（Wicked_Lovers_11）_Black,_Shayla_-_Falling_in_Deeper_(2016,_Penguin_Publishing_Group.epub

PRAISEFORTHENOVELSOFSHAYLABLACK
“Scorching,wrenching,suspenseful,ShaylaBlack’sbooksareamust-read.”
—LoraLeigh,#1NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthor
“Wickedlyseductivefromstarttofinish.”
—JaciBurton,NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthor
“[Black]alwaysdeliversstrongcharacters,greatstories,andplentyofheat.”
—USAToday
“Absolutelyfabulous.”
—FictionVixen
“Theperfectcombinationofexcitement,adventure,romance,andreallyhotsex…Thisbookhasitall!”
—SmexyBooks
“Todiefor.[A]fabulousread!”
—FreshFiction
“Thisoneisascorcher.”
—TheRomanceReadersConnection
TitlesbyShaylaBlack
TheWickedLoversNovels
WICKEDTIES
DECADENT
DELICIOUS
SURRENDERTOME
BELONGTOME
MINETOHOLD
OURSTOLOVE
WICKEDALLNIGHT
(novella)
THEIRSTOCHERISH
HISTOTAKE
WICKEDFORYOU
FALLINGINDEEPER
ThePerfectGentlemenNovels(withLexiBlake)
SCANDALNEVERSLEEPS
SEDUCTIONINSESSION
BIGEASYTEMPTATION
Anthologies
FOURPLAY
(withMayaBanks)
HOTINHANDCUFFS
(withSylviaDayandShilohWalker)
WICKEDANDDANGEROUS
(withRhyannonByrd)
Specials
HERFANTASYMEN
TitlesbyShaylaBlackwritingasShelleyBradley
BOUNDANDDETERMINED
STRIPSEARCH
AnimprintofPenguinRandomHouseLLC
375HudsonStreet,NewYork,NewYork10014
ThisbookisanoriginalpublicationofPenguinRandomHouseLLC.
Copyright?2016byShelleyBradleyLLC.
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LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Names:Black,Shayla,author.
Title:Fallingindeeper/ShaylaBlack.
Description:Berkleytradepaperbackedition.|NewYork:BerkleyBooks,2016.
Identifiers:LCCN2016002069(print)|LCCN2016009632(ebook)|
ISBN9780425275474(paperback)|ISBN9780698164000(ebook)
Subjects:|BISAC:FICTION/Romance/Contemporary.|FICTION/Contemporary
Women.|FICTION/Romance/General.|GSAFD:Romancesuspensefiction.|
Eroticfiction.
Classification:LCCPS3602.L325245F352016(print)|LCCPS3602.L325245
(ebook)|DDC813/.6—dc23
LCrecordavailableathttp://lccn.loc.gov/2016002069
PUBLISHINGHISTORY
Berkleytradepaperbackedition/July2016
Coverphotographs:man?vuk8691/GettyImages;smoke?AmbientIdeas/ShutterstockImages;
tattoos?phugunfire/ShutterstockImages
CoverdesignbyAlanaColucci.
Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentseitheraretheproductoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,businessestablishments,events,orlocalesisentirelycoincidental.
Version_1
Acknowledgments
Tomywonderfulassistantandfriend,RachelConnolly,forholdingmyhandandjugglingsomanytasksduringthiscrazytime,andforyouramazinglykindwordsabouthowmuchyoulovethisbook.IcannottellyouhowgratefulIam.
ToShaylaFereshetianforbeta-readingthisbookformeinwhathastobeoneofthemostcomical,entertaining,andextremelyhelpfulfashionsever.Thankssomuch,doll!!!WhenImetyouandrealizedwehadasharedloveofsnark,Iknewwehadmorethananameincommon.
Last(butneverleast),tomyhusbandofnearlytwenty-fiveyears.Youmaythinkyou’reonlythrowingtogetheramealormakingmeacupofteaorstartingmeafireorgettingmeablanketwhenI’mworking.Butyou’rewrong.YoumaythinkthatIdon’tnoticethewayyoutakecareofmywebsiteorshippingoranyoftheothermillionandonetasksyoudosoIcankeepwriting.That’snottrue.I’mblessedandhumbledeverydaytobemarriedtotheonemanontheplanetwholovesme,respectswhatIdo,takescareofmewhenIforget,playsavideogamewithmewhenI’mtired,isthebestdadinhistory,andstillmakesmelaugh.Loveyouforever!Happysilverweddinganniversary,babe!
Contents
PraisefortheNovelsofShaylaBlack
TitlesbyShaylaBlack
TitlePage
Copyright
Acknowledgments
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven
ChapterTwelve
ChapterThirteen
ChapterFourteen
ChapterFifteen
ChapterSixteen
ChapterSeventeen
ChapterEighteen
ChapterNineteen
ChapterTwenty
AbouttheAuthor
ChapterOne
STONESuttersquintedagainsttheglareoftherisingsunashewatchedtheincreasinglyfamiliarsightsofLafayette,Louisiana,zippastthewindowsofhisblackpickup.Theearlyhourswerealmostbearable,butheknewthemorningwouldbecomeahot,wetblanketbyninea.m.EveryAugustdayintheSouthfeltlikeaspeciallevelofhell.
Whenhisphonechimed,heglancedatthedisplay:UNKNOWNNUMBER
Hisfuckingpersistentfed.Justfabulous.“What?”
“Goodmorning,Sutter.”
Asfarashewasconcerned,anythinggoodaboutthedayhadjustswirleddownthetoilet.“Whatdoyouwant,Bankhead?I’mstillworkingonit.”
“Tooslowly.”
“Idon’tmoveanyfasterwithyoubreathingdownmyneck.”
“Electiondeadlinesarecomingup.Ifwe’regoingtostopTimothyCantonbeforehethrowshishatintotheringforgovernorofCalifornia,weneedtosewupourcasenow.Otherwise,he’sgotenoughmoneyandfinancialbackingtoplowoverthecompetition.Weneedeverythingreadytoindicthimashe’sdeclaringhiscandidacysowecancuffhimwhilewestartspillingjuicydetails.”
“You’veexplainedthis,”Stonesnapped.“I’vegotit.Giveitarest.”
FBISpecialAgentBobBankhead—orBlockhead,asStonepreferred—huffedintothephone.“LilyTaylorboughtagunthismorningunderherMistySmithaliasandregisteredforacomprehensivegun-safetyclassthisafternoon.HerInternetsearchessuggestsheintendstorun.”
GivenLily’ssuddenandferventinterestintheFloridaKeys,Stonehadthoughtthesamething.Why,afteralltheseyears?Becauseherpreviousboyfriend,AxelDillon,hadfalleninlovewithsomeoneelse?Wastheshybeautystuckonanearlymarriedman?
“Notsocockynow,areyou?”Blockheadbarked.“YouknowhowmanyyearsittookustotrackdownMs.Taylor,andthepoliticalcapitalitcostisn’tsomethingmybosswouldliketoexpendagain.Don’tletherslipawayor…”
Thefeddidn’tbotherfinishinghissentence.Stoneknewthe“or”well.He’dalreadyspentenoughtimebehindbars,watchinghisback,provinghistoughness,andsidesteppinginmatepolitics.Thatshitstillmadehimbreakoutinacoldsweat.
“I’monit,”heswore.
“You’vehadthreemonths.Youhaven’tproducedasingleresult.”
StonereallywishedhecouldtelltheFBItofuckoffbecausehewasn’tasnitchandLilywasn’tapawn.Buthedidn’thavethatoptionifhewantedtoavoidanotherextendedstayatthelovelyFederalCorrectionalInstituteinBeaumont.
“MyfirstcontactleftthecountrybeforeIcouldevenapproachhimwiththedeal.”Axelcertainlyhadn’tstayedaroundlongenoughtoseehimmeethistarget,LilyTaylor,akaSweetPea.“Andsubsequentcontactshavebeen…”Painsinmyass.“Reluctanttoletmeseeher.”
“Noneofthatismyproblem.Dowhateveryouhaveto.Justgetmeafuckingwitness,oryou’llbeheadingbacktoprison.Youhavetwoweeks.”
Blockheadhungup.Stoneresistedtheurgetopoundhisphoneagainstthedashboard.Itwouldn’thelphissituation.Instead,hementallyreviewedhisoptions.
Justyesterdayhe’dtriedtomoveforward—andhe’dbeenshutdownagainbyLily’stwostaunchestguardians:MitchellThorpeandSeanMackenzie.Iftheydidn’teachalreadyhaveabeautifulwifebetweenthemexpectingtheirfirstbaby,Stonewouldsuspectulteriormotives.ButtheysimplywantedSweetPeahappyandsafe.
Theyweren’thisonlyobstacles.Stonehadkeepersofhisown.JackColeandLoganEdgingtonweresupposedtoensurethathecouldclosethedealwithLilyTaylorwhenthetimewasright.
AsfarasStonewasconcerned,thetimehadtoberightnow.
Hepulledoverintoanearbyparkinglot,emptyjustbeforeeighta.m.,andopenedhislaptop.Afterconnectingittohishotspot,heopenedafilewithastringofcodehe’dwrittenandembeddeditinajpegofafunnycomicstripbeforehee-mailedit.Thenhewaited.Itwouldn’ttakelong.
Fifteenminuteslater,JackCole,his“boss”atOracle,afirmthatspecializedinpersonalsecurityandmilitaryconsulting,called.Stonewasn’tatrainedoperative,justthetechnicalhelp.AndsinceJackwasn’tasocialcreature,heknewtheguyhadn’tdialedhimtoshoottheshit.
Herewego…Stonepressedthebuttonandacceptedthecall.“What’sup,man?I’monmywayintotheoffice.”
“Ineedafavorfirst.”
Jackhadasuperhotwife,acutelittleboy,anotherkidontheway,andplentyofbuddies,soStonesurmisedthisfavorrequiredhisparticularskillset.Ifmostanyoneelseheknewhadcalledforhelp,itprobablywouldn’thavebeenlegal.ButJackdidn’thaveacriminalboneinhisbody.
“Sure.”Stonesatback,feelingprettydamnoptimistic.“Whatdoyouneed?”
“Dekejustgotoffthephone,”Jacksaidofhisbusinesspartner.“Hisbrothers-in-lawcoulduseahandwithaproblemthey’rehaving.”
“Computer-related?”
“Yep.Doyoumind?”
Mind?Stonesmiled.Ifhehadminded,hewouldn’thaveinfectedtheirserversinthefirstplace.
Deke’swife,Kimber,hadtwobrothers,HunterandLogan.TheEdgingtonmenweretoughguys.FormerNavySEALs.Fuckingheroesalltheway.Butmoreimportant,theyweren’ttechexperts,andStonenowhadawaytogreasethewheelsandgetthistrainmovingsohecouldreachLilysooner.
“Sure.ShouldIheadtotheiroffice?”
“Yeah.Joaquiniswaitingforyou.”JackreferencedtheEdgingtons’stepbrother.“He’llwalkyouthroughtheissue.”
Thatwasn’twhatStonewantedtohear.“WillLoganbearound?”
BecauseStonereallyneededtomakeoneoftheseoverprotectivehensunderstand,andLoganseemedthemostlikelyonetoseereason.
“Probably.Why?Yougotamancrush?”Jackteased.
Stonehadn’texpectedtoliketheguyshenowworkedwith,buttheyweredamngoodatwhattheydidandhadwickedsensesofhumor.
“Nomorethanyou’rejonesingoverthatdudewhomakesthosecustomknives.”
“Keith?”Jackscoffed.“He’safreak.”Afterapause,hewenton.“AndLoganmightbe,too.Goodpoint.”Aftertheybothhadalaugh,Jackinstructed,“Keepmepostedaboutthescopeoftheirproblem.”
“Yougotit.”
Hearrivedattheirofficelessthanfiveminuteslater.JoaquinMu?ozmethimatthedoor.Hewasasombersortwhoonlyseemedtosmilewhenhelookedatortalkedabouthisfiancée,Bailey.Theguywasheadoverheelsforhisballerina,whoappearedequallyintoherbigbruiserofasecurityspecialist.Infact,theLatinoloverprobablycouldhavemadeabigsplashinHollywoodifhe’dbeenlesssurly.
Asusual,themanwasallbusiness.ProbablybecauseheownedathirdofwhathadbecomeEMSecurityManagement,thepersonalsecuritycompanyhe,Hunter,andLoganhadtakenoverwhenCalebEdgingtonretired.
“What’sup?”Stonecalledasheclimbedfromhispickup.
“Thisfuckingvirus.Ithitsuddenlythismorning.God,Ihatecomputerssometimes.”
Stonehadnodoubtthatworkforeveryoneintheofficewouldbeatastandstilluntilhepurgedtheparticularlynastycodehe’dplantedontheirserver.“Icanfixthat,nosweat.”
“Thanks.Iappreciateyoucomingonsuchshortnotice.”
Thepleasurewasallhis.“Noproblem.”
“You’resavingourass.”Joaquinthrustouthishand.
No,Loganwasgoingtosavehis—andLily’s.Stonelikeditwhenaplancametogether.
AfterheshookJoaquin’shand,theyheadedforthedoor.Stoneturnedtothebigguy.“Sowhatarethesymptoms?Whathaveyoutried?”
JoaquinscowledandlaunchedintoanexplanationthatStonezonedthrough.“Alltheusualtricksaren’tworkingonthisvirus.Ican’tseemtogetridofit.”
BecauseStonehadwrittenitforjustthisoccasion,andhe’dknownexactlywhattheywoulddotoeradicateit.Hecouldn’tlie;pridebeamed.Goodtoknowhehadn’tlostallhisskillswhilelanguishingbehindbars.“I’llfixit.”
“Quickly,Ihope.”Theothermanwenton,frustrationvisibleonhisface.“We’vedisconnectedeverythingwecanfromtheserversinthehopesitwon’tspread,butit’sbroughtouroperationtoagrindinghalt.”
“Gotit.Leadtheway.”
AsStonewoundthroughthebuildingthathadoncebeenafactory,itsstarkconcretewallsdidn’tprovideanounceofvisualinterest.Downaflightofstairstheyreachedaroomsochillyitcouldhavepassedforcoldstorage.InsidesatabankofserversalltwinklinglikeChristmastreesinstraight,symmetricallines.Ah,hefeltathomehere.Peopleoftenpissedhimoff.Computerswerefarmorestraightforward.Theydidn’tlieandweren’thardtofigureout.Theydidn’tbetrayhim,andheneverhadtoguesswherehestoodwithamachine.Everyencounterwithonewassimplyamatterofdeterminingwhowasmoreclever,andStonemadeithisbusinesstowin.
Joaquinsethimbehindadeskwithacomputer.“Letmeknowifyouneedanythingelse.”
“CanIgrabacupofcoffeefirst?”heasked,mainlybecauseheknewLogankepthisdeskasclosetothecoffeemachineashumanlypossible.
“Yeah,youknowwhereitis.Ihavetogetbacktoanothersituation.Ifyouhaveanyotherquestions,Loganisbackthere.”
“Hunter?”Justincasehisyoungerbrotherneededfurtherconvincing.
Joaquinshookhishead.“BabyPhoenixhadaroughnight.Hehasacold,soHunterandKatastayedupwithhim.Icancallhimforemergencies.”
Hehopeditwouldn’tcometothat.“Thanks.I’lldomybesttotakecareoftheproblemwithoutinvolvinghim.”
Withanod,Joaquinwanderedoff.Stonefollowedslowlyuntiltheothermandisappearedintohiscubicleareaandstartedbarkingintothephone.Thenhecrepttowardthecoffeemakerandbrewedacup.Withasteamingmuginhand,StonepokedhisheadaroundthecornerandfoundLoganswearingoveramapspreadacrosshisdesk.
“Hey,”hecalled.
TheyoungerEdgingtonseemedlikethefriendlysort,atleastuntilsomeonepissedhimoff.
Loganliftedhishead,piercinghimwithblueeyes.“Thankfuckyou’reheretofixthisvirus.We’resocareful.Ihavenoideahowthishappened.”
“Thewritersofmaliciouscodedelightinbeingmoreunderhandedthanyou.”Hesmiledattheirony.
“Yeah?Theycangofuckthemselves.Theycouldbeputtinglivesatrisk.”
Stonehadthoughtofthatandfeltvaguelyguilty.Thegoodnewswasthathewoulddisinfectalltheirmachinesquickly.He’deveninstallafewextragoodiestokeepthemsecurefrompotentialoutsidethreatsinthefuture…assoonashe’dsecuredLogan’sassistance.
“Asshats,”hemutteredinvagueagreement.“ButaslongasI’mhere,IwanttotalktoyouaboutSweetPea.”
EvenspeakinghernicknamemadeStoneunbearablyhard.
Shortlyafterhe’dwalkedoutofthepen,he’dtestedhispick-upskillsandrealizedthathestillhadgame.Hell,ifanything,gettingasshadbecomeeasiersincewomenapparentlylikedabadboy.EverywomanexceptSweetPeaakaMistySmith—bothbullshitaliasesforLilyTaylor.
Stonedidn’twantanyonebuther,andthatwasinconvenientashell.Butafterspendinghisfirstthirtysecondswithher,thechemicalzingbetweenthemhadlefthimbeyondintrigued.Hewasn’tevensurewhyhe’dsototallyfixatedonhershysexiness,butheburnedtoknowwhatsortofwomanspokethatsoftlyyetworesiren-redlipstick.Whatwasshetryingtohidewithallthatvampyblackliningsuchvulnerablechocolateeyes?Ifhecouldpryopenherdefensesandherthighs,notonlywouldtheybecombustibletogether,Stoneknewhecouldhelpsaveher.
Toobadthat,aftertheirpromisingfirstmeet,she’dbegunavoidinghimasifshe’dratherhavetheplague.
Logan’sstareturnedsomewherebetweengrimandinhospitable.“Dude,youaskedyesterday.Theanswerisno.”
“Bankheadcalledthismorning.Ihavetwoweeks.We’verunoutoftime.”
Theformerfrogmanhissedacurse.“Sonofabitch.Idon’tlikethis.”
“Notmyfirstchoice,either.”
“Theplanwouldworkbetterifyoutwohadbeenseeingeachotherallsummer.”
Truethat.Butshewouldn’ttakehiscalls.Stonesuspectedshewasdodgingtheheatbetweenthem,butthatwasn’tall.Somethingelsehadspookedher.
Forthehundredthtime,hewonderedwhatshewasthinking.Whywassheafraidofhim?HowcouldhepersuadehertotestifyagainstCantonbeforetheguydecidedtosnuffoutalltheskeletonsinhisclosetpriortotheelection?
WhatwouldLilyfeellikeunderhim,whimperingandcallinghisname,whenhethrustdeepinsideher?
“ButI’mstillnotsureyourollhardenoughtogiveSweetPeawhatsheneeds.”Loganscowled.
Maybe,maybenot.LoganandJackhadspentthebetterpartofthreemonthstryingtoteachhim.Hehadn’ttrekkeddowntheDominantpathinthepast.Buthe’dbewhateverLilyneededinordertomakeherhappyandsecureherhelp.
Thenhewouldbeafreeman.
Thelusciouspinupbeautywashisget-out-of-jail-freecard—literally.IfsheagreedtoplaynicelywiththefedsabouttherapeandmurderofErinGutierrez,hecouldputthepastbehindhimandtrytoforgethowbadlyhe’dfuckeduphislife.Whilehe’dbeenaway,he’dinheritedenoughmoneyfromhislateuncleVincetolivesomewherebetweenfrugallyandcomfortablyuntilhefoundanewcitytocallhomeandacorrespondingjob.
Butrightnow,itwasdamninconvenientthathecouldn’tseemtofocusonLilyTaylorasawitness,ratherthanawoman.
“I’dliketofindout,”hetoldLogan.Hell,he’dwelcomeanychancetobenearher.“GetmefacetimewithherandI’lldomybest.”
“Tellyouwhat.Youfixthisprobleminlessthananhour,andI’llcalltheothersonyourbehalf.Ifnot…”ThemockregretinLogan’sexpressionwasall“toobad,sosad.”
ItwasStone’sturntosmilebecausethejokewasonLogan.“You’vegotadeal.”
Sippinghiscupofjoe,Stoneturnedtomakehiswaytothebankofserversandbumpedintoanunfamiliarguy.Darkhair,midnighteyes,allthelevityofanundertaker.Stonemethisgazestraightonandrealizedthatevenatpoint-blankdistance,theguyhideverythingbehindasteelystare.
“Stone,thisisPierce.”Loganintroducedthem.
Firstnameorlast?
“One-Mile,”thedudecorrected,stilltakingStone’smeasurewithdeadeyes.
Logansighed.“One-Mile.He’sourresidentsniper.Ratherthanhisgivenname,he’dprefertobeknownbyhislongestkillshot.Godsavemefrombigegos.”
Holyshit.Stonetriednottolookimpressed.Hedoubtedthisdudewantedanyadmiration.He’dbetOne-MilehadcomefromthearmyandprobablydoneafewtoursinAfghanistan.Despitehisinsistencethateveryoneusehismoniker,hewasthetypewhoneverwantedanyonefawningoverhimforperforminghisdutytohiscountry.
Stonestuckouthishand.“Hey.”
One-Mileshookitwithanabsentnod,focusedinsteadonLogan.“I’dliketospeaktoyou.”
“What’sup?”
“Iquit.”Afterhe’ddeliveredhisnews,theleanwhipofamanturnedawayasifhe’dfulfilledhisdutyandbegantowalkoff.
“Nope,”Logancalledafterhim.“Youcan’t.I’vegotacontract.Yousigned.Wepaidthebonus,andyoucashedthecheck.Endofconversation.”
One-Milestoppedinhistracks.
Anothermanappearedinthehallandsidledpasthim,glaringdaggers.“Fuckingdouche.”
“Thefeelingismutual.”
“Giveitarest,youtwo.”Loganrolledhiseyes.“IfIcanworkwithmyolderbrother,youcantolerateeachotherlongenoughtogetyourshitdone.”
BeforeStonecouldevenwonderwhatbeeftheyhad,thenewcomerrakedahandoverhismilitary-shortblondhair.“Iwillnevertrusthimenoughtobeonanoperationalteamwithhim.Ifhewantstoquit,Isaygoodriddance.”
Loganslammedafistonhisdesk.“Cutter,Idon’tgiveashitifPiercesleptwithyourbestfriend.”
“One-Mile,”theguycorrected.
“Whatever.”Loganwavedahandthroughtheair.
“No!It’snotwhatever,”Cutterinsisted.“Ican’tworkwithBrea’srapist.”
“Ihadherconsent,”One-Milesnarled,hiseyesfinallycomingalivewithhate.
“Youmanipulatedhersothatshehadnochoicebuttosayyes.”Cutterclenchedhisfists.
“Shehadachoice.”One-Milecrossedhisarmsoverhischest.“Ifyouwantherthatbadly,youshouldhaveclaimedhersometimebetweenjuniorhighandthisJuly.Youhadplentyoftime.Butittookyouthatlongtofindyourdick,andthat’snotmyproblem.She’sminenow.”
CutternarrowedfierceeyesatOne-Mile,asifhe’dlosthismind.“She’snotevenspeakingtoyou,asshat.”
“Misunderstanding.”
“No,reality.Somethingyou’reobviouslynotfamiliarwith.Ifshewindsuppregnant—”
“That’senough,”Loganshouted.“Idon’tcareifyoubeatthehelloutofoneanotherafterhours,butstopbringingyourpersonalshittowork.Ifyoucan’t,I’lllockyouinaroomtogetheruntilyoulearntogetalongoroneofyoukillstheother.Idon’tcarewhichatthispoint.Beprofessionalanddoyourdamnjobs.”
SilencefellinthewakeofLogan’sverbalbeatdown.Cuttersworeandstompedaway.
One-MilecockedhisheadandregardedLoganwithasolemnexpression.“Ididn’trapeher.”
“Sinceshehadtochoosebetweensavingherbestfriend’slifeandsleepingwithyou,I’dsayyoucoercedher.Itdoesn’tgetmuchlowerthanthatinmybook.”
Yeah,Stonedidn’tdoubtthat’showLogansawthatsituation.AllofJackCole’spalshadCaptainAmericacomplexes.Theywereheroesthroughandthrough.Theyrefusedtobendtheirvaluesforadog-eat-dogworld.Theyfiguredouthowtomaketheworldbowtothem.AvagueshamecloggedStone’sveins.Everytimehethoughthelikedtheseguys,herememberedthathedidn’tbelong.
LoganrubbedatthebackofhisneckandglaredatOne-Mile.“Getthefuckoutofmyface.”
“Rogerthat.”Piercegavehimamocksaluteandmarchedaway.
Oncetheguywasoutofsight,Loganletoutalong,lowcurse.“Iswear,somedaysIgetwhymyfatherretiredanddumpedthisshitinourlaps.Hunter,Joaquin,andIinheritedthosetwowhenthecolonelsteppeddown.They’reexhausting,andwithtwingirlstoddlingaroundmyhouse,peaceisalreadyatapremium.”
Stonesmiledfaintly.“Thosedudeslooklikeapainintheass.”
“Toobadshootingthemwouldbeillegal.IthinkI’dbedoingtheworldafavor.”Heglancedattheclockonhiscomputer.“You’veonlygotfifty-oneminuteslefttofixmyproblemifyouwantmetotalktoThorpeandSeanaboutarrangingtimeforyouwithSweetPea.”
“Bastard,”hepoked,notworried.“I’monit.”
Stonepivotedaway,backtothechillyroomwiththegleamingrowofhardware—and,hehoped,hisfuture.
***
“Idon’tlikeit.”SeanMackenzieglaredacrossthetablefromStonethatevening
Asalways,Thorpewasinlockstepwithhisbuddy.“She’snotready.”
“Why?”Stonedemanded,sittingwiththemaroundthekitchentableatDominion,theexclusiveBDSMclubThorpeowned.
Granted,hehadn’tseenLilyinmonths,butwhenhe’dmethershehadn’tlookedreadytofallapartatAxel’simminentdeparture.Supposedly,she’dcompletelyimplodedoncethemanhadgone.Stonewantedtoknowthereason,sohecoulddeviseaplantohelpher.
“We’vebeenoverthis.”Thorpescowled.“Axelwasherpillar.Heproppedherupandgaveherboundariesand—”
“Icandothat,”Stoneinsisted.“LoganandJackhavespentthelastthreefuckingmonthspreparingmetobewhateversheneeds.Letmedoit.”
“Alltheoreticalknowledge.”Seanshookhishead,thenglancedThorpe’sway.“ButStoneisright.Bankheadcalledmetoday,too.SodidacoupleofmyformercolleaguesfromtheBureau.He’sgettingthesqueeze,soit’snowornever.Axelisn’tcomingbackanytimesoon?”
Thorpeshookhishead.“Notforanothermonthatleast.Italkedtohimthismorning.HeandMysteryhavedecidedtostayintheUKuntilherfatherhastoflytotheStatestostartfilminganewmovie.”
AfamiliarCajuncursesoundedoverthespeakerphone.JackColecouldn’tbeinDallastodaysohe’dcalled.“MaybeifyouletAxelinonourplanandaskedhimtocontactSweetPea—”
“He’dobjectlikeamotherfucker.”Thorpegrimaced.“Besides,ifLilyisgoingtostartrelyingonStoneforguidance,thenwecan’taskAxeltoprovideit.”
“Exactly,”Stoneinsisted.“AxelleftyouinchargeofLily’swell-being,Thorpe.LetmeseeheragainsoIcanstartbuildingtrustbetweenus.ButIneedeveryminuteofthesetwoweekstoconvincehertotestify.”Still,thetriosaidnothing,andStone’sfrustrationmounted.“Weagreedmonthsagothatshewon’thaveafutureuntilshefacesherpast,right?Axelcan’thelpherdothat.OnlyIcan.”
Despitetheirgrumbling,theyallreluctantlyagreed.
“Thenstopdickingaround.You’rekeepingherinlimbo.”StonelookedSean’sway.“Look,IgetwhyyourefusedwhenthefedsaskedyoutotalkLilyintotestifying.Wealldo.Cantonisapsychowithatrailofdeadbodiesinhiswake,andCallieispregnant.”
Seannoddedgrimly.Heclearlyhatedshirkinganythingthatresembledhisduty.“ThorpeandIcan’triskourwife.”
NotlongaftertheFBIapproachedSean,aformeragentwhoknewLilyTaylorwell,JackhadneededahackerwithStone’sskillsetandpulledstringstohavehimreleasedfromprisontemporarilytoassistwithaclient’snastycybersecurityproblem.WhileworkinginDallasonenight,StonehadtakenasinglelookatSweetPeaandhe’dwantedthatpetitebunchofcurlsandfrillsfiercely.Determinedtodowhateverittook,hefinagledameetandgreet.Basedontheirinstant—andmutual—attraction,SeanandthefedshadconcoctedaplottotaskhimwithpersuadingLilytotestify.
Admittedly,theideawasbrilliant.Bystrong-armingStonetosoftenLilyupforthestand,theFBIwasn’triskingthelifeofaformeragentorhislovedonesifCantoncaughtwindofthescheme.ItonlytookasinglethreattocontrolStone,whomthefedsnodoubtsawasathoroughlyexpendableresource.Bestofall,ifStonesucceeded,hissentencewouldbecommuted.Awin-winforeveryone
“AndifthefedsdragLilyinonawarrantasamaterialwitness,itdoesn’tmatterifshesawCantonparticipateinthegangrapeandmurderofherbestfriendatsixteen.Theycan’tforcehertotestify,”Stoneadded.“Convincinghertotellajurywhatsheknowswillbeonehellofahardsellbecausethelasttimesheagreedtodotherightthingandbetheprosecution’sstarwitness,Cantonhadhermomandlittlebrotherslaughtered.YouandtheFBIdidn’tsendmebacktoprisonsoIcouldhavetheopportunitytoconvinceher.Letmedoit.Useme.IfyouwanthersafeinthelongrunasmuchasIdo,thenwe’vegottohelpherputthisassholeawaybeforehegainsmorepower.”
“Don’tpretendforonesecondthisisn’taboutyou.”Thorpeglaredhisway.“Youdon’twanttogobacktoprison.”
“Whodoes?Mostpeoplearen’teagerforincarceration.Butwe’veallagreedthatLilyhasbeenlivingahalflifesinceshecamehere,andyou’velether.”
Allthreemenfellquiet,theguiltoftheirsilenceheavy.
“He’sright.Youneedtoactsoon.”Calliepokedherheadintotheroom.“Hi.Sorry.Iknowyoudidn’taskformyopinion,butStonehasagoodpoint.”
“Pet…”Thorpewarnedashespunaroundtotheprettybrunette.
Sheventuredcloser,absentlyrubbingherexpandingbellyasshedroppedakissonbothThorpe’sandSean’scheeks.“Don’t‘pet’me.Earlier,ItalkedwithSweetPea—Imean,Lily.Istillcan’tbelievethat’sherrealname.She’swithdrawingfurtherintoherself.Youtwoknowshedoesn’twanttoleanoneitherofyouanddivertyourattentionfromme.”
GiventhesweetnessLilyhadexhibitedinthatoneprecioushourhe’dspentwithher,thatdidn’tsurpriseStoneatall.
“Butsheneedssomeone,”Calliewenton.“She’snotsleeping,andsheadmittedthathernightmaresaregettingworse.”
Stonesatupstraighter.“Nightmares?Aboutwhat?”
Calliegavehimanapologeticgrimace.“Shewon’tsay.Idon’tthinkevenAxelknew.”
ThatgaveStonepause,thenalittlebitofhope.Ifshe’dlovedthebigbastard,wouldn’tshehavesharedhernocturnalfearswithhim?StonewantedtobemoreimportanttoLily.Hewantedtobethemanshetrustedwithallhersecrets.
Hisfuturedependedonit,too.
“C’mon,youguys,”heurged.“We’vetalkedaboutadozenreasonswhyweshouldproceed.You’vepreparedme.I’vegotthis.Theonlyreasonnottoisbecauseyoudon’thaveanyfaithinherabilitytocomeoutofhershell.She’snotbrokenbeyondrepair.”
ThorpeandSeanexchangedaglanceandseemedtogetonthesamepagewithoutaword.ThenThorpeleanedtowardthespeakerphone.“Jack?”
“Yeah.AsmuchasIhatethethoughtofthrowingSweetPeatothewolf—nooffense,Sutter—orputtingherindanger,Idon’tthinkwecanwaitanylonger.”
Seanpulledouthisownphone,sentatextortwo,thenlookedbackhisway.“Allright.We’reago.ContactBankheadassoonasshesaysyes.”
“What’syourplan?”Thorpeasked.
“I’vegotsomeideas,”Stoneansweredvaguely.“Leaveeverythingtome.”
Nooneatthetablelookedasiftheylikedthesoundofthat,butthefedshadtappedhimforthistask.AndStonerelishedit.Yes,hecouldavoidgoingbacktoprison,buthealsofuckingwantedtogethishandsonprettylittleLily,explorethesparksbetweenthem.
“Look,”Jackbegan,onlytobeinterruptedbyapoundingnoise.“Someone’satmyofficedoor.Forfuck’ssake…Hangon.”Footstepsretreated,andthesoundofadooropeningfollowed.“Logan?”
“Areyouonthephonewiththatfucker?”Loganbarked.
Stonetriednottosmile.“Hi,Logan.”
“Youplantedthatvirusinournetwork.Islavedallfuckingmorningtomakesurethatnothingwasaffected,andyoudidthatshitonpurpose.LasttimeI’mopeningane-mailfromyou.”
“Iknewyoucouldn’tresistDilbert,”heteased.
Aroundthetable,everyoneelselaughed.
“Yousuck,”Logangrowled.
“Ihadtodosomethingtomakeyouguysreevaluatethesituation.Sorry.Desperatetimes,desperatemeasuresandallthatshit.Butwe’reonthesamepagenow?”Apairofnods,asighedyes,andanassentinggrumblelater,Stonestood.“Good.IwanttoseeLily.Now.”
ChapterTwo
THEmomentLilyTaylorhadbeendreadingforninemonthshadfinallyarrived.Aroundher,theemergencyroombuzzed.Peopleinwhitecoatsandscrubsscurriedaroundthefreezing,sterilespacewearinggrimexpressions.Becausetheyknewhowmuchshewasgivingup?
Thepainwrackingherbodybarelypenetratedherhead.They’dinjectedsomethinginherIVfinally.Nowshefeltasifshewerefloatingoffthetable.Vaguely,shewonderedifhermotherwouldcomeorifshe’ddecidedtowashherhandsofherteenagedaughterafterall.
Normally,itwouldn’tmatter.Shehadherbestie.Erinhadagreedtoholdherhand.Herfriend’sbrother,Corey,hadswornhe’dbackherup,too.
Inoneterribleafternoon,everythinghadchanged.
“Push!”awomaninbloodstainedbluescrubsshoutedather.
Wherewasthedoctor?
Still,theurgewouldn’tbedenied.Sheboredown,onepushflowingintothenextuntiltimehadnomeaningbeyondthepaingrippingandthesweatdrenchingher.Pressurepulledandtuggedathermiddle,nearlycrushingher.Shescreamed,thenclenchedherteethasshestruggledupandgaveamightypush.
Atonce,theagonyandthestressended.Lilywiltedbackbutstayedawaketosavortheveryfewmomentsshewouldgetwiththemostpreciouspersoninherlife.
Anursebenttoher,fillingherlineofvisionwithaclinicalexpression,buthereyesheldpity.AroundLily,machinesbeeped.Everyoneelsebustledtoclusteraroundatableafewfeetaway,shoutingatoneanother.Stresschargedtheroom.
AnxietyfilledLily,replacingthelanguidfeelingofaccomplishment.“What’sgoingon?”
Shedidn’thearthesoundsofababycrying.
Panicked,shetriedtoclimboffthetable,butthenursewhowouldn’tanswerhershovedanotherneedleinherIV.Thennothing…
Withagasp,Lilyopenedhereyesandsatupinthedark,emptyroom,tangledinthedampsheets.Herheartraced.Shelookedaroundtheshadowedroomandheavedasighofrelief.Present.Dallas.Dominion.Anothertime,anotherplace.Aftersevenyears,shewishedthegoddamnnightmareswouldstop.
Tearswelledinhereyes—poolinginthecorners—butshecouldn’tquitespillthem.Shetrembled,foughtforair.Wouldsheeverhaveanormallife?Lilyneededtoburyherpastandstopbeingafraidofthefuture.Standonherowntwofeet.
Herheadacknowledgedallthat.Thatscaredgirlwho’dlosteveryoneshe’deverlovedhadnoideahowtomakethathappen.
Hatingherselfforherweakness,shereachedforhercellphoneandstartedtodialherfriendandformerprotector,Axel.Beforeshecompletedthecall,sherememberedthathewasinLondonwithhisnewfiancée.Eventuallytheywouldreturn,buthehadhisownlifeandafuturehecouldn’twaittobegin.
Hedeservedmorethantokeepdealingwithherbrokenpast.
Withasniffle,sheclimbedoutofbed,abitembarrassedthatshe’dfallenasleeponthejob.Butshecouldn’tseemtodropintoslumberinhersolitaryapartmentthesedays,soshecametoworkexhausted.
Lilyroseandsmoothedoutherclothes,thenpattedherhairbackintoplace.Foryears,she’dfeltalmostsecurehereatDominion.Untilrecently,she’dstoppedlookingoverhershoulderquitesomuch.Yes,she’dalwaysknownherpasthoveredthere,breathingdownherneck.Butnowshefearedithadcomebacktohaunther.
Maybeshewasbeingparanoid,butshewouldswearshe’dseenaguywatchingheratthegrocerystoreoneday,thenbumpedintohimatafastfoodjointthenext.Anothergirlmightwriteitoffasmerecoincidenceorthinkhewasfollowingherbecausehewasinterested.Butshedidn’tbelieveincoincidence,andhehadn’tflirtedwithheratall.Infact,hehadwatchedherwithadissectingstarethatmadeheranxiousandafraid.Hecertainlyhadn’togledherasifhecouldn’twaittostripherbarethewayStoneSutterhad.
Maybeitwastimetopackup,moveon…justincase.She’dbeeninDallasforyearsnow—plentyoftimeforCantontohavecaughton.
AccordingtoAxel,whenshewasfeelingscaredoroverwhelmedlikethis,shewassupposedtocallThorpe.ButheremployerhadhishandsfullwithSean,Callie,andtheircomingbaby.LilyrefusedtodumpherpersonalproblemsinThorpe’slap.Hell,hestillcalledherSweetPeaorMisty—justlikeAxel—becauseshe’dnevertoldanyofthemherrealnameorherrealtruth.Settinghimstraightwouldbeanuncomfortableconversationafteralltheseyears.Notthatshe’dputhimoranyofherfriendsatrisk.
Theonlypersonshemighthavetoldwhatshewasfeeling?Stone.He’dsuckedherinwithasingleburningstareandmadehertremble.Hisseeminglydevil-may-careattitudeandtherockingtatsonhisbulgingbicepshadintriguedher.Hewasquickwithasmileoraquip.Heseemedgentleonthesurface.Hecameacrosslikesomeonewhomightunderstand.She’dbeensodamngiddytospendtimewithhim.
Lilybitherlipagainsttheachethatbloomedinherbelly.Whatafoolshe’dbeen.
Shehatedwalksdownmemorylane,buthermindtrekkedthepathanyway,takingherbackthreemonths,tothenightthey’dmet.
Zebhadledhertoawell-litplayroom.Stonehadbeenwaitinginside.He’dzippedhisgazearoundtozeroinonherasZebusheredherthroughthedoor.Darkeyesnarrowed,bodycoiled,StonehadgivenLilytheimpressionofamaleanimalonhighalertashesizeduphisprey.
Afterquickintroductions,Zebhadsmoothedahandacrossthesmallofherbackandbenttoherear.“Heaskedtomeetyou.”
Lilyhadnoideawhy.AsshelookedintoStone’sface,she’dseenhunger,thekindthatmadebothuncertaintyandexcitementjetthroughherblood.She’dblushedbecausedespitebeingtwenty-three,she’dhadsexwithexactlytwomeninherlife,andneitherhadreallymadeherbreathcatchorherheartrace.Withjustaglance,Stonemadeitclearthatheintendedtoseduceherandgiveherpleasureuntilshescreamed.Inthatmoment,knowingAxelwasinlovewithMysteryandthatshehadtostartlookingforward,notback,she’dmetStone’shotstare.
“Hi,there.”
Evenhishuskyvoicesenttinglesofexcitementracingacrossherskin.Lily’schesttightenedasifshecouldn’tbreatheproperly.
“Hi.”Thewordhadcomeoutbarelyawhisper,buthegaveheranencouragingsmile.
“She’salittleshy,ourSweetPea,”Zebsuppliedwiththesortofwatchfulglareshe’dexpectfromanolderbrother.“Talktoheraboutpopcultureandshe’llrelax.”
Lilyblushedagain,thistimeinembarrassment.Mostmendidn’tcareaboutcelebritycrushesandbreakups.Shelovedkeepingup.Theirlivesseemedsobrightandinteresting.TaylorSwiftdidn’thideintheshadows.JenniferLawrencewasn’tworryingaboutherpast.Theyhadsomuchconfidence,andLilyhopedthatsomedaysomeofthatwouldruboffonher.
“Idon’tknowmuchaboutit,”Stonesaid,thatvoiceofhislikeacaress.“ButIwanttohearabouteverythingthatinterestsyou.”
“Wecantalkaboutsomethingelse.”
“Remember,nosuddenmovesandnothingsexual,”Zebwarnedashebackedaway,hoveringatthedoor.
Shetriednottorollhereyesathisoverprotectivespiel.Thankfully,Stoneignoredhimandapproachedherslowly,toweringsoshehadtocranebackherheadtostudyhishard,chiseledface.
Thenhecuppedhershoulderandshebarelymanagedtobitebackagasp.Hot,sure,electric,histouchwasn’tlikeanythingshe’deverfelt.Zebhadlaidhispalmonthesmallofherbackjustmomentsagoandshe’dfeltnothing.WhydidStoneaffecthersodifferently?
Lilypeeredintohisdarkeyes.Shedidn’thavetoaskifhefeltthepullbetweenthem.Hemadenoattempttohidehisdesiretogethernakedandputhishandsonher.
Wasbeingromanticallyinterestedinsomeonesupposedtofeellikethis?Shereallywouldn’tknow.
Hewalkedheracrosstheroom,toabenchusuallyusedforsubrestraint.Longandsomewhatnarrow,itwasn’tthemostcomfortablebutstilloneofthefewplacesintheroomtosit.
AfterStonehelpedherdown,heperchedbesideher,histhighnearlypressedtohers.Sheexperiencedthatdifficultybreathingagain.Asifherbodywereadiviningrod,allhersensesseemedattunedtohim.Herstomachknottedintoanervousball.
“Youokayhere?”heaskedsoftly.“Doyouneedmetoputmorespacebetweenus?”
Mentally,sheprobablydid.Butsheansweredhiminstinctively.“No.Tellmeaboutyou.”
Heshrugged.“Notmuchtosay.I’vebeenlivinginSouthTexasforawhilebutI’mworkingwithJackColeonatechnicalprojectnow.I’macomputerguy.Isawyouafewweeksago,thenightofThorpe’sbirthday,andIthoughtyouwereoneoftheprettiestwomenI’veeverseen.”
Heatcreptupherfaceagain.Thecurseofhavingafaircomplexion.Shehadtogetcontrolofherreactionsandstartactingmorelikeanormalwomanifsheeverwantedtohaveanormallife.Stonemightnotbeaforeverguy—whoknew?—butmaybetheycouldtrydatingorsomething.
“Irememberseeingyouthatnight,too,”sheadmitted,notquitemeetinghisintense,darkstare.
Hecurledafingerunderherchin.“Lookatme.”
Onceshecomplied,hesmiled.AndLilywasn’tsureshe’deverfeltmoreconnectedtoanotherhumanbeing.Herskinsizzled,herbodytrembled—andshedidn’tevenwanttothinkaboutwhathismeregazedidtohergirlparts.
“Tellmeaboutyou,”hemurmured.
“I’vebeenDominion’sreceptionistforthelastfewyears.”And…what?Shecouldn’ttellthemanherpast.Shehadnoideawhattosayaboutherfutureplansoraspirationssinceshecouldn’tlookaheadknowingCantonmightcatchuptoher.“LikeZebsaid,Ifollowpopculture.Ialsoliketoread.”Sherolledhereyes,triedtopokefunatherself,andnotthinkaboutthefactthatshefeltlikeahighschoolgirlwithherfirstcrush.“I’mshy.”
“You’redoinggreat,”hepraised.“Doyouhaveafavoritesportorhobby?”
“I’mnotsogoodatanythingthatrequiresaball,butIsewalotofmyowndresses.”Shefluffedthefullredskirtofherswingdress;thensherealizedhowmanymendidn’tcareaboutsewing.“Youmustthinkthat’sboring.”
“No.Iwouldn’tbeanygoodatit.”Heshrugged.“ButIfinditinterestingthatyoucanmeasureoutclothandputpiecestogethertomakesomethingtowear.”
“No,youdon’t.”
“Seriously,”hevowed.“It’sprobablylikemetellingyouaboutthewebcodesIunravel.”
Hehadapoint.“Yeah,Idon’tknowhowyoudoit,butitwouldbecooltowatch.”
Stonesmiledwide.“Exactly.So…whatwouldbeaperfectdateforyou?”
“Ihavenoidea.”Tobehonestornot?Lilygnawedonherlip.Ifsheeversawhimagain,shewouldalreadyhavetolieaboutsomanyotherthings.She’drathertellhimthetruthwhereshecould.Ifhethoughtshewasafreak,thenhewasnevergoingtolikeherforheranyway.“I’veneverbeenonone.”
Thattookhimaback.“Never?Baby,whynot?Haveallthemeninyourlifebeenblind?”
Shelaughed.“Ilefthomeyoung,andatfirstIwasjustfiguringouthowtomakeendsmeet.WhenIcametoworkhere,theenvironmentwasalittleintimidatingatfirst,youknow?”
Hegrinned.“IhavetoadmitmyfirsttrekthroughthedoorswasmorethanIbargainedfor.”
“Youdon’t…”HowdidsheaskavirtualstrangerwhoseemedtogiveoffaDomvibeifhe’devertoppedanyone?
“I’mintriguedandI’dbewillingtolookintoit,butsofar,no.”Hetookherhand,histhumbgrazingherfingers.“What’sthedealwithyouandAxel?”
ShesquelchedhergriefthatAxelwasnolongerherprotector.ItconflictedwiththeexcitementshefeltaroundStone.Whichconfusedher.Besides,Axelneededtomoveonwithhislifeandembracethewomanheloved.“We’renottogetheranymore.Andwedidn’treallydate,perse.”
Stonefrownedasifhedidn’tquiteunderstand.Truthfully,herrelationshipwithAxelwouldn’tmakesensetomostpeople.Anditdidn’tmatternow.Hehadhisfuture.MaybeStonecouldbeapartofhersinsomesmallway,evenifonlyinherfantasies.
“Um…Whatelse?Untilafewmonthsago,Ihadacat.Amale.ItookhiminasastraybuthegotcancerandIhadtoputhimdown.InamedhimBongobecausehelikedtobouncearoundthehouselikeadrum,”sheadded,thenshookherhead.“Doyouhaveapet?SorryI’mbabbling.Youmakemenervous.”
“Sorrytohearhedied.”Hesqueezedherhand.“Nopets.AndI’llbehonest.Youmakemealittlenervous,too.”
Lilycouldn’thelpthesmilethatwidenedherlips.“You’rejustsayingthat.”
“No.Here.”Heliftedherhandtohischestandplaceditoverhisracingheart.Thehard,rapidthumpunderherpalmmadeherinsidesjumpwithdelight.“Youfeelthat?”
Shenoddedearnestly.Andasifshecouldn’tcontrolherself,hergazedroppedtohislap.Hisheartwasn’ttheonlythingfillingwithblood.Lilyclosedhereyesandstifledagrin.
“Ido.”Shebitherlipasshewithdrewherpalm.“Myheartisbeatingfast,too.”
Wasthatadmittingtoomuch?Shelookeddownatthehandsshewrunginherlapandrealizedthatherskirthadriddenuponthesideandexposedherblackthighhighs.
LilyyankedtheskimpyfabricdownandlookedupintimetoseeStone’sstaregluedtothesight.“That’sembarrassing.”
Hisfacetightenedasheswallowed.“Notatall,baby.You’resexy.”Hegaveheradeeprumbleofmasculinelaughter.“ForgetIsaidthat.IaskedAxeltosetupthismeetingsoIcouldgettoknowyou,notsoIcouldtalkyououtofyourclothes.Atleastnotyet.”Hewinked.“SoyouworkforThorpe?”
Sheacceptedthesubjectchangebutcouldn’twipethepleasedlittlesmileoffherface.Big,attractiveStonethoughtshewassexy.Hedidn’tseemtocarethatshedidn’tknowwhattosayandfumbledoverherwords.“Ido.Idon’tthinkhereallyneedsareceptionist,andItrytohelpwithinventory,organization…whateverhecan’tgetto.I’vealsopitchedinwiththetasksCallieusedtocomplete.She’shadatoughpregnancyattimes.”Lilysmiledfondly.“Buteverytimeshe’ssickortired,ThorpeandSeanarebothsoattentive,Ican’tdecidewho’smoreoverthetopintakingcareofher.She’shadaterriblepast,soI’mhappyforher.”
“That’sthoughtful.They’reluckytohaveyou.”
“Iliketohelp.Thorpehasgivenmesomuch…”Sheshookherhead.Stonedidn’tcareaboutthat,either.“SoyoudotechnicalthingsforJack?”
Heshrugged.“I’vebeenhelpinghimwithacase.It’sbeencomplicatedbutsuccessful.”
“Jackisgreat.Alltheguyshereare.Thorpeonlygrantsmembershiptopeoplewhohaveareallypositivevibe.HeandtheEdgingtonbrothersaresomeofmyfavoritepeople.”
“Butyouneverdatedanyofthemembers?”
Lilywasn’tsurehowtoanswerthat.Shecamewithalotofbaggage,andevenifthemenofDominiondidn’tpreciselyunderstand,theyknewitwasheavy.Ofcourse,they’dchosenwomenwhocouldgivethemtheirhearts,souls,andbodies.
Becausesheprobablycouldn’t,sheshouldstopwastingStone’stime.
“No.Ishouldgo.”Shestoodandfluffedoutherskirt,thenheldoutherhand.“Ienjoyedmeetingyou.”
“Whyareyouleaving?”Hewrappedhotfingersaroundherwrist.Shecouldhaveescapedifshewantedbutthesecondheputhishandonher,Lilyachedtoeasecloser.“Idroveoverfivehoursjusttomeetyou.Don’tgo.”
Shebitherlip.Theexcitedgirlinsideherwantedtocaveimmediately.Shewasflatteredandshelikedhim,probablymorethanwassmart.Ontheotherhand,she’dneverfeltthiswayaboutamanandhescaredtheheckoutofher.
“Ifnoonetoldyou,I’mnottypical.”
“I’mnot,either.Somaybethatmakesusagoodmatch.Isthereanythingwrongwithseeingifweare?”
Whenheputitlikethat,no.But…“I’maproject.”
Heseemedtomullthatoverashisgriparoundherwristtightenedeversoslightly.“Thattermindicatesyouthinkthere’ssomethingwrongwithyou.Maybethere’sjustsomethingwrongwiththepeopleyou’vebeenwithinthepast.Maybetheysimplyweren’trightforyou.”
“Youthinkyouare?”sheasked,morebreathlessthanshe’dlike.
Heshrugged.“Howdoweknowifwedon’ttry?”
Anothergoodpoint.
“Ittakesalongtimeformetotrust.”Afterthisconfessionandadmittingthatshe’dneverdated,shedidn’twanttogoforthetrifectaandblurtoutthatshewasafraidofsex.Lilywantedtobeatleastsomewhathonestwithhim,butthatwasmorethanshecouldmakeherselfsayjustnow.
“Let’stakeitonedayatatime.I’mattractedtoyou.Ithinkitmustbemutualbecauseyoukeepeatingmeupwiththoseprettyeyes.”
Ohgod.Sheprobablywas.Lilyfeltheatscorchhercheeks.
Whenshetriedtotugfromhisgrasp,heheldfirmbuthisexpressiongentled.“That’snothingtobeembarrassedabout.Ilikeyou.I’mhopingyoucouldlikeme,too.Itdoesn’thavetobemorecomplicatedthanthatrightnow.”
Lilythoughtofahundredobjections,mostlycenteredaroundherinsecurities.Shedidn’twanttoseemlikeaheadcase,andshelikedthewayhemadeherfeelbothbeautifulandadoredwithjustaglance.“Iguessnot.”
Justthen,thelightsintheroomwentblack.Thehumoftheairconditionerceased.Foramoment,herheartstopped.Itwasprobablyparanoia,wonderingeverytimesomethingoutoftheordinaryhappenedifCantonhadfoundher.
“SweetPea?”Stonecalledashisfirmgriponherwristturnedreassuring.Hewoundhisotherarmaroundherandanchoredhishandprotectivelyonherhip.“Youokay,baby?”
“Alittlescaredofthedark.”Shesqueezedhereyesshut,notwantingtorememberwhy.
Stone’svoiceandpresencewasabalm.Surprisingly,insteadoffearingthebigman,shehadthesensethathe’dprotecther,andsheedgedcloser.
“That’sit.Comehere.”Gently,heguidedherdownontohislapandnestledheragainsthischestbeforehewrappedhisbeefyarmsaroundher.“I’msureit’snothing.ButIwon’tletanythinghappentoyou.”
Acrosstheroom,LilyheardZebopeningthedoor.Notasliveroflightenteredtheroomfromthenormallybrighthall.
“Thorpe?”theDungeonMonitorcalledout.
“Thepowerprobablysurgedorsomething.”Stonesoothedherashecaressedherhairandeasedherheadontohisshoulder.“Breathe.I’vegotyou.”
Shealmostfeltsafe.Maybehiswordsorvoicehadcalmedher.Maybeitwasthewayhe’dbroughthercloseashe’dreassuredher.ThisfeltlikebeingwithAxel…butdifferent.Hisnearnessdidn’tmerelycomforther.Forthefirsttime,beingclosetoamanexcitedher,too.Lilyletherselfmeltagainsthim.
Zebapparentlysteppedintothehallbutleftthedooropen.ShecouldhearhimandThorpecallingbacktoeachother.Thebreakerhadtripped.They’dbeabletorestorepowerinaminute.
Problemsolved,Lilyletoutahugesighofreliefanddrankinthemomentoffeelinglikeanormalwomanenjoyingalonetimewithaninterestingguy.
ThenStonecuppedhercheekandledherfacedown,hermouthclosetohisown.Hiswarmbreathfeatheredoverherlips.Shefrozeandfoughttheimpulsetolungeforwardandclosethedistancebetweenthem.
“Idon’tthinkIcanwaitanothersecond,butstopmeifyou’renotreadyformetokissyou,”hewhispered.
Lilydidn’thavethewilltoresisthiminthatmoment.Asafreshmaninhighschool,she’dfirstkissedRickMensellbecausehe’dbeenthecutestboyandeverygirlhadwantedhim.Asagrownwoman,she’dfirstaskedAxeltokissherbecauseshe’dneededtoknowifshecouldbearaman’stouchagain.NeitherguyhadmadeherfeelatenthofthethrillthathavingStoneSutter’smouthhoveringoverhers,teasingherwithhisalmost-kiss,did.
Shedidn’tthinkshecouldspeak,soshetiltedherheadinstead,positioninghermouthperfectlyagainsthis,anddroppedabrushoffingersonhisshoulder.Thatwasalltheencouragementheneeded.
Aheartbeatlater,hesettledhislipsonhers.Hedidn’texperimentorbothertotesttheirfit.Hekissedherasifhealreadyknewhowthoroughlyheintendedtotakehermouthandhowgooditwouldfeel.Foradeliciouseternity,Stonecuppedherjawandheldherexactlywherehewantedher.Shecouldn’tmisinterprethistouch,whichsaidheintendedtotakeeverybitofherthatshe’dsurrender.
Henudgedherlipsapart.Somethingshockinglyalivedasheddownherspine.Adizzyeuphoriafilledherhead.Lilyclenchedherlegstogether,feelinganachetightentherethatcouldonlybedesire.
Withthetenderpressofhisfingersagainstherface,heguidedherashedovedeeperintothekissandslidhistongueagainstherown.She’dkissedAxelthiswaybefore.Butithadnevermadeherfeelantsyandhot,likeshewantedtowritheagainsthim,stripherclothesoff,andbeghimtotouchher.
ShebarelyknewStone.Theyhadnohistory.Whydidsheacheforhimsodesperately?
Suddenly,thelightsflickedon,glintingbehindhereyelids.Lilytriedtoeaseawayandsurveythesituation.Stoneonlyheldfirm,strokingherjawwithhisthumb,andkissedherwithmoreurgency.
Shelethim.Ashepossessedhermouth,theworldandallitsproblemsmeltedaway.Sheforgottobescaredorworrythathewouldwantmorethanshecouldgive.Shedidn’teventhinkaboutthefactthattheywerevirtualstrangers.Instead,shesankagainstthewarmthofhissubstantialbodyandintothefantasyofbeingnormalenoughtointerestamanwhoseemedbothincrediblymasculineandkind.Andgod,hesmelledgood.
Lilygatheredhernerveandslidherhanddownhisshoulder,overthedefinedmusclescoveredinink.Hemusthaveahighthresholdforpain.She’dscreamedandheldinsobsthroughthefirsttwentyminutesofherlonetattoo.
Pushingthatmemoryaway,shefocusedonhiskiss.Onhim.
Shewrappedherhandsaroundthemind-bogglinggirthofhisbicepsandtrembled,pressingcloser.Hegrabbedhertighter,hisfingersslidingdownhernapeashegaveherlipaplayfulnip,pressedakissjustunderherjaw,andsmoothedapalmaroundthecurveofherhip.
Shewantedtoaskhimtopeelhisshirtoffjustsoshecoulddrinkhimin.She’dbetthesightwouldmakeherdaydreamyandtingly.Hecertainlyknewhowtokiss.Withasimplepressofhisfingers,heguidedherheadback,thenshiftedtheangleofthekiss,maneuveringherintoopeningcompletelytohim.Littlebylittle,Lilyfoundherselfwillingtocedehercontrol.
“That’senough.”Zeb’shardvoicefromthedoorwaybroketheircocoon.Thelightshadreturned,illuminatinghisscowl.“Axelpromisedyouameeting,notagropefest.Lethergo.”
Stonestiffenedbutpulledback,lookingintohereyesashepushedoneofherchestnutandfuchsiacurlsfromherface.“Youokay?”
Ahalf-drunksmilewobbledacrosshermouth.“Yeah.”
Sheslidtoherfeet,buthewrappedanarmaroundherasifhedidn’ttrustherlegstoholdherupright.Goodinstinct.Thesecondshetriedtostand,hershakingthighswobbled.Adruglikeweaknessstillpumpedthroughherveins,infectinghermuscles.Andwhenshelookedathim,shecouldhardlycatchherbreath.
Hesentamegawattsmiledownather.“Youlookprettywithyourcheeksflushedandyourlipsswollen.”
Lilyfeltpretty,too.Shefeltlikeawoman,notabrokenresponsibilitysomeonealwayshadtopickupandcarefor.
“Idon’tknowwhatyoudidtomebut…”Shesighed,unabletoputthisfeelingintowords.Itfeltlikethosetimesasagirlshe’dgonetotheparkandputherarmsout,spinningaroundandarounduntilshe’dfallendown,gigglingandhappy.
“SomethingIcan’twaittodoagain,baby.Letmetakeyoutodinner.”
Thatsoberedherupabit.Sheblinked.“I-I’msupposedtobeworking.IcameintoseeAxeltonightbutwhenwedecidedheshouldmoveon,IaskedThorpeifheneededme.Ihaveafewtaskstocomplete.Sorry.”
Stonedidn’tsayanythingforalongminute,justbroughtherclosertohimanddrilleddownintoherwithadarkstarethatmadeherkneesthreatentogiveway.“Howaboutthisweekend?I’lldriveout.Wecaneatandtalk.Orwecanstayhereandtalk.Whatevermakesyoufeelmorecomfortable.”
“I’dlikethat.”Shetriednottolethergiddinessshowtoomuch.Maybehe’devenkissheragain.
“Iwanttoseeyoumore,SweetPea.Tellmewhatwillsetyoumostatease.”
“I’mnotreallysure.ImostlysawAxelhere.”
“Sinceyoutwodidn’tdate.Gotit.”Whenshenoddedheragreement,heslantedaspeculativeglanceherway.“ButhewasyourDom?”
Sheswallowed.WouldthatturnStoneoff?“Andmyprotector.Hehelpedmefeelsafe.”
“Didn’tyousayhejustleftyou?”Hesoundedannoyedonherbehalf.
She’dletAxelgowithaheavyheart,knowingshehadtostopdragginghimdown.“Itwastime.I’mfine.”
Lilyknewshemightbelying.Shewouldn’tpineforAxelasalover.Butshewouldverymuchmissherfriend.
“IshouldbeagoodguyandtellyouIcanwaituntilyou’resure.Butafterthatkiss,Idon’tevenknowifIcanwaitthreedaystoseeyouagain.Idon’tknowifI’llstopthinkingaboutyoubetweennowandthen.”
Shedidn’tthinkshewouldstopthinkingabouthimeitherbuthearinghimsaythatmadeherfeelsocoveted.
“Here.”Lilypluckedoutapenfromthedeeppocketofherfullskirtandreachedforhishand.Shedraggedtheballpointacrosshispalmandwrotehernumberinpurpleink.“Callmeifyoufeellikeit.Okay?”
“Iwill.”AnddespiteZeb’sglare,Stoneleanedinandbrushedalingeringkissonherlips.“BethinkingaboutwhatyouwanttodoSaturdaybecauseIwillcomeforyou.”
Shemerelysmiledhisway.Hegaveheronelastheatedglanceandturned,headingfortheexit.ZebwatchedhimleaveandshutthedoorbehindStonewithashakeofhishead.
“What’swiththedisapproving-brotherbit?”LilyfrownedatZeb,fistsonherhips.“IknowyouandAxelarefriends,butI’mnotcheatingonhimoranything.Wewereneverexclusive.”Axelhadmerelywatchedoverherandkeptawayanymanwhocameontooaggressivelyorclearlyhadabooty-callagenda.
“Thatguy,Sutter?Heisn’tgoodforyou.”Zebscowled,hismouthtwistingunderthatinfamousdarkbeardofhis.
“Whywouldyousaythat?Heseemednice.”
“Hebutteredyouupwithcompliments.”
WasZebsayingshedidn’tdeservethemandhadbeendumbenoughtofallforhislies?“HecameallthewayfromLafayettetoseeme.”
“Andhedamnnearpeeledyourclothesoff,too.Heknowsyouaren’twithAxanymore.Idon’twanthimthinkingthatmeansyou’renotsurroundedbypeoplewhowillstepinifhecrossestheline.”
NowZebwasbeingbeyondoverprotective.Stonewouldhavestoppedwithjustawordfromher.“Whatdoyouthinkhe’ddotome?”
“Withhiskind,youneverknow.ButI’mwatchinghim.I’llmakesureThorpedoes,too.”
Lilyrearedback.“ThisisthefirsttimeI’velikedaguy.Romanticallyliked.Andyou’retryingtoscaremeawayfromhim?”
Heshrugged.“You’rebetteroffwithoutthatdude.Sincehejustcamefromthebighouse,Iassumethatmeansheplaysinthebigleagues.Idon’tthinkyou’rereadyforthat.”
“Thebighouse?”Hecouldn’thavemeantwhatLilythoughthehad.
“Yeah.He’safuckingfelonfreshoutofprison.Someoftheguysaroundheremightpullapranknowandthenorpartyalittleharderthantheyshould,butnoonebreakslaws.Iheardhebeattheshitoutofsomeguywhilehewasawayandgotputinsolitaryforamonth.He’sbadnews.”
Stonewasanex-con?Acriminal?
Lilygaped,tryingtoreconcilethemanshe’djustkissed,theonewho’dmadeherfeelspecial,withaviolentthugwho’dspenttimebehindbars.
Cantonwastheworstsortofoffender.He’djustbeensmartenoughnevertobeconvicted.Andhesurroundedhimselfwiththeviolentgangbangerswholikedasideofrapewiththeirmurder.WasZebsayingStonewasthesame?
Herentirebodyicedover.Shestumbled,fallingontothebench.
Inherpocket,herphonebegantovibrate.Lilypulleditfreeandglancedatthedisplay.Anumbershedidn’trecognize,areacode337.Lafayette.Mosteveryonewholivedthereandwouldcallhershe’dprogrammedintohercontactlistsotheirnamewouldpopuponherdisplay.Thiswasjustanumber,andherspinetingled,tellingherthatStonewasalreadyringing.
Acriminal.Afelon.Amanwho,underthatsmilingfacadeandpolitedemeanor,mightbecapableofterrible,heinousactsthatwouldgivehernightmaresforanotherhalfdozenyearstocome.
Tremblingandholdinginacry,shedeclinedhiscall.
ChapterThree
MISTY?”Thorpestoodinthedoorwaylaterthatmorning,yankingherfromthebittersweetmemoriesofheronemeetingwithStoneandbringingherbacktothepresent.
Whensheheardthenamethatithadbecomealmostsecondnaturetoanswerto,shespunaround.Yearsago,Lilyhadpickeditbecausethat’swhatshe’dcalledhercatandshe’dhopedshewouldremembertoanswertosomethingfamiliar.
Thorpelookedeveryinchtheimposingauthorityfigureinaperfectlytailorednavysuit,withawell-groomeddarkbeardframinghishardjaw,andgrayeyesthatsaweverything.Fromthebeginning,LilyhadalmostregardedThorpeasafatherfigure.Andtheexpressiononhisfacenowtoldherthathehadsomethingserioustosay.
Shetensed.“Yes,Sir.”
Heraisedabrowathersuddenformalitybutdidn’totherwisementionit.Hesimplyshutthedoorbehindhimandenteredtheplayroom.“Calliesaysyouhaven’tbeensleepingathome?”
SheshouldhaveguessedthatherconcernedfriendwouldsaysomethingtoherDomandLily’sboss.“I’msureitwillpass.I’msorryfornappingonthejob.”
Unlessshesawthatguywhoseemedtobefollowingheragainoranythingelsesuspicious.Ifthathappened,sheprobablywouldn’tclosehereyesforaweek.ShewouldalsoneedtodisappearfromDallas.Bettersafethandead.
Thorpesighedashecamecloser.“I’mnotangrythatyouslept,SweetPea.I’mworriedaboutthereasonsyou’renotsleepinginthefirstplace.Isthereanythingyouwanttotalkabout?”
AndpotentiallybringtheviolentwrathofTimothyCantondownonhishead?“No.”
Shecouldprobablytellhimthatshefearedshe’dbeenfollowed,butthenshe’dhavetotellhimwhythatpossibilityterrifiedher.Andthey’dberightbacktotalkingaboutTimothyCanton.Besides,she’dboughtagunthismorning.Inanhourshe’dbestartingthegun-safetyclassshe’dregisteredfor.Shedamnwellintendedtobecomeself-sufficient.
“You’vestruggledsinceAxelpairedoffwithMystery.Hedidn’twanttoleaveyouforthislong.WasIwrongtoencouragehimtospendtimeawaywithhisfiancée?”
“Notatall.I’mnolongerhisresponsibility.”
“No,”heagreed.“You’reminenow,andI’vedoneapoorjobofunderstandingyourneeds.Talktome.”
Shewasnotachildandshouldn’tneedhisguidance.Hedidn’thavethetimeorenergyforher.Mostofall,shedidn’twanttospillhergutstosomeonewhowouldn’tbeapermanentfixtureinherlife.ThepartthatinvolvedCantonwastoodangerous.Therestwassimplytoopainful.
“Thorpe,Sir…Iappreciateyourhelpbutit’sjustapatchofinsomnia.”
“Sotheperpetuallylongface,theavoidingoutingswiththeothersattheclub,theepisodewiththehalfbottleofvodkalastweek…Thatwasallyoubeingperfectlyhappyandwell-adjusted?”
Lilyhatedthatevenwhenshethoughtshe’dslippedsomethingpastThorpe,hestillsaw.Axelhadaskedhimtowatchoverherbecausesometimesshefeltoverwhelmed.Andgodknewshe’dmadesometerribledecisionsinthepast.
Shesighed.“I’malittlelonelybutotherwisefine.IwantAxeltobehappy.I’vemissedhimbuthe’sbetteroff,andI’mthrilledhe’sfoundsomeone.”
“Soyou’relonely?”Thorpeappearedtomullthatover.
Slowly,shenodded.Whydidshefeelasifshe’djustwalkedintoatrap?
“Sinceyou’veeschewedallthegirltimeCalliehastriedtotalkyouintothissummer,I’mgoingtoguessit’snotfemalecompanionshipyou’remissing.Beforehisdeparture,Axelaskedmetoberesponsibleforyourphysicalsafetyandemotionalwelfare.”
Oh,thiscouldn’tbegood.“Youdon’thavetotakecareofme.I’magrownwoman.”
“ButAxelprovidedyouwithguidanceandhelpedyououtwithwhateveryouneeded.That’swhatyou’vebeenmissingthissummer.SoI’vebeenthinkingtheselastfewdaysaboutanewprotectorforyou,onewhocanmentoryouanddevotefarmoretimetoyouthanI’mable.”
Herheartfroze.Lilywasn’tsurehowshefeltaboutthatwhenshecouldn’tbehonestwithhimaboutvirtuallyanything…andshecouldn’texorciseStoneSutterfromherthoughts.He’dbeenthecauseofhersummermalaise.Sure,shemissedAxel…butshe’dneverstoppedthinkingaboutthatkissStonehadgivenherorwonderingwhatcouldhavebeenbetweenthemifsheweren’tsoafraidofhisviolentpast.
Someonenewmightbegoodforherbut…“Idon’tknowifI’mreadyforthat.”
MaybeshecouldplaythefragilecardandputThorpeoff.Butforhowlong?Andhowcouldshemoveonwithherlifeifshedidn’tchangeanythinginit?SheandAxelhadbothneededtheirtimetogethertobeoverfordifferentreasons.Granted,shewasn’tdoingwellalone.Whenshemadeemotionaldecisions,theyusuallyturnedouttheworst.MaybeThorpewasrightandsheneededadistractionsoshecouldfinallypurgeStonefromheryearnings.
“Ithinkyouare.Iknowamanwhocouldbegoodforyou.Whydon’tyoumeethim,spendtimewithhim?Maybeyoucouldtryopeningup.Hemightmakeyouhappy.Ifnot…”Heshrugged.“We’llreevaluate.Butgivehimacoupleweeksandgenuinelytrybeforeyouwalkaway.”
Lilysighed.Thorpe’sinterferencemadeherbristle,buthe—andAxel—onlywantedwhatwasbestforher.Andshehadbeendesperatelylonely,evenbeforehisdeparture.IfsheconsideredThorpe’spropositionlikeablinddate,itmightwork.Ifitdidn’t,she’dhaveafunnystorytotell.“Allright.I’lltry.”
“Good.Remember,hecanonlyhelpyouasmuchasyoulethim.”
EverywordThorpesaidwastrue.Axelhadproventhat.Hehadbeenextremelypatientanddraggedinformationoutofherovertime.Asshe’dcometotrusthim,hersenseofsecurityhadgrown.Overandover,he’dprovenhimselftobesolid.SomeofhereveningswithAxelhadbeenherhappiest,eveniftheyhadn’tbeenromanticandshehadn’tbeenemotionallyfulfilled.She’dfeltsafe.ToLily,thatmeanttheworld.
Thoughshewasn’tsureshewantedanewmentorandprotector,sheprobablyneededone.
“You’reright,Sir.”ShestaredatthedecorativeconcretebeneathherfeetandwonderedwhoThorpethoughtwouldbegoodforher.Zeb?Thatnewguywhosenameshecouldn’tremember?Someoneelseentirely?
Thorpeheldouthishand.“Comewithme.”
Now?Sheblinkedup.ResolutionfirmedThorpe’sfeatures.Hewasn’tthesorttoputoffuntiltomorrowwhathecouldaccomplishtoday.Sheshouldhaverealizedthatifhe’dbotheredwithaspeech,hewasreadytoexecutehisplan.
Withawrysmile,Lilyslidherpalmintohisandsavoredthemomentsofcomfort.Beingwiththebigclubownerreallydidfeellikehavingafatherfigureshecouldtrust.Sinceherowndadhadrunoutwhenshewasfour,itwasnice.
Together,theywalkeddownthehalltoThorpe’soffice.Inside,shespottedSeanleaningagainstthewallbesideThorpe’semptyleather“throne”onthefarsideoftheroom.Inachairfacingthedesk,shesawanothermanfromtheback,onewithbuzzeddarkhairandstrong,wideshoulders.
Hebegantospinaroundinhischair.Combatbootsandlonglegsencasedinfadedjeanscameintoviewfirst.AsolidtorsowrappedinagrayT-shirtappeared,ripplingwitheverymove.Inkedbicepscaughthergaze,alongwithveinedforearmsandbighands.Heradiatedformidablepower.
Withoutevenseeinghisface,Lilyknewexactlywho’dcome.
StoneSutter.
Hisnearnesssentahotflushrushingfromhertoestohercheeks.
ShejerkedastunnedglanceupatThorpeandyankedherhandaway.Themanalmostnevermademistakes,becauseheconsideredeverythingcarefullybeforeheacted.Buthecouldn’tpossiblyhavethoughtthisthrough.Ifhehad,hewouldneverhavepairedheroffwithafelonwhomadenosecretofthefactthathewantedinsideherpanties.
“No.”Sheshookherhead.
Stoneswiveledtofaceher,andtheireyesmetforanelectricmoment.Shefeltdizzyandoverwhelmed.Herkneesweakened.Evenbeingthisclosetohimmessedwithherhead.
Thorpe’sfacehardened.“Whynot?”
Ameresixfeetaway,Stonestood,hisstarefusedtoher.Henoddedingreeting.“SweetPea.”
Shedidn’tacknowledgehim,justbackedaway,unabletotearhergazefree.“Ican’t.”
Felonsweren’tgoodguys.Theyrapedandmurderedandlaughedastheydisposedofagirl’sbodylikethecontentsofthekitchengarbage.
“Nottwominutesago,youpromisedthatyouwouldtry,”Thorperemindedherwitharaisedbrow.“Nowthatyouknowwho’sagreedtotakeyouinhand,you’rerefusing?Explain.”
“Wedon’tsuit.”Forsomanyreasons.Sheneededafriendwhowouldbebyhersideandprovideawillingearwhenneeded,notamanwhocomplicatedeverything.Stone’spastaside,themanlitupeverycellinherbodyinawayshedidn’tknowhowtoprocessorfight.
“Thatwasn’ttheimpressionIgotwhenIkissedyou.”Stoneprowledcloser.
Lilycouldn’tdecideifshewantedtoblushfuriouslyorpunchhim.Instead,sheignoredhimaltogetherandsentanimploringglancetoSeanbeforewhirlingbacktoThorpe.“Hescaresme.”
“Why?”Stoneasked.“DidIdomorethankissyouwhenwemet?”
Lilypressedherlipstogether.Thorpedidn’tobjecttoStone’slineofquestioning,merelylookedatherasifhewasdamninterestedinheranswer,too.
“No,”sheadmitted.
“DidIforceyoutokissme?”
“No.ButI—”
“Feltlikeawomanwhenyouwerewithmeandwantedmore,whichmadeyourunscared?”hechallenged.“LietomeandtellmeI’mwrong.”
Avagueshameslicedthroughhercomposure.Whilehewasn’tfaroffthemark,itwasn’tthewholetruth.Hecouldn’tpossiblyunderstandthat.
“CanItalktoyouforamomentalone?”sheaskedThorpe.
Ifshecouldexplainhiscriminalpast,surelyThorpewouldunderstand.
Hedidn’tsayanythingatfirst,merelyglancedatherandStone,thenpeeredovertoSeaninsilentquestion.Callie’sothermanapparentlyansweredinthatwordlessdudelanguageLilycouldn’tgrasp.
“No,”Thorpefinallysaid.“Yousworeearlierthatyou’dgivesomeonenewacoupleofweeks.Youhaven’tevengivenhimacoupleofminutes.”
Shecouldn’tdenythatbut…“Please.Don’t.”
WasitpossiblehealreadyknewStone’spast?Itwasn’tlikeThorpenottoperformhisduediligence.Lilysighed.Maybeshewasoverreacting.OrmaybeZebhadbeenmistaken.
MaybesheshouldgiveStoneanothertry.
“Twoquestions.That’sallIwanttoaskyou,”shepromised.
Thorpeshookhishead.“Askhimfirst.Ifyoudon’tgetsatisfactoryanswers,thenI’llseeyou.Butdon’tcometomeifyou’renottrying.I’mgivingyoutoughlovebecauseIcare.”
Heheadedforhisofficedoor.
Seanfollowed,pausingjustbeforehecrossedthethreshold.“Ifyouwantmoreinlife,youhavetotakechances,Misty.Happinessisn’teasyanditdoesn’tfallinyourlap.Youhavetograbit,takeitdown,andmakeityours.It’stimeyoudidthat.”
Lilydidn’thavefirsthandknowledgebutshesuspectedtheywereright,whichonlymadeStone’spresencemoreconfusing.Maybehewouldbethebestthingeverforher.Itwasalsopossiblehecouldfinallybetheonewhoputhersixfeetunder.
Theybothturnedtheirbacksonher,andStonetrailedthemen,shuttingthedoorbehindthem,cuttingherofffromherfriendsandonlypossibleescaperoute.
Sheandtheonlymanshe’deveractuallydesiredwerealone.
Toughlovewasscary.
Herheartthundered.Evenherbreathtrembledinandoutofherlungs.“Letmeout.”
“Notuntilyouexplainwhyyou’vebeendodgingmeforthreemonths.Ikissedyouandaskedyouonadate.Youagreed.Tenminuteslater,youactedasifIwasn’tevenonthesameplanet.Whathappened?”Heglared,anditfeltliketheworstofAxel’sdispleasurebutwithfarmorecensureandimpact.
“You’renotmyDom.You’renotevenaDomatall,sodon’tusethatexpressiononme.”
“See,that’swhereyou’rewrong,baby.Forthelastthreemonths,I’vebeentrainingwithJackColeandLoganEdgington.Yeah,yourfriends.TheyboththinkI’dbegoodforyou.ThorpeandSeanobviouslydoaswell,whichiswhythey’veaskedmetowatchoveryou,giveyoufriendship,support,advice,and…whateverelseyouneed.Knowingallthat,areyoureallygoingtokeepfightingthepullbetweenus?Canyoutrulysayyou’rehappywiththestatusquo?”
No,butshedidn’tneedhisquestionsconfusingherrightnow.Mayaswellgoforthetruth,getitoutintheopen,andcallhimonit.Ifhedidsomethingviolent,hopefullyThorpeandSeanweren’ttoofarawaytohearherscream.“I’mnottooafraidofwhateverpullyouthinkwehave.It’swhyIletyoukissme.ThenIfoundoutaboutyourpast.Iknowyoucamefromprison.”
Understandinglithisface.“You’reright.Let’stalkaboutit.”
“I’veseenenoughviolencetolastmealifetime.Idon’tneedsomeonewholivesbyit.”
“I’mnotaviolentman,unlessprovoked.”Hecockedhishead.“YouhavenoideawhyIwenttoprison,doyou?”
“You’reafelon.Youbeatthecrapoutofsomeonesobadlytheygaveyousolitaryconfinement.”
“That’strue.”
Hedidn’teventrytodenyit.Lilywasshocked.
“Butyou’vealsogotsomeveryselectiveinformation.Iwentdownforacomputer-relatedcrime.Iplayedacollegeprankonanassholewho’dstolenmoneyfrommywidowedgrandmotherandbraggedaboutit.So,withthehelpofacoupleoffriends,Isetupane-mailscamuntilhecoughedupthesameamountofmoneyhe’dtaken.ThenIreturnedittoher.”
“Thatdoesn’tsoundlikeafelony,”sheaccusedwithnarrowedeyes.
“Itwasn’tuntilthebuddieswhohelpedmesetuptheschemeandIalldecideditmightbeaneasywaytomakesomecashandgetoutfromunderourstudentloans.Oneofmyfratbrothersworkedatabankandfiguredouthowtogettheaccountnumbersande-mailaddressesofmultimillionaires,aswellasopentemporaryaccounts.Iwasthetechnicalguywhocreatedthefalsemessagestobilkthemoutofmoney,interceptedthefundsastheywerebeingtransferred,anddivertedthemtotemporaryaccounts.Thenanotherpalfiguredouthowtosiphonthefundsoutandturnthemintoclean,liquidcashthroughsomeofhisconnections.Collectively,weneededtoraiseabouthalfamilliondollarstobedebt-free,whichwedidbythestartofoursenioryear.Wesuccessfullylaunderedmoneyandweresettograduatewithoutowinganyoneanything.Butwegotgreedyanddecidedtopullonemorecycletostartourfutureswithacushion.”Heshrugged.“I’mnotproudofwhatIdid.MyonlydefenseisthatIwasyoungandstupidandentitled.Ipaidforit.Ididtwenty-twomonthsofhardtime.Ilearnedmylesson.AsfortheguyIbeattheshitoutof?Thatwaspurelyformypleasure.Hewasachildpornographer.”
Lilyblinkedathisexplanation.Ifthatwasalltrue…Shedidn’tknowhowtofeel.Hereallywasn’tviolent?Hewasn’tlikeCanton?
“Iwouldhavebeattheshitoutofthechildpornographer,too.”Thewordsslippedfromherlips.
Hesmiledandletoutabreath,relaxingabit.“Iwouldneverhurtyou.”
Thosewordsraisedherredflags.Wherehadsheheardthatbefore?Oh,yeah.Canton.AndmaybeshewasbeingtoosuspiciousbythrowingStoneinthesamerealmashertormentorfromherteenageyears.Ontheotherhand,ifshe’dbeenmorecautioussevenyearsago,hermomandbrother,Brady,wouldstillbealive.SowouldErin.Beingtootrustingoncehadcosthereverything.
ShehadnowayofcorroboratingStone’sstorywithouttalkingtoThorpe.AnddidheknowanythingbeyondwhatStonehadtoldhim?
Ontheotherhand,wouldAxelhavecondonedtheirinitialmeetingbackinMayifhe’dthoughtforaninstantthatStonewouldhurther?
Never.Atleasthewouldn’thaveifhe’dknownbetter…
Damnit,shewasconfusingherself.Shedidn’treallylikemakingsnapdecisionswithouttimetothinkthingsthrough.Shelikedtodoodleanddoyogatosortthroughherthoughtsandfeelingsbeforesheacted.Shedidnotdoherbestruminatingwhenshewasbeingpressuredandasix-foot-plusmountainofmanstaredatherasifheexpectedaresponse.
“Ineedtogo.IhaveanappointmentIcan’tmiss.”Itwasn’talie…justnotthewholetruth.
“We’renotdonetalking.”Hesidledcloser.“GivemeachancetoproveI’mexactlywhoandwhatIsay.LetmeshowyouthatIhaveyourbestinterestsatheart.”
Evenifhewas“only”athief,thatdidn’tmakehimnecessarilysafe.Shefearedthat,ifshelethim,hecouldstealherheart.
Butwhatifshewerelettingthebestthingthateverhappenedtoherpassherby?
Lilybitherlip.“HowaboutifIpromisetocallyoutonightwhenI’mdonewithmyappointment?”
Heeasedcloserstill,nowdisconcertinglyclose,andbrushedacurlfromherface.Eventhatlightcaressmadehertingle.“I’dratherbewaitingherewhenyougetback.Weneedtotalkthisout,baby.”
Bythen,shemighthavespokentoThorpeandheardsomethingthatwouldgiveherpeaceofmind.Didn’tsheoweittoeveryonewho’dbeentryingtohelpherforyearstoatleasttryanewpath?
Shegrimaced.“Ifyouwantwhat’sbestforme,whyareyourushingme?”
“BecauseIknowwhat’sbetweenusisn’tsomethingyoufindeveryday.TheattractionIfeelforyouisnotlikeanythingI’veeverexperienced.Ilikeyou.You’resweetandsexy.Iknowyoucalledyourselfaproject.Ilikeachallenge.We’lltakeanythingphysicalasslowasyouwant,butIwon’tacceptyourefusingtotalktome.Ifitmakesyoufeelsafer,we’llonlyseeoneanotherhere.Butwewillgettoknoweachother.Youwilldoyourbesttoopenuptome.”
“Allright.”Lilycouldn’teffectivelyarguewhenhemadesomereallygoodpoints.“WhenIcomeback,we’lltalk.”
Heletoutanotherbreathhe’dbeenholding.“Tellmeaboutyourappointment.”
Shethoughtaboutlyingbutrealizedshe’dalreadytoldThorpethetruth.Iftheycomparednotesanddiscoveredshewasalreadybeingdishonest,itwouldn’tgowell.“Gun-safetyclass.”
“Whendidyoubuyagun?”
“Thismorning.”
Hiseyesnarrowed.“Why?”
“Agirlcanneverbetoocareful,”shesaidflippantlybecausethetruthwastoodangerousforhimandeveryoneelse.
“Whydon’tIgowithyou?”hesuggested.
Lilydidn’tthinkshecouldsuccessfullyfireagunatatargetfiftyyardsawaywithhimbreathingdownherneck.“YoupromisedwewouldonlyseeeachotherhereatDominionsoIwouldfeelsafe.”
Hegnashedhisteeth,clearlynotthrilledthatshe’dusedhisownlogicagainsthim.“Atleastletmewalkyoutoyourcar.”
Eventhoughbeingnearhimmadehernervous,shehadnogracefulwaytorefuse,soshenodded.
WhenStoneopenedtheofficedoor,Lilyhadtobrushpasthim.Shecouldn’tbringherselftomeethisgaze.Herstomachknottedassheallbutdasheddownthehall.Shefelthimrightbehindher,hoveringandpossessive.Desirepouredoffhim,burningherskin,makingherbodytrembleandherbreathcatch.
Somehow,shehadtoputdistancebetweenthem.Otherwise,shefearedhewouldrattleherenoughtoturnherupsidedownandinsideout.Then,infiveminutesflat,shemightbeonherback,legsspread,anddesperatelyinfatuatedwithsomeonewaymoreunderhandedandworldlythanshewouldeverbe.
Lilyhightailedittotheparkinglot,blanketedbytheworstoftheAugustheat,andsprintedforherlittleyellowVolkswagen.Whenshenearedthedriver’s-sidedoor,sheclickedthefobtounlockitandpreparedtoduckinside.
Hisvoicestoppedherwhereshestood.“Whattimewillyoubeback?”
Lilyclosedhereyes,overwhelmedbyanotherwaveofuncertainty.Whenwouldshestopdistrustingpeopleandfigureouthowtoembracesomethingthatlookedlikeafuture?“Istilldon’tthinkthisisagoodidea.”
Stonestalkedtowardher,thegentleconcernonhisfacenearlybucklingherknees.“Wediscussedthis.Iwon’teverforceyoutodoanythingbuttalktome.I’llalwayshopeyouwanttogivememore,butIintendtogetinsideyourheadandgiveyouwhatyouneed.”
Damnit,hisdeepvoicedidsomethingtoher.Sheshouldn’twanthim.Toodangerous.Sheshouldn’tgettangledupwithhim.Tooproblematic.
“Ican’teventellyouhowmuchIthinkyou’llbehurtingme.”
Thosedarkeyesofhisseemedtotakeherapartwithoutaword.Beforeshecouldstophim,hebrushedhisthumboverherbottomlip.“Ican’teventellyouhowmuchIthinkyou’rewrong.”
Forawildmoment,herheartstopped,thenbegandrumminginafrenziedbeat.Thefluttery,femininepartofherwantedtothrowherarmsaroundhim,rubupagainsthim,andtakethepassionhesoobviouslyburnedtogiveher.Butasmuchashemadeheracheinplacesshetriedtoignore,shefearedwantinghim.Evenifhewasn’tacriminalintheviolentsenseoftheword,shewouldn’tknowwhattodowithamanlikeStoneSutter.
“I’veexplainedmypast,”hewenton.“Youdidn’tseemopposedtospendingtimewithmewhenAxelarrangedourintroductionafewmonthsback.What’schanged?”
Maybeshejustneededtogivehimabitofhonestytomakehimleave.
“Ithinkyou’retoomuchformetohandle.”Lilyjerkedawayandwrenchedhercardooropen.Sheleanedintotossherpurseonthepassenger’sseatandhopinside.
Sheopenedhermouthtosaymore,butabouquetofflowersonthedriver’sseatstoppedhercold.Thefamiliar,pungentscentofitsblossomsoverpoweredhernostrils.
Everylastbloomwassomesortoflily.
Asifshe’dseenasnakecoiledontheseat,shegaspedandjumpedback,heartpounding.ShesentaterrifiedstareStone’sway.“Didyouleavethese?”
Thatwouldbethesimplestexplanation,theonethatwouldn’tfreakheroutsomuch.Whetherhehadcomeheretotakeherunderhiswingorsimplytosweet-talkherintobed,maybehe’dbroughtthisbouquettoeasehisway.
Buttheflowersmostassociatedwithfunerals?Theflowersforwhichshewasactuallynamed?
Hepeekedinsidethevehicleandpluckedatthecolorfularrangementwrappedinplastic.Hisexpressionchanged,andhelookedreadytobeatthehelloutofsomeone.“No.Doyouhaveanothermaninyourlife?”
“Idon’thaveanymaninmylife.”
“That’snolongertrue.”Stonepulledherintohisarms.“Whowouldleaveyouamessagethathewantstoburythepast?”
Whentheirbodiesmadecontact,Lilyrealizedshetrembledfromheadtotoe.Asafraidasshe’dbeenofStonejustminutesago,nowhemadeherfeelinfinitelysafer.Butsheforcedherselftopullawayandtriedtotampdownthepanic.Shehadtothinklogically.Whoeverhadbrokenintohercartoleavetheflowershaddonesointhepastfewhours.Hadthatpersonbeentheonewatchingherlately?
“Whatdidyousay?”sheasked.
Heheldalittlecardbetweentwofingers.Inneatblackpen,someonehadwrittenLET’SBURYTHEPASTFORGOOD.
Lilyslappedahandoverhermouth.Thenotehadn’tbeensigned,buttheonlypersonshesharedaterriblepastwithwasakiller,andhewasn’tthesorttoextendanolivebranch.Noamountoftimewouldchangethefactthathisdefinitionofburyingthepastwouldbetoputherinthecold,hardground.
Ohgod,TimothyCantonhadfoundher.
Whatifheoroneofhishiredgoonshadbeenwatchingherlately,waitingforthechancetooffher?
“I-Idon’twanttobelate.Ineedtoleave,”shetoldStone.
Butwhereshouldshego?Tohergun-safetyclass?Or,betteryet,thefreewayheadingeastbound?Ifshedroveallafternoonandthroughthenight,shecouldbemorethanhalfwaytoFlorida.AccordingtoherInternetsearches,theKeyswereagoodplacetodisappear.
“Talktome.”Stoneburstinonherthoughts.“You’reobviouslyafraidofsomething.”
Somanythings,itwouldprobablymakehimlaugh.
“I’mfine,”Lilylied.Yes,hemightprotectherfromherpast—foraprice—butwhowouldprotectherfromhim?Evenifhemeanthernoharm,amanascapableandmasculineasStonewouldn’twantawomanwhojumpedateveryshadowandwasn’tgoodinbed.Besides,sherefusedtoputhim—oranyone—indangeragain.
Shemanagedtofumblehalfwayintothelittlecarandsetherpursedown.Thecloyingodoroftheflowersmadeherstomachheave.Itremindedherofeverythingshe’dlostandwouldneverhaveagain.Itunderscoredthefactthatsomeonewantedtokillher.
Stonegrabbedherbythewaistandpulledherout,turninghertofacehim.“You’renotfine,andlyingtomedoesn’thelpeitherofus.You’reafraidoftheflowers.Why?Whosentthem?”
“Youhavetoletmego.”
Hisfacedarkened.“MaybeAxelleavingmadeyoubelievethatyou’realoneoryouhavenoonetoturnto,butI’mhere.Ifyou’llexplainwhytheflowersscareyou,I’llfixit.”
God,ifonlyitwerethateasy.Shewouldhavelaughedifsheweren’tsoterrified.“Youcan’t.”
“Tryme.”Thatdeepvoicesoundedsoserious,grave.
“Sorry.”
Lilybrokefreeandtriedtodashintohercaragain.Heslammedthedoorandstoodsquarelyinherpath,obviouslynotintendingtoletherleave.
Shegrippedherkeystighter.“I’vegottogoorI’llmissmyappointment.”
“Perfect.Thenyou’llhavetimetoexplainwhat’sfrighteningyouenoughtomakeyoushake.”
Whycouldn’thebelikeeveryothermanandignoreher?“Don’tworryaboutme.”
Stonesnorted.“Ifyouthinkthat’spossible,youdon’tknowmeverywell.Butwe’llfixthat.”
No,theywouldn’t.Lilycouldn’tlivewithherselfifStonebecameanotheroneofTimothy’svictimsbecauseofher.ItwouldhurteverybitasbadifheturnedouttobeoneofCanton’sgoonscometodoherin.Ohgod.Coulditbeacoincidencethatheandtheflowershadappearedwithinafewminutesofeachother?
God,shedidn’tknowwhattothink.
Stonecrossedhisarmsoverhischestandraisedachallengingbrow.ThestareofadispleasedDom.
“Getoutofmyway,”sheinsisted.
“Nothappening.”
“Ifyou’retooarroganttoheartheword‘no,’that’syourproblem.”Lilyturnedherbackonhim,lockingthecarwithapressofabutton.Shedartedaroundthefarsideofthevehicleandacrossthenearlyemptyparkinglot,haulingasstowardDominion.
She’dprobablyneverseehimagain,andwhilethatdistressedherwaymorethanitshould,separatingnowwouldbebetterforthemboth,especiallyifhemeantherharm.Evenifhedidn’t,he’dbeallright.Eventually,he’dpairoffwithanotherwoman.Butthatwasbetterforhim,too.AndLilywouldhavesomepeaceofmindthatherheartwouldremainintact.
WhenshereachedDominion’sdoor,sheusedherkeycardtoopenthelockandrushedinside,slammingthedoorbehindher.Thorpestoodtherewithawatchfulglower.
“Whatwasthatabout?”Hefrownedherway.
“Cansomeonefillinformeforafewdays?I’mtakingavacation,”Lilylied.
Oncesheknewherfewjobresponsibilitieswerefulfilled,shecouldbegoneinlessthananhour.Shedidn’thavemuchtopackbackatherlittleapartment,justherclothesandafewtreasuredmementos.Thenshe’dstartalloveragain.Newidentity,newplace,newfaces.
Thorpescowled.“Notifwhatyou’resayingisthatyou’dliketoavoidtheprotectorI’vechosenforyouwithoutgivinghimatry.”
Arattlingatthedoorstartledher.ItcouldonlybeStone.
WhenThorpereachedforthehandletolethimin,sheshookherheadfrantically.“Don’topenit.Stonescaresme.”
“Anyparticularreason?”
“Heknowswhy.”Mostly.Kindof.Enoughtokeepthembusyhashingitoutwhileshedisappeared.
Theimposingowneroftheclubstaredatherwithshrewdeyes.“WaitinAxel’sroom.I’lltalktohim.IfI’msatisfiedwithhisexplanation,I’llstandrightbesideyouuntilyoutwoworkitout.”
Notonyourlife.“Allright.”
NowthatCantonknewwheresheworked,Lilycouldn’tputanyofherfriendsatDominionatrisk,especiallynotThorpe,Sean,andCallie.Theywereexpectingababyinafewmonths.Shewouldjustdieifanythinghappenedtothem.Shedidn’twanttolietoThorpe,butifshedidn’the’donlyinsistonsolvingherproblem.
AsLilyheadeddownthehall,sheheardThorpeopenthedoortoStone.Theclubownerspoke.Stone’svoicerumbledinreturn.Theywerebothstraightshooters.Itwouldn’ttakethemlongtocomparenotes.IfStonetrulysoughttohelpher,thenhe,likeThorpe,wouldbeconcernedandwantanswers.
Lilyintendedtobegonebythen.
Shecrepttowardthebackdoorandletherselfout.Thehumidafternoonnearlysmotheredherwithheatasshecreptaroundthebuildingandsprintedforhercar.She’dgiveherselffiveminutesatherapartmenttogatherupwhatshecouldandhopethatdecisionwasn’tfatal.Ifitwas…well,she’dmorethanearnedherdeathsentence.Ifshemanagedtomakeitoutalive,she’dhavetolearntostartalloveragain,morealonethanever.
ChapterFour
WHATthefuckisgoingon?”Thorpecrossedhisarmsoverhiswidechest.“SweetPeaseemedmoreangryandnervousthanscaredwhenIleftherinmyofficewithyou.Nowshelooksterrified.”
“Ithinkwecanguesswhatthismeans.”Stonedidn’thavetimeforTwentyQuestions.Heheldupthecardhe’dfishedoutofthebouquet.“Andexactlywhowouldleaveflowersinhercar.Notjustanyflowers,lilies.Shefoundthemandherentiredemeanorchanged.Sheseemsbeyondscaredandshewon’tletmehelpher.”
Thorpeglancedattheoblongwhitecard.“Soyoudidn’tleavethem?”
Stoneshookhishead.“Andnoonebesidesyou,me,Sean,Jack,andtheEdgingtonbrothersknowherrealidentity?”
“Noone.IhavenoideahowCantonsuddenlyfoundher.Wehavetomovefastandgetherintohiding.Damnit,I’drathersendherwithyou,butshedoesn’tknowyou,”Thorpepointedout.“Sheobviouslydoesn’ttrustyouandyourpast.”
Stonestifledhisdisappointmentandheldinacurse.Somehow,hehadtogetpastherfears.
LilyTaylorhadbeendealtsometoughbreaksinlifeandsheneededhelp.Hecouldhelpher.Shedefinitelypressedallhisbuttonsasafemale.Withpetitecurves,shelookedlikeawetdreamofapinupgirl.Herswingdresses,fishnets,andstilettosneverfailedtomakehimhard.Today,she’dwornherbangsinasofttwistawayfromherdelicateface.She’dchangedherhaircolor,andnowlongplatinumringletsbounceddownherback,thesidesheldtogetherathercrownwithabrightredbowthatmatchedherlushmouth.
“That’swhythenexttwoweeksarecritical.”Forbothherandme.“Youhavetoletmewatchoverher.Icankeephersafeandconvincehertotestify.”
Thorpescowledlikeadisapprovingfather.“No.Untilsheacceptsyou,she’smyresponsibility.I’llhandleit.”
“She’skeptallthesamedark,uglysecretsfromyou,too.Clearly,shedoesn’ttrusteitherofus.”
Thorpepaused,thengrittedhisteeth.“UntiltheFBIcametoSeanafewmonthsagoandaskedhimtogetinvolved,Ididn’tknowanythingaboutherpast.Ineverwantedtopry.SweetPea—Lily—alwaysseemedtoodelicate.”
“Orjustverygoodathidingherissues.I’llgettothebottomofeverythingandmakesureCantondoesn’tgettoher.YouhaveCallietothinkabout.Thatmonsterwouldabsolutelyuseyourwomantogetwhathewants.”
Thorpemulledthatoverforalong,uncomfortablemoment.“He’smanipulatedherusingthepeopleinherlifebefore.LetmetalktoSweetPeaforaminute.Waithere.”
Beforehecouldrespond,Thorpewasgone.Stonecursed.Andpaced.Hedidn’twanttobeatanyman’smercy,butThorpecouldproveaformidableallyifLilycontinuedtobedifficult.Shemightnothavesharedthedetailsofherpastwithherboss,butthatcouldbeLily’sdesiretokeephimsafeasmuchasdistrust.Thoughitchafed,Stonehadtoletthisplayout.
He’danticipatedwaitingforawhile,butThorpechargedbackdownthehallalmostimmediately.“Sheleft,damnit.Comewithme.”
Themandidn’twaittoseeifhewouldfollow,justshovedopentheclub’sfrontdoorandpushedhiswayoutside.Stonebargedoutbehindhim,worriedforthegirl.TheybothstoppedshortattheabsenceofLily’scutelittlecarinthelot.She’dhurledtheflowersoutofhervehicle,andpetalsofwhite,pink,yellow,orange,andpurpledottedtheblacktoplikeforgottenconfetti.
Thorpeshookhishead.“Axeldeserveshispeace,butIworrythatnomancanreachLilyexcepthim.”
“Ican.She’srunningscaredandsheneedsreassurance.Shealsoneedstounderstandthereareconsequencesforactingalonewhenshe’sindanger.I’llmakemyselfloudandclear.”
Justthenanelectronicdingfilledtheair.Thorpedughisphonefromhispocket.Hecursedagain.
“Damnit.That’smyreminderthatCalliehasanappointmentwiththeobstetricianinthirtyminutes.”Hefurrowedhisbrow.
Personally,Stonecouldn’tpictureThorpeinanofficefilledwithpregnantwomen.He’dgive“bullinachinashop”anall-newmeaning.
“WithCantonoroneofhisthugsnearby,Idon’tthinkyoushouldleaveheralone.”
“She’sgotSean.”ButThorpedidn’tsoundcompletelyassured.
Stonepressedhim.“DoyouwanttotakeachancewithCallie’ssafety?”
“You’reright.Ineedtofindherandstaybyherside.”
“I’lltrackLilydownandtextyou,”Stonevowed.“I’mtheonewhohastoconvincehertotestify,soyouneedtoletmehandleherfromhereonout.ButIhavetofindherbeforeshedisappears.”
“Allright.”Thorpecockedhishead.“Butthisdoesn’tgiveyoufreelicensetodowhateveryouwanttoLily.Ifyouhurtherinanyway,everyonewhoknowsandlovesthatgirlwillbesofarupyourass,we’lldisembowelyouwithastraightpin.Gotit?”
Hurtingherwasthelastthinghe’deverdo,butnoconvincingThorpeofthatnow.He’djusthavetofigureitoutforhimself.“Asbluntasyouare,there’snowayIcanmisunderstand.”
“Good.I’llexpectatextsoon.”Themansenthimanacidsmileashestraightenedhissuitcoat.“Don’tmakemehuntyoudown.”
ThenThorpewasgone.
Stonegrimaced.Itwasn’tasifhe’dbeenconvictedofanythingclosetorapeormurder.Infact,ifheconvincedLilytotestify,hemightbeabletohelphermovebeyondherpastwrongsandliveafulllife.
Buthecouldn’tlie.Thoseflowers—andwhattheyimplied—worriedhimlikehell.
Stonejerkedhiskeysfromhispocket.Whereto?Thegunrange?Gutinstincttoldhimno.Shehadhergun.Evenifshewasn’tconfidentwithit,ifshebelievedthepastwascomingbacktohaunther,shecouldwelldecidetofleeandfindsaferground.Theonlythingshemightdobeforeleavingtownwasgrabsomethingsoutofherapartment.Hefiguredhehadafewminutes—tops—tocatchuptoherbeforeshewouldbegoneforever.
Hesprintedtohistruckandtoreoutoftheparkinglot,runningredlightsanddodgingcarstomakeittoLily’splace.Whenheturnedintohercomplex,hepulledintoawell-manicuredsemicirculardrive,thenspedtowardherbuilding.Asheapproached,gardenerspaused.AmanwearingaDodgerscapsatinarockeronhisbalconyandwatched,divertinghisattentionfromhisiPadtopeekattheunfoldingdrama.Stoneignoredthem.
Hehadtofindherapartmentand—withoutlettingonthatheknewheridentity,whichwouldscarethecrapoutofherevenmore—hehadtowinhertrustenoughtoconvincehertorelyonhimstartingnow.
Unfortunately,hehadnoideahowtodothat,buthe’dbetterfigureitoutfast.
***
FIGHTINGdownpanic,Lilydashedtotheclosetinherlittleefficiency.Shereachedforherluggage,throwingbothpiecesonherbed.Onebyone,sheyankedherclothesfromtheirhangersandsnaggedthemfromdrawers,shovingthemintoabeat-upduffelandhersmallbrownsuitcase.Sheglancedatherphone.Herfiveminuteswasnearlyup.Shehadtograbherjewelry,shoveasmanyofhertoiletriesasshecouldintothetoteshekeptinthebathroom,andflee.
Panting,shemanagedallthat,thenscoopedupherlaptop,phonecharger,andtablet,too.Withafranticgaze,sheglancedaroundthelittleunit.Whatcouldn’tshelivewithout?
She’dbettertakeitnowbecauseshewasn’tcomingback.
Aftergrabbingafewextrabucksshe’dtuckedawayinatinshekeptonthekitchencounterandhopingitwouldbeenoughtoseeherthroughuntilshefoundwork,shespuninacircle,searchingforherpurse.Findingitonthebednexttohersuitcase,shestuffedthemoneyinherwallet,thenscannedthelittleplaceshe’dcalledhomesinceshe’dmovedtoDallas.Sheknewshewasforgettingsomething…
Kneeling,sheglancedunderthebedandfoundaboxofkeepsakesshe’dbroughtfromherformerlife.Therewasn’tmuch:anoldbirthdaycardfromhermom,apressedcorsageErinhadgivenherbeforethey’dgonetothehomecomingdancetogethersinceneitherofthemhadadate,andthehospitalbraceletshe’dwornononeofthesaddestdaysofherlife.
Underallthat,shefoundaheavybooksheknewaswellasherownface.Itslippedintoherpalmasifithadbeenmadetofitthere.ShecaressedtheblackvelvetcoverofherVistaRioHighSchoolyearbook,fingerstrailingoverhernameembossedonthefront.Thatextrahadbeenafrivoloussplurgebuttotallyworthitatthetime.Allherbest—andworst—memorieslayonthesepages.
Whensheflippedthetomeopen,thefrontcovercreaked.Sheskimmedthepagesofcandidshotsandorganizedactivities,seeingacollectionofpeopleandplacesshe’donceknownsowell.Realizingsheshouldn’tbutunabletoresist,LilythumbedherwaythroughuntilshefoundapictureofErinandherhammingitupforapeprally.Withbigsmilesandcheerleadingskirts,sheandherbestiehuggedtightly,cheekspressedtogether.Behindthem,herfriend’sbigbrother,Corey,photobombedthemwithhisfingersupandhistongueout,hisexpressionpurerock.
Littledidtheyknowthatinafewshortmonthsshewouldbetraythemterribly.
Withafrown,sheslammedthebookshutandshoveditintheboxagain.Shedidn’thavetimetorunbacktoherbedandcurlintothefetalposition.Shedefinitelydidn’thavetimeforthisevisceratingwalkdownmemorylane.Shesimplyhadtogetthehellout.
Lilyclosedallherluggageup,tuggeddowntheblinds,andleftthelightoninthelivingroom.ItwasonlyamatteroftimebeforeCantonfiguredoutwhereshelived.Maybethelittletablelampwouldfoolhimoranyonehesentheretokillherthatshewascozieduponthecouchwithaglassofchardonnay,zonedoutonTV.Maybeitwouldbuyherenoughextratimetomakeacleangetaway.
Asshestackedupherstuffandheadedforthedoor,sheglancedoutthekitchenwindow,whichoverlookedacorneroftheparkinglot.Ablackpickupshe’dneverseenhereskiddedintoview,enginerevving.Herheartstopped.
Stone.
Hertimewasup.Ifshedidn’thurry,shewouldbetoolatetomakeherescape.
Andtheywouldbothbedead.
ChapterFive
STONEspedthroughtheparkinglot,lookingforLily’sunit.Thebig,multibuildingcomplexwasspreadoutoverawideareawithameanderingroadinthemiddle.Damnit,wherewasshe?Hedidn’tseehercar,either.
Afterdrivingtotheexit,heturnedaroundandtrolledtheparkinglotagain,thistimecheckingdownallthesidepathsforhercar.Ifshehadcomeheretopackup,shewouldn’tbefarfromthatlittleyellowvehicle.
Craninghisheadtoseedownasmallerlanetotheright,hecaughtsightofabright,sunnycolor.Heburnedrubberandhauledasstogetthere.
“C’mon.C’mon…”HeprayeditwasLily’scar.Becauseifhecouldn’tfindher,he’dhavetohuntherdown,whichprobablymeantheadingfortheKeysandhopinghecouldfigureoutwhichoftheseventeenhundredislandsshemighthavefledto.Whatafuckingnightmare.
Asheskiddedaroundthecorner,hesawherhustlingtowardthelittleBug,rollingasuitcase.Shealsocarriedaduffelononeshoulderandanotherbigtoteontheother.Inherhands,shestruggledtoholdaclearlyheavybox.
Suddenly,asshesteppedoveracurbshecouldn’tsee,shetripped.Theboxtumbledoutofherhandsandclatteredtotheconcrete.Shefelltoherknees.Thetotesliddownherleftarm.Theduffelcutintoherright.Thekeysfellfromherfingersandskitteredacrossthelot.
Sheleapttoherfeetandstartedgatheringeverythingagain.ThefearanddefeatonherfacestabbedStonesquareinthechest.ButhegaveLilycredit.Sheswallowedbackhertears,thenshovedthecontentsoftheboxbackinsideandrearrangedherluggage,refusingtoletthesetbackstopher.
Stonewasevenmoredeterminednottogiveherasecondopportunitytofleefromhim.
Asshefinallyreclaimedeverythingshe’ddropped,hejerkedtoastopsidewaysbehindherVolkswagen,blockingherexit.Heshovedhisextendedcabintoparkandhoppedout.Shecaughtsightofhim,thenstartedracingforhercar.
Hedoveforherkeys,butLilyrealizedwhatheintendedanddroppedeverythingagain.Becauseshewascloser,shemanagedtoscoopthemupfirst.Hecouldhavetakenthemfromherbutthatwasn’tgoingtobuildhertrust.
“No.”Sheshookherheadadamantly.“Letmego.”
“Don’tleave.”
“Ihaveto.”
“Iknowyouthinkyou’reindanger.Someonefromyourpast,right?Youdon’twanthimtocatchyouorputanyoneyoucareaboutatrisk.”
Herbigeyeswidenedwithsurprise.“Howdidyou—”
“Iwasbornbutitwasn’tyesterday,baby.Letmehelpyou.”Hereachedforher.
“HowdoIknowyou’renotinvolved?Youseemtounderstandthissituationprettywellandyoujustgotoutofprison.”Shestoodandgrippedhertote,thenbeganbackingaway.“Don’tcomenearme.”
Stonesentherareassuringstare.“Ihavenothingtodowithanyonetryingtoscareyou.Hell,JackColegotmeoutofprisontohelpsolveacybercrime.”
“DidAxelknowthat?”
“No.
“ThenIdon’ttrustyou.”
Clearlyshe’dbeendeeplyattachedtoAxel,andthatmadeStonejealousashell.“Ifyoudon’tbelieveanythingelse,thenbelieveI’mheretohelpyou.”
Lilyshookherheadandgatheredherscatteredbelongingsagain.“It’snotthatsimple.Youdon’tunderstandhowruthlessthismonsteris.It’sbetterifIgo.TellThorpeandAxelIsaidgood-bye,”shechokedout.“Thankthemforeverything.”
Whenshetriedtodashpasthim,hesnaggedherarm,holdingherjusttightenoughtomakeherstay.“Baby,letmehelpyou.”
“Youcan’t.Besides,youlookatmelikeyou’dultimatelywantsexinreturn.Idon’tlikeitandI’mnogoodatit.”
“Whoa.”Hehelduphishands.“Ineversaidanythingaboutanexchangeofprotectionforsex.”
Shekeptonasifhehadn’tspoken.“SometimesinbedIfreakoutorcryor…God,Ineedtostopbabblingandgetoutoftown.”
AsLilydartedforhercar,Stonefiledawaythatassessmentofhersexualprowessandblockedherpath.“Don’trun.Nostrings.Ipromise.”
“Thenwhywouldyoubother?”
Stonetriedtothinkthroughhisanswerfast.Thetruth—thatheneededhertotestify—wouldscarethehelloutofherrightnow.Hecertainlycouldn’ttellherthathewantedhersobadlyitwasfuckingwithhisbrainpanbecausethatwouldfreakherout,too.Unfortunately,thatdidn’tleavehimwithmuch.“Ican’tstandtoseeyouterrified,andIpromisedThorpeI’dkeepyousafe.”
“Ifyoudon’twantsex,youfeelsorryforme,andIcan’thandlethat.Justletmegobeforethisguyfindsyouwithme.He’llkillyou.He’llkillusboth.”Shelookedreadytobeg.“Pleasemoveyourtruck.OtherwiseI’lljumpthecurbanddriveoverthegrasstogetaway.”
Herlittlecarwouldn’tmakeit,butStonewouldbetshe’dgiveitahellofatry.Andhewasrunningoutofoptions.Thelastonehehaduphissleevepissedhimoffbutifitworked,he’dgetoverhimself.
“Belogical.Thepersonwholeftthoseflowersisn’taniceguy,right?”
Ifanything,shepaledmoreassheshookherhead.“No.”
“I’mgoingtoventurethathemightevenbesomesortofcriminal.”
Lilypressedherlipstogether.Herchintrembledasshefoughtherfear.“Theworst.”
Fromeverythinghe’dbeentold,Cantonwasasociopathicprickwhodeservedaplaceofhonorintheninthcircleofhell.“Youdon’tknowanythingaboutbeingacriminal.”
“Iknowaboutrunningfromone.”
He’dgiveherthat.She’dmanagedtokeepherselfaliveforthepastsevenyears.“Butdoyouwanttokeeprunningfortherestofyourlife?Howlongbeforeitwearsyoudown?Howmuchlongerdoyouwanttokeepleavingfamilyandfriendstostartover,allalone?”
Hiswordsseemedtosliceatherheart,andhehatedthewaytearsfilledhereyes.“Idon’thaveachoice.”
“Youdo.Maybeittakesacriminaltothinklikeone.”
Sheglancedupathiminsurprise,asifthatthoughthadneveroccurredtoher.Thenshefrowned.“Yousaidyou’renotaviolentperson.”
“Prisonteachesamanalotaboutthelengthshe’llgotoinordertostayalive.”
“Youcan’tkillhim.”Hervoicetrembled.
IfCantonhadfrightenedLilythismuch,thenitwouldbeStone’spleasure.“Icanoutsmarthim,findotherwaystomakehimdisappear.Letmehandlethis.”
“Whywouldyouwantto?”
“Doyouwanttohavethisconversationagainorstartmakingadentintheproblem?Youdon’towemesex,andIdon’tpityyou.Canweleaveittherefornow?”
Lilypaused,lookingtorn,likeshewantedtosayyesbutdidn’twanttodraghimintohernightmare.
“Baby,”hecrooned.“Don’tworryaboutme.Whoeverheis—andyoucantellmeabouthimlater—Igotthis.I’llkeepyousafe.”
Shestilldidn’tjumponhisoffer.Normally,Stonewouldappreciatethatshewasthoughtfulandlogicalandwasn’tabouttolethimbulldozeher.Today,itwasdamninconvenient.
“It’smyproblem,”shemurmured.
Andshedidn’twanttobeaburden.Heunderstood.Alltoooften,hehadabitchofatimeaskingforhelphimself.“You’reinoveryourhead.”
Lilyletoutabreathasifshecouldn’tdenythat.“Idon’tknowhowlongthiswilltake.Youcan’tputyourlifeonhold—”
“Letmeworryaboutthat.It’shandythatthemenIworkforrefusetoleaveawomanindangerwhentheycanhelp.Iagreewiththem.Callmeold-fashioned.Oracaveman.They’rebothtrue.Let’sgo.”Heretrievedthebulkyboxshe’ddroppedearlieranddraggedtheduffeloffhershoulder.“Bringyourtoteandgetinthetruck.”
Finally,reluctantly,shenodded.“Thanks.Idon’thavemuch,butI’llpay—”
“Youdon’towemeadime.”Iresurged.Hefelthisfacetense,hisjawfirmintoahardline.“AndIdon’twanttoargueaboutit.”
Thistimewhenhegesturedhertothetruck,shenodded.“Thanks.”Ashesettheitemshe’dtakenfromherintothecoveredbed,shesetthetoteonthefloorboardofthepassenger’sseat.“Canyoubackyourtruckupafewfeet?Ineedtomovemycaroritwillgettowed.I’drathermakesureThorpegetsitincasethenextsadsackhetakesinneedswheels.”
Stonesawthesignthatproclaimedhercarsatinafifteen-minutespot.“Yeah,butifyourun,I’llhuntyoudown.Thinklongandhardabouthowthatwillend.”
Lilyscowled.“I’mgoingwithyoubecauseitmakessenseandyou’rerightaboutbeinginovermyhead.You’resupposedlywiththegoodguys.Yousayyoudon’twantsexandyoudon’tpityme.That’sgreat.Youalsodon’townme.”
Notyet,butthedaywasn’tover.
“Inorderformetoprotectyou,you’regoingtohavetolistentomeandfollowdirectionswithoutquestion.Youknowhowtodothat.”Heraisedabrowather.
AnditburnedhimthatAxelhadtaughther.
Sheflushed,thenloweredhergaze.Somethingaboutthegesturemadehimhardashell.Hisentirebodytightened,lungssqueezed.Anacheforherthathadbeencoileddeepformonthsbegantounfurl.Stoneforcedhimselftobreathe.Nowwasn’tthetimeforthis.
“Ido,”sheadmittedsoftly.
“Nowmoveyourcar.I’llfollowandwatch.”
Keysinhand,sheheadedtoherlittleyellowBug,skirtswishingwiththebreeze.Hebackedawayandgaveherenoughspacetomovehervehiclefromthesideofthebuilding,intoanassignedspotunderanoverhang.Hefrownedwhenshesteppedoutofthecar,thendashedbacktohistruckandreachedintohertote.“Thecomplexissuednewparkingtagsyesterday.Ineedtohangitfrommyrearviewmirrororthey’lltowmebeforeIcanmailmykeystoThorpe.”Butitwasn’tahangtagshepulledfromherbag;itwasashinynewgun.Lilypointeditinhisface.“Theguywho’saftermeknowswhatmycarlookslike.Getoutandgivemeyourkeys.”
Soshecoulddisappearalone?“Notachance,baby.Youwon’tshootme.”
“Youdon’tknowhowdeterminedIam,”sheinsisted.“I’lldoit.I—”
Adeafeningexplosionrenttheairasaballoforangefireburstandswelled.Hearthammering,hewhirledaroundintimetoseetheblazeroarandbelchwhileitswallowedLily’scarwhole.
ChapterSix
AStheyspedawayfromDallas,Stonedugintohispocketforhiscellphone.Besidehim,Lilyhadthankfullystoppedtremblingandhadfallensilent.Thatfuckingbombhadchangedeverything,andaftermentallyscramblingforaplan,he’dtoldhertheywereheadedtoLouisianaandhewouldn’thearanymorearguments.She’dshovedapairofbudsinherears,retreatingintoherselftodeal,andstaredoutthewindowinsilenceasthesceneryzippedby.
Holdinginasigh,hedialedJack,whoansweredonthefirstring.“Whatthefuckisgoingon?ThorpecalledmewhenyouleftDominion.DidyoufindLily?”
“Atherapartment,yeah.Justbarely,”Stoneadmitted.“Shepulledagunonme.”Andheadmiredthemoxieshehadtotrythatmove.“Butthenhercarexploded.IfIhadn’tfollowedmyinstinctthatshe’drunorifI’dbeenafewminuteslater…”
Therealizationthatshecouldhavediedmadehisgutchurn.
“Hercarexploded?Likeabomb?”
“Exactlylikethat.”
“Merde,”Jackswore.“ThankgodyougottoherbeforeCanton.That’swhat’simportant.Whenwedidn’thearfromeitherofyou,Iworried.Youprovidetechnicalassistance,notoperativeintelligence.”
“Icanholdmyown.”He’dlearnedalotinprison.“Rightnow,I’mheadedbacktowardLafayettebutIneedaplacetohideher,somewheresecludedanddifficulttotrace.Yougotasafehouse?IfIcanisolateher,Icanfigureoutwhattodonext.”
“I’malreadyaheadofyou.I’lltextyoudirectionstosomeplaceCantonwillneverfind,andifhedoes,thegatorswillfindhimfirst.Inthemeantime,I’llgetwithSeantoseeifwecantrackdownanyoneintheDallasPDworkingthiscasewho’dbewillingtokeepusapprisedoftheirinvestigation,thetypeofincendiarydevice,andhowsophisticateditwas,anysuspectsorwitnesses.Whateverinformationmighthelp.”
“Whenwegettoyourlocation,I’llseewhatIcandigupwithalittleonlinetrollingandhacking.Someonesomewhereknowssomething.She’ssufferedfortoolong.Thisshitisgoingtostop.”
“Testifyingwillbereallydamnhardonher,butshe’llfinallyhaveafutureonceit’soverandshe’llthankyou.Butyoudon’thaveverylongtopersuadehertocooperate.”
“Thanksforthereminder,”Stonereturnedflippantly.
“Sorry,just…”Jacksighed.“Thetwoofyouwillbespendingallyourtimealoneatmyoldfishingcabin.It’sgotthebasics.IkeepitstockedwithgroceriesbecauseMorganandIgoouttherewheneverwecan.Thekitchenmostlyrunsonpropane.Extratanksareintheshedoutback.There’ssurveillanceequipmentintheroomattheendofthehall.Onebedroom…butyoucanmakethatworkinyourfavor.”
“How?Ican’tfuckherintocomplying,”Stoneprotestedinalowvoice.“Couch?”
Lily’swordsaboutbeingbothbadatandafraidofsexechoedinhishead.Stonedidn’tbelieveshecouldpossiblybeterriblebetweenthesheets.Asgorgeousasshewas,asgivingasshetriedtobe,hejustcouldn’tpicturethat.Hedidn’tknowwhatthedealwasbetweenherandAxelandwhethertheguyhadgivenheracomplexaboutherprowess,butStoneintendedtomakeherfeelawholelotbetterassoonasshelethim.
Herfearofsexwasatotallydifferentproblem.SothatlonebedinJack’scabinmightspookher.Untilshewasabletostarttrustinghim,theycouldn’tmoveforward.
“Noonthecouch,notifyouwanttostanduprighttomorrow,”Jackquipped.“CanIgiveyousomeadvice?”
“Shoot.”Maybetheguyhadsomethinghelpfultosay.Asitwas,StonehadnoideahowhewasgoingtokeepLilycalm,muchlessconvincehertobetheprosecution’smainwitnessagainstamanwho’doncewipedouteveryoneshelovedandnowobviouslythreatenedtodoawaywithher.
“I’vebeeninthissituation.WithMorgan,actually.Wewerestrangersatthetime.Imanagedtokeepapsychofromshootingherinbroaddaylight.ThenItookherouttothecabintohide.IfyouwanttosaveLily—andyourownass—getinsideherheadfast.”
“ShehasnoideathatIknowanythingaboutherpastorhertrueidentity.”HeglancedLily’sway.Shewasstilllookingoutthewindow,listeningtohertunes.Logically,heunderstoodthiswasherwayofkeepingspacebetweenthemwhilesheprocessedandcalmedherselfdown.Butthewayshekepthimatarm’slengthgratedonhisnerves.“Iwanthertotellmewhosheisandwho’safterher.IworrythatifItellherIalreadyknow—thatwe’veallknownforthelastfewmonths—she’snevergoingtotrustmeoragreetotellajurywhatshesaw.”
Jacksighed.“I’mnotbeingbluntenough.She’sasubmissivelookingforsomeonewithafirmhandtobelongto.Learnherbackwardandforward,thenfigureoutexactlywhatsheneedsandgiveittoher.Ifyoucandothat,she’llfollowyoutotheendsoftheearth.”
“Iknowthat’swhatyouandLoganhavebeencoachingmeforduringtheselastthreemonths.I’llgiveiteveryfuckingthingI’vegot.”
“Ihavefaithinyou.Afterall,youputoneoveronJoaquinandtheEdgingtonbrotherswiththeDilbertvirus.Thatwasprettyclever.Turnthatsameshrewdmindonher.Andjustsoyouknow,thecabincomeswithafullyequippedplayroom.Havefun.”
Jackhungup,andStonestaredathisphone.Onthescreenafewsecondslater,uppoppeddirectionstotheplace,alongwithafewinstructionsonhowtodisablethecabin’ssecurity.
Stonetuckedawaythedeviceandlookedacrossthecabofhistruck.HeresistedtheurgetoplaceapalmonLily’sthigh,stillbarelycoveredinashortpinkskirtandwhitethighhighs,nowwithholesinbothknees.Thankfully,shedidn’tlookasifshe’dscrapedherselftoobadlyorbeenotherwisehurtintheblast.Butshewasterriblyquiet.
Heoptedtotouchhershoulderandwaiteduntilshetookoutherearbudsandshutoffthemusicblastingfromherphone.“Youhungry,baby?”
Sheshookherhead.“Howdidyouknowwheretofindmyapartment?InevertoldyouwhereIlive.”
“I’mahacker,remember?”
Herfrowntoldhimshedidn’tlikethatanswer.“SowhereinLouisianaarewegoing?”
Didshethinkhewouldtellhersothatshecouldpotentiallystartplanninganexitstrategy?“Jackgavemealocationwherewecanhidewhilewefigureoutsomethings.I’veneverbeenthere,butI’llfindit.”
Lilygnawedonherlip.“Youcan’tmakemyproblemgoaway.You’lljustruinyourlife.”
“Newsflash:It’salreadyprettyscrewedup.Idon’thavealottoloseexceptyou.Tellmeaboutthisdirtbagwho’sscaringyou.”
Sheshookherhead.“Don’tdothis.Youcan’tkeepmeinhidingforever,andthat’sprobablyhowlongitwouldtaketobringthisguydown.Iftheplaceyou’retakingmeissafe,great.I’llusethattimetoregroupandfigureoutwheretogonext.Whenyougetbored,I’llhaveagameplanready.”
“LikeheadingtotheKeys?”hechallenged.
Thatgotherattention.Sherearedback.“H-howdidyou…You’reahacker.Gotit.”
“Baby,whenyouwouldn’ttalktome,Iwantedtoknowallyoursecrets.IpickedapartyourInternetsearchesandscouredyourbrowsinghistory.”
“Areyousureyou’renotastalker?”
“I’mjustamanwho’sworriedaboutyou.Whenyoufirstblewmeoff,Ididn’tknowifyouwerestillinlovewithAxel.ThenIjustwonderedwhatthehellyouwereupto.”
“Whyareyouhelpingme?Really.Youbarelyknowme.”
“Well,eversinceyourcarexploded,JackColeandIareonthesamepage.I’mgoingtoguessThorpeis,too,especiallysinceheaskedmetobeyourprotectorevenbeforethen.TexthimandlethimknowI’vegotyouandthatyou’reokay.Letmeseebeforeyousendit.”
Lilylookedasifshewantedtoobjectbutfinallysighedandtappedonthekeys.Withahintofrebellion,shepracticallywhippedherphoneinhisfacetoshowhimthatshewas,infact,textingThorpethemessageStonehadrequested.
Henodded.“Sendit.”
Shepressedherfingertothescreen.“Done.”
Thensheblinkedbackathim.Herlackofexpressionbotheredhim.Shelookedasifshe’dcrawledintosomeprotectiveshellwherenoonecouldreachheranddecidedtostay.Shealsolookedexhausted.Thedarkcirclesunderhereyesdidn’tgivehimanydoubtthatshe’dbeenlosingsleep.HewouldfixthatASAP.
“Good,”hepraised.“Nowputyourphoneonairplanemodesoitcan’tbetracked,justincasethisbadguyhasabeadonyou.”
Lilybitherlip.“I’dfeelbetterifThorpecouldfindus.”
Stonewishedheknewhowtoreassureherwithjustawordoratouch,butshedidn’ttrusthimenoughforthat—yet.“Jackwillknow.Butthefewerpeoplewhocanlocateyouelectronically,thesaferyou’llbe.”Hegrippedthewheel,theglareoftheafternoonsunglintingintherearviewmirror.
Sheclutchedthephoneinhersmallhands,herblacknailpolishnearlyblendingwiththedeviceitself.“WhatifIneedtotalktosomeone?”
“I’vegotmyphone.”Hepattedhispocket.
Finallyshecomplied.Hebreathedasighofrelief.
“Nowwhat?”sheasked.
“Trustme.”
Butshewouldn’tuntilhehadearnedit.
Ifshewouldtestify,Cantonwouldprobablygoawayforalongtime.Shecouldresumeherlife,evenbeLilyTayloragain.Butwithoutthatoption,takingdownagubernatorialcandidatewouldn’tbeasimplefeat.Andmakingherdisappearfromhisradarforever…Thisguyhadreachandpull,soitwouldn’tbeeasy.
“Solet’stakethisfromthetop.Whoisthisguyandwhatdoeshewant?”
Shemerelysenthimasidelongglance,shovedherearbudsbackin,andcrankedupthemusic.
Stonegrittedhisteeth.Patience.Hewantedtopressonandgettheanswerstohisthousandquestionsaboutherpast,butherdayhadbeenharrowingandoverwhelming.Shehadn’teaten,hadn’tslept,hadn’thadamoment’speace.Oncehetookcareofthoseneeds…Thenhe’dripthosebudsoutofherearsandstartpeelingawaythelayersofhersecretsuntilshegavehimeverythinghewanted.
***
THElateafternoonwashotandharshasStonepulledupinfrontofasmalldockarea.“We’realmostthere.”
Lilylookedaroundandsawonlyaricketyvesselfloatingattheendofthelittlepier.“Wehavetotakeaboat?”
“It’saskiff.Thehouseismeanttobesafe,notnecessarilyconvenient.”
Aroundher,theswampfeltalive.Cicadassungascypresstreesreachedforthesky,theirbranchesweigheddownbySpanishmoss.Afungus-likegrowthclungtothetopofthesludgybrownwater.Shedidn’tevenwanttoknowwhatreptilesandothercreepythingscrawledunderthesurface.Abeadypairofeyesskimmingtheoppositesideoftheshorelinesuggestedgatororwhateverelselivedouthere.
“Idon’tknowaboutthis.”
Stoneluggedhersuitcase,duffel,andboxallatonce,andshetriednottonoticehowhisarms,shoulders,andchestbulged,ripplingwitheverymove.“You’llbealotsaferatthecabinthanifyoustayhere.Cottonmouthsliveintheseparts.Ithinkthey’renocturnalcreatures.”Heshrugged.“Iknowthey’revenomous.Butit’syourcall.”
“You’rebackingmeintoacorner.”
“I’mtryingtosaveyourlife,”hesaidashedumpedmostofherluggageintotheskiffandclimbedin.
Shegrabbedhertoteandslammedthecardoor,tiptoeingcarefullytotheshoretoavoidanythingthatmightbiteandkillher.“I’veneverbeentoaswamp.”
“Hopefully,neitherhastheguychasingyou.”Hereacheduptograbherduffel,thenpileditontopofherotherpiecesbeforeholdingoutahandtohelpherin.
Onceshe’dsettledintothenarrowseatoppositehim,hepulledthekeyfoboutofhispocketandhitabutton.Sheheardanelectronicbeepandthetruck’slightsflashed,signalingthatthevehiclewaslocked.Lilyhadasinkingfeelingthatmightbethelastmodernconvenienceshesawforawhile.God,shewasinwayoverherhead.Heck,she’dneverevenbeencamping.Shecertainlydidn’tunderstandanythingaboutwhereshewas,onlythatprettymucheverythingaroundhercouldkillherbeforeCantonevencameclose.
Besidetheboat,movementcaughtherperipheralvision.Thewatersloshed.Somethingmovedjustunderthesurface,notfivefeetfromher.Sheheldinascream.
Stoneshookhisheadashepluckedouthisphoneandusedtheflashlightfeature,illuminatingthebottomoftheboat.
“Whatareyoudoing?”sheasked.
“Makingsurenothingcrawledintotheskiffbeforeweleavetheshore.”
Thoughshewonderedifhesaidthatmerelytoyankherchain,Lilywasstilltemptedtocrawlontohislapandbeghimtoprotectherfromanythingthathadmorelegsorteeththanshedid.
“We’reclear,”hemurmured,killingthelightandpocketingthephoneagain.
Hegrabbedtheoarsandstartedtorow.
“Theboatdoesn’thaveamotor?”Thathorrifiedher.
“Skiff,andno.Thewateristooshallowandthechemicalrunofffromtheengineisn’tgoodfortheecosystem,accordingtoJack.It’snotalongride.Hangtight.I’llkeepyousafe.”
Lilybelievedthat.Forwhateverreason,he’ddecidedtosaveherfromCanton.He’dkeptherfromexplodinginhercar.Nowheseemeddeterminedtodragherouttothemiddleofnowhereuntil…what?Shehadnointentionofcoughingupherpastsothathecouldlearnallhersecrets.Shewouldn’tgiveanyonethatsortofpoweroverher.Norwouldsheputanyoneinthatmuchdanger.
Theboatrideseemedlikethelongestfiveminutesofherlife.Shewaitedforagiantreptiletosnatchherfromtheboatandchompherintoawaterygravelikeasceneoutofahorrormovie.Sheshriekedassomethingheavybumpedthesideoftheboatbutitswamon.Egretsandheronsswoopedaroundasorange,gold,andbrightpinkraysslantedthroughtheclouds,dazzlingwiththedyingdaylight.Somethingelseshecouldn’tidentifycalledintothecomingeveningasthewindblewhot,humidairoverherskin.Themosquitopopulationoutherehadtowayoutnumberhumans.
Finally,theynudgedupagainstanotherdock.Stonestoodandliftedherthingsontotheadjacentpierwithseeminglylittleeffort.Thatcraphadweighedatontoher.
Hehoistedhimselfout,everymuscleinhisback,shoulders,andarmsbulgingonceagainuntilhestoodontop.Thenhereachedahandouttoher.
Sheblinkedupathim.“You’rejustgoingtoliftmeup?”
“Yougotabetteridea?”
Lilylookedaround.Shortoftryingtotakeagiantstepovertheslimy,life-infestedwatersandpotentiallyfalling,shedidn’t.Grimacing,sheheldoutherhand.
Withachuckle,hepulledherup,thentiedtheboatoffandturnedaround.“We’rerightoverthere.”
Shefollowedsuitandsawwhatappearedtobeasmallbrowncabinwithawraparoundporchblendinginwithitssurroundings.Itwasn’tremarkable.Shewasn’tevensureitwasstable.Butanythinghadtobebetterthanhangingoutwheresomecreaturemightdecidethatshe’dmakeagooddinner.
“Leadtheway,”shesaidfinally.
Stonepickeduphersuitcaseandduffel.Sheretrievedhertoteandreachedforthebox.
“I’vegotit,”hetoldher,liftingitbetweenbig,capable-lookinghands
Whycouldn’tshestoplookingatStone?Whydidshewanthimthismuch?Lilyalreadyknewthatnomatterhowsexyshefoundhim,shewouldn’tenjoyactualsexwiththeman.Sheneverdid,evenwithsomeonelikeAxel,whomshetrusted.
Atthefrontdoor,heshinedthelightfromhisphoneonakeypad.Theshackmightappearonthericketyside,butthatelectronicentryandthecamerastuckedundertheeavesoverheadsaidotherwise.Oncehe’dpunchedinthecode,heopenedthedoorandusheredherin,cartingherstuff.
Lilygropedaroundthewallforaswitch.Whensheflippeditup,nothinghappened.“Nopower.”
“Jackkeepsafewofthebreakersoffwhenhe’snotusingtheplace.Letmegoflipthem.”
Stonedisappearedoutthefrontdooragain,leavingherintheshadowedroom.Withthelastofthedaylightslantingthroughthewindows,shesawanoldbluecouch,abeigechair,andacoffeetablethathadseenbetterdays.Darkhardwoodfloorsfeltsolidbeneathherfeet.Thespaceopenedtoaserviceablekitchen.Itwasn’ttheRitz,butitwasn’tanyworsethanthechildhoodhomeshe’dsharedwithhermotherandbrother.Bonus,shewouldbettheydidn’tseegunviolenceandgangactivityhere.
Amomentlater,brightlightsilluminatedthecozylittleplace.Shetendedtolikeloud,eclecticdecor,butthisplacehadakitschy,homeyvibe.Therefrigeratorandkitchentablelookedlikesomethingoutofthefifties,andthelivingroomfurniturewasn’tmuchnewer,butshe’dbeteverythingherewaswellusedandwellloved.
Stonesteppedbackinsideamomentlaterandlockedthedoorbehindhim.“Haveaseatatthekitchentable.I’llputourstuffawayandhavealookaround.Thenwe’llfigureoutsomethingthatresemblesdinner.”
Lilykindofwantedtoarguebecauseshedidn’twanthimtogettheimpressionthatshe’dsimplycomplywithwhateverhewantedherto.Butthetruthwas,despitehernapearlier,shewasstillbeat.Thisdayhadwornherout.Andifshewasbeingtotallyhonest,somethingabouttheedgeofcommandinhisvoiceincitedazipofexcitementdownherspine.
Hedidn’twaittoseeifshecomplied,justpickeduphercrapandheadeddownthehall.AsLilywatchedhimretreat,sheheldinasigh.Shealmostnevernoticedamanbeyondhiseyes,hishands,andhisbehavior.ButshetookonelookatStone’sassandthoughtshemightswallowhertongue.
God,shehadtogetherheadtogether.Nodoubthewouldhaveamillionquestionsforheroncehecameback.She’dbeentryingtodecidehowtoeffectivelyskirtthetruthorifsheshouldsimplyfeedhimabunchoflies.Shestillhadn’treachedanyconclusion,andnowshehadonlymomentstodecide.
Sheheardthethumpofherluggagehittingthefloorinanearbyroom;thenhisfootstepsresoundedthroughthecabin,comingcloser.Herstomachknottedintoatangleofnerves.
Heappearedintheopeningbetweenthekitchenandthehallway,bracingabighandonthewall.Hisbicepsflexed,thecoloredinktheresnagginghergaze.
“Youhungry,baby?”
Tobecontrary,shewantedtosayno.Butshereallywasfamished.“Yes.”
Withacurtnod,hepeekedintothefridge.“Whatareyourkitchenskills?Minesuck.”
“Minearegood.”She’dbeenfeedingherselfandherlittlebrothersincesheturnednineandhermomhadpickedupanotherfull-timejobinabetterpartoftown,whichhadbeenfarawayfromwheretheycouldaffordtolive.ButthatwasLosAngeles.“What’sinthere?”
“Besidescondimentsandbottledwater,eggs,yogurt,afewveggies…”Heshutthedoorandbenttoopenthefreezerbeneath.“Lookslikewehavesomechickenandhamburgerpatties.Andlotsoffrozencrawfish.”
Lilyshuddered.“Notmuchofafishfan.”
“BythetimefolksfromLouisianagetdonecookingcrawfishandputtingitintoanétouffée,itdoesn’treallyresemblefishanymore.”
Still,sheshookherheadandrose,peekinginside.“Ifyou’llhandmethehamburgerpatties,IthinkIhaveanidea.”
Hepassedherthefrozenmeat.“Goodtohear.Icouldeatadozeneggsbymyselfandstillbestarving.”
Takingafewitemssheneededoutofthefridge,shewinced.Sheneededtoremembershewasn’tcookingforonenow,andStonecouldprobablyeatenoughforthreeofher.“Anythingherethatresemblesbooze?”
Henarrowedhiseyes.“No.”
“Youdidn’tevenlook.”
“Idon’tneedto.We’renotdrinkingtonight.Iwantyoucompletelysober.”
Thatsucked,butsheshouldprobablykeepaclearheadforallthequestionshewouldsurelyaskher.“Givemeaboutthirtyminutes.I’llhavefoodready.”
“I’vegotnowheretogo.”Hepulledoutachair.“Exceptwhereveryouare.Sowhydon’twestartatthetop?Themanafteryouisnamed…”
Sheturnedonthegasstoveandfishedaroundthecabinetsuntilshefoundapan.“HomicidalManiac.I’mnotfillinginthatblankforyou.”
Stoneclenchedhisjaw,obviouslywishingthatshe’dstopstonewalling.Hesimplydidn’tgetthatshewasdoinghimafavor.
“Inordertodefendyou,IhavetounderstandwhatI’mupagainst.Ifyoudon’twanttogivemeaname,Ineedtoknowwhatsortofcrimeshecommitted.Whatishecapableof?”
“Anything.Everything.”Shetossedthehamburgerpattiesintothewarmpan,tryingtofocusonthemundanesothatimagesofErin’slastdayonearthdidn’tcrippleher.“Drugs,extortion,racketeering,rape,murder.Ican’tproveit,butIthinkheoncehadaringofsexslaveshesoldofftofat,richmen.Hedeniedit,butitwasamazinghowmanyyounggirlsdisappearedfromourneighborhood,seeminglywithoutatrace.Hedoesn’tpossessashredofhumanity.”
“Andyoufoundthatoutandlivedtotellthetale.”
Shedidn’tknowhowtoanswerthatwithoutimplicatingherselfsoshejustshruggedandlistenedtothemeatbegintosizzle.Amomentlater,shepokedherheadinthefridgeagain.ItwasagoodexcusenottomeetStone’sdemandinggaze.
“Howoldwereyou?”
“Sixteen.Andthat’sthelastI’msayingaboutit.”Shegrabbedwhatlookedlikearugula,abagofthicksandwichrolls,andsomeshavedParmesan.IfthiswasJack’splace,heknewhowtoeatdecently.
“Didhehurtyouphysically?”
Lilyhadn’texpectedthatquestion.Stonesoundedonedge,liketheanswercouldreally,trulysethimoff.“Me?No.”
Justeveryoneshe’devercaredabout.
“Soyouwitnessedacrime.”
She’dwitnessedabsolutehorror.
“I’mdonetalking.”Sheflippedthefirstoftheburgers,moreforsomethingtooccupyherselfthanforanyrealneed.
Stonedidn’tsayanythingforalongminute.Atfirstshewashappyforthesilence.Thenitbegantoworryher.Shedidn’tknowhimwell,butinherexperienceasilentStonewasathinkingStone.
Lilylookedoverhershoulderathim.Sureenough,he’dfixedhisstareonher,hiseyesfullofspeculation.Buthedidn’tsayaword.
Somehow,thatmadehermorenervous.
“DoyoulikeParmesan?”sheaskedinanely,thenberatedherself.Thefirsttacticofagoodinterrogatorwastoleavesilenceforthewitnesstofill.
“Sure.Tellmeaboutyourfamily.”
“MydadranoutwhenIwaslittle.Therestaredead.”Toprecludehimfromaskingthenext,obviousquestion,shecounteredwithaqueryofherown.“Whataboutyou?”
“WhenIwasarrested,thefedsdecidedtomakeanexampleofmeandmybuddiessothatotheraffluentkidswouldunderstandtheyweren’tabovethelaw.Aroundthattime,mygrandmotherfellandsufferedsomeinternalbleeding.Shepassedaway.Afewmonthslater,shortlyafterthesentencing,mymotherdiedofaheartattack.Weneverreconciled.Ididn’tgettoattendherfuneral.Myfatherseveredalltiesafterthat.Ispentalotoftimebehindbarsreelingfromthefactthatonedecisioncostmeafuture,myfamily—everything.Thatansweryourquestion?”
“Yes.”Itcertainlywashonest.Sheletoutabreathasshescouredthenearbycabinetsforapairofplates.
“Howdidtherestofyourfamilydie?”heasked.
Sheshouldhaveknownhewouldn’tsimplygiveup.
“Itdoesn’treallymatterbecausethey’regonenow.”
Stonelookedasifhedisagreedbutdidn’tsayso.“Whereareyoufrom?”
Shecheckedtheburgersandgrabbedthesandwichrolls,slicingtheminhalfwhiletryingtokeephercalm.“Nottalkingaboutmypast.”
“HowlonghaveyoubeeninDallas?”
“LongerthanIshouldhaveapparently.”
LilyglancedatStone.Hedidn’tlookthrilledbyheranswer,buthewasfarfromlosinghiscool.“I’mnottheenemy.”
“Thatremainstobeseen.Itoldyouwhenwefirstmetthatittakesmealongtimetotrust.”Sheploppedtheburgersdownonthebuns,thencrackedopentwoeggsintothehotpan.
“Youdid,”heacknowledgedwithanod,thenrose.“I’llchecktomakesurewe’relockeduptight.Don’twantanyonegettingin.”
Orout
Astheeggsfried,shelistenedtotheairaroundher.Everythingsoundedsostill,quiet.Shewasn’tusedtoit.AtDominion,somethingalwaysseemedtobegoingon.Peopletalkedandplayed,oftenloudly.Eveninherapartmentbuilding,herneighborshadbeenyoungprofessionalsandsingleparents.She’dalwaysheardvoicesandtelevisionsordoorsslamming.
Now?Absolutesilence.Itmadeheruneasy.Forthefirsttime,shewishedStonewouldcomeback.She’dsayshewasbetteroffwiththedevilsheknew,butshedidn’treallyknowmuchabouthim.Anex-conwithasadstory,he’djumpedintosaveherforreasonsonlyheunderstood.Shebitherlip,uncertainwhattomakeofhim.
Frowning,sheflippedtheeggs,waitedafewmoments,thenfinishedplatingthesandwichesandthrewsomeParmesanontop,alongwithalittlesaltandpepper.
Asshesetthefoodonthetable,Stoneenteredagainandsat.“Everythingsmellsgood.”
Shescroungedupacoupleofpapertowelsandsomesilverware.“Ifyou’restillhungryafterthis,Icanmakeyouanother.”
“Thanks.”Herosefromthetableandhuntedthroughacabinetinthelivingroom,thenreturnedwithabottle.“Youobjecttovodka?”
“Youchangedyourmind?”
Hegaveherasinglesharpnod.“YoustopwhenIsayso.Isthatclear?”
Lilyswallowed.Somethinginhimhadchanged.He’dmorphedfrominterrogatortoDom.Shehearditinthetoneofhisvoice.Sheriskedaglancehisway.Yeah,itwasalloverhisface.
Againstherwillandbetterjudgment,arousallacedherblood,makinghertingleinsomeuncomfortablypersonalplaces.Adisturbingexcitementleftherbreathless.Shecouldn’tseemtonotstare.Andthatonlymadehernipplespebbleandtheachebetweenherlegscoiltighter.
Sherippedhergazeaway.“Yes.”
Helookedasifhehadsomethingelseonhismind.Herlackofprotocol?SherefusedtocallhimSir.Shewasafraidthatonceshestarted,shewouldneverstop.
Withadefiantglance,sheliftedherchin.“Areyoupouring?”
“Yep.”Heproducedashotglassfromhisbigfistandtippedthebottle,fillingit.“Go.”
“Whyareyougivingmebooze?”Tointerrogateherwhileshewasundertheinfluence?
Hecockedhisheadandsentherashrewdstare.“Whydidyouaskforit?Anddon’tgivemesomeflippantshitthatyou’rethirsty.”
No,sheknewthatwouldn’tbesmart.“BecauseIstillfeelasifI’mshakingalloverfromthecarbomb.Ihaven’tsleptindays.”
“Andyouwerehopingtoescapeforafewhoursbypassingout?”
“Somethinglikethat.”
“You’llsleep.I’llmakesureofit.Drink.”
“Areyougoingtoplymewithmorequestions?”sheaskedsuspiciously.
“Nottonight.”
Lilywasn’tsureshebelievedhim,butthechanceforalittlebitofoblivionwastoomuchtopassup.Sheliftedtheglassandsenthimamockingsalute.“Cheers.”
Withoutanotherword,hedugintohissandwich,eschewingsilverwareinfavorofgoodold-fashionedeatingwithhishands.Aseggyolkrandownoneofhisfingers,helickeditoff.Insteadofbeingannoyedordisgusted,shefoundhimsexy…primal.Hemoanedandclosedhiseyeswhenheate.Hisstrongjawworked.HisAdam’sapplebobbed.Shecouldn’tstopstaring.
Whatwaswrongwithher?
Lilywasn’tsureshewantedtheanswertothatquestion,soshetossedthevodkaback,relishingtheburnofthealcoholdownherthroat.Thenshedugintohersandwich,carefullycarvingitwithherknifeandfork.
Whenshelookedupagain,shefoundStonewatchingher.“What?”
Aglancerevealedthathisplatewasempty.“Thatwasfantastic.”
Hisopinionprobablyshouldn’tmatter,butshecouldn’thelpthethinribbonofpleasurethatwoundthroughherathisapproval.“Thanks.”
Hefellsilentasshefinishedwhatshecouldofhersandwich.Knowinghiseyeswereonher,shecouldn’teatanymore.Withhisbigpresenceandintentstare,herattledher.Tensionthickenedtheairbetweenthem.Lilyhadneverfeltanythinglikeit,butsheunderstooddamnwellthatitwassexual.
Lickingherlips,sheshovedtheshotglassclosertothevodka.“Another?”
Stonetookalongtimetoanswer.“Allright.Ifyou’llagreetotrytosleepafterward.”
Astiredasshefelt?Andtoavoidmorequestions?“Sure.”
Hepoured.Shedrankandsavoredtheburn.Funny,shefeltmorerelaxedbutnotunwired.Andnothingwasgoingtomaketheterrorofhercarblowinguplessthantwentyyardsawayfromherdisappear.
Stonescrewedthetopbackonthebottleofvodka.“I’lldothedishes.Youtakeashower.Thebathroomisthefirstdoorontheleft.Thebedroomisdirectlyacrossthehall.Meetmetherewhenyou’redone.”
Shestiffened.“Why?”
“Nottoviolateyouagainstyourwill.Ihaven’thurtyouyetandI’mnotplanningonit.”
Lilyhadtoadmithehadapoint.“Allright.”
Withanod,hebeganclearingthetableandwashingthedishes.Sheretreatedtothebathroomwithhertoteandsuitcase.Afterarelaxingbathintheoldclaw-foottubthatfeltlikealittlesliceofheaven,sheshouldfeelmorerelaxed.AllshecouldthinkaboutwasthatStonewouldbewaitingforherinthebedroom.
Lilydugthroughhersuitcase.Shefoundablushsilk-and-lacenumberthatCalliehadgivenherforherbirthday.Itwasgreatforluxuriousslumberinthesummerbutwaytooseductive.Instead,shegrabbedoneofAxel’soldT-shirts,stainedwithdyefromoneofhermanyhair-colorexperiments.Theshortsleeveshungdowntoherelbows.Thehemfelltoherknees.
Shewashedherfaceandtookdownthevictoryrollsthatsweptthelongbangsfromherface.Thenshebrushedthecurlsfromherhair,lettingthestrandsfallpasthershoulders.Afteraquickbrushofherteeth,shedraggedinadeepbreath.Nowornever
Thefivestepsacrossthehallweresomeofthehardestshe’devertaken.Whenshewalkedintothebedroom,Stonestoodbesideafour-posterbed.He’dtuggeddownthecozyblanketsandsheets.
“Getin,”heinstructed.
Whenhesteppedbacktogiveherroom,sheclimbedintothebed,hergazeneverleavinghis.Shepulledupthecoversasiftheywouldprotecther.Asifsomepartofherdidn’twanttostripoffeverythingsheworeandtrytoactuallyenjoythetouchofaman.
Butno,she’djustfreezeup.Likeshealwaysdid.
Stonesweptherhairbackfromherfaceandbenttoher.Lily’sheartrevvedashecamecloser,closer…Butheonlykissedhercheek.
“Closeyoureyes.Rest,”hemurmured.
“Whereareyousleeping?”
“I’llfigureitout.IwanttocheckinwithJackandreassureThorpebeforeIcallitanight.”
Hedidn’tsayanythingelse,justshutthedoorbehindhim.Shefeltalone—inabadway.Usually,shepreferredsolitude.Tonight,shesimplyfeltlonely
Lilytossed.Turned.Shapedherpillow.Rolledtoherside,thenherback.Everytimesheclosedhereyes,shesawterrororsadnessor…Stone,whoconfusedher.Lilyhadnoideahowlongshe’dbeenseekingsleep,onlythatthesheetshadturnedwarm,theceilingfanwascompletelyineffectiveagainsttheAugusthumidity,andshedidn’twanttolietherealoneanymore.
Asifhe’dreadherthoughts,Stoneopenedthedooramomentlaterandeasedinside,hisfootfallsnearlysilent.“You’renotasleep.”
Whyrehashtheobvious?“No.”
Hewatchedher,takingherin.Thenhereachedbehindhishead,grabbedahandfulofhisshirt,andpeeleditoff.Histattooscoveredbothshouldersandspilledontohispectorals.Hewaseverybitaspowerfullybuiltasshe’dimagined,andasshestared,shecouldn’tbreathe.
“Stone?”
Hedidn’tanswer,simplykickedoffhisshoesandshuckedhispants.Herbreathcaughtatthesightofhiminnothingbutapairofdarkbriefs.Heputunderwearmodelstoshame.Hisbody—andhiserection—lookedbeyondhard.
Buttheexpressioninhiseyesundidhermost.Understanding,concern,tenderness.Caring.God,whywashelookingatherthatway?
Hesaunteredtothebedandpulledbackthesheetsontheotherside.Lilythoughtsheshouldobjectbutshedidn’t.Shewantedtoknowwhatheintended,wasdesperatetofindoutwhatthoughtsbouncedaroundinhishead.
Whenheclimbedinbedbesideher,hedidnothingbutopenhisarmstoher.“Yes,Ihaveanerection.Iknowit,justlikeIknowyousawit.Restassured,Icancontrolit.Comehere.Iwanttoholdyouuntilyoufallasleep.”
Itwasasweetnotion.“Iwon’tbeabletonodoffwithsomeonetouchingme.”
Eventheideamadehershudder.
“Humorme.”Hemotionedhercloser.
NodenyingthathescaredLily,butapartofherjustcouldn’tpassuptheopportunitytotouchhim,feelhisstrength.Besides,hewouldn’tleaveherinpeaceuntilshecomplied.
Withasigh,sherolledoverandlaidherheadonhischestandlistenedtothebeatingofhisheart.
ChapterSeven
WHENStonewokejustaftersixa.m.withhisarmsallfullofLily,hewantedsobadlytowakeherwithakiss,thenrollherontoherbackandburyhimselfinsideher.Fornow,hefoundhimselfequallycontenttoholdherclose.
Throughthegrayfingersoflightfilteringthroughthebedroom’slonewindow,hewatchedhersleep.Shelookedyoungandsoinnocentthatithurt.Nestledagainsthisbody,she’drelaxedutterly,givinghimhertrust,eveniftemporarilyandunconsciously.Butifhelaywithhermuchlonger,hewouldwakeherupinawayguaranteedtofreakheroutandearnhimakickintheballs.Besides,hehadworktodoifhewantedthembothtobefree.
Stonecreptfromthebedandbrewedacupofcoffee.Nodoubt,heneededtheliquidbrainpowerbeforestartingthisday.
He’dbarelyswallowedhisfirstsipwhenJackColestrodethroughthedoor,carryingafewbags,whichhesetonthekitchentable.“Morning.”
“Hey.Lilyisstillsleeping.”
“Perfect.Howdidyoutwogetonlastnight?”
Nothalfaswellashewouldhaveliked,butshewasn’treadyforanyofthemillionandonesexualthoughtsburningbehindhisretinas.“She’swoundtight.Likewesuspected,trustisgoingtobeahugeissue.Anotherwomanmightsoftenupenoughtotellmesomethingthatresemblesthetruthaboutherpastinthenexttwoweeks,butI’mnotsureaboutthisone.Ican’taffordtochipawayatherslowly.”
“Nope,”Jackagreed,grabbingacupofcoffeeforhimself.
“I’vebeendevisingaplantocutthroughhersubterfugeabouthernameandpast.Ijustneedtogathermoreresearch.Shouldn’tbehard.Thenwe’llgetthetruthonthetablesowecanstartdealingwithit.”
“Isthisplangoingtosetyoubackinthetrustdepartment?”
“Probably,butnotforlong.Ijustdon’tseeamoreexpedientwaytostarttalkingaboutthetruth.”
“Youworkonthat.Inthemeantime,Ihavesomeinformationforyou.ThepresssaysthatCantonandhiswifeareheadedtoanundisclosedlocationforalovelyvacationoffthegridbeforewhat’sexpectedtobehisannouncementtojointheracetothegovernorship.”Jacksneered.“That’satalltale,fromwhatI’mhearing.Hiswifeisinrehab—again—andhe’ssupposedlygonecampingwithacoupleofhisaidessomewhereinTexasnearthecoast.”
“InAugust?Intheheat?”Stoneshookhisheadastheysatatthekitchentable.“That’sbullshit.Thistimeofyear,themosquitopopulationthereisinthemillions.Ifhe’sstayinginatent,they’lleathimalive.”
“HewouldknowthatsincehespenthissummersasakidwithhisgrandparentswholivednearGalveston.”
“Ontheotherhand,itwouldn’ttakehimtoolongtodrivefromGalvestontoDallas…orwhereverLilymighttravel.Iassumehebroughttheaidesalongtodohisdirtywork?Afterall,aguylikethathaspeople.”
“UnlessLilyispersonalenoughforhimtoriskeverything,yes.”Jackshrugged.
Yeah,theycouldspeculateabouttheplansofthisviolentassholealldayandstillbewrong.Stonedidn’twanttowastethetimeorenergynow.“Thanks.”
“Everythingelsegood?”AtStone’snod,hewenton.“We’vefinallygotdecentcellserviceouthererecently,sothatshouldmakecommunicatingeasy.I’vebroughtyouafewmoregroceries.Hollerifyouneedanythingelse.I’mgoingtokeepdrillingdownonCanton’slocation.”
“Ifthatsonofabitchisclose,Ineedtoknow.”
“Youdo.”Jacksighedandlookedasifheknewsomethinghedidn’twanttoimpart.“Ihavesomeothernews.SomehowAxelgotwindofLily’sexplodingcar.He’sheadinghomeonaflighttoDallasthisafternoon.”
ThatwasallStoneneeded,forAxeltocomeracingouthereandunderminewhatlittleprogresshe’dmadewithLily.Ifshehadsomeonetorelyonthatshetrustedmore,Stoneknewshe’dneverlooktohim.“Fuck.”
“Exactly.Thorpewilltrytoholdhimoffforafewdays.I’lldomybesttoembroilAxelinsomethingelsebut…Ican’tmakeanypromises.”
“Thorpestilldoesn’twanttotellAxelthat‘Misty’isn’treal?”
Jackshookhishead.“HethinksitwillonlysuckAxeldeeperintothesituation.I’veknowntheguyforalongtime.He’sgotahellofaprotectivestreak.He’lltakethatgirlunderhiswingagain.Probablyinsistonhidingher,too.Andmaybeshewouldlethim.Ithinkshe’drathergoonpretendingthatLilyTaylornolongerexists.”
“Iagree.”AndStoneintendedtoabsolveherofthatnotionthismorning.“Thanksforeverything.”
HeandJackworkedwelltogether,anditwasnicetohaveanallyinhiscornerrightnow.Theyalmostfeltlikefriends.StupidbecauseStoneknewhewasnohero.Butthatdidn’tseemtomattertothemanwhosatacrossthetable,sippingacupofjoe.
“Noproblem.Oh…”Jackstoodandfishedintohispocketandretrievedakey.“Iforgot.Ifyouwanttousetheplayroom,you’llneedthis.”
HedroppedthelittlesliceofpreciselyformedmetalintoStone’spalm.NoonehadsaidthatheshouldbeginearningLily’strustthroughsexorromance…buttheyclearlyweren’tagainstit.
Stoneleashedhisexcitementashepocketedthekey.“Perfect.I’lltouchbaseifthereareanydevelopmentshere.Callmeifyou’vegotnews.”
“Willdo.”
ThesecondJackleft,Stoneheadeddownthehalltowardthelockedplayroomdoor.HemaynothavestartedhissexlifeasaDominant,buthecouldn’tdenythathelikedbeingincontrol.
Ashepassedthebedroom,hespottedLily’sluggageandgrimaced.Gettinghiscoverstorystraightcamefirst,soheshovedthekeybackinhisjeansanddraggedthepiecesofherluggageintothelivingroom.
Onebyone,heopenedthem.Oncehefoundthedetailsheneededandherpastwasoutintheopen…Well,thatkeywasburningaholeinhispocket.Hedidn’tintendtoletitsmoldertheretoolong.
Fornow,hecrawledbackintobedwithher.Withinmoments,shecurledaroundhim.Hersoftnessandscentarousedhimasifshe’dstrokedherhanduphiscock.ButStoneresolvedtosavoreverymomentofthedelicioushelluntilshewoke.
***
LILYwokecozy-warmandwrappedinStone’sarms.Atsomepoint,she’dlaidherheadonhischestandsimplydroppedintoslumber.Inthepast,she’donlyeverdonethatwithAxel,andithadtakenhimmonthstocoaxthenecessarytrustfromher.Stonehadbrokendownthatbarrierinnexttonotime.
Ohmygod
Shejerkedoutofhisarmsandjackknifedup,staringoutthewindowthatwascoveredingauzyblackdrapes.Sunlightstreamedfromhighinthesky.Shehadn’tjustsleptthroughthenight;she’dconkedoutandsnoozedthroughmostofthemorning,too.
Staringdownatthemuscled,mostlynakedex-con,Lilywasn’tsureshewantedtoknowwhyshe’dtrustedhimonanylevelsoreadilyandeasily.
“Youdon’thavetojumpup.Wehavenowheretogo,”hesaidlazily,hiseyesstillclosed.
Sheswallowedhardandtriedtobreathe.Somuchintimacy…Theirbodieswerenearlyplasteredtogether.Thesheetssmelledlikehim,woodsy,musky.Intoxicating.
Detrimentaltohermentalhealth.
“I-Ishouldgetup.”
WhenLilytriedtocrawlfromthebed,Stoneclampedahandaroundherwrist,nothardenoughtohurtherbuttightenoughtomakecertainsheknewhedidn’twanthertoleave.“We’regoingtotalk.”
Meaningheplannedtoaskherallthequestionsshe’drefusedtoanswerlastnight.
“I’vealreadytalkedasmuchasIintendto.”Sheyankedherarm,buthedidn’tgiveaninch.“Letgo.”
Hecrackedhiseyesopen,andhisdarkexpressiontoldherthathewasn’tinthemoodforpushback.“Here’swhat’sgoingtohappen:Youhavetenminutesinthebathroom.Brushyourteeth,washyourface,changeyourclothes—whateveryouneedtodo.Thenyou’llcomebackhereandlistentosomethingsIhavetosay.”
Lilydidn’twanttoagree,butitwouldgiveherareasontoescapethedizzyingmasculinityofhispresenceandlethercollectherwitsagain.
“Fine.”
Whenhereleasedher,sheescapedandtookeverysecondofthosetenminutesinthebathroom,plusanotherfewtosteadyherself.
Finally,hepoundedonthebathroomdoor.“Time’sup.AndIhavecoffee.”
Whensheemerged,shefoundhiminyesterday’sclothes.He’dobviouslycleanedupsomewhere.Kitchen?Moreimportant,heheldtwomugsofsteamingbrew.
“Followme.”Hecockedhisheadtothebedroom.“Sit.”
Warily,sheperchedontheedgeofthebed.Herewardedherbyhandingheramugofliquidcaffeine.Stonesatontheothersideandsippedhiscoffee,staringatherovertherim.
“Didyousleepwell?”
Sheflushed.“YouknowIdidsinceitappearsIsleptalloveryou.”
Hefrowned.“Thatbothersyou.Why?”
“BecauseIdon’ttrustyou.”Butthatwasn’tentirelytrue.Somepartofherregisteredhimasnonthreateningtoherphysicalsafetyorshewouldneverhavesleptfiveminutesbesidehim,muchlesstenhours.
“MaybeIdon’ttrustyou,either.”
“Whatdoesthatmean?”Shefrowned.“It’snotlikeI’mgoingtorapeyou.”
Hesethiscoffeedownonthenightstandbesidehim.“AndI’mnotgoingtorapeyou.IfI’dwantedtolastnight,itwouldhavebeendamneasy,”hepointedoutwithanacerbicsmile.“Butasithappens,Idon’twantyouanywayexceptwilling,panting,andbegging.”
Awaveofheatrolledthroughherbodyathiswords.She’dsayhewasthinkingwishfully,butwhenshehadawakenedallplasteredagainsthim,herrationalmindhadnearlypanickedwhileherbodyhadn’twantedtoletgo.Ifshedidn’tsteelherselfagainsthim,wouldallthatneedingandwhimperinghe’ddescribedcomenext?
Trashingthethought,sheshookherhead.“Youkeepdreamingbig.”
Stonesentherasmileofsupremeconfidence.
Hisexpressionsetheroff.“Wipethatsmarmylookoffyourface.Orareyousoconvincedyou’regod’sgifttowomenandthat,ofcourse,I’mgoingtofallallovermyselftogetyourpantsoffandjumponyourpenis?”
Heburstoutlaughing.“No,baby.I’mconvincedtheheatbetweenuscan’tbedenied.Butyou’refunny,whichisapointinyourfavor.BecauseIalsoknowyou’relyingtome,whichisn’t.”
“Lying?”Achillranthroughher,leachingoutalltheheatshe’dfeltonlymomentsbefore.“Whatdoyoumean?”
Stonereachedbehindhim.Shethoughthemeanttograbhismugandswigthecoffee,butheturnedbackaroundwithanall-too-familiarblacktomeinhandanddumpeditonthebedbetweenthem.
Shegasped.“Youhadnoright…”
Whenshereachedforheryearbook,hegrabbedherwrist.“LilyAlexandraTaylor.That’swhoyoureallyare.Youliedtome,Thorpe,Axel…everyone.Andyoudiditforyears.Don’tdenyit.OnceIsawthisnameembossedonthefrontofthecover,Ilookedupthecorrespondingpicture.ImaginemysurprisetofindoutthatMistyisn’tyournameatall.AfewInternetsearchesgavemeawholelotofinformationaboutyou,likethefactthatyou’reconsideredateenrunaway.”
Lilyshookherhead,alreadytryingtospinmoretalestothrowStoneofftrack.Buthisdarkstarerippedawayhercomposure,warningherthathealreadykneweverystoryshe’dconcoctnowwouldbebullshit.
“You’regettingyourselfintosomethingyoudon’tunderstand.Pleasedon’tdothis.”
“YouthinkIdon’tgetamanlikeTimothyCanton?”Hescoffed.
HearingStonesaythatmonster’snamemadeLilyfreezefromheadtotoe.Shegapedathim.“You…”
“Figuredoutthenameoftheguytormentingyou?Nottootough.Thepolicequestionedyouabouthim.Youdisappearedlessthanaweeklater.Icanputtwoandtwotogether.He’sjustathugwhoputalittlespitandpolishonhisstreetcredandfiguredouthowtomorphhisdrugmoneyintopoliticalpower.He’snothardtounderstand.”
Stonehadguessedthetruthsoquicklyandaccurately.Ifhecouldfigureoutallthatinanight,whatelsecouldhedivineduringthenextfewdays?Weeks?
“Sonowthatyourbigsecretisout,whydon’tyoutellmewhathappenedsowecanstartworkingtogethertotakehimdown?”
Shescrambledoffthebed,shovinghermugonthelittlenightstandandshakingherheadfrantically.“Thereisnotakinghimdown.You’reinsane.”
Stoneclimbedoffthebedandblockedherpathtothedoor.“You’reinsaneifyou’dratherkeeprunningthantry.”
“Iknowwhathe’scapableof.There’snowayIcanstophim.”
“Ifnotyou,thenwho?YoumakehimsoundbiggerthanGodzilla,likehe’sdefeatedeveryoneelsewho’severcomeupagainsthim.”
“Yes!”Shedidn’tknowhowelsetomakehimunderstand.
“Unlessyouwanthimtokeepdestroyingotherinnocentlivesandkilling,itsoundsasifyou’retheonlyonewhocanmakesurehegetswhathedeserves.”
ThatgaveLilypause.She’dconsideredthatbefore,butshelackedthedeviousnessandthemighttovanquishhimalone.Yetifshedied,someofhisworstsecretsdiedwithher.Thennoonewouldeverknowtheterribletruth.Thethoughtofdoingnothingtostophimfromkillingsomeoneelse’slovedonesanddestroyingtheirfamiliesslashedhermorethanavaguesenseofshame.
Shedroppedherfaceinherhands.Tearsdidn’tcome.Ofcourse,itcouldn’tbethateasy.Whyshouldshebeallowedtopurgeallthisgriefandguiltandmoveon?
“Solet’sstartatthebeginning.”Hisvoicehadgonegentle,butshedidn’tmistakethesteelbeneath.“Howdidyoucomeintocontactwiththisfucker?”
Wasshegoingtoanswerthatquestionandputhimatrisk,too?Butifshedidn’t,wouldn’tshebeleavingotherunsuspectingpeopleindanger?God,shedidn’tseearightanswer.
“Ineedtimetothinkaboutthis.”
Stoneshookhisheadbeforesheevenfinishedspeaking.“That’sonethingwedon’thave.WehavetoshutCantondownnow.He’sabouttodeclarehiscandidacyforgovernorofCalifornia.Sounlessyouwanthiminchargeofthewholestateanditspopulation…”
ShockpeltedLily.Shecouldn’tbreathe.Herfeetalmostwentnumbbeneathher.“Thatcan’tbe.Everyonefromtheneighborhoodknowshe’saviolentdrugdealerandacrook.”
“Well,he’sneverbeenconvictedofanything,sowiththerightspindoctors,hispastlookslikepolicebullyingandsmeartacticsfromhisopponents,bothpoliticalandotherwise.”Hesentheracynicalsmile.
Feelingdizzyandcold,sheclappedahandoverhermouthatthethoughtofsomeonelikeTimothyCantonbeinginchargeoflaws,taxes…andchildren
Asshereachedouttosteadyherself,shestumbled.Stonewasrighttheretocatchher.“Together,wecanputhimdown.”
Sheturnedtohim,incredulitydroppingherjaw.“Whyareyoubothering?”
“You’veaskedmethisquestion.”
“Istilldon’tunderstandtheanswer.”
“Letmemakemyselfclear.”
Stonepulledherbodyagainsthisandgrabbedhercheeks.Hestared,hisexpressiondelvingdeep.Shefeltthezingandjoltoftheirconnection.Withhisgaze,itseemedasifhewilledhertounderstandthathewantedherineverywayandrefusedtoacceptanythingless.
Lily’sheartbegantothrum.Herbloodheatedandchargedthroughherveins.Herbreaststightened,andshereallydidn’twanttothinkaboutwhyshecouldfeelthesoftachebloomingloweragain.Shewaited,suspended,anticipationracingoverherskin.Yes,sheshouldpushhimaway.
Somehow,shecouldn’t.
Hebenttoher,swoopingdown,loomingcloser.Rightorwrong,goodorbad—itdidn’tmatter.Lilyrosetomeethim,clutchinghishardshoulderswithdesperatefingersandpressingherselfagainsthimwithagaspashecapturedherlips.
Justlikethefirsttime,hedidn’thesitateortesthiswelcome.No,hecuppedherjawinhisbighandsandtiltedherheadtohissatisfactionbeforehedevouredherasifhe’dbeendyingforhertaste.
Theirbreathsmingled,andshesankagainsthissolidwarmth.Whatwasthischemicalreactiontohimthatshecouldn’tseemtofight?Whydidherwilltoresistalwaysevaporateassoonashetouchedher?Inthatmoment,hefeltnotonlylikesomeonewhocouldprotectherfromeverythingbadintheworldbutlikethemanwhocouldbringherbody—maybeevenhersoul—tolife.
Lilyclungtothetautbulgesofhisbicepsandopenedtohimeagerly.Latershe’dworryaboutwhatshe’ddoifStonewasn’tallheclaimed.She’dhadsolittlepleasureinherlife,andLilywantedtodrownintheblisshegavehernow.
Suddenly,hewrenchedaway,breathinghardandstaring,asifheneededtoaffirmthatshefoundtheirkisseverybitasmind-blowingashedid.Shedidn’tanswerwithwords,justgrippedhimtighter,unabletohidethedesirejettingthroughherinahotwhirl.Therushofitwasscaryashellbutnew,exhilarating.Awhite-knuckledthrill.Shewasn’treadytolethimgo.
“Lily,”hebreathedbeforehecockedhisheadanddescendedagain.Theirlipsfusedtogetheroncemore.Theirtonguescollided.Andshemeltedinhisarms.No,sheunraveledcompletelyashetookhermouthinanurgentpress,claimingherwhileutterlydismantlingherresistance.
Whenshefeltlimpandbreathlessandwillingtodoanythingformore,hebackedaway.“Areweonthesamepagenow?”
“Youcanhavesexwithanyone,”sheblurted.
“ButwhenI’mwithsomeoneelse,Ican’thavesexwithyou.Besides,it’saboutmorethanthat.Idon’tliketoseeyouhurtorafraid.Whenyousmile,Ifindmyselfdoingthesame.Ihaveacrazy,maybeirrationalneedtopursueyou.I’mnotfightingit,andIwishlikehellyouwouldn’t.”
Weirdly,sheunderstoodexactlywhathemeant.Herneedtobewithhimseemedcrazyandirrationaltoher,too.Butthatdidn’tmakeitanylessreal.
Sheslumpedagainsthim.“Idon’tunderstand.”
“I’mnotsurewe’remeanttounderstand,baby.Justdeal.”
Maybehewasright.Whatevershefeltwasn’tsomethingshecouldanalyzeorcontrolbut…
“It’sallhappeningtoofast.Us,thisthingwithCanton…”
“Ifyoudragyourfeet,youmaybetoolatetosaveyourselforanyoneelse.Haven’tyoukepthissecretslongenough?Whyshouldyoubeareverythingalone?Icanhelpyou.”Hebrushedhisknucklesalonghercheek.“Iwanttohelpyou.Youjusthavetoletme.”
Lilyblinkedbackathim.Howmanytimeshadshefelttheweightoftheuglypastpressingdownonherchestuntilshecouldn’tbreathe?Howoftenhadshewishedthatshecouldshareallthefearsandwretchedguiltwithatleastonepersonwhowouldunderstand?
“IfItellyouwhatyouwanttoknow,Idon’thaveanyproof.Howcouldwepossiblytakehimdown?”
“IfIknowwheretolookthroughhisrecords,Icanunearthhissecrets.Wecanturnthemovertothepolice.Jackwouldhelp.SowouldtheEdgingtonbrothers.I’llbetSeanMackenziewouldusehisresources,too.”
“TheFBI?”ThethoughtofgettingtangledupwiththefedsscaredthehelloutofLily.Wouldtheypunishherforwithholdingthetruthforsolong?
Ontheotherhand,hadn’tsheearnedit?
Stonenodded.“Somebranchoflawenforcementwithteethisgoingtohavetogoafterhim.”
Shefrowned.Somehowshe’dimaginedthatanex-conwouldadvocateamorevigilanteformofjustice,likeflat-outkillingCantonhimself,butifhewasn’taviolentcriminal,shesupposedhisinvolvingcopsoragentsmadesense.
“I’mscared,”shewhispered,barelyhearingherselfoverthewhooshoftheairconditionerkickingintocombattheheat.
“Iknow.”Hereachedforherhandandsqueezedit.“I’mgoingtohelpyou,butIneedmoredetails.HowdidyoucomeintocontactwithCanton?”
***
LILYbowedherheadandlookedasifshewasgatheringhercourage.Stonedidn’tthinksheintendedtosayanythingforalongmoment,andhetriedtosortthroughotherargumentshemightusetopersuadeher.
“Cantonwasthelocaldruglord,”shebeganhesitantly.“Herananentireneighborhoodwithatightfistedruleandenforceditwithabsoluteviolence.Hetriedtoappearupstanding,buteveryonewhoknewhimknewthetruth.MyfriendErin—herbrother,Corey,wasoneofhisstreetdealers.Theirdadhadrunoffandleftthemwithnomoney.Theirmomwasabingedrinker.Coreywasjusttryingtofeedhimselfandhisyoungersister,keeparoofovertheirheads.Theyhaditrough.Butthen,thewholeneighborhooddid.”
“Sowhathappened?”
Shedraggedinajaggedbreath.“Coreygotarrested.Atthetime,hismomwasinjailfordrivingwhileintoxicated.Hewasworriedabouthissister.Erinwasmybestfriend,onlyfifteen.I’mguessinghedidn’twantchildprotectiveservicescomingtogether.I’msurehedidn’tlikejail,either.Forwhateverreason,hegavethepoliceinformationaboutCanton’soperations.Theydraggedthescuminforquestioningbutcouldneverproveanything,sohegotoff.Whilemybestie’sbigbrotherwastryingtolielow,Cantondecidedhe’dmakeanexampleofCorey’sfamily.”Wringingherhands,shepaused,shuttinghereyesasshegatheredherfortitude.“HeandsomeofhisthugsrapedandkilledErin.”
“Afifteen-year-oldgirl?”Motherfucker.Stonehadknownthat,buthearingtheanguishinhervoicesomehowmadeitmorereal.“Andyousaw?”
Shenodded,tearspoolinginhereyes.“Yeah.HediditsimplybecauseCoreywastryingtobebraveandescapehislifeofcrime.”
“Cantonknowsyousawtheincident?”
“Yes.”
“Heletyougoafterward?”
Shehesitated.“Yes.”
Heranswerdidn’tmakesense.
“Why?”Stonescowledandtriedtodissectherwithaglance.
WhenLilyshruggedandbowedherhead,unabletolookathim,itconfirmedhisinstinctsandmadehisgutsclench.Heneededtokeepdigging.
“WhywouldacarefulbastardlikeCantonletsomeonewhocouldbothidentifyhimandturnwitnesswalkfreeafteracrimesoheinous?”
“I-Idon’tknow.”
Stonedidn’tbelieveherforaninstant.“I’mnotstupid.Tryagain.”
“IguessCantonwantedmetotellCoreyeverythingthathappenedsothathe’dknowbetterthantotestify.”
Maybe,butthatstillsoundedoff.“Whydidn’tCantonjustkillCorey?Whywouldheleaveyoutotelltheguyandpotentiallycreateanotherenemy?”
“Idon’tknowwhyCantondidn’tjustoffhim.Ican’treadhismind.MaybebecausenoonecouldfindCorey.”
“Noone?Notevenyou?”
Lilyshookherhead.“Ineversaworheardfromhimagain.”
“SoyouneverhadthechancetotellCoreywhathappenedtohissister?”
“No.”
Stoneheardawealthofguiltinthatoneword.She’dbeentearingherselfupaboutthisforyears.Becauseshehadn’tbeenabletosaveErinGutierrez?BecauseLilyhadsurvivedandherfriendhadn’t?“Didyoutellthepoliceanythingafteryouwitnessedyourfriend’smurder?”
“Iwantedto,butIdidn’tdare.”Lilyhadgoneghostlywhiteandhesensedherterror,evenafteralltheseyears.“Butsomehow,thecopsfoundoutIsaworknewsomething.Theydraggedmeinandaskedmealotofquestions.”Shestoppedandwrappedherarmsaroundhermiddle,staringresolutelyatthefarwallandlookingsofragile.“Ican’ttalkaboutthisanymorerightnow.”
Stonestudiedherandscrubbedahandoverhischin.HesuspectedthiswaswhenCantonhadkilledhermotherandlittlebrother.Asbadlyashewantedtopressherfordetails,Stonefearedshewouldbreak.Whatshe’denduredhadbeenalotforanyonetohandle,muchlessachild.“We’llleaveitherefornow.”
Sheclosedhereyeswearily.“I’mevenscaredtotalkaboutit.WhenIwasateenager,Cantonhadeyesandearsallovertheneighborhood.Justlikethen,I’mafraidhe’slurkingaroundacornernow,waitingtokillme.Forthepastfewdays,I’dbeenfeelingasifsomeonewaswatchingme.NowIknowIwasright.”
Stonejolted.“Whodidyouthinkwaswatchingyou?”
“Idon’tknow.Iranintothisguyacoupleoftimesaroundtownoverthepastfewdays.Ionlynoticedhimbecausehestaredalot.”
“You’resexy,baby.”
Shedismissedthatimmediately.“Hedidn’tlookatmelikehewantedme.Hestaredaholethroughme.”
ThatsetoffStone’sprotectiveinstincts.“Hadyouseenhimanywherebefore?”
“NotthatIremember.”
“Didyougetagoodlookathim?Howtall?Race?Distinguishingmarksortattoos?”
“Hewasprobablyfivefootten.WhiteorlightHispanic.Heworeabaseballcap,soIreallydidn’tgetagoodlookathisface.”Sheshrugged.“ThefirsttimeIsawhimIjustthoughthewascreepy.WhenIspottedhimthenextday,Iwantedtoflee.”
Unfortunately,herdescriptionsoundedlikealotofmenandwasn’tenoughtohelphimnarrowdownanidentity.“Didyoutellanyone?”
“No.”
Ofcoursenot.She’dbeenbelievingforyearsthatshewastrappedinthishellalone.
“Fromnowon,youtellme.”
“Stone…”Sheglancedhisway,herchocolateeyespleadingwithhimtodropthequestioning.
“Noarguingaboutthis.I’mgoingtotakecareofyou.Together,we’regoingtofixthis.”
“But—”
Hecutheroffwithagentlepressofhislipstohers.Nomatterhowbadlyhewantedto,Stonedidn’tnudgehermouthopenandtasteheragain.Hedidn’ttrytopeelherclothesawayandlowerhertothebed.Hemerelytoldherwithoutwordsthathewasthereforher.
Slowly,shestoppedtrembling.Theirbreathingsyncedup.Sherelaxedagainsthimwithasigh.“Youknow,youconfuseme.”
“How’sthat?”
Lilyfrowned,lookingasifshewashavingatoughtimeputtingherthoughtsintowords.“AlotofcraphappenedwhenIwassixteen.PeopleI’dknownmywholelifebackedawayfromme.Theydidn’twanttogetinvolvedbecausetheywereterrifiedofCanton.Mymotherthrewmeoutofthehouse.Oneofthejanitorsletmesleepatschoolforawhile,buteventuallyhetoldmeIcouldn’tstay.Neighborswouldn’ttakemein.Myboyfriendbrokeupwithme.I’dbeenworkingatadiner,butwhenImissedafewdays,theyfiredme.Overnight,everyoneI’deverreliedonwasgone.”
Whathadthatdonetohertrustinpeople?Stonecouldonlyimaginehowagirlwouldhaveprocessedsuchviolencefollowedbythatkindofbetrayal.
“Baby,I’mhere.”
“Itseemsthatway.”Hereyeslookedsuspiciouslyfullwithtears,buttheyneverspilled.Hewouldn’thaveblamedherifsheboohooedhereyesoutafterthattale.Instead,shesuckeditup.“Ibarelyknowyou,andyou’vebeenunderstandingandhelpfulandkindofperfecteverytimeI’veturnedaround.Thanks.”
Stoneknewdamnwellthatifshehadanyideathatheneededhertotestify,she’dtakeeveryoneofthosewordsback.Butafterhearingherstory—atleastthepartsshewantedtotellhim—howcouldhenotwanttohelphergetherlifeback?
“You’rewelcome.”Hetriedtoswallowhisguiltandturnonthecharm.“Iknowonewayyoucanrepayme.”
“I’mnothavingsexwithyouasawayofsayingthanks.Trustme,I’mdoingyouafavor,”sheassured.
Hewantedtotellherthatshemustbecompletelywrong.Withherhairgatheredintoaponytailawayfromhernakedface,shelookedsoearnestandinnocent,yetstillsexy.Sure,helikedthemysteriouscateyesshecreatedwithallthatblackeyelinerandherbloodredlips,thestockingsthatshowcasedherslenderlegs,andthefigure-huggingclothessheworethatwereoftendecoratedwithpolkadotsorbows.Butwhoshewasunderallthatintriguedhimevenmore.
Whenhe’dfirstmether,Stonethoughtshe’dbeenaprettymouse,tooshytocomeoutofherholeandtooafraidtotestify,eventhoughjusticereallyneededtobeserved.Nowhesawhowincrediblystrongshewastosimplyhavesurvivedallthatasateenagerandthenstartherlifeoveragain.
“No,you’regoingtohavesexwithmeeventuallybecausewebothwantitandyoudon’twanttosaynoanymore.AndI’mgoingtoprovetoyouthatyou’reanincrediblewomanbothinandoutofbed.”Hekissedherforeheadandreleasedher.Hedidn’twanttodoanythingthatwouldpressLilyformorebeforeshewasready.“WhatIwantnowissomethingIcan’tdoformyself.Soyousee,I’mnotperfect,kindoforotherwise.Sowouldyouputmeoutofmymiseryandmakemesomebreakfast?”
ChapterEight
THEdaypassed.Afteradinnerofsimplechickenandrice,StonedidthedisheswhileLilyfilledthetubinthebathroomontheothersideofthekitchenwall.Ashestuckhishandsinsudsywater,hetriedtofocusoncleaningplates.ThatwasliketryingtothinkofGrandmaduringsextostaveofforgasm—annoyingandineffectual.
Afterhe’dslippedbackintobedthatmorningwithLilyandwaitedforhertowake,she’dcurledupagainsthim,onethighthrownoverhis.Ithadfeltlikethelongesthourofhislife.Warmandsoftandsmellingsofemale,she’ddrivenhimcrazy.IthadbeenallStonecoulddotoresistfindingoutforhimselfwhethershewaswearingunderwear.Buthe’dbeenagoodboyandhadn’tcoppedacheapfeeltoanswerhisquestion.
Whenhe’dconfrontedherwithhertrueidentity,Lilyhadretreatedintohershell,obviouslytryingtogetherbearingsagain.Besidestidyingupthecabin,shehadreadabookfromtheshelfinthelivingroomaboutCajunhistory.Theplacedidn’thaveanyTV,soshe’dwatchedamovieonhisphoneandcaughtuponherfavoritepopculturesites.Dinnerhadbeenalmostsilent.He’dwilledhertosaysomethingwhenhe’dtriedtoengageher.She’donlyspokenonce.
“Whoelseknowsmyrealname?”she’daskedasshepickedatherrice.
“ThorpeandSean.”
“WhichmeansCallieknows.”Aflashofangercrossedherface.“You’reputtingthemindanger.”
“Don’tyouthinktheyhavearighttoknowwhothey’reharboringsotheycanbepreparedincaseCantonshowsup?”
Herguiltyexpressiontoldhimthatshesawhispointandhadn’tconsidereditinthatlight.
“Theywon’tcastyouout,”hereassured,takingherhand.“JackColeknows,too.He’shelpingme.We’retryingtotrackdownCanton’swhereaboutsnowandseeifwecanfigureoutwherehe’sbeenandwhathe’sbeenuptolately.Ihackedintohissystem.AllIcanseeisthathedoesn’tliketodomuchonhiscomputerbesidesplayfantasyfootballandwatchporn.IfIdidn’tknowbetter,hisGooglesearcheswouldconvincemehe’safourteen-year-old.”
“Ididn’tsayhewassmartorsophisticated,”shedrawled.“Justthathehadasharpcriminalmind.”
“I’llstartlookingathisstaffandbuddiesnext.”
Shenoddedabsently,thenwithdrewherhand.“DidThorpetellAxelaboutme?”
Thatpossibilityseemedtodisturbhertothecore.Stonetriedtounderstandthatherformerprotectorhadbeenherpillar,andshewouldhaveanabidinginstinctnottodisappointtheman.ButStonewishedlikehellthatshewouldn’tdwellonherformerloverandhisfeelings.
Thatwouldstoptonight,assoonashecouldunderstandherattachmenttoAxelwellenoughtodiscernhowtoworkaroundit.
Stonewasn’tstupidenoughtofixateonhisurgetoslideLily’snakedbodyagainsthisandfillherwithhisachingcockwhentheyhadimportantcatch-a-killerthingstodo.ButwhilehewaitedonJackandotherstoinvestigateCanton’slocationandplots,heandLilyhadsolittlediversionintheswamp.Hefoundithardtothinkaboutmuchotherthanher.Besides,AxelwasduetolandinDallasinafewhours.Iftheguywasflyinghomefromanothercontinentbecauseheworriedabout“his”SweetPea,StonedoubtedthatAxelwasgoingtoletlittlethingslikealongrideinthecarorastatelinestophimfromreachingLily.
Stoneknewdamnwellhehadtofigureouthowtobecomeimportanttoher—tonight—orhe’dprobablyloseherthesecondAxelwalkedin.
ThatdamnkeyJackhadgivenhimearlierstillburnedaholeinhispocket.Afterhestackedthelastofthecleandishesonthetowelonthecounterbesidehim,hecreptdownthehalltothelockeddooradjacenttothesurveillanceroom.
Afteraturnofthekey,Stonestopped.Apaddedtableinthecenteroftheroomtookupmostofthespace.Besidesthat,acoupleofwhatlookedlikeexercisematshadbeenspreadacrossthefloor.Shelveswerefilledwithplasticshoebox–sizecontainers,eachstoringitsowntoy.Awallofpegboardheldwhips,floggers,restraints.Itwasn’tfancyorelegant,butitwaseffective.
Hewalkedtheperimeteroftheroom,staring,hisfootstepsloudintherelativesilence.Heneededagameplanandheneededitfast.AccordingtowhatJackandLoganhadtoldhimviaThorpe,LilyhadneverallowedanyoneatDominiontotouchherexceptAxel.Asfarastheyknew,themanhadneverpunishedherwithpainorhumiliation.Stoneunderstoodwhy,knowingwhatshe’dwitnessedasagirl.Axelhadn’trewardedherwithsex,thougheveryonesuspectedthatheandLilyhadsometimeshadit.Andstill,sheclaimedshedidn’tenjoyitandwasn’tanygoodatit.
SoAxelhadbothpunishedandrewardedLilywithhiswords.Stoneknewhehadtobedifferentwithoutcrossingtoomanyofherboundaries.
Tallfuckingorderwhen,asSeanpointedout,hisknowledgewasalltheoretical.Buttherewasafirsttimeforeverythingandhiswasnow.He’dfinallytopLilytonight.
Stonedrewinadeepbreathandcenteredhimself.ThatDominantpartheincreasinglyidentifiedwithfilledhim,expandinghislungs,makinghisbloodrace.Hehadtokeephiscool,focusonher,andnotlosehisheadtotheneedsofhisdick.
Beforeshemadeitoutofthetub,hefoundafewimplementshehopedwouldinterestherandspreadthemoutonanarrowtableunderarowofshelves.Hedimmedthelightsintheroom,thenshutthedoor.
Assheemergedfromthebathroom,dressedinthatsplotchy,ugly-assT-shirthesuspectedsheworetoturnhimoff,heblockedherpathbeforesheheadedbacktothelivingroom.
“Ihavemorequestionsforyou.”
Shesighedandsenthimanexpressionthatsaidshe’dratherenduresomecrazyChinesefingernailtorturethantalkaboutherpast.
“They’renotaboutCanton,”heassured.
“Oh.”Shelookedrelieved.“Okay.”
“Italsoisn’tarequest.”
Assoonashiswordswereout,shefroze.Theawarenessonherfacetoldhimthatsheunderstoodthecommandinhistone.“Idon’tknowifIcandothiswithyou.”
“Dowhat?”Hewantedtobeperfectlyclearthatsheunderstood.
“Submit.”Shedroppedhergazeandbowedherhead.
Lilywasn’tsureshecouldsubmittohim?Unconsciously,shejusthad.
Stoneliftedhispalmandstrokedhercrown,thenbenttokissthetopofherhead.“Youdon’tknowuntilyoutry.”Heheldouthishand.“Ithinkyoucan.Comewithme.”
Shehesitated,hergazetornandfixedonhisoutstretchedhand.Shedebatedsolong,Stonefeltsureshe’drefuse.Somethinginhischestwrenched.Howthefuckcouldhepersuadethisbruised,woundedwomantoputherfaithinhim?
Beforehecoulddevisesomeotherideatowinherover,Lilyslidherhandintohis.“I’lldomybest.”
Itwasn’tapromise,andhe’dwantedone.Logically,Stoneknewshecouldsimplybreakit,somaybeherhonestywasbetter.
Heledhertotheplayroomandeasedthedooropen.Ashesteppedin,shegotherfirsteyefulandgasped.
“Youdidn’texpectthis?”
“No.”Sheshookherhead.“Wow…Iwouldneverhaveimaginedaplacewitharefrigeratorbuiltaroundthesameyearmygrandmawasborntocomeequippedlikethis.”
Stonelaughed.Helikedherslightlyoffbeatobservationsandsenseofhumor.Shehadalottobeseriousabout,butsomehowshemadehimlaughwhenheleastexpectedit.
“I’mfullofsurprisestonight.Kneelonthematoverthere,andwe’llnegotiate.”
Hersmilefaded,andhewouldhavelamenteditslossifaprettyblushhadn’ttakenitsplace.“Yes,Stone.”
Thewayshesaidhisname,withthesamereverenceshe’dsay“Sir,”madehimhardandmoredeterminedthanevertowinherover,bodyandsoul,tonight.
Withoutaword,sheapproachedthemats.Suddenly,shestopped.“Um,I’veonlyeverdonethiswithAxel.Whenwewerealone,Iusuallywore…somethingdifferent.”
Stonewouldratherseeherwearsomethingotherthanthegarmentsshe’denticedAxelwith,butthiswasn’tabouthim.“Doyouneedtowearthattonighttobecomfortable?”
Lilyhesitated.“Ithinkso.It’spartofmyritual,givesmecomfort.”
Sinceshehadeveryshredofclothingsheownedwithher,Stonecockedhisheadinthedirectionofthehall.“Goahead.”
“I’lljustbeaminute.”
Thewomanwastruetoherword,butitseemedlikeadamnlongminute.CuriositywaskillingStone.Heimaginedeverythingfromabodystockingtocompletenudity.Andhestartedtosweat.Ifsheshowedupwearingabsolutelynothing,wouldhebeabletousehisbrainandstayontopofthescene?
Whenshereturned,hespunaroundtoseehertiptoeintotheroom—andlosthisjawwhenitdroppedsomewherearoundhisknees.
Sheallbutfloatedinwearingawhitebabydollnightgownwithruffledstrapsoverhershoulders,almost-transparentflowersoverthepertswellsofherbreasts,awidebandaroundthewaistthattiedintoabigbowattheback,andsheerfabricthatbrushedherthighswitheverystep,clearlyrevealingthatsheworetinylacypantiesbeneath.
Howthefuckwashesupposedtousehisbrainifallthebloodheneededtopoweritfledsouthtohiscock?
“Isthisallright?”sheaskedsoftly.
Hecouldaccuseheroftryingtotorturehim,butshealreadylookedsouncertainthathedidn’tdareputheroff-balance—atleastnotyet.
“Youlook…”Stoneblewoutabreath.“I’mprobablynevergoingtoforgethowsexyyouarerightnow.”
Atremulouslittlesmilebrokeoutacrossherface.Hersweetblushfollowed.“Thankyou.”
“Justbeinghonest.”
Asshesanktoherkneesandsettledherselfonthemat,sheliftedbigeyestohim.“Beforewestart,canIaskyouaquestion?”
Thatgavehimpause,buthecouldn’texactlysaynoifhewantedtowinhertrust.“Sure.”
“Whydoweneedtobeinheredoingsomethingsopersonalifyou’rejustgoingtoaskmequestions?”
Stonehadanticipatedherwantingananswerforthat.Hepulledoverarollingstoolfromthecornerandsatinfrontofher,focusingutterlyonherandheralone.“Becausethequestionsarepersonalandwe’regoingtobuildtrustwhilewe’redoingit.What’sgoingon,bothwithCantonandwithus,istooimportanttohaveanythingless.”
Thelittlebitofchallengehe’dseenonherfaceslippedoff.“You’reright.It’sjust…everythingishappeningsofast.Iusuallytakemoretimetothinkaboutthings.”
“IfIcouldslowitdownforyou,Iwould.”Becausehecouldn’tnottouchher,hefilteredhisfingersthroughthesofthairathernape.“I’llbearasmuchforyouasIcan,butthat’sanotherreasonyouneedtotrustme.Ifyoudon’t,you’lltrytohandleeverythingyourself,thewayyouhaveforyears.Andyou’llhavenoonetoturntoifyougetoverwhelmed.”
Assoonasthewordswereoutofhismouth,heworriedshe’dpointoutthatshehadAxel.God,thethoughtevenmadeStonewanttogrithisteeth.
Instead,shenodded.“You’reright.Whatdoyouwanttoaskme?”
Hebreathedasighofrelief.
“First,weneedasafeword.Thinkofoneforme.I’dprefersomethingyou’veneverusedbefore.”Itmightbeabitselfish,buthe’drathershechoseonesolelyforthemandtheirtimetogether.
“Howabout…‘lunar’?”Sheglancedatthemoonrisingoutsidethewindowasthesunset.
“‘Lunar’itis.Ifyousaythat,I’llstopeverything,andwe’lldecidetogetherwhethertoproceeddifferentlyornotatall.Whatareyourhardlimits?”
“IfoundoutthatI’mnotgoodwithpain.Itrieditafewtimes.Thesensationstemporarilyblockedouteverythinginmyheadandmademelivestrictlyinthemoment.Thatwasniceatfirst.Butitalsoleftmerawandalonewithallmythoughtsoncetheycamerushingback.Ultimately,Ifeltworseafterward,notbetter.Ididn’thavethehearttotellAxelafterhe’dgonetosomuchtroubletofindasadist.Bythen,hewasgettinginvolvedwithMystery,soitdidn’tmatteranyway.Oh,I’mafraidofblindfolds.Anddefinitelynothingwithknivesorneedles.”Sheshuddered.
“AnywhereIcan’ttouchyou?”
Shesenthimanapologeticgaze,lookingabitlikeasadangelsurroundedbyherplatinumhairandfrothywhitegarment.“Ineverreallyknowuntilthatmoment.IttookAxelalongtimebeforeIwasmostlygoodwithhimtouchingmewheneverandwherever.”
Inotherwords,onceshe’dtrustedtheguy.Hadthattakenweeks?Months?Stonefinallydecidedhe’dbebetteroffnotknowing.Hehadtonighttomakethiswork.
“Iwanttounderstandyourexperienceandwhereyouareemotionally,”hetoldher.“HowlongwereyouunderAxel’sprotection?”
“Almostthreeyears.Thorpeaskedhimtolookafterme.Hetriedhimself.”Shesmiled.“IthinkhewastoodistractedbyCallieeventhen.Hisheartwasn’tinit.AxelandIgotalong,soitwasanaturalpairing.”
“WhydidThorpethinkyouneededsomeonetolookafteryou?”
“Itstartedasaprotectionmeasure.WhenIfirstcametoDominion,someoftheDomswantedtoplaywithme.Irefusedeveryone.WhenThorpeaskedwhy,ItoldhimIwasn’tready.FloatingthestoryaroundtheclubthatIbelongedtoAxelprecludedothersfrompropositioningme.”
Soithadn’tbeenanygrandloveshe’dfeltforAxel—atleastnotatfirst.“YoutrustedAxelandreliedonhim.Youwerefriends,right?”
“Yes.”
“Howmuchmorethanfriends?”
Shebowedherhead,finallybreakingtheireyecontact.Stonefeltthelossacutelyandrealizedthatwhenhecouldn’tseeher,hecouldn’treadher.Andhecouldn’thandlethat.
“Hedidhisbesttotakecareofme.”
“Youmeansexually?”
“Yes,”shesaidsosoftly.
Stonehadknownit,buthearingthatstillbuggedthepissoutofhim.“Andhetoppedyou,too?”
“Yes.”
“Didhespank,flog,whip,orotherwiseengageinimpactplaywithyou?”
“Notmuch.He’snotanysortofsadist.”
Painseemedtopushherbuttonsinthewrongway,andStonecouldeasilylivewithoutit.“Didherestrainyou?”
“Sometimes.AfterIcametotrusthim,thatgoteasier.Ievenlikediteverysooften.”
“Howoftendidyouhavesexwithhim?”
“Occasionally.”
Whatdidthatmean?Stonecrookedafingerunderherchinandliftedhergazeagain.“Howoccasionally?Onceamonth?”
Shegavehimaself-consciousshrug.“Morelikeonceortwiceayear.”
Heranswershockedthehelloutofhim.Themathmeantshe’dhadsexwithAxelamerehandfuloftimes?Thatstunnedhimalloveragain.Why?
Stonefrowned,mentallydebatingwhichofthethreequestionspeltinghisbrainwouldbestservehisneedsnext.Hefinallychosethemostpressing.“Becausehedidn’twantitmoreoftenoryoudidn’t?”
Lilytookalongtimeanswering.“Both.”
ThatstunnedStonesilentforalongmoment.Inonesense,itprobablyshouldn’thavesurprisedhimbecauseLilyclaimedshedidn’tenjoysex.Butwhyhadn’tAxelwantedhermore?Wasthatthereasonshebelievedshewasn’tanygoodatsex?
“Ithinkheusuallyhadsomeoneelseheenjoyedsexwithmore,”shevolunteered.Andshesoundedreallyshamedbythat.“Henevertalkedaboutitwithmebut…”
“Whousuallyinitiatedthesexwhenyouhadit?”
Hereyesfilledwithmoistureandherlowerliptrembled.“Canwetalkaboutsomethingelse?”
“No.Iaskedyouaquestion,Lily.”
“That’snotmynameanymore.”Shesniffled,buthertearsdidn’tfall.
“Yes,itis,”heshotback.“Italwayshasbeen.Itwillbeagain.You’renotMisty.”
“IpreferSweetPea.”
Stone’sfirstinstinctwastoshutherdownbuthecheckedit.Finally,heknewsomethingshewantedthathecouldgiveher.“Ifyouanswermyquestionstomysatisfaction,I’llcallyouthatfortherestofthenight.”
Sheponderedhiswordsforatensemoment.“Iinitiated.Always.”Sheslumpedhershoulders.“Axelnever…Hehelpedmebuthedidn’treallywantme,notlikethat.IonlyaskedhimwhenIneededtobeheldorgotsomecrazy-assideathatIcouldbeanormalwomanwithanormalsexdrive.Andeverytime,thewholeexercisewouldremindmeforanothersixmonthsormorethatthatwasn’ttrue.”
Swallowinginshock,Stonestaredather.Whensheturnedherfaceaway,hedroppedhisfingerandletherhaveamomentofpeacewithouthimstaringdownather.Withouthimdrillingintohersoul.
Deepinside,Lilyseemedtofeeleverybitasbrokenasshesounded.Hesawthatonherface.Hearditinthecatchofhervoice.Damnit
“Didheevergiveyouanorgasm?”
“Sometimes.WhenIcouldgetoutofmyheadenough,andwehadafewhourstodevotetothecause.LikeIsaid,I’mnotverygoodatit.”Shesoundedbothshamedanddepressedbythat,too.
StonehadasuspicionthatthoughAxelhadn’tintendedit,theguyhadmadeherfeelmorelikeaburdenthanawoman.Nowonderorgasmhadbeendifficultandrare.
“Doyoulovehim?”
“Yes.”
Herquickanswerslappedhim.Stoneclenchedhisfists.
“Asmorethanafriend?”heclarified.
Lilydidn’tanswerrightaway.“Maybe.He’stheonlymanI’vehadanysortofrelationshipwithasanadult.He’stalkedmethroughsomanyofmyfears.I’msureyouthinkI’mstillaheadcase,butI’mwaybetternowthanIusedtobe.”
Sheprobablydidseeitthatway,andmaybeitwastrue.Butthatwasn’tlove.Stonesimplyhadtoprovethattoher.AndthaturgewaswaymoreabouthisownfeelingsforLilythanhisneedtopersuadehertotakethestand.
“Whenwefirstgottogether,Icouldn’ttoleratesexatall.He’shelpedmewithsomecopingmechanisms,”sheadded.
Stonewasn’tsurewhethertoshakeAxel’shandorpunchhimintheface.Maybeboth.Andmaybehe’dhadotherreasonsforbeingintimatewithLilyonlywhenshe’daskedforit.Whatever.Thatwasdoneandover.NowStoneintendedtodoeverythingdifferentwithouttriggeringherfears.
“Thankyouforyourhonesty.Iknowitwasn’teasy.”
“Beingdishonestaboutmyfeelingsandneedsultimatelyhurtsmemorethanyou,”shesaid,almostasifshewererecitingsomethingthathadbeendrummedintoherhead.
WhileStonesupposedthestatementwastrue,hesuspectedhehadAxeltothankforthat,too.
“Ithurtsbothofus,”hecorrected.“Look,I’mnottryingtogetlaidrightnow;Iwanttohelpandunderstandyou.I’mdoingmybesttomakeyoulikemewithinthecontextofourlarger,moredangeroussituationwithyourpast.IhaveafeelingthattrustbetweenuswillbeimportantifwebothwanttodefeatCantonandcomeoutofthisalive.Sobeforewegoanyfurther,doyouneedtosaysomething?Askmeanything?”
Sheblinked,thendroppedhergazeagain.“DidyouthinkofmewhenIdidn’ttakeyourcallstheselastfewmonths?”
“Everyfuckingday.”
Shefrowned.“Why?Itwasonekiss.”
Theshakinginhervoicetuggedathim.Hedidn’twanthertobeworriedorafraid,butthefactthatshewantedtoknowifshe’dbeenonhismindwasprettydamnendearing.
“HellifIunderstandit.”
“Haveyou…beenwithanyonesinceyougotoutofprison?”
“Yep.”Hehopedthatdidn’tupsethertoomuchbuthewasn’tgoingtolie.“I’mnotasaint.”
“Sincewemet?”
“I’vehadopportunitiesbut…no.”
Herheadsnappedupagain.Sothatgotherattention.
“D-didyoureallylikekissingmethatmuch?”
Axelhadn’t?Stonescowled.Herraw,vulnerablequestionsconfusedhim.Mostwomenprotectedtheirheartsandfeelingswithwaymoresophisticatedmirrorsandsmokescreens.Lilysimplyasked.
Stoneslidoffthestoolandgottohiskneesinfrontofher.Yeah,itprobablyupsettheD/spsychologicalbalanceorwhatever,butLilyneededthetouchofamanrightnowwaymorethansheneededtheauthorityofaDom.
Hecuppedherfaceinhishands,thumbscaressinghercheeks.“Baby,Ikissedyou…andthatwasitforme.Ihardlythinkofanythingelse,exceptimaginingwhatitwillfeellikewhenIdoalotmorethankissyou.”
Shetriednottosmile.Andshedidn’treply,buthewasdamnhappythathisadmissionhadn’tfreakedherout.Infact,hehadabetterunderstandingofthestateofLily’sheartandmind.Nowhehadtoputthatinformationtogooduse.
Hisfatherusedtocomplainjokinglythatwomendidn’tcomewithusermanuals.Stonehadneverreallyunderstoodhisdad’scomplaintuntilnow.Hecouldn’thelpbutfeelasifhehadonlyoneshottobindLilytohim.Tomorrowtherestoftheworldwouldprobablyinvade.Ifhefuckedup,hemightnotgettheopportunitytoswayherinhisdirectionagain.Sohehadtopulloutallthestopsrightfuckingnow.
“WhenyouhadsexwithAxel,wheredidheusuallytakeyou?Bed?”
Sheshookherhead.“Sofa.”
Lilydidn’telaborate,andStonefoundthatoddbutdidn’tpress.Instead,hestoodandpeeledoffhisshirt,hidingagrinwhenshestaredraptly.
“Waithere.”Heleftandfoundhisphoneinthebedroom,thenflippedthroughthescreenstofindthemusicstreamingservicehesubscribedto.Whenhefoundachannelofsexyelectronicinstrumentals,helaunchedthefirstsongandreenteredtheplayroom.
“Thatokay?”heasked.
“Yeah.Musichelpsmerelax.”
Exactlywhathe’dbeenhoping.“Closeyoureyes.”
Shehesitated,closedthem,andopenedthemquicklyagain.“Ihavetroublewiththat.Ineedtoseewhat’shappening.”
Hewouldremindherthatsheneededtotrusthimtotakecareofherduringascene,butheunderstoodthatfeardroveher.Ontheotherhand,he’dbetthatwhenshewastooawareofwhatwashappeningaroundher,shecouldn’tshutoffherbrainenoughtoletpleasuretakeover.AxelmayhaveletLilyhaveherway.Stonecouldn’taffordto.Onsomethings,hehadtobeawarenottopushhertoofarpastherlimitstoofast.Butrightnow,shewouldneverunravelforhimifhedidn’t.
“I’mhere.I’vegotyou.We’reinasecurehouseinthemiddleofaswamp.There’snooneoutherebutus.Putyourselfinmycare.I’lltalkyouthrougheverything.”
Lilyseemedtowrestlewithherself,bitingherlipandstaringathim,silentlyaskingifhewouldharmherwhenshecouldn’tsee.Thatfacehurthim,deepdownwherehewantedtomakeherhappy.Buthedidn’trushher.
Finally,shecametotherightconclusionandslidhereyesshutagain.
Inreward,hestrokedthecrownofherhead.“Goodjob,SweetPea.”
“IknowIaskedyoutocallmethat,butcouldyou…”Shesighed.“Ilikeitbetterwhenyoucallme‘baby.’Noonehasevercalledmethat.Itmakesmefeelsexy.”
AndAxelhadprobablycalledherSweetPeaorMistyallthetime.Stonetookitasagoodsignthatshewantedthingsbetweenthetwoofthemtobedifferent.
“Baby,itwouldbemypleasure.”
Shegaveahappylittlesigh.
Hewalkedbehindherandkneltsohecouldwhisperinherear.“I’mgoingtogiveyoupleasurenow.Ready?”
“I’mnervous.”
Stoneplacedhishandsonhershouldersandstrokedhiswaydownherarms.“Nothingbutgoodnessfromhereonout.Ipromise.”
“Yes,Stone.”
Shebarelybreathedthewordsandtrembledunderhistouch.Fuck,ifthatdidn’tarousethehelloutofhim.Mostofthewomenhe’dtakentobedhadbeenjaded,afraidtobevulnerablewiththemaninsidethem.ButLilyseemednottohavemuchofafilterwhenitcametoshieldingherreactions.Shelaidherselfbaremoreoftenthansherealized,andhewouldn’twanttochangethatforanything.
“Movethehairoffthebackofyourneck,”hewhisperedagainsthernape.
Heheardherbreathcatch;thensheraisedbothhandstolifttheshimmering,palemassandpushittooneside,exposingthenarrowcolumnandthatdelicatesweepoffleshintoherothershoulder.
“Good,”hepraised,thenfollowedthatupbypressinghislipsagainsthersensitiveskinthereinreward.Fuck,shesmelledgood,sugary-sweetwithahintofsomethingspicy.
Hebreathedherin—andhisdickwentharder.Howthefuckwashegoingtorestrainhimselffromthrowinghertothematandshovinghiswayinsideher?Hehadto;shewasn’treadyforthat,Stoneknew.Butdamnifhedidn’tburntotakeherineverywayknowntoman.
“Tellmehowyou’refeeling.”
“Alittlerestless.”Shesquirmedasshesatback,buttonherheels.“Alittleachy.”
“Aroused?”heprodded.
“Yes,Stone.”
God,helovedhearinghisnamefromherlips,especiallyinthatslightlybreathytone.
Hestrokedhershoulder,peelingawaythefrillylittlestrap.Hislipsfollowedhishand,settingaslowtrailofkissesallthewayovertheslope.Lily’sbreathcaughtashemadehiswaybackup,addinganipofhisteeth,followedbyasoothinglickofhistongue.
Whenhereachedherneckagain,hemoanedinherear.“Youtastesweet.”
Sheshudderedinhisarms.
“Areyoureyesstillclosed?”heasked.
“Yes.”
“Doyoufeelsafe?”
Thistimeshetookabitlongerinanswering.“Havingmyeyesclosedmayneverbecomfortableforme,butit’snotareflectionofyou.”
Sosomethingabouthavinghereyesclosedmustremindherofabadexperience.Herfriend’srapeandmurder?Hehadtokeepherfromfallingintoherownmemoriesandfearsandfailingtoreachorgasm.
“Picturetheplayroomwe’rein.Rememberthesoftlighting.Feelthematunderyourknees.Canyoudothat?”
Shenodded.
“Areyouuncomfortablebeyondwhatyoucanbear?”
“No,”sheassuredsoftly.
“That’swhatIwanttohear.Now,keepthatimagefirmlyplantedinyourmind.Don’tletyourthoughtsusurpthatvisualwithanythingelse.Ifyoustarttodrift,bringbackthehardwoodfloorsandplayequipment.Picturemerightherewithyou.”
“Yes,Stone.”
Thesensualsongendedthenslidintoanother,thisonewithsomechantingandpantingandaseriouslysexualvibe.
“Focusonthemusic,”heinstructed.“Youhearthat?Youlikeit?”
Shenodded.
“Tiltyourheadback.More.Yes,alltheway.”
Onceshecomplied,Stonetrailedafingertipfromthetipofherchin,downherthroat,intothehollowbeneath,anddescendedslowlytowardtheswellsofherbreasts.“Canyoufeelmebehindyou?”
Shenodded.“Youputoffsomuchheat.Yourskinissoftbuteverythingbeneathismuscledandhard.EverytimeItakeabreath,Ismellthatyou’reaman.”Sheletoutashakybreath.“Ilikeit.”
ThatwasmorehonestythanStonehadexpected,andhedecidedtorewardheragainwithanotherkisstoherneck,anothermurmurinherear.“You’resodelicateundermyhands.”Hecaressedherarmsagain,thenlethispalmsdriftdowntoherwaist.“Sotenderundermylips.Tellme,baby…areyournippleshard?”
“Ithinkso.”
Butshedidn’tknowforsure?Thattoldhimthatherbrainandherbodymightnotbesyncingupyet.“Touchyourselfandfindoutforme.”
Lilydidn’tmoverightaway.Wasshewonderingwhyhedidn’tcheckhimself?Shedidn’task,simplyplacedherfingertipsoverthebabydoll’swispyfabricwhereitcoveredherbreast,thenyankedherhandawayquickly.“Yes.”
Hesmiled.“Areyousure?Checkagain.Bereallythorough.”
“Youjustwanttowatchmetouchmyself,”sheaccusedbreathlessly.
“Damnstraight.”
Shedidn’tobeyrightaway.Stonefeltthesecondshewentupinherheadandthoughttoomuchaboutthemechanicsofwhathe’dasked.Thenhe’dbetsheweighedhowshewouldlooktohimorifarousingherselfmorewhilehewatchedwouldearnherpraiseormakeherfeelashamed.
“You’retakingtoolong,”hewarned.
“Ican’tstopthinkingthatyou’regoingtobelookingovermyshoulderandwatchingme.”
“Let’smakethatworrygoaway.I’lljusteasearoundyouandplantmyselfrighthere,”hesaidinchesfromherface.“Sonow,I’mnotlookingoveryourshoulderanymore.I’mjustlooking.”
Hercheeksturnedaprettyrosyshadeandsheopenedhereyes,focusinginonhim.“You’regoingtoleeratmewhileItouchmyself?”
Hechuckled,likingthedreamyexpressioninhereyes,herslightlydilatedpupils.“Prettymuch.Unlessthatbothersyouforsomereason.”
“No.It’sjustnotwhatI’musedto.”
“Iknow.Rightnow,there’sonlyusandwhateverwewant.”Hecuppedhercheek.“Yougotthat?I’mnotjudginganything.Ijustwantyoutobeallright.Iwantyoutofeelpleasure.”
Lilynodded.“Beingwithyou…it’ssodifferent.”
“I’mnotAxel.”Andthoughheunderstoodwhyshestillhadthemanonhermind,itpissedStoneoffthatshecouldn’tthinkabouthimwhenhewasinfrontofher,half-nakedandwanting.
“Obviously,”sheagreed.
Hegrabbedforhispatience.“Differentisn’tbad.”
“Itisn’t,”sheacknowledged,andheletoutasighofrelief.“WhatImeantwasthateverythingfeelssodifferentwhenthepurposeoftheplayistofeelgood,notsimplytoscrewmyheadonstraight.It’s…nicetobewanted.”
Herwordstookhimaback.Heshouldhaveputtwoandtwotogetherearlierandrealizedshewasn’treallyusedtoindulgingaman’sdesire.Ontheotherhand,ifThorpewasright,shehadtheheartofasubmissive.Shewantedtoplease.IthadbeenonethingtoobeyAxelwhenhe’dmerelybeentryingtoleadherdownapathtohelphergrow.Itwasanotherforhertoactuallysatisfyamanshewouldkneelforandeventuallygiveherselfto.She’dwantthat.
AndStoneintendedtogiveittoher.
“I’mstillwaiting—andnotverypatiently.Touchyournipple.Takeyourbreastoutofyournightgownandcaressthathardnub.RightwhereIcanseeeverything.”
Lily’sbreathingturnedchoppy.Shetrembledabitassheliftedherhandsfromherlapandpulledthesideofherbabydolldownwithonehandandliftedhersweetbreastabovethefabricwiththeother.Thesightofthegentleswellinherhandarousedthehelloutofhim,butwhenshedraggedherthumbacrosstheturgidpinkpeakandsuckedinalittlegasp,Stonenearlylosthisfuckingmind.
“That’sit.Again.”
Whenshecompliedandlookedathimwiththebigeyesseekingapproval,hecouldn’tresistcuppinghishandaroundhershoulderandcomingcloser.
“Didthatfeelgood?”Hiswordscameoutroughandlow,andhehopedthatwouldn’tscareher.
Thebravegirlgavehimalittlenod.“Knowingthatyou’rewatchingandlikingwhatyouseeisitsownpleasure.”
Justhertonemadeitclearshehadn’texpectedthat.
“Doyouevertouchyourselfwhenyou’realone,makeyourselfcome?”
Atthatquestion,shefrowned.“Notsomuch.Ifeelawkward,weird,touchingmyselfwhenI’malone.InevergotthechancetobeforeIlefthomeasakidsinceIsharedabedroomwithmylittlebrother.Iknowtoysexistsothatit’smoreexpedientandlessmessy,butIdon’tlikehearingthingsbuzz.Idon’tlikeplastic.Andthenthere’sthewholefeeling-too-alonething.Masturbationjustisn’tforme.”
Stonewouldbetshejusthadn’thadtherightimpetus.Inthepast,she’dprobablytrieddoingitforthesamereasonshetriedsexwithAxel,tofeelnormal.Whenshefiguredouthowtotuneherbraintopleasureandsimplyindulged,hesuspectedshe’dfeelverydifferentlyaboutthesubject.Andifhavinghimwatchturnedheron,thenhewastotallygame.Becauseseeinghertouchherselfevennowwasabouttomakehiscockbustthroughhiszipper.
“Keeptouchingthatnippleforme,”hecoaxed.“Justflickitbackandforth…Yeah.”
Hereyesslidshut.Despitethefactthathe’dtoldherearliertoclosethemandfocus,nowStonefeltshutoutofherexperience,andthathewouldn’ttolerate.
“Lookatme,baby.”
Lilywasslowtocomply.Sheliftedherthumbawayfromherbreastbeforeherlashesflutteredopen.“AmIdoingsomethingwrong?”
“No.Iwantyoutotouchyourselfagainbutlookatme.Rightatme.Don’tlookaway.”
“Youreallywanttowatchme?”
“Fuck,yeah.”
Anervouslittlesmilecreptupherface,butshedidn’trefuse.Instead,shedraggedherthumboverthehardpointagain.Attheflickofherdigit,Stonewatchedherpeakbend,bounceback,thenhardenevenmore.Shewassoclosethathecouldnearlytouchithimself.Hell,hecouldnearlytasteit.Hismouthwateredjustthinkingaboutworkingthestiffbudwithhislipsandtongue,givingheraslightstingwithhisteeth.
Hegroaned.Atthesound,hereyeswidened.Sheblinked,thenlookeddownhisbody,rightwherehishardcockfoughttoescapehispants.
Stonegrabbedathisbulge.“Thisisforyou,baby.Thisiswhatyoudotome.Watchingyouisexcruciatingtorture,andyetIcan’tstop.Pinchyournipple.Squeezeit.Justlikethat,”heencouraged.“Doesitfeelgood?Canyoufeelthebloodfillingit?Doyoulikethetingleandbite?”
Herbreathwasn’tquitesteadyasshenoddedandtriedtoclosehereyesagain.“Yes.”
“Openthoseprettyeyes.Lookatme.Don’tlookaway.”
Withaflutterofherlashes,shedidashedemanded.Hereyeshaddarkenedfromthecolorofmeltedchocolatetosultrymidnight.Stonecouldn’thelphimself.Hehadtotouchher,stakeaclaim.
“Doitagain.Don’tstopuntilItellyou,”hemurmuredacrossherskinashebrushedhisknucklesalonghercollarbone.
Hereyeswidened.Sherewardedhimwithgoosefleshandalittlewhimper.Thenshedidexactlyashe’dinstructed,takingthehardnubbetweenherthumbandfingerandgivingitasqueeze.
Herwhimperbecameamoan.
“Harder,”hecommanded.“Doitnow.”
Tohissatisfaction,Lilyobeyedreadily,almostviciously;thensheraspedtheedgeofherfingernailacrossthesensitivepeak.Ittightened,turningrosyasitfilledwithmoreblood.Stonewatchedinutterfascination.Andwhenhermoanbecameahigh-pitchedkeening,hesmiled.
“That’sfuckingpretty,baby.Canyoudothattotheotherbreast?”heaskedashetuckedhisfingersundertheotherstrapofherbabydollandlifteditoffhershoulder,lettingitfalluselesslydownherarm.“Showme.Teaseyournipple.”
Lilydidn’thesitatetoliftherotherbreastfromthenightgownandrevealtheperfectswellalongwithitstightberrytip.
“Damn,”hechokedout.“Sofuckingbeautiful.Lookatyou.”Hetrailedhisfingertipsinalightcaressdownthesideofherbreast,thenwithdrewquicklyincasesheobjected.Butheshouldn’thaveworried.Lily’seyessoftenedinthanks.
Assheletoutasigh,shefirstbrushedthenewlyexposedkernelgentlywithherthumb,thenfrownedasifthesensationdispleasedher.
Sheblinkedathiminconfusion.
“Youwantmorenow,”hesupplied.“You’resensitiveandyouwanttofeel.Pinch,tug,twist.Makethatnipplecomealive.Showmehowyouwantthemtouched.”
Withashakybobofherhead,Lilyclampedherfingersaroundthebarelytouchedpeakandgaveitahardyank,aviseofapinch,thenascrapewithhernail.Herwholebodyseemedtomeltasshetossedherheadbackwithashiver.
Stonethoughthemightcrawloutofhisskinwithwantingher.Hecurledahandaroundhernapeandforcedherstarebacktohis.Hernot-quite-focusedeyesandpleadingglancebegantounhingehisrestraint.
“That’sthewayIliketoseeyou.Youlikeit,too.Icantell.”Heleanedcloser,whisperingagainstherlips.“Doitagain,butteasebothyournipplesatonce.Rightnow.”
Themomentsheclenchedhernipplesbetweenherthumbsandforefingers,sheyelped.Thenshegroanedassensationhither.Stoneswallowedthesoundbycoveringhermouthwithhisownandsurgingdeepinside.Inthismoment,heownedher.Andhecravedmore.Helovedtheideaofhavingeverypartofherbelongtohim,spreadoutforhisviewingpleasure,readywheneverhewantedher.Whichwouldbealways.Butwithsuchabeauty,whocouldblamehim?
Shekeenedoutandhedrankinherneed,itchingtotouchthosesweetnippleshimself.Ashechangedtheangleofthekissandroseonhiskneesaboveher,bringinghercloser,helethisfingerstrailfromhershoulders,downtotheswellsofherpoutybreasts.Hecoveredherhandwithhispalm,helpinghersupportthedrawn-upcurvewhilehecaressedherso-softskinanditchedtoputhisfingersrightwherehersworked.
Themomentshereleasedthereddeningtips,hemovedin,dragginghisthumboverwhathadtobehersupersensitiveflesh.
Lilytoreherlipsfromhis.“Stone!”
“YoulikeitwhenIdothattoyou?Doyoulikemyfingerstuggingonyournipples,baby?”
“Yes.”Shestared,lookingsomewherebetweenpleadingandhelpless.
“You’reaskingformorewiththatexpression,”hewarned.“Justbeggingmefortheanswertothegnawingachegrowingbetweenyourlegs.You’rewet,right?”
“Iam,”shesaidwithsuchtorturedhonesty.
“Haveyoueverfeltthisneed?”
“Notthissharply.Youcan’tleaveme…”
“Iwon’t,”heassured,brushingherrighthandfromherbreastandtakingover.“Youlikeyournipplestoyedwithandyoulikeitrough.Ilovetouchingyou,baby.I’lltakecareofit.”Whensheflushedalloverathiswordsandherlittlecandypeakshardenedagain,hegroaned.“Lookatyou.God,Idon’teverrememberanythingsexier.Youwantmore?”
Shenoddedadamantly,demandingwithoutaword.
“Youwantmoreofmyfingers?”Hepinched,teased,toyed,twisted,enjoyinghergaspsandthewayshewriggledasiftheacheofhercuntwasbecomingtoomuchtofight.“Ordoyouwantsomethingmore?Doyouwantmetosuckyou?”
Whenhebenttoherbreast,hetestedbothherarousalandherfearbydrawinghernippleintohismouthandrollingitaroundonhistongue.Lilygaveananimalcryofdesperationandwrappedherarmsaroundhishead,clutchinghimcloser.
Withapop,heeasedherbudfromhismouthandsmiled.“WouldyoulikeitifIdidthattoyourotherbreast?Let’ssee…”
Hedidn’thearanythingthatresembledhersafeword,sohekissedapathfromthehollowofherthroat,hislipscoastingdownvelvetskin,allthewaydowntothehardcreststabbingtheairasifsilentlydemandingattention.Gently,hesurroundedthenubwithhislips,thenlavedit,histongueproddingitbackandforthoverherarousedflesh,justbarelythere.
“Thatenough?”heteased.
“No.”Sheclungtohisshoulders.“More.Please.I’m…lost.”
Somethingaboutthewayshebeggedtoldhimthatshe’dneverdonethatinherlife.Satisfactionandadesiretoownherslammedhim.Stonewantedtobetheonlymanwhoeverheardherintrueneed.Hewantedtobetheonlymanwhosatedit,too.
“Lost?”Hegaveheramockfrown.“Oh,baby.I’llhelpyoufindexactlywhereyoushouldbe.Lieback.”
Stoneworriedshewouldrefuseordemur,butafteramoment’shesitation,shenearlymeltedintothemat,thedelicateswellsofherbreastspointingtowardthesky,thetipscallinghisnameinasirensonghecouldn’tresist.
Lilyflungonearmoverherhead.Theothershedrapedacrosshermiddle.Shelookedlikeaseductivegoddessfinallywakingtothepowerofherownbodyandsensuality.“Likethis?”
Hetookherin,thegauzywhitegivingherfairskinaluminescentquality.Shelookedlikeafuckingpearl,allglowing.Stonecouldn’ttakehiseyesoffher.“Almost.Nowbendyourknees.”
Withafurrowofconfusionwrinklingherbrow,Lilyplantedherfeetflatontheground.Gravitycausedthehandkerchiefhemofthebabydolltoslidedownherthighs,revealingacreamylengthoflegandahintoflaceunderneath.
“That’snice,baby.Reallynice.Youwouldlookevenprettierifyouspreadyourlegsforme.”Whenshehesitated,lookinguncertain,Stonebackpedaled.“Justalittlemore.That’sall.Getcomfortable.”
Sheswallowed.“Youwon’thurtme?”
Asarousedashewas,Stonestoppedeverythingandcaressedhercheek.Whenshepeeredupathim,fearanduncertaintycreepingbackintoherexpression,hemurmuredasoothingsound.“Never.Whateverhappensbetweenus,I’llneverdoanythingbutprotectandpleasureyou.”Hecaressedhiswaydowntoherbreastandfilledhispalmwithit,histhumbtakingaslowslideoverthesensitivetipagain.“Ever.DoyouhaveanyideahowgoodIwanttomakeyoufeel?”
Exactlyashe’dhoped,thatturnedLily’sthoughtsawayfromwhateverdisturbedherandturnedherbacktowardbliss.
Lilyarchedintohistouch,hereyesdriftingshutforthebarestofmomentsasshegroaned.Andshespreadherlegswider.
Whenhebentandtookhernippleintohismouthandfondledtheother,hereyesflewopenwide.“Stone!”
“Youlikethat?”
“Yes,”shepanted.“It’s…Iacheeverywhere.It’stoobig.Can’tfightit.”
“Don’ttry.Iache,too,baby.I’mabsolutelydyingtoseeyougiveintopleasure.Doyouwantthat?Doyouwanttocome?”
Ashecontinuedtolickandpinchhernipples,hestared,hisgazedelvingintohersuntilshescratchedatthematsandnoddedfeverishly.“Idon’tknowwhat’shappening.”
“Justpleasure.FollowmeandI’llmakesureyougettoorgasm.Dothatforme,baby.Webothwantyoutoreachit.”
Shepanted,herfacesofteningwithneed.Hervoicethinnedwithdesperation.“How?”
“Letmetouchyourpussy.”
ChapterNine
TOUCHher…there?LilyhadneverusedthewordStonehadjustutteredinherlife.Truthfully,onlyAxelhadevertouchedbetweenherlegs.Somewhereinthebackofherhead,she’dneverbeenabletoforgetthathehaddoneittobehelpful,outoffarmorepitythandesire.
ButthesexualheatinStone’seyes,theflushofredslashingdownhischeeks,theseductionofhiswords—theyallpromisedthatsympathywasthelastthinghefeltforher.He’dbeensopatient,soencouraging.Withhim,shefeltfreeandsexy.Notlikeaburdenbutawoman.
She’dbeendesperatetofeelthiswayforthepastthreeyears.
“Ifyouwantmetotouchyouandmakeyoufeelevenbetter,allyouhavetodoisrelaxandletmeslipmyhandunderthoselacypanties,”hemutteredgruffly.Hisedgeofimpatienceturnedheron.“I’lldotherest.”
Thepullofhismouthonhernippleagainelectrifiedher.Shewantedtofeelhimeverywhere,wantedtoknowjusthowmuchpleasurehecouldgiveher.Butasbadlyassheached,theflashesofthepastsimplywouldn’tbebanished.HorrificimagesofErin’slasthouronthisearthpeltedher,thosemomentsCantonhadrippedawayherjeansandherinnocencewithaterriblegleebeforeheendedherlife.Shestillheardthescreams,stillsmelledtheblood…
“I-Ican’t,”Lilysobbedasshetriedtopushhimaway,shovingathishandsandclampingherlegstogetheragain.“It’stoomuch.Idon’t—”
“Shh.Okay.”Stoneshiftedallhisattentionfromherbodybacktoherface.Theirgazesconnected.Hestrokedherhairsogently,shealmostcried.“It’sallright.Doyouneedyoursafeword?OrcanIkeepkissingyou?Touchingyourbreasts?”
Hewasn’tangryorimpatient?Hewasn’tannoyedthatdespitetheslowwayhe’dpreparedherbody,shewasfreakingout?
Thosedamntearsshe’dneverbeenabletoshedwelledinhereyesagain.Justafewmomentswithouthistouchandalreadyshewasmissingit.Maybe…Coulditreallyhurttolethimcontinuealittle?Yeah,she’dneverreachorgasmfromkissesandcaressestoherbreasts,butthemomentsofindulginghersensualitylikeanormalwoman,offeelingwantonandlovelyandconnectedtohim?Shecouldn’tpassthatup.
“Please.Yes,”shecriedout.“Areyoumadatme?”
“Mad?”Hesentheralookofsuchexquisiteunderstanding.Itutterlydismissedheranxietyandvowedshe’dneverhavetoworry.“WhywouldIbemad?I’mtryingtomakeyoufeelgood,notuncomfortableordefensive.Ifyou’recomfortableherefornow,we’llstayhere.”
Hisassurancesmadeherwanttotrymore.Sodidtheachebetweenherlegs.Shedidn’twanttogiveupwithoutseeingifshecouldletlooseenoughtoenjoypleasurewithamanwhoarousedratherthancoddledher.
“Idon’twanttostop,”shesobbed.
“That’sgood.”Hetonguedhiswayupthesideofherbreastandpluckedatthenipplewithhisfingersuntilalittleshudderranunderherskin.“Ifyou’renotreadyformetotouchyourpussy,you’llhavetodoit.I’llhelpbytalkingyouthroughit,Lily.Canyoudothat?”
Talkherthroughit?Thatsoundedshocking,sensual,andintimateallatonce.“CanIkeepmypantieson?”
“Ifyouneedto.”
Lilynodded.Removingthemwouldmakeherfeeltoovulnerableandrevealtoomuchofherbody.NotthatStonewasn’tperfectlycapableofrippingthemoffhimselfifhewantedtotakeadvantageofher.Shetookcomfortinknowingthatifhedid,thelinetodetachhisballsfromhisbodywouldformbehindAxel,anditwouldbelong.“WhatshouldIdo?”
“Don’ttenseup,baby,”hecoaxed.“Thisisthegoodstuff.Allyouhavetodoisslideyourhandbetweenyourlegsandlookatme.”
Thatmightbeallshehadtodoinhismindbutsinceshe’dneverreallymasturbatedsuccessfully,muchlessinfrontofaman,itseemedlikeatallorder.Still,shewantedtosharepleasurewithStonesobadly—andwantedhimtobepleased,too.Heck,shewantedhimenoughtopushpastherdiscomfortandtry.
Dragginginasteadyingbreath,sheslidherhanddownherstomach,undertheelasticofherwaistband,overthesmoothmoundAxelhadinstructedhertokeepbare,andbetweentheplumpfolds.Problemwas,shedidn’tknowwhattodonext.Lilychokedbackacryoffrustration.Whatgrownwomanknewsolittleaboutthewayherbodyworked?
Onewho’dbeenafraidofsexsinceagesixteen.
“Whereareyourfingers,baby?”
“Onmyvagina.”
Heflickedhistongueacrosshernipple.“‘Vagina’issomethingyousaywhenyouvisitthegynecologist.That’syourpussy.Areyourfingersonit,playingwithyourclit?Ifnot,that’swheretheyshouldbe.”
Right.Sheknewwheretofindthat.Axelhadintroducedhertothatpartofheranatomy.
Whenshetouchedthebundleofnervesbetweenherlegs,sheyelped,shockedbyitssurprisingsensitivity.Everysooften,Axeltouchedherthere.Shedidn’tfeelmuchatfirst.Thesensationstooktimetobuild.Thenagain,they’dneverbeentobedwithpassioninmind.Apparentlythatmadeeverythingdifferent
“Youcanfeelthat,huh?”Hesmiled.“Doitagain—dragyourfingerrightoverthetop.Thenmakesureit’swetbeforeyourubitinsmallcircles.”
Lilyshovedherself-consciousthoughtsasideandpursuedthesharpjoltofpleasureshe’dfeltjustmomentsago.Stoneseemedtoknowhowawoman’sbodyworked.Shedisregardedthejealousythatstungher.Thefactthathehadclearlyhadamountainofsexualexperienceworkedinherfavorrightnow.Sincehedidn’tmindsharinghisknowledge,sheintendedtosavorhowjuicythesemomentsfelt.
Sheslidherfingerbetweenherfoldsanddrewmoremoistureuptoherachingbutton.Whenshetouchedit,pleasurejabbedheragain,brightandshocking.Almostagainstherwill,shegaspedandarched,jerkinghergazetoStone.Shefixedthere,blinking,panting.
“Yeah,youcanfeelthat.Iseeitonyourface,baby.Hmm,Ican’teventellyouhowsexyitistowatchyouthefirsttimeyoulearnhowmuchpleasureyoucangiveyourself.It’s,like,thebiggestdepositinmyspankbankever.”
Despitetheedgeofneedgougingher,Lilycouldn’thelpbutlaugh.Theworriesthathadbeenbuildinginthebackofherheadevaporated,leavingbehindacomfortingwarmthtogowiththeheatpermeatingherentirebody.Thismantotallygottoher.
Shetskedathim.“Areyouserious?”
“Absolutely.Youknowyou’resexy,right?”
Lilyhadnevertrulyfeltsexybeforetoday.ButStonechangedeverythingwithaneasethatsurprisedher.“IlikethatyouthinkIam.”
“Believeit,baby.”Hecuppedherbreast,thumbteasing,ashebenttowhisperinherear.“WhenIcameintothisroomtonight,Ialreadywantedyoulikemad,butnowthatI’veseenjusthowdamnmuchyouturnmeon,I’mgoingtobeafteryoumorning,noon,andnight.You’refreetosaynoandI’lllisten.ButI’mnotgivingup.Nowgetbusyandcomeforme.”
Hemadeitsoundsoeasy,asifitwasperfectlynaturalforhertoengageinself-pleasure.Andthat,ofcourse,hewouldwatch.Howbadlyshewantedtobenormal.Howmuchshewantedtopleasehim.Howdesperatelysheneededthisclimax.
Shespreadherlegsabitwiderandsetherfingersoverherslipperyclit,thenstartedrubbinggently.Electrictinglesslidthroughherbody.Theacheturnedsoviciousshecouldfeelthewallsofhersextightenandclampdown.Oncetheydid,shefeltsoempty,asifsheneededsomeone—Stone—tofillher.
Withherfreehand,shereachedouttohim.Hetookitinhisown.Hisdark,focusedstarepinnedher,slammeddownherspine,theimpactmakinghersuckinaroughbreathandclutchhimharder.
Assherubbedthenubbinalittleslower,withabitmorebrushandtease,theneedsurgedagain.Themusclesofherthighstensed.Hersexclenched.Ahotflushrolledthroughherbody.Thensuddenly,herheartbeatroaredinherears.Lilysworeshecouldhearherbloodpumping.
Thiswasbigandthickandencompassing.Whateversensationgatheredwasn’tliketheorgasmsshe’dhadinthepast.Whenallthispent-upfireburst,itwouldburnheralive.
“Stone,”shekeened.
“Oh,fuck.You’resobeautiful.Youneedthisnow,don’tyou?Yeah,”heagreedwhenshenoddedfrantically.“Letittakeyouunder.Letmehearyouscream.”
Lilycouldn’tthinkofanythingshewantedmore.Asshecircledherhyperawarenerveendingsagain,herbodyjerked.Desiresurged.WhenStonebenttotakehernippleinhismouth,sheclaspedthebackofhisheadandanchoredhimtoher.Notthathe’ddoanythingexcepthelpherdrown.Butthistimenothingwouldbesweeter.
Hedraggedahanduptoherothernippleandtangledhisfingerswithherown.Together,theymanipulatedthetipofthatbreastwhilehesuckedtheotherhardbudandscrapedtheverytipwithhisteeth.
Sensationsmountedagain.Shefeltlikeavesselfillingupwithblood,withneed,withanimminentexplosion.Itwasrightthere…
Herlegsshook.Herhipsjerked.Shewhimpered,strainedforit.Shetastedneed.
Butshecouldn’tseemtofalloverthesweetlysharpedge.
Lilypressedharderagainstherclit,narrowinghercircles,focusingonjusthowgoodthiswasgoingtobe.Thesecondstickedoffinherhead,slowlybecomingminutes.Theexquisiteneedwasitsownformofhell,andshecouldn’tseemtoescape.
Thetorturedraggedon,andshesawnowayout.Shesqueezedhereyesshut,feelingdefeatbegintocreepin.
Stonesprangintoaction,poppinghernipplefrombetweenhislipsandgrazingherearwithhislips.“Yougotthis,baby.Focusonmyvoiceandcloseyoureyes.Yeah,Iknowthat’shard,butI’vegotyou.”
Oddly,shealreadybelievedthat.
“Pictureyourselfnakedandmestandingoveryou,strokingmycock.YouknowI’mgoingtotellyouhowsexyyouareandhowmuchIwantyou.ImaginethatI’dfalltomykneesbetweenthoseprettythighs.Whenyouholdyourarmsopentome,I’llgorightintothem.ThenI’mgoingtokissyou,toucheverylush,tinglingcurveofyourbody,andwhenyou’rebegging,that’swhenI’llslideinsideyou.Deep.That’swhenI’llstrokeyouslowlyandthoroughlyandmakeyouclawmybackasyoucome.”
Ashespoke,herdesireandracingbloodclashed,merged.Everythinginsideherroaredtoascreamingcrescendo.Thewallshe’dbeenslamminginto,preventingherfromfallingover,disintegrated.SheenvisionedexactlywhatStonetoldhertopicture.Shesawherselfbeingnotjustperfectlyablebuteagertoliebackandwelcomehiminsideherashegavehermind-blowingpleasureandshesurrenderedherselfcompletely.
Withagutturalscream,shecareenedintoathickthrallofpleasure,herfingersstillworkingwithagentlefirmnessthatprolongedtheagonyforseeminglyendlessmoments.Theclimaxdidn’tmerelyembraceherbutsenthersoaringintoabreathtakingrealmofdizzyingeuphoria.Theraptureshe’dbeenavoiding?Amazing.Knowingherbodywascapableofallthis?Astonishing.
Asshecrested,thecrushofsensationswassuddenlycushionedinalovelyvelvetembrace.Thetightgripofclimaxloosenedwithasigh.Everythingoncesharpnowfeltgolden,meanttobe.Perfect.
Nowonderpeopleenjoyorgasmsomuch
Thegripofpleasurefinallybegantoreleaseitshold.Ofitsownvolition,herbodyshudderedandtwitchedwiththelastvestigesofbliss.
Thenshesighedandmeltedintothemat.
“Lily,baby…”Stonegroanedaboveher.
Lazyandsated,shecrackedhereyesopentofindhimstaringatherwithbothprideandreverence.Hewasn’tsmilingasifhewasrelievedthat,afterdredginguphispatience,he’dmanagedtodohisgooddeedfortheday.Axelwouldbehorrifiedifheeverfiguredoutthatshe’dreadhimsoclearly.Instead,Stonewasproudofherfortakingstepsforwardandtakingchargeofhersexuality.Helookedatherasifonlyshealoneexistedforhim.Nothingandnooneelsemattered.
“Youjusttiltedmyworldonitsaxis,”hemurmured.
Ittookherafewmomentstoprocesshiswords.Shefrowned.“Ithinkthat’swhatI’msupposedtosaytoyousinceyouworkedsohardtohelpme.”
“Youalwayshadtheabilityinsideyou.Ijustnudgeduntilyousawit.You’reawhole,normalwoman,Lily.YouwereakidwhenCantondidsomethingappallingthatterrifiedthehelloutofyouandbruisedyourpsyche.Hebentyoubuthedidn’tbreakyou.Ineededyoutoseethat.Andyoudid.It’syourjobwelldone.”
Sheknewshecouldneverhavegivenherselfsuchanexperienceifhehadn’tbeenrightthere,helpingheralong.Butthepointwasn’tworthdisputing.Infact,shedidn’tfeellikearguingaboutanythingjustnow.
Instead,shegavehimaheavy-eyedsmile.“I’mstillpattingyouontheback.”
“Iwashopingforsomethingalittlelower.”Hewinkedherway.
Lilyfroze.She’dmanagedtofindecstasy,sure.Andshe’dlefthiminblue-ballhell.“Okay.I-Ishouldwarnyouthough.I’mnotsurewhattodo—”
“I’mteasing,baby.”
“Ican…”What?ThefewtimessheandAxelhadprogressedthisfar,theyusuallyhadsex.She’donceofferedtorelievehimwithhermouthorhand.He’dtoldherthathedidn’twanthertoconfusetheissue—whateverthatmeant—soshe’dstillnevergottenamanoffwithoutpenetration.“Icantrytogiveyouablowjob.”
Shecouldhearthehesitationinherownvoiceandwinced.
Stoneeaseddownontopofher,caressingthehairbackfromherface.Lilyfelthisweightpressingonher,thehardcolumnofhiserectionjabbinghermound.Panicbegantocreepin.Shesuckedinair,triedtotellherselftostaycalm,thatStonewouldn’thurther.Shefocusedonthepleasureshe’djustexperienced,thetendernessofhisexpression.
AllshecouldseeinherheadwasErinfightingasTimothyCantonheldherdownwithhissuperiorsizeandstrengthandrapedher.
Lilycouldn’thelpit.Shelosthercalm,fightingandbuckingandshoving,screamingalltheway.
Stonejumpedoffofherinstantlyandscrambledtohisfeet,puttingdistancebetweenthem.“It’sallright.I’mbackingoff.”
Buthelookedworried.Shesatup,realizedhowcrazysheprobablylooked,andhungherfaceinherhands.Damnit.Shewasworried,too.Aftertonight,shewouldhaveswornshe’dbrokenthroughsomementalbarrier.
“Itmighttakemorethanonenight,youknow?”Hecrookedafingerunderherchin.Evenasshetriedtoresist,hegaveherhisquietresolveandpatience.“I’mnotgivingup.Neitherareyou.”
“It’sbeenyears.”Shewantedtocry,andthefuckingtearsstillwouldn’tcome.
“Butnotwithme.We’vetriedthisonce.Tomorrowisanotherday,huh?Smileforme.”
“Ican’tleaveyoulikethis,wantingandachingand…”
“Withoutrelief?Baby,thatself-pleasurethingisabreezeforme.Imastereditattwelve.Icanspendafewminutesintheshowerandbefine.WouldIlikeitasmuchassexinanyformwithyou?Fuck,no.YouhavenoideahowmuchI’dgiveup—oneeye,anut,andmyentireStarWarscollection.ButIwon’tgiveyouup.We’llgetthere,ifthat’swhatyouwant.”
“Isn’tsexsupposedtobeaboutgiveandtake?Ionlytook.”Thatdevastatedher.Somuchfornormal.
“Yougave,too.Besidesgreatspank-bankmaterial,seeingyouinpleasurewilllingerlongerthananyfleetingclimaxofmyown.I’llrememberthatmomentandreplayitoverandoverinmyhead.”
Shechewedonherlip,tryingtohearwhathesaid.Guiltanddisappointmentstifledher.“But—”
“Shh,I’mgoodwithtonightbeingaboutyou.”
EvenasLilywonderedifhewasrightandshewasn’treadyforsex,oralorotherwise,shefeltalmostdisappointedthathewasn’tinsistingonmore.“Can’titbeaboutyou,too?”
“Ihopeitwillbesoon.Butdon’tsweatitnow.”
Beforeshecouldargueagain,hisphonebuzzedinsistently,cuttingoffthemusicthathadfilledthebackgroundandaddedtotheirmood.
Stonejumpedtohisfeetandgrabbedit.“Justaminute,”hesaidintothedevice,thenheldouthisfreehandtoher.“Baby,whydon’tyougotobed?Youlookexhausted.”
Inotherwords,theirtimetogetherwasoverandtherealworldwascalling.Whycouldn’tshehavekepthershittogetherandopenedherarmsandbody?He’ddonenothingtofreakheroutormakeherwary.Onceshe’dgottenoverherviolent-ex-conmisunderstandingandrealizedshe’dnevermetagentlerman,shereallyshouldhavebeenabletoshareherselfwithhim.
Wassheevenmorebrokenthanshe’dthought?
Lilyignoredhisoutstretchedhand.Onshakylegs,shegottoherfeetandheadedforthedoor,feelingsomewherebetweenembarrassedandbroken.“Goodnight.”
***
STONEwatchedLilywalkoutoftheplayroomwithherheadhangingandhershouldersslumped.Itfuckinghurthisheart,butshealwayssaidsheneededtimetothink.Maybesomeofthatnowwoulddohergood.Hewasn’tsurehowshewouldhavehandleditifhehadtriedto…Whatwouldhehavedone,giventhechance?Hewantedtodomorethanhavesexwithorfuckher.Hedidn’tmerelywanttomountandtakeher.No,hewantedtomakelovetoLily.Shit,he’dneverreallydonemorethanscratchanitchwithawomanbefore,andnowhewantedtousehisbodytotellLilyTaylorhowcrazyhewasabouther.
Oh,hell.A)Hehaditbad.B)Itwouldcrushhimifhetriedtomakelovetoheragainandshefreaked.AndC)Whatthefuckshouldhedonext?
Alloftheabovewasswirlingthroughhisheadwhenheheardthefamiliarmalevoicecallfromthephoneinhishand.“Hello?”
StonejerkedthedevicetohisearandshutthedoorsoLilycouldn’thear.“Here.Sorry.What’sup?”
Hehopeditwasquickbecausehereallydidn’twanttoleaveheraloneanddejectedforlong.
“Lots,andnoneofitgood,”JackColesaid,histonealmostapologetic.
Motherfuckingsonofabitch.“Layitonme.”
“I’llgiveyouthe‘good’newsfirst.Wecan’tfindCanton.NoonehasseenhimnearGalveston,atleastnotcamping.Wetookhispicturetoeverystateparkandcampgroundwithinafifty-mileradius.Nothing.IthinkHunterreallywantedtopoundsomeone’sfacebecausethebaby’sstillnotsleepingandhe’sgrouchy,butwecouldn’tfindanyonewhoseemedremotelysuspicious.”
Ifthatwasthegoodnews,Stonewasn’tsurehewantedtohearhowterriblethebadwas.“SoCantonisoutinthewindsomewhere?”
“Yeah.IhadmybuddyTylercallafewcontactsbackinLosAngelesfromhisLAPDdays.There’sdefinitelynooneatthehouseexceptamaidandapetsitter.Hiscarisstillinthegarage.He’slockedhisphoneandIhaven’tbeenabletotraceit.Youmighttry.”Jackrattledoffthenumberandthee-mailaddressassociatedwiththedevice.
Stonedidn’twanttoknowhowtheothermanhadgottentheinfoandhedidn’tcare.“Dependingonthephone,Imightbeabletohackandtrackit.Somehaveoperatingsystemsdesignedtoenableafulllockdownunlessyouhavethepassword,butI’llseewhatIcando.”
“Sincewedon’tknowwhereCantonis,hecouldbeanywhere.It’spossiblehe’snowherenearLily.”
ButJackdidn’tsoundasifhebelievedthat.Stonedidn’t,either.
“Whatelse?”heprompted.
“ThebombthatblewupLily’scarwasgrade-Aprofessionalstuff.NoneofthishomemadeshitthrowntogetherwithPVCpipeandhouseholdchemicals.Myguessisthatwhoeverhe’semployinghadsomemilitarytraining—theelitekind.Huntersaidhesawthepicturesofwhatwasleft.ItlookedlikesomethinghewouldhavelearnedinadvanceddemolitionstrainingafterbecomingaSEAL.Itwasalsoprogrammedtodetonateviaremotecontrol,notasimpletimer.Whichmeansthatwhoeverpressedthebuttonwasprobablywatchingher.”
Stonereplayedthesequenceofeventsinhisheadandfrowned.“Ifhehadeyesonher,hewaitedtoolateandmissedhiswindowofopportunity.She’djustclimbedoutofthecaraminutebeforeitexploded.Whywait?”
“Malfunction?Fuckup?”Jacksighed.“Don’tknow.Weshouldcountourselvesluckyandmoveon.Doyourememberseeinganyonehangingaroundoutsideatherapartmentcomplex?Anyonewhomighthavebeenwatchingher?”
Notreally.Hehadn’tbeenthinkingaboutanythingexceptreachingLilybeforeshefledforgood.Pacing,hementallyreplayedhisdrivetohercomplexandintotheparkinglot.“IrememberseeinggardenersandthinkingIfeltsorryforthepoorbastardsoutthereinthemiddleofthedaybecauseit’sAugust.Buttheyallhadlawnmowersandedgersintheirhands.Nothingthatcoulddetonateabomb.”
“Yeah.I’mnotsurprisedyoudidn’tseeanyonewholookedsuspicious.Itisfuckinghotoutthere,andtheguywhoblewuphercarwouldn’twantanyonetonotice—”
“Wait!Ididseesomeoneelse.”Stonesuddenlyremembered.“Aguyononeofthebalconies.Ididn’tgetagoodlookathisfacesincehewaswearingaballcap.Dodgers,Ithink.IrememberhimholdinganiPad.WhenIdrovein,helookedupandsawme.Ididn’tthinkanythingofitatthetimebecauseIwasdrivinglikeamaniac.ButnowI’mwondering…”
“Whereinthecomplexdidyouseehim?Canyoudescribewhichbalcony?”
Stonereconstructedthedriveinhismindagain,mentallyslowingdownthesequenceofevents.Doinghisbesttoexplainwhathesawandwhere,hetoldJackeverythingherecalled.“Sorryit’snotmoredetailed.Thatwasn’tmyfocus.”
“I’llsendSeanovertheretocheckitout,seeifhecanlayeyesonthisguy,maybefigureoutwhathesaworwherehe’sgone.Maybehewasarandomresidentoutthereenjoyingthechoking,wetheatwhileheplayedhissolitaireorwhatever.”
Butprobablynot.
“Thatwouldbegreat.Keepmeposted.Thiswholefuckingmessgivesmeabadfeeling.”
“Can’tsayIblameyou.”Jacksighed.“Nowforthereallycrappynews.”
What?“Becauseyou’vebeenabundleofcheersofar?”
“Oh,yeah.Thatwasmyhappyvoice.”
Hesoundedanythingbut.Stoneshookhishead.“Well,ifyou’regoingtopissinmycornflakes,thenletitallout.”
“AxellandedinDallasanhourago.HewantedtodriveouttheretonightandseeSweetPea.ImeanLily.Aftertalkingtohim,werealizedhowmuchhereallydidn’tknowaboutherpast.Outofrespectfortheir…friendship,wewantedtogivehertheopportunitytotellhimeverything,buthe’dguessedenoughtopunchholesinourcoverstory.Afterthat,wehadtogiveuptherestofthetruth.SoAxelisuptospeednow.HeknowsexactlywhoLilyisandaboutourplanstocoaxhertotestify—andhe’spissed.”
“Atherfornotconfessingallofherpast?”Sure,theguymighthavewantedtoknowit,butLilydidn’toweshittothemanwhohadn’tlovedher.“Oratus?”
“Atyouforusinghertogetoutofjail.”
Stonedidn’tcarewhattheexthought.“That’snotwhyIsavedherorwhyI’mwithher.”
Hemighthavestartedthisbecausehe’dwantedoutofprison.NowheonlywantedLilytobehappyandfree.Whenhadthatchangehappened?
“Axeldoesn’tseeitthatway.Buthisfirstpriorityisreassuringhimselfthatshe’sallright.Thorpetalkedhimoutofdrivingthefivehourstoyoubyconvincinghimthathe’dneverfindthecabinatnight.SeanistryingnowtopersuadeAxelthattheyneedbootsonthegroundtohelpferretCantonoutmorethanthatgirlneedsherformeroverprotectivementortowatchoverher.Idon’tknowiftheargumentisworking.”
“Axelisthatdetermined?”StonehadhopedthattheguywouldmerelycallorwanttobeclosebyincaseLilyneededhim.HecouldpictureAxeldemandingthatStonebringherbacktoDallas,inwhichcasehewasmorethanhappytotelltheextofuckoff.ButAxelcomingtothiscabinandgettinginLily’spersonalspacewouldonlymesswithherhead.
“More,”Jackmurmured.“IfIwereyou,I’dprepareforincoming.We’lldoourbesttoholdhim,butdon’texpectthatwecankeephimawayfromherforlong.”
HowthefuckwashesupposedtosurpassnearlythreeyearsofthetrustandloyaltyAxelhadbuiltwithLilyandbecomehernumberoneinacoupleofdays?Withapsychoontheloosewhoknewashitloadaboutmakingbombs?
“Sonofabitch.Yougotanygoodnews?”
“Thesunwillcomeuptomorrow…”Jackmimickedthesongfromthatmusicalabouttheredheadedorphan.
“Shutthefuckup,Annie.”
Jackbarkedoutalaugh,thensobered.“I’llkeepworkinghere.Thorpe,Sean,andtheEdgingtonsareonyourside,too,man.Ifthat’sanyconsolation.”
Notreally.Helpful,maybe.Buthedidn’tcareasmuchaboutsuddenlyhavingbrofriendsashedidaboutkeepingLilysafe.
“Keepmeposted.Thanks.”
“Willdo.”
Jackendedthecall,andStonemarchedoutoftheplayroomandintothehall.Hisgazewasimmediatelydrawntothebedroomdoor.Lilyhadleftitslightlyajar.She’dkilledthelights.Whenhestuckhisheadin,itlookedasifshe’dalreadyfallenasleep.
Outinthelivingroom,hehuntedupherphone,whichhe’dtemporarilyhiddeninanemptycookietininthebackofoneofthecabinets.Heturnediton.Sureenough,Axelhadtextedabouttenmilliontimesandcallednearlythatmanyinthelasttwentyhours—withanine-hourgapinthemiddleforhisflight.
Stonecouldhackintoherphoneandlistentohermessages,butshe’dseeitasabetrayaloftrust,andhecouldguesswhatAxelhadsaid.Hewasjustsurprisedthattheguyhadn’tactuallycalledhim.
Rightoncue,Stone’sphonebegantobuzz.Axel.ThenumberonhisdisplaymatchedwhatLilyhadinhercontacts.HisfirstinstinctwastoanswersohecouldgrowlintothephoneandcussoutthesonofabitchforsoobviouslynotlovingLilyandforabandoningher,leavingheruncertainofherownfutureandappeal.HealsowantedtochastisethebastardandtellhimnottodrivethefucktoLouisiana.HewouldgetinLily’sface—andmesswithherhead.She’dbacktrack.Andadmittedly,Stonedidn’tneedherattentionontheothermanwhenhewastryingsohardtoreachher.
Buthestoppedhimself.Stonedidn’tknowAxelwellbutfromeverythinghe’dgleaned,probablynothinghesaidordidwouldkeepthebigbruiseraway.IftheguyhadflownbackfromEurope,hewasclearlydeterminedtoseteyesonLily.Whatever.Stonewouldratherspendhistimeandenergyonacausethatdidmatter—cementinghisbondwithher.
Decliningthecall,Stonepocketedthephoneandheadedbacktothebedroom.Ifhehadforty-eighthoursorlesstoearnLily’strustandaplaceinherheartbeforeAxelcrashedin,thenheintendedtoputeverymomenttogooduse.
ChapterTen
LILYwokeinStone’sarmsagain.Thistime,shewasn’tnearlyasrattledbyfindingherselfplasteredtohisside,hernosefilledwithhisscent,asshehadbeenyesterdaymorning.
Infact,nowshefounditalmostcomforting.
Fromhighintheskythesunslantedthroughthewindows,tellingherthatshe’dsleptlongandsoundlyagain.
BecauseonsomelevelshefeltsafewithStone.
Gently,sherolledawaysoshedidn’twakehim,thenstretched.Themusclesofherthighswereslightlysorefromallthetensingandtremblingshe’ddonelastnightwhilechasingorgasm.Butshesavoredthesensation.Hiswords,thepleasure,theintimacythey’dsharedallcrashedthroughherhead.Sheslantedaglancebackacrossthebedtohispowerfultorsoandruggedfacerelaxedinslumber.Withjusthiswordsandafewtouches,he’dgivenheramazingbliss.Whydidthisparticularmanhavesuchamagicaleffectonherbody?Onherpsyche?
Slowlyshecrawledoutofbedandmadeuseofthebathroom,includingagloriouslyhotshower.Leavingbehindacloudofsteam,shedressedinapairofshortshortswithshinybuttonsliningherhipsfromthightowaistandabrightredblouse.Afterblackliner,twocoatsofmascara,andcrimsonlipstick,sheblinkedintothemirror.Closeenough.Withasimplerollofherbangs,shesecuredthembackwithapolka-dotbow,thentiptoedintothekitchenandmadeherselfacupofcoffeeandsat,sippingatthetable.
Usuallythiswasherfavoritetimeofday.Thequietbeforetherushstarted,atimeofreflectionwhenshecouldorganizeherthoughtswithoutbeingdisturbed.Rightnow,shefeltjumbled.Andterriblyalone.ThoughStonelayinthenextroom,shemissedhim.Oddly,asattachedasshehadlongbeentoAxel,she’dneverpinedforhiminquitethisway.She’dneverwantedhimasdeeply.
Lilynibbledonherlip.Whatdidthatmean?WasshefallingforStone?
Probably.
Attherealization,sheboltedfromherseatandpaced.Butshecouldn’trunfromthetruth.
Fallingforsomeonewasn’tpartofherplan.Ontheotherhand,shedidn’tknowhowtostopit.Logicallysheaskedwheretheycouldpossiblygofromhere.Itwasonethingtohaveascrewed-upsexlifewhenthemanyoushareditwithdidn’tactuallywantit.Stone,ontheotherhand,seemedtocravewhatevershecouldgivehim.Foraslongastheyremainedtogether,Lilyachedtogivehimallhesought.Hedeservednothingless.
Aslimitedashercomfortzonewas,couldsheevenbegintosatisfyhim?
Sheswallowed.Ofthat,shewaslesssure.
Amomentlater,sheheardhisfootstepscrossthehall.Thebathroomdoorshut.Lilywasn’treadytoseehim,totalk.Sheheadedoutside,slinkingontothewraparoundporchtogatherherthoughts.
Anoverhangjuttedoutonthesideofthecabintoprovidewelcomeshadethistimeofyear.Someonehadbuiltabenchundertherailing.Shesat,pullingherkneestoherchest,andglancedoutoverthesultryheatoftheswamp,justthissideofbearablebeforenoon.Whatthehellwasshegoingtodo?
Normally,whendoubtsorinsecuritiesbeganeatingawayathercomposure,shecalledAxel.ButnotonlywasheinEnglandlivinghisnewlife,she’dlefteverythingbehind.Everyone.Ifshedidn’thaveanyintentionofreturningtoDallas,shecouldn’tleanonthosefriendsanymore.Itdidn’tevenmatterwhereshe’dsetherphone,becauseshewasn’tcallingthem.Shehadtostandonherowntwofeet.
Makeadecision.Carryitout.Stopbeingafraid
Beforeshecouldlistentoherownadvice,sheturnedandfoundStoneintheportal,watchingher.
Freshlyshoweredandshirtless,hegleamed,hisskinbronzedandtightoverallthoserough-carved,ink-coveredmuscles.Heworejeans.Hisfeetwerebare.Atthesightofhim,athrillzippedthroughher.
“Yougood?”heasked.“WhenIcouldn’tfindyou,Iworried.Iwantedtomakesureyouwereallright.”
Notbecauseshewasaresponsibilitytohimbutbecauseshemattered.
Hiswordstouchedherwaymorethanshewanted.
Shecouldn’tstopherselffromrunningtohim,throwingherselfinhisarms,feelinghisstrength,hiswarmth,hiscaring.Inherhead,Lilyrealizedsheshouldbeputtingdistancebetweenthem.Inherheart,shefearedthatwasnolongerpossible.
HerstomachtwistedwithnervesasshereachedStoneandflungherselfagainsthim.Hegruntedandstumbledastepbackasheabsorbedherimpact.Thenheplanted,heldfirm.Hisarmsclosedaroundher,enclosinghertightagainsthischest.
“Baby?”hemurmuredinherear,hisvoicelowwithconcern.
Lilydidn’tknowhowtoanswerhim.Shejustclungtighter.“Tellmeit’sallright.”
“Don’tworry.We’redoingeverythingwecantolocateCantonandputastoptohim.Noonehasseenorheardfromhimlately.ItalkedtoJacklastnight.Butwhatevertheassholedoesnext,Idon’twantyoutoworry.I’lltakecareofyou.”
Shakingherhead,shelookedup,drinkinginthesincerityofhisdarkeyes.Yeah,sheshouldprobablybeworriedaboutherpersonalsafety.Truthwas,outhereshefeltamillionmilesawayfromdanger.Andascrazyasitmightseem,shetrustedStonetokeephersafe.
“Iknow.Ihavenodoubtyou’recallinginfavorsanddoingeverythingyoucan.It’smorethanyoushouldhavetodo.”Especiallybecauseshe’dlikelyendupleavingtostartanewlifesoon.
“Protectingyouismyfirstandonlyprioritynow.”
“Ibelieveyou,butthat’snotwhatImeant.”Suddenlyshecouldn’tquitelookhimintheeye.Shefeltaflushcrawlupherface.“Areweallrightafterlastnight?Ileftyouhangingwithout…”
“Finishingmeoff?”Hesmileddryly.“I’mfine.I’mmorethanfinebecauseIgottoseeyouinpleasure.LikeIsaid,greatspank-bankmaterial.”Hewinked.
“Youdon’thavetosugarcoatit.”Shedaredtotouchhischeek,trailingafingerdownthehard,slashingplane,feelingtheremnantsofdarkstubble.“IknowI’mnoteasytobewith.Lastnightifyou’dbeenwithanotherwoman,youwouldhavehadsexwithherand—”
“I’mnotfifteenanymore,somylifegoalisnolongertogetlaid.C’mon.”Hetookherhand.“It’sbarelyninea.m.,butifwedon’tfindtheair-conditionedcomfort,I’mprettysurewe’llroastoutheresoon.”
Hewasprobablyright,andsheallowedhimtoleadherinside.Onceheshutthedoorbehindthem,hesatheratthekitchentableandpouredthembothfreshcupsofcoffeebeforehetookthechairbesideher.Hestaredasifhewasworkinghardtofigureherout.
Lilydidn’tthinkitwasthatdifficult.Hisunwaveringattentionunnervedherabit.“Where’syourshirt?”
Notthatshewascomplaininghe’dgonewithoutone.
“Idon’thaveanyluggage.Ifoundafewextratoiletriesandafreshtoothbrush,butthisisdaythreewearingthesepants.Ifigurebytomorrowthey’llbedirtyenoughformetojustifyspendingthedaynaked.”Hewinked.
Thethoughtthathe’dspendthewholedaywithoutastitchonmadeherfeeltingly,fluttery—alive.Thesightofhisbareshoulderswiththeintricateinkdistractedher.Whatwouldhavingallthatpowerunderherhandsandbody,intentlyfocusedonpleasure,dotoher?Whatwoulditbeliketofeelasifshehadbecomeonewithhim?God,shewantedtoknow.
Shescreweduphercourageandmethisgaze.“Maybesexisn’tyourlifegoalanymore,but…it’skindofminerightnow.Iwanttodomoreofwhatwedidlastnight.I’mfeelingthingsI’mnotusedto,thingsI’veneverfelt.ThingsIthinknormalwomenexperience.Ifwetryagain,maybeI’llrespondlikeIshould.”
“Baby,I’mallforthat,buthoweveryourespondishowyou’resupposedto,”heargued.
“No,Ineedtobelikeotherwomen.”
“I’mnotinterestedinthem.”Stonescowled.“Listentome.There’sno‘normal.’”Whenshesenthimaskepticalstare,hewenton.“YoulikeThorpe,right?Thinkhe’sagoodguy?”
Thequestionsurprisedher.“Yeah,thebest.Imean,hepissessomepeopleoffbybeingahard-ass,especiallywhenhe’sright—whichismostofthetime.Butnearlyeveryonelikeshim.Eveniftheydon’t,theyrespecthim.”
“Right.Butbymostofsociety’sstandards,he’safreak.Legallyhefucksanotherman’swife,andherhusbandnotonlyletshimbutparticipates.Together,heandSeantieherupandspankherand…whoknowswhatelse?Doyouthinklessofhimfornotbeing‘normal’?”
Sheponderedthat.“No.Thorpedoeswhat’srightforhim.AndCallieandSean,ofcourse.That’sjustthem.”Shesighed.“Igetit.You’retellingmethathoweverIbehave,sexuallyspeaking,that’sjustme.”
“Prettymuch.Ourexperiencesallshapeus,right?Minewereprettycommon.Look,Idon’thaveanythingtraumaticinmypast,excepttheshitIbroughtonmyself.Icanonlyimaginewhatyouwentthroughwatchingyourfriendbebrutalizedandkilled.Hasitcontributedtothewayyoureacttosex?Thewayyoureacttome?Yeah.Doesthatmakeitbadorwrong?No.Youcopehoweveryouneedto.I’llplayalongandjustbehappytotouchyou.”
Lilycaughtherbreath.She’dhopedhewouldsaysomethinglikethat.Itwenthandinhandwithprettymucheveryotheranswerhe’devergivenher—kind,understanding,accommodating.Lilyalmostpinchedherselfbecauseshekeptthinkinghemustbetoogoodtobetrue.Whyonearthhadshebeenavoidinghimallsummerlong?Yeah,herfears.Theonesshewasdeterminedtoovercomenow.
Heartracinglikeajetengine,shestoodandheldoutherhand.“Willyoucometouchmenow?Willyouletmetrytogiveyoumore?”
Stonezeroedinonherhand;thenhisgazezoomeduptoherface.Hestoodsofastthathischairscrapedacrosstheoldhardwood.Aglancedownprovedhewasalreadyerect.“Yousure?”
Shenodded.“Youweremyfirstthoughtthismorning.Ifixatedonyouintheshower.IponderedyouwhenIsatoutside,when—”
“Baby,Ifixatedonyouintheshower,too,”heassuredherwithaslygrin.
Lilyknewhemeanttolightenthemoodandsmiled.“Yes,butIwasn’ttouchingmyself.”
“That’sashame.Butthedayisyoung.AndmaybethatmeansIgettowatchagain.”
“Actually,Iwashopingyouwouldtouchmeinstead.Andthatwecould…havesex.Ortry.”
Hisfacesoftened.“Youdon’thavetohope.We’lltrywhateveryouwant.You’llfindI’mapersistentbastard.Ihavenodoubtwe’llgetthere.”
Whenshesmiledathim,hewhoopedloudlyandscoopedherupinhisarms.
“Stone!”sheprotested,holdinginagiggle.
Everythingaboutbeingwithhimfeltsodifferent.SheandAxelhadneverlaughedwhenthey’ddecidedtobeintimate.Healwaysaskedherquestions,kepttrackofhermentalandemotionalstate.Dependingonheranswers,he’dtrysomethingdifferent.Shewouldrespond.Ornot.Thentheprocessstartedallover.Whenthey’dbeentogether,she’dsometimesfeltasiftheywereengagedinamedicalexam,notsex.
BeingwithStonewasmorelikebeinginthemiddleofaparade—alwayssomethingnewandbrightandamazingeverytimeshetookabreath.
“Holdon,baby.We’regonnatakeourcrazychemistryoutforatestdrive.”Hestrodetothebedroom,laidheracrossthebed,thensethisphoneonthenightstand.“Oneminute.”Hedashedbackupthehall,leavingherfrowninginhiswake.Wherewashegoing?Whenhereturned,hegrippedaboxinhishand,whichheploppednexttohiscell.
Condoms.
“Youonbirthcontrol?”heasked.
Sheshookherhead.Shehadn’tbeensexuallyactiveenoughtobother.Butasanadult,she’dalwaysbeencareful.
“Thenit’sagoodthingJackisprepared.IfoundtheseyesterdaywhenIfirstcheckedouttheplayroom.SexmightnotbemygoalbutIsureashellwantit,soIrememberedwheretofindthem.”Heswayedcloserwithagrin.“Can’thelpitifI’manoptimist.”
Justlikelastnight,hisobviousdesireforherwasbothabalmandaturn-on.“Youhavealottobeoptimisticabout.I’mfeelingstrong.Iwantthis.”
Hesaunteredtothesideofthebedandshuckedhispants,leavinghimselfcladinonlyhisbriefs.Theyoutlinedhisrigidcock,whichlookedalittleintimidatingnowthatshewaspayingattention.Withoutthinking,shetrailedherfingersdownthevalleythatbisectedhiswashboardabsanddisappearedintohiswaistband.Thismanclearlybelievedinagoodworkoutandhadmassiveamountsofcorestrength.
Asshefondledhim,hesuckedinabreath.“Touchingmelikethatcouldbedangerous.Younervous?”
“Excited,”shecorrected.Anticipationjumpedinsideher,revvingherheart.Butmostlythedesiretofeelhimeverywhere,touchingher,fillingher,didthat.“You?”
“Both.Don’tgetmewrong.I’mlookingforwardtothis,baby.ButIwantittobeagoodexperienceforyou,notascaryone.”
Lilyknewthat,anditwasoneofthethingsshemostlikedaboutStone.“Me,too.I’mhopingwe’llbothbesatisfiedthistime.”
“You’reoverdressed,”hepointedout.“CanIhelpyoufixthat?”
Awarmflushsweptthroughherbodyandheatedhercheeks.Butnervescreptin,too.Wouldhelikewhathesaw?Wouldheaskquestions?“Inaminute.First,Iwanttoexplore.”
Lilysatonherknees,balancingonthemattress.Shehoveredsocloseitmadeherbreathless.Shereachedout,skimmedhisshoulderwiththetipsofherfingers.
Hissteelymuscleslayjustunderhissoftskin.Justtouchinghimmadeherbloodchurn.Herbreathingwasn’tquitesteady.Withhisperceptivedarkgaze,hestudiedhereverymove.Nodoubthesawherpulsepounding.Sheplacedherpalmonhischest,overhisheart.Itraced,too.Shesmiled.
“Yougettome,”heassured.
“Thatmakesmefeelbetter.Ishouldn’tbetheonlyoneaffected.”
Heshookhishead.“You’renot,butyoureallyareoverdressedfortheoccasion.Letmelookatyou,baby.”
“Lastnightwasallaboutme.”Shedeflected.“Letmemakerightnowaboutyou.”
Abigsmilebrokeacrosshisface.“HowcanIsaynotothat?”
Nowthatshehadsuchanexpanseofmanspreadoutforhertaking,Lilyalmostcouldn’tdecidewheretostart.Shecaressedherwayuphischest,encompassedhismassiveshoulders,herfingerstremblingastheyskatedoverhisskin.Axelhadbeenrippedandmasculine,too.ButStoneaffectedherinawayshecouldn’texplain.Andshedidn’twanttositarounddissectingit.Shemerelywantedtoenjoy.
Leaningcloser,Lilypressedherlipstothehardstretchofhispectoralsjustbelowhiscollarbone.Shefollowedthetrailofinktherebeforeflittinguptohisneck.Heswallowed.Themusclesofhisthroatworked.HisAdam’sapplebobbed.Hisjawtightenedasshepressedmoregossamerkissesalongthehardline.
Finally,shefeatheredherlipsjustbelowhisear.“Justtouchingyouturnsmeon.”
Lilycouldhearthetremblingofherownvoice.Nowayhe’dmissthat.
“Baby,whenItouchyou,Igetsofuckingexcited.”Hecaressedherarm,hispalm,warmandarousing,driftingdownherbacktorestonherhip.“ThesecondIputahandonyou,Ijustwanttofeelyoueverywhere.”
Shemighthavedisputedthatorchidedhimforoverstatinghisarousalbutwhenshecaressedherwaydownthewideexpanseofhischest,herfingersgrazedhismalenipple.Itpuckeredtight.Shefeltafineshudderrollthroughhim.
Hispalmtrekkedloweruntilhecuppedherass.
“Baby,Ineedtogettheseclothesoffyouand—”
“You’rebeingimpatient,”shechidedwithasassywink.
Thetruthwas,shewishedtheroomweredarker.Whyhadn’tshewaitedtostartthisuntilthesunhadset?Sexwouldbemoreromanticinthemoonlight.Andhewouldn’tbeabletoseetherestofherbody.
“IwasimpatienttobeinsideyouthemomentIlaideyesonyou,”headmitted.
Lilyreallyhadnoideawhybutshewasn’tgoingtoargue.Shewas,however,goingtodistracthim.
Lettingherfingersdriftdownhistorso,shebrushedherbodyagainsthis,thenretreatedastep,lookinghiswaywithabatofherlashes.Beingthisnearhimwassuchathrill.
Shewethersuddenlydrylipswithaswipeofhertongue.“Kissme?”
Hegroaned.“You’reteasingme.”
“Alittle.”
“Alot.Therewillbeconsequences,Lily.”
Ifitinvolvedsensualtormentandpleasure,yes.Despitehernervesandworries,shewasgame.“Kissme.”
Stoneslidhisfingersintoherhairandtiltedherheadpreciselywherehewantedit.Thenhedoveintohermouth.Sheknewbetterthantoexpectamerebrushofhislipsoverhersorapeck.Hewentfortotalpossession,fingerstanglinginhertresses,lipsnudginghersapartashistonguesweptdeepanddemandedherresponse.Meltingagainsthim,sheglidedherfingersuphisarm,driftedabarelytheretouchupthesideofhisneck,allwhileopeningwideandsurrenderingtohiskiss.
Inretaliation,heclimbedontothemattressandflattenedhertothebed.Theweightofhimpressedinonher,startlingherandincitingacurloffear.Lilyforcedherselftobreathethroughitandignoreherapprehension.Shedidherbesttogiveintohim.
I’mclothed.Mylegsarefree.I’mfine.ThisisStone
Sheconcentratedonhismuskyscent,thehardraspofhisstubble,hisurgentmoanassheclosedhereyesandslowlydrownedinhiskiss,openinghersensestohim.Hewasn’thurtingorforcingher,justmakingherdizzyandtingly.Howdidhedothatbymerelymeldinghismouthtohers?
Whenherolledbetweenherthighsandpressedagainstherfemalefleshalreadydampeningandsofteningforhim,hegrippedherhips.Hischesteclipsedhers.Heburiedhisfaceintothecrookofherneck.Hishot,heavybreathsheatedherskin.Bitingherlip,Lilytriedtofindalittlewiggleroomordaylight.
None.
Stonethrust,shovinghisunyieldingcockroughlyagainsthermound.Suddenly,shecouldn’tmove.Couldn’ttakeabreath.Shefelttoopinned,tooconfined.Evenwithclothingseparatingthem,histouchoverwhelmed.Panicrose.Shetriedtobreathepastitandkeepcalm.God,shedidn’twanttostophimbecauseshewasaheadcase.Despitehersnapjudgmentofhimwhenthey’dfirstmet,hewasagoodguy.
Lastnight,he’dbeensuchagivinglover.Hecouldsaythatherhesitationandfeardidn’tmatter,butLilyknewbetter.Theywerenevergoingtomakeitifshecouldn’tgivebacktohimsexuallyinanysortofreciprocalway.
Wrappingherthigharoundhiships,shegavehimashoveandurgedhimtorolltohisback.Hecomplied,breakingtheirkiss,thensettledherontopasshestraddledhiships.
Thereliefshefeltwasinstant.
“Oh,youlookprettyupthere.”Heclaspedherhipswithfirmfingers,gyratingherdownonhisiron-harderection.“I’mgoingtoenjoywatchingyourideme.”
That’sexactlywhatshewanted.Shelaidherpalmsflatonhisbulgingpectorals,sighingatthewayhetensed,flexed,andrippledunderherhands.“Iwanttodothat.Rightnow.”
Whenshereachedforthewaistbandofhisbriefs,hegrabbedherwrists.“You’renowherenearready.What’sgoingon?You’reinabighurrytogetonwithit.”
Shehadn’tfooledhimatall.Lilysighedandclosedhereyes.“I’mjustunsteadywith…weightontopofme,withnotbeingabletomove.”Orgetaway.“ButIwantyou.Ineedtobelievewecandothis.”
“I’msosorry,baby.Allyouhadtodowassayso.We’llworkwithit.We’llgetthere.It’sfine.”
“ButI’mfrustrated!Howmanyaccommodationsshouldyouhavetomakeforme?It’sbeenyears.Iwasn’ttheoneraped.”
“Physically,no.Mentally,youwere.Yousawsomethingreallyuglywhenyouwerestillakidanditlingered.Itdisturbedyou.Itaffectedyou.Idon’tblameyouforthat.Youshouldn’tblameyourself.”
Maybenot,butblamingCantondidn’tmakeherfeelanylessfrightenedormorenormal.
Lilycastthethoughtaside.“You’resopatient.”
Thatalmostmadeherfeelmoreguilty.Tearspooledinhereyes.Oneortwoevenhithercheek.Asusual,though,shecouldn’tseemtohaveagut-deep,heartfeltsobfest.Thatfrustratedheraswell.
“Ihaveafeelingyou’regoingtobeworthit.”Hesneakedahandupunderhershirt,caressingthecurveofherwaistandwrappinghisarmaroundher.“Wherewerewe?Wasn’tIkissingyou?”
Slowly,Lilynodded.ObviouslyStonedidn’tseethepointofdwellingonwhatshecouldn’tchangerightthisinstant.Hewouldneverenjoysexwithherifshekeptworryingandwhiningaboutit,too.
Sheforcedasmile.“Ithinkso.”
Loweringherselfagainsthischest,shetookhisbigfaceinhersmallhands,herpaleskinasharpcontrasttohisbronzedcheeks,andlayeredhermouthoverhis.
Unlikethewayhekissed,shehesitated,atfirstbarelymorethanasharingofbreaths.Itwasn’tenough—notevenclose.Soshetiltedherheadandlaidherlipsoverhis,pressingherbreastsagainsthim,revelinginthewayhecradledheragainsthismorepowerfulbodyandmoaned.
“Opentome,baby.”
Lilydidn’tthinktwiceaboutcomplying.Shefeltsafenow,soshepartedherlipstohimwithabandon,seducinghimwithaslightcurlofhertongueandacoyretreat.Hesurgeddeeper,stalkingher,forcinghiswayintohermouthashegrabbedhandfulsofhershirt,ensuringshecouldn’tpullawaythistime.
Beneathher,hebenthisknees,spreadthemapart,andsurgedup.Histhickerectionproddedherslickeningflesh,causinghertogasp.
“That’sit.”Hetrailedhislipsdownherneck,makinghershiver.“Iwanttoseeyoucomeapartforme.Iwantyouunraveledandtousledandoutofyourmindwithdesire.”
“I’mhalfwaythere,”shepanted.
“Good.Nowlet’sgettotheotherhalf.”Hisfingerssnakedaroundherback.Acoupleofstrokeslater,thebandofherbraloosened.Thegarmentfellawayfromherbody.
“Howdidyoudothatwithonehand?”
Stonegrinned.“Determination.I’mgoingtotouchyoueverywhere,baby.Youtellmewhenit’stoomuch.”
Hedidn’twaitforhertosayanythingmorebeforehesatherupstraightagainandreachedintotheshortsleeveofherblouse,thenpulledonebrastrapoverherelbowandoffherarm.Hedidthesamewiththeother,hisdarkstarefocusedonher,watchingcarefully.Whenheeasedhisfingersunderhershirtandupherabdomen,hepulledherbraawayandtosseditacrosstheroom.Shegaspedatthesuddenfreedom,atthefrictionofhernipplesagainstthestarchedcotton.
Throughthefabric,Stonecradledherbreastinhishand,lightlypinchinghernipple.“Thissore?”
Shepantedandarchedintohishand.“Alittle.Butitfeelssogood.”
“Wanttoaddtothesensations?”
“Yeah.”Shenodded,losingherselfinhistouch,inthemountingbliss.
“That’sagoodgirl.Hmm…”Hewithdrewhishandfromherbreast.Beforeshecouldprotest,heunfastenedthefirsttwobuttonsofherblouse.
Whenhereachedforthethird,shegrippedhisthickwristtostayhim.Damn,shecouldevenfeelhismusclesflexandbunchthere.“Canyouleavethisonfornow?”
Hedidn’thesitate.“Absolutely.ButIwanttoseethosebreasts.Iwanttotakethosenipplesinmymouthandhearyouwhimper.”
Evenifhelefthershirton,shedidn’tthinkwhimperingwouldbeanyproblem.“Please.”
Stonetuggedthetwohalvesofhershirtasfarapartashecouldwithoutbustingthebuttons.Lilylookeddowntoseeherbreastsentirelyexposed.Hestaredraptly.
“They’renotbig,”shesaidinapology.
Hescowledatherself-criticism,thenpouncedonthetwinmounds.Cuppingthemasifriveted,hedovein,histhumbscapturingandpinningthetwinpointsagainsthisthickfingers.
“They’reperfect,”hemuttered.Thenhetookoneofthetightbudsinhismouth.
LightninghisseddownLily’sspine.Shearchedandbalancedherselfasbestshecouldforhisonslaught.She’dbarelyabsorbedthosesensationsbeforeheswitchedtotheotherbreast,tonguinghertautbud,nippingatitwithhisteeth.
“Stone,”shemoaned.“Ohmygod…Yes!”
Thoughsheknewhecouldbecapableofgreattenderness,heateatherasifhewerestarved,asifhecouldn’twaitanothermomenttotasteeverythingsheoffered.Overherflesh,hislipsdragged,tongueswirling.Hesucked,tugged,moaned.
Curlingherhandaroundhisneck,shedrewhimcloser,holdinghimagainstherasifshecouldn’tstandforhimnottohavehersensitivetipinhismouth.Thenshetossedherheadbackandfelthercautionbegintobreak.
Withagrowl,heswitchedtotheotherpeak.Shefelteveryoneofthemusclesinhisarmsandchestbunchwitheffortashepulledherintighter,draggingherdownontopofhim.
Hernipplestingledastheydrewuptighterthanshe’deverfeltthem.Asheleftonetotormenttheother,thetiphe’djustabandonedthrobbedandached.Shecouldgetusedtothiseveryday.Infact,shewonderedhowshe’dlivewithoutthisheavenifhedidn’twanttotouchheragaintomorrow.
Hereleasedherbreast,pantingwildly.“Fuck,Lily.I’vegottotouchyourpussy.”
Shewhimperedathiswords.ButStonewasamanofaction.Heusedallhisbrutestrengthtorollherover.Heleapttothesideofthebedandtuggedhertotheedge,thentorehershortsfromherbody,yankingthemdownherthighs.Herpantiesdidn’tfareanybetter.Heallbutshreddedtheminhishands.
Stonestaredatherbaremound,hischestrisingandfallingashedraggedindeepbreaths.“Oh,Ineedthat.”
Evenwithherheartpoundingagainstherchestandananxiousballknottingherbelly,Lilywantedtogiveittohim.
Slowly,shepartedherthighs.Ashepulledherdrenchedfoldsapartwithhisthumbs,shehissedatthefeelofhishandsonher.Hewastouchingherrightthere
Discreetly,shetuggedherblousedowntoherhipsandanchoreditinplace.Itmightlooklikeanervousreactiontohim—ifheevenconsideredit.Asfocusedasthatmeltingchocolatestareofhiswas,shedidn’tthinkitcrossedhismindatall.
“Thisismine.”
Thathadtobethemostcavemanthinganyguyhadeversaidtoher.Whathadsparkedsomuchpossessivenessonhispart?“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Yourpussy.”Hisnostrilsflaredashedraggedherscentin.“Thatfuckingdeliciousscent.”
“Youcan…smellme?”Thethoughthorrifiedher.
“Oh,yeah.Youdon’tunderstand,doyou?”Whensheshookherhead,hejustgrinned.“Baby,sexisn’tpoliteorsanitary.Doneright,itshouldbedirtyandintimate.Thatscentservesapurpose.Ittellsmethatyou’rearoused.Anditonlymakesmeacheforyoumore.Sodon’tyoudarewishIcouldn’tbreatheyouin.Ever.”
“Really?”Ifheenjoyedit,thenshewantedtogivehimmore.
Lilyspreadherthighsabitwider.
“Yes,”hegroaned.“Thosepretty,poutinglips.ThattightclaspIknowI’llfeelonceIworkinsideyou.Thatpussymaybebetweenyourlegs,butmakenomistake.It’smine.”
Anirrationalzipofthrillwhiskedthroughher.Sheshouldcorrecthimsincetheywouldprobablyonlybetogetheruntilthedangerdieddownorhegotbored,whichevercamefirst.Butshedidn’twanttorefutehim.Shelikedtheideaofbeinghis.
“Yours.”
Triumphlithisface.“Giveittome.HolditopensoIcantakeit.”
Avoiceinthebackofherheadshoutedthatthiswastoointense,happeningtoofast.ThewomaninsideLilydidn’tcare.Shewasn’tlisteningtofearanymore.Shewassinkingintoecstasy.Stonewouldtakecareofher.
Withherelbows,shepressedthefabricoftheshirtdowntocoverherabdomen.ThensheloweredhertremblingfingerstoherfleshandheldherselfopenforStone.
Hisstarefeltlikeaninspection,asifhewascatalogingeverythingabouther.Desperately,shewaitedforhisnextmove,findingithardtobreathewithoutgasping,toliestillwithoutshaking.
ThenStoneloweredhisheadandkissedherthigh.Asshemoaned,heswipedapairoffingersrightoverhermostsensitivespot.Herbodyjerked.Heatscaldedherveins.Theacheunderhistouchtightenedviciously,grippingherinathrallsheneverwantedtoescape.
“Youlikeit.”Heslantedanarrogantstareupherbody,soundingproud.“Tellme.”
Hedidn’ttouchheragainuntilshecomplied.
“Ilikeit,”shewhispered.
“Youwantmore.”
Shegavehimashakynod.“Iwantalotmore.”
“Remindmewhoyourpussybelongsto.Whoyoubelongto.”
“You.”Fornow
Hesmiledinsatisfaction.“Yes,youdo.”
Thenhesaidnothingelse,justrubbedhersensitivenubbininsmall,lazycircles,oglingher.Shecouldn’tlookawayfromhiseyes,fallingunderhisspellasshewrithedunderhistalentedfingerswhileheslowlydismantledhercomposureandrestraint.
Pleasureswirledandgathered,coiling,tightening.Thefamiliargripofneedmadeherbodytense,herbreathhitchandcatch.Sheachedforhimtohurryhertoorgasm.Ironically,shewantedthisslideofblisstogoonforever.Forsolong,thedeliciousbuildtoanexplosionofdesirehadbeenararity.IfshestayedwithStoneforlong,Lilysuspectedshe’dberegularlybuckingandkeeningandcryingouthisname.
“Touchyournipples.Keepthemniceandhardforme.Good…Themomentyoucome,I’mgoingtogetinsideyou,baby.AndI’mgoingtosuckthoseprettypeakswhileIslidedeep.It’sgoingtofeelsofuckinggood.”
Lilyhadnodoubtaboutthat.
Ashedraggedthoseruthlessfingersoverherswellingbud,herfoldsgrewslicker.Theyplumped.Sensationsmounted.Hernipplesstoodatrigidattention,andeverytimeshetouchedthem,heatsuffusedher,lingered,spread.Shenearlycrawledoutofherskinwithneed.
Whensheshiftedherhipsrestlessly,hepinnedhertothebedwithhisfreehandandresumedhisunrelentingtorment.“Thereyouare.Yourclitishard,baby.Waitingandpoutinganddesperate.Ilovetowatchyourskinturnrosyforme.God,you’refuckinggorgeous.”
She’dalwaysfeltlikethe“cute”friend.Calliewasastrikingbeauty,soofcourseshe’dfoundlove.AxelhadtakenonelookatMystery’sexoticfeaturesandfallenhard.EvenplayboyXander,whomshe’dneverpicturedsettlingdown,hadsurrenderedhishearttoacurvysirenofablonde.Togetherwithhisbrother,thethreesomenowhadthemostpreciousbow-lippedbabygirl.
UntilStone,noonehadreallylookedherwayandseenadesirablewoman.Ofallfemalesontheplanet,whyher?
“No.I’mjustme,”shegaspedout.
“Yeah,gorgeous.You’redelicateatfirstglance.Petite.YourlipstickandstockingsandtinywaistsittingontopofthosestackedhipsmademehardtheminuteIsawyou.Amanwhoisn’tlookingcloselywouldthinkthatsweethigh-pitchedvoicebelongstoalittlegirl.Butunderneath,you’reawoman.Andasurvivor.Youmaybequiet,andIthinkyoufoolalotofpeople,butyou’vegotgumption,baby.Icanonlyimaginewhatyouwerethinkingwhenyoupulledagunonanex-con.Idigachickwhocanholdherown,andyoudefinitelycan.”Thehandanchoringhertothebedglideddownherhipandstoleacrosstheinsideofherthigh.
Withoutwarning,heeasedtwofingersinsideher,fillingherupcompletely.Andhegroaned.“Jesus,you’resofuckingtight.Andcrap,you’rebeggingmeforthisorgasmwiththosefuck-meeyes.Yourwholebodyisshaking,workingforit.You’rerightthere,aren’tyou?”
Lilynoddedfrantically.Thewayhetalkedtoherturnedherinsideout.Axelhadalwayscoachedandencouraged,everhelpfulandgentle.He’dneververballyseducedherormadeherfeelasifhecouldn’twaittogetinsideher.Evenwhenhe’dgivenherclimax,she’dfeltmorelikeascienceexperimentthanasirenunleashinghersexuality.
Stone’sfingersinsideherfeltintimate.Hestretchedherfleshwithagentleburn.Thethumbstillworkingherclitrampedupthesweetacheevenmore.Itclimbed,overtakingandoverwhelmingher.Thisorgasm,eventhoughithadn’tcrestedyet,blewyesterday’saway.Up,up,shesoareduntilthecataclysmseizedherentirebody.Shenolongerbelongedtoherselfbutentirelytohim.Hetoyedwithherflesh,wieldeditagainsther,thenmanipulatedheruntilshejolted,froze,andwailedinstartling,sparklingbliss.
Shestoppedbreathing,thinking—bathedonlyinfeeling—asthedelugeofecstasyencompassedher,sweepingherupinitspath,tossingheraroundinadizzyingswirl,beforesendinghertumblingbackdown.
Lilydraggedinairasshemeltedintothemattresswithamoan.HereyesdriftedshutasStonebenttopressakisstotheexpansebetweenherbreastsasheslidhisfingersfree.Amomentlater,sheheardcardboardripping,thenatearofsomethingwithaslightlymetallicsound.
Whenshecrackedhereyesopen,shefoundStonestandingbetweenherlegs,rollingthecondomslowlyoverhisimpressivegirthandlength.Axelhadprobablybeenbigbutshehadn’treallylooked,justreacted,mostlyfocusinginonherthoughtswhenhe’daskedquestions.
ThewayStonestrokedhiserection,heclearlywantedhereyesonhim.Hewasobviouslyarousedbytouchinghimselfwhileshewatchedhiseverymove.
Finally,herolledthecondominplace.“Youstillgoodtodothis?”
Afterthatmonsterorgasm?Eagerwasmorelikeit.“Yes.”
Hesmiledanditbrightenedhisentireexpression.Butnothingwoulderasethedarkfireofhisstarepenetratingherassurelyasheintendedtowithhisbody.“Howdoyouwanttodothis,baby?”
“CanIbeontop?”
“Thatsoundsperfect.”Helaidhisbigbodyacrosstherumpledbed,andLilywasamazedathowmuchofthespaceheconsumed.Helookedallbulgingarmsandrock-hardthighsashestretchedhiswidetorsoacrossthemattress.
Asshebegantoclimbonthebed,hepickedherup,ploppingherdownontopofhimuntilshestraddledhiships.Beneathherslicksex,hissteelyerectionproddedher,asilentdemand.Aftertheclimaxshe’djusthad,sheshouldn’tbeabletofeelarousalforweeks,maybemonths.Shewascertainlyusedtogoingwithout.Anxietyshouldbereturning.Sanity,too.Butno.Themomentshefelthimhardandreadyandimpatientunderneathher,shewantedhim.
“Hurry,”sheimplored.
“Yeah,Iwantit,too,baby.OnequestionbeforeIgoanyfurther.Howlonghasitbeenforyou?”
ChapterEleven
AThisquestion,Lilyshrankback.Stoneclampeddowntheurgetodamntheconsequencesandstartpoundingherdeep.Instead,hegrippedherhips,forcedhimselffromoneroughbreathtothenext,andwaited.
“Um…Afewmonths.”
Withthatvaguetone,hedidn’tbelieveherforaninstant.Andthatpissedhimoff.“Howmanyisafew?”
Shewouldn’tmeethisgaze.“Idon’trememberexactly.”
Morebullshit.Shemightbesittingabovehimnow,buthedidn’twantherforgettingwhowasontop.
Hegrabbedherchinandforcedhertolookathim.“Givemeaballpark.Wasitoverthesummer?”
Theideamadehisgutgrind,hisjealousyflare.Whilehe’dbeenrefusingperfectlyeasyhookupsbecausehecouldn’tforgetacertainpetitepinupgirl,hadshebeen“workingthroughherissues”withAxel?Hadshebeengivingthemanherpussy?
“No.AxelhasbeenwithMysteryallsummer.”
Right.Good.Stonedialedbackonhishomicidalthoughtsoftheotherman.“Spring?”
Lilyfrownedasifshecouldn’tquiteremember.Sheclosedhereyestoavoidhisgaze.“Itwascolder,asIrecall.”
“Givemethegoddamntruth.Idon’tknowwhyyou’rehidingthisfromme,butI’mdyingtobeinsidethissweetcunt,makingyoumine.Idon’twanttohurtyoubyfuckingyoutoohard.Give.Me.An.Answer.”
Hisgrowlobviouslystartledher.Stonedidn’twanttoscareherbuthewasattheendofhisrestraint,damnit.He’ddonehislevelbesttobegentleandpatient,puttinghisneedsonthebackburner,andshegavehimliesinreturn?Whenallhewantedtodowastakeherthoroughly,stakehisclaim,andmakeherfeelsodamngood.
“ItwasjustafterNewYear’s.Iwasfeelingstupidlyoptimisticandhopefuland…”Shesighedwithdefeat,tuggingherblousedown.
Itwasn’tthefirsttimehe’dnoticedthegesture.
Makingamentalnotetopursuethatsoon,heprompted,“And?”
“Andwegotthroughit.Axel…”Sheshookherhead.“Let’snottalkaboutitnow.You’vewaited.Iwantyou.I’msorry.Itfeelsawkwardtotalkabouthimwhenwe’reaboutto…youknow.”
“Yeah,Iknow.”ButStonehatedthatherlastexperience—hell,prettymucheveryexperience—hadbeenlessthansublimelythrilling.Hedraggedinadeepbreath,forcinghimselftofindsomepatience.“We’regoingtodomorethan‘getthrough’this.”
Lilynodded,herplatinumcurlscaressinghershoulders.Butshelookeduncertain,asifshewerealreadypreparingherselftobesomewherebetweendisappointedandmiserable.
Morethananything,Stonewantedtorollontopofher,takecharge,showherwhatitfeltliketobewellandthoroughlypleasuredbyamanwhodidn’twanttobeanywhereelseorwithanyoneelse.Butshewasn’treadytorelinquishthatsortofcontrol.Ifhehadn’talreadywantedtoslitCantonfromthroattotesticles,hewascertainlyitchingtonow.Atthemoment,hewasn’tahugefanofAxel’seither.
“Doyouneedmetotouchorstrokeyoufirst?”sheaskedshyly.
Didshethinkhewashavingtroublegettinghard?Hegruntedandshovedupfromunderher,pressingagainstherpussytodispelthatnotion.Allshehadtodowasbreathe,andhewasreadytotakeher.
“Justliftupontoyourknees,baby.”Hewaiteduntilshecomplied,thenurgedherdownuntiltheheadofhiscockrestedagainsthersweet,snugopening.“Easedownatapaceyou’recomfortablewith.You’reincontrolfornow.I’mnotgoingtoforceorhurryyou.”
Asmuchasallowingherthatpowermightdraghimtothebrinkofinsanity,sheneededit.Stoneknewthataswellasheknewhisownname.
Lilysenthimagratefulstare,thenslowlybegantolowerherself,easingtheswollenheadofhiscockinsideher.
God,shefeltlikehotsilk.Heglidedthroughthetightclaspofherflesh,inchbymind-blowinginch.Shestartedandstoppedasshebreathed,wincingandreadjusting.Thenshebegancoastingdownagain—andstaredasifherworldbeganandendedwithhim.AfreshboltofthrillzippedthroughStone’sveins.Heclaspedhercloser.Damn,hecouldgetusedtoseeingthatexpressiononhersweetface.Hecouldcometocraveit.
Fornow,hegrittedhisteethandresistedtheurgetoclaspherhipsandshovehiscockhighandhardinsideher.“That’sgood,baby.Keepgoing.”
Shegavehimashakynod,alongwithacrythatsoundedlikeacrossbetweenagaspandawhimper.
“Doesithurt?”
Lilypaused,roseagain,thenwriggledherhips.Agroantorefromhischest.Heneededinsidehersobadly,andnotbeingcompletelysubmergedinhertightclaspwaskillinghim.
Ashebitbackhisprotest,shebeganseatinghiminsideheragain.Holyfuck,thetinglesscreamingunderhisskinandupthelengthofhisdickastoundedhim.Shewasstillinchingherwaydown,andthefeelofhersuperchargedhisbloodstream.Lilywasn’tlikeanythinghe’dexperiencedinhislife.
Asherbodyswallowedupanotherinch,Stoneknewbeyondadoubtthathewouldforeverbeaddictedtoher.Makingherstayandgivehimhisfixwasgoingtobeoneuphillfuckingbattle.Itstartedwithmakingsurehedidn’tspookorhurthernow.
“Doesit?”heurged.“Hurt?”
“No,”shebreathedout,tossingherheadbackasshesankdownabitmore.
Damn,shelookedpretty,evenwiththatdamnblouseblockinghisviewofmostofhertorso.Morethananything,he’dlovetoseeherbodycompletelybaredtohim,allherivoryfleshshimmeringinthesunlight.
Stonegrittedhisteeth.Shewasgoingtomakehimlosehisfuckingmindbeforeshewasdone.Tensionknottedinhisgut.Hisballsfeltasiftheywereabouttoburst.Hehadtoholdhisshittogether…somehow.
“Wanthelp?”
Shemusthaveheardthestraininhisvoice.“I’vegotit.”
Finally,shepusheddownonhiscock,suckingthelastfewinchesinsidehersnug,sultryclasp.Sensationssoaredthroughhimwithaspikeofheat.Sheletoutagroan.Hedidthesame,andtheirsoundsmeldedtogetherasperfectlyastheirbodies.
Stonegrippedherthighs,willinghertomoveherhipsandstrokethembothtoecstasy.“Baby…”
“Yeah,”shepromisedasifsheunderstood,thenraisedherselftohistipbeforeshelowereddowninaslow,torturousslide.
“Shit.”Heblewoutabreathasthetinglesscreamedacrosshisskin.
Everyinstinctinsidehimroaredthatheshouldrollheroverandpoundherdeepuntilshecouldn’trememberherowndamnname,muchlessatragedyshe’dwitnessedyearsago.Stoneknewthatwasn’tpossible,sohecheckedhimselfandlethersetthepace.
Experimentallyandexcruciatingly,Lilywriggledherwayuphisshaft,thenglideddownagain,inflictingmaximumdamagetohisself-control.
“Doesthatfeelokay?”sheaskedhesitantly.
Okay?“Oh,Jesus,baby.You’rekillingme.”
Butforallthetormentofherslowslide,experiencingeverynuanceofeachsensationmadeStonemarvel.Hewasfinallyinsidethiswomanhewantedmorethanhisnextdamnsunrise.Nowhewasfillingherup,knewexactlywhatshefeltlikeclosingaroundhim.Lilywasfinally,trulyhis.Possessionwasnine-tenthsofthelaw,soheintendedtopossessherwellandoften.
Shegavehimahesitantsmileandpickedupthepacejustenoughtodeliveranewleveloftorture.Everyglideofherwallsdraggedoverhiscock,givinghimmorefrictionthanhisunhingedbraincouldhandle.
Whensheleanedforwardanddughernailsintohisshoulders,hershirtgaped,exposingthedelicatemoundsofherbreastsandtheberry-sweetnipplestoppingthem.Andwhatevertrainofthoughthe’dhadfuckingevaporated.
Lilypickedupspeedandsteam,tossingbackherheadandbreathinghard.Sheclampedhimwithherthighsandthewallsofhercunt.Hereachedunderthatblousehewantedtoripawayandclutchedherhips,finallygivingovertotheneedtopullherintoeverystrokeasheshovedupdeeper.Hesurgedfaster,harderinsideher.Lilycriedout,hercheeksflushing,herbodywrithingingracefulabandon.
Withahiss,Stonedecidedtoshoveherclosertoecstasy.
Heworkedonehanddowntotheplumpfleshofhermoundandsettledhisthumboverherclit.Slick,hard,ripe.Fuck,yes
Athistouch,sheturnedfrenzied,thrashingontopofhim,slamminghimdeeperinsideherstrokeafterstroke.Stoneheldonfordearlife.Theneedswelledandjerkedandhackedathisself-control.
Hernailsdugdeeper.Herbreathingturneduneven.Shefixedherstareonhisdigitsashercuntclampeddownandeverystrokebecamelabored.Shelostherrhythmentirely.Hereyesturnedslightlywideandpanicked.“Stone!”
Reliefandprimalneedtookoverasheliftedherbythehipsandslammedherdownonhiscockwhilehearchedup,hittingsomesensitivespotinsideherthathadherkeeningoutinawailingcryofpleasure,spasmingaroundhiminquick,tightpulses.
Withagrowl,hegrittedhisteeth.Heneededtoseeher.Allofher.
Stonedidn’taskpermission,didn’twait,justtoreherblouseopen.Buttonspinged,fabricparted,andheclappedeyesonherflatbelly.Hisbrainregisteredtheunevenskinandslightlysilverstripeslowonherbellywithshock.
Thennothingmattered.TheneedtobeonewithLilyandmarkherashishithard.Hedidn’thavetimetoargue,sohebracedhimselfbyclaspingherwristsinanunyieldinggripandanchoringthemathersidesashesurgedinsideher,oneanimalstrokeafteranotheruntilthedaminsidehimunleashedthetorrentofcataclysmicneed.Thespikeofecstasyhadhimshouting,grippingather,goingdeeperthanever,andcomingasifhehadn’ttakencareofhimselfbarelyanhourago.Hell,asifhehadn’tcomeinmonths.
Therushseemedtogoonforever,andhisbodyjerkeduncontrollablyasheemptiedhimselfutterlyinsideher.Evenafterhisbodyhadceasedshudderingwithpleasure,hecouldn’tgetcontrol,couldn’tregulatehisbreathing.Forgetblowinghermind.Whatthey’djustsharedhadbeenright,meanttobe.Stonefeltthatcertaintyineverycellofhisbody.She’dchangedhisfuckinglife.
Beforehecouldcatchhisbreathandholdherclose,tellherhowmuchsheamazedhimandassureherthatwhathe’dseenonherbellymadenodifferencetohim,shescrambledforthesidesofhertatteredshirtandtuggedthembacktogether,stabbinghimwithanaccusingglareasshewrenchedfree.“Damnyou!”
Stonereachedforheragain,butLilydashedoutofthebedroomandacrossthehall.Thedoorslammed.Heheardthesnickofthelockandherfistpoundingthehardsurfacewithacry.
Hestaredinshock,inregret.Damn.Shehadn’tbeenreadyforhimtoseeallofherandhe’dfuckedup.Notthefirsttime.Itprobablywouldn’tbethelasteither.Thequestionwas,couldherepairthedamagehiscuriosityhaddonetohertrust?Orwouldsheinsisttheyweredone?
***
SHAKING,Lilystartedthetub.Asthewaterheated,shepacedthelittlebathroom.MaybeStonehadn’tseenornoticed.Maybehedidn’tknowwhatthosemarksonherbellymeant.
Whenshemarchedbacktowardthesink,themirroroverheadreflectedherfromheadtohips.Evenatadistance,shecouldseethosesilverypathsupherlowerbellythatneithercocoabutternortimehadtotallyerased.
Outofthecornerofhereyes,shecaughtsightofsteamrisingfromthetub.Shewhirledawayandpluggedupthedrainwithanold-fashionedstopperandheldinashockedsob.
Whyhadhedonethat?
Whatwashethinkingnow?
Whatwouldhesaywhenshehadthecouragetoleavethebathroom?
Lilygrabbedherponytailholderoffthecounterandshovedhertressesupinahaphazardbunaroundhercrown,thensankintothetub,curlingherkneestoherchestandrocking.
Shehadnoideawhattodo.
Behindhertheclickofthelocksounded,followedbythesqueakofthehingesasthedooropened.
Shrieking,shejerkedhergazeoverhershoulder,keepingherkneespressedtoherchest.“Howdidyougetin?Ilockedthatdoor.”
“That’sthedownsideofbeinginvolvedwithanex-con,baby.IstillknowhowtogetintoshitIshouldn’t.I’msorryIupsetyou.Tellmewhat’sgoingon.”
Shesenthimarapidshakeofherhead.“Go.Ineedafewminutestomyself.”
Stonepeeredatherwithnarrowedeyesandperchedhimselfontheedgeofthetub.“Idon’tthinkyoudo.See,whenIgiveyou‘time,’youtendtoburrowbackbehindyourdefensesandthinkyouneedtohandleeverythingyourself.Youconvictyourselfofterrible‘crimes’youhavealmostnofaultin,andcloseyourselfofffromeveryonewhowantstohelpyou.”
“Youdon’tunderstand.That’snot—”
“True?Yeah,itis.Thistime,we’regoingtotrydealingwithyourfeelingsmyway.Head-on.”Helookedasifhehadtoholddownhistemper.“Whendidyouhaveababy?”
Hiswordswerelikeafisttothestomach.Withtheirimpact,herbellybuttonsankbackintoherspine.Hershouldersrolledforward.Shecouldn’tbreathe.“Don’t.”
“Ithoughtwewereinthistogetherandthatyou’dtoldmethetruthabouteverything.”
Thedamntearsthatwouldn’tfallwelledinhereyesagain.“EverythingaboutCanton.Everythingthat’simportanttostoppinghim.”
“I’vebeenasdeepinsideyourheadandbodyasamancango,Lily.Ihavebeenstraightupwithyoueverymomentofeverydaywe’vebeentogether.Ihaveputmylifeonpausetoprotectyou.Doesn’tthat,anywhereinyourhead,entitlemetohearthewholegoddamntruth?”
Witheveryword,hisvolumeincreased.Whenhefinished,hestood,stared,waited.Shewantedtolashoutathisanger,buthemerelylookedhurt.
Lilyshookherhead.Shecouldn’ttalktohimaboutthis.Shecouldn’ttalktoanyone.Sheneverhad.Thepaincuttoodeep.Tellinghimwouldonlycarveanothernotchinhersoul.
Heclenchedhisfists.“I’mfuckinginlovewithyou.Doesthatmeananything?Willyoutrytogivemeachancetohelpyou?”
Hisadmissiononlymadeherachemore.Lilydidn’tknowwhattosay.Stonecouldn’tloveher.Shewasamirageofvintagestyleandshyflirtation.Thegirlunderneathwasdistraughtandmessedupandwouldn’tbegoodforanyone.
“Whateveryou’refeelingwillpass,”shemanagedtochokeout.
Thatonlypissedhimoffmore.Hetookholdofherarms,liftingheroutofthetub.Watersloshedaroundherashedisplaceditwithoneyankofherbody.Shedrippedandgleamed.Butwithsunlightstreamingin,therewasnowayshecouldhidethestretchmarksshootingfromherlowerbelly,endingacoupleofinchesbelowhernavel.Hezeroedinonthem.Hisjawclenched;thenhefusedtheirgazestogether,willinghertounderstand.
“Itfuckingwon’t.Youmighthaveahundredwaystofoolyourself,butIdon’tbotherwiththatshit.Iknowbetter.You’reitforme,andwhatwejustdidinthatbedtogetherprovedit.I’msmitten.Gone.AndIcan’tstanditthatyoudon’ttrustmeenoughwiththetruth.”
Lilygasped.Hewasn’tupsetthatshe’dgivenbirth,justthathebelievedshelackedfaithinhim?“That’snottheproblem.”
“Thentellmewhatis.”
“Talkingaboutwhathappened,it’s…agony.”Sheturnedherfaceaway.God,shereallycouldn’tlookathimandthinkaboutallthelivesshe’ddestroyed.Andshedidn’twanthistobenext.
“Iwanttoknowyou.Iwanttoheareverythingaboutyou.Iknowithurts,butifyoupurgeit,itmightgeteasier.Tellme.”
She’dbeensojudgmentalwhenthey’dfirstmet.Hewasanex-con.Dangerous.Notgoodforher.Sonomatterhowshe’dwantedhim,LilyhadshutStoneout.Nowthatsheknewtheman?She’dneverknownonebetter.Certainlynotherspermdonorofafather.Thorpewasagreatguy…butunyieldingandremote.ShesuspectedthatheonlybentandsmiledforCallie.Axelhadmovedmountainstohelpher.Hecared,buthecouldn’tfakelove—norwouldshewanthimto.He’dbeenagoodmentor.Thoughtheyhadn’tsharedanythingrealordeep,evenheknewthistruth.There’dbeennowaytoavoidit.
Afterallshe’dbeenthroughwithStoneinthepastfewdays,didn’thedeservetoknow,too?
Withasigh,Lilynodded.“Givemeachancetogetdressed,andI’lltellyou.”
“Youdon’tneedtocoverupyourboobstoexplainwhat’sbotheringyou.I’mnaked,too.Let’sdothistogether.”
Shepaused.Hewasright.Whatgoodwouldhidingbehindclothesdo?Hewasn’ttryingtoshieldhimself.Maybehavinganakedbodywhileshebaredhersoulwouldhelpherfinallyfeelasifshe’dreallypurgedthispartofhersadness
Drawinginacalmingbreath,shefocusedonthefacts.Shecouldstartherstorywiththose.“WhenIwasfifteen,thecutestguyinschoolshowedinterestinme.Heplayedfootball.Iwasacheerleader.Wewenttohomecomingtogetherandheldhandsinthehall.Itsoundssoclichénow.Whenwe’dbeendatingafewmonths,hestartedpressuringmetohavesexandtoldmethatifIdidn’t,heknewplentyofgirlswhowould.”
“Hesoundslikeaself-centered,immaturelittlebastard.”
“Completely.ButIcouldn’timaginelosingmyboyfriendbecauseIrefusedto‘proveIlovedhim.’Iwouldbealaughingstock.Girlswouldwhisperaboutmebehindmyback.Besides,I’deventuallyhavesexanyway,soitdidn’tmatterwhoIdiditwithfirst,right?Ilikedhimwellenough.”Sherolledhereyes.“ThesewerethethingsItoldmyself.Iwasyoungandstupid,andmymotherworkedthreejobstotrytofeedmeandmylittlebrother,soshewasn’treallyaroundtogivemeadvice.”
“Soyouhadsexwithhimandyougotpregnant.”
Shenodded.“Ifoundouttwodaysbeforemysixteenthbirthday.He’dplannedtotakemeoutfordinnerandamoviethatnighttocelebrate,likeonarealdate.Iwassoexcited.I’dboughtanewdresswithmoneyIdidn’treallyhave.Itoldmyselfthat,ofcourse,helovedmeandIlovedhim.Butthathomepregnancytestchangedeverything.ThedayIfoundout,Itoldhim.Hedumpedme,calledmestupidforgettingknockedup,andsaidheknewI’dbeenscrewingaroundbehindhisback.Whichwasn’ttrue.”
Stonenodded.“Asshole.Thatwashowheabsolvedhimselfofanyresponsibility.”
“Andhespentthenightofmysixteenthbirthdaywithanothergirl,oneheknewIdidn’tlike.Iheardheknockedherupjustbeforegraduationandtheyeventuallygotmarried.”
“Didhenotknowhowtoputonacondom?”Hescowled.
“Hedidn’tlikethem.Theywere‘unnatural.’Hesworethatifwetimeditrightwithmycycle,Icouldn’tgetpregnant.WhatIdidn’tunderstandwasthatI’dneverhadanormalcycle,soIdidn’tknowwhenImightbeovulating.”Shesighed.“Ididn’tunderstandalotofthings,actually.”
“Youwereakid.Andwithoutparentstoguideyou…”
“Ididn’tknowwhattodo.OnceIfoundoutIwaspregnant,Iknewmymomwouldfreak.IhiditaslongasIcould,butsheeventuallyfigureditout.Shekickedmeoutofthehouse.”
“Atsixteen?”Hegapedasifhecouldscarcelybelievewhatshewassaying.“Youmayhavescrewedup,butshehadaresponsibilitytofinishraisingyou.Wheredidshethinkyouandthebabyweregoingtogo?”
“Shedidn’tcare.I’dbeenaglorifiedbabysitterforalongtimeanyway.Shefavoredmylittlebrother.Bythen,he’dgottenoldenoughtotakecareofhimselfafterschoolandcookhisownmealsifshecouldn’tbethere.Iwasjustanothermouthtofeedandateenageproblemtodealwith.”Lilytriedtoshrugthosefactsoff,butdeepdown,theystillhurtdeeply.
Stonegrittedhisteethandshookhisheadasifhedidn’tunderstandatall.ThatwasabalmtoLily’sheart,especiallywhenhetookherhandsinhisandgentledhisvoice.“Whatdidyoudonext?Whathappenedtothebaby?”
Nowtheconversationgotdifficult.Shetriedtowrapherarmsaroundherself,butStonewasn’thavinganyofthat.Hehuggedhertohischestandpressedakisstoherforehead.Insteadoffeelingintrusive,histouchgaveherstrength.
“IwenttomyfriendErin’shouse.HermomhadgottenpregnantwithErin’solderbrother,Corey,whenshewassixteen.Sheunderstoodandtookmein.ImovedintoErin’sroomwithherandkeptgoingtoschool.Ifoundacountyclinicthatgavemecheapprenatalcare.Iwasworkingpart-timeandplanningtofinishhighschool.Ihadthefuturemappedout.OrsoIthought.Butnothingworkedoutthatway.Erinwaskilled.”
“DidCantonspareyoubecauseyouwerepregnant?”
Shetriedhardtoholdherselftogether.“Ithinkso.Iwasthirty-eightweeksalong.HetoldmeifIsaidawordtothepoliceaboutwhatI’dseen,he’dhuntmedownandcutmybabyfrommybellyandlaughwhilehekilledusboth.”
Morehorrificglimpsesfromthepastbegantobombardher,themostterrifyingtimesandfaces.Imagesthathauntedhertothisday.Thesoundsofrippingfabric,thesmellofblood,eventoomuchmalelaughterstillsometimessetheroff.
“Then?”heprompted.
Sheclenchedherfistsandslammedhereyesshut.Justgetthewordsout.“Thebabywasagirl.ReginaRose.Stillborn.”
Hefroze.“Yourbabywas…dead?”
“Yeah.Thecordwrappedaroundherneck.”Lily’snosetingledasthetearswelledagain.Shetriedtosob,triedtogrieve.Herexpressioncollapsed.Shecouldalmostcry.Almost…butnotquite.
God,whenwouldshebeabletoputherterriblepastbehindherandhaveadecentfuture?
“Inlessthanayear,yougotpregnant,youlostyourboyfriend,yourfamilycastyouout,youwatchedyourbestfriendberapedandmurdered,andthenyourbabydied?”Helookedatherasifitwasawondershe’dsurvived.“Lily?”
Thatwasn’tall,andaslongasshe’dcomethisfar,shemightaswelltellStonetherestofCanton’ssins.“Allthat,yes.AboutaweekafterErinwaskilled,Igavebirthalone.Ileftthehospitalalone.Iwentbacktomymom’shouse,hopingshecouldsparealittleempathyforme.WhenIgotthere,shemadeitclearIwasn’twelcomebycallingthepolice.TheycameandpickedmeupandaskedmequestionsaboutErin’smurder.”
Lessthantwelvehoursafterherdaughter’sdeath,she’dbeeninastationhousebeinginterrogateduntilexhaustionsetin.She’dstillbeenbleeding,hungry,reeling.
Stonegrippedhertighter,holdinghercloser.“Letitout,baby.I’mhere.”
Lilylookeddowntorealizeshewasholdinghimsotightly,herbodywasshaking.“IwasweakandIwantedtheinterrogationover.IwantedjusticeforErin.SoItoldthepoliceIwouldtestify.Theysetmeupinasafehouseandfoundmeadoctor.”Shesobbed—adrysoundwithouttears,agriefwithouthealing.“WhiletheypumpedmyIVfullofantibioticsandfedmesoup,Cantonsenthisgoonsovertomyhousetokillmymotherandlittlebrother.Shehadthemercifuldeath.Theyslitherthroatquickly.Mybrother,theytortured.Hehadoverahundredcutsonhisbody.Hecalled911aftertheyleftandwasabletotellthepolicethat‘oneofErin’sfriends’waslookingforme,butitwastoolateforhim.Hediedanhourlater.Hewastwelve.”
Theguiltofsomanydeathssatonherchestlikeananvil,slowlycrushingher.Shewantedsobadlytomoveonwithherlife,behappy.Everytimesherevisitedthatyear,Lilyrememberedallthereasonsshedidn’tdeservepeaceorjoyandneverwould.
“Oh,Jesus,baby.”Hestrokedhercrownandkissedherforehead.“Idon’tknowhowyougotthroughallthatwithoutcrumbling.”
“Ididcrumble.”Shepulledawayfromhim.“Don’tyougetit?That’swhyIcan’tbenormal.That’swhynoonecanreallyloveme.”
Hetookherfaceinhishands,forcinghertolookintohisdarkeyes.“YouareworthyofloveandIloveyou.Cantontookyourfamily,yourfriends,andyearsofyourlifeaway.Don’tlethimtakeyourheartandsoul,too.”
Lilywantedtoheedhiswordssobadlybut…
“Somanypeoplediedbecauseofme.BecauseIwasstupid.Because—”
Stonedidn’tletherfinishthatsentence.Hecapturedhermouthwithhisownandstoleinside.Itwasn’takissofpassion.Hefilledherwithtendernessandcomfort.Heheldherwithshakinghandsandtoldherwithoutwordsthathewouldn’tlethersufferaloneanymore.
Confusionandyearningwrackedher.Lethimsootheandeaseher?Ortaketheself-punishmentshedeserved?Givethismanalltheloveshecouldmusterinherscarredheart?OrleavehimbecauseCantonwouldfindandkillhim,too?
ShewrenchedawayfromStone,staring,breathinghard,shakingherhead.“I…Idon’tknow—”
“Youdon’thavetoknowrightnow,baby.I’mhere.I’llfixit.I’llwipethisfuckingdirtbagoffthefaceoftheearth.”
Lilysenthimarapidshakeofherheadindenial.“Youcan’t.Youjustgotoutofprison.I’mnotworthyouriskingyourfreedom.”
“Youaretome.Iwouldmovemountainstogiveyouhappinessandpeace.”
“Thendon’tgoafterhim.Icouldn’tstanditifanythinghappenedtoyou.”Herfingersbitintohisshoulders.Hertearscrepteverclosertoherlashline.Onerolleddownhercheek,thennothingmore.“Icouldn’tlivewithmyselfifIlostyou.AfterIleftLosAngeles,Ispentsomanyyearsexistingbutnotbeingimportanttoanyone.Bydesign.Ifnoonecared,noonewouldmournifCantonfoundmeorifIhadtoleaveabruptly.IfIdidn’tinvestmyheartinanyone,thenIwouldn’treallymissanyoneonceIwasgone.”Shehuggedhimclose,tremblingagainsthisbody.“Thencameyou.”
“Fuckthis.”Heheldherinhisarmsandcradledheragainsthischestashedartedacrossthehallwithher.
Lilydidn’tfighthimashelaidheronthebedandtumbleddownafterher,wrappingherinthesheetsthatsmelledlikeStoneandcomfortandthesexthey’dshared.Shegrabbedontightly,neverwantingtolethimgo.
“Baby,youcan’tstayafraidandrunningforever,”hemurmuredinherear
Hespokethetruth,andshedidn’tknowhowtohearit.“Idon’thavemanychoices.HefoundmeinDallas.Thoseflowershadtobefromhim.Thecarbomb…Hewantstofinallysilencemeforever.Thatwouldgivehimaclearpathtobecomegovernor.IfyouletmeleaveandIrun—”
“You’dbealone,anditwilltakehimanywherefromdaystoyearstofindyouagain.Butthatkindofguy?Hewillfindyou.Whynottakeastand?Stay?Fighthimfinally?I’llhelpyou.”
Shestrokedthesteelycurveofhisshoulder.“Iwouldneverwantyouindanger.”
“AndI’dneverleaveyoutofaceitalone.Ifyoudon’twantmetokillthesonofabitch,thenlet’sdothistherightway.Let’scontacttheauthorities.Testify,baby.Puthimbehindbars.Endthisforgood.”
Thatsoundedsowonderfulandnoble…andsounrealistic.“IfIagreetodothat,thepolicecan’tprotectme.”
“ButIcan.JackandSeanandtheEdgingtonbrothers,too.They’rethebest,baby.Governmentshirethemtoprotectanddefend.IcantrackCanton’smovementsviahiscomputerorphone.Theycangiveyouafortressuntilthetrialisover.Wecanmakethiswork.Ifhegoesaway,you’refree.”Hebrushedherhairfromherfaceandthumbedhercheek,makingeverythinginsidehermelt.“Youcanhaveafuturewithme.”
Insomeways,whathesaidmadesense.IfCantonwasbehindbars,hecouldn’tsimplyhopinhiscarorgetonaplaneandhuntherdown.Yeah,heprobablyhadunderlingsmorethanhappytodohisbidding,butifshetestified,ifsheloppedtheheadoffthatsnake,maybeitwoulddie.Theothersinhisorganizationdidn’thaveapersonalbeefwithher.Itwaspossiblethey’dletitgo.
Maybe.
Andmaybeshewasfoolingherself.
Itwasn’tasifshe’dneverconsideredtestifyingbefore.Butshe’dalwaysheldback.LilyhadbeentiedtoachairwhileshewatchedErinlosethefightforherinnocenceandexistence.She’dbeentheonetoidentifyhermother’sandbrother’sbodies.She’dseenfirsthandwhatCantoncoulddo.
ButStonewasright.Whatsortoflifewouldshehaveifshedidn’tdosomethingtoendhisreignofterror?
NotlongafterleavingLosAngeles,she’droamedaround,hitchhiking,lookingforsomeplacethatcouldbehome.OnedarknightinBakersfield,she’dthoughtofsteppingoutinfrontofaspeedingsemi.She’dbeenstandingonthesideofthefreewayatnightinthecold,starvingandwonderingwherehernextmealwouldcomefrom.Itwouldhavebeensoeasytoendthepainwithoneimpact.
Shehadn’tbeenabletoputthatdriverthroughtheguiltandhelltoendherlife.Instead,she’dsteppedbackandmarcheddownthefreeway,eventuallymakingherwayeastthroughVegas,Phoenix,Albuquerque,Amarillo,andeventuallyDallas,whereThorpehadseenherinadiner.She’dsatdowntoaplateofeggsandacupofcoffeeshecouldn’taffordbecauseshehadn’teateninthreedays.Thewaitresshaddisappearedintothekitchen,andshe’dbeenlookingfortheexitwhenThorpehadofferedtopayherbillifhecouldhavetenminutesofhertime.She’dshruggedandfiguredthatnothingterriblecouldhappentoherinpublic.Attheendoftheirchat,he’dofferedherajobandaplacetocrash.Finally,she’dhadasteadyroofandpeoplewhofeltlikefriends.Itwasthemostnormalcyshe’dhadinyears.Butsheneverletanyonesoclosethatshecouldn’tbeartoleave.
UntilStone.
“Afuture?Idon’tknow.IhearyouaboutCantonalwayshangingovermyheadifIdon’tdosomething.But—”
“Youdon’twanttoputanyoneelseindanger.Igetit.Butyoudon’thavetobebravealoneanymore.Thinkaboutit,okay?”
“Iwill.”Sheowedhimthatmuch.Sheowedittoanysortoffuturetheymighthavebecauseshelovedhim,too.Andshedidn’tknowhowshewouldeverlivewithouthimagain.
ChapterTwelve
AFTERtheireventfulmorning,StonewatchedLilycookinsilence.Theyate,thenshelostherselfbytrollingthroughherfavoritepopculturewebsitesandanotherbookshe’dfoundatthecottagebeforesheoptedforanap.Hetuckedherinwithakissandtoldhertorestup.Ifhefeltguttedbyeverythingshe’dadmittedtohimtoday,shemustbefuckingexhausted.
Onceheknewshe’ddriftedoff,herangJack,whopickedupalmostimmediately.“What’sgoingonthere?”
Tons,butnothingJackneededtoknow.“Notmuch.Youhavesomethingtoreport?”
“ItalkedtoThorpeanhourago.Axelisstillsleeping.Seangavehimalittlesomethingtohelpthatalongsohe’dstayoutofyourhairforawhile.Seantoldmetosay‘You’rewelcome.’”
“Iowehimbig.”
“He’sgoingtoheadovertoLily’soldapartmentsoon.Hehastoletthepolicepresenceovertherediedown.Andthepressarecrawlingeverywhere,speculatingaboutthereasonforthecarbomb.I’veheardthemsaythecausewaseverythingfromavengefulex-lovertoal-Qaeda.”
Stonesighed.“ButnothingaboutCanton?”
“Thankfully,no,”Jackassured.
“Stillcan’tfindthebastard?”
“It’sasifhe’sdroppedoffthefaceoftheearth.Idon’tlikeit.”
Stonedidn’teither.Anyonecapableofrapingagirlortorturingalittleboydeservedtobegonefromthefaceoftheearth—andnotonhisownterms.Buthesquashedhishomicidalleanings—fornow—andprayedtheycouldfigureouthowtoendthisnightmareforLily.He’dtentimesrathermeettheguyinadarkalleyanddusthimwithouthavingtoinvolveheratall.Butshewasright;he’dprobablyendupdoingmorehardtime.Scuttlinghisurgeforvigilantejusticesucked,butgoingthroughlegalchannelswastheonlywayhesawforhimtohaveanysortoffuturewithher.Besides,hecouldn’tdenythatgoingbacktoprisonwasthelastfuckingthingheeverwantedtodo.
“KeeplookingandtellmehowIcanhelp.Please,”Stonesaid.“Lilyhasbeenthroughevenmorethanyouknow,man.Sheneedsthisnightmaretobeover.”
“You’reinlovewithher.”
Jackdidn’task,andStonedidn’tbothertodeny.“IthinkIalwayswas.Theselastcoupleofdayshavemadethatreallyfuckingclearforme.Shecomesfirst,period.”
“That’showitis,youknow.Youfindthatperfectwomanandbam.You’ddoorsayanythingtomakeherhappyandkeephersafe.”
Absolutely.Whentheygotoutofthisshit,hewasgoingtocallhisfather,makeupforthepast,thenputaringonLily’sfingerandlivealifesowonderfulshecouldn’tdoanythingexceptbehappy.
Untilthen,hehadtotieupeverysinglelooseend.“Exactly.SowhywasCantonneverarrestedinconnectionwiththemurdersofLily’smomandbrother?”
“Cantonhimselfhadanairtightalibi.Thekiddidn’tlivelongenoughtoIDanyone.Thecrimescenedidn’tproduceanyphysicalevidenceorwitnesses.Ithappenedfast.BasedonwhatIread,I’dbettheytookthefamilybysurpriseandsubduedthemwithinsecondsbecausetheredidn’tappeartobemuchofastruggle.”
“ButthekidmanagedtotellthecopsthathiskillerclaimedtobeoneofErin’sfriendswhowaslookingforLily,right?”
“Sure,buthedidn’tknowtheguy’sname.ThepolicesuspectedthatLilymightknowwhotheassailantwas,buttheynevercouldfindher.She’dalreadyfled.”
Shit.AsmuchasStonedidn’tlikethetruth,itmadesense.“DidyouevertrackdowntherestofErinGutierrez’sfamily?Maybetheycouldshedsomelight.ThegirlhadamomandanolderbrotherwhotookLilyinwhenshewasateenager.TheymusthavebeendevastatedbywhathappenedtoErinandwantedjustice.”
“Ijuststartedlookingforthemyesterday.Here’swhatIknowsofar:ReneeGutierrezleftLosAngeles.ShegotpickedupforDUIinSeattleaboutfouryearsago.Sheskippedbail.I’veheardrumorsshecrossedintoCanada,butthey’reunconfirmed.Coreyfoundhimselfinandoutofjuvieforabit.Someonemadeanattemptonhislife,andtheytransferredhimout.I’mdouble-checkingsomefactsbutIthinkhewoundupenlistingandfoughtinAfghanistan.He’scurrentlylistedasMIA,butI’mtryingtotrackdownthedetails.I’llletyouknow.”
“Thatwouldbegreat.Thanks.Ineedonemorefavor.”Stoneswallowed,tryingtochokedownthelumpofgriefonLily’sbehalfthatcloggedhisthroat.
“What’sthat?”Jackasked.
Stonehatedhavingtoaskanyoneforanythingbuthecouldn’tprotectLilyifhewasfocusedontoomanyotherthingsbesideskeepinghersafe.“CanyoulookforaburialplaceforReginaRoseTaylor?Shewouldhavediedasaninfant.”
Jackdidn’tsayanythingforalongmoment.“Lilydidn’thaveababysister,didshe?”
“No.”
“Fuck,man.I’msosorryforher.Asaparent,Icanonlyimaginewhatthatpoorgirlmusthavegonethrough.”
“She’s…anamazingfighter.Buteverythingthathappeneddamnnearruinedher.I’mdeterminedtogivethatwomansomehappiness.”Andbabies.Theywouldgetmarriedandraisechildrenandlivehappilyeverafter,damnit.“Butthebabydiedasthechildofanindigentsinglemother.Atbest,shegotapauper’sburial,mostlikelycourtesyofLosAngelesCounty.ForLily’ssake,I’dliketogiveReginaRosesomethingmore.”
“Yeah.I’llgetrightonit.”
“Iknowthat’snotyourusualthing.You’dratherknockheadstogetherthanscantheInternet,butI’vegotalotgoingonhere,sothanks.”
“You’rewelcome.WhileI’mdoingthat,youwanttoknowhowyoucanhelp?Wecan’tfindCanton,soyouneedtostoptiptoeingaroundLilyandask,”Jackinsisted.“Point-blankfindoutwhatsheknowsaboutthisguy.”
Stonegrippedthephonetight.He’dratherhuntdowntheviolentshitstainwithoutinvolvingLily.“Whateverinformationshehasaboutthemanandhisrunningbuddiesorhabitsissevenyearsold.”
“Butit’sstillknowledgewedon’thave.Itmaybehelpful.It’scertainlybetterthannothing.”
TheideaofshovingmoreupsetandupheavalonherrightnowbuggedthehelloutofStone.“Damnit…”
“Iknow.Igetit.Sometimes,protectingyourwomanfromthebadguyslurkingoutsideherdoorismucheasierthanshieldingherfromwhat’shurtingherontheinside.”
Stonecouldn’thavesummeduphisconcernsanybetter.
Theyrangoff,andhemulledoverJack’ssuggestion.Theguywasprobablyright.Trackingdowntheenemywouldbesomucheasierwithinsiderinformation.AndasmuchashewantedtoprotectLilyfrommoreemotionalpain,hehadtoprioritizehersafetyfirst.Fuck
DeterminedtoseeifhecouldfindCantonfirst,Stonegrabbedhercomputer.Hewouldhavepreferredhisown.Hehaditallsetupjustthewayhewantedwithsoftwareandtoolsthatherslacked.Herhardshellofapinkcasewiththematchingkeyboardoverlaycertainlydidn’tsay“badass.”ButhefoundabeautifulironyinusingLily’scomputertotrytobringdownhertormentor.
Unfortunately,nothinghetriedpannedout.Theguyhadn’tusedhiscreditcardsinalmostaweek.Hehadn’tflownonacommercialairlineorrentedacar.Hehadn’tevenusedanATM.Nohitonhislicenseplate.Hisphonehadbeenupgradedtoasoftwareversionthatmadeitvirtuallyimpossibletoaccesswithoutthepassword.Anyonethatparanoidwouldhavetakenstepstoensurethatifsomeonetriedtochangehispassword,he’dreceivenotjustane-mailbutatext,too.Stonedidn’twanttotiphishandandsendCantonscamperingintohiding,sothatwasadeadend.
HediscernedCanton’scellphonecarrierandtriedtopingadatabaseoftowersbutonlyreceivedbackasignalthattoldhimthedevicewasturnedoffandhadn’tbeenactiveindays.Morethanlikelyhewasusingburnerphones.Nofuckingwaytotracethose.
Withacurse,hesighedandtriedanothertactic.Cantonhadsocialmediaaccounts,buttheyallmadehimlooklikeafamilymanandahometownherowho’davoidedstreetgangsasakidandputhimselfthroughcollege.Sincegraduatingandopeninghisfirstdrycleaner’s,he’dbeenusinghisbusinessforgoodintheirlower-classneighborhoodandtakinghisownprofitsandtimetoopenteencentersandafter-schoolcareforchildrenwhoseparentshadtoworklong,hardhourstomakeendsmeet.He’dreceivedawardsatthecommunityandstatelevelforstandingagainstviolenceanddrugs.
Stoneshookhishead.Thisguysoundedlikeafuckingsaint.He’dfooledprettymucheveryonearoundhim.CantonwaswilyandknewhowtohiretherightpeopletospinsomegoodPR.He’despeciallysteppeduphisgameinthepasttwelvemonths,probablyaboutthetimehehaddecidedtomakearunatthestate’stopoffice.
Stoneclosedouttheopenwindowsonthosedeadendsandtriedpolicereportsnext.HemadeamentalnotetolettheLAPDknowlaterthattheyreallyneededtoupgradetheircybersecurity.First,heprowledthroughtheire-mailserversandavailableincidentreports.ThepolicehadbeencalledouttoCanton’shomeandbusinessmultipletimes,andhe’dalwaysmanagedtospineverythingtomakehimselfappearlikethevictimofunsavoryelementsintheneighborhoodwhowantedcrimetoflourish.Reportsfrommorethanfiveyearsbackappearedtobearchivedelsewhere,whichmadeStonecurse.ButhedidmanagetocollectalistofCanton’sknownassociates.Unfortunately,runningthemupdidn’tprovetobeanymoreuseful.Justabunchofgarbage,noneofwhichStonebelieved.
Therehadtobesomeavenueorcluehewasmissing.Resolvingthathewouldn’tgiveup,hemadeanothercupofcoffeeandcombedthroughallthedetailsagain.Still,hecameupempty-handed.Asmuchashehatedit,answersprobablylingeredinsomelong-forgottencornerofLily’shead.LikeJackhadsaid,hehadtopersuadehertodredgethemupandgivethemover—thenpickupthepiecesifshefellapart.
***
THATnight,Lilysaidalmostnothing.She’dwithdrawnintoherself,andStonesuspectedshewasstillthinkingaboutwhetherornotshewouldtestify.Apartofhimwantedtositherdownandmakeherseethatmightbeheronlyoptionifshewantedafuture.Anotherpartofhimunderstoodshehadtocometothisdecisiononherown—nomatterhowmuchwaitingandgrittinghisteethhehadtodo.
Untilthen,hehadtofigureoutwhatsheknewaboutCanton.Hehatedtoaddtohermentalburden,buttheywererunningoutofoptions.
Hepushedhisemptyplateawayandturnedtoher.“Ineedtoaskyousomequestions.”
Lilystraightenedinherchair.Hecouldalmostseehergatheringherdefenses,raisingherwalls.“Aboutwhat?”
“Canton.Hishabits.Hisassociates.Wherehemightrunandwhomighthelphim.We’renothavingalotofluck.Whatdoyourememberabouthim?”
“Besideshimbeingaterrible,violentsociopath?”Shesighedasshepondered.“Idon’tknow.”
Stonehatedfeelingasifhewereplowingthroughherpsychewithascrewdriver.“YousaidErinwasgang-raped.WhowaswithCantonthatday?”
“Um…aguyhereferredtoasKillerMo.AnotherhecalledReaperorjustReap.ThelastguyansweredtoMafia.Ididn’tgetrealnames,soIdon’tknowifthat’sevenhelpful.”
Itwasmoreinformationthanthey’dhad.Stonejumpedupfromthetableandretrievedherlaptop,tappingonthekeysandaccessingtheInternetinseconds
“Hey,howdidyougetintomycomputer?”Shefrowned.“Oh,yeah.You’reahacker.”
Slantingheraglancethatsuggestedshegetserious,Stonescoffed.“Baby,Icandothatinablink.”HedugaroundabitmorefortheidentitiesofKillerMo,Reaper,andMafia.Henarrowedhissearch,addingplaces,dates,detailsheknew.Hecamebackwithatrioofsuspectsandpictures.ThenheturnedthescreenaroundtoLily.“Theylookanythingliketheseguys?”
Colorleachedoutofherface.Sheturnedthesameshadeasaslabofcoldmarble.“That’sthem.”
Stonesqueezedherhandbeforeheturnedthecomputerscreenbackinhisdirection.“I’mdoingthistogiveJackandtheotherguyssomeinformation.I’mnotdredgingupthepasttoupsetyou.”
“Iknow.”Lilynodded,tryingtoholdittogether.“Icanstillseetheirfaces.KillerMoandMafiaheldErindownwhile…”Shefellsilent,shakingherheadandholdingupahandasifshecouldn’tsaymore.
“It’sokay.You’vegivenmesomeinformationtoworkwith.”Stoneperformedaslightlydifferentsearch,waitedforresults,hackedbackintotheLAPD,trolledthroughitsdatabase,thenultimatelyscrolledthroughsomecountyandstaterecords.Finally,hefoundwhatheneeded.
“KillerModiedattheripeageoftwentyinadrug-relatedshoot-outaboutsixmonthsafteryouleftLA.Mafiawastwenty-twowhenhewentdownfortwenty-fivetolifeaftertherape-murdersofapairofsisters,fourteenandtwelve,wholiveddownthestreet.Reapergotcaughtdealingjustbeforeheturnedeighteen.HewasputonprobationandhisparentsmovedhimtoIowa.Apparentlyhe’sbeen‘bornagain’sincethenandisnowayouthministeratalocalchurch.”
Lilyabsorbedthatinformationwithathoughtfulnod.“So…noneofthosethugsrunaroundwithCantonanymore?”
“No.FromwhatIcantell,he’sdistancedhimselffromeveryonewho’sgotarecordsohecanlooklikeanupstandingcitizenwithaslightlycheckeredpastwho’srisenabove,blah,blah,blah.He’smarriednowwiththreefancycars,twokids,andapartridgeinapeartree.”Herfacewasn’tgivingawaymuch,andhewasdyingtoknowifshewasallright.“I’llsendallthisinformationtoJacksoheandsomeoftheotherscantrackthesurvivingdudesdown.Doyoufeelbetter,knowingtheywon’tcomebackforyou?”
Sheshrugged.“TheyonlyhelpeddestroyErin.Theydidn’tplanorinstigate.Cantonisstilloutthere.”
“Yeah.”Stonerubbedatthebackofhisneck.“Sincehe’sdroppedoffthegrid,wehavetofindhim.Canyouthinkofanythingelsethatwouldhelpus?Habits?Placesheliked?Peoplehe’dreachoutto?”
“OneofthethingsthatdisturbedmemostafterErin’smurderwasCanton’sdogs.Hehadthesetwopuppies,andhetookthemwithhimeverywhere.Hewasalwayswalkingthem.IrememberErinscreamingandfighting…andthedogsscratchingatthedoorofthewarehousetogetin.AssoonasErinlaybleedingoutanddead,Cantonopenedthedoorandthepuppieslopedin.Hebentandpettedthem,smilingastheylickedhisface,asifhewasthebestguyintheworldandthedeadgirlinthecornermeantnothing.Heprobablystillhasthosedogs.”
Asshetalked,StonesentatextwiththeinformationtoJack,whowrotebackquicklythattheywouldquerythecampgroundsandstateparksagainlookingforaguywithapairofmutts.
“Healsohadthishabit…AccordingtoCorey,whousedtodealforhim,whenCantonwasnervousorexcited,he’dsuckonaTootsiePop.Helikedthegrape.”Sheshrugged.“Hewassuckingononewhenheenteredthewarehousethatday.”
Lilyclosedhereyesasifshedidn’twanttoremembermore.Sheclenchedherfists,fightingtoholdittogether.
Stonethrewhisarmaroundher.“It’salottoremember,Iknow.Everythingyoucanrecallishelpful.I’mhereifyouneedsomeonetoleanon.”
Sheclutchedhim.“Thanks.”
Whenshebrokeaway,Stonetextedtherestoftheinformationshe’dgivenhimtoJack.Itmightnotbealotbuteverybithelped.
“Oh,”sheadded.“Hehasasonbyaformergirlfriend.Matt,Mike,Mark—somethingwithan‘M’Thekid’smomwentbythenameSherra.Theboywouldprobablybeabouteightnow.Butbackintheday,Cantonwasadevoteddaddy.Wentoutofhiswaytobuyhimcoolstuffandgivehimthebestofeverything.Maybehestillseesthekid?”
“That’sgreat,baby.We’lldefinitelyusethatinformationtotrytotrackdownthisasswipe.Ifyouthinkofanythingelse—”
“I’llletyouknow.”Shestood.“IthinkI’dlikeafewminutesonthepatioalone.I’msurethemosquitoeswilleatmeupbutI’mstartingtofindtheswampsurprisinglypeaceful.It’sdefinitelyquiet.Icanthinkouthere.Andnoonewillfindme.”
Aftersheletherselfout,Stonecleaneduptheirsimpledinnerofhamburgersteaksandpotatoes,totallysecurethatshewasn’tgoinganywhere.Sheknewthegatorsandtheoutsideworldweretoodangerousforhertoflee.
TenminuteslaterwhenLilyslippedbackin,gnawingherlip,shelookedamillionmilesaway.No,shelookedasifshewerestillinthatwarehouse,relivingthehorrorofErin’sdeath.Hewishedlikehellhecouldcalmanddiverthermind.He’dtriedtogiveheranear…Ifshetrulytrustedhimandwantedhimasmorethanaprotector,wouldn’tshebetellinghimherthoughts,herfears?Hell,rightnowshewasn’tevenlookingathim.
Asherinsedoffthelastofthedishesandsetthemontheracktodry,hewatchedherasshepacedtheroom,armscrossedprotectivelyoverherbody.Whenshestaredataspotonthefarwallandfrowned,huggingherselftighter,Stonehadseenenough.EvenifLilycouldn’t—ordidn’twantto—shareherfeelingswithhim,shewastoofarupinherhead,buryingherpastandworryingaboutthefuture.
Talkingtothewomanonlywentsofar.Timetotrysomethingnew.Stonesuspectedheknewhowtofixherwhileworkingontheirtrust.
Heturnedoffthefaucetanddriedhishands,thensnaggedherwhenshecrossedtheroomagain.“Getready.”
Sheblinked,herdarkeyesfinallyfocusingonhim.“Forwhat?”
“We’regoingtotheplayroom.Youhavefiveminutes.Comenaked.”
Asheturnedawaytomakepreparations,shegrabbedholdofhisarm.“Stone…I’mnotinagoodplacetonight.”
“You’renot.We’llfixthat.”
“Ican’tfocusonsexnow.”
Ifsheimaginedforoneminutethathecouldn’tredirecthergloomythoughtsintosomethingmorepleasurable,shewassorelyunderestimatinghim.“Whosaidanythingaboutsex?”
Sheflushedaprettyrosyshade.“Well,ifyouwantmenakedinaroomdesignedforsex—”
“Aplayroomisn’talwaysaboutsex.”Hesentherachidingglance.“AfterworkingatDominion,youknowthat.”
Withanod,sheconcededthepoint.“True.Butyou—”
“HavenoideawhatI’mthinking,baby.”Heslantedacommandinggazeherway.“Doyou?”
“Iassumeditwassex,”shemurmured,droppinghergaze.“Sorry.”
Andtherewasherpretty,submissiveside.
Stonecouldn’tcallherwrongprecisely.Hedidwantsex.Withher,healwayswantedit.Buthewascapableofthinkingaboutmore…mostly.
“HaveIgivenyouanyreasonnottotrustme?”
“No,”sheadmitted,hervoiceapproachingawhisper.
Hecrookedafingerunderherchinandliftedhergaze.“I’mnotbringingthisuptomakeyoufeelguilty.Iwanttotalkaboutwhatyou’rethinkingandfeeling.Iwantyoutoopenup.Youdon’thavetodoanythingaboutCantontonight.Youalsodon’thavetodoanythingabouthimwithouthelp.Sodon’tthinkabouthimnow.Fiveminutes.”
Withthatreminder,heleftandheadedtotheplayroom,scoopingupsomeitemshemightneedalongtheway.Atthemoment,hewantedtothankJackandLoganforhislastthreemonthsofBDSMtrainingbecausehehadideasrunningthroughhisheadthathecouldn’twaittotest.
Stonetookafewminutestopreparetheroom.Ashefinished,heglancedatthetimeonhisphone.Lily’sfiveminuteswereup.
Beforehecouldhaulouttohuntherdown,sheappearedintheportal,lookinguncertainandsexyashell.Shehadn’theededhimexactly,butshe’daddedmorekittenishblacklinertohereyes,refreshedhersirenlipstick,thendonnedapairofwhitethigh-highstockingswithlacybandsandapairofchunkyredheels.Shewasn’twearingasinglestitchanywhereelseonherbody.
Oh,holyshit.He’dneverseenawomanlookhotterinhislife.
“You’reontime,”Stoneforcedhimselftopraise.Andeventhoughhedidn’twanttochideher,hecouldn’tletherchoicetorebelpass.“Butyoudidn’tfollowinstructions.Isaidnaked.”
Sheopenedhermouthtoargue,closedit.Thenfrowned.“Youdon’tlikeit?”
“Idobutthatisn’tthepoint.Youdisobeyed,andthatcomeswithconsequences.”Henarrowedhiseyesather,alitanyofallthepossiblereasonsshemighthavedisregardedhisinstructionsflippingthroughhishead.“Didyouhopetodistractmesowewouldn’ttalkaboutyourpastorthefactthatyou’vebeenlettingitstandinthewayofyourfuture?Wouldyourathergivemeyourpussythanyourtruth?”
Lily’sfaceflamedwithaguiltyflush.“I’vetoldyouprettymucheverything.”
Stoneturnedthosewordsoverinhishead.“Exceptwhatyou’rethinkingrightnow.”
“I’mtryingnottothinkaboutanythingbutyou.”
“ButIknowthere’smorerollingthroughyourhead.”Hequirkedabrowather,daringhertodenyit.Shedidn’t.“Eitherkneelhereandfacemeorleavetheroom.Ifyouchoosethelatter,I’llknowyou’renotreadytotrustme.Ifyoustay,I’llwanttotestthatyou’reserious,andIwon’tmakeiteasy.”
“Why?”Shelookedtorn,confused.
“I’vedoneeverythingIknowtoprovethatI’mhereforyouineveryway,yetyoukeepmeontheoutsidelookingin.Ineedtoknowifyou’rewithme.”
Lily’sexpressioncrumpled.Shestoodfrozenforatensemomentbeforeshecrossedtheroomandloweredherselftothematandknelt.“Ionlyputonthestockingstopleaseyou.InevermeanttomakeyoufeelasifIdon’twanttobehereordon’twanttobewithyou.I’mjustsousedtothinkingthroughmyproblemsalone.I’veneverbeenthatgreatatsharinghowIfeeland…Yes,IknowI’mnottheonlypersonhere.I’msorryifI’vebeenselfish.”
Hesoftened.“YouwentthroughsomethingwayharderthanIcanimagine.Youhaven’tworkedthroughyourtraumabecauseyoudon’thaveanyresolution.I’mnotimplyingthatyou’reselfish.I’maskingyoutoworkwithme.Let’sputyourlifebackontracktogether.”
Shebowedherheadanddrewinashudderingbreath.Hecouldpracticallyfeelherthinking.Stoneclenchedhisfist,itchingtolendhissupportbystrokinghercrownandcaressingherjaw.Butshehadtoreachsomeconclusionsalone.
“Youwantmetotestify.”Lilylookedasiftheideaterrifiedher.“Iunderstandwhy.IknowIprobablydon’thaveafutureunlessIdo.Igetthatyouwantmetotalktoyouaboutit.Ijust…Forsevenyears,I’vetriedtodoeverythingmyself.IletAxelunderstandmyfeelingsaslongasIdidn’tinvolvehimtoodeeplyinmypast.Thatwasmyburdentobear.”WhenStonepreparedtolaunchintohisargument,Lilyheldupahandtostophim.“Iknowyouwanttohelp.AndI’mmoretouchedthanyouknow.ButI’dbelyingifIsaidthatchangingmymindandfacingCantonafteralltheseyearsissimple.I’mstillthinkingaboutthis.It’snotaquickdecision.Canwetalkagaintomorrow?”
Tomorrowwasn’tgood.Tomorrow,Axelmightberollingdownthehighwaytogetinthemiddleofthisshitinthenameofprotectinghisformersub.Tomorrowmightbetoolate.
ButStonecouldn’texactlyforcehertomakeadecisionrightnow.Hecouldonlykeepworkingontheirtrustandhopingthattheirfuturewasimportanttoher,too.
“Allright.Wewillbetalkingatfirstlight.Understood?”
“Yes,”shemurmured.
“Thatgivesushourstoplay,baby.”
Hergazesnappedup,meetinghis.Thenasurprisingcoyfemininepowertransformedherexpression.Itwasasifknowingthattonightshedidn’thavetothinkaboutthepastanymoreflippedaswitchinsideher.SuddenlyStoneunderstood.She’dbecomeaproatdeferringthetoughdecisionsaheadbecauseshe’dbeendoingitforyears.
Thatwoulddefinitelystoptomorrow.
Lilysmiledathimandsatbackonherheels,thrustingherbreastsup.“That’sgoodtoknow.Doyouseesomethingyouwant?”
Oh,shewantedtotoywithhim?Stonecouldn’thelparuefulsmileathersensual,playfultone.Heenjoyedthissideofher.Gameon
Hetookastepcloserandanchoredonepalmonherheadsoshehadnowheretolookbuthiszipperandhisthrobbingcockimprisonedbehindit.“Lookstraightahead,rightatme.Whatdoyouthink?”
“You’rehard.”Shealmostsoundedproud.
“Damnstraight.Butyouknowwhat,baby?Whenyoulookatme,Ithinkyouseesomethingyouwant,too.”
Lilylickedherlipsnervously,staringathiscockstrainingagainsthisjeans.“Ido.”
Tohisshock,sheleanedforwardandnuzzledhercheekagainstthefoldcoveringhiszipper,nudginghisbulge.Thecontactwaslikeanelectricboltfiringhisblood.Itshotstraighttohisdick.Crap,thewomanwasdrivinghimoutofhismind.Hehadtotakecontrolofthesituation.
Fightingforasteadyingbreath,Stonesteppedaway.“Standup.”
“Youdidn’tlikethewayItouchedyou?”Shebattedherlashes.
“Ithinkyouknowbetter,”hepointedout.“Andwe’llgetbacktothat,butIhaveanagendatonight.I’mgoingtogiveyouinstructions.You’regoingtocomplywithoutquestion.Ifyouneedclarification,I’llprovideit.Otherwise,Iexpectimmediateobedience.”
Ashistonechanged,sodidherdemeanor,andsheloweredhergaze.“Yes,Stone.”
Evenhervoicesoundedsubmissive,anditdidsomethingtothemaninhim.
Sincedirectconfrontationwasn’tlooseningherup,StonehadchosenaformofcommunicationLilywasfamiliarwith.AccordingtoThorpe,Axelhadusedittomakecompletelydifferentpointswithher,butsheknewthisgamewasserious.Stoneintendedforhertolistenandobey.Whensheslippedintosubmissivemode,shedidn’twanttodisappoint.Rightnow,Stonewouldusewhateverhecouldtomakeherseehewasright.
“Good.Beforewegetstarted,let’scoverafewreminders.What’syoursafeword?”
“Lunar.”
“That’sit.Iwillpushyourboundaries.Butyou’refreetouseyoursafewordifI’mactuallyhurtingyouoryoufeelasifyoucannothandlewhatI’mdoing.Makesense?”
“Yes,Stone.”
“Good.”Hecouldn’tstophimselffromcaressingthecrownofherhead,lettingherknowthathebothheardandappreciatedhercompliance.“HaveIeverdoneanythingtoactuallyhurtorendangeryou?”
“No,Stone.”
“WillI?”Thequestioncameoutautomaticallybecauseheknewtheanswer:never.Buthowhurtwouldshebeifsheheardaboutthedealthefedshadtriedtocuthim?Very.She’dfeelutterlybetrayed.Hewishedhedidn’thavetoacceptittohaveafuturewithher.Butwithtrustsotenuousbetweenthem,ifhetriedtoexplainthesituationtoherrightnow,everybridgehe’dtriedtobuildwithherwouldcrumble.He’dtellhersoon;hehadto.Aftertonight,whenhehopedthey’dbestronger.
ThenStonerealizedLilywasstillsilent.Itonlyreinforcedallhisworriesabouttheirtrust.She’dgivenhimallherotheranswersquickly,almostasifinstincthadprovidedherreplies.Thisoneshethoughtaboutafewmomentslonger.Whileheunderstood,waitingforhertoweighhertrustnearlyrippedhisgutsout.
“Idon’tthinkso.”Sheliftedhergazetohim,herlowerliptrembling.“I’mjustbeinghonest.Remember,I’mslowtotrust.ThisisthefastestI’veeverjust…believedinanyone.”
Onthesurface,itdidn’tseemasifshehadputmuchfaithinhim.Butgivenwhatshe’dbeenthroughandwhatheknewaboutherhabitswithAxel,herealizedshe’dputalotoftrustinhimalready.Heneededtobeworthyofitandbepatient.Shewasstayingwithhiminanunfamiliarplaceshecouldn’teasilyescape.Shesleptinhisarmseverynight,too.Then…therewasthesex.ThorpehadhintedthatAxelhadn’treachedthatpointwithLilyformonths.Evenmore,Stonerealized,she’dtrustedhimwithherwholetragic,terriblestory.She’dsharedshameanddangerandhelplessness.Evennow,shekneltinfrontofhimwithbigeyesthatpleadedwithhimtounderstandthatshewasgivingherbest.
“Iknow,baby.JustlikeI’mtryingtobepatient.Beingapushybastardisinmynature,butI’llkeeptryingtostiflethatsideofmeandbereasonable.”Hecaressedhercheek.“Tobetotallyclear,Iwillneverhurtorendangeryou.Iwantyoutorememberthattonight.”
“A-allright.”Shesoundedworriedbutdidn’targue…yet.
Withasatisfiednod,hepulledouthisphoneandlaunchedtheapptostreamradio,choosingamellowstationthatplayedballads.Hewantedherrelaxed,calm.Whatheplannedwasn’tromanticbutheldgravity.Stoneneededhertofeelit.
“Putyourhandsinfrontofyou,palmsup,shoulderwidthapart.”
Instantly,shecomplied,andhecouldn’tmisstheshudderthatwentthroughher.Yeah,shelikedcomplex,adultSimonSays–typegames.AccordingtoThorpe,sheenjoyedthechallengeandplayedtowin.
Stoneturnedandretrievedapairofcuffs,thenstoppedinfrontofheragain.“I’mputtingtheseonyourwrists.Don’tflinch.Ifthey’retootight,sayso.”
“Yes,Stone,”sherepliedinabreathywhisper.
Withouthesitation,hebuckledtheleathercuffs,onearoundeachwrist,andcheckedtomakesurehecouldstillfitafinger—butnomore—underthewidestrap.
“Turnyourpalmsdown.”
Again,sheobeyed.TheO-ringsontopofthecuffswinkedintheoverheadlight.Stonewhirledaroundtothetablebehindhimandreachedforalongsnaphook.
Heclosedthelittlemetallicdeviceupinhisfist.“Handsbehindyourback.”
Abarehesitationlaterandshecomplied,windingherarmsaroundherandgrabbingthefingersofherlefthandwithherright.“Likethis?”
Withslowstepsintendedtodrumupherheartbeat,Stonecircledbehindher,pretendingtoconsiderwhethertogivehispraise.“That’scorrect.Holdstill.”
“Yes,Stone.”Hervoicesoundedalittlelower,alittlemoreremote,asifshewerebeginningtofeelmoreandthinkless.
Exactlywhathewanted.
Hefastenedthetwo-headedhooktohercuffs,oneendtoeachoftheO-rings.Thenheroundedheragain,staringdownatthewaythepositionthrustherbreastsout.Hewouldn’tbeaheterosexualmanifthatdidn’tgettohim.Buthecouldn’tletherknowthattheverysightofherbeattheshitoutofhisself-control,sohekepthisgroanofappreciationtohimself.
“Doyourshouldershurt?”
“No.”
“Goodtohear.Tellmeaboutthetattooonyourshoulderblade.”
Shedraggedinashudderingbreaththenspokeinthesoftestwhisper.“ThewrenflyingfromitscagesymbolizesReginaleavingthepainofthisearthtobefree.TheroseinitsbeakisbothforhermiddlenameandbecauseIwantedtogiveheratokenofmyloveassheleftme.”
Sosimpleandpoignant.Somethinghotstungthebackofhiseyes.Tears.Shit,bothhergriefandhertributemovedhim.Howamazingthatshe’dchosentohonorthelittlegirl’smemorythisway.“It’sperfect.Nowcloseyoureyes.Youdon’tneedtocontrolanythinghere.I’vegotyou.”
Hewouldremindheragainifthatwouldeaseheralong,butrightnowsheneededtoheartheassuranceandtheauthorityinhisvoice.
Withalittlenod,Lilysnappedhereyesshut.“Yes,Stone.Sorry.”
Hecircledtoherfrontagainandgrazedafingertipoverhercheekbone.“You’reforgiven.”
Andnowitwastimetoputthisgameintooverdrive.
Withafewclicksofabuttononhisphone,heturnedupthemusic.Onbarefeet,hecrossedthefloor,exitingtheplayroom.Hedasheddownthehall,grabbedafewthingsfromthefridge,thenheadedback.
Hesneakedupontheportalandstuckhisheadaroundthecorner,tryingtocatchherpeekingorotherwisegivinghimasignthatshedidn’ttrusthim.ButhefoundLilyexactlyashe’dlefther—headbowed,shouldersback,thelonglineofherspineanenticingviewabovetheheart-shapedasssittingonthosefuck-meredheels.
Suckinginabreath,hegrabbedarefrigeratedcanandshookit,stoppingbeforeheragain.“Openyourmouth,tongueout.”
Lilypressedherlipstogetherforamoment.Thinkingitover?Gatheringhercourage?Beforehecouldbarkatherabouttrustandcompliance,shedidashe’dbidden.Stonestoodbackandstared.
Likeachildstickinghertongueouttocatchtherain,shewaited.Thewayshesatbackonherheels,eyesclosed,awaitinghisnextmove,undidhim.Shewasfightingforthiscomposure,butStonehadnodoubtshediditbecauseshewantedtopleasehim.
Thatrealizationwasheadyshit.
Heflippedoffthetopofthecanandturneditupsidedown,rightoverheroutstretchedtongue.Thenhepushedhisfingeragainsttheredplasticdispenser.Asoftwhooshfilledtheair.Whippedcreampiledonhertongue.
Shemanagedtocurlhertongueupinalittlesmile.
Stonebitbackacurse.Wouldn’theliketoputhiscockrightthere?
“Swallow,”heinstructed.
Hedidn’thavetotellhertwice.Sheclosedhermouthandsucked,smackingherlipswithawideninggrin.
“Tongueoutagain.”
Happily,shecomplied,almostcomicallyeagerformore.
Stonecouldn’ttakehiseyesoffLily,lookingready,breathheld,anticipationrollingoffher.Hernipplespeaked.Herskinlookedsodamnluminousinthelight.Goddamnit,hewantedtofuckallthegamesandmakelovetoher.
Butsheneededtotrusthim.Sheneededtofeelthecomfortofsomethingfamiliarwithhim.Sheneededlevityandjoyinherlife.
Whathewantedrightnowdidn’tmattertwoshits.
Stoneapproachedthebenchwithhisgoodiesagainandsetthewhippedcreamaside.Hegrabbedacoupleofthingsthatmadehimgrin.Hecouldn’twaittoseewhatshemadeofthis.
Hebrokeoffpartofastripofbaconleftoverfrombreakfastandplaceditonhertongue.Shesmelleditbeforeshetasteditandstartedmoaningimpatiently.
“Wait,”hedemanded.
Shewriggledasifshehadantsinherpants…despitethefactthatsheworenopantsatall.
Poppingoffanotherplastictopandliftingthespout,Stonesqueezedthebottle.Ashewatchedhoneycoathertongue,hiscockgotharderbythesecond.“Tasteit,thenswallow.”
Lilydrewhertonguepastherlipsandalmostinstantlystartedmoaning.“Baconandhoney?Youareagenius.Ohmygod…”
Stonegrinned.“WhenIwasakid,mygrandmamadethiscasseroleeveryChristmasmorningwiththosetwoingredients.Itwasalwaysmyfavorite.”
“It’stodiefor.What’snext?”Shesoundedcompletelyeager.
“Notfood.Holdstill.”
Herbreathingstuttered.Awarenesscreptacrossherfaceoncemoreassherememberedtheywereplayingagame.
Hegrabbedthenextitemhe’dsetasidefromthetable,thenapproachedherfrombehind.Thatgorgeousassbracketedbyherredpatentpumpsandalmostinnocentwhitestockingsturnedhimthefuckon.Hebitbackamoanandfocused.
“You’vedonereallywellsofar.KeepyoureyesclosedandrememberI’mheretoprotectandguideyou.”
Sheswallowedasifsheknewheintendedtochallengeherboundaries.“YouknowI’lltry.”
“Nope.IntheimmortalwordsofYoda,‘Doordonot;thereisnotry.’Andyes,IgrewupaStarWarsnerd,sonotalkingsmack.”Stonehopedhisteasingwouldsetheratease.
Lilygavehimashakynod,thenslidhereyesshut.Stonebracedhimselffortheworst,evenashehopedforthebest.
Thenhedroppedtheblindfoldinfrontofherface,settlingitoverhereyes,andwaited.
Shestiffenedandsuckedincalmingbreaths,clearlyfightingherinstincttopanic.Thoughshedidwell,Stonesensedshewaslosingthestruggleandredirectedher.
Hequicklytiedthescarfoff,thenlaidhispalmsonhershouldersandbenttomurmurinherear.“Thisisnodifferentthanhavingyoureyesclosed.Youhaveasafeword,remember?”
“Butwithmyhandsrestrained,Ican’ttaketheblindfoldoff.”
“Ifyouneedtosee,communicatewithme.”
“Blindfoldsmakemepanic.IwasneverabletohandleonewithAxel.”Shesoundedanxious.
Stonegotthefeelingthatsomethingterriblehadoncehappenedtoherwhileshewasblindfolded.Ifthatwasthecase,hewouldtrytoerasethattormentforher,makesomegoodmemoriestocounterthebad.“Wewill,youandI.Juststaywithme.”
Lilyhesitatedforalongmoment.Shetrembledandstruggledforair.Stonewatchedandworriedandwaited.Finally,shenodded.“Okay.”
“I’vegotyou.Nowopenyourmouth.”
Shewasfamiliarwiththisexercise,nowcomfortablegivinghimthisaccess.Quickly,shestuckouthertongue,almostasifshe’ddecidedthatthefastershecomplied,thefasterhe’dremoveherblindfold.
Heunwrappedasquareofchocolatehe’dfoundinthegroceriesJackbroughtandsetitdirectlyonhertastebuds.Itbegantomeltalmostimmediately.Sheinhaled,takinginthescent,andgavehimagroanofdelight.
“Youcaneatit.”Hesmiledatherexcitement.
Stilllickingherlips,shemoaned.“Doyouhavemore?”
“Littleglutton,”heteased.“No.”
Hehadsomethingelsereadyforher,andhewasdyingtoknowhowLilywouldtakeitandifshewouldenjoyit.
“Openyourmouth.Wide,”hedemanded,reachingforthebuttonofhisjeans.
ChapterThirteen
LILY’SheartflippedinherchestatStone’scommand.Whateverhemeanttofeedhernowwouldn’tbewhippedcreamorchocolate.Sheheardthedareinhisvoice.
Gatheringhercourageandfightingtheresidualapprehensionfromherblindfold,shedidashebidandwaited.Shewouldnotcavein.ShewouldnotletanythingCantonhadeversaidordoneruinthismomentforherandStone.Becausewhenthismantouchedher,sheshivered.Whenhecommandedher,ashewasdoingrightnow,sherealizedhowbadlyshewantedtorisetohischallenge.Sheachedtotrusthim,submitwithgrace,andshowhimhowmuchhewasrapidlycomingtomeantoher.
Hetrailedhisfingerfromthemiddleofhertonguetothetip,thenrimmedherlowerlip.Hetastedofsaltandmanandstrength.Lilylikedeverythingabouthim.Thegentlealphawayhehandledher,helpedher,settledher—evenasheexcitedthehelloutofher—waslikeafantasy.Butwhenhetouchedher…she’dneverfeltblisslikeit.
Playfully,shesuckedhisdigitbackinhermouth,wrappingherlipsaroundit,cradlingitwithhertongue,mimickingwhatshewanted.Hesooftentouchedherforherenjoymentandpleasure.Inthatmoment,Lilyyearnedtopleasehiminreturn…
Suddenlyhewithdrewhisfingerandnudgedherlipsapartagain.“Openwide.Wider.”
Asshecomplied,Lilyheardthehissofhiszipperasheloweredit.
Herheartraced.Herinsidesjumpedwithajoltofthrill.Wouldshefinallyhavetheopportunitytoreturnsomeoftheecstasyhe’dgivenher?
“Iwantyoutosuckmycock,Lily.”Hisvoicesoundedgruffandraspyasheloopedahandaroundthebackofherneckandurgedherforward.
Afireflasheddirectlybetweenherlegs.
“Yes,Stone.”Shecouldn’tsaythewordsfastenough.Shecouldn’twaittotakeinhisflavor,savorhistaste,saturatehimwithherneed,takehimtotheedge.Atleastshehopedshecould.“I’veneverdonethisbefore.”
“Never?”
Sheshookherhead,wishingshecouldseehisexpression.Washeintrigued?Weirdedout?Annoyedthatshe’dbeanovice?
Heletgoofherneckandgrippedherchin.“Howisthatpossible?”
Thoughhe’dbarkedthequestion,Lilystilldidn’treallyknowhowhefeltaboutheradmissionandgavehimanuncertainshrug.“Myhighschoolboyfriendwaswaymoreinterestedinstraightintercourse,probablybecausehewasoneofthefirstofhispalstobe‘gettingsome,’Ifoundoutlater.AndAxel…heneverwantedtomakethesexwehadabouthim.HewasalwaystryingtohelpmedealwithmytriggerssoIcouldmoveforward.Youknow,mentally.Ourrelationshipwasn’tromantic.Wewerefriends,butwehadaDom/subdynamic.AndthefirstruleofanyDominant—”
“Istogivethesubwhatsheneeds.”Stoneclearlyunderstood.
Sincehealsodidn’tseemtolikeAxelmuchorwanttotalkabouthimmorethannecessary,Lilycutshortherexplanation.“I’lldomybest.”
Becausesheachedtosatisfyhim.Yes,shefelttheyearningsofasubwho’dbeenstuckonsometrainingtreadmillandneverallowedtogiveintohernaturalinstincttoplease.ButshewanteditmorebecausehewasStoneandshewasquicklyrealizingthatheheldherheart.
“Idon’thaveanydoubtyou’regoingtodrivemeoutofmyever-lovingmind,baby.Tongueout.”
Lilythrustitoutfartherthanbefore,breathingaudibly,shaking.
“That’sgood.Youlooksofuckingprettywaitingformycock.Takeit.”
Hecamecloser,andLilycouldsmellthemuskrisingfrombetweenhislegs.Theachegatheringbetweenherthighsdrewup,tightandsharp.Thenheslidhiserectiondirectlyonhertongue,itsweightforeign,heavy,andintoxicating.Asthesilken-smoothheadglidedoverhertastebuds,shelickedsomethingsalty.Shewantedmoretimetoexplorethat,swipehertongueovertheslitandteasetheridge,buthekepteasingin,inchaftersteelyinch.Thegroanthatcamefromhischestsoundedsomewherebetweentorturedandecstatic.
Foramoment,Lilywasgladshecouldn’tsee.Nowshehadtosimplyletherselfgoandfeel.
“Oh,yeah.That’sit.That’ssofucking…wow.Nowcloseyourlipsarounditandsuckme.”
Shebalancedonherheelsassheleanedclosertotakemoreofhiminsidehermouth.Onceshefeltsteady,shedrewhislengthtowardthebackofherthroatwithawhimperofpleasure.
“That’sit.Oh,damn.Baby…”
Twirlinghertonguearoundhisshaft,shetriedtomapeveryinchofhim,didherbesttotakeallofhimintohermouth,pushingherheaddownandswallowingdeepuntilhepokedthebackofherthroat.Theanimalsoundsofneedhemadearousedher.She’dneverfeltsoalluring,enticing,sofilledwiththisheadybrandoffemininepower.Andshebaskedinit,easeddownfarther,tryingtocloseherlipsaroundhisroot.Instead,shebegantochoke.
“Lily…”Hepulledback.“Iloveyourmouth.God,it’slikeheaven.Butyou’reattemptingpenetrationthatlookslikesomethingoutoftheOralOlympics.You’renotreadyforthat.”
Hemightberight,butthatfrustratedher.Itfeltasifshe’dneverbeenreadyforanything.Peoplealwaysworriedshewasn’tstrongenoughorpreparedenoughorexperiencedenough.Anddamnit,shecouldn’tfixthatwithoutdoingandfeelingandpracticing.
Shegroanedinprotest,lungingforwardtosuckhimbackdeep.Whenshelostherbalance,hecaughther.
“Baby,youcan’t—”
Sheyankedawayandhewithdrewfromherlipswithapop.“Ican.I’mdoingthis.Ineedtogivethistoyou.Don’tstopme.Please…”
Hepausedforasilentmoment,andLilyhadtobelievethathewastryingtofigureherout.Becausehecouldn’tseehereyeswiththeblindfoldcoveringthem,shehadtohopehervoiceconveyedherpassion.
“Yousure?”
“Areyougoingtohurtme?”
“Ofcoursenot.”
“Thenwhat’stheharm?I’mabiggirl.Ishouldbeabletohandlethis.You.Us.Beingtogether.”Shewasnearlyreadytoscream.“Idon’tjustwantmoretogetherness.Ithinkweneedit.”
“You’reright.”Hethrusthishandinherhairanddrewhercloser.“You’regoddamnright.Openforme.Remember,youdon’thavetorushandyoudon’thavetoproveanything.”
Lilylethiswordssinkinashefilledhermouthagainwithhisslick,steelyhardness.Iftherewassuchathingassmilingontheinside,shewasdoingit.Asshesuckedonhisthickstaffandmoaned,Stonegrippedherhairandpulledjustenoughtosoakhersenseswithhismuskandgrufftenderness,tomakeherheadbuzzwithdesire.
Shecurledherlipsaroundhim,lappingathimwithhertongueagain,findingnewspotstotasteanddelightinginthesoundsofhisraggedbreaths,hissesofpleasure,andgutturalgroans.Thelittledivideatthebottomoftheheadtemptedhertongueoverandover.Andeverytimeshelashedatit,heshudderedandpulledherhairtighterbeforehequickenedhispace,shuttlinginandoutofhermouth.
“Baby…Oh,shit.Ican’teventellyouhowamazingthatfeels.Hmm…”
Sheredoubledhereffortstogivehimeveryshredofherearnestneedtoserve,alongwithadeliciouspleasurehewouldn’tforget.
Herampeduphisrhythm,thrustingintohermouthwithlongstrokesthatdemonstratedhisuttercontrolandmastery.Aroundhim,shemoanedandshookherheadtotakemoreofhislengthintohermouth.Shecouldn’tquiteputherfaceagainsthisabdomenbuttheclosershedrewtohisroot,thestrongerhismasculinescentrosetofillhernose.Itintoxicatedhersenseslikeadrug.Shecouldeasilycravethisintimacyallthetimejustforthesheerpleasureofbreathinghimin.
Lilypulledbackashetuggedherawayagain.Sheresisted,butheforcedhertobreaktheirconnection,provingthathewastheDomandhadcommandofboththesituationandher.
“Stop,”hegrowled.
Shepantedhard,wishingshecouldreadhisexpression.Thenitdawnedonherthat,notoncewhileshe’dhadhimsocloseandtastedhisfleshhadshebeenpanickedaboutbeingunabletosee.NotoncehadshereplayedthatharrowingtimeleadinguptoErin’sdeath.
Yes,itwasprobablyweirdtofeelasenseofaccomplishmentfromsuckingaman’scockwhileblindfolded,butengagingin“firsts”andpushingthroughfearsabsolutelymadeherwanttocelebrate.She’dconqueredoneofherhang-upswithStoneandfeltabitmorewholebecauseofit.Whichmadehimevenmoreamazingtoher.
Whenthey’dfirstmet,he’dbeenlikeapowerfulstar,glimmeringsobrightandsohotthatshe’dbeenafraidtotouchhim.Nowheseemedlikeallthatandahundredfeettall.Butshewasn’tafraidaroundhimanymore.
“Ifthat’swhatyouwant,Stone.”
Hewasbreathinghard,too.“Notreally.WouldIlovetostayinthatsilkenmouthandrideituntiltheecstasyturnsmeinsideout?Hell,yeah.ButI’vegototherplans.Tonightisn’tsimplyaboutmegettingoff.”
“Butcan’titbe?”
“Whenourtrustisstronger,whenIknowI’vesatisfiedyoufirst,sure.ButI’vegototherideasatthemoment.”
Withthat,sheheardtherustlingofcloth.Washepullinghispantsup…ortakingthemoff?
Lilydidn’thaveananswertoherquestionwhenStonehelpedhertoherfeetandledheracrosstheroom.Thenheunhookedherwrists.
Slowly,shebroughtherarmstohersidesagain.Theytingledslightlyasbloodrushedbackin.“Areyou…Arewedone?”
Shecouldn’thelpthedisappointmentslashingthroughher.
Stonemassagedhershoulders.“Notunlessyou’regivingmeyoursafeword.”
“No.”Sheshookherheadvigorously.Hernipplesweretightandherclitburnedwithneed.Theonlythingshewantedwasmore.“No.”
“Good.Thenbendover.”
Heguidedherdownandnudgedhertorsooverthepaddeddungeontable.Shetrembledashepressedherbreastsdownintothecool,cushionedsurface.
“Nowraiseyourarms.Laythemaboveyourheadandstaystill.”
Lilyyieldedandliftedherarmsstraightup,drapingthemonthetable.Stonesteppedbehindherandleanedoverherbody,everyinchofhishardframecoveringherashecaressedhiswayupherwaist,overtheexposedsideofherbreast,beforeheveeredtothevulnerableundersideofherarm,eventuallyglidinghiswaydowntoherwrist.
HeclippedtheO-ringtooneofthebondagepointsontheside,nearherhead,renderingthatarmimmobile.
Slowly,carefully,hereachedforherotherwrist,hisfingertipsprowlingupherbodyagain,incitingthekindofshiverthatraisedgoosebumpsandmadehersuckinasharpbreath.Despiteherdizzyingarousal,Lilynearlyresistedashepulledherwristinexorablyclosertothenextbondagepoint.Instead,shebreathedthroughtheanxietyandforcedherselftogiveovertohim.
“That’sbeautiful,baby.Sopliantandperfect.”Stonesteppedbackandmoaned.“Andyoulookamazingstretchedoutforme,allpaleskinandsweetass.”Herubbedonepalmdownherexposedcheek.“It’srighthere,sovulnerableanduntouchedandmine.”
Lilytensedagain.Whatdidhehaveinmind?Notthathewouldhurther.Shebelievednowthathewouldn’t.Butshewascompletelyatwhatevermercyhepossessed—ordidn’t.
“Stone?”Sheneededtohearhisvoice,neededhimtoreassureandgroundher.
“Righthere.Notgoinganywhere.JustcontemplatingthepunishmentIshoulddishoutforyourdisobedience.Istillhaven’trepaidyoufordisregardingmyinstructionsandmakingmycockachewiththosestockingsandshoes.”
Shehadn’tthoughthewasserious.Clearly,she’dbeenwrong.
“Nothingtosayaboutthat?”heurged.
Lily’sthoughtsraced.Shecoulddefendherselforaskwhatpunishmenthehadinmind.ButafterheryearsofworkingatDominionanddealingwithAxel,sheknewbetter.QueryingaDomabouthispunishmentswasapunishableoffenseinitself.AndwhileStonehadn’tbeentoppingforlong,andshewasn’tafraidofwhathewoulddotoher,shewasn’tthesortofbratwhowentoutofherwaytoearn“funishments.”
“No,Stone.”
“Hmm.Goodgirl.”Hemassagedthebackofherneck,hishandengulfingthefragilecolumnandhershouldersbeforeheslowlyslidhispalmdownherspineinasilkenglide.
Lilyshivered.Everycallus,everydragofhisfingertips,alltheheatofhisbodyshecouldfeelinthatonetouch.Shearched,headtossedback,liftingherassandweepingsextohim.Whereverandhoweverhewantedtotouchhernow,sheurgedhimtohurryinsilentsupplication.
Ashereachedthesmallofherback,histouchgrewevensofter,theskateofhisfingertipsslowerdownherflesh.Thenheliftedhishandaway,leavingbehindatrailoftingles.Herbreathingpickedupspeed,thenbecameagaspwhenhereachedbetweenherlegsandcuppedherwetsex.
“Iwantthis.”
“Takeit,”shewhimpered.
“Iwill.”Hepulledhishandaway.“AssoonasIfinishyourpunishment.”
Thatwouldonlydelaywhattheybothreallywanted.“Iknowyou’redisappointed,butIpromiseIwon’tdoitagain.”
Behindher,hefroze,thenbracedapalmatthebaseofherspine.“I’mnotdisappointedinyourappearance.Iwanttobeclearaboutthat.You’reallkindsofsexy,andit’sonlybysheerstrengthofwillthatIhaven’tdecidedtoshrugoffyourdisobedienceandfuckyou.I’mpunishingyouforthreereasons.First,Idon’twantyoutoforgetwho’sincharge.Second,don’tthinkI’mnotpayingattentiontoeverysinglethingyousayanddo,baby.Ialwaysam.Last—andmostimportant—we’regrowingthetrustbetweenus.Afterthis,you’llknowthatifIsayit,Imeanit.Maybethen,ifpushcomestoshoveandCantonfindsus,I’llbeabletodirectyouintheescaperouteIalreadyhaveplannedandyouwillobeywithouthesitationorquestion.Allthatmakesense?”
Theindependentpartofherthathadlivedaloneforyearsandtakencareofherselfthroughthedarkestdaysofherlifewantedtobristle.Herheadtoldherthatmaybesheshould.ButLilycouldn’tdenythat—politicallycorrectornot—hisattentiontoherandhisunyieldingdominancemadeherfeelspecial,caredfor.Loved.
“Yes,Stone.”
“Again,justtobeclear,youaresubmittingtothispunishmentwiththeunderstandingthatI’mdoingthisforourgood,andyouhaveasafewordifitbecomestoomuch?”
Shenodded.“Iam.”
“That’swhatIwantedtohear,baby.”
Beforeshe’devenprocessedthewords,shefelthisbighandthwackherass.Thesurprisingstingburnedintoher.Sheclutchedtheedgeofthetablewithagasp.Thesensationsstartledher,notgood…butnotbad,either.Morelikeashockoftingles,aflurryofheat,alingeringawarenessofherskin.Lilywasn’tsurehowtoprocessallthatatonceandstilltakeinStone’smasculinescentandhislongmoan.Everythingabouthimintoxicatedher.Thesoft,pliantleatherbeneathher,alongwiththesultryheavinessoftheswampair,wrappedherinawarmcocoon.Timeseemedtostop.Rightnow,onlythetwoofthemexisted.
Lilyclosedhereyesandsavoredtheoddpeace.“More,please?”
Atherwhisper,Stonerubbedhispalmacrossherpricklingbacksideandheatseepedunderthetoplayersofherskin,downintoherverymusclesandbones.“Oh,Iwasn’tanywhereneardone.”
Closinghereyes,Lilysmiled.Untilnow,she’dneverbeenafanofspankings.Axelhaddoledoutafewpunishmentsduringtheirtimetogether.Thesadisthe’dbroughtinfromHoustononceortwicehadimmediatelytestedherpainthresholdwithahard-corepaddling.Shehadn’thatedorloveditthen.Butthatactalsohadn’tpossessedanyemotionalcontextforher.Bothofthosemenhadbeentryingtopryheropenordrawoutherpain.Bycontrast,Stonesimplywantedtoalignherwithhim,gettheminsync.Hewantedtoshowheranotherwaytheycouldberightforeachother.
“Good,”shebreathed.
Itprobablysoundedunfeministorbackwardorsomeothernegativethatshewouldconsiderchanginganythingaboutherselftosuitaman.Lilydidn’tseeitthatway.CompromisingalittlesothatStonewouldalsohavewhatheneededmadesense.Weren’trelationshipsgiveandtake?Yes,andhe’dalreadydonesomuchtomakeherfeeladoredashehelpedherhealfromthepast.Thisspankingwasanunspokenoutlineofhisexpectations.Thewayheexplainedit,hewantedhertounderstandhisdesiresbecauseheintendedforthemtohaveatomorrow.AndunlikewithanytwistedabuseorheinousactCantonhadinflictedonErin,Lilycouldmakeeverythingstopbyutteringasingleword
Stoneliftedhishand,andsheheldherbreath,tensing.Herheartpounded.Herskinsprangtolifeassheanticipatedhisimpact.Wherewouldhespankher?Howhard?Howgoodwoulditfeel?
Hedidn’tsmackheragainrightaway.Instead,hecaressedhiswaydownhercool,untouchedcheek,hisfingersslippingbetweenherlegs.Herslicknesscoatedhimasheexploredherallthewayfromherempty,clenchingopeningalreadyachingforhimtothenubofnervesthrobbingformoreofhisglidingfingersandteasingtouches.
“ThisishowIwantyou.”Hisdark,deepvoicefilledherear—andherhead.“Wet.Eager.You’reaching,aren’tyou?”
“Yes,Stone.”
“Hangontothisfeeling,”heinstructedasheslowlyrubbedatherclit,makinghertenseandmoanandquiver.“Rememberhowdeliciousthisis.”
Beforeshecouldaskwhy,hewithdrew;thenhesmackedtheunoffendedcheekofherass.Helitituplikethefirstone,untilitdancedandshimmered,heatingbone-deep.She’dbarelyhadtimetodrinkinthesensationsbeforehediditagain.Thenagain.Andagain.
Healternatedcheeks,smoothingthefireunderherskin,beforesparkinganewblazeinanotherspot.Thearrayofsensationssmarted,bothstunninganddazzlingLily.Theyconfusedherbecauseshewasn’tquitesurehowtofeel.Eachimpacthurt,nodenying.Stonewasn’tholdingback.Andyetthehurtcamewithawarmthshecouldbarelycomprehend.Itspreadwitheveryaudibleimpact.Hetookcarewithher,notstrikingthesameplacetwice,notimpartingmorepunishmentthanshecouldbear.
Lilywasn’tsurehowmuchtimepassedbeforeshedissolvedontothetable.Ifshehadn’tlockedherknees,shemighthavehungfromtherestraintsatherwrists.Herbonesfeltlikesoftenedbutter,hermuscleslikepudding,hermindlikemeltedchocolate.Stonecouldprobablyputherbacktogetherandcreateaconfectionmuchbetterthanshe’dbeenbefore.ThatrealizationallowedLilytodisengagefromherconcernsandsinkintotheexperience.
“Ithinkyoulikethis,baby,”hemurmuredagainstherear.“Besidesaredass,yourskinisflushedthemostbeautifulrosyshadeand”—hepartedherslickfoldswithhisbluntfingersagain—“you’rewetterthanever.IhaveapaddlereadytogobutI’menjoyingthestingingofmyhandeverybitasmuchasyou’reenjoyingthesmartingofyourass.Itfeelsmorelikewe’reinthistogether.”
Becausetheywere.Lilyknewitdowntohercore.Andthefactthathewantedtobewithhereverystepofthewaymadehersighinblissandtrusthimevenmore.
Sherelaxedeverymuscleandlostcountashispalmmadecontactwithherbacksiderepeatedlyuntilthefierysensationsovertookconsciousness,untiltimebledaway,untilallsheknewwasStone,histouch,andtheblossomingfeelingsinherheart.
Lilyhadnoideawhenheliftedhishandfromherthrobbingflesh.Sheonlyknewthathekissedalineupherspine,themosttenderbrushofhislipsworshippingherback,beforehenuzzledherneck.
“Youwithme?”
“Yes,”shemanagedtowhisper.
“Youallright?”
“Feelingalittlefloaty.”
“Notintoomuchpain?”Hesoundedconcerned.
Alittlesmilecreptacrossherface.“Yesandno.Mybuttisonfire.ButI’mgoodwiththat.”
Hechuckledinherearandunlatchedthefirstofhercuffs.“Allright,then.Let’strysomethingelseIthinkyou’lllike.”
Shecouldhaveaskedwhatbutshetrustedhimtoomuchtowastethewords.“Hmm…”
“You’reamazing.”Stoneunlatchedthesecondcuffandcaughtherasherlegsgavewaybeneathher.“Thetrustyou’veshownme…Iknowit’snoteasyforyouandIknowwhy.Thankyouforgivingmeachance.”
Whenheremovedtheblindfoldandliftedherinhisarms,heheldheragainsthischest.Lilycouldbarelyfindthestrengthtoholdherneckupbutshediditsoshecouldlookintohiseyes.Sheachedtostaythere,drownthere,diethere.Ifshedid,she’dbecompletelycontent.
Shesighedandadmittedwhatshe’dbeensuspectingforawhile.“Iloveyou.”
Emotionrippedacrosshisface.Lilysawtheimpactofherwordsinthewayhetightenedhiseyesandfurrowedhisbrow,inthewayhismouthflattenedandthetendonsinhisneckbulgedbeforeheswallowedhard.“Baby,Iloveyou,too.Iknowit’sfast.Iknowmosteveryonewouldthinkwe’recrazy.Buttheyaren’tusandtheycan’tfeelwhatwedo.IsawyouacrossDominionthatfirsttimeandIswear,mentallyIfeltthisclick,likewefittogether.”
Inallhonesty,Lilyhadexperiencedit,too.Theminutethey’dmet,theireyeshadlockedandhe’dspokentoher,ajoltofsomethingshecouldn’tdescribehadrumbledthroughher.Inretrospect,ithadbeenanintuitionthatshe’dfoundhermissinghalf.Ofcourse,ZebhadimpartedStone’spastthen,andlogichadtakenover,convincingherofallthereasonsshemustbeincorrect,soshe’dshutStoneout.
Howmuchdidsheregretthatnow?Howmuchbetterwouldherlifebeifshe’dlistenedtohergutthenandlearnedtotrusthimsooner?
Ashesteppedintothebedroomandlayherdownacrossthemattress,heshuckedeverythinghewore,revealingmilesofbronzed,inkedskin,ridgedmuscle,andathickcockshewantedtotouchandpleasureagain.Thenhegrabbedacondomoutofthedrawer,sheathedhimself,andcrawledontothemattress.
Shewatched,unblinking,unmoving,unconcerned.
Thenhelaydirectlyontopofher.
Theweightofhimflattenedandpinnedherdown.Sheknee-jerked.Coldpaniclacedherveins,obliteratingallthepeaceshe’dbeenfeelingmomentsago.Sheflailed,screaming,shoving,andbuckinginadesperatebidforfreedom.
“Shh.”Hisvoicesoothed,evenashewrappedhisarmsaroundherandlooselyheldher.“It’sme.We’rehugging.Nothingmore.I’mnotthreateningyou.”
Lilyheardthewords.Somewhereinherhead,sheknewhewasright.Sheneededtobemorerational,lessofaheadcase.ButshekeptrememberingErin’sstruggle.Shecouldn’tforgetthatherbestiehadn’tleftthatbedinwhichshe’dfought—andfailed—tostayalive.
Stonebracedhimselfonhiselbowsandcuppedherfaceinhishands.“Lookatme.Right.At.Me.”
Hetuggedonherhairjustenoughtosnagherattention,andLilyblinkedupathim,herwholebodyshiveringdespitehisheat.
“Can’tyougetoffme?I’mscared.Please.”
“Icould,”hemurmured.“Buthowlongareyougoingtoletthisfearlimityou?Us?Arewegoingtospendtherestofourlivesnotbeingascloseastwopeoplecanget?Won’tCantonhavetakenevenmorefromyouthen?Tryforme.Ifit’stoomuch,youhaveasafeword.Otherwise,Iwanttomakelovetoyou,Lily.”
Logicwarredwithinstinct.Hewasright,andsheknewit.Butshehadtofighteveryurgeinherbodynottoscreamthatonewordrollingthroughherhead.
Deepbreaths.YouknowStoneandhowgentlehecanbe.Stopwimpingoutandwomanup.Don’tblamehimforCanton’scrimeanddon’tputtheminthesameleague
Lilydraggedairinthroughhernoseandoutofhermouthuntilherthoughtsstoppedpingingalloverherbrainandherheartbeatapproachedsomethingnormal.Theadrenalineslowlyseepedaway.Sheletgoofthesheetstightlycurledinherfists.
“That’sit.I’mstillontopofyou.Nothingbadhashappened.Nothingbadeverwill,”heswore.
“I-Iknowthatinmyhead.I’mremindingmyselfofthat.”
Hebrushedhairfromherfaceandpressedakisstoherforehead.“We’llconquerthistogether.”
Throughtheresidualpanic,shelookedintohisdarkeyesandwonderedwhereStonehadcomefromandhowhe’dgottensoperfect.“Whyareyousopatientwithme?”
“Becauseyou’reworthit.”
Thismanhadsaidalotofnicethingstoher,butthatunraveledhermost.Shetearedup.Asusual,thedropsdidn’tfall,andLilyoftenthoughtshewouldbenefitfromagoodcry.Butforthemoment,itwasenoughtolookintohiseyesandfeeltotalacceptance.
Hehadnoideathatshedidn’treallydeserveit.“No.”
“Yes,”heinsisted,staringherdownasifhecouldpushthatbeliefintohersoul.“Youare.Whatyouwitnessedwasn’tyourfault,andyoucouldn’thavehelpedErin.Iknowyouthinkyoucouldhaveorshouldhave,butyouhavetocutyourselfslack.Ifanyoneshouldregrettheirpast,it’sme.Ithrewawayanupbringingofupper-middle-classprivilegebecauseIarrogantlythoughtIcouldmakeafewbucksandthelawdidn’tpertaintome.Myparentshadmetakeoutstudentloansandworkpart-timeduringcollegesoI’dlearnthevalueofmoneyandhardworkinschool.IdisappointedthemintheworstwaypossibleandIcannevermendthatfencewithmymom.Ontheotherhand,I’mnotthatpersonanymore.You’renoteither.Putthepastbehindyouandlookforwardwithme.”
Hiswordscalmedandsoothed,liketherhythmicstrokesofhishandthroughherhair.Hebroughtreasonandlight.
Lilyneededthatmorethanshecouldexpress.Andmaybehewasright.
“Iwantto.”
“Thenletmein.”Hepartedherlegswithanudgeofhisthighsandpressedhiserectiontoheropening.“We’lldoittogether.”
Howbadlyshewantedtoreplacethoseatrociousmemorieswithgood.Howmuchshe’dlovetoassociatehavingamanontopofherwitharousalandlove,ratherthanabsoluteterror.
“Together.”Sheliftedherheadandkissedhim,layeringhermouthoverhisandclingingforatimelessmoment.
Hemetherhalfway,welcomingherlipswithacrushofhisown.Itquicklycaughtfire,andsheopenedtoStone,lipspartedasherushedinsidewithaheadymeldingofmouthsthatsoonhadherbreathinghardandsurrendering.
Hebackedaway,switchedangles,dovedeeper,nestlingherintothemattressandnudgingattheverydepthsofhermentalboundaries.Justwhenshethoughtshecouldn’thandlemore,hefoundsomenewwaytorevereherwithhislips.Lilydidn’tfeelthreatenedbuttotallyworshipped.Thegravityofthemomentastoundedher.
Somehowsheknewthatifsheallowedhimtheclosenesshesought,itwouldchangeherforever.
Lilydraggedinadeepbreath,resolvedtojettisonthepast,andgrabbedontoStoneasshepartedherlegswider.Wonderspreadacrosshisfaceasshebentherkneesandfittedhimintothecradleofherthighs.
Hecaressedhiswaydownherbodyuntilhereachedherhipsandheldfirm,rootingaroundforheropening.“That’smybaby.Nowwho’sreadyforanorgasm?”
WhenStonewinkedather,hertensionbroke.Lilysmiled.Thatprobablywasn’tpossible,butshelovedhisenthusiasm.
Thenhebegantoprobeinsideher,everyinchslidingdeeperuntilthetwoofthemseemedtobecomeone.
Ashefilledherup,shegaspedattheslightstingofherfleshstretchingtoaccommodatehim.Hishotbreathfannedacrosshermouthashedrilleddownintoherbody,intohereyes,takinghersexandhersoulatonce.Thetinglesshe’dthoughtwereimpossiblemomentsagoerupted,alongwithashiverthatranthroughherentirebeing.Thisdesirecamefromawholenewplacebecauseitwasn’tjustthatherousedherbody;hemovedherheart.
Lilyglancedathiminwonder.“Kissme.”
“I’dlovethat,”hemurmuredashetookherlipswithhisown,partingthemandplunginginsidewiththesamesolemnitywithwhichhewouldmakeavow.
Hemimickedthesamemovementswithherbody,lightingherupwitheverystroke.Hishardcockscrapedagainsthersensitivenerves,asifhecouldreadher,knewexactlyhowtokindlethedesirenowhummingthroughherblood.
Hisfingersbitintoherhipsashepistoneddeeper,faster.Hegroaned.AndLilyfeltthesoundofhisagonizedneedreverberatethroughherbodyasshereachedforthepeakrightinfrontofher.
Shepressedherfingersintohisshouldersandraisedherkneesaroundhiships,welcominghimevendeeper.Theangleofhisthrusts,theintimacyoftheirbodies,theconnectionoftheface-to-facecontactfeltcompletelynewtoLily.Herboyfriendinhighschoolhadclimbedontopofherandscrewed.Vaguely,sherecalledit.ButwhatStonedidnowwasn’tthatatall.Hepaidattentiontoherbodyandadjustedeverytimeshegaspedortensedorwhimperedformore.Theexperiencewasn’tjustabouthim,thewayithadbeenwithRick.Itwasn’tonlyabouther,either.Thelovemakingtheysharedwasforthemboth.Theyjoinedandmelded.Shecouldalmostfeeltheirbondfusingevenmoretightlytogether.
Afewdaysago,she’dstartedhermorningbybuyingagunbecauseshefeltaloneandunprotected.Nowshe’dcastoffallherbarrierssimplytobewithStonebecauseshefelttreasuredandsurroundedandsafebyhisside.Andsoamazinglyloved.
Hisbreathingrampedup.Hisskinflushedwitheffortassweatgatheredathistemples.Witheverypushinsideher,themusclesofStone’sbodyflexedandworked.Hegavehisallforherpleasure,tobeclosertoherthanever.
Theburnbehindherclitgrewhotter,theneedsharper.Lilythrustupathim,grinding.Hehookedoneofherkneesintothecrookofhiselbowandleanedforwardasheshovedhiswayinsideheroncemore.Withtheheadofhiscock,herubbedaspotthathadherbackarchingandnearlysetherreeling.
“Stone!”Sheneededmore.Neededhimnow.
Lilybitintothefleshypartofhisshoulder,herhipsgyratingandmatchinghisrhythm.Hethrewhisheadbackandletoutagutturalrumbledeepinhischest.Hegrewlonger,gotthicker,pumpedfaster,gavehermore.
“Areyouwithme?”Hebarelymanagedtogetthewordsout.
“Yes,”shewailedastheintensitytorquedbetweenherlegsandtheurgetosurrenderallofherselftohimgrew.
“Together,”hemutteredashepickedupthepacetosomethingunrestrainedandbreakneckthatmadehercatchherbreathandhurtletowardexplosion.
Inthenextbreath,herbodyseizedup.Herheartnearlybeatoutofherchestasbloodpumped,herskinchargedwithlife,andsheflewstraightintoecstasywithaclawingscream.Stone’slongmoanofsatisfactionranginherears,andsheclungtohimasifshe’dneverletgoagain.
ChapterFourteen
WRAPPEDinStone’sarms,Lilyfeltasenseofcontentmentthatshehadn’tfeltin…ever.Livinghandtomouthwithamotherwhohadregardedherasaproblemchildinaneighborhoodwhereviolencehadbeenshruggedoffhadn’tprovidedtheframeworkformanyhappymomentsinlife.Thefewshe’dcherished,thetimeswithErin,hadendedinhorror.HeryearswithAxelhadbeenhelpful,butnotparticularlyjoyful.
ThenStonehadcomealong.
Hereachedheroneverylevel.Fromthebeginning,he’dmadebutterfliesdanceinherstomachandtuggedonherlibido.Butherfeelingshadgonesomuchfurthersofast.Asshelay,herarmsandlegstangledwithhis,heenvelopedherinthecomfortofawarmvelvethugwherenothingcouldtouchhernowexceptthelovetheyshared.
“Afteranorgasmthatshouldhaveshort-circuitedyourbrain,you’rethinkingtoohard,”hemurmuredandkissedthetopofherhead.
Lilylaughed.“AbouthowhappyIam,yes.”Sheplantedherhandsonhischestandstaredintohiseyes.Nothing,noone,existedexceptthetwoofthemrightnow.“It’sallyourfault.”
“I’lltakefullresponsibility.”Hewinked.“Butweshouldsharetheblame,youknow.Ipriedyouopensoyou’dconfideinme,butyoureachedoutinreturn.YouovercameyourfearstotakethelifelineItossedyou.You’vebeensobeautifullyhonest,baby.”
Mostly.Almost…butnotentirely.“I’vebeenluckythatyoucaredenoughtobepatient.Mostmenwouldhavegivenup.Butyou’renotmostmen.”
Shecouldn’thelpbutstare.He’dchangedherlifeinafewshortdays.He’dgivenhereverything.Sheneededtogivehimherall,too.
“Youkeeptalkinglikethat,andmorethanmyegowillbebig.”Hegrinned
“I’mcountingonit.”Shedidn’twanttosquashthelevityofthemomentbutshewantedtogivehimhertotaltruth.“Theblindfoldthingwasmajorforme.Ifyouhadn’tchallengedmeonthat…”
“Well,tomostcouplesafearofblindfoldswouldn’tbeadealbreaker.Butwemightbealittlekinkierthanmost.”
“Itmeantwaymorethanthat.”Heneededtounderstand.“Beingokaywiththeblindfoldwaslifechanging.”Shepaused,gatheredherself.He’dbeendeeplyunderstandingsofar,andshehadtobelievehealwayswouldbe.“I-IwaswearingonejustbeforeeverythingwentsowrongwithErin.”
ThatmadeStonepause,andhesentheradissectingstare.“Isuspectedsomethinglikethatwhentheblindfoldfearfirstcroppedup.Youwanttotellmewhathappened?”
Notreally.ThethoughtmadeLilysick.Butshehadtogetthisoffherchest.Sheneededthemanshelovedtounderstand.“ItoldyouthatafterCoreygotarrested,hetalkedtothepolice,right?Oncehewentfree,Cantonandhisgoonsstartedlookingforhim,andhedisappeared,wenttotallyunderground.MafiaapproachedmeonedayasIwalkedhomefromschoolandtoldmethathewantedtotalktoCorey.ItoldthemIdidn’tknowanything,thatIwasjusthouse-sittingwhilethey’dgoneawayforawhile.HetoldmetolethimknowifIsawCoreybecauseCantonwantedtocallatruce.HesaidCoreywasoneofhisbeststreetdealers,andhehadn’tmeanttoleavehiminjailfortwodays.MafiasaidCantonandCoreyneededtoirontheirshitout.Ididn’treallybelievehimbut…IwantedCoreytobetheonetodecideifhewantedtotalktoCantonornot.Buthewasn’tansweringhisphone.
“Iwaitedawhile.ThenIwalkedtotheabandonedwarehousewhereCoreytoldErintosquatinsideandhide.Canton’sgoonsfollowedandwhenIapproachedthebuilding,theycameupbehindme,blindfoldedme,andshovedmeinside.Afterthedoorsopened,IheardagirlscreamandIknewitwasErin.ItriedtogetfreebutIwastoopregnanttomovefast.Theytrappedherinside.Astheytiedmetoachair,Iheardscuffling.Whentheyrippedtheblindfoldfrommyeyes,theyalreadyhadEringaggedandpinnedtotheblow-upmattressshe’dbeensleepingon.Thenlikeinaperfectlytimedmovie,Cantonwalkedin.HetoldmethatIneededtowatchwhatcamenextsothatIcouldtellCoreythathe’dbroughtthisonhimselfandcouldunderstandtheconsequencesofcrossinghim.”Sheshuddered.“Youknowtherest.”
Stone’sexpressionfilledwithempathyforherpainandloss.“Baby,ifIcouldtakethatachefromyou,Iwould.Iknowyou’veblamedyourself—”
“WhoelsecouldIblame?Iledthemtomybestfriend,whodiedhorrifically.IneverthoughtthatCanton’sgoonswouldfollowme.IwastoobusywonderinghowIwasgoingtoraisemybaby.Hell,Ididn’tevenknowwheremynextmealwascomingfrom.Erin’smomhadtakenmostofthefoodfromthehousewhentheyfled,andIdidn’thavemuchmoney.Iwashungryandstressed.AndIwasn’tfuckingthinkingaboutthefactthatCantonwasn’tthesorttomakeamends.Hejustslitthroatsandtoreapartlives.”
“Shh.”Hestrokedherhairandkissedherforeheadashemurmuredthelow,reassuringsound.“Youdidn’tthinklikeacriminal.That’snotyourfault.Youhadsomuchelseonyourplate.Whydidn’tErin’smomtakeyouwithherintohiding?”
Hereyeswelledupwithtearsbuttheydidn’tfall.“Sheofferedto.Iwantedmyhighschooldiploma.IknewI’dneedittogetabetterjobonceReginawasborn.IstillhadtwoyearsleftbutIhadaplanfortacklingthosewithsomeonlineclassesandbabysittinghelp.I’dprettymuchpassedallmysophomorestuff.Ijusthadtwomoreexams.IfIdidn’ttakethem,Ihadtorepeatthewholeyearagain.”Sheclenchedherhandstogetherandstaredasagonyandmiseryrippedthroughher.“Ineverdidgettotakethem.AndInevergotmydiploma,justaGED.Iwentintohidingthatnight.Lessthantwoweekslater,IleftLAandneverlookedback.”
Stoneblewoutabreath.Thestorywasalottotake,andshewouldn’tblamehimifhedidn’twanttobewithsomeonesonaive,who’dleftnothingbutdeathanddestructionbehindher,evenifunwittingly.
“NowIcanunderstandwhyseeingtheliliesinthefrontseatofyourcarfreakedyouout.ThenoteIassumewasfromCantontellingyoutoburythepast—”
“Yeah,that’snotgoingtohappen.MaybeIshouldbeabiggerpersonbutIwon’tforgivehim.AndIcan’tforgivemyself.”
“Isthatwhyyoudon’tcry?”heasked.
Lilyfroze.He’dnoticed?“ItriedtocryafterErin’sdeathbutIcouldn’t.IweptdrytearsafterReginadied.Ifelttheurgetosobmyfirstnightasahomelessgirl,thefirsttimeIhadtostealtoeat,whenIfinallyleftCalifornia.Butthetearsremainedtrappedinsideme.ItriedtoohardafterthefirsttimeIhadsexwithAxel.Iwantedtofeelbetter,healed.Something.ButIstillfeltbroken.Andempty.IkeephopingthatsomedayI’llfigureouthowtoletitallgo.”
“Youwill.Wewillbecausewe’lldoittogether.Wewilltalkorlaughormakeloveorwhateveryouneed,Lily.Whateverittakes.I’llberightbesideyou.”
“Iknowwhatit’sgoingtotake.”Lilyswallowed.
Therewasnoavoidingtherealityanymorethattheonlywayshe’dhaveafuturewiththismanwasifsheconfrontedthepastinacourtoflaw.Once,she’dbeenabletopretendthatmaybeCantonhadmovedonanddidn’tcareabouthernow.She’dbeencautiousbuthopefulthataslongasshestayedquiet,shewouldn’tmeetthesameterriblefateErinhad.Nowsheknewbetter.Shecouldkeeprunningandneverhaveanythingtolookforwardto.Orshecouldfaceherfears,tellthetruth,andmakehimpayforwhathe’ddone.Makesurehecouldneverhurtanyoneelseagain.
Eventhethoughtoffacingthatmanacrossacourtroomterrifiedher.Herpalmswerealreadysweating.Herheartstartedthumpingfuriously.Aknotofanxietyballedinherstomach.Once,thosesymptomswouldhavebeenenoughtoconvinceherthatshewasn’treadytobeanyone’scrusader.
Butnowshehadsomethingtofightfor,someoneworththerisk.ShehadStone.
“I’lldoit.”Sheclosedhereyes.“I’lltestify.”
Besideher,Stonefroze.Thenhelungedatherandtookherfaceinhishands,scanningherexpression.“Yousure?”
Lilyhesitated,checkingherthinkingagain.Butshecametothesameconclusion.“Yeah.I’mstrongernow.It’stime.Heshouldpayforwhathe’sdone,andI’mtheonlyonewhocanmakethathappen.”
“Exactly.That’sgreat,baby.I’mproudofyou.”
“You’llstaywithme?”Lilyhatedbeingneedybutshealreadyknewshewouldneedhimtogetthroughwhatwassuretobealongandterrifyingordeal.
“Everysecond.I’mhereforyou.”
Shemeltedagainsthim.Stonewouldkeephersafe.“Idon’tknowwhatIeverdidtodeservesomeoneaswonderfulasyou.HowdidIgetsolucky?”Shecaressedhisface,herheartbrimmingwithdevotion.
Shecouldlookatthismanandpourherheartouttohimforever.Hehadchangedeverythingforher.He’dfilledherwhenshefeltempty.He’dunderstoodwhenshefeltconfused.He’dmadeherbelieveshewasagoodpersonwhenshefeltunworthy.Itsoundedcliché,buthecompletedher.
“Youdid,didn’tyou?”Hewinked,thensobered.“It’sgoingtobefine.You’vemadeagooddecision.You’lltestify,thismesswillbeover,andthenwecangetonbeinghappytogether.”
Thatsoundedperfect.“Iloveyou,StoneSutter.”
“Iloveyou,too,baby.Youfeellikesleeping…orareyoureadyforroundtwo?”
Lilybitherlipandsmiledwithhereyes.Shecouldbarelycontainthejoyinsideher.
“Toughdecision.Wow,letmethink.”Shetappedafingertohercheekinmockconsideration.“IthinkI’lltakeroundtwo.”
Withoutprompting,sherolledtoherbackandspreadherlegs,armsopentohim.Blissandeuphoriarolledoverherinarapturousmix,allstirredupwithanundyingloveshewouldalwaysfeelforthisman.
Thenhegrabbedacondom,rolledontopofher,andtookhertoheaven.
***
STONElaysleepingallcurledupwithLily,spooningherwithhisbacktothedoor,asifheintendedtoprotectherwithhisownbodyifCantonoranyonefoundthem.Becausehedid.Nothing—noone—wouldcomebetweenthem.
Abuzzingjoltedhimfromsleep,andheturnedtofindhisphonelitupandvibratingonthenightstand.Jack.
Herolledaway,grabbeditashelandedonthehardwoodandwalkedoutofthebedroom.“Talktome.”
“I’mafraidI’mthebad-newsfairyagain.SeangotintoLily’sapartment.Apparentlyafterthepoliceremovedthecrime-scenetape,thelandlordsentacleaningladytospic-and-spantheplaceup.Whenhehadn’theardfromherinafewhours,helethimselfintotheapartmentandfoundthewomanspreadoutonthebed.She’dbeenrestrained,sexuallyviolated,andstabbedtwenty-fourtimes.Thekillerwrote‘BITCH’inbiglettersonthewallinherblood.”
Gropingforthenearestchair,Stonesankdownatthekitchentable,hiswholebodyshaking.“Fuck.”
“Itgetsworse,man.ThevictimwasthesameageasLily.Sameheight,similarbuild.Sheevenhadbrowneyes.Idon’tthinkit’sacoincidence.I’dbetCantonmistookthiswomanforSweetPeaandendedher.”
Stonedidn’tdisagree.Butmaybethatcouldworktotheiradvantage.“Thiswillsoundterrible,butifCantonthinkshe’swon,maybehe’llgohome.IfyouguyscanpersuadethepolicetotellthepressthatLilywasthevictim—”
“It’stoolate.Theeveningnewsalreadyinterviewedafewwitnesseswholiveinthebuildingandknewthedeadwomanwasn’tLily.”
Ifthepressknew,thensodidCanton.“Damnit.”
“I’mnotdone,”Jackwarned.
“Jesus!Everytimeyouopenyourmouth,youhavenewcraptounloadandIwanttopunchtheshitoutofyou,”Stonesnarledinfrustration.
“I’mjustthemessenger,man.Herearethebiggerissues:Mafiagotshankedinprisontwodaysago.HetangledwithanotherinmateaboutwhoruledtheAryanBrotherhoodintheirhouse.Lookslikehelost.Otherwitnessessaythesetwohadn’thadabeefwitheachotherinyears.Buttheirfightsuddenlymorphedintomurder.”
Stoneclosedhiseyesascolddreadrolledthroughhim.“OrmaybeCantonisemptyinghisclosetofalltheskeletons.Anyonewhocouldopentheirmouthandputhimawayisonhishitlist.SowhataboutReaper?”
“He’smissing.Hiswifereportedthismorningthatshehadn’tseenhiminnearlytwenty-fourhours.Accordingtopolice,shetoldthemthathe’dbeenactingstrangeoverthelastfewweeks,butthenhejustdisappeared.”
“Jack…”Stonegrippedthephone.Hedidn’thavetobeageniustodothemath.“Twodeadbodiesandamissingguyallwithinafewdays?CantoniscomingafterLily.”
“Andcominghard.Inyourshoes,I’dbereachingthesameconclusion.Youhavetoconvincehertogotothefedsnowandtestify.Theycanlockherdownandprotecther.”
Maybe.Butsometimesthatdidn’tworkout.GivenhowfarCantonhadalreadyreached,Stonecouldn’tdenythatthedouchebagwasconnectedandpowerful.Heprobablyknewexactlywhotopayoffsohecouldfindanddustthelastwitnessalivewhocouldkeephimfromthegovernor’schair.
Aplanstartedtoforminhishead.Itwastheleastsmellypileinafieldofshit,butitwouldkeepLilysafe.
“Butfederalprotectionisn’tfoolprooforaguarantee,”Stoneargued.
“It’snot,”Jackagreed.
Stonerolledthethoughtsinhisheadaroundsomemoreandcametooneconclusion.“Youwouldn’ttakethatoption,wouldyou?”
“Asalaw-abidingcitizen,Iwouldtrylikehelltochooseitfirst.ButifIhadtoleavetheprotectionofmywomantosomeonewhocouldbebribednottodothejobright,thenno.IwouldonlyputhersafetyinhandsIcoulddamnwelltrust.Then…well,iftheproblemisn’tgoingtogoaway,Iknowhowtodealwithit.”
Stonedid,too.“Truethat.”
“Ifithelps,ifyoudecidethatyouneedtohandletheproblempersonally,I’lldowhateveryouneedtohelpkeepLilysafe.”
ThatwasexactlywhatStoneneededtohear.“Thanks,man.That’sgoodtoknow.”
“It’swhatfriendsdoforoneanother.”
Stonehadn’treallyhadonehetrustedinyearsandneveroneassolidasJack.
“I’ddothesameforyou.AndasmuchasIdidn’tliketheinfoyouimparted,Iappreciateyoukeepingmeposted.Sorrytobiteyourheadoff.I’llbeintouch.”
Theyrangoff,andStoneheavedagiantsigh.Hehaddecisionstomake—andfast.Butreally,howmuchchoicedidhehave?He’dneverriskLily.Ever.Timetotrydoornumbertwo.
Withashakinghand,hetextedLoganforOne-Mile’sphonenumber.TheyoungerEdgingtonsentitbackwithaquickCanIhelp?Stonerepliedthathewascool.Hopefully,thatgaveLoganplausibledeniabilitysincethemanhadawifeandtwingirlstoconsider.
Assoonasthenumberhe’drequestedappearedinhisdisplay,heclickedthelinkwithanunsteadyfinger.Yeah,thiscouldputhimawayforalongtime.
ButLilyandhersafetywerewaymoreimportantthanhisfreedom.
One-Mileansweredonthefirstring.“Whothefuckisthis?”
“Stone.Loganintroducedusearlierthisweek.”JustbeforeyoufoughtwithCutteraboutthegirlyoubothwant
Hedidn’tthinkremindingPierceofthatincidentwouldbewise.
“Yeah.”Thesnipersoundedonlyslightlylesshostile.“Iremember.”
“Ihaveaquestionforyou,straightup.”
Theguygrowled.“IfthishasanythingtodowithBrea—”
“No.That’sbetweenyou,her,andCutter.Icalledtoaskforhelpwithadirtbagcapableofrapingyounggirlsandtorturingchildren.Hismurderquotientishigh.”
“Isthispersonal?”Nowthesnipersoundedwaymoreinterested.
“Yep.”Heclearedhisthroat.“AndIhavemoney.”
One-Miledidn’tsayanythingforalongtime.“Thecops?”
“It’safederalmatternow.Thisassholehasdisposedofmostofthewitnesses.Ithinkhe’scomingaftertheoneI’mprotectingnext.”
“Andyoucan’thandlehim?”
“Thefedswon’tleavemeheretoprotecthermuchlonger.”
“That’sright,you’retheex-con.”
Stonegrittedhisteeth.“Current.Theywantmetopersuadethiswomantotestify.IfIdo,they’llcommutemysentencebecausethismurderingdoucheisahugefishandsomeonewillgetanicefeatherintheirpoliticalcapiftheycanputhimbehindbars.Butshewon’tbealivelongenoughtotestify.Andhe’llmakeherdeathasuglyashe’smadetherestofherlife.Me?Icouldlivewithgoingbacktothebighouseifthisguygotplantedsixfeetunder.That’sasstraightupasIcanputit.”
“Tobeclear,areyouaskingmetokillhimformoney?”
Stonedidn’thaveahugemoralityproblemwithpermanentlystoppingsomeonewhointendedtocutdownthewomanheloved.ButthetoneofOne-Mile’squestiontoldhimtheanswerbetternotbeyes.Oh,that’sright.Jackandallhisbuddieswereheroes,notkillers.ItmighthavesoundedasifJackwouldberuthlessenoughtoshootCantonbuthewouldn’ttakethecriminalwayout.Noneofthemwould.
That’swhyStoneknewhewouldneverfitin.
“I’maskingifyouwouldassistJackinprotectingheranduseyourskillsifhecomeswithintenfeetofthiswomanonceI’mgone,”Stoneclarified.
One-Mileletoutalongbreath,notsomuchareleaseoftensionasasoundofsatisfaction.“That’sthekindofshitIlike.Youthinkhe’splanningtomakeamovesoon?”
“Anydaynow.He’salreadytried.”
“Keepingmytriggerfingerreadydayandnightwillcostyoutengrandamonth.IgetatengrandbonusifIhaveto‘act’becausethehassleandpaperworkareabitch.Andthat’sthefrienddiscount.”
“Done.”Stonehadsomemoneysaved.He’dspendeverydimetomakesureLilystayedsafe.
“When?I’llhavetotalktothethreestooges—Imean,myesteemedbosses—andcleareverything.”
“IhopeIhaveanotherdayortwobeforethisshitblowsup.Thatgiveyouenoughtimetotakecareofyourbusiness?”
“Plenty.”
“ThenI’llbeintouch.”
One-Milehungupbeforehecouldsayanotherword,andStonestaredatthephone,exhalinganervousbreath.Nowcamethehardestphonecallofall.Hetoyedwiththedevice,tappingitonthetablefromcornertocorner.Oncehedidthis,itcouldn’tbeundone.Hewouldbegivinguphisfutureforanotherfewyears,maybemoredependingonhowmuchhepissedoffthefeds.
Slowlyheroseandmadehiswaydownthehall,towardthebedroom.Lilylaythere,herslendercurvesbarelyconcealedunderthewhitesheetsthey’dtangleduplessthananhourago.He’dwrapherupthereagaintonightandholdherinhisarmsuntilthesunrose.
Tomorrow…hehadnoideaexactlywhatwouldhappenbutheknewhewouldbegone.Andhe’ddoneeverythinghecouldtoensurethatLilywouldbesafe.
Nothingelsemattered.
Backinthekitchen,hepickeduphisphoneagain.Oddly,hishandsnolongershook.
Bankhead,hisFBIhandler,pickeduponthethirdring,soundingslightlygroggy.“Yougotsomethingforme,Sutter?”
“Yeah.”Stonedraggedinadeepbreathandpissedawaywhatwasleftofhisfuture.“I’mout.”
ChapterFifteen
THEnextmorning,thesoundofbootsonthepierinfrontofthecabinbroketheswamp’ssilence.Stone’seyesflewopen.Dawnslantedthroughthebedroomwindow.Lilylaysoundasleep,nakedandwarm,besidehim.
Someoneuninvitedhadcome.
Stonerolledoutofbedandjumpedintohispants,thengrabbedhisphoneandrummagedaroundforLily’sgun.WhothefuckknewwhereheandLilyhadhidden?Jackhadn’tadvisedthathewascomingoutwithmoregroceriesthismorning.CouldCantonpossiblyhavefoundthem?Ifso,thengoddamnit,theyhadamolesomewhereintheinnercircle.Who?Jackwouldneversellhimout.NeitherwouldThorpeorSean.
Maybeyoushouldn’thaveopenedyourmouthtoOne-Mile,fidiot.
Grittinghisteeth,Stonesteppedoutofthebedroomandcreptdownthehall.Thesoundsoffootstepsoutsidegrewlouderastheyapproachedthefrontdoor.Heheardlowconversation,somorethanoneguywaitedoutthere.Shit!
Stonebracedhimselfagainstthewallattheendofthehall.Inthewide-openspaceinside,hecouldn’tfinddecentcoverbetweenthereandthedoor.Judgingfromthesoundoftheboots,itwastoolatetoslipoutthesideentranceandinterceptthemoutfront.Hehopedthatwhoeverhadstagedtheirattackouttheredidn’thavethekeycodetoopenthedoor,butthatprobablywouldn’tstopthemfrombustingitdownorsmashinginawindow.
Thedoorhandlejiggled.Whenitdidn’tgive,whoeverstoodoutsidepoundedonthedoor.
Whatthefuck?Weretheseintruderssocockythattheynolongerbotheredwithstealth?
Heneededbackup—andheneededitfast.
Yankinghisphonefromhispocket,Stonetappedinthesecuritycodewithhisfreethumb,stillgrippingthesemiautomaticsubcompactninemillimeterwithhisotherhand.BeforehecouldevencallJack,amessagefromThorpejumpedoutathim.
Axelwokeinthemiddleofthenightandstarteddrivingyourway.Sorry.Ididn’trealizehewasgoneuntilnow.
Dominion’sownerhadsentthemessagethirty-eightminutesago.SoAxelwasprobablyoneofthemenontheporch.Whohadcomewithhim?
“Sutter,Iknowyou’reinthere.Openthefuckup.”
Yep,thatwasAxel.
Lettingoutabreath,hepocketedthephoneagainbutleftthefirearminhand.ItwasbettertohaveAxelcreepuptohisdoorthanCanton,butnotbymuch.Nodoubt,shitwasgoingtohitthefan—andsplatterbackhard.
AsStonetiptoedcloser,hecalculatedtheoddsthathecouldwakeLilyand,withher,sneakoutthebedroomwindow,thenmaketheirwaybacktohistruckwhileAxelandhisbuddybargedinthefrontofthecabin.Beforehecoulddecidewhetheritwouldwork,Axelsquashedtheidea.
“C’mon,Sutter.Ididn’tcomealone.We’vegottheplacesurrounded.OpenupandletmeseeSweetPea.”
Sonofabitch
Wantingtopoundintheasshole’shead,Stonestompedtothedoorandyankeditopen.“HernameisLily.I’mtakingcareofherfromnowon,andshe’sfine.Whythefuckareyouhere?”
Axelstoodaboutthreeinchestallerandoutweighedhimbythirtypounds.Despitethefactthatthebigguycouldassuredlybeatthepulpoutofalmostanyone,Stonestoodhisground.Thiswashisplan,damnit.Shewashiswoman.
“Isayshe’sokayonceI’veseenandtalkedtoherandI’mconvinced,notbefore.”
Stone’sentirebodyclenchedwithasurgeoffury.“Shedoesn’tbelongtoyouanymore.”
Axelraisedaskepticalbrow.“Andyouthinkshebelongstoyounow?”
“Yeah.”Stonestaredhimdown.“Infact,Idon’tthink.Iknow.”
Theguyscoffed.“You’reaconmanwhohasahard-onforher.Sheisnevergoingtochooseacriminalwitharecord.”
ThatcommentdugunderStone’sskin,mostlybecauseheworriedthatAxelwasultimatelyright.Lilymighttrusthimwithherbodyandshemightlethimgiveherpleasure.Butiftheycouldeverlivethatnormallifehe’dfantasizedaboutjustyesterday,wouldshereallychooseamanwhoseeveryjobapplicationwouldread‘felon’?
Probablynot,butStonerefusedtoletAxeltakeherwithoutafight.“Youdidn’tevenknowherrealname,asshole.Youdidn’tknowallthedetailsaboutherpast.”Youdidn’tgettoblindfoldherormakelovetoherontop
“Shekeptsecretstoprotectme.I’vealwaysknownthat.Idugenoughtobesureshewasallrightbutnotenoughtoinvadeherprivacy.Wherethefuckdoyougetofftryingtokeepmeatarm’slengthfromasubundermyprotection?”
“Youreleasedher,”StoneremindedAxel,whohadconvenientlyforgotten.
Thebigguy’sjawworkedwithanger.“Iwillalwayscareaboutherandherwell-being.Idon’tgiveashitwhethershe’sformallymyresponsibilityornot.Sounlessyou’veslappedacollaronheroranengagementringonherfinger,your‘claim’isn’tmoreimportantthanthenearlythreeyearsIspentwithher,andyoucanfuckoff.”
WhenAxelshoulderedhiswaythroughthefrontdoor,Stonescrambledbackandpointedtheguninhisface.“No.Youwillnotupsether.Youdon’tgettohurtheranymore.”
“Whatdoesthatmean?EverythingIeverdidforMisty—Lily—Ididtohelpher.”
“Youmadeherfeellikeascienceexperiment,likeabrokenfragmentofawoman.Sheneededlove,nottraining.SheneededafriendmorethanaDom.”
“Fuckyou,”Axelspatback.“Ilovethatgirl.Maybenotromantically,butI’vealwayslovedher.She’soneofmybestfriends.Iheldherwhensheseemeddown.Ilistenedwhenshefeltlikeopeningup.Igavehervanillasexwhenshewantedtofeel‘normal.’Icouldn’tforcemyselftobeinlovewithherbutItriedtoanticipateherneedsandprovideherwithwhateverIcouldtohelpherfeelwhole.Whothehellareyoutojudgemeforit?”
“BecauseshewasstillbrokenandbottledupwhenItookheraway.She—”
“Yeah,that’ssomethingelseIwanttotalktoyouabout.Youtookher—abductedher—withoutconsultingThorpeorSeanor—”
“Oh,excusethehelloutofmefordecidingtogetherawayfromthecarbombratherthanstopandaskeveryone’spermissionlikesomepansyass.IthinkCantonwaswatchingherthatday.Thatmoment.IfIhadn’ttossedherinthecar,Ireallydon’tknowwhatwouldhavehappened.Iftheguycouldseeher,didhehaveahigh-poweredscopezeroedinonhertoo,incasetheexplosionfailed?Ididn’tknow,andIdidn’thangaroundtofindout.Besides,Lilyisn’tawiltingflower.Shepulledagunonme.”
ThatmadeAxelgrinwithpride.“Ineversaidshewasweak.Isaidyoudidn’thavepermissiontotakeoffwithher.Ifyouhadn’tsavedherass,Iwouldhaveyoudrummeduponkidnapping—”
“Whydoyouhateme?Ithoughtyouwerehappywithyourfiancée.”Stone’seyesnarrowed.“Butyousoundlikeajealousprick.”
Axelrearedback.“Fuck,no.”
“He’sanoverprotectiveolderbrother—andawankeratthat,”saidanotherguywhowalkedaroundthecornerandenteredthecabin,thenstuckouthishand.HelookedtobeafewyearsolderthanAxel.HesoundedveryBritish.“Heath.”
Yeah,Stonerememberedseeingtheguy’sfacethenighthe’dfirstmetLily.Atleasthesoundedmorereasonable.
“Stone.”Heshooktheman’shand.
“TrustmewhenItellyouthatAxelandMysteryarequitehappy.EverytimeIstaynearthem,Iinevitablyhearpreciselyhowhappytheyarefromthenextroom.Hemakessureofit.I’mabitsurprisedhedoesn’tsimplypissonher.”
AxelturnedtoHeathwithascowl.“Don’tmakemeregretbringingyoualong.Youwantedsomethingtodo?HelpmegetSweetPeaawayfromthisdudeandoutofhere.”
***
AWAKENEDbyshouting,LilyrolledovertofindStonegone.Hissideofthebedwasstillslightlywarm.Shefrowned,bleary-eyed.He’dkeptherawakehalfthenightmakinglovetoheroverandover.He’dneverletherfarfromhisside,alwayswantingtotouchhersomewhere,insomeway.He’dmeltedtherestofherdefenseslastnight.Butnowshewaswishingshe’dgottenmoresleepbecauseshecouldn’trememberifStonehadbeenexpectingcompany,norcouldshethinkofanyonewhowouldwanttoshoutathim.
Thedecibellevelofthevoicesoutsidethesolidbedroomdoorincreasedbutshecouldn’tmakeoutthewords.Lilyfrowned.
Whatifsomeonehadcometothreatenthem?Whatifthatsomeonewasdangerous?
WhatifTimothyCantonhadfoundthem?
Thelastvestigesofhersleepinessfellaway.Sheshovedtheblanketsoff,easedtothefloor,andtiptoedacrosstheroom.Theoldcottagehadbeautifuloriginalhardwoodfloors,buttheycreaked.Doingherbesttoignorethesqueakyfloorboards,shecreptclosertothedoor.Aquicksearchrevealedthathergunwasgone,andshealreadyknewthatnothinginthebedroomwouldmakeaneffectiveweapon.
Instead,shepaused,tryingtodetectthethreatlevel,andpressedhereartothedoor.Thatvoice,theloudone,soundedlikeAxel’s.Shockpingedher.Wasn’theinLondonwithMystery?
Withafrown,shedonnedapairofyogapantsandanoldoversizeT-shirt,theneasedthedooropen.Notthatanyonecouldpossiblyheartheslightsqueakofthedoorovertheirshouting.Thenavaguelyfamiliarvoicereachedherears,thisoneBritish.Heath?HadhecomefromtheUKwithAxel?Whattheheckwashappening?
“…helpmegetSweetPeaawayfromthisdudeandoutofhere.”Axel?Lilyfrowned.WhowashetalkingtoandwhydidhethinksheneededtoleaveStone?
“Don’tbeafuckwit.Helovesher.”ThatvoicebelongedtoHeath.
“Idon’tbelievethatforasecond.”Yes,thatwasAxel.WhenhadthetwomenflowntotheStates?Andwhydidhesoundsopissedoff?
“Thenyou’reanidiot.”LilysmiledatStone’svoice.Hesoundedhonestandabitsnarky,butsheheardthetendernessunderitall.Maybethatmadehersappyandlovesick,butthatmandiditforher.“Yousetmeupwiththatfirstmeeting—”
“Becauseyouextorteditfromme.IfIhadn’tneededthatinformation,Iwouldnever—”
“ButyouusedmetogetitbecauseyouwantedtofindMystery,”Stonecutin.
Lilywasshocked.That’swhyAxelhadallowedthemtomeet?Sohecouldpursueanotherwoman?Shetriednottofeelhurt…andshemostlysucceeded.Butshedidfeelabitsecond-class.
“AndyouknewIwashottomeetLily.”SheheardtheaccusationinStone’stone,asifhewasangrywithAxelforusinghisdesireagainsthim.Itwarmedherheartalittle.“Soarewegoingtostandhereandargueaboutwhat’sbestforher?Ordoyouwanttohelpmeprotecther?”
Okay,thatwarmedherheartevenmore.Stonewantedher.Healwayshad.AndhewaswillingtomendfenceswithAxelforhersake.
“Iwon’targueaboutwhat’sbestforherbecauseIalreadyknow,”Axelshotback.
“Bullshit.”
Andnowthetwoofthemweregoingtomakethisapissingmatch?Shestartedtoexitthebedroom,shakingherhead.ThenAxelscoffedandspokeagain.
“Youthinkyouknowherbutyouonlyknowtheinformationyou’vemanagedtowormoutofher.Iknowthatwomandeepdown,allthewaytohersoul.Iknowhowshethinks.Iknowwhatsheenjoysdoinginhersparetime.Iknowherquirkyhabits.AndIknowhowshe’sgoingtoreactwhenshefindsoutyouschemedtoromancehersoyoucouldexchangehertestimonyforyourfreedom.”
AtAxel’saccusation,Lilyfroze.Achillspreadthroughherblood.Stonehadmadeadealtogetoutofprisonifhepersuadedhertotestify?Wasthattrue?Couldhehaveliedthatterribly?
Shepushedoutofthebedroomandstoodinthehallway,hergazefindingStone.Hezippedaroundandstaredback.SheknewherfacemustbebegginghimtodefendhimselfandrefuteAxel,torewritethatinsidiousversionofeventswithsomeotherstory.Instead,Stonewinced.
Lily’sstomachdroppedtoherkneesandsheclutchedherself,fightingtheurgetothrowup.“IsAxeltellingthetruth?”
Theothermenswiveledinherdirection.
Heathrolledhiseyes.“Andnowyou’veunleashedthekraken.”
“Baby…”Stonetuckedthegunintothesmallofhisback,thentookhesitantstepsinherdirection,clearlyuncertainofhiswelcome.
“Don’t‘baby’me.Iwantanswers.”
Stonecursedunderhisbreath.Aguiltyflushranuphisface.Ahundredalarmbellspealedinsideherhead.
Axelstartedplowingacrosstheroominherdirection,lookinggrimanddeterminedandfurious.“Everywordistrue.”
Shetookastepbackandheldupherhandstowardbothmenoff,hergazebouncingbackandforthbetweenthem.“Stopthere.”
Theyhalted,glancedateachothertoensureeachintendedtohonorherrequest,thenturnedtheirgazesbacktoher.
“It’snotwhatyouthink.”Stonesentheranimploringexpression.
Hewasn’tdenyingAxel’sclaim.Hewasn’tinsistingonhisinnocence.
Stonewasguiltyashell.Thatrealizationhitherlikeaphysicalpang.
“Don’tlethimtellyouanymorelies,”Axelreasoned.“Hesoughtyououtbecausethefedsofferedhimachancetocommutehissentence.AllhehadtodowasgetyoutoagreetotestifyagainstCantonbeforetheduderunsforgovernor.”
Lilyhadalreadypiecedthattogetherbutwhensheheardthewords,theystabbedherintheheart.Theymadehercurlherarmsaroundherselfandwanttofalltoherkneesinagony.
Stonehadn’tlovedher;he’dusedher.Everythingbetweenthemhadbeenalie.
“Howdidyoufindout?”sheasked,hopingthatAxelhadgottenitwrongormisunderstoodorsomehowtwistedthefacts.
Butinherheart,shealreadyknewthatwasn’tthecase.
“Thorpe.Heknew.Seanknew.Jack,Logan,Hunter—theyallknew.”Axelgrittedhisteeth.“Hell,theyallhelpedhimprepareforthisconjob.AndnoonetoldmebecausetheyknewI’dobjectlikehell.You’renotapawn,goddamnit.”
Sonearlyeveryoneinherlifehadbetrayedher?Nearlyeveryoneshe’devertrustedhadplayedapartinmanipulatinghertotestifyandhadn’tcaredifStonebrokeherheartorCantonendedherlife?Why?
“Isthisalltrue?Iwanttohearitfromyou.”SheturnedtoStone,feelingasifshewerebreakingapartinside.Hercomposurewascrackingwitheverylaboredbreath.Herchesthurtmorewitheachsecond.Thesilencewasterrible.
“ThefedsofferedmethisdealafterI’dbegunworkingforJackbecauseCantonhadnoreasontoassociatemewithyou,andifhemanagedtosomehowconnectthedotsandwantedtotakeoutathreattohisorganization,I’dbeexpendable.Noonecaresifaconvictdiesand—”
“Answerthequestion!Didyouseducemewithallyourbullshittendernessandliessoyoucouldgetoutofprison?”Shemanagedtoshoutthequestion,butshehadnoideawheretheenergyhadcomefrom.Shereallywantedtocurlupintoaballandrockbackandforthwhiletryingtounderstandwhyeveryonesheloved,especiallyStone,hadsocompletelybetrayedher.
Maybethiswaskarmarepayingherforwhatshe’ddonetoErin.
Stoneopenedhismouth,likeheintendedtosaysomething,buthedidn’tspeak.Worrycrossedhisface.Thenregret.
Lilyfeltasifherworldtilted,threwheroffbalance,thendroppedoutfrombeneathher.Shewasinfreefall,herstomachsicklytenseandunsettled.Painlancedthrougheveryvein.Herheartfeltreadytoexplode.
Ohgod.“Soit’strue.Ishouldn’tbesurprised.You’reanobodyandIdon’tdeservelove.Ofcourseyouknowallthereasonswhy.”
“Baby…”Stonestartedtowardher.“Icareaboutyou,notthedeal.”
God,howstupiddidhethinkshewas?
“Don’ttouchme,”Lilyhissed.“Youmustreallyhavebeenfist-pumpingandmentallyhigh-fivingyourselfwhenIsaidlastnightthatIwouldtestify.”Sheshookherheadinself-loathingatherownidiocy.“Youweredamngood.Ididn’tjustreluctantlyagree,no.Ivolunteered.Socunningandclever,I’llgiveyouthat.Youmentionedit,pointedoutallthereasonsitmadesense,thenletmestewontheideawhileyoupliedmybodyandunhingedmymindwithpleasure.You’reabrilliantman.IwishI’dlistenedtomylogicinthefirstplaceandstayedawayfromyou.”
“Baby,Iturnedthedealdownlastnight,”heswore.
Stonelookedsoearnest.Thenagain,hemustbeonehellofanactorifhecouldsleepwithhertoearnhisfreedom.
He’dbeenlyingtoherfromthestart.Whyshouldshejustbelievehim?“Soyoucanprovethattomerightnow?”
“Notthisinstant.IcalledmyFBIcontact,BobBankhead,andIexpecthe’llcomeafter—”
“Ifyoucan’tproveit,Idon’tbelieveit.”
“Letmecallhim.”Hepattedhispockets.Findingthemempty,helookedaroundtheroomforhiscell.“Icanproveitifyouletmecallhimagain.”
“Youknowwhat?Forgetit.Idon’tbelieveanythingyousayanymore.”
Axelreachedout,comingtowardheragain,hisbigfacefullofempathy.No,pity.“Comehere.I’vegotyou.”
StonewhirledonAxel,blockingherformermentor’sprogresswithhisownbody.“Stoptryingtocomebetweenus,youmeddlingprick.Leaveheralone.”
“Oh,Ihaveafeelingshe’dtentimesrathercomewithmenowthanbeanywherenearyou.”
Lilystared,dry-eyedandstunned.Herentireworldwasfallingapart,andtheyweresnipingateachother?
“I’mnotathingorapossession.Oratrophy,”shehurledatthem.“I’mawomanwithaheartthatusedtobeat.”Shepressedafisttoherchest.“Andnow…”
“SweetPea,”Axelcalledsoftly.
Lilyshookherhead.Shewasn’tthatwomananymore.“Whydidyoucomehere?”
“BecauseIworriedaboutyouafterThorpetoldmesomeonehadriggedyourcarwithabomb.AssoonasIfoundoutyouwerehunkereddownwithaconvictyoubarelyknowandIheardabouthisscheme,Icametorescueyou.”
“Why?Youagreedtointroduceusinthefirstplace.Oh,butyouonlydidthatsoyoucouldgettogetherwithMystery.Iwasagoodbargainingchip,butyoudidn’tcareenoughtotellmethatyouweren’tactuallysanctioningStoneforme.Andnowyou’regoingtothrowhimunderthebusforusingme,too.”
Axelflushed,andLilycouldn’tthinkofatimeshe’dactuallyseenhimrattled.“Itwasn’tlikethat.IneversaidStonewasgoodforyou.IintendedtostayaroundthatnightStonecametomeetyou,butMysteryranofffromDominionand—”
“Youleftmetohim.ButsuddenlyImatternow?”Shecockedafistonherhip,disillusionwipingawayeverythingexcepttheworstpainandaresolutiontoshovethembothfromherlife.
“Thorpetoldmeyou’drefusedtoseehimallsummer.Ididn’tthink—”
“Aboutme?Youdidn’t.Inmybook,you’reguiltyofthesamesinasStone.Gobacktoyourfiancée,Axel.Leavemebe.”
“IleftZebtomonitoryouthatnightbecauseIknewhewouldbustStone’sballsifthebastarddidanythinguntoward.IleftyouinaprotectedenvironmentandIcameback.That’stotallydifferentthanyoujumpingintoacarwithaconvict,crossingstatelines,andshackingupwithhim.”
“Don’tcallmethatagain,”Stonewarned.“Anddon’tmakeherfeelstupidfortryingtostaysafewhenyouweren’taroundtodothejob.She’sanadultwithagoodheadonhershouldersandshedidwhatshethoughtwasbestinthesituation.Whydon’tyoubackthefuckoff?”
“Areyouhopingthatifyousuckuptoherenoughorsoundlikeyou’reonhersideshewon’trefusetotestifyanddumpyourassbackinprison?”
“Shutup!”sheshouted,hervocalcordsrattlinginagrowl.“Justshutup.I’mleavingnow.Don’tstopme.Don’ttrytofindme.Don’tsayanotherfuckingwordtome.I’mdone.”SheturnedtoHeath.“Willyougetmeoutofhere?”
“No!”StoneandAxelbothyelledatonce.
Thentheylookedateachotherasiftheywereshockedtheyfinallyagreedonsomething.
“You’renotleaving.”Stonecrossedhisarmsoverhischestandblockedherpathtothedoorwithachallengingglare.
Axelstoodbesidehim,theirposesalmostidentical.“Whathesaid.”
Itwouldhavebeenfunnyifherheartweren’tbreakingintoamillionpieces.“Neitherofyouownme.I’mnotachild.I’mnotaburden.”ShecastapointedglareatAxel,thensentadeadlyglowertoStone.“AndI’mnotafool.”
“Ofcourseyou’renot,”Axelsaidinhis“patient”voice.“Noonesaidyouwere.”
Hedidn’tmeanittosoundcondescending,sheknew.Butitfeltthatwayanditmadeherwanttogritherteethandpunchhim.Afternearlythreeyears,she’dthoughttheywerefriendsatleast.She’dbelievedthathecared.Yeah,he’dtraveledherefromLondontoseeherbutnowshewonderedifhe’ddoneitmoretoassuagehisoverdevelopedsenseofguiltthanbecauseofanyrealattachment.
“Baby,youcan’tleave.It’stoodangerous.”Stoneclenchedhishandsintofists.Anguishfurrowedhisbrow,andshewouldhaveswornhewasswallowingdownpain.“Idon’twanttoloseyouatallbutIespeciallydon’twanttoloseyoutoCanton.Ifyouleavewhenyou’reunpreparedandemotional—”
“Don’tsayanotherword,eitherofyou,”shehissed.“Youbothlostthatrightwhenyoudeceivedme.Axel,I’llprobablyforgiveyousomedaybecauseyousoldmeouttofollowyourheart.Inaweirdway,Igetthat.”SheturnedtoStoneandshookherhead,thetearsshefeltdesperatetoshedclingingtotheedgeofherlashes.She’dalmostbeamazedifsheweren’tsocrushed.“Butyou…youusedme.Andithadnothingtodowithyourheart.”
“That’snottrue,”heswore.“Youstoppedbeingaboutmyfreedomalongtimeago.Itookonelook—”
“Andfellinlove?”shescoffed.“Themeofthirtyminutesagowouldhavebelievedthatandthoughtitwassodamnsweet.Thatgirlwouldhavethankedherluckystarsthatsomeonesokindcouldloveher.God,Iwasstupid.ButIknowbetternow.IjustwishIhadn’ttoldyoueverysingleoneofmysecrets.”
Axelsidledcloser.Wisely,hedidn’ttouchher.“You’reangry.Icompletelyunderstand.I’msodamnsorryifIhurtyou.Butdon’triskyourlifebecauseyou’repissedoff.Cantonisoutthere.TwominutesbeforeIwalkedinthedoor,IgotatextthatpoliceinIowafoundReaper’sbodyovernight.Someoneputabulletrightbetweenhiseyesabouteighthoursago.”
Lilywasn’tshockedatall,butknowingthattoldheroneimportantfact.“IfCantonwasinIowaeighthoursago,hecan’tbeintheswamprightnow.Givememyphoneandgun,”shesaidtoStone.“I’mtakingmybelongingsandgoing.”
Axelcursedandlookedreadytobreakthefurniture.Stonepaced,thenroaredasheapproachedawallandpunchedit.Heshookhishand,andLilywinced.Thatmusthavehurt.Alreadyshecouldseethathisknuckleswerebleeding.Butdamnit,hedidn’tcareaboutherpain.Sheshouldn’tcareabouthis.
“I’lltakeyouintotown,ifyoulike,”Heathoffered.“We’lltalkaboutyourplansfromthere.”
“Idon’tneedababysitter.”Shemarchedtowardthebedroomtogathertheclothesandthepersonalitemsshe’dscatteredaround.
“Soyouknowwhereyou’reheading?”Heathcalledafterher.
“No,”sheadmitted.“Butanywhereisbetterthanhere,andCantonshouldhavenoideahowtofindme.SoIthinkI’llbesafe.”
“Youhavemoney,then?”
“Some.”Shedidaquickmentalcalculationandrealizeditwasn’tmuchbutitwasloadsmorethanshe’dleftCaliforniawithatsixteen.“I’llgetby.”
Justbeforesheroundedthecornerintothebedroom,shecutaglarebackintothelivingroom.Themenallexchangedglances.Noneofthemwantedtoletherleave,andtheywerespeakingthatsilentmanlanguageandcommunicatingaplan.Noideawhat,andshedidn’tcare.Shewasgoingtoliveherlifeonherownfromthismomentforward.Whenshe’dfirstarrivedinDallas,she’dletThorpetakeherin,abitlikeanadoptivefather.He’dpassedhertoAxel,who’dbeenlikeanarrangedhusband.He’dtakencareofher,buthishearthadn’treallybeeninit.
Stone…Well,he’dcomeatherlikealothario,preyingonherdesireforloveandacceptanceforhisowngain.Lilywasn’tsurewhathurtworse,thathe’ddoneitintentionallyorthatshe’dbeennaiveenoughtolethim.
“Lily,baby.”Stoneshookhishead.“Don’triskyourself.Please.”
Sheswallowedbackheranger.Hepretendedtocarebecauseifshewalkedoutthedoor,therewenthismealticket.Fuckhim.
Still,shesawhowthiswasgoingtowork.Theywerethreestrappingmen,allprotectorsbynature.Theycould—andwould—physicallyholdherhereunlessshepretendedtoconcedethattheywereright,shewaswrong,andofcourse,shewashelplesswithoutthem.
“I’llhaveHeathwithme,”shereminded.“Onthewaytotown,hecanhelpmefigureouthowtoslipawayfromLouisianaundetected.I’llstartover.I’llbefine.”
Stonebarreledtowardher.Andhewasn’tstopping.Lilyretreatedwitheverystephetook,scramblingawayuntilherbackhitthedoorjamb.Withoutpreamble,hewrappedstrongfingersaroundhernapeandtiltedherhead,crushingherlipsbeneathhis.
Thefeelofhimtakinghermouth,plunginginsidetoclaimher,wasashock.Hersensesregisteredpleasureandsafetyandlove.Herheartwantedtothrowherarmsaroundhim,meltintohissolidwarmth,andholdonforever.Herheadknewbetterandrevolted.
Lilyshovedhimaway.“Don’t.”
“Iwillfightforyou,”hevowed.“Iwilldoeverythinginmypowertokeepyou.IloveyouandIdon’twanttoletyougo.”
Hisdarkeyespinnedherinplacewithconvictionandsincerityanddevotion.Hereallyshouldwinawardsforhisperformance.
Inthebackofherhead,shewonderedif,bychance,hewasserious.Lilygrimaced.Nope.Nomoreofthisgiving-him-the-benefit-of-the-doubtshit.Sherefusedtobegullibleagain.
“You’rewastingyourbreath,Stone.I’mdone.It’sover.See,you—andeveryoneinmyformerlifeinDallas—decidedIwasweak.Theycoddledanddeceivedme.NoneofyourealizedthatIdon’thavetobeloudtobestrong.Ihavesurvivedmoreinafewyearsthanmanydoinalifetime.IadmitIhavefeelingsforyou.IbelievedIwasinlovewiththemanyoupretendedtobe.Hewasamirage.Yeah,myheartisbroken.Butitwon’tbreakme.Irefusetobeavictimagain.Nowgivemethegoddamngun.”
Noonesaidanythingforalongmoment.Lilycouldalmostfeelthemomentherealizedthathecouldn’tpreventherfromleaving.
“I’llwatchoverher,”Heathpromised.
Whichwas,nodoubt,codefor“Heathwouldn’tletheroutofhissightuntilsheeithersawreasonorStonefoundawaytopersuadeherbackintohisarmsandbed.”
Fatfuckingchanceofthat.ButLilyplayedalongtogetawayfromthemillionmemoriesofStone’sseemingtenderness—allalie.
“Letgo,”shedemandedinahoarsewhisper.
Slowly,Stonereleasedherandsteppedback.Reluctancestampeditselfalloverhisface,andhelookedasifhewantedtograbher,caveman-carryhertothebedroom,andscrewheruntilshewastoosatedtocare.Whatdiditsayaboutherfeelingsthatshewasalittlebittempted?
Beforeherhormonesandherhearttookover,sheheldoutherhandforherweapon.Withasigh,hepulleditfromthesmallofhisback,checkedthesafety,andsetitinherpalm.
“Younevertookthegun-safetyclass.Ifyoudon’tknowwhatyou’redoing,atleastletmetakeyououtthisafternoonandwecanpractice—”
“No.”Becausethatsoundedasifhewasstallingforawaytokeephertheresoshecouldcooldownwhileheusedhismasculinewilesonher.“Pleasegetoutofmyway.”
Stonemadeagreatshowofagonyandregretasshemarcheddownthehallandbacktothelivingroomwithagrowledcurse.Asshegatheredupherbelongingsandtossedthembackinthesuitcase,shecouldhearthementalkingamongthemselvesinlowtones.Schemingbastards.Still,afreshcleaverofpainthreatenedtosplitherchestintwo.Howcouldanypartofherstillloveamanwhohaddeceivedandusedher?Whohadplottedtodowhateverittooktoturnherintoalovestruckidiot,willingtoriskherlifesohewouldn’thavetoreturntoprison?
Lilyknewthatifshetestified,Cantonmightfinallypayforwhathe’ddonetoErinandherfamily.She’dlovetoseethatsicksociopathputawayforgood.Butwouldhertestimonybeenough?WhatifCantonwentfree?Shewouldhavegainednothing.AndevenifshegotonthestandandheldherhandtoaBible,itwouldn’tbringbackanyonesheloved.Itmightcurbanypotentialfutureviolence,true.ButitwouldsureashellbenefitStonemostofallrightnow.
Sherefusedtostayanotherminutesohecouldfindanewvulnerabilityinhersoftunderbellytouseagainstheragain.Timetofinallyletgoofthepast,bothdistantandrecent,andstartover—thistimealoneandstandingonherowntwofeet.
ChapterSixteen
IT’Squiteeerieouthere.Butpeaceful,”HeathremarkedasherowedawayfromStone’sskiffandthroughtheswamp,towardthewaitingdirtlotofparkedcarsontheothersideofthewater.
Lilywonderedifhesimplycouldn’tstandthesilenceorhewantedtodragherintoaconversationsohecouldconvincehershewasmakingabigmistake.AsifAxel’sregretandStone’sanxietyweren’thintenoughthattheyboththoughtherleavingnowwasassafeasbathinginchumbeforeswimmingthroughshark-infestedwaters…
Sherefusedtogetinvolvedinhisconversation.“Hmm.”
Heathshotheraglance.“Allright,I’llskipthechitchatthen.They’reworried.”
Whatwasshesupposedtosaytothat?Thankyou,CaptainObvious.“They’renotmyproblem.IknowtheyonlyallowedmetoleavebecausetheythoughtyouwouldmakesureIdidn’tdoanythingstupidandthatthebigbadwolfcouldn’tgetme.Butrealistically,youcan’twatchovermefortherestofyourlife,soyoutellmewhatitwilltaketoconvinceyouthatI’msafeenough.Whatdoyouneedtoleavemeinpeace?”
“I’dratherhopedyouwouldcooloffand…”Hestoppedthereandsighed.“Butthatseemsunlikely,sowhatareyourplans?Icanhelp.OnceIthinkyou’resecureandI’massuredCantonisn’tonyourtrail,I’llbackoff.”
Maybe.ButLilydidn’tbelieveanyoftheseguysanymore.Yes,theysoughttokeephersafe,buteachandeveryoneofthemwascutfromthesamecloth—convincedtheywereright,determinedtoprotect,andcertainthattheendsjustifiedthemeans.Whethertheymeanttoornot,theymadeherfeelincapableanddependent.She’dbeenthatforfartoolong.
Lilydidn’tvoiceanyofthistoHeath.Ifshedid,hewouldonlysticktoherlikesuperglue.
“Ihaveafewhundreddollarsandwaitressingskills.They’rerusty,butifyoucangetmetoNewOrleans,Icanfindajob.I’maproatdyeingmyhair.I’llsplurgeonapixiecut.I’vegotsomebluecontactsinmytotebagleftoverfrommyHalloweencostumelastyear.Iknowhowtochangemynameanddisappear.”
Heathwasalreadyshakinghishead.“Cantonfoundyouonce.Hehasresourcesathisdisposalyoucan’tevenimagine.JackColetoldusthatitlooksasifCantonhadMafiashankedinprisondaysagoandReapershotbetweentheeyesonlylastnight.”
Lilyrecoiledinhorror.Afteryearsawayfromthatman’sviolenceshe’dforgottenhowswiftandcruelitcouldbe.
“Testify.”Heathdrilledherwithadarkstare.“That’stheonlywaythismessends.”
Ofcoursehe’dsaythat.Andshe’dagreedtoitlastnightwhenshe’dbeensated,wrappedinStone’sarms,believingtheyhadafuturetogether.Intoday’scoldlight,shesawclearlytheyhadnothing,especiallynothonesty.“I’mnotdoingitsimplytokeepyourpaloutofjail.”
“Stoneisnofriendofmine.Iscarcelyknowhim.AndbeforeyouimaginethatIhaveanyallegiancetoAxel,rememberthatIknewandlovedMysteryfirst.IstoppedfightingforherbecauseIcouldplainlyseethatherheartwasotherwiseengaged.It’sactuallyinmybestinteresttohaveyouinAxel’slife,causingfrictionbetweenthetwoofthem.ButI’mgettingolder,andIsupposeIhaveabitofasentimentalstreak.Iwantwhat’sbestforpeoplesincelifesorarelygivesthattoanyonewithoutsomefinaglingorashove.Testifyingandfinallyclosingthischapterofyourlifewouldbenefityoumostofall.Idon’tknowthedetailsbutIknowyou’vehadadifficultroad.Getonthestandandtellthetruth.Getclosure.MakecertainCantoncan’tharmanyoneelse.Thenstartoverhoweverandwithwhomeveryoufancy.”
Heathhadsomegoodpoints.Butrightnowshewastoodisillusionedtosortthroughherthoughtsandtooheartsicktomakeanydecisions.Theideaofenteringacourtroomaloneanddredgingupeverybitoftheexcruciatingpasttoajuryoftwelvestrangersbothmadehersickandfilledherwithterror.Ofcourse,thatassumedshewouldlivelongenoughtotestifyatall.TheminuteCantonlearnedwhatsheplanned,he’dcomeafterherwitheverythinghehadandhewouldtakeherdownwithoutmercy.
Theeasiestpathwouldbetostartoverasanewpersonwithanewlife,hopefullyoneCantonwouldneverfind.ForgetLilyTayloreverexisted.
Couldshelivewiththat?
LilysaidnothingtoHeathbecauseengaginghiminconversationonlymeanthewouldtrytoinfluencehermore.
Thesoundsofnaturebrokethesilenceastheyreachedthedockbesidethedirtparkinglot.Callie’sprettynewAudiSUVsatbesideStone’sblacktruck.Axelmusthaveborroweditsinceheonlyownedamotorcycle.Heathwas“visiting”sohedidn’thaveacar,either.
Lilyeyedthevehiclesandtheroadbeyond.Thensheturnedback.Thesunslantedinshimmeringbeamsthroughthecypresstreesandoverthestillwatersthat,despitelookingdead,sheknewteemedwithlife.Shecouldn’tseeJack’scabinorStoneandAxelstandingontheporchwatchingHeathrowherawayanymore.
Sheliterallyhadcometoaturningpointinherlife.Keeprunningtostayaliveorriskdeathtotellhertruthinacourtoflaw?
Heathtiedofftheboat,thenclamberedout,liftinghersuitcaseandduffeloutofthelittleskiff.Onwobblylegs,shestoodandclutchedhertoteandtheboxofhermostpersonalitems.
“Let’stalkthisthrough,shallwe?”hesuggested.“Icanbethevoiceofreason—”
“Ihaveplentyofreasononmyown.Canyoujustletmethinkfortenminutes?”Shesighed.
Holdingoutahand,Heathhelpedherontoland,thenwithdrewthekeystoCallie’scarfromhispocket.“Ofcourse.”
Lilywincedathisclippedtones.Shehatedtoberudebuttriednottoworryaboutthefeelingsofamandoingherbetrayers’bidding.Ontheotherhand,shehadnodoubtthatHeath,aformerMI5agent,wouldkeephersafeifCantonmanagedtotrackherdownbeforeshemadehergreatescape.
Butattheendoftheday,shedidn’twanttoexchangeonekeeperforanother.
“Thanks,”shemurmuredashecarriedmostofherluggagetothevehicleandstoweditinside.
Hemerelynoddedatherasheopenedherdoorandstartedupthecar.
Sonowwhat?Lilydidn’thaveananswer.
InsidetheleatherinterioroftheSUVfilledwiththatlusciousnew-carsmell,LilysettledbesideHeathandtriedtodecidehernextmove.Regardlessofwhethershetestifiedornot,shehadtostayoffCanton’sradar.Itwouldbesmarterifshekeptoffeveryoneelse’s,too.ThatmeantshehadtoscrapherplantoheadtotheKeys.Stoneknewallaboutit—andhemightnotbetheonlyone.NogoingtoNewOrleans,either.Nowthatshe’dmentioneditonawhimtoHeath,they’dlookthereaswell.
Atthefirstpossiblemoment,shewouldhavetoditchherphoneandcomputer.IfStonewasn’ttrackingboth,Axelmightbe.OrThorpe.She’dthoughttheywereallsuchconcernedprotectors.Instead,theyweredeceivingbastards.Buteveryoneofthemwasacontrolfreak,andshehadasuspiciontheywouldn’tsimplylethergo.Forthelifeofher,shecouldn’tfigureoutwhy.
Lilytriedtothinkthroughheroptions.Shedidn’treallyhavemoneyfornewgadgets,butshecouldbuyanewburnerphonethisafternoonandleavetheothertwodevicesbehindsomewhere.Thebatterieswouldrunoutsoonenough;thenhertrailwouldbecoldunlessshedidsomethingstupid.
HeathnavigatedtheseeminglylongdrivetocentralLafayette.TrafficbustledduringthelunchhourashestoppedthesleekwhiteSUVintheparkinglotofaWalmart.“Ifyou’releaving,you’llneedafewitemsfromhere,right?”Helookedupatthefacadeofthebuilding.“Iloathethisplace.”
Despitethereallycrappydayshe’dhad,Lilyhadtogrin.“Me,too.Butyeah.Ishouldgrabafewthings.”
“I’llhelp.”Hereachedforthehandletoopenthedoor.
Shegrabbedhisarmandpulledhimback.“Youcanleavemehere.I’mabiggirl.I’llmanageonmyown.IfIdecidetotestify,whodoIcontact?”
Lilythoughtitwisetokeepheroptionsopen,justincase.
Heathshrugged.“Keepyourmobilehandy.Oneofuswilltextyoushortly.”
Seriously,herpatiencewascomingtoanend.“Don’ttreatmelikeanidiot.YouknowI’mditchingthephoneassoonasIcan.Ineedananswernow.”
Withasigh,Heathpulledhisphonefromhispocketandfiredoffatext.Withinmoments,thedevicedinged,signalingthathe’dreceivedananswer.“SpecialAgentBobBankhead.He’soutoftheLosAngelesoffice.Stoneistextingyoutheman’sphonenumber.”
She’djustbethersneakyCasanovawas.Wouldheloveitifshesavedhisass?“Fantastic.Nowaskhimtoleavemethehellaloneforgood.”
Lilywasn’tsurewhyshe’dmadesuchademand.No,thatwasn’ttrue.Somefoolishpartofherhopedthathe’ddisregardherwish,comeridinguponhiswhitehorse,andchooseherafterall.
Sostupid.
“Icanalreadytellyouhewon’tagree,”Heathsupplied.“Ever.”
Heathmustbewrong.Stonewouldtotallylethergoasifshemeantabsolutelynothingtohimbecauseshedidn’t.Still,maybeshewasbetteroffnothearingStone’sanswer.Itwouldonlyhurtmore,andshedidn’tneedtheaddedpain
Damnit,shehadtostopwiththeself-pity.She’dclosedthechapteronherexistenceonceatsixteen.Shewouldsimplydoitagain.
“YouthinkI’mwrong.Icantell.”Heathshookhishead.“I’veseenfartoomanymeninlovelately.Iknowwhatonelookslike.”
“Maybe.ButIdon’tthinkyou’reverygoodatspottingaconman,andIwishyouwellwiththefuture.Soundslikeyou’llneedit.”Shehoppedoutofthecar,notsurprisedwhenHeathfollowed.Sheignoredhimandretrievedashoppingcartfromanearbycorral,thenopenedthehatchinbackanddumpedherluggageinthecart.“Thankyoufortheride.Ihopeyou’reabletogetoverMysteryandmoveon.Good-bye.”
JustlikeshehopedtorecoverfromStonesomeday.Realistically,thatwasprobablyfarinthefuture.
Heathshiftedhisweight,lookingreluctanttogo.“Lily,howwillyouleavetown?Youdon’thaveacar.Asatarget,you’retooeasytotakeoutallalonelikethis.You’llwantprivacysoon.Nightwillfall.Don’tmakethiseasyforCanton.HemightnothavebeentheonetoshootReaperinIowa.It’squitelikelyhestillhasviolentmeninhisemploywillingtodohisbidding.Hecouldbewaitingforyouaroundthenextcorner.”
Inherhead,Lilyknewthat.Shedidn’twanttoputherstubbornnessoverherpersonalsafetybutshewasgoingtohavetomakedowithouttheseguysfortherestofherlife.Whynotstartnow?“I’mnolongeryourproblem.Consideryourselfrelievedofdutyorwhatever.Inlessthanthreehours,I’llbeacompletelynewwomanandlonggone.Thanksforthelift.”
Withthat,sheheadedintothestore,onlyglancingbackoncetoensurethatHeathhadn’tfollowedher.She’dhalf-expectedhimto,buttohersurprise,hestoodunmovingnexttoCallie’ssleekwhitevehicle,thehotwindrufflinghisdarkhair.
Inside,Lilytriednottofeelcompletelyalone.Shewassurroundedbypeople,afterall,someofwhomwouldmakeforgreatsocialmediaposts.
Shehurriedthroughthecoolairofthebig-boxstoreandpickedupaprepaidcellphone,alongwithafewothernecessities,thenhightailedittothehair-careaisle.Shescannedthedyes,tryingtodecideonacolor.Redtendedtoattractattentionandbleedoutquickly.Mostshadesofdarkblondwashedheroutbecausetheycontainedtoomuchgoldforherpinkskintone.
WhyhadStonepretendedtoloveandcareforher,listenedtohersecrets,worshippedherbody,andbecomehereverythingifallhe’dwantedhertodowastestify?Whyhadn’thejustflat-outaskedher?He’dbarelytriedtoappealtoherlogic.Maybebecausehedidn’tcreditherwithany.Rightnow,shewasquestioningthatherself.Shedidn’tunderstandhowhecouldlookatherwithsuchnakedfeeling,slidedeepinsideher,allthewhileconvincingherofalovehedidn’tfeel.
No.Shewouldn’tthinkabouthimanymore.Stonewasn’timportanttoherfuture.Gettingoutofthistownwas.Amediumbrowncolorwouldhelpwiththat.She’ddoneitbefore.Notherfavorite,butshewouldblendin.
Shegrabbedthebox,scannedit,andthrewitintheshoppingcartbesideher.
“LilyTaylor,”amasculinevoicecalledfromdirectlybehindher.
Shefroze.Shehadn’theardthatvoicesinceshewasateenager,notsinceoneofthedarkestdaysofherlife.
TimothyCanton.
Sheturnedslowly,hopinglikehellherearshaddeceivedher.Butno.Therehestood.Despitehislookingafewyearsolderandafewpoundsheavier,sherecognizedhim.Hedefinitelyappearedmorerespectableinapairofcasualshortsandacrispgolfshirtwithacaplowoverhisface.Anyonewhosawhimwouldimaginehe’djustcomeoffthecourse.
Howhadhefoundherandcreptupbehindher?
“It’sbeenalongtime,”hemurmuredinalow,almostsecretivevoice.
Fearfrozethebloodinherveins.Hereyesflaredwide.Panicslicedthroughherlikeaphysicalpain.Shebackedupastep,rattlingintoboxesofhaircolorandshampoo.“Youcan’tkillmehere.Mymurderwillbeonsecuritycameras.”
“Murder?”Hegaveherthesamefakelaughshe’dheardwhenhe’dpretendedsurpriseatfindingErinatthewarehouse.Itsentchillsdownherspine.“IcametoLouisianatotalktoyou,nothingmore.”
Sure,hehad.Next,he’dtrytosellherabridge.Beforeheoffedherandburiedtheevidence,ofcourse.
TimothyCantondidn’tcompromiseorgiveanythinginreturn.Hesimplysmashedeveryoneinhispathwithanironfist.Andbecausehewantedtobegovernor,theybothknewshestoodinhisway.
“Ihavenothingtosay.”Shefumbledforherpurseandshovedherhandinside,rummagingaroundforhergun.“Goaway.”
“Ifyou’rereachingforafirearm,Iwouldn’tdothat.Thestoremanagementwillhavethepolicehereinthreeminutes,andyou’llgotojailforcarryingaweaponwithoutapermitinLouisiana.Ifyoupointitatme,itwouldbenaturalforthemtoassumeyoumeantoroborkillme.Andmaybeeveryoneelseinthestore.”
Cantonwasright,andLily’snextinstinctwastodrophimtohiskneeswithaswiftkicktotheballs,thenstartrunning.Butthemomentsheleftthestore,shewouldnolongerbeinapublicplace,andshe’dbesomucheasierforhimoroneofhisthugstoeliminate.
“Ialsofeelcompelledtopointoutthatifyoutouchmeinanyotherway,Icanpressassaultcharges.”Hegaveheranempty,almostbenignsmile.
Apolitician’ssmile,sherealized.Itpromisedbenevolenceanddeliveredwhateverservedhimbest.Thoughhelookedmoresuitedtothecountryclubthantothemeanstreetsthesedays,shecouldn’tforgetthatherapedandkilledwithoutremorse.He’dtakenhermother,herbrother,andherbestfriendfromherwithoutblinking.
Heartracing,thoughtswhirling,shetriedtodecidewhattodonext.“Whatthehelldoyouwant?”
“Justtotalktoyou.Iapproachedyouinpublic,hopingthatwouldn’tscareorintimidateyou.Towardthefrontofthestorethere’sasandwichshop.Letmebuyyouasoda.We’llsit.I’dlikeyoutohearmeout.”
“No.”
“Isuggestyoureconsider.”Histonewassilky,almostcasual,butsheheardtheunderlyingthreat.“It’sinourmutualbestinterest.Ineedyoursilence.AndIhavealotofmoney,whichyou’llneednowthatyouhavenojob,nocar,nofriends,nohome…”
Lilyfeltasifhe’djustpunchedherinthestomach.“H-howdidyouknowallthat?Howdidyoufindme?”
“CometothesandwichshopandI’llexplain.”Hegesturedtotheendoftheaisle.
Shelookedforawayoutofthesituation.ThelastthingshewantedtodowassitacrossatablefromTimothyCantonandpretendtohaveacivilizedconversation.Underhisnewveneer,shehadtobelievehewasstillthesameoldcriminalandsociopath.Still,theminutesheleftthestoreshewasprobablydead.Maybeshecouldplayalong,thentipoffsomeoneintherestaurantoranemployeethatshewasintrouble.Butwhatifshegotaninnocentbystanderkilled?Maybeshecouldescapetothewomen’sbathroomtocall…who?Shecouldn’tringanyoneshe’dleftbehind.Eveniftheycame,shecouldn’ttrustthem.Andifshecalledthepolice,whatcouldshesay?AmanfromherpasthadaccostedherinWalmartandforcedhertohaveacarbonatedbeveragewithhim?
No,butshehadBobBankhead’snumberonherphone.Thefedmightbeabletogetheroutofthisbind.True,buttosecurehishelp,she’dhavetoagreetotestify.LookingatCantonnow,shewasn’tsurethatwasasmartidea.
Lilyforcedherselftoexhaleandthink.Cantonwouldn’thurtherinapublicplacewithsomanycamerasonthem.Maybeifsheheardhimout,shecouldfindsomewaytoescapethismess,hopefullyforgood.
Sheprayedforcalmasshepushedthecartfilledwithallherworldlybelongings.Asshewalkeduptheaisleandturnedlefttowardthesubshopshe’dnoticedwhenshefirstwalkedin,shepassedrowafterrowofshoppersandemployees.Nooneseemedtonoticeanythingunusual.Thatwasgood…andbad.
Whentheyreachedthesubshop,Cantonusheredherinandgrabbedholdofherarm,ensuringshestoodrightbesidehim.Hisfingersbitintoherarmwithjustenoughforcetoremindherhowdangeroushecouldbe.Butthesmilehesenther,blanklykind,madeherwanttocringe.Itsdeceitfulemptinessscaredhermostofall.
“Whatwouldyouliketodrink?”heaskedasifhedidn’thaveacareintheworld.
Nothing.Shefeltsureifshetriedtoswallowanything,shewouldthrowup.Butshealreadyknewhewouldn’tacceptthatanswer.“S-sprite.”
Whenhereachedthecashier,heorderedhersodaandanicedteaforhimself.Shedidn’tdarelookatthegirlbehindthecounter.ShelookedeverybitasyoungasErinhadthedayCantonhadkilledher.Lilydidn’twanttoberesponsibleforanotheryounggirl’stortureanddeathbecauseshestillrememberedhowmuchthebarbarianhadenjoyedtakingErin’sinnocencebeforehe’dtakenherlife.Sosheclutchedthehandleofhershoppingcartandlookedanywhereelse.
Assoonastheyhadtheircups,Cantonledhertoasquareboothwithastickywoodlaminatetabletopinthecorner.Heparkedhercartbehinditandsethercupdownandshooedherintoherseatbeforeheplantedhimselfacrossfromher.
“Ihavenothingtosaytoyou.”Sheglaredhisway.
“Ithinkyou’llwanttohearthis.”Hepausedandsentheraconsideringstare.“YouleftDallasquickly.Didthatbruteyouusedtosleepwithbreakyourheartwhenhestartedshackingupwiththefamousdirector’sdaughter?”
HeknewaboutAxel?“Howlonghaveyoubeenwatchingme?”
“Years,”heassuredher.“Keepyourfriendsclose…”
Andyourenemiescloser
Lilyswallowed.AndCantonhadn’ttriedtokillherinallthattime?Ofcourse,sincehewasrunningforgovernor,thatmeanthehadtoridalltheghostsfromhispast.“Whythehellbotherwithchitchatnowthatyou’veblownupmycarandmylife?”
Hescowled.Eventhoughhisgoldenbrownhairdidn’tmove,hisfaceappearedtoturndownintosomethingthatlookedalmostlikearealexpression.“Iheardaboutthatincident.Ididn’tplantthatbomb.Imerelyleftyouflowersinyourcaratwork,tellingyouexactlywhatIwanted.Iwaswaitingacrossthestreetforyou,watchingforthemomentyoufoundthebouquetsoIcouldapproachyou.Butyouweren’talone.Thatex-conwhowantedyousobadlyfollowedyoutotheparkinglot.WhenyouleftDominion,youdiditsoquickly,Ididn’thavetheopportunitytofollow.Thebombwasunexpected.”
“Meaningoneofyourgoonsdidit?”Shesneered.
“No.”Hemanagedtogrithisteethyetstillflashherthatterriblesmileagain.“MeaningIhavenoideahoworwhyithappened.Let’strytobepleasant,allright?”
Sheleanedinandscowled.Itdidn’tmatterifshewasabitchtoCantonbecausehewasprobablygoingtokillher.“Ican’tsitacrossfromtheanimalwhomurderedsomanypeopleIlovedandnotwanttobothvomitandstabyoumyself.”
Hegaveheranodofseemingregretthatshedidn’tbelieveforasecond.“Ancienthistory,Ms.Taylor.Thatwasadifferenttime,andI’madifferentmannow.”
Bullshit.“Yeah?Thenwhydidyourapeandkillawomaninmyapartmentwholookssuspiciouslylikeme?Orareyougoingtotellmethatwasn’tyourhandiwork,either?”
“Ihadnothingtodowiththat.”Heshookhishead,doinghisbesttolookinnocent.
“Thenoneofyourthugsdid.”
“Inolongerhavethugs.I’mabusinessmanthesedays,nothingmore.Andfollowingyouhasbeenafull-timejob.Whenyoudisappearedintotheswamp,Ikepttryingtofigureouthowtoexploretheareaandpinpointyourlocation.Youhadyourphoneofffordaysand—”
“Youweretrackingmyphone?”
“HowelsedidyouimagineIcouldfindyou?OnceIfiguredoutyouralias,Ihadanassociatewhoworksforyourwirelessproviderkeepaneyeonyou.Ifyouveeredmorethanfiftymilesfromhomeorwork,healertedme.Thankfully,yourarelydid.”
“Cutthecrap,”shegrowledathim.“You’renohumanitarian.YouhadMafiashankedinprisonafewdaysago.YouhadsomeoneputabulletbetweenReaper’seyeslastnight.You’regoingtooffme,too.”
Shewasn’tsureshewouldbebraveenoughtoconfronthimifsheweren’tsurroundedbypeoplecomingandgoinginthelittleeatery.Anelderlycouplesatinthemiddleofthearea,bothtalkingloudlytoeachother.Apairofteenageboysstaredatthegirlbehindthecounter,oneopenlyflirting.Ablondwomanbouncedababygirlonherlapandpickedatasub.Lilythankedgodshewasn’talonewiththissavagepsycho.Hemightkillher,butshe’dgettospeakhermindfirst.
“Mafiametwithanunfortunateeventduringhisincarceration,”Cantonadvised.“Suchashamethathemadeenemiesbehindbars.Iguesshe’llnevergetthatdealforareducedsentenceinexchangeforhistestimonyaboutourpast…dealings.”Heshookhisheadinmocksympathy.“Notmyfaultatall.”
Whichmeanthe’dtotallybeenbehindMafia’smurder.Thethoughtmadehersick.
“ButReaper?”Hefrowned,lookinggenuinelypuzzled.“Someonekilledhimlastnight.”
“Howdidyouhear?Didn’theliveinIdaho?”
“Iowa.”
“Ah,yes.He’dfoundGod.Iremember.Well,hopefullyhe’satthepearlygatesnowbeingwelcomedwithopenarms.ButIhadnothingtodowiththat.Truly.”Heleanedforwardanddroppedhisvoicesothateventheboredblondetryingtoeavesdropoverherbaby’ssquealscouldn’tpickuptheirconversation.“Look,I’vedonesomethingsinthepastthatdon’tmatchtheimageI’dprefertoconveynow.You’vebeenaquiet,unobtrusivegirlforyears.Thattellsmeyou’rereasonable.SoI’mwillingtocompensateyouforcontinuedgoodbehavior.Ihavesomepaperworkinmymotelroom,afairlydetailednondisclosureagreement.Comewithmetolookitover.”
Washecrazy?“Gotohell.Iwon’tfollowyouanywhere.Iwon’tsignanything.AndIespeciallywon’tgotoyourmotelroom.”
“It’sworthhalfamilliondollarstoyou.”
“ItcouldbehalfatrillionbutifI’mdead,Ican’tspendit.”Andshehadlittledoubtthemoneywasarusetolurehersomeplacehecouldkillher.Besides,whatkindofpricetagcouldshepossiblyputonthelivesofherlovedones?Fivehundredthousanddollarswasprobablymoremoneythanshe’deverseeinherlifetimebutthatamountforthreeofthemostpreciouspeopleontheplanettoherseemedawfullycheap.
“I’mhurt.”Hepouted,andshedidn’tbuyitforaminute.Cantondidn’tactuallyhavefeelings,justruthlessness,greed,andambition.“I’mtryingtoengageinsimplecommerce.You’rebeingdifficult.”
“WhathappensifIrefuse?”
Hegaveherwhatheprobablythoughtwashismostconcernedsmile.“I’dhateforaserious,maybeevenfatal,accidenttobefallyou.Buttheseunfortunatethingssometimeshappen.Sosad.”
Ofcourse.Tobehonest,shewassurprisedhe’dofferedtopayheranything,butshewasprettysurehemerelymeanttoscamher.
“Beforeyoureply,I’velearnedovertimethatmoneycancontributetoamuchhigherqualityoflife.Youmightenjoythewindfall.”
No.She’dfeelterribleeverymomentofeverydayshehadthebloodmoneywithallthosezerosinherbankaccount.AsfarasLilywasconcerned,she’dheardenough.SheneededtograbherstuffandgetoutofthestorebeforeCantoncaughtuptoher.“Fuckyou.”
Shestoodandgrabbedhercartfrombehindthetable,thendartedaroundthemazeoftablesinthelittleplace.AglancebackatCantontoldherthathewatched,shakinghishead.“We’renotdone,Lily.”
Theblondewiththebabyshotheraconcernedglance,thenstood,anchoringthelittlegirltoherhip.Lilydidn’twaittoseewhatthebystanderwoulddo.SheneededtoescapebeforeCantonorhisgoonsgrabbedher.
Shedashedtothecheckoutwithherboxofdye,burnerphone,andotherassortedgoodies.Whenshereachedthefrontoftheline,Lilyusedsomeofherpreciouscashtopayforheritems.Asshedid,shescannedforCantonorhisthugs—anyonewholookedasiftheywerewatchinghertoocloselyandwaitingforachancetopounce.Butshesawnoonesuspiciousinsidethestore.
Nowshejusthadtogetoutside,throughtheparkinglot,andescape.Obviously,ifCantonwasgoingtorunforgovernor,hewasn’tgoingtoshootherhimselfinaplaceteemingwithcameras.Shedidn’thavethetimetowaitforataxiorthemoneytopayforone.Itwasathousandfreakingdegreesoutthere.Shehadeverythingsheownedinherluggage,andsheneededtomovefast.Todothatandmakeacleangetaway,sheneededtomakesureCantoncouldn’tfollowher.
Asshehustledtotheexit,thestoremanagerstoodnexttoabigguywearinganametagpinnedtohisvest.“Excuseme.I’mhopingyoucanhelp.Iwasaccostedbyamaninthestoreearlier.He’saboutfivefootten,midthirties,wearingawhitegolfshirt.”LilyturnedandspottedCantonlurkingaroundanearbyimpulseaisle,pretendingtobeengrossed.Shepointed.“Canyouhelpme?JustkeephimhereuntilIcangettomycarandleave?”
Thestoremanager,afortysomethingAfrican-Americanman,lookedpissedoffonherbehalf.Sodidhisbodybuildingpal.Henodded.“Go.We’lltakecareofhim,ma’am.”
“Thankyou.Iwasscared.”Andthatwasn’talieatall.“Iappreciateit.Somuch.”
TheywavedheroutthedoorandstoodblockingitasCantonstartedinherdirection.
Outside,shesighedinrelief,thenventuredawayfromthebuildingcautiously,scanningthehalf-emptyparkinglotforanyonewhomightbeonCanton’spayrollwithamissiontofinishheroff.Shesawanelderlywomandrivingaway.Aguywithdarkhairandsunglasses,rockingoutinhisJeep.Heglancedherwayonce,thenapparentlylostinterest.Hedidn’tseemthreatening,simplyasifhewerewaitingforhisbuddyorgirlfriendtocomeoutofthestore.
AndnosignofHeath.Well,theBritishbodyguardhadswornhewasleaving.Shedidn’tseeanysignofCallie’scar.Itwasjustaswell.Sheneededtofindsomequietwaytocarryallherstuffdowntheroadandrentamotelroomlongenoughtodyeherhair,changeclothes,wipeherdevicescleanofalldataandsoftware,andtrasheverythingshedidn’tintendtotakewithher.Shestillhadafewhundreddollarsleft.Maybeshecouldbuyabusticketandbesomewhereelsebynightfall.
Knowingitwasnowornever,Lilystrodeawayfromthestore.Thecraggyasphaltradiatedheat,andamiragecroppedupacrossthehalf-fulllot.Thetwentysomethingblondewiththebabyshe’dseenearlierapproachedher,pushinghershoppingcartofgroceries.
“Youneedhelp?Isawthatmantalkingtoyou.Youlookedscared.”Empathysoftenedthewoman’sface.
Lilyreallydidneedhelpbutshedidn’twanttoinvolveanyoneelseinherproblems,especiallysomeonewithababywhodidn’tlookolderthansixmonths.Outoftheblue,shewonderedhowthewomanfeltaboutmotherhood.She’ddressedherpreciousdaughterinfrillsandpink.ItremindedLilyoftheoneoutfitshe’dscrapedhermoneytogethertobuyReginabefore…Well,beforeeverything.Sheshovedthethoughtsaway.
“I’mgood.”Shetriedtosmile,awareherhandswereshaking.“Thanks.Yourdaughterisadorable.”
Thewomansmiledandstrokedthelittleone’shead.“She’ssuchagoodbaby,too.I’mlucky.Haveaniceday.”
“You,too.”Lilysawthewomanstopatabluecompact,thenloadthebabyandherplasticbagsinthebackseatbeforesheslidbehindthewheel.Someday,ifshecouldeverputtheCantonmesstobed,maybeshe’dfindamanwhotrulylovedherandhavetheblessingsthatwomanseemedtopossess.
Butfirstshehadtoescape.
Lilyglancedoverhershoulderassherolledeverythingsheownedintheshoppingcartandheadedtowardthefarendofthelot.Theyoungmombackedoutofherparkingspot.TheguywithmidnighthairstillsatinabiggrayJeepwiththewindowsrolleddown.Whenhelookedatheragain,hisdarkstaredidn’tseemquitesodisinterested.Shepushedhercartacrosstheblacktopfaster.
“Lily!”amalevoiceshoutedacrossthelot.
SheturnedandspottedCantonrunningafterherbetweentheparkedcars.Instantly,herheartrevvedupandterrorjuicedherbloodstream.He’dprobablysmooth-talkedhiswayoutofherdistraction.Andhe’dcaughtheralone.Godknewwhathe’ddonow,butsheexpectedhe’dhavesomeplantogetherawayfromhereandmakeherdeathmorehorrificthanshecouldimagine.NoonecrossedCantonandlived.Besidesutterterror,theonlythingLilycouldfeelwasregret.She’dfailedErin,hermom,andherbrother.Hersecretswoulddiewithher.Andtheirkillerwouldwin.
“Youcan’tdothis!”ButLilywaspainfullyawarehecoulddowhateverhewanted.She’dbeenstupidtosendHeathaway,evenifshehadn’tthoughtCantoncouldpossiblyfindherthisquickly.She’donlyneededthreehoursalonetotransformherself,damnit.
Butthatwasclearlythreehourstoomany.Cantonwasobviouslyeverybitasdeviousanddeterminedashe’dalwaysbeen.
“Threequartersofamillion,”heshouted,chargingafterher.“Cash,ifyousigntoday.”
Notthatshebelievedhe’devergivehermoneyforsilence,butwherewouldhegetthatmuchliquidmoney?
“No.Leavemealone.”Attheedgeofthelot,shepickedupallherbelongingsandtriedtorunforthesidewalkoffthemaindragahead.Withcarspassingtoandfro,Cantoncouldn’tshootorabductherinbroaddaylight,couldhe?Therewouldbewitnessesorsidewalkcams—something.Right?
Justthen,acarweavedupbesideher,stoppingbetweenherandCanton.Abluecompact.
Thetintedwindowonthedriver’ssidesliddown,andthewomanwiththebabyturnedtoherwithaworriedexpression.“CanIgiveyoualiftsomeplace?”Lilystartedtorefuse,butthewomanglancedinherrearviewmirroratCanton,who’dnowhalted.“WhenIwasyounger,Ioncefoundmyselfstrandedintheheat,carryingmostofwhatIownedonmyshoulders,too.Akindsoulhelpedmeout.I’dlovetopayitback.Icouldusesomegoodkarmaaboutnow.AndIwouldfeelterribleleavingyouwiththatguy.”
LilylookedatCantonbarelytwentyfeetaway,justwaitingfortheopportunitytopounce,thentothewoman’searnestface.Thebabycooedandshookitsrattleinthebackseat.Surelyawomancartingherinfantaroundwouldn’tbeacrazyaxmurderer.AndtheblondehadtobesaferthanCanton.Besides,thesoonershegottoamotel,thesoonershecouldwipeherphoneclean,transformherself,andleavethistown.
“I’mEmmaandthisisIsabel.Ipromise,wedon’tbite.Well,she’steethingbut…”
Lilycockedherhead.Thesunbeatdownonher,andshewasbeginningtosweat.Shehatedsnapdecisions,butCantonwouldcatchuptoherinthenexttenseconds.Still…
“Thismanisdangerous.You’retakingabigriskwithyoursafetyandyourbaby’s.”
Emmanodded.“Yes,andmyhusbandwouldkillme.ButIknowthatlookonyourface,likeyou’velosteverythinganddon’tknowwheretogo.Thatmanisharassingyouandyou’reafraid.Iwasinasimilarplacetwoyearsago.I’llgetyouawayfromhere,hon.”
ItwaseithergetinthecarwiththewomanorwaitforCantontowraphishandsaroundherthroatandsqueeze.
“Thatwouldbegreat.Thanks.”LilywantedtohugthewomanandhopedCantondidn’tmakethestrangerpayforherkindness.
EverythingthathadhappenedthepastfewhourswascatchingupwithLily.Shehadn’teatenyettodayanddidn’tknowwhereshe’dbeineighthours.Shehadnoideawhereshe’dlayherheadtosleeptonight.Noideahowshewouldkeepherselfalive.Thethoughtwasenoughtomakeherwanttobreakdownandgiveup.Butshewasstrongandresourceful.Shehadsomemoney,aguninherpurse,andexperienceonherside.
Emmashovedthecarinpark.“I’llhelpwithyourgear.”
Togetherthetwowomentossedherluggageintothetrunkandbarelymanagedtogetitslammedshut.AglancebackprovedCantonstoodbesideahugebrownpickupencasedinmudandstared,wearingafuriousglareonhisface.Clearly,hehadn’texpectedabystandertohelpher.Buthealsowasn’tgoingtoharassherwithawitness.
Oncesheslammedthetrunk,Emmahurriedtowardthedriver’ssideofthecar.LilywatchedandnoticedthecarhadCalifornialicenseplates.Shepaused,uneasetricklingthroughher.
“What’swrong?”
“You’realongwayfromCalifornia.”
EmmagaveCantonanervousglance,thennodded.“Myhusbandstartedhisowncompanyrecently.Hecanworkfromanywhere,sowedecidedtomoveclosertomyfamilyforIsabel’ssake.Thecostoflivingischeaper,whichisimportantrightnow.I’llmissSanDiegobutIthinkherewillbeallright,too.”
Emmaslippedbackintothecarandcooedatherbaby.Lilyhesitated.Noteveryoneofthethirty-somethingmillionpeoplefromCaliforniawereinvolvedwithCanton.
Takingadeepbreath,sheslippedintotheblessedair-conditionedcomfortofthecar.“Goodluckwitheverything.”
“Thanks.”
Asthewomanpulledoutofthelot,Lilypowereddownhercellphone.Assoonasshegottoamotelroom,shewouldwipeitcleanandsetuptheburner.
Emmasmiledanddrovetothemainroad.“Whereto?”
“There’salittlemoteldowntheroadofftothelefthere.”Lilypointed.“It’snotfar.”
“Oh,we’restayingtheretoountilwefindahousetorent.”Withthat,Emmapulledoutontotheroad.
OnelastglancebacktoldLilyCantonstillwatched.Shedidn’tthinkforoneminutethatshe’dseenthelastofhim.
Twominuteslater,theypulledintothelot,andEmmaputthecarinpark.“Hereweare.”Shetwistedaroundforherpurseonthefloorboardbehindheranddraggeditintoherlap.“Letmegiveyousomethingbeforeyougo.”Lilywasalreadywordingherrefusaltoacceptmoneyifthat’swhatthewomanintended.Instead,Emmawhippedoutasyringeandshovedtheneedleintoherarm.“Sorry.IknowTimothyCantonisdangerous.”Herexpressionmeltedintosomethingthatlookedlikehate.“ButmyhusbandandIarefarworse.”
ChapterSeventeen
ICAN’Tfuckingstandthis.”StonepacedthefloorofJack’scabin,nearlyreadytocrawloutofhisskin.“Ihavenoideawhat’sgoingon.IsLilyokay?Isshesafe?WherethehellisHeathwithareport?”
Hehadn’tlikedanyofthis,especiallylettingherwalkoutthedoor.Butshedidn’ttrusthimnow,notafterthedamageAxelhadwrought.Lilywouldhaveonlyhatedhimifhe’drefusedtolethergoorhe’dfollowed.Atthetime,thathadseemedimportant.Now,hedidn’tcare.Hejustwantedtoknowthatshewasallright.
Tobeonthesafeside,he’dtextedOne-Milethemomenttheskiffhaddisappearedintotheswampandgiventhesniperherposition.AssoonasHeathhadadvisedAxelthathe’dtakenhertoWalmart,he’dtextedthatinformation,too.Butthebastardhadneveranswered,andnowStoneworriedshedidn’thaveenoughprotection.Hefeltasifsomeonehadshovedahotpokerinhischest,asifhisgutswerenowtwistedaroundaballofanxiety.
Hewantedtothrowhisphonethatwasn’tbuzzingwithinformationacrosstheroom.No,hewantedtogofindLilyandconvinceherthattheonlythinghe’deverwantedfromherwasherlove.
Instead,AxelandhisbigmouthhadpersuadedherthatStonehadonlybeenusingher.
“YouthinkI’mgoingtoletanythinghappentoher?”Axelscowled.“Hell,no.Heathiswatchingoverher.Heknowsexactly—”
“WhythefuckdidyoushowupandundoeverythingI’dbuiltwithLily?”hegrowled.“She’dbeenmakingsomuchprogress.We’dbeengrowingourtrust.”
“Basedonwhat?Ahugefuckinglie?”
Stoneshookhisheadandtensedeverymuscleinhisbody.ItwastheonlywayhecouldrestraintheurgetoripAxel’sheadoff.“NothingandnooneismoreimportanttomethanLily,youholier-than-thouasshole.Youmadealotofassumptionsaboutmymotiveswithoutactuallyknowingme.Ihavedonenothingbuttrytogetthatwoman’sattentionandpersuadehertobelieveinmesincethedaywefirsttalkedabouther.IusedtheFBI’soffertogetclosetoherbecauseThorpeandSeanandJackwantedtohearthatIcouldhelpheractuallyhavearealfuturebypersuadinghertotestify.Atfirst,Iwasinfavor,too.IadmitthatIdidn’twanttogobacktoprison.ButnowIwanthertobesafewaymorethanIcareaboutanythingelse.”
Axelrolledhiseyes.“PrettyspeechbutIdon’tbelieveawordofit.Youhavenowaytobackthatup.”
Hedidn’t.Stonegrittedhisteethandcursedunderhisbreath.Thensomethingoccurredtohim.“Actually,Ido.”
HewhippedhisphoneoutagainandtextedBankhead.ItoldyouyesterdaythatIwantedoutofyourschemesinceit’stoodangeroustomakeLilytestify.WhencanIexpecttogobacktothebighouse?
Bankheadwrotebackalmostinstantly.Tomorrow,youstupidprick.Youwereluckytohavethisopportunityandyoupisseditaway.Itwon’tcomeagain.
Stonedidn’tfeellucky,butatleasthehadproofofhisintentions.HeshovedhisphoneinAxel’sface.“Readthis.I’mdonewastingmytimeherewithyou.I’mleavingtotalktoLily.BeforeIgobackbehindbars,IwanthertoknowthatIlovedherandneverbetrayedher.I’vealreadygotaplaninmotiontomakehersafewhileI’mgone.Sogobacktoyourfiancéeandgetthefuckoutofmyway.”
Withafrownofconcentration,Axelmulledoverthetexts.“Youreallytriedtobowout?”
“Yes.IalsotriedtohiresomeonetokillCanton.I’malreadygoingbacktoprison,soIreallydidn’tcareifIgothitwithsolicitationofmurder,too.Fuckerwouldn’ttakethejobbutheagreedtowatchoverherandputabulletbetweenCanton’seyesifnecessary.”
Axelcockedhishead.“Seriously?”
“Yeah.YouobviouslythoughtmefinaglingthatfirstmeetingwithLilyshowedmytruemercenarycolorsorwhatever,butIreallydidjustwanttomeether.AndIwanttospendmylifewithher—”Hesighed.“WhythefuckamIexplainingmyselftoyou?Idon’tcareifHeathhasaneyeonher.I’mdone.Lettinghercooloffwasabadidea.I’dratherhaveherbewithmeandpissedoffthangoneandinanypossibledanger.”
“Sorry.”Axelswallowed,lookingcontrite.“Ihadnoideayouactuallyhadfeelingsforher.Ididn’tcomeherewithanythinginmindexcepttoprovideherprotectionand—”
“Saveit.I’mgoingtofindher.”Butwhenheusedtheapphe’dinstalledonhisphonetotrackhers,ittoldhimthedevicewasoffline.Colddreadslicedhimintwo.Hehadtogettotownbeforeshechangedherappearanceandgotawayforgood.
Ashemadeforthedoor,Axel’sphonedinged.“Wait.Wehaveanissue.”
Stonefroze.“What?”
“HeathsaysCantonwasinsidetheWalmartwherehedroppedLilyoff.Shelookedshakenwhenshecameout.Hefollowedher.”
Stonecouldn’tbreathe.He’dfailedher,totallyfuckingblownitbylettinganyonecomebetweenthem.He’dwantedhertocalmdown;thenhe’dhopedtoexplainthesituationtoheragainandthatshewouldchoosehim.Oratleastforgivehim.He’dthoughtforsureCantoncouldn’tfindherthatquicklyoreasily,thatshe’dbeallrightforanhourortwo.Theriskhadbeentoobig,andnowheregretteditlikehell.
“Ihavetogorightfuckingnow.”Stonegrabbedhiskeysandlefteverythingelsebehind.
“Butwait.HeathsaysnowthataGoodSamaritangaveheralift.Awomanwithababy.”
Thatnewscutthroughabitofhispanic,unwindingsomeoftheknotsinhisgut.“Soshe’ssafe?”
“Itlooksthatwayfornow.Heathsaidthewomandroveawaytooquicklyforhimtofollow,though.I’llaskhimaboutalicenseplate.”
Beforehecouldfinishtappingoutthetext,Stone’sphonedinged.One-Milefinallyresponded.Theonlymessagewasapictureofalicenseplate.Textfollowed.Yourgirlgotawayfromthedirtbagandescapedinthiscar.I’mfollowingthemnow.
“I’vegottheplate.”StonetoldAxel.“Idon’thaveagoddamncomputerhere.Weneedtorunthisnumber.It’sfromCalifornia.”
Axelfroze.“Acoincidence?”
Thatbuggedtheshitoutofhim.“Idon’tbelieveinthem.Fuck.”
Hisheadraced.Whothehellcouldhecall?Whowouldknow…HeprowledthroughhiscontactsandhitLogan’snumber.
“Hey,fucker,I’mstillnottalkingtoyouafterthatDilbertthing,”theformerSEALgrumbledafteronering.
Stonedidn’tbotherwiththebanter.“Lilyleftthecabinandjumpedintoanunfamiliarcar.Ineedtoknowwhoit’sregisteredtobeforeshedisappears.”
“I’mnotgoodwith—”
“I’mcallingtoaskforyourwife.Ididn’tknowhowtocontactTaradirectly.”
“Sendmetheinfo.I’llfindherandcallyourightbackwhenI’vegotsomething.”
ReliefpouredthroughStone.Maybeallwasn’tlost.One-Milewasstilltrailingher.Theymightbeabletoquicklyidentifywhetherthiswomaninthebluecarwasfriendorfoe.
“Textingitrightnow.”
StoneforwardedOne-Mile’spicture,thengrippedthedeviceandwaited.
“Weshouldheadout,Ithink,”Axelsuggested.
Itmighthavebeenoneofthefewtimesthebigbruiserhadn’ttriedtobosshimaround.“Idon’tgiveafuckwhatyoudobutIknowwhereI’mgoing.Soifyoudon’twanttobestrandedhereuntilJackcomestofetchyourass,let’sgo.”
Axelnodded,andtheyheadedtotheboat,Stonelockingupbehindhim.He’dturnallthegeneratorsandbreakersofflater.Ifheevenhadthatmuchofalaterbeforeheadingbacktoprison.Ifnot…Jackcouldhandleit.
Theysettledintotheskiffinsilence,heandAxelrowingquicklythroughthethick,stillwater.Itwasn’tfastenoughforStone,whoneededtomove,todosomethingtofindLilyfaster—climbout,swim,run,whateverworked.Butlogictoldhimtheyweremovingfasternowthanhecoulddoanyofthosethings,andhesimplyhadtoputalidonhisworryandimpatience.
Aminutelater,Loganpoppedupwithamessagethatdidn’tmakesenseatfirst.ThenameofthemantowhomthevehiclewasregisteredseemedfamiliarandStonecouldn’trecallwhy.
“What?”Axelasked.
“Thinking…Somethingaboutthisiswrong.”
Allofasudden,thenamemadesense.Thepuzzlepiecesslammedintoplace.Acold,sickdreadassailedhim.Hefeltasifsomeonehadrippedhisheartfromhischest.Lilywasinmuchmoredangerthanhe’devenimagined.
“Idon’tthinkCantonistheonetryingtokillher.”
ChapterEighteen
LILYawoke,feelingdazed.Asherheadlolledaroundonherslackneck,shepriedhereyesopen.Sunlightpiercedthesliverofspacebetweenthecurtainsandstabbedhereyes.Sheshutthem,recoiled.Wherewasshe?Whyhadshefallenasleepinthemiddleoftheday?
Shemoanedandforcedherselftolookaroundtheothersideoftheroom.Acheapmotel.Goldwalls.Graypatternedbedspreadsonthetwodoublebeds.Acrackedplasticlightfixtureonthewallabovethem.AbabycriedbehindherandLilytriedtowhirlaroundtothesound.
Butshecouldn’tmove.Astartledglancedownprovedthatshe’dbeenrestrainedatthewristsandanklestoachairwithzipties.Fearcutthroughthevestigesofsleepandjoltedherwide-awake.Adrenalinesurgedthroughherracingbloodandpumpingheart.
Thelasttimeshe’dbeentiedtoachair,everythinghadendedbadly.
Lilysatup,blinked.Thiscouldn’tbehappening.How?Why?Butasshetuggedandpulled,tryingtoloosentherestraintsatherwristsandankles,shecouldn’tdenythatherordealwasalltooreal—andterrifying.Ifshecouldn’twrigglefree,maybeshecouldgetonherfeet,chairandall,andwalkout.Butwhenshetriedtostand,theclunkychairfeltbulky.Drugsstillweigheddowneverymuscleandsurgedthroughherveins.Shemanagedtowobbleuprightforafewsecondsbeforeherquiveringmusclesgaveout.Exhaustedandclammy,shesaggedbackdown.
Whowoulddothistoher?Noonesheknewwouldbeirresponsibleenoughtorestrainasubandleaveherunsupervised.AnygoodDominantknew—
SuddenlysherememberedtheWalmart.Canton.Thewomanwiththebaby.Thatwasthefussyinfantshe’dheardmomentsago.
Theafternoon’seventsrushedbacktoher,especiallytheblonde—astranger—sayingthatsheandherhusbandwereworsethanTimothyCanton.
Panicgrippedherchest,stoleherbreath.Whatthehellhadshegotteninto?Intryingtoescapeoneevil,she’dfallenpreytoanother.Lilywasn’tpreciselysurewhatthiswomanandherhusbandhadplanned,buttheyprobablyintendedtoendtheirdaywithherhorrificdeath.
Adoorbehindheropened.Tothebathroom?Thefaucetturnedon,andafemalevoicecalledtothebaby.“PrettyIsabel.Nocrying,littlelove.Mommywillberightthere.”
Thewaterturnedoff.Amomentlater,thebaby’sfussygroansquietedtoastaccatopout;thenEmma—ifthatwasreallyhername—appearedinLily’slineofvisionwiththebabyonherhipandasneeronherprettyface.“I’mgladyou’reawake.Myhusbandjusttexted.He’llbeheresoon.”
“HowdoyouknowaboutCanton?Whatdoyouwantwithme?”
“No.”Sheshookherhead.“I’mnottellingyouanything.IpromisedmyhusbandIwouldlethimexplain.He’swaitedforthisdayforyears.Iwon’ttakethejoyofhisvengeancefromhim,youtraitorouswhore.”
Lilyblinkedatthewoman,tryingtofigureherout.She’dneverseenEmmainherlife.Wasshejustcrazy?Hadtheymistakenherforsomeoneelse?
“Youmusthavethewrongperson.Ihaven’tsleptwithanyoneyoushouldbeangryabout.Idon’tthink—”
“Iknowwhoyouare,LilyTaylor.Andyou’regoingtogetwhat’scomingtoyou.Finally.”Shekissedthetopofherdaughter’sheadandsoothedherwithabrushofherfingers.“I’mhopingthatmyhusbandwillfinallyhavesomepeace.He’shadnightmaresforyears.Youdrovehimtoviolenceandrage.He’sgotPTSD.Andagapingholeinhislife—becauseofyou.”
Whatthehellwasthiswomantalkingabout?“DoIknowyourhusband?”
“Andyou’restupid,too,”Emmascoffed.“I’dlovetounloadallmyangeronyou.Hehasthepotentialtobesuchagoodmanandyou’vejust…reducedhimtodepressionandanxiety.Icameupwiththisplan,hopingthatitwillhelptocurehim.Nothingelsehas.Counseling?Ha.Awasteoftimeandmoney.Hedidn’tneedtotalkabouthisfeelings;heneedstoactonthem.That’showmenare,youknow?”
No,LilyreallyhadnoideawhatEmmareferredto.“Therehastobesomemistake.I’veneverwillinglyhurtanyoneinmylife.”
“Oh,lookatyou,alldoe-eyedandsad-faced.Youcan’tswayme,bitch.Cantonmaythinkthatpayingyouoffisthewaytomakethepastdisappear,andhe’llgethiscomeuppanceshortly.He’sdefinitelyearnedit.Butyou’regoingtopayforyourtreacheryfirst.Andwe’regoingtomakeyouanexampleofwhyheshouldbevery,veryafraid.”Emma’sevilsmileflashedwide,transmittingherobviousanticipationforwhatevertorturetheyhadplanned.
“HowdoyouknowCanton?”
Sheshookherhead.“Oh,I’venevermethim,butI’veheardplenty.Ifanymandeservestodiehorribly,it’shim.”
“So…yourhusbandisupsetaboutsomethinghethinksIdidasateenager?”
IfithadtodowithCanton,her“misdeed”musthavebeenthen.Shehadn’thaddealingswiththemansince.Andthemostterriblecontactshe’deverhadwithhimhadbeenthedeathsofeveryonesheloved.
“Upset?”sheshrieked.“Upset?No,upsetiswhathappenswhensomeonetakesthelasttoothpickatadinerorstealsyourcabintherain.WhatCantondidruinedmypoorhusband.Itdestroyedhim.”
Lilycouldn’tdenythatCantonhadruntheneighborhoodwithoutmercyandmadealotofenemies,soEmma’srantdidn’tnarrowthingsdownforhermuch.Alotofpeoplehatedtheman.Butshehadnoideawhatthathadtodowithher.“I’msorrytohearthat.Ifyoucanhelpmeunderstandwhoyourhusbandisandwhathappened,I’lldomybesttotalktohimwhenhegetshere.Maybewecanfindawaytohealhimtogether.”
Emmalookedasifshewasitchingtospewanothertirade,butsheclampedhermouthshut.“I’mnotsayinganotherword,andyoucan’ttalkyourwayoutofthis.Don’taskmequestions.I’malreadyplentyannoyedthatIhadtowaitaroundfordaysforyoutocrawloutofthatswamp.Ithoughtwewerenevergoingtogetyouawayfromallthosebig,protectiveguysyouspreadyourlegsfor.ButthenyoustrolledthroughWalmartlikeyouthoughtyouwereuntouchable.”Thewoman’slaughchilledherwithitsmaliciousfervor.“Ican’twaitforyoutofindouthowwrongyouwere.”
Soyetanotherpersonknewshe’dbeenintheswamp.Asforthemenshe’dspreadherlegsfor,EmmamustbealludingtoStoneandAxel.Or,Lilywondered,amItryinginvaintodecipheracrazywoman’sramblings?Maybe,butEmmadidn’tsoundinsaneasmuchasrighteouslymad.
“HowdidyouknowwhereIfledafterIleftCalifornia?”
“Please.”Emmarolledhereyes.“We’dalreadynarroweddownthatyouweresomewhereinTexas,butmyhusbandfoundyoutheminuteyouboughtthatgun.Hehasfriends.Reallydangerousones.You’llmeetthemsoon.”Shegrinned.“Thesecondyoudecidedthatyouneededtoprotectyourself,hewasalloveryou.We’vebeenfollowingyou,moreorless,eversince.”
Ifshehadstayedintheswamp,shewouldhavebeensafe.True,shecouldn’thavelivedthereforever,butleavingabruptly,withoutbeingcertainofhersafety,shouldbeagoodlifelessonforheraboutactingemotionally.She’dsimplywantedtofleethepainandhadn’tthoughtthesituationthrough.Lilyalreadyknewshewouldprobablypaythepriceforlettingherheartbreakruleherbrain.Atthetime,thethoughtofbeingforcedtolookat—nottomentionshareabedwith—amanwhothoughtnothingofdiggingintohersoulwhilehestabbedherinthebackhadbeenunfathomable.NowshewantedsodesperatelytoseeStoneandtellhimthat,despiteeverything,shestillhadfeelingsforhimthatranheart-deep.
Whateverelsehe’ddone,Stonehaddonehisbesttohealhersoshecouldgoon.He’dtriedhardtorepairthedamagetoherpsyche,herbackbone,andhersexuality.Untilthismorning,she’dbelievedhehadthemostbeautifulsoulshe’deverencountered.He’dcertainlyreachedheronalevelnootherhumanbeinginherlifeeverhad.
Wasthatwhyhisbetrayalhurthermorethananyoneelse’s?
Irrelevantnow.ShehadtofocusongettingoutofthesebindsandescapingbeforeEmma’shusbandputinanappearance.Clearly,shewassafeuntilhearrivedbecausethewomanwasn’tgoingtostealthegleeofhurtingandkillingherfromtheman.
Lily’sthoughtsraced,andshetriedtothinkofsomethingtosaythatmightlurethewomanintogivingherinformationthatcouldhelpheroutofthisdangerorenablehertoconfrontthehusbandwhenhearrived,butsheheardapoundingonthedoor.
Startled,shegasped.Pleasegod,letthatbeamiracle—someonecometosaveher.Becauseshehadnoideahowshewasgoingtogetoutofthismessherself
Emmawalkedpastherwithawide,sinistersmileandheadedforthefrontoftheroom.“I’llbetthat’sthepartyarriving.”Sheopenedthedooracrack,thengavealittlesquealofdelight,unlatchedthechain,andthrewtheportalopenwide.“Hi,Dan.Sogladyou’rehere!”
Thetall,tattedguysportinginksleevesonbotharmsandmoresignsonhisneckandshavedskullhuggedherinreturnandgrinned.“Hi,littlesis.”
Sis?Lilystared.SoDanwasn’tEmma’shusband?Apparentlynot.Maybethisguywasoneofthe“dangerousfriends”theblondehadmentionedearlier.
Thebigguywenton.“IdrovetherestofthetrekfromCalilastnight.Yourearliertextsaidtheguestofhonorwashere,andIcamerunning.”ThenheturnedonLilyastartlinglypalepairofeyesthatstaredthroughherwhileconveyingaterrifyingloveofviolence.Thatexpressionshookhertohercore.“Look,she’salreadyafraid.Thisshouldbefun.”Heturnedwhenhesawthemotelroom’sdoorgapingopen.“Shutthat.Youdon’twantanyoneseeingwhatwe’reupto.”
“Oh,right.”Emmagavehimadizzylittlesmile.“I’mjustsoexcited.”
“Me,too.IfoundahardwarestoreinthisPodunktownandbroughtsomeofthethingsyousaidyouneeded.”
“Good.Walmartwaspickedover.Thanks.”
“Nosweat.”WhenheheldupaplasticbagLilyhadn’tpreviouslynoticed,Emmagrabbeditoutofhishandsandshiftedthebabyintohisarms.“And,ofcourse,IhadtocomeseemylittleIsabel.Hi,pumpkingirl.DidyoumissUncleDanny?”Hecooed,gentlystrokingthebaby’scheekandmakingherflashasmilethatshowedoffhertwobottomteeth.“Ithinkyoudid.”
Lilytookthesightin.Ifhecouldbethatwarmandgentlewithababy,theremightbehopeforher,right?Shereallyprayedthatwhateverplotthesepeoplehadinmindwasn’thalfasbadasherimaginings.
ThenEmmabegantopullitemsfromthehardwarestorebag.“Yourememberedthetarp!That’soneofthemostimportantitems.Ican’tbelieveIforgotit.”
“AndIgotyouthebigonebecauseIknowthisisgoingtogetmessy,andwedon’twanttoriskstains.”DanswiveledhisgazeinLily’sdirectionandsentherachillinggrin.
Sheshuddered.Ohgod.Hisgentlenesswiththebabydefinitelydidnotextendtoher.Lilyhadaninklingthatwhatevertheyhadplannedwasfarworsethananythingshecouldconceive.Shehadtoswallowdownalumpoffear.Whatthehelldidtheyplantodotoherthatrequiredalayerofplastic?Didsheevenwanttoknow?
“Goodthinking,”Emmaquipped.“Andit’sclear,too.You’reawesome.”
“Ifiguredyouwouldn’twantanythingtoobscurethecolorofherblood.”
“No,totally.That’sgoingtobethebestpart,right?Thepoolsofit?”
Anotherwaveofterrorshudderedthroughher,stealingherbreath.Shebitherliptoholdinascream.Theysoundedeagertomakewhatevertheydidasgoryaspossible.
Oh,deargod.
“So,whatelse…”Emmareachedintothebagagainandpulledoutmoreitems.“Heavy-dutyscissors,pliers,handheldpruningshears.Andthey’retitanium!”
“Superstrong.Onlythebestformybabysister.”Hesmiledfondly.
Lilywatchedinhorror.Theymeanttocarveherup,letherbleedout.Sheswallowedagainstarisingtideofpanicandtriedtokeepthinkingofwaysout.
“Thiscouldbethestartofawholenewlifeforyou,Em.Thanksforinvitingmetobeapartofit.I’mhappytohelp.”
“Aww…”Shekissedhisstubbledcheek.“Ican’timagineanyoneItrustmore.”
Lilywatched,utterlystunned.Asiftortureandmurderweresomehowhappyoccasions,likeamarriageorbirth?Nauseawhirledinherstomach.Discreetly,shetuggedatherbondsagain.Buttheystillheldfirm.
“We’rejustwaitingontheothersnow,”Emmatoldherbrother.“Shouldwegetsetup?”
“Yeah,wecandothat.Kevisn’tfarbehindme.”Hefrowned,andLilywonderedifthatwasEmma’shusband’sname.Itdidn’tringabell.“WhatareyougoingtodowithIsabel?”
“She’snearlydueforherafternoonnap,soI’mplanningtomovehercarrierintothebathroomandshutthedoor.I’llputontheplaylistoflullabiesshelikes.Ithinkshe’llsleeprightthroughit.”
“Excellent.”Dannoddedhisapproval.“Whydon’tyougethersettled,andI’llworkonthesepreparations?”
Thisroomwouldgetmorecrowdedonceanothermanshowedup.Herabilitytoescapewoulddwindle.LilyhadnoideawhetherStonewastryingtofindhernow.Aftereverythingthathadhappened,wouldhe?Themanhadawideprotectivestreakbutnowthatshe’drefusedtotestify,didhereallycarewhathappenedtoher?MaybeAxelstillhadabeadonherphone,butsinceshe’dturneditoffbackintheWalmartparkinglot,hewouldn’tbeabletolocateher.Ifhechecked,hewouldseeherlastlocationbuthavenoideashewasbarelyhalfamileuptheroad,surroundedbybloodthirstysavages.
Emmamovedtothebackofthecheap,stalespace,ostensiblytakingthebabywithher.Thebathroomdoorclickedshut.Theair-conditioningunitbelowthewindowrattled,butthefaintstrainsof“Brahms’Lullaby”bleedingthroughthethinwallsroseaboveit.ThenDanaddedhisownsoundsasheshookouttheplastictarpdesignedtocatchherblood.
Lilyscannedhersurroundingsagain.Whatcouldshedo?Say?Offer?Wouldanythingpersuadethemancurrentlytearingthestiffsheetsandthreadbareblanketoffthebedtolethergo?Asshewatchedhimcoverthestainedmattresswiththenewtarp,shehighlydoubtedit.
“Don’tdothis.”Thepleadingwordsslippedpastherlips.“Ineverhurtyoursister.Idon’tevenknowher.I’llgiveyouanything.”
Heswiveledhisheadaroundtopierceherwiththateeriegaze,colorlessbrowsraisedinchallenge.“You’vetakenmoreawayfromEmmathanyoucouldpossiblyknow,youselfishcunt.Andthere’snothingyoucangivemethatIwon’tjusttakeforthefunofit.”Heleered,lookingherupanddownwithacruelhalfsmile.“Ihopeyou’reascreamer.”
Terrorexplodedinherbelly.Hedidn’tplantosimplykillher.No,heintendedtoextractapoundoffleshfirstbyforcinghimselfonher.Lilyswallowedbile.God,sheknewwhatrapelookedlike,hadaterriblesuspicionhowhorrifictheexperiencewouldbe.She’dneverforgottentheunspeakableviolationErinhadenduredbeforeCantonandhisgoonshadendedherlife.
Insomeways,LilywishedDanandwhoeverelseEmmawaswaitingforwouldskipaheadtothequickdeath.Atleastthenshe’dfindrelieffromthepainandhumiliationherattackersplottedtoheaponherwhiletheyforcedthemselvesonherbody,hermind.Butdeathmeantshewouldhavelostherdignityandherbattlewiththeseanimals.Lilyrefusedtobeaquitter.
Shewantedtolive.
Anotherpoundingonthedoorsoundedthroughthelittleroom,andDanstraightenedupfromthebedwithajumpinhisstep.Heweavedaroundherchairandwhappedhercheekwithamockingslap.Itstungmorethanalittleashesprintedforthedoorandopeneditacrack.“Kev!”
Hepulledthedoorwide,andthenewcomerlaughed.“DannyBoy,letmein.I’mreadytogetthispartystarted.Whereisshe?”
Dansteppedback,andLilygotherfirstviewofKev.Toweringlytall,theguyhadmusclesontopofhismuscles.HisolivecomplexionandnearlyblackeyesmadehimappearHispanicorItalian.Heworedenimloosearoundhishipsandaleatherjacketwithlotsofzippers.
“Ialsobroughtmyfavoritetoy.”Hepulledabladefromhisbackpocket,somethingwickedandserratedandcapableofslicingfleshwithfrighteningease.Thenheturnedtoherandhelditupinherface.“Whatdoyouthink,littlegirl?”
Lilyshrankbackandcouldn’tstopthewhimpersthatescapedherthroat.
Kevshutthedoorandpocketedthebladeagain,thenrubbedhishandstogetherasifhecouldn’twait.“Youlookprettywhenyou’rescared.”
“Shedoes,”Danagreedashecamecloseranddraggedhisfingertipsoverherchest,downthevalleybetweenherbreasts,beforehelandedasurprisinglyharshslaponhermound.Despitehisstrikingherthroughherclothing,thestingreverberatedthroughherbodyandturnedherbloodtoice.
Againstherwill,shecriedout.ShedesperatelysoughttocloseherlegsandcoverherchestwithherarmsbutEmmahadrestrainedherwell.Lilycouldn’tmove,couldn’tdoanythingtoprotectherselfatall.
Theblondepokedherheadoutofthebathroom,handonhip,expressionannoyed.“Hey,nostartingearly.Andtrytokeepitdownforanothertenminutes.Isabelissettlingdown.”
Danhelduphishands.“Sure,sis.Sorry.ButLilyisgoingtobeloud.Didyousayyoubookedtheroomsoneithersideofthisone?”
“Yep.Andtheonedirectlybelow,too.Thankfully,aflashofcleavageandcashkepttheoldguybehindthedeskfromaskingmanyquestions.Finishgettingreadyandletmegetthebabytosleep.Hi,Kev.Goodtoseeyou.It’sbeenawhile.”
“Yes,ma’am.You,too.”
SoKevwasn’tEmma’shusband,either.Whichmeanttheywereexpectingathirdmantojointheir“party.”
Whenthebathroomdoorshutagain,Kevignoredher.Dancheckedthetarponthebed,smoothingitflatandtuckingitunder.Thenhestrippedoffhistanktop,exposinganexpanseofpaleskinriddledwithscars,somefromablade,othersroundandsymmetricallikebulletwounds.Alongonesideofhisback,thetextureofhisskinwasunevenandlined,asifhe’dbeeninamotorcycleaccident.He’dtriedtocovermostofthemarkswithink.
Besidehim,Kevpeeledoffhisjacket,revealingafairnumberofopenscabs.Histeethlookedasiftheywerebeginningtorot.She’dbetanythinghewasaddictedtometh.
Lilyshrankbackinherseat.Shewantedtoclosehereyesanddivorceherselffromreality.Shewantedtoreleaseherconsciousnessandsoulfromherbodysoshedidn’thavetobeawareoftheawfulendasitcame.Buttodothatwouldbetoacceptthatdeathwasinevitable,andsherefusedtoconcedethat.Shemightnothavealottolookforwardtorightnow,butshehadsomuchlifelefttolive.Shehadlaughtertoshare,lovetogive,thingstolearn,mistakestomake.Shehadheartandwitandcompassion.
Somedayshewouldfindamanwhowouldtrulywanttoshareallthosewithher.Deepdown,pastherhurt,shewisheditwouldbeStone.
Butinordertohavethat,Lilycouldn’tburyherheadinthesandnow.Shehadtowagethebattleofherlife.Maybeshedidn’tdeserveafuture,butshewouldfightforhersuntilherverylastbreath.IfStonehadtaughtheranythingoverthesepastfewdays,itwasthatfearofsomethingwasactuallymoreterrifyingthanthethingitself.Shehadtostopbeingafraidofeveryoneandeverything—evendeath—ifshewantedtolive.
Andifshesomehowmanagedtoescape,shewouldconfrontStone.ShewouldvisitRegina’sgrave.Shewouldseeeveryoneofthesepeoplewillingtotortureherputbehindbars,andshewouldtestifyagainstCanton,too.ShewouldavengeErin,hermom,andherlittlebrother.Shewouldbeunwaveringandfierce.
TheresolvegaveLilysomethingtolookforwardtoandmadeherfeelstronger.
Thetwomenswepteverythingoffthenightstandandbegantolineuptheimplementsoftortureonthedarklaminatesurface.AshiverrolledthroughLily,butshefocusedonherbreathingandshovedherterrorintoacompartmentshe’dopenlater.Itwoulddohernogoodnow.Atthemoment,shehadtouseherhead.
Therewasnowaytoescapethischairuntiltheyunfastenedherrestraints.Iftheywerepreparingthebedforthenextphaseoftheirplan,theywouldfreeheratsomepoint.She’dhavetomakearunforitthen.Yes,theyhadarowofsharpobjectsnearby,butLilycouldgrabone.Shealsospottedherpursestrewnhaphazardlyonthechairnearthedoor.Ifshecouldgrabitandgettohergun,maybeshecouldshootherwayoutside.Maybesomeonewouldhearorseeherandcallforhelp.Orshecouldturnonherphone,dial911,andhopethatsomeonewillingtohelpherwasstilltrackingthedevice.
Ifshecouldgetherhandsandfeetfree,she’dsurprisethemandfighttothedeath.
Asoftclickatthebackoftheroomsoundedlikethebathroomdoor.Thefaintsoundsofclassicalmusicstillfilteredthroughthewalls.Lilyheardafemininesighofsatisfaction.
“Isabelisasleep.Sinceshemissedhermorningnap,I’mthinkingwe’llhaveagoodtwoorthreehourswiththisbitch.”
“Oh,alotoffun,then.”Danwhoopedwithexcitementasabigsmilespreadacrosshisface.“Didyougetbooze?”
“Idid.Drink?”Shebustledaroundinthebackground,thenheadedtowardthetwomen,bottleinhand.
Dangrabbeditfromhissister,andKevcrowdedintowrenchthecapoff.Emmadartedawayagain,thenreturned,thistimewithmurkylowball-styleglassesinhand.
“Ice?”Kevasked.
“Ididn’tgetany,”Emmasaid.“Iwastoobusywiththiswhore.Shewasalotoftroubletowrestleupthestairs,evenhalf-conscious.”
Lilyhadnomemoryofthatandwishedlikehellthatshe’dhadthepresenceofmindtostruggleorrunorcryforhelp.Buteverythingwasblankaftertheneedleinherarm.
“Nobigdeal.I’lldrinkitasis.Itstillburnsgoingdown,right?”Kevgrinned.
Themenbothpouredliquidfromthebottle,thensetitdown.WildTurkey,accordingtothelabel.Lilyonlyhadthevaguestideawhatkindofliquoritwas,butitlookedsmokyandhardandmorethancapableofintoxicatingaperson.Itwoulddimwhatfewinhibitionstheselunaticshad.
TheybothjumpedwhenKev’sphonebuzzed.
“Oh,shit,bro,”Danguffawed.“Thatstartledme.”
“Right?”Kevpulledthedevicefromhispocketandreadwhateverwasonthescreen.“Oh,sweet!Myneighbor’skidjustgotoutofjuvie.It’sprobablyhislasttripsinceheturnseighteeninafewweeks,butEmmasaidsheneededonemoreandthiskidlovesapieceofunwillingassandsomeblood.SoIinvitedhim.”
“Goodjob,man.Thesymmetryisperfect.”Danclappedhimontheback.
Symmetry?Lilywrackedherbrain,butthatcommentdidn’tmakesense.Allsheknewwasthatthejuvenilewasn’tEmma’shusband,either.Shewouldbetiedandhelplesswhilefourmen,onejustshyofeighteen,meanttorapeandkillher.
JustlikeErin.
Thetruthslammedintoherjustasthewhooshofthekeycardinthelocksoundedandthedooropened.Afacefromthepastappeared,almostobscuredunderthebluebillofaDodgerscap.Hisdarkeyeszeroedinonherwithaglaringsmileofevil.
CoreyGutierrez.Erin’solderbrother.Aguyshehadonceconsideredherfriend.
Nowhewasherenemycometoexactrevenge.
“Thereyouare!”Emmasaid,shuttingtheportalbehindher,thenleanedtowardCoreyforakiss.“Hi,baby.HowwasyourtriptoIowa?”
HewasEmma’shusband.Hesupposedlysufferedrage,PTSD,depression,andfitsofviolence.BecauseofErin’smurder?
“Successful.”Hegrinned.“TurnsoutReaperwascheatingonhiswifewhenIfoundhim.Whatanasshole.SoIsenthimtomeethisMakerwithabulletbetweentheeyes.MomdroveouttoseemeafterwardsoIcouldletherknowabouttheprogressI’mmakingwithourplans.Shesendsherlove,bytheway.ShewantstocomedownforThanksgiving.”
ReneeknewaboutCorey’smurdersandcondonedthem?Lilyblinked,horrified
“Great.”Emmagavehimaproudsmile.“Sohowdiditfeel?”
“ToshootReaper?Toseehisshockandwatchthelifeleavehiseyes?Amazing.Ican’tevendescribe…Butthisonewillfeelevenbetter,morepersonal.”HeglaredatLily,thentookhiswife’shand.“Youhavethebestideas.Isthebabyokay?”
“She’sfine.Sleepinginthebathroom.Wewerejustgettingreadyforthe…festivities.”Emmagiggled.“Andwaitingforyou.”
“Well,I’mhereandreadytogetthispartystarted.”Corey’ssmirkturnedvicious.“Hello,Lily.Thishasbeenalongtimecoming.Readytoexperienceeverythingmysisterdidwhenyoubroughtthosekillerstoherbed?”
ChapterNineteen
ASStoneracedtowardLafayette,hegrippedthewheeltightly.HehadbeensofocusedonTimothyCantonthathehadn’tseenCoreyGutierrezcoming.Hell,Erin’sbrotherbeinghertormentorhadneveroccurredtoStone.Butrevengemadeperfectsense.Aneyeforaneye.AndsinceLilyknewpreciselywhatErin’sdeathhadbeenlike,shemustbeutterlyterrifiedrightnow.
Hethoughtofallthetimeshe’dheldherasshetrembled,asshestruggledovermentalobstacles,fightingassailantswhohadn’ttouchedherandshecouldnolongersee,buthadscarredherpsycheallthesame.Nowthosemenwouldbealltooreal.Foryears,Lilyhadbeenthesorttoflee,notfight.She’dcrawledintohershell,asifatoningforhavingsurvivedthatday.She’dletthosemonstersrobherofwhatmighthavebeenabrightfuture.Stoneprayedshedidn’tdothatnow.Hehopedlikehellthatsheclawedandbitandscreamed—whateverittooktosurvive.
Ifhe’dhelpedherrealizehermentalstrengthanditgavehertheconfidencetoretaliatesoshecouldtakeanotherbreath,Stonewouldcounthimselfblessed.Evenifshecouldn’tforgivehimforeverconsideringBankhead’sdeal.Evenifsheneverspoketohimagain.Evenifhespenttherestofhislifepiningforher,he’dstillbeeternallygrateful.
Athisside,Axellookedtense,staringoutthewindow.“Howmuchlonger?”
“Fifteenminutes.”
Inthetautsilence,itwasterriblyclearthatbothmenknewthatfifteenminutescouldbefourteenminutesandfifty-ninesecondstoolong.Stonepressedalittleharderonthegaspedal.
“Ican’tsithereanddonothing.”Axelpickeduphisphoneandbegandialing.“Jack!”hebarkedwhenCole’svoicesoundedoverthespeaker.“Emergency.Lilyhasbeentaken.GetmeeverythingyouknowaboutCoreyGutierrez.He’sprobablysomewherehereinLafayette.Orhewaslessthananhourago.”
“He’stheoneafterher?”
“Yeah.HeathandOne-MilebothsawCantonleaveheruntouchedandwatchedasawomanthey’veneverseendroveawaywithLily.ThecarwasregisteredtoGutierrez.Heathwasonfootandlostthem.One-Milefollowed,butwehaven’theardfromhiminawhile.Heisn’tansweringhisphone,andIhopethat’snotbadnews.Weneedanotherwaytocatchthisassholebeforeit’stoolate.”
“I’mstillonit.IpokedaroundathisbackgroundacoupleofdaysagobutI’llfocustherenow.Hangon.”Jacktappedafewkeys.“Ishouldhearsomethingsoononthatinquiry.Theguyowesmeafavor.”
“I’llsendyoutheplatenumber.It’sfromCalifornia.We’vegottotrackthatcardown.It’sourbesthopeoffindingherintime.CanyoucallthecopsthereinLafayette?”
AnxietybitintoStone’sgut.HecountedhimselfluckythatheknewpeoplewillingtohelpfindLilyandbringherhomealive.Buthedidn’twanttohavetowaitforJackoranyoneelsetorescueLily.Hejustwantedhersafeandsound—preferablyinhisarms.
BeforeJackcouldanswer,Stone’sphoneontheconsolebesidehimbuzzed.Asheswervedaroundanelderlycoupletakingaleisurelydrive,hescoopeditup,heartracing.HehopedtofuckitwasLily.
Aglanceatthescreendashedthathope.“One-MilesayshefollowedawomanwithababytakingLily,wholookedsleepyordrugged,intoamotelroom.He’sbeentryingtogetthesitchsince.Threemenhaveenteredinthelastfewminutes,thefirstwithabulgingbagfromahardwarestore.”ThatmadeStone’sgutsknotup.“Thesecondonesaunteredinwavingaknifeinherface.Jesus!ThethirdworeaDodgerscap.”TheguyonthebalconyatLily’sapartmentbuilding?Again,Stonedidn’tbelieveincoincidences.“Whythefuckdidn’tOne-Milebargeintotheroomorshooteveryoneontheirwayin?”
“It’sapublicmotel.”Axelscowled.“First,youdon’tknowwhatroomsomeoneisenteringuntilthey’veactuallygoneinside.There’sallkindsofhelltopayforshootinganinnocentbystander.Second,ifthey’resmart,they’vedrawnthedrapes.Ifthat’sthecase,One-Milecan’tseeinsidetoshootthebadguys.Andhecan’tbargeintoamotelroomwithoutknowingwho’sthereandlackingbackuporanyideawhatheshouldbepreparedfor.ItcouldgetbothhimandLilykilledquickly.”
Stonedidn’tlikeitbuthegraspedtheconcept.“One-MilehastakenuppositionontheroofofthePhiladelphiaChristianChurchoffof167.”
Axelfrowned.“Ifhe’sontheroof,he’sreconnoiteringfromhissniperpositionandiswaitingtotakethemoutastheyexit.What’snearthatchurch?”
Stonehadn’tpaidthatmuchattentiontotheplacesofworshipsincehe’dcometotown.Itsoundedfamiliar,buthecouldn’tplaceit.
“It’srightnextdoortotheRoyalInn,ascuzzylittlemotelwithanamethat’swayloftierthanitsreputation,”Jackinformedthem.
“TakingLilytoano-tellmotelwouldmakesense.”StonesnappedinthedirectionofAxel’sphone,despitebeingworriedoutofhisfuckingmind.Still,hehadtofocusandstaycalmforhersake.“Gutierrezisn’tfromaroundhere.He’dneedsomeplacetotakeLilywherepeoplecouldcomeandgoinaprettytransientfashionwithoutraisingtoomanyquestions.He’dwantabed.”Andaplacetorestrainhersohecoulddohisworst.“Andhewon’tbealone.”
Doyouhaveanywaytoreachher?hetappedbacktoOne-Milewithonehandonthewheel.
Tohisshock,One-Mileactuallybegantorespond.Thethreetinydotsinthetextbubblesaidhewouldgetananswer,butitseemedtotakeforeverwhileanxietygnawedatStone’scomposure.
IfIdid,wouldIbewastingmytimetextingyou?
“Whatishesaying?”Axelasked.
StonegrittedhisteethandshovedthephoneinAxel’sfacesohecouldreadforhimself.
“AskOne-Mileifheknowsanythingelsepertinenttothesitrep,”Axelinsisted.“Wedon’thaveaminutetowaste.”
“Noshit.YouthinkI’mnotentirelyfuckingawareofthat?ThatknowingeverypassingmomentcouldbeLily’slastisn’tutterlydismantlingme?”Stonesnarled.“Holdthewheel.”
Oncehisbigpassengerhadafirmgrip,Stonepulledupthetextmessageandreplied.Thereinlessthan10.DoyouhaveLily’sexactposition?Whatelsedoyousee?
Again,One-Mileansweredpromptly.RoyalInnon167.Facingchurch.Secondfloor.Can’tseeanything.Drapesdrawn.Looksdangerous.Gethere.
Attheman’sreply,Stonetriedtostaycalm.AtleastheknewwheretofindLily.Theycouldn’tleavetheroomwithoutOne-Mileseeing.Problemwas,Stonewasn’tworriedaboutthemescortingLilyfromthebuilding.Hewasconcernedthatwhentheyopenedthedooragain,itwouldbetodumpherbodysomewhere.One-Milemightbeagreatsniper,buthecouldn’tstartshootingthroughacoveredwindowwithoutpotentiallyhittingLily.AndifGutierrez’swifewasstillinside,itwaspossiblethebabywasintheroom,too.
Howlonghasshebeeninthere?StonetypedbacktoOne-Mile.
10.Nomoretextingunlessemergency.Concentrating.
Nodoubtaboutit,One-Milewasadouche—exactlylikeStonethoughtwhenhe’dfirstmettheguy.Buthealsocouldn’targue.AsmuchashewantedinformationthatmighthelphimunderstandwhatLilywasenduringandhowhemightbestrescueher,hedidn’twanttodistractthesniperfromsuchacriticaltask.
Rakingahandoverthestubblecoveringhisscalp,heblewoutabreathandturnedtoAxel,whoshoutedintohisphoneasherelayedOne-Mile’sinformation
“Gotit,”Jacksaid.“I’vegotsomecopfriends.I’llcallthem.Ifyougettherefirst,dowhatyouneedtodoandthey’llhelpyouout.I’monmyway.I’llseeifIcanpingtheEdgingtonbrothersforbackup.”
Stonedidn’tbothercommenting,andheheardthecallend.Besidehim,Axelcursed.
“Thisshitisgoingtobeoverinfifteenminutes,”Dominion’ssecurityofficersaid,concerndarkeninghisvoice.
Onewayortheother.“Yeah.”
Axelreachedforhisphoneagain.“Weneedaplan.NooneisbetteratthatshitthanHeath.”
HadAxelcomefuckingunhinged?“Helosther!”
“Shewasonfoot,soheditchedtheflashywhiteSUVtofollow.Hedidn’texpecthertogetinsomeone’scar.”Axelsighed.“Anddon’tyouevertellthefuckerIdefendedhim.”
Stonedidn’twanttoargueorjoke.HejustwantedLilyback.Axelwasrightaboutthefactthattheyneededaplan.Hisheadstartedwhirlingwithpossibilities.Hediscardedasmanyasheconsideredalmostasquicklyastheypoppedintohishead.HowcouldtheygetintothatroomwithoutstartlingCoreyandhisposse?Hedidn’twantthemtopanicandiceherbeforehecouldgetcloseenoughtopullheroutalive.
Inthenearsilenceofhistruck’scab,StoneheardtheringingasAxelcalledHeath.TheBritansweredalmostimmediately,hisvoicesoundingclippedoverthespeakerphone.“I’mstilllooking.Iknowshelefttheparkinglotwiththatwomanandherbaby.”
“TheRoyalInn,”Axelsupplied.
“Brilliant.Popularplacetoday.AwomanapproachedCantonintheparkinglotandflirted.I’mguessingshegavehimasexinviteandtheyheadedthereaswell.”
Stoneheardeveryword.Thatseemedawfullycoincidental.Hedidn’tbelieveitforaninstant.
“AtleastifCantonisgettinghisjollieswithastranger,hecan’tbehurtingLily,”Heathoffered.
AxelgavetheBritthelayoftheland,explainingthatthewomanintheWalmartwasprobablyCoreyGutierrez’swife,whowasapparentlyhelpinghimmastermindandexecutehisrevengeagainsteveryonewhohadanythingtodowithhissister’sdeath.Infact,he’dbetthewomanwhopickedCantonupwasaplant,too.AndthatCoreyintendedtodustthegubernatorialhopefulASAP.
TheinternalticktockofeachpassingsecondpoundedStone’schestliketheblowofahammer.Hedidn’twanttothinkaboutwhatwouldhappenifhedidn’tgetthereintime,butasthemilesbetweentheswampandtownwhippedpast,thatwasallhecouldfocuson.Howfuckingmeaninglesswouldhislifebeifhecouldn’tsaveLily?Thenitreallywouldn’tmatterifhewentbacktoprisonortheyputhimsixfeetunder.Somehowshe’dbecomehisonereasontolive.IfCoreyGutierreztookheraway,Stonewouldwastetheassholeonthespot—gladlyandwithjoyinhisheart.Evenknowinghe’dgodownformurderonedidn’tbotherhim.ThescumwhohadrobbedhimofLily’slightandherofapromisingfuturehadtogo.
Stonefinallyturnedonto167fromI-10.Onlyacoupleofmilestogo.
Hangon,baby.I’mcomingforyou
“Weneedafuckingplannow.”AndthiswaswhereStonefeltatadistinctdisadvantage.He’dneverbeenabattlefieldhero.Everyonearoundhimhadriskedlifeandlimbfortheircountry,theirlovedones,theirpride.He’dstupidlydecidedtoconsomeassholesoutofmoneybecausehisstudentloanshadseemeddaunting,andwhywouldrichpeoplemissafewbucks?“Shouldwehavethemotelmanagementsendhousekeepinguptheretoknockonthedoorandstallthem?”
Evenashespokethewords,heknewitwasabadidea.
“No!”AxelandJack,viaphone,saidalmostinstantly.
“TheycouldpanicandkillLily,”Axelexplained.
“Orwhoeverknocksonthedoor.Orboth,”Jackadded.
Axelnodded.“Wedon’twanttospookCoreyandhiscohorts.Wedon’twanttogivethemanyreasontobesuspicious.Itneedstobeacleantakedown.”
“ItsurewouldhelpifwecouldfindsomewaytopersuadethemtoopenthatfuckingcurtainsoOne-Milecouldgetashotinthereanddisruptthem,maybepickoffoneortwo,”JacksaidjustbeforeStoneheardadingoverthelineandtheroughCajunswore.“We’reindeepfuckingshit.CoreyGutierrezwasMARSOC.”
“What?”Stoneasked,worrytighteningeverymusclebecauseJackmadethatsoundbad.“Whatdoesthatmean?”
Axelwinced.“MarineCorpsSpecialOperationsCommand.Itmeanshe’sadeterminedmotherfuckerwithicewaterinhisveinsandhe’sprobablydonesomenasty-assmissionsinhistime.”
“Whathesaid,”Jackagreed.“Itmeanshe’snotsomestreetthugwithoutseriousskills.He’sgoingtobewell-preparedandthorough.”
ThatworryinStone’sbellyturnedtoacidasitrolledandpitched,eatingawayathisinsides.“Wehavetobebetter.”
NoonearguedthatpointashepassedtheDollarTreeontheright.
“ButaccordingtothereportIjustreceived,Gutierrezwasdischargedafewmonthsagofor‘adjustmentdisorders,’whichisthemilitarywayofsayinghehaspsychologicalproblems,andtheywantedhimgone.Thatfactandhisspecialopsbackgroundexplainswhyittookmeawhiletotrackhisservicedown.”
Itsuckedbutnoneofthatmatterednow.StonecouldseetheuglybluesignfortheRoyalInnupahead.Hedidn’twanttohavehauledassthelastthirty-fivefuckingmilestogethere,thenditheraboutwhattodo.
“Plan,guys?”heshouted.“Weneedonenow,orI’mparkingthissuckerandbustinginthatdoor,gunsblazing.”
“Thenyou’llgetdead,”Axelpointedoutinannoyance.
Stoneshrugged.“IfitsavesLily,Idon’treallygiveashit.”
***
LILYcouldn’timagineaworsenightmare.Aguyshe’dalwaysthoughtofasafriendandbigbrothermeanttokillher.No,notjustkillher.Violateherineverypossibleway,thencutherintotinyribbonsandletherbleedoutwhilehereveled.
“Ididn’tknowtheywerefollowingmewhenIwenttothewarehousethatday,Corey.Itriedtocallyouandaskyouwhatyouwantedmetodobut—”
ThesharprebukeonCorey’sfacetoldLilythatcastinganyblameonhimwouldonlymakeherdeathmoreharsh.
Didhefeelterribleguiltabouthissisterdyingbecausehe’dbeenstupidanddesperateenoughtogetintodealingdrugsforCanton?Becausehe’dtalkedtothepolice?Washeunabletohandletherealitythathe’dalsobeenatfault?Likely,whichwaswhyhefounditeasiertocastblameonthegirlwho’dinadvertentlygivenawayErin’shidingplace.
Coreyhadalwayshadaweakside,enjoyedusingdrugsmorethanfacingreality.He’dlefthismomandsistertofendforthemselvesoncethepolicehadreleasedhimafterhisarrest.HemusthaveknownwhenhetalkedtothecopsaboutCanton’soperationthatitwouldgetbacktotheviciousstreetboss.NowayCoreycouldn’tknowthatpunishmentwouldcome,swiftandsevere.
“Erinwasperfectlysafeuntilyoucamealong.I’llbettheythreatenedtocutthatbabyoutofyourbellyandkillyou,youdumbwhore.Iheardlaterthatyouhadastillborn.”Corey’slipsstretchedwide,somethingbiganduglythatcelebratedhertotaldevastation.“Couldn’thappentoamoredeservingbitch.AndwhenthepigscamelookingforyoubecauseyouknewsomethingaboutErin’smurder?IremindedoneofCanton’sunderlingsthatyourmomandlittlebrotherwerejustwaitingathomeandthatyoushouldbetaughtavaluablelessonaboutsilence.”
LilyshrankbackinherchairandstaredatCoreywithabsolutehorror.Atonetime,shewouldhavetrustedhimimplicitly.She’dsharedmealswithhim.Whenshe’dbeenpregnantandscared,he’dpromisedtoholdherhandinthedeliveryroom.Heck,he’donceevengivenhertheshirtoffhisbackafterherex-boyfriendhadrippedhersduringafight
Andnowhemeanttokillher.
Theshockofthatrippledthroughher.Foryears,she’dbeenimaginingthatCorey,likeher,struggledwithgrief.She’dalwayshopedshewouldseehimsomeday,whenshegotthecouragetogobacktoCalifornia,visiteveryone’sgraves,andmakepeacewiththepast.She’dpicturedrunningintoCoreyandfinallysharinghersorrowwiththeonlyotherpersonshe’dbeenclosetowho’dalsolovedErinunconditionally.
“Theywereinnocent!”sheprotested.
“Sowasmysister.Ineverysenseoftheword.ImadesurenoonetouchedErinandknockedherup,likeyou.TheonepersonItrusted,thegirlIthoughtwouldalwayshaveherback.Youcunt.Yousacrificedhertosaveyourownskin.”Heloomedoverhermenacinglyandraisedthebackofhishandtoherface.“Ishouldhaveseenyouforthecowardlytraitoryouare.”
Thoughsheknewitwasfutile,Lilycouldn’thelpherself.EvenifCoreyneverbelievedheranditdidn’tsaveherlife,heneededtohearthewords.Shehadtotellhertruth.
“Ididn’ttrademysafetyforhers,”sheinsisted.Buthe’dclearlyexpectedhertochooseherbestfriend’slifeoverherownandherbaby’s.Wouldshehavemadethatchoice?Couldshe?Evenbeforegoingintolabor,herinstincttoprotectReginahadbeenunshakable.ButCoreyblamedherwhenhehadn’tstayedaroundtoprotectthosemostvulnerableinhislife.He’dgoneintohidingandsavedhimself.
“You’reafuckingliar,”hegrowled.
Lilyshookherhead.“Mafiafollowedmeafterschool.ItoldhimIdidn’tknowanythingbutErinwaslikemysister,too.MaybeIshouldhaveguessedthattheywouldn’tbelieveme.Butyoudidn’thangaroundtoprotecther.Youleftherattheirmercy.Youlefthertodie.”Tearstrembledatherlashline,threateningtospill.
“Shutthefuckup,”Coreysnarled,lookingreadytocommitmurderrightnow.
“No.”Ifshewasgoingtodieanyway,shewasgoingtogeteverythingoutintheopen.“IlovedErin.Imourned.Istillmisshereveryday,alongwiththerestofmyfamily.HavingthemtakenfrommeleftaholeinmychestIcanneverfill.ThelastconversationIhadwithmymomwasanuglyfight,andnowIwillneverbeabletorepairit.Youtookthatfromme.”
Evenifhermomhadwashedherhandsofheronlydaughterandhadn’tknownhowtomotheraheadstronggirl,thewomanhadgivenbirthtoher,fedher,probablyevenlovedheratsomepoint.Sheandherbrotherhadbeensuperclose.Andtheywerebothlosttoherforeverbecauseofthisman.
“Ican’tbelieveyousuggestedtheirmurdertoCanton.”Shestaredathimlikethemonsterhe’dbecome.“Whathappenedtoyou?”
“Isaid,shutthefuckup.”Coreyflushedwithfurybeforehebackhandedheracrosstheface.
Lily’sheadsnappedtooneside.Hercheekexploded.Painbloomed.Shetastedbloodonhertongue.
Noneofthatwasgoingtostopher.
“No.Youfuckinglisten,”sheshotback.“NotonlydidIloseErin,youtookwhatwasleftofmyfamily.Thenmybabygirldied.ImagineIsabelslippingawaybeforeyou’devengottentoholdher.IclutchedRegina’scorpsewrappedinapinkblanketforfiveminutesbeforetheytookherfromme.IalreadylovedhersomuchandIcriedbecauseshewouldneverknowmeatall.Sohowdareyouthinkyouweretheonlyonetosuffer?”
AnguishandterrorsteamrolledLily,crushingherheartalreadybruisedbytheseemingbetrayalshe’denduredfromStoneandeveryoneshe’dmetsincemovingtoDallas.Thetearsshe’dshoveddowninsideherfortoomanyyearsstunghereyes,nearlyclosedherthroat.Theyrose,refusingtobedenied,andbegantofall.Coreywouldseethemasaweaknessoraplea,andshedidn’tcare.Theywerehertributetothoseshe’dloved,theproofshewasstillhumanandcared.Theywerehealing.
Evenifshedidn’thavethechancetoshedanymoretearsbeforedeathandnooneelsesawthem,she’dknowshe’dfinallyletgoofthepainandgriefandfearthathadheldherbackforsevenbleakyears.Shereleaseditallandsobbed.Thehottearslashingherfacefeltlikethemostlovely,delicatepain.Withherhandsbound,shecouldn’twipethemaway—andshedidn’twantto.Sheletthemflow,feltthedamofsomuchlatentgriefrelease.Terribletimeforthisemotionalbreakthrough.Butthenagain,despiteherbestefforts,shemightnothaveatomorrow.
Asshetastedthesaltofhertears,shewishedStonecouldseehernow.Evenifhedidn’tloveher,he’dcaredatleastalittle,right?He’dlookedafterherinsomanyways.He’dbeproudthatshe’dfinallyfreedheranguish.
“TheheartbreakIfeltoverherlossalmostkilledme,”Lilychoked.“Inaweek,everyoneIhadevercaredaboutdiedordisappeared.Iwasshockedandalone.AndyetIstillworriedaboutyou.Ieventriedtofindyou.Andallthewhile,youwereindictingmeinyourmind,decidingthatI’dcommittedsomethingliketreasonandIdeservedtortureanddeath.Allofthis—Erin’sdeath,yourmisery,mymisery—it’syourdoing.”
Thiswastherealbetrayalinherlife,Lilyrealized.NotStone’s.Coreybefriendingher,seemingtocareabouther,beingcloseenoughtoshareapastandsecrets—thenplottingtoharmherafterthey’destablishedtrustandaffection.WhatStonehaddone,agreedtoadealthatexchangedhertestimonyforhisfreedom,he’ddonebeforehetrulyknewher.Peoplesometimesfoundthemselvesforcedtomakedifficultchoices.Thosedecisionsdefinedwhotheywereaspeople,themoralmakeupoftheircharacter.Coreyhadprovenhiswaseveryinchrotten.Heblamedeveryoneelseforthemisfortunehe’dbegun.Lilydidn’tcompletelyblamehimfordealingdrugs.He’dhadsofewchoicesasakidtryingtokeeparoofoverhisfamily’sheadandfoodintheirmouths.ButforleavingthemtofendforthemselveswhenCantonhadturnedhisvengefulheatonthem?Yeah,nooneelsewastoblamemoreinthissituationthanCorey.
“Oh,boohoo,”Kevmocked.
“Shutthefuckup,”Dansneered.
“Ican’tlistentoyouwhineanymore,”Coreygrowled.“We’regettingstartednow.AndthefirstthingI’mcuttingoutisyourtongue.”
“Sweetheart,”Emmaventured.“Beforeyougettoobusy,JacindahasCantonintheroomdownstairs.Ithinkshe’scurrentlyblowinghim,butifyouwanttodrughimsowecanhavefunwithhimlater…”
“Youdidn’tdoit?”
“Yousaidyouwantedto.”
Coreysighedwithimpatienceandshovedafallofdarkhairoutofhisface.“Damnit.Allright.”
“Hey,I’llgo,”Kevvolunteered,hisbrowswagglinginaleer.“Iwanttoseehowhotmywomanlooksgivingthisdudehead.Maybeshe’dbewillingtodousbothbeforewecuthisdickoffandblowhisbrainsout.”
“Goodthinking.”Coreynodded.“Whileyou’regone,we’llgetthisslutstrippedandtieddowntothebed.Sheneedstostartpaying.”
“I’llknockwhenI’mback.”Kevcrossedtheroom.
Emmafollowedhim,openingthedoorforhim.Lilylookedattheblueskyandthebeckoninggoldensunforthosefewpreciousseconds.Theotherwomandead-boltedthedoorbehindhim,shuttingLilyinthedarkagainwitharoomfulofpsychos.
Hertearshadslowed.Shefeltcleansed.Andreadytofight.Ifshedidn’tsucceed…well,shewasalsoreadytofacewhatevercamenext.
AsEmmacrossedtheroom,sheliftedherfacetoCoreyforakiss.Heslippedoffhisshoesandabsentlybrushedapeckonhiswaitingwife’slips,liketodaywasanormaldayforanaveragemarriedcouple.
HeandDanwouldsoondetachherfromthechairtomovehertothemattress,andLilyknewthatmightbeheronlyopportunitytoescape.Shestudiedtheroomagain.Thedoorwasagoodsixorsevenstepsaway.Kevhadlongerlegsandithadtakenhimfourtoreachthehandle.Herpursefellintoasimilarcategory.Abitcloser,butmaybetoofartorunbeforesomeonecaughther.Thatmeantshewasgoingtohavetofightherwayoutofthisroomwithherbarehandsifshewantedtosurvive.
Andshedid—soverymuch.Notjustbecausetheimperativetolivebeatstronginherchestandracedfastthroughherveins.Shewantedmorefromlife.Tolaughandcryandlove.ShewantedtoseeStone,tellhimsheforgavehim.Andshehopedheunderstood.Shewantedtoseeiftheycouldhavesomethingrealifshegavehimherall.Couldheeverloveher,ashe’dclaimed?Sheachedtotouchhim,yearnedtosharetomorrowwithhim.Andsomeday,godwilling,shewantedtohaveanotherbaby.
AsEmmasatontheotherbed,shestaredraptly,readytowatchtheliverapeandmurderasifitwereapay-per-viewevent.CoreycameatLilywiththeshears.Hesnippedthemafewtimesinherface,laughingwhensheshrankbackinvoluntarily.Thensheforcedherselftostopreacting,startplanning.
Thenightstandwiththerestofthosegleamingsharpimplementswasmaybethreestepsaway.Stillfarbutherbestbet.She’dhavetofindsomevulnerablespotonCorey’sbodyandhithimbeforetheygothertothebed.Thejuvenilehadn’tarrivedyet.Kevandhisconsiderablemusclewouldonlybegoneafewminutes.Shecouldn’tassumethatStoneoranyoneelsecouldfindherhere,nomatterhowhardtheymighttry.
Itwasnowornever.
LilyswallowedasCoreycutthroughtheziptiesecuringherleftankletothechair.Hemadequickworkoftherestraintholdingherleftwrist,thentossedtheshearstoDan,whodidthesameonherrightside.Together,theyhoistedhertoherfeet.
Coreywrenchedherarmbehindherback,untilshegaspedandstoodonhertiptoestopreventhimfromdislocatinghershoulderorbreakingherarm.“Don’ttryanything.”
Orwhat?Healreadymeanttorapeandkillher.Frankly,hecouldn’tthreatenherwithmuchworse.Shemightaswellriskitall.
Squeezinghereyesshutandsayingaprayer,shepretendedtoloseherbalanceandtoppledforward.Coreyautomaticallyreachedouttocatchher.Beforehecouldshoveherbacktoherfeet,Lilybitthefleshyinsideofhisbicepsandclampeddownwithherteethashardasshepossiblycould.Almostinstantly,shetastedhiscopperyblood.
Hesnappedhisarmbacktodislodgeherholdandglancedattheredindentationsofhiswound.“Bitch.”
Butshewasn’tlisteningtohim.Shewaslungingforthenightstand,tryingnottostumble.ShebarelymanagedtosnatchupKev’sbigserratedblade.LilyknewsheonlyhadafractionofasecondtowhirltoherleftandhopefullyplantthisbladeinCorey’sbelly.Butshe’dfallentoofarforwardandcouldn’tquitegetherbalancequickenoughtoturnanddefendherself.Instead,whenshearcedthebladethroughtheair,shemissedCoreyaltogether.
Onherright,Danleaptontothebedandcameatherinafulltackle.Lilyscreamedandmanagedtosidestephimatthelastinstant,gratifiedwhenhefellbetweenthetwobedsandhithiskneeonthebaseofthenightstandwithathud.Infeinting,sheranrightintoEmma,whoshriekedandtriedtoscrambleaway.
CoreylatchedontoLily’sleftwristandstartedtugging.Thistime,shewasready,twistingaroundtoslashthebladedownathim.Sheslicedthroughhisforearm.Adeepwoundopened.Bloodwelledquicklyandflowedfromthegash.
“Whatthefuck?”heroaredandreleasedhertoclaphishandoverthewound,glaringatherasifshehaddonetheunthinkable.“Oh,that’sit,bitch.IfKevdoesn’tgethereinthenexttwominuteshe’sgoingtomissyourlastgasp.”
Lilydidn’tdoubtthathemeanteveryword.
Whenhelungedforheragain,shewentfortheweaklink,rollingontothebedandscramblingbehindEmma.Thewomanlookedoverhershoulderleftandright,screechingwildly,asshetriedtoseethethreattohersafety.DanjumpedforLilyagaintoo,andsheknewshedidn’thavetimetobepoliteorgentle.Emmacertainlyhadn’tbeeneitherofthosewithher.Neitherwouldthesemen.SoLilygrabbedthewoman’slongponytailandtuggedhard,exposingherthroat.Inthenextbreath,sheputtheblade,stillwetandredwithCorey’sblood,againstit.AdropfellontoEmma’sbreastandrolledintoherpinktanktop.
CoreyandDanbothfroze.
“Leaveheroutofthis.Shehasnothingtodowiththisshit,”Coreygratedout.
“I’mstillbreastfeeding!”Emmashrieked.
Lilyignoredher.“Ihadnothingtodowithanyofthisshit,either.Justbecauseyoudon’twanttopayforyoursinsdoesn’tmeanIwill.Willyoumakeyourwifepay,youselfishbastard?Thenmournherlossandblamemeforwieldingtheblade?Yeah,you’rethekindofcowardwhowould,withoutadmittingthatIwouldn’thavebeenheretosliceherthroatopenifyouhadn’tplottedyourridiculousrevengeinthefirstplace.”
“StepawayfrommywifeandIwon’tkillyou.”Coreytriedtobarter.
Obviouslyhethoughtshewasstupid.“Nothappening.EmmaandIaregoingtobackoutoftheroomandleave.Ifyoumakeamoveinmydirection,I’llsliceherinhalf.”
Lilywasn’tsureshecouldactuallydoit,butshehadtoatleastthreatenandbluff.Andiftheworsthappened,shewouldhavetotry.ShewouldalsohavetohopethatKevwasn’tonhiswaybackupandthathisjuviefrienddidn’tshow.Withluck,maybesomelaw-abidingcitizenwouldseeherfleeingforherlifeandofferaid.
Neithermansaidanythingrightaway,justlookedatherwithwary,worriedeyes.FinallyDansteppedforward.“I’lltakeherplace.Letmysistergo,andyoucantakemehostage.”
“Soyoucanfightbackandtrytomanhandleoroverpowerme?No.Standup,bitch.”LilygaveEmmaatasteofherownmedicine.
Withahigh-pitchedwhine,theblonderosetoherfeetonshakinglegs.“Don’thurtme.”
Lilyscoffed.“IfIhadpleadedforyourmercytenminutesago,youwouldhavelaughed.Luckilyforyou,I’mnotbitterorbloodthirsty.I’malsonotstupidenoughtoloveamancapableofcold-bloodedrapeandmurderorpsychoenoughtoencouragehim.AsfarasI’mconcerned,yougetwhat’scomingtoyou.ButIdon’thaveanyinterestinhurtingyouunlessyouforceme.Now,we’rewalking…”
AsLilysidesteppedtowardthedoor,shedraggedEmmaandkeptherbacktothewall.Herhostageservedasabufferbetweenherandthetwomenwatchinghereverymove.
Theynearedthedoor.Emmastumbled,herfeettrippingovereachother.Onpurpose?
Lilycaughtthewomanwithherfreehand.“Becareful.Thisknifeisawfullysharpandyouwouldn’twantmetocutyoubyaccident,wouldyou?”
“No.No.No,”Emmapanted,herheartbeatingsoharditwasawondereveryoneintheroomcouldn’thearit.
AsLilytuggedhernearthedoor,shereachedforthedeadboltandunfastenedit;thenshegrabbedthehandletothedoorwithshakingfingers.Anervoussweatsprangupalloverherbody.Anxietystungherveins.Herheartbeatgongedinherhead.Freedomwasso,soclose.
Beforeshecouldopenthedoor,sheheardcardoorsslaminthemotel’sparkinglot.Onemanshouted,thesoundprimalanddisruptive.Anotheryelledbackanobscenitythatmadeherjawdrop.Secondslater,someonefiredagun.
Everyoneinthemotelroomfroze,evenLily.
“Wait.Don’t…”Coreyinstructed,evenpleadingalittle.“Idon’tknowwho’sshootingouttherebutthat’snooneIknow.Dan,lookoutthewindow,willyou?”
LilythoughtaboutobjectingbutdecidedifEmma’sbrotherwaspeeringoutsideatwhatevermayhemwasgoingonintheparkinglot,hewasn’tpayingattentiontoher.Still,shekeptsharpincasethiswassomesortoftrick.
Danrubbedathiskneewherehe’dhititasheclimbedbackoverthebed,sendinghissisteraconcernedglance.Shewhimpered.Boy,forawomanwho’dbeensoeagertoseehersexuallyassaultedandrippedtoshreds,Emmasurehadturnedmousyandsqueamishatthefirstsignthatshewasindanger.
“Goon,”LilyorderedDanwhenheedgedtooclosetohissister.Shedrewtheknifetighteragainstthewoman’sthroat.
CoreysteppedintothespacebetweenthebedsandglancedoutasDandrewthedrapeasideandscowled.“Fiveguysouttherefighting.Oh,thatlookedlikeahellofapunch.”
“Whoarethey?Canyoutellwhythey’refighting?”Coreydemanded.
“Idon’tknow.”Danshookhishead,leaningclosertothedirtyglass.“Theyaren’tpunkswearingcolorsoranything.”
“Whohasthegun?”Coreyasked.
Dancockedhisheadandfrownedasiftryingtodecipherthesceneintheparkinglot.Hedrewinabreathasifhemeanttoanswer.
Somethingstruckthewindow.Withaloudthump,itcrackedthepane.Thesoundofshatteringglassfilledtheroom.Theshardsfell.ThenDancrumbled,fallingonthebednearestthewindow.
Withabulletholerightbetweenhisshockinglypaleeyes.
Emmascreamed.“Dan.Dan!Ohmygod…”
ButDandidn’tanswer.Hewasnevergoingto.Hewasdead.
“Jesus!”Coreyblinked.“Whatthefuck?”ThenheturnedanevilglareLily’sway.“Youdidthis.Somehow.Whatdidyoudo?”
“Me?”Lily’sheartlurched.Shehadnoideawhowasoutthere,firing.Thatshotcouldn’thavebeenanaccident.Someonemusthavebeenwaiting.Asniper?Friendorfoe?
Atthispoint,diditmatter?Coreyabsolutelymeanttokillher.Themenintheparkinglotmightormightnot.Lilywouldtakethoseodds.
WhenCoreychargedtowardher,sheloweredtheknifeandshovedEmmainhisdirection.Hiswifestumbledintohim,andhewasforcedtocatchher.Lilydidn’tstaytowatchwhathappenednext.Shewrenchedthedooropen,thefight-or-flightresponsesearingherveinswithadrenaline.Sunlightrushedin,goldenwarmthandblueskieswrappingaroundherasshedartedoutoftheterriblelittlemotelroomwithacry.
Overthesecondstoryrailing,shespottedfamiliarfacesintheparkinglot.HunterEdgingtonandJackColebothcrouchedbehindtheopendoorsofStone’sbigblackpickup,weaponsvisiblethroughthewindows.Policesirenssuddenlywailed,splittingthesleepyairofsmall-townpeace,comingcloserwitheachsecond.LoganEdgingtondartedtotheedgeoftheparkinglottomeetthem.
Axelsprintedacrosstheexpanseofblacktoptowardher.“SweetPea!”
Ashedisappearedundertheoverhangwherethestairsoriginatednearthefirst-floorrooms,sheran—towardfreedom,afamiliarfacesheknewrepresentedsafety.
Butshewantedtheonewhomadeheracheforloveanddevotionandforever.ShewantedStone.Wherewashe?
Sheheardpoundingfootstepsascendingthestairsinafull-outrun,justabouttohitthesecondfloor.Axelcouldn’thavereachedherthatquickly.Hadhecalledouttoherbecausehe’dbeentryingtowarnherthattheviolentjuvenilehadarrived?OrthatKevwascomingforher?
Knifeinhand,Lilycrouchedinafightingstance,readytodefendherselftothedeath.She’djustoutwittedtwomenwillingtodoherin.Bygod,she’dtakeonanother.She’dneverbeavictimagain.Sheintendedtodowhatevernecessarytoprotectherself,seejusticedone,andputeveryoneofthosefuckingbastardsinthegroundorinprison.
Instead,anearlyshavedheademerged,followedbyabelovedface,thenthebroadestshouldersandawidechestshe’dcradledherheadagainstduringsomeofthebestnightsofherlife.Tightabsripplingbeneathit,hisgrayT-shirtpoppedintoview.Heheldaguninonehand,sprinting,hislegspumpingwildlytoreachher.“Baby!”
Reliefswelledinsideher.
“Stone,”shesobbedhisnameasshedroppedtheknife.Itclatteredtothegroundassherandownthestairs,armsoutstretched,tomeethimhalfway.
Shethrewherselfintohisembrace,crashingintothesolidcradleofhischest,againsthisthumpingheart.Tearsstreameddownherface,stemmingfromherheartandwrenchingherinsidesout.
“I’vegotyou,”hevowed.“Ialwayswill.Iloveyou.”
He’dcomeforher.Andshesworetogodthatshe’dneverletanythingoranyonetearthemapartagain.
“Fuckingbitch!”Coreyroaredfromtheupperlevelaboveandbehindher.“You’regoingtodie!”
She’dbarelyheardthewordsandprocessedthembythetimeStonehadraisedhisgunandpulledthetrigger.
Herheartlurchedasshegaspedandwhirledtomeetthethreat.ButCoreywasalreadycrumplingtotheconcretewalkwayabove,hisgunclatteringtothegroundwithhim.Thenhelayunmoving,hisbloodsplatteredwidearoundhisstillbody.
“Fuckyou,”Stonequipped.“Who’sthebitchnow?”
ChapterTwenty
BOUQUETofflowersinhand,Lilypushedopenthewroughtirongatetothecemetery.God,shecouldn’tbelieveshewashere,finallyabouttoseethegravesofallherlovedonesforthefirsttime.
TheSouthernCaliforniaskywinkedblueandhot,butthegentlebreezecarryingtheairinlandfromtheoceanmadeitsomewhatbearable.
She’doncebelongedinthiscitybutnomore.Notthatshemissedthesticky-hothumidityoftheTexassummers,butafterweeksoftalkingtobothBankheadandthefedsaboutthedrug-traffickingcasependingagainstCanton,aswellastheLACountyDistrictAttorneyaboutthevariousmurdersandassortedcrimeshe’dcommitted,Lilyfiguredhe’dbegoingdownforalongtime.She’dneededtoconsenttotestify—forErin,herfamily,evenforReginainaweirdway.Herdaughtermaynotbeheretorealizethathermomhaddecidedtodotherightthing,butsomehowLilyhopedthegirlwatchedfromabovewithpride.
Mostespecially,sheneededtoagreetotestifyforStone.
Lastnight,she’dspokentoSeanonthephone.He’dexplainedtheFBIinvestigationtakingplaceandherroleinit.He’dapologizedforhelpingtoorchestratetheplottostrong-armhertestimony.Thorpehadhoppedonthephonenextandfollowedsuit.AndsinceDominion’sownerandresidentbadassneverapologizedgracefullytoanyoneforanything,especiallyinsuchaheartfeltvoice,Lilyrealizedtheyweresimplymenwhohadmadeamistake.Herheartwelledbecausethey’dmadeherfeellikeanimportantpartoftheclubandthetight-knitcommunityofitsmembers.
Whenshe’dfirstlearnedoftheir“perfidy,”she’dbeensofuriousatthemformakingdecisionsthataffectedtherestofherlifewithoutconsultingher.ButnowthatOne-MilehadexecutedDanfromtheroofofthechurchacrossfromthatskeevymotel,Coreywasdead,hismomextraditedfromCanada,EmmaandKevbehindbars,babyIsabelinCPScustody,andCantonpotentiallyinforalifelongprisonsentence,Lilyunderstoodthatwiththepastobstructingherfuture,she’dbeengoingnowhere,doingnothing,committingherselftonoone.
Everythinghadchangednowthatshe’dmadepeacewithherbleakteenageyears.Shecouldn’tchangethemorwashthemaway.Shecouldonlyacceptthem,embracethem,andunderstandtheywereapartofwhoshe’dbecome.
Herphone,whichshe’dtuckedintothepocketofherpolka-dotshirtwaistdress,buzzed.Axelhadtextedheralink,ostensiblytoastoryfromamajornewswebsite.Sheclickeditandhadtorepresstears.Itseemedasifshecriedallthetimenow.Afteryearsofbeingunabletoexpresshersorrow,nowsheoverflowed.Andgod,shefeltsomuchbetter.
Thearticlepoppeduponherbrowser.MoreofCanton’svictimswerecomingforward.Morepeoplehe’dbeaten,raped,swindled—alltooterrifiedtosayanythinginthepast.AtremuloussmilewobbledacrossLily’smouth.Onceshe’dbeenbraveenoughtotellthetruth,othershadfollowedsuit—somewithvideoevidence.TheDAwastakingalloftheirstatementsandcompilingonebig,longlistofCanton’scrimes.Gorydetailshadbeensplashedacrossthenewsineverymedium.He’dbeendeniedbailbythejudgebecausehe’dbeendeemedbothdangerousandaflightrisk.
Subsequently,hehaddeclinedtorunforgovernorofCalifornia.
Lilyhadbeenjustaboutreadytoclickherphoneoffwhenitvibrated,lowandrhythmic,indicatingshehadacall.Sheglancedatthedisplaythatpoppedupandsmiled.“Hi,Axel.”
“Hi,SweetPea.Andyes,I’llprobablyalwayscallyouthat.”
Shelaughed.“ThorpeandSeando,too.Ikindoflikeitnowthaty’allknowmyrealname.”Thenicknamethatusedtobeameansofhidinghadnowbecomeasweetendearment.
“SorryI’vebeenoutofpocketbutI’vebeenwonderinghowyouare.It’sgoodtofinallytalktoyou,”hesaid.
Lilysmiledatthesoundofhisvoice.“I’mfine.Don’tworryaboutme.You’vegotaweddingtoplan.”
“I’muptomyeyeballsinlaceandtuxedosbutit’sgood.”Hepaused.“Howdoesitfeeltobeyouagain?”
Interesting.SinceLilyhadcomebacktoheroldneighborhoodoverthepastfewweeks,she’dencounteredsomanypeopleshe’dknownasakid.Somewerescrapingby,tryingtoraisetheirownkids.Somewerebehindbars.Othershadbecomedrugaddicts.Ahandfulwerealreadydeadandburied.Insomeways,Lilyfeltfortunatetohavesteppedoutoftheshadowofthisawfulbarriowithitsmediocreschoolsandparentstooinvolvedintheirownjobs,addictions,orhookupstocareabouttheirkids.She’dseenawholenewwayoflifesinceleavinghere.She’dexperiencedawholenewsortoffamily—thekindshechose.
“Let’ssayI’mnotmovingback.ButIranintoRickMensell,myfirstboyfriend.”
“Theguywhoknockedyouupandwalkedout?”Axelgrowled.
“Yeah,”shesaidsadly.“Iactuallythinkthatkindofmessedhimup.Hemarriedrightoutofhighschoolbecausehisgirlfriendatthetimegotpregnant.Shehadamiscarriage.Theydivorced.Heneverhadmorekids.Hesayshegotavasectomyattwenty-fivebecausehedidn’tthinkhecouldgothroughthepainoflosingachildagain.”
True,hehadn’tbeenbyhersideforRegina’sbirthordeath,buthesaidhevisitedhergraveprettyregularly.Lilysupposedeveryonegrievedanddealtintheirownway.
“Iwouldsayheprobablydidtheworldafavorsincehedidn’thandlehisresponsibilitieswellbeforebut—”
“Let’snotgothere.It’sdone,buried,past.I’llalwaysbesad,butI’myoung.I’mrecovering,thanksinparttoyou.”
Hesighed,hisvoicelowandfullofregret.“Itriedtodomybestbyyou.”
“Oh,youdidsomuchmorethananyoneshouldexpect.”He’dlovedhermorelikeapalandhadbeenhappytowatchoverher.Buthehadn’tbeeninlovewithherandhehadn’tbeeninterestedinhersexually.Butwhenshe’dneededtobeheldandfeellikeawoman,he’dgivenherthesortofsexthatwascountertohisnatureinvirtuallyeveryway,justtohelphealherandbuildherup.Mostpeoplewouldn’tunderstand,butLilydid.Andshecouldn’thaveaskedforabetterprotectorandfriend.
“Iwishithadbeenmore.”
“Itwasplentyandthensome.Inpart,becauseofyou,Ihavehopeforthefuture.”Andthatwasallshewantedtosayaboutthatorshe’dstartcryingagain.Shesniffledandmanagedtoholdtherestback.“Speakingofwhich,howmuchlongerwillyoubeinLondon?”
“Foranotherfewweeks.MarshallwantsMysteryandmetoattendsomeroyalfreakingballthat’sbeingheldinhishonor,”Axelsaidofhisfiancée’sfather.“Afterthat,we’llbebackinDallas,hopefullyforgood.You?”
“Soon,Ithink.Itwilltakeawhileforallthetrialstogetunderwayhere.Iexpecttobeflyingbackandforth.Butthat’sokay.Someday,itwillallbeoverand…I’llputitbehindmeforever.”
“HasStonereachedouttoyou?”
Theonebleakspotinherlifenow.“No.It’sbeenalmosttwoweeks.LastIheard,he’sstillwiththefeds.I’veleftacoupleofmessages…”
Butmaybehedidn’twanttospendhislifewithherafterall.Maybehe’dputabulletinCoreysimplytoendhismiserablelifeandprotecther.ThenStonehadheldherafterwardbecausehefeltsorryforher.Twoweeksago,shewouldhaveneverbelievedthat.Today,shedidn’tknowwhatelsetothink.
“He’llcomeforyou,SweetPea,”Axelswore,hisvoicedeepwithgravity.“ImighthavesteppedintheshitandgivenhimahardtimewhenIracedouttotheswampthatmorning,butIfiguredoutduringyourrescuethathelovesyousomethingfierce.The‘fight’intheparkinglotofthemotel?Thatdistractionwashisideatogetyouout.Ifitdidn’twork,hewasgoingtobustinsideandrescueyou.Andprobablygethimselfkilled.”
Lilydidn’tknowwhattosay.“He’sagoodguy.Hewouldn’thavewantedanyonetodiethewayCoreyhadplannedforme.”
“Don’tbestubborn,”Axelchided.“StonereallyhadcalledoffthedealwiththefedsbeforeI’dbustedintoJack’scabinallfullofmyrighteousself,justlikeheclaimed.”
Thattookherbysurprise.“Stonewastellingthetruth?”
Lilyalmosthatedthehopehiswordsgaveherbutsheneededitsobadly.Sheachedforhim,yearnedforthepromiseofthosetomorrowshe’doncesaidhewantedtosharewithher.Sheknewcommittingtoeachotherwasnoguaranteeofhappiness—butitwouldbesuchalovelystart.
“Yeah.”Axelsighed.“Hewouldhaveputdownhislifeforyou,walkedthroughfire,conqueredhell.Whateverittooktokeepyoualive.Youdeservethat.”
Shetearedupagainanddidn’tholdanythingback.“You’remakingmecry,damnit.”
“Good.You’veneededarealcryforalongtime.Butdon’tworry.He’llcomeforyou.AndyouknowI’mhereanytimeyouneedme.Justaphonecallaway.”
“You’rethebestfriendagirlcouldwant.Thankyouforeverything.IcanneverrepayyouexceptbysayingthatIcanstandonmyowntwofeetfromnowon.AndI’llbeyourrockifyoueverneedit.”
“Iknowyou’remorethancapable.Bye,SweetPea.”
“Bye.”Shesniffledagainandpocketedherphone.
Damnit,sheneededtostartcarryingapursewithtissues.TheTechnicolorworldofemotionwasnew,andshedidn’talwaysfinditeasytoprocessbutdamn…Lifefeltsomuchricherwhenshestoppedwallowinginguiltandgriefandtriedtoappreciateeverydayandthepeopleinit.Fromnowon,untilshedrewherlastbreath,she’dneverstoplivingthatway.
Whenshebrushedthelatestbatchoftearsdry,sheapproachedErin’sgraveanditssimpleheadstoneandplacedsomeofherflowersintheholder.ShehopedthatsomewhereupthereErincouldforgiveherforbeingcareless.Andthatherbestiecouldforgiveherbrotherforbeingmiredinanguishandlettingitcloudhisjudgment.
“Imissyou,”shetoldherbestfriend.“Weshouldstillbeholdinghandsandtellingsecretsandlaughingaboutstupidmovies.ButIwon’tstopthinkingaboutyou.Ever.”
Lilylaidherhandonthetopoftheheadstoneandcaressedit,hopingthatErincouldfeelherregretandaffection.
Moretearsflowedasshemadeherwayafewrowsdowntoherfamily,buriedsidebyside.Hermotherhadonlybeenthirty-eight.She’dlivedterriblyanddiedfast.She’dbeenakidtryingtoraiseachildinableaksituation.Lilydidn’tblameherforheranger,desperation,choices,andcopingmechanisms.She’donlybeenhuman,too.Shewishedshe’dunderstoodthewomanbetter,butmaybewithageandwisdom,shecould.Ormaybeinanotherlife.
Lilylaiddownfreshflowers.“IhopeI’mmakingyouproudnow.I’llalwaystry,Mom.Ihopeyou’reuptherefinallyrestingandsmilinginpeace.”
Thenshesteppedovertoherbrother.Bradyhadbeensoyoung.He’dhadnowayofunderstandingtheterribleviolencethathadendedhislifewithsuchfrighteningfinality.
“Hey,BradyBoy.”Hehadn’twantedhertocallhimthatinpublic,butathome,he’dlikedituntilthedayhe’dbeentakenfromher.Shelaiddownflowers,onewithafluffyteddybearattached.Itwasprobablysomethingmosttwelve-year-oldswouldn’tadmittostillliking,butBradyhadlovedhisstuffedanimals.“Ibroughtyoualittlesomethingtoplaywith.Ihopeyou’vefoundsoccerballsandvideogamesinheaven,too.Youdeservethem.I’msosorrythoseterriblemenhurtyouandforthewayyoudied.YoucankickmybuttwhenIgetuptheresomeday,huh?Untilthen,maybeyoucanforgiveme?”
Ofcourse,hedidn’tanswer,butthewindblew,brushingherskinalmostlikeacaress,asifshecouldfeelherbrother’shandonhershoulderlettingherknowhewasallright.MaybeLilywasthinkingwishfully,butBradyhadbeenagoodkidandakindsoul.She’dlovedhim.“YouandMomtakecareofeachotheruntilIcangetbackheretovisitagain,okay?”
Thatansweringbreezekickeduponcemore,andshesmiled,feelingmoreatpeacethanshehadinoverhalfadozenyears,maybeever.
Nowcamethehardpart.
Lilyclutchedthelastoftheflowersandmadeherwaytothecornerofthegraveyard.SheknewwheretofindRegina.She’dmadecontactwiththecemeteryacoupleofweeksagoandreceivedamap.Shewaslateinvisitingherlovedonesbutshehopedtheycouldforgiveher.Shewasfinallylearningtoforgiveherself.
Whenshereachedthecorner,climbingivyandbougainvilleafilledintheslatsofthefencewiththeirgorgeousgreenery.Anearbywillowbentprotectivelyoverherbaby’sgrave,leavesswayinggently,almostlikeaneternalmobile.
Shealsosawanunexpectedsight.AgleamingwhiteheadstonemarkedRegina’sfinalrestingplace.Besideitstoodamansofamiliar,herstomachclenched.Herheartswooned.Hadhearrangedthebigmarblemonumentforherdaughter?
“Hi,baby,”Stonesaidquietly,turningandreachingouthishandforher.
“Youfoundme,”shesaidnumbly,thoughherheartpoundedinacrazy,thumpingrhythm.
“Ialwayswill.Comehere.”
Sheslippedherhandinhisandpeeredupintohisdarkeyes.Helookedtiredandnervousbutsoincrediblywonderfulinasimplegraysuitandasolemnexpression.“You’rereallyhere.”
“AndI’mnotleavingyou.ThefedsandIaregoodnow.BecauseitlookslikeCantonisgoingawayforalongtimeandIhelped,theyagreedtocommutemysentence.I’mafreeman—andonlyinpartbecauseI’mnotgoingbacktoprison.Yougavemeawholenewpathinlife.Youshowedmealoveworthfightingfor.”
Lilyshookherhead,smilingatthegreatnews.“Ithinkyou’retheonewhotaughtmehowtolookpastmyfears.I’msorryIyelledandIaccused.AndIleft.”
“I’dhelpyoutwentytimesoverifIcould.I’ddoanythingforyou.”Hegaveherasmallsmile.“Icalledmydadtoday.Wemadepeace.Itwas…surrealandalittleawkwardbutnice.”
“That’sfantastic.I’mreallyhappyforyou.Ithinkyouneededtheclosure.”
“Yeah.We’regoingtotrytotalkmore,maybegettogethersoon.Seehowitgoes.Webothhavesomeforgivingtodo.”
“Butthat’simportant.Helpful.Iknowit’sbeengoodforme.”Sheswallowed,noddingslowly.“Whatbringsyouhere?”
Hesqueezedherhandandlookeddownatthemarbleheadstone,engravedwithRegina’snameandababy’srattle.“Doyoulikeit?”
“It’sbeautiful.Youdidthatforher?”
Henodded.“Andforyou.”
Whenheraisedherhandtohislipsandkissedit,Lily’sheartnearlyexploded.Thetearsthatwereeverpresentthesedayssprangupagainandspilleddownhercheeks.Shelookedathim,completelybaringherloveforhiminhereyes.“Thankyou.That’sthemostamazingthinganyonehaseverdoneforme.”
“Iwanttodowonderfulthingsforyoufortherestofyourlife.”Heshovedhishandinhispocketandlookeddown,decidedlynervous.“I’mnotamanofflowerywordsandI’vefuckedupalotinmypast.Buteverymistakehasledmetoyou.IknowwhatI’vedonewrong.IknowwhatIwantforthefuture.Andbaby,IneverwouldhavecoercedyoutotestifyjustsoIcouldgetoutofprison,notonce—”
“Notonceyouknewme?Ifiguredthatout.”Shebarelysqueakedthewordsoutpasthercrying.“Axeltoldmethatyoureallyhadgivenupyourfreedombeforehebargedinatthecabin.ButIrealizedthatawfuldaywhenCoreyplottedtokillmethatIcouldn’tblameyouformakingthatdeal.Whenyoudidit,youdidn’tknowme.Ofcourseyouwantedfreedom.AndIshouldhavewantedtoputCantonawaybeforehecouldhurtanyoneelse.”
“KnowingyouchangedeverythingIfelt.Iswearit.”
“Ibelieveyou.”Shecaressedhisshoulderandsteppedcloser.“Iknowthekindofmanyouaredeepdown.Weallmakemistakes.Youmadeyoursyoung,likeIdid.Sincethen,you’vegrownintosomeonesowonderful.”
Stonegrabbedher,sweptherlipsunderhis,andheldhercloseastheyexchangedbreathsandsilentvows.Finally,hepulledaway.“Marryme?”
Shecuppedhischeek,feelingbothgiddyandhopeful.“Ineverwanttobewithanyoneelse.”
Forthefirsttimethatday,hegaveherawide,genuinesmile—andlitupherworld.Heshowedhercolorsoftheheartshehadn’tknownexistedbefore.Andshe’dalwaysbesothankfulforStone.
“That’sayes?”Helookedanxiousandhopeful.
“Abigyes.”Shemanagedagrin,thoughshecouldn’tseemtostopcrying.“Ahellyes.AnI-can’t-wait-to-be-with-youyes.”
Stonemanagedadeeplaughashepressedanotherkisstoherlips,thenpulledoutasimplesolitairesetinwhitegoldfromhispocketandslippeditonherfinger.Itfitperfectly.“Fortherecord,Iwasn’tlettingyougetawayagain.”
Lilylookeddownatthediamondwinkingonherfinger.“Iwasn’tplanningonwalkingawayanymore.You’restuckwithmeforever.”
“Ilikethesoundofthat.”Hewrappedhisarmsaroundherandheldherclose.
Hisheartbeatagainsthers.Lilybreathedinthemanwhohadbecomeherlife,herhope,herfuture.
“HowdidyouknowIwascomingtovisitRegina?”sheasked.
“Iknewyouneededtomakepeace.”Hissolemnexpressionofsupportalmostturnedherheartinsideout.“AndI’mstilltrackingyourphone.”
Shelaughedevenasmoretearsfell,butthesefelthappier.“Soyou’refreetostartanewlife?”
“Yeah.ButIhavethisbossinLafayette.He’sacrankyCajunwho’simpatienttohavemeback.Andagroupoffriendswhoapparentlydon’tmindhavingawildex-conaroundandwantmebackintown.You?”
“Ithink…Iwanttogetmarriedandhaveanotherbaby,thistimewiththemanIlove.Whatdoyouthink?”
“IlovethatplanandIloveyou,Lily.Ialwayshave.”Helookedintohereyes,focused,strong—allhers.“Ialwayswill.Let’sgohomeandstartournewlivestogether.Preferablynaked.”Hewinked.
Lilynoddedhappily,gratefully,asshelaidtheflowersdownonRegina’sgraveandblewherdaughterakiss.Shewouldforevermournthelittlegirl,andnobabywouldeverreplaceher,butsheknewshewouldlovethechildrensheandStonewouldhavesomedayandthatReginawouldsmiledownonthem.“I’dlovethat.”
Sheslippedherhandinhis,andtogethertheywalkedintotheirfuture.
WATCHFOR…HoldingonTighterAWICKEDLOVERSNOVELCOMINGFEBRUARY2017(HEATH’SSTORY!)
AbouttheAuthor
ShaylaBlackistheNewYorkTimesandUSATodaybest-sellingauthorofnearlyfiftynovels,includingtheWickedLoversseries(WickedforYou,HistoTake)and,withLexiBlake,thePerfectGentlemenseries(SeductioninSession,ScandalNeverSleeps).Formorethanfifteenyears,she’swrittencontemporary,erotic,paranormal,andhistoricalromancesviatraditional,independent,foreign,andaudiopublishers.Herbookshavesoldwelloveramillioncopiesandhavebeenpublishedinadozenlanguages.
Raisedasanonlychild,Shaylaoccupiedherselfwithlotsofdaydreaming,muchtothechagrinofherteachers.Incollege,shefoundherloveofreadingandrealizedthatshecouldhaveacareerpublishingthestoriesspinninginherimagination.Thoughshegraduatedwithadegreeinmarketing/advertisingandembarkedonastintincorporateAmericatopaythebills,herhearthasalwaysbeenwithhercharacters.She’sthrilledthatshehasbeenlivingherdreamasafull-timeauthorforthepastsevenyears.
ShaylacurrentlylivesinNorthTexaswithherwonderfullysupportivehusband,herteenagedaughter,andaveryspoiledcat.Inher“free”time,sheenjoysrealityTV,reading,listeningtoaneclecticblendofmusic,andplayingFallout4.ConnectwithShaylaviaherwebsite(www.ShaylaBlack.com),Facebook(ShaylaBlackAuthor),Instagram(shaylablack),orhernewsletter(http://bit.ly/SBNewsletter).
Lookingformore?VisitPenguin.comformoreaboutthisauthorandacompletelistoftheirbooks.Discoveryournextgreatread!TableofContents
PraisefortheNovelsofShaylaBlack
TitlesbyShaylaBlack
TitlePage
Copyright
Acknowledgments
Contents
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven
ChapterTwelve
ChapterThirteen
ChapterFourteen
ChapterFifteen
ChapterSixteen
ChapterSeventeen
ChapterEighteen
ChapterNineteen
ChapterTwenty
AbouttheAuthor