RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONERichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEAKingdomofFleshandFire
ABloodandAshNovel
ByJenniferL.Armentrout
Copyright2020JenniferL.Armentrout
ISBN:978-1-952457-10-4
PublishedbyBlueBoxPress,animprintofEvilEye
Concepts,Incorporated
Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybereproduced,
scanned,ordistributedinanyprintedorelectronicformwithoutpermission.
Pleasedonotparticipateinorencouragepiracyofcopyrightedmaterialsin
violationoftheauthor’srights.
Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,places,charactersand
incidentsaretheproductoftheauthor’simaginationandarefictitious.Any
resemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,eventsorestablishmentsis
solelycoincidental.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEBook
Description
AKingdomofFleshandFire
ABloodandAshNovel
JenniferL.Armentrout
From#1NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorJennifer
L.ArmentroutcomesanewnovelinherBloodandAshseries…
IsLoveStrongerThanVengeance?
ABetrayal…
EverythingPoppyhaseverbelievedinisalie,including
themanshewasfallinginlovewith.Thrustamongthosewhoseeherasa
symbolofamonstrouskingdom,shebarelyknowswhosheiswithouttheveilof
theMaiden.Butwhatshedoesknowisthatnothingisasdangerousto
herashim.TheDarkOne.ThePrinceofAtlantia.Hewantsherto
fighthim,andthat’soneordershe’smorethanhappytoobey.Hemayhave
takenher,buthewillneverhaveher.
AChoice….
CasteelDa’Neerisknownbymanynamesandmanyfaces.His
liesareasseductiveashistouch.Histruthsassensualashisbite.Poppy
knowsbetterthantotrusthim.Heneedsheralive,healthy,andwholeto
achievehisgoals.Buthe’stheonlywayforhertogetwhatshewants—tofind
herbrotherIanandseeforherselfifhehasbecomeasoullessAscended.
WorkingwithCasteelinsteadofagainsthimpresentsitsownrisks.Hestill
temptsherwitheverybreath,offeringupallshe’severwanted.Casteelhas
plansforher.Onesthatcouldexposehertounimaginablepleasureandunfathomable
pain.Plansthatwillforcehertolookbeyondeverythingshethoughtsheknew
aboutherself—abouthim.Plansthatcouldbindtheirlivestogetherin
unexpectedwaysthatneitherkingdomispreparedfor.Andshe’sfartoo
reckless,toohungry,toresistthetemptation.
ASecret…
ButunresthasgrowninAtlantiaastheyawaitthereturnof
theirPrince.Whispersofwarhavebecomestronger,andPoppyisatthevery
heartofitall.TheKingwantstousehertosendamessage.TheDescenters
wantherdead.Thewolvenaregrowingmoreunpredictable.Andasherabilities
tofeelpainandemotionbegintogrowandstrengthen,theAtlantiansstartto
fearher.Darksecretsareatplay,onessteepedintheblood-drenchedsinsof
twokingdomsthatwoulddoanythingtokeepthetruthhidden.Butwhenthe
earthbeginstoshake,andtheskiesstarttobleed,itmayalreadybetoo
late.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEAbout
JenniferL.Armentrout
#1NewYorkTimesandInternationalBestsellingauthor
JenniferlivesinShepherdstown,WestVirginia.Alltherumorsyou’veheard
aboutherstatearen’ttrue.Whenshe’snothardatworkwriting.shespends
hertimereading,watchingreallybadzombiemovies,pretendingtowrite,and
hangingoutwithherhusband,theirretiredK-9policedogDiesel,acrazy
BorderJackpuppynamedApollo,sixjudgmentalalpacas,fourfluffysheep,and
twogoats.
Herdreamsofbecominganauthorstartedinalgebraclass,
whereshespentmostofhertimewritingshortstories…whichexplainsherdismal
gradesinmath.Jenniferwritesyoungadultparanormal,sciencefiction,
fantasy,andcontemporaryromance.SheispublishedwithTorTeen,Entangled
TeenandBrazen,Disney/HyperionandHarlequinTeen.HerbookWicked
hasbeenoptionedbyPassionflixandslatedtobeginfilminginlate2018.Her
youngadultromanticsuspensenovelDON’TLOOKBACKwasa2014
nominatedBestinYoungAdultFictionbyYALSAandhernovelTHEPROBLEM
WITHFOREVERisa2017RITAAwardwinningnovel.
ShealsowritesAdultandNewAdultcontemporaryand
paranormalromanceunderthenameJ.Lynn.SheispublishedbyEntangledBrazen
andHarperCollins.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEAlso
FromJenniferL.Armentrout
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FallWithMe
DreamofYou(a1001
DarkNightsNovel)
ForeverWithYou
FireInYou
By
J.Lynn
WaitforYou
BeWithMe
StayWithMe
ABloodandAshNovel
FromBloodand
Ash
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KingdomofFleshandFire
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CovenantSeries
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Pure
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Elixer
Apollyon
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Wicked
Torn
Brave
ThePrince(a1001
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TheKing(a1001Dark
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FiftyFirstTimesRichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEAcknowledgments
fromtheAuthor
Thisbookwouldn’tbeinyoureager(hopefully)littlehands
ifitweren’tfortheamazingteamatBlueBoxPressandeveryonewhoplayeda
roleingettingthisbookready.ThankyouLizBerry,JillianStein,MJRose,
KimberlyGuidroz,ChelleOlson,JennWatson,KevanLyon,andStephanieBrown.A
hugethankyoutoJLAReviewersandJLAndersforbeingthemostawesome,
supportiveandkindreaders.Lastbutnotleast,thankyoutoyou,thereader.
Noneofthiswouldbepossibleifitweren’tforyou.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONETableofContents
BookDescription
AboutJenniferL.Armentrout
AlsofromJenniferL.Armentrout
AcknowledgmentsfromtheAuthor
Dedication
Map
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven
ChapterTwelve
ChapterThirteen
ChapterFourteen
ChapterFifteen
ChapterSixteen
ChapterSeventeen
ChapterEighteen
ChapterNineteen
ChapterTwenty
ChapterTwenty-One
ChapterTwenty-Two
ChapterTwenty-Three
ChapterTwenty-Four
ChapterTwenty-Five
ChapterTwenty-Six
ChapterTwenty-Seven
ChapterTwenty-Eight
ChapterTwenty-Nine
ChapterThirty
ChapterThirty-One
ChapterThirty-Two
ChapterThirty-Three
ChapterThirty-Four
ChapterThirty-Five
ChapterThirty-Six
ChapterThirty-Seven
ChapterThirty-Eight
ChapterThirty-Nine
ChapterForty
ChapterForty-One
ChapterForty-Two
ChapterForty-Three
ChapterForty-Four
ChapterForty-Five
DiscoverMoreJenniferL.
Armentrout
Discover1001DarkNights
CollectionSeven
DiscovertheWorldofBlueBox
Press&1001DarkNights
SpecialThanksRichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEDedication
Toyou,thereaderRichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEMap
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RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter1
“Wegohometomarry,myPrincess.”
Asingetmarried?
Tohim?
Suddenly,IthoughtofallthosegirlishfantasiesI’dhad
beforeIlearnedwhoIwasandwhatwasexpectedofme—daydreamsgivenlife
becauseofthelovemyparentshadforoneanother.
Neveroncedidthoselittle-girldreamsincludeaproposal
thatwasn’tremotelyanactualproposal.Nordidtheyincorporateitbeing
announcedatatablefullofstrangers,halfofwhichwantedmedead.Andthose
dreamssurelyhadn’tinvolvedwhathadtobethekingdom’sworst—andpossibly
mostinsane—non-proposalofmarriagetoamancurrentlyholdingmecaptive.
PerhapsIhadsomesortofailmentofthebrain.MaybeIwas
experiencinghallucinationsbroughtonbystress.Afterall,therehadbeenso
muchpainfuldeathtoprocess.Hisbetrayaltodealwith.AndI’djustlearned
IwasdescendedfromAtlantia,akingdomI’dbeenraisedtobelievewasthe
sourceofalltheevilandtragedyintheland.Stress-inducedhallucinations
seemedafarmorebelievablereasonthanwhatwasactuallyhappening.
AllIcoulddowasstareatthelargerhandholdingmymuch
smallerone.Hisskinwasslightlydarkerthanmineasifkissedbythesun.
Yearsofwieldingaswordwithdeadly,gracefulprecisionhadlefthispalms
callused.
Heliftedmyhandtoanindecentlywell-formedandfullmouth.
Tolipsthatweresomehowsoftyetunrelentinglyfirm.Lipsthathadspun
beautifulwordsintotheairandwhisperedheated,wickedpromisesagainstmy
bareskin.Lipsthathadpaidhomagetothemanyscarsthatriddledmybodyand
face.
Lipsthathadalsospokenblood-soakedlies.
Now,thatmouthwaspressedagainstthetopofmyhandina
gesturethatIwould’vecherishedforaneternityandthoughtexquisitely
tenderjustdaysorweeksago.Simplethingslikehand-holdingorchastekisses
hadbeenforbiddentome.Aswerebeingwantedorfeelingdesire.Ihadlong
sinceacceptedthatIwouldneverexperiencethosethings.
Untilhim
Iliftedmygazefromourjoinedhands,fromthatmouththat
wasalreadycurvingupononeside,hintingatadimpleintherightcheek,and
fromtheslowlypartinglipsthatrevealedjustahintoffatallysharpfangs.
Hishairbrushedthenapeofhisneckandtoppledoverhis
forehead,andthethickstrandsweresuchadeepshadeofblack,itoftenshone
blueinthesunlight.Withhighandangularcheekbones,astraightnose,anda
proud,carvedjaw,heoftenremindedmeofthelarge,gracefulcavecatIhad
seenonceinQueenIleana’spalaceasachild.Beautiful,butinthewayall
wild,dangerouspredatorswere.Myheartstammeredasmyeyeslockedontohis,
orbsashadeofstunning,coolamber.
IknewIwasstaringatHawke—
ColdnesspouredintomychestasIstoppedmyself.Thatwasn’t
hisname.Ididn’tevenknowifHawkeFlynnwasmerelyafictitious
persona,orifthenamebelongedtosomeonewhohadmostlikelybeen
slaughteredfortheiridentity.Ifeareditwasthelatter.BecauseHawke
hadsupposedlycomefromCarsodonia,thecapitaloftheKingdomofSolis,with
glowingrecommendations.Butthenagain,theCommanderoftheguardsin
MasadoniahadturnedouttobeasupporteroftheAtlantians,aDescenter,so
thattoocould’vebeenalie.
Eitherway,theguardwho’dpledgedtoprotectmewithhis
swordandwithhislifewasn’treal.NorwasthemanwhohadseenmeforwhoI
wasandnotjustwhatIwas.TheMaiden.TheChosen.HawkeFlynnwas
nothingmorethanafigmentoffantasy,justlikethoselittle-girldreamshad
been.
Whoheldmyhandnowwasthereality:PrinceCasteel
Da’Neer.HisHighness.TheDarkOne.
Aboveourjoinedhands,thecurveofhislipsgrew.The
dimpleinhisrightcheekwasapparent.Itwasrarethattheleftdimplemade
anappearance.Onlygenuinesmilesbroughtthatout.
“Poppy,”hesaid,andeverymuscleinmybodyknotted.I
wasn’tsureifitwastheuseofmynicknameorthedeep,musicalliltofhis
voicethatmademetense.“Idon’tthinkI’veeverseenyousospeechless.”
Theteasingglimmerinhiseyeswaswhatsnappedme
outofmydumbfoundedsilence.Ipulledmyhandfree,hatingtheknowledgethat
ifhehadwantedtostopmefrompullingaway,hecould’veeasilydoneso.
“Marriage?”Ifoundmyvoice,ifonlytosaytheoneword.
Aglintofchallengefilledhisgaze.“Yes.Marriage.Youdo
knowwhatthatmeans?”
MyhandcurledintoafistagainstthewoodentableasI
heldhisstare.“WhywouldyouthinkIwouldn’tknowwhatmarriageis?”
“Well,”herepliedidly,pickingupachalice.“Yourepeated
thewordasifitconfusedyou.AndastheMaiden,Iknowyou’ve
been…sheltered.”
Undermybraid,thenapeofmyneckstartedtoburn,likely
turningasredasmyhairinthesunlight.“BeingtheMaidenorsheltereddoes
notequalstupidity,”Isnapped,awareofthehushthathadsettledoverthe
tableandtheentirebanquethall—aroomcurrentlyfullofDescentersandAtlantians.
AllwhowouldkillanddieforthemanIopenlyglaredat.
“No.”Casteel’sgazeflickeredovermeashetookasip.“It
doesnot.”
“ButIamconfused.”Againstmyfist,Ifeltsomething
sharp.Withaquickglancedown,IsawwhatIhadbeentooshockedand
disturbedtonoticeearlier.Aknife.Onewithawoodenhandleandathick,
serratedblade,designedtocutthroughmeat.Itwasn’tmywolvenbonedagger.
Ihadn’tseenthatsincethestables,anditcutmedeeptothinkImaynever
seeitagain.Thatdaggerwasmorethanaweapon.Vikterhadgiftedittomeon
mysixteenthbirthday,anditwasmyonlyconnectiontothemanwhowasmore
thanaguard.Hehadassumedtherolemyfathershould’veoccupiedifhe’d
lived.Now,thedaggerwasmissing,andVikterwasgone.
KilledbythosewhosupportedCasteel.
AndbasedonthefactthatI’dshovedthelastdaggerI’d
gottenmyhandsondeepintoCasteel’sheart,Idoubtedthewolven-boneblade
wouldbereturnedanytimesoon.Themeatknifewasaweapon,though.Itwould
havetodo.
“Whatistheretobeconfusedabout?”Heplacedthechalice
down,andIthoughthiseyeswarmedliketheydidwhenhewasamusedor…or
feelingacertainwayIrefusedtoacknowledge.
Mygiftswelledagainstmyskin,demandingIuseittosense
hisemotionsasIflattenedmyhandoverthemeatknife.Imanagedtoshutoff
myabilitiesbeforetheyformedaconnectiontohim.Ididn’twanttoknowif
hewasamusedor…orwhateveratthemoment.Ididn’tcarewhathe
wasfeeling.
“AsIsaid,”thePrincecontinued,draggingonelongfinger
overtherimofhiscup.“AmarriagecanonlyoccurbetweentwoAtlantiansif
bothhalvesarestandingonthesoiloftheirhome,Princess.”
Princess
Thatannoyingandyetsomewhatslightlyendearingpetname
ofhishadjusttakenonawholedifferentmeaning.Onethatbeggedthe
question:Howmuchhadheknownfromthebeginning?He’dadmittedto
recognizingwhoIwasthenightattheRedPearl,butheclaimedhedidn’tknow
thatIwaspartAtlantianuntilhebitme.Tastedmyblood.Themarkonmyneck
tingled,andIresistedtheurgetotouchit.
Howmuchofthatnicknamewasacoincidence?Iwasn’tsure
why,butifthatwasyetanotherlie,itmattered.
“Whichpartconfusesyou?”heasked,ambereyesunblinking.
“It’sthepartwhere
youthinkIwouldactuallymarryyou.”
Acrossfromme,Iheardthechokedsoundofsomeonetrying
toconceallaughter.Iflickedalookatthehandsomefaceofa
tawny-brown-skinned,pale-blue-eyedwolven—acreatureabletotaketheformof
awolfaseasilyastheycouldassumetheformofamortal.Untilafewdays
ago,I’dbelievedthatthewolvenwereextinct,killedoffduringtheWarof
TwoKingssomefourhundredyearsago.Butthatwasyetanotherlie.Kieranwas
justoneofmany,veryalivewolven—severalofwhichsatatthistable.
“Idon’tthinkthatyouwill,”Casteelreplied,
thicklashesloweringhalfway.“Iknow.”
Disbeliefthunderedthroughme.“MaybeIwasn’tclear,soI
willtrytobemoreexplicitnow.Idon’tknowwhyyou’dthink,inamillionyears,
thatI’dmarryyou.”Itippedtowardhim.“Isthatclearenough?”
“Crystal,”heresponded,eyesheatingtoawarmhoneyhue,
buttheredidn’tseemtobeanyangerinhisstareortone.Therewassomething
elseentirely.Alookthatmademethinkofwarmskinandhowthoserough,
callusedpalmshadfeltagainstmycheek,glidingovermybellyandthighs,
grazingmuchmoreintimateplaces.Thedimpleinhischeekdeepened.“Butwe
shallsee,won’twe?”
Ahot,pricklyfeelingspreadovermyskin.“Weshallsee
absolutelynothing.”
“Icanbeveryconvincing.”
“Notthatconvincing,”Iretorted,andhegavea
noncommittalmurmurthatsentaboltofpureragestreakingthroughme.“Have
youlostyourmind?”
Adeepbellylaughcamefromfartherdownthetable.Iknew
itwasn’tthefair-hairedDelano.Thatwolvenappearedasifhe’djust
witnessedamassacre,andhisneckwasnextontheline.MaybeIshouldbe
afraid,becausewolvenweren’teasilyscared,especiallynotDelano.He’d
defendedmewhenJerichoandtheotherscameforme,althoughheandthe
Atlantian,Naill—whocurrentlysatononesideofhim—hadbeensorely
outnumbered.
TheDarkOnewasn’tsomeonemostwoulddaretoanger.Hewas
anAtlantian,deadly,fast,andimpossiblystrong.Hardtowound,letalone
kill.AndasIlearnedjustrecently,capableofusingcompulsiontoenforce
hiswilluponothers.He’dkilledoneofthemostpowerfulDukesinallof
Solis,thrustingtheverycaneTeermanoftenusedonmethroughtheAscended’s
heart.
ButIfeltnofear.
Iwastoofurioustobescared.
SittingonDelano’sleftwasthesourceofthelaughI’d
justheard.Ithadcomefromthemountainofaman,theonecalledElijah.I
didn’tthinkhewasawolven.Itwastheeyes.Allthewolvenhadthesamewintry
blueeyes.Elijah’swerehazel,acolormoregoldthanbrown.Iwasn’ttheonly
onestaringathimnow.Severalgazeshadlandedonhim.Itooktheopportunity
toslidethemeatknifeoffthetable,hidingitundertheslitinmytunic.
“What?”Elijahstrokedhisdarkbeardashemetthemany
stares.“She’saskingwhatmostofusarethinking.”
DelanoblinkedandthenslowlylookedatElijah.Casteel
saidnothing.Histight-lippedsmilespokevolumesasthepiercingweightof
hisgazemovedfrommetofartherdownthetable.
Fingersstillingonhisbeard,Elijahclearedhisthroat.“I
thoughttheplan—”
“Whatyouthinkisirrelevant.”ThePrincesilencedthe
olderman.
“Youmeantheonewhereyouthoughttousemeasbaitto
freeyourbrother?”Idemanded.“Orhasthatmagicallychangedinthelast
coupleofhours?”
AmusclepoppedalongCasteel’sjawasthefullfocusofhis
attentionreturnedtome.“Youshouldeat.”
Ialmostlostitrightthenandthrewmyscavengedknifeat
him.“I’mnothungry.”
Hisgazedippedtomyplate.“You’vebarelyeaten.”
“Well,yousee,Idon’thavemuchofanappetite,YourHighness.”
Hisjawtightenedashiseyesmetmineandheld.Thegolden
hueofhisiriseshadchilled.Goosebumpsprickledmyskinastheairaroundus
seemedtothickenandbecomecharged,fillingtheroom.Therehadn’tbeenan
ounceofrespectinmytone.HadIpushedCasteeltoofar?Ifso,Ididn’t
care.
Myfingerstightenedaroundthehandleoftheblade.Iwas
nolongertheMaiden,boundtorulesthatpreventedmefromhavingasayin
mattersofmylife.Iwouldnolongerbecontrolled.Icouldandwouldpushharder
thanthis.
“Sheasksaveryvalidquestion,”someonesaidfromtheend
ofthetable.Itwasamanwithshort,darkhair.Helookednoolderthan
Kieran,who,likeCasteel,appearedtobeinhisearlytwenties.ButCasteel
wasovertwohundredyearsold.Themancouldbeevenolder,forallIknew.
“HastheplantousehertofreePrinceMalikchanged?”heasked.
Casteelsaidnothing
ashecontinuedwatchingme,buttheutterstillnessthatcreptintohisfeatures
wasafarbetterwarningthananywordscouldbe.
“Iamnottryingtoquestionyourdecisions,”theman
stated.“I’mattemptingtounderstandthem.”
“Whatdoyouneedhelpunderstanding,Landell?”Casteel
leanedbackinthechair,hishandsrestinglightlyonthearms.Thewayhesat
asifcompletelyatease,raisedthetinyhairsallovermybody.
Atensemomentofsilencedescended,andthenLandellsaid,
“WehaveallfollowedyouherefromAtlantia.Westayedinthisarchaic,
cesspoolofakingdom,pretendingloyaltytoacounterfeitKingandQueen.
Because,likeyou,wewantnothingmorethantofreeyourbrother.Heisthe
rightfulheir.”
CasteelnoddedforLandelltocontinue.
“Wehavelostpeople—goodpeopletryingtoinfiltratethe
TemplesinCarsodonia,”hesaid.Itensedasimagesofthesprawling,
midnight-huedstructuresformedinmymind.
IfallthatCasteelhadallegedwastrue,thepurposethe
Templesservedwasanotherlie.Thirdsonsanddaughtersweren’tgivenover
duringtheRitetoservethegods.Instead,theyweregiventotheAscended—the
vamprys—becomingnothingmorethancattle.MuchofthepileofliesI’dbeen
fedmyentirelifewasterrible,butthatwaspossiblytheworstofthemall.
AndasrevoltingaswhatCasteelclaimedwas,Ifeareditwasthetruth.Howcould
Idenyit?TheAscendedhadtoldusthattheAtlantians’kisswaspoisonous,cursing
innocentmortalsandturningthemintothesedecayingshellsoftheirformer
selves—vicious,blood-hungrymonstersknownastheCraven.ButIknewthatto
beuntrue.TheAtlantians’kisswasn’ttoxic.Neitherwastheirbite.Iwas
proofofbothofthosethings.CasteelandIhadsharedmanykisses.He’dgiven
mehisbloodwhenIwasmortallywounded.And,he’dbittenme.
Ididnotturn.
JustlikeIhadn’tturnedwhenIwasattackedbytheCraven
allthoseyearsago.
Anditwasn’tlikeIhadn’tbeguntodevelopsuspicions
abouttheAscendedbeforeCasteelenteredmylife.Hehadonlyconfirmedthem.
Butwasitalltrue?Ihadnowayofknowing.Myfingersachedfromhowtightly
Iheldtheknife.
“Wehaven’tfoundanyleadsonwhereourPrinceisbeing
held,andtoomanywillneverreturnhometotheirfamilies,”Landell
continued,hisvoicesteadyingwitheachword,thickeningwithangerIdidn’t
needmygifttosense.“Butnowwehavesomething.Finally,somethingthatcould
beusedtogainknowledgeofyourbrother’swhereabouts—topossiblyfreehim,keep
himfrombeingforcedtomakenewvamprys,livingthroughthekindofhell
you’realltoofamiliarwith.Instead,we’regoinghome?”
Iknewofsomeofthathell.
I’dseenthenumerousscarsalloverCasteel’sbody,the
brandintheshapeoftheRoyalCrestonhisupperthigh,justbelowhiship.
ButCasteelsaidnothinginreturn.Noonespoke.Therewas
nomovement,notfromthoseatthetableortheonesnearthehearthatthe
backofthebanquethall.
Landellwasn’tfinished.“Theoneshangingonthewallsof
thehalloutsidethisveryroomdeservetobethere.Notjustbecausethey
disobeyedyourorders,butbecauseiftheyhadsucceededinkillingtheMaiden,
wewould’velosttheonethingwecoulduse.Theyputtheheirinjeopardyfor
vengeance.ThatiswhyIbelievetheydeservetheirfate,eventhoughsomeof
themwerefriendsofmine—friendsofmanyatthistable.”
Iwillkillthem.
ThatwasCasteel’spromisewhenhesawthewoundstheothers
hadleftbehind.Andhehad.Mostly.CasteelhadstakedthoseLandellspokeof
tothewall.Allweredeadnow,exceptforJericho.Theringleaderwasbarely
alive,sufferingaslow,agonizingdeathtoserveasareminderthatIwould
notbeharmed.
“Youcanuseher,”Landellfumed.“SheistheQueen’sfavorite—the
Chosen.Iftheywereevertoreleaseyourbrother,itwouldbeforher.
Instead,we’regoinghomeforyoutomarry?”Hejerkedhischintowardme.“Her?”
Thedistasteinthatwordstung,butI’dbeenonthe
receivingendoffarmorecuttingremarksfromDukeTeermantoshowevena
flickerofreaction.
Acrossfromme,Kieran’sheadsnappedinLandell’s
direction.“Ifyouhaveanyintelligence,youwouldstopspeaking.Now.”
“Lethimcontinue,”Casteelinterjected.“Hehasarightto
speakhismind.JustasElijahdid.ButitseemsasifLandellhasmoretosay
thanElijah,andIwouldliketohearit.”
Elijah’slipspursed,andheemittedalowwhistle,eyes
wideningasheleanedbackinhischair,droppinganarmoverthebackof
Delano’sseat.“Hey,sometimesIspeakandlaughwhenIshouldn’t.Butwhatever
youplanorwant,I’mwithyou,Casteel.”
“Areyouserious?”Landell’sheadwhippedtowardElijahas
heshottohisfeet.“You’reokaywithgivinguponPrinceMalik?You’refine
withCasteelbringingherbackhome,toourlands,andmarryingher,makingher
thePrincess?Anhonormeanttobringallofourpeopletogether,nottodivide
them.”
Casteelmovedslightly,hishandsslidingoffthearmsof
hischair.
“AsIjustsaid,I’mwithCasteel.”Elijahliftedhisgaze
toLandell.“Always,andnomatterwhathechooses.Andifhechoosesher,then
wealldo.”
Thiswas…thatwasentirelyridiculous,thewholeargument.
Itdidn’tmatter.AndIdidn’tcarewhytherewasaneedtobringthepeopleof
AtlantiatogetherbecauseCasteelandIweren’tgettingmarried.Ididn’tgeta
chancetopointthatout,though.
“Idonotchooseher.Iwillneverchooseher,”
Landellswore,theskinofhisfacethinninganddarkeningashescannedthose
whosataroundhim.Wolven.Hewasawolven,Irealized.Iadjustedmygripon
theknifeandtensed.“Allofyouknowthis.Thewolvenwillnotaccepther.It
doesn’tmatterifshehasAtlantianbloodornot.Neitherwillthepeopleof
Atlantiawelcomeher.She’sanoutsiderraisedandcaredforbythosewho
forcedusbackintoalandthatisquicklygrowingtoosmallanduseless.”He
stareddownthetable,lookingatCasteel.“Shedidn’tevenacceptyou,andwe’re
supposedtobelievethatshewillbondwithyou?”
Bond?IglancedatKieranandthenCasteel.Iknewthatsome
wolvenwerebondedtoAtlantiansofaparticularclass,andittooknoleapof
logictoassumethatCasteelbeingaPrincewasjustthat.Thetwoofthem
seemedtheclosestoutofeveryoneI’dseenCasteelinteractwith,butIknew
ofnootherbond.
However,again,itwasirrelevantsincewewerenot
marrying.
“Arewesupposedtobelievethatsheisworthyofbeingour
Princesswhensheflat-outdeniesyouinfrontofyourpeoplewhilereekingofthe
Ascended?”Landelldemanded.Mynosewrinkled.Ididn’tsmelllike…likethe
Ascended.DidI?“Whensherefusestochooseyou?”
“WhatmattersisthatIchooseher,”Casteelspoke,andmy
stupid,stupidheartskippedabeat,eventhoughIdidnotchoosehim.
“Andthatisallthatmatters.”
Thewolven’slipspeeledback,andmyeyeswidenedatthe
sightofhiscanineselongating.“Youdothis,anditwillbethedownfallof
ourkingdom,”hesnarled.“Iwillnotchoosethatscarred-facebitch.”
Iflinched.
I’dactuallyflinched,cheeksburningasifI’d
beenslappedacrosstheface.Iliftedmyfingers,touchingtheunevenskinof
mycheekbeforeIrealizedwhatIwasdoing.
Landell’shanddroppedtohiship.“I’llseeherdeadbefore
Istandbyandallowthis.”
Seconds,mereheartbeatspassedfromwhenthosewordsleft
Landell’smouth,andthefrenziedstirofairasitliftedwispsofhairatmy
temples.
Casteel’schairwasempty.
Ashout,andthensomethingheavyclangedoffadish.A
chairtoppled,andLandell…hewasnolongerstandingbythetable.Hisplate
wasnolongerempty.Anarrowdaggerlaythere,onedesignedforthrowing.My
wideeyesfollowedtheblurthatwasCasteelashepinnedLandelltothewall,
hisforearmpressedintothewolven’sthroat.
Goodgods,tobeabletomovethatfast,thatsilently…
“IjustwantyoutoknowthatI’mnotevenparticularly
upsetaboutyouquestioningwhatIintendtodo.Howyou’vespokentomedoesn’t
botherme.I’mnotinsecureenoughtocareabouttheopinionsoflittlemen.”
Casteel’sfacewasinchesfromthewide-eyedwolven.“Ifthathadbeenall,I
would’veoverlookedit.Ifyouhadstoppedafterthefirsttimeyoureferenced
her,Iwould’veletyouwalkoutofherewithjustyouroverinflatedsenseofself-worth.
Butthenyouinsultedher.Youmadeherflinch,andthenyouthreatenedher.I
willnotforgetthat.”
“I—”WhateverLandellwasabouttosayendedinagurgleas
Casteel’srightarmthrustforward.
“AndIwillnotbeabletoforgiveyou.”Casteeljerkedhis
armback,throwingsomethingtothefloor.Itlandedwithafleshysmack.
MylipsslowlypartedasIrealizedwhatthelumpy,redmass
was.Oh,mygods.Aheart.Itwasanactualheart.
Lettinggoofthewolven,Casteelsteppedback,watching
Landellslidedownthewall,thewolven’sheadlollingtotheside.Heturned
tofacethetable,hisrighthandstainedwithbloodandgore.“Doesanyone
elsehaveanythingthey’dliketoshare?”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter2
Achorusofdenialsechoedthroughthebanquethall,but
noneofthemenhadsomuchastwitchedintheirseats.Someofthemwereeven
chuckling,andI…IstaredattheredcoursingdownthelengthofCasteel’sfingers,
drippingontothefloor.
Casteelleanedforward,pluckingupLandell’snapkin.
Strollingbacktohischair,heidlywipedhishandclean.
Iwatchedhimsit,myheartthumpingasheturnedtome,his
gazeshelteredbyafringeofheavylashes.
“Youprobablythinkthatwasexcessive,”hesaid,dropping
thecrumpled,blood-stainednapkinontohisplate.“Itwasn’t.Noonespeaksof
youortoyoulikethatandlives.”
Istaredathim.
Hesatback.“Atleast,Igavehimaquickdeath.Thereis
somedignityinthat.”
Ihadnoideawhattosay.
Ihadnocluewhattofeel.AllIcouldthinkwas,ohmy
gods,hejustrippedawolven’sheartfromhischestwithhisbare
hand
ThemenwhostoodbythedoorswerepickingupLandellwhen
oneofthemenatthetableasked,“So,whenisthewedding?”
Laughtergreetedthequestion,andtherewasahintofa
smileonCasteel’slipsasheleanedtowardme.“Thereisnosideofyouthat
isnotasbeautifulastheotherhalf.Notasingleinchisn’tstunning.”Hislashes
lifted,andtheintensityinhisstareheldmecaptive.“Thatwastruethefirst
timeIsaidittoyou,anditisstillthetruthtodayandtomorrow.”
Mylipspartedonasharpinhale.Ialmostreachedformy
faceagainbutstoppedmyself.Somehow,intheprocessofgettingusedtobeing
seenwithouttheveiloftheMaiden,I’dforgottenaboutmyscars—somethingI’d
neverthoughtpossible.Iwasn’tashamedofthem,hadn’tbeenforyears.They
wereproofofmystrength,ofthehorrificattackIhadsurvived.ButwhenI
wasunveiledinfrontofCasteelforthefirsttime,I’dfearedhewouldagree
withwhatDukeTeermanhadalwayssaid.WhatIknewmostthoughtiftheysawme
unveiledorlookeduponmenow.
Thathalfofmyfacewasamasterpiece,whiletheotherwas
anightmare.
ButwhenHawke—Casteel—hadseenthepalepink,
jaggedstreakofskinthatstartedbelowmyhairlineandslicedacrossthe
temple,endingatmynose,andtheotherthatwasshorterandhigher,cuttingacross
myforeheadthroughmyeyebrow,hehadsaidthatbothhalveswereasbeautiful
asthewhole
I’dbelievedhimthen.AndI’dfeltbeautifulforthefirsttime
inmylife,somethingthathadalsobeenforbiddentome.
Andgodshelpme,butIstillbelievedhim.
“Whathesaidwasmorethananinsult.Itwasathreatthat
Iwillnottolerate,”Casteelfinished,sittingbackashepickeduphis
chalicewiththesamehandthathadtornaheartfreefromitscagemoments
before.
MygazefelltowherethedaggerstilllayonLandell’s
plate.Whatthewolvenwould’veattemptedtodowiththatdaggershouldn’thave
comeasashock.Itwasn’tlikeIdidn’tknowthatmanyofthoseatthistable
wouldratherseemeslicedintopieces.IknewIwasn’tsafehere,butallof
themhadseenthehalloutsidethisroom.Theyhadtoknowwhatwouldhappenif
theydisobeyedCasteel.
Someunconsciouspartofmestillunderestimatedtheir
hatredofanythingthatremindedthemoftheAscended.Andthatwasme,evenif
Ihadn’tdoneanythingtothemotherthandefendmyself.
Conversationpickedbackuparoundthetable.Quietdiscussions.
Louderones.Laughter.Itwaslikenothinghadhappened,andthatrattledme.
ButwhatleftmewhollyunsettledwaswhatIcouldn’tadmit,eventomyself.
Kieranclearedhisthroat.“Wouldyouliketoreturntoyour
room,Penellaphe?”
Pulledfrommythoughts,ittookmeamomenttorespond.
“Youmeanmycell?”
“It’sfarmorecomfortableandnotnearlyasdraftyasthe
dungeon,”hereplied.
“Acellisacell,nomatterhowcomfortableitis,”Itold
him.
“I’mfairlycertainthisisthesameconversationwehad
earlier,”Casteelcommented.
MygazeswiveledbacktoCasteel.“I’mfairly
certainIdon’tcare.”
“I’malsosurethatwecametotheconclusionthatyouhave
neverbeenfree,Princess,”Casteeltackedon.Thetruthofthosewordswas
stillasbrutalasitwaswhentheyhadfirstbeenspoken.“Idon’tbelieveyou
wouldevenrecognizefreedomifitwereeverofferedtoyou.”
“Iknowenoughtorecognizethat’snotwhatyou’re
offering,”Ishotback,furyreturninginahot,welcomingwave,warmingmy
too-coldskin.
Afaintsmile
appearedonCasteel’smouth,thoughitwasn’thistight,calculatingone.My
angergavewaytoconfusion.Washepurposelybaitingme?
Morethanalittleagitated,Ifocusedonthewolven.“I
wouldliketoreturntomymorecomfortable,not-nearly-as-draftycell.Iassume
Iwon’tbeallowedtowalktheremyself?”
Kieran’slipstwitched,buthisexpressionsmoothedout
prettyquickly,provingthathehadthecommonsensenottosmileorlaugh.
“Youwouldassumecorrectly.”
WithoutwaitingforHisHighnesstogivepermission,I
pushedbackmychair.Thelegsscreechedacrossthestonefloor.Internally,I
sighed.Mymotionsweren’tasdignifiedasIwished,butIkeptmyheadhighas
Istartedtoturn.
Oneofthemenwho’dbeenatthedoorandhadretrieved
Landell’scorpsestalkedacrossthebanquethall,headedstraightforthe
Prince.Hebentlow,whisperinginCasteel’searasKieranrose.Without
waitingforKieran,norlookingatthesmearofbloodacrossthewall,Itooka
step.
Suddenly,Casteelwasatmyside,hishandonmyarm.Not
havingheardhimrise,Iswallowedagaspofsurpriseandmovedtopullmyarm
freeasthemanwho’dspokentoCasteelsteppedaway.
“Don’t,”Casteelwhispered,holdingontomyarm.Something
abouthistoneinthatonewordstoppedme.Ilookedupathim.“We’reaboutto
havecompany.Fightmeallyouwantlater.I’llprobablyenjoyit.Butdonot
fightmeinfrontofhim.”
Myeyesmethisasknotsformedinmystomach.Again,his
tonestruckachordofuneasewithinmeasIlookedatthedoor.Whowas
coming?Hisfather?TheKing?
Casteelshiftedsothathestoodpartiallyinfrontofmeas
agroupofmenfilledthedoorway.Thesandy-hairedmanwhowalkedinthecenter,
tallandbroadofshoulder,snaggedmyattention.Iinherentlyknewthatthis
waswhoCasteelhadspokenof.
Theman,hiswealthofblondhairbrushingasquare,hard
jaw,appearedmucholderthanCasteel.Ifhewasmortal,whichIdoubted,I
would’vepeggedhimforsomeoneonthevergeofapproachingmid-life.Ididn’tthink
thismanwasCasteel’sfather.Helookednothinglikehim,butIsupposedthat
didn’tmeanmuch.
Hestrodetowardus.Theheavycloakhewore,dustedwith
meltingsnow,parted,revealingablacktunicwithtwogoldlinesoverlapping
acrosshischest.Ashedrewcloser,Isomehowmanagednottogasp.Itwasn’t
thepaleblueeyesIassociatedwiththewolven.Itwasthedeepgrooveinthe
centerofhisforeheadasifsomeonehadattemptedtosliceopenhishead.I,
ofallpeople,knewbetterthantobesurprisedbyscars.Shamecreptupmy
throatasIavertedmygaze.Itwasn’tthattheinjurywasugly.Themanwas
handsomeinaruggedwaythatremindedmeofalion.Itwasjustashocktosee
someone,apossiblewolven,scarred.Vaguely,IbecameawareofKierancoming
tostandatmyback.
“Whatinthegods’teethishappeninghere?”themandemanded.
ThebreathIhadtakengotstuckasmygazeflewbacktothe
man.Hisvoice…itsoundedsofamiliartome.
“OrdoIevenwanttoknow?”hecontinued,hisbrowslifting
ashesawthebloodonthewall.Theotherswho’dtraveledwiththemmoved
amongthoseatthetable,allexceptone.HewasshorterthanCasteelandmore
compact.Hishairwasareddish-brownmopofwaves,andhiseyeswerea
brilliantgoldlikeCasteel’s.Thisoneremainedclosetotheman,andhisgaze
seemedtotrackeverybreathItook.
“I’vejustbeendoingalittleredecorating,”Casteel
replied,andthewolvenchuckledasthetwomalesclaspedhands.
Ifeltacatchinmychestagain,atugatmyheart.His
laugh…itwasraspyandroughasifhisthroatweren’tsurewhattodowiththe
emotion.LikeVikter’s.Myheartsqueezed.Thatwaswhyhisvoiceandlaugh
soundedfamiliartome
“Ididn’texpectyoutobeheresosoon,Alastir,”Casteel
said.
“Werodehardtogetaheadofthestormheadedthisway.”
Alastir’sgazeslidpastthePrincetome.Curiositymarkedhisfeatures,
thoughnottheflushofangerorthecoldnessofdistaste.“So,thisisher.”
“Itis.”
EverymuscleinmybodytensedasAlastir’sgazelowered.
Hisheadtilted,andittookmeamomenttorealizethathewasstaringatmy
neck—
Thedamnbite!
Mybraidhadslippedovermyshoulder,revealingmythroat.
TheskinaroundAlastir’smouthtightenedashisgaze
shiftedbacktoCasteel.“Ifeellikethingshaveoccurredsincewelast
spoke.”
HadAlastirbeenwithCasteel’sfatherwhenheleftNew
Haventospeakwithhim?Ifso,wherewastheKing?
“Manythingshavechanged,”Casteelanswered.“Includingmy
relationshipwithPenellaphe.”
“Penellaphe?”Alastirrepeatedinsurprise,oneeyebrow
arching.“NamedaftertheGoddessofWisdom,Loyalty,andDuty?”
SinceIverywellcouldn’tstandthereandignorehim,I
nodded.
Afaintsmileappeared.“AfittingnamefortheMaiden,I
imagine.”
“Youwouldn’tthinkthatifyouknewher,”Casteelreplied,
andIclampedmylipsshutagainstaretort.
“ThenIcannotwaittodoso.”Alastir’ssmiletightened.
“Youwillhavetowaitalittlelonger.”Casteelglanced
back.Hiseyesbrieflymetmine,butitwaslongenoughformetoknowthathe
wishedformenottochallengewhathesaidnext.“Penellaphewasjustaboutto
retire.”
Kieransteppedcloser,placinghishandonmylowerbackto
urgemeforward.Isquelchedtheurgetorefuse,havingenoughsensetorealize
thatCasteeldidn’twantmearoundthisman,andtherewasprobablyagood
reasonforthat.
Iwalkedforward,wellawareofseveralgazesfollowingme.
I’dmadeithalfwaytothedoorwhenIheardAlastirask,“Isitwisetoallow
theMaidentoroamfreely?”
Istopped—
“Keepwalking,”Kieransaidunderhisbreath.Thehandleof
theknifeI’dstolendugintomypalm.
“Itwouldn’tbewisetorefusehertodoso,”Casteelsaid
withalaugh,andittookeverythinginmenottothrowthebladeathim.
Kierankeptpacewithmeaswepassedthemenwho’dreturned
tostandingsentryatthelargewoodendoors.Stridingforward,Itoldmyself
nottolookup,butmyeyesliftedanywayasIpassedtheimpaledbodyofMr.
Tulis.
Pressureclampeddownonmychest.Heandhiswifehadcome
beforeDukeandDuchessTeerman,pleadingtokeeptheirthird-bornson,their
onlyremainingchild,whohadbeendestinedtogointoservicetothegods
duringtheRite.I’dfelttheirsoul-deeppainanddesperation,andeven
withoutmygift,Iwould’vebeenaffected.I’dplannedtopleadtheircaseto
theQueen.Todosomething,evenifIweren’tsuccessful.
Butthey’descaped.Hisentirefamily,hiswifeandinfant
son,givenachanceatanewlife.Andhe’dtakenthatopportunitytodeliver
whatwould’vebeenthewoundthatkilledmeifithadn’tbeenforCasteel.
Iwantedtoscream.Iwantedtoyell,“why?”asI
staredatthepalefaceandthedriedbloodthatstainedhischest.Whyhadhe
madethatchoice?He’dthrowneverythingawayforashort-livedsenseof
retribution.Againstme,whohaddonenothingtohimorhisfamily.Noneof
thathadmatteredintheend.Now,hissonwouldgrowupwithoutafather.
Butatleasthewouldlive.Ifhe’dbeengivenoverinthe
Rite,he’dlikelyfaceafutureworsethandeath.Ihadnoideahowlongthe
thirdsonsanddaughterssurvivedwithinthoseTemples.Werethey…feduponimmediately,
evenasinfants?Smallchildren?Thirdsonsanddaughtersweregivenover
annually,whilethesecondsonsanddaughtersweregiventotheCourtbetween
theagesofthirteenandeighteen.Theylived—well,mostofthem.Somediedat
Courtduetoasicknessofthebloodthattookthemduringthenight.Casteel
hadsaidthevamprysstruggledtocontroltheirbloodlust,andInowdoubted
thatthere’dbeenanailmentthattookthem.Instead,itwaslikewhathad
happenedtoMalessaAxton,who’dbeenfoundwithabiteonherthroatandher
neckbroken.Itwasneverconfirmed,butIknewLordMazeen,anAscended,had
killedherandleftherbodythere,halfexposedforanyonetofind.
AtleastLordMazeenwillharmnooneelse,Itold
myselfasasavagewaveofsatisfactionflowedthroughme.Ieasilyrecalled
thelookofshocketchedontohisfacewhenIchoppedoffhishand.I’dnever
thoughtIwouldbegladtokillanythingbutaCraven,butLordMazeenhad
proventhatfalse.
Theviolentjoycame
toaswiftendasthoughtsofthechildrencreptbackin.Howcouldanyone,
mortalornot,hurtyoungoneslikethat?Andtheyhadbeendoingitfor
years—hundredsofyears.
RealizingI’dcometoastandstill,Istartedwalkingagain.
Chestheavy,Ididn’tevenbothertolookatJericho.Icouldtellbythe
pitifulwhimperscomingfromhimthathewasstillalive.
Ibelievedeveryonedeserveddignityindeath,evenhim,but
Ididn’tfeelevenoneiotaofempathyforwhathe’dbroughtuponhimself.
AndLandell?DidIfeelsorryforhim?Notparticularly.
Whatdidthatsayaboutme?
Ididn’twanttothinkofthatsoIasked,“Whowasthat
man?”
“HisnameisAlastirDavenwell.He’stheadvisortotheKing
andQueen.Aclosefamilyfriend.MorelikeanuncletobothCasteeland
Malik,”Kieransaid,andIjerkedalittleatthementionofCasteel’sbrother.
“IsthatwhyCasteeldidn’twantmearoundhim?Because
Alastirisanadvisortohisparents?Orbecausehetoowillwishtochopme
intopieces?”
“Alastirisnotamanpronetoviolence,despitethescarhe
carries.AndwhileheknowshisplacewiththePrince,heisloyaltotheQueen
andKing.TherearethingsthatCasteelwouldnotwanttogetbacktohisfather
ormother.”
“Liketheridiculousmarriagething?”
“Somethinglikethat.”Kieranshiftedtheconversationaswe
roundedthecornerandenteredthecommonareawheretheairwasfreeofthe
stenchofdeath.“Doyoufeelpityforthemortal?TheoneCashelpedescape
theAscendedwithhisfamily?”
Cas
Gods,thatsoundedlikesuchaharmlessnicknameforsucha
dangerousman.
IglancedatKieranasweenteredthenarrowstairwell,
notingthathewaswithouthisshortswordandbowashemovedinfrontofme.
Buthewasfarfromdefenseless,consideringwhathewas.Ididn’tevenbother
tomakearunforit.IknewIwouldn’tmakeitmorethanafoot.Wolvenwere
incrediblyfast.
Kieranstoppedwithoutwarning,spinningaroundsosuddenly
thatIbackedup,hittingthewall.Hetookasteptowardmeanddippedhis
headtomine.Everymusclelockedasheinhaleddeeply.
Washe…?
Hisheadlowered,thebridgeofhisnosebrushingmytemple.
Heinhaledagain.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Ijerkedtotheside,puttingspace
betweenus.“Areyousmellingme?”
Hestraightened,hiseyesnarrowed.“You…smelldifferent.”
Mybrowslifted.“Okay?Idon’tknowwhattotellyouabout
that.”
Hedidn’tseemtohearmeashiseyesbrightened.“Yousmell
like…”
“IfyousayIsmelllikeCasteelagain,Iwillpunchyouin
theface,”Ipromised.“Hard.”
“Youdosmelllikehim,butthat’snotit.”Heshookhishead.
“Yousmellofdeath.”
“Wow.Thanks.ButifIdo,thatisnotmyfault.”
“Youdon’tunderstand.”Kieraneyedmeforamomentlonger
andthenturned,startingupthestairwelloncemore.
No.Ididn’tunderstand,andIreallydidn’twantto.
Isniffedthesleeveofmytunic.Itsmelledlike…roasted
meat.
“Earlier,yousaidyou
didn’tfeelsympathyforanyofthem,”hesaidasIfollowedhim.
“Thathasn’tchanged,”Isaid.“Theywantedmedead.”Westepped
outofthestairwellandontothecoveredwalkway.Damp,coldairgreetedus.
“ButIcan’thelpbutfeelpityforMr.Tulis.”
“Youshouldn’t.”
“Well,Ido.”Shivering,Iduckedmychinagainstthesharp
gustofwind.“Hewasgivenasecondchance.Hethrewitaway.Ifeelpityfor
thatchoiceandforhiswifeandson.AndIguessIfeelsorryforthefamilies
ofanyofthemthatarenowonthatwall.”
Kieranfellintostepbesideme,takingthebruntofthe
wind.“Thepityforthefamiliesisrightfullyplaced.”
Istoppedinsurprisebutsaidnothing.
“What?”
“Nothing,”Imurmured.
Heissuedasoftchuckle.“YouthinkI’mnotcapableof
compassion?”
Iglancedoutovertheyardbelow.Afinelayerofsnow
shonebrightlyinthemoonlight.Beyond,Isawnothingbutthethickdarkness
oftheencroachingwoods.ItwasstrangetolookoutandnotseeaRise,the
often-mountainouswallsconstructedfromlimestoneandironminedfromthe
ElysiumPeaks.ThesleepytownofNewHavenhadone,butitwasmuchsmaller
thanwhatIwasaccustomedtoinbothMasadoniaandCarsodonia.
“Idon’tknowwhatyou’recapableof,”Iadmitted,touching
thebanister’scoolwoodasthewindpickedup,liftingtheshorterstrandsof
myhairthathadescapedmybraid.“Ihardlyknowanythingaboutthewolven.”
“Myanimalsidedoesn’tcanceloutmymortalone,”he
replied.“I’mnotincapableofemotions.”
Mygazecuttohis.“Ididn’tmeanitlikethat.Ijust…”I
trailedoff.WhathadImeant?“IguessIdidmeanitlikethat.I’msorry.”
“Youdon’tneedtoapologize.It’snotlikeyou’vemetmany
wolven,”hereasoned.
“Yes,butthat’snoexcuse.”Igrippedtherailingwithone
hand.“TherearealotofdifferentpeoplefromvariousplacesthatIhaven’tmet
andknownothingabout.Thatdoesn’tmeanit’sokaytomakeassumptions.”
“True,”hereplied,andIalmostcringed.Howmanytimeshad
ImadeassumptionsabouttheAtlantianpeople?TheDescenters?Biaseswere
taughtandlearned.Maybethatwasn’tmyfault,butthatdidn’tmakeit
acceptable.
Butnobodyatthattablehadeventwitchedintheirseatsas
CasteelkilledLandell.Whatdidthatsayaboutthem?“Iswhathappenedtonight
common?”
“Whichpart?Themarriageproposalortheopen-heart
surgery?”
IshotKieranadarklook.“Landell.”
Hestudiedmeforamoment,andthenhisstareturnedtothe
yardandthetrees.“Notparticularly.Evenifyoudon’tseethisyetordon’t
wantto,Casisnotamurderoustyrant.Honestly,it’srarethatanyquestionhim.
Notbecausewhathedoesordoesn’tdoisalwaysreasonable,butbecausehehas
noproblemgettingbloodonhishandstoasserthisauthoritytogetwhathe
wantsortokeepthosehecaresforsafe.”
Therewasameasureofrelief,knowingCasteeldidn’triphearts
outofchestsoften.Thatwasagoodthing…Iguessed.Although,Ididn’tdare
believethatIfellintothecategoryofthosehecaredfor.Iwassomeonehe
needed.
“WhatCasdidwasn’taboutLandellquestioninghim.”Kieran
angledhisbodytowardme.“Itwasn’tassimpleasLandellnotbeingableto
understandhoworwhythePrincewouldchooseyou.Itwasn’tevenabouthim
challengingCas.Atlantiansandwolvendoanythingtoprotecttheirhome,and
itwasclearthatLandellsawyouasathreattoit,”Kierantoldme,andI
wonderedwhatIhadtodowithLandell’sconcernovertheirlandgrowingtoo
smallanduseless.“Caswasrighttodowhathedid.Ifhehadn’t,Landell
would’vethrownthatdaggerhepulled.Therewillbeotherswhowillwanttodo
thesamething.”
Dreadsettledinmybones.“WasLandellanotherwarning,
then?Howmanywarningswillthereneedtobe?”
“Asmanyasareneeded.”
“Andthatdoesn’tbotheryou?Someofthemareyourfriends,
right?”
“Ifsomeoneisidiotenoughtoinsultandthreatenyouinfront
ofCas,it’slikelysomeoneIwouldn’thavebeenparticularlyclosetointhe
firstplace.”
Ialmostlaughedatthat,butnoneofthiswasfunny.
“Everyoneseemssofullofemotiononemomentandthenabsolutelyapatheticthe
next.”
“Youhaven’ttriedtofeelmyemotionstoknowwhatIam
feeling?”Kieranasked,deliveringanotherdoseoftheunexpected.Mygazecut
tohim.
ThenIrememberedthatKieranhadbeentherewhenIusedmy
gifttoeasethepainofadyingguard.Still,itwasbizarretodiscussthis
withanyoneafterspendingsolongforcedtohidemyabilitiesandneverspeak
ofthem.
“Castoldmethatitstartedwithyouonlybeingableto
senseandeasepain.Buthealsosaidthatchanged.”
Inodded.“Itdidchange,onlyalittlewhileago.Idon’t
knowwhy.IaskedtheDuchessaboutitbecauseIthoughtmaybethefirstMaiden
hadbeenabletodothesame.”Tensioncreptupmyneck.DuchessTeermanhad
toldmethatthefirstMaiden’sgifthadgrownfromsensingpaintoreading
emotions,andthatthegrowthwasbecauseshewasnearherAscension—likeI
was.Honestly,littlewasknownaboutthefirstMaiden.Notevenhernameor
whaterashelivedin.ButtheDuchesshadinsinuatedthattheDarkOnehad
killedthefirstMaiden.
Casteel.
Ishivered,andIdidn’tthinkithadanythingtodowith
thecold.“Ihaven’ttriedtoreadyouremotions.Itrynottodothatsinceit
feelslikeaninvasiontodoso.”
“Maybeitisabreachofprivacy,”heagreed.“Butitwould
alsogiveyouanupperhandwhendealingwithpeople.”
Itcould.
“Doyouthinkhe’stoldothers?”Iasked.
“Cas?No.Thelessothersknowaboutyou,thebetter,”he
answered,andmybrowsrose.“Idon’tknowofanyAtlantianalivetodaywhocan
experiencewhatothersfeel.”
“Whatdoesthatmean?”
“I’mnotsureyet.”Hestartedwalking.“Youcoming?Orare
youplanningtostayouthereandturnintoanicecube?”
Sighing,Ipulledmyselfawayfromtherailingandwentto
wherehestoodinfrontofthedoor.
Heslippedakeyfrom
hispocket.“Yourabilitywouldespeciallyhelpyouwhenitcomestodealing
withCas.”
“Ihavenointentionofdealingwithhim.”
Asmallsmileappearedasheheldopenthedoor.Iwalked
intotheroom,warmedbytheheatofthefireplace.“Buthehaseveryintention
ofdealingwithyou.”
Keepingthemeatknifehiddenundermytunic,Ifaced
Kieran.“Youmeanhehaseveryintentionofusingme.”
Hisheadcockedtotheside.“That’snotwhatIsaid,
Penellaphe.”
“Whynot?Doyouthinkhereallyhasgivenuponhis
brother?Idon’t.HeevensaidthatI’mtheQueen’sfavorite,”Ispat,thelast
twowordsacidiconmytongue.“Thismarriagethinghastobeapartofthe
plantogethisbrotherback.Thoughwhyhedidn’tjustfessuptothatatthe
table,Ihavenoidea.”
“Idon’tthinkeitherofyouknowsthetruth.”
Myspinestiffened.“Whatisthatsupposedtomean?”
Kieraneyedme.Hewasquietforsolong,theuneasewithin
metripled.“HetoldyouthetruthabouttheAscended,didn’the?”
Iwasn’tsurewhatanyofthishadtodowithwhathe’d
said,butIanswered.“TheAscendedare…vamprys,andeverythingI’vebeen
taught—thateveryoneinSolisbelieves—isalie.ThegodsneverBlessedKing
JalaraandQueenIleana.Thegodsaren’teven—”
“No,thegodsarereal.Theyareourgods,andthey
nowrest,”hecorrected.“YouknowtheAscendedaren’tBlessed.Theyareas
cursedasthosebittenbyaCravenare.Excepttheydon’tdecay.Youknowthis,
butdoyouunderstand?”
Hiswordswerelikeapunchtothechest.“Mybrother—”I
cutmyselfoff.Ididn’tneedtotalkaboutIan.“Iunderstand.”
“AnddoyoubelievewhatCastoldyouabouttheAscended?”
Ilookedatthefire,notanswering.Ononehand,I’dseen
theevidenceofwhatCasteelclaimed—sawitbrandedonhisskin.TheAscended
hadheldCasteelcaptivebeforetheytookhisbrother.He’dbeentortured,
forcedtodoandtakepartinthingsIknewwereutterlyhorrificbasedonthe
fewsmalldetailshe’dsharedwithme.WhatIfeltwhenIthoughtaboutthat
wastooheavyandnoxioustobecalleddisgust.Andtheacheinmyheartwas
onlythebeginning,knowingthatCasteel’sbrotherhadbeencapturedwhilefreeing
him.
IcouldbefuriouswithCasteel.
Icouldevenhatehim.
Butthatdidn’tmeanIdidn’twanttoscreamforallthe
agonyCasteelhadexperiencedandforwhathisbrotherwassurelysufferingat
thisverymoment.
DidthatmeanthatallAscendedwereevil?Everylastoneof
them,includingmybrother?IbelievedinwhatIsawproofof.ButCasteel…Icouldn’t
trustmorethanhalfofwhatlefthismouth,anditwasn’tlikeallAtlantians
wereutterlyinnocent.
“Ifyoudobelievehim,thenwhatareyoufightingtogo
backto?”Kieranasked,andmygazeflewtohis.“Isn’tthatwhatyou’redoing
byrefusingCas?”
“RefusingtomarryhimhasnothingtodowiththeAscended,
andeverythingtodowithhim,”Iargued.“Heliedtomeabouteverything.”
“Hedidn’tlieabouteverything.”
“Howdoyouknow?”Ichallenged.“Youknowwhat?Don’teven
answerthat.Itdoesn’tmatter.Whatdoesisthatheplanstoransommetothe
verypeoplewhodidthesehorriblethingstohimandcountlessothers.Heplans
tohandmeovertothepeoplewhowillmostlikelyusemeasabloodbaguntil
Idie.Andevenif,bysomesmallchance,thoseplanshavechanged,
theyonlydidsobecauseherealizedIwaspartAtlantian.Howisthatany
better?WhywouldImarryhim?”
“Whywouldhemarrysomeoneheplanstoransomoff?”he
queried.
“Exactly!”Exasperated,Imashedmylipstogetherasmy
focusshiftedtothedarknightbeyondKieran.“Idon’tevenknowwhywe’re
havingthisconversation.”
Hefellquietagain.“Youpushhimlikeyouhavenofear,
evenafterallyou’veseen?”
“ShouldIfearhim?”Iasked.Anincrediblystupidpartofme
almostdidn’twanttoknowtheanswer.I’dtrustedHawkewithmysecrets,my
desires,mybody,myheart,my…life.I’dtrustedhimwitheverything,
andnothingabouthimhadbeenreal.NoteventhenameHawke.
I’dstumbledand
trippedforhim,andIwasafraidthatIwouldkeepfallingdespitehisbetrayal.
ThatwaswhatIwasafraidof.
“Hehasdonethingssomemightfindunforgivable.Thingsthat
wouldhauntyoursleepandleaveyouwithnightmareslongafteryouwake.Hemay
hatebeingcalledtheDarkOne,buthehasearnedthatname.”Kieran’spaleeyes
metmineasashivercurleditswaydownmyspine.“Buthe’stheonethingin
allthekingdomsthatyou,andonlyyou,neverhavetofear.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter3
IfKieran’swordsweremeanttoreassureme,they’ddonethe
exactopposite.
Pacinginfrontofthenarrowwindowthatwastoosmallto
escapefrom,Istaredatthedoor.Ithadbeenlockedfromtheoutside.
Justlikeacell.
MyhandscurledintofistsasImadeanotherpassinfront
ofthewindow,angerminglingwiththeever-presentunease.Itwasn’twhat
KieranhadsaidaboutCasteelearningthetitleoftheDarkOne.Afterhow
coldlyandefficientlyCasteelhadkilledPhillips,theguardwho’dtraveled
withusfromMasadonia,Ialreadyknewhowheendedupwiththenickname.
SeeinghimtakeoutLandellwasonlyfurtherproofthathecould—andwould—kill
withouthesitation,but…
Istoppedsuddenly.Icouldalsokillwithouttoomuch
reluctance.Hadn’tIproventhatwithLordMazeen?WhenJerichoandtheothers
cameafterme,I’dbeenpreparedtokill.Mygazedroppedtomyhands.They
too,werecoveredinblood,andIcouldn’tsayitwasjustfromself-defense
andthenecessitytosurvive.LordMazeendeservedtheendinghegot.The
AscendedhadtakenthesameperversejoytheDukehadwhenitcametimeformylessons,
buthehadn’tattackedmewhenIturnedonhim.He’dinsultedVikterwithin
momentsofmyguardandfriendtakinghislastbreath,andIdidn’tfeelevena
smidgenofguiltforhowIhandledit.Evenifhehadn’tbeenavampry,hewas
stillamonster.MaybethatwaswhyIwasn’tshockedbywhatCasteelhaddone
inthehall.
Andthatquitepossiblymeanttherewassomethingwrongwith
me.Eitherway,itwaswhatKieranhadsaidbeforeheclosedthedoorthatmade
meangry.
ThatCasteelwastheonlypersonIneverhadtofear.
Kierancouldn’tbemorewrong.
Ilookedtothebedthen,andmystomachdippedasifIwere
standingontheedgeofaRise.Icouldalmostseeus,ourlimbsentwined,and
ourbodiesjoined.AnachingpulserolledthroughmeasItouchedthebitemark
onmyneck.Ishivered,thensearchedforahintofdisgustorevenfear.I
foundnone.
He’dbittenme.
Andhisbitehadhurt,butonlyatfirst,andonlyforafew
seconds.Then,ithadfelt…ithadfeltlikebeingdrownedinliquidheat.Ihad
neverfeltsomethingsointenseinmylife—hadn’tevenknownsomethinglike
thatwaspossible.Butitwasn’ttheeffectsofthebitethathadledtowhat
we’ddoneinthewoodswhilethesnowfellaroundanduponus.Ourbodieshad
cometogetherbecauseofmyattractiontohim.BecausehowIfeltforhimhad
beengreaterthanthetruthofwhatandwhohewas.Thatwaswhatdrovethis
needtounderstandhowhe’dgottentothispointinhislifeandwhyhewas
doingwhathewasnow.Itwaswhatfueledthisdesiretoforgeteverything
exceptfortheblissI’dfeltwhileIwasinhisarms—hislipsagainstmyskin,
andthepeaceandcompanionshipIexperiencedwhenweweresimplyspeakingto
oneanother.
ButIwasn’tsafewithhim.
EvenifCasteelneverraisedahandtome,Icouldn’tforget
whathewas.Whathe’dcaused.Vikter’sdeathmaynothavecomeatthetipof
Casteel’ssword,butithadbeenthejaggedbladesofthepeoplewhofollowed
him.AndwhatofLorenandDafina,theLadiesinWaitwhohaddiedduringthe
attackattheRite?TheyhadbeenexcitedtoAscend,butIdoubtedtheyhad
knownthetruth.Theyhadn’tdeservedtodieliketheyhad,murderedby
Descenterswhomostlikelydidn’tevenknowtheirnames.Again,ithadn’tbeen
byCasteel’shand,buttheactwascarriedoutinhisname.HowcouldIever
forgivehimforanyofthat?
AndwhatkepthurtingeverytimeIthoughtabouthimwas
thatheknewhowbadlyIdesiredfreedom.Tohavetheabilitytosimplychoose
something—anything—formyself.Whetheritbesomethingassimpleaswalking
whereIwanted,unveiled,orspeakingtowhoeverIwanted.Tosomethingasimportant
aschoosingwhoIsharedmybodywith.Heknewhowmuchthatmeanttome,and
hewastryingtotakeitaway.Myhearttwistedsopainfully,itfeltlike
someonehadthrustadaggerdeepintomychest.
What,ifanything,couldhefeelforme?
Myhearthurtdeeply,asifIweregrievingsomeone
whohaddied.Inaway,itwaslikethat.ImournedthelossofHawke,
anditdidn’tmatterthathestilllivedandbreathed.TheHawkeI’dgrownto
trust,themanI’dsharedmysecretswithwasgone.InhisplacewasPrince
CasteelDa’Neer,butIwasstilldrawntohim.Istillhadthatdesire,need,
andthe…
Thatwaswhyhewasthemostdangerouspersoninany
kingdom.Becausenopartofmedoubtedthatheplannedtousemetofreehis
brother,returningmetothesameAscendedwhohadheldhimcaptiveforfivedecades
andwhonowheldhissibling.
PressureclampeddownonmychestasIstartedpacingagain,
mythoughtsshiftingtoQueenIleana.MymotherandtheQueenhadbeenclose.
SomuchsothatwhenmymotherchosemyfatherovertheAscension,theQueenhad
allowedit.Thatwasunheardof.EvenrarerwashowtheQueenhadcaredforme
aftertheCravenattackasifIwereherownchild.Shehadchangedmy
bandages,satwithmewhenthenightmaresoftheattackcame,andheldmewhen
allIwantedwastobehuggedbymymotherandfather.Shewasthefirstto
teachmenottobeashamedofthescarswhenothersgaspedandwhisperedbehind
theirglovedhands.Duringthoseyears,andbeforeIwassenttoMasadonia,she’d
becomemorethanacaregiver.
AndaccordingtoCasteel,shehadbeentheonewhobranded
himwiththeRoyalCrest.
Icouldeasilyrememberherholdingmyhandaswetraveled
theRoyalGardensunderthestar-sweptskies.Herpatienceandkindnesshadseemed
never-ending,andyetthesamehandthathadheldminehadslicedintoCasteel’s
skin.IfwhatCasteelsaidwastrue,thesamesoftlyspokenvoicethat’dtold
mestoriesofmymotherwhenshewasalittlegirl,runningthroughthesame
pathswe’dwalked,hadalsofedanentirekingdomnothingbutblood-soaked
lies.IfCasteelweretellingthetruth,she’dusedthepeople’sfearofthe
creaturessheandotherslikeherhadcreatedtocontroleverysinglemortal.
Andifitallwastrue,thenhadtheQueenknownthewhole
timethatIwashalf-Atlantian?
Gods,thatwasalmosttoohardtoprocess.ButwhatofIan?
HowcouldhehaveAscended?CasteelhadsaidthatIanhadonlybeenseenat
night,andhebelievedthatIanhadAscended.Wasitthenlikesomeone
hadsuggestedatthedinner?WasIanmyhalf-brother?Ifoundithardtobelieve
thateitherofmyparentswould’vehadachildbysomeoneelse.Theirlovefor
eachotherwas…well,itwasthekindpeopleonlyhopedtofindforthemselves.
OrIcouldbeentirelyna?ve.BecauseifIanwasn’ttheirchild,
wheredidtheygethim?Onthesideoftheroadorsomething?
CasteelwouldlikelythinkthatIwasbeingfoolish.
NotthatIcaredwhathethought.WhattheQueenknewand
whetherornotIanwasmyhalf-brother,didn’tmatter.Mygazetrackeditsway
backtothedoor.
Ihadtoescape.
EvenwiththewarningCasteelhadlefthanginginthehall,
itwasevidentthathispeoplestillsawmeasthefigureheadfortheAscended.
Ididn’tthinkLandellhadsaidanylieswhenhespokehowmyancestrywouldn’t
mattertotheAtlantianpeople.Idoubtedthenewarrivalswouldwantanything
differentthantheothers.IthadsoundedlikeAlastirbelievedIshouldbein
acellinsteadofroamingaround.
AsifIwereallowedtodothat.
AndoncehebroughtmetoAtlantia,ifthatwastrulywhat
Casteelplanned,Iwouldbesurroundedbythem,andinanevenmoreprecarious
position.
Asmallseedlingofexcitementtookrootinmystomachwhen
IthoughtofAtlantia.Icouldn’thelpbutwanttoseethekingdom.Probably
becauseI’dhardlyseenanythinginmylife.Buttobeabletolookupona
placethatwasn’tsupposedtoexist?Thatwassomethingveryfewpeoplewould
everbeabletodo.
Sighing,Ishovedthosefeelingsandthoughtsaside.There
wouldbenoescapeifCasteelmanagedtotakemetoAtlantia.
KieranhadbeenwrongtoassumethatIwasfightingCasteel
toreturntotheAscended.Iwasfightinghimtoreturntomybrother.
IhadtogettoIan,butithadtobeonmyterms.IfI
somehowmanagedtolivelongenoughforCasteeltoexchangeme,Iwouldbe
goingstraightfromonecagetoanother.Thatcouldonlybeanoptionoflast
resort.So,IneededtogettoIanmyway.
Andthenwhat?
IknewIwouldn’tbesafeamongtheAscended,buttherewere
distantvillagesandtownsIcouldtrytocarveoutsomekindoflifein.
Slowly,Iliftedmyhandtomyface,myfingersfindingthe
longestscar.Itwouldbehardtohide,wouldn’tit?Iwouldhavetotry,though.
BecauseIrefusedtohidemyfaceeveragain.Icouldn’tlivelikethat.
ButthatwasabridgeIcouldn’tevenbegintocrossuntilI
figuredouthowtoescape,makemywaytothecapital,andfindIanwithout
gettingcaughtorkilled.
We’descapetheAscended
together.BecauseevenifIanwasn’tmyfull-bloodedbrotherandhadgone
throughtheAscension,hecouldn’tbeliketherest.Irefusedtobelievethat.
Therewasnowayhewouldfeedofftheinnocentandfromchildren.
TherewasnowaythatallAscendedwereevil.Somehadseemedrathernormal.
Butiftheydidn’tfeedoffthethirdsonsanddaughters
giventothegodsduringtheRite,thenhowdidtheysurvive?Theyneeded
blood.Ifnot,theywouldeventuallydiefromwhatevermortalwoundshadplagued
thembeforetheAscension.Ianhadbeenhealthyasahorse,buthewould’ve
beendrainedofnearlyallhisbloodbeforefeedingfromanAtlantianto
Ascend.Thatwould’vekilledhim,andcouldstillkillhimifhe
didn’tfeed.
IwantedtoseeformyselfwhatIanhadorhadnotturned
into.IwoulddoeverythingIcouldtohelphim.Butifhehadturnedintoa
monsterwhopreyedonothers?Onchildren?Thenwhat?Myheartsqueezed,butI
tookadeep,slowbreath.IknewwhatIwouldhavetodo.
Iwouldhavetoenditforhim,andIwould.
BecauseIanwasakind,gentlesoul—alwayshadbeen.Hewasadreamer,destined
tospintalesfortherestofhislife.Nottobecomeamonster.Therewasnoway
hewouldhavewantedtobecomesomethingsoevil.Endingthatnightmareforhim
wouldbethehonorablethingtodo.
Evenifitkilledapartofme.
Mymusclestensedforaction,andtheroomseemedthree
sizessmallerthanbefore.Icouldn’tspendonemoremomentinherewiththese
thoughts,notbeingabletodoadamnthing.
Iwasn’tsureifIcouldresistCasteel.
IfCasteelwereright,Ididn’tthinkIwouldsurvivemy
timeinAtlantia.
ButIcouldfindmybrother.
“AndIwillnotspendonemorefuckingmomentinthisroom,”
Isaidoutloud,stalkingtothedoor.Ileanedagainstit,listeningforany
soundsfromoutside.Hearingnothing,Irappedmyknucklesonthewood.
“Kieran?”
Silence.
Kieranwasn’tstandingguardbythedoor.Helikelythought
Iwassafelytuckedawayintheroom.Itwasn’tlikeIcouldkickitdownor
climboutthestupid,pointlesswindow.Heprobablythoughttherewasnoway
out.Andtherewasn’t,ifonedidn’thaveanolderbrotherwhohadtaughtthem
howtopicklocks.
MylipscurvedintoasmileasIspunaround.Igrabbedthe
meatknifeoffthetableandtookitbacktothedoor.Thebladewasthicknear
thehandle,buttheedgewasthinenoughtofitintothelock.
Kneeling,Islippedthepointintothekeyhole.Ianhad
taughtmehowtowiggletheknifearound,applyingpressuretotherightand
thentheleft,repeatinguntilIheardthesoftclick.BeforeIrequestedtobe
movedtotheolderpartofCastleTeermanthatcontainedtheoldservants’
access,allowingmetomoveaboutunseen,Iwasoftenlockedinsidemybedchambers
whileIanwasallowedoutforschooling,toplay,andtodowhatever.He’d
nevertoldmehowhelearnedtopickalock,buthespentmany,manyafternoons
teachingme.
“Youhavetobepatient,Poppy,”he’dsaid,
kneelingbesidemeasIjammedtheknifeintothekeyhole.He’dlaughedashe
placedhishandovermine.“Andgentle.Youcan’tcomeatitlikea
batteringram.”
So,Iwaspatient,andIwasgentle.Iwiggledtheknife
untilIheardthesoftsnickofthepointfindingthetumbler.Grabbingthe
handlewithmyotherhand,Iexhaleddeeplyasthemechanismgavealittle.I
willedmyhandtosteadyasIturnedcounterclockwise.
Thehandleturned,andthedoorcrackedopen.Coldairseeped
inasIpeekedoutside,peeringattheemptywalkway.
ArushofeuphoriahitmeasIclosedthedoor,scanningthe
room.TheleathersatchelwasalreadypackedwiththemeageritemsI’dbrought
withme.Iwenttograbit,butmygazestrayedtothebed,totheflannel
nightgownleftoutbysomeoneformetowear.Snatchingthatoffthebed,I
startedtoshoveitintothebagwhenIsawthethighsheathlyingontop.
Quickly,Istrappedthatonandslippedtheknifeinsideit,breathingthrough
thepangIfeltwhenIthoughtofmywolvenboneandbloodstonedagger.Could
itstillbelyinginthestables,lostunderpilesofstrawandhay?
Icrammedthenightgownintothebagandthendroppedthe
strapovermyheadandacrossmychest.Turning,Ipickeduptheheavy,
fur-linedcloak.Itwasadrab,darkbrown,chosenwhenweleftMasadoniasince
itwouldn’tcatchtheeye.Tossingitovermyshoulders,myfingersweresteady
asIsecuredthebuttonsalongtheneckofthecloak,eventhoughmyheart
pounded.Ituggedonmygloves,wishingthereweresuppliesintheroomother
thanwhatIthoughtwasliquorthatsatonthetablebelowthewindow.ButI
hadgonewithoutfoodbefore,usuallywhenDukeTeermanwasdisappointedin
somethingIdidordidn’tdo.Icouldgowithoutagain.
Ididn’thavemuchofaplan,andverylimitedknowledgeof
thesurroundingareas,butIknewthattravelingeastwouldtakemecloserto
theSkotosMountains.Supposedly,Atlantialay—andthrived—beyondthe
cloud-cappedpeaksandthefog-drenchedvalleys.IfIheadedthroughthetown,
IcouldfollowtheroadbacktoMasadonia,butthatwouldtakemestraightthrough
theBloodForest.IfIwentsouthwest,throughthewoods,Iwouldeventually
reach…whatwasthetown?MynosewrinkledasItriedtorecalloneofthemaps
I’dseeninthecity’sAtheneum.Ithadbeenold,theinkfaded,buttherehad
beenabridgedrawn—
Whitebridge.
ThetownofWhitebridgewastothesouth,butIhadnoidea
howfaritwouldbeonfoot.Cursingmyinexperiencewithhorses,Isprangforward,
openingthedoor.Walkwaystillclear,Islippedoutside,closingthedoor
behindme.Icouldlockitfromtheoutside,butthetimeitwouldtaketodo
thatwasn’tworththesecondsitwouldtakeforsomeonetounlockthedoor.
Ihurriedtothestairwell,stickingclosetothewall.
Stoppingatthedoor,Ilistenedforsignsoflife.WhenIheardnothing,I
enteredandraceddownthesteps,asurrealsenseofdejavuhittingmeasI
reachedthelanding.Iturnedtothedoorthatledoutside,justlikeIhad
afterstabbingCasteel.
IreallyhopedthishadadifferentoutcomeasIpulledup
thehoodofthecloak,thenreachedforthedoor,openingitslowly.
AfinelayerofsnowcrunchedundermybootasIsteppedout
intotheyard,thesoundminusculebutsoundinglikeacrackofthundertomy
ears.Drawinginadeepbreath,IremindedmyselfofallthetimesI’dsnuck
outontotheRisewithoutbeingseen,ormovedthroughoutthecastleandthe
city,neveroncebeingcaught—untilCasteel.
Iwasn’tgoingtothinkaboutthatrightnow.Iwouldthink
abouthowmuchIexcelledatsneakingoff,rightunderthenosesofmany.
Icoulddothis.
Mybreathpuffedoutinsmall,mistycloudsasIlookedto
theright,towardthestables.Couldthewolvendaggerreallybeinthere?
CouldIreallybestupidenoughtocheck?
Yes?
Thedaggermeant…well,itmeanteverythingtome.ButIan
wasmoreimportant—myfreedomwasmoreimportant.Goingtothestables
wastoomuchofarisk.There’dbestablehandsthere,Descentersandpossibly
evenAtlantiansorwolven.
Iwasn’tthatstupid.
“Dammit,”Imutteredandthenpushedawayfromthewall.I
ranfortheshadows,theedgesofmycloakstreamingoutbehindmeasIavoided
thelittorchesandtheirbutteryglow.
Ididn’tevenrealizeI’dmadeittotheforestuntilthe
silverymoonlightbecamefragmented,leavingjustenoughlightformetonotbe
takenoutbyatree.Ididn’tslow.IranfasterthanIeverhad,keepingthe
pacetoputasmuchdistancebetweenmeandthekeepaspossible.Whenmyboot
snaggedonanexposedroot,bringingmedownhard,mykneescrackingoffthe
frozenground,Iclimbedbacktomyfeetandransomemore,pushingpastthe
painandthecold,thedampairstingingmycheeks.Iranuntilthedullache
inmysideturnedintoastitchthatforcedmetoslow.Bythen,Ihadnoidea
howfarI’dtraveled,butthetreeswerelesscrowded,andthesnow-covered
groundwasuntouched.
PantingasIrubbedatmyside,Iforgedforward.There
couldn’tbemorethanaday’sridebetweenNewHavenandWhitebridge.So,on
foot?Adayandahalf,maybetwoifIrested.OnceIgotthere,Icouldfind
thenextgroupwhowastravelingtowardthecapital.Icouldgetlucky.Maybe
therewouldn’tbealongwait.Butifnot?Iwouldhavetomakedo,thoughthe
realconcernwasifWhitebridgewasascontrolledbyDescentersasNewHaven
was.Ifso,wouldtheyknowwhoIwas?Ididn’tthinkso.Veryfewpeopleknew
Iwasscarred.ButifCasteelgotwordout,justliketheAscendedwouldonce
wedidn’tshowatournextoutpost,Iwouldberecognized.AsfarasIknew,we
hadn’tplannedtostopatWhitebridge,butwhateverplanshadbeensharedwith
theDuchesshadn’tbeenreal.ButcouldIusemyidentity?IfIcouldproveto
anyofthemortalsorpossiblytheAscendedthatIwastheMaiden,thenIwas
sureIcouldsecuretraveltothecapital,andthenIcouldescapeoncewewere
inside.Thatwouldbearisk,butnothingaboutthiswassafe.Onlythegods
knewwhatlivedinthesewoods.Knowingmyluck,probablyacantankerousfamily
ofverylarge,veryhungrybears.I’dneverseenabearbefore,though,sothat
wouldbekindofanamazingsighttobeholdrightbeforeitchewedoffmyface.
ButatleastIdoubted—
Thesnappingofa
branchstoppedmeasIclimbedoverafallentree.Lookingdown,Isawnothing
butsmoothsnowandscatteredpineneedles.Iheldmybreath,skinpricklingas
Istrainedtohearanyothersounds.Acrackingnoisecameagain,thistime
closer,sendingaripplingwaveofwarinessthroughme.
Spinningaround,Iscannedthetreesandtheirlow-hanging
branches,weigheddownbythesnowandice.Wasthatthecauseofthatsound?
Branchesbreaking?Iturnedinafullcircle,slowerthistime,myeyes
wateringfromthecoldair.Myheadjerkedtotheright.Isquintedatthethicker,
deepershadowswherethemoonlightdidn’tquitepenetrate.Reachingintothe
foldsofmycloak,Ipulledthemeatknifeout.Ireallyhopeditwasn’ta
bear.Ididn’twanttohavetokilltheursine.IalmostlaughedbecauseI
doubtedtheknifewoulddomuchagainstabear.Mymusclestensedastheshadow
peeledaway,slinkingoutfromthegloom.Ijerkedbackastepatthesizeof
it,nearlyastallasaman,it’stawnyfurdustedwithsnow
Myheartsankallthewaytothetipsofmyfreezingtoesas
thewolvenprowledforward,itsmusclesbunchingandrollingundertheheavy
fawn-coloredfur.
Kieran
“Dammit,”Igrowled,tastingfuryinthebackofmythroat.
Hisearsflattenedasheclimbedhalfwayontothefallen
tree,theclawsofhisfrontpawsrippingintothewood.Hedroppedhischin,
thosepaleblueeyesalertaswestaredateachother.Hewaswaiting,probably
formetorun,butIknewthatwouldn’tendwellforme.Thesenseofhopelessness,
ofhowunfairthiswasalmostbroughtmetomyknees.
ButIstoodmyground.
Iwouldnotgiveup.
Thehandleoftheknifedugintomyglovedpalmasmyheart
slammedagainstmyribs.“I’mnotgoingbacktothekeep,”ItoldKieran.“You
willhavetoforceme,andIwillnotmakeiteasyforyou.Iwillfightyou.”
“Ifyou’relookingforafight…”cameavoicethatsenta
shiverdownmyspineandthenovermyskin.Myheadjerkedinthedirectionof
thesound.“You’llfightme,Princess.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter4
Casteel,garbedinblack,cutastrikingfiguresilhouetted
againstthesnowashestalkedforward.
HecametostandbesideKieran,andIsawthathewasarmed
withhistwoshortswords,thehandlesadeepchrome,andthebladesa
ruby-huedbloodstone.
TheknifeIheldhadneverfeltmorepatheticthanitdidin
thatmoment.
“IsupposeIwillneedtoaddlockpickingtothe
ever-growinglistofattributes,”Casteeldrawled.“Butwhatavery
un-Maiden-liketalenttohave.Thenagain,Ishouldn’tbethatsurprised.You
havemanyun-Maiden-liketalents,don’tyou?”
Isaidnothingasmyheartthrewitselfaroundmychest.
“Didyoureallythinkyou’descapeme?”Casteelasked
softly.
Angerwassharperthananyblade,farmorewelcomedthanthe
hopelessness.“Ialmostdid.”
“Almostmeansnothing,Princess.Youshouldknowthat.”
Idid.“I’mnotwalkingbacktothatkeep.”
“WouldyoupreferthatIcarryyou?”heoffered.
“Iwouldprefernevertoseeyourfaceagain.”
“Now,allthreeofusknowthat’salie.”Besidehim,Kieran
madeachuffingsound,andIconsideredchuckingtheknifeatthewolven’s
face.“I’llmakeyouadeal.”
IstayedalertashesteppedoverthefallentreeIhadas
ifitwerenothingmorethanabranch.“I’mnotinterestedinanydeals.I’m
interestedinmyfreedom.”
“Butyouhaven’theardwhatIhavetooffer.”Reaching
acrosshischest,heunstrappedoneoftheswords.“Fightme.Youwin,youcan
haveyourfreedom.”Hetossedtheswordsoitlandedinfrontofme.
Givingtheweaponaquickglance,Ilaughed,thesound
grittyagainstmyskin.“Asifhe’llletmecauseyouanyharm.”Ijerkedmy
headtoKieran.
Casteeltiltedhisheadasthewolven’searsperked.“Go
backtothekeep,Kieran.IwanttomakesurePoppyfeelsthisisfair.”
“Fair?”IseethedasKieranhesitatedforamomentandthen
pushedoffthefallentree.Twistingwithallthegraceofananimal,heloped
off.“You’reanAtlantian.Howwillfightingyoubefair?”
“Soyou’reafraidtolose,then?Orafraidtofightme?”
“Never,”Iswore.
Hesmirkedashiseyesflaredaheatedocher.“Thenfight
me.RememberwhatIsaidearlier?Iwantyoutobattleme.Ilookforwardto
it.Ienjoyit.Noneofthatwasalie.Engageme.”
Ofcourse,Irememberedwhathe’dsaid,buttherewasnoway
Icouldbeathim.Iknewthat.Heknewthat.However,therewasnoway
Iwouldstrollbacktomycageeither.NotwhenI’dspentmywholelifeinone.
Keepingmyeyesonhim,Islidtheknifebackintoitssheath
andunhookedthecloak,lettingitfalltotheground.Iimmediatelymissedthe
warmth,butthegarmentwouldbetoomuchofahazard.Iremovedthesatchel,
aswell,droppingitbytheoutergarment.
OneofCasteel’seyebrowsrose.“Isthatallyouwereplanning
toescapewith?Justsomeclothes?Noothersupplies?Nofoodorwater?”
“Icouldn’triskbeingcaughtshoppingfromthepantry,now
couldI?”Watchinghim,Ibentandpickeduptheshortsword,holdingitwith
twohands.Itwasnowherenearasheavyasabroadsword,butevenas
lightweightasitwas,Ididn’thavetheupperbodystrengthofthosewho
trainedforyearswiththem.VikterhadquicklyerasedthenotionthatI’dbe
abletowieldeitherwithonehandforanyextendedperiod.
“Morelikethiswasapoorlythought-outplan,oneborneof
panic.”
“Itwasnotborneofpanic.”Notexactly.Maybealittle.
“Idon’tbelievethat.You’resmarterthanthis,Poppy.”He
unsheathedtheothersword,slidingitfree.“Toodamnclevertoruninthemiddle
ofthenightwithnofood,nowater,andnothingmorethanapaltrymeatknife
forprotection.”
Iclampedmylipstogetherastheheatofangerwarmedmy
skin.
“DoyouknowhowlongitwilltaketogettoWhitebridgeon
foot?That’swhereyouwereheading,wasn’tit?Didyouthinkabouthowcoldit
getsinthemiddleofthenight?”hedemanded,ahintofangerhardeninghis
tone.“Atanypoint,didyoustopandthinkaboutthethingsthatcouldbein
thesewoods?”
Ihadn’t.Notreally.Andhewasright.Myplanwasn’tall
thatwell-thought-out.“Areyoudonetalkingyet?OrareyoutooafraidthatI
mightactuallybeatyou,soyouwon’tshutup?”
“Ilikehearingmyselftalk.”
“I’msureyoudo.”Thesnowpickedup,spiralingacrossthe
ground.
“Ready?”heasked.
“Areyou?”
“Always.”
Mygazedippedtohissword.Hehelditpointeddown,notat
theready.Therewasaninsultthere,whetherhemeantitornot.Blistering,
smokyrageburnedthroughme,spurringmeintoaction.
Charginghim,Ijabbedforhismidsection,butCasteelwas
fast,deflectingmyattackwithasimpleswipeofhissword.“Youshouldbe
aimingformyneck,Princess.Oristheswordtooheavyforyou?”
Lipsthinningatthetaunt,Iswipedtheswordhigh.He
blockeditandstruckout,notnearlyasfastashecould,consideringIcould
easilydanceoutofhisreach.
“You’veforgottenalotofwhatIsaidtoyou.”Heprowled
forward,cuttingoffmynextblowwithaswipeofhisblade.
“MaybeIchosetoignorewhateveritwasyouhadtosay.”Eyes
narrowing,Imovedtotheside.
“Eitherway,I’lldoyouafavorandrepeatmyself.”
“Notnecessary.”Itrackedhismovementsashecircledme.
Hewasfarmoreskilledwiththesword,justlikeVikterhadbeenwhenhe
trainedwithme.Whathadhetaughtme?Neverforgetoneofthemostimportant
weapons:theelementofsurprise.
Casteelstalkedme,swordraised.“Itseemsentirelytoo
necessaryformetorepeatmyself,consideringyourfoolishbehavior.”
Iwouldshowhimfoolishbehavior.
“Fightme.Arguewithme.Iwon’tstopyou.ButIwillnot
allowyoutoputyourlifeinjeopardy.Andthis?Tonight?Istheepitomeof
reckless,life-endangeringbehavior.”
“Youdidn’twantmetoarguewithyouearlier,”Ireminded
him,watchinghimcarefully.
“Because,asIsaid,youcanfightme,butnotwhenit
jeopardizesyourlife.”
“So,mylifewasinjeopardywithAlastir?”
“Iwasworkingonensuringthat’snotthecase.YethereI
aminstead,makingsureyouhaven’tgottenyourselfkilled.”
“Onlybecauseyouneedmealive.Right?Whatgoodwilla
deadMaidenbeasabarteringtoolwhenitcomestofreeingyourbrother?”
Hisjawflexed.“So,you’drathergetyourselfkilled?”
“I’dratherbefree,”Igrittedoutasthewindblewa
strandofhairacrossmyface.
Hisupperlipcurled,revealingonefang.“Ifyouthink
runningbacktotheAscendedwillgiveyoufreedom,thenI’veoverestimated
yourcritical-thinkingskills.”
“Ifyouthinkthat’swhatI’mplanning,thenI’ve
overestimatedyours,”Ireturned.
Casteelmadehismovethen,swinginghard.Isuspectedhe
plannedtoknocktheswordfreefrommyhand.Ifhelandedtheblow,he
would’ve,butIdartedintothesword’spath.Surprisewidenedhiseyesashe
drewthebladebacklikeIknewhewould.Iwasnogoodtohimdead.
Idippedunderhisarmandspun,kickingout.Mybootconnected
withhisstomach,pushingasharpcurseoutofhim.Straightening,Iswungthe
bladearound.Casteelshiftedtotheside,narrowlyavoidingaslicetothe
chest.
“Nicejob,”heremarked,hisvoicefreeofmockery.
“Ididn’taskforyourthoughts.”
Hisblademetmineinaclangofbloodstone.Forseveral
heatedmoments,thatwastheonlysoundinthewoodsaswethrustandparried.
Afinesheenofsweatdampenedmyforeheaddespitethecold,andeventhough
alltherunningcausedmymusclestonowweepinprotest,Irefusedtogivein.
Thiswasn’tafighttothedeath.Inthebackofmymind,I
knewthiswasn’tevenafightforfreedombecausenomatterwhatdealCasteelmade,
hewouldn’tletmego.Thiswasaboutwhodisarmedwhomfirst.Whodrewfirst
blood.Thiswasaboutdrivingoutthepent-uprageandthefesteringsenseof
helplessnessthathadresidedinsidemeforfarlongerthanIwascomfortable
admitting.Andmaybe,justmaybe,thatwaswhyCasteelwasallowingthis.
Theedgeofmyswordcameclosetonickinghisleftcheekas
hesweptthebladeaside,thedeflectionsendinganachingtremorupmyarms.I
wasbreathingfastwhileheshowednosignsoftiring.
Hemovedaroundmeinaslowcircle,hisswordonceagain
lowered.“DidIfrightenyoutonight?WithLandell?”heasked.Thearrogance
markinghisfeaturesslippedaway,revealingsomeoneelseentirely.“Isthat
whyyouran?Areyouscaredofme?”
Startledbythequestion—bythewayhealmostlookedafraid
tohearmyanswer—Iloweredtheswordaninch.
Itwasamistake.
Casteelstruckasfastasafalconwithitspreyinsight.
Hegrippedmyarm,spinningmesomybackwastohim.Itriedtotwist,buthis
armclampeddownonmywaist,pullingmebackagainsthischest.Hepressedhis
fingersintomywrist,forcingmyhandtospasmopen.Theswordfelltothe
snow.
“Ihadtodoit,”hesaid,dippinghisheadsohischeek
pressedagainstmine.“Noone,andImeannoone,speaksofyoulike
that.Threatensyouandlives.”
Mystupid,ridiculousheartskippedabeat.“That’sso
sweet,”Isaid,andIfelthisarmloosenaroundmywaist.“Butyoucheated.”
Jerkingtotheside,Islammedmyelbowintohisstomachas
hardasIcould.Casteelgrunted,lettinggo.Iwhirled,strikingfastinstead
ofgoingfortheswordhestillheld.Myfistcaughthiminthecornerofthe
mouth.Theshockofpainflaredinhiseyes,andIspun,dippinglowasIswung
mylegaround.Hejumped,butIcaughtoneleg,sweepingitoutfromunderneath
him.Hewentdown,andashoutofvictoryburstfrommeasIpoppedtomyfeet
andturnedtohim,breathingheavily.
Casteeldroppedhisswordasheroseontooneelbow,
dragginghishandoverhismouthashestaredupatme.Redsmearedthebackof
hishand,andasenseofviolentdelightsurgedthroughme.He’ddisarmedme
first,butI’dmadehimbleed.
“Justsoyouknow,I’ddoitagain—killathousandversions
ofLandell,”hesaid,dampeningsomeofthesatisfactionIfeltasIglancedat
theswordhe’ddropped.“AndIwouldn’tloseamomentofsleepoverit.Butyou
neverneedtofearme.Never.”
Mygazeflewtohis.Therewasnosmugnessinhiswords,no
teasinginhisstare.“Idon’tfearyou.”
Hisbrowsfurrowedinconfusion,andIseizedthatmoment,
shootingtowardthesword.Iwasn’tevenexactlysurewhatIwoulddowithit
onceIheldit.
Ididn’tgettofindout.
Casteelsnaggedmearoundthewaist,movingsosilentlythat
Ihadn’tevenheardhimstandorcomeatme.Hetookmetotheground,twisting
sohetookthebruntofthefall.Iendedupontopofhim.
“Thisremindsmeofthestables,”hespoketothebackofmy
head,andwhatevervulnerabilityhadbeeninhisvoicemomentsbeforewasnow
gone.Herolledmeunderhim.“Youwerejustasviolentthenasyouarenow.”
Hisweightandtheheatofhisbodyagainstmybackandthe
icinessofthesnowatmyfrontwasashocktomysenses,stunningme.
“Mostwouldn’tfindthatsuchanattractivequality.”His
voicewasawarmwhisperagainstmyear,invokingthoughtsoftangledsheets
andlushspice.
Therewasn’taninchofspaceseparatingus.Icouldfeel
himalongthelengthofmyback,overthecurveofmyrear,andwhereoneof
hislegswasshovedbetweenmine.Thedecadentscentofhimandthecrispness
ofthesnowfilledeverytoo-short,too-shallowbreathaseverypartofmybody
becameawareofhis.
“But…”hesaid,hismouthbrushingmyjaw,followedbythe
grazeofhissharpteeth,sendinganillicitthrillthroughme.Wouldhebite
me?Anachingheavinessfilledmychestandglidedlower,ignitingaburstof
disbelief.DidI…?DidIwanthimtodothat?No.Ofcourse,not.Icouldn’t.
Hislipscurvedagainstmyskin,againstthehealingbitemark.“I’mnotmost
people.”
“Mostpeoplearen’tasinsaneasyou,”Isaidinathroaty
voicethatwasn’tmine.
“That’snotaverynicethingtosay.”Hescrapedharder
withhissharpteeth,justbelowwherehe’dbittenmebefore,andIgaspedas
mybodyjerked.“Andthetruthis,youlikemybrandofinsanity.”
Mybloodpoundedthroughmeinadizzyingpush.“Idon’t
likeanythingaboutyou.”
Helaughedashis
lipsskimmedthesideofmythroat.“Ilovehowyoulie.”
“I’mnotlying,”Idenied,wonderingifhenudgedmyheadto
thesideorifIhaddonethat.Itcouldn’thavebeenme.
“Hmm?”Hislipshoveredoverthespotwheremypulse
flutteredwildly.“Yourpenchantforviolenceisn’tanythingtobeashamedof.
Notwithme.Haven’tItoldyouitturnsmeon?”
“Onetoomanytimes,”Isaid,pushingoffthegroundand
againstCasteel.Ifelthimagainstmeforabriefmoment,felttheproofof
hiswords.Thetightthrobbingresponsetotheknowledgemademequestionmy
sanity.
Casteelhadn’texpectedthemove,andheslippedtothe
side—ormaybehewasjusthumoringme.Probablythelatter.Eitherway,I
scrambledtomykneesandturnedonhim,throwingawildpunch.
Casteelcaughtmyhand.“ThenIguessitwouldberepetitive
ofmetotellyouhowmuchyou’returningmeonnow?”
“Thatandhowincrediblydisturbingitis.”
Hesmiledupatme,hiseyestwingoldenflames.“Idoso
preferhand-to-handcombatwithyou,”hesaid,catchingmyotherwristwhenI
swungmyfistdown.“Ilikehowcloseitbringsus,Princess.”
Ishriekedmyfrustration—myirritation—athim.Atmyself.
“Thereissomethingsowrongwithyou!”
“Probably,butyouknowwhat?”Heliftedhisheadoffthe
ground.“That’sthepartyoulikethemost.”
“Thereisnothing—”Myresponsediedonthetipofmy
tongue.Underhishead,thesnowseemedtoberisingofftheground,but
that…thatwasn’tright.Iliftedmygaze,seeingwhite,mistycloudsrolling
softlyalongthesnow.Mist.“Doyouseethat?
“What?”Casteeltwistedhishead.“Shit.Craven.”
Myheartstammered.“Ididn’tthinktherewereanyCraven
here.”
“Whywouldyouthinkthere’snoCravenhere?”Disbeliefrang
inhistone.“You’reinSolis.TheCravenareeverywhere.”
“Butthere’snoAscendedhere,”Iarguedasthemist
thickenedandspread.“HowcantherebeCraven?”
“ThereusedtobeAscendedhere.”Hesatup,bringingme
closer.“Theyfed,andtheyfedalot.ElijahandtheotherskeeptheCraven
back,butwithWhitebridgeontheothersideofthesewoods,andyoung,pretty
girlsblindlyrunningthroughtheminthemiddleofthenight,it’snotlike
theydon’thaveafoodsource.”
“Ididn’trunintothewoodsblindly,”Isnapped.
“Butyoudid,andyoudidn’tevenrealizetherewereCraven
inthesewoods.”Hisvoicehardenedwithhintsofhisearlieranger.“Andall
youhadwasadamnmeatknife.Whydidyourun,Poppy?”
Ahigh-pitchedshrieksentaboltofdreadthroughme.“Do
youthinknowisagoodtimetohavethisconversation?”
“Yes.”
Ishothimanincredulousstare.
“No?”hesaidandthenaddedasigh.Heroseasswiftlyas
theair,pullingmetomyfeet.Lettinggoofoneofmyarms,hebentand
swipeduptheswordhe’ddropped.
Anothershrillcrysounded,followedbythesoundof
snappingtreelimbs,freezingthebloodinmyveins.“Ithink—”
Casteelhauledmeagainsthischestwithoutwarning.Before
Iknewwhathewasevenabout,hismouthwasonmine,stealingmybreathand
scatteringmythoughts.Thekisswashotandraw,aclashoflipsandteeth.I
wasremindedagainofhow,asHawke,he’dheldhimselfbackwhenhekissedme,
andhowmuchhehid.Itwasn’tjustthefangs,itwasalsothepower—his
power.
Heliftedhismouthfrommine,hiseyesnearlyluminousas
hestareddownintomywideones.“Butwewillhavethatconversationlater,”
hepromised,thrustingtheswordintomyhand.“Makemefeelincompetentand
killmorethanme,Princess.”
Foramoment,IwasrootedtothespotwhereIstood,the
hiltoftheswordcoldagainstmypalm.TheCravens’screamsjoltedmefrommy
stupor.IturnedjustasCasteelpickeduptheothersword.Therewasnotime
tothinkaboutanything,especiallynotthekiss.Themistgrew,reachingour
knees—
Theystreamedoutfromaclusteroftrees,atideofsunken,
graybodies,baredfangs,andblazing,coal-redeyes.I’dneverseentheCraven
so…decayed.Theirskullswerebareofhair,oronlypatchy,clumpystrings
remained.Ribcageswereallbutexposedthroughtheraggedclothingtheywore.
Theyweresoemaciated,sowitheredawaythatIcouldn’thelpbutfeelpityfor
themortalstheyusedtobeandtherottingcorpsesthey’dbecome.
Ibracedastheyspilledoverthefallenbranchesand
boulders.Becauseevenintheircondition,theywerefast,andtheywouldbe
deadlyintheirbloodlust.
Thefirsttoreachmemayhavebeenawomanonce,giventhe
fadedyellowfrockandthejeweledringstillonherfinger.Shescreamed,
reed-thinlegspumpingasshereachedformewithoutstretchedhands,her
fingersendinginrazor-sharpclawsthatcouldeasilyshredskin.
Iwasproofofthat.
Herjawhungopen,exposingthetwoelongatedcaninesalong
thetop,andthetwothatjuttedupfromthebottom.Meetingherhalfway,I
thrusttheswordintoherchest.Rottenbloodspurted,fillingtheairwith
putridness.Ifthebladeweren’tbloodstoneorastakefashionedfromthetrees
withintheBloodForest,shewould’vekeptcoming,tearingherselfintwoto
gettome.I’dseenaCravendothatbefore.Butthebladewasbloodstone,andshewasdeadthemomenttheswordpiercedherheart.
Yankingtheweaponfree,Iturnedasshecrumpledtothe
ground.CasteelhadloppedofftheheadofaCraven,anothersurefirewayof
killingthem.Iwasn’tworriedforhim.Iimagineditwouldtakedozensof
Craven,ifnotmore,tooverwhelmanAtlantian.
PiercingthechestofanotherCraven,Icouldn’thelpbut
acknowledgethatiftherehadbeenanysemblanceoftruthbehindtheAscended’s
claimsoftheDarkOnecontrollingtheCraven,Idoubtedthey’dbetryingto
riphisskinopenrightnow.Ialreadyknewthatthough,havingseentheCraven
goafterhimintheBloodForestbefore.Thiswasjustmoreevidenceofthe
truthhespoke.
AndtheliesI’dbeentold.
FuryenergizedmeasIslicedthebloodstonethroughthe
neckofaCraven,severingitshead.Iwhirledfromthegore,onlytocome
face-to-facewithghastly,inhumaneyes,andsnappingteeth.Amomentofpure,
unadulteratedterrorswampedmewhenmygazelockedwiththeCraven’s.Itthreatened
totossmebackthroughtheyearstowhenIcouldn’tkeepmygriponmymother’s
slippery,blood-soakedhandasthepainofthefirstclawandthenthefirst
biteturnedintoanever-endingnightmare.
Iwasn’tasmall
childnow,incapableofdefendingmyself.Iwasn’tweak.Iwasn’tprey.
Witharage-filledshoutIbarelyrecognizedasmine,I
jabbedthebladethroughtheCraven’scaved-inchest.Theungodlylightwentout
initseyes,thelastvestigesoflife.
“Six,”Casteelcalledout.“You?”
“Four,”Ianswered,calmingmyselfasIalmostwishedI
didn’tknowwhathe’dmeant.IdartedunderthearmsofanotherCraven,driving
thesworddeepintoitsback.“Five.”
“Shameful,”heteased,andIrolledmyeyes.
AwailingCravenjerkedmyheadaround.Itracedtowardme,
andIsteppedin,grippingthehiltwithbothhandsasIshovedtheblade
throughitschin.Tearingtheswordfree,Isawthatthemistwasallbutgonenow.
HeartthumpingasCasteeldrovehisbladethroughthelast
Craven,Iloweredthesword.Takingastepback,Idraggedindeepbreaths.As
hepulledhisweaponfree,hisheadswiveledinmydirection.Ididn’tknowif
hewaslookingtoseeifIwasstillstandingortomakesureIwasn’trunning
away—orathimwiththesword.
Hedidn’thavetoworryaboutthelasttwothings.Iwasfar
tootiredtorunanywhere.
“Iwashopingtohavethechancetorescueyou.”Casteel
bent,wipinghisswordcleanonthelegofthefallen’spants.“Butyoudidn’t
needmyhelp.”
“Sorrytodisappointyou.”MygazeshiftedtotheCraven
beforeme.Heworenoshirt,andthatwashowIcouldseethewoundonhis
stomach,fourdeepindentationsalonghiswaistthatwereanuglyshadeof
purple,whereastherestofhisskinwasthecolorofdeath.Hehadn’tbeenfed
uponbyanAscended.Iwonderedhowoldhe’dbeenbeforeaCraven’sbitehad
cursedhim.Whathadhe’ddoneforaliving?WasheaguardoraHuntsman?A
banker?Afarmer?Didhehaveafamily?Childrenwhohadbeenrippedapartin
frontofhim?“DidItellyouthataCravenbitme?”
“No,”heansweredquietly.“Where?”
“Onmyleg.Scarredasitisnow,itlookslikeclawsdid
it,butitwasfangs,”Isaid,unsurewhyIwastalkingorthinkingaboutthis.
“IneverunderstoodwhyIsurvivedthebitewhileeveryoneelsebittenwas
cursed.I’dplannedtotellyouaboutitafterwewere…together,butthings
happened.Ididn’tsayanythingbeforebecauseitwasanotherthingIwastold
tokeepsilentabout.TheQueentoldmeitwasbecauseIwastheMaiden,the
oneChosenbythegods.ThatwaswhyIdidn’tturn.ButIwasn’tchosenby
anythingoranyone.”Ilookedoverathim.“It’sbecauseI’mpartAtlantian,
isn’tit?”
Slippinghisswordintothescabbardashewalkedtowardme,
hestoppedbesideme.“ACraven’sbitedoesnotcurseanAtlantian,butin
enoughnumbers,andIsupposedependingoniftheymanagedtoseverourheads,
theycouldkillus.”
“IthinkthereasonIwasneverallowedtousemygiftor
tellanyoneaboutthebitesisbecausethosethingsareAtlantiantraits,”I
said.“MaybetheAscendedwereafraidthatifpeopleknew,someonewould
realizewhatthatmeant.”
“Didanyoneknow?”heasked.
“Vikterknewabout
thebitesandmygift,butTawnydidn’t.Mybrotherdid—Imean,hedoes.
Heknows.”Mybrowsknotted.“AndtheTeermans.”
“ThereareAtlantiansamongtheDescenters.Ifoneofthem
hadbecomeawareofyourgiftorthebite,theywould’veknown.”Heliftedhis
handtomycheek.Itensedashesmoothedhisthumbdownthesideofmyfaceto
belowthescar.“Cravenblood,”heexplained,wipingitaway.Hiseyesmet
mine.“IfI’dknownthosemarkswerebites,Iwould’verealizedwhatyouwere
rightaway.”
“Yeah,well….”Itrailedoff.“Wouldthathavechanged
anything?”
Hedidn’tanswerforalongmoment,andthenhesaid,“No,
Poppy.Youbeingmortalorhalf-Atlantianwouldn’thavechangedwhatwas
alreadyhappening.”
“Atleastyou’rehonest.”AnachepiercedmychestasI
draggedmygazefromhisandlookedovertheCraven.They’dcomefromthe
directionI’dbeenheading.Iletoutaheavybreath,knowingIwouldn’thave
survived.TherewasnowayIcouldhavetakenonadozenCravenbymyself.And
onlywithameatknife.Icouldadmitthat.Iwould’vediedtonight,andthat
wasn’tthekindoffreedomI’dbeenlookingfor.
Forsomereason,Ithoughtaboutwhathe’dsaidtome
before,duringwhatfeltlikeadifferentlife.“Doyouremembersayingthat
youfeltlikeyouknewmewhenwemet?”
“Ido.”
“Wasthatalie?”
Hisfeatureshardenedandthensmoothedout.“Wasitalie
toyou?”
Ishookmyheadno.“Why,then?”
Thicklasheslowered.“Ithinkit’stheAtlantianbloodin
usrecognizingeachother,showingtheconnectioninafeelingthatwould
probablyeasilybeoverlooked,”CasteelsaidasIfelthishandovermine,over
theoneholdingthesword.Heslippeditfrommygrasp,andIdidn’ttryto
fighthim.Iwatchedashecleanedthebladeandthensheatheditnexttothe
other.
Imethisgazeagain.“I’mnothandingoverthemeatknife.”
“Iwouldn’texpectyouto.”Along,silentmomentpassed
betweenus.“It’stime.”
Iknewwhathemeant.Itwastimetogoback.Anditwas.
Thefightforthisbattlehadleftme.“I’lltrytoescapeagain.”
“Ifiguredasmuch.”
“I’mnotgoingtostopfightingyou.”
“Iwouldn’twantyouto.”
Ithoughtthatwasweird.“AndI’mnotgoingtomarryyou.”
“We’lltalkaboutthatlater.”
“No,wewon’t,”Isaid,startingtowardmycloakwithweary
steps.Idrewupshort,cursingundermybreath.
“What?”Casteelfollowed.
“There’sadeadCravenonmycloak.”Isighedheavily.
“Thatwasanespeciallyinconvenientplaceforittofall.”
Henudgeditoffthecloak,butthedamagewasalreadydone.Icouldseeand
smelltherottenbloodstainingthegarment.
“IfIputthaton,Iwillvomit,”Iwarnedhim.
Pickingupmysatchel,hedrapeditoverhisshoulderashe
rose.“Youranfar.FartherthanIthoughtyouwouldget,”hesaid.Sincehe
wasn’tlooking,Iallowedmyselfasmallsmile.“ButIdon’tthinkyou’llfreeze
todeathonthewayback.Thenyou’llrest,”hesaid,facingme.“You’llneed
allyourstrengthforthebattlesahead,Princess.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter5
Thetripbacktothekeepwasquietandlong.Thewindhad
pickedup,batteringbothofus.I’dbeguntowonderifthegodshadawakened,
andthiswastheirpunishment.Afterall,ifeverythingCasteelandtheothers
hadclaimedwastrue,wasn’tIascounterfeitastheQueenandKingofSolis?
I’ddoneeverythingpossibletohandlehowmuchthecoldhadbeguntoaffect
me,butitseemedimpossibletohideanythingfromCasteel.Halfwaythroughour
journey,heendedupwrappinghisarmaroundmyshoulders,tuckingmecloseto
himasweforgedforward,hisbodyabsorbingthebruntofthewind.
Godshelpme,butIdidn’tresist.Ichalkedituptobeing
fartootiredandcold.Ithadnothingtodowithhislushscentmaskingthe
stenchoftheCraven.Itdidn’thaveanythingtodowithhow…gooditfeltto
leanonsomeone,forthemtotaketheworstofthewind,tocarrytheirweight
andmine.Nordidithaveanythingtodowiththesimpleluxuryofbeing
allowedthisclosetosomeonewithoutfearofreprimandorbeingfound
unworthy.
Casteelwasjust…warm.
Whenwefinallymadeitbacktothekeep,therewasno
tellingwhattimeitwas.Butdespitemyfailure,Iwelcomedthewarmthoftheroom.
Iwasawalkingicecube,unabletofeelmynose,andunsureifitwaseven
stillattached.
WhatIdidnotwelcomewasfindingKieranwaitinginsidethe
room,sittinginthecornerchairbythefire.
Helookedup,oneeyebrowraised.“Whattookyoutwoso
long?Iwasactuallybeginningtowonderifshebeatyou.”
“Youseemrealconcernedsittingthere,”Casteelreplied,
usheringmetowardthefireplace.Iallowedit,asIwasshiveringsobadly,I
sworemybonesweretrembling.
Kierangrinned.“Iwasbesidemyselfwithworry.”
Casteelsnorted.“Weworkedthingsout.”
“No,wedidn’t,”Igrittedoutbetweenchatteringteeth.
Ignoringthat,Casteelpriedmyclenchedhandsapart.“We
ranintosomeCraven,”hetoldKieran,tuggingmydampglovesoff.Hedropped
themontothehearth.“Alittleoveradozen.”
KierantiltedhisheadatmeasCasteelmovedtotheside,
slippingoffmysatchel.“Wonderhowthatwould’veworkedoutforyouwithyour
meatknife.”
“S-shutup,”Istammered,holdingmyfingersasclosetothe
fireasIcouldwithoutshovingthemintotheflames.
“Sheknowsitwouldn’thaveworkedoutallthatwellfor
her.”Casteelshovedahandthroughhissnow-kissedhair,draggingthethick
strandsback.“That’swhyshe’scranky.”
“Idoubtthat’stheonlyreason,”Kieranremarked.
Ishothimalookthatwould’vewitheredhimonthespotif
hecared.
Apparently,hedidn’tcare,atleastbasedonhowhisgrin
kickedupanotch.“Ihadabathdrawn.Thewaterwouldbewarmerifyouhad
simplycomebackwithouttoomuchtrouble.”
Ialmostracedstraighttothebathingchamber,buttheway
hesaid,“toomuchtrouble”drippedwithamusement.“Doyouexpectathank
you?”
“Itwouldbenice,”hereplied.“DoubtIwillgetone,though.”
WarmthcreptbackintomyfingersinapricklyrushasI
sparedaquick,longinglooktowardthebathingchamber.“Yourexpectations
wouldbecorrect,then.”
“Theyusuallyare.”Hestudiedmeforamomentandthenrose
fromthechair.“I’llwrangleupsomemenandgooutandtakecareofthe
Craven.”
“I’llcomewithyou,”Casteelsaid,andIglancedoverat
himinsurprise.HecaughtmystarebeforeIcouldlookaway.“Wedon’tlet
themlayoutthereandrot.Theywereoncemortal,”heexplained.“Weburn
them.”
ThesamewasdoneinMasadoniawhenevertheCravenreached
theRise,butitwasthefactthathewasvolunteeringtogobackout
therethatshockedme.Iwould’veexpectedthatfromHawke,butthiswasthe
Prince.Anditwasfreezingout.Thenagain,hedidn’tappearevenremotely
fazedbythecold.
Ibitdownonmyliptostopmyselffromasking,butthat
didn’twork.Curiosityalwaysgotthebestofme.“Doesthecoldnotaffect
you?”
“Ihavethickskin,”heanswered,andIfrowned,notsureif
thatwastrue.“Togoalongwithmythickskull.”
NowthatwassomethingIwassureof.
“Iwouldaskthatyouholdoffonanymoreattemptsat
escapetonight.Makeuseofthebathandrest,”Casteelsaid,andIgrittedmy
teeth.“Butincaseyoufeelliketestingouthowmuchcoldyourbodycan
withstand,justknowthatDelanowillbestandingguardoutsidethisroom.”
PoorDelano,Ithought.Thelasttimeheplayed
guard,thingshadn’texactlybeeneasyforhim—orme.
CasteeljoinedKieranatthedoor.HewashalfwayoutwhenI
heardhimsay,“Behave,Princess.”
Athousandretortsrosetothetipofmytongueasmyheadwhipped
towardhim,buthewasalreadyclosingthedoor.Iletoutaratherfilthy
curse,andasthelockclickedintoplace,Iheardhimlaugh.
InsteadofrunningandkickingthedoorlikeIwantedto,
whichwouldservenopurposebuttobruisemyfrozentoes,Itoremyselfaway
fromthefire.Unhookingthethighsheath,Iplaceditneartheflamessoit
woulddry.Ilefttheknifeonthesmallwoodentablebythebedandthen
quicklystrippedoutmynearlyfrozenclothing.Leavingtheminapilebythe
fire,Ihurriedtothebathingchamber.Severaloillampshadbeenlit,casting
asoftglowoverthetubandseveralpitchersstillfulloffreshwater.Dipping
myfingersintothewater,Iwasrelievedtofindthatitwasstillwarm.
Iprobablyshould’vethankedKieransinceithadbeena
consideratethingtodo.
Buthewasalsopartytomycaptivity,soIshouldn’tbetoo
grateful.Iwouldn’t
Rollingmyeyesatmyself,Isteppedintothetub.AsIsank
intothewarmwater,wincingasitmetmychilledskinandscrapedknees,the
realityoftonightsetinlikeleadballsinmystomach.NeitherCasteelnor
KieranhadbeenanywhereneartheroomwhenImademyescape,andyetthey’d
stilldiscoveredmyabsence.MaybeI’dwaitedtoolongtoleave,andoneof
themhadalreadybeenontheirwaytomyroom.
IdrapedmybraidovermyshoulderasIgrabbedthebarof
lilac-scentedsoapandstartedscrubbingvigorouslyatmyskin.Itwouldn’t
havematteredifIhadleftsooner.Theystillwould’vefoundme,eitheralive
or…torntopiecesbytheCraven.
Myescapehadbeenfoolishandill-planned,borneofmyneed
tofindmybrotherand…yes,panic.NotbecauseofwhatCasteelhaddoneinthe
banquethall,butbecauseofthesoul-crushingsenseofhelplessnessand…
Lettingthesoapslipthroughmyfingers,Iliftedmyhand
tothebiteonmyneck.Anachypulsecoiledlowinmystomach.That.Thathad
alottodowithwhyIran.
Iopenedmyeyes,fishingthebarofsoapfromthewater.In
thequietstillnessoftheroom,Irecognizedthetruthofmysituation.Escape
wouldbenearlyimpossible,evenwithlongerleadtime,suppliesincluding
bloodstone,andmoreamicableweather.
Kieranwouldtrackme.
Casteelwouldcomeforme.
Sighing,Ileanedbackagainstthetubandstayedinthe
wateruntilIalmostforgothowcoldI’dbeen.Finally,Iclimbedout.After
dryingoff,Ipulledthenightgownfrommybag,relievedtofindthatitwas
dry.Islippeditonandthenclimbedintobed,slowlyundoingmybraid.The
endsofmyhairwerewet,butthey’ddry.Icurleduponmyside,facingthe
door.
Thewarmthoftheblanketslulledmetosleep,despitemy
racingthoughts.Itcouldn’thavebeenmorethananhourbeforeadeeplaugh
fromoutsidejoltedmefrommyslumber.
Casteel.
Hewashere,outsidethebedchamber.Why?Mymindimmediately
wentinseveraldirections.OneofthoseflashedimagesofhimandIall
twistedtogether—
Ijumpedfromthebedasifthemattresshadcaughtfire,
grabbingtheknife.
Hecouldn’tbeheretomakesureIwasstillinside,not
withDelanostandingguardoutside.Whywashehereinsteadofhisquarters
whenhehadtobeexhaustedfromthenight’sevents?
Myheartstammered.
Hemusthavehisownbedchamber…right?Ilookedaround,my
heartthumping.Thiswashisbedchamber.
Atthesoundofthegrindingofthelock,Iturned.
Thedoorswungopen,lettinginagustofcold,dampair
thatruffledtheflamesofthefireplace.Andhe…
Casteelprowledinasifhehadeveryrighttodoso.Hehalted
themomenthesawmeandwhatIheld,sighingheavily.Closingthedoorbehind
him,hewaswiseenoughtonottakehisgazeoffme.
“Poppy,”hestarted.“Asyouknow,it’sbeenalongdayand
night.AndwhileI’mrelievedtoseethatyoudidn’tmanagetoevadeDelano,
anddespitethatIthinkyoulookratheradorableinthatgown,holdingthat
tiny,littleknife—”
Ithrewtheblade,aimingforhisheadjustlikehe’dtold
metodo.
Steppingaside,Casteelsnatchedtheweaponoutoftheair.
Iknewhowfasthewas,butitwasstillshockingtoseehowquickhecouldbe.
Itstolemybreathevenasaninfuriatingvoicewhisperedinthebackofmy
mindthatIhadknownhe’deasilyavoidtheknife.
Acursehissedthroughhisteethashisfingersclosedaround
theblade.Bloodtrickledbetweenhisfingers,andIdidn’tfeelevenakernel
ofguiltashestaredathishand.Well,perhapstherewasatinybitof
remorse—nolargerthanthesizeofagnat,though.Hehadn’tdoneanythingat
theexactmomentintimetotrulyearnaknifebeingthrownathis
face,butIwassurehewouldbemorethandeservinginafewminutes.
Slowly,heopenedhisfingers,droppingtheknifetothe
floor.Theblood-soakedbladeclangedoffthewood.“Thatisthesecondtime
you’vedrawnbloodtonight.”Helookedoveratme.Atensemomentpassed,and
hethenraisedonedarkbrow.“You’resoincrediblyviolent.”
“Onlyaroundyou,”Ishotback.
Hislipscurledintoahalf-grin,revealingthedimpleinhis
rightcheek.“Now,youknowthat’snottrueatall.”Walkingtowardthebasin
justinsidethebathingchamber,hewashedhishand.“Butyouknowwhatis
true?”
MyjawachedfromhowtightlyIwasclenchingitasItold
myselfnottoask.MaybeifIignoredhim,he’dgoaway.Highlyunlikely,but
onecouldalwayshope.
Casteellookedoverhisshoulderatme,waiting.
Frustrationburnedthroughme.“What?”Idemanded.“What’s
true?”
Hesmiledthen,arealone.Bothdimpleswereonfull
display,andtheyweren’ttheonlything.Nolongerneedingtohidewhathewas
behindatight-lippedsmile,therewasahintoffangs.Mybreathhitchedinmy
throat.Ididn’tknowifitwasthefangsorthedimples.Orthegenuinewarmth
inhissmile—andI’dseenallhissmilestoknowwhichoneswerereal:The
half-curlofhislipsthatsaidhewasamused.Thepredatoryonethatreminded
meofalargecatwhosepreyhadmadeafoolishmistake.Thecoldcurvetohis
mouththatneverreachedhiseyes.Thetwistofagrinfullofbarelybanked
violencethatwasapromiseofbloodshed.Thosesmilesmaynothavebeen
directedatme,noteventonightwhenwesquaredoffinthewoods.ButI’dseen
themall.
Butthiswasthekindofexpressionthatsoftenedthe
strikinglinesofhisfaceandturnedhiseyesfromcoolambertowarmhoney.
Andtome,itwasthemostdangerousofallhissmiles.Hewasn’tmadI’d
thrownaknifeathimandmadehimbleed,butwarningbellswentoff
nonetheless.Thesekindsofsmilesbeggedformetoforgetrealityandallthe
liesandbloodthathadbeenshed.
TheymademethinkofhimasHawke
Instincttriggeredself-preservationevenashissmile
tuggedatmyfoolishheart,andthesensationslidlower,spiralingtight.
Casteelturnedtome,hishandopen.Therewasnoblood.No
woundexceptforafaintpinklineacrossthecenterofhispalm.“Itstill
turnsmeon,Princess.”
Iexhaledashrillbreath.“IfeellikeI’vesaidthisa
hundredtimes,butitneedstobesaidagain.There’ssomethingwrongwith
you.”
Heliftedhisshoulderinahalf-shrug.“Somebelieve
there’ssomethingwrongwithallofus,andItendtobelievethat.”
“Ididn’trealizeyouweresophilosophical.”Iglancedat
theknifeonthefloorwhileheemptiedthebasinintoabucket.Therewasno
wayhe’dforgottenthatIhadit,orthatitlaytherenow.Washewaitingto
seewhatIwoulddo?
“There’salotyoudon’trealizeaboutme,”hereplied,
returningtothebedchambertoretrievethepitcherofwaterwarmedbythe
fireplace.“Icannotwaittoreturnhome,tothelandwhereallyouneedtodo
forhotwateristurnafaucethandle.”
“I—what?”Iturnedtohim.“Whatdoyoumean?”
Thehalf-grinwasback.“InAtlantia,allhomeshaverunning
hotwaterthatgoesstraighttotheirtubsandsinks.”
“Youlie.”
Hesentmealookasheplacedthepitcheronthestandbeside
thebasin.“WhywouldIlieaboutsomethinglikethat?”
“Becauseyou’realiar?”Ireasoned.
Looseningthecollarofhistunic,hetskedsoftly.“Poppy,
youwoundme.Inmyheart,”hesaid,placinghishandoverhischest.“Again.”
“Don’twhine.You’llheal.Again,”Isnapped.
“Unfortunately.”
Hechuckled.“I’mnottheonlyonewhoisaliar,itappears.”
Reachingdown,hegrippedthehemofhistunic.“You’dbeverysadifIdidn’t
heal.”
“Iwouldn’tcare—”Myeyeswidenedashepulledthetunic
overhishead.“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Whatdoesitlooklike?”Hegesturedatthetub.“Ijust
hadmyhandsalloverwhatarebasicallyrottencorpses.I’mwashingup.”
Foramoment,Icouldn’tfindanywordsasheturned,
pouringthewarmwaterintothetub.Partlyduetodisbelief,thoughalso
becausehewas…damn,hisbodywasaworkofart,evenwithnumerousnicksand
thinslicesIcouldbarelyseeinthesoftlamplight.“Whyareyoudoingthat
inhere?”
“Becausethiswasmyroom.Andforwhatisleftoftonight,
whichisn’tverymuch,it’sourroom.”Hebentoverthetub,pickingupthe
pitchersofwaterIhadn’tused.Themusclesalonghisshouldersandbackmoved
underthetautskinininterestingways.
Myheartclamored.“Iusedthewaterinthetub—”
“Thewateriscleanenough,”heinterrupted.“AndI’ve
sharedfardirtierwaterwithfarlessintriguingpeople.”
“Couldn’tyougotoanotherroomandhaveabathallto
yourself?Withfreshwater?”Isuggested.“I’msuremanyherewouldbeeagerto
servetheirPrince.”
“Therearemanyherewhowouldbegladtoserveme.”Helooked
atme,browsraised.“Butleaveyoualone?Whenyoucouldtakeallkindsof
reckless,albeitexcitingaction?Idon’tthinkso.Ican’thavesomeone
standingoutsideyourroomallnight.Theyneedtheirrest.Ineedtorest.”
“Why?Becausewe’releavingtomorrow?”
“Notwiththestormblowingin.Itwillmaketravelfartoo
difficult,”hetoldme.“Youknow,thesamestormyouwould’vegottencaughtin
ifyoudidmanagetoescape.”Hishandsloweredtotheflapofbuttonsonhis
breeches—
Iquicklylookedaway.“Ican’tbelieveyou’redoingthis.”
Casteelchuckled.“Notlikeyouhaven’tseenitallbefore.”
“Thatdoesn’tmeanIneedtoseeitallagain,”Ishotback
asIheardthesoftrustleoffabrichittingthestonefloor.
“Interestingwordchoices.”
TellingmyselfIshouldn’tandsomehowbeingunableto
resist,Ipeekedatthebathingchamber—
Icaughtsightofbronzedskindustedwithdarkhair,strong
thighs,andthesleek,muscledcurveofhisbackside.Hisbodytrulywasawork
ofart,allthenicksoddlyaddingtotheperfection.
“Youcould’vesaidyoudidn’twanttosee
everything,”Casteelcontinued,startlingmeenoughthatIlookedaway,cheeks
flaming.Watersloshedagainstthesidesofthetubasheclimbedin.“Youcan
looknow.I’m…somewhatproper.”
Ifoldedmyarmsacrossmychest.
“Although,notnearlyproperenoughforyourbarely
ex-Maideneyes,”hecontinued.ThistimeIspuntowardthebathingchamber.All
Icouldseewasthebackofhisheadandthebreadthofhisshoulders,which
wasmorethanenough.“ButIimagineyourissuehasnothingtodowithwhatis
properorexpectedofyou,isit?You’veneverbeenonetofollowtherules.”
Ishookmyheadeventhoughhecouldn’tseeashereached
forthesoap,latheringthebarbetweenhishands.Hewasright.Ididn’tcare
aboutwhatwasproperorexpected,andthatwaslongbeforehesweptintomy
lifelikeafiercestorm.Buttherewasnowayhewasstayinginthisroomwith
me.Tearingmygazefromhim,Iturned—
“Gofortheknife.”Casteel’svoicestoppedme.
Myheadsnappedbackinhisdirectionaswatersplashed.How
hadheknown?
“That’swhatyouwant,right?Ifitmakesyoufeelsafer,I
don’thaveaproblemwithit.”Hesplashedhisface.Waterrandownhisneck
andoverthedelineatedlinesofhisshoulders.“Takeit,Poppy.”
Mymouthdried.“You’renotafraidI’lluseitagainstyou
whileyoutakeyourtimebathing?”
“I’mcountingonyoutouseitagain.Ifyoudidn’t,I’dbe
shocked.That’swhyIdidn’tbringmyswordsintotheroom.Figuredyou’d
probablygraboneofthem.”
Iwouldiftheywerenear.Myhandsopenedandclosedatmy
sides.Hewasofferingmesomelevelofprotection,asenseofsafety,andto
some,thatwouldbeseenasapositive.Nottome.Itwaskindofoffensiveand
pointless.HeandIbothknewtheknifewouldonlymakehimbleedtemporarily.
Istillhurriedovertowheretheknifelayandpickedit
up,myrisingirritationhaltingwhenIsawthebloodontheblade.Hisblood.
MystomachtwistedasIrose.
“Doyouwanttoknowaboutthelandofhotwaterthatawaits
withjusttheturnofaknob?”heaskedamidstthetricklingofwater.
Yes,Idid,eventhoughIwasn’tsureIbelievedthatsucha
thingexisted.YetIsaidnothingasIpickedupthetowelI’dusedearlier.Iwiped
theknifeclean.
“It’sbroilersandpipes,”hewentaheadandexplained.“The
pipingrunsfromthebroilersthatareusuallyinaroomoffthekitchen.From
there,theycarrythehotwatertowhereverit’sneeded.”
Reluctantly,myinteresthadbeenpiquedandwasnow
stroked.“Whatdoyoumeanbybroilers?”
“They’relike…largeovenswherecombustiblematerialheatsa
storagetankofwater.”Herosewithoutwarning,andallthatwatersluicing
downthegleamingskinofhisback,between—
Heartpounding,Iwhirledawayfromthebathingchamber.A
handfulofsecondspassed,andIlookedovermyshoulderjustashewalkedout
ofthesmallerroom,atoweltuckedaroundhiswaist.Hewas…Ihadnowordsto
describehislevelofindecency.OrmaybeIhadtoomanywordsinmyhead—
Casteelsmiledatmeashestrodeacrosstheroom,openinga
narrowcabinetinthewallthatIhadn’tinvestigated.Hepulledoutwhatappeared
tobeblackpants.“Electricityaidsthebroilers,andyes,inAtlantia,all
homesandbusinesses,nomatterwhoresidesinsidethem,havepower.”
Fixingmygazeonthefire,Ithoughtaboutwhathe’dsaid.
Ifonlywhatheclaimedwastrue.Thatwouldprobablybethefirstofmany
thingsthatsetthekingdomapartfromtheoneI’dgrownupin.Onlythe
extremelywealthyorthewell-connectedhadaccesstoelectricityinSolis.
“Howisthatpossible?”
“Itmaybeafinitesourcehere,butitdoesn’tneedtobe
thatway.TheAscendedmakeitthatway,”hesaid,andaquickglancetoldme
thathe’dditchedthetowelinfavorofthepantshe’dretrieved.Theywerelooser
thanbreeches,hangingindecentlylowonhiships,heldupbysomesortofdrawstring
thatseemedtodefygravity.Hegatheredupourclothing,placingitallina
laundryhamperthathethenplacedoutsidethedoor.Closingthedoor,hesaid,
“Acrucialpartoftheirall-encompassingcontroliscreatingariftbetween
mortalswhohaveandmortalswhohavenot.”
Hesatinthechairinthecornerandleanedback,propping
oneankleontopofhisknee.Injustthosestrange,loosepants,I’dnever
seenamorearrogantlyat-easemale.Hisfingersslowlytappedthearmofthe
chair.“So,thosewhobarelyhaveenoughtosurvive,turntheirangertowards
thosewhohavemorethantheycouldeverneed.AndnevertowardstheAscended.”
Icouldn’texactlyarguethatpoint.TheriftinMasadonia
wasclearandaswideasitwasinthecapital.WhileRadiantRow,wheresome
Ascendedandthewealthylived,wasonlyafewblockslong,itwasanentire
citywithinCarsodonia.AndeverythingelsewaslikethehomesneartheRisein
Masadonia,squatandstackedupononeanother.
“ButAtlantiaisruleddifferently?”Ichallenged,holding
theknifeagainstmychest.
“Itis.”
IthoughtofwhatLandellhadsaid.“Soundedtomelike
thereareproblemsinAtlantia.”
Hisfingersstilled.“Thereareproblemseverywhere,Poppy.”
“AndwhatkindofproblemsisAtlantiahavingwithlimited
spaceanduselessland?”
Hisheadtiltedto
theside.“AtlantiawasoncethisentirelandmassfromtheStroudSeatofar
beyondtheSkotosMountains.Mypeoplebuiltcitiesandcultivatedthelands
thattheAscendednowruleover.WhenmypeopleretreatedattheendoftheWar
ofTwoKings,theylostallofthatland.Wearesimplyrunningoutofspace
now.”
“Andwhathappensifyourunoutofspace?”
“Iwon’tallowthattohappen,”hereplied,straightening
hishead.“Ithoughtyou’dbeasleepwhenIcameback.You’veprobablyhada
farmoretiringdaythanmostofus.”
“Iwassleeping,but…”Mygazedroppedtohischest,tothe
tightlycoiledmusclesofhisstomach.Theglowfromthefireplaceleftvery
littletotheimagination.
“Iwokeyou?I’msorryaboutthat,”hesaid,andtheapology
soundedgenuineenough.“There’salotweneedtotalkabout,Poppy.”
“Thereis.”Namely,thewholemarriagenonsense.“But
talkingdoesn’trequireyoutobeshirtless.”
“Talkingdoesn’trequireanyclothesatall.”Thatsmoky
grinofhisreturned.“Icanpromiseyouthatsomeofthemostinteresting
conversationstakeplacewithnoclothestospeakof.”
Heatblastedmycheeks.“I’msureyou’vehadatonof
experiencewiththosetypesofconversations.”
“Jealous?”Proppinghiselbowonthearmofthechair,he
restedhischininhispalm.
“Hardly.”
Thegrinincreased,andeventhoughIcouldn’tseethe
dimplebeyondthefingerssplayedacrosshisjawandcheek,Iknewithadtobe
there.“Then…distracted?”
“No,”Ilied,andthenliedsomemore.“Notevenremotely.”
“Ah,Iunderstand.You’redazzled.”
“Dazzled?”Asurprisedlaughalmostbrokefree.Andthereit
wasagain,theslightwideningofhiseyes,thepartingofhislips,andthe
absenceofarrogance.Itwaslikewatchinghimslipoffamask,butIhadno
ideaifwhatwasrevealedwasjustanothermask,especiallywhenthelook
disappearedashisfeaturesbecameunreadableagain.
Iexhaledslowly.“Wedon’tneedtotalkaboutyourover-inflated
ego.Thathasbeenlongsinceestablished.Weneedtotalkaboutthiswhole
marriagestuff.ThereisnowayI’m—”
“Wedoneedtotalkaboutthat,aboutourfuture.Butnot
rightnow.It’slate.I’mtired.AndifI’mtired,youhavetobeexhausted,”
hesaid,andmyeyesnarrowed.“That’sthekindofconversationwebothneedto
befullyenergizedfor.”
“Thatconversationwilltakejustenoughtimeformetosay
I’mnotmarryingyou.Therefore,thereisnofuturetospeakof.Nowthe
conversationisoveranddonewith.Seehowsimplethatwas?”
“Butit’snotthatsimple,”herepliedsoftly.“Whydidyou
runtonight?”
Frustrationbegantoburnaholethroughme.“Couldit
possiblybebecauseyou’retryingtoforcemetomarryyou?Didthatnevercross
yourmind?”
“Possibly.”Therewasastretchofsilenceashestaredat
me.“DoyouknowwhyIchosethenameHawke?”
Myheartkickedatmychestattheunexpectedchangeofsubject.
“Ifigureditwasanamethatbelongedtowhateverpoorsoulyoumostlikely
killed.”
Helaughed,buttherewasnohumor.Suddenly,Irealized
thathislaughs,likehisexpressionsandevenhissmiles,werealsolike
masks—eachrepresentingadifferentCasteel,adifferenttruthorfalsehood.
“Therewasnopoorsoulwhoownedthatname.OratleastnotthatI’mawareof.
Ifthereisorwas,thatwouldbeapurecoincidence.ButIchoseHawkefora
reason.”
IwantedtotellhimthatIdidn’tcare,butIdid.Ohgods,
Iwantedtoknow.
Heloweredhishand.“InAtlantia,itistraditiontobe
givenasecondname,amiddleone,sotospeak.It’sgiveninhonorofa
cherishedfamilymemberorfriend,usuallypickedbythemother,anditisa
well-guardedsecretonlysharedoutsideofthefamilywiththeclosestof
friendsandwiththosewhoholdaspecialplaceinone’slife.Mymotherchose
mymiddlenameinhonorofherbrother.HisnamewasHawkethrone.Myfullname
isCasteelHawkethroneDa’Neer.WhenIwasasmallchild,mymothertookto
callingmeanabbreviatedformofthatname.Andsodidmybrother.They,and
onlytheyhadeverknownmeasHawke,”hesaid.“Untilyou.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter6
Hawke…
Thenamedidn’tbelongtosomeoneelse.Itwasreal.Hawke
wasreal?
“Tobehonest,theonlytimemymothercallsmeCasteel,it
generallyincludesmyfullmiddleandlastnames,anditusuallymeansshe’s
irritatedbysomethingIdidordidn’tdo,”hecontinued.“AlthoughKierandoesn’t
callmeHawke,heknowstheoriginofthename.Hewastheonewhochosethe
lastname,Flynn.HethoughtitsoundedlikeitfitwithHawke.”
“We…wedon’thavemiddlenames,”Iheardmyselfsay.
“Iknow.”
“Areyoutellingthetruthnow?”
Hisfeaturestightenedassomesortofemotionflickered
acrossthem.“I’mtellingthetruth,Poppy.”
Mygiftpushedagainstmyskin,andwhatKieranhadsaid
aboutmyabilitiesresurfaced.I’dsaidthatIhadnointentionofhandlingthe
Prince,butmygiftcouldtellmewhathewasfeelingandmaybehelpme
determineifhewaslying.Liesandtruthsweresooftentiedtoemotions,and
apersoncouldtrytohidewhattheywerefeeling.Sometimes,theywere
successful,evenwiththemostextremementalanguish.Butwhilepeoplecould
lietosomeoneaboutwhattheyfelt,theycouldn’tlietothemselves.
Openingmyselfupwasalwayseasy.Itrequirednoeffort.My
sensesstretchedout,anditwaslikeacordformedbetweenCasteelandme,
connectingus.Itwasn’talwayslikethat,sosingular.Sometimes,crowds
overwhelmedmeandpulledmein.Somepeoplewereprojectors,theiranguishso
deepandrawthattheyformedtheconnectionwithmewithouttrying.With
Casteel,ittookafewsecondsformetoprocesswhatIwaspickingupfrom
him.Emotionshadacertaintasteandfeeltome,andwhatIfeltnowwasboth
tartandtangyinthebackofmymouth.Discomfortand…sadness.
Hissorrowwasfamiliar.Itwasalwaysthere,shadowinghis
everystep,everybreath.Ioftenthoughtabouthowhecouldlaughandtease.
Howhecouldbesoridiculouslyvexingwhilefeelingsuchgrief.Iwonderedif
theteasingandhisall-too-easylaughterwerealsomasksbecauseIknewhis
painstartedandprobablyendedwithhisbrother.
Ididn’tknowwhatthediscomfortwastiedto,butIdidn’t
feelanythingthatmademethinkhewasn’ttellingthetruthnow.
Andmaybe…maybethatmeantthenameHawkewasreal.Thatit
wasn’talie.
ThenextbreathItookfeltthin.“Whyareyoutellingme
thisaboutyourname?Whydoesitmatter?”
Hewasquietnow,hisfeaturessmoothingout.“Because
knowingthatHawkeisapartofmyname,apartofme,matterstoyou.”
“Canyoureadminds?”Iasked,thinkingI’dprobablyasked
thatbeforebutIfeltlikeIneededtoaskagain.Mindreadingcouldn’tbetoo
farfetchedconsideringhecouldforcehiswilluponothers,andespecially
sincewhathesaidwastrue.Itdidmattertome.Why?Ihadnoidea,because
whatdiditchange?Attheendoftheday…nothing.
Afaintgrinappeared.“No,Icannot,whichisa
disappointmentwhenitcomestoyou.Iwouldlovetoknowwhatyou’re
thinking—whatyou’rereallyfeeling.”
Thankthegodshedidn’tknow,becausewhatIwasfeeling
wasmessierthanwhenIattemptedtoknit.
“IamHawke,”hesaidafteramoment.“AndIamCasteel.I’m
nottwoseparatepeople,nomatterhowbadlyyouwanttobelievethat.”
Itensed,mygriptighteningaroundthehandleoftheknife.
Ihatedhowwellheknewme.“Iknowthat.”
“Doyoureally?”
ArushoffrustrationscorchedmyskinbecauseIdidoften
thinkofhimastwodifferentpeople,butmainlythatthereweresimply
differentmaskshewore,andthere’dbeenoneforHawke.
Butitdidn’tmatter.Itcouldn’t.
“Iknowyouarethe
same,”Isaid.“Youaretheonewholiedtomefromthebeginning,andyou’re
theonewhoisholdingmecaptivenow.Itdoesn’tmatterwhatnameyouused
whiledoingit.”
Hearchedadarkeyebrow.“Yetyouhaven’tcalledmeHawke
sinceyoulearnedwhoIwas.”
Thefrustrationquicklyflamedintoanger.“Andwhydoes
thatmatter,Hawke?”
Asmilecreptacrosshislipsthen,onethatshowedthe
baresthintoffangs.“BecauseImisshearingyousayit.”
Istaredathimforwhatfeltlikeasmalleternity.“You’re
ridiculous,Casteel.”
Helaughed,andthesoundwaswarmanddeepandreal.Ifelt
hisamusementthroughtheconnection,asprinklingofsugaronmytongue.That
almostangeredmeenoughtodosomethingveryrecklesswiththeknifeyet
again.Somehow,ImanagedtoresisttheimpulsethatprovedjusthowviolentI
couldbe.
Hishumorfaded.“Ihaven’tliedtoyousinceyoulearned
whoIwas.”
“HowamItobelievethat?”Idemanded.“Andevenifyou
haven’t,thatdoesn’terasethoselies.”
“You’recorrect.Idon’texpectyoutobelieve,nordoI
expectyoutoeverforgetthoselies,”hesaid.Again,throughtheconnectionI
hadleftopen,Ifeltsadnesswiththefadingtasteofhumor.“ButIhave
nothingtogainfromliesnow.IhavewhatIwant.You.”
“Youdonothaveme.”
Onesideofhislipscurledup.“We’llhavetoagreeto
disagreeonthat.Askmesomething,Princess.Askmeanything,andIwilltell
youthetruth.”
Ahundreddifferentquestionsarose.TherewassomuchI
couldaskhim.Twothingsdominated.
Didyouevercareforme?
Wasanyofitreal?
Iwouldn’taskthosequestionsagain.“AndI’mjustsupposed
tobelieveyou?”
“Whetherornotyoudoisuptoyou.”
Itwasn’tjustaquestionofmechoosingtobelievehim,but
Ididn’tpointthatout.Therewasanotherquestionthatrosetotheforefront,
somethingI’dbeenthinkingaboutearlier.
“DidyoukillthefirstMaiden?”Iasked.
“What?”Surprisefilledhistone,andIalsofeltitthrough
thecord—coollikeasplashoficewater.
ItoldhimwhattheDuchesshadclaimedaboutthefirst
Maiden’sabilities.“ShesaidthattheMaidenhadbeenunworthy,eventhough
shewasstilltobegiventothegods.Butherdecisionsandchoicesledherto
theDarkOne.Toyou.”Justlikeme.“TheDuchessbasicallysaidthat
theDarkOnekilledher.”
“Idon’tknowwhytheDuchesswouldtellyouthat.Theonly
MaidenIhavemetisyou,”heanswered,andIcouldfeelthehot,acidicburn
ofangerradiatingfromhim.“Idon’tevenknowiftheretrulywasanother
Maiden.”
I…Ihadnotconsideredthepossibilitythattherehadbeen
nootherMaiden.Thatcouldexplainwhytherewasnothingwrittenabouther,
notevenaname.Butforhertonotexistatall?
“Ihavealotofbloodonmyhands,Poppy.Sometimes,so
muchthatIdon’tthinkthey’lleverbeclean.SomuchthatIdon’tknowifI
everwantthemtobe.”
Mygazeshottohis.
“AndI’msureyou’veheardalotaboutme—abouttheDark
One.Someofitistrue.IkilltheAscendedeverychanceIget,inCarsodonia
andineverycityI’vevisited.And,yes,Idofinduniquewaystoendtheir
lives.Iamdrenchedintheirblood.”
Skinchilled,Iwasunabletolookaway.“Youwereresponsible
forGoldcrestManor—LordEverton?”
“LordEvertonwasnotalivewhenIleftthecityofThree
Rivers.Norwereanyofthemortalswhoaidedhimwhenitcametohispenchant
forfeedingonyoungboys—apredilectionthatwentbeyondthat.AndasI’msure
you’verealized,somemortalsknowthetruth,andtheyhelpedtocoverwhat
happenedintheTemplesandwhattheydidwhentherewasnoRite.”
I’dfiguredthattheAscendedhadhelp.Theyhadto.The
PriestsandPriestessesintheTempleshadtoknow.TheMistressesofthekeeps
andthosewhoservedtheAscendedclosely.
“AndI’msureyouheardtherumorthatmyaffairwithLady
Evertonwaswhatallowedmetoenterthemanor?”hesaid.Ihadheardthat.“I
willadmitthatI’veusedeveryweaponIhave.Afterall,theAscendedtaught
methat.”
Iflinched.
“Shewasknownforheraffairs.Servantshelpedtosneakher
loversinsidethemanor.Manyneverleft,butImadesureshesawme.Eventually,
sheinvitedmetoherbed,andthatwashowIgainedentry.ButIdidnotlaya
fingeronherinthatway.Never.”Therewasalowrumbleinhistone.“Andif
shehadn’trunastheflamesbegan,shewouldn’thaveescapedeither.”
Ididn’tdoubtthatforonesecond.
Tippingforward,heheldmystare.“It’snotjustthe
Ascendedthatstainmyhands.Thereareinnocents.Mortalsanddescendantsof
Atlantiansalike,caughtbetweenwhatIwantandme.Yourguard,Rylan,wasone
ofthose.”
Mythroattightened.
“Asweretheoneswhotraveledherewithus,andcountless
others.Eachbyarrow,poison,orfall.Anythingthatstoodbetweenyouand
me.”Hedidn’tlookaway,notforonesecond.“AndVikter?ThoseLadiesatthe
Rite?Ididn’tkillthem,butyouwereright.Thosewhosupportmeactedon
theirown,buttheydidsoenflamedbymywords,urgedbymylead.So,their
bloodisonmyhands,too.Ishould’vetakenownershipofthatfromthefirst
moment.”
Ashudderworkeditswaythroughme,oneofpainandsorrow.
“Doesanyofitstainyoursoul?”Iwhispered.
“Muchofitdoes.”Hesatback.“ButthisMaidenisnotapart
ofthat.Ifshedidlive,andshewaslikeyou—partAtlantian,andsharedyour
giftsorsomethingsimilar—shewasn’tgiventothegods.Shewasmostlikely
usedinthesamewaytheyplantouseyou.”
Thebreaththatleftmewasragged.“If…ifthey’vehadyour
brother,whywouldtheyhaveneededher?”
Heeyedmefromhischair.“AtlantiansneedAtlantianblood
tosurvive.Onewhoisonlyhalf-Atlantiancanprovidethenecessary
sustenance.ThatwashowIwaskeptalive.
Iswallowedthickly,hurtingforhimdespiteeverything.
Hurtingforher,awomanIdidn’tevenknow,wasn’tevensureexisted.“She
could’vebeenheldcaptiveto…tofeedhim?Tokeephimalive?”
“WithoutAtlantianblood,wedon’tdie,”hesaid.
Ifrowned.“Howcouldyounotsurvivebutstilllive?”
“BecausewhatwebecomeisnotsomethingIwouldcompareto
beingalive,”heanswered.BeforeIcouldquestionthat,hespoke.“Ifthere
wasafirstMaiden,shewaseitherkeepingmybrotheralive,orshewasusedin
thesamemannerasheis.Possiblyboth.Buteitherway,Iimaginethatshehas
longsinceperished.Whatyoushouldbeaskingiswhytheyneedyou.Whywould
theymakeyoutheMaiden,keepyouclosetedaway,undertheirprotectionandunder
theirever-watchfulgaze?WhydidtheywaituntilnowforyourAscension?”
Hespatoutthelastword.“Earlier,aftertheCraven,youwererightaboutwhy
theyforcedyoutostayquietaboutbeingbittenandtoldyounevertouseyour
abilities.Someonecould’vediscoveredwhatyouwere,andthatwouldhave
broughttheirentirehouseofbonesdownonthem.So,whydidtheywaitsolong
andtakethatrisk?Pleasetellmethatyou’veaskedyourselfthesequestions.”
Myskinchilled.“Ihave.They…theywanttousemetomake
morevamprys.Butwhy?Theyhave—”
“Andwhydoyouthinktheywaitedthislong?”herepeated.
“WhydidthissupposedfirstMaidenconvenientlydisappeararoundthesametime
herabilitiesbegantogrow?ThereisnoAscensionforyou.Thegodsrequireno
service.Theywaitedsoyoucouldbeusefultothem.”Hesatforward.“There’s
areasontheAscendedwaituntilacertainagetoAscend.Doyouknowwhathappens
whenanAtlantianreachestheageofnineteen?”
Idid.I’dreadaboutitinTheHistoryofTheWarof
TwoKingsandtheKingdomofSolis.Theanswerhadbeeninthatdamnbook
I’dbeenforcedtoreadahundredtimes.Probablytheonlypartthatwastrue.
“AnAtlantianreachesastateofmaturity.Youcallit…theCulling,whenthey
gothroughphysicalchanges.”
“Andwhencertainotherabilitiesbegintomanifestor
strengthenforsome,”headded,hiseyesbrightinthedimlylitroom.“Forme,
itwascompulsion.Asachild,Icouldbesomewhatpersuasive,butonceIwent
throughtheCulling,IcouldforcemywillontoanotherifIwished.”
Ahollownessspreadinmystomach.“Thenwhyhaven’tyou
justmademegoalongwithwhateveritisyouwishformetodo?”
Hisbrowsfurrowedtogether.“BecauseImaybeamonster,
butI’mnotthatkindofmonster,Poppy.”
TherewasacatchinmychestasIlookedawayfromhim.
“Besides,compulsionsaretemporary,onlyusefulforimmediate
gains,”hesaid.WhenIlookedathimagain,hisexpressionhadsmoothedout.
“Andinterestingly,justlikeyoucan’tpickuponemotionsfromtheAscended,
compulsionsdonotworkonthemeither.”
Iclearedmythroat.“Doyouknowwhy?”
“Somebelieveit’sbecausetheyhavenosoul.”
IthoughtofIanandthenshutthosethoughtsdown.“Soyou
thinkmyabilitiesarechangingbecauseI’mgoingthroughtheCulling?”
“Aversionofit,yes.Yourbloodwouldn’thavebeenuseful
tothemuntilyouatleasthitnineteen,evenifyourabilitiestookthenext
twoyearstomorph.”
AsIprocessedwhathewastellingme,mybrainwentinone
direction.“WillIdevelop…fangs?”
Heliftedhisbrows.“Doubtful.Half-Atlantiansdon’tneed
blood,sotheydon’tneedfangs.”
“Whatabout…immortality?”
“Wouldyounotwantthat?”
IthoughtoftheAscended,ofhowlongtheylived,andIwasn’t
suretheirlackofhumanitywasduetowhattheydidtosurviveorbecausethey
livedtoseeeveryonearoundthemdieseveralgenerationsover.
“Idon’tknow,”Iansweredhonestly.“WillI?”
Heshookhishead.“Onlyfull-bloodedAtlantianshavewhat
mortalswouldthinkofasimmortality.”
Iwasn’tsureifIshouldfeelrelievedornot.“CanIeven
Ascendthen?Bemadeintoavampry?”Iasked,thinkingofIan.Ifhewerepart
Atlantianlikeme…
“Ihonestlydon’tknow,Poppy.ItisforbiddenforanyAtlantian
toAscendanyonewithadropofmortalbloodinthem.Eventhehalf-Atlantians
thatliveinAtlantiaarenotAscended.Theyliveanddiejustlikemortals,”
heexplained,andthatwassomethingIdidn’tknowaboutthosewholivedin
Atlantia.ThatnotallAtlantianswerelikehim.“Iwouldimaginea
half-AtlantiangoingthroughanAscensionwouldbethesameasamortal.They
wouldbecomeavampry.”
Meaning,theywouldberuledbybloodlust,justnotas
consumedbyitasaCraven.Pressuresettledinmychest.“Whenapersonis
turned—madevampry—whathappenstothem?”
Hewasquietforseveralmomentsbeforehesaid,“Theyare
feduponbyothervamprys,broughttothebrinkofdeathbybloodloss,and
thenfedbloodfromanAtlantian.Sometimes,thechangeisimmediate.Other
times,theycanappeardeadforhours.Buttheywakeupand…theyarehungry.As
uncontrollableasaCraven,itoftentakesseveralAscendedtosubduethem.”
Hisjawworkedashisgazeshiftedtothefire.“Evenafterbeingfed,they’re
consumedbyhunger.I’veheardthatitcantakeweeks,sometimesmonthsfora
newlymadevamprytocontrolhisorherthirst.”
Asinkingsensationthreatenedtopullmethroughthefloor.
TherehadbeenaspaceoftimeafterIan’sAscensionthatIhadn’theardfrom
him.Itwaswhenhe’dmarried,andithadbeenmonths.
“AndIknowthatforthosewhocouldnotabidebywhatwas
nowneededofthem,theyensuredthattheywouldnotharmanother,”headded
quietly.
“How?”Iasked,instincttellingmethattheanswerwasn’t
goingtobeaneasyone.
“Theychoosetowalkwhenthesunisatitshighest.It
doesn’ttakelong,butitisnotquickbyanymeans.Norisitpainless.”
Oh,gods.
Nowthat…thatsoundedlikesomethingIanwoulddo.
Buthewasalive.He’dbeensendingletters.Hehadtobealive.
Iswallowed.“Thoseyousawturned?Didallofthemseem
awareofwhatwashappening?”
Hisgazeshiftedbacktome.“Iknowwhereyou’regoingwith
this,andIdon’tthinktheanswerwillchangethingsinthewayyouwish.”
“Willyoujustanswerthequestion?”
Hislipsthinned.“TheAscendedheldaceremonyforit.
Mortalswerebroughtindressedinrobesandwearingmasks.Meaninglesswords
werechanted,andcandleswerelit.Someseemedtoknowwhatwouldoccur.Most
appearedintoxicated.Ihadnoideaiftheyknewexactlywhatwashappening.”
Hischestrosewithadeepbreath.“Someseemeddrugged.Idoubttheyevenknew
iftheywereawake.”
Istaredathim,stuckinthisterribleplacebetweenrelief
andhorror.Suddenly,Iunderstoodwhyhehadn’twantedtoanswerthequestion.
IfIanhadbeendruggedtothepointwherehehadn’tbeenaware—ifothers
hadn’tbeenawareofwhatwashappening—thatwasfarworse.
Casteelwatchedmesilently.“Thereisnoreasonforan
Ascendedtoturnahalf-Atlantian.Doingsowouldtainttheblood—thepartthey
needtoeitherturnotherAscendedortokeepanAtlantianalive.Thatiswhy
theymadesureyouwerehealthyandsafe,whyyourpreciousQueencaredso
tenderlyforyou,”hesaid.Myentirebodywentastautasabowstring.“Your
bloodmeantnothingtothembeforenow,anditwouldmeanevenlesstothemif
youwentthroughtheAscension.”
So,IanandIlikelyhaddifferentparents,eitheroneor
both.Becausehehadtohavebeenturned.He’dbeenwritingmeletters,and
CasteelclaimedthatIanhadonlybeenseenatnight.Unless—
UnlessCasteel’scontactshadseensomeoneelse,andithadn’t
beenIansendingthoselettersatall.
Thepressureinsidemeincreased,shiftingtomystomachas
Iswallowedthickly.Icouldn’tevenconsideranyofthatrightnowwhileIwas
sofarfromIan.Thequestionsandthedoubtswouldcrushme.
AndIalreadyfeltcrushed.
Iknewwhatthey’dplannedformebefore,buttofullyunderstand
whythey’dwaited,whytheydideverythingtheyhaddone,itsickenedmetothe
pointwhereIfearedImightactuallybecomephysicallyill.
“Theywereonlykeepingmealiveuntilthey…”Ichokedonmy
wordsastheweightofthemthreatenedtocrushme.
Casteelsaidnothingashesatthere,thoughthatwas
probablyforthebestatthemoment.Ifeltlikeapowderkegthathadbeen
lit.Insideme,disbeliefandangersparked.I’dbeenkeptshelteredand
virtuallycaged,caredforlikesomeprizedcattleuntilmybloodhadaged.
Untilitwasuseful—eithertomakemorevamprysortokeepanotheraliveto
continuemakingmore.
“I’mnotabottleofwine,”Iwhispered.
“No,”hesaidquietly.“Youarenotabottleofwine,
Poppy.”
Myheadjerkedup.“Andyoudidn’tknowthiswhenyoucame
forme?Youswear?Youswearrighthereandnowthatyoudidn’tknowIwaspart
Atlantian.ThatthisiswhytheymademetheMaiden.ThatIwasbeingkept
aliveandshelteredfromeverythinguntilIwas…useful?”
Hisgazemetmine.“Isweartoyou,Poppy.Ihadnoideathat
youwereAtlantianuntilItastedyourblood.Ididn’tevenexpectthatwas
whatyouwerewhenIlearnedofyourgift.MaybeIshouldhave.”Ashadow
crossedhisfeatures,gonesoquicklyIwasn’tevensureIhadseenit.“Butno
Atlantianhasbeencapableofsuchathingfor,well,forhundredsofyears.I
didn’tknow.”
Mysenseswerestillopen,andittookseveralmomentsto
filterthroughwhatIfelttoevenmakesenseofhisemotions.Therewasstill
theacidictasteofanger,thetartflavorthatIassociatedwithuncertainty,
andthesadnessthatalwayslingeredwithinhim.
Mygiftwasn’taliedetectorbyanymeans,butIdidn’t
thinkhewaslying.Pullingmygiftbackwasthehardestpartbecausethat
didn’tfeelnatural.Whatdidwasgoingtohimandtakingawaythesadness,
givingsometemporarypeace.Myskintingledwiththedesiretodojustthat,
anditwasn’tnecessarilybecauseitwashim.Thegiftdemandedtobeused,to
heal.Iwrestleditback,exhalingraggedlyasIsatontheedgeofthebed.
“Nowthatyoufullyunderstandwhythey’vedonewhatthey
havetoyouandwhattheyplan,”Casteelsaid,hisvoicehardeninginawayI
rarelyheardwhenhespokewithme.“Whyinthehellwouldyourunbackto
them,Poppy?Marriagetomeornot.”
IstaredatCasteel,themeatknifelooseinmyhands.“I
toldyouearlier,Iwasn’trunningbacktothem.”
“Thenwherewereyourunningto?Withnosupplies,mightI
add.”
“Youdon’tneedtoaddthat.I’mwellawareofwhatIleft
herewith.”
“Ifyouweren’tgoingbacktotheAscended,wheredidyou
thinktogo?YouwereheadingtowardWhitebridge—tothesouth.”Hiseyeswerelike
shardsofamber.“Youweren’tgoingbacktoMasadonia.Ifigureyouweregoing
tothecapital.Why?Evenknowingwhatyoudidthen,whywouldyoudothat?”
“Why?”Angerflashedthroughme,hotandbrightlikethe
flames.“Areyouseriouslyaskingthatquestionagain?”
“DoIlooklikeI’mjoking?”heasked.
Iwasstunnedintosilence,butonlyforamoment.“Why
wouldIstayhereandletyouturnmeovertothem?Tothepeopleyoutoldme
wantedtouseme—tothepeoplewhoabusedandtorturedyou?Whoaredoingthat
toyourbrother?Howdoesthatmakeyouanybetter?Safer?You’redoingthe
samethingtheydidtome!”Thebackofmythroatburnedasaknotofugly,
painfulemotionlodgedthere.“You’rekeepingmesafe,well-fed,andcaged
untilyoucanuseme!”
Amuscleflexedinhisjaw.
“Andthenyouannouncethatyou’regoingtomarryme.”I
shookmyhead,trembling.“Whatintheworldwouldmakeyouevensaysuchan
offensivething?”
“Offensive?Comenow,Poppy,Iknowdeepdownthatyoumust
beexcited.NoteveryonegetstobecomeanactualPrincess.”
“Iamnotremotely—”Isnappedmymouthshut,realizinghe
wasactuallyteasingme.Wasthisallsomegrandjoketohim?
“It’sconsideredagreathonorinAtlantiatobewelcomed
intothebosomofthenoble,rulingfamily,”hewenton.“Ithinkmymotheris
goingtolikeyou.”
Ishottomyfeet.“Wearenotgettingmarried!”Slamming
theknifedown,itscoreddeepintothewoodofthetablebythebed,the
handlevibratingfromtheimpact.
“Onsecondthought,mymotherisdefinitelygoingtolike
you,”Hawkemurmured,andrightthen,hewasHawke.
ThatwasthebemusedtoneIwasalltoofamiliarwith,and
itthrewmeenoughthatittookafewmomentstorecover,torememberthatit
wassimplyanothermask.“Why?BecauseIdidn’tthrowitatyourfacethis
time?”
“She’llmostlikelybeamusedtohearthatyouhavedone
exactlythat,”hesaid,andmybrowsknitted.“Andshewillbehappytoknow
thatyouarecapableofshowingrestraint.”
“Now,IwishIhadn’tshownrestraint.”
Casteelchuckled,andthattoosoundedsofamiliar,butitwas
Casteel’slaughthatfaded.Itwashisgoldeneyesthatheldanintenselookof
fascination.HewasbothHawkeandCasteel,butitwasthelatterthatInow
dealtwith.Heleanedforwardinhischair,loweringbothbarefeettothe
floor.“Youaresoincrediblybeautifulwhenyou’reangry.”
Irefusedtobeflatteredbythatsomewhatweirdcompliment.
“Andyou’resoincrediblydisturbed.”
“Beencalledworse.”
“I’msureyouhave.”Ifoldedmyarmsacrossmychest.
Herosefromthechair,andforamoment,Igotalittle
lostinallthebronzeskinondisplay.“We’lltalktomorrowaboutourfuture—”
“Thereisnofuturetotalkabout.We’renotmarrying,”I
cutin.
“Ithinkyou’llfindmyreasoningsimpossibletorefuse.”
“Nothingisimpossible.”
“We’llsee.”
“No,we—whatareyoudoing?”Idemandedashewalkedtothe
othersideofthebed.“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Gettingintobed.”
“Why?”Myvoicepitchedhigh.
Hearchedabrowashepulledtheblanketaside.“Togoto
sleep.”
“Ifiguredthatout,thanks.Butwhydoyouthinkyougetto
sleepinthesamebedchamber,letalonethesamebedwithme?”
“Because,asIexplainedearlier,thisismybedchamber.”
“ThenIwillfindanotherroom.”
“Therearenootherroomsavailable,Princess.”
Myhandsdugintotheblanketasmymindraced.“Thisisn’t
appropriate.I’mtheMaiden.Orwas.Whatever.I’mthedefinitionof
appropriate.”
Hestaredatme.“Besidesthefactthatyouarenotthedefinition
ofappropriate,everyoneinthiskeepknowsthatwe’vealreadysharedabed,
Poppy.”
“Well,that’sjust…”Myfaceburned.“That’sjustgreat.”
“I’mnotleavingyoualone.”
“I’mnotgoingtotrytoescape!Ipromise.”
“Ihopeyoudon’tthinkI’mfoolishenoughtotrustyour
vow.”Casteelpickeduparatherflatpillowandfluffedit.“So,eitherit’s
meinhere,orit’sKieran.Wouldyouratheritbehim?Ifso,Iwillsummon
himforyou.”Hetossedthepillowtowardtheheadofthebed.“Butjustsoyou
know,heoftenslipsintohiswolvenformandhasahabitofkickinginhis
sleep.”
Mylipsslowlyparted.“What?Wait.Idon’tneedan
explanationofthat.Idon’twantKieran.”
Thehintofasmilewaspurewickedness.“Youwantme.”
“ThatisnotwhatIsaid.Youcansleeponthefloor.”
“Iamnotsleepingonthefloor.Andbeforeyousayit,
neitherareyou.”Heslippedintobedwithenviablegrace.“Nomatterwhatyou
thinkyouknowofme,IhopeyourealizethatIwouldneverforcemyselfonyou,
norwouldIcompelyoutodosomethinglikethat.Iwon’teverdosomethingyou
don’twantfromme,andthat’snotjustbecauseIknowwhatthatfeelslike,”
hesaidflatly,andmyheartsqueezed.“It’sbecauseI’veneverbeenthatkind
ofperson.”
“Idon’tthinkyouwoulddosomethinglikethat,”Isaid
quickly.AndIdidn’twanttoknow.I…neededtoknow.“Whatdidtheydotoyou?”
“That’snotsomethingIreallywanttogetinto,Poppy.”
Iopenedmymouthandthenclosedit.Icouldunderstand
that.Respectit.
AndasIremainedwhereIwas,IthoughtaboutwhatKieran
hadsaidearlieraboutmebeingsafewiththePrince.Unfortunately,Ialso
rememberedtheeffectsofhisblood,andhowIallbutbeggedhimtotouchme.
Notoneofmyfinermoments.
Casteelhadrefused,though.Hecould’veeasilytaken
advantageofthesituation,butwhathadhesaid?Thathewasn’tagoodman,but
thathewastryingtobeone.IthoughtoftheshameIhadfeltinsidehim.He
wasboththevillainandthehero,themonsterandthemonster-slayer.
ButIwasn’tafraidofhimtryingsomethingwithme.Iwas
moreafraidofmyself—scaredofhowmuchmyheartwaspounding.Thenightwe
hadbeentogether,fallingasleepinhisarmshadbeen…ithadbeenjustas
beautifulaswhatwe’dsharedbeforethat.
Onlyithadn’tbeenreal.
Theproblemwasthatmyheartdidn’tseemtounderstand
that,atleastnotallthetime.Thatwaswhyitwaspumpingsofastnow.To
some—probablytomostinthekingdom—sleepingbesidesomeonedidn’tmeanmuchof
anything.Buttome?Itwasaslife-alteringasholdinghands,beingableto
openlytouchanother,orsharingdinnerwithsomeone—thingsotherpeopleoften
tookforgranted.
ThatwaswhysharingabedwithCasteelwasdangerous.
Iwatchedhimlettheblanketfalltohiswaistandthen
foldhishandsunderhishead.Onceheappearedcomfortable,hesaid,“But,
justsoyouknow,ifyouwantmylipsonanypieceofyou,I’mmorethan
willingtoappeaseyou.”
Mymouthdroppedopen.
“Andmywillingnesstocomplyextendstomyhands,my
fingers,andmycock—”
“Oh,mygods,”Icuthimoff.“Youdon’thavetoworryabout
that.Iwillneverrequestyour…yourservices.”
“Services?”Hetippedhisheadtowardme.“Thatsoundsso
dirty.”
Iignoredthatcomment.“YouandIarenevergoingtodo
anythinglikewhatwedidbefore.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
“Wouldyousayitwouldbe…impossible?”
“Yes.It’sdefinitelyimpossible.”
Hawkesmiledthen,anditwasHawke’ssmile.
Dimplesappearedinbothcheeks,andIhatedthecatchIfeltinmychestupon
seeingthem.LoathedthatitmademeseehimasHawke.“Butdidn’tyoujustsay
nothingwasimpossible?”heallbutpurred.
Istareddownathim,atanabsolutelossforwords.“Iwant
tostabyouintheheartrightnow.”
“I’msureyoudo,”hereplied,closinghiseyes.
“Whatever,”Imuttered,acceptingthatIwouldhavetodeal
withhim.AtleastforthenightoruntilIfiguredouthowtoescape.I
scootedback,shovingmylegsundertheblanket.Ithrewmyselfdownwith
enoughforcethatitshookthebed.
“Youokayoverthere?Soundslikeyoucould’vehurt
yourself.”
“Shutup.”
Helaughed.
Withmybacktohim,Istaredattheknife.Thebladewas
bent.Isighed.Amomentlater,therewasaclick,andtheroomdarkened.He’d
turnedofftheoillampbyhissideofthebed.
Hissideofthebed?
Wedidn’thavesides.
ItuggedtheblankettomychinasIshiftedmyfocustothe
fireplace.Mymindwanderedbacktosomethingthatshouldn’tmatterbutdid.
“Whydidyoutellme?”Iwhispered,notevensureifhewas
stillawakeorwhyIwasasking.He’dalreadyanswered.“Whydidyouhaveto
tellmethatHawkewasyourmiddlename?”
Thefirecrackled,spittingsparks,andIclosedmyeyes.
Seconds,maybeminuteslater,Casteelsaid,“Becauseyou
neededtoknowthatnoteverythingwasalie.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter7
Withallthestressandtraumaofthelastseveraldays,it
shouldn’thavecomeasasurprisethatthepastfoundmeinmysleep.Still,it
wasashocktothesenses.
Bloodwaseverywhere.Splatteredagainstthewalls,running
downtheminthinrivulets,andpoolingalongthedustywoodenfloor—underthe
lumpsonthefloor,misshapenandnotright.Theairwasthickwiththescent
ofmetal.Asmearofblueinthelamplightcaughtmygaze.Ashirt.Hadn’tthe
funnymanwho’dservedourfoodthateveningbeenwearingablueshirt?Mr.
La…Lacost?Hetoldusstoriesaboutthefamilyofmicethatlivedinthebarn
outback,who’dmadefriendswiththekitties.I’dwantedtoseethem,butPapa
hadtakenusbacktoourrooms.Hehadn’tbeensmilingorlaughingatdinner.
Hehadn’tsinceweleft.He’dsatatthetable,hisgazedartingtothewindow
inbetweeneveryquickbiteoffood.
ButMr.Lacost’schestandstomachlookedstrangetomeasI
stoodthere,trembling.Nolongerround,itwassunken,jagged—
“Don’tlook,Poppy.Don’tlookoverthere,”cameMomma’s
hushedvoiceasshepulledonmyhand.“Wemusthide.Hurry.”
Shepulledmedownthenarrowhallway,herhandwetagainst
mine.“IwantPapa—”
“Shh.Wemustbequiet.”Hervoiceshook,soundingtoothin.
Thearmsofherdressweretorn,thepalepinkstreakedwithcrimson.Mommawas
hurt,andIdidn’tknowwhattodo.“WemustbequietsoPapacancomeandfind
us.”
Ididn’tunderstandhowbeingquietwouldhelpPapacometo
us.Itwasdarkintheroomweentered,andthesounds,theraggedbreathsand
moans,thecontinuousshoutsandcrieswereloud.Papahadgoneoutsidewhen
theycame,wentouttherewiththestrangemanwho’dseemedtoknowhim.I
wantedmypapa.IwantedIan,buthehadleftwiththewomanwhosmelledlike
sugarandvanilla—
Ashrillsoundpiercedthedarkness.Mommatuggedhardonmy
hand,yankingmedowntowhereshecrouched.Sheopenedalargecupboardbehind
meassomeonescreamed.PotsclatteredoffthefloorasMommatorethemfrom
insidethecloset.
“Getin,Poppy.Ineedyoutogetinandbeveryquiet,
okay?Ineedyoutobeassilentasamouse,nomatterwhat.Doyouunderstand?”
Lookingbehindmeatthesmallholeofdarkness,Ishookmy
head.Mommawouldn’tfitinthere.“Iwannastaywithyou.”
“I’llberighthere.”Herhandstouchedmycheek.Herskin
wasdampassheturnedmyheadtowardsher.“Ineedyoutobeabiggirland
listentome.Youhavetohide—”
Thehigh-pitchedhowlcameagain,andIclamoredforher,
clutchingathersides.Myfingersdugintothestickywaistofherdress.“You
havetoletgo,baby.Youneedtohide,Poppy.”
Iheldtighter,feelingwetwarmthcoursingdownthesides
ofmyface.
Mommajerkedatthesoundofsomething—avoice.Someone
spoke,butmyheartpoundedtooloudlyinmyearsformetohear.Itsounded
likearushingfallofwater,andthenightmaresoundswerelouder,closer.Then,
therewasavoiceagain.AndMomma,herhandswerewetter,stickier…
Someoneknockedalampoversomewhere.Glassshattered.
Mommayelledasherarmsfoldedaroundme,thewordsmushedtogether,making
littlesenseexceptforone—
Screams.Someonewasshrieking.Momma?Shewastornfromme,
herhandsslidingdownmyarms,herfingerscatchingmineandthenslipping.A
bodycrashedintous—me—andItotteredtotheside,losingmyholdofMomma.
Fierypainslicedacrossmyface,stunningme.Ifellback.Handsgrabbedat
me.Handsthatweretooheavy.Handsthathurt.Iscreamed—
Therewasavoiceagain,somewhereinthedarkness,living
underthescreams.
Whataprettylittleflower.
Whataprettypoppy.
Pickitandwatchitbleed.
Notsoprettyanylonger…
Poppy
Ijerkedawake,ascreamringinginmyears,burningmy
throatasIgaspedforair,strugglingtomovebutunable.Myarmsweretrapped
againstmysides,mylegstangledinthickwarmth.Myeyespeeledopen,andit
tookamomentformysurroundingstomakesense.Ifocusedonthesteady
thumpingundermycheekasIslowlydugoutthethornsofpanicandfear.
Faintgraylightseepedinthroughthenarrowwindowacross
fromthebed.Iwasn’tattheinn,beingrippedandtorninto.Iwasinthe
keep,inbed,withawarm,hardchestagainstmycheek,ahandthatcontinuously
smoothedovermyhair,avoicethatwhisperedmynameoverandover,tellingme
itwasokay,promisingmethatitwassafe.Iwasnestledinhislap,held
tightlytohischestasifhetriedtokeepthetremorsatbaywithhishold
alone.
Casteel
Realitycamebacktomeinpiecesasthedisorientationfrom
thenightmareeased,andIbegantorealizethathewasslowlyrockingus.
IknewIneededtopullaway,shouldputsomedistance
betweenus,butsomethingabouthisembracewasgrounding.Somethingthatfelt
inexplicablyrightintheaftermathofthebloodandterror.Maybeitwas
becauseIoftenwokealoneafterthenightmares,shakenandterrified,
especiallyafterIanleftforthecapital.Andevenwithmyscreamsoften
wakingTawny,Ineverallowedsuch…comfort.I’dalwaysbeentooembarrassedto
seekitfrommylady’smaid.Buttherewasn’tanotheroptionnow,anditwas
thefirsttimeI’deverbeenrelievedtohavethechoicetakenfromme.I
closedmyeyes,lettingthewarmthofCasteel’sbodysoakintomine.
Ahintofshamesiftedthroughmeeventhoughhe’dknown
aboutthenightmares.Vikterhadwarnedhimaboutthem,andIknewthatVikter
haddonesonotforCasteel’sbenefitbutmine.Sorrowtightenedmychest.I
missedVikter,missedhimsobadly,andwakingfromtheseblood-soaked
nightmares,thelosswasraw.
Butembarrassmentalsowarmedmyskin.Howincrediblysilly
Casteelmustthinkmetobesufferingnightmaressomanyyearslater.Istarted
topullaway.“I’msorry,”Isaid,wincingatthehoarsenessofmyvoice.Only
thegodsknowwhatkindofsoundsImust’vemadetoscratchmythroatsoraw.
“Ididn’tmeantowakeyou.”
“WhenIwasyoungerandIleftAtlantiaforthefirsttime,
IsawaCravenoutsideasmallvillage.I’dneverseenanythingscarierinmy
entirelife.Ididn’tthinktherecouldbeanythingworseoutthere.”Casteel’s
armstightenedaroundme.“Havingbeeninitsstateforquitesometime,it
lookedlikeawalkingcorpse.Itwasfarmoreterrifyingthananythingmyimagination
could’vecreatedwhenIwasachild.Andhearingthewayitwailed?Isworeit
wouldhauntmysleep,anditdid.Forweeks,evenfarawayfromanyCraven,I
wokeinthemiddleofthenight,swearingIhearditscreaming.”
Thetremorsweresubsidingashecurvedhishandaroundthe
backofmyhead.“ButthenIwascaptured.Andtheworstpart?Itwasmyfault.
Iwasstillyoungandfoolish.IthoughtIcouldsolveeverythingbytakingout
KingJalaraandQueenIleanamyself.ItrulybelievedIcoulddoit.Igot
close—nearenoughtomakemymove.Obviously,Ifailed.AndthenIlearnedwhat
trueterrorwas.Youaskedmeearlierwhattheydidtome.Theyrefusedmeblood,
keptmeontheedge,givingmejustenoughtosurvive—sometimesbarely,butthe
constantlowsupplyaffectedmyabilitytoheal.”
Bilecreptupmythroat,butIsaidnothingasIstayedin
hisarms.
“Ittakesalongtimeforthateffecttooccur,andtheyknew
it.Theydidn’tbrandmebeforetheyknewthemarkwouldremain.”Hischest
roseagainstme.“Whentheonestheybroughtintofeedmewereclosetodying,
nolongerabletoservetheirpurpose,theykilledthemrightinfrontofme.
Sometimesslowly,puttingthesamenicksandcutsintotheirskinuntilthey
died.Othertimes,theysnappedtheirnecks.ButthereweretimesthatIwasso
hungrythatI…”Heswallowed.“Itwasmethattoreintotheirthroatsand
killedthem.Andthey’dleavetheirbodiesintherewithmetorot.Fordays.
Weeks.NothingformetostareatbutthepersonI’dkilled.Nothingtothink
aboutbutwhatkindoflifethey’dlivedbeforethatmoment,andwhatkindof
futureI’dstolenfromthem.Sometimes,thebodieswouldpileup,leftinthere
longafterthestenchhadpassed.”
Oh,mygods.
MyeyeswereopenbutunseeingasIlistenedtohim.Was
thisalsoapartofthegriefhecarriedwithhim?Ifso,Icouldunderstand
why.Alltheterriblethingshe’ddoneorcauseddidn’tmatterinthatmoment.
Icouldn’timaginethesufferinghemust’veendured.Noonedeservedthat.Even
thosewhoseactionswarranteddeathdidn’tdeservetobetortured,used,and
abused.
Andtobehauntedbynightmaresdecadeslater?Centurieslater?
Ididn’tthinkIcoulddealwithahundredyearsofrelivingthenighttheCraven
attacked.
Therewasanemptinesstohisvoiceashecontinued.“Andthey
didthingstome—thingsthatcausedreactionsIcouldn’tcontrol.Females.
Males.Theymademe—”Hestopped,andIcouldfeelhisheadshake.“Ilearned
whattruefearwas.”
Ashudderingbreathleftme.“I…I’msorry.Iwish—”
“Youhavenothingtoapologizefor.Itwasn’tyou,andI
don’twantthatfromyou.”Hisfingerscurledaroundmyhair.“Idon’twantpity.”
“Idon’tpityyou,”Itoldhim.“AndIknowI’mnot
responsibleforwhathappenedtoyou—andneitherareyou,evenifyouractions
ledtoyourcapture.Istillfeelhorribleforwhatwasdonetoyou.”
“Idon’twantyoutofeelthat.Ijustwantyoutoknowthat
Ihadnightmares,Poppy.Foryearsafterbeingfreed,Iwokeinthemiddleof
thenight,thinkingIwasstillinthatcage,shackledbymywristsandankles.
Sometimes,thingsIdidafterbeingfreedfollowmeintosleep.”
Hishandslidtomycheek,guidingmyheadbacksomyeyes
methis.“So,Iknowallabouthowthepastdoesn’tremainwhereitshould.How
itlikestopayvisitswhenyou’reatyourweakest.Thereisneveraneedtoapologize,
norshouldyoueverfeelshame.”
Myhearttwistedevenassomeofthediscomfortlessened.
“How…howdidyousurvivewhatyoudid?”
“Idon’tthinkyou’llliketheanswer,”hesaidaftera
moment,lookingaway.“IpromisedmyselfthatwhenIescaped,Iwould
eventuallywatchthelifeseepfromthesoullesseyesofQueenIleanaandKing
Jalara.”Hedroppedhishand.“That’showIsurvived.”
Iswallowedattheuttercoldnessofhistone.“Revenge,
then.”Whenhenodded,Iwasn’tsurehowIwassupposedtofeelaboutwhathe’d
said.WasIsupposedtothinkpoorlyofhim?Istilldidn’tknowhowto
reconcilewhathe’dtoldmeabouttheQueenandwhatIknew,whatI’dseen.
“Howdidyousurvive,Poppy?”Hisgazesweptbacktomine,
lashesloweredhalfway.“HowhaveyounotletthenightoftheCravenattack
makeyouafraidofeverything?Becauseyouarefearless,whetheritbefacinga
swarmofCraven,staringintotheeyesofawolven,orwhenyoupushbackat
me,evenknowingwhatIam.”
Hisquestioncaughtmeoffguard,asdidtheknowledgethat
hesawmeasfearless.“I…it’snotthatI’mwithoutfear.Idofearthings.”
Interestsparkedinhisgoldeneyes.“Idon’tbelievethat.”
TherewasnowayI’dadmittohimthatIfearedmyselfmore
thanIcouldeverfearaCraven,wolven,orevenhim.“IsurvivedbecauseI
refusedtoeverbehelplessagain.Thatkeptmefromcavingtothefear.That’s
whathelpedmepushthroughthepainoftrainingwithVikter—theachesand
bruises.”IthoughtofthebrandonCasteel’sthigh,thepainhemusthave
enduredforsomethinglikethattoscarwhenhehealedsoeasily.“Ican
understandhowtheneedforrevengehelpedyousurvive.”
Hisheadtiltedashislasheslifted,revealinghisbright,
intensegaze.“Isthathowyou’resurvivingrightnow?Picturingalltheways
youwillkillme?”
No.Iwasn’tthinkingthatatall.MaybeIshouldbe,butI
wasn’t.
Slippingoutofhisembrace,Iscootedovertomysideof
thebed.“Iguessyou’lljusthavetowaitandfindout.”
Ahalf-grinappeared,revealingthedimpleinhisright
cheek.Toosoon,itfaded.“Doyourememberanythingfromthenightmare?”
“I’mreallytryingnottothinkaboutit,”Iadmitted,
tuggingtheheavyblanketuptomychest.
Hereclinedbackonanelbow,andmygazedippedfromhis
eyestotheleanlengthofhisstomach.“Youwerespeakinginyoursleep.”
“What?”Thatjerkedmytraitorouseyesbacktohis.
Casteelnodded.“Youweresayingsomethingthatremindedme
ofa…disturbingnurseryrhyme,tobehonest.Somethingaboutaprettyflower.”
Themomentthosewordslefthismouth,thenightmarecame
backinarushofstartlingclarity.“Whataprettypoppy.Pickitand
watchitbleed,”Imurmured.“Notsoprettyanylonger.”
“Yes.That.”Aneyebrowrose.“Andit’sasdisturbingasit
wasthefirsttimearound.”
“Ican’tbelieveIwassayingthat.”
“NeithercouldIwhenIheardit,”hecommented.“Has
someonesaidthattoyoubefore?”
“I…”MybrowsfurrowedasIshookmyhead.“Idon’tknow.
Sometimes,thenightmaresIhaveofthatnightaren’texactlyhowthingshappened,
butIdon’tremembereverhearingthatbefore.”Icurledmyfingersaroundthe
collarofthenightgown.“AndI…ItrynottothinkaboutitwhenIwakeup.I
could’vehearditbeforeandforgotten.Sometimes,it’s—”
“Disorientating,”hefinishedforme.
Inodded,siftingthroughwhatIremembered.Nausearoseas
Idid.Icouldalmostsmelltheblood,feelmymother’swethandagainst—
“Someonespoketomymother.Inmynightmare.Therewasavoicerightbefore
theCravenreachedus.”Myeyeswidened.“Ithinkitwastheonewhosaidthe
thingabouttheflower,andmymotherresponded.ButI…”
FrustrationateatmeasItriedtomakesenseofthegarbled
wordI’dthoughtshesaid.Itcould’vebeenmorethanoneword.Icouldalmost
seeherlipsmoving,butitcouldalsobeafalsememory.“Idon’t…Ican’t
remember.”
“Maybeitwillcometoyoulater.”
“Maybe.”Isighed.“ButIdon’tevenknowifwhatIheard
wasreal.”
“Itmightnotbe.Sometimes,thingsinthepastseemto
overlaponeanotherindreams.MycaptureoftengetsmixedupwithMalik’s.”He
easedontohisback,hiseyesontheexposedbeamsoftheceiling.“Thenight
oftheCravenattackisn’ttheonlyordealyou’vebeenthrough.”
Myfingersslippedfromthenecklineofmygown.Iknewatonce
thathewasreferringtotheDuke.Heatcreptupmythroat,andIhatedthe
shamethatcausedit—thehumiliationofwhathedidtomethatI’dbeenunable
tostop.AndasI’djustlearned,ifanyoneknewhowthatfelt,itwasCasteel.
He’dhaditfarworsethanme,though.“HowdidyoufindoutabouttheDuke?I
nevertoldyou.”
“Abouthislessons?”Tensionbracketedhismouth.
“DukeTeermanwasfearedbutnotrespectedamonghisRoyalGuards.Ittookonly
thesmallestofcompulsionsforoneofthemtosharewhattheyknew.”
Mymouthdriedattheknowledgethathe’dusedcompulsion,
butitwasn’tthathe’ddoneitthatcausedthereaction.Itwasthereminder
ofwhathecoulddo.Thatkindofabilitywasfrightening—andawe-inspiring.
Andnotusingitwheneverhecouldwasalsoimpressive.IdoubtedthatI’dhave
thatkindofstrengthofcharacter.
Ifrowned.
WasIactuallycomplimentinghischaracter?Themanwhohad
lied,kidnappedme,andheldmecaptive?
Iobviouslyneededmorerest.
“Thethingyourepeatedinyoursleep?”hesaid,jarringme
frommythoughts.“ItsoundedlikesomethingtheDukemight’vesaidtoyou.
It’sperverseenoughforthatbastard.”
Casteelwasright.ItwasperverseenoughforDuke
Teerman.Thevoicehadsoundedfamiliar.Couldheberight?Wasitthe
two…ordealsoverlapping?ThereweretimesIdidn’tquiteremembereverything
fromthetimespentinhisprivateoffices,whenthepainofthecaningshad
leftmeinasemi-lucidstate.
“Howoftendidhedoit?”Casteelaskedquietly.“Engagein
hislessons?”
Iclampedmymouthshut.
Casteelturnedhisheadtowardme.“Iknowwhathedid.I
knowthathewasn’talwaysalone.AndIknowthat,sometimes,itonlylasteda
halfanhour.Othertimes,theguardlosttrackofthetime.”Hisfeatureswere
sharpandstark.“AndIknowthathepreferredtousethecaneagainstbare
flesh.”
PressureclampeddownonmychestattheimageofLord
Mazeenholdingmyhandstothetable,preventingmefromcoveringmychest,
stoppingmefromanyshredofdignity.“Wheneverhewasdisappointedinme,”I
repliedroughly.“Hewasoftendisappointed.”
Hislipsthinned.“IfIhadknownthatLordMazeenjoined
him,hewould’vebeenstakedtothatwallrightalongsidetheDuke.”
Iliftedmygazetohis.“I’mgladyoudidn’t.Ifyouhad,
thenIwouldn’thavegottentoseethelookonhisfacewhenIslicedoffhis
handandthenhishead.”
Casteelstaredatme,thecornersofhislipscurvingup.His
lipsparted,andIsawahintofhisfangs.Thedimpleinhisrightcheek
appeared,andthenhisleft.Ifeltacurlingmotioninmystomach.“So
incrediblyviolent,myPrincess.”
Thecurlmovedevenlower.“I’mnotyourPrincess.”
Hechuckledasheturnedhisheadaway.“Youthinkyoucan
gobacktosleep?”heasked.“Weprobablyhaveacouplemorehoursbefore
Kieranorsomeonewillbebangingonthisdoortomakesureyouhaven’tfounda
waytomurdermeinthemiddleofthenight.”
Irolledmyeyes.
“Assoonasthestormblowsover,we’llleaveforSpessa’sEnd.”
IknewverylittleaboutSpessa’sEnd.Onlythatitwasa
smalltownsimilartoNewHaven,sittingontheedgeofStygianBay.Itwasthe
closesttowntoPompay,thelastAtlantianstrongholdduringthewar.Oneof
thePriestesseshadtoldmethatStygianBaywasthegatewaytotheTemplesof
Eternity,overseenbyRhain,thegodofCommonMenandEndings.She’ddescribed
theBayasblackasthenightsky.
Lyingdown,Iturnedontomyside,butIdidn’tsleep.
Instead,Istaredatthedyingflames,thinkingoftheDuke,thenightmare,and
theknowledgethattherewouldbelittlechanceofescapebetweenhereand
Spessa’sEnd.
“You’renotsleeping,areyou?”Casteelaskedsometime
later.
“Howdidyouknow?”
“You’rerockingovertherelikeyou’reababebeingwooedto
sleep.”
“Iamnot—”IswallowedagroanasIrealizedthatIwas
doingexactlythat.Istilledmylowerhalf.“Sorry.It’sanoldhabitfrom
whenIwasachild.Iusuallycan’tsleepafterthenightmares,”Iadmitted
afterafewseconds.
“Isthatwhenyousneakofftoexplorethecity?”
Sincehecouldn’tseeme,Igrinned.“Sometimes.Itall
dependedonhowlateitwas.”
“Well,there’snocityforyoutoexplore,”hesaid,andI
feltthebedshiftashemoved.“I’mconfidentyourememberhowadeptIamasa
sleepaid.”
Sparksdancedovermyskin.Ofcourse,Irememberedthe
nightintheBloodForest,whenhe’dslippedhishandbetweenmythighs,and
forthefirsttimeinmylife,I’ddiscoveredwhatpurepleasurewas.Itried
toblockthoseimages.“That’snotnecessary.”
“That’sdisappointing.”
“That’syourproblem—”IsuckedinasharpbreathasI
suddenlyfelthimagainstmyback.Itwisted.“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Holdingyou,”heanswered,curvinganarmovermywaist.
Myheartbouncedlikeachild’sball.“Idon’t—”
“That’sallI’mdoing,”hecutin.“Isometimesfindthat
beingclosetoanotherhelpsmefallasleep.”
Iwonderedhowhe’dgainedthatknowledge.Instead,Iasked,
“Thenwhydidn’tyousuggestthatintheBloodForest?”
“BecausethisisnotnearlyasfunorinterestingaswhatI
didthen,”hereplied.“Idohavethatdiaryaroundheresomewhere.Youknow,
theonewiththethrobbingco—”
“Iknowexactlywhichjournalyou’respeakingof.Andthat
won’tbenecessaryeither.”
“That’sallsodisappointing.”Hesettledhisheadbehind
mineasheallbutpulledmedown.“Ineedmysleep,andthat’snotgoingto
happenwhenitfeelslikeI’monaboat.”Hepaused.“Aricketyone.”
“Iwasn’trockingthatmuch!”Idenied,wigglingtoputspace
betweenus.
“Iwouldn’tadvisethat,”hesaid,voicegruffashisarm
tightened.
“Why?”
“Squirmafewmoreincheslower,andI’msureyou’llfind
outwhy.”
MyeyespoppedwideasIgrewvery,verystill.Washe…?Was
hearoused?Simplybecausehewaslyinginbednexttome?Wasthatallit
took?Afterwhatwe’djusttalkedabout?
Ibitdownonmylowerlip.Sometimes,allittookformewas
tolookathim,andI’dfeelacertainway.Knowingthathecouldexperience
allthewantanddesireafterwhathewentthroughwasarelief.Whathefelt
nowhadnothingtodowithwhathadbeendonetohim.WhatIfeltwhenhetouched
mehadnothingtodowithhowIfeltwhentheDukeplacedhishandsonme.I
knewthat.
AndIshouldn’tbeshockedtodiscoverthatCasteelwas
attractedtome.Thathadbeenabundantlyclearunless…thattoohadbeenan
act.
No,Ididn’tthinkitwasanact.
There’dbenoreasontoforcetheattractionnow,especially
notwhenitwasjustus—
“Icanpracticallyhearthewheelsofyourbrainturning,
Princess,”hesaid.
“WhydoyoubelieveI’mthinkingaboutanything?”I
demanded.
“Becauseyoucouldn’tbestiffer.Sleep,Poppy.Wehavea
lottotalkabouttomorrow.”
Themarriage.
Ourfuture.
Twothingsthatwereirrelevantbecausethefirstwasnever
goingtohappen,sotherecouldbenofutureforus.
Besides,howwasIsupposedtosleepwithhimcurledaround
melikeoneofthosesmall,fluffyanimalsthatlivedintreesnearthe
capital?Whatweretheycalled?Icouldn’tremember.I’donlyseendrawingsof
theminachildren’sbookI’doncefoundintheAtheneum.Theywerecuteand
lookedsoft,butVikterhadoncetoldmethattheywereviciouslittle
creatures.
“Doyouknowwhatthefluffyanimalsarecalledthatlivein
thetreesnearthecapital?”Iasked.
“What?”
“Theonesthathangontothelimbs,”Iexplained.“They’re
fluffyandcute,butaresupposedlyvicious.”
“Deargods,doIevenwanttoknowwhyyou’rethinkingof
thetreebears?”
“Treebear?”Mybrowpuckered.“That’sthename?”
“Poppy,”hesighed.
Irolledmyeyes.“Youremindmeofatreebear.”
“IwouldtellyouthatI’moffended,butthatrequiresspeaking,
whichmeansneitherofuswouldbesleeping.”
“Whatever,”Imuttered.
Lyingtherestiffly,Idebatedsnatchingthemeatknifeand
stabbinghiminthearmwithit.Thatseemedlikeabitofanoverreaction,but
itwasoneI’denjoy,atleastinthemoment.
Ididn’tknowexactlywhenorhowlongittook,but
somewherebetweenstaringattheknifeanddoingeverythingnottorock,my
eyelidsgrewheavy,andIdideventuallysleep.
AndIdidnotdream.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter8
ThenexttimeIsawCasteel,Iwasgoingtoshovethestupid
knifesofarintohischest,hewouldhavetodigitout.
Glaringatthedoor,guardedfromtheoutside,Iswalloweda
shoutoffrustrationandanger.WiththeexceptionofDelanoarrivingwith
lunch,I’dbeenlockedupinthisroomallday,aloneandgoingabsolutely
stir-crazy.
CasteelwasgonewhenIwoke,andthathadbeenawelcomed
discoverysincewakingupinhisarmswasnotsomethingIneededtoexperience
again.Thememoriesofsuchwerealreadyhardenoughtoforget.Buthours
later,asthesnowfellsteadilyandthewindhowledoutsidethenarrowwindow,
whatevergratitudeI’dfelthadshriveledupanddied.
Delanohadstoodguardoutsidenearlytheentireday.Iknew
becausethelasttimeIhadpoundedonthedoor,he’dansweredthroughthe
heavywood.He’drepliedinvirtuallythesamewayeachtimeIdemandedtobe
letout.
“Noonewishestochaseyouthroughasnowstorm.”
“I’drathernotbeguttedbythePrince,sono.”
“ThePrincewillreturnsoon.”
MyfavoritewaswhenI’dsaidthatIjustwantedsomefresh
air.“Nothingpersonal,butthereisliterallynowayIwouldtrustyouenough
tocrackthisdooropentoallowevenaninchoffreshairtoenteryour
chamber.”
Howwasthatnotpersonal?
Istartedtowardthedoor,planningtobangmyfistoffit
untilthewholekeepcamerunning—
ThedoorsuddenlyswungopenasDelanorushedinside,hand
onthehiltofhissword.Hedrewupshort,eyesbrightashecheckedmeover
andscannedtheroom.
“Areyouokay?”hedemanded.Delanohadthekindofface
thatoftentrickedyou.Exceptforthenearlyconstantcreasebetweenhisfair
brows,therewasaboyishnesstohisfeatures.Asifhewouldbegrinningthe
secondhethoughtyouweren’tlooking.Butinthatmoment,withthehardsetto
hisjawandthesteelinessinhiseyesI’dneverseenbefore,helookedasif
hewereabreathawayfromloppingoffsomeone’shead.
“Otherthanbeingangryaboutbeingtrappedinhere?Yes.”
Hiseyesnarrowed.“Youweren’tyelling?”
Mybrowslifted.“Notexternally.Didyouhearmeyelling?”
Delano’sheadtilted.“Whatdoyoumeanby…notexternally?”
“Iwasprobablyscreaminginternallyforbeinglockedin
here.”
“So,youweren’tscreaming?”
“No.Notoutloud.”Icrossedmyarms
Hisalreadylightskinseemedpaler.“Ithought…IthoughtI
heardyoucallingmyname.”Thecreasebetweenhisbrowsdeepened.“Screaming
forhelp.”Lettinggoofhissword,heranahandthroughhisnearly
white-blondhair.“Itmust’vebeenthewind.”
“Oryourguiltyconscience.”
“Probablythewind.”
Istartedtowardhim.
Thereitwas,aflashofagrin.“Sorrytointerrupt.”
“Interruptwhat?I’mstuckinthisroom.Whatcould—?”I
shriekedasthedoorclosedandlocked.“NowIamyelling!”
“It’sthewind,”heyelledbackthroughthedoor.
Istompedmyfootonceandthentwiceinsteadofgivingin
totheurgetoreallyscream.
Throwingmyselfontothebed,Ipicturedallthedifferent
placesIcouldstabDelano,butthenIfeltalittlebadaboutthat.Itwasn’t
hisfault.ItwasCasteel’s.So,IpicturedputtingasmanyholesinhimasI
coulduntilIstartedtodoze.Ididn’tfightit.Beingunconsciouswasfarbetter
thanrage-pacing.IhadnoideahowlongIslept,whetheritwasminutesor
hours,butwhenIopenedmyblearyeyes,apatchworkquilthadbeendrapedover
mylegs,andIsawthatIwasn’talone.AcrossfromthebedsatKieran,inthe
samechairasthenightbefore,practicallyinthesameposition—onebooted
footrestingonabentknee.
“Goodafternoon,”hesaidasIblinkedslowly,looking
betweenhimandthequilt.“Thequiltwasn’tme.ThatwasCas.”
He’dbeeninhere?WhileIslept?Thatsonofa—
“ThoughI’mgladyoufinallywokeup.Iwasgoingtogive
youanotherfiveminutesbeforeIriskedlifeandlimbtowakeyou.UnlikeCas,
watchingyousleepisnotsomethingIfindallthatentertaining.”
Casteelwatchedmesleep?Wait.HowlonghadKieranbeen
sittingthere?“Whatareyoudoinginhere?”Irasped.
“OtherthanwonderingexactlywhatchoicesImadeinmylife
thatledmetothisexactmoment?”Kieranasked.
Myeyesnarrowed.“Yes.Otherthanthat.”
“SinceIfiguredDelanowouldlikeabreakandwonderedif
youmightbehungry.I’mhopingthatyouarebecauseIwouldliketoeat,too.”
Mystomachimmediatelydecidedthatyes,itwouldlikesome
food,andgrumbledloudly.
“I’lltakethatasayes.”
Feelingmycheeksflush,Ishovedtheblanketoffandstood.
“AmIactuallyallowedtoleavethisroom?”
“Ofcourse.”
Mybrowslifted.“YousaythatasifI’maskingastupid
question.I’vebeenlockedinhereallday!”
“Ifyoucouldbetrustednottorun,thenperhapsyou
wouldn’tbelockedinhere.”
“Maybeifyouweren’tholdingmecaptive,Iwouldn’thaveto
tryandescape!”
“Goodpoint.”
Iblinked.
“Butitiswhatitis.”Kieranarchedabrow.“Doyouwish
toleavetheroomandeat,orwouldyourathersithereandstew?Yourchoice.”
Mychoice?Ialmostlaughed.“Ineedtousethebathing
chamberfirst.”
“Takeyourtime.I’lljustsithereandstareat…nothingnow.”
Rollingmyeyes,Istartedtoturn,andthenmystupidmouth
opened.“WhereisHisHighness?”
“Highness?Man,IbetCaslovesbeingreferredtoasthat.”
Kieranchuckled.“Youmisshimalready?”
“Oh,yes.That’sexactlywhyI’masking.”
Hegrinned.“He’sbeenspeakingwithAlastirandseveralof
theothersintown.Ifhewasn’tthePrinceofAtlantia,withallhisprincely
duties,I’msurehe’dbehere…”Hispaleeyesglimmered.“Watchingyousleep.”
“Thankthegodsthathehassomethingtopasshistimewith
then,”Imuttered
Ignoringthat,Ihurriedintothebathingchamber.Itook
careofmyneedsandthengrabbedthebrushfromthesmallvanity.Myhairwas
amessfromsleepingonit,andtherewasagoodchancethatItorehalfofit
outwhiletryingtogettheknotsout.OnceIfinished,Iplacedthebrushback
andthenlookedinthesmallmirror,tiltingmyheadtotheside.
Iwasn’tlookingatthescars,thoughIthoughttheyseemed
lessnoticeablesomehow—couldbethelighting.RatheritwasmyeyesthatI
staredat.Theyweregreen,passeddownfrommyfathertoIanandme.My
mother’swerebrown,andIthoughtofhowtheAtlantianshadgoldenor
hazel-coloredeyes.Hadmymother’sbeenaplainshadeofbrown?Orhadthey
beenagoldenbrown?WasIjustassumingthatallAtlantianshadsomeshadeof
goldintheireyes?
Turningmyheadtotheside,Isawthatthebitemarkwas
nowjustapalepurplebruise.ItlookedlikeoneofthelovebitesI’dread
aboutinMissWillaColyns’diary.IflushedasIquicklybraidedmyhair.Once
completed,Itossedtheplaitovermyshoulder,hopingthethicktailwould
stayinplace,concealingthemark.
Mygazeloweredtomyhands.Ihavealotofbloodonmy
hands.AsangryasIwasatCasteel,hiswordsstillhauntedme,asdid
whathe’dsharedaboutthetimehe’dspentasacaptive.Hedidn’tdeserve
that.
Partofmestillcouldn’tbelievethathe’dtakenownership
forVikterandtheothers,andIcouldn’thelpbutwonderiftheirdeathswere
partofwhatstainedhissoul.
Ialsowonderedifwhathehadn’tbeenabletocontrolwhen
hewasheldalsodarkenedhissoul.
Ifso,thatsatevenheavieronmyheart,andIwasn’tsure
whattodowithanyofthat.Horrificthingshadbeendonetohim.He’ddone
terriblethings.Neithercanceledouttheother.
KieranwasatleaststandingwhenIexitedthebathing
chamber.Hefacedthebankedfire,andIwonderedifthatwasasfarashe’d
moved.
“Doyouevergetbored?”Iasked.
“Withwhat?”hereplied,soundingasdisinterestedas
possible.
“Withstandingaroundandwaitingforme?Itseemslikeyou
aretaskedwithdoingsoquiteoften.”
“It’sactuallyanhonortoguardwhatthePrincevaluesso
highly,”hereplied.“AndsinceI’mneverquitesurewhatyou’regoingtodo
fromonesecondtothenext,it’snotevenremotelyboring.Thatis,except
whenyou’resleeping.”
Imadeaclosedmouthsoundofannoyanceasmyheart
immediatelywenttowarwithmybrainoverwhyIwasconsideredsomethingthe
Princevalued.Myheart,whichgaveahappylittleflop,wasobviouslystupid.
Iwenttothefireplaceandpickedupthethighsheath.
Relievedtofindthesuppleleatherdry,Iasked,“Haveyouseenmydagger?”
“Theonefashionedfromwolvenbone?”
Icringed.“Yes,thatone.”
“Ihavenot.”
Feelingabitcontriteandinsensitive,Iturnedtohim.
“Aboutthe…thehandle.Ihavenoideahowthatcameintocreationorwhen.It
wasgiventomeasagift—”
“Iknow,”heinterrupted.“Unlessyouaretheonewhocarved
itfromthebonesofawolven,youdon’tneedtoapologize.Iimagineitwas
createdshortlyaftertheWarofTwoKings.Manyofmykindfellduringthe
battles,andnotallthebodiescouldberetrieved.”
Iwantedtoapologizeagain,especiallywhenIthoughtabout
howfamilieshadn’thadthechancetohonortheirlovedoneswithwhatever
burialpracticestheyobserved.IresistedtheurgetocommentasIslippedthe
bentmeatknifeintothesheath,halfexpectingKierantosaysomething,but
allhedidwassmilefaintlywhenIglancedathim.
“Ready?”heasked.WhenInodded,hepeeledawayfromthe
wall.“Leadtheway.”
Ididjustthat,anditgavemegreatsatisfactiontodoso.
Openingthedoor,Isteppedoutsideandheadeddownthewalkway.Whydidit
neverfeelnearlyascoldwhenitsnowed?
AbetterquestionresurfacedasIopenedthedoortothe
stairwell.“AreallAtlantians’eyesagoldenshade?”
“That’sanincrediblyrandomquestion,”hesaid,catching
thedoorbeforeitswungshutinhisface.“But,yes,mostAtlantianshavesome
shadeofgoldintheireyes.Onlythoseoftheelementalbloodlinehavepure
goldeneyes.”
Ialmostmissedastep.“Elementalbloodline?”Iasked,
lookingovermyshoulder.
“NotallAtlantiansarethesame,”heremarked.“Didyour
historybooksleavethatout?”
“Yes,”Igrumbled,facingforward.Thetextsmentionedthe
wolvenasbeingapartofAtlantia,butnothinghadeversuggestedtherewere
different…bloodlines.“Whatistheelementalbloodline?”
“ThosewhosebloodispurelyAtlantianandcanbetracedback
totheearliestknownAtlantians,”heanswered.“Notdescendantsbybloodbut
bycreation.”
“Theywerecreatedbyother…Atlantians?”
“Yes,bythedeities,thechildrenofthegods.”
“Really?”Isaiddoubtfully.“Deities?”
“Really.”
Mybrowsknittedaswereachedthelanding.Iwasn’tsureif
Ibelievedthat,butwhatdidIknow?Ilookedbackathim.“Areanyofthem
stillinAtlantia?”
“Iftherewere,CaswouldnotbeourPrince.”Amuscle
flexedinKieran’sjaw.“Thelastoftheirlinewasgonebytheendofthe
war.”
“Whatdoesthatmean?ThatCasteelwouldn’tbethePrince?”
“Theyweredeities,Penellaphe.Theoneswhocreatedthe
elementalAtlantians.Adropoftheirbloodisadropfromthegods.Theywould
usurpanybloodlinethatsatonthethrone.”
“Allbecausetheycanlinktheirbloodbackto
these…deities?”
“TheyruledAtlantiasincethedawnoftime,upuntilthe
lastofthemdied.Theyweren’tjustabloodline,”hesaid.“Theywere
Atlantia.”
Okay,then.“AndCasteelisoftheelementalline?”
“Heis.”
Well,ifanyonewouldsomehowbeconnectedtodeitiesand
gods,itwouldbehim.Itexplainedhisarroganceandhigh-handedattitude.
“So,thereareotherswholiveinAtlantia?Besidesthewolven?”
“Thereare,”hesaid,
surprisingme.Ihalfexpectedhimtodeemtheinformationconfidential.“Those
withmortalblood,usuallyfirstorsecond-generationwithoneAtlantianand
onemortalparent.”
Thosehadbeenthehalf-AtlantiansCasteelhadspokenofthe
nightprior.
“Veryrarelydoesa
third-generationormoreremovedhaveanydiscernibleAtlantianbloodor
traits.Buteventhoughtheyhavemortallifespans,theyaren’toftenplagued
byillnessesordisease.”
“Sincetheirbloodcanfeedoneofanelementallineandbe
usedtomakevamprys,theydon’tneedbloodaftertheirCulling,dothey?”I
asked,realizingIhadn’ttalkedwithCasteelaboutthatpart.
Kieranraisedaneyebrow.“No.Theydonotneedblood.”
Thatwasarelief,althoughCasteel’sbloodtastednothing
likeI’deverimagined.“Dothoseoftheelementallineneedfood?”I’dseen
Casteeleat.I’dactuallyseentheAscendedeat.“Dovamprys?”
“Thoseoftheelementallinecangolongperiodswithout
foodbutdoingsorequiresthemtotakebloodmoreoften.Vampryscaneat,but
theydon’tneedto.Fooddoesnothingtoslaketheirbloodlust.”
Istoppedinthestairwell.“Theoneswhoarepart
mortal…thosearetheoneswitheyesthatarehazelbutmoregold?”
“You’dbecorrectinyourassumption.”
“Thenwhyareminegreen?Neitherofmyparentshadhazel
eyes,”Itoldhim.“Mymothercould’vehadgoldenbrown,butI’mprettysure
hereyeswerejustbrown.”
Heglancedatthedoor.“Ifyourmotherorfatherhad
Atlantianbloodinthem,thatdoesn’tmeantheywerepurelyAtlantian.They
could’vebeensecond-generationandyourmemoryoftheireyecolorfaulty.”
Ifrowned.“Irememberthecoloroftheireyes.”
Heglanceddownatme.“It’salsopossiblethatneitherof
themwereyourbirthparents.”
Ialmosttrippedagain.“Didtheyjustfindmeinafieldor
somethinganddecidetokeepme?”
“Mortalsoftendoinexplicableandstrangethings,Penellaphe.”
“Whatever.”AlotofthingsseemedimpossiblethatIwas
workingtoaccept.Bothofmyparentsnotactuallybeingmybloodedparents
wasn’toneofthem.“Aretheremore…bloodlines?”
“Thereare.”
Iwaitedwhilehestaredatme.“Areyougoingtotellme
whattheyare?”
Amusementcreptintohiswintryeyes.“Thereweremany
bloodlinesatonetime.However,mosthaveeitherdiedoffnaturallyorwere
lostinthewar.Thechangelingsareanotherbloodline,althoughtheirnumbers
havesignificantlydwindled.”
“Changelings?”Irepeatedslowly,havingneverheardthe
wordbefore.
“Mostareoftwoworlds,abletoshifttheirforms.”
“Likeawolven?”
“Yes.Some.”Hisgazeswiveledtothedooragain,andhis
eyesnarrowed.“Manybelievetheyaredistantcousinsofthewolven,the
offspringofadeityandawolven.”
“Whatkindofformscantheyshiftinto?”Iasked,thinking
ofoneofthestoriesIanhadsent,theoneaboutthewaterfolk.Ialmost
askediftheycouldshiftintopartfish,butthatwastooridiculousformeto
evenutter.
“Manydifferentforms.Butthatwillhavetowait.He
pressedafingertomylipswhenIopenedmymouth.“Onesecond.”
Ifrowned,buthemovedhishand,brushingpastmetoopen
thedoor.Ifollowedonhisheels.Whenhecametoasuddenstop,Ialmost
walkedrightintohisback.
“Kieran.”Thefamiliar,raspyvoicecausedmyheartto
lurch,eventhoughIknewitwasn’tVikter.ItwasAlastir.“I’vebeen
wonderingwhereyouweretoday.IexpectedtoseeyouwithCasteel.”
“I’vebeenbusy,”Kierananswered.“IsCasbackalready?”
“He’sstillwithElijah,speakingabout…abouttheupcoming
move.”TherewasapauseasIpeekedaroundKieran.Alastir’shairwaspulled
backinaknotatthenapeofhisneck.Withoutthecloak,Isawthathewasn’t
withoutweapons.Adaggerwasstrappedtoonethigh,andagolden-trimmedscabbard
heldaswordonhisoppositehip.Alastiralsowasn’talone.
Amanwithauburnwavesandthesamevividgoldeyesas
Casteelwaswithhim.AnelementalAtlantian,Inowknew.Hisgazeslidfrom
thewolventowhereIstood,mostlyhiddenbehindKieran.Onesideofhislips
tippedup.
Kieranmovedtotheside,blockingmyviewoftheelemental.
“AsI’msureyouknow,thereareconcerns,”Alastir
continued.
“ConcernsfromElijahoryou?”Kieranasked.
“Concernsfromall,”Alastiranswered.“It’sasizablegroup
tomoveandkeephealthyandwholeduringthetrip.Andoncethere…”
Mymindrapidlyturnedthatover.Werethepeoplewholived
inNewHavenmakingthemovetoAtlantia?EventheDescenters,whowereofnoAtlantian
descent?Ithoughttheconcernshadalottodowiththeirlimitedland.But
whyweretheygoingtherenow?
Kierancrossedhisarms.“Itneedstobedone.”
“Doesit?”camethequietreplyfromAlastir.
“Iwouldthinkyouofallpeoplewouldknowthatitdoes,”
KieransaidasIsilentlysteppedfarthertotheside.“Todonothingis
cruel.”
Alastir’sfeaturesweresomberashesaid,“Iagree.Doing
nothingiscruel.Myhesitationdoesn’tcomefromaplaceofapathy.Hell,you
knowI’vespentthebetterpartofmylifelocatingourpeopleandtheir
offspringtrappedinSolisandbringingthemhome.”Alastirplacedhishandon
Kieran’sshoulder.“Myhesitationcomesfromaplaceofempathy.Ihopeyouand
Casteelrealizethat.”
“Wedo.”Kieranclampedhishandovertheolderwolven’sforearm.
“It’sjustacomplicatedsituation.”
“Thatitis.”AlastirturnedhisheadtowhereIstood.“But
notnearlyascomplicatedasthis.”
Kieranstartedtoblockmeoncemore,andI’dhaditwith
theridiculousness.“Hecanseemestandingbehindyou,”Isaid.“You’rea
giantoaf,butnotthatgiantofanoaf.”
AwidesmilebrokeoutacrossAlastir’sface,andthe
elementalbehindhimlaughed.
Kieransighed.
“Iwashopingwe’dgetachancetocrosspathsagainwithout
thePrincerushingyouoff.”Thewolven’ssmiletightened.“Hedoesseemquite
takenwithyou.”
Itensed,immediatelywantingtoputoutthatbasedonwhat
Casteelplannedtodo,hecouldn’tbetakenwithme.ButrecallingthatCasteel
hadsaidthathewasworkingonmakingsuremylifewasn’tinjeopardywith
thisman,Imanagedtokeepthattomyself.“Ithinkhe’sfarmoretakenwith
himself.”
Aloudlaughburstfromtheelemental.“IthinkIcannowbe
countedasoneofthosetakenwithyou.”
Mycheeksflushed,burningevendeeperwhenKieransaid,“I
wouldadviseagainstsayingthatinfrontofCasteel.”
“Ilikemyheadattachedtomybody,andmyheartinmy
chest,”theelementalresponded.“Ihavenoplanstorepeatthat.”
“Hedidsayyouwere…quiteoutspoken.”
Icrossedmyarms.“Morelikewarnedyou?”
“Somethinglikethat,butsurprisingnonetheless.”Alastir’s
paleeyesdancedwithamusement.“Wedidn’tgetachancetobeproperlyintroduced
yesterday.I’mAlastirDavenwellandtheonebehindmeisEmilDa’Lahr.”
Emilgrinnedashenoddedinmydirection.“Iwillforever
thinkofKieranasagiantoafnow,thankstoyou.”
“That’sgreat,”mutteredthewolvenstandingbesideme.
SparingaquickglanceatKieran’sstoicexpression,Isaid,
“I’mPenellaphe…PenellapheBalfour.”
Alastir’sgazesharpenedonmeashisbrowsnarrowed.
“Balfour?”
Inodded.
“That’sanoldname,onethatgoesbackseveralhundred
yearsinSolis,”Alastirsaid.
Howoldwasthiswolven?“Myfather’sfamilywasinvolvedin
shipping.Theyweremerchants.”
“CasteelhastoldmethatyouareofAtlantiandescent,”
Alastirsaidafteramoment.“WhichwouldexplainwhytheAscendedhavedeemed
youtheMaidenandkeptyouclosetothem.”Hisheadtilted.Hemust’veseen
somethinginmyexpression,becausehecontinued.“You’velearnedwhattheyhad
plannedforyou.”
Astatement,butInoddedanyway.
“Iamsorryforthat,”heofferedsoftly,bowinghishead
slightly.“Icannotimaginewhatitmustfeelliketolearnthatthosewho
caredforyoudidsoforsuchabhorrentreasons.”
Itfeltliketheworldwasnothingbutaviolentlie.
“YourmotherwasclosetothevampryQueen,andyour
father’sfamilyafriendtotheKing?Correct?”
Surpriseflickeredthroughme.“DidCasteeltellyouthat?”
Afaintsmileappeared.“Iknewsomeofyourbackground
beforeImetyou,Penellaphe.WordofaMaiden,oneChosenbythegods,reached
Atlantialongago.”
Thatdidn’tmakemefeelentirelycomfortable.“Iguessthat
cameasashocktoyourpeoplesinceyourgodsareasleep,thereforeunableto
chooseanyone.”
Emilchuckled.“Thatitdid.Wewonderediftheyhadwokenand
forgottenaboutus.”
“Ithinkwhatismoreofashockislearningthatyou’reof
Atlantiandescent,”Alastirsaid,browsknitted.“Especiallysinceyourmother
andfatherweresoconnectedtotheBloodCrown.”
“TheBloodCrown?”
“TheQueenandKingofSolis.TheRoyals,”explainedKieran.
“They’rereferredtoastheBloodCrown.”
Iwassuretherewasdisturbingaccuracybehindthattitle.
“Itleavesmewiththequestionofhowyou’reevenhere,”
saidAlastir.
Kieranunfoldedhisarms.“Whatisthatsupposedtomean?”
“Youcan’ttellmethatneitheryounorthePrincehaswondered
howtheparentofsomeoneofAtlantiandescentsurvivedlongsoclosetothe
BloodCrown.”Alastirlookedatme.“It’snotthattheycansenseus,butbeing
thatclose,Iimagineitwould’vebeendiscovered.”
“Andtheywould’veusedoneofthemaswhat?Abloodbag?”I
finished.
Emil’sbrowsrose.“That’sonewayofputtingit,butyes.”
“Idon’tknowwhichonewasAtlantian,”Iadmitted.“Kieran
seemstothinkthatIwasfoundinafield.”
Emilsentaquestioninglookatthewolven.
Kieransighed.“Ididnotsaythat.Imerelysuggestedthat
oneorevenpossiblybothweren’therbloodedparents.”
“That’spossible.”AthoughtfulexpressionenteredAlastir’s
features.“Ineverheardwhatbecameofyourparents.Aretheystillinthe
capitalofSolis?Ifso,thenIimaginetheanswerlieswiththem.”
“Myparentsarenolongeralive.”UnsureifheknewofIan,
Ididn’tmentionhim.“TheywerekilledinaCravenattackoutsidethecity.”
Alastirpaledashe
staredatme.“Isthat…?”Hetrailedoff,linesbracketinghismouth.
IhadafeelingIknewwhathehadbeenabouttoask.“It
washowIwasscarred,”Itoldhim,holdinghisstare.
Thelinesathismouthdeepened.“Youwearyourscars
proudly,Penellaphe.”
“Asdoyou,”Imurmured.
“Iamsorrytolearnofyourparents,”Alastirsaid.“Iwish
therewasmoreIcouldsay.”
“Thankyou,”Imurmured.
“Weneedtogetgoing.”Kierantouchedmybacklightly.
“Excuseus.”
AlastirnoddedasbothheandEmilsteppedaside.“Itwas
nicetospeakwithyou,Penellaphe.”
“You,too,”Isaid,sendingbothmenasmallsmile.
Kieranusheredmethroughtheotherwiseemptycommonarea.I
lookedovermyshouldertoseebothmalesstillstandingthere,watchingus.I
turnedbacktothehall.MystepsslowedasIsaidinalowvoice,“They…seemed
nice.Arethey?”
“Theyarebothgoodmen,loyaltoAtlantiaandtheDa’Neer
dynasty.”
Dynasty.IsthatwhatCasteel’sfamilywas?A
dynasty?
“Come.”Hetouchedmybackagain.“Wemusteat.You
musteat.”
IforcedmystepstokeeppacewithKieran’sasI
momentarilyforgotaboutAlastir.Icouldn’tseebeyondthebend,buttiny
knotstangledupmystomach.Ididn’twanttoseethewallswiththehangingdead
again.“Whyiseveryonesoconcernedaboutmeeating?”
“WewanttotakeyoutoAtlantia.Notstarveyou.”
Atlantia.Myalreadychurningstomachdipped.Iknewso
littleaboutwhatrosefromthebloodandashofwar.“Dotheyreallyhave
runninghotwaterthere,availablein…faucets?”
Kieranblinkedonceandthentwice.“Yes.Theydo.Itis
probablythethingImissthemostwhenIamhere.”
“Thatsoundslovely,”Imurmured.“Thehotwaterpart.Not
themissingitpart.”
“Ifiguredthatwaswhatyoumeant.”
AsInearedthebend,Isteeledmyselfforthegrotesque
sightofthebodiesspikedtothewalls.WasJerichostillalive?Hadthe
othersbeguntorot?Itwascoolenoughinherethattheotherswouldprobably
lookastheyhadbefore,onlygrayerandwaxier.MyemptystomachchurnedasI
steppedintothehallandliftedmygaze.
Thewallswerebare.
Nobodies.Noevidenceofblood,nothingstreamingdownthe
wallsandfindingthetinycracksinthestonetoformlittlerivers.Noneon
thefloor,either.
Ipressedmyhandtomystomach.“They’regone.”
“Cashadthemremovedlastnightafterdinner,”Kieran
advised.
Surpriseshuttledthroughme.“AndJericho?”
“Heisnomore.Casteeltookcareofhimwhileyouwere
runningofftostartanewlife,onewhichwould’veendedincertain
dismembermentanddeathatthehandsoftheCraven.”
Ignoringthatjab,Ididn’tknowifIshouldfeelas
relievedasIdid.“Did…didCasteelbelievehiswarningwasheard?”
“Ibelievehewasmoreconcernedaboutwhatyousaidthanif
hiswarningwasleftuplongenoughtobeheeded.”Kierancrossedthroughthe
opendoors.“I,ontheotherhand,would’veleftJerichoupthereforatleast
anotherdayorso.”
Mymouthdroppedopen.Iwasn’tsurewhatshockedmemore.
ThatCasteelhadacteduponwhatI’dsaid,orthatKieranwould’veleftthe
traitorouswolvenlingeringinapainfulstateofalmostdeath.“Thereshould
alwaysbedignityindeath,”IsaidonceIfoundmyvoice.“Nomatterwhat.”
Kierandidn’tanswerasheledmetoanemptytable.The
chairsfromthenightbeforehadbeenreplacedbyalongbench.IsatasI
lookedaround,spottingonlyafewpeopletowardthebackofthebanquethall,near
thehearthandseveraldoors.Wherewaseveryone?WithCasteelandElijah?
IturnedasKieransatbesideme.“Idon’tthinkCasteel
acteduponmywords,butifhedid,I’mgratefultohearthat.”
Herestedanelbowonthetable.“Idon’tthinkyourealize
howmuchswayyouhaveoverhim.”
Istartedtodenysuchastatement,butanolderwomanwith
awhitesmockcoveringthefrontofhersoftyellowgownhurriedtothetable,
carryingtwoplates.Thescentoffoodcausedmystomachtomakeitselfknownonce
more.Sheplacedoneinfrontofus,bothfulloffluffymashedpotatoes,roasted
meat,andglisteningrollsontheside.Asinconspicuouslyaspossible,Inoted
thecolorofhereyes.Theywerebrownwithnohintofgold.
“Thankyou,”Isaid.
Therewasagruntofacknowledgment,butwhenKieranoffered
thesamethanks,hewasgivenawarmsmileandasweet,“thankyou.”Mylips
pursed,butIdidn’tletitbothermeasIsnatcheduptheforkandstarted
shovelingthepotatoesintomymouth.Thoughitwasauniqueexperienceforme
toevenbeabletolookanyoneintheface,orforthemtoseeme,andforus
toexchangeevensimplepleasantries.Themouthfulofpotatoesturnedto
sawdustonmytongue,soIguessedherresponsedidbotherme.A
little.
LookingoveratKieran,Isawthathehadbeengivenaforkand
aknife.Myeyesnarrowed.Itwasslightlythinner,butfarsharperthanmysad
blade.
Finishingoffthepotatoes,Igotbacktomylineof
questioning.“Shewasmortal,wasn’tshe?Thewomanwhobroughtthefoodtous?”
Cuttinguphisroastedmeatintoneatpiecesthatallappeared
tobethesamesize,henodded.“Sheis.”
ThenshemustbeaDescenter,amortalofSolis.Iusedto
wonderwhatsortofhardshipssomeonehadtofaceintheirlifetoleadthemto
supporttheDarkOneandthefallenkingdom.ButthatwasbeforeIknewthe
truth.Now,Iwonderedwhathardshiphadawokenhertothetruth.
“ArethepeoplehereplanningtoleaveforAtlantia?”I
asked.
“Youputtwoandtwotogether,Isee.”
“I’msmartlikethat.”
Heraisedabrow.
“So,I’mright?Whyaretheyleavinghere?”
“Whywouldanyonewanttoremainunderthecontrolofthe
Ascended?”
Well,thatsoundedlikeagoodenoughreason.“Butwhynow?”
“Soonerratherthanlater,theAscendedwillrealizethattheir
Maidenismissing,andtheywillcomelookingforyou.Theywillcomehere,”
Kieransaid.“AndtherearefartoomanysupportersinNewHaven.”
Mygazeliftedtothenow-emptyhearthasIthoughtofall
thefilledhomesalongthestreetwe’dcomeinon.“Howmanypeoplelivehere?”
“Severalhundred.”
“IsthereroomfortheminAtlantia?”
Hisgazeslidtomine,andIcouldtellhewasworkingout
thatIknewabouttheirlandproblem.“Wewillmakeroom.”
Ihadafeelingitwasn’tthatsimple.Iwantedtoknowwhat
wouldhappeniftheyweren’tabletomovethemintime.IstoppedbeforeI
could.Itwasn’tmyproblem.Theirproblemsweren’tmine.
Kieranhadfinally,afterabouttenyears,finishingcutting
uphisfood.“MayIhavethat?Ifyou’redone,thatis?I’mnotsure,butthe
lastpieceisalittlethickerthantherestofthepieces.”
Slowly,helookedoveratme.“Wouldyoulikemetocutyour
foodforyou?”
“Wouldyoulikemetoknockyouoffthisbench?”
Hechuckleddeeply.“Casisright.Youareincredibly
violent.”
“No,I’mnot.”Ipointedmyforkathim.“I’mjustnota
child.Idon’tneedsomeoneelsecuttingmymeat.”
“Uh-huh.”Hehandedtheknifeover,andItookitbeforehe
couldchangehismind.
Ididn’ttakenearlythesameamountoftimetoslicethe
tendermeat,butIdidn’thandtheknifebackovereither.Ikeptitinmyleft
handasIspearedthefoodwithmyfork.“Whereiseveryone?”
“Livingtheirbestlives,Isuppose,”herepliedrather
wistfully.
Ishothimadarklook,butIwasundaunted.“Anyway,”I
drewouttheword,gettingbacktowhatwehadbeentalkingaboutbeforeweran
intoAlastir.“Whatdoyoucalltheoneswhohavemortalbloodinthem?The
half-Atlantians?Likewhatwouldyoucallme?”
“Atlantian.”
“Really?”Ireplied,pickinguponeoftherolls.“That
makesthingsconfusing.”
“Nottome.”
Rollingmyeyes,Ibitintothebreadandalmostmoaned.It
wassobuttery,andtherewasahintofsweetnessIcouldn’tplace.Whateverit
was,itwasamazing.
“Theamountofbloodsomeonehasdoesnotdefinean
Atlantian,”Kieranelaborated.“Thosewhoareelementalarenomoreimportant
thanthosewhoaren’t.”
Iwasn’tsureIbelievedthatifthosewhowereelemental
weremorepowerful,livedlonger,andwerecreatedbythechildrenofthegods.
“Dothechangelingshavelongerlifespans?I’mguessingthewolvendo.”
“Wedo.”Hesighed,pickinguphiscup.“Andtheydo.”
“Howlongdotheynormallylive?”Ipickedupacloth,
wipingmyfingers,andthenIreacheddown,unsheathingmyruinedknife.
“Longerthanyoucancomprehend.”Hestaredstraightahead,
chewingslowly.
“Icancomprehendalongtime.TheAscendedliveforever.
TheAtlantians—well,theoneswhoareoftheelementalline,practicallydo,
too.”Iplacedtheruinedknifeonthetableandslippedtheotheroneunder
andintoitssheath.
“Nothinglivesforever.Anythingcanbekilledifyoutry
hardenough.”
Overlyproudofmyself,Istabbedanotherpieceofmeat.“I
suppose.”
“Butnomatterhowhardyoutrywiththatknifeyoujust
swiped,”hesaid,andmyeyeswidened,“youwillnotbeabletokillCaswith
it.”
Myheadswunginhisdirection.“I’mnotplanningtokill
himwithit.”
“Iwouldhopenot.”Helookedatmefromthecornerofhis
eye.“Itwouldprobablyonlyfurtherendearyoutohim.”
Igaveasmallshakeofmyhead.“I’mgoingtoignorethat
incrediblydisturbingpossibility.”
“Ignoringsomethingdoesn’tmakeitlesstrue,Penellaphe.”
“WhydoyoucallmePenellaphe?”
“Whydoyouhavesomanyquestions?”
Myeyesnarrowed.“Whycan’tyouanswerthequestion?”
Kieranleanedover,dippinghischin.“Nicknamesareoften
reservedforfriends.Idon’tbelieveyouconsiderusfriends.”
WhathesaidmadesomuchsensethatIwasn’tquitesurehow
torespond.WhenIdid,Idoubtedhewouldbehappytolearnthatitwas
anotherquestion.“LikehowAtlantiansonlysharetheirmiddlenameswith
friends?”
“Withclosefriends,yes.”Hestudiedmeamoment.
“I’mguessingCasteeltoldyouhis.”
“Yes.”
“Didthatchangeanythingforyou?”
Ididn’tanswerbecauseIstilldidn’tunderstandwhyit
matteredtome.OrmaybeIdid,andIjustdidn’twanttoacknowledgeit.
Kierandidn’tpushit,andwefinishedwhatwasleftofourlunchinsilence.I
keptglancingtowardtheopendoorway.NotthatIwaslookingforCasteel,but
I…Iwaslookingforanyone.Thefewpeoplewhohadbeenatthebackoftheroom
hadallbutdisappeared.
IimaginedKieranwasgratefulforthereprieve,butsadly
forhim,itwasshort-lived.“YouknowwhatIdon’tunderstand?”
“Yetanotherquestion,”hesaid,heavinganabsurdlyloud
sigh.
Ipretendednottohearhiscomment.“Alastirbroughtupa
goodpointaboutmyparents.Imustbeasecond-generation,right?Sinceneither
ofmyparentswerefull-blooded,likeborninAtlantiaasfarasIknow,”I
toldhim.“ButQueenIleanaknewwhatIwas…”Itrailedoff,frowning.
ItrulyhadnoideaiftheAscendedknewwhatIwasbefore
oraftertheCravenattack.SurvivingtheCraven’sbiteandnotturning
would’vebeenadeadgiveawaytoQueenIleana.
“What?”Kieranprodded.
“I…Ihonestlycan’trememberbeingreferredtoastheMaiden
ortheChosenbeforemyparentsleft.ButIwassoyoung,andtherearesofew
memories.”AndwhatIrememberedofthenightoftheCravenattack,Icouldn’t
exactlytrustasreal.“Idon’tknowhowtheylearnedwhatIwas.Ifitweremy
abilitiesbeforetheattackorifitwasafterthat.”
“Andyoudon’trememberwhatmadeyourparentsleavethecapital?”
“Irememberthemsayingthattheywantedaquieterlife,but
what…whatiftheyknewwhatwouldhappentome?Totheirchildren?”
“AndtheywereescapingtheAscended?”Kierantookadrink.
“That’sapossibility.”
Iglancedbackatthedoors.“Alastirhelpedtorelocate
AtlantianswhowerestrandedinSolis?”
“Hedid,butifyourparentswerefirst-generation,unaware
ofwhattheywere,Idoubttheywould’veknownhowtoevencontactsomeonelike
Alastir.“
“Howwouldtheyhavecontactedhim?”Iturnedbackaround.
“Theywould’vehadtoknowsomeonewhoknewsomeonewhoknew
someone,andthroughthewholechainofpeople,they’dhavehadtotrusteach
andeveryonecompletely.”
ConsideringhowDescentersweretreated,Icouldn’timagine
anyonehavingthatkindoftrust.Butstill,whatiftheyhadbeenseeking
someonelikeAlastir?Whatifthey’dleftwithoutevenknowingthattherewere
othersouttherethatcouldhelpthem?Wouldthathavechangedtheoutcomeat
all?Probably.
“Alastirdidbringupanothergoodpoint,”Kierancommented.
“Howeitherofmyparentsdidn’tendupbeingusedtocreate
morevampry.”
“Unless…”
Iknewwherehewasheadingwiththat.“Anyway,backtomy
originalquestion.”
“Yay,”hemuttered.
“Ifmyparentswerefirst-generation,thenIwouldbesecond.”
Hisgazeflickeredovermyface,passingoverthescarswithout
evensomuchasaslightwideningoftheeyes.“Assumingthattheyare
bothyourparents,yes.Iwouldalmostthinkyourabilitieswouldmakeyou
first-generation,butit’spossiblethatyou’resecond.”
“AndallAtlantianshavegoldeneyes,insomeshapeor
form,”Isaid.“AsI’msureyoucantell,Idon’thavegoldeneyes.”
“No,youdon’t.ButIneversaidallAtlantianshavegolden
eyes.Isaidmostdo,”Kieransaid,toyingwiththefork.“Changelings
don’t,andtheyhavenouniqueeyecolor.Neitherdidafewoftheother
bloodlineswebelievedhaddiedoff,”headded,theforkstillingbetweenhis
fingers.“Maybewewerewrongtoassumethatsomeoftheolderlineshave
ceasedtoexist.Perhapsyou’reproofofthat.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter9
“YouthinkImightbeadescendentofoneoftheother
bloodlines?Or…orachangeling?”Athousandthoughtsenteredmyheadallat
once.“Ican’tchangemyform.Imean,Ihaven’ttried.ShouldI?”Mynose
wrinkled.“Probablynot.Knowingmyluck,myotherformwouldbeabarrat.”I
shuddered.Barratswereratsthesizeofasmallbear.
Kieranstaredatme,hislipstwitching.“Youhavea
selectivememory.Isaidmostcanshiftforms,butnotall.Andit
wouldbeextremelydoubtfulthatevenafirst-generationdescendentofthe
changelingbloodlinecoulddothat.”
“Sorry,Igothunguponthewholeshiftingformspart.What
cantheothersdo?Theoneswhodon’tshift?”
“Somehaveheightenedsenses—mentalabilities.Asthoseof
anelementallineoftendo.”
“Like…beingabletotellthefutureorknowingthingsabout
people?”
Henodded.
Thewomanwho’dbeenintheRedPearlcametomind
immediately.She’dknownwaytoomuchforsomeoneI’dnevermetbefore,andI’d
wonderedthenifshe’dbeenaSeer,butitseemedmorelikelythatshehadbeen
workingwithCasteel.Butshe’dsaidsomething.Ithadbeenstrangethen,but
virtuallymeaningless.Whathaditbeen?
Youarelikeaseconddaughter,butnotinthewayyou
intend.
Hadshemeantseconddaughterasin…second-generation?
Eitherway,withmyabilities,itwouldmakesensethatI
haddescendedfromsuchabloodline.Beingabletotellwhatotherswere
feelingwasaheightenedsense.
“Whatabouttheotherbloodlines?”Iasked.“Theonesthat
diedoff?”
“Therewere—”Kieran’sheadsuddenlytwistedtowardthe
doorway.Ifollowedhisgaze,findingtheareaemptyatfirst.However,within
seconds,heappeared.
ThebreathItooksortofgotstucksomewhereinmychest
whenIsawCasteel.Annoyedbythereactionandalsosomewhatawedbytheidea
thatthemeresightofsomeonecouldcausesuchaphysicalresponse,Ihadto
admitthathecutastrikingandimposingfiguredressedinblackbreechesand
atunicwithaheavy,fur-linedcloakdrapedoverhisshoulders.Ashestrode
forward,thecloakparted,revealingbothofhisshortswords,sheathedclose
tothesidesofhisstomach,theirdeadly,sharppointsweretuckedawayfrom
hisarms,andtheserratedsideslayflatagainsthim.Hishairwaswindblown
backfromhisface,sharpeningthelinesofhischeekbones.
Casteelhadtakenonlyafewstepsintothebanquethall
whenheturnedinourdirection.Hisgazefoundminewithunerringaccuracy.The
spacebetweenusseemedtoshrinkasheheldmystare.Myheartratepickedup,
andmyskinflushed
Ididn’trememberfallingasleepthismorning,butIdid
recallexactlywhatithadfeltlikewithhisarmdrapedovermywaist,his
chestmereinchesfrommyback.Ithadbeenanexperienceandwould’ve
beenperfectifthingswere…different.Ifthingsweredifferent,Iwouldbelooking
forwardtothemanynightsandmorningsthatsurelyawaitedus.Asharpaching
pulserolledthroughme.
Casteel’slipsrose,justacorner.IknewthatifIwere
closer,Iwouldseethedimpleinhisrightcheek.Itwasalmostlikeheknew
wheremythoughtshadgone.Tearingmygazefromhis,somethingoccurredtome.
Casteeldidknow.
FacingKieran,Iaskedinalowvoice,“Canhesomehow
sense…likewhatI’mfeeling?NotlikeIcan,butinanotherway?”
Kierantiltedhisheadtowardmine,darkbrowsfurrowingand
thensmoothingasahintofamusementplayedacrosshislips.
Oh,no.
Itensed,instinctivelyknowingIprobablywasn’tgoingto
liketheanswer.
“Atlantiansoftheelementallinedohaveheightened
physicalsenses,”heexplained.“Theirsightisfarbeyondwhatamortalcould
evenimagine,allowingthemtoseeclearlyevenduringthedarkesthoursofthe
night.”
Ialreadyknewthat.
“Theirsenseoftasteisalsoheightened,aswellastheir
senseofsmell,”hecontinued,hisgringrowing.“Theycanscentaperson’s
uniquescent,andthatcantellalotofthingsaboutsomeoneandtheir
body—whereapersonhasbeen,whattheylastate,orwhothey’vebeencloseto.”
Reliefbegantoseepintome.Allofthatdidn’tsoundtoo
bad—
“Onecouldtell,incertainsituations,ifapersonis
unwellorinjuredortheexactopposite.Like,forexample,ifsomeoneis….”He
paused.“Aroused.”
Andthereitwas,whatIfeared.
Casteelcouldsensearousal?
Heatsweptovereveryinchofmybody,andIknewIhadto
beasredastheleaveswithintheBloodForest.Oh,gods.Thatexplainedhow
heseemedtoknowexactlywhenIwaslyingaboutbeingattractedtohim.Butcould
hesensethatfromadistance?Idoubtedthat.
“Howisthatevenpossible?”
“Eachpersonhasauniquescent.Atcertaintimes,thescent
isstronger.Especiallywhensomeoneisaroused.”
“Iwishyou’dstopsayingthatword,”Imuttered.
“Why?There’snothingtobeashamedof,”heresponded.“It’s
probablyoneofthemostnaturalthingsthereis.”
Naturalornot,Inowknewwhatitfeltliketoknowsomeone
couldbeprivytosuchintimatedealings.Feelingasifthetableshadbeen
turnedonme,Ipickedupmycupandswallowedthesweetjuice.
“Onlythewolvenhavekeenersensesthatallowustotrack
overlongerdistances,”Kieranadded.“Andforlongerperiods.”
Inearlychokedonthejuice.
ThenightintheBloodForestcamebacktomeinvivid,
startlingdetail.KieranhadbeenkeepingguardwhileCasteel…whilehehelped
mesleep.Atthattime,I’dbelievedKieranhadbeentoofarawaytohearor
seeorscentanything.
Ialmostshoutedacursethatwould’veshockedVikterand
thenmadehimlaugh.
“I’mcurious,”Casteelsaid,causingmetojump.Ihadn’t
evenheardhimapproach.“WhatareyoutwodiscussingthathasPoppylookingas
ifshe’sfivesecondsawayfromcrawlingunderthetable?”
“Nothing,”Isaid.
“Iwasjusttellingherabouthowyouhaveheightenedphysical
senses,”KieranansweredatthesametimeasIdid.“Likeyourabilitytosee
betterthanher,andscentherarousal—”
“Oh,mygods!”Ispunonthebench,swingingatKieran,but
heeasilyavoidedmyfist.
“I’msorry.”Kierandidn’tlookremotelyremorseful.“I
meantdesire.Shedoesn’tlikethewordarousal.”
“Careful,Kieran,”Casteelmurmured,catchingmyhandbefore
IcouldswingatKieranoncemore.“She’llbethreateningtostabyounext.”
Thewolvengrinned.“I’mprettysurethat’salreadyhappened.”
“Ihateyou,”Iannounced.“Ihateyouboth.”
Casteelchuckled.“That’salie.”
MygazeshottohisasItuggedonmyhand.“Youcan’tsense
that.”
Hedidn’tletgoofmyhand.“Notthroughanytypeof
heightenedsenses,butIknowyoudon’tnonetheless.”
“Whateveryouthinkyouknowiscompletelywrong.I
absolutelyloatheyourveryexistence.”Iglaredupathim.“Andyoucanletgo
ofmyhand,pleaseandthankyou.”
“Whydoyouthinkyouloathemyveryexistence?”Hiseyes
glimmeredasahintofasmileplayedacrosshislips.“Andeventhoughyou
askedohsonicely,IfearthatifIletgoofyourhand,eitherKieranorI
willbeingravedanger.”
Kierannodded.
“Cowards,”Ihissed.
“Also,Ilikeholdingyourhand,”Casteelsaid,suckinghis
lowerlipbetweenhisteeth—betweenhisfangs
“Idon’tcarewhatyoulike.AndIalsocan’tbelieveyou’re
seriouslyaskingwhyIwouldloatheyou.Doyouhavememoryproblems?”
“IthinkIhaveaveryimpressivememory.Don’tyouthink
so,Kieran?”
“Thereisverylittleyouforget,”thewolvenanswered.
Steamhadtobebillowingoutofmyears.“Besidesthefact
thatyou’veliedtome,kidnappedme,andplannedtoransomme,youkeptme
lockedinaroomallday.HowisthatanybetterthanwhattheAscendeddidto
memyentirelife?”
Thewarmthandamusementvanishedundertheicedrenching
Casteel’sgaze.“Becausethistime,itisforyoursafety.”
Ilaughedharshly.“Isn’tthatwhattheyalsoclaimed?”
Amuscletickedinhisjaw.“Thedifferenceisthattheywere
lyingtoyou,andI’mnot.”
“Therearethosewhowouldriskdeathtoseekrevenge
againsttheAscended,”Kieranadded.“He’stryingtoprotectyou.”
“Forwhat?”Ishoteachofthemawitheringstare.“SoI
stayalivelongenoughforhimtotrademe?”
Casteelarchedabrowbutsaidnothing.
Angerandembarrassmentwasadangerousmix.Iwasfurious
overbeinglockedupalldayandembarrassedbytheknowledgethatbothof
thesemenknewhowIrespondedtoCasteel—howeasilymybodysangforhim.
“You’renobetterthantheAscended.”
Casteeldidn’tmove.
Kierandidn’tspeak.
Silencestretchedoutsolongbetweenusthatunease
blossomed,sendingmyheartpounding.Ishouldn’thavesaidthat.Iknewthat
themomentitleftmymouth,butIcouldn’ttakeitback.
“Ineedtoshowyousomething,”Casteelbitout,allbut
liftingmeoffthebench.Hestartedwalking,tuggingmealongbehindhim,his
griponmyhandfirmbutnotpainful.
Istruggledtokeepupwithhislong-leggedpaceashe
crossedthebanquethall.“ThereisnothingyoucanshowmethatIwantto
see.”
“Youwon’twanttoseethis.Noonedoes.Butyouneed
toseeit.”
Confusedbythatstatement,Ilookedovermyshouldertosee
Kieranleaningback,armsrestingonthetable,hislonglegsstretchedoutin
frontofhim.Hewavedatme.
IdidsomethingthatIanhadoncetaughtme,somethingthat
I’dseentheguardsdotooneanother—sometimesinhumorandothertimesin
anger.Itwasconsideredafoulgesture,andI’dneverdoneitinmylife.
IgaveKieranthemiddlefinger.
Throwinghisheadback,thewolvenlaughedloudlyand
deeply.
Casteelglancedbackatme,browsraisedashiseyesflicked
toKieran.“DoIevenwanttoknowwhatyoujustdid?”
“It’snoneofyourbusiness,”Igrumbled,cheeksfeeling
hot.
“You’reinalovelymoodtoday.”
“I’mbeginningtodoubtyourcomprehensionskills.You’ve
keptme—”
“Lockedawayinaroomallday.Iknow,”heinterruptedas
wewalkedthroughtheemptyhall.“Iwould’vepreferrednotto.Believeitor
not,theideaofkeepingyouconfinedissomethingIfinddistasteful.”
Iwantedtobelievehim.Ireallydid,butIwasn’tthat
na?ve.“Thenyoucansimplynotdoit.”
Hecoughedoutadrylaugh.“Andriskyourunningoffagain,
unpreparedandunprotected?Ithinknot.”
“I’mnotgoingtotrytorunaway—”
Casteellaughedagain,thistimeasdeeplyasKieranhad.I
figuredtherewasagoodchanceImightexplodeasweenteredthecommonarea.People
lingeredinthespace,andIhadnoideawhattheythoughtwhentheysaw
CasteelandIwalkpastthem.Iimaginedoneorbothofuslookedasifwewere
chargingofftodobattle.
Upahead,oneofthemenbythedooropeneditforus,andI
hadnoideawhereweweregoingasCasteelledmeoutside.Regardless,Iwas
gladhewasn’ttakingmebacktotheroom.I’ddefinitelyloseitthen.
Thesnowwascomingdowninalight,slowflurry,having
easedoffabitfrombefore.Wetrudgedthroughseveralinchesonthegroundas
wecrossedtheyard.
“Whyarewegoingintothewoods?”Iasked,wonderingifI
shouldbeconcerned,eventhoughIknewIwasnogoodtohimdead.
“Wearen’tgoingveryfar.”HavingsloweddownsoIcouldwalk
athisside,heglancedoveratme.“Areyoucold?”
Ishookmyhead.
“Wewon’tbeouthereforverylong,”hesaid.
Iliftedahandaswe
walked,momentarilydistractedbythesnow.Iwatcheditfallandmeltagainst
myskin.Afteramoment,IbecameawareofCasteel’sintensegazeonme.
Closingmyhand,Iloweredittomyside.
“ItsnowedinMasadonia,didn’tit?”heaskedquietlyaswe
reachedtheedgeoftheforest.“Wereyoueverabletoenjoyit?”
“Itwould’vebeenunseemlyforaMaidentoberompingaround
inthesnow.”Ifrownedaswesteppedunderthetrees.Snowdustedlargeareas
oftheforestflooranddriftedinhigherpileswheretherewerebreaksinthe
trees.“ButafewtimeswhenIwasabletosneakoutatnightIsawit,butit
wasn’toften.AcoupleoftimeswithIan.OncewithTawny.”
Tawny
MyhearthurtasIthoughtofher,almostwishingIhadn’t.
Gods,Imissedher.Shewastheseconddaughterofasuccessfulmerchant,given
totheRoyalCourtattheageofthirteenduringtheRite.Shehadbeentaskedto
beacompanionofsortstome,butshehadbecomefarmorethanthat.Ioften
worriedthatourfriendshipwasnothingmorethanatask,adutytoher.ButI
knewbetternow.Shegenuinelycaredforme.
“Everyoneseemedtogooutsideinthesnow,”Icontinued.
“So,goingoutwithoutbeingseenwasn’talwaysfeasible.”
“That’sashame.Therearefewthingsmorepeacefulthan
beingoutinthesnow.”Casteel’sstepsslowed,andthenhestopped,lettinggo
ofmyhand.
Palmstilltinglyfromthecontact,Icrossedmyarmsover
mychestashebent.“DoesitsnowinAtlantia?”
“Inthemountains,yes.”Heliftedaheavybranchandthen
sweptthefinelayerofsnowoffwhatappearedtobeawoodendoorinthe
ground.“MybrotherandIwouldsneakoffquiteabittogointothemountains
whenweknewitwassnowing.Kieranwouldoftencomewithus,aswould…others
sometimes.”Hetuggedonanironhook,pullingadoorup.“Icanmakeamean
snowball.”
Istaredatadimlylithole.Stoneandearthenstepstook
formoutoftheshadows.“Iantaughtmehowtomakesnowballs,butIhaven’t
thrownoneinyears.”
Helookedupatme,aslightsmileonhislips.“Ibet
you’rethetypewhopacksthesnowsotightthatitleavesweltsbehindwhenit
hitssomeone.”
MylipstwitchedasIlookedaway,thinkingthemaskofthe
Princehadcrackedalittlejustthere,showingapeekofeitherCasteeloryet
anothermask.
“Knewit,”hemurmuredandthenclearedhisthroat.“Iran
intoAlastirbeforeIcameintothebanquethall.Hetoldmehespokewith
you.”
“Wedid.Briefly.”Iglancedathim.“Kieranwasthere.”
“Iknow.”Hewatchedme.“WhatdoyouthinkofAlastir?”
Ithoughtaboutthatforamoment.“Heseemsnice,butit’s
notlikeIknowhim.”Iliftedmygazetohis.“Kieransaidyouareclosewith
him.”
“I’veknownhimmyentirelife.He’slikeasecondfatherto
Malikandme.ToevenKieran.WhenIwantedtodosomethingandmymothersaid
no,andmyfatherwouldaskwhatmymothersaid,”—afaintgrinappeared—“which
wasusuallyno,obviously,IthenwenttoAlastir.”
“Andwhatdidhesay?”
“Usually,yes.Andifitwassomethingrecklessorifhe
thoughtImightfindmyselfintrouble,hefollowed,”hesaid.“Alastirfound
youvery…unexpected.”
“IthoughtyouwarnedhimabouthowoutspokenIcouldbe.”
“Apparently,notwellenough.”
Itookadeepbreath.“AmIstillinjeopardywithhim?”
“Hopefully,notformuchlonger.”Casteelturnedtothe
earthensteps.Anotherlongmomentpassed.“Iknowyouhatebeingkeptina
room,secluded.Ididn’tmeantoleaveyouinthereforthatlong.”
SayingnoneofwhatIwantedto,Istaredathisshoulder.
“IhadtospeakwithMrs.Tulisaboutherhusband,”hecontinued,
voicesoft.“Aboutwhywhathappenedhadto.”
Mouthsuddenlydry,Iliftedmygazetohis.
“Shewasupset.Unsurprisingly.Shecouldn’tbelievethat
he’dtakenpartinwhathedid.Idon’tthinksheevenbelievedme.”Hetipped
hisheadback,squintingatthesnowasitdriftedthroughthetrees.“Ican’t
evenblameherfordoubtingwhatIsaid.Howoftenhadshebeenliedtobythe
Ascended?SpeakingwithhertooklongerthanIanticipated.”
Asmidgeonofguiltblossomed.“How…?Issheokaynow?”I
asked,wincing.Ofcourse,shewasn’tokay.Herhusbandwasdead.
“IgavehertheoptiontostaywiththepeopleofNewHaven,
promisingherthatnoharmwouldcometoheror,ifshewished,ItoldherI
wouldprovidehersafepassagetoanothertown.”Heloweredhischin.“Sheis
toletmeknow.”
“Ihopeshechoosestostay,”Iwhispered.
“AsdoI.”Heexhaledroughly.“Canyouseethesteps?”When
Inodded,hesaid,“I’llfollowyoudown.”
Ihesitatedandswallowedthickly.Iwasn’tafraidofthe
darkortunnels,but…“I’veneverbeenundergroundbefore.”
“It’salotlikebeingaboveground.”
Isenthimadrylook.“Really?”
Hechuckledthen,andthesoundwassoftandreal.“Okay.
It’snothinglikebeingaboveground,butwe’llonlybeinanarrowtunnelfora
veryshortdistanceandthenyou’llforgetyou’reunderground.”
“Idon’tknowaboutthat.”
“Youwill,”hesaid,histonequietandheavy.
Myeyesmethisforamoment,andthenIexhaled,nodding.I
hadnoideawhatweweredoing,butIwascurious.Iwasalwayscurious.
Carefully,Imademywaydownthesteps,placingmyhandsonthedamp,cool
walls.OnceIreachedthebottom,ItriednottothinkabouthowIwas
underground.Itookacoupleofcautiousstepsforward.Littorchesspaced
severalfeetapartcastlightuponthestoneanddirtfloorandthelow
ceiling,continuingforasfarasIcouldsee.Itwasn’tascoldasIthoughtit
wouldbe.
Thedoorclickedshut,andthenCasteellandedbehindme.I
turned,wonderingifhe’djumped,butheturnedtofaceme.Suddenly,wewere
chesttochest.Underthescentofrichsoil,therewasthehintofhim.Of
pineandspice.Hiseyesmetmine,andIquicklylookedaway,unsettled
by…everything.
“Whatisthis?”Iasked,hopingmyvoicesoundedsteadier
thanitfelt.
“Itisdifferentthingstodifferentpeople.”Casteel
steppedaroundme,hisshoulderandhipbrushingmine.Iknewtheshiverhad
nothingtodowiththesurroundings.
Hishandcurvedaroundmineoncemore,andthesparkofhis
skintouchingminetraveledupmyarm.“Tosomepeople,thisisaplaceof
reflection,”hesaidashebeganwalking,andIwonderedifhefeltthatcharge
ofenergy.Wecontinueddownthetunnel.“Forsome,itisaplacetobear
witnesstowhatmanystrivetoforget.”
Theshadowsaheaddisappearedasthetunnelcametoanend.
Severalfeetofstairsleddownintoaspacethatopenedintowhatappearedto
besomesortofcircularchamberwithhighceilingsand…deargods,ithadtobe
thelengthofthekeepitself.Dozensanddozensoftorchesjuttedoutfromthe
stone,castinglightacrossthechamber’swalls.Onlythecenterwasin
shadows.Withinthatgloom,thereappearedtobeseveralbenches.
“Toothers,thisissimplyatomb.Hallowedground.”Casteel
letgoofmyhand.“OneofthefewplacesinallofSoliswherethosewhohave
lostfamilymemberstotheAscendedcanmourn.”
IwasmovingbeforeIknewit,walkingdownthestairsand
thenontothechamber’sfloor.Pedestalsweresituatedeverycoupleoffeet,
anduponthemrestedslenderchiselsandhammers.Iwenttotheright,mygaze
crawlingoverthewall—overwhatwasetchedintothestone.Therewerewords.
Names.Ages.Somewithepithets.Otherswithnone.AsIdrewcloser,Isaw
sketchescarvedintothestone.Portraitsrenderedbycapable,artistichands.A
shudderingbreathleftmeasIfollowedthecurveofthewall.Thenames…there
weresomanyofthem.Theyflowedoverthesurface,fromfloortoceiling,but
thedateswerewhatformedaknotinmychest,eachmarkingthebirthandthen
thedeath.Therealizationthatmanysharedthesamedeathdatesmovedtheknot
tomythroat,andtherecognitionofthosedatescausedthecarvingsinthewall
toblur.
Quiteafewofthedeathdatesweresporadic,someseveral
hundredyearsago.Whileotherswereonlyadecadeorfiveyearsago,orlast
year,or…oracoupleofmonthsago.Butmanyothershaddatesthatlinedup
withtheRitesofthepast.
Andtheages…
Myhandclutchedatmychest.Twoyearsofage.Sevenmonths
ofage.Fouryearsandsixmonthsofage.Tenyearsofage.Andonandon.
Thereweresomany.Thousands.Thousandsandthousandsofchildren.
Babies.
“They…theyarefromtheRites,”Ibrokethesilence,my
voicethickandhoarse.
“Manyare,butothersareDescenterswhowerekilled,”he
answeredfromsomewherebehindme.“SomediedofwhattheAscendedcalla
wastingdisease,butintruth,itwasduetouncontrolledfeedings.”
MyeyessqueezedshutasMr.andMrs.Tulisappearedinmy
mind’seye.Theyhadlosttwochildrenthatway.Two.
“Andsomeofthenames,theonesyou’llnoticehavenoend
dates?”Hewasclosernow.“Theyrepresentthosewho’vedisappeared,presumed
tohavebecomeCravenoraredead.”
Openingmyeyes,Iblinkedbacktears.Isteppedcloser,
reachingouttotracethegroovesthatformedcheeksandeyes,butstopped
short.Below,setagainstthewall,wereold,driedflowers.Somefreshones.
Piecesofjewelrythatglimmeredfaintlyinthefirelight.Anecklace.A
bracelet.Aring.Twoweddingbandslaidtooverlaponeanother.Myhandshook
asIdrewitbacktomychest.Istoppedinfrontofastuffedanimal.Anold
bearwithapaleribbonasacrown.Mythroatburned.
“Theseareonlyasmallfractionofthelivestakenbythe
Ascended.Therearelargechamberswithnotasinglespaceleftforevenone
morename.Andtheseareonlythenamesofthemortalswhoweretaken.”Each
wordbitterlyclipped.“InAtlantia,wallsthattravelasfarastheeyecan
seecarrythenamesofourfallen.”
Swallowinghard,Ispreadmyfingersovermycheeks,
brushingawaydampnessasIstaredatthebear.
“Iamnotwithoutsin.I’msurethatI’vecausednamestobe
carvedintodifferentwalls,butIamnotthem.”Hisvoicewasquietinthe
chamber,andyetitsomehowstillechoed.“Wearenotthem.Andall
thatIaskisthatthenexttimeyouthinkIamnobetterthananAscended,you
thinkofthenamesonthesewalls.”
ThewordsIknowyou’renotlikethemrosetothe
tipofmytongue,butIcouldn’tspeak.Iwasbarelyholdingittogether.
“IcanpromiseyouthatthevastmajorityofthoseI’ve
killed,who’veendedintombsoronwalls,deservedit.Idon’tloseasingle
momentofrestthinkingofthem.Buttheoneswhowereinnocent?”Casteelspoke
again,hisvoicelowandassharpasthechiselsthatawaitedfingersshaking
withgrief.“Theonescaughtinthemiddleorwhodiedby
“Stop,”Irasped,unabletomoveforwhatfeltlikeasmall
eternity.
Casteelquieted,andIdidn’tknowifitwasbecausehe’d
saidallthatheneededtoorifitwasasmallgiftthathewasbestowingupon
me.
MylipstrembledwhenIwasfinallyabletomoveagain.Iwalked
on,discoveringfresherflowers,newerdates,andmorecommonnames—andfartoo
manytoo-shortdateranges,andonesleftopen-ended.
Idon’tknowhowlongwestayedinthere,butIfeltlikeI
neededtowalkeveryfootofthechamber,seeeverynamethatIcouldread,
commitasmanytomemoryaspossible,andbearwitnessjustasothershadto
thehorrificandpainfullossoflife.
Casteelhadbeen
rightwhenhesaidthatthiswassomethingnoonewantedtosee.Ididn’t,but
Ineededtoseethis.Noonecouldfakethis.Theyjustcouldn’t.
Slowly,Iturnedaround.
Hestoodbytheentrance.“Youready?”
FeelingasifI’djustbattledalegionofCraven,Inodded.
“Good.”HewaiteduntilIjoinedhimbeforeheclimbedthe
stairs.Neitherofusspokeuntilweemergedtodiscoverthatdayhadlong
sincegivenwaytonight.
Iwatchedhimclosethedoorandmovethelimboverit.“Why
didyouremovethebodiesfromthehall?”Iasked.
Heremainedkneeling.“Doesitmatter?”
“Yes,”Iwhispered.
Liftinghishead,hestaredoutoverthemoonlight-drenched
snow.“Ididn’tliewhenItoldyouthatIhadhelpedthosecursedbyaCraven
diewithdignity.Idid.BecauseIbelievethereshouldbedignityindeath,
evenforthoseIloathe.I’dforgottenthatinmyangerandinmy—”Hecut
himselfoffandthenlookedupatme.“YouremindedmethatasHawke,I
believedinthat.”
AsHawke.
“Thankyou,”Isaidhoarsely.Iwasn’tsureifIwas
thankinghimforrememberingorforshowingmewhatIneverwantedtoseebut
neededto.
Hisheadtiltedashestaredupatme,andthenherose.
“Come,”hesaidquietly.“Wehavealottodiscussbeforeitgetstoolate.”
Hisproposalthatwasn’taproposal.
Ourfuturethatreallywasn’tone.
Isaidnothingthoughaswewalkedbacktowardthekeep,nor
didIresistwhenhetookholdofmyhandoncemore.Ihadnoideawhyhedid
it.IdoubtedhefearedI’drun.Maybehesimplylikedholdingmyhand.
Ilikedmyhandbeingheld.
ThelasttodoitsooftenwasIan,andthathadonlybeen
whennoonewasaround.Butthatfeltnothinglikethis.
MaybeIlikeditsomuchbecausemymindwasstillinthat
chamber—no,thatcryptwithnobodies,amongallthosepeoplewhowould
neverholdhandsagain.Perhapsitwasbecausemymindwasstillinthemoment
whereCasteelrememberedapartofhimthatwasHawke.
Wedidn’tspeaktheentirewalkbacktothekeeporupto
theroom.Onceinside,heledmeovertothehearth.Istoodbyit,lettingthe
firewarmmychilledskin.
“Willweleavetomorrow?”Iasked,breakingthesilence.
“Thestormisweakening,butitwillhavetoclearalittle
fromtheroads.”Flakesofsnowmeltedanddisappearedinthedarkstrandsof
hishairashelookedtotherattlingwindow.“Thewindshouldhelpwith
that…andpossiblyblowdownthiskeepifitkeepsuplikethisforanother
night.”
Ilaughedoutloud,thinkingofthetaleIanhadoncetold
mehe’dheard.Casteelturnedtostare.“Sorry,”Isaid.“Iwasjustthinking
aboutthisstoryIanonceheard.Aboutawolfblowingdownthehomesofpigs.
Forsomereason,Ithoughtofawolvendoingthat.”
“Youdon’tneedtoapologize,”hesaid.“You’rebeautiful
whenyou’requietandsomber,butwhenyoulaugh?Yourivalthesunriseover
theSkotosMountains.”
Hesoundedsogenuine,asifhetrulymeantthat,andI
couldn’tunderstandit.“Whydoyousaythingslikethat?”
Hisgazesearchedmine.“Becauseit’sthetruth.”
“Thetruth?”Ilaughed,steppingbackfromthefire.The
burnwasbackinmythroat,threateningtooverwhelmme.“Willyouaddmyname
tothewallsonceyouhandmeover?I’llbedeadeventually.That’sthetruth.
So,don’tsaythingslikethat.”
“Butit’snotthetruth.Notatall,”hesaid,hisgaze
catchingandholdingmine.“It’swhywemustmarry.”
“Whyareyousoadamantaboutthemarriage?”Idemanded.“It
makesnosense.”
“Butitdoes.It’stheonlywayIcangetwhatIwant,and
ensureyoustayalive.Hopefullysoyoucanlivealong,freelife.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter10
“What?”Irepeated,thistimebarelyaboveawhisper.Livea
longlife?Free?Howwasthatpossibleifhegotwhathewanted—hisbrother’s
freedominexchangeformycaptivity?
“Willyouletmetrytomakesenseofitforyou?I’mnot
askingyoutotrustme.”
“Trustingyouisnotsomethingyouhavetoworryabout.”
Heleanedback,thelineofhisjawhardening.“NeitheramI
askingforyourforgiveness,Penellaphe.”
Theuseofmyformalnamewasjarring,sendingmyheart
racingasitsilencedallthebitterwordsrushingtothetipofmytongue.
“IknowwhatI’vedonetoyouisnotsomethingthatcanbe
forgotten,”hecontinued.“AllI’maskingisthatyoulistentowhatIhaveto
say.And,hopefully,wewillcometoanagreement.”
Iforcedmyselftonod.Myneedtounderstandwhathewas
suggestingfaroutweighedmydesiretoarguewithhim.“I…Iwilllisten.”
Therewasaslightwideningofhiseyesasifheexpectedme
torefuse,andthenhisbrowsmoothed.“RememberwhenIlefttospeakwithmy
father?Ofcourse,youdo,”headdedafteramoment.“ThatwaswhenJericho
wentafteryou.”Thelineofhisjawtightened.“Myfatherhadn’tbeenableto
show,sendingAlastirinhisplace.Therehadbeenissuesathomethathehad
toattendto.”
“Issueswiththewolvenandrunningoutofland?”Isurmised.
Henodded.“Notnow,butsoon,withthescarcityofthe
land,wewillhavealackoffoodandotherresources.”
Asmallpartofmewassurprisedthathehadansweredthe
question.“WhenAlastirspoketoKieran,itsoundedlikethepeopleofNewHaven
wouldbeleavingforAtlantiasoon.”
“Theywillbe.”
“Becauseyoutookme,andtheAscendedwillcomehere,
lookingforme.”
Hisgazemetmine.“Therewereplanstomovethemto
AtlantiabeforeItookyou.Myactionsmoveupthattimeframe,butthelackof
landwouldn’thavebeenresolvedbeforethen.”
Ithoughtthatover.“So,theresourcesareabouttobe
stretchedevenfurther.”
“Theywillbe,butwe’renotatthebreakingpoint.Not
yet,”hesaid.“Somewantamoreaggressivestanceonalleviatingour
shortages.Manyofthewolvenareamongthatgroup,asmanyAtlantiansare.Some
oftheconversationssurroundingwhatshouldbedonehavegrownheated,andthat
iswhymyfatherhadtoremainbehind.”
Casteelrosethen,walkingtoasmalltableunderthe
window.Hepickedupaglassdecanterfullofsomekindofamber-coloredliquid
thatIsuspectedwasliquor.“Wouldyoulikeadrink?IfIrecall,youlikedto
sneakawhiskeyortwowithTawny.”
Tawny
Iwantedtoseehersobadly,toknowforsurethatshewas
okay.Butifshehadbeenhere…
Ibrieflyclosedmyeyes,hopingTawnywassafe.Morethan
ever,Iwasgratefulthatshewasn’there.Shecould’vebecomeanissuedealt
withinthesamewayPhillipsandtheotherguardshadbeen.
Drawinginadeepbreath,Iopenedmyeyesandasked,“Would
youhavekilledher?Tawny?Ifshehadtraveledwithme,wouldyouhavekilled
her?”
Casteelpausedashereachedforaglassandthengripped
it,pouringthewhiskeyuntiltheglasswashalffull.“Idon’tmakeahabitof
killinginnocentwomen.”Hepouredasecondglass.“Iwould’vedoneallthatI
couldtoensurethatitwouldnothavebeennecessary,butherpresence
could’vecausedacomplicationthatIwouldn’twishtosolve.”
Meaningthat,ifhehadto,hewouldhave.However,hehad
ensuredthatthesituationhadn’tarisenbyforbiddingTawnytotravelwithme.
Ididn’tknowhowtofeelaboutthat.Whatwasrightorwrongthere?Noneof
thismeantthatTawnywasentirelysafe,though.ShewasdestinedtoAscend.
ButwouldheroranyoftheLordsandLadiesinWaitAscend
nowthatIwasmissing?AlltheAscensionsinthekingdomweretiedtomine.
TheystillhadCasteel’sbrother,andtheyhadtohaveanotherAtlantianto
keepthePrincealive.Withoutme,theycouldproceedwiththeAscension,
unless…
UnlesssomethinghadhappenedtoPrinceMalik?Iswallowed
hardasIshovedthatquestionaside.Itwoulddonogoodtoasksuchathing,
andIdoubtedCasteelhadn’talreadyconsideredthat.
Hewalkedtheglassofwhiskeyovertome,andItookit
eventhoughIhadn’taskedforit.Hemovedtostandinfrontofthefireplace.
Slidingmythumbalongthecoolglass,Iliftedittomy
lipsandtookasmallsip.Theliquorburnedthebackofmythroat,butthe
seconddrinkwasfarsmoother.Istillhadtoclearmythroat,though.Tawnyand
Iwouldsneakdrinks,andIhadhelpedmyselftoasiporfiveeveryonceinawhile,
butnotnearlyenoughformetobeusedtoit.“Whatdotheissuesyourpeople
arefacinghavetodowiththewholemarriagething?”
“That’swhatI’mgettingto.”Heturnedtowardme,propping
oneelbowagainstthemantel.“Butfirst,mypeoplewillobeymetotheir
deaths,bothAtlantianandwolven.”Heswirledtheliquidaroundinhisglass.
“IhopebetweenthatandtheactionsItooktoremindthemthatyouarenotto
beharmed,itwillgoalongwayinaidingtheminmakingsmartlifechoices.
However,thesearenotnormalcircumstances.Youarenotanormal
circumstance.”
“ButIhavedonenothingtoyourpeople.Ieventriedto
saveone.”
“ManyDescentershavedonenothingtoyou,butyouonce
viewedthemallasevilandmurderous,”hereturned.“Youoncebelievedthat
allAtlantianswerenothingmorethanmonsters,andyetanAtlantianhadnever
harmedyou.”
Iopenedmymouth.
“Itisthesame,isitnot?TheDescentersandIrepresent
deathanddestruction,althoughmanyofthemhavedonenothingmorethanspeak
thetruth.”Hisgazedriftedtothesoftlyrollingflames.“Yourepresentadynasty
thathassubjugatedanddecimatedtheirfamilies,stolenfromthemthelivesof
theonestheylove,theirgods,andeventheirrightfulheir.Youdidnoneof
thosethings,yetthatiswhattheyseewhentheylookuponyou.Theyseethe
opportunitytotaketheirpoundofflesh.”
Hiswordssatlikestonesinmyliquor-warmedbelly,andIcouldn’t
stopmyselffromsaying,“I’msorry.”
“Forwhat?”Hisbrowsfurrowed.
WheezingfromthehugegulpofthewhiskeyIswallowed,I
blinkedrapidly.“Forwhatwasdonetoyourpeople,”Itoldhim,myvoice
hoarse.“Toyourfamily.Toyou.IknowIsaidthatlastnight,andyoudidn’t
wantmyapologies,butIneedtosayitagain.”
Casteelstaredatme.“Ithinkyou’vedrunkenoughwhiskey.”
Hepaused.“Ormaybeyoushouldhavemore.”
Isnorted.Likealittlepiglet.“Whatyou’vedonedoesn’tmean
Ican’tstillfeelcompassion.”Istartedtotakeanotherdrinkbutthoughttwice.
Whateverkindofwhiskeythiswas,itseemedtohaveafarquickereffectthan
anythingI’dhadbefore.“Whatyou’vedonedoesn’tmeanIsuddenlydon’tknow
orcareaboutwhatisrightandwrong.Whatwasdonetoyourpeopleis
horrible.”Mygazedroppedtothegoldenliquidinmyglass,thinkingofall
thosenamesonthewalls.Whoknewhowmanywereneverlisted?“And…andwhatis
beingdonetothepeopleofSolisbytheAscendedishorrible.Itisall
terrible.”
“Thatitis,”hesaidquietly.
“IguessIgetwhytheyhateme.”IthoughtofMr.Tulisand
tookalargerdrink.“Iwishtheydidn’t.”
“AsdoI.Whichisoneofthereasonswhywemustmarry.”
MygazeflewtohisasIalmostchoked.“That’sthepartI
don’tunderstand.Howyou’vecometothatconclusionorwhy.Howwillthatget
yourbrotherback?Howwillthathelpwithlimitedresources?HowwillI
be…free?”
Therewasasharpnesstohisgazethen.“There’sachance
thatsomemaystilldisobeymycommands.Retributioncanbeastrongmotivator.
I,myself,loveandenjoythetasteofrevenge,asIknowyoudo.”
Istartedtodenythat,buthe’dbeentherewhenIturnedon
LordMazeen.Hewouldknowthatmydenialwouldbealie
“Imustreturnhometohelpeasetheconcernsoftheothers,
whereyouwillbesurroundedbymanywhobelievethatanyonefromtheKingdom
ofSolisisthelamaeaintheflesh.”
“Lamaea?”
“It’sacreaturewithfinsforlegsandtailsforarmsthat
hidesunderthebedsofchildren,waitinguntilthelightsareturnedoff.In
thedark,itmakesitswayoutfromunderthebedtothensuckthelifefrom
them.”
“Oh.”Mylipcurled.
“It’snotreal.OratleastI’veneverseenone,butasa
smallchild,bothmybrotherandIfoughttokeepthelightsonatnight,”he
said,andIcouldseehimasaprecociouschild,hidingunderablanketwith
wide,goldeneyes.
Mygazesnaggedonhowthemusclesofhisarmcurledashe
liftedtheglassofwhiskeytohislips.
Well,Icouldalmostseehimassuch.
“Wait,”Isaid,confused.“Howdoesitgetoutfromunder
thebedifithasfinsforlegsandtailsforarms?”
Hislipstwitched.“Ibelievemymotheroncesaiditwiggled
andslid,likeasnake.”
“That’sextremelydisturbing.”MynosewrinkledasIglanced
atthedecanterofwhiskey,wonderingifIshouldhaveanotherglass.“Ialso
don’tunderstandthetailsforarmspart.”
“Noonedoes.”Helookedaway,dippinghischinashedragged
hisfangsoverhislowerlip.Mygaze—myentirebeing—seemedtobesnaggedon
thatact.Asubtleshiverdancedovermyskin,andagain.
“ThepointI’mtryingtomakeisthateventhoughIhaveordered
thatnooneistoharmyou,youmaystillbeindanger,”heexplained.“Forsome,
theideaofrevengeisfargreaterthanthefearofcertaindeath.”
Ittookmeabittopullmythoughtsawayfromthislamaea
creatureandtheglimpseofhisfangsbeforeIcouldfocusonthepointofthis
conversation.“Andyoubelievethatmarryingmewillremovemefromdanger?”
“MakingsurethatpeopleknowyouarepartAtlantianand
willbecomemywifeshouldmakeyouoff-limits.Especiallytothosewho
stillhavesomefearofdeathandactualcommonsense.”Hetookadrink.“You
willnolongerbetheMaidenintheireyes.Youwillbemyfiancée.Intheir
minds,youwillbecometheirPrincess.”
Imulledoverwhathewassaying,andIdidn’tknowifit
waswearinesstuggingatmeortheliquordullingmyemotions,butIwasable
toprocesswhathewastellingmewithoutthrowingmyglassathim.
WhichIwassureheappreciated.
Andprobablywhyheofferedthedrinkinthefirstplace.
“Whatareyouthinking?”heasked.
“IfIshouldhaveanotherglassofwhiskey.”
“Youcanhavewhateveryouwant.”
WhateverIwanted?Ilookedathim,andthewealthofwant
risinginsideofmetoldmethatanotherglassofwhiskeywouldn’tbewise.
Leaningover,Iplacedtheemptytumbleronthetable.
“You’remarryingmeto…protectme.Isthatwhatyou’resaying?”
“Yes,andno.”
Whiletherewaswarmthinmystomach,mychestfelt
ice-cold.“Whatdoesthatmean?”
“Itmeansthatmarriagewillprovideyouwithsafety,andit
willalsoprovidemewithwhatIwantandwhatmykingdomneeds.”
“Howwillmarryingmesecureyourbrother’sreleaseorgive
yourkingdomwhatitneeds?”
Hetookanotherdrink.“Whatdoyouthinkthosewhorule
overSolisvaluemore?Theabilitytocreatemorevamprysortoremainliving?”
Ijerkedmyheadbackatthequestion.“Iwouldhopethelatter.”
“Iwouldhopeso,too,”heagreed,andamomentpassed.“My
fatherbelievesthatMalikiseitherdeadorbeyondsaving.”
Isuckedinasharpbreath.“Hedoes?”WhenCasteelnodded,
Ididn’tknowwhattosay.“That…thatisterriblysad.”
Thelineofhisjawtightened.“It’stherealityofthe
situation,andIcannotblamehimforit,butIdon’tbelievethatMalikis
lost.Irefusetobelieveit,”hestatedadamantly,andIhopedfor
hissakethathewasright.“ManyAtlantianswantretribution.Notjustforwhat
theAscendedhavedonetotheirPrince,butforthecountlesslivestheyhave
taken,andthelandandfuturetheystolefromus.Myfatherisquickly
becomingoneofthosewhowantsretribution.Andthethingis,Poppy,wecan
takeourrevenge.Atlantiarosefrombloodandash.Wearenolongerafallen
kingdom.Notbyanysenseoftheword.Wehaven’tbeenforaverylongtime.We
areakingdomoffire.”
Thetinyhairsallovermybodyrose.
“Wemayhaveretreatedafterthewar,butwedidsoforthe
sakeofourpeopleandthelivesofthemortalscaughtbetweenus,butthatdid
notmeanwesuffered.Thatwehavebecomelessthanthekingdomweoncewere.
Inthetimesincethewar,we’verebuiltournumbers,andwe’vestretchedfar
andwidefromAtlantia,entrenchingourselvesineverycitywithinSolis,
openingtheeyesofthosewhoarereadytoseethetruth.”
MyheartratepickedupasIwatchedhimlifttheglassto
hislipsoncemore.“Manyhavespentthelastfourhundredyearspreparingto
takebackthekingdoms,”Casteelsaid,andImight’vestoppedbreathingthen.
“TheywanttomakewarwithSolis,andiftheysucceedinconvincingmyfather,
countlesspeoplewilldie.Atlantians.Wolven.Mortals.Thelandwillonce
againbesoakedwithblood.Butthistime,therewillbenoretreat.Ifmy
fatherisconvincedtomakewar,Atlantiawillnotfall.Wewillnotstopuntil
alltheAscended,andthosewhosupportthem,arenothingbutash.”
“And…youdon’twantthis?Totakebackthekingdomandend
theAscended?”Icouldunderstandifhedid,butIcouldn’tstopthinkingabout
IanandTawny,andalltheinnocentpeoplewhowouldbetrampledinthe
process.
Heeyedmeovertherimofhisglass.“Sometimes,bloodshed
istheonlyoption.Ifitcomestothat,Iwillnothesitatetopickupmy
sword,butmybrotherwillbeoneofthecasualties.Thereisnowayhewillbe
keptaliveifwegotowaragainstthem.Ineedtofreehimbeforethathappens.”
“Andyouthinkyourpeoplewillnotwanttogotowarifhe’s
returnedtoyou?”Iasked.
“It’snotonlyabouthim,butifIamsuccessful,Ibelieve
so.Ifnot,attheveryleast,itmaygivemortalstimetoprepare.Toeither
choosetheirsideorescapeasfarastheycantowaititout.I’drathernot
subjectthislandtoanotherseveral-hundred-yearwar.”
Hecaredaboutthemortals?Eventheoneswhodidn’tsupport
Atlantia?ThatsoundedliketheHawkeIknew,butnottheonewhoearnedthe
nametheDarkOne.Unsettled,Ismoothedmyhandsoverthehemofmytunic.
“Howwillmarryingmeaccomplishanyofthis?I’mjusttheMaiden—andyouandI
bothknowthatmeansnothing.Thegodsdidnotchooseme—”
“ButthepeopleofSolisdon’tknowthat,”hecountered.“To
them,youaretheMaiden.YouwereChosenbythegods.Justlikeyou
arethefigureheadoftheAscendedtoAtlantia,youareasymbolofthemtothe
peopleofSolis.”Ahalf-grinformed.“AndyouaretheQueen’sfavorite.”
Ishookmyhead.“Allofthatmaybetrue,butIdon’tsee
howthataccomplishesanything.”
“Youdon’tgiveyourselfenoughcredit,Princess.You’re
incrediblyimportanttothekingdom,tothepeople,butevenmoreso,tothe
Ascended.Youarethegluethatholdsalltheirliestogether.”
Istiffened.
“ImaginewhatwillhappenwhenthepeopleofSolislearnof
you,theChosenMaiden,marryinganAtlantianPrinceandnotturningintoa
Craven?Notevenafterawickedkiss?”Hegrinnedatme,onedimpleappearing.
Myeyesnarrowed.“Thatalonewillopenmanyeyes.Andthroughourunion,we
wouldbeabletogentlyintroducethemortalstoaworldwheretheAtlantian
peoplearenotdefeatedandscatteredtothewind.Butitwouldalsoshowthem
thatthegodsmustapproveofsuchaunion.Afterall,basedonwhatthe
Ascendedhavetoldthemforgenerations,ifthegodsdon’tapprove,theywill
seekvengeance.ThepeopleofSolisdon’tknowthatthegodssleep.Andthe
Ascendedrelyonthemneverdiscoveringthattruth.”
Noddingslowly,Ithoughtaboutthepeople.“Thepeople
wouldthinkthegodsapproved.”
“AndwhatdoyouthinkthepeoplewoulddoiftheAscendedturned
ontheoneChosenbythegods?Theverygodswho,accordingtotheAscended,
keepthepeopleofSolissafefromtheCraven?IftheAscendedturnonyou,the
kingdombuiltonlieswillbegintocrack.Itwilltakeverylittletoshatter
thewholedamnthing.AndifIrememberanythingaboutQueenIleana,isthat
she’saverycleverwoman.Sheknowsthis.”
Jarredbyhimsayinghernamewhenhedidsoveryrarely,I
sawthethinningofhislips.“ButnotcleverenoughtoknowthattheKingdom
ofAtlantiahasgrowntothepointwhereit’saconsiderablethreattotheir
rule?”
“TheyknowAtlantiastillexists,andthey’vefortified
theirarmies—theirknights.”
Anicyshiverwrappeditswaydownmyspineatthemention
oftheRoyalKnights.TheywerethearmyofSolis,heavilyarmored,
exceptionallytrained,andutterlyimposing.I’donlyeverseentheminthe
capital,andeventhen,itwasraretoseeaknightsincetheywerecampedinthe
foothillsoftheElysiumPeaks.Manyhadtakenavowofsilence.
“Butwehavebeenverycarefultokeephowmuchwe’vegrown
andaccomplishedquiet,makingsurethattheDescentersareseenasaragtag
groupofpeoplesupportingalonePrincewhoishell-bentonsecuringthe
throne.They’vegrowncomplacentoverthemanyyears.”Hearchedabrowashe
tookadrink.“AndIdobelievemanyscholarshavesaidthattheegoisthe
downfallofmany,manypowerfulpeople.Evenwiththeknightsandtheentirety
oftheirguardsstandingbehindthem,itwouldnotbeenoughforthemtodefeat
us.Thisiswhereyoucomein.Or,moreaccurately,wherewecomein.
Together.Married.Joined.Youandme—”
“Igetit,”Iinterruptedwithalowgrowl.
Thehueofhiseyesdeepened.“Evenwithallmyconsiderable
talent,Iwon’tgetanywherenearthemortheTemples.Itried,manytimes
whileIwasinCarsodonia,butyou…youaremywayin.”
Iexhaledheavily.“Youthinkwithme—bymarryingme—you’ll
beabletonegotiatethereleaseofyourbrother.”
“Andbargainforthereturnofsomeofourland.Iwant
everythingeastofNewHaven.”
“EverythingeastofNewHaven.Thatwouldbe…theWastelands
andPompay.Andfarthersouth,Spessa’sEnd….”
“Andmanymoresmalltownsandfields.Manyofthoseplaces
notevenruledoverbyalocalAscended,”hesaid.“Manyofthoseplacesthey
don’tevenuse.Itwouldbeafairrequest.”
Itwasafairrequest.Soliswouldstillmaintainthemajor
tradecitiesandthefarmlandsoutsideofCarsodoniaandMasadonia,among
others.But…
“Itwon’tbeassimpleasussendingalettertothem,
announcingournuptials.”Casteelsnaggedmyattention.“OncetheAscended
realizethatyou’vegonemissing,theymaybelieveyouhavecometoanunfortunate
end.”
“AtthehandsoftheDarkOne?”
Heinclinedhisheadinmydirection.“Oranynumberofvery
badpeople.Eitherway,QueenIleananoranyoftheAscendedwillbelievethat
wehavecometogetherwithoutseeingthatyou’restillalive,healthy,andwhole.
Wewillmeetwiththemonourtermsandpresentthemwiththeiroptions.”
“Giveintoyourdemandsorfacewar?”Ifinished.“Warmay
comeeitherway,butiftheyagree,wemaybuythepeopleofSolissometime.”
Casteelnoddedasheplacedhisarmbackonthemantel.
“Whatyou’rerequestingisfair.Theyhaveyourbrother,and
thelossoflandwouldn’thurtSolisthatmuch,”Isaid.“Iwouldhopethat
theywouldhavethecommonsensetoagree.Theymaynotbeabletomakemore
vamprys—thatisiftheyhaven’tcapturedotherstouseforthat.”Animageof
Ianformed,andmystomachrolled.“Andiftheydon’tagree…thentherewillbe
war.”Mygazeliftedtohis.“AndifyoumeetwiththeKingandQueen,andthey
agree,willyouletthemlive?”
Hischindippedasaslow,coldsmilespreadacrosshis
strikingface.“OnceIhavewhatIwantandwhatmykingdomneeds,theywill
notremainonSolis’sthrone.Theywillnotremainbreathing.Notthem.Not
her.”
Ilookedaway,tensingagainstthedesiretorecoil.Icould
understandit,especiallyafterwhatthey’ddonetohim.Butitwashardto
forgetthosemonths,thoseyearsaftertheattack,whenallIhadwasIanand
QueenIleana.
ButIhadseenthewallsofthechamberunderground.I’d
seenCasteel’sscars.I’dhadmysuspicionsbeforeIevenmethim.Iknewthat
whatheclaimedwastrue.Ididn’tneedtoseeorknowanythingelsetobelieve
that.
“AndyouplantoallowtheAscendedtolive?Whowouldrule
Solisthen?”IcutmyselfoffbecauseIwantedtoask:whataboutIan?
“Topreventwarandrepeathistory,theywouldhavetobe
allowedtolive.Thingswouldhavetochange,though.NomoreRites.Nomore
mysteriousdeaths.Theywouldneedtocontrolthemselves.”
“Andyoubelievethatcanhappen?Yousaidittakesmonths,
ifnotlonger—”
“Buttheycancontrolthemselves.Theyalreadydoinsome
cases,andalotofAscendedareoldenoughtodoso.Theycanmaketheirbite
pleasurable.Theycanfeedwithoutkilling.I’msuremanywouldvolunteer.Or
theAscendedcouldevenpayfortheservice.Eitherway,iftheywanttolive,
theywillneedtocontroltheirbloodlust.Thefactthattheyarenotthe
Cravenstheycreateisproofthattheycan.Theyjustneverhadareasontodo
so.”
“Doyouthinkitwillwork?”Iasked.
“It’stheonlywaytheAscendedhaveachanceofsurvival,”
hesaid.
Butifhewaswrong—ifhefailed?Ifhisbrotherwasalready
gone?Ilookedupathimandcouldsaywithahundredpercentcertaintythathe
wouldkillthemallordietrying.
Mythroatconstricted.“Andafterward,withorwithoutyour
brother,I’mfree?”
Hemetmygaze.“Youwillbefreetodoasyouchoose.”
“So,thismarriagewillnotbe…real?”
Therewasabeatofsilencebeforehesaid,“It’sasrealas
youbelieveanythingaboutmeis.”
Hewasn’tlookingatmethen.Hisattentionwasonceagain
fixedontheflames.Thelineofhisjawwaslikemarble.“Itrulyhavenoidea
whatthat’ssupposedtomean,”Iadmitted,foldingmylegsundertheblanket.
“HowwillIbefreeifwemarry?”
“Iwillgrantadivorceifthatiswhatyoudecide.”
IgaspedbeforeIcouldstopmyself.Divorceswere
practicallyunheardofinSolis.TheyhadtogobeforetheCourttoevenpetition
tohaveone,anditwas,moreoftenthannot,rejected.“Isdivorcecommonin
Atlantia?”Iasked.
“No,”heanswered.“WhatisuncommonisfortwoAtlantians
tomarrywhodon’tloveoneanother.Butwhenpeopledochangealongwiththeir
love,theymaydivorce.”
Igotsnaggedonthewholepartaboutmarryingwhenthere
wasnolovebeinguncommon.Ifitwassorare,thenhowcouldhesoeasilygo
intoaunionwithsomeoneheobviouslydidn’tlove?Theanswerwaseasy.He
woulddoanythingforhisbrother.
“So,thismarriageisn’treal.”Idrewinashallowbreath.
“AndwhatifIrefuse?WhatifIsayno?”
“Ihopethatwon’tbethecase,especiallyaftereverything
you’veseen.Butthisway,youwon’tbeusedtosendamessagetotheAscended,
andyouwon’tbeusedbythem.It’sawayout.”Hedraggedahandthroughhis
hair.“It’snotaperfectone,butitisone.”
It…itwasawayout.Awindy,twistingone,butIknewthat
ifhehadnevercomeforme,IwouldbeinMasadonia,veiledandsuspicious,
buthavingnorealideaofthehorrorthatwashappening—thefutureIwasgoing
tomeet.Casteelwasn’tablessingindisguise.Ididn’tknowwhathewas,but
nothingwouldhavebeenokayifhehadn’tenteredmylife.
Iliftedmychin.“AndwhatifIstillsayno?”
“Iwon’tforceyoutomarryme,Poppy.WhatIalreadyhave
toforcefromyouis…distastefulenough,giveneverythingthatwastakenfrom
youbeforeyouevenmetme.”Hischestrosewithaheavybreath.“Ifyou
refuse,Idon’tknow.I’llhavetofindanotherwaytofreemybrotherand
somehowhideyouawaysothatnoone,includingmypeople,cangettheirhands
onyou.”
Surpriseflickeredthroughme,andwithoutthinking,I
reachedouttohim,readinghisemotions,searchingforahintofschemingorslyness.
Anythingtoindicatethathewasn’tbeingtruthful.WhatIfeltwassadness,
heavierandthickerthanbefore,andItastedsomethingsourinmymouth,
somethingthatleftmewiththesensationofwantingtoshedmyskin.
Shame.
Ifeltshamecomingfromhim,anditwasn’tburieddeep.It
wasthere,justbelowthesurface.“You…youdon’tlikethis,doyou?The
situationI’min—thatwe’rein.”
Amuscleflexedinhisjawoncemore,buthesaidnothing.
“That’swhyyouaren’tjusthaulingmestraighttothe
capitalrightnow,demandingtheexchange,”Isaid.“Thatwouldbequicker.It
wouldbeeasier—”
“Therewouldbenothingeasyaboutgivingyouto
them.”Hiseyesflashedanintenseamberbeforehelookedaway.“Andstopreading
myemotions.It’sabitrude.”
Mybrowslifted.“Andforcingmetodrinkyourblood
wasn’t?”
“Iwassavingyourlife,”hegroused.
“MaybeI’msavingyoursbyreadingyouremotions,”Ishot
back,pullingmysensesbackin.
Casteelpinnedmewithadrylook.“Pleaseexplainhowyou
cametothatconclusion.”
“Becauseit’sarelieftoknowthatyouwouldn’tforcemy
handinmarriage.”Anditdidloosensomeofthetensionknottinginmychest.
“Itdoesn’tchangetheliesandeverythingelse,butitdoesatleastdampenmy
nearmurderousrage.”Andthesoul-shatteringdisappointment,butIwasn’t
sharingthat.“So,Imightnotactuallytrytoseveryourheadwhileyou
sleep.”
Hislipstwitched.“Butnopromises?”
Ididn’tdignifythatwitharesponse.“So,youwilltell
everyonewe’regettingmarried,andI’msupposedtoactasifthatisthecase
whenwe’rearoundothers?Thenoncewe’remarried,wewillgotothecapital?”
Casteelliftedhishead,gazefocusedonthewallacross
fromhim.“Yes,butwewillhavetobeconvincing.It’snotassimpleastelling
theworldwe’retobemarried.WemustmarryassoonaswearriveinAtlantia.
BeforeItakeyoutomyparents.”
Mystomachhollowed.“Doyouthinkit’swisetomarrybefore
youeventelltheKingandQueenyou’reengaged?”
“Notparticularly.”Therewasaflashofaboyishgrin,one
Iimaginedheworequiteabitwhenhewasyoungerandabouttodosomethinghe
knewhewouldgetintroublefor.“Myparentswillbe…displeased.”
“Displeased?”Ichokedonalaugh.“Ihaveafeelingthere
willbeastrongeremotion.”
“Quitepossibly.Butmyparentswillseektodelaythe
marriageuntiltheyaresureit’strue.Wecannotaffordthetimeitwilltake
togaintheirpermission—permissionIdonotneed,”hesaid.“AsIsaidbefore,
mypeoplewantretribution.IftheythinkthisisaploytogetbackaPrince
theyhavealreadymourned,andiftheyvaluerevengeoverlife,theywilltry
something.Onceyoubecomemywife,youwillbeprotected.”
“Yourpeopleseem…”Itrailedoff.Hispeopleseemed
barbaric,butmineweren’tmuchbetter.WhetherIclaimedtheAscendedasmy
peopleornot,Ihadbeenraisedbythem.Andwouldn’tIbejustasviolentif
Ilivedeveryday,knowingthattheAscendedcouldarriveatanytimeto
slaughterwithoutquestionorpunishment?Iwouldbejustaswrathful.
AshudderworkeditswaythroughmeasIstaredathis
profile,atthetautlinesofhisface,andtheshadowsunderhiseyes.I
realizedthatmaybeCasteelandIweren’tallthatdifferent.“Iunderstand.”
Hisgazeflewtomine,hiseyeswide.“What?”
“Iunderstandwhyyou’redoingthis.Theyhaveyourbrother,
whowascapturedintheprocessoffreeingyou,”Itoldhim,mythoughts
shiftingtoIan.“Icanunderstandthatyou’dgotoextremestogethimback.”
Heturnedtome.“Really?”
Inodded.“Iwoulddothesame.So,Icanunderstandand
stillnotlikeit.IcanhatethatI’mnothingmorethanapawntoyouand
stillunderstandwhyIam.”
“You’renotjustapawntome,Poppy.”
“Don’tlie,”Itoldhim,myheartsqueezing.“That’snot
doingeitherofusanyfavors.”
Heopenedhismouthandthenclosedit,seemingtorethink
whathe’dbeenabouttosay.
“There’sareasonIunderstand,”Itoldhim.“Youwoulddo
anythingtofreeyourbrother,andIwilldoanythingtogetbacktomine.I’ll
agreetothisifyoupromisetohelpmegettoIan.”
“Poppy—”
“Iknowwhatheis,andyouknowthatIhavetoseewhat
he’sbecome.”
Heturnedfullytome.“Andwhatifhehasbecomejustlike
theothers?”
“Justbecausehe’sAscendeddoesn’tautomaticallymeanhe’s
evil—don’t.”Iliftedahandwhenhemovedtospeakagain.“Yousaidthatthey
cancontroltheirbloodlustiftheywant.ManyoftheAscendedareevil,but
justasmanyweregoodpeoplebeforetheirAscensions,andtheyhadnoideawhat
thetruthwas.Mybrother…”Idrewinashakybreath,squaringmyshoulders.“I
havetoseeformyselfwhathehasbecome.Sothatisthedeal.Iwill
temporarilymarryyouandhelpyoufreeyourbrotherifyouhelpmefreemine.”
Casteel’sheadtiltedashestaredatmeforseveralmoments.
Ihadnoideawhathesaw,butthenhenodded.“Iagree.”
“Okay,”Iwhispered.
“You’renotgoingtofightmeonthis?”
Iconsideredthat.“Notinfrontofothers.WhywouldI?If
thembelievingwe’regettingmarriedkeepsmealive,thenwhywouldn’tIgo
alongwiththat?”Ireasoned,frowningslightly.Iwouldneverhaveguessed
thatwhiskeyhadsuchanamazingabilitytoclearone’sthoughts.“Idon’thave
adeathwish.NeitherdoIhaveadesiretobecagedandusedasabagof
blood.”
Heflinched.Itwassmall,butIsawit.“Butinprivate,
you’llfightmetoothandnail?”hesurmised.
“Kieranknowswhatyou’veplanned,doesn’the?”
Henodded.
Imethisstare.“Theninfrontofhimandinprivate,I
willfightyoutoothandnail.Iwillnotpretendtobethedocilefiancée
withoutanaudience.”
“Understandable.”Hedraggedhisthumboverhisglass.“But
ifyouwanttopretendtobejustthatinprivate—”
“Notgoingtohappen.”
Somethingglimmeredinhisgoldeneyes.“Ithinkyouwill
findthatIcanbeimpossiblycharming.”
Iglaredathim.
“Rememberwhatyousaidaboutimpossibilities?”
Idid.“Butthisistrulyimpossible.”
“Iguesswewillsee.”
“Iguesswewill,”Itoldhim,relaxing.Thisbanterfelt
normal.Atleast,forus.
Casteeleyedme.“Ifeellikethisisatrick,andyou’re
twosecondsfromtryingtoplungethatknifeintomyheartagain.”
Icoughedoutadrylaugh.“Whatgoodwouldthatdo?You’d
onlybeannoyed,andtheknifeisnotnearlysharpenoughtoseveryourheador
pierceyourincrediblythickskull.”
Hesmirked,finishingoffthewhiskeyleftinhisglass
beforemovingawayfromthemantel.“Butitwouldgiveyougreatsatisfaction.”
Iconsideredthat.
Itwould.
“Iknewit,”hemurmured,placingtheglassonthetable.
AcoupleofmomentspassedasIfeltCasteel’sgazeonme.
“DoAtlantiansrecognizethetraditionofringswhentheypropose?”Iasked.
TheAscendeddidn’tinSolis,butmanyofthemortalsdid.Aringwasbestowed
uponacouple’sengagement,andthenbandswereexchangeduponmarriage.
“Wedo.”
“ThenhowbelievableisitthatweareengagedifIdon’t
havearing?”
“Goodpoint,”hemurmured.
“Iwantaring,”Iannounced.“Iwantanobscenelybigone
likeI’veseensomeofthewivesofwealthymerchantshave.Theirdiamondsare
solargetheylookliketheyshouldweighdowntheirhands.”
Heangledhisbodytowardme.“Iwillfindyouadiamondso
bigitwillentertheroombeforeyoudo.”
“Good.”IttookmeamomenttorealizethatIwassmiling.I
wonderedifIshouldbeconcernedbythatasIthoughteverythingover.Ifelt
alittlemoreatease.WhatIhadsaidtohimaboutunderstandingwhyhewas
doingthiswastrue.Thatdidn’tmeanIhadtolikeitorthatrealitydidn’t
stingandhurtsomethingfierce.ButifVikterhadtaughtmeanything,ifI’d
learnedanythingfromQueenIleanaandmytimeastheMaiden,dealingwithDuke
TeermanandLordMazeen,itwasthatbeingpragmaticandrationalwastheonly
waytowinabattleandsurviveawar.Iwouldgoalongwiththisbecausethis
washowIstayedaliveandgottoIan.I,likeCasteel,woulddoanythingfor
mybrother.Andthatincludedgoingfromoneviper’snesttoanother.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter11
Iwastobemarried.
ThatwasthelastthoughtIhadbeforefallingasleepand
thefirstthoughtIhaduponwaking—bothofwhichI’ddonealone.
CasteelhadleftshortlyafterIagreed,Delanohavingsummoned
him.Iendedupfallingasleep,andtheonlyreasonIknewhe’dreturnedinthe
middleofthenightwasbecauseI’dwokenatsomepointwiththewarmthofhis
bodyinchesfrommine.I’dlainthereforfartoolong,listeningtothesteady
soundofhisbreathing,fightingtheurgetorolloverandlookathim.Hewas
gonewhenIwoke,andIwasrelieved—thistimefordifferentreasonsthan
before.
IneededtowrapmyheadaroundwhatIhadagreedto,andI
triedtodosoasIstoodinfrontofthedimlylitvanityinthebathing
chamber,tacklingtheknotsinmyhairasiftheyhadtheanswerstoallmy
questions.
Themarriagewas
real…yetnot.Abusinessarrangementthatwouldgivebothofuswhatwewanted.
Hisbrother.Land.Mybrother.Freedom.Andmaybeevenanendtoawarthat
hadn’tevenbegunyet.
Well,hopefully,wewouldgainwhatwedesired.
HowcouldInot
agree?IfIsaidno,andCasteeltrulyletmego,stashingmeawaywherenoone
couldfindme—ifthatwereevenpossible—IwouldstillneedtoseeIan.This
way,Iwasn’tdoingitalone.ImaybeCasteel’skeytotheKingandQueen,but
Ihadenoughintelligenceandcommonsensetorecognizethathewasalsothe
safestandsmartestpathtomybrother.
Butthatwasn’ttheonlyreasonIhadagreed.
DespiteCasteel’sliesandbetrayals,IknewthatIwouldn’t
havebeenabletowalkaway,leavingCasteeltosavehisbrotherandpossibly
evenhispeoplethroughdifferentmeans.EventhoughIhadbeengivenlittle
opportunitytodiscoverwhoIwasasaperson,Iknewenoughaboutmyselfto
realizethatIwouldn’thavefoundamomentofpeaceinwhateverfreedomIhad.
NotaftereverythingI’dlearned,andnotwhentherewassomethingIcoulddo.
Butmarriage?
Ithadbeensolongsincelittle-girlfantasiesofweddingsand
thepossibilityofbeingtiedtoanAscended—somethingthat,atthetime,I
hadn’tknownwouldneverhappen—hadfilledmewithfearandpanic.
Thismarriagefilledmewithpanicandfeartoo,butfor
very,verydifferentreasons.Wewouldhavetobehaveasifwewantedone
anotherinawaythatwentbeyondthephysical.We’dhavetoactasifwewere
inlove.Andthatwasdangerous.Evenwithmylackofexperienceinallthings,
Iknewthis.WhatIalreadyfeltforhiminspiteofeverythingfeltlikea
slipperyslope.Itwouldbehardenoughtopretendtobetogethersowecould
convincehispeopleofourrelationshipandnotbeaffectedbyit.Thereneeded
tobeboundaries.Lines.Iwasstillapawn.Onlynow,Iwasanactiveone.
Icouldn’tforgetthat.
Iwouldn’t.
Anotherworrymanifested.Howwerewegoingtoconvince
anyonethatwewereinalovingrelationshipwhenI’dpubliclyrefusedthe
proposalandinsinuated,ratherclearly,thatIthoughthe’dlosthismind?
HowwasIsupposedtoevenact?AllIhadasexampleswere
myparents,andfromwhatIcouldremember,everythingabouttheirlove—the
longlooksandthewaytheyconstantlytouchedoneanother—hadbeennatural.
Somethingthatcouldn’tbefakedorforced.Andtherestoftherelationships
I’dseenregularlywerethoseoftheAscended,andI’dneverseentheDukeand
Duchesstoucheachother.EvenIanneverspokeofhiswifeinanyofthe
lettershesent.Notoncebeyondannouncingtheirmarriage—somethingIhadn’t
beenallowedtoattend.Then,QueenIleana’srefusaltoallowmetotravelhad
beenpositionedasasafetyconcern.Butnow,Iwonderedifitwassomething
more.
Ishould’vequestionedmorethen,butIhadbecome
complacentintheAscended’sabsolutecontrolofme.Howdidthathappen?How
didthepeopleofSolisgettothepointwheresoveryfewquestionedhanding
overtheirchildren?Someevenhappilydidso,feelinghonored.Wasitfear?
Misinformation?Lackofaccesstoeducationandresources?Thereweresomany
reasonswhy,andevenmoreforthosewhohadbeguntosuspectthatthingswere
notastheyseemed,yethadmadeexcuses.
LikeIhad.
Becauseseeingthetruthwasterrifying
AndwhatifCasteel’splanworked?IsawIanand…dealtwith
howthatturnedout.Thenwhat?WouldtheAscendedtrulychange?Wouldthepeople
ofAtlantiabesatisfied?AndhowwouldweknowiftheAscendedwerefollowing
thenewrules,livingamorerestrictedlife?Eveniftheydid,Idoubtedthe
dividebetweenthosewholivedinplaceslikeRadiantRowandtheslumsbythe
Risewouldsuddenlyevaporate.ThewheeltheAscendedcreatedwouldcontinueto
turn,wouldn’tit?OrwouldlosingtheQueenandKingscattertherestofthe
Ascended,forcingthemintoanewwayoflife?
Ididn’tknowtheanswerstoanyofthat.AllIdidknowwas
thatthepeopleofSoliscouldn’tcontinuetobepreyedupon.AndifIcould
helpstopthat,thenIwould.
ThatwasapurposefargreaterthantheoneI’dlivedwith
astheMaiden.Itwasreal.Itwouldchangelives.ItmademefeelasifIhad
beenchosenforsomethingthatmattered
ButnoneofthattoldmehowIwassupposedtoactinaloving
relationship.TheAscendedalwayscameacrossasiftheyweresomehowremoved
fromphysicalneeds,butIknewthatwasn’talwaysthecase.ThoughDuke
Teerman’sandLordMazeen’sperversionswerenotgoodexamplesofhowtobehave
inarelationship.
Myheartbeattoofastinmychestasaknocksounded.A
momentlater,thedoorcrackedopen,andKierancalledout,“Wantbreakfast?”
“Yes.”Droppingthebrush,Ihurriedfromthebathing
chamber.
Kieranheldthedooropenforme.“Someoneisveryhungry.”
Iwasn’tsureIcouldconsumeevenamouthfuloffood.I
steppedoutintothewalkwaytoseethatthesnowhadstopped,eventhoughthe
windstillwhippedthroughthetrees,sendingthefallensnowwhirlingacross
theyard.
“Willwebeleavingsoon?”Iasked.“Sincethesnowhas
stopped?”
“IbelieveAlastirandsomeoftheotherswillleavelater
todaytochecktheroadstooureast,toseeifthey’repassable.Ihopeso
sincethestormdidn’tstretchveryfartothewest.”
MeaningtheroadsfromMasadonia,oreventhecapital,
wouldn’tbeasimpassable.“Doyouthinktheyrealizedwehaven’tshownatour
nextlocationyet?”
“Idon’tthinkso.Wehavetime.Notmuch,butsome,”he
said.
Itwasweirdtofeelrelief,almostasifitwereabetrayal
ofsomesort,eventhoughIknewitwasn’t.
“So,Penellaphe.Foronce,Ihaveaquestionforyou,”
Kierandrawledasweenteredthestairwell.
Iglancedoverathim.“Okay?”
“How’sitfeeltobeonthevergeofbecomingareal
Princess?”
“Hetoldyoualready?”Ididn’tknowwhythatshould
surpriseme.CasteelhadprobablyseenKieranlastnight.
“Ofcourse,hedid.Iprobablyknewhisplanshadchanged
beforehedid.”
Myeyesnarrowed.“I’mwillingtobethisplanschangedwhen
herealizedIwaspartAtlantian.”
Hesmiled,andtheexpressionhidawealthofmysteries.
“Hisplanschangedwellbeforethat.ButlikeIsaid,hehadn’tquiterealized
that.”
“Butyoudid?Youknowhimthatwell?”
“Ido.”
“Well,goodforyou,”Imuttered.
Hechuckled.“Ican’twaittoseehowyoutwoaregoingto
pullthisoff.”
Mypulseskitteredlikeawildhorse.“Whatdoesthatmean?”
Kieranslidmeaknowinglookasweenteredthebustlingcommon
area.“NotaminutehasgonebysincewelefttheBloodForestthatyouaren’t
threateningCasteel’slife.”
“That’sanexaggeration.There’sdefinitelybeen…Several
minuteshavegoneby.”Icringed,butKieranhadapoint.
“Iguesswe’llfindoutsoon.”
Iwastoonervoustowonderifanyonewasshootingme
hatefullooksaswewentintotheotherwiseemptybanquethallandtookour
seatsatthetable.Chairshadnowreplacedbenches.
Foodwasbroughtout—sausageandeggs,alongwiththose
amazingbiscuits.Somehow,Igotpastthetwistingofmystomachtosnatchone
ofthose.IwasfarquieterthismorningasIatemyfood.Thereasonwhy
appearedjustasIfinishedwhatIcouldeat.Kieranlookedoverhisshoulder,
andIknewwhohadarrived.
Slowly,Ipeekedbehindme.Casteelwalkedintotheroom
withAlastirandseveralofthemenathisside.Alastirspoketohimas
CasteellookedstraighttowhereKieranandIsat.Ourgazesseemedtolockfor
amoment,andthenIquicklylookedaway,heartbacktothunderinginmychest.
“Casteelwillannounceyouashisfiancée.”Kieranlowered
hiscup.“Itwillbewisetobehaveappropriately.”
MyeyesnarrowedonKieran’sprofile.“DoyouthinkI’m
goingtoscreaminCasteel’sfaceandrunoffinstead?”
Ahintofasmileappeared.“Iwouldn’tbesurprised.”
Rollingmyeyes,Ipeekedatthedoors.Thegrouphad
stoppedjustinsidetheroom,speakingwithNaill,who,liketherestofthem,
hadahabitofseeminglyappearingoutofnowhere.“Doyouthinkhe’llbelieve
us?”
“Yetanotherquestion?”Kieranleanedback,crossinghis
arms.“Seriously?Doyouevergettiredofaskingsomany?”
“Apparently,youdon’t,sinceyoujustaskedthreeofthem.”
Hechuckledthen.“Ithinkitwillbetoughtoconvince
Alastir.”
Istaredathim.“That’sreallymotivational.Thankyou.”
“You’rewelcome.”
Onequickglance,andIsawthattheywerestillbythe
doors.“HowdoyouknowhewillannouncethatIagreedtothemarriage?Didhe
tellyou?”
“No.”
“Thenhowdoyouknow?”
“Ijustknowthings.”
Ipinnedhimwithablandlook.“Iknowyoutwoareclose,
but…”Somethingoccurredtome.Thebond.“IreadthatsomeAtlantiansofa
certainclassandwolvenhavebonds.”
“Didyou?”hemurmured.
“Yes.Itisbelievedthewolvenareduty-boundtoprotect
theAtlantianthey’rebondedto.”
“Areyougoingtoeatthatbiscuit?”heasked.
Browsknitting,Ishookmyhead.“Youcanhaveit.”
Kieranpickeduptherollandimmediatelybegantearingit
intotinypieces,remindingmeofhowthesmallrodentstheHealerskeptin
cagesrippedaparttheirpaperbedding.
Ishovedthatimageoutofmyhead.“I’mthinkingthe
historytextshadthepartaboutthebondbeingwithacertainAtlantianclass
wrong.It’sacertainbloodline.Elemental.”
“You’dberight.”Hepoppedapieceofthebreadintohis
mouth.“Icouldliveoffthisbread.”
“Thebreadis…tasty.”IkindofwishedIhadn’tlethimhave
it.“Thebondbetweenyoutwoismorethanjustyouprotectinghim,isn’tit?”
“Wewerebondedatbirth,andtheconnectionisalotof
things,Penellaphe.”
Iwasabouttodemanddetails,likeifhecouldsomehow
sensewhatCasteelwasabouttodoornot,butthesoundofapproachingfootsteps
quelledthedesire.Myheart,whichhadonlysloweddownslightly,startedpounding
again.Casteelandthemenwerecomingover,andIhadnoideawhatIwas
supposedtodo.SmileprettilyandbehaveasifCasteelhungtheverymoonand
starseachandeverynight?MyshoulderstightenedasItriedtopicturemyself
doingthat.Andforsomereason,thescarsonmyfacebecamebiggerandmore
visibleinmymind.
“Areyouhyperventilating?”Kieranasked.
“What?”Istaredatmyplate.“No.”
“You’rebreathingveryfast.”
WasI?Ohgods,Iwas.WhywasIbehavinglike—?
“Youshouldcalmyourself,”headvised.“AsIsaid,itis
veryunlikelythatAlastirwillbelieveCasteel.Theotherswillfollowhis
lead.”
“Yetagain,”Imuttered.“Nothelpful.”
Ididn’tgetachancetodemandtoknowwhyAlastirwould
holdthatkindofsway.
BeforeKierancouldrespond,IheardAlastirsaysomething
tohim,andhonestly,itsoundedlikeadifferentlanguage.Myearsonly
startedtoprocesssoundswhenIheardCasteelsaymyname.
Bloodrushedtothetempoofapoundingdrumasyearsof
expectedbehaviorandgroomingkickedinonanunconsciouslevel.Ifeltmyself
standing.
Casteeltouchedthesmallofmyback,thecontactlightyet
Ifeltitinnearlyeverypartofmybody.Mygazeslowlyliftedtohis,and
theintensityinthoseamberdepthsheldmecaptive.IthoughtIsawsomething
akintoconcernsettlingintohisfeatures.WasIstillbreathingtoofast?
“Penellaphe?”herepeated.
“I’msorry.”Feelingalittledizzy,Iblinked.“Didyousay
something?”
“Iaskedifyouwerefinishedwithbreakfast.”Casteel
watchedmeclosely.
“Yes.”Inoddedforextraemphasis.
“Good.”Hetookholdofmyhandashetuckedmyhairback
frommyface,brushingtheheavystrandsovermyshoulder.Theactwasan
intimategestureIwasn’tusedto,andthelookthatsettledinmyfeatures
toldmethathewasgrowingconcerned.
Ineededtopullmyselftogether.
IfIcouldstandandremainsilentduringDukeTeerman’s
lessons,IcouldbehaveasifIweren’tabouttofalltothefloornow.
Fixingasmiletomyface,IturnedtoAlastirasIpulled
forthmannerslearnedlongago.“Hello,Alastir.Ihopeyouhadagood
evening?”
Aslightcurvetohislipsformedasheinclinedhishead.“It
was.Thankyouforasking.”HenotedwhereCasteelheldmyhandandthenarched
abrowatKieran.“It’sverypoliteofhertoask,unlikeeitherofyou.”
Kieransoundedasifhechokedonair,andonmyotherside,
IthoughtIheardamuffledsnort.IsqueezedCasteel’shand.Hard.“I’m
learningthatthesetwoarenotverywellmannered,”Isaid.“Iapologizefor
theirlackofconsideration.”
Alastir’sgazeswiveledbacktomeasEmilgrinnedfrom
wherehestood,speakingwithNaill.AdeeplaughleftAlastir,crinklingthe
skinaroundhiseyes.Mylipspartedonasoftinhale.Thatlaugh.AllIcould
thinkofwasVikter,andmyheartachedfiercely.
“ThesetwoaredefinitelynotonesI’dconsiderwell-behaved
underanycircumstances,”Alastirreplied.
Casteellookeddownatme,andIthoughtIsawanapologyin
hisstare,asifheweren’tthrilledwithhowthismightplayout.Hesaid
nothing,eventhoughAlastirwaited,andotherswatched.Hereturnedthe
squeeze,nowherenearashardasIhaddone.Didhewantmeto…readhim?Iopened
mysenses,andwhatItastedallofasuddenwasamixofsourandvanilla.
Shameandsincerity.Hewasn’tproudofthis.Eitherthat,orIwasdeciphering
hisemotionswrong.Thatcouldbepossible,butIdidn’tthinkso.Inodded,
andhislasheslowered,shieldinghiseyesforthebriefestmoment.
AndthenIsawit.
Themaskslippingintoplace,curvingupthecornerofhislip
inasmugtwistofasmile.Hisfeaturessharpened,andwhenheopenedhiseyes
again,theyremindedmeofchipsofamber.
“Ihearcongratulationsareinorder,”Alastirsaid,drawing
myattentiontohim.Thelaughterhadlongsincefaded.“ThePrincetoldme
thismorningthatyouacceptedhisproposal.”
“Idid.”
“Imustbehonest,
whenhetoldme,IthoughtImight’vedrunktoomuchlastnight.Ididn’t
believehimwhenhesaidhewasmarrying,especiallytheMaiden.”
“SheisnottheMaiden,”Casteelcutinswiftly.“Not
anymore.”Heletgoofmyhandandmovedittomybackagain
Ifeltaninexplicablewarminginmychest,onethatleftme
greatlyunsettled.
Alastircockedaneyebrow.“Iwouldimagineshe’snot,”he
said,andmyeyeswidenedslightly.“ButshewastheMaiden.”He
shiftedhisattentiontoCasteel.“Whoshewasmaybeinthepast,butthat
doesnotchangethatpast.”
ThehandatmybackflattenedasCasteelreplied,“Thepast
isirrelevant.”
“Doyoureallybelievethat?”Alastirmused.
“WhatIbelievedoesn’tmatter.”Casteel’spalmslidoffmy
back,leavingbehindashiver.Hetookmyhandoncemore.“Whatdoesmatteris
thateveryoneelsebelievesthat.”
“SpokenlikeatruePrince.Yourmotherandfatherwouldbe
proud.”Alastirgruntedoutashort,drylaughashisgazeroamedovermeonce
more,lingeringonthesideofmyneck,wheremyhairhadfallenovermy
shoulder.Therewasnodoubtthathesawthefadedmarks.Thelineofhismouth
tightened.“I’mgladyou’rehere,Penellaphe,aswe’veonlyhadafewmoments
tospeak,andIhavemanyquestions.”
“Icanimagine,”Imurmured.
Casteeltuggedgentlyonmyhand.“Sitwithme?”
Nodding,IstartedfortheseatI’djustrisenfrom,but
Casteelmovedtothechairattheheadofthetable.Hesat,anditonlystruck
methenwhereheplannedformetosit.Notinachairbutinhislap.I
hesitated.TherewasnowayIwassittinginhislap.Overmyshoulder,Isawthe
otherstaketheirseatswhileKieranmovedtostandatCasteel’sleft,and
Alastirtookthechairtohisright,whereI’dbeenseatedearlier.
Casteellookedupatme,thetwistofhislipssoftening.
Whatnowfilledhisgazewasachallenge.Myeyesnarrowed,andhearcheda
brow.Therewasnowhereelsetosit.Theonlyotheroptionwouldbetostand
behindhimlikeaservant,andIrefusedtodothat.Therewasaspace
attheend—
“Wouldyoulikethisseat,Penellaphe?”Alastiroffered.
Knowingthatseatingattableswasoftenademonstrationof
one’sposition,IknewIshouldn’taccepttheoffer.
“Myfiancéeisupsetwithme,”Casteelannounced,surprising
meenoughthatIturnedtohim.
“Ican’timaginePenellapheeverbeingupsetwithyou,”Kieran
commented,andIhadthestrongesturgetoleanoverandpunchhim.
“Iknow.”Casteel’ssmilewaswidernow,morereal.The
dimpleinhisleftcheekwasstartingtomakeanappearance,andthehintof
fangscausedmystomachtodipatthesametimemyirespiked.“ButIadmit,I
deserveit.”
Istilled,unsurewhathewasabout.
“You’renotevenmarried,andyou’realreadyupsettingher?”
Emilchuckled.“That’snotagoodstart.”
“No,it’snot,whichiswhyImustrectifythisimmediately.
I’msorry,”hesaid,thesmilefadingashiseyesmetmine.“Truly.Itwasn’t
planned.”
Myskinpimpled.Washeapologizingformenotbeing
preparedforthis,infrontofothers?
Casteelshifted,
curlinganarmaroundmywaist.Socaughtoffguardbyhiswords,Iendedup
sittingsidewaysinhislap.Hedippedhischin,andhislipsbrushedthecurve
ofmyearashewhispered,“IthoughtIwouldhavetimetospeaktoyoufirst.”
Inoddedslightly.
Hislipswereafeatherlightcaressacrossmycheek,andthen
hesaidlouder,“Ididn’tplantheproposal,andtobehonest,itwasn’tthe
verybest,asmanywithinHavenKeepwitnessed,eventhoseatthetable.She
actuallytoldmenoatfirst.”
“Thatwasnottheonlythingshesaid,”Naillcommentedwith
achuckle.“Toldhimhewasoutofhismind.Toldhimalotofthings.”
DidthatAtlantianhaveadeathwish?
Casteellaughed.“It’strue,butIwonherover,didn’tI?”
Theansweringmasculinechucklescausedmyskintoprickle
withirritation.MytonguemovedbeforeIcouldstopmyself.“ThatwasafterI
threwaknifeatyourface.”
AlastirmadeacoughingsoundasKieran’sandmyplateswere
removedandreplacedwithfood.“Excuseme?”
“Yes.”Casteel’seyeswerelikewarmpoolsofgold.“That
wasafteryouthrewtheknifeatme.Ihaven’tbeenthebestofsuitors,”he
continued,liftingmylefthand.“IpromisedherthelargestdiamondIcould
findassoonaswereturnhome.”
“Well,”Alastirdrewoutthewordashepickedupafork.
“Thatissomethingthatcanbeeasilyfixeduponreturning.OurQueenhasjust
whatyouneedinsafekeeping.”
Hismotherhadadiamondring?ForCasteel?Forwhenhe
married?Myspinecouldn’tbemorerigid.WhyhadIbroughtupthestupid
jewelry?Ididn’tevencareaboutitsinceI…well,I’dneverbeenallowedto
wearanybeyondthegoldenchainsoftheveil.
“Casteelhasn’texactlybeenforthcomingwithinformationon
howyoutwomet.”Alastirbitintohissausage,nottakingthetimetoslice
anddiceitasKieranhad.“Iwantedtoaskwhenwelastspoke.Howdidyouend
upintheincorrigiblehandsofourPrince,Penellaphe?Iimaginedsomeoneof
your…statuswould’vebeenhardtoreach,especiallybysomeonelikehim.”
Casteelletoutalowlaugh.“Youshouldhavemorefaithin
myabilitiestoachievewhatIwant.”
Itensed,feelinglikethosewordsweremeantmoreforme
thanAlastir.
“Bethatasitmay,”Alastirsaidwithawrygrin,“howdid
hefindawaytoyou?”
WonderinghowhonestIwasexpectedtobeandpreciselywhat
kindofrumorshe’dheard,Idecidedtobeastruthfulaspossible.Inthe
past,I’dlearnedthatmostliesweresuccessfulwhenthelittleinformation
givenwasthetruth.“Hebecamemyguard.”
“Well,that’snothowwemetinitially.”Casteel’shandthat
restedonthecurveofmyhipmoved,causingmetonearlyjumpoutofmyskin.
“Itwasactuallyatabrothel.”
Someoneatthetablesoundedasiftheychokedontheir
food.IwasbettingitwasEmil.
AfairbrowroseasAlastirchewedslowly.“Thatwas…unexpected.”
“TheRedPearlisn’tjustabrothel,”Icorrected,turninga
narrow-eyedglareonCasteel.
Hegrinned.“It’snot?”
“Cardgamesareplayedthere.”
“Thatwasn’ttheonlygamesbeingplayedthere,Princess.”
Histhumbmovedalongtheinsideofmyhip,causingmystomachtowhoosh.
“Penellaphehadahabitofsneakingoutandexploringthecityatnight.”
InibbledontheinsideofmylipasItoremygazefrom
Casteel.HadheknownhowoftenIdidthat?Hehadsaidthathe’dbeenwatching
meforlongerthanIrealized.
“WhatIknowoftheMaiden—and,yes,Casteel,Iknowshe’s
nolongertheMaiden,butthatwaswhatshewas,”headdedbeforeCasteelcould
correcthim.“TheAscensionsoftheothersweretiedtoyours,weren’tthey?
Andagain,Iamsorrythatyouwereraisedinsuchawebofliestoldbythe
Ascended.”
SeveralatthetablecursedatthementionoftheAscended.
“Thankyou.Andyes,you’reright.”Ifrownedslightly.“Or
theywere.Idon’tknowiftheirAscensionswillbecarriedoutnow.”
“Hopefully,theywon’t,”Delanoremarked.
“Iagree,”Isaidquietly,thinkingofIan.
“Doyou?”Alastirasked.“Truly?”
“Ido,”Iadmitted.“Ididn’tknowwhoorwhattheAscended
reallywere.I,likemostpeoplewithintheKingdomofSolis,onlyknewwhatI
wasshown.”
“ThenIexpectmanyareblindtowhatisrightinfrontof
them,”someonecommented,ayoungermanwithrichbrownhairtowardtheendof
thetable.
“ManyliveinfearofbeingrippedapartbytheCravenor
displeasingtheAscendedandangeringthegods,”Ireplied.Casteel’sarm
tightenedaroundmywaist,hishandsqueezingmyhipgently.Wasthatsomesort
ofmessage?Ihadnoidea,nordidIcare.ThepeopleofSoliswerevictims
justasmuchastheAtlantianswere.“Manyarealsomoreworriedabout
providingfortheirfamiliesandkeepingthemsafethantheyareabout
questioningwhattheAscendedtellthem.”
“Aretheysodistractedbytheirdailystrugglesthatthey
don’tquestionhandingovertheirchildrentotheCourtortogodsthey’venever
seen?”Alastirasked.“Oraretheyjustthatsubmissive?”
“Iwouldn’tconfusesubmissionfordistraction,andIwouldn’t
mistakeobedienceforstupiditywhenit’sapparentthatyouknowverylittle
aboutthepeopleofSolis,”Istatedcoolly.
Alastir’sgazeswungtomine.
“WhattheyhavebeentoldabouttheAtlantians,aboutthe
godsandtheCraven,isalltheyknow.Generationaftergeneration,they’re
taughttobelieveintheRiteandhowmuchofanhonoritisfortheirthird
sonsanddaughterstoservethegods.RaisedtobelievethatonlytheAscended
andthegodsstandbetweenthemandtheCraven.Iwasraisedthesameway.”I
leanedforward,alittlesurprisedtofindthatCasteeldidn’tstopme.“The
godsbelongtothepeopleofAtlantia,dotheynot?Doyourpeoplebelievein
themeventhoughthey’veneverseenthem?”
Silencefellaroundthetable.
ItwasKieranwhoanswered.“Thegodshavesleptforhundreds
ofyears,andonlytheoldestamongtheAtlantianscanrememberseeingthem.But
webelieveinthemnonetheless.”
Ismiledtightly.“JustasthepeopleofSolisbelievein
them.”
“ButnoteveryonewithinSolisfollowsKingJalaraandQueen
Ileana,”Alastirpointedout.“Therearemanywhohaveseenthetruth,who
supportAtlantia.”
“You’reright.TheDescenters.”Iexhaledslowly.“Iknow
I’vehadmysuspicionsthroughoutmylife.I’msuremanyothershave,aswell,
butforwhateverreason,theireyeshaven’tbeenfullyopened.Iimaginealot
ofthathastodowiththestabilityofwhatoneknows,evenifitisn’t
comfortable.AndIsupposealothastodowithfearofacknowledgingwhatis
trulyaroundus,whatitmeansforusandthosewecarefor.”
Alastirleanedback,eyeingme.“It’sadmirable.”
“Whatis?”
“Yourutterlackoffearwhenspeakingtome—talkingtoany
ofus—whenyouknowwhatweare,”hesaid.“Whatwearecapableof.”
Imethisstare.“I’mnotfoolishenoughtonotfeelfear
whenIknowthatanyofyoucouldkillmebeforeIevenhaveachancetotake
mylastbreath.Butfearingwhatyou’recapableofdoesn’tmeanIfearyou.”
Casteelleanedin,hisvoiceinmyear.“Stillsoincredibly
brave,”hemurmured,andthatinexplicablewarmingreturnedtomychest.
“Ilikeher,”AlastirsaidtoCasteelafteraheartbeat,and
Ithoughthemightactuallymeanthat.Then,IdidwhatKieranhadsuggested.I
usedmyabilitiesoncemore.Mysensesstretchedout,connectingtoAlastir.I
didn’tsenseangerfromhim,buttherewasthetanginessIoftenassociated
withsadness.Iwasn’tsurewhatcould’veevokedthatresponse,butIthought
hewasbeinghonest.
“ButbacktohowyouandthePrincemetatthis…unique
establishment.Howwasthatpossible?”Alastir’sfingerstappedidlyonthe
table,andIsworetherewasacollectivesighofreliefthatthetopichad
movedon.“WiththeAscensionsbeingtiedtoyou,Iwasundertheimpression
thatyouwerewellguardedandkept…”Hetrailedoffasifhesearchedforthe
rightwordtouse.
“Sheltered?”Isuggested.“Caged?Iwas.Forthemostpart,”
Iadded.“Iwasn’tpermittedtotravelfreely,onlyallowedtoleavemyroom
withoneofmyguardsormycompanion,andthatwasonlytoattendclasseswith
thePriestessortowalkthecastlegroundsduringcertaintimes.”
Emilstopped,hiscuphalfwaytohismouth,hisbrows
knittingtogether.Hiseyeswereavibrantgold.“Andtherestofthetime,you
wereexpectedtoremaininyourroom?Evenformeals?”
Inodded.
TheAtlantianlookedstunned,andsomeonemurmuredunder
theirbreath.
“Butyoufoundawaytosneakout.Iimaginethat’s
extremelyriskybehavior.Someonecould’vetakenyouatanytimeduringthose
explorations,”Alastirpointedout.
WhatIfeltfromhimwas…moreguardedthanafewmoments
before,butIstilldidn’tdetecttheacidicburnofangerorhatred.If
anything,hewasmorereservedthenthelasttimewe’dspoken,aswasI.
“Someonedidtakeher.Obviously,”Casteelspokeupthen,
histhumbnowtracingadistractinglyslow,steadycircle.
“Ah,yes,youdidtakeher.”Alastirinclinedhischin.“But
doyoureallyintendtokeepher?”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter12
“Iwouldn’tbemarryingherifIdidn’tplanonkeeping
her.”
Myhearinghadtobefaulty.Keepme?AsifIweresomesort
ofpet?PlacingmyhandoverhisasIfixedasmileonmyface,Idugmynails
intohisflesh.
Casteel’sthumbdidn’tmissasinglesweepalongmyinner
hip.“Ican’thelpmyself.”Hislipsbrushedmycheek,andittookeverything
inmenottoelbowhiminthethroat.“Penellapheintriguedmefromthefirst
momentIspoketoher.”
Intrigued.Thatwordagain.
“Icanseewhy.”Alastirtiltedhishead.“She’sutterly
unique,andmostlikelynotwhatonewouldexpectfromtheMaiden.”
“Sheisuniqueandbrave,intelligentandbeautiful,”
Casteelagreed,apparentlynolongercontenttodrivemeoutofmymindwith
justhisthumb.Hisfingerswereinvolvednow,slidingoutfromhispalmand
thenglidingback.“Andcompletelyunexpected.ButsheisnottheMaiden,
Alastir.”Hischingrazedmyshoulderasheturnedhisheadtothewolven.“And
ifyourefertoherastheMaidenonemoretime,wearegoingtohavea
problem.Understand?”
Thistime,whenmymusclestensed,itwasinresponsetohis
words.
“Understood,”Alastirmurmured.
“Good.”Casteel’schindriftedoverthecurveofmyjawas
hesatback.
Alastirwasquietforamoment,andthenheaddressedthe
men.“Makesurethehorsesarereadyforwhenwechecktheroads.”
Everyoneatthetablerose—everyonebutDelanoandNaill.
ThosetworemainedevenafterAlastirflickedapointedlookintheir
direction.
“IfIcalledthosemenback,theywouldheedmysummons,”Casteel
began,hisfingersstillslidingalongmywaistandhip.“Andthosewhoremain
willonlyleavethistableonceIcommandit.”
AlastirfacedCasteel.“Iknowthis.”
“Gladtohearthat,becauseforamomentthere,Ithought
youmighthaveforgottenwhocommandswhomhere.”
Ashivertiptoeddownmyspine,areminderofwhoselapI
satin.ThiswasnotHawke.HewasthePrinceofakingdom,andhewouldnotbe
disobeyed.
“Ihaven’t,Casteel.Youknowmebetterthanthat.Whichis
whyImustspeakopenly.”
“Thenspeak,”Casteelrepliedquietly,andvisionsofhimslamming
hishandthroughLandell’schestdancedbeforeme.
“Youwishformetodosorightnow?”Alastir’sgazeflicked
tomebriefly.“EvenifwhatIhavetosayissomethingyoumightnotwantto
bespokenatthistime?”
AtinglingsensationsweptovermeasCasteel’sfingers
stilledonmyhip.Foramoment,Ithoughthewouldsendmeaway.“You’dbe
surprisedbywhatPenellaphealreadyknows.”
Alastirliftedhisbrows.
“Heplannedtoransommeinexchangeforhisbrother,”Iannounced,
decidingitsoundedalittlebettercomingfromme.Alastir’seyeswidenedslightly.
“It’snotasecret.Everyoneatthistableknows.”
“Andthathaschanged?”Alastirqueriedsoftly,butneither
CasteelnorIhadachancetoanswerbeforehecontinued.“I’vewatchedyougrow
fromasmallboysittingathismother’ssidetothemanyouaretoday,justas
IwatchedMalik.AndIwisheverydamndaythatIwould’vegottentowatchhim
growintotheKinghewasdestinedtobe.Youtwosacrificeanyonewentunspoken,butit
stilllingeredinthespace.“AndIunderstandthesenseofobligationyou
carrywithinyou.Iunderstandmorethanmostdo,asI’msureyouremember.”
TensioncreptintoCasteel’sbody,andIknewthatAlastir
hadstruckachord.
“Iknowit’snotlikeyou’vesuddenlygivenuponyour
brother,nomatterhowintriguedyoumaybe.”Alastirtippedtowardus,his
voicelow.“Neitheryourmothernoryourfatherwantedyoutoleavewhenyou
did.Theyunderstandwhyyoufeltyouneededto,butyoualsoknowwheretheystand
onthis.”
“Iknowwheretheystand,”Casteelstated,andinstincttold
methatAlastirwasreferringtoPrinceMalik.“Andwheredoyou
stand?”
“WhereIalwayshave,withtheKingdomofAtlantia,”Alastir
answered.“ButIalsowouldneverexpectyoutogiveuponMalik.Iwouldn’tbe
abletoifIwereyou,soIneedtoask.Isthis…engagementanotherployto
gainyourbrother’sfreedom?”
ThefactthatAlastirzeroedrightinonwhatCasteelwas
planningtoldmethathedidknowhimaswellasheclaimed.
Irealizedthenthatitwouldn’tbemewhoneededto
convinceAlastiroftheengagement’sauthenticity.ItwouldhavetobeCasteel.
Andifhecouldn’t?Thenwhat?
“HowdoesmarryingPenellaphehaveanythingtodowithmy
brother?”Casteel’svoicewaslevel.
“That’sagoodquestion.”Alastirleanedback.“Perhapsyou
believethattakingwhattheKingdomofSoliscovetsandputtingherinlineto
betheeventualQueenofAtlantiawillgiveyoubetterbargainingpower.”
ThefactthatAlastirwasyetagainsoonpointwithwhat
Casteelplannedshould’vestunnedme.Itdidn’t.Whattookmebysurprisewas
theeventualQueenofAtlantiapart.
Imight’vetoppledoutofthechairifitweren’tforCasteel’s
armaroundme.ItstruckmethenthatCasteelhadleftaveryimportantpart
outwhenhediscussedourarrangement.
HewastobecomeKing.
Oh,wehadsomuchtotalkabout,itwasn’teven
funny.
“Maybethiswouldputallofusinapositionofbetterbargaining
power,”Casteelremarked.Ibitdownontheinsideofmylip.“Butduringthe
timespentatthecapitalandinMasadonia,I’vecometoacceptthatmybrother
isbeyondmyreach.”
Lie.Thatwassuchalie.ButIsaidnothingbecauseevenI
hadthesensetoremainquiet.
Alastirwassilentforalongmomentandthenheexhaled
heavily.“AsmuchasIhatetosaythis,becauseIlovebothyouandMalikas
ifyouweremysons,Ihopethatistrue.Ifonlyforyoursakeandthesakeof
thekingdom.Itisfarpasttimetoletgo.”
Ireachedoutwithmysensesagain,thistimenot
hesitating.Sincerityechoedthroughtheinvisiblecord,tastinglikewarm
vanilla.
“Itis,”Casteelsaid,andmyabilitystretchedouttoward
him.Theburstofagonywastangy,coatingmyinsides.
Myhanddroppedtohisoutofinstinct,andIonlystopped
myselfatthelastmoment.HewouldknowwhatI’ddone.Islippedmyhandaway,
claspingtheminmylap.
“Whataboutyourobligations?”AlastirmetCasteel’sgazewith
anunflinchingoneofhisown.“Whatwasexpectedofyoubeforeyouleftstill
awaitsyourreturn.”
Casteel’sfingersstartedmovingagain,alongthecurveof
myhip.“Thingschangeallthetime.”
WhathadbeenexpectedofCasteeluponhisreturn?Questions
bubbledtothetipofmytongue,butIheldthemback,figuringthatthesecond
Istartedaskingthemwouldbethemomenttheystoppedtalking.Rightnow,it
wasasiftheyhadforgottenIsatbetweenthem.
“Andthingshavechangedsinceyouleft,Casteel.You’ve
beengoneforovertwoyears,”Alastiradvised,pickinguphiscup.“Thereis
unrestamongourpeople,especiallythewolven.”
“Iknowthat,”CasteelansweredasIglancedatKieran.He
stoodwithahandonthehiltofhissword,butotherthanthat,Iwonderedif
itwerepossibleforsomeonetobeasleepwhilestandingwiththeireyesopen.
Helookedthatbored.“AndIwilldoeverythingIcantoeasethatunrest.”
“Bymarryingsomeonewhoisonlyhalf-Atlantian?An
outsider?”Alastirturnedtome.“AndImeannooffensebythat,Penellaphe.I
sincerelydonot.”
“Nonetaken,”Iadvised.Hewasright.Iwouldbean
outsidertoCasteel’speople.
“Shemayonlybehalf-AtlantianandraisedinSolis,butmy
peoplewillacceptherbecauseIaccepther.”Casteelstatedthisas
iftherewerenootheroption.“Youknow,youwerepartlycorrectwhenyousaid
thatmarryinghergivesusbargainingpower.Itdoes.Withheratmyside,we
haveabetterchanceofgainingbackourland.”
Alastirsatbackinhischair.“Toavoidwar?”
“Yes.Isn’tthatwhatyouwant?Isn’tthatbetterthan
sendingourpeopleofftodiebythethousands?”Casteeldemanded.“Doyouwant
toseemorewolvendie?”
“Ofcourse,not.”Alastirshookhishead.“Iwanttoavoid
war.I’vealreadylostenoughtotheAscended,asyouknow.”
IfeltamomentarilytensinginCasteel’sbody.“Ido.Gods,
Idoknow.”Heexhaledheavily,relaxingabit,andIsensedthattherewas
more,thingsnotbeingsaid.“Thepartyouwereincorrectaboutisassuming
thatmyonlyreasonformarryingPenellapheisforbargainingpower,whether
thatbeformybrotherorthekingdom.IfIdidn’tfeelthewayIdoforher,I
could’vesimplyusedherinthewayIoriginallyplanned.”
Thetruthstung,buttheliesscrapedovermyskinlikehot
knives.Ikeptmyfaceblank,showingnoreaction.
“Thatistrue.”
Alastirdraggedhislowerlipbetweenhisteeth.“Icanonlyhopetheunrestis
manageable.I’vebeentrying,buttheyoungones…theyhaveacertainviewon
howthingsshouldbecarriedout.Andyourfatherhasagreedwiththemmoreand
more.”Alastir’sgazefixedonthecupheheld.“Hehopedthatyourtimein
Soliswouldprovefruitful.Hehaslearnedthatithas.However,hehasplans
now,Casteel.AndheisstilltheKing.”
“Dothoseplansinvolveme?”Therewenttherealizationthat
Ishouldremainquiet.Still,Icouldn’tholdmyselfback.Forfartoomany
years,I’dsatinsilencewhileothersaroundmediscussedme,mylife,andmy
future.
Nomore.
ThelookofsurpriseflickeringacrossAlastir’sexpression
gavewaytoafaintsmile.“Ihaveafeelingthatmanythingsinvolveyounow.”
HisfeaturessoberedashisgazeshiftedtothePrince.“Iwouldliketospeak
toPenellaphe.”
“About?”Casteelqueried.
“Aboutallofthis.Iwanttotalktoheralone,”herequested.
Casteelleanedforward,pressinghischesttomyback.“Why
doyouwantthat?”
“Doyoureallyneedtoaskthatquestion?”Alastirreturned,
hischeeksflushingwiththefirsthintsofgenuineanger.“Youwillneedmy
aidwhenitcomestoconvincingyourfatherandthewolventhatthisisa
worthymarriage—thatthiswillbenefitthekingdom,andthatyoutrulychose
her.Youknowthat.DoyouthinkIwillgoalongwithanyofthatifsheisbeing
forcedintothis?”
Myrespectfortheelderwolvenblewthroughtheroofofthe
keep.
“No,Idonotbelieveyouwillgoalongwithit,”Casteel
answered.“IfPenellaphewishestospeakwithyou,Ihavenoproblem.”
Myheartratekickedup,butwhenAlastirturnedtome,I
nodded.“Iwillspeakwithyou.”
“Perfect.”Alastirgavemeatightsmileasherose.“Come.
Let’swalk.”
Casteel’sarmslippedfromaroundme,andIstood.“Justso
youknow,Penellaphedoesn’tneedprotection.Sheismorethancapableof
handlingthingsherself.Butthatismyfutureyouarewalkingawaywith.Guard
herwell.Yourlifedependsonit.”
“Isittrue?”Alastiraskedaswewalkedthenarrowhallsof
thekeep,myhandtuckedintothecrookofhisarm.Dimlightflickeredfrom
theoilsconces,castingshadowsalongtheunfamiliarstonewalls.“Youcan
defendyourself?Isthatwithorwithoutaweapon?”
“Both,”Ianswered.“Ihavebeentrainedwithadaggeranda
sword,aswellasabow.Ihavealsobeentrainedonhowtofight,
hand-to-hand.”
Surpriseandrespectsettledintohisfeaturesashelooked
downatme.“ThatisnotcommonforthewomenofSolis,andespeciallynotfor
onewhowastheMaiden.”
“It’snot,”Iagreed.“ButIwassohelplesswhenmyparents
died.Iwasachild,butmymotherhadn’tbeenabletofightback.Ifshecould
have,shemight’vesurvived.Ijust…Ididn’twanttobehelplesslikethat
again,andsomanypeople,especiallywomen,neverhavetheopportunitytolearn
howtoprotectthemselves.Theyhavetorelyonothers—ontheAscended—andI…I’m
beginningtorealizethatfurtherstrengthenstheabsolutecontroltheAscended
have.”
“Buttheyallowedyoutolearnhowtofight?”
ImaginingtheDuchess’sorDuke’sreactiontosuchnews,I
laughedsoftly.“No.Myguardianswould’vehadanabsolutefit.But,honestly,
Ialwaysthought…”
“Thoughtwhat?”heproddedwhenItrailedoff.
Iwasn’tsureifIshouldsharethis,butsomethingabout
Alastirputmeatease,andmaybethatsomethingwashowmuchheremindedmeof
Vikter.“IalwaysthoughtQueenIleanawould’veapprovedifshe’dlearnedthat
Icouldfight.Idon’tknowwhyIbelievethat.It’sjustthat…theQueenI
knew—”
“Isn’ttheQueenothersknow,”hesupplied,andInodded.
“Peoplehavemanydifferentsidestothem.EventheAscended.Howdidyoulearn
tofight?”
“Oneofmypersonalguardstaughtmeinsecret.Hisnamewas
Vikter.”AknotlodgedinmythroatandstayedthereasItoldAlastirabout
himandtheriskshetook.“Hewaslikeafathertome,andI…gods,Imisshim
somuch.”
AlastirhadstoppedwalkingasIspokeofVikter,buthe
stillheldmyarm.“Hesoundslikeanamazingman.”
“Hewas,andI—”Iblinkedbackthehotrushoftears.“He
shouldbealivetoday.”
Hisgazesearchedmineashesaid,“Andhediedatthehands
ofDescenterswhowerefollowingPrinceCasteel’slead?Howwereyouableto
movepastthat?”
How?Mystomachdipped.Ihadn’tmovedpastthat.
“Idon’tthinkIwillevergetoverthat.”
“Andyetyou’vefalleninlovewithCasteel?Hemaynothave
heldthesword—”
“Buttheykilledinhisname,”Ifinishedforhim.“Iknow.
Casteelknowsthat.Heknowsthatheisresponsible,andIknowhelosessleep
overit.”MymouthdriedasIsaid,“Ithasn’tbeeneasy,butwhatIfeelfor
himhasnothingtodowithVikter.”Thelierolledoffmytonguesmoothly
enough.Maybetooeasily.Myheartlurchedaswindbeatatanearbywindow.
“NothingaboutCasteelandIhasbeeneasy.Ithoughthewassomeoneelse
entirelywhenwefirstmet,butIstartedfallingforhimeventhen.”Andgods,
thatwasthetruth.“Andso,hereweare.”
“Yes,hereweare.”Alastirgaveaclose-lippedsmileashe
shiftedmyarmsohishandheldmine.“I’veknownCasteelsincebirth,aswell
ashisbrother.Iknewhisfatherbeforethen,andhismotherevenlongerthan
that.IrememberwhentheQueenwasmarriedtoadifferentKing,”hesaid
quietly,andthatalonetoldmethathewasfarolderthanIanticipated.
“Casteelislikeasontome.Inreality,hewould’vebeenasonofmineif
fatehadplayedoutdifferently.”
Wouldhavebeenasonofmine?“Whatdoyoumean?”
Theskinathiseyescreasedasmygiftsuddenlypressed
againstmyskin,respondingtothesuddenshiftinhisemotions.Anagonyso
potentandrawthatitreachedouttome.Iopenedmyself,unabletostopit,
andimmediatelytensedattheturmoilrollingthroughhim,thuspassingtome.
Hisgriefcutsodeeply,itmadeithardtobreathe.Istartedtousemygiftdifferently,
tolessenthepain.
“DidyouknowthatCasteelhasbeeninlovebefore?”
Hisquestionthrewme,causingmetodroptheconnection
withhim.Eventhen,thetangybitternessofsorrowstillfilledthebackofmy
throat.“Yes,Iknowthat.”
AndthatwasallIknew.Thathehadbeeninlove.
“Didhetellyouthathewasonceengaged?”
Wordsleftme.Ishookmyhead.
Asmall,sadsmileappeared.“I’mnotsurprisedtohear
that.Hedoesn’ttalkaboutheroften.NomatterhowmuchI’vetriedinthepast.
Andtobehonest,Ican’trememberthelasttimeheevensaidhername.Ican’t
blamehimforthat,andneithershouldyou.Sheisawoundthathashealed,but
stillawoundnonetheless.Hewouldbe…”Helookeddownthehall,hisshoulders
tensingandthenloosening.“HewouldbeveryupsetwithmetoknowthatI
spokeofSheawithyou.And,truthfully,Iamoversteppinghere.Butyouneed
toknowwhyIwassosurprisedtolearnofyourengagement.Ihonestlydidn’t
thinkCasteelwouldeverallowhimselftofeellikethatagain.”Hisgazemet
mine.“AndyouneedtoknowwhyIhopehismotivationsforthismarriageare
trueandrootedinhisheartandnotasadesperatebidtofindhisbrother.”
Ididn’tknowwhichpartofwhathe’dsharedwasthemostshocking.
ThatCasteelhadbeenengaged—toawolven—thathe’dbeeninlovewithsomeone
whowassoobviouslynolongeralive,orthatAlastirwantedthemarriagebetween
ustobereal.
Iclearedmythroat.“Sheawasyourdaughter?”
Alastirnodded.“Shewas.Andit’sstrange,Ibarelyknow
you,butyouremindmeofher.Shetoooftenspokehermind,muchtotheireof
everyonearoundher.Andshewascapableofdefendingherselfwhenneeded.”He
laughedalittle.“Iwouldguessthatisoneofthethingsthathasdrawn
Casteeltoyou.Thatallowedhimtoseebeyondtheveil,sotospeak.”
Ididn’tknowwhattothinkofanyofthat.“Whendid
she…die?How?”
“Itwasquitesometimeago,manyyearsbeforeyouwere
born.”HiswordswereyetanotherreminderofhowmanyyearsofexperienceCasteel
had.“Sheismydaughter,butherdeathisnotmystorytoshare.That’s
Casteel’s.”Hisgazemetandheldmine.“AndIdohopeitisonethathe’llone
daysharewithyou.”
I’dbelievedthatthesourceofCasteel’sgriefhadstemmed
fromhisbrother’scapture,butI’dalreadydiscoveredthatsomeofitwasfrom
whathadbeendonetohim.AndnowIwonderedjusthowmuchofitwastiedto
thisman’sdaughter.
“I’msorrytohearaboutyourchild,”Isaid,meaningit.
“AndIwon’tsayanything.”
“Idon’tmindifyoudo.Tobefrank,Ihopehedoestalkto
you—talkstosomeoneabouther.”
Iwasthelastpersonwhoshouldbespeakingtohimabout
Shea.“Whyareyoutellingmethis,though?Itdoesn’tsoundlikeit’s
somethingIshouldbringupwithhim.”
“It’snot.Atleast,notnow.Ihopethathewillopenup
andtalktosomeoneoneday,evenifit’snotme.ThereasonI’mtellingyou
thisisbecauseSheawasnodamsel.Icanseethatyouaren’teither.ButI
hopeyouarenotsomuchlikeherthatyoudon’taskforhelporrefuseitwhen
youneedit.”Hepattedmyhand.“Iwillforeverbeloyaltomykingdom,tothe
gods,andtotheDa’Neers,butevenifIneverhadadaughter,Icouldnot
standbyandwatchayoungwomanbeusedagainstherwillinsuchaway.Waris
cruel.Therearecasualties.Butthiswouldbeunnecessarilycruel,andIwill
notstandforit.”
Myheartwaspoundingagain.Couldhesensethat?
“Casteelhasbeendeterminedtofindhisbrotherfor
decades,Penellaphe.Enoughtimetofillamortal’slifespan.AndwhileIhope
hehasfinallymovedon,thathewillassumetherolehiskingdomdesperately
needs,mostimportantly,Iwishthatheisfinallyallowinghimselftolive.I
wanttobelievethat.Yet,Idon’t.”
Itensed.
Alastir’sgazemetmine.“So,thatiswhyI’mofferingyou
myaid.Ifyouarebeingforcedintothis,Iwillhelpyouescape.Iwilldo
everythinginmypowertoensuresafepassage.NottosendyoubacktoSolis.I
willnothandyouovertothosewhoseektoabuseyouinadifferentway.ButI
willmakesureyouaresomewhereneithertheAscendednorCasteelcanever
reachyou.Allyouhavetodoistellme,andthiswillbeoverforyou.”
ThebreathItookwentnowhereasIprocessedhiswords—his
offer.Itwasfreedom.ThesameasCasteeloffered,butwithoutthestringsof
marriageandallthepretendingandtherisksinvolved.AndIbelievedthesincerity
ofhisoffer.Thismanwho’djustmetmewouldrisktheireofhisPrince,
possiblyevenconsequencesthatextendedfarbeyondanger,tohelpagirlhe
barelyknew.Allbecausehewas…
Becausehewasagoodman.
AnditwassomethingIcouldseeVikterdoing.Itwas
somethingIknewVikterhadwishedthathecould’vedoneonceherealizedhow
muchbeingtheMaidenwaskillingme,bitbybit,eachandeveryday.
Tearsburnedthebacksofmyeyesoncemore
“Deargods,”Alastiruttered.“Ithinkthethreatoftears
tellsmeeverythingIneedtoknow.I’msorry—”
“No.It’snotthat.”Isqueezedhishand.“It’sjustthatyour
offerisunexpected.You’reagoodpersonand—andtherearesofewgoodpeople.
It’ssomethingIthinkVikterwould’vedone,anditjustmademethinkofhim.”
“Andthat’sall?”Hewatchedmeclosely,placinghisother
handovermine.
“Yes,”Isaid,holdinghisgaze.“Iappreciateyouroffer.I
appreciatewhatyouarewillingtodoforme.Buthe’snotusingme.Notlike
that.”
“Youdon’tneedmyhelp,then?”
“Idon’t.Iswear.”
AndIdidn’t.Notnow.
Ifhe’dcometomeadaybefore,myanswerprobablywould’ve
beendifferent.Iwould’vesaidyes.Iwould’verun.Buthecouldn’tgiveme
whatCasteelcould.Ian.AndIcouldn’twalkawaynow,knowingthatIcould
helpchangethingsforthepeopleofSolis.ThefreedomAlastirofferedwasn’t
thekindIneeded.
Alastirsighed,andIcouldtellthathethoughtIwas
makingafoolishchoice.Maybethatmeanthedidn’tbelieveCasteel.Itcould
meanhefeltbadformebecausehebelievedme.Ididn’tknow.
“Ifyoueverchangeyourmind,”hesaid,hiseyessad,“you
onlyneedtotellme.Canyoupromisemethat?”
Ireallyfeltlikecryingnow.“Icanpromisethat.”
“Good.”Hesmiled,andI…
Ididn’tevenknowwhatIwasdoinguntilIsprangforward
andthrewmyarmsaroundAlastir.Ihuggedhim.Thegesturestunnedtheman.
Foramoment,hedidn’tmove,butthenheputhisarmsaroundme.
“Sorry,”Imumbled,pullingaway.Myfacewashot.
Hesmiledthen,onethatcrinkledtheskinatthecornersof
hiseyes.“Youneverneedtoapologizeforahug,Penellaphe.It’sbeenfartoo
longsinceI’vehadone,tobehonest.NeitherCasteelnorKieranisthe
huggingtype.”
Ilaughedhoarsely.“IthinkifItriedtohugKieran,he’d
passout.”
“Mostlikely.Well,IthinkIknowallthatIneedto,”he
said,yethestillsoundedsad.Ithoughttheemotionwaseitherforhisdaughter,
forCasteel,orevenpossiblyforme.“Ishouldprobablygetyoubacktothe
Prince.”
Istartedtoturnbutstopped.Ididn’tknowwhenwe’dgeta
chancetospeakprivatelyagain.“MayIaskyousomething?”WhenAlastir
nodded,Isaid,“YouusedtohelpmoveAtlantiansortheirdescendantsfrom
Solis?”
“Idid.”
“Iwasthinkingaboutmyparents—aboutwhytheyleftthe
capital.It’spossiblethattheyknewwhattheAscendedplannedorlearnedthat
theyweredescendantsthemselves.Atleastoneofthem.Werethereotherswho
didwhatyoudid?”
“Therewereothers.Notmany.Andsadly,mostneverreturned
home.”Hestrokedhischinwithhisthumb.“Weassumetheywerecaptured,so
therearen’tmanyyoucouldspeakwith.”
Ihadn’tevendaredtohopethattherewasanyoneIcould
talkto.“Iwasjustwonderingifitwaspossibleformyparentstohaveknown
thatsomeonelikeyouexisted.”
“Ofcourse,itwas.TheKingandQueenknewthatwewere
activelysearchingforourpeople,”heconfirmed.“It’spossibleoneofyour
parentslearnedofusfromanAscended.”Hisheadcocked.“So,youthinkthat
iswhathappened?”
“Idon’tknow,”Iadmitted,runningahandoverwheretheknife
wassheathedtomythigh.“Idon’tremembermuchaboutthenightIwasattacked,
butIdorememberthatmyfatherwasquieterthanusualduringthetrip.Sowas
mymother.Theyseemednervousinsteadofexcitedaboutstartinganewlifein
aquieterplace.AndI…Ithinkmyfathermetwithsomeone.Ivaguelyremember
therebeinganotherpersonthere.”
“Butyourmemoriesaren’tclearenough.”WhenIshookmyhead,
hesaid,“That’sfairlycommonaftersuchatrauma.”
Itwas.OrsoI’dbeentold.
“Afterthewar,manysurvivorsclaimedtohaveforgotten
entirebattlestheyfought.Theemotionsandthescarswerestillthere,but
thedetailswerenothingbutshadows,”heexplained.“ThesamewithCasteel.He
remembersverylittleofhistimeincaptivity.”
Thatwasn’ttrue.Heremembereditall,oratleastenough
tonothavetosearchtheshadowsfordetails,butIdidn’tsaythat.Iwas
surprisedthathe’dsharedenoughformetoknowthatherememberedandhadnot
toldAlastir.
“Ihavedreams.Sometimestheyrevealalittlemore.Like
openingachestandlettingmoreofthenightout.ButIdon’tknowifthose
memoriesarerealornot.Thenewones,thatis,”Isaid.“Anyway,Idon’tknow
ifitmatters.Ijustwanttoknow.”
“Wantingtoknowisunderstandable.Iunderstand.”Hisfeatures
tightenedforamoment,andthentheysmoothedout.“Mostofthosewhoknewto
lookforususedfalselastnames.Whatwereyourparents’firstnames?”
Iexhaledheavily.“CoralenaandLeopold.CoraandLeo,”I
said,staringatthelamp,tryingtorememberwhatmyfatherlookedlike.The
memoriesofhimhadfaded.“That’swhattheycalledeachother.”
“Coralena,”Alastirsaidafteramoment,clearinghis
throat.Ilookedathim,buthetoowasstaringatthelamp.“That’sabeautiful
name.Oneuniqueenoughthatiftheyusedtheirrealfirstnames,itwouldberemembered.
WhenwearriveinAtlantia,I’llaskthosewhoarestillwithusiftheyrecall
everspeakingwithoraboutonewiththatname.It’salongshot,butyounever
know.Theworld,nomatterhowbig,isoftensmallerthanwerealize.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter13
AlastirledmetoaroomI’dneverbeeninbeforeonthe
othersideofthekeepfromthebanquethall.IknewCasteelwaslikelyinside,
simplygiventhatthedoorswereguarded.Themomentthedoorsswungopen,the
mustyscentthathitmesparkedjoyinmyheart.
Books.
Rowsandrowsofbooks.
Iwalkedforwardinadaze,barelyawareofAlastir
speaking,andcompletelyunawareofanythingelsebutthepossibilitiesawaiting
behindthethickandnarrow,multicoloredspines.Imovedforwardasif
compelled—
Anarmsnaggedmearoundthewaist.Iswallowedasqueakof
surpriseasIwaspulleddown.Forthesecondtime,IfoundmyselfinCasteel’s
lap.
Sofocusedonthebooks,Ihadn’tevenseenhimsittingon
thesetteeI’dwalkedpast.Itwistedtowardhim,ignoringthejumpinmypulse
asheavy,hooded,ambereyesmetmine.“Wasthatnecessary?”
“Always,”hereplied,hisarmsloosearoundmeasseveral
menfiledoutoftheroom,theirgazestrainedforwardasiftheydidn’tdare
lookinmydirection.
Thedoorclickedshut,leavingonlyKieranbehind,sitting
inanarmchairwithhisfeetproppeduponacedarchest.Istartedtopull
freeofCasteel.Ididn’tmakeitveryfar.
Hisarmstightened.“HowwasyourtalkwithAlastir?”
“Itwasokay,”Isaid,immediatelythinkingofthewoman
Casteelhadbeenengagedto.Shea.Iwantedtoaskabouther.Iwantedtoknow
what’dhappened.Iwantedtoknowwhyhe’dnevermentionedher,eventhoughI
understoodtherehadbeennoreasonforhimtobringherupwithme.We’doncebeen
friends.OratleastI’dbelievedso.ThoughthatwasalsowhenI’dthoughtwe
couldbemore.ButthatwasbeforeIlearnedthetruth.Andeventhoughwe’dentered
intothisarrangement,Iwasn’t…well,Iwasn’timportanttohimintheway
wherehewouldsharesecrets.
Butisthattrue?Avoicewhisperedinthebackof
mymind.Casteelhadsharedwithmewhathadbeendonetohimwhilehe’dbeen
theAscended’sprisoner.Hehadn’topenedupwithAlastir,thefatherofhis
oncefiancée.What,ifanything,didthatmean?Eitherway,discussingthe
womanhe’donceplannedtomarryfornootherreasonbutthathelovedherfelt
too…intimate.Likeitwassomethingtrueloverswoulddo.
Andthatwasnotus.
Alastirwouldhavetopinhishopesonsomeoneelse.
“Justokay?”Onedarkbrowrose.
AninexplicableheavinesssettledinmychestasInodded.
“Heshouldbemoredetailedinhisquestioning,”Kieran
commented.“ShouldwebeworriedthatAlastirisgoingtoattempttowhiskyou
off?”
Ishothimanarchlook.“Whywouldyouthinkthat?”
“BecausewebothknowwhatkindofmanAlastiris,”Casteel
said,drawingmyattentionbacktohim.“He’sprobablyworriedthatyou’re
beingforcedintothismarriageandlikelyofferedyouhisaidinescape.”
“Youofferedmeachoicelastnight.IfIdidn’tagreeto
themarriage,youwouldn’tforceme.Wecametoanagreement,”Iremindedhim.
“IfIacceptedAlastir’soffer,wouldIbesittinghere?”
“Isupposenot.”Hewatchedmethroughhalf-loweredlashes.
“Or,youcouldbewaitingforwhenIleastexpectit.Thoughjustsoyouknow,
Ialwaysexpectyoutodotheunexpected.”
Mybrowsknitted.“Yousoundparanoid.”
“AsifIdon’thaveareason?”
“I’moffendedthatyouthinkI’dgobackonmyword.I
agreed,YourHighness.”IsmiledwhenIsawhisjawflex.
“Alastirdidofferhisaid.Iturneditdown.”
Amomentpassed.“ThenIapologizeforbeingparanoid,
Princess.”
Isnorted.“Sure,youdo.”
“NowI’moffendedthatyoudoubtmysincerity.”
Irolledmyeyes.“Idohavequestionsforyou.Onesmore
importantthanwhatAlastirandIdiscussed.”
“Youhavequestions?”MocksurprisefilledKieran’stone.
“I’mutterlyshocked.”
“I’manopenbook,”Casteelreplied.“Whatwouldyouliketo
know?”
Anopenbook?Unlikely.“Whatplansdoesyourfatherhave?”
Casteelleanedintothecream-huedsettee,looking
impossiblyatease.“Myfatherhasmanyplans,Poppy.”Hisgazedriftedovermy
face.Inthebackofmymind,Irealizedthathehadn’toncecalledmePoppy
whileinfrontofAlastir.“Butiftheyincludeyou,thoseplanswillswiftly
becomenothingbutfigmentsoftheimagination.”
“ItsoundedlikeIwaswhatmadeyouractivities
fruitful.”
“Don’tworryaboutmyfather,”Casteelsaid,liftinghis
handfrommyhip.Hedrewhisthumbacrossmylowerlip,causinganunwanted
flutterinmychest.“Hehasbiggerconcernsrightnowthanyou.”
MyeyesnarrowedasIcaughthiswrist.“Likethelackof
landissue?”Ipulledhishandaway.
Hiseyesdeepenedtoawarmamber.“I’msurethatistaking
upmuchofhistime,buthewon’triskdamaginghisrelationshipwithmeto
takeanyactionagainstyou.”
Iwantedtobelievethat.GettingbacktoIandependedonme
stayingaliveandinonepiece.BeingapartoftheKing’splanprobably
wouldn’tbodewellformeremainingwholeandhearty.
Especiallygiventhattheschemeprobablyincludedsending
mebacktothecapitalofSolisinpieces.
“Ithinkyouforgottotellmesomething,”Itoldhim.
Hisbrowsrose.“I’mgoingtoneedmoredetailthanthat.”
“Why?Becausethere’salotofthingsyouhaven’ttoldme?”
“Amanmusthavehissecrets.Isn’tthatpartoftheallure?”
Strugglingforpatience,Itriedtocounttoten.Imadeit
tothree.“Yoursecretsaretheexactoppositeofalluring.Iftherewasan
anti-allurepotion,itwouldbeexactlythat.”
“Damn,”hemurmured,eyesgleaming.
“AreyouexpectedtobecomeKinguponyourreturn?”I
demanded.“Isthatwhat’sexpectedofyou?”
Theamusementfadedfromhiseyes.“Oneofthem.AKingand
QueencanonlyruleAtlantiaforfourhundredyears.It’sdesignedthatwayso
changecanoccur.Ifachildoftheirsdoesn’tassumethethrone,thenanyone
cancomeforwardandchallengeforit.Myparents’reignhasextendedbeyond
thetimeframe.Andbecausetheydon’tbelieveMalikwillreturn,theyfeelit
istimeformetotakeontherole.”
“Hasanyonechallengedthethrone?”
“AsfarasIknow,no.”
Buthowwouldheknowsincehehadn’tbeenhomeinyears?“Did
younotthinkitwouldbeagoodideatotellme?”
“Notparticularly.”
“Oh,mygods,”I
started.
“MainlybecauseIknewitwouldfreakyouout,”headded.
“Likerightnow,”Kieranmurmured.
“Nooneaskedforyourtwocents,”Isnapped,andthewolven
chuckled.IturnedmyglarebackonCasteel.“Whetherornotitwouldfreakmeout,
Ineededtoknowthat—”
“Itchangesnothing,”hecutin.“Justbecausemyparents
believeitistimeformetotakethethronedoesn’tmeanIhavetoorwill.
Theycannotforceme.MybrotheristhetrueheirtotheAtlantianthrone.Not
me.AndhewilltakehisseatonceIfreehim.”
Pressingmylipstogether,IglancedatKierantogaugehisreaction
towhatCasteelhadsaid,buthestaredstraightahead,hisexpressionunreadable.
Idoubtedmysenseswouldtellmeanythingmore,butIknewthatCasteelfully
intendedtosavehisbrother.Hedidn’twanttobeKing,evenifitwaspast
thetimeforanewonetobecrowned.Withthatsaid,becomingQueenwasnot
somethingIhadtoworryabout.Istartedtostand.
Casteel’sarm
tightened.“Whereareyougoing?Iwassoverycomfortablewithyouinmylap.”
“I’msureyouwere,butthere’snoaudience.”
“Whataboutme?”Kieranasked.“I’mstillhere.”
“Youdon’tcount.”
“Ouch,”hemurmured.
“Butwe’renotinprivate,Princess.Wasn’tthatthedeal
youmade?Inpublic,youwouldn’tfightme?”
Myeyesnarrowed.“Thereisnooneelseinthisroom.The
doorsareclosed,andthedealwemadedidn’tincludesittinginyourlap.”
“Iknow.”Hesuckedhisplumplowerlipbetweenhisteeth,
exposingtheedgesofhisfangs.“ButIreallyenjoyit.”
Musclescurledlowinmystomach,andIreallydidn’tcare
forhowmybodyrespondedtohisheatedstare,andtheglimpseofthosefangs.
ItansweredwithaheadyflushthatIcouldonlyhopewasn’tasvisibleasit
felt.Italsocalledforthasharp,intensethrobbingthatsettledinanarea
thatmademewanttosqueezemylegstogether.AndIreallyhatedtheknowledge
thatheknewexactlyhowIrespondedtohim.Iletgoofhiswrist.“Idon’t
careifyouenjoyit.”
“Lies,”hemurmured,tuckingbackmyhair.“Youenjoyedit,
too.”
“ButdoyouknowwhatIenjoyedmore?”Ileanedin,seeing
thesurpriseflareinhiseyesthatquicklygavewaytoheat.
Thatlazy,half-hoodedgazereturned.“Ihaveafewideas.”
“Ienjoyedthrowingtheknifeatyouandmakingyoubleed,”
Isaid,jerkingmyheadbackfromhistouch.ThistimewhenIstood,hedidn’t
stopme.
Casteellaughed,loweringhishandtothearmofthechair.
“Thatwasoneofmyideas.”
“Youtwoaremoreconvincingnowthanyouwereduringthe
wholetimewithAlastir,”Kierancommented.“Andifyoucan’tconvinceAlastir
thatyou’resoinlovewitheachotherthathe’sforgottenhisdecades-longsearch
forhisbrother,andyouhaveforgivenhisplanstoransomyou,thenthereis
nowayyou’llconvincetheKing.Andespeciallynotyourmother.”
Unfortunately,Kieranhadapoint.“Alastirdoesn’tbelieve
us.Hedidn’tsaythatoutright,butIcouldthattellhehasseriousdoubts.
HeprobablythinksI’minfatuatedwithyou,andyou’rejustusingme.”
AslowgrinspreadacrossCasteel’sface,barelyhalting
whenhesawthelookIgavehim.Hiseyesstillglimmered.“We’lljusthaveto
tryharderthen,won’twe?”
Ifoldedmyarms.“HowcananyonereallybelieveuswhenI
askedifyouwereoutofyourmindjustafewnightsago?”
“Alotcanhappeninafewnights,Poppy.Especiallywith
me.”
“Yourarroganceneverceasestoamazeme,”Imuttered.
Casteelignoredthat.“Ithinkhewillbelieveus.Wehave
timetoconvincehim,butnowI’msureIneedtoreassurehimbeforeheleaves
tochecktheroads.”Casteelrose.
“Reassurehimofwhat?”
“Hecanbe…sensitive.Therefore,Ineedtoreassurehimthat
Iwon’thavehimkilledbeforeweleavehere,”hereplied,andIcouldn’ttell
ifhewasbeingseriousornot.“Wouldyouliketostayinhereforawhile?
There’salotofbooks.NoneasinterestingasMissWilla’sdiary,though.”
Thatdamndiary.
“Iwouldliketostayhere,”Isaid.
CasteelglancedatKieran,whosaid,“I’llkeepaneyeon
her.”
“DoyouallreallythinkI’minthatmuchdanger?Wordof
ourengagementmusthavespreadthroughthekeepbynow.”
“I’mnottakinganychanceswithyou.”Casteelmovedforward,
touchingmycheekjustbelowthescar.“Thankyou.”
“Forwhat?”Thetouchofhisfingertipswaslight,buta
shiverstillrolledthroughme.
“Forchoosingme.”
Ispenttherestofthedayinthelibrary,takingalate
lunchofsoupbythecracklingfireplaceasIthumbedthroughthedustypages
ofshorttalesmeantforchildren,andoldrecordsofthosewho’doncelivedin
NewHaven.AsImovedfromrowtorow,Ididn’tthinkaboutwhatAlastirhad
toldmeorwhatawaitedmeonceweleftthekeep.Ilostmyselftothefreedom
ofbeingabletoreadanybookIwanted.WhatI’dbeenallowedtoreadin
Masadoniahadbeenrestrictedtohistoricaltexts,andwhileTawnyoftensnuck
farmoreinterestingnovelsformetoenjoy,itwasneverenough.
Kieranwasaquietpresenceintheroom,havingpickedup
oneofthebooksI’ddiscarded.Isuspectedthathewaspleasedwithhistask,
onlybecauseIwastoobusytoaskhimanyquestions.
Itwasn’tuntilafterI’dfinishedthebowlofstewedvegetables
andscouredalltheshelves,exceptforthebottomrowbehindalargeoakdesk,
thatIfoundatextofparticularinterest.Itwasathinnovel,boundin
gold-dyedleather,halfwayhiddenbehindthenumerous,thickrecords,thegold
smotheredindirt.Ipulleditout,coughingasacloudofdustplumed.
“Pleasedon’tdie,”Kierancommentedfromwherehesat.
“Casteelwouldbemostdispleased.”
Ignoringhim,IwipedoffthecoverasIcarriedthebookto
thedesk.Icrackeditopen,flippingthroughblankparchmentfadedtoadull
yellow.IstoppedwhenIsawthedate.Thegold-boundbookwasanothersetof
records,butonefarolderthantherest.Itwasdatedatleasteighthundred
yearsago.
Turningthepages,Ireadthroughbirthanddeathdates,occupations
andhousenumbers,quicklynotingthattheserecordswereverydifferent.The
spanofyearsbetweenthedatesofbirthanddeathcaughtmyattention.
Hundredsofyears.
ThesewererecordsoftheAtlantianswho’doncelivedinNew
Haven.ThewornarmchaircreakedasIsatinit.Manyofthenameswere
illegible,theinktoofaded,aswereoccupations.Somewereeasierto
decipher.Baker.StableMaster.Blacksmith.Healer.Scholar.Itwasstrangeto
seethesecommonskillslistedbesidedatesthatsuggestedthey’dlivedtenor
moremortallifespans.ButIsupposedthatwhenAtlantiaruledoverthe
kingdom,manyofthemlivedveryordinarylonglives.Therewereoccupations
andwordsunfamiliartome,onesIsawrepeatedunderthecolumnthatlisted
jobs,andwordsofteninparenthesesnearthenamesthatIcouldread.
“Whatisawivern?”Iasked,unsureifI’dpronouncedit
correctly.
“What?”Kieranlookedupfromthebookthatrestedinhis
lap.
“IfoundrecordsfromwhenAtlantianslivedhere,”Itold
him.“Thewordwivernappearsfrequently.”
Kierandrewhislegsoffthechestandrose,placinghis
bookwherehisfeetwere.Hecametostandbymyshoulder.“Where?”
“See?”Itappedafingerbelowthefadedblackink.“There
arewordsIdon’trecognize.Likehere.”Idrewmyfingerdown.“Ceeren.”
“Hell.”Kieranleanedforward,turningthepagesbacktothe
titlepage.“It’sAtlantianrecords.”
Iarchedabrow.“That’swhatIsaid.”
“I’msurprisedthisremainedherealltheseyears.”He
flippedbacktothepageI’dbeenlookingat.
“Itwasbehindacoupleofotherrecordsandcoveredin
dust.Itmust’vebeenforgotten.”
“Definitelyforgotten.TheAscendeddestroyedanyandall
recordsoftheAtlantianswhooncelivedhere.Nomatterhowinconsequentialas
acensus.”
“So,whatdoeswivernmean?”
“AwivernwasanAtlantianbloodlinethatwaskilledoff
duringthewar,”heexplained.“Theytoowereoftwoworlds,mortaland
animal.”
“Likethewolvenandchangelings?”
Henodded.“Exceptthewiverncouldtaketheformofcats
largerthanthosethatroamthecavesintheWastelands.Here.Draken?”Hisarm
brushedmineashemovedclosertopointoutaplacefartherdownthepage.
AirhissedoutofKieran’sclenchedteethashejerkedback
hisarm.Iturned,findinghimstandingseveralfeetfromme.
Iliftedmybrows,thinkingthatwasabitofan
overreactiontohisarmtouchingmine.“Youokay?”
Hestaredatme,eyeswiderthanI’deverseenbefore,but
brightinanunnaturalway.“Youdidn’tfeelthat?”
“Youtouchedmyarm.That’sallIfelt.”Iwatchedhimrub
hisarm.“Whatdidyoufeel?”
“Ashock,”hesaid.“Likebeingstruckbylightning.”
“Haveyou’vebeenstruckbylightningbefore?”
“No.It’safigureofspeech.”Heglancedatthedoorbefore
thosetoo-brighteyessettledonme.“Youreallydidn’tfeelthat?”
Ishookmyhead.“Maybeitwaslikethatstaticchargeyou
getwhendraggingyourfeetoverthecarpet.”Afaintsmiletuggedatmylips.
“IusedtodothatallthetimetoIan.”
“Whydoesn’tthatsurpriseme.”Kieranloweredhishand.“The
Princeiscoming.”
Iopenedmymouth,butthedooropenedaheartbeatlater.
WasKieran’shearingthatgood?
Casteelstrodein,hishairsweptbackfromhisface,andit
waslikealltheairhadbeensuckedout,andthelibrarysuddenlybecamethree
sizessmaller.Itwassimplyhim,hismerepresenceimmediatelytakingoverthe
space.
HeglancedbetweenKieranandme.“Youtwolooklikeyou’re
havingfun.”
BasedonthewayKieranstilllookedasifhe’dseenaspirit,
Idoubtedit.
“IfoundabookofrecordsfromwhentheAtlantianslived
here.”Ipickedupthebook.
“Soundsrealfun,”Casteeldrawled.
“Perfecttiming.”Kieran’sexpressionsmoothedout.“Your
fiancéehasquestions.”
Thewayhesaidthewordfiancéemademewantto
throwthebookathishead.
“PerhapsIhaveanswers.”Casteelleanedagainstthedesk.
“And,yes,beforeyouask,you’refreetodoasyouplease.”
“Thankthegods,”Kieranmuttered,peelinghimselfawayfrom
thebuilt-inbookshelves.Hestartedtowardthedoor.“Isallgoodwith
Alastir?”
Casteelnodded.“Heandseveralofthemenlefttocheckthe
roads.”
“Good.”Kieran
turned.“Havefun.”
Iwatchedhimclosethedoor.“He’sactingweird.”
“Isthatso?”
“Hegotastaticshockfromhisarmbrushingmine,andhe
behavedasifI’ddoneitonpurpose.”
“Youknowhowsomeelectricalwiringcanshortout?Emit
sparksorchargesofenergy?”WhenInodded,hesaid,“Wolvencanlosecontrol
overtheirformsiftheycomeintocontactwithelectricity,evenatharmless
levels.Sometimes,duringaparticularlybadlightningstorm,theyareoften
affectedbyit.”
“Oh.Well,then.”Ipaused.“He’sstillweird.”
Casteellaughed,andthesoundwasdeepandrealandnice.
“So,whatdidyouhavequestionsabout?”
IlookedupathimandwishedIhadn’t.Thewordshespoke
beforeleavingtospeakwithAlastircamebacktome.Thankyoufor
choosingme.Ididn’tchoosehim,though.Notreally.
Stomachflutteringnonetheless,Idraggedmyattentionback
tothebook.“IfoundthesewordsIdidn’tunderstand.Kieranwasjustexplaining
thatthewiverncouldshiftintolargecats,andhewasabouttotellmewhata
drakenis.”
“Ah,thisisanoldbook.”Heleanedover,scanning
thepages.Thescentofwoodsmokemixedwithhisscent.“Adrakenwasa
powerfulbloodline,oneabletosproutwingsaswideasahorse,andtalonsas
sharpasablade.Theycouldfly.Somecouldevenbreathefire.”
Mychinsnappedup,andIstaredathim.“Like…likeadragon?”
Casteelnodded.
“Ithoughtdragonsweremyths.”Irememberedreadingstories
abouttheminthebooksI’dborrowedfromthecity’slibrary.Someevenhad
drawingsofthefrighteningbeasts.
“Everymythisrootedinsomefact,”heanswered.
“Ifthereweredrakenwhocouldflyandbreathefire,howin
theworldcouldtheAscendedevengaintheupperhandagainstAtlantia?”I
asked.
“Becausethedrakenwerebasicallygonebeforethefirst
vamprywasevenmade.”Hepickedupastrandofmyhairandstartedtotwistit
aroundhisfinger.“Iftheyhadbeenthere,nothingwouldremainofthe
Ascendedbutscorchedearth.”
Ishivered.“Whatdoyoumeanbybasicallygone.”
“Well,myverycuriousPrincess,legendsstatethatmanyof
thedrakendidn’tdie.Thattheyslumberwiththegodsorprotecttheirresting
places.”
“Arethelegendstrue?”
Heunraveledthestrandofhair.“That,Icannotanswer.
I’veneverseenadraken,whichisashame.Wouldhavelovedtoseeone.”
“SowouldI,”Iadmitted,imaginingthatadrakenwouldbea
fiercebutmajesticsight.
Casteelwaslookingoverthepageashespunmyhairaround
hisfingeroncemore.“Theceerenwerehere?Huh.Iwouldn’thaveguessed
that.”
“Why?”Isnatchedawaymyhair,pullingitfreefromhis
hand.
Hepouted.“Becausethereisnoseaorlargebodyofwater
nearby.Ceerenwerealsooftwoworlds,partmortaland—”
“Waterfolk?”Iwhispered,heartlurching.
“Iimaginesomemayhavecalledthemsuch.Theywouldgrow
fins—notlikealamaea—”Hegrinned,andahintofthedimpleappeared.“Their
finswereintherightplaces,buttheirbloodlinealsofadedoutbeforethe
war.”
WasitacoincidencethatIanhadwrittenastoryabouttwo
childrenbefriendingsomewaterfolk?I’dthoughtitnothingmorethanafigment
ofhisimagination.Butmaybehehaddiscoveredtheceeren.
“Howdidtheydie?”
“There’salotofdebatesurroundingthatone.Someofthe
olderAtlantianssayit’sbecausetheyfellintoadepressiononceSaionwent
tosleep,losingtheirwilltolive.Othersbelievethatthroughgenerationsof
interminglingwithotherbloodlines,theresimplywerenopureceerenleft.”
“Ihopeitwasthelatter,”Isaid,eventhoughthatwasa
weirdthingtohopefor.“Themdyingoffbecauseofagodgoingtosleepisfar
toosad.”
“Thatitis.”Casteelturnedthepage.“Youshouldfindthis
interesting.”Hedroppedhisfingertothemiddleofthepage.“Senturion.”
Irefocused.“Whatisthat?”
“Ageneraltermformultiple,oldbloodlineswhowere
warriorsbornandnottrained.”Heplacedhishandbesidemine.“Therewere
dozensatonetime,eachlinemarkedbytheirownspecialtalentsthatmade
themdangeroustofaceincombat.Manyofthewarriorlinesdiedouthundreds
ofyearsbeforetheAscended.”
“How?”
“Allkingdomsarebuiltfromblood.Atlantiaisnodifferent,”
heexplained.“Thewarthatendedmostofthewarriorlinesstartedwithan
uprisingofelementalagainsttherulingline.”
RememberingwhatKieranhadtoldme,Isaid,“The…the
deities?”
“Someonehasbeentalkingwithyou.”
“Kierantoldmeaboutsomeofthem,butIdon’tunderstand.
Hemadeitsoundlikethedeitiesheldunquestionableauthority—thattheywere
thechildrenofthegodsandcreatedtheelementals.”
“I’msureKieranwouldsaythat.”Hesnorted.“But,yes,
theycreatedtheelementalsandmostofthewarriorlines,buttherealways
comesatimewhenthecreationseekstoriseabovethecreator.Theelementals
andseveraloftheotherlinesorchestratedamassacre,managingtokill
severaldeities,whichIimaginewasn’tentirelyeasy.Afewofthewarrior
linessidedwiththeelementals,andsomewiththedeities.Thewardidn’tlast
aslongasitdidwiththeAscended,butitwasfarmoredestructive.Inthe
end,nearlyallthedeitieshadbeenslain,entirebloodlinesweregone,anda
deitystillmaintainedthethroneuntilhewasfinallycastasideand
killed—thistimeforreasonsthatwentbeyondmyancestorsdecidingtheywere
betterfittorule.”
“Andwhatwasthat?”
“I’vealreadytoldyouwhy,oncebefore.”Heinclinedhis
headwhenIglancedupathim.“Hecreatedthefirstvampry.”
“KingMalec?Hewasadeity?”
Casteelnodded.
Goodgods,thatmeantthatCasteel’smotherhadbeenmarried
toadeity?“Hadhebeenalivesincethebeginning?Orwasheadescendentof
theline?”
“Hewasthechildoftwoancientdeities.”
Igaveashakeofmyhead,feelingasifmybrainwould
implode.Thatdidn’tstopmefromaskingmorequestions.“Whatkindoftalents
didthesewarriorshave?”
Thedimpledeepenedashesaid,“Somewereabletousetheearth
inbattle—summonthewindorrain.Theywereoftheprimordialline.Others
couldcalluponthesoulsofthosewhowereslainbytheonetheyfought.The
onelistednearthetop?”Hispinkybrushedmine,sendingashockofenergyI
hadn’tfeltwhenonehadpassedtoKieran.“Pryo?Theycouldsummonfirefor
theirblades.Underneaththatisoneofthecimmerianline?”
HispinkyslidovermineasIstaredatthewordwrittenin
inktoofadedformyeyes.Inodded.
“Theycouldcalluponthenight,blockingoutthesunand
leavingtheirfoeblindtotheirmovements.”
“Allofthat…allofthatsoundstoofantastical,”Iadmitted
ashisfingertracedthelineofmine,sendingawaveofawarenessthroughme.
“Itwould,butsoarewolventoalotofmortals.”Hehada
pointthere.“AndIimaginesoareempaths.”
“Empaths?”
“Awarriorbloodlinethatdiedoffshortlyafterthewar,but
thesewereevenmoreunique,Poppy.Theoneseveryonedreadedtofaceinbattle.”
Hisfingersslidovermine,andIlookedupathim.“Theywerefavoredbythe
deities,astheyweretheonlyoneswhocoulddowhattheempathscould—read
theemotionsofothersandthenturnthatintoaweapon,amplifyingpainor
fear.Sendinganarmyrunningbeforeaswordwasevenlifted.”
Mybreathcaught.
“ThisisthebloodlineIbelieveyou’redescendedfrom,
Poppy.OratleastwhatI’vebeenthinking.”Hishandreturnedtothedesk.
“Empathwarriors.It’stheonlyonethatmakessense.Afewcould’vebeenlost
inSolis,unabletoreturntoAtlantiaattheendofthewarandtherefore
presumeddead.Oneofthematsomepointcould’vemetamortal,yearsandyears
later,orthechildoftwoofthemdid,creatingeitherthefirstgeneration
thatgavebirthtoyouor—”
“Oroneofmyparentswas…wasanempathwarrior.”Stunned,I
wasunabletomove.“Didtheyhaveacertaineyecolor?BecauseIdon’thave
goldorhazeleyes.”
“No.YoursarethecolorofanAtlantianspring—of
dew-kissedleaves.”
Iblinked.
Casteellookedaway,clearinghisthroat.“Anyway,the
warriorbloodlineshadnospecificdistinguishingtraits.”
Thenmymotherorfathercould’vebeenone,orthe
childofthem.“IsitpossiblethatQueenIleanaorKingJalaraweresoclose
tothemandhadnotknown?”
“Itispossible.ButtheywouldhaveknownwhattheAscended
wereiftheywereanempathwarrior.”Bracinghisweightonhishand,Casteel
dippedhisheadsowewerealmostateyelevel.“So,Ithinktheywere
first-generation.Andlikeyou,didn’tunderstandwhytheycouldn’tsenseemotions
fromtheAscended.”
“ButIcan’tuseitasaweaponoranythinglikethat.”
“Theabilitieschangeoncemortalbloodisintroduced.”His
gazeflickeredovermyface.”
“Howdidtheydie?”Iasked,andthenimmediatelyrealized
theanswer.“Theycouldn’tusetheirabilitiesagainsttheAscended,could
they?”
“Eitherbecausetheycouldn’tsenseemotionordidn’tknow
howto.Theywerestillexceptionalfighters.Itwouldexplainyouralmost
naturaltalentwithweapons.”Hisvoicesoftened.“Bolderandbraverthanany
oftheotherlines.”
Mygazefelltothefadedink.Empathwarriors.Coulditbe
thatIwasdescendedfromabloodlinesopowerfultheycouldtakeoutanarmy
beforeabattleevenbegan?Onefavoredbythechildrenofthegods?Couldit
bethatIwasapartofthisbloodline?Itsoundedright.Itfeltlikeafinal
puzzlepiecebeingfound.Itfeltright.Thecornersofmylipstipped
up,andIsmiled.
“Beautiful,”Casteelwhispered.
Startled,myeyesflewtohis.Themomentourgazesconnected,
Icouldn’tlookaway.Hisheadwassoclosetomine,hismoutheven
closer—closeenoughthatifItiltedmyheadandleanedinaninchortwo,our
lipswouldtouch.Myheartstartedpounding.DidIwantthat?DidInotwant
that?Ididn’tmovetoputspacebetweenus.Myeyesbegantodriftclosed—
Casteelmovedback,hisheadturningtothedoor.Heslid
offthedeskjustasafistsounded.“Comein.”
Naillentered,handonhissword.“Oneofthewatchers
signaledthatwehavecompany,comingfromthewesternroads.”
“Who?”Casteeldemanded.
“TheAscended.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter14
IwasalreadystandingwhenCasteelturnedtome.“Wemust
go,”heclippedout.
Iwenttomovearoundthedeskbutstopped.“Wait.”Spinning
around,IsnatchedthebookandshoveditbackwhereI’dfoundit,behindthe
otherrecords.
Casteelnotedmyactionsinsilence,andwhenIcamearound
thedesk,hetookmyhand.
HowcouldtheyhaveknownthatIwasmissing?Ithadtobe
toosoon,especiallygiventhestorm.Ithadonlyclippedthewesternsides,
buttheywould’veexpectedittoslowusdown.
“They’vealreadyenteredtheyard,”Nailladvisedasweleft
thelibrary,sendingmystomachplummeting.
“Besmart,”Casteeladvised.Andwithonecurtnod,Naill
tookoff.“Come,”hesaidtome.
Casteelledmeinsilencethroughthedimlylit,winding
hallsthatfeltlikeamazedesignedtotrapus.Wereachedanoldwoodendoor
thathepushedopenwithanarm,andenteredthekitchens.Thefacesofthose
wepassedwereablurastheysteppedtotheside,bowingatCasteelonsight.
“TheAscendedarehere,”hesaid,andseveralgaspsechoed.
“Hidetheyoungestbelowandwarntheothers.DonotantagonizetheAscended.”
Anoldermansteppedforward,thumpinghisfistoffhis
chest.“Frombloodandash.”
Casteelplacedhisfistoverhisheart.“Wewillrise.”
Thepeoplescatteredbeforewereachedthedoorsthatled
outside.Wewerenearthestables,theaircoldbutstillasIglancedupat
theskythathadgivenwaytonight.Weheadedfortheheavilywoodedarea,neither
ofusspeakinguntilwewereamongthesnow-heavylimbs.Onlythendidit
strikemehowmuchmylifehadchanged.
IwasrunningawayfromtheAscended.
Nottowardthem.
Casteelkeptholdofmyhandashenavigatedthedarkened
woods.
“Wherearewegoing?”Iasked,mybreathformingmisty
clouds.
“JustoutsideuntilIknowforsurewhatishappening.”He
caughtabare,low-hangingbranch,liftingitoutoftheway.
Ikeptcloseaswemovedalongthefringesoftheforest.I
realizedwe’dmoveddeeperintothewoodsaswecircledthekeepandthen
startedtomovecloser.Perhapsahalf-hourpassedbeforethecoldbegantoget
tome.IshiveredasIcurledmyfreehandsothatitwashiddenundermy
sleeve.
“Sorry,”hesaidgruffly.“Iwishthere’dbeentimetograb
acloakoratleastyourgloves.”
“It’sokay.”
Heglancedbackatme,butIcouldn’tmakeouthis
expression.Wecontinuedon,drawingevenclosertothekeep.
Casteelstoppedme.“Wait.”
Thetoneofhisvoicesentawaveofwarningthroughme.
“What?”
Hejerkedhischin
forward.“Somethingishappening.”
“What?”Irepeatedandfollowedhisgaze,strugglingtosee
throughthetrees.“Idon’thavesuper-specialAtlantianeyes.”
“AndI’msurethatfillsyouwithwrathfulenvy.”
Itdid.
“Weneedtobequiet.”
Ilistened,whichIwassurecameasashocktoCasteel.We
crepttowardtheedgeofthewoods,andasthetreesthinnedout,Icouldsee
thattheyardwasbrightlylit,farmorethanI’deverseenit.
Anditwasn’tempty.Notintheslightest.
Casteelstoppedoncemore,thistimetuggingmetomyknees
besidehim.Coldsnowseepedthroughtheclothofmybreeches.Uneaseblossomed
asmygazeroamedoverthemenonhorseback.Thereweredozens,withatleasthalf
ofthemstationedaroundawindowlesscarriagethatwasnearlyblackinthe
glowofthelittorches.ButIdidn’tneedspecialAtlantianeyestoknowthat
thecarriagewasn’tblack,nordidIneedbetterlightingtorecognizethe
symbolembossedonitsside.Themantlesdrapedoverthearmoredshoulders
weren’twhite,theywereblack.
Andthecarriagewascrimson.
Theemblemwasacirclewithanarrowpiercingthecenter.The
RoyalCrest.
Thesemenweren’tRoyalGuards—theyweretheguard.
MembersoftheRoyalKnights.
“Theybroughtknights,”Iwhisperedtheobvious,mainly
becauseIneededtosayittobelievewhatIwaswitnessing.I’dneverseena
knightoutsideofthecapital.
“Yes,theybroughtouttheknights,”thePrincereplied,his
toneflatbutcarryingarazor-sharpedgeasheletgoofmyhand.“So,what
areyougoingtodo,Princess?”
IcouldfeeltheintensityofhisstareasIwatchedthe
keep’sdoorsswingopen.Twoknightsappeared,theirhandsatthereadyonthe
hiltsoftheirbroadswordsastheyledtheinhabitantsofthekeepoutintothe
cold.Amixtureofdisbeliefandconfusionthuddedthroughmeastheknights
linedeveryoneup.IrecognizedElijahandMagdaimmediately,astheywerenear
oneofthetorches.Foronce,themanwasquietashestoodthere,armscrossed
overhisbroadchest.Ididn’tseeKieran,nordidIseeNaillandDelano,but
therewereatleasttwodozenoutsidethekeep,andtherewere…oh,gods,there
werechildrenamongthem,shiveringwithouttheircloaksasafineflurryof
snowcontinuedtodriftthroughtheair.WhatifAlastirandhismenreturned
inthemidstofthis?Theywouldhavetoseethembeforetheywereseen.
“Willyougotothem?Shoutandalertyourpresence?”
Casteeldemandedquietly.
“WhywouldIdothat?”Myheadjerkedinhisdirection.“I
agreedtoyourproposal.IturneddownAlastir’shelp.”
“ButthatwasbeforetheAscendedwerehere.Rightinfront
ofyou.”
“Yes,thatwasbefore,”Itoldhim,myfrustrationforcing
thetruthoutofme.“Butthatdoesn’tchangewhatI’vedecided.Ihavemoreof
achanceofreachingmybrotherthroughyouthanIdothem.”
Someemotionflickeredacrosshisfeatures.“Istillcan’t
believeyouweregoingtotrytodothatbyyourself.Youwould’vegotten
nowherenearhimalone,Poppy.”Hisheadtiltedashiseyesnarrowed.“Unless
youweren’tplanningtodoitbyyourself.Goodgods,wereyougoingtoallow
theAscendedtofindyou?Wasthatwhatyouplannedontellingthefirstperson
youcameacrosswhenyoutriedtoescape?ThatyouweretheMaiden?Didyou
thinkthey’dtakeyoustraighttothecapital?Tohim?Ifso,thenyou’refar
morerecklessthanIevergaveyoucreditfor.”
Airleftmeinaraggedburst.“Ifigureditwouldbeeasier
toescapethemthanyouonceIgotwhereIneededtobe.”
HestaredatmelikeI’dsproutedanotherhead.“Onceyou
gotwhereyouwantedtobe,Poppy,youwouldbewheretheywantedyouto
be,aloneandunprotected.”
“Asifthatisanydifferentwithyou.”MylipsthinnedasI
turnedtothekeep.Oneoftheknightsdismounted.
“Youareprotectedwithme,andyou’llneverbealone,”he
shotback.
TherewasatuginmychestthatIdesperatelyignored.
“Andbytheway,incaseyouwerewondering,yourplanwould’ve
turnedoutjustaspoorlyasyourlittletraipsethroughthewoodsdid,”hegrowled.
“Doyouthinkthisisthebesttimetorehashsomethingthat
doesn’tevenmatter?”Idemanded.
“Ithinkitmatters.”
“Well,thenyou’rewrong.”
“Iamrarelyeverwrong.”
“Oh,mygods,IthinkI’dratherriskitwiththemthan
standherewithyouforanothersecond.”
“Well,it’syourluckyday.They’rerightthere.Gotothem.
Tellthemwhoyouare.”
“Asifyou’dletmedothat,”Ispat,twistingtowardhim.
“AsifyouhaveanyideawhatIwouldorwouldnotallow.”
Hiseyeswerenearlyluminouswithhisfury.“Butyou’reright.Iwouldn’t
allowthat,becauseIrefusetocarveyournameintothewalldown
below.”
Ishudderedasmywidegazeconnectedwithhis.Casteel
cursed,lookingtothekeep.
Theknightwho’ddismountedspoke,apparentlynotoneof
thosewho’dtakenavowofsilence.“Isthiseveryonewhoresidesinthis
keep?”
“Everyoneandthensome,”answeredElijah.“Wejustfinished
dinnerandwerespendingalittlebitoftimecatchingup.”
“Interesting,”theknightreplied,stoppinginfrontofhim.
“AndyettheLordwhooverseesNewHavenisnowheretobefoundinsidethat
keep?”
They…theyweren’thereforme?ButrathertocheckonLord
Halverston?Mygazedartedtothecarriage.ButwhywouldanAscendedcome?
Withknights?
“AsIalreadysaid,LordHalverstonishuntingwithseveralof
hismen,”Elijahreplied,andIknewthatwasalie.LordHalverston,an
Ascended,wasdead,aswerealltheAscendedwhooncelivedhere.“Helefta
fewnightsagoandwillbereturningshortly.Hehasahuntingcabin—”
“We’vecheckedthehuntingcabinupbythemoors,”the
knightcuthimoff.“Hewasn’tthere.Didn’tlooklikeanyonehadbeentherein
quitesometime.”
“Ifheisn’tthere,thenhemustbeonahuntanddecidedto
campsomewhereelse.”Elijahdidn’tmissabeat.“Hewasexcitedtogetout
there.Itwasallhecouldtalkaboutforseveralnights.Saidhemissedthe
thrillofthehunt.”
Elijahwasaveryconvincingliar.
Butnotpersuasiveenough.
“Isthatso?”Doubtdrippedfromtheknight’stone.
“Itis,”Elijahbitout.“Andtobereallyhonestwithyou,
Idon’tappreciatetheinsinuationthatI’mnotbeingtruthfulwithyou.”
Well,hewasn’tbeingevenremotelytruthful.
“AndIalsodon’tappreciateyouandyourknightswithyour
fancyblackarmorandfancierblackmantlesshowingupatthistimeofnight,”
Elijahwenton.“Draggingeveryoneoutinthecold—includingthechildren,as
iftheycouldsomehowbeofassistancetoyou.”
“Careful,Elijah,”Casteelmurmured.
Thecarriagedooropenedwithoutasound,andavoice
spilledout,onethatwassmoothandalmostfriendly.“EveryoneinsideNew
Havencanbeofassistanceifgiventherightmotivation.”
MagdaplacedahandonElijah’sarm,mostlikelysilencing
whateveritwasthatwasabouttocomeoutoftheman’smouth.
“Afterall,assubjectsoftheKingdomofSolis,very
minimalmotivationshouldberequiredifoneisfaithfultohisorherKingand
Queen.”TheAscendedcameintomylineofsight.Iknewthatcrescent-shaped
faceandlong,raven-blackhair.
“LordChaney,”Iwhispered,pressingmyhandsagainstthe
barkofatree.TheAscendedworenocloakorgloves,onlyaheavytunicover
darkbreeches.“He’sfromMasadonia.Whywouldhebeherelookingfor
Halverston?”
Thatdidn’tmakesenseunlessI…Iwaswrongtothinkthey
wereherefortheLordofNewHaven.
Casteeldidn’tanswer,andtheuneasegrewasIglancedat
him.Hischinwaslowered,jawsetandhardashestaredforward.Hishand
curvedaroundthehiltofhisshortsword.
“IdofindLordHalverston’sabsenceconcerning,whichwe
willneedtoaddressappropriately,”Chaneyremarked,drawingmygazebackto
him.“ButI’vecomeallthiswayonfarmoreimportantbusinessthatmustbe
handledfirst.Iknowwe’venevermet,soIfeelit’simportanttoletyouknow
thatunliketheknights,Iamnotnearlyaspatientwhenitcomestohumoring
unhelpfulsubjects.”
“Idon’tthinkyourknightsareallthatpatienteither,”
Elijahreplied.
Chaneychuckled,thesoundascoldasthewindfunnelingthe
snowalongtheground.Ididn’tknowmuchaboutLordChaneyotherthanseeinghim
attheCouncilmeetings.Sometimes,whenIsnuckaboutCastleTeerman,Ioverheard
himwiththeDukeorDuchess.AlltheAscendedgavemethecreeps,butChaney
appearedpleasantenough.Healwaysnoddedpolitelyinmydirectionwhenwe
crossedpaths,neverstaredtoolong,andhe’dbeenkindtothestaffasfaras
Iknew.
“Well,then,pleasenotethatI’mevenlesspatient.”The
Ascendedstoppedinfrontofoneofthechildren,aboyI’dseenrunningfrom
housetohousewhenwefirstarrivedinNewHaven.He’dbeenoutsidethe
stablesthenightIlearnedthetruthaboutCasteel.“I’vebeentoldthat
visitorsarrivednottoomanydaysago.”
Myspinewentrigid.Theyhadtobehereforme,buthowdid
theydiscoversoquicklythatwewerehere?
“Youheardwrong,myLord,”Elijahanswered.“Therehave
beennovisitors.Onlythosereturningtothekeep.”
TheLordstrolledpastElijah,hishandsclaspedbehindhis
back.Hestoppedoncemore,thistimeinfrontofanelderlymanwhohadhis
armaroundanotherwholookedasifhecouldbarelystand.“I’mhereonbehalf
oftheCrown.”HelookedoverhisshouldertoElijah.“So,Ireallyhopeyou
won’tlietome.TodosoisakintolyingtotheKingandQueen,andthat
wouldbeanactoftreason.Whiletheyaremoreoftenthannotourbenevolent
benefactors,theyarestillourrulers.Isthatclear?”
“Crystal,”Elijahrepliedstoically.
“Good.”ChaneypivotedtofacewhereElijahstood,
unclaspinghishands.“I’mwellawarethatagrouparrivedrecently.Imaycall
themvisitors.Youmightrefertothemas‘thosereturningtothekeep.’Semantics.
So,Iwillletthatslide.Ayoungwomantraveledwiththem.Whereisshe?”
Iexhaledroughly,feelingnothingbutasenseofrising
dread.
ItwasMagdawhospoke.“Therewasnowomanthatreturned
recently,myLord.”
MyfingersdugintothebarkasChaneystaredather,too
farawayformetoreadhisexpression.EventhoughIalreadyknewwhatwould
happen,Iopenedmysensesandstretchedout,formingtheintangibleconnection
withtheLord.
Ifeltnothing.Vast.Endless.Empty.Andithadbeenthe
samefortheempathwarriors,whowerefarstrongerthanI?DidtheAscendedhave
nomortalemotionsatall?TinybumpspimpledmyskinasIshiftedmysenses
towardElijah.ThemomentIconnectedwithhim,Ifeltthehot,acidicburnof
anger,andtheirontasteofsteelydetermination.Hewasn’tafraid.Notat
all.Ipulledmygiftback.
Chaneysnappedhisfingers,andoneoftheknightsstepped
forward,openingthecarriagedoor.Ifrowned,leaningforwardasaslightform
cameintoview,shoulderscurvedin,headbowed.
“Oh,mygods,”Iwhispered,jerkingbackfromthetreesofast
thatIlostmybalance.
CasteelcaughtmebeforeItoppledover.“Steady,”he
murmured.
“It’sMrs.Tulis,”Itoldhim,stunned.
“Youneedtogounderground.”Hestartedtoturnme.
Iduginmyfeet.“No.”
“Youdon’tneedtoseethis,”heargued.
ButIhadto.
Ihadtoseethis.
Casteelcursed,buthedidn’tforcemetomove.
Wearingnothingbutafrayed,worngown,thewomanstoppeda
fewfeetfromthecarriage.ShetrembledsobadlythatIwonderedhowshe
remainedstanding.Thewindtuggedattheknotofherhair,liftingthestrands
thathadalreadyfallen.Herarmswerecurledaroundherchest—herempty
arms.
“Whereisherson?”Iasked.CasteelshookhisheadwhenI
lookedathim.
“Tellmeagain,Mrs.Tulis,”Chaneysaid,stoppingonce
more.“Whoarrivedherejustafewdaysago?”
“Itw-wastheMaiden,”shestammered,andmyheartdropped.
“TheC-Chosen.ShecamewithothersfromMasadonia.”Shetookatentativestep
towardElijah.“I’msorry.He—”
“That’senough,Mrs.Tulis.”ThatwasallChaneyneededto
say,andshequietedatonce,sinkingintoherself.“I’msureallofyouknowwho
theMaidenis.Shewasbeingescortedtothecapital.AndasI’msureyoualready
know,NewHavenisnotpartoftherouteonenormallytakestogetthere.
Stoppingherewasn’tpartoftheplan.”
“There’snoMaidenhere.Notinanysenseoftheword,”Elijah
said,andafewofthosestandinginlinechuckled.
“Hismouth,”murmuredCasteel,“willbethedeathofhimone
day.”
Ifearedthatonedaymightcomesoonerthanlaterwhen
Chaneyseemedtoinhaledeeply.“So,yousayshe’saliar?”heasked.
“AllI’msayingisthatthere’snoMaideninthiskeep,”
Elijahanswered,whichtechnicallywasn’talie.
“Allright.”Chaneynoddedandthenmovedfastlikeall
Ascendedcould,almostasquicklyasanAtlantian.Onemomenthewasstanding
severalfeetfromMrs.Tulis.Thenext,hewasbehindher,hisfingerssinkinginto
herwind-swepthair.Aviciouscracksoundedashejerkedherheadtotheside.
Lurchingforward,Iclampedmyhandsovermymouthtosilence
theshoutbuildinginmythroat.ElijahmadeamovetowardtheLord,buthe
drewupshortasseveraloftheknightspulledtheirswords
Withwide,disbelievingeyes,IwatchedLordChaneylifthis
hands.Mrs.Tuliscrumpledtothegroundinabonelessheapathisfeet.Even
afterseeingtheundergroundchamberwithallthosenames,Icouldn’t…I
couldn’thavepreparedmyselfforwhatIsaw.He’dsnappedherneck.Justlike
that.He’dkilledherasifshemeantnothing,asifherlifehadnovalue.
Slowly,Iloweredmyhands.
“Why?”Magdasaid,herfingerspressedtoherroundedbelly.
“Whywouldyoudothat?”
LordChaneysteppedoverMrs.Tulis’sbodyasifshewere
nothing,absolutelyforgettable.“Whywouldshegounpunishedforlying?”
Oh,gods.Ashudderrackedme.Shehadn’tbeenlying.Magda
knewthat.Allofthemknewthat.
“Unlessitwasyouwhoislying,”hesaid.“Andtheonly
reasonIcancomeupwithforthatisthatseveralofyou—orallofyou—are
Descenters.Liketheoneyouaccusedoflying.Afterall,sheoncelivedin
MasadoniabutdisappearedalongwithherhusbandandsonshortlybeforetheRite
andaftertheirverypublicrequesttorefusetheRitewasdenied.Herdeath
wasquickandjust.”
Herdeathwasjust?Icouldn’tbelievewhatIwashearing.
AndhowhadhegottenaholdofherwhenshehadbeeninNewHaven?Andwhere
wasTobias?
“Butbacktotheissueathand.TheMaidenisveryimportant
tothekingdom.Worthmorethaneverysingleoneofyou,”Chaneyaddressedthe
lineofpeople.“Whereisshe?”
Noonespoke.
Chaneylookedattheonlyknightwhospoke.Withoutsayinga
word,helungedforward,thrustinghissworddeepintothebellyofaman
standinginline.
HorrorseizedmeasCasteeljumpedupbutstopped,growling
underhisbreath.Theairaroundhimvibratedwithrage,andmysensesswelled
astheman’sagonyrippledoutacrosstheyard.MythroattightenedasIfought
backthenearlyoverwhelmingurgetoconnectwithhim.Icouldn’tallowthat.It
wouldbetoomuch.
Themanstaggered,buthedidn’tscream.Hedidn’tevenshout
fromthepain.Iimaginedagiantpairofshearssnippingawayatallofthe
linesmygiftwastryingtoconnecttohim…toCasteel…toalltheothers.Rage
coatedtheair,fallingheavierthanthesnowhad,andItrembledwiththe
efforttoshutitdown.Tolockitallawaybeforetheneedtoeasetheman’ssuffering
andthefearandangeroftheothersoverwhelmedme.
BeforeImadethingsworse.
Notasinglememberofthekeepstandingbytwitcheda
muscleasthemanliftedhisheadandspatintheknight’sface.
Theknighttwistedtheswordbeforetearingthebladefree.
Redspilledoutoftheman’sstomach,thickandropeyashewentdownonone
knee.
“Fuckyou,”themangrittedout.
Thesecondthrustoftheswordwasmoreofaswipe,cleaving
theman’sheadfromhisshoulders.Thereweregasps.AtleastIthoughtthere
were,butthebloodwaspoundingtooheavilyinmyears.Itcould’vebeenme
whoreacted.
Casteelroseoncemore,hishandsopeningandclosingathis
sides.Amuscleflexedalonghisjaw,andthenhestretchedhisnecktothe
leftandtotherightbeforereturningtokneelbesideme.
Bilecreptupmythroatastheknightwipedthespitfrom
hischeekwiththebackofhisfreehand.
“Iwillkillthatone,”Casteelvowedquietly,hisvoice
colderthantheairwebreathed.“Iwillkillthatoneslowlyandpainfully.”
Oneoftheotherknightssteppedforward,grabbingaboy—the
onewho’drunfromhousetohousewhenwefirstarrivedinNewHaven.He
pressedthepointofhisswordunderthechild’schin.
Myheartstopped.
“Thisiswhattheyaretrulylike.”Casteelcurledhis
fingersaroundmychin,drawingmygazetohis.“Thatiswhatyouoncebelieved
wouldbeeasiertomanipulate,toescape.”
Ishuddered.
Casteel’sgazesearchedmine.“Iknow.Iunderstand.
EvenaftereverythingI’vetoldyouabouttheAscendedandwhatI’veshownyou,
seeingitisstillashock.”Hisvoicesoftened,looseningsomeoftheice.
“It’salwaysdifferentwhenyouseeit.”
Itwas.
Chaneyhadturnedbacktotheline.“Ifyou’vehiddenthe
Maidensomewhere,youonlyneedtotellmewhere.Ifothersleftwiththe
Maiden,thenyousimplyneedtotellmewhere.Tellmewheresheis.It’sthat
simple.Provetomethatyouvalueyourlives.”
“Andthenwhat?Youwillleavethisplace?Asifyou’dlet
usliveifwetoldyou,”Elijahsnarled.“Imayhavemomentsofprofound
stupidity,butI’mnotthatdumb.”
Chaneychuckled.“Ibelievethatisdebatable.”
“Perhaps,”Elijahreplied,andIcouldpracticallyhearthe
smirkinhistone.“ButI’mnottheonehidingbehindachild.”
TheAscendedgrewverystillasthehairsonthebackofmy
neckrose.“AreyousuggestingthatI’macoward?”
“Yousaidit.”Elijahunfoldedhisarms.“Notme.”
Casteeltuggedmyeyesbacktohisashereachedforhis
bootwithhisotherhand.“Iwishyou’dneverhadtoseeanyofthis.”
Hedidn’tgivemeachancetorespond.Risingsoquickly,he
wasalreadyneartheedgeofthetreesintheblinkofaneye.
Ittookmeamomenttorealizethatthespacewherehe’d
kneltbesidemewasn’tentirelyempty.
Lyingonacushionofdeadleavesandsnowwasabladethe
colorofblood,andahandlemadeofsmooth,ivorybone.Awolvendagger—my
wolvendagger.
Slowly,Ipickeditupwithatremblinghand,theweight
familiarandwelcomed.IlookedtowhereCasteelmovedlikeashadowbetween
thetrees.Howlonghadhehaditwithhim,andwhyhadhegivenitbacktome
now?
BecausebloodstonecouldkillanAscended.
He’dleftmewithaweaponthatIcoulduseincasethe
Ascendedmadeittome
“You’relookingfortheMaiden?”Casteelcalledout,andthe
Lordspunaround.Severaloftheknightsflankedhim.
ChaneytiltedhisheadasCasteelwalkedintotheclearing.
“Whointhehellareyou?”
“WhoamI?”Casteelchuckledasifthiswereallajoketo
him.“WhodoyouthinkIam?”
Risingslowly,Ipressedagainstthebaseofatreebefore
movingaroundit.IstoppedwhenIsawaflashoffawn-coloredfurfromthe
areaofthestables.Kieran.Heslunkalongthesideofthebuilding,
disappearingintoitsshadows.
“Idon’tknow,”Chaneyreplied.“ButI’mhopingyou’re
someonewhocananswermyquestion.Iwouldhatetoseesuchayounglifecut
short.”
MyfingerstightenedaroundthebonehandleofmyweaponasI
creptforwardoncemore,mygazeswingingtowardtheknight.CouldIgetbehind
himbeforeanyonesawme?BeforeLordChaneygavethego-ahead,andanother
lifewasended?Allitwouldtakeisonenod,andthatchild’slifewouldbe
over.
Thesoftcrunchofdriedleaveswhippedmyheadtothe
right.AlargewhitewolvenbrushedagainstthetreeI’djustbeenhiding
behind,nearlyblendinginwiththesnow.
Asuddenmemorysurfaced—ofmelyinginthecellafterthe
attackJerichohadled,bleedingout.Awolvenwithwhitefurhadnudgedmy
cheekandthenhowled.I’dthoughtitwasKieran,butithadbeenthiswolf.
IthadbeenDelano.
Helookedatme,hispaleblueeyesbrightagainstthetufts
ofwhitefur.HemadeasoftchuffingsoundashedriftedovertowhereI
stood.Hisheadreachedbeyondmyhip,andIhadthestrangesturgetoreach
downandscratchhisear.Iresisted,though.Itdidn’tseemappropriate.
Casteelstoppedinthemiddleoftheyard,hisarmsathis
sides.“Icanansweryourquestion.TheMaidenishere.”
Thatstoppedmedeadinmytracks.
“Isshe?”LordChaneyclappedhishandsashelookedaround
theyard,tothoselinedup.“Now,howhardwasthat?Iaskedaquestion,andI
receivedananswer.”
“YoushouldaskhowheknowsthattheMaidenishere,”
Elijahsaidwithachuckle,andIsawMagdatakeasmallstepback.
WellawareofDelanoatmyheels,ImovedforwardasLord
ChaneystaredatCasteel.Ireachedthelastofthetrees,stoppingwhenChaney
demandedquietly,“Youdidn’tsaywhoyouwere.Yougoingtoanswerthat?”
“Iambornofthefirstkingdom.”Casteel’svoicecarried
likethewindandsnow,strokingovertheknights,whoallturned,onebyone,
tolookinhisdirection.“Createdfromthebloodandashofallthosewhofell
beforeme.Ihaverisentotakebackwhatismine.I’mwhoyoucalltheDark
One,”hesaid,andchillsdancedacrossmyskin.“Yes,IhavetheMaiden,and
I’mnotgivingherback.”
LordChaneychanged
Gonewastheveneerofcivility.Hisfacecontorted,
cheekbonessharpeningashisjawdroppedopen.Thoseeyesburnedlikecoal—like
aCraven’s.Istumbledback,bumpingintoDelanoasIsaw—
Isawthetruthoncemore.
TheAscendedbaredhisfangsashehissedlikealarge
serpent,droppingintoacrouch.
“Minearebiggerthanyours,”Casteelrespondedinturn,
prowlingforward.
Thentheknightschanged,atleasthalfofthem,
exposingelongatedcaninesastheirlipspeeledback.Itfeltliketheground
movedundermyfeet,eventhoughtheentireworldseemedtostop.Therewere
AscendedamongtheRoyalArmy.That…thatwasunheardof.OnlytheRoyals
Ascended.Thatwaswhatwe’dbeentold—
Andthatwasanotherlie,anotherfactexposedtoeveryone
whostoodherenow.Iimmediatelyknewyetanothertruth.TheAscendeddidn’tintend
foranyonetoleavetheyardalivetonight.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter15
Itwas…itwaschaos.
HalfoftheknightschargedCasteel,andtheothersturned
ontheoneslinedup—
Elijahsnaggedthearmofaknightwho’dliftedasword,
smashinghisclosedfistdown.ThecrackofbonedrewahowlofpainasElijah
caughttheswordandturneditontheguard.Theswordwasbloodstone,andit
didwhatwasintended,piercingtheblackarmorandsinkingdeepintotheknight’s
chest.Elijahpulledthebladefree,andIexpectedtoseetheknightfall,
justlikeaCraven,asElijahspun,hisswordclangingoffanother.Therewere
shoutsofpainandagodsawfulhissingnoise,butIcouldn’tpullmyeyesaway
fromtheknight.
Hedidn’tsimplyfalllikeaCravenwould.Fissuresappeared
alonghischeeks,spreadingacrosshisfaceanddownhisneck,formingawebof
fracturesthatdisappearedundertheclothingandarmor.Hisskin…cracked
Stripsoffleshpeeledbackandflakedoff,shatteringinto
dustthatwascaughtonandsweptawaybythewind.Withinseconds,nothing
remainedoftheknightbuttheclothingandarmorhe’donceworn,leftina
pileontheground.
TheCravendidn’tdielikethat.Theirbodiesremainedwhole.
Thathadn’thappenedtotheDuke,buthe’dbeenkilledwithacanefashioned
fromatreefromtheBloodForest.Andthathadn’thappenedwhenIkilledLord
Mazeen,butthebladewasmadeofsteel.Notbloodstone.
Mygazefelltomywolvendagger.That…thatwaswhat
bloodstonedidtoanAscended?
Forafewverypreciousseconds,IwasfrozenwhereIstood,
mygazesweepingacrosstheyard,overtheclashofswordsandbodies,overthe
bloodsplatteringthesnow.
Theknights…theyweren’tjustfightingtheDescenters.They
wereattackingthem.Manystillhadtheirswordsintheirscabbards.Their
weaponsweretheirfangsandtheirstrength.Theyoverpoweredthemortalsamong
thepeopleofthekeepalmostimmediately,facestwistedinsnarls,fangsgleaming
inthemoonlight.Theyflewatthem,jumpingonsome,drivingthemdowntothe
groundlike…likeaCravenwould.MykneesfeltstrangelyweakasIstoodthere.
Bloodlust.
Maybetheydidn’tscreechliketheCravenorappeardecayed
andhalfdead,butwhatIwasseeingwasclearlybloodlust.
AnylingeringdoubtIhadabouteverythingCasteelhad
claimednearlyvanishedwhenIsawthechamber.Butnow,therewasnone.This
waswhattheAscendedtrulylookedlike,andIhadneverseenanythingmoreterrifying.
Naillappeared.Fromwhere,Iwasn’tsure.Hegrabbeda
knightbythenapeoftheneck,tearinghimfreefromaman.Heshovedashort
swordthroughtheknight’sback,butitappearedtobetoolatefortheman.He
felltotheground,histhroatamangledmess.
Delanosuddenlyrushedpastme,jarringmefrommystupor.
Withonepowerfullunge,hetookdownaknightthathadgrabbedholdofa
woman,hisfaceburiedinherneck—histeethinherthroat.Thewomanstaggered
afewfeet,pressingherhandtothewound.
Blinking,IturnedandsawCasteelshoveaswordintoa
knight’schestandthenspin,leavingtheswordthere.Hegrabbedthebackof
anotherknight’shead,yankingitback.TheAscended’sheaddropped,and
Casteel…
Airleakedoutofmypartedlips.
Hetorethroughtheknight’sneck,rippingitopen.Tossing
themanaside,hespatoutthebloodashegrabbedtheswordfromtheother’s
chest,pullingitfreeasecondbeforetheknightturnedtoash.
Iscannedtheyard,nolongerseeingLordChaney,butIdid
seeaknightbackingup—theonewhoheldthechild.Heusedtheboyasashield,
keepingtheswordundertheyoungone’schin.
Thewolvendaggerpracticallyvibratedinmyhand,andIwas
finallymoving.Instinctcrowdedoutthehorror,anditwaslikebeing
ontheRiseorrecentlywhenI’dfacedtheCraven.Asenseoffocusandcalm
settledovermeasIdartedintotheyard,runningforthecarriage.Outofthe
cornerofmyeye,IsawKieranleapuponaknightthathadElijah’sbackpinned
againstthestonewallofthekeep.Hegrabbedtheknightinhispowerfulwolven
jaws,flinginghimtotheground.Magdaappeared,thrustingoneofthe
bloodstoneswordsdown.
IslowedasImovedalongthebackofthecarriage,stopping
attheedge.Peeringaroundit,Isawtheknightdraggingthenow-struggling
boytowardthestables,athickarmaroundhisneck.Inthemoonlight,the
child’swide,panickedeyesmetmineamomentbeforetheknightturnedaway.
“Keepfighting,”theknightgrowled.“Thatreallygetsthe
bloodpumping.”
Thechildwasnolongerashield.
Hewasfood.
FurypumpedmybloodasIslippedoutfrombehind
thecarriage,crossingthedistancebetweenusasIflippedtheheavy-handled
daggersoIhelditbyitsblade—justlikeVikterhadtaughtme.
Theknightturnedsuddenly,draggingtheboyaroundasifhe
werenothingmorethanaragdoll.Heliftedtheswordashisgaze,reddish
blackinthemoonlight,flickeredoverme—overmyface.Thescars.His
eyeswidenedinrecognition.HeknewwhoIwas.Hisarmloosened,droppinga
fractionasheloweredthesword.
Isawmychance.
Itookit.
Thedaggerflewfrommyfingers,spinningthroughtheair.
Thebladestrucktrue,slicingthroughtheknight’seyeandembeddingitselfdeep
inhisbrain.Hishandspasmedopen,releasingthesword.Itfelltotheground
astinycracksinhisfleshappeared,racingacrosshisskin.Theywerethin
butdeep,andwhenhebrokeapart,itwasalmostasifhecavedintohimself.
“Damn,”thelittleboysaid,eyeswide.Heturned,bending
topickupthedaggerfromthearmor.Hehandedittome.“Yougothim!Yougot
himrightintheeye!Howdidyoudothat?Willyoushowme?”
Relievedtoseethatthechildwasn’tremotelytraumatized,
mylipstwitched.“Maybe—”
“Atwoforonespecial?”avoicesoundedfrombehindus.
“Perfect.”
“Runandhide,”Itoldtheboy,shovinghimaway.Hopinghe
listened,Isquaredoffwithaknight.Bloodandgorecoveredhismouthin
thickclumps.Iwasbeginningtothinkthevowofsilencedidn’tapplywhen
theyweren’thidingwhattheywere.
Eitherhehadn’tbeengivenadescriptionofwhatIlooked
like,whichdidn’tseemlikely,orhewastoolosttobloodlust.Thatsounded
moreprobable.Hebaredhisfangs,hissingashebent.Isawnowthattheir
teethwerelikethoseoftheCraven.Thereweren’tonlytwofangs,butfour.
Twoonthetop,andtwoonthebottom.Shortandeasilyhidden,butnoless
deadly.
Theknightchargedmewithallthegraceofabarrat.
Knowingthatthearmorwouldbehardformetopierce,evenwithabloodstone
dagger,Ibracedmyself.Themomenthisfingersgrazedmyarm,Isteppedtothe
sideasIswungthedaggerdownonthecenterofhischestwithallmy
strength.Myblowmetresistance,buttheknight’sownbodyweightandmomentum
workedtomyadvantage.Thebladepiercedthearmorandthenthechest.
Theknight’sshoutofpainandshockendedabruptly.Jerking
thedaggerfree,Idancedbackasthefissuresinhisskinappeared.Ididn’t
wanttobeanywherenearhimwhenhebrokeapart.Thethoughtoftheash,of
thepiecesofhim,gettingonme,inmyhairormouth—oroh,gods,in
myeyes—mademewanttovomit.
“Maiden?”
ThehairalongmyneckroseatthesoundofLordChaney’s
voice.Iturnedaround,myheartlodgedinmythroat.Thefangswerehidden,
hisplacidexpressionnotsettooneofawe.Bloodseepedfromawoundonhis
chest.Itlookedlikesomeonehadalmostgottenhimwithaswordordagger,but
he’dbeentoofast.Whathadcausedthelurchinmychestwaswhatheheld
againsthim.
Itwastheboy.
Thechildeitherhadn’tlistenedtomeorwasn’tfast
enough.LordChaneyhadonehandcurledunderthechild’sthroat.Thinrivulets
ofbloodranfromwheretheAscended’snailsdugintotheboy’sskin.
“Theytoldmeyouwerescarred,”theLordsaid.Hiseyes
wereliketheblackestfireastheyflickedtothedagger.“Iassumedthey
meantitwasjustascratchortwo,justaminorflaw.Butitisyou.”
“Itisme.”Irapidlyranthroughthepossiblescenariosas
theboytrembled.Almostallofthemendedwiththechild’sdeath,andI
couldn’thavethatonmysoul.Toomanypeoplehadalreadydiedorwere
seriouslywounded.Nameswouldbecarvedinthechamber’swalls,allbecausethe
Ascendedhadcomeforme.Ionlysawonewayfortheboytosurvive.“You’rehere
tosaveme.”Thewordstastedofashonmytongue.“Thankthegods.”
LordChaneywatchedmeclosely.“Areyousureyou’reinneed
ofsaving?Youkilledtwoknights.”
“Oneofthemwastryingtohurttheboy,andtheother
knight…hescaredme,”Iforcedout.“Ithoughttheyweregoingtohurtme.I
didn’tknowtherewereAscendedamongtheRoyalKnights.”
Ahumorlesshalf-smileappeared.“There’snoneedtobe
afraidnow,Maiden,”hesaid.“You’resafe.Laydownthebloodstone.”
Thehairswerestillatattention.Thedaggerwasmyonly
weaponagainstanAscended.Withoutit,thepaltrymeatknifewouldbelittle
tonohelp.Justlikeitwould’veifIhadmanagedtoescapethenightprior.
Casteelhadbeenpainfullyrightabouthowbadlythatwould’vegone,thoughnow
wasn’tthetimeforself-recriminations.“You’rehurtingtheboy.”
TheLord’sbrowsroseasthesoundoffightingcontinuedin
theyard.“AmI?”
Inodded.“He’sbleeding.”
Hedidn’ttakehiseyesoffme.IknewIwouldn’tbeableto
throwthedaggerasIhadbefore.Theelementofsurprisewasgone.“He’sa
Descenter,Maiden.”
“He’sjustachild—”
“Achildofthosewhosoughttokidnapyou.Hissafety
shouldbetheleastofyourworries.Whyyoustandbeforemeunveiled,notonly
holdingabloodstonedaggerbutalsowiththeknowledgeofhowtouseitisfar
moreconcerning.”
Ialmostlaughed.LeaveittoanAscendedtobelievethatmy
unveiledfaceandmyabilitytofightwasmoreconcerningthanthefateofa
child.“Buthe’sjustalittleboy,andIbelievehe’sasecondson,”Iquickly
lied.“HeisdestinedtoAscend,andthegodswillbeverydispleasedifsomething
weretohappentohim,wouldn’tthey?”
“Ah,yes.Iwouldn’twanttodispleasethegods.”His
fingerseased,andtheboywheezedraggedly.TheLordplacedhishandsonthe
boy’stinyshoulders.“Laydownthedagger.Youdon’tneeditnow.ThenIshall
lethimgo.Iwilltakeyoufarfromhere,backtoyourQueen.Sheisvery
worriedaboutyou,Maiden.”
Withthedagger,Ihadachance.LordChaneywasfast,and
smarterthantheknight.Hewouldn’tcomeatmelikeawildboar.I’dhaveto
beclever.Butwithoutmybloodstoneweapon?Istoodnochance.TheLordwouldn’t
killme.TheAscendedneededme.Thechild,however?Hewouldkillhimwith
littlethought.Mygazedippedtotheboy.He’dbeenatthestables,shouting,
“Frombloodandash”whentheotherscalledformetobesentbacktotheQueen
inpieces.Buthewasjustachild.
Exhalingslowly,Iopenedmyhand.Thedaggerslippedfrom
myfingers.Ithitthegroundwithasoftthunkthatsoundedlikeadoorbeing
closed.“I’mreadytogohome.”Isteadiedmyvoice.“TomyQueen.Please?”
LordChaneysmiledagain,anddreadknottedmystomach.He
nodded,andthatwastheonlywarningIhadbeforeshockingpainexploded
acrossthebackofmyhead,andmyworldplummetedintodarkness
Jostledintoconsciousness,Iwoketomyheadthrobbingas
ifitweresplittingintwoandadry,cottonyfeelinginthebackofmymouth.
Theconstant,roughrockingforcedmyeyesopen.Everythingwasablurof
crimson.
Iblinkeduntilmyvisioncleared.Agaslampcastasoft
glowoverthecrimson.Iwasinacarriage,laidoutonacushionedbench
drapedinred.Idrewinadeepbreathandalmostcoughedontheheavy,
too-sweetcologne.
“Youwake.”
Mystomachdropped.LordChaney.Iroseunsteadily,wincing
aspainspikedintenselyacrossthebackofmyskull.TheAscendedcameinto
viewasIreachedaroundandgingerlytouchedtheskin.Itwastender,andthere
wasasmalllump,butnoblood,eventhoughtheareathrobbed.
“Youhitme,”Isaid,myvoicehoarse
“Ididn’thityou,”LordChaneyreplied.Hesatinanarrogant
sprawl,armsrestingalongthebackofthebench.“SirTerrlynnwastheonewho
struckyou.Itwasdistastefulbutnecessary.”
“Why?”Iquicklyglancedaroundthecarriage.Therewas
nothingIcoulduseasaweapon,andIdoubtedtherewasbloodstoneorBlood
Foreststakeshiddenanywhere.
ButIdidhavethe…knife.Although,whatwasIgoingtodo
withameatknifeagainstanAscended?
“Weneededtomakehaste,andIfearedyouwouldsomehow…unintentionally
delayus.”Heshiftedonthebench,linesoftensionformingatthecornersof
hismouth.
MygazedippedasIloweredmyhandtotheseatbesideme.
Thewoundacrosshischestwasvisiblebeneaththetearinhistunic.The
reddish-pinkskinwasjagged,andthegashappeareddeep.Ascendedwereknown
tohealrapidlyfromwounds,muchliketheAtlantians.
“HowlonghaveIbeenunconscious?”Iasked.Withno
windows,Icouldn’ttellifitwasdayornight.
“Yousleptforaboutanhour.”
Myhearttrippedoveritself.Anhour?Goodgods,Icouldn’t
believeheevenescapedthekeep—eludedCasteel.ButthePrincehadtohave
realizedI’dbeentaken.
WhatifhethoughtI’dgonewiththeAscendedofmyown
accord,evenaftereverythingI’dseenandbeentold?Tightnessseizedmy
chest,butIcouldn’tworryaboutthatnow.Iglancedatthedoor.Overthe
soundofthecarriagewheels,Icouldhearthepoundingofhooves.Weweren’t
alone.
“Ifyou’replanningtoescape,Iwouldadviseagainstsucha
foolishthing,”LordChaneystated.“Wearetravelingatquiteaspeed,andI
doubtyouwouldsurvivesuchafall.Butifyoudid,knowthatwedonottravel
alone.SirTerrlynnridesbesideus,asdoseveralknightsandguards.”
Drawinginashallowbreath,Iignoredthesharpriseof
nauseaasImetthepitch-blackeyesofthevampry.Achillsweptovermyskin.
EventhoughIhadn’tconsideredthrowingmyselfoutofthedoorofaspeeding
carriage,Iwasdefinitelyplanningonescaping.IhadnoideahowlongI’d
beeninthelibrary,butIfiguredwewereseveralhoursawayfromdawn,when
theLordandtheknightswouldneedtoseekshelterfromthesun.Thatwouldbe
mychancetoescape.
Andthenwhat?
Ihadnoidea,butIwouldhavetofigurethatoutwhenI
gottothatpoint.Untilthen,itwouldbebestifIcouldconvincetheLord
thatIwasawillingparticipantinthis.
“WhywouldyouthinkI’dwanttoescape?”IaskedasI
leanedback,foldingmyhandsinmylapasIcrossedmyankles.Isatjustlike
IwouldifIworetheveil.Itwaslikeslippingonamask—asuffocatingand
toxicdisguise.“Ifearedthatnoonewouldcomeforme.I’msurprisedthatyou
foundmesoquickly.”
“Wehaveeyeseverywhere,Maiden,”hereplied,rubbingat
thespaceabovehiswound.“EveninplaceswheretheDescentersarefirmly
entrenched.”
“IsthathowyoufoundMrs.Tulis?Thewomanwho…whowaswith
you?”Inthisverycarriage,possiblywhereIwassitting.Andnowshewasdead
onthecoldground.Wherewasherson?
Atightsmileappeared.“Itwasmerecoincidencethatwe
happeneduponher.Shewasonfoot,afewmilesoutsideofNewHaven,walking
inthesnow.Shewasnearlyfrozenwhenwefoundher.Whatanidiot.”Helet
outaroughlaugh,andIwantedtostrikeoutathim,makinghislaughthelast
breathhetook.“SheclaimedthattheDarkOnehadkilledherhusband.”
Mrs.Tulishadn’tchosenanyofCasteel’soptions.Heart
sinkingevenfurtherintogrief,Isuppressedashudder.HadCasteelknownthat
Mrs.Tulishadleft?CouldIblameher?Sheprobablyfearedthesamewould
happentoher.
“WewerealreadyenroutetoNewHaven,onlyahandfulof
daysbehindyou,”hetoldme.“Wediscoveredthatseveralofthosewhowere
escortingyouwerenotwhotheyclaimed.TheDescentershadworkedtheirway
evenintothehighestranksofourguards.”
DidhemeanCommanderJansen?Itwouldmakesenseifthey’d
discoveredthathehadhelpedCasteel.Ifso,IknewJansenwasdead.
“So,Mrs.Tuliswasanunexpectedfind,butsheconfirmed
thatawomantraveledwiththeDarkOne,someonethatotherswhisperedwasthe
Maiden,”hetoldme,swallowingthickly.“Shewasright.”
“Butifyouknewthat,whydidyoukillher?”Iasked,a
partofmeneedingtounderstandsuchanaction.
“Shefledthecityinsteadofobeyingtheorderofthe
Rite.”
Iwaitedforhimtosaymore,buttherewerenootherwords.
Iinhaledsharply,nearlygaggingonthefloralscentofhiscologne.“Andwhat
ofherchild?Herson?”
LordChaneysimplysmiled.Therewasnoexplanation.
Nothing.Dreadknottedinmychestatthesightofthecold,inhumancurveof
hislips.Hecouldn’thavedonesomethingtothechild.Right?Myeyesclosed
briefly.Myrefusaldidn’tcomefromaplaceofnaivety,butfromtheinability
tofathomhowonecouldsmileiftheyhadharmedaninfant.Buttherewereall
thosechildren,somesoyoung,thatweregivenovertotheTemplesduringthe
Rite.Nooneeversawthemagainforareason,andithadnothingtodowith
theirservicetothegods
“Whatoftheboy?”Iopenedmyeyes.“Hisparentsmayhave
beenDescenters,butheisonlyachild.”
“Heremainsatthekeep.”
Thatwasasmallmeasureofrelief,butIlatchedontoit.
AnythingtostopmyselffromvomitingasIfixedwhatIhopedwasaserene
expressiononmyface.Alookofblind,devotedtrustashewatchedme,and
I…watchedhim.
LordChaneycouldbeconsideredahandsomeman.I’d
overheardafewoftheLadiesinWait,thoseseconddaughtersgiventothe
CourttoAscend,speakofhim.ButIdidn’trememberhimbeingthispale.His
skinwasleachedofallcolor,andIcouldseethefaintblueveinsunderneath.
“Areyou…well?”Iasked.“Thewoundappears…quitefierce.”
“Itisavery…fiercewound.”Hecontinuedmassaginghischest.
Thelinesbracketinghismouthdeepenedashislipsparted.“Penellaphe?”
Itwitchedatthesoundofmyname.“Yes,myLord?”
Hestillhadn’tblinked.NotoncesinceIwokeup,and
wasn’tthatentirelyunsettling?“Youcanstoppretending.”
Icehitmyveins.“Pretendingwhat?”
Chaneyleanedtowardme,andItensed.Hisfingersstilled.
“Tellmesomething,Maiden.DidyouwelcomethebiteofanAtlantian?
Perhapsevenenjoytheforbiddenbloodkiss?Ordidheforceituponyou?Hold
youdownandtakeyourbloodagainstyourwill?”
Thatdamnbite.
Myfingernailsdugintomypalms.“It…itwasnotwelcomed.”
Ahintofredchurnedintheblackabyssofhiseyes.Just
likeaCraven.Gods.“Isthatso?”heasked.
Inodded.
“TheDarkOnebityou,andyet,yousitbeforeme,notasa
Craven.Thatmust’vecomeasashock.”
Gods,I’dforgottenthat.HowcouldIhaveforgottenthat
theAscendedhadtaughtusthatanAtlantian’sbitewaspoisonous?“Yes,butI
amtheChosen—”
“Andyousawustonight,outintheyard.Yousawwhatwe
are,”heinterrupted.“Yetyoudonotseemsurprised.Youshowedmoreshockand
concernregardingthatwoman’sdeath.”Heliftedahand,placingitonthe
benchbesidemyknee.“Yousayyou’rerelievedthatIfoundyou?”
“Iam.”
Helaughedsoftly.“Idon’tbelieveyou.”
AllofmysenseswentonalertasIsparedabriefglanceat
hishand.Theveinsstoodoutstarkly.Hewasnotwell.Notatall.
Chaneytskedsoftlyunderhisbreath.“TheKingandQueen
aregoingtobesodispleased.”
Ididn’tdaretakemyeyesoffhim.“Displeasedbywhat?You
orderingaknighttostrikeme?”
“Theymaybeunhappytolearnthat,yes,butIdobelieve
they’llbemoredisturbedtolearnyou’vebeencompromised.”Theredburnedbrighter
inhiseyes.“Andmostlikelyinmorewaysthanone.”
Theimplicationinhistoneignitedmytemper,andfora
moment,IrememberedthatIworenoveil.“Youshouldbemoreconcernedabout
yourself.”Imethisstare.“You’renotlookingwell,LordChaney.Perhapsthe
woundismoreseriousthanyourealize.”
“ThatbastardAtlantianalmostgotmyheart,”hesaid,
featuresturninghollow.“ButI’llsurvive.”
“I’mgladtohearthat,”Ibitout.
“I’msureyouare.”Thecarriagehitarock,jostlingme,but
Chaneydidn’tseemtonotice.“TherewasareasonIwaschargedwithfinding
you.Doyouknowwhythatis?”
“Yourpatienceandgenerosity?”
Hischucklewaslikenailsdraggingalongmynerveendings.
“Ididn’tknowtheMaidenwassofeisty.”
Iarchedabrow.
“IwaschosenbecauseIknowwhatyoutrulyare.”
Iforcedmyhandstounclench.
“Iknowwhatisreallyinyourblood,andIdaresayIknow
morethanevenyoudo.”
“Isthatso?”
Hislipsparted,andIwantedtorecoilfromthesightof
hisfangs—areactionthatwasnothinglikewhenIsawCasteel’s.“Youcannot
evenbegintocomprehendwhyyouwereChosen,butthat’sneitherherenor
there.You’lllearnsoonenough.”
“AndwhatisitthatIwilllearn?”
Hiseyes,akaleidoscopeofredandblack,fixedonme—onmy
neck.“ThatyouwillusherinawholeneweraofAscended.”
Disgustrippledthroughme.“DoyouthinkIdon’talready
knowthat?”
“Idon’tthinkyoucanevenpossiblybegintounderstand
whatthatmeans.Butbethatasitmay,youwereright.Iamabitmorewounded
thanIleton.Ifithadn’tbeenbloodstone,itwouldbehealingbynow.I’ve
saidtotheQueenandKing,timeandtimeagain,thatallthebloodstoneneedsto
bedestroyed.Butwithoutit,sheworriesthattheCravenwouldthenoverwhelm
thepeople.”
“Can’thaveyourfoodsourcebeingdestroyednow,canyou?”
IsaidbeforeIcouldstopmyself.
“TheDarkOnehasobviouslybeenwhisperinginyourear.”
Histongueranalonghisbottomlip.“He’sobviouslybeendoingmorethanthat.”
“Itdoesn’tmatterwhathe’sbeendoing.”Ismiledjustas
coldlyashe.“WhatdoesmatteristhatIknowwhyI’mtheQueen’sfavorite.I
knowwhatyouallplantodowithme.Iknowyouwon’ttouchme.I’mneeded
alivesothatIcaneitherkeeptheAtlantianyouhaveheldincaptivityfedor
beusedtomakemoreAscended.”
Hisheadtilted.“You’rerightaboutonething.Wedoneed
youalive.That’saboutit.”
BeforeIcouldevenprocesswhathesaid,thatIwasonly
rightaboutonething,heroseandmovedtowardme.
AndIreacted.
Leaningback,Iplantedmybootedfootinhischestand
kickedhimbacktohisbench.
Hiseyeswidenedashelaughed.“DearMaiden,thatwasunnecessary.
Ijustneedasip.TheKingandQueenneverneedtoknow.Itwillbeour
secret.Oneyouwouldbewisetokeep—”
Ikickedoutagain,catchinghiminthechestoncemore.
Hehissedinpain.“Thatwasn’tverynice,”hesnarledasI
shifted,reachingfortheknife.“Thatactuallyhurt.”
“Thatwasthepoint.”Iunsheathedtheblade,holdingit
steady.“Ifyouknowasmuchasyouthinkyoudoaboutme,thenyou’llrealize
Iknowhowtousethis.Itmaynotkillyou,butIcanmakeyouwishitwould.”
Hisburningblackeyeswidenedashehelduphishands.
“Now.Now.”Histonewasplacating.Patronizing.“There’snoneedforthreats
ofviolence.”
“There’snot?”Keepinganeyeonhim,Iscootedacrossthe
bench,towardthedoor.
Hetrackedmymovements.“Didyouforgetaboutthespeedin
whichwe’retraveling?Theknights?”
“I’drathertakemychancesofbeingtrampledtodeath.At
leastI’llgotothegraveknowingyou’llprobablyberightbehindmeoncethe
KingandQueenlearnthatI’mdeadbecauseofyou.”Ireachedforthedoor—
Chaneystruck.
Iexpectedhimtogofortheknife.Irearedback.Themoment
hishandreachedaroundmyankle,IrealizedIhadmadeafatalmiscalculation.
Heyankedhard,pullingmeoffthebench.Mybackcrackedofftheedgeofthe
seat,sendingajolttomyalreadyachingheadasIwentdownhardinthe
crampedspace.
Hepulledmetowardhim,overtherough,dirty,wetfloor,
laughingthewholewhile.“There’snopointinfighting—”
Grippinghisknee,Isatup,swingingtheknifewithallmy
mightintohischest—intotheangry,seepingwound.
Chaneyhowled,lashingout.Hisfistcaughtmyjaw,snapping
myheadback.Brightburstsoflightcrowdedthesidesofmyvisionashefell
backinhisseat,clutchingathischest.Istruggledtomyfeet.Thecarriage
jerked,pitchedmebackandthenforward.Grabbinghisshoulderforbalance,I
climbedontohim.Hetwistedunderme,movingontohisbackandthenrolled,
throwingmetotheside.Icrashedintothebackofthebench,hittingthe
cushionsandthenfelltothefloor.Airpunchedoutofmylungsinapainful
rush.Istartedtositup,butChaneydroppedontopofme.
“Idon’tknowhowtheTeermansmanagedtobearoundyou,
knowingwhatyoutrulyare.Notwithoutstealingjustataste.Youmayonlybe
half-Atlantian,butyourbloodispotent.”Hisweightandthestenchofhis
colognewasunbearable,suffocatingashegrippedmyleftarm,yankingitto
hismouth.“Ijustneedalittlebit.Thenthedamnthrobbinginmychestwillstop—”
“No!”Ishouted,strugglingwildlybeneathhim.Allmyyears
oftrainingdisappearedinafloodofpanic.Ikickedthebottomofthebench
withthelegthatwasn’tpinned.Ikickedhim,thefloor,theseat—
Butitwasnouse.
Thevampry’steethshreddedmyskin,sinkingintotheflesh
ofmylowerarm.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter16
Myarmwasonfire.
Theflamesblazedthroughmybody,sointenseand
all-consuming,Ifeareditwouldstopmyheart.
IwasscaredthatitalreadyhadbecauseIwasburningalive,
screamingasIpressedagainstthefloor,tryingtoescapethepain,getaway
fromwhatwashappening,butitinvadedeverypartofme.Icouldfeelit—him
drawingmybloodintohim,breakingoffpiecesofmewitheachswallow.Itwas
nothinglikewhenCasteelhadbittenme.Thepaindidnotease.Itdidn’tgo
away.Itratchetedupwitheachpassingheartbeat.
Hemoaned,bitingharder,digginghisbottomteethintomy
skin.JustlikeaCraven.Justlikebefore.LikethatnightwhenIwas
toosmallandtooyoungtofightback,toohelpless.
Thecarriagescreechedtoagrindinghalt,knockingChaney
loose.Amomentofreprievecamewheretheburningebbedenoughformybrainto
workagain.Mybreathwheezedasmyfingersspasmedaroundthehandleofthe
knife.Theknife.Istillheldit.Iwasn’tachild.Iwasn’thelpless
anylonger.Move,PoppyMove
Chaneylatchedontomyarmoncemore,andthepainwasa
hotcoalagainstmyskin,shovingmepasttheshockofpainbeforeitcould
dragmeunderagain.
Iswungtheknifedown,drivingitintohisback,overand
overuntilhefinallyfeltit,finallyreactedwithabellowofrageashetore
hismouthfree.Helurchedbackwardandtotheside,reachingfortheknife.
Clutchinghisshoulder,Iheldon,jabbingtheknifeintothewound,intohis
chest,hisface—anywhereIcouldreach,andhewentwild—aswildasme.Anew
waveofpainexplodedalongmyarm,mycheek,andbright,dazzlinglightsonce
moredancedacrossmyvision.Iscreamedassomethingseemedtoripopeninside
me.Mysensesstretchedout,attachingtotheAscended.Nothing.Nothing.
Nothingbutmypain,myrage.Itpulsedandthrobbedinsideme,throughme,
downthecord,andthroughtheentirecarriage,becomingatangible,third
entityasIslicedtheknifethroughhischeek.Chaneyjerkedback,yelping.
Bloodsprayedandspurted,runningfromhiseyesandears.Ididn’tstop.Not
evenwhenacrashsoundedfromtheroofofthecarriage.NotevenwhenI
thoughtIheardshoutingfromoutside.IstabbedasmanyholesintotheLordas
Icould,untilhesprangsomanyleaks,myhandswereslickwithhisblood,my
blood,andIkeptthrustingtheknifeintohim,overandover—
Thecarriagedoorrippedopen,tornfromitshinges.Cold
airrushedinwiththenight,andthenightwasenraged.Itwashed
overme,itsintensitysostunning,itoverwhelmedme,shuttingdownmysenses.
AndthenChaneywasgone,alongwiththecrushingweightand
theheavy,too-sweetcologne,butIcouldn’tstop.Blindedbyrage,pain,and
anold,all-too-familiarpanic,Ikeptstabbingattheair,atthenight,at
theshapethatfilledthegapingdoorway,andthenatwhatappearedaboveme.
Untilahandcaughtmywrist—
“It’sokay.Shh,it’sokay,Poppy.Stop.Lookatme,”a
voicedemanded.“Lookatme,Princess.”
Princess
TheAscendedwouldn’tcallmethat.
Breathingragged,mywildgazeswiveledaroundthecarriage,
stoppingwhenIfoundhim.Hehoveredoverme,cheeksspottedwithblood.“Hawke,”
Iwhispered.
“Yeah.Yes.”Hesoundedshreddedandwindblown.“It’sme.”
“I..Ididn’twanttogowithhim,”Itoldhim,needinghim
toknowthatIunderstood—thatIreallysawtheAscendedforwhatthey
were,evenbeforeIwokeupinthecarriage.“Hehadaboy,andI—”
“Iknow.Ifoundthewolvendaggerbythestables.Iknewyou
wouldn’thaveleftthatbehindifyou’dhadachoice.”Gently,hepriedtheknife
frommyhand,placingitonthebench.Thenormallystrikinglinesofhisface
seemedfuzzy.“AndhereIthoughtIwouldmakethisgrandentrance,rescuing
you.I’mnotsureyouneededrescuing.”
Iwasn’tsosureaboutthat.Myrollinggazelandedonthe
bloodiedknife.EvenasdazedasIwas,asmuchasmythoughtsweremuddied,I
knewIwouldn’thavekilledChaney.Iwasn’tevensurehowbadlyI’dwounded
him.Hewould’verecoveredquickly,andhewould’vebittenmeagain.He
would’vekeptbitingme,feedingoffme,and—
“Hey,staywithme.”Casteel’ssoftvoiceintruded,endingthe
spiralofpanicbeforeIrealizedIwasevenfallingdownit.Hisfingers
touchedmychin,drawingmygazefromtheknife.Hiseyesroamedovermyface,
lingeringwheremyjawthrobbedviciously,andthenhisgazedipped.Tension
creptintohisjaw.“Hehurtyou.”
LiftingmyheadtookmoreeffortthanIthoughtitwould.It
wasstrangelyheavyasIlookeddown.Thefrontofmytunicwasripped,
streakedwithred.
“You’rebleeding,”hesaid,hisvoiceroughashetouched
theskinbelowthecornerofmylip.Thattooached,butthenhishandscarefully
peeledbacktheleftsleeveofmytunic.Hebecameasstillasthestatues
insideCastleTeerman,asifhetoowerefashionedfromthelimestonetheywere
madeof.
Hiseyeswerelikeshardsofbrilliantamber.“Didhebite
youanyplaceelse?”
“No.”Iswalloweddryly,therigidnessseepingoutofmymuscles.
“Ithurt.ItfeltlikeaCraven’sbite.”Atremorrockedme.“Itfeltnothing
like—”
Hiseyesmetmine,andalongmomentpassedashestared
downatmelikehe…likehecared,asifhewoulddoanythingtotake
backthepainIfelt.“Hewantedittohurt.”
“Bastard,”Iwhispered,lettingmyheadfallback.
Casteelslippedhishandundermyheadbeforeitcouldmake
contactwiththehardfloor.Iwantedtotellhimthankyou,butmyface
hurt—myentirebodyached,andmyarmthrobbedandthrobbed.
“Hecould’vekilledyou,”hesaid,andforthefirsttime
sinceI’dmethim,Ithoughthesoundedweary.“You’reonlyhalf-Atlantian.”
Somethingaboutthatwasimportant—somethingChaneyhad
said.Butmythoughtswerelikescatteredwispsofsmoke.
“Bloodlustwould’veconsumedhim,andhewouldn’thave
stopped.Therenearlyalwayshastobeanothervamprywiththemtogetthemto
stop.Andsometimes,that’snotevenenough.Ididn’tthink…”Hisexhalewas
frayed,tattered.“Ididn’tthinkyou’dbealivewhenIreachedyou.”
Yetagain,hesoundedconcerned,butthathadtobethehead
injuryI’dmostdefinitelyacquired.Ormaybeitwasthefadingadrenaline.
Orperhapsthebloodloss.
“Why?”heasked.
“Hehad…thatboy.Ihadtodosomething,”Iforcedmytongue
tomove.Myeyelidsweretooheavy.Everythingwastooheavy,evenasIfelt
Casteelgathermeintohisarms,liftingmefromthecarriagefloor.“Itwasthe
onlywayhe’dlettheboygo.”
“Buthedidn’t,”Casteelsaidasmyeyesclosed,andI
slippedintooblivion.“Hedidn’tletthatboygo.”
Thejourneybacktothekeepwasatumbleofhazyimages,
brokenpiecesofdreamsandpinwheelingstars.Casteel’sfacewassocloseto
minethatI’dthoughthewouldkissme,butitseemedlikeastrangetimefor
that.Thereweresounds.VoicesIrecognized,onestingedwithconcern.Thena
strangetasteagainstmytonguethatremindedmeofspice,citrus,snow,and
Casteel.Warmthlikethesummersuninvadedmyveins,andwhentheheatstarted
toseepintomymusclesandspreadacrossmyskin,IthoughtIheardthe
trickleofwaterandsmelledsomethingsweet,likelilac.ButCasteelwasa
heavywhisperagainstmyskin,andthentherewasnothing.
WhenIopenedmyeyesagain,confusionsweptoverme.Irecognized
theexposedraftersoftheceilingandthedarkspiceandpinescentthat
lingeredontheblankettuckedaroundme,butIhadnorecollectionofhowI
gotbackhere.Mygazeshiftedtothegraylightcreepingthroughthesmall
window.ThelastthingIrememberedwasCasteelcarryingmeoutofthecarriage.
Thereweredisjointedimages,thingsthatdidn’tmakesensenomatterhowhard
Itried.
“Poppy?”
Heartkickingsuddenlyagainstmyribs,Iturnedmyheadtoward
thesoundofhisvoice.
Casteelwasnearthefireplace,risingfromachair.Hewasdressed
ashehadbeenwhenIsawhimlast,allinblack.Onlytheswordsweremissing.
Heprowledslowlytowardthebed,hisfaceclearofthespotsofblood.“How
areyoufeeling?”
Ihadtotugdownthecobwebschokingmythoughtstoanswer
thatquestion.“I…Ifeelokay.”AndIdid.IfeltlikeI’dspentanentire
nightinrestfulsleep.
Hestoppedbytheedgeofthebed,oneeyebrowraised.“You
don’tsoundlikethat’sagoodthing.”
“Idon’tunderstand.Ishould—”Mynextbreathcaughtinmy
throatasIpulledmyarmsoutfromundertheblanket.Theloosesleevesofthe
nightgownslippeddowntoreveal…skinthatwasmorereddishpinkthannormalin
twospots,butnotanangryshade,nottorn.Slowly,Iliftedmyfingerstomy
mouthandthentomyjaw.Theskinwasn’tswollenthereeither.Therewasonly
afaintachewhenIswallowed.Iloweredmyhandstothesoftblanketasthe
spicedcitrusandsnowtasteblossomedinthebackofmymouth.
“Poppy?”
Iswallowedagain.“HowdidIgetintothisnightgown?”
Therewasaheartbeatofsilence,andwhenIlookedbackat
Casteel,bothofhisbrowswereraised.Heseemedutterlycaughtoffguard.
“Didyou…didyoudoit?”
Heblinkedandthenshookhishead.“No.Magdadid.We
thoughtyou’dbefarmorecomfortable.”
ThatmeantMagdawasalive.
“Isthatallyouhavetoask?”hesaid.
Mygazefellbacktothefaintpuncturewoundsonmyarm.
“Yougavemeyourblood.”
“Idid.”
“WasIthatbadlyinjured?”
“Youwerebruisedandbleeding,andthatisbadenough,”he
stated,andIlookedtohimoncemore.“Therewasalsoaworrisomelumponthe
backofyourhead.Kierandidn’tbelieveitwasallthatserious,butI…Iwill
nottakeanychances.”Hisjawflexed.“Andwecannotrisklingeringheretoallow
timeforyoutoheal.Otherswillbecomingforyou.”
Others
“Theywerefollowingus,”Isaid,clearingmythroat.“Lord
Chaneytoldmethatthey’ddiscoveredthat—”
“Iknow,”hesaid,andahintofagrinappeared.“Ihada
smallconversationwiththevampry,andIcanbeverypersuasivewhenitcomes
toobtaininginformation.”
FragmentsofwhatLordChaneyhadsaidslowlypieced
together.“He…hesawthebitemarkonmythroat,andheknewthatI’dlearned
thetruth.”Mybrowsknitted.“Hesaidhecouldn’tunderstandhowtheDukeor
Duchesshadneverfedfromme—howtheyresistedknowingwhatIwas.Hesaidmy
bloodispotent.”
Hisjawclenched.“Toavampry,Atlantianbloodwouldtaste
likeafinewine.Afull-bloodedAtlantianwouldbelike—”
“Agedwhiskey?”
Hecrackedasmallgrin.“Veryaged,andverysmooth.”
Ishookmyhead.“Well,IguesstheTeermansresisted
becausetheyknewtheQueenandKingwouldbemad.Plus,itwouldexposethe
truthaboutthem.”Itoyedwiththeedgeoftheblanket.“Chaneywaswounded.”
“Elijahgotagoodswipeinbeforethecowardranoff.”
IwishedI’dseenthat,butsomethingelseChaneyhadsaid
slowlyfoughtitswaytothesurface.“Itoldhim…ItoldhimthatIknewwhy
theyneededmealive.HeinsinuatedthatIwasn’tcorrect.”
Casteelsmirked.“Ofcourse,hewould.IdoubttheQueenor
Kingwouldwantyoutoknowthetruthortobelieveit.Theywantyouwilling,
tonotfightthem—forthemtobeabletolietoyouuntiltheyhaveyouwhere
theywant.Ifhehadn’tbeenwounded,heprobablywould’vetoldyouthateverything
wasalie.Hewould’veworkedtogainyourtrust
“Butthelureofmybloodwastoomuch?”
Casteelnodded.
Mystomachtwistedwithnausea.“WhenIsawLordChaney,he
alwaysseemed…kind,”Isaid.“AndmoremortalthantheDukeorMazeen.”
“TheAscendedaremastersofhidingtheirtruenatures.”
ButsowasCasteel.
Myhearttrippedoveritself,stillunabletothinkthatall
Ascendedwerelikethat.IthoughtoftheDuchess,who’dtoldmetonotwaste
onemoremomentthinkingofLordMazeenwhenIquestionedifI’dbepunishedor
not.MaybetherewasareasonI’dneverseenherandtheDuketouchone
another.Justbecauseshewasavampry,thatdidn’tmeanshewasprotectedfrom
hiscruelty.AndthenIthoughtofIan.
Inthesilenceandinmydesperationtonotthinkaboutmy
brother,Ithoughtoftheknight—SirTerrlynn.Inherently,Iknewhewasthe
onewho’dspokenwhileinfrontofthekeep,theonewhohaddisemboweledthe
Descenter.“Didyoukilltheknight?”
“Ididwhathe’ddone.Slicedhimopenandlethimbleed.He
wasavampry,butitwasnotwithoutpain.”Casteel’seyesburnedwithgolden
fire.“AndthenIkilledhim.”
“Good,”Iwhispered.
Ameasureofsurpriseflickeredacrosshisface.“Therewasvery
littledignityinhisdeath.”
Thatwastrue.“Buthe’sdeadnow?”
Casteelnodded.
“Atleastitwasa…relativelyquickdeath.”Ididn’tfeel
evenremotelybadthattheknighthadsuffered.AndmaybeIshouldbeconcerned
aboutthat.Iprobablywouldbelater.Itookadeepbreath.“Howmanywere
lost?”
Howmanynameswouldbeaddedtothewalls?
“Fourwerekilled,inadditiontoMrs.Tulis.Sixseriously
wounded,buttheywillsurvive.”
Myheartached.“Whatoftheboy?He’sokay,right?”
Hisgazeturnedsheltered,andsuddenlyIrememberedwhat
Casteelhadsaid.Hedidn’tlettheboygo.Iroseontomyelbows.
“Theboyisokay,right?That’stheonlyreasonwhyIlaiddownmydagger.
Chaneysaidhe’dlettheboygo.”
“HedidwhatallAscendeddo.Helied.”Tensionbracketed
hismouthasIjerked.“Theonlyblessingwasthatitwasaquickdeath.His
neckwassnapped.Hewasn’tfedupon.”
Forseveralmoments,Icouldn’tthink.Icouldn’tevenspeak
astheimageoftheboy’swide,panic-strickengazefilledmymind.Horrorand
griefseizedme.“Why?”Aknotcloggedmythroat.“Whywouldhedothat?Why
killhimandnotevenfeeduponhim?Whatwasthepoint?”
“You’reaskingforananswertosomethingthatnotevenI
canfullycomprehend,”herepliedquietly.“Thevamprydiditbecausehewanted
toandbecausehecould.”
Closingmyeyes,Ipressedmylipstogetherasmyheart
squeezedandtwisted.Tearsburnedthebacksofmyeyes,andIwantedto—I
wantedtoscream.Iwantedtorageatthepointlessnessofitall.
Ididn’tknowhowlongittookmetogaincontrol,tonot
burstintotearsorfallheadfirstintothehelplessness-inducedrage.I’ddone
allthatIcouldtosavethatboy,anditmeantnothing.Nothing.He
wouldstillbejustanothernameaddedtoalong,endlesslistofthem.Andfor
what?AndtheTulis’sson?Iknewinmyheartofheartsthathetoowasdead.I
exhaledraggedlyasIlaybackdown,smoothingmyhandsovermyface.Mycheeks
weredamp.
Casteelremainedquiet,silentandwatchful.WhenIopened
myeyesagain,Iasked,“Whatwashisname?”
“RenfernOctis,”hetoldme.
“Andhisparents?”Iaskedhoarsely.
“Hisparentsdiedsometimeago.HismotherbyaCraven,and
hisfathertosickness.Hisuncleandauntcaredforhim.”
“Gods,”Iwhispered,staringattherafters.“I…Isawthe
knighttakehim.Icouldn’tstandbyandwatchthathappen.”
“I’dhopedthatyouwould,butIwouldn’thaveexpectedanything
lessfromyou.”
Myblearygazeshiftedtohim.Thewordsweren’tspokenin
annoyance.IthoughtIdetectedrespectinthem.“That’swhyyougavememy
dagger.”
Casteelsaidnothing.
“Do…doyouhaveit?”
Henodded.
Istartedtoaskforitback,butCasteelsaid,“Nomatter
howmuchdeathI’veseen,itnevergetseasier.”Hislasheslowered,shielding
hisgaze.“It’sneverlessshocking.I’mgladforthat,becauseIthinkifit
everdoesstopshockingme,Imightstopvaluinglife.So,Iwelcomethatshock
andthegrief.Ifnot,IwouldbenobetterthananAscended.”
WhatI’dsaidtohimtheotherdaysouredonmytongue.“I
knowyou’renotlikethem—liketheAscended.Ishouldn’thavesaidthattoyou.”
Casteelstaredatmeforsolong,Istartedtogrow
concerned.Butthenhesaid,“You’renotgoingtoaskifyou’llturnintoa
Cravennow?You’renotangrythatIgaveyoumyblood?”
“IknowI’mnotgoingtoturnintoaCraven.”Isatup
easilyandleanedagainsttheheadboard.“Didyouusecompulsion?”
“Nottomakeyoudrink.Youweresurprisinglyamicableto
that,whichcausedmetoworryallthemore,”hetoldme,andIwassuddenly
gratefulthatIhadnorecollectionofthat.“Onceyoustartedtofeel
the…effectsofmyblood,Ididusecompulsiontohelpyousleep.Iassumedyou
wouldappreciatethat.”
ConsideringhowI’dreactedthelasttime,Idid
appreciatethat.Idrewalegupundertheblanket.“I’mnotmad.Idon’thurt,
andIwould’vebeeninalotofpain.”Ilookedatmyarmagain,stillshocked
toseenothingmorethanfaintmarks.“Howoftencanyougivemeyourblood?I
mean,wouldsomethinghappenifyoucontinuedtodoit?”
“IhopethatIdon’thavetocontinuedoingso,butnothing
wouldhappenifIdid.”Hislipspursed.“Oratleast,Idon’tthinkso.”
“Whatdoyoumeanby‘atleast’youthinkthat?”
“Atlantiansdon’toftensharetheirbloodwithmortals,not
evenhalf-Atlantians.”Hesatontheedgeofthebed.“Infact,it’sforbidden.”
“Isitbecauseof
yourbloodline?”
“Ourblooddoesn’thavemuchimpactbeyonditshealingand
aphrodisiacqualitiestomortals.Butyou’renotcompletelymortal.Iimagineit
maystrengthenthepartofyouthatisAtlantian,atleasttemporarily.”He
facedmeagain.“Butthereisaworrythatsharingone’sbloodwiththosewho
havemortalbloodcouldeventuallyleadtoanAscension.”
“Oh.”Icouldseewhythatwouldbeaconcern.“Wouldyou
getintroubleifitwasdiscovered?”
“Youdon’tneedtoworryaboutthat.”
“ButIdo,”Iblurtedout.
Aneyebrowraised.“Thenyou’reworriedaboutme,Princess?”
Myskinflushed.“Ifsomethinghappenstoyou,thenthat
wouldjeopardizewhatIwant.”
Hisheadtiltedashestudiedme.Atoo-longstretchofsilence
passed.“NoonewhosawhowinjuredyouwereeithertimewilleversharethatI
gavemybloodtoyou.”
Thatwasgoodtoknow.“Butwhatwouldhappen?”
Hesighed.“Kieranwasright.Youdoaskalotof
questions.”
Myeyesnarrowed.“Curiosityisasignofintelligence.”
Casteelsmiledatthat.“ThatiswhatIhear.”Thedimple
disappeared.“TheKingandQueenwouldbeunhappy,butsinceI’mtheirson,
theywouldprobablyyellatme,andthat’saboutit.”
Iwasn’tsureifhewastellingthetruthornot.
“Ifiguredyou’dbemad,”headmitted.
“HowcanIbemadwhenyoumadesurethatI’mnotinpain?”
Iasked,andItrulywasn’t.“Itdidn’thurtme.Itdoesn’thurtyou,right?
I’mjustgladIdon’thaveathrobbingheadacheand…”Ilookedatthefaint
marks.“Iwon’thaveyetanotherscar.”
Twofingerspressedundermychinandliftedmygazetohis.
“Yourscarsarebeautiful,”hesaid,andtherewasaswift,swellingmotionin
mychestthatcouldn’tbedeflatednomatterwhatmybrainyelledatit.“ButI
refusetoallowyourbodytobescarredagain.”
Myheartstartedthumpingoncemore.“Yousaythatlikeyou
meanit.”
“BecauseIdo.”
Iwantedthattobetrue,andthatwasenoughofawarning.
Ileanedawayfromhisgrasp.“When…whendoweleave?”
“Naillisoutscouting,makingsurethereisnounexpectedtraffic
onthewesternroads.Ican’tleaveuntilIamsurethattherearenoimmediate
threatstothekeep,”heexplained,andthatmadesense.“Ihopewewillbe
abletoleavebymorningorthefollowingdayatthelatest.”
Nodding,Iclosedmyeyes.WhenIstartedtoseeLord
Chaney’sface,IshiftedmythoughtsbeyondthattowhatI’dlearnedbeforethe
Ascendedarrived.I’dlikelydiscoveredwhatbloodlineIdescendedfrom—aline
ofwarriors.
Theneedtogetup,tomove—todosomething—hitmeagain,but
thistime,Ihadapurpose.“Aretheinjuredonesinpain?”
Casteel’sbrowsknitted.“They’vebeengivenwhatwehaveon
handtoeasetheirpain.Magdalefttoretrievemore.”
“Icanhelpthem.”Iscootedtotheothersideofthebed
andpushedtheblanketoff.
Herose.“Poppy—”
“Icanhelp,”Irepeated,comingtomyfeet.“YouknowI
can.Whyshouldn’tI?”Iraisedmybrowswhenhedidn’tanswer.“There’sno
goodreasonforwhyIshouldn’t.”
“Otherthanthatyouwerejustinjured?”hesuggested.
“I’mfine,thankstoyou.”Myhandsopenedandclosedatmy
sides.“YouknowIhatednotbeingabletousemyabilitiesbefore,beingforced
todonothingwhenIcanhelppeople.Don’tdothattome.”
“I’mnottryingtodothattoyou.”
“Thenwhatareyoutryingtodo?”Idemanded.“Theseare
yourpeople.Iwanttohelpthem.Letmedothat.”
“Youdon’tunderstand.”Hethrustahandthroughhishair.
“Thepeopleheredon’tknowyou.Theydon’t—”
“Trustme?Likeme?Ialreadyknewthat,Casteel.Idon’t
needeitherofthosethings.That’snotwhyIwanttousemyabilities.”
CasteelfellquietandstaredatmeforsolongthatIbraced
foranargument.“Thenyoushouldgetchanged,”hesaid,turningaway.“I’llget
jealousifanyoneelseseeshowprettyyourlegsare.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter17
IfoundmyselfinborrowedclothingoncemoreasCasteeland
Ilefttheroom.Theheavysweaterwasadeep,forestgreen,warmandsoft,but
thistime,thepantswereasizeortwotoobig.Gatheredaroundmywaistwith
goldrope,thebreecheswerebaggythroughtheentireleg.Iwaspositivethe
tiewasnormallyusedtoholdcurtainsbackfromawindow.Ifeltalittle
foolish,likeasmallchildplayingdress-upinadult’sclothing,butIwasn’t
goingtocomplain.Theclotheswerewarmandclean,smellingoflemongrass.
Aswereachedthebottomofthestairway,Casteeltookmyhand
inhis.Achargeofawarenessseemedtopassbetweenourjoinedpalms,traveling
upmyarm.IglancedupatCasteelinsurprise.
Hestareddownatme,lipspartedenoughthatIcouldsee
thehintoffangs.Theamberhueofhiseyeswasluminousinthedimstairwell.
“Sparks,”hemurmured.
“What?”
Smilingslightly,heshookhishead.“Come.Thereis
somethingIwanttogiveyouwhenyou’redonewiththeinjured.”
CasteelpushedopenthedoorbeforeIcouldfurtherquestion
himaboutwhathe’dmeantorwhatheplannedtogiveme
Peoplehuddledaroundtheopendoorsofthefrontentrance
ofthekeep,staringout.Windhadblowninadustingofsnow,butnooneseemed
tooawareofthecoldaircreepingin.
“Whataretheylookingat?”Iasked.
“Somethingunexpected,”Casteelreplied,andmybrows
knittedinafrown.
Nowbeyondcurious,Istartedtowardthedoors.Casteel
didn’tstopme.BecomingawareofthePrince’sarrival,thepeopleparted,
bowingatthewaist,theirpalefacesanddistractedgazesreturningtothe
outside.
Walkingforward,Isawmorestandingoutside,armswrapped
tightlyaroundtheirwaists.Theyfacedthestable.Asthebrightmorningrays
stretchedacrossthesnow-coveredground,weroundedthecornerofthekeep.
Icametoacompletestop,myhandgoinglaxinCasteel’s
grip.
Aheadofus,wherethespacehadbeenemptied,whereLord
Chaneyhadfoundmethenightbefore,wasatree.
Mygazelifted,followingthewide,glisteningbarkandover
thethicklimbsstretchingastallasthekeep,heavywithleavesgleaming
crimsoninthebrightmorningsun.
Thiswasnofreshlyplantedsapling.Thetreewaswell
rooted,asifithadstoodtherefordecades,ifnothundredsofyears.Moisture
seepedthroughthebark,beadedandrolledslowlytothetipsoftheleaves,
fallingindropletsofred,splashingagainstthesnow.
Abloodtree.
“How?”Iwhisperedeventhoughnooneknewhowthetreesin
theBloodForestgrew,whytheybled.Whydidonegrowhereovernight,where
onehadn’tstoodbefore?
“They’resayingit’sanomen,”Casteelansweredquietly.
“Ofwhat?”
“Thatthegodsarewatching.”Hisgriptightenedonmyhand
asIshivered.“Thateventhoughtheystillslumber,theyaresignalingthata
greatchangeiscoming.”
“Didyouhappentoforgetaboutthebloodtree?”Iaskedas
wereturnedtothekeep.“Andthat’swhyyoudidn’tmentionit?”
“Tobehonest,Ihadmorepressingconcerns.”
Iarchedabrow.“Really?Whatismorepressingthananomen
sentbythegods?”
“Youwakingupuninjuredwasmorepressingthanavague,
ratherunhelpfulmessagefromthegods,”herepliedasweenteredthebanquet
hall,andIalmosttripped.
“Youcannotbeserious,”Istated.
Hefrowned.“I’mcompletelyserious.”
Therewasnowayhewasbeinghonest.Theomenwasfarmore
importantthananythingthathadtodowithme.Whenwasthelasttimethegods
hadsentanysortofmessage?Therewasnothinginthehistorybooks,andeven
iftherehadbeen,itwasdoubtfulitwould’vebeenaccurate.
Buttherewassomethingmorepressingthanthebloodtree,
anditwaswhatawaitedushere.
Theinjuredhadbeenplacedinaroomadjacenttothebanquet
hall.Beforethedoorsevenopened,Icouldfeelthepainradiatingthroughthe
stonewalls.Mypulsetripped,eventhoughmystepsdidn’tslow.
Casteelsteppedinbeforeme,andwasimmediatelygreetedby
Alastir.
“Iseeyou’vereturned,”CasteelsaidasItookintheroom,
thoughtsofthebloodtreefading.Sixcotsweresetup,allofthemoccupied
bymen,exceptthelastone.Redstainedthebandagearoundherneck.Irecognized
her.Oneoftheknightshadgrabbedher,andIwassurprisedtoseethatshe
hadsurvived.Butherskinwasonlyashadeawayfromdeath,andshewas
impossiblystill.Anolderwomansatbesideher,handspressedtogetherasher
lipsmovedinasilentprayer.
“AndIseeIshould’vereturnedearlier,”Alastircommented.
“Youreturnedsoonenough,accordingtoElijah.”Casteel
claspedtheolderwolven’shand.“Iheardyouandyourmentookcareofthe
restoftheknights.”
Alastirnoddedabsentlyashesurveyedtheroom,lipssetin
athinline.“Damnthem.Thesepeopledidn’tdeservethis.”
“TheAscendedwillpay.”
“Willthey?”Alastirasked.
“Itisapromisethatwon’tbebroken,”Casteelanswered.
Alastirletoutashudderingbreathasheturnedtome.“I’m
gladtohearthatyouweresafelyreturned,Penellaphe,andthattheywere
unsuccessfulintheirattemptstoretrieveyou.”
Unsureofwhathe’dbeentold,InoddedasImurmuredmythanks.
Myskinbuzzedwiththeneedtomoveforward.Onlyone,thewoman,seemedto
havemovedbeyondpain.ItwistedtoCasteel.
Catchingmyeye,henodded.Ihurriedforward,tothefirst
man.Hewasanoldergentlemanwithmoregraythanblackinhishair.Ididn’t
knowwhathisinjurieswere,buthisunfocusedgrayeyestrackedme.Iopened
myself,suckinginasharpbreathasanguish,bothmentalandphysical,camefrom
thebedsandthoseperchedbesidethem.Itcrowdedouttheair,chokingandsuffocating.
Mygazebrieflyswepttothewomanandthentotheelderbesideher.Somewould
notleavethisroom.Othersknewthis.Handsgivingintoaslighttremor,I
focusedonthemanbeforeme.
“I’msorryaboutwhatwasdonetoyou,”Iwhispered,andthe
mansaidnotawordasIplacedmyhandonhis.
Normally,ittookafewmomentsformetocalluponthekind
ofmemoriesthatledtotheeasingofpain.I’dthinkofthesandybeachesof
theStroudSea,ofholdingmymother’shand.Butthistime,Ifeltwarmthin
theskinofmypalm.Ididn’thavetopulluponanything,onlythoughtof
takingthepain.Iknewthemomentmygiftreachedhim.Hismouthwentlaxas
hischestrosewithadeeper,steadierbreath.Iheldhishanduntiltheclouds
lefthiseyes.Hestared,butdidnotspeak,andneitherdidthemanbeside
him,onetooyoungtocarrythehauntedlookinhiseyes.Ieasedhispainfrom
whateverwoundstheblanketcoveredandfromwhatrandeeper.Grief.
Rawandpotent.
“Whodidyoulose?”Iaskedoncehe’dstoppedtrembling,aware
thatnoonewasspeaking.NotAlastir.NotCasteel,whoshadowedmethroughthe
room.
“My…mygrandfather,”hesaidhoarsely.“Howdidyou…howdid
youknow?”
Shakingmyhead,Iplacedhisarmbyhisside.“I’msorryfor
yourloss.”
EyesfollowedmeasImademywaytothenextmanandknelt.
Inthebackofmymind,IwonderedifitwasCasteel’sbloodthatmadeit
easierformetousemygiftorifitwasbecauseoftheCulling.Eitherway,I
washappytofindthatitworkedwithlittleeffort.Continuingtodwellupon
happiertimeswasnoteasywhendeathcloudedtheroom.
Themanbeforemewasslippinginandoutofconsciousness,
twitchingandmoaningsoftlyasIplacedmyhandonhis,channelingmyenergy
intohim.Hissweat-dampenedbrowssmoothedoutwithinseconds.
“Whatdidyoudo?”ayoungwomandemandedasshefelltoher
kneesbesidetheman,droppinganarmfulofcleantowels.“Whatdidshedo?”
“It’sokay.”Casteelplacedahandonhershoulder.“She
onlyeasedhispainlongenoughforMagdatoreturn.”
“Buthow…?”Shetrailedoff,herbrowneyeswideningasshe
placedahandoverherchest.
MeetingCasteel’sgaze,Iroseandwenttoanother,onewith
eyesofwinter.Awolven.Ihadnoideahowoldhewas,butinmortalyears,he
appearedtobeadecadeorsoolderthanme,hisonyx-huedskindrawninto
tenselines.Adeepslashranacrosshisbaredchest,whereaswordhadsliced
opentissueandmuscle.
“I’llheal,”hesaidgruffly.“Theothers,notaseasily.”
“Iknow.”Iknelt.“Thatdoesn’tmeanyouneedtobein
pain.”
“Isupposenot.”Curiosityseepedintohiseyesashelifted
hishand.
Ifoldedmineoverit,andagain,Isensedtherewaspain
thatrandeeper.Yearsandyears’worthofsorrow.Mypalmwarmedandtingled.
“Youalsolostsomeone.”
“Alongtimeago.”Hisbreathcaughtashisbreathing
slowed.“Now,Iunderstand.”
“Understandwhat?”
Hewasn’tlookingatme.IfollowedhisgazetoCasteel.Behind
him,Alastirstoodasifhecouldn’tbelievewhathewasseeing.Maybewe
should’vewarnedhim.
“Jasperwillbeinterested,”thewolvensaid,afaintgrin
appearingasheleanedhisheadbackagainsttheflatpillow.
“I’msurehewillbe,”Casteelcommented,eyeslightening.
“Bewell,Keev.”
Thewolvennodded,andIrose,curiousastowhoJasperwas
asImovedtothemanbesideKeev,theonethathadwatchedmetheentiretime.
Istartedforward.
“No,”themangrittedout,sweatcoursingdownhisface.His
eyeswereashadeofgoldenhazel.“Idon’twantyourtouch.”
Ihalted.
“Nooffense,myPrince.”Histoo-shallowbreathsfilledthe
silence.“Idon’twantthat.”
Casteelnodded.“It’sokay.”Hetouchedmylowerback,urging
meon.
Iwent,lookingovermyshoulderatthemortalwith
Atlantianblood.Hewatchedme,hisfacealreadyflushedwithfever.I
connectedwithhim,andimmediatelyseveredtheconnection.Thehot,acidic
burstofhatredandthebitternessofdistruststunnedme.Quicklylooking
away,Iswallowedasmysensesstretchedouttoeverycorneroftheroom,andI
stumbledunderthemixedrushofemotionsandtastes.Icedlemonade.Sour
andtartfruit.Vanilla.Sugar.Confusionandsurprise.Fearandawe.Distrust.
Amusement.Myheartstartedkickingagainstmyribs.
Casteel’shandflattenedagainstmybackasheglanceddown
atme.
“I’mokay,”IwhisperedasIcutofftheconnections,
focusingonlyonthetwowomeninfrontofme.
Theolderwoman,hereyesaspungoldandbrown,lookedup
atme,watchedmeasIshiftedtowardtheall-too-stillwomanonthecot.I
knewshewasmortal,oratleastpartially.AnAtlantianlikeCasteelwouldbe
healing,butshe…
Shecouldn’thavebeenallthatmucholderthanme,herskin
freeoflinesanduntouchedbyage.Iloweredmyself,eventhoughIsensed…nothing
fromthewoman.
“Youdon’thavetodothat,”theolderwomansaid.
Handhaltinginchesfromthewaxy,limphandofthewounded
woman,Ilookedacrossher.
“Iknow.”Sheswallowed.“Yourgiftswouldbewastedonmy
daughter.”
“I…”Ididn’tknowwhattosay.
Shegazeddownatthewoman,touchinghercheekandthenher
brow.“IheardofyoubeforeIcamehere.IlivedinMasadoniaforatime,afew
yearsago,”shesaid,surprisingme.“Theywhisperedaboutyou—thefamiliesof
thoseyouattended,thatis.”
Ipulledbackmyhand,awareofhowintentlyCasteelwas
listening.
“Theysaidyougavedignitytothosecursed.”Herskin
creasedasshesmiledatherdaughter.“Endedtheirpainbeforeyouendedtheir
suffering.Ididn’tbelievethem.”Ateardroppedontothewoman’schest.“I
didn’tbelieveanythingraisedbytheAscendedcouldgivesomethingofsuch
worth.Ididn’tbelieve.”Sheliftedhergazetomine.
Mybreathcaught.Hereyes…Flecksofgoldseemedtoburn
brighterasshestaredatme,staredstraightintome.
“Youareaseconddaughter,”shewhispered,sending
achillthroughme.“NotaMaidenbutChosennonetheless.”
Unsettledbytheemotionsofthoseintheroomandtheshadow
ofdeathwaitingtoclaimtheyoungwoman,Iwishedtogooutsidewherea
downpourcouldwashawaythecoatingonmyskin.
“Someofthemwereafraidofme,”IblurtedafterAlastir
hadclosedthedoorbehindus.“Thatguy—theonewhowouldn’tletmetouchhim?
Hedidn’ttrustmeatall,andIcouldfeeltheirfear.”
Casteel’sgazenarrowedonthedoor.“Theydon’tunderstand
whatyoucando.”
“They’veneverseenanythinglikethat.”Alastirjoinedus
byanemptytable,hisskinstillpale.“Ihaven’tseenanythinglikethat
in…”
“Notsincetherewereempathwarriors?”Casteelsurmised.“I
thinkthat’sthelinePenellapheisdescendedfrom.Afewofthemmust’ve
remainedinSolis.”
Alastirnoddedasheeyedme.“Whendidyourparentslearn
ofyourabilities?”Orwhendidyoufirstknowofthem?”
“Idon’tknowtheexactage,butitwasbeforeweleftthe
capital.Idon’tknowiftheAscendedknewwhatIcoulddoatthattime.”
“Andyouhaveabrother?”Alastirasked,andCasteel’shead
swiveledtowardhim.“Washeyourfull-bloodedbrother?”
“Ibelieveso,”Isaid,realizingthatsomeonemust’vetold
himaboutIanorthathe’dlearnedofhimwhenhefirstheardofme.“Butif
he’slikeme—half-Atlantian—thenwhywouldtheyhaveallowedhimtobecomean
Ascended?”
AlastirglancedbackatCasteel.“Yousureheis?”
“AssureasIcanbewithouthavingseentheAscension
myself.”
AthoughtfullookcrossedAlastir’sface.“It’sunlikely
theywould’veturnedhimifhewasofAtlantiandescent,but…strangerthings
havehappened.”HelookedoveratmeandthenturnedtoCasteel.“Hasshe
displayedanymoreoftheempathtraits?”
Casteelshookhishead,andIassumedthatAlastirreferred
tohowtheempathwarriorscouldsomehowusewhattheysensedagainstpeople.
“Butwhywouldtheybeafraid?”Iasked.“Theysawmehelpthe
firstperson.”
“Thepeople,eventhosewhohavelivedinSolis,canbewary
ofthingstheyhaven’tseenbeforeanddon’tunderstand,”Casteelexplained,
anditstruckmethenthatmaybetheirreactionwaswhyhehadn’twantedmeto
helpinthefirstplace.
“SomeinAtlantia,ouroldestwhosurvivedthewar,would
remembertheempaths.”Alastirtouchedthebackofachair,silentforamoment.
“Andthatcouldbeaproblem.I’msureyou’veseenthatdamntreeoutthere.
Thegodshavesentawarning.”
“Comenow,Alastir,whendidyoubecomesuchafatalist?”
IrritationflashedacrossCasteel’sfeatures.“Theomenisnotnecessarilya
warning.Changecanbegoodjustasmuchasitcanbebad.Andeitherway,it
hasnothingtodowithher.”
Damnstraight,thatomenhadnothingtodowithme.Themere
ideathatitdidwasridiculous.Icrossedmyarms.“Whywouldtheoldestof
theAtlantiansrememberingthewarriorsbeaproblem?”
“Youdon’thaveanythingtodowiththatomen.Agreat
changecomingdoesn’tnecessarilymeansomethingbad.”Casteel’sstance
widened.“Andtheempathwarriors’abilitiesweresometimesfeared,mainly
becauseverylittlecouldbehiddenfromthem.Andoutofallthebloodlines,
theyweretheclosesttothedeities.”
Alastirarchedabrow.“Andbecausetheycouldsiphonthe
energybehindtheemotions,”heelaborated.“Theycouldfeedonothersinthat
way.TheywereoftencalledSoulEaters.”
“SoulEaters?”Istiffened.“ButIcan’tdothat.Idon’t
getanythingfromthepeopleIhelp.Imean,Idon’tgetenergyoranything,
andIcan’tamplifyfear.”
“Iknowthat.Weknowthat,”Casteelreassured.
“Buttheydon’tknowthat.”Thewolvenpulledhishandfrom
thechairashegavemeafaintsmile.Itdidn’treachhiseyes.“Casteelisright.
Wejustneedtomakesuretheyunderstandthatyouarenotcapableofwhatyour
ancestorscoulddo.Andoncetheygettoknowyou,Ibelievetheywillno
longerthinkofthesmallpercentageofyourancestorsthatincitedfear.”
“Really?”Doubtfilledme.
Alastirnodded.“Truly.Thisisnotsomethingyouneedto
concernyourselfwith.”
Ireallyhopedthatwasthecasesincetherewasalready
enoughtoworryover.
HerefocusedonCasteel.“Anddon’tbesosurethattheomen
hasnothingtodowithher—withbothofyou.Youtwoaretobemarried.Will
thatnotusheringreatchange?”
Casteel’sbrowsroseashisexpressionturnedthoughtful.
“Well,youdohaveapointthere,”hesaid,andmyeyesnarrowed.“Areyou
headingoutsoon?”WhenAlastirnodded,hetookmyhandinhis,surprisingme
withhoweasilyhedid.Theactseemedalmostsecond-naturetohim,buteach
timeheheldmyhand,itwaslikearevelationtome.“Safetravels.Wewill
seeyouinSpessa’sEnd.”
“Safetravelstoyouboth.”Alastirplacedagentlehandon
myshoulder.“Thankyouforcomingtothepeople’said,evenifsomedidn’t
understandorappreciate.”
Inodded,uncomfortablewiththegratitude.
WepartedwayswithAlastir,walkingacrossthebanquet
hall.“IsheleavingforSpessa’sEndalready?”
“Whileyouwereresting,IspokewithEmil.Afterwhathappened,
wethoughtitwasbetterifwetraveledeastinsmallergroupstoavoiddrawing
attention.”
“Makessense,”Imurmured.“Youreallythinkthattheomen
hastodowithourmarriage?”
“Couldbe,”hesaid,butwewerenowhereprivateenoughfor
metopointoutthatthemarriagewasn’treal.Notinawaywhereitwould
usherinanygreatchange.
Unlessourplanworked.Thatwouldbringabout
greatchange.
Mythoughtsshiftedtowhatelsehadhappenedintheroom,
hopefullydissipatingthestill-oilyfeelingonmyskin.“Themotherinthere
saidthesamethingasthewomanintheRedPearl.ThatIwasaseconddaughter
butnotlikeIthought.”Glancingovermyshoulder,IsawAlastiratthedoor.
Thepoormanstilllookedlikeabreezemightknockhimover.“Ididn’tgetit
then,butnowIthinkshemeantIwassecond-generation.”
“WhatwomanintheRedPearl?”
“Theonewhosentmeuptotheroomthatyouwerein.
Obviously.”
Hisbrowssnappedtogetherashelookeddownatme.“Ihave
noideawhatwomanyou’retalkingabout.”
“Really?”Ireplied,tonedry.“Theoneyouhadsendmeto
yourroom.IthinkshewasaSeer—achangeling.”
“Ididn’thaveanywomansendyoutothatroom,especially
notachangeling,”hesaid.“IknewwhoyouwerethemomentIpulledthathood
back,butIhadnoonesendyoutomyroom.”
Istaredupathim.“Areyouserious?”
“WhywouldIlieaboutsomethinglikethat?Ialreadytold
youthatIknewwhoyouwerethatnight.”
“Thenhow…?”ItrailedoffasCasteelhungasharpleft,pushing
openadoorandpullingmeinsidearoomthatsmelledofsoilandherbs.The
doorclickedshutbehindus.Ilookedaround,spyingcansofvegetables,
bushelsofpotatoes,andsatchelsofdriedherbs.“Didyoujustpullmeintoa
pantry?”
“Idid.”Casteel’schindippedashesteppedintome.Dark
hairtoppledforwardontohisforehead.
Isteppedback,bumpingintoashelf.Jarsrattled.Hewas
sotall,Ihadtocranemyneckallthewaybacktomeethisgaze.“Why?”
“Iwantedamomentalone.”Heplacedhishandsonthecupboard
abovemyhead.“Withyou.”
Senseshyperaware,Iwatchedhimleaninasaconfusing
tremorofanticipationcoileditswaydownmyspine.“Andyouneededthis
momentaloneinapantry?”
Heturnedhisheadslightly,lininguphismouthwithmine.
“Ijustneeded.”
Tinyshivershiteverypartofme.Iopenedmymouthtotell
himthatwhateverheneededdidn’tinvolvehimandmeinapantry,butnothingcame
out.Noprotests.Nowarnings.Isimplystaredupathim,waitingand…wanting.
“Iknowhowhardthathadtobeforyou.”Hislashesswept
downashisbreathdancedovermylips.“Goingintherewithyourabilities,
openingyourselfuptotheirpain.”
Myfingerscurledaroundtheedgeofashelf.“Itwas
nothing.”
“That’salie,Princess.”Hismouthwascloser,justa
breathfrommine.“Youdiditeventhoughyoufelttheirfearanddistrust.It
waseverything.”
Ifeltmylipspart.“Andthat’swhatyouneededtotellme
inthepantry?”
Heshookhishead,causingmybreathtohitchwhenhislips
glancedoffthecornerofmine.“Iwasn’tdone.”
“Sorry,”Imurmured.“Please,continue.”
“Thankyouforyourpermission,”hereplied,andIcould
hearthesmileinhisvoice.“TherearemanytimeswhenI’minutteraweof
you.”
Istilled.Everypartofme.
“Ishouldn’tbesurprisedbywhatyou’recapableof,”he
wenton.“Whatyou’rewillingtodo.ButIam.I’malwaysinaweofyou.”
Atuggingsensationinmycheststolealittleofmybreath.
“Isthatwhatyouneededwhenyoupulledmeintothepantry?”
“I’mstillnotdone,Princess.”
Mypulsethrummed.“No?”
“No.”Hisforeheaddroppedtomine.“Thereisonemorething
Ineed.SomethingthatI’veneededfordays.Weeks.Months.Maybeforever.”The
bridgeofhisnosebrushedmine.“ButIknowyouwon’tallowit.Notlike
this.”
Thepoundinginmychestmovedlower.“What…whathaveyou
neededforsolong?”
“You.”
Ishuddered.
“So,maybe,justforafewminutes,whennooneis
looking—whenthere’snoonebutus—wecanpretend.”
Leaningintothecupboard,Ifeltdizzy,asifIweren’t
gettingenoughairintomylungs.“Pretend?”
“Wepretendthatthere’snoyesterday.Notomorrow.It’s
justus,rightnow,andIcanbeHawke,”hesaidintheheatedspacebetween
us.Ishookoncemore.Hetouchedmycheek,sendingaboltofawarenessthrough
me.Hisfingersdriftedovermychin,mylowerlip.“YoucanjustbePoppy,and
wecansimplyshareakiss.”
“Akiss?”
Henodded.“Justpretend.”Hislipsnowawhisperagainstmy
cheek.“Justakiss.”
Ishouldn’t.
Therehadtobeahundredreasonswhy.Itblurredthelines
ofwhowewere.I’dtoldhimitwouldneverhappenagain.Hewasusingme.I
wasusinghim.Kissingwasn’twise.EvenwithallthatIdidn’tknow,Iknew
enoughtorealizethatitneverstoppedwithatouchofthelips,evenwhenit
did.Therewasalwaysmore.Wanting.Needing.
AndIwasn’tsurehowIevenfeltabouthimsincemy
feelingstowardhimseemedtochangeeveryfiveminutes.Buteitherway,I
shouldn’tallowanythinglikethis.IfIdid,everythingwouldbeharder,even
moreconfusingthanitalreadywas.Tawnycouldperfectlysumupwhatitwas
nowintwowords:amess.
Butawomanwasabouttodie.
HermothersaidIwasstillChosen.
Amanintheredidn’twantmytouch.
Someinthatroomfearedme.
Hatedme.
IcouldstillfeelLordChaney’steethinmyflesheventhough
therewerenowounds.
Icouldstillseetheburningcoalofhiseyes,andfeelhow
Iwasnothingmorethananobjecttohim.Food.Sustenance.Athing.
AndIdidn’twanttofeelanyofthat.
IwantedtobaskinCasteel’saweofme,andmaybe…maybeIalready
knew,deepdown,howItrulyfeltabouthim.
“Justpretend?”Itrembledasthetipsofhisfingersskated
downthesideofmythroat,aroundtothenapeofmyneck.
“Pretend.”Hislipshoveredabovemineoncemore,right
there,teasing.
Iclosedmyeyes,myvoicebarelymorethanawhisper.
“Yes.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter18
Likebefore,thenightoftheRite,whenwe’dbeenunderthe
willowtreeinthegardensandI’daskedhimtokissme,hehadn’twasteda
moment.
Excepthe’dbeenHawkethen,andwehadn’tbeenpretending.
Hislipsbrushedovermine,onceandthentwice,so
incrediblysoftandgentlethatitthreatenedtounravelallpretenses.I
shudderedandfelthislipscurveagainstmine.Iknewhegrinned.Iknewthat
ifIopenedmyeyes,I’dseenthatinfuriatinglytemptingdimpleofhis.The
touchatthebackofmyneckandagainstmycheek,justbelowthescar,was
featherlightasheseemedtomapoutthefeelofmylipswithhis,slowly,
leisurelyreacquaintinghimself.Tinyshiversskitteredthroughme.
ButIwantedmore.Already.
Impatienceburnedthroughme.Liftingmyhandsfromthe
shelf,Igrippedthefrontofhistunicandpulledhimagainstme.“Ithought
youweregoingtokissme.”
“Isn’tthatwhatI’mdoing?”
Ishookmyhead.“That’snotwhatyoucando.”
Hechuckledagainstmylips.“You’reright.It’snot.”
Thenhetrulykissedme.
Heclaimedmylipsasifhewerestakingaclaimtomyvery
soul.Thepossibilitythathewasalreadywellonhiswaytodoingsoshould’ve
servedasadirewarning,butIwasfartooimmersed,fartoogoneatthefeel
ofhim,lostinhowdemandinghislipswere.Hetuggedonmylowerlipwithhis
fangs,urgingmylipstopart.Gasping,Iyieldedtohim.Thekissdeepened,
andhistongueslidovermine.Iletoutalittlebreathlessmoanagainsthis
hotmouth.Thetasteofhim,hissmell…allofhiminvadedme,scaldingme.
Wekissedandkissed,andI…Istillwantedmore.
Wantedtokeeppretendingasliquidfirepouredthroughme,erasingtheicy
touchofLordChaney,washingawaythesuffocatingfeeloftheroomwheredeath
hadsurelycomeandgonebynow,andalltheunknownofwhatawaited.
Heknewthis,sensedthis,andhegavemewhatIdesperately
needed.
Hishandfinally,finallymovedfrommycheek,trailing
down,smoothingovermybreast.Therewasareverencetohistouch,asifhe
worshipedmeasheslidhishandunderthehemofmysweater.Fleshagainst
flesh.Mybodyjerkedashisfingersskimmedoverthepatchworkofscarsand
thenmovedfartherup,overthelinesofmyribs,thebottomswellofmybreast.
Imoanedintohismouthashisthumbreachedtheturgidpeak.Sharpspikesof
pleasuretwistedthroughme.
Hemadeadeep,darksoundthatrumbledthroughmeasthe
handatmyneckdroppedtothesmallofmyback.Hepulledmeawayfromthecupboard,
againstthehardlengthofhisbody,andstill,hedevouredmewithhislips,
brandedmewithhistouch.Thehungerinhimshould’vescaredme,butallit
didwasinflamethesameneedwithinme.
Wewereonlypretending…
Butthisfeltsoveryreal.
Hefeltalltooreal,hislipsagainstmine,my
chin—histouchatmybreast,myback,andagainstmybody.Myheadfellbackas
hismouthtrailedablazingpathtothehealedbite.Ifeltthehotwetnessof
histongue,thewickedsharpnessofhisfangsashescrapedthemalongmy
flesh.Icriedout,myentirebodytensing,coilingindelightandforbidden
anticipation.
“Poppy,”hebreathed,maybepleaded.Iwasn’tsure.Histongue
flickedovermyskin.
Wouldhebiteme?
DidIwantthat?
WouldIstophim?
MybodyalreadyknewtheanswerasIreachedup,sinkingmy
handintothesoftstrandsofhishair.
“Youwantthat?”hewhisperedagainstmysensitiveskin.
“Don’tyou?”
Ishuddered,unabletoanswer.
“Youdo.”
Anachingpulsestolemybreath,andthen,inafeatof
impressivestrength,heshiftedhishandsundermythighsandliftedmeashe
turned.Mybackhitthedoorashehookedmylegsaroundhiswaist.Hisbodymet
mine,andhepressedin,thehardestpartsofhimagainstthesoftestpartsof
me.
Imoanedashismouthclosedovermyneck.Hedrewtheskin
betweenhissharpteeth,andmyhipsliftedfromthedoor,pushingagainsthis.
Hedrewharderontheskin,wringinganothercryfromdeepwithin
me,buthedidn’tbreaktheflesh.Hedidn’tdrawblood.Instead,heteasedand
taunteduntileverynerveendingfeltstretchedtoitsbreakingpoint,untilI
rockedagainsthim,withhim.
Andwhenhismouthfinallyreturnedtomine,Iknewwewereboth
quicklylosingcontrol.
Wewerepretending.
Evenashekissedasifhedrankfrommylips.Evenashe
groundagainstme,andIdugmyfingersintohisshouldersandthenthe
materialcoveringhischest.Wewerepretending.
Slowly,thekissesslowed,hishipsstillpinningmineto
thedoor.HewasbreathingasraggedlyasIwaswhenheliftedhismouthfrom
mine.“Ithink…Ithinkthatisenough.”
Wasit?
Lettingmyheadfallbackagainstthedoor,InoddedasI
swallowed.Ithadtobeenoughbecausethiswasinsanity—itwasleadingtomore
insanity.Itseemedlikehewasminutesawayfromstrippingmebareandtaking
meagainstthedoor.ItfeltlikeIwassecondsawayfrombegginghimto.My
griponhisshirtloosenedasIopenedmyeyes.
Casteelstareddownatme,hislipsswollen,eyesavivid,
moltengold.Gods,hewasshamelesslybeautiful,andhelookedasthoroughly
undoneasIfelt.
Hemadeadeep,rumblingsound.“Don’tlookatmelike
that.”
“Likewhat?”Ididn’trecognizethethroatyvoice.
“Likeyoudon’tthinkthatwasenough.”Hishandsmoothedover
myhip,cuppingmyrearashepulledmylowerbodyawayfromthedoorand
againsthisridgeofthickhardness.Hecaughtmygaspwithaquick,deepkiss
Iwantedtosinkinto.
Butthekissended,andhegentlyeasedmylegsdown.He
stayedcloseforseveralmoments,hisforeheadrestingagainstmineashe
smoothedthestrandsofmyhairbackwithhandsIsworetrembledslightly.My
kneesfeltoddlyweakwhenhetookastepback,puttingspacebetweenus.Our
gazesmet,andtheachingwantinmepoundedalongwithmyheart.
“Thatwas…”Ibitmylip,havingnoideawhatIwasgoingto
say.
“Youdon’thavetosayanything.”HereturnedtowhereI
stood,catchingastrandofmyhairandtuckingitbehindmyear.“It’s
probablybestthatwedon’t.”
“Right,”Iwhispered,wantingtopressmycheekintohis
handbutsomehowresisting.
Hesmiledslightly.“Idohavesomethingthatyouneed.A
gift.OneIplannedtogivetoyouwhenwelefttheroom.BeforeI
became…sidetracked.”
Sidetracked?Wasthatwhatthiswasforhim?Wasitmorefor
me?
“It’snotaring,”he
said.“Butit’ssomethingIthinkyou’llappreciatenonetheless.”
Mybrowsfurrowedinconfusion.“Whatkindofgift?”
“Thebestkind,”hesaid.“Retribution.”
IhadnoideahowCasteelcouldbesocoolandcollected
afterthatkiss,butasIglancedoverathim,helookedlikehe’djust
attendedareadingofTheHistoryofTheWarofTwoKingsandtheKingdom
ofSolis,whichwasasstimulatingaswatchinggrassgrow.
Itwasalmostlikewhathadoccurredinthepantrywasa
figmentofmyimagination,andifitweren’tforthefeelingofaching
unfulfillment,Iwouldseriouslybedoubtingwhathadhappened.Butitwasn’t.
Itwasreal.He’dkissedme,andhe’ddonesolikehisverylifedependedon
it.
Washetrulythatunaffected,andifso,whatwasthepoint
inpretending?
BeforeIcouldusemysenses,Casteelopenedaheavywooden
door.Themusty,dampscentwasimmediatelyrecognizable.
“Mygiftisinthedungeon?”Iasked,mystepsslowingaswe
madeourwaydownthecrampedstairwell.Mystomachchurnedatthescent.
“Itmayseemlikeastrangeplaceforagift,butyou’ll
understandinamoment.”
Ignoringtheparanoidvoicethatwhisperedthatthiswassome
sortoftrap,Imovedalong.Afteragreeingtothemarriage,Idoubtedhe
plannedtothrowmeintoacell.Still,itwasunsettlingtobehereagain,
whereI’dalmostdied.
Ashadowpeeledawayfromthewallaswereachedthetorch-lit
hall.ItwasKieran.Thewolven’spalegazeflickedfromCasteeltome.“How
areyoufeeling?”
“Okay.You?”Iaskedforsomereason,andthenfeltmy
cheeksflush.Therewasnowayhecouldknowwhat’dhappenedinthepantry,
evenwithhisextra-specialwolven—
Unlessheknewbecauseofthebond.
Ireallyneededtofigureoutmoreaboutthatbond.
Hislipscurvedintoagrin.“Justdandy.”Helookedathis
Prince.“Andyou?”
“Theansweristhesameaswhenyoulastasked,”Casteel
said,andmybrowspinched.
Iturnedtohim.“Wereyouinjured?”
“WouldyoufretwithworryifIwas?”
Thecornersofmylipsturneddown.No?Yes?“Not
particularly.”
“Ouch.”Hepressedahandtohischest.“Youwoundmeyet
again.”
“He’snotwounded,”Kierananswered.“Atleast,not
physically.Emotionally,Ibelieveyoulefthimshredded.”
Irolledmyeyes.“Thenwhyaskifhe’sokayifhe’snot
hurt?”
Kieranstartedtoreply,butCasteelbeathimtoit.“He’sa
worrywart.ConstantlyfearingthatI’vebeeninjuredorthatI’veoverexerted
myself.WantingtoknowifI’vegotteneighthoursofrestandeatenthree
squaremealsaday.”
“Yeah,that’sexactlyit,”Kieranreplieddrolly.
Casteelflashedhimagrinandthenmotionedtome.“Come.Your
giftawaits.”
Havingnoideawhatthetwoofthemweregoingonabout,I
trailedafterthePrince,beginningtosuspectwhatmygiftwas.Retribution.
Therichironscentofbloodwasheavyintheair.Fresh.Thesickeninglysweet
floralundertonelingeringbeneaththebloodconfirmedmysuspicionsbeforeI
evensawwhatawaitedmeinthecellCasteelhadstoppedinfrontof.
Chainedtothewall,armsspreadwideandlegsbound,stood
LordChaney.He’ddefinitelyseenbetterdays.Oneeyewasgone.Deepgouges
streakedhisface,causedbytheknifeI’dwielded.Bloodleakedfromhisparted
mouthinacontinuoustrickle.Hisshirthadbeensplitopen,revealingthat
thegashI’dseenearlierwaspartofthreedeepslashesinhischest.Claws
hadalsoscoredhisskinjustbelowhisthroatandacrosshisnarrowtorso.The
shacklesaroundhiswristsandankleswerespiky,diggingintohisskinand
drawingblood.Hehadtobeinimmeasurablepain.
Therewasn’tanounceofpityinmeasIstaredatthe
vampry.
“Youdidn’tkillhim,”Isaid,andtheAscendedopenedone
eye.Itwasmoreredthanblack.
“No.”Casteelleanedahipagainstthebars,anglinghis
bodytowardmine.“Iwantedto.Istilldo.Badly.Buthedidn’twoundme,it
wasn’tmyskinhetoreinto.Notmybloodhestole.”
MyheartwashammeringonceagainasIdraggedmygazefrom
thevamprytoCasteel.
“Retributionisyours,ifyouwantit,”hesaid.“Andif
not,Iwillbeyourblade,thethingthatendshismiserableexistence.It’s
yourchoice.”Reachingintohisboot,hepulledabladefreeandheldit
betweenus.Itwasmywolvendagger.“Eitherway,thisbelongstoyou,whether
itfindsitswayintotheheartofanAscendedtodayornot.”
Wordlessly,Icurledmyfingersaroundthebonehandle,welcoming
thecoolweightoncemore.Ilookedintothecellagain.
“Hedoesn’tspeaknow?”Iasked.TheAscendedhadn’tbeen
abletokeepquietbefore.
“Itoreouthistongue,”Kieranannounced,andbothCasteel
andIlookedathim.“What?”Thewolvenshrugged.“Heannoyedme.”
“Well,”Casteelmurmured.“Okay,then.”
TheAscendedmadeapitifulwhimper,drawingmygazebackto
him.Alltheempathywellingupinmychestnearlystrangledme.
Butitwasn’tforthemonsterbeforeme.
ItwasforMrs.Tulis,whoseneckhe’dsnappedwithouteven
somuchasathought.Andforherson,Tobias,whoIknewnolongerhada
future.ItwasforthemantheknighthadslaughteredonChaney’scommand,and
thosewho’ddied.Itwasfortheoneswholayintheroomoffthebanquethall,
andforthewomanwhowasmostlikelydeadbynow.Theburninmythroatandin
myeyeswasfortheboy,whotheAscendedhadkilledjustbecausehecould.
Justbecausehewantedto.
“Openthecell,”Iordered.
Kieransteppedforwardandunlockedthecelldoor,andmy
feetcarriedmein.
Perhapsthiswaswrong.DefinitelynotsomethingtheMaiden
woulddo,butIwasn’ttheMaidenanymore.Truthfully,I’dneverbeen.Buteven
so,alifeforalifewasn’tright.Iknewthat.JustasIknewthatthehand
thatnowheldthedaggerhadheldthehandofthewounded,easingpaininstead
ofcausingmore
CasteelorKierancouldendChaney’slife,ascouldany
numberofthosewithinthekeepwhowerealsoowedretribution.Theblood
didn’tneedtobeonmyhands.
Butbloodhadbeenspilledbecauseofme.
IstoppedinfrontofLordChaneyandlookedup,staring
intotheoneburningeye.Therewassomuchcoldnessthere.Theemptinesswas
vastasheglaredatme,strainingagainsttheshackles,drawingmorebloodas
heattemptedtoreachme.Areverberating,whininggroanemanatedfromthe
Ascended.Ifhecouldgetfree,hewouldcomeatmelikeaCraven,teethsnapping,
tearingintomyflesh.Hewouldkillmeinhishunger,consequencesbedamned.
WhatIwastotheAscendedwouldn’tmatter.Hewouldfeedandfeed,andifhe
hadn’tbeentheonetocometoNewHaven,hewouldcontinuetokillandkill.I
staredintotheeye,andallIsawwerehisvictims’faces,knowingthatmany
morewouldremainnameless.
Thedaggerpracticallyhummedagainstmypalm.
WhatI’ddonetoLordMazeenhadbeenanactborneofgrief
andrage,butitstillhadbeenanactofrevenge.Therehadbeensomethingin
thecoreofwhoIwasthathadallowedmetostriketheAscendeddown.Whatever
itwas,itwassomethingthatCasteelrecognized.Itwaswhyhehadgivenme
thisgift.HeknewIwascapable,andmaybethatshoulddisturbme.It
probablywouldlater.
Ormaybeitwouldn’t.
Inolongerknewwhatwouldhauntme,ifwhatusedtokeepme
upatnightstillwould.Iwaschanging,notjustdaybyday,buthourbyhour
itseemed.AndwhathadgovernedmebeforewhenIworetheveil,nolonger
ruledovermenow.
IheldLordChaney’sgaze.Ididn’tlookaway.Ididn’tsay
awordasIacceptedthePrince’sgift,thrustingthebloodstoneintotheheart
oftheAscended.
Iwatcheduntiltheredglowfadedfromhiseye.Iwatched
ashisfleshcrackedandpeeledback,flakingoffandscatteringasthe
shacklesclatteredagainstthestonewall.Ididn’tturnuntilnothingremained
butafinedustingofash,driftingslowlytothefloor.
Sometimelater,Isatatthedeskinthelibrary,skimming
theAtlantianrecords.Ibarelysawtheletters,eventheonesIcouldread.My
thoughtswereinamilliondifferentplaces,andIcouldn’tfocus.Sittingback
inthechair,Isighedheavily.
“Istheresomethingyouwantedtodiscuss?”Kieranlookedup
fromwhateverbookhehadbeenthumbingthrough.Casteelhadlefthimincharge
ofmewhilehemetwiththefamiliesofthosewhohadlostalovedone.He
hadn’taskedifIwantedtotakepart,butIhadenoughcommonsensetorealize
thatmypresencewouldeitherbeunwelcomedoradistraction.Whathewasdoing
rightnowwasn’taboutme.
“Oristheresomethingyouwanttoask?”Kieranadded.“I’m
surethereissomethingyou’dliketoask.”
Ifrownedatthewolven.“There’snothingIwanttoask.”
“Thenwhyareyousighingeveryfiveminutes?”
“I’mnotsighingeveryfiveminutes.Actually,thereissomething
Iwanttoask,”Irealized,andhisexpressionturnedbland.“Thisbondyou
havewithCasteel.Whatdoesitactuallyentail?Likeareyouabletoknowhis
thoughts?Ifsomethingweretohappentohim,doesithappentoyou.”
“Ishouldn’tbesurprisedbyhowincrediblyrandomthatwas,
butIam.”
“You’rewelcome,”Iquipped.
Heclosedthebook.“Ican’treadCasteel’sthoughts,nor
canhereadmine.”
Thankthegods.
“Icansensehisemotions,probablyinawaysimilartohow
youcanreadothers.Andhecansensemine,”hecontinued.“Ifsomethingwere
tohappentohim,ifhewereweakenedseverely,thebondwouldallowhimto
pullenergyfromme.”
Itippedforward.“Andwhenhewasheldcaptive?”
Kierandidn’tanswerforalongmoment.“Whenheleft
Atlantia,Ihadnoideawhathewasabout.Hedidn’twantmetogo,expressly
forbadeit,actually.”
“Andyoulistened?”
“HeforbadeitasmyPrince.EvenIhavetoobeyattimes.”
Hegrinned.“IwishIhadn’t—hell,ifI’dknownwhathewasgoingtodo,I
would’vedoneeverythingIcouldtomakehimunderstandhowidioticitwas.And
ifthathadn’tworked…”Kierandrewalegoffthecoffeetable.“Iknewhe’d
beeninjuredwhenIsuddenlyfellsick,withoutanywarning.Iknewitwasno
simpleinjurywhenthesicknessrobbedmeofallmystrength.Iknewhe’dbeen
capturedwhenIcouldnolongerwalk,andnoamountoffoodorwatercouldease
thehungerorkeeptheweightonme.”
“Mygods,”Iwhispered.“Hewasheldfor—”
“Fivedecades,”Kieransaid.
“Andyouwere…youwereillthatentiretime?”
Henodded.
“Ishisbrother…isPrinceMalikbonded?”
Kieran’sfeatureshardenedandthensmoothedout.“Thewolven
hewasbondedtodiedwhileattemptingtofreehim.”
Sittingback,Idraggedmyhandsdownmyface.“Whatwould
happenifheweretodie?Ifyoudied?”
“Ifeitherofusweretodie,theotherwouldbeweakened
butwouldeventuallyrecover.”
“So,whatdoesthebondreallydo?Passesenergybetweenyou
ifyouneedit?”
Henodded.“ThebondisanoaththatrequiresthatIobeyhim
andprotecthim,evenatthecostofmyownlife.Nothingalivetoday
supersedesthosebonds.”
“Andwillhedothesameforyou?”
“Hewould.It’snotrequired,butallelementalswhoare
bondedwould.”
Thinkingthatover,Icarefullyclosedtherecordbook.“How
didthebondsgetstarted?”
“Thegods,”heanswered.“Whentheirchildren—the
deities—werefirstborninthisland,theysummonedtheoncewildkiyouwolves
andgavethemmortalformssotheycouldserveastheirprotectorsandguides
inaworldthatwasunknowntothem.Theywerethefirstwolven.Eventually,as
theelementalsbegantooutnumberthedeities,thebondsshiftedtothem.”He
leanedforward,restinghisarmsonhisknees.“Notallelementalsarebonded.
Delanoisn’tbondedtoanelemental.”
“WhatofCasteel’sparents?”
“Theirwolvendiedinthewar.”
“Gods,”Iwhispered.“AndAlastir?Ishenotbonded?”
“Hewasuntilthewar,”hesaid,andthatwasallheneeded
tosayformetoknowthatwhoeverhehadbeenbondedtohadnotsurvived.“The
bondingdoesn’toftenoccurnow.It’snotrequiredofawolven,andmanyhave
simplychosennotto.Andifitwerestillrequired,therearesimplynot
enoughwolvenforthattooccurwidely.”
“Becauseofthewar?”
Kierannodded.
Iletmyheadfallbackagainstthechair.“Isthatwhythe
wolvenarethemostvocalabouttakingbacktheland?”
“Itis.”
“Theydon’twantwar.”Istaredattheceiling.“Theywant
retribution.”
Therewasnoreply.Theredidn’tneedtobe.Ialreadyknew
theanswer.
“Whataboutyou?”Iasked.“Whatdoyouwant?”
“IwantwhatCasteelwants.”
“Becauseofthebond?”Iarchedabrow.
“Becausewarshouldonlybealastresort,”heanswered.
“AndlikeCasteel,ifitcomestothat,Iwillhavetopickupmysword,butI
hopeitdoesnot.”
“Same,”Iwhispered,lettingmythoughtsdrift.“You’veseen
thebloodtree?”
“Ihave.”
“Casteelsaidtheothersaresayingit’sanomenofgreat
change.AlastirsaiditprobablyhastodowithmymarriagetoCasteel.”I
thoughtofhisfirstreaction.“Doyouthinkit’sawarning?”
Hiseyesmetmine.“Ithinkhe’sright.Yourmarriagewill
bringchangetobothkingdoms,onewayoranother.”
Onewayoranother.Whetherwesucceededandpreventedawar
orfailed.Ishivered.Neitherofusspokeafterthat.NotuntilIrosewhat
feltlikeasmalleternitylater.“There’ssomethingIwanttodo.”
Kieraneyedmeandthenstood.“Leadtheway.”
Hefollowedmeoutsidethelibraryandthroughthehall.Those
wepassedonthewaytothecommonareagaveusawideberth,andIcouldfeel
theirstares—somebrief,otherslonger.Ididn’tneedtoopenmysensestoknow
thatsomegazeswerethoseofdistrust.WordofwhatI’ddoneearliermust’ve
madeitsrounds.
Ikeptmyheadhighasthoseingroupswhisperedtoone
another.IfKieranheardthem,heshowednoreactionaswewalkedoutside,
underaskyshadedinvioletandthedeeperblueoftheencroachingnight.Not
wantingtoseethebloodtree,Ididn’tlooktowardthestables.Thewindhad
died,andtheonlysoundwasthesnowcrunchingundermyboots
Thewalkthroughthewoodsandtothechamberofnames
undergroundwassilent.KieransaidnothingasIpickedupthechiseland
hammerandbegansearchingforanemptyspace,findingitafterseveralminutes.
Halfwaydownthewall,totheleftoftheentrance,newnameshadbeencarved,
theetchingsstillcarryingalayerofstonedust.
ThelastnamewasRenfernOctis.
Chestaching,I
tracedhisnameandthenthedatesbelowit.He’donlybeeneleven.
Eleven.
Iplacedthechiselagainststoneandhammeredanameand
thentwomore,thelastafterIthoughtIwasfinished.Iknewnobirthdates,
butIaddedthelastdate.
Mrs.Tulis.
Herson,Tobias.
AndthenIcarvedMr.Tulis’snameintothewall.Hisdeath
maynothavecomeatthehandsoftheAscended,butitwastheywho’ddriven
himtohisdeath.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter19
Howcould—?
Momma!
Jerkinguprightwithascreamlodgedinmythroat,Ireached
outblindly,myhandsmackingonthenightstanduntilmyfingersclosedaround
thehandleofthewolvendagger.
“Poppy,”cameCasteel’ssleep-roughenedvoicefrombeside
me,startlingme.Whenhadhecomeback?IthadtohavebeenafterI’dfallen
asleep.“Isitanightmare?”
Swallowinghard,InoddedasIclosedmyeyes.Immediately,
Isawmymother’shorrifiedfaceandthepaininhergaze.Therewassomuch
blood—runningdownthefrontofhergown,pouringfromthewoundsinherchest.
Notbites.Not—
Chestsqueezingtootight,airwheezedfrommylungs.My
eyesflewopen,butIcouldswearIheardthescreams.Notshrieks.But
screams,andthescent…thescentofburningwood.
ThebedshiftedasCasteelsatup.Gently,hepriedmy
fingersfromthedagger.“I’mjustputtingthisdown.It’sstillwithinreach
incaseyouwanttostabme.”
Iwatchedhimleanoverme,placingitonmyotherside.“I
don’twanttostabyou,”Icroakedout.
“Thatwouldbeafirst,”heteased,andIhiccuppedashaky
laugh.“TrytorememberyousaidthatlaterwhenI’msureI’llgiveyoua
reasontostabme.”
Ishookmyhead,liftingshakinghandstomyface.“I’m
sorry.”Idraggedmyhairback.“Ididn’tmeantowakeyou.Iknowwehaveto
leaveearly.”
Delanohadreturnedaftertheawkwarddinnerinthebanquet
hall,wherepeopleeitherstaredorwhispereduntilCasteel’scoolgaze
silencedthem.TheroadswereclearenoughthatCasteelfeltitwassafeto
leaveNewHaven.
“WhatdidItellyoubefore?”Casteelasked.“Don’tapologize.
It’snotyourfault.Don’tworryaboutit.”
Thatwaseasiersaidthandone.
“Doyouthinkyoucangobacktosleep?”
“Yeah.”Ilaybackdown,curledonmyside.Theflamesin
thefireplacerippledsoftly,andthelongerIstaredatthem,themoreimages
fromthenightmarestartedtopiecethemselvestogether.Themist…ithadbeen
asthickassmoke.Ithadalmostsmelledlikeburntwoodandsomethingpungent.
Wasn’tthatwhatIanandIhadthoughtitwasatfirst?WasthatwhyI’dleft
tofindmyfather?Itriedtopicturehisface,toseehiseyes,butnomatter
howhardItried,Icouldn’t.AllIcouldseewasred.Somuchred—onthewalls
andpooledonthefloor,bodiesshreddedopen.ButnoCraven.Therehadbeenno
Cravenfeedingonthosebodies.Why?Whywastheresomuchblood—?
Asurgeofrestlessenergypouredbackthroughme,drumming
uptheresidualfearandpanic.Icouldn’tlayhere.Icouldn’tclosemyeyes.
Sittingup,Istartedtomovefromthebed,butCasteel
hookedhisarmaroundmywaist.“Ican’tlayhere.Ican’tsleep.Ijustneed—”
“Toforget.”Inthefire’sglow,hetouchedmycheek,
bringingmygazetohis.“Iknow.Igetit.Ido.”
Suckingintoo-shallowbreaths,Iknewheofallpeopledid
understand.Ifoldedmyhandsovermyface.“Idon’twanttothinkaboutthat
night.”Tearsburnedmythroat,andIhatedthem—hatedthisglaringweakness.
“Iwanttoforget.”
“Butyouneedtofeeltodothat.Youneedtoreplacethat
fearwithsomethingelse.That’swhyyouusedtoexplorethecityatnight,”he
said,pullingmyhandsawayfrommyface.“Butthere’snocityforyoutorun
offto.Allyouhaveisme.”
Allyouhaveisme.
Myhearttwisteditselfupintoaknot.
“Letmehelpyoureplacethefearandhelplessness.Ican
eraseit.Ipromise,”hewhispered,guidingmebackuntilIwaslyingdownonce
more.“Letmebeenough,atleastfortonight.”
“I…”Iranoutofwordsasheshiftedsoheblockedoutthe
fire’sglow,leavingmeinthedarknessoftheroom.
“There’sjustus.Nooneelse.”Hislipsbrushedmycheek,
causingmetogasp.“Likeearlier,inthepantry,wecanpretend.”
Iclosedmyeyes.
“Rightnow,inthedark,I’mjustHawke.”Hisarmeasedfrom
mywaistashishanddriftedovermyhipanddownmythigh,towherethegown
tangledaroundmylegs.“You’rejustPoppy,andIcanhelpyou.”
Maybeitwasthenightmare.Itcould’vebeenthedarkness
andthesudden,throbbingachethatsprangtolife.Orperhapsitwasbecause
inthedarknesswecouldbeHawkeandPoppy,withnopastandnofuture.And
pretending…pretendingmadenoneofthisreal.Maybeallofthosethingswere
thereasonIturnedmyheadtohis.Ourlipsbrushed.
“Pretend,”Iwhispered,andI…Ikissedhim.
Casteelletmeexplorehismouth,holdinghimselfstill,all
exceptforhishand.Heslowlydrewhispalmupmyhip,mystomach,andmoved
itbetweenmybreasts,draggingthehemofthegownupuntilitgatheredbelow
myneck.Coolairfollowed,teasingmyexposedskin.
Ikissedhim,tremblingwhenIfelthispalmonmybreast.
Thetiphardenedtoanalmostpainfulpoint.Histhumbmovedlazilyoverthe
peakandthentotheotherashesaid,“IwishyoucouldseewhatI’maboutto
do.”
Iwetmylipsashepulledaway,histhumbdraggingoverthe
rosy,puckeredskin.Thenhedidsomethingwithhisthumbandforefinger,
causingmyentirebodytojolt,andarushofwetwarmthtopoolbetweenmy
thighs.
“Gods,”Igasped.
“Mmm.”Hismouthcoastedalongtheskinofmyneckagain.
“Youlikethat?”
Therewasnopointinansweringthat.Heknewit,andhedid
itagain.Myhipsmovedonreflex,spurredonbytherapidlybuildingache
betweenmythighs.Hehadn’t—wehadn’t—touchedlikethissincethewoodsafter
I’dstabbedhim,butmybodyhadn’tforgotten.Iwasblossomingwithheat.
Hismouthclosedovermybreast,andthecombinationofhis
tongueandthesharpraspofhisfangscausedmetokickmyheadback.Abreathy
moanleftmeasmyeyespeeledopenwide.Hetuggedattheskinwithhismouth
ashishanddrifteddownmystomachandlower,overtheverycenterofme.It
wasthelightest,softesttouch,teasingandtaunting.
“You’reverywet,
Poppy,”hemurmuredagainsttheachingpeakofmybreast.“Ilikethat.Alot.”
Incapableofembarrassmentorbeingshockedbytherawness
ofhiswords,Icouldonlywhimperashisfingermovedinslow,lazystrokes.
“Ialsolikehowquicklyyourespondtomytouch.”Henipped
attheskinofmyotherbreastasheswirledhisthumbaroundthesensitive
flesh.“Wantmetodosomethingaboutit?”
Ipantedforbreath.“Yes.”
Casteelansweredbypressingdownonthebundleofnerves.
Cryingout,Iarchedagainsthishand,andIfeltlikeIwasdrenched,drowning
already.Justashismouthclosedovermybreastoncemore,heslippedafinger
insideme.Astrangledsortofsoundleftme,andtherewasnoroomforthoughts
ofanightfromlongagoorworriesforthemorningthatwasquicklyapproaching.
Myheartthunderedinmychest.
Hedraggedthatfingerinandoutasheliftedhishead,and
eventhoughIcouldn’tsee,Iknewhecould.Iknewhewatchedhishandbetween
myspreadthighs.Iknewhewasfixatedonwhathewasdoing,onthewayI
liftedmyhipstomeethisthrusts.Hewatchedasheeasedanotherfingerinto
thetightwetness.Myeyesdriftedshutagain,andIknewthiswaswhathe’d
wantedtodoearlier,inthepantry.Igaveintothis,intothewetheatand
thedarknessandthewickednessofhistouch.CasteelgroanedasIgroundmy
hipsagainsthishand.
“That’sit.”Hisvoicewasrough.“Ridemyfingers.”
Ididjustthat,rockingagainsthishandsasthestirrings
ofreleaseratchetedup.Thentension,stillpainfullyunfamiliar,spunand
spununtilitfeltliketoomuch.“Oh,gods,Ican’t…”Ipressedmyhips
againstthebed.
“Youcan.”Hekeptgoing,thrustinghisfingersinsideme.“You
will.”
Itwastoomuch,toointense,andtherewasnoescapingit.
Hehookedhisfingersdeepinsideme,andlavaflowedthroughmyblood.And
justwhenIthoughtIwouldsurelyeruptintoflames…
“That’sit.”Hisvoicewasgruffandthick.
Bitingdownonmylipasthetensioncurledandtwisted
deeper,tighter,Iburiedmyfaceagainstthecrookofhisarm.Hislips
brushedmycheekashepressedhisthumbtothetightbundleofnerves.Myhips
liftedfromthebedasallthetensionshattered.Itwaslikelightninginmy
veins.Thesweetestkindofagony,scatteringmythoughtsastherelease
rippledandeasedashewithdrewhisfingers.Satedandstunned,Iwentutterly
boneless,exhaustedandlimpasCasteelgatheredmeclose.Theblanketsettled
overme—overus—ashepulledmeagainsthischest.Undermycheek,hisheart
thuddedsteadily.
TheheartI’dpiercednotallthatlongago.
Casteelheldmetightly,closely,hishandcontinuously
slidingupanddownthelengthofmyspine.Ididn’tknowifheevenrealized
whatkindofcomforthisclosenessorhistouchbrought.Maybehedid,andthat
waswhyheremainedintheroomevenknowingthatIcouldwakehimatanypoint
inthenight.Therewereotherrooms,otherfarquieteranddefinitelyless
complicatedbeds,buthewashere.Heheldme,soothingmyraggednervesafter
chasingawaythelingeringhorrorofanightIwantednothingmorethanto
forget.Hehelpedmeforgetwhileofferingpleasureandblisstoreplacethe
fearandhopelessness,andhedidthiswhiletakingnothinginreturn.
Ifellbackasleep,intothedarknesswhereIwasjust
Poppy,andhewassimplyHawke.
Wewereleaving.
ForAtlantia.
Thosedark,privatemomentsinthemiddleofthenight
seemedlikeaneternityagoinsteadofmerehoursasItookatoo-shallow
breath.Istudiedthosewithus.NaillandDelanowerewithElijah,andIhad
noideaiftheywereinontheplanCasteelhadconcocted,soIremainedquiet.
I’dspentthebetterpartofthemorningstressingoverhowIwassupposedto
act.TheconcernthathadfadedintheaftermathofthearrivaloftheAscended
andeverythingelsehadnowreturnedwithavengeance.
“Wouldyoulikeanythingelsebeforeweleave?”Casteel
asked,andthenIfeltaslighttugonmybraid.“Poppy?”
Realizingthathewasspeakingtome,Ishookmyhead.“No.
I’mfine.Thankyou.”
BothKieranandCasteelstaredatme,andthesilence
stretchedonsolongthatIhadtolooktoseeiftheywerestillthere.
Lookingovermyshoulder,Ifoundbothofthemstaringdownatme,their
expressionsnearmirrorsofperplexity.
“What?”Idemanded.
“Nothing.”Casteelblinked.“You’reready,then?”
Inodded.
WatchingmeasifIwereacoiledsnakeabouttostrike,he
extendedhishand.Istartedtorisewithoutacceptinghispalmbutcaught
myself.Aquickglancetoldmethattheotherswaitednearthedoor.Figuring
thatrefusingsuchasimplegesturewouldn’tbeagoodstartatconvincingothers
thatweweretogether,Iplacedmyhandinhis.
Thecontactofhisskinagainstminesentanothercharged
joltthroughme.Myeyesflewtohis,buttherewasnoknowledgetobegained
fromhisheavilyhoodedgazethistimeashehelpedmestand.
“Iseverythingready?”Kieranasked.
“Itis,”hereplied.“Elijahthinkswe’llmakeitto
Spessa’sEndbytheendoftheweekifwedon’tmakealotofstops.”
“It’sdoable,”Kieranagreed.“Andadvisable.”
“ThepeopleherehaveonlyafewdaysbeforetheAscendedsend
otherslookingforher,”Casteelsaidashereachedbetweenus,pluckingupthe
edgeofmybraid.“They’llsendscoutsandprobablymoreknights.”Droppingmy
plaitovermyshoulder,hethenreachedformysatchel.
Kierannodded.“Magdareturnedearlierthismorning.She
saidshethinksmostwillbereadytotravelinadayorso.”
“Good.”Casteelglanceddownatme.Unsurewhattodo,I
decidedonsilenceasthebestcourseofaction.Afterall,itusedtobe
second-nature,eventhoughI’dstruggledtoremainquietwhenIfirstdonned
theveil.KieranthoughtIaskedalotofquestionsnow,therewouldbea
wolven-shapedholeinthewallinhisdesperationtogetawayfrommeifhe’d
knownmewhenIwasyounger.
Sendingmeacuriouslook,Casteelstartedtowardtheothers.
NaillandDelanonoddedinmydirection,sayingnothing.ItwasElijahwho
spoke.“Ihaven’tgottenachancetothankyouforwhatyoudid
yesterday—helpingthosewhoacceptedit.”
Shiftinguncomfortably,Iclearedmythroat.“IjusthopeI
helped.”
“Youdid.Painisthebiggestobstaclehealingfaces,and
yousteppinginwhenyoudidisabigreasonwhywewon’tbesittingaround
hereforlongerthanweshould.”Abigsmilepartedhisbeard.“Ialsohaven’t
gottenthechancetocongratulateeitherofyouontheupcomingnuptials.Tobe
honest,everydayIhalf-expectedtofindthePrinceslicedupinalltheways
amanfears.”
Iblinkedslowly.
Casteelchuckleddeeply.“You’renottheonlyone.I
expectedtobepickinguppiecesofmyself.”Heglanceddownatme,hislips
slightlyparted.“ButIwasoncetoldthatthebestrelationshipsaretheones
wherepassionsrunhigh.”
Mybrowsstartedtopucker.
“Iwonderwhotoldyouthat,”Kieransaid.
“Itwasme.”ElijahlaughedasheclappedhishandonKieran’s
shoulder,causingthewolventostumble.Skincrinkledaroundgolden-brown
hazeleyes,andeventhoughIwishedthetopicwasaboutanythingotherthan
this,Iwashappytoseehimsmileandlaughafterwhat’dhappenedhere.Butit
mademewonderifitwasbecausehe’dbecomesoaccustomedtothedeaththat
theeffectsweren’tlong-lasting.“Toldhimthatifawomanfightswiththat
kindofpassionandmakesyouworkthathardtoearnevenasmile,thenthat’s
thekindofwomanyouwantbyyoursideinandoutofthebedchamber.”
Mymouthopened,butItrulyhadnothingtosay.
“I’vealwaysthoughtyouhadawolvensomewhereinyour
bloodline,”Kierancommented.
Elijahscoffed.“Toldyoubefore,there’sjustpissand
whiskeyinmyline.”
“Maybethat’stherealbloodlineyoudescendfrom,”Casteel
murmuredasheledmepastthem.
Iraisedmybrowsbutsaidnothingasweenteredtheempty
hallandthenexitedoutintotheyard.Thesnowhadstopped,butmybreath
formedmistyclouds.Iwassogoingtoregretleavingmycloakbehind,even
soakedwiththestenchofCravenblood.
Aswemadeourwaytothestables,uneaseformeduponthe
sightofleavesthatglistenedlikerubiesinthesunlight.Noonewasoutthere
staringatitthismorning,butIcouldswearthebloodtreehadgrowneven
widerthanithadbeenthedaybefore.Crimsonhuedsapstillseepedacrossthe
snowinanetworkofthinlinesofred,remindingmeofveinsorroots.
Threehorseswereledoutalready,theirearsperkedasa
stablehandheldtheirreins,nervouslyglancingtowardthebloodtree.Casteel
walkeduspastthem,whereSettiwaitedinsidethestables.Themassiveblack
horsehadbeennamedaftertheGodofWar’swarhorse.Iusedtothinkthatthe
beautifulhorsehadbighoovestofill,butnow,knowingthetruth,Iimagined
Settifilledthemjustfine.
Asweapproachedthehorse,Casteelletgoofmyhand.My
palmmissedthewarmth,whichwassomethingI’dnevershare.Iwalkedupto
SettiasCasteelwalkedaroundtosecuremysatcheltowherehisownbaghung.
Mygazecrawledacrossthebarn,stoppingonapolewithadeepgroove.Knowing
whathadcausedthatmark,Iresistedthedesiretolookawayfromwhere
PhillipshadbeenkilledwithaboltfiredbyCasteel.ButImademyselflook,
toremember.Phillipshadsomehowfiguredoutthetruth,orattheveryleast,
thatCasteelwasnotwhoheclaimed.He’dtriedtohelpmeescape,butIhadn’t
listened.IhadnoideaifPhillipshadknownthetruthabouttheAscended.He
couldhave,butthatdidn’tmatter.Hewasdead,regardless.
Exhalingslowly,IsawtheverysamebowattachedtoSetti’s
side.ItwascurvedliketheonesI’dused,butthisonehadahandleandan
arrowalreadynockedinplace.TheweaponwasunlikeanyI’deverseen.Ithad
tobeAtlantian.
Iextendedmyhandtothehorse,allowinghimtosniffme.
“Rememberme?”
SettisniffedasCasteelfinishedwiththestraps.Thehorse
nudgedmyfingers,andIgrinnedasIgentlypattedthebridgeofhisnose.
“Ithinkhemissedyou.”Casteeljoinedme.“AndIthink
he’sbeenspoiledbyalltheattentionyou’veshowereduponhim.”
Ididn’tthinkitwaspossibletospoilanyanimaltoomuch.
Iscratchedhimbehindhisear.
Casteelwascloser,andoutofthecornerofmyeye,Isaw
himstrokeahanddownSetti’smane.Lookingtothebackofthebarn,he
loweredhishand.“I’llberightback.”
Nibblingonmylowerlip,Ipeekedovermyshoulder.Casteel
strodeacrossthebarntowhereanolderwomanhadappeared.Sheheldsomething
darkinherhands.Settinudgedmyfingersagain,demandingmyattention.
“Allright.Allright.”Iresumedpettinghim.“Sorry.”
Strokingthelong,gracefulneck,IsawthatDelanoand
Naillwerealreadymounted.Kieranwalkedtowardhishorse,butitdidn’t
appearasifElijahwascomingwithus.
Amomentlater,Casteelreturned.“Here,”hesaid.“You’re
goingtoneedthisuntilwereachSpessa’sEnd.”
Thisturnedouttobeacloak,ablackonelined
withsoftfur.Iturnedtotakeit,butCasteelmovedbehindme,drapingitover
myshoulders.
“Ihadoneoftheseamstressesmakeitsincesalvagingthe
oldonewasoutofthequestion,”hecontinuedashereachedaroundme.
Ididn’tdarebreathetoodeeplyashisfingersworkedthe
buttonsundermythroat.Itriednottofocusonhowclosehewasorhow—I
swallowedagaspasthebacksofhisfingersbrushedmybreasts,remindingme
oflastnight.Ireallydidn’tneedtothinkaboutthat.
Hisarmsgrazedmychest.Howmanybuttonswerethere?I
lookeddownandalmostgroaned.Thelineofshinyblackdiscsendedjustbelow
thechest.
“Justsoyouknow,IburneditalongwiththeCraven,”he
wenton,andmypulsethrummedashischingrazedmycheek.“Weluckedoutthat
oneoftheseamstressesalreadyhadthismostlyfinished.There.Now,you’llbe
lesslikelytospendtheentiretripbeggingformybodyheat.Though,I’dbe
morethanhappytoappeasesucharequest.”
Iwassurehewouldbe.“Thankyou,”Imurmured.
Hishandsslippedawayfromthebuttonstomyshouldersand
thendownmyarms,leavingshiversintheirwake.Shiversthatspreaddownmy
front.Lookingup,IsawElijahheadingourway,andIalmostwavedathimin
relief.
“Onemoment,”Casteelcalledout,andElijahstopped.Amoment
later,heturnedmeinhisarmssothatIwasfacinghim.“Areyouallright?”
Liftingmygazetohis,Ibrieflywonderedhowhecouldhave
suchincrediblythicklashes.“Yes.”
Hisgazesearchedmine.“You’rebeingveryquiet.”
Iwas,buthowdidIexplainthatitwasbecauseIhadno
ideahowIwassupposedtobehave?Iwassurethathe’dprobablyfindthat
silly,mylackofknowledgesogreatthatIhadnoideahowtoevenpretend.
“Isitwhatyoudidinthecell?”heasked.
“No,”Iansweredquickly.
“Isitthepeoplehere?”
Ishookmyhead.
Hisfeaturestensed.“Thenisitaboutlastnight?”
“No,”Isaidwithouthesitation.Probablytooquicklybased
onthesuddenflareoflightinhiseyes.“I’mjustalittletired.”
Hewatchedmeintently.“I’mnotsureit’sthat.”
“Itis,”Itoldhim.“It’snotwhathappenedlastnightor
anythingelse.YouknowIdidn’tgetalotofsleep.”
Heeyedmeinawaythatsaidhewasn’tquitesurehe
believedmyresponse,butafteramoment,henodded.Steppingback,hemotioned
forElijahtojoinus.
“Istillthinkyou’llmakegoodtime,”Elijahsaidashe
graspedSetti’sreins.
“Let’shopeso.”Casteel’shandssettledonmyhips.
Ifroze.
“Putonefootinthestirrup,”heremindedmegently.“And
thengrabthehorn.I’llliftyou.”
Feelingaboutsevendifferentkindsofinadequate,Ireached
upandgrippedthehorn.Mostpeoplelearnedtoridebythetimetheyhittheir
teens.
“You’renotfamiliarwithhorses,eh?”Elijahasked.
Ishookmyhead,expecting
tohearmockeryinhistone,orattheveryleast,disbelief.Ididn’thearany
ofthat.
“Neverwould’veguessedthat,seeingyouoverhereallcomfy
withthistemperamentalass.”
“Hey,”Casteelsaid.“Yousayingthingslikethatiswhy
he’satemperamentalasstowardsyou.”
ElijahlaughedasSetti’searslowered.“Makesurehe
teachesyouhowtoride,”hesaidasCasteelliftedmewithease.“Youseem
likeanatural.”
“That’sonanexceedinglylongto-dolistofthingsIplan
toteachher,”CasteelrepliedasIsettledinthesaddle.
Didhereallyplantodothat?Excitementsparked.IfI
couldrideandcontrolahorse,I’dbeabletotraveleasilyonceIwasfree.
Itwouldbeanecessaryskill,tobehonest.
Wait.
Whatweretheotherthingsheplanned?
ThegrinElijahsenttoCasteeldidn’tgounnoticed.“Ibet
youdo.”
Heatfloodedmyface,eventhoughIonlyhadaninklingof
whattheinnuendomeant.
“Youstillthinkyou’llhavethefirstgroupoutwithintwo
days?”Casteelaskedasheswungupbehindmewithstartlingease.Iwassure
ifItriedthat,I’dendupbelly-floppingacrossthesaddleandthensliding
offit.
“Ihopetogetthefirstgroupoutbytomorrowmorning,”
Elijahtoldhim.
“Good.I’llbewaitingforthemtoarriveinSpessa’sEnd
beforeIcontinueontoAtlantia.Atleastthen,Iwillfeelalittlebetter
aboutcrossingtheSkotos,”hesaid.“ButIdon’twantyoutowaittoolong.Just
becausethewesternroadsareclearnow,youknowtheywon’tstaythatwayfor
long.”
“AndyouknowI’mnotleavinguntilthelastoneiswellon
thewayhome.”
Thinkingofallthepeoplebeingforcedtoabandontheir
homessaddenedme.Itdidn’tmatterthatithadbeenplannedlongbeforemy
arrival.I’dspedupthoseplans.
“Iknow.Thatiswhyyou’vebeenentrustedwiththese
people.”CasteeltookthereinsElijahhandedhim.“Iexpecttoseeyouhome,
myfriend.”
“Youwill.”Elijahlookedatme.“KeepourPrinceinline
anddosovigilantly.Iexpecttohearmanystoriesthatinvolveyouthrowing
downwithhim.”
“Youreallydon’tneedtoencourageher.”Casteelcurledan
armaroundmywaist,andaheartbeatlater,Iwasnestledbetweenhisthighs,my
backpressedtohisfront.
AlthoughIhadn’t
forgottenaboutthelackofpersonalspacewhileonhorseback,mymemoriesof
ithaddimmed.Iwasn’tsureIneededthecloak,butIknewfrompast
experiencethattherewasnopointinsittingstraightasapole.AllIwould
succeedindoingwascausingmybacktoacheandmybonestofeeljostled.Andbesides,
Ididn’tthinkahappy…fiancéewouldpullawayfromtheirintendedhusband.
And,truthfully,Ididn’twantto.Ihadnoideahowmuchof
thatdesirehadtodowithavoidinghowuncomfortableitwouldbe,orifitwas
becauseoflastnight,hisgift,thepantry,thesecretsheshared,andallthe
momentsinbetween.
Elijahbenthisarm,pressinghisfisttohisheart.“From
bloodandash.”
“Wewillrise,”Casteelfinished,andmystomachdippedin
response.ThosewordswerethemarkoftheDarkOne,hispromisetohispeople
andhissupportersscatteredthroughoutthekingdomsthattheywouldriseonce
again.
Thosewordshadoncebeenaharbingerofchaos,thebringer
ofpainanddeath.Andnow,theDarkOnesatbehindme.
Iwastomarryhim.
Temporarily.
AndI’dallowedhimtokissme.Totouch.
Becausewewerepretending.
Noneofthiswasreal.
“Untilnexttime.”Elijahbowedinmydirection.
“Ihopeyourtravelsareuneventful,”Isaid,surprising
myself,andmaybeevenCasteel,becausehisarmtightenedinresponse.Imeant
it,because…well,IlikedthewayElijahalwayslaughed.
Evenwhenitannoyedme.
Andthepeopleheredidn’tneedtoexperienceanymore
violenceorheartbreak.
“AsdoI.”Elijahgrinned,steppingback.“ThoughIdoubt
sheneedsit,keephersafe,Prince.”
“Ialwayskeepwhatisminesafe,”Casteelmurmured,andmy
eyesnarrowedashegaveSettiasoftnudge.
Settitrottedforward.Theotherthreewerewaiting,andwe
endedupinthemiddleofthegroupaswerodeoutintotheyardandpassedthe
eeriewarningthegodshadleftbehind.Myheartmatchedthesteadythudof
Setti’shoovesasIgrippedthepommel.
“Whereareyourgloves?”Casteelasked.
Ifoundmyvoiceafteramoment.“Inthesatchel.”
“Theywon’tdoanygoodthere.”Heswitchedthereinstothe
handthatwasatmywaist,andthenhewashandingthemover.“Spessa’sEndis
farthersouth.Itwillbewarmerthere.”
Itookthegloves,slowlypullingthemonwhilemyheart
leapt.Upahead,theroofsofhomescameintoview.Sparingalookbehindme,I
sawonlytheedgesofthestonekeepbeforeittoodisappeared.
Themixtureofnervousnessandanticipationswirlinginside
mewasastrangecompanionasIturnedbackaround.Inafewminutes,onceweleft
theRisesurroundingNewHaven,therewouldbenomorechancestoescapeifI
wantedto.Wewouldbetravelingtoofartotheeast.Ihadtobefully
committedtothisdealI’dstruckwithCasteel—tohisplan.Becausenow,there
wasnoturningback.
“Bytheway,I’mnotyours,”Itoldhim.“Idon’tbelongto
anyonebutmyself.Nothingchangesthat.”
“WhatifIjustwantedapieceofyou?”Heshiftedthereins
tohisotherhand.“Atinypiecethatbelongedtome?IcanthinkofafewI
wouldlovetohave,Princess.”
Mycheekswarmed.“Ibetyoucan.”
Hislaughwasroughanddeep.“TellmewhatpieceofyouI
canhave.Itcanbeanypieceofyourchoosing.Whateveritis,I’lltakeit.”
Hischingrazedmycheek.“Itwillbemymostprizedpossession.”
Ididn’tofferCasteelapieceofmeaswerodeforward,joining
theothers.Therewasnoreasontobecausewhathedidn’tknowwasthathealready
heldtoomanyofthem.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter20
“You’vebeenentirelytooquiettoday,”Casteelpointedout
again,severalhoursintotheridetoSpessa’sEnd.
“HaveI?”Iasked,knowingfullwelltherewasnopoint
denyingit.Thebackofmynecktightened.Conversationhadhummedallaround
me.Jokeshadbeenshared.Playfulinsultswereoftentraded,andwhileCasteel
wastheirPrince,hisstatusdidn’tgivehimimmunity.Fewquestionsand
commentshadbeendirectedatme,mostlyaboutmytrainingandhowIwasable
tokeepithidden.OtherthanexplaininghowItrainedwithVikter,Iremained
silent.
Therewaslessopportunityformetomessupthatway.
“Youhave,”hesaid.
AwareofhowcloseDelanoandNaillwere,ridingonlyafew
pacesbehindus,Isaid,“I’vebeen…caughtupinthescenery.”
“Thescenery?”herepeated.“You’vebeenengrossedinstaring
at…trees?”
MybrowcreasedasInodded.Tallpinescrowdedtheroadto
Spessa’sEnd,growingsoclosetooneanother,theirbranchesstretchedfrom
treetotree.Verylittlecouldbeseenbeyondthem.
“Ihadnoideayouweresoinvestedinthecommon
evergreen.”
ThecornersofmylipsturneddownasIstiffened,pulling
awayfromwhereI’dbeenleaningintoCasteel.“Iwouldthinkyou’dbegrateful
thatI’mquiet.”
“WhyintheworldwouldyouthinkI’dbegratefulforthat?”
Isenthimanarchedbrowovermyshoulder.“Really?”I
drawledinalowvoice.
Hiseyesnarrowed,andasIreturnedtostaringatthe
snow-tippedpines,henudgedSettiforward.Thelargehorserespondedatonce,
drawingaheadofthegroup.“What’sreallygoingonwithyou?”heasked,his
voicelow.
“Ihavenoideawhatyou’retalkingabout.”Iliftedmyhead
attheflutterofwings.Abird,largerthanI’deverseen,tookflightfrom
thetopofoneofthepines,soaringgracefullyintothesky.Thewingspanwas
enormous,atleastseveralfeet.“Goodgods,whatkindofbirdisthat?”
“Idobelieveit’sasilverhawk.They’reknowntosnatch
smallanimalsandevenchildrenifthey’rehungryenough.”
Myeyeswidened.“I’dheardstoriesaboutbirdsthatcould
pickupchildren,butIthoughttheywerejusttales.”
“I’msuremanythingsinthesewoodsarethesubjectofsuch
tales,butthereisonlyonetaleI’minterestedinhearing.”Usinghisarm
aroundmywaisttotugmebackagainsthim,hisvoicewasjustabovemyearas
headded,“Andthatiswhyyou’resuddenlyasquietasaghost.”
“Doyouneedtoholdmethistightlytoaskthatquestion?”
Isnapped.
Hechuckled.“Theresheis—myPrincess.”
“I’vebeenherethiswholetime,andI’mnotyourPrincess.”
“Technically,youaremyPrincess,andno,you
haven’tbeenherethewholetime,”hereplied.“ThePoppyIknowisn’tquiet
andmeek.Atleastnottheonewithouttheveil.”
Istaredahead
mutinouslyashisobservationstrucktooclosetohomeforcomfort.
“AndthisPoppy,theonewhosaysnothing,onlyshowedup
thismorning,”hewenton.“Yousayit’snotbecauseyouchosetobetheone
whoendedthatbastardAscended’slife.Iknowyouwellenoughtobelieve
that.”
“Idon’tknowwhyyouthinkyouknowmesowell,”Iretorted,
eventhoughhedidknowmoreaboutmethananyone,includingVikter,Tawny,and
mybrother.
“Iknowthatyoudidwhatyoufeltwasrightandthatisthe
endofthat.You’renotonetowallowinyourchoices,”hesaid,andhewas
right.Ugh.“Yousaiditwasn’tbecauseoflastnight,andI’minclinedtobelieve
thattobethetruth.”
“IfIsaidIdidn’tcarewhatyoubelieve,woulditmakea
differenceandforceyoutobequiet?”
“No.”
Isighed.
“I’mawageringsortofman,soI’mwillingtobetithaseverything
todowithourunderstanding.”
Irritationflaredhotly.Whydidhehavetobesoobservant?
Itwasannoying.
“So,insteadoftellingmenothingiswrong,I’mhoping
you’llbehonestwithme.”
“I’mhopingthathawkreturns,andinsteadofsnatchingup
poorhelplessanimalsandchildren,itgrabsyou.”
Casteellaughed,thesoundrumblingthroughme.IknewifI
turnedaround,Iwouldseethehintoffangsandthosedamndimples.“Ifear
thatyourhopeswillgounanswered.”
“Asperusual,”Imuttered.
Heignoredthat.“I’mnotgoingtoletthisgo,andyouof
allpeopleshouldknowthatI’mpersistentwhenIwantsomething.”
Ashivercurleddownmyspine,andthehandthathadended
upbetweenthefoldsofmycloakatsomepointduringthejourney,slidfrommy
hiptomystomach.Swallowinghard,Iorderedmyselftothinkofanythingthat
didn’tinvolvehishandandhowlowitsatonmybelly.
“Talktome,Poppy,”hewhisperednearmyearashisfingers
begantomove.Everycellinmybodyseemedtofocusonthosedigits.“Please?”
Please
Thesoftrequestcaughtmeoffguard.Itwassoraretohear
thatwordpasshislips,evenbeforehisidentityhadbeenrevealed.Igavea
smallshakeofmyhead.“I…Idon’tknowhowtoact.”
Heangledhisheadsohecouldlookatme.“Whatdoyou
mean?”
Hisfingerswerestillmoving,tracingcirclesthatswept
abovemynavelandthenbelow.Myfacefelthot,andIwasn’tsureifitwas
duetoembarrassmentortheslow,lazypaceofhismovements,whichremindedme
toomuchofthosedark,earlymorninghours.“Idon’tknowhowI’msupposedto
behaveinawaythatwillconvinceothersthatwe’re…together.”
Hisfingershaltedforaheartbeatandthenstartedmoving
oncemore.“Youjustneedtobeyourself,Poppy.”
Thatsoundedeasiersaidthandone.“Beingmyselfwouldlikely
meanarguingwithyouconstantly—”
“Andthreateningtostabme,”heinterjected.“Iknow.”
“Howismethreateningtostabyougoingtoconvinceanyone
thatthisengagementisreal?”
“I’lladmit,thatwouldleadtheaveragepersontobelieve
therewerenofondfeelingsbetweenus,butnoonewouldbelievethatIwould
chooseasubmissiveMaidenovermybrother.They’dexpectmetofallfor
someoneasfieryassheiskind,brave…eventoafault.Someonewhopushes
back.”Hisfingersnowmovedupanddowninastraightline,butforonce,his
wordswerefarmoredistracting.“They’dexpectsomeonelikeyou,tobehonest.
NottheveiledMaiden.Thatisnotwhoyouare.”
Unsettledbywhathe’dsaid,mygriptightenedonthe
pommel.“You’reright.I’mnottheveiledMaiden.Notanymore,butI…”Mygaze
liftedtothestripofgraysky.“It’swhatI’musedto,Iguess.I’mnotused
tothis.”
“Iimagineyou’renotusedtoanyofthis,andIdon’tmean
thewholebeingkidnappedpart.”
Awrygrintwistedmylips.“Allofthisisnew.Thelackof
theveilandbeingallowedtospeakwheneverIwant,towhomeverIwant.Or
beingabletousemyabilitiesandnothidethem.Ican’tevenrememberthe
lasttimeIatesupperatatablewithmorethanjustoneortwopeople.I’mnot
usedtobeinginaroomfullofindividuals,beingthecenterofattention,yet
somehowstillinvisibletothem.I…”ItrailedoffbeforeIadmittedwhathad
founditswaytothesurface.Iwasn’tsureifevenIknewwhoIwaswithoutthe
veilandallitslimitations,becauseeventhoughtherewerestillrules,new
onestofollow,thiswasunlikeanythingbefore.“IguesswhatIwaslikeas
theMaiden—”
“WhatyouwereforcedtobelikeastheMaiden,”he
correctedsoftly.
Inodded.“Iguessit’swhatI’mcomfortablewithwhenI
don’tknowwhat’sexpectedofme.Andsilence—docility—wasalwaysexpected.”
“Butwasiteasy?”
Thesweepofhisfingers,driftingevenlower,snaggedmy
attention,sendingaflashofmoltenheatthroughmeandcausingmetowonder
ifIhadtheforesighttosetboundarieswiththiswholeagreement.Surely,
whathewasdoingwithhishandwouldn’tconvinceanyoneofourrelationship
sinceitwashiddenbeneaththecloak.
“Princess?”hemurmured,hislipsgrazingmyear.
Iexhaledshakily,
hopingthatwhatKieranhadsaidaboutCasteelandawolven’sabilitytoscent
desirewasgrosslyexaggerated.“I…Ioftenwantedtoscream—justscreamforno
goodreason,inthemiddleoftheGreatHallduringtheCityCouncilmeetings.
Iwould’velovedtohavescreamedrightinPriestessAnalia’sface.”
Hebarkedoutashort,roughlaugh.“Iwould’veexpecteda
farmoreviolentdesirewhenitcametothatbitch.AndIstilldon’tusethatword
often,yetIuseitproudlywhenitcomestoher.”
Igrinned,feelingasavagejoyatseeingthePriestess’s
eyeswidenwhenHawkehadputherinherplace.“AndI…Ihatedjuststanding
thereandlisteningtotheDukegetupsetbecauseIdidn’twalkquietly
enough—”
“Heseriouslylecturedyouaboutthat?”
“Yes.”Ilaughed,buttherewasnothingfunnyaboutanyof
this.“He’dlecturemeaboutanything.Findanyreasonforalesson.
Notstandingstraightenough.Beingtooquiet.Notspeakingquicklyenoughwhen
spokento—whenIwasallowedtorespond,whichwaseverchanging.I…”Ishookmy
head.“Iwantedtoscreaminhisface—no,that’snottrue.Iwantedtopunch
him.Often.Withmyfists.”Ipaused.“Withadagger.”
Casteelwassilentforamoment.“Howdidyoudealwithhim?
That’ssomethingIcan’twrapmyheadaround.You’renotweak.You’renota
pushover.That’sinherentlytheoppositeofwhoyouare.Howdidyouneverpush
back?”
Istiffened,feelingshamecreepin.“Icouldn’t.”
“Iknowthat,”heimmediatelyreassured.“Ididn’tmeanto
suggestthatyoucouldhave.Youweretrapped.JustlikeIwas,andifanyone
thinksyoushouldhave,thentheyhaveneverbeeninapositionwheretheyhad
todoanythingtosurvive.”
Irelaxedalittle.“Ijust…youknow,ittookacoupleof
timesformetolearnhowtodisassociatefromit.Iwouldbethere,butI
wouldthinkofsomething—anything—else.Sometimes,Ithoughtaboutalltheways
Iwouldonedaypayhimbackforeveryfoulthinghedidorsaid.Othertimes,
IimaginedtrainingwithVikter.Whenitwastoohardtofocus,Ijustcounted.
IwouldcountashighasIcould.”
Heseemedtohavestoppedbreathing.“I’mgladIkilled
him.”
“Me,too.”Iclearedmythroat.“Anyway,itwasn’talways
easy,butsometimes,itwas…easiertojustdowhattheywanted,tobewhatthey
expected.Iknowthatsoundsterrible.”
“Maybetothosewho’veneversurvivedacanetotheskinfor
noreason.”Hisvoicehadhardened.“Wealldowhatweneedtosurvive.Idid
countlessthingsIneverthoughtIwoulddo,”headmittedfreelywithoutan
ounceofshame.AndI…
Ienviedthat,butoursituationsweredifferent.Hiswasa
matterofsurvival,lifeanddeath.Minewasnotthat.“ButIthinkchoosingthe
easierpathiswhyIignoredmysuspicionsabouttheAscended,oratleast,it
helpedtodismissthem.”
“Idon’tthinkyouwerealoneinchoosingthatpath.I’m
suremanyothersinSolishavesharedyoursuspicions,butitwaseasierto
lookpastthem,evenifthatmeantsufferingorsacrifice.”
Inodded.“Becausethealternativewouldbetheupendingof
everythingyoubelievetobetrue.Andnotonlythat,itcomeswiththe
realizationofthepartyouplayed.Atleastforme,itdoes.Iwastotedout
tothepeople,putondisplaytoremindeveryonethatthegodscouldchoose
anyone—thattheytoocouldbeBlessedoneday.AndIalwaysknewIwasn’t
Chosen,”Iwhisperedthelastpart,mychestheavy.“ButIwentalongwithit.
Andthewholetime,theywerestealingchildrentofeedon.Takinggoodpeople
andturningthemintomonsters.TheeasierchoiceImadetoooftendidn’tmake
meapartoftheproblem.”
Casteelsaidnothing,buthisfingersstillmovedidly.
“Itmademeapartofthesystemthatboundanentire
kingdominchainscreatedoffearandfalsebeliefs.”Iturnedmycheektoward
him.“Youknowthat’strue.”
“Yes.”Hisbreathdancedalongthecornerofmylips.“Itis
true.”
Iloweredmygazetothehardenedsoiloftheroad.
“Butyouknowwhatelseistrue?Rightnow,youare
destroyinganintricatesectionofthesystemthathaschainedanentire
kingdomforhundredsofyears,”headded.“Youshouldneverforgetthatyou
wereonceanaccessory,butyoualsoshouldn’tforgetwhatyouarenowapart
of.”
Ilookedforward,atthenarrowroadaheadandthesnow-heavy
needles.“Butdoesthepresentreallymakeamendsforthepast?”
Casteeldidn’tanswerimmediately.“Whoisthejudgeof
that?Thegods?Theysleep.Society?Howcantheymakedecisionsunbiasedly
whentheyareprejudicedbytheirownsins?”hequestioned,andIhadnoanswer.
“Letmeaskyouthis.DoyoublameVikter?”
Ifrowned.“Forwhat?”
“Hewaslikeafathertoyou,Poppy.Hehadtoknowhowmuch
youstruggledwiththewholeMaidenthing.Evenifhedidn’trealizehowmuchyou
struggled,hehadtohaveseenit.”
ThelastconversationI’dhadwithVikter,rightbeforethe
attackattheRite,hadbeenabouthowItrulyfeltbeingtheMaiden.
“AndheknewwhattheDukewasdoingtoyou,didn’the?But
hedidn’tstopit,”headdedquietly.
Icranedmyheadtotheside.“Whatcouldhehavedone?If
hespokeonewordorintervened,hewould’vebeenfiredandostracized,and
thatisafateclosetoadeathsentence.Or,hewould’vebeenkilled.Andthen
Iwouldn’thavebeentrained.Ineverwould’velearnedhowtodefendmyself.
Vikterdideverythinghecould,”Idefendedvehemently.“Justlikemymother
andfatherdidthenighttheywerekilled.”
“Butonecouldarguethattherightthingwould’vebeento
intervene.TostoptheDukefromhurtingyou,”hesaid.“AndIknowI’mnotone
totalkaboutdoingtherightthing,buthecould’vechosenthemoredifficult
path.Eitherway,youdon’tholditagainsthim.Andifyoudid,you’veforgiven
him,right?”
Heartaching,Ifacedforward.“Therewasnothingtoforgive.
Buthe…youheardwhathesaidtomebeforehedied.”
“Heapologizedforfailingyou,”Casteelconfirmed.
Tearsburnedthebacksofmyeyes.Hislastwordsever
spokenwerebrutal.Ihadn’tregrettedwhatI’dsaidtohimbeforetheattack,
butnow?Now,IwishedIhadn’tspokensofreely.Iwoulddoanythingfor
Viktertohavediedfeelingasifhe’ddonerightbyme.Andhehaddonejust
thattothebestofhisability.HewasthereasonIcouldholdaswordand
fireanarrow,fightwithmyhandsandmymind.
“IthinkVikterknewthatyouneverheldhisinaction
againsthim,butwhetherornothebelievedhe’ddoneallthathecouldwasup
tohim,”Casteelcontinuedsoftly.“Ithinkitcomesdowntowhetheryoucan
makeamendswithyourself.”
Isawthepointhewasmaking,butIdidn’tknowifanything
Ididfromthismomentonwouldbeenoughtoerasebeingasilentpartytothe
Ascended.
“Inthemeantime,whileyoutrytofigureoutifyoucan
makeamendswithyourself,ithelpstofindsomeonetoblame.Andinyour
case—andVikter’s—blamecanbeshared.”
“WiththeAscended?”Isurmised.
“Doyounotagree?”
TheAscendedcreatedthesystemVikterandIandeveryone
elsebecameapartof,unintentionallyreinforced,andultimatelybecame
victimsofindifferentways.Mymotherhadn’tbeenabletodefendherselfor
mebecauseofthelimitationstheAscendedplaceduponwomen.Familieshanded
overtheirchildrentotheCourtortotheTemplesbecausetheAscendedtaught
themitwastheonlywaytoappeasethegodsandthenusedtheverymonsters
theycreatedtoreinforcethosefears.Mr.Tulismadethechoicetoshovea
knifedeepinsideme,butthekingdomtheAscendedcreatedwaswhatdrovehim
tothat.ViktercouldneverspeakagainsttheDukewithoutrepercussionsthat
would’veeitherhadhimremovedfrommylifecompletelyorendedhis.AndI…
Ihadmyfreedomstrippedfrommeandwaskeptsosheltered
thatIcouldturntonoonewithmysuspicions.AndtheQueen,shewhocared
formesotenderly,wasthefoundationofthatsystem.Therewasnodenying
that.Norwasthereanydenyingthatthesystemwouldonlystrengthenandgrow
unlessaccesstotheAtlantianswascutoff.Evenwithouttheabilitytomake
moreAscended,theywouldstillbestrongiftheyremainedincontrol.If
Casteel’sfatherdidnotgotowaragainstthem.
Butwarwasneverone-sided.Casualtiesalwayspiledupon
bothsides,andthelosseswerealwaysthegreatestamongthemostinnocent.
ManyofthosewhowouldbefreeifAtlantiawenttowarwithSoliswoulddie
beforetheyevenrealizedhowmuchthey’dbeenchained.
“Yes.Theyaretoblame,”Isaidfinally,raggedly.Ihadno
ideahowwestrayedsofarofftopic.Brushingastraypieceofhairbackfrom
myface,Iclearedmythroat.“So,thereisyouranswertowhyI’vebeenquiet.
IfI’dknownthatinsultingandthreateningyouwouldconvinceothersofour
agreement,Iwould’vepulledaknifeonyouthismorninginthebanquethall.”
“Well,Iwouldn’tgothatfar,”hesaid,squeezingme.“Butif
Imaymakeasuggestion?Iwouldstopcallingourengagementanagreementor
understanding.Thatsoundsentirelytoobusiness-like.Asifwe’rediscussing
thetradeofmilkcows.”
“Butisn’tthatwhatthisis?”
“Iwouldsaythatwhatwehaveisaveryintimateagreement.
So,no.”
“Whatwehaveissimplyanimpersonalagreementandnothing
more.”
“Impersonal?Isthatso?”Hishanddriftedlower,overthe
flapofbuttonsonmypants.
Mybreathhitched.“Yes.”
“Truly?”
“Yes,”Ihissed.
“Interesting.Itdidn’tseemimpersonallastnight,”he
murmured,andthencaughtthelobeofmyearbetweenhisteeth.Igasped,my
eyeswideasthelittlenipsetfiretomyblood.Slowlyfreeingthesensitive
flesh,hechuckledashislipstouchedthespacebehindmyear,andthenIfelt
theindecentthrillofhissharpteethdraggingovertheskinofmythroat.
Foramoment,allthoughtsscattered.Myboilingblood
roaredinmyears,throughmybody,tighteningmybreastsandsettlingbetween
mylegs,wherehisfingersventureddangerouslyclose.Theymadethosetiny
circlesthattuggedattheseamofmypants,rubbingitagainstmyverycenter.
Mybackarchedwithoutthought,andahidden,recklesspartofmewishedI
couldwillthosefingerslower—
“Andnow?”herepeated.“Suredoesn’tfeelimpersonal.”
Ireactedwithoutthought,slammingmyelbowintohis
stomach.Casteelgruntedoutacurse.
“Pleasedon’tfightatopthehorse,”Delanocalledoutfrom
somewherebehindus.“NoneofuswishtowatchSettitrampleeitherofyou.”
“Speakforyourself,”cameKieran’sdrollvoice.
Casteelstraightenedbehindme.“Don’tworry.Neitherofus
willfall.Itwasjustalovetap.”
“Thatdidnotlooklikealovetap,”Naillcommented.
“That’sbecauseitwasaverypassionateone,”Casteelreplied.
“You’reabouttogetalovetaptoyourface,”Imuttered
undermybreath.
Casteelcurledhisarmmorefirmlyaroundmywaistashe
laughed.“There’stheviciouslittlecreature.Imissedher.”
“Whatever,”Igrumbled.
Heleanedintome,loweringhisvoiceoncemore.“Backto
theoriginalsubjectathand,ourengagementisfarmorebelievable
whenyou’rehittingmethanwhenyou’restandingbyquietly.”
Mybrowssnappedtogether.“Thatsoundslikeavery
dysfunctional…engagement.”
“Youcan’tspelldysfunctionalwithoutfun,nowcanyou?”
“That…Idon’tevenknowwhattosaytothat.”
“Mypointisthatyoujustneedtobeyourself,Princess.
Couplesargue.Theyfight.Mostdon’tgoaroundstabbingorpunchingthe
other—”
“Mostdon’tstartoffbeingliedtoorkidnapped,”I
interrupted.
“True,whichhasledtothestabbingandpunching,but
peoplewhoareinloveenoughtomarry—theonesthatpeopleknowaretogether
beforetheyevenrealizeit—neverconsistofjustoneperson,onepersonality,
oronewill.Theyfight.Theyargue.Theydisagree.Theymakeup.Theytalk.
Theyagree.Theonethingtheyneverareisperfect.”
“Areyoutellingmethatthekeyisforustofightandmake
up?”Iasked,becausetherewasnowayanyonecouldlookatus,seethewaywe
behavedtowardeachother,andthinkweweremadlyinlove.Theyprobably
thoughtwewereinsane.
“WhatI’mtellingyouisthatthereisnoonewayanyone
behavesinarelationship.Thereisn’tatextbookofthingstodoorhowtobehave
withtheexceptionofthestabbing.Itakebackmyfunindysfunctionalstatement.”
“Thankthegods.”
“Ijustwanttomakesureyouunderstandthat,sowhen
you’refreeandifyoudecidetoleave—”
“If?YoumeanwhenIleave?”
“Yes.Myapologies,”hedemurred.“Whenyouleave
andgooutintotheworldandfindyourselfamatewhohasneverlied—”
“Orkidnappedme?”
“Orkidnappedyou,thereshouldbenostabbingorpunching.
Onlykissesandpromisesuphelduntildyingbreathsandbeyond,”hesaid.“That
iswhatyoudeservefromwhoyouchoosetolove.”
Ididn’tknowwhattomakeofthat—ofhimspeakingofme…me
lovingsomeoneelse—lovingsomeoneforreal.Acidpooledinmystomach.
“Thethingis,youwon’tmessupifyougetmad.Youwon’tdo
thewrongthing.Eachcoupleisdifferent.Somespendtheirtimewhispering
sweetwordsineachother’sears.Somespendthetimebaitingoneanother.Both
enjoyingbeingthetigerinthecatandmousechase.Thatisus,”hesaid.“Or
whoweappeartoothers.Thiswon’tbehard.Notwiththepassionbetweenus,
andbeforeyoutrytolieandsaythereisnone,justknowthatitwould
provokemeintoprovingI’mright.”
ThelastthingIneededwasforhimtoprovethathewas
right.Therewaspassionbetweenus,whetheritwasrightorwrong,andI
supposeditwouldbefarhardertodothisifwecouldn’tphysicallybearone
another’stouch.
Andwhathesaidmadetoomuchsense.Notthenonsenseabout
usbothbeingthecatinthecatandmousechase,whichmadenosensewhatsoever.
However,thepartabouttherebeingnotextbooktofollow,noguidelinesdid
makesense.Somuchso,itfeltlikesomethingIshould’veknown.
“Youprobablythink
I’mfoolishfornotknowing—”
“Idon’tthinkyou’refoolish.Ineverhave—well,Itake
thatback.Ithoughtyouwereprettyfoolishwhenyoutriedtoescape,”he
said,andmyeyesrolled.“You’veneverbeeninarelationship,andyoureally
haven’tbeenaroundmanynormalones,soIunderstandwhyyouwouldn’tbesure
howtoact.Andit’snotlikethisisanormalsituation.”
Feelingalittlebetter,Irelaxedsome.“Andyou’vebeenin
arelationship.Imean,yousaidyou’vebeeninlovebefore.”
“Ihave.”
Iwatchedthesnowslipfrombranchesaswepassed,thinking
ofAlastir’sdaughter.Shea.Thatwassuchabeautifulname,andmaybesince
Casteelhadsharedthingswithmebefore,hewouldbewillingtotalkabout
her.“What…whathappened?”
HisfingersstilledandhewasquietforsolongthatIdidn’t
thinkhe’danswer,whichmademeallthemorecurious.Butthenhespoke.“She’s
gone.”
EventhoughIalreadyknewthat,Ifeltapiercingachein
myheart,andIopenedmyselftohimwithoutgivingitmuchthought.Themoment
Iconnectedwithhim,Iwashitbyawaveofanguishsopotentthatitalmost
shieldedthethreadofangerunderneath.I’dbeenright.Casteel’spainand
sadnesswasn’tjustforhisbrother.Itwasalsoforthisfacelesswoman.
IthoughtaboutwhatCasteelhadtoldmethenightofthe
Rite,beforetheattack.He’dtakenmetothewillowinthegardens,andhe’d
toldmeaboutaplaceheusedtogowithhisbrotherandhisbestfriend.A
caverntheyhadturnedintotheirownprivateworld.He’dsaidthathe’dlost
hisbrotherandthenhisbestfriendafewyearslater.Couldthatbestfriend
havebeenShea,thiswomanheloved?
Buthispain…
BeforeIevenknewwhatIwasdoing,I’dletgoofthe
saddleandstartedtoremovemyglove—
“Don’t,”hewarnedsoftly,andmyhandsfroze.“Iappreciate
thegesture,butIdon’tneedyoutotakeawaymypain,nordoIwantthat.”
Stillconnectedtohim,Icouldn’timaginehowthatwas
possible.Theagonythatwaitedbeneaththesmirksandtheteasing
glances—underallhismasks—wasnearlyunbearable.Itthreatenedtodragmeto
thefrozenground.BeingtrampledbySettiwasalmostpreferabletowhatfestered
fromthewoundsthatcouldn’tbeseen.“Whywouldn’tyouwantthat?”
“Becausethepainisareminderandawarning.OneIplanto
neverforget.”
Iseveredtheconnectionasnauseathreatenedtocreepupmy
throat.“Didshe…didshediebecauseoftheAscended?”
“Everythingthathasrottedinmylifehasbeentiedtothe
Ascended,”hesaid,hishandreturningtomyhip.
“I’mtiedtotheAscended,”IsaidbeforeIcouldstop
myself,beforeIcouldignorethestrangestinging.
Casteeldidn’trespond.Hedidn’tsayanything.Seconds
tickedbyandturnedintominutes,anditfeltasiftherewasaband
tighteningaroundmychest.
Staringstraightahead,Ispentthenexthowevermanyhours
wonderinghowhecouldstandtoevenbenearme—beclosetosomeonetiedtothe
AscendedasIwas.Theytookhisbrother.Theytookthepersonheloved.They
tookhisfreedom.Whatelsecouldtheytakefromhim?
Hislife?
AchillsweptovermyskinasIsatstraight,myhands
clutchingthesaddle.TheideaofCasteeldying,ofhimnolongerbeingthere
withthosefrustratingsmirksandteasingglances,hisquick-wittedreplies,
andthosedamn,infuriatingdimples?Icouldn’tevenconsiderit.Hewastoo
vivid,toobrighttothinkofhimnolongerbeingthere.
Buthewouldbegoneoneday.Whenthiswasalloverandwe
partedways,hewouldbegonefrommylife.ThatwaswhatIwanted—whatIplanned.
ThenwhydidIsuddenlyfeellikecrying?
Wecampedoutneartheroad,severalhoursafterthesunhad
set.Itwascold,butnotnearlyascoldasithadbeenintheBloodForest.
Casteelhadn’tspokenmuchbeyondofferingmefoodoraskingifIneededa
break,butasIlaythereinthemiddleofthestarlessnight,hereturnedto
myside,stretchingoutbehindme.Iwokeinhisarms.
Thenextthreedayswerejustlikethat
Casteelbarelyspoke.Whateverhefelt,andIdidn’topen
myselfuptohimtotrulyknow,wasashadowcolderthanthenights.Somany
times,Iwantedtoask—IwantedtotellhimthatIknewaboutShea.ThatIwas
sorryhe’dlosther.Iwantedtoaskquestionsabouther—aboutthem.Iwanted
himtodowhatAlastirhadsaidhehadn’t.Iwantedhimtotalk,becauseIknew
hissilencefedhisanguish.Isaidnothing,though,tellingmyselfitwasn’t
myplace.ThatthelessIknew,thebetter.
Buthecametomy
sideinthenight,andhewastherewhenanightmarefoundme,wakingmebefore
Icouldgivesoundtothescreamsbuildinginsideme.Heheldmeinsilence,
hishandstrokingmybackuntilIfellbacktosleep.
Thenightmares…theyweredifferent.Patchy,asifIwere
poppinginandoutoftheminsteadoffollowingtheeventsofthenightas
before.Theydidn’tmakeanysensetome,either.Notthewoundsonmymother,not
thescreamsorthechokingsmoke.Notthatcreepyvoicewhisperingabout
bleedingpoppies.Itwaslikethenightmaresweren’trealanymore.
ThatwaswhatIwasthinkingaboutaswesaddledthehorses
andtraveledtheroadtoSpessa’sEndonthefourthday.Ihadnoideahowmuch
timehadpassedwhenIsawsomethinginthetreestomyleft.Icouldn’tmake
outwhatitwas,andjustwhenIthoughtIwasseeingthings,Isawitagain,
severaltreesdowntheroad.
Ithungfromalimbstrippedofpineneedlesandbareof
snow.Aropeshapedintosomekindofsymbol—acircle.Itwistedinmyseat,
butIcouldn’tfindwhereithadbeeninthemassoftrees.Thearmaroundmy
waisttightened,thefirstreactionfromCasteelindays.Icouldfeelthe
tensioninhisarmasIscannedthewoods.
Theshapetuggedattherecessesofmymemory.Itlooked
likesomethingI’dseenbefore.Totheright,Isawitagain—abrownrope
hangingfromanotherbarelimb,fashionedalmostlikeanoose,butwithastick
orsomethingcrossingthroughthecenter.
I’dseensomethingsimilarintheBloodForest.Exceptit
hadbeencreatedoutofrocksandhadremindedmeoftheRoyalCrest.Butnow
thatIcouldseethisonemoreclearly,Irealizeditwasonlylike
theCrest.
Itwasn’tastraightlinelikeanarrow,situatedata
slant,butonethatwasslantedintheoppositedirection.Andthat…thatwasn’t
astickboundtotherope.Itwastooashenincolor,theendsknobby.
Oh,gods.
Itwasabone
Settislowed,andCasteel’sarmslidawayfromme.
Slowly,Iliftedmygaze,andtrepidationtookhold.There
weredozensofthemhangingamongstthetrees,alldifferent,atdizzyingheights.
“Casteel?”Isaidquietly.“Doyouseewhat’sinthetrees?”
“Yes.”
“IsawthesameshapesintheBloodForest.”
“Cas,”Kieran’svoicewaslow,barelyaudible.
“Iknow,”heanswered,andIheardaquietsnapofaclasp.
Whenhisarmcamebackaroundme,heheldthestrangebowinmylap.Asclose
asitwas,Icouldseethatthenockedarrowwasthickerthannormal,and
althoughI’dseenthekindofdamagetheboltcoulddo,itwasstillsomehow
unfathomable.
Istaredatthebowandthebloodstonearrow.“IsitCraven?”
Iasked,havingseentherocksrightbeforetheyarrived.Ilookeddown,seeing
nomist.
“Idon’tthinkCravenhavestartedtodecoratetreeswith
craftprojects,Princess,”hesaid,andmyheartgaveastupidlittleleap.It
wasthefirsttimehe’dcalledmethatindays.Heshiftedthehandleofthe
bowintomyhand.“ThelovelydecorationsarecourtesyoftheDeadBonesClan.”
“Thewhat?”Iturnedmyheadtowardhis.
“TheyusedtoliveallacrossSolis,especiallywherethe
BloodForestisnow,butthey’vesincerelocatedtothesewoodsandhillsover
thepastseveraldecades.”
“I’veneverheardofthem.”
“TherearealotofthingstheAscendeddon’tsharewiththe
peopleofSolis.Likethefactthattherearepeoplewholiveandsurvive
outsidetheprotectionoftheRise.”
“How?”Idemanded.Manyofthevillagesoutfittedwith
smallerRiseswereoftenoverrunbyCraven.
“Theysurvivebyany
meansnecessary.Forthisclan,oneofthosemeansisbyslaughteringanyone
theyviewasathreat.Supposedly,theyeatwhotheykillandwilloftenuse
thefleshformasksandthebones—well,youalreadysawwhattheyliketodo
withthebones.Youknowwhattheysay—wastenot,wantnot.”
Mymouthdroppedopen.“I…”
“Yeah,Princess,therereallyaren’tanywords.Wetryto
avoidthemwhenwepassthroughhere.Normally,wedon’thaveanyproblems.But
incasewedo.”Hefoldedahandovermine.“Feelthismetalpiece?It’sthe
trigger.Youaimthisbowjustlikeyouwouldanormalone,butinsteadof
pullingthestringback,youpressonthis,anditfiresthearrow.”
Ihadsomanyquestions,butIcurledmyfingersaroundthe
woodenhandle,gettingafeelforitsweight.Instincttoldmethatthe
importantthingwastofocusonhisinstructions.“Okay.”
“Thearrowisnockedthesame,exceptit’sheldinplace.
Allyouneedtodoisaimandpullthetrigger.Bloodstoneboltswillalsokill
mortals,”heinstructed.“Youknowwhattodoifwehaveanyproblemswith
thesepeople.Stayalive.”
Istartedtorespond,butKieranshouted.Nomorethanasecond
later,Casteeljerkedmebackagainsthim.Thehandleofthebowpressedinto
mystomachassomethingwhizzedmereinchesfrommyface.Myheadjerkedtothe
rightasabranchontheothersideoftheroadsnappedintwo,takendownby—
“Inthetrees!”Naillshouted.“Totheleft!”
CasteelwheeledSetti,guidingthepowerfulhorsearoundso
thatIwasfacingtotheright.Heshiftedinthesaddle,hisbodypressing
minedownasflatasIcouldgo—
Therewasanothershot,andthenCasteelwasgonefrom
Setti’sback,driventotheground.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter21
“Casteel!”Ishouted,myheartslammingagainstmyribs.
Twistinginthesaddle,IgrippedthebowasIlookeddown.
RollingoutofthepathofSetti’shooves,Casteelroseto
hisknees.Mystomachdroppedatthesightofthearrowsjuttingout
ofhisback.Onewaslodgedinhisleftshoulder.Anotherwasnearthecenter
ofhisback,justtotheright.Bloodalreadydarkenedhisblackcloak.
“Solisbastards!”someoneshoutedfromthetrees.“You’re
goingtodietoday!”
Anotherarrowblewpastmyface,missingmebyinches.Panic
explodedinmychestasSettiprancedinatightcircle,startled.He’sokay,
ItoldmyselfasIgrippedthesaddlehornwithmyotherhand.He
wasAtlantian.Twoarrowscouldn’ttakehimdown.He’sokay.I’d
stabbedhimintheactualheart,andhe’dbeenfine.He’sokay—
Settireared.Mygriponthepommelslipped.Ihadnoidea
howtocontrolahorse,andifIletgotograbthereins,Iwouldfall.Iwas
nowaynearasfastasCasteel.Mywildgazedartedovertheheavytreelineas
Naillshoutedacurse,takinganarrowtotheleg.Settislammeddownonhis
fronthooves,rattlingmetomyverybones.Ilostmygripandslipped.Thesky
turnedsideways—
Anarmsnaggedmefrombehind.Thescentofrichspiceand
citrusinfreshsnowenvelopedme.CasteelyankedmedownasDelanosuddenly
appearedonSetti’sotherside.CatchingSetti’sreins,herosetoacrouchon
thesaddleandleaptontothehorse’sback,keepinghismount’sreinsinhis
otherhand.Slidingintotheseat,hedughisheelsin,urgingSettiandhis
horseintothewoodstotheright.
Abluroffawn-coloredfurshotpastus,intothewoods.Kieran.
Severalheartbeatslater,Iheardayelpandahigh-pitchedscreamasCasteel
allbutcarriedmeintothetreestotheright.
“Fuckingwolven!”amanhooted,hisenthusiasticresponse
quiteatoddswithwhatcameoutofhismouthnext.“Thisjustbecameourlucky
day,boys!Thegodsaregood!”
Casteelspunsuddenly,shieldingmybodywithhis.Hejerked
andgrowledoutasharpcurse,andIknewhe’dtakenanotherarrow.
“Thisisgettingextremelyannoying,”hesnarled,thrusting
mebehindatree.HetossedthequiverofarrowsIhadn’tseenhimgrabtoward
me.“Don’tgetshot.Thatwillbeevenmoreannoying.”
“Howaboutyoutrynotgettingshotagain.”An
arrownowprotrudedfromCasteel’slowerback,andhewasstillstandingthere.
Inthebackofmymind,Iknewwhy.HewasAtlantian.ButallIcouldthinkasI
sawthethreearrowspiercedthroughhimwas…whatifheweren’t?
He’dbedead,andI…
“ButImakewearingarrowslookgood,don’tI?”Casteel
twistedsharply,hishandsnappingout.Hecaughtthenextarrowintendedfor
him.
Istaredathim.
“Idon’tknowwhyanyofyouthinkthisisyourluckyday,”
heyelledbackasheturnedaround.Heshatteredthearrowinhisfist.“It’s
reallynot.Notwhenmycloakhasbeenruined.AndIreallylikedit.Itwas
warm,andnowithasgodsdamnholesinit.Howwillthatkeepmewarm?”
Somethingabouthimbeingmoreupsetabouthisruinedcloak
thanhewasabouthavingmultipleholesinhisbodyhadastrange,
calmingeffectonme.MyhandsstoppedtremblingasIfocusedonthepines
acrosstheroad.Iknewhowtofireabow.Iwasverygoodatit.Vikterhad
claimedthatIwasoneofthebestarchershe’dseen.Ihadthesteadyhands
forit,thewatchfuleye,andthequickreflexes.ThatwaswhyCasteelhad
handedthebowovertome.HeknewIcoulduseit.
AndIhadthesteadyhandsnow.
Asoundbegan,agreatwaveofrattlingthatremindedmeof
thosewoodentoyswithbeadsinsidethatinfantsoftenenjoyed.Itseemedto
comefromalldirections,liketheraspingofdrybones.Thehairsonmyneck
stoodonend.
Rapidlyscanningtheothersideoftheroadforanymovement
thatwasn’tfawn-colored,IliftedthebowasNailljoinedCasteel.Myfinger
curledaroundthetriggerasIkeptsearching—
Amuddiedbrownshapebrieflyappearedbetweenthepines,
andIdidn’thesitate.Notforasecond.Ileveledthebowjustasmytarget
liftedhisweapon,takingaimatNaill.Ipressedonthetrigger.
Theboltreleasedwithawhoosh,flyingacrosstheroad.I
alreadyknewI’dhitmytargetwhenIreachedforanotherheavier,thicker
arrow.
Movementcaughtmyeyes.Ilookedjustintimetosee
Casteellaunchintotheair.Hejumpedhigherthanhestood,whichwaswell
oversixfeet.Mylipspartedashelandedonalimb,shakingfreepineneedles
andsnowdust.AllIcouldseewashisarmpunchintotheshadowsofthelimb.
Asecondlater,heyankedamortalout,tossinghimtotheground—
Delanoshotoutfromtheforest.Inhiswolvenform,hewas
nothingmorethanastreakofwhitefur.Hecaughtthemortalbeforehehitthe
ground,whippinghislargeheadandshakingthemanlikeadogdiditsfavorite
toy.Iheardacrackingsound,andthenDelanodroppedthebrokenmortal.Blood
streakedDelano’sfurashelunged,catchinganotherclansmanaroundthethroat
thatCasteelhadthrownfromthetreefrom…deargods…fromhigherup.
DraggingmyeyesfromwhatIwasunlikelytoeverforget,I
nockedanotherbolt,firingatanothermortalthatpoppedoutfrombetweentwo
trees.Loadingthebow,Itwistedatthewaist,leanedout—
“Damnbloodsuckers!Boys,befast!”thatfirstvoicecame
again,somewherefromthetrees.“Weain’tdealingwithjustwolven!Aimfor
thehead!”
Okay,thefactthatthisDeadBonesClanknewaboutthe
wolvenandtheAtlantianswasinteresting.AndI—
Fierypainlancedacrossmyskinasanarrowshotbyme,
grazingmyarm.IsuckedinasharpbreathasIdartedbackbehindtheelm,
shakingmywristasifthatwouldsomehowlessentheburn.
Itdidn’thelpallthatmuch.
Screamsofpainpiercedthroughthedistantsnarls.Gritting
myteeth,Ilookedovermyshoulder,nolongerseeingCasteelorDelano.Naill
wasgonetoo.IstayedstilluntilIsawashiftingofshadowsandaflashof
movementtomyleft.Izeroedinonit.
Ifiredtheboltjustasthesoundofpoundingfeetwhipped
myattentiontotheright.Amanranatme—atleastIthoughtthetall,broad
shapewasaman,butIcouldn’tbesure.Hisfacewascoveredbysomethingthat
lookedlikeleather.Clumpsofbrownhairpokedoutfromthemask.Hecarried
nobow,butrathersomesortofclub,andhewasfastforsomeonehissize.
“Shit,”Iwhispered,whirlingtowardthequiver.Igrabbeda
boltandnockeditquickly.
ThemanswungtheclubbeforeIcouldfire.Iduckedbutwasn’t
fastenough.Hisclubcaughtthebow,knockingitfrommygripwithone
shatteringblow.Helaughed.“Whatkindofbitchareyou?”heaskedasIjumped
back.Irecognizedtheman’svoice.He’dbeentheoneshouting,andnowthathe
wasonlyafootorsofromme,IcouldseewhyIthoughthismaskwasmadeof
leather.
AndIcouldalsoseethatCasteelhadn’tbeenjokingwhenhe
saidthattheDeadBonesClanoperatedonthewaste-not-want-notcreed.
Itwasskin.
Humanskinthathadbeenstretchedtofitoverhishead,stitched
injaggedpiecesaroundtheopeningsthathadbeencreatedfortheeyesand
mouth.Mystomachchurned,butIdidn’tcavetotherisingnausea.
“Areyoupartdog,or
doyouliketosuckonthings?”heasked,switchingtheclubtohislefthand.“If
youbegnicely,Igotsomethingyoucansuckon.”Hereacheddown,grabbing
whatIcouldonlyassumehewasreferencing.“Yourfacemaybeamess,butyour
mouthlooksjustfine.”
Heartpounding,Idartedoutofreachoftheclubashe
swungitagain.Ireachedinsidemycloak,unsheathingmydagger.Istilled,
waitingasmyfingersopenedandclosedaroundthehandle.Ihadtobequick
andsmart.I’donlyhaveonechance.
“Ibetyou’reoneof
thosewolvenbitches.Heartheyliketheirwomenallcutup.”Hemadeacalling
sound,oneusedtosummonadog,andmygriptightened.“Tellme,girl.What
kindofbitchareyou?”
Heliftedtheclubagain,andImademymove.Shooting
forward,Islippedunderhisarmandgrabbedthedirtytunic.Thrustingthedagger
up,IusedeveryounceofstrengthIhadtodriveitdeepunderhischin.
“I’mthiskindofbitch,”Igrowled.Themuscles
underthemaskpiecedtogetherbyhumanfleshwentlaxasIjerkedtheknife
free.
Bloodspurtedinahotspray.Whateverhewasabouttosay
endedonagurgle.Theclubfellfromhishand,andthenhetoppledlikea
tree,straightandforward,takingmedownwithhim.
Ihitthepine-needled,snow-crustedgroundwithagruntas
airpunchedoutofmylungs.Themanwaslimp,hisgrotesquelymaskedface
smashedintomyshoulder.
“Dammit,”Imutteredashisheavyweightsankintome.He
smelledlikerotandotherthingsIdidn’twanttothinkabout.Itippedmy
headbackagainsttheground.“Thisisjustgreat.”
Aflutterofwingsdrewmygazetothesky.Myeyesnarrowed
asthatlargehawkfrombeforeappearedoverhead,gracefullycirclingbefore
disappearingintothetrees.Awing,caressedbythesun,gleamedsilver.Ireally
hopedmynewcloakdidn’tendupdrenchedinblood.
Sighing,Igatheredupmystrengthandshovedattheman,
managingtogethimatleastpartwayoffmychest.Idrewinadeepbreath—
Themanwassuddenlyliftedupandtossedasidelikehewas
nothingmorethanabagofsmallrocks.Ihadnoideawherehelanded.AllI
coulddowasstareatCasteel.
Hestoodaboveme,hisfacesplatteredwithdotsofred.
“You’rebleeding.”
“Youhavethreearrowsstickingoutofyou.”
“You’vebeeninjured.Where?”Hekneltbesideme,ignoring
mysomewhatunnecessaryobservation.
“I’mfine.”Isatup,myeyesgluedtothearrowjutting
fromhisstomachasIsheathedmydagger.“Doesithurt?”
“What?”
“Thearrows.”Ipausedashegraspedmyleftarm,
pushingthecloakaside.Thearrowsthatarestickingoutofyourbody.”
“It’snothingmorethananannoyance.”Heturnedmyarm,and
Iwinced.“Sorry,”hesaidgrufflyasheexposedthetearinthesleeveofmy
tunic.
“They’reinsideyourbody,”Irepeated.“Howcanthatonly
beanannoyance?Isitbecauseyou’refromanelementalbloodline?”
“Yes.”Hisfeaturessharpenedashecarefullypeeledback
theedgeofmysweater.“ThewoundswillhealassoonasIpullthearrows
out.”
“Thenwhyhaven’tyoudonethatyet?”
“Becausetheywillnotfester,unlikeyourwoundifdirt
getsintoit.”Hisgazeflickedup,andhiseyessnaggedmyfocus.Thepupilsseemed
larger.“Areyouworriedaboutme,Princess?”
Iclampedmymouthshut.
“Youare,aren’tyou?IheardyouscreammynamewhenIfell
fromthehorse,”hecontinued,anditwasweirdforhimtoteaseafterriding
insilenceforhours—andwiththreearrowsstickingoutofhim.“Yourconcern
warmsthesameheartyou’vesogrievouslywounded.”
Ishothimaglare.“You’renogoodtomedead.”
Onesideofhislipsquirkedupashestaredatmyarm.
“Lookslikeafleshwound.You’lllive.”
“ItoldyouIwasfine.”
“Stillneedstobecovered.”Herose,bringingmewithhim.
Steppingback,hetoreoffapieceofhiscloak.“Notthemosthygienicof
options,butitwillworkuntilwereachSpessa’sEnd.”
Thecrunchofneedlesdrewmygaze.IsawDelanoslinkingbetween
thepines,stillinhiswolvenform.Streaksofredstainedhisfur.His
pale-eyedgazemovedfromCasteeltome,andthenhetookoffinapowerful
lunge,dartingbetweenthetrees.
“Whereishegoing?”
“Probablytoretrievethehorses,”Casteelanswered.
Iglancedupathim.Hestoodbesideme,holdingmyarmin
onehandandtheclothintheother,buthemadenomovetocovertheseeping
wound.Hewasjuststandingthere,thehollowsofhischeeksshadowed.
Thethrobbinginmyarmfelltothewaysideasconcerndid
takeroot.“Areyousureyou’reallright?”Iasked.“Maybeyoushouldpull
thosearrowsoutorsomething.”
Histhroatworkedonaswallow,andhislipsparted.There
wasthebaresthintoffangs.
“Casteel,”Kierancalledoutfrombehindus.
ThePrinceblinked,liftinghisheadtolookovermy
shoulder.Hispupilsseemedevenbigger,crowdingouttheamberofhisirises.
Instinctsentashiverofwarningthroughme.“I’mfine.”
“Yousureaboutthat?”Kieranasked.
IwatchedCasteelclosely,wonderingwhatwaswrongwith
him.“Youreyes,”Iwhispered.“Thepupilsarereallylarge.”
“Theydothatsometimes.”Heclearedhisthroat,finally
movingasherepeatedlouder,“I’mfine.”Hewrappedthestripofcloakaround
myupperarm.“Thismayhurt.”
Itdidn’tfeelallthatgreatashetightenedthemakeshift
bandage,tyingitsoitstayedinplace.Oncedone,heloweredmyarmand
drapedthecloakoverit.Iwatchedhimstepbackandlookdownathimself,
still…well,stillconcernedforhim.“Thankyou.”
Hisgazeflewtomine,andthereseemedtobeabitof
surpriseinthoseoddeyes.HenoddedandthenlookedatKieran.“Arethereany
left?”
“Thosealiveranbacktowhateverhomesthey’dfashionedfor
themselves,”Kieranstated.“Naillisscoutingupaheadtomakesurewedon’t
runintoanymore.”
WantingtoknowhowthesepeopleknewwhatKieranand
Casteelwere,Itwistedatthewaist—
Everysinglethought
fled.Mymouthdroppedopen.“You’renaked!”
“Iam,”Kieranreplied.
Andhewas.
Likecompletelynaked,andIsawwaytoomuchtawny-hued
skin.Waytoomuch.Iquicklyspunaround,mywideeyesclashingwith
Casteel’s.
“Youshouldseeyourfacerightnow.”Casteelgrippedthe
arrowinhisstomach.“Itlookslikeyou’vebeensunbathing.”
“Becausehe’snaked,”Ihissed.“Like,supernaked.”
“Whatdoyouthinkhappenswhenheshiftsforms?”
“Thelasttimehispantsactuallystayedon!”
“Andsometimestheydon’t.”Casteelshrugged.
“Thosepantswerelooser,Isuppose,”Kieranstated.“There’s
noneedtobeembarrassed.It’sonlyskin.”
WhatIsawwasnotonlyskin.Hewas…well,hisbody
wasalotlikeCasteel’s.Lean,hardmuscleand…
Iwasn’tgoingtothinkaboutwhatIsaw.
Atalossforwhattosay,Iblurtedoutinawhisper,“He
hastobecold!”
“Wolvenbodytemperaturesrunhigherthannormal.I’mjusta
littlechilled,”Kierancommented.“AsI’msureyounoticed.”
Casteelsmirked.“Idoubtsheknowswhatyou’rereferencing.”
Iinhaleddeeplythroughmynoseandexhaledslowly.“Iknow
exactlywhathe’sreferencing,thankyouverymuch.”
“Howdoyouknowthat?”Casteelliftedhisbrows,andI
noticedthathispupilsseemedtohavereturnedtotheirnormalsize.“Ifyou
knowwhatthatmeans,thensomeonehasbeenverynaughty.”
“Iknowthatbecause—”Isuckedinairasheyankedthe
arrowfree.“Oh,mygods.”
“Itlooksworsethanitis.”Hetossedthearrowasideand
thenreachedfortheoneinhisleftshoulder.
Istartedtoturnawaybutrememberedthatwhatwasbehind
mewasfarmoretraumatizing.“Ihopeyouhaveanextrasetofclothes,”Isaid
toKieran.
“Ido.AssoonasDelanoarriveswiththehorses,I’llbe
allprimandproperagain.”
IflinchedasCasteelpulledthesecondarrowout.“Idon’t
thinkyou’veeverbeenprimandproper.”
“That’strue,”Kieransaid,andIthoughthe’dmovedcloser.
“Youtookoutthemouthyone?”
InoddedasCasteelcursedwhenthearrowhe’dbeenpulling
onmostlikelygotstuckonsomethingimportant.Likeanorgan.
“Withyourdagger?”Kieransoundedimpressed.
“Thatandmysparklingpersonality.”
Thewolvensnorted.“Itwasprobablythelatterthatdidhim
in.”
MystomachtwistedasCasteelrippedoutthethirdandfinal
arrow.IswallowedHard.“Ithinkhebrokethebow,though.”
“Buthedidn’tbreakyou.”Casteelstraightenedhistunic,
thetensionbracketinghismoutheasing.“Andthat’sallthatmatters.”
OnceDelanoreturnedwiththehorses,andNaillreported
backthattheroadaheadappearedclear,wecontinuedonourway.
WithacompletelyclothedKieran,thankthegods.
Werodeoninsilence,everyonewatchfulandalertforsigns
oftheDeadBonesClan.Theskywasdarkeningtoamidnightblueastheroad
eventuallywidened,andthetemperaturesdroppedevenmore.Assoonasthe
crowdofelmsthinnedout,Ifigureditwassafetospeak.Iwaspractically
burstingtodoso.“IhavesomanyquestionsabouttheDeadBonesClan.”
“Shocking,”mutteredKieran,whorodetoourleft.
Casteellaughedsoftly,andthatwasthefirstsoundhe’dreally
madesinceclimbingbackontothehorse.Iwondered—notworried—thathewas
stillhurtingfromthearrows,butifIasked,Iwouldthenbesubjectedtohis
overdramaticteasing.
“Can’tpromisewe’llbeabletoanswerthosequestions,but
whatwouldyouliketoknow?”heasked,hisarmloosearoundme.
“WhydidtheDeadBonesClanattacklikethat?”Istarted
there.“IgetthattheysurviveoutsideaRisethatway,butit’sobviouswe
weren’tCraven.”
“TheDeadBonesClanisn’tjustanti-Craven.Theyare
anti…everyone,”Naillsaidfrombehindus.“Sometimes,theyletpeoplepasson
theroad.Sometimestheydon’t.WecanonlyhopethatAlastirandhisgroup
madeitthrough,buttheywerearmed.Aswillbethosewhoarebehindus.”
Gods,Ihadn’teventhoughtofthem.Ihopedtheymadeit.I
likedAlastir,andIreallyhopedthepeopleofNewHavendidn’trunintoany
moretrouble.
“IftheygotAlastirandthatgroup,theyprobablywouldn’thave
comeafterus.I’mbettingthey’rehungry,”Kieransaid,andmylipscurled.
“Iheardoneofthemtalkabouthowtheywantedtomakea
cloakoutofmyfur,”Delanosaidfromwhereherodetoourright.Hisbrows
werefurrowed.“Myfurshouldbereservedforsomethingfarmoreluxuriousthan
acloak.Ibithimextrahardforthat.”
MylipstwitchedasCasteelsaid,“FromwhatI’velearned
aboutthem,whenthewarbrokeout,theyescapedtothesewoods.Idon’tthink
anyoneknowsanymorewhetherthey’vealwayshadapenchantforflesh—eatingand
wearingit.”
Ididn’twanttothinkabouttheirpenchantforflesh.“They
knewwhatyouallwere,”Ipointedout.
“You’vegottorememberthatthey’reremnantsofatimewhen
Atlantiaruledovertheentirekingdom,”Casteelsaid.“Iimaginethateach
generationlearnedaboutusthroughstoriestoldbytheirelders.Withthem
outsidethecontroloftheAscended,ourhistoriesweren’trewrittenorlost.”
“Okay,buttheystilltriedtokillyou.”
“Killus,”Casteelcorrected,andmystomach
dipped.“ThisroadhasseenalotofAtlantiansandwolventhroughoutthe
centuries.Idoubttheirattack-first-and-ask-questions-latermentality
fosteredanyfondnessoncetheyrealizedthatwewouldnotbefelledbyarrows
orclubs.”Heshiftedasifhesoughttogetmorecomfortable.“Plus,wolven
furdoesmakeforverynicecloaks.”
Nailllaughedasthewolvencursed.
“ButtheyusedtoliveinoneofthetownsneartheBlood
Forest.Atsomepointoverthepastseveralhundredyears,theyendeduphere,”
Casteelcontinued.“I’vetraveledthisroadbeforeandneverhaddealingswith
themuntilnow.”
ThatexplainedwhyIsawthesymbolsthereandthenhere.
“HowhavetheyescapedtheAscended’snotice?”
“Who’stosaytheyhave?”Naillcountered.
“Well,they’restillalive,”Ireasoned.“So,Iwouldthink
theyhave.”
Kierandrewahead.“DuetotheDeadBonesClanoften
attackingonsightandwithwhathastobetheirdwindlingnumbers,Ithink
theyprobablyaren’tworththeAscended’stime.”
Lookingbehindus,Iwonderedexactlyhowmanylivedinthe
woods.Hundreds?Thousands?Iftherewerethousands,theAscendedwould
definitelymakeitworththeirtime.Thousandscouldstagearevolt.Maybenot
asuccessfulone,butonethatcouldcausemanyproblems,especiallysincethe
clanwasinpossessionofthekindofknowledgetheAscendedwouldn’twant
known.
“AndtheAscendeddon’toftensendpeopleouthere,”Delano
added.“Thatmaychangeoncetheyrealizeyou’remissing,butonlythegods
knowthelasttimeanyonesentbythemcamethisfarorwentbeyond.”
Somethingabouthisvoicecausedmetolookathim.Inthe
fadinglight,Icouldseethehard,unyieldinglinesofhisface.“Whyis
that?”
“You’llsee,”Casteelanswered.
Andthatwasallhesaid—allanyonesaidasnightdescended,
andthemoonrose,castingsilverylightoverthehillstheforesthadgiven
wayto.
Withmymindoccupiedwitheverythingthathadhappenedand
whatI’dlearnedbeforethefirstarrowhadshotacrosstheroad,Ididn’t
thinkitwasatallpossiblethatIwouldfindmyselfdozing.Butthatwasexactly
whathappenedasIfeltmyselfeasingintothespacebetweenCasteel’sarms.At
somepoint,Iendedupleaningbackagainsthim,andwhenIrealizedthat,I
jerkedupright.
“I’msorry,”Imumbled,muscleswearyasIforcedmyselfto
sitstraight.Isawthatwewerespacedoutagain,DelanoandNaillseveral
feetaheadwithKierankeepingpacebesideus.
“Forwhat?”
“Youwereshot.”Ismotheredayawn.“Atleastthreetimes.”
“I’malreadyhealed.You’refine.”WhenIdidn’tmove,he
usedhisarmaroundmywaisttotugmeback.
Thegodshelpme,butIdidn’tresist.
“Relax,”hewhisperedatopofmyhead.“Weshouldreach
Spessa’sEndsoon.”
Istaredupatthetwinklingstars,wonderinghowthere
couldbesomany.Ididn’tknowwhyIaskedwhatIdid.“Doesitbotheryou?”
“What,Princess?”
“Havingtobesoclosetosomeonewhorepresentsthe
Ascended,”Iasked.“Aftertheytooksomuchfromyou.”
Amomentpassed.“Iwoulddoanythingformybrother.”
Yes,Itrulyrealizedthathewould.
“Andyou’repartAtlantian,”hetackedon.“Thathelps.”
Icouldn’ttellifhe
wasjokingornot,butthenKieranspokeabouttheincreasingclouds.Thesubject
changed,Idriftedanddrifted…
Wecampedinthemeadowswecameupon,andinthemorning,
thefirstthingIrealizedwasthatwedidn’tneedourcloaksoncethesun
rose.Iknewthatmeantwehadtobegettingclose.Thedaywasablurofopen
fieldsandunendingblueskies,andwhenthesunfell,wedidn’tstop.We
continuedon.
Thenthehorsesslowed.ThefirstthingIsawwasanendless
poolofthedeepestonyx.Itwasliketheskyhadkissedtheground.
“StygianBay,”Iwhispered,
“TherumoredgatewaytotheTemplesofEternity,Rhain’s
land,”Casteelanswered.
“Aretheytrue?Therumors?”
“WouldyoubelievemeifIsaidyes,Princess?”Hetuggedme
backsoIleanedintohimoncemore.“You’rewarm,”heofferedinwayof
explanation.
“ThoughtAtlantiansdidn’tgetcold.”
“Don’tpointoutmyinconsistencies.”
MaybeitwasbecauseIwastired.Perhapsitwasthe
stillnessandthebeautyoftheBay.Ididn’tknowwhatitwas,butIlaughed.
“It’snoteventhatcoldnow.”
Hemadeasound,asoftrumblethatIfeltmorethanheard.
“Youdon’tdothatenough.Youneverhave.”
Ifeltatwistinmychest,oneIforcedmyselftobreathe
through.“IstheBaytheactualgatewaytotherealTemplesofRhain?”Iasked
instead.
Hisbreathwaswarmagainst
mycheekashesaid,“StygianBayiswhereRhainsleeps,deepbelow.Itborders
Pompay,anditssoutherncoastreachesSpessa’sEnd.”
Ajoltofsurprisewidenedmyeyes.Thegodreallyslept
there?
“AreweinSpessa’sEnd?”
“No,”Kierananswered.“We’reaboutaday’sridefromthere.
We’vereachedPompay.”
Pompay—thelastAtlantianstronghold.
WhatIsawtakingshapeoutofthedarknessofnightstole
whateverIwasabouttosay.
First,itwastheRiseorwhatwasleftofthecrumbling
walls.Onlysectionsbytheentrystood,wherenogateexisted,stretching
dizzyingheightsintothesky.Therestcouldn’tbemorethanfivefeet,and
mostofthatwasthepilesofbrokenstone.
Werodeintoatownthatnolongerexisted.Burnt-outhomes
linedtheroad,mostmissingentirewallsorweredestroyeddowntotheir
foundations.Nopeoplewereabout,nocandlelightfromanywindowsofthehomes
thatatleasthadfourwallsandaroof.Onlythesoundofthehorses’hooves
clatteringoffthecobblestonescouldbeheardaswetraveledfarther,past
largerbuildingswithtoppledpillars—structuresIimaginedonceheldmeetings
orofferedentertainment.Treeswerenothingmorethanskeletons,deadand
decaying,andtherewasnosignoflifeanywhere.Whateverhadhappenedherehadn’t
occurredduringthewar.Thelandwouldhavereclaimedthebuildingsand
streetsbynowifthatwerethecase.
“Whathappenedhere?”Iwincedatthesoundofmyvoice.It
feltwrongtospeak,toshatterthesilenceofwhatappearedtobeagraveyard
ofatown.
“TheAscendedfearedthatwithitsrootsasaonceprosperous
Atlantiancity,PompaywouldbecomeahavenforDescenters.Buttheyhadlittle
reasontobelievethat,”Casteelsaid,hisvoicehushed.“TherewereDescenters
here,onlybecausetherehadbeennosittingRoyaltorulethetownafterthe
war,buttheyweremostlymortals—farmersandthelike.ButnoAscendedwanted
torulesofareast,sotheyrazedthetowntotheground.”
“Whatofthepeoplewholivedhere?”Iasked,afraidIalready
knewtheanswer.
Casteeldidn’tspeakbecausetheanswertomyquestion
appearedbeforemeasweroundedabendintheroad.Itwentonforasfaras
theeyecouldsee,stonemounduponstonemound,litonlybythesilvery
moonlight.Therewerehundredsofthem,somanythatIcouldn’tquitebelieve
whatIwasseeing,eventhoughIknewthatwhatIsawwasreality.Pompaywasa
slaughteredtown,trulyagraveyard.
“Theycameinthenightsomefortyorsoyearsago,”Delano
said.“AnarmyofAscended.Theyswarmedthistownlikeaplague,feedingupon
everyman,woman,andchild.ThosewhowerenotkilledturnedintoCravenand
spilledoutfromPompayinsearchofblood.”
Gods.
“Theoneswhodiedwereleftbehindtorotinthesummerheat
andtofreezeinthewinter,”Kieransaid.“Theirbodiesremainedwherethey’d
fallen.Alonepersonbyatree,dozensinthestreet.”Heclearedhisthroat.
“Couplesfoundintheirbeds.Entirefamiliesintheirhomes,mothersand
fathersclutchingtheirchildrentothem.”
“Weburiedthem,”Casteeltoldme.“Ittooksometime,but
weburiedallthatremained.Sixhundredandfifty-sixofthem.”
Goodgods.
Iclosedmyeyesagainstthetideofsorrowandshockthat
floodedme,butIcouldnotunseethepilesandpilesofstonesofsomany
senselessdeaths.
Casteel’sexhalewasrough.“Sonowyouknowwhythe
Ascendeddon’toftentravelthisfar.”
Ididknow.
Isaw.
“I…Idon’tknowhowI’mshocked,”Iadmitted.“After
everythingI’veseen,Idon’tunderstandhowIcan’tbelievethis.”
Casteel’sarmtightenedaroundme,butitwasNaillwhospoke,
echoingwhatthePrincehadsaidearlier.“Idon’tthinkthisissomethingyou
canevergetusedto.Atleast,Iwouldn’twantto.Iwanttobeshocked.I
needtobe,”thedark-skinnedAtlantiantoldme.“Ifnot,thenthelinethat
separatesusfromthevampryswouldbemuchtoothin.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter22
Werodeoninsilence,passingtheendlessmoundsofstones
andtheruinsofhomesandbusinesses.Westoppedjustoutsidethecityonthe
coastoftheBay.
Ifoundlittlesleepthatnight,seeingthestonegraveyard
everytimeIclosedmyeyes.Surprisingly,whenIdidrest,therewereno
nightmares.Whenweleftatdawnthefollowingmorning,Iknewthehauntingruins
ofthecitywouldstaywithmefortherestofmylife.Andaswetraveled
alongStygianBay,IfearedwhatawaitedusinSpessa’sEnd
Withthesunbeginningitssteadyclimb,glitteringoffthe
midnightBay,thecloaksandglovesbecameunnecessary.However,witheach
burnt-outbuildingordilapidatedfarmwepassed,Iwaschilledalloveragain.
WhenCasteelcaughtmestaringatsometoppledmarblecolumns
amongthereddishreeds,heasked,“Youdidn’texpectthis,didyou?”
Ishookmyhead.“Ididn’tknowitwaslikethis.Actually,
Ididn’tknowmuchaboutPompayorSpessa’sEnd,butIneverthoughtthiswas
thecase.Ibelievedthetownsstillexisted.SodidVikter.Hetalkedabout
wantingtovisittheBay.”
“Sofewtravelthisfaroutthatthereislittleriskofthe
peopleofSoliseverdiscoveringwhatwasdonetothetownsorthepeople.”
“Andthere’slittleriskofthemdiscoveringwhathasbeenrebuilt,”
Delanoadded.
Eventually,thedaygavewaytonight,andcoolerairwas
usheredbackin.Theemptyfieldswerereplacedbyaheavilywoodedareathatbordered
thefieldswerodenear.IwasbeginningtowonderifSpessa’sEndevenexisted
orwherewe’dbestayingwhenwereachedtheothersideoftheblackBaywhenI
heardthesoft,liltingcallofasongbird.
Casteelshiftedbehindme,liftinghishead.Hemimickedthe
crywithoneofhisown.Istartedtoturntohiminsurprisewhenthecallwas
returned.Itwasn’tsongbirds.Theyweresignals.ThemomentIrealizedthat,I
finallysawthesignsofacity.
MoonlightbathedthesandstonewallsoftheRiseinsilver.
NowherenearastallastheonessurroundingthelargercitiesinSolis,thestructure
stillstretchedatleastadozenfeetintotheair,andIcouldmakeoutnumerous
square-shapedparapetsspacedseveralfeetapart.
Ahead,heavyirondoorsshudderedandthengroaned,inching
open.TorchesjuttedoutfromthedeepandwidewallsoftheRise,casting
lightaroundtheperimeter.Thecourtyardwasmostlylefttotheshadows,but
fartheralong,lightflickeredlikeastaggeredseaoflow-hangingstars.
“Wasthisnot
destroyed?Orwasitrebuilt?”IaskedaswerodethroughtheRise.
“TheRisesufferedsomedamagebutremainedmostlyintact.
We’vebeenabletorepairthosesections.Seethelights?That’sStygian
Fortress.ItbelongedtothecaretakersoftheBayandwasreinforcedduring
theWarofTwoKings,”Casteelexplained.“Thefortresswaslargelyunscathed,
evenafterthewar.IsupposetheAscendedwereafraidtoincurthewrathof
Rhainbydestroyingthedwelling,sotheyleftitstanding.”
“Andthecaretakers?”Iwashalfafraidtoask.
“Theyareburiedbeyond,instonegraveswiththerestof
theoriginalpeopleofSpessa’sEnd,”heanswered.
Sick—Itrulyfeltsick.Twoentiretownsdestroyed.Andfor
what?AllbecausetheAscendedfearedthetruthanddidn’twanttorulesofar
east?Thiswasakindofevil,senselessandinconceivable,andIknewthat
Spessa’sEndandPompayprobablyweren’ttheonlyones.NewHavenwouldmost
likelyfacethesamefate,andtheonlysmallblessingwasthatElijahwas
movingthepeopleoutbeforetheytooendedupwithonlyapileofstonesasa
markerofthelivestheyled.
“Butwe’vereclaimedSpessa’sEnd,builtbackasmuchaswe
wereableto,”Casteelsaid.“AndtheAscendedhavenoidea.”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“You’llsee.”Casteel’sthumbmadeasweepalongmyhip.
“I’vefoundatemporaryanswertoourlandissues.”
BeforeIcouldquestionfurther,aformtookshapeonthe
road,haltinganyanswerstomyquestions.SettislowedasItensed,myhand
slippingtothedaggeronmythighoutofinstinct.
Casteel’shandfoldedovermine.“He’safriendly.”
“Sorry,”Imurmured.
“Don’tbe,”hesaidinalowvoice.“I’dratheryoubeprepared
thanbetootrusting.”
Atorchflamedtolife,castingareddishglowovertheface
ofayoungman.Hewasn’talone.Awolvenstoodbesidehim,asmalleronewith
furthecoloroftheBay.Withoutwarning,thewolvenboundedtowardus,jumping
andprancingaboutlikea…anexcitedpuppythatrecognizedvisitors.
“Someoneishappytoseeyou,”Kieranremarked.
CasteelchuckledashetightenedSetti’sreins.“Careful,
Beckett.Youdon’twanttogettooclosetothehorse.”
Theyoungwolvendancedbackashistailwaggedfrantically
beforehewiggledhiswaytowardDelano.
“YourHighness,”theyoungmanwhoheldthetorchsaidwith
avoicepitchedwithawe.Hedroppedtooneknee,bowinghishead,andIwas
halfafraidhe’dlosehisgriponthetorch.
“There’snoneedforthat,”Casteelsaid,drawinguscloser
totheyoungman.Heshiftedbehindme.“Isthatyou,Quentyn?”
Theman’sheadbobbed.“Yes,YourHighness—Imean,my
Prince.ItisI.”
“Gods,you’vegrownatleastafootortwosinceIlastsaw
you.”ThesmilewasevidentinCasteel’stone,andIalmostturnedtoseeit.
“DidAlastirdragyououthere?”
“Iwantedtogowithhim,”Quentynanswered.“Sodid
Beckett.”
“Maybeyoucantellhimtorise.”Kieranrodepasttheyoung
boy.“Thelongerhecontinuestokneel,thelargeryouregowillgrow.”
“Don’tknowifthat’spossible,”Naillsaidunderhis
breath.
Iraisedabrow.
Casteellaughed.“Youcanrise,Quentyn.AndcallmeCasteel,
likeeveryoneelse.”
QuentynrosesofastthatIhadnoideahowhedidn’tlight
hisheadonfireintheprocess.Admirationfilledtheboyishface.Itwastoo
darkformetomakeouthiseyesasheglancedcuriouslyinmydirection.
“We’vebeenwaitingforyou,hopefulthatyou’dmakeitheretonight.”
“Where’sAlastir?”Casteelaskedasthewolventrottedbetween
Delanoandus
“He’sretiredfortheevening.”
Casteelsnorted.“Morelikehepassedout.Hewastalking
aboutsomewhiskeyhe’dgottenhishandsonwhenIlastsawhim.”
“I…uh,dobelievethatthewhiskeymayhaveaidedinhis
inabilitytostayawake,”Quentynanswered
sheepishly.
Igrinned,unabletohelpmyself.
“Butwemadesurefireswerelitintheroomssinceitdoes
getchillyhereatnight,”Quentyncontinued,glancingupatmecuriously.
“Allowmetointroducemyfiancée.”Casteeltooknoteofhis
questioninglooks.“ThisisPenellaphe.”
Fiancée
Mygriponthesaddleloosened,andIwonderedifthe
dizzinesswasjustmyimagination.Ididn’tthinkI’devergetusedtohearinghim
saythat.
“Alastirsaidyou
werebringingaladywithyou—yourfiancée.”Thetorchbobbedalongwithhim.
“Imean,congratulations!Toyouboth.Youhearthat,Beckett?Thisisour
Prince’sfiancée.”
Beckett,thewolven,bouncedhappilyacrosstheroad,disappearing
intothebrush.
“Penellaphe,thisisQuentynDa’Lahr.Theoverlyexcitedpup
isBeckettDavenwill,agreat-nephewofAlastir.”
Actlikeyourself.ThatwaswhatCasteelhadadvisedearlier.
WhatwouldInormallydo?SittinghereandstaringattheyoungmanasifIhad
nobrainbetweenmyearswasnothowI’dbehave.Iwouldsmileandsayhello.I
coulddothat.
FixingwhatIhopedwasanormalsmileonmyface,Igave
Quentynasmallwave.“It’sapleasuretomeetyou.”
“It’sanhonortomeetyou!”Quentynofferedajauntywave
withthetorchinreturn.
Theenthusiasminhisvoiceandgreetingsoftenedmysmile,
anditnolongerfeltlikeitwasplasteredthere.
Ifeltratherproudofmyselfaswepassedacopseoftrees,
andthefortcameintoview.Torchesandlanternswarmedthesand-coloredstone
oftheancientfortress,whichrosehigherthantheRise.Massivecolumns
supportedwalkwaysthatconnectedtheroofofthestrongholdtotheRise.
Arrivingatthestables,Casteeldemountedwitheaseandthen
settledhishandsonmyhips,liftingmefromthesaddle.Mypulsethrummedas
mybodyslidagainsthis,ourheavycloaksprovingtobenorealbarrier.Thehands
atmyhipstightened.Ilookedup,hisgazecatchingmine.Foramoment,neither
ofusmovedaswestaredateachother.Therewasanintentintheshapeofhis
lips,onemybodyseemedtoinherentlyrecognizeandrespondto.Isuddenly
feltentirelytootightandyettoolooseatthesametime.Hisheadtilted,
sendingmybloodpumping.Anticipationwasswiftandsweet,andIknewIshould
pullaway.Wedidn’thavetobethisconvincing,butIdidn’tmove.I
couldn’t.Iwassnaredlikearabbit.
“Theroomsarerightoverhere,”Quentynannounced,breaking
thespell.Casteelturned,grabbingourbagsasQuentynheadedtowardourleft.
IpattedSettigoodnightandthenfollowedQuentyn.
“Noneoftheroomsontheupperlevelsareallthatuseable,
buttheonesonthegroundlevelareprettynice.”Hestoppedsuddenly.“Oh—one
second.Berightback.”
Bloodstillthrumming,IwatchedQuentyndartthroughan
opendoorway,intoalitroom.“He…um,heseemsyoung.”
“HejustwentthroughtheCulling,”Casteelexplained,andI
thoughthisvoicesoundedthicker,richer.
“I’msurprisedtoseehimouthere,”Kieransaid,having
reappeared.“Andthatone”—henoddedbehindus—“especially.”
IlookedtofindDelanoleadingthehorsestowardthe
stables.Thesmallwolventrottedbesidehim,earsperkedasDelanospoketo
him,tailwaggingfrantically.
“Botharefartooyoung.”Nailljoinedus.“Iwasunderthe
impressionthatnoneoftheyounghadmovedouthere.”
“AswasI.”Casteelsquinted.“ThelastIsawofBeckett,he
couldbarelycontrolholdingoneformortheother.”
Iblinked.“Isthatcommon?”
Kierannodded.“Ittakesatleasttwodecadesforustogain
controloverourtwohalves.Anyslightchangeofemotioncansendustofour
legsortwo.”
“Thathastobe…inconvenient.”
Helaugheddryly.“Youhavenoidea.”
“HaveAtlantiansrelocatedtoSpessa’sEnd?”Iasked.“Is
thatwhatyoumeantbyatemporaryfixtothelandissue?”
Casteelnodded.“Ithasn’tmadeahugeimpact.Notyet.But
ithasfreedupsomeofthehomesandland.Thosewho’vemovedoutherehave
beenhand-selectedforthemostpart.OldenoughandtrainedincasetheAscended
dohappentoventuretotheseparts,butthathasn’thappenedsincethe
Ascendedlaidsiegetothetown.”
“Howmanypeopleliveherenow?”Iasked.
“Ahundred,giveortakeafew.”
Irritationprickedatmeasmygazesweptoverthesmooth
stonefa?adeofthefortress.WhywasCasteeljustnowtellingmethisinstead
ofwhenhefirstspokeofthelandandthepopulationissueinAtlantia?Orat
anypointafterthat?Betteryet,whywasIirritatedthathehadn’t?Wasthis
informationevennecessaryformetoknow?Probablynot,butitstill…frustrated
me.
TheyoungAtlantianreappeared,carryingabundle.“Alastir
saidthatyoumaybeinneedofclothing,andwewereabletogathersome
items.Idon’tknowifanyofthiswillbehelpful,butit’sclean,andI’m
surewe’llbeabletogetyoumoreinthemorning.”
Itookthelightbundle.“I’msureitwillbeofuse.Thank
you.”
Quentynbeamedbeforepivotingonhisheel.Kieranlingered
backaswefollowedtheAtlantianthroughthecoveredwalkway.Hechattered,
tellingusaboutthewildlifehe’dseenaswepassedseveraldarkroomsand
thencontinuedaroundthesideofthefortresswhereitwasevidentthatno
roomswerenear.Hesworehesawacavecat,eventhoughAlastirtoldhimthat
therewerenonestillaliveinthisarea.
ThefirstthingIsawwasaterrace.Windcaughtthepinned
curtains,causingthematerialtosnapsoftly.AsQuentynunlockedthedoor,I
wasabletomakeoutachaiseloungeatoneend,andseverallow-to-the-floor
chairs.
QuentynhandedthekeyovertoCasteelandthenopenedthe
door.“Alastirmadesuretheroomwasairedoutandafirelitsincethenights
getkindofcoldhere.”
Alampturnedon,castinglightthroughoutthespacious,private
livingquartersoutfittedwithplushcouchesandadiningtable.
“Therearepitchersoffreshwaterbythefireplace.”
Quentynopenedanothersetofdoors,andIcaughtthescentoflemonand
vanilla.
Ifthelivingareahadbeenasurprise,thebedchamberwas
anuttershock.Thefireplacesatinthecorner,andasQuentynindicated,
severalpitcherssatonthefloorbeforeit.Inthecenteroftheroomwasacanopied
four-posterbedwithgauzywhitecurtains.Acrossfromitweredoublelattice
doorsthatappearedtoleadouttoanotherterrace.Ontheothersidewasan
entrywaytoabathingchamber.AllIcoulddowasstare.
“Ifeitherofyouwouldlike,Icangetmorewaterforthe
bath,”Quentynoffered.
Casteellookedtome,andIshookmyhead.Itwasfartoo
lateforallthatwork.“Thatwon’tbenecessary,butthankyou.”
“Ifyou’resure.”WhenInodded,Quentynadded,“Icannot
waittohaveashowerwheretheonlythingIhavetodoisturnaknob.”
“Shower?”
Casteelshotmeahalf-grin.“Insteadofsittinginthe
bath,youstand.Thecleanwatercomesfromtheceiling.It’smuchlike
standinginarainshower—awarmone.”
Istaredathim.
Adimpleappearedinhischeekasheturnedtotheother
Atlantian.“Shedoesn’tbelievethatwehaverunninghotwaterinAtlantia.”
Quentyn’seyesgrewtothesizeofsmallsaucers.“Hespeaks
thetruth.Ialwaystookitforgranted.Iwillneverdothatagain.”
Marvelingovertheconceptofastandingbaththatfeltlike
awarmrainshower,Ididn’tevenrealizethatQuentynhadleftuntilCasteel
spoke.
“Areyouhungry?”heasked,
placingourbagsatthefootofthebed.
Ishookmyhead,havingfilleduponthebakedbarsandnuts
Casteelhadbroughtwithus.“Ican’tbelievetheserooms.”Itouchedoneof
thecurtainsonthebed.“They’rebeautiful.”
“Myfatherwouldstayinthisoneortheotherroomthat
facestheBaywhenhetraveledtoSpessa’sEnd.Bothroomshavebeenupdatedas
muchaspossible.”
Iturnedbacktohim.“Iexpectedroomswiththebarenecessities.”
“Weeventuallyplantofixuptheroomsonthesecondfloor.
Thatwillallowformoretostayherewhilethehomesareeitherbeingrepaired
orrebuilt.”Hisgazeroamedoverme.“Iwanttocheckyourarm.”
“Itdoesn’tevenhurt,”Itoldhim,placingthesmallbundle
ofclothingonasetteethatsatinthecornernearthebed.
“Bethatasitmay,Iwouldstillliketoseeit.”
Knowingthathewouldn’tletitgo,Iunhookedmycloakand
hungitonahooknearthefireplaceandthenpulledupthesleeveofmy
sweatertunic.Istartedtotugattheknot,wonderingifhe’dtieditina
mannerthatrequiredscissorstoremove.
“Letme.”Heapproachedmeassilentlyasalways.Hisfingers
werewarmastheygrazedmyskin.Hehadtheknotuntiedinaheartbeat.The
bandageslippedaway,revealingathinslashthathadstoppedbleedingsome
timeago.Histhumbslidovertheskinnearthewound.“Thisdoesn’thurt?”
“Iswear.”Ibittheinsideofmycheek.Itdidn’thurt.His
touch,northearea.Thesmoothswipeofhisthumbfelt…pleasantandshivery.
Hischestrosewithadeepbreathandthenhedroppedmy
arm,takingastepback.“I’mgoingtocheckinwithQuentynandtheothers.Go
aheadandmakeyourselfcomfortable.I’msureyoumustbetired.Justmakesure
youcleanthewound.”
“Iwill.”
Hisgazemetmine,andallIcouldthinkaboutwasthose
momentsoutside,afterhe’dhelpedmedownfromSetti.Wouldhehavekissedme?
WouldIhaveallowedit?Iimaginedwewouldhavetokissinfrontofpeople.
“Getsomerest,Poppy.”
CasteelwasgonebeforeIcouldevenformulatearesponse,
andIknewIshouldberelievedbythat.ButI…
Iwasn’tsurewhatIwas.
Turningtothesettee,Iwalkedovertothebundleof
clothing.Therewasathinlilac-huedsleepingrobeandathicker,forestgreen
tunicthatwoulddefinitelycomeinhandy.
Unhookingthesheath,Ipartedthecurtainandwasgreeted
bysoftfursandamountainofpillows.
“Goodness,”Imurmured,placingthesheathonthebed.
Usingonlyoneofthewarmedpitchers,Icarrieditintothe
adjoiningchamber.HalfafraidCasteelwouldreturnwhileIstoodnaked,I
cleanedupasquicklyaspossibleinthemuchcoolerroom,makingsuretoclean
outthewoundwithfreshwaterandamint-scentedbarofsoap.OnceIwas
finished,Islippedonthesoftrobe,tyingthesasharoundmywaist.Digging
mybrushoutofmybag,Iundidmybraidandworkedthroughthetanglesinmy
hairasIstaredatthedoorwaytothelivingarea.
Sometimelater,whileundertheblanket,Iwasn’tthinking
abouttheDeadBonesClan,themarriage,orwhathadhappenedatthekeep.I
wasn’teventhinkingaboutwhatthesunwouldrevealaboutSpessa’sEndcome
morning,orhowstrangeitwasthatCasteelhadlefttheroomsoquickly.Ilay
therethinkingofallthosestonegraves,burnt-outandrundownhomesinPompay
andinthefieldsbetweenthetwocities.IfTawnywerehere,shewouldbeconvinced
thatspiritsroamedthenight.
Ishiveredasmyeyesdriftedshut,wonderinghowtheAscended
hadbeenallowedtogrowtothiskindofpowerwheretheycoulddestroyentire
citieswithnorecourse.
Andtheonlyanswerwasabitterone.
SoveryfewhadquestionedwhattheAscendedclaimed,and
I’dsimplyacceptedwhattheysaid,nevertrulygivinglifetoanyofthesuspicions
Ihad.Thatwentbeyondsubmissionandstraightintowillfulignorance.
Shameslitheredthroughme,anothertell-talesignthatin
manysmallways,I’dbeenapartoftheproblem.Aspokeinthewheelofthevery
systemthatbrutalizedhundredsofthousands,includingmyself.
Thefiremust’vebeenfedatsomepointduringthenight
becauseapleasantheatsurroundedmybody.Icouldn’tevenrememberbeingthis
toastyinmybedchamberbackinMasadonia.ThatwasmyfirstthoughtasI
slowlycameawake.
Ididn’twanttowakeupandleavethewarmthofthebednor
theheadyscentofdark,lushspiceandpine.Snugglingdownagainstthewarm,
hardbed,acontentedsighescapedme.
Wait.
Thehardbed?
That…thatdidn’tmakeanysense.Thebedhadbeensoft,the
kindthatyousankinto.Butnowitwaswarm,hard,andsmoothagainstmycheek
andhand.Notonlythat,thebedwaswrappedaroundmywaist,myhip—
Myeyesflewopen.Tinyparticlesofdustfloatedinthe
morningsunlightseepingthroughtheterracedoorsacrossfromthebed.The
curtainshadbeentiedback,andIknewIhadn’tdonethatbeforeIfell
asleep.
AndIwasn’tlyingonthebed,atleastnotcompletely.What
wasundermycheekwasn’tapillow.Itwasachestthatroseandfellsteadily.
Beneathmyhandwasn’ttheworntextureoftheblanket,butastomach.Thebed
wasn’twrappedaroundme.Itwasaheavyarmovermywaistandacallusedpalm
againstmyhip—mybarehip.
Ohmygods,IwasusingCasteelasmyownpersonalpillow.
AndbasedonthefactthatIwaslyingonhim,itwasmewho
hadsoughthimoutinmysleep.Whenhadheevenreturnedtotheroom?Didthat
matteratthemoment?Itdidn’tasIbecameawareofeveryplaceourbodies
met.
Thiswasnothinglikecurlinguptogetherwhilecampingon
theroad.Therewasnoexcuseforbeingalltangledupinhim.
Ilaytherefrozen,mybreathinmythroat.Mybreastswere
pressedagainstthesideofhisbody.Oneofhisthighswastuckedbetweenmine,
thesoftbuckskinofhisbreechesnestledagainstavery,veryintimatepartof
me.Therobehadpartedbelowthesashinmysleep.Therewasnothingbetweenhis
palmandmyskin,andthathandspannedmyhip,thetipsofhisfingersresting
againstthecurveofmyrear.
Asweet,hotfeelingsweptoverme,andmyeyesdrifted
shut.IknewIshouldn’tfeelthis.Itwasrecklessandstupidandfeltohso
dangerous.Insteadofbaskinginhowhisbodyfeltagainstmine,Ishouldbe
plottingawaytosomehowextractmyselffromhimwithoutwakinghimup,butmy
brainwentinatotallydifferentdirection.ItwasalmostlikeIcould…pretend
again.Thatthiswasokay.ThatHawkewasholdingmeinhissleep,and
thatthiswasjustoneofmanymorningswewokeuplikethis.He’dkissmeand
touchme,fittingourbodiestogether,andthiswouldhappenbecausewewere
loversabouttomarryfornoreasonotherthanthefactthatwewantedand
desiredandneededeachother.Mybreathcaughtagain,andmypulsequickened.
Heatedlightningdancedovermyskinandzippedthroughmyveins.Icould
almostimaginethehandonmyhipslippingmoretomybehindandthenlower
still.ThosefingersofhiswerecapableofelicitingsensationsIhadn’teven
knownwerepossible,notevenafterreadingthescandalousdiaryofMissWilla
Colyns.Myentireworldconcentratedonthememoryofhisfingersskimmingover
thesensitiveskinofmyinnerthighsandthenslippinginsideme.Athrobbing
achesettledinmycore,andatinypartofmewishedIhadneverexperienced
suchpleasureathishands.IfIhadn’t,Iwouldn’twantthisnow,butthatwas
onlyasmallpart.Therestcouldn’tregretexperiencingsomethingsopowerful
andbeautifulwhenI’dspentmostofmylifebeingforbiddentoknowwhat
pleasurefeltlike.
ButIshouldn’tbethinkingaboutthis—aboutwhatithad
beenlikeforhimandme,andhowhemademefeelevennow.Becauseinthe
earlymorninghours,whenitwasjustme,Icouldadmitthatwhatheelicited
frommewentbeyondthephysical.
Itdidn’tseemtomatterthatIreallyshouldn’tdesireany
ofthis,butmybodydidn’tcareaboutwhatwasrightandwrong.Istillshivered
withneedasmytoescurled.
Casteelshiftedagainstme,andmyheartseemedtostopin
mychest.Hewasasleep,butcouldhestill…sensemydesire?Hisarmtightened,
pullingmemorefirmlyagainsthim.Histhighpressedagainsttheapexofmine.
Ashocking,achingpulsericochetedthroughmeinhot,tightwaves.Suddenly,
evenmybrainbetrayedme.Iwasbombardedwithimagesandsensations—the
wickedmemoryofhismouthnuzzlingmyneck,theslideandscrapeofsharp
teeth,andtheburstofpainthathadsoquicklyturnedintointensepleasure.
Therewasawildfireinmyblood,poolinginmycore.Inthefurthestreachesof
mymind,IknewthiswastheslipperyslopeIfearedwouldcomewith
this…arrangementofours.Sharingabed.Pretendingtobe…inlove.Touchingand
kissing.Pretending…
PretendingIalreadywasn’tslippingdownthatslope.
Hisarmloosened,butIwasstillpressedagainsthim,my
heartpoundingsofastIwouldbesurprisedifhedidn’tfeelit.Washestill
asleep?EachbreathItookscorchedmylungsasIcarefullyliftedmycheek.
Hisheadwasturnedslightlyawayfromme.Atumbleofdark
wavesfallingoverhisforehead.Thelineofhisbrowandthecurveofhisjaw
wererelaxed.Thicklashesshieldedhiseyes,andhislipswerepartedashis
chestcontinuedtoriseandfallindeep,steadybreaths.
Unabletolookaway,IwassnaredbyhowpeacefulCasteel
appearedwhileasleep,howyoungandvulnerable.Seeinghimlikethis,Inever
would’veguessedthathewasovertwohundredyearsoldorthathewascapable
ofsuchferal,deadlyaction.
Mygazedriftedoverhisfeatures,settlingonhisfullmouth.
Ishould’veknownthefirsttimeIsawhimthathewasn’tmortal.Noonelooked
likehim.AtleastnoonefromtheKingdomofSolis,includingeventhemost
beautifulAscended.Whyhadhewantedme?Whydidhestillwantme?Butthe
nighthe’dhelpreplacethepanicandfearfromthenightmarewithsomething
good,somethingwanted,hehadn’tsoughtanypleasureforhimself.Did
thatmeanhedidn’twantthat…frommeanylonger?
Thosequestionsdidn’tcomefromtheniggleofinsecurity
thatIdideverythingtokeephidden,butsimplyfrompurelogic.Iknewwhat
halfofmelookedlike.Iknewhowpeoplesawtheotherhalf.Manywouldn’t
considermeundeniablyattractiveeventhoughIhadheardpeopleclaimthat
attractiondidn’talwaysstemfromthephysical.ButIwasn’tsureifthatwastrue.
Itwasn’tlikeIhadalotofexperiencewithsuchthings.QueenIleanahad
oncetoldmethatbeautywasmorethanstraight,smoothlinesassheshowedme
theStar,adiamondhighlycovetedthroughouttheKingdomforitsrarityand
luminous,silverappearance.
“Themostbeautifulthingsinallthekingdomoftenhave
jaggedandunevenlines,scarswhichintensifythebeautyinintricatewaysour
eyesnorourmindscandetectorevenbegintounderstand,”theQueenhad
saidassheturnedthediamondinherhand,lightcatchingonitsirregular
dipsandpeaks.“Withoutthem,theywouldjustbecommonandordinary,like
alltheothersmoothlycutdiamondsyoucanfindanywhereyoulook.Beauty,my
sweetchild,isoftenbrokenandbarbed,andalwaysunexpected.”
Iwasn’tsureifwhatshesaidheldtrueforpeople.It
didn’tseemthatway,becauseCasteelwasallsmooth,straightlines,andhe
wasmagnificent.
Whyhewantedmeorhowhecouldwhentherewereotherswith
equallysmooth,straightlinesdidn’tmatter.WhatdidwasthefactthatIwas
staringathimwhileheslept,andthatwasborderlinecreepy.
Tuggingmygazeaway,IbitdownonmylipasIdecidedthat
thiswouldverymuchbelikerippingabandagefromawound.Iwouldneedto
justmove.Doitfastandwell,andhopethathedidn’twakeuntilIfixedthe
stupidrobeorbeforeherealizedIwassleepingonhim.Istartedtopull
away—
Withoutanywarning,Casteelmoved.Therewasnotimeto
evenrespond.Hewasshockinglyfastasherolledmeunderhim,ahandcurled
aroundmythroat.Igaspedinshock.
Casteel’seyesweresodilatedthatonlyathinstripofamber
shoneashislipspeeledback,revealingsharp,slightlyelongatedfangs.A
low,feralgrowlofwarningrumbledoutofhimandvibratedthroughme.
“Casteel!”Iforcedoutaroundtheholdonmythroat.“What
iswrongwithyou?”
Thegriponmyneck
tightened,forcingaharshbreathoutofme.Instincttookover,breaking
throughthecoatingofsurpriseasIswungathimwithmyfist,fullyplanning
tobringitdownonhisarm,breakinghisholdonme.Itneverhappened.
Hecaughtmyhand,thrustingitdowntothebed.Istrained
againsthim,buthishandwaslikeabandofsteel.Liftingmylefthand,I
sankmyfingersintohishairandpulledhard,jerkinghisheadback.“Letgo
ofme!”
Thesoundthatcamefromhimsentgoosebumpsrushingacross
myskinasheeasilyresisted,levelinghisheadoncemore
Therewasnovisibleambertohiseyesnow,andthewayhe
lookedatmewaslike…likehehadnoideawhoIwas.Asifhedidn’tseeme.
Myheartstopped.Something…somethingwasn’tright.
“Casteel?”
Theonlyanswerwasa
snarlthatremindedmeofaverylarge,corneredwildanimalasthosenearly
blackeyesmoveddownthelengthofme.Hedidn’tseemtorecognizehisnameor
me.
Atonce,Irememberedwhathe’dtoldme.Hehadnightmares,
andsometimeswhenhewoke,hedidn’tknowwherehewas.Thathadtobewhatwas
happeninghere.
Iwilledmyhearttosteady.“Casteel,it’sme—”
Therumblingwarningcameoncemore.Hisnostrilsflaredas
heinhaledsharply.Modestybedamned.Ididn’tcarethateverythingfromthe
waistdownwasclearlyvisiblebecauseofanightmareorsomethingelse,
whateverwasgoingon,ithadagriponhim.IhadahorriblesuspicionthatI
wassecondsawayfromturningintobreakfast.
RememberingthedaggerI’dplacedunderthepillow,I
reachedbehindme,graspingthehandleasCasteelshiftedaboveme,hishand
leavingmythroattocurlaroundmyhip—
ShocksplashedthroughmeasIfeltthecurveofhischin
againstmylowerstomach.Oh,gods,whatwashedoing?Isnatcheduptheblade,
sittingupasfarasIcouldwithonehandstillpinnedtothebedbyhis.I
pressedthedaggeragainsthisneck.
Heseemedcompletelyunawareaswarmbreathdancedlower.
Tensionclampeddownonmychest,andcoiledevenlower—unexpectedlyand
crazily.Becausehewas—
Oh,gods
Itdidn’tmatterwhatIthought.Neitherdidtheindecentthrobbing
echoingfromwithinmeorthewaymyentirebodyseemedtoclenchtightlyas
hisbreathnearedthespacebetweenmythighs.Anothergrowlcamefromtheback
ofhisthroat,thisonedifferent,deeperandcoarser.
“Idon’tknowwhatiswrongwithyou,Casteel,butyouneedto
letgoofme.”Iputpressureonhisthroatwiththeblade.“Orwewillfind
outwhathappenstoanAtlantianwhentheirthroatiscut.”
Thatseemedtocatchhisattentionbecausehestilledandlifted
hisgaze.Thoseall-blackeyesshookme.Iwilledmyhandtostaysteady.I
knewifhedecidedtostrike,there’dbeverylittleIcoulddotostophim.I
couldmakehimbleedifgiventhechance,maybeevenworse.“Getoffme,”Iordered.
“Now.”
Hewasincrediblystillashestareddownatme,likeapredator
whohadsighteditspreyandwasabouttopounce.Itensedasmygiftcame
alive,spillingoutfrommeinthewayitdidwhenIwasinacrowdof
heightenedemotions.Therewasnostoppingit.Theconnectionwasmade,andhis
feelingsrushedthroughmeinawaveof…gnawingdarknessand
insatiablehunger.ThekindIhadexperiencedmyselfonmorethanoneoccasion
whenDukeTeermanwasdisappointedwithsomethingIdidordidn’tdoandIwas
deniedfooduntilIlearnedtodobetter.Thelongesthadbeenthreedays,and
thathungerhadbeenthekindthattwisteduptheinsidesinpainfulneed.That
wasn’ttheonlythingIfelt.Underthefeelingofutteremptinesswasalush,
darkspicecoatingmymouthandstokingthebankedflamesinsideme.
Casteelwashungry.
Starving
Wasitforblood?He’dsaidthatAtlantiansneededtheblood
oftheirown.Hadhebeen…feeding?Surely,hehad.TherewereAtlantianshere.
He’dbittenmeafewdaysago.He’ddrunkfromme,butnotalot.Ihadnoidea
howpotentmybloodwas,butifitcouldmakevamprys,Iimagineditheldsome
alluretohim.IalsohadnoideahowoftenanAtlantianneededtofeed,but
thatsumptuous,heavyfeelingcoursingthroughtheconnectionsparkedaprimal
sortofknowledgethatthiswasn’tjustaboutsatisfyingaphysicalhunger.
Butunderthehunger,Ididn’tfeelanyotheremotions.The
razor-sharpsadnessthatalwayscutthroughhimwasabsent.Ididn’tknowif
anypartofCasteelorevenHawkewasinsidehimnow.
MyheartpoundedasItuggedonmyleftarm,theonestill
pinnedtothebedbesidemywaist.Hisgriploosened,andhethenletgo,but
hedidn’tmove.Iwasoverlyawareofhowclosehisbreath,hismouthwastothe
mostsensitivepartofmeandwhereIknewamajorarterywaited.Hishead
turnedjusttheslightestbit,andhischingrazedthecreaseofmythigh.
Severalincheslower,closertotheknee,werethegougesinmyskinthat
lookedlikeclawmarksbuthadbeenmadebytheteethofaCraven.Ifeltnone
ofthehorrorandfearasIhadthen,northerevulsionandcertaintyofdeath.
AllIfeltwasadeliciousache.
Thehandthatheldtheknifetohisthroattrembledasa
forbiddenpulseofarousalthunderedthroughme.Itwaswrong,andIshouldn’t
feeltheheat,thedampnessgatheringthere.Butitalsofeltright,andso
natural,evenwhilenoneofthisseemednatural.
Hemadethatsoundagain,therollingrumble,andmyentire
bodyshuddered.Icouldbarelybreathe,letalonethink.Mysenseswerefiring
allatonce,andwhenhedippedhishead,myarmwentlax,bendingto
accommodate.Myfingersspasmedopen,andtheknifefelltothebedbesideme.
Whatareyoudoing?Whatiswrongwithyou?Whatareyou—?
Hegrippedmyhipswithbothhands,liftingme,andthenhis
mouthwasonme,obliteratingthepanickyquestions.Theairleftmylungsas
histongueslicedovertheverycenterofme.Thiswasn’tlikethelasttime,
theonlytime.Therewasnoteasing,slowexplorationasheguidedmeintothe
wickedact.Thistime,hedevouredme,capturingmyfleshwithhis
mouth,delvingintothewarmthanddampnesswithfirm,determinedstrokesof
histongue.HefedfrommeasifIwerethesweetestnectar,thesourceofthe
verylifeforceheneeded.Iwasconsumed.
Cryingoutasmyheadkickedback,Iwaslostintheraw
sensations.Mybodymovedofitsownaccord—ortriedto.Heheldmefirmlyin
place,andtherewasnomatchingthesinfulassault,noescapingitevenifI
wantedto.Fierceheatbuiltinsideme,twistingandtighteningaseverything
inmeseemedtoconcentrateonwherehewas.MybackarchedasIgraspedthe
sheetsfittedtothebed.Hislipsmovedagainstme,histongueinsideme,andthe
sharpgrazeofhisteethscrapedthebundleofnerves.Thesensationechoedin
thehealedbitemarkonmyneck.Itwastoomuch.IscreamedasIshattered,
breakingapartintoathousandsatin-garbedshardsofpleasureasintense,
stunningreleaserolledthroughmeinundulatingwaves.
IwasstilltremblingwhenIfelthimlifthishead.
Blinkingmyeyesopeninadaze,Iloweredmychinandwhatlittleairhad
enteredmylungsleftme.
Hiseyeswerepitch-blacknow,noambertobeseen,butthey
weren’temptyandcoldliketheAscended’s.Theywereendlessandheated,but
equallydisconcertingtolookinto.Hisglisteninglipsparted—
Aterracedoorswungopen,andagustofwindsweptthrough
theroomandoverthebedasKieranstormedinside,hishandonthehiltofhis
sword.
Hedrewupshort,browsinchinguponhisforehead.Ihadno
ideawhathecouldseeorhowmuchCasteel’sbodyshieldedsincethecurtains
hadbeenpulledback.“Iheardyouscream,”Kieransaidinwayofexplanation.
“Obviously,Imisreadthesituation.”
Therewasnotimetofeeltheburnofmortification.
Casteel’sheadswunginKieran’sdirection.Aviolentsnarlofwarningdoused
thelanguidheatinmybody.ThatwasafardifferentsoundthanwhatI’dheard
fromhim,evenwhenhefirstwoke.Thispromisedblood-soakeddeath.
“Shit,”Kieranmuttered,hispalebluegazewideningonthe
Atlantian.“Cas,mybrother,Iwarnedyouthiswouldhappen.”
IhadnoideawhatKieranhadwarnedCasteelabout,butI
couldseehismusclestensing,preparing,andmygift…ohgods,mygiftwas
stillopen,stillconnectedtohim.WhatIfeltfromhimthentrulyscaredme.
TheacidicstingofangermingledwithacharredtasteIwasunfamiliarwith,
butwhateveritwas,itwasbadenoughthatIfearedforKieran’slife.
AndIwasn’texactlysurewhenIstartedtocareifthe
wolvenlivedordied,buthisdeathwouldbe…itwouldbeyetanother
unnecessaryone.Ididn’twantthat.
“Casteel,”Itried,hopingthatwouldgarnerhisattention,
andnotofthemurderousvariety.
Hedidn’tseemtohearme,hischindroppingevenloweras
hisfingersslidfrommyhips.Snarling,hebaredhisfangs.
“Ihopeyou’relistening,Poppy,”Kieransaid,voicelowand
unbelievablycalmasheletgoofthehiltofhissword.“Whenhelungesfor
me,Ineedyoutorun.Gototheareanearthestables.Itwillhavedouble
doors.FindNaillorDelano.Getready.”
Getready?Heexpectedmetorun?BesidesthefactthatI
rarelyranforhelp,IdoubtedthatIwouldevenmakeittothedoor.
“Casteel,”Itriedagain,andwhenIfeltthepowercoiling
inhim,IdidtheonlythingIcouldthinkof.Usingmygift,Ireachedoutand
placedmyhandonhisarm.IthoughtofeverywonderfulfeelingI’deverfelt.
Walkingonthebeachwithmymotherholdingonehandandmyfatherholdingthe
otherwithIandancinginfrontofus,kickingupsand.Isentthatthroughthe
connection,throughthecontactofmyfleshtohis,usingthesametechniqueI
didtotemporarilygiveareprievefrompain.Ididn’tknowwhyIsaidwhatI
didnext,otherthanIneededto.“It’sokay,Hawke.”
Hisentirebodyjerkedasifaninvisiblehandhadgrabbed
himbyhisshoulderandpulled.Chestrisingandfallinginrapid,shortpants,
hisbackbowedashishandslandedoneithersideofmyhips.Hedidn’tmove.
Notforseverallongmoments,butslowly,throughmyabilities,Inolongerhad
thecharredtasteinmymouth,andIfeltsomethingunderthehunger—acyclone
ofshameandsadness.
Slowly,heliftedhis
headandopenedhiseyes.Iletoutaraggedbreath.Theywereamber,theonly
blackhispupils.Hisgazemetmine,andalongmomentstretchedoutbetween
us.Swallowingthickly,Idroppedmyhandashelookeddown
“Honeydew,”Casteelwhispered.Hegrabbedthehalvesofmy
robe,tuggingitovermyhipsandmythighs.Hishandslingeredthere,afaint
tremorcoursingthroughthemasheliftedhisgazetomineoncemore.“I’m
sorry.”
Andthenherosefromthebedandwalkedoutoftheterrace
doors,pastKieran,withoutsayinganotherword.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter23
Sunlightstreamedinthroughtheterracedoors,andfor
severalmoments,allIcoulddowassitthereandstareattheopendoor.I
couldn’tbelievewhat’dhappened,fromthemomentIwokeup,alltangledup
withhim,untilheleftthebedchamber.Whathadhappenedtohimleftme
confused.Andmyactions,whatI’ddoneandallowed,leftmestunnedandina
daze.
Casteelhadlosthismind.
I’dlostmymind.
Kieranclosedthedoor,cuttingofftherushofsweet-scented
airandsnappingmefrommythoughts.Mygazecuttowherehestoodinfrontof
thefireplace.Theflameshadcalmed,nolongerstirredbythewind.“Didhehurt
you?”
“What?”MyvoicewashoarseasIblinked.
“Didhehurtyou,Penellaphe?”Kieranrepeated,hisvoice
softening.
“No.He…”Ilookedatmybarelegs.Hehadn’thurtme.He
could’ve,andIwasn’tevensureifhehadn’twantedto,buthe’ddonethefurthest
thingfromhurtingme.Reachingfortheblanket,Ituggedittomywaist.
AmuscleflexedinKieran’sjaw.“Hedidn’tforcehimselfon
you?”
“Gods,no.”Ishovedthehairbackfrommyfaceandcaught
sightoftheknife.ItremainedwhereI’ddroppeditonthebed.Casteelhadn’t
forcedanything,andthetruthwas,Icould’vestoppedwhat’dhappenedatany
pointifIwantedto.Icould’vewoundedhimenoughtoattemptanescape.ButI
hadn’tbecauseI…I’dwantedwhat’dhappened.I’dwokenupwanting
that.AndIdidn’tknowifCasteelhadsensedmydesirethroughwhateverhad
itsclawsinhim,butregardless,Ihadwantedthat.
Him.
Isearchedforremorseorshame,anythingthatwouldshow
thatIregrettedwhat’dtakenplace,buttherewasnothing.Likebefore,there
wasjustvastconfusionandirritationwithmyselfbecauseIknewbetter—knew
thatthingslikethisjustaidedinmefallingmoreandmoreforhim.Nottoo
longago,Ihadtoldhimthatnothinglikethatwouldeverhappenagain,andI’d
proventhatIcouldn’ttrustmyselftomakegoodlifechoices—notonceortwice
butthreetimes.Thepantry.Thenightmare.Andnow,this.HowcouldIwanthim
sobadlythatIdidn’tcareaboutwhathedidorwhohewas?Orwhathemight
dotome?
“Whathappened?”Kieranasked.
Ittookacoupleofmomentsformetogathermythoughts.“He
wokeup,anditwaslikehedidn’trecognizeme.Hewassnarling,andhiseyes
werepitch-black.”IleftoutquiteabitthereasIlookedatKieran,butI
wassurehealreadyknewagreatdealofwhat’dhappened.“Hiseyesremindedme
ofanAscended.Ishe…willhebeokay?”
Kieran’sfacewasimpressivelyblank,consideringwhathad
justhappened.“Heshouldbeoncehecoolsdown.”
“Coolsdown?Ithinkheneedsmorethanthat.”Iglancedat
thedoor.“Hewasabouttoattackyou.”
“Inthatmoment,hesawmeasachallenge.”Hepaused.“A
threat.”
“Towho?Him?”
“You.”
Myheartturnedoverheavily.“Thatdoesn’tmakesense.”
Kieranfoldedhisarmsoverhisbroadchest.“Underthe
rightor,Isupposeextremecircumstances,thoseofhiskindcan
becomequitepossessive.”
“Withwhat?Theirmeals?”
“Didhebiteyou?”
“Otherthanthefirsttime?”Iresistedtheurgetotouch
thenearlyfadedmarkonmythroat.“No.”
Somethingakintodisappointmentflickeredoverhisface,
andwithoutthinking,Iopenedmygiftandreachedouttohim.Therewouldbe
timelatertofeelguiltoverpryingwhenitdidn’tseemexactlynecessary.
WhatIfeltwasn’twhatIimagineddisappointmenttofeellike.Thiswasthick
andcloying,remindingmeoftoo-heavycream.Concern.Hefelt
concern.Ipulledmysensesback.
“Whatwaswrongwithhim?”Iasked,eventhoughIalready
suspectedIknew.
Hewatchedmeforamoment.“He’llbefine.Although,Isuggest
youtakethistimetoprepareyourselfbeforehereturns.”
Frustrationsurged,andInarrowedmyeyes.“Thanksforthe
suggestion,butyoudidn’tanswermyquestion.Yousaidthatyouwarnedhim.
Aboutwhat?”
Kieransaidnothing.
Neverabletoremainseatedwhenangerstartedpumping
throughmyblood,Igrabbedthedaggerandshovedofftheblanket,standing.
Heraisedaneyebrowatme.“Youplantousethat?”
“WhydoeseveryonethinkI’mgoingtostabthemwhenIpick
upanythingthat’snotblunt?”
“Well,”Kieranrepliedblandly,“youdohaveahabitof
doingexactlythat.”
Istartedtoarguebutquicklyrealizedthat,unfortunately,
hehadapoint.“Onlywhenit’sdeserved.”Iplacedthedaggeronthesmall
woodentable.“Andit’snotmyfaultthatsomeofyoudeservetobestabbed.
Repeatedly.”
HeinclinedhisheadasifheagreedwiththepointI’d
made.“Youshouldn’tworryabouthim—”
“Andyoushouldanswermyquestion.”Ifacedhim.“Something
wasobviouslywrongwithhim.Hewasn’tincontrol,andIfelthishunger.He
wasstarving.”
“Soyouusedyourabilities?”Afaintsmileappeared.“Glad
youtookmyadvice.”
Irolledmyeyes.“IknowthatAtlantiansneedtofeedoff
otherAtlantians.Hetoldmethattheydon’tneedthebloodofmortals,butof
theirownkind.Thattheyneedtofeed.Butheneversaidwhy.Imaynotbea
scholaronallthingsAtlantian,butI’mguessingtheblackeyesandhimbeing
readytobiteyourheadoffareacoupleofthereasonsAtlantiansneedto
feed?”
“Theblackeyes,yes.Butthewantingtobitemyheadoff
probablyhadmoretodowithwhatevermorningactivitiesyoutwowereindulging
in.”
Myfaceflamedhotly,andittookeverythinginmetoignore
that.“Heneedstofeed—”Ithoughtaboutearlier,aftertheDeadBonesClan
attack.“That’swhyhewasstaringatmyarminthewoods!Whenyouaskedifhe
wasokay.Hewashungrythen.That’swhyhewas…allgrowlyandwantedtobite
yourheadoff.”
“Partofthereason.Yes.”Kieranlookedaway,dragginghis
teethoverhislip.Alongmomentpassed.“Heneedstofeed.Icouldtellhe
wasgettingtotheedge,buthe’snotabouttotipoverit.He’snotthat
close.”
Uneaseblossomed.“Howcanhenotbeclose?Hedidn’t
recognizeyouorme.”
Hisgazeslidbacktomine.“Ifhewasclosertotheedge,
hewould’verippedmyheadoff,andyouwouldbeAscendingaswespeak,
forbiddenornot.Or,you’dbedead.Ifhewastooclosetotheedge,onedrop
ofyourbloodwould’vesenthimover.Youmostlikelywould’vedied,andwhenhe
realizedwhathe’ddone,hewould’ve…Idon’tevenwanttothinkaboutwhathe
would’vedone.”
Isuckedinasharpbreath,unsurewhichofthosetwo
optionswasworse.Well,Kierangettinghisheadtornoffsoundedwaymorepainful
and…messythanwhatcould’vehappenedtome.
IfCasteelhadbeentooclosetotheedge,ifhe’dfedand
thenendedupturningme,Iwouldbecome…anAscended.Unabletocontrolmy
bloodlust.Unabletowalkinthesun.Virtuallyimmortal.Butwhatkindoflife
wasthat?
ThoughwhatkindoflifewouldIevenhavewithCasteel?Bythe
timeIwasoldandgray,hewouldlookashedidnow.Young.Vital.Hewould—
Wait.WhywasIeventhinkingaboutafuture—ourfuture—when
therereallywasn’tone?MaybeItrulyhadlostmymind.
IfeltlikeIneededtositdown.“Ifthiswashimnotclose
totheedge,thenIdon’tthinkIwanttoseehimonit.”
“No,youdonot.”Kierantippedhisheadbackagainstthe
wall.“Didhewakeupnormally,orwashestartledawake?”
ThinkingofwhatI’dbeendoingandfantasizingaboutbefore
he’dwokenup,IwasgladthatKieranwasn’tlookingatme.“IthinkIwokehim
up.Imoved,andthat’swhenhesortoflaunchedhimselfatme.”
“Thatmakessense,”hemurmured,eyesclosing.“Idon’tlike
talkingabouthim—aboutthiskindofstuff.IfheknewIwas,heprobablywould
ripmyheadoff.I’ddeserveitbecausetherearethingsonlyheshouldbe
allowedtorepeat.ButIthinkyouneedtoknowthiseventhoughI’mnotsure
youdeservetobeprivytotheknowledge.”
“Whywouldn’tIbedeserving?”Iasked.Itwasn’tlikeIwas
theonerunningaroundandkidnappingpeople.Casteelwas.
“Becausethisissomethingonlyclosefriendsandlovedones
shouldbeprivyto,andyouareneither.”
Well,hehadapointthere.ButIalreadyknewwhatKieran
didn’tthinkwouldberighttoshare.“Hetoldmebeforethathehad
nightmares,andthatsometimeswhenhewoke,hedidn’tknowwherehewas.”
Inanyothersituation,Iwould’velaugheduponseeing
Kieransosurprised.Butnoneofthiswasfunny.“Hetoldyou?”
Inodded.“Ihadanightmare—Ihavebadones—andafterone
ofthemwokehim,hetoldmeabouthis.”
Kieran’sexpressionsmoothedout.“Yes.Hehasnightmares.
YouknowwhatwasdonetohimwhenhewasheldbytheAscended.Sometimes,he
findshimselfbackthere,cagedandused,hisbloodnorhisbodyhis.”
Thistime,Isatdownbeforeevenrealizingit,thoughI
wasn’tsurprisedtofindmyselfthere.Theheavinessofhiswordshadputmethere,
andthereminderoftheagonyandhorrorofwhatCasteelhadfacedkeptmethere.
“Whenhehasthosenightmareshetoldyouabout,andifhe’s
startledawake,sometimeshismindgetsstuckinthatmadness,”Kieranwenton.
Andifanyoneknewhownightmarescouldfeelsoveryreal,itwasme.“Andif
hehasn’tfed,hecanslipalittleintotheanimaltheyturnedhiminto.”
Amonster.
Shuddering,Iclosedmyeyes.WhathadhesaidwhenI’d
calledhimamonster?Iwasn’tbornthatway.Iwasmadethisway.
Buthewasn’tthat.MyheartachedasfiercelyasithadwhenCasteelhadtold
meabouthiscaptivity.
Lettingoutashakybreath,IopenedmyeyestofindKieran
watchingme.“He’snotananimal,”Isaid,andIwasn’tsurewhyI’dsaidit,
butIneededto.“Idon’tknowwhatheis,buthe’snotthat.He’snota
monster.”
“No,he’snot.”Hisheadtiltedtotheside.“Ithinkyou
would’velikedhimifyouhadmethimbeforeallofthis.”
UncomfortablewithhowmuchIwould’vepreferredthat,I
foldedonearmovermywaist.
Asad,wrysmileformedonKieran’sface,almostasifheknew
whatIwasthinking.“Iimaginealotwouldbedifferent.”
Inoddedslowly,pullingmyselfoutofthewellofsorrow
thatwasacaverninmychest.“Whyhasn’thefed?TherewereAtlantiansatthe
keep,right?ThereareAtlantianshere.”
Kierannodded.“Therearemanyhecould’vefedfrombuthe
hasn’t.”
“Why?Whywouldheletitgettothispoint?”
Heraisedaneyebrow.“That’sadamngoodquestion,isn’t
it?”
Mydamngoodquestiondidn’thaveananswer,anditplagued
measIwashedupanddressedinthebaggypantsandthedeepgreentunicthat
hadbeeninthebundleQuentynhadgivenme.Otherunansweredquestions
botheredme,aswell.Whywouldn’tCasteelhavefed?Werethenightmaresalso
partlyresponsibleforthecuttingsadnessthatclungtohim?Ifthiswashim
nottooclosetotheedge,thenwhatwashelikewhenhewasattheedge?What
would’vehappenedifhehadn’t…well,fedfrommedifferently?
AndwhyintheworldhadIallowedhim,whenhewas
obviouslynotinhisrightmind,todowhathe’ddone?Andwhyhadhe
donethat?Didbloodlustelicitsuchactions?Orwasitbecausehe’dsensedmy
arousal?Mycheeksburned,andIwasn’tsureIwantedtoknowtheanswerto
thatquestion.
Eitherway,IhadbeenwrongwhenIsaidthatIdidn’thave
adeathwish.Becausewhatifhehadbeenteeteringonthatedgeandhe’dused
thatmouthforsomethingelse?
MystomachdippedasIranabrushthroughmytangledhair.
Inthesoftlamplight,thestrandsremindedmemoreofaruby-huedwinethana
blazingfire,likeitoftendidinthesun.Iangledmyheadtotheside.The
bitemarkswerenolongervisible,butIleftmyhairdownanywayandthen
steppedbackintothebedchamber.
Kieranstoodbytheterracedoors,staringoutthem.I
wasn’texactlysurprisedtoseethathewasstillhere.“Areyouonbabysitting
duty?Iagreedtothemarriage,”IsaidasIpickedupthethighsheath.The
wordmarriagestillsoundedstrangeonmytongue.“I’mnotgoingto
run.”
Heturnedtome.“Iwaswaitingtoseeifyou’dliketoget
somebreakfast.”
“Oh.”Islidthewolvendaggerintotheholderandthen
straightenedthehemofthetunic.Thetopwasmoreform-fittingthanIwas
usedto,butitwasclean.Iglancedatthedoor.“Shouldwe…shouldwewait
forCasteel?”
Heturnedtome.“Thatwon’tbenecessary.He’llfindus
whenhe’sready.”
Inibbledonmylowerlip.Itdidn’tfeelrighttogooff
whenhewas…well,goingthroughwhateverhewas.Anditalsofeltweirdtobe
soconcernedabouthim.
“Areyouhungryrightnow?”Kieranasked,draggingmyattention
backtohim.“OrwouldyouliketoseetheBay?”
“TheBay,”Ichose,knowingmystomachwasstilltootiedup
inknotstoeatanythingyet.
“Good.”Kieranturnedandopenedthedoor.
WarmerairthanIexpectedgreetedusaswewalkedoutside
andacrosstheyard.Withinafewmoments,Ishovedthesleevesofmysweater
up.“Ididn’texpectittobethisnicehere—weather-wise.”
“NexttoCarsodonia,we’reatthemostsouthernpartof
Solis.It’llgetcooleratnight,especiallyastheseasonturns,butthedays
willremainpleasant.”
“Justlikethecapital.”Itippedmyheadback,lettingthe
sunwashovermyfaceasIheardthesoundofdistantvoicesandlaughter
comingfromwhatIassumedwasbeyondthefortress.“Wereyouatthecapital
withCasteel?”
“Foratime,yes.Iwasn’texactlyafan,”hesaid,andI
glancedoverathimwitharaisedbrow.Heshruggedashoulder.“Toomany
Ascended.Toomanypeoplecrowdedtogether.”
“Andtherearen’ttoomanypeoplecrowdedinAtlantia?”I
askedaswewalkedpastacrumblingstonewall.TheblackwatersofStygianBay
glitteredlikepoolsofobsidian,stillandvast.ItwentonasfarasIcould
see,disappearingintothehorizon.
“Notyet,butifwecontinuegrowing,ourcitieswillbeas
crowded.”
Reachingthetopofaslighthill,Iturned,unabletosee
anythingbeyondthefortresswalls.“ButyouhaveSpessa’sEnd.”
Kierannodded,andIstillcouldn’tbelievethattherewas
anythinghere.Istarteddownthehill,andthegrassgavewaytosand.Therewas
nodampscentaswedrewclosetothebrokenpiersthatjuttedupfromthe
waterlikedecayedfingers.Theairsmelledoflavender,exceptIsawnoneof
thepurple-tippedplants.Istaredatthelifeless,midnightwaters,wondering
whenorifthegodthatslumberedwithintheBaywouldwake.Ifso,whatwould
theGodofCommonMenandEndingsthinkoftheworldhe’dleftbehind,ofwhat
wasbeingdonetothemortalshecaredforindeath?
Lookingdown,asuddenurgesweptthroughme.“Ithasbeen
yearssinceIfeltsandundermyfeet.”
“Nowisabettertimethananytofeelitagain,Isuppose.”
Hisdryresponsedidn’tdetermeasIyankedoffmyboots
andsocks.AgrintuggedatmylipsasIwiggledmytoesinthewarm,coarse
sand.
Kieransnorted.“Malikusedthedothesameassoonashereached
thesand.Tearoffhisshoessohecouldfeelitagainsthisfeet.”
AheavinesssettledovermeasIwalkedtowardtheBay,
leavingmyshoesandsocksbehindinapile.“WhatwasMaliklike?Imean,what
ishelike?”
Kieranfollowedafewstepsbehindme,silentforalong
moment.“Hewaskindandgenerousbutalsoawickedprankster.Casteelwas
alwaysthefarmoreseriousone.”Hejoinedme.“Hewasthebrotheryouwould’ve
thoughtwasbeinggroomedfrombirthtobeKing.”
Casteel,theseriousone?Thatsurprisedmemorethanthe
factthatagodsleptintheBay.
Mythoughtsmust’vebeenvisibleonmyfacebecausehesaid,
“ThewayCasteeliswithyou—theteasingandtryingtogetariseoutof
you—isn’thowheiswithmost.”
“So,it’sanact?”
“No,Casteelisjustmore…alivewhenhe’swithyou,”he
said,andI—
Ithoughtmyjawmighthitthesand.
“AndMalikwasthelife
andsoulofthefamily,”Kierancontinued.Ipickedmymouthupofftheground.
“Andthepasttenseiscorrect.Evenifhelives,hewillnotbewhoheusedto
be.”
“Buthe’llhavehis
familytohelphimremember—hisparents,Casteel,you,”Ireasoned.“Allofyou
canhelphimrememberwhoheoncewas.”
Kierandidn’trespond.
Ilookedathim.“Doyou…doyouthinkhestilllives?”
“Hehasto.Evenifthevampryshavebeencapturing
Atlantiansalltheseyears,full-bloodedorhalf,theywouldnotallowthe
Princetodie.Withhim,ittakeslessbloodtocompletetheAscension.He’s
toomuchofaprizetoletwitheranddie.”
Stomachchurning,Ibrieflyclosedmyeyes.Whilealarge
partofmehopedhestilllived,asmallpartalmostwishedhedidn’t.Whatever
existencehehadundertheAscended’scontrolwasnolife
Thequestionthatwasalreadyansweredsurfacedagain.How
couldtheAscendedbeallowedtocontinue?
Theycouldn’tbe.
IfCasteelandIweresuccessful,thenwouldIseriouslybe
contentspendingtherestofmylifesafelyhiddenawaywhiletheAscended
continuedrulingthepeopleofSoliswithfear?Stealingtheirchildrenandwho
knewhowmanyotherpeople?IftheQueenandKinglivedordied,wouldn’ttheother
AscendedsimplyfindanotherAtlantiantocontinuemakingmoreAscended,even
ifitwereforbidden?
Casteelwantedtoavoidwar,buthowcouldanyonebesure
thattheRoyalswouldchange?Thattheywouldn’tseektogobacktotheway
thingswere?
Kieranshiftedslightly,lookingoverhisshoulder.I
followedhisgaze,squinting.Threeorfourpeoplewalkedpastthecrumbling
walls,theirclothingavibrantarrayofgoldsandblues.
“Whoarethey?”
“Notentirelysurewhotheyare,”Kierananswered,turning
backaround.“ButmostofthepeoplehereareolderDescentersandAtlantians
andwolven.”
IwatchedthemuntilIcouldnolongerseethem,mystomach
twistingintotinyknots.Howwouldtheyrespondtome?Friendlyandoutgoing
likeElijahandAlastir,orwouldtheybeliketherest?
“CasteelandIcamehereoncewhenwewereyounger,before
thetownwasrazed,”Kieransaid,catchingmyattention.“Itwasoneofthe
firsttimeswe’dleftAtlantia.Malikwaswithus,andthepeoplewholived
here,thosewhowerehalf-Atlantianorsupportersknewwhowewereandbehaved
asifRhainhimselfhadrisenfromtheBay.”
NotonebuttwoPrincesintheirmidstmusthavestirredup
someexcitement.
“AlotofpeoplecrowdedtheedgesoftheBay.”Hesquinted
asifheweretryingtoseewhathadoncebeenhere.“Asmallgirlslippedon
theembankmentandfellintothewater.Therewaspanicandhelplessnessaseveryone
stoodattheedge.”
Isatdown,severalfeetfromthewater’sedge.“Noone
jumpedinafterher?”
Heshookhishead.“Nomortalentersthesewatersand
returns.ThepeoplebelievedthatRhain’ssentrieswouldcaptureanyonewho
dared,grabbingtheiranklesandpullingthemdownbelow.”Onesideofhislips
quirkedupinawrygrinasheloweredhimselftothespotbesideme.“ButCas
jumpedin.Didn’teventhinktwiceaboutit.Justdoverightin,eventhough
thegirlhadslippedunderandhadn’tresurfaced.”
IturnedbacktotheBay.“Didhefindher?”
“Hedid.Pulledherbacktothewater’sedgewhereMalik
and—”Hedrewinadeepbreath,stretchingoutaleg.“Oneofourfriendswasable
toforcethewaterfromherlungs.Thegirlbreathed.Shelived.Andthosewho
wereunawareofwhatMalikandCaswere,trulybelievedtheyweregods.”
Iwashappytohearthatthegirlhadlived,andIhoped
thatwhathappenedtothistowncamelongafterhertime.Butmybraingotstuck
onsomething.Kieranhadalmostsaidanameforthisfriend,andIhad
agoodideawhoitwas.
“WasitSheawhocameherewithyouall?”
“What?”Kieran’sheadsnappedinmydirection.“Howdoyou
knowhername?”Hiseyesnarrowed,andbeforeIcouldrespond,hemuttered,
“Alastir.”
Inodded.“Alastirtoldmeabouther.ThatCasteelwasonce
engagedtohisdaughter.”
Hisfeaturessharpened.“Alastirshouldn’thavesaid
anything.”
“Why?Thatwashisdaughter,”Iargued.“Helosther,too,
andbeforeyougetmadathim,heeventoldmeheprobablyshouldn’thave
broughtherup.Ihaven’tsaidanythingtoCasteel.”Well,thatwaskindof
true.
“But,ofcourse,youhavequestions.”
“Ido,”Iadmitted.
KieranslowlyshookhisheadashestaredoutovertheBay.
“You’renotaskingformyadvice,butI’mgoingtogiveittoyou,nonetheless.
Thistime,Itrulyhopeyoulisten.”Hisicyblueeyesmetmine.“Don’tbringup
SheawithCas.Thatisaroadyoudon’twanttotravelwithhim.Ever.”
Mybrowslifted.“Butshe’sapartofhimand—”
“Andwhydoesthatmattertoyou?”hechallenged.“This
marriagewillonlybetemporary,correct?Whydoyouneedtoknowaboutthose
whoshapedwhoheistoday?Thatkindofknowledgeisforthosewhoplanona
future.”
Isnappedmymouthshutasfrustrationboiledinsideme.
Kieranwasright,but…
Sighing,Ilookedovermyshoulder,abletoseetheupperwalls
ofthefortress.HadCasteelcooleddown?“Areyousurehe’llbeokay?”
Kieran’sheadinclinedashestudiedme.“Doyouwantan
honestansweroronethatwillmakethiseasierforyou?”
“Yousaidearlierthathe’dbeokay,”Ipointedoutasdread
blossomedtolife.
“Hewillbe.”Hepaused.“Fornow.”
“Whatisthatsupposedtomean?”
“Itmeansthathe’llbeokayforalittlelonger,buthe
needstofeed.He’sgonetoolong.”
Dreadpumpedthroughme,aliveandwell.“Whenwasthelast
timehefed?”
“I’mnotsure,butithadtobewhenwewereinMasadonia.”
Hedraggedahandoverhisheadandthendroppedit,glancingbacktothe
water.“Normally,he’dbeabletogoforweekswithoutfeeding,buthe’sgiven
youbloodtwice,andthenhewaswounded.Thatmovedhimclosertotheedge.”
“Hedidn’tneedtogivemehisbloodlasttime.”
Hisgazeswiveledbacktomine.“Iknow.Itoldhimnotto,
buthediditanyway.Hedidn’twanttoseeyouinpain.”
Isuckedinashortbreath.“Andnowhe’sinpainbecauseof
that.Becauseofme?”
“It’snotbecauseofyou,Penellaphe.Itwashischoice.
Justasithasbeenhischoicenottofeed.”
“Istilldon’tgetthat.”Frustrated,Ipickedupafistful
ofsand.“Whywouldhedothistohimself?Ifelthishunger,Kieran.Itwas
intense,andthelongerhegoes,itwillonlygetworse—”
“Andyouwillbemoreatrisk.”
Istilled,eventhoughmyheartthundered.“Ithoughthewas
theonlypersonIwassafewith.Isn’tthatwhatyousaid?”
“Youare,butwhenanAtlantiandoesn’tfeed,nooneis
safe.Noteventhosetheycareaboutorevenlove.”
Airleftmeinasingularrush.Love?“Hedoesn’tcarefor
me.”
Kieranstaredbackatme.“Ifithelpsyoutobelievethat,
thenbyallmeans,continue.Butthatdoesn’tmakeittrue.”
Iglaredathim.“Andjustbecauseyouspoutvague
statementsdoesn’tmakewhateveryou’resayingtrueeither.”
“Hegaveyouhisbloodwhenyoudidn’tneedit,justsoyou
wouldn’tbeinpainwhenyouwoke—”
“AndsoIdidn’tdelayinleavingNewHaven!”
“Funnyhowweweren’tplanningtoleavethemomentyouwoke
anyway,”hereplied.“Whichyou’reconvenientlyforgetting.”
Iclampedmymouthshut.
“Evenifthatwerethecase,whichitisn’t,ifhedidn’t
care,hewouldn’thavebeenconcernedoveryoubeinguncomfortableduringour
travels,wouldhe?Andifhedidn’tcare,hewould’veusedahundreddifferent
compulsionsatthispoint,nomatterhowtemporary,tokeepyoubetter
controlled,somethingthatwouldmakeallourliveseasier.”
Myeyesnarrowed.
“Hewouldn’tbemarryingyou,riskingtheireofnotjust
hisentirekingdombutalsohisparents,whoyouwillsoondiscoverarenottwopeopleyouwanttoangerjustsoyouhaveachancetomakeitthroughthis
alive,freefromtheAscendedandfromhim.Ifthatiswhatyouchoose,”he
wenton.“Butmoreimportantly,hewould’vestucktotheplanhespentyears
cultivating,andwewould’vealreadybeenhalfwaytoCarsodoniatoexchangeyou
forhisbrother.Yet,hereweare.Andtheonlyreasonwhyanyofthatchanged
isbecauseoncehegottoknowyou,hestartedtocareforyou.”
IwantedKierantotakebackthosewordsbecausetheydid
thingstomyheart,andevenworse,dangerousthingstomymind.
“You’reannoying,”Imuttered.
“Thetruthoftenis.Butyouwanttoknowanevenmore
annoyingtruth?”
“Notreally.”
“Toobad,becauseyouneedtohearthis.Hecaresforjustlike
youcareforhimdespitetheliesandthebetrayal,”Kieranstated.
“That’swhy,evenwhenyouweretheMaiden,yousharedyoursecretswithhim
andallowedhimthingsyouwould’veneverpermittedanyoneelse.That’swhyyou
didn’tusethatdaggerstrappedtoyourthighthismorning,eventhoughyou
knewhowtouseitagainstanAtlantian.That’swhyyouwanttoknowmoreabout
Shea.It’swhy,evennow,youareconcernedabouthim.”Hiseyesflashedan
intenseblue.“Andjustsoyouknow,theonlyreasonIdidn’tendyourlifethe
secondIlearnedthatyoustabbedhimintheheartisbecausehecaresforyou.
Isthatlessvagueenoughforyou,Penellaphe?”
Mylipspartedonashakyinhale.Ididn’twanttohearwhat
hesaid.Ididn’twanttorecognizethetruthofhiswords.Acknowledgingthem
was…itfeltirrevocable.
BecausecaringforCasteelmeantmorethanjustwantinghim.
Itmeanteitherforgivingorforgettinghisliesandbetrayals,andIdidn’t
knowifthatwasrightorwrong.Becausehimcaringformemeantmorethanjust
anagreementorpretending,andtheimplicationsofallofthatwas…well,it
wasterrifyingforamultitudeofreasons.Kierancouldbewrong.Casteelcould
careforme,butnotdeeply.WhileIwould…oh,gods,Ialreadyknewwhatit
meantformetocareforhim—whatIdesperatelywishedwasn’tthecase.
ThatI’dstartedfallinginlovewithhimwhenwefirstmet
andhadn’tstopped.
Butbeyondthat,IwastheMaiden—apersonhispeople,his
family,wouldmostlikelyloathe.Iwasonlyhalf-Atlantian.Iwouldageanddie,
andhewouldbewhohewastodayforsomanyyears,itwouldfeellikean
eternitytome.
Istaredatthesand,feelingmoreoutofmyelementnow
thanIhadsincethiswholethingstarted.“ThenightbeforeIlearnedwhohe
reallywas,IhadalreadydecidedthatIcouldnolongerbetheMaiden.It
wasn’tjustbecauseofhim.MaybehowIfeltabouthimwasthestartofme
realizingthatIcouldneverliveintheskinoftheMaiden,butIwantedto
staywithhim,”Iadmitted,myvoicehoarseandbarelyaboveawhisper.“Even
thoughIthoughthewasaRoyalGuardandwouldhavetobasicallygointo
hidingwithme,Iwantedtobewithhim—tostaywithhimsomehow.Becausehemade
mefeel….HemademefeellikeIwasalive.”Iswallowedhard.“Idid
careforhim.Icaredforhimalot.”
“HewasCasteelthenjustlikehe’sHawkenow,”Kieran
statedquietly,drawingmygazetohim.“Andyouknowthat.Youjustaren’t
readytoacceptit.”
Ibrieflysqueezedmyeyesshut.Still,caringforhimcould
causeachainofreactionsIwouldn’tbeabletoprevent.Caringforhimfelt
likeIwasbetrayingnotjustVikterandRylanandallofthosewho’ddiedbecause
ofhim,butalsomyself.ThatIforgavehisliesandhismisdeeds.Stillcaring
meant…
“Stillcaringforhimwouldonlyleadtoheartache,”I
whispered,knowingthetruthrightthenandthere.Ididcare.Ineverstopped
caring.AndacknowledgingthatfeltasifI’dslippedundertheblackwater.
“Itdoesn’thaveto,”Kieransaid.“Butevenso,sometimes,
theheartbreakthatcomeswithlovingsomeoneisworthit,eveniflovingthat
personmeanseventuallysayinggoodbyetothem.”
Theroughnessinhistonespokemorethanhiswordsshared.
“Yousoundlikeyouhaveexperiencewiththat.”
“Ido.”Alongmomentofsilencepassedbetweenus.“Doyou
knowwhathappenswhenanAtlantiancaresforsomeone?”
Ishookmyhead,wantingtoknowmoreaboutthispersonthat
he’dlovedbuthadtosaygoodbyeto.
Kierandidn’tgivemeachance.“Theyfindtheideaoffeeding
fromsomeoneelserepellent.It’stoointimateforthemtoevenconsider.And
ifthepartnerismortal?Itusuallytakesthemortalprovingtotheotherthat
it’sokayforthemtofeed,andinsomecases,theAtlantianislosttothe
darknessofhunger.That’swhyhehasn’tfed.”
MyheartthuddedagainstmyribsasItoldmyselfthat
couldn’tbethecasewithCasteel.Itjustcouldn’t.
Kieranwasquietonlyforafewminutes.“Castoldmeonce
thathefeltasifhealreadyknewyouafterspeakingwithyoujustafew
times.”
Iwiggledmytoesinthesandoncemore.“Iaskedhimabout
that.”
“Thisismysurprisedface,”Kieranmurmured,andwhenIlooked
athim,hisexpressionwasthesameasalways.Boredwithahintofamusement.
Mylipstwitcheddespitetheinsanityofourconversationas
Iturnedbacktothesparkling,sun-drenchedmidnightwater.“Hetoldmehe
believeditwastheAtlantianbloodinhim,recognizingmine.”
“Andyoufeltthesame?”
Inodded.“Isthatapossibility?”
“Possibly,”hesaidafteramoment.“ButIdon’tthink
that’sthecase.Ithinkit’ssomethingdeeperthanthat.Somethingintangible,
farrarerandstrongerthanbloodlinesandeventhegods.Somethingpowerful
enoughthatithasusheredingreatchangeinthepast.”
Tensing,IhadafeelingIdidn’twanttoknowwhathe
thought.Thatwhateveritwaswouldbeevenmoreearth-shatteringthanwhathe’d
alreadyshared.It’dbewordsgivenlifethatIwouldn’tbeabletocontrol.
“Ithinkyou’reheartmates.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter24
Heartmates.
Kierandidn’telaborateonwhatthatmeant,andIdidn’task
formoreinformation.I’dneverheardofsuchathing,andIdidn’twantto.
ProcessingtheideaofCasteelcaringaboutmewas
complicatedenoughwithoutaddingyetanotherintangibleelementtoit.
ButwhatKieranhadsaid—allofit—lingeredthroughoutbreakfast,
robbingthefoodofalltasteasmygazekeptroamingbacktowardthewhitebanners
hangingonthewallsofthedininghall,spacedsixfeetapart.Inthecenter
ofeachofthemwasanemblemembossedingold,shapedlikethesunandits
rays.Andatthecenterofthesunwasaswordlyingdiagonallyatopanarrow.
IknewIwasstaringattheAtlantianCrest.
Weateatanarrowtableinadiningroomthat’donceserved
thepeopleofSpessa’sEndbutnowwasemptyexceptforQuentyn,whohadbrought
theeggs,crispybacon,andbiscuitsouttouswhenwearrived.Hechattedwith
Kieran,hisenergyfromthenightbeforeseemingjustashigh.Itriedtofocus
ontheconversation,awareofhowdifferentthiswasfromthelasttimeKieran
andIhadsharedfood.Quentyndidn’tignoremeortreatmewithbarely
containeddislike.IfheknewIhadoncebeentheMaiden,hedidn’tcare.And
thatwas,well…itwould’vebeensomethingtorevelinifIdidn’tkeeplooking
aroundtoseeifCasteelappeared,orifmymindwasn’tsowrappedupinwhat
Kieranhadsaid.
Icouldn’tfocusonthefactthatCasteelmaycareforme.I
couldn’tevendwellontherevelationthatI’dmovedpastthestageofcaring
forhimquitesometimeago.Therewasnoamountoftimeorspaceformeto
evencometotermswithanyofthatandwhatitmeant.
WhatIturnedoverandoverinmymindwastherealitythat
Casteelneededtofeed,andifwhatKieranhadsaidwastrue,Ineededto
convincehimtodosofromsomeoneelseor…Ineededtofeedhim.
Buttherereallywasn’tanoptionbetweenthetwo.Nailland
DelanoknewIwashalf-Atlantian,andiftheothers,whoeverelsewashere,
didn’tknow,theywouldlearnsoonenough.Casteelfeedingfromsomeoneelse
wouldn’texactlyconvinceanyoneofourintenttomarry,wouldit?
Itwouldhavetobeme.
Mystomachdippedasthebiteofbaconscratcheditsway
downmythroat.WouldIbeokaywiththat?Ithoughtofwhatithadbeenlike
whenhe’dbittenmebefore,andIpickeduptheglassofwater,nearlydowning
theentiretyofit.Itwouldn’texactlybeahardship.Itwouldbe…
Gods,itwouldbeintense.
NothinglikewhenLordChaneyhadbittenme.Nothinglikea
Craven’sbite.
“TheonethingI’mnotlookingforwardtoistravelingback
throughthemountains,”Quentynsaid,drawingmeoutofmythoughts.I’d
discoveredwhenIfirstsawhiminthebrightlamplightthathewasfair-haired,
notblond-whitelikeDelano,butmore…golden.Hewasyoung,slimasareedand
alreadytallerthanme.Therewasadelicacytohisfeatures,onethatdrewthe
eyeandheldit,andIimaginedthebeautyinthelinesofhisfacewouldonly
increaseashegotolder.Hiseyeswereavibrantshadeofamber,justlike
Casteel’s,butcurvedupwardattheoutercornersinawaythatmadehiseyes
seemlikehewasalwayssmiling.
“Yeah,I’mnotlookingforwardtothatpartofthetrip
either,”Kieranagreed.
“AreyoutalkingabouttheSkotosMountains?”Iasked,
glancingtowardthedoorsforwhatprobablyhadtobethehundredthtimesince
KieranandIhadsatdown.
Quentynnoddedashelookedoveratme.Whenhefirstsaw
me,hisgazehadsnaggedontheleftsideofmyface,butthatwasall.He
hadn’tcontinuedtostare.Hehadn’tquicklylookedawayinembarrassment,
either.Hesawthemandseemedtomoveonfromthem,andIappreciatedthat.
“Themist,man.Themist.Duringtheday,itthinsoutabit,butat
night?Youcanbarelyseeafewfeetinfrontofyou.”
IrememberedwhatKieranhadsaidaboutthelongmountain
range.“Andthat’s…Atlantianmagic?”
“Yes.It’sdesignedtowardofftravelers,makingthemthink
thereareCraveninthemountains,buttherearenone,”Kieransaid,eyeingmy
plate.“Yougoingtoeattherestofthatbacon?”
“No.”Inudgedmyplatetowardhim.“HowdoesAtlantian
magicwork?”
“That’sacomplicatedquestionwithanevenmoreconvoluted
answer.”Kieranpickedupasliceofbaconfrommyplate.“AndIknowyou’re
gearingupforahundredmorequestions.”
Itotallywas.
“Buttheeasiestansweristhatthemagicistiedtothe
gods,”hesaid.
Well,thatonlycausedmetohavemorequestionsandmademe
thinkoftheBloodForesttree,theomen,thathadappearedoutofthinairin
NewHaven.
“Andbesides,themistisn’tjustamist,”Kieranadded
betweenmouthfulsofbacon.“Isit,Quentyn?”
“No.”Theyoungman’seyeswidened.“It’smorelikean…alarm
system.”
“Itrespondstotravelers,evenAtlantians,andthewayit
respondsisdifferentforeveryone.Largergroupsseemtotriggerit.”
Quentyn’sfingerstappednonstoponthetable.“That’swhywesplitupintogroups
nolargerthanthree.”
Allofthatsounded…concerning.“Andtravelingthroughthe
mountainsistheonlyway?”
“Itis,butdon’tworrytoomuch.”Quentynsmiled.“We
didn’thavetoomuchofaproblemwhenwecamethroughitbefore.”
Toomuchofaproblem?
“Whichremindsme,Icanmakesomeextrabaconforwhenwe
leave.”Hepoppedupfromthechair.“Ifyoulike?”
Kieranpausedwiththesecondslicehalfwaytohismouth.
“Whenitcomestobacon,theanswerisalwaysyes.”
TheyoungAtlantianlaughedasheglancedoverhisshoulder.
Thedooropened,andmyheartlauncheditselfintomythroatasmygazecrawled
overthefacesofthemenandwomenwhoentered.MyshouldersloweredasI
recognizednoneofthefaces.Therewasahalf-dozen.
“Youguyshungry?”Quentyncalledoutandwasgreetedwith
severalenthusiasticreplies.Turningaround,heshruggedashesaid,“Ilike
tocook.”
Andthen,withanodatbothofus,heracedofftothe
kitchenarea.
Iwatchedthegroupofnewcomerssplitintotwo,seating
themselvesattheroundtablesnearthedoor.Allofthemnoddedinacknowledgment,
butnoneapproached.Awomanwithdarkhairglancedoverhershoulder.Shehad
goldeneyes.AnAtlantian.Asdidthemanwhostaredfromwherehesatacross
fromher.
Ignoringthenervousflutteringinmystomach,Ioffereda
smile.
Thewomanturnedbackaround,andthemanfacedanother
besidehim.
Sighing,IturnedtoKieran.“Whendoyouthinkwewill
leave?”
“IfElijahwasabletogetthefirstgroupoutadayafter
weleft,they’llprobablybeatleasttwodays.Sincethegroupwouldbe
larger,theywon’tbetravelingasfastaswedid.”Hewipedthesheenof
greasefromhisfingersonanapkin.“Butwe’relessthanahalf-day’sridefrom
themountains,soweshouldreachthembytomorrowafternoon,whichwillallow
ustocrosshalfwaybeforenightfall.Andthenwe’llbeinAtlantia.”
Myheartskippedabeat.Ihadn’trealizedthatwewerenow
soclosetowhatwasbasicallyanunofficialboundaryline.“Justlikethat?”
Hesmiledslightlyasoneoftheyoungermenwithlight
brownhairbenthisheadtothewoman,whispering.“Justlikethat.”
Leaningbackinmychair,Ipeekedoveratthepeople.Their
posturesseemedawfullystiff.Ibitdownontheinsideofmylipandopenedmy
senses,lettingthemstretchout.Themomenttheirbitterandsour-tasting
emotionscamebacktome,IimmediatelywishedIhadn’tletmygiftfree.
Distrustanddislikewereoftenhardtoseparate,butinsomecases,theywere
joined.Likenow.
TheyhadtoknowwhoIwas.Itwastheonlyreasonthey’d
feelthisway.
“You’vebeenquieterthanexpected,”Kierancommented.
Ishutdownmysenses,offeringashrug.“I’vebeen
thinking.”Whichwasn’texactlyalie.I’ddoneawholelotofthinkingduring
breakfast.
“Great.”
Ishothimanarchlook.“It’sreallyyourfault,bythe
way.”
“Probablyshould’vekeptmymouthshut.”
“Isortofwishedyouhad.”
“ButIdidn’t.”
“No,”Isighed,pickingatthenapkinonthetable.“Where
ishe?”
“Who?”
Myheadtippedtotheside.“Likeyoudon’tknow.”
“Iknowalotofhes.”
“Hesisn’taword,”Imuttered.“WhereisCasteel?Ishe…?”
“Ishewhat?”hequietlyaskedwhenIdidn’tcontinue.
“Whatifhe’snotokay?”Iglaredathim.“Ifhewascloser
totheedgethanyourealized,whatifhe’soutthere,feedingoff…randompeople.”
“Ihaven’tknownyouforlong.”Hegaveashakeofhishead,
andIthoughtmaybehewassearchingforpatience.“Butsometimes,thethings
yourmindconjuresworryme.”
“Ithinkit’savalidconcern,”Igrumbled.
“Iimaginehe’scooleddown,gottenhimselfready,andis
speakingwithpeople.”Kieranlookedatmefromthesideofhiseye.“Gladto
seethatyou’reacknowledgingthatyoucareforhimandarequestioninghis
wellbeing.”
IstartedtotellhimthatIwasn’t,butthatwouldhave
beenanobviouslie.Kieranknewit.Iknewit.AndIhatedeveryone,but
especiallyKieran.
Somethingoccurredtomeinthatmoment,andIgotupclose
andpersonalwithabjecthorror.IhadnoideawhatIwasgoingtosaytohim
aboutthismorning.Notaboutthewholefeedingthing.IknewwhatIneededto
dotomakesurehedidn’tgoallAscended-eyedonmeagain.Buttheotherthing?
CouldIjustpretendlikeitdidn’thappen?
Thatseemedlikeasuccessfulplan.
Shouldersslumping,Ichangedthesubject.“CanIaskyou
something?”
“IhaveafeelingifIsaidno,itwouldn’tstopyou.”
Hewasright.Itwouldn’t.Ikeptmyvoiceincrediblylow.
“CasteelsaidthatifIrefusedthemarriage,he’dletmego.Thathewouldtake
mesomewheresafe.Washetellingthetruth?”
Kieranlookedatme,browsraised.“So,you’rebasically
askingmetobetrayhim?”
“I’mnotasking—okay.Iam.”
“Hewasn’tlying,”Kieransaidafteramoment.“Ifyouhad
refused,hewould’veletyougo.ButIdoubtyouwould’vebeenfreeofhim.”
Thecornersofmylipsturneddown.“IfI’mnotfreeofhim,
howwouldhehaveletmego?”
Kieranliftedashoulderinashrug.“Thosetwothings
aren’tmutuallyexclusive.”
Myfrownincreased,butthenIshookmyheadasIlookedto
thedoor.Knowinghewasn’tlyingmeantsomething.Itmeantalotbecause
Casteelwoulddoanythingtogethisbrotherback.
Excepthewouldn’tforcemetomarryhimtoachievewhathe
wanted.Hewouldn’tusemeasransom,andforthefirsttimesinceallofthis
began,ItrulyrealizedhisplanstousemehadchangedlongbeforeIwaseven
aware—probablyevenbeforehewasawaretheyhad.Itwasn’tjusthis
claimorwhatKieransaid.ItwasallofthatandCasteel’sownactions.Ijust
didn’twanttoacceptit—toseeorunderstand.BecausewhileCasteelwasn’tamonster,
hewascapableofdoingmonstrousthingstogetwhathewanted.ButI
wasexempt.Hewasn’tthegoodguy—thesaviororthesaint.He’dkilledtofree
hisbrother.He’dusedcountlessothers—mortalsandAtlantiansalike—tofree
hissibling.Andhestillwould.Tohim,themeansjustifiedtheend.
ButCasteelhaddrawnalinethathewouldn’tcross.
Andthatlinewasme.
Trulyacknowledgingthatwasterrifying.Already,myheart
waspounding,andthatswellingsensationhadreturned,fillingmychest.And
thatscaredme.IgnoringanddenyingwhatIfeltforhimwaseasierwhenI
couldconvincemyselfthatIwasnothingmorethanapawn—anothermeanstojustify
theend.
Now,therewasnoignoringordenyinganything.
Ididn’tknowifthatmeantwhatKieranhadclaimed—that
CasteelandIwereheartmates,butitdidmeansomething.Whatthatchangedfor
me—forus—Ialsodidn’tknow.
Itookabreath.Itwentnowhere,anditfeltlikethefloor
wasmoving—thewholeworldwasshiftingunderme,eventhoughIwassitting.
“I’mgoingtodoit.”
“I’mhalf-afraidtoaskwhatitisyou’regoingtodo.”
Foldingmyarmsacrossmychest,Irolledmyeyes.“I’mgoing
tooffermyselfup…fordinnerbasically.ToCasteel,”Itackedon.
“Asdinner?”
“Basically.”IpeekedatKieran,andIcouldtellhewas
tryingnottolaugh.
“Onlyapartofmeissurprised,butI’mrelieved.”Andit
didseemlikehisshoulderslookedlesshunched.“Heneedsyou.”
I’djustreturnedtotheroomsCasteelandIhadbeengiven,
hopinghe’dreturned,whenAlastirknockedonthemaindoor.
Lettinghiminside,Itoldmyselfnottostressover
Casteel’scontinuedabsence.Hehadtobeokay…ish,anditwasstill
prettyearlyinthemorning.
Alastirwasdressedinanoutfitfarmoresuitedforthe
temperateweather,wearingonlyawhitebutton-downshirtandbreeches.Iwas
half-temptedtocutthesleevesoffthesweater,eventhoughitremainedcool
intherooms.
“Iwon’ttakeuptoomuchofyourtime,”hesaid,sittingon
theedgeofthesetteeashebrushedbackalockofhairfromhisface.“Ijust
wantedtocheckinonyouafterhearingthatyouhadafarmoreeventfultrip
herethanI.”
Isatacrossfromhiminoneofthethicklycushioned
armchairs.“MostofitwasratheruneventfulupuntilIlearnedoftheDead
BonesClanwithfirsthandexperience.”
“Icouldn’tbelievewhenCasteeltoldmetheyhadattacked
yourgroup,”heresponded,andthemeasureofreliefthatcamewiththatwas
ridiculous.HehadtohavespokenwithAlastirthismorning.“Tobehonest,I
figuredtheyweremostlygonebynow.”
“Well,theyaredefinitelyafewmembersshortnow.”The
imageofCasteeltossingthemenfromthetreesfilledmymind.“Istillcan’t
believetheAscendedhaveeitherallowedthemtoliveoutthereordon’tknow
aboutthem.”Iglancedaround,shakingmyhead.“Partofmecan’tevenbelieve
theydon’tknowaboutthis.IwasshockedwhenIsawit.”
“Solisisapowerfulkingdom,buttheyarealsoanarrogant
one.Idon’tbelievetheyevenconsideredoncethatAtlantiamightquietlytake
backsomeoftheirlands.”
“Casteelhadoncesaidsomethingsimilar—abouttheir
arrogance.”
Henodded.“DidCasteelnottellyouaboutSpessa’sEnd?How
hehopestoeventuallymovehundredshere?”
Inibbledonmylip,unsureifIshouldlieornot,butI
decidedthatdoingsowouldbesilly.ItwasclearIhadnoidea.“Hehadn’t
yet.”
Aslightfrownpulledathislips.“Ihonestlyexpectedhe
would.ReclaimingSpessa’sEndisincrediblyimportanttohimandthekingdom.
And,itwasentirelyhisidea.Somethingheconvincedhisfatherandmother
of.”
Irritationreareditsheadagain,butsodidsomethingheavier.
Embarrassedbecausethisseemedlikesomethingafiancéeshouldknowabout,I
shifteduncomfortablyinmychair.“I’msureheplannedtotellme,butwith
everythinggoingon…”
Alastirnodded,butIcouldseetheskepticisminhisgaze.
“I’msurehewould’ve,andthatitwasasimpleoversight.Notanissueof
trustorinattentiveness.”
Istiffened,havingnoteventhoughtofanissueoftrust,
but…butthatwouldmakesense,wouldn’tit?Whatwasbeingdoneherein
Spessa’sEndwouldbehighlycovetedinformationtotheAscended.Iftheyfound
out,itcouldmeanyetanotherraidonthetown,thedestructionofwhatthey
werebuildinghere—whateverthatwas.Iwasn’texactlysuresinceI’donly
caughtglimpsesofit.WasthatwhyCasteelhadn’tsharedanyinformationuntil
IwasfarenoughawayfromtheAscendedthatIwasnolongerarisktoSpessa’s
EndifIwerecapturedorifI…renegedonourdeal?DidhethinkIwouldever
saysomethingthatwouldputinnocentpeopleinharm’sway?
InnocentpeopleIhadassumedwereguiltynotallthatlong
ago.
Unsettledbymythoughts,IaskedAlastirabouthistrip.
Fromthere,hespokeoftheupcomingjourney.Irelaxedashetalked.Itwas
hisvoiceandhisraspylaugh,sofamiliarandsolikeVikter’s.Therewasa
calmingqualitytoit,andIwassogratefulforhisvisitthatwhenitbecame
clearthathewouldsoonbeleaving,Iwantedtofindanexcuseforhimto
stay.
“TherewasanotherreasonIwantedtospeakwithyou,”he
saidasheleanedin.“WhenIspokewithCasteelthismorning,he
appeared…well,asifhewerestrungtootight.ThenIlearnedthathe’dbeen
woundedwhenyourgroupwassetuponbytheDeadBonesClan.”
Keepingmyfaceblank,Inodded.“Hewaswounded.”
“Idon’tknowhowmuchyouknowaboutAtlantiansandtheir
needsorcustomsliketheJoining,orwhathappenswhentheychoosetobewith
someone,buthemayneedtofeed.Andwithyounotbeingaccustomedtothe
Atlantianways,Iwantedtomakesureyouknew,”hesaid,hisgentlesmilecreasing
theskinatthecornersofhiseyes.
Therewasasuddenknotinmythroat,andIalmostlaunched
myselfatthepoorman,butIsomehowmanagednottorepeatthatawkward
moment.“Iknowheneedstofeed.Hewill.”Ifeltmycheeksheat.“Butwhatis
theJoining?”
Alastir’seyeswidened.“Hedidn’ttellyou?”
Myshouldersstartedtoslump.“Shouldhehave?”
“Iwouldthinkso.”Hiseyesnarrowedslightly.“Itmaybe
expected,especiallysinceyou’renotafull-bloodedAtlantian,butit—well,it
wouldn’texactlybetheeasiestofconversationswithsomeonewhodidn’tgrow
upinAtlantia.”Hestartedtostand.“Andit’soneIwaseternallygratefulI
neverneededtoexplaintomydaughter.”
“Wait.”Iliftedahand.“Whatisit?”
“YoushouldaskCasteel.”
“Youshouldtellmesinceyoubroughtitup,”Ipointedout.
“Whatisthisthing?TheJoining?”
Alastirwasstillforamoment,andthenheclosedhiseyes.
“Thisisgoingtobeanincrediblyawkwardconversation.”
Istartedtogrin.“Now,I’mreallyinterested.”
“Andyouwilllikelychangeyourtunefairlyquickly.”Herubbed
hischin.“Gods,heprobablynevertoldyoubecauseofyourbackground.”
“Mybackground?”Mybrowsrose.“AstheMaiden?”
Henodded.“Inyourownwords,yousaidyouwerequitesheltered,
butevenifyouweren’t,whatyou’reabouttohearwouldhavecomeasashock.”
“Okay?”Curiosityburnedthroughme.
“TheJoiningisaveryoldtradition—onethatisn’toften
done.Andthankthegodsforthat.”Hisupperlipcurledindistaste.“It’squite
crass.”
NowwasprobablynotagoodtimetoadmitthatIwaseven
morecurious.
“Whenabondedelementaltakesonapartner,thebondcanbe
extendedtothatperson.Itrequiresanexchangeofbloodbetweenthethree—or
thefourifthepartnerisalsobonded.Andtheexchangeofblood…well,itis
quite…”Heclearedhisthroatashischeeksflushed.“Itcanbecomeveryintimate.
Inawaythatwouldmostlikelymakeyouveryuncomfortable.”
ThereweremanytimesinmylifethatIwasshockedby
something.Thelastseveralweekshadbeenonesurpriseafteranother,but
this…
EvenasshelteredasIwas,Ihadaprettygoodideaofwhat
AlastirwastryingtosaythankstoMissWillaColyns’diary.“Doyoumean
sex?”
Hisfacewasasredasminefelt.“Unfortunately.”
Istaredathim,mouthopen,butIhadabsolutelynowords.
“But,”hesaidquickly,“likeIsaid,itisaveryold
tradition,andwhilesomeofmyyoungerbrothersandsistersarefarmoreopen
tothearchaictraditions,it’snotoneoftenpracticedthesedaysfor…well,
forobviousreasons.”
“I…”Ifelthotandcoldatthesametime.“Butyousaid
thatitmaybeexpectedsinceI’mnotafull-bloodedAtlantian.Why?”
“Why?”Heblinkedatme,andthenhisexpressionsmoothed
out.“Penellaphe,mydear,haveyouandCasteelnotdiscussedthefuture?At
all?”
Thelookinhisexpressioncausedacidtopoolinmy
stomach.Itwasoneofparentalpatience,thekindwhenachildwasinoverhis
orherheadandneededanadulttorescuethem.
“Youwillage,andwhileCasteelwillalso,hewilldosoin
awaythat,ineightyyears,hewilllookthesameand—”
“AndIwillbeoldandgrayifIevensurvivethatlong,”I
cutin,andthenliedthroughmyteeth.“We’vetalkedaboutthat.”
Hisgazesearchedmine.“TheJoiningwouldnotonlyensure
thatthewolvenwouldbeduty-boundtoprotectyourlife,butthebondwould
tieyourlifetotheelementalandthewolven.Youwouldliveaslongasthe
wolvendid,howeverlongthatmaybe.”
Yetagain,Iwasutterlyspeechless.Somanythingsraced
throughmymind,butwhatcametotheforefrontwasthefactthatIknewwhy
Casteelhadnevermentionedthis.Tensioncreptintomymuscles,andthe
heavinessinmychestfeltsuffocating.Therewasnoneedforthis…thisthing
totakeplace.NomatterwhatKieranthought,Casteeldidn’tplanforustoremain
married.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter25
Therealizationhadafarmorechillingeffectthanit
should,anditwasallKieran’sstupidheartmatesconversation’sfault.
Andcometothinkofit,whyinthehellhadn’tKieran
broughtthisup?
ThenIthoughtofhavingthisconversationwithKieran,and
Iwantedtotakeawirebrushtomybrain.AshandsomeasIbelievedKieranto
be,Ijust…Icouldn’tevenbegintoimaginedoingsomethinglikethatwithhim.
WithhimandCasteel.
Ilookedaroundforaglassofwater,buttherewasnone.
“Youdon’tneedtoworryaboutthis.Idon’tthinkhe’d
expectsomethinglikethat.Casteelisnotabouttheoldtraditions,”Alastir
said.
“Butwouldthewolvenexpectthat?”Iasked,andthenthe
worstthingeverspewedfrommymouth.“WouldSheahavedoneit?”
Alastir’seyeswidened.
IimmediatelywishedIhadn’tsaidanything.“I’msorry.I
imagineasawolven,shewouldn’thavebeenexpectedto.AndIshouldn’thave
broughtherup—”
“No.No,it’sokay.”Alastirstretchedforward,placinghis
handonmine.“Don’tapologize.I’mactuallygladyou’rewillingtospeakof
her.”Hesmiledagain,squeezingmyhandbeforeleaningback.“Althoughshewas
awolven,itisatraditionthatsomewould’veexpectedtobehonored,and
Kieran’soathwouldhavealsoextendedtoher.Shewas…”Hepressedhislips
together,andalongmomentpassed.“Sheaneverbackeddownfromanything,no
matterifothersfounditdistastefulorcrude.Shewould’vedoneanythingfor
Casteel.”
AndwouldCasteelhavegonethroughwithit?
Gods,Ididn’tevenwanttothinkaboutthat.
IswallowedasIsankintothechair.Myheadstartedracing
again.
“I’vetakenupenoughofyourtime.”Alastironceagain
begantorise.
“Wait,”Inearlyyelledassomethingoccurredtome.“Ifthe
Joiningcanextendamortal’slife,thenwhydidn’tKingMalecdothatwith
Isbeth—hismistress?Insteadofmakingheravampry?Orwasn’thebonded?”
AlastirstaredatmeasifI’dsuggestedwhole-heartedly
embracingtheAscended’swayoflife.“KingMalechadabondedwolven.
Actually,hehadmorethanonesinceheoftenoutlivedthem.Butitwouldn’t
haveworkedonamortal.ThepartnerhastocarryAtlantianbloodinthem,and
evenifthatwomanhadAtlantianbloodinher,itwould’vebeenagraveinsult
totheQueen.Onethatwentbeyondcarryingonaffairs.Anywolvenofworth
would’verefused.Thatmuch,Iknow.”Hisgazemetmineandheld.“Howolddo
youthinkIam?”
Hisquestionthrewme.“I…Idon’tknow.Farolderthanyou
look,Iimagine.”
“I’veseeneighthundredyears.”
Goodgods.
“AndthereasonIknowhisbondedwolvenwould’verefusedif
asked?”Alastirstated.“It’sbecauseIwashislast,anditwasIwhoalerted
theQueentowhatMalechaddone,shatteringanunbreakableoath.”
SometimeafterAlastirleft,thetubwasfilledwithwarm
water,courtesyofCasteel,accordingtothetwomortals—ayoungermanand
womanwithcuriouseyes.Theydidn’taskquestionsorlingerlongerthan
necessaryandletmeknowthatifIputmyclothingandthenightgowninthe
wickerbasketthey’dplacedoutsidethedoor,myclotheswouldbelaundered.
WhileI’dhopedtoseeCasteel,Iappreciatedthegesture,andIwasalso
relievedthathehadn’treturned.
Ineededtimetoprocess…everything
So,Imadeuseofthebath,washingmyhair,andthenI
slippedontherobe,tighteningitaroundmywaist.Thesunwasnowhigh,but
therewasachillintheroomthatwasn’tpresentoutside.Isatinfrontof
thefire,slowlyworkingthetanglesfreefrommyhairasmymindwanderedfrom
oneutterlyshockingtopictoanother.
AlastirhadbeenMalec’sbondedwolven?AndtheJoining?My
gods,wouldthepeopleofAtlantiaactuallyexpectthatofme—fromthethreeof
us?Theheatofembarrassmentalmostdrovemeawayfromthefire.Itwasn’t
thatIwasdisgustedorrepulsed.Whatpeopledecidedtodoandwithwhomor
howmanywastheirbusiness.AndthewayMissWillahadwrittenaboutsharing
herselfwithmorethanonepartnerwasneverdiscussedinawaythatmademe
uncomfortable.
Well,thatwasn’texactlytrue.
Mostly,Ididn’tunderstandhowallofitworked.Notthe
physicalaspect.She’dgoneintoquitealotofdetailregardingthat.Butmore
so,itallsoundedsoverycomplicated.Ijustcouldn’tevenwrapmyheadaround
somethinglikethatwheneverythingwithCasteelwasalreadysodamnconvoluted.
AndwhywasIevenconcerningmyselfwiththis?Obviously,
thiswasnotsomethingCasteelplanned.ButhadheplannedtodoitwithShea?
“Stopit,”Ihissed,forcingmythoughtselsewhere.
Unsurprisingly,theycamerightbacktohim
WhatwasaseriousCasteelevenlike?Wasthatanothermask
hewore?I’dseenglimpsesofthatversionofhimwheneverheassertedhis
authority,buthewassoquicktoteaseandmakelightwithme.
He’sjustmorealivewhenhe’swithyou.
Placingthebrushonthefloor,Iclosedmyeyesandthought
ofShea.Hadhebeenthatwaywithher?Idoubtedhe’ddonnedanymaskswith
her.Mostlikely,hehadbeenanentirelydifferentpersonthen.
What’dhappenedtoher?AllIknewwasthattheAscended
wereinvolvedinherfate.Howdidshedie?HowlongweresheandCasteel
together?Didshelovehim,too?
Ofcourse,shedid.
Evenwithlittletonoexperience,Iknewbetterthanto
traveldownthatroad.I’dseenhowCasteelreactedbefore,andwhileImight
nothaveeverbeeninarelationshiporloved,Iknewpeopleeitherwouldn’tor
couldn’ttalkaboutcertainthings.Thingsthatcouldonlybesharedwiththose
youloved,thoseyoutrulytrusted.
Ithinkyou’reheartmates.
TherewasasnaginmychestasIbitdownonmylowerlip.
AfterlearningabouttheJoining,IknewKieranwastotallyoff-baseonthe
wholeheartmatesthing,butIstillwantedtotravelthatroadwithCasteel.I
wantedtoknowaboutwhoheusedtobebeforehelostShea,losthisbrother.
AndIwantedtoknowallofthatbecauseI…Icaredabouthim.Because
I’dneverstoppedfalling.
Gods.
Iwasinsomuchtrouble.
AndtherewasahighlikelihoodthatAlastirhadrealizedwhat
Ihadwhenwespoke.ThatCasteelhadn’ttrustedmewiththeknowledgeof
Spessa’sEnd.Worseyet,therewasnowayhebelievedourengagementwasreal.
SittingwithmyheadtippedbackandeyesclosedwashowCasteel
foundmewhenhewalkedintotheroom.Impossibly,allthoughtsI’dbeenwrapped
upinvanished,replacedbywhatImadeupmymindtodo.
“Whatareyoudoing?”heasked,andIheardthedoorclosebehind
him.
“Brushingmyhair.”Straightening,Iopenedmyeyes,butI
didn’tturnaround.
“Wouldn’tyouneedthebrushinyourhandtodothat?”He
soundedcloser.
“Yes.”Ahundredsilverhawksflutteredinmychest.
Amomentlater,he
wassittingbesideme,onekneebentandtheothercurled,restingagainst
mine.Slowly,Ilookedoverathim.Themomentourgazesconnected,theair
whooshedoutofmylungs.Ididn’tknowifithadtodowithwhatKieranhadtold
meoreverythingelse.
“I’msorry,”hesaid.“I’msorryaboutthismorning—about
losingcontrollikethat.Itwillneverhappenagain.”
Myskinpimpled.Hisapologywasunexpected,butIwasn’t
sureifIwantedit.Whathappenedseemedmostlyoutofhiscontrol,andhis
apology…itmademerespecthim.Inodded.
“Iplannedontalkingtoyouearlierthanthis.Icameback
after…well,Icameback,andyouweregone.”
“IwaswithKieran,”Itoldhim.“WewentdowntotheBay
andthenhadbreakfast.”
Afaintsmileappeared.“Iheard.”
Mybrowslifted.“Youdid?”
Henodded.“Thepeopleheretoldme.”
Ididn’tpointouthowthepeopleherehadn’tspokentome
duringourbriefencounterbutfelttheneedtoreporttohimthattheyhad
seenme.
“IcamebacktoseeifyouhadreturnedassoonasIcould.”
“It’sokay.”Iswallowed.“Thankyouforthebath.”
“Ishouldbetheonethankingyou.”
“Forwhat?”
“Forknowinghowtoreachmethismorning,”hesaid,andheat
racedacrossmyface.
ItoyedwiththeendofthesashasIglancedathim.Words
roseanddiedonthetipofmytongue.Hestaredattheflames,thelinesof
hisfacenowherenearrelaxed.Somethingoccurredtomethen,inmydesperation
tonotthinkaboutthismorning.“Wheneveryouintroducemetopeople,whyare
yousoinsistentthatnoonereferstomeastheMaiden?”
“That’sanincrediblyrandomquestion.”
Itwas.“I’mbeginningtorealizeI’manincrediblyrandom
person.”
Thehalf-smilereturned.“Ilikeit.Forcesmetostayonmy
toeswhenI’maroundyou.Buttoansweryourquestion,thelesspeoplethinkof
youastheMaiden,themoretheywillthinkofyouasthehalf-Atlantianwho’s
capturedmyheart.”Therewasanoddhollownesstohiswords,andwhenhe
lookedatme,Inoticedfaintblueshadowsunderhiseyes.“Andthelesslikely
theywillbetowanttoharmyou.”
InoddedasIopenedmysensestohim.Theconnectionwas
shockinglyfast,andwithinaheartbeat,hishungerhitme—hishungerandhis
sadness,thelattermorebitterthannormal,andheavy—sodamnheavy.Hehadn’t
feltthatwayearlier.Wasitbecauseofwhat’dhappenedthismorningor
somethingelse?
“It’salsonotwhoyouareanymore,”headded,andIpulled
backmygift,realizingthatclosingitdownhadbeeneasiersinceCasteelhad
givenmehisbloodthesecondtime.“It’snotwhoyoueverwere.”
“No,it’snot.”
“Didyoueveracceptit?”Heplantedahandonthefloor
besidemeandleanedoveraninchortwo.“Wasthereeverapointwhereyou
wantedtobewhattheymadeyou?”
Ihadneverbeenaskedthatbefore,andittookmesometime
tofigureouthowtoanswer.“ThereweretimeswhenIwantedtomaketheQueen
happy—tomaketheTeermanspleasedwithme.So,Itriedtobegood—tobewhat
wasexpectedofme,butitwaslike…wearingamask.Itriedbutthemask
crackedquicklyenough.”
“Forcingawarriortodonaveilofsubmissionwasnever
goingtolast.”
Feelingmycheekswarm,Ilookedaway.“Idon’tknowabout
thewarriorpart—”
“Ido,”heinsisted.“Fromthemomentyoustayedinsteadof
walkingoutofthatroomattheRedPearl,Iknewyouhadawarrior’sstrength
andbravery.It’swhyyouwenttoRylan’sfuneral.It’swhatdroveyououttothe
RisewhentheCravenattackedandfoughtback—foughtme.It’swhyyoudidn’t
bowunderAlastir’sremarkswhenyoufirstmethimbutratherchallengedhis
beliefs.Hell,it’swhatdroveyoutolearnhowtofightinthefirstplace.”A
dimpleappearedinhisrightcheek.“It’syourbloodline—it’syou.”
Thewarmthinmychesthadlittletodowiththefire.“I’m
stillalittleannoyedthatI’mnotofthechangelinglineandIcan’tshift
forms.”
Casteellaughed,andthesoundwasasrealandsunnyasmychest
felt.Andwhenhisgazesnaggedonmine,Ifinallyfoundthecourageofthe
warriorheclaimedIwas.
Andstartedwithperhapsthemostembarrassingthingever.
“IspokewithAlastirearlier.”
“Hementionedthathewasgoingtovisitwithyou.”
“Hedid,andhe…hetoldmeabouttheJoining.”
Casteel’sheadswungtowardminesofast,Iwassurprisedhe
didn’tcrackhisneck.“Hedidwhat?”
“DoIreallyneedtorepeatthat?”
“Whatdidhetellyou?”
“Hetoldmewhatitis.”Ifocusedonmybrush.“Thatit’sa
bloodexchangethatoftenturnsintosomething,um,moreintimate.”
“Goodgods,hedidnot.”
“Hedid.”
“I…”Casteelsuddenlybrokeoutintodeep,thunderouslaughter.
Thekindthatwassoloudandhard,itsoundedlikeithurt.
Mywidegazeshottohim.
“I’msorry,”hegasped.“It’sjustthatIwould’vepaidgood
moneytoseehimtrytoexplainthattoyou.”
Inarrowedmyeyes.“Wouldyouhave?”
“Hell,yes,Iwould’ve.Oh,gods.”Draggingahandthrough
hishair,helookedoveratme.“Letmeguess?Hesaiditwascrudeanddisgusting?”
“Yeah.Prettymuch.”
“Gods,whatanoldalarmist.”Helaughedagain,shoulders
shaking.“IwishIcould’veseenyourface.”
“Well,sinceIlearnedaboutitfromhim,IwishedIcould’ve
punchedyouinyourface.”
“Ibetyoudid.”
“Idon’tknowwhatissofunny.Hesaidpeoplemightexpect
itfromus—especiallybecauseI’mnotfull-bloodedAtlantian!”
“Firstoff,”hesaid,strugglingforbreath,“Idon’tthink
anyoneisgoingtoexpectthat.”
Fromyouseemedtohangunsaidbetweenus.
“Andwhileitisanintimateritual,onethatisn’toften
doneanymore,itisnotalwayssexual.Forsome,I’msureitbecomesthatnaturally.
Andhey,toeachtheirown.They’reconsentingadults,andyoudoyou,you
know?I’mnotgoingtojudge.”
“I’mnotjudgingeither.”
Hecockedaneyebrow.“You’renot?”
“I’mnot,”Iinsisted.
“So,you’reinterestedthen?”hemurmured.
“ThatisnotwhereIwasgoingwiththat.”
“Uh-huh.”
Iignoredthewayhesaidthat.“Isittruethatamortal
withAtlantianbloodwouldbegivenalongerlifespan?”
Casteelnodded.
“Hasthatbeendonebefore?”
“Ihaven’tknownanybondedelementalswhohavetakena
mortalwithAtlantianblood,”heanswered.“AsfarasIknow,therehasn’t
been.Andit’salottoaskofawolven.Thatkindofbloodbondgoesboth
ways.Ifthewolvendies,sodoestheother,andifthemortalwithAtlantian
blooddies,thewolvenwouldalso.”
“Oh.”Iblinkedslowly.“Alastirdidn’tmentionthat.”
“Wait.”Heswunghisheadtowardmine.“Doyouevenknow
whatcouldhappenduringthatritualthatwouldmakeitsoverycrude—”
“Iknowwhatcouldhappen,”Isnapped
“Isitbecauseofthatdiary?”
“Shutup.”
“DidyoubookmarkthechaptersdetailinghowWillaspent
afternoonsentertainingnotonebuttwosuitors,oneinfrontandtheother—?”
“Youseemtoknowalotaboutthatbook.”
“Ilovethatfuckingbook,”hesaid,andmyjawachedfrom
howhardIwasclenchingit.“So,you’reinterestedthen,Princess.Whatawild
sideyouhave.”
“ThatisnotwhatIsaid!”Mycheeksflushed.
“Iknow.”Hechuckled.“I’msorry.I’mbeinganass.”
“Atleastyourecognizeit.”
“Ijust…Iwasnotexpectingthis.Butyoudohaveavery…adventurous
personality.”
“Ihateyou,”Igrowled.
“Notthatadventurous,huh?”Casteellaughedagain.
“Look,Iknowyou’renotlookingforthismarriagetogobeyondthenecessary,”
hesaid,andthatstrange,stupidacheinmychestpulsed.“So,it’snoteven
somethingyouneedtoworryabout.ButtheJoiningismeanttostrengthenthebond
that’salreadythere,andensurethatthepartnerisalsoapartofthatbond.
It’snotdonelightly,andagain,itisnotalwaysasexualthing.Iknowit’s
beendonewhereeveryonekepttheirbodypartstothemselves.”
Mybrowslifted.“ThenwhydidAlastirmakeitsoundlikeit
wasa…”
“Adirtything?”Hegrinned.“Becausehe’soldand
overdramaticandthinkshe’sbeinghelpful.”
“Why—?”IcutmyselfoffbeforeIcouldaskwhyhe’d
neverbroughtitup.Ialreadyknewwhy.JustlikeIknewwhyhehadn’ttoldme
aboutSpessa’sEnd.
“What?”
Ishookmyhead,changingthesubject.“Alastirsaidhewas
Malec’sbondedwolven.”
“Thathewas.DidhetellyouhetoldmymotherthatMalec
hadAscendedIsbeth?”WhenInodded,Casteellethisheadfallback.“Alastir
brokehisoath,severinghisbond.Thathas…well,thathasrarelyhappened.
Alastircansometimessaytoomuch,buthe’sagoodman.”
Inoddedslowly,watchinghimasheclosedhiseyes.“Your
motherdidn’tleavehimthen?”
“No.”
“Didshestaywithhimbecauseshelovedhim?”
“Youknow,Ireallydon’tknow.Shedoesn’ttalkabouthim,
butyouhavetowondergivenshenamedherfirstsonanamesosimilar,”he
said.Iwonderedhowtheirfatherfeltaboutthat.“Whenmymotherconfronted
Malec,shedidsoprivately,butwhathe’ddonestillgotout.Andothers
followedsuit.Inaway,itallhappenedsoquickly.”
“Andhereweare,”Imurmured.
“Hereweare,”heconfirmed.
Drawinginadeepbreath,Isaidwhatneededtobesaid.“I
knowyouneedtofeed.Iknowyou’reclosetotheedge,andyouhaven’tfed
fromanyoneelse.”
“Someonehasbeentalking,”herepliedflatly.“AndIdoubt
itwasAlastir.”
“Someoneneededto.Whathappensifyoudon’tfeed,other
thantheblackeyes?Ifyoudotipovertheedge?”Iasked.“Youneverreallyexplained
beyonditbeingaverybadthing.”
Helookedaway,dragginghislipbetweenhisteeth.“It’s
likebeing…deadinside,worsethananAscended.Wefallintobloodlust,butit’s
aviolentmadness,likethatofaCraven.Butwedon’tdecayorrot.”Heshook
hishead.“Oncewetipovertheedge,wegrowstrongerwitheachfeeding,but
it’slikeadiseaseofthemindbecausewebecomenothingmorethanrabid
animals.Veryfewcomebackfromthat.”
IrememberedwhathesaidtheAscendeddidtohim—withheld
blooduntilhewasravenous.“DidtheAscendedwithholdbloodfromyouoften?”
“There’dbeyearswhentheykeptmewellfed.”Thetwistof
hislipswasamockeryofasmile.“Thenthey’dgivemeenoughsoIdidn’tdie,
andsometimes,thatwasn’tenough.”
Years
Sorrowgrippedmyheart—forhim,forhisbrother,andany
otherwhowasgoingthroughthat.ButmostlyforCasteelbecauseheknewexactly
whathisbrotherwasfacing.“Butyoucameback.”
“ThereweretimeswhenIdidn’tthinkIwould,Poppy.”He
staredintotheflames,hisvoicebarelyaudible.“WhenIforgothowmuchtime
hadpassed.WhenIforgotwhoIwasandwhatmatteredtome.Itwaslikeparts
ofmybrainhadturneddark.”Hedraggedahandthroughhishairandthen
droppedittohisknee.“ButIcameback.Notthesame.Neverthesame.ButI
foundpartsofwhoIusedtobe.”
Iswallowedagainsttheknotinmythroat.“I’m—”
“Don’tsayyou’resorry.”Hecutmeasharplookthat
would’vestungmyfeelingsbefore,butIunderstoodit—understoodhim.Sympathy
wasn’talwayswanted.“Youdidnothingyoushouldapologizefor.”
“You’reright.IwasgoingtosayI’mgladyoufoundyourself.”
Aharshlaughburstfromhim.“Truly,Poppy?Areyou
really?”
“Yeah,IguessIam.”Iliftedashoulderinashrug.“You
mayhavecomebackasanasshole,butthat’sbetterthanbeinglostinyourown
mind.Iwouldn’twishthatonanyone.”
Thelaughthatlefthimwassofter,andittuggedatmy
lips.“True.”Hedraggedahanddownhisface.“Anyway,Iknowwhatit’slike
tobeclosetotheedge.I’vebeenpastit.I’mfine.”
“Butyou’renot,
Casteel.”
Hiseyeswidenedslightlyashelookedatme.
“What?”
“It’sjustthatyouhardlysaymyname.”
“ShouldIcallyouYourHighness?”
“Gods,”hechokedout.“No.”
Ididgrinalittleatthat,andhesawitandstaredasif
I’djustpulledoffanamazingfeat.Ihadnoideawhyagrinfrommewoulddo
that.
Irefocusedonthetaskathand.“Ifeltit.Ifeltyour
hungerthismorning,”Itoldhim.“Iknowyou’restarving,andIknowhowthat
feels,atleasttosomeextent.TheDukewouldforbidmefoodsometimeswhenhe
wasangry.Youneedtofeed.”
“Firstoff,knowingthattheDukedidthat,Iwanttokill
himalloveragain.Butsecondly,bloodwasn’ttheonlythingIwasstarvedfor
thismorning.”Hiseyeswereheatedhoney.“AndIthinkyouknowthat.”
Mypulseskittered,andmyvoicesoundedraspierthannormal
whenIsaid,“Ifyouwon’tdothat—ifyoucan’t—thenyouneedtotakemy
blood.”
CasteeljerkedbackasifI’dsmackedhim.Herosetohis
feetinthenextinstant.“Poppy—”
“Youcan’tcontinueonthisway.”Istood,notnearlyas
gracefullyashehad.“Whatifyougetinjuredagain?”
“I’llbefine.”Hetookastepbackfromme.“Itoldyou.I
won’tlosecontrolagain.”
“Idon’tthinkyouhaveachoiceinthat,doyou?It’sjust
apartofwhoyouare.YouneedAtlantianblood.Youhaven’tfedfromanyone
else,somaybeyou’lldoitfromme.It’snotlikeyouhaven’tbittenme
before.”
Theanglesofhisfacestoodoutinstarkrelief.“Ihaven’t
forgottenthat.”
“Thenthisshouldn’tbeabigdeal.Youneedblood.Ihave
theblood.Let’sgetitoverwith.”
Helaughed,butitwaswithouthumor.“Getitoverwith?As
ifthiswilljustbeanotherbusinessarrangement?”
Iliftedmychin.“Ifthat’swhatitneedstobe,thenitwill.”
“So,you’reokaywithbeingthat?Beingthesourceofmy
strength,consideringeverythingthatI’vedonetoyou?Addingthistoalong
listofthingsyoudon’twanttodobutfeelyouneedto?”
“Well,whenyouputitthatway…”Ithrewupmyhandsin
frustration.“MaybeI’dratherbethesourceofyoursanitysoIdon’thaveto
worryaboutyoutearingintomyneckbetweennowandwheneverthisisover.”
Hischestrosewithadeep,shudderingbreathashis
shouldersbunchedwithtension.
“Canyoureallysaythatitwon’thappenagain?Lookme
straightinthefaceandtellmeyoutrulybelievethatyou’llbeabletostopnext
time,”Idemanded.Whenhisnostrilsflaredandhesaidnothing,Iknewthe
truth.AndIknewIhadtoadmitanothertruth,onethatIwouldn’tbeableto
takeback.“Ifeltyourhunger,Casteel,andIdon’tneedtodothis.
IstoppeddoingthingsIdidn’twanttodothemomentItookoffthedamnveil.
Iwanttohelpyou.Becauseasstupidasthismaymakeme,andonlythegods
knowwhy,Icareaboutyou!So,yeah,Idon’twanttohavemythroatrippedopen,
andIalsodon’twanttoknowthatyou’resufferingfornoreason.”
Tremblingandstomach
twisting,IfeltlikeI’djuststrippedmyselfbare.“There’sprobablysomething
wrongwithme—actually,there’sdefinitelysomethingwrongwithme.Obviously.
Butifyou—”Iforcedthewordsoutbeforetheychokedme.“Ifyoucareabout
meatall,youwon’twanttoputmeatrisk.You’lltakewhatI’mofferingwith
athankyouandstopactinglikeanidiot!”
Casteelstaredatme,hisbrowsraised,andthen,afterwhat
feltlikeaneternity,hisshoulderslowered.“I’msoincrediblyunworthyof
you,”hewhispered,andIshivered,rememberingtheonlyothertimehe’dsaid
thattome.ItwasthenightI’dsharedmybody,myheart,andmysoulwith
him.Heliftedhisheadandseemedtotakeanotherbreath.“Okay.”
Iexhaledslowly.“Okay.”
“Ononecondition,”hesaid.“Iwon’tdothisalone.Not
after…notafternotfeedingforsolong.Iwon’triskthat.I…Icouldtaketoo
much.Doyouagree?”
Atfirst,theideaofsomeoneelsebeingpresentmademe
uncomfortable,butthenIrememberedhowhisbitehadfeltbefore.Maybehaving
someonepresentwouldcurtailthat.
So,Inodded.“Iagree.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter26
MybarefeetcurledagainstthewoodfloorasKieranlooked
betweenCasteelandme,andIreallywishedIhadn’tlearnedoftheJoiningand
howitcouldsometimesbecome…intimate
KieranbeingherewhileCasteelfedfeltextremelyintimate.
Casteelhadn’tbeengonemorethanafewminutes,andI
stoodinthesamespotaswhenhe’dleft,asifI’dbeengluedtothefloor.It
wasn’tthatIhaddoubts.Ijustcouldn’tbelieveI’dofferedtodothis—that
notonlydidIwanttodothisbutthatIhadalsoadmittedthatIcaredfor
him.Itfeltlikemylifehadonceagainchangedirrevocablyinaspanof
minutes.
“Idon’tneedtotakealot,”CasteelsaidtoKieran,wholooked
likehewasabouttogotowar.Actually,they’dbeenbattlingwitheachother
forthelasttenminutesorso.Casteelwashesitating,andKieranwasaboutto
throwhimatme.
Thewolvenstoodthere,armscrossed,andeyesglittering.
“Youneedtotakemorethanasiportwo.Youneedtofeedlikeyounormally
would.”
AmusclethrobbedinCasteel’sjawashelookedoverto
whereIstood.IfeltlikeIneededtosaysomething,toofferreassurance
becauseCasteelactuallylookedlikehewasasecondfrombolting.“Takewhat
youneed,”Itoldhim,willingmyvoicesteady.
Casteelstaredatme,andforamoment,Isawaglintofincredulity
inhisgaze,andthenhislasheslowered.
MyheartthumpedpainfullyagainstmychestasCasteel
openedhiseyes.
Hetookonestepandthenstopped.Hischestroseandfell
sharply.“Thisisyourlastchancetochangeyourmind.Areyousureabout
this?”
Swallowinghard,Inodded.“Yes.”
Hiseyesclosedoncemore,andwhentheyreopenedthistime,
onlythethinneststripofamberwasvisible.Hedippedhischin,andthesharpness
ofhungeretcheddeeplyintohisfeatures.“Youknowwhattodo.”Hisvoicewas
rougher,barelyrecognizableashespoketowhereKieranloomed.“IfIdon’t
stop.”
ButwouldKieranintervene?Myheartskippedabeat.A
tendriloffearcurleditselfaroundtheforbidden,wickedswellofanticipation
withinme.
Kieranmovedbehindme,andthenIfelthisfingersalong
therightsideofmyneck.Ijumpedalittle,tellingmyselfnottothinkabout
theJoining.Tonotevengothere.BecauseifIdid,Iwouldbetheonebolting
fromtheroom.“I’mjustgoingtomonitoryourpulse,”hesaidquietly.“Just
tobesure.”
MygazefixedonCasteel.Heremindedmeofacagedanimal
whosecellwasabouttobeunlocked.“Doyounormallyhavetodothatwhen…when
hefeeds?”
“No.”Hisfingerswerecoolagainstmyneck.“Buthe’stoo
closetotheedgerightnow.”
Tooclosetotheedge…
Thenitwastoolatefordoubts.
Casteelwassuddenlybeforeme,thescentoflushspiceand
pinealmostoverwhelming.Hisfingersthreadedthroughmyhair,buthedidn’t
yank,eventhoughIcouldfeelhisbodyvibratingwithneed.
Ididn’tknowifIconsciouslychosetoconnectwithhimat
themomentorifmygifttookcontrol.Hishungerimmediatelyreachedme,
settlinginmychestandstomachinagnawingachethatseemedbottomless.And
underneaththat,theheavinessofconcern.
Hischeekgrazedmineasheeasedmyheadbackandtothe
side.“Therewillonlybeaheartbeatofpain.”Hisbreathwaswarmonmy
throat,hisvoiceragged.“Iswear.”
Thenhestruck.
Fierypainstolemy
breath,andmybodyjerked,interruptingtheconnectionI’dforgedwithhim.
Instinctdrovemetotakeastepback,butIbumpedintoKieran.Hishand
landedonmyshoulder,holdingmethere,andthenCasteel’sarmsweptaroundmy
waist.Thepainflaredbrighter,stunningme,andthen…
Theheartbeatcameandwent.
Casteel’smouthtuggedatmyskin,andIfeltthatstaggering
pullineverypartofmybody.Thepainflashedoutasquicklyasithadovertaken
me.Allthatwasleft,allthatexistedintheworldwasthefeelofhismouth
atmythroat,thedeep,longdrawsofmybloodleavingmeandfillinghim.My
eyeshadbeenopen,fixedonthedullwhiteplasteroftheceiling,butnow
theydriftedshutasmylipsparted.Hedrankfromme,thefingersinmyhair
curling.Hismouthlifted—
“That’snotenough,”Kieransaid.“That’snowherenear
enough,Cas.”
Casteel’sforeheadpressedtomyshoulderasthehand
againstmybackfistedthematerialofmyrobe.
Theconnectionthrummedintensely,andIcouldstillfeel
hishunger.Ithadeasedabit,butitwasstillacute.Kieranwasright.He
hadn’ttakenenough.
Tentatively,Iliftedmyhandsandtouchedhisarms.Nothis
bareskin.Ididn’tknowifeasinghispainwouldcausehimtostopornot.
“I’mokay.”MyvoicesoundedbreathlessasifIhadruncirclesaroundthe
fortress.“Youneedmore.Takeit.”
“Shespeaksthetruth.”Kieranplacedhishandabovemine,
squeezingCasteel’sarm.“Feed.”
Casteelshuddered,andthenheliftedhisheadslightly.His
lipsgrazedmyjaw,andthenthelineofmyneck,sendingashiverdownmy
spineasIbitdownontheinsideofmycheek.Hislipspressedtotheskinabove
thebite,awhisperofakissthatstartledme,andthenhismouthclosedover
thetinglingskinoncemore.
Everypartofmybodyseemedtofocusonwherehismouthwas
fastenedtomythroat.Thoughtsscatteredasanacheblossomedtolifelowin
mystomachandbetweenmythighs.ItriedtorememberthatKieranwasthere,
monitoringmypulse,andwhatweweredoingwasalmostlike…likealife-saving
procedure,butIcouldn’tholdontoanyofthosethoughts.Witheachpullagainst
myskin,eachtugthatseemedtoreachallthewaytomytoes,thatthrob
pulsed,andtheachegrewandgrew,heatingmybloodandmyskin.
Ineededtothinkaboutanythingbutwhatitfelttohave
Casteelatmyneck,hislipsmoving,themusclesofhisarmsbunchingundermy
palms.Butitwasnouse,and—oh,gods—theconnectiontohim,itwasstill
open.Therewashunger,yes,buttherewasalsomore.Aspicy,smokyflavor
filledthebackofmythroat.Thetaste,thefeeling,washeadyandoverwhelmed
mysenses.Mybodyjerkedwithapoundingfloodofdesirethatweakenedmylegs.
Ididn’tknowhowIwasstillstandingorifCasteelorKieranheldmeup.Each
breathItookseemedtooshallowastheachemovedtomybreasts.Tension
coiledtightlyinsideme,tothepointofnearanguish—arazor-sharptypeof
pleasurethatleftitsownversionofscars.
AsoundcamefromCasteel,athroatyrumble.Andthenhe
movedsuddenly,tuggingdeeplyatmythroatashepressedintome—pressedme
backagainstKieranwithunexpectedstrength.Thewolvenhitthewallbehindus
withagruntasCasteeltrappedusboth.Hismouthmovedagainstmyneckashis
hipsjerkedagainstmybelly—
Oh,gods
Icouldfeelhimagainstme.Icouldfeelhiminsideme—his
desireandmine,churningandtwistedtogether.Adullroaringsoundfilledmy
ears,andIwassuddenlydrowninginatorrentofsensationsthatcameatmein
endlesswaves.Trepidationandconcernoverwhatwashappeningwhileweweren’t
alone,withKieranthere,lodgedbehindus,fullyawareofwhatwasoccurring.
ShameovertherushofslickdampnessCasteelansweredwithagrindofhiships
ashishandsdroppedtomywaist.Desirethatsomehowmergedwithsomething
deeper,somethingirrevocable,anddisbeliefasIcurledmyarmaroundhisneck,
asIheldhim,wantingtodrowninthisfire.UntilIrealizedIalreadywas.
Ididn’tknowatwhatpointthingshadspunsooutof
control.Whenthewayheheldme,thewayhepressedagainstmewasnolonger
aboutquenchinghisthirstandmoreaboutassuagingadifferenthunger.I
didn’tknowexactlywhenIlostthefightagainstmybody.Ididn’tknowwhen
I’dstoppedthinkingaboutthefactthatitwasn’tjustCasteel’s
Wasitthebite?Wasittheneedandthewantthathadbeen
strokedtolifethenightattheRedPearlthathadnevergoneaway,becoming
thefireinmybloodthatsimmeredanytimeIwasclosetoCasteel?Wasit
somethingrecklessandwickedinsideme,inthecoreofwhoIwas,thatallowed
metoletgoandtoforget…everything?Orwasitallofthosethings
combined?Ididn’tknow—Ididn’tknowanythingwhenCasteel’shandstrembledas
theysliddownmythigh,overtherobe.Heliftedmeontothetipsofmytoes,
andthenhigher,drawingonelegaroundhiswaist.Thelowerhalfoftherobe
partedandtheupperpartslippedoffmyleftshoulder.Whenhishardness
pressedagainstthesoftestpartofme,allIknewwasthatIhadbecomethe
flamesinmyblood,somethingutterlyunfamiliartome,somethingdaringandshameless.
Iwasthefire,andCasteelwastheairthatfedit.
Casteel’shipssankintomine,andmybodyansweredwithout
consciousthought,churningagainsthimashefedandfed.Thetensioncoiled
tighter.Inthebackofmymind,Ididn’tknowifitwasthebiteorthefeel
ofhimbetweenmythighsthatwasquicklydrivingmeprecariouslyclosetothe
edge.
“That’senough,”Kieransaid.Hisvoiceshould’vebeenashock,
butitwasonlyasourceoffrustration.“That’senough,Casteel.”
Bodythrobbing,IopenedmyeyesinadazeasCasteel’schest
roseswiftlyagainstmine.Amomentpassed,andthenwhateverairIhadleft
abandonedmeasIfeltthewet,sinfullapofhistonguebelowthebiteand
thenagainstit.Thetensionpulsedagain,andthenhismouthliftedfrommy
neck.Thatwasasfarashemovedforseveralmoments,andthenhestepped
back,takingmewithhimasmyheartandbloodkeptpoundingandIcontinuedto
ache.Oneofhisarmsfoldedovermywaist,hisotherhandreturning
tomyhair,guidingmyheaddown.Iburiedmyfaceinhisneck,takinginhis
scentandjustbreathing.Bothofmylegswerecurledaroundhis
waist,andIwasn’tevensurewhenthathadhappened,butheheldmethere,no
spacebetweenourbodiesashelookedovermyshoulderatKieran.
“Thankyou,”hesaidroughly.
“You’reokay?”Kieranasked,andIfeltCasteelnod.“Penellaphe?”
Mytonguefeltheavy,butImanagedtoworkoutamuffled,
“Yes.”
“Good.”TheairstirredaroundusasKieranbrushedpast.
Thedoorcreakedopen,andcoolwindteasedthebarepartsofmyskin,butit
didnothingtostifletheheat.
“Thankyou,”CasteelsaidagaintoKieran,andthenthedoor
closed.Hisheadturnedtomine.“Thankyou,”hewhispered.
IsaidnothingasIheldhim,caughtinastormof…desire.
Casteelmoved,bendingandloweringmetothebed.Thebackofmyheadrested
onthepillowashishandsslidoutfromunderneathme.Ifeltthebeddipwith
hisweightashesatbesideme,andIopenedmyeyes.
Casteelwasclose,hishandsoneithersideofmyheadashe
hoveredoverme.Icouldseethattherobehadslippedevenfarther,revealing
theupperswellofmybreast.Thetipsofmybreaststentedthethinmaterial
ofthesoftrobe.Andlower,oneentirelegwasvisible,allthewaytothecrease
ofmythighandhip.Ishouldfixtherobe,covermyself.Ishouldbe
embarrassed,butIdidn’tmovemyhands.Itwasn’tthatIcouldn’t.Isimply
didn’tasIshiftedmygazetohis.
Thoseeyesblazedlikeheatedhoney,beautifuland
consuming.Neitherofusspokeashischestroseandfell,hisbreathsasrapid
asmine.Hismuscleswererigidasheheldhimselfincheck.Iknewthatwas
whathewasdoing,becauseIwasstillconnectedtohim,opentohimforlonger
thanIhadeverbeenopentoanyone,andInolongerfeltthegnawinghunger.
WhatIfeltwasrichandsmoky,andnearlyasintense.Mybreathhitched,andI
burnedevenmore.
Hislipsparted,andthetipsofhisfangsappeared.The
bitetingledsosharplythatashiverywavecrashedthroughme,causingmy
thighstosqueeze,andmyhipstotwitch.
Casteel’seyesclosedashedrewinaraggedbreath.
“Poppy…”Therewasawealthofneedinthatoneword,inmyname.Itrembled.
Thenhiseyesopenedagain,andtheywerenearlyluminous.“You’vealready
givensomuchofyourself,donesomuchforme,”hesaid,andIthoughthespoke
ofmorethanjustmyblood.Hismouthlowered,andtheanticipationswelled.He
stoppedmereinchesfrommymouthashishandcurvedaroundmyhip.“Letmedo
thisforyou.Letmetakeawaytheache.”
Myheartclamoredevenasmyentirebodywenttight.I
neededtosayno.Therewereahundreddifferentreasonsforthat.Butthat
wasn’twhatcameoutofmymouthinahuskyvoicethatwasnotmine.“Butwhat
aboutyourache?”
Afinetremorcoursedthroughhim.“Thisisn’taboutme.”
Hishanddriftedovermystomach,towheremyskinwasbaredatthelefthip.
“LetmethankyoutheonlywayIcanrightnow.Letmeshowyoumygratitude.”
Icouldbarelybreatheorthink.Ipulledmysensesback,
thinkingthatwouldhelpclearmymind,butmydesirestillbeatatme,intune
withmyunsteadyheart.AndIrealizedthatIwasstillthefire.Istill
wanted,rightorwrong,justlikeIhadthismorning,whichfeltlikeaneternity
ago.
Iwasvaguelyawareofmyheadmovinginanod,andthen
Casteel’schindipped,andhislipsgrazedmine.Heturnedmeontomyside,
awayfromhim,ashestretchedoutbehindme.Confused,Ilookedovermy
shoulderathimasheshiftedontohiselbowandmetmygaze.
“You’resobrave,”hemurmured,tuggingmeintothecradle
ofhiships.Therobehadslipped,andtherewasnothingbuthisbreeches
betweenthecurveofmyrearandthehardlengthofhimnow.Ibitdownonmylip
asheskimmedhishanddownmythigh,liftingmylegup,justenoughforoneof
histoslidebetweenmine.
Hedrewhishandupmyside,overmyarm,andthenmovedback
down.“Andstrong.”
Therobeslippedmore,seemingtofollowhishand.Ilooked
toseethatthematerialhadpartedevenmore,exposingonebreast.Warmthsuffused
mycheekswhenIsawtheevidenceofmydesireintheturgidpeak.Hishand
closedovermybreast,drawingagaspfrommeashisthumbswirledoverthe
nub.Mybackarchedintothetouch,intohim.
“Sogenerous,”herasped,slidinghishanddownlower,below
mynavelandovermybarehipthenlowerstill.Hisfingersmetthewetness
gatheringthere,andthenhecuppedme.Histouchwaslikeabrandasheidly
drewonefingerovertheverycenterofmeinlight,playfulstrokesthat
causedmyentirebodytotwitch.Hecontinuedwiththosefeatherlighttouches
untilIthoughtIwouldstretchbeyondmyskin,thatIsurelywouldignite,and
thenhesankafingerinsideme.Myheadkickedbackagainsthischestasa
breathysoundescapedme.“Sofuckingbeautiful,”hegrittedout,withdrawing
hisfingeruntilhewasalmostfreeofmybodyandtheninchingitbackin.
Heangledhishandsohisthumbdancedoverthesensitivebundle
ofnervesashecontinuedtostrokewiththatlong,talentedfingerofhis,
pumpingitslowlyinandout,takingmoreandmoreofmybreathwitheachthrust
ofhisdigit.Heworkedhisotherarmaroundme,foldingitacrossmychest.He
palmedthetoo-tightbreastasheworkedinasecondfinger,stretchingme,
feedingthefireevenmore.
Icriedout,pressingagainsthishand,againsthim.His
breathcameinroughburstsasIturnedmyheadtoseehimwatchinghishands,
watchingmeliftandgrindagainstit.Islippedintothebalmysensation,
fallingmaddeninglyintoit.Realityfellaway.Ihadn’tbeenthecaptive.He
hadn’tbeenthecaptor.Weweren’tpartnersinanagreement,eachusingtheother.
Itwasjustus,hisskilledfingersandhands,thewarmthofhisarms,the
glorioustighteningwithinme,andwhenhetrembled,cursingasIrodehis
hand,rodethehardlengththatpressedagainstmefrombehind.Itwasall
thosethings,andthesuddenthrillofpowerandcontrol.
Hestartedtoanglehisbodysotherewasspacebetweenus,
butI’dgivenintothefire.Ireachedback,curledmyfingersaroundhiship,
andduginmynailsinasilentdemand.
Casteelobeyed.
Hesubmittedwithanothercurseandabrief,hotpassofhis
lipsacrossthecurveofmineashisfingersplungedharder,deeper.Irocked
againsthim,andtherewasnorhythmaswebothmovedandstrained.Thecurl
lowinmystomachspunandspun—
“Poppy,I—”HebrokeoffasIplacedmyotherhandoverhis,
holdinghimtomeasIworkedhim.
Andithappened—thetighteningandcurling,allofit
unraveled,strokingoutthrougheverylimb.Imoanedasreleasepoweredthrough
me,asIshudderedaroundhisfingers,andheshudderedagainstme,
stillmovingthosedamndigitsofhisandelicitingeverywhippingwaveof
sensationhecoulduntilmyhandsfellawayfromhim,andIwentlimp.Until
hisbreathingsteadiedagainstmycheek.Then,slowly,heeasedoutofme.
Hishanddidn’tmovefarthough,insteadglidingupand
stoppingjustbelowmynavel.Hetuggedthehalvesofmyrobeclosedwithhis
otherhand,holdingitinplacejustbelowmybreasts.Therewassomething
abouttheactthatseemed…gentle.
Slowly,Ibecameawareofadampnessagainstmylowerback
andtheupperswellsofmybehind.Itippedmyheadbackandtotheside.
Hisheadrestedonthepillowbehindmine,hisfeatures
relaxedinawaythatI’donlyseenwhenheslept.Thoseeyesofhiswereheavy
andhoodedashisgazemetmine.
Andthenthestrangestthingoccurred.Pinkcreptintohis
cheeksasheshiftedhishipsawayfromme.“Sorry,”hesaidthickly,aboyish
grinappearingonhislips.“Thatwasn’tsupposedtohappen.”
Ilookeddown.Therewasaspotalongthefrontofhispants
thatwasadarkerblack.Damp.Mycheekscoloredasmygazeflewtohis.
“Thathasn’thappenedsince…”Thegrinturnedsheepish,and
betweenthatandthefaintblushstaininghischeeks,itwaslikeseeingsomeone
totallydifferent.“Well,that’sneverhappenedbefore.”
“Really?”Iasked,surprisedbythethroatinessofmyvoice.
“Really.”Hisgazesearchedmine.“Ididn’twant—Imean,of
course,Iwantedthat.Iwantedmore.Ialwayswantmorewhenitcomestoyou.”
Thehueofhiseyesbrightenedoncemore,andmytoescurled.“ButIwanteditto
beaboutyou.”
Gods,therewasalsosomethingsotenderaboutthewayhe
saidthat.“Itwasaboutme.Youtriedtoputspacebetweenus.”Iturnedmy
headaway,mygazefallingtohishands.“I’mtheonewhodidn’tallowthat.”
“AndIlikedthat.”Apause.“Alot.Obviously.”
Mylipstwitched.
“Whoknewyoucouldbesodemanding,”hecontinued,andI
rolledmyeyes.“Ialsolikedthat.Obviously.”
Igrinned.
Hisexhalewassoft,ticklingthebackofmyneck.“Whatyou
didforme?Offeringtofeedme?Iknowthathadtobescary.”
Itwasn’t.Notreally.
“AndIjustwantyoutoknowthatI…”Heclearedhisthroat.
“Therereallyaren’twords,otherthanthankyou.”
Istaredathisfingersandthetendonsofhishands,
searchingforsomehintofregretorshame.Iwassuretheembarrassmentwould
comelaterwhenIsawKieran,butIdidn’tregretofferingmybloodtoCasteel.
Andlikebefore,Ididn’twishthatwhathappenedafterwardhadn’t.Itdidn’t
feelshamefulorwrong.Ithadfeltnatural,asifsomeinherentknowledgesaid
thatitwascommonforthatlevelofintimacytocomefromfeeding.Togiveway
tomore.ThatifI’dgrownupinAtlantia,thatifheandIwere
differentpeople,whatwe’dsharedafterwardwouldbecommon.Onceagain,itfelt
like…likethegroundweheldhadchangedandshiftedunderus.
“Youdon’tneedtothankme.”Iclosedmyeyes.“Itwasmy
choice.”
Casteeleasedhisarmoutfromunderme,andthebedshifted
ashisweightleftit.AlanguidwarmthsettledovermeasIwatchedhimmake
hiswaytowherehisbaglayatthefootofthebed.Hepulledsomethingout
andthendisappearedintothebathingchamber,closingthedoorbehindhim.I
heardthefaintsoundsoffreshwaterfrompitchersbeingemptiedintothebasin.
Watersplashed,andIwonderedhowhewasabletowithstandthecoldnessofit.
Iwiggledmytoesagainsttheblanketbunchedatthefootof
thebed,thinkingIshouldriseoratleastpulltheblanketup,butIwastoo
comfortabletomaketheeffort.Myeyesdriftedshut,reopeningwhenIheard
thedooropen.Casteelstrodeout,wearingonlythoseloosecottonpantsthat
hungindecentlylowonhiships.Ishouldn’tlook,andIdefinitelyshouldn’t
stare,butIsoakedinthesightofthelean,coiledmusclesofhisabdomenand
thedefinedlinesofhischestandshoulders.Hisformwasevidenceofyears
spentwieldingaswordandusinghisbodyasaweapon,buttolooklikehim…
Itshouldbeforbidden.
Casteelcaughtmygaze,andhisfulllipscurved.Thedimple
inhisrightcheekappeared.
Andthentheleftone.
“Ilikethat,”Casteelsaid.
“What?”
“Youlookingatme.”
Iwatchedhimtosstherolled-uppairofbreechesintohis
bag.“I’mnotlookingatyou.”
“Mymistake,then,”hemurmured,thedimpleinhisright
cheekremained.Hestraightened,andthemusclesalonghisspinedidinteresting,
fascinatingthings.
Iwaitedforhimtoteasemeaboutwhatwe’ddone,forhim
topointoutthatyetagain,andtwiceinoneday,I’dprovenmyselfwrongwhen
itcametohim.
Theteasingnevercame.
Hedisappearedfrommylineofsight,andIsomehowmanaged
tonotturnandwatchhim.Ahandfulofmomentspassed,andthenthebeddipped
underhisweightoncemore.Surprisewhisperedthroughme.Ishould’veknownthe
momentIsawhiminthosepantsthathewasn’tleavingtheroom,butIguessedI
hadn’texpectedhimtostay.Itwassoearlyintheday,barelynoon.
Reachingdown,Casteelgrabbedtheblanketandtuggeditup
overme—overus—andthenhesnuggledinbehindmelikehehadbefore.
Silencestretched,fillingtheroom,andthenhesaid,“Can
I…canIjustholdyou?”heasked,andI’dneverheardhimsoundsouncertain.
“TherearethingsIshouldbedoing,andIknowwe’renotinpublic,andIknow
thatwhatweshareddoesn’tchangeanything,but…canI…canwejustpretend?”
Myheartthumpedheavilyagain,andIdidn’tknowifitwas
theeffectofthefeedingorwhatwe’ddoneafterward.Orifitwasthesoftness
ofhisrequest,thevulnerabilityinit,andthefeelingthatthingshad
shiftedevenmorebetweenus.Itcould’vebeenallofthosethingsthatledme
tosay,“Youcan.”
Casteel’sexhalewasragged,buthedidn’tmove.WhenI
lookedovermyshoulder,hiseyeswereclosed,hislipsparted.Iwonderedif
hewasallright.“Casteel?”
Thicklashessweptup,revealingextraordinarilybright
ambereyes.“I…Ididn’tthinkyou’dletme.”
Lyingmyheadbackdown,Iwetmylips.“ShouldIhavenot?”
“Yes?No?Idon’tknow.”Casteelmovedthen,slippingone
armundermeandtheotheraroundme.Hetuggedmeclose,sealingmybackto
hischest.“Notakebacksnow,though.”
IallowedmyselfasmallsmileasIsankintohisembrace,
hiswarmth.AndIpermittedmyselfoneotherthing.
Iletmyselfenjoyit.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter27
PullingoneofCasteel’scleantunicsovermyhead,Ilooked
downatmyselfandsighed.Betweenthetooloosebreechesandtheoversized
shirt,whichnearlyreachedmyknees,Ilookedabitridiculous.Buttheplain
blackshirtwasfarbetterthanthetoo-heavysweater.
Wehadn’tdozedthatlong,maybealittleoveranhour
beforeIwoketofindhimproppeduponhiselbow,watchingme.WhenIasked
whathewasdoing,hesimplyrespondedwith,“Enjoyingthescenery.”
I’dblushedathousandshadesofred,andhe’dsmiledbefore
loweringhisheadandbrushinghislipsovermyforehead.Thenhe’dsaidthat
hehadanidea,andthatwashowIendedupinthebaggybreechesandoneof
hisshirts.
Glancingattheovalmirrorbeforeleavingthebathing
chamber,Icaughtsightofthesideofmyneck.Thepatchofskinaroundthe
tworedpuncturewoundswasfaintlypink.Itouchedtheskin,findingthearea
tenderbutnotpainful.WhenIleftthebed,I’dnotedthattheshadowsunder
Casteel’seyesweregone,aswasthesharpnesstohisfeatures.Itwasamazing
howquicklymybloodhadaffectedhim.
Itwasalsoamazinghowhisbitehadaffectedme
Themomenthismouthhadclosedovermyskinandtheinitial
painofhisbitevanished,itwasliketumblingintoaworldwheretheonly
thingthatmatteredwashimandthefeelofhimdrawingapieceofmedeep
insidehim.WhatKieranhadsharedwithmebeforeaboutheartmateshadn’tmattered.
TherealizationthatCasteelhadpossiblykeptthetruthofSpessa’sEndfrom
mebecauseheeitherfearedIwouldsharewhatIknewifcapturedorhehadn’t
trustedmewiththeinformationuntilIwasfarenoughoutsidetheAscended’s
reachwasnolongeraconcern.Neitherwastheshockoflearningaboutthe
Joining.TherehadbeennoshameoverbeingtrappedbetweenKieranandCasteel
asKieranhadbeenallbutpinnedtothewallbyCasteel’sneed.I’dbecomea
flame,andnoneofthathadmattered.
Butnow?
Now,therewasembarrassmentwhenIthoughtofKieran—the
wolvenwhomusthaveknownaboutthetradition.SomethingCasteelhadnever
toldmeaboutbecauseithadn’tbeenrelevantforhimtodoso.Themarriage
wastemporary.AnactthatIwasn’tsurewasasinnocentasCasteelmadeitout
tobe—atleastnotmostofthetime.ButIdidn’tfeelshameforwhatKieran
hadwitnessed.Ididn’tknowifIwassupposedto,butitdidn’tfeellike
somethingtobeashamedof.MyreactiontoCasteelwasnatural,andevenif
whatcameafterwardwhenCasteelexpressedhisgratitudewasfoolishlyreckless
whenitcametomyheart,ithadalsofeltright
FlushingatCasteel’sapparentlackofcontrol,Iscoopedmy
hairoutfromthetunic’scollar,leavingitdown.He’dsaidthathadnever
happenedbefore,andIcouldn’tfathomwhyhe’dlieaboutthat.Thefactthat
it’dhappenedwithmewasinconceivable,buttherewasanoddsenseofpower
there,too,oneasoldastimeitself.ThekindofpowerthatIimaginedMiss
WillaandthewomenattheRedPearl,theoneswhoworkedthereandwere
patronsoftheestablishment,hadmastered.
HearingCasteel’sfootstepsinthebedchamber,Itoremy
gazefromthemirrorandslidopenthepocketdoor.
Casteelhadmanagedtochangehisclothing.Somewhat.He’d
donnedhisbreechesandboots,butthewhitetunicstilldangledfromhis
fingertips.Somethingaboutthehardlinesofhischestandstomachwere
utterlyfascinating,butmyearlierboldnesshadleftme.
“So,aboutmyidea,”hesaid,liftingtheshirtoverhis
head.
“I’mhalfafraidtoask.”Imovedtotheterracedoors.He’d
openedoneafterwewoke.Warmsunlightspilledacrossthetilefloor.
Hislaughwasmuffledastheshirtslippedoverhishead.
“I’mwounded.”
Withhisbacktome,Igrinned.“I’msureyouare.”
“Completely.”Facingme,helefttheshirtuntucked.“Since
it’searlyintheday,Ithoughtwecouldtakealittlefieldtrip.”
ExcitementbubbledtolifeasIshoveduponelongsleeve.
“Towhere?”
“IthoughtyoumightliketoseetherealSpessa’sEnd.”
IopenedmymouthtoaskifhetrulytrustedmewithwhatI
saw,butImanagedtostopmyself.
Hisgazeflickeredoverme.“What?”
“Iwouldlikethat,”Isaidinstead.
Casteel’sheadcockedashestudiedmeforamoment,almost
asifhedidn’tbelievemyanswer.“I’mgladtohearthat.”Hecameforward,
stoppinginfrontofme.“Butthereisacaveat.”
“Whatisthat?”Iaskedasheliftedmyarm.
Hefoldedovertheedgesofthesleeves,formingacuff.“We
continuetopretend.”
Myheartskippedabeat.“Thatyou’rejustHawke?”
“Andyou’rejustPoppy.”Herolledupthesleeve,halting
justbelowmyelbow.“Wantthesleeveshigher?”
Knowingthathewasaskingbecauseofthepalescarsonmy
innerelbows,Inodded.
Therewasaglimmerofapprovalinhiseyesashetuckedthe
sleevesoitwasabovemyelbow.“Wedon’tspendtherestoftheafternoon
thinkingaboutthepast.”
“Orworryingaboutthefuture?”Isaid.
Henoddedashemotionedformetoliftmyotherarm.“We
willjustbeHawkeandPoppy.That’sall.”
Iwatchedhimrolluptheothersleeve.“Nooneelsewill
treatyouasHawke.Theywon’tseemeasPoppy.”
Hisgazeliftedtomine.“Nooneelsematters.Justyouand
me.”
Anotherskipofanotherbeat.Therewasnodenyingthatit
wouldbeincrediblyill-advisedofmetopretendanymore.Itblurred
everything,andpretending…well,itdidn’tfeellikethattome.Buttherewas
alsonodenyingthatIwantedexactlywhatheoffered.
Andsincewhendidsomethingbeingfoolisheverstopme?
Besides,IwantedtoseeSpessa’sEnd.
Tellingmyselfthatwasthemainreason,Inodded.“Iagree
toyourconditions.”
Thedimpleappearedinhisrightcheek.“So,it’sadeal?”
“Yes.”
“Thenwemustsealthedeal,”hetoldme.“Anddoyouknow
howAtlantianssealadeal?Theydosowithakiss.”
“Really?”Iaskeddoubtfully.“Thatsoundsincredibly
problematic.”
“Perhaps.”
“Anditalsosoundslikealie.”
Casteelnodded.“Itis.”
Therewasnosilencingthelaugh.Itburstfromme.And
Casteel—hemovedsounbelievablyfast.Hisheaddipped,andhismouthwason
minebeforethelaughevenfaded.Theshockofhislipsagainstminesenta
joltthroughme.Thekisswas…itwasasintoxicatingashisbite,aseverything
abouthimwas.Andwhenhisfingerssiftedthroughmyhair,guidingmyhead
back,therewerenoproteststobefound.Thekissdeepened,andthetouchof
hisfangs,histongueonmine,sentahot,tightshudderthroughme.
“Sorry,”hewhisperedagainstmylips.“IknowIshould’ve
askedfirst,butyourlaugh…Itundoesme,Poppy.”Heslidhishandsovermy
cheeks,hisfingersnothesitatingwhentheyreachedthescars.“You’remore
thanwelcometopunchmeforit.”
Ididn’twanttopunchhim.Iwantedhimtokissmeagain.A
softbreathleftme.“Iguessthedealissealednow,isn’tit?”
Hegaveanaudibleswallow.“Thatitis.”Drawingback,he
tookmyhand.“Come.Ifwespendanothermomenthere,Idon’tthinkwe’llmake
itfromthisroom.”
Myeyeswidened.Therewasnomistakingtheseriousnessof
hiswords,andanothershiverdancedacrossmyskin.
Casteelledmeoutthroughtheterraceandintothe
courtyard,hishandstillfirmlyaroundmine.Ilookedofftowardthe
sun-drenchedRiseandsquinted.“AretherepeopleontheRise.”
“Thereare,andtheywerealsotherelastnight.Youjust
couldn’tseethem.”
“Mortaleyesightsucks,”Imuttered,andhesmirked.“ButI
thoughttheAscendedweren’tathreatthisfareast.”
“Theyhaven’tbeen,butI’dratherbesafethansorry.”
Ourbootstrodsoftlyoverthepatchygrassandsand.“Alastir
saidthatrebuildingSpessa’sEndwasyouridea.”
“Forthemostpart,”hesaid,andthatwasallhe
saidaswenearedthestables.Ifeltthestingofdisappointment,butthenI
remindedmyselfthattodaywasn’taboutthefuture.“Youupforriding?It’s
notthatfarofadistancetowalk,butI’mfeelinglazy.”
“I’mfinewitheither.”
“Perfect.BecauseIhaveanotheridea,”hesaid.Amoment
later,anoldermanstrodeoutoftheopendoorofthetackroom.“Howareyou
doing,Coulton?”
Themancameforward,draggingahandkerchiefoverhisbald
head.Thecloserhegot,Irealizedhewasawolven.Hiseyesweretheblueof
awintermorning.“Good.”Hebowedhisheadingreeting.“Andyou?”
“Neverbeenbetter.”
AgrinappearedasCoulton’sgazeslidtome.Thesmile
haltedashesuddenlytookastepback.Hestaredatme,andItensed,myhands
tighteningonreflex—squeezingCasteel’s.Iimmediatelyforcedmygripto
relax.Eitheritwasthescars,orthewolvenrealizedwhoIwas—whoIused
tobe.TheMaiden.IremindedmyselfthatIcouldn’tnecessarilyblamehimfor
hisreaction.
“Iseverythingokay,Coulton?”Casteelasked,toneflat.
Thewolvenblinkedandthenhissmilereappeared.“Yeah.
Yes.Sorry.It’sjustIhadtheweirdestsensation.”HelookedathisPrince,
theolivetoneskindeepeningtoaruddycolor.“Likeastaticky,charged
feeling.”Heshovedthehandkerchiefintothefrontpocketofhissleeveless
shirt.“Isthisher?Yourfiancée?”
Wantingtobelievethatthewolvenspokethetruth,Iknew
betterthantobelievesomethingsimplybecauseIwantedittobetrue.I
openedmysensesandreachedouttohim.Theinvisibleconnectionformed,andI
expectedthebittertaste,thechokingheavinessofdistrustanddislike.That’s
notwhatIfelt.Thecoolsplashagainstthebackofmythroatwassurprise,
followedbythetartsensationofconfusion.Itfeltlikehewasspeakingthe
truth.
“ThisisPenellaphe,”Casteelsaid.“Myfiancée.”
HearingthecoolnessinCasteel’stone,Isteppedforward
andextendedmyhandasIsmiled.“It’snicetomeetyou,Coulton.”
Asmileappeared,onethatstretchedacrossthewolven’s
entireface.“It’sanhonortomeetyou.”Thewolventookmyhand,andhiseyes
widened.Throughtheconnection,Ifelthissurpriseoncemore.“Thereitis
again.Thatfeelingofstatic.”Helaughed,stillholdingmyhandasheshook
hishead.“Perhapsitisyou,Penellaphe.”
Havingfeltnothing,Isaid,“I’mnotsureaboutthat.”
“Idon’tknow.Youfeelasifyou’re…fullofenergy.Heard
youdescendedfromAtlantia.”Hesqueezedmyhandandthenletgoashelooked
atCasteel.“Iimagineit’sfromapowerfulline.”
Casteeltiltedhisheadasmybrowpuckered.“Ibelieveshe
is.”
“AreyouhereforSetti?”Coultonasked.“Ifso,he’soutin
thepasture.”
“No.Heneedshisrest.Ijustneedtwohorses.”
“Twohorses?”Iquestioned.
“That’smyotheridea.”Casteel’sfeaturesrelaxedintoa
grin.“Toteachyouhowtoridebyyourself.”
“What?”Iwhispered.
“Ah.I’vegottheperfecthorsesforthat.”Coultonpivoted,
walkingtowardthestallsalongtherightsideofthestables.“Therearetwo
oldermaresinhere.Greattemperament.Notlikelytotakeoff.”
“Youthinkthisisagoodidea?”Iasked.
“Nowseemslikeabettertimethanmost,”hetoldme.“And
you’regoingtodojustfineafterbeingonSetti.”
Iwasn’tsosureaboutthatasCoultonledoutastocky,
whiteandbrownhorsealongwithafawn-coloredone.Neitherwereaslargeas
Settibuttheywerestillbigenoughtotramplemetodeath.
“Whichonedoyouthinkisthebestfit?”Casteelasked.
“Mollyhereisagoodgirl.”Coultonpattedthesideofthe
spottedone.“She’llbegentle.”
Oncetheyweresaddled,CasteelnudgedmetowardMolly.
“You’lldojustfine,”hetoldme,voicelowasCoultonheldontobothhorses’
leads.“I’llkeepherreinsuntilyou’reready.”
Nervousandalittlescared,Ipushedpastthat.I’dalways
wantedtolearnhowtoride,anditwasanecessaryskillthatIlacked.Now
wasasgoodatimeasever.
IstrokedMolly’smuzzleasIwalkedovertoherside,swallowing.
Casteelfollowed,andIknewhewasgoingtohelpmeup.“IfIfall,tryto
catchme.”
“Icandothat.”
“Pleasedon’tkillme,”ImurmuredasIreachedup,gripping
thesaddle.“BeingkilledbyahorsenamedMollywouldbeembarrassing.”
Bothofthem
chuckled,butasIplacedmyfootinthestirrup,Casteelsaidtothewolven,
“Youhavethereins?”
“Mollyisn’tgoinganywhere.”
Ihauledmyselfup,rememberingattheverylastsecondto
swingmylegover.Amomentlater,Iwasseated,andI’ddoneitbymyself.I
lookeddownatCasteel.
Hesmiled,andIfeltacatchinmychest.Bothofhis
dimplesappeared.“Now,I’llhavenoexcusetotouchyouinappropriatelyinan
appropriatesetting.”
“I’msureyou’llfindanotherway,”Coultonremarked.
“Thatistrue.”Casteelbithislowerlip.“Iamvery
inventive.”
Irolledmyeyes,eventhoughIwaspracticallyburstingat
theseamswithpride.Thismaynotseemlikeabigdealtomany,butitwasto
me.
Casteelkepthiseyesonmeashemountedtheotherhorse,
whoturnedouttobenamedTeddy.IalmostlaughedwhenCasteelfrownedatthe
name.
“Ready?”heaskedonceheheldbothreins.
Holdingontothehornofthesaddle,Inodded.“Ihope
Settidoesn’tgetjealous.”
“Hewillifheseesyou.”
SayinggoodbyetoCoulton,Casteelledusoutofthe
stables.Thefirstcoupleofstepssentmyheartpoundingbecauseitfeltlike
Iwouldfallatanysecond.ButCasteeltalkedmethroughit,remindingmethat
itwasnodifferentthanwhenhewasbehindme.
Casteelwentthroughthebasicsofcontrollingahorseashe
ledusaroundthesideofthefortressandalongthecrumblingwall.
“Togetahorsetostop,youcloseyourfingersaroundthe
reins,squeeze,andpullbackslightly.Thehorsewillfeelthetugandknowto
stop,”hesaid,showingthetechnique.“Youcanalsouseyourlegs,”he
explained,showingwhathemeant.WhenInodded,hecontinued.“Togetahorse
towalk,yousqueezewithyourlegsagain,butyoudoithere.”Hepointedat
thesideofthehorse.“Oryoupushwithyourseat—leaningforward.Anytimeyou
wantthehorsetolistentothecommand,youliftthereins.That’sasignalto
themthatacommandiscoming.Wanttotryit?”
Inodded.Keepingholdofthesaddle,IwaitedforCasteel
toliftthereins,puttinglighttensiononMolly’shalter,andthenIpressed
mykneeagainsttheareaCasteelhadpointedto.Mollylumberedforward.
Smiling,IturnedtoCasteel.“Ididit.”
Hestaredatme.“AndnowIwanttokissyou,butIcan’t
becauseyou’reonyourownhorse.”Thecornersofhislipsturneddown.“This
wasabadidea.”
Ilaughed.
“Areallybadidea.”
Aswetraveledaroundthesideofthefortress,hewent
throughsomemorebasiccommandswhilehavingmestopandstartMolly.Igrew
moreconfidentwitheachtry,andsofocusedonthehorse,Ididn’tevennotice
thatwe’dclearedthefortressuntilIlookedupandsawathicketoftrees
ahead.Weenteredthemslowly,andCasteelnavigatedbothhorsesdownthe
earthenpath.
“Coultonhadastrangereactiontoyou,”hesaidasthe
bushyleavesfilteredthesun.
“Hedid,butIthinkhewasbeinghonest.Hisreaction
wasn’tsomethingnegative.IknowbecauseIusedmygift.”
“Irealizedthatwhenyousteppedforward.Verysmartofyou
todothat.”
“I…beingabletoreademotionstogaugesomeone’sintentions
isn’tinfallible,”Isaid,startingtogrowusedtobeinginthesaddlealone.
“Butmostpeoplecan’thidetheiremotionsfromthemselves.”
“Itgivesyouanupperhand.It’swhatgavetheempathsthe
upperhand.”
“You’renotworriedthatIreadyouremotions?”Ipeeked
overathim.
“I’dratheryouuseeverythingyouhaveinyourarsenalthan
beworriedaboutwhatyou’repickingupfromme.”
“IthinkmostpeoplewouldpreferthatInotdoit.”
“I’mnotmostpeople.”
No,hewasnot.
“YouaskedearlierifSpessa’sEndwasmyidea.Itwasa
combinationofmineandKieran’s,”hesaidafterafewmoments,surprisingme
withhiswillingnessnowtotalkaboutthisplace.“Wecamehereoftenwhenwe
wereyounger,alongwithmybrother.”
IalreadyknewthatthosetripsalsoincludedShea,butI
keptthattomyself.
“It’sjustaday’sridethroughthemountains,andhalfof
thatfromtheretoSaion’sCove,acityinAtlantia,”hewenton.“Wecamehere
alot—Malikandme.Morethanourparentseverrealized.We’dinspectedevery
inchofthisland,findingallitssecretswhileourparentsbelievedwewere
intheCove.Theywouldhavehadourheadsifthey’dknownhowmanytimeswe
crossedoverintoSolis.”
“Wasn’tthatdangerous,though?”
“Thatwaswhatmade
itsoalluring.”Abriefgrinappeared.“ButevenwhenSpessa’sEndwasonce
populated,theAscendeddidn’ttraveltheroadeastallthatoften.Notmany
knewwhowewere,andwhilehere,wecouldjustbebrothers.”
InsteadofPrincesofafallenkingdom.
“Anyway,KieranandIbothrealizedthepotentialofthis
placewiththefortressandtheRisebeinglargelyintact.”Casteelshiftedin
hissaddle,holdingthereinslightlyinhisgrasp.“Withthislandbeingso
closetoAtlantia,it’simportant.”
Ididn’tthinkthatwastheonlyreasonwhyitwasimportant
tohim.
“Ittookabittoconvincemyfatherandmother.Theydidn’t
thinkitwouldgiveusenoughtobeartherisk,buttheyeventuallyrelented.
Althoughmyfatherhasbecomeincreasinglysupportiveoftakingbackallthe
land,mymotherhasbeenthevoiceofcaution.Shedoesn’twantanotherwar,
butsheknowsthatwecannotcontinueasweare.Weneedthisland.Weneed
more,butfornow,Ihopeitwillgiveusenoughthatiftheriskonedaypresents
itself,itwillbeworthit.”
Iconsideredthat,andsomethingoccurredtome.“Then
Spessa’sEndisapartofAtlantia.”
“AllofSoliswasonceAtlantia,butI’vereclaimedthis
land.ThisisAtlantiansoil.”
MyheartstammeredasIlookedoverathim.“Doesthatmean
wecould…wecouldbemarriedhere?”
“Yes.”Heheldmygazeforamomentandthenlookedahead.“But
that’snotwhatthisafternoonisabout,Poppy.”
“Iknow,”Isaid,butmyheartstillpoundedwiththe
knowledgethatthiswasAtlantiansoil.Thatmarriagemaycomesoonerratherthan
later.
Ashoutfromaheadstartledme,andmyjumpcausedMollytolurch
forward.Casteelsteadiedthereins.
“Youokay?”heasked.
Inodded.“Whatwasthat?”
“Training,Iimagine.”
“Training?”
Heinclinedhisheadtowardme.“Eventhoughtheriskislow,
wewatchfromtheRise,andwetrainthosewhocandefendthecityifneedbe.”
Interestmorethanpiqued,Ifacedforward.Werodetothe
edgesofafieldthathadbeenclearedofgrass.Alargestonepavilionsaton
theothersideoftheopenspace,butteduptothedensestandoftrees.White
andgoldencurtainsrippledinthebreeze,rollingandliftinggently,
revealingahandfulofpeopleseatedinside.
ButitwaswhatIsawstandinginthecenteroftheglen
thatleftmespeechless.
Womenstoodontheflattenedland,atleastadozenofthem,
dressedlikenowomanwoulddareinSolis.Wearingblackpantsandsleeveless
tunics,thesunglintedoffthegoldenringsencirclingtheirupperarms.
“Whoarethey?”Iasked.
“Them?”Casteelinclinedhisheadtowardthegroup.
“RememberthewomenItoldyouaboutthenightIfoundyouonthebattlements
oftheRise?”
Idid.“Womenwho
couldcutamandownwithoutblinkinganeye.”
“Youfailedtomentiontheotherpart.”Helookedatme,a
teasingsmoke-filledsmiletuggingatthecornersofhislips.“Aboutbeing
lessmagnificent—”
“Ididn’tforget,”Icuthimoff.“Ichosenottomention
it.”
Hechuckled,butbeforehecouldexplainfurther,amassof
movementsnaggedmyattention.Mendressedthesameasthewomenpouredout
fromtheshadowsofthesurroundingtrees,racingacrossthefield.Thewomen
werevastlyoutnumbered.Therehadtobethreetofourtimesmoremen.
Thewomenturned,allbutone,whostoodapartfromthe
others,closesttotheapproachingmen.Atallblonde,herhairpulledbackin
athickbraid.Shewaswatchingus,seeminglyunawareofthebehemothofaman,
largerthanevenElijah,racingtowardher,agoldenswordraised—
Sheturnedatthelastsecond,mylipspartingasshecaught
themanbythethroat.Lettingoutalong,waveringcrythatwastakenupby
theotherwomen,shedrovethemandown,slamminghimintotheground.Dirt
explodedonimpact,hangingintheairasshegrippedhisarm,twistinguntil
hedroppedhissword.Itseemedtofallintoherwaitinghand,andwithina
heartbeat,shehaditpointedathisthroat.
Ilookedoutovertheclearing,andonlythewomenstood,
eachofthemweaponlessatthestart,havingdisarmedthemen.Now,theyheld
swordsorspears,pointedatthemen’sthroatsorfarmoreinterestingareas.
“Theyarethekingdom’selite,eachoneskilledanddeadlier
thantheonebefore,”Casteelsaid,andIcouldfeelhisgazeonme.“Theyare
theGuardiansoftheAtlantianarmies.”
Unabletotakemyeyesoffthewomen,Iwatchedthemextend
theirhandstothemen.Theyhelpedthemtotheirfeet.
“Theyarethelastoftheirbloodline,bornintoalong
successionofwarriorswhowilldefendAtlantiatotheirlastbreath.”
“Andthey’reallwomen?”
“Theyare.”
TheGuardiansandthementooknoticeofourpresence.The
tallblondesteppedforward,placingherclosedfistoverherheart.Theother
womenfollowedsuitwhilethemenbowedfromtheirwaists.Casteelacknowledged
theirgesturesbyplacinghisfistoverhisheart.
IwasabsolutelyawestruckasCasteelnudgedourhorsesaround
theedgeofthefield,gratefulthathehadcontrolofMolly.Myeyeswere
stillgluedtothewomenastheyhandedtheweaponsbacktothemen.Ijust…it
wasalmostlikeIcouldn’tbelievewhatmyeyesweretellingme.Togrowupin
asocietywherethesharpestobjectawomanwaspermittedtohandlewasa
knittingneedle,Iwasstunned.AndIwasfascinatedasoneofthewomenshowed
amanabetterwaytogripthesword.
“They’retrainingthem,aren’tthey?”Iasked.
“Yes,”Casteelanswered.“TheGuardiansalwaystrainour
warriors,hereandbeyondtheSkotos.”
“So,therearemore?”Iwatchedawolvenwithblackand
whitefurprowloutfromthepavilion,approachingtheblonde.Thewolvennearly
reachedherchest.
“Thereareabouttwohundredofthemleft,”hesaidasthe
Guardiansmiledatthatwolven.“Butoneofthemisequaltotwentytrained
warriors.”
Ifinallydraggedmyawedgazefromthem.“Dotheyhave…unique
abilitiescourtesyoftheirbloodline?”
“Onlythefemalesbornwithinthatbloodline.Theyarelike
elementalsintermsofstrengthandmortality,andtheydoneedblood.”
“Areanyotherwarriorbloodlinesstillalive?”Iaskedas
weenteredtheothersideofthewoods.
Casteelshookhishead.“Theyaretheonlyonesleft.”Hepaused.
“Besidesyou.”
Besidesme.
Itwasstrangetohearthat,knowingIwasdescendedfroma
lineofwarriors.“Imaynotbetheonlyone,”Isaid,andCasteelfocused
ahead.“Iknowit’sunlikelythatIanismyfull-bloodedbrother,butthat
doesn’tmeantherearen’tothersouttherethatnooneknowsabout,including
theAscended.”
“That’strue,butIthinkitwouldbehighlydoubtfulthat
anyofthemhavegoneundetectedbythispoint.”Hisgazefollowedasparrowas
itflewacrossthepath.“MakesmethinkofthefirstMaiden—ifshedid
exist—andhowmanymorewerepotentiallydiscoveredthatwewillneverknow
about.AnditalsomakesmethinkaboutthetimeIwasheldby
Iresistedtheurgetoreachouttohimwithmysenses,
alreadyknowingwhatIwouldfind.
“Somewereyoung,justpastmaturity.Somewereolder,their
hairgrayandbodiesalreadybreakingdownwithage,”hesaidafterafew
moments.“Itriedtokeepcountofhowmanyhadbeenbroughtintomycage,but
I…Iwasn’tableto.Evenso,betweenMalikandme,Idon’tknowhowtherecould
beanymoreoutthere.”
IanhadbeenthelasttoAscend,andithadonlybeenhim.
Beforethat,ithadbeenseveralyearssincethelastAscension.Dreadsurged
throughme.Ascensionshadbeencarriedoutannuallyforseveralyears,but
thenthey’dallbutstoppedwhenIwasachild.Theimplicationsofthat
broughtforththeconcernI’dhadbefore.WhatifMalikwasnolongeralive?
KieranandCasteel
bothbelievedthatMaliklived,buttherewasnoevidenceofthat.AndIwanted
toknowifCasteelhadtrulyconsideredthat.Ibitdownonmylip.
“Youlooklikeyouwanttosaysomething,”heobserved.
Idid,buthowcouldIaskwhatIwanted?Ididn’tthinkI
should,soIsaidwhatIalsobelievedIneededtosay.“Youdidwhatyou
neededtodotosurvive.Ihopeyoutrulybelievethat.”
Casteeldidn’tanswer,andwhenIlookedoverathimandsaw
thevastemptinessinhisexpression,myheartached.BecauseIknew.
Iknewhedidn’t.
AndallIwantedinthatmomentwastobringwarmthbackto
him.“Istillwanttostabyou.”
Hisheadshotinmydirection.
“Justnotasfrequently,”Iamended.
Onesideofhislipscurledup,andthenhelaughed.The
soundwasroughandalittlehoarse,butitwasreal.“Iwouldbedisappointed
ifyoudidn’t.”
Ilookedforward,smiling.“Thatissuchaweirdstatement.”
“WhatcanIsay?Ihaveathingforwomenwithviolent
tendencies.”
“Thatdoesn’tsoundanybetter,”Isaid,eventhoughI
wonderedifSheahadbeenthatway.Pronetostabbinghimwhenshewasangry?I
wasn’tsosureaboutthat,consideringwhathe’dsaidIdeservedwhenthiswas
allover.Arelationshipwithnostabbingorpunching.Orkidnapping.
Ishovedthosethoughtsasidebeforetheycouldweighme
down.Wewerepretending,andthatmeanttherewasnofuture,evenifwe
couldn’tescapethepast.
Luckily,adistractionaroseafewmomentslater.Ridingout
ofthewoodedarea,IfinallysawwhatCasteelhadbuilt.
MygriploosenedonthesaddleasItookinapieceof
AtlantiahiddenawayinSolis.
StygianBayglistenedlikethedarkesthourofnighttoour
right.AheadofuswasatownthesizeofNewHaven.Yetagain,Iwasstruck
speechlessaswerodealongthedirtroad.Ionlyhalf-noticedthosewhoacknowledged
ourarrival,whoeitherbowedorcalledout.
One-storyhomesmadeofsandstoneandclaydottedthegently
rollinglandscape.Therehadtobearoundahundredofthem,andeachonewas
spacedouttoaccommodateprivate,curtainedterraces,andsmallgardens.Aswe
drewclosertothehomes,Icouldseethatthegardenswerefullofripe
tomatoesandtallstalksofcorn,cabbage,andothervegetablesplantedinneat
rows.TheonlyhomesinSolisthathadanylandbeyondapatchbarelylarge
enoughtogrowatreeweretheonesinplaceslikeRadiantRow.
“Mygods,”IwhisperedasIlookedaround.
“I’mhopingthat’sanexclamationofapproval,”Casteel
statedaswenearedthecrestofasmallhill.
“Itis.Thesehomes…Andthegardens?I’veneverseenanything
likeit.”
“Foodsupplyisfareasiertomanagewheneachhousehold
harvestsasmuchastheycan,”hesaid,drawingMollyclosertohimwhenthe
mareappearedtotakenoteofavivid,yellowbutterfly.“Allthegardenswere
plantedbyfarmerswhohaveexperiencewithcrops.Thosewhoagreedtosettle
inSpessa’sEndwererequiredtoapprenticewithfarmerstolearnhowtokeep
themhealthyandspotdisease.Withthetemperaturesrarelydroppingbelow
freezingatnight,we’reabletogrowsomeofthecropslongerthanplaces
farthernorth.”
InSolis,foodhadtobepaidfororgrown,butveryfewhad
thelandtogrowanything,whichmeantthatmanyspentthebulkoftheirincome
toacquirefood.Iftherewasnomoney,theresimplywasnothingtoeat.
Assoonaswereachedthetopofthehill,thescentofgrilled
meatreplacedthesweetlyscentedbreeze.ItwasthenthatIrealizedIhadn’t
trulyseenanythingyet.Thetowncenterlayinthevalleybetweenthehomes.
Therewereotherbuildings—largerthanthehouses,numerouscolumnedpavilions
adornedwithbrightcanopiesorcurtains,housingvariousmarkets.Therewerebusinesses—butchers,
seamstresses,blacksmiths,andbakers,andintheverycenterandraisedhigher
thananyoftheotherbuildingswastheruinsofwhathadoncebeenagreat
coliseum.Orsoitappeared.Onlyhalfofthestructureremained.
“Concertsandgameswereonceplayedthere,”Casteelsaid,
havingfollowedmygaze.“Iremembersittinginthoseseats,watchingplays.”
Thinkingofallthesoulsthathadoncefilledthemassive
coliseumtwistedmyheart.“Willitberepaired?”
“Idon’tknowyet,”headmittedaswetraveleddownthe
slopinghill.“Ineverwantedtotearitdown.It’sbecomeamonumentinaway,
areminderofwhatoncestoodhere.Perhapsonedaywewillrepairit.”
Thereweremorepeopleinthetowncenter,driftingbetween
thepavilionsandstalls.PretendingthathewasjustHawkeandIwasPoppy
endedasthepeopleeitherrushedforwardtogreetCasteelorlingeredback
untilotherspassedon.
TherewerewolvenandAtlantiansamongtheDescenters,and
outofthebluroffaces,Irealizedthatallofthemseemedgenuinelyhappyto
seeCasteel.Mostcalledhimbynameandnotbyhistitle,whichwassomething
nottoleratedinSolis.AllRoyalswereaddressedasLordorLady,andtonot
dosowasseenasgreatlydisrespectful,andworseyet,potentiallyasignof
beingaDescenter.
IwatchedCasteelashegrinnedorlaughedatsomething
someonesaid,askedaboutafamilymemberorfriend,seeminglyasfascinated
withthemasIhadbeenwiththeGuardians.Ismiledwhenheintroducedmeto
thosewhoapproached.Myfiancée.Myfiancée.Myfiancée.Ilistened
ashespoketomany,addressingthembyname,andhewasattentiveand
welcomingaswetraveledalong.Ifthiswasn’tanothermask—ifthiswaswhohe
waswithhispeople—hewasaPrincethatanyonewouldbehonoredtorule
beside.
Somethingnamelessandunknowninsideofmesoftenedand
thenopenedupevenasmysensesthrummedundermyskin,stretchingand
throbbinginresponsetothecycloneofconflictingemotionsspillingoutof
thecrowdandintotheairaroundme.
Inoticedthat,moreoftenthannot,thepeople’sreaction
tomewasfarmoresubdued.Smileswentfromwarmandgenuinetocoldand
tight.Welcomingglancesbecameonesofcuriosityorturnedblank.Somegazes
lingeredonthescarsforthebriefestofmomentswhileothersopenlystared.
Therewerequicklyavertedgazes,andmumbledgreetings.
EvenasIstruggledtokeepmysensesincheck—eventhoughI
knewthatmanyofthepeopleofAtlantiadidn’twelcomeme—Istartedpretending
again.
ButthistimehewasCasteel,andIwasPoppy,andhetrulywas
myPrince.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter28
“There’ssomeoneI’dlikeyoutomeet,”Casteelsaidaswe
rodepastthetowncenter,beyondthecrowdsofpeople.
Thetightnessinmychesteasedwiththecrowd’sdispersal,
butballsofnervousenergyformedinmystomach.Wouldthispersonbefriendly?
Wouldtheystare?
“Youokay?”heaskedasheguidedthehorsestoastopoutside
ofoneofthehomeswherevineswithtinypinkflowersclimbedtheterrace’s
latticework.
Inoddedasmygazeshifteduptheroad,drawnbytheclang
ofahammer.Homeswerebeingbuilt.Menwereontheroofs,theirskindamp
withsweat,andwomenrantoolsovertheexteriorwalls,smoothingouttheclay.
Ayoungwolvenlopedoutfromtheinsideofthehouse,
dancingaroundthewomen’slegs,tailwagging.Rememberingwhatwassaidthe
nightbeforeaboutnotmanyyoungbeinghere,IfigureditwasBeckett.Agrintugged
atmylipsashenudgedaspadewithhisnose,rollingittowardoneofthe
women.
Casteeldismountedasthedoortothehouseopenedwider.
Kieranstrodeout,hisbrowsrisinguponseeingmeastridemyownhorse.
BeforeIcouldevenfeelembarrassmentoverwhathad
happenedthismorning,heopenedhismouth.“Deargods,youhaveheronherown
horse?Soon,she’llberunningoneofusoverinsteadofstabbingus.”
Myeyesnarrowed.“Thisiswhoyouwantedmetomeet?”I
asked.“Notsureifyourealizethisornot,butI’mwellawareofwhoheis.”
Casteellaughedashecametomyside.“It’snothimIwant
youtomeet.”HeheldMollysteady.“Youwanttodismountonyourown?”
Inodded,risinganddrawingonelegupandoverthesaddle.
Iloweredmyselftotheground,nowherenearasgracefully,butIdidit.
Kieranapplauded.“Goodjob.”
“Shutup.”
ThewolvenlaughedasoneoftheworkerscalledoutCasteel’s
name.
Casteellookedover,squinting.Hetouchedmylowerback.
“I’llberightback.”
InoddedasIturnedtoMolly,scratchingherbehindtheear
asIwatchedCasteeljogtowardthehouse.
“Bytheway,”Kieran
approachedme,“Ihopeyou’renotembarrassedaboutthismorning.”
“I’mnotembarrassed,”Iwhispered.
“You’renot?”Hesoundeddoubtful.”“Youwon’tlookatme.”
“Iwasjustlookingatyouafewmomentsago.”
“Onlybecauseyouwantedtodoviolentandterriblethings
tome.”
Ismiledbecausethatwastrue.
“Youlooklikeyouwanttodothatnow.”
Browsraised,Ilookedathim.“Happy?I’mlookingatyou
now.”
Ahalf-grinappeared.“Yes,butyourfaceisasredasa
tomato.”
“Whatever,”Imuttered.
“Andyoustilllooklikeyouwanttomurderme.”
Isighed.
HeadjustedMolly’shalterashesaid,“Youknowwhatyou
feltduringthefeedingandwhatsurelycameafterwardisonlynatural.”
“Thanks,butIdon’tneedyoutotellmethis.”
“Thenmaybeyouwouldlikesomeadvice?”
“Notreally.”
“I’mgoingtogiveittoyouanyway.”
“Ofcourse,youare.”
“Ifyouwishforfuturefeedings—andI’msureyourealize
therewillbefutureones—tobelessintimate,youcouldofferhimyourwrist.”
IspuntowardKieran.“Well,thatinformationissovery
helpfulnow.”
Kieranlaughed,notevenbotheringtomoveoutoftheway
whenIpunchedhisarm.
“Ouch,”hemurmured.“Thatwasactuallyhard.”
“DoIevenwanttoknowwhyyoujusthitKieran?”Casteel
askedasherejoinedus.
Kieran’seyeslitasheopenedhismouth—
“No,”Ijumpedin,shootingKieranalookthatpromised
deathifhespokeasCasteelcametostandbesideme.“Youdonot.”
Grinning,Kieranbackedup.“Whenhassheeverneededareason
tobeviolent?”
“Goodpoint.”Casteelglanceddownatme,onesideofhis
lipsquirking.Thedamndimplewinkedintoexistence.“IguessIshouldbegrateful
thatshedidn’tstabyou.”
“There’salwayslater,”Imuttered.
Athroaty,femininelaughsnappedmyheadaround.“You’re
right,Kieran.Ilikeher.”
Standingbarefootintheterrace’sdoorwaywasastunning
womandressedinblackleggingsandabrightyellow,sleevelesstunicthatfit
thecurveofherhipsandchest.Goldencuffsencircledherwristsandupper
arms.Herjet-blackhair,braidedinnarrow,tightrows,nearlyreachedher
waist.Thepale,wintryblueeyeswereastrikingcontrasttoskinasbeautiful
astherichblackofthenight-bloomingroses.Therewassomevaguefamiliarity
abouttheslantofhercheeksandtheshapeofherbrow,butIknewI’dnever
metthefemalewolvenbefore.
“BecausesheinsinuatedthatIcouldbestabbedlater?”
Kieranmuttered.“Shocker.”
Oh,gods,Ireallyneededtostoptalkingaboutstabbingpeople.
Thewomanlaughed.“Ofcourse.”Shesteppedoutofthe
doorway,hergazeflickingtoCasteel.“Whyareyoustandingtheresoquiet?”
“Iamnotinterruptingyou.”Casteelhelduphishands.“The
lasttimeIdid,youknockedmeonmyass.”
Iblinked.
“ThatisnotwhyIknockedyouonyourass,”shereplied.“I
don’texactlyrememberwhyIdidit,butI’msureitwasbecauseyoudid
somethingtodeserveit.”
Thecornersofmylipsturnedup.
“Sincebothofthemhavenomanners,I’llintroducemyself.I’m
Vonetta,buteveryonecallsmeNetta.I’mKieran’ssister.”
Shockrippledthroughme.“Youhaveasister,”Iblurted
out.
Vonettashotherbrotheralook.“Wow,Kieran.”
“Hey,CasteelneversaidIhadoneeither.”
“Don’tdragmeintothis,”Casteelremarked.
“Myfeelingsarehurt,andIamthebabyofthefamily.My
feelingsshouldneverbehurt,”shetossedoverhershoulder.“Iexpectan
extrabatchofthecandiedfruit.”
“AssoonasIhaveanhourtomakesome,Iwill.”
“Youhavehadplentyofhourstodosoalready.”Facingme,
sheextendedahand.Hernailswerepaintedayellowasbrilliantashertunic.
“I’mPenellaphe,”Isaid,takingherhand.Themomentour
skintouched,hereyeswidened.“Didyoujustfeelsomethingweird?”
“Yeah.Likeastaticcharge,”sheansweredasCasteelmoved
incloser.Sheletgoofmyhand.“That’sstrange.”
“Coultonfeltthesamething,”Casteelsaid.
“AndIfeltsomethinglikethatbackinNewHaven,”Kieran
remindedme.
“That’sright.”Iclaspedmyhandstogether.“I’dforgotten.”
“Well,I’mkindofoffendednow,”hemuttered.
“Doyoufeelanythinglikethat?”IaskedCasteel,recalling
asimilarfeelingafewtimeswe’dtouched.
“Ihave,”hesaid,headtiltedasheexaminedmeclosely,
likeIwasastrangenewspecies.“Ithoughtitwasmyimagination.”
“I’vefeltitwhenI’vetouchedyou.”Iturnedbacktothe
siblings.“ButIdidn’tfeelanythingnoworwhenCoultonorKieranfeltsomething
earlier.”
“Apparently,we’renotasspecialasCasteel,”Vonetta
commented.
“Youshould’vealreadyknownthat,”hereplied.
Sheshothimalook.“Yousayingsomethinglikethatwas
probablywhyIknockedyouonyourassthelasttime.”
Ilaughed.“Ilikeher.”
“Ofcourse,youdo.”Casteelsighedasheplacedhishandon
myback.ButwhenIlookedupathim,hehadthatlooktohimagain.Likehe’d
losthisbreath.Swallowing,helookedoveratKieran’ssister.“Areyougoing
toinviteusin?”
“Areyougoingtobelessannoying?”
“Probablynot,butsinceI’myourPrince….”
“Whatever.Fine.”Thenshesmiled.“Comein.Ijustfinished
makingsandwiches.”
Thelivingareawasaround,cozyareafullofcolor.Thick
sky-bluefloorcushionscircledalow-to-the-groundwhitetable.Brightorange
anddeeppurplethrowpillowscoveredablacksettee.Thebreezeletinbythe
openwindowsandterracedoorslazilyturnedthebladesofaceilingfan.A
stackofbooksonanendtablebythesetteesnaggedmyattentionasCasteel
tuggedmedownontooneofthecushionsonthefloorwhileVonettaandKieran
disappearedthrougharoundedarchway.
“Islemonadefine?”Vonetta’svoicecarriedoutfromthe
otherroom.“Kieranmadeit,soit’smoresweetthansour.”
Casteelglancedatme,andwhenInodded,hecalledout,
“That’sperfect.”
Afewmomentslater,Kieranreturnedcarryingfourglasses,
whichheplacedonthetablebeforedroppingontothecushionontheotherside
ofCasteel.
“Thankyou,”Isaid,pickingupthecoolglass.Icecubes
clinkedtogether,andIrealizedtheremustbeacoldroomunderground
somewheresincethereappearedtobenoelectricityrunninginSpessa’sEnd
yet.
“Don’tbepolite,”Kieranremarked.“Itweirdsmeout.”
IcrackedagrinatthatasItookasip.Thesweetandsour
mixwasperfect.“Thisisactuallyreallygood.”
“Kieranisamasteratmakingdrinks,”Casteelshiftedback
ononearm,leaningslightlyintomyshoulder.“Especiallythekindinvolving
alcohol.”
“Amanmusthavehistalents.”
“Evenifsaidtalentsaregenerallyuseless,”Vonetta
commentedassheentered,carryingasilvertrayloadedwithsandwichescut
intonarrowstripsandalargebowlofstrawberriesdustedwithsugar.
“I’llrememberthatthenexttimeyouaskmetomakeyoua
drink,”Kieranreplied.
Vonettasnortedasshesatbesideme.“Ihopeyoulike
cucumbersandwiches.Otherthancoldcuts,it’stheonlysandwichIcan
manage.”
“They’reoneofmyfavorites.Thankyou,”Isaid,picking
oneup.“Andit’stheonlysandwichI’veevermade,actually.”
“Really?”Casteelasked,handingmeoneofthenapkinsfrom
thetray.
Inodded.“Iwasn’t
allowedtocookortolearnhow,butIdidsneakintothekitchenssometimes
andwatch,”Iadmitted,andthenfeltsillythemomentthewordshadleftmy
mouth.IhadnoideahowmuchVonettaevenknewaboutmypast.Heatcreptupmy
throatasIsatbackalittle,distancingmyselffromCasteel.Iquicklyshoved
halfthesandwichintomymouth.
“Kierantoldmealittlebitofwhatitwaslikeforyou,”Vonetta
said,hertonesoft.“Buthonestly,thenotbeingallowedtolearnhowtocook
partsoundsamazing.”
IglancedupatherinconfusionasCasteelreclaimedthe
shortdistancethatseparatedus.Hisarmpressedtomineashereachedfora
sandwichandthenremainedthere.
“Idon’tmeanthenothavingachoicepart.Thatsoundsterrible.
Thatisterrible.”Shetookadrinkoflemonade.“ButifIdidn’thave
tolearn,thenI’dhaveanexcuseforwhyI’mhorribleatcooking.Ourpoor
motherspentmanymoonsattemptingtoteachmehowtobakebread.I’drather
sharpenaswordthankneadyeast.Ofcourse,Momexcelsequallyatboth.”
“AsdoI.”Kierangrinned,andhissisterrolledhereyes.
“SoundslikeyouandPoppyhavethatincommon,”Casteel
said,wipinghisfingersonthenapkin.Itsaidsomethingabouthisrelationship
withKieran’ssisterthathe’dcalledmethatinfrontofher.“Shealsohasa
fondnessforsharp,deadlyobjects.”
“Ido,”Iconfirmed.
Vonettagrinned.“Yetanotherreasontolikeyou,”shesaid.
“So,whatdoyouthinkofSpessa’sEndsofar?”
Finishingoffthelastofthesandwich,Ithentoldherhow
Ihadn’tbeenawareofwhathadhappenedtoPompayandSpessa’sEnd.“I’m
amazedbywhathasbeendonehere—thehomesaresomuchnicerthanwhatmost
peoplehaveinSolis.Andthegardens?Thereisnothinglikethatthere.After
seeingPompay,Iexpectednothingbutruins.”
“Solissoundslikeareallycruddyplace,”shestated.
Casteelsnorted.“Understatementoftheyear,Netta.”
“Thereareniceparts,butsoveryfewpeoplehaveaccessto
them.”Ipickedupaplumpstrawberry.“Andtherearegoodpeoplethere.Scared
individualswhodon’tknowanyotherwaytolivethanwhattheywereborn
into.”
Shenoddedasshebrushedseveralbraidsbackoverher
shoulder.“Hopefully,thatchangessoon.”
Iagreed,andtheconversationmovedonfromthere.Casteel
askedaboutKieranandVonetta’sparents.Ilearnedthathermotherwasnamed
KirhaandthatVonettaplannedtotravelhometoseethemsoon.Theirmother
hadabirthdaycomingup.Theytalkedabouthowmanynewhomestheyfeltwould
becompletedinthenextcoupleofmonths,andVonettamentionedafewpeople
thatsheknewwereinterestedinsettlinghere.Sheaskedaboutthepotential
forelectricity,whichledtoaconversationaboutpowergridsandlinesthatsounded
likeadifferentlanguagetome.IlearnedthatVonetta’sroleinSpessa’sEnd
waslikeoneofaRiseGuard,andthewayVonettaandCasteeltradedinsults
madeitclearthatthethreeofthemhadgrownuptogether.Thefriendshipbetween
themwassoreal,thatitmademefiercelyyearnforthesamething—mademe
thinkofTawny.ShewouldloveKieran’ssister.
VonettathenaskedabouthowI’dlearnedtofight,and
minutestickedaway,thesandwichesdisappeared,andthroughouttheafternoon,
therewasnevermorethanafewminuteswheresomepartofCasteel’sbody
wasn’tincontactwithmine.Whetheritwashisarmrestingagainstmineorhis
knee,orhimmessingwithmyhair,tuckingitbehindmyear,orfixingthe
sleevesonmyborrowedtunic.Theconstantcontact,thesmalltoucheshereand
there,madeitalltooeasytoforgetthatwewerepretending
Anditwashardnottonotice,atleastforme,how
differentVonettawastowardmecomparedtotheothers.Itcouldbebecauseshe
wasKieran’ssisterandCasteel’sfriend,butthewolveningeneralhadentirely
differentreactionstowardme.Theyweren’tdistrustful,andwhileIdidbriefly
openmysensestoVonettawhenIcaughtherstaringatmestrangely,allIfelt
fromherwascuriosity.
“So,thewholestaticchargething,”Vonettabroughtbackup
afterKieranhadclearedthetable.“Iwanttoseeifithappensagain.”
Mybrowslifted,butIwasalsocurious.Iextendedmyhand,
andamomentlater,Vonettaplacedherpalmflattomine.Shefrownedslightly.
“Doyoufeelanything?”
“No.”Shesoundeddisappointed.
“Ionlyfeltitonce,”Kieranremarked,lettinganarm
dangleoverabentknee.“Actually,cometothinkofit.Whatdoesshesmell
liketoyou?”
Idrewmyhandback,twistingtowardKieran.“That’sright.
YousaidIsmelledlikeadeadperson.”
“Ididn’tsayyousmelledlikeadeadperson,”hecountered.
“Isaidyousmelledofdeath.”
“Howisthatdifferent?”Idemanded.
“That’sagoodquestion.”Casteelturnedhishead,brows
lifting.“You’rereallysmellingher,aren’tyou,Netta?”
IlookedtofindVonetta’sheadclosetomine.“Pleasedon’t
sayIsmellofdeath.”
“Youdon’t.”Shedrewback.“Butthereisauniquescentto
you.”Herdarkbrowsknittedtogether.“Yousmell…old.”
“Um.”Ishifteduncomfortably.“I’mnotsureifthat’sany
better.”
Casteeldippedhishead,andIfeltthebridgeofhisnose
alongthesideofmyneck.“Youdon’tsmelllikethattome,”hemurmured,and
ashivercurleditswaydownmyspine.“Yousmelllikehoneydew.”
Oh,mygods….
“I’mnotsayingshesmellslikemothballsandstale
peppermintcandy,”Vonettasaid,andKieranlaughed.“It’sjust…Idon’tknow
howtoexplainwhatImean.”
“IthinkIunderstand.”Casteelsatback.
“Youdo?”Iquestioned.
Henodded.“Yourbloodtastesoldtome—oldinawaythat
it’srich.Powerfulforsomeonewhoisnotfull-bloodedAtlantian.It’s
probablythebloodline.”
Vonettatiltedherhead.“Andwhatkindof—?”
Asudden,loudcrashfromoutsideinterruptedus.Shoutsof
alarmrangout,andallthreeofthemwereontheirfeetinamatterof
seconds.
“Soundslikethatcamefromupthestreetwherethehousesare
beingworkedon,”VonettasaidasIrosetomyfeet.Casteelwasalreadyout
theterracedoors,Kieranfollowingquicklybehindhim.
Itrailedthemoutintothelate-afternoonsun.Wedidn’t
havetogofar.Alastirrusheddownthedirt-packedroad,carryingthelimp
formofasmallwolven.
Beckett
Ialreadyknewhewasinpain.Icouldfeelitpinging
againstmyskin,hotandsharp.Iswallowedhard.
“Whathappened?”Casteeldemanded.
“Beckettwasbeing—well,hewasbeingBeckett.”Alastir’s
facewaspaleashegentlylaidhisnephewdowninapatchofgrass.The
wolven’sgrowlendedinawhimper.“Apieceoftheroofcollapsed,andhe
couldn’tmoveoutofthewayquickenough.”
“Shit,”Casteelgrunted,kneelingbesideBeckett.
EmilappearedbehindAlastir.“WhereistheHealer?”
“Taliaisinthetrainingfields,”amortalwomansaid.“Someone
wasinjuredduringpractice.”
“Goandsummonher.Tellhertocomeassoonasshecan,”
Casteelorderedoneofthewolven.Themantookoff,shiftingintohiswolven
forminablurofspeed.“It’sokay,Beckett.We’regettinghelp.”
Beckett’schestroseandfellrapidly,andhismouthhungopen.
Thewhitesofhiseyeswerestarkagainsthisdarkfur.Mysensesstretchedand
pushedatmyskin,andItensed,tryingtopreparemyselfasIopenedup.Burning,
acutepainrolledthroughtheconnection,stealingmybreath.Itwasthrobbing
andendless,paintingthesoftgrassinshadesofredandsoakingtheskyin
embers.Thiswasdefinitelynominorhurt.
“Ithinkhisbacklegsarebroken,”Alastirsaid,hishands
tremblingasheplacedthemontheground.“Heneedstoshift.Heneedstodo
itnow.”
“Oh,no,”Vonettawhispered.
“Ifhedoesn’t,theboneswillstarthealingbeforewecan
straightenthem.”
“Iknow,”CasteelsaidasIseveredtheconnectionbefore
hisphysicalpainoverwhelmedme.“Beckett,youhavetoshift.Iknowithurts,
butyouhavetoshift.”
Theyoungwolvenwhimperedasheshuddered.
“He’sintoomuchpain.”IsteppedaroundVonetta.
“He’stooyoung,”Kieransaidinalowvoice,tonooneinparticular.
“Hewon’tbeabletodoit.”
Mygifthummed,demandingtobeusedasitguidedmetoward
thewolven.Myfingerstingledwiththeurge.Vonettacaughtmyarm.“Don’tget
tooclose,Penellaphe.”Concerncloudedherpaleeyes.“Aninjuredwolvenisa
verydangerousone,nomatterhowyoung.”
“It’sokay.Icanhelphim.”Isteppedtotheside,slipping
freeofhergripasIsearchedoutCasteel’sgaze.“Icanhelphim.”
Casteelwasstillforahalfasecondandthennodded.“Come
tohisback.Besidemeandawayfromthoseteeth.”
AwareofKieranshadowingmystepsandusgainingan
audience,Iloweredtomyknees.Beckett’srearlegsweretwistedatawful,
unnaturalangles.Beckettgrowled,liftinghisheadandkickingoutwithhis
frontleg,bothweakattemptstowarnusoff,butIknewhecouldstrikealot
morequickly.
“Canyoudoit?”Alastirwhispered.“WhatyoudidinNew
Haven?”
Inodded.
“Ifyoucanhelphimandhe’sabletoshift,”Casteelspoke
lowandfast,“that’llmakeitsomucheasierforTalia.”
“Okay,”IsaidasCasteelangledhisbodysohewouldhave
togothroughhimfirstifthewolvenreared.“I’mnotgoingtohurtyou,
Beckett.Ipromise.”
Lipspeeledback,revealingcaninessharpenoughtopierce
skinandstrongenoughtocrunchbones.ItriednottothinkofthatasI
placedmyhandonhisback.OpeningmyselfupagainsoIcouldmonitorhispain,
Iswallowedbackthebilecrowdingmythroat.Hispain…itmademewanttothrow
up.Istartedtodrumupwarm,happymemories—
Something…somethingdifferenthappenedthemomentmy
fingerssankintoBeckett’ssoftfur.
Thetinglingsensationinmypalmsrampedupasifstatic
dancedovermyskin,andmyhandsheated.Thewolventwitched,whimpering
quietlyasamutedglowappearedbetweenmyfingers,peekingthroughthestrands
offurbeforewashingovermyhands.
Mylipsparted.“Uh…”
“That’snotnormal,”Casteelobserved,adarkeyebrow
raised.“Right?”
Outofthecornerofmyeyes,IregisteredEmil’smouthdrop
open.Isawthesamereactionfrommostofthosearoundus.Alastirrocked
backward,palingevenfurtherashestaredatme.Whispersandgaspsechoed
aroundme.
“Well,”IheardVonettasay.“Ithinkyouforgottotellme
something,Kieran.”
Idon’tknowwhatKieransaidinresponse.IheardCasteel
whispermyname,butIshookmyheadasBeckett’sheadloweredtothegrass.I
couldfeelhispainlessening.“It’sworking,butI’veneverseenitdothis
before.”
“Youmeanyou’veneverseenyourhandsglow?”heasked.
“Liketwinstars?”
“They’renotglowingthatbrightly,”Idenied.
“Yeah,theykindofare,”Kieranmurmured,andEmilnodded
whenIlookedup.
“Okay.Whatever,”Imuttered.Myhandswereglowingbrightly
now.“I’llfreakoutoverthatlater.”
Beckett’sbreathingsteadied,andthewhitesofhiseyesbecame
lessvisible.
“Sweetgodsofmercy,”someonemurmured.
“Princess?”
“Hmm?”IfocusedonBeckett.Emotionalpainwasharderto
cutthroughandwhateverreleaseIbroughtwasincrediblyshort-lived,but
physicalpaintooklongertoease.Ibelievedithadtodowithallthe
importantnervesandveins,andphysicalpainalmostalwayscarriedan
emotionalanguishwithit,especiallyifitwasasintenseasitwasfor
Beckett.Easinghispainwastwo-fold,butthethrobbingwasdulling,becoming
littlemorethananache.Heonlyneededafewmoremoments.
“Poppy,”Casteelcalled,andthistime,Ilookedoverat
him.Sunlightglintedoffthecurveofhischeekashisgazesweptoverme,
aroundme.“You’reglowing.Notjustyourhands.You.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter29
Goodgods,Iwas
Asilveryglowradiatedoutfromunderthesleevesofmy
tunic.
“Youlooklikemoonlight,”Casteelwhispered,anditwasn’t
thesunlightreflectingoverhischeek.Itwasme.
Thefurthinnedundermyfingers,replacedbyclammyskinas
Beckettshiftedintohismortalform.Iliftedmyhands,rockingbackonmy
rearasVonettasweptforward,drapingablanketshemust’vegrabbedoverthe
boy’swaist.Hislegs…theywereamottled,angryshadeofredandviolet,but
theywerestraightandnolongertwisted.
AidedbyAlastir,Beckettsatup,hispale,sweat-slickface
quicklygainingcolor.Someonewastalking.MaybeCasteelaskingifhewerein
pain?Beckettdidn’tanswerashestaredatme,eyesaswideassaucers.
“AmIstillglowing?”Myhandsweren’t,butmaybemyface
was?Becauseitfeltlikeeveryonewasstaringatme.
CasteelshookhisheadandthenlookeddownatBeckett.“I
think…Ithinkyouhealedhislegs.”
“No.”Iglanceddownatmyhands—atmynormal,flesh-toned
palms.“Ican’tdothat.”
“Butyoudid,”Casteelinsisted.
Beckettstillstaredatme.SodidAlastir.AndEmil.And
everyoneelse.
“Ican’t,”Irepeated.
“Canyoumoveyourlegs?”Kieranasked,andwhenBeckett
continuedtodonothingbutstare,thewolvenleanedovermeandsnappedhis
fingers.“Beckett.Focus.Canyoumoveyourlegs?”
Theyoungwolvenblinkedasifhewerewakingupfroma
spell.Hedrewhisleftlegup,wincing,butthenextendeditwithlittle
trouble.Thenherepeateditwiththeright.“I…Icanmovethem.There’spain
butnothinglikebefore.Thankyou.”Astoundedeyesmetmine.“Idon’tknowhow
torepayyou.Thankyou.”BeforeIcouldtellhimtherewasnoneedfor
repayment,hetwistedatthewaisttowardthePrince.“I’msorry.Ididn’tmean
forthistohappen.It’snotanyone’sfault.Iwasn’tpayingattention—”
“It’sallright.”Casteelplacedhishandontheboy’sslim
shoulder.“Youdon’tneedtoapologize.You’reokay,andthat’sallthatmatters.”
“Iknow.”Hiseyesglistenedashefoughtbackemotion.“I
should’ve—”
“Youhavenothingtoapologizefor,”Casteelrepeated.
Beckettexhaledroughlyashefistedtheblanketlyingoverhim.
Hebenthisleftlegoncemore,suckinghislipbetweenhisteeth.Maybehis
legshadn’tbeenasinjuredaswethoughttheywere.
CasteelrockedbackashisgazeflickedfrommetoAlastir.
“Youthinkyoucangethimtothetrainingfields?Youcantakeoneofourhorses.
IwantTaliatolookathim.”
Alastirblinked,dragginghisgazefromme.“Ofcourse.”
SlidinganarmunderBeckett’sshoulders,Emilhelpedhim
stand.Hetookatentativestepwhileholdingthecloaktohismidsection,
smilinginreliefwhenhislegsheldhisweight.
“Thankyou,”Alastirsaidtome.
Icouldonlynod.“Idon’tthinkhewasasbadlyhurtaswe
thought.”
“Yes,”Alastirsaid,buthedidn’tsoundlikehebelieved
me.
Risingthen,Casteelturnedtotheothers.“Beckettwillbe
fine.TheHealerwilltakealookathim.”
Thepeople,amixtureofwolven,Atlantian,andmortal
nodded,buttherewasathicknesstotheair,anditsettledovermyskinlike
acoarseblanket.Ididn’tdarelookupasCasteelusheredthegroupaway.It
waspalpable.Thecrowd’semotions.Rawandunfettered.Iclosedmyeyes,
tremblingwiththeeffortittooktokeepmysenseslockeddown,butitwasno
use.Isplitopen,andthewhirlofspinningemotionspouredintome.Shock.
Confusion.Awe.Moreshock.Somethingextremelybitter.Fear.Why
wouldanyonefearme?
“Poppy.”Casteeltouchedmyshoulder,joltingme.“Areyou
allright?”
Iopenedmyeyes,lettingoutaraggedbreathofreliefwhen
Inoticedthatitwasjusthim—himandKieranandVonetta.Ididn’tdarelook
toofar.IfIdid,Iwouldneverbeabletoclosemyselfdown.
“Youreallyleftsomeprettybigdetailsoutwhenyoutold
meabouther,”Vonettasaid,andIalmostlaughedathowannoyedshesounded.
“I…Idon’tknowhowthathappened—howIhealedhimorstarted
glowing.”IcranedmynecktolookbackatVonetta.“Icanrelievepeople’spain
withmytouch,butonlytemporarily.”
“Andyoucanreademotions,”shesaid,obviouslyknowing
enoughaboutmybloodline.“You’reanempath.”
InoddedandlookedtowhereCasteelkneltbesideme.Hewas
lookingoverhisshouldertowheretheothershadgonebacktothehouse.“But
I’veneverdonethatbefore,”Isaid,andCasteelfacedme.“Ihonestlydon’t
thinkhewasasbadlyhurtaswefeared.”
“Hislegswerecompletelybroken,”Vonettasaid.“Theywere
smashedandtwisted.”
“I…”Ishookmyhead.“That’simpossible.”
“It’sreallynot.Theempathscouldheal.”
“Didtheyglow?”
“NotthatIknowof,”Vonettasaid.“Buttheywereallgone
beforeIwasborn.”
“Itcouldbethe
Culling.”Casteel’sbrowsknittedasheplacedahandonthegrass.“Andyou’re
onlandthathasbeenreclaimedasAtlantia.You’reonAtlantiansoil.That
couldimpactyourabilities.”Hiseyesmetmine.“Anditcouldbemyblood.
WhatI’vegivenyoustaysinyou.”
Ileanedforward,keepingmyvoicelow.“Yourbloodis
makingmeglow?”
Hislipstwitched.“Idon’tthinkmybloodisthesole
reasonwhyyouglowedlikemoonlight.”
“It’snotfunny,”Isnapped.
“I’mnotlaughing.”
“You’retryingnottolaugh,”Iaccused.“Don’tevendeny
it.”
Casteellaughedthen,holdinguphishands.“It’sjustyou
look…adorablyconfused,andnowyoulookadorablyviolent.”
Ishookmyheadathim.“Thereissomethingsowrongwith
you.”
HearchedabrowandthenlookedtowhereKieranandVonetta
stood.“CanoneofyoucheckonBeckett?Seehowhe’sdoing?”
“Ofcourse,”KieranansweredasIpushedtomyfeet.
“I’llgowithyou,”hissistersaid,givingmealittle
wave.“I’mgoingtohavesomanyquestionsforyoulater.”
Ihadmanyformyself.
Iwatchedthemstartdowntheroadandthenturnedto
Casteel.Beyondhim,Isawthattheothershadreturntorepairingthesection
oftheroofthathadfallen.“Theywerescaredofme.Notallofthembutsome.
Icouldfeelit.”
Casteel’slasheswerelowered,shieldinghiseyesashe
lookeddownatme.
“RememberAlastirbeingconcernedaboutwhatsomeoftheolder
AtlantianswouldthinkiftheyrealizedwhatbloodlineIdescendedfrom?”
“Ido.”Hetookmyhand,leadingmetowherehishorse
remained.
“DotheythinkI’m—whatdidhesaysomecalledtheempaths?”
“SoulEaters.”
Ishudderedatthename,pullingmyhandfreefromhis.“Is
thatwhattheythinkIam?ThatI’mfeedingoffpain?”Ortheirfearcould’ve
stemmedfromthefactthatI’dliterallyglowed.Iwouldalsobe
concernedifIsawthat.“DidyoueverthinkthatwhenyoulearnedthatIcould
easethepainofothers?ThatIwasthis—thisSoulEaterthing?”
“Notonce.”Heturnedtomeagain.“SoulEatersarepractically
onparwithalamaeaatthispoint.Ididn’teventhinkyouwere
half-Atlantianthen,remember?”
Isearchedhisface,buttherewasnothinghiddeninhis
expressionorhisunflinchinggaze.“Idon’tknowhowanyofthathappened,”I
admittedasIturnedtoTeddy,strokingthehorse’sside.“Normally,Ihaveto
thinkaboutsomethinghappytochannelthatfeelingintoothers.Butthistime,
allittookwasformetoplacemyhandsonBeckett.Myskintingledmorethan
normal,andmyhandsheated,butthatwasallthatwasdifferent.”
“Whenwasthelasttimeyouusedyourgiftinthatway?”He
caughtapieceofmyhair,tuckingitback.
“Itwas…whenIhealedthepeopleinNewHaven.Thatwasthe
lasttime.”
“Andnowyou’retechnicallyonAtlantiansoil.”Hestood
besideme,restinghisarmsonthesaddle.He’drolledupthesleevesofhis
shirt,andthedustingofdarkhairalonghistanforearmsseemedscandalous.
“Idon’tknowifit’sthatortheCulling,buttherecouldbemorechanges.”
Ireallyhopedthosechangesdidn’tinvolveglowinganyother
colors.“Maybehislegsweren’tevenbroken—”
“Hislegsweremostdefinitelybroken.Yousawthem.”
Isteppedbackfromthehorse,foldingmyarmsovermywaist
asIstaredatthelightbluecurtainsripplingoutfromtheterraceacrossthe
street.“YourpeoplealreadydislikemebecauseIwastheMaiden.Andnow
they’regoingtothinkI’maSoulEater.Ireallydon’tthinkmarryingmeis
goingtochangethat.”
“Thepeoplejusthaven’tseenanythinglikethatbefore.They
needtimetogrowusedtoit,andtheywillacceptyou,”hesaid.“Idothink
youshouldholdoffonusingyourabilities,though—”
“I’mnotgoingtohide.”Imethisstarewithanequally
hardone.“I’mnotgoingtoignorethoseinpain—peopleIcanhelp.Iwon’tdo
that.”
“I’mnotaskingyoutohideyourabilities.”Hedrewhis
armsfromthesaddle.“AllI’maskingisthatyouholdoffuntilweunderstand
more.Useyourabilitieswhenthereisn’tacrowdtowitnessit.Thatway,we
controlthenarrative.”
Mystomachtumbled.“Isthereanarrativeweneedtocontrol?”
“Thereisalwaysanarrative.”Hedraggedhishairbackfrom
hisfacewithhisfingers.Theunrulywavesimmediatelytoppledoverhis
forehead.“WhatyoudidforBeckettwasnothingshortofamazing,”hebitout,
shiftingthetopic.“Ihopeyouknowthat.”
Mybrowsinchedupmyforehead.“Youdon’tsoundlikeyou’re
amazed.Yousoundangry.”
“That’sbecausethedamnSoulEaterthingisovershadowing
thefactthatyouhealedbrokenboneswithyourtouch.”Hesteppedin
closertome,apredatoryintenttohisstare.“Idon’tthinkyouunderstand
whatyoudidforthatboy.”
“IknowwhatIdid.”Iunfoldedmyarms.“I…Ihealedhim.”
“Youdidn’tdoonlythat.”Hetookanotherstep,hiseyesnow
likechipsofamber.
Heartthumping,Ibackedupagainstthewarmclayandstone
ofVonetta’shouse.“Ididn’t?”
Placinghishandsoneithersideofmyhead,heleanedin.
“Ifawolvensuffersabrokenbone,theymustimmediatelyshifttoprevent
permanentdamagetothebone,thenerves,andthesofttissue.Theyhave
minutestoshift,andhewasalreadyatthatpointordamnnearclosetoit.”
“Okay?”Iwhispered,wonderingwhyhestillsounded
frustrated.
“Hewould’velosthislegs,Poppy.Youpreventedthat.”
“Thenwhydoyousoundangrywithme?”Idemanded.
“I’mnot,”hegrowled.
“Yousureaboutthat?”
“Onehundredpercentsure.”
“Areyou…hungryagain?”Iasked,eventhoughhiseyes
remainednormal,andIknewhedidn’tneedbloodyet.
“Notforblood.”Hedippedhisheadthen,andalltheair
fledmylungs.Hismouthwasamereinchfrommine.
Washegoingtokissme?
Peoplecouldseeus.Peoplecouldalreadybewatching.But
theintensityinhisstaretoldmethatwasn’tthepoint.Whateverhefelt
wasn’tforshow.
“Idon’tthinkyouknowyourownfeelings.”Iflattenedmy
palmsagainstthewarmstoneandclay.
“Ifyouopenyoursensestomerightnow,you’llknow
exactlywhatI’mfeeling.Doit.”
“Idon’twantto.”
“Why?”Hiswarmbreathdancedacrossmypartedlips.
“BecauseIdon’twantto.”Aflutterstartedinmychest.
“Orisitbecauseyoudon’twanttoknowthatit’staking
everythinginmenottoruinyetanotherpairofyourpantsbyrippingthemoff
andfuckingyousohardthatdaysfromnow,you’llstillbeabletofeelthe
extentofmygratitude.”
Myeyesneverfeltbigger.Thesharp,swiftcurllowinmy
stomachneverfeltmorereckless,moredemanding,morealive
Iswallowed—swallowedhard.“Thatseemslikeanoddwayto
thankme.”
Hedroppedhisforeheadtomine.“It’stheonlywayIknow
how.”
“Asimplethankyouwouldsuffice.”
“No.Itwouldnot.”
Icouldn’tthinkofwhattosay,eventhoughtherewasalot
Ishould.Westoodthereforseveralmoments,andatanytime,ifeitherofus
turnedourheadsjusttheslightest,ourlipswouldhavemet.AndI…
IthoughtIwouldbelost.
Ormaybefound.
CasteelshudderedasasoundIwassureawolvencouldmake
rumbledthroughhim.Everymuscleinmetenseddeliciously,buthesteppedback
ashetookmyhand.Withoutsayinganotherword,heledmetothehorseand
hoistedmeontothesaddle.
Oncehesettledbehindme,hefoldedhisarmaroundmy
waist.“AsmuchasIwishwecouldspendtherestofthedaypretending,”hesaid
ashislipsbrushedalongmyjaw.“There’ssomethingwemustdiscuss.”
Drawinginadeep,steadyingbreath,Inodded.“Aboutour
future?”
“CanIpointoutthatIlikehowyousay,‘ourfuture?’”
“Iwouldpreferthatyounot,butsinceyoualreadyhave,I
assumethat’sayes?”
“Itis.”Casteelguidedtheoldermaredowntheroad.“We
musttalkaboutourmarriage.”
“Whataboutit?”
“Ithinkyoualreadyknow,Princess.”
Isquintedatthesettingsun.FromthemomentI’dlearned
thatSpessa’sEndhadbeenreclaimed,Ihadafeelingthisconversationwascoming.
“WhatI’mabouttosaywillprobablyconcernyou.Idon’t
wantitto.”
Itensed.“Whenyoustartconversationslikethat,itwill
inevitablycausemeconcern.”
“Understandable,butknowthatwhatguidesmydecisionsis
anabundanceofcautionandanticipationofpotentialissues,”hesaid.
“Justsoyouknow,thisisthemostunromanticconversation
havingtodowithmarriagethatI’veeverheard.”
“Icannotdisagreewiththat,”hereplied,andgoosebumps
pimpledmyskininresponsetotheseriousnessofhistone.“I’doriginally
plannedforustomarryoncewereachedSaion’sCoveandthentravelto
Evaemon,theheartofAtlantia.”
“Isthatwhereyourparentslive?”
“Yes.”
“YouplannedforustomarrybeforeImetyourparents?”
“Itwouldmakethingsfarlesscomplicatedifwedid,”he
reasoned.
Imayhavebeenshelteredmyentirelife,butIwasnofool.
“Youwanttomarrybeforetheyhaveachancetostopus.”
“Theycan’tstopus,”heremindedme,shiftingTeddy’sreins
intomyhands.“Idon’tneedtheirpermission.”
Curlingmyfingersaroundthereins,Isaid,“Butyou’dwant
theirapproval?”
“Ofcourse,Iwould.Whowouldn’twanttheirparents’
approval?”
Butthatwasn’tnecessaryforussincethemarriagewastemporary.
“AsI’vesaidbefore,Ithinktheywillbesuspiciousofmy
intentions,especiallymymother.SheknowsIhaven’tgivenupmybrother.”He
showedmehowtoguideTeddysoweweren’tgoingstraightthroughthetowncenter,
butontheoutskirts.“Bothsheandmyfatherwillseektofindnumerousreasons
whyweshoulddelaythemarriage.”
Ifwecouldn’tconvinceAlastir,Itrulyhadnoideahowwe
wouldswayhisparents.“Oncewe’remarried,thenthere’snothingtobedelayed.”
“Exactly.”Hishandsettledbackonmyhip.“Thisisanother
partthatIdon’twantyoutooverthinkeventhoughIknowyouprobablywill.”
“AndIwillprobablyhaveagoodreasontodoso.”
“That’sdebatable,butnonetheless,Ifeelitwouldbeinour
bestintereststowedhere,inSpessa’sEnd.”
AlthoughIsuspectedasmuch,myheartstillskippedseveral
beats.“Inyourbestinterests?”
“Inourbestinterests,”herepeated.“Sooneror
later,peoplewould’velearnedofyourabilitiestorelievepain.Ifnotbythe
arrivalofthosefromNewHaven,someoneotherthanBeckettwould’vebeen
injured.Ijustwasn’texpectingtoday.AndwhileIdon’tbelievemanywill
lookuponyouwithfearforlongorthinkofyouasaSoulEater,itwouldbe
wiseforustomarrybeforeanyonethinkstodosomethingincrediblyidiotic.”
Somethingincrediblyidiotictranslatedintosomeone
attemptingtokillme.
“Andwehaveeverythingherethatweneedtomarry,”Casteel
saidasweclimbedtheslopinghill.“Orwewillshortly.”
“Whatarethosethingsthatweneed?”
“Well,rings,ofcourse.”
Irolledmyeyes.“Iwasn’tbeingseriousaboutthering.”
“Iknow,butIstillplantogiftyouthelargestdiamond
you’veeverseen,”hesaid,andIcouldhearthesmileinhisvoice.“Buta
simpleAtlantianbandwillhavetosufficefornow.”
Therewereseveralmoreskipsinmyheart.
“Theceremonycanbesmall.Butwewillneedanofficiant,”
hecontinued.“Anyheadofabloodlinecanofficiateamarriage.”
“Alastir?”
“No.Hedoesnotspeakforthewolven,eventhoughheis
amongtheoldest,”Casteelexplained.“ThewolvenwhodoesisnamedJasper.
And,luckily,he’llbearrivinginSpessa’sEndbytomorrow.Wecanbemarried
bytheevening.”
Mychestfelttight.Inalittleovertwenty-fourhours,we
couldbemarried.Arushofconfusingemotionsasconflictingastheonesthe
peoplehadfeltwhenIhealedBecketthitme.
Ihadtofocusontheplanandnoteverythingelse.Mymouth
wasdryasIasked,“AndthenwecontinuetoAtlantia?”
“Yes.”
Ifrownedslightly.“Butwhatisthepoint?Ifwemarry
beforeweevencrosstheSkotosMountains,couldn’twethensendwordto
Carsodonia?”
“Besidesthefactthatmymothermightlegitimatelymurder
mefornottakingmynewbridehometomeether,ourmarriagewillneedtobe
recognizedbytheKingandQueen.Youwillneedtobecrowned.”
“Crowned?”Myheadjerkedtotheside
Hearchedabrow.“YouwillbecomeaPrincess,Poppy.You
willneedtobecrowned.Thenyou’llhavethesameauthorityasIdo.Your
positioninAtlantiathencannotbequestionedbytheKingorQueenofSolis.”
“That…thatseemslikesemantics.”
“Morelikepolitics.AndsinceKingJalarawasaliveduring
Atlantia’srule,hewillknowthataPrinceorPrincessnotrecognizedbythe
CrownholdsnopowerorauthorityinAtlantia.”
IshookmyheadasIfacedforward.Politicswasnonsenseto
me.We’dcrestedthehillandreachedthewoods.Withthesettingsun,there
wasonlythefaintesttracesofsunlightfilteringthroughthetrees.“Andyou
believethatyourparentswillacceptourmarriage?”
“Theywill.”
“YoudorealizethatAlastirdoesn’tquitebelieveour
engagementisgenuine,”Ipointedout.“Ifyourparentsdon’tbelieveus,why
doyouthinktheywillcrownme?”
“Becausewewillconvincethem,”Casteelsaid,andhesaid
itliketherewaslittlepossibilityofanythingelseoccurring.
ButIwasn’tsosure.
“Whatareyouthinking?”Casteelaskedafterseveralsilent
moments.
“I’mthinkingmanythings,”Iadmitted.“ButIknowyou’re
lying.”
Casteelstiffenedbehindme.“I’mnot—”
“Idon’tmeanthatyou’relyingtomisleadme,”Iquickly
added.“Butyou’relyingtoprotectme.You’remoreconcernedabouttheSoul
Eaterthingthanyou’rewillingtoadmit.Andyou’remoreworriedaboutyour
parents’reactionsthanyou’rewillingtosay.Thatiswhyyouwanttomarry
now.”
Casteelstillremainedtense.“Areyoureadingmyemotions?”
Ismiledfaintly.“Idon’tneedtoreadyourthoughtsto
knowanyofthat.”
Hewasquietandthensaid,“Poppy—”
“Notthatyou’veasked,andI’massumingyouwere
gettingaroundtoit,butyes,”Icuthimoff.“IwillmarryyouinSpessa’s
End.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter30
“Idon’tthinkthisiswise,”Alastirsaidashesatinthe
chairacrossfromCasteelandmethefollowingday.
Casteelstretchedouthislegs,crossingthemattheankles.
HelookedutterlyateasebutIknewbetter.Ihadn’topenedmysenses.Partof
mewashalfafraidthatifIdid,IwouldstartglowingsilvereventhoughI
hadn’twhenItesteditoutonCasteeluponreturningtoourroomsthenight
before.
ButIknew
ItwasasifIhadopenedmyselfuptohim.Therewereno
tastesinthebackofmythroat,butIknewhewasannoyedwithAlastirand
strugglingtoremainpatient.Iknewhewasalsoboredwiththeconversation
fivesecondsafteritbegan.Thesewerenotspeculations.Iknewthis
tobetrue,becausewhenIdidopenmyselfuptohim,Ifeltthoseexact
emotions.
JustlikeIhadwhenIwokethismorningtoCasteelwatching
mefromwherehelaybesidemeandknewhewashungry.Notforblood.Hungry
likehehadbeenwhenwestoodoutsideVonetta’shouse.WhatI’dfeltfromhim
hadbroughtforthaheadyreactionfrommybody,andwhenheleftthebed
withouttouchingme,Ifelthisconfusion.
Then,whenVonettashowedupwithclothingthatIhadyetto
gothroughandabasketofpowderydoughnuts,I’dlookedatherandhadknown
thatshefeltnoillfeelingstowardme.Therewascuriosityandalow-level
buzzofwariness,butshedidn’tdistrustordislikeme.WhenIopenedmysenses
toher,whatIfeltconfirmedthat.
Andnow,IcouldfeelAlastir’sdismaysimplybylookingat
him.Itwasthicklikecurdledmilk.
WhatIfeltwasnotmyimagination,thatmuchIknew.Thiswas
myabilitieschangingyetagain,possiblyevengrowingstronger.
“IdonotthinkyoushouldmarrywithouttheKing’sand
Queen’spermission,”Alastirsaid.
“YouknowIdon’tneedtheirpermission.”
“Butthatdoesn’tmeanyoushouldn’trequestit.Evenif
theyrejectthismarriage,youcanstillproceed,butatleastyouwouldbe
doingsowiththeirknowledge,”Alastirargued.“MarryinghereorinSaion’s
Covewithouttheirconsentorknowledgewillcauseaspectacle,Casteel.”
“Itwouldonlycauseaspectacleifpeoplerealizetheywere
unaware.”Casteelcrossedhisarms.“Whichissomethingnooneshouldrealize
sinceit’snotimprobableformetohavesentwordhometothem.”
Alastirleanedforward.“Casteel,Ireallythink—”
“You’renotgoingtochangehismind,”Iinterjected,nearly
aswearywiththeconversationasCasteelwas.
“Andwhataboutyours?”Alastirdemanded.“Wouldyouwishto
meetyourfuturemother-in-lawbeforeorafteryou’vemarriedherson?Ordoes
whatyouwantevenmatter?”
ThepulseoffuryfromCasteelwasawarning,butitwasmy
irritationwiththatquestionthatledmetosay,“IfIhadn’tagreedwithCasteel,
wewouldn’tevenbehavingthisconversationwithyou.”
“Penellaphe,trustmewhenIsaythatthisisnotsomething
eitherofyouneedstorushinto,”hesaid,gentlinghisvoice,butIfelta
threadof…angerthatwasnotmineorCasteel’s.“Youhavetime.Allthetimein
theworld.”
Butwedidn’t.“Inaperfectworld,Iwould’velovedtohave
beencourtedinawaythatdidn’tinvolvekidnappingsorfleeingtheAscended.”
“Orbeingstabbed,”Casteelmurmuredunderhisbreath.
Iturnedtohim.
Hewinked.
Heactuallywinkedatme.
Takingadeepbreath,IfocusedonAlastir.“Butthatisnot
therealworld.TherealityisthatI’drathermarrybeforelearningallthe
wayshisparentswillmostlikelyobject,”Itoldhim,andthatwasthegods’
honesttruth.Temporaryornot,whointheirrightmindwouldwanttosubject
themselvestothat?
Alastir’sfeaturessoftened.“Youdon’tknowthatthey
will.”
“Yes.Ido,”Istated,awareofCasteel’sgazeandthe
absenceoftheall-too-briefamusement.Isatforward.“Theonlypeoplehere
whohavebeenevenremotelyfriendlytomearethewolvenandsomeofthemen
whotraveledwithyou.NoneofthepeopleofSpessa’sEndhave,andIknow
exactlyhowtheyfeelaboutme.”
AnydenialsdiedonAlastir’stongue.
“Thereisnoreasonformetobelievethathisparentswon’t
sharethesameworriesorconcernsasthepeopledo,”Icontinued.“I’drather
marrywithoutactuallybeingabletoreplayalloftheirconcernsinmyhead
duringtheceremony.”
Alastirsatback,rubbinghisfingersoverhisbrow.“Ican
understandthat.Ireallycan,butourKingandQueen—”
“WillbeshockedandprobablygreatlyannoyedthatIhave
marriedsomeonetheyhaveneverlaideyeson,nottomentionsomeonewhois
onlyhalf-AtlantianandwasoncetheMaiden,”Casteelinterrupted.“Butassoon
astheygettoknowher,noneofthatwillmatter.Theywillcometoloveher
asfiercelyasIdo.”
MyheartstutteredandsqueezedasIlookedatCasteel,and
Iknew—Iknewhehadn’tplannedtosaythatlastpart,oratleasthe
hadn’tmeanttosayitlikethat.Hissurprisewassharpandcool,andthe
momenthisgazemetmine,Ilookedaway.
IswallowedtheraggedbreathIwantedtoexhale.“Howis
Beckett?”Iasked.Vonettahadsaidthattheyoungwolvenwaswalkingwith
barelyalimp,butitwastimetochangethesubject.
“Itislikehewasn’tinjuredatall,”Alastirreplied.“What
youdidforhim—”
“Iwasonlytryingtoeasehispain,”Isaidagain.“Idon’t
evenknowifI’llbeabletodosomethinglikethatagain.”
Alastirnodded,buthedidn’tseemtooconvincedof,well,
anything.Andthen,heleft.Alone,IturnedtoCasteel.
“Thatwasfun,wasn’tit?”heasked.
Ididn’tknowwhatitwasabouthowhe’dsaidthat,butI
laughed.“AlmostmorethanIcouldhandle.”
Hesmiled,hisbodyfinallyrelaxingtomatchhisposture.
“Icouldtell.”
Mygazeflickeredoverhim,andI…Iknewtheangerand
frustrationhadfaded.Thesadnesswasthere,lingeringbeneathitall,but
therewasastrangesenseofcontentedness,too.
“Areyoureadingmyemotions?”
“No.”Ipaused.“Sortof?”
“Whatdoesthatmean?”
“I’mnotsurewhatitmeans.”Iglanceddownatmyhands.
“EversinceIwokethismorning,Icanreademotionswithoutopening
myself—withouthavingtoconcentrate.Ifocus,andifIwanttoknow…Iknow.”
“Andifyoudon’twanttoknow?”
Ifrowned.“ThenIdon’t.Idon’tknowifcrowdswillbe
different.”
“Becausetheysometimesoverwhelmyou.”
Heremembered.Inodded.
“That’s…”Hetrailedoff,andIlookedoverathim.“Whatam
Ifeelingnow?”
“I…you’refeelingcuriosity.Notconcern.”
Hisheadtilted.“WhywouldIfeelconcern?”
“Aren’tyouworriedthatIwilldevelopmoreempathtraits?”
“Ifyou’rethinkingthatI’mworriedaboutyoubecominga
SoulEaterandfeedingoffmyemotions,you’dbewastingyourenergy.”
Ifrownedathim.“Iwouldhopeyouwouldn’tthinkthat.”
“WhatIdothinkisit’sallamazing,”hesaid.“You’re
amazing.”
Irolledmyeyes.
“EspeciallywhenyoushutAlastirup.Thatisatalentthat
evenIhaven’tmastered.”Hesatforward,stoppingsothatwewerenearlyat
eyelevel.“Myparentswilllikelybedispleased,buttheywillwelcomeyou.
I’mnotsayingthattomakeyoufeelbetter.Imeanit.Theirangeror
disappointmentwillnotbedirectedatyou.”
Iactuallybelievedthat.
AndIalmostbelievedwhathesaidtoAlastirabouthis
parentslovingmeasfiercelyashedid.Heartmates.
Casteelcurledhisfingersaroundmychin,drawingmygaze
backtohis.“What?”Hisgazesearchedmine.“Whatareyouthinking?Iknowyou
arethinkingaboutsomething.Youalwaysgetthislookonyourfacewhenyou’re
thinkingaboutsomethingyoudon’twanttoshare.”
“WhatkindoflookdoIget?”
“Yournosewrinkles.”
“What?Itdoesnot.”
“Itdoes.”
Icouldn’ttellifhewasbeingseriousornot.“Iwasn’t
thinkinganything.”
“Lies.”Histhumbsweptovermybottomlip.“Tellme.”
Hisgazecaughtandheldmine,andmyheartstartedpounding.
Ifellintohiswarmamberdepths,andIcouldfeelmymaskcracking.“Iwas
thinking…Iwasthinkingthatyoucanbeveryconvincingwhenyouspeaktoothers
abouthowyoufeelaboutme.”
“Isthatso?”
“Yes,”Iwhispered.
Hedraggedhislowerlipthroughhisteethashislashes
lowered.“Butnotconvincingenough.”
IknewhespokeofAlastir,butIthoughtifhewereany
moreconvincing,Iwouldstarttobelievehim.
Hislasheslifted.“There’ssomethingIwanttoshowyou.”
AstrideSettioncemore,Casteelcontrolledthereinsashe
ledusthroughthewoods,ridinginthekindofcompanionablesilenceI’dfelt
withfewpeoplebefore.Hehadn’tgonestraight,towardthetown.Heveered
left,wherethecanopyoftreeswasquiteabitthickerandthewoodswere
denseforasfarasIcouldsee.
“Look,”Casteelsaid,noddingtowardourright.
Turningmyhead,therewasnostoppingthesmilethatlifted
thecornersofmylipsandspreadacrossmyface.Beforeuswasastunning
fieldofflowerswithshowyredpetalsandblackwhorls,swayingslightlyina
breeze.
“Poppies.”Alightlaughescapedmeatthe
unexpectedsight.“I’dneverseensomanyinoneplace.”Mygazesweptover
them.“It’sbeautiful.”
“Yeah,”heagreedafteramoment,clearinghisthroatashe
shiftedbehindme.“Itis.”Thehorsestartedtomovealongtheedgeofthe
woodsandthepoppies.“They’regrownhereinthemeadowsformedicinaluse.”
Iarchedabrow.“Youdon’tworryaboutpeopleusingthem
forotherreasons?”
“Dothefieldslookemptytoyou?”WhenInodded,hetapped
myhiplightlywithhisfingers.“Therearesentriesinthere,camouflagedso
they’rehidden.Thefieldsaremonitoredatalltimessonoonewiththeknowledge
ofhowtocultivatethepoppiescanusethemforill-gottengain.”
“Goodness,”Imurmured,halfexpectingsomeonetopopup
fromtherows.“That’ssmart.I’veheardit’sbecomingaprobleminsomeofthe
cities.”
“WhileIwasinCarsodonia,itranrampant,andIsawit
takingholdinMasadonia,too.Butcanyoureallyblamethosewholiveunder
suchconditions,desiringanescape,nomatterhowtemporary?Manyofthemwho
losehoursanddaysinopiumdensarethosewhogavetheirchildrentothe
CourtortotheTemples,”hesaid.“Itmaynotberight,butIcanunderstand
why.”
“Ican,too.Imean,they’reseekingpeace,evenifit
doesn’tlast.”Sadnesscrowdedoutthebeautyofthefield.
“ThisisonlypartofwhatIwantedtoshowyou.”Heurged
Settiforward,pullingmefrommythoughts.“SomethingIthinkyouwill
appreciate.”
“Iappreciatedthepoppies,”Iadmittedwithafaintflush.
“I’mgladtohearthat.”Hischingrazedthesideofmyhead
ashisarmtightenedbrieflyaroundmywaist,pullingmemorefullyagainsthis
chest.
Themovementleftmealittlebreathless.Italwaysdid,and
itwassomethinghedidoften.Iwonderedifhewasawareofitashetookus
deeperintotheforest.Wasitapurposefulgestureoronehewasn’tevenaware
of?TheactremindedmeofwhatIrememberedseeingmyfatherdo.Healways
seemedtobepullingmymotherclosetohim,asifhecouldn’tbearforthere
tobeanyspacebetweenthem.Ididn’tthinkthatwasthereasonforCasteel.
Maybeitwasjustamethodofcommunicationforhim.
Yetagain,IfoundmyselfwishingthatTawnywerehere.I
couldaskher.Shewouldknow.
Sighing,Iallowedmyselftosoakinthedappledsunlightof
theforest,thechirpsofnearbybirds,andthescentofrichsoiland…something
sweet?
IsatupstraighterasIcaughtsightofwolven-eyeblueand
softpurplelilacblossoms.Thedisplaywasmagnificent,climbingarockyhill
andspillingoverinthick,spiralsofcolor.Itwasn’tuntilwegrewcloser
thatIrealizedtherewasanopeninginthehill,agapofblacknessbehindacurtain
ofblueandpurple.
MyheartbegantopoundasCasteelstoppedthehorseonce
moreandwedismounted,leavingSettitograze.IthoughtIhadanideaofwhat
Casteelwasgoingtoshowmeashetookmyhand,leadingmetothenearlyhidden
entrythatonemostlikelywouldn’tfindiftheyweren’tlookingforit.
“It’salittledarkinapartofthis,”hewarnedme,
sweepingasidetheheavyfallofflowers.“Butitwon’tlastlong.”
Alittledarkwasanunderstatementasweenteredthehill.
Icouldseenothinginthecoolair.Mygriponhishandtightened.“Canyoureally
seeanything?”
“Ican.”
“Idon’tbelieveyou.”
Alowlaughcamefrominfrontofme.“You’rewrinklingyour
noserightnow.”
Itotallywas.“Allright,then.”
“DoyourememberthecavernsImentionedbefore?”heasked.
“TheonesthatIcametowithmybrother?”
Theonesthathe’dalsocometowiththegirlhe’donce
loved.Yes,Iremembered,anditwasexactlywhatIsuspectedwhenIsawthe
entryway.Disbeliefstillseizedmeinthedarkness.Washereallybringingme
toaplacehe’doncesharedwithhisbrother—withSheawhenhesoughttoescape
confusingconversationsthathisparentswerehaving?Ialmostcouldn’tbelieve
hewouldbringmehere.
“Yes,”Ianswered,findingmyvoice.Upahead,Icouldsee
faintlightbreakingthroughthedarkness.“IthoughttheywereinAtlantia.”
“Theyare.Andhere.Butwhatyoucan’tseeisthatmany
tunnelsbranchofffromthisone.Someofthemrunformiles,allthewayto
theSkotosMountainsandthenbeyondthem,tothebluffsbythesea,”he
explained.“MalikandIspentendlesshoursanddaystryingtomapthemout,
butweneverfoundthetunnelsthatpassedthroughthemountains.”
Icouldeasilypicturelittleboysspendinganentirechildhood
racingthroughthetunnels.Mybrotherwould’vebeenthesame.
“Thisisapartofthem,”hesaidassunlightbegantoseep
throughthefissuresintheceilingofthecave.“Thebestpartinmyopinion.”
Damp,sweetlyscentedairreachedusasCasteelturnedto
ourleft,wherestreamsofsunlightwashedoverdeepgraystonewalls.Helet
goofmyhandandhoppeddownafootorso.“There’saslightdrophere.”Turning
backtome,heplacedhishandsonmyhipsandliftedmedown.
Hedidn’tletgowhenmyfeetweresteadyontherockfloor.
Heremainedthere,ourchestsinchesapart.Ilookedup,andhiseyes
immediatelylockedontomine.Ashiverysenseofawarenesspassedbetweenus,
onenearlyimpossibletoignoreaswestoodthere.Therewereshadowsinhis
eyesandaroundhismouth,andthatsentmyheartracingalloveragain.
Anditdidn’tslowashebackedup,hishandsslippingaway
frommyhips.Araggedexhaleleftmeasheturnedandwalkedforward.Ifelt
likeabowstringpulledtootautasIgotmylegsmoving.
Thelilacshadcrepttheirwayintothecavern,risingover
thewallsandstreamingovertheceiling.Wispsofsteamdancedintheslivers
ofsunlightasCasteelstoppedinfrontofwhatappearedtobesomesortof
rockpool.
“Hotsprings,”hesaid,kneelingdownandrunninghis
fingersthroughthewater.Itbubbledinresponse,fizzing.“It’snottheonly
oneinthecavesystem,butit’sthelargest.”
Istoppedbesidehim,staringatthesprings.Itwaslarge,
aboutthesizeoftheGreatHallinTeermanCastle,theedgesirregular.
Outcroppingsofrocksjuttedfromthefrothywaterinseveralplaces.“Howdeep
isit?”
“It’dprobablyreachyourshouldersthroughmostofit.”He
rosefluidly.“Itdoesgetalittledeeperfartherout,neartheentranceto
anothercavern.You’llseethatareaisdark,soIwouldstayawayfromthatif
youcan’tswim.”
“Iusedtobeableto,”Itoldhim,bendingdown.Warmwater
fizzedaroundmyfingers.“ButIdon’tknowifIremember.”
“Icanhelpyourememberwhenwehavemoretime,”he
offered,andItippedmyheadbacktolookathim.“Wewillbeexpectedat
dinnertonight,butwestillhavealittlemoretimeto…justbe.”
We
Asifwewereaunit,alockandakey.
Thenightbefore,IhadeateninmyroomwhileCasteelleft
todo,well,somethingprincely.Iwasn’tevensureifhe’deatenwhenhe
returnedafterthesunhadset,andhejoinedmeontheterrace.Wedidn’t
speakmuchtheneither,andithadbeen…comforting.
Iturnedbacktothepool.“Howmuchtimedowehave?”
“Aboutanhour.”
Anhourseemedlikealifetime.
“Youshouldn’twasteaminuteofit,”hesaid,almostasif
he’dreadmythoughts.“I’mgoingtocheckonthehorse.I’llbebackina
coupleofminutes.”
Lookingovermyshoulder,Iwatchedashedisappearedinto
thetunnel,leavingmeinprivacytoundress.
Hewasalwaysso…unexpected,hisactionsandwordsa
constantcontradiction.Considerateandthendemanding.Teasingendlesslyand
thencoldasloomingdeath.Violentbeyondallthoughtandthenunbelievably
gentle.IknewIcouldspendadozenyearsbyhissideandneverfullyseeall
hisfacets—allthemaskshewore.
Dragginginthesweetlyscentedair,Itoremygazefromhim
andquicklyundressed,leavingmyclothesandbootsinamessypile.Thegrass
wascoolundermyfeet,andthebreezewarmagainstmyskinasIwalked
forward.Waterteasedmytoes,warmandfrothy.Icarefullyeaseddownthe
earthensteps,delightedasthewaterquicklyreachmyhips,lappingaroundmy
skinasImovedfartherout.Heady,pleasantwarmthseepedthroughmyskin,
intomusclessorefromhoursofriding.Thelushscentofthewatersoothedmy
nervesasitfizzedaroundmybreasts,reachingjustabovethem.Stoppingin
themiddleofthepool,Itippedmyheadbackandletoutasoftsigh.
Inaninstant,IknewwhyCasteelfavoredthisplace.With
justenoughsunlightfilteringthroughthecracksabovetoseeby,the
soothing,lullingsoundofbirdschattering,andtheheadyfragranceoflilacsclimbing
thewalls,itwasamystical,privatehideawayseeminglyfashionedfromthe
imagination—aplaceyoucouldspendalifetime.
OratleastIfeltlikeIcouldstayhereforever,enjoying
allthelittlebubblesticklingmybareskinasthewhite-tippedfoamywater
rinsedawaymorethanthedustfromtheroad.Itsweptasidethefearofthe
magicinthemountainsandwashedawaythelingeringquestionsIhadabout
myself,aboutwhathadhappenedwhenItouchedBeckett,aboutmyfuture,andabout
him
Iturned,stirringthegentlychurningwater.
Casteelstoodattheedge.He’dmovedtherequietly,soI
hadnoideahowlonghe’dstoodthere,orwhathesaw.Therewasahardnessto
thelineofhisjawashestaredatme,andwhenhespoke,therewasaroughness
inhisvoicethathadn’tbeentherebefore.IsawhungerI’dmistakenforanger
whenwestoodoutsideVonetta’shouse.“Doyoufind
“Ido.”Idraggedmyarmsthroughthewater,watchingit
fizzandbubbleinresponse.“I’veneverseenanythinglikethis.”Liftingmy
gazebacktohim,Ireachedfortheedgeofmysoakedbraid.Ibeganunknotting
theplaitashetuggedoffoneboot.“TherearespringsinMasadoniathatTawny
andIsnuckofftoatimeortwo,butthewaterwascold,andwecouldn’tstay
inlong.Shewould…”Isighedasatwingeofmelancholythreatenedmypeace.
“Shewouldlovethisplace.”
“You’resad.Icanhearitinyourvoice.I’msorrythatyou
missher,”heexpressed,removinghisotherboot.Thesocksfollowed.“Iknow
howharditistobeapartfromthoseyoucareabout.”
“Youdo.”Andhedid,farmorethanIdid.Hairunbound,I
letitlayovermyshoulder.“Butsheissafefornow.”
“Fornow,”heagreed,reachingbehindhishead.Hegrippedthe
collarofhistunicandpulleditoverhisheadandthendownhisarms,
revealingthebroadwidthofhisshouldersfirstandthenthedelineatedlines
ofhischestandthetrimhardnessofhisstomach.
Adifferentkindofnervousnessthanbeforerosewithinme
andthenabatedashetossedtheclothaside.Hewasundressing,andIshould
lookaway.Ishouldfeelembarrassedbyhissoon-to-beblatantnudity.ButI
didn’tavertmygazeashishandsdroppedtothelineofbuttonsonhis
breeches.Heatcreptintomycheeksasheslidthemdownhiships.Thewayhis
bodywasangledgaveonlyatantalizingglimpseofsleekmuscles.Hispants
landedwithhistunic,andthenhelookedtowhereIwaited.
Ourgazesmetandheld,andIdidn’tknowwhatgotintome,if
itwasthewarm,bubblingwater,theserenebeautyofthelakeandthe
dreamlikesurrealismofbeinginAtlantia,ormaybeitwasthehungerhe’d
spokenofearlier.Whateveritwas,Iloweredmyeyesandletmyselflook.My
gazedriftedoverhischestagain,thendownthecoiledmusclesofhisstomach
andoverpalenicksandgrooves.Igotalittlehungupontheindentationson
eithersideofhishipsandthenmybreathquickened.
Hewantedme,shamelesslyso.Ididn’tunderstandhowor
why.Hecaredforme,butIwasonlypartlybeautiful.Iwasno
seductress,andill-experiencedtoboot,andhehadonlybeendrawntomein
thebeginningbecauseheneededmetofreehisbrother.Buthedesiredme.Even
Iknewthat.
Iforcedmygazelower,totheRoyalCrestbrandedontohis
skin,justbelowhiship.Hishanddriftedoverthebrand,haltingasifhe
soughttohideitforamoment,andthenroseoverthenumerousslicesacross
hisstomach.Mygazefollowed.
Angerrushedme.Thatkindofpremeditatedcrueltywas
disturbing.“I…”Istartedtoapologizeforwhathadbeendonetohim,butI
caughtmyself.Myeyesmethisoncemore.“Iwishtheycouldfeelthesamepain
theyinflicteduponyou.”
Aslightflickerofsurpriselithisfeatures.“Evenyour
Queen,whocaredforyousotenderly?”
Myheartturnedoverheavily.“Idon’tthinkIwilleverbe
abletoreconciletheQueenyouknewandtheonewhocaredforme.But,yes.
Evenher.”
Hisheadcocked.“Youmeanthat.”
Inodded,becauseIdid.
Ahalf-grinappeared.“Soincrediblyviolent.”
Thistime,Ididn’tevenbothertocorrecthim.“Perhapsa
little.”
Hisdeep,richlaughechoedthroughoutthecavern,daringme
toforgetwhathadcometopassandwhatlayinwait,challengingmetotake
whatIwanted.
Isankunderthewater,eyesclosed.Bubbling,swishing
liquiddancedovermyfaceandthroughmyhair.WhatdidIwant?Him.
Iwantedhishandsonme,washingawayallthereasonswhyIshouldn’t.I
wantedtofeelhisskinagainstmine,crowdingouttheworldaroundus.I
wantedthetouchofhislips,chasingawayanylogicalprotestsbeforethey
couldform.Iwantedhismouthonmine,kissingawaythelieshislipsoncespoke.
Iwantedhishandsonme,soothingawaythestingofguiltandthefeelingthat
Iwasbetrayingmyself.IwantedtofeelhiminsidemesoIcouldn’tfeelanything
buthim.Iwantedtobesocompletelydevouredbyhimthattherewasnoroom
forthefearthathewouldbecomeascaruponmysure-to-be-brokenheart.
Because…becausewhatifKieranwaswrong?WhatifafterCasteelaccomplished
whathewanted,whenhefulfilledhisendofthebargain,allthatremainedwas
liesandbetrayals?
Iwantedtobelievewewereheartmatesinspiteofeverything
thatmadethatseemimpossible.
Istayedunderwater,desperatelysearchingforstrengthand
commonsense.Istayeduntilmylungsburned.WhenIbrokethesurface,there
wasstillnothingbutwantandneedforhim.Handstrembling,Iscoopedthehair
backfrommyfaceasIblinkedawaythedampnessclingingtomylashesandlost
mybreath,lostalittlebitmoreofmyself.
Casteelhadenteredthepool.
Hestoodseveralfeetaway,havingalreadygoneunderthe
waterhimself.Hismidnighthairwasslickedbackfromhisface,andwatersluiced
downhischest.Somuchtallerthanme,thefrothingwateronlyreachedjust
abovehisnavel.HelookedverymuchlikeIimaginedagodwould,thefractured
raysofsunlightglisteningoffhisdampskin.
Hisintensegazesnaggedmine,andthatsenseofawarenessfrom
beforereturned,passingbetweenus.Itwaslikeastrikeoflightning,
thickeningthealreadybalmyair.
“I’vebeenthinking,”hesaid,glidingthroughthewater
towardme.
“Youhave?”Mypulsepoundedeverywhere.
Henodded.“Ihave.”
Ihadtocranemyneckbackashestoppedonlyahandfulof
inchesinfrontofme.“DoIwanttoknowwhatyou’vebeenthinkingabout?”
“You’llprobablysayno.”Hedriftedforward,hismovements
gracefulandpurposeful,andImovedbackward.“Butthatwillbealie.”
“Howwouldyouknow?”
“IknowaliewhenIseeone,”hereplied,crowdingmeback
againstthesmoothrockwall.“Moreimportantly,Iknowwhenyoulie.”
Therewasacatchinmybreathasheplacedhishandsonthe
rocklikehe’ddoneearlier.Couldhesensemydesire?Eveninallthiswater
andunderthepotentscentoflilac?Ipressedagainstthewarmrock,thinking
thatitwasimpossibleformyhearttobeatanyfaster.“Whatareyouthinking
about?”
“Myidea.”Hisbreathcoastedovermycheek.“Youmightbe
interestedinit.”
“Doubtful,”Imurmured.
“Youhaven’tevenheardwhatitisyet,Princess.”Those
lipsgrazedthecurveofmyjaw,andtheedgesofhisdamphairtouchedmy
cheek,causingmetogasp.“Yeah,Idefinitelyknowyou’llbeinterested.”
Edginessswampedmeasmyheadtippedbackagainsttherock
withoutconsciousthought.“Whydon’tyoutellmewhatitis,andIwilllet
youknowifI’minterested?”
Hischucklewasroughasoneofhishandslefttherock.My
stomachhollowedashisfingersmetthebareskinofmywaist.“Onlyifyou
promisenottolie.”
“IfyoucantellwhenI’mlying—”Ashakybreathleftmeas
heshiftedcloser,hischestbrushingminewitheachbreathhetook.Thecontact
sentawaveofshiversthroughme,tighteningthetipsofmybreaststoalmost
painfulpoints.
“Whatwereyousaying,Princess?”heasked,andIfelthim
smileagainstmycheek.
WhatwasIsaying?Ittookamomentformetoremember.“If
youknowI’mlying,whywoulditmatterifItoldthetruth?”
“Becauseyouknowthatthetruthisimportant.”Thehand
leftmywaist,trailingdownmyhip,stirringthewater.Bubblesdancedovermy
legs,betweenthem.Awickedfeelingcurledlowinmycore.“Thetruthis
permission.”
Myunfocusedgazecreptovertheconesofblueandpurple
blossoms.“Isit?”
“Itis.”Hepaused.“Didyouknowthatthebite,untilit’s
fullyhealed,becomesanerogenouszone?Apointofpleasure?Itcangiveyou
thesamefeelingsasthebite.Almost.Didyouknow?”
IthoughtIdid.“No.”
“Wantmetoshowyou?”heoffered.“Iknowyou’reacurious
sort.”
“Yes,”Iwhispered,dizzywithanticipation.
“Remember,Princess.Thisisjusttoassuageyourcuriosity.
Nothingmore.”
“Iknow.”Myfingerscurledagainsttherock.
“Good.”Thenhismouth
closedoverthebite.Hesuckedontheskin,drawingitbetweenhisteeth.My
backarched,draggingthehardpeaksofmybreastsagainsthischest.I
shuddered,becomingliquid.
Goodgods…
“DidIevertellyouwhatyoutastelike?”Histonguelapped
overthesensitivemark.
“Honeydew?”Iwhispered,eyesdriftingshutasIturnedmy
headtowardhis,seekingwhatIknewIshouldn’twant.
“Youdirtygirl.I’mnottalkingaboutthat.”Henippedat
myjaw,drawinganothergaspfromme.“I’mtalkingaboutyourblood,butnow
you’vedraggedmymindintounseemlyplaces.”
“Yourmindalwaysresidesinunseemlyplaces.”
Helaugheddeeply.“Ican’tdenythat.”Hisnosebrushed
mineashismouthdrewclosertomylips.“Yourbloodtastesoldtome,powerful
butlight.Likemoonlight.NowIknowwhy.”
“Howdoesanythingtastelikemoonlight?”
“Magic,Iimagine.NowstopdistractingmewhenI’mtrying
totellyouaboutmyidea.”
“I’mnot—”Ibitdownonmylipashishandslippeddownmy
thigh.“I’mnotbeingdistracting.”
“Oh,yes.You’realwayssodamndistracting,”hechided
gently.
“Soundslikethat’syourproblem.”
“Itisbothourproblems.”
“Whatareyouaskingpermissionfor?”Isoundedbreathless,
asifIwerestandingonanedge.“Whatisthisidea?”
“Ifyouwant,”hesaid,hischestrisingandfallingagainst
mine,sendingdartsofforbiddenpleasurethroughme.“Wecanpretendagain.”
Hishandslidalongmythigh,higherandhigher—
ThetipsofhisfingersreachedevidenceofwhatIknewhe’d
alreadysensed.Myhipsjerkedattheillicitthrillasabreathymoanparted
mylips.
Hedraggedhismouthovermine.Itwasn’takiss,justa
passingglanceofhismouthagainstmine.“Youcanpretend.”Coolairseepedin
asheliftedhishead.“Youcanpretendthatthisisn’tbecauseyoudon’thave
aofneedme.”
MyheartfeltlikeatrappedbutterflyasIopenedmyeyes.
Hiswereblazing,aheatedhoney.“Idon’t.”
Thecurveofhislipswascruellysensual.“Youcanpretend
thatthis—”Heeasedafingerinsideme,justthetip,butIroseuponmy
toes.Hiseyesturnedluminousashisgazedriftedovermyfaceandthenlower
towheremybreastshadrisenupabovethechurningwater.Heliftedhisgazeto
mineashepressedhisfingerinfurther,andIcouldfeelmyinnermuscles
clenchingaroundhim.“Thatthishasnothingtodowithyouwantingme.”
“Idon’t,”Itoldhim,evenasIliftedmyhipsoffthe
rock,pressingagainsthishand,againsthim.
Casteelhissedasmystomachbrushedthehot,hardlengthof
him.Hepushedmebacktotherock,trappinghishandbetweenusashischest
flattenedagainstmine.Theskin-to-skincontact,thewayheslowlypumpedhis
finger,shortedoutmysenses.“Youcanpretendthatit’sjustthesensitive
biteonyourneckcausingyoutosquirmagainstmyhand.”
IwassquirmingasbestIcould.
“Youcanpretendthat’sthereasonyouwishitwasmycock
youweregrabbingontosotightly.”Hisheaddippedtomineoncemore.“Wecan
bothpretend,andwebothcan…”
“Canwhat?”Ibreathed.“JustbeHawkeandPoppy?”
Foramoment,thehardnessetchedontohisfeaturesslipped
andthencracked,revealingthenear-desperateneedunderneath.Aneedforme.
Forus.
WhatifKieranwasright?
Icouldbarelybreathe,letalonethink,butIknewwhathe
meant.Gods,didIever.Andinthismoment,wewantedthesame.Perhapswe
neededthesame—tojustfeelandleteverythingelsefalltothewayside.To
justbehere,inthesesecondsandminutesandnoplaceelse.Couldwedothat?
Maybehecould.Perhapsthiswasallaboutslakingaphysicalneedforhim,
evenasinexplicableasthatwas.Whycouldn’tI?Iwantedwhathecouldgive
me.Pleasure.Momentaryescape.Experience.Asenseoffreedom.Becausethat’s
whatreleasefeltlike.Howwasthatabetrayaltoanyone,includingmyself?
Wasn’tdenyingitmoretreacherous?OrwasIlyingtomyselfevennow?Andif
so,didthatevenmatter?
Histouchedstilledashesearchedmyfaceforananswer.
Andinthatmoment,Irealizedthatthiswasmylife.Whatexistedbetween
CasteelandIwasneitherrightnorwrong.Itwasmessyandcomplicated,and
maybeI’dregretthislaterasIgavehimmoreandmorepiecesofme,butI
wantedhim.
AndIwassodonedenyingmyselfanything
Iwasdonelyingtohimandtomyself.
“Onlyononecondition,”Isaid.
“Youhaveaconditionnow?”
Inodded,myheartthundering.“Idon’twanttopretend,”I
whispered.“I’mPoppyandyou’reCasteel,andthisisreal.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter31
“Canyouagreetothat?”Iasked.
Hiseyesdriftedshutforaheartbeat,allthestriking
linesofhisfaceweretense.“Always,”hewhispered.“Yes.”
Ireactedandpulledawayfromtherock.Closingthedistance
betweenourmouths,Ikissedhim.IknewthemomentmylipstouchedCasteel’s,
theverysecondhislipsparted,thatthiswasreal
Iliftedmyhandsfromtherock,loopingthemaroundhis
neckasItookwhatIwanted,tastinghimonthetipofmytongue,revelingin
thedecadentthrillofhissharpteeth.Ididn’tknowwhatIwasdoing,only
thatinstinctguidedme.Imovedmylipsagainsthis,nippingandexploringand
learning.
AndCasteeldidn’tseematallbotheredbytheartless
inexperience.Ifanything,itseemedtoinflamehim.HegavemewhatIwanted.
Kissingmewithawildsortofabandonthatborderedoncrazed
Whenheendedthekiss,hewasbreathingjustasheavilyas
Iwas.“We’renotpretending,Poppy?Nomore?Youwantme.Knowingeverything,
youwantme.”
“Whatdoyouthink?”Imovedagainsthishandindemand.
Hisotherhanddroppedtomyhip,stillingmymovements.“I
needtohearyousayit,Princess.”
Ofcourse,hedid.
“Yes,”Inearlycursed.“Iwantyou.”
“Good.”Heslippedhishandfrombetweenmylegs.“Becausethis
isreal.”
BeforeIcouldfeelthelossofhiswickedhand,hegripped
mythighsandliftedme.Igasped,handsslippingoverhisshouldersasmore
thanhalfofmybodyleftthewater.
“Hookyourlegsaroundmywaist,”hecommandedsoftly.“Do
it.”
Ididasherequestedwithoutcomplaint.Itwasrare.Ihoped
herecognizedthat.
Hemovedhishandsbacktomyhipsashelookeddowntowhere
mybreastswerepillowedagainsthischest.“Iwouldlovetotakemytimebecause
therearesomanydifferentwaysI’dlovetoberealwithyou.Layyou
outontherocksandlickeveryinchofyourbody.Makeyoucomethatway.And
thenI’dwantyouonyourkneesandyourmoutharoundmycock.”
Ishudderedatthedepravedimageshiswordsbroughtforth.
ThatacthadbeeninMissWilla’sdiary,andithadseemedabhorrentwhenI’d
readit.Butnow?Itsounded…intriguing.“I—Idon’tknowhowtodo
that.”
“Idon’tthinkyoucoulddoitwrong,”hetoldme,eyes
flaringintently.“ButI’dshowyou.I’dshowyouhowtouseyourmouthandtongue.
Ifwehadtime,wewouldplay.”Hishandstightenedatmywaist.“Butwedon’t
havetime,Princess.”
“No.”Myheartpounded.“Wedon’t.”
Hisgazeheldmine.“I’mgladwe’reonthesamepage.”Themuscles
undermyhandsbunchedashesaid,“Princess?”
“YourHighness?”
Thoseeyesofhisturnedtomoltenamber.“I’mgoingtoneed
youtoholdontomeandnotletgo,becauseI’mabouttofuckyoulikeI
promised.”
Igaspedathislewd—deliciouslyso—words.“Yes.Please.”
Casteeldidn’trespondwithwords.Hedidsowithaction,
guidingmedownuntilIfelthimnudgingmyentrance.Ibitdownonmylip.
“Loweryourlegs,”hedemanded.“Justalittle—there.That’s
perfect.”Hislipsreturnedtomine.“You’reperfect.”
“I—”Mywordsendedinacrythathecapturedwithakiss.
Hefilledme,stretchingmeuntilIwasn’tsureifthispositionwouldwork.Or
ifIwouldwork.We’donlydonethistwice.I’donlydonethistwice.
ButIheldon,myfingersdiggingintohisskinashekeptsinkingintome,
deeperanddeeperuntiltherewasnospacebetweenus,andCasteelshook.
Hedraggedonehanddownmyback,foldinghisarmaroundme.
Andthenhe…heheldmethere,againsthischest,burieddeepinside.“Youokay?”
herasped,lipsbrushingmine.“Poppy?”
Inodded,easingmygriponhisshoulders.
“Yousure?”
“Yes,”Iwhispered,myeyesclosed.Itdidn’thurt.Itdidn’t
feelexactlycomfortable,butIknewtherewasmore.Ishifted,wigglingmy
hips.
Hegroanedmyname.“Poppy…”
Iignoredthewaymyheartclenchedinresponsetohis
voice.Ididn’twantthat.Iwantedthehardnessbetweenmylegsandinsideme,
neededwhatitmademefeel.Ididn’twantmyheartgettinginvolved.
Isquirmed,gaspingaspleasuresparked
“Gods,Poppy.I’mtrying—”Asoundrumbledfromhim,
vibratingthroughme.“I’mtryingtomakesureyou’reready.”
“I’mready,”Itoldhim.I’vebeenready.
Hecursed,butthenhemoved,thrustinghishipsupasthehand
onminepulleddown.Myeyeswentwideattherawsensationofhimmovinginside
me,slowanddeep.Isighed,musclesIdidn’trealizewereeventenserelaxing.
“That’sit.”Hiswordswerebarelyawhisper.“Gods,you
feel…”ThehandguidingmespasmedandthenloosenedasIliftedmyselfonhis
length.“YoufeellikeallIcouldeverwant.”
I’dneverwantedtobelievesomethingmoreinmylife,and
thatrealizationthreatenedeverything.
“We’rebeingreal,”Iremindedhim,seekingouthismouth.
“Don’tlietomenow.”
Hewentrigidagainstmeforahandfulofseconds,andthenhe
bitoutaharshlaugh.“You’reright.”Hishandfistedinmyhair,pullingmyhead
back.“Wedon’tneedtolienow.”
Hismouthcoveredmine,andoneofhisfangsscrapedmylip,
draggingahuskymoanfromme.Astaggeredheartbeatlater,wewerebackat
thatrock,oneofhisarmsaroundmeandtheotherhandinmyhair,theonly
thingsbetweenthehardsurfaceandmyskinasherolledintome,pinningmy
hips.
Andthenhedidwhathepromised.
Casteelfucked
Hishipsslammedintomine,andthewayIwasheldthere,
allIcoulddowaswhateverhedemanded.Iheldonasthefrothywaterfoamed
andbubbledviolentlyaroundus.Eachthrustofhishipsfeltasgreedyasthe
strokesofmytongueagainsthis.Everyplungeofhishipsfeltmorelikean
actofpossessionthantheonebefore.Myheadfellbackbutneverreachedthe
rockbecauseofhishand,andtheworldwasakaleidoscopeofbrokensunlight,
slate-coloredwalls,andvibrantpetals.Itightened—everythinginmetightened
ashisheaddroppedtomyshoulder,hisbodygrindingintomine.Icurled
myselfaroundhim,pressingmyfaceintohisneck,tastingthesweetwaterand
thesaltofhisskin.Mypulsethunderedthroughme,hisjustasstrongagainst
mycheek.Ourbodiesmovedinafrenzy,anditfeltlikehewaseverywhereat
once,stealingmybreath.Therewasnohesitation.Noslowingdownorcomingup
forair.Wewerebothsweptawayinthemadness,lostinthetensioncoiling
tighterandtighter.Ithoughtitwouldshatterme,shatterusboth,buthegave
mewhatIwantedsobadly.
Thefeelofhisskinagainstminecrowdedouttheworld
untiltherewasonlyus.Thetouchofhislipsagainstmyneck,mycheek,had
alreadychasedawayanyprotests.Hismouthfoundmineoncemoreashishands
heldmesotightlytohim,socarefully,preventingthestingofguiltfrom
evenforming.HemovedsodeeplyinsidemethatIcouldn’tfeelanythingbut
him,andwhenreleasefoundme,italsofoundhim,devouringusboth,leaving
noroomtofearwhatawaitedandmakingwhatseemedimpossible,possible.
IfeltweightlessinCasteel’sarms,cheekrestingonhis
shoulderandfeetfloatingseveralinchesabovethepool’sfloor.I’dattempted
tomoveawayearlier,afterthelastofthepleasureabatedandrealitystarted
toseepinwiththefadingsunlight.Ididn’tmakeitfar,though.Casteel
didn’tletme.Hekepthisarmsaroundme.
“Notyet,”he’dsaidasheguidedmycheektohisshoulder.
Itfeltlikepermission.Ididn’tfighthim.Iblamedalot
ofthingsforthis,eventhoughIhadnodesiretofighthimthen.Thewarmth
ofthepoolandhisskinforstarters.Thewayhemovedhishandupanddownmy
spinewasentirelytoosoothing.Thelanguidnessinmybodywasalsoatfault,
andsowasthetruththatitfeltlovelytobeheld,especiallylikethis,with
nobarriersbetweenus.
Afterbeingforbiddenhumantouchforsolong,hisnakedness
waslikebeingofferedaplatterofthemostdecadentchocolatesandsweets.I
tracedtinycirclesonhisothershoulder,wishingIhadthecouragetoexplore
thehardness,theindentsandscars.Instead,Isatisfiedmycuriositywiththe
wayhisskinfeltundermyfingersandhowhisbodyfeltlikesteelwrappedin
satin.
AndI…gods,Isoakedineverymoment,myeyesgluedtothe
sideofhisneck,thedampcurlofhishair.Inthesecretchambersofmy
heart,Icherishedthesemoments.
Ididn’tknowhow
longwestayedlikethat,nothingbutthesoundofthewaterandthecallsof
thebirdsoutsidearoundus.Casteelseemedtoknowexactlywhensomeoneneared
thecave.
“It’sKieran.He’stheonlyonewhowouldknowtofindme
here.”Hegentlydisentangledhimselffromme,andIthoughtIfelthislipsbrush
overthecrownofmyhead.“I’llberightback.”
Isanktomyshouldersasheglidedthroughthewaterand
thenrose.Igotaneyeful,onethatshouldn’thaveheatedmyfaceasmuchas
itdidgivenwhatwe’ddone.Hestoppedtograbhispants,butdidn’tpullthem
on.
Casteelwalkedoutofthecavernasnakedasthedayhewas
born,andifhedidn’tstoptoputonthosepants,Kieranwasabouttogetone
hellofaneyeful.
“Okay,then,”Iwhisperedandthenlaughed,thesound
echoinginthechamber.
MyheadfellbackasIstaredatthesliversofsunlight,
searchingforremorseorshame.Likebefore,Ionlyfounduncertainty.Notfor
whatwe’dshared,butforwhatitmeant.Wehadn’tbeenpretending.
Whatwe’dsharedhadbeenreal.Nogames.Nopretenses.No
half-truths.
Idraggedmyteethovermylowerlip.Itfeltswollenfrom
hiskisses.Iliftedmyfingerstomymouth,shiveringasIthoughtofhowhe’d
claimeditjustasthoroughlyashe’ddonewiththerestofmybody.
IturnedatthesoundofCasteel’sfootsteps.Thankallthe
gods,hewashalfwayclothed.Theflapofbuttonswasundone,though,andIhad
noideahowthepantsstayedonhiships.Hecarriedawhitebundleinhis
hands,whichhelaidcarefullyonthefloorofthecave.
“Kieranfiguredwewereheadedhere.Hebroughtsomefreshclothes
forbothofusandatowel.”
Icouldn’tevenfathomhowKieranhadbeenthatintuitive,and
Iprobablydidn’twanttoknow.
Heextendedahand,offeringathick,whitetowel.“Itgoes
withoutsayingthatIpreferthenaked,wetversionofyou.Butit’stimetodry
offandbepresentable.”
IshookmyheadasImovedforward,slowingwhenthebubbling
waterstartedtodropbelowmychest.WhywasIhesitating?Itwasn’tlikehe
hadn’tseenmybreasts,thescars,andeverythingelse.Hewaswaiting,watching
me,andhadn’tIdonethesameearlier?Watchedhimundressunabashedly?
Shoringupcourage,Icontinuedon,andthestrangestthinghappened.Eachstep
becameeasier,evenasthewaterdroppedtomyribcageandthentomynavel.
EvenasCasteel’sgazefollowedthewaterlevel.Hislipspartedslightly,and
IwasconfidentthatNyktoshimselfcouldarrive,andCasteelwouldn’tlook
awayfromme.Irealizedtherewaspowerinthat,inbeingasourceof
distractionforhim.Theedgesofhisfangsdraggedoverhislowerlipasthe
waterfizzedaroundmyinnerthighsandthenlower.Pretendingornot,he
enjoyedwhathesawasIclimbedtheearthensteps.
“I’llhelp.”Hespreadthetowelwide.“Iknowyoudon’t
needit,butIwantto.”
IsaidnothingasIstoodinfrontofhim,bareashe’d
been.Hesteppedinbehindme,rubbingthetowelovermywethair.
“Thisshouldbedriedfirst,”heexplained,andIwasfully
awarethathewasstaringdownatmeashesqueezedtheexcesswaterfrommy
hair.IknewhesawthetipsofmybreastspuckerandcouldseetheflushI
felttintingmyskin.
“Wouldn’twantyoutocatchacold,”hesaid,voicerough.
“That’swhatIhearaboutwethair.”
“Uh-huh.”Myjawworkedasasmiletuggedatmylips.
“I’mjustbeingthorough.”Heslidthetoweldownmyarms,
allthewaytothetipsofmyfingersandthenacrossmyback.“You’llthankme
later.”
“Forbeingthorough?”
“Amongotherthings.”Hedraggedtheclothovermystomach
andthenup,catchingthewaterbetweenmybreasts.Hishandslingeredthere
beforeheturnedmetohim.
Hekneltbeforeme,sendingmystomachtumblingashedrew
thetowelupmyleftleg,thenmyright,andfinallybetweenthem.Isuckedin
asharpbreath,swayingslightly.
“Justbeingthorough,”heremindedme,hiseyeshooded.“I
wouldn’twantyouunnecessarilywet,Princess.”
Ihadafeelinghemeantsomethingelse
Thetowelsmoothed
overmybackside.“Ithinkyou’realldrynow.”Hisgazeslowlymadeitswayto
mine.“Mostly.”
Yes.
Mostly.
Grinning,heleanedhisheaddownandkissedthefaded,jagged
scaronmyinnerthigh.Theactstartledmeoutofthepleasanthaze.Iwatched
himrise,athousanddifferentthoughtsracingthroughmyheadashewrappedthe
towelaroundme.
Igrabbedholdoftheedges.“Casteel—”
“Iknow.”Heplacedafingerovermylips.“Whatwe’vedone
herestayshere.”
Iblinked,stungatoncebywordsIwasn’tsureIeven
understood.Iwasn’tgoingtosaythat.Ihonestlydidn’tknowwhatIwasgoing
tosay.
Heturned,pickingupthewhiteshirt,whichwassucha
contrastagainsthistanskin.Alockofdarkhairtoppledoverhisforehead,
softeninghisfeaturesashebenthishead,buttoninghispants.Therewasa
curllowinmystomach.Howcouldhemakesuchanordinaryactasdressingappear
sosensual?
Ihonestlydidn’tneedtostandthereandwatchhimdress.
Droppingthetowel,Iquicklyputonmyclothes.
“Here.”Casteelfixedmysleevesagain.
Ididn’tknowexactlywhatitwasaboutthatmomentthat
mademethinkoftheconsequencesofwhatwe’djustdone.Thefactthatit
hadn’tevencrossedmyminduntilnowshowedthatIneededtomakebetterlife
choices.
“Yousaidthatyoutookpreventionforpregnancy,”Isaid,
recallingthathe’dtakenanherbthatrenderedbothmalesandfemales
temporarilyinfertile.“Areyoustillcovered?”
“Yes.I’mcareful,Poppy,”hesaidwithouthesitation,
gatheringupourclothingandmyboots.“Iwouldn’triskachild.”
Betweenus.
Hehadn’tsaidthat,butithungintheairnonetheless.And
therewasanotherodd,irrationalbite.Onewhichmadenosensebecauseoftheidea
ofhavingachildwithanyonewasmoreterrifyingthanfindinganactual
creaturewithfinsforlegsandtailsforarmsundermybed.
Therewassomethingobviouslywrongwithmebecauseitstill
hurt.
Becausewhatwasrealtohimwasn’tthesameforme.
WordofwhatI’ddonetoBecketthadspread.Iknewthis
becauseeveryonestaredasIliftedaspoonfulofthickherbalsoup.
Well,noteveryone.
TwoAtlantianshadcommandeeredCasteel’sattention.Sohad
Kieran.IhadnoideawhereDelanoandNaillhaddisappearedto,anditcould
literallybeanywheresincewewereinoneofthelargerbuildingsinthetown
center.Buttherestwereeithersneakingpeeksinmydirectionoroutright
staring.
ThemortalsandAtlantianswhosatatthetablebeforeus.
Thewolveninterspersedthroughouttherestofthetables.Theyallstared.Not
thatIcouldblamethem.Ihadglowedsilver,andIhadhealedsomeone
withmytouch.I’dbestaringatsomeonewhoI’dheardorseendothat,too.
Butitwaswhatwasbehindthosestaresthatunnervedme.Theairfairly
vibratedwithemotion,andlikebefore,Ihadn’tneededtoconcentrate,toopen
myselftofeelthenearhostilityofmostaroundme.
Swallowingtherich,flavorfulsoup,Iliftedmygazetothe
bannersthathungoneithersideofthedoor.Theyrippledsoftlyinthebreeze
comingthroughtheopenwindows,whichcaughtthebladesofseveralfans,
keepingthepackedroomcool.
Asofttouchtomyarmdrewmyattentiontomyright,where
Alastirsat.“Wouldyouliketotakeyourdinnerinyourprivatequarters?”he
askedquietly.“Ifso,Icanescortyoubacktothefort.”
IloweredmyspoonasIglancedtowhereCasteelsatatthe
headofthetable.HewaslisteningtoanAtlantianasherootedaroundonaplate
ofcheeses,inspectingeachoneasifhewerelookingfortheperfectoneor
flaws.IrefocusedonAlastir.“DoIlookthatuncomfortable?”
Atight,worriedsmileappeared.“You’vebarelytouchedyour
food.”
Itwashardtoeatwhilepeoplestared.Mygazeflickered
overthecrowdedroom.Partofmewantedtoexcusemyselfandreturntomybedchamber,
butthiswasonlyoneofmanydinnersoreventswhereIwouldbetheobjectof
interest.Plus,hidinginmyquartersmaybetheeasieroption,butitwouldalso
bemorecowardly.Andbesides,noonewasprojectingtheiremotions.There
wasn’tascreameramongthem,soIcouldignorethem.Mostly.
“I’mfine,”Idecided.
Hissmiledidn’treachhiseyes.“Iknowitmustbehardto
bearoundsomanywhoaren’twelcomingofyouandknowhowtheyfeel.Iwould
notthinkillofyouifyoudon’twanttoexposeyourselftothat.Andjust
knowthatanyonewhohasspentevenafewminutesinyourpresencedoesnot
feelthatway.Therestwillcometoknowyou,I’msure.Butuntilthen,I
apologizefortheirbehavior.”
Hesqueezedmyarmgently.“Didyouknowthatthiswasonce
averybusytradingpost?”
Iswallowedtheknothiswordsformedinmychest.
“WhenAtlantiaruledovertheentirekingdom,thiswasthe
firstandlastmajorcitybeforeyoucrossedtheSkotosMountains.Thereused
tobe…thousandsthatoncepassedthroughhere,”hesaid,sighingashisgaze
coastedoverthebarewalls.“Itwassuchashametoseewhatbecameofthis
place,butCasteelandthesepeopleareslowlyrestoringitandbringingnew
life.”
Quentynstrodeoutfromanareawherethefoodhadbeen
prepared,carryingalargepitcher.Anothertrailedbehindhim,shorterand
youngerwithaslightlimp.Ittookmeamomenttorecognizetheboywiththe
blackhairandtanskin.I’donlyseenhiminhiswolvenformandverybriefly
asamortal,buthisskinhadbeenpaleandclammythen.
Beckett.
Iwatchedhimrefilltheglassesattheendofthetableand
makehiswaytowardus.Asherefilledhisgreat-uncle’sglass,hefinally
lookedatme.
“Wealreadymet,”hewhispered.“Kindof.”
“Beckett,”Isaid.“Howareyoufeeling?”
“Almostperfect.”Hepouredwaterintomyglassashe
glancedbackatAlastirbeforedippinghischin.“Thankyou.Ican’tsaythat
enough.”
“Youalreadyhave.”
Awide,toothygrinbrokeoutacrosshisfacebutquickly
faded,andIfeltasharpspikeof…offearbeforehemovedontothe
othersideofthetable.
Washenowafraidofme?
Isatbackastheknotinmychestexpanded.Icouldn’t
understandwhy.I’dhealedhim—howI’ddonethat,Ihadnoidea—butBecketthad
toknowthatIwasn’tsomeonetofear.
“Penellaphe?Areyouallright?”
AraggedbreathleftmeasIlookedatAlastir.“Yeah.Yes.”
IsmiledasIturnedmyattentionbacktohim.“Theyseemveryhelpful.Beckett
andQuentyn.”
“Respectingyoureldersisdrilledintotheyoungfroma
veryearlyage.Youwilloftenfindtheyoungesthelpingtoservefoodand
drinkatmanydinnertablesthroughoutAtlantia,”Casteelexplained,having
overheardme.
Alastirsnorted.“Exceptforyou.Youalwayshadyournose
inabookatthedinnertable.”
SurprisedistractedmefromBeckett’sresponse.“Whatwere
youreading?”
“Usuallyhistorybooksormystudies,”heanswered,oneside
ofhislipstippingup.“Iwasanutterlyboringchildmostofthetime.”
MyeyesconnectedwithKieran’sbriefly,remindingmeof
whathe’dsharedaboutCasteelbeingtheseriousone.
“Well,yourbrothermadeupforthat,”Alastirsaid,shaking
hishead.“Youdidn’twantMalikservingyouanythingatdinner.”
MygazeflewbacktoCasteel,andIwatchedhissmilegrow.
Ididn’tknowwhatIexpected,butitwassorarethatanyonespokeofhisbrother.
“Malikwouldoften…experimentwiththedrinksandfood,”
Casteelsaidwhenhecaughtmygaze.“Andyoudidnotwanttobeonthe
receivingendofthoseexperiments.”
“I’mhalfafraidtoask,”Isaid.
“Butyouwill,”Kieranmurmured.
Iignoredthewolven.
SodidCasteel.“Hewouldaddlemonandpeppertojuice,
salttodishesmeanttobesweet,andgenerallyruinwhateveritwasthatyou
wereexcitedtoeat.”
“That’sterrible,”Isaid,laughing.
Heleanedover,lashesloweringashesaid.“Andyet,you
laugh.”
“Yes.”
Casteelliftedhisgaze,andtheheatinitsentashiver
dancingovermyskin.“Probablybecauseitsoundslikesomethingyou’ddo.”
“Possibly.”
Hechuckledashestraightened,turningbacktotheother
tableashereturnedtopickingthroughthecheese.
“Howmany—?”IstoppedasCasteel’shandbrushedmine.He
placedahunkofcheeseonmyplate,onethathadbeenthinlysliced.Iglanced
overathim.Hewasnowlisteningtoanothermortalfromthetablebehindours.
“Thankyou.”
Henodded.
Ipickedupthecheese,smilingslightlybeforeeatinga
pieceofit.Asuddenburstoflaughterdrewmyattention.Kieranhadrisen,
movedtositwithafewmenattheendofthetable.Thelaughhadcomefrom
whereBeckettandQuentynsatwithEmilandsomeothermenwho’dtraveledwith
Alastir.WonderingwhathadmadeEmillaughsoloudly,Ituggedmyattention
away.
Mygazecollidedwiththatoftwomortals.Theywereolder.
Males.Oneofthemspokeintheother’sear.Thesecondmanwithneatlytrimmed
blondhaircurledhislip.Hisdisgustsouredthecheese
Itookadrink,washingawaythetaste.Thatwasn’tthe
firstunfriendlystareormannerismI’dreceived,alldonewhenCasteelwas
distracted—likenow,sincehe’drisentospeakwithawomanwhowasallbones
andwrinkledskin.Mygriptightenedontheglass.EachtimeIcaughtoneof
theirlooksorstares,Iwantedtoaskiftheyneededassistancewithsomething.
IwantedtoholdtheirstaresuntiltheygrewasuncomfortableasIfelt,butI
saidnothing.Ididnothing.JustlikewhenthePriestessscoldedme,orthe
Dukelecturedme.
“Don’tpaythemanymind,”Alastirmurmuredquietly.
Iplacedmyglassonthetable.
“Theyjustdon’tknowyou,”herepeated.Hissmilewasas
falseastheoneIoftenworeastheMaiden.“Theirdistrustorevendislikeof
youissomethingyoumustgetusedtoastheirPrincessandsoon-to-beQueen.”
Queen
Myentirebodyseized.Thatwasn’tgoingtohappen,Ireminded
myself.EveniftheimpossiblehappenedandCasteelandI—well,Icouldn’teven
finishthatthought.Casteeldidn’twanttobecomeKing.
“Ifyoudon’twishtostepbackandremoveyourselffrom
thissituation,thenyoucan’tletitshowthattheirfeelingsaregettingto
you.Youcan’tletCasteelknow,lestwehaveanotherLandellsituationonour
hands,”hecontinued.“Idon’tknowforsurewhathefeelsforyou,butone
thingisevident.Hewillactuponanyperceivedinsulttoyourhonor.Thereis
powerthere,Penellaphe.Youaretheneckthatturnstheheadofthekingdom.”
Istaredathim.
“I’msorry.Youprobablydon’tunderstandanyofthat.You
weren’tpreparedforthis.That’snotyourfault,”hesaid,andyet,itsortof
feltlikeitwas.“Noneofthisis.Hisengagementtoyouisutterlyunexpected.”
“I’msuretheirdislikeofmehasmoretodowithwhoIwas
andnotthatI’mmarryingtheirPrince.”Ithoughtaboutthat.“Orit’san
equalcombinationofthetwo.”
“That,andtheyhaveallheardthatheoriginallyplannedto
useyouforransom.Theydon’tunderstandhowlovehasblossomedfromthat.
NeitherdoI,evenafterhisclaimsoflove.”
“Strangerthingshavehappened,”ImutteredasCasteelmoved
towardtheentrywayjustasthedooropened.Atallmanwalkedin,blackink
swirlingovertheswarthyskinofbotharms,allthewayuptohisshoulders.
Hishairwasshaggy,asilveryhuethathadnothingtodowithhisage.There
wereonlyfaintlinesatthecornersofhiseyeswhenhesmileduponseeingCasteel.
“I’msuretheyhave,”
Alastirsaid,loweringhisvoiceasCasteelclaspedhandswiththe
silvery-hairedman.WasthatJasper?Hewastoofarawayformetoseehiseyes.
“ButI’veknownhimhisentirelife.Moreimportantly,I’veseenhiminlove,Penellaphe.”
Byanactofsheerwill,IkeptmyfaceblankasIlookedat
Alastir.Icouldn’t…Icouldn’tbelievehe’dsaidthat.ButallIfeltfromhim
wasconcern.
“TheywereexpectingsomeoneelseastheirPrincess,”he
wenton.“It’snotjustyou.”
“SomeonewhowasnottheMaiden?”Isurmised.
“Well,ofcourse.Butasyouknow,hewasexpectedtomarry
uponhisreturn—”Hesnappedhismouthshutashisbrowslowered.“Hedidn’t
tellyou?”
Astrangethumpingstartedinmybody.“Didn’ttellme
what?”Alastirstartedtolookaway,butIgrabbedhisarm.“Didn’ttellme
what?”Idemanded.
“Goodgods,thatidioticboy.”Hepinchedthebridgeofhis
nose,andIfelttheflareofannoyanceinhim.“Oneofthesedays,Iwill
learntokeepmymouthshut.”
Isurehopednot,sinceitwascleartherewasalotI’d
neverhearifitweren’tforhim.
“WhydoIhaveafeelingI’mtheidioticboyyouspeakof?”
Casteelaskedashereturnedtohisseat.Thesmileonhisfacefadedashe
tookinAlastir’sandmyexpressions.“Whathaveyoutwobeenwhisperingabout?”
“Idon’tthinknowisthetime—”Alastirstarted.
“Ithinknowistheperfecttime,”Icutin,wellawarethat
thosearounduswerestartingtopayattention.
“AsdoI.”CasteeleyedAlastir.“Speak.”
Thatonecommanddemandedaresponse.Alastirshookhis
head,jawtightashesaid,“Youdidn’ttellherthatyouwerealreadypromised
toanother.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter32
ThesuddenroaringinmyearsmademethinkIhadn’theard
Alastircorrectly.OrmaybeitwasbecausemyheartpoundedsohardthatI’dmisheard.
ButIhadn’t,hadI?Because,suddenly,Iremembered
everythingAlastirhadsaidthemorningImethim.He’dspokenofobligations
uponCasteel’sreturn.Marriagewasdefinitelyanobligation.
Asharpsliceofpaintorethroughmychest.Itfeltlikeacrack,
anditsoundedlikethunderinmyears.Hownooneelsehearditwasbeyondme.
Slowly,asifIwerecaughtinthestagebetweenwakingand
sleep,IturnedtoCasteel.Hewasspeaking,butIcouldn’thearhim,andI
couldn’tbelievewhatI’dheard.
WhatI’djustlearned.
PromisedtoanotherwhenImethimintheRedPearl
andhe’dbeenmyfirstkiss,whenIknewhimasHawkeandhadgrowntotrust
him,desirehim,andcareforhim.Promisedtoanotherwhenhe’dtaken
meunderthewillowandtoldmethathedidn’tcarewhatIwas,butratherwho
Iwas.Whenheshowedmethekindofpleasurewecouldfindwitheachother,
firstintheBloodForestandthenagaininNewHaven.Promisedtoanotherwhen
Ilearnedthetruthofwhohewasandwhenwetookfromeachotherinthewoods
outsideofthekeep,whenIfedhim,andhethankedmeafterward.
Promisedtoanotherwhenheproposedmarriageas
theonlywayforustogetwhatwewanted.Promisedtoanotherwhenhe
saidthatwecouldpretend.PromisedtoanotherasKieranclaimedwe
wereheartmates,andIdecidedtogivehimmyblood.
PromisedtoanotherwhenItoldhiminthecavern
thatithadtobereal
Somehow,eventhoughIknewthatthearrangementbetweenus
hadnotbeenborneoflove,andIwasn’tsureKieranknewwhathewastalking
aboutwhenitcametotheheartmatesthing,thisbetrayalstillstabbedmore
deeplythanallCasteel’sotherbetrayals.
Andifthatwasn’tawake-upcallthatI’dalreadyslipped
toofar,Ididn’tknowwhatwouldbe.
PainIdidn’twanttolayclaimtorippedthroughmeso
fiercelythatIthoughtIwouldbesplitintwo,butsnappingonitsheelswas
anangersointensethatmyentirebodyvibratedwithit.
OnlysecondspassedbetweenwhenAlastirspokeandthe
bitter,acidicburnofragepouringlikearainstormthroughme
“Promisedtoanother?”Idemanded,myvoicesurprisingly
steadybutsodamnraw.Ididn’tcarethatwewereinaroomfullofpeoplewho
dislikedme.
“It’snotwhatyouthink,Penellaphe.”
Mybrowsflewup.“It’snot?BecauseIimaginethatpromised
toanothermeansthesamethinginAtlantiaasitdoesinSolis.”
“Whatitmeansdoesn’tmatter.”Hiseyeswereanicygoldencolor
ashestareddownatmewithanexpressionIcouldn’tbelieveIwasseeing.He
lookedshocked.Helookedangrywithme.AndIcouldnotbelievewhat
Iwashearingorseeingorliving.
Andhefeltangry.EvenwithmyownvolatileemotionsI
couldstillfeelthecoolsplashofsurprisefromhimandtheburnofangerunderneath
it.
“Howcouldyou—?”hestarted,jawflexing.Hischestrose
withaheavybreath.“ThepromisewasanoathInevertook.DidI,Alastir?”He
torehisgazefromme.“Canyouclaimotherwise?”
“Itwasallbutagreedto,”Alastirresponded.Hisanger
burnedthroughmysenses,scorchingmyskin.“Youknowwhatyourfatherhas
plannedfordecades,Casteel.”
Decades.
ApartofmerecognizedthatCasteeldeniedwhatAlastirhad
statedandthatAlastirhadbasicallyconfirmedsuch.So,therewasaslight
lesseningofmyfury,ahalttothecontinuingcrackinginmychest,butthe
painandtheangerwerestillthere.Thishadbeendiscussedfordecades?
ForlongerthanI’dactuallybreathedlife?DiditnotoccurtoCasteeltotell
meanyofthis?Towarnme?Ipulledmysensesback,closingthemdown.
Vaguely,Ibecameawareofthesilver-hairedmanandKieran
approaching.Theywerecloseenoughtoheareverything—closeenoughformeto
seethatthenewcomerwasawolven,andthatthecurveofhisjawandthelines
ofhischeekseemedfamiliar.
“YoumeanthatfordecadesmyfatherassumedthatIwould
eventuallyagree,butnotoncedidIevergivehimoranyoneanindicationof
such,”Casteelfiredback.“Youknowthat.Howintheworlddidthisevencomeup?”
“Howintheworlddidyounotthinktotellher?”Alastir
demanded.
TherewasasoftinhalefromthetablesofDescenters,and
thesilver-hairedmanmurmured,“Ihavethebesttiming.”
Mygazeshottohisandlocked.Thepaleblueeyesflared
brightly,nearlyluminousashislipsparted.Theymoved,buttherewasno
sound.Hissurprisewaslikefreezingrain,suddenandall-consuming.Hejerked,
takingastepback.Wasitmyscars?Ordidhefeelthatweirdstaticcharge
eventhoughwedidn’ttouch?
“DoyouthinkIdon’tknowwhyyoubroughtthisup?”Casteel
queriedinavoicetoosoft,snappingmyattentionbacktohim.“Itisweakof
you.”
Alastirtensedbesideme.“Didyoujustcallmeweak?”
AsmirktwistedCasteel’slips.“Whatyoujustdidwasweak
ofyou.Ifyouthinkthatequatestoweaknessofmindorbody,thatisonyou.
Notme.”
Thewolvenhadrecoveredfromhisreactiontome.Heplaced
hishandsonthetable,andwhenhespoke,hisvoicewaslow.“Youshouldboth
calmdown.”
“I’mperfectlycalm,Jasper,”Casteelreplied.
ThiswasJasper.Thewolvenwhowassupposedto
marryus.Great.
“Sinceyou’reboundanddeterminedtohavethisconversation
rightnowwhenyoushould’vehaditinprivateagesago,thenlet’shaveitout
foralltowitnesssinceeveryoneherehasbeenthinkingitfromthemoment
theylearnedofyourengagement,”Alastirsnarled.“Youmaynothaveagreed,but
anentirekingdom,includingGianna,believedyouwouldmarryuponyour
return.”
WhointhehellwasGianna?Wasthathername?Theonethe
KingandQueenexpectedCasteeltomarrywhenhereturned?
“ThishasnothingtodowithGianna,”Casteelreplied
curtly.
“Icanactuallyagreewiththat,”Alastirreturned.“Ithas
everythingtodowiththekingdom—yourlandandyourpeopleandyourobligation
tothem.MarryingGiannawould’vestrengthenedtherelationshipbetweenthewolven
andtheAtlantians.”
Jasper’sheadsnappedinAlastir’sdirection.“Youareoverstepping,
Alastir.Youdonotspeakfortheentiretyofourpeople.”
Theolderwolvenburnedwithragebesideme,buttherewasa
connectionthere,onethatharkenedbacktoLandell,tooneofthethingshe’d
saidinresponsetoCasteelstatinghisintentiontomakemethePrincess.He’d
saidthatitwassupposedtobeanhonormeanttobringalloftheirpeople
together.
“Iknowwhatmyobligationsare.”Casteel’swordsfelllike
chipsofice.“AndIknowexactlywhatmyfatherexpectsofme.Thosetwothings
arenotmutuallyexclusive,norwouldmarryingawolvensuddenlyerasethe
deathsofoverhalfoftheirpeople.Anyonewhobelievesthatisafool.”
“Ididn’tsayI
agreedwithit.”Alastirpickeduphisdrink.
“Perhapsthisconversationshouldoccuratanothertime,”
Emilstressed,havingmovedtoAlastir’sside.HelookedtoJasperasifto
say,“dosomething.”
JaspersatinthechairKieranhadoccupied,andquite
frankly,hestaredatAlastirasifhehopedthemanwouldcontinue.
“Youmeanwhenwedon’thaveoneofthemsitting
rightthere?”amanspoke,anAtlantianwhoIthoughthadbeenatthehouse
Beckettwasinjuredat.“Whowasraisedinthepitofvipersandismostlikely
justaspoisonousasthenestshegrewupin?Whenwearethisclose
tofinallyseekingretributionagainstthem?”
Casteelopenedhismouth,butsomethingunlockedinsideme,
raisingitshead.Andwhateveritwasbreathedfire.Yearsofgroomingto
remainsilentanddemure,toallowpeopletodoandsaywhatevertheywantedto
mecaughtfireandburnedtoembersandash.Iwassimplyfasterinmy
response.“I’mnotoneofthem,”Isaid,andthefocusoftheentire
roomshiftedinmydirection.AllexceptCasteel.Hestillwatchedthe
Atlantian,andIhadawickedsuspicionthatweweresecondsawayfrom
repeatingwhathadhappenedtoLandell.“IwastheirMaiden,andeventhoughI
suspectedtheAscendedwerehidingthings,Ifullyadmittonotopeningmyeyes
towhotheytrulywereuntilImetCasteel.ButIwasneveroneofthem.”Imet
theAtlantian’sstare,tastinghisangeranddistrust,feelingitswellinside
me,fuelingmyburningfuryasifhewerealitmatch.“Andthenexttimeyou
wanttocallmeapoisonousviper,atleasthavethecouragetodosowhile
lookingmestraightintheeye.”
Silence.
Ianwould’vesaiditwassosilentyoucouldhearacricket
sneeze.
AndthenJasperletoutalowwhistle.
TheAtlantiansnappedoutofhisstupor.“Youweretheir
Maiden.TheChosen.TheQueen’sfavorite.Isn’tthatwhattheysay?”
“Dante,”Emilwarned,shootingthefair-hairedAtlantiana
sharplook.“Nooneaskedforyouropiniononthis.”
“ButI’mgladhegaveitsinceI’mwellawarethatheisnot
theonlyonethinkingthis,”Isaid,flickingmygazeovertheroom.“Yes,I
wastheQueen’sfavorite,andIwasraisedinacagesoprettythatittooka
verylongtimeformetoseeitforwhatitwas.TheAscendedplannedtousemy
bloodtomakemorevamprys.ThatwaswhyIwastheirMaiden.Wouldyoufeelloyalty
toyourcaptors?BecauseIdonot.”
Casteellookedatmethen,hisgazestillicy,butsomething
elsemovedinthosedepths.Therewasnotimetofigureoutwhatitwas.Andat
themoment,Ifranklydidn’tcare.
“Ifthatisthetruth,thenIsaluteyou.”Danteraiseda
glass.“Weallsaluteyou,andImeanthatseriously.It’strulyfewandfar
betweenthesedaysthatanyonefromSolishashadtheireyesopened.Nooffense
tothosewhohavewhoarepresent.”
TherewereseveralmurmursbeforeDantecontinued.“Tolearn
thatyou’reofAtlantiandescentdoesexplainwhyyou’reimportanttothem,but
you—”
“Areofbetterusetoyoudead?”IinterruptedasQuentyn
andBeckettcameoutofthekitchen,carryingfreshlybakedbread.They
stopped,theireyeswidening.
Danteloweredhisglass,staringatme.
“IknowmanyofyouwouldprefertosendmebacktoQueen
Ileanainpieces,asdoestheKing,I’msure.”Iliftedmychinevenasafine
tremorshookmyhands.“Partofmecan’tblameanyofyouforwantingthat,especially
afterlearningthetruthaboutthem.”
AmuscleclenchedintheAtlantian’sjaw,butitwasAlastir
whospoke.“Itoldyou,Casteel.Isaidthatyouwouldencounterpushbackif
youproceededwiththis.”
SodidLandell.
“AndwhatdidItellyouwhenyousaidthatbefore?”Casteel
asked.
“Thatthisiswhatyouwant.Thatsheiswhatyouwant,”
Alastirsaid,andmyhearttwistedinmychest.“AndyouknowIwanttobelieve
that.Everyoneinthisroomdoes.”
Idoubtedthat.
“AndtheKingandQueenwillwanttobelievethat,”Alastir
said.“EspeciallyEloana.Butyou’vespentdecadestryingtofreeyourbrother
insteadofacceptingwhattherestofushavecometotermswith.Yourefused
yourdutiestoyourpeoplebecauseyouweren’treadytolethimgo,something
thatIcouldunderstandevenifitpainedme.Thelasttimeyouleft,youhad
toknowthattherewasnolongeranyhopethathe’dreturntous,butyoustill
went,goneforyears—goneforsolongthatyourmotherbegantofearthatyou
toohadsufferedthesamefateasMalik,”hesaid,andmyheartsqueezedfora
whollydifferentreasonwhileCasteelshowednoreaction.“Butyou’rereturning
homewiththemostguardedjeweloftheAscended.Therearefewwhotruly
believethisdoesn’thaveanythingtodowithyourbrother.”
“IfIhadn’tacceptedmybrother’sfate,Iwouldn’tbeleaving
Solis,”Casteelsaid,andonlyKieranandIknewhowmuchitcosthimtospeak
thosewords.“It’snosecretthatIplannedtousePenellapheasransom.Ispent
thoseyearsfarfromhomeworkingtogetclosetoher.”Thishedirectednot
justtoAlastirbuttotheentireroom.“Isucceeded,andwhenthetimewas
right,Imademymove.Itookher.”
Casteelspokethetruththatwasstillhardtohear.“Itook
her,andIkepther,butnottouseher.Somewherealongtheway,Inolonger
sawherasabargainingchiporatoolforrevenge.Isawherforwhoshewas.
Whosheis—thisbeautiful,strong,intelligent,endlesslycuriousandkind
womanwhowasasmuchavictimoftheAscendedasanyAtlantians.Ifellin
lovewithher,probablylongbeforeIevenrealizedIhad.”Helaughed,the
soundrough.Andgods,itsoundedsorealthatmythroatknotted.“Myplans
changed.WhatIbelievedaboutMalikchanged.AndthiswasbeforeIlearned
whatshewas.ThatsheispartAtlantian.SheisthereasonIcamehome.”
MygazecollidedwithKieran’s,andhenoddedasifto
confirmwhatCasteelsaid.
Buthowcoulditbe?
Whenhe’dbeenexpectedtomarrysomeoneelsefordecades
andneveroncetoldme?Thenagain,hehadyettoreallysayawordaboutShea.
Pressingmylipstogether,Ilookedaway.Ifonlyallof
whathe’dsaidwastrue.Thefuturewouldbedifferent.Everythingwouldbe
different.Iwishedhehadn’tspokenthosewordsatall.
TheoldwomanCasteelhadtalkedtoearlierspokeup.“Andyou
knewthatheoriginallyplannedtouseyou?”
“Ididn’tatfirst,notuntilafterhe’dalreadygainedmy
trustandthatoftheAscendedinchargeofme.WhenIfoundout…”Itrailedoff,
thinkingmyreactionwasbestnotknown.
“Shestabbedmeintheheartwithabloodstonedagger,”
Casteelfinishedinstead.
TheoldwomanblinkedwhileJaspergaveasuddenbarkof
laughter.“I’msorry,”hesaid.“Butdamn…areyouforreal?”
“It’strue,”Kieranconfirmed.“Shethoughtitwouldkill
him.”
EmilstartedtogrinbutonelookfromCasteelstoppedthat
initstracks.
Shiftinginthesuddenlyuncomfortablechair,Iwonderedhow
intheworldthatpieceofknowledgehelpedanything.“Iwasalittleangry.”
Casteelarchedabrowasheglancedatme.“Alittle?”
Inarrowedmyeyes.“Okay.Iwasveryangry.”
“Ididn’tknowthat,”Alastirsaidfrombehindtherimof
hiscup.
“Obviously,Casteeltakesafterhisfatherwhenitcomesto
womenwithsharpobjects,”Jaspercommentedwithasnort.“IfeellikeI’m
missingsomevitalinformationthatDelanoconvenientlyleftoutwhenhemetme
halfway.”
Ifrowned,butatleastIknewwhereDelanohadbeen.
“YoustabbedCasteel?”Jasperrepeated.“Intheheart?With
bloodstone.Andyouthoughtitwouldkillhim?”
“Inmydefense,Ifeltbadafterward.”
“Shedidcry,”Casteelremarked.
Iwasgoingtostabhimagain.
“ButItrustedhim,andhebetrayedthat,”Icontinued.“I
wastheMaiden,nearlygroomedmyentirelifetoremainpureandfocusedonly
onmyAscension.IwasChosentobegiventothegods,eventhoughInever
chosethelife.AndIdon’tknowwhatyouknowofme,butIhadnocontrolover
whereIwent,whoIspoketoorcouldspeakwith.Iwasveiled,unabletoeven
looksomeoneintheeyeiftheywereallowedtospeakwithme.Ididn’tgetto
choosewhatIate,whenIleftmychambers,orwhowasallowedtoeventouch
me.ButhewasthefirstthingI’devertrulychosenformyself.”
Myvoicecrackedslightlyastheknotexpanded.Itooka
shallowbreath,feelingCasteel’sgazeonme,butIrefusedtolookathim.I
couldn’t,becauseIdidn’twanttoknowwhathewasfeeling
“IchosehimwhenIknewhimasHawke,”Iforcedmyselftocontinue,
tosaywhatIneededtosaysothateveryoneintheroomcouldhearmeevenif
itfeltlikeIwasscrapingatawoundinmychestwithrustynails.“Ididn’t
knowwhatthatwouldmeanatthattime,otherthanIwantedtohavesomething
thatIactuallywantedformyself.I’dalreadybeguntoquestionthings—theAscended
andifIcouldbeordowhattheyrequiredofme.I’dalreadybeguntorealize
thatIcouldn’tlivelikeIwasanylonger.ThattheMaidenwasn’tme,andI
wasbetterandstrongerandmeantforsomethingotherthanthat.Buthe…hewas
thecatalystinaway.AndIchosehim.Ichosehimbecausehemademefeel
likeIwassomethingotherthantheMaiden,andhesawmewhennoone
elseeverreallydid.Hemademefeelalive.HevaluedmeforwhoIamand
didn’ttrytocontrolme.AndthenitallseemedlikealieonceIrealizedthe
truthofwhohewasandwhyhewasapartofmylife.”
NeitherAlastirnorJasperspoke.Icouldstillfeel
Casteel’sstare.
Iswallowed,buttheknotwasstillthere.“So,yes,Iwas
veryangry,butwhatIfeltforhimbeforeremained,andafterlearningthe
entiretruthabouttheAscendedandwhathadhappenedtohimandtohisbrother,
Icouldunderstandwhyhesetouttouseme.Thatdoesn’tmeanthatitwas
okay,butIcouldunderstandwhy.Irefusedhisproposalatfirst,justsoyouknow.
Acceptinghimand…andallowingmyselftofeelwhatIdidforhimwasabetrayal
tothosewhowerelostinallofthis,anditfeltlikeabetrayaltomyself.
ButIstillchosehimdespiteitall.”
Iclosedmyeyes.Upuntilthismoment,I’dspokenthe
truth,someofitnewtome,andIdidsoforthefirsttimeinfrontof
Casteel.Whatcamenextwaseasierbecauseitwasthelie.“We’vemovedpast
howwemet.Atleast,Ihave.Helovesme,andIwouldn’tbehereinaroom
fullofpeoplewhohavespenttheentiredinnerstaringatmeindistasteor
distrust,”—Iopenedmyeyes,slowlylookingacrossthetable,tothetwomortal
men—“ifwhatwefeltforoneanotherwasn’treal.Isurelywouldnotbeonmy
waytoanentirekingdomwhowilllikelywhispereachtimetheyseeme,
distrusteverythingthereisaboutme,andlookuponmeasifIdeservenot
evenminimalrespect.”
Thetwomenlookedaway,theircheeksflushing.
“I…”Dantesatdown.“Idon’tknowwhattosay.”
“You,”—Casteelclearedhisthroat—“youdon’thavetosay
anything.You,allofyou,justneedtoacceptthatthisisreal.”
Real
Alastirleanedback,hisgazeheavyandsomber.
ItwasJasperwhospoke,withafaintliftofhislips.“If
you’vechosenher,thenhowcanwenotdothesame?”
Hatred.
ThatwaswhatItastedinthebackofmythroat,whatI
inhaledwitheverybreathasIsatatthetable.Itcamefromdifferent
directionsatdifferenttimes,pingingaroundtheroomeventhoughmostofthe
tensionhadleftonceitdidn’tappearasifCasteelwouldtearoutthehearts
ofAlastirorDante.Mostreturnedtotheirdinnersandconversation.Exceptfor
Casteel,whowatchedme,andthesilver-hairedwolvenwhoalsostudiedmeasif
Iweresomesortofpuzzle.
Butseveralothersintheroomdidn’tstareandremained
silent.Peoplewhohadn’tprojectedtheiremotionsbeforebutdidsonow.
TheirangercoatedeverydrinkItookorpieceoffoodI
swallowedwithabittertaste.Ittooknoleapoflogictorealizethatthey
weren’thappywithwhatCasteelorJasperhadsaid.NoranythingI’dsaidhad
changedwhattheybelievedofme.Itwasn’tallofthem,thankthegods,butit
wasenoughformetoknowthatIwasstillnotwelcomehere.
Restlessnesshummedthroughme,analmostnervoussortof
energyasItriedandfailedtoshutofftheemotionsofothers.Ididn’tknow
whyIcouldn’twhenreadingtheemotionsonlywhenIwantedtohadbecomeso
mucheasierthroughouttheday.WasitbecauseIwastired?Maybeitwaswhat
happenedwithBeckettorpossiblyevenwhatI’ddoneinthecavernwith
Casteel.
OrperhapsitwaslearningthatCasteelhadkeptyetanother
thingfromme?
Itwasprobablyallofthosethingsthatplayedaroleinmy
suddenfailuretoshutdownmyabilities.
Ilookedatmyplateofmostlyuntouchedfood,andI…I
simplydidnotwanttosithereanylonger.
AndIwastiredofdoingthingsIdidn’twanttodo.
“Excuseme,”Isaidtonooneinparticular,risingfrommy
seat.
JasperwatchedmebutsaidnothingasIsteppedaroundthe
chair.Iwalkedpastthetables,awareofconversationshaltingasIpassed.Ikept
mychinhigh,wishingI’dhadtheforethoughttogothroughtheclothingVonetta
hadbroughtover.Nothingtookthedignityoutofone’sexitlikewearingclothing
severalsizestoolarge.
ButIdoubtedbeingdressedinprettytunicsoreventhe
richestofgownswould’vechangedadamnthing.
Ipushedopenoneofthedoorsandsteppedoutside,dragging
indeepbreathscleanofothers’emotions.Starshadalreadystartedtoglimmer
inthedeepeningsky,andIstaredupward.Iwasfinallyabletoclosemyself
off.
Turning,IspottedDelanoandNaillsittingonthecrumbling
wallthatledtotheBay.Ididn’ttrytoreadthem,anditworked.Their
emotionsweren’tforcedontome.
“Youlooklikeyoucoulduseadrink.”Delanoofferedthe
bottleofbrownliquidheheld.“It’swhiskey.”
Iwalkedover,takingthebottlebytheneck.“Thankyou,”I
said,liftingit.Thewoodyaromawaspowerful.
“Tasteslikehorsepiss,”Naillsaid.“Fairwarning.”
Inodded,tippingthebottletomymouthandtakingalongswallow.
Theliquorburnedmythroatandeyes.Coughing,Ipressedthebackofmyhandto
mymouthasIhandedthebottletoDelano.“Idon’tknowwhathorsepisstastes
like,butI’msurethat’sagoodcomparison.”
Naillchuckled.
“Weweregettingreadytoheadinthere.”Delanostretched
outhislegs,crossingthemattheankles.“Butwefiguredwe’dwaituntilthe
airclearedabit.”
“Goodchoice,”Imuttered.
“Looksliketheroomisairingoutnow.”Naill’sgaze
flickedovermyshoulder.
Themusclesinthebackofmynecktightened.“Pleasetell
methat’snothim.”
“Well,Isupposeitdependsonwhohimis,”Delano
drawled.
IturnedtoseeCasteelcomingdownthestepsandacrossthe
shortdistancethatseparatedus,hisgazelockedontomine.
“Ihaveafeelingtheairisgoingtogetabitthickout
here.”Naillhoppedoffthewall.“Ithinkit’stimeweheadinside.”
“Wisecall,”Casteelremarked,hisgaze,nearlyferal,never
leavingmine.
Delanopushedoffthewall.“Please,nostabbing.Allofthat
makesmeanxious.”
Icrossedmyarms.“Nopromises.”
CasteelsmirkedbutsaidnothingasNaillandDelanomade
theirwaybackintothefort.Hestaredatme.
Istaredathim.“Doyouneedsomething?”
“That’saloadedquestion.”
“Iwashopingitwasarhetoricalonewiththeanswerbeing:
obviously,no,”Isaid.
“Sorrytodisappointyou,”hereplied.“Whydidyouleave?”
“Iwantedafewmomentstomyself,butapparently,that
isn’tgoingtohappen.”
Amuscleflexedinhisjaw.“I’msorry,Poppy.”
MybrowsliftedasIfocusedonhim.Therewasstilla
potentthreadofangerinhim,andIdidn’tdelvedeeperintothelayersof
emotions.“Aboutwhatexactly?”
“Aboutmorethanonething,apparently,”hereplied,andmy
eyesnarrowed.“ButI’dliketostartwithhowmypeoplehavebehavedtoward
you.Ihatethatthey’vemadeyoufeelsounwelcome,andIhatethatyouknow
howtheyfeel.Icanpromiseyouthatwillchange.”
“You…youreallybelievethatyoucanchangethat?You
can’t,”Itoldhimbeforeheanswered.“Theywilleitheracceptmeornot.
Eitherway,Iexpectedthis,andthere’snowayyoudidn’t.YoujusthopedI
wouldn’treadthem.”
“Iwishedyouwouldn’thaveknown,”hecorrected.
“HowcouldInotwishthat?AndIdobelievehowtheyfeelaboutyouwill
change.”
Pressingmylipstogether,Ilookedaway.Ididn’tthinkit
wasimpossibleforthemtochange.Feelingswerenotstagnant.Neitherwere
opinionsorbeliefs,andifwestoppedbelievingpeoplewerecapableofchange,
thentheworldmightaswellbelefttoburn.
“Weneedtotalkandnotaboutthepeopleinthatroom,”he
said.
Iturnedfromhimtowherethereflectionofthemoonrippled
acrosstheBay.“That’sthelastthingIwanttodorightnow.”
“Doyouhavebetterideas?”Hesteppedcloser,theheatand
scentofhimreachingme.“IknowIdo.”
Mygazeshottohim.“Ifyou’resuggestingwhatIthinkyou
are,Iamgoingtostabyouintheheartagain.”
Casteel’seyesflashedawarmhoney.“Don’ttemptmewith
emptypromises.”
“Youaresotwisted.”
“Alastirwasright.Idotakeaftermyfatherwhenitcomes
towomenwithsharpobjects,”hesaid.
“Idon’tcare.”
Heignoredthat.“Mymotherhasstabbedmyfatheratimeor
adozenovertheyears.Heclaimshedeservediteachtime,andtruthfully,he
neverseemedallthattornupaboutbeingstabbed.Probablyhadsomethingtodo
withthefactthatthey’dbeholedupintheirprivatechambersfordaysafter
aspat.”
“Gladtoknowthedisturbedappledoesn’tfalltoofarfrom
thecrazytree.”
Hechuckled.
Thedooropenedbehindus,andKieranprowledout.“Don’t
yellatme,”hesaidasthedoorswungclosedbehindhim.“Butmyfatherwants
tospeaktoyou.”
“Yourfather?”Ifrowned,andthenitoccurredtome.
“Jasper?”
Kierannodded,andnowIknewwhyIthoughtsomeofJasper’s
featureswerefamiliar.
AmuscleflexedinCasteel’sjawoncemore.“He’sgoingto—”
“GospeakwithJasper,”Icutin.“BecauseasIalready
said,Idon’treallywanttotalktoyourightnow.”
“Keeptellingyourselfthat,andmaybeit’llbetrue.”
CasteelturnedtoKieranasIcamethisclosetopunchinghim.“I
reallyhopeyourfatherhasagoodreasonforwantingtospeakwithmeright
thismoment.”
“Knowinghim,heprobablyjustwantstolaughatyou,”
Kieranreplied.“Sohavefunwiththat.”
CasteelflippedKieranoffashestalkedbacktowardthedoors.
“Veryprincely,”Kierancalledafterhimandthenturnedto
me.“Come,Penellaphe.I’lltakeyoubacktoyourroom.ThenImustensurethat
Casteelactuallydoesn’tendupslaughteringsomeone,becausemyfatherissure
todrivehimcrazy.”
“Idon’t—”Exhalingheavily,Iwastooirritatedtoeven
argue.“Whatever.”
Kieranextendedanarmandwaited.Swallowingamouthfulof
curses,Iwalkedpasthim.
“Thatwasaspectaculardinner,”hesaidasweroundedthe
fortress.
“Wasn’tit?”
Hesnorted.
Neitherofusspokeashewalkedmebacktomyroom.Itwas
onlywhenhewenttoclosethedoorthatIasked,“Yourfatheristhewhat?
Leaderofthewolven?”
“Hespeaksforthem,yes.Bringsanyconcernsorideasto
theKingandQueen.”
RememberingthatVonettaplannedtotravelhometovisit
theirmother,Iasked,“IsyourfathernormallyinSpessa’sEnd?”
“Hecomesquiteregularlytocheckonthewolventhatare
here.Sometimes,ourmothertravelswithhim,butshe’sduesoon.”
Foramoment,whathe’dsaiddidn’tmakesense.Andthenit
did.“Yourmotherispregnant?”
Afaintgrinappeared.“Youlooksosurprised.”
“I’msorry.It’sjustthat…you’rearoundCasteel’sage,right?”
“We’rethesameage.Vonetta—whowon’tbethebabyofthe
familymuchlonger—wasbornsixtyyearsafterme,”heanswered.“Myfatheris
nearlysixhundredyearsold—mymotherfourhundred.NexttoAlastir,heisone
oftheoldestwolvenstillalive.”
“That’sa…hellofanagegapbetweenchildren,”Imurmured.
“Notwhenyouthinkabouthowlongittakestoreara
wolven.Beckettmayresembleamortalwhoisnoolderthanthirteen,butin
reality,heisolderthanyoubymanyyears.SoisQuentyn.”
Thatmadesense.Casteelhadsaidthatagingslowedoncean
AtlantianenteredtheCulling.Quentynmaylookmyageorslightlyyounger,but
hewasmostlikelyyearsolderthanme.“Howdidyourfathercometothis
position?”
“Notmanywolvensurvivedthewar,sotheresimplywasn’ta
lottochoosefrom,”heexplained,andthat…thatwassadtoconsider.“Areyou
surethatiswhatyouwanttoaskmeabout?”
Itwas.
Anditwasn’t.
Anotherquestionburnedthroughme,butIwasn’tgoingto
askthat.
Kieranhesitatedandthennodded.“Thengoodnight,
Penellaphe.”
“Goodnight,”Imurmured,standingthereuntilthedoor
closed.ThenIwasalone.Alonewithonlymyfeelings,myownthoughts.
Promisedtoanother.
WearinessenvelopedmeasIslowlywalkedintothebedroom.
IwenttotheclothingVonettahadbroughtover,relievedtoseenotasingleitem
ofwhite.Ipickedupadarkbluetunicwithfinegoldthreadingalongthehem
andedging.Itwassleevelessandlong,withslitsupthesides.Therewas
anotherthatwasgold,nearlythecolorofanelemental’seyes.Ismoothedmy
handoverthesoft,cottonymaterial.Therewasanothershirtofemeraldgreen,
onewithfrillysleevesandafancyneckline.Isatthetopsaside,findingtwo
pairsofblackleggingsthatwereasthickasbreeches,andbothappearedasif
they’dfitme.Ahoodedcloakmadeofcottonwasfoldedontopofseveralnew
undergarments.Vonettahadmentionedthecloak,andnowthatIsawit,Iknew
shewasrightwhenshe’dsaiditwasfarmoresuitablethantheheavierwinter
cloaks.
Butitwaswhatlayunderneaththatconfusedme.
Itwasasplashofbluenearlyaspaleasawolven’seyes.I
pickeduptheslippery,silkymaterial,myeyeswideningatthetinystrapsand
minimallength.
Thethingwasindecent.
ButthenightgownI’dbeengiveninNewHavenwasfartoo
heavyfornightsthatdidn’tdropbelowfreezing,andthis…thisnightgown
didn’tactuallyrequireasashtostayclosed,sotherewasthat.
Droppingitontothebed,IturnedaroundandIhadnoidea
howlongIstoodtherebeforeIsprangforward,racingbackintothelivingarea.
Iwenttothedoor,placingmyhandsonit.Tentatively,Ireacheddownand
turnedthehandle.
Thedooropened.
Iquicklycloseditandslowlybackedup,waitingforKieran
toreturn,torealizethathe’dleftthedoorunlocked.Whenhedidn’t—whenno
onecame—myhandstrembled.AndwhenIrealizedthatnoonehadlockedthedoor
behindmeearliertodayoreventhefirstnightCasteelandIarrived,myarms
begantoshake.
Iwasn’tcagedanymore.Awillingcaptive.Ijusthadn’t
noticedthatnoneofthedoorshadbeenlockedfromtheoutside.
Gods.
Realizingthatdidsomethingtome.Itunlockedtherawest
emotioninsideme,andithitmehard.Sinkingtothefloor,Iclaspedmyhands
overmyfaceastearspouredfromme.Thedoorswereunlocked.There
werenoguards,noonetogovernme.IfIwanted,Icouldsimplywalkoutand
go…well,whereverIwanted.Ididn’thavetosneakoutorpickalock.The
tears…theywereborneofrelief,andtheyweretingedwithearlierhurtsand
olderonesthathadscarredmanyyearsago.Theywereweightedwiththe
knowledgeoffuturepain,andtheyfellfromtherealizationthattonight,when
Isatatthattable,IhadfinallyshedtheveiloftheMaidenbydefending
myself.Itwasn’tthatIhadn’tdoneitbefore.I’dstoodupformyselfwith
CasteelandKieran,andevenAlastir,buttonightwasdifferent.Becausethere
wasnoreturningtothesilence,tothatsubmission.Itdidn’tmatterifIwas
theneckthatturnedtheheadofakingdomoranoutsiderinaroomfullof
peoplewhohadeveryrighttodistrustme.Stayingsilentwasonlytemporarily
easierthanshatteringthesilence,andthatrealizationwaspainful.Itshone
alightonallthetimesIcould’vespokenup—could’veriskedwhatever
consequences.Allofthosethingsfedmytears.
Icried.Icrieduntilmyheadached.Icrieduntilthere
wasnothingleftinme,andIwasjustahollowvessel,andthen…thenIpulled
myselftogether.
BecauseIwasnolongeracaptive.
IwasnolongertheMaiden.
AndwhatIfeltforCasteel—whatIwasonlybeginningto
accept—wassomethingIhadtodealwith.
WhatIsaidtonightatdinner?Itwastrue.Allofit.Even
thatlastpartwastrue,wasn’tit?ThatevenifIhadn’tentirelyforgivenhim
forhisliesorthedeathshe’dcaused,I’dacceptedthembecausetheywerea
partofhispast—ourpast—andtheydidn’tchangehowIfelt,rightorwrong.
ThatwaswhatI’ddeniedforsolong.
Ilovedhim.
Iwasinlovewithhim,eventhoughthatlovehadbeenbuilt
onafoundationoflies.IlovedhimeventhoughtherewassomuchIdidn’tknow
abouthim.IlovedhimeventhoughIknewIwasawillingpawntohim.
Andthisdidn’thappenovernight.Itshouldn’tcomeasashock,
becauseIwasalreadyinlovewithhimthemomentmyheartbrokewhenIlearned
thetruthofwhohewas.IfellinlovewithhimwhenhewasHawke,andIkept
fallingonceIlearnedthathewasCasteel.AndIknewitwasn’tbecausehewas
myfirsteverything.Iknewitwasn’tmynaivetyorlackofexperience.
Itwasbecausehemademefeelseen,andhemademe
feelaliveevenwhenIgenuinelywantedtocausephysicalharmtohim.
Ikeptfallingwhenheneveroncetoldmenottopickupaswordorbowand
insteadhandedonetome.IfellandfellwhenIrealizedthatCasteelwore
manymasksformanyreasons.WhatIfeltonlygrewwhenIrealizedthathe
would,infact,killwhoeverinsultedme,nomatterhowwrongthatwas.And
thatlove…itentrencheditselfdeeplywhenIrealizedthekindofstrengthand
willhehadwithinhimtosurvivewhathehadandtostillfindthe
piecesofwhoheusedtobe.
Andthecatchinmybreath,theshiverandtheachewhenever
helookedatme,whenhiseyeswereliketwingoldenflames,wheneverhe
touchedme,itwentbeyondlust.Ididn’tneedexperiencetorecognizethe
difference.Hedidn’thavepiecesofme.Hehadmywholeheart,andhehadfrom
themomentheallowedmetoprotectmyself,fromthemomenthestoodbesideme
insteadofinfrontofme.
Andthatrealizationwasterrifying.Scaredmemorethanahorde
ofCravenormurderousAscendedevercould.BecauseIhadtodealwithwhat
Casteelfeltandwhathedidn’t.
ThereasonCasteelhadn’ttoldmeaboutthisGiannawasthe
samereasonhehadn’ttoldmeabouttheJoiningoraboutSpessa’sEnd.Kieran
couldberight,andhecouldbewrong.Casteelmaycareforme—careforme
enoughtonotwanttoseeundueharmbefallme,andCasteeldidwantme
physically,butthatdidn’tmeanwewereheartmates.Thatdidn’t
Ihadtodeal.
AndIwould.
BecausemyagreementwithCasteelremained.Iwouldn’tback
outbecauseofhowIfeltorthatmyfeelingswerehurt.Mybrotherwasmore
importantthanthat.
Iliftedmyhead,blearyeyesfocusedontheancientstone
walls.ThepeopleofSolisweremoreimportantthanhowIfelt,sowereall
thosewhocalledAtlantiahome.Casteel’sbrotherwasmoreimportant,aswere
allthosenamesonthewallsoftheundergroundchambers.
CasteelandIcouldchangethings.WecouldstoptheAscended,
andthatwaswhatmattered.
Climbingtomyfeet,Ishakilymademywaytothesmallbathing
chamber,gratefulthatCasteelhadn’treturnedwhileI’dbeenhavingacomplete
breakdownandmomentofrealization.Isplashedawaythetearsstainingmyface
andthenundressed,pullingonthenightgownthatcouldbarelybecalled
clothing.Thecoolmaterialskimmedmybreastsandhips,endingjustbelowmy
rear.Tomorrow,Iwouldquestionwhetherornotwomenactuallysleptin
this…thisscrapofsilk,buttonight,Iwastootiredtoevenbeconcernedwith
it.Afterlockingthedoors,Itookmydaggertothebed,placinginunderthe
pillow.Pullingtheblanketupoverme,Itriednottothinkabouthow
everythingsmelledofCasteel.Iclosedmyachingeyes,andaswearyasIwas
fromeverything,Iimmediatelydriftedintotheoblivionofnothing.
Itwasthebedshiftingunderunexpectedweightthatwokeme
sometimelater.Rollingontomyside,Islippedthedaggerfromunderthe
pillow.
Ahandcaughtmywristintheshadowsoftheroom,anda
voicewhispered,“Areyougoingtostabmeintheheart?Again?”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter33
Thescentofrichspiceandpinereachedmethesecondafter
thewords.
Casteel.
Myracingheartdidn’tslow.“Whydon’tyouletgoofmy
wristandfindout?”
“ThatsoundslikeayesifIeverheardone,”herepliedas
myeyesadjusted.Theglowofthelampoutsidethecanopycastmostofhimin
shadow,buthewascloseenoughthatIcouldseethearchofabrowandthe
amusedtilttohislips.
Promisedtosomeoneelse.
Angerwasaheatwavethatsweptawayanylingeringsleep.
“Letmego.”
“Idon’tknowifIshould.”Histhumbmovedinanidle
circlealongtheinsideofmywristashesaid,“Someoneislikelytobevery
irritatedifyoustabme,andIendupbleedingalloverthebed.”
“Youcouldalwayscleanupafteryourself.”
“There’ssomethinginnatelywrongwiththeideaofbeing
stabbedandthenhavingtocleanupmyownblood.”
Ipushedagainsthishold,butmyhandremainedpinnedto
thebed.“There’ssomethinginnatelywrongwithyoubeinginhere!Howdidyou
evengetin?Ilockedthedoors.”
“Didyou?”
“Idid…”Isighed.“Key.Youhaveakey.”
“Perhaps.”Hisheadtilted.“Haveyoubeencrying?”
“What?No,”Ilied.
“Thenwhyareyoureyesswollen?”
“ProbablybecauseI’mtired.Iwassleeping,butyouwokeme
up.”
“Iwantedtocomebacksooner—itseemsIalwayswanttocome
backsooner,”hesaid,seemingtohaveacceptedmyanswer.“Especiallywhen
you’rewearingsomethingsointeresting.”
Theblankethadslippedtomywaistinsleep,exposingthelow
necklineofthenightgown.Heatcreptdownmyneckandacrosstheswellsofmy
breasts.“Itwastheonlythinginhereformetowearotherthantherobe.”
“Ilikeit.”Heshifted,seemingtogetcomfortableashe
reachedoutwithhisotherhand,fingeringthestrap.“Suchridiculous,tiny
straps.Ilikethem.”
Iknockedhishandaway.“Youcanletgo.I’mnotgoingto
stabyou.”
“Ifindthatoddlydisappointing.”
“AndIfindthatextremelydisturbing.”
Helaugheddeeply,lettinggoofmywrist.Istartedto
move,buthewassomuchfaster,shiftingsohewasaboveme.Thewarmthofhis
bodypressedagainstmychestasoneofhislonglegsendedupbetweenmine,
shortingoutmysenses.Aflashofheatrolledthroughmeaseverypartofmy
bodybecameoverlyawareofhowclosehewas.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Idemanded.
“Makingsureyou’recomfortable.”
“Andhowwillyouaccomplishthatbylyingontopofme?”
“Iwon’t.”Ashadowygrinappeared.“I’mdoingthatbecause
Ilikelyingontopofyou.”
“Well,Idon’t,”Ibitout,pulsethundering.
Hischestbrushedagainstmine,sendingavelvetshiver
throughme.“That’salie.”
“It’snot.”Iliftedthedaggertohisneck.“Truly.”
“Doyourememberwhathappenedthelasttimeyouhelda
daggertomythroat?”Hisfingertipstouchedmycheekandslidlower,overmy
jaw.“Ido.”
Alickofpleasurefollowedhisfingers.“Thatwasa
temporarylossofsanity.”
“That’smyfavoritekind.”Hedraggedhisfingersdownmy
throatandoverthelineofmycollarbone.“Ireallydolikethesestraps.”
“Ireallydon’tcare.”
Hisfingersslippedunderitashishandcurvedonmy
shoulder.“Youliesosweetly.”
Iignoredthat.“Casteel—”
“Butnotassweetlyasyousaymyname.”
Iletoutalittlegrowl.“Youare…”
“Marvelous?Charming?Undeniable?”
“Increasinglyannoying.”
“Butyoustillhaven’tusedthatdaggeratmyneck.”
“I’mtryingtothinkofthepeoplewhowillhavetocleanup
themess.”
“Howthoughtfulofyou.”Hetoyedwiththestrap.“HaveI
toldyouthatyou’rebeautiful?”
“What?”Theshiftinconversationthrewme.
“Imighthave,butIcouldn’trememberifIdid,”hewent
on,tugginggentlyonthestrap.“ThenIthoughtthatitwasn’tsomethingyou
couldsaytoooften.You’rebeautiful,Poppy.”
Mystupid,stupidheartskipped.“Isthatwhyyoudecidedto
wakemeupinthemiddleofthenight?”
“You’rebeautiful.”Hisheadtilted,andIgaspedatthe
feelofhislipsonthelongerscarofmycheek.Hekissedthatoneandthen
theshorterone,abovemyeye.“Bothhalves,andyoushouldneverquestionwhy
anyonewouldfindyouutterly,irrevocably,anddistractinglybeautiful.”
Theskippingwasback,butIignoredit.“Thatisalotofadjectives.”
“Icancomeupwithmore.”
“Thatwon’tbenecessary,”Iadvised.“So,nowthatyou’ve
toldmethis,youcangetoffme.”
Hesmiledagainstmycheek.“Butyou’recomfortable,
Princess,andyoumakemefeel…well,youjustmakemefeel.”
WhatdidImakehimfeel?Lust?Amusement?Entertained?The
urgetoreadhimwashardtoignore.“That’snotareason.”
“That’stheonlyreason.”
Irritationprickedatmyskinevenashisbreathdancedover
mylipsandhisfingersskimmedtheouterswellofmybreast.“Well,goodfor
you,butIdon’tneedyoutobehere.”
“See,that’stheproblem.”Hisvoicedroppedtoawhisperas
hishandslidoverthesilkofthegown.Thematerialwassothin,itservedno
barrieragainstthebrandofhispalm.“Youdon’tneedme.”
“Thatdoesn’tsoundlikeaproblemtome.”
“But…”Casteel’slipsglancedoffmine,causingmybreathto
hitchashishandslippedundertheblanketandovermyhip.Hisfingers
reachedbareskin,andarushofdampheatpooled.“Butyouwantme.”
MusclescoiledtightinmystomachandthenlowerasI
pressedthesharpedgeofthebladetohisthroat,nickinghisskin.“Notnow,”
Itoldhim.
Undauntedbytheknife,heloweredhismouth.Andwhenhe
spoke,hislipsplayedovermine.“Icansenseyourarousal,Princess.”
Therewasnodenyingthat.IcouldlieallIwanted,butit
didn’tchangethatittookeffortnottoliftmyhipsagainsthis,tonotthink
ofhowhe’dfeltearlier,thickandhardinsideme.Butthewoundinmychest
fromwhatI’drealizedwasstillthere,andthememoryofhowshockingly
painfulitwastothinkhe’dalreadybeenengagedhadbeenawarningIneeded
toheedbeforeIlostsightofwhatwasimportant.
“Justbecausemybodywantsyou,doesn’tmeananyotherpart
ofmedoes.”
“Thenmaybeweshouldpretendmore?”heoffered,hisfingers
driftingclosertowhereIached.Ifhereachedthatarea,IknewIwouldbe
lost.
Itwasn’tthathehadthatkindofpower.Itwasthatmydesire
forhimdid.
“Ormaybewestoppretending,”hesaid.“Ilikedthat
better,tobehonest.”
SodidI,butwhatwasrealtouswasdifferent.
Heartthumping,Itiltedmyheadback.Mylipstouchedhis
asIsaid,“Sinceyou’llbehomesoon,I’msurethereareotherbedsyoucould
visitthatdon’trequireyoutopretend.I’msurethey’reprobably
numerous.ButyoucouldalwaysstartwithGianna’s.”
Casteelwentstill,hishandhaltingitsmovementsonmy
innerthigh,andthenheliftedhishead.“Thatcannotbeaseriousstatement.”
“DidIsoundlikeIwasteasing?”
Herolledoffme,andIcaughtmyselfbeforeIdidsomething
irrationallikestophim.Isatup,clutchingthedaggerasheleftthebedso
quickly,itwasalmostlikehehadn’tevenbeenthere.
Abittersensationhitmyveins,andIclosedmyeyes.I’d
gottenwhatIwanted—hewasnolongerinthebed.Sowhydidn’tIfeelrelief?
“Ican’tbelieveyoureallysaidthat.”
Myeyesflewopenindisbelief.“Youcan’t?”
Hewasashadowthroughthecurtains.“Hellno,Ican’t.”
Iscrambledacrosstheblanket,shovingthepanelasideasI
nearlytoppledoutofthebed.Athinlineofbloodtrickleddownhisneck,even
thoughthewoundI’dinflictedhadalreadyhealed.
Standing,Islammedthedaggerontothenightstandbecause
therewasagoodchanceIwoulduseit.EspeciallywhenIturnedtohimand
caughttheslowperusalthatmovedfromthetipsofmytoesallthewayupthe
bareskinofmylegstotheflutteryhemandthelownecklineofthegown.Heated
ambereyesmetmine.
Igrittedmyteeth.“Youwerepromisedtoanother,Casteel.”
“WereyounotlisteningwhenImadeitveryclearthatit
wasapromiseInevermade?”
“Iwaslisteningveryclosely.”
“Apparently,notcloseenough.”Casteel’seyesnarrowedas
hestareddownatme.“Youknow,I’mgladyoubroughtthisup.I’dmomentarily
forgottenthatthiswassomethingweneededtodiscuss.Youreallybelievedthat
Iwasalreadyengagedtosomeoneelse,didn’tyou?”
“Areyouforreal?”Ichoked,handsclosingintofists.
“Really?”
“LasttimeIchecked,Iwasreal.”Hecrossedhisarms.
“ThenwhyinthehellwouldyoubesurprisedthatIwould
thinksomethinglikethat?Thatyouwouldn’ttellme?Youandyourwonderful
historyofliesandhalf-truths?”
Theheatwasgonefromhisgaze,replacedbyasplashof
surprise,andthenhiseyesnarrowedagain.“Here’sthewholetruth,Poppy.
Yes,Iwasexpectedtomarry.Iwasexpectedbymany,I’msure.Itwas
somethingmyfatherhaddiscussedfordecades,butheneveraskedifitwas
whatIwanted.Somethingyoushouldbefamiliarwith.”
Iflinched.Iwasalltoofamiliarwiththat.“IthoughtAtlantians
rarelymarriediftheyweren’tinlove.”
“Theydon’t.ButasI’msureyouremember,myparentsreign
should’vealreadycometoanend.Itshould’vehappeneddecadesago.Myfather
believedthatperhapsifImarried,IwouldstopsearchingforMalikanddo
whathethoughtwasright.HeknewthatIcaredforGianna,thatwewereclose,
andthoughtshewouldbeagoodfit.”
Gianna.Thatname.Itsoundedrareandexquisite.Ifthis
wassomethingdiscussedforactualdecades,thentherehadtobeahistory
betweenthem,andthesuddenhotburstinthebackofmythroattastedlikean
emotionIhadnorighttoclaim.“MakeagoodPrincess,youmean?”
“Iimaginethatshewould,buttoansweryourquestion,I
neverreallysaidanythingaboutitbecauseIdidn’twanttohurtherorfor
hertofeelasifIwererejectingher,”hesaid.“Shedoesn’tneedthatwhen
itwasn’tlikeshepursuedmeonherown.”
Butshehadpursuedhim?Imanagednottoaskthat
question.“Butyouneversaidanythingtomeabouther—aboutthisexpectation.”
“Honesttogods,Poppy,I’dforgottenaboutituntilAlastir
mentionedtheobligations.Farmoreimportantthingshaveoccupiedmymind.And
Ifiguredthatmyfatherwould’vesurelyletgooftheidea,”hesaid.“Atno
pointdidIeverthinkthatAlastirwouldbringituplikethat.Buthe’s—”He
shookhishead.“Youcandecidenottobelieveme,butthat’sthetruth.And
evenifIhadremembered,whywouldImentionapromiseInevermade
toawoman,toanotherwhoIwastryingtoconvincetomarryme?”
“MaybesoIwould’vebeenpreparedtohearthat?”Inearly
shouted.“SoIdidn’tsitthereandthinkthatyouwereengagedtosomeoneelse
whenyouandI—”Icutmyselfoff.
“WhileyouandIdidwhat,Poppy?Kissed.Gaveeachother
pleasure?Hadsex?Fucked?Madelove?”
Isuckedinashrillbreath.“Madelove?”Iwhispered.
“Iknowthat’snotwhatweweredoing,”hesaid,hiseyes
flashingafrigidgold.“Youwouldn’tthinkforonesecondthatIwasengaged
tosomeoneelseifthatwaswhatweweredoing.”
“Idon’tunderstandhowthathasanythingtodowiththis,”
Iadmitted.“AndIalsodon’tunderstandwhyyou’reupset.”
“BecauseIcannotunderstandhowyouactually
believedIcouldbeengagedtosomeoneelseanddothethingsI’vedonewith
you.”
“YouspeaklikeIknoweverythingaboutyou!”Ithrewupmy
armsinfrustration.“Justsoyouknow,beingabletosenseemotionsdoesn’t
tellmeeverythingaboutaperson.YetyouactlikeIknowyou.ButIhardlydo
whenyoupickandchoosewhatyouwilltellmeandwhen.Youonlytellmewhat
youwantmetoknow,andIhavetopiecetogetherwhatyouhavesharedabout
yourselftoformanyopinions.AndthenIhavetodecidewhetherornotyou’re
lying!”
Casteelsteppedforward.“ExceptforwhenIneededtofeed,
IhavebeennothingbuthonestwithyousinceyoulearnedwhoIreallywas.”
“Evenifthatisthecase,Istilldon’tknowyouwellenough
toknowwhatyouwouldorwouldnotdo.”
“Haveyouevenreallytried?”heasked.
“Ihave!”
Hisbrowsflewup.“Really?Isthatwhatyou’redoingevery
timeitlookslikeyouwanttoasksomethingbutforceyourselftobequiet?”
“Idothatbecauseyoueithertellmenothing,oryoutune
meoutwhenIaskaboutthings!”Istartedtoturnawayandthenwhippedback
around.“Tellmeabouttheconversationsyouandyourbrotherescaped?Theones
thatdroveyoutothecaverns.Tellmewhyyourefusetotakethethroneeven
whenyouknowyourbrotherwon’tbefittodoitwhenyoufreehim,”I
demanded.“Tellmewhyyouthoughtitwasokayinthefirstfuckingplaceto
kidnapmeandusemeasransombeforeyouevenknewme!”Frustrationcrowdedmy
throat.“TellmewhyitneveroccurredtoyoutomentiontheJoining.Tellme
aboutGianna,Casteel.Doesshecareforyou?Doesshewantthisengagement?Do
youcareforher?”
Heexhaledroughly,shakinghishead,butIwasn’tdone.
“TellmewhyyounevertoldmethetruthaboutSpessa’sEnd
untilIwashere?Wasitbecauseyoudidn’ttrustmewiththatinformation?
Tellmeabouther.TheoneyoulovedandlostbecauseoftheAscended.
Tellmewhathappenedtoher.Willyouevensayhername?”Mychestroseand
fellwithrapidbreaths,andmyangeroverwhelmedmysenses,blockingouthis
emotionscompletely.“TellmehowyoucanstandtobenearmewhenIrepresent
thepeoplewhotooksomuchfromyou.Tellmewhyyoureallycametomyroom
tonight.Tellmesomethingthatmatters!Thatisreal.”
Casteel’schestrosewithaheavybreath.“Youwant
somethingreal?”
“Yes.”
“Icametoyourroomtonighttolearnifwhatyousaidat
dinnerwastrue.ThatIwasthefirstpersontoeverseeyou.ThatIwasthe
firstthingyoueverchoseforyourself.Thatyouchosemewhenyouknewmeas
Hawke,andevenafteryoulearnedthetruth,youstillchoseme,”hegrowled,
hiseyesluminous.“Icameheretonighttolearnifyoureallyfeltlikeyou
werebetrayingVikterandRylan,alltheothersandyourself.Icamehereto
seeifthat’dchanged.Wasallofthatreal,orwereyoujustpretending?”
Itookastepback,entirelytooexposed,andithadnothing
todowiththeridiculousnightgown.Ihadn’texpectedhimtogothere.Iwasn’t
surewhy,butIhadn’t.
Heshookhisheadashebarkedoutashort,humorlesslaugh.
“Yeah.Silence.Asusual.That’swhytherewasneverareasontotellyouany
ofthosethingsyou’vedemandedfromme.”
Istaredupathim,handsandarmstrembling.“Idon’tknow
whatyouwantfromme.”
“Everything,”hebitoutbetweenclenchedteeth.“Iwanteverything.”
Ashiverbrokeoutovermyskin.“I…Idon’tunderstandwhat
thatmeans,”Iwhispered.Andinexplicably,thebackofmythroatburned.
Apparently,Ihadn’tcriedoutallthetearsIhadtogivebecausetheywere
nowthreateningtobreakfreeagain.“Idon’tunderstandanyofthis.Notyou.
Notme.HowI’msupposedtofeel.HowI’msupposedtoforgeteverything.I
don’t—”Pressingmylipstogether,Ismoothedfingersovermyface,overthe
scarshe’dkissed.Idroppedmyhands.“Idon’tunderstand.”
Thesharplinesofhisfacesoftened,anditwaslike
watchingamaskslipawaybeforemyeyes.Hesteppedforwardandthenstopped.
“DoyouthinkIunderstandanyofthis,Poppy?Noneofthiswassupposedto
happen.Ihadplans.Captureyouanduseyou.Freemybrotherand,maybe,ifthe
godsweregood,preventawar—oratleastlessenthebloodshed.”
Casteelturnedsideways,shovingahandthroughhishair.
“Thatwastheplan.Andfuckifitdidn’tgoofftherailsthemomentyou
walkedintothegodsdamnRedPearl.”Hiseyesclosed.“Andeachtime—everydamn
time—Ispoketoyou,eachtimeIsawyoursmileorheardyoulaugh,andthe
moreIgottoknowyou,thelessthoseplansmadesense.Andtrustme,Poppy,
thoseplansmadewaymorefuckingsensethanthis—thanallofhis.”
ThebreathItookgotstuckasIgrewincrediblystill.
“I’maPrince.A
kingdomofpeopleiscountingonmetosolvetheirproblems—eventheones
they’reunawareof,butI…Icouldn’tdoit.Icouldn’tgiveyoutothem,not
evenformybrother.”Heturnedtome,hiseyesnearlyluminous.“Allbecause
whenI’mwithyou,Idon’tthinkaboutthekingdomfullofpeoplecountingon
me.Idon’tfindmyselfinthemiddleoftheday,whenit’stooquiet,backin
thosefuckingcages.Idon’tsitandthinkofeverythingIknowthey’redoing
tomybrother.Beatinghim.Starvinghim.Rapinghim.Turninghimintoa
monsterworsethaneventheycanimagine.WhenI’mwithyou,Idon’tthink
aboutthat.”
Icurledmyhandsagainstmychest—againstmythundering
heartashisfeaturesblurred.Andfinally,Ifelthim.Hispain.Hisconfusion.
Hiswonder
“Iforget.”He
quietedasheshookhisheadinconfusion.“Iforgetabouthim—aboutmypeople,
andIdon’tevenunderstandhowthat’spossible.ButIdid.Ido.Andyouwant
toknowsomethingabouther?AboutShea?”
Igaspedatthesoundofhernameonhislips.
“NeveroncedidIforgetanyofmyobligationswithher.
NeveroncedidIstopthinkingaboutMalik,”hesaid,stunningme.“Andyou—you
haveitallwrong.ThereisareasonIdon’tspeakhername.Ithasnothingto
dowiththeAscended,andwhileitsureashellhastodowithhowIfeelabout
her,it’snotwhatyouthink.”
Casteelsteppedtowardmeoncemore,hiseyesentirelytoo
wideashesaid,“And,truthfully,Ihavenoideahowyoucaneven
bearmytouchaftermylies,afterwhatIdidandcaused.AllIdoknowisthat
Ididn’tplananyofthisinthebeginning,Poppy.Ididn’tplanonbeingdrawn
toyou.Ididn’tplantowantyou.Ididn’tplanonriskingeverythingtokeep
you.Ididn’t—”
Afistpoundedonthedoor,startlingmesobadlyIalmost
jumped.
“Ifyouvalueyourliferightnow,”—Casteelraisedhisvoice—“you
willwalkawayandpretendyouwereneverhere.”
“IwishIcould.Trustme,”cameEmil’svoice.“Butthisis
important.”
“Doubtful,”Casteelmuttered,andIalmostlaughedatthe
world-wearylookthatsettledintohisfeatures.
ButthenEmilsaid,“Theskyisonfire.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter34
VeryfewthingsweremoreimportantthanwhatCasteelwas
saying,whathewasadmittingtome—andwhatwasleftunsaid.
Theskybeingonfirewasoneofthem.
CasteelwatchedwithnearunnervingintensityasIpulledon
apairofleggingsandthenaddedthecloakovertheridiculousnightgown.Shoving
myfeetintomyboots,Ihurriedtowherehewaitedbetweenthetworooms.We
wenttothemaindoor,butCasteelstoppedbeforeopeningit.
Heturnedtome,hisgazeimmediatelyfindingmine.“This
conversationisn’tover.”
“Iknow,”Itoldhim,andIdid.“Ihavealotof
questions.”
Thelaughwasquick,butnothingliketheonebefore.Itwas
real,andsomeofthesharpnessfadedfromhisfeatures.“Ofcourse,youdo.”
Emilwaswaitingforusbeyondtheterrace,andasIstepped
outintothecourtyard,mymouthdroppedopen.
Ahazy,burnt-orange-redglowilluminatedtheskybeyondthe
Rise.
“Whatinthehell?”Casteeldemanded.
“Theskyreallyisonfire,”Iwhispered.“Isitanother
omen?Fromthegods?”
“Isurehopenot,”Emilresponded.“Becauseifso,that
can’tbegood.Delanoalreadylefttoseeifhecanfindoutwhatitis.”
Casteelnodded.“Idon’tthinkit’sthat.”Hestarted
walkingaroundthecornerofthefortress,butthenstopped.Turningtome,he
extendedhishand.
Iplacedmineinhiswithouthesitation.Hisgripwaswarm
andstrong,andthatjoltofenergywasthere,travelingupmyarm.
Ihavenoideahowyoucanevenbearmytouch.
IwantedtotellhimrightthenthatIcouldbearhistouch
becauseIlovedhim
Butitdidn’tseemlikeagoodideawiththeskybeingon
fire.
Casteelprowledforward.“Howlongagodidyouguysrealize
thiswashappening?”
“Tenminutes,ifthat.AreyougoingupontotheRise?”Emil
askedaswecrossedthecourtyard,headingforoneoftheentrypointstothe
Rise.
“Ifigureitwouldgiveusabetterview.”Heledmeinside
astairwelllitbyoillanterns.“DidanyonegowithDelano?”
Emilfollowedbehindasweclimbedthespiralingstone
stairs.“IthinkDantewentoutwithhim.Probablythoughtitwouldbesafer.”
“Possibly,”Casteelmurmured.
ReachingthetopoftheRise,mystepsfalteredforamoment.
Whatappearedtobetheentirewesternskywasaglow.
“Goodgods,”Emilmuttered,comingtoastop.
CasteelandIwalkedacrosstheroofoftheRise,thecool
airchillingmyskin.Severalpeoplestoodinandneartheparapets,their
bodiesoutlinedinred.
Oneofthemturned.Kieran.Hisfatherwasbesidehim,facing
theglowingsky.AGuardianstoodontheledge,themoonlightglintingoffthe
goldenswordsstrappedtohersides.Shelookedoverhershoulder,placingher
fistoverherheart.
Casteelgreetedherwiththesamegestureasagustofwind
liftedthewispystrandsofherhairthatwasn’theldback.MinealsoblewasI
slippedmyhandfreeofhisandenteredanemptypeak.Thewind…anacridscent
carriedonit,remindingmeof…
Iplacedmyhandonthestone.“Idon’tthinkit’sthesky
that’sonfire.”
TheGuardianlookedoveratme,sayingnothingasCasteel
enteredtheparapet.“NeitherdoI.”
“WhileI’mrelievedit’snottheskyburning,”Jaspersaid.
“Somethingis.”
Somethingbigwas,butwhatcoulditbe?Therewasnothing
butfieldsandruinedcitiesthatway.
“Howfarawaydoyouthinkthefireis?”theGuardianasked.
“Hardtotell.”Casteelplacedhishandsbesidemine.“Iwould
sayaboutaday’sormoreride,maybeevenfartherdependingonthesize.”
“Aday’sride?”Ifrowned.“Thatwouldbe…what?Pompay?What
couldburntheretocreatethis?”
“Ifit’sfartherout,itwouldhavetobeamassivefireto
beseenfromhere,”Casteelsaid,shakinghishead.“Delanoisfast.Inhis
wolvenform,he’llreachPompayinnotime.We’llknowsoonenoughwhatthe
causeis.”
“Untilthen,YourHighness?”theGuardianasked.
“Untilthen,wemakesurethereisnopanic.Thosewhowere
atthedinnerwillhavemostlikelyseenthisandaretakingtalesofthe
burningskyhome.Goandmakesurethereisnopanic,Nova.”
TheGuardiannoddedandthensteppedofftheledge.She
strodeacrosstheroof,disappearingintooneofthestairwells.
“Andwhatdowedo?”Kieranaskedashestaredatthe
unnaturalsky.
“Wewait,”Casteelsaid.“That’sallwecandofornow.”
DawncreptacrossSpessa’sEndinsplashesofvioletand
pink,buttothewest,itlookedlikethesunhadfallentotheland.Witheach
passinghour,thescentsofsmokeandburningwoodgrew.
Pullingthehalvesofthecloakaroundme,Istareddownat
thedirtroadahead,searchingforsignsofDelanoorDante,butIsawnothing.
Icouldn’tevenseetheGuardiansIknewwereoutbeyondthewall,hiddenin
thetallgrass.Endlesshourshadpassedsincewe’dclimbedtheRise,and
thoughIdidn’tneedtoremain,Iwantedtobeherethemomentwefoundoutwhat
burned—and,hopefully,what’dcausedit.
Leaningagainsttheparapetwall,Iglancedovermy
shoulder.Casteelstoodseveralfeetaway,speakingtoKieranandAlastir.I
sensed…concernfromallthreeofthem,andIwonderediftheyhadthesamefear
thatIwasn’twillingtovoice.
Iturnedbacktothewesternsky,unsettledbythereddish-orange
glow.Whateverburnedwasnonormalfire.
“Theskybringsbackoldmemories.”
IjoltedatthesoundofJasper’svoice.He’denteredthe
parapetwithoutmerealizing.Thesilver-hairedwolvenwastall—tallerthanhis
sonandCasteel.Heproppedahipagainstthewallandstaredattheburning
sky.
“Entiretownswereburned,”hecontinued.“Somebyaccident.
Othersonpurpose.There’dbeweekswhere,nomatterwhatdirectionyoulooked,
theskyappearedtoburn.ItwassomethingI’dhopednevertoseeagain.”His
gazeslidtomine.“Idon’tthinkwe’vebeenofficiallyintroduced.”
“No,wehaven’t.”Ifoundnothingbutconcernandcuriosity
whirlingthroughhim.“PenellapheBalfour.”
“JasperContou,”hetoldme,andIrealizedI’dneverknown
Kieran’slastname.“Balfour?ThatisanoldSolisname.”
“Alastirsaidthesame.”
“Hewouldknow.”Jasperglancedtowheretheothersstood.
“So,IwasundertheimpressionI’mtoofficiateawedding?”
Ibitdownonmylip,wonderingifCasteelstillplannedtomarry
mewhilehere.We’donlyplannedtobeinSpessa’sEnduntilthefirstgroup
fromNewHavenarrived,whichshouldbetoday.Butwiththefire?
“Ahighlyanticipatedandyetalsoextremelyunexpected
wedding,Imightadd.”Hesmiledthen,andIfeltatrickleofamusementfrom
him.
Perhapsthedaybefore,
Iwould’verespondedwithsomethingappropriatelyvague,spokeinawaythat
wasbecomingoftheMaiden,butthatpartofmewasgone.“Idon’tknowif
Casteelstillplanstomarrymewhilewe’rehere,”Ianswered,meetinghispale
gaze.“Youspeakforthewolven?”
Henodded.
“So,Iimagineyouprobablyexpectedhimtomarrysomeone
else.”
Hisamusementroseanotch.“ConsideringthatCasteelhas
neveronceindicatedthathewasinterestedinsettlingdownwithanyone,I
didn’texpectanythingfromhim.”
Therewasacatchinmyheart.Itwasn’tthatIdidn’tbelieve
Casteelwhenhesaidthathehadn’tagreedtomarryGianna,butitwas…well,it
wasarelieftoknowthatthewolvenwhospokeforhispeoplehadn’texpected
themarriage.“Butdidyouexpecthimtomarryawolven?FromwhatI’ve
learned,therehasbeendiscontentamongthewolven,andI’mguessingtherewas
hopethatamarriagebetweenCasteelandawolvenwouldeasethosetroubles.”
TherewasaslighthardeningofJasper’sjaw,andIfelta
hotspikeofanger.“IamofthesamemindasCasteel.Amarriagebetweenour
twopeopleswould’vedoneverylittletoassuageconcernsortoendtheneed
forretributionagainsttheAscended.Valynisalsointelligentenoughtoknow
that,”hesaid,referringtotheKingbyhisfirstname.
IfrownedasIlookedatCasteel—atthosewhostoodwith
him.WasJaspersuggestingthattheunionbetweenCasteelandawolvenhadbeen
anideafedtotheKing?AlastirwasanadvisortotheCrown,butwhilehehad
doubtsregardingourrelationship’sauthenticity,hedidn’tappearagainstit.
ButwhathadCasteelsaidtoAlastirlastnightatdinner?Thatheknewwhy
he’dbroughtuptheexpectation.PerhapsithadbeenAlastir’sideainhopes
thatitwouldhelpeasetheunrest.Icouldn’texactlyfaulthimforthat.
“IimagineIwillstillbeofficiatingawedding,”Jasper
mused.
IliftedmybrowsasIrefocusedonhim.“Youdon’tdoubt
ourintentions?”
“Notaftermeetingyou.”
“I’mnotsureifthatwasacomplimentornot,”Iadmitted,
eventhoughnothingIsensedfromhimindicatedthathewasbeingfacetious.
Hisgringrewevenwider.“Youseemtohavenoproblem
speakingyourmindforsomeoneraisedtobetheMaiden.”
“Notalways,”Iconfessed,shiveringasagustof
smoke-tingedwindwhippedacrosstheroof.“Youseemtohavenoissuespeaking
withmeeventhoughIwastheMaiden.”
“Andareapparentlycapableofhealingbrokenboneswith
justthetouchofyourhands.”
Ilookedathiminsurprise.
“IheardwhatyoudidforBeckett.ItoldAlastirthat
littleidiotshouldn’tbeouthere.”Therewasafondnesstohistone.“Young
wolvencanbeveryaccident-proneduetotheirgeneralcuriosityabout
literallyeverything,whichleadstoanear-catastrophiclevelof
inattentiveness.”
Igrinned.“Buthe’llbeokay.”
“Becauseofyou.”
Lookingbackatthesky,Iexhaledsoftly.“I’veneverdone
thatbefore.”
“Iheardthat,too.Frommydaughterandson.Theyalsosaid
youappeared…old.”
Goodgods,I’dforgottenaboutthatamidsteverythingthat’d
happenedafterthatconversation.“DoIsmelllikedeathtoyou,too?”
Helaughed.“Youdonotsmellofdeath,butyoudo
havea…differentscent.OneIcan’texactlyplace,butthatfeelsfamiliar.”
Jasperwasquietforamoment,andIsuddenlyrememberedthewolveninNew
Haven—theonewhohadspokenJasper’snameandsaidthatJasperwouldbe
interestedinmeetingme.“WhenDelanosaidyoumostlikelydescendfroman
empathbloodlineandKieranconfirmedsuch,Ididn’tbelievethem.AndnowI
reallydon’t.”
Mygazeshottohis.“Whynot?”
Thewolveninclinedhishead.“Becauseveryfewempaths
couldactuallyhealwiththeirtouch,andI’veneverheardofanempathwho
glowedlikethemoonlight.Thatdoesn’tmeannoneeverdid,buttheonesIknew
sureashelldidn’t.”
Uneasestirred.“AreyousuggestingthatI’mnotdescended
fromthatbloodline?”
“Idon’tknow.”Honestyranginthesilver-hairedwolven’s
wordsashestudiedme.“Youareamysteryinmanyways,Penellaphe.”
Casteel’sapproachsilencedanyresponseImighthavehad.
“Itrulyhopeyou’renotfillingherheadwithtalesaboutme.”
“AretheytalesIshouldknow?”Iasked.
“Depends.”CasteeleyedKieran’sfather.“Iftheyinvolve
anythingthathappenedbetweenwhenIwasababethroughmyCulling,theanswer
wouldbeno.”
Mybrowsrose.“Well,nowI’mdefinitelyinterested.”
Pushingawayfromthewall,Jasperchuckled.“Ihaven’tspun
anytales.”Hepaused.“Yet.”
Casteel’seyesnarrowedashestoodbesideme.“Howabout
youkeepspinningtalestoaminimum?”
“ButI’mveryinterestedinspuntales,”Iremarked.
Jaspergrinnedagain,andthistime,withthelightofthe
sun,therewasnomistakingtheresemblancebetweenhimandKieran.“Wehave
time.I’llmakesureofit.”Hewinkedinmydirectionbeforeclaspingahand
onCasteel’sshoulderandleavingtheparapet.
“It’samusingtomethatAlastirknowstokeephismouth
shutwhenitcomestoembarrassingstoriesconcerningmymostformativeyears,
andyetspeaksfreelyaboutthingsthatshouldbegivenasecondthought,”
Casteelsaid,watchingJasperjoinhissonandAlastir.Becketthadarrived,
andwhenhesmiledupatJasper,Icouldn’thelpbutthinkoftheboltoffear
I’dfeltfromhim.“Andyet,meanwhile,Jasperistheexactopposite.”
“I’mreallyinterestedinyourformativeyears.”
“I’msureyouare.”Casteelangledhisbodytowardmine,and
itwasthefirsttimesinceEmilhadknockedonthedoorthatweweresomewhat
alone.
Therewassomuchtosayaswestaredatoneanother.Somany
questionsandwordsleftunsaid,butneitherofusspokeashegatheredthe
edgesofmycloak,pullingthethinmaterialtighteraroundme.Hishands
remainedthere,balledinthematerialbelowmineashisgazeroamedovermy
face.
“Youdon’tneedtostayuphere,Poppy,”hesaidaftera
moment.
“Iknow,butIwanttobeherewhenDelanocomesback.”I
lookeddownathishands.“Besides,IdoubtI’dbeabletosleep.”
“Youcouldtry.”
“Socouldyou.”
“EvenifIwasn’tthePrince,Iwouldbeuphere,”he
replied.
Iliftedmygazetohis.“EvenifIwasn’tabouttobecomea
Princess,Iwouldbeuphere.”
Casteelbecamesostill,Iwonderedifhebreathed.Isensed
anacuterushofemotionsflowthroughhim,soswiftandsudden,Icouldn’t
makeoutwhattheywere.Thatcould’vebeenmyshock,though,becauseI’dnever
feltanythinglikethatfromhimbefore.
Thenhemoved,liftingahand.Hehesitatedasiftoseeif
Iwouldpullaway.WhenIdidn’t,hecuppedmyleftcheek.Hisfingerssplayed
acrossthescars.“Idon’tthinkI’veeverheardyourefertoyourselfasthe
Princess.”
HadInot?
Hisgazesearchedmine,andalong,tensemomentpassed.
“Thereissomuchwestillneedtotalkabout.”
“Iknow,”Iwhispered.“Butithastowait.Iknowthat,too.”
“Butuntilthen?”Hesteppedintome,causingmybreathto
snag.“Iamhonoredthatyouarestandingbesidemenow.”
Ididn’tknowwhattosay,andIrealizedthatsometimes
nothingneededtobesaid.
“Areyouhungry?”heasked.“Thirsty?”
Ishookmyheadasheliftedhisgazetothewesternsky.
“Butyou’recold.”
“Justalittle.”
“Alittleistoomuch.”Heloweredhishandtomyshoulder
andturnedmesoIfacedthewest.Iallowedit.
Andwhenhefoldedhisarmsaroundme,pullingmyback
againsthisfront,Ionlytensedforafewseconds.Iallowedthattooand
relaxedintohiswarmembrace,lettingmyheadrestagainsthischest.Casteel
seemedtoletoutabreath,andforseveralminutes,wejuststoodthere.
Together.
ItwasinthosemomentsthatIthoughtaboutwhatthewolven
hadsaid.“Jaspersortofindicatedthathedoesn’tthinkI’mdescendedfrom
theempathbloodline.”
“Hedid?”
“Hesaidhe’sneverheardoforknewanythatglowedsilver.”
“NeitherhaveI,”hesaid.“Butnootherbloodlinemakes
sense.TheonlyotherthingIcanthinkofalsodoesn’tmakesense.”
“Andwhatwouldthatbe?”
“Thatneitherofyourparentswerepurelymortal.Butifthat
werethecase,andyou’reamixtureoftwolines,itseemshardtobelievethat
bothyourmotherandfatherwould’vegoneunnoticedbytheAscended.”
“AndthatwouldmeanthatIanwouldalsobepartAtlantian.”
“Possibly.”
Myhearttrippedoveritself.Casteelwasright.Itdidn’t
makesense.BecausewhywouldIanhaveAscendedthen?
Ifheactuallyhad.
“Itispossiblethatyoucomefromanempathlinethatwas
rareandolder,”Casteelsaid.“Justbecausewehaven’theardoforseenit,
doesn’tmeanitdidn’texist.”
Hewasright.
SomethingoccurredtomethenasIwatchedthewesternsky.
“WasJasperchosenasthespeakerforhispeoplebecauseAlastirwasalready
yourparents’advisor?”
“Alastircould’vebeenboth,butJasper…well,hehasasense
forthings.Notlikeyou.He’sjustmoreintunewithpeopleandevenanimals.”
Ithoughtaboutthat.“Kieran’sthesameway,isn’the?”
Hischingrazedthetopofmyhead.“Jasperoncesaidthere
wasaSeersomewhereinhisbloodline—achangeling—andhe’dgottena
watered-downversion.WhenIwasyounger,Iusedtothinkhewasjusttelling
stories,butheseemedtoknowthings.Likewhenitwasabouttostorm,orwhat
sidetohedgehisbetson.Sometimes,heknewwhatIwasgoingtodobeforeI
evendidit.”
JustlikeKieran.
“AndVonettaisn’tlikethat?”
“Shetakesafterhermothermore—well,exceptforthe
cooking,butdefinitelytheass-kicking,”hesaid.
Ismiled.“IaskedJasperifheexpectedyoutomarry.”
Therewasnotensingorstiffeningashesaid,“Andwhatdid
hesay?”
“Thathedidn’t,”Itoldhim,closingmyeyes.“That’swhat
Idon’tunderstand.”
“Poppy—”
“Imean,Idon’tunderstandhowthespeakerforthewolven
doesn’texpectyoutomarryawolven,butsomeofyourpeopledo.Otherwolven
did.”NamelyLandell.“And,apparently,yourfather.AndIguessevenAlastir
atonepoint.”
“Well,Alastirdidexpectit.Iknowthatforsure.I’m
almostconfidentitwashisidea,”hesaid,confirmingmysuspicions.“After
all,Giannaishisgreat-niece—Beckett’soldercousin.”
“What?”IopenedmyeyesjustasIheardthe
distantcallofasongbird.Asignalthatwasansweredwithaclosercalland
thenbyoneoftheGuardians,whostoodattheotherendoftheRise.
“They’reback,”Casteelsaid.
Iturnedinhisarms,ourgazesmeetingforthebriefestof
moments,andthenwebothmoved.Weweren’ttheonlyoneshurryingtothe
courtyard.AlastirandJasperwererightbehindus,alongwithKieran.
EmilandVonettaliftedthebarricade,andtheheavyiron
doorspartedasCasteelstrodetothecenter.Isquinted,seeingnothing—
Thenahead,onthedirtroad,awhiteblurracingtowards
us—whitefurmattedwithreddish-brown.
“Shit,”Casteelgrunted,runningoutthedoors.Someoneelse
cursed,shoutingforhimtostayback,buthewasalreadyhalfwaytoDelano.
Whowashurt.
Whowasalsoalone.
Itookoff,thecloakbillowingoutbehindme.
“Dammit.”ThatwasdefinitelyKieran.
Ididn’tslowdown,reachingCasteelandDelanojustasthe
wolvencollapsed,sendingcloudsofdirtintotheair.MyheartstoppedasI
readthefieryagonyinhim.Thephysicalpainsnappedmysensesopeninthe
waytheyhadbeforeIwokethedaybefore.Thecordstretchedout,connecting
withhim,andthepaincausedmystepstofalter.
Kierancaughtmyarm,rightingme.Istartedtothankhim,
buthewasalreadypastmeasCasteeldroppedtohisknees.
IreachedthemjustasJasperdid.“WhyamInotsurprised
thatboththePrinceandoursoon-to-bePrincessareoutsidethewallsof
safety?”hesaid.
“Welcometomyworld,”Kieranmuttered.
“He’sinpain,”Isaid,movingtowhereCasteelknelt.Once
Idid,IcouldseethewoundinDelano’sside,underhisfrontleg—hisright
arm.Thebloodtherewasfresher,leakingfromapuncturewound.
“He’sunconscious,”Casteelbitout,lookinguptheempty
roadandthenbackatme.“Canyou—?”
IwasalreadyonmykneesontheothersideofDelano,my
handstinglingwithheat.“Idon’tknowwhatwillhappen,”Isaid,glancing
overatCasteel.“Idon’tknowifIwilleasehispainoranythingmorebeyondthat.”
Eyeslikechipsofambermetmine.“Dowhateveryoucan.”
AwareoftheGuardianssurroundingusasAlastirknelt
behindCasteel,Isankmyhandsintothesoftwolvenfur.LikewithBeckett,
beforeIcouldstarttopullfromtheall-too-shallowwellofgood,happy
memories,theheatintensified.AfaintglowsurroundedmyhandsasIfelt
Delano’spainrisesuddenly,sharply,andthenease.
“Gods,”Jasperwhisperedhoarsely.
“I’mglowingagain,aren’tI?”Iasked.
“Yes,”Casteelanswered.“Likemoonlight.Beautiful.”
DelanoshudderedasIfeltthelastofhispaintrickle
away.Hisearstwitchedandthenperked.Amomentlater,heliftedhishead,
stretchingtolookbackatmeasIliftedmyhands.
“Hi,”Isaid,andIsworethewolvensmiled.
“Delano?”Casteelleanedforward.“Canyoushift?”
ThewolventurnedbacktoCasteelandshudderedagain.As
thefurthinned,Kieranwhippedoffhisshirt,drapingitoverDelano’s
midsectionjustashislegslengthened,clawsretracted,andpaleskinreplaced
fur.Amomentlater,Delanowasinhismortalform.
Irockedback.Watchingawolvenchangeformswouldnevercease
toamazeme.
Delanoliftedhisrightarmashesatup,wipingtheblood
offtorevealnowound.Justapinker,raggedpatchofskin.Heloweredhis
arm,eyesmeetingmine.
“Delano,”Casteelsaid.“Whatinthehellhappened?”
Tearinghisgazefromme,heturnedtoCasteel,hischest
risingandfallingwithsteadybreaths.“They’recoming.TheAscended.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter35
“They’reburningeverything,”Delanosaidbetweenmouthfuls
ofroastedmeatandgulpsofwateraswesatinaroominsidethefortress,off
fromthedininghall.“AllofwhatwasleftofPompay.Allofthewoodsfrom
Pompayto—toGods,possiblyallthewaytoNewHaven.TheDeadBonesClan?”His
bareshoulderstensedashereachedforthewater.“Idon’tseehowtheycould’ve
gottenoutofthere.Theyhavetoallbegone.”
Myemptystomachchurnedwithnausea.Iwasnofanoftheir
people-eatingandskin-wearinghabits,butthatdidn’tmeanIwishedthey’dall
bemurdered.Especiallyafterlearningthatthey’dsurvivedthewarandthe
Ascendedbyhidingoutinthosewoods.
“AssoonaswesawPompay,weknewitwasn’tnormal.There
weren’tthatmanythere.Maybetwodozenguards.Buttocreatethatkindof
fire?Tothepointthattheairisnearlyblackwithsmoke?Weknewtherehad
tobemore.”Hisknucklesbleachedwhitefromhowtightlyheheldhisglass.
We
Butonlyhe’dreturned,andIknewwhatthatmeant.
IlookedtowhereCasteelstoodontheothersideofthe
table.
Hisexpressionwasutterlydevoidofemotion,butIcould
feelthevast,icyrageinsidehim.“Didyouseemore?”
“Weskirtedpastthem,travelingfartherwest.That’swhere
wesawthem—sawtherest.Wegotclose—ascloseaswecould.Toseehowmany
therewere.”Hedownedhalftheglassofwater.“Theyhavecamps,Cas.Horses.
Wagonspullingsupplies.”
Alastir,who’dbeenstandingsinceweenteredtheroom,sat
inachair,hisfacepaleasDelanoliftedhisfingers,onebyone,fromthe
glass.“Therehavetobehundredsofthem,closetoeighthundredorso,I’d
guess.Agodsdamnarmy.”
Isatback.FromthemomentI’drealizedthattheskywasn’t
actuallyburning,IhadalreadysuspectedthattheAscendedwerebehindthe
fire.MyhoursontheRisewerespentpreparingmyselfforwhatIalreadyknew.
TheknowledgethattheAscendedwerecomingwasn’twhatshookme.Itwasthesheer
numbersofthem.
“Hell,”Jaspermuttered.
“Oneofthemsawusaswelefttheircamp.Arrows.That’s
whatgotme.GotDante.”
“Washekilled?”Casteelasked.
Delanonoddedashestaredattheplate.“Gothiminthe
head.”
Alastirswore,risingoncemore.“Dantedidn’tknowwhento
shutup.”Heturned,claspingthebackofhischair.“Buthewasagoodman.
Honorable.”
“Iknow.”AmuscleflexedinCasteel’sjaw.
“Icouldn’tstoptoheal,”Delanosaid.“Themomentthe
arrowhitme,andIsawthatDantewasdead,Iran.Iwould’vegottenhere
soonerbutIwasweakening.”
“It’sokay.Yougothere.”Casteelunfoldedhisarmsand
placedahandonthewolven’sshoulder.“Thatiswhatmatters.”
Delanonodded,butIknewhedidn’tbelievethat.Icould
feelit.Theanger—directedattheAscendedandathimself
“Youranhowmanymiles?”Iasked.“Withawoundthatmost
likelypuncturedalung.Youdidmorethanmostcouldeverthinktodo.”
Delano’seyesmetmine.“Andyouhealedmewiththetouchof
yourfingers.”
“Andthatwasnowherenearasdifficultorasimpressiveas
whatyoudid.”
ThecentersofDelano’scheekspinkenedasCasteeladded,
“Shespeaksthetruth.Andyou’rethefirstpersontoeverimpressher.I’m
jealous.”
Irolledmyeyes.
CasteelsqueezedDelano’sshoulderoncemoreandthenasked,
“DidyouseeanysignofElijah?OranyonefromNewHaven?”
WithashakeofDelano’shead,aheavy,somberpallsettled
overtheroom.
“Thereareotherwaystheycould’vetraveled—routesthat
wouldtakesignificantlylonger.Butthatdoesn’tmeanElijahandthepeopledidn’t
getoutofNewHaven,”Kieransaid,speakingforthefirsttime.“Theycould’ve
headednorthandthencomedownthroughthefoothillsoftheSkotostoavoidthe
Ascended.”
“Iknow.”Casteelcrossedhisarms.“Didyouseeany
Ascended?Anyknights?”
“No,buttherewerewindowlesscarriagesandwagonswithhigh
walls,completelysheltered.It’spossiblesomearewiththem.”
“That’sonebitofgoodnewsthen,”Casteelsaid.
“Howisthatgoodnews?”Alastirturnedtohim.“Thereare
hundredsontheirwayhere.Anarmy.”
“It’sgoodbecausehundredsofmortalsmeansSpessa’sEnd
hasachance,”Casteelanswered.
“Aslimchance.”Alastirreturnedtohisseat.“Youmaybe
optimistic.Irespectthat,butevenwiththeGuardianswehavehere,thatwill
notbeenoughtoholdbackanarmyofhundreds.”
AchillsettledinmybonesasIlookedaroundthetable,
aroundtheroomandthestonewallsthathadalreadywitnessedonecityfall.
“Wecan’tletSpessa’sEndfall.”
Severalpairsofeyesturnedtome,butitwasCasteel’s
gazethatImet.“Andwewon’t,”hesaid.“Nova?”
ThetallGuardianwiththebraidedblondhairsteppedforward.
Itwastheonewho’dwatchedusthedayIsawthemtraining.“Yes,myPrince?”
“Remindmeofhowmanypeoplewehavethatarecapableof
defendingthetown?”
“Lessthanahundredwhoaretrainedorcapableof
physicallyfighting,”sheanswered,andEmilletoutalowcurse.“Ourolder
populationistrainedwiththebow,though.Wewouldhaveabouttwenty
archers.”
Twentyarcherswasbetterthannothing,butitwasn’t
enough.Everyoneknewthat.
“Wehaveanadditionaltwenty-threefrommyandAlastir’s
groups.”AmuscleflexedalongCasteel’sjaw.“Whendoyouthinkthey’llreach
Spessa’sEnd?”
“They’reintwogroups,”Delanosaid.“Thesmalleroneis
closer,aboutaday’srideout.Iimaginetheycouldbeherebynightfall.”The
tensionintheroomintensified.“Thelargergroupwilltakelongertoarrive.
Probablytwodays,butthoseguessesarebasedonwhetherthefirstgroupwaits
forthelargergroup.”
“Andhowmanyareinthefirstgroup?”Jasperasked.
“Twohundred?Maybethree.”
Thatwasthesmallergroup?Deargods…“Thereisnowaythey
don’tknowwhathasbeenhappeninghereifthey’vesentnearlyathousandor
moresoldiers,”Isaid.“They’recoming,readyforafight.”
“Someonemusthavetalked,”Emilsaidashepushedoffthe
wall.“Theyhadtohaveforcedtheinformationfromsomeone.Possiblya
Descenterwhotraveledhereorwasaware.”
“OrsomeoneatNewHaven,”Alastirsaid,andmychestseized
withdread.
“They’reprobablynotentirelyawareofwhathasbeen
rebuilthere,buttheyknowwithitbeingthisclosetotheSkotos,they’renot
comingunprepared.Thesizeofthearmycouldbemoreshowthanforceinhopes
ofscaringusintogivingthemwhattheywant.”Jasper,seatedafewempty
seatsdownthetablefromme,twistedinmydirection.“WhichIassumeisyou.”
Ialreadyknewthat.WhethertheyknewwhatSpessa’sEndhad
becomeornot,theywerecomingfortheirMaiden.Theirbloodsupply.The
futureoftheirAscensionsinoneshapeorform,andthey’dbroughtanarmytogain
whattheywanted,fullypreparedtodosothroughforce
Andpeoplewould…theywoulddie.Possiblyevensomeofthose
inthisveryroom.Allofthemweretheclosestthingstoimmortaltherewere,
butnoneofthemweregods.Andevenwitheveryonewillingandabletofight,
wewerevastlyoutnumbered.Peoplewoulddiebecausetheywereharboringme,
justlikethepeopleinNewHaven.
LikeRenfern.
Mystomachandchesttwistedwiththeicinessofapprehension.
Icouldn’tlivewiththatagain.
“Theycannothavewhattheywant,”Casteelsnarledashis
gazeshottomine.“Ever.”
Istilledasheheldmygaze.Therewasavowinhiswords,
onethatspokevolumes—onethatsaidheknewwheremythoughtshadgone.
“They’rehereforme,”Isaid,holdinghisstareandwilling
himtohearwhatIcouldn’tsayinfrontofothers.“Wecannotrisk—”
“Yes,wecan,”hecutmeoff,eyesburninganintense
yellow.“And,yes,Iwill.Theycannothaveyou.”Bendingforward,heplaced
hishandsonthetable.“Whateveryou’rethinking,youhaveitwrong.They’re
notgoingtoturnandwalkawayiftheyhaveyou.Youknowthat,Poppy.Yousaw
thatfirsthandwithLordChaney.Theywillgetwhattheywantandstill
laywastetoeverythingbeforethemjustbecausetheycan.Thatiswhatthey
do.Andoncetheyhaveyou,theywilluseyoutowreakmorehavocanddestruction.
Bygivingyourselftothem,youwon’tbesavinglives.You’llbedestroying
moreofthem.”
Casteelwasright,andIhatedthat.Itmademefeellike
therewasnothingIcoulddotostopthis—tofightback.
Butthatwaswrong.
TherewassomethingIcoulddo.Icouldfight.
Casteeldraggedhisgazefrommine.“Weneedreinforcements,
andweneedthemquickly.Alastir,IneedyoutocrosstheSkotos.Alertthoseat
thePillarsandSaion’sCovetowhatishappening.Sendasmanyofoursoldiers
thatcanmakeittoSpessa’sEndwithintwodays,”Casteelordered,towhich
thewolvenalreadybeganrisingfromhischairtoobey.Casteelwasn’tdone
yet.HeturnedtoKieran.“Iwantyoutotravelwithhimjustincasesomething
happens.”
“What?”Kieranexclaimed,obviouslyasshockedasIwasto
hearCasteel’sdemand.“ThereisadamnarmyofSolisheadingthisway,and
you’resendingmetoAtlantia?”
“Iam.You’refast.You’restrong.Andyouwillnotweaken
orfalterifsomethinghappenstoAlastir.”Casteelmetthewolven’sastonished
stare.“Youwillnotfailus.”
MyheartstartedthumpinghardbecauseIknew.Iknewinmy
boneswhyCasteelwassendingKieranaway.
“MyPrince,”Novaspokeup.“Iknowyoufeelthatitisyour
dutytoremainhere,butitisyouwhoshouldtravelbeyondtheSkotos.You
shouldleaveimmediatelyandheadforsafety.”
“Ihavetoagreewithher,”Alastirchimedin.“TheAscended
maythinkyou’retheDarkOne,buttheymayknowwhoyoureallyare—theliving
heirtotheKingdomofAtlantia.Youarethelastpersonwhoshouldbehere.”
ItensedatAlastir’swords,butCasteelshowednoreaction
tohimbeingreferredtoasthelivingheirtothekingdom.“Ivaluebothof
yourthoughtsandopinions,butyouallknowIwillnotleaveSpessa’sEndto
defenditself.NotwhenIhelpedtoconvincethoseheretocomeandmaketheir
homesinthisplace.”
“Everyonewhocamehereknewtherisksinvolved,”Alastirargued.
“YourlifecannotbeputatriskforSpessa’sEnd.”
Casteelinclinedhishead.“IfI’mnotwillingtoriskmy
lifeforSpessa’sEnd,howdareIaskthepeopleheretodoso?Thatisnotwhat
aPrincedoes—atleastnotagoodone.”
AwealthofrespectforCasteelrosesoswiftlyinme,it
tookmybreath.Ididn’tunderstandhowhecouldn’tseeitpractically
radiatingfromme.Hewasn’twillingtoaskthosetoriskwhathewouldnot,
andnoonecouldarguethat.NotevenAlastir.
Heexhaledheavilyandthennodded.
“Ishouldbeherewithyou.”KieransteppedclosertoCasteel.
“Mydutyistodefendyourlifewithmine.ThatiswhatI’mbondedtodo,the
oathItook.HowcanIdothatrunningawayfromthebattle?”Hisvoice
lowered.“Don’tdothis,Cas.”
MyhearttwistedasIstaredatthem.Casteelwassending
hisbondedwolvenaway.OnelookatKierantoldmethatheknewit,too.Casteel
wasremovinganychancethatKieranwouldriskhislifetosavehis.
Justashe’ddonewhenhelefttokilltheQueenandKingof
Solis.
AndthatmeantthatCasteeltrulyunderstoodthelikelihood
thatSpessa’sEndwouldn’tholduntilorifreinforcementsarrived.
“Youtookanoathtoprotectme,andyouwill,”Casteel
said.“You’renotrunningawayfromthebattle.Youwillbekeepingsafewhat
ismostimportanttome,andthatisPoppy.”
Ijolted.“Wait.What?”
“Youwillleavewiththem.Itwillbehard,”hesaid,still
holdingKieran’sgaze.“Therewillbenobreaks,andyouwillneedtolistento
everythingKierantellsyou,especiallywhenit’snightinthemountains,but—”
“I’mnotleaving,”Icuthimoff.
“Youcan’tbehere,”Casteelreplied.“Notwhentheycome.
Thisisnotupfordiscussion.”
Ishottomyfeet.“Letmemakeonethingclear.Idon’t
knowifyourealizethisornot,Casteel,butI’mnotduty-boundtoobeya
singlethingyousay.”
Casteelstiffened.
“Andmaybeyoushouldactuallylookatmewhenyoutryto
ordermetodothings,”Itackedon.
Heturnedtome,hisheadcocked.“I’mlookingatyounow.”
“Butareyoulistening?”
“Oh,man,”Delanomurmuredunderhisbreathastherestof
theroomwentdeadsilent.“Someoneisgettingstabbedagain.”
Someone,IthinkitwasJasper,snorted
“Oh,I’mlistening,”Casteelreplied.“Maybeyoushouldtry
that.Alongwiththisthingcalledcommonsense.”
“Definitelygettingstabbed,”Kieranconfirmed.
Isteppedaroundthetable,awarethatDelanoappearedtobe
sinkingintohischair.“Areyouserious?”
“Areyouarmed?”Casteelaskedwithasmirk.“Youare,
aren’tyou?”
“I’msoconfusedbywhatishappeninghere,”Novawhispered
withaslightfrown.
“Apparently,shealreadystabbedhimonce,”Jasperinformed
theGuardian.“Intheheart.”
Novalookedatme.
“Andshecutmeearliertonight.Threwakniferightatmy
faceanothertime,”Casteeltickedoffhisfingers.“Thenthisonetime,inthe
woods,she—”
“NoonewantstohearabouthowmanytimesI’vemadeyou
bleed,”Isnapped.
“Ido,”Jasperremarked.
Emilraisedhishand.“SodoI.”
“Look,notonlyisitnotwisefortheonethingtheywant
tobeherewithintheirgrasp,Idon’twanttoworryaboutyouhandingyourself
over,”Casteelstated.“Youknow…likebefore.”
“ThatisnotamistakeIwillmakeagain,”Istated.
“Butyouwerejustthinkingaboutit,weren’tyou?”He
steppedtothesidesoDelanowasnolongerseatedbetweenus.
“Iwas,”Iadmitted.“Foracoupleofminutes.Butyouwere
right.”
Hisbrowslifted.“Blessedbethegods,someonemarkthe
dateandtime.ShejustadmittedIwasright.”
“Oh,shutup,”Ibitback.
“Finewithme.Conversationisover.You’llleavewith
AlastirandKieranimmediately.”Hestartedtoturn.
“Iamnotleaving.”Iliftedmychinwhenhespunbackto
me.“You’llhavetomakeme.You’llhavetodragmeallthewaytoAtlantia
yourself.”
Hischindippedasangerpoundedthroughhim,reachingme.
“OrIcouldjustcompelyou.”
Myskinwentcold.“Youwouldn’tdare.”
Hisjawflexed,andthenhespatoutacurse.Theiceleft
me.Hewouldn’tdothat.“Thisisdifferent,Poppy.DifferentthantheRiseor
theCravenortheDeadBonesClan.”
“Youshouldleave,”theGuardianspoke.“Isawwhatyoucan
do—outtherewithDelano.Butthatwillbeofnousewhenit’stimetofight.
YouwillbenothingbutadistractiontoourPrince.Youwillbealiability.”
Slowly,Iturnedtothewoman.“Excuseme?”
Novastaredbackatme.“Imeannooffense.I’monlystating
facts.”
“Yourfactsaregrosslyincorrect,”Itoldher.“Justto
pointoutthemostobviousofyourinaccuracies,whatIdidforDelanowould
actuallycomeinhandywhenandifpeopleareinjured.That,”—Isenta
darklookinCasteel’sdirection—“iscommonsense.”
Hereyesnarrowed.
“Asfarasmebeingaliability?I’mjustasgoodwitha
swordasIamwithabow,andI’mdamngoodwithabow.Probablybetterthan
mosthere.Iamanasset,”Isaid.“Andasfarasbeingadistractionto
Casteel,that’shisweakness.Notmine.”
Nova’schinlifted,andIfelt…Ifeltameasureofrespect
fromtheGuardian.Itwasburiedunderlayersofwariness,butitwasthere.
“She’snotlying,”Casteelsaid,watchingme.“Penellaphe
canfight,andherskillwithaswordandaimwiththearrowareleaguesabove
thatofatrainedsoldier.Sheisneveraliability.”
Mygazeshiftedtohim.“Sothenit’ssettled?”
Hislipsthinnedasheshookhishead.
“Youneedmyhelp,”Itoldhim,drawinginashallowbreath.
“AndIneedtobehere.Theyarecomingforme,andIhavetobeable
todosomething.Ineedtofightback,notstandbyanddonothing.”
Casteel’seyesmetmineandstayed,andIthoughtmaybehe
understoodthen.WhyIcouldn’twalkaway.Whydoingsowouldmakemefeelhelpless.
Buteventhen,Ibracedformoreofafight.Becausethiswasdifferent.
Thiswasbattle,andIcouldfeelthemessofemotionsinhim.Theconflict.
Butthenhenodded.“Okay.Youstay,”hesaid,andI
breathedoutasighofrelief.“We’lldiscusswhatexactlythatmeanslater.”
Myeyesnarrowed.
“Whatofme?”Kierandemandedthen.“IfPenellapheisstaying—”
“Therestillneedstobetwoofyou,”Casteelinterrupted,
andIsensedthebone-deepwearinessinhim.“Delanocan’tmakethetrip,and
you’refasterthanNaillandmostAtlantianshere.”
Kieranstiffenedwhilehisfatherwatchedoninsilence.“And
thisisanorder?”
MeetingKieran’seyes,Casteelnodded.“Yes.Itis.”
Thewolven’sjawworkedsohard,Iwassurprisedwedidn’t
hearitcrack.Heshookhishead.Disbeliefandangerradiatedfromhim,butI
feltsomethingelse,somethingdeeperthatwaswarmandstrongerthanthe
anger.“Iknowwhyyou’redoingthis,”Kieranwhispered.
Casteelsaidnothingforalongmomentandthensaid,“It’s
nottheonlyreason.”
Wordswentunsaidbetweenthem,butwereunderstood
nonetheless.WhateveritwascausedKierantonod,toacceptCasteel’sorder.
ThenKieranmovedforward,claspingCasteelaroundthebackoftheneck.“If
yougetyourselfkilled,”Kieransaid,“I’mgoingtobepissed.”
OnesideofCasteel’slipskickedup.“Iwon’tfall,my
brother.”Casteelpulledhiminforatight,one-armedhug.“That,Ican
promiseyou.”
Exhalingraggedly,Kieranreturnedtheembrace.MaybeIwas
justtired.Ididn’tknow,butIwantedtocryasIwatchedthem,eventhoughI
wouldn’tletmyselfconsiderthepossibilitythattheywouldnotseeeachother
again.Thattheirbondcouldbesevered.Kieransteppedback,lookingathis
father.
Jasperwasalreadyonhisfeet,movingtohisson.“I’ve
alwaysbeenproudofyou.”HecurvedahandaroundthebackofKieran’shead.
“I’vealwayshadconfidenceinyou.Iknowwewillseeeachotheragain.”
Kierannodded,andashepulledawayfromhisfather,Itook
atentativestepforward.“Kieran?”
Helookedatme.
“Please…pleasetrytobecareful,”Isaid.
Heliftedhisbrows.“Areyouworriedaboutme?”
Crossingmyarms,Inodded.
“Don’tbenicetome,”hereplied,andIsensedamusement
fromhim.“Itweirdsmeout.”
“Sorry.”
HesmiledthenashewalkedtowhereIstood.“Youdon’t
soundremotelysorry.”
Igrinnedathim.
“Domeafavor,”Kieransaid,lookingdownatme.“Protect
yourPrince,Poppy.”
Ididn’tseeCasteelfortherestoftheday.
AftersayinggoodbyetoAlastir,Ireturnedtotheroom
whilehelefttogoandspeakwiththepeopleofSpessa’sEnd.I’dstartedto
asktogowithhim,butuponrememberingthetownspeople’sreactionsthenight
before,IrealizedIwouldonlybeadistraction.Thekindthatcouldprove
deadlytothepeopleofSpessa’sEndiftheywerebusystaringatmeinsteadof
listeningtoCasteel.
I’dexpectedhimtoreturn,notsomuchtofinishour
conversationsincetherewerefarmoreimportantthingsgoingon,butbecause
heneededtosleep.
Butthemorninggavewaytotheafternoon,andCasteelstill
didn’tshow.Ididn’tstayintheroom.Iprepared.
Luckily,VonettahadbeennearwhenIsteppedoutintothe
courtyard,andshewaswillingtoindulgemeinatrainingsession.Handlinga
swordorabowwasn’tatechniqueyouforgot,butitwasonethatcouldbecome
rustywithneglect
Plus,shewasawolven,fasterandstrongerthanamortal,
andfightingherwouldbealotlikefightingaknight.Ineededthepractice.
Wedrewabitofacrowd,butCasteelwasstillwiththe
people.AccordingtoVonetta,hewashelpingtodeterminewhocouldfight.
WhenIsawCasteelagain,itwaswhenDelanobroughtmeto
thesmallroomoffthediningroomwheredinnerwasspentdiscussingstrategies.
ThefactthatCasteelhadthoughttoincludemeinthemeetingdidn’tgo
unnoticedbymeorbyanyoneelseintheroom.
Bythetimenightarrived,andI’dreturnedtothe
bedchamber,Casteelstillhadn’t.Ispentseveralhoursnervouslypacingandthinking
aboutthings—abouteverythingthathadhappenedbeforeCasteelenteredmylife,
andeverythingthathadhappenedsince.Ithoughtaboutmygift—howitwas
changing,howIglowedlikemoonlight.AndIthoughtaboutallthatCasteelhad
saidandwhathadbeenleftunsaid.
IthoughtabouthowIwassodamntiredofpretending.
Atsomepoint,after
walkingmyselfragged,Ifinallyfellasleep,dressedjustincasetheAscended
showed.Iwasn’tevensurewhatwokeme,butwhenIopenedmyeyes,thegrayish
lightofdawncreptintotheroom,andCasteelwasinthebedbesideme,propped
upagainstamountainofpillows.Hislonglegsstretchedoutinfrontofhim,
crossedattheankles,feetbare.Hishandswerelooseinhislap.Hewas
awake,lookingatme.
“Areyouwatchingmesleep?”
“Notnow.Iwasafewminutesago,”headmitted,onesideof
hislipscurvingup.“Now,I’mtalkingtoyou.”
“That’screepy,”Imurmured.“ThewatchingmewhileIsleep
part.”
“Possibly.”
“Youhavenoshame.”Irolledontomyback.
Hesmiledfaintlyatthat,butitdidn’treachhiseyes—eyes
thatweretired
“Haveyousleptatall?”
“Notyet.”
ThemessthatwasmyhairtoppledovermyshouldersasIsat
up.“Iknowyou’rethisinsanelypowerfulelemental,butyouneedtorest.”
Thathalf-grinappeared,thedimpleinhisrightcheek
peeking.“Areyouworriedaboutme,Princess?”
Istartedtotellhimno.TodenythatIwasbecausethat
waswhatI’dalwaysdone.Itwastheeasiest—andthesafest—butIwastired.
Oflying.
Ofpretending.
ThatwassomethingelseI’dthoughtaboutasIstoodonthe
Riseovernightafterpreparingmyselffortheinevitable.Ithoughtaboutmy
future.WhoIusedtobe,whoIwasbecoming,andwhoIwantedtobe.Andit
wasstrangehowrevelationsfeltliketheyhappenedallofasudden,butinreality,
ittookmanysmall,almostindiscerniblemomentsoverthecourseofweeks,
months,andyears.Bottomline,IknewIdidn’twanttobesomeonewhohid
anymore,whetherbehindaveil,toothers,ortomyself.
JustlikeI’dsaidatdinner,Ihadn’tchangedbecauseofCasteel.
I’dbeenintheprocesslongbeforehecameintomylife,buthewasa
catalyst.JustlikeallthosetimesI’dsnuckouttoexplore,thebooksI’d
beenforbiddenyetread,andwhenIsmiledattheDuke,knowingI’dbepunished
later.Vikter’sdeathwasalsoaturningpoint.
“Iam,”Itoldhim.“Iamworriedaboutyou.”
Casteelstaredatme,andIdidn’tneedtoreadhimtoknow
thatmyanswerhadshockedhim.
“They’regoingtocome.TheAscendedcouldbehereby
tonight.Youneedtosleep.Toberested.”Ipaused.“Andmaybestopstaringat
me.”
“I…”Heblinked,andthenhisbodyrelaxedoncemore.“I
willrest.Webothwill.ButIneed…weneedtofinishourconversation.Itcan’t
wait.”Hisgazereturnedtomine.“Notanylonger.”
MyheartkickedaroundinmychestasIleanedbackagainst
thepillows.“Where…wheredowestart?”
Helaughedsoftly.“Gods,IthinkIknowwheretostart.You
askedifIhaveanyshame?Idohavesome.”Helookedoveratme.“Almostall
theshameI’veeverfelthastodowithyou.Ihatedlyingtoyou,Poppy.Ihated
thatIwascapableofplanningtotakeyou—touseyou—withouteverknowingyou.
ThatIevenhavethatcapabilityinsideme.Icanfeelshameforthat,butif
giventhechancetodoitagain,Iwoulddoitexactlythesame.”
Casteel’sgazeflickeredovermyface.“Iwasn’tlying
earlierwhenIsaidIdidn’tplanforanyofthistohappen.It’snotthatI
wasn’twillingtouseeverythingIhadtogainyourtrust.Ifittookpretty
wordsandkissesandmybody,Iwould’veusedthemall.Iwouldhavedone
anythingtofreeMalik.”
Buthewouldn’t.
Hedidn’t
“That’swhatthenightintheRedPearlwasabout.Whenyou
askedmewhyIwouldkissyou?WhyIstayedintheroomwithyou?Itwasbecause
IknewIcouldusethattomyadvantage.Ifeelshameforthat,butIwouldn’t
havedoneanythingdifferently.”Helethisheadfallbackagainstthepillows,
hisgazeneverleavingmine.“ButIdidn’t…Ididn’tplanonactuallyenjoying
yourcompany.Ididn’tplanoncomingtolookforwardtotalkingtoyou.AndI
didn’tplanontheguiltthatcamewithmyactions.Ididn’tplanon…well,I
didn’tplanoncaringaboutyou.”
Mybreathsnaggedinmychestasatremblecoursedthrough
me.
“IplannedontakingyouthenightoftheRite.WhenIled
yououttothegarden.Tothewillow.Kieranandtheotherswerewaitingfor
us.Iwasgoingtotakeyouthen,whileeveryoneelsewasbusy,andbeforeyou
evenhadanideaofwhatwashappening.”
“Butyoudidn’t.”
“IfIhad,youneverwould’vewitnessedVikter’sdeath.You
wouldn’thaveseenanyofthat.Honesttogods,Poppy,Ihadnoideatheyweregoing
toattack—”
“Iknow.Ibelieveyou.”AndIdid.Hisshouldersloosened.
“Whydidn’tyoutakeme?”
“Idon’tknow.”Hisbrowsknitted.“No.That’salie.I
didn’ttakeyouthenbecauseIknewthemomentIdid,youwouldstoplookingat
melike…likeIwasjustHawke.Youwouldstopopeninguptome.Talkingtome.Seeing
me.You’dhateme.Iwasn’treadyforthat.”
Iwasn’treadyforhimtoadmitthat.
Heswallowedashisgazeliftedtothebed’scanopy.“WhenI
touchedyouintheBloodForest,IknewIshouldn’thave,butI…Iwantedtobe
yourfirst.Ineededtobeyourfirsteverything.Kiss.Touch.Pleasure.”
Oh,gods…
Hisjawworkedasheslowlyshookhishead.“Kieran…fuck,I
thoughthemightactuallypunchmewhenherealizedwhatI’ddone.Butheknew
and…”Casteelclearedhisthroat.“ThenightinNewHaven,whenIcametoyour
room,Ididn’tplanthat.Iwantedit.Gods,didIever.ItwasallIcould
thinkaboutitseemed,anddamnifthatwasn’tafuckingdifference,butI
didn’tplantodothatwithyouwhenyouhadnoideawhoIwas.”
Pressureclampeddownonmychest.“That’swhyyoudidn’t
wantmetocallyouHawkethatnight.Ithoughtitwasbecausethatwasn’ttechnically
yourname.”
“It’sbecauseyoudidn’tknowwhothatnamewasattached
to.”Hedraggedhisteethacrosshislip.“Ishould’vewalkedoutofthatroom.
IfIwereabetterman,Iwould’ve.Ifeelshameforthat,butgods,Idon’t
regretit.Howterribleisthat?”
“I…”Mythroatsealed,andittookabitformetounclogit.
“Ihatedthatyouweren’thonestwithmethen,butIdon’tregretit.Inever
did.”
Hisgazeswungtomine.“Don’tsaystufflikethat.”
“Why?”
“Becauseitmakesmewanttostripyounakedandsinkso
deepinyouthatneitherofuswillknowwherewestartandend.”Hiseyes
flaredanintensegold.“Andthenwe’dneverfinishthisconversation.”
“Oh,”Iwhispered,hiswordssendingaheatedwavethrough
me.“Okay,then.”
Thesmilereturned,butitwasquicktodisappear.“WhatI
saidthatnightstillholdstrue.I’mnotworthyofyou.Iknewthatthen.I
knowthatstill.Butthathasn’tstoppedmefromwantingyou.Thathasn’t
stoppedmefromconcoctingaplanwhereIcanhaveyou,ifonlyuntilthisis
over.Itdidn’tstopmefromwantingeverythingfromyou.Frompretendingthat
Icouldhaveeverything,Poppy.”
Iwasn’tsureifIwasevenbreathing.
“AndIknowyou’reprobablystillangrywithmeabout
wantingtoleave,wantingyoutogowithKieran,butI…”Heclosedhiseyes.
“Afterwhatwasdonetomeandeverythingthathappenedafterward,Ididn’t
thinkIwascapableoftrulywantingorneedingsomeonelikeIdoyou.Ididn’t
believeitwaspossible.Andtherehavebeensomanytimes,toomany
times,thatI’vewantedthistobereal.”
“Whatpartdidyouwanttobereal?”
“Allofit.ThatIhadacceptedmybrother’sfate.ThatI
wasbringinghomemywife,andthat…therewasthisfutureInolongerbelieved
Iwouldhave.ThatwasallIcouldthinkaboutearlier.Theideaofyoubeing
herewhentheycame.Ifeltthefearalready.WhenthatbastardAscendedtook
youatNewHaven?IthoughtI’dlostyou.”Heswallowedagain.“AndIknowtoo
muchhashappenedforanyofthattobereal.IknowI’vehurtyou.Iknowwhen
yousaidyoucarriedtheguiltformyactions,youweren’tlying.AndI’m…gods,
Poppy,I’msorry.Youdon’tdeservethat.Youdon’tdeserveeverythingthat
I’velaidatyourfeet,andyousureashelldon’tdeservethefactthatI’m
stilltryingtoholdontoyou.Thatwhenitcomestimeforyoutoleave,I’m
stillgoingtowantyou.Evenwhenyouinevitablydoleave,I’llstillwantyou.”
Hewould’veletyougo,butIdoubtyouwould’vebeen
freeofhim.
Isn’tthatwhatKieranhadsaid?
“Idon’tknowwhatanyofthatmeans.I’velongsincestopped
tryingtofigureitout.”Hislasheslowered,shieldinghisgaze.“Canyoutell
me?Canyoureadmeandtellme?”
Inthatmoment,Icouldn’tconcentrateenoughtoreadabook,
butIknewwhatIneededfromhim.“Tellmeabouther.”
Casteel’sgazemetmine,andhelooked…fracturedashe
lookedaway,returningtostareathishands.HewassilentforsolongthatI
didn’tthinkhewouldspeak.Thathewouldn’tsayanything,butthenhe
answered.
“We…wegrewuptogether—Sheaandme.Ourfamilieswereclose,
obviously,andwewerefriendsatfirst.Somehow,atsomepoint,itbecame
somethingmore.Idon’tevenknowhoworwhen,butIlovedher.Atleast,I
thinkthat’swhatIfelt.Shewasbraveandsmart.Wild.IthoughtIwould
spendmyentirelifewithher,andthenIgotmyselfcaptured,andshecamefor
me.”
Myheartsankandplummetedevenfurtherwhenhemoved
suddenly,risingfromthebed.
“Idon’tevenknowhowmanytimessheandMalikcameforme.
Ithadtobedozens,andyousee,theynevergaveuponme.TheybelievedIwas
alive.Allthoseyears,theykeptsearchingforme.”Hethrustahandthrough
hishair.“Andthentheyfoundme.Ibarelyrecognizedthemwhentheyappeared
infrontofmycell.IthoughtIwashallucinating—imaginingthatmybrother
andSheawerethere,allbutcarryingmeoutofthedungeonintothetunnels.I
wasinbadshape.Hadn’tfedinawhile.Weak.Disoriented.Idon’tevenknow
exactlywhenthetwoAscendedappeared,buttheyweresuddenlythereasif
they’dbewaitingforus.Theyhadbeen.”
Iscootedtotheedgeofthebedashewalkedovertothe
terracedoors.“Whatdoyoumean?”
“ImeantheyknewIwasgoingtobefreedthatday.They
knewthatmybrother—thetrueheir—wascoming.AnAtlantianolderandstrongerthan
me,andhewasgoingtobewithintheirreach.”
Understandingstartedtocreepin,andIdidn’twantitto
betrue.Oh,gods,Ididn’t.
“Therewasafight,andallIrememberwasSheapullingme
away—tuggingmeawayfromMalik,takingmethroughthismazeoftunnels.”He
exhaledroughly.“Allshekeptsayingwasthatshewassorry.Thatshehadno
choice.”
Iliftedmyhandstomymouth,almostwishinghewouldn’t
continue.
“OneoftheAscendedcameafterus,corneredus,andhe…he
toldmeeverything.Tauntedmewithit.SheahadbeencaughtwhensheandMalik
hadsplitupwhilelookingforme.TheAscendedweregoingtokillher,andshe
toldthemwhoshewaswith.Shegaveupmybrotherinexchangeforherlife.”
“Oh,gods,”Iwhispered,heartcrackingashispainreached
outtome,minglingwithmyown.
“Theythoughtshewasgoingtoleavemebehind.That’swhy
theyagreed.Atwoforonespecial.”Helaughed,butitwasharsh.“They
weren’tpreparedforMaliktoputupsuchafight.ThatwashowSheagotme
out.Ididn’tbelievetheAscended.Itriedtoprotecther,andthenshetried
tobarteragain.Mylifeforhers.AndI…onceitseepedthroughthehaze,
throughthehunger,thatshewasthereasontheyhadmybrotherinsteadofme,
andthatshewouldhandmeovertothemagain,Ilostit.Ikilledthe
Ascended.Ikilledher.Withmybarehands.Idon’tevenknowifitwaspanic
thatdroveheractions.Ithadtobe.Shewasn’tabadperson,butitcouldn’t
havebeenlove.”
“No,itcouldn’thavebeen,”Isaid.“IknowIdon’thave
experience,butifyoulovesomeone,youcouldneverdothattothem.I’msorry
toevensaythat.Ididn’tknowher,butIjustknowyoucouldneverdothatto
someoneyoulove.”
“No.Youcouldn’t.Iknowthat.”Hisheadbowed.“Ithink
shedidlovemeatsomepoint.Whyelsewouldshecontinuesearchingforme?Or
maybeshefeltthatwaswhatwasexpectedofher.Idon’tknow.ButIwould’ve
chosendeathifthatmeantsavingtheoneIloved.”Hedraggedahandoverhis
faceashekepthisbacktome.“ItriedtofindMalikafter…afterthat,but
couldn’tfindmywaythroughthetunnels.Ifuckingstumbledoutontothebeach
atsomepoint,andbytheluckofthegods,amanfoundme.”
Heloweredhishand.“So,that’swhyIdon’ttalkabouther.
That’swhyIdon’tspeakhername,becauseasmuchasIoncelovedher,Ihate
hernow.AndIhatewhatIdid.”
Ishuddered,unabletofindwords—becausetherewerenone.
“Alastirdoesn’tknow.”Heturnedtomethen.“OnlyKieran
andmybrotherknowthetruth.Alastircanneverknowthathisdaughterbetrayed
Malik—ourkingdom.It’snotthatI’mtryingtoprotectmyself.Icandealwith
himlearningthatshediedbymyhands,butitwouldkillhimtolearnthe
truthofwhatshedid.”
“Iwon’teversayanything,”Ipromised.“Idon’tknowhow
you’vekeptthattoyourself.Ithasto…”Itrailedoff,lettingoutaragged
breath.“Ithastoeatyouupinside.”
“Iratheritdothatthanletthetruthdestroyamanwho
hasbeennothingbutloyaltoourkingdomandpeople.”Heleanedagainstthe
wall,eyesclosingagain.“AndShea?Idon’tknowifit’srightorwrongthat
peoplebelieveshediedahero.Idon’tcareifit’swrong.”
Istaredathim,seeingwhatIneverthoughtexistedunder
anyofthemaskshewore.Hisbodyhadbeentorturedaswellashissoul.“I
wishIknewwhattosay.Iwishyouneverhadtodothataftereverythingelse
you’dbeenthrough.Ihatethatyoufeelguilt,andIknowyoudo.Shebetrayed
you.Shebetrayedherself.AndI’msorry.”
Casteelopenedhismouth.
“Iknowyoudon’twantmysympathies,butyouhavethem,
nonetheless.Thatdoesn’tmeanIpityyou.It’sjustthat…”Istoppedsearching
hisemotionsthen.“Iunderstandwhyyouneverwantedtospeakofher.”
AndIunderstoodnowwhyKieranadvisedmetonevergodown
thatroad.
Casteelnoddedasheturnedbacktotheterracedoors.
TherewassomethingIdidn’tunderstand.“GiannaisAlastir’s
great-nieceandthemarriagetoherwashisidea?”Whenhenodded,Isaid,“And
hewasokaywithyoumarryinghisniecewhenyouwereoncewithhisdaughter?”
“Hewas.”
Iwrinkledmynose.“Maybeit’sjustme,butthatwouldweird
meout.Granted,Idon’tliveforhundredsofyearsor—”
“ItwasoneofthereasonsIcouldneveragreetothat
union,”hesaid.“Andit’snotGianna’sfault.She’sagoodperson.You’dlikeher.”
Iwasn’tsureaboutthat.
“Butshe…shelookslikeShea.Notexactly,buttheresemblance
isthere,anditwasweird,eventome.Butevenifshelookednothinglike
her,Ineverthoughtofherinthatway.”
UnsureofhowtofeelabouttheknowledgethatthisGianna
actuallylookedlikeShea—awomanCasteelhadoncelovedandwasbetrayedby,I
thoughtitover.Afterafewmoments,IrealizedthatnoneofthatwithGianna
andAlastiractuallymattered.Itwasjust…backgroundnoise.Whatmatteredwas
us.
“IknowwhyyousentKierantoAtlantia,”Itoldhim.“Youwanted
tomakesurehedidn’triskhislifetosaveyours.”
Hewasquietforamoment.“It’snottheonlyreason.
Alastirwillcallforourforcesandthenhewillgostraighttomyfatherand
mother—tellthemthatIplantomarry,andhe’llexpresshisdoubts.That’sthe
lastthinganyoneneeds.”
ThatwaswhatCasteelhadmeantwhenhespoketoKieran—what
hadcausedthewolventorelent.
KnowinghowmuchithadcosthimtotalkaboutSheaandnow
knowingwhathecarriedwithhim,itmadewhatIsaidnexteasierthanexpected.
“Iwastellingthetruthlastnightatdinner.”
RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter36
Slowly,Casteelturnedtome.
“ItwasthetruthwhenIsaidyouwerethefirstthingI’d
evertrulychosenformyself.It’salsotruethatIchoseyouwhenyouwerejust
Hawke,andit’snotjustbecauseyouwerethefirstpersontoeverreallysee
me.Thathadsomethingtodowithit,ofcourse,butifIwantedtoexperience
prettywordsorpleasure,Icould’vedonnedthemaskoncemoreandwentbackto
theRedPearl.I…Iwantedyou.”Mycheeksheated,butIcontinued.“Itwastrue
thatIhadalreadybeguntosuspecttheAscended,andwhetherIcouldbethe
Maiden.AndIchoseyoubecauseyoumademefeellikeIwassomeone,
thatIwasapersonandnotmerelyanobject.Yousawmeandacceptedme,but
whatyoudon’tknowisthatthenightIaskedyoutostaywithme,Ihad
alreadyleftbehindtheveil.I’dmademychoice.Iwantedtofindawaytobe
withyoueventhoughIhadnoideaifyouwantedthat.Andifyoudidn’t,it
would’ve…itwould’vehurt,butIwasnolongertheMaiden.Ifellforyouwhen
youwereHawke,andIkeptfallingforyouwhenyoubecameCasteel.”
Hiseyeswidened.
“AndIcouldn’tunderstandhowIkeptfallingforyou.Iwas
soangrywithyou—withmyselffornotseeingthetruth.Anditfeltlikea
betrayaltoVikterandRylan,theothers.Andmyself.”
Hischestrosewithaheavybreath.“Andyoustillfeelthat
way?Likeit’sabetrayaltokeepfallingforme?”Hetookastepandthen
anothertowardmebeforestopping.“Ifso,Iunderstand,Poppy.Somethings
can’t—”
“Somethingscan’tbeforgottenorforgiven,”Isaid,
rubbingmydamphandsovermyknees.“ButIthinkIrealized,orhavecometo
accept,thateventhen,somethingscan’tbechangedorstopped.Thatthey
stillmatterbutdon’t.Thatthoseemotionsarepowerful,butnotasstrongas
others.ThatwhatIfeltforyouhadnothingtodowithwhatyoudidordidn’t
do.IthadnothingtodowithVikteroranyoneelse.Andacknowledgingthatfelt
likepermissionto…tofeel.Andthatscaredme.”
Iplacedmyhandagainstmychest.“Itstillterrifiesme
becauseIhaveneverfeltthiswayaboutanyone,andIknow…Iknowithas
nothingtodowithyoubeingmyfirstortherebeing,well,limitedoptionsin
mylife.It’syou.It’sme.It’sus.WhatIfeel?LikehowIwanttotakeyour
painawayandyetthrottleyouatthesamemoment?Howyourstupiddimplesare
infuriating,butIlookforthemeverytimeyousmilebecauseIknowthat’sa
realsmile.Idon’tknowwhyIlookforwardtoarguingwithyou,butIdo.
You’reclever,andyouarekinderthanevenyourealize—eventhoughIknowyou
haveearnedthetitleoftheDarkOne.YouareapuzzleIwanttofigureout,
butatthesametime,don’t.AndwhenIrealizedyouhavesomanymasks—somany
layers,Ikeptwantingtopeelthemback,eventhoughIfearitwillonlyhurt
moreintheend.”
IshookmyheadasIcurledmyfingersaroundthecollarof
mytunic.“Idon’tunderstandanyofthis.LikehowdoIwanttostabyouand
kissyouatthesametime?AndIknowyousaidthatIdeservetobewithsomeone
whodidn’tkidnapme,orsomeoneIdon’twanttostab—”
“ForgetIsaidthat,”hesaid,closertomewhenIlooked
up.“IhavenoideawhatIwastalkingabout.MaybeIdidn’tevensaythat.”
Mylipstwitched.“Youtotallysaidthat.”
“You’reright.Idid.Forgetit.”Hiseyessearchedmine.
“Tellmewhythisterrifiesyou.Please?”
Mybreathsnagged.“Becauseyou…youcouldbreakmyheart
again.Andwhatwe’redoing?It’sbiggerthanus,andevenyourbrother.You
havetoknowthat.Wecouldactuallychangethings.Notjustforyourpeople,
butalsoforthepeopleofSolis.”
“Iknowthat,”hewhispered,hischestrisingandfalling
rapidly,hiseyesluminous.
“Andthingsarealreadycomplicatedandmessy,and
acknowledgingwhatIwant—whatIfeel—justmakesitallthemorecomplicated
andscary.Becausethistime…”Tearsburnedthebackofmythroat.“Thistime,
Idon’tknowhowIwillgetoverthat.Iknowthatprobablymakesmesoundweak
andimmatureorwhatever,butit’sjustsomethingIknow.”
“It’snotweak.”Casteelcameforward,buthedidn’tstand
there.Hedidn’tsitbesideme.Heloweredhimselftohiskneesinfrontofme.
“Yourheart,Poppy?ItisagiftIdonotdeserve.”Heplacedhishandsonmy
kneesasheliftedhisgazetomine.“ButitisoneIwillprotectuntilmy
dyingbreath.Idon’tknowwhatthatmeans.”Hestopped,curlinghisfingers
intotheleggings,intomyskin.“Okay.Fuck.Idoknowwhatthatmeans.It’s
whyI’minaweofeverythingyousayordo—everythingyouare.It’swhyyou’re
thefirstthingIthinkaboutwhenIwakeandthelastthoughtIhavewhenI
fallasleep,replacingeverythingelse.It’swhywhenI’mwithyou,Icanbe
quiet.Icanjustbe.Youknowwhatthatmeans.”
Hetookoneofmyhandsandpressedittohischest—his
heart.“Tellmewhatthatmeans.Please.”
Please
Twiceinoneconversationhe’dsaidthat,awordthatdidn’t
passhislipsoften.AndhowcouldIrefuse?
Ididn’tjustfocusonhimtogetwhatIwasnowlearningwas
acursoryreadingofhisemotions.Iopenedmyself,formingtheinvisible
tethertohimandwhathefelt.Itcamebacktomeinarush,anditwas
shocking.
Nottheheavyandthick-like-creamfeelofconcern.He
worried—aboutwhatwasgoingtohappentohisbrother,hiskingdom,tome.It
wasn’tthecoolsplashofsurprisethatmademethinkhedidn’tquitebelieve
thisconversation.Thetangy,almostbittertasteofsadnesswasminimal,and
theonlytimehisagonyhadn’tbeenrawandnearlyoverpoweringwaswhenI’d
takenhispainfromhim.Thatsurprisedme,yes,butwhatshockedmemorewas
thesweetnessonthetipofmytongue.
“Doyoufeelthat?”heasked.“Whatdoesitfeellike?”
“Like…itremindsmeofchocolateandberries.”Iblinked
backtears.“Berries—strawberries?I’vefeltthatfromVikter—fromIanandmy
parents.ButI’veneverfeltitlikethis—likeit’smoredecadentsomehow.”
AndIthoughtIknewwhatitwas.Itwastheemotionbehind
thelonglooksandtheseekingtouches.Thefeelingbehindthewayhisarm
alwaystightenedaroundmewhenwerodetogetherandwhyhewasalwaysmessing
withmyhair.Itwastheemotionthatdrovehimtodrawthatlinehewouldn’t
crosswithme.Itwaswhyhewouldn’tusecompulsion,anditwaswhatallowed
himtowanttoprotectmebutdemandedthatheallowmetoprotectmyself.It
washowwhenhewaswithme,hedidn’tthinkofhiskingdom,hisbrother,or
thetimehe’dbeenacaptive.
AnditwasoneofmanythingsforbiddentomeastheMaiden.
Itwaslove
“Don’tcry.”Heliftedmyhandtohismouthandkissedthe
centerofmypalm
“I’mnotcrying.I’mnotsad,”Itoldhim,andhegrinned.
Thestupiddimpleinhisrightcheekappeared.“Ihatethatstupiddimple.”
“YouknowwhatIthink?”Hekissedthetipofmyfinger.
“Idon’tcare.”
Thedimpleinhisleftcheekappeared.“Ithinkyoufeelthe
exactoppositewhenitcomestomystupiddimples.”
Hewasright,andIshuddered.
Casteelletgoofmyhandsandstretchedup,cuppingmy
cheeks.Heleanedin,pressinghisforeheadtomine,andIsworeIfelthis
handstremble.“Always,”hewhisperedinthebreathweshared.“Your
heartwasalwayssafewithme.Italwayswillbe.Thereisnothing
Iwillprotectmorefiercelyorwithmoredevotion,Poppy.Trustinthat—in
whatyoufeelfromme.Inme.”
Trust.
AsCasteel,he’dneveraskedmetotrusthim.Heknewhow
fragilethatwas.Onecrackcouldbringitalldown.
ButIknewwhatIfelt.
Inodded.“Idon’twanttopretendanymore.”
“NeitherdoI.”
“I…Idon’tknowwhatthatmeansforus,”Iwhispered.“Your
peopleandyourparents…theydon’ttrustme.You’rebasicallytheclosestthing
toimmortalthereis,andI’m…mylifespanisablink.Whatdowedonow?”
“Wedon’tworryaboutmypeopleormyparentsorour
lifespans.Notrightnow.Notevenlater.Wetakethisdaybyday.Thisisnew
toyou,andinaway,it’snewtome.Let’smakeadeal.”
“Youandyourdeals.”
Hislipscurvedintoasmileagainstmine.“Let’smakea
dealthatwedon’tborrowtomorrow’sproblemstoday.”
Tomorrowalwayscamesoonenough,butInodded.Becausein
thesamebreath,tomorrowwasn’ttoday’sproblem.“Icanagreetothat.”
“Good.”Hedrewback,andIthoughttherewasasheentohis
eyes.“Ifwe’regoingtodothis,forreal,thenIfeellikeIneedtomake
amends.AndIknowthelistofthingsIshouldapologizeforislong,butI
thinkIshouldstartwiththis.”Hemovedthen,risingsohewasononeknee
beforeme.
Myhearthadn’tstoppedracingandswellingfromthemoment
westartedtoreallytalk.Butnow,itbeatsofast,Ididn’tknowhowIdidn’t
passout.Hetookmyhand,andIwonderedifhecouldfeelittrembling.
Hecould.
Casteelfoldedbothhandsaroundmine,steadyingmyhand.
“PenellapheBalfour?”Hestaredupatme,andtherewasnoteasingglinttohis
eyes,nosmirktohislips.Nomask.Justhim.CasteelHawkethroneDa’Neer.
“Willyoudomethehonorofallowingmetoonedaybecomeworthyofyou?Will
youmarryme?Today?”
“Yes.Iwillgiveyouthehonorofbecomingmyhusband,because
you’realreadyworthyofme.”
Casteel’seyesclosedasheshuddered.
“Iwillmarryyou.”Idippeddown,kissinghisforehead.
“Today.”
ItwaslikenothingandeverythingchangedafterIaccepted
Casteel’sproposal
Istoodinthebathingchamber,skinmostlydryasItied
thesashontherobe.Apinkflushstainedmycheeks,andtherewasanear
feverishbrightnesstomyeyes.
Itwasstrange,thenervousflutterinmychestandstomach.
MarryingCasteelwasn’tsomethingnew,butitwasrealnow,andthatchanged
everything.
Whatwasalsostrangewastheunexpectedfeelingof
lightness,asifatremendous,suffocatingweighthadbeenliftedfromme.I
hadn’texpectedthat.I’dthoughtmoreguiltwouldsettleonmeafteradmitting
whatIfelttoCasteel.Instead,theguiltandthefeelingthatIwasbetraying
othersandmyselfhadleftme.
AsIdraggedthebrushthroughmydryinghair,Irealizedthe
guilthadactuallyleftmeinthecavern.Ijusthadn’trealizedit.
Andeventhoughalotofunknownstillfacedus—the
encroachingAscendedandwhatfeltlikethefirstactinawarthathadn’tbeen
decreedyet.HowCasteel’sparentswouldrespondtothenewsofhismarriage,
andifhispeoplewouldeveracceptme.Hisbrotherandmine,andthewholebiological
differencesbetweenusthatwouldonedaybecomeanissue,godswilling,whenI
agedandhebarelyshowedsignsofthepassingdecades—Iwasgoingtodo
exactlywhatCasteelhadsaid.
Wewouldn’tborrowfromtomorrow’sproblems.Oreventheproblems
wecouldverywellfaceinahandfulofhours.BecauseIwasabouttomarrythe
manI’dfalleninlovewith.
ThemanIknewfeltthesame,evenifhehadn’t
spokenthewords.
Iwashappy.
Iwasscared.
Iwashopeful.
Iwasexcited.
Andallofthoseemotionswerereal.
Aknockonthemaindoordrewmefromthebathroom.Iopened
ittofindVonettawaiting,asplashofreddrapedoveronearmandholdinga
smallpouchintheother.
“Ihearthere’sgoingtobeaweddingtoday,”Vonetta
announcedasshesweptintotheroom.“OnethatKieranisgoingtobesoirritated
he’snotherefor.”
“Isortof,kindof,wishhewastoo.NotthatI’llever
admitthattohim,”Isaid,andshelaughed.Closingthedoor,Ifollowedher
intothebedroom.“Itdoesn’tseemrightthathe’snotherewhenCasteel
marries.”
“Itdoesfeelweird,butI’mrelieved.Notthathe’smissing
thewedding.”Shelookedoverhershoulderatmeasshelaidwhatturnedoutto
beagownacrossthechaise.“Butbecausehewon’tbeherelater.”
“Iknow.”
“Casteelis…hehasagoodheart.Whathedidbysending
Kieranaway?They’rebonded,andI…Idon’tknowifanyoneelsewould’vedone
that.”
“Hedoeshaveagoodheart,”Iagreed,feelingmycheeks
flush.VocallycomplimentingCasteelwasn’tsomethingIdidoften.
Asmileappearedassheturnedbacktothegown,
straighteningtheskirt.“Anyway,Kieranisprobablygladhe’snothereforthe
actualceremonypart.”
Myheartskippedabeat.Iknewverylittleaboutan
Atlantianweddingceremony.TheonesinSolissometimeslasteddays.Thebride
wouldcutherhair,andtherewasbathinginwateranointedbythePriestesses
andPriests.Therewerenovows,butmanyfeasts.Aparticularpartalwayscame
tomindwhenIthoughtoftheAtlantians.“CanIaskyousomething?”
“Askaway.”Vonettafacedme.
“IlearnedabouttheJoiningafewdaysago.”Ifiddledwith
thesashonmyrobe.“Casteelsaidit’snotsomethingthat’sdoneoften,butis
itsomethingthewolvenwouldexpect?OrtheAtlantians?”
“Itreallydependsonthepartiesinvolved.Sometimes,the
bloodexchangeisdone,andothertimesit’snot.Butthechoicetodosogives
theimpressionoftherebeingastronger…well,forlackofabetterword,bond.”
Sheshrugged,andIcouldn’thelpbutnoticethatshedidn’tappearweirded
out,nordidshespeakaboutitasifitweresomethingsexualorshameful.“It
doesn’talwayshappenatthewedding.I’veknownittooccurbeforeandafter.”
Inodded.
“ButIdon’tthinkanyoneexpectsyoutodothat,”sheadded
quickly.
Mybrowspinched.“Why?”
Shestudiedmeforamomentandthensaid,“You’renot
full-bloodedAtlantian.There’sneverbeenaJoiningwithonewhohasmortal
blood.”
“Becauseitextendsthelifeofthemortal?”Iasked.
“Iimaginethathassomethingtodowithit.Andit’snot
oftenabondedAtlantianofanelementallinemarriesonewithmortalblood.
It’snotforbiddenliketheactofAscendingis,”shesaid,referencingthe
makingofavampry.“Itsimplyhasn’tbeendone.”
Ididn’tknowwhattothinkofthat.IftheJoiningextended
mylifespan,thatcouldresolveatleastoneoftomorrow’sproblems,butI
wasn’tsurehowIfeltabouttyingmylifetoanother’soreventheideaof
livingthatlong.
“Anyway,Casteelstoppedbywhenhewaslookingformy
fatherandaskedifIhadanythingthatwouldbedeservingofaPrincessto
weartoherwedding.Itoldhimno.ThatallIownedwasdeservingofaQueen,”
shereplied,andIgrinnedatthat.“BridesinAtlantiatypicallywearaveil
ofredoryellowtowardoffevilspiritsandbadblessings,buthementioned
thattheveilwouldbeano-go.”
Gods…
Thatwasincrediblythoughtful.
“SoIthoughttheredgownwouldbeperfect.Anditshould
fit,withtheexceptionofbeingabitonthelongside,sojustdon’trun
aroundinit.”
“I’lltrynotto.”
Shepickeditup,handingittome.“Underneathisared
slip.Justbasic.Youshouldgetchanged.Ihaveafeelingthey’llbehere
soon.”
Theflutterinmychestincreaseduntilitfeltlikeanest
ofadozenbirdshadtakenflightwhileVonettawentintothelivingroom.I
quicklydressed,donningthesilkyslipthatbarelyreachedmythighsandthen
steppedintothelooselydrapedgownofsilkandchiffon.Gatheredatthewaist
andform-fittingthroughthebust,itremindedmeofthegownI’dwornthe
nightoftheRite.Theskirtofthedresswassheertothethigh,formingtwo
gauzypanels,anddelicategoldenthreadwaswoventhroughouttheentiredress,
stitchedtoformdelicatevines.Thenecklinewaslooserthantherestofthe
bodiceandthestrapswerefittedsotheylayjustofftheshoulders.Therewas
nohidingthescarsinthiskindofdress,butI…Iwasdonehidingthemanyway.
“Thegownisbeautiful,”Icalledout.Amomentlater,Vonetta
returned.
Shesmiledwhenshesawme.“Definitelynorunning,though.”
Ilookeddowntowherethedressformedacrimsonpuddle
againstthetile.“Definitelynot.”
“Come.Sit.LetmeseeifIcandosomethingwithyourhair,”
shesaid,tossingthepouch.“Justholdontothis.”
Catchingthepouch,Ifounditsurprisinglyweighty.Isat
onthechaise,wonderingwhatwasinitwhileVonettaretrievedthebrushand
anarmyofpinsfromthebathingchamber.
“IthoughtIhadalotofhair,”shesaid,gatheringthe
sidesofmyhair.“Butdamn,youalmosthavemebeat.”
Runningmyfingersoverthevelvetypouch,Ithoughtof
Tawny.“Afriendofminewouldsometimeshelpmebraidit.Notbraidslike
yours,butacouplethatshewouldthentwistintoaknotsomyhairwouldn’t
bevisibleundertheveil.”
“Yourfriend?IsshebackinSolis?”sheaskedaftera
coupleofmoments.
“Yes.HernameisTawny.Youwouldlikeher,andshewould
loveyou.She’saseconddaughter—meaningsheisdestinedtoAscend,”Iexplained
asshetwistedandplaitedthesidesofmymostlydryhair.“Shehasnoidea
whattheAscendedaretrulylike,andIhavenoideaifshe’llAscendnowwith
mebeinggone.”
“KieranandCasteeloncetoldmethatalotofthepeopleof
Solisareinnocent—thattheyareunawareofwhattheAscendedreallyare.I
usedtofindthathardtobelieve,”sheadmittedasshegatheredthebraided
sidesandbegantotwistthemintoaknotatthebackofmyhead.“Butthemore
DescentersImet,themoreIlearnedthattheAscendedaremastersathiding
thetruth.”
“Theyare.”IswallowedasIstaredatwherethecurtains
weresecuredtothepostsandswayedslightlyinthebreezefromtheopen
doors.Myminddisobeyedme.Ithoughtoftonight,andthepossibilitythatthe
firstgroupofAscendedmayreachSpessa’sEnd.“Ihatewhat’saboutto
happen,”Iblurtedout.
Herfingersstilled.“Thewedding?”
“No.Gods.I’mactuallylookingforwardtothat,”Isaid,
lettingoutalittlelaugh.
“Yousoundlikethatsurprisesyou.”
“Itdoes,”Iadmittedsoftly.“Iwasthinkingaboutthe
Ascended.Whattheymaydowhentheyreachhere.I…IhatethatI’mthereason
everythingyouallbuilthereisnowatrisk.”
“Wewerealwaysatrisk,”Vonettasaid.“Soonerorlater,we
would’vebeendiscovered,andtherewouldbeafight.Weallknewthatwhenwe
agreedtocomehere.”
ButlikewithNewHaven,Iwasthecatalystthatmadethings
happensooner,beforetheywereready.
“Iimaginemostbridesdon’tthinkofsiegesonthenightof
theirweddings.”
“Butyou’renotmostbrides,areyou?”
Gods,shehadnoideahowtruethatwas
“You’reabouttomarrythehandsome,albeitannoyingas
hell,PrinceofAtlantia,Penellaphe.”Herwarmhandsbrushedmyshouldersasshe
gathereduptherestofmyhair,lettingitlayagainstmyback.“Andfromwhat
I’velearnedaboutyoufrommybrotherandCasteel,theAscendedhavealready
stolenalotofjoyfromyou.Don’tletthemstealthis.”
Idrewinadeepbreathandnodded.“Iwon’t.”
“Good.Canyouopenthepouch?”sheasked.“Andhandme
what’sinit.”
Lookingdown,Iunraveledthestringandreachedinside.My
lipspartedasIpulledoutseveralstrandsofdiamonds.
“Pretty,isn’tit?It’snotthenicestofnecklaces,butI
likeitssimplicity.”
“Thisissimple?”Istaredatthebrightdiamondsstrung
acrossthreelayersofchains.Therehadtobeatleasthalfadozendiamonds
perchain.
“ComparedtothestandardinAtlantia?Yes.”
IthoughtofthediamondCasteelhadpromised,andmyeyes
widened.
“Diamondsarealsoatraditionhere.”Vonettatookthe
necklacefromme,andIliftedthehairthatshehadleftdown.“Theyarethe
joyoustearsofthegodsgivenform,”sheexplained,securingtheclasp.
“Wearingthemmeansthegodsarewithyouevenastheyslumber.Didtheyhave
suchatraditioninSolis?”
IshookmyheadasIfixedthestrands.“Diamondsonly
representwealthinSolis.Thosewhohadthemeanswouldholdcelebrationsthat
lasteddays.I’veneverbeentoone,butfromwhatIknow,theAscendedtookcenter
stageduringtheweddings.Notthegods.Ican’tevenimagineaweddingthat
takesdaystocomplete.AretheylikethatinAtlantia?”
“Theycouldtypicallylastafewhours,whichiswhyKieran
wouldbegladtobemissingthatpart.”Shewalkedaroundthechaise.“Butwith
myfatherofficiatingthewedding,Idoubtitwilllastmorethanafew
minutes.”
“Oh,thankthegods,”IexclaimedasIstood.“I’msorry.
Daysorhoursisjust…it’stoolong.”
VonettalaughedasIroamedintothebathingchamber.“You
mayluckoutwiththeceremony,butIimaginethatonceyoureachEvaemon,the
KingandQueenwilldemandacelebrationinyourhonorandtointroduceyouto
yoursubjects.Thatwilllastdays.”
Mysubjects.Days-longcelebrations.
Icouldn’tthinkofthatasIlookedatmyreflection.The
threerowsofdiamondsglitteredinthesoftlamplight.Thedressandmy
hair—allofitwasbeautiful,anditwasmorethanIexpectedorhopedfor…or
evenwhatIknewIneeded.
Ispuntowardher.“Thankyouforthis—forallofthis.It
meansalot,Vonetta.”
“It’snotabigdeal,butyou’rewelcome.”
Itwasabigdealtolookandfeellikeabridewhenitwas
real.“Willyoubeatthewedding?”Iaskedandthenlaughed.“Idon’teven
knowwheretheweddingwillbeheld.”
“Icanbeifyou’dlike.AndifyoucallmeNetta.That’s
whatmyfriendscallme,andsinceI’mattendingyourwedding,Iimaginewe’re
friends.”
IsmiledasInodded.“AslongasyoucallmePoppy.That’s
whatmyfriendscallme.”
“ThatIcando.Bytheway,theweddingwillbehere.
Outside,actually.Theyarealwaysoutside,nomattertheweather,andyou
won’twearshoes.”
“BecausebothneedtobestandingonAtlantiansoil?”I
surmised.
“Correct.”Shebrushedseveralbraidsoverhershoulder.
“Andit’stime.They’rehere.”
“Wolvensensesmustbeamazing,”Isaidasmyheartstarted
topoundoncemore.
Shegrinned.“Theyare,butIsawmyfatherwalkpastthe
window.”
“Oh.”Ilaughed.“Well,then.”
“Youready?”
Nodding.Istartedtofollowheroutbutthenstopped.“One
second.”
Hurryingtothebed,Ipickedupthewolvendaggerand
secureditaroundmythigh.
“Planningtostabhimduringtheceremony?”Vonettaasked.
“WhydoeseveryoneactlikeI’msecondsawayfromstabbing
Casteel?”Idemanded.
“Apparently,youhaveahabitofit.”
“Ionlystabbedhim…afewtimes.”Iturned,fixingtheskirt
ofthegown.“ThedaggerwasgiventomebysomeoneIcareabout.Hewaslikea
fathertome,andinaway,he’llbewithmewhenIdosomethinghenever
thoughtI’dbeabletodo.”
SomethingIknewVikterwould’vebeenhappytosee,even
thoughIwasmarryingthePrinceofAtlantia.Inmyheartofhearts,Iknew
thatallthatwouldhavematteredtoVikterwasthatIwantedthisandthatIwas
cherished.
AndIknewbothweretrue.Theyhadbeentrueforlonger
thanIrealized.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter37
Thesunwashighaboveourheads,thebreezepleasant,and
thesandydirtandgrasswarmundermybarefeetasIwalkedwillinglytoward
him.
Hawke.
TheDarkOne.
PrinceCasteelDa’Neer.
Otherpeoplewaitedoutsideinthecourtyard.Jasperwas
there.NaillandDelanostoodbehindCasteel,tohisleft.Guardianswereon
theRise,keepingwatch,andVonettawasbehindme.ButallIsawwasCasteel.
Hecutastrikingfigureinallblack,possessingthewild
andprimalbeautythatalwaysremindedmeofthecavecatI’donceseen.He
stoodbarefootinthesoilreclaimedbyAtlantia.AndIdidn’tthinkhesaw
anyoneelseasIwalkedforward.Hestaredatmewitheyesluminouseveninthe
sunlight,andanalmoststartledlooketcheduponhisfeaturesasifhewere
utterlycaughtoffguard.I’dseenthatlookbefore,especiallywhenIsmiled
orlaughed.Hetooseemedunawareofanyoneelse,evenasVonettawalkedahead
andspoketohim.Hestared,evenashereachedintohispocketandhandedher
something.AndwhenIletmysensesreachhim,IfeltwhatIalwaysdidfrom
him,exceptthetartnessofconflictwasgone,andthechocolateandberries
tastewasfarstronger.
Icouldn’ttakemyeyesoffhim,notuntilVonettareturned
tomysideandpressedsomethingwarmandmetallicagainstmypalm.
“Thering.ForCasteel,”shewhispered.“Hehadthe
blacksmithmakethem.”
Ilookeddownatthegleaming,goldenband.Therewassome
sortofinscriptionontheinside,butIcouldn’tmakeoutwhatitwas.
Curlingmyfingersaroundtheband,Ididn’trememberhowI
gotthere,butsuddenly,IwasstandinginfrontofCasteel.Hestaredatme
likeIimaginedonewouldiftheysawagodstandingbeforethem.
“Youlook…”Casteelclearedhisthroatastheshadowsof
cloudsdriftedoverthecourtyard.“Youlookbeautiful,Poppy.Absolutely…”His
gazeroamedoverme,fromthebraidsinmyhair,tothediamondsatmyneckand
thendownthefittedbodicetothesheerlayersoftheskirtthatrippledin
thewind.Aslowgrinspreadacrosshislips.Thedimpleinhisrightcheek
appeared,andthentheleft.Hedippedhishead,hislipsbrushingagainstthe
shellofmyearashespoke.“AmIseeingthings,oristhatyourdagger
strappedtoyourthigh?”
Igrinned.“You’renotseeingthings.”
“You’reanabsolutelystunning,murderouslittlecreature,”
hemurmured.
“There’llbetimeforallthesweetwhisperslater,”Jasper
said,andwhenCasteelpulledback,therewasafireinhiseyes.“Youdolook
quitelovely,Penellaphe.”
“Thankyou,”Isaid.
“Whataboutme?”Casteelasked,andbehindhim,Naill
sighed.
“Youlookpassable.”
“Thatwasrude,”hereplied.
“Wouldyouliketogositintheshadeandnurseyour
woundedfeelings?Likeyoudidwhenyouwereyoungandinevitablyinjured
yourselfdoingsomethingincrediblystupid?”
Casteel’sbrowsloweredashelookedoveratJasper.“This
marriageceremonyisstartingoffinareallyweirdway.”
“True.”Thewolvenchuckled.“Let’sgetthisstarted,because
I’msureyou’remoreeagertofinishtheceremonythanyouaretostartit.”
Casteelshotthewolvenadarklook,andIwonderedexactly
whatthatmeant.
“Ineedbothofyoutofaceme,”Jasperinstructed,andthen
hewaiteduntilwedidjustthat.Hesmiledatme,andmyemotionsweretoo
scatteredtoreadhis,buttherewasfondnessinhisgaze.“Idon’tknowhow
muchyouknowaboutAtlantianmarriagesorhowtheydifferfromwhatisdoneis
Solis,butI’llwalkyouthroughit,okay?”
“Okay,”Iwhispered.
“Good.It’sprettysimple.Therearenovows.Nonethatare
spoken,anyway,”hecontinuedasthecloudsoverheadcastusinshadows.He
brieflyglancedupatthesky,raisingabrow.“Eachofyouholdsyourringsin
yourlefthandsandjoinsyourrighttogether.”
CasteelheldhisrighthandpalmupasIlookedoverathim.
Therewasnosmileonhisfacethen.Justacertainintenttothesetofhis
lipsandinhisgaze.Pulsepounding,Iplacedmyrighthandinhis.Thejolt
traveledupmyarm,andbasedontheslightwideningofhiseyes,Iknewhefelt
it,too.
“Lowertoyourknees.Casteelfirst,”Jaspersaid,andhe
didjustthat.“Nowyou,Penellaphe.”
Casteel’shandtightenedonmineasImovedtomyknees,our
gazesremaininglocked.
“Placeyourringsinthesoilbetweenyousothatthey
overlap,”Jaspersaid,andCasteelplacedagoldenband,onesmallerthanthe
oneIheld,onthesandysoil.Iplacedthelargeroneontopsotheopenings
overlapped.
Casteelknewthenextsteps.Hedidn’tlookawayfrommeas
hepickedupthedirtandsprinkleditovertherings.Henodded,andIdidthe
same,feelingthegrainydirtsiftbetweenmyfingersasIrepeatedhis
actions.
ThickcloudsgatheredaboveusasCasteelwhispered,“This
nextpartmayhurt,butonlyforafewmoments.”
Trustinghim,Inodded.
“Liftyourlefthands,palmsup.”Jasperkneltbeforeus,
andwithabriefglance,Isawthatheheldadagger—oneI’dneverseenbefore.
LiketheswordstheGuardianscarried,thebladewasgold.“Iwillmakeacut
ineachofyourpalms.Itwillhurtforamoment,andyouwilldowithyour
bloodwhatyoudidwiththesoil.Thewoundwillhealatonce,butyouboth
willcarrythemarkuntiltheunionisendedbydeathordecree.”
Iwasn’tsurehowawoundofminewouldhealimmediately.
“Andthatisall?”
“Usually,theseproceedingsareabitmoredrawn-out,but
thiswillbeit.AtleastforthepartsI’minvolvedin.”Ateasingglintfilled
Jasper’spaleeyes.“Casteelwillhavetofillyouinontherest.”
“Iwill.”Casteelgavemeaquickgrin.“Gladly.”
AshiverbrokeoutovermyskinasIliftedmylefthand,
palmup.Casteeldidthesameasheleanedover,crossingthedistancebetween
us.Hislipsbrushedmineashesaid,“Justamomentofpain.”
“Iknow,”Iwhispered.“Itrustyou.”
IheardthebreathCasteeltook,andIknewwhatthatmeant
formetosaythat,forhimtohearit.
“Unworthy,”hewhispered,andthenhekissedmeattheexact
momentIfeltthesharpstingofJasper’sdaggeragainstmypalm.Thekisswas
asbriefasthepain,butsomuchsweeter.
Casteelwithdrew,pressingourhandstogether,palmtopalm.
Hethreadedhisfingersthroughmineasheguidedourjoinedhandstothe
rings.AirhitchedinmythroatasIwatchedmyblood—ourblood—slide
downourpalms,toourwrists.Adropandthentwofell,splashingtherings.
JasperwasquietasCasteeleasedhishandfrommine.He
pickedupthesmallerring,hisrighthandstillclaspingmine.“I’llputthe
ringonyou,andthenyou’llputtheotherringonme.”
Inodded.
“Turnyourpalmuptothesky,”hesaidquietly.WhenI
turnedmyhandover,myeyeswidened.
Thecuthadclosed,butacrossthecenterofmypalmwasa
thinswirlofvibrantgoldthatshimmeredevenwiththesunlightobscuredby
clouds.“How…?”
Casteelgrinnedatme.“Magic.”
Ithadtobethat.
Myhandwassurprisinglysteadyasheslippedthedirt-and
blood-streakedringovermypointerfinger.Itwasalittleloose,butIdidn’t
believeitwouldslipoff.
“Yourturn.”
IpickeduphisandheldmybreathasIfitteditoverhis
finger.
AndthenIwatchedinstunnedsilenceasthedirtandbloodseeped
intotherings.Thebandsflaredanintensegoldandthenfaded,theirsurfaces
nowpristine.
“Itisdone,”Jaspersaid,rising.“Youarehusbandand
wife.”
Thedayturnedtonight.
MylipspartedasIlookedup.Thegatheringcloudshad
turnedtheskytheblackofmidnight,fromtheeasttothewest,tothesouth
andnorth.Notasingletraceofsunlightcouldbeseen,eventhoughit
couldn’tbemorethananhourortwopastnoon.
“Mygods,”Vonettawhispered.
Casteelroseswiftly,bringingmewithhim.Hepulledmeto
hissideashestaredupattheblacksky.
“Isthisanomen?”Iasked.
“Itis,”Jasperconfirmed,hisvoicerough.“Ihaven’tseen
anythinglikethissince…Gods,sinceyourmotherandfathermarried.Andeven
then,Casteel,itwasn’tlikethis.”
Casteelloweredhisgazetothewolven.
“Thisisanomen.Apowerfulone.”Jaspershookhisheadin
wonder.“AgoodonefromtheKingofGods.”Theunnaturalcloudsstartedto
scatter,andsunlightbrokethroughasJaspersmiled.“Nyktos,evenasleep,
approvesofthisunion.”
Thegoldbandglimmeredinthesunlightcascadingthrough
thewindowsofourbedchamber.Slowly,Iturnedmyhandover.Theswirlofshimmering
goldfollowedthelineclosesttomyfingers.Idraggedmythumboverthe
curlingline.Theheavydustingofgolddidn’tdisappear,andI…Icouldn’t
believeIwasmarried.ThatI’dgonefrombeingPenellapheBalfour,tothe
Maiden,andnow,PenellapheDa’Neer.
“Ihopeyou’renotalreadyhavingsecondthoughts.Butif
so,it’snotgoingtoruboff.”
MyheadjerkedupasCasteelstrodeoutfromthebathing
chamber.“I’mnottryingtorubitoff.”Iwatchedhimwalkaroundthebed,my
heartalreadytrippinginmychest.“AndI’mnothavingsecondthoughts.Ijust
don’tunderstandhowthisispossible—thegoldonmyhand.Howthebloodand
dirtjust…sankintotheringsanddisappeared.”
“WhenIsaiditwasmagic,Iwasonlyhalfteasing.”Hesat
besideme,takingmyhand.Thecontactsentajoltofawarenessthroughme.
“It’sthegods.Theirmagic.”Heranhisfingeralongthemark.“Andthisis
likeatattoobutgoesdeeperthanink.AllmarriedAtlantianshavethis
imprintuntiltheirmarriageends.”
“Throughdeathordecree?”
Darkwavestumbledoverhisforeheadashenodded.“Themark
willthendisappear.”
Thatwouldbeaterriblewaytodiscoverthatsomeonedied.
Ishivered.
Casteel’sgazeliftedtomine.“Didyounotbelieveinthe
godsatall?”
Istartedtosayyes,thatIdid,butitwasmore
complicatedthanthat.“IbelievedwhatI’dbeentaughtaboutthegodsbythe
Ascended.TheonlymagicwastheBlessing.Otherthanthat,theywerelike…silent
sentinelswhowatchedoverus,andthatitwasourdutytoservethemthrough
theRite.”Ilaughed—laughedatmyself.“NowwhenIsaythatoutloud,I
recognizehowridiculousitsounds.HowblindI’dbeen.”
“Itonlysoundsthatwaytosomeonetaughtdifferentlyfrom
birth.”
“WethoughttheirmagicwastheAscension.ThattheAscended
wereproofofthatpower,”IsaidasCasteeltrailedhisfingerstothering
aroundmypointerfinger.Irealizedsomething.“Itsurprisedmewhenyou
placedtheringonmypointerfinger.InSolis,theringiswornonthefourth
finger,butthelinetheimprintisonisclosesttothepointerfinger.”
“Clevergirl,”hemurmured,brushingbackthestrandsof
hairthathadfallenovermyshoulder.“Thelineinyourpalmisbelievedtobe
theoneconnectedtoyourheart.Thatiswhytheimprintismadethere.”
“It’ssortofbeautiful,”Iadmitted
“Itis,”hesaid,andIcouldfeelhisgazeonme.Mybreath
caught.“Idon’tknowaboutyou,butI’mfeelingallkindsofspecial,”he
addedasheskimmedhisfingersoverthebackofmyneckandthenthedelicate
chainsofthenecklace.“IthasbeenseveralhundredyearssinceNyktoshas
madehisapprovalofaunionknown.”
Mypulseskipped.“Notsinceyourparents.”
“SoI’veheard.Myfatherwouldboastaboutit.Tellanywho
listenedthatthedayturnedtonightwhentheceremonywascompleted.Idon’t
thinkMalikorIbelievedhim,buthewasn’tlying.”
“AndNyktoshasn’tdonethatforanyonesincethen?”
“Apparently,not.Thatisgoodnews,Poppy.”
“UnliketheBloodForesttreethatappearedinNewHaven?”
“Wedon’tknowifthatwasgoodorbad,”hereplied.“We
justknowitwasreallyweird.”
Ilaughed,unabletohelpmyself,anditfeltgoodtodothat.
Tonotfightalaughorasmile,andtobehappy.
ThatlookcrossedCasteel’sfeaturesagain.Theonehewore
whenIapproachedhimbeforetheceremony.Theoneheworeeverytimeheheard
melaughorsmile.“Why?”Curiosityfilledme.“Whydoyoulooklikethatwhen
Ilaugh?Orsmile?”
“Becauseit’sabeautifulsoundandsmileandyoudon’tdo
itnearlyenough.”Aslightflushcreptacrosshischeeksashelookedatmy
hand.“AndeverytimeIhearit,itfeelslikeI’vehearditbefore—andImean,
likebeforeIevenmetyou.Likedejavubutdifferent.”
ThatmademethinkofwhatKieranhadshared.“Whatdoes
heartmatesmean?”Iblurtedout.
Casteel’sgazereturnedtomine.“Howhaveyouheardof
heartmatesbutnotthemarriageimprint?”
“Well…”Idrewouttheword.“Yousee,youhavethisbonded
wolventhatoftensaysveryvague,mostlyunhelpfulthings.”
Helaughedatthat.“Hedoes,doesn’the?Hespoketoyou
aboutheartmates?When?”
“Afewdaysago.”Whatfeltlikeaneternityago.“Hesaid
hethoughtwewereheartmates,andIthoughthewascrazy.Hedidn’ttellme
whatitmeantotherthansomethingaboutitbeingmorepowerfulthanbloodlines
andgods.”
“Thatwasvague.”Asmileplayedacrosshislips.Itwasa
tiredexpression,butreal.Isawahintofbothdimples.“Heartmatesis…it’s
almostmoreofalegendthanNyktosgivinghisapprovalforaunion.Notfable,
butsorarethatithasbecomemyth.”Hetoyedwithadiamondteardropashis
lasheslowered.“Itstartedatthebeginningofrecordedtime,whenoneoftheancient
deitiesfellsodeeplyinlovewithamortalthathepleadedforthegodsto
bestowthegiftoflonglifeontheonehechose.Theyrefused,eventhoughhe
wasoneoftheirfavoritechildren.Andtheyrefusedeachandeveryyear,as
theonehelovedgrewolder,andheremainedthesame.Then,whenhisloverwas
oldandgray,thebodynolongerabletosupportlife,hisloverlefttojoin
Rhain,wherenotevenhecouldtravel.Heartbroken,thedeitydidnoteator
drink,anditdidn’tmatterthatthegodspleadedwithhim.EvenNyktoshimself
cametothislandandbeggedhimtolive.Hetoldhimthathecouldn’t,not
whenapieceofhissoulhadlefthimwhenhisloverdied.Itwasapiecehe
wouldnevergetback,andwithoutit,hehadnowill.Eventually,hebecame
dust.”
“That’s…that’sreallysad.”
“Somesayallgreatlovestoriesare.”
“Somepeoplearestupid.”
Helaughedagain.“ButI’mnotfinished.Thegodsrealized
theirmistake.Thattheyhadunderestimatedthecapacityforlove—oftwosouls
andtwoheartsthatweresomehowmeanttobejoined.Theywereheartmates.The
godsknewtheycouldnotbringtheirchildorhisloverback,butwhenit
happenedagain,withanotheroftheirchildren,anancientdaughterwho’dhadmany
loverscomeandgothroughouttheyears,theyrelented.Whenshecametothem
toaskthathermortalloverbegiventhegiftoflife,theyagreed,butontwo
conditions.Bothwerepresentedwithnearlyimpossibletrialsdesignedtoprove
theirlove.Iftheysucceeded,thedeityhadtoagreetobethesourceofher
lover’slife.Herloverwouldneedtodrinkfromhertoremainbyherside.Of
course,sheagreed,andtheycompletedtheirtrials.Theywoulddoanythingfor
theotherhalfoftheirsoulsandhearts.”
Myeyeswidenedasunderstandingsweptthroughme.“Her
loverwasthefirstAtlantian.”
Henodded.“Yes,theelementalline.Ithappenedagainand
againthroughoutthecenturies.Anancientdeitywouldfindtheirheartmatein
awolven,andthey’dcompletetheirtrialstoprovetheirlove.Somebelieved
thatwashowthechangelingsandotherbloodlinesbegan.Or,anAtlantianwould
findtheirheartmateinamortal,thereforecreatinganotherlineoncethegods
giftedthemwithlife.Thatkindoflovewasrare—isstillrare.When
acknowledgedbyboth,it’sthetypethatmeanstheywoulddoanythingforeach
other,evendie.Andheartmateshavealwaysbeenlinkedtothosewhohave
createdsomethingneworusheredingreatchange.ItissaidthatKingMalec
andIsbethwereheartmates.”
“Butiftheywereheartmates,thenwhydidn’tthegodsoffer
thetrialsandthengrantherthesamegiftoflifetheydidfortheother
heartmates?”
“Iftheyhad,thenthefirstvamprywouldn’thavebeen
created,andtheworld…theworldwouldbeavastlydifferentplace.”Casteel
followedthedirectionofmythoughts.“Butcreatinglifeiscomplexandfull
ofunknowns,evenforthegods.TheyneverforesawMalecbeinginventiveenough
todrainIsbethofherbloodandreplaceitwithhisinhisdesperationtosave
her.Buttheproblemwas,they’dalreadygonetosleepbythenandweretoo
deepintheirslumbertohearMalec’spleas.”
“Gods,”Iwhispered.“Thatissortoftragic.Imean,his
actionsstarted…allofthis.Andyes,hewasalreadymarried,butit’sstill
tragic.”
“Itis.”
“Andthegodsarestillasleep,unabletoofferthetrials
andgrantthosegiftsnow.”
“Butnottoodeepasleeptonotbeawareofwhatis
happening,”hesaid.“DoyounolongerthinkwhatKieransaidissocrazy?”
Myheartflip-flopped.“I…Idon’tknow.Whataboutyou?”
Asmilefullofsecretsappeared.“Idon’tknoweither.”
Myeyesstartedtonarrow,butthensomethingoccurredto
me.“Wait.There’ssomethingIdon’tunderstand.Malecwasadescendentofthe
ancientdeities,right?”
“Right.”
“ThenhowdidheturnIsbethintoavampry?Theother
deities—whentheirheartmatesweregiventheirblood,theyweren’tturnedinto
vamprys.”
“That’sbecausetheotherswerenotdrainedofblood.They
weregiventhegiftoflifebythegods,”heexplained.“Thetransformationis
notthesame.”
“Sortoflikeoneissanctionedbythegodsandtheotherisn’t?”
“Sortof.”Heshiftedcloser,droppinghishandtoreston
thebedbesidemyhip.Hisheadloweredslightly,andIallowedmyselftoread
him.
Hewasfeelingalotofthings,oneofthemIrarelyfelt
fromhim.ItremindedmeofwhatitfeltliketosneakintothecityAtheneum
andfindaninterestingbook,orwhenIwatchedthenight-bloomingrosesopen.
TimeswhenIwascontent.Hewascontent.Hewasalsowary,andIthoughtthat
wasforwhatcouldcometonight.Andhewas…hewassoverytired.
“Youstillhaven’t
slept.Youneedtosleep.”Istartedtoreachforhim,butstopped,unsureof
myself.Weweremarriednow.Moreimportantly,itwasreal—thiswasreal,what
wefeltforeachother.“TheAscendedcouldbeheretonight.”
“Iknow.”Heliftedhishead.“Iwillrest,butthereis
somethingelseIwanttodo.”
Mychestgotsuddenlytightasmymindwentinacompletely
inappropriatedirection.
“Wearemarried.It’sofficial,exceptforthecrowning,but
thereisanothertradition.”
Mythroatdried.“TheJoining?”
Heblinkedonceandthentwice.“I’mtryingveryhardnotto
laugh.”
“What?Thatisatradition,right?IaskedVonettaabout
it—”
“Oh,mygods.”Hedraggedhishanddownhisface.
“Andshesaid—”
“It’snotaboutthat,”hecutin.“It’saboutus.Justyou
andme,andthetraditionofsharingourselveswithoneanother.”
“Oh,”Iwhispered,andnowmymindwashappilyplaying
aroundinaveryinappropriateplace.“Like…sex?”
Hestaredatme.“Ireallyenjoythewayyourmindworks,
butthat’snotexactlywhatIwastalkingabout.”
“Well.”Myfaceheated.“Thisisawkward.”
Casteellaughedashecuppedmycheek.“Don’tfeelawkward.
ImeantitwhenIsaidIlovethewayyourmindworks.Butit’satraditionfor
acoupletosharebloodafterawedding.It’snotrequired.LikeIsaid,it’s
merelytradition,onemeanttostrengthenthebondsofmarriage.Notdoingit
doesn’tchangeanything—”
“Butdoingitchangeswhat?”
“It…it’sanactoftrust.”Hishandslidfrommyface.“It’s
apledgetoshareeverything.It’smostlysymbolic.”
Myheartwaspoundingagain,andthebodiceofthedress
suddenlyfelttootight.Itwasclearthatthiswassomethinghewanted,even
ifitwasonlysymbolic.Possiblyevensomethinghe’donceenvisionedhimselfdoing
withSheabefore…well,before.Ifeltasurgeofangerandpityfora
womanwho’dbeendeadformoreyearsthanI’dbeenalive,butitstilltooka
lotformetopushthosefeelingsaside.
“AndIknowtheideaofdrinkingbloodisn’texactlyappetizing
toyou.So,Iunderstandifyoudon’t—”
“Ido.”
Heleanedback,hiseyesturningbright.“Isitbecauseyou
wanttoorbecauseI’masking.”
“HowoftenhaveIdonethingsyou’vewanted,butIhaven’t?”
Helaughed.“Goodpoint.”Thehumorfadedfromhiseyes,
replacedbyadevouringsortofintensity.“Ifyou’resure.Onehundredpercent
sure?”
“Iam.”
“Thankfuck.”Hestartedtoreachformebutdrewupshort.
“Weneedtotakeoffthatdress.NettawillhavemyassifIreturnittoher
wrinkled.”Hisgazeliftedtomine.“AndIhaveafeelingit’sgoingtoget
verywrinkled.”
SodidI.
Pulsethrumming,Istoodandreachedforonestrap.Casteel
followed,takingholdoftheother.“Aretherebuttons?”
Ishookmyhead.
“Thankthegodsagain,”hemurmuredashedraggedthestrap
freeofmyarm.“BecauseIwouldlikelyjustgiveupandtearthething.”
“Youusuallyhavebetterpatiencethanthat.”Thedress
gatheredatmyhips.
“Sometimes.”Eyeingtheslip,hehelpedmestepoutofthe
gown.“Butnotwhenitcomestoyou.”
“Idon’tthinkthat’strue,”Isaidashestartedtotoss
thegown.Istoppedhim.“I’lltakethat.”
HislipspursedasIlaidthegownonthechaise.Hewaited
formeatthecornerofthebed.“Ireallyhaveathingforyouandlittle
ridiculousstraps.”Hereachedout,placinghishandsonmyribs.Hepulledthe
materialtautagainstme.“Andyourbreasts,buttheyarenotridiculousor
little.Regardless,Ihaveathingforthem,too.”
“Thankyou?”Isaidashewalkedaroundme,slidinghishand
acrossmystomach.Helaughed,andthesoundwaspartreliefandpartneed.I
didn’tneedmyabilitiestoknowthat.Istartedtoreachfortheclasponthe
necklace.
“Leaveit.”Heglanceddown.“Andthedagger.”
Mybrowsraised.“Seriously?”
“WhenwillyourealizeIspeakthetruth?”Thetiltofhis
lipswaswicked.“Itturnsmeonwhenyou’rearmedwithsomethingsharp.”
“There’ssomethingsoentirelywrongwithyou.”
Hecamearoundtomyfront.“Butyoulikewhat’swrongwith
me.”
“Thereissomethingwrongwithme,too.”Ilookedupathim.
“BecauseIdo.”
“Iknow.”Hetouchedmycheek.“I’vealwaysknownyoulike
thatIenjoywhenyoumakemebleed.”
Casteelkissedmeanditfeltlikethefirsttimeourlips
hadevertouched.Inaway,itwasafirstkiss,andCasteelandIhadmore
thanonefirst.Witheachtruth,eachchange,itwaslikestartingallover
againbutwithalltheexperienceandmemories.AndkissingCasteelwaslikedaring
tokissthesun.Iplacedmyhandsagainsthischest,feelingthewarmthofhis
skinthroughhisshirtandthis—allofthis—wasanotherfirst,becauseIkissed
withoutonceworryingifIshould,withoutwonderingifIwouldregretit.I
kissedwithabandon,andtherewasafreedominthatIhadneverknownbefore.
Hepulledmeagainsthim,onearmaroundmywaistashis
mouthtrailedoverthecurveofmyjawandthendownmythroat.Itensedwith
wickedanticipation.
“Thereareotherplaces,youknow?WhereIcandrinkfrom
you.”
“Likewhere?”
“Placesthatarefarmoresensitivethantheneck.”He
draggedhishanddownmyshoulder,cuppingmybreastthroughtheslip.His
thumbfoundtheachingpeak.“Likehereforexample.Wouldyoulikethat?Don’t
answeryet.Thereareotherplacesevenmoresensitive.Moreinteresting.”He
movedagain,overthecurveofmyhipandlowerstill.Hegatheredupthesilk.
“Liftyourarms.”
Istretchedmyarmsabovemyhead,shiveringashisclothing
brushedmynewlybaredskin.
Thesliplandedonthefloor,andthenhishandwasatmy
hipagain.Mythigh.IclosedmyeyesasIfelthislipsatmyneck.
Hisfingerstrailedalongmythigh,theringaroundhisfinger
coolagainstmyskin.“There’saveinthere,rightalongyourleg,withall
theselittleveinsbranchingoff.I’mthinkingyou’dreallylikethat.”
Ishuddered.“Willyoudothatnow?”
“Iwould,exceptI’mfeelingincrediblyarchaicrightnow,
andIwanttheworldtoseemyfreshmarkonyourthroat,”hesaid.“Andifthe
wholeworldsawthatmarkbetweenyourprettythighs,I’dhavetothenkillthe
wholeworld.”
“That’sexcessive.”
“Ifeelexcessive,Princess.There’sanotherplace,onethat
won’tsupplythatmuchblood,butIthinkitwillbeyourfavorite.”Hishand
cuppedmethen,betweenthelegs,andhisthumbpressedagainstthebundleof
nerves,drivingmetothetipsofmytoes.“Rightthere.Icouldtasteyouand
feedfromyouatthesametime.”
Asharpcurlofpleasuretwistedthroughme.“Soundsindecent.”
“Extremelyindecent,”heagreed.“Youdon’thavetochoose.
Later,becausetherewillbealater,”hepromised,andmychestsqueezed,
“we’lltryeverysingleoneofthoseplaces,andyoucantellmewhichisyour
favorite.Whatdoyouthinkaboutthat?”
“Ithink…”Abreathymoanescapedashisfingerslidinside
me.“I’mgoingtoenjoybeingveryindecent.”
“Icantell.”Hechuckledagainstmyskinashemovedme
backward,hisfingermovingslowly,shallowly.Heguidedmeontomybackandthen
withdrewfromme.“Bothofuswill.”
Ashemovedfromthebed,heslowedtokissthescarsalong
mystomachandthenthoseonmylegs.Thenhesteppedback,standingaboveme.
Iwascompletelyondisplay,wearingnothingbutthenecklaceandthedagger.
Shynesscreptintome,butIdidn’tmovetohideanythingfromhim.Ilethimlook
hisfill.
“Beautiful.Iwantyoutoknowthat.You’rebeautiful.Every
inchofyou.”
Likebefore,Icouldn’thelpbutfeelthatwaywhenhe
lookedatmelikethat.
Hishandsdroppedtotheflapofbuttonsonhispants.
“Watchme.”
IwatchedhimundressasI’ddoneinthecavern.Ifhe
thoughteveryinchofmewasbeautiful,thenhehadn’tlookedinamirror.All
thatsun-kissedskinandleanmuscle.Hisscarsweren’tflaws.Noteventhe
brand.Theywereamapofhisstrength,ofwhathe’dovercomeandareminder
thathe’dfoundpiecesofhimself.
Itstruckmethenhowhecouldfindmyskinsoflawless.He
sawwhatIsawwhenIlookedathim.
Andhehadsincehefirstsawmewithouttheveil.
Emotioncloggedmythroat,andIwashalf-afraidI’dstart
crying,butthenhemovedtome.Thehardlengthofhisbodycameovermine.My
senseswerenearlyoverwhelmedbythecoarsehairofhislegsagainstmyskin,
theweightandwarmthofhisbodyashesettledbetweenmythighs,thefeelof
hischestbrushingmine,andthehardnesspressingatthesoftestpartofme.
Hecurledhishandinmyhair,tippingmyheadback.“Youhave
noideahowlongI’vewaitedtodothis.TobeinsideyouasItakeapartof
youinsideme.TofeelyoucomearoundmycockwhileItasteyourbloodonmy
tongue.Itfeelslikeforever.”
AshudderwrackedmybodyasIdrewmylegsupoverhis.He
gaspedasthemotionbroughthimcloser.Iwrappedmylegsaroundhishipsand
liftedmine.Webothmadeasoundthenasheenteredmejustenoughtosenda
waveofshiversupmyspine.Casteel’sheaddroppedtomythroatashisfingers
tightenedinmyhair.
“Thenwhywaitanylonger?”Iasked.
Hedidn’t.
Hisfangspiercedmyskinatthesamemomenthethrust
forward.Icriedout,caughtbetweenacutepainandkeenpleasure.Icouldn’t
breatheormove,evenashismouthclosedoverthepunctures,andhedrewdeeply,
hishipsrollingagainstmine.
Andthentherewasnomorepain.Justpounding,relentless
pleasurethateruptedfromdeepinsideme,andhegotwhathe’dwantedatthe
start.ReleasepoweredthroughmeasIgrippedhisshoulders,breathedhisname
ashedrankfrommeandmovedinsideme,andthen—
Hishandwasatmythigh.Heliftedhismouthfrommyneck,
hislipsglossyandred.Heheldthedagger,andinadaze,Iwatchedhimdragthe
bladeoverhischest.Justaninchortwo.Bloodwelled.
“Drink,”hegasped,liftingmyheadtohispectoral.
“Drinkfromme,Poppy.”
Ithadtobehisbiteandthefeelingofhiminsideme,of
mybodytighteningaroundhim.Therewasnohesitation.Ikissedthecut,and
mymouthtingledasbloodtouchedmylips,mytongue.Warmandthick,itcoated
mymouth.Iswallowedthedecadent,lushtasteofhim.
“Gods.”Casteelshudderedasheheldmethere,foldinghis
otherarmundermyshoulder.
Therewasaburstofvividcolors—bluesandpurples.Lilacs.
Wasthatthesweettasteofhisblood?Wasitmore?Therewasasoundinmyears
suddenly,atrickleofwater—
Casteelstartedtomoveagain.Hisblood…itwaspuresinand
addictiveasIimaginedtheflowermynicknamewasderivedfromwas.Icould
drowninit,inthesensationsheelicitedfromme.Whenhepulledmyheadback,
Istartedtoprotest,butthenhismouthwasonmine,andwewerebothlost.
Therewasnosenseofrhythmorpace.Wewerefrenzied.The
effectsofhisbloodandbiteandmybloodbecamemadness.Tensionbuiltagain,
coilingdeeply,strokingtighterwitheverydeep,plungingthrustofourhips.
Thepressurespununtilitwhippedout,rockingmetomycoreagain,andhewas
righttherewithme,topplingovertheedgeandfallingandfalling.
Andhedidn’tstop.
Hekeptmovingoverme,inme,hismouthglidingovermine.
Hetookme,andIseizedhim.Wewereatangleoflegsandarms,offleshand
fire,andthebuildwasslower.Everythingwassloweraswetookourtime,
actingasifwehadallthetimeintheworld,eventhoughwedidn’t.Andwhen
wewerefinallyspent,wedidn’tletgoofeachother.Notevenashefinally
driftedtosleep,hisarmsstilltightaroundme.NotevenwhenIjoinedhim,
mycheekrestingupontheplaceI’doncethrustadaggerinto.
Andthatwashowwewokehourslater,afterthesunhadset,
tothelongtrillofasongbird.Acallthatwasanswered
Asignal.
Isatup,staringintothedarknessbeyondtheterrace
doors.
Casteel’schestpressedtomybackamomentbeforehekissed
myshoulder.“They’rehere.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter38
MoonlightglintedoffthegoldenswordsstrappedtoCasteel’s
sideaswewalkedacrosstheRise.Delano,whohadmetusatthedoor,had
giventhemtohim.
Theshort-sleeved,lightweightcloakIworeoverthedark
bluetunicandleggingshadbeenCasteel’sidea.IfanyAscendedwereamong
thosenearingSpessa’sEnd,theymaybeabletoseemewiththeirheightened
vision.ThatwastheonlyconditionCasteelhadgivenwhenIrosefromthebed.
“Thehoodgoesupassoonastheyarrive,anditstaysup
foraslongasitcan,”he’dsaid.“Don’tmakeyourselfatarget.”
“Ihavegoodnews,potentiallybadnews,andhopefullygood
news,”Emilsaidashemetusjustoutsideabattlement.“Ourscoutshave
reportedthatit’sthesmallergroupthat’ssettoarrive.”
“Howmany?”Casteelasked.
“Abouttwohundred.”
“IthinkIcanguesswhatthepotentiallybadnewsis,”
Casteelsaid.“Sinceitwouldn’thavetakenthislongtoarrive,theywaitedon
thelargerarmyandfornighttofall.”
Meaning,thereweremostlikelyvampryamongthem,andthere
wasatleastseveralhundredmorenotfarbehind.
“Thatandthey’vebroughtwhatappearstobecatapultswith
them,”Emilsaid.“Thesewallsmaybedamagedbywhatevertheyplantothrowat
us,butIdoubttheywillhaveanythingthatcantakethemdownifthey
remainedstandingthroughouttheWarofTwoKings.”
“Thesewallswillnotfall,”Casteelvowed.
“Whatisthehopefullygoodnews?”Iasked.
“Sincetheywaitedfortheirlargerarmiestojointhem,
it’shopefullygivenustimeforreinforcementstoarrive,”Naillansweredas
hecrossedtheRise
“Hopefullybeingtheoperativeword,”Emiladded.
“Therearealotofwhat-ifshere.AlastirandKieranwould’vehadtotravelnonstop.
Asizablegroupofoursoldierswould’vehadtobenearSaion’sCoveandready
totravel.”
Feartrickledthroughme,butIdidn’tgiveitroomto
breathe—togrow.Havingfearwasn’taweakness.Onlythefoolishandthefalse
claimedtofeelnofear,butthatemotioncouldspreadlikeaplagueifgiven
toomuchthought.Icouldn’tthinkofwhatcouldhappen—ifweweren’tableto
holdofftheAscended.IfKieranandAlastirhadn’tbeenabletosend
reinforcementsintime.
“Andthat’snot
takingintoconsiderationthemistintheSkotosandhowitwould’veresponded
tosuchapresence.”Emilpaused.“YourHighness.”
Ijoltedatthetitle.“Excuseme?”
Casteelglancedatme,aslightgrinappearinginthe
moonlight.“Incaseyou’veforgotten,I’maPrince.”
Myeyesnarrowed.“Ihaven’tforgotten.”
“Andwe’remarried,”hecontinued.“WhichmakesyouaPrincess.”
“Iknowthat,butthePrincessthingisn’tofficial.I
haven’tbeen…crownedorwhatever.”
“It’scustomarytorefertoyouasYourHighnessormy
Princess,evenbeforethecrowning,”Naillexplained.
“Canwenot?”Iasked.
“Itwouldbeconsideredagreatdishonor.”Naillpaused.“Your
Highness.”
Ilookedathim,andtheAtlantiansmiledinnocentlyatme.
Casteelsnorted.
“Bytheway,congratulationsonthemarriage,”Emilsaid,
drawingmygazetohim.Mysensestoldmehewassincere.“Ihaveafeelingyou
willmakeaveryinterestingQueen.”
Queen?
Ohgods,howintheworlddidIforgetthatinthewhole
this-marriage-is-now-for-realthing?TherewasnowayMalikwouldbeinany
shapetoleadthekingdomonceandifhewasfreed.Casteelwouldtakethe
throne.Eventually.AndIwouldbe…
Okay.
Iwasnotgoingtothinkaboutthat.
“Thenwewillbecallingyou—YourMajesty,”Emilsaid,
winkingatme.“Isn’tthatright,Cas?”
“Right,”herepliedflatly,placinghishandonmyhip.
“Bothofyoushouldbegettingintoposition.”
EmilandNaillmadeagreatshowofbowingbeforetheyleft.
“Whatwasthatabout?”Iasked.“Yousendingthemofflikethat?”
“It’sofficial,”Casteelsaid,watchingEmilashestopped
tospeaktooneoftheGuardians.“I’mgoingtohavetokillhim.”
Myheadwhippedinhisdirection.“What?Why?”
“Idon’tlikethewayhelooksatyou.”
Confused,IglancedbacktowhereEmilwaswalkingtoward
thestairwell.“Howdoeshelookatme?”
Hishandwasascaldingbrandonmyhip,eventhroughthe
layersofclothing.“HelooksatyoulikeIdo.”
Mybrowslifted.“That’snottrue.Youlookatmelike…”
Thoseheatedambereyesmetmine.“HowdoIlookatyou,
Princess?”
“Youlookatmelike…”Iclearedmythroat.“Likeyouwant
toeatme.”
Casteel’seyesnarrowedintothinslitsashisgazereturn
toEmil.“Exactly,”hesnarled.
Istaredathimandthenlaughed.Hisgazeflewtomine,his
eyesbrightandwideliketheyalwayswerewhenIlaughed.“You’reactually
jealous.”
“Ofcourse,Iam.AtleastIcanacknowledgethat.”
Andhewasjealous.Icouldfeelit,anashycoatinginthe
backofmythroat.“Youare…”
“Devilishlyhandsome?Wickedlyclever?”Heturnedbacktothe
westernsky,whereitstillcarriedthehazeoffire.“Stunninglycharismatic?”
“Thatwasn’twhatIwasgoingfor,”Itoldhim.“Morelike
ridiculous.”
“Endearinglyridiculous,”hecorrected.
Irolledmyeyes.“Youknow,notoncehaveIevenconsidered
seekingtheaffectionsofanother.NotsinceImetyou.”
“Iknow.”Hebenthishead,brushinghislipsovermybrow.
“Myjealousyisnotrootedinanythingyou’vedone.”
“Orinlogic.”
“Thatwewillhavetodisagreeon.Iknowhowhelooksat
you.”
“Ithinkyou’reseeingthings.”
“IknowwhatIsee.”Hepulledback,hiseyesmeetingmine.
“EverytimeIlookatyou,IseeagiftI’mnotworthyof.”
Mybreathcaughtasmyheartswelled.Itwasn’tnew—him
sayingthingslikethat.Whatwasnewwasmebelievingthem.“Youare
worthy,”Itoldhim.“Mostofthetime.”
Hecrackedagrin.“Ithinkthat’sthenicestthingyou’ve
eversaidtome.”
Iwonderedifthatwastrueaswesteppedintoaparapet.
Bowsandstockedquiverswereplacedagainstthewall.Ilookeddownatthe
darkroadandfieldsahead,seeingnothing.
“Aretheydownthere?”Iasked,recallingwhatI’dlearned
whentheydiscussedstrategies.“Thewolven?”
“Theyareinthefields,wellhidden,evenfromvampry
eyes.”Heplacedhishandsonthestoneledge,andtheringonhisfinger
snaggedmygaze.“TheGuardiansareinplace,waitingformylead.Thosewho
canwieldaswordareinthecourtyard,andtheothers,theonesskilledwitha
bow,willbeuphere.”
Pullingmygazefromhisring,Ilookedovermyshoulder.
Theywerealreadyarriving.Mortalswhoweretoooldtoliftmorethanabow.
TheGuardiansescortedthemtodifferentparapets.Thetrickleoffearreturned
asIturnedbacktoCasteel.“Howmanydowehave?Thefinalcount?”
Hisjawhardened.“Onehundredandtwenty-six.”
IpressedmylipstogetherandclosedmyeyesasIforced
myselftotakeadeep,evenbreath.
“Iwishyou’dgonewithAlastirandKieran,”hesaidquietly.
“Youwouldbefarawayfromhere.Safe.”
Iopenedmyeyes.
Casteelstaredintothedarkness.“ButI’mgladyou’rehere.
Spessa’sEndneedsyou.Ineedyou.”Helookedatmethen.“ButIstillwish
youweren’there.”
Icouldacceptthat.“Iwishyouweren’there,”Iwhispered.
“Iwishtheyweren’tcoming.”Iletalittleofthefearthrough.“Westill
plantofreeyourbrotherandseemine,right?Westillplantopreventawar?”
Henodded.
“Butaftertonight?”IswallowedasIlookedouttothe
westernsky.“Itmaybetoolate.Warhascometous.”
“It’snevertoolate.Notevenafterbloodhasbeendrawn
andliveshavebeenlost,”hesaid.“Thingscanalwaysbestopped.”
Ihopedso.Ireallydid.
Heturnedtome,touchingmycheek.“Wemaybeabsurdlyoutnumbered,
buteveryonewhopicksupaboworswordtofightforSpessa’sEnd,for
Atlantia,doessobecausetheywantto.Notformoney.Notbecausejoiningthe
armywastheironlyoption.Notoutoffear.Wefighttolive.Wefightto
protectwhatwe’vebuilthere.Wefighttoprotectoneanother.Noneofthem—the
Ascended,theknights,Solissoldiers—willfightwithheart,andthatmakesthe
difference.”
Iblewoutasteadierbreath.“Itdoes.”
Hewasquietforamoment,andthenIfelthislipsagainst
mycheek,againstthescars.“Iwillaskoneotherthingofyou,Poppy.Stayup
here.Nomatterwhat.Stayuphereandusethebow.Andifsomethingwereto
happentome,run.Gotothecavern.Kieranwillknowtofindyouthere—”
“That’saskingtwothingsofme.”Pressureclampeddownon
mychest.
“Youarewhattheywant,”hesaid.“Withyou,theywillbe
abletodomoreharmtobothAtlantiaandSolisthanifanythinghappensto
me.”
“Ifanythinghappenstoyou—”Icutmyselfoff,unabletogo
therewheneverythingbetweenusnowwasstillsonew,whenitwouldbreathe
lifeintothefearIalreadyfelt.“Thesepeopleneedyoumorethantheyneed
me.”
“Poppy—”
“Donotaskmetodothat.”Ilookedathim.“Donotaskme
torunandhidewhilesomeoneIcareaboutishurtorworse.Iwillnotdothat
again.”
Heclosedhiseyes.“Thisisnotthesame.”
Istartedtodemandhowitwasn’twhenIheardthelowcall
ofwarningfromthefields.Bothofusturnedasfiresparkedandatorch
flamedtolifeinthedistance,oneafteranotheruntillightspilledacross
theemptyroad.
Casteelsignaledbackashereachedforthehoodofmy
cloak,pullingitup.Ashefastenedtherowofbuttonsatmythroat,the
archersrushedforward,droppingbehindthebattlementwalls.
Heartratekickingupandbreathsbecomingtooquick,I
pickedupabowandanarrowoutofthequiver—itwasthekindIwasfamiliar
with—andsteppedbacksoIwouldn’tbeseenbeyondthestonewalls.Casteel
remainedwherehestood,theonlypersonvisibletotheapproachingregiment.
Insteadofwhatmarchedforward,Istaredathim,focusedonthestraightline
ofhisspineandtheproudliftofhischin.Andasthesilencegavewaytothe
soundofdozensofbootsandhoovesfallinguponthepackedearthandthecreak
ofwoodenwheelsturning,mysensesstretchedouttohim.Therewasthebitter
tasteoffear,becausehewasnofool,butitwassuchasmallamountbecause
hewasnocoward
“Thiskindofremindsme,”henoted,“ofthenightontheRise
inMasadonia.Exceptyou’renotwearingslippersandaratherindecent
nightgown.Idon’tknowifIshouldberelievedordisappointed.”
Myheartslowed,andmybreathswerenolongershallow.My
spinestraightened,andmychinlifted.“Youshouldbegrateful.Youwon’tbe
distractedtonight.”
Helaughedsoftly.“Stillalittledisappointed.”
Ismiledasmygriptightenedonthebow.
Therewerenomorewordsthenaswewatchedthesoldiersof
Solisdrawcloser,shovingtorchesintotheroadandembankments.Theirfront
linesweremortalsoldiers,carryingheavybroadswordsandwearingplatesof
leather.Horsespulledthreecatapults,andbeyondthemwerethearchersand
mountedsoldiersinmetalarmor,wearingblackmantles.Knights.Theywere
maybetwodozenorsoofthem.Notmany,butenoughtobeaproblem.
Theknightspartedasawindowless,crimsoncarriagerolled
forwardbetweentwoofthewoodencatapults.Therewassomethinginthem.I
squinted.Sacks?Itwasn’tgunpowderorotherprojectiles.Insteadofrelief,
uneaseblossomed.
Soldiersparted,makingwayforthecarriagethatborethe
RoyalCrest.Severaloftheknightsrodeforward,surroundingtheconveyanceas
thewheelsstopped,protectingwhoeverwasinside.
IthadtobeaRoyal.
Thedooropened,andsomeonesteppedout—someonesoheavily
cloakedthatwhentheymovedaroundthedoor,Icouldnottellifitwasaman
orawomanwhowalkedforward,flankedbyknights.Whoeveritwas,tooktheirsweet
oldtime,stoppingoncetheystoodinfrontofthesoldiers.Glovedhandsrose,
shovingbackthehood.
“Youhavegottobekiddingme,”Imutteredundermybreath.
DuchessTeermanstoodbeforetheRise,herfaceaspaleand
prettyasIremembered,butsheworenofineryinherbrownhairtonight.It
waspulledbackfromherfaceinasimpletwistasshestaredupattheRise.
AnditwasthenwhenItrulyfearedwhatIwoulddiscover
whenIsawIanwithmyowneyes.DuchessTeermanhadbeenkind—well,shehad
neverbeenparticularlycrueltome.She’dbeenascoldandunreachableasmost
Ascendedwere,butwhenIkilledLordMazeen,shehadtoldmenottowastea
momentmorethinkingofhim.Ibelievedthatperhapsshetoohadbeenavictim
oftheDuke’sperversities.Maybeshehadbeen,butthefactthatshewashere
couldonlymeanonething.
Shewastheenemy.
WouldthatmakeIanone,too?
Herberry-redlipscurvedintoatight,humorlesssmile.“Hawke
Flynn,”shesaid,hervoicetoofamiliarasIquietlynockedanarrow.“Oris
thereanothernameyouprefer?”
“Itdoesn’tmatterwhatnameyoucallme,”heanswered,
soundingaboutasboredasKierandidduring,well,everything.
“ItwouldberudeifIcalledyoubyafalsename,”she
replied,claspingherhandstogether.Thesoldiersandknightsremainedsilent
andstillbehindher.“Idon’twanttoberude.”
“Igobyseveralnames.TheDarkOne.Bastard.Cas.Prince
CasteelDa’Neer,”hesaid,andtherewasnomistakingtheslightwideningof
hereyes.Shehadn’tknownthat—whohetrulywas.“Callmewhateveryoulikeas
longasyouknowitwillbemyvoicethatwillbethelastsoundyouhear.”
“PrinceCasteel,”shespokethewordsasifshe’dbeenpresented
withanentirechocolatecake…orwithanelementalAtlantian.Shelaughed.“Oh,
I’veheardallaboutyoufromourQueenandKing.Theyalwayswondered
whereyoudisappearedto.Whathappenedtoyou.NowIcantellthemthattheir
favoritepetiswellandalive.”
Pet?Thegripofthebowdugintomypalm.
“Youknow,Imightjustletyoulive,Duchess.Justsoyou
canreturntoyourKingandQueentoletthemknowtheirfavoritepet
cannotwaittoseethemagain.”
Teermansmiledevenbroader.“I’llbesuretodoso.Thatis
ifyouallowmetolive.”Therewasacoynesstohertonethatskatedacrossmy
nerves.Wassheflirtingwithhim?“Butbeforeyougettothekilling,I’mhere
topreventdeath.”
“Isthatso?”Casteelasked.
Shenodded.“Youhavetoknowthattherearemorethanthose
whostandbehindme.”Ahandextendedwithalltheeleganceofaballroom
dancer.“Oneofyourdogsmadeitbacktoyou,didhenot?Theother,well,our
horseshavebeenwellfed.”
Nauseaseizedme.Shecouldn’tbeserious.Iwantedto
vomit.
“Youknowthatweoutnumberwhateveryouhavebehindthose
walls.Therecan’tbemanylivinginruins,”shesaid,givingawaythe
knowledgethatsheknewverylittleofSpessa’sEnd.Thateasedsomeofthehorror
churningwithinme.“EvenifitwerehundredsofDescenterswithafew—albeit
oneless—overgrownmutts,youwillnotwalkawayfromthis.So,Iamhereto
preventthat.”
“AndIamheretotellyouthatifyourefertoawolvenas
adogonemoretime,Iwillstrikeyoudownbeforethoseknightshaveachance
toblink,”Casteelwarned.
“Myapologies.”Teermanbowedherhead.“Imeantnooffense.”
Really?Irolledmyeyessohardthatitwasnowonderthey
didn’tgetstuckbackthere.
“Idohopewecancometoanagreement.Believeitornot,
spilledbloodmakesmesqueamish,”shesaid.“It’sso…wasteful.So,mostofmy
armieshaveremainedbackinashowofgoodfaith.Inhopesthatyouwill
listen.”
“Itdoesn’tappearasifIhavethechoicenotto
listen.So,please.Speak.”
TheDuchessheardtheinsolenceinhistone.Itshowedin
thetensingofherjaw.“Youhavewhatbelongstous.Wewantitback.Giveus
theMaiden.”
Belongedtothem?It?IdrewoneveryounceofwillpowerI
hadnottoliftthebowandsendabloodstonearrowstraightthroughhermouth.
“GivetheMaidenbacktous,andwewillleavethispitof
bonesuntouchedforyoutocrossbacktowhateverremainsofyouronce-great
kingdom.”
IfherwordsrepresentedtheentiretyoftheAscended,they
trulyhadnoideawhattheywereupagainst.Whatkindofhailstormcould
descenduponthemifsomethingdidhappentoAtlantia’sPrince
“AndifIdid,youwouldjustwalkaway?Allowmeandmine
tolive?”
“Fornow?Yes.You’refartoovaluabletokillifwecan
captureyou,butrightnow,theMaidenisthepriority.”Herpitch-blackeyes
reflectednolight.“Andtherewillbemorechancestocaptureyoulater.
You’llbeback.Foryourbrother,correct?Isn’tthatwhyyoutookourMaiden?To
ransomherforhim?”
Casteelstiffened,andthefactthatheremainedsilentwas
evidenceofhiswillpower.
“Ihatetobethebearerofbadnews,buttherewillbeno
ransom.Youeithergivehertousor…”
WhenCasteelsaidnothing,sheinclinedherhead,searching
thebattlements.“Penellaphe?Issheupthere?I’veheardyouhavegrown
quite…familiarwithher.”
CasteelsaidnothingasIstareddownather,notallowing
myselftothinktoohardonhowshecould’velearnedthat.
“Ifyouareupthere,Penellaphe,pleasesaysomething.Show
yourself,”shecalled.“Iknowyoumustthinkterriblethingsofusnow,about
ourQueenandKing.ButIcanexplaineverything.Wecankeepyousafeaswe
alwayshave.”HergazeflickeredpastwhereCasteelstood.“Iknowyoumiss
yourbrother.He’slearnedofyourcapture,andhe’ssickwithworry.Ican
bringyoutohim.”
Ialmoststeppedforward,almostopenedmy
mouth.Sheknewhowtogettome,butshealsomust’vethoughtIwasan
incredibleimbecileifshethoughtthatwouldwork.
“DoyouknowwhathappenedtothelastAscendedwhocame
lookingfortheMaiden?”Casteelasked.
“Ido,”DuchessTeermanreplied.“Thatwillnothappenhere.”
“Areyousure?”heretorted.“Becausewhatyouseeknever
belongedtoyouinthefirstplace.”
“That’swhereyou’rewrong,”Teermancountered.“Shebelongs
totheQueen.”
Myself-controlsnapped,andImovedbeforeIcouldstop
myself,reachingthebattlementasIsaid,“Ibelongtonoone,andespecially
nother.”
Casteelslowlyturnedhisheadtowardme.“Thisisnot
stayingunseen,”hesaidinalowvoice.“Incaseyou’reunsure.”
“Sorry,”Imuttered.
DuchessTeerman’stight,toothlesssmilereturned.“Thereyou
are.Youwereuptherethisentiretime.Whydidn’tyousaysomethingearlier?”
Sheheldupherhand.“Noneedtoanswerthat.I’msureit’sbecauseofwhat
you’vebeentold—oneverybiasedsideofthestory.”
“I’veheardenoughtoknowthetruth,”Itoldher.“Have
thosewhostandbehindyou?Dothesoldiersknowthetruthofwhatyouare?Of
whattheKingandtheQueenare?”
“YouhavenoideawhatQueenIleanais,andneitherdoesthe
falsePrincestandingbesideyou,”shereplied.“Andyou’rewrong,Penellaphe.
YoubelongtotheQueen.JustlikethefirstMaidendid.”
“ThefirstMaiden?TheoneIsupposedlykilledbutnevermet?”
Casteeldemanded.“Theonethatprobablydoesn’tevenexist?”
“Imayhaveinsinuatedthatyouweredirectlyresponsible
forherfate,”theDuchessreplied.“ButthefirstMaidenwasveryreal,and
shetoobelongedtotheQueen.Justlikeyoudo,Penellaphe.Asdidyourmother.”
“Mymother?”Thestringofthebowwastautbetweenmy
fingersasIkeptthearrowpointeddown.“Mymotherwasherfriend.Orat
leastthatwaswhatIwastold.”
“Yourmotherwassomuchmorethanthat,”shecalledback.
“I’lltellyoueverythingabouther—aboutyou.”
“Sheknowsnothing,”Casteelsaid.“TheAscendedaremasters
ofmanipulation.”
“Iknow.”AndIdid.“ThereisnothingyoucansaythatI
willbelieve.IknowabouttheRite.Iknowwhathappenstothethirdsonsand
daughters.IknowhowtheAscensionworks.Iknowwhyyouneedme.”
“ButdoyouknowthatyourmotherwasQueenIleana’sdaughter?
ThatyouaretheQueen’sgranddaughter?ThatiswhyyouaretheMaiden.The
Chosen.”
Mylipspartedonasharpinhale.
“You’renotevenagoodliar,”Casteelsnarled.“Whatyou’re
suggestingisimpossible.Ascendedcannothavechildren.”
TheDuchesstiltedherhead.“WhosaidthatQueenIleanais
anAscended?”
“EveryAscendedinSolishasclaimedasmuch.Yourhistory
bookshavestatedit,”Iexclaimed.“TheQueenherselfhascalledherselfan
Ascended.Areyouseriouslytryingtosaysheisnotwhatsheis?Whenshedoes
notage?Whenshedoesnotwalkinthesun?”
“Theywereliesdesignedtoprotectthetruth—toprotect
yourmotherandyou,”shereplied.
“Protectme?”Ilaughed,andthesoundwasharshtomyears.
“Isthatwhatyoucallkeepingmelockedinmyrooms?Forcingmetowearthe
veilandforbiddingmetospeak,eat,orwalkwithoutpermission?Isthatwhat
theDukewasdoingwhenhetookacanetomybacksimplybecauseIbreathedtoo
loudlyordidn’trespondinawayhefoundappropriate?Whenheputhishands
onme?Allowedotherstodothesame?”IdemandedasCasteelstiffenedeven
more.Angerfloodedme,andIalmostliftedthebowthen,almostreleasedthe
arrow.“IsthathowyouandtheQueenprotectedme?Don’ttellmeyoudidn’t
know.Youdid,andyouallowedit.”
DuchessTeerman’sporcelainfeatureshardened.“IdidwhatI
couldwhenIcould.Ifhehadn’tmethisfateatthehandsoftheonebeside
you,hesurelywouldhaveoncetheQueenknew.”
“Youmean,mygrandmother?WhosentLordChaneyafterme?
Whobitme?”Idemanded.“Whomostlikelywould’vekilledme?”
“Ididn’tknowthat,”sheargued.“ButIcanexplain—”
“Shutup,”Isaid,donewithher,donewiththeirlies.“Just
shutup.Thereisnothingyoucansayordothatwillmakemebelieveyou.So
getwhateveritisyouthinkyou’regoingtodohereoverwith,Jacinda.”
Herfeaturessharpenedattheuseofherfirstname,something
shesporadicallyrequiredfromme.
“Feisty,”Casteelmurmured.“Ilikeit.”
“I’mthisclosetoshootingherinthefacewithanarrow,”
Iwarnedhim.
“Ilikethat,too,”hereplied.
TheDuchesssteppedforward.“IcanseethatnothingIsay
atthistimewillhelpmakethisgosmoothly.PerhapsthegiftsIbroughtwill
changebothofyourminds.”
Casteelstraightenedasshetiltedherheadback,towardthe
soldiers.Severalmovedtothecatapults.Soldiersgrippedthesacks,emptying
whateverwasinthemandthenkneltasreleaseswerethrown.Itensedasmetal
groaned.
Thecatapultsswungforward,oneaftertheother,releasing
thegiftsasCasteelgrabbedme,shieldingmybodywithhis.
Butwhatwassentatusflewhighaboveus.Theyflungthrough
theair,overthebattlements.Weturnedastheyhitthestonewallsbehindus.
Thesoundofthem,thefleshysmack,thesmeartheyleftbehindonthewalls
thatcouldbeseeneveninthemoonlightandalongthefloorastheytumbled
forward,turnedmystomachasthebowloosenedinmygrip.Thenockedarrow
trembled.
Onehadlong,blackhair.
Anotherashroudofsilver.
Aglimpseofskinthatwasonceabeautifulonyx.
Anexpressionfrozeninfearforaneternity.
Heads.Theywereheads
Somanyofthem.
Magda.
Themotherofthewomanwho’ddied.
Keev,thewolven.
TheAtlantianmanwho’drefusedmytouch.
AheadrolledtoastopbyCasteel’sfeet.ThemomentIsaw
theblood-stainedbeard,mythroatsealed.
ElijahRichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter39
Istaggeredbackastep,myhorrifiedgazeliftedtoCasteel
andthentowhereDuchessTeermanhadstood.Shewasnolongerthere.
IturnedbacktoCasteel.
Hischestexpanded,butnobreathlefthimashestareddown
atthegift
“Casteel,”Iwhispered.
Slowly,heturnedfromthegrotesquesightandeyesnearly
asblackasanAscended’smetmine.
AndIknewtherewouldbenomoretalking.
Lockingdownmysensesandshuttingoffmyemotions,my
horrorandfury,Iexhaledroughly.
“Killasmanyofthemasyoucan.”Releasingthegoldenswords
fromhissides,hespunbacktotheedgeandleapt.
HeleaptfromthetopoftheRise,adozenfeetor
moreabovethefield.
Rushingtotheedge,hisnamewasascreamnotgivensound.
Helandedinacrouch,swordsathissidesasherosebeforeanarmyofhundreds
“Niceofyoutojoinus,”aknightcalledout.“TheDarkOne
allalone?Theoddsarenotinyourfavor.”
“Iamneveralone,”Casteelgrowled.
Piercingscreamsrangfromeverysideofme,pitchingand
fallinginabattlecrythatwouldsendaboltofdreadthroughthemost
seasonedwarrior.
TheGuardians
Theymovedassilentlyaswraiths,appearingonthe
battlements.Theyswepttheirswordsabovetheirheads,bringingthemtogether
inathunderousclap.Sparkseruptedfromtheswords,igniting.Isuckedina
breathasgoldenflamesspiraledovertheblades,encasingthestonebladesin
fire.FlameseruptedacrosstheRise.Thentheytoowentovertheside,oneby
one,fallinglikegoldenstars.Bythetimetheylanded,Casteelwasnothing
morethanabluramongleatherandarmor,cuttingapathintothelinebefore
theyevenknewhewasthereasheheadedstraightforthecarriage.Hewas
goingtokilltheDuchess.
AndforonceIcarednothingfordignityindeath.
Drawinginadeep,steadyingbreath,Iliftedthebowand
nockedthearrowoncemoreasthefirstwolvenburstfromtheshadows,takinga
guarddownfromhishorse.Tomyleftandright,theoldestamongthosehere
liftedtheirbows.Isearchedforflashesofblack—ofmantlesthatsignifieda
knightinsteadofaguardandtookaimastheothersspilledoutfromthetrees
thatcrowdedtherightwallsoftheRise.
Catchingsightofaknightonhorseback,chargingaman
who’dshovedasworddeepintothechestofasoldier,Itookaim.Theknight’s
handwhippedout,andabarbedchainuncurled.Themetalandspikesspunwith
dizzyingspeedasIfocusedontheoneweakareanotarmored
Ireleasedthestring.Thearrowflewacrossthedistance,
strikingtheknightintheeye.Theimpactknockedtheknightfromthehorse,
hisbodydisintegratingasitfelltotheground.
Quentynskiddedintothespacebesideme,placingashield
againstthestonewalls.Hestretchedup,peeringoverthewall,jawhardashe
leveledhisbow.
“Where’sBeckett?”Iasked,nothavingseenhim.
“He’swiththeoneswhocan’tfight.”
Inodded.“Theoneswithblackmantlesareknights.Vamprys.
Aimfortheirheads.”
“Gotit.”Hiseyessquinted.
Notchinganotherarrow,IscannedforCasteel,spottinghimin
themiddleoftheRoyalArmyranks,sweepinghisswordthroughtheneckofone
andthestomachofanother.Mygazeskippedoverflamingswords,cuttingdown
thosewithfire.AknightracedtowardaGuardian.Ireleasedanarrow,andit
caughthiminthemouth.
“Archers!”aknightshouted.“Onthebattlements.”
Aimingataguardwhorushedtowardawolven,Ionlysawthe
arrowpiercetheleather,spinningthemortaltothegroundasecondbeforea
volleyofarrowsrippedthroughtheair.
“Incoming!”someoneyelled.
“Down!”Quentynshoutedasheliftedashieldthathadto
weighnearlyasmuchashedid.Wekneltasthearrowszingeddown,clanging
offstoneandthemetaloftheshield.Shoutsofpaintuggedatmysenses,
tellingmethatsomehadfoundtheirmarks.
Quentynloweredtheshield,andIpoppedbackupasIplaced
anarrowoverthebow.
“Doyouseehim?”Quentynasked,releasinganarrow.“The
Prince?”
IshookmyheadasIsurveyedthechaosbelow.Therewastoo
muchgoingon—thereweretoomany.IcouldbarelyevenseetheGuardians’
flamingswordsintheclashofregularswordsandbodies.“He’llbeokay,”I
toldQuentyn—toldmyself—asIpulledbackthestring,forgettingaboutthe
knights.Ifocusedonthesoldiers,goingthroughaquiverofammunitionbefore
severalofthembrokethroughthewolvenandGuardians.Adozenormorereached
thedoor.Theshoutsfrombelowcausedmygifttoswellinsideme.Iknewthey
weregoingtomakeitinside.
Anotherwaveofarrowswentup,andIcursedasweducked
undertheshieldagain.Severalclatteredoff,hittingthefloorbesideus.
Screamstorethroughtheair.Mygazeswunginthedirectionofthestairs.
Thereweren’tenoughouttheretoholdthemback.They’dkeepcoming,justlike
Cravenwould.They’dswarmusbeforethelargerarmyevenarrived.
AndIwasuphere,hidingbehindashield.
MygazemetQuentyn’s.“You’rereallygoodwithabow?”
Henodded.“Ithinkso.”
“Good.Coverme.”
“What?”Hisgoldeneyeswidened.
“Whenyouseemedownthere,coverme.”Idroppedthebow.
“Youcan’tgooutthere!Casteel—Imean,thePrincewill—”
“Expectlittleelsefromme,”Itoldhim.“Coverme.”
Withoutwaiting,Idartedtowardthestairs,unsheathingmy
daggerasIracedpastthegruesomegifts.Ispeddownthewindingstaircase,
mystepsslowingasIheardtheclangofstoneagainststone.
They’dmadeitinsidetheRise.
Iincheddowntherestofthesteps,keepingclosetothe
wall.
Abodystumbledacrossthemouthofthestairs,fallingto
theground.ARoyalGuardappeared.AllIsawwasayoungfacesplatteredwith
blood.Afacetooyoung.Blueeyes.Didheknowwhathefoughtfor?Hehadto.
HehadbeenouttherewhentheDuchessspoke.Itdidn’tmattereitherway.
Sworddrippingwithblood,hehaltedforafractionofa
second.ThatwasallIneeded.Isprangforward,shovingthedaggerunderhis
chin.Hisbreathgurgledashepinwheeledbackward,theswordclangingoffthe
ground.
Steppingoutofthestairwell,Iswitchedthedaggertomy
lefthandandpickedupthefallensword.Testingitsweight,Iscannedthe
torch-lityard,thebodiesstandingandtheonesfalling.AndthenIdidwhat
Vikterhadtaughtmethroughourhoursoftraining.
Icloseditdown.
Shutitalldown.
Thehorror.Whatmyeyeswantedmybrainandheartto
recognize.Thefear,especiallythefear—ofbeinginjured,ofstumbling,of
missingmymark,ofdying—oflosingthoseIcaredabout.Vikterhadoncetoldme
thatwhenyoufought,youhadtodosoasifeachbreathmaybeyourlast.
Istalkedforward,thecloakbillowingoutfrombehindme,
catchingintheblood-richwind.AndallIsawwhenasoldierturnedtomewere
thefacesoftheirgifts
Thesoldierraisedhissword,hisfaceamaskofviolence.
Thereweredifferentkindsofbloodlust.WhatvampryandAscendedfelt,andwhat
mortalsexperiencedwhenviolencespilledintotheair.Idippedunderhisarm,
spinningbackasIthrusttheswordintohisback.Yankingthebladefree,I
turned,shovingthedaggerdeepintothechestofanothersoldier.The
bloodstonepiercedleatherandbone.
Whirling,Islicedthroughtheneckofasoldierwhowentto
drivetheirsworddownononewho’dfallen.WetwarmthhitmycheeksasI
turned,shovingmyelbowintothethroatofanother.Bonescrunchedandair
wheezedbehindmeasthepainofthosearoundmescrapedevenharderatmy
senses.
Reachingup,Itorefreethebuttonsatmyneck.Thehood
slippeddown,andIshruggedoffthecloak.Itfelltothegroundbehindmeas
Ibrokeintoarun,racingoutoftheRiseandintothebattleweweresureto
lose.
Itwas…madness.
Swordscrashingagainstswords.Screamsofpainandshouts
offury.GlimpsesoffurandthickclawsandflamingswordsastheGuardians
cutthroughmortalandvampryalike.
Amanmoanedasheclutchedhisbloodiedstomach.Hewasa
Descenter,andIstartedtostop,toeithereasehispainorhealhim—
Anarrowwhizzedpastmyhead,strikingaguardrushing
towardme.Quentynwasverygoodwithabow.
Isteppedbackfromthefallenman,knowingthatnowwasnot
thetimeforthatparticularsetofskills.Asmuchasithurt,aswrongasit
felt,Iturnedaway.
Andthen…IfellintothemadnessasIthrustmyswordinto
thestomachofasoldierwhocouldn’thavebeenmucholderthanIwas.Iletmy
thirstforvengeanceseizemeasmybladeslicedthroughtheneckofanother.I
didn’thesitateorpullbackwhenIsawrecognitionflareintheeyesthe
momenttheysawthescarsonmyface.Ittookonlymomentsoutonthefieldto
knowthatthey’dbeengivenordersnottoharmme.Itwascleartheydidn’t
expectmetobedownhere,tobefighting,anditwasanadvantageforme,one
Iused.BecauseordersfromanAscendedhadn’tsentmeouthere.Ichosetobe
here.Ikickedout,catchingaknightatthekneesbeforehecouldliftthe
spikedballhewielded.Hefelltohisback,andIdrovethesworddown.
Bright,twinflamespassedmerefeetfrommyfaceasa
Guardiankickedoffthebackofafallingsoldier.Thedark-hairedGuardian
spuninmid-air,catchingtwointhechest.Thefierybladesslicedthrough
leatherandbone.Landinginacrouch,sherosewiththefluidgraceofa
goddess,hereyesbrieflymeetingmine.Shenoddedbeforedisappearingintothe
crushofsoldiers.
Asuddenyelpfromawolvenspunmearound.Afawn-colored
onethatremindedmeofKieranbutsmaller,limpedbackwardawayfromaknight,
bloodcoursingdownthehindleg.Vonetta?Iwasn’tsureasIshiftedthesword
tomylefthandandwithdrewthewolvendagger.Theknightliftedtheswordas
thewolvenbaredherteeth,crouchingonthewoundedleg.Flippingthedagger
soIhelditbytheblade,Icockedbackmyarmandthrewit.Thebloodstone
strucktheknightintheforehead,takinghimdownbeforeheevenknewwhat’d
hithimasIshovedtheswordintothegutofanothersoldierwhoreachedfor
me.Thewolvenwhippedtowardmeandsuddenlylaunchedintotheair.Mybreath
caughtasshecrashedintoasoldierbehindme.Theywentdown,herjawslocked
onhisneck.Sheshookherhead,flingingthesoldierlikehewasnothingmore
thanaragdoll.BonecrackedasIturned,scanningthemassofbodiesstanding
andontheground.Therewerewolvenamongthefallen.FacesIrecognized.I
retrievedmydaggerfromthedustygroundasawolventhecolorofsnowdarted
pastmeDelano.Iturned,catchingsightofCasteelbehindthecatapults.
Bloodstreakedhisfaceashespunouthisblades,catching
twosoldiersinthechest.Yankingtheswordsfree,hestretchedhisneck,and
myheartstuttered.Therewasawoundonhisneckandshoulder,raggedand
seepingblood.Surrounded,heroared,fangsbaredashecaughtasoldierbythe
throat,rippingintofleshasDelanotookaknightdownfromhishorse,hisclaws
tearingthroughthemetalarmorlikeitwasnothingmorethanloosesoil.
Anotherwolvenshotacrossthefield—animpossiblylarge,silverone.Jasper?
Hegrabbedtheknight’sarmasheswungtheswordtowardDelanoand…goodgods,
hetoreitstraightoff,swordandall.
Iwouldhavetovomitaboutthatlater.
Anotherknightleaptfromhishorse,landinglikeamountain
behindCasteel.HetossedasoldierasidetogettoCasteel,flingingthe
mortalintothesideofacatapult.Thecrunchofbonestoldmethatthe
soldierwouldn’tbegettingbackup.
Ipickedupmypace,jumpingoverabodyandclosingthe
distancejustastheknightwentforCasteel.Grabbingafistfulofthe
knight’shair,IyankedhisheadbackasIthrustthewolvendaggerintotheweak
spaceatthebaseofhisskull,anglingitupward.TheknightshudderedasI
letgo,hisbodybreakingapart.
Casteelspunthen,fangsbaredandmouthstreakedwithcrimson.
Theswordheswungatmehaltedamereinchfrommyneck.Hisbreathcameoutin
short,raggedbursts.
“You’rewelcome,”Ipanted.“Forsavingyourlife.”
Breathingraggedly,hejerkedtheswordback.Awide,bloody
smilebrokeoutacrosshisface.“Wouldthisbeaninappropriatetimetolet
youknowI’mincrediblyturnedonbyyourightnow?”
“Yes.”Mygazeshiftedtotheguardstaggeringtohisfeet
behindhim.“Highlyinappropriate.”
“Well,toobad.”Casteelpivoted,andtheguard’sheadwent
inadifferentdirectionofhisbody.“Ifindyouhighlyarousing.”
MylipscurvedupasIturned,seeingthecarriage.“Isshe
inthecarriage?TheDuchess?”
“Ibelieveso.”Helookedoverhisshoulderatme.“Youwant
tokillher?”
Inodded.
“You’regoingtohavetobeatmetoit.”
Jammingthedaggerintoasoldier’sthroat,Isaid,“Doable.”
Casteel’slaughwaswildashecaughtthearmofaknight,
spinninghimashedrewoneofhisswordsaround,cuttingthroughthesoldier’s
neck.Istartedforwardwhenfiresparkedtolifeinthewaitingdarknessof
thewesternroad.Idrewupshort,breathingheavilyasthesparkrepeated
itself,overandoverandover.Thesparksflewintotheair—
Arrows
Casteelcrashedintome,grabbingmearoundthewaistashe
shovedusunderthecatapult.Hisbodyflattenedovermine,pressingmeinto
thehard,blood-and-dirt-packedearth.
Thearrowsfell,strikingSolissoldiersandthosewho
foughtonAtlantia’ssidealike.IjerkedbackagainstCasteelatthesoundof
arrowspiercingflesh,atthesuddenintenseflaresoflightallaroundusas
thefiresweptoverbodies,ignitingthecatapultbesideus.Theworlddescended
intochaosanddeath.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter40
Chillsofdreadwerelikeicyfingersonthebackofmyneck
anddownthelineofmyspineasCasteelliftedhishead,andhischestrose
againstmybackwitheachheavybreath.Swallowinghard,Ifollowedhisgaze.
Thelargerdivisionhadarrived,andwe…wewereengulfed.
AnarmyofSolissoldiersranforward,overcomingthe
carriageastheydrewunmarredswords.Theyswarmedtheroadandfieldsoutside
theRise,andthentheRiseitself.
ThechillofdreadseepedintomyskinandbonesasIclosed
myeyes.Therehadn’tbeenenoughtimeforKieranandAlastir.
Casteelshiftedsohewasbesideme.Hisfingerstouchedmy
cheek,andIopenedmyeyes.Evenwiththebloodcoveringhim,hewasstillthe
mostbeautifulmanI’deverseen,andIsuddenlywishedwe’dacceptedourpasts
andopeneduptooneanothersoonerthanwehad.Therewould’vebeentimethen
toreallygettoknoweachother.Maybejustafewdaysorweeks,butIcould’ve
discoveredifI’dreadhisfavoritebookandhecould’velearnedthatstrawberries
werejustasmuchaweaknessformeascheesewas.Hecould’vetoldmeabout
theconversationsthatdrovehimandMaliktothecaverns,andIcould’ve
sharedthedreamsI’dhadwhenIwasachild,beforeIwasveiledasthe
Maiden.Wecould’veexploredeachother,andhecould’veprovenjusthow
sensitiveallthoseotherareashe’dmentionedwere.
Becausenow,therewasagoodchancewewereoutoftime
beforeweevenhadit.
Hesmiledatme,buttherewerenodimples.Theexpression
didn’treachhiseyes,andIfelttearsstingingmine.“It’llbeokay.”
“Iknow,”Isaid,eventhoughIknewitwouldn’tbe.
“I’mgettingyououtofhere.”
Aknotformedinmythroat.“Icanstopthis.Theywon’t
harmme.Icango—”
“Theycannothaveyou,Poppy.Iknowwhattheywilldoto
you.”Hisbloodyfingerssplayedacrossmycheek.“IcannotbreathewhenI
thinkaboutthat.I’mgettingyououtofhere.”
Aknotformedinmythroat.“Whatabouttheothers?Naill?Delano?
Von—”
“Theywilltakecareofthemselves,”heswore.“Ineedto
getyououtofhere.Thatisallthatmattersrightnow.”
Butitwasn’t.
Spessa’sEndmattered.Thepeoplemattered.“Whataboutthe
people?Theoneswhocan’tfight.”
“They’llbewarned.Wehadplansinplaceincasethis
happened.They’llbewarned,andthey’llhavetimetogetout.They’reina
betterpositiontodosothanus.We’llhavetofightourwayout.”Hiseyes
heldmine.“Youunderstandthat?”
Inoddedastheknotexpanded.“I’msorry—aboutSpessa’s
End.”Myvoicecracked.“AboutElijah.Aboutallofthem—”
“Youarewhatmattersnow.”Casteelkissedme,anditwashard
andfierce.Aclashofteethandfangsthattastedofbloodanddesperation.“You
do.Wedo.Ussurvivingthis.Thatiswhatmatters.”
Dragginginadeepbreath,Iclearedmymindofthepanic
andsorrow,andnodded.
“Youready,Poppy?”
“Yes.”
Hesmiledagain,butthistime,hisdimplesappeared.“Let’s
kicksomeass.”
“Let’s,”Iwhispered.
Casteelrolledoutfromunderthecatapultandshottohis
feet,thrustinghisswordintothefirstsoldier.Ifollowed,climbingtomy
feet.I’dbeenwrongearlier.Ihadn’ttrulyknownmadnessuntilthen—until
theycamefromallsides,reachingformewhentheyrealizedwhoIwas,
stabbingandlurchingatCasteel.
Sweatandbloodslickedmyskin,mygriponmyswordand
daggerperilous.Ismelledandtastedandsawdeath.Eachhandfuloffeetwegained,
weweresurroundedagain.Thegroundbecameoilywithoffal.Mybootssliding
asIscreamed,drivingthedaggerintoachest.Mymusclesshriekedwith
protestasIswungthesword,slicingintonecksandstomachsandarms—at
anyonethatgottooclose.
Ablowcaughtmycheek,causingmetostumbleintoCasteel.
Catchingmyself,Ikickedout,droppingthemantohisknees.Ididn’tthink
twiceasIdrovetheswordthroughhisskull,andIcouldn’tkeepmysenses
lockeddownanymore.Theyopened,seizingmybreathasmysensesstretchedout,
formingconnectionswiththosearoundus,and…oh,gods,therewassomuchfear.
Thebitternessmixedwiththetasteoftheblood,chokingmeasIswung,myarm
knockingintoCasteel’sasIstabbedataman—
Amanwhowasafraid
Theywereafraidtodie,afraidnottofight,andjust…afraid.
IshudderedasIturned,seeingfacesyoungandold,whiteandbrownandblack.
Theiremotionspouredintome.Icouldn’tshutitoff.Couldn’ttakethetime
toconcentrateasImovedinfrontofablowmeantforCasteel.Ablowthatwas
pulledbackonlyatthelastsecond,andthenIkilledhim.Ikilledtheman
whoprojectedterrorintotheair
Andsomething…somethingwashappeninginsideme.Itwas
wakingup,stretchingandexpanding,fillingmyveinsandcausingmyskinto
humasIleaptforward,slammingthewolvendaggerdeepintoachest,swallowing
thesoldier’sfearanddrowninginhisagony—intheirfearandagony.
Ahandgrabbedmybraid,yankingmeback.Myfeetwentout
fromunderme,andCasteelspun.Morehotbloodsprayedtheair,ourfaces.Our
gazesconnectedashehelpedmestand,andthenwespunbackaround,hearts
poundingaswetrippedoverbodies,assoldierspressedin,asorderswere
shouted—takeher,killhim,seizethemboth.Assomethingexplodedfrom
deepwithinme,inhalingallthefearandagonyandprimalemotions,andallof
itroseinsideme.Theswirling,churningmassofemotionsclawedatmy
insides,mythroat,andIneededtoshutitdown.Ihadtoshutitalloff—
IdroppedtheswordasIbroughtthedaggertomyown
throat.“Stop!”Ishouted.“Stop,orIwillslitmythroat.”
Casteelwhirledtowardme.“Poppy—”
“I’lldoit,”Iwarnedasoneofthesoldierssteppedupto
Casteel.“I’llcutmythroatwide-openifanyofyoutakeanotherstepforward.
Idoubtanyofyouwillliveifthathappens.He’lltakeyoudown.”
“I’mabouttotakeyoudown,”Casteelgrowled.
Iignoredhim.“Andifhedoesn’t,whatdoyouthinkthe
Duchesswilldo?TheQueen?They’lldowhatyoudidtoyourmen.You’lldie.Every
lastoneofyou.That,Icanpromise.”
Facespaledandglanceswereexchanged.Severalstepped
back—
Theskywasrippedapartbydeepwails,bysnappinggrowls
andpiercinghowlsthatcamefromthewoodsandeverywhereatonceitseemed.
Itwasacrescendo,acallthatkeptrisingandrising,andwasansweredby
yipsandbarksthatseemedtocomefromthetrees,fromthebushsurrounding
theleftsideoftheRise,andfromthewesternroad.
Thesoldiersbeforeusstartedtoturn—
Wolvenracedoutfromtheforest,streakingovertheground
andlaunchingintotheair.Theywereaseaoffurandclaws,takingdown
soldiers,tearingthrougharmorandflesh.IsawJasperandDelanoamongthem,
Vonettatoo,buttherewere…therehadtobedozensanddozensofthem,and
theirtiming…
Theirtiminghadbeenimpeccable.
Alargebrownwolvenlifteditshead,earsperked.Another
andanotherdidthesame,luminouspaleeyeslockingontomine.
Slowly,Iloweredtheknifefrommythroat.
Allofasudden,itsoundedliketheRisewascomingdown
aroundus.Likeathousandboulderstumblingandfallingtothegroundfromthe
sky,buttheRisestillstood,andnothing,noteventhestarshadfallen.I
swungtowardCasteel.
Hesmirked,eyeslitfromwithinashetookastepback,
exhalingdeeply.
Whatremindedmeofthundergrewlouder,andasIturned,I
realizedthatwhatI’dheardwasthepoundingofhooves.
Palehorsespouredoutfrombetweenthetreesandfilledthe
westernroad,mudandbloodstreakingtheirlegsastheykickedupdirtand
grass.Moonlightglintedoffgoldenarmorandraisedswords.Thoseblades—those
horses—mowedthroughthelinesandrowsofsoldiersaswhitebannersstreamed
andrippledbehindthepalemounts,bannersbearingthegoldenswordandarrow
lyingacrossthesun.ThecrestofAtlantia.
Atlantiahadcome,andtherewerehundredsofthem.
Tiredmusclesinmyarmsloosenedastheychargedpastus,
stirringtheblood-soakedairandliftingthetendrilsofhairthathadescaped
mybraid.Theysetfiretotheremainingcatapults,tothewagonsasthey
swarmedtheSolisarmy,andIknewnonewouldbeleftalive.
Asthewolvenfollowedthearmy,awarm,dampnosebumpedmy
lefthand,andIlookeddownintothepaleblueeyesofalarge,fawn-colored
wolven.
Kierannudgedmyhandagain,andIopenedit,revealingthe
goldenmarkandtheringonmyfinger.
“Yeah,”Isaidhoarsely.“Youmissedit.”
HisearsperkedashelookedovertowhereCasteelstood.
“Youmissedalot,”thePrincesaid.
KierantrottedovertohimasIturnedandsawthecrimson
carriageuntouched.
Wasshestillinthere?Orhadsherun?
IwaswalkingbeforeIknew,runningtowardthecarriage,
barelyawareofCasteelshoutingmyname.Itoreopenthecarriagedoor,and
theDuchesshissedfromthedimlylitinterior.Shelurchedforward,catching
herselfonthedoorwhenshesawme.
Hereyeswidenedwithsurprise.“Penellaphe—”
Ipunchedherintheface.
TheDuchessstumbledbackward,fallingbetweentheseatsas
shecuppedhernose.Bloodpouredoutbetweenherfingers.“Thathurt,”she
seethed,glaringupatmeasIclimbedintothecarriage.
“Thingsaregoingtohurtwayworsethanthat,”Ipromised.
Sheloweredherhands.“Whendidyoubecomesoviolent,
Maiden?”
“Iwasalwaysviolent.”Icaughtherarmasshereachedfor
something.Myfingerscurledaroundhercoolskin.“AndIwasneverthe
Maiden.”
“Butyouwere.Youalwayswere.”
“Whereismybrother?”Idemanded.
“Comewithme,andI’llshowyou.”
Ishookmyhead.“WhereisCasteel’sbrother?”
“Withyours,”shesaid,andIdidn’tbelieveher.
“Ishealive?”
“Whichone?”
“PrinceMalik.”
“HowelsewouldwehavebeenabletoAscendTawnyifhe
wasn’t?”
Iletgoofherwristasmystomachsunk.“Youlie.”
“Whylieaboutthat?”
“BecausetheAscendeddonothingbutlie!”
“YouknowthatTawnycouldn’twaittoAscend.”Sheroseto
herknees.“ShewasecstaticwhenItoldhertheQueenhadpetitionedthegods
foranexception,thatshewouldAscend.Isenthertothecapital.TheQueen
diditforyou.ItoldherhowcloseyouandTawnyare.”
“Shutup.”
“Shewantsyoutobecomfortablewhenyoureturnhome,her
bloodedgranddaughter—”Hereyeswidenedasshecaughtsightofmyhand.“What
isthat?”TheDuchessscrambledforward,claspingmyleftwrist.“Theimprint.”
Shestaredatthegoldenswirlacrossmypalm.“You’remarried.”
Ipulledmyhandfreeassherockedbackward,laughing.
“You’remarried?TothePrinceofAtlantia?”Pitch-black
eyesliftedtomineasawidesmilebrokeoutacrossherface,revealingthe
fangsofbothherupperandlowerjaw.“IfI’dknown,noneofthiswould’ve
beennecessary.You.Bornoffleshandfire.TheQueenwillbesothrilledtolearn
you’vedonewhatshecouldneveraccomplish.SeizedAtlantiarightoutfromunder
them,underher.OurQueenwillbesoproudof—”
“Shutup,”Isnarled,thrustingthebloodstonebladedeep
intoherchest.
DuchessTeerman’seyeswidenedonlyafractioninsurprise.
Imetherstare,holdingthedaggerthereuntilthecracksformedinherskin,
untilthelightwentoutofhereyesandherbodycavedinaroundthebladeof
thewolvenboneandbloodstonedagger.
AndjustlikeanAscended,Ifeltnothingbutasudden
icinessasIwatchedDuchessTeermanturntoash.
Iturned.
Casteelstoodoutsidethedoor,thelinesandanglesofhis
featuressharpinthemoonlight.“Youbeatmetoher.”
“Idid.”
Alongmomentpassed.
“Didshesayanythingtoyou?”
“No.”Iswallowedthickly.“Shesaidnothing.”
“Areyouokay?”
Inodded.“Areyou?”
Hesaidnothingasthesoundsofbattlegrewfainter,andI
tentativelyopenedmysenses.Hisemotionsranthegambit,aswirlingstorm
thatwashardforevenmetomakesenseof.
“Noonecomesnearthiscarriage,”hesaid,speakingtowhoever
wasbeyondtheopening.Hehoistedhimselfupintotheconveyance.Theceiling
wasjusthighenoughforhimtostand.“I’mveryconflictedrightnow.”
“Youare?”
Henoddedasthedoorswungclosedbehindhim.“I’mfurious
withyouforthreateningyourownlife.Foreventhinkingthatwasasuitable
option.”
“WhatelsecouldIdo?”Idemanded,loweringthedagger.
“Theywere—”
“I’mnotdoneyet,Princess.”
Mybrowsflewup.“DoIlooklikeIcareifyou’redone?”
Ashadowofasmileappearedinthedimglow.“I’mlivid
thatyouwoulddosomethinglikethat.”
“Well,I’mannoyedthatyoudon’tseemtorealize
that,atthatmoment,wewereoutofoptions,”Isnapped.
“Stillnotdone,”hesaid.
“Guesswhat?Idon’tcare.”
Hiseyesdeepenedtoaheatedhoney.“I’mfurious,andyet,
atthesametime,I’minawe.BecauseIknowyouwould’vedoneit.Youwould’ve
killedyourselftosavethelivesofthosewhostillstood.Youwould’vedone
ittosaveme.”
Backingupashecameforward,Isteppedonthecloakand
whateverelsetheDuchesshadbeenwearing.“Youdon’tsoundlikeyou’rein
awe.”
“That’sbecauseIdon’twanttobeawedbysomethingso
incrediblyreckless.”Hischindipped,andhisvoicedeepened.“Andthat’s
becauseIneedyou.”
Asuddenhotflushchasedawaythecoldnessstirringinside
me.
“Ineedtofeelyourlipsonmine.”Heplantedhishandson
thecarriagewall,cagingmein.“Ineedtofeelyourbreathinmylungs.I
needtofeelyourlifeinsideme.Ijustneedyou.It’sanache.This
need.CanIhaveyou?Allofyou?”
Ididn’tknowwhomovedfirst.Ifitwashimormeorboth
ofus.Itdidn’tmatter.Wecametogether,thekissjustaswildastheoneunder
thecatapult,anditsaideverythingthatwordscouldn’tcommunicateatthe
moment.Wekissedasifwehadn’texpectedtohavetheluxurytodoitagain.
Andforfartoomanyminutes,Iknewwebothbelievedthat.
We’dbeenonthecuspofeitherbeingseparatedorkilled,
andthatkiss…andwhatcamenextinthatshadowycarriagewasproofofhow
rattledwebothwerebytheknowledgethatwecould’velosteachotherjustas
we’dtrulyfoundoneanother.
Anditwasmorethanthatwhichallowedmenottocarewhere
wewere,whatI’ddoneinhereandwhatwashappeningoutsidethesethinwalls,
whenheslippedthedaggerfrommyhand,sheathingitonmythigh.Orwhenhe
turnedandliftedme,placingmeonmykneesonthecushionedbenchashe
tuggedtheleggingsandundergarmentstomyknees.Whatallowedmenottocare
waswhattheDuchesshadsaidbeforeIkilledher,theuttercoldnessand
emptinessI’dfeltasIwatchedherdie,andthehauntingintuitionthatthere
hadbeensometruthtoherwords.
Casteelplacedmyhandsonthewallashescrapedthesharp
edgeofafangalongthesideofmythroat,sendingaboltofwantonheatand
dampnessthroughme.
“Thisissoinappropriate,”Ipanted.
“Idon’tgiveafuck.”Henippedatmyskinagain,andmyentire
bodyarched.“Braceyourself.”
Idid,butnothingcould’vepreparedmeforwhathappened.
Hestruckasfastasaviper,sinkinghisfangsdeepintomythroatatthesame
momenthethrustintome.Thetwistingshockofpainandpleasurestolemybreath
andfixedmywideeyesontheceiling—onthecirclewithanarrowpiercingthe
centerembossedinblackandcrimson.Infinity.Power.
TheAscendedRoyalCrest.
Andthen…thenIbecamethatfireagain,theflame.
Therewasnothingbutanexcessofpleasureandecstasy,
intensifiedbythedeep,rumblingsoundshemade,thehandthatslippedbetween
mythighs,andthosewickedlyskilledfingers.
Anewmadnessengulfedus,onenottoodifferentfromwhat
I’dfeltwhenIsteppedoutintothecourtyard.Andmaybeallthedeathwesaw
andinflictedalsodroveustothismoment,tothehungrywayhismouthmoved
atmyneckandthenearlygreedywaymyhipspushedbackagainsthis.Thefeel
ofeachotherwasareminderthatwewerealive.Thatwe’dsurvived.Thatthere
wouldbetimeforallthosethingsI’dthoughtofaswewerepinnedtotheground
underthecatapult.Thatevenasuncertainasourfuturewas,therewas
one.Andwhenthestorminsideofuscrestedandtookusbothovertheedge,I
knewitwasalsotheintensityofwhatwefeltforoneanother,whatwehad
bothbeenfighting,thatdroveus.
ThatdroveCasteeltoabandonhispeopletosaveme.
Thatdrovemetoholdadaggertomyownthroat,readyto
slicedeeptosavehim.
Theintensityoftheemotion,howall-consumingitsuddenly
felt,didn’tmakesense.Myheadfellbackagainsthischest,andhekissedthe
cornerofmymouth,thelongerscar,andthentheshorterone,Ididn’tcare.
“Youalreadyhaveme,”Iwhispered.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter41
ThefieldI’dseentheGuardianstraininginwaslitteredwith
cotsoccupiedbytheinjuredandthedead.Mostweremortal.TwentyDescenters
orthoseofAtlantiandescentthathadsettledinSpessa’sEndhadperished.At
leastfiftyofAtlantiandescentwho’darrivedwiththearmyhaddied,and
doublethatoccupiedthecots.Adozenorsowolvenwereinjuredbeyondtheir
capabilitiestohealthemselves.TheelementalAtlantiansthathadmadeupthe
vastmajorityofthearmyhadhealedthemselves.NoneoftheGuardianshad
fallen,andonlyafewwereamongtheinjured.
TheAtlantianarmyhadbeensuccessful,though,evenwith
thecasualties.They’dseizedcontrolbythetimeCasteelandIsteppedoutof
thecarriagetofindKieranandseveralAtlantianwarriorsstandingguard.
Icouldn’tevenmusteranounceofembarrassmentatthe
knowledgethatsomerealizedwhathadhappenedinsidethecarriage.
Onlyonesoldierin
theentiretyoftheSolisarmyhadbeenleftalive.Casteelandafewothers
hadlefthoursago,escortingayoungboybarelybeyondthecuspofmanhoodto
thescorchedlandofPompay,chargedwiththetaskofrelayingawarning.
Andamessage.
AtlantiahadreclaimedSpessa’sEnd,andanywhocamefor
thetownwouldmeetthesamefateasthosebeforethem.Themessagewasalsoan
opportunity.Casteelhadinitiatedapartofhisoriginalplan.TheBattleof
Spessa’sEnddidn’thavetobethefirstofmanytocome.ThePrinceandPrincess
ofAtlantiawerewillingtomeetwiththeKingandQueenofSolistodiscuss
thekingdoms’futures.
Ididn’tenvytheboywhowastaskedwithdeliveringthe
message.
AndIdidn’tenvyanyofthefamilyandfriendsofthosewho
hadlostlovedones.EachtimeIsawsomeoneIknewstanding,I’dbeenovercome
withrelief.
“Thankyou,”araspyvoicedrewmyattention.Anolder
wolvenhadtakenanastyblowtothearm,nearlyseveringit.Hewasthelast
onetobechecked.I’dhealedhim.LikeI’dhealedallofthosewho’dallowed
metotry.
Somehadrefusedmytouch,likethoseinNewHavenhad.My
chestsqueezedpainfullyasElijah’simagetookforminmymind.
Iclearedmythroat.“You’rewelcome.”Backandarmsaching,
Istartedtorise.“Idon’tknowifyourarmiscompletelyhealed,soyou
shouldhaveaHealerlookatitassoonaspossible.”
ThewolvencaughtmyleftarmbeforeIcouldmove.Hiseyes
widenedslightlyatthecontact,andIwonderedifhe’dfeltthestrange,
electric-likecurrentthatothershadwhenhetouchedme.Heslowlyturnedmy
handover.“It’strue,then?”heasked,lookingatthegoldenswirlacrossmy
palm.“You’vemarriedourPrince?”
Inoddedasmyheartskipped.Thismiddle-agedwolven,with
hisheadofropeyblack-and-silverdreadshadbeenthefirsttoask.
“Othersaresayingyoufoughtbesidehimtheentirebattle.”
“IstartedontheRise,butIdidgodown.”
“Andyet,you’rehere.You’vebeenherethiswholetime,
healingothers,”hesaid,hispaleeyessharp.“Withyourtouch.”
“HowcouldInotwhenIcanhelp?”AndIhadhelped.Talia
theHealerI’dcaughtabriefglimpseof,hadherhandsfullwiththosewho
refusedmyaid.So,afterthebattle,Ihadtakenthetimetowashtheblood
frommyfaceandhands,eventhoughitwasstillcakedtomyclothinganddried
undermyfingernails.
Henoddedasheletgoofmywristandlaidhisheadbackon
thecot.“Kieransaidyouwereoftheempathbloodline.”
Inoddedagain.
“I’veneverseenanempathglowsilverbefore,”hesaid.
“AndIrememberthem.Iwasayoungboythen,andtherewasonlyahandful
stillalive,butI’dremembersomethinglikethat.”
Wonderinghowoldthiswolvenwas,Isaid,“Jaspersaidthe
same.”
“Notsurprisedtohearthat.Heknowsthings,”thewolven
said.“Exceptwhentokeephismouthclosed.
Ismiledwearily.“That’swhatIhear.”
“Youmustbedescendedfromanoldempathline.”
“WhatelsecouldIbe?”Iasked,notreallyexpectingan
answer.
“Yes,”hemurmured.“Whatelse?”
Ilookedovermyshoulder,spottingQuentynandBeckettmoving
amongtheinjuredandrecovering.“Waterandfoodarebeingbrought.Isthere
anythingelseyouneed?”
“No.”ThewolveneyedmeasIstood.“Butyoushouldbe
careful,Princess.”
Istilled.
“I’vewatchedtheotherswatchingyou.OurPrincemayhavechosen
you.Youmayhavefoughtbesidehimandforthem.Youmayhavehealedmanyof
us,”hesaidwithavoicefullofgravel.“Buttheydidn’tchooseyou,andmany
aren’toldenoughtoevenremembertheempathbloodlines.Thosewhoare,
rememberwhattheycoulddo—whattheywerecalled.”
“SoulEaters?Ican’tdothat,”Isaid,evenasmyheart
startedpumping.“Ican’tdrainapersonofemotion.”
“Buttheydon’tknowthat.”Hisgazeshiftedtothecots.
“Istheresomeonehere?Towatchoveryou?”Hestartedtositup.“You
shouldn’tbeoutherealonewiththePrince—”
“I’mfine.”Gently,Ipressedhimontohisback.“I’marmed
andcantakecareofmyself.”
“Idon’tdoubtthat,but—”Hisfeaturestightened,almostas
ifhewereinpain,butIknewhewasn’t.“Ishouldn’tsaythis.It’sdamnnear
treasonous,butyouhealedme.Ioweyou.”
“Youdon’toweme.”
“Itwould’vetakendays,maybeevenlongerformetohealthat
wound,andthatisifIkeptmyarm.I’mawolven,Princess.Thatdoesnotmean
Icangrowbacklimbs.”
Iglancedatthepalepinkmarkthatnearlyencircledthe
entiretyofhisbiceps.Thegodshadtohavefavoredhimtokeepthatlimb
attachedafterthatkindofinjury.
“It’sprettywellknownamongthearmiesthatoncetheKing
knewofthePrince’splanstocaptureyou,hebegantomakehisownplans.I
doubtheknowshowmuchthePrince’splanshavechanged,buthishavenot.”
Aheavinesssatonmyshoulders.“Heplanstousemetosend
amessage.IdoubtIwouldbeamessagethatwasaliveandbreathing,”Isaid.
“Iknow.”
“ThenyoushouldalsoknowthatCasteelisourPrince,”the
wolvensaidinalowvoice.“ButValyn,hisfather,isourKing.”
“Iknow,”Irepeated,fixingasmileonmyface.
“Doyou?”
TheheavinessintensifiedasInoddedagain.“Youshould
rest.AtleastuntilTaliacanconfirmyou’rehealed.”
Theolderwolvenrelented,unhappily,butwithonelast
goodbye,Iroamedtheedgesofthemakeshiftinfirmary,scanningthefieldand
thebannersembossedwiththeAtlantianCrest.
Icouldfeeleyesonme.
I’dfeltthemtheentiretimeImovedthroughthefield.
Butwithallthepainthathadbeenechoingaroundme,I
hadn’tallowedmyselftosenseanythingbeyondtheagony.
Buttheydidn’tchooseyou.
Iflinchedasthewolven’swordsplayedoverandoverinmy
headasIturnedawayfromthefield.
WhatthewolvenhadsaidabouttheKingandtheveiled
warninghintingatwheretheAtlantianpeople’sloyaltylaydidn’tcomeasmuch
ofashock.
Inthebackofmymind,I’dalreadyfiguredasmuch,hadn’t
I?AndthatwasbeforetheyheardDuchessTeerman’sridiculousclaimsthatI
wasQueenIleana’sgranddaughter.TheQueenwasanAscended.Iwasnotofher
bloodnorbornoffleshandfire—whateverthatmeant.
ButIwasn’tlikeotherempaths,andevenso,thatbloodline
soundedmorefearedthanrespected.IknewIwouldn’thavemanysupportersin
Atlantia.Ibarelyhadthemhere.
CasteelwasthePrinceofAtlantia,well-lovedandrespected.
Thatmuchwasobvious.Butnotasinglepersonspokeillofhisfatheror
mother,andIknewtheywerejustaslovedashewas.CasteelwasthePrince,
buthisfatherwastheKing,andifhewantedmedeadtosendamessage,his
peoplewouldfollowhislead.Ididn’tknowifaringormarriageimprintwould
changethatwhenmefightingandkillingtoprotectthepeopleofAtlantiahadn’t.
AndCasteel…hehadtoknowthat.Healwayshadtoknowthat.
Sittinginthetubofwarmsoapywater,Ihadmyarmslocked
aroundmylegs,mykneespressedtomychestandmyeyesclosed.Irecalledthe
warmsandundermyfeet,andtheweightofmymother’sandfather’shandsin
mine.IrememberedhoweasyIan’ssmilewasasheranahead,andthesoundof
mymother’slaughandthewaymyfatherstaredatherlike…
Likeitwasthemostbeautifulsoundhe’deverheard.
Thecornersofmylipscurvedup.Thinkingofthosemoments
hadeasedthecoldnessthatreturnedwhenIwalkedbacktothefortress.What
theDuchesshadsaidandthoughtsofTawnyhauntedme,justlikeIknewthey
would.AlongwithworriesabouttheKing’splansandtheloyaltyofthe
Atlantianpeople.
Iopenedmyeyesatthesoftclickofthebathingchamber
door.Thescentofrich,earthyspice,andcrisppineenvelopedthesoap’s
lemonyscentasCasteelkneltbesideme.Thestrandsofhishairweredamp,and
theclothingheworewascleanandfreeofblood.Whenandwherehe’dcleaned
up,Ihadnoidea.Ihadn’tseenhimsinceheleftwiththeyoungSolis
soldier.
“Hey,”hesaidquietly,hisgazeroamingovermyface,lingering
onabruiseI’dgainedinthebattle.
“Hi,”Iwhispered.
Onesideofhislipscurledup,andIfeltmycheekswarm.I
clearedmythroat.“Iseverythingokay?Withthesoldier?”
Henodded.“He’sonhiswaytoWhitebridge.”Reachingover,
hegatheredupseveralstrandsofmywethairanddrapeditovermyshoulder.
Hebaredthebitemarkonmythroat,andIsworehisgrindeepened.“IhearI
oweyouathankyou.”
Iheldmylegstighter.“Forwhat?”
“Youspenttheentiredayhealingthoseyoucouldandeasing
thepainofthoseyoucouldn’t.”Thosetwinamberjewelsmetmine.“Thankyou.”
Iswallowed.“IonlydidwhatIcould—whatanyonewithmy
abilitieswoulddo.”Atleast,that’swhatIhoped.“Someofthemwouldn’tletme.”
Hisfingerstrailedoverthedampskinofmyback.“Someof
themareidiots.”
“Theyareyourpeople.”
“Ourpeople,”hecorrectedsoftly.
Mybreathcaught,andabitofpanicanduneasesparkedat
therealizationthattheyweremypeoplewhethertheylikeditornot.“I’m…I’m
sorryaboutElijahandallofthem.Ilikedhim,andMagdawasnice.But
they…theywereyourfriends.”
Hislashesloweredasheexhaledraggedly.“I’veknown
Elijahsincehewasaboy,andIknowhowcrazythatsoundssinceIlook
youngerthanhim.Heknewtherisks,andIknowhefoughtback.Iknowallofthem
did,buthedidn’tdeservethat.Noneofthemdid.”
“No,theydidn’t,”Iagreedsoftly.
“Ishould’vemadethemallleave.Riskeddrawingthe
attention.Ishould’ve—”
“Youdidwhatyoucould.Someofthosepeoplecouldn’t
travelbecauseoftheirinjuries,andnoneofthemwerereadytoleave
immediately,”Iargued.“Whathappenedthereisn’tyourfault.”
Casteelsaidnothing.
“Youknowthat,right?ThatwastheAscended.Theyare
responsible.Notyou.”
Henoddedslowly.“Iknowthat.”
“Doyou?”
Swallowing,henodded,andIwasn’tsureifthatwasthe
case.“Iwastoldsomethingoddearlier,whenIreturnedtoSpessa’sEnd.”
“I’mhalfafraidtoask.”
Therewasabriefgrin.“Yourememberwhenthewolvenshowed
upduringthebattle?”
“HowcouldIforgetthat?”
“Gladyouhaven’tbecausethatwaswhenyouhadaknifeto
yourthroat—”
“Iwastryingtosaveyouandthepeople,”Iremindedhim.
“We’vealreadycoveredthis.”
“Wedid,butKierantoldmethatheheardyoucallinghim.
Hesaidtheotherwolvenfeltit,too.Thattheyallveeredinourdirection.
Jasperconfirmedit,”hesaid.“Hesaidthesamething.”
“Ididn’t.Imean,how?”Iswallowed.“Iwasobviously
feelingalotinthatmoment.Ifeltlike,Idon’tknow,likeIwasaboutto
losecontrol.Buthowisthatevenpossible?
“Idon’tknow,Poppy.I’veneverseenanythinglikethat.I
don’tknowhowtheycould’vepickedupanythingfromyou.”Hetuggedona
strandofmywethairanddrapeditovermybareshoulder.“Neitherdothey.I
askedthemwhentheycamebyjustnow.Bothsaidtheyfeltyoucallingforthem—calling
forhelp.”
Goosebumpsbrokeoutovermyskin.“Delano.Oh,mygods….”
“What?”
“WhenwewereinNewHavenandIwaskeptintheroom,he
burstinsideatonepoint,swearingheheardmecallingforhim.ButIhadn’t.”
Casteel’sbrowsslashedoverhiseyes.“Didsomethinghappen
atthattime?BecauseifsoandIwasn’ttoldaboutit—”
“Nothinghappened.Iwasmad—madatyou,becauseIwas
lockedintheroom,”Iexplained.“Hethensaiditmust’vebeenthewind,and
itwaswindythen,soIforgotaboutit.”
Casteelliftedanotherstrandofhair.“That’sbizarre.”
Istaredathim.“That’sallyouhavetosaytothemfeeling
mycall?That’sbizarre?”
“Well,thedefinitionofbizarreissomethingstrangeand
unusual—”
“Iknowwhatbizarremeans,”Iinterrupted.“Isthatanother
empathtraitmanifesting?”
Hisgazemetmine.“I’veneverheardofanempathbeingable
todothat.”
Mystomachdipped.“Justlikeglowingsilverandbeingable
toheal—”
“Youcouldbeoftwobloodlines,”hecutin.“Wetalkedabout
thatbefore.Itcouldbepossible.”
MorepossiblethanQueenIleanabeingmygrandmother.Ihad
noideawhattothinkofthewholehearingmycallthing,butwhatifthatwas
anempathability?Peoplecouldprojecttheirpainandfear.Whatifthatwas
whatIwasdoing,andthewolven,forsomereason,pickeduponit?Thatseemed
likeitmadelogicalsense.
“Whatdowedonow?”Iasked.
“Rightnow?Atthisverymoment?”Hissmilewassmokeashis
gazetraveledoverthebareskinhecouldsee,whichwasn’tanyoftheinteresting
parts.“Ihavesomanyideas.”
“That’snotwhatIwastalkingabout,”Isaid,eventhoughI
wasgladtoseethesombernessleavehiseyes.
“Iknow,butI’mdistracted.It’snotmyfault.You’re
naked.”
“Youcan’tseeanything.”
“WhatIcanseeisenough.”Heloweredhimselftohisknees
asherestedhisarmsontheedgeofthetub.“So,I’mthoroughlydistracted.”
“Youbeingdistractedsoundslikeyourproblemandnotmine,”
Itoldhim.
Hechuckledashebenthishead,kissingthepatchofmy
kneethatwasn’tcoveredbymyarms.“We’llleaveforAtlantiatomorrow.The
AtlantianarmiesthatarrivedwillremainbehindjustincasetheAscendedwant
tomakeaverybadlifechoice.Spessa’sEndwillbeprotected.”
Therewasawhooshingsensationinmychest.“Sosoon?”
“Wewould’vealreadybeenthereifthingshadgoneas
planned.”Heleanedback.“Wearemarried,butyouhaven’tbeencrownedyet.
Thatneedstohappen.”
Iworriedmylowerlip.“Igetthatthecrowningmakes
thingsofficial,butwhatwillthatreallychange?Your…”Ibrieflyclosedmy
eyes.“Ourpeoplestilldon’ttrustmeorlikeme.Whatever.Andyourfather
stillhashisplans,right?Forme?”
Hisbrowslowered.“Myfather’splanshavechanged.”
“Whatiftheyhaven’t?”
Hestudiedmeforamoment.“Didsomeonesaysomethingto
you?”
Notwantingtopotentiallygettheolderwolvenintrouble,
Igaveaslightshakeofmyhead.“It’sjust…Iknowmanydon’tacceptme,even
afterthemarriageandlastnight.You’rethePrinceandall.Buthe’sthe
King—”
“Andyou’restartingtosoundlikeAlastir,”heinterrupted.
“I’dalmostthinkhegotyouallworkedupagain,buthestayedinAtlantia.”
“It’snotAlastir,”Isaid.“Buthedidsaythat,andhehas
apoint.Iknowyouwantedtomarrymepartlybecauseitofferedmealevelof
protection—”
“Originally,Poppy.AndthatwasonlybecauseI’dconvinced
myselfthatwasthereason,”hestated.“Itwasn’ttheonlyreason.Neitherwas
freeingmybrotherorpreventingawar.Iwantedyou,andIwantedtofinda
waytotrytokeepyou.”
Therewasadifferentkindofsnaginmychestnowinresponse
tohiswords.“Youhaveme,”IwhisperedthewordsI’dsaidtohiminthecarriage.
“Iknow.”Hisgazeheldmine.“Andnoone,notevenmy
fatherormymother,willchangethat.”
Ibelievedhim.
Ireallydid.
“Noonewillharmyou,”hevowed.“Iwillnotallowit.”
“NeitherwillI.”
Hesmiledthen,bothdimplesappearing.“Iknow.Come.”Rising,
hereachedforthetowel.“Ifyoustayinthereanylonger,youwillstartto
growfins.”
“Likeaceeren?”
Agrinappeared.“Likeaceeren.”
Ididn’tmovethough.“Iliedtoyou.”
Casteelarchedabrow.“About?”
“YouaskedmeiftheDuchesshadsaidanythingtomebefore
Ikilledher,andIsaidno.Thatwasalie.”
Aheartbeatpassed.“Whatdidshesay?”
“I…Iaskedheraboutmybrotherandyours.Shesaidtheywere
together,butthat’sallshewouldsayaboutthem.”Iwatchedhimreturntokneeling
besideme.“ShetoldmethatTawnywasgoingtoAscendwithoutwaiting—thatit
could’vealreadyhappened.ShesaidthattheQueenknewhowmuchIcaredfor
Tawnyandwantedhertobethere,sowhenIreturnedhome,Iwouldfeel
comfortable.”
“Gods.”Casteelleanedover,cuppingthebackofmyhead.
“Youdon’tknowifanyofthatistrue.Anyofit,Poppy.Yourbrother.Mine.
Tawny.She—”
“ShesaidthattheQueenwillbethrilledwhenshelearnswe’ve
married.Thatifsheknewthathadhappened,noneofwhattookplacelastnight
would’vebeennecessary,”Itoldhim,andhestilled.“ShetoldmethatI
accomplishedtheonethingtheQueennevercould.ThatItookAtlantia.”
“Thatdoesn’tmakeanysense,Poppy.”
“Iknow,”Isaid.“Neitherdoeswhatshesaidaboutthe
Queenbeingmygrandmother.Itmakesnosenseatall.It’ssofaroutthere
that,sounbelievablethatI…Ican’thelpbutwonderifsomeofitistrue.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter42
Werodeeast,towardAtlantia,underaskythatwasacanvas
ofblues.
Themenwho’dtraveledwithAlastirwerewithus,eventhough
thewolvenhadn’tmadethetripbacktoSpessa’sEnd.Theyweremissingafew,
morethanjustthewolvenDante,butourgrouphadtripled,ifnotmore,in
size.We’dgainedJasperandseveralotherwolven,whowerereturningto
Atlantia.VonettahadremainedbackinSpessa’sEnd,butshehadpromisedthat
shewouldseemesoonassheplannedtoreturnforhermother’sbirthdayand
theupcomingbirthofherlittlebrotherorsister.
Thebarren,flatlandsoneithersideoftheheavilywooded
areagavewaytofieldsoftallreedswithtiny,whiteflowers.Beckettran
besideusinhiswolvenform,seemingtopullfromanendlessreserveofenergy
Ifoundenviable.Hewouldraceahead,disappearingamongthewispyplants,
onlytopopupafewsecondslaterbesideusoncemore.Heneverstrayedtoo
farfromourside—orratherfromCasteel’sside.IfiguredBeckett’scloseness
hadtodowithhisPrince’spresence,andIwasgladIpickedupnofearfrom
him—fromanyofthosewhotraveledwithus.
Butthegroupwasquiet,evenCasteel,andtherewereso
manyreasonsforthesilence.Therewasn’tasinglepersonherewhohadn’tlost
someoneinthebattleoratNewHaven.
Icouldn’tthinkof
Elijah,ofMagdaandherunbornchild,ofanyofthem.Icouldn’tthinkofwho
wouldnowaddthenamestothewallsunderground.
ButIknewCasteeldid.Iknewthatwaswhyhe’dfallensilent
severaltimesthenightbefore,andIfiguredithadverylittletodowith
whatwe’dtalkedabout.HemissedElijah.Mournedhimandalltheothers,andI
knewhebelievedhe’dfailedthem.
Mythoughtswereheavy,anditworemedown.Thelackof
sleepdidn’thelp.NightmaresofthenightoftheCravenattackfoundmeonce
more,andeventhoughCasteelhadbeentherewhenIwoke,gaspingforairwith
ascreamburningthroughmythroat,thehorrorsofthenightfoundmeagainas
soonasIfellbackasleep.
Iwasn’tlookingforwardtotonight.
ThesunwashighaboveuswhenIrealizedthehorizonI’d
beenstaringatwasn’twherethecloudsmettheland.Isatstraighter,
grippingthesaddleaspatchesofdarkgreenstartedtoappearinthegray
ahead.Thismist.Itwasthemistobscuringthemountains,sothickthatfor
howevermanymileswe’dtraveled,I’dbelievedittobethesky.
“Youseeitnow?”Casteelasked.“TheSkotos?”
Heartstammering,Inodded.“Themistissothick.Ifit’s
likethisduringtheday,howmuchworseisitatnight?”
“It’llthinoutabitoncewegetintothefoothills.”
Casteel’sarmremainedsecurearoundmeasIstretchedforward.“Butat
night—well,themistisallaroundyou.”
Ishiveredasmoreofthemountainsbegantopeekthrough
themist.Arockycroppinghere,aclusteroftreesthere.“Howdidthearmies
getthroughthemistthen?”IlookedatKieran.“Howdidyougethereso
quickly.”
“Thegodsallowedit,”hereplied,andmybrowsrose.“The
mistdidnotcomeforus.Itthinnedoutatnight,enoughforustocontinueforward.”
IsatbackagainstCasteel,hopingthegodswouldallowus
thesame.
Casteelburstthebubbleofhopethenextsecond.“Themist
isneverasbadleavingAtlantiaasitisentering.”
“Great,”Imurmured.
“We’reluckythattheSkotosMountainsarenowherenearas
largeastherangebeyond,”NaillsaidfromwhereherodeonJasper’sother
side.
“Therearelarger
ones?”TheSkotosMountainswerethelargestinSolis,thatIknewofanyway.
TheAtlantiannodded.“Ittakeslessthanadaytocrosswhere
we’repassingthrough.However,somepeakswouldtakedays.”Heshiftedonhis
saddle.“ButtherearemountainsinAtlantiathatstretchsohighintothesky,
youseenothingelse.Peakssohighthatitwouldtakeweeksjusttoreachthe
top.Andoncethere,evenanAtlantianwouldfinditdifficulttobreathe.”
Tendrilsofmistbegantocreepbetweenthebushyreeds,
forminglittlecloudsabovethem.
Beckettdashedahead,andwithinaheartbeat,wasswallowedup
bythemist.Isuckedinasharpbreath,strainingforwardasIreachedformy
dagger—
“He’sokay.”Casteel’shandclosedovermine.Hesqueezed
gently.“See?Thereheis.”
Myheartdidn’tslowasthedark,furryheadappearedabove
themist,tonguelollingashepantedwithexcitement.“Areyousurethere’re
noCravenhere?”
Ridingslightlyahead,Emilsaid,“Therehasn’tbeena
Craventhisfareastsincethewar.”
Istillremainedalertaswenearedablanketofmistwhere
onlyshadowsofshapesexistedbehindit.Musclestensedaseveryinstinctin
mewantedtograbthereinsandpullSettitoastop.Wecouldn’tpossiblypass
throughthis.Whoknewwhatwaitedontheotherside?Andwhatiftheywere
wrongabouttheCraven?GoosebumpsbrokeoutacrossmyskinasJasperandEmil
disappearedthroughthewallofmist.Ashoutbuiltinmythroat,lodgingthere
whenDelanovanishedintothethick,grayish-whitehaze.Istartedtopress
backagainstCasteel—
HeslowedSetti.“ThefirsttimeIsawthewallofmistfrom
theotherside,Irefusedtopassthrough.Itwasn’tbecauseoftheCraven.I
hadn’tlearnedyetthattheytravelinthemist.ItwasthatIfearedwe’d
reachedtheveryendofthekingdom,andthattherewasnothingbeyondit,”
Casteeltoldme,hisarmabandofsteelaroundme.“Iknow
Ilookedtoourright,whereKierankeptpacewithus.After
everythingI’dlearned,Istillfoundithardtopictureeitherofthemafraidof
anything.
“ItwasMalikwhowentthroughfirst,”Casteelcontinued,
dragginghishandaroundmywaistinaslow,comfortingcircle.Ilookeddown,
mygazesnaggingonthegoldenbandhewore.“Foramoment,Ithoughtthatwas
thelastIsawofmybrother,butthenhecameback.Toldustherewasnothing
butweedsandskyontheotherside.”
“Thatwasn’twhathetoldusatfirst,”Kieranchimedin.
“Malikclaimedthereweregiantswiththreeheadsontheotherside.”
“Hesaidwhat?”
Casteellaughed.“Yeah,hedid.Webelievedhimuntilhe
startedlaughing.Bastarddoubledoverwithit.”Therewasafondnessinhis
tone,anditwassoraretohearhimspeakofhisbrotherwithoutsadnessand
anger.“Itwillonlytakeafewsecondstopassthrough.Ipromise.”
AsNaillenteredthemist,Inoddedjerkily.“Ifthereare
three-headedgiantsontheotherside,I’mgoingtobeveryangrywithbothof
you.”
“Iftherearethree-headedgiantsawaitingus,youranger
willbetheleastofmyconcerns,”Casteelreplied,tonelightwithamusement.
“Ready?”
Notreally,butIsaid,“Yes.”
Fightingtheurgetoclosemyeyes,Ijerkedasthinvapors
stretchedoutfromtherapidlyapproachingmass,acoolcaressagainstmy
cheeks.Settimadeasoftwhinnyasthetendrilscurledaroundhislegs,and
thenthemistenvelopedus.Icouldseenothing.Nothingbutthethick,
choking,milky-whiteair.Panicbubbledupinme—
Casteelshiftedbehindme,pressinghislipstothespace
behindmyearashewhispered,“ThinkofallthethingsIcoulddotoyou.”The
handatmyhipglidedovermythigh,andthenupit,movingwithpredatory
gracetowardmyverycenter.“Thatnoonewouldeverbeabletosee.Noteven
you.”
Mybreathsnaggedforawhollydifferentreasonashis
fingersdancedoverme.Itensedasmuscleslowinmystomachclenchedin
responseandmyheadsnappedtotheside.Iopenedmymouth,butwhateverIwas
abouttosaywasforgottenwhenCasteelcaughtmylowerlipbetweenhisteeth.
Heslowlyletgoofmylip,buthismouthwasstillthere,
warmandsolidagainstmine.“Ihavesomanyideas.”
Myheartstutteredasawaveofshiversexplodedoverme.I
couldimaginewhatsomeofhisideasinvolved,andforabriefmoment,Iwasn’t
thinkingaboutanything.Abreathysoundleftme,losttothemist—
“Youcanopenyoureyesnow,”hemurmuredagainstmylips.
Ihadn’tevenrealizedI’dclosedthemuntilhespoke,but
nowIknewwhyhe’ddoneandsaidwhathedid.He’dsoughttodistractme,and
ithadworked,bringingaquickendtotherisingpanic.
“Thankyou,”Iwhispered,andhishand,whichhadmadeits
waybacktomyhip,squeezed.Iopenedmyeyesashestraightenedbehindmeto
see…
Toseethatthemisthadthinnedouttowispycoilsaround
moss-shroudedrocksandthelegsofthewaitinghorses.IblinkedasIsaw
Beckettsittingbeforeus,histailswayingalongtheground,stirringthemist
ashecranedhisheadback,lookingup.Ifollowedhisgaze,lipspartingona
sharpinhaleasIsawwhathelookedupon.
Gold.
Glittering,luminousgoldleavessoakedintheraysof
sunlightthatpenetratedthemist.
“Beautiful,aren’tthey?”Delanoasked,lookingup.
“Yes.”Awed,mygazecreptoverthegoldentrees.“I’ve
neverseenanythinglikethem.”Evenwhentheleaveschangedcolorsin
Masadoniawiththeweather,theyellowsweremutedandmuddied.Theseleaves
werepure,spungold.“Whatkindoftreesarethey?”
“TreesofAios,”Casteelanswered,referringtotheGoddess
ofLove,Fertility,andBeauty.Icouldn’tthinkofabetternamesake.“They
grewinthefoothillsandthroughouttheSkotosrangeaftershewenttosleep
here,deepunderground.”
IglancedbackatCasteel.“Shesleepshere?”
Hiseyes,whichwereonlyashadedarkerthantheleaves,
metmine.“Shedoes.”
“Somebelievesheisunderthehighestpeak,”Jaspersaid,
drawingmywide-eyedgazetohis.“WherethetreesofAiosflourishso
intensely,youcanseethemfromtheChambersofNyktos.”
“Chambers…ofNyktos?”Irepeated.
“It’saTemplejustbeyondthePillars,”Emilexplained.
“Verybeautiful.Youmustvisitthem.”
“Doeshesleepthere?”Iasked.
Hesmiledasheshookhishead.“NooneknowswhereNyktos
rests.”
“Oh,”Iwhispered.
“Weshouldgoaheadandsplitintosmallergroups,”Casteel
cutin.“Kieranwillridewithus.Beckett,youneedtotakehumanformandgo
withDelanoandNaill.”
Iwatchedthewolvenboundthroughthemist,causingNaill’s
horsetoprancenervously.TheAtlantianrolledhiseyesashelookedat
Casteel.
“He’sgoodpracticeforwheneveryoudecidetosettledown
andhavechildren,”Casteelsaid,andIcouldhearthesmileinhiswords.
Nailllookedlikehemightfallfromhishorse.
Havingguidedhishorsetofaceus,Jaspersmirked.“Ifear
afteronenightkeepinganeyeonBeckett,hewillswearoffchildren.”
“Gods,”NaillmutteredasBeckettsuddenlylaunchedhimself
ata…goldleafthathadtumbledintohislineofsight.
Quentynshookhisheadashewatchedhisfriend.“Youshould
seehimwiththebutterflies.”
“Ireallydon’twantto.”Naillsighed.
“We’llmeetattheGoldRock.”Casteeladdressedthegroup.
“Remember,noonegoesanywhereunaccompanied.Staytogetheringroupsnolarger
thanthree.”HeturnedtowhereBeckettwasfinallysitting.“Donotexplore.Do
notansweranycalls.”
Mystomachtumbled.WasCasteelreferencingwhatthewolven
believedtheyhadheardfromme?
“Iexpecttosee
everyoneatGoldRock,allinonepiecewiththeirmindsintact,”Casteel
continued,andashivercurleditswaydownmyspine.“Besafe.”
Therewereseveralnodsasthegroupbegantobreakapart,
BeckettleavingwithNaillandDelano,whosaid,“I’llmakesureheshifts.”
QuentynstayedwithJasperandEmil,butbeforetheyheaded
toourright,Jasperrodetoourside,claspingCasteel’shand.“Besafe,Cas.
You’vebeengonefartoolongandaretooclosetohometonotarrive.”
“Youhavenothingtofear.”Casteel’svoicesoftened.
Jaspernodded,andthenhisattentionshiftedtome.“Stay
closetothem,Penellaphe.Themagicinthesemountainshasawayofgetting
underyourskin.Trustthembutbewaryoftrustingwhatyoureyesandears
tellyou.”
Andwiththosepartingwords,herodeoff,thenowpaleand
quietQuentynintow.
IlookedovermyshoulderatCasteel.“Whatinthehellis
thismountaingoingtodo?”
“Nothing,”hereplied,urgingSettiforward.“Aslongaswe
don’tallowitto.”
Quiet.
CasteelandKierandidn’tspeak.Thethickmossalongthe
pathcushionedthehorses’steps.Therewerenosoundsofbirdsoranyanimal
life,northeechoofanywindrustlingthegoldencanopyofleavesaboveus.
Witheverypassinghour,thetemperatureseemedtodropanothercoupleofdegrees
asweclimbedthemountain.TheheavycloakI’dallbutforgottenwhileinSpessa’s
Endwasdonned.Soon,atinglingnumbnessinvadedmycheeks.Itwasn’tlong
afterthatwhenCasteeltuggedthehoodofthecloakupovermyheadandpulled
thehalvesofhisaroundme,too.Wecontinuedonineeriesilenceandthe
unnaturalbeautyofthemountain.Goldleavesaboveglimmered,andalongthe
ground,flecksofgoldspottedthemossandglistenedfromthebark,reminding
meoftheBloodForest.
Alltoosoon,thebeamsofsunlightfilteringthroughthe
leavesfaded,andthestreaksofmistthickened,blanketingthemossaswe
continuedclimbing.Thefoggrew,swirlingaroundourlegsandthenourwaists.
Thelastofthesunreachedus,andweforgedon.Severalhoursintothe
evening,westoppedwhenthemiststretchedaboveus.
CasteelguidedSettitoahaltasheglancedaround.Ihad
noideawhathewaslookingforasIcouldseenothingbutstreamsofwhite
mist.“Thisappearstobeasgoodaplaceasany,”hesaid,hisbreathforming
mistycloudsasheturnedtoKieran.“Whatdoyouthink?”
Thewolvenwasafaintshapebehindthemist.“We’ve
definitelyreachedthepeak,sothisshouldbefine.”
Shouldbe?“Howcanyoutellwe’vereachedthepeak?”
“Ifwehadn’t,wewouldn’tbeabletoseemorethanafew
inchesinfrontofus,”Kierananswerashedismounted,stirringthemist.
Ifrowned.Theycouldseemorethanafewinches?
Casteelshiftedthereinstomyhands.“Holdontothese.I’m
goingtogetdownandwalkyoutwoovertothetree.”
Takingthereins,Iwonderedexactlywhattreehewas
talkingabout.HeswungoffSetti’sback,andforamoment,thegloomspun
aroundhim,seemingtoswallowhim.Myheartkickedagainstmyribs.Hisface
clearedthemistashewalkedtoSetti’sfront,curlinghisfingersaroundthe
horse’shalter.Hewalkedusthroughthechilled,churningairandthen
stopped,takingthereinsfrommeashespoketoSetti,crooningsoftlytothe
horse.Ipickedupsomethingaboutcarrotsandorchardgrassbeforehecame
backtomyside.
Casteelliftedhishandstomyhips,andIgrippedhis
forearmsasIleanedback,pullingalegoverthesaddle.Hehelpedmedown,
takingmyhandasheunloadedoneofthelargerbagsandtherolledblankets.
“Willitbelikethis?”Iaskedasheguidedmeforward,
hatingthatIhadtogoblindly.“Allnight?”
“Itwill,butyou’llgetusedtoit.”
“Idon’tthinkthat’spossible.”
“Howabouthere?”Kieran’svoicecamefromsomewhere.“The
groundisprettylevel.”
“Perfect.”CasteelseemedtoknowexactlywhereKieranwas
becauseafterafewmoments,heappearedfromwithinthemist.
Casteelletgoofmyhand,andIalmostreachedforitasI
lookedback,unabletoseeanything.“DoyouthinkSettiwillbeokay?”
“He’llbefine,”Casteeltoldmeasheknelt.Aflame
sparkedtolifeashelitanoillamp,chasingawayabitofthemist.“I’m
goingtogivehimsomefeedandthenablanket.He’llprobablybeasleepbefore
us.”
IhadnoideahowIwouldsleeptonight.Thesurroundings
madetheBloodForestfeellikealuxuriousrespite.
Anotherlanterncamealive,heldbyKieran.“I’mgoingto
grabsomebranches.”
Casteelglancedup.“Don’tgotoofar.”
“Yes,sir,”Kieranansweredwithfartoomuchenthusiasm.
Iwatchedtheyellowglowofhislanternuntilit
disappeared.“Whyaren’tthereanyanimalsinthesemountains?”
“Theysensethemagicandstayaway.”Casteelunrolleda
thickcanvas,onedesignedtokeepthecoldanddampfromthegroundfromsoaking
through.Ashespreadoutoneoftheblankets,themistscatteredabit.
“Here.”HetookmyglovedhandwhenIdidn’tmove,drawing
medownsoIwasseatedinfrontofhim.“I’mgoingtotakecareofSetti.I’ll
berightback,okay?”
Inodded.Whenherose,Inoticedhelefttheonlysourceof
lightbehind.“Youdon’tneedthelantern?”
“No.”Hestartedtoturnandthenstopped.“Don’tletyour
curiositygetthebestofyou.Stayhere.Please.”
“Youdonotneedtoworryaboutmewanderingoff.”Iwasn’t
goingtomovemorethanafoot,andIdidn’tafterhewentbacktofeedSetti
andmakesurehewascomfortable.
ButIdidliftahand,wavingitthroughthetendrilsoffog
gatheringaroundme.Themistdispersed,onlytoseepbacktodanceandswirlaround
thefingerIworemyringon.Italmostseemedalive,asifitwereinteracting
withmymovementsandnotsimplyimpactedbythem.Myeyessquintedasawisp
ofmistcoileddowntheleftarmofmycloak.Ijerkedmyarmback,andthe
mistrecoiledandstayedthere,afootorsoinfrontofme,waiting…
Bitingmylip,Istretchedforward,extendingmyfingers.
Themistpulsedandthenslowlyexpanded,formingastreamthatgrewwhat
lookedlikeghostlyfingers.Thehandflattenedagainstmyleftpalm.
Igaspedanddrewback.Themistrespondedinkind,
mimickingmymovements.
“Whatareyoudoingoverthere?”Casteel’svoicebroke
throughthesilence,seemingtostartlethemistmorethanme.Itscattered.
Andthenitstruckme.“Thisisn’tnormalmist,isit?The
mististhemagic.”
“Yes,”camehisresponse.“Andyou’redefinitelydoing
something,aren’tyou?”
Ishookmyheadinwonder.“No…”Idraggedthewordoutas
themagictwistedtowardthesoundofCasteel’svoice.Iroseontomykneesand
stretchedout,skimmingjustthetipsofmyfingersthroughthevapors.Itshimmied.
Mybrowsrose.“Kieransaidthemagichereistiedtothegods.Howisthat
possibleiftheysleep?”
“Theshort,verycondensedversionofaveryconvoluted
reasonisthateventhoughthegodssleep,thereisalevelofconsciousness
stillpresent.Youalreadyknowthat.”
Idid.
“TheycreatedthemisttoprotectthePillarsofAtlantia,”
heexplained,andthemistturnedbacktohim,asifitwerelistening.“But
it’sbasicallyanextensionofthem,orattheveryleast,anextensionof
theirwill.”
Somethingaboutbeingsurroundedbyapartofthegods’
consciousnesswasincrediblybizarre.“WhatdothePillarsofAtlantialook
like?”
“You’llseethemtomorrow.”
“But—”
“Somesaypatienceisavirtue,”hisvoiceechoedbackto
me.
“Somedeserveapunchintheface,”Imuttered,butIfell
silent.Asmuchasitperturbedmetoadmit,Casteelwasright.Ieventually
grewusedtothemistor,moreappropriately,themagic.Iwonderedthough…if
itwereanextensionofthegods’will,thenwhydidAtlantianstriggerit?
Thenagain,ithadallowedthearmiestopassthrough.
However,theywereleavinginsteadofentering.
Casteelreturned,asdidKieran.Asmallfirewaslit,
beatingbackthethickestofthemagic.Itookcareofmypersonalneeds,not
farfromCasteel’spresence,whichwasnotsomethingIcaredtoeverrepeat,
andnoamountofintimacyoropennesswouldchangethat.Thenweatebythe
fire.Itwasn’tuntilafterward,whenKieranstretchedoutonthecanvasthat
Casteelhadlaiddownearlier,thatItookacloserlookatthesleeping
arrangements.
Therewerethreeblankets,sidebysideandoverlapping.My
eyeswidenedasIstaredatthetwospacesbesideKieran.
“Arewesleepinghere?”Idemanded.“Thethreeofus?”
“Iwaswonderingwhenshewasgoingtonoticethat,”Kieran
commented.
MygazenarrowedasthemistslippedoverKieran’schest.
“Isitreallynecessarythatthethreeofussleep…soclose?”
“Isitnecessaryforyoutomakeitsoundlikewe’dbedoing
somethingotherthansleeping?”Casteelqueried,andwhenmygazeshottohim,
hegrinned.“Imean,allwe’redoingissleepingsidebyside.”Hereclined
backononehandasthedimpleappearedinhischeek.“Unlessyouhaveadifferent
idea.Ifso,I’mverycurioustolearnmoreaboutit,wife
Istaredathimasthemistseemedtostillaroundus.
“What?I’mjustaverycurioussoul.”
“DidyouforgetthatI’marmed?”Iaskedsoftly.
“Areyouthinkingaboutusingitagainstme?”Intheglowof
thefire,bothdimplesappeared.“Ifso,thissleepingarrangementmaygetvery
uncomfortableforKieran.”
IimmediatelythoughtoftheJoining,andthehumordancing
acrossCasteel’sfacewasevidencethatheknewwheremymindhadgone.
“Or…interesting,”camethewolven’sresponse.
“I’mgoingtoseriouslyhurtyouboth,”Igrowledasthe
mistdriftedaway.
“AndI’msovery…intriguednow,”Casteelreplied
andthenlaughedashepattedthespacebesidehim.“It’sgoingtogeteven
colderduringthenight,moresothanwhenwewereintheBloodForest.Inabout
anhourorso,you’llbegratefulforthebodyheat.”
Thatwashighlyunlikely.
“Which,bytheway,istheonlythingeitherofusis
offeringtonight,”Casteeltackedon,theteasinggonefromhisgaze.
Kieransnortedandtherewasatasteofsugaronmy
tongue—amusement.“Yeah,Idon’tfeellikehavingmyheadrippedofftonight.”
“Idoubtthatwillhappen,”Imuttered.
Casteelmovedthen,catchingmyhand.Hepulledmedown
besidehim,andIdidn’treallyfighthim.Thesleepingarrangementswere
awkward,butCasteelwasmy…hewasmyhusband.
Anditwasn’tlikeKieranhadn’talreadybeeninfarmore
awkwardsituationswithus.
Likewhenhe’dseenmenakedinthetubwhenwebarelykneweach
other.
Orwhenhe’dheardmescreamingandwalkedinonCasteeland
I,onlytodiscovertheywerenotshoutsoffearorpain
OrwhenCasteelhadneededtofeed.
ItoldmyselftostopthinkingaboutallofthatasCasteel
drewtheblanketoverusandthensettledbesideme.Therewasspacebetweenthe
threeofus.Notmuch.Maybeaninchorso,andIsohopedIstayedstillduring
thenight.
AndIreallyhopedthatwhatCasteelhadsaidaboutKieran
wasn’ttrue—thathekickedinthemiddleofthenight.
IwantedtoturntowardCasteel.Iliked…usinghimasa
pillow.Okay.Ijustlikedbeingclosetohim,buthewaslyingonhisback,
actuallybehavinghimself,andsoIstayedwhereIwas,watchingthemistasit
movedinslowwavesaboveus.Afteracoupleofminutes,Itiltedmyhead,and
itseemedtodothesame,tippingtothesameside.
IglancedatCasteel.Ithoughthiseyeswereclosed.WhenI
lookedatKieran,itappearedtobethesamewithhim.Couldtheyreallybe
asleepalready?Idrewahandoutfromtheblanketandlifteditafewinches.
Themistdroppedandstretchedlikebefore,formingwispyfingers.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Casteelasked.
Themistfellapart.
“Youscaredit,”Igrumbled.
“Scaredwhat?”heasked.
“Themist—ormagic.Whatever.”
Casteelshiftedontohisside.“Youcan’tscareit,”he
said.“It’sjustmagic.It’snotlikeit’salive.”
“Seemsalivetome,”Ireplied.
“Thatdoesn’tmakesense,”Kieransaidtiredly.
“Itinteractswithyou,”Itoldthem.
“It’syourimagination.”Thewolvenrolled,andIfelthis
kneebrushmyleg
“It’snotmyimagination.”
“Themagiccanplaytricksonyou,”Casteelsaid,takingmy
handanddrawingitbackundertheblanket.“Makeyouthinkyou’reseeingthings
youaren’t.”
Ifrowned.
“Youshouldsleep,”hesaid.“Themorningwillcometoosoon.”
Notsoonenoughforme.
Inthequiet,mythoughtswandered.IthoughtofRenfernand
howIwishedI’ddonesomethingmore,somethingdifferenttochangewhat’d
happenedtohimandElijahandalltheothers.IwonderedifPhillipsand
Luddie,theguardandHuntsmenwho’dtraveledfromMasadoniawithus,hadknown
thetruthabouttheAscendedoriftheyhadbeenacasualtyofaquietwar.
JustlikeRylanand…andVikter.MyheartachedasIwatchedthemistslowly
moveaboveme.ImissedTawny,andIprayedthatshehadn’tgonethroughthe
Ascension.Thenmymindveeredtohowthewolvenhadsurroundedus.Couldthat
havebeenme?HadIprojectedsomething,andtheysimplyanswered?
IlookedoveratKieranagain.Hiseyeswereclosed.Didhe
reallythinkitwasme,callingtothem?
Ihatedmomentslikethis,whensleepevadedmeandallthat
existedwasthingsbetternotdwelledupon.Iforcedmythoughtsaway,and
somethingoccurredtome.“ArethereanygodsasleepundertheBloodForest?”
“What?”Casteelmurmured,hisvoicethickwithsleep.
IrealizedI’dwokenhim,thoughIdidn’tfeelevenremotely
badaboutthat.Irepeatedmyquestion.
“Thatispossiblythemostrandomthingthat’severcomeout
ofyourmouth,”Kierangrumbled.“AndI’veheardyousaysomeprettyrandom
stuff.”
“TherearenogodsundertheBloodForest—asfarasIknow,”
Casteelanswered,hiseyesclosed.“Whatmadeyouthinkofthat?”
“ThetreeshereremindmeoftheBloodForest.Thoughgold
insteadofred.”
“Hmm,”Casteelmurmured.“Makessense.”
“Maybetoyou,”Kierangrumbled.
“DoyouknowwherePenellaphesleeps?”Iaskedaboutthe
goddessI’dbeennamedafter.
Kieransighed.“Nothere,Icantellyouthat.”
AsmallsmileplayedacrossCasteel’slips.“Ibelievedshe
slumbersundertheGreatAtheneuminCarsodonia.”
“Really?”WhenCasteelnodded,IdecidedIdidn’tlikethe
ideaofthegoddessofWisdom,Loyalty,andDutysleepingthere,attheheart
oftheAscended.“WhataboutTheon?”
“ThegodofAccordandWarandhistwinLailahrestbeneath
thePillarsofAtlantia,”Casteelanswered.
Iopenedmymouth—
“Please,don’t,”Kieraninterrupted.
“Don’twhat?”
“Askwhereeverysinglegodorgoddesssleeps,becausethat
willleadtomorequestions.Ijustknowitwill,”hesaid,andIrolledmy
eyes.“Youshouldbeasleeplikethem,YourHighness.”
“Don’tcallmethat,”Isnapped.
“Thengotosleep,”Kieranordered.
“Ican’tjustfallasleep,”Imuttered.“I’mnotlikeyoutwo.”
“Icanalwaysreadtoyou,”Casteeloffered.“Istillhavea
certaindiarywithme.ThereisachapterI’msureyou’llbeinterestedin.
MissWillahasthesamesleepingarrangement—”
“No.Nope.”Iscrewedmyeyesclosed.“Notnecessary.”
“Areyousure?”Casteelseemedtohavewiggledcloser.His
entirelegpressedagainstmine.
“Yes.”
Helaughedsoftly,butIdidn’tdaresayaword.Iwouldn’t
putitpasthimtoretrievethatdamndiaryandsomehowbeabletoreadthose
wordswithhisextra-specialAtlantianeyes.So,Ilaythere.Ididn’tknowhow
muchtimepassedbeforeIfellasleep,butIknewImust’ve,becauseIsuddenly
becameawareofhowincrediblywarmIfelt.Everypartofmehadsomehow
escapedthecoldofthemountain.Everypartofme…
Slowly,IrealizedexactlywhyIwassotoasty.I’dturned
toCasteelinmysleep.Hewasonhisback,andI’dallbutclimbedhalfwayon
topofhim.Myheadlayinthecrookofhisshoulderandchest.Oneofmylegs
wastossedoverhis,andtheentirefrontofmybodywasfusedtohisside.One
ofhishandswascurledaroundmyshoulder.
Butthatwasn’ttheonlyexplanationforwhyIwassowarm.
Heatpressedagainstmyback.Aheavyarmlayovermywaistandalegwas
tuckedbetweenmine.
IfIhadturnedtoCasteelinmysleep,Kieranhadalso
turned,asifCasteelwereamagnetthatdrewbothofus.
MyheartthuddedasIlaythere,unsurewhattodo.ShouldI
wakethem?ShrugKieranoff?Ihadafeelingthatwouldwakethem,andthelast
thingIwantedwasforKierantodiscoverthe…thethreeofuscuddledtogether.
Bothofthemwereincrediblywarm,andtherewasn’tanything
sinfulaboutthis.Well,thewayIwashalfsprawledacrossCasteeldidn’tfeel
exactlyinnocent,butKieranhadmostlikelydonewhatanyonewould.He’d
soughtwarmthinhissleep,andIcouldn’texactlyfaulthimforthat.
Whatalsodidn’tfeelentirelyinnocentwaswheremyhand
rested.ItwasshamefullylowonCasteel’sstomach.IknewthisbecauseIcould
feeltheimprintofthebuttonsagainstmypalm.IfImovedmyfingersmorethan
aninchlower,Idoubtedhewouldremainasleep.Theknowledgeofthatfilledmy
headwithallkindsofthingsIreallyshouldn’tbethinkingaboutatthe
moment,likewhatwe’ddoneinthecarriage…inthebedchamber,thecavern.
ImentallythroatpunchedmyselfasImovedmyhandaway
fromthatreallyfascinatingpartofCasteel,tryingnottofocusonthe
tautnessofhislowerstomachorthewayhisskinseemedtoburnthroughhis
clothing—
Casteel’sarmcurled,tighteningaroundmyshoulder,drawing
mecloser.MybreathsnaggedashismovementtriggeredKieran.Heshiftedbehind
me,andmypulsefeltlikeatrappedbird.Asleek,muscledthighslidbetween
mine,pressingin.IhadnoideaifitwasCasteel’sorKieran’s.
Ahundreddifferentthoughtsandemotionsexplodedthrough
me,somany,sofast,Icouldn’tmakesenseofthem.
Butneitherofthemwoke,soIlaythere,andmymind
wanderedagain,nottoplacesthatwouldmakethissleepingarrangementeven
moreawkwardortosadones
Ipretended.
NotlikebeforewithCasteel.Ipretendedthatmybrother
wasstillamortal,aswasTawny.ThatCasteel’sbrotherwasfree,andthatthe
Ascendedweren’tareality.IpretendedthattomorrowIwouldbearrivingina
kingdomthatwelcomedme,toaKingandQueenwhowouldgreetmewithopen
arms.IpretendedthatCasteelandIwereatthestartofalifetogether,one
thatwouldbelongandhappyinsteadofonethatfeltlikeitcouldendatany
minute.Ipretendedthatwebothaged,andthatIwasalwaysrecklessenough,
braveenoughtojustletmyselffeel,toexperience,tolivewithoutthepast
shadowingeverychoiceImade,orthefutureloomingovereverydecision.
Thatwealwaysexistedinthenowand…lived
Eventually,thewarmththatbothofthemradiated,the
steady,deepriseandfalloftheirchests,lulledmebacktosleep.Sometime
later,Idriftedonthefringesofsleeponcemore,broughttherebyawhisper.
Acalling.Aname.
“Poppy…”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter43
Myentirebeingseizedinrecognitionofthatvoice—oneI
couldn’tpullfromthedepthsofmyimaginationnomatterhowhardItried.
Butitwashim—thatwasmyfather’svoicecallingmyname.
Myeyesopenedtomistydarknessand…andgoldenlamplight,
andIrealizedIwasn’tawake.
Iwasthereoncemore,thrustbackintothenightthatended
inblood-soakedscreams.
“Poppy-flower,Iknowyou’redownthere.Comeout,”
hecalled.“Ineedyoutocometome,Poppy-flower.”
Chesttwisting,Ifollowedthesoundofhisvoice,mylips
movingbutthevoicecomingoutofmesoundingsomuchyounger.“Papa?I
waslookingforyou.”
“Youfoundme,likeyoualwaysdo.”Theshadows
pulsedandthickenedinfrontofme,takingshape.Hewastall—thetallest
personIknew.“Youshouldn’tbedownhere,mybabygirl.”
Istaredupathim,wishingIcouldseehisfaceclearly.“I
wantedtogowithyou,Papa.I’mnotscared.”ButIwas.Iwastrembling,
andmytummyhurt.
“You’resuchabraveone,butyoushouldn’tbedownhere.”
Heknelt,andeyesthatmatchedminetookupmywholeworld.“Whereisyour
brother?”
“Withthatwomanwhohadcookies,butIwanttobewith
youand—”
“Youcan’tgowithme.”Coldhandslandedonmy
shoulders,andhisfaceseemedtopiecetogether.Squarejawcoveredwith
severaldays’worthofhair.Mommacalleditabeardandoftencomplainedabout
it,butIsawherrubbingherfingersoveritwhenshethoughtIanandI
weren’tlooking.Straightnose.Darkbrows.Eyeslikepine.“Youneedto
stayhereandkeepyourmotherandbrothersafe.”
“Thisisher?”anothervoiceaskedfromthedarkness.
Astranger’svoicethatwasn’tcompletelyunfamiliar.
“Thisismydaughter,”Papaansweredashelooked
overhisshoulderbeforesmilingatme,butthesmilewasallwrong.Tootight.
“Shedoesn’tknow.”
“Understood,”thevoicecameagain,stillfamiliar.
Ididn’tunderstandwhathemeant.AllIknewwasthathe
wasgoingtoleave,andIdidn’twantthat.
“Whatapretty
littleflower.”Thecoldhandstouchedmycheeks.“Whataprettypoppy.”
Papaleanedin,pressinghislipstothecrownofmyhead.“Iloveyoumore
thanallthestarsinthesky.”
Mybreathchoked.“Iloveyoumorethanallthefishin
theseas.”
“That’smygirl.”Shoutsfromoutsidedrewhimaway
fromme.“Cora?”hecalledforMomma.Onlyheevercalledherthat.
Shedriftedfromtheshadows,herfeaturespainedasshe
tookmyhandinhercoldone.“Youshould’veknownshewouldfindaway
downhere.”Shelookedbehindthem,towhereIcouldn’tsee.“Youtrust
him?”
“Ido.He’sgoingtoleadustosafety.”
Papaturnedtome.“Staywithyourmomma,baby.”
Cold,coldhandstouchedmyfaceagain.“Staywithherandfindyourbrother.
I’llbebackforyousoon.”
Mistpouredin,takingPapawithitasitthinnedout.I
couldhearhisvoice.Hewasspeaking,butIcouldn’tmakeoutwhathesaid.I
startedtofollowbecauseIknewhewouldn’tcomeback—
“Don’tlook,Poppy.Don’tlookoverthere,”came
Momma’shushedvoiceasshepulledonmyhand.“Wemusthide.Hurry.”
Confused,Itriedtoseeherassheledmethroughthewispy
void.“IwantPapa—”
“Shh.Wemustbequiet.WemustbequietsoPapacan
comefindus.”
Istumbledafterher,trippingwhenshestopped.
“Getin,Poppy.Ineedyoutogetinandbeveryquiet,
okay?Ineedyoutobeassilentasamousenomatterwhat.Doyouunderstand?”
Ishookmyhead.“Iwannastaywithyou.”
“I’llberighthere.”Herdamp,icyhandstouched
mine.“Ineedyoutobeabiggirlandlistentome.Youhavetohide—”
Asoundcame,ashoutthatcausedMommato…todisappearfor
amoment.“You’vegottoletgo,baby.Youneedtohide,Poppy—”Momma
froze.
Timestilledaswestaredatoneanother.Herskinthinned,
revealingthedelicatebonesbeneath.Ishrankback—
“I’msorry,”avoicewhispered.
Mommawasyankedawayfromme.Istumbledafterher,butit
wastoolate.Therewasnothingbutmist,andallthatremainedwashervoice,
herwords.“Howcouldyou?”
“Momma?”Iwhispered,steppingforward,unableto
makeoutwhatshesaid.
Whataprettylittleflower.
Whataprettypoppy.
Pickitandwatchitbleed.
Notsoprettyanylonger….
Ahandgrippedmyarm,theskinpalerthanmine,spottedwith
redasleavesrattledlikedrybones,andalowrumblefilledtheair.Shadows
surroundedhimashetuggedonmyarm,theedgesofhisdarknesswashingoverme—the
edgesofhisblackcloakcoveringmeasIstumbled.Hetoowastall,buthis
facewasavoiceshroudedbycloth.
Ineededtoseehisface.
Ineeded—
Iwasthrustbacktowardthescreechingandthehowls.And
thefog—themistthatwasaroundmeandinme.Itstartedtobreakapart,and
therumblegrewbelowmeintheground.Andavoice,avoicethatsoundedlike
spungoldandwindchimeswhispered“stop,stop,stop”overandover.
ButIcouldn’tstop.Ineededtoseehisface.Themanin
darkmovedaway,likeamemoryslippingthroughmyfingers.Ifollowedbecause
itwasimportant.Thismemory.BecausesomeoneelsehadbeentherewithMomma.
Someonewhodidn’twanttobeseen.Istaggeredforward—
“Poppy!”Thevoicewasajolt,astrikeoflightning,andmy
eyesopened.
Themisthadthickenedinfrontofme,awhirling,churning
mass.Specksofgoldblinkedinandoutfromwithin.
“Nofarther,”thevoicewhispered,avoicesopureitwas
almostunbearabletohear.“Whatyouseekisnottobefoundhere.”
“Stop.”Themistsolidified,tookform,andbecamemore
golden.Itwastall.Shewastall.Tumblingwavesofhairthecolorof
firetwinedtogether.Afaceblurred,buteyesthecolorofmoltensilver
burnedthroughthemist.Throughme.“Gohome.Takewhatisyours,andyouwill
findwhatyouseekthere.Thetruth.Gohome.”
“Whoareyou?”Iwhispered.“Who—?”
Anarmsnaggedmearoundthewaistwithoutanywarning,
drawingmebackagainstawarm,hardchest.Therewasthescentofdarkspices
andpineasmyfeetweresweptoutfromunderme,andwewentdown,landing
hardontheground.
“Poppy.Gods.Poppy.”Casteelturnedmeinhislap,onehand
palmingmycheek.Hewasbreathinghard,hischestrisingandfallingrapidly
astendrilsofmistdriftedoverhistoo-paleface.“Deargods,Poppy,whatin
thehellwereyoudoing?”
“I…”Ilookedaround,seeingnothingbutthickfogand
Kieranstandingaboveus,staringbehindmeandbreathingjustasheavilyas
Casteel.Confusionsweptthroughme.
“Whatthehellwereyoudoing?”Casteeldemandedagain,
givingmeashake.Hisbreathingwasharsh,formingquickcloudsinthecold.
“Youcould’ve—youwould’vebeenbroken,Poppy.BrokenandshatteredinawayI
wouldneverbeabletofix.”
Ididn’tunderstandwhathewastalkingabout,buthelooked…he
lookedlikeI’dneverseenhimbefore.Terrified.Eyeswideand
luminous,eveninthemist,theplanesandanglesofhisfacestark.
Heclaspedmycheeks
withhisglovedhands.“Itoldyounottowanderoff.”
“I…Ididn’t,”Itoldhim.“Iwassleeping—Iwasdreaming.I
heard…Iheardmyfathercallingmyname—”
“Fuckingmist,”Kierangrowled,wavingahandangrily
throughthethickwhite
“No.No.Itwasadream,butitwasreal.Imean,
itwaspiecesofthenighttheCravenattacked.Someone…someoneelsewasthere
attheend.”Istartedtopullaway,butCasteelstoppedme.“Hewasdressed,
cloaked,andhewastherethatnight.”ItwistedinCasteel’sgrip.“Iwastrying
toseehisface.IfIcouldonlyseehisface,I’dknowwhohewas
MylipspartedasIstaredintonothing.Itwasn’tavoid
simplyabsentoflight.Itwasanend.Avastnothingnesswaited
beyondtheedgeofa…cliff.
“Ohmygods,”Iwhispered,shudderingasIrealizedhow
closeI’dcometosteppingoffinto…intonothing
“Itwasthemist,”Casteelsaid,histonetoogentleashe
guidedmystrickengazebacktohis.
“Shestoppedme,”Iwhispered.
“What?”
“Didn’tyouseeher?Shestoppedme.Oh,mygods.”
Casteelsmoothedhis
thumbacrossmycheek,alongthescarthere.“Nooneelsewashere.Itwasjust
youandthemist.”
“No.Therewassomeoneelse.”Ilookedovermyshoulder,
towardtheemptiness.“Iheardhervoice.Shekepttellingmetostop,andthen
sheappearedinfrontofme.”IturnedbacktoCasteel.“Shewasrightthere.
Wherethereis…thereisnothing.Shetoldmetogonofarther.Thatthetruth
wasn’there.Shetoldmetogohomeandto…”Istartedshivering,andI
couldn’tstop.“Totakewhatwasmine.AndthatIwouldlearnthetruth.”
“It’sokay,”Casteelassuredme,butthelookheexchanged
withKieransaidtheexactopposite.“Let’sheadbacktocamp.”
“Youdidn’tseeher?”
“No,Princess.”Hekissedmyforehead.“Ionlysawyouabout
to—”Hecuthimselfoff.“Itwasonlyyou.”
AsCasteelhelpedmestand,Iknewthedreamhadbeen
peelingbackthelayersoftime,revealingpieceslong-buriedundertrauma.And
IknewIhadn’tbeenalone.Someone…orsomethinghadstoppedmefrom
walkingoffthesideofthemountain.
Westartedto—
TherumbleIheardearlierreturned,thistimelouder.
KierancursedasCasteelwhippedtowardme.BeforeIcouldsayaword,he
liftedmeinhisarmsandran—ranasfaraswecouldmakeitbeforeheseemed
tolosehisbalance.Myheartseizedasthemistscattered.Throwntotheside,
Casteel’sarmtightenedaroundmeaswefellintoKieran.Hegrabbedme—grabbed
us—aswepressedintoatreethatvibratedandrattledlikeachild’stoy.
Goldenleavesshakenfreedrifteddowntous,downtotheearththatshookand
groaned.
“Whatishappening?”Igasped,ahandclutchingboth
Casteel’sandKieran’scloaks.
Casteelturnedtome,butIcouldn’thearwhathewassaying
overtherumbling.Atanymoment,itfeltliketheentiremountainwouldrip
openandswallowuswhole.Mywideeyesmethisasmyheartthundered.
Andthenitstopped.
Theleavesstoppedfallingasthetreescalmed,andthe
groundstilled.
“Isitover?”Iwhisperedafterseveralmomentsofsilence.
“Ithinkso.”Casteelswallowedashisgazeliftedtowhere
Kieranwasslowlyclimbingtohisfeetbehindme.Thenhiseyesmetmineagain.
“Whodidyousayyousaw?Whostoppedyou?”
“Idon’tknowwhoitwas,butitwasawoman,”Itoldhim.
“Why?”
“Becausethatwasagod,”Kieransaidhoarsely.“Returning
totheirplaceofrest.”
WithinthefirsthourofourjourneyoutoftheSkotos
Mountains,themagicofthemistlifted.ThetreesofAiosformedaglittering,
goldenceilingaswedescendedthemountain,andIwasabletoremovemygloves.
Bythesecondhour,Iconsideredshruggingoffmycloak.Thesteadilyrising
temperaturesshould’veliftedmyspirits,butmymindwasstillonthat
mist-drenchedcliff.
Ihadnoideaifthecloakedmanfrommydreamorhiswords
wererealorahallucination.Thelatterseemedthelikeliestexplanationthe
longerIwasawake.I’dneversleepwalkedbefore,andIhadnorecollectionof
rising.Thatlentcredencetothemagicofthemountainspreyinguponme,but
somethingorsomeonehadstoppedme.AndKieranhadsuggestedthatithadbeen
Aiosherself.
Iglancedupatthegoldentrees.Couldittrulyhavebeen
thegoddess?Thatseemedtoofantasticaltobelieve.
“Wouldyoulikesomethingtoeat?”Kieranasked,drawingme
frommythoughts.
Casteelhadaskedthesamequestionnomorethanthirty
minutesago,butmystomachwasfulloftoomanyknotstoeatmorethanafew
slicesofbaconCasteelhadofferedmethatmorning.
“Ifyouwouldlikesomethingtodrink,justletmeknow,”
Casteelsaid,andInodded.
Throughoutthemorning,bothhadattemptedtoengagemein
conversationordrownmeinfoodanddrink.Ijust…mymindwasintoomany
places,inthepastandinthefuture.
“I’vebeenthinkingaboutwhenwegettoAtlantia,”Casteel
announcednottoolongafter.“Weneedtoresumethosehorsebackriding
lessons.You’regoingtoneedmorethanoneifyouplantorunintothecapital
ofSolisonyourownhorse.”
Excitementtrickledthroughme.“Iwouldlikethat.”
“I’msureSettiwouldenjoyit.”Casteelguidedthehorse
aroundanarrowbend.“Hewillprobablyexpectdailyvisitsfromyou.Though,I
probablywon’tbehappy,”hewenton.“Ilikeyourighthere.”
“Ireallyhopeyoutwodon’tturnintooneofthosecouples
whoareconstantlywhisperingsweetnothingsatoneanother,”mutteredKieran.
Mybrowslifted.
“Sincewe’vebeenmarried,she’salreadytoldmetoshut
up—howmanytimes?I’mprettysureshe’sthreatenedtostaborpunchmesincethen,
too.”
Ididnotrecalleitherofthosethings
“Well,”Kieransaid.“That’sgoodnews.”
“Butyou’restillgoingtohearmewhisperthings.”Casteel’s
lipsbrushedthehealingbitemark.“Justextremelydirtythings.”
“Shutup,”Isaid.
Casteellaughedashisarmtightenedaroundme,butIsaw
Kieran’sgazeflickovermetoCasteel,andIfeltthePrincenodbehindme.
Kieranrodeahead,goingfarenoughthatIcouldbarelymakeouttheshapeof
himandhishorse.Itensed,knowingtherewasnootherreasonforKieran’s
actionsthantogiveusspace.
Werodeinsilenceforacoupleofminutes,andthenCasteel
said,“Lastnightwasn’tyourfault.Itwasthemist.Somehow,itwas
triggered,anditwentafteryou.Ishouldn’thaveyelledatyouafterward.I’m
sorry.”
ThesincerityinhistonestartledmeenoughthatIturned
myheadtowardhis.“Ididn’tthinkyouyelledatme.Youwerejust…”
“What?”
“Youwerejustscared.”
“Iwasn’tscared.Iwasfuckingterrified,”headmitted.“When
werealizedyouweregone,weknewitwouldn’tbeeasytotrackyouinthe
mist.Idon’tknowhowwefoundyousoquickly,butthankthegodswedid.
Hell.”Hecoughedoutadrylaugh.“Maybethegodsactuallyhavesomethingto
dowithusfindingyou.”
“DoyoureallythinkthatwaswhoIsaw?Aios?”
“Honestly?”Hisbreathtouchedmycheek.“Weallfeltthe
earthshake,andNyktosdidshowushisapproval.Theyseemtolikeyou,
Princess.”
Iworriedmylowerlip.“Iknowyoudon’tthinkmydreamwas
real—”
“Ididn’tsaythat.Ithinkthemistgotinyourhead,but
thatdoesn’tmeanthatwhatyousaworheardwasn’tarealmemory.Itcould’ve
beenreal,anditcould’vebeenthemist.Bothofthosethings.Eitherway,
whathappenedlastnightwasn’tyourfault.”
“ButneitheryounorKieranalmostwalkedoffacliff,”I
pointedout.
“Thatdoesn’tmeanweweren’taffected.”
“Youwere?”
Hewasquietandthensaid,“Ihadstrangedreamslast
night.”
“Likewhat?”
Thistime,hewassilentforevenlonger.“Idreamtthatyou
were…youwereinthecageIwasheldin.”
“Oh.”Mystomachdipped.
“AndI…Icouldn’tfreeyou.”Heshiftedbehindmeasifhe
weren’tcomfortable,andIsuddenlywishedwewereface-to-face.
Myhearttwistedinmychest.“That’snotgoingtohappen.”
“Iknow,butthemiststillpreyedonmyfear.”Hishand
squeezedmyhip.“Andconvincedmeotherwise.ThatwashowIwoketofindyou
gone,gaspingforairindisbelief.”
Whythemistwouldleadhimtodreamofsuchathing
unsettledmegreatly.
“Kieranwokelikehewasbeingchasedbyhisownghosts,
roughlyatthesametime.Ithinkthemistgottobothofusinoursleepand
thatwaswhywehadnoideayou’dawakenedandleft.”
Wasthatwhyneitherofthemseemedtohaveknownwe’dall
beencurleduptogetherearlierinthenight?
“Whatthemistdidwasn’tpersonal,andyoursusceptibility
wasn’tyourfault.Ishould’vebeenmoreaware.Ishould’veexpectedsomething
likethatcouldhappen.”
“Itsoundslikeyouhadyourhandsfull.”
“That’snoexcuse.Ishould’vecontrolledthesituation
better.”
Ilookedathimagainovermyshoulder,catchingaglimpse
ofhishardjaw.“Compulsionsaside,youcan’tcontroleverything.”
“Sayswho?”
“Saysme.”
Asmirkappeared.“Well,youhavemethere.Ican’tcontrol
you.IfIcould,Isuspectlifewouldbeeasier,butIdon’tevenwanttotry,
tobehonest.Youkeepthings…intriguing.”
Himandthatdamnword.Lipscurving,Iturnedbackaround.
“Princess?”
“What?”
“Isawthat.Thatlittlegrin.”Heleanedin,dippinghis
chinagainstthesideofmyneck.“Whyaretheretimesyoustillhideyour
smilesfromme?”Hischestrosewithaheavybreathashesatback.“Youhavea
beautifulsmile.Thatandyourlaugh.Andyou…youneverlaughedenoughasitwas,
butwhenyoudid…”
Iclosedmyeyes.
“Whenyoudid,itwaslikethemomentthedamnmistfinally
cleared.Likewhenthefirstraysofsunbreakthroughthecloudsafteraheavy
storm,”hesaidwithoutanounceofembarrassment.“Yourlaughisasbeautiful
asyoursmile,andwhenItoldyouitwaslikehearingsomethingfamiliar?Itwasn’t
alie.”
Lettingoutashakybreath,Iopenedmyeyes.Thegold
leavesglistenedevenmorebrightlynow.“I…Ididn’tknowthatIwasstill
doingthat,anditmakesmewonderifIdidthatbeforeyou.Smilingand
laughterwasn’tbecomingofaMaiden,accordingtotheDuke.”
“Iwanttokillhimagain.”
“AsdoI,”Imurmured.
Wetraveledonforabit,Kieranwasstillfarenoughahead
thatIcouldn’tseemuchofhim.IthoughtaboutwhatI’dseenlastnight,what
Ididactuallyremember.“DoyourememberthenightIsaidthatcreepyrhymein
mysleep?”
“NotsomethingI’mlikelytoforget,”hereplieddryly.
“Myfatherusedtosayittome.”
Casteelstiffenedbehindme.“Comeagain?”
“Notthelastbit—thepartaboutpickingtheflowerand
watchingitbleed,”Itoldhim.“Istilldon’tknowwhosaidthat.Itcould’ve
beentheDukeorsometwistedpartofmyself.Idon’tknow,butthefirst
part—theprettypoppypart.Iforgotthat.Hewouldsaythattome.HowcouldI
forgetthat?”
Hisarmcurledtighter.“Idon’tknow,butbadmemoriesalways
seemtohaveawayofbeingrememberedoverthegood.”
Wasn’tthatthetruth?
“Didyoudreamofyourfather?”
“Idid.Irememberedfindinghimthatnight.Atleast,I
thinkIdid.”Mybrowcreased.“No,I’msurethatwasreal.Iwaslookingfor
him.That’showmymotherfoundme.HeusedtocallherCora.”Thatwasanother
thingI’dforgotten.
“Wasthatnothername?”
“HernamewasCoralena.”
“That’sabeautifulname,”hesaid,anditwas.“Whatwas
yourfather’s?”
“Youdon’tknowthat?”
“No.IonlyknewthatyournamewasPenellapheatfirst,and
ittookadamnlongtimetodiscoveryouhadabrother.AndthatwashowI
learnedyourlastname,”hetoldme.“Tobehonest,Ididn’tlookintoyour
parents.Ididn’tthinktherewasareasonto.”
“Ifyoudid,Idoubtitwould’vegivenyouanyindication
thatIwas…half-Atlantian.”Itstillsoundedstrangetosaythat.“Hisnamewas
Leopold,butmymothercalledhimLeoor…orLion.”
“Lion,”herepeated.“Ilikethat.ItfitsthataLionwould
havesuchafiercedaughter.”
Ismiledthen,andIonlyknewthatCasteelhadseenit
becausehepressedhislipstothecornerofmymouth.Itfeltlikeathank
you.
Hisarmsqueezedme.“Butbacktothegodsseemingtolike
you.Nyktosgaveushisblessingbasically.IfthatwasAioslastnight,and
gods,itjustmight’vebeenher,shewoketoensureyoursafety,”hesaid,and
therewasabitofaweinhisvoice.“I’mgoingtorepeatthat,Princess.Agod
wokefromhundredsandhundredsofyearsofsleeptoprotectyou.Thatisnot
somethingthathaseverhappenedbeforeasfarasIknow.”
Mypulseskittered.“Thenwhywouldithappennow?Whywould
theystepinforme?”Assoonasthatquestionleftme,DuchessTeerman’swords
camebacktome.YouareChosen.Lies.DuchessTeermanhadonlyspoken
lies.“Imean,I’mnotspecial.”
“I’mgoingtohavetodisagreewiththeideathatyou’renot
special.Youaretome,andyouaretotheKingdomsofAtlantiaandSolis,”
Casteelsaid.“Together,wecanchangethenowandthefuture.That’snotthe
onlyreasonyou’respecial,butthatcouldbewhyyou’vecaughtthesleeping
eyesofthegods.”Hetookmylefthandinhis.Ourmarkedpalmsmet,andthere
wasthatstrangejoltofenergy.“Thegodsfavoryou.Eitherway,thisisgoodnews,
Poppy.”
Ithreadedmyfingersthroughhis.“Ifthegodsacceptme,
howcanyourparentsnot?Howcanyour—”Icaughtmyself.“Howcanourpeople
not?”
“Exactly.”Hekissedmycheek.
Andforthefirsttimesinceallofthisstarted,hope
sparked.Realhopethatgainingtheacceptanceofhisparents,ofthepeople,
wouldbepossible.ThattheywouldstandbesideusnowwhenwereturnedtoSolis
tofreehisbrotherandtogainterritory.Thattheywouldstandbesideusafterward,
whenwereturned.AndifonedayIbecamemorethanaPrincess.
Alightnessfilledme,awarmththatmadeitimpossiblefor
thatcoldnesstoreturn.
Werodeonthen,eventuallycatchinguptoKieran,andit
wasn’ttoolongbeforethesun-dappledgold-leaftreesgavewaytolushgreen.
Iknewthenthatwe’dpassedthemountainandweweretrulyattheedgeofthe
actualKingdomofAtlantia.
GoldRockwasexactlyasIexpected.Alarge,roundboulder
thatshimmeredgoldinthesunlight.
Jasperandtwoothergroupswerealreadythere.Quentyn
beganwavingthemomenthesawus.
“Gladtoseeyoumadeit,”Emilsaid,bowingfromwherehe
stoodbyhishorse.“Andyou.”
Thelastpartwasdirectedtowardme,andIrecalled
Casteel’sjealousy.Istoppedmygrinthen.
“Whataboutme?”Kieranasked,dismounting.
“ShouldIlieandtellyouIamthrilled?”theAtlantianreplied,
ahintofagrinonhisface.
“Itwouldmakemefeellikemylife’scomplete,Emil.”
“NaillandDelanohaven’tarrivedyet?”Casteelaskedashe
droppeddown.Hereachedformeashesaid,“Ifiguredthey’dbeatallofus.”
“Theyhaven’tarrivedyet,”Jasperanswered,lookingtired
asheleanedagainsttherock.“Ithoughtyouwould’vebeatushere.”
“Yeah?”
Jaspernoddedashecoveredayawnwiththebackofhis
hand.“Icannotwaittobecomereacquaintedwithmybed,”hesaidwithasigh
asIstartedtounhookthebuttonsofmycloak.“Anyway,Ihopethenightwas
lesseventfulforyouall.”
“Nothingofinteresthappenedwithus,”Casteelsaid,
meetingmygazeashebrushedmyhandsaside.Hebeganworkingthetinybuttons,
andawealthofgratituderose.Notforhimunbuttoningmycloakbutfornot
mentioningwhathappened.“Whataboutyouall?”
“Weirddreams,”Jaspermutteredashewatchedus—watchedme.
“Asifthat’sall,”Emilcommentedasherolledupthe
sleevesofhistunic.“I’massumingyouguysfeltthatlastnight—theshaking
oftheentiremountain.”
Casteelnoddedbutdidn’telaborate.IfeltJasper’s
attentionfocusedonus—allthewolventhatwerepresent,actually—asCasteel
foldedmycloakandplaceditinoneofthesaddlebags.Therestofourgroup
arrived.Noneofthemlookedlikethey’dsleptwell,anditwasstrangetosee
Beckettinhismortalformandsosubduedasweeventuallycontinuedon.
Thepatchygrassgavewaytorollinghillsthatwerealush,
vibrantgreen,anditwasn’ttoolongbeforeIwishedIhadchangedintothe
sleevelesstunic.
Liftingahand,Iwipedafinesheenofsweatfrommy
forehead.“Isitwarmlikethisalways?I’mnotcomplainingifitis.”
“It’swarmhere,nearthesea,”Casteelanswered,andIlooked
around,wonderingwhatbodyofwaterhespokeof.“Butfartherinland,whenyou
neartheMountainsofNyktos,you’llseemoreseasonalchangesandcolder
temperatures.”
IstartedtoaskwherethisseawaswhenIsawthem.
Graceful,gleamingwhitestonecolumnsthatstretchedsofar
intotheskythatiftherehadbeenclouds,theywould’vereachedbeyondthem.
Atumblingmotioninmychesttookmybreath.
“ThePillarsofAtlantia?”Iwhispered.
“Yes.”Casteel’svoicewassoftinmyear.
Asenseofwonderwashedthroughme,onethatrandeeper
thancuriosityaswedrewcloser.Icouldseeshadowygroovesinthem,markings
inalanguageI’dneverseenbefore.ThePillarsweremorethanjustmarkersor
eventherestingplaceofTheonandLailah.Theywereconnectedtoawallof
thesamestone,whatappearedtobelimestoneandmarble.Itwasashighasany
RiseandcontinuedonfartherthanIcouldsee.Wecrestedthehill,andIsaw
betweenthetwopillars,seeingwhatawaited.Tinybumpsroseallovermyskin
asahumseemedtovibrateinmybloodinalong-forgottenhymn.
Casteel’schingrazedthesideofmyneck,followedbyhis
lips.“Welcomehome,Princess.”RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter44
Home
Wasthiswhatthevoicehadmeantlastnight?Wasthistruly
home?
IwantedittobemorethanIeverrealized.
WepassedthroughthePillars,myheartthunderingasI
soakedinthesightsbeforemewithdisbelievingeyes.
ThefirstthingInoticedwerethepeoplealongthewalls,
justinsidethePillars.HowcouldInotseethem?Therewereatleastahundred,
dressedinblack,sleevelesstunicsandpants.Swordswithgoldhandleswere
fittedtotheirsides.Crossbowsliketheonedamagedinthefightwiththe
DeadBonesClanwerestrappedtotheirbacks.ThemomenttheysawCasteel,
recognizedhim,theybowed,oneafteranotherinawave,butitwasthosewho
stoodontheledgesabovethatdrewmyattention.
Women
ThereweremoreGuardians.Theydroppedtoonekneein
succession,placingtheirfistsovertheirheart.
Iknewmyeyeswerewide.IknewIwasstaring,butallof
themwerestaring,too—themenbelowandthewomenabove—atus.Isuddenly
wishedthatIstillworemycloak,evenwithhowwarmtheairwashere.Orthat
myhairwasfree.MaybethenIwouldn’tfeelsoexposed,myscarsclearlydisplayed
tothesestrangers’eyes.
StrangersI…Iwantedtobeacceptedby
Ilookedforward,andthenIwasn’tthinkingofthescarsor
beingaccepted.
Leafygreentreeslinedthewideroad,onesmootherthanany
IknewofinSolis.Itwasmadeofsomekindofdarkstonethatseemedfused
together.Thetreesspreadoutintodensethicketsofalushforest,andahead…
Acitysprawledahead,dippingandflowingwiththevalleys
andhills—acitytwicethesizeofCarsodonia.Whiteandsand-coloredstructures
gleamedunderthesun,arcinggracefullywiththelandscape,somesquareand
otherscircular.Somerosehigh,stretchingintosleektowers,whileotherswere
buildingsaswideastheyweretall,andsomeremainedclosertotheground.
TheyremindedmeoftheTemplesinSolis,buttheyweren’tfashionedtomirror
thenightbuttoreflectthesun—toworshipit.Theroofofeverybuildingthat
Icouldseewasgreen.Treesrosefromthem,vinessweptdowntheirsides,and
burstsofcolorcamefromallsides.
UnlikethecapitalofSolis,wherethecitywasstoneand
dirt,flashesofgreensurroundedbuildings.JustasithadbeeninSpessa’s
End,nobuildingappearedstackedontopofoneanother,crowdedtothepoint
wheretheycouldbarelyfit.AtleastnotfromwhatIcouldgatherfromthis
distance.
Beyondthecity,wherespecksofwhitegrazedinopen
pastures,pasttheheavilywoodedareathatfollowed,wasamountainthatdid
disappearintotheclouds.Andinthefaceofthatmountainwereelevenstatues
thathadtobeastallastheAtheneuminMasadonia.Eachoneheldalittorch
fromtheiroutstretchedarm,theflamesburningasbrightlyasthesettingsun.
Thesewerethegods—allofthem—watchingoverthecityor
standingguard.
Icouldn’tevenbegintofigureouthowthosestatueswere
builttothatsize,raisedontothemountain.Orevenhowthosetorcheswere
lit—howtheyremainedlit.
“Saion’sCoveisbeautiful,isn’tit?”Casteeldidn’tneed
toask.ItwasthemostbeautifulcityI’deverseen,andIcouldimaginewhat
thecapitallookedlike.“Youcan’tseetheseafromhere,butit’sbeyondthe
trees,toourright.”
ThoughtsofwarmsandandsaltyairtuggedatmyheartasI
followedhisgaze.Isawthetopsofcolumnsthroughthetrees.“Whatisin
there?”
“TheChambersofNyktos,”heanswered.“YoucanseetheSeas
ofSaionfromthere,andtheIslesofBele,”headded.“And,yes,theGoddess
oftheHuntslumbersthere.
“Ihavesomanyquestions.”
“Thereisnotasinglepersonsurprisedtohearthat,”
Kieranremarked.
Delanolaughedasheturnedhisheadtothesky,baskingin
thesun.
Abelltolled,startlingme.Leavesrattledasaflockof
birdstookflightfromthenearbytrees,theirfeathersavividgreenandblue.
Thebelltolledfivemoretimes.
Itensed.“Issomethinghappening?”Ilookedaround,andno
oneappearedconcerned.Ionlyeverheardabellringwhentherewasanattack
orsomethingafoot.
Jaspersmiledatme.“Itisonlytellingthetime.It’ssix
intheevening,”heexplained.“It’llringeveryhouruntilmidnightandthen
resumeateight.”
“Oh.”Thatwasclever.Ahead,Inoticedsomeoneonhorseback
ridingtowardus
CasteelslowedthehorseasJaspersaid,“Herecomesthe
welcomingpartyofone.”
“Whoisit?”Iasked.
“Alastir,”hetoldme.“Hemust’vebeenwaitingforus.”
TheadvisortotheKingandQueenarrivedwithinafew
minutes,asmilesofteningthedeepscarinhisforehead.
“YoucannotbelievehowrelievedIamtoseeyou.Allof
you,”Alastirsaid,andthestrangestthinghappened.
Ashiveryfeelingoficyfingersdancedacrossthebackof
myneck.Gods,hesoundedsomuchlikeVikter,but—
“YoumusttellmewhatbecameofSpessa’sEnd.”Alastirdrew
hishorseuptoourside,claspingCasteel’shand.“ButImustwarnyou.”His
voicedroppedlow.“Yourfatherandmotherarehere,andyourarrivalwas
spotted.Theyknowyou’vecomehome.”
Mystomachfellbeyondmyfeet.Ihadn’tplannedonmeeting
hisparentsthisquickly.Theyweresupposedtobeinthecapital.”
Casteelwasoflikemind.“Whataretheydoinghere?”
“Theycameassoonastheylearnedofthetroublein
Spessa’sEnd.Yourdamnfatherwasabouttocrossthemountain.Iassuredhim
thatourforceswouldmakeit…”Hetrailedoffashecaughtsightofthering
onCasteel’slefthand.HeturnedCasteel’spalmupward.Hisskinblanched.
“Youdidit.”Hetwistedinhissaddle,lookingtowardmylefthand.Hisgaze
metmine.“Youactuallydidit.”
“Wedid,”Casteelsaid.“Justlikewetoldyou.”
“Youmissedit,”JasperchimedinasIpickeduponthedisbelief
andconcernradiatingfromAlastir.Whichwasn’tsurprising.He’dwantedusto
waituntilCasteelspokewithhisparents.“Dayturnedtonightattheendof
theceremony.Nyktosgavehisapproval.”
Alastirblinkedasifhehadn’texpectedthat.“Well,that
is…thatisgoodnews.PerhapsthatwillbeofaidwhentheKingandQueenare
madeaware,butIneedtospeakwithyouCasteel,inprivate.”
“Whateveryouneedtosaytome,youcansayinfrontofmywife,”
Casteelreplied,andmyalreadyunstablestomachflipped.
Wife
Whywasthatsuchashocktohear?Itwasapleasant
surprise,though.
“ThisisaconversationregardingthekingdomandImeanno
offense,butsheisnotapartoftheCrownyet,”Alastirreplied.“Norprivy
tosuchinformation.”
Casteelstiffenedbehindme,andIknewhewasabouttopush
back,andthelastthingIwantedwashimtobestandingherearguingwith
AlastiraboutwhatIwasprivytowhenhisparentsarrived.
“It’sokay.Nooffensetaken,”Isaid,tappinghisarm.“I
wouldliketostretchmylegsabitanyway.”
Casteelwasn’tatallhappyaboutthat,butBeckettoffered,
“IcanshowhertheChambersofNyktos.It’snotveryfarfromhere,”hesaid.
“Thatis,ifyou’dlike.”
“Iwouldlikethat,”Ireadilyagreed,latchingontothe
offerasifitwerealifeline.“That’swhatIwouldliketodo.”
“Thenthat’swhatyouwilldo,”Casteelreplied.
Myheartwaspumping
sofastasCasteeldismountedandhelpedmegetdownthatIwouldn’thavebeen
surprisedifIfainted.Howembarrassingwouldthatbe?Thefirsttimeto
faint…atthefeetofmyfatherandmother-in-law,theformertheKingwhostill
plannedtousemeasamessage.
Butthatwouldchange.Ithadto.Notjustbecausethegods
favoredme,butbecausewhatCasteelandIsharedwasreal
“Onesecond.”CasteelmotionedatBeckettasQuentynwentto
theyoungwolven’sside.Hedrewmeslightlyawayfromtheothers,underthe
shadeofoneofthenearbytrees.“I’msorryaboutthis,”hesaid.“Ihadno
ideathey’dbehere.IwantedtogiveyousometimebeforeIintroducedyou.
ThatwaswhatIplanned.”
“Iknow,andhonestly,I’mgladthatAlastirwashereto
warnusandthathewantstotalktoyou.Itwillgivemesometimeto…Idon’t
know.”Ifeltmycheeksflush.“Preparemyself.”
“Youdon’tneedtobenervous.”
“Really?”Ireplieddryly.
“I’mtryingtobehelpful.”Ahalf-grinappearedandthen
vanished.“We’vefacedscarierthingsthanparentscaughtoffguard,andwe
willfacefarmorefrighteningthings.Justrememberthatthis,”—hepickedup
mylefthandandturneditover—“isreal,”hesaid,echoingmyearlier
thoughts.“We’rereal.Nomatterwhat.”
Istareddownatthedazzlinggoldswirlonmypalm.“Nomatter
what.”
Curlingafingerundermychin,heliftedmyhead,andhis
lipsfoundmine.Hekissedme,anditwasnoshortpeckonthelips.People
watchedus,butCasteeltookhissweettime,andbythetimeheliftedhis
head,Ifeltfaintforawholedifferentreason.
“Nomatterwhat,”herepeated.
Nodding,IpulledawayfromhimandturnedtowhereBeckett
waited,shiftinghisweightfromonefoottotheother.
“Poppy?”
IturnedbacktoCasteel,andthemomentIsawhim,Ifelt
thebreathItookcatchinmythroat.Thewayhestaredatme,theintensityin
hisfierygoldeneyes,rootedmetothespot.WhatIfeltfromhim…ittasted
likethesmoothestchocolateandthesweetestberries.
Casteel’schestrosewithanunevenbreath.“I’llcomefor
you.”
Iloveyou.
ThatwaswhatIthoughtCasteelwasgoingtosay.Thatwas
whatIfeltfromhim,butthosewordsdidn’tpasshislips
Theyhadn’tpassedmineeither.
WhateverdisappointmentImight’vefeltwasquicklylostto
wonderasBeckettledmethroughthewoods.Thewolvenhadn’tbeenanexcited
chatterbox,andIcouldtellhewasstillwaryofme.Ipickedupthefaint
traceoffearfromhim,andIimaginedhewaschallenginghimselftogetpast
thatbyofferingtotakemetotheChambers.
Thetreeswerefullofthecallsandchirpsofbirds,butas
Becketthadsaid,theChambersweren’tthatfar.Weleftthewoodedareafairly
quickly.
Thestructureroseagainstthedeepblueofthesky,thelimestone
andmarbleaglisteningwhiteinthesun.
Wewalkedthroughashortfieldoftinyblueandyellow
flowers.ThecloserIgot,themoreIrealizedhowlargethetemplestillwas.
ItwasnearlythelengthofCastleTeerman.
“Goodgods,”Isaid,glancingatBeckett.“Thisthingis
huge.”
Henoddedashequicklyglancedatme.“It’soneofthe
largestoftheTempleshere.”
“WhyisitcalledtheChambers?”Iaskedasweclimbedthe
steepsteps,welcomingthedistraction.Vinesscaledthewidesteps,allthe
waytothetopwheretheywrappedaroundthecolumns.
“It’sbecausetherearetombsunderneath.”
Istoppednearthetopandlookedathim.“Seriously?”
Anervousgigglelefthim.“Yeah.Theentrancetothemison
theside.It’swheresomeoftheancientoneshavebeenburied—thedeities,I
mean.”
“Sorry.Graveyardsandtombskindofweirdmeout,”Iadmitted
asIstartedwalkingagain.
“Same.”Aquicksmileappeared.“Especiallythese.You
feel…Idon’tknow,likethosewhoareentombedarewatchingyou.”
Awarm,saltybreezereachedusaswecametothetop.I
didn’tknowwheretolookfirst.Pebblesandmuchlargerrockswerescattered
acrosstheAtlantianCrestthathadbeenengravedintothestonefloors.
Statuesofthegodsstoodbetweenthecolumns,eachonewith
onearmoutstretched.Nyktoswasthetallestofthemall,andhestoodinthe
verycenteroftheTemple,thetoesofhisfeetbrushingtheAtlantianCrest.All
weresculptedsoitappearedthesunrosebehindthem,andtheyheldtorchesin
theirstonehands,emptyofflames,oflife.
Tearingmygazefromthem,Iwalkedtooneside.Thebeauty
ofwhatIsawwasstunning.I’dneverseenwatersoclear.Brightblue,green,
andevenredcoralwasclearlyvisibleunderneath.Fartherout,wherethewater
deepened,itwasashadeasblueastheskyabove.Iknewtherewereother
thingstosee,likethetreesofAiosthatwerevisiblefromtheChambers,but
Icouldn’ttearmygazefromthesea.ThenextbreathItookwassteadyand
calmingasifIhadn’ttakenabreathasdeepasthisonein,well,forever.I
blinked,realizingthereweretearsinmyeyes.Normally,Iwouldn’tgetchoked
upbyseeingabodyofwater,butit…itfeltlikehome
“Thankyouforhealingmylegs,”Beckettsaid,startlingme.
Asterribleasitwas,I’dforgottenthathewasthere.“IknowIsaidthat
before,butI,uh,Ijustwantedtosayitagain.Youhavenoideawhatyoudid
forme.”
IttookmeamomentbeforeItrustedmyselftospeak.The
poorkidwasalreadyuncomfortablearoundme.Hedidn’tneedmetostartsobbing
alloverhim.“Youdidn’tneedtothankmebefore,andyoudon’tneedtodoit
now.”Itouchedthewarmstoneofacolumn.“I’mgladIcouldhelp.”
Offinthedistance,IcouldmakeouttheIslesofBele.
Theyappearedlarge,asiftheycouldhousetwoorthreetownsthesizeof
Spessa’sEnd.Therewassomethingatthehighestpeakofthecenterisland.A
Temple?IstartedtoaskBeckettwhatitwaswhenIrealizedthathehadn’t
respondedtome.
Pullingmygazefromthesparklingwaters,Iturned,and
everymuscleinmybodyimmediatelylockedup.Beckettwasgone.
ButIwasn’talone.
SeveralpeoplestoodbythestatueofNyktos.Mostlymen,
butafewwomen.Therewereatleastadozen,amixofAtlantianandmortal.
Notasinglewolvenamongthem.Buttheywerealldressedthesame,wearing
loosewhitepantsandtighter,sleevelessshirts.Theirarmswereadornedwith
goldenbandssimilartothoseI’dseenontheGuardiansinSpessa’sEnd.Their
attire,thewaytheystaredatme,remindedmeofthePriestsandPriestesses
inSolis.
ExceptthePriestsandPriestessesdidn’tcarryweapons.All
ofthemworeagolden,narrow,longdaggerstrappedacrosstheirchests.
Goosebumpspimpledmyskin.Irecognizednoneofthem,butI
knewwhattheywerefeeling.Angersurgedfromthem,thickeningtheair,andit
mixedwithmystingingdisbeliefaswhatwashappeningbegantosinkin.
Instinctflaredtolife
“Youshouldn’tbehere,”anAtlantiansaid,takingastep
forward.“Youshould’venevercrossedtheSkotosMountains.Yourmerepresence
isataint,Maiden.”
ThesepeopleknewexactlywhoIwas.
Iquicklyglancedat
theexit—theonlyexit.Theyblockedit,andtheiranger—theirhatred—itkept
stretchingouttowardme,coatingmyskinlikeatoo-coarseblanket,filling
thebackofmythroatwithhotacid.Iseveredtheconnection,picturingeach
cordbeingsnippedawayuntiltherewasnothinginsidemebutmypounding
heart.OnceIlockedthemout,IscannedtheTempleagain,thistimelooking
foranysignoftheyoungwolven.Therewasnone,andeverythinginsidemeknew
whathadbeendone,evenifIdidn’tunderstandwhy.He’dbeensohappywhenI
firstmethim.I’dhealedhim.Nootherwolvenhadbeenunkindtowardme.
Buthe…hehadledmehere.He’dofferedtobringmehere,
andthenhe’dleftme.
LeftmetothosewhoI’dneverseenormetbeforebutwho
hatedmenonetheless
Buttheydidnotchooseyou.
Myskinflushedhot
andthencold.Ithadbeenatrap.Oneofopportunityorsomethingplanned,Ihad
noidea.AndIdidn’tknowhowthishadbeenorchestrated—ifthesepeoplehadbeen
waitingorforhowlong.Butitdidn’tchangewhatthiswas.Thebetrayal,the
disappointment,andthebone-deephurtsankitsrazor-sharpclawsintome.I
staredatthenamelessfaces,feelingasifmychesthadcrackedopen.
Ithadbeensosillyofmetowantthesepeopletoaccept
me.Andsoincrediblynaiveformetotakethatflickerofhopeandholdonto
it.Iwantedtoscream.Iwantedto…gods,Iwantedtocry.AndIwantedto
rage.
ButIcouldn’t.
Ineededtostaycalm.Thiswasatrap,buttheyknewwhoI
was,andthatmeanttheyalsohadtoknowthatIwasCasteel’swife.Theycouldn’t
seriouslythinktoharmme.Ineededtodeescalatethesituationsomehow.The
mortalswouldn’tbeaproblem.TheAtlantiansstandingbeforethemcouldbecome
one,however
Still,Iloweredmyrighthandtowheremysweaterhidthe
wolvendagger.“I’msorry.Ididn’tknowthisareawasforbidden,andIdon’t
knowwhatyou’veheardaboutme,butIamnotanAscended,andIneverchoseto
betheMaiden.Ifoughtagainstthemat—”
“You’resomethingworse,”awomaninterrupted,andI
realizedsheheldsomethinginherclosedfist.“Weknowwhatyoureallyare.
WeknowhowyoumanagedtogainthePrince’strust,empath.Soul
Eater.”
Apricklywaveofdreadskatedovermyskin.Noneofthese
peoplehadbeeninSpessa’sEndoratNewHaven.HadAlastirtoldsomeone?I
doubtedthatKieranwouldhaveduringhisbriefreturn.Atthemoment,noneof
thatmattered.WhatdidwasthatwhatAlastirhadsaidwasright.SowasCasteel,
eventhoughhehadn’twantedtosayit.AndIalreadysuspectedasmuch.
BecauseofwhoIwasandwhoIwasn’t,theywouldn’tacceptme,andtheyfeared
me.
Andthatfearfedtheirhatred.Thatwasthemostdangerous
ofall.“Iamnotthateither,”Isaid,watchingthewoman’shand—theirhands.
Amanheldsomething,too.“Icannotfeedoffemotionalenergyorheighten
fear.Ididn’tevenknowwhatIwasuntil—”
“Closeyourmouth,whore,”theAtlantianspat.
Iblinked,shockedintosilencebytheslur.
“Youspeakoutofbothsidesofyourmouth,”hecontinued.
“Yourliesmayhaveworkedontheothers,buttheywillnotworkonus.”
“Youwillnotfindwhatyouseekhere,”awomansaid,andI
immediatelythoughtofthevoiceI’dheardlastnight.“Youwillnotdestroy
Atlantiafromwithin.YoumayhavewarpedthePrince’smind,butyouwillnot
succeedwithus.”
“Ihaven’tdoneanythingtohim.”Myfingerscurledunderthe
hemofmysweater.
“Otherthanattempttokillhim?”anotherchallengedasthe
cloudsformedaboveus.
Well,thatwashardtodefend,andalsosomethingnoneof
themshould’veknown
“OrledanarmyofAscendedtothewallsofSpessa’sEnd?”
anotherclaimed,andthatwasalsohardtodefend.“Peopledied,didn’tthey?”
Peoplehad.
“TheAscendeddisguisedyouasaMaiden.Sendingyourightinto
theheartofAtlantia,”theAtlantianmansaid,theonewhohadspokenfirst.
“WewillnotletyoudestroyAtlantia.Wewillnotallowyoutodestroyusall,
whoreoftheAscended.”
“Youhavenoideawhatyou’retalkingabout.”Ifoughtmy
angerandwaslosing.Iwastoodamn…hurt,andIrefusedtostandhere
andlistentothemaccusemeofworkingwiththeAscended.IhadkilledcountlesspeopletodefendSpessa’sEnd.Ihadbeenpreparedtoendmyownlife
toprotectthattown.“IspeaknothingbutthetruthwhenIsayIamsorryforall
thatyoumayhavesufferedatthehandsoftheAscended.Icanevenunderstand
yourdistrustanddislikeofme,butifoneofyoucallsmeawhoreonemoretime,
youwillregretit.”
“BecauseofthePrince?”TheAtlantiansneered.“Doyou
thinkwe’renotwillingtodietoprotectourkingdomfromevenhim?ThePrince
isalreadylosttous,justasMalikwas.”
“YourPrinceisnotlosttoyou.”Myfingersbrushedthe
sheathofthedaggerasthesunhidbehindadarkcloud.“Andit’snotmyhusband
youhavetoworryabout.It’sme.”
FocusedontheAtlantian,I’dforgottenaboutthewoman—about
whatsheheld.Ididn’tevenseeherliftherarm.Itwassuchastupidmisstep
onmypart.Vikterwouldbesodisappointed.
Painexploded,stunningme.Igasped,clutchingmythrobbing
shoulderasIlookeddown.
Arock.
She’dthrownarock
Ialmostlaughed,onlybecauseshecould’vethrownsomething
worse.Likethedaggerstrappedtoherchest.Anythingmoredangerousthanarock
“Thathurt,”Ibitoutasthecloudsdarkened,becomingfat
andheavy.Thescentofrainfilledtheair,andinthedistance,thewarning
ofthunderrumbled.“Butseriously?Arock?”
“Youthinkwefearyou?”theAtlantianmalesaid,
withdrawinghisdagger.“You’renotathreatwhenyoucan’ttouchus.Weknow
howSoulEatersfeed.Weknowhowyousenseemotion.Youmustcomeintocontact
withflesh.”
Thatwasnothowthatworked.“Thereappearstobealotof
thingsyouhavenounderstandingof.”Iunsheathedthedagger.Tohellwithmaking
thesituationworse.“Iamnotyourenemy,butyou’requicklybecomingmine.”
“Butyou’renotanythingbutascarredwhoreforthe
Ascended,”thewomanrepliedcalmlyasthunderclapped,closernow.
BeforeIcouldevenquestionhowIcouldbeboththeMaiden
andawhore,anewpaineruptedalongthesideofmyhead,sosuddenandshocking
thatIdroppedthedaggerasIstaggeredback.Iquicklyrealizedthatthe
stoningwasonlymeanttoincapacitatemesotheycouldgetcloser.Another
rockhitmeinthestomach,thenmyleg,myarms—
Astreakoflightninglittheskyoverthesea.Thunder
boomed,echoingthroughthecolumnsoftheTempleassuddenagonylancedmy
browwhenarockconnectedwithmyforeheadandthescarredskinthere,so
sharpandstartlingthatitsentmetomyknees.Myholdonmysensesloosened
andthenshattered.Itwaslikeacrevicecrackedwideopeninmeaswetwarmth
trickleddownmytemple.
Ascendedtrash.SoulEater.Whore.Wordsfellintime
withtheirrocks,butitwaswhatIfeltfromthemthatlandedheavierblows.
“Enough,”Iwhispered.
TheirangerandhatredbeatatmeasIlookeddown,seeing
mybloodfallingagainstthestone.Icouldn’tbreathe.Theirrawemotionswere
anendlessrollingtide,andunderneathitwasahum,awhirringfromthevery
coreofme.Myskinvibrated.Justlikeithadwhenthesoldierssurrounded
CasteelandIbeforethewolvenhadarrived.
Somethingredsplashedontheground,taintingthepearly
stone.Moreblood.Anotherdropjoinedit,seepingintothecracks.Themarble
trembledundermyfeetasrootsappearedinthestone,thinasfragileveins,
theycreptoutfromthecrack.Iblinkedastingfrommyeyes,andtheroots
disappeared.Anothersplashofcrimsonfellandanother,thisonefartherfrom
whereIstood.
Itwasblood.
Butitwasn’tmine.
Itfellfromabove.
Theskiesbled.RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEChapter45
Dizzy,Iliftedmyheadtoseebloodfallinglikerainfrom
thecrimson-huedcloudthatstretchedovertheTempleandthecove.
ItspatteredthepristinewhiteoftheTemplefloor,dampening
myclothingandturningthewhiteclothingofthosewhostoodbeforemepink.It
seemedtostunthemastheycasttheirgazestothesky.
“Tearsofanangrygod,”someonewhispered.
Mygazeshiftedto
theblurofunfamiliarfaces.
“Itisanomen,”theAtlantianwhohadunsheathedhisdagger
announced.“They’reshowingusthattheyknowwhatmustbedoneandwhatwe
willface.”
“Enough,”Isaidagain.
“ForAtlantia,”awomansaid.Shewascloser.Amortalwith
Atlantianbloodandcrimsonstreakingherface.AnAtlantianstoodbesideher,
hislipspeeledbacktoexposehisfangsandthehatredinhissnarlreminded
meofaCraven.OfanAscended.
“Frombloodandash.”TheAtlantianraisedthedagger.“We
willriseagain,mybrothersandsisters.”
Thehuminmybloodgrew,thebuzzinmyskinintensified,
strongerthanwhatI’dfeltbefore,andthatancientsenseofknowledgerose
deepfrommypain.ThecordsIcouldseesoclearlyrippledoutfromme,connecting
metoeachandeveryoneofthem.Itgatheredalltheirburninghatredand
scorchingloathing,theiracidicbitternessandthirstforvengeanceafter
years,decades,centuriesofpaininflicteduponthem.AndItookit.
Itookitallinsideme,lettingitpourintoeveryvein,
everycelluntilitchokedme,untilItastedtheblood,untilIdrownedinit.
UntilItasteddeath,anditwassweet.
“Enough!”Iscreamedastheconnectiontothem—toallof
them—crackledwithenergy.Thecordsthathadalwaysbeeninvisible,litupin
silver,becomingvisibletonotonlymyeyesbuttheirs.
“Youreyes,”theAtlantianwiththedaggergasped,
staggeringback.
Moonlightglowspilledoutofme,seepingoverthestoneand
ripplingintothechargedairasIstood.Thunderrolledendlessly,shakingthe
Templeandthenearbytrees.
“Deargods,”theAtlantianwhispered,hisdaggerslipping
fromhisfingerstofallsoundlesslytothetile.“Forgiveus.”
Toolate.
ThecordsconnectingmetoallofthemcontractedasIthrew
outmyarms.Allthehate,theloathing,thebitternessandvengeance
intensified,tripled,andtheneruptedfromme,travelingthrougheachofthose
cords,findingtheirwaybackhome.
Lightningstreakedoverheadlikeathousandscreamsasthe
group’srancidemotionschokedthem.
Hairblewbackfromfaces.Clothingpulledtautagainst
bodies.Feetslidoverstone,andtheywentdown,oneafteranotherafter
anotherasiftheywerenothingmorethanfragilesaplingscaughtina
windstorm.
Iwatchedastheirvilenesscontinuedfeedingbacktothem.
Iwatchedastheyclutchedattheirheads,writhingand
spasming,screamingandshriekinguntilthebonesintheirthroats
cavedinundertheircontempt.
Andthen…nothing.
Silenceinandoutsideofme.Iwasemptyagain—nohatred,
noanger,nopain.Emptyandcold.
Isuckedinair,staggeringasthesilvercordsconnectedto
themsparkedandfizzledout.Theraineasedandthenstopped,formingpinkish
puddlesacrossthefloor.
Thoseonthestonedidn’tmove,theydidn’tthrashand
squirm.Red.Therewassomuchredaroundthemthatraninrivuletstothe
puddles,deepeningthepinkishhue.Theylaystill,theirbodiestwistedand
contortedasiftheyhadbeenthrownaboutbythegodsthemselves.Eyeswide
andmouthshangingopen,handsclenchedtightlyaroundrocksortheircrushed
throats.
Ifeltnothingfromthem.
Thebellstolledagain,thistimerapidlywithnopauses
betweenthegongs,andtheTempleshuddered.Stonecrackedbehindme.Thescent
ofbloodandrichsoilspilledintotheair.Ashadowfelloverme,stretched
acrossthefloorlikehundredsofbarebonefingers.
Slowly,Iturnedaround,andmygazecrawledupthick,
glisteningbarkandacrossthebarelimbsofamassivetree.Tinygoldenbuds
formedalloverandblossomed,thousandsunfurlingtorevealblood-redleaves.
ABloodForesttreestood,rootedwheremybloodhadfirst
fallen.
Movementsnaggedmygaze.Myheadjerkedtotheleft,and
whateverbreathImanagedtogetintomylungsfled.
Theyweresleekshadowsprowlingupthewidesteps,
hesitatingthere,surveyingthebodiesonthestonefloor.
Headsturnedtooneanother.Pairsofkeen,frostedeyes
liftedtowhereIstoodbeforethebloodtree,breathingheavily.Itensed.
Behindthem,largeronespressedforward.Two.Three.Four.
Somanymore.Thereweredozens.Maybeevenahundred.Perhapsmore.
Eachonegreaterthantheonebeforethem,theirfurglossyinthesunlightas
thecloudsoverheadscattered,theireyesanincandescentblueI’dneverseen
before.Theirearsperkedandnostrilstwitchedastheyscentedtheair—the
blood.
Astheyscentedme
IrecognizedtheshockofDelano’swhitefurandthenmy
hearttwistedasIsawKieran,hisunnaturallybrighteyesfixedonme,onthe
silverylightthatstillglowedaroundme.
Clawsclickedonstoneastheycameforward,steppingover
thefallen,headsdownlow,slowlymovingaroundme,circlingme,makingroom…
Goodgods.
Thecolorofsteel,thewolvenwasdoublethesizeofany
I’dseen,nearlyastallasme.Maybeeventaller,anditstalkedforward,paws
thesizeoftwoofmyhands.
ItwasJasper.DuringthebattleatSpessa’sEnd,Ihadn’t
realizedhowlargehewas.
Thesilverwolvenstoppedinfrontofme,meetingmy
wide-eyedstarewiththoseunnerving,glowingeyes,andIknewifIranor
reachedforthefallendaggertoprotectmyself,Iwouldn’tmakeitaninch.
AshiverysenseofawarenessdrewmygazefromJasper,from
thewolven,andbeyondthestatueofNyktos.
Casteelcameupthesteps,hisdarkhairwetandwindblown
asifhe’drunfasterthanthewindcouldtravel.Fainttracesofredstreaked
hisfaceashestalkedforward,featuresstarkandchindippedlow.
Itstruckmethen,sortofdumbly,thatCasteellookedlike
somekindofgodstandingthere.Inblack,withhisswordsstrappedtohis
sides,andthenearbrutalhardnessthathadsettledintothestrikingplanes
andanglesofhisfeatures,heremindedmeofthegodTheon.
JasperturnedtothePrince.Theotherwolvenstopped
circlingme.Casteel’schestroseandfellheavilyashesteppedaroundabody,
stoppingonlywhenJasperletoutalowrumbleofwarning.
Hedrewupshort,takinginme,thewolven,thebodies,and
thelittorches.Hiseyeswidenedafractionassomethingakintounderstanding
flickeredacrosshisface.
“Mygods,”heuttered.Goldeneyesmetandheldmineas
Casteelcrossedhisarms,withdrawinghisswords.
Airlodgedinmythroataspressureclampeddownonmychest,
squeezingmyheart.
Casteelhadn’tarrivedalone.
Otherswereclimbingthesteps.Naill.Emil.Alastir.
Familiarfaces.Namelessones.Mysensesflickeredtolifeinme,
sensing…sensingfearandaweandsomanydifferentemotionsthatIwasafraid
itwouldalloverwhelmmeagain,andIwould…
Ididn’tevenknowwhatI’ddone.
Growlsrumbledfromtheotherwolvenastwomorecrestedthe
topofthestairs,followedbyseveraldressedastheonessprawledacrossthe
ground,theirgoldenswordsdrawn.Ishouldbeconcernedbythem,butitwas
thetwowhohadenteredbeforethemthatcapturedmyattention.
Atall,blondman,
broadofshoulderanddressedinawhitetunicstainedfromthebloodrain,
whosecutjaw,straightnose,andhighcheekboneswerepainfullyfamiliar.He
drewupshort,hishandgoingtotheswordathisside.
“Impossible,”breathedthewomanwhostoodbesidehim,her
hairaglossyonyxtuckedbackinalooseknotatthenapeofherneck.The
shapeofhereyesandhermouthwasalsofamiliar,andshewasbeautiful,
absolutelyasbreathtakingasthedisbeliefthatpouredfromher.
Evenifitweren’tforthesimilarities,thecrownsof
twisted,bleachedbonewould’vetoldmewhotheywere.
QueenEloana’shandpressedtothebodiceofhersimple,
sleevelesslavendergown—agownstainedbytherainthathadfallen.“Hawke…”
Thesilveryglowaroundmepulledbackandfaded,seeping
intomyskinasmyentirebodyshuddered.
“Whathaveyoudone?”sheasked,hereyesasvibrantasher
son’sasshesteppedforward.“Whathaveyoubroughtback?”
“It’snottoolate,”Alastirspoke,startlingme.“It’snot,
Eloana—”
“Yes.”Hergazesweptbacktome,towherethewolven
surroundedmeandthentoherson.
MygazeswiveledbacktoCasteel.Hestoodrightthere,no
morethanadozenfeetorsofromme,butitseemedlikeanimpossible
distance,animpassiblegulf
Hestoodrightthere.
Hawke.
Casteel.
ThePrinceofAtlantia.
TheDarkOne.
Myhusband.
Myheartmate
Casteelloweredtooneknee,crossingtheswordsoverhis
chestashebowedhisheadbetweentheveeofthedeadlysharpblades.A
stutteredheartbeatpassed,andheliftedhischinjustenoughthathesawme.
Thewolvensankontotheirhaunches,headsbowed,buttheir
lipspeelingbackinsnarlsasthosebehindtheKingandQueenquietlyadvanced.
“Yes,itis,”hismotherspokeagain,reachingupand
curlingherfingersaroundthetwistedbones.
QueenEloanaremovedhercrown,andwithwideeyes,Iwatched
herplaceitontheTemplefloor,atthefeetofthestatueofNyktos.
Withawhooshofair,flamesroaredfromthestonetorchof
Nyktos,flickeringanddancinginthewind.Theothertorchesfollowedsuit,
firesparkingtolife,andthebonesofthecrownshimmered,thebleached
whitenessofthemcracking,slippingawayandturningtoash,revealingthe
gildedbonesunderneath.
“Loweryourswords,”shecommanded,herchinliftingevenas
sheloweredtooneknee,evenasapotent,helplesssortofragedrenchedthe
spacearoundher,onethatcarriedthestenchofalong-buriedfearcometo
fruition.“Andbowbeforethe…beforethelastdescendentofthemostancient
ones,shewhocarriesthebloodoftheKingoftheGodswithinher.Bowbefore
yournewQueen.”
GetyourfreecopyoftheRedPearlbonusscenehere!RichardStocktonRichardStockton312020-08-07T04:05:00Z2020-08-07T04:05:00Z117083297374881142284114229616.00falsefalsefalsefalseEN-USX-NONEX-NONEDiscover
MoreJenniferL.Armentrout
Ifyou’reTeamHawke,youwillloveCaden.
IfyourRoyalisCasteel,you’llfallforthe
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She’severythinghewants….
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RaisedwithintheOrder,BrightonJussierknowsjusthow
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AMaiden…
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WaitingforthedayofherAscension,shewouldratherbewiththeguards,
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ADuty…
Theentirekingdom’sfuturerestsonPoppy’sshoulders,
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Forsakenbythegodsandfearedbymortals,afallenkingdom
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thelinebetweenwhatisforbiddenandwhatisrightbecomesblurred.Poppyis
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****
DreamofYou:AWaitForYouNovella
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AbbyEricksonisn’tlookingforaone-nightstand,a
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