Accidentally Amy Painter Lynn

AccidentallyAmyLynnPainter
KirkleCopyright
Copyright?2022byLynnPainter
Allrightsreserved.
Noportionofthisbookmaybereproducedinanyformwithoutwrittenpermissionfromthepublisherorauthor,exceptaspermittedbyU.S.copyrightlaw.Contents
1.ChapterOne
2.ChapterTwo
3.ChapterThree
4.ChapterFour
5.ChapterFive
6.ChapterSix
7.ChapterSeven
8.ChapterEight
9.ChapterNine
10.ChapterTen
11.Chapter11
12.Chapter12
13.Chapter13
14.Chapter14
15.Chapter15
16.Chapter16
17.Chapter17
18.Chapter18
19.Chapter19
20.Chapter20
21.Chapter21
22.EpilogueChapterOne
“Amy?”
Thebaristayelledoutthenamebeforesettingdownthecup.IsabellaShay?sawthatitwasaventipumpkinspicelatte,thesamedrinkshe’dordered,andshefoundherselfwildlyjealousofPSLAmy,whoevershemightbe.
BecauseIzzywanted–no,needed–togetherdrinkandgetthehelloutofthere.
Ifshewerearesponsibleadult,shewould’veseenthelonglinesandoptedNOTtogetacoffeethatmorning,butshewasnotresponsible.ItwasthefirstdayofthePSL–?waylaterthanusualbecauseofsupplychainissues–soherannualvicerefusedtobedenied,regardlessofthefactthatshewasstartinganewjobinT-minus30minutes.
Yes,shewastakingquitethemoronicrisk.
Hernewemployer–EllisEnterprises–wasabigtechcompany,withareputationforbeingenvironmentally-consciousandemployee-friendly.Theyhadworkoutfacilities,achildcarecenter,freecafeteria,4pmdailyhappyhour;Elliswasrenownedforbeingagreatplacetowork,soIzzywasdefinitelygoingtopunchherselfinthefaceifherlackofself-disciplinemadeherlatefor?herveryfirstday.
“Amy?”Thebaristasaiditagain,andIzzylookedaroundthebusycoffeeshop.Therewasagroupofwomenatabigtableontheothersideofthestore,alldressedinworkoutclothesandlookinglikeBarrefitnessmodels;perhapsoneof?them?wasAmy.
IzzyfeltlikePSLAmywasquicklybecominghernemesis.
Sheglanceddownatherphoneandstifledagroan.?Shit,shit,shit.?Iftheydidn’tcalloutIzzy’snameinthenextthreeminutes–andtheyprobablywouldn’tbecausetherewereaLOTofemptycupssittinginfrontoftheespressomachine,waitingtobefilled–shewasgoingtohavetokissthatsix-dollardrinkgoodbyeandaborthermissionforcaffeine.
“Amy!”Thebaristasaiditagain,soundingagitatedthistime,andbeforeshehadtimetothink,Izzyheardherselfmutter—
“I’mAmy.”
Andshereachedoutandgrabbedthecup.
Sheknewitwaswrong,shereallydid,butsheneededtogoandsheneededthatdrinkandshe’dalreadypaidsoitwasn’treallystealing,right?SheputherpalmoverthewordAMY,closedherfingersaroundthecupandturned,readytosprintoutoftheshopasfastasherpatentleatherheelswouldtakeher.
Butwhensheturned,sherammedrightintoawall.
“Oh!”?Ohmigawwwwwd.?Itwasn’tawall,itwasarock-hardchest,encasedinastarchedwhitedressshirtandacharcoaltie.Shestaredinhorrorashercupcrushedonimpact,thelidpoppedoff,andhotpumpkincoffeesplurtedalloverthechest.“I’msosorry!”
Shelookedupand–whoa.
YouknowhowinmovieseverythingcanfreezewhenacharacterseesTheBigThing?Well,thatwashappeningtoIzzyasshemadeeyecontactwithMr.Chest.Hewaslookingdownatherwithdarkeyes,reallyintensedarkeyesthatweren’tsomuchbrownastheyweretherichestshadeofburntamber.Hiseyebrowswereblack,hishairwasblack,hiswell-maintainedscruffwasblackandevenhissuitwasblack,whichallworkedtogethertoformsomesortofcontrastingframeforhisface’sridiculousbonestructureandperfectly-shapedmouth.
HewaslikeRoyKent’stallerAmericanbrotherorsomething,andIzzydidn’tthinkshewasphysicallycapableofclosinghermouthatthatmoment.
Untilshefeltthescaldingcoffeeseepingintoherownshirt(thankGoditwasblack).
Thatmadethemomentun-freezeitself.Izzymuttered?gahhhh,?tossedhercrumpledcup(RIPPSL)intothetrashhole,andgrabbedastackofnapkinsfromtheendofthecounter.
“Ican’tbelieveIranrightintoyou,”shebabbled,rubbingtheclumpofnapkinsoverhisshirtwithonehandwhileshedabbedatherownwiththeother.Shewaskindofmashingthenapkinsagainsttheman’schest,pattinganddabbingandtryingtodoanythingtomakethehugesplotchofcoffeedisappear.“OneminuteIwasgrabbingmydrink,thenextIwasrammingyourchestwithboilinglatte.I’mnotevensure–”
“It’sfine.”Hisvoicewasdark,too,richandbaritoneandalittlebitraspy.Izzyglancedupandhewasgivingherahalf-smile,likehewasamusedassherubbedhispecs,andsomethingaboutthatlookmadeherkneesweak.Hesaid,“Ihatedthisshirtanyway.”
Shecoughedoutalaugh,relievedhewasn’tmad.“Idid,too,butIdidn’tknowhowtotellyou.HencethePSL.”
Hegavealittlelaugh.“Subtle,buteffective.”
Dearlord.Izzyrealizedshewasstillfeelinghimup.Havingsecuredsecondbasewiththestranger,shestoppedhergroping,setthenapkinsonthebartopbesidethemandbitdownonherlowerliptostopherselffromsmiling.?Becausesheshouldfeelbadaboutscaldingtheman,right??“Ireally?am?sorry.I’dbehappytogetitdrycleanedforyouorsomething…?Abetterpersonwouldoffertoreplaceit,butIhaveafeelingit’soutofmypricerange.”
Hedidthehalf-bark,half-laughsoundagainthatIzzycouldfeelinhertoesandhesaid,“Whatmakesyousaythat?”
“It’ssoaking-wetandIstillcan’tseethroughit.Thathastomeanit’squality.”
“Wereyoutryingto?”heasked.
“What–seethroughyourshirt?”
Hegaveanod.
Izzyshrugged.“Iwouldn’tsayIwastrying,perse,butI’dbelyingifIsaidIwasn’tcheckingforathirdnipple.”
Hedidn’tsayanythingforaminute,stillhalf-smilingbutnowwithatinywrinklebetweenhisbrows,andsheknewhercheekswereturningred.Heclearedhisthroatandsaid,“Ipromisethereisn’tone,notthatthere’sanythingwrongwithhavingthree.”
Shedidsmilethen.“Imean,themore,themerrier,right?”
Hismouthsplitintoaslow,widesmilethatshereallylikedalot.“Arewesurethatapplieshere?”
“Definitelynot,butIcouldn’tletamomentpasswithoutspeaking,”shesaid.
“Yeah,Icanseethataboutyou.”
“Hey,”Izzysaid,“JustbecauseIboiledyourchestdoesn’tmeanyoucaninsultme.”
“Ifeellikeitactually?does?meanthat.Andtechnically,”hesaidwithaslygrin,“youinsultedyourself.I,beingapoliteindividual,merelyagreed.”
“Fair.”Sherolledhereyesandsaid,“I’llevengiveyouonemore.Go.”
Heletouthisbreathandraisedhiseyebrows.“Thisfeelslikeatrap.”
“Doit,”shesaid,crossingherarms.“Go.Slamme,bro.”
Hegavealittlechuckle–hedidn’tlooklikesomeoneusedtobeingcalled?bro–?andsaid,“Fine.I’msurprisedyoucanseeoutofthoseglasses–they’revery?dirty.Likeacrimescene.Nowonderyouwalkedintome.”
Izzylaughedout,“Wow,youactuallydidit.”
“Youtoldmeto,”hesaidaroundagrin,andthenhegesturedwithhishand–verybig,notthatshenoticed–forhertohandoverherglasses.
“No.”Shenarrowedhereyesandknewhereyebrowswereallscrewedtogether.“Seriously?”
“Comeon.Hand‘emover.”
“Okay,”shesaid,laughingattheridiculousnessasshetookherglassesoffandhandedthemtothecompletestranger.“Hereyougo.”
Hereachedintotheinsidepocketofhissuitjacket–?verry?nicesuit,bytheway–andpulledoutamicrofibercloth.Helookeddownatherglasses(whichwerealwaysdirty)ashebuffedthelenses,andIzzywonderedwhatinGod’snamewasactuallyhappening.Shesaid,“They’reusuallynot–”
“Yes,Ithinktheyprobablyare,”heteased,withoutlookingup.
“Yeah,theyusuallyare,”sheagreed,smilingashehandedthemback.Sheslidthemuphernose,tiltedherheadandsaid,“Ohmigod,you’reaman.”
Hemovedhishead,alittlenodacknowledgingherjoke,andhegaveherfull-oneyecontact.?Withajawflex.?Themomentheld,andshefeltlikeshewasbeingphysicallypulledclosertotheguy,likesomebizarro?gravitationalpullwasinplay,whenthebaristashouted,“Blake!”
BothoftheirheadswhippedtowardtheStarbucksemployee,andIzzythoughtshemight’veaudiblygaspedattheinterruptionbutshewasn’tsure.
“Um,that’sme,”hesaid,hiseyesnarrowingonherforasplitsecond–likehewasthinkingsomething?abouther?–beforehepointedandleanedforwardtoreacharoundherforhiscup.Thefaintsmellofcolognehitherashegrabbedhiscoffee,colognethatsmelledexpensiveandsubtle,andIzzyhadtheinexplicableurgetonuzzlehisthroat.
Getittogether,dipshit.Becool.
Heturnedtofaceher,leaningdownsoshecouldhearhimoverthenoiseofthecrowdedcoffeeshop,andhisdeepvoicefoundherearwith,“Doyouwanttograbatable–”
“Oh,no–whattimeisit?”Theword“table”joltedherintoreallife.Hemight’vesaidthetime,butshewastoobusypullingherphoneoutofherpockettohearhim.Shelookedatthedisplay,panicsurgingthroughher,andsaid,“Ohmigod?I’mlateIhavetogo.”
Shefishedherkeysoutofherpocketandhewasstillwatchingherwith?that?lookonhisface.Shehadtosaysomething,sosheutteredasquicklyasshecould,“Icomehereeverymorningaround7:45,soifyouwanttobereimbursedforthedrycleaning,or,um,anythingelse,I’llbeheretomorrow.”
“Ok–”
“Gottarun–nicemeetingyou!”Sheranforthedoor,literallysprintingaroundtablesinherthree-inchpumps.Andasshepusheditopen,Izzyheardthatintensely-masculinevoicesayfrombehindher–
“IguessI’llseeyoutomorrow,then,Amy.”
Amy??
Oh,noooooo.
ChapterTwo
Izzyhitchedhertotebagoverhershoulderandheadedfortheelevators,feelingdownrightgiddyoverthewayherfirstdayonthejobwasgoingsofar.She’dspentallmorningwithherteam,shadowingtheHRGeneralistwhosepositionshewasfilling,andit’dbeen–nojoke–fun.
Seriously.
Everyoneinthedepartmentseemedtogetalong,theworkseemedchallengingbutnottoostressful,andsheactuallyhadan(incrediblysmall)officewithhernameonthedoor.
Inadditiontothatlittlenuggetoffantasticality,InciteFitness–thecity’shottesthealthclub–waslocatedonthe12th?floorofthebuildingnextdoor,andEllisemployeeswereabletouseitforfree.?For.Free.?SoIzzyhadjustrunthreemilesonthetreadmill,andnowshewasreadyforPart2ofheramazingday.
Shesawtheelevatordoorsstartingtocloseandcalledout?wait,?justincasesomeonewaslisteningandwantedtobenice.Sheexpectednothing,soshevery-nearlysquealedwithdelightwhenshesawabighandreachoutandstopthedoors.
Couldtheday?get?anybetter?
“Thankyou,”shesangassheranoverandhoppedintotheelevator.
“Noproblem,”theguyinsidesaid,“Whatfl–”
“Ohmigod.”Izzy’smouthfellwideopenasshecameface-to-facewithMr.ChestfromStarbucks.Hewasstillwearinghisfancysuit(sanscoffee-stainedshirt),butthetipsofhishairwerewet,likehe’djustshowered,andshecouldliterallysmellhissoap.?Mmm–fresh.?Shebreathlesslysaidaroundalaugh,“It’syou.”
Helookedjustassurprisedtoseeher,butthenhismouthturnedupintooneofthosetoe-curling,genuinelyhappysmilesthatbumpedanexceptionally-handsomemanrightuptoaworkofart.Hesaidinthatridiculouslydeepvoice,“Talkaboutyoursmallworlds.”
Theelevatordoorsslidclosed,andhegesturedwithhisthumbtothefloorbuttons.
Izzymanaged,“Oh.Yeah.Lobby,please,”eventhoughshewassoshockedshecouldbarelyrememberhowtoformwords.Allmorning,she’dbeenforcingherself?not?tothinkaboutMr.Chest?becausenotonlydidsheneed?tofocusonthenewjob,buttherewasalsonowayinhellaStarbucksmeet-cutewouldeverpanoutintosomethingreal.
Butnow–herehewas.
Dun-Dun-Duuuun.
“So,um,”heasked,“Doyouworkaroundhere,ordoyoubelongtothisgym?”
“Iwasworkingout,”shestarted,butthenhenoddedandcutheroffwith–
“Okay,Idon’tnormallydothissortofthing,butsomeone’sgoingtogetonthiselevatoranyminutenowsoIhavetotalkfast.”
Hisfacewaspurposefulandintense,buthismouthwasrelaxed,likehewasslightlyamusedbythesituation.Izzywatchedthenumberslightinguponthedisplayoverthedoorsastheydescended.
11-10-9…
Pleasedon’tstop,pleasedon’tstop.
“Iknowwe’restrangers,”hesaid,hiseyessofocused?onher?thatshefeltlikefixingherhairorfidgetingwithherlipgloss.“But–”
8-7-6…
Izzyreachedoutandhittheemergencybuttonbehindhim,makingtheelevatorcarjolttoastop.
Mr.Cheststoppedtalkingasshestumbledinherpumps,whichpropelledheralittleclosertohim,andhiseyesnarrowedjustafraction.Awrinkleappearedin-betweenhisbrowsandIzzyshookherhead.
“No,no–I’mnotstoppingforcreepyreasons.IswearI’mnotthatbunny-boilerfrom?SilenceoftheLambs,?tryingtoseduceyouinanelevatororsomething.?Ijust–”
“FatalAttraction.”
“What?”
“Thebunnyboilingwasin?FatalAttraction,”hesaid,andthewrinkleofconcernthat’dbeenbetweenhisbrowsdisappearedashismouthtwitchedintoatinysmirk.
“Oh,yeah–?FatalAttraction;?duh.”Sherolledhereyesandsaid,“Ijustwanttohearwhatyouhavetosaywithoutreachingthegroundfloorfirst.That’sallthislittlestoppageisabout.”
“WhatIhavetosay.”Hesteppedalittlecloser,butnotinanintimidatingway.Itwasmore…intimate.ItremindedherofthewayDarcysaid?Mr.Wickham??andsteppedclosertoElizabethduringhisrainproposalinthehand-flexversionofP&P,andIzzythoughtshemightfaintdeadawayforthefirsttimeinherlife.Heputhishandsinthepocketsofhissuitpantsandsaid,“Is.Ihavemeetingsallafternoon,butcanI?please?callyoulater?”
“Onthetelephone?”Izzynoticedhehadperfecteyebrowsasshesaid,“Likeapsycho?”
“Well,I’mshitwiththeemojis,”hesaid,lookinghalf-seriousandalittleboyish.
“Sendalotofaccidentaleggplants?”
“No,”helaughed.
“Usethesametiredcry-laughingsmileyforeverythinglikeatotalwank?”
“Isthatawankthingtodo?”
“Absolutelyitis.”
“Well,then,um,yes.”Heclearedhisthroatandsaid,“Butmyabsolutewankinessaside–”
“Wankitude.Orisitwankery?”
“Wankiness,”hesaid,rollinghiseyesashecontinued,“IratherlikehearingthevoiceofthepersonI’mtalkingto.”
IzzymadeanoiseinherthroatandfeltlikesheneededgarlicorsometypeofdaggershecouldplungeintoMr.Chest’schestasprotection,becausestatementslikethatwereastraight-upassaultonherovaries.He?ratherliked?hearingtheperson’svoice?
Justtake?myheartnow,yougorgeouswank.
“I’llgiveyoumynumber,”shesaid,tryingnottoseemtooeager.“ButImakenopromisesonthewholephone-talkthing.IfearImaystartmashingthenumericalkeypadandshoutingemojinamesatrandomoutofconfusion.”
“Eggplant,eggplant?”hesaid,withanabsolutestraightface.
“Ourconversationwillhavetotakeaprettywildturnforthattobemyemoji-shoutofchoice,butyouneverknow.”Izzylookeddownathisshirt.“Doyouhaveaclosetfulloffreshshirtsatyouroffice,ordidyouhavetogohomeafterIdrenchedyourCalvinKlein?”
“Iranhome.”
Shestillfeltbadaboutthat.“PleasetellmeyouliveclosetoStarbucks.”
“Youseemprettyinterestedinmypersonalinformation,”?hesaid,hiseyesgettingateasingglintthatmadeherwanttorufflehishair.“Yousureyou’renotabunnyboiler?”
Izzytiltedherheadandwonderedifhehadpets.“Doyou?have?abunny?”
Aneyebrowwentup.“Whydoyouwanttoknow?”
“I’mfascinatedbythepetspeoplekeep,”shesaid,hereyeswanderingalloverhisface,“Andifyoutoldmeyouhadabunny,IthinkI’dfindyoutobethemostinterestingmaninthiselevator.”
Hesmiledalittlemoreandhisdimplespopped.
Fuckingdimples.
I’mgoingtoneedthatdaggerSTAT.
Hesaid,“WordscannotexpresshowmuchIregrettoinformyouthatIamnotoneinpossessionofarabbit.”
Izzybitdownonherlowerliptoholdinthelaugh.Shelookedupathimandsaid,“It?is?tragic,butperhapsyoumightconsideradoptingone…?”
Heleanedalittlecloserandjustlikethat,therewaswhite-hotelectricityinthatelevator.Theirfaceswereclose,andIzzywasveryawareallofasuddenthattheywerealoneinastoppedelevatorcar.Heroxygenwasnowhisfreshly-showeredscentandshewantedtobreatheitinuntilshehyperventilated.Hisvoicewasquieter,huskier,whenhesaid,“SweartoGodifIdidn’talreadyhaveacat,I’dbebeggingyoutogowithmetothesheltertopickoutabunnythisveryminute.”
“Youhave…acat?”sheaskedinanear-whisper,defeatedwiththerealizationthatevenadaggerthroughtheheartcouldn’tprotectherifBlakewasacatguy.
“Ihavetwo,”hesaid,andthenhegrinned.
Adirtygrin.
He?knew.?Somehowheknewhewaskillingherandherladyparts.
“You’retheworst,”Izzysaid,unabletoholdinthesmile.
“I’mgonnaneedthatnumber,”hereplied,pullingouthisphoneandwaiting
Shebarelygotoutalltendigitsbeforetheredphoneintheelevatorcarstartedringing.
“Weshouldprobablyturnthisthingbackonbeforetheauthoritiesarrive,”hesaid,hisjawdoingalittleclench/unclenchthingthatIzzyfeltlikeshecouldwatchforhours.
“Yeah,”shesaid,takingastepawayfromhimandtouchingherlips.“Idon’twanttohavetoanswerthatphone.”
“Afraidofpanickingandscreaming?evilsmile?”Heaskedashedepressedtheemergencystopbutton.
“Yep.”?Izzywatchedthenumberdisplaystartcountingdownagainastheyresumedtheirdescent,andshewonderedwhathe’ddoifshereachedaroundhimandpresseditagain.
Blake
Blakehit“save”onthespreadsheetandglancedathiswatchforthetenthtimethathour.Itwas5:15,he’djustfinishedhislastmeeting,andheneededtowrapupafewthingsbeforehecouldtakeoffforthenight.Heusuallyworkedlate–atleastuntilseven–buthehadn’tbeenabletofocussincerunningintothegirlfromStarbucksintheelevatoratIncite.
Whatinthehellweretheodds?
Thelastthinghewaslookingforwasarelationship.HeandSkyehadjustcalledofftheirengagementthreeweeksago,andheplannedonstayingsingleforalong-asstime.
Foreversoundedprettyfuckingawesometohimatthatpoint.
ButtherewassomethingabouttheStarbucksgirl.?Amy.?AftersomuchdishonestyfromSkye,somanylittlewhiteliesthatpiledupasteaserstoherBigAssLie,itwasrefreshingtobearoundsomeonewhoseemedsoopen.He’donlymetherforatotaloffiveminutes,sotechnicallyheknewnothingabouther,butcomparedtohis?just-let-me-explain?formerfiancé,shefelt…real.
Anditwaskindofblowinghismind.
Blakehatedsmall-talk–andmostpeopleingeneral–yettalkingtoherhadbeen?fun.?Afterthey’dgonetheirseparatewaysearlier,he’dsentheraquicktext,justsoshehadhisnumber.
Testing1-2-3.
She’drespondedimmediately.?NOWwho’sthebunnyboiler?IJUSTleftthebuildingandyou’realreadytexting.Obsessedmuch,JoeGoldberg?
He’dstoppedwalkingtoreply:?DidImentionthatoneofmycatsisblind?
Becausethelookthathadcrossedherfaceintheelevatorwhenhe’dsaidhehadcatswasfuckinggolden.
Shereplied:?YouareamenaceandIshouldprobablyblockyouforthatsortoffilth.Also,onarandomsidenote,whenyoucalltonight,makesureyouhavethekittiesnearbysoIcanheartheirlittlemeows.
Dammit,hewasreallylookingforwardtocallingher.
Fuckinglunacy,that.
“Knock-knock.”
HelookedupandPamCarson–theHRmanager–wasleaningintohisoffice.
“Hey,Pam,”hesaid,hopingthiswouldbequick.
“Hey.”Shesmiledandsaid,“Listen,IsabellaShay,ournewgeneralist,startedtodayandIjustwantedtointroduceyoubeforeshegoeshome.Ifyouhaveasecond.”
“Sure,”hesaid.
Blakedidn’treallygivearat’sassaboutthenewgeneralist,ifhewerebeingentirelyhonest.Pam–andtheentireHRdepartment–ranlikeawell-oiledmachine.Technically,ontheorgchart,theywerepartofhisteam,butunlesssomethingunusualwasgoingon,theHRDirectorhandledeverythingandhehadverylittlecontactwiththem.
ExceptwhenPamshowedupathisdooreveryfewmonthstointroducehimtoanew-hire.
“Isabella,thisisBlakePhillips,oneofourAVPs.”
Pamsteppedsidewaysinthedoorwayandabrunettesmiledandraisedherhandinacasualwave.Heopenedhismouthtosay?nicetomeetyou,?butthegirlstandingjustoutsideofhisofficelookedexactlylike–?no,holyshit,itwas?–StarbucksAmy.
Whatintheactualhell?
Izzy
“Youhave?got?tobekidding.”Izzyknewshewasbeaminglikeatoddlerlookingatanicecreamcone,butwhatelsecouldshedobutgrin?Fatewasliterallythrowingthismanather.Shesaid,“You?again?”
“Thisisgettingridiculous.”Blakelookedsuperimportant,sittingbehindthehugedeskinthehugeoffice.Hewasgivingherasmile,butthatwrinklewasbackbetweenhiseyebrows.
“Doyoutwoknoweachother?”Pamasked,smilinginquisitivelyandswinginghergazebackandforthbetweenthetwoofthem.
“IkindofspilledcoffeealloverMr.PhillipsatStarbucksthismorning.”?Andalsogavehimmynumber.?“It’sashockinglysmallworld.”
Blakeleanedbackalittleinhischairandcrossedhisarms,lookingeveryinchtheexecutive.Averyexpensive-lookingwatchpeekedoutfromunderhisrightcuff.“PamcalledyouIsabella.”
“Yes…?”
“SoIthoughtyousaidyournamewasAmy.”
Awww,crap.?She’dbeensolockedinontheprettyofhisfacethatshe’dforgottenall?aboutthestolencoffee.Herfacefeltwarmasshemuttered,“Oh.Yeah.Sofunnything.Ididn’tactuallysaymynamewasAmy.Ithinkyoumadeanassumptionafterseeingmycup.”
Shesmiledandtriedmakinghimlaughwith,“Youknowwhathappenswhenyouassume.”
Hedidn’tlaugh,andinsteadasked,“IsAmyyourmiddlenameorsomething?”
Shesuddenlyfeltlikeshewasontrial.Helookedlikeasternjudge–?hotthoughttoberevisitedlater–?andPamwaslikeajuror,quietlywatchingthecrossexamination.Izzyopenedhermouthandwasabouttoconsidergrabbingontohismiddlenameexcuseliketheliarshe’dapparentlybecome,whenPamsaid,
“No–hermiddlenameisClarence.Right,Izzy–isn’tthatwhatyoutoldmewhenyoufilledouttheI-9form?”
PamlaughedandsaidtoBlake,“Ithinkshesaiditwashergrandfather’sname.IsabellaClarence–canyouimagine?”????????????Izzyrubbedherlipstogetherforasecond–?shit,shit,shit–?andthenshesaid,“Amyisn’tactuallymynameatall.It’s,uh,kindofafunnystory.”
Blake’sheadtiltedjustthetiniestbit.?Shesaid,“Justletmeexplain.”
Pamkeptsmiling,lookingatIzzylikeshewaswaitingforahilarioustale,butBlakewasdoingthatjaw-clenchthingandabsolutelynotsmilinganymore.
Hekindoflookedpissed.
“Okay,so,Iwasrunningalittlebehindanddidn’twanttobelateformyfirstdayatEllis.Ipaidformydrink,butthelinewassuperlong.Like,solongthatIwasgoingtohavetobailbeforeIevengotmycoffee,right?”
Pamwasstillintoit,listeninginamusedanticipation,butBlakejustlookedimpatient,likeheknewtherestandwantedhertoshutthehellup.
Shelookeddownatherfeet?and?rushedoutthewords,“SoaftertheycalledforAmythreetimes,andnoonecameforthedrink,I,um,Imight’vetoldthebaristaIwasAmy.”
“Youdid?not,”Pamsaid,glancingatBlakewhilelaughinguncomfortably.
IzzytriedgivingBlakeherbestplayfulsmileasshesaid,“Itdidn’tpayoff,though,becauseIendedupspillingthedrinkalloverBlakehere.”
“Um.”Heclearedhisthroat.“Areyousayingthatyoutooksomeoneelse’sdrink?”
“Well,Imean,”Izzysaid,tryingtomakehimunderstand.“I?paid?andweorderedthesamething,so–”
“Sodoesthatmakeit?not?herdrinkthen?”Helookedatherlikeshe’djustconfessedtobeheadingapuppy.“Amy’sdrinkisfairgameforanyonewhoprepaidforthesameorder,isthatwhatyou’resaying?”
“Itwasaveryuncoolthingtodo,Iknow,”Izzysaid,mortifiedbyhisoffendedreaction.
“Idon’tknowaboutuncool,”Blakesaid,hiseyespinningherinplacelikehewasthehawkandshewasthemousehefound?tooannoyingtoeatsohejustwantedtoplaywithheruntilshewasdead.“Butitwasdefinitelydishonest.”
“Sovery,verydishonest,?Mr.Phillips.”Izzygrittedherteethandforcedherselftostaycalmbecauseshewantedthatjobmorethanshewantedtotellofftheultra-hot,uber-judgmentalChest.?Shecrossedherarms,breathedinthroughhernose,andsaid,“Youhavenoidea,athismoment,howmuchIregreteverysinglethingthattranspiredtodayinrelationtothatdishonestcupofcoffee.IfIcouldgobackandundoallofit,everysinglemoment,Iabsolutelywould.”
Hiseyesstayedonher,unwavering,andhisexpressionwasunreadable.
“I’mgoingtotakeoffandletyougetbacktowork,”shesaid,raisingherlipssoherbaringofteethlookedlikeasmile.“Itwasverynicemeetingyou.”
Heraisedaneyebrow.“Wasit?”
“Ofcourse,”Izzysaid,coughingoutatlittlelaughandsmilingatPamtomakesuresheknewthateverythingwasfine.ButthesecondPamlookedawayfromher,Izzycouldn’tstopherselffromgivingBlakeatinyheadshakeandmouthingthewordNOPE.
Thatmadehisjawclenchandhiseyesnarrowjusttheteensiestbit,whichmadeIzfeellikeshe’dscoredsomesortofpoint.
“We’llgetoutofyourhairnow,Blake,”Pamtittered,andIzzyletPamleadherawayfromtheofficeandouttotheelevators.She?knewshe’djustgottenherselffired,andrightasshethoughtthat,?Pamexplainedthateventhoughhecouldsometimesbeperceivedasarrogant,BlakePhillipswasactuallyareallyniceguy.
Hewas?justveryseriousandincrediblyfocused.
Izzyrolledhereyes.
Focused.
Wasthatwhatitwascalled?
ItseemedtoIzzythathewasfocusedonbeingatotaldick.????????????ChapterThree
“Iz,yourcat’sinmyapartment,”Joshyelledfromupstairsasshecheckedhermailbox.
“Seriously?”Izzysighedandrolledhereyes,wonderingwho’dbeeninherapartmentsinceshe’dleftthatmorning.Sheglancedinthedirectionofherdoor,andyep–itwasajar.
ThankGodthegeneralentrancetothebuildingrequiredakey.
Hergrandparentsownedtheapartmenthouse–itwastheir“investmentproperty.”Anolderbuilding,itsatinthemiddleofamid-centurymiddle-classneighborhood,offeringfourone-bedroomunits.Butinsteadofleasingtheapartmentstocollegestudentsandyoungprofessionalstomakeaprettypennyonpremiumrent,allfourunitsinthebuildingwereleasedatadiscountedratetoMillieandBurt’sgrandchildren.
Izzywasgratefulforthesweetdealonrent,aswellasthelandlordswhoadoredher,butitcamewithafewless-than-idealcaveats.First,she’dlostcountofthenumberoftimesshe’dcomehometofindhergrandpatinkeringinherapartmentorhergrandma“tidyingthings?upabit.”
Also,tomakethings“easierforeveryone,”hergrandparents?hadgiveneachofthemacopyofthemasterkeysotheydidn’thavetomessaroundwithindividuallocks.
Sometimesitfeltlikeshelivedinabighousewithhercousinsinsteadofherownapartment.
Heryoungercousin,Emily,beautifulandfunnyandrightacrossthehall,couldoftenbefoundlettingherselfintoIzzy’sapartment,borrowingherclothesandleavingnotesthatsaidthingslike“Ihaveyourblackshoes–willreturnlater.”
Daphne,herothercousin,livedupstairsandwasgenerallyaquietpersonasidefromtheoccasionalcosplaypartyshehostedforherfellowlarpers.DidshesometimesletherselfintoIzzy’splacewhenshewasoutoffoodanddidn’tfeellikegoingtothestore?
Yes,yesshedid.
Butdidshereplacethefoodsheborrowed?
No,noshedidn’t.
Joshwasthebestbuilding-matecousinoutofthetrio.HewasanITworkaholic,sosherarelysawhimatallasidefromtheoccasional?laundryroomrun-in,andheonlygotintoherstuffwhenheranoutofbeeranddidn’twanttogotothestore.
IzzyranupthestairsandretrievedTheDarkling,apologizingtoJoshfortheblackfurdepositshercathadleftonhisfancywhitesofa.Hesaid“it’scool”inahugecloudofsmoke,becauseherfavoritecousinwasalsoatotalvapehound.
Bythetimeshefinallygotinsideherapartmentandkickedoffhershoes,shewasreadyfora?lot?ofinactivity.
Becauseherday,inandofitself,hadbeenaLOT.
Shechangedintoherpajamas(yes,at6:10pm),grabbedaDietCoke?andwentintothelivingroom,wheretheMcDonaldsbagwasnowsoggyandgrease-stainedinthebottomofherpurse.
ShegrabbedtheremoteandturnedontheTV,needingescapeasshepulledoutherdinner.TheDarklingwalkedbackandforthonthebackofthecouch,steppingonherneckandbeinghisusualdickishself,andsheletoutahugesigh.
Whatwasshegoingtodo?
Sheunwrappedherhamburgerandkindofwantedtocry.She’dfinallyfoundwhatseemedliketheperfectjob,withacompanythatwasconsideredtobethebestplacetoworkintheentirefreakingworld,andshe’dtotallyblownherselfup.She’dsomehowmanagedtolieto–andinsult–afreakingVicePresidentonherveryfirstday.
Asifthatweren’tenoughofanaww-shitsandwich,shewassoprofoundly?disappointedinAVPBlake’sawfulcharacterarcthatshecouldcry.He’dstartedoffthedaylikesomedashingheroinarom-com,attractiveandcharmingandfilledwithpromise,butthen,inaninstant,he’dshownhimselftobe?apompous,arrogant,judgmentaljerk.
Ajerkwhowouldmostlikelybefiringherthefollowingday.
Andyes,sheknewthewholethingwasherfault.
Sheshovedafistfuloffriesintohermouthbeforegrabbingherphone.
Sheknewitwasabadidea,butshehadnothingtolose.
SheclickedintoBlake’slastmessageandtexted:
Hi.Iwillloseyournumberafterthis,sodon’tgetfreakedoutthatanemployeeistextingyou.ButIhaveaquestion.
Shewaitedforaresponse,butafterabouttwominutes,shetexted:
Okay–obviouslyyou’reignoringme,whichIget.BecauseAVP.Still…canItalktoyouforasec?
Shewaitedafewmoreminutes.
Hello…?
Shecountedtoten,andthentexted:
Okay,well,I’Mgoingtotalk,evenifyouchoosetoignoreme.
Izzybeganwhatcouldbestbedescribedasarapid-firetextassaultofBlake’sphone,hittingsendaftereveryword.Shewasn’tsureifitwouldbeseenasadorablypersistentorthefinalstraw,butasshetyped,sheacceptedbothoutcomes.
I
Am
Sorry
About
The
Misunderstanding(i.e.theliberationofAmy’scoffeeeventhoughsheclearlydidn’twantitafterhernamewascalled3xandIdidorderthesamethingandpaidforit.Ievenleftatipforthebarista,andyouKNOWtherealAmydidnot)
I
Am
A
Very
Honest
Person
Who
Simply
Lost
Her
Head
For
A
Second
When
Panicking
About
Possibly
Being
Late
On
Her
First
Day—
Feelinglikeshe’dmadeherpoint,Izzyendedthebarrageandbegantypinginnormal,grown-upparagraphs.
I’veneverstolenanythingorliedaboutmyidentity.
*WellactuallyIhadafakeIDmyfreshmanyearofcollegethatsaidIwasConnieBrockman,butitwassobadthatIonlyuseditoncebecausewhenthebouncerlookedatitformorethanfiveseconds,Iconfessedandwenthome.
Rightasshehitsend,AGAIN,herphonestartedringing,whichmadeherscream.Shelookedatthedisplay,anditwasBlake.OrwasitMr.Phillips??Whatwashetoher?
AAAAAAAAAAHHHH.
Sheraisedthephonetoherearandsaid,ascalmlyaspossible,“Hello?”
“Iseriouslydidn’tknowsomeonecouldbe?that?textuallyirritating.”
Themanhadthedeepest,sexiestvoice.Suchashame.Shereplied,“What,that?That’sonlyscratchingthesurface.”
“AsmuchasIenjoyhearingmyphonepingeveryfiveseconds,IfeelImustinformyouthatIwillnotberespondingtoyourmessages.”
Sherolledhereyesandpoppedanotherfryinhermouth.“Becauseyouhavefatthumbsandcan’tkeepup?”
“Becauseitwouldbeunprofessionalformetobetextinganemployee.”
Shesaid,“Isee.WhatifIwastextingthatIwastoosicktowork?”
“Acalltotheofficewouldbethebestcourseofaction,”hereplied.
“WhatifIwastextingtotellyoutheofficephonesweren’tworking?”
Sheheardhimclearhisthroatandwonderedwhathewaswearing.Hisdeepvoicesounded?politeandbusiness-like?whenhesaid,“MissShay,istheresomethingIcanhelpyouwith?”
“MissShay??Oof.”Izzysatbackonthecouchandsaid,“Listen,Ijustwanttosaythatifyou’regoingtofiremeforthelie–whichItotallyregret–andforwhenIwaskindofajerk?toyou,canyoupleasejustdoitnow?Ican’tdealwithithangingovermyhead.”
“I?havenoplanswhatsoeverregardingyouremployment.”Hesoundedlikehethoughtshewasabsurdwhenhesaid,“Pamisyourmanager,soshe’stheonlyonewhomakesthosedecisions.”
Izzysaid,“Butyou’reherboss.”
“Yep.”
“AndIflippedyouoff.”
“Wait–whendidyouflipmeoff?”
Shit.?Shesaidinaslow,apologetictone,“Youknowwhat?It’snotimportant.”
Hemadealaugh-likesound,adeepnoiseofsurpriselikehehadn’texpectedtobeamusedbyher,andsaid,“IguessImissedthat.”
“I’mveryquickwithobscenegestures–myspecialgift,really.”
“Soitwouldseem.”
“Tosummarize,”shesaid,unabletowrapherheadaroundit,“You’retellingmethatyou’regoingtodo?nothing?aboutmyquestionablebehavior.”
“Correct.”
“Wow.”Shecouldn’tbelieveit;shestillhadherjob?Shesaid,“IfeellikeIshouldthankyou.”
“So…?”
“Sothankyou.Truly.”Shetookadeepbreathandsaid,“Now,um,canItalktoyouasIzzyfromthecoffeeshop,notIzzyfromwork?”
“ThegirlImetinthecoffeeshop?wasn’tnamedIzzy,”hesaid,soundingterse,?“SoIdon’tactuallyknowhowthatgamewould?work.”
She?thoughtaboutthatforasecond,gotanidea,andpressedtheENDCALLbutton.
Blake
Blakelookedathisphoneindisbelief.?She?hunguponhim?
Beforehecouldevenprocessthat,hisphonestartedringing.
Hesighed?andanswered.“Hello?”
“Hi,isthisBlakefromStarbucks?”sheasked.
“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Youmaynotrememberme,butdoyourecallrecentlygettingcoffeespilledonyoubyabreathtakingstranger?”
“Yeah.”HepickedupthebottleofDosEquisthatwassittingbesidehischairandtookalongdrink,irritatedbytheridiculoussituationhesuddenlyfoundhimselfin.NotonlywasAmyaliarwhowasn’tactuallyAmyatall,butshetechnicallyworkedforhim.
Talkaboutalose/losescenario.
Evenifhewascoolwithcasualdishonesty,whichhesofuckingwasn’t,StarbucksGirlwasonhispayroll,soshewassimplyanemployee.Nothingmore,nothingless.
Shesaid,“Iknowyousaidyouweregoingtocallme,butIcouldn’twait.IratherlikehearingthevoiceofthepersonI’mtalkingto.”
“Isthatright?”hesaid,leaningbackinhischairandliftingonecornerofthebeer’slabelwithhisthumbnail.Eventhoughhe’dneverseenherbeforethatmorning,hecouldpictureherfaceperfectly.
“Itis.”Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,“Andforsomereason,yourdumbfacekeepspoppingintomyhead.”
Thatmadehimsmile,eventhoughhedidn’twanttobeamusedbyher.“Maybeyou’rejustbonkers.”
Heheardthegiggleinhervoicewhenshesaid,“Maybe,butIactuallythinkit’syoureyes.”
“Myeyesmakeyoubonkers?”
“Youreyesmakemethinkyou’reavampire,”shecorrected.
“Soyou?are?bonkers.”
“Youjusthaveintenselyvillainouseyes,”shesaid.“Theystickwithaperson.”
“Ihavenoideahowtorespondtothat.”
“Either?Ibegyourpardon?or?thankyou?willsuffice.”
“Dopeopleeverknowwhatyou’retalkingabout?”heasked.
“Idon’tknow–Ineveraskthem,butI’mgoingtogooutonalimbandsayrarely.”Hervoicechanged,then,theteasingtonegentlingintosincerity.“Listen,Blake,wearestrangerswhohappeneduponeachothermultipletimesinoneday.I’mcertainyouthinkI’macreepbecauseofthecoffeelie,butinmylife,I’musuallyhonesttoafault.Klutzy,butrigidlyhonest.Sotoprovemynon-creepitude,I’mgoingtotellyoufiveembarrassinglyhonestthingsaboutmyself.”
“Okay,”hesaid,knowingheshouldstopherbuttoointerestedinhearingthefivethingstoactuallydoit.Goodyearwalkeduptothedesk,bumpedintoit,thenstartedmeowingandwalkingincirclesuntilBlakepickedupthevisually-impairedcat?andsethimonhislap.
“Firstofall,”shesaid,“IthinkyoushouldknowthateventhoughI’manadult,Istillsleepwithmybabypillow.It’snothingfreaky?–I’mnot?intowearingonesiesandpretendingI’mababy?–butmymotherneverpriedthepillowoutofmystickyhandslikesheshouldhave,soIstillneedthatlittlelumpyrectangleinordertogetagoodnight’ssleep.”
Hewassmilingagain,damnher.“Wow.Noted.”
“Thesecondthing–Ihavealargepizzadeliveredtomyapartmentatleastfourtimesaweek,eventhough?Ilivealone.”
“Whatdoyouwatchwhileyoueatit?”heasked,wonderingwhatkindofapartmentshelivedin.
“I’mverymuchacreatureofhabit,soit’soneoftwothings.Ieitherturnon?NewGirl?andre-watchepisodesI’vealreadyseen–comfortTV,orIwatch?LittleHouseonthePrairie.”
“You’reshittingme.”HisgrandmalovedLittleHouseandsadly,he’dseennearlyeveryepisode.
“Ishityounot.Mygrandmalovesthatshow,”shereplied,“SoIgrewupwatchingiteverytimeIwentovertoherhouse.IsweartoGodthatCharlesIngallshasruinedmenformebybeingsodamned?perfect.”
“That?is?ahighmanbar,isn’tit?”
Shesaid,“TheMountEverestofmanbars,forsure.”
Heheardabagrustlingandasked,“Isthatafast-foodbagIhear?”
“CharlesIngallswouldneverputmeonthespotlikethat,asagentlemanneverasks,”shesaid,“Butifyoumustknow,youarecorrect–McDonaldsisinmylapthisveryminute.”
“Lucky.”Hecouldn’tthinkofthelasttimehe’dhadfastfood.“IhadaClifbarfordinner.”
“Assomeonewhorecentlydabbedyourchestforanuncomfortable,yetnotunenjoyable,lengthoftime,”shesaid.“IcansaywithcertaintythatthereisnowaywouldyourpecsbethatspectacularifyoufilledthemwithtransfatsandFrenchfries.”
“Didyoujustcomplimentmypecs?”
“Settledown–it’sjustanobservation.Nodifferentthan?there’sabook,thatisacar,thosearespectacularpectorals.”
Hewasn’tsurehowshewasmakinghimlaughwhenshe’dstressedthehelloutofhimearlier,buthescratchedGoodyear’sheadandsaid,“I’mtakingitasacompliment,nomatterwhatyousay.”
“Suityourself.Honestquestion–canyoudoaone-handedpush-up?”
“Probably…?”
“Fascinating.Iwillfilethatlittlemorselawaytorevisitlater.”Shemadeanoiseinherthroatandsaid,“Okay–thirdfactaboutme.Also,Ihopeyou’repreparingyours.”
“Mywhat?”
“Yourfivefacts,Phillips.Thisisimportant.”
“IneversaidthatIwould–”
“Numberthree,”?shesaid,usingthesametoneateacherwoulduseifastudentwereinterrupting,“I’malittleobsessedwithReylofanfic.”
Hesaid,“I’llbehonest–Idon’tknowwhatthosewordsmean.”
“Youdon’tknowwhatfanficis?”sheasked.
“Imean,sortof,”hesaid.“It’sjust,like,peoplemakingupnewstoriesaboutexistingworks,right?”
“Yes.”Shesoundedalittleimpressedasshesaid,“AndReylopertainstostoriesaboutKyloRenandRey.”
“From?StarWars?”
“Yes.”
Hedidn’treallyunderstand,buthesaid,“Ah.Okay.”
“Obviouslyyoudon’tunderstandandthat’sfine.I’llbesuretosay“Ah–okay”aboutyournumberthreewhenyourturncomesaround.”
“I’mnot–”
“Numberfour,”shebarkedout,asmileinhervoice,“Igrewuphere,haveoneolderbrotherwhofindsmetobegenerallyannoying,andIwasbrieflyfamousineighthgradewhenavideoofmefallingdownmyschool’sstairswentviral.”
“Iwillneedalinkoritisn’ttrue,”hesaid,turninghisheadsohedidn’tgetamouthfuloftailasGoodyearstartedwalkingincirclesonhischest,tryingtogetcomfortable.
“Sendingrightnow,”shelaughed,andhisphonebuzzedwithatextnotification.“Butifyoumakefunofmyhair,IsweartoeverythingholythatIwillshankyouwithanicepick.”
“Doyou?have?anicepick?”heasked.
“Ofcoursenot–doesanyone?Hasanyoneinthehistoryoflifeeverneededanicepick,otherthan,um,iceharvesters?”
“Idon’tthinkiceharvesterisathing,”Blakesaid.
“Agreetodisagree.Okay.Areyoureadyfornumberfive?”
“Idon’tknow–amI?”
“Youcan’tbe.”
“ThenI’mnot.”
“Allright.”Itsoundedlikesheletoutahugebreathbeforeshesaid,“Numberfive.ItotaledmycarlastyearwhenIsneezedontheinterstate.”
Heshookhisheadandcouldn’t?not?smile.Again.“Yeah–I’mgonnaneedmoreinformation.”
“MyfootinvoluntarilyslammedonthebrakeswhenIsneezed,”sheexplained,?“whichcausedaHondaCRVtorear-endmyCivic,whichpushedmeintothesideofaFordExpedition.”
“IsitweirdthatI’mimpressedbyyourrecollectionofthemakesandmodelsofthevehiclesinvolved?”heasked,laughingagainsthiswill.
“Notatall–Iamincrediblyimpressiveandyouarerighttofeelthatway.”
“NotwhatIsaid,”hecountered.
“Iknowit’swhatyoumeant,”shereplied.“Okaynowyou.”
“No,thankyou.”
“ThenI’llaskyoufivequestions.”
“DoIhaveachoicehere?”heasked,knowingheneededtoendtheconversationandgetoffthedamnphone.But–?dammit?–therewasjustsomethingaboutherthatmadehimwanttolinger.
“Okay–numberone.Wheredidyougrowup,andwheredidyougotocollege?”
“That’stwoquestions,”herepliedasothercatappearedinthedoorway.
“SinceIincludedbothinonesentence,itisonequestion.”
“Sureitis,”Blakesaid,movinghisarmsoHolecouldjumponhislap.“IgrewupinOmaha,andwenttocollegeinMinnesota.”
“Wereyouinafrat?”sheasked.
“NofratbutIplayedbasketball.”
“Shutup–sodidI!”
“Really?”Shehadn’tstruckBlakeaslookingparticularlyathletic,butmaybethatwasbecausehe’dbeenobsessedwithherlegsinthosehighheelsandhadbeenalittleoblivioustoprettymucheverythingelse.“Where?”
“LaVistaJuniorHigh.”
“So…notincollege.Gotit.Notentirelyrelevant,butI’llallowit.”Hewassmilingagain,dammit.“Tellmeeverything.”
ShetoldhimabouthowsheonlywentoutforbasketballinninthgradebecauseherfriendLindywantedto,andhowshescoredawhoppingtwopointsoverthecourseoftheseason.Sherambledaboutrunninghundredsoflapsbecauseofmissedfreethrows,andfinishedthestorywith,“Yes,thecoacheshatedme,butIfeellikeImight’vetaughtthemalittlesomething,too.”
“Ithinktheyprobablyjusthatedyou.”
“Canit.”Hethoughtheheardthe?LittleHouse?themesong?inthebackgroundjustbeforeshesaid,“Okay–numbertwo.WereyoumadwhenIspilledcoffeeonyouthismorning?Honestanswersonly.”
God,hadthatreallybeenthesameday?Talkaboutalongone.Hereachedforhisbeerandsaid,“Thehonestanswer–andI’monlysayingthisbecausewewill?not?betalkingaftertonight–isthatyouspillingcoffeeonmewasafuckinglovelysurprise.”
Hervoicewasquietwhenshesaid,“Itwas?”
“Sure.It’snotoftenthatafunny,charming,beautifulgirl–thoughnolongerbeautifultomebecauseshe’snowjustanemployee–appearsoutofnowhereandstartsrubbingyourchestinacoffeeshop.”
“Iamallofthosethings.”Heheardabreathlesslaughasshesaid,“Includingtheno-longer-beautifulemployee.”
“Yeah,”heagreed,feelingoddlyunsettledbythat.
“Okay,um,numberthree,”shesaid.“Whatisyour–”
“Numberthree?”hescoffed,startlingHolewithhisraisedvoice.“Howisthisnumberthree?I’mbeginningtohaveseriousreservationsaboutourhiringprocess.”
Shelaughedagain.“Shhhh.Numberthree–”
“Numberthree.Whenyousteppedintotheelevatorat?Incite,”heinterrupted,?“Ihadaninstantdaydreamabouthittingthestopbuttonandseeingwhattranspired.Sowhenyouactuallydidit…hell,itfeltlikeaBigFatekindofmoment.”
Shedidn’tlaugh,didn’tsayanything,andhelethisheadfallbackwardsohecouldstareattheceilingandfuckingregrethisidioticmouthforactuallysayingthosewordsoutloud.
Afteramoment,he?said,“Youthere?”
Heheardherclearherthroat.“Soisthereanywayforustogoback–”
“No.”Helookedoutthewindow,outatthecitylights,andfeltaheavyloadofdisappointmentsettleoverhimashesaid,“Therearerules,andIhaveethics.RegardlessoftheAmything,IsabellaShayisonmyteam,thereforeoff-limits.”
“ButI–”
“Actually,Ishouldprobablygonow.”HegrabbedGoodyearandHole,stoodup,andwalkedtowardthekitchen.HeneededtofeedthecatsandgetonwithlifesansStarbucksGirl.Hesaid,“Youknowwecan’ttextandcallanymore,right?”
“Um,”shesaid,andsomethingabouthertonemadehimstopwalking.Helistenedasshesaid,“IsabellaShayisyouremployee,soyoudefinitelyshouldn’tbecommunicatingwithherafterhours.Butif,fromtime-to-time,youweretogetarandomtextfromAmy,agirlyoumetatStarbucks,wouldthatbesuchabadthing?”
Shit-shit-shit-shit,?hethought,knowingwhatthecorrectanswerwas.Therewerenogreyareasregardingethicsintheworkplace–hewholeheartedlybelievedthat.Sohedidn’tknowwhatthefuckwaswrongwithhimwhenheheardhimselfsay,“Isupposenot.”
“Okay–Ihavetogonow.Bye.”
Beforehecouldsayaword,thecallended.Heshookhishead,wentintothekitchen?andgrabbedthecatfood,holdingtheguysagainsthischestashewonderedwhoIsabellaShayreallywas.
Andjustashewassettingthebowlonthefloorandputtingdownthecats,hegotatext.
Hi,it’sAmyfromStarbucks.ChapterFour
Izzy
“Thisisn’tsomethingyou’llnormallybeinvolvedin,butsinceyou’reshadowingme,it’syourluckyday.”
Izzygrabbedanotepad?andhercoffeebeforefollowingPamtowardtheconferenceroom.
“Boring?”
“Ifyoumakeittolunchwithoutnoddingoff,”shesaid,givingIzzyalook,“I’llbesurprised.Besuretobringalargecupofcoffeewithyou.”
Izzywasn’tlookingforwardtosittingthroughaboringmeeting,butshe?was?alittleinterestedintheprocess.Itwastheannualbenefitrenewalstrategysession,wheretheircurrentinsuranceadvisorwouldbereviewingtheiroptionsfortheupcomingyear,whichPamwouldin-turnreviewwithEllis’sboardofdirectors,whowouldultimatelyfinalizetheplan.?Exciting?No.Interesting?Izzykindofthoughtyes,butshe’dalwaysbeenintoadministrativeredtape;asakid,BusinesswomanWithManyFileswasherabsolutefavoritegameofpretend.
Pamintroducedhertotheadvisor–Kelli–whowouldbepresentingbeforetheytooktheirseatsaroundthehugeconferencetable.Theywereearly,soPamchattedwithpeopleastheyfilteredinwhileIzzydoodledonhernotepad.
Justbeforethemeetingwasabouttobegin,sheheard?his?voice.Hewastalkingquietly,buthereardefinitelypickeduptheBlakeintheroomandittookeverybitofdisciplineshehadnottoturnandlooktowardthedoorway.She’dtextedbackandforthwithhimforacouplehoursthenightbefore,nonsensetextsaboutTVshowsandhousepets,butshewasIzzyinHRnow,notAmyfromStarbucks,sotherewasnopointinevenlookinghisway.
Kellilaunchedintoherpresentation,projectingslideafterslideofworkplacetrends,benchmarkdata,andcostanalysisofwhattheirplanshadcosttheyearbefore,aswellasprojectionsfortheupcomingyear.Izzytookcopiousnotesatfirst,butafteracouplehours,shelostherverveandswitchedtomerelistening.
Pam’sadviceregardingthelargecupofcoffeewasnowmakingmoresense.
Justwhenhereyesweregettingheavy,aquestioncamefromtheotherendoftheconferencetable.??“Dothosenumbersreflectthemid-yearchange?Ididn’tseethatinthedata.”?Sinceeveryonelookedatthequestion-asker,Izzy?allowedhereyestoseekhimout.SheturnedherheadtowardBlake’svoice,andherstomachdroppedwhenshelookedathim.?Awwwww,geez.
Whatwashe,thefreakingking?Hewassittinginaconferencechair,justlikeeveryoneelse,buttherewassomethingabouthimthatjustscreamedLEADER.Maybeitwashisposture,thesuperhero-esquegirthofhisstupendouschest,ortheconfidentintelligenceinhisstare;shedidn’tknowwhat“it”was,exactly,butthemanheldtheroom.
Hewasdressedimpeccablyagain–perfectsuit(charcoalthistime),pressedshirt,tie–buthewaswearingglassesthatday.Apairofstylishframessatatophisstrongnose,makinghimlooklikethemostintelligenthumanhottieinthecosmos.Helookedsmartandsosexythatshewonderedhowmanywomeninthatroomwerefantasizingabouthimthatveryminute.
Shewouldguessallofthem,andcoulddefinitelyconfirmone(her).
Asifhearingherthoughts,hiseyeslockedonhers.Kelliansweredhisquestion,andheappearedtobelistening,buthiseyeswerejusta?little?totheleftofKelli’slocation,whollyfocusedonIzzywhilehisjawdidthatlittleflex/unflexthing.
Whoa.
Ifthemanwasintriguingwhenhewasbeingcharminginanelevator,hewasdownrightmesmerizingwhenlookingather?asifamyriadofthoughtshewasunwillingtosharewerebeingtossedaboutinhismind.Izzyrolledinherlipsandmethisgaze,liftingherchinalittlejusttomakesurehedidn’tthinkheintimidatedher.
“Doesthatansweryourquestion,Blake?”Kelliasked.
Hegaveanod.“Yes–thankyou,Kelli.”
Izzylookedbackathernotepadbeforepickingupherpenandgoingbacktonote-taking.Shehadtodosomething,anything,orelseshe’dprobablyjuststareatBlakeuntilsomeoneconfrontedherfortheharassingimplicationsofherlicentiousstare.
Whenthemeetingfinallyended,shefollowedPamoutthedoor,wonderinghowmanypeoplewereexitingbetweenherandBlake.
Washestilllingeringinthebackoftheconferenceroom,discussingdatawiththepeoplewhocaredaboutdata,orwasheexitingrightbehindher,hisbigbodymereinchesfromhers?
Atinyshiverslithereddownherspineatthethought,andsherolledhereyesatheridiocyassheheadedbacktowardheroffice.Unfortunately,thetieonthebackofherstraightjacketsweatercaughtonthedoorhinge,jerkingherbackward.
“Gah!”ShelookeddownatwhereshewasconnectedtothedoorjustasBlakewasapproachingthedoorway,talkingtotwootherwell-suitedexecutives.
Shelookedoverhershoulder,reachingahandaroundtoun-tetherherselfasquicklyaspossible.
“Izzy?”Pamsaid,stoppingandturningaround.
Blakeandhiscohortsreachedthedoorwayatthatmoment,andIzzywatchedhiseyesabsorbhersituationinasplit-second.Healmostlookedlikehewasgoingtosmile–almost–beforehesaid,“Hangon.”
Hesteppedcloser,hiscologneswirlingaroundhersensibilitieslikesomekindofolfactoryroofie,beforehesaid,“Lookslikeyou’restuck.”
“Littlebit,”shesaid,feelinglikeanidiot.
“Here.”IfitwereanyonebutBlake,sheknewshewouldn’thavefelthisfingertips.Heunhookedhertiefromthehingeinahalf-second,freeingher;histouchwaspurelyutilitarian.?Buthislefthand–justthetippiesttipsofhisfingers–hadrestedonherlowerbackforthemillisecondit’dtakenforhimtodisengageherfromthedoor.
Andnowshe’dberelivingthattinybitoffingertippynon-foreplayfortherestoftheday.
“Thanks,”shesaid,smilingpolitelybeforetakingoffintheclosestthingtoasprintshecouldmanagewhilewearingthree-inchpumps.
Therestofthedaywasblessedlyuneventful,withnaryaBlakesighting,andshebreathedasighofrelief.PamhadintimatedonIzzy’sfirstdaythattheydidn’tseehimveryoftenintheirdepartment,andeventhoughhewasdroolworthyeyecandythatmadeherfantasizeabouthotsexinstorageclosets,shewasgladtohearit.
BecausemenlikeBlaketurnedwomenlikeIzzyintobumblingidiots,andshehadnointerestinplayingthatpart.ShefeltasifElliscouldbeacareerlaunchpadforher,aplaceforhertobuildherprofessionalfoundationandbeginherclimb,andshewasn’tgoingtoletAVPBlake’shotnessscrewitupforher.
Blake
Blakepulledouthisphoneandtexted:Ijustfinishedcleaningupcatvomit,incaseyou’rewonderinghowmynightisgoing.
Hesatdownonhissofa,feelingrestless.Hewasn’tsureifithadtodowithseeingIzzy/Amyatwork,nothearingfromhersincehe’dgottenhome,orthereal-liferealitythathe’djustcleanedupfourseparatespotsofdisgustingcatvomit,buthefeltlikeheneededto?do?something.
Hisphonebuzzed.
Amy:TakesolaceinthefactthatIamwildlyjealousthatyou’reinyourwarmaboderightnow,cleaningupyack.Thatsoundsheavenly.
Hetexted:?Whereareyourightnow?
Amy:Let’sjustsayI’mtakingawalk.
Heglancedtowardthewallofwindowsonthebacksideofhiscondoandtexted:?Intherain??Inthedark??
Amy:Itwasn’tmynumberonechoice,butI’llbehomesoonandwillprobablydrowntodeathinthehotshowerIwillrefusetoeverleave.
Thunderrumbled,andhewatchedlightningflashthroughthesky.Hemessaged:?Areyouseriousrightnow?
Amy:It’snobigdeal.Mycardied,butI’malmosthome.
Notonlywasitpouring,butitwaskindofaviolentelectricalstorm,andshewasoutwalkinginit?Alone?Inthedark?Hetexted:?Howcloseareyou?
Amy:I’llbehomeintwenty.
Herespondedwith:Twentyminutes?
Hegrabbedhiskeysoffthecoffeetableandstood.
Texted:?Dropmeyourlocation.
Amy:No–I’mfine.
Hewentintothehallandgrabbedacoupletowelsfromthelinencloset,andahoodiefromthecoatcloset.?I’mheadedoutalreadysoit’sNBD.Justdropmeyourlocation.
Amy:AVPBlakecannotgiveStarbucksAmyaride.I’malmosthome–noworries.Thanks,tho.
Hedidn’tknowwhy,buthisstresswasthroughtheroofatthethoughtofheroutinthestorm,allalone.Hetexted:?BlakefromStarbucksisgoingforadrive,dumbass.Tellmewhereyouare.
Amy:Myhero!YouknowthatBurgerKingthat’srightofftheinterstateonDodge?
Blake:You’reattheBK?
Amy:Ishouldbethereintenminutes.
Blake:Whereareyouthissecond?
Amy:Walkingonthesideoftheinterstate,somewherebetweentheDinkersexitandDodge.
Shedroppedherlocation,andshewasn’tveryfarfromhisplace.Hegotinhiscarandflewinthatdirection,strugglingtoseethroughthedeluge,evenwithhiswipersonhigh.Ican’tbelieveshe’swalkinginthis.Whywouldn’tshehavecalledsomeone?Hesquinted,searchingeverywhereforherwhenhegotclosetoBurgerKing,andthenhesawablurredsilhouetteinthedarkness.
Shewaswalkingonthesideoftheinterstate,adark,huddledfigurebarelyvisibleonthefreewayshoulder.Hethrewonhishazardsandslowed,rollingdownhiswindowsoshecouldseeitwashimandnotsomecreeperashestoppedbesideher.
“It’sme–getin!”heyelled.
Hecouldn’tseeherfacethroughtherain,butshemust’veseenallsheneededbecausesheran–literally–athiscar.Shethrewopenthefrontpassengerdoorandlookedreadytojumpinsidewhenshestoppedshort.Hereyeslookeddownathisseatandsheyelledoverthesoundofthestorm,“I’msoaked–Idon’twanttoruinyourniceseats.”
“Getin,”heshouted,wantingtograbherarmandjerkherintothedrycar.“They’llbefine.”
Shegotinthecarandslammedthedoor,andasshesat,hesawjusthowdrenchedshewas.Herhairwasdrippingandherclothesweresaturatedandherfacewaswetasshewipeditwithwethands.Shewasshaking–herbodywrackedwithtremors,andhereachedbetweentheseatsandgrabbedatowelandthehoodieoutoftheback,handingthemtoher
“Ohmigod,Iloveyousomuch,”shebreathed,takingthetowelandrubbingitoverherheadbeforejustwrappingitaroundherlikeitwasablanket.“Thankyou.”
“Noproblem,”hesaid,concernedthatshekeptshiveringsoviolently.“Maybeyoushouldputonthehoodie.”
“I’mfine,”shesaidaroundchatteringteeth,“Myapartmentison50th?andSullivan.Thankyouagain,bytheway.”
Blakeputhiscaringearandpulledbackontotheroad.?“Sowhereexactlyisyourcar?”
“Probablyaboutamileback,”shereplied.“Igotitmostlyofftheinterstate,soitisn’tahazard.”
“You’resoakedtothebone,”hesaid,worryingabouthertremors.“Youneedtotakeoffyourwetshirt?andputonthatdryhoodie.”
Heexpectedasmartasscomment,butshewasclearlyinthethroesofhypothermiabecauseallshesaidwas,“KeepyoureyesontheroadorI’llkickyourass,Chest.”
“Youhavemyword,”hesaid,relievedshewaswillingtotakehissuggestion
Hecrankeduptheheatashedrovetowardherneighborhood,ignoringtheshirtremovalthatwasgoingonnexttohim.Obviouslyshewassocoldshenolongercaredaboutprivacy,becauseshewasn’teventryingtoduckdownorhideherselffromothervehicles’lineofsight.Notthatanyonecouldseeanything,betweenthedarknessandthedownpour.
Hedrovealittlefaster,desperatetogetherhomebeforeshefrozetodeath,but?hisperipheralvisionwaspickinguponherhands,wrappedaroundherbackandunhookingherbra.
Whatthehelliswrongwithyou?Focusontheroad,dipshit.
“Turnatthelight,”shesaid,pullingthehoodieoverherhead.“Andthentakeyourfirstright,ontoPriceAvenue.”
“Gotit,”hesaid,hittinghisturnsignalandclearinghisthroat.
“Mybuildingistheredbrickfour-plex,waydownonthecorner;it’saboutablockup.”Shepulledherhairoutofthehoodieandleanedforwardtoholdherhandsuptothedashboardvent.“Ididn’twantyoutocomebutI’msoincrediblyhappythatyoudid.”
“Whydidn’tyoucallsomeone?”heasked.“Ican’tbelieveyoudidn’tjustsitinyourdrycarandwaitforhelp.”
“Itriedmybrotherandhedidn’tanswer,”shesaid,puttingherfacemerecentimetersfromthevent.“AndIwasn’tthatfarfromhome.”
“Notthatfar?”Itwasunfathomablethatshe’dbeenstrollingalongsidetheinterstatewhereanyonecould’verunherdown.“Itwould’vetakenyouforty-fivemoreminutestogethome,ifyoudidn’tgethit,murderedorstruckbylightningfirst.”
“Hey.You’renotallowedtoscoldmeunlessyouknowmymiddlename.”Therewasateasinginhervoicewhenshesaid,“Sinceyoudon’t,Mr.ChestfromStarbucks,youshould–”
“Clarence.”
Heheardhergasp,andshewassmilingwithhermouthwideopenwhenheglancedover.Shesaid,“Iforgotthatyouknowthat.”
“Thisit?”heasked,pullingtoastopinfrontofanapartmentbuilding.Itlookedoldbutwell-maintained,surroundedbyalotoftalltrees,andforsomereason,hecouldpictureherlivingthere.
“Yes.”Shereachedforthecardoorwithshakinghands.“Thankyousomuchforcomingtogetme.”
“Noproblem,”hesaid.
“DoyouwanttocomeinforasliceofthehotpizzaIwillbeorderingtheminutemyfingersthaw?”
No.?NO.Ofcourseno,theonlyanswerwasno.Hesettheparkingbrakeandkilledtheengine.Hepulledthekeysoutoftheignitionandsaid,“I’llorderwhileyoudrowninthehotshower.Deal?”
“Dealsohard,”shereplied,soundingpleasedwithhisidioticanswer.
Theymadearunforthedoor,whichseemedlikeamootpointwhenshewasalreadydrenched.Hetookthekeysfromhershakingfingersandunlockedthebuildingdoorforher.
“Okay.”Thedimlightinthebuildingentrywayseemedbrighterthanthesunaftersomuchdarkness.Shelookedupathimthroughawetfaceofsmearedmascaraandsaid,“Don’tjudgemeformyfurnishings.”
“Iwouldnever.”
“Yousaythatnow,”shesaid,openingtheobviouslyunlockedfirstdoorontheright,“Butwaituntilyouseeit.”
Whenshepushedopenthedoor,itwaslikewalkingintosomeone’sgrandmother’sapartment.Shehadapinksofa,twomatchingpinkandgoldvelvetsidechairs,andahugepaintingofagardenscenehungonthewallbehindthecouch.Crochetdoiliessatonbothendtables,andhewashonestlysurprisedtoseeanormalTVontheothersideoftheroom,andnotabig70sconsolewitholdschoolrabbitears.
“You’reintoretro,”hesaid,lookingaroundattheturnofthecenturydécor.
“You’rekidding,right?”shesaid,droppingthetowelononeofthechairsandturningonafloorlamp.“WhenImovedinhere,mygrandmasurprisedmebyfurnishingtheentireplaceforme;itwashergift.”
“Wow.”
“Right?”Shecrossedherarms,lookingtinyinhisXLBearshoodie,andsaid,“I’lltellyouthewholestoryafterIshower.Remote’sonthecoffeetable,beerisinthefridge,andmycreditcardisinmypurseifyouwanttoorderthepizza.”
“I’vegotit.”Didsheusuallymakeahabitofnotlockingherfrontdoorandlettingpeopleshejustmetriflethroughherpurse?“Goshower.”
“Godblessyou,”shesaid,andthenshedisappeareddownthehallwayandintothebackoftheapartment.
“Whattoppings?”heyelled.
“Anythingbutpineapple.”
“Combo?”
“Yes,please,butnomushrooms.Anddon’tpickabadpizzajoint.”
BlakeflippedontheTV,turningtoanNFLgamebeforewalkingintoherkitchen.Hepushedanorderthroughonhisfavoritepizzaapp,andheheardtheshowerstartasheopenedthefridgeandgrabbedabottleofMichUltra.
Howcouldsomeonefunctionwithonlycondiments,chocolatemilk,dietsodaandbeerintheirrefrigerator?
Hewentbackintothelivingroom,andwasabouttositdownwhenaguywalkedthroughthefrontdoor.Aguywithabushybeard,Adidasjoggers,noshirtandnoshoes.
Hestoppedshort,lookingsurprisedtoseeBlake.
ThenhiseyeswentdowntoBlake’sbeerandhesaid,“Youdrinkin’mybeer?”
Blakeopenedhismouthtorespondbuttheguylaughedandsaid,“Justmessin.’Where’sIz?”
“Shower,”Blakesaid,wonderingwhatthedudewouldmakeofthat.
“Good–Ineedtostealafewthings.Don’ttell.”
Blakewatchedastheguywentintothekitchen,grabbedthreebeersandanunopenedbagofCoolRanchDoritos,thenturnedandheadedforthedoor.
“Issheokaywiththis?”Blakeasked,feelinglikeheshouldstepinorsomething.
“Yeah–sheowesme,”theguysaid,smilinglikeitwasnobigdeal.“TellherTheDarklingpukedonmybedtoday,soI’mcollecting.”
WhatthehellhadshenamedafterGeneralKirigan?“Andyouare…?”
“Oh,myGod,clearlyanasshole,”hesaid,andshiftedthestolenitemstohislefthand.Heextendedhisrightandsaid,“I’mJosh–hercousin.Iliveupstairs.”
“Blake,”hesaid,hatingthereliefhefeltthattheguywhowasclearlyveryfamiliarwithIzzywasfamilyandnotsomethingmorecomplicated.“Hercarbrokedownontheinterstate–”
“Itoldher!”Joshshookhisheadandsaid,“Itoldher,afterherstartercaughtonfire,thatsheneededtogetanewcarbeforeshegotstranded.Butyouknowhowsheis.”
Blakeactuallyhadnoidea.??“Maybenowshe’lllisten.”
“Maybe,”Blakeagreed.
“Well,itwasnicemeetingyou,”Joshsaid.“Hey–willyoucomegrabTheDarkling?”
Blakewasprettysuretheanswerwasahardno.
“I’msickofhercat,”Joshsaid,walkingtowardthedoor,unconcernedwithBlake’slackofresponse.“Pleasecomegatherthebeast.”
BlakefeltlikehewasinanepisodeofTheTwilightZoneashefollowedtheguyupthestairsandwashandedacat.ThecatscaledBlake’schestwithallofhisclaws–dickmove-butbythetimeshe(hestillcouldn’tthinkofherasIzzy?or?Amy,soshewas?She?atthatpoint)cameintothelivingroom,thecatwaspurringonhislap.
Shestoppedandlookedathim,eyebrowscrinkledtogether.“TheDarklingissittingonyourlap.”
“WhydoesthatconjuretheunfortunateimageofBenBarnesrecliningonmythighs?”
Shesmiled.“Hehateseveryone–evenme,halfthetime.”
Hewasn’tsurehowshemanagedtolookhotinsweats,wethairandfuzzysocks,surroundedbygaudyretrofurniture,buthewasuncomfortablyattractedtoheratthatminute.Shejustlookedso…athome,likeshewasfreshly-showeredandreadytosettleinforthenight.
Whatthehellwaswrongwithhim,thinkingidioticthoughtslikethat?
“Joshsaidyouowehimbecausethisguypukedonhiscouch.”
“Thatmoochingdick.”Sheshookherheadandsaid,“IfJoshdidn’tfeedhimsushiallthetime,TheDarklingwouldn’tpuke.Didhetakemybeer?”
“Onlyacouple.Doeshebabysitthecatforyouorsomething?”Blakeasked.
Thedoorbuzzerbuzzed,andsheheldupafinger.“I’lltellyouthewholestoryofthisbuildingafterIgetthat.”
“Thetip’salreadybeenchargedtomycard,sowe’regood,bytheway,”hesaid.
“Firsttheride,nowthis.Thankyou,”shesaid,openingtheapartmentdoorandgoingouttothestooptomeetthepizzaguy.Blakeheardhersay?hey,Austin,?andheshookhisheadasheheardthepizzadeliverydrivertalktoherliketheywerelifelongfriends.
Hewonderedwhy–whatthehellwaswrongwithhim–herunorthodox?everything?wascharmingthehelloutofhim.Shouldn’thebeannoyed,oratleastmarginallyputoff,byhalf-dressedwanderingcousinsandantiquestorefurniture?Whydidthosethingsjustmakehimhungriertolearneverylittlethingabouther?
Heneededtogethisshittogetherandgetthehelloutofthere.He’dgivenheraridetobenice,andbecausehewasworried,butnothinggoodcouldcomefromhangingoutatIsabellaShay’sapartment.Hewasgoingtogetinhiscarandforgetthatheevenknewwhereshelived.
Justassoonastheyfinishedthepizza.ChapterFive
Izzy
Izzycarriedthepizzaintoherapartment,herstomachemptyoffoodbutalsofilledwithbutterflies.Because–holycrap–Mr.Chestwassittingonhercouch,TheDarklinginhislap,lookinglikethecenterfoldofahot-guys-who-like-catscalendar.
Hewaswearingjeansandablacksweater,thesoftkindofgarmentthathuggedhispectorals,andsheblinkedandclosedthedoorbehindher,tryingtobecool.?But–?shit–?whatthehellwasupwiththeuniverse?
Thisman,thisincrediblycharmingandattractiveman,keptgettingthrowninherpath.
Itwasbadenoughwhentheywerejustrandomlyrunningintoeachotherinpublicplaces,butwhenhe’dshownuponthesideofthefreewayinhertimeofneed,shealmosthadn’tbelievedhereyes.
Becauseatfirst,whenhercardied,she’dbeencalm.She’dtriedcallingherbrother,andshe’dtriedcallinghercousins.Whennoneofthemhadanswered,she’ddecidedtojustwaititout.Surelyacopwouldpasseventually,seeherflashers,andrescueher.
Thenherflashersquitworkingandherphonebatterydroppeddownto2%power.She’dstartedimaginingallthethingsthatcouldhappen;acarslammingintohercar,aserialkillerhappeninguponher,lightingstriking,waterrisingenoughintheditchbesidetheshouldertosubmergehercar.She’dbeguntopanic,ultimatelydecidingtogetoutandwalk.
Afterfiveminutesofstumblingthroughthedownpour,she’drealizedtheenormityofherstupidity.She’dbeenbawlingandfreakingoutwhenshegotthetextfromBlakeandheliterallyrescuedherfromthethunderandlightning.
Soifshebelievedinfateandthatsortofmeant-to-benonsense,?andsheSOdidnot,she’dbefreakingoutrightaboutnow.??Shecouldfeelhiseyesonherasshesetthepizzaboxonthecoffeetableandwenttothekitchenfortwoplates,andshedidn’tknowwhattosay.
Shedidn’tfeelawkward,likeoneofthosetimeswhereshewassearchingforwords,butshefeltlikesheneededtoaddressthe“whatarewedoing”?elephant?intheroom.
Butbythetimeshe’dpulledherselftogetherandwalkedoutofthekitchen,Joshwasthere.HewassittingnexttoChest,shovinghalfapieceofpizzainhismouthwhilehetoldBlakeaboutagamewemadeupcalledBillboardAssholes.
“Oh,look–it’syou.Quittakingmybeerandalsoputonashirt.”IzzysetdowntheplatesandrolledhereyesasJoshignoredherandkepttalking.ShegrabbedasliceandlookedatBlake,whowasgenuinelygrinningashelistenedtoJoshexpoundupon?therulesofthegame.
“Okay,thatsoundshilarious,”hesaid,andIzzywassurprisedthathecouldlooksofun.He’dbeensohardcorebusinessyintheconferenceroomthatsheneverwould’veguessedhe’dbelaughingliketheiridioticmade-upgamewasgenuinelyfunny.?“Good,becauseyou’replaying,”Joshsaid.
“Dude,no,”Izzyreplied,shootingBlakeanapologeticlookbeforetellingJosh,“Hejustcamebytosavemefromdrowning.He’snotreallyaBillboardAssholekindofguy.”
“Howwould?you?know?”Blakeasked,givingheraknowinglook.
“BecauseIknow–trustme.Stakesarehigh,andyouwon’twin.”
“Whoa,”Blakesaid,scowling.“WhatmakesyouthinkI’dlose?”
Shepulledapieceofpepperonioffofher?sliceandsaid,“You’veneverplayed–justtrustme.You’dlose.”
“Ithinkyoucouldtotallywin,”Joshsaid,rollinghiseyesatIzzylikeshewasridiculous.
“Shutup,moron,”shesaidtohercousinasshepoppedthepepperoniinhermouth,andthenshesighedandsaidtoBlake,“Comehere.”
Shewentintothekitchenandhefollowed.OncetheywereoutofJosh’searshot,shesaid,“You’reright–Idon’tknowyou.AndI’msureyouwinatnearlyeverythingyoudo.Butnotthisgame.”
Wow–hewassotall.He?towered?overher,whichwasprobablywhyshefeltfidgetyandfrazzled.Surelyithadnothingtodowithhisattractiveness,andeverythingtodowithhumansurvivalinstincts.
Anamusedlookcrossedhisface,aslowsmile,anditlookedridiculouslygoodonhimashesaid,“I’msureIcan–”
“You’renotlistening.”Shecuthimoff.“You’reanAVPwhowearssuitsthatprobablycostmorethanourrenteverymonth.BillboardAssholesisnotforyou.”
“Well,I’min,”Blakepronounced,givingherbossyeyecontactthatmadeheratinybitflustered.Probablybecausehewasstandingcloseenoughforhertosmellhiscologneandstaredirectlyathisthroat,whichwassomehowveryappealing.“Andyou’regoingtobemypartner.”
“Whoa–thisis?Partner?BillboardAssholes?”Izzyshookherheadandsaid,“Noway–that’sevenworse.Ican’tletyouplay.”
“Whatareyou–”
“Shhh.”Shecuthimoffwithaviolentheadshakeandsaid,“Theseguysarecutthroat,andtheyplayforhighstakes.Ifyoulose,there’snogettingoutofpayingtheprice.”
“Areyoutryingto?protect?me?”heasked,hiseyesnarrowedmarginally.
“Kindof.”Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,“See,Joshandhisfriendsboughtafewbillboardsaroundtownasaninvestmentpackageafewyearsago.Butthere’sonebillboardthat’sinaterriblelocationsotheycanneverleasethespace.”
“So…?”hesaid,hiseyebrowscockedtogether.
“Sotheyuseitfortheirownentertainment.”Shetuckedherhairbehindherearsandsaid,“TheloserofBillboardAssholesgetstheirfaceputonthebillboardforanentiremonth.”
“Noshit?”hesaid,hismouthslidingintoagrin.Wow–therereally?was?amischievoussidetohimthatshewouldn’thateexploringifheweren’therbossandshewasn’tacompanypeon.Heasked,“Whatdoesthewinnerget?”
“Towritethecaption.”
Hestartedlaughing,whichmadehersmile,butthenshesaid,“No,no–Igetit.It’shilarious.Butnowyoucanseewhysomeonelikeyoucan’tplay.”
Helookedirritatedbythat.“Someonelikeme.”
“MyfacewasuponthebillboardinAugust2021withthecaption?TheFaceofHerpesCanTakeAnyForm–gettested.”
Helookedhorrifiedashelaughedandsaid,“DearGod.”
“Very?not?vicepresidential,right?”
Heseemedtoconsiderthatforamomentbeforesaying,“WellI’mnotgoingtolose.”
Sherolledhereyes.“No,youtotallywill.”
“Howcouldyouknowthat?”
“It’saverycomplexgame,”shesaid,wishingtheoverconfidenthottiewouldjusttrusther.
“Hey.”Joshcameintothekitchenandsaid,“Inorout?Wewanttogetstarted.”
IzzylookedatBlake,whowinkedatherbeforesaying,“Weare?so?in.”
“Wrong.”
Kyle,Josh’sbestfriend,smiledfromacrossthekitchentableandsaidtoBlake,“Hariboeventuallyfoundsuccesswithgummibears,butHansRiegel’sfirstproductwasactuallyhard,colorlesscandies.”
“Dammit,”Izzymuttered,impressedbyBlake’sknowledgeoftriviabutirritatedbyhisunwillingnesstoconsultherbeforejustblurtingoutananswer.
“Thatmeansthepointgoestous,”Kylesaid,lookingsmugasheputthecardbackintothebox.“Unlessyouwantaphysicalchallenge.”
“We’lltakethephysicalchallenge,”Blakesaid,lookingunfazed.Heprobablyassumeditwassomethingeasy,arandomathletictaskthatsomeonemuscularlikehimcoulddoinhissleep.
“No,wewon’t,”Izzysaid.“We’reonlydownbyone–noneedtopanic.”
“Toolate–hesaidit,”Kylesaid,reachingintotheredboxforacard.“Physicalchallengeitis.”
Izzygroaned.
“I’vegotthis–noworries,”Blakesaid.
Izzyjustshookherheadandsighed.?Typicalman,assumingheknewsomethingaboutsomethingheknewnothingabout.
Kylesaid,“Yourchallengeisasfollows.Thetwoofyoumustcrabwalk?down?thestairs,side-by-side,withoutfalling.Youmusthavehandsandfeetonthesamestepsatthesametime.Forexample,fourhandsmustbeonthesamestairatalltimes,aswellasfourfeetonthesamerespectivestep.Also,youmaynotspeaktoeachotherduringthechallenge;non-verbalistheonlyacceptableformcommunication.”
Blakeasked,“Didyousaycrab-walk?down?the–”
“Also,”Kylecontinued,ignoringBlake,“youmustsing?SomeoneLikeYou?byAdelethroughouttheentirechallenge.Anyquestions?”
Blakelookedspeechless,whichmadeIzzywanttoscream?Itoldyou!
Blakeasked,“WhatifIdon’tknowthatsong?”
“Onlyoneteammemberhastosing.Buthowdoyounotknowthatsong?”
BlakelookedatIzzyandsaid,“Do?you?knowit?”
Shelookedoffendedbythequestion.“OfcourseIdo–howdoyounot?”
JoshstartedsingingAdeleatthetopofhislungs,andeveryoneelse–whowasn’t?BlakeorIzzy?–joinedin.Therewereatotalof10peopleplaying–Izzyknewfourofthem–andthey’ddefinitelyallhittheboozeharderthanBlakeandIzzy.
“Canwehaveaone-minuteconferencebeforetimestarts?”Izzyasked.
“Forty-fiveseconds,”Kylesaid.
“Canyoushowusthecrabwalk?”Izzyknewwhatacrabwalkwasfromgymclass,buthopefullythiswassomesortofforward-facingdeviationshewasunfamiliarwith.
Joshdroppedtothefloor,proppedhimselfuponhisarmsandstartedmovingbackward.Helookedridiculous,paleandshirtlessandcrab-walkingaroundthelivingroom,andifsheweren’tsotense,she’dbecrackingup.
“You’regoingtodie,”Ellasaid,shakingherhead.ShewasKyle’sgirlfriend,andusuallystayedhomeongamenight.“There’snowayyoucandoitbackwarddownthestairs.”
“Herlegsaresomuchshorterthanmine,”Blakesaid,asifthatwouldmattertoanyofthem.Nooneevenresponded,becausethegamewasallabouthavingtodotheimpossible.
“Okay,”Kylesaid,“Readyforyourforty-five?”
IzzysaidtoBlake,“Wehavetotalkfast,allstrategy.Gotit?”
Hegaveanod,lookingasseriousashehadintheboardroom.
“Okay–we’reready,”Izzysaid.
Joshsetatimeronhisphone,andKylesaid,“Forty-fivesecondstrategystarts…now!”
“Wegoslow,”Izzysaid,“I’llnodeverytimeweshouldmovedownastep.”
“I’ll?nod,”Blakecorrected,andforsomereason,Izzytrustedthatitwastherightcall.Hesaid,“Andwerestourassesoneachstep–that’stheonlywaynottofall.”
Sheverified,“Sohands-down,assrest,feetdown,andsoon?”
“Bingo.”Blakeflexedhisjawbeforeadding,“Andtotaleyecontact–onlylookatme–sowedon’tgetdizzy.”
“Okay.AndI’llsingsuperslowtosetthetempo.”
“Ifyoustarttofall,”Blakesaid,“Forgetaboutthegame.”
“Ditto.”
“Time’sup.”
Theentirepartylefttheapartment–doorwideopen–tostandonthelandingandwatchtheevent.?Itwasjustoneflightofoldwoodenstairs,coveredwiththincarpetthatwoulddonothingtosoftenafall.
“It’sonlyonepoint,”Joshsaidtothem,lookingseriousforasecond.“Yousureit’sworthit?”
“Everypointcounts,”Izzysaid,focusedandready.
“Agreed,”saidBlake,givinganotherquicknod.
Theylookedateachother,andIzzywantedtolaughbecauseitwasobviousthathewasjustasstupidly-competitiveasshewas.Forsomeonewildlyunathletic,Izzyhadahardtimeeversayingnotoachallenge.
Hencetheherpesbillboard.
BlakeandIzzysatdownatthetopofthestairs.
“Thechallengestarts…NOW!”Kyleyelled.
“Iheard,”?Izzysang,lookingatBlake.Hegavethenod,andtheyeachproppedthemselvesintoacrabpositionbeforemovingtheirhandsdowntothefirststep.?“Thatyou’ve,settleddown.”
Hegaveanothernod,andtheybothslowlymovedtheirhandsdownyetanotherstep.Izzyfeltlikeshewasgoingtotoppleass-over-feetdownthestairs,butshekepthereyesonBlake’sfaceandfocusedontheirsynchronizedmovements.
Hewassomuchbiggerthanherthatshebarelyhadanyroomonthestep.Shehadlikeaneighthofthespace,andherentirerightsidewassmooshily-gluedtohisleftside.
Shesang,?“Thatyou–foundagirl,andyou’re–marriednowww.”
ThegroupatthetopofthestairsstartedsingingalongwithIzzy,whichwasn’tsurprisingbecauseJoshandhisfriendswenttokaraokenearly?everyweekend.
Blakenoddedagain,andtheyslowlymovedtheirassestorestonthenextstep.Anothernod,andtheyslowlymovedtheirfeet.
“Oldfrennnnd,”?Izzybeltedout,?“Whyareyousoshyyy?”
ShelookedatBlake,butinsteadofnodding,hegrinnedathersong,afull-onsmilethatshowedallofhisteethandthosegorgeousdimples.
Dimplessogorgeous,infact,thathercheekswarmedandshelaughed,whichmadeherhandslip,andtheninasplit-second,shewassomersaultingandfallingrapidlybackwarddownthestairs.
“Izzy!”SheheardBlakeyellhername–?hadheeversaidheractualnamebefore??–justasshefelltoastopagainstthedooratthebuilding’sentrance.
Thankfully,Blakewasincredibly?goodattrivia.
Afterlosingthatpoint–andstoppingthegamefortenminutessotheentiregroupcouldtendtothecutbyIzzy’seyebrow,theygotbackintoit.BlakesatbesideIzzyatthekitchentable,andtheyproceededtowinthenexteightpoints.
TeamBliz–hernamechoice,nothis–wasnowsurprisinglyin-synch.Everytimetheygotaquestion,theyputtheirheadstogetherandquietlyconferredfortheirfullfifteenseconds.
Ofcourse,themoreshedrank,themoreawareshebecameofthesizeofhim,thesmellofhim,andthedeep,rumblysoundofhisvoice.?Andalsotheshockingexistenceofhisplayfulside.Shewashaving?fun?withherteammate,comfortableasiftheywereactualfriends.
WhentheygotTedandWally’sicecreamflavorsasatopic,Izzysaid,“I’vegotthisone–stepoff.”
TowhichBlakereplied,“Yourknowledgeofjunkfoodistrulystaggering.Idefertoyourgenius.”
Shelaughedandflippedhimoff,towhichherespondedbyreachingoutandphysicallyloweringherfinger.?Whichmadeherlaughevenharderandsay,“Yousawitthistime.”
Itwasasiftheywerealreadyoldfriends,eventhoughtheywerefarfromit.
Justaftermidnight,thegamereachedanepicfinishpointwheretherewasathree-waytie.
“Physicalchallengedecidesall,”Joshsaid,grinningathisfriends.“Thewaythegamewasintended.”
Applausebrokeout,thoughmostofitcamefromthepeople?nolongerinthegame.
“Iwon’tletyoudownthistime,”IzzyquietlysaidtoBlake,leaningcloseenoughtobreatheinhiscologne.
Hereyeswandereddowntohischest,becausethatchest,whichmadehimleaninevencloserandpurr,“Myeyesareuphere.”
Shelookedupathissmirk,justabovehers,abreathaway.Theflirtymomentheld,theireyeslocked,andIzzyfeltlikeshecouldn’tbreatheforasecond.
“Timetodrawnumbers,folks,”Joshshouted,breakingthemomentasBlakelookedawayfromherandtowardhercousin.
WasithotinthereorwasitjustBlake?
Thesixofthemdrewtheirchallengesfromastackofhandmadecards,andJoshandKylewerefirstup.
Theirphysicalchallengewastorun–whilepiggybacking–downtothestopsignwaaaaydownatthecornerinundertenseconds.
“Impossible,”Blakesaid,lookingoutthebigbaywindow.“That’simpossible.”
“Nothingisimpossible,”Kylesaid,lookinglikehetrulybelievedthat.“Ifyouwantitbadlyenough.”
BlakelookedatIzzyinawaythatmadeherfeelalittle?something?inherstomach,butthemomentgotswallowedupbyeveryoneboltingfortheapartmentdoor.
Blakewentwiththem,andshefollowedclosebehind.??Therainhadletupanditwasonlysprinklingnow.
TheentiregroupcheeredasKyleclimbedontoJosh’sback.Whenhadheputashirton?TheirstrategywasforJoshtoonlyfocusonsprinting,notholdingKyle,andKylewasgoingtofocusondoinghisbesttohangon.
“It’saninterestingstrategy,”Blakesaid,talkingtoIzzywhilehewatchedthecontestants.“AlthoughIfeellikeI’mflyinghighandloosewiththewordstrategyhere.”
“Yeah,Igivethemfivesteps–tops,”shesaid,allowingherselftodrinkhiminwhilehewatchedheridiotcousingetreadytoracedowntheblock.
She’drealizedwhilethey’dbeenplayingtriviathatitwasn’tjusthisgoodlooksthatmadeheralittleswoonyaroundhim.?No,itwastheone-two-threepunchofintelligence,confidence,andcharm.Shewascertainifsomeonescreamed“Ohmigawwwdit’sthezombieapocalypse,”Blakewouldknowexactlywhattodotokeepeveryonesafeandwoulddelegateappropriately.
Whilebeingpolite.
Ofcourse,inhermind,he’dalsohavetodoalotofshirtlesswood-chopping.Therewasnoendtotheamountofwoodthey’dneedifzombieswereafoot.
“Onyourmarks.Getset.GO!”
IzzylaughedasJoshtookoffrunning,swinginghisarmsashardashecould.Kylestruggledtoholdon,chokingJoshforabriefmomentbeforegraspingathisback,andthenslowlyfallingoff,pullingJoshdownwithhim.Theybothendeduptumblingto?thepavement,lookinglikedyingJunebugsstuckontheirbackastheylaidonthepavement.Afterasolidminuteofgroaning,theysatupandcheckedtoseejust?howbadlythey’dscrapedtheirelbows.
“Areyouready?”Blakeasked.
Shelookedawayfromthem,andBlakewaswatchingherfromhisspottoherright.Hisvoicehadbeenquietandlowwhenhe’dsaidit,andithadtobethebeerthatmadeitsoundsuggestive.Shetookadeepbreathandsaid,“Oh,yeah–Iam??beyond?ready.”
Thensheandadded,“AsreadyasIcanbe.Um,whenfacedwithaBillboardAssholePhysicalChallenge,thatis.”
Itfeltlike?hisgazesharpenedwhenshesaidthat,likeherwordsshowedhimexactlywhatwashappeninginherpervertedlittlemind.Hegaveatersenodandmutteredsomethingthatsoundedlike,“FuckingAright,”butshecouldn’tbesurebecauseheturnedandwalkedtowardthebuildingtheminutethewordshadlefthismouth.
Oh-kay.
“Sowhathappensifwealllosethephysicalchallenge,”Ellaaskedasthegroupwentbacktotheapartment.
“Rock-paper-scissors,”Joshreplied.
“You’rekiddingme,”Izzysaid,touchinghertenderforeheadwithherindexfinger.“WeriskatriptotheERforagamethatboilsdowntoaplaygroundgameofrock-paper-scissors?”
Helaughedandlookedpleasedwithhimself.“Well,ourversionincludesanactualrock,asharppairofscissors,andawall-sizedsheetofflypaper.”
Sheshookherhead.“Godhelpusall.”
Whentheyallmadeitbackinside,thenextphysicalchallengewasfloorlava.EllaandherfriendClairehadtomakeittoeveryroomoftheapartmentwithouttheirfeettouchingthehardwoodfloor.Itmight’vesoundedsimple,butalas,itwasnot.TheyeachfellhardenoughtomakeevenBlakelaugh-cryastheyleaptfromthecouchtothekitchentablelikeincrediblyclumsyflyingsquirrels.
Assoonasthelaughterdied,Joshreachedfortheirchallengecard.
“Okay,”Blakesaidtoher,leaningcloser.“It’sdoordietime.Theotherteamsfailed,sowejusthavetocompletethisonetinychallengeandwewin.”
Shewantedtomockhim,butshefounditsomehowsweetthathethoughtwinningaphysicalchallengewasevenpossible.Itwassooptimistic.
“Okay,TeamBliz.”Joshreadthecardandsmiled.“Supersimple.Onecompetitordoesfiftypushupswiththeothercompetitorontheirback.Theride-alongcompetitorhastobounceatennisball–onebounceperpushup.Pushupsmustbecontinuous,asdoesthebouncingoftheball.Youloseifyoustoporifyoulosecontroltheball.”
Onhisback.
“Also,thespectatorswillbeshootingNerffoambulletsatyoutheentiretime.”
“C’mere,”Blakesaid,grabbinghersleeveandpullingherofftotheside.Thatintenselookwasbackashesaid,“Soyou’regoingtowanttolieonmeface-down,whichI’msureyou’vefiguredout.Thatwaythebalancewon’thinderthepushups,sinceyou’llbegluedtomybody,andyoucanbouncetheballinfrontofusfairlyeasily.”
“Youwantmy…um,chestalpartsimprintinguponyourback?”
Thatmadehimbarkoutalaughandhisdarkeyescrinkledatthecorners.“Iguessyoucouldsaythat.”
Sheaskedskeptically,“Doyouthinkyoucandofiftypushupswithmeonyourback?”
Heshruggedandseemedchillaboutit.?“Maybe.Let’sgo.”
“HowdoI,um,”Izzysaid,feelingalittlefoolish.“Embark?”
Thatmadehissmirkreturn,onlythisonewasalittlebitfilthy.Hisdarkeyeswerealloverherwhenhesaid,“I’mgoingtoliedown,andthenyoucanclimbontopofme.Cool?”
Shecouldn’tmanagewords,soshejustnodded.
Blakeeffortlesslydroppedtothefloor,lyingonhisstomachwithhishandsunderhisshoulders.Izzygotdownonherknees,athisside,andgotthegigglesbecauseoftheridiculousness.Sixpeoplestoodaroundthem,Nerfgunsinhandandtrainedonthem,whileshetriedtofigureoutthebestwaytomountherboss’sboss.
“Wecandothis,Iz,”Blakesaid,givingherafacefullofconfidence.
“That’stwice,”shesaid,quietlysonooneelsecouldhear,“Thatyou’vesaidmyrealname.”
“Well,hoponandmakemesayitagainwhenwewin.”
Hedidn’tmeanthatsuggestively,didhe??Sheknewtheanswer,buthejustmadehersofuckingawareofhim.Shesaidbreathlessly,“Okay–boarding.”
Izzyclimbedontohisback,herlegsonhislegs,herchestonhisback.Joshhandedherthetennisball,andsheloweredherfacetoBlake’searandsaid,“Areyougood?”
“Fine,”hesaid,hisvoicetight,“Let’sdothis.”
“Okay,”Joshsaid,gleefully,thelittleprick.“On3,2,1–let’sgo!”
Blakestarted,andIzzygavetheballatinybounceasJosh’sfriendsunloadedtheirguns.Blakedidpush-upsfasterthanshewould’veimagined,andshecarefullygavetheballanotherbounce,gladhe’dhadasolidplan.Theballwasrightthere,infrontofher,soaslongasshekeptthebouncessmallandcontrolled,theymightpullitoff.
TheNerfbulletswereannoying,butlightenoughwheretheyjustkindofbouncedaround.Sheasked,“Youdoingokay,Blake?”
“Neverbetter,”hesaidintimewiththepush-ups,anditalmostfeltlikehemeantit.Hispushupsweresosmooth,fastandflawlessthatshestoppedfeelingguiltyaboutherweightonhim;obviouslyhecouldhandleit.
“It’stotallyunfair,”Joshsaidtohisfriendsastheyscrambledtoreloadtheirguns,“Thatthisparticularchallengewasdrawn?whenIzzybroughtthefuckingWitchertoourparty.”
Izzykeptherconcentrationonthetennisball,butshewasimpressedashellashepoundedoutthepushups.Whenhereached40,shestartedgettingexcited.?Holyshit–theyweregoingtowinaphysicalchallenge!?Thegroupstartedcountingloudly,shootingandreloadingfasteranddirectingtheiraimatIzzy’sfaceonce?itbecameclearthatBlakewasunshakable.
Shewastheweakestlink.
Whentheyhitfifty,Blakecollapsedface-downonthefloorwithIzzylyingontopofhim.Shestartedlaughingandsaidintohisear,“You’readamnhero,Mr.Chest.Nowsaymyname.”
Hestartedlaughingwhilegasping,stillfacedown,andgroaned?Izzy!?atthetopofhislungs.
Shesmiledandnodded.“That’sright,baby.Yousayit.”
Blake
“Itseemslikeadifferentnightthanwhenyourescuedme.”
“Yeah.”BlakepulledhiskeysoutofhisfrontpocketasIzzywalkedhimtohiscar.Thepartyhadjustbrokenupafteraverypainful-lookingrock-paper-scissorsbattletodeterminewhichloserwouldenduponthebillboard,andtheresidentialstreetwasincrediblyquiet.“It’sbeenasurrealfewhours.”
“Iwarnedyou,”shelaughed,andBlakejustlookedstraightahead,notlookingather.Hecouldn’t.Becausewhathe’dlearnedwhileplayingtheworld’smostridiculousgamewasthatthewayshewrinkledhernosewhenshelaughedmadehim…distracted.
He’dfoundhimselfstaring,watchingher,justwaitingforthecharminglittlecrinkle.?Likeafuckingidiot.
“Yes,youdid,”hesaid.“Ihavenoregrets,butnowthatIknow,Iappreciatewhatyoutriedtodo.”
Heclearedhisthroatandstoppedathiscar.
“Listen.Blake.”Shesetherhandonhisarm,awordlessrequestforeyecontact.Helookedather–?damn,shewasshort–?andshegrinned.“Thanksalotforsavingmefromthestorm.YouhavenoideahowbadlyIwasfreakingoutwhenyouarrived.”
“Noproblem,”hesaid,hiseyesgettingcaughtonthebowofherupperlip.
“It’sprobablymybuzztalking,”shesaid,andBlakefeltarushofsatisfactionwhenhernosecrinkled,“Butevenaftercrackingmyheadopen,Ihadagreattimetonight.”
Hehadtosmileatthat.“Ican’tbelieveI’msayingthis,butIdid,too.”
“Iknoweverythingwithusisalltiedupinworkrestrictions–andthat’sfine,”Izzysaid,“butsincewe’rebothalittletipsy,there’ssomethingIwanttosay.”
Blakewasn’ttheslightestbittipsy.He’dhadonebeeratherapartmentwhileshe’dshowered,andthatwasit.Buthealsowasn’tabouttocorrectherwhenhewasdyingtohearwhatshehadtosay,sohejustsaid,“Okay.”
Washerupperlipdifferentthaneveryoneelse’supperlip?Whatwasitaboutthattinylittlevalleythatmadehimmarginally-obsessed?Hecouldn’tkeephiseyesoffofit.
“Iabsolutelyknowthatwecannot,um,haveanysortofromanticrelationship.”Hermouthfellalittleopenandsheblinkedfast,awkwardlyadding,“Imean,notrelationship,Idon’tmeanrelationship,likeyouwantarelationship,Ijustmean–”
“Igetit.”?S
hesighedandnodded.Popped?anervouslittlegrinandsaid,“SoIguessIjustwantedtotellyouthat,um,Ithinkweshouldbehaveasiftonightneverhappened,likeweneverhungoutoutsideofwork.”
“Agreed,”hesaid,hisnosefindinghersoft,still-soapyscentamongstthesmelloftherain.
“YouwerejustbeingagoodSamaritan.Nothingmore.”Shetookastepcloser,closeenoughthathecouldseebytheglowofthestreetlightthetiniestfreckleonthebridgeofhernose,andhervoicewassoftandbreathywhenshesaid,“Butifthisnightneverhappened,woulditbethatbadtomaybe,um,justonce,toseewhatitwould’vebeenliketo–”
“Areyousuggestingwekiss?”Blakewassurprisedbyhowcalmhesoundedwhenhewasactuallytornbetweenscreaming?fuckyesholyshit?and?Igottago.?Shegnawedonherbottomlipandnodded.
Itwasaterribleidea.Itwasaterribleideaandheneededtoshutitalldown.Helookedatherupturnedface,whereher?blueeyeswerealittleheavy-lidded,buttheonlywordshemanagedtogetoutwere,“Fuck,yes.”
Izzy
Hislipscamedownonhers,justasconfidentandsure?aseveryotherthingabouthim.Hisbighandscradledherfaceandhisteethnippedatherbottomlipbeforeheangledhisheadandwentdeep.
Openinghismouthwideoverhers,histongueslidinsideassheraisedherhandstohischest,flexingherfingersagainsthispecs.?Hemadeagrowlingsoundthatshecouldfeelunderherpalmsashefedherunbridledkisses,thekindthatfeltmorelikehewastryingtoconsumeherthankissher,which?shewasSO?fuckingtherefor.
Theirbreathingwasloud,labored,andshewantedeverylittlethinghismouthwasgivingher.?Holy?shit,?theywereonfire.
Hishandsmoveddowntoherwaistandhepulledhercloser,andshewrappedherarmsaroundhisneckandfellintoit.Henippedatherlipagain,whichmadeashiverslidedownherspine,andsheheardherselfmakeanoisewhenhetracedherupperlipwithhistongue.
More.?Shejustwantedmoreashismouthmovedoverhersasiftheywerealone,inthedark,allstretchedoutonabed.
Hiskisswasallsex–reallygoodsex–andshecurledherfingernailsintothebackofhisneckasshepressedherbodyintohis,intohishardwallofachest.?Herkneesalmostbuckledwhenhishandssliddowntothecurveofherass?andpulledherflushagainsthim.?DearGod.
“Dammit,”hesaid,liftinghisheadjustenoughtogiveherawhite-hotlook.Helookedlikeafantasyvillain,alldarkeyesandcracklingintensity,andshewantedtoinhaleeverybitofthatdarkintensity.
He?said,“Whythehellisitsogoodwithus?”
“Wha…”shebreathed,notwantingtostopforconversationorafreighttrainbearingdownonthemorevenaworldwar.AllshewantedwasBlakePhillips,?alloverher.
Buthereyescaughthistorturedgazeagain,andsherealizedshewasanidiot.Nothinggoodcouldcomefromdippinghertoesinthepoolofhow-good-they-might’ve-been.Itwouldonlytakeanotherminuteofmouthsex?andthey’dbebackinherapartment;shecouldtotallyfeelthat.
Andevenifthenightwasfire–?andyes,itSO?wouldbebecauseholyshitifhecoulddopush-upswithheronhisbackwhatthehellelsecouldhedogawwwd?–itwouldonlydelaytheinevitable.
BlakePhillipshadprinciples,andtheywerewaymoreimportanttohimthanchemistry.
Sheinhaledashakybreath,droppedherhandstohersides,steppedoutofhisembrace?andbreathilysaid,“Okay.Well.Nowweknow,right?”
Hisexpressionchanged,goingfromintensetoconfused,andthenheswallowed.Gaveanodofagreementasheputhishandsinhisfrontpockets.Hisvoicewasgravellywhenhesaid,“Yes,wedo.”
“Thanksagainfortheride,andIswearthisnightneverhappened.”
“Um,you’rewelcome,”hesaid,hisfaceunreadable.“Yeah.”
Izzyturnedandwentbackintothebuilding,notdaringtoglancebackathimoverhershoulder.Shefeltridiculously,foolishlyemotional,andshejustwantedtoclimbintobedandfallasleepforthewholeweekend.Shelockedthedoorandleanedbackonit,lostinherthoughts,beforefinallydisposingofthepizzaboxandputtingonherpajamas.
She’djustclimbedintobedandturnedoffthelightwhenshegotatextnotification.
Shefumbledforherglassesbeforegrabbingthephonefromthenightstand.Shereaditinthedark,thenreaditagain.
Mr.Chest:IhadtheWEIRDESTevening,StarbucksAmy.Doyouhavetimeforabonkersstory,orareyoubusy?
Izzysatupinbedandtexted:?Firstofall,don’tbeanidiot–IALWAYShavetimeforbonkersstories.?Secondofall,doesthismeanwecanbefriends,eventhoughourcounterpartshavedecidedtogotheirseparateways?
Threesecondslater,herphonestartedringing.Blake?wascalling,andIzzy?didn’tknowifsheshouldanswerornot.??ChapterSix
Blake
Blake’sphonebuzzed,andhepulleditoutofhispocket.?Izzy:Runninglate–SOSORRY!?Blakewantedtolaughasherespondedwith:?Yes,I’maware.Weweresupposedtomeetfifteenminutesago.?Whenhe’darrivedatStarbucks,he’dbrieflyconsideredorderingaPSLforherbutthoughtbetterofit.Thewholepointofthismeetingwastodiscusswhetherornottheycouldbefriendsoutsideof?work,sobuyingherthingsprobablywasn’tagoodidea.?Izzy:IthoughtIcouldrideabikefasterthanIactuallycan.5moreminutes.?Blaketexted:Wait.Areyoutextingandpedaling?
Izzy:Notreally.EverytimeyoutextmeIhavetostopandrespond.You’remakingmemorelate.
Hepicturedherstubbornfaceandrespondedwith:Nah.
Izzy.Infact,eventhoughwejuststartedthistextconversation,I’msurethewholereasonI’mlateatallisbecauseofyou.NowleavemealonesoIcanpedal.
Blakesethisphoneonthetableandliftedhiscoffeetohismouth.Intheshorttimehe’dknownher,Izzyhadconsistentlysurprisedhim.?Andthatwasputtingitmildly.?Lessthan12hoursbefore,whenhe’dcalledheraftertheirunexpectednight,she’dignoredhiscallandsenthimatext,instead.
Blakepickeduphisphoneagainandscrolledthroughthe?exchange(forprobablythetenthtime)ashewaitedforhertoarrive.
Izzy:I’mnotansweringbecauseIneedtothink.
Blake:Um…?
Izzy:Immabhonestw/u.Ilikeuandwant2burfriend.
Blake:Wtfhappenedtoyourtexting?Areyouamiddleschoolernow?
Izzy:I’mtryingtojotdownsomeideasbeforeIlosethemsothatwasmyattemptatquick-texting.
Blake:SoIrepeatmyoriginalUm…?
Izzy:I’mpreparingsomenotesonhowwecanbefriendswithoutjeopardizingyourcareer.WouldyoubeinterestedinmeetingatStarbuckstomorrowmorningtoreview?
Blake:8am?
Izzy:Perfect.OurStarbucks?
Blakesethisphonedownagain.?Our?Starbucks.
Atthatmoment,hesaw?herthroughthefrontwindow.Shewasbentdown,lockingupanold,uglybikethatlookedtobe?somethingshemight’vepickedupatajunkyard.Shewaswearingablackpulloverwithblackleggings,andshehadamessengerbackslungacrossherbody.
Whenshestraightenedandtookoffherhelmet,thesightofherfacemadehimfeelsomethinginhisstomach.
Holyshit,werethosefuckingbutterflies?Theywere–theywerefuckingbutterflies.
Godhelphim,hewasnowtheequivalentofahormonaladolescent.
Izzy
IzzycouldbarelywalkassheenteredStarbucks,herlegslikejelly.Sincehercarwascurrentlyimpoundedbecausethecityhadtoweditbeforeshe’dhadachancetogetittowedtoagarage,shewascurrentlycar-less.?She’dfoolishlythought?nobigdeal,I’llborrowDaphne’sbike.
Theoretically,sheranfivemileseverydaysoridingabikewouldsurely?beeasier,right??Wrong.?Shedidn’tknowifitwasthebike,thehills,orherpatheticthighs,butshe’dalmostgivenupthreetimesduringherwaywardjourney.ItwasonlyBlake’svillainouseyesandhilarioustextingthatforcedhertopowerthroughthewickedlegshakes.
SheranahandoverherponytailandorderedaPSL,refusingtosearchforBlakeuntilshecaughtherbreathandhadherdrink.Sheneededtofocusonhergoalandnotbedistractedbyhisridiculousgoodlooks.
Sidenote:FreakingBlakehadbeeninherdreamlastnight,wearinglongflowingrobesandadangerousvibethatmadeherwakeupempathizingwithBellaSwan’svampiriouspropensities.WTF,right??Hergoalthatmorning,intruth,waslame.Like,sosuperlamethatshefelt,well,pathetic.Becausehergoal,inanutshell,wastoconvincehimtobeherfriend.Thatwasit–pleasebemyfriend.
Hello,firstgradeIsabella–somethingsneverchange.
“Izzy?”Thebaristayelled,readingthelabel.
“Thankyou.”ShegrabbedherdrinkandimmediatelysawBlake,sittingatatableintheback.
Daaaaamn,thatman?wasridiculous.
Hewaswearingablackhoodie,whichshould’vemadehimlookcasual,butsomethingabouthimjustscreamedimportant.Thewatch,thegoodhaircut,thebighands–well,okay,thebighandsdidn’tmakehimimportant,perse,buther?eyessureenjoyedthem;thewholepackagejustshoutedsuccessful.
“Goodmorning.”Blakesmiledupatherinawaythatmadehersmileback,andshewasgladhewasn’toneofthoseguyswhostoodupforawoman.Sheknewthegesturecamefromatraditional,respectfulplace,butitalwaysmadeherfeelawkwardandlikeshewasalittlelessofanadultthantheman.
“IamsosorryI’mlate.”Shepulledoffherbag,setitononeoftheextrachairsatthetable,andsatdown.“Asitturnsout,I’materriblecyclist.”
“Icould’vepickedyouup,”hesaid,hisdarkeyeswarmashewrappedabighandaroundhiscup.
Shereallyhadtoforceherselftostopthinkingaboutthosebighandsonherfaceashe’dkissedtheeverlovingshitofhermerehoursbefore.
“Nope,”shereplied,reachingovertounzipherbag.“Againsttherules.”
“Wehaverules?”heaskedwithaneyebrowraised.
“Themostimportantpartofmyplan,actually,”shesaid,takingoutherlaptopandturningiton.“Aretheunflinchinglyrigidrules.”
“Didyousleepatalllastnight?”heasked.
Izzylookedupfromhercomputer,andhewasaskingitsosweetly–pairedwithsuchaconcernedlook–thatsheswallowedhard.Goodlord,questionslikethat–fromhim–couldtotallydestroyher.
Shelookeddownathercomputer,feelingalittleshaky,andsaid,“Yeah,IonlyneedfourhourssoI’mgood.”
Blake
Ashewatchedherunlockingherlaptopandclickingintofiles,Blakethoughtitwascoolthatshewasn’twearingmakeup.Notinasexist“shedoesn’tneedit”or“Ilikethenaturallook”way–hell,hedidn’tgivearat’sasswhoworewhat?–buthewasgladshedidn’tfeelcompelledtoputitoninordertomeethimatStarbucks.?Itmadehimfeellikeshewascomfortablewithhim.
“Okay.So.”Sheturnedherlaptopsohecouldseethedisplayandsaid,“Scoochcloser.”
Blakewantedtolaughwhen,afterhefollowedherdirective,shesaid,“Goodboy.”
SheopenedaPowerPointfileandstartedtalking.“Aswebothknow,youaremybossatEllis,whichmeanswecannothaveanysortofromanticrelationship–orcontact–whatsoever.”
“Correct,”hesaid,eventhoughhedidn’tlikethewayitfeltinhismouth.He?did?likethebigredXshe’dputovertheirnamesonherslide,though;thatwasprettyfunnyshit.
“Sincethatisnon-negotiable,”shesaid,advancingtothenextslide,“Wecanneverbealonetogether.”
Blakecoughedoutalaugh.“Thatseemsalittleextreme,don’tyouthink?”
Heregrettedittheinstanthesaidit,becauseshelookedembarrassed.Butbeforehecouldbacktrack,shesaid,“Doyoutrustustofinishthismeetinginyourcar?Oratmyapartment?”
Holyshit,shewasright;theycouldneverbealonetogether.He’dbeenstaringathermouthsincethemomentshe’dsatdown,rememberingthewayit’dfelttokissher.?“Touché,”hesaid.“You’reright.”
Shenoddedveryseriously.“Sorulenumber1–we’reneveralone.”
“Okay,”hesaid.?“IreadtheentireEllisemployeehandbooklastnight,”shesaid,rubbingherlipstogetherlikesheneededChapstick,beforeadding,“Andthereisnorulethatsaysanexecutivecannotbefriendswithasubordinateoutsideofwork.”
Blaketiltedhisheadandwatchedherresoluteface.?Ireadtheentirehandbook.?Thirtysecondsagohewould’vemadeajokeaboutitbeingherjobtoreadthehandbook,butnowitsunkin–she’dreadtheentirehandbooktoprepareforthisconversation.
“Soifyou’reinterestedinpursuingacasualfriendship–andit’stotallyfineifyou’renot–Ihavesomeideasonhowwecankeepitwithintherules.”?Herbluegazemovedfromhercomputertohisface,andhewonderedifitwerepossibleforhimtosaynotoher,whenshewasgivinghimthateyecontact,evenifhewantedto.?Whichhedidn’t.
Izzy
Izzylookedathim,feelinglikeatotalderp.
Shefeltlikeshewasbegginghimtobeherfriend,andasmuchasshedidn’twanttodothat,shealsoknewshe’dregretnotthrowingitoutthere.?Justincasehedid.?Becausethetruth?ofitwas,Izzyfeltlikeshedidn’tknowhowtomakefriends.
Maybeshehadatonetime,butsheclearlydidn’tknowhowtodoitasanadult.?Inhighschool,shehadthefriendsthatshe’dalwayshad,sincekindergarten.Incollege,she’dimmediatelystartedhangingoutwithherdorm-assignedroommate,who’dbeenherbestieforallfouryears.?ButwhenshemovedtoOmahaaftergraduationtotakeagrown-upjob,thingsweredifferent.
Shehadalotofniceco-workers,butshe’dneverputherselfouttheretomakethoserelationshipsanythingotherthanworkplaceacquaintances.Like,howdidthatwork??Hi,canIplaywithyouguys??Theideaofdoingthatmadehertooanxious,soshe’djustsaidgoodbyetothosepeopleeverydayatfiveandwenthome.
Rinseandrepeatuntilnow.
ThankGodhercousinswerefun.Itwaspatheticthatatthemomenttheywereheronlyfriends,butthatwas,infact,herreality.
Butshe’dconnectedwithBlakeinsuchanaturalway.Shewastotallyherselfandhadablastwithhim,andshedidn’twanttolosethat.
Hiseyeswereonherface,intenseenoughtomakehernervous,andthenhesaid,“Keeptalking,Iz.”
Iz.?Oh,God.?Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,“IcometothisStarbuckseverymorning.Mostlyatseven,ifIwakeupontime.Soifyoueverwantacoffeeonaweekdayandhappentobehere,andwerunintoeachother,it’stotallyacceptabletositdownandhaveacoffeetogether,right?”
Hismouthtwitched,likehewantedtosmile,buthegaveanod,instead.
“Now,”Izzysaid,encouragedthathewasstayingwithher.“IgotoTheBookwormafterworkeveryTuesdaytolookat?newreleases.IfIranintoyouthereandwehappenedtochatwhilebookshopping,well,thatwouldbeabsolutelyabove-board.”
“Agreed.”
“Thisway,nothingisalie.Ifweseeaco-worker,weactually?did?runintoeachothersoit’scompletelylegit.”
Blakedidgrin,then,andsaid,“TheyhaveanincrediblehappyhouratUpstreamthatIoftenhit?afterworkonThursdays.Iusuallybelly-uptothebarandhaveapizzafordinner,andifyouhappenedtoshowuponthestoolbesideme,alsoeating,thatwouldjustbeawildcoincidence.”
Izzycouldn’tbecool–shebeamedathim.“IloveUpstream!”
Hegrinnedback.“Same.”
Theyspentthenexttenminutessharingtheirhabitualschedules,tossingoutahandfulofoccasionswheretheymightpossiblyrunintoeachother.Izzycreatedaspreadsheetandaddedthemall,emailingacopyofit?toBlake(hispersonalemail,ofcourse),justincasehewishedtoreferenceitatalaterdate.
“Soweshouldprobablycovertextingnext,”shesaid,takingadrinkofherPSL.
“Youhavetextingrules.Ofcourse,”hesaid,andhissmallsmileremindedherofEdwardin?PrettyWoman?whenhewasnegotiatingVivian’spayment.
“Well,Ithinkthatifwebothagreetoneverdiscusswork,neverdiscusspeoplefromwork,andnevertextduringworkinghours,thentextingisprobablyafeasibleformofcommunication.”
“Andphonecalls?”he?asked,hisdarkeyestwinklingwithamusement.
Izzywashappy?he?hadasked,becauseshereallylikedtalkingtohimonthephone.Whichwasweirdbecauseshewasanavidphone-talking-hater.?“Ithinkthesameruleswouldapply,don’tyou?”
“Samerules,”heagreed,nodding?yetagain.
“So,”Izzysaid,closingherlaptopandrestingherchinonherhand.“Didwejustbecomebestfriends?”
“Depends,”hesaid,givingherasmirk.
“On?”
“Onwhatitmeanstoyou.”Hishandswerewrappedaroundhiscup,andIzzynoticedhehadnicefingernails.Hesaid,“Ifyouwantsomeonetobailyououtofjailorbeyourbloodbrother,I’mnottheguy.”
“I’mnotthat?guy,either,”Izzyagreed.
“ButifitmeansIgettocomegetyouwhenyourcarbreaksdownintherain,thenyes,weare.”
“Nope–sorrybuddy.Can’tbealonetogether.”
“Comeon–therehavetobeexceptions,”hesaid,hiseyebrowsgoingdown.
“Idon’tthinkthat’swise,”shereiterated.
“Areyousure?”heasked,mimickingherbyputting?his?chinon?his?hand.“Becauseabestfriendwhocangiveyouandyourlandfillbikearidehomewouldbeprettyhandyrightaboutnow,wouldn’tit?”
Blake
Blakewatchedashereyesgotsoft,asshesmiledadreamylittlesmile.“That?would?benice,butIthinkwehavetokeeptheselinesclear.”
“You’retellingmethatifIcalledyou,strandedonthesideoftheroad,youwouldn’tsaveme?”
Sherolledhereyesandsaid,“Youhaveaverynicecar,Blake.Youdon’tneedmebecauseyouhaveroadsideassistance.”
Hepursedhislipsandtriedagain.“IfIcalledyoubecauseIwastoodrunktodrive…?”
“I’dgetanUberformybestieBlake.”
Hesighed,?irritated,whichdidn’tmakeadamnbitofsensebecauseshewasright.“Fine.Youcanrideallfourmilesonthatgarbagebike.”
“Yousawit?”Shesatbackinherchairandgavehiman?embarrassedgrin.“It’sprettybad,right?I’llprobablywalkithalfthewayback,tobehonest.”
“Izzy–”
“Nope.”?Heclenchedhisjaw,notusedtofeelingpowerless.“There’snoconvincingyou?”
Sheshookherheadandsaid,“Afraidnot.”
“Well,whatifIdriveyourbikehome?andcallyouanUber?”Theobsessivepartofhimthatalwaysneededtofindthesolutiontoaproblemwasspinningincircles.
Shelookedlikeshewantedtosayyes.Sheaskedhim,“WouldyouminddroppingthebikeatmybuildingandI’lljustrunhome?”
“Deal.”
“You’resuchagreatbestfriend,”shesaid,grinning,andhewonderedwhyhewasplayingwithfirewhileatthesametimeknowinghewasn’treadytostopanytimesoon.
“Soaboutthisfriendship.”Hereachedforhiscupandsaid,“Isitsomethingwetalkabout?”
“What’sthefirstruleaboutFightClub?”Izzyasked.
“Inmycase,itwouldbetowatchFightClub.”
Shesquintedathimandsaid,“Youhaven’tseenFightClub?Isn’tthatinthemancharteror,like,pledgeyoutakeeveryday?”
“Iknowofnosuchcharterorpledge,”hesaid,tryingtorememberhowmanydaysit’dbeensincetheymet.Becausesomehow,justlikethat,hefeltlikehe’dknownherforever.
“Well,everyoneknowsthefirstruleoffightclubisnottotalkaboutit.”
“Don’tyouthink,sinceit’safightclub,thatthefirstruleshouldbesomethingsavageliketherearenorules,ormaybetheonlywayoutisthroughdeath?”
“Blake.Focus,”shesaid,feigningexasperationassheslowlyshookherhead.“WhatI’msuggesting,clearlywiththewronganalogy,isthatweprobablyshouldn’ttalkaboutitatwork.”
“Agreed.”
Theyrelaxedalittleafterthatandhadanothercoffee,discussingtheNFLmatchupsthatdayanddiscussingpotentialfantasytradestheyeachmightmake.Ironically,theybothhadteamsinEllisfantasypools,justdifferentleagues.?WhenitwastimetoleaveandBlakewasloadingherbikeintothetrunkofhisSUV,heheardhimselfsay,“Izzy,whatifyousitinthebackseat?”
“What?”Shesethermessengerbag?inthetrunk,sinceshecouldn’trunwithit,andgavehimalook.“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Ifyousitinthebackseat,nothingcanaccidentallytranspirebetweenus.”
Shefurrowedherbrowsandtiltedherhead,consideringtheidea.“Hmmm…I’mnotsure.”
“FortheloveofGod,Iz,”hesaid,slammingthebackdoorclosedandlookingdownatherlikeshewasachild.“Getinthedamnbackseat.”
Hereyesnarrowedandhethoughtshewasgoingtodebateyetagainandmakehimlosehismind,butthenhermouth–goddamn,?thatmouth–?slidupintoasexygrin.Shegaveherheadashake,shruggedhershoulders,andsaid,“MybestfriendmakesmesitinthebackseatofhiscarlikeI’malittlebittybabychild.Nice.”
Shewalkedaroundhim,openedthepassenger-sidebackdoor,andclimbedintohiscar.?Andallhecouldthink,ashegotinandbuckledhisseatbelt,was?Ifuckinglovemynewbestfriend.?ChapterSeven
Izzy
Izzylookedatherwatch–almostnoon.
Sheignoredthegrowlinherstomachandwishedtimewouldmovefaster.Herbreakfast–acanofRockstarandachocolatepoptart–wasnolongerdoingthetrickandsheneededsustenance.Sheusuallyatelunchat11a.m.likeaseniorcitizen,butthatday,shewasholdingoutuntil12:30.
Noreason–shejustfeltlikewaiting,shethoughtasshegotouthercompactandaddedalittleblushandlipglosstoherface.
Thirtyminuteslater,whenthealarmonherwristbuzzed,shestuckherdebitcardinthepocketofherskirtandstood.Grabbingherblackpeacoat,sheslidherarmsintoitassheleftheroffice,headingfortheexitlikeherasswasonfire.
Shefeltnervousassherodetheelevatordown,whichwasridiculousbecauseshewasjustgrabbingfood.It’swhatpeopledidatlunchtime,right?Nothingweirdaboutthat.Justbecausesheknewthat?certainpeople?enjoyedtheMondayspecialsatCaniglia’sfoodtruck,andtheyusuallytooktheirlunchsometimebetween12:30and1:00–well,thatshouldn’tmakehernervous.?Lots?ofpeopledidthat.
Shepulledoutherphone?asshewalkedthetwoblockstothemobileItalianrestaurant,snugglingdeeperintohercoat.ItwasoneofthoseearlyOctoberdayswherethesunwaswarm,theleaveswerebright,andthechillintheairkissedthetipofyournose.
Notexts.Itwasn’tasurprise,really,thatBlakewasradio-silentduringtheworkday;hewasall-business,afterall,andthey’djustagreedupontheirrules.
Yesterday,however,afterhe’ddroppedherandthebikeoffatherbuilding,they’dprettymuchbeeninanendlesstextingconversationfortheentirerestoftheday.Butitwasaweekendday–totallylegal.
She’dtextedhimwhiletheyeachwatchedthesamefootballgame,she’dtextedhimasshe’dgonedownintothecreepybasementtodolaundry,andshe’dtextedhimwhileshe’dgivenTheDarklingabath.Forsomeonesoabove-board-executive-likeinperson,hewassurprisinglyfunonthephone.
Thismorning,whenshe’dbeenwalkingtowardtheEllisbuilding(shehadtotakethebusdowntownbecausehercarwasstillimpounded),she’dfeltherphonebuzzinherpurse.Whenshepulleditout,Blakehadtexted:?Icanseeyoufrommywindow.
TheEllisbuildingwasanall-windowedskyscraper,andeventhoughsheknewBlakeworkedonthe15th?floor,shehadnoideawhereexactlythatwasonthefaceofthebuilding.Soshe’dstoppedandresponded:?Youhavetobelying.
Blake:Blacktights,blackboots,blackcoat,redpurseand—isthatapieceoftoastinyourhand?
Shelaughedandtextedback:?APopTart.Putdownthehigh-poweredbinoculars,creeper.
Blake:Iwassimplylookingoutthewindow,andthereyouwere.Shockedthehelloutofme,tbh.
Izzy:CanyoutellwhatI’mdoingnow?
She’dswitchedPopTarthandssoshecouldholdupherarmand?flipoffthebuilding.
Blake:NotveryHRofyou.
Izzy:CanyoutellwhatI’mdoingNOW?
Shestartedhoppingononefoot.
Blake:Makingaspectacleofyourself.
Izzy:Nooneiswatchingmebutyou.
Blake:Themanbehindyoubegstodiffer.
Sheturnedaround,butnoonewaswalkingbehindher.
Blake:Madeyoulook.
Hisidiotictextingputherinagreatmoodasshe’dbreezedintowork,andithadn’twanedallday.Butnow,forsomereason,shewasnervoustoseehim.Eventhoughthey’dsharedtheirfrequentwhereaboutswiththesolepurposeofpossiblyrunningintoeachother,whatifhedidn’twantherthere?Whatifhe’dchangedhismindanddidn’twanttobehersort-offriend?
Really,itwasjustalittlenerve-wracking,beingthefirstonetocasuallyhappenupontheplacethattheotheronehappenedtomentiontheymightbevisiting.Feltalittlestalker-y,ifshewerebeinghonest.
Itwasnobigdeal,shetoldherselfassheturnedontothenextblock.
Heprobablywasn’tthere,anyway.
Blake
Hecouldtellitwasher,eventhoughshewasstillahalf-blockaway.Heleanedagainstthefrontofthebuildingandthoughtitwasthesameaswhenhe’dhappenedtoglanceouthisofficewindowthatmorningandimmediatelyspottedherdownonthestreetbelow.
Fuckingweird,that.
Heputhishandsinhispocketsandallowedhimselftowatchher,becausetherewasnowayshecouldseehimyet.Herhairwasdown,blowinginthefallbreeze,andsheremindedhimofMegRyanin?You’veGotMail?withherdarktights,skirt,woolcoatandscarf.
Sheshouldhaveadamnpumpkinunderherarmandacoffeeinherhand,hemused.
Butashewatchedherwalkinginhisdirection,hefeltthemagain.
Fuckingbutterflies.
Whatinthehellwas?with?that?
Nope.Fuckthat.Notbutterflies,noway.Ifhewereinterestedinher,thewayhisstomachfeltatthatmomentmightpossiblybebutterfly-related,buthewasn’t,washe?Inallactuality,whathewasfeelingwasjust,shit,uh…gladness.
Seriously–gladness?
Yes,hewasjustgladtoseeafriend.Lunchwithabuddywasbetterthanlunchalone,sohewassimplygladtoseeher.
Thatwasall.
Blakestraightenedandwalkedovertothefoodtruck,gettinginline.Helookedatthemenuboardforasolidtensecondsbeforeheheard,
“Blake?”
Heturnedaround,and?shit.?Shewassmilingupathimwiththatmouth,thoselips,andthesoftsmellofherperfumewascomingathimlikesomekindofa…uh…shit,?somethinghecouldn’tignore.Orsomething.
Whatthefuckwaswrongwithhim?
Hercheekswerepink,hereyesbright,andhischestfeltalittletightashelookedatherlipstick.
“Ithoughtthatwasyou,”shesaidwithateasingglintinhereyes.
“It?is?me,”hereplied,unabletostophimselffromgrinningback.“Areyououttrollingforcalzone,too?”
Sheleanedinalittlecloserandsaid,“Tobehonest,I’veneverbeenafanofthedough-domepizzathattheycallcalzone.Ilikemyslicesbig,open,andmelty.Justlikemymen.”
“Didyouseriouslyjustsaythat?”
“Iknow–ew.Iwastryingsomething.”Shecrinkledhernose,narrowedhereyesandsaid,“Idon’tthinkIstuckthelanding.”
“Idon’tthinkso,either.”Blaketurnedhisattentionbacktothemenuandsaid,“Theirfriedravioliisgood.”
“Isitricottacheese-filled?”sheasked.
“Ithinkso,”Blakesaid,lookingather.“Why?Isthatbad?”
Shenoddedandsaid,“Ricottaislumpyanddisgusting,likecurdledmilkmixedwithcottagecheese.Butifyoulikespoiledfood,whoamItojudge?Enjoy.”
“Oh,Iwill,”hereplied,thinkingofherpoptart–andemptyfridge–andwonderingifshewasapickyeater.Butashelookedather–asshelookedupathim,wearingashittylittlegrin–itheldforjustamomenttoolong.Somethingpassedbetweenthem,amemoryoranawareness,beforesheclearedherthroatandturnedherattentiontothemenu.
Said,“Dotheyhavegoodspaghetti?”
Blakejustlookedatherprofile,hisbrainslowtomoveonandcomprehendherwords.Whenshedidn’tturntohim,hesaid,“Nooneknowstheanswertothatquestionbecausewhowouldbestupidenoughtoorderspaghettifromafoodtruck?”
“Iwould,”shesaid,stilllookingatthemenu.“Ilovespaghettiandspaghettiisonthemenu,sojudgemenot.”
“Butyoucan’twalkandeatspaghettiatthesametime,dipshit.”
That?madeherlook,andthenhergrinwasback.“NowIhaveto–challengeaccepted–whichwillbeacolossalmistakeforwhichI’llblameyouallday.Everytimesomeonelooksattheblobsofmarinaraonmyshirt,Ishallcurseyourname.”
“Ithoughtthatwasadress,”hesaid,andthelookshegavehim–foreheadcrinkle–madeitclearthatshewasjustasshockedbyhisasinineawarenessofherattireashewas.?Whatthefuckwasthat?
“Yeah,um,”shesaid,raisingahandtopushherhairbehindherear,“It’saskirtandtop.”
“Ah,”hesaid,gaveanod,andsteppeduptotheorderwindow,needinganescapefromthatmomentofidiocy.Heloweredhisvoiceandordered.“CouldIpleasegetthespaghetti?”
Heheardherquietlylaughandthenshesteppedbesidehimandsaidtothesecondcashier,“Iwouldlikethespaghetti,andcanIalsogetasliceofcheesepizzaandapieceofgarlicbread,please?”
HeopenedhismouthtocommentwhenIzzywhippedherheadtowardhim,pointedafingerandsaid,“Don’tsayaword–I’mhungry,okay?”
Hedidn’tknowwhy,buthecouldn’t?not?smile.Helookedatthefrecklesonhernoseandsaid,“WhatwouldIevensay,Iz?”
Izzy
“Soletmegetthisstraight,”Blakesaid,hisfacerelaxedbehinddarksunglassesashewalkedbesideher.Hewaslookingstraightahead,?hishandsinthepocketsofhisperfectly-pressedsuitpants.?“Thehousethatyouaccidentally“forked,”whichIcan’tevenbelieveisathing,wasbeingwatchedbytheFBI.”
“Yep.”Izzytookasipofhersodaastheywalkedbacktowork.“Forkedthewronghouse,whichturnedouttobetheresidenceofsomequestionablemembersofasataniccult.Sonotonlydidwegetpickedupbythefeds,butwewerequestionedatthestationandalsogotMIPsbecausewehadabottleofvodkainthetrunk.”
“Wow.”Helookedatherthen,andeventhoughhiseyeswerecovered,sheknewtheyweresquintingbecausehisdimpleswereout.“Yourhighschoolexperiencewas?very?differentfrommine.”
“Whenthere’snothingtodo,youmakethingshappen,Phillips.”IzzysawtheEllisbuildingattheendoftheblock,andshewasbummeditwastimetogoback.EventhoughBlakewasherpolaroppositeandthekindofguy(hot,successful)whousuallymadehernervous,shefelttotallycomfortablearoundhim.
Shehad?fun?withhimbecauseshewasabletorelaxandbeheruncoolself.
“Iforgottoask,”hesaid,glancingoveratherastheywalkedaroundawomanandherdog,aFrenchbulldogwhowassittingonthesidewalkwithzerointentionofmoving,“Didyougetyourcarback?”
“Idon’twanttotalkaboutit,”Izzysaid,rollinghereyesandlookingoverathim.“Inordertogetitoutofjail,Ihavetotakethetitletotheimpoundlot?and?payafewhundredbucks.”
“Oof,”hesaid,andshecouldfeelhisgazeonher,eventhoughhiseyeswerecoveredbyRay-Bans.
“Oof,indeed,”shereplied.“Becauseafterthat,Igettohaveittowedtoamechanic,whowillprobablytellmeit’sgoingtocostafortunetofix.”
“Noideawhat’swrongwithit?”heasked.
“Nope,”shesaid,lookingdownatthescarredsidewalkasshetriednottothinkabouthowlittlemoneysheactuallyhadinherbankaccountatthemoment.“ButIdidn’thatetakingthebustoday,soperhapsthisisa?chancetoreexaminemyvehicularneeds.”
“Yeah,buthowfaristhebusstopfromyourapartment?”
“Onlya?fewblocks.”
“Doyoureallywanttohavetohoofitafewblocksinthesnow?”Hisvoicewasfullofadulty?concernasheadded,“Inthedark?Intherain?”
ThatremindedIzzyofthedarkandrainynightwhereshe’dkissedBlake,andherstomachdidalittleflipofitsownaccord.Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,“No,butI’malsonotgoingtothrowalotofcoinintoacarthat’sfifteenyearsold.”
Helookedather–shecouldseehiseyesthroughthesunglassesnowbecausethesunwashittingthe?lensesjustright–anditfeltlikehewashavingsomesort?ofinternalconversationwithhimselfashejustwatchedher.Hedidn’tsayanything,andwhentheystoppedatthecornertowaitonthelight,hesaid,“Whataretherulesaboutcarrepairs?”
“What?”Izzytossedhercupintothetrashcannexttothecrossinglightandputherhandsinherpockets.“Whatdoyoumean?”
Thelightchanged,andtheystartedwalkingagain.Blakesaid,“Ifyouwantedtohaveittowedtomyplace,Icouldtakealookatit.”
ThatmadeIzzystumbleinthemiddleofthestreet,whichmadeBlakegrabherarmandsay,“Easy,Shay.”
Easy,Shay.?Good?God–whatwashetryingtodotoher?Sincethemomentshe’dmethim,hisentireexistencehadbeenanassaultonherovaries.Andnowhewasgoingtoaddcar-fixingandstumble-stoppingtothedopamineequation?
SheneededholywaterorgarlicSTAT,although?thatfleetingsarcasticthoughtbroughttomindanimageofBlakehaving?unholywaterpouredoverhismassivechest?likesomekindof?hotguywett-shirtcontest?participant.
Sogarlicitis.
Izzywasdisappointedwhenhereleasedherarm,whichwasaludicrousreaction,soshesaid,“Idon’tthinkthat’sprobablyallowable.Butthankyou.”
Hegaveheran?eyebrowraiseandsaid,“Whynot?”
Sheshrugged.“Idon’tknow,itjustseemstoopersonal.”
Hegrabbedthesleeveofhercoatandtugged.Itstartledher,thejerkingmotionthatmovedheralittleclosertohim,buthismouthslidintoasmirkbeforehestartedpullingheralongbehindhimashewalkedtowardthealleytotheirright.
“Whatareyoudoing,Phillips?”
“Gettingyoutolistentoreasonbeforewegobacktowork,?Shay.”
Heletgoofhersleeveoncetheywereoutoffoottraffic.Hetookoffhissunglasses,andshe?felt?thegoldflecksofhisintensebrowneyesashesaid,“Hearmeout.I’mstillall-inonrule-followingforus,butyou’remyfriend,Iz.IfIcanfixyourcarandsaveyouafortune,whywouldn’tthatbeokay?”
Becauseitwouldfeellike…something.Somethingfromadaydreamaboutboyfriendsworkingontheirgirlfriend’scar.
Sidenote:Everytimehecalledher“Iz,”asexangelgotitswings.
“Becauseofmoney,maybe?”Shecouldn’tthinkallofasudden,butsheknewtherewasareason.?Reasons…reasons…whatwerereasonsagain??Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,?“You’remyboss,sothere’sgottobearuleaboutmepayingyouforservices.”
“LikeI’dchargeyou,”hesaid,soundingdisgustedandhiseyebrowsslammeddown.
“Well?I?wouldhavearuleaboutthat,then,Blake,”Izzysaid,tuckingherhairbehindherearsandlookingupathisperfectly-trimmedstubble.“NowaywouldIletyoufixmycar?without?payingyou.”
“Thenyoucanpaymewithafavor,”hesaid,andshewatchedasithit.He’dsaiditinnocently,casuallyofferingtoworkfornothing,buthiseyesgothotwhenherealized.Hisvoicesoundeddeeper,rougher,whenherespondedwith,“I’msureIcancomeupwithsomething.”
Theairinthealleysuddenlygotthickandquiet,liketheywereunderwater.Thecitysoundsdisappeared,andIzzysworeshecouldhearherheartbeatingandherbreathcatch.Sheswallowed,andhervoicewashuskywhenshesaid,“I’msureyoucan,too.”
“Ifwewerealone,”hegrowled,hisvoicenearlyawhisperashismouthloweredtoherear.“Ithinkwecouldnegotiateaverygooddeal.”
“Iknowwecould,”Izzysaid,hereyelidsheavyasshefelthisbreathonherneck.
Everynerveendinginherbodywascracklingandstrainingtowardhim,andshewasalmostlosttoitwhensheheardacarhorninthedistance.
Yes,you’reinanalley,dumbass.
Izzy’seyeswentwideandshesuckedinabreath.“Whichiswhyweneedtogetbackonthesidewalk?now.”
Heliftedhisheadandsmileddownather.“We’reinthecenterofthecityduringlunchtimeonaweekday–farfromalone.Ithinkwe’resafe.”
“Youdon’tthinkthisalleyfeelsprivate?”Sheblinked,feelingdisorientedashepointedthatgazeather,andshebreathed,“Ifeelallaloneinthedarkwithyouhere.”
Theinstantitlefthermouthsheregrettedit,becauseBlake’slanguidsmiledroppedaway.Hisjawclenchedandhejustlookedatherforafewsecondsbeforehesaid,“Izzy–”
“Ohmigosh–Ihavetogetback.”Shepastedagrinonherfaceandtookastepbackfromhim,mortified.Obviouslyshe’dbeentheonlyoneonthevergeofcombustion,andsheneededtogetthehelloutofthere.Hervoicewastooloudandperkywhenshesaid,“Youmaybeabletotakelonglunchesbecauseyou’reMr.FancyVP,butthislowlygeneralisthastobeontime.I’mgoingtosprintbackandI’llseeyoulater.”
Hiseyebrowswentdownagain.“Iz–”
“Bye!”Izzyturnedandliterallystartedslowjogging,knowingshelookedlikeamoronbutunabletostopherselfbecausesheneededtoputspacebetweenherselfandMr.Chest.
AllshewantedinherquietlittlelifewastokeepherfriendBlakeandtoembarkuponapromisingcareeratEllis,butifthosethingsweregoingtohappen,sheneededtofindawaytobecoolwhenshewasclosetohim.
Therehadtobeawaytospeaktohimwithoutmeltingintoanendorphin-riddledpuddleofgoo,right?
Itwasn’tuntilshegotbacktoheroffice–sweatyandstillembarrassed–andsatdownbehindherdeskthatshesawhe’dsentamessage.
Blake:IhaveaPlanB,Iz,sodon’tfreakout.CanIcallyouatsix?
PlanB?Whatdidthatmean?Izzysighedandcontemplatednotresponding,buttexted:?I’llbediningwithTheDarkling,butIsupposehewon’tmindifItakeacall
Blake:Excellent.Also,youlookedVERYcoolslow-joggingthroughmidtowninhigh-heeledboots,FYI.
Izzy:Oh,Iknow.
Izzyloggedbackintohercomputerandwasjustgettingstartedonaheadcountreportwhenherphonebuzzedagain.
Blake:Ijustfoundamarinarastainonmytie,soIthinkI’veprovedmypointaboutspaghetti.
Shesmiledandshookherhead,eventhoughshewasaloneinheroffice.
Izzy:Servesyouright–thewholethingwasyourfault(itdidn’thavetobelikethat).Ihaveanorange,Saturn-shapedstaininthecenterofmyshirt,soyourtieischild’s-play.#CountYourBlessings
Blake:Haveagoodafternoon,StarbucksAmy.
Izzy:Sametoyou,ChestieMcBestie.????ChapterEight
Izzy
Izzytookabiteofherpizza,setdownherplateandliftedtheringingphonetoherear.“It’s5:55–you’reearly.”
“Wantmetocallbackinfive?”Blakeasked.
Shewipedhermouthwithanapkinandsaid,“Nah,butyou’regoingtohavetolistentomefinishthislastpieceofpizzaandit’ssogoodI’mmakingbedroomnoises.”
“Gah–pleaseno.Pizzaagain?”Helaughedintothephone.“It’sonlybeenafewhourssinceyourlastpiece.”
“Yourpoint?”
“Forgetit.”
TheDarklingmeowedfromhisspotonthefloor,wantingherlap,butshehadnointerestincat-hairpizza.“Whatdid?you?havefordinner,Phillips?Abrickofkale?Fifteenchickenbreasts?Somethingfromthetofufamily?”
“Thoseareseriouslyyourguesses?”
“Iusedtoworkwiththissuperswoleguy,andheliterallyatefivechickenbreastseverydayatwork.”Shecouldn’trememberhisname,butonetimehe’dshowedheravideoofhimselfliftingweightsandthenhe’dbeenpissedwhenshe’dlaughedatthenoisehemade.?Itwasareallyweirdnoise.?“Heateonebreastduringeachfifteen-minutebreak,andthreeforlunch.”
Blakesaid,“Dopeoplestillsayswole?”
“Idon’tknow,buttheyshould.”Shefinishedherlastbiteofpizza,wipedherhandsonhernapkinandflippedon?LittleHouse.“Sookay–Ibetyouhadaveggieburritoandsweetpotatotots.”
Hisdeep,quietlaughcausedhertosnugglealittledeeperintothesofacushions.Hesaid,“That’s?really?specific.”
“Andright?”
“Andwrong.Ihadaturkeysandwich.”
“Sobasicallythesamething.”
“Sure.”Izzycouldheardishesclinkingashesaid,“Solisten.Iwasthinkingaboutus.”
Izzy’sfingertipsgottinglyandherheartbeatpickedup.?Us.?God,didhewanttheretobean?us?
“Yeah?”Shesaidcasually,gnawingonherlipandwaitingformore.TheDarklingjumpedonherlapandquicklyvoicedhisdispleasureathavingtowait.
“Yeah.IappreciateyourStarbuckspresentationandvalueitsmerits,butIthinkwe’remakingthingstoocomplicated.”
“Youdo?”SheglancedattheTVandwatchedMaIngallswalkintoOlson’sMercantilewithabasketfullofeggsonherarm.
“Sure,”Blakesaid,anditsoundedlikehewaspoundingonsomething.“We’rebothadults,right?”
“Right…?”
“SoIthinkwecanhandleit.”Blakesvoicewascoolandconfidentashesaid,“Justbecausewehavealittlechemistrydoesn’tmeanwe’reatthemercyofourbasestinstincts,right?We’renotanimals.”
“Animals,”sherepeated,unsureofhispoint.
“There’snoreasonwecan’tbefriendswhodoregularfriendthings.Sayingwecan’teverbealoneiscompletelynegatingthefactthatwe’regrown-asspeoplecapableofignoringtheoccasionalspark.”
Sohesawtheirburning,palpableattractionasan?occasionalspark?–goodtoknow.
Izzydidn’tknowwhattosay,sosheasked,“Whatisthatpoundingnoise?”
“What?”
“Thepounding,”Izzysaid,irritatedshefeltwhollydisappointedthatBlake’sdiscussionof?us?wasn’tadesiretofindan?us.“Whatisthatpounding?”
“Oh,”Blakesaid,soundingconfused.“I’mmakinghomemadecatfood.”
Heiskillingme,?Izzythought.Dagger,holywater,garlic–allofitwouldneverbeenough.Themanwasmakinghomemadecatfood;therewasnoprotectionstrongenough.Shesaid,“Youknowtheysellcatfoodatthestore.Bagsofit.EverheardofMeowMix?”
“ToooldandpukeyforMeowMix,”hereplied.
“Ah.Wellyou’llhavetogivemetherecipe.”
“Really?”
“Geez,Phillips.No.”
“Isthereareasonyouchangedthesubject,Shay?”heasked,hisvoicequietandseriousinherear.
“Notatall,”shesaid,alittletoobrightandcheery.“Itotallyagreethatwe’renotanimals.”
Hecoughedoutalaugh.“Oh-kay,?butwhatabouttherest?”
Sheexhaledbeforesaying,“Imean,yes–ofcoursewecanhandleit.”
“Youhavemyword,Iz,”hesaid,gravelyserious,“thatnomatterhowaloneweare,Iwillalwaysbehaveasifwe’restandinginfrontoftheboardofdirectors.”
“Oh.”?Always.?“Thatmakesmefeelsomuchbetter.Thankyou.”
Blake
Blakehadthoughtgettingitoutintheopenwouldmakehimfeelbetter,butitdidn’t.
Thewayshedefinitivelysaid?thatmakesmefeelsomuchbetter?confirmedwhathe’dsuspected;?thatIzzy?wouldneverbecomfortablebeingfriendswithhimifshewereafraidofsomethingphysicalhappening.He’dmeanttoassureherthatshecouldletherguarddown,buthefelt…fuck,?something?abouthowrelievedsheseemed.
“Nowthatwe’vegotthatoutoftheway,”hesaid,scoopingthecatfoodoutofthemixingbowlandpressingitintotheair-tightcontainerwitharubberspatula.“Let’stalkaboutyourcar.”
Shesighed,andthespeakerphonesentherbreathacrosstheexpanseofhiskitchen.“Let’snot.”
“Iz,listentome.Idon’twanttogetinyourbusiness,butmydadisamechanic.Igrewuparoundcars.There’sagoodchanceIcanfixit.”
“Oh,myGod,youhaveadad?Iassumedyouwerescientifically-engineeredinalab.”
“Cute.”
“Blake,Iappreciatetheoffer–Ireallydo–butIjustcan’t.”
“Ithoughtofsomethingyoucandoforme,”hesaid,grabbingatoweltowipetheoutsideofthePyrexbowl.“Ifyouneedthattomakeitokay.”
Shesaid,“I’mscared,butlayitonme.”
Heputthecatfoodinthefridge,thentookthebowltothesinkandstartedfillingitwithsoapywater.“IhavetogotoBostononWednesday,andyoucouldtakecareofmycatswhileI’mgone.”
Shedidn’tsayanything,buthethoughtheheardhersqueak.
Hesaid,“Didyouhearme?”
“Yes.Um.”Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,“Whatexactlywouldthatentail?Becausepouringfoodintoabowlisnottheequivalentoflabor-intensiveautomobilerepairs.”
“Oh,trustme.”Hewashedhishands,thenturnedoffthewaterandletthebowlsoak.“They’revery?highmaintenance.”
“Tellmeeverything,”shesaid,soundinginterested,whichmadehimsmile.
Hewentintothelivingroom,satdownonthecouchandturnedontheTV.Bothofhiscatswereimmediatelyonhislap;itwasliketheywaitedforhimtosit.Theylikedtopawaroundtogetcomfortable,butheputhishandsontheirbacksandhelpedthemsettleintoasitsotheydidn’tdrivehimcrazy.“Asyouknow,Goodyearisblind,soeverythinghastoberoutineorhejustwalksincircles,meowing,becausehecan’tfigureoutwhat’sgoingon.”
“ThatisthesweetestthingI’veeverheard,”shesaid.
“Whenyouwalkinthedoor,youhavetosayhisnameafewtimes,soheknowsyou’rethere.Iusuallypickhimupandpethimwhenhefinallyappears,justtoensureheknowseverythingisokay.”
Izzysqueakedagain,whichforsomebizarrereason,madehimhappyashescratchedGoodyear’sheadandlookedforsomethingtowatch.
“Helikeshisfood–whichIkeepinthefridge–warmedup.Healsoneedshisfoodandwatertobeintheexactsamespotatalltimes,oragainwiththecircles.”
“I’msoinlovewithyourcat,Phillips,youdon’tevenknow,”shesaid.
Thatmadehimgrin,likeadipshit,allaloneinhislivingroom.“HehaspillsthatIhavetocrushandputinapplesauce,whichhelicksoffofaplasticspoon.”
“Whileyouholdthespoon?”sheasked.
“WhydoIfeellikethisisacat-ladyversionofphonesex?”
Shestartedlaughing–hard–andshesaid,“Oh,it?so?is,Blake.?Tellmewhatyou’rewearingwhenyou’reholdingthespoon.Doeshelickitfastorslow?”
Shestartedcackling,andhecouldn’thelpbutfallintolaughterrightalongwithherasheswitchedandgaveHole’schinascratch.“Youlittledeviant,quitusingmyelderlycat’sneedstoscratchyourweirdoitch.”
“Myapologies.”Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,“Pleasecontinue.”
Heflippedpast?LittleHouse?andwonderedifshewaswatching.“Myothercat,Hole,isdiabetic,soheneedstwoinjectionsaday.”
“I’msorry,didyoujustsaycathole?”shesaid,stilllaughingalittle.
“No,”hereplied,thenadded,“Well,yesbutno.Myothercatisnamedhole.”
“Thisisveryincredible,”shesaid,andhecouldhearthesmilelingeringinhervoice.“Alsopleaseexplainyourcats’names.”
Blakestoppedon?SportsCenter?andsaid,“IfoundGoodyearundermytireintheparkinggarage,andIfoundHoleinaholebehindmyparents’house.”
“Yourlackofnamingconventioninspirationistrulyremarkable.”
“Thankyou.”
“Notacompliment.”
“Sure,itwas.”
“Iam?dying?toseewhatyourlittleguyslooklike,”shesaid,soundingexcited.“Signmeupforthecatsitting–I’mathousandpercentin.”
“Sidenote:Icanbarelymoveatthemomentbecausethey’realloverme.”
“Whatcolorarethey?Aretheyfluffy?”
“Youreally?are?acatlady,aren’tyou?”Helookedattheboysandsaid,“WanttofliptoFacetimesoyoucanseethem?
Izzy
Yes.
No.
Idon’tknow!
Izzywasdyingtoseehiscats,butcouldshejustFacetimewithoutpreparation?Shestalledwith,“Canyoudothat,mid-call?”
“Sure,”hesaid.“Youjusthitthebutton.”
Shedidaquickself-appraisal–sloppybun,glasses,YOURMOMt-shirt.Shewasamess,butsincehe’dadmittedtofeelingnothingforherexceptfriendshipandarandomspark,whatdiditmatter?
“Showmethecats,then,”shesaid,feelingnervousasshewaitedfortheswitch.FaceTimediditsmagic,andthen–
Oh,dearGod.
TherewasBlake,onlyhelooked?nothing?likeVPBlake.Hisdarkhairwasmessy,likehe’dchangedshirtsandhadn’tcaredtofixhishairafterward.Hewassittingonabeigecouch,wearingafadedredKCt-shirtthatsaid0:13inyellowletters.Thecottonteelookedsoftandworn,anditshowcasedthatbeautifulpec-cleavage-ridgethingthatputtheChestinhisMister.
Butworsethanallofthatgorgeousness?Thereweretwocatscurledupagainsthisabs,onegrayandoneblack,andhisbighandwaswrappedunderneaththem,?holdingtheminplace.
Isithotinhere?Itfelthottoherallofasudden.
“Niceshirt,”hesaid,smirkingashisdarkeyescrinkledatthecorners.“Where’sTheDarkling?”
Sheraisedherphonesohecouldseethecatsittingonthebackofherneck.Thatmadehislipsslideintoafull-ongrin.Shesaid,“Sotellmewhichoneiswhich.”
“ThislittlepainintheassisHole,”hesaid,gentlyliftingthegraycat’schintothephone.“He’sahairballnightmareandlikestositonmyearwhenI’msleeping,soIreallyshould’vedumpedhimbackintheholealongtimeago.”
Sheonlyhalf-heardhiswordsbecauseshewasobsessedwithhisface.Thewaybig,powerfulBlakelookedathisfelinefriend?ashetalkedshitonhimmadeheralittleweakintheknees.
“AndthisisGoodyear.”Blakeraisedthefluffyblackfacetothephoneandsaid,“I’mfairlycertaintheuniversedroppedhimundermytireassomesortofpunishmentformysins.”
“Orasarewardfortheonegoodthingyou’vedoneinyourlife,”shesaid.
“Notpossible.Andthere’smorethanone,”hesaid.
“Thatsoundsmadeup.”
“So,”?hesaid,re-settlingthecatsagainsthismidsection.“Areyouwatching?LittleHouse?”
“Youknowit,”shesaid,alittlesurprisedheremembered.
“Isthatyourplanfortherestofthenight?”heasked.“CharlesIngallsandpizza?”
“Oh,I’msureI’llswitchtobinge-watchingoldseasonsof?TopChef?soon,?butCharlesisalwayswithmeinmyheart.”
Thecatsjumpedoffhislapandranoutofherlineofsight.Heshookhisheadandsaid,“Birdjustlandedontherailingofmydeck.SomehowGoodyearalwaysknowssomething’shappeningandblindlyfollowsHole,literally.”
“Showmeyourdeck,”shesaid,thenlaughedwhenhegaveheraneyebrowraise.
Shere-enunciated,“D-e-c-kdeck.”
“Ah,”hesaid,andthenhestoodupandwasmoving.Hewaswalkingashelookedintothecameraandsaid,“I’llshowyoumybigdeck,andthenwe’regoingtomakeaplanforyourcar.”
“Bossymuch?”shesaid,alittlehypnotizedbyhisFacetimeeyecontactandhisdeepvoicesaying?mybigdeck
“Onlytothestubborn,”hereplied.
Sheheardhimopentheslidingdoor,andthenheturnedthecameraaround.
“Wow,”shesaid,alittleinaweofthehigh-rise,downtownview.Heobviouslylivedattheedgeofdowntown,wayoutsideofherpricerange.“Ibetyoucouldkillsomeonewithanapplefromthatheight.”
Heturnedhisphonebackaroundandgavehera?youareridiculous?look.“Nowaboutyourcar.”
“Okay–mycar.Iwilltakethetitletothelotafterworktomorrowandgetitoutofjail.”
“Icangiveyouaride,ifyouwant,andthenIcanhaveittowedtomygarage.”
Izzystillfeltweirdaboutthat.Allofit.“Um,okay,aslongasyoupromiseyourcatswillbeawfulformewhileyou’regone.”
“Oh,absolutelytheywill.Theyarethebaneofmyexistence,”hesaid,soundinglikeheloathedthemwhiletheysleepilypurredagainsthisbody.
Blake
“Whatthehellisthatthingbehindyou?”Blakeasked,knowingfullwellwhatitwas.Izzylookedbehindherattheworkouttowersheneverused.“That?It’saworkout?thing.”
“A?thing,?huh?”Itwasalmostmidnight,andthey’dbeenFacetimingforhours.Ithadn’tbeenintentional,butthey’dstartedwatchingthesameepisodeof?TopChef?somewherearoundnineandhadessentiallybeenbinge-watchingtogethereversince.
Sidenote:IzzywaspatheticallyTeamSam,eventhoughBlakehadtoldherallthereasonstheguy?wouldn’twin,whereasBlakewasintelligentlycheeringforIlan,theobviousfrontrunner
Hesaid,?“Ibetyoudon’tevenknowhowtouseit.”
Shescowledathim.“Yes,Ido.”
“Youhavescrawnyarms–can’tbelieveyou.Sorry.”
Sherolledhereyesathimthroughthecamera,thenstood.?Likeheknewshewould.?“Watchandlearn,Mr.Chest.”
Thingswentblurryforaminuteandthenhewasstaringattheworkouttower,soshemust’veproppedherphoneagainstsomething.Hewatchedhercomeintoviewinthatstupidt-shirtandblackleggings,andheleanedbackagainstthecouchandgrinned.
“Now,don’tbejealousofmystrength,Blakeley,”shesaid,dancingaroundlikeaboxergettingreadyforafight.“Thisisn’tsomethingeveryonecando.”
“Right.”
Itwasweird,hethoughtassheactedlikeadorkinfrontofthecamerawithhermessyhairandnerdglasses.Hisformerfiancéewascharminginaperfectsortofway(whenshewasn’tlyingtohim).Skyewasgorgeousandelegant.He’dbeencrazyabouther,readytomarryher,buthe’dneverfeltthis…charmed?byher.
Itwasprobablyjustbecauseheactuallyhad?fun?withIzzy.Hewas?friends?withher,whereashehadn’treallybeenwithSkye.
Izzywrappedherhandsaroundthehandlesandbroughtupherlegsinfrontofher.Said,“Youliftyourlegs,Phillips,anditstrengthensthecore.See?”
Shebroughtherlegsupanddown.
“That?ishowyou’reusingthatthing?”Blakeshookhisheadasshebeamedproudlywhiledanglingfromtheexerciseapparatus.“Whatabouttheotherside?”
“What?”Shedroppedherfeettothefloorandletgoofthehandles.
“You’resupposedtograbthetopoftheothersideanddopull-ups.”
Shelookedupatthepull-upbar,thenbackatthecamera.“Imean,Isupposeyou?could?dothatifyou’reapatheticlittleworkoutmonkey,butthismachineisforyourcore,dumbass.”
“Itisnot,?dumbass.”Hecrossedhisarmsandsaid,“It’sforpull-ups,andthepartyou’reusingforyourcoreisforbackpull-ups.”
“Thatdoesn’tevensoundreal,backpull-ups,”shesaid,walkingtowardherphoneandcarryingitwithherasshesatbackdown.“Youdon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.”
“Ihavethesamemachine,Shay,”hesaid.
“Thenshowmeorit’snottrue,Phillips,”shereplied,herstubbornchinraised.
Blakestoodandstartedwalkingtowardthesparebedroom.“Fine,butyou’reabouttofeel?really?stupid.”
Izzy
Holycrap–hisbedroom.
Izzysawitinaflashashewalkeddownthehallwiththecamerafacingforward,butitwastooquickforhertoregisteranythingotherthanaverybigbed.
Ofcourse?hehadabigbed.
Heflippedonthelightsinanotherbedroomthatappearedtobeanoffice/workoutroom.Therewasabigdesk,alongwithatreadmill,anexercisebike,andaworkouttowerexactlylikehers.
Hesetthephonedown–sheassumedonthedesk–soitfacedthetower.
“Ohmigod–amIgoingtoseethechestalsecretsofMr.Chest’schest?”sheasked.
“Youwish,”Blakesaid,andthenhereachedupwithhislongarmsandgrabbedthepullupbar.Withoutaword,hestarteddoingpullupsasiftheyweretheeasiestthingintheworld.
“Booooo,”shesaid,gigglingashereyesweretreatedtoBlake’sFeatsofStrength.“That’slame.Totalweaksauce.”
“Ihaven’theardthatexpressionsincemiddleschool,”hesaidwhilenotslowingorruininghisperfectform.
“Ihaven’tsaiditsincethen.”Izzycouldn’thelpbutnoticethehardstripofstomachthatwasexposedbyhisraisedarms.Notonlythat,buthisshortshunglowonhiships,solowthatshecouldseethatjuttinghipbonethingthatwasprettymuchananatomicalaphrodisiac.
Sweetholyhipbones,sheneededsmellingsalts.
“Stopit,youpatheticloser,beforeIpuke,”shesaid.“Yourformisatrocious.”
Hedroppedhimselftothefloorandbeamedatthecamera,smilinginawaythatmadeherfeellikeheknewhowhotshewasforhim.“Sureitis.”
“Whatabouttheotherpart?”sheasked,butshefeltlikeapervasshesaiditbecauseshewasbasicallyjustrequestingthatheperformanotherFeatofStrength.“Ithinkyoumadeupsomethingcalleda?back?pull-up…?”
Hewentaroundtotheothersideandstarteddoingdip-downthingsthatmadeherwanttobitehisapple-bottombiceps,soshesaid,“Oh,those.Ididlikeahundothismorning.”
Hedismounted,winkedandsaid,“Okay,Iz.”
Sherolledhereyesandsaid,“Don’tyouhavesomechickenstoeatorsomething?”
“Tryingtogetridofme?”heasked,turningoffthelightandheadingbackinthedirectionofthelivingroom(orsoshethoughtfromthisinitialFacetimevisittohisapartment).
“Iprobablyshould–it’sprettylate,”shesaid,notwantingtogetoffthephonebutknowingitwastheresponsiblethingtodo.
“Yeah–Isupposeyou’reright,”hereplied,aseriousexpressioncrossinghisfaceforthebriefestofseconds.Hiseyesseemedtosearchherfaceashesaid,“I’msureyouhavemorepizzatoeat,anyway.”
“There?are?afewleftoverpieces,”sheagreed,andtherewassomethingsowarmandcomfortableabouttheirmutualteasingthatshewasalreadyhomesickforit,eventhoughtheyweren’tevenoffthephoneyet.
Theymadeplansforhimtopickherupthefollowingday,afterwork,togetthingsrollingwithhercar.Butafterthecallwasdisconnected,Izzycouldn’tsettledownenoughtoevenconsidersleep.Shewaswired,allkeyed-upfromhoursofBlake,andshekindofdidn’tknowwhattodowithherself.
Sheturnedoffthelights,laiddown,andwastryingtoforcesleepwhenherphonebuzzedonhernightstand.
Sherolledoverandpickeditup.
Blake:Youawake?
Shegrabbedherglassesandslidthembackonhernosebeforeresponding.?Sadly,yes.Wideawake.
Blake:Good.
Izzy:Mean.
Blake:Iwasthinking–youshouldprobablycomeovertomyplacetomorrow.
Izzygaspedandsatstraightupinbed.?Whaaaat??Hewantedhertocomeover?Howwassheevensupposedtorespondtothat?
Blake:IleaveforBostonreallyearlyWed.morning,soIshouldprobablyshowyoueverythingyouneedtoknowaboutthecats.
That’sright–thecats.Sherubbedherfingertipsoverhereyebrowsandsighed.Texted:?Thatworks–afterwegototheimpoundlot?
Blake:Yeah.IwasthinkingIcanorderapizzaforyoutoinhalewhileyoumeettheboys.
Izzywastryingtokeepherbrainfromoverload,butshewasgoingtobeeatingdinnerwithBlaketomorrow.JustsheandBlake,aloneinhisapartment.Withhisverybigbed.Andhispull-upabdominals.
Gahhhh.
Also,tryingtorememberthatshecouldonlylikehimasafriend–thattheywouldonlyeverbefriends–wasincrediblydifficultwhenshewasmoreattractedtohimthanshe’dbeentoanyone.
Like,ever.
Inherentirelife.
ShewastryingtogetagriponherwhirlingBlakethoughtswhenhesentanothertext.
Blake:WouldyouconsiderstayingatmyapartmentwhileI’mgone?Ihatetoask,butIhateleavingGoodyearaloneevenmore.Andthiswayyouwon’thavetokeepcomingandgoing;wayeasier.
StayatBlake’sapartment?!
Stay.At.Mr.Chest’s.Apartment.Shethought??jiofqpwehtp8439qghiea;igdg.
Sheresponded:?Um.
Blake:It’sclosetowork,too,soyouwon’thavetomesswiththebus.Threeminutewalk.
Izzywantedtosayyes,butitfeltlikeabadidea.Aterribleidea.Herphonebuzzedyetagain,andshefelthercheeksgowarmwhenshereadhismessage.
Blake:IAMBEGGING.I’llevenletyousleeponmybrand-new(beingdeliveredWed.)Californiaking(withadjustablefirmness)thatistoutedastheequivalentofsleepingonacloud–that’showdesperateIam.
StayingatBlake’sapartment.SleepinginBlake’sbed.?WhatinGod’snamewashappening??Wasshehavingadream?Sheslappedhercheekandno–notadream.
Izzy:CanIuseyourbuilding’samenities?
Blake:Ofcourse.
Izzy:CanIeatpizzainyournewbed?
Blake:OfcourseNOT.
Shepulledbackthecoversandgotoutofbed.Shemightaswellgogrababook,becausetherewasnowayshewasgoingtogobacktosleepnow.Lifejustgotreallyinterestingandherbrainwaspreparingtoexplode.
Shetextedasshewalkedintothelivingroom:?I’lldoit,butI’mveryafraidoffallinginlovewithyourcats.
IttookafewminutesforBlaketorespond,andhiswordsdidsomethingtoheralreadyriotousbelly.
Blake:Don’tbescared,Iz.Justtakeadeepbreathandletyourselffall.?ChapterNine
“Doyouwantareceipt?”
Hell,no,?Izzythought,depressedbytheamountofmoneyshe’djustpaidtogethernon-workingcaroutofjail.Sheputhercreditcardbackinherwalletandsaidtotheguybehindthecounter,“No,thanks.”
“Young’sTowingwillbepickingupthevehiclewithinthehour,”Blakesaid,allbusiness,andIzzylookedathim.Whenhadhecalledthetowingcompany?Hewasstillinsuitandtie,allVPvibes,andtherewassomethingridiculouslyattractiveabouttheauthorityheexuded.
“Soundsgood,”thelotattendantsaid,nodding.“Theyknowwhereit’sgoing?”
Blakeansweredintheaffirmative,butalsogavetheguytheaddressofhisgarage,justincase.
IzzylookeddownatherdirtyChucks,whichwererightnexttohisperfectbutter-softleatherdressshoes.Sheknewshelookedlikeatotalwrecknexttohim.Butshe’ddecided,whenshegothomefromwork,thatawisethingtodowouldbetochangeintoscrubbyclothes,washherface,andpullherhairbackintoaponytail.
IthadbeenlessthanadaysinceBlaketoldherhe’dnevermakeamoveonher–andshetotallybelievedhim–butshefiguredshe’dbelessinclinedtooverthinktheir“spark”ifsheknewshelookedawful.
“Ready?”heasked,oneeyebrowraised,andshenoddedandturnedtowardthedoor.
Oncetheywereinhiscar,shesaid,“Youlivedowntown,buttheaddressyougaveforyourgarageisoutinSpringfield.Isn’tthatliketwentymilesfromyourhouse?”
“Idon’tworkoncarsthatoften,”hesaidashemaneuveredthroughtraffic,“SoIoptedforthelessexpensiveoptionalittlefurtheraway.”
“So,it’snotthegarageyouparkineveryday.Gotit.”
Hisbighandsturnedthesteeringwheelashewentaroundacorner.“Mybuildinghasagarageforparking,buttheSpringfieldbayisjustalittleprojectstallforrepairs.”
“Oh,”shesaid,tryingnottoimaginehimleaningoverthehoodofacarwithhishandswrappedaroundwrenches.“Doyouhavecoveralls?”
Thatmadehimglanceoverather.“No.”
“Gloves?Safetyglasses?”
“Whatareyoudoinghere,Shay?”
Shegiggledandsaid,“Justtryingtopictureyouworkingoncarsbutit’simpossiblebecauseyou’reso…”
Shewavedahand,gesturingathisGQlooksandtheinteriorofhisluxurySUV
“Well,youwon’thavetopictureitforlong,”hesaid,switchinglanes,“becauseI’mgoingtomakeyoukeepmecompanywhenIworkonyoursadlittlecar.”
Shecrossedherarmsandsaidaroundalaugh,“WhatifIdon’tfeellikeit?”
“Toobad,”hesaid,hismouthinalittlesmirkashekepthiseyesontheroad.“Iexpectyoutofeedme,entertainme,andassistmewhileIbringyourcarbacktolifelikesomesortofmechanically-inclinedgod.”
Izzysnorted.“Oh,I’llbedoing?something?toyouwhileyouwork,”shesaid.
Gahhhh–notwhatImeant!Imeantphysicalharm,notsexacts!
Hedidn’tsayaword,buthisjawclenched,andshefeltlikeacknowledgingwhatshe?didn’t?meanwouldmakehersuggestivesuggestionevenmoresuggestive.
Orsomething.
Shit.
“Butbecarefulwhatyouwishfor,”shechargedforthwith,refusingtoletitgetweird.“PerhapsIshallreadaloudfrommyfavoritenovelorsingtheentire?Hamilton?soundtrack.”
“Whydoesthissuggestionnotsurpriseme?”
“BecauseyoucantellI’martistic?”
“BecauseIcantellyouliketoirritateme.”
“Hey,doyouhaveoneofthoselittlescooterthingiesthatyoulaydownonwiththewheelssoyoucanrollundercars?BecauseIthinkI’dliketoplaywithoneofthose.”
Thatmadehimglanceoverwithayou’re-a-childsmirk.“Creeper.”
“No,”shesaid,rollinghereyes.“It’snotlikeIwanttoscootunderyou.Somebodythinksprettyhighlyofhimself.”
“That’swhatit’scalled–acreeper.”Heshookhisheadandsaidaroundasmile,“Andyes,Ihaveone.”
“Well,”shesaid,“Dibsonthecreeper.”
Blakepulledintoaparkinggarageinthecenterofthecity,leavingIzzytoassumehelivedinthehigh-riseaboveit.Shegotoutofthecarwithoutaword,tryingtoactlikeshewasn’tcrazy-impressedbyhisaddress.
Shefollowedhimtotheelevatorenclosure,andwhenhepushedtheupbutton,Izzyasked,“Canyourcatshavetuna?”
Helookedoverather.“Why?”
“Justcurious,”shesaid,pullingthepouchofStarkistoutofherhoodiepocket.“Canthey?”
“Yes,theycanhavepockettuna,”hesaid,“Buttheyalreadyhavefood.”
“Thiswillbuytheirinsta-loveforme,though,”shesaid.
“Iwouldn’tholdmybreath.”
Theelevatordinged,andthedoorsslidopen.
“Why?”Izzyasked,watchingashesteppedinafterherandpushedthebuttonforthetwelfthfloor.“Theydon’tliketuna?”
“Theydon’tlikepeople,”hesaid.
“Oh,well,I’mnotpeople,”shereplied,watchingthedoorsclose.Floornumbersadvancedonthedisplayastheelevatorwentup.“Andallcatsloveme.”
“We’llsee,”hesaid,pullinghisphoneoutofhispantpocketandunlockingthescreen.
“Yes,we?will,”Izzymuttered.
ThatmadeBlakelookupfromhisphone.Hiseyeswerealittlesquinty,likehewasthinkingashiseyesmovedoverherface,andheasked,“Pepperoniorcombo?”
“Pepperoni,”shesaid,lookingdownbecausesometimeshiseyecontactwasalittle?too?direct.
Whentheelevatorreachedthetwelfthfloorandthedoorsslidopen,IzzyfollowedBlakedownalonghallwaywithivy-patternedgreycarpet.Modernsconcesonmidnightwallsilluminatedtheirwaylikefairylightsonaduskygardenpath.Hestoppedinfrontof1213andpulledhiskeysfromhispocket.
“Ilikeyourdoor,”shesaid,thenwantedtosmackherhandoverhermouthforsoundinglikeachild.?Ilikeyourdoor–whosaidthat??Butitwasridgedwithheavywoodpanelsandahugebrassknocker,likeitwastheentrancetoagrandestateinsteadofanapartmentdoor.
“Thanks,”hesaid,unlockingthedoorandholdingitopenforher.“IsitweirdtosaythattheminuteIsawit,IknewIwasgoingtoleasethisunit?”
“Notatall,”shesaid,breezingpasthimandintohisapartment.“That’scute.”
“Forfuck’ssake,it’snotcute,”hemuttered,andshefeltthetiniestofshiverscrawlupherbackashehoveredsomewherebehindher.Sheheardthedoorcloseandtriedtotellherselfthatitwasnobigdeal,beingalonewithhiminhisapartment.
“Fine,”Izzysaidaroundasmile,steppingoversohecouldleadherfurtherintohisapartment.“It’stotallylame.”
Hestoppedbesideher.Gaveheraquestioningeyebrowandasked,“Didyoujustcallmelame?”
“DidIstutter?”
Helookedlikehewasgoingtosmile,butinsteadheputhiskeysonthetablejustinsidethedoorandsaid,“Hey.Goodyear.”
Izzyturnedandstared,lookingforthecat.Blakewalkedfartherintotheapartment,andshefollowedathisheels,reachingintoherhoodiepockettoopenthetunapouch.
“I’mhome,buddy,”Blakesaid,andIzzyshookherheadfromherspotbehindhim.Themanwasseriouslyafearsomethingtobeholdashisdeepvoicecalledtothecatinsweetsoftness.
Silverbullets,maybe??Perhapssilverbulletswereheronlychanceforsurvival.
Acatmeowedandcamearoundthecorner,asweetlittleflufferwhoheadedstraightforBlakeasheloweredhisbigbodytoadeepsquatandsaid,“Hey,buddy.”
Blakescoopedupthecatandstood,turningtolookatIzzy.Shesmiledasherubbedthecat’shead,andshesteppedalittlecloser.
“Hey,Goodyear,”shesaid,reachingoutahandtopethim.
Hehissedandmadealittlecat-growlnoise,instantlybackingherup.
“Toldyou,”Blakesaid,soundingpleasedashekeptrubbingGoodyear’shead
“It’sonlybecausewejustmet,”Izzysaid,rollinghereyesandpullingthetunaoutofherhoodie.“He’lllovemesoonenough.”
“No,hewon’t,”Blakesaidmatter-of-factly.
“Areyougoingtoshowmearoundyourapartmentorwhat?”sheasked,wavingthepouchofseafoodaroundinhopesofafelineresponse.
“Oh,don’tbesnarky,”hesaid,treatinghertoafull-strengthsmile.“Ifhecouldseeyourface,I’msurehe’dloveyou.”
“He’lllovemeanyway.”Thecatseemedentirelyunmovedbyherfishystench.“Where’sthekitchen?”
“Followme.”Blakesetdownhiscat,thenledherthroughalivingroomthathadhugewindows,agorgeousbuff-coloredturn-of-the-centurysofa,awallofbookshelvesandathickoff-whitearearugthatlookedlikenapperfection.
“Thatviewdoesnotsuck,”shemutteredtoherself,lookingoutatthecityasshefollowedathisheels.
Whentheywalkedintothekitchen,Izzyhadtwothoughts.
Thefirst:Blakewasanentirelydifferentkindofadultthanshewas.Hiskitchenwaslarge,modern,anddidn’thaveanyrandomitemssittingout.Noemptypizzaboxes,nocanslinedupbesidethesink,waitingtoberecycled,andnotasingledishwasrestinginthesink.
Itoccurredtoherthatsheshouldbemortifiedbythefactthathe’dvisitedhersmall,notpristineapartmentafewdaysago.
Sheshouldbe,butforsomereason,shewasn’t.
Thesecond:hehadtohaveacleaningservice,right?Therewasjustnowayayoung,busyguyhadtimetomakehisplaceshinequitethatbrightly.
Shewasabigbelieverinthefive-secondrule,butinBlake’skitchenshe’dgoafullthirty.
Minutes.
“Sothisiswhereyou’llfindtheirfood.”Heopenedhischef-qualityrefrigeratorandpointedtothebottomshelf.“Theorangecontainers.”
“Isthecolorindicativeofsomething?Isorangecat-specific?”
“No,”hesaid,pullingoutacontainerandopeningit.
“Ithoughtmaybethe“O”fororangestoodforsomethinglike?oh-no-it’s-not-for-people.?Or?oops-this-is-horsemeat.”
Thatmadehismouthkickupjustalittle.“Onlyforfelines?”
“Exactly.”
Helookedatherforalongsecond,hisdarkeyesalloverherface,andshewasabouttorambleincoherentlytowardoffawkwardnesswhenhesaid,“Theboysliketheirfoodwarmedup–whichIknowisridiculoussosparemethemockery.Iputitinthismicrowaveforfortyseconds.”
Hegesturedtothesink,andwhenshefollowedhisfinger,shesawthatjusttotheleftofit,underthecounter,wasabuilt-inmicrowavethatlookedoldandcrappy–ithadaturn-dial,forGod’ssake.Heopenedthedoor,putinthefood,andstartedthenoisyoldmachine.
Sheraisedhereyestohisindisbelief.“Doyou…haveaseparatemicrowaveforthem?”
Hegaveacasualshrugandlookedalittleuncomfortable.“Itfeltwrongtocookcatfoodwhereyoucookhumanfood,soIboughtanoldmicrowaveatGoodwilltousefortheirdinner.”
Shecouldn’t?not?smileathimbecausehewasbeyondadorable.“Didyouknowthatyou’reacatladyunderneathyourfancysuit?”
“Iamnot,”hesaid,flippingheroffbeforetakingthefoodoutofthemicrowave.
“Oh,Ithinkyouare.Thislevelofpetcareisseriously–”
“No.”HeraisedhiseyebrowsandgaveheraSternDaddylook.“Ihatetheselittlepainsintheasses,butit’seasiertojustdowhattheywantsotheyshutupandleavemealone.”
Shetriednottosmile,butitwasimpossible.“Ifyousayso.”
“Ido,”hesaidinkindofaloud,boomingvoice,andshecoughedtocoverherlaugh.
Hewalkedthefoodovertoamatinthecorner,wherehesetdownthebowl.Goodyearwasthereinaninstant,andHole–Blake’sothercat–appearedoutofnowheretojointhefeast.
“IthinkIcanhandlethis.Doesn’tlooktootough,”shesaid,watchingthemgototownontheirfood.IzzyglancedoveratBlakeashewaslooseninghistie.Shefeltfrozenforasecond,immobilizedbythemovementthatseemedintimate,likesomethingsheshouldn’tbeseeing.
Shesaid,“Ifyouwanttogochangeoutofyourworkclothes,Ipromisenottoriflethroughyourthings.Much.”
“ButcanItrustyou?”Heteased,pullingoffthetieandunbuttoningthatrestrictivetopbutton.Sheheardhiswords,buthereyeswerestuckonhisstrongneck.Theydidn’twanttomove,forsomereason,butsheblinkedfastandforcedthemup.
“Sure,”shesaid.
“Okay,”hesaid.“ButifIcatchyoudigging,therewillbeconsequences.”
“Sointimidating,”shequipped.“Byeee.”
Hisphonerangasshesaidit,andwhenhetookitoutofhispocketandlookedatthedisplay,hemadealittlegroannoise.“Ihavetotakethis–it’swork.”
“Perfect.GotakeitinyourroombutshutthedoorsoIcanrifleinpeace.”
Hegaveheralookthatwas?almost?asmilebeforeraisingthephonetohisear.“ThisisBlake.”
Blake
Whenhewalkedintothekitchentwentyminuteslater,Blakedidn’texpecttosee?that.
Izzywassittingontheisland,danglingherlegsbackandforthwhileeatingapieceofsteamingpizzaandwatchinganotheroldepisodeofTopChefonhisTV
Itwasn’tthatshewasdoinganythingunusualorwrong,itwasthatshelookedsounbelievablyathome.Likeshebelongedthere.
Blakegotthatfuckingbuzzinhisgutthathe’dbeeninterpretingasanannoying“don’tbeadipshit”alarmbellasheapproachedher.
“You’reluckyIsavedyousome,slowpoke,”shesaid,grabbingahalf-emptybottleofStellafromthecounterandliftingittohermouth.“Wantoneofyourbeers?”
“Yes.Thankyousomuch.”Hewalkedovertothefridgeandgrabbedone,thenreturnedtotheisland.ThebottleopenerwasbesideIzzyonthecounter–?right?besideher,andhersmellcameathimashegrabbeditanduncappedthebeer.
Whatthefuckwasthat–shampoo?Lotion?Perfume?Itwaslikevanillaandbabypowderbut?somehowsexy.
“Yourcatslovemenow,bytheway,”shesaid,andhehadnoideaifshewasseriousornot.
Butitwasalwaysthatwaywithher.
“Dothey,”hesaid,openingthepizzaboxandgrabbingaslice.
“Well,no–buttheywill–Ihaveaplan,”shesaid,pickingupacrustfromherplate.
“Andthatwouldbe…?”heasked,raisingthepiecetohismouthwhilewatchinghernosecrinkleasshegrinnedathim.?Hewasstillfuckingobsessedwithhernosecrinkles.
Shetiltedherhead.“Thatisbetweenmeandtheboys.”
“Isthatright?”SomeoneontheTVwascryingbecausetheirporkbellywastoodry,andHolewasweavingin-betweenBlake’s’feet,butallBlakecoulddowasstaredownathersmilingface.
DearGod,shewassofuckingpretty.
Itwasn’taboutherlooks,though,asasinineasthatsounded.Shewasprettybecauseshewasaliveandchaoticandfunnyandsmart.Hereyessparkledandhernosecrinkledandhermouthslidintosmilesasifthatwasitsdefault.
Helookedatherlipsandrememberedwhatit’dfeltliketokissher.Howit’dfelttohavehersighintohismouthandholdontohimasifshe,too,wasfightingthebattleofendlessimaginings.
“Whendoyoumedicatethefluffyguy?”sheasked,hervoicebreathyashereyestraveledalloverhisface.
“WheneverIwant,”hereplied,tellinghimselftomovebackwhileleaningabitcloserandrestingonepalmoneachsideofheronthebutcherblockcounter.
“Doyouthinkhe’lltakeitfromme?”sheasked,hervoiceevenquieter.
“Iknowhewill,”hesaid,hypnotizedbyhermouthandherwordsandthewayhereyeslookedalittleheavy-liddedatthemoment.
“Good,”shesaidinanear-whisper,andhecouldalmostfeelthesoftnessofherbreathagainsthislips.
“So,um,”shesaid,blinkingfastbeforebreakingeyecontacttolookupattheTV.“Shit.?Um.Wheredoyoukeeptheapplesauce?”
Applesauce.Applesauce.Whatisapplesauceagain??Hestraightened,tookafullstepback,andfeltlikehewaswakingupfromadream.
“Applesauce,”herepeated,hisbrainscramblingtocatchup.“Isinthefridge.”
Whatthewhathadjusthappened?
Hewentovertothefridge–?whatthehellwhatthehellwhatthehell,?openedthedoorandgotoutthejarofapplesauceandGoodyear’smeds.Withoutlookingbackather,hegrabbedaplasticspoonandemptyyogurtcontainerfromthedrawerandwenttofindthecat.
“He’sinhere,”hesaid,findingGoodyearonhischair.Hetookadeepbreath.?Nothinghappened.Izzyprobablyhadn’tevennoticedthatyouwereamillisecondfromkissingher.
Heheardherfeetasshejumpeddownfromtheisland,andshelookedtotallynormalandnotfreakedoutasshecameoutofthekitchenandwalkedtowardhim.Yes,hercheekswerepink,butitwaswarminthere.
Reallyfuckinghot,actually.
“Okay,showmehowyouslipthecatamickey.”Sheshiftedherweighttoonelegandcrossedherarms.
“Okay.”Heshowedherhowhesmashedapillinthebottomoftheyogurtcontainer,thenstirredinapplesauce.WhenhepickedupGoodyearandsatdowninthechair,Izzysaid–
“Wait–youdothisinanoff-whitechair?”Shelookedhorrified.“Whatifyouspill?”
“Idon’t,”hesaid,wantingtolaughasshecontinuedtolookaghast.
“NotetoIz–sitonfloorwhenyoudothis,”shemuttered.“Continue,please.”
“Thankyou.”Hescoopedupthemedicatedapplesauceandheldoutthespoon,towhichGoodyearimmediatelyliftedhisfuzzylittlefaceandstartedtakingitdown.Thatlittleguyhadathingforapplesauce.
“He?really?likesapplesauce,”shesaid,droppingtoasquatbesidethemandwatchingGoodyeargoHAMonthespoon.Shereachedoutahandandpettedhishead,whichmadethecatgiveheraclosed-mouthgrowlwhilehekeptlicking.
Blake?did?laughatthat,andIzzylookedupathim,grinningand?crinklinghernose.
Hefeltlikehecouldn’tbreathe.
Andwhenshetookthespoonfromhim–?letmehaveaturn?–herealizedhe’dmadeaterriblemistake.
Agrossmiscalculation.
Becausehaving?Izinhis?home,surroundedbyhisthingsandsleepinginhisbedandleavingher?what-the-hell-is-that-amazing-fucking-smellsmellallovertheplace–well,?thathadthepotentialtochangeeverything,regardlessofwhetherornotanythingphysicalhappenedbetweenthem.
Andtherewasatinypartofhimthatdidn’thatetheideaofthatchange.
Dammit,?hethoughtasthattraitorous?catstartedpurring.
Itwas?just?sofuckinghotinthatapartment.
Wasn’tit??ChapterTen
Blake:Funfact-Ihateflying.
IzzylookedatherphoneandsmiledasshewaitedinlineatStarbucks.Shetexted:?That’sbecauseyou’reacontrolfreak.
Blake:A.No,I’mnot.B.Idon’tneedadiagnosis,Ineedadistraction.
Izzy:YouthinkI’mfreetojustdropwhateverI’mdoingtoentertainyou?
Blake:Behonest–you’reinlineforcoffee,aren’tyou?
Izzy:That’sterrifying.Didyouputanairtaginmypurse?
Blake:No,Istuckittoyourbacklikeamodern-day“kickme”sign.Also,yougoeveryday–wasn’ttoughtofigureout.
Izzyorderedhercoffee,swipedhercardandmovedovertothewaitingspot.Joshhaddroppedheroffbecausehercarwaswaitingonapartandshehadn’twantedtoridethebuswithherovernightbag,thebagshewashaulingtoworkbecauseshewasgoingtoBlake’sswankyapartmentwhenshegotoffwork.
Shestillcouldn’tbelieveit.Shewasexcitedabouttheview,thechallengeofmakinghiscatsloveher,andwalkingtoworkinthemorninglikeshewasthefashionableprotagonistinanNYCsitcom,butshewasalsonervousforsomeinexplicablereason.
Shelookeddownatherphoneandtexted:?Doyouhaveawindowseat?
Blake:Nope.Wedgedin-betweenatalkerandahummer
Izzysnortedandtexted:?Atalker,achestandahummerwalkintoabar.
Blake:Funnygirl.
Izzy:Thankyou.Whattimeisyournewbedbeingdelivered,btw?
Blake:Sometimebeforetwo.NOPIZZAonthebed.
Izzy:Duh,Blake–I’mnotfive.Anyway.I’vealreadyplannedoutmymealsforyourbed.Tonightisspaghettiandmeatballs.Tomorrowisbabybackribs,followedbyfondue.Anddon’tworry.I’mgoingtobeeatingalotofpowdereddonutsandCheetostosoakupanythingthatmightdriponthebed.#perfectcatsitter
Blake:SHAY.
Izzy:Chill,PHILLIPS.Iamopentochangingmybedmenu.
Blake:IWILLKNOW.
Izzy:You’readorablewhenyouuseall-caps.VERYPOWERFUL.
Blake:I’mFacetimingyoutonightat6:01andIexpectadetailedvisualtourofthebed.
Izzy:I’mFacetimeingYOUtonightat6:01?andIexpectedadetailedvisualtourofyourass.
Shequicklyfired-offafollow-uptext.
Izzy:NOTLITERALLY.“Yourass”asina“yourmom”joke.Yougetit,right?IfyoumoonmeviaFacetimeIshallreportyoutotheFCC.
Blake:Idon’tthinkyouneedthatcoffee.Also.MaybewhileI’mgone,youshouldlookupwhattheFCCdoes,sinceyouclearlyhavenoidea.
Izzy:You’renotthebossofme.
Blake:Iamquiteliterallythebossofyou.
Izzy:#stillgonnadrinkthiscoffee
Blake:Haveagoodday,Iz.
Nicknamification,inheropinion,wastheabsolutesexiest.CallIsabellaShaybyherlastname,or“Iz,”fortheloveofGod,andshemeltedlikepatofbutteronapileofmashedpotatoes.She?letoutadreamysighinresponsetohis?Iz?beforerespondingwith:?You,too,Boss.
“Istilldon’tunderstandwhyit’steno’clockthere,andtheplasticisstillon,”Blakesaid.“Whatareyouwaitingfor–areyouanightowl?”
Izzywasdefinitely?not?anightowl,andshewasgettingverysleepyonhisbig,comfycouchwithhiscatssnuggledinapileagainst?her,butshejusthadn’tbeenabletobringherselftounwraphisnewbedyet.Itjustseemed…obtrusive.?He?shouldbetheonetopulloffthatprotectiveplastic–nother.?“No,butI’mfartoocomfyonthissofatogetup.AndtheseguysmightrevoltifIdo.”
“Traitorouslittleshits.Youcan’tkeepbuyingtheirlovewithchicken,youknow.”
“Whynot?”Shelistenedtotheirpurringandsaid,“Theygocrazyforit.”
“We’repayingyoutoomuchifyoucanaffordtofeedchickenbreaststothecatseveryday.”
“Technically,you’repayingyoutoomuch,sinceIfedthemyourchickenbreasts.”
Hemadeafaceather?–they’dbeenFaceTimingforexactlyonehourandforty-twominutes–andleanedhisheadbackontheheadboard.“Ithastobehotashellinthereifyou’restillrunningthefireplace?and?theboysareonyou.”
“Nah–I’vegotthepatioslideropen,”shesaid,wishingtheircallwouldn’thavetoendsoon.Becauseinadditiontothefactthathewasprettymuchherfavoritepersonintheworldtotalktoandplaywith,shewaskindofenjoyingtheview.
Yes,hewashandsome;themancouldinspirepornographicletters-to-the-editorwiththewayhelookedatwork.?Itwaslate,andtheonlyotherpersonintheofficewastheultra-hotbillionaireCEO.?But?Izzyfoundherselfmarginally-obsessedwiththefactthatwhenput-togetherVPBlakewasn’tworking,hewaskindofamess.Hishairwasalwaystousled,likehe’dforgottenitexistedonceheremovedhistie,andthemanseemedtolive?infadedt-shirtsandhoodies.
Itwassuchacontradiction,likebeefySupermanbeinganerdyreporter,that?shefeltkindofluckythatshegottoseethetousledsideofhim.
Shesuspectednotmanypeopledid.
Ormaybeshejust?hoped?thatnotmanypeopledid.
Henarrowedhiseyesandsaid,?“You’reseriouslyopeningthewindowsandrunningtheheatatthesametime?”
“Ijustlovethesoundofthecity,andhatebeingcold,”shesaid,shruggingandlookingoveratthewindows.Therewassomethingaboutthelightsandthedowntownsoundsthatmadeherneverwanttogohome.
Well,thatandthefactthathisapartmentwasstraight-upridiculous.
Forstarters,hehadanobscenely?huge?bathtub,aswellasashowerthatwasthesizeofherentirebathroom.Asifthatwasn’tfantasticenough,therewerebuilt-inBluetoothstereospeakerswiredthroughouttheplace,soshecouldturnonherfavoriteplaylistandhaveitstreamacrosseverysinglesquarefootof?thatdreamboat?apartment.
Monstrously-largeTV,world’scutestcats(nexttoTheDarkling),amassivekitchen;whywouldsheeverwanttoleave?PerhapsinsteadofvacatingwhenBlake?returned,shemightjustbarricadeherselfinsideofsexyNumber?1213.Surelyshecouldgetinanextra12-14hoursofluxuriatingbeforetheSWATteamfinallykickeddownthatbeautifuldoorandpulledherassout.
“It’sgenius,ifyouthinkaboutit,”shesaid,snugglingundertheblanketastheautumnbreezeblewthroughtheapartment.“Sorrynotsorry.”
“That’sanon-brandstatementforyou,”Blaketeased,andIzzythoughthelookedtired.Sheshouldprobablylethimgosohecouldsleep.WhateverhewasworkingoninBostonwasconfidential–hewasn’tabletoshareanythingwithher–butimportant,soheneededtoberested.
“Listen,I’mgoingtogofloodyourbathroombyoverfillingthatdecadenttub,soIreallyhavetogo.Areyouplanningontext-bombingmealldaytomorrow,too,orwastodayjustaone-timeannoyingevent?”
Pleasesayyes.?They’dspenttheentiredayinameaninglesstextthreadofsarcasmandmeme-besting,andithadbeenamazing.
Hesatupinthebedandleanedclosertothephone,sohewasallface,andsaid,“Firstofall,Ididnottextbombyouallday.It’scalledmicromanaging–Ihavetwocatstoworryabout.”
“Um–”
“Second,sinceIcanseethatmydeckdoorisstillopenbehindyou,obviouslythemicromanagementisanecessity.”
“Debatable,”shemurmured.
“Andfinally,”BlakesaidinallhisAVPglory,“Yes.BaseduponwhatI’vewitnessedtoday,Ihavelittlereasontobelievethatyoucanhandlethiswithoutmyconstantsupervision.Soyouwillbehearingfrommeevery3-5minutestomorrow.”
Shetriedtoplayitcool,butfailedmiserably.Shewasbeamingintothephonewhenshesaid,“God,no,thatwouldbethe?worst.”
Blake
Blakehadneverbeensohappytoseehisbuilding.Heheldhiskeycarduptothesecuritypad,rolledhissuitcasethroughthelobby,andimpatientlywaitedfortheelevator,whichseemedslowerthanusual.
Thetriphadgonewell,andtheacquisitionwasnowofficial;everythinghadgoneaccordingtoplan,work-wise.
Whathadn’tgoneaccordingtoplan,however,hadbeenIzzy.
He’dsentherthatfirsttexttoteaseherandtogethismindoffoftheflight,buthehadn’tintendedonopeninganewcorridoroftheirrelationship.Thoughthey’dhadplentyofrandomtextconversations?before?histrip,thediscussionshad?usuallybegunwithapurpose.Alegitreasonforthemtobetexting.
Although–wait.
Hadtheyoftenhadlegitimatereasons?Yes,they’dbeentextingwithpurposeattimes,butsincetheirmeetingatStarbucks,hadn’ttheyeachbeensneakinginlittleimmaterialreasonstoconnect?
Regardless,afulltransitionhadoccurred.
Theywerenowrandotextingbuddies.
(Okay–hefuckinghatedthatidioticmoniker,butIzhadsaiditfifteentimesoverthepastfewdays,justtoirritatehim,andithadtakenroot.)
She?textedhimaboutwhatshewaswearing,thenoiseherco-workermadewhenshechewedpotatochips,themacaroniandcheeseshe’dmadeinhiskitchenandherthoughtsonthemayor’splantolaunchastreetcarproject.
He?textedheraboutPatriotsfans,airportbathroomhanddryers,thebookhewasreading,hisgrandmother’sphonecallsandhisopposingviewsonthemayor’sstreetcarproposal.
They’dtextedtheentirethreedayshe’dbeeninBostonandFaceTimedeverynight.?Basically,she’dbecomelikeoneofhisbuddies–hell,hewasjustascomfortabletalkingtoherashewashisbestfriend,Nick,onlywithherhegotlittlegutpuncheswhenshedidcertainthings.Smiled,laughed,talkedabouthisbathtub,snuggledwithhiscats;shitlikethatmadehimgetapinchingpainjustbelowhisheart.
Butitwasthatword–buddy–thathadbegunbuzzinginthebackofhismind,evenwhenhedidn’trealizeit.Itwasthere,silentlybouncingaroundinhishead.
BlakeknewtherulesthatheandIzzyagreedto.Heknewwhytheyweresoimportant,andatacertainlevel,hestillagreedwiththem.Thatbeingsaid,therewasjustthisfeelinghehadwhenhewaswithherthatwassonotbuddy-like.
Hewastooexcitedtobehometoworkitoutnow,butitwasobviouslysomethingheneededtoworkout.
Blakepulledouthisphoneandtriedtextingheragainashegotintotheelevator.?Iaminthebuildingnow.
He’dbeentextinghersincefivea.m.,when?he’d?decidedtochangehisflightandcomehomeacouplehoursearly.Butshehadn’tresponded.?Hedidn’twanttoscareherbyshowingupunexpectedly,buthewasalsodyingtogethomeandgetstartedontheweekend.
Ofcourse,theonlyrealplanshehadwastogoforarun,watchfootballandfixIzzy’scar,andafterthepastfewdaysofnonstopwork,thatsoundedfuckingamazing.
Heunlockedthedoortohisapartment,openeditslowlyand?said,“Iz?”
Hesteppedinsideandclosedthedoorbehindhim.HecouldheartheTV,butnomovement.Hesaid–loudly,“Izzy?Goodyear?It’sme–Itookanearlierflight.”
Wassheasleep?Perhapsthenewbedwas?that?good,socomfortablethatitrenderedthesleepercomatose.
Hetooktwostepsintothelivingroomandsaid?“Iz–I’mho–”
Shit.?Hismouthsnappedshutwhen?hesawher.
Hequietlywalkedovertothesofaandforsomereason,thesightofhersleepingmade?thatpinchingfeelingshegavehiminsideburnsostrongitalmosthurt.?Fuckingfuck.
Herhandsweretuckedunderhercheek,herhairwildacrosshispillow–?his?pillow,?andadisconcerting?emotionhecouldn’tidentifysettledonhischestlikeabrickashelookeddownather.Longing?Fondness??Wishfulness?
Also–hadshesleptthereallnight?Whyhadn’tshesleptinthenewbed?
Somethingaboutseeingherthere,though,cocoonedinhisblanket,asleeponhiscouch,madehimhomesickfor…something.
Fuck,hewasamess,andhewasalsoatotalcreep,watchinghersleeplikehewasgoddamnJoeGoldberg.
“Izzy.”Hedroppedtoasquat,movedhismouthalittleclosertoherear?andsaid,“I’mhome,Iz.”
“Blake.”Hermouthturnedupintoasmile,eventhoughhereyesstayedclosed.Sheturnedherheadjustalittleandpressedherlipsagainsthis.
Shit,shit,shit.
Beforehecouldthink,shekissedhim,hermouthsoftandwarmassheopenedherlipsunderhis.Hesteadiedhimselfagainstthecouchandswallowed,unsureofwhattodo.Wassheevenawake?
Andhowdidshetastelikechocolatealready?
“Kissme,Phillips,”shesaidagainsthismouth,asmileinhervoice.“Unlessyoudon’twantto.”
Shemovedherhandsdowntohisneck,andthemovementthrewhissquatoffbalance.Hecaughthimselfbybridgingonearmoverthebackofthecouchandoneonthefront,andIzzyapparentlytookthatasamove.Shewrappedherarmsaroundhisshouldersandpulledhimcloser,andallofasuddenhewasonhiskneesbesidethecouch,hisupperbodypoisedoverhersasshebitdownonhislowerlip.
I’mdone,?hethought–maybeevensaidoutloud–asheopenedhismouthwideoverhers,wantingtofuckingconsumeher.Shemadeanoiseinthebackofherthroatthatsentheatthroughhimas?herhandsmovedtohischest?andhermouthwentwild.
Shekissedlikesexandbattleandsport,likedominationandcompetition,like?goingalloutandleavingnothingonthefloor,holy?shit.?Hewantedmore–wantedall–ashefeltherfingertipsflexing–gripping–thefrontofhisshirt.
Blake’shandsclenchedonthesofaashersmell–vanilla–burrowedintohissensesandmadehimdrunkonfumes.Heopenedhiseyes,needingvisualconfirmationthatthiswasreally?happeningandIzzywasdestroyinghim?likehe’dimaginedherdoingahundredfuckingtimes.
Hell,yes.
Henibbledonherbottomlipandsaidhername–no,he?rasped?hernamebecauseapparentlyhe’dlosttheabilitytospeak,andhereyesflutteredopen.
Theyseemedabsurdlyblueassheblinkedupathim,asleepygrinonhermouth
But?thenherforeheadgotatinycrinkle,justbetweenhereyebrows,andthesmile?disappeared.
“Ohmigod,Blake,”shesaid,blinkingfastandremovingherhandsfromhisbodylikeit’dbeenburningthem.Shesatuponthecouch,gaveherheadatinyshakeandsaid,?“Shit,shit,?shiiiit.Iam?so?sorry.”?Chapter11
Izzy
Izzypushedherhairoutofherface,cheeksonfire,andhadnoideawhattosay.
Shiiiiiiiit.
Hadsheseriouslyjustlaunchedafull-scalemouthassaultonBlake’sfacewithouthisconsent??Seriously???Hecalmlysatdownbesideheronthesofa,likeshehadn’tjustbehavedlikeamaniac,andshewonderedwhattimeitwas.
Whattimeitwas,andalsoiftherewasatimemachinetolaunchherbacktofiveminutesago.
Whatthe?hell?hadjusthappened?
Oneminute,she’dbeenhavingasexydreamaboutBlake.He’dbeenkissingher–theworld’shottestkiss,fortherecord?–andinherdream,he’dsaidhernameinatotalsexvoice.
Butthenshe’dopenedhereyesandhewasthere–leaningoverher–lookingdownatherwithhungrydarkeyesasshefreakingclawedathischestlike…shit…likesomeaggressivesomethingwithclawsthatshecouldn’tnamebecauseherbrainwasnolongerfunctioning.
Oh,Gawwwwwwd.?Shewantedtodieofembarrassment.
“Iwashavingadreamanditwassuperrealistic,”sheblurtedout,notexpectinghimtobelieveher,butdesperatetoconvincehim.Shedidn’twanttolosehim,soshehadtomakehimunderstandthatnothinghadchangedbetweenthem.
Hisjawwashard,hiseyesintenseonhersasshestartedramblingincoherently.
“Ididn’thearyoucomeinandIdon’tevenknowhowyougottothesofabutsomehowmybrainthoughtyourpresencetherewaspartofthedream.Ikissedyou,”shesaid,hercheeksgettingevenhotterasshetriedtoconvincehim,“butIwaskissingsomeoneelseinmydream,Iswear.PleasebelievemethatIwouldnever,everbreakouragreement.”
Sherealizedasshesaiditthatshewaslying.
Ifhewantedtobreakit,shewouldshatteritinahotminute.
Hedidn’tsayanything,justswallowedwiththatdistractingAdam’sappleofhis,andsheknewshe’druinedeverything.
“Blake–saysomething.Tellmethatyouaren’tmad,orgrossedout,orugh–thatIdidn’tmakeyoufeelviolated.Thiswasjustaverysurreal–verybizarre–mistake,amisunderstandingofepicproportions,andthingswithusaretechnicallynodifferentthantheywerelastnightwhenwewatched?TopChef?togetheronFacetime.”
“Izzy.”
Shetalkedoverhim,herembarrassednervesmakingsilenceimpossible.“ImeantitwhenIagreedwithyouthatwe’rebothadultsandcancontrolourselves,andthisspontaneousmomentofmackingwasentirelythefaultofmyunconsciousness.”
Blakelookedatherintently,hisjawclenchingandunclenching,andshehatedthatshe’dputthatseriousexpressiononhisface.Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,“IfIcouldtakeitbackIwould,butIcan’t.Iswearit–”
“Okay.Whowasit?”heasked.
Izzyblinkedandtookadeepbreath.“What?”
Hisvoicesoftenedwhenhesaid,“Whowereyoukissinginthedream,Iz?”
Shebitdownonherlowerlipandsquintedhereyes.Hewaswatchingher,waitingfortheanswertohisquestion,andshehopedeverythingwouldbequicklyfixedifshejustspewedoutaname.?Think,think,think.?Butjustlikethat,everynameontheplanetwaserasedfromhermind.?Therehadtobemillionsofnamesintheworld,buttheonlyoneshecouldthinkofwasBlake.
Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,“Youdon’t,um,youdon’tknowhim.”
Sherolledhereyes.Atherself.?Izzy,yousuckunderpressure.
“Butyoudo?”heasked.
Forasplitsecond,shewonderedwhatwastheworstthingthatcouldhappenifshetoldhimthetruth.Fortunately,herbrainquicklyrespondedwithYouwoulddestroywhateverthisiswithBlake;isthatwhatyouwant,dumbass?
Honestly,herbraincouldbesomeansometimes.
Shesatupstraighteronthecouchandturnedsoshewasfacinghim.“Justacelebrity.Nobig–”
Hetiltedhishead.“Whichcelebrity?”
“You’regoingtomakemesayit?”sheasked,wantingoffthehookandalsowantingtosimplyvanishfromexistence.
“Justsayit.”
“Youwantaname?”shestalled,“Youwantmetosayhisname?”
“Namehim,Shay.”
Shegroaned.
Hismouthslidintoasmirkandhesaid,“Ifyoudon’ttellmehisname–”
“Fine.TomColicchio!”Shenearlyshoutedit,andthenshecrossedherarmsoverherchest.Noddedherheadandsaid,“Yes,Iwaskissing?the?TopChef.”
“Tom.”Hestaredather,slightlysmirking,makingherfeelmarginallybetter.“Colicchio.”
Shenoddedagain.Rubbedherlipstogether.Added,“Iguessyoucouldsaywewerehavingourownlittlequickfire.”
Hebarelyletherfinishbeforehesaid,“Soareyouready?”
“What?”What?“Wait.Forwhat?”
Hepulledhisphoneoutofhispocketandglancedatthedisplayashesaid,“I’mstarving,soIthoughtwecoulddrive-thruBruegger’swhenItakeyouhome.??Bagelssoundgood?”
Goodlord,thequickshiftinconversationwasgivingheremotionalwhiplash.
Andhewassureinahurrytogetheroutofhisapartment.?Shenodded,butcouldn’tstopherselffromsaying,“Sowe’reokay?”
“Ofcourse.”Heputthephonebackandheldoutahandtohelpherup.
“ThankGod.”Izzygrabbedhishandandlethimpullhertoherfeet,buteverycellinherbodyceasedtoexistexceptforthoseinherfingers.Hisbig,warmhandswallowedhersandtheslideofhishotskinonherswaselectricandsexualand–shit.
Itmadeherliterallylookdownattheirhands.
Beforequicklylettinggo.
WHATWASWRONGWITHHER?Sheneededtocalmthecrapdown.
“ButIz?”?hesaid,hisvoicequietanddeep.
“Yeah?”Sheshookoutherfingersathersides.
“ThewayyoukissedTomColicchio,”hesaid,hisdarkeyeshotonher,“Wasfuckingsinful.”
“Dude,come?on.”Joshheldhisarmsoutathissidesbeforelettingloosewithahighkick.“Thatseemslikebullshit.Workisaflimsy-assreasonforyoubothtobealone.”
Izzyduckedherheadashercousinswunghislegaround.ShewassittinginthegrassoftheirfrontyardwhileJoshandsixofhisfriendspracticedsomesortofmartial-artsyoga-stretchingthing.Theywereallsilentastheymeticulouslyfollowedtheleader’smovements,soshetooktheopportunitytositbesidehimandtellJosheverythingaboutherandBlake’ssituation.
Captiveaudienceandallthat.
“Iknowitsoundsthatway,butitactuallyisn’t,”Izzyexplained,burrowingherchinintothetopofherhoodie.Fifty-fivedegreeswasnice,butalittleonthechillysidewhenyouwerejustsittinginthecoldgrass.“He’sthis,like,establishedbig-wigwhototallybelievesinthevaluesandethicsthatgoalongwithhisrole.Hewouldnevergetinvolvedwithsomeonewhoreportstohimbecauseit’s?wrong.”
“Ishereligious?”
“No–Imean,Idon’tthinkso.Ithinkhe’sjustagoodhumanwithacareertolookoutfor.”
“Wellifit’sthatperfect?betweenyoutwo,”Josh’spink-hairedfriendtoherrightsaid,hissingouthiswordsasheslowlyloweredtoasquatty-lunge,“Whydon’tyoujustfindanotherjobsomewhereelse?”
“Buttout,Stan,”Joshsaid,raisinghisleftlegandrotatingitout.“Sheshouldn’thavetoquit.”
“Dude,Ididn’tsayshehastoquit,”Stanmuttered,givingIzzyaknow-it-alllook.“Butitdoessoundlikeaquick,somewhatobviousfix,right?”
“Yes,”Joshreplied,alsoloweringhisbodytowardtheground,“Butshe’sfoundajobshelikeswithasolidcareerpath.Doesshereallywanttojeopardizethatforaman?”
Izzywrappedherarmsaroundherlegs,restingherchinonherknees.“You’remissingthepoint.”
“Weare?”Stanasked,hislimbsshakingasheheldhispose.
“Whatpointdidwemiss?”Joshsaid,lettingoutalong,quietgroanasthesunreflectedoffhisforehead.
“IfIweretoquitmyjob,whichItotallydon’twanttodobecauseIloveit,whatwouldthatsaytoBlake?”Izzypicturedhisfacewhenhe’dleanedoverheronhiscouchandshesighed.“Wouldn’titseem…desperate,thatI’mwillingtoquitmyjobforhimeventhoughwe’veneverevengoneonadate?”
“No,”Joshsaid,attheexactminuteStansaid,“Yeah–totally.”
ShegaveJoshalook,whichmadehimpointathisfriendandsay,“Nooneeverlistenstohim.Stan’salwayswrong.”
Stanraisedhiseyebrowsather,givingheralong,meaningfullook.
WasStanright?
“IamtotallystealingyourI-swear-it-was-a-dreammove,bytheway.”ThegroupleadersmiledasheeffortlesslyheldhislegupagainsthisearlikehewasaRockette.“SoundslikeapatentedRoymove.”
“Who’sRoy?”sheasked.
“Heis,”Joshsaid.
“Shutthefuckupandbreathe,Roy,”Stansaidbeforedoingwhatappearedtobethesplits.
Somewheredeepinsideher,Izzyknewbetterthantolistentoadvicefromabunchofguysdoingninja-yogaoutsideinthemiddleoftheday.Still,thesituationwithBlakeconsumedherandshehadtogetitfiguredoutsomehow.
Blake
Blakeslidhisfeetintohisrunningshoesandwasreachingforhiskeyswhenthephonebuzzed.Ataglancehecouldseewhotheemailwasfrom,andhedidn’twanttoopenitformultiplereasons.
Forstarters,itwasSundaymorning.?Everheardofwork-lifebalance,Brad??Hehadalotofrespectforhisboss,butthemanworked24/7andBlakewas?not?aboutthat.Blakeworkedhisassoff,too,buthealsovaluedhisfreetimeandrefusedtoletitgetpollutedbyconstantemailsandphonecalls.
Butmoreimportantly,hewasonhiswaytopickupIzzyandgoworkonhercar.He’dbelyingifhesaidhewasn’texcitedtoseeher,evenasheknewheshouldn’tbeexcited.
Butthekiss–holyshit,THEkiss.
Thekisshadbeenplayingonaconstantloopinhishead,andalargepartofhimwantedtojustforgettheworldandfindawaytomakeithappenagain.Andagain.
Andyeah–a-fucking-gain.
Butitwasn’tthateasy.
He’dworkedhisassoffforhiscareeranditmeantalottohim.It’dtakenyearstogetwherehewas,anditwasfoolishtoriskeverythingwhenheandIzzyhadneverevenbeenonadate,right?
Right?
Maybetheyweredestinedtobejustfriends,orsomeotherbullshitplatitudethatwasdestinedtofuckingkillhim.
Blakegrabbedhiskeysandheadedout,thinkingofIzzy’s?Ilikeyourdoor?comment?ashelockedthedeadbolt.
Eventhoughheknewbetter,heopenedOutlookandstartedreadingBrad’semailashewalkeddownthehallandgotintotheelevator.Hehitthe“G”button,thedoorsslidclosed,andBlakeclickedonanattachmenttitledNewOrgChart,FinalDraft.
Nowthattheacquisitionhadgonethrough,andbecausethecompanywasnearlydoublinginsizeasaresult,therewouldneedtobeacertainlevelofre-organization.
Butwhenthecolor-codedchartopenedandhelookedathisdivision,hisearsstartedbuzzing.
HumanResourceshadshifted,andthatdepartmentnolongerreportedtohim.
Whentheelevatordoorsopened,Blakesprinted?tohiscar.?Chapter12
Izzy
“Hejustpulledup.”IzzywatchedthroughthewindowasBlakegotoutofhiscar–?God,hewashuge?–andslammedthedoor.Hewaswearingjeansandagreysweatshirtthatmadehischestlookridiculouslywide,andofcourse,hishairlookedlikehe’ddrivenallthewayoverwithhiswindowsdown.Sheletgooftheblindsshe’dbeenpeeringthroughandturnedaround.“He’shere.”
TheDarklingstaredatherfromthecouchasifsheboredhim.
Stupidcat.
Blakeknockedonthefrontdoor.
“Gah!”Izzyfrozeandgaspedandwhispered,allatthesametime.“WhatdoIdo?”
Stoptalkingtothecat,forstarters,youdipshit.
Izzytuggedonthebottomofhershirt–she’dselectedherfuzzyredsweaterandboyfriendjeans–andtuckedherhairbehindherears.Shewashellajitteryatthethoughtoffacinghimafterthecouchkissing.Yes,they’dtextedalldaysothingswereokaybetweenthem,butwhatifitwasweirdface-to-face?
Shesprintedovertothecouch,grabbedthecat,andwentbacktothedoor.Somehow,holdingTheDarklingfeltlikeprotection.Oradistraction.
Or…something.
Izzyshiftedthecatinherarmsandpulledopenthedoor.
“Hey.”Itwasasmallword,acasual,one-syllableutterance,butthewayBlakesaiditmadeherbreathcatch.Itwasfastandbreathlessashisdarkgazemovedalloverherface,likehewassearchingforsomethingspecific.Helookedtense,?intense,andshecouldn’tstopherselffromglancingathismouthandrememberinghowit’dfeltonhers.
“Hey,”shereplied,turningherattentiontothecatinherarmsbecauselookingathimwithoutthinkingaboutthekisswasimpossible.
“Listen,Iz,Ineedtotalktoyou.”
Shenudgedthedooropenallthewaysohecouldcomein.Becool,Izzy,shethoughtashecameinsideandsheclosedthedoorbehindhim.Sheintendedtosoundnormal,butheardherselfsay,inaweird,surfer-variationofhervoice,“What’sup,bro?”
Gah–yeah,that’snotweirdatall.
Blaketookasmallstepcloser,crowdingheragainstthedoor.Insteadoflookingupathim,shelookedatTheDarkling,instead.Infact,shebecameincrediblyinterestedinpettinghisfluffyfir.
Hisvoicewasthickanddeepwhenhesaid,“Whywon’tyoulookatme?”
Izzyblinkedandrubbedherlipstogether.Said,“I’mnot–”
“IsabellaShay.”Hemoved,andbeforesheknewwhathewasdoing,hetookthecatfromherarmsandsetTheDarklingontothefloor.
Shesighedandlookedupathim.
Oh,damn.
“BlakePhillips.”Shemeanttosaymore,maybe,butherheartstartedthumpingashesteppedalittlecloser.Shelookedupathishoteyesandfeltalittlelight-headedwhenhesaid—
“I’mgoingtofuckinglosemymindifyoudon’tletmetalktoyou.”
“Sotalk,”shesaid,intendingtosoundunaffectedbutfailingtopullitoffwhenhervoicecameoutbreathyandalmostawhisper.
“Izzy,”hesaid,settinghispalmsonthedoor,oneoneachsideofher.“We’reabouttoplayabitofatrustexercise.Okay?”
“Hardpass,”shesaid,hereverycellfocusedonthewayhisbodyhadherscagedin,againstthedoor.“ThelasttimeIdidoneofthosetrustthings,JoshletmefallandIbruisedmytailbone.Icouldn’tsitcomfortablyforweeks,thewang.”
“Notthatkindoftrustexercise.Thisismoreofalookintomyeyesandjusttrustmesortofthing.”
“Oh-kay,”shesaid,raisinghereyestohis,feelinglikegravitywaspullinghertowardhim.Hervoicewasgruffwhenshesaid,“I’llplay.”
“Good.”Blakeswallowedandsaid,“Sowebothknowtherearerulesthathavepreventedusfrom…gettingcloser.”
Izzytriedforcasualagainbysaying,“Employeehandbook,thouartabeotch.”
“Right.”Hiseyesmovedalloverherfaceforamomentandthenhesaid,“Ican’t–Iwon’t–giveyouanydetailsatthispoint,butIthinkwecanbemorethanfriends.Ifwewantto.”
“What?”Izzyhadtobemisunderstanding.“How?Whatdoesthatmean?”
“I’mafraidIcan’tansweranyquestionsatthistime,”hesaid,lookingalittleuncomfortable.“Trustexercise,remember?”
Shewatchedhim,hereyesmemorizingeveryhandsomeplaneofhisfaceassheknewshe’dgoalongwithanythinghewanted.Shedidtrusthim.
HisAdam’sappledippedwhenheswallowed,andthenhesaid,“I’mfinewithstayingthewayweare,though,sonopressureifthat’swhatyouwant.”
Hewatchedherand?wowww-shenearlymeltedfromthelook.Hisjawflexedandtheirbreathmingledandtheworldheldstillforasecondwhentheireyeslocked.Theymovedtogetherthetiniestbit,anearlyimperceptiblesway,asifonewasamagnet,theothersteel.
Izzy’sthroatfeltdryashereyestraveledoverhisface.Shemanagedtobreatheoutthewords,“I,um,Iwouldverymuchliketoexploremorethan–”
Hismouthcutheroff,landinghardonhersasheinhaledsharply,likehe’dbeenwokenfromadream.Heangledhisheadandwentdeep,andIzzyforgotwhateverykissbeforethisfeltlike.Shecouldn’thearorseeorbreatheanythingbuthim;hewashercenter.
Hismouthwentwildonhers,kissingherlikeitwastheonlythinghe’deverwantedtodo,andsheraisedherhandsandsetthemonhischest.?Graspedathissweatshirt,needingtogetcloser.Togetmore.
Hispalmsstayedplantedonthedoorashisbodypressedagainsthers,ashesteppedevencloser.Shecouldfeeltheheatofhim,ofthatsolid,warmbody,andshefelthungry.Starved.Shefistedhisshirtandbitdownonhislowerlip,whichmadehimgruntandpresscloserstill.
“Thatkissyesterdayfuckingguttedme,”hesaidagainstherlips.“It’sallI’vethoughtaboutsince.”
“Wasthatyou,”shesaidbreathlessly,withoutopeninghereyes,thrilledatthethoughtofhimbeingevenhalfasobsessedasshe’dbeen.“Idreamtaboutitlastnight.”
“Tellme,”hesaid,movinghismouthdowntolickatherneck.
“Can’t,”shesaid,meltingashenippedherskinandmadeherburnallover.“Tooembarrassing.”
“Comeon,”hesaid,histongueslidingoverthespot.
Shesighed,lettingherheadfallbacktogivehimbetteraccess.
“Tellmeanyway,”hegrowled,hisvoiceraspyinherearashenippedherearlobe.“Wherewerewe?”
“Inyourroom,”shesaid,strugglingtoformwordsashekissedherthroat.“Newbed.”
Heraisedhisheadandlookedalittlewild-eyed.“Naked?”
“Sonaked,”shesaid,andthelookonhisfacewhenshesaidthattoldhertheywereabouttohavesexagainstherfrontdoor.
Andshe’dneverwantedanythingmore.
Herhandsfoundthebottomofhishoodieandslidunderneath,touchingthetaut,hotskinofhisshreddedstomach–?holyshit.Hesuckedinabreathashispalmsgavewaytohisforearmsonthedoor,puttinghisbodyflushagainstherswithoutthetiniestbitofspacebetweenthem.
“Iz.”Shefelttheheatofhisgazebeforehismouthwentbacktohers,feedingherunbridledkissesthatmadeherpushherselfagainsthim.?Hepickedherupandshewrappedherlegsaroundhiswaist,takingeveryhotkisshedeliveredashecarriedhertowardthehall.Herfingersdroveintohishairandshewonderedhowitwaspossibletofeelsomuch.
Shewasweakenedbyit,thepowerofherwant,whileatthesametimefeelingstrengthineverymeetingoftheirmouths.ShewantednothingintheworldbutBlake,nothingintheworldbutthetwooftheminthatmoment.?Itdidn’tseempossible,buthewas?everything?toherinthatwhite-hotminute.
Hemadeasoundinhisthroat,butinsteadofwalkingintoherbedroom,heturned.
Hewalkedthroughthekitchen–oritseemedlikethekitchenbutshewastoolostinhislipsandthewayhisteethtoyedwithherlowerliptoworryaboutgeography–andthen–
Thenhesetherdownonthekitchentable.
Sheopenedhereyes–whichwasfarmoredifficultthanitsounded–andhewaslookingdownatherwithsomuchsexinhiseyesthatshefeltdizzy.?Hisfacewasflushedashesaid,“Ihaveanidea.”
Holyshiiiiiiit,Mr.Chestwantedkitchentableaction??Shetriedtosoundchillwhensheremovedalltenfingersfromhisthickhairandcasuallysaid(asherbloodpressurehitwhatmust’vebeenacatastrophicrangebecauseherhandsstartedshakingandherlipsfelttingly),“Changeofplans,Phillips?”
“Yeah.”Heranathumboverhercheekandsaid,“Iwanttotakeyouout.”
Blake
Hewatchedthatlittlewrinkleformbetweenhereyebrows,likeshewasconfused.
Yeah,hegotthat.HewasalonewithIzzyandtheywerefinallyfreetodowhateverthehelltheywanted,yethewaspumpingthebrakes.?Idiotmuch?
Butthethingofitwas,hereallylikedIz.Helikedbeingfriendswithher,regardlessoftheshapeofherbody(perfect)andtheprettyofherface.Helikedthesmellofherhairandthewayhernosesquinchedwhenshegrinned,buthe?loved?hersmartassfuckeryevenmore.
Somuchsothatnow,ontheeveoftheirinterpersonalpossibilitiesbeingsuddenlygreen-litandwide-open,hewasnervousthatrushingtosexmightsomehowscreweverythingup.
Hesaid,“Ican’tbelieveI’msayingthis,butzero-to-one-hundredseemsunwise.Shouldwemaybestopfordinner?”
Izzyblinkedupathimbeforeshesaid,“Wait.You’rehungry?”
“No,”hesaid,soothedbythefactthatshelookedjustasdisorientedashefelt.“I’maskingifyou’llgotodinnerwithmetonight.”
“Well,Idon’tknow,”shesaid,blinkingfaster.“Whereareyougoingtotakeme?”
“Whereveryouwant,”hesaid,andherealizedhemeantit.Helookedatthatupturnedfaceandfeltalittleunnervedbyhowwillinghewastogiveherwhatevershewanted,dowhateversherequested.
“SoParisfordinnersoundsgood,”shesaid,reachingoutahandtotugonthestringsofhishoodie.“Butonlyifwewearberets.Doyouhaveaberet?”
“Negative.Noonelooksgoodinaberet.”
“AudreyHepburndid,”shesaid.
“Debatable,”hereplied.God,hewas?sointothewayheneverknewwhatwasgoingtocomeoutofhermouththatithadbecomeproblematic.Hetextedandcalledherwaytoooften,buthonestly–talkingtoherwasallheeverwantedtodo.?Hesaid,“Andnoberets.”
“Fine.”Shegrinned,givinghimherfull-scalesmileassheleanedbackonherarms.“HowaboutdinnerinTuscany?”
You’repicky,”hesaid,leaningdowntorubhisnoseagainsthercollarbonebecausesomethingaboutitwasdrivinghimwild,“AndrealItalianspaghettiisnothinglikewhatyou’reusedto.I’mafraidyou’llstarve.”
Heliftedhisheadandwonderedhowasmartasssmirkcouldmakehimfeelsounbalanced.
“SoItalyisout,then,becauseobviouslyspaghettiistheonlypossibledinneritem.”Shepursedherlips,likeshewasseriouslyconsideringtheiroptions,andsaid,“Thenallthat’sleftisJohnny’sSteakhousedownonLStreet,Iguess.”
“Perfect,”hesaid,needingtokissheragain.Heloweredhismouth,hypnotizedbythewayshelookedathim,andjustwhenhislipstouchedhersshesaid,
“ButIcan’tgowithyoutoyourgaragenow.”
Hepulledbackfromthekiss.“Whynot?”
“Youknow.”Sheshruggedandrubbedhernoseagainsthis,softandslowasherbreathtouchedhislips,anditcausedabizarrephysicalreaction.Themovementmadesomethinginhischestpinch,andnowhewasconvincedhewaslosinghismind,becausefuckingchestpinchesinresponsetophysicalcontactwerenotarealthingforgrown-assadults.
“Idonotknow,”hemanaged,andpulledbackalittlefather.“You’rebailingonme?”
“Here’sthething,MisterChest,”shesaid,scootingoveronthetablejustenoughtodropherfeettothefloorandstand.Hewatchedasshetuckedherhairbehindherears,tookadeepbreath,thenhithimwith,“IfIseeyouincoverallswithawrenchinyourhand,there’snotellingwheretheafternoonwillgo.Andaslovelyasthat…imagining?sounds,Ireallywanttogoonadatewithyoutonight.”
“Dammit,Shay,”BlakebitoutthroughgrittedteethassexualimagesofheandIzzyonthetrunkofhercarcameathim,“ItoldyouIdon’thavecoveralls.”
Thatmadehersnortandtapherforeheadwithherindexfinger.“Butyoudouphere.”
Hecouldn’tholdbackthesmile,justlikehecouldn’tstophimselffromreachingoutandgivingherponytailatug.“SoIhavetogotoSpringfieldbymyselfbecauseyou’realittlepervert?”
Sheshruggedagainandsaidaroundagiggle,“Soitwouldseem.”
“That’snotfair.”
“Lifeisn’tfair.”
“You’reanasshole,”hesaid,pullinghiskeysoutofthefrontpocketofhisjeans.“Didyouknowthat?”
“AnassholewhowillFacetimeyouthroughtheentirerepair.”Sheslidherfingersthroughhisandpulledhimbehindher,throughthekitchenandtowardthedoor.Hersmallhandinhis,tugginghimalong,causedthatfuckingidioticchest-pinchthingagain,whichwould’vepissedhimoffifshehadn’tmadehimlaughbysaying,“TheonlydifferencewillbethatIcannotdigitallygooseyouwhileyouleanovermyengine.”
“Youwould’vegoosedme?”heasked,releasingherhandtomesswiththetendrilsaroundherfacethathadfallenoutofherponytail.“Digitally?”
“Ohmigod,youknowwhatImean,”shesaid,laughingandbattingathishands.“Iwasreferringtothemethodofcommunication,notthemethodofgoosing.”
Shewentuponhertiptoesandkissedhimthen,andhewasstillgrinninglikeanidiotwhenheclimbedintohiscarandputthekeysintheignition,twentyminuteslater.Hewasabouttopullawaywhenthephonebuzzedinhispocket.
Heexpecteditbehislittlesmartass,butitwasanemailfromhisBrad,instead.Hewasmilesawayfromcaringenoughtoreadit–itwasSaturday,forGod’ssake–whenhesawthesubjectline.
Re:ReconfiguredOrgChart–V.2?(revised)
“Sonofabitch.”Blakegotthatfeelinginhisgut,theonethattoldhimhewasgoingtofuckinghatethatmessage,andherubbedhistemplewithhisfingers.?Shit,shit,shit.
Butjustashewasabouttoclickthelink,heclosedtheemailapp,instead.
“Nope,”hemutteredtohimself,puttingthephonebackinhispocketandbucklinghisseatbelt.Hepulledawayfromthecurb,stoodonthegaspedal,andmadethedecisiontoignorehismessagesuntilMondaymorning.Chapter13
Izzy
“Yeah,baby,rightthere,”Izzymoaned.
“Shutup,”hegruntedthroughgrittedteeth.
“Buthoney,thewayyourshirtisridingupsoIcanseeyourlowerbackisjustworkingforme,”Izzysaid,reallydoingherbesttosounddisgusting.“IknowItoldyouI’dstop,butit’simpossibleformetokeepfromlosingmyshitwhenyou’retossingallofthiscar-fixing-porninmyface.”
“Hasanyoneevertoldyou,”Blakepanted,obviouslystrugglingtodosomethingtothenewalternatorhewasinstallinginhervehicle,“thatyou’reanobnoxiouspainintheass?”
“Oh,tonsofpeople.Allthetime.Butdon’tchangethesubject.”
Hemadealaughsoundbutkeptworking.“Andthesubjectwouldbe…?”
“Howaesthetically-pleasingthiswholevideochatis.”IzzylookedattheFacetimedisplayandsawthey’dbeentalkingforoveralmosttwohours–basicallytheentiretimehe’dbeenworkingonhercar.
Itfeltlikefiveminutes.
She’dnever–inherentirelife–hadasmuchfunasshehadwithBlake.Itwasliketheirbrainswerein-syncorsomething;healwaysgotherweirdsenseofhumorandplayedwithherinthemostdelightfulway.
Whichwasprobablywhatmadetheirwholemaybe-taking-this-to-the-next-levelthingsopetrifying.Whatifitruinedeverything?
“Ican’ttellyouhowgladIamthatmyworkisgettingyouoff,”hesaid,andherstomachdipped.
Somehowhearinghimsay?gettingyouoff?wasaturn-on.
Buteverythingabouthimwasaturn-on.
“Listen,bruh,I’vegottogo,”shesaid,cluelessastowhatshewasgoingtowearthatnight.Shewantedtolookgood,butnottrying-too-hardgood.“I’vegotadatetonightwithaguyImetatStarbucks,andIwantplentyoftimetogetready.”
“Isthatright?”Helookedawayfromherengineanddirectlyintohisphone,whichhe’dproppedontopofhisrollingtoolbox,andpointedather.“Goodlookin’fella?”
“Youcouldsaythat,”shesaid,smilinglikealovesickteenager.
“Smart?”Hesetdownhistoolsandwipedhishandsonhisthighs.
“Oh–notatall,”sheteased,laughingwhenhegaveherashockedlook.“HerequestedaphysicalchallengeduringBillboardAssholes,ifyoucanbelievethat,andhealsoputschiaseedsineverything.Imean,whodoesthat,right?”
“Howthehelldoyouknowaboutthechia?”heasked,lookingamused.
Sheshrugged.“WhenItookcareofyourcats,Icouldn’thelpbutnoticeyouhadtheindustrial-sizedbaginyourpantry.”
“Yousnoopinglittleshit,”hesaid,pickingupthephonesohecouldmoveitclosertohisface.Hiseyesweretwinklywhenheaskedher,“Whatelsedidyounotice?”
“Okay–confession,”shesaid,amusedthatwithBlake,shewasn’tevenembarrassed.“Ididsnoop,butlike,quickglancinglooksintodrawers–Ididn’ttouchor?rifle?throughanything.”
Hegaveheralooklikehedidn’tbelieveherandsaid,“What’sthecoolestthingyoufound?”
Izzythoughtaboutthatforasecondbeforesaying,“Yourdrawerfullofglasses.Itookapictureofmyselfineverysinglepair.”
Thatmadehislipsslideintotheteasinggrinthatshe’ddecidedwasherfavoriteofallhissmiles.(Thecurrenttopfivewere1.Teasinggrin,2.Sexysmirk,3.Sarcasticnear-smile,4.Full-onsunshine,and5.You’re-an-idiot-but-it-amusesmeliptwitch.)
Hesaid,“SowhenyousayIdidn’ttouchorriflethroughanything,youmeanbesideswearingallofmyglassesandviolatingmychiaprivacy.”
“Ididn’twearthem,Itriedthemon,”shesaid,feelingasiftheclarificationmattered.“Andwhohaseightpairsofniceglasses?Ithinkyoumightbeasociopath.”
“Iwearglasseseveryday,evenifIwearcontactsforafewhours,soeightpairsfor365daysseemsminimaltome.”Hetiltedhisheadandsaid,“Ifyouaskme,thepersonwithonlyonepairisthesociopath.”
“Noneedforname-calling,andnooneaskedyou.”
“Sowhat’stheleastcoolthingyoufound,then?”heasked.
“Asidefromthebuttloadofchia?”
“Howmuchchiaconstitutesabuttload,Shay?”
“Counttheonesinyourpantryandthat’stheanswer,Phillips.”
“Naturally.Weirdthing.Go.”
“Okay–thethingIfoundtroublinginyourapartmentwasthegeriatricsexbook.”
Hecoughedout,“Excuseme?”
Izzygrinnedathishorror.“There’sabookinyourhallclosetthatlookslikeitcameoutinthe1950’s,andit’scalledDeliciousSex.Imean,I’mallforhoningyourcraftandreadingalltheresources,butIdon’tthink–”
“Holyshit–wasitonthebottomofthecloset,inthatstackofbooksonthefloor?”heasked,pressinghisfingersintohistemples.
“Yeah.”
“Awwww,gawwwwd?–thosebooksbelongtomygrandparents.”Helookedqueasyashesquintedandsaid,“There’sseriouslyasexbookinthatstack?”
Izzystartedlaughing.She’dbeenabouttoaccusehimoflying,buthelookedtoodisgustedforhernottobelievehim.Shesaid,“Notjustabookaboutsex,butabookabout?delicious?se–”
“Stopit.”Heshookhisheadandpointedather,feigninganger.“Yoursnoopinghas?ruined?NanaandPapaforme,youlittleshit.”
“Yeah,I’mgonnagonow,”shesaid,herlaughssimmeringtoasmile.“Seeyouatsix?”
Hisfakerageslidintoanicesmile.“Seeyouatsix.”
Blake
Blake:Icanseeyoupeekingthroughtheblinds.
Izzysmiledasshewatchedhimwalkuptothestoop,lookingdownathisphone.Steppingawayfromthewindow,shetextedback:?I’mwatchingformyhotdate,Egomaniac.Noteverythingisaboutyou.
Blake:Openthegoddamndoor.
Izzytookadeepbreath.Justhoursearlier,she’dbeennervoustoseehimbecauseshe’dbeenembarrassedaboutkissinghim.Nowshewasnervousbecausetheyweregoingonanactualdateandwouldlikelybedoingevenmorekissingbytheendofthenight.?Shewastiedupinanticipationandexcitementandterror,becausesomethingaboutthenightfeltbig.
Sheslidthephoneintothepocketofhertweedskirt(newandcuteandperfectlymatchedtoawhiterufflypirateshirtwithanopencardigan),crossedthelivingroom,andpulledopenthefrontdoor.
Gawwwwwwwd.??Blakestoodthere,lookingbeautiful,whichwasnothingnew.Goodhair,knee-weakeningcologne,andaV-necksweater/button-downshirtcombothatshowcasedthehelloutofthatmile-widechestandspectacularpecs;themancouldservealook.
Butthosethingswerenothing–?nothing?–comparedtothewayhewaslookingather.Helookedlikeshefelt,likehewasfilledwithanticipationandintensity,andthatwasenoughtomakeherwanttofaint.
Especiallywhenhewasholdingabouquetofbrightyellowdaffodils.
Andsmellinglikesomethingshewantedtobite.
“Hi,”shesaid,feelingbreathlessandincapableofwords.
Thatmadehimsmileandholdouttheflowers.“Hi.”
“Ohmigod,thankyou.Ilovedaffodils.Didyouknowthat?”Shetriedrememberingifshe’devertoldhimthatasshetookthemfromhim.
“Idid?not?know,”hesaid,hisvoicealittlequieterthanusual.“Butyou’rewelcome.Mymotheralwayssaidthatdaffodilsareliketwoflowersinone,so,uh,thatiswhyIchosethem,Iguess.”
Shenodded.“Letmejustputtheminwater,”shesaid,walkingawayfromhimandtryingtofindcalmassheheadedforthekitchen.“Andthenwecango.”
“Sure,”hesaid.Heclearedhisthroat,andthenheadded,“Ialsohavesomeotherflowersthatthefloristtalkedmeinto.I,ah,Idon’tthinkthey’rereallyathingforadinnerdate,butshewaskindofbossyandinsistedyou’dwantthemsoI…”
Andhejusttrailedoff.
ThatmadeIzzystopinthekitchendoorway.Sheturnedaround,andBlakewasstillstandingjustinsidethedoor,holdinga…wristcorsage?
“Isthatforme?”sheasked.
Helookedembarrassedandgaveheralittlehalf-shrug.“Yeah,butit’stotallyfineifyoudon’twantit.Thelady–”
“Oh,Iwantit.”Sherushedbacktohimandlookeddownattheprettyyellowandwhiteroses.Shehadn’tgonetoanyformaldancesinhighschoolbuthadalwayswantedacorsage.“It’sgorgeous.”
“Really?”Hewaslookingdownatherwithwrinkledeyebrows.“Areyoumessingwithme?”
“No,”shesaid,gettingalittlesidetrackedbythecurlofhisblackeyelashes.“Iloveit.AndIlovethatyoucouldn’ttellthefloristno.”
“Well,letmeputiton,then,”hesaid,hiseyesonhersasheliftedherwristwithhisfreehandandattemptedtoslideonthecorsage.Buttheelasticbandgothunguponherring,andthenagainonherpinkiefinger.
Shelookeddownand–?dearGod?–sawthetiniestshakeinhishand.
“Areyou…nervous?”sheasked,unabletobelieveitasshelookedupintohisface.
“No,”hesaid,dismissively,andimmediatelyfolloweditupwith,“Actuallyyes.Fuck.”
ThatmadeIzzysmilethroughhernerves.“Me,too.”
“Itjustfeelsimportant,”hesaid,lookingdownandstraighteningtheflowersonherwrist.“Tonight,thatis.”
Izzynodded.“Weird,right?”
Hereturnedhisgazetohers.“Very.”
“Butthat’sdumb,”shesaid,hernervousenergytakingover.“Becauseit’snot.”
“It’snot?”
“No,”shesaid,rubbingherlipstogether.“You’rejustfeedingmebecauseI’mamazing,andIjusthappenedtowearmake-upandaproperbrafortheoccasion.Nobigs.”
Heraisedaneyebrow.“Properbra?”
“Anundergarment,”sheexplained,shiftingherweighttoonefootasherbigmouthtookover.“Withwiresinsideofittopushtheladiesupandmakethemmoreappealingtothemalegaze.”
Helookedlikehewantedtosmile.“Andyoudon’tusually,um–”
“Yeah,no.”Shewavedahandandsaid,“Idon’thavealottoworkwithupstairs,soI’mallaboutcomfort.Jogbrasandbralettesaremyjam.”
Shutup,youidiot!?Izzyalwaysrambledwhenshewasnervous,butthiswasperhapsherfirstovershareofwhichfoundationgarmentswereher?fuckingjam.
Blakeclearedhisthroat.“Isee.”
“Ohmigod–didIjustruintheillusion?”?Whywashermouthsofreakingvomitousallthetime??Shesaid,“Wasmyadmissionakintoamanopeningadatebysharingthedetailsofhismicropenis?Shouldwejustcallitanightnow,beforeyouhavetospendmoneyondinnerwhenyouknowyoudon’twantmicropeen?”
“Forfuck’ssake,Iz,”hesaid,soundingirritated.
“Oh,myGod,I?did!”
“Idon’tgiveashitaboutyourmicropenis,okay?”Hegrabbedthefrontofhercardiganinbothhandsandpulledhercloser,frustrationandamusementshininginhisbrowneyes.“Ispendhourseverydayobsessingabout?all?ofyou,everylittlebit.”
“Youdo?”shesaid,hervoicebarelythere.
“Yes,Ifuckingdo,”hesaidaroundanexhale.“Soyoucan’ttalkaboutyourunderthingswithoutmakingmecrazy.Withoutmakingmethinkaboutyourskinandyourbodyandthewayyou’dlookingoddamnlace.”
DearLord.?Shefeltwinded,instantlyrenderedoxygen-deficientbytheforcefulheatbehindhiswords.
Sherestedherhandsonhischestandsaid,“HowdidyoumanagetotellmeIhaveamicropenis,yetstillmakemewanttogiveyouastandingovation?”
“I’mahellofagoodpresenter.”
“I’dsayso,”shesaid.“NowondertheysentVPBlaketoBoston.”
“Yeah.”Hegotawrinklebetweenhiseyebrows,likehewasdistractedbyhisthoughts,andheswallowed.
“I’mreadytobefednow,”shesaid,andthatseemedtoremindhimtoforgetaboutwork.“Unlessyou’rejuststallingbecauseofthe–”
“SweartoGodifyousaymicropenisonemoretime–”
“Fine,”shewhispered.
Theylefttheapartment,andwhenBlakeopenedherdoorforher,sherolledhereyes.“Iappreciatethechivalrousgesture,Phillips,butIpromiseyouthatIknowhowtoopenacardoor.”
ThatmadehismouthsplitintotheFull-onSunshine.“Noted.”
Hisfacewasrightthere,rightabovehers,andshedesperatelywantedhimtokissher.
“Bytheway,”hesaid,liftingafingerandtracinghereyebrowwiththesoftesttouch.“Itiskillingmenottokissyou,butIdon’twanttomessupyourprettyredlipstick.”
“Pleasedestroyit,”sheblurtedout,“Unlessyou’rechick–”
Alltenofhisfingersslidintoherhair–thankGodshe’dstraightenedit,notthatshewould’vecared–andhekissedherlikeitactually?had?beenkillinghim.Sheraisedherhandstohisstrongfaceandkissedhimbackwitheverythingshehad,hopingtomakehimfeelevenhalfofwhathedeliveredwheneverhislipsmethers.
Goinguponhertiptoes,Izzypulledhisheadcloser,takingtheleadassheattemptedtoconsumeeveryaddictivebiteofBlakethatshecouldget.Hegrowledintohermouth,hisfingersflexing,andtheheatofitallmadeherburn.
KissingBlakewassomuchmorethanjustkissing,andshesuspectednothingwouldevercompare.Itwasteethandtongueandlipsandbreath,teasingandslidingandutteroralchaos–anonslaught,andhands-downthemosteroticactivityshe’deverparticipatedin.
Asidefromsexitself.
“Getyourassinthecar,”hesaid,hislipsbarelyabovehers,soclosethatshecouldstillfeeltheirimpression,“Beforewegetarrested.”
“Kissingisn’tillegal,”shewhispered,rubbingherlipsagainsthis.
“Butwhatyourkissesmakemewanttodoagainstthesideofmycaris.”
Blake
“SoIwasthinking,”Izzysaid,andBlakecouldseeinhisperipherythatshewasturningtowardhiminthepassengerseat.
“Godhelpme.”
“Onanormalfirstdate,thetwopeoplegettoknoweachotherslowly.Butsincewealreadyknoweachother,maybeweshoulddoaninformationspeed-round.”
Hermindwasalwayswhirring.Itwasdizzyingandfascinating,allatonce.Hesighed,“Pleaseexplain.”
“Okay,sousuallytherearethingsthatdate-eeswanttoknowbutcannotask.Aboutexes,familystuff,howmanybabiestheotherwants;off-limitstopicsthatmakeyousoundcrazyordesperateifyouaskthem,right?”
“Right…?”
“Sohowabout,atdinner,weallowallquestions.Becauseobviouslyifyouaskmeaboutanex,Iknowyouaren’tapotentially-jealouspsycho.AndifIaskyouifyouwanttogetmarriedsomeday,youknowI’mnottryingtotieyoutothealtarandbabyyouup.”
“Idon’tthinkthatexpressionisright.”
“Butyoufeelme,right?”
“Sure.”BlakepulleduptotheredlightandlookedoveratIzzy.?Yeah,hefuckingfelther.
Shelookedsoincrediblethathe’dhadtoforcehimselftostoplookingatherateveryopportunity.Ifhedidn’tmakeaconsciouseffort,hemightneverstopstaring.?AndhewouldneverwanthertothinkDateIzzywasanybetterthaneveryotherversion.
BecauseIzzywasthesexiestpersonhe’devermet–allthetime.Inhermessyponytailsanddirtyglasses,inherskirtsandheelsatwork;hewaspainfullyattractedtoher,nomatterwhat.Ithadwaymoretodowiththecrinklesinhernoseandthesoundofherlaughthananythingelse.
Buttonight–holy?shit.Herlonghair,thatlipstick,thoselegsinthatskirt;allofittogetherwouldtemptanyonewitheyeballs.Butcombineitwiththepunchofherquietperfumeandthefactthatshe’dgottendressedtogooutwith?him,andhewasfuckingonedge.
“Okay,”shesaid,leaningforwardtoturnupthevolumeontheradio.“Assoonasweorder,itison.”
“Areyouclosewithyourfamily?”Izzyasked,breakingherrollinhalf.“Youalreadyknowmyonly-childfamilyhistory,sonowIneedyours.Andgivemetheuglytruth.”
Blakepickeduphislowballglassandgaveheralookoverit,likehewasdisappointedinsuchadateyquestion.“I’mclosewithmyparentsandmygrandparentsonmymom’sside.Onlytalktomydad’sparentsatholidays.Ihavetwoyoungerbrotherswhobugtheshitoutofme,soIguessyoucouldsaywe’reclose,aswell.”
Shenodded.“Interesting.”
“Notintheslightest,”hesaid,andhetookadrinkofhisScotch.
“Nextquestion,then,”shesaid,rollinghereyesathistone.“Haveyoueverbeeninlove?”
Hesetdownhisglass.“No.”
Thatmadehertiltherheadandnarrowhereyes.“Really?”
Heletaquickbreathouthisnose.“Iwasengagednotthatlongago,butafterthefactIwasabletoseethatitwasn’ttherealthing.”
“Really?”Izzygrabbedherwineglass,fascinatedbythethoughtofBlakewitharing.“Whathappenedafterthefact?”
Hestaredatherforalongminute,likehewasweighinghisthoughts,andthenhesaid,“IrealizedthatIhadstrongerfeelingsforoneofmyfriendsthanIeverhadforher.”
“Oh.”Shestaredbackathim,herheartbeatinginherforehead.“Isthatright?”
“Itis.”
“Mmm,interesting,”shemanaged,feelingsoflusteredshedidn’tevenknowhowtostringwordstogether.
“Myturn.”Blakeleanedforwardalittle,thelightfromthetable’scandlereflectinginhisdarkeyes.“Have?you?everbeeninlove?”
Sheshookherhead.“Nope.Never.Notevenclose.”
Heraisedhiseyebrows,waitingforastory,whichmadehershrugandsay,“I’veneverevengoneoutwithsomeonemorethantwicesincehighschool,soI’m–asHalseywouldsay–badatlove.”
“Who?”heasked.
“Halsey,”shereplied,takingabiteoutofherroll.
“Isthatafriendofyours?”
“Ohmigod,she’slikeahugerockstar,”Izzysaid,tryingtopolitelytalkwithrollinhermouth.“You’veseriouslyneverheardofHalsey?”
“DoesshesinganythingI’dknow?”
“Um,?BadatLove,forstarters.”
Thatmadehimsmirkashewatchedherchew.“Whichisyourthemesong.Fullcirclerighthere,ladiesandgentleman.”
Sherolledhereyes.
Hesaid,“Whydon’tyoudate?”
Ifshehadn’tbeenQuestionGame’screator,thatmight’vefeltintrusive.Sheshruggedandsaid,“I’mnotbigontalkingtopeopleIdon’tknow.”
“Butyounevershutup.”
“BecauseI?know?you.”
“Onlinedating?”
“I’vetriedtheappsbutI’veneverdonemorethanscroll.”?Shefeltlikealoser,likeitwasobviousshewasatotalloner,soitwastimeforthenextquestion.?“Kidsandmarriage–inorout?”sheasked.
“Holyshit,areyoutryingtotiemetothealtarandbabymeup?”
“Idon’tthinkthatexpressionisright,”shesaid,laughing.?WhichmadeBlakelaugh,too,andthatwastheendofthequestionportionofthedate.Theyfellintothemselvesafterthat,leaningonthesarcasticbanterthatwastheirnaturallanguageofchoice.
Itwasn’tuntiltheirplateswereclearedandtheywereenjoyingapost-dinnerglassofwinethatthingschanged.?Blakewastalkingaboutoneofthenewmachinesatthegym,andIzzysaid,“Y’know,Ihaven’tgonebacktheresincethedayIsawyouintheelevator.”
“Whynot?”
Sheshrugged.“Theydidn’thaveheavyenoughweightsforme,Iguess.”
Thatearnedheracockedeyebrow.“Really.”
Sheknewsheshouldn’tovershare,butthewineandrelaxeddinnerhadloosenedhertongue.Sheranafingerovertherimofherglassandsaid,“BecauseifIgoallthetime,myroutinevisitswillgraduallydimthememoryofthatfirsttime.AndIdon’twanttoeverforgetthatchemistry-filledelevatorride.”
Hissmiledisappearedandhelookedserious.
“Imean,Iknowit’sanobigdealthingnow–you’reBlakeandI’mIzzy.We’refriendsorwhatever.Butatthetime,itwaslikethisgreatcosmiccoincidence,thatIwouldrunintoMr.ChestfromStarbucks,andIalwayswanttorememberthemagicofallthatcracklingpotential.”
Hedidn’tsayanything.?Atall.?Hejustwatchedher.
“ObviouslyI’mbuzzed,”sheteased,rollinghereyesandliftingtheglasstoherlips.“Ishallshutupnow.”
“Don’t,”hesaid.“IthinkaboutiteverysingletimeIstepintothatelevator.It’sourelevator.”
“Youdo?”sheasked,unabletobecool.“Itis?Seriously?”
“Hell,yes,”hesaid,hisjawflexing.“Irotatebetweenthememoryofwhatitwas,andthefantasyofwhatitcould’vebeen.”
“Youfantasizeabouttheelevator?”Izzyleanedforwardonherelbows.“Ohmigod,Ido,too.Allthetime.”
Hiseyesdippeddowntohermouthashesaid,“Aboutyouhittingthestopbutton?”
Sheranhertongueoverherbottomlip.“That’swhereitstarts.”
“Tellmewhereitfinishes,Shay,”hesaid,quietlyandcalmly.Noonearoundthemwouldeverguessthathewasaskinghertoshareasexualfantasy.?Noonewho’deverknown?her?wouldguessthatshewould.
“Withmyhandsonthewall,”shesaid,stucksomewherebetweenembarrassmentandtotalarousal.“Andwithyoubehindme,mostofthetime.”
Heraisedhiseyebrowslikehewasamused,buthisjawwasrigid.“Mostofthetime.”
“Itvaries,y’know?”
“Yeah,Ifucking?do?know,”hesaid,andIzzy’sstomachdipped.
“Sotellme,Chest,”shesaid,intimidatedandtotallyturnedonbyhishoteyes.“Whereitfinishesforyou.”
Shedidn’tknowwhatshe’dbeenexpecting–Blakewasn’tthekindofguytobackdownfromachallengeso?ofcourse?he’danswer–butitwasn’t,“Yourbackagainsttheelevatorwall,yourlegswrappedaroundmywaist,andmynameonyourtongue.”
“Ah,”shemanaged,unsureofhowtobehaveasherbodyspontaneouslycombusted.“I,um,IthinkIlikeyoursbetter.”
“Doyouwantmorewine?”heasked.
“No,thankyou.”
“Doyouwanttogo?”
“Yes,please.”
Blake
BlakepulledintotheparkinggarageasIzzyrambledaboutthesongontheradio.Theentiredrivetohisplacehadbeen?off,withIzzybabblingasifsilencewouldkillherwhilethoughtsofsexualfantasiespingedthroughhishead.
Izzytriedtojumpstartaconversation,butitwasn’tmeanttobe.Hewasfuckingincapableofthinkingaboutanythingotherthantheimageshe’dputintohisdepravedmind.Whentheygotoutofthecarandwalkedtothebankofelevators,Blakecouldn’thelphimself.Hegrabbedherhandandlacedhisfingersthroughhers,needingtotouchher.
Thatmadehergrinathimandsay,“Youcouldn’tstayaway,couldyou?Youjust?had?totouchme.”
Hejustlookedather,becauseshewasn’twrong.
Izzyhittheupbutton,andsherubbedherthumbbackandforthoverhishandastheywaited.“Ithinktheboyswillbehappytoseeme.”
“Nah–they’llhateyouagain.Short-termcatmemory.”?Thedoorsopenedandtheysteppedinside.
“Thereisnosuchthing,andthosetwoarehopelesslydevotedtome.”
Thedoorsslidclosed.
Izzypressedthebuttonforhisfloorwithherfreehand.“IwishIhadtunainmypurse.”
“Saidnooneever,”hereplied.
Theelevatorstartedmoving,andithitBlakelikeafreighttrain.?Blakewatchedthenumberslightingup,hyperawareofIzzy’sscentandhowcloseshewasandthesizeofherhandinhis.?Inthefuckingelevator.Shelookedathimthen,andsomethinginhereyeswasdifferent.
“Blake,”shewhispered,likeshewasgoingtosaysomething,butshedidn’t.
Heturnedtowardher,justtheslightestbit,andheknewshewasthinkingthesamething.Hecould?feel?itinthewayshelookedathim.Theaircrackled,theywatchedeachotherforalongsecond,andtheneverythingexploded.
Izzy
Blake’shugehandscameuptoherfaceashismouthcamedownonhers.Shekissedhimbackwithferocitywhileshepushedherbodyintohis,movinghim–bothofthem–closertothestopbutton.
“Fuckingyes,Iz,”hesaidagainstherlipsasshereachedaroundhimanddepressedthebutton.?Theelevatorjerkedtoastop,causingthemtostumbleastep.Blaketookadvantageoftheimpetustomove,turningthemandpushingherupagainstthewall.
Was.This.Really.Happening??WasIzzyreallypinnedagainsthim,inthefreakingelevator,whilehekissedherlikehewantedtoeatherwhole??Shekissedhimbackwiththesameunhingedintensitythathewasgivingher,snakingherarmsaroundhisshoulders,crazedwithlust.
Hishandsslidupthebackofherthighs,stoppingatthebottomofherskirtashewhispered,“Isthisokay?”
“Don’tyoudarestop,”shesaid,needinghimlikesheneededoxygenatthatmoment.Everynerveinherbodywasbuzzingandconnectedtothepointsonherskinwherehishandswereresting.
“Shay,”hepanted,hisfingerstighteningonherskinbeforeslidinghigher.Shebitdownonhislipandmoanedintohismouthwhenhetouchedher–?holyhellthemanknewwhattodowithhishands?–andshelosttheabilitytoformulatelogicalthoughtsashemadeherfuckingclimb.
Gawwwwwd.
Itgotfranticasthealarmstartedgoingoff,remindingthemoftheirlimitedtimebeforemaintenancearrived.Acacophonyofzippersandwildhandsandrippingwrappersjoinedthejanglingelevatorbellasheliftedherinhishandsandthen—
Blake
“Oh,God,”Izzymoaned,herheelsbringinghimincloserasherheadfellbackagainsttheelevatorwall.
“Holyshit.”Blakegrittedhisteethandfroze,hiskneesnearlybucklingfromthefeelofhersurroundinghim.Nothinghadeverfeltthatgood,andwhensheopenedhereyes,hefelthergazeinhiseverymolecule.
“Chest,”shebitoutashestartedmoving,hereyesclosingasshemethimmove-for-move.Hecouldfeelhergrippingfingertipsthroughhisshirtandsweater,anditmadehimfuckingburn.She’dbeenineveryoneofhisfantasiessincethedaythey’dmet,buttherealityofsexwithIzzywasincomparable.
Shebreathed,“Youdonotsuckatthis,Phillips.”
“Nordoyou,”hequipped,hisentirebodyovercomewiththatannoyingemotionalpinchashelookeddownatherface.Hewasinthemiddleofthehottestsexualencounterofhislife,amind-blowingescapadeagainstthewallofanelevator,yethedesperatelywantedtokissthetipofherfrecklednose.
“Iz,”hesaid,raspingouthernamethroughaclenchedjaw.Everyfuckingmuscleinhisbodywastenseandtautastheirpacegotfaster,hotter.
Shepulledhisfacedowntohersandstartedkissinghim,desperateandhungryandwild,andthat’swhenthingscaughtfire.Hestoppedhearingthedeafeningalarmaseveryoneofhisfivesenses–hisentireconsciousness–narrowedinonthatonespotwheretheywerejoined.
“Weshouldprobablystop,”shesaid,panting,soundinglikesomeoneabsolutelynotinterestedinstopping.“Beforewegetarrested.”
“Ijust.Want,”hestarted,andthen–likeasexgoddess–shegavehimexactlywhathe’dbeenwaitingfor.Alltenofherfingernailspressedintohisshouldersasherentirebodytightenedandflexedaroundhim,makinghimgrowlout?fuckingthankyouholyshit?beforefollowingherfuckingamazinglead.
“Hetotallyknew,”Izzysaid,laughingbesidehiminthehallwayashepulledouthiskeys.
“Ofcourseheknew,”Blakereplied,relievedshewasabletolaughthatsecurityhadopenedtheelevatordoorsamerethreesecondsaftertheygottheirclothesreadjusted.Heslidhiskeyintothedeadboltandsaid,“Iknow?I?couldn’tstopgrinninglikeadumbass,whichmadetheelevator-stuckscenarioprettytoughtobelieve.”
“Yeah,yousuckatlying,”shesaid,chuckling.
“Totallydo,”helaughed,turningthelock.
Helookeddownather,grinningupathimwithmaximumnosecrinkle,andheknewhelovedher.Itdidn’tmakeadamnbitofsense,buthelovedhersofuckingmuchthatitterrifiedhim.
Itwastotallunacy.
Itwaswaytoosoontofeelthatmuch–impossibletoloveheralready–butheknewitwithabsolutecertainty.
“Bytheway,Mr.Chest,”Izzysaid,givinghimatotalsmartasssmilethatmadehimwanttopickherupandthrowheroverhisshoulder,“HaveItoldyouhowhappyIamthatyou’renolongerthebossofme?”?????????Chapter14
Izzy
IzzyscratchedGoodyear’sheadandwatchedBlakefreakout.
Technicallyhewasjuststandingbesideherinthelivingroom,holdinghiscatafterinjectingitwithinsulin.Buthisjawwasdoingthatflexingthing,hekeptpullingathisshirtcollar,andhehadn’tgivenhershitsincethey’dwalkedin.
Infact,he’dbeenincrediblypolitetoher.
Doyouwantsomethingtodrink??he’dasked.Andthenhefolloweditwith?Letmeknowifyouchangeyourmind.?Whatthehelldidthatevenmean?Washeregrettingtheirimpetuouselevatorliaisonandtryingtothinkofagentlewaytotellherthathewasnotatallinterestedinasleepover?
“Y’knowwhat?”hesaid,barelylookingatherashemovedthecatoutofherarm’sreachandontothefloor.“Thisshirtisdrivingmecrazy.Baddetergentorsomething.I’mgoingtogochange.”
“Okay,”Izzysaid,narrowinghereyesandwatchingashenearlyrantohisbedroom.
Shit,shit,shit.?Shefeltqueasy,literallyqueasy,asshewonderedwhatexactlywasupwithhim.Didheregrettheelevatorsex?Didhenotrespecthernow?(Ifthatwasthecase,screwhim,butstill–ouch)Washenervousshewaslookingforarelationship?
Holycrap–wasshe?
Shestartedpacing,andasshewalkedtowardthebigwindowswiththegorgeousview,sherealizedthatitmatteredtoomuchtoher.The?why?ofhisstrangebehaviorfeltlikeeverythingatonce,liketheworldwouldendifheremainedaloofanddistant.
DearGod,shecaredwaytoomuchaboutwhathethought.?No,no,no.?Caredwaytoomuchandalsofeltmildlypanickedatthethoughtofscrewingthingsupwithhim.
Wait–wassheinlovewithhim?
Izzyshookherheadandmuttered?nope?intotheemptylivingroom.Morethanfriendswaslightyearsawayfromin-love,andshewasjustgettingconfusedbecauseshehadn’tbeenmorethanfriendswithanybodyin,like,aneternity.
Shehadn’tknownhimlongenoughtoknowifhewasworthyofsharingherfavoritebananabread,muchlessherheart.
Justbecool,moron,andbecasual.
Sure,shethought,bitingdownonherfingernailandstaringoutoverthecity.?Noproblem.

Blake
Blakeyankedhisshirtofflikeitactuallyhadbaddetergent,eventhoughhisirritationhadnothingtodowithhisoxford.No,hisirritationhadtodowithhisconscienceandthefactthathehadtoopenthatfuckingemailbeforehecouldmoveforwardwithIzzy.
Asblissfulasignorancehadbeen–seriouslyit’dbeenatopfiveday–itcouldn’tbehisexcuse.
EspeciallywhenIzzyhadnoideathateverythingwaslikelyabouttochange,whichhewas.Beginningtorealizemadehimanasshole.Ahugeasshole.HewantedtobewithIzzyandheknewshewantedtobewithhim.Butwasallthey’ddonesincehereceivedthatemailjusthimbeingaselfishprick?Themorehethoughtaboutit,themorehebegantohavesecondthoughtsabouteverythingthathadtranspired.
Shit.
Blakewasfreakingout.Althoughhedidn’tknowwhattheemailsaid,morethananything,heknewhewouldneverwanttobethereasonthatIzzywassad,ormad.Fuck,couldhisheartevenhandleseeingherfacedoanythingbutsmile?
Whatthehellhadhedone?
HegrabbedaHenleyfromhiscloset,pulleditoverhishead,andassoonashisarmswerethroughthesleeves,hegrabbedhisphone.?Hecouldn’twaitanylonger.
Blakeopenedtheemail,dreadsettlingintohisstomach.Somehow,hejustknewitwasn’tgoingtobegood.Heclickedonthelink,and–
“Can’t,”hesaidunderhisbreath,throughgrittedteeth,swipingoutoftheattachmentbeforehehadachancetoseeit.Hesethisphoneonthedresser–face-down–andsteppedawayfromitwithhishandsuplikeitwasaloadedgun.
Shit,shit,shit.??Heknewlookingatitwastherightthingtodo,butthepartofhimthatwantedtofallasleepwrappedaroundIzzywouldn’tlethim.Hewastoodrunkonher,toolostineverycrinkleofherfrecklednose,togiveupthechancetofinishtheperfectdaywithalong,perfectnight.Itwaslazyandselfish–heknewthat–yethewasn’tstrongenoughtostophimself.
Hedraggedahandthroughhishairbeforeopeningthebedroomdoorandgoingbackoutintothelivingroom.
“Detergentcrisisaverted?”Izzyasked,andhewassurprisedtoseeherstandingnexttothedoor,lookingdownatherphonewithherpurseoverhershoulderlikeshewaswaitingaroundtoleave.
“Areyou…leaving?”heasked,disappointmentslammingintohim.
“Yeah,”shesaid,lookingathim.Hermouthturnedupintoasmartassgrinthatdidn’treachhereyes,andhernosedidn’tcrinkle.Still,sheteased,“Ourelevatorworkoutmademesleepy,sonowImustgocrash.AndTheDarklingneedstobefed.”
Helethisgazemovealloverher,takingineverysquareinchthathe’dhopedtoworship.“Butdidn’tyoufeedhimjustbeforeweleft?”
“Well,yeah,”shesaid,absentmindedlyrubbingafingeroverherlowerlip.“But,um,youknow.”
“Ah.”Blakescrubbedahandoverthetopofhishairandswallowedhard.ApparentlyheandIzwerefeelingentirelydifferentaboutthenight.?Noted.“LetmegograbmyphoneandI’lltakeyouhome.”
Hewentbackinhisroomandslippedthephoneintohispocket,butwhenhereturnedtothelivingroom,Izzywascroucheddown,pettingbothofhiscatswhiletalkingtotheminthefuckingsweetestvoice.
Thatpinchingfeelingreturnedwithsomuchforceitnearlybroughthimtohisknees,andhecouldn’tstophimselffrombitingoutthewords,“Holyshit,youaresofuckingbeautiful.”
Izzy
Izzygaspedasshelookedup,whichmadeherlosehersquatanddropbackontoherbutt.
Gawwwwd,thewayhe’dsaidit.
The?way?he’dsaidit.
He’dsaidthewordsthroughgrittedteethlikehemeantthemsohard.Andhisintenseexpressiondidn’tsoftenasshesmiledatherownklutziness.Hismouthwasfirm,hiseyessofiercethatshefeltthelookfromhead-to-toe.
“Youmeangraceful,”sheteased,becauseshewasnotequippedtoreceiveincendiarycomplimentsfromsomeonelikeBlake.
“IknowwhatImeant,”hesaid,crossingtheroomtostandaboveher.Heheldoutahandtohelpherup,andwhenshelethimpullhertoherfeet,heheldontoherhandanddidn’tletgo.“YouaresofuckingprettythatIhaveahardtimenotstaring.Obsessively.EverysecondthatI’mwithyou.”
“Ohmigod,”shesaid,blinkingandhopingshedidn’tsoundasflusteredasshefelt,“Youjustcan’tsaythingslikethattome.”
“Whynot?”Hedroppedherhandandranaknuckleoverhercheek,killingherwitheyecontactashisbigbodyseemedtohoverinfrontofher,surroundingher,ashisscentsnakedaroundherheadandmadeherhyperawareofhissexythroat.
Hereyesclosedoftheirownvolition,andsheswayedjustthetiniestbitbeforeforcingthemopen.Shedidn’tknowwhyhervoicecameoutasawhisperwhenshesaid,“Becauseitmakesmewanttobelieveit.”
“Iz,believeit,”hesaid,hisvoicequietashesteppedcloser.“YourfaceisallI’vethoughtaboutsinceyouscaldedmychestwithyourPSL.”
“Amy’sPSL,”shecorrected,herheartbeatingalittlefasterashishandswrappedaroundherwaistandpulledhercloser.
“Iwilltakeyouhomeifthat’swhatyouwant,”hesaid,loweringhisheadtogiveherneckTHEsoftestkiss.“Butifyou’reinterestedinstaying,nothinginthisworldwouldmakemehappier.”
“Whataboutalottowin?”sheasked,movingherheadsohehadbetteraccess.“Ibetthat’dmakeyouhappier.”
“Wrong,”hegrowled,scrapinghisteethagainstherskin.“Iwantyoumorethanmillions,thoughit’squitelikelyI’dregretthatdecisioninthemorning.”
Thatmadehersmileandputherhandsonthebackofhishead.“Worldpeacewouldsurelymakeyouhappier.”
“Youcan’tpinworldpeaceonme,”hesaidwithfalseindignation,hisfingersunbuttoningthetopbuttononherpirateblouseashistonguelickedoverherthroat.“Worldpeacewould–ofcourse–besublime,andIwouldchooseitoveryoubecauseI’mnotaselfishmonster.ButallIwanttonight,IsabellaClarence,isthis.”
“Icannotbelieveyouremembermymiddlename,”shesaidaroundalaugh.
“It’ssobizarrethatit’sunforgettable.”Heunbuttonedanotherbutton.“Justlikeyou.”
Izzysteppedback–well,asmuchashe’dlether–andsaid,“WellbeforeIcandecideonthesleepover,I’mgoingtoneedtoseeMr.Chest’schest.”
Hishandsstoppedmovingonherbuttonsandhisheadcameup.“Youjustseemeasapieceofmeat,don’tyou?”
“No,butIjustreallywanttoseeit,”shesaid,feelingonmoresolidfootingwhentheyweren’tbeingserious.“Ifeellikeoncewestartgettingbusy,I’llbetoodistractedtolook.”
“Didyoujustsay?gettingbusy,”heasked,reachingoverhisshouldertograbthebackofhisshirt.
“It’sbetterthanthealternative.”
“Whichis?”
“Thenasty,”shereplied.
Hepulledtheshirtoverhisheadanddroppeditontothefloor.
“Holyshit,”shesaidthroughclenchedteethbeforehermouthliterallydroppedwideopen.Mr.Chest’schestwaschestalperfection.
“The?nasty?isnotanalternativeatall,”hesaid,reachingouttoreturntohispreviousunbuttoningtask.
“Howaboutbanging?”sheasked,settingherhandsonhissternumandslowlyslidingthemuptowardhisshoulders.Itwassinfulandwrongandwrongandsinfulthatheshouldlooksobeautiful.It’sliketheysuper-sizedhishotgeneswhentheuniversewasstringinghimtogetherorsomething.
Hewasafreak,honestly.
“Toopedestrian,”hesaid,“We’rebetterthanbanging.”
“Pleasedon’tsaymakinglove,”Izzyobjected,watchingherfingersmoveoverhissculptedpectorals.“That’ssodisgusting.”
“Iwouldnever,”hesaid,flickingopenherremainingbuttons.“DoIlooklikeadouche?”
“Youlooklikeasexdream,”shesaid,thensuckedinabreathwhenheleaneddownenoughtodropahotkissonhercleavage.
“Asdoyou.”Heraisedhishead,hismouthinamischievousgrinashesaid,“Thisproperbraisincrediblyhot,bytheway.”
“Anopticalillusionthatreallymakesmymicropenispop.”
“That’sit,”hesaid,grabbingherwaistandtossingheroverhisshoulderasifshewere…well,somethingonewouldcarryontheirshoulder.?Izzysquealed,staringathissuper-musclybackashesaid,“Ifyoucallyourbreastsamicropenisonemoretime…”
“What?”sheasked,overcomewithgigglesashersilkyshirtslidoffofherupside-downtorsoentirelyanddroppedontothewoodfloor.“Whatchagonnado,Phillips?”
“Notsure,”hesaid,hisarmtighteningacrossthebacksofherlegsashestartedwalking.“Tapeyourmouthshut,maybe?”
Shekeptlaughingashewalkedthroughhisbedroomdoorway,andshesaidaroundacackle,“Butthenyou’llbedenyingyourselfthemagicofmymouth,Mr.Chest,andyoudon’twanttodothat.”
She’dmeantitasalightheartedteaseaboutkissing,butrealizeditsoundedfilthy.
Blakestoppedhisforwardmotionandsetherbackonherfeetalittleroughly.Hishoteyeswereburningeverylittlebitofherwhenhesaid,“Yourmouthistheverybestpartofyou,Iz.”
Howdidhedothat?Howdidhemanagetosaythingsthatmadeherheartswellupinherchest??Shetrieddiffusingthemomentwith,“I’dsaysame,Blake,butthoseabdominals–”
“Izzy.”
Shestoppedrambling.“Yeah?”
“Nojokes.”Hiseyeswerejustabovehers,theplanesofhisfacethecenterofherexistenceashesaid,“I’mtryingtotellyouthatI–”
Ahugecrashcuthimoff,thesoundofceramicsshatteringfromtheothersideofthedoorway,makingboththeirheadsturninthatdirection.
“Whatwasthat?”sheasked,suddenlyhyper-awareofhershirtlessness.
“Fuckingcats,”hegrowled,puttinghisbighandsonherupperarmsandmovingherjustalittle.Hiseyeswereallsexashemovedhisfacecloser,sohisnosetouchedhers,andhesaid,“Stayrighthereanddon’tmove.”
“I’lldowhatIwant,Phillips,”shesaid,ruiningherattemptatsassbyherinabilitytonotbeamupattheman.
Hismouthtwitchedandhesaid,“IfyourshirtisbackonwhenIreturn,there’sgoingtobehelltopay.”
Shethoughtshesawaquickflashofsomethinginhiseyes,hisface.Itwasn’twhathesaid,justhowhesaidit.
Buthewasshirtlessandshewaspowerless,soshequicklyletitgo.
“Notscared,”shesaidashewalkedoutoftheroom,andthenshelaughedwhenheheldupahandandflippedheroffwithoutlookingback.
No,shewasn’tscared,shethoughtasshewatchedhimgointothekitchen.
Shewasterrified.
Blake
“Whoa–watchtheclaws,”Blakemutteredunderhisbreathashesweptupthebrokenremainsofaglassbowl.Hewasholdingbothofthelittleshitswithonearmsotheydidn’tsteponanyoftheshards,andthebroomwithhisotherasheattemptedtosweepuptheirmess.
Hisreflectionintheadjacentwindowmockedhim.
Dresspants,noshirt,twocats–?fuckingcool,bro.
Andtalkaboutyourshittytiming;he’dfinallyhadIzzysmilingagain.He’dbeentemptedtojustignorethecrashandhopeforthebest,butthenherememberedGoodyear’scircle-walkingandhecouldn’triskthecatsgettingcut.
Fuckingcats.
Justashefinishedsweepingtheglass,hisphonebuzzedinhispocketandheknew–beyondareasonabledoubt–thathewasnotgoingtocheckit.AnemailfromtheofficewoulddestroyhisresolvetoignoreworkuntilMondayandhopethatthepowersthatbewereonhisside.
Butthedamnthingbuzzedagain.
Andagain.Andyetagain.
“Fuck,”hegrowled,settingdowntheboysbeforeproppingthebroomagainstthepantryandpullingoutthephone.
But–itwasn’tanemail.Itwasatext.?Multipletexts.
FromIzzy.
Izzy:I’mtakingapoll.Areyoubetweentheagesof20and40?
Whatthefuckwasshedoing?
Heresponded:?Yep.?YouknowI’m20feetawayfromyou,right?
Izzy:Shh.IsyournameBlakePhillips?
Hetexted:?Yep.
Izzy:Okaysorandompollquestion–areyoustillnervous?
Blakeglancedtowardthebedroombutcouldn’tseemorethanthedoorway.
Izzywassounpredictable–heneverknewwhatshewasgoingtodoorsaynext–andforsomereason,itmadehimfuckingout-of-hismindoverher.Hewasobsessedwiththerandomnessofherbrain.
Heansweredhonestly:?No.
Izzy:Oh.
Asecondpassed.?Izzy:Yeah,me,either.
Blakewasn’tlettingheroffthehook.Hetexted:?Whyareyounervous?
Izzy:SoI’mnotnervousexactly,Idon’tknow…?
BlakereacheddownandscratchedbetweenGoodyear’searsandreplied:?It’sME.LastweekyouFaceTimedtoprovetomeyoucandotheNapoleonDynamitedance.Ifyoucandothatoncamera,youcannotbeshy.
Izzy:No.NO!Ithinkit’sjustusafteradate.It’snew.NotatalllikeUSinournormalhabitatary.
Hestood.?Igetit.So…btw.Still20feetaway.Icanalmosthearyoutyping.
Izzy:Ignoringthat.Soifwe’regoingtocontinue,ehrm,amorousactivitieswhenyoucomeback,perhapsweshouldtextalittle,toremindusofourIz/Blakefriendshiproots.
Hewassmilingagain,likeadamnfool.?Herespondedwith:YouwantmetotextyoubeforeIsexyou?
Izzy:Maybe.
Blake:Okay.SoHEY,DIPSHIT,youdidn’tputyourshirtbackon,didyou?
Izzy:THISisrevisitingourIz/Blakefriendshiproots?
Herespondedwith:?Shirt??I’mwaiting…
Izzy:Iactuallyjustburiedmyselfunderyourcoverssansbra.
Blakefeltthebloodrushfromhishead.?Toclarify–youarehalf-nakedinmybed?
Izzy:Negative.I’mallnakednow.Justmeandacomforter.
Blake:AndI’m20ftawayholyshit.
Blaketriedtofocusonhisphoneandnottheimagesshewasputtinginhishead.
Izzy:Andyou’rejustnowtellingme????
Itwasgettinghotintheapartmentagain.?Hetexted:MayIaskyouaquestion?
Izzy:I’llallowit.
Blake:Howwouldyoulikemetoproceed?
Izzy:Confession–thethoughtofyouandItogetherinthisbedmakesithardtobreathe.
Somethingaboutherconfessionmadehishearttwistinhischest,maybethefactthathefeltthesameway.Hetexted:?Confession–thethoughtofyouandItogetherinmybedmakesithardtobreathe.
Izzy:Really?
Blake:Sohard.
Hewalkedtothebedroom,stoppinginthedoorway.Izzywaslyingonherstomachinhisbed,coveredbyhiscomforter.Hershouldersandupperbackwerevisible,bareexceptforthethinblackstrapacrossherback,andshewaslookingdownatherphone.
Holyhell,hewantedthatsomuch.Notjusttheobvious,butthemundane.HewantedIzzyinhisbed,scrollingonherphonelikeitwasanordinaryoccurrence,allthetime.
Hetexted:?Iam5ftaway.
Heheardherinhalesharplybeforesheresponded.?Areyouinthedoorway?
Blake:?Yes.??Idareyoutoremovethatbra.
Sheclearedherthroatandtexted:?Icannotpassupadare,canI?
Blake:Isureasfuckhopenot.
Hisskinfelthotashewatchedherslimfingersreacharoundherback,unhookherbra,thenflingitofftheedgeofthebed.Sheraisedherselfup,ontoherelbows,andtexted:?Howfarawayareyounow?
Hiseyeswerestucktoherbareback,toherpale,nakedskinthatsetfiretoeveryoneofhisfantasies.
TherealityofIzzywasathousandtimesbetter.
Hetexted:?I’mreadytopounce.IsitweirdthatIwanttolickeverybumpofyourspine?
Izzy:NotasweirdashowbadlyIwanttoburymyfaceinyourpillowandletyou.
Blake:MyphoneandIareabouttodie.
Izzy:Pleaselosethepantsbeforeyoudo.
Blakehadneverunbuckledandunbuttonedfasterinhislife.Theroomwassoquietthattheclickofhisbeltbucklehittingthefloorconfirmedhe’ddoneasshe’dasked.Sherespondedwith:?Goodboy.
“That’sit,”Blakesaid,droppinghisphoneandchargingovertothebed.“I’mcomingin.”
Izzy
Shescreamed–acacklinglaughofascream–whenBlake’sbighandwrappedaroundherankle.??Hedoveunderthecoversandcrawledupherbody–well,upthebackofherbody–butthelaughingstoppedwhenshefelthishandsonherhips,hismouthonthesmallofherback.
Sheshiveredandletoutasighthatmight’vebeenamoanashislipsandtonguemovedupherspine,hisbigbodypoisedaboveherswiththespaceofabreathbetweenthem.?Whenhismouthhitthebackofherneck,heraspedhernameinawaythatmadehertoescurl.
Shecouldfeeltherumbleofhisvoiceonherskin,andshewantedtoseehisface.?Needed?toseehisface.?Izzyturnedoverunderneaththebridgeofhisarms,andthesightofhimhoveringaboveher,withhishairtousled,hiseyesallheavy-liddedandhot,madeherrealizeitwasthefirsttimeshe’deverbeenknockedbreathlessjustfromlookingatsomeone.
“Hey,”shesaid,hervoicealmostawhisper.
“Hey.”Heswallowed.
“Listen,um,”shestarted,rubbingherlipstogetherandtryingtothinkofsomethingtokeepitchill,butthenhecutheroffbykissingher.Hislipscamedownonhers,somehowdifferent–yetagain–thaneveryothertimethey’dkissed.
BlakePhillipsapparentlyhadanentiredossierofkissesathisdisposalanddispensedthemwiththeutmostcare.?Sofarshe’dhadsweet,sexy,andhot,butthisonewasdirty.?Filthy.She’sthoughttheBillboardAssholeskisswasasexkiss,butno.
This?wasasexkiss.
Hismouthwasjustashotandhungry,butithadthepatiencethatwentalongwithhavingallnight.Itfeltlikeforeplayandtantricmarathonsex,allatonce,andIzzystoppedthinkingandheldonfordearlife.?Shebroughtherarmsupandaroundhim,lettingherfingersflexintothemusclesofhisback,needingtobringhimcloser.
Hemadeaprimalnoisedeepinhischest–agrowloragroanoragrunt–astheirbodiespressedtogether.Shecouldfeeleveryinchofhim–chest,stomach,?thighs–andshebitdownonhisbottomlip,instantlyimpatientforeverythinghisbodyhadtoofferher.
Thatwasapparentlythegreenlighthe’dneeded,becauseitwas?on.Hisgreedymouthmovedlower,lickingdownthecolumnofherthroatinawaythathadherpressingandstrainingtofeelmore.?Herarmsfelltothebedwhenhismouthmovedsouth,worshipfulwiththekindofenthusiasmthatmadeherfeellikeherchestwaseverythinghe’deverfantasizedabout.
Hemadeanoiseanddeliveredanipthatmadehersqueal,asquealthatturnedintoapornographicmoanashismouthcontinuedtheonslaughtthatwasmakingherwild.?Howishesogoodatthat??Heonlygotbetterashemoveddownherbody,kissingeverybitofherandmakingherwrithe,tremble,gaspandscream.
Itwasn’tjustthathewasskilledatthetaskshewasperformingorthewayshewasfairlycertainshehadanextraordinaryhickeyonherhipbone.?No,itwasthateverythinghedid,everymovehemade,shimmeredthroughherentirebodylikewavesinapool.
Hisfingersslidingoverherskin–shefeltthemwherehetouched,butshealsofelttheminthedepthsofherchest,theracingofherheart,andtheheatofhercheeks.
Whenhekissedherbelly,shefelttheheatofhismouthonherflesh,andalsointhepitofherstomach.
Andwhenhecamebacktoherandlookeddownatherface,hisfacewassofullof…somethingmeaningful,somethingimportant,thatshefeltitinthebacksofhereyes.
Blakeswallowed,openedhismouthlikehewantedtosaysomething,andsherealizedthatshewaswaitingforaprofessionoflove.Hisflarednostrilsandflushedcheeksmadehimlooklikeamanreadytospitsonnets,andshefeltlikeshecouldn’tbearthedisappointmentofwhathe?wasn’t?goingtosay.
Soshegrabbedhisfaceandbroughtittohers–hard–andtriedshowinghimhowshefeltbykissingtheeverlovingshitoutofhim,swallowingdownthestupidtearsthatforsomereasonwerereallyclosetothesurface.
Hesuckedinabreathandwentevenharder,kissingherlikeastorm,surroundingherwithpassionthatwasinescapableandwild,whereshelterwasnowheretobefound.
Shewasn’tsureshewasgoingtomakeit.
Izzyletgoofhisjaw,slidherhandsdownthefrontofhisbody,andtouchedhim.?Finally.?Hehissedhernameandfroze,tensionhardeningeverymuscleinthatbigbody.Hegroundoutthewords,“Holy.Hell.Yes.Iz.Fuck.”
“Comeon,Phillips,”shesaidagainsthismouth,overcomewithneed.
“Soimpatient,”hereplied,liftinghisheadtogiveherasmirk.
Sheraisedherhipsandslidherbodyagainsthisinresponse.
Apparently,thatwasallittook.?Hishandsleftherlongenoughtoopenadrawerandripintoawrapper,andinamatterofseconds,hewasslidinginsideherbody.Shesqueezedhereyesshutandfeltallofhim,soincrediblygoodandrightandfullandhotand?gawwwwwwwd.
Butthenhesaidhername.
“Iz.”
Sheopenedhereyesandhewaswatchingher,lookinglikeeverywickedfantasyshe’deverhadabouthim.
Sheswallowed.“Hi.”
Thatmadehimsmile,thesweetest,mostaffectionatelittlegrin,andhesaid,“Ifuckingloveyou.”
Herchestburned,herearsbuzzed,andshewantedtofreezethatmomentforever.
ButthenBlakestartedmoving,dominatingherbodywiththatsexpertiseofhis,andshelosttheabilitytothink.?Shewrappedherarmsaroundhimandheldontightashemadeherburn.Shemight’veblackedoutatonepoint,andshedefinitelyforgothowtoformwordsforasolidtensecondsasheshowcasedjusthowgoodhewasatpushinghertomorethanshe’dknownwaspossible,butsheneverwantedittoend.
Nothinginherlifehadeverfeltquitethatexquisite.
Well,untilfifteenminuteslater,whenBlakewrappedhisbigbodyaroundhers,pulledtheheavycomforteroverthem,kissedthetopofherhead,andturnedoutthelight.
Shefeltlikeshewashome.
Andjustlikethat,theworriesthathadplaguedherdisappeared.Itwastoolatetoturnback,soshewasjustgoingtolistentoBlake.
Don’tbescared,Iz.Justtakeadeepbreathandletyourselffall.
Really,whatelsecouldshedo,nowthatshewasalreadyinlovewithhim?
Blake
BlakesatdownonakitchenstoolandopenedOutlook.
Theclockonthemicrowavesaid2:15,buthewasstillwideawakebecausehewashauntedbythepossibilitythatthiscouldallcomecrashingtoanend.?Izzy,ontheotherhand,wastotallyoutwhenhelefther,lookingadorablewithherfaceburiedinhispillowandhisshirtonherback.
Thesightofherthere,soundasleepunderhisblanket,madehimwantsomanyfuckingthings.
Buthecouldn’thavethem.?Notyet.
Only…whatifhecould?Hehadtoreadtheemail.
Hetookadeepbreathandopenedtheemailattachment,readytoacceptwhateverhefound.Chapter15
Blake
Blakepacedaroundthekitchenashetexted:?Iknowit’stheweekend,butisthereanywaywecanmeetuptomorrow?It’simportant.Youroffice,Starbucks,yourhouse–wherever.
HeknewBradwouldn’trespondinthemiddleofthenight,butthatmanhadbotheredBlakeafter-hourssomanytimesthathedidn’tevenfeelbadfor–
Hisphonebuzzed.Holyshit–thatwasfast.Blakeopenedthemessage.
Brad:Can’t–atthelakehousewiththefam.Iseverythingokay?
Dammit.Blakesighedandresponded:?It’sfine,IjustneedtotalktoyouASAP.
Brad:EarlymeetingonMonday?Icanmeetyouatthe15thSt.Starbucksatsix.
Blakewasusuallythesecondpersonintheofficeeveryday;Bradwasalwaysthefirst.Six-thirtywashisnormalstarttime,whichwasprobablywhythemanwasonhisthirdwifeandhadchronichighbloodpressure.Hereplied:?Sixo’clockitis,butlettherecordshowthatItextedyoutheminuteafterIopenedtheupdatedorgchart.
Brad:Noted.
Blakeswipedoutofhismessagesandpluggedthephoneintothekitchencharger.Hittingthelights,heexitedthekitchenastheroomplungedintosemi-darkness.Thecitylightsoutsideofthewindowprovidedalittleillumination,whichusuallymadehimfeellessalonewhenhecouldn’tsleep.
Buttonightthelightsdidn’tmatter.
BecauseIzzywaswrappedinhisblanket,hisshirtonherbodyandhissocksonherfeet.Hefelt…whole.Thatseemedfartoodramatic,fuckingromantic,even,butwheneverhewaswithher,hewantednothingelse.Hethoughtofnothingelse.Everythingelseceasedtoexist.WhenhewaswithIzzy,hewaswitheverything.
Hewalkedthroughthelivingroom,andeventhatlookeddifferentwithherthere.Herbagonthecouch,hershoesonthefloor,hershirtlyingonthearearugasifshe’dundressedonthewaytobed.
Itwasstrange,hethought,becausehereallylikedtidiness.Forsomereason,though,seeingherthingsfeltright.Hisapartmentsomehowfeltmorelikehome.
Shit,shewasmakinghimweakashell.
Whenhewalkedintothebedroom,though,thosefeelingswereamplified.Becausethere,onhisnightstandwhereheusuallysethisglasseswhenhewenttobed,wereherglasses.Itfeltpolarizing,staringathertortoiseshellframeswiththesmudgedlenses,andhehadtheoverwhelmingurgetodosomethingtokeepthemthereindefinitely.
Yeah,hewasclearlylosingit.
Hewentaroundthebedandclimbedinbesideher,doinghisbestnottowakeher.Shewasout–deadtotheworld–soundasleepwithherhandstuckedunderhercheekonhispillow.Hewantedtolookather,towatchhersleep,buthewasprettysurethatwasanotherlevelofcreepythatheneededtosteerclearof.?Soherolledover,settledontotheotherpillow,pulledtheblanketup,andclosedhiseyes.
Eventhoughhehadlessspacewithherinhisbed,itsomehowfeltbiggerandwarmerwithherthere,likeabedheneverwantedtoleave.
“Everythingokay?”heheardherask,hervoiceslurredandalittlegravellywithsleep.
“Fine,”hereplied,hiseyesstillclosed.
“Youtookawaymywarmthwhenyouleft,”shesaid,scootingcloseruntilshewascurledintohisback.Hefeltherbreathonthebackofhisneckandherkneesnakingbetweenhisasshemurmured,“Mmm,better.”
Hefelteverymuscleinhisbodyrelaxlikehe’dbeengiventhesweetestsleepingpill,andhetookadeepbreathofIzzyair.Holyshit,shewasright–thatwaswaybetter.
Izzy
Izzycouldn’tbelievethatBlakewasstillasleep.
Itwasnineo’clock,shewasdressedandreadyforarun,whileBlakelayfacedownonthebedasifcomatose.Shewould’veimaginedhimasoneofthosedoing-burpees-at-five-amdudes,butapparentlyhelikedsleepingin.
Forsomereason,thatcontradictionwasadorable.Shewantedtojumponhisbackandbounceupanddown,justtoirritatehimawakeandseehissleepyscowl.
Instead,shefedthecats,lefthimanote,andquietlylefttheapartment.Shestillhadhiscodefromwhenshe’dcat-sat,soshedidn’tbotherwithakey.?Itwasn’tuntilhersecondmilethatshefinallyheardfromhim.HisnotificationsilencedthePostMalonethatwasblaringthroughherAirPodsandhetexted:?Wheredidyougo?
Shestoppedandreplied:?I’munderthebed.
Blake:Youdon’tseriouslythinkI’mgoingtolook,doyou?
Izzy:Inmyhead,youdid.
Blake:Butyourheadisascaryplace.WasIwearingcoveralls,littleperv?
Izzysnortedandmovedoffofthesidewalkandontoabench.Texted:?Firstofall,it’sLILPERV.Second,nocoverallsthistime.Thistimeyou’reonlywearingthatprettychestandavery-precarioussheet.
Blake:Whatmakesitsoprecarious?
ShegrinnedandpicturednakedBlake,soundasleepinhisbigbed.?Texted:Thewayit’sSOOOclosetoslidingoff?andexposingyourjunk.
Blake:HaveIevertoldyouthatyouhaveawaywithwords?
Izzy:Don’thaveto–Iknowit.
Blake:SoAGAIN–wheredidyougo?
Izzy:I’mrunning.Well,IWASrunninguntilyoutexted.NowI’msittingonabenchoutsideofabarbershop.
Blake:Inyourskirt?
Izzy:TheclothesIleftatyourplaceaftercatsitting.
Blake:Howmuchlongerwillyouberunning?
Shetexted:?Twomoremiles.ButthetimevariesGREATLY.
Blake:Greatly??
Izzy:Well,itdependsonifI’mfeelinglazy,orifIseeadog,orifIgotrailedlastnightandamsleepy–thatsortofthing.
Blake:Didyougetrailed?
Izzy:Isn’titweirdhowmanywordsthereareforsexthatdon’treallysoundlikeagoodtimewashadbyall?Pounded,drilled,nailed.Imean,itsoundslikeyou’rebuildingahouse.
Blake:Correction–didyoubuildahouselastnight?
Shegrinnedandnoticedthatthemansittingatthebusstopwaslookingatherlikeshewasoutofhermind.Shetexted:?Ohmigawwwwwd,Chest,youwouldn’tBELIEVEthenightIhad.
Blake:Good?
Izzy:Iwouldn’twanthimtoknowandgetabighead,butthismanwasunbelievablygood.
Blake:Heknows.
Izzy:Oh,hedoesnot.
Blake:Trustme.Youmakethisnoisethatsoundsalittlebitlikeasexyguineapigandyougetsuper-bitey;itdefinitelyletsamanknowhowhe’sdoing.
Izzy:SoyouknowitwasgoodformebecauseIbecamevermin-like.
Blake:YUP.
ShefiguredsheshouldbeoffendedbutwithBlake,sherarelywas.Shetexted:?Wellyoumakethisgrowlynoisethatrumblesinyourchestandyourfingersgetallgrippy,soIknowyoulikeditbecauseYOUbecameacat.
Blake:YoualsoknowIlikeditbecauseIcamesohardInearlyblackedout.
“Ohmigawwwwd,”shesquealed,gapingatherphone,andthebusstopdudeclutchedhisgrocerybaglikeheknewshewascomingforit.Sherespondedwith:?IhavetogorunbeforeBusStopMancallsthecops.
Blake:Why?Whatareyoudoing?
Izzy:It’sthispervertedlittlecackle,likeI’mturnedonandalsoveryamused.Iimagineit’smildlyunsettlingtoastranger.
Blake:Doyouwantcompanyonyourrun,Weirdo?
Izzy:Wellyes,butIfeellikeyoumightbeslowerthanmeandholdmeback.
Blake:Ipromisetotrymyhardest.
Izzy:I’msittinginfrontofAllianceBarberShop.You’vegot20mins.
Blake:I’mstillinbed–howamIgonnaruntwomilesandbethereintwentyminutes?
Izzy:Sprint,dumbass.Ordrive.
Blake:Drive,shesays.
Izzy:Yes!Drivehere,werun,andthenwedrivetobreakfastafter.
Blake:IwasgoingtoMAKEyoubreakfast.
Shefeltallgooeyinside,likeshewasabouttojustmeltintoathickpuddleofhappyhoney.Shetexted:?Youwere?
Blake:HomemadepizzabecauseIknowyouhatebreakfastfood.
Izzy:OopsIjustmadetheguineapigsound.
Blake:Onmyway.
Izzy:YESSSSS.
Blake:Iseemtorecallyousayingthatalotlastnight.
Izzy:Iprettymuchchantedit.
Blake:Fuckingamazingnight,Shay.
Izzy:Thatreadslikeaverb.Also–agreed,Phillips.
Blake:I’mprettysureIsawGodthatlasttime.
Izzy:No,thatwasme,silly.
Blake:Mymistake,Goddess.
Izzy:#newnickname
Blake:#youwish
Izzy:#drivecarefully
Blake:#iwill??Chapter16
Blake
“Pleeeeease?”Izzysquealed,shakinghisarmwithbothherhandsasshegrinnedupathim.“Comeon;youknowyouwantto.”
Blakelookeddownatherupturnedfaceandwonderedifhewascapableoftellingherno.“Youjusttoldmethatyourlegscrampifyoudon’trunaslowmilecooldown.”
“But,”shesaid,blinkingfastasshetriedtoconvincehim.“IranslowerthanusualtodaysoI’msureit’llbefine.”
“Thatwasslow?”
“Sure,”sheshrugged,clearlylyingthroughherteeth.
Therunhadbeenentertaining,withIzzytrash-talkingtheentiretimeabouthowfastshewaswhilesimultaneouslytellinghimtoslowdown.Soshecouldbeathim.Shewascompetitiveandquick,childishandfunny,andhekindofneverwantedtorunaloneagain.
Buthe’dmadethemistakeofconvincinghertheyshouldruntotheOldMarket,whichwashisfavoriterouteonweekendmornings,butandnowhecouldn’tgethertomove.
Becauseitwasthefirstdayofthefallfestival.
Thebrickroadsofthedowntownareawereallshutdown,transformedintoacacophonyofautumnalofferingsthatwerepunctuatedbyhaybalesandscarecrows.Vendorslinedthestreetswiththeirgourds,pumpkins,facepaintingandpottedchrysanthemums,andsmallcrowdsofpeoplewerealreadystrollingtheareawithsteamingcupsofhotappleciderandfreshly-brewedcoffeein-hand.
“Look,”shesaid,pointingtoafoodstandontheothersideoftheroad.“Ifyoudothis,Chesty,Iwillbuyyouoneof‘Paula’sProtein-PackedBreakfastSandwiches.’Ibetthatsoundsyummytosomeonelikeyou,right?”
Shegrabbedhishand,lacingherfingersthroughhis,andbegged,“Comeon,Blake–festivalwithme.”
Somethingaboutthefeelofhersmallhand,slidingagainsthisandsqueezing,madehischesttight.Helookeddownatherfrecklednoseasshesquintedupathim,andhewonderedifshecouldseeeverythinghefeltforheronhisface.
Heswallowedandsaid,“Firstofall,festivalisn’taverb.”
“Debatable,”shesaidasshestartedwalking,pullinghimalongwithher.Awomanwithagoldenretrieverinapumpkincostumewalkedpast,andtwokidswithfootlongcorndogsranintheotherdirection.
ItseemedtoBlakethatcorndogsbeforenoonwasamistake.
“Secondofall,”hesaid,“IlovePaula’sPPBS’sandwillabsolutelytakeyouuponyouroffer.I’llevenbuyoneforyou.”
“Ugh,no,thankyou,”shesaid,wrinklinghernose.“I’mholdingoutforadonut.”
“Youcan’tgetadonut,”hesaid,cluelessastohowshecouldstandeatingsomuchgarbage.“Everythinghereiseitherseasonalororganic.”
“Saysyou,”shemuttered,leadinghimtowardabakerybooth.“WithGodasmywitness,Iwillfindadonut.”
Andshedid.Fiveminuteslater,shesprinteddowntheblocktothegasstationandemergedwithacold,hard,day-olddonutthatmadeherbeam.
“Doesn’tcount,”hesaid,shakinghishead.“Notafestivaldonut.”
“Really?”shesaid,takingahugebiteandsayingwithafullmouthandlaughingeyes,“BecauseIthinkitdoes.”
“Didyouactuallyeathalfofadonutinonebite?”heasked,genuinelyinaweofherassheattemptedtochewtheenormousmouthful.
Shejustnoddedandchewed.
Afterthatsheboughthimhissandwich,andhewaseatingthelastbitewhenIzzystoppedataboothfulloffreshflowers.Shewasstandingonhertiptoes,pointingtowardahugebouquetofsunflowers–damn,herlegsweregorgeous–whenthevendorpointedatBlakeandsaid,“It’syou!”
IzzylookedbackandforthbetweenthevendorandBlakewithraisedeyebrows,andhestoppedchewingandfelthisfacegetwarmasherealizedwhoshewas.Thewomanworkingtheflowerstandwasthewomanhe’dboughtflowersfromthedaybefore.
“Hello,”hesaid.
“Didsheliketheflowers?”sheaskedhim,thenturnedherattentiontoIzzyandrepeated,“Didyouliketheflowers?”
Izzy’smouthslidintoawidesmileandshenodded,lookinglikeshewantedtolaugh.“Ilovedthem–theyweregorgeous.”
“Ofcoursetheywere,”thewomansaid,speakingtoIzzyinaconspiratorialtone,asifBlakewasn’tthere.“Hewasarealpoo-pooaboutpickingthemout.Ishowedhimfourbouquetsbeforefinallyfindingonegoodenoughforthisguy.”
“Isthatright?”sheasked,givingBlakeahugegrinandhandingthewomanatendollarbill.
Herolledhiseyes.
Izzydidlaugh,then,grabbingtheflowers.“Heisapoo-pooabouthisflowers.”
Blakegrabbedherfreehandandyankedherawayfromthebooth,saying,“Comefestivalwithme,Shay.”
Thatmadehercackle,asoundthatmadehimburn.
Shegotacalfcramponthenextblock,whichwashowheendedupgivingherapiggybackride.Never,inhiswildestdreams,wouldhehaveimaginedthathaulingawomanwithanarmfulofflowersaroundonhisbackwhiledodgingfacepaintersandballoon-animalartistswouldgodownasoneofhisverybestdays.
Butitwould.Chapter17
Blake
“Howoldwereyou?”Blakeasked.
“Five,”shereplied,toeingoffhershoesintheentrywayasBlakeshutthedoorbehindthem.
“Seemslikeyoushould’vebeenoldenoughtoknowbetter,”hesaid,wonderingwhenthehellhe’dbecomethekindofguywholikedhearingchildhoodstories.Heusuallydidn’tgiveashitaboutpreschoolantics,butwithIzzy,hecouldlistenallday.?Youtoldme‘boutyourpast,thinkingyourfuturewasme?–thelyriccameathimoutofnowhere.
“MaybeScottywasalittleshit–didyoueverthinkofthat?”sheasked,hernosecrinkledasshepretendedtobepissed.“Didanyone?”
Hewatchedherpulltheponytailoutofherhair,thendiginalltenfingerstoshakeitout.Thoselittlemannerismsweresomehow?something?tohimallofasudden.Hewantedtolearneverysingleone.Hecrossedhisarmsandsaidsaid,“Butyousaidhecriedeverytimehesawyoucoming.”
“AreyougoingtotalkaboutScottytheShitallday,whoprobablydeservedmybites,orareyougoingtoshowmehowtoworkyourfancyshowerhead?IonlyusedthejettytubwhenIwatchedthecats.”
Hegrabbedherhand,linkedhisfingersthroughhersandpulledhertowardthemasterbathroom.
“Youknow,”shesaidasheflippedonthebathroomlight,“It’dprobablybebestfortheplanetifwejustshoweredatthesametime.”
“I?do?lovetheplanet,”hesaid,openingtheglassdoorandturningonthewater.
“Iknewit,”shesaid,leaningdowntopulloffhersocks.
“ButIthinkyoujustwanttoseemenaked.”
Shestraightenedandshookherhead.“That’samightybigegoyouhave,sir.”
“Ithinkyouwanttoseemymightybig–”
“Shhh.”Shecoveredhismouthwithherhand,giggling.“Don’tsayit.”
“Saywhat?”hesaidfrombehindherpalm,feigninginnocenceeventhoughtheywerebothrememberingthenightbefore.
Thethingsshe’dsaid.
Thethingshe’dsaid.
Sheleveledalookofwarningathimbeforedroppingherhand.
“What?”Hesquintedandsaid,“Youcan’tsayit?now?BecauseIseemtorecallthatprettymouthsayingsomefilthythingsinmybedroom.”
Hereyessparkledwithhumor,withchallengeasshesteppedoutofhershortsandpulledoffhist-shirt,thenstrippeddowntonothing.“I’dratherusemymouthforotherthings.Youcoming?”
Shewalkedaroundhimandsteppedintotheshower.?Hejuststoodthere,frozen,lookingatnakedIzzyassheturnedawayfromtheshowerstream,sothewaterwashittingherback,andsheleanedherheadallthewaybacktogetherhairwet.
Becauseshehatedgettingherfacewet.?Youtoldme‘boutyourpast,thinkingyourfuturewasme.
Hewasnakedinasecondandsteppingintotheshower,hishandsreachingforherwaisttopullherclose.Shegrabbedthebackofhishead,pullinghimdowntoherlevelandkissingthehelloutofhim.Thehungerofit,thewant,nearlybuckledhiskneesashesqueezedherwaistandtriedkeepingupwithher.
Hotwaterpouredoverthemaswarmthpulsedthroughhisveins.This…thishecoulddoforever.Hereachedaroundhertograbthebodywash,notbreakingcontactwithhermouthashesqueezedoutliquidsoapandstartedlatheringherback.?Hishandstraveledalloverherslickskin,back-to-front,head-to-toe.
Hewasajunkieforherresponses.Asighwasgreatatfirst,butthenheneededamoan.Whenhishandsmadehermoan,hisadrenalinespikedandhecouldbarelybreathefromtheburningneedtohearherscream.Andwhenhismouthdeliveredthatsound,hefinallyfeltlikehehadhisfix.
Untilshesliddownhisbody,herfingersscrapingdownhisthighs,andsheproceededtomakehimlosethecapacitytothinkatall.
Izzy
“Seriously?YoureallythinkPatrickMahomesistheguy?”
“Notonlycantheguypassandscramble,lookathowhejustcreatesthingsonthefield.Makesstuffhappen.Thisgoeswaybeyondhisquarterbackrating.Justlookwhathedidlastweek,”Blakesaid,crackingopenapeanutshell.“It’sano-brainer.”
“Lastweekislastweek,thisweekisthisweek,”shesaid,tuggingonthebottomoftheBeastieBoysT-shirtshe’dstolenfromBlake’sclosetandhadbeenwearingallday.Afterall,they’dfoughtforherrighttoparty,andshewantedtopaythemrespectforthat.Itwasgettingchillyandshewasgoingtoneedtoputonpantssoon,butthegamehadjuststartedandshewastoocomfytogoallthewaytothebedroom.
“Wow.”Blakegaveheralookandtossedanemptyshellinherdirection.“SOprofound.”
“Profundityismyforte.”
“Profundityisn’tevenaword.”
“Googling,dipshit.”IzzylaughedandopenedGoogle,intentonprovinghimwrong.Theywereeachsittingonoppositeendsofhercouch–becauseshe’dforcedhimtoscootoveraspunishmentforcallingherfantasyfootballteam?weaksauce?–butthenTheDarklinghadruinedeverythingbysettlingonhislapsohecouldn’tcomebacktoher.
Shelovedwhataclosetcatloverhewas.
“Boom–profundity,”shesaid,readingthedefinitionaloud,buthejustshookhisheadandtossedmorepeanutsinherdirection.
Aftertheshowerathisplace,he’dbroughtherhomesoshecouldfeedthecatand,well,gohome.Butinsteadofsayinggoodbye,she’dinvitedhimintowatchfootballandthey’dbeendoingthattheentireday.SundayNightFootballwasjustabouttostart,andIzzywasbummedthattheweekendwascomingtoanend.?It’dbeensoperfectitwasterrifying.
“Ineedasoda,”shesaid,gettingup.“Wantsomething?”
Hisdarkeyeswerealloverher,asmileonhislips,andshemuttered?pervert?beforerollinghereyesandgoingintothekitchen.Blakewalkedinwhenshewasclosingtherefrigerator,andthesightofhim,inhissocksinherkitchen,madeherhappy.?Incandescently?happy.
Soweird,right??ButVPBlakeinhisstockingedfeetwasaglorioussighttobehold.Sweats,messyhair–man,shewanteditall.
“YouwantaDr.Pepper?”sheasked.
“Actually,Ishouldprobablytakeoff.Tomorrowisgoingtobeastressfuldayatwork,soIshouldbeagoodboyandgetadecentnight’ssleep.Y’know,sincesomeonekeptmeupallnight.”
Shecouldn’tstopthedisappointment,eventhoughthey’dbothsaidovertheirlivingroompizzapicnicthattheyneededtostayattheirrespectiveapartmentswithworkhoveringinthemorning.
“Yeah–getout,”shesaid.“I’mdonewithyouanyway.”
“Nope.”Hewrappedhisarmsaroundherandsqueezed,tightly,liftingheroffthegroundasheadded,“We’reonlygettingstarted.”
Shetriedtobecool,butitwasimpossiblenottosmileatthatbecauseshejustfreakingadoredhim.Sheadoredhimandwantedeverything.
Soshelookedawayfromhisfacebeforehecouldseeheradorationandshechangedthesubject.
“Didyouknowthatwhenyousetmeonthetableyesterday,Ikindofthoughtyouwantedtosexmeup?Onthebutcherblockdinette?”
Hisgazemovedoverthespanofherface,likehewastryingtoseeifshewereseriousornot,andthenheliftedherhigherandcarriedherovertothetable.Herheartstartedracingashegaveherthatlook,ploppedheronthetable,pushedherkneesapartandsteppedcloser.
“Wereyouintoit,Iz?”Hisvoicegotquietquietandalittlegrowlyashedraggedhismouthalongherjawline,ashisbighandsslowlyslidtheoversizedt-shirtupherhips.Heraisedhisheadandasked,“Wereyoudownforsometableaction?”
“Yes,”shesighed,lookingstraightintohiseyes.“Iseemtobeintoeverythingwhenitcomestoyou.”
Somethinginhisfacechangedwhenshesaidthat.Allatoncehelookedsweetandserious,andheleanedcloserandrestedhisforeheadagainsthers.Heswallowedandsaid,“Iknowthefeeling.”
“It’sbizarre,right?”shewhispered,raisingahandtohisstubbledjaw.
Heclosedhiseyesforahalf-second,leaningintohertouch,andwhenheopenedthem,theywerebrightandhotandintense.“Bizarreandsoperfect,Iz,Ican’teven.”
Hismouthfoundhersashisbighandsmadequickworkofherclothes,andshetookcareofhispantsandthetaskofwranglinghiswalletfromhispocketwhileneverbreakingcontactwiththatpowerkiss.
Shebrieflythoughtfrontdoor,becauseanyonecouldcomeinatanytime,butthingsweresointensewithBlakethatshewaswillingtoriskit.
Inmeresecondshewasrightwheresheneededhim,sighingintohermouthashecrashedintoheronthekitchentable,andshefeltemotionalasshelockedeyeswithhim,somehowhomesickforhimatthatverymomenteventhoughthemomenthadn’tyetpassed.?Hemoved,rockingintoher,makingherwrapherlegsaroundhimtoholdhimcloser,squeezehimtighter,totryandlock-uphisbodythewayhe’dlocked-upherheart.
“Fuck,”hehissed,slidinghishandsunderneathherandchangingtheangletowhereitwasnolongerphysicallypossibleforhereyestostayopen.Orforhertothink.Hewassogood,sointunewitheverylittlethingthatshedidn’tevenknowshewanted,thatIzzyjustduginherheels–andhernails–andletherselffallintotheblissfulescape.
Blake
Izzy:Youawake?
Blakesmiledashelookedathermessage.Yes,hewaslyinginbed,inthedark,buthewasdefinitelystillawake.Hetexted:?Weliterallyhungupthephonefourminutesago.
Izzy:Wellyoufellasleepreallyfastlastnight,so…
Blake:No,thatwasyou,PrincessSnore.
Izzy:Idon’tsnore.
Blake:Nocomment.
Izzy:Idon’t!
Blakepicturedher,lyingonherstomach,soundasleepbesidehim.Hetexted:?IsabellaShay,I’mnotsayingyousnore,butifyoudid,hypothetically,itwouldbethemostadorablesleepysoundeverheard.Likeanadorablekitten.Withadeviatedseptum.
Izzy:?Flippingyouoff.
Blake:Grabbingyourfingeranddoingnastythingswithit.
Izzy:ABORTMISSION!THISISNOWAYTOGETSLEEPY!
Blakesatup,grinninglikeadipshit,andfluffedhispillow.Texted:?Isthatwhyyoutexted?Soyoucouldgetsleepy?
Izzy:No.Itextedyoutosaythatnomatterwhathappens,thisweekendwasperfect.
Whatthefuckwasthat?Didsheknow?Hetexted:?“Nomatterwhathappens??”Trustexercise,remember?
Izzy:Iknow,Iknow.
Blake:I’llbeabletosharesoon,Ipromise.
Izzy:LOLItrustyou.Ijustmeanthatregardlessofanyotherthingthathappensinmylife,intheworldorintheuniverse,thisweekendwillbepreservedinmyheartasperfection.
Well,shit.Blakefeltthatinthepitofhisstomach,inhisheart,inhiseverlovingmind,becauseitwasexactlyhowhefelt,too.
Iloveyou.?Hewantedtosayit.Hewantedtotellherahundredtimesthateventhoughitwastoosoon,hewasgone.Headoverheels.Outofhismindforher.
Fuck,maybehe’dtellhertomorrow,afterhetalkedtoBradandfiguredthingsout.
Iloveyou,Iz.??It’swhathefeltinhisverycore,butinsteadhetexted:?Iloveyourprofundity,Iz.
Izzy:AndIlovehearingyouacknowledgethewordprofundity.Goodnight,Mr.Chest.
Helaidbackonhispillow,lookedoutatthecitylights,andtexted:?Goodnighttoyou,StarbucksAmy.?????Chapter18
Blake
Izzy:Twothings.Number1–Imissgasstationdonutsandco-edshowers.?Same,Blakethoughtashesteppedoutofhiscarandhitthelockbuttononhiskeyfob.Therewasachillintheearlymorningair,thesubtlefallwarningthatwinterwasonitsway,andhewasgladhewaswearingasuitjacket.
Izzy:Number2–Haveagreatday–weshouldpizzatonight.
BlakepaidtheparkingmeterandstartedwalkingtowardStarbucks,wonderingifitwouldbecelebratorypizza,orsomethingelseentirely.
“Areyoukiddingmerightnow?”Bradsatbackinhischair,lookingatBlakelikehe’dlosthisdamnmindasthesoundofsteamingmilksuddenlyseemeddeafening.It’dbeennicewhenBlakehadbeendiscussingIzzy–afoamylayerofprivacy–butnowitjustaddedtothetensioninhisneck.
Blakeclearedhisthroatandasked,“Whichpartareyoureferringtospecifically?”
“Allofit–?shit,Blake.”Theoldermangavehisheadashake.“Youmovedinfastashellafterthefirstdraft,didn’tyou?”
“Iknow,Iknow,”Blakesaid,rememberinghowheliterallyranwhenhethoughthewassafetodateIzzy.Hereachedupandtuggedathiscollar,whichsuddenlyfelttight.Hehatedsharinghispersonallifewithanyonefromwork,butsincehewasn’twillingtolieandhidetheirrelationship,itwastheonlyway.
HetoldBradeverything(wellnoteverything)aboutheandIzzy’srelationship.?ThegoodthingwasthatheconsideredBradafriend,eventhoughhewashisboss.HeknewhecouldcountonBrad’sdiscretion,regardlessofwhattheman’sbusinessdecisionwouldbeonthematter.
Bradsaid,“Younevertalkaboutyourpersonallife,soI’massumingthismustbeimportanttoyou.”
“Soimportant,”hesaid,alittlesurprisedbyjusthowstronglyhemeantthat.“Honeslty,Brad,Iwishitwasn’t,butitis.”
Bradcrossedhisarmsoverhischest.“Well,then,Ihavegoodnewsandbadnews.”
Blakeclenchedhisteeth–gnashedthemtogether,really–beforesaying,“What’sthebadnews?”
Brad’seyesnarrowedashelookedatBlakeandsaid,“Thesameasthegoodnews.Asyouknow,we’reeliminatingsomeduplicatepositions,post-acquisition.”
“Yes.”Blakeneverlikedlettinganyonego,buttherealitywasthatwhenEllisacquiredothercompanies,theyusuallyendedupwithredundancieswithinrolesatalllevelsandcertainuncomfortabledecisionshadtobemade.
“Asyouknow,mostofthesupportfunctionsforDanovichcanbemanagedfromhere,insteadofBoston,somostofthecutswillaffectthatlocation.”Bradpickeduphiscoffeeandsaid,“However,therearesomesupportrolesthatwecansplitbetweenourlocationsforefficiencyreasons.”
Blakeknewthisalready.“Brad,Iwastheonewho–”
“IsabellaShayisanewemployee,withfarlessexperiencethanthegeneralistsinBoston.BecausewealreadyhavemultiplelayersofHRsupporthere,unfortunately,sheisoneoftheroleswe’veidentifiedwithmultipleredundancies.”
Blakefeltlikehe’dhadthewindknockedoutofhim.?“Oh,shit.No.”
“YousignedoffontheplanwhenyouwereinBoston,Blake.”Bradworeapatientsmileashetookoffhisglassesandadjustedoneofthebows.“Butthespreadsheetonlyhademployeenumbers,notnames.”
Fuck,fuck,fuck.?“Holyshit,Ididn’tknow.”
“That’sright–youdidn’t.”Bradputhisglassesbackonandglancedathiswatch.“Thinkaboutthat.Youknew–andstillknow–thatit’stherightbusinessdecisionifyoutakeemotionsoutoftheequation.Thereisn’tasinglesolidreasonwhywewouldchangetheplan.”
Blakedraggedahandthroughhishair,frustratedbecause?shit–?Bradwasright.
“Don’ttakethisthewrongway,butmaybethisisagoodthing,sinceyoureallylikethiswoman.Nowyoudon’thavetoworryaboutyourprofessionallivesgettingintheway.”
Nothelping.?Blakeseriouslyfeltsicktohisstomachbecausehealreadyknewtherewasnothinghecoulddo.Ifhetriedtosaveherjob,itwouldbeseen–rightlyso–asaconflictofinterestandthebyproductofhisemotionalattachmenttoher.Bradmightbehisfriend,buthewouldn’toverlooktheobvious.
“Listen,Ihavetogo.”Bradpickeduphiscoffeeandstood,“I’msureIdon’tneedtoremindyouthatregardlessofyourrelationship,thisisconfidentialuntilHumanResourcesexecutestheplantomorrowmorning.WhendoyouplanoninformingPamaboutthecuts?”
“Iwasplanningondiscussingitfirstthingthismorning,”hesaid,ahugeknotinthepitofhisstomach.“Sheshouldbeinformingherteamabouttheacquisitionrightateight,soI’lltrytocatchheraftertheywrapup.”
Pam’steam…withIzzy.?Bradleft,andBlakejustsatatthetable,feelingnumb.
Whatwashegoingtodo?BlakewantedtoslaythedragonsinIzzy’slife,notbecomeone.Buthewastheonewho’dstaredatthespreadsheetforhoursbeforemakingthedecisions.?Hewastheonewho’dbedirectingPamonhowtheseparationsandseverancepackageswouldbehandled.?Elliswasgenerouswithseverance,andhewasproudofthekind,helpfulwayhisHRteamprovidedassistancetodepartingemployees.Hehatedlayoffs,butthewaythecompanytookcareofpeoplehadalwaysmadehimfeelbetter.
Butonlymarginally.?Thewayitworked–thewayit’dalwaysworked–wasthateveryoneintheknowkeptitentirelyconfidentialuntilconversationswithhoseaffectedbegan.Thatwaynoonecouldbetipped-offinadvanceanddosomethingoutofcharacterthey’dregretlater;he’dseenitall.Heknewfirsthandthatthekeytoseparationsrunningsmoothlywaskeepingeverythingquietuntilthemeetingsbegan.Confidentiality,respectandgenuineempathywererequired.Afterall,theywereaffectingthelivelihoodsofpeoplelikeIzzy,who’ddonenothingwrongbutworkforthecompanyduringanacquisition.
Undernormalcircumstances,thiswouldbegut-wrenching.?Buthowthehellwashesupposedto?not?tellIzzy??He’dalwayslookedattheintegrityofhisrolethoughasimplelens.Itwasn’tuncommonforhimtohavetogivedepositionsandrepresentthecompanyunderoath;mergersandacquisitions,stateandfederalfilings,managingcompensation,thebenefitplans,the401(k),leadingemployeeinvestigationsandterminations,workplaceinjuries–thosefellundertheumbrellaofBlake’sresponsibility.
Andhetookhisresponsibilitytothecompanyanditsemployeesseriously.?Sohe’dalwayspurportedhimselfasifeverydecisionhemadecouldbequestionedunderoath.?Becauseitcould.?Ifhewerealwayshonestandfollowedtherulesandregulations,he’dneverhaveanythingtohide.??Ithadalwaysseemedremarkablyblackandwhitetohim.Grayexistedalloverbusiness,butnotwithinthesespecificareas.Hecouldtestifyunderoaththathe’dneversharedconfidentialinformationwithanEllisemployeebecauseheneverhad.?ButhowcouldhekeepthisconfidentialwhenitwasIz?
Izzy
Izzywalkedintotheconferenceroomandgrabbedtheseatatthefarendofthebigtable.ShestillhadnoideawhyBlakehaddecideditwasokayforthemtobemorethanfriends,butshetrustedhim.HewasMr.Integrity,soheobviouslyknewsomethingorwasworkingonawaytomakeitallokay.
Theonlyproblemwasthatherbraindidn’tlikemysteries.Whenshe’dbeenwithBlakeallweekend,workhadseemedamillionmilesawayandshehadn’tcaredaboutthewhy.Darkeyesandadeepvoicehadbeenherentireuniverse,providingeverylittlethingshecouldeverneedandshuttingouttherestoftheworld.
SincewalkingintoEllisthatmorning,though,atinytwingeofuneasehadsettledintoherbelly.
Shetrustedhimimplicitly,butcouldn’twaittofindoutthehowoftheirrelationship.Thewhyisitokaynowwhenitwasn’tbefore.
Pamcameintotheconferenceroomwithastackoffiles,closedthedoorbehindher,andproceededtoexplainthatEllishadacquiredacompanyinBoston–DanovichHoldings.Izzylistened,fascinated,becauseherpreviousjobshadallbeenwithsmallcompanieswhodefinitelyweren’tacquiringotherbusinesses.
Izzyfeltaweirdlittlesparkofprideassherealizedthatmust’vebeenwhatBlakehadbeendoinginBoston.HewastheoneofthepeopleEllishadsenttoacquireamulti-milliondollarcorporation.Howcoolwasthat?
HerBlakewasaBoss.
Aftergivingahigh-leveloverviewofthecompanythey’dacquired,Pambegantodescribethesimilaritiesanddifferencesbetweentheirtwobenefitplans.Izzytookalotofnotes,asthiswasgoingtogiveherquitetheworkload,butshecouldn’twaittobegin.
IzzywentbacktoherofficeandopenedtheExcelspreadsheetofallthenewemployeesthatshe’dneedtoreachoutto.Shehada?lot?ofworktodoallofasudden,butshewasstillinlovewithhernewjobsoshedidn’tmind.?Shegotlostinthepaperworkandreports,forgettingeverythingbutwork.Pamwasinmeetingssomewhereelseinthebuilding,soitwaseasytojustfallintotheworkwithoutinterruptions.?Butwhenherstomachgrowledandshelookedattheclock,hermindwentrightbacktoBlake.BecauseitwasMonday–Caniglia’sFoodTruckday.
Shestretched,smiled,andtexted:I’monmywaytoCaniglia’sforspaghetti,FYI.
Therewasnoguaranteehe’dbethere,butaftertheirweekend,she’dbesurprisedifhedidn’tshow.Shegrabbedhercoatandbag,pulledonhergloves,andheadedfortheelevator.
Sixo’clock.?Izzystaredattheclock,stillstuffedfromtheBlake-freelunchshe’dhad.Hehadn’tbeenatCaniglia’s,whichwasn’tabigdeal,buthehadn’tsentherasingletextallday,either.Therewasnoreasontobeconcerned,yet–whyinthehellhadn’thetexted??Shegrabbedherphoneandsent:?Areyoustillatwork,Chest?
Herespondedalmostimmediately.?Blake:Yup
Izzydidn’tlikeone-wordanswerswithzeropunctuation;thatmadeherinexplicablynervous.
Sherepliedwith:?Wasthedayasstressfulasyouthoughtit’dbe?
Blake:Worse
Shereally,really,?really?neededanemojiorasuperfluousexclamationpointtoensureherthateverythingwasfine.
Shetexted:?I’llstopbuggingyousoyoucanleave.;)
Blake:Tks
Ugh.Shecouldn’tshakethefeelingthatsomethingwaswrong,thathewasdistancinghimselffromher.?Whichwasridiculous.Hehadbeentheonetoinitiatetheirmorethanfriends,sothatdidn’tmakeanysenseatall,right??ShescarfedapieceofleftoverpizzabeforegoingforarunwithJosh,whowasalwaysdowntoaccompanyherifitwasgettingtoodark.ButwhenshegotbackandtherewasstillnotextfromBlake,sheknewsomethingwasup.
Sheshoweredandtriedtostopcheckingherphone,buthisabsencegnawedather.Thecomboofhernotknowingwhyhesuddenlythoughttheycoulddateandhisdisappearingactaftertheyactuallydiddateleftherveryuncomfortable.?Shetextedagainbeforebed,alowkeynothingmessage:?TheDarklingvomitedonJosh’scouchandnowhe’sholdingmypillowsandblanketshostageuntilIcleanitup.
Itwastrue–?thatdick?–anditwassomethingthatwouldamuseBlake.?Butanhourlater,stillnomessage.
Andthatkindofpissedheroff.Andscaredher.Sheunderstoodastressfulday,andshealsounderstoodthathisobsessionwithethicsmightpreventhimfromcontinuingtheirrelationshipifhe’dbeenwrongabouthismysteriouswhatever,butwhyinthehellwouldheghosther?Hewasobviouslyhomefromworkbynowandcapableofusinghishugefingerstosmashoutapoliteresponse.
Afterputtinginafewhoursonthebenefitspaperwork,?Izzypluggedinherphone?andwenttobed.Asshelaidherheadonathrowpillowfromthesofaandcoveredherselfwithjustthesheet(becauseshedidn’twanttocleanthepuke,dammit),shefiguredthatifhedecidedtonut-upandtextherovernight,shedidn’tevenwanttoknow.?Onarandomsidenote,shereallywishedshecouldventabouthimtoherbestfriend,Blake.
Blake
“Whatthefuckareyoulookingat?”Blakeglaredatthecats,whowerehuddledtogetheronthecouchandstaringathimasifdisapprovingofhisbehavior.Well,okay,Goodyeartechnicallycouldn’tbestaring,butbothoftheirfaceswereturnedtowardhimliketheywerejudginghim.
Hewassittingathisdesk,sippingascotchneat-ashehadbeensincehe’darrivedhome–whiletryingtofigureoutwhattodonext.?Hecouldn’ttellIzzy.He?couldn’t.?Anditwasn’tlikehewaschoosinghisjoborcareeroverher.Itwasjusttheprincipleofthething.Butinternally,thestrugglewasreal.HisfeelingsforIzzytuggedhardonhisvalues.
Andatthemoment,hewasn’tsurewhichonewaswinning.?Ignoringheralldaywaskillinghimnearlyasmuchastheknowledgethatherjobwouldendtomorrow.BecauseheknewIzzy.Hefeltlikehewasalmostapartofher.Heknewwhatshewasprobablyfeelingatthemoment,withhimbeingdistant,anditwaskillinghimtodothattoher.
Buthecouldn’tingoodconsciencedothewholebanterthing,laughingwithherlikeeverythingwasfinewhileknowingwhatwasinstoreforher.
Hesighedandstaredintohisglass.Itwasalmostmidnight,andhewasstillclueless.Becauseifhecontinuedtoavoidheruntilaftershewasterminated,it’snotlikeshewouldn’tknowthathe’dknown.She?would?know,andoddsweregoodthatshe’dbeverypissedthathehadn’twarnedherorattheveryleastrespondedtohermessages.
Sowhatwashisplan?Waituntilheknewshe’dleftthebuildingwithherseveranceagreement,thentext?whaddup???Allheknewforcertainwasthathemissedhersofuckingmuch.It’donlybeen24hours,yethewasdyingtoseeherfaceandsmellherhairandlistentoherfuckingawesometakesontheworld.
Fuckit.?Izzywasmoreimportantthanhisjob,Godhelphim.?Blakepickeduphisphoneandsentheratext:?Ireallyneedtotalktoyoubeforeworktomorrowandit’simportant.Chapter19
Izzy
Thebuzzofherphonewokeherup,thoughshe’dbeeninthelightestofsleepssinceturningin.Shelookedoveratitinthedarkness,and–itwashim.
Shesatupandswipedthroughthelockscreen.?Blake:Ireallyneedtotalktoyoubeforeworktomorrowandit’simportant.
Wonderful.Izzyturnedoffthephoneandsetitbackonthenightstand,theknotinherstomachgettingtighter.Inherexperience,peopleneversaidIneedtotalktoyouwhentheywantedtodiscussgoodthings.Shehadnoideawhathadhappened,butshewasfairlycertaintheywereover.
Whyelsewouldhebehavethatway?
Theyweretextingbuddies–he’dmadefunofhermultipletimesforsayingthat–yethewasn’ttextingheranymore.
Sheblinkedfast,tryingtopushbackthesaddisappointmentthatsurelywasgoingtoknockheronherass.
She’drespondtohimbecauseshewasn’tajerk,butnottonightandprobablynotbeforeworkinthemorning.??Ifhecouldignoreherforhours,shecoulddothesame.
Andifshewasgettingdumped,it’dbeonhertimeline,dammit.
Onlywhenheralarmwentoffatsixa.m.,shesawthathehadsentthreemoretexts.
2am:?Pleasecallmefirstthinginthemorning.
4:15am:?I’malreadyup,soyoucancallwhenever.
5:30am:?It’simportant,Iz.
Duuuude.Shefeltthe?Iz?intheverycoreofherheart.He’dignoredheralldayyesterday,andnowhecasuallydroppedthatnickname??Screwhim.
Shesilencedherphoneanddumpeditintothebottomherpursewhenshewenttograbcleanunderwearoutofthelaundrybasket.Shedidn’treallyneedtohavethephonehandysinceBlakewastheonlypersonwhotextedher,right?Sheshoweredandgotreadyforwork,andprettymuchfeltmiserabletheentiretime.
Shewaspathetic.
ButwhenshegottoEllisandsteppedintotheelevator,sherealizedthatshewantedtotexthim.Tohearwhathehadtosayandgivehimachance.Blakehadalwaysbeenagoodperson–agoodfriend,soshesupposedhe’dearnedhertrustandpatience.?Therewasnoreasontoassumetheworst.
Eventhoughshefeltlikeitwasinevitable.?Sherifledthroughherbaguntilshefoundherphone.Shetriedtokeepthingslightbytexting:?What’sup,broseph?YougettiredofghostingmeandneedanIzzyfix??Shekeptherphoneinherhand,expectingaquickresponse.
Whatshehadn’texpected,though,wasforPamtobestandingoutsideofherofficewhenshegotofftheelevator,pacinglikeshewaswaitingforIzzy’sarrival.?“Hey,Pam.Didyouhaveagoodweekend?”
Pamfrownedbeforesaying,“Honestly,no.CanItalktoyouinyouroffice?”
Blake
Blakepulledhisphoneoutofhispocketasheexitedtheconferenceroom.
Izzy:What’sup,broseph?YougettiredofghostingmeandneedanIzzyfix?
Holyshit–she’dresponded.Hefelthispulsekickupasheclickedonhercontactinfoandhitthebuttontocallher.??Itwentdirectlytovoicemail.?Shit.
Heglancedathiswatch–9:30–andrealizedhewasprobablytoolate.Theplanwastospeakwithalltheaffectedemployeesfirstthinginthemorning.NotingthatIzzywasapartofthehumanresourcesteam,heassumedthatshewouldhavebeenthefirstonespokento.
BlakepushedthroughthedoortothestairwellandstarteddownthestairstowardIzzy’sfloor.Itwasastupidmove,goingtoheroffice,buthefeltlikehehadtoknowthatinstant.Hequicklydescendedfourflightsofstairsbeforestraighteninghistie,checkinghisphone,thencoollysteppingontotheHRfloor,tryinghisbesttolookcasualandprofessional.
“Blake,”saidatallguy–Johnsomething?-withanod,walkingdownthehallasifitwasentirelynormalforBlaketobepoppingoutofstairwells.
“Adam,”Blakemutteredinresponse.Heturnedthecornerand—
“Hey,Blake.”Pamstoppedwalking.“Iwasjustcomingtoseeyou.”
“Yeah?”Hesaid,lookingpastherinthedirectionofIzzy’soffice.
“Yes.Wefinishedalltwelveoftheseparations.”?Thatmadehisgutclench,whichwasstupidbecausehe’d?known?itwashappening.
Hetriedfordetachedwhenhesaid,“Everythinggookay?”
Shenodded.“TheDanovichemployeesdidn’tseemsurprisedpost-acquisition,forthemostpart,andIthinktheyappreciatedtheseverancepackageandsupportwe’llprovidetheminsecuringemployment.”
“Good,”hesaidrobotically,notevenrecognizingthathe’drespondedtoPam.
Hecouldn’tstopthinking,worrying,obsessingoverIzzy;itwasimpossibleforhimtothinkaboutanythingotherthanheratthemoment.
“Ifeltreallybadformynewgeneralist,though,”shesaid,pursingherlips.“Sheseemedshocked.”
HerubbedthebackofhisneckandwonderedifhehadanymoreTumsinhisdesk.
Hesaid,“It’snevereasy,isit?”
Heswallowed.
“Sowhatbringsyoudowntoourfloor?”sheasked.
“Uh.”Hetuggedathistieandseemedunabletocomeupwithaword.Anywordsatall.?Whatthefuckwaswrongwithhim?
Hesaid,“ImisplacedmyphoneandthoughtI’dcheckdownhere.”
Sheglanceddownathishand,wherehewasclearlyholdingthelatestiPhone.?Hesaid,“Ihavetogonow.”
Oncehewasintheelevator,hepulledouthisphoneandtexted:?Areyouokay??Hehadn’trealizedhowcertainhewasthatshewouldn’tresponduntilthevibrationofhisphonescaredtheshitoutofhim.
Izzy
Washekiddingwiththat?
Izzyshovedherphoneintothepocketofhercoat.
Nope.Shedefinitelywasn’tokay.
Becausegettingfiredwasterrible.Shefeltembarrassed,rejected,sad,andstressedaboutherfuture.Butwhatwasevenworse–devastating,honestly–wasthefactthatBlakehadknown.
Perhapsifshedidn’tworkinHR,shemight’vebeenabletodeludeherselfintothinkinghehadn’tbeenaware.Shemight’veassumedhewastooimportanttobeintheweedsofaworkforcereduction.
ButBlakewastheAVP.Hewastheoneinchargeofthingslikethis.Ifhehadn’tbeentheonetomakethedecision,he’dattheveryleastsignedoffonit.
Sowhenshe’dbeenburyingherfaceinhisneckatthefarmer’smarketandthinkingaboutforeverwithhim,he’dbeenfully-awarethatshewouldonlybeemployedforafewmoredays.
Shelookedoutthewindow,atthesteadyautumnrain,andthequestioncameoutofnowhere,nearlyknockingthewindoutofher.
Hadherterminationbeenthewhyandhowoftheirrelationship?HadBlakeknownshewasgettingfired,andthatknowledgemadehimokaywithmorethanfriends??
HadshebeenfiredSOtheycouldbemorethanfriends?
Sheshiftedtheboxonherlapasthebus’ssqueakybrakessquealedtoastopattheendofherblock.Hercheeksburnedasshestoodandwalkeddownthecenteraisle,hyperawarethateveryeyeonthatbusknewshe’djustbeenfired.
Andwhenshestoodonthecurbandwatchedthebuspullaway,itsomehowfeltlikeyetanotherrejection.
Izzypulledthehoodofherjacketalittletighterasshewalkedintherain.Everythingsucked,butshewasgoingtotryherbesttobepositive.
It’sagorgeousautumnmorning,shetoldherself,lettinghereyeswanderovertherain-dampenedyellowleavesthatwerecoveringthesidewalk.Youhaveyourhealth,shethoughtasshecataloguedthelackofphysicalpainexistinginherbody.
Youwillfindanoth—
“Oof!”
Shetrippedonaraisedsectionofsidewalk,fallingforwardandallthewaydowntoherhandsandknees,spillingherI-just-got-firedboxalloverthosewetleaves.
“Areyoufuckingkiddingme?”shewhined,thoughnoonewasevenaroundtohearher.
ItwasaTuesdaymorning.Everyoneelsewasatwork.
Blake
Afteranhour,shefinallyresponded.
Izzy:Fine.HBU?
Yeah,shewasn’tfine.Herespondedwith:?IjustsawPam.
Izzy:Hahasamesies
Hehatedthis.Hedidn’twantworktoruinwhattheyhad.Hedidn’twantthishangingbetweenthem.
Hetexted:?Soagain–areyouokay?
Izzy:I’mfine.Ellisisverygenerouswiththeirseverancepackages.
Hedidn’tknowwhattosaytothat.Hetexted:?CanIcallyou?
Insteadofanswering,hisphonestartedringing.Izzywascalling?him.?Heliftedthephonetohisear.“Hey.”
“SoIhavethreequestions,”shesaid,soundinguncharacteristicallyserious.“Idon’twanttobeahardass,especiallysinceyou’rekindofmyfavoriterightnow,butIneedanswers.”
Fuck,fuck,fuck.?“Right.Ofcourse.”
“Okay.”Sheclearedherthroatbeforesaying,“WhendidyoufindoutElliswasfiringme?”
“Youdidn’tgetfired,youwerepartofaworkforcereduct–”
“Blake.”Hervoicewastight.“When?”
Fuck,hedidn’twanttoanswerthat.Hesighedandsaid,“Yesterdaymorning.”
“Oh–wow.”Shedidabreathycough-laughthingthatwasdefinitelynotgood.“Morethantwenty-fourhours.”
“WellIwas–”
“Questiontwo,”sheinterrupted,soundinglikeherteethweregritted.“DidyouhaveanypartinthedecisionthatIshouldbeoneoftheeliminated?”
Hefeltevenmorequeasythanhe’dfeltbefore.“Yes.”
Heheardhershockedinhalationthroughthephone.Hesaid,“ButIdidn’tknowthat–”
“Nope.Blake.”Shetalkedrightoverhim,hervoicestiffandweird.“YouhavenoideahowmuchIrespectyourhonesty.I’msureyoumadetherightbusinessdecisionanddidn’tletyourpersonalfeelingsinterfere.”
Hedidn’tknowifshewasbeingsincereorsarcastic,sohesaidwhatwasinhisheart.“Pleaseletmebringyouapizza.”
“No.”Sheclearedherthroatagainandsaid,“Imean,no,thankyou.Ihavetogo.”
“Wait.”
“WHAT?”
Hedidn’tknow.Heonlyknewthatifshehungupthephone,thingswouldgetworse.“Whatwasyourthirdquestion?”
Shegrowled.“Onceitwasdecidedthatmypositionwasbeingeliminated,whichwasevidentlydonebynoneotherthanyou,isthatwhenyoutoldmethatwecouldbemorethanfriends?”
Hehadn’texpectedthat.Holyshit,didshereallythinkhewasthatbigofajerk?Shehadeveryrighttobepissedathim,buthefeltwoundedwhenhesaid,“AreyouaskingmeifIeliminatedyourjobsowecouldbetogether?”
Hervoicewasclippedwhenshesaid,“DearLord,Blake.You’reanintelligentman.Don’tmakemerepeatthequestion.”
“Izzy,ofcourseIdidn’t–”
“Forgetit,”sheinterrupted.“Doesn’tmatter?”
“Areweokay?”heasked,feelinglikeheneededtobracehisarmsonhiskneesandputhisheadbetweenhislegssohedidn’tpassout.
“Idon’tknow.Idon’treallythinkso.”
“Iz.”Forthethirdtimethatday,hehadnofuckingideawhattosay.“Pleasetellmewecanbeokay.”
“Ican’t.”Hervoicewasloudernow.“BecausenomatterhowIlookatthis,we’renotokay.Eitheryoufiredmetogetwhatyouwanted,oryouknewIwasgettingfiredbutdidn’ttellme.Ihatebothscenarios.”
“Itextedyou,”hesaid,hatinghowdesperatehesounded,howdesperatehefelt.
“Inthemiddleofthenight,”shesnapped,“Andallyousaidwastocallyou.That’snotawarning.”
“YouhavetobelievemethatIdidn’tknowyouwereonthelistuntilBradtoldmeyesterdaymorning.”
“Butyousaid–”
“IwaslookingatemployeenumbersanddatawhenImadethedecision–nonames,”hesaid,wonderingifthatwouldevenmattertoher.“Itwasn’tevenuntilItalkedtohimaboutusthatIrealizedyouwereaffected.”
“Wait.Youtoldhimaboutus?”
“Yes.”Fuck.Iwastotallyblowingit.“ImetwithhimMondayatsixa.m.todiscussit.”
“Ohmygod,Blake–whatifthat’swhy?”Shesoundedevenangrierasshesaid,“OrwereyoujustensuringthatIcouldn’tberemovedfromthelistonceBradknew?”
“Itwasn’tlikethat.”
“Ihavetogo.”
No.“CanIcomeover?”
“No.”
“Iz.Comeon,”hebegged,feelingdesperate.?“Please.”
“Ineedtothink,okay?Ihavetogo.”?Shedisconnectedthecall,andBlakestoodthereforthelongesttime,juststaringatthephoneinhishand.
Izzy
“ToIzzy,”Joshshouted,holdinguphisshotglass.
“ToIzzy,”hisfriendsrepeated,andtheyalltossedbackanothershot.?Whenshe’dcomehomeinthemiddleofthemorning,cryingandcarryingherwetboxofbelongings,hercousinhadgoneintofull-onsupportivebestiemode.He’dtakenhershoppingtotryandhelpherforgetaboutherjoblessness,andthenhe’dcalledallofhisnerdyfriendstomeetthemforday-drinking.
Onasidenote,shedidn’tknowhowJosh’sfriendswereabletojustditchworkforanimpromptuafternoonparty,butshewassuregladtheywere.?It’dbeenagooddistraction,butnotgoodenoughtomakeher?not?thinkaboutBlake.
Everytimeheenteredhermind,she’dgetthatadrenalineshottohersystem,theweirdchemicalmixturethatmadeherfeellove,hate,worryanddread,allatthesametime.?Butthethingofitwas,shewasn’tsurehowshereallyfelt.Hemight’vehandleditpoorly,buthe’dneverliedtoher.Hehadalwaysbeenhonesttoafault,soifhesaidhehadn’tknownhewaschoosingherforelimination,heprobablyhadn’t.?Shestilldidn’tknowwheretheystood,relationship-wise,but—
“Drink,drink,drink!”theyallchantedoverthenoiseofthebar,andshedid.ShetossedbacktheVegasBomb,happilyallowinghertipsinesstocatchabuzzthatshehopedwouldmorphintofull-scaledrunkenness.?Becauseit’dbeena?very?shittydaythatshe’dliketoforget.?Joshandhisfriendsforcedhertoplaydartswiththem,thenpool,anditwasn’tuntilshewasgoodandtipsy,onthewayhome,thattheconversationturned100%inherdirection.
ThewholegroupwaspiledintothebackoftheirDD’sminivanwhen?Josh’sfriend,Chuck,turnedaroundinhisseatandtoldherovertheheadrestthatshewastoogoodforBlake.
Who,overthecourseoftheafternoon,hadbeenrenamedTheDouche.?“Ilikeethicsasmuchasthenextguy,butyoucan’tkeepasecretlikethat.Notifyoureallycareabouttheotherperson.”Hestrokedhispencil-thinmustachedandsaid,“Youdeservebetter.”
Joshnoddedinagreementfromhisspotbesideherinthebackrow,hiswordsjustshortofslurrywhenhesaid,“Quickpointofclarification,Chuck.Youtoldatleastthirteenlieswhilewewereatthebar.You’vetoldtwosincewegotinthevanandwe’veonlymadeitfiveblocks.Youwouldn’tknowethicsifitbityouonyourbigrosyass.”
ThenheturnedtowardIzzyandsaid,“ButChuckisright.YoudeservesomuchbetterthanTheDouche.HecankissChuck’slyingbutt.”
Chuckadded,“Andheshould’veaskedyoubeforehetoldhisbossaboutyourrelationship.Totaldickmove,nottalkin’toyoufirst.”
Shenoddedandsaid,“Honestly,I’mdyingtoknow?whathesaid.Like,word-for-word,Iwanttoknow.”
“AskTheDouche,”Chucksaid,gesturingtoherphone.“Maketheassholetellyou.”
Izzygiggled.“ShouldI?”
“Yes!”theyallsaidinunison.?Shegnawedonherlipbeforeunlockingherphoneandtexting:?WhatexactlydidyoutellBradaboutus?
Hisresponsewasalmostimmediate.
Blake:ItoldhimthatIstarteddatingyouthesecondIsawapost-acquisitionorgchartdraftshowingHRwouldsoonbeginreportingtosomeoneelse.Obviouslythatchanged,butatthetimeIthoughtwewerefeeandclear.Man,Iz,myheartexploded.
Thatsoundedreallygoodtoher,eventhoughChuckandJoshweretalkingabouthowdoucheyofamovethatwas.
Blake:CanIpleasecallyou?
Shewasabouttotext“yes”whenJoshyelled,“NO!”
“Givemethat,”hesaid,snatchingherphonefromherfingers.“Nomatterwhatyourultimatedecisionis,youhavetobealoofinrightnow.Youcan’tletTheDouchethinkyou’llforgivehimthateasily.”
ShepicturedBlake’sfaceandfeltmelty.?Yeah–shewasdefinitelyreadytoconsiderbeingeasyonhim.?Still,shesaid,“Idon’twanttoruntheriskoflosingwhateverthisisthatwehave,assumingIwanttotakehimback.”
Shelookedaroundthevanandnoticedtheywerewaitingonhertodoorsaysomething.
Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,“AssumingIwanttotakeTheDoucheback.”
Cheersandclappingeruptedinthevan.
“Youwon’t,”Chucksaid.“Justlethimspendthenightthinking?he?mightlose?you.?Trustusonthis.”
ShelookedfromChucktoJoshanddecidedthatyes,shewouldtrustthem.Shesuckedatloveandrelationships,sotheyhadtoat?least?knowmorethanher,right?
“Fine,”shesaid,notingalightslurinherownvoice.“Keepmyphoneanddon’tletmehaveitback,evenifIbeg.”?“Donezo.”
Izzy
Sheregrettedthattheminuteshewokeupthenextmorning.Shereachedforherphone,onlytodiscoverit’dneverbeenreturned.?Awesome.?Shesatupandlookedoutthewindow,herheadpounding,andsureenough,hiscarwasgone.
Joshhadgonetoworkandleftherphoneless.
Aweekago,she’dhavejustgoneuptohisapartmentandretrievedit,butafterTheDarklingpukedonhisstuff,he’dstartedlockinghisdoor.?“Dammit,”shegroaned,herheadachingasshefloppedbackontoherpillow.?Shelaidthere,feelingdevastatedaboutBlake.Herfuzzybrainwashavingahardtimekeepingtrackofwhethershewasmadorsad,buttherewasnoquestionthattherewasamassiveachingemptinesswithouthim.
Aninstantlater,sherememberedshewasunemployed.
“Gawwwwwd.”Oneofthosethingswould’vebeentheworst,butthetwoofthemtogether?Thiswasnuclear-badonherheart.Sherolledoverontoherstomachandburiedherfaceinherpillow,butthatwasn’tcomfortingbecauseitmadeherthinkofthewayBlake’spillowhadsmelledlikeacombinationofhimandbleach.
Afterahalf-hourofcryinginbed,shedecidedtogetupandeat.Shewaswickedlyhungover,andtheonlycurewasgoingtobecoldpizza.Sheclimbedoutofbedandshuffledtowardthekitchen.?ShegrabbedasliceandaRedBullfromthefridge,andtookthemovertoherdesk.
Afterwakingthelaptopthatshealwaysforgottoturnoff,sheploppedontothechairandloggedinto–?ugh?–LinkedIn.??Becauseasmuchasshe’dliketospendthedayloafing,thetinybalanceinhersavingsaccountwaspushinghertostartjobhuntingimmediately.?Sheclickedonthesearchwindowandtypedhumanresou–beforenoticingthelittleinboxnotificationonthesideofthescreen.
25NewMessages.?Sheknewtheywereallspam,butclickedintothemessages,anyway.?Thefirstonewassentat8amthatmorning,fromsomeonenamedAshleyLeaatMOA.Izzywasfamiliarwiththehugeinsurancecompany,butnoonenamedAshley.??Hi,Isabella.WecurrentlyhaveanopeningforanHRGeneralist,andalittlebirdietoldmethatyoumightbelooking.Ifyou’reinterested,pleasecallme–I’dlovetochat.
Izzytookabiteofpizzaandreadthemessageagain.Itlookedlikealegitmessage,butthatwasjustalittletoogoodtobetrue,wasn’tit???Shemoveddowntothenextmessage,whichwasalsosentearlierthatmorning.?MynameisEmilyCarson,andI’mwithPrice-HarperCorporation.We’relookingforaSeniorHRGeneralist,andyournamewasmentionedwithaglowingrecommendation.Wouldyoubeinterestedindiscussing?
Izzydroppedthecoldsliceontothetableandleanedclosertothelaptopscreen.Whatintheactualhell??Shestartedclickingthroughtherestofthemessages,andtheywereALL?legitimate,I’m-not-dreamingemployers,reachingoutto?her?aboutjobs.Shecouldn’tbelieveit.Pammust’vemadesomecallsonherbehalf–itwastheonlyexplanation.Thewomanwasthe?sweetest?andfelthorriblewhenshe’dletIzzygo,sothat?had?tobeit.
Buttalkaboutgoingaboveandbeyond.Overhalfofthesejobswerebetteropportunitiesthantheoneshe’djustleft.?Izzygrabbedtheheavyoldrotaryphonethatsatonherdesk,athrowbackrelicthathergrandparentskeptconnectedtoalandlinebecause?youneverknew.?Aslongasshe’dlivedthere,Izzyhadneverusedtheoldphone.Notevenonce.
Now,however,?shewasgratefulashellforitsexistence.?Izzyliftedthephonetoherearanddialedthenumberfromthefirstmessageshe’dreceived.ItwasadirectlinetoAshley,theVPofHR,andwhenthewomananswered,shebehavedasifshe’dbeendyingforIzzytocall.
Shesaidshewas?thrilled?tohearfromherandwouldlovetochatin-person.??Twohourslater,Izzyhadsixinterviewsscheduled,sixverypromisinginterviews.Shecouldn’tbelievehergoodfortune;like,whatweretheodds??Howisthisevenhappening?
ShemadeamentalnotetoaskJoshifshecouldborrowhiscarforinterviewssinceBlakestillhadhers.?Butwhenshewasonthephonewiththeseventh,aLoriAnderjaskaatCitibankwhowasgoingtorearrangeherentirescheduleinordertofitIzzyin,itallstartedmakingsense.LorislippedandmentionedBlake’sname–?whenBlakecalled–?andIzzymadethewomanslowdownandtellhereverything.
Andthatwasthemomentsheknew.
Blake
BlakepulledupinfrontofIzzy’sbuilding.Heshutoffthecarandtexted:?Ihavepizza,McDonalds,flowers,asix-pack,agallonofchocolateicecream,abottleofwine,yourbetter-than-newrunningcar,andathousandapologies.Ifyou’llletmecomein,I’llgiveyouallofit.
Shehadn’trespondedtohimsincethenightbefore,whenheadmittedhe’dtoldBradaboutthem.Andhonestly–hecouldn’tblameherforbeingpissed.Heshould’veaskedherpermissionbeforegoingtothetopwiththeirrelationship,buthe’dbeensofuckingdesperatetosomehowhavebothIzzyandhisintegritythathe’dbeenimpulsive.
Andhewasneverimpulsive.?Although,tobefair,hefeltwildlydesperateandmaniacallyimpulsiveatthemomentashesattherein?acarfullofbribesandagnawinginhisgutthatworsenedeverytimehisbrainsaid?it’stoolate–you’vealreadylosther.
Losther.?Asifhe’deverhadher.
Buthehadthepromiseofwhattheycouldbe.
Itwasn’ttheideaofher,itwastherealityofthem.Theyhadn’tbeentogetherlong,butitwaslongenoughtoknowthatlosingherwasmorethanhecouldhandle.
WhenSkyehadliedtohim,resultingintheirbrokenengagement,he’dbeenpissedanddisappointedandfeltlikeanidiot.?Butsomehowtoday,thepossibilitythathemight’velostIzzyfeltfarmoredevastatingthanalostfiancé.
Hegotoutofthecar,grabbedthemountainofshitfromthepassengerseat,andwalkeduptothestoop.Itcouldn’thurttotrythebuzzer,right?Technicallyhehadthebuildingcode,buttherewasnowayhe’dbethatcreepwhojustlethimselfintosomeoneelse’sapartment.
Heshiftedthestackofstuffandhitthebuzzer,butafterthreetimes,gaveup.Heloweredhimselftothegroundandsat,knowingthatifhewentbacktoworkhe’djustthinkaboutIzzyandaccomplishnothing.Hemightaswellwaitforher.?Shecouldn’tbegoneforthatlong,right?Hestretchedhislegsoutinfrontofhimandsettledintowaitherout.
“Whatthehellhappenedtoyou,Mr.Phillips?”askedBob,thedoorman.
TheshortmanwiththesilverhairgrinnedandlookeddownatBlake’sloosenedtie,rolledupshirtsleeves,andsoakingwetdressshirt.?Definitelynothisusualstyle.?Blakejustshookhisheadandkeptwalking.
He’dsatonherstoopfortwohours,likeachump,hopingthatifhecouldjustseeher,justtalktoherface-to-face,hecouldconvinceher.?Butshenevercamehome.
Andhemight’vedeludedhimselfintothinkingmaybeshewasn’tgettinghismessages,butrightaboutthetimeit’dstartedraining,he’dseenconversationbubbles.??Finally–?holyshit?–shewastyping.?He’dstoodthereintherain,hisheartpoundingoutofhischestashestaredathisphoneandwaitedforherwords.
Onlythewords?nevercame.Thebubblesdisappearedandshedoubled-downon?herradiosilence,whichmadehimfinallydropallthatshitintothedumpsterandwalkhome.
Blakewascoldandfuckingsadashesteppedintotheelevatorandrodeuptohisfloor.Itwasbarelyfiveo’clock,butallhewantedtodowastakealong,hotshowerandfallintobed.Heuntuckedhiswetshirtandpulledoffhissoakedtie,throwingitoverhisshoulderasthedoorsopenedandhesteppedout.
Hewasonautopilotasheshuffleddownthehallway,lostinhisownhead.Amillionmilesawayinhisownpatheticthoughts.?Hewasso?gone?thatheverynearlysteppedonIzzy.
“Holy?shit,”?hemuttered,coming?thisclose?totrudgingrightoverher.?Whatthehell??Izzywassittinginfrontofhisapartmentwithherbackagainstthedoor,herlegsstretchedoutinfrontofher.Herheadwasleanedallthewaybackandhereyeswereclosed.?Shewasasleep.?Blakewasscareditwasamirageasheloweredtohishaunches.
Howwasshethere?Momentsbeforehe’dbeenfilledwithdisappointmentandexhaustion,butnowadrenaline?waspumpingthroughhisveinsandhewaswidefuckingawake.
Hyper-focused.
Onher.?Herbreathingwassoftandhervanillascentmadehimbreathedeep?ashelookedatherface.Hereachedoutahandandtracedthecurveofhercheekwithhisfingertipsashesaid,“Izzy.”
Hereyesflutteredopen,brightandbluewithbutterflywinglashes,andshelooked…introspective.Hereyeswereeverywhereonhisface–hisnose,hischin,hislips,hisforehead–??beforeshesaid,“Whyareyoudripping,andwherethehellhaveyoubeen?”??Chapter20
Izzy
Blake’sexpressionwasunreadable–dark–ashisbrowneyesseemedtobelookingforsomethinginherface.Hisgazestayedonherswhenhesaid,“Iwasatyourapartment.”
“Youwere?”Izzycouldn’tlookawayfromhisintenseeyecontact,whichwasexactlyatherlevelashecrouchedbesideher.“Why?”
Hisforeheadgotalittlecrinkle,justbetweenhiseyebrows.“Didn’tyougetmytexts?”
He’dbeensendingmessages??“Joshhashadmyphonesincelastnight.”
“Ah.”Hedidthatflex/unflexthingwithhisjaw,lookingterriblyserious.Hisvoicewaslowandalittlegruffwhenhesaid,“Ithoughtyouwereignoringme.”
“Whyareyouallwet?”sheasked,watchingadropofwaterrolldownthesideofhisface.
“Idroppedyourcaroffatyourplace,”hesaid.“Walkedhomewhenyouweren’tthere.”
“WhydidyoucontactallthoseHRpeopleonmybehalf,Blake?”Shehadn’tmeanttojustblurtitout,butthequestionwaseatingawayather.“Ithadtohavetakenyouhourstoconnectwiththatmanybusinesscontacts.Whyonearthwouldyoudothatforme?”
Helookedathermouth.Swallowed.“Don’tyouknow?”
“Guilt?”sheasked,feelingashivershimmyupherspine.
“Tryagain.”
Shedrewinashakybreathandwishedshehadn’toptedforthet-shirtdress,becauseherlegsweregettinggoosebumps.TheabilityofBlake’sfacetodeliverchillsmadethecomfy-cutegarmenttotallyweather-inappropriate.“Charity?”
“Iz.”Blakeleanedalittlecloser,wherehislipshoveredjustabovehers,andhemurmured,“Don’tyouknowthatI’ddoanythingtomakeyouhappy?”
IzzyfelttheworldshiftasshelookedatBlake’shonestfaceandsawthathemeantit.?“Youshouldgetoutofthosewetclothes.”Sheclimbedtoherfeet,grabbinghishandandpullinghimupwithher.“Givemeyourkeys.”
Hewatchedher,andwithoutaword,pulledhiskeysoutofhispocketandheldthemout.
“Thankyou,”shesaid,takingthemfromhisfingers,butshefeltalittleridiculouswhenherhandsshookassheunlockedthedoor.
Thesmellofhisapartmentwhenshepushedinthebig,woodendoor–cleanandsomehowtotallyhis–feltlikeawelcome.
“I’mgoingtochange,”hesaid,stilllookingsolemn.
“Don’tgoanywhere.”
“Iwon’t.”
Hiseyeswerebrightashesaid,“Betternot.”
“Youknow,”shecommented,rememberingwhathe’dsaidaboutsendinghermessages.“YoucouldletmeuseyourphonetoreadthetextsImissedwhileIwait.”
Hekindoffrozewhenshesaidthat,whichmadeherregretit.“Forgetit.Itdoesn’tmatter–”
“No.”Hepulledthephoneoutofhispocketanddraggedhisbigthumbacrossthescreen.“Ijust,uh,IguessyoucouldsayIwasalittleinmyfeelingswhileIwaitedforyou.”
Thatmadehersmile.“Icannotbelieveyoujustsaidthosewords,Phillips.”
“Right?”Hemadeaself-deprecatinglaugh-cough.“I’mafuckingidiotnow.”
“Now?”
Hefinallylookedlikehemightsmile–buthedidn’t.Hepaused,lookingather,runninghiseyesalloverherface,beforeheheldouthisphoneandsaid,“Justdon’tjudgemetooharshlyuntilIgetachancetodefendmyself.”
Shetookhisphoneandfeltlikeshe’dwonsomething.“Deal.”
Hedisappeareddownthehall,andshewalkedintothelivingroomandleanedherbacksideagainstthecouch’sarmrest.Shefoundhernameinhismessages–SBUXAMY–andstartedreadingfromthelasttextsherememberedgettingfromhim.
Blake:CanIpleasecallyou??Thatwasthetextshe’dreceivedwhileinthevanwithJoshandhisfriends,justbeforehe’dtakenherphone.
Thenextmessagewasfrom8amthatmorning.?Areyouawake?
Anhourlater:?CanIbuyyoubreakfastandwecantalk??Please?
Anhourafterthat:?Igetthatyoudon’twanttotalktomeandIrespectthat.ButIreallywishyou’dgivemefiveminutes.Justhearmeout,andthenyoucangobacktohatingmeifyouwant.
Twohourslater:?Ihavepizza,McDonalds,flowers,asix-pack,agallonofchocolateicecream,abottleofwine,andathousandapologies.Ifyou’llletmecomein,I’llgiveyouallofit.
Twentyminutesafterthat:?I’mwaitingonyourporch.Pleasedon’tthinkI’mastalker,butIcan’tfocusonanythingbutyou–us–soImightaswelljustwaituntilyougethere.
Tenminuteslater:?Thereisasquirrelapproachingandhelookshungry.I’mscared.
Tenminutesafterthat:?Fuck,here’sthething,Iz.IlikeyoumorethanI’veeverlikedanyone,okay?IlovethelanguageyouuseandtheweirdwayyouthinkandthesmellofyourhairandthewayyoumakemelaughandthewayyoueatpizzamorethananyhumanevershouldandImissyou.
Oneminutelater:?Myapologiesfortherun-onsentence.AlsoIKNOWthatit’sstupidtomissyouwhenit’sonlybeenaday,butsomehowIdo.
Twominuteslater:?IwilldowhateverittakestofixthisbecauseIthinkIloveyou.Iknowit’stoosoonandsweartoGodI’mnotsomepatheticclinger,butIjust
“Stillreading?”
IzzylookedupfromthephoneandtherewasBlake,wearinggreysweatpantsandaCubst-shirt,andthestrengthofthefeelingsshehadforhimwaskindofoverwhelming.Hewatchedher,looking…nervous,actually,andshefeltalittlelightheaded.
Soshejustnoddedandblinkedbackthetearsinhereyes.
Hesaid,“Ifyouneedmoretime–”
“IthinkIloveyou,too,”sheblurtedout.
Ifitweren’tforthewayhisAdam’sapplemovedwhenheswallowed,shemight’vethoughthedidn’thearher.Hisexpressiondidn’tchangeonebitbeforehesaid,“Whatdidyoujustsay?”
Shefeltlikeanidiot.“Well,Imean,I’msure–”
“Fuckingsayitagain,”hesaid,closingthedistancebetweenthem.Inasecondhewaswrappinghisarmsaroundherwaistandadding,“Butslower,Iz.Please,God.”
Shesetherhandsonhischest–?the?Chest.Whereitallbegan.Shesaid,“I.Think.I.Love.You.Too.”
Hesethisforeheadonhers.“It’sweird,right?”
Shelethereyescloseandshewhisperedback,“It’salwaysbeenweirdwithus.Sincetheverybeginning.”
Hepressedalightkisstothetipofhernose.
“Sowhere’sallmystuff?”sheasked,verynearlypurringasherubbedhisnoseagainsthers.
Hismouthslidintoabigsmile–finally,andhesaid,“Thedumpsterbehindyourbuilding.”
“What?”Shepulledbacktogivehimherbestscowl.“Youthrewitallaway?”
“Baby,Iwasdepressedasfuckinthepouringrain,”hesaid,teasingbutalsosoundingserious.“Ithrewyourstuffawaywithashit-tonofforceandalitanyofsadcurses,actually.”
Thatmadeherridiculouslypleasedevenwhileshefeltsorryforhim.Shetiltedherheadandsaid,“Wait–amI?baby?now?”
Henarrowedhiseyes.“Doyouwanttobe?”
Shegrinnedandsquinted,likeshewasthinkinghard.“Willyoupleasesaythewords?Areyoulost,babygirl?JustasasamplesoIcanseeifIlikeit?”
“Youlittlepervert,”hesaid,squeezingherwaistandgivinghermockanger.“Iwill?not?tablereadfromyourfavoriteporn.”
Shestartedlaughing,unabletobelieveherememberedtheirdiscussionaboutthespicyNetflixmovie.?“365Days?isNOTporn,fortherecord;Ialreadytoldyouthat.”
“Justbecauseyousaysomethingdoesn’tmeanit’safact.”
“Sure,itdoesn’t.”?“Iz.”
“Huh?”
Hesaidthroughgrittedteeth,“Canwestoptalkingnow?”
“Idon’tknowifIcan–”
Hecutheroffwithhishands,whichpulledhertighteragainsthisbody,andhismouth,whichlandedhotandwildonhers.
Yeah–hedidn’thavetotellhertwice.?Izzykissedhimbacklikeawanton,herbodyinfusedwithaheadycocktailofrelief,gratitudeandprimallust.Shepantedlikeshewasrunningasheopenedhismouthwideoverhers.Hisbighandscameuptothesidesofherface,hisfingersflexingonherskin,whichmade?her?purr.
“Yourdressiscute,”hesaidagainstherlips,“Andneedstobegone.I’dtakecareofitbutIdon’tthinkIcandoitwithoutfuckingrippingitoff.”
Shereachedaroundtothebackandundidthezipper,lettingthedressfalltothefloorastheycontinuedkissingeachotherlikethey’dbeenkeptapartfordecades.Herhandsfoundtheirwaytohisthickhairandthenhewaspickingherup,hismouthstillfeedingherheatasshewrappedherlegsaroundhiswaistandheledthemdownthehall.
“Ilovehowbigyourhandsare,”shebreathed,feelinghispalmsunderherassashecarriedherlikesheweighedmereounces.“Sofuckingsexy.”
“Ilovehowstrongyourthighsare,”hesaid,liftinghismouthfromhersandgivingheradirtygrin.“AndthewayyoualwaystightenthemwhenIdothis.”
Heloweredhisheadandbitdownlightlyonherneck,whichmadeherclencheverysinglemuscleinherbody,whichmadehimlaugh?and?groan,allatthesametime.?Shesomehowmanagedtopulloffhist-shirtashecarriedherintothebedroom,andwhenheclimbedontothebedwithIzzywrappedaroundhisbody,herfeetmanagedtoplantonthebackofhiscalvesandpulldownhissweatpants.
“Fuckingindustrious,”hesaid,laughingasherolledontohisback(carryingherwithhim)andusedhisownfeettofinishthejob.“See,thisiswhyIthinkIloveyou.”
Shefeltwarmthbloom,fromthetipsofhertoesallthewaytothetopofherhead,ashegrinnedupather.Shesettledontopofhim,sittingupandlettingherkneeslowertoeachsideofhishipsasshegrinnedrightback.“BecauseIcantakeoffyourpantswithmyfeet.”
“No.”Hissmiledroppedawayandheraisedhishandstothebackofherneck,pullingherfaceclosertohis.Itfeltlikehisdarkeyeswereherwholeworldashisfingersburnedherskin.Heswallowedandsaid,“Imean,yes.Butno.Becauseyou’rethisfuckinggorgeousperfectweirdothatIamobsessedwith.”
Herthroatwastight,becauseforsomereasonitfeltlikethemostperfectlovedeclarationshecouldeverimagine.
“It’swaytoosoontosaythis,butIknowIloveyou,Iz,justlikeIknowGoodyearneedsinsulintoliveandthatI’mallergictocashews.”Hewasbeautifulandearnestashelookedintohereyessaid,“Idon’texpectyouto–”
“ButIdo.”Sheblinkedbacktears–whatthehellwasthat–andnodded.“Iknowit,too.”
Hisjawmuscletensedandhisnostrilsflaredbeforehepulledhermouthbacktohis.
Andtheneverythingchanged.
Hewasstilldeliveringwhite-hothungerwithhislipsandtongue,butitsomehowfeltdeeper,asiftheyweresigningtheirnamestoanunspokenagreement,committingtosomethingbiggerviakissesandsighs.Hishandstangledinherhairandhesatup,likehecouldn’tgetenoughandneededtobecloser,andshewonderedifshecoulddiefromanoverdoseoflust.
Shefeltlikeshecouldandalsothatshe’dbeabsolutelyfinewithit.
Whatawaytogo.
BlakePhillipswaskillingher,andsheneverwantedittostop.?Heturnedthemagain,sohewasaboveher,andshereveledinthefeelofhim;theweightofhisbigbodyonhers,theslideofhisleghairagainstherownopposingsmoothness,theheatofhisskin.
Thehardnessofhisbody–everyridged,strainingmuscle–madeherwildwithneed.
Shetrailedherfingersuphiswide,shreddedback,hernailspressingintohisfleshassheurgedhimcloser.?More.Sheneededmore.
Him.
Now.
“Blake,”shesaidagainsthislips,shamelesslydiggingherheelsintohissoftsheets,rubbingagainsthimashecontinuedtreatinghermouthasifitwereagourmetmealandhe’dbeendeprivedoffoodforamonth.Shemanagedtopantout?now?and?please?withoutinterruptingthedeliciousonslaught,andthenshehissed?yessssss?whensheheardhisbighandriflinginthenightstand.
ButBlake–Blakedidn’tstop.No,hecontinuedinhalingher,devouringher,evenwhilesuitinghimselfup.?Hotdamn,shethought,deliriouswithwant.?VPBlakeisafuckingRockstaratmulti-tasking.?Sheclosedhereyesandkissedhimbackwitheverysinglepieceofher,andwhenhepressedinsideherbody,fillinghersoperfectly,shealreadycouldn’trememberwhatitfeltliketonotloveBlakePhillips.
Blake
“Comeon,Shay–youdon’treallywanttogohome,doyou?”Blakeasked,yellingfromthebedasshefetchedthemsnacksfromthekitchen.Itwasmidnight,andnotonlywasheexhausted,buthereallywantedIzzytosleepinhisbedallnight.
“OfcourseIdon’t,”sheyelledback,clinkingdishes.“ButTheDarklingneedsfood.”?“Can’tyoucallJosh?”
“He’sgotanearlyflightinthemorning,”shesaid.“Hewon’thelp.”
Blakekickedbackthecovers,gotupandwalkedintothekitchen.“What’shisnumber?”
“Whose?”Izzyglancedathimasshesprinkledshreddedcheesealloverahugestackoftortillachips.“HaveIevertoldyouhowgoodyoulookinapairofboxer-briefs,bytheway?”
“Youhavenotandthankyou.Now–yourcousin.”Blakesatdownatoneofthecounterstoolsandwatchedasshebentherknees–tobeatnachoeye-level,hewasassuming–andsurveyedherchipmountain.“What’shisnumber?”
Shespouteditoff,stillfocusedonhersnacks,andhetexted:?CanyoufeedIzzy’scat?
Theresponsewasalmostimmediate.?IsthisTheDouche?You’vegotsomenerve.UnlessIzzyhasforgivenyou,inwhichcase,Blake–what’shappening?
Blakehalf-smiledatthat;whoweretheseweirdos,anyway?HestoodandwenttofindGoodyearinthelivingroom.Hetexted:?ItISBlake.I’llgiveyoufiftybucks.
Josh:NoI’mpissedatyou.Douche.UnlessIhavepermissiontonotbe.DoIhaveIz’sok?
Hefull-onsmiledatthat,scoopingupthecatandtexting:?Youhaveherok.She’ssleepingover.We’regood.Butfortherecord,Josh,Iapologizetoyou,aswell.
Josh:Thx.Ifyoupromisenottodickheraround,thisone’sonthehouse.
Blake:You’retoo?kind.?Josh:Right?
Blake:Later,Josh.
Josh:Peaceout,PhysicalChallenge.
BlakesetGoodyearontheleatherrecliner–stupidcatlovedtosleeptherebutcouldn’tgetupwithouthelp–andhesawIzzythroughhisslidingdoor.Shewasstandingonthebalcony,lookingoutatthecity,lookinglikeafantasyinjusthist-shirtandargylesocks.
Okay–lookinglike?his?ideaofafantasy.
Whenhepulledopenthedoor,shedidn’tturnaround.Sheleanedontherailingandsaid,“Iloveitouthere.”
“Same.”Hesteppedclosertoher,wrappinghisarmsaroundherwaistandtrappingherbetweenhisbodyandtherailing.Heloweredhishead,inhalingthesweetnessofherneckashesaid,“CanIaskyouaquestion?”
“Sure,”shesaid,asmileinhervoiceasshegroundherbacksideagainsthim.
“Minx,”hemuttered,nippingatherneck.“DoyouthinkyoucankeepthenoisedownifIweretoliftthatt-shirt,slidedownthosepantiesandbendyouoverthebalcony?”
“Hell,?yes,”shesaidinanear-whisper,soundinghalf-amusedandhalf-aroused.
“Yousure?”heasked,bitingdownonherearlobeashishandsfoundhersoftthighs.Heslowlyslidhisfingersupthebacksofherlegs–fuckshehadthesoftestskin–untilhewasliftingthehemoftheshirtoverherperfectass.“Becauseyou’rekindofnoisy,andIhavetolivehere.”
“Well,”shesaid,hervoiceabreathyraspthatmadehisbloodboil.“Iguessyouhaveachoicetomake,Chest.Riskversusreward.”
Sheremovedthesexylayeroflaceandpresentedhimwithabeautifulchoice.
“IfIsayIloveyouatthismoment,”hestarted,feelingdizzywithlustasheshedhisownlayerofCalvinKleincottonsodamnfast.
“Itwon’tcount,”shesaid,wideningherstanceandmakinganyremainingblooddrainfromhishead.
“Grabtherailing,”hesaid,doneplaying.“Andleandownalittle.”
“You’renotthebossofmeanymore,remember?”shesaid,lookingathimoverhershoulder,andthenshemoanedwhenheslidinsideher.
No–itwasn’tamoan.Shesighed,butwithvolume.
Hedidn’tknowwhatitwascalled,thatnoise,butheknewitsethimonfire
“Doyouhaveanyidea,”hesaid,clenchinghisjawashegrabbedherhipsandstartedmoving,“HowmanytimesI’veimaginedthisexactscenarioplayingoutinmyoffice,ontopofmydesk,andIwasabsolutelythebossofyou?”
Herbreathingwaserratic,herfingerstightlywrappedaroundtherailing,butthesmartassstillmanagedtosay–no,she?breathed,“VPBlakeisunethicalinhispervertedfantasies.”
“Onlyaboutyou,”hesaid,andthenhedidn’tsayanythingelseatall.Itgottohot,toogood,toooverwhelminglypotentforhimtorememberwhatthehellwordseven?were?afterthat.?Chapter21
Izzy
HowwasBlake’sbedsounbelievablycomfortable?
Izzyopenedhereyesandsighedhappily,herheadonthedowny-softpillow,herbodyburiedbytheheavydownduvet.Shewasfloatinginaseaofdreambedding,bobbinginanoceanofwarmcomfortthatsmelledlikebleachandBlake,andshedidn’twanttoevergetup.
Sherolledover,grabbedherglassesfromthenightstand,andputthemon.Shewasaloneinthebed,inthedark,butwhenshesatup,shecouldseethatBlakewasinthehugewalk-inclosetontheothersideoftheroom.
Hewasstandinginfrontofthefull-lengthmirrorinsuitpantsandadressshirt,tyinghistie.?Dearlord,thebreadthofthatperfectchest.?Hishairwasdamp,hisfeetwerebare,andshefoundherselfincrediblysmittenasshewatchedhim.?So,?thisishowBlaketransformsintoVPBlake.?Therewasjustsomethingso…intimate?aboutwatchinghimreadyhimselfforwork.
Shefroze,carefulnottomoveamuscleandruintheroutinebyinterrupting.Shewantedtomemorizeeverymundanetaskforfuturementalplayback.Heturnedtoastack?ofdrawersthatwere?builtintotheclosetandpulledoutarolled-uppairofsocks.
“Goodmorning,Shay,”hesaid,notlookingather.Hisvoicewasscratchy,likehehadn’tusedityet,andsomethingaboutitmadeherbreathless.
“How’dyouknowIwasawake?”sheasked,pullingupherkneesandwrappingherarmsaroundherlegs.“Iwassoquiet.”
Heexitedthecloset,givingheralookashewalkedtowardthebedwithonlythatsliveroflightilluminatingtheroom.“That’showIknew.Areyouawareofthefactthatyouarenevermotionless–like,ever–whenyou’reasleep?”
Sheshrugged.“Imaybetossandturna?little.”
“Idamn-neargotseasick,”heteased,sittingdownontheedgeofthebedbesideher.
“DidIkeepyouup?”sheasked,wonderinghowhecouldlooksoperfectat6:23inthemorning.
“Nah.YourconstantmotionjustservedasareminderthatIsabellaShaywasinmybed,whichmademesleeplikeababy.”
Thatmadehersmile,andthenherheartskippedabeatwhenheleanedcloserandgaveherasweetpeckonthe?mouth,thekindofkissamanplaced?onhispartner’slipseverymorningbeforetheirdaysbegan.
“So,whatareyourplansfortoday?”heasked,turninghisattentiontohissocks.Blakeunrolledthepair,proppedhisleftfootonhisrightknee,andpulledonthefirstsock.“Pizzainbed?”
Izzyswitchedonthelampandgotup,stretchingbeforewalkingovertothemasterbathroom.“I’mgoingtoapplyforasmanyjobsasIcan,goforalongrun,andperhapstakeanapbecause?someone?didn’tletmegetanysleeplastnight.”
Sheflippedonthebathroomlightandlookedinthemirror.Gah–herhairwaseverywhere.IzzygrabbedBlake’sbrushandattemptedtogetherbedheadundercontrol.
“I’mnotsorry,andalso,IwasthinkingIcanwalktoworktodaysoyoucanusemycar.”
Izzyglancedoverathimthroughthedoorway.“I’mnotgoingtotakeyourcar.”
“Whynot?”Hegotupfromthebedandwalkedbackovertothecloset.“Youcanuseitallday,andthenI’lljustforceyoutopickmeupafterworkandstayoverinmybedagain.”
She’dbelyingifshesaidthatdidn’tmakeherblissfullyhappy.“Youshouldn’thavetowalktowork,andalso,um,youdriveanAudi.”
Sheheardhimdoingsomethinginhisclosetashebarked,“So?”
Izzyturnedonthewaterandputsoapinherhands.“Soit’stoonice.”
Shestartedwashingherface,inlovewiththesmellofhissoap,thecleanminimalismofhisbathroom,andeventhefactthathisexpensivewatchwassittingonthevanitybesideabottleofcologne.?ShefeltlikeshewassurroundedbyBlakeanditwasperfection.?Shewasjustleaningdowntosplashwateroverhercheeksandwashawaythesudswhenheappearedbehindherinthemirror.
“IsitweirdthatI’mkindof?into?theideaofyouborrowingmycar?”Hiseyeswerecrinklyaroundtheedges,hismouthsoftashemethereyesinthemirrorandsaid,
“Yeah,it’sweird.”?Sheturnedaround,herfacecoveredinsoapylather,andshesaid,“DoyouknowhowbusyIwanttogetwithyouwhenyou’reweird?”
Thatmadehimfull-onsmileandgivehisheadashake.“Didn’twetalkaboutthephrase?gettingbusy?”
Izzygrinnedbackathim,runningahandoverhistieandthehardchestunderneathit.“Sorry.WhatImeanttosaywas–doyouknowhowbangableyouarewhenyou’rediggingme?”
“Diggingyou.”Blakeputhisbighandoverhers,trappingitagainsthissternum.“Whatifyoudrivemetowork,thentakethecartoyourplace?”
IzzycoulddieofhappinesswhenBlakestoodtherelikethat,?not?tryingtobecoolaboutwantingtoseeheragain.Shesaid,“Iguessthatworks,butonlyifyoupromisenottogetmadifIdrivetoofast.”
Helaughed,arumblychucklethatcamefromdeepwithinhischest.“Icannotmakethatpromise.”
“WellthenIcannot-”
“FortheloveofGod,Iz,rinseoffthesoap,”heinterrupted,laughingalittleharderasheputhisbighandsonhershouldersandturnedheraround.“Beforeyougetfoaminyoureyes.”
Izzylaughed,too,whenshesawthebigblobsofsoapthatweredanglingprecariously,abouttodripoffofherface.Hergigglesgotstuckinherthroat,though,whensheraisedhereyestohis.Heat,warmth,andsomethingmore–wonderfully,perfectlymore–hoveredbetweenthem.
“I’mgoingtogotakecareoftheboysbeforeyoudistractmeandmakemelate,”hesaid,kissingthetopofherhead.“Thinkyou’llbereadytogointwenty?”
Shenoddedandturnedthewaterbackon.“Yep.”
“WanttostopforaPSLontheway,Amy?”
“YouknowthatIdo,Chest.”
7:45a.m.
Blake:Youhome?
Izzy:Yep.Justgothere.
Blake:Andmycar…?
Izzy:Totaled.
Blake:Thankyoufortakingsuchgoodcareofit.
Izzy:I’mseriouslyobsessedwithit.AllIwanttodoisdrive.
Blake:Youcan,y’know.
Izzy:IfearImightaccidentallycommitGTAanddisappearfromtheareaifIspendanymoretimewithhim.
Blake:HIM?
Izzy:Thatcarisasleek,fast,sexybastard.TOTALLYadude.
Blake:Agreetodisagree.
Izzy:How’sworkbtw?
Blake:Fine.IthinkImightmissyou(orelseIneedsomeTums).
Izzy:Can’tyoumissmeANDneedTums?
Blake:ImissyouandneedaTum.
Izzy:Icanbringyouone.
Blake:WithoutGTAtemptation?
Izzy:Hmmm….
Blake:It’sonlybeen30minutessinceyoudroppedmeoff.IsayweholdoffontheTumdelivery.
Izzy:LMKifyouchangeyourmind.
Blake:Willdo.IhaveameetinginafewminutessoIshouldprobably?go.
Izzy:IthinkI’mgoingtomissyou.OrneedaTum.
Blake:Not“think,”Iz–youKNOW.Tryitagain–alltogetherthistime.
Izzy:IknowI’mgoingtomissyou,Phillips.
Blake:Ditto,Shay.

11:15a.m.
Izzy:Youshouldcomeoverforlunch.I’llmakeyousomethingwiththeketchup,soysauceandAmericancheeseinmyfridgeifyou’renicetome.
Blake:Damn,girl,youreallyknowhowtotemptaguy.
Izzy:Right?AndI’mwearingmygrandma’shousecoatatthemoment,soI’llevenlooksexyAFwhileIcook.
Blake:SOtempting,butIhavenocar,remember?
Izzy:Icouldcomegetyou…
Blake:Ihaveameetingat1:15,sothereisn’treallyenoughtime.
Izzy:WhatifImakeyouACTUALfoodandIwearACTUALclothes?Thenwouldyoubeinterested?
Blake:Baby,youcouldwearany-fucking-thing,servingany-ass-food,andIwouldbefrothing-at-the-mouthinterested.
Izzy:Ooh–I’m“baby”again.WillyousayitNOW?
Blake:NO.
Izzy:Pleeeeeeeeease?
Blake:WhatdoIgetifIsayit?
Izzy:Mymouthonyour—
Blake:…..mywhat??MyWHAT,SHAY????
Izzy:SayitandI’lltellyou.?B
lake:SIGH.Ahem.“Areyoulost,BabyGirl?”
Izzy:Gawwwwwwwwd.{fansself}Getyourassoverhere,Chest.
Blake:Nocarandmeetingatone,remember?
Izzy:Yes,that’sright(wipessweatbeadsoffupperlip).Listen,don’ttakethisthewrongway,Phillips,butIcan’twaittoseeyouat5.I’mliterallycountingthehoursuntilIcanpickyouup.Weird,right?
Blake:?Absolutelybizarre,yetIfeeltheEXACTsameway.Ithinkwemight’veeatenspoiledmeatorsomething.
Izzy:Forsure.Thiswholethingiseitherloveorspoiledmeat.
Blake:Well,then–Ispoiledmeatyou.
Izzy:Ispoiledmeatyou,too.
Blake
11:45a.m.
Blakepressedthebuzzerandwaited.?Andwaited.?Heknewshewashomebecausehiscarwasparkedoutfront,butshewasn’tansweringthedoor.?Hetexted:?Whatareyoudoing?
Izzy:Jobapplications.
Blake:Aren’tyougoingtoanswerthedoor?
Izzy:That’syou??
Blake:Yup.
Thedooropenedandthereshewas,lookingathimwithacrinklebetweenhereyebrows.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Hestraightenedfromhisdoorwayleanandheldoutthebouquetofdaisies.“My1:15meetingwascancelled,soIdecidedtotaketheafternoonoff.Pizza’sontheway.”
Shekeptsquintingathim.“Whowasthemeetingwith?”
“Brad,”hesaid.
“Whydidhecancel?”
“Hedidn’t,”hesaid,andhewatchedashereyesmovedalloverhisface.“Idid.”
“Youcancelledyourmeeting.”Herfacechangedthen,morphingfromconfusiontostraight-upfuckingsunshine.Hernosecrinkledandhergreeneyessquintedandherlipsslidintoahugegrin.“Getyourassinhere,Chest.”
Izzygrabbedtheflowersandwentinside.Blakefollowed.?“I’mgoingtogetavaseforthese,”shesaid,walkingtowardthekitchen.“Berightback.”
Blakestartedtofollow,butshestopped,putoutahandandsaid,“YoucanturnontheTVorsomething.I’llberightback.”
“Oh-kay,”hesaid,watchingasshedisappearedintotheotherroom.?HepacedaroundthelivingroomforaminuteandpettedTheDarkling,buthecouldn’tignorethenoisesfromthekitchen.Itsoundedlikeshewaschasingamouseorsomething,likeshewasrunningandbumpingintowallsandknockingthingsover.
Hequietlyapproachedthedoorway,andthenhegotthatfeelinginhischestagain,thepinch,onlyitwasthehardestit’deverbeen.Thatpinchingfeelingalmostbroughttearstohiseyesashewatchedhertrytohide…everything.
“Iz,”hesaid,andshefroze.
“This,um,isjust…”Shelookedaroundatthekitchen,obviouslytryingtoformulatesomelogicalexplanation.“Likeacleanupeffort–”
“Didyougogetallofthis?”heasked,notmeaningtosoundsogruff.?Shelookedathimlikeshedidn’twanttoadmitit,butalsolikesheknewhecouldseetheanswer.
“Idon’treallythinkthat’sanyofyourbusiness.”
“Why?”Hewalkedtowardher,?at?her,crowdingandstalkingandjustneedingtobe?closer.Shetookastepbackward,buthedidn’tstopuntilherbackwasagainstthecounter,herfrontpressedtohis.“Didyouactuallyget?in?thedumpster?”
Shegnawedonherlowerlipandshrugged.
Hetookherchininhisthumbandforefinger,raisinghergaze,lovingeveryexpressionthatcrossedtheexpanseofherface.“Isthatthebottleofwine?Andthepizzabox?”
Someofthethingshe’dbroughtherthedaybefore–thewine,thegallonoficecream,theflowers–hadapparentlybeenrescuedfromthedumpster.?Theflowerswerewiltedandshreddedandlimplybendingoverthesidesofavaseshe’dputthemin.Thebottleofwinewasinthesink,thelabelsoakedbecauseshe’dclearlywashedit;therewasstillasoapbubbleonthedarkglass.Theemptyicecreamcontainer,theemptypizzabox–theywereeachsittingonthecounter,scrubbedanddrying.
Izzysighedandrolledhereyes,embarrassed.“Ijustwantedtobeabletosavethem,okay?Ithrewawaythegrossstuff,um,but…”?‘
Thatpinchingfeeling;fuck,itwasgoingtokillhim.Hefeltalmostparalyzedbythestrengthofitashelookedathisdreamgirl,surroundedbyhisgiftsthatshe’ddugoutofadumpsterbecauseshe?wantedtosavethem.?Godhelphim.?“IsabellaClarence,IloveyousomuchthatIcanbarelybreathe.Pleaseneverchange,okay?”
Hermouthcurledintothesweetestsmileandshesaid,“Iwon’tifyouwon’t,Blakely,um…shit,Idon’tknowevenyourmiddlename.What’syourmiddlename?”
“Clarence.”Helookeddownintoherface,smilingupathim,andhetriedcountingtheconstellationoffrecklesonhernose.One.Two.Three.Four—?“Shutup–youarelying!”
Helaughed,stilljustasshockedasthefirsttimehe’dheardit,andheknewhe’dnevergetsickofthewildanimationofherface.Shegapedathim,herprettymouthwideopen,andhesaid,“SweartoGod.”
Sheblinkedfast,thengaveherheadashake,thenwrappedherhandaroundhistieandgaveitatug.“Thisis–byfar–themostshockingthingI’veeverheard.Doyoubelieveinfate,Mr.Chest?”
Blakeswipedhisthumbsoverthesoftskinofhercheeks–five,six,seven–andsaidtheabsolutetruththathefeltintheverycenterofhissoul.“Ididn’tuntilImetyou,StarbucksAmy.”??Epilogue
“Irefuse.Iwillnotdoit,nomatterwhatyousay.”
“Comeon,Iz,”Blakesaid,kneelinginfrontofher.“Justsayyes.”
“Iwouldratherdie,”shesaid,turningherheadawayfromhim.Shecouldn’tlookathimwhenhewaslikethat,gorgeousandhalf-dressedandgivingherthathopefullookthatwasnearlyimpossibletodeny.“AndIprobably?will?dieifIdoit.”
“Iwon’tletyoudie.”Blakeglancedathiswatchbeforesaying,“Pleeeeeease?”
Izzyrolledhereyesandshookherhead.“WhydidIevergiveyouJosh’snumber?”
“BecauseyouwantedtohavesexallnightandneededhimtofeedTheDarkling,ifIrecall.”Blakestoodfromwherehe’dbeencrouchedbesidethecouchandextendedhishand.?“Getupandcomewithme.”
“HaveIevertoldyouthatyoulookgoodinboxer-briefs?”sheasked,lettinghimpullhertoherfeet.
“Ahundredtimes,butflatterywon’tgetyououtofthis.Comeshowerwithme,andthenlet’sgokicksomeass.”
“Howcansomeonesosmartbesoincapableoflearning?”IzzymutteredtoherselfasBlakeledhertowardthebedroom.?Shemovedinwithhimafewmonthsago,probablytoosoonfornormalpeoplebutperfectforthem.Everythinghadbeenamazingsincethedayshe’dhungherTargetoutfitsintheclosetbesidehisGQsuits,andshe’dneverlookedback
ShehadagreatjobatGoogle,workinginHR,andBlakehadbeenpromotedtoanEVPatEllis.Theirofficebuildingsweren’tthatfarapart,soonmostMondays,theystillmetatCaniglia’sfoodtruckforpizzaandcalzone.
Honestly,thebiggestchallengeforthemsofarhadbeenthecats.
TheDarklingdidn’tlikeeitherofBlake’scats,andpoorGoodyearhidunderachairforthefirstweekthatIzzyandherfurballlivedthere,terrified.Thefelineswerefinallyco-existingasoflastmonth–basicallybecauseTheDarklingneverleftthebedroom–sopeacehadkindofbeenrestored.
Joshmovedintoheroldplace,thrilledtohaveanupstairsapartment?and?adownstairsapartmentlikeatotalboss.Shedidn’ttalktohimquiteasoftensinceshemoved,butheandBlaketextedallthetime.?HencetheBillboardAssholeschallengethatherboyfriendwasapparentlytooweaktorefuse.
“Yourcousin’sidiotfriendskeeptalkingsmack,Iz,sayingthatourwinwasriggedbecauseI’mgoodatpushupsorsomebullshitlikethat.Joshneedstoclearhisnamewithhisnerdsquad,andweneedtoprovethatwecanbeatthemat?any?challenge.”
“Butwecan’t,”shesaid,andwhenBlakestoppedbesidethebathroomdoor,Izzyraisedherarmssohecouldremovehershirt.?“Thegameisimpossibleanddangerous.”
“Shay.”Hegaveherasmile,oneofthosesweetly-patientgrins,andtookoffhertoplikehewashercaretaker.“Wewonbefore,andwecanwinagain.”
“Doubtful,”shesaid,butthenitwasherturnforshirtremoval.SheslidtheChiefst-shirtup,lettinghereyesandfingertipsenjoythepectoralexposure.Onceitwasoff,shegrinnedandsaid,“Although…IkindoffeellikeI’mwinningatthemoment.”
“Same.AndthenightwewonatBillboardAssholes,Iz?”Hepulledherclose,hisbighandscoveringherbacksideandpressingherflushagainsthim.“Thegamewasn’tthewin–thekisswas.”
Shesmiled,remembering.“Thatwasgoingtobeouroneandonly,justtoseewhatitwaslike.”
Hemadeanoisethatmockedtheirfoolishness.“Itwasthegatewaydrug.”
“Areyousayingmykissgotyouhooked?”
Heraisedahandandpushedherhairoffherface.“Honey,IwashookedtheminuteyoufeltmeupinStarbucks,checkingforathirdnippleinthosedirty-assglasses.”?Izzylaughed,butshefeltthesame.
She’dbelongedtoBlakesincetheverysecondshe’dstolenaPSLandaccidentallybecameAmy.