Lunar Love

Thisbookisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentsaretheproductoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously.Anyresemblancetoactualevents,locales,orpersons,livingordead,iscoincidental.
Copyright?2023byLaurenKungJessen
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LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Names:Jessen,LaurenKung,author.
Title:Lunarlove:anovel/LaurenKungJessen.
Description:Firstedition.|NewYork:Forever,2023.
Identifiers:LCCN2022037075|ISBN9781538710258(tradepaperback)|ISBN9781538710272(ebook)
Subjects:LCGFT:Romancefiction.|Novels.Classification:LCCPS3610.E8747L862023|DDC813/.6—dc23/eng/20220805
LCrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2022037075
ISBNs:9781538710258(tradepaperback),9781538710272(ebook)
E3-20221129-NF-DA-ORITableofContents
Cover
TitlePage
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Chapter16
Chapter17
Chapter18
Chapter19
Chapter20
Chapter21
Chapter22
Chapter23
Chapter24
Chapter25
Acknowledgments
DiscoverMore
ReadingGroupGuide
AbouttheAuthor
PraiseforLaurenKungJessenandLunarLove

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TableofContents
Forthosewhoarealsomixedandhavefeltliketheyaren’tenoughordon’tbelong.
Youareandyoudo.Explorebookgiveaways,sneakpeeks,deals,andmore.
Tapheretolearnmore
Chapter1
Inmyalmosteightyearsofmatchmaking,there’sonethingIknowtobetrue:loveislikethemoon.
Caseinpoint:lovemovesinphases.Newloveisabarelytherewhisperinthenightsky,aslowburnintobrightness.Therelationshipmaturesinthefirstquarter,advancingintofullillumination—twocompatiblepeoplebecomingwhole.Theimmediatepassionwanesbutdoesn’tdisappear.Instead,theinitialflashevolvesintoasteadyglow.Likethemoon,loveisdependable.Youdon’thavetoseethemoonorlovetoknowthey’rethere.
Boththemoonandloveareromanticandenchanting,canbemoodyandmysterious,possessdarksides,andhavegravitationalpullsonusthatwejustcan’tcontrol,nomatterhowhardwetry.ThemoonwasformedwhenalargeobjectcollidedintoEarth,ahappenstancesocataclysmicallydevastatingthatproducedsomethingsobeautiful.Whentwopeoplecollide,there’sthepossibilitythatlovewillbecreated.There’salsothepotentialforusandeverythingwe’veeverknowntobethrownoutoforbit
AsamatchmakeratLunarLove,myfamily’sChinesezodiacmatchmakingbusiness,it’smydutytokeepclientsandtheirrelationshipsrotatingontheiraxesandrevolvinginorbit.Imakethoughtfulandpersonalizedmatchesbasedonpeople’scompatibleanimalsigntraits.MyyearsofhardworkhavepaidoffbecauseI’llofficiallybeinchargeofLunarLoveinjustafewhours.Bytheendoftoday,itslegacywillbemyresponsibility.
I’vededicatedmyselftomycraft,sooneday,IcanbehalfasgoodasPóPo,whohasgrownLunarLovethroughthedecades.Expectationstomakematchesisonething,butwhenyou’rethegranddaughterofLunarLove’sfamouslysuccessfulmatriarch,whosematchrateforChinesezodiacmatchmakingisnear-perfect,expectationsreachtrulycelestialheights.
IparkinmyusualspotinthepublicparkinggarageacoupleofblocksfromLunarLoveandweavethroughearly-birdtouristsonthehuntforbreakfastinLosAngeles’sChinatown.Intheeight-minutewalkfrommycartoLuckyMonkeyBakery,Iwatchvendorsrolltheirboxesofvegetablesandfruitsonhandtrucksandbumpagainstearlymorningshopperseagertobeatthecrowds.Burntorangelanternsarestrungbetweencolorfulpagoda-styleshops,dottingthelightblue,cloud-speckledsky.VividmuralsrecountChineselegends,thecolorfulmosaicspoppingagainstthedulledbrick.
Anincomingcallfrommymomglowsonmyphonescreen.BeforeIcansayhello,avoiceattheotherendfranticallyspeaks.“Whereareyou?Nevermind.Ineedyoutomakeaquickstop!”
“I’mgrabbingalatebreakfastatLuckyMonkey,”Isay,quickeningmypace.
“Oh,perfect!Ineedyoutopickupextrabuns.”ThestressinMom’svoicepracticallymakesmycellphonevibrate.
“Don’tyouthinkthecakeImadewillbeenough?PlusallthepastriesDadmade?”Iask,sidesteppingamancarryingatuboffish.“LuckyMonkey’sbeenopenforacoupleofhoursalreadysoIdon’tknowhowmuchwillbeleft.”
“PóPowantscocktailbunsforherbirthdaybreakfast.Justchooseanassortmentofitems,butdon’tforgetcocktailbuns.Apparently,she’shavingacoconutcraving.”
Inodtomyself.“Gotit.”
“AndafewBoLoBaosforme.Onesecond.”Atalowervolumeawayfromthephone,IhearMombarkoutmoreorders,tomyfathermostlikely.“HaveyoudecidedontheballoonsforNina’sCookieDay?”Momasks,aquestiondirectedatmethistime.
“Ofcourse.I’mfinalizingthedetailsonthattoday,”Isay,makingamentalnote.“Okay,I’mhere.Seeyousoon.”
AsIapproachLuckyMonkeyBakery,mystomachgrumblesinexcitement.Thebakeryhasn’tchangedmuchinoverfivedecades,withitsunassumingfa?adefeaturingasingleidentifyingsignwritteninChinesecharacters.Behinditsdoorsisawonderlandofsweetandsavorybakedgoodswithavarietyoffillingsandcakesandtartsthatlooktooprettytoeat.
AwaveofunexpectedheatgreetsmewhenIstepintotheshop,theringingofbellsabovethedoorthesoundtracktomyentrance.Neartheentryway,theyellowwallsarelinedwithframedphotosandarticlesfrommagazinesfeaturingthebakery.APolaroidphotoofme,mysister,andmyoldbestfriendfromtwentyyearsagocatchesmyeye.Ournosesandcheeksarecoveredinflour,oursmilesalmostbiggerthanourfaces.Iinhalethescentofbutter,egg,andsugarandcontinueonwithmymission.
Theowners,MaeandDaleZhang,ahusbandandwifewhostartedtheirbakeryaroundthetimePóPofirstsetupshophere,packasmuchastheycanintothesmallspace.TheybecamefastfriendswithPóPo,andI’veknownthemmyentirelife,sowhilethey’renottechnicallybloodrelated,they’reasclosetofamilyastheycanget.Tome,they’rejustMaeYí-PóandDaleYí-Gongandarepracticallymythirdsetofgrandparents.
MaeYí-PóandDaleYí-GonghaveestablishedareputationformakingcolorfulcakesandofferingthewidestvarietyofAsianbakedgoods.Oncetheyselloutofsomething,it’sgonefortheday,soregularsknowtoshowupearlytogetfirstpick.
“Olivia!”avoiceshoutsoverthebustleofhungryvisitors.“Nǐhǎo!It’snicetoseeyou!”
IwavetoMaeYí-Póasshecarefullyslidesafreshlyfrostedcakeintothedisplaycase.
“Nǐhǎo!”IcalloutasImakemywaytoher.“Howareyoudoingtoday?”
“Ican’tgetthedamnoventoturnoff.Sootherthanbeingdrenchedinsweat,great!”MaeYí-Pósays,sweepingherbangsovertotheleft.
Lastsummer,shechoppedallhersilverhairoffintoapixiecut,whichhasaccentuatedhercheekbonesandcomplementedherpetitebutstrongframe.MaeYí-Pótwistsanotherfruit-toppedcakeonapedestalsothatherpipedwhippedcreamdesignsareprominentlydisplayed.
“IhearMonday’sabigdayforyou,”shesays.
Inod.“I’mreallyexcited.”
“ItfeelslikeyesterdaythatyouandNinaweretinylittlethingscominginhereandeatingallofoursteamedbuns.”Hereyesflickovertothewallofphotos.“How’syourfriendColettedoing?”
Ihesitatebeforeanswering.“I’mnotsure,”Iadmit,tensingup.“I’vebeenbusy.”
“Well,ofcourseyouare!You’reinchargeofthefamilybusinessnow,”MaeYí-Pósays.Intheairinfrontofher,shedrawsanarchwithherhands.“OliviaHuangChristenson,ChiefExecutiveofLove.That’sgotaniceringtoit.”
“That’snotbad.Imayneedtohavenewbusinesscardsprintedup,”Isay,playingalong.
“It’sabouttimeyouwereincharge.ThoughIrememberJunestartingLunarLovelikeitwasyesterday.DoIlookasoldasIfeel?”MaeYí-Pówipesherhandsonthetowelhangingfromherapron.She’stheonewhotaughtmehowtobakewhenIwasyounger.WhenPóPoandAuntieLydia,mymom’ssisterwhotookoverLunarLoveafterPóPoretired,werebusywithclients,I’dsneakoverheretohelpmixicingandwatchdoughrise.
“Notevenalittle,”Isay.“AreyoustillcomingtoPóPo’sbirthdaypartytoday?”
“Iwouldn’tmissit.Dalewon’tbethere,unfortunately,sincehe’llbecoveringforme.”
“Soundslikehe’sfinallyfeelingbetter?”
“Muchbetter.Thedoctorsaysitwasjuststress.I’msureyouknowthepressuretosellhasbeenincreasingallovertown,andwithnewrestaurantscomingin,it’shardtocompetewithshinythings.”MaeYí-Póswipescrumbsoffthecounterintoherhandsasshetalks.“Verydangeroustohisheart.Haveyoubeenapproachedbythevulturesyet?”
“Who?”Iask,confused.
“Realestateagents,”sheclarifies.
“Oh.NotthatIknowof,”Isay,thinkingbackonrecentnon-clientvisitors
“Theyactallsneakyandtrytobefriendyou,butatthefirstsignofweakness,theyswoopinandtrytobuyyourlandoutfromunderyou.”MaeYí-Póclapsherhandstogether,startlingme.“Ithappenedtoourfriendsatthebookstorenexttoyou.”
“Weneedtoholdstrongsowedon’tlosetheessenceofwhatmakesChinatownspecial,”Isay.
MaeYí-Pópushesherglassesupthebridgeofhernose.“Exactly!Goodgirl.Anyways,go,go!Weknowyou’regoingtodogreatthingswithLunarLove.We’resoproud.”
“Thanks,MaeYí-Pó.”Ismileather,gratefulforthesupport.“Seeyouattheparty!”
Iselectapairoftongsandasmallcream-coloredtraylinedwithparchment.Itakecountofwhatremainsaftertheearlymorningrushthroughtheilluminatedplasticcasespresentingtheday’sfreshcreations.Myeyesfallovertheseeminglyendlessoptions:sweetandsavorybuns,steamedandbakedbuns,eggtarts,mochidoughnuts,sesameballs,andSwissrolls.
Isqueezepastawomanloadinguphertraywithredbeanbunsandbendovertograbtwohamandcheesebunswithmytongs.Theylookidentical,theirbrownedtopsglossyfrombakedeggwash.IopenthecasedoordirectlyabovethehamandcheesebunstopickoutBoLoBaosforMom.Shelovesthesesweetbunsbecausetheyresemblepineappleskinwiththeirscoredyellowtops,eventhoughthere’sactuallynopineappleinthem.They’reLuckyMonkey’sbestsellingitem,soMaeYí-Póalwaysmakessuretobaketripletheamountcomparedtoothertreats.
Havingalreadymemorizedthepastryplacements,Itaketwostepstomyrightandsecurethelastbakedporkbun.Thenwithouthesitation,Iopentheplasticcasedoornexttothenow-emptytrayofmeat-filledmoundsandreachinforthelastcocktailbunforPóPo.Beforemytongsreachthepuffypastry,anotherpairoftongsswoopsinbeforemyeyestograbthesesame-seed-sprinkledtreat.
“Oops!Excuseme!”IlookoverattheoffenderwhojustswipedPóPo’sbreakfast.Iexpecttoseethewomanwiththefulltrayofredbeanbuns,butinsteadatallmanstandsbesideme.Inodtowardthecocktailbunonhistray.“Ididn’tseeyouthere,butIwasactuallyherefirst.Wouldyoumind?”
Themanlooksatmewithasurprisedexpression.“WouldImind…moving?Sure!”Hetakesacoupleofstepsbackfromthewallofcases.
“Uh,no.Thecocktailbun.It’smine.”
Themanlooksdownathispileoffood.“Ihadmytongsonitfirst.Therefore,Ihavefirstpick.It’salaw.”
“Mytongswereonthatbunbeforeyourippeditoutofmycoldmetalgrip,”Icasuallyexplain.Ieyeupthecocktailbun,thesidesstilllookingsoftfromrecentlybeingpulledapart.Acrossthesurfaceofthebun,whichisbakedtogoldenperfection,aretwowhitelinesofsweetcream.
“That’squitethedramaticretellingofwhatjusthappened.I’dlovetohearyourversionofwhathappenswhenIkeepthebun.”Themansmiles,hischeekspushingcrinkledlinesuparoundhisdelightedeyes.
Igesturewithmytongstosignifymypersonalspace.“Iwasclearlyherebeforeyou.”
Themanraisesbotheyebrows.“Ifyoumovetooslowly,youmissout.What’sthatsaying?Ifyou’rebrowsingforfun,youdon’tgetthebun.”
“Ithinkitactuallygoes:Whenyoucutmeoff,thingsaregoingtogetrough,”Iretort,slightlyamused.
“Mmm,nope,”hesays,“haven’theardofthatone.”
“Yousee,it’smypópo’sbirthday,andifIdon’tgetherthatcocktailbun,well,I’llbeadisappointmenttoher.Youwouldn’twantthatforme,right?”Iasksweetly.Ilookintothelightshadingofhisdeep-seteyes,andforamoment,I’matalossforwhatcolortheyare.
“HowdoyouknowthatI’mnottakingthisbuntomypópo?”themanasks.HisuseoftheChinesetermformaternalgrandmothersurprisesme.
“Youhaveapópowhoalsohappenstobeobsessedwithcocktailbuns?”Iasksuspiciously.
“Actually,mypópopreferseggtarts.She’sgotathingforpuffpastryandbutter,”hereplies,glancingoveratthecasesnexttous.“Butthat’sbesidethepoint.”
BeforeIcanmakemyrebuttal,ayoungboypushespastmetosnatchthelastSwissrolloutofthecase.“Great,theregoesthelastone!”Ishout,lookingatthevacantplatterandthrowingmyhanduptooveremphasizemydistress.Maybethisapproachwillwork.
“IcantellyouneedthisbunmorethanIdo.Ifyoureallywantit,”hesays,“wecanmakeatrade.”
“Atrade?”Mypulsebeginstorace.Hiseyecolorisonthetipofmytongue
“Yes.Agoodold-fashionedbarter,”hesays,lookingentertained.Hestudiesmewithhiscolor-I-can’t-quite-placeeyes,unnervingme.There’sasoulfuldepthtothemthatdrawsmein,makingmeforgetwhyI’mstaringathiminthefirstplace.
Themanclearshisthroat,andIrefocus.“Sure.YoucanhavemyBoLoBao,andI’lltakeyourcocktailbun,”Ioffer.Imakeamoveformyprize,butthemangentlyclutchesmywristwithhistongs,guidingmyarmbacktomytray.
“Whoa,holdon!Nodeal.There’sstillapileofthose.IcouldgrabfiveofthemrightnowifIwantedto.Therefore,yourtradeisworthless,”hesays.
Onthetray,hehastwoslicesofSwissrolls(onerainbowandonevanilla),aChinesehotdogbun,twocurrybeefpuffs,andmycocktailbun.
“Youclearlyhaveanagenda,”Isay,“sowhatisityouwant?Hamandcheese?Theylookextradeliciousthismorning.”
Themanvocalizeshisthinkingwithahmmm.“Thecocktailbunforyourporkbun,”hefinallyoffers.
Ihesitateandlookdownatwhatwasgoingtobemybreakfast,fullyknowingit’sthelastporkbun.“YourcocktailbunandSwissrollformyporkbun,”Isayfirmly,throwinginacurveball.“That’smyfinaloffer.”
HeglancesoverattheemptySwissrollcaseandpausesbeforefinallyagreeing.“Inormallyhaveaninety-twopercentsuccessratewithnegotiations.ThisishandsdowntheworstdealI’veevermade,butI’mimpressedbyyourbargainingskills,soyou’vegotyourselfadeal.”
“AndIwantthevanillaone,”Iadd,studyinghim.Hehasakindface,hisquick-to-smiledemeanordisarmingme.Onhisupperrightcheekisasmallcoffee-coloredbeautymark.
“What’sthedifference?I’mprettysuretherainbowSwissrolltasteslikevanilla,too,”hesays,pokingthedessertwiththesilverutensil.“Howdoyouknowthisone’sbetter?”
“It’snotthatit’sbetter.Ijusthaveaparticularpreferenceforthegoldenone,”Isayflatly,holdingmytrayouttowardhim.
“Whateveryouwant.”Adimpledsmilespreadsacrosshisface.Ibarelymanagetopullmygazeawayfromthedeepening,shadowedspots.Ibetthosedimpleshavebrokenheartsbefore.
HeplacesthecocktailbunonmytrayandhesitantlygrabshisSwissrollwithhistongs,lookingpainedtobepartingwithit.“Goodbye,newfriend.Itwasnicealmostenjoyingyou.”ThemanplacesthesliceofSwissrollontomytrayand,inthesamesmoothmovement,grabstheporkbun.
“Enjoythat,”Imurmur.Ican’thelpbutsmile.
“Nicedoingbusinesswithyou,”hesays,snappinghistongsplayfullylikelobsterclaws.
Asnortedlaughsneaksout.Themangivesaslightwavebeforeheadingtotheregister.Igrabafewmorebakedgoodsbeforepaying,lingeringawhilesothemancanleaveandsomyheartcanstopfluttering.
WhenIpushthedooropen,IrealizeIdidn’twaitlongenough.Themanfromthebakeryloitersonthesidewalk,staringathiscellphone.Thedamnbellsabovethedoorjingle,betrayingmebygivingupmylocation.
BakeryGuylooksupatme.“Youbackforanotherbarter?”heaskswithapleasedlook.
Ilifttheheavybagoffood.“Idohavemoreleveragenow.”
Webothturninthesamedirection.
“I’mnotfollowingyou,butIhavetogothesameway,”Isaywithanawkwardlaugh.
Theman’shairisalightershadeofbrownthanitlookedinthebakery’syellowfluorescentlights.Isneakalookathiseyesoncemore.Hazel.Hiseyesarehazel.Inthesunshine,Iseethatthere’safleckofgoldaroundthepupils.Hestretchestoadjusthisposture,hisshouldersbroadeningandexpandinghisevergreen-coloredpolo,whichlookssoftfromyearsofwear.Hecomesoffassomeonewhowantstoremainlow-keybutstillappearputtogether.
“Noproblem,”hesays,slidinghissunglasseson.
Iwalkathispacebutstayaboutsixfeettotheright.
“Whatbringsyououtherethisearly?”BakeryGuyasks,fillingthesilence
“Pickingupbreakfast.ImeantitwhenIsaidIwasbringingfoodformypópo’sbirthday.Youalmostdeniedaninety-year-oldwomanherfavoritebun.”
Theman’seyeswiden.“Yikes.She’sluckytohaveaclevergranddaughtertowinitback.”
Igrintomyself.“Whataboutyou?”
“Ijusthadtopickupsomethingfrommyofficedowntown.Iliketograbbreakfastheresometimes.We’relookingforofficesintheareasincecoworkingspacesareexpensive.”
“OnaSaturday?Yourbossmustloveyou,”Isay.
BakeryGuylooksoveratme.“Workneverreallyshutsoffforus.”
Inodslowly.“Chinatown’sreallychanging.Ican’timagineyourcoworkingspaceismoreexpensivethanhere.”
“Atleastherethere’sroomfornegotiation,”hesayswithasmirk.
“Ihopeyourfuturenegotiationsgobetterthantoday,”Isay,thinkingaboutMaeYí-Pó’swarningofvultures.
Mystomachgrumbleslouderforbreakfast,andIdigaroundmytotebagforthevanillaSwissrollandafork.Ipiercetheroll,breakingoffabitewithanevenratioofcakeandfilling.Fromtheweightofthebuns,mytoteslipsdownmyshoulder,sendingmyarmoffbalance.Thevanillarollwobblesprecariouslyasmyarminstinctivelyreactstostabilizemybag.
BakeryGuyisquicker.Heclosesthedistancebetweenusandreachesouttograbmycanvasbag.Hishandbrushesagainstmyforearm,sendingunanticipatedtinglesupthelengthofmyneck.Heslidesthetoteupsmoothly,cautiouslymovingmyhairbacksoitdoesn’ttugunderthehandles.
Mycheekswarm.I’matalossforwords.Somethingresembling“thanks”stumblesoutofmymouth.
“Can’trisklosingthatroll,too,”hesayswithasmile.“Mindmeaskingyourname?”
Iglanceovermyshoulderandlookhimupanddown.“MyfriendscallmeLiv,”Isay.“Whatdoyourfriendscallyou?”
“Youhavenicefriends.Minecallmeasshole,”hesayswithajokingtone.BakeryGuyreachesintohisplasticbagandpullsouthisownvibrantSwissrollslice.Slingingthehandlesofthebagontohisforearm,heuseshispalmasamakeshiftplate.“I’mgoingtoopenthis.CanIcountonyounottotrytoswipethisone,too?I’mreallyhungry.”
There’snothinginthismomentIwantmorethantoalsotakethatrollfromhim,justtoproveapoint.Obviously,Iwon’t.Plus,hisboyishexcitementforhisSwissrollistooendearing.Inod,andhestartsunrollingtheswirlysliceintoaflattenedcakelayer.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Iask,perplexed.
“Whatdoyoumean?”heasks.
Inodtowardhishands.“That!”
“I’meatingmybreakfast?”hesays.Theconfusiononhisfaceispriceless.
“Thiscakerequiresdelicaterollingtoachievetheperfectspiral,”Iexplain.
“Really?”BakeryGuyuseshisforkandgentlyscrapesoffthefillingfromthecenterofthenow-flattenedspiral.
“Ididnotjustseeyouscoopthefillingout,”Igroan.Thecolorsoftherainbowcakeglowinthemorninglight,thesidesbendingupandlookingsadtonotbelivingtheirfullspiralpotential.
Themanscrapes,eats,scrapes,eats.“Didyouseethat?”heasksplayfully
“Thecakeandfillingaremeanttobeenjoyedtogether,soyouhaveanequalratioofcreamyfillingtochiffoncake.Andtheirflavorsarecomplementarytooneanother.”
“Ilikeeatingthesweetestpartofthedessertfirst,”heexplains,takinganotherbiteofthesweetcream.“Iknowit’sabitdifferent,butIlikedifferent.”
Mylipsliftintoasmile.“Justforfun,or…?”
“Ilikeknowingthatthefirstbitesofmymealwillbegood.Andthisway,IknowI’llhaveroomforit.Don’tjudgeme!”hesaysdramatically.
“Whenyoudosomethinglikethat,you’rebeggingtobejudged,”Isaywithalaugh.“I’mjusttryingtounderstandwhatmotivatesapastrythieftodosuchathing.”Iwiggleanotherwell-balancedbiteoffmyroll.
BakeryGuyletsoutafull,genuinelaugh.It’sawarmsoundthatunexpectedlyandinstantlyputsmeatease.Heshrugsandthentakesanotherbiteoffilling.“I’venevermetanyonesopassionateaboutbakedgoods,”hesaysbeforedivingintothecakeitself.
“Ienjoyandrespecttheprocessofbaking.Anditde-stressesme.Well,normally.Swissrollsaretricky.I’mstilltryingtofigureouthowtorollthecakewithoutitcracking.”
“Onceyougetthehangofit,youcankeepyourhandsoffmyrolls,”hesayshumorously,hischeeksturningrosy.“Whatelsedoyouliketobake?”
Wewalksidebyside,thecrowdaroundusgrowing.Abicyclistbarrelsdownthesidewalkinfrontofus,weavingthroughpeoplejumpingoutofhisway.Withoutthinking,IreachupandplacemyhandonBakeryGuy’sshoulder,guidinghimoutoftheman’sunpredictablepath.Hefeelswarmandsturdy,hisshoulderssculptedbutnotsomuchthatI’dthinkhespendseveryoff-houratthegym.Ishouldnotknowthis.Iimmediatelypullmyhandback,crossingmyarmstightly.
“Youmight’vejustsavedmylife,”hequips.
“Allinamorning’swork,”Irespondwithasmile.Isqueezemyhandthattouchedhimintoafist.Irememberhisquestionandtrytopicktheconversationbackupsmoothly,asthoughIhadn’tjustcaressedhisshoulder.“AsforwhatIliketobake,um,anythingwithchocolatelikecookiesorbrownies.Cinnamonrolls.Sourdoughbread.”
Themannods.“Verynice.Didyouknowthatsourdoughistheoldestformofleavenedbread?FoodhistoriansbelievethattheuseofleaveningwasdiscoveredbytheEgyptians.Untiltherewascommercialyeast,allleavenedbreadusednaturallyoccurringyeasts.”
“I…whydoyouknowthat?”Ilookupathim,amused.
“Ilovelearningabouthistory.MostlysoIcanwhipoutinterestingfactsandsoundsmartatparties.”Hegrins.
“I’msuretheserandomfactscomeinhandywhenyou’retryingtoimpresstheladies,”Isay,lookingawayandrollingmyeyesatmyself.Theladies?DidIjustsaythatoutloud?
“Rarely,”hesays.“Onlywhenthere’ssomeoneworthtryingtoimpress.”Hegivesmealingeringlook,andnowIblush.
Wecurvearoundtouriststakingphotosandlinesofworkerswaitingfortheirbreakfastorders.Sixminuteslater,IrealizeI’vecompletelybypassedmycar.
Islowmysteps.“I’mthatway,”Isay.
“Therealworldcalls.MaybeI’llseeyouaround?”heaskstentatively.
Ipullmysunglassesofftogetonelastgoodlookathim.“Maybe…ifyou’reevenabletoaffordofficespacehere,”Isay.
BakeryGuytakesastepclosertomeandpusheshissunglassesabovehishead.“Thenlet’shopepricesaren’ttoohigh,”hesayswithasmile.
Mypulsequickensatthenearnessofhim.IlookdownathischesttoconfirmthatI’mjustimaginingtheelectricfieldvibratingbetweenourbodies.
“Itwasnicemeetingyou,asshole,”Isaywithasmirk,sneakingonelastglanceathishazeleyes.
BakeryGuyraiseshiseyebrows,hisstartledlooktransformingintoathroatylaugh.“Meetingyouwasaverynicesurprise.”
Ireorientmyselfandwalkbacktomycar,reflectingonourinteraction.AsIthinkbackonBakeryGuy’straits,Icometoahorrifyingrealization:Forthefirsttimeinmyentirecareerofbeingamatchmaker,Ididn’tthinktoconsiderthisman’szodiacanimalsignforasinglesecond.Chapter2
Istandinmyparents’kitchenwithaboxofmatchesinhand,replayingthismorning’sexchangewithBakeryGuy.Isnapoutofmydazeandgivethegianthorse-shapedcakeIbakedforPóPo’sninetiethbirthdayonemorelookover.It’ssaltedcaramelchocolate—myspecialtyandPóPo’sfavorite.Atthreefeetwideandtwofeetlong,theplattertakesuptheentirekitchenisland.Shapingthecaketolooklikeahorsewasnoeasyfeat,butgiventhatPóPoisYearoftheHorse,likeme,Ithoughtitwouldbeaspecialandmemorabledesserttohonorher.Thehorseliesflatwiththreelayersofchocolatecake,twolayersofchocolateandcaramelfrosting,andanouterlayerofchocolatefrostingsprinkledwithjusttherightamountofseasalt.
Iwiggletheninetiethcandleintothecakeandpullamatchfromitssmallbox.Istrikeitonce.Twice.Nospark.
“I’musuallyalotbetterwithmatches,”IjoketoAuntieLydia,who’spreoccupiedwithtamingstrayhairsbackintohershoulder-lengthbobinthereflectionofafryingpan.Atsixty-six,shestillhasflawless,glowingskin.HeryouthfulnessandeleganceremindmeoftheactressJoanChen.
“Youjusthavetoswipeitright.Isn’tthatwhattherageisallaboutnowadays?”Auntiequips.There’sahintofbitternessinhervoice.Likeme,shebelievesinthepowerofapersonallymadematch,notonemadethroughacellphone.
Asparkignitesatthetipofthematch,andIquicklymovefromcandletocandle.Afewmatcheslater,IlightthelastcandlewhiletryingtorememberwhereDadtoldmehekeepsthefireextinguisher.
AuntieandIcarefullycarrytheflaminghorsethroughthediningroom’sslidingdoorstothebackyardwherethepartyisinfullswing.Withoverfiftypeopleinattendance,it’spracticallyaHuangfamilyreunion.PóPo’ssisters,children,nieces,nephews,grandchildren,andcloseclientscamefromallovertheworld—China,England,France,SouthAfrica,NewYork,Texas,andWashington—tojoinusinPasadena,California,forherspecialday.
MomandDadtransformedtheirtwo-thousand-square-footbungalowforthebirthdayparty,usingthebackyardasthefestivity’sstompinggrounds.AndbecausePóPo’sbirthdayusuallyfallswithinrangeoftheMoonFestival,shepreferstocelebratebothatthesametime.Undervibrantred-and-goldglobepaperlanterns,crescentmoonballoons,andstringlights,familyandfriendsholdcooldrinksandclusteringroups.Whentheyseeuswiththecake,everyoneinunisonstartssingingthefirstlowchordoftheHappyBirthdaysong.Wesoundlikeanoff-keychorus.
Guestsparttocreateapathwayforusaswenavigatearoundwoodenfoldingtablesdecoratedwithbudvases.Thechorusgrowslouderasthekidsandtheoneswhoweretooshytojoininatfirstcontributetheirvoices,beltingoutthewordswithenoughgustotomakeAndreaBocelliproud.
WhenwefinallyreachPóPo,myheartswellswithemotion.Delighted,PóPogrinsfromeartoearandplacesahandoverhercheek.Whenshesmiles,herentirefacelightsup,thecreasesaroundhertwinklingeyesdeepening.
AuntieandIsetthecakeonthetableinfrontofPóPo,herfaceilluminatedbythefire.Asexpected,afewsingersgorogueandchangethesong’sending,butPóPoclapsalonganyways.IgivePóPoasidehug,andwelinkpinkiesandpressourthumbstogether.It’sagesturewe’vebeendoingeversinceIcouldformafist,asapromisethatourloveforeachotherwillneverchange.Idon’tknowwhoI’dbewithoutherinmylife.
PóPocloseshereyesforafewmoments,waxslowlydrippingdownontothetoplayerofthecake,givingthehorse’scoatahealthysheen.Sheblowsoutthecandles,restingbetweeneachextinguishingtocatchherbreath.Everyoneburstsintocheersandclapswhensheputsoutthefinalflame.Imakesomenoiseforthewomanwhosepastdecisionshaveprovidedmewithmyfuture.
AfterPóPomakesherwish,AuntieandIcarrythehorsecaketothewinner’scircle,convenientlylocatedatthedesserttable.MomstrategicallyplacedthedesserttablebyherbloomingrosessoSānPóPo,oneofPóPo’ssisters,couldadmireherhandiwork.Thesweetscentoftheflowerswaftsupinthelightbreeze.Besidethecakearetraysof
DadturnsPóPo’smoon-themedplaylistbackonandFrankSinatra’s“FlyMetotheMoon”blastsfromtheoutdoorspeakers.PóPoslowlywaltzesherwayovertome.She’stheproudleaderofthelocalsenior-citizendanceteamandfindseveryopportunityshecantoshowoffhermoves.Sheholdsuptwosidewayspeacesignsinfrontofhereyesandpullsthemapart.Iextendmyarmdiagonallyuptotheskywithadiscofingerandthenbringitdownacrossmybody
“Areyouready?”PóPowhispers.Sheadjuststhecornflowerbluevestshe’swearingoverherwhitepolo,hersignaturedaytimelook.Hershorthairisfreshlywavedfromhairrollers,astyleshe’spreferredfordecades.“I’mgoingtomaketheannouncementafterthecakeisserved.”
“Ithinkmostpeoplealreadyknow,PóPo.Wasitsupposedtobeabigsecret?”
“Aiyah!IguessIshould’veexpectedthenewstospread.ThisistheHuangfamily,afterall.Norespect,evenatninety-oneyearsold.”PóPolaughsandreachesouttorubarose’ssoftblushpetal.“Ahwell,I’llstillgivealittlespeech.It’llbenice.”
“PóPo,you’reninety!Notninety-one,”Isay,holdinghergentlybybothshoulders.
PóPogivesmeasubtlewink.“WhenIwasborninChina,childrenwereconsideredtobeoneyearoldatbirth.Thatwouldmakemeninety-one,butyes,let’sgowithninety.Oh,Liv?Thecake.It’shilarious.Thankyou.CanIputinanearlyrequestforaunicornnextyear?”
“They’rebecominghardertofind,butifthat’swhatyouwant,Icanmakeithappen,”Isaywithamock-serioustone.
Shepushesaloosestrandofmydarkbrownhairbehindmyearandtakesamomenttostudymyface.“Whydoyoulooksoradiant?You’repracticallyglowing!”
Ibringahandtomycheek.“AmI?Well,I’mexcitedabouttoday!”
“Fortheannouncement?”sheasksprobingly.
“Whatelse?”Isaycasually,fiddlingwithaplasticfork.I’mdefinitelynotglowingbecauseofBakeryGuy.Thatwouldberidiculous.Idon’tevenknowhissign.
“Okay.Well,good.”PóPonodsslowly.“Ah,beforeIforget,there’ssomeoneIthinkyou’llwanttomeet.ShouldIsetupadate?”
It’soneofPóPoandAuntie’sfavoritepastimestointroducemetopeopletheythinkImightwanttomeet.Really,they’reyoungmentheywantmetomeet.
“Doyoureallythinknowisthebesttimeformetobedating?”Iask.“There’sgoingtobetoomuchtodowithLunarLove.”
PóPonarrowshereyesatme.“We’llrevisitthislater.Auntiealsohassomeoneyoumightlike.Choicesareneverabadthing!Onewayoranother,weneedtogetyoumatched,”shesaysbeforefluffingherhairandtwirlingofftofindmorefamilymemberstocharm.
Ipluckthemeltedcandlesoutofthehorseandsmoothovertheicing.WhenIcutintothecake,itbecomesapparentthatthislooksverywrong.Initsentirety,thecakelookedgreat.Dismembered,notsomuch.Idividethetailintosixpieces,placingeachoneontosmallroundpaperplates.Ilinetheplatesupnexttoeachotherandattempttore-createtheshapeofthehorsesothatitdoesn’tlooklikeabunchofbodypartsscatteredonthetable.
Abracelet-coveredarmjinglespastmetograbhalfahoof.Withoutneedingtolook,IsmellAlisha’sgardeniaperfumeandknowit’sher.AlishaLin,myco-matchmakeratLunarLove,alwayslooksputtogetherinstylishclothing.Shesweepsherlong,darkbrownhairovertotheside,thecurlscascadingoverhershoulders.EversinceAlishawashiredatLunarLovethreeyearsago,she’squicklybecomeoneofmyclosestfriendsandconfidants.
RandallZhu,LunarLove’sfinance,admin,legal,andhumanresourcesteamsallwrappedintoone,followscloselybehind.RandalljoinedasaninternaroundthetimePóPoretiredandworkedhiswayup,soheknowspracticallyeverythingthereistoknowaboutLunarLove.
AlishaandRandalldeeplyinhalethechocolate-on-chocolatecakescent.“YourPóPoismajorgoals.Shedoesn’tlookadayoverseventy.What’shersecret?”Alishaasks.
“Full-moonmilkbaths,redwine,anddarkchocolate,”Ireveal.
“I’mlactoseintolerant,butI’vegottheothertwocovered,”Alishajokes
“It’sworking.Youdon’tlookadayoverthirty-three,”Randallsays,teasingAlisha.
“Thesedaysittakesskilltoactuallylookyourage,”shesayswithamock-defensivetone.Alishatakesabiteofcakeandgroans.“Thisisperfect.Nottoosweet.”
“Yeah,”Imumble,halfmymindstillstuckonthemanfromthismorning.Whyisthishappening?
Randalltakesastepbackandshootsmeaconcernedlook.“Areyouokay?YoufeelingnervousaboutyourfirstdayasHeadMatchmakeronMonday?It’llbefunsincewehavethatconferencetoattend.”
“I’mnotnervous!Youknowthat’smyfavoriteeventoftheyear,”Isay.Itrytofindthewordstoexplainwhathappenedthismorning,buttheyjumbleinmyhead.Imetamanisallthatcomesout.
Alishagasps.“Ooh,whoishe?”
“No,it’snotlikethat.Itwasatthebakery.HetookPóPo’scocktailbun,Imadeatradeforit,andheworksdowntown.That’sreallyallthereistoknow.”
Alisha’seyesglimmerasshecloselywatchesmyface.“Whatsignishe?”
Ifiddlewiththecakeserver.“Ididn’taskforhisbirthdayoranalyzehimthatclosely,”Iadmit.
“Youdidn’tanalyzehim?”Alishaasks.Herwidenedeyesareasroundasfullmoons.“Idon’tbelieveyou.”
“Ididn’texpecttobeengaginginnegotiationsthismorning,”Isay.“Itcaughtmeoffguard.”
“Okay,well,whatwerehistraits?Couldhebeacandidateforoneofourclients?Let’sdebrief,”Alishasays,takinganotherbiteofcake.“Yousaidyoumadesomekindoftrade?Maybehe’salawyer.”
Icrossmyarms.“Let’ssee.He’soverconfidentandengagesinsocialbehaviorsthatarealittletooforwardformytaste.HetoldmehelikestogotoLuckyMonkeyforbreakfast,butheworksallthewaydowntown,whichindicatesthatheputshisneedsbeforehiscompany’s.Yes,hewaseventuallycharmingandwassurprisinglygood-looking.Hehadstunningeyes.Hazel!Well-dressed.Butheprobablyknowsthat,andinarelationship,he’dlikelywanttobetoldthosethings.Iwouldn’ttellhimwhatheneededtohear;we’dfightaboutit.”
Withoutstoppingforabreath,Iadd,“Icanseeitnow:Acoupleofmonthsintotherelationshiphe’dbefrustratedthatIpreferdoingthingsthewayIwanttodothem.I’dbeannoyedthathecan’tsitquietlywithhimselfandthatnoteverythingcanbeanegotiation.Thatkindofdependency,pairedwithmyneedforalonetime,wouldneverwork.”
AlishaandRandalllookstunnedforamoment.Thentheyfinallybreakthesilencebyclappingagainsttheirplates.“Youcontinuetoimpressus.Butwhosaidanythingaboutarelationship?”Alishasays,wigglinghereyebrows.
“Oh,Ididn’tmeanrelationship.They’rejustalwaysonmymindforourclients,”Ihurriedlyreply,fumblingovermywords.“YouknowhowIfeelaboutbeingmatched.”
Shesighs.“Right,ofcourse.You’rethematchmakerwhocan’tbematched.”
Ishrug.Iknowhowpeoplewillact—andhowthingswillturnout—becauseIknowtheirtraitsonadeeplevel.I’veacceptedmyfate.Foreveryoneelsethough,there’shope.
“Bytheway,weweredebriefingabouthim.Youbroughtyourselfintothis,”Randalladdswithagooeysmile.
“Iwasjusttryingtoputitintocontext.Enoughabouthim,”Iadddefensively.
Alishawagsherfingerinthought.“You’reright.Enoughabouthim,moreaboutyou.Mondayiscomingup,andweneedtogetyououttheremore.Podcasts,listicles,interviewswithyoungprofessionals–typestuff.You’rethenewfaceofLunarLove.Let’sshowtheworldthat.Maybethemedia,andayoungerclientele,willfinditinterestingthatthenewownerofLA’soriginalzodiacmatchmakingcompanyisagorgeousyoungwoman.”
“That’sexactlywhatweshoulddo.Trytoreachayoungermarket,”Iagree.
“IhaveacontactatWhizDash.They’vebecomereallypopular.I’llletherknowthatwewanttogetsomethinguponthewebsite,”Alishasays.Shecramstherestofhercakesliceintohermouth,lickingthecrumbsoffherlipsalongwithsomeofherberry-coloredlipstick.“Ifyouwanttowritesomething,Icansendittoher.”
“I’llstartthinkingofarticleideas,”Itellher,ideasimmediatelyfloodingmymind.
“Perfect.I—ooh!Randall,there’sAuntVivienne!”Alishasays,becomingdistractedbymyauntacrosstheyard.“Shehasthatlistofartdocumentariesforustowatch.Liv,we’llcatchyouinabit!”Thetwoofthemshufflethroughthegrass,leavingmealonewithmythoughts.
Mysister,Nina,catchesmyattentionfromtheoutdoordiningtable,andIrushovertoher.Herarmsarefilledwithbowlsandplatesstackedonalargeplatterwhere,justanhourago,eightPekingduckssatamongsteamedbuns,cucumbers,greenonions,andhoisinsauce.Mymouthwatersatthememoryofalltheflavorsmeltingtogether.Icantellshe’sstressedbythethinlayerofsweatformingonherupperlip.
“Doyouneedhelp?”Iask,extendingmyarmstoassist.
“So.Many.Dishes,”Ninahuffs,keepingthepiletoherself.“Momwantsthemcleanedbeforethebigannouncement.”SheliftsherelbowsashighasshecanasIfanherwithmyhandstocoolherdown.“It’sOctober!I’llnevergetusedtothefactthatit’sstilleightydegreesinautumn.”
“It’sonlygoingtokeepgettinghottereveryyear,”Imumblebleakly.
Ninastickshertongueoutandadds,“Ican’twaitformyCookieDaywhenIwon’thavetodoanyofthis.Enjoytheview.You’relookingatyourfuture.”
“I’mgoingtobeasweatybride-to-bewithhoisinsauceonmyshirt?”Iask.Webothstartcrackingup.
“IneedtogetbacktherebeforeImakeascene.Savemeapieceofcake.Andifyouseemyfuturehusband,tellhimtorefillthejasminetea.”Sheslowlywalkstowardthekitchen,carefullybalancingtheremainsofthisafternoon’smeal.
IgrabasliceofcakeforNinaandretraceherstepstothekitchen.IswingthekitchendooropentofindmydadleaningoverthesinkwithhisheadturnedtowardasmalltelevisionunderthecabinetsfeaturingrerunsofSeinfeld.ThestackofdishesNinabroughtinlooksuntouched.MyfootstepsstartleDad,andhejolts,hishandsquicklyresumingpositionwiththescrubber.Heliftsaplateoutofthebubblywaterandstartsmovingthebrushcounterclockwiseinefficientstrokes.
“Arethereanyleftovers?”Iask,hopefulforahoney-glazedprawn.
“Oh,hi,sweetie.Ithoughtyouwereyourmother.”Hiseyesshiftbacktothescreen,andheabsentmindedlydropstheplateintothesink.“Ithinkthere’sabitofbroccolileft.Andbirthdaynoodles.OrmaybeIalreadyatethose.”
“WhydoIhearsomuchchatterwhenIshouldhearmorescrubbing?”Momasksasshesetsemptycupsandwinebottlesontothekitchenisland.Hereyesshiftovertothepileofdirtydishes.Dadpickstheplateoutofthewaterasquicklyashedroppedit,hiseyesnowgluedtothedish.ThoughonlyfivefootthreecomparedtoDad’ssix-foot-threeframe,Mom’stheonewhocommandstheroom.
Dadhangshishead,astrandofsandybrownhairfloppingoverhisface,andspeaksinthevoiceofanomniscientnarrator.“Atthatmoment,Martylookedatthosedishes,notasapileofporcelainandstainlesssteel,butasadirectrepresentationofthefailurethatishislife.”Heliftsadirtysoupbowlfromthedishmound.
MomandIlookateachotherandshakeourheads.Dadfindsjoyinmakingpeoplelaughbyoccasionallyspeakingasthoughhe’swritingascript.Forhim,itcomeswiththeterritoryofbeingascreenwriter.
“Thedessertportionoftheafternoonseemstobeahit,”Momsaystome.“HasSānPóPocomebyforasliceyet?”
“Isawhersneakingaroundthedesserttablewithpruningshears.”
“Haha.Veryfunny,”Momsays,checkingthetimeonherwatch.“PóPo’sgettingreadyforherspeech.Howareyoufeeling?Ifyouchangeyourmind,Icangetyououtofwhatevercontractyousigned.”Momsmilestoshowmeshe’skidding.Asapublicdefender,Momnevermeetshalfwayinanynegotiationanddeliverstoughlovelikeapro.
“Inthatcase,canyourenegotiatemysalary?”Iask.“IwantdoublewhatImakenowwithaguaranteedannualbonus.”Weshareanotherlaugh.
“Isthiscakeforme?”Dadasks,noddingtowardNina’sslice.
“Youalreadyfinishedthelastofthelong-lifenoodles.Ithinkyou’vehadenough,”Momsayswithasmuchtendernessasshecanmusterinafamilyreunionsetting.ShewrapsherarmsaroundDad’swaistandhugshimfrombehind.Tome,theyhaveamarriageI’veonlydreamedofonedayhaving.They’rerespectfulofeachother,communicative,andmostimportantly,compatible.
Ahigh-pitchednoiseringsfromtheoutside,andIfollowmyparentsouttothebackyard.It’stime.
“Everyone,pleasegatheraround.Closer!”PóPoshoutstothegroup.Shestandsinfrontofthebackyard’scircularfirepitaseveryoneslowlyformsaU-shapearoundher.PóPotapsherglasswiththeedgeofherknifeoncemore.Thegroupfallssilent.“Thankyouallformakingyourwayheretojoinmeonmybirthday.IonlywishGōngGongcouldbeherewithus.”PóPo’seyesbecomeglossy.“Thisentiredayhasbeenaboutme.I’mtiredofmeatthispoint,andIknowyouare,too.”Politelaughterripplesthroughtheair.
“Nǐzhǔnbèihǎolema?”PóPoasksAuntie.
Auntielingersforamoment.ThenshegivesaquicknodandjoinsPóPo.“Ready.”
“Otherthanmelastingthislong,Ihavemoregoodnews,”PóPocontinues.“WhenIfirststartedLunarLove,Icouldneverhaveimagineditwouldbecomewhatithas.Aftertwenty-fiveyears,IpassedthebusinessdowntomydaughterLydia.”PóPowrapsherarmaroundAuntie’swaist.“Lydiatookoverthebusinessinthemid-ninetiesandranitforanothertwenty-fiveyears.Andnow,it’stimeforLydiatopassourbusinessontothenextgeneration.Olivia,mygranddaughter,willbeLunarLove’snewguardianCupid.”
PóPoandAuntiesignalformetojointhem.Myheartbeatsfasterasafewheadsinthecrowdturntolookinmydirection.Themomentisn’tlostonme.PóPocoordinatedthetimingoftheannouncementsothattheentirefamilycouldbeheretowitnessnotonlyherbirthdaybutLunarLove’semergenceintoanewera.Istandupstraighterknowingpeoplearewatching.
“Ithasbeenmylife’sgreathonortocarrymymother’slegacyalltheseyears,”Auntiesaysemotionally,dabbingthecornerofhereyeswithapapernapkin.“Hervisionhaslastedoverfivedecades.Thatisatruetestamenttoherideas,herworkethic,andwhosheisasaperson.WebothfeelcomfortedknowingthatLunarLovewillbeingreathands.”
PóPopositionsmebetweenherandAuntie.“Truthfully,therehavebeenmorethanafairshareofchallengeslately,”shesays.“Itseemsyoungpeoplethesedayshavegreatertrustintheirphonestofindthemtruelovethanexperiencedmatchmakers,butafteralltheseyears,Iknowinmyheartthatit’sjustagrowingpain.Aphase.”PóPograbsmyhand.“ItgoeswithoutsayingthatLivwilldoanexcellentjobbringingLunarLoveintothefuture.”
Igiveherhandasqueeze.Challengesisputtingitlightly.Inrecentmonths,moreclientshaveleftLunarLovecomplainingaboutthehighcostofservicesandlengthymatchingprocess.Theysaytheywanttoexploreotheroptions.Moremodernoptions.Ihavemyworkcutoutforme.
IwatchMompoursmallamountsofwhiskeyintoglassesthatDadpassesaround.
“Andnow,infollowingtradition,thisnecklaceisyours.”Auntieflipsthegoldcrescentmoonpendantbetweenherthumbandpointerfingeronelasttimebeforereachingbehindhernecktounfastenthedanglinggoldchain.I’mbeamingwithexcitement,andinthismoment,Iallowmyselftofeelit.Theanxietycanwait.
Auntieextendsherarmstoplacethenecklacearoundmyneck.Itwistthelittlemoonbackandforthbetweenmyownfingers.ThenecklaceitselfislighterthanIimagined,buttheweightofwhatitrepresentsfeelslikeacinderblock.
BeforethisnecklacewasAuntie’s,itwasPóPo’s.SheboughtitforherselfwiththemoneyshemadefromhermatchmakingpracticeinChina,aone-womanshowatthetime.SheworethenecklacewhenshemovedfromChinatoTaiwan,andultimatelyovertoAmerica.PóPofeltproudbeingabletonotonlysupportherselfandherfamilybutcelebratehersmallbutgoodfortunewithaspecialpieceofjewelry.WhenshesuccessfullytransitionedherbusinesstoAmerica,sheattributedtheaccomplishmenttohardwork,latenights,singlemenandwomenwhowerewillingtotakeachanceonanimmigrantwhopromisedtruelove,andgoodluckintheshapeofalittlecrescentmoon.
Iturntothecrowdtosayafewwords.“I’moverthemoontobeapartofLunarLove’slegacyinthisway.AllIwanttodoismakePóPoandAuntie,andallofyou,proud.IamreadyandexcitedforthisnextchapterinmylifeandforLunarLove.Ifyouknowanyonewho’slookingforlove,youknowwhototalkto.”
Allthreeofusholdourglassesuptoourfriendsandfamily.Theyholdtheirshighinreturn,andwetoasttothefutureandgoodhealth.Itakeasipoftheamber-coloredliquid,notesofoakandcarameldancingonmytongue.
TearsstingmyeyesasIleanintoembracePóPoandAuntieinagrouphug.“Thankyouboth,”Iwhisper.“Forthisopportunity,forbelievinginme,foreverything.”
Anoverwhelmedlaughofdisbeliefescapesmymouth.Iabsorbeverylastdetailofthismoment,takingasecondtoappreciatehowfarthisjourneyhastakenme.StartingMonday,I’llnolongerbefollowinginthefootstepsofawell-wornpath.Anewadventurebegins,andwithallthechallengesahead,I’llbeforgingmyownpath.Icanhardlywait.Chapter3
Asamatchmaker,Istayontopofmygamebyreading(andrereading)everyEnglishbookontheChinesezodiacandbyattendingasmanyrelevanteventsasIcantostayintheknow.
Today’seventistheoneIlookforwardtomost,andit’sjustmyluckthatitfallsonmyveryfirstdayasHeadMatchmakerofLunarLove.Everyfall,theannualMatchedwithLoveSummittakesplaceinLosAngeles.Theday-longconferencecapturesthemagicofnewbeginnings,optimism,andunspokenwhatifs.Ifyou’reamatchmaker,it’sthequeenofallconferences.Thousandsofmatchmakers,behavioralscientists,CEOs,marketers,andinvestorsfromaroundthecountryattendtolearnaboutthestateoftheindustry,howtoincreaseprofits,andthesciencebehindattraction.Basically,wegathertotalkallthingsloveandmatchmaking.
Thisyear,MatchedwithLoveisbeinghostedontheoutskirtsofChinatown,whichLunarLovehascalledhomeforthelastfiftyyears.Thespeakerofthisafternoon’ssession,Dr.AnnieGoodman,pacesbackandforthonlayeredcarpetsatthefrontoftheeventspace.Rowsofchairsfacingherarelinedupneatlyintheoutdoorverandaofanindustrialwarehousethat’sbeenpaintedallwhite.Flowergarlandsdripfromtheoverheadbeams,castingfloralshadowsontheconcretefloorinthenaturallight.It’sallveryromantic.
“Raiseyourhandifyoubelievethatoppositesattract,”Dr.Goodmaninstructsinaloudvoice.“Andbehonest!”Withsilverhair,tortoiseshellroundglasses,andherfingerssteepledinfrontofher,Dr.Goodmanlookslikeaglamoroustherapistonlyseeninmovies.Shecommandstheroomwithherquietconfidenceasshespeaksmethodicallyaboutthepsychologyoflove.
Oppositesattract?Notachance.
Iturninmyseatnearthefront,lookingaroundatthenumberofarmsthatshootupintotheair.Inaroomoftwohundredprofessionals,alittleoverhalfofthemhavetheirhandsraised.Ishakemyheadindisappointment.
“Youintheback,canyousharewithuswhyyoubelieveoppositesattract?”Dr.Goodmangesturestowardamaninaburgundylong-sleeveshirtsittingintherearofthespace.
Ianglemyheadtotrytoseewho’sspeakingwhenthemanstandstoanswer.“Differencesinpersonalitiescanmakeforinterestingrelationships,”hesays.“Onemightcallitopposite,anothermightcallitcomplementary.It’snotthatIonlythinkoppositesattract.Ijustdon’tlikelimitingwhocanbeattractedtowho.”Themanaddressestheroomashespeaks,rotatingtoseeminglymakeeyecontactwitheveryoneintheroom.
Dr.Goodmannodsherheadinslow,longdips,lookingasthoughshe’sformingherresponse.“Anddoyouthinkcomplementarypersonalitytraitshelptherelationshiplong-term?”
ThelightmakesitdifficulttoseehisfeaturesfromwhereIsit,butheappearstostandwithconfidence.“Arecentstudyshowedthatovereighty-twopercentofpeoplefoundthosewhoweretheiroppositeattractive.Ithinkthat’sbecausedifferencescreatechemistry.ThewayIseeit,there’snotalotofexcitementorroomforgrowthifpeoplearewithotherswhoarejustlikethem,”hesays,runningahandthroughhisdarkhair.
“Thankyou.Andwhataboutyou?”Dr.Goodmancradlesherchininherhandandlooksinmydirection.“Isawyoushakingyourhead.Youdon’tthinkoppositescanattract?”
Ifeeleveryone’seyesturnonme,andIholdmynotebookagainstmychestandremainseated,facingthepeopleinthefirstfewrows.“I’vepersonallyexperiencedandwitnessedwhathappenswhentwooppositescometogether,”Isay,quietlyatfirst.
Dr.Goodmanmakesanoise.“Goon.”
“It’sfunforashortperiodoftimebecausetheotherpersonisexcitingandshinyandnew,butit’slustversuslove.Ifpeoplearetoooppositeinvaluesandinterests,that’showconflicting,contentiouspartnershipsareformed.Don’tgetmewrong,I’mnotsayingthatpeoplehavetoagreeoneverysinglething,becausethat’srare.Butjustbecausepeoplehavesimilartraitsdoesn’tmeanthey’reinboringrelationships.”
“Mmhmm,”Dr.Goodmanhums.
“Myjobistofindthosesimilaritiesandflawsinclientsandpairthemwithwell-suitedmatches,”Icontinue.“Thisway,peoplecanbypassallthewonderingandinitialskepticism.I’mtherewithclientsthroughthenewmoon,Imean,thebeginningoftheirrelationshipssoIcanbetterunderstandthedynamicsoftheirinteractions.”
“Sorry,butwhoever’sspeakingrightnow,youreallydon’tthinktwooppositescanbalanceeachotherout?”thevoiceofthemanwhospokebeforemecallsout.
Iturntofacehim,buttheman’salreadyseated,hisfacelostamongthecrowd.“Onlyif—andthat’sabigif—bothpeoplearewillingtokeepthatbalanceincheckandareopentotransformation.Itwon’tjusthappen.Changeishardandrequireswork.Certainflawscanbedealbreakers,”Irespond.
“Yourpointbeingwhat?Thatoppositetraitsareflaws?”themanyellsagain
“Complementarytraitsandoppositetraitsarenotoneandthesame,”Isayloudlysothemaninthebackcanhearme.“Ifyou’relookingforexcitementinyourlifewithsomeonewhoiswildlydifferentfromyoubecauseyoucan’tbewithsomeonesosimilartoyourself,well,then,bestoflucktoyou.”
Takethat,OppositesAttractGuy.
“Andifyou’rescaredtobewithsomeonewho’stoodifferent,Irespectfullywishyouallthebest,”themansays,histoneassertivebutnotunfriendly.MyjawdropsasIfacebacktowardthefront.
“Thankyoubothforthedialogue.Iappreciatethepassion.Yougiveusalottothinkabout,”Dr.Goodmansaysassherepositionsherselfbehindapodium.“Now,togobacktosomethingelsethatwasmentioned:loveversuslust.Let’sexplorethat.”SheresumesherpresentationwhileItakenotes.
Afterthesession,ImeetupwithAlisha.Whilewaitingforher,Iwatchasattendeesshakehands,embraceinhugs,andtaptheirphones.Islidemyfingersdownmyheart-patternedlanyardandadmirethedanglingglossybadgeprintedwithmynameandfancynewtitle.
I’veplayedCupidforoverthreehundredclients.It’sabeautifulthingwhentwopeoplecometogetherfromvariouscornersoftheworldandarematchedbasedontheirtrulycomplementarypersonalitytraits,justasthemoonandEarthcomplementoneanother.Withasmanypeopleasthereareoutthere,findingyourpersoncanbeoverwhelming,tosaytheleast.
Ilovecreatingloveandseeingrelationshipsgofromasparktoaragingbonfire.Sure,sometimesthefiregoesoutinrelationships,butsometimes,evenafterafewmissteps,theembersstillglowhot,andthefireremainsinasteadystateofpotential,needingjustasinglegustofairtoreignite.It’sallpartoftheprocessoffindingandfallinginlove.
Alishastartlesmewhenshesweepsherarmaroundmyshoulder.
“Happyfirstday!ThatshouldreallysayCLO!”shesaysinasingsongytone.“ChiefLoveOfficer.Howdoyoufeel?”
Ilaughandnodmyheadtowardabouquetofoverfilledgiantheartballoons,theglisteningredfoilpracticallyburstingattheseams.“Likethat.I’msoexcitedIcouldburst.”
Alishalaughs.“Howwasyoursession?Ilearnedaboutsomanydifferentattachmentstylesinrelationships,IfeellikeIjustgotoutoftherapy.”
“IwasputonthespotbutI’malwayseagertotalkshop,”Isay.“Readyforlunch?Randallsayshe’llmeetusthere.”
“Canyougetacoupleofquickshotsofme?Thisoutfit’sabitover-the-top,”shesays,referencingherpuffyredsleeves,“butitmatchesthecolorpaletteofmyfeed.”
WithAlisha’sphone,Isnapafewphotos,crouchinglowtocaptureeveryangle.Whenshe’snotbusymatchmaking,AlisharunsherInstagramaccountwhereshefeaturesfirst-dateoutfitsstyledandmodeledbyher.Withoverthirtythousandfollowers,Alisha’sintunewithwhat’shappeninginthesocialmediaworld.Herexpertisewillbeinvaluableforourupcomingmarketingefforts.
Westrollthroughtheoutdoorverandatothestagekitchenwherecountlesscookbookphotoshootshaveundoubtedlytakenplace.SituatednexttothelongcommunitytablesisaphotoboothwiththewordsLoveatFirstAurascrawledacrosstheside.
Thewomanattheboothgivesusawarmsmileaswepassby.“Welcome.WouldyoubeinterestedintryingLoveatFirstAura?Firstwereadyouraura,thenwefindyouamatchbasedonyourauracolor.”
Alishalooksfascinatedbytheirconcept.“Ilovehowspiritualthisis.Getin!”shesays,nudgingme.
“What!No!”Iusebothmyarmstopushoffthebooth.“Greatconcept,though!”
“Comeon!”Alishabegs.“I’llbetyou’readeepblueandviolet.Don’tyouwanttoknowwhoyou’llmatchwith?”
Ilaugh.“Goodone.Auracompatibilityisn’tquitemything.Besides,it’snotaboutme.Loveisintheair,Alisha.Canyoufeelit?”Iraisemyhandsandspinaround.
Sheraiseshereyebrowsinamusement.“Foreveryonebutyou,Isuppose.”
Ilethercommentrolloffmyback.Manymoonsago,Ididlovebeinginlove.Iusedtofallinloveeasily.Tooeasily.NowIknowbetter.I’mwiser.Morecareful.
Randallisalreadybehindthecounterpickingouthislunch,whichisstandardconferenceto-gofare,aturkeyandcheddarsandwichwithabagofchipsandanapple.Icherisheverysinglebitebecause,eventhoughthebread’sstaleandtheapple’sbruised,I’msurroundedbypeoplewhoaretryingtobringmoreloveintotheworld.Todaymightaswellbeaholidayinmycalendar.
“Thesesandwichesarecutintohearts!”Randallsays,lookingamused.Hisexpressionmorphsintoconfusion.“Whatdotheydowiththecrusts,though?Seemswasteful.”
Weeatandwander,stumblinguponthedesignatedboothsectionforonlinedatinganddigitalapps,orinotherwords,DatingPurgatory.Withnewappspoppingupallthetime,IfeelateaseknowingthatLunarLovefocusesonin-personmatchmakingwhereclientsaren’tcaughtstraddlingthefinelineofghostingorplayingthewaitinggame.Becausewe’rehands-onwithourclients,nooneiseverleftwonderingaboutthestatusoftheirlovelives.Humansdeservemorethanbeingrelegatedtonameslikeusersandbeingworthyonlyiftheycontributetodataandbottomlines.
Alisha,Randall,andIwindthroughpeoplewaitingforfreeswagfromonlinedatingappsbothbigandsmall.IhearfoundersandCEOspitchingtheirproductstothemedia,interestedcustomers,andpotentialjobcandidates.Inthemidstofthechaos,IhearthewordsChinesezodiacspokenbyapersonatoneofthebooths.IstopinmytracksasAlishabumpsintomefrombehind.Achipfliesoutofmyhandandundertheheelofaman’ssneaker.
“Oof!Areyouokay?”sheasks.“What’sup?”
“Didyouhearthat?SomeonejustsaidChinesezodiac.”
“Maybeyouwerethinkingoutloudagain,andyouheardyourselfsayit,”Randallsaysashelooksaroundthecrowdedroom.“Itwouldn’tbethefirsttime.”
“Thereitwasagain!”Isay,leadingthemclosertotherowofbooths.AsIpushmywaythroughthecrowd,Icanseejustenoughofthecompany’ssignoverpeople’sheads.
MyeyesscanoverthewordsZodiaCupid:Compatibilityisinthepersonality.
Alishagaspswhenshereadsthesign.“DoesthatsoundlikewhatIthinkitsoundslike?”
“Itcan’tbe,”Isay,tryingtogetabetterlookatthemanspeakingfromthebooth.HewearstheconfidenceofaCEOandaburgundylong-sleeveshirt.It’stheOppositesAttractGuy.
Istepclosertolistenandgetabetterlookathisface.AfeelingoffamiliaritywashesovermewhenIrealizeI’vemetthismanbefore.
“No…way,”Isayslowly.TheaircollapsesoutofmeasthoughI’mashinyheartballoonthat’sjustbeenpopped.
“We’reexcitedaboutournewappthatmatchesusersbasedontheirChinesezodiacanimalsigns,”OppositesAttractGuyannounces.
Myheartplummetsfrommychesttothebottomofmystomach.OppositesAttractGuyisnoneotherthanBakeryGuy.
“Pinchme,”Isqueak.“Ow!Ididn’tmeanbothofyou!”
“Anytime,”AlishaandRandallsay,bothofthemtransfixedontheman.
“Ican’tbelievethis.”IgrabAlishaandRandallbytheirforearms.“That’shim.That’sBakeryGuy.”
“Whichone?”Alishaaskseagerly,scanningtheroom.
“Him!Theoneinthebooth.Theguytalking!”Istareatthemanindisbelief.“Hewasso…nice.Socharming.”
“Hestillseemsniceandcharming,no?”Randallasks.
“Notanymore!Doyouthinkhewasspyingonme?”Isay,mymindracing.
Alishasnorts.“Liv,youtakingoverLunarLovehasn’tbeenannouncedyettothepublic.Howcouldhehaveknown?Besides,ifheaskedforyournumberatthebakery,thenI’dworry.Buthedidn’t,soitdoesn’tsoundlikeheknowswhoyouare.”
Herwordshitharderthantheyshould.“Uh-huh.”Ican’ttakemyeyesoffBakeryGuy.“It’snotlikeIwould’vegivenhimmynumberanyways,”Ijustify.Whydidn’theaskformynumber?Anyonlookerwould’vethoughttherewasaconnectionthere.Butwithhismagneticpersonality,heprobablyconnectswitheveryonelikethat.
BakeryGuyspeaksanimatedly,wavinghishandsaroundwhenhesharesvaguedatapointsandideas.He’scarefulnottogiveawaytoomanydetails,stickingwithlooseexplanationsofwhattheappisandhowitworks.
“Tous,compatibilityhasabroaderdefinition.We’redoingthingsabitdifferently,asyou’llsee,”heannouncestothecrowd.
Iclenchmyjaw.“Different?Differenthow?”
“Maybethey’vemadeuptwelvedifferentanimalscompletely,”Randalloffers.“IalwaysthoughtDolphinsandPandaswereunfairlyleftout.”
“AretheyseriouslycallingthemselvesZodiaCupid?”Ihuff.“Hebasicallystoletheideaofourbusinessanddigitalizedit.Hecan’tdothistoPóPo’slegacy!AndthosepoorpeopleinDigitalPurgatory!”
IcrossmyarmsandwatchasTeamZodiaCupidhigh-fiveeachotherandtossbrandedT-shirtsandziphoodiesintotheenthusedcrowd.BakeryGuy’sfeaturesdon’tlooksoappealinganymore.Instead,hejustlookssmuganddeceitful.
“Theirmarketingbudgetmustbeinsane,”Alishasays,nearlyknockingawomanoverinadesperateattempttocatchahoodieinmidair.“Ooh,thesefeellikeeco-fleece!”
“Wow,that’ssoft,”Isay,runningmyhandalongthearmofthehoodie.
“They’rejustwannabes,”Randallsays.
“Right.LunarLoveistheoriginal.Youwantqualitylove,yougotoqualitymatchmakers.Whyletanalgorithmhavesomuchcontrolwhenyoucanhaveareal,experiencedpersonthatyoucantrust?”IsayconfidentlybeforerealizingI’mstillstrokingtheeco-fleece.
Alishanods.“That’sthedamntruth.”
BakeryGuycontinueshispresentation,matchingtheenergyofthecrowdnowdeckedoutinZodiaCupidswag.“We’reinthebetatestingphase,”hesaysproudly.“Foreveryonewho’satourboothrightnow,we’regivingyouimmediatebetaaccess.JustusethecodeCHINESEZODIAC.Beingmixedrace,IhopetosharemyChineseculturewithyouallandworktowardbridgingcommunitieswithZodiaCupid.It’smyhopethatyou’lljoinusonthisjourney.”
SoBakeryGuyismixedracelikeme.
Alisha,Randall,andIimmediatelyhuddleinthecorneranddownloadZodiaCupidontoourphonesusingthebetacode.Ikeeponeearonthefounder,who’sfieldingquestionsfromthegroup.
“Thanks,everyone,foryourattention,”hesays,offeringthecrowdagiant,suck-upgrin.“Again,I’mBennettO’Brien,andwe’reZodiaCupid!”
Soundsandchatteraroundmefallaway.BennettO’Brien.Finally,BakeryGuyhasaname.Bennett.MylipstouchforabriefmomenttoformtheBofhisname.Isilentlyrepeatthewordstomyself.Ihatethewayhisnamefeelsonmytongue.
“Let’sseewhatallthehypeisabout,”Isay,focusingonthetaskathand.Itypeinthecode.MyscreenglowswithZodiaCupid’slogo,asingleconnectedlineofacursiveZ,itslastloopturningintoanarrowandpiercingthroughaheart.IaddmyfirstnameandlastinitialandafakebirthdaywithinmyHorseyearsomyanimalsigncanpopulateintothesystem.Idon’thavetoworryaboutfindingadecentphotoofmyselfsincetheappapparentlydoesn’tletpeopleuploadany.
“Ihatetosayit,butthisactuallylooksgood,”Randallsaysashetapsthroughtheapp.“It’sunbelievablehowquicklythesematcheshappen.Whattakesusdaystakesthemseconds.”
Igroan.“That’sexactlytheproblem.Instantisn’tbetter.”
Aroundus,morewomenhavegatheredtocatchaglimpseofthehandsomemanpeddlingfalsehope.
“Ireadthathe’sLA’smosteligiblebachelor.Apparentlyheuseshisownapp,”onewomansays.
“Inthatcase,maybeweshouldtrymatchingwithhim,”anotherwomanrespondswithagiggle.“Hejustmadesomelistof,like,toptenup-and-comingAsianAmericanentrepreneurs.Prettyimpressive.”
Irollmyeyesandthencontinuefillinginmyemptyprofile.AssoonasIhitSave,matchesstarttricklingin.Thatwasfast.IskimthroughtheanimalsI’mpairedwith,expectingcompatibleDogsandTigerstomyYearoftheHorse.Instead,avarietyofanimalsignsandnoisesappear.Theydon’tevenknowmybirthhour,yetthey’reprovidingmewiththiswiderangeofanimals.
“IthinkaSnakejusthissedatme,”Alishasays,stunned.
Thisisallwrong.IreturntothematchpageandcontinuescrollingtoseewhatothersignsI’vebeenpairedwith.Whilemycompatibleanimalsignsappear,therearealsoMonkeys,Pigs,Snakes,andOxen.
“IneverthoughtI’dknowwhatsoundDragonsmake,yethereweare,”Imumble.Afewmoresecondslater,aRoostercrowsatme.
“Maybethey’rebots.Orit’sthecompany’sbacksystemflatteringusersandmakingthemfeelliketheappworks.Or,”Randallsaysconspiratorially,“it’saploytostealusers’data.”
“It’simpersonalandinaccurate.Peoplewon’tfullyunderstandwhothey’rebeingmatchedwithandwhy,letalonewhattheirsignsmean.Withoutamatchmaker,peoplelosethehumanelementoffallinginlove,”Isay,tryingtosteadymyshallowbreathing.
Alishanods.“Peoplearemorecomplexthanwhattheseanimaltraitsimply,”shesays,herlipsformingatightline.“Andthere’ssomuchvarietywithineachanimalsign.”
“Welcometothetwenty-firstcentury,”Isaywithasigh.“Iguessallanimalsignswillbematchedinonewayoranotherinsteadoffollowingtradition.”Thisthoughtpainsme.“Wecan’tletthemtakeadvantageofpeoplelikethis!Maybethey’llnevermakeitthroughbetabecauseofterriblereviews.It’llbesobadthatpeoplewillrealizethatthere’salotmoretozodiacmatchmakingthansimplypairinganimalstogether.”
IwatchasthecrowdcontinuesgrowingaroundtheZodiaCupidbooth.Bennettshakeshandswithafewaudiencemembers,hisfacebeamingwithpride.Frommycorner,Icanhardlyseehisdimples,butIrememberthemsovividlythathemightaswellbestandingrightinfrontofme.
“Theirappwillcrashanddieafabulousdeathbeforeevermakingittolaunch,”Alishasnickers.
InarrowmyeyesatBennettfromacrosstheroom.“Iguesswe’lljusthavetowaitandsee.”Chapter4
Turnsout,I’mnotsogoodatwaiting.Afteralongdayofconferencesessionsandnetworking,I’mstillobsessingoverZodiaCupid.AtleastnowIhavemycat,Pinot,take-outpizza,andanactualbottleofPinot.IleanagainstmyvelvetpinkcouchinmyapartmentasPinotpurrsinmylap.Ifinishoffmyfirstglassofwine,acelebratorydrinkformyfirstdayandforremainingcalmandcollectedaboutthewholeZodiaCupiddisaster.
Mymindrecallsthetwowomen’swordsattheconferenceaboutmatchingwithBennett.Likethat’dbefun.Allhe’dprobablydoistalkabouthisbusinessnonstop,thelatestfeatures,andhowZodiaCupidisgoingtochangetheworld.That’snot…wait.
Thatcouldbeuseful.ButI’dhavetomatchwithhimfirst,andwhatarethechancesofthat?Iwouldneedtoknowwhatanimalsignheis,thoughthatprobablydoesn’tmattersinceZodiaCupidmatchesanyoneandeveryone.Ofcourse,Iwouldn’ttellhimwhoIam.Oristhatnotethical?ButifIpayforthedate?Thenit’smoreofaworklunch.Orabusinessdinner.Oraworkmeeting,orwhatever.
IfIcouldmatchwithhim,I’dtestouttheapp,goonadate,andcrushhisegosomuchthathedoesn’twanttodotheappanymore.OrIcouldbesohorriblethathe’dfeelwaryaboutsendinganyotherusersoutondateswithcompletestrangers.Ipourmyselfasecondglassofwineandswirlitaroundintheglass.
Onmyphone,ItapintoapressreleasefromtodaytoreadmoreaboutZodiaCupid.
NewDatingAppMatchesZodiacAnimalSignsTogetherByMirandaMoore/October5,2020/11:30amPT
Moveover,Cupid,there’sanewmatchmakercomingtotown.HisnameisBennettO’Brien,andhe’screatedanapptohelpothers,andhimself,findlove.InspiredbyBennett’sChineseroots,ZodiaCupidisadatingappthatpairspeoplebasedontheirChinesezodiacanimalsigns.It’scomingtoanappstorenearyouontheLunarNewYear,whichhappenstofalljusttwodaysbeforeValentine’sDaynextyear.
BasedoutofLosAngeles,ZodiaCupidiscurrentlyinbetatesting.O’Brien,LA’smosteligiblebachelorandYearoftheRat,isatech-savvyentrepreneurwhohashelpedguideotherstart-upstosuccessinhisrolesasfounder,consultant,andinvestor.
OfcoursethefounderofournewcompetitionisaRat,myexactoppositesign.Iguessitmakessense.Ratsdotendtohaveaninbornentrepreneurialsense.Clearly,he’saself-mademanandanatural-bornleader.Innormalcircumstances,HorsesandRatswouldneverbematched,butthisisZodiaCupid.Anythinggoes.
Icouldsetupadateandthenstandhimup.Noonelikestobeghosted.Butthatdoesn’thelpme.Icangoonadate,orderthemostexpensivemeal,pre-ordermydessert,headtothebathroom,andthennevercomeback.Diabolical,butnotstrategic.MaybeIcouldwriteanexposéabouthowZodiaCupidisatotalscam.They’llcallmeOliviaFarrow.
That’sit!
WithmybetaHorseprofileactivated,there’sonlyonewayin.Ijustneedtomakesomeminorchanges.Ireadthepressreleaseagainslowly,fixatingoneachandeverywordtofindonesIcanuseinmyprofiletomatchwithBennett.Ithrowinafewpersonalonessothatthealgorithmdoesn’tflagmeasabotorsomething.
Tosomeit’sunpopular,butI’masuckerfor…nightsinwithagoodbook.Baseballgamesoftpretzels.PinotNoirandpizzanights.
ThebestplaceIevertraveledwas…Rome.TheysayParisistheCityofLove,buttrueloveisactuallypasta.
I’lltryanythingonce…likeZodiaCupidandcelebratingValentine’sDay.
He’sprobablythetypeofpersonwhowouldsharethewho,what,when,where,andwhyofhisownappinhisdatingprofile.That’seasypromotion.Iwouldn’tputitpasthim.
I’llpickupthetab…ifyoucanactuallytellme,inorder,theChinesezodiacanimalsigns.
Midwaydownthescreen,apop-upboxinterruptsmyflow.
Preparethosepaintbrushes,Horses!YoushareananimalsignwithRembrandt.You’reartisticbynature.
“Oh,look.Genericfunfactsabouttheanimalsigns,”Isaysarcastically.“Thisiswherewecanplaytoouradvantage.Wetakethetimetogettoknowourclients,Pinot.Wedon’tbrushstroketheiranimalsignsoverthem.”Still,I’mmomentarilydistractedbywhatHorsetraitsRembrandtmust’vepossessed.
Itakeasipofwine.Asinkingfeelingwhirlsinmystomach.Whatifpeopleusingtheappmatchwithmyfakeprofile?Thenthey’llfeelledonandthinkthatthenonexistentpersonontheotherendispurposelyignoringthem.I’mnottryingtobreakanyone’sheart.PóPoandAuntiewouldbesodisappointediftheyknewwhatIwasupto.
PóPo’sadvicewhenwewereininitialdiscussionsformetotakeoverLunarLoveechoesthroughmyhead.Ifyoutakeonmorethanyoucanchew,you’llchoke,sheinstructed.Ipushherwordsoutofmymind.Inordertosurvive,wehavetoeateverything.Isupposeit’sasmallsacrificeforexposingthetruth.
IfeellikeI’mtryingtoflytothemoononasailboat.Itakeadeepbreath.Ican’tbringlovetotheworldifLunarLovedoesn’texist.ItapSaveonmyprofileandwatchasmoreanimalnoisestricklein,waitingtoseeifacertainRatwillsqueakatme.
IflipthroughthechannelsonTVtofindanewdistraction,landingonadocuseriesaboutthedeepsea.Itfeedsintomycuriosityandfears.Butbeingintheoceanisdifferentthanobservingitfromthecomfortsofmystudioapartment.Thedistractionattemptsdon’tworkforlong.IlettheepisodeplayinthebackgroundasIcontinuestudyingthepressrelease.Anotherformoffeedingmycuriosityandfears.
“Onethingthatdifferentiatesusisthatwearen’tshowingimagesofusersintheprofiles.Eighty-fivepercentofpeoplewesurveyedpreferrednottoshowphotos,soweeliminatedtheneedforit.We’reaboutpersonalitytraits,nothowpeoplelook.OurconceptisbasedlooselyontheChinesezodiacanimalsigntraits,butwedothingsourownway,”O’Brienshares.“Afterall,traditionsweremeanttobebroken.”
Traditionsweremeanttobebroken?Whodoesthisguythinkheis?
“It’stheGreatRacetoLunarNewYear.That’sonlyfourmonthsaway,”Icalculate.“It’sfine.There’sstilltimeforthemtofailbeforethen.”
Pinotstaresblanklyatme.
“IknowtheGreatRaceisasoresubjectforyoucats.Ohforgetit.Ithoughtyou’datleastcarebecauseaRatisinvolved!”
FebruaryisourbiggestmonthoftheyearwithLunarNewYearandValentine’sDay.IfZodiaCupidsuccessfullylaunchesthen,wemaynotseetheboostinclientnumberswe’reusedto.We’llneedtorethinkourstrategyandmakethemostofthenextfewmonths.LunarLovecountsonthatannualincrease.
Igrabmylaptopanddouble-checkLunarLove’sspreadsheets.Luckily,wehaveenoughsavingstokeepusafloatforabouttwoorthreemoremonths,butwedon’thavetimetowaste.
ZodiaCupidisrunningaclosedbetawhereafewthousandluckyuserscantesttheproductearlyandexperiencemostofthefeaturesZodiaCupidwilloffer,withlotsmoreadditionstocome.Meanwhile,ZodiaCupidistakingbetatesterfeedbackintoconsiderationandworkingonimprovingtheirproduct.
“We’reexcitedabouttheoverwhelminglypositivefeedbackwe’vereceivedsofar.Wedon’ttaketheworkwedolightlyorforgranted.It’sbeenawildride,andwe’rejustgettingstarted,”O’Brienadds.
Itwasn’tuntilthepasttwoweeksthattheyannouncedtheirpresencetotheworldwithacreativesocialmediacampaign.They’vealreadyreceivedover25,000emailsignupsfrompeoplehopingtobeacceptedintobetaduringthiscampaign.Ifyouhaven’tyetfoundlove,signupontheirwebsitetobeabetatesterandgivethiscleveranduniquedatingappatry—thiscouldbeyourYearoftheMatchMadeinZodiacHeaven!
IunintentionallyclenchmyjawasIreadphraseslike“Thestart-upworld’snewestdarling”and“Freshconceptforthoselookingfortraditioninamodernworld.”IfpeoplecaredabouttraditionandtheChinesezodiac,theywould’vefoundus.LunarLovehasbeenhereforhalfacentury,butbecausewe’renotsomeflashynewapp,wegetoverlooked.Appsaresoullessandimpersonal.Loveisbetweentwopeople,nottwoavatars.LunarLoveisabusinessthat’sbuiltfromtheheart.
Anotherheadline,“ChineseZodiacExpertHelpsMassesFindCompatibleMatches,”stopsmeinmytracks.
“Youthinkyou’reanexpert,Bennett?You’renotanexpert!Theonlythingyou’reanexpertinisstealingotherpeople’sbusinessconceptsandbuns.”MyshoutsannoyPinot,andhejumpsoffmylap,settlingintothefarcornerofthecouch.
Iwanderintothebathroomandripopenasheetmask.Icarefullydrapethemaskovermyforehead,nose,andcheeks.Howaretheymeasuringsuccess?Thenumberofoinksandbarkspeoplereceive?Messages?Howaretheyeventrackingthatwithoutknowingwho’sgoingondates?Myskepticismremains.There’snowaythisappworks.
Iscrollthroughmorematchesthatappearinmydashboardontheapp,keepingacloseeyeoutforoneinparticular.“Let’sseeyourso-calledexpertiseinaction.You’renotfoolinganyone,BennettO’Brien!”
IperusetheprofileoftheRoosterthatcrowedatmeearlierandevaluatethecontentsoftheprofileofParkerT.,theownerofahipnewItalianrestaurantindowntownLosAngeles.Accordingtowhathe’swritten,he’sobsessedwithanythingthathastodowithItaly(especiallythefood)andisaproudAngeleno.
Truthfully,ifouranimalsignpersonalitytraitsdidn’tclashsomuch,ParkerT.mightactuallybeinteresting.Afterall,I’mafanofcarbonaraandtheItalianRiviera.Clearlytheirsystemispullingwordsfromprofilesandmatchingpeoplethatway.Iusedthewordpastainmyprofile.Butthat’sprofilematching,notnecessarilypersonalitymatching.Icould’vewritteninmyprofilethatIdespisepasta,andaccordingtotheapp’slogic,basedonthosewordsalone,westillmight’vematched.
“That’swhatIthought!”Iflingmywineglassupintheair,andtheliquidsloshesarounddangerously.“Notamatch,notanexpert.”ThiswinehitharderandfasterthanIanticipated.IwalkovertothekitchenandeatanotherpieceofHawaiianpizza.
Overthespeakers,thenarrator’svoicegrowsominous,drawingmyattentionbacktothetelevision.Ahideouscreaturepopsoutofthecenterofafish’smouth,itsworm-likebodylookinglikeit’smadeitselfathome.Asdisturbingasitis,Ican’tlookaway.Instead,Iturnthevolumeup.
“Thetongue-eatinglouse,orCymothoaexigua,isaparasitethatentersthroughthefish’sgills.Theparasiteseversthefish’stongueandattachesitself,becomingthefish’stongueitself,”thenarratorinformsviewers.Anicebluefishwithsquigglylinesonitsheadswimsthroughthewater.Suddenly,asmallcreaturepokesoutofitsmouth.
“Ew!Pinot,lookatthat!”Islidetheslippingsheetmaskupmyforeheadandcheeks.
Pinotlooksoveratmefromthecouchandletsoutahuskymeow.CuriouswhatI’mdoing,hesauntersintothekitchenandjumpsontothecounter.
“Thisprocessdoesn’tharmorkillthefish,thoughitmaybeslightlyunpleasantforawhile,”thenarratorcontinues.“Theparasitefindsawaytosurviveinitsnewhostbyreplacingthefish’stongueandfeedingoffbloodandmucusinthefish’smouth.”
Iopenthecameraonmyphoneandflipittofaceme.Withthesheetmaskonandmytonguestickingout,IlookandfeellikeI’veofficiallylostit.
“Pinot,showmeyourtongue.”IreachforPinot,who’sdecidedthatthecuttingboardisanidealsittingspot,butheleapsawaybeforeIcangrabhim.
Thisprocessisdisturbinglypoetic.Theseparasitesfindafishtolivein,andthefishlearnstoadapttoitsnewtongue.Meanwhile,theparasitesurvivesbecauseofitsnewhost.WillLunarLovebecomethefish’stonguethatshrivelsupanddiesbecauseofcompanieslikeZodiaCupid?Realizationdawns.OramItheparasite?
“Bennett,I’mgonnafindyou,andthenI’mgonnasecretlyattachmyselftoyouandsurviveoffyourvariousfluids,”Isay.“Wait,thatdoesn’tsoundright.”Ilaughoutloudatmyridiculousthoughts.
Thedocuseriesiscutoffbycommercials.IseeacursiveZflyacrossthescreenandhearthepitchI’vereadadozentimesaboutZodiaCupid.
“No!They’rerunningcommercialsnow?Boo!”Iyellatthescreen.I’mtemptedtothrowmypizzaattheTV,butZodiaCupidisn’tworthgivingupevenoneslice.
Well,IhavetodowhatIcaninordertosurvive.Andthatstartswithinfiltratingthesystemtogettothefounder.Asmymomwouldsay,Alwaysknowwhattheothersideisthinking.Youdon’twanttobecaughtoffguardbynewinformationthatcouldknockyouoffyourfeet.
It’ssinkorswim.
IfIcanmatchwithBennett,Icanbecomeonewiththefishandsuckitsblood.Okay,that’sabitmuch.I’llfindouteverythingIcanaboutZodiaCupidsoLunarLoveisn’tcaughtoffguardagain.Bennettissimplythefishgills.
Hourslater,justbeforemidnight,IstirtothesoundofPinotusingthecouchashisscratchingpost.Igroggilycheckmyphoneforemails,texts,andZodiaCupidupdates.
Therearefifteennewmatches.Iflipthrougheachone,hopingforamiracle.ThereareafewRatsinthelist.Icarefullyreadthrougheachprofile,finallylandingononethatlookspromising.CouldthisactuallybeBennett?Isitupwithnewfoundalertness.
Iliketospendmydays…bringingloveintopeople’slives
Wait,what?That’smyjob.
Myfavoritebookstoreadare…businessbooksandnonfiction
Anentrepreneur?
ThethingIcaremostaboutis…makingZodiaCupid,aChinesezodiacmatchmakingapp,numberoneintheindustry(launchesonValentine’sDay).
Bingo.
ThenameatthetopreadsB.O.B.Bob?Or…BennettO’Brien?ApparentlyI’madrunkalgorithmwizard.Iwasabletofigureouthowtobeattheirsystemwithabottleofwineinme.
IfthisreallyisBennett,there’sonlyonewaytofindout.WithoutaclearplanortimetooverthinkwhatIwanttosay,Isend:HiB.O.B.,Somethinginthelunarspherematchedusup.Let’smeet.
IobsessivelyrefreshmyphoneeveryfewminutesinhopesthatB.O.B.hasresponded.Finally,amessagematerializesbelowtheoneIsent.
Hello,Olivia.Nicehearingfromyou.Adatesoundsgreat.
Ishudderatthethoughtofgoingonadate,butthisisn’tforme.It’sforLunarLove.I’monamission.AgentOliviaHuangChristenson,reportingforduty.It’sallsuddenlymuchmorereal
Itapoutmyresponse:Tomorrowtoosoon?Chapter5
I’mthefirsttoarriveatthecookingschoolformy“date”withB.O.B.Iclaimaseatatthecommunitytabletuckedagainstthewalloftheclassroom,situatingmyselfinthemiddlesothereareplentyofopenchairsonbothsidesofmeformytarget—Imean,date.
Aftersomebackandforth,myideaofattendingabakingclasswonout.Overtheyears,I’velearnedthatclientsfeelmorecomfortableinfirst-datesettingswhenthey’reelbowdeepincakebatter.There’sflexibilitytobeflirty,butifthechemistry’snotthere,clientscanfocusmoreontheircrèmebr?léesthaneachother.Plus,ifthedateisabust,theystillgetdessert,thesweetestofconsolationprizes.
Luckily,therearen’tanyclientsbookedfordatesheretonight,soIwon’tbeexposed.Whenthere’stheopportunitytohavethehomefieldadvantage,alwaystakeit.Inmycase,Iwon’thavetopaymuchattentiontothebakingpartandcangetstraighttothegrilling
Theclassroomlookslikeacommercialkitchenwithstainlesssteelappliancesandworkbenches,butthespacehasclearlybeendesignedforprivateeventsandphotoshoots.Whitesubwaytilescovertwowallsintheroomandalargechalkboardhangsontheother.
IexaminetheboardsothatIknowwhattoexpectforthenexttwoandahalfhours.Incursivepinkchalk,Iread:Mochi(Japanesericeballswithredbeanfilling),BáiTángGāo(Chinesewhitesugarspongecake),Dàntǎ(eggtarts),BánhChu?iN??ng(Vietnamesebananacake),andYuèbǐng(mooncakes).I’vemadetwoofthefivedessertsbefore,whichgivesmeasmallboostofconfidence.
B.O.B.saidhe’dwearasalmon-coloredshirt.Withinminutes,twomenandonewomanarrive,allthreeofthemtakingseatsatoppositeendsofthetable.Nosignofhimyet.
Afewmorestudentsquietlywalkinandfilltheseats.Nervesstarttogetthebestofme.Maybethiswasn’tsuchabrightidea.I’mactinglikealowlifeparasiticorganismthattakesandtakeswithoutgivinganythinginreturn.That’swhatI’mtryingtobe?
Focus,Olivia!You’reheretofindoutinformationaboutyourcompetition.
I’mrubbingmymoonpendantforgoodluckwhenamaninacoralcashmeresweaterwholookstobeinhismid-thirtiestakesaseatnexttome.Heturns,andIfindmyselfstaringintotheeyesofmyenemy.TurnsoutB.O.B.wasBennett,afterall.Thestarsandthemoonhavealigned.Icanalmosthearthesoundofsingingbabycupids.MyplantomatchwithBennettworked.
“You?!”webothsayatthesametime.Ioverplaymysurprise,thoughhislooksgenuine.
“Whatareyoudoinghere?”heasks.
“AreyouBdotOdotBdot?”Iask.
Helaughs.“Iam.BennettO’Brien.AreyouO-L-I-V-I-A?”
Ismirk.“LivisshortforOlivia.”
“Firstthebakery,nowthis.Eitheryou’refollowingmeorfatekeepsbringingustogether,”Bennettsays.
Heonlyremembersmefromthebakery,whichmeanshedidn’tseemeintheaudienceattheconference.Ibreatheoutinrelief.
“WhyintheworldwouldyoucallyourselfB.O.B.?”Iask.
“ProbablythesamereasonyougobyLiv,Olivia,”hesays,emphasizingmyname.“SoIguesswe’rehereforthesamedatethen.”
“Bythelookoftheflowersyou’reholding,itlookslikeyou’regoingtoafuneral,notadate,”Isay,noddingtothewhitechrysanthemumsinhishands.
“I’mstillmourningthelossofmycocktailbun,”hesayssolemnly.“Sinceyou’remydate,theseareforyou.Sorryforyourloss?”Heholdstheflowersouttowardmeslowly.“IsthereabetterflowerIcould’vegonewith?”
“Ipersonallypreferpeonies,butit’s,whatdotheysay?It’sthethoughtthatcounts.Thanks.”Itentativelyreachforthebouquetandtucktheflowersintomybag.“Whyareyounotwearingsalmon?That’scoralifI’veeverseenit.”
Bennettlooksathisshirt.“Thisismostdefinitelysalmon,”hesays.Afteramoment,headds,“Iknowthisisweird,butIthinkweshouldstay.Let’sstartwithacleanslate.I’mBennett.You’reOliviaslashLivslashBakeryGirl.”
Sohenicknamedme,too.
“YoucancallmeOlivia.Wecanstay,butI’llstartwiththequestions.Whatdoyoudoforwork?”Iask,notwantingtowasteanytime.IneedtosqueezeeverythingIcanoutofthisman.
Bennettlooksslightlystartled.“Uh,I’mactuallythefounderofZodiaCupid.That’swhyIthinkweshouldstay,”headmits.“Myalgorithmisgood.”
“Wow,youralgorithmhastakentheplaceoffate,huh?”Isay.He’sprobablyalsosomeonewholooksinthemirrorandtellshimselfhe’shandsome.“Ihadnoideayouwerethefounderoftheappwematchedon.”Littledoesheknow,I’vereadeverysinglepressreleaseeverpublishedabouthimandhiscompany.Andhedoesn’tneedtofindout.Playingignorantmightgetmemoreinformation.
“Iguessyoucouldn’tlookmeupbecauseofmyname.Orlackthereof.”Bennettrestshisfootonthebaseofthestool.“Myalgorithmworks,andItrustit.There’sareasonwekeepmeeting.Andyou’reinterestinginaweirdsortofway.”
Iputahandovermyheartandgivehimamock-seriouslook.“That’sthenicestthinganyone’seversaidtome.”
Bennettlaughs.“Thatcameoutwrong.Itcould’vejustbeenme,butIfeltlikewehititoffatLuckyMonkey.IrealizedafterIshould’veaskedforyournumber.Andnowyou’rehere.”
BeforeBennettcansayanythingelse,theinstructorclapsherhandstocapturetheclass’sattention.Shewelcomeseveryoneandexplainsthatwe’llbreakintoteamsandmakeoneoftherecipesontheboard.BennettandIareassignedmooncakes.Whenwepushoffourstoolstofindaspotnearthestove,I’mremindedofhowtallheisstandingnexttomyfive-foot-fourheight.He’sindarkbluejeansthatslightlyhughisthighs,thecuffsfoldedabovehislightbrownleatherboots.Puttogether,yetcasual.Atleasttheman’sconsistent.
Weclaimthespacenexttotheteamassignedwitheggtarts.BennettandIawkwardlymakeeyecontactaswemovearoundeachother.IremindmyselfthatI’mdoingthisforloveandforthegreatergoodofsinglepeopleeverywhere.
Bennettreadsthroughtherecipe,whisperingthelistofingredientsoutloudashecomparesittowhat’sprovidedintheingredientbucketonthetable.Istareathiminsuspicionandpleasurethathe’stheonehereinfrontofme.
HepullsupanimageonhisphoneandtiltsthescreensoIcansee.“Ithinkweshouldfollowthisrecipeinstead.Icanattestthatthey’rethebestmooncakes.Similaringredients,slightlydifferentprocess.”
Ibristleathisconfidence.“Whydoyouhavethatonyourphone?Youcouldn’thaveknownweweremakingmooncakestonight.”
“Ilookeduptheclassbeforehandandpulledrecipesforallofthepotentialdesserts.I’vemademooncakesbeforeandhappentohavemyownrecipe.Ihaveaonehundredpercentsuccessratewiththis.”
Iputmyhandonmyhipindefiance.“Well,I’vemademooncakes,too,andIthinkweshouldfollowtheclassrecipe.”Hislinefromthepressreleaseabouthowtraditionsweremeanttobebrokenechoesthroughmymind.“Itlookslikesomeofthestepshavealreadybeenstartedbecauseoftimeconstraints.”
“Youdon’twanttotryitmyway?”Bennettaskswithalookofsurprise.“Iknowmyrecipeworks.Thisotherrecipedoesn’tevenhavethesaltedduckeggyolksinit.”
Idon’twanttotryanythinghisway,datingapporotherwise.“It’soutofourcontrol.Wepaidmoneytobehere,tomakethemooncakesthecookingschool’sway,”Isay,pushingback.“Ifthey’renotasgoodasyours,thenyoucangloatallyouwant.”
Bennett’sjawclenches,butafteramoment,heslideshisphoneintohispocket.“Sure.We’lldoityourway,”hesays,ahintofannoyancedetectableinhisvoice.Atleasthe’sfinallyagreed.“Howaboutwegetstartedandseewhereitgoes?”
“Let’strytogetthroughthestepswithoutitbeingtooweird,”Isay,secretlypleased.Ishouldnotfeelthissatisfiedatunnervinghim.“Thisrecipesaysweshouldstartwiththesyrup,butthat’salreadybeendone.Soweshoulddothedough.”
“Ithinkweshouldstartwiththefilling,”Bennettcounters.“Itlooksliketheteacheralreadystartedboilingthepresoakedlotusseedssowecanfinishthatup.”
OhforCupid’ssake!We’renotevenfiveminutesin,andwe’realreadygoinghead-to-head.Iwrapanapronaroundmywaist.“LikeIsaid,weshouldfollowthesteps.They’rewritteninthisorderforareason.”
“Recipeinstructionsaremeanttobereinterpreted,”hesays,hookinghisapronaroundhisneck.
Isenseatheme.“Howaboutthis?YoudothatwhileIgetthedoughgoing.”
“Youdon’twanttofollowtherecipetogether?”heasks.“Isn’tthatthepointofadate?Doingthingstogether?”
Ireachforatowel,cringingslightlyathisuseoftheworddate.“Right,butit’snotasefficient.Wecangetacouplestepsdoneatonceifwedivideandcook.”
“Here.”Bennettbringsthefoodprocessoroverfromashelfandplugsitin.Hechecksthesimmeringlotusseedsanddrainstheliquid,addingthemtothefoodprocessor.Astheywhirltogether,asmooth,thickmixtureforms.Bennettlooksasthoughhe’smemorizingeverytextureandscent.Hescoopsthemixtureintoapanandsetstheheattomediumlow.“See?Nowthat’sdone!Wecanfollowtherestofthestepstogether.”
“Great,”Imurmur.
“Didyouknowthat,yearsago,peoplewereworriedthere’dbea‘mooncakebubble’inChina?”Bennettsaysashemixesthepureewithaspatula,fillingthetensesilencebetweenus.“Luxurymooncakestookoverthemarketandweresellingforupwardsoftentimesasmuchasatraditionalmooncake.”
Igrabasilverbowlfromoneoftheneareststands.“Whydopeoplefeeltheneedtochangeagoodthing?There’snothingwrongwithtradition.”
“It’snotaboutwrongorright.Sometimespeopleliketryingnewthings,”Bennettoffers.
Itrynottoletirritationshowonmyface.Therearemoreimportanttopicsathand,likeextractingimportantintel
“IstheChinesezodiacyourlife’spassionorareyoujustinitforaquickbuck?”Iblurtout.
Bennettscruncheshisnose.“Isthatajoke?”
“Letmerephrase:Wheredidyoutake,Imean,getyourideafrom?Anddon’tgivemethecannedresponsethatI’msureyou’regivingreporters.”ThisresponseIalreadyknowfromthepressrelease.IstartedZodiaCupidtohelpgivepeopleashotatlovebasedonwhotheyreallyare.Onourapp,there’snoneedtopretendorperform.Allyouhavetodoisbeyou.
“WhatIsayisn’tcanned,”hesayswithhiseyebrowsscrunched.“Iwantedtomakesomethingspecialandspecificinthedatingappmarket.Ilikeourconcept.It’sfun.”
“Fun,”Iecho.IthinkbacktothedayswhentheChinesezodiacwassonewtomethatitdidfeelfun.Mysterious.Rootedinpracticality.Themagic’sstillthere,butit’smostlybecomebusiness.Iaddsyrup,lyewater,andoiltotheflourandfoldtheingredientstogetherwithaspatula.“Haveyoualwaysbeenintothezodiacorisitarecentlyacquiredinterest?”
Surprisingly,Bennettlooksunfazedbymylineofquestioning.Hefocusesinonmyeyesanddeadpans,“I’vejustbeenlearningaboutitthroughWikipedia.Reallygoodstuffonthere.”
Againstmybetterjudgment,alaughslipsout.Ican’tbelaughingatmyenemy’sjokes.It’sasignofweakness.
Helaughsandshakeshishead,astrandofhairfallingacrosshisforehead.“Ifyou’rewonderingifIgrewuplearningaboutthezodiac,no.Ilearneditonmyown.Mymomwasintothezodiac,but—no,Ididn’t,”hesays,cuttinghimselfoff.Hedoesn’telaborate.“I’vestudiedtheChinesezodiacdeeply,eventhoughmyapptakesalooserapproach.”
He’sbluffing.
“Goahead,youcanaskmeanything,”hesaysasifreadingmymind.
WhenIshakemyheadandstaysilent,heasks,“Didyougrowuplearningaboutthezodiac?”
“Notreally,”Ilie.I’mgladPóPoandAuntiearen’theretowitnessmybetrayal.Ipushharderintothedoughtoreleasesomeofmyanxiety.Oncethetextureissmooth,Iwrapthedoughinplasticandplaceitinthefridgetocool.
“Ifyou’rereimagininghowtheChinesezodiacworksandchargingpeopleforit,don’tyouthinkyou’remisleadingpeople?”Iadd,rejoiningBennettatthestove.
“YouthinkwhatI’mdoingisculturalappropriation?”heasks,quicklyglancingupatme.
Ithinkforamoment.“Well,Idon’tknow.Notnecessarily.”
“IhavebothChineseandIrishheritageandhavebeeninterestedinandstudiedthezodiacforalongtime.It’smyculture,myfamily’sculture,”Bennettsays,ahintofdefensivenesspokingthrough.“Idon’thavetojustifymyselftoanyonewhothinksI’mnotChineseenoughbecausethey’reuncomfortablewithmebeingmixedrace.”
“No,Itotallyunderstandthat,”Iconfess.
Thethingis,Ireallydocompletelygetit.Ifullyrelate.WithChinese,Scottish,andNorwegianheritage,itwouldn’tbefairformetothinkthat.IfIdid,wouldn’tthatmeanIwasdoingthesame?I’mworkingonmodernizingLunarLove,sure,butI’mtryingtodoitinawaythathonorswhatPóPostarted.
“Ournamesdon’talwaysrepresentallofwhoweare,”Bennettsays,speakingtowardtherange.“IhaveanIrishlastname,andIunderstandthatmightbeconfusingwithwhatIdo.Butitdoesn’tnegatethefactthatI’mChinese,too.Iknowthatmyexistence,whatIlooklike,andmynamesometimesmystifypeople.”
“Namescanbecomplicated,”Isay,noddingalong.“Assumptionsaretooeasilymade.”
Bennettstopsmixingthefillingforasecondtofaceme,hiseyesholdingintensecontactwithmine.“I’vealwaysthoughttheChinesezodiacwasafascinatingapproachtounderstandinghumans.Andabigpartofthezodiacisaboutwhopairswellwithwho.Withtheriseofdatingapps,IsawabusinessopportunitythatIhadapersonalinterestin,”headds,rotatingbacktowardthetaskathandandgivingthepanasmallshake.“I’mtryingtobeasmartbusinessman.Ihaveadecentamountofexperienceinthetechindustry.Abigpartofrunningastart-upislearningonthejobandknowingwhentopivot.”
Waytostatetheobvious.
“Ijustdon’tbuythatZodiaCupid’sconcepthasn’tbeendonebefore,”Ipress.
Bennettlooksoveratme.“WhatI’mdoingisn’tnew.Therearedatingappswithfiltersthatincludeastrologicalsigns,andeventheChinesezodiac,asoneelementofthematching.Forus,though,that’sourmainelement.”
“Really?Justsomedatingapps,huh?”
AglimmerspreadsacrossBennett’shazeleyes,andI’mmomentarilysidetracked.“There’salsothisplacecalledLunarLove,”Bennettsays.“Haveyouheardofit?”
Mycoreisshakenhearinghimsaythosewords.Ididn’texpecthimtoactuallyknowaboutus.Iopenmymouthbutnothingcomesout.Ishakemyheadno.Ican’tverbalizeanotherlie.
“Huh,”hegrunts.“Frommyimpressionofyousofar,itseemslikeLunarLovewouldbesomethingyou’dbeintoinsteadofZodiaCupid,butifyouhaven’tevenheardofit,thenIguessIdon’tneedtobeworried.”
Therehegoessayingthosetwowordsagain.HismentionofLunarLoveandhistotaldisregardforusismaddening.
“Uh-huh,”Imumble,runningmyfingersalongthedesignofthemooncakemold
“Doyoutypicallygrillallyourdates?”Bennettasks,turningtofaceme.Hisshouldersaremorerelaxed,histonemorecasualthanbefore.Ilookathimstraighton,andfromthisangle,Iseethathissmileisslightlycrooked,theleftsideofhisbottomliptiltinghigheroverhisteeth.It’sinfuriatinglyadorable.
“JusttheonesI’mparticularlyskeptical,er,intriguedabout,”Isay,catchingmyself.“Soitseemslikeyoujustletalltheanimalsloose,freetomingleanddatewhotheywant.Nofoundationofcompatibilitytohelpguidepeople.”
Bennettlaughsandpausesbeforehespeaksagain.“ZodiaCupidtakestheanimalsigntraitsintoconsideration,butitmostlymatchesusersbywhattheywriteintheirprofiles.Itopensusersuptomorepotentialmatches,”heexplains.“Iknowit’sdifferentthanthetraditionalandlimitedwayofmatchingcompatiblesignsexclusively.Somepeoplewon’tlikethatbutIhopethey’llstillgiveusatry.”
Ibreatheoutheavily.Keyword:try.Butwhenpeoplearereadyforsomethingserious,they’llsettledownwithus.
Bennettgivesmeafunnysmile.“Sorrytobreakittoyou,”headds,“butHorsesandRatsaren’ttypicallycompatible.Butwe’regettingalong!”
Igrumblenoncommittally.“Soyourappisn’tactuallymakingcompatiblematches.”Inarrowmyeyesathim.“Soundstomelikefalseadvertising.”
“Dependsonyourdefinitionofcompatible.”Bennettliftsafilling-coatedspatulaoutinfrontofmeashespeakswithhishands.“Ifyouhaveaproblemwithouranimalsignsmatching,thenwhydidyouaskmeoutonadate?”heaskscuriously.
Ireachouttolowerthespatulajustaslotuspureesplatsontotheground.Myhandunintentionallytoucheshis,andIquicklypullbackasthoughhewereahotstove.Heglancesdowntowhereourskintouchedandthenbackupatme.
“Asauserofyourapp,IguessItrustedthatyouknowbest,”Irespond,almostchokingonthewords.
Bennettsmirksandplaceshispalmonthetable,bendingclosertowardme.“Youhaveprettyeyes,”hesays.“There’safirebehindthem.”
Ilookupathisface,myeyesroamingoverhissmooth,lightskin.Iplacemyhandonthetable,mirroringhisstance.“Ifyouthinkyou’resuccessfullydistractingmewithcompliments,thinkagain.”
ThecornersofBennett’smouthtiltupasherefocusesonthelotusseedfilling.“Ifyou’renothappywiththisdate,yougetyourmoneyback,noquestionsasked,”hejokes.Abiggergrinappears,andIfeelmyguardstarttoslowlydissipate.That’snotsupposedtohappen.
Thedoortotheclassroomopens,andtwolatecomerswalkin.
“Sorrywe’relate.Wegotcaughtinrushhourtraffic,”thewomansaystotheinstructor,hervoicesoundingeerilyfamiliar.“Canwestillparticipate?”
Isneakalookatthetwopeoplejoiningtheclass,recognizingoneofthem.Mybodytensesup.Colette?Whendidshegetbackintown?Myoldbestfriendandherdateareguidedbytheinstructoracrosstheroomtoacleanworkbench.
“Whatisthat?Whatareyoudoingwithyourhead?”Bennettasks,twistinghisbodytogetabetterlookatme.
“Shhh!”Itiltmyheadlower,tryingnottoattractanyattentiontomyself.“Don’tmakeanymorenoisesorsuddenmovements,”Iwhisper.
“Uh,okay.”Bennettholdshisbreathandfreezesforafewsecondsbeforeburstingintolaughter.“Seriously,whatareyoudoing?”
Think,Olivia!
“Myex-boyfriendjustwalkedin,”Iblurtout.It’stheonlythingthatwouldmakesense.Nothingcansavemenow.“Itendedbadly.Idonotwanttoseehimrightnow.”
BecausethenI’llbeexposedwithoutgettingtheinformationIcameherefor.AndI’dhavetoconfrontmypast.Iamnotpreparedforeitherofthosethings.
Bennettsubtlylooksupatthecouple.“That’sawkward.Anditlookslikehe’sherewithhisnewgirlfriend.”
Unexpectedly,avoicecallsoutacrosstheroom.“Olivia?”
Idon’tneedtoseewhosaidmynametoknowwhosevoiceitis.IhunchdownunderBennett’sbowlandslithertowardthebacksinkspretendingtolookforsomethingontheracks.
Ipeekthroughthebackshelvesintotheroom,tryingtofigureoutmynextmove.Suddenly,there’saloudclatteroftrays.IseeBennettontheground,surroundedbylotusseedfillingandtowels.TherearegaspsallaroundasthestudentssurroundBennetttohelphimup.
Perfect.NowColettewilldefinitelyseeme.
Ornot.
Ialmostdon’tnoticeBennettlookingupatmeandnoddingtowardtheexit.Iclumsilyremovemyapronandtiptoetothedoor.
Outside,Idebateleavingbutdecidetostay.Afewminuteslater,Bennettwalksoutofthebuildingwithlightorangefillingcrustedonthepartsofhissweaterthattheaprondidn’tcover.
“Iwasn’tsureifyou’dstillbehere.Youforgotyourbag,”hesays,offeringmemytoteandflowers.
“Thankyou.Forthisandthat,”Ireply.“Areyouokay?”
“I’llbesoreforacoupleofdaysbutI’mfine.ImoonlightasastuntdoubleforKeanuReevessomybody’susedtoit,”hedeadpans.“Areyouokay?”
“Please.EveryoneknowsKeanudoesalotofhisownstunts,”Isay,tryingtostiflealaugh.Thatentireencounterupstairswasjust…bizarre.“IthinkI’mokay,too.”
Iwassoclosetobeingouted.Bennetthelpedmecoverupmyownlies.
Bennettstretchesouthisback.“Youbetternotbelaughingatme!”hesayswithagrin.
Itakeadeepbreath.“Idon’tmeantolaugh.Ireallyamappreciativeofyourdistraction,andIknowhowexcitedyouweretomakemooncakes.Letmebuyyouicecreamasathank-you.”
“I’dbeafooltoturndownicecream,”Bennettsays.“ButI’dbeanevenbiggerfooltoletyoupay.Youcoveredtheclass.Icecreamisonme.”
“Ican’targuewiththat,butyoudidthrowyourselfonthegroundforme.”
“It’smyhonorfallingforyou,”hesayssweetly.
Ifeelablushcreepacrossmycheeks.
Pullyourselftogether!
Weheadtothenearesticecreamshop,whereIorderascoopofchocolateandoneofvanillawhileBennettenjoystwoscoopsofpeanutbuttericecream.Weeatandwalksidebysidetothenearestparkastheskysettlesintoapinkandpurpletie-dyedusk.
“Thisfeelsstrangelyfamiliar,”Bennettsays.
Igivehimalook.“Yeah.Ican’tgetoverhowweirdthisis.”
“Meetingmeagainorplayinghooky?”
“Both!I’veneverditchedanythinginmylife!”Isay,stillstunnedbythesuddenescape.Adrenalinepumpsthroughmyveins.ThiswasnothowIsawtheeveninggoing.
“EventhoughoneofyourtraitsasaHorseisspontaneity?”
“Well,spontaneityisactuallyoneofthetraitsIdon’treallyresonatewith.”Ilickmyicecream.
“Interesting,”hesays,wrinklinghiseyebrows.Hetakesabiteoutofhiscone.“I’mcurioustoknowmoreaboutyou.Whatdoyoudoforwork,Olivia?”Bennettasks.Hesaysmynamefamiliarly,asthoughit’salwaysbeenpartofhisvocabulary.
“I’m…inrecruiting,”Isay,whichdoesn’tfeellikealie.IrecruitsinglepeopleallthetimeforLunarLove.“I’mtakingoverthefamilybusiness.”There.Onetruth.NowIcanresteasytonight.
“Isthatso?”heasks.
Ilookathimwithmynosecrinkled.“Itisso.”
“What’sthatlike?”
“Honestly,Iloveit,”Isay.“Therehavebeensomechallengeslately,butit’snothingIcan’thandle.”
“Hardtofindgoodtalent?”heasks,takingastepclosertometomoveoutofthewayofaskateboarderandherdog.
“Somethinglikethat,”Iadmit.
“That’simpressive.Congrats.Dependingonhowquicklywegrow,Imayneedtoenlistyourservices.We’llseehowthingsgowiththebusiness.”
Iwanttoaskhowfastthey’regrowingandwhatplanstheyhaveforZodiaCupid,butIcan’tbringmyselftointerrogatehimanyfurther.Idon’tknowwhyIthoughtBennettwasgoingtodivulgehiscompany’ssecretstosomeonehejustmet.Well,metagain.
Whenourelbowsdistractinglybrushagainsteachotherforthefifthtime,Iknowit’stimetocallitanight.“Ishouldgethome.Ihaveabusydaytomorrow.Thanksfortheicecream.”
“Absolutely.”Bennettcheckshiswatchforthetime.“Ididn’trealizehowlateitwas.Thiswasfun,Olivia.”
“Itwassomething,B.O.B.”
Bennettlaughs.“Yeah,sorryaboutthat.Myengineerconvincedmetomakeaprofile.Hesaiditwouldbegoodformetoknowwhat’shappeningonthegroundlevel.Myteamhasbeenencouragingmetogoondatestotrytheappout.Workhasbeenprettybusy,sothisismyfirst.”
Asliverofmeisthrilledthathewasn’ttryingtogoondateswithsomeonewhowasn’tme.Ifinishmyconeandthrowthisthoughtawayalongwithmynapkin.
“Icanimagine.Soyou’reheretodoresearchforwork,”Iclarify,leavingoutthe“too.”Theironyisslightlyamusing.
Bennettstuffsahandintohispocket.“Youcouldsaythat,butI’mreallygladIcame.Iwasn’tsureifI’deverseeyouagain.MaybeIcangetyournumberthistime?Thenwe’llneedalittlelessfatetoseeeachother.”
“Youmeanalittlelessalgorithm?”Itease,takinghisphonefromhim.
Hischeeksturnrosypink.IreluctantlytypemynumberintohisphonesowecantakeourconversationoffZodiaCupid.TheonlyconversationIeverplanonhavingwithhimisaboutwhatplanshehasuphiscoral-coloredsleeves.
Bennettawkwardlyholdshisarmsoutandpauses,signalingthathe’dliketogivemeahug.Ihesitantlyreachupandhugback.Myarmsrestagainsthisfirmshoulders,andinthiscloseproximity,Ilearnthathesmellslikemusk.Andmooncakefilling.
Ittakesasecondbeforewerealizewe’velingered.Wepullapart,andIadjustthestrapofmybag,thechrysanthemumsswingingtotheside.
“Itwasniceofficiallymeetingyou,”Bennettsays.
Wesmileateachother.I’mindenialthatIactuallyenjoyedmyself.
“Itwasnicemeetingyou,too,asshole.”Chapter6
MyinstinctsguidemeasIfollowthepathI’vewalkedforyears.WithLunarLoveinsight,Istepofftothesidetoadmirethebuilding.FourdaysintomyfirstweekandIstillhavebutterfliestumblingandturninginmystomach.LunarLove’sredexterior,pinkwindowtrim,andpinkdoorhaveremainedthesamesincetheverybeginning.PóPowas
WhenIwasyounger,boththeinsideandoutsideofthebuildingfeltold-fashioned,asifalltheshopsinChinatownweresupposedtolookacertainway.NowIappreciatethepartsoftheneighborhoodthatstillexudetraditionamongagrowinginfluxoftrendiereateriesandartgalleries.Totherightofourbuilding,whatusedtobeabookstoreisnowato-be-determinedrenovatedofficeorretailspace.Theconstructionhasn’tstartedyetfortheday,soI’llhavesomequiettimetomyself.
ItwasonlyayearagothattheinsideofLunarLovelookedcompletelydifferentthanitdoesnow.SinceDayOne,thewallsandceilingswerepaintedadeepcrimson.Thefurniturewasdarkandheavy,andtherewasanoverabundanceofstuff:boxesfilledwithclientdocumentsfromdecadesprior,booksandtornposters,andbagsofdonations.IttookmeeightmonthstoconvinceAuntietoletmeredesigntheplace.
Mydesigngoalsweresimple:cleanandaspirational,yetstilltraditional.Whenclientsvisit,Iwantthemtofeellikeanythingispossible.Thatanewchapterisjustbeginning.Thismeantrepaintingthewallsoff-whiteandhanginglocalartists’workthatreflectedthetangled,abstract,beautifulemotionsoflove.Clunkychairswerereplacedbytheminimalsetsofmid-centurymodernonesIscoredatfleamarkets.Findingloveisstressfulenough.Theplaceyougotofinditshouldbecalmingandreassuring.
EventhenameLunarLoveissimpleandstraightforwardyetfullofsignificance.Thelunarhoroscopewascreatedbecauseofthemoon’smovementsandphases,whichpeopleinterpretedandassignedmeaningto.Eachofthetwelveanimalsignsanditsaccompanyingpersonalitiesrulesalunaryear.Thelunarcalendar,basedonthemoon’sphasesinamonth,istheguidefordeterminingthemostauspiciousdatesformomentousevents.
WhenPóPochosethename,shewantedherbusinesstoreflectthepowerofthemoon,bothphysicallyandfiguratively.Morethanjustmakingthenamemodest,PóPoalsosimplifiedthebusinessconceptinanattempttokeepitalive.SherealizedthatWesternersweremoreinterestedinzodiacmatchmakingwhenitwasn’ttoocomplicated.Shefiguredouthowtostreamlinethemagicofitallinordertoavoidlosingintimidatedclients.
Justasshedid,IneedtofigureoutwhichchangestomakethatfeelrightforLunarLove.Thespeechesandtoastsandgoldnecklacesarespecial,butthat’snotwhatanyofthisisabout.I’mcarryingPóPo,Auntie,andLunarLove’slegacyintothefuture.WhatIdofromnowonisthetruetestofwhatI’mmadeofandwhatthebusinesscanwithstandinthesechanging,challengingtimes.
Iwalktowardtherearofthespacewhereoneofthethreeroomsinourbuildingisdesignatedasanoffice.AcrossfromthewaitingareaistheSessionRoom,wherewemeetwithclients.
Iflipthroughthepileofmail,assessingthedamage.Somemarketing,somewrongaddress,butmostlybills.IdropthemontotheteeteringpileofmailAuntieleftonmydesk,whichIdiscovercontainsevenmorebills.BeforeIhavethechancetotacklemyemails,Ihearthefrontdoorclose,followedbythesoundofawomancallingoutintothewaitingarea.
“Hithere.CanIhelpyou?”Iask,rushingoutoftheofficetogreettheunexpectedguest.
“Yes,I’mlookingforLydia.Isshehere?”theladyasks.Shelooksprofessionalchicinherbabybluepantsuit.Insideheroversizedleatherbag,Ispottwoeyesshiningbackatmeandthenhearasmallyip.Thewomanliftsthebagtoherfaceandcoosintothesmallopening.“Don’tmindPoppy.She’sfriendly.”
“Lydia’snothere.Didyouhaveanappointment?”Iask,thinkingImighthaveoverlookedoneofAuntie’sclients.“We’retransitioningallofherclientsovertomeandmycolleague.Sorryifwe—”
“Oh,no,”shesays,furrowinghereyebrows.“Quitetheopposite.”Thewomanhandsmeabusinesscardaccompaniedbyadazzlingsmile.“I’mCarol.”
Ireviewtheshinysilverwordsonthecard:“CarolRogers,Realtor,SilverLiningsRealEstate.”
“Soyou’renotaclient?”Iconfirm.
“Darling,isLydiahere?Ihavesomeimportantbusinessmatterstodiscusswithher.Itriedemailingbutdidn’tgetaresponse.”Sheliftsloosefuzzfromhersleeveandletsitfloatthroughtheairuntilitfinallylandsonthecarpet.
Ibendthebusinesscardbackandforthbetweenmyfingers.“Lydia’sactuallynolongerwithLunarLove.Iftherearebusinessmatterstodiscuss,youcandosowithme.I’mthenewowner.”
Carol’seyesflickerindisappointment.“Oh.Ididn’tknowyouwere…areyouKorean?IthoughtthiswasaChinesecompany.”
“I’mhalf-Chinese,”Isayhesitantly.It’stheanswerthatwillsatisfyher.Aneasycategorization.Whenshedipsherheadinanodasthoughshe’shadanepiphany,IfeellikeI’vefailedatsomething.
“Inthatcase,Iwantedtodiscussthisproperty.Asyoumayknow,thisareaisverypopular,”shesayswithawink.Shehandsmeaslipofpaperbeforegrabbingmybusinesscardfromthereceptiondesk.“Here’swhatIthinkthislandisworth.”
Iscanthesurprisinglyhighnumberonthepaperbutmaintainalookofneutrality.ThisiswhatMaeYí-Póhadwarnedmeabout.
“Let’ssetupatimetochat.I’llemailyou!Staysilver!”Carolsingsassheheavesherpurseupherarmandwavesgoodbye.TheheadofabrownPomeranianpopsout.“Saybye,Poppy!”
Backatmydesk,OperationDestroyZodiaCupidisofftoaslowandconfusingstart.Istareattheblinkingcursoronmyscreentryingtocomeupwithbulletpointsformy“10ReasonsWhyZodiaCupidIsFlawed”articleforWhizDash.Obviously,IneedtomakeitclearthatZodiaCupidisatotalscam.WhatdidBennetttellme?Oh,right.Hisappistheopportunityhesawasavailableandseizeditwithoutcareorconcernforanyoneelse.
Thisshouldbeeasy,yetIcan’tseemtofindthewords.Whycouldn’tBennetthavebeencompletelyawful?Ahorriblevillainwhowantstomatchincompatiblepeopletogetherjusttowatchthemsufferwhilehelaughsmaniacallyunderagreensnowfallofdollarbillsandscrapesicingoffthetopofeverydesserthecanfind.Childrenwouldn’thavefrostingoncakesbecausehegottoitfirst.Chefs,cookbooks,andcookingschoolswouldbedestroyedbecausehehasallthebestrecipesintheworld,andnoonedaretrytosayotherwise.
Instead,themanthrewhimselfonthegroundforme.Hemademelaugh.Multipletimes.Thenhehadthenervetoaskformynumber.HowcanItrytohurtaseeminglydecentmanwithanunforgettablesmileandasoftspotfortheChinesezodiac?Irollmyheadbackandgroan.What’sgottenintome?It’saworkday,andI’mdaydreamingaboutBennett.Ofallpeople!Inanalternateworld,maybeIcouldentertainthinkingabouthimwithoutconsequence.Butthat’snottheworldwelivein.
ThestillwatersofmypondhavebeendisturbedbyBennett.Ican’tlettheripplesthrowmeoffbalance.Ihavetogetbacktoastateofcalm.Andwhatthismandoestomeistheoppositeofthat.He’scannonballedintothepondandsplashedaround,slappinghishandsagainstthesurfaceofthewater.It’sjustplainrude.
BennettisaRat,andI’mverymuchaHorse.Whateverthat“date”andourmeetingatthebakerywasdoesn’tmatter.Itcan’tmatter.Ican’tgodownthatpathagain.EvenifIwantedto,Iknowbetter.Spendingmoretimetogetherwouldn’tbegoodforeitherofus.Infact,I’dbedoingagooddeedbyputtingthistoanendwithmyarticle.Bennettmightbehurtbyit,butanybriefaggravationhe’llfeelisnothingcomparedtotheheartbreakhe’dfeelwhenitallcomescrashingandburningdown,asincompatiblerelationshipsinevitablytendtodo.
Ipeekatthephotoofafishwithaparasitetongueonthebackgroundofmyphoneandrememberthemission.Betheparasite.I’lljuststartwithalittleVentDraftingwhereI’lltypeoutallofmyfeelingsandallowmyselftobeangryandmad.Afterthat,I’llwritethenicerversionthatI’llactuallysendout.IfIdon’tletmyselfvent,myfrustrationcouldevolveintosomethingmoredestructivefromtheinsideout.
Isummonthewordsfromwithin,wranglingeachwordoutintotheopen.Myfingersmovecautiouslyoverthelaptopkeysasmyemotionsfindtheirvoice.BeforeIknowit,I’mpoundingfuriouslyagainsteachkey,pouringmywrathintothesentences.
There.VentDraftdone.Seeingthelistinitsentirety,there’snowayIcould’veactuallysentthisout.Especiallynotwithmyrealnameonit.It’swaytoocruel.ButnowIfeelbetter.DoesVentDraftingcountasself-care?Becauseittotallyshould.
Iexhalealongbreath,clearingtheairofanypessimism.NowIcanfocusonhypingupLunarLove.ItapoutahappierarticlefocusingonthepositiveofwhatwedoinsteadofgettingsuckedintothenegativevortexofZodiaCupid.
Ilosetrackoftime,onlyrealizingthattheworkdayhasstartedwhenAlishaandRandallwalkintotheofficetogetherbubblingwithexcitement.
“Guesswhat?”Alishaasksbreathlessly.
“What?”Iask,drawnintoherenthusiastictoneofvoice.IquicklysavethecompletedversionoftheLunarLovearticleintoafolderinoursharedcompanyGoogleDrive.ImovemyVentDrafttothetrash,deletingitsothatitneverseesthelightofday.
“IbookedyouontheDatinginLaLaLandpodcast!”Alishashares.“They’redoingalivepanelinterviewwithanaudience.It’sonSaturday.Ihopethatworksforyou.”
Iclapmyhandstogether.“That’samazing!Ilovethatpodcast.Considerallplanscanceled.PlansbeingaTVmarathon.Wait,whoelseisonthepanel?”Iask,nervousthatacertaincompetitormightbeinattendance.IfBennett’sthere,I’llbeexposed.Butthenagain,I’moutedwhentheepisodeairs.IfIwantmoreinformationonZodiaCupid,I’mgoingtohavetodomydiggingbeforeSaturday.
“It’sanall-womenpanelondatinginLosAngeles.Therewillbearelationshipseditor,aconsumerresearchmanager,somerealityTVproducer,andyou.Soundscool,right?”Randalljoinsin,ploppinghisbagintohischair.
Ibreatheoutinrelief.“Very.Nicework.Anaudience,too.I’malreadynervous.”
“You’regoingtobegreat!We’llgetyoupreppedbeforethebigday.I’llemailthedetailsover,”Alishasays,writingonapadofpaper.
Ijotdowntheeventintomyplanner.“Thankyou!Also,IwroteanarticleforWhizDash.IdroppeditintothesharedLunarLovefolder.Searchforlisticle,andyoushouldfindit.”
Alishashootsmeathumbs-up.“Good!I’llsendthattomycontact.ShesaidshewasTeamLunarLoveandexcitedtopromoteus.”
Withthelisticleoutoftheway,Iturnmyattentiontomyupcomingclientmeeting.ThisiswhereIshouldbeputtingmyenergy,notonsomewannabeimitatorapp.Withwhatfeelslikeatsunamiwaveofcancellations,Ineedtobeatthetopofmygame.
At11:00a.m.onthedot,HarperChenbreezesthroughthedoor.Harper,founderofaboutiquepublicrelationsfirmspecializingintheculinaryworld,discoveredLunarLoveonherwaytomeetacheftodiscussdetailsforopeningdayofhisnewrestaurantjustafewblocksaway.Whenshestoppedbylastweek,Ithoughtshewanteddirectionstotherestaurant,butreallyshewaslookingformoredirectioninherlovelife.
Peoplecometousfeelingoptimistic,heartbroken,anxious,andmotivated.SomeareknowledgeableintheChinesezodiacwhileothershavenocluewhattoexpect.Weseeitall.Intimesofanticipationorhopelessness,manyofuslooktothestarsforanswersandcomfort.Inourcase,welooktothemoon.
“Olivia!Howareyou?”Harpersays.Shelookssophisticatedwearingalilaclinendressthattiesaroundthewaistandafewpiecesofdelicatejewelry.Shereachesouttogivemeahug.
IntheSessionRoom,wetakeseatsoppositeoneanotheratatablemadefromreclaimedwood(anotherfleamarketscore).
“It’sbeeneventful.Sorryabouttheconstructionnoisenextdoor.Soundslikethey’reonlunchbreaksoitshouldn’tbetoodistractinginhere.Howhaveyoubeensincewespokelastweek?”Iask.
“Wildlybusybutinthebestway.Itfeelsliketherearenationalfoodholidayshappeningeverysingleday,soI’vebeenpitchingclientsconstantlyfordifferentopportunities.Andthere’sanotherbigclientI’mtryingtoland.”Harpersweepsherdarkhairintoaloosebun.“ButI’mexcitedtodothis.Ifeeltheneedtobehonestwithyou,though.I’malsousingdatingapps.”
“Oh!”Iplasterasmileonmyfaceandkeepmytoneneutral.“Anyinparticular?”
“Justacoupleofthebigonesthathavebeenaroundforever,andZodiaCupid.Thatone’sstillinbeta,though.”
“I’veheardofit,”Isay.
Harperplacesajeweledhandonthetable.“Ihopethat’sokay.Ifigured,whynot?Trymultipleavenuesofdating.Yourwaysoundedcharmingandnostalgic,sohereIam.Justgivingyouaheads-up.Itfeltkindofwrongtonottellyou.”
“Iappreciatethat,”Isay.“IhavecompletefaiththatLunarLovewon’tletyoudown,sodon’tgettooinvestedinZodiaCupid.”
Harperlaughs.“Well,good!I’mexcitedformorecontextaboutthezodiac.That’ssomethingZodiaCupiddoesn’tdo.MyfamilycelebratedLunarNewYearonandoffovertheyears,andmydadwouldteachmymom,brother,andmeabouttheupcomingyear’sanimalsign,butthat’sprettymuchtheextentofit.”
“That’sagreatstart!Let’sdiveintoit,”Isay.“YouwerebornonOctober10,1988,whichmakesyouYearoftheDragon.Thisisahighlydesiredandrespectedanimalsign.Infact,somewomenopttohaveC-sectionssotheirchildrenarebornintheDragonyear.”
“That’sdedication,”Harpersays,lookingimpressed.
“Exactly.I’llwalkthroughthetraitsoftheDragonwithyou,andlet’sseehowyouidentifywiththem.TheChineselunarhoroscopedepictsDragonsasdirect,enthusiastic,loyal,strongtempered,andno-nonsense.Practical.Youwantrespectfromothersandwilldoanythingtoearnit.”
Harperlistenscarefullytoeachtrait,noddingalongandsometimesshakingherheadindisagreement.Notalltraitsareimmediatelyobviousandtakesometimetofindinpeople,bothfromtheirperspectivesandmine.
“Didyoueverfindoutwhattimeyouwereborn?”Iask,proppingopenmynotebookagainstmycrossedleg.
“Mymomsaiditwassometimebetweentwelvethirtyandonep.m.Definitelyduringlunchhourbecausesheremembersbeinghungry.Maybethat’swhyIlovefoodsomuch,”Harperponders.
“That’sanarrowenoughwindowformetoworkwith.”Icalculateherascendant,theanimalsignthatrulesherspecificbirthhours.“Peoplesometimesdemonstratemoredominanttraitsfromtheirbirthhouranimalsigns.YouwereborninthehoursoftheHorse.Thismeansyou’renotonlycompatiblewithMonkeysandRatsasaDragonbutalsotoanimalsignsthatHorsesarecompatiblewith,likeTigersandDogs.It’ssomethingwelookat,butit’snotalwayspartoftheequationwhenmatching.”
“Likealoophole!”Harpersaysasthoughshe’sfiguredoutsomething.
“Kindof?”Isay.
“That’samazing!”
Andthat,myfriend,youdon’tgetfromanapp.
Wespendtherestofthesessiondiscussingwhat’simportanttoHarperinafuturepartner.Later,I’lltypemyhandwrittennotesintoLunarLove’sarchaicbutdensedatabase.Thesystemmaybeold,butitcontainsvaluableinformationandcontactsfromthelastfiftyyears.Toconvertthesystemtoanewonewithoutlosingthatpreciousknowledgewouldtaketimeandmoneythatwedon’thaverightnow.Ifthisdatabasehadasystemorsoftwarethatcouldcomplementourin-personmatchmaking,we’dbeunstoppable.Inthemeantime,it’sallmanual,allthetime.
IreviewHarper’straits,habits,hobbies,andpreferencesalllistedoutonthepage.“ThisiswhatI’mhearing:It’simportantthatthepersonyou’rewithhasastablejobwhereshiftsdon’tlastfourteenhours.Anditsoundslikeyouwantsomeonetoshareyourpassionforfood,whetherit’scookingtogetheroreatingatanewrestaurant.Andsomeonewho’shonest,speakshismind,andisn’tafraidtogoafterwhathewants.”
Harpernods,hergoldhoopearringsjigglingbackandforth.“Ilikethesoundofallofthat!”
“Basedonyourbirthyear,yoursign’sfixedelementisEarth.AsanEarthDragon,thismakesyoustableandfair.AndmixedwithwhatIknowaboutyousofar,youseemtoworkhardonself-development,butsometimesyoufeeltheneedtocontrolyourenvironmentandotherpeople.Doesthissoundlikeyouatall?”
Harperlaughsandnodswithashrug.“Incredible.”
“Itellyouthisjustsoyou’remoreawareofyourself.Aswegettoknoweachotherbetter,I’llhaveabettersenseofwhattraitsyoupersonify,”Iexplain.“ThisknowledgetendstocomeinhandywhenrelationshipsaredevelopingbecauseEarth,Fire,Wood,Metal,andWaterareelementsthatallreacttooneanother.Onceyougoonadate,wecangetintospecificssothatitmakesmoresenseincontext.”
“Howlonguntilyoufindmemyfirstmatch?”Harperasks.
“Becauseofthespecificityoftraitsandpreferences,there’snowaytoputatimelineonit.We’renotasfastasZodiaCupid,butI’llgettoworktodayandwillkeepyouupdatedalongtheway.”
“Exciting!So,I’mcurious,”Harpersays,leaninginclosertome.“Doyouhaveaspecialsomeone?Youmustknowrightawaywhenapersonwouldbegoodforyouorwhattolookforinapartner.”
Myeyebrowsshootupinsurprise.“Me?No!There’snoone.No,I…no.It’snotasclear-cutforme,”Isay.“It’smoredifficulttofindsomeonecompatibleintherightwaysthanyou’dthink,especiallywhenit’sforyourself.”
HarperwatchesonamusedasIdancearoundheranswer.“Soundslikethematchmakerneedsamatchmaker,”shesays.
Ilaugh.“I’vegotplentyofthoseinmylife.Besides,Iprefertofocusonmyclients,likeyou.Mytimeandenergyarefocusedonfindingyousomeonecompatible.”
Harperwavesherhandinfrontofher.“Iwasonlywondering!It’sincrediblehowdedicatedyouare.Thisisgoingtobesofun.Ican’twaittoseewhoyou’llfind.”Chapter7
OnFridaymorning,Iexhaleadeepsighofrelief.Isurvivedtheveryfirstweek,whichissayingalot,allthingsconsidered.Istartworkingmywaythroughemailswhenanewonematerializesatthetop.
HelloOlivia,
Ihavetocanceloursessiontoday.Workiskeepingmebusythesedays,andIhavetofocusonthatfornow.I’dalsoliketosuspendfurthersessionsuntilmyscheduleclearsup.Apologiesforthelast-minutenotice.
Regards,
Greg
DamnGregusing“Regards”likewe’recolleaguesinacorporatesetting.I’veknownthemanforayear!Ievenhelpedhimdecidebetweenfestivetiesforhiscompany’sholidayparty!
Thisisthethirdcancellationthisweek.IwanttorevelinasuccessfulonboardingsessionwithHarper,butweneedmoresign-ups.Thetug-of-waronmyemotionswon’tend.
Ontheedgeofmydesk,LunarLove’splannerisfilledwithcrossed-outsessions.Auntiepreferrednottorelyontechnologyforappointmentssowewouldallmarkourmeetingsonthedesignatedplanner.AlishaandInowtrackourclientsessionsdigitally,butwe’restillinthehabitofmaintainingthepapercalendar.Updatingourclientmanagementsystemisyetanotherthingtoaddtomyto-dolist.
IcrossoutGreg’ssession,addingonemoretallytotheseriesofrecentcancellations.Irefusetoletthismoonquakeshakeme.MyminddriftsofftowhatI’mgoingtostress-baketonight.Somethingfudgy.
Needingachangeofsceneryandamoreproductivedistraction,IdecidethattheonlythingthatcanmakemefeelbetterrightnowisaSinglesScouting.WhenIfirststartedworkingatLunarLove,IlearnedaboutthelengthsPóPowouldgotofindclientslove.Shecouldtalkherwayintoandoutofanythingandeverything.Sheoncesecuredtwoinvitestothemembers-onlymagicianclubhouse,TheMagicCastle,forherclientswhowereobsessedwithmagicbyobtainingandcallingtheentirelistofmagicianswhoweresettoperformthatmonth.Sheoffereddatingservicesinexchange.Allbutonemagicianthoughtitwasanillusion,andPóPogotherclientsin.Itwashappyeverafterforallpartiesinvolved,includingthemagician.
Storieslikethathaveinspiredmetobemorehands-on,notonlywithcreatinguniquedatesbutalsoinfindingthematchesthemselves.Ideally,we’repairingLunarLoveclientstogether,butifwedon’thavesomeonealreadyinourdatabasewhomightbeagoodmatchforaparticularclient,Igooutandactivelyfindthemmyself.Therehavebeena
AsIwalkdownthesidewalkindowntownLA,IhabituallycheckmyphonefornewemailsandtapintoalinkfromaGoogleAlertsemailtoseewhat’shappeningwithZodiaCupid.Lookslikethere’sactioninthepress.Newarticlessurfaceaboutthecompanyhopingtoraisefundingfrominvestors.
“We’relookingtoraiseasmallseedround,”saysfounderBennettO’Brien.“We’llbepitchingatPitchIRLinNovember.”O’Briensaysthatthefundingwillbeusedtodoubleitsdesignandengineeringteamsandtoexpandtheirmarketingefforts.Witharolloutstrategyalreadyinplace,heplanstodominateafewmarketsandhonetheirmessaging.“We’reofferingaserviceinthemarketthatwasn’tbeingmet,”O’Briensays.“Ourusersarelookingforrelationshipsthatworkbestfortheirpersonalities.It’sbasedonasystemthat’sbeenaroundforovertwothousandyears.We’rerethinkingonlinedatingandaddinganewlevelofinterest.Lotstocome,soIhopeyou’llstickaround!”
Iftheyraisemoney,they’regoingtobeabletogrowfast.Putusoutofbusinessfast.Ifumequietly.TheblatantdisregardforLunarLoveisinfuriating.Bennettmaycomeoffasadecentpersonwho’sincapableofstealingideasandfakingignorance,yetineveryinterview,hecomesoffasoverconfidentandtactical.Ineedmoreinformationaboutthispitch.
Irememberthatheworksinacoworkingspacedowntown.IstartanewtextmessagetoBennett.
Ijustwrappedupameetingindowntown.Havetimetosayhi?
It’sworthashot.
Whilewaitingforhimtorespond,Idoanotherlaparoundtheblock.WhenBennettsendsmehiscoworkingspaceaddress,Ifast-walkoverthreeblocks.
“Hey,”Bennettsayswhenhemeetsmedownstairs,“thisisanicesurprise.”
“Iwasjustinthearea,”Isaycasually.“Thisisyourcoworkingspace,huh?I’veneverbeeninsideastart-up’sofficebefore.”
“Isthatyourwayofaskingtoseeit?”heasks.
“DoIwanttoseeit?Sure,myschedule’swideopen,”Isay,pretendingtolookatmyphone’scalendarbutinsteadscrollingthroughimagesofPinot.
Bennetthesitatesoutsidethebuilding.“We’reprettybusy.Idon’tknowifthisisagoodidea.”
Ilookpasthisshoulder,exaggeratingmymovement.“Whatareyou,asupervillain?Youhidingsomethingupthere?”
Helooksdramaticallyfromsidetosidetomakesurenoone’slistening.“I’vegotacoupleofblueprintsandtop-secretcodesthatareformyeyesonly.”
“IpromiseIwon’ttellanyonewhatIwitnessorhear.”
Hesighs.“Okay,comeon,”hesays,finallyagreeing.
Threelevelslater,we’rewindingourwaythroughnarrowhallwaysinthecoworkingspace.Bennettgivesmeabrieftourasheshowsmethroughtheoffice.Ipeekintothespacesofotherbusinesses,wheretwo-personteamssitback-to-backspeakingintoheadsets.Iwonderifthebusinesseswillingtopaymoregetthebright,sun-filledroomsclosertothebuilding’stallwindows,printers,andkitchenarea.
TheZodiaCupidheadquarterslooksmorelikeadim,oversizedconferenceroomwherefivedesksarecrammedagainstwalls.It’slocatedinthebackofthebuildingthatsurelyhasneverseensunlight,aboutamilefromthecommonarea.
Intheroomarefourotherswhoareeatinglunchattheirdesks.
“ThisisElmer.He’sinchargeofdevelopment,growth,andpayroll,”Bennettsays,pointingtoamanwearingbrightredglasses.“Andthat’sCarrie,Christof,andJingwen.Theymakeupourdesignandengineeringteams.”Everyonelooksupfromtheirmonitorsandsimultaneouslywaves.
“That’sCarrie’spupandourofficemascot,Elvis,”Bennettcontinues,gesturingtowardasleepingbulldogwhodoesn’tseemtomindmypresence.
“Clearlyherunsatightshiparoundhere,”Ijoke.
“Iblamehimfortheunpaidovertime.ThisiswhereIsit.”Hegesturestowardhisastonishinglycleandesk.Somuchforswipinganyimportantdocuments.
“It’snotwhatIimagined,”Isay,lookingaroundtryingtofindsomething,anything,thatwillgivemeanindicationforwhatthey’relaunchingnext.TheonlyhintofBennettinthisspaceisthecoralsweaterfromthebakingclassdrapedoverhischairinaplasticdrycleaningbag.Notaspeckofmooncakefillingisleft,alltracesofBennett’snicegestureformewipedaway.
“Ilikedthelookofthefilling,butIstartedgettingsomeweirdstaressoIhadtohaveitcleaned,”Bennettsays,catchingmelooking.
“Toobad.Youpulleditoffsowell,”Ijoke.
“CanIknowtherealreasonwhyIhadtopaytwentydollarsfordrycleaning?”heasksinaslightlyamused,curioustone.
Istraightenmyshoulders,carefullythinkingthroughmywordchoice.Colettewasaformerclient,butIcan’ttellhimthat.“ShewassomeoneIusedtoknowalongtimeago,”Ishare.There.Truthfulandvague.
AflashofsurprisecrossesBennett’sface.“She?Soitwasn’tyourex-boyfriend,likeyousaid?”
Great.Mypastlieshavecomebacktohauntme.“No.Itwasn’t.Shewasmybestfriendgrowingup.Butwe’renotfriendsanymore,”Iadmit.
Bennettnodsinunderstanding.“Well,anytimeyouneedanout,I’myourguy.”
Ihuffoutaquietlaugh.“I’llkeepthatinmind.Thisplaceis…sterile,”Iquicklyadd,usingthechangeoftopicsasanopportunitytotakeanothergoodlookattheplace.It’saplain,undecoratedroomstrictlyintendedforbusiness.Nopersonalityonthewallsordesks,exceptonematteblackelectrickettleinthecornerofthebeveragenook.
“Yeah,it’sabitgloomy,buthopefullywe’llbeoutofheresoon.We’reparticipatinginPitchIRLtoattractinterestedinvestors.”
Perfect.Thisismyopening.“Aren’tthosehighlycompetitive?Howareyoufeelingaboutyourchances?”Iask.“Ithoughtyou’dalreadyhavetheins.”Maybehe’snotasseasonedofanentrepreneurasthemediaclaimshimtobe.
“It’snothowI’dnormallygoaboutit,butalocalcollegeishostingtheeventsobusinessstudentscanwatchandlearnhowtopitch.Theyaskedifwewantedtobeinvolved,anditwashardtoturndown.Iwould’velovedtoattendsomethinglikethatwhenIwasinschool.IevengotsomeofmyinvestorbuddiesandformerbusinesspartnerstobeinvolvedfortheQandAattheend.”
WhydoesBennetthavetobesuchagoodguy?It’smakingmylifeverydifficult.
“Whathappensifnooneinvests?”Icontinue.
“Thenwekeeptrying.I’vepouredmysavingsintothisbusiness,sowe’llbeabletokeepgoingforafewmonths.Ultimately,failureisn’tanoption.”
“It’sbetteropticsforustolaunchonorbeforeLunarNewYear,”Elmeradds.“Afterall,it’s,youknow,theholidaythatushersinthenextyear’szodiacanimal.”
“It’sagreattimetolaunch,”Iacknowledgereluctantly.“So,what’severyoneworkingon?”Istepclosertotheengineers’desks,hopingtoseesomethingthatmightprovidesomeclues.There’sjustabunchofcodeagainstdarkscreens.
“We’regearinguptoshipabigfeatureforthebeta.Ifuserslikeit,we’llimproveuponitfortheapp’sofficiallaunch,”Bennettshares.
“Ooh,whatisit?”Iask,makingsuretosoundovereager.
“Ican’tsharethedetailsjustyet,butI’mhopingyou’lllikeit.Thoughwedidrecentlyimplementanalgorithmthatconnectsusersbasedonthegoodfeedbackotherusersgiveafterdates.”Bennettsoundsexcited.“Ifauserislookingforaparticulartrait,let’ssaygoodmannersasanexample,andanotheruserwritesthattheirdatehadgoodmannersinthefeedback,wecanusethatinformationtobetterconnectthemifthefirstmatchdoesn’tworkout.”
Inod,soakingupeverylastword.Inside,Ishrink.Howcanwepossiblykeepupwithanalgorithm?Wearethealgorithm.Iamthealgorithm.
Suddenly,Elmersitsupinhisseatandshouts,“Yes!”Hisredglassessittingontopofhisheadfallinfrontofhisforehead.
“What’vewegot?”Bennettasks,walkingovertoElmer’sdesk.IedgeclosersoIcanseehisscreen.Onhismonitorsarecolorfulgraphsmovinginamostlyupwarddirection,highnumbers,andwell-portionedpiecharts.
“Wejusthitmatchthreethousand!”Elmersays,grinning.
“Thatnumberwillbealothigherwhenwelaunchnationwide.Howcanwegetthatnumberevenhigherbeforethenextpressrelease?”BennettasksashehurriedlyreviewsthedataanalyticschartsonElmer’sscreen.
Ifwesacrificedqualityandcouldworkasfastasanalgorithm,we’dhavethatmanymatches,too.It’squalityoverquantity,Irepeattomyself.
Bennettpumpshisfistintheair.“Andsixtyusersdeletedtheiraccountswithfeedbacksayingtheymatchedandnolongerneedtheservice.”
Oof.Ibethewon’tbehappyaboutthat.Ican’timaginequittingclientsfitsintohisfutureinvestors’businessplan.“Thatfast?”Imumble.Idon’ttrytocontainmysurprisedlook.
Bennettsomehowhearsme.“Youlookshockedbythatnumber,butquittingclientsisagoodthingusually.Itmeansthey’vesuccessfullymatched.We’llbeabletousethisdataforthepitch.Wewantthesemetricsforourmarketingtoattractmoreusers.”
Icanpracticallyseethemoneysignsinhiseyes.
“Whenyoulosepeople—users,sorry—howmuchdoyouanticipatethataffectingyourbottomline?”Iask,cringingatmyownuseofcorporate-speak.“Doyoutrytowinthemback?”
Bennettlooksatmecuriously.Heleansbackandcrosseshisarms.
“Wehavehundredsofpeoplesigninguptobeinthebetaeveryday.It’shardtokeeptrackofthemindividually.Andwhenwelaunch,weanticipatetherebeingwaymoreusers.Eighty-sevenpercentofsurveyedbetausershaveexpressedinterestinupgradingtothepaidservicetogetmoreofourbenefitsoncewehaveitready,”heexplains.“We’redoingwell,butofcoursethere’salwaysroomforimprovement.”
“Isee,”Isay,smilingwanly.Qualityoverquantity.Qualityoverquantity.“Soundslikeeverything’sworkingout.”
“It’s…working.Eitherway,wetrytocelebratemilestonesbothbigandsmall.Yesterdaywecelebratedputtinganewverificationsystemintoeffecttovalidateanimalsigns.Wehadsomedataindicatingthatusersweren’tbeingtruthfulaboutwhotheywereonthesite.Nowweconfirmbirthdaystopreventanyfunnybusiness.YouknowwhatImean?”
“Can’ttrustanyone,”Isay,lookinghimstraightintheeye.Theyhavetoverifybecausetheynevermeetpeopleface-to-faceandgettoknowthem.“Doyouthinkaskingforproofofidentitywillscarepeopleaway?”
“Ifitdoes,good,”hesays.“Ultimately,wewantouruserstochooseusbecausetheywanttofindloveinanhonestandsafeway,evenifthislimitssign-upsorleadstodrop-offs.Itmightsoundobvious,butthesearethelessonswe’relearningaswego.”
“Super,”Isay.“That’sjustsuper.”
“WewantuserstobeintotheChinesezodiac,butnottoointoit,”Elmerchimesinfromacrosstheroom.“Ifuserstrytogetallintrospectiveaboutwhichofthefourzodiacelementstheyare,thenthey’llprobablybedisappointed.”
“Five,”Imurmur.
“What?”Elmerasks.Hepusheshisglassesbackontopofhishead.
“Nevermind,”Isay.It’snotworththeenergy.
Instead,Bennettspeaksup.“Thereareactuallyfiveelements.Metal,Water,Wood,Fire,andEarth.”
“Exactly,”Isay.Ican’ttellifIfeelgoodthatheknowsmorethanIthoughtaboutthezodiac,orworse.
“Uh,yeah.Right,”Elmersays,hisfacematchingthecolorofhisglasses.
DelightsparklesinBennett’seyes.“You’relearning!Lookslikethezodiacbugiscontagious!Thepointis,wewantuserstotrustus.We’retryingtomakeconnections,afterall,”hesays,lookingatmeexpectantly.
“Oh,man.You’vegottaseethis,”Elmersays,histonemoreseriousthanbefore.Hestartsreadingoffhisscreen.“ZodiaCupidisagimmickytakeonacenturies-oldhoroscopesystem…”
BennettandItakeafewstepsbackovertoElmer’sdeskandcrouchtoreadalongwithhim.IfeelmyfaceburningasIscandownthelist.It’smyWhizDasharticle.Butit’stheversionIdeleted.Howisthatpossible?Thatdraftwasnevermeanttobeseenbyotherhumaneyes.WhenAlishasenttheemail,itwasobviouslymyVentDraft—nottheLunarLovearticle—attached.
Alisha’scontactatWhizDashdidn’twasteanytimegettingthisarticleup.RidingthewaveofZodiaCupidpress,probably.TunnelvisiontakesoverasIreadmywordswritteninamomentofpassion.
TenWaysZodiaCupidWillDestroyYourLoveLife
ZodiaCupidisagimmickytakeonacenturies-oldhoroscopesystemthatisbelievedtobetheoldestintheworld.TheonlythingtheappgetsrightabouttheChinesezodiacarethetwelveanimalsigns.Otherthanthat,it’sagenericbrushstrokeanalysisofitsusers.
Whatstopsusersfrommanipulatingthesystemandpretendingtobedifferentsigns?Carefulusers.ThatRabbityou’reflirtingwithmightactuallybeaRat.
Ifyouthinkwinkingisbad,trybeinghissedat.AreyouaSnakeorahuman?Peopledon’tliketobecatcalledat,sowhywouldtheywanttobebarkedat?
Don’tcountonuserstoknowtoomuchabouttheChinesezodiac.Ifyou’reatruebeliever,thisisnottherightplatformforyou.
Usersarematchedbasedonthewordsintheirprofilemorethantheactualtraitsoftheiranimalsigns.What’snew?
Getreadytoask,“Excuseme?Areyouso-and-so?”becauseusershavetouncomfortablyguesswhotheirdatesare.Giveortakeafewprofilepromptsthataresupposedtocapturepeople’spersonalities,theawkwardnessofmeetinginpersonisheightenedbythefactthatduetotheno-photos-allowedpolicy,wehavenoideawhowe’reactuallylookingfor.
Personalitiesaren’tone-size-fits-all.They’reacombinationofthetemperamentwehavefromthebeginningandthecharacterthatwebuildforourselvesthroughourchoicesandbehaviors.ZodiaCupiddoesn’tevenbegintoscratchthesurface.
FullMoons,NewMoons…thisisjustareplacementfortheanxiety-andjudgment-inducingswiping.Won’tpeoplejustbebiasedtowardtheirpreferredanimals?
ToBennettO’Brien,realpeoplebecomeusers,lineitemsinanExcelspreadsheet,andmoneyinhispocket.
ZodiaCupidisadigitalidentitycrisis.Itdoesn’tknowwhoitisorwhatitwantstobe.
“Adigitalidentitycrisis,”Bennettsays,thebrightnessinhisfacedulled.“Ouch.”
“Brutal,”Elmersays.Therestoftheteamshaketheirheads.“Thispersondidn’tevenhavethenervetouseherfirstname.CakeGirl.Whatarewe,infifthgrade?”
LonggonearethedaysofAIMscreennames,yethereweare.
“Youknowyou’redoingitrightwhenpeoplehavestrongreactions,”Bennettsaysinaforcedupbeattone.There’sasmileonhisfacebutit’sobvioushe’snothappy.“Eighty-twopercentofoursurveyedusershavebeenhappywiththeserviceoverall,andthat’swhatmatters.Notthispersonalattackonus.”
“ThisCakeGirlisjusttryingtogetattention,”Elmersayswithagenuinelookofempathy.“Thisisjustthefirstofmanywhowilltrytotearusdown.Don’ttakeitpersonally,man.”
“It’spersonaltome,”Bennettsaysquietly,hismooddeflated.
Thearticleworked.ItworkedbetterthanIthoughtitwould.Iwassuccessful
Shit.
Ishouldn’tfeelupset.Ishouldbethrilledthatmylittleplanisworking.ButthelookonBennett’sfacemakesmefeelotherwise.Hehashishandsstuffedintohispocketsandisslouchinggloomily,andIwishIcouldtakeitback.Control+Z.Unsend.Delete.SomethingIdidhurtthisman,andforsomebafflingreason,thathurtsme.Isuppressasickfeelinginmystomachworkingitswayupmychestandlookaway.
“That’sjustoneperson,”Ifinallysay,tryingtolightenthemoodandchangethesubject.“Yousaidpeoplearehappywiththeservice.That’sgood.”
“Badpresscomeswiththegood.Ishouldbeusedtothis.Itwasonlyamatteroftime,”Bennettsays,pullinghisattentionfromElmer’sscreen.“Andyes.Happyusersarealwaysagoodthing.Areyouhappywiththeservice?WhenyouuseZodiaCupid,orappsingeneral,whatdoyouliketosee?”
Right.Backtobusiness.
Ithinkforamoment.“Iwanttoseelotsofpop-upads.Askmeforreviewsasoftenasyoucan.Themorecookiesthebetter.Givemelotsofpushnotifications.Multisteplogin?Yes,please!”Isay,listingtheworstthingsIcanthinkofoffthetopofmyhead.
AgenuinesmileappearsonBennett’sface,accompaniedbyasmalllaugh.I’mrelievedbythesound.Ifeeltoopowerfulbeingabletomakehimbothsadandhappy.Heraisesoneofhiseyebrows.“Cookies,gotit.I’llmakesureweaddallthatin,”hesaysinthewarmtonehehadbeforereadingmysoul-crushinglisticle.
“Well,thanksforthetour.Ishouldgetgoing,”Isay,wavingtoeveryone.“Nicetomeetyouall.”
“Don’twantanytroublewiththeboss,”Bennettsays.
“She’snottoobad,”Istarttosay,forgettingforamomentthatthebossisinfactmeandnotAuntie.“Actually,she’stoughandhashighstandardsandexpectations.SoIreallyshouldgetbacktoit.”
Bennettwalksmeouttothefrontofthebuilding.Middaytrafficspeedspastusaswestandfacingeachotheronthesidewalk,lingering.
“Beforeyougo,Iknowourfirstdatewasabit…unexpected.Normally,I’djustletitgoandforgetaboutit,buteversincefirstmeetingyouatLuckyMonkey,Ihaven’tbeenabletomakemyselfforget.Aboutyou.”ThreeshadesofpinkbloomacrossBennett’suppercheeks.“Ihadagreattimewithyou,butIwashopingwecouldhavearedo?”
Ibitemyliphesitantly.“Idon’tknowaboutthat…”
“Idon’tlikemakingbadfirstimpressions.Ifeltcompletelyoffguardandunprepared.IknowIcandobetter.”Bennettrunshishandthroughhishair,thestrandslandinginalltherightplacesdespitethebreezefromthepassingcars.“Ofcourse,it’syourcall.IcouldtakeyoutotheplacewhereIgetmybestideas.Oristhatweird?”
Forthelifeofme,Ican’tthinkofanywherethiscouldpossiblybe.Maybeit’sinhiscar,wherehedrivesaroundlookingforotherfifty-year-oldsmallbusinessideastosteal.“I’lladmitI’mintrigued,but…”
“It’suptoyou,”Bennettsays.Heshylygrins,andmyheartrisesinmychestlikeasoufflé.
Idebatethis.I’mtryingtolearnmoreabouthiscompany,notdatehim.Buttoday’simpromptuofficevisitwasactuallyfruitful.NowIknowthere’sabigfeaturecoming.That’ssomethingthepressreleasesdidn’tshare.Afterthisarticledebaclethough,itfeelswrongtokeepseeinghim.UnlessIcanusethattimetotellhimwhoIam.Aguiltweedhasstartedgrowingrootswithinme,andIneedtoripthemout.Ijusthopethedamageisn’tirreparable.
“Okay.Sure.Let’sdoit,”Isayapprehensively.
MyagreementwinsmeadimpledsmilefromBennett,andmychoicefeelsliketherightone.“Really?Okay!HowaboutIpickyouuptonight,let’ssayatLuckyMonkey?Seventhirtyp.m.?”
“Tonight?”Iask.“Ididn’trealizeitwouldbetonight.”
“Wecoulddotomorrownightifthatworksbetter?”Bennettsuggests.
I’llbeexhaustedaftertomorrow’spodcastinterview.Ifwedoittonight,IcanusewhatIlearntocraftbettertalkingpointsandexplaintohimwhoIambeforemyidentityisrevealedonthepodcast.
“Tonight’sfine,”Isay.
Bennettexhalesandsmiles.“That’sreallygreat!Seeyoulater.”
Iwavegoodbye,mybreathcatchinginmychest.SavingLunarLoveisgoingtobeliketryingtogrowpeoniesinthewinter.AndI’mnogardener.Chapter8
Thatnight,BennettpicksmeupfromLuckyMonkeyaspromised.HedrivesusoutpastPasadenainhisoldFordMustangconvertiblethatlookslikeitshouldstillbeintheshopwithitshalf-paintedandpatchybody.
“Isthiscarroad-safe?”Iask,grippingthefrontofmyseat.Mywavedhairliftsinthewindasweflydownthehighway.
“Ofcourseit’sroad-safe,”Bennettsays.“Justrememberwhenyouejectthroughthewindshield,youwanttogoheadfirst.Youdon’twanttoslowthingsdownbecausethenthere’sachanceyoumightsurvive.Andyoudon’twanttosurvivesomethinglikethat.”
Itightenmyseatbeltovermylap.
“That’sjusttokeepupappearances,”hejokes.
Irunmyhandoverthecream-coloredleatherseat.“Thearticlefromearlier,”Isaytentatively,“I’msorryaboutthat.Thatwasalot.”
Bennettcastshiseyesinmydirectionandshakeshishead.“Youhavenothingtobesorryabout.Anotherarticle,agoodone,cameoutshortlyafter,soinawaytheykindofcanceleachotherout,Iguess.”
“I’mglad,”Isay,staringstraightaheadatthestreamofglowingredtaillights.
We’vepassedthreedifferentexitswhenIstartshoutingoutcluesontrafficsignsforwherewemightbegoing,butBennettrefusestoanswermyguesses.MaybehefiguresoutwhatideastostealatadumplingrestaurantintheSanGabrielValleyoratanartmuseum.Atthishour,though,museumsareclosing.IleanbackagainstthecarseatandsearchforstarsagainsttheOctobernightsky.Ionlyfindthequietappearanceofthemoonwithaglowinghalfhalo,itsilluminationgainingstrengthastheminutespass.
Bennetttapshishandagainsthislegtoanimaginarysong,keepinghiseyessafelyontheroad.Whenheslowsthecarandpullsintoanoutdoordrive-inmovietheater,I’mslightlyconfused.Bennettpaysforourticketsandisinstructedbyamaninaneonorangevestwheretopark.
“Thedrive-in?Thisiswhereyougetyourbestideas?”IaskdisbelievinglyasIwatchcarslineupinfrontofamassivescreen.I’vebeentricked!
“Iwasn’tkidding!”Bennettturnsthewheelintoourspot.“Movieshelpmegetoutofmyownhead.Mythoughtsareclearesthere.”
“Clearestwhenyou’rewatching…”Ilookoverattheposteroftonight’sscreening.“…PracticalMagic?”
“Agoodmovietransports,”Bennettsays,undoinghisseatbelt.“Thisone’switchy,andit’swhathappenstobeshowingtonight.Haveyouseenit?”
“Ihave.It’sgood,”Isaynonchalantly.Iwatchiteverysingleyearinthelead-uptoHalloween,buthedoesn’tneedmoredatapointsonme.
Bennettreachesbehindhisseattograbsomething.“Dinner,”hesays,holdingupabrownpaperbagwithplasticcontainerspiledtothetop.
“Don’ttheysellfoodhere?”Iask.
“Iwantedtopreparesomethingspecialforyou.”Bennettsetsthecontainersontopofthedashboard.Hepassesmeapaperplateandwoodenchopsticks.“Andthiswayweknowwhatthefoodwe’reeatingisactuallymadeof.”
Throughtheplastic,Ispotrolledriceandseaweed,butitcan’tbewhatitlookslike.“Isthat,”Isay,leaningclosertothecontainers,“sushi?”
“Handmade.Ialsobroughtpopcorn,PeanutM&Ms,Twix,andRedVinesfordessert.Thecandyhereiswayoverpriced.”
“Right.SothisiswhereyoucameupwithyourideaforZodiaCupid?”IaskasBennettremovesthelidsoffthecontainers.
“No,thatwassomewheredifferent.”
“Isee.Thenwhatkindofideasdoyougethereforyourbusiness?”Iprobe.Tonightcannotbeawaste.“Isthiswhereyouthoughtuptheideaforthismysteriousproductlaunchhappening?”
“Allmybestones,andactually,yes.Butyoustillhavetowaittofindoutwhatthatoneis.”Heignoresmygroanofprotestandreachesforthebagofcandy,settingitbetweenus.
Ilooktowardthebackseat.“Anychanceyou’vegotaslushiemachinebackthere?”
“Yousuredoaskalotofquestions,don’tyou?”hesayswithalaugh.“Ilikethataboutyou.Onesecond.”Hejumpsoutofthecar.Iwatchhimruntotheconcessionstandandreturnwithlargeblueraspberryslushiesineachhand.“I’llsplurgeforslushies.”
Ipokethestrawintotheblueicyslush.“Anychanceyou’vegotamoneymachinebackthere,too?”Iask.
“Ifonly,”Bennettsays,resettlingintothedriver’sseat.Hetwistsabuttonontheradiotofindtherightstationforthemovie.
“Doesthisradioevenwork?”Iaskinateasingtone.
“It’sthefirstthingIfixed,”hesays.
Thescreeninfrontofuslightsup,shininglightontothehoodsofeveryone’scars.“Youdidn’thavetohandmakesushi!Thismusthavetakenyousolong,”Isay,pickingupapieceofsushiwithmychopsticksandbitingintoit.“Whoa.What’sthatflavor?”
Bennettrollsupthesleevesofhisslate-graysweaterandwatchesasItrytofigureouttheflavorpairing.“It’spumpkin,sage,andbrownbutter,”hefinallysays.
“Sage!Yes,that’sit.Unexpected.Idon’tstraytoofarfrommyusualsushisuspects.Thisisdifferent.”Itakeanotherlookatthecenterofthesushi.Softgrainsofricewraparoundcookedpumpkinwithmincedfreshsageandbrownbutter,thecrispydarkseaweedexterioraddingasaltyfinish.
“Iknowit’sunconventional,butIthinktheflavorsreallyworkwelltogether.”Bennettpopstheentirepieceofsushiintohismouth.
“Theysurprisinglydo.It’snice,actually,”Iacknowledge.
Bennettsmiles.“I’mhappyyoulikeit.”
Wewatchtheopeningsceneofthemovieaswealternatebetweenbitesofsushiandsipsofslushie.There’sacomfortablesilencebetweenusasweeat.
“CanItellyousomething?”IwhispertoBennett.
“Okay,”hewhispersback.
“I’vealwayswantedtoexperienceadrive-inmovie.”
“Ihopeit’stoyoursatisfaction.”
“Fourandahalfstars,”Isay.
“That’smyhighestreviewyet,”hesaysgratefully.
Itrytostiflealaugh.“Whyarewewhispering?We’renotinatheater,”Icontinuespeakingquietly.
“ThenIcandothis?”BennettripsopenthebagofPeanutM&Msandcrunchesahandfulofcandybetweenhisteeth.
“Andthis.”IchompdownontheTwixbarbutthere’shardlyasound.
“Shhh!”hesaysplayfully.
Amusementbubblesupinsideofme.Ihugmyarmsaroundmybody,mysweatertheonlybarrieragainstthecooleveningair.Bennettpullstwoblanketsfromthebackseatandoffersmeone.
“Thanks.You’relikeamagician,”Isay,acceptingtheblanket.
“Icomeprepared.”Bennettholdshisblanketinfrontofhim,shieldinghisfacebeforedroppingitandduckingasthoughhe’sdisappeared.
“Impressive,”Itease,fluffingtheblanketovermylap.Theglowfromthescreenilluminateshisface.
“What’syourfavoritemovie?”Bennettasks.
“Ican’tpickjustonemovieasafavorite,”Isay.“LoveStoryforagoodcry,ToCatchaThiefforloveinastunningsetting,10ThingsIHateaboutYouforthedialogue,anythingandeverythingbyNoraEphron.Itdependsonmymood.”
“Greatchoices.Youcouldbeinthelovebusiness.”Bennettgrabsahandfulofpopcorn.“Soyouprefertherom-comclassics?”heasksbeforeIhavetorespond.
Irunmyhandalongtheedgeofthestripedblanketandnod.“Ido.Thehumorwaswittier,lessvulgar.”
“Icouldn’tagreemore.Moviesnowhavetoinvolvecapesandpowersorover-the-topvisualstobeahit.Isittoomuchtoasktowatchregularpeopletryingtofigureoutlife?”
“Moviesnowarealiteralescapefromreality.Buttome,lovestoriesarethebestescape.What’syourfavoritemovie?”Iask,takingasipofslushie.
“Don’tlaugh,butit’sBig,”Bennettreveals.
“WhyBig?”Iask,assumingit’sbecausehe’sinsuchahurrytogettotheenddestination.
Bennettsitsbackagainstthedriver’sseat,placinghisarmuponthewindow.“Iwatchedthatmoviesomanytimes,thinkingabouthowcoolitwouldbetoturnintoanadultovernight.AllIwantedtodowasgrowup.”
“WereyoutryingtogrowuptoimpressagirlandrideontheadultrollercoasterslikeTomHanksdidinthemovie?”Iprod.“Orwereyoutryingtorushtothefinishline?ItwouldbeveryRat-likeofyou.”
Bennettrestshisfreehandonthesteeringwheel.“Yes,it’strue,theRatwontheGreatRace.”
“TheRatplayedtricksontheotheranimalstosecurehisfirst-placespot.Hegothisfreerideonthebacksofothers—”
“LiketheOxwhohelpedhimcrosstheriver,”Bennettinterjects.
“Um,yes,that’sright,”Isay,surprisedbyhowmuchheactuallydoesknow.“ThenhejumpedontolandbeforetheOxcouldmovefastenoughtogettothefinishline.Igoogledthisoutofcuriosity.”
“Uh-huh.Well,soundslikeasmartanimaltome,”Bennettsays,smiling.“Youdon’tthinkthat’sallamyth?”
“Iliketobelievethere’satinybitoftruthtoit,”Isay.“Whetherit’slegendorthezodiacitself,thesearebiggerconceptsforpeopletobelievein.Tofindcomfortandreasonsforwhythingsarethewaytheyare.Awaytomakesenseoftheworld.”
Hequicklyblinksafewtimes.“AndyouthinkBigbeingmyfavoritemoviehassomethingtodowith…theGreatRacesomehow?”
Ishrug.“Youtellme.”
Bennettraiseshislefteyebrow.“IwantedtobebiggerbecauseIhadaprettytoughchildhood.Ibecameobsessedwithanythingthatpromisedanescape,”heexplains,awaveofsadnessseeminglywashingoverhim.Heclearshisthroat.“MymomdiedwhenIwassix.”
“Oh,”Iwhisper,mypulsequickening.IreddenwithshameforalltheassumptionsIcarelesslymade.FortheconclusionsIjumpedtoinmyarticle.SomuchforVentDrafting.“I’msosorry,Bennett.Ican’timaginehowhardthatmust’vebeen.”
Bennettspeakstowardthescreen,thecreasesbetweenhiseyebrowsdeepening.Withhisprofilefacingme,IcanlookathimforaslongasIwant.“WhenI’daskmydadabouther,he’djustgetsadandchangethesubject.Hecouldn’tfeelhiswaythroughthepaintoteachme.Igrewupwantingtoknowwhoshewas,whatherfavoriteflowerwas,whatkindofmusicshelistenedtowhenshedidthelaundry…wouldshebeproudofthemanI’vebecome?”Hegruntssoftly.
“I’msureshe’dbeproudofyou,”Isay.Evenwiththeslushie,mythroatfeelsdrywhenIswallow.MyheartpoundssohardIwouldn’tbesurprisedifitburstitswaythroughmychestandflungitselfovertheconvertible’swindshield.Hishonestyonlyremindsmeofmyownlies.Theweightofmysecretislikearollingsnowballgatheringmoreandmoresnow.Ican’tkeeppushingofftellinghimwhoIam.Heneedstoknowthetruth.
Bennettglancesoveratmewithsadeyes.“Everyonehandlestheirgriefdifferently.Thatwashisway,”hesays,justifyinghisfather’sactions.
Istayquiet,listeningtohimopenup.
“Iwassomadthatshewastakenawayfromus,”hecontinues.“TakenawayfrommeandthatIknewnothingabouther.IfeltlikeIlostcontrol.”Bennettkeepshistonesteady.“IspentweekendsatthelibrarylearningeverythingIcouldaboutmyculturesoIcouldfeellikeshewasalittlemorefamiliar.Alittlelessgone.Itookbackcontrol.”
“Whichishowyouknowsomuchaboutthezodiac,”Isay,moretomyselfthantohim.
“IonlyexperienceditthroughLunarNewYearpartiesandchildren’sbooksupuntilIwassix,butthatwassolongagoIhardlyremember.Itaughtmyselftherest.I’mstilllearning.”Bennett’sexpressionisunreadable.“Ibecameobsessedwiththingsthatweretangible,inmyhandsorinmymind.”
“Likedata,”Isay.
Bennettdipshishead.“Numbersdon’tlietoyou;theydon’tmakefunofyou.They’rereliable.”Helaughssomberly.“Afewyearsago,Ifoundmymom’sdiaries.”
“Andyoureadthem?”Iask.
“Idid,”hesays,aflickerofguiltflashingacrosshisface.
“I’ddothesame,”Iconfess.“Ihaveatheorythatpeoplewritediariessothattheirchildrendiscoverandreadthem.It’sawayofdocumentinghistoryandtobeseenwhentimehaswipedthememoriesofusaway.”
Bennettrelaxes.“Ihopeso.ShewrotealotabouthowimportanttheChinesezodiacwastoherandhowithelpedherunderstandherselfasawoman,asawife,asamother.”
“Well,Ithinkthat’spoetic.Youlearnedaboutyourmomthroughherownwords.Inthewaythatshewould’vewantedyoutoknowher.”
Bennettnods.“Whatsurprisedmemostwasthatsheusedthezodiactolearnmoreaboutherself.Historyinformingthepresent.Shewasn’tsostrictaboutcompatibilityandwhobelongswithwho.”Heflashesmehiscrookedsmile,andunderthenavysky,itlooksmorepronounced.Itnearlymeltsmyheart.“Honestly,sheandmydadwereincompatible,buttheyhadthehappiestmarriage.Ialwaysfounditfascinatingthattheywereincompatibleonpaperbutstillhadthebestrelationship.”
“Isee,”Isay,lookingdownatmyblanketedlap.
“It’snotlikenowIknoweverything,”hesays.“Butitwasastartingpointtolearningmoreaboutwhoshewas.Andinaway,whoIwas.That’swhythearticlewassoupsettingearlier.I’vefeltlikeawalkingidentitycrisisformostofmylife,anditwascalledout.”
ThebestIcandoismusterupthecouragetonod.It’saweakattempt,butit’sbetterthannothing.
Bennettlooksupatthemoon.“YouwantedtoknowwheretheideaforZodiaCupidcamefrom.Mymother.”
Mystomachtwistsintoknots.Nowisnottherighttimetotellhimthetruth.Exposingmyselfwillhavetowait.
“Sorry,I’mbeingabigbummerrightnow,”Bennettadds.“Idon’tusuallysharethiswithpeople.KindofahabitIpickedupfrommydad.”
“No,I’mgladyoutoldme,”Isay.AllIwanttodoismakehimfeelbetter.What’shappeningtome?Instead,Ijustgripmyslushietighter.“Thankyouforsharingsuchanimportantpartofyourlifewithme.Animportantpartofyou.”
Bennettnodsandlooksdownathishands.“IwatchedBigshortlyafter,andwell,fromthenon,IbeggedmydadtotakemetotheamusementparkeveryweekendsoIcouldfindthatfortune-tellermachineinreallife.”
“Also,TomHanks.”Inudgehimgently.“Youcan’tgowrongwithanymoviethathasTomHanksinit.”
“He’sthe,whatisthetermpeopleuse?G.O.A.T.?”hesayswithahintofsarcasm.
“He’saGoat?”Iask,tryingtomakehimlaugh.“When’shisbirthday?”
“No,theGreatestofAllTime,”hesays,grinning.
“Oh,right,ofcourse,”Iagree.“He’ssuchagoat.”
IcansenseBennettwatchingmeintently.EmotionsstirinsidemethatIhaven’tfeltinalongtime.Ialmostdon’trecognizemyself.WhydoIwanttohughimandnotstranglehimrightnow?
Aheadofusonthescreen,SandraBullockrunsintotowntokissthemansheloves.AchillrunsthroughmeattheawarenessofmyproximitytoBennett.
Bennettadjustsinhisseatandsays,“DidyouknowthatThomasEdisonwasresponsibleforthefirston-screenkissinamovie?”
Hisfunfactcomesoutofnowhere,andIdissolveintolaughter.Hismoodseemstolift.
“Itwas1896,”hecontinues,“duringatimewhenkissingpubliclywasscandalous.Peoplewentwildforit.It’shardtocalculatethepercentagesofhowmanychemicalsarereleasedwhentwopeoplekiss,likeoxytocin,serotonin,anddopamine,but—”
“Hey,Bennett,”Isay,stillsmiling.
“Sorry,you’retryingtowatchthemovie,”hesays,shiftinghisposition.
“No,it’snotthat.Iknowthere’salothappeningwithchemicalsinthebrainwhenpeoplekiss,butwhatthey’retryingtoportrayupthereisarelationship.Here,givemeyourhand,”Isay.
Bennettskepticallyreacheshishandtowardme.
Atfirst,Ihesitatebutthengrabhishandinthenameofprovingapoint.“Doyoufeelthat?”
“DoIfeelwhat?”heasks,lookingatmyhandontopofhis.Thetipsofmyfingersgrazeagainsthisknuckles.
“Asensationrunningthroughyourbody?”Orisitjustme?“That’snotnumbersanddata.It’saconnectionbetweenhumans.That’swhatmatters.”
Bennettdipshishead.“Right.Connection.”Heflipshispalmup,andourfingerslockintoplace.
“Whentwopeoplefindeachotherandconnect…it’saninexplicablekindofmagic,”Isay.
Itisn’tuntilBennettgivesmyhandalightsqueezethatIrealizeourhandsarestilltouching.Iquicklypullmyhandawayandtuckbothbetweenmylegs.Bennettdrawshishandbackandrestsitonhisknee.
“TheonlymagicI’musedtoistheonethathappenswhennumbersproperlyadduporhowdatacangiveyougreaterinsightintomakingbetterdecisionsandproducts.Throughdata,wecanbetterunderstandpeople,”Bennettexplains.
Ishakemyhead.Ittakestimetoreallyknowsomeone.Compatibilitydoesn’tjustmagicallyhappenthroughcomputercode.“Notcompletely.”
Ilooktowardthemoviescreen,pretendingtobeparticularlyinterestedinthescene.Wecastsideglancesateachothereveryfewseconds.
BennettgrabsthePeanutM&Msandtiltsittowardmeinanoffering.“Here,youcanhavetherest,”hesays,givingthebagofcandyalittleshake.
“Areyousure?Idon’thaveanythingtoexchangeforit,”Ijoke,“unlessyoulikemeltedslushie.”
There’saglimmerofamusementinBennett’seyesasheplacesthecandyintothepalmofmyhand.“BeingherewithyouisallIneed.”Chapter9
There’sbeenaslightchangeofplans.Nobigdeal.Apparentlyoneofthepanelistsdroppedout,andshe’sbeingreplaced.Iknowyoudidyourresearchoneveryonetoaskthemspecificquestions,butyoumayneedtoimprovisealittle,”Alishasaysreassuringly.WestandtogetherbackstageatTheTheatreatAceHotel,waitingforthelivepodcasttostart.
“Doyouknowwhoitis?”Iasksuspiciously.Pleasedon’tletitbeBennett.
“Theydidn’tsay.It’ssupposedtobeanall-womenpanel,though,”shesays,asthoughreadingmymind.“Therewillbefourofyouupthere.”
Ipushdownthegrowingstressaboutmyarticlethatwassentoutyesterday.Sinceitwentlive,it’sbeensharedaroundonsocialmedia…alot.TheonlyreasonIknowisbecauseLunarLovehasneverbeentaggedsomanytimesbefore.GoodforLunarLove.BadforBennett.
Stilldialedintothesamewavelength,Alishaadds,“It’sagoodthingyoumadethatarticleanonymouswithCakeGirl.Ithoughtitreadalittleharsh,butit’snotlikeZodiaCupidisplayingfair.WhenIsearchedthroughthefolders,that’stheonlyoneIfound.Ishould’vecheckedwithyoubeforeIsentitout.I’msosorry.”
Iwince.“Youhavenothingtobesorryabout.Itwascompletelymyfault.Ishouldneverhaveputmyemotionsonpaperlikethat.Itwas…awful.”
“Hopefullyit’lljustdisappearinafewdays,”Alishasays.“MaybeBennettwon’tevenseeit.He’sbusy,right?”
Notquite.Iknowhe’salreadyseenit.Ihadtowatchitliveinrealtimeashetookinthewords.WordsthatIwrote.Eveniftheyweren’tmeanttobeputoutintotheuniverse,theywere.Andthat’sonme.
Iacknowledgeheroptimismandattempttorefocusonbeingexcitedfortheafternoon.Today,IgettofocusonpromotingLunarLoveandalltheworkwe’redoingtohelppeoplefindlove.
“Ineedtocompartmentalize.Rightnow,allIcareaboutaremytalkingpoints.”Isneakalookoutintothegildedtheaterandgawkatitscarvedcolumnsandintricateplasterwork.Excitementslowlyovertakesmyanxiety.“Ican’tbelievewe’rehere,inthisvenue.Ifeellikearockstar.Howdidthiseventattractsomanypeople?”
“It’saboutloveanddatinginLosAngeles,”Alishasays,“andpeopleneedguidance.”
“True.How’smyhair?”Iask,runningmyhandthroughthestrandstofluffmyloosewaves.
“Wavesstillintact,”Alishasays.“Closeyoureyes.Okay,allset,noeyelinerormascarasmudges.Ihaveblottingpaperinmypurseifyouneedany.”
Ipeekoutfrombehindthecurtainatthegrowingcrowd.
“IkeepgettingbombardedwithZodiaCupidsponsoredads,”Alishasayswithasighdirectedtowardherphone.“That’swhatyougetforlookingatsomethingonce.HowdoIreportthem?”
“YourexpertiseisgoingtobeusefulwhenLunarLovefinallygoessocial,”Isay.“Socialmediaisthebiggest,mostimmediatemovewecanmakerightnow.I’mgladIsecuredthesocialmediahandlesforLunarLovemonthsago.”WithoutAuntieknowing,ofcourse,sinceshedismissedtheideaofsocialmediaasvainandself-serving.
WhileIsharePóPo’sandAuntie’ssentimentsaboutonlinedating,Iampro–socialmedia.LunarLovemayhavethrivedonwordofmouthinAuntieandPóPo’stime,butnowpeoplearemovingonline.No.They’vebeenonline.Andweneedtomeetthemwheretheyare.Iwanttoleanintothetraditionalelementsofourbusiness,butit’stimepeopleknowweexist.Wecanusedigitalmarketingtobringpeoplebacktoin-personconnections.That’sthegoalanyway.
“Forsure!ItlookslikeZodiaCupidisreallyplayinguptheanimalangleandprovidingtraitfunfacts,”Alishaanalyzes.
“Weneedtobedifferent.”
“Wecanshareourfavoritequotesaboutlove!”Alishasays.
“Andthemoon!Icansharesongsandlyricsfrommymoonplaylist,”Ioffer.
Alishaside-eyesme.“Wait,doyoureallyhaveamoon-themedplaylist?”
“Ofcourse!LotsofBillieHoliday,StevieNicks,andEllaFitzgerald.It’sthesoundtracktomymatchmaking.Italsodoublesastheperfectbackgroundmusicforbaking,”Iexplain.“Whatdoyouthinkaboutpushingthehashtag#LoveInTheMoonlight?Ourclientscantagusondatestheygoon,andwecanrespondwithafirst-datemoon-themedsongorsomething.Ihaven’tworkedouttheexactdetails.”
“Ooh,lovethat.Interactive.Doingahashtagcampaigncanbeagreatwayforpeopletolearnaboutusandbuildcommunity,”sheconfirms.“Lookatusbeingmoremodern.”Wesnickertoeachother.
Aproducercallsoutsomething,andAlishasqueals.“I’llleaveyoube.Enjoytheviewfromthestage.Goodluck!”shesays.
“Thanks!Seeyouafter,”Isay,takingadeepinhaletocalmmynerves.AlishawindsherwaythroughthegrowingcrowdtoRandall,whohassecuredfront-rowseatsinashowofsupport.Icrossmyarmsovermystomachtoself-soothe.IclosemyeyesandtrytothinkofsomethingcalmingwhenamemoryofbeingcurledupnexttoBennettatthedrive-ininterruptsmymeditation.Asenseofcalmwashesoverme.Guiltshortlyfollows.
Whenthispodcastepisodeairstoday,BennettwillknowwhoIam.Somuchforonlycaringaboutmytalkingpoints.Ineedtospeaktohimfirst.Ireachformyphoneandcraftashorttextmessage:Hi!Doyouhaveasecond?Havesomethingtotalktoyouabout.
Thetimingisn’tideal,butIhavetotellBennettwhoIreallyamforrealthistime.Icandealwithhisreactionlater.Nobigdeal.I’msurehe’llunderstand,beingafellowsmallbusinessowner.Ihope.ThenIcanconcentrateondoingthispodcast.ThisismyfirstbitofpressforLunarLove,andIcan’tletdistractionsderailmyfocus.
IturntofindMarcus,theDatinginLaLaLandhostandmoderator,approaching.He’sdressedinasharpnavysuitandsmellsstronglyofcologne.
“Olivia!Areyouready?Inevergettodressuplikethis.Usuallywe’reinsweatsbehindamicrophone,”Marcussaysinapeppytone.
“Oh,true!”Ilaughnervously,sneakingalookatmyphoneforaresponsefromBennett.
“Thanks,bytheway,foryourflexibilitywiththeslightchange,”hesays.“Theproducersthoughtitmightbefuntogetadialoguegoingaboutloveandmatchmaking.”
“Ofcourse!I’mexcitedtomeeteveryone.”Istandupstraighter,pullingatthesleeveofmyplaidblazer.
“Absolutely.Sohowthiswillworkis,I’llintroduceeveryonewhenI’monstage,andthenyoucomeoutwhenyournameiscalled.Simpleenough,right?”Marcussaysashecrackshisknuckles.
“Canyourepeatthat?Idon’tthinkIfollowed,”Ijoke.“Kidding,justkidding.”Igulpmynervesdown.NothingyetfromBennett.
“Actually,wouldyoumindrepeatingthat?Iwastoldwe’dgetourownsongtowalkoutto,”adeepvoicebehindmesays.
Myeyeswidenatthesoundoftheperson’svoice.
Marcusgrins.“Ah!Here’sthelast-minutefill-innow.Allowmetointroduceyoutwo.Olivia,BennettjuststartedZodiaCupid.”
No,no,no.
“AndBennett,meetOlivia.She’sthenewownerofLunarLove,”Marcussays,articulatingeveryword.BeforeIcanstophim,he’sexposedme.Thereitis.Thetruth’sout.
“Ithoughtthiswassupposedtobeanall-womenpanel,”IwhispertoMarcusbetweengrittedteeth.
“Theladieswereachedouttowereunavailable.Bennettgenerouslycanceledhisafternoontojoinus.We’llhavetofindanotherangletomarketthisepisode,”Marcusexplainscasually,likehehasn’tjustblownmycoverandsetfiretomyplans.“I’llallowyoutwotogetacquainted,butkeepyourearsoutforyourname.Theaudiencemaygettestyiftheyhavetowaittoolong.”Hetakesoffbeforeeitherofussayanything.
IslowlyspintoseeBennettlookingatmewithanunreadablelookinhiseyes.Forsecondsthatfeellikehours,westareateachother,speechless.
“Wehavetostopmeetinglikethis,”Bennettfinallysays.“Iassumethat’swhatyourcryptictextmessagewasabout?”
“I—”Istart.“Iwasgoingtotellyou.I’mnowinchargeofLunarLove.”
AdeepblushspreadsacrossBennett’scheeks.Ohno,he’smad.
Mystomachflips.Ishould’vetoldhimlastnight,especiallyafterhowhonesthewaswithme.Ifheneverwantedtoseemeagain,I’dunderstand.Pleasesaysomething,Bennett.I’lltakeanyvowel,verb,orexpletiveyouwanttothrowmyway.I’mready.
MyapologyisonthetipofmytonguewhenBennettmeeklysays,“Iknow.”
“Youknow…”Itrailoffconfused,waitingforhimtofinishmysentence.“Whatdoyouknow?”
Bennettlooksatmewithcarefuleyes.“Iknowwhoyouare.”
Ichokedownmy“sorrys”and“Imeanttotellyous.”Iwasnotreadyforthat.They’rejustfivesimplewords,buttheyhitmelikeameteor.
“Wait.What?”Ifinallysay.Ifeeltheblooddrainfrommyface.
Someonefrombehindthecurtainshouts,“Placeseveryone!”Onstage,MarcusgivesanopeningspeechbutIcan’tprocessfullwordsinthismoment.
“Idon’tunderstand,”Isay,mymindrunningthroughallthedifferentscenarios.Atwhatpointdidhefindout?Ordidheknowthisentiretime?Whywouldn’thehavetoldme?“DidyouknowwhoIwaswhenwemetatLuckyMonkey?Iknewyouwerespyingonme!”
“What?No!Ididn’tknowwhoyouwereuntiltheendofthebakingclass,”hecalmlyexplains.
“YouknewwhoIwasalmosteverytimewesaweachother,andyoudidn’ttellme?Why?Whydidyouaskmeoutlastnight?”Iask,processingitall.WashetryingtofinishoffLunarLove?Ishetryingtostealmoreofourideas?IletmyguarddownforonenightsothisRatcouldmanipulateme.Iknowbetter
Bennettlooksdownatthefloor.“Iwasthrownoff.Ireallywastestingouttheapponourfirstdate.AfterhavingjustseenyouatLuckyMonkey,Idon’tknow,itwasweird.Whenyoustartedbombardingmewithquestions,itclicked.IbroughtupLunarLovetoseeifyou’dbite,butyoudidn’t.Icaughtontowhatyouwereuptowhenyoupretendedtowanttoseemyoffice,andIdecidedtojoinin.Knowingwhoyouweremadeiteasiertotakeariskandaskyouout.Ihadallthefacts.Itmadememorecomfortable.”
Iliftmyeyebrowsinsurprise.“Youhadallthefactsonmesoyoufeltincontrol?That’swhyyouaskedmeout?”
“No,thatdidn’tcomeoutright.I—”
“Andwhatdoyoumeanitclicked?HowdoyouevenknowwhoIam?”Iask,mytoneedgier.
“Hey,rememberthatyouliedtome,too,”Bennettsays.“You’realsocomplicitinwhateverthisis.ForallIknow,youcould’veknownwhoIwasbeforeourfirstdate.”Hescruncheshisforeheadinthought.“Wait.Didyou?”
“DidIwhat?”Isayobliviously.
“DidyouknowwhoIwasbeforeourfirstdate?”
Caughtagain.Ibitemylip.“IknewwhoyouweresincetheMatchedwithLoveconference,okay?”Isay,finallyconceding.“Youwerethereyammeringonabouthowoppositescanattractandhandingoutbetacodesandsurprisinglysofteco-fleecelikecandy.”
Bennettstudiesmyface.“ThatwasyouIwasdebatingwith?”
Ilookpasthisshouldertoavoidmakingeyecontactwithhim.
“Goodforyou.Youhadmefooled.Soyou,what,sawmeattheconferenceandthenpurposelyusedmyapptomatchwithme?”hesaysinaslightlyjokingtone.
Idon’tanswer.
Hismouthdropsopen.“No…way.AndhereIamthinkingfateplayedarole.”
Asmallsnickertumblesout.Wemayhavecoincidentallyrunintoeachotheratthebakery,butwewerebroughttogetherbecauseofmymatchingabilities.Sure,theymayhavebeenonhisapp,butthat’sbesidethepoint.
“Fate?Please.Iamfate,”Imumble.Iregreteverwantingtotellhimthetruth.
Outofnowhere,Bennettbreaksintolaughter,hisentirebodyshudderinginamusement.
“Youthinkthisisfunny?”Iask,lookingaroundatthestareswe’reattracting.
“IlaughsoI’mnotcompletelyfreakedout.Webothliedsowecouldseemoreofeachother,”Bennettsays.
“Idon’tknowifthat’strue,”Isay,thoughthisisn’tentirelyaccurate.Partofmedidwanttoseehimagain,andnowafterthis,we’llprobablyneverseeeachotheragain.That’sadiscomfortingthought.
Bennettpressesahandagainsthischest.“You’reactinglikeI’mthebadguyhere.Youdorealizehowmanipulativewhatyoudidwas,right?”
Icrossmyarms,probablylookingpoutyandpetty,butIdon’tcare.“You’reright.Inevershould’vetriedtomatchwithyou,”Isay,exasperated.“NowyouknowhowIknowwhoyouare.HowdoyouknowwhoIam?”
“Weshouldtalkaboutthisafter,”Bennettsays,remainingcalm.“I’llexplaineverything.”
“No.We’regoingtotalkaboutthisrightnow.MytakingoverLunarLovehasn’tbeenannouncedyetpublicly.Infact,todayistheannouncement.Youwould’vefoundoutonceyouheardthepodcast.DidMarcusgiveyoualistofpanelistswithourtitles?”
“Hedidn’t,”Bennettsaysmatter-of-factly.
“ThentellmehowyouknowwhoIam,”Icommand,growinginconfidence.
Bennettpusheshishandsintohisdarkjeanpocketsandlooksoveratthecrimsonvelvetcurtain.“Ican’treallysay,”hemumbles.
Iclosethedistancebetweenus.Hismuskyscentsweepsovermeandchipsawayatmyassurance.Howdareheunnervemelikethat!
“What,didyoutakeabloodoath?Bennett,”Isaysternly,“tellme.”
Hiseyesscrunchasheprocessessomething.“Iknowaboutyou,”hestartsslowly,“becauseofyourPóPo.”
“PóPoasin…JuneHuang?”Iaskwithalaugh.“No,seriously.That’snotfunny.”
Bennettnods.“Seriously.”
Istumbleback.“Whatthe—”
“OliviaHuangChristenson,everybody!”Marcusannouncesfromthestage.
Bennettgentlygrabsmyshouldersandturnsmearound.Isomehowmanagetoputonefootinfrontoftheotherandwalkacrossthestage.Ievengetawavein.Randallpointstohischeeksandmouthstheword“smile!”Iforceoneacrossmyfaceandthenseehimshakinghisheadandmouthing“toomuch!”
Underanornatearchspanningthewidthofthestage,fivearmchairsarearrangedinahalf-moonformationlikewe’reabouttobeinconversationwithOprah.Evenshewouldn’tbeabletosoothemerightnow.Smalltableswithmicrophonesareplacedartfullyinfrontofeachseat.Thethirdpanelist,awomanwhoIrecognizeastherelationshipseditorfromElLayDaily,isalreadysettledintothefarthestchairtotheleftofMarcus.Thefourthpanelist,theconsumermarketresearchperson,isseateddirectlynexttohim.Shelooksupatmeandgivesmeapolitesmile.Isitinthechairoppositeher,meaningBennettwillbebetweenmeandMarcus.Justthetwoofussittingstagerightpretendingtoactlikeeverything’snormal.Howhardcanthatbe?
“Youlooklikeacelebritycaughtinpaparazziheadlights!Relax.Thiswon’tbetoopainful!”MarcuswhisperstomewithachucklebeforeannouncingBennett.
IwatchAlisha’sandRandall’sjawsdropasBennettcrossesthestageandsitsdownnexttome.Hegivesthecrowdasmallwavebeforehiseyesflitovertomine.Iwanttoglareathim,butifIlookathimfortoolong,IfearI’llforgivehimbeforehe’sevenhadachancetosaysorry.
Wespendthenexttenminutesgivingbriefintroductions,explainingtheworkwedo,andfieldingeasyquestions.Itrytoremembermytalkingpoints,butmythoughtsfeellikemushasItrytooveranalyzeeveryinteractionI’vehadwithBennett.Itisn’tuntilMarcusdirectsaquestiontobothmeandBennettthatmybrainperksup.
“Olivia,Bennett,bothofyourcompaniesmatchpeopleusingtheChinesezodiac,butfromwhatyou’vebothsaid,itsoundslikeonefocusesoncompatibility,andtheother,notsomuch.”
IspeakbeforeBennetthasachanceto.“That’sright,Marcus.Oneofus—LunarLove—actuallymatchmakesbasedoncomplementarytraitsoftheChinesezodiac.Whichisthewayit’ssupposedtowork.MygrandmotherstartedLunarLoveoverfiftyyearsago.We’retheoriginalhereinLA,”Iexplainproudly.
Marcusleansforwardintothemicrophone.“Bennett,didyouknowLunarLoveexistedbeforeyoustartedZodiaCupid?”
IturnmybodytofaceBennett.“Greatquestion,Marcus,”Isay.
Bennettcoollysmiles.“Ialwaysdomyduediligence.ButIactuallyknewaboutLunarLoveinamorepersonalway,”hesays.“JuneHuang,thefounder,yourgrandmother,”Bennettcontinues,lookingmeintheeyes,“matchedmyparents.”
Mysmirkdropsfrommyface.“Thatcan’tberight,”Isay.Hetoldmehisparentswereincompatible.Thisguycan’tevenkeephisstorystraight.
“It’strue.Ifollowedthepathofmyparents’history,anditledmetoyou.ToJune,”hequicklycorrects.
“Ithinkyou’regettingyourpathsmixedup,”Imutter.ButevenasIsaythosewords,Ifalterinmyconviction.PóPocouldn’thavedonethat.She’scarefulandmeticulous.Mistakeslikethatareonlymadebyme.IshiftmyattentionbacktoBennett.
Henods.“Junewasanexcellentmatchmaker,andshebuiltanincrediblebusiness.You’reverylucky,Olivia.I’msureyou’rejustasgoodassheis.”
Jerk!What’sthisguy’sdeal?
“Well,ifthat’snotadorable!”Marcussays.Theaudienceclapsalongwithhim.
“It’ssomething,Marcus,it’ssomething,”Isay.“ButBennett,justbecausePóPo,ImeanJune,allegedlymatchedyourparents,itdoesn’tmeanyouknowher.Orme.”
MarcusandtheotherpanelistslookconfusedasIpickupmyconversationwithBennettwhereweleftoffbackstage.Bennettrealizesrightaway.Hegivesmealook.Thelook.Thelet’s-not-do-this-herelook.
AddressingMarcus,thepanelists,andtheaudience,Bennettsays,“Iseeourbusinessesascomplementarytooneanother.TheChinesezodiaccan’tbemonopolized.Weofferasimilarservicebutindifferentways.”Helookssmugwithhispoliticalcorrectness.
“Ourbusinessisn’tadigitalidentitycrisis.That’stheonlydifference,”Irevealintheheatofthemoment.
Bennett’ssmilemeltsoffhisface.Hiseyesturnsocoldthattheyextinguishthefirebehindmine.“That’snot—”Bennettsaysbeforestoppingabruptly.Hethinksforamoment,hiseyebrowslifting.Underhisbreathheasks,“WereyoutheonewhowrotethatWhizDasharticle?”
Oops.
“You’reCakeGirl,aren’tyou?”Bennettasks,thehurtonhisfacecuttingdeepintome.
“Nosidebarconversations!”Marcussayswithanervouslaugh.“Speakupsowecanallhear.Thisisaliverecording,allmadepossiblebyourgeneroussponsors.”
Bennettleansontooneofthearmrests.“Youknow,itcanbereallyhardforpeopletoletgoofthepast,Marcus.Changeisn’teasyforeveryone.Butwe’relivinginmoderntimessoit’stimetostopgettingstuckinouroldways.Digitalisthefuture.Whatdoyouallthink?”heaskstheaudience.
Theaudienceclapsandcheerstoanswerhisquestion,theirexcitementbouncingoffthewallsofthetheater.EveryoneexceptAlishaandRandall,ofcourse.Theysitwiththeirarmscrossed,lookingappalledandshoutingboosasshieldsagainstthecrowd’senthusiasm.
Itrytothinkofawittycomeback,butinsteadIbecomedefensive.“Whydopeoplefeeltheneedtogetridoftraditions?They’reanimportantpartofhistorythatwillbeforgottenifwe,”Isay,motioningmyarmsaroundthestageandouttowardtheaudience,“don’tkeepthemalive.Whyareyousoagainsttradition,Bennett?”
Bennettadjuststhecollarofhisambercashmerezip-up.“I’monlyagainsttraditionwhenitdistractsyoufromthetruthofwhat’sgood.Whenyouoperateinastateofdenialbecauseyou’restuckinthemudofthepast,”hesays,histoneicy.
“Poetic!Forourlistenersathome,thetensioninhereispalpable,”Marcussays,crossinghishandsoverhislap.“Andremember,panelists,we’relive.Wecan’teditanythingyousayafterwards.”
Ilookoutintothecrowdandupatthefadedmuralsabovethebalcony.Thevaultedceilingglimmersfromthethousandsoftinymirrorssprinkledacrossit.It’sasthoughwe’reinourownSpanishGothic–styleworld,theindoormirror-starsaglimpseofthepast.Exceptinsteadofthesensationoffeelingunconfinedbythevastnessoftheuniverse,Ifeeltrapped.Alleyesareonus—onme—asIformmyresponse.
“Traditionissteady.Reliable.LunarLovehaslastedthislongforareason,”Iexplain,twistingoneofmyrose-goldringsaroundmypointerfinger.“We’renotsomeflash-in-the-panstart-upthat’sonlyarounduntilpeoplemoveontothenextshinything.”
Bennettscoffs.“Soundslikesomeone’sworriedthattechnologywillobliteratewhat’soldandoutdated.”
Thefirebehindmyeyesisbackandburningbrighterthanever.IfeeltheheatradiatethroughmybodysorapidlythatI’mnotfullyawarewhenIstandupandannounce,“We’renotoutdated.Ourmethodsmayberootedinhistory,butwemakereallovehappen.I’llprovetoyouthatwe’rebetter.IbetIcanmatchyouupwithsomeonesocompatiblethatyou’llbeinlovebytheendoftheyear.”
Theroomgoesquiet.Marcus,prothatheis,speaksfirst.“I’mnotabettingman,butthatsoundedtomelikeawager.”
Bennettsitsupstraighterinhischair,lookingpensive.“That’s—Idon’tknowaboutthis,”hesays.“Youdon’twanttodothis.”
“Idon’twanttodothis,oryoudon’twanttodothis?”Itakemyseatconfidently.“Scaredyourscamwillbeouted?”Isayquietly,offeringBennettasmugsmile.“I’vebeeninbusinesslongenoughtoknowwhatittakestomakeasuccessfulmatch.Yourbusinesshasn’tevenlaunchedyet.Who’sbetter?Well,it’sasclearasthesunandthemoon.”
InsteadofscaringBennettoff,I’veonlyintriguedhim.Hesettlesintoamorecomfortableposition.“Morelike,Ican’tbeheldresponsiblewhenZodiaCupid’sresultsarebetterthanyouthink.BetterthanLunarLove’soutcomes.”
Ibitemylip.“Impossible,”Isay,growingpanicky.Ikeepaneutralandunwaveringlookonmyface.“LikeIsaid,I’llproveittoyou.”
“Basedontraits?”
“Precisely.”
“Andyouthinkyouknowme?”
Ihalfsmile.“Oh,Ihaveadecentideaaboutwhoyouare.”
“Fine.You’vegotyourselfadeal,”Bennettagrees.Warmthhasreturnedtohiseyes,butIcanstillseethehurtbehindthem.HurtIputinthem.
“Wait,soI’lltakethetimetohandpickyouacustommatch,andyou’llletyouralgorithmdothework?”Iask.
“That’showourbusinesseswork,isn’tit?”Bennettsays.“Youpickamatchforme,andI’llletmyalgorithmpickoneforyou,andwe’llseewhofindslove.”
Inarrowmyeyesathim.Littledoesheknow,I’mneveragainlettingmyselffallforsomeoneincompatible.Thiswager’salreadybeenwon.“Absolutely.”
“AndIdon’tneeduntiltheendoftheyear.Inmyworld,twoandahalfmonthsistoolong.IbetIcanmatchyouusingZodiaCupidwithsomeoneyou’llbeinlovewithbytheendofthemonth,”Bennettcounters.
“You’rekidding,”Isay,lettingoutanunamusedlaugh.
Bennettshakeshishead.Hecrosseshisarmsandleansbackcasuallyagainsttheseat.Theothertwopanelistslookslightlystunned,butamused.
Iblinkfuriously.“See?Thisismypointexactly!Thatisn’tabouthowfastithappens.Loveisn’tsomecarelesswordyouthrowaround!”
“That’sright!”Alishashoutsfromtheaudience.I’mrelievedwhenacoupleothersinthecrowdagreewithher.
“Well,folks,thisjustgotveryinteresting,”Marcussaysexcitedly,asthoughhecanalreadyenvisiontheratingshisshow’sgoingtoget.“Eventheaudienceisgettingintoit.Olivia,youthinkLunarLoveandcompatibilityisbetter.Bennett,youdon’t.Howaboutthis?Whoevercanmatchtheotherwithsomeonetheyfallinlovewithfirstgetsanexclusiveone-on-onepodcastepisode,ashout-outonoursocialmediachannelswherewehaveoveronemillionfollowers,andafeatureonourwebsite.Heck,we’lleventhrowinadatingpackagefortengiveawaywinners,paidforbyus.”
“Andafeatureinourdatingcolumn,”therelationshipeditorchimesin.Shesitscross-leggedinherchairlookingwaytooentertained.
I’mstunnedbyhowquicklythisallescalated.That’shugeexposure.Andtennewimmediateclients?ThatmaybenothingtoZodiaCupid,butit’salottous.Thatwouldreduceourneedtofindpeoplerightaway,andwecouldfocusonwhatwedobest.IcanphysicallyfeelthesecondspassingasIprocessthesituation.
“Well?”Marcusasksmebeforeturningbacktohismicrophoneandadding,“Listenersathome,wecanpracticallyhearOliviathinking.Whatwillherdecisionbe?”
I’vealwaysadmiredhowMarcusbuildsanticipationinhisshows,butnowthathistacticsforkeepinglistenerstunedinisdirectedatme,I’mnotsuchafan.
IextendmyhandouttoBennett.“I’min.”
“Excellent,”Bennettsays,wrappinghisfingersaroundmine.Thecontactsparksmemoriesoflastnight:touchinghands,homemadesushi,stolenglancesunderthestars,therarefeelingofunbearablelightness.Itwaslikebeingwithacompletelydifferentperson.Ishakeoffthedrive-inversionofBennett.He’slonggone.
“Folks,itlookslikewehaveourselvesaMatch-Off!”Marcusannounces.
Pulledbackintothemomentofbeingwatchedbythousandsofeyes,IlockmyowntwowithBennett’s.Hegivesmeaprivate,small,crookedsmile.Thebreathinmychestcatches.Ihatewhatthatdoestome.
Thisisgoingtobefine.Iknowforafacthisappdoesn’tworkandthatmymatchingrecordiswayhigherthanhis.I’llgetlotsofpressforLunarLove,ZodiaCupidwillbeexposedfortheshamthatitis,andBennettwillfindlove.It’sawin-winforeveryone.
Igriphishandtighterandpullhimcloser.OurcheeksgrazeasIbringmylipsupagainsthisear.“Ihopeyou’rereadytofallinlove.”Chapter10
Sixdaysandoneveryimportantmatchlater,Iclaimanemptyseatunderapalmtreewrappedintwinklelightsandsetmytrayofdumplingsandcupofbobabeerontothestickytable.IdragthemetalchairafoottotheleftalongtheconcretegrounduntilIhaveaclearviewofonetableinparticularacrossthecourtyard.Ikeepmysunglasseson,eventhoughthesunhasalreadystartedtoset.
“Doyouhaveeyesonthetargets?”Alishaasks,hervoiceboomingthroughmyearbuds.
“RatandDragonarenowseated.Irepeat,theyjustsatdown,”Isayquietly,feelinglikeanundercoveragentinaspymovie.Whyhaven’tIbeendoingthisforallofmyclients’dates?
Linesofpeopleforminfrontoffoodtrucks,dessertbooths,andthebeergardenoutsideoftheSanGabrielMissionPlayhouse,thebackdroptothisyear’sDumplingandBeerFestival.Laughterfillstheairasfamilies,couples,andfellowsingleshuntdowndinnerandtastetestdeliciousbeerflavorslikematchaandmango.
Ibiteintomymacandcheesedumplingandpreparetowitnesssparksflying.Acrossthecourtyard,BennettandHarpertoasttheirbeersanddigintotheirdumplingassortmentandpileofmochiwaffles.
“Ihopetheylikeeachother,”Isayintotheheadphonemicrophone.“Heneedstofallinlove.”
“Youcombedthroughtheentiredatabaseandthoughtthrougheachoftheirtraits.Ithinkthey’regoingtolikeeachother,”Alishasaysreassuringly.
“They’rebothentrepreneursandshareasimilarworkethic.Shehasbigideasforthefuture,andhe’sresourcefulenoughtosupportthem.She’sinterestedinfood,he’screativewithhisfoodpairingsandisactuallyadecentcook—”
“Thisisaccordingtothesushihemadeyouonyourdate,right?”sheasksdramatically.
Idrawheartsintothecondensationonmybeerglass.“Itwasn’tadate,Alisha.Itwasresearch.”
Alishasnickers.“Uh-huh.Whateveryousay.Speakingofresearch,Harperdoesn’tknowyou’rethere,right?”
“No!Neitherofthemdo.Ijustwanttomakesureeverythinggoessmoothlyforthem.Ican’twaittoseethelookonhisfacewhenherealizeshowwonderfulsheis.”
IwatchasBennettandHarpersmilepolitelyateachother.Harperlaughsatsomethinghesays,andIbecomeacutelyawareofhowshe’sangledherbodytowardhim.
“They’resittingawfullycloseforafirstdate,”Imumble.
“That’sagoodthing,remember?”Alishasays.
“Yeah.Yes,definitely.Ofcourse,”IrepeatlikeI’mtryingtoconvincemyself.“There’susuallysomewarm-uptimeinvolved,that’sall.”
“You’regoodatwhatyoudo.You’vealreadywarmedthemup.Nowit’sgametime,”Alishasays,slightlydistracted.Ontheotherend,IheartheopeningsongofMyBestFriend’sWeddinginthebackground.
Inodtomyself.“Right.We’vegotthisinthebag.Bytheendofthenight,he’llbeswooning.”
Harperdropsherfork,andBennettreactsbeforeshehasachanceto,pickinguptheutensilandstandingtograbheranotherone.“Iwonderifhe’llthrowhimselfonthegroundforher,too,”Imumble.AtthethoughtofhimdoingthatforHarper,mybreathingbecomesshallower.
“Hedidwhat?”Alishaasks,hummingalongtothemovie’ssong.
Myheartthumpshollowly.“Hewasagentleman,that’sall,”Isay,notwantingtogivemorelifetoakindgesturethatprobablymeantnothing.
ThecrinkleofaplasticbagcutsthefirstpartofAlisha’ssentenceoff.“—hopeshe’sintohim.Fromthewayyoudescribedhim,hesoundsintense.NowthatIthinkaboutit,though,hecould’vereactedtothearticlealotworse,somaybehe’snotsobad.”
Itakeasipofbeerthroughthewidestraw,amouthfuloftapiocacomingupwithit.“He’snotabadguy.Besides,he’sourenemy.Nothers.”
“Bytheway,haveyoutalkedtoyourPóPoyet?”Alishaasks.
Agroupformsaroundatabletocheeronadumpling-eatingcompetition.“Notyet.Ineedmoredetailsfirst.Hecouldbemessingwithme.Tryingtogetintomyhead.”
“That’dbeabizarrewaytodoit,don’tyouthink?”shesays.
InarrowmyeyesinBennett’sdirection.“Thisguy’scapableofanything.”
Ileanontomyelbowtoseearoundafamilywhohasstoppedtohuddleinmylineofsight.Whentheyfinallymove,Harper’saloneatthetable.IscanthecrowdandfindBennettpayingformoredessertatabooth.
“Iwonderifhe’llscrapethefrostingoffthatcake,too,”Isay.Insteadofgoingbacktothetable,heturnsinmydirection.“Uh,letmecallyouback.”
“I’mabigboy.Idon’tneedababysitter,youknow,”Bennettcallsouttomeasheapproaches.Heslidesaplateofmatchacakeacrossthetable.“Ibroughtyouthis.Thoughtallyoursleuthingmightmakeyouhungry.”
“Thatwasunnecessary,”Isay,mymouthwatering.“HowdidyouknowIwashere?”
“IsensedadisturbanceintheForce,”hejokes.“Youonlysatnexttooneofthefewdecorativepalmtreesandarewearingsunglassesatnight.Youmightaswellhavestrappedaneonlighttoyourchestthatblinks,‘I’mdiscreet!’”
Ileanmyforeheadintomypalm.“DoesHarperknow?”
“Oh.Yeah.Shethinksyou’rereallycommitted.”
Ipushmysunglassesovermyhead.“Becausethat’swhatin-personmatchmakingallowsmetobe.Committed.You’renotlefttoyourowndeviceslikeallthepoorsoulsinDigitalPurgatory.”
“Inwhat?”Bennettasks.
“Nothing.Youwouldn’tunderstand.Youdidn’ttamperwiththis,didyou?”Iasksuspiciously,hoveringmychopsticksovertheicing.
Bennettshakeshishead.“Toomanywitnesses.”
Thecornerofmymouthliftsintoanalmost-smilebeforeIrememberwhyI’mhereandmymissionoftakingdownBennett—Imean,findingBennettlove.
“Areyousureyouwanttogothroughwiththis?Wecancallitoffrightnow,nohardfeelings.”
“Yourdate’sgoingthatwellalready,huh?”Iask,crossingmyarmsoverthesectionoftableinfrontofme.“WecancallitoffifwebothagreethatIwin.”
“Noonehaswonyet.Butyouknowwhathappensifoneofusdoes,right?”headdswithapeculiarshyness.
Idropmyhandsintomylap.“Thedetailsofthecompetitionwereprettyclear,”Istate.Butdeepdown,Iknowwhathemeans.IfIwin,IloseBennett.Buthe’snotmine.Neverhasbeen.Anychanceoftherebeinganusisoverbeforeitcanevenbegin.WhatamIsaying?Thereisnous.Therecouldneverbeanus
Bennettlingersinthedrawn-outsilence.“Okay.Aslongaswe’reclear.”
“Perfectly,”Isayhesitantly,myvoiceshaky.Iclearmythroat.“Harper’sgreat,isn’tshe?”
Bennettlookscaughtoffguardbymyquicktransition.“Shereallyis,”hesays.“Ihavetothankyoufornotsendingustosalsadancingoranything.Thenightwould’veendedbeforeitstarted.”
“Veryinteresting,”Isay.“Howdoyouknowthere’snotgoingtobedancinghere?”
“Hereinpublic?Where?Onthetables?”
Imotiontowardthetables.“Thisdatecouldbeonegiantflashmob.Youdon’tknow.”
“Ifthathappens,I’mgone.”DreadripplesacrossBennett’sface.“Ihadanembarrassingjuniorprommomentthatputmeoffdancingforever,”heexplains.
I’mimmediatelyintrigued,buthe’salreadybeenoverherelongenough.“Hatesdancing.I’llmakeamentalnote,”Isay,“forthenexttimethattherewon’tbebecause,Imean,comeon!”ImotiontowardHarperacrossthesquare,who’swatchingthelivebandthat’sjuststartedplaying.
“She’sopentotryingallthedifferentfood,shedoesinterestingwork,andshe’sverypretty,”Bennettsays.Apangshootsthroughme.“Iadmityou’regood.Thoughthatwasneverinquestion.”
“Exactly.Sohowaboutwejustcallitforwhatitis?Iwin,youlose,webothmoveon.”
Bennettbraceshishandsagainstthebackofachairandleansforward.Theveinsinhisforearmsswell,shadowspoolinginthegroovesofhisdefinedmuscles.Ipullmyattentionfromthem,rememberingthattheybelongtothecompetitioninfrontofme.
“Thebetwasonwhowouldfallinlovefirst.LastIchecked,I’mnotinlovewithHarper,”hesays.
“Yet,”Isay,notmeaningtosoundsohesitantaboutit.
“You’renotgettingoutofyourdate,”Bennettsays,thecornerofhismouthslopingupward.
Icatchmyselfstaringathimandlookawaybeforehenoticesme.“Speakingofdate,Iseewhatyou’retryingtodohere.Theonlyrulewasthatyouhavetogiveitafairshot.Don’tyoudaresabotagethis,”Isayquickly.“Justignoreme.PretendI’mnothere.”
“That’shardtodo,butI’lltry,”Bennettsays,hiseyessparklinginthepalmtree’slights.Aflickerofelectricityshootsthroughme.WelingerinthemomentforlongerthanIexpect.Suddenly,headds,“Hey,didyouknowOktoberfeststartedin1810,andeveryyear,overtwomilliongallonsofbeerareconsumed?”
Ileanforwardinmychair.“Keepthosefunfactsbetweenus,”Iinstruct.“Idon’tknowyethowHarperfeelsabouttriviaoryoubeingapi?atafilledwithuseless,butinteresting,funfacts.”
“There’sonlyonewaytofindout,”Bennettsays,walkingbackwardawayfrommeslowly.HepausesbrieflyandthenturnsandheadsbacktoHarper.
Whenhe’sgone,Ibecomehighlyawareofhisabsence.Hedoesn’tlookoverinmydirectionforthenextthirtyorsominutes,asthoughthere’sanunspokenagreementbetweenus.HedoessomethinganimatedwithhishandsandmakesHarperlaughmore.Isobadlywanttoknowwhathe’ssaying.
Twentyminuteslater,IabandonmyprimeviewingpositionatthetableandfindcoverinashadowedarcheddoorwayclosertoBennettandHarper.Icheckmyphonefornewemailsandconfirmtheballoondeliverydetailsfortomorrow’sCookieDay.
“Wouldyouliketojoinusatthetable?”Bennettasks,appearingbesidemeinthedoorway.
Myhandfliesupovermyheart.“Youscaredme!Don’tdothat!”
“You’relurkingcreepilyintheshadows.”Bennettpositionshimselfnexttome,restinghisshoulderagainstthewall.“Doyoudothisforallyourmatches?”
“RememberwhatIsaidaboutpretendingI’mnothere?”
“Harperfoundafewofhercheffriends.Ithinkshe’sboredwithme,”Bennettsays.
“What?No!She’sjustbeingfriendly,”Isay,standingonmytoestolookoverthecrowd.She’ssurroundedbyasmallgroupofpeopleinchefjackets.“Gobackoverthereandcharmher.Meetherfriends.”
“BeforeIdothat,Iwantedtoclearupsomethingbetweenus.WhatIsaidatthepanel,aboutyourPóPo,”Bennettstarts.
“Youwerejusttryingtorilemeup.Youweremadaboutthearticle,”Isay,glancingupathimtogaugehisreaction.Itdoesn’tmatterwhetherImeanttosendthearticleornot.Thefactis,it’soutthere.Andforthat,Idoowehimanapology.“I’msorryaboutthat.Andforusingthedigitalidentitycrisisline.Andthenthrowingitbackinyourfaceatthepanel.AndforsneakilymatchingwithyouandlyingaboutwhoIam.”
Bennettsmirks.“Isthatall?”
“Yes.That’sallI’msorryfor.Nothingelse,”Isay,watchinghimcarefully.
Bennettreactstomyexpressionwithonethatlookslikesurprise.“Iappreciatethat.Thoughthewordmadsoundsextreme.Hurt,yes.ButIcanhandlealittlebadpress.Iwishitdidn’tcomefromyou,isall.Themanipulating-a-matchthingIhonestlycan’tbemadabout.Youbeatthealgorithm.That’simpressive.”
Iliftmychinup.“That’sright.Rememberthat’swhoyou’redealingwith.Someonewhobeatsalgorithms.”
Bennettinhalessharplybeforefinallysaying,“I’msorry,too,fornottellingyouIknewwhoyouwere.”
Myshouldersrelaxinrelief.Itfeelsgoodtocometosomekindofunderstanding.“NowIguesswe’rebacktobeingeven.”
“Howaboutwemakeapactnottolietoeachotheranymore?”Bennettsays.
Itiltmyheadforward.“Why?”
“We’veliedtoeachotherenough,don’tyouthink?”
“You’reprobablyright.IguessIcanagreetothat,”Isay.“Soyou’lltellmewhattheproductlaunchisthen?”
Bennett’sfaceglimmerswithamusement.“That’sasurprise,notalie.”
“Fine,thenbehonestwithmeaboutPóPo.”
Bennetttakesastepcloser,andIcanfeeltheheatofhisbodytakethechillyedgeoff.“Thatwouldbeaweirdandspecificthingtolieabout.Shereallydidmatchmyparents.”
Ithinkforafewseconds.“I’llhavetoaskhertoconfirm.”
“Wanttostroll?”Bennettasks,glancingovermyheadatHarper.
Ilookoverinthesamedirection.She’sengrossedinconversationwithhergroupoffriends.“Quickly.TellmemoreaboutPóPo.Thengetbackthereandbesocial.”
Weweavearoundfamiliesandchildrenmunchingondumplings,makingourwaytonowhereinparticular.Iunzipmyjackettoreleasesomeoftheheatforminginmychest.Toomuchbobabeerprobably.
“Youdidn’texposePóPoonstage.Why?”Iaskaswewalksidebysideundercolorfularchways.
Bennettliftsaneyebrowinsurprise.“Whatwastheretoout?”
“Thatshemadeanincompatiblematch,”Isaygrimly.
Hetuckshishandsintothebackpocketsofhisjeans.Thecurvesofhisupperarmmusclesareaccentuatedasthefabricofhissweaterpullstighteragainsthisbody.MyheartratequickenswhenInoticethewayhe’slookingoveratme.“YourPóPomadeasuccessfulmatch.”
“Nottechnically.Youcould’vedelegitimizedourentirebusinessintenseconds.”
“ThelegacyandcredibilityofLunarLoveisn’thangingbythethreadofoneincompatiblematch,”hesays.“You’reknownforyourqualitymatches,period.Ithinkit’syougettinghunguponneedingeverymatchtobeperfectlycompatible.”
“It’showrelationshipsshouldbe,”Isayfirmly.
“Olivia,you’llmissoutongoodpeopleifyoubelievecompatibilityistheoneandonlywaytolove,”Bennettsays.“Trustmeonthis.”
“No,I’llonlyavoidthewrongpeopleifIdo,”Iretort.“Pairingincompatibleanimalsignstogetheronlyleadstotrouble.”
Inthecourtyard,thelivebandfinishestheirsetandswitchesoutwithaguitaristwhostartsplayinganacousticversionof“WhataWonderfulWorld.”Afewoftheoldercouplesslowdanceinthecourtyard,theirheadsrestingagainstoneanother.Unexpectedlongingforsomethingindescribablestrikesmesuddenly.Iswattheemotionsaway.
“Look,it’syournightmare,”Ijoke,swayingtothemusic.
Bennettignoresthedancers.Hedoesn’teventaphisfoottothebeat.Instead,hejustexaminesmyface.“Lifeisrestrictiveasitis.Whysetmoreboundariesforyourself?”
“YouneveransweredmyoriginalquestionbackstageabouthowyouknowmethroughPóPo,”Ipushback,changingtopics.
“Shetalkedaboutyou,”hesayscasually.
“What,didyoumeeteveryweekforbrunchorsomething?”Iasksarcastically,liftinganddroppingmyshoulderstoimitatehisnonchalance.“Elaborate.Ineedmoredetails.Whereandwhendidyoumeet?Whatdidshesayexactly?Youhavetotellme.Wejustmadeapact!”
“ShetoldmethatyouwouldbetakingoverLunarLovesoon.Sheshowedmephotographs.Youwereaprettycutekid.”Bennettgrins,thebeautymarkonhischeekliftingwiththecornerofhiseyes.
Iburymyfaceinmyhands.“Oh,god.”
“What’ssobadaboutchildhoodphotos?”hesayswithalaugh.
IspreadmyfingersovermyeyesandpeekatBennettthroughthem.“It’snotthat.Youwerebothconspiring!”
Bennettturnstowalksideways,bendingclosertolookatmethroughmywindow-fingers.“Youmakeitsoundalotshadierthanitwas.Shedidn’tmentionmetoyouatall?”
“Definitelynot,”Isayonanirritatedexhalation.
Bennettsighs.“Yourturn.Whatreallyhappenedatthebakingclass?”
WefindanemptyspottositattheMissionPlayhouse’scurvedfountain,thesculptureinthecenterspillingoverwithwaterfromtoptomiddletobottom.Fromhere,IcanseeHarper,who’slaughingandchattingwithherfriends,notlookinglikeshe’smissingBennettatall.That’snotagreatsign.
IrefocusonBennett.“Itoldyou,itwasafriendfromapastlife.That’sallthereistoknow.”
“Pact,”Bennettsays,holdinghishandoverhischest.
“Wasthatatrick?JustsoI’dtellyou?”Iaskdefensively.
Bennettcrosseshisankleoverhiskneeandrestshiselbowonhisthigh.“Youpromised.”
Isigh.“Shereallywasanold,closefriend.Colette.”Sayinghernamebringsherghosttolife.Watersplashesintothecenterofthefountain,sendingripplesoutwardtowardus.Ibitemylip,tryingtofindthewords.“Idestroyedherlife.”
Bennettdoesn’tlaughorscoff.Hesitsandwaitspatientlyformetocontinue,hiscalmnessencouragingme.
“Ididn’tknowshewasbackintown,”Iadd.“Seeingherwassurreal.”
“Howdidyoudestroyherlife?”Bennettaskswithoutatraceofjudgmentinhisvoice.He’sinthemiddleofadatebutisactinglikehehasallthetimeintheworldforme.
“Bymatchingherwithsomeoneincompatible.”Istareatthemossyfloorofthefountaintoavoideyecontactwithhim.Thelightsaroundthecircumferenceofthefountainwallpoweron,makingthewaterglitterinthelavenderdusk.“Iconvincedhertoletmematchher.Whenshefinallyagreed,IwasinaplaceinmylifewhereIthoughtincompatiblematcheswereharmless.Ilearnedmylesson.I’llneverletthathappenagain.”
“That’stough,”Bennettsays.
Ispiraldeeperintomymemories,reflectingonwhathappened.Itwouldn’tbethefirsttimethesethoughtshavetakenover.
“Imust’vemissedsomethinginthebackgroundcheck,”Itrytoreason.“TheguyconvincedColettetomakeasketchyinvestment,tookhermoney,andthenvanished.Thathappenedbecauseofme.Hetrickedusboth.”
“That’sawful,”Bennettsympathizes.
“Ashermatchmakerandfriend,Ishould’veknownsomethingwasn’tright.Iwastoodistractedwithmyownlife,”Iadmit.“IletwhatIwasgoingthroughinfluenceme.IrefusedtolistentoPóPo,tomygut,ortoanyonewhoknewbetter.”
Thenoiseofthecrowdaroundusfadesaway.IconfideinBennettlikeit’stheeasiestthingintheworld.LikeI’vedoneitbeforeathousandtimes.Helistenscarefully,focusingonmyface.Feelinghimwatchingmeisunnervingandwhollysatisfyingatonce.
“Ihaven’ttalkedtoColetteinyears,andit’sallmyfault,”Icontinue.“Ourfriendshipendedovernight.”
“Haveyoutriedreachingout?”Bennettasks.
Iturnmyheadsidetosideslowly.“Itwasprettyclearshewantednothingtodowithme.Theblowupwasintense.Itwasaroughtime.”Imovemyringupanddownmyfinger,twistingitaroundandaround.
“I’msorrytohearthat,”Bennettsayssoftly.“That’shardtolosesomeonelikethat.”
Iwavemyhandthroughtheair.“Iwasreckless.Ihad—have—aresponsibility.WhatIdo,whatwedo,affectsactualhumanlives.Itisn’tagame.Theconsequencesareveryreal,”Isaybreathlessly.It’sbeenyearssinceI’vetalkedaboutthis.Foramoment,it’sasthoughtheweightoftheworldisn’tmyburdentocarry.
“Hencewhatyousaidaboutincompatibilityonlyleadingtotrouble.”Bennettangleshisbodytowardme,theexpressiononhisfacecompassionate.“Thankyoufortellingme.”
“Isthatagoodenoughreasonforyouthrowingyourselfontheground?”Ijoke,tryingtolightenthemood.
“Iwould’vedoneitforless,”Bennettsaysearnestly,asmallgrinplayingacrosshislips.
Hissmileiscontagious,andIcan’tresistmirroringit.Ibitedown,blushing.
Ilookoverthecrowdtocheckonmyclient,who’snolongerwithhergroupoffriends.BennettstandstogreetanenthusiasticHarper,who’sspottedus.Shewavesexcitedlyandjogstherestofthewaytous.
“Hi,Olivia!”Harpersayswithabigsmile,herlipspaintedblushpink.
“Harper,hi,”Isayinmymostprofessionaltone.Theopticsofthismustlookbad.Iformexcusesinmyheadtosaytoher.Butreally,there’snoexcusefortakingherdateaway.NonethatIcouldtellheranyway.
“Ijustneededsomecoaching,”Bennettsays,coveringforme.“Shecamebytomakesureweweredoingallright.”
“That’ssoniceofyou!Sorry,Bennett,IgotcaughtupwithsomepeopleIknowfromwork,”shesays,gesturingtowardthefoodtrucks.“Onechefwashavingabitofdrama,andIhadtoreportforfriendduty.Thefoodworldissmall.”
“Pea-sized,”Bennettsayswithemphasis.
Iletoutalaugh.Betrayedbymyownheart.
“Ithoughtyoutwoweretalkingshopoverhere,”Harperasksconspiratorially.
“What?No,definitelynot,”Isay.
Harperrestsherhandcasuallyonherhip.“IthoughtyouwerekiddingatfirstwhenyoutoldmethatthisdatewaswiththefounderofZodiaCupid.WhoknewhewasusingLunarLove!Butheusesbothlikeme.Iguesswhylimityourself?”shesays.“Hownicethatthetwoofyougetalongsowell.”
Bennettliftsuphiseyebrowsinagreementwithher.“We’realljusttryingtobringmoreloveintotheworld.Isn’tthatright,Olivia?”
“Onecompatiblematchatatime,”Isaysweetly.“Don’tletmeholdyouup.Enjoythedumplingsandtheunlimitedbeer,onLunarLove.”
“Inthatcase,roundtwointhebeergarden?”Bennettasks,offeringhisarmtoHarper.Shelinksherarminhisandsmiles.Igulpdownmyenvyastheirbodiesmovetogetherasone.
“Bye,Olivia!”Harpersaysgiddily.
“Enjoyyourdate!Loveisintheair!”Ishoutawkwardly,attractingstaresfromchildrenchallengingeachothertostuffentiredumplingsintotheirmouths.
Bennettglancesoverhisshoulder,makingeyecontactwithmeonelasttimebeforeenteringthebeergarden.RatandDragonareonthemove.Chapter11
Mysister,Nina,wasrightwhenshepredictedmyfuture.Ibalancestackeddishesinmyarmsanddistractedlysetplatesaroundtheoutdoordiningtable.Againsttheolivetreeinmyparents’yard,tealballoonsaretiedtogethertocreatetheshapeofacrescentbluemoon.Opaquewhiteandsilverglasscandlevotivesarescatteredonthetablesanddeckrailings.MomwrangleswiththestreamerswhileNinafinisheslightingthecandles.
“What’swithDad’sapron?”Ninaasks.WeallturnourheadstowardDad,who’srockingaScottishandProudtartanapronatthegrill.
“Don’tgetmestarted,”Momsayswithalaugh.“He’sbeengoingdowntherabbitholeofhisancestry.”
PóPobringsoveraboxofsilvermeshbags.“Thisislookinglovely,”shesays,lookingaroundthebackyard.“Olivia,willyoupleasehelpmebagupsomecookies?”
Ihaven’tbeenalonewithPóPoinoveraweek.ThiswillbemyopportunitytotalktoheraboutBennett.Andherallegedincompatiblematch.IpulloutachairforPóPotositinatthetable,andsheshowsmehowshewantsthecookiespackaged.
“Sothisisbasicallytheweddingshower,right?”Iask,dodgingwhatIreallyneedtosay.
PóPolooksupfromthestackofcookiesandsmiles.“It’skindoflikethat.Thetraditionisthatthegroom’sfamilysendspastriesandcookiestothebride’sfamily.Marriageisaboutthebondingofthecouple,butalsoofourfamiliesandancestors.”
“Ilikethat,”Isay.“Ihadneverheardofitbefore.”
PóPotakesamomenttorestacksomeofthemisplacedpastries.“It’snoteasytokeeptraditionsalivewhenyou’refarfromfamily.Butovertime,traditions,andthewaythey’recelebrated,areadapted.Isn’titgreatknowingaboutitandenjoyingitinourownway?”sheasks.
“Idon’tknow,”Isay.“Aren’ttraditionstraditionsbecausetheystaythesame?”
“Liv,lifeisnotallornothing,andtraditionsarebetteraliveinoneformoranotherthannonexistent.”
Iplacetwocookiesintoabagandpullthestringstight.“LikeLunarLove,”Isay.
“NoonewouldhiremewhenImovedhere,”shecontinues.“IbarelyspokeanyEnglishandhadthreekids.Icould’vekeptLunarLovethewayitwas,butitwouldn’thaveworked.Ihadtoadapt.”
“How’dyoukeepitalltogether?”Iask.
“Youjustkeepgoing.Makethebestdecisionsthatyoucanatthetime,”PóPoshares.“Itwasquitethecultureshock.EvenwiththekidswantingtoliveamoretraditionalAmericanlife.”
“YetyoustillgotAuntiehookedonthezodiac,”Isay.
PóPolaughs.“Idid,butyourmotherwassurprisinglystubbornforaDog.AndyourUncleRupertwastooabsorbedwithhisdinosaurstocareaboutanyotheranimal.It’snowonderhechosepaleontologyovermatchmaking.”Sheshrugs.“LunarLovewasmylife.Thisnevercameupwhenyouweretransitioningtotakethelead,butIhopeyouknowthislegacydoesn’thavetobeyours.”
Istopmid-tietolookupatPóPo.“I—IloveLunarLoveandmatchmaking.WhywouldyouthinkthatIdon’t?”
“Ijustwantyoutoknowthatyou’reneverstuck.You’reindependent,andworkinginthefamilybusinessmightsometimesfeelcounterintuitive.Lydiafeltthatwayattimes.Therewasapointshealmostwalkedaway.”
“Ididn’tknowthat,”Isay,searchingmymemoryforconversationsAuntieandImayhavehadaboutherwantingtoleaveLunarLovebehind.
“Oh,well,that’sastoryforadifferentday.”Shepullsabag’sstringsastightasshecan.
“I’mnotgivinguponLunarLove,”Isay.IfPóPowasabletocreateasuccessfulbusinessoutofnothing,surelyIcanbuildoffthesolidfoundationsheconstructed.
“I’mhappytohearthat.Youwerepresentedwithachallengetoovercome.Iseverythinggoingokay?ImayhavesomesavingsthatIcanputtowardwhateveryouneedatLunarLove.”
“No,no!Don’teatintoyourretirementfund.I’mhandlingit,”Ireassureher.
PóPoreachesovertotapmyhand.“Remember,wherethere’sanegative,there’salwaysapositive.Now,tellme.HaveyougivenanymorethoughttothegentlemanAuntieintroducedyoutooveremail?”
“Theonewithaten-yearstrategy?Iappreciateawell-thoughtplanbutthat’sabitmuch.”Thisman,likealltheothersAuntietriestopairmewith,iscompatibletomyHorsesign.Ialsoknowfromheremailthathe’sadoctorandanoff-hourstennisbuff.
“Shevettedhimherself.MaybehecanbeyourplusonetoNina’swedding.HisTigerisamatchtoyourHorse.AFireTiger,too.Hisoptimismmightruboffonyou.Andheplansonbeingaheartdoctor.You’dbothhavesomethingincommon,”PóPooffers.
“HowcanIsaynotoDr.Love-Fifteen?Prettyeasily,actually.Icanseeitnow.Allthoselonghourshe’sawaywillgiveusdistancethatwillmakeusappreciateeachother,butwhenhe’sback,he’lldragmetothecourtstobehisdoublespartnersohecanexhausthisnervousenergy.”
“Thismaniscompatibletoyou,andyou’restillnotinterested.”PóPosighs.“Careful,Liv.Yourheart’sbeenbroken,butit’sstrongerthanyouthink.Isn’tittimeyoumakeroomforsomeonenew?”
“Youknowmyresistanceisn’tbecauseIdon’tbelieveinlove.I’dratherfocusonfindingloveforothers,notmyself,that’sall,”Itellher.
WhenPóPolostGōngGong,sheneverremarried,andAuntie’sstillsingle.Theypouredthemselvesintomatchmakingandleanedintotheirindependence.Maybethat’sthefateofthosewholeadLunarLove.Ihadmygreatlove.OratleastwhatIthoughtwaslove.Maybethatwasitforme,andnow,likethewomenbeforeme,it’stimetofocusonwork.
“LunarLovecomesfirst,”Iadd.IdecidetofinallysaywhatIneedtogetoffmychest.“SpeakingofLunarLove,Iheardsomethinginterestingtheotherday.”
“Hmm?”PóPohumsasshediligentlypacks,ties,packs,ties.
“ImetsomeonewhohadalreadysomehowknownwhoIwas.Becauseofyou.Anditturnsoutyouhadmatchedhisparents.”
PóPo’ssmallhandscometoanabruptstop.
“Buthesaysthathisparentswereincompatible.WhichItoldhimcouldn’tbetrue,”Icontinue.“Butisittrue?”
“TheO’Briens,”PóPofinallysayssoftly.“YouwereoutonaSinglesScoutingwhenBennettcametofindmeaboutayearago.”
“Ayearago?”Iinterrupt.“You’vebeenhidingwhatcouldpotentiallydestroyLunarLovefrommeforayear?”
PóPo’sthin,linedeyebrowsfurrow.“DestroyLunarLove?Withhislittleapp?”Shescoffs.“Matchmakingismorethanjustswiping.Therearesomanypeopleusingtheseapps,howdoyousortthrougheveryone?Youcan’ttrustwhatorwhopeopleclaimtobeonline.Hands-onmatchmakingservicesaredependable.Safe.”
“Iknowthis,”Isay,“butthatdidn’tstoptheguyyousharedconfidentialinformationwith.”
PóPosmiles.“LunarLovehasbeenthroughitall.Don’tworry.”
Theadviceisvagueatbest.“Please,continue,”Isay,choosingnottofightit.Hercalmnessaboutthisismystifying.
PóPofidgetswithaloosestring.“Bennettlearnedthroughhismother’sjournalsthatlater,aftershewasmarried,herbirthyearwasn’twhatshehadbelievedallalong.Herbirthdayandyearonthebirthcertificatehadbeenrecordedincorrectly,sinceshehadbeenbornjustonedayaftertheLunarNewYear.”
“SoshewasaBorderliner,”Isay,referringtoatermweusetocallpeoplewhosebirthdaysfallsoclosetothedaysofadifferentanimalsignthatsomeofthetraitsblend.
PóPonods.“Theyearshadbeenmixedup.Hismotherspentherentirelifebelievingshewasbornintheyearofananimalsheactuallywasn’t.Thisaffectedthematching.”
Soshedidmakeanincompatiblematch.LikeIdid.Butthereasoningbehindhersisunderstandable.Borderlinerscanbeverytricky.
“Hesaidhisparentswerehappy,”Isay,reassuringher.
“Itwasasloppymistake,”shesaysasthoughshe’sscoldingherself.
“Itwasanaccident.It’snotlikeyoupurposelymadeanincompatiblematch.That’dbeadifferentstory,”Ijustify.
“Whatyoudidwasanaccident,too,Liv,”PóPosaysinasoothingtone.“Youdidwhatyouthoughtwasbestforyourfriendatthetime.Wecan’talwaysmakeperfect,blissfulmatches.”
Iwrinklemyeyebrows.“YouwarnedmebutIdidn’tlisten.Atleastyoursresultedinasuccessfulmarriage.”
Brightnessreturnstoherface.“Bennett’sparentsweregoodtogether,incompatibleorotherwise.”
“Whydidn’tyoutellmeabouthim?Heknewaboutme,”Iask.“Youneverhidethingsfromme.”
“Iwasashamedabouthisparents’match,”shesays.“AndyounevercaredmuchaboutthemenIbringuptoyou.HowisBennettdifferentthanMr.Love-Fifteen?”
“Hejustis,”Isayafteramoment.
“HeknowsaboutyoubecauseItalkedaboutyou.HowcouldInot?”PóPosays.“I’msorrythatyouwerecaughtbysurprise,buteveryone’sentitledtotheirownsecretseverynowandthen.”
IhaveamillionmorequestionsbutIsenseshewantstodropit.I’vealreadyquestionedherenough.PóPogoestoherroomtorestbeforethefestivitiespickupwhileIbundlethebaggedcookiestogetherandbringthemtothefrontentranceforgueststograbontheirwayout.Morefriendsandfamilyhavestartedtoarrive,evidencedbythegrowingstackofshoesintheentryway.AknotinmystomachformsattheanticipationofhavingtofieldquestionsaboutLunarLoveandifI’vemanagedtosaveityet.
“Olivia!Canyougrabthis?”DadasksasIpassbythekitchen.Withaplateofrawmeatbalancedinonehand,hehandsmeaplateofcheddarcheeseslicesthathavebeenindividuallyshapedwithacookiecuttertobeperfectlyround.“Mooncheese.Ipaidextraforexpeditedshipping.Thefeewasastronomical!”Helaughsathisownjoke.
“Looksgood,”IsaytoDad,followinghimbackouttothegrill.
“Everythingallright?”DadaskswhenIdon’tevenpitylaugh.
“Oh,yeah.Ijusthavealotonmymind.Niceapron,bytheway.”
“Youlikeit?It’stheexacttartanpatternofourfamilyclanfromScotland,”heexplains.“Ihaditcustom-made.Letmeknowifyouwantone.”Henudgesaburgerpattysoitlinesupevenlywiththeothers.
Dadplacestheplateofroundedburgermeatontothegrill’ssidetable.“YouwantaFullMoonBurgerSpecial?”heasks,flippinghismetalspatulaintotheair,barelycatchingit.Inarrowlydodgethespinningutensil.
“Definitely.Mediumrare,please.I’llbebackforit.”IpatDadontheshoulderandmakemywayovertothedesserttablewhereIseeNinaandAsher,Nina’sfiancé,lingering.
“Dowehaveenoughfood?”Ninaasksus,fidgetingwithhersapphireengagementring.
“There’sfourplattersofwifecake,walnutcookies,spongecake,Chineseshortbread,twotraysofchocolatecake,aplateofmacarons,twobowlsoffruit,aboxofdoughnuts,burgers,chips,drinks…Ithinkthere’splenty,”Isay
“Ifwerunout,I’llgowhipupafreshbatchofcookiesmyself,”Ashersaysreassuringly.HerubsNina’sshoulders.
“Okay,”shesays,exhalingarelaxedsigh.Sheadjustsoneoftheplatessothatit’sangledclosertothetray.“Thanks,Ash.”
Momjoinsuswithtwocookiecakes.“GrandmaandGrandpasenttheseforyou.Theytoldmetotellyouthatthey’resorrytheycan’tmakeit,butthey’relookingforwardtoseeingyouatthewedding.”
“Well,therewego!Morefood.Problemsolved,”Ashersayswithasmile.“Let’sgetthispartystarted.Drinks,ladies?”
“Justalittlebitofwine,please,”Ninasays.“Don’tgowildwithit.”
Asher,aUniversalStudiostourguide,raiseshiseyebrows.“Speakingofwild,didyouknowthatPsychowasthefirstAmericanfilmtoshowatoiletflushingonscreen?”
“Arealtoilet?”Iask,pretendingthatthisisthefirsttimehe’stoldmethisfunfact.Hemustbeworkingovertimeonhiscomedictiming.
“Justgo,”Ninasays,gentlypushingAshertowardthebeverages.
Welookaroundthebackyard,whichlookslikeagalaxyofblueandwhitedecorations.
“YoureallywentalloutwiththeOvertheMoontheme,”sheobserves.“Ididn’tknowtherewerepumpkinsonthemoon.”
Inod.“Onlywhenit’sfeelingfestive.Everyoneagreedthatweshouldgobigsinceyou’replanningacourthousewedding.”
“Whoa.I’llofficiallybemarriedintwoweeks!”Ninasaysdreamily.
“Asher’saluckyguy.I’mgladhisfamilywasabletojoinustoday.”
“CanyoubelievePóPoallowedit?Youknowhowselectivesheisabouttraditions.She’snotreadytoletmego,Iguess.”
“It’snotlikeyou’regoingofftolivewithhisfamily,nevertoreturn,”Isay.“Unlessyouare,then…”ImovemyhandsupanddownasthoughI’mweighingtheoptions.
Ninagrabsmebythearm.“Hey,let’sgotoTheSpaceship.”
“Rightnow?Don’tyouhavetomingle?”Iask.
“Ijustneedaminute.”Ninaleadsthewaytothefrontyardandclimbsuptheladderofourtreehouse.Dadbuiltitforuswhenwewereyoungenoughtobelievethatthestructurehadmagicalpowers.Nowwejustliketopretendthatitdoes.WenameditTheSpaceshipbecauseittookusonjourneysbeyondourwildestimaginations.
“Canthisthingstillsupportbothofus?”Icalluptoher.
“Ifnot,wegodowntogether!”sheyellsback.
Igripeachbartightlyandslowlyclimbtheladder,pressingmybodyagainstthemetalrungs.“Rememberwhenweusedtoplayuphereandpretendwewereflyingtothemoon?”Iask,finallymakingituptheladder.Thetreehousefloorispatternedbytheshadowsofthetreebranches,creatingathousanddifferentever-changingshapes.
“Itwasjustusandthestarsandthatparrotthatwouldneverstopsquawking,”Ninasays.Sheleansbackagainstoneofthetreehouse’swalls.Ijoinheronthefloor.
Ninapullsoutalittleredboxfromthepocketofherdress.“Igotyousomething.Justalittlemaidofhonorgift,eventhoughthere’stechnicallynotgoingtobebridesmaids.”
“No!Today’ssupposedtobeaboutyou!”Ipopopenthelid,revealingalittlegoldhorsecharm.“Thankyou!It’ssopretty!”Istringitontomynecklacesoitdanglesnexttothemoonpendant.
“Iknowyoudon’tagreewithcompatibility,butAsher’stheoneforme.It’slikeyouwithbaking.”Whenshesaysthewordbaking,Ithinkshe’sabouttosayBennettandmyentirebodybreaksoutinalightsweat.“Whenalltheingredientsaremixedtogether,ittastesasitshould.”
IlookintoNina’sroundeyes,hershortdarklashescurled.“Youdon’thavetoconvinceme,”Isay.“Ithinkyoutwoaregreattogether.Whyareyouevenmentioningit?Ithoughtyoudon’tbelieveincompatibilityortheChinesezodiac.”
LikeMom,Ninawantedtodosomethingcompletelydifferentthanthefamilybusiness.Herinterestinthezodiacdidn’tsticklikeitdidforme.TheironywithMomisthatshemarriedsomeonecompatibletoherDogsign.
“Butyoudo.AndPóPoandAuntiedo.IknowyouallworrythatI’mgoingtoendupwithsomeonewhoIcompetewithallthetimebecausewecaretoomuchaboutourownopinions.”Ninatucksalightbrownstrandofhairbehindherears.
“Soundslikesomeone’sbeendoingresearch,”Isay.
“ImayhaveflippedthroughoneofPóPo’szodiacbooks,”sheadmits.“Itwasalittlenerve-wrackingseeingallthosetraitslaidoutlikethat.”
“Andyouworrywe’llthinkthatyou’llhavetocompromisetoomuchandthatyou’llbetoocriticalofeachotherbecauseyou’rebothRoosters?”Iask.
Sheanglesherhead.“Somethinglikethat.Idon’twanttodisappointanyone,butIalsobelievethatAsherandI,whileyes,wehaveourdifferences,aresupposedtobetogether.”
“Youonlydisappointmewhenyou’relateforourbrunchdates,”Ijoke.
Shelaughs.“Butyouhavetoadmitthatyoudidn’tagreewithourrelationshipatfirst,”shesays.“Idon’twanttofeellikeI’mbetrayingmyfamilybynotmarryingsomeonewhoisn’tamatchinthewayyouallbelieve.”
“Betrayingisastrongword.Thefamilyjustwantsyoutobehappy.That’swhatmatters.”
“Ihopeso,”shesays.
“Thezodiachelpsusunderstandourselvesandourpartners.It’slikePóPosaid,lifeisnotallornothing.”Iliftafallen,waxyleafandturnitbetweenmyfingers.“Atfirst,yes,”Icontinue,“Iwashesitantabouttheincompatibility.Mylife’spurposeistohelppeoplefindtheircompatiblepartners.AndIknowfirsthandhowincompatibleboyfriendscanturnout.ButnowthatI’vegottentoknowAsherandhaveseenyoutwotogetherovertheyears,there’snoquestioninmymindthatyouweremeanttobe.”
“Youpromise?”Ninaasks.
Inod.“Asher’sconfidentandfightsforwhathewants.You’reconsiderateandtakethetimetomakesurethingsaredonetherightway.Sure,youmightbuttheadseverynowandthen,butIseetwopeoplewhoarestrongindividualswhoareevenstrongertogether.Iftherewereblockersthatyoubothfeltyoucouldn’tgetpast,thatwouldbeadifferentstory.”
“Mmm,”Ninagroansandleansherheaduptofacethesky.“Youdon’tsoundlikeyou.Youcan’treallybelieveallthat.”
“Ibelieveincompatibility,andIwantyoutobehappy.You’remysisterandmybestfriend.You’retheexception.”IgiveNinaalightnudgeonherknee.
Shegivesmeasmallsmile.“Itmustbenicetohaveguidelinesforyourself.Loveissomessy.”
Ilaughhumorlessly.“Wanttoknowasecret?”Idrawinaquickbreath.“SometimesIenvyyourfreedomofnotbeingtetheredtotheconfinesofthezodiac.”
Ninareachesouttoholdmyforearm.“Olivia,neitherareyou.”
Imakeadisbelievingface.
“You’vealwaysbeendetermined,”shecontinues.“Youacttough,butyou’rearomantic.Loveisyouroxygen.Maybeyouneedtoputyourmaskonfirstbeforehelpingothers.”
Myphonelightsupwithatextmessage,andIquicklypickitup.ItapintoatextfromAsshole,acodenameIassignedtoBennettincaseanyonelooksatmyphonewhenamessagecomesthrough.Anuncontrollablesmilespreadsacrossmyface.
WemoveduptheproductlaunchjustsoIcoulduseittofindyouthebestmatchpossible.Getreadyforagoodtime.
“What’sthatsmirkfor?WasitsomethingAssholesaid?”Ninaasks,hervoicethickwithcuriosity.
“It’sjustspam,”Isayoffhandedly.
“Yeah,right.Anddon’ttellmeit’saclient.YouarewaytooprofessionaltonameaclientAssholeinyourphone.”
“Fine.HisnameisBennett,”Ianswerafteralongpause.“He’sthefounderofZodiaCupid,LunarLove’snewcompetitor.Itriedtogainintelfromhimatabakingclass.It’salongstorythatIdon’twanttogetintonow,buttrustmewhenIsayit’snothing.”
Ninastaresatmewithalookofsurpriseandamusement.“It’snothing,buthe’stextingyou?Bennett,”Ninasays,tryingouthowthenamesounds.“Whatareyou,datingorsomething?Theirony.”
“Please.When’sthelasttimeIwentonadate?”
“Uh,soundslikewhenyouwenttothisbakingclass,”Ninasays,likeit’sthemostobviousfactintheworld.
Ibalk.“Thatwasn’tarealdate.Idon’thavetimetospendonanyonewithalltheworkIhave.Theto-dolistneverends.”
Sherollshereyes.“Don’tletyourneedtogetaheadstandinthewayoflove.”
“Isn’tsuccessultimatelymoresatisfying?”Iask,halfjoking.
“HowveryAmericanofyou.Youknowthetwoaren’tmutuallyexclusive,right?”Ninaasks.“Ifyouwant,youcantotallybringhimtothewedding!”
“Notyou,too!”
Ninalaughs.“Sorry!MaybePóPo’smatchmakingisrubbingoffonme.Isshestilltryingtofindyouaplusone?Eitherway,theinvitestandsforyoutobringhim.”
Icoughoutalaugh.“God,no!He’snot…anything.We’renotdating,andIdefinitelycan’tbringhimtoyourwedding,”Isay.Becausehe’smyarchenemywhoI’minthemiddleoftakingdown.There’sabsolutelynofutureforusasprospectivepartners,andmixingbusinesswithmyfamilywouldbedisastrous.
“Whynot?”Ninaasks,humored.“Areyougoingtogetintroubleifyoudo?”
“Well,heisaRat,”Isay.
“Andthatmakesyou,what,oppositesorsomething?”Ninaasks,lookingwaytooentertained.Hereyeswidenasthoughshe’sfiguredsomethingout.“Wait.Thisiswhyyou’rebeingsopositiveaboutmeandAsher.”
“I’malwayspositiveaboutlove,Nina.It’smyjob!”
Ninasmirks.“Notlikethis.”
“Thisguy…he’smycompleteopposite,”Iarticulate,thinkingoutloud.“Icanseeitnow.HishungerformoneyandobsessionwithdatawillbetoooverwhelmingformeandhowImakedecisions,whichsomemightcalltooemotional.He’ssecretiveanddoesn’tshowhiscardsrightaway,whereasIliketoknowthingsimmediately.Iwouldn’tbeabletotellwhathistruemotivesare,andthatwouldannoyme.He’llwantfeedbackoneverylittlething,andI’llbeturnedoffbysomeonewhoisn’tself-assured.Yousee?It’suselesstoevenpretendtherecouldeverbesomethingbetweenus.”
Ninaleansover,herelbowsdiggingintothesideofherknees.“Ihaven’tdecidedyetifit’scharmingorexhaustingwhenyoudothat‘Icanseeitnow’thing.Youknow,justbecauseyouandyourexweren’tcompatibledoesn’tmeanyoucan’teverbewithsomeoneincompatibleagain,right?”
“Hehasnothingtodowiththis,”Isay,puttingmyhandsupindefense.“I’mprovidingcontextbasedonwhatI’velearnedaboutBennettsofar.”
“Youreallylearnedalotaboutthisguyatonebakingclass,”Ninasaysskeptically.
“Igetpaidtoanalyzepeoplequickly,”Irationalize.
“Ithinkit’samatterofperspective.Hisdataisnumbers.Yourdataistraits,”Ninasays.
“Mydata?That’snothowIviewlove.Basedontraitsandelements,Ihelpcreatea—”
“Spark,right?”Ninaasks.
Iholdmyhandsouttowardher.“Exactly.”
“Justlikeanalgorithm,you’retryingtomakesenseoflove.Youbringordertoitforothers.”
“I’mnottryingtohaveadebateaboutthis.”
Still,herwordslinger.
Shesticksoutherliptopout.Ninalivesforagooddebate.It’swhatmakesherarespectable,albeitexasperating,comicbookeditor.Ifauthorscanreasonablyexplaintheirpoints,Nina’swillingtogoalongwiththem.
“IjustwantyoutobeashappyasIam,”Ninasays.“Youusedtolovebeinginlove.”
Istretchmylegsoutinfrontofme.“Iaminlove.Withmywork.”
Ninaleansherheadbackagainstthetreehousewallandlaughs.
“AndIamhappy,”Icontinue.Ireachforthemoonandhorsependantsaroundmyneck.“IhaveLunarLoveandmyclientsandmyfamilyandmyhealthandPinotandyou.Andcake.There’sneverashortageofcake.Honestly,whatmoredoIneed?”Chapter12
Iwaketothesoundofbuzzingagainstmywoodennightstand.Sensingmovement,Pinotclimbsovermybodytomeowinmyfaceforattention.Half-awake,Ifeelaroundformyphone.
AcryptictextfromBennettappearsonmyscreen.Datedetailscominglatertoday,justneedyoutomakesureyourprofileisup-to-date.
Iflopbackagainstthepillow,checkingthetimeonmyalarmclock.6:15a.m.Iholdmyphoneupintheairwithextendedarms,myeyesadjustingtothebrightglowofmyscreeninthedark.
IcheckZodiaCupid,rememberingBennett’stextonSaturdayabouttheproductlaunch.Where’sthisappupdateyoukeepalludingto?Irespond.
Bennettmessagesbackimmediately.HappyMondaytoyou,too!It’slaunchingthisafternoon.
BeforeIcanrespond,anothermessageappears.
Breakfastonme?Icangiveyouasneakpreview.
Obviously,Ineedthissneakpreview.Icheckmyphonecalendarforanyclientsessions—nonexistent—andmeetingsbeforeagreeingtohisoffer.Exceptforafewcheck-inswithAlisha,myscheduleisworryinglyopen.
Afteracouplehoursofanticipation,ImeetBennettoutsideofUrthCafféindowntownLA.Ialmostdon’trecognizehiminhiswhiteT-shirt,workoutshorts,andrunningshoes.Wetakeourplaceinline,whichluckilyisn’taslongtodayasitismostdays.
“Looksgreat,”Bennettsays,lookingaroundatthequietmorningcrowd.“Ilookedupthisplaceonabuddyofmine’snewlylauncheddish-ratingappandfoundafewitemswithfourstarsthatwecouldtry.”
Imakeaface.“It’sUrth.Mosteverythingisgood.”
“Twohundredandeighty-ninepeopleratedtheeggsandwichfourpointthreestars.Let’smakesurewegetit.”
“Twohundredandeighty-ninepeople?Wow.Well,itmustbegoodthen,”Itease.“Youorderwhatyouwant.IalreadyknowwhatI’mgetting.”Ilookhimupanddown.“Importantmeetingsafterthis?”
“Ijustcamefromahike,actually.Itextedyouonthewayupanddidn’thavetimetogohomeandshower.”Bennetttugsathisnecklineafewtimestoairhisshirtout.It’sstillslightlydampfromhisworkout,thefabricclingingtothecurvesofhischest.
Iimaginehewouldbefirmtothetouch.Likeheworksoutandtakescareofhimself,butnotobsessively.Thetipsofmyfingerspulsewiththedesiretoreachout,justtoseeifI’mright.
“Mmhmm,”Imumbleabsentmindedly.
“IruntoGriffithObservatorythreetimesaweek,thenmeetmyShootfortheStarsgroupupthereeveryMonday.Why?Doesthisoutfitbotheryou?”heasks,hisquestioningeyesslidingdownmyface.Iflush,becominghyperawareofwhatexpressionI’mmaking.
“It’sfine.Don’tfeellikeyouhavetogetdressedupforme,”Isay,watchinghimfanhimself.Despitehavingjustrunupamountain,helookssurprisinglygreat.Hisskinglows,andhismuskysmellisearthierthanusual.Inagoodway.Isitpossiblehelooksevenmorehandsome?
“Noted.You,ontheotherhand,didn’tneedtodressupsomuch,”Bennettsaysinajokingtone.
Iglancedownatmyblackjeans,front-tuckedpinksweater,andplaidblazer.“Imaynotbeseeinganyclientstoday,butI’maprofessional,”Isay.IimmediatelywishIcouldtakebackthetidbitaboutthelackofclientmeetings
“I’monlyteasing.Youlookgreat,”hesays.Hisgazelingersonmeandheatblossomsfrommytoesuptomychest.
“What’sShootfortheStars?”Iask,changingthesubject.
“It’saprogramtotrytogetyoungkidsinterestedinSTEM.WhatbetterplacethantheGriffithObservatorytodoit?”
“It’sperfect,”Iagree.“Griffith’sactuallymyfavoriteplacetohikeinLA.”
Weshuffleforwardintheline.
Bennettnods.“It’sincrediblebeingabletoescapeintonatureinthemiddleofacity.I’llnevertakeitforgranted.”
“Exactly!”Isayexcitedly.Icatchmyselfandtonedowntheenergy.“AndyoubringtheTinSTEM,Iassume?”
Bennettsmiles.“Ido.Itrytomakedataanalytics,computerprogramming,andmachinelearningsoundfun.Which,itis,butsomekidsdon’talwaysseetheappealatfirst.”
“I’msureyouleavequitetheimpression,”Isaywithslightsarcasminmyvoice.“Doyoumakethekidsrunupthemountain,too?”
“It’sthefirstthingtheydo.Iliketomakethemearntheirknowledge,”Bennettsayswithalaugh.
Hesetshismenudownontheregistercounterasweapproach.Weplaceourorders,andhepays,aspromised.Wetakeournumbertoametaltableoutside,settlingintoaspotnexttothebuilding’spaintedbrickwall.
“Let’sseethisnewfeature,”Isay,refocusingonthepurposeforbeinghere.
Bennetttapshisscreenafewtimes.“Here,”hesays,placinghisphoneonthetablebetweenus.Hemoveshischairtotheothersidesohe’ssittingnexttome.HiskneebumpsintomineunderthetablebutIdon’tmovemyseatback.“I’llwalkyouthroughhowthisfeatureworks.”
Inoticethattheupdateddashboardemphasizesthedesignedanimalicons.Alightpinkswipe-throughinstructionpanelpopsupwithillustratedpeoniesinthebackground,introducingmetothelatestadditions.I’mcaughtoffguardbytheuseofpeonies.DidBennettthinkI’dlikethisfeaturebecauseitusesmyfavoriteflower?
Iswipethroughthemini-tutorialandlearnthatpeoplereceiveapeonyflowerpetalwhentheymessagewithalltwelveanimalsigns.
“Whenusersmessageotherusersorgoondates,theyearnmorepetals,”heexplains.“Whentheyfilloutfeedbackaboutthedatetohelpthealgorithmimprove,apetalisadded.Ultimately,thepetalsaddupandformablossomedflower.”
“Whatdoyougetwhenyouhaveablossomedflower?”Iask,stillfocusedonthescreen.
“Theyallgetaddedupintoabouquet.Besidesthepublicacknowledgmentofbeingactiveontheapp,we’replayingaroundwiththeideaofsendingusersactualdeliveriesofflowerswhentheyreachacertainnumberofbouquets.”
Awaiterbringsourfoodtothetable.Bennett,surprisesurprise,orderedthetried-and-trueeggsandwichandgreenjuice.IpourmaplesyrupoverthetopofmyBelgianbuttermilkwafflesaftertakingasipofmyEarlGreyicedtea.
“Thenumbernexttothepeonyshowshowactivetheusersareontheapp,soyouknowifsomeone’sseriousaboutbeingonit.Basically,thehigherthenumber,themorepeoplethey’reprobablytalkingto,”Bennettelaborates,movinghiseggsandwicharoundspiritedly.Hebitesintoit,consumingthesandwichslowlyandmethodically.
Somehow,helookscutechewing.Noonelookscutechewing.
“Doesitliveuptothehype?”IaskasIcutmywaffleintosmallerpieces.
“Fourpointthreestarsdidnotdothissandwichjustice!”hesaysexcitedly.“Thisisdefinitelyfourpointfivestars.”Heswallowsandcovershismouthwithhisnapkinashelaughs.It’ssoendearingandinnocentthatmyheartcouldburst.“Here,trysome.”
BennetttwiststheeggsandwicharoundsoI’meatingfromthesidehehasn’tputhismouthon.Ihesitate,buthelooksexcitedformetosharehisenjoyment.Heholdsthesandwichclosertome.WemakeawkwardeyecontactasIbitedown,andmybodyshakeswithnervouslaughterathowintimatethisis.
“Thatmakestwohundredandninety-onesatisfiedcustomers,”Isayteasingly,myfaceflushed.
IscrollpastBennett’speonypetalcountonhisprofile.It’smuchhigherthanIexpected.Iwouldonlyhaveonepetal.
IcanfeelBennettwatchingme,waitingimpatientlyformyreaction.
“Yougamifiedtheapp,”Isayslowly,processingwhatI’mseeing.It’satackyaddition,ultimatelymakingthezodiaclooklikeagame.Peoplearenowplayersinadifferentsenseoftheword
“Iwasinspiredbyyourfavoriteflower,”hesays.“Ithoughtitwasbeautifulandkindofperfectthattheysymbolizeprosperity,goodluck,andbestofall,loveandtherebirthofrelationships.Somuchmeaning!”Bennettwipescrumbsfromhismouth.
Iwanthimtoknowhowinsensitivehisgamificationmovefeels,buthe’sclearlyproudofthis.Ichoosemywordscarefully.“Wow”isallthatcomesout.Icandobetterthanthat.
“Iseewhatyouweretryingtodo.Whatifyou,Idon’tknow,focusedondeepeningtheelementsofthezodiacitselfinstead?”Ipropose.
Bennett’ssmilefalls.“Oh,doyounotlikeit?”
Ipausemidbite,apieceofwafflehoveringawkwardlybetweenmyplateandmouth.“Howhonestdoyouwantmetobe?”Iask.
Bennettshiftsinhisseat.“Well,Iwantedyouropinion,so…Iguesstellmewhatyoureallythink.”
ThisiswhereIcanedgeZodiaCupidoutandencouragehimtocontinuedownthepathofsomethingthatwouldbebadforhiscompany.Icanseeitnow.Betatestersfeelplayedandleavehisappforusbecauseweactuallyvalueloveandmatchpeoplebasedoncompatibility.Tous,loveisn’tacompetition.
IwatchBennettcarefully.Icouldlieandsaythisisagoodmove,thatpeoplewillloveit.ButwhenIlookintohiseyes,Icanonlytellthetruth.
“I’mgenerallynotafanofaddinggamingelementsintonongamingspaces,especiallywhenitcomestolove,”Iadmit.“Ithinkithasthepotentialtomakepeoplefeelbadiftheydon’thaveahighpeonycount.Ortheymightfeelpressuretoreachouttopeoplejusttolookpopularordesired,asthoughit’sbettertohaveahigherscoresothepeonyfullyblossoms.”
Bennettlistenscarefullytomywords.
“Doessuccesslooklikehighpetalcountsorqualitymatchesthatcan’tbeassignednumbers?”Icontinue.“Gamingelementscanalsobereallyaddicting,which,Igetit,youwanttoencouragepeopletobeontheapp,butitfeelsabitforced.”
Bennettdropshisheadindisappointment.MaybeI’vesaidtoomuch.
“I’msorry,”Icontinue.“Ididn’tmeantoupsetyou.”
“That’stoughtohear,”hesays,rubbinghishandoverhisface.“Butmaybeyoushouldtryitbeforeyoufullyjudgeit.Thisfeaturewillhelpmefindtheloveofyourlife,afterall.”
Myentirebodyshuddersatthethought.“Howexactly?”Iask,unconvinced.
Bennettleansforward,andIfeelhisarmheatagainstmyown.“FromwhatIknowaboutyousofar,Isuspectyou’dwanttobewithsomeonewhodoesn’thavealotofpeonypetals.Thisfeatureletsmeknowwho’sactivebutnottooactive.Icanseewhichanimalsyouinteractwithmostandthereviewsfromthedates.BecauseIwon’thaveaccesstoyourprofilefromyourphone,I’llhavetolookonthebackendwhoyoumatchwith.I’llhavetocoordinateyourdatedetailswithwhoeverIchooseforyouwhilepretendingtobeyou.”
“Isthisyourploytomesswiththealgorithm?YoucanonlymatchmewithsomeoneIactuallymatchedwith.”
Bennettbendscloser.“Iwantyoutofallinlove.Someonematchingonyourprofileisthebestwayformetofindloveforyou.Whichremindsme.Canyouupdateyourprofileasthoughyouwereusingtheappforreal?”
“Thisisridiculous,”Isay,launchingZodiaCupidonmyphoneandreviewingmyprofile.Morefunfactspopuponthescreen.“DidyouknowRembrandtwasaHorse?”
“Hewas,”Bennettsays.Ican’ttellifthatsoundedmorelikeaconfirmationoraquestion.
“WhenIlearnedthatlittledetail—fromyourfunfacts,thankyouverymuch—Iwonderedwhattraitsheembodied.Whowasthemanbehindsomeofhistory’smosticonicpaintings?”Imuse.Ifilloutthepromptsonmyprofilewithmoredetailedinformationaboutmyself.
“Iwrotethosefunfacts,thankyouverymuch.Anditwaspassion.Themanhadpassion.Hewouldn’tstopuntilhereachedgreatness,”Bennettclarifies.“Heachievedgreatwealthinhislife…untilhelostitallbynotgettingenoughcommissionedportraitworkandmakingsomebadinvestments.”Heliftshisgreenjuiceglassinatoast.“Buthey,topassion!”
IfightbacktheimpulsetolaughbutBennett’sflirtysmilehasrenderedmedefenseless.Iliftmyicedteainamocktoast.
“There.Updated,”Isay,settingmyphonenexttomyplate.“So,aboutthewholelovething.WhenareyougoingtofinallytellmeaboutyourfeelingsforHarper?Ihaven’thadachancetocatchupwithheryet.”
Bennettshiftshisfootingandleansbackagainstthischair.“She’simpressive,outgoing,accomplished,andhasacontagiousloveoffood,”hestarts.“But—”
“But?Nobuts,”Isay.
“ButIdon’tthinkshe’sthegirlIcanseemyselfloving.Like,fallinginlovewith.”
“You’veonlybeenononedate!Don’ttellmeyoualsobelieveinloveatfirstsight?”Isighinexasperation.
Bennettlaughs.“I’msorry,”hesays,soundinglikehemeansit.
Ishakemyheadfromsidetoside.“Idon’tacceptthat.IfHarperwantstoseeyouagain,youneedtogoonaseconddate.Giveherachance.Youbothseemedtohititoff.”
Bennettfiddleswiththestrawinhisnow-emptyjuiceglass.“Shewasinterestingtotalkto,”hesaysasthoughhe’sactuallyconsideringit.“Ifshewantsaseconddate,I’mopentoit.”
Ibreatheoutinrelief,thoughasliverofanxietycreepsin.“Great.I’llkeepyouposted.”
“Don’tforget,yourdateisnext.”Bennett’slipsfirmintoastraightline,hisgazequicklywanderingovermyface.
“Thethoughtkeepsmeupatnight,”Isaymelodramatically.“There’snowayI’mforgettingaboutit.”
Bennettknockshiskneeintomine,andIcan’ttellifit’sonpurposeornot.Thecontactmakesthehaironmyarmsspringtolife.
“Idoappreciateyourhonesty,nomatterhowbrutal,”Bennettsays.“Everyoneonmyteamactedliketheylovedtheidea.Maybeacoupleofthemwereholdingbacktheirrealthoughts.Thankyoufornotlyingtome.”
Myheartflips.Nogrudgeshere.
“Thanksforthewaffles.”Ishrug.“Andit’syourbusinesssoyoushoulddowhatyouthinkisbest.”
“Insurveysthatwesentouttousers,fifty-eightpercentsaidthey’dlikethis,”Bennettsays.“Ithoughtthiscouldincreaseuserengagement.”
Ishrugmyshoulders.“Peopleusingyourapparelookingforhumanconnectionandlove.Gamificationplaysupdatatoomuchformytaste.You’veessentiallymadetheirdatinglivesagame.Loveisn’tagametoeveryone.”
“I’mtryingtomakeitfun,”Bennettexplains.“Especiallyforthosewhoarealreadyontheedgeaboutthezodiac.Thismightkeeptheminterested.”
“Maybe.Butisthatreallywhyyouwantpeopleusingyourapptobeginwith?”IpushastrawberryintomymouthasIthink.“RememberthesceneinBigwhenTomHanksissittinginamarketingmeetingplayingwithabuildingthatturnsintoarobot?”
Bennett’seyeslightup.“Yes.Hebreaksoneofthearmsoff.”
“Right!”Isay.“Theguyrunningthemeetingisshootingoffallthesedatapointsandnumbersaboutwhatkindsoftoyskidsareplayingwith.Butit’snotwhatkidsreallywant.TomHanksknowsthisbecauseheisstillakid.Heignoreswhatthenumbersindicateandthinksupadifferentgreatideabasedongutinstinctandemotion.Hebecomesasuccessfultoydesignerbecauseofhisfeelingsabouttoys,notbecauseofdata.”
Bennettfurrowshisbrowsandholdshishandoverhismouthandnose.“You’reright.Ican’tbelieveI’veneverthoughtaboutitlikethatbefore.I’vealwaysfoundcomfortinnumbers.They’reconsistent,reliable.”
“Untilyou’redrivenpurelybynumbersandallyoumakearepurelyfinanciallymotivateddecisions,”Isayinagentletone.Myentirebodyachesattherecollectionofhismotherandwhyhedoesthat.Ihavetoactivelyresisttheurgetoholdhim,hughim,andrubhisbackinsupport.
“Moneykeepsthelightson.”Bennettscootsbackinhischairhalfafootandleanshiselbowupagainstthebackofthechair.“Indefenseofnumbers,they’renotalwayssuchabadthing.Numbersgiveyoufeedbackandadirectiontomovetoward.”
“Maybe,”Isay,unconvinced.
“Here’sanexample.Wefoundthateighty-eightpercentoftheuserswesurfacedthezodiacsignfunfactstoenjoyedtheappexperiencemorethanthosewhodidn’tseethem.Theyreferredustotheirfriendsandgaveushighscoresinoursurveys.”
“Really?”Iaskwithahintofskepticism.Bennettrunshishandsdownhisthighs,thefabricofhisshortspullingtighteragainsthisskin.Ilookawaybeforehecatchesmestaring.
Bennettletsoutashortlaughandsmiles.Hecaughtmestaring.
“Infact,theyevenrequestedmoreinformationabouttheChinesezodiac,”hesays.
“Well,that’sgood,”Isay,bitingmylip.Imeanit,eventhoughIdon’twanttointhismoment.Anythingthatgetspeopleexcitedaboutthezodiacisapositiveinmyeyes.
“Anyway,I’mgladIranthisbyyoubeforelaunching.Ihavealottothinkaboutanddiscusswiththeteam.”
“Anytime,”Isayasacomfortablesilencefallsbetweenus.“Well,Ishouldgetgoing.Someofushaverealworktodo.”
Westandtoheadourseparateways.“I’llbeintouchwithyourdatedetails,”Bennettsays,pushinghischairintoitsoriginalspot.
“Can’twait,”Imumble.IfBennettaskedmewhenthelasttimeIwentonadatewas,Iwouldn’tbeabletotellhimbecauseIcan’tevenrememberwhenthatwas.Icoachpeopleallthetimeabouthowtodateandremaincalmaboutit,yetmyownadvicedoesn’tbringmesolace.
“Hey,Iwentintoyourdatewithanopenmindandagoodattitude,”Bennettsays,snappingmefreefrommynegativethoughtspiral.“Youowemethat.”
“Ioweyounothing,”Isay,“butI’llbeonmybestbehavior.”
Bennettloomsoverme,studyingmyunamusedexpression.“Ithinkwatchingyoufallinloveisgoingtobethehighlightofmycareer.”Chapter13
HisnameisOwenRossi,andhe’sYearoftheTiger,”Bennettexplains,listingoffthekeypointsfrommydate’sprofile.ItryonabluehatinthesouvenirshopatDodgerStadium,whereI’llapparentlybemeetingmyperfectmatchnamedOwen.Thestoreisfilledwithzealousfanseagertospendhard-earnedmoneyonoverpricedteesandhatstoprovetheirloyaltytotheirfavoriteteamandplayers.
IgiveBennettanimpressedlook.“Acompatiblesign,”Isay.“Interesting.Worriedthatyourincompatibletheorywasn’tgoingtopanout?”
Bennettliftsthehatoffmyheadanddropsapinkoneinitsplace.Helooksatmyreflectioninthemirrorandshakeshishead,pullingthepinkcapoff.
“Wedoboth,”hesays.
“Didyoureallyneedtobuyatickettobehere?Icanhandlethisonmyown.”
“Mine’sanosebleedseat.Ineedtomakesureyoudothisthehonestway.AtleastI’mcandidaboutbeinghere,”Bennettsays.“You’remeetingOwenattheseats.You’llbebehindhomeplate.”
Iwhistleinalowtune.“Theseticketsmusthavecostafortune.Ithoughtyouhaven’traisedmoneyyet?”
Bennettflipsthroughthereplicaplayerjerseysonhangerslookingforaspecificsizeandturnshisheadtowardme.“Normally,userspayfordates,butbecauseofourarrangement,ZodiaCupidtreatedyoutwotothis.Ourhopeisthatusersaren’tgoingonalotofdates,andthattheonestheydogoonareenjoyable.”
Irummagethroughkeychainsinabasket.“I’mnotcomplaining.Ihaven’tbeentoagameinyears.Iusedtocomeherewithmydadallthetime.Helovesbaseball.”
Bennettholdsajerseyoutinfrontofhimandthendrapesitagainsthimself,lookingdownatitandthenbackupatme.“Howdoesthislook?”
It’sasimple,casualquestionthatforcesmetolookathim.No.Notlook.Observe.Toevaluatehowthewidthoftheshirtalignswithhisshoulders.Perfectly.Tofollowthebuttonsdownhistorsotoensurethelengthworksforhim.Itdoes.Thepolyestertopfallsagainsthischestflatteringly,theshallowV-neckdrawingmyattentiontoplacesthatarewildlyinappropriategiventhecircumstances.
Suddenlymyneckiswarm,andmyentirebodytightensinresponse.Igriponeofthekeychainstighterbetweenmyfists.ItfeelstoointimateviewingBennettinthiswayandhelpinghimdecidewhattowear.
Itiltmyhead,notcommittingtoadecisioneitherway.“It’ssporty,”Isayvaguely.Now,ifOwenwantsanopiniononhowtoclothehimself,Imightbewillingtogiveit.BecauseOwenismydate.Bennettisnot.
“Soyourdadlovesbaseball?”Bennettasks,followingupfrombefore.
Iavertmyeyesfromthetopthat’sstillpressedagainsthisbody.“What?Oh.Yeah.Hewriteslow-budgethorrorflicks.SomeofhispastfilmsareTheGreenMonsterandFieldofNightmares.Haveyouheardofthose?He’sstilltryingtowriteamoviethatwillearnacultfollowing.”
Bennettlooksamused.“Isadlyhaven’t,butthey’renowonmylist.”
Oneofthesleeveshasfallenacrosshischest,andinthisbriefmomentofnotbeingputtogether,helookssoboyishlyhandsomethatIalmostcan’thandlehowadorableitis.“Yougoingtobuythatorsomething?”Iask,probablycomingoffmoreflusteredthanIintendto.
Bennettslingsthejerseyoverhisarm.“Ithinkso.Idon’tknowwhothisplayeris,butitfeelsrighttoblendin.”
Ifeelthecornersofmymouthturnupward.“That’stheteamspirit,”Isayplayfully.
“Youwantone,too?Wecanmatch.”
Iholdupahand.“I’mgood.Baseballwasanastutechoice,”Isay,consideringitsenvironmentforfirstdates.“It’safairlyquietgamethatallowsforsmalltalk,ithasthebeststadiumfood,andthere’sagoodviewfrommostseats.I’lladmitI’mimpressed.”IlookupatBennettwithanapprovingsmile.
Bennett’slipsformastraightline.“Actually,Owenchosethis.”
“Welldone,Owen.”Ipushdownontheheadofabobbleheadandnodalongwithit.“Orwasitbecauseoftheprofilematching?AtleasthereadwhatIwrote.Let’shopethat’sagoodsign.”
Bennettplucksthebobbleheadoutofmyhandsandreplacesitwithmyticket.“It’stimeforyoutogettoyourseat.Andremember,keepanopenmind.”
Imarchdownthestepstowardmyseatandfindamanalreadyseated.MyheartpoundsnervouslywhenIseehim.Theideaofmeetinghimwaseasierasaconcept,butarealpersoninfrontofmemakesthisuncomfortablyreal.ImakeeyecontactwithwhoIthinkisOwenandsayhisnameinaquestionform.Henodsandstands.He’smaybefourorfiveinchestallerthanme.We’reluckilyontheoutsideoftherowsoIcanmakeaquickescapeifneedbe.Iextendmyhandforashake,andhemimicsmymovement.
“Isthatseatgoodforyou?I’mhappytoswitch,”OwensaysasIsecuremyspotontheaisle.Itiltmyheadtogetabetterlookathim.Hehasbrightblueeyes,sandyblondhair,andfairskincoveredinpalefreckles.
“I’mfinehere,thanks,”Isay,notinghismanners.Ienjoytheexpansiveviewfromtheseats.Twoscoreboardsstandtallacrossthefieldwiththecrispmountainsilluminatedbytheloweringsunbehindthem.Fanscarryingfoodanddrinksslowlyoccupythemulticoloredpastelseatswhilemusicblastsaroundus.
Itapmykneeself-consciously.Talkingtostrangersisn’tusuallysuchachallengeforme.IcouldpretendI’monaSinglesScouting.Nope.No.I’mheretogivethisanhonestshot.Don’tthinkaboutbusinessrightnow.
“So,whatnumberdateamI?”Ifinallyask,notbeingabletohelpmyself.
Owenlooksover,appearingconfused.“Excuseme?”
“OnZodiaCupid.Howmanydateshaveyoubeenon?”
“Oh!I’veonlybeenonafew.EveryoneI’vemetthroughtheapphasactuallybeenlovely.Ijusthaven’thititoffwithanyoneinthewaythatI’mlookingfor,”Owensaysinawaythatsoundsrehearsed.Hemustbenervous.
“Sure,sure,”Isay,dippingmyhead.“Andyouliketheapp?”
Owennarrowshisbabybluesatme.“Youdon’tworkforZodiaCupid,doyou?”heaskssuspiciously.
Isuccessfullyavoidlettingoutalaugh.“Definitelynot!”
“Whatdoyoudothen?”
“Right,youonlyknowwhat’sonmyprofile,”Isay.Iconsiderlyingagainbutinsteadtrythetruth.WhathaveIgottolose?“Iworkinmyfamily’sbusiness.I’mactuallythenewownerofourmatchmakingcompanythatmatchespeoplebasedontheirChinesezodiacanimalsigns,too.”
Owengesturesinunderstanding.“Sleepingwiththeenemy.Nice.”
“What?No!”Irecoilbackintomyseat.“I’mjusttestingoutwhat’savailablenow.Whylimityourself,right?”
“That’swhattheysay,”Owenagrees.
Ishakemyhead.“That’swhatwhosaysexactly?”Itease.
“Justpeople,”heanswersfrankly.
“Oh.Okay.”Iscanoverthecrowd,lookingforgoodpeople-watchingopportunities.“Didyouwantanythingtoeatordrink?”Iaskafteraparticularlylongstretchofsilence.
“Icangetit,”Owensays,startingtostand.
“No!I’lldoit.Oneofmyfavoritethingstodoasakidwascontemplatemyfoodoptions.WhoamIkidding?That’smyfavoritethingtodonow,”Isaywithatongue-tiedlaugh.
“Okay,then,I’dloveabeer,please,”Owensays.“ItwasalongWednesday.AndIhadabiglunchsoI’llskipthefood.”
“Yousure?”Iask.“TheyhaveDodgerDogshere!Whereelsecanyougetthat?”
“That’sbasicallyjustabrandedhotdog,”hesays,clearlynotsharingthesameenthusiasmoverbaseballfood.
Isigh.“You’reprobablyright.”
“Please,letmetreat.”Hepullsatwenty-dollarbilloutofhiswallet,reconsiders,andthenaddstwomoretwentiestothepile.“Irememberstadiumfoodbeingexpensive.”
“It’soneofthetastiestscams,”Isay.Weshareourfirstlaugh,andsuddenlyI’mcaughtoffguard.ZodiaCupidmatchedmenotonlywithsomeonecompatible,butwithsomeoneI’mnotcompletelymiserablebeingaround.Awkward,butnotmiserable.It’sstillearly.
Withastackofmoneyinhand,IscurryupthestairsandfindBennettinhisnewjerseywaitingatthetop.
Iclutchthesixtydollarstomychestinsurprise.“Canyoustopdoingthat?Itscaresmeeverytime.”
Bennettleansagainstapolewithhisarmscrossed.“I’mjuststandinghere.”
Ijerkmythumbtowardthefield.“Shouldn’tyoubeoutthere?Yourteammatesaredependingonyou.”
Hesmoothsouthisjersey.“I’mdoingmydailyautographround,”Bennettsayswithasmile.
“You’remakingmenervous!Doyouneedtobecreepilywatchingfromthetopofourrow?”
“Justmakingsureyou’reokay,”hesays.
“Fromtheguy…youmatchedmewith?”Iask.“Oh,right,youdon’tdobackgroundchecksonyourusers,soforallweknow,Icouldberubbingshoulderswithsomeonewhoburglesortextswhiledriving!”
Bennett’sshouldersshakewhenhelaughs.“That’stheworstyoucanthinkof?”
“I’mtheonewhohastominglewiththeshoplifterforthenextnineinnings,”Isay.“I’mnotlettingmymindgotodarkerplaces.”
“What’shelike?”Bennettasks.
“What’shelike?”Irepeat.“Youdon’tknowanythingaboutwhoI’monadatewithrightnow,doyou?”
Bennettmakesaface.“Ourappisthematchmaker,notus.”
Chantingstartsbelowusasmusicplays,stops,plays,stops.Thefoodlevelispackedwitheagerfanselbowingeachotheroutoftheway,rushingtostandinlineforgreasy,starchyconcessions.Childrensprintaroundwithpacksofcandyandtraysoffriesinhand.Isteptothesidetododgeamanbalancingthreecupsofbeerswhenalittlegirlwithstrawberryicecreamcrashesintomeconefirst.IfeelBennettsteadyingmewithbothhands,hisfirmgriparoundmyshoulderssendingshiversdownmyarms.
“Areyouokay?”Iaskthegirl,whostandslookingstunned,herscoopoficecreamnowdecoratingthefrontofmywhitetee.Withwideeyesbrimmingwithtears,shenodsslowly.
Bennettpullshiswalletfromhisjeansandtakesoutafive-dollarbill.Hekneelsdownanduseshisthighasaflatsurfacetoquicklyfoldthebillintotheshapeofanicecreamcone.Thelittlegirlwatcheson,amazed.Whenheholdstheicecreambillupinfrontofher,shebreaksintoawidetoothlesssmile,notearsinsight.
“Itlookslikeyougaveheragiantpinkbellybutton,”Bennettsaystothegirl,holdingbackalaugh.“Lookskindacool,huh?Gogetyourselfanothericecream.Andstayclosetoyourparents.”Thelittlegirltakestheicecreambillandrunsbacktoalittleboyattheicecreamkiosk.
“Thatwassweetofyou,”Isayquietly.
“That’sliterallytheonlythingIknowhowtomakewithmoney,”Bennettsays,“soit’sagoodthingshedidn’trunintoyouwithasoftpretzel.Areyouokay?”
“Oh,yeah.Pinkisalltheragenowadays,didn’tyouknow?Iactuallytoldhertodothat,”Isaywithasmile.BennettlaughsbeforerunningovertothenearestfoodstandtograbawadofnapkinsasIwipechunksofstrawberryoffmyjeanswithmyhands.Bennettreturnsandhandsmeasmallcupofwater.Hestepscloser,liftingmyrightarmandgentlywipingthecoldpinkicecreamoffwiththeroughnapkins.
“Icandothat,”Istart.
“Igotyou,”Bennettsaysinalowvoice.Beingthisclosetohimrequirestiltingmyheadbackfurther.Hedipsthenapkinintothewaterandcleansoffthestickinessthatthemeltedicecreamleftbehind.
Bennettreleaseshisgrip,slidinghishanddownmyarms.Histouchisdisorienting.Thenheunbuttonsthejerseyandtakesitoff,lookinglikehisusualselfagaininasimplenavytee.Hewrapsthejerseyaroundmyshoulders,andIliftmyarmstotuckthemintotheshortsleeves.IlooklikeI’vebeenswallowedwholebyawhiteDodgersjersey.
“Thanks,”Isaydistractedly,elongatingmynecktoseewhathishazeleyeslooklikefromthisdistance.Stillsoulful.
Bennettbringsthecollartogetheratthebaseofmyneckandfiddleswiththetopbutton.Icansensethepresenceofhishands,everynerveinmybodytingling.Itdrivesmeabsolutelywild.Hepullshishandsbackformetofinishthebuttoning.
“Yousmelllikeahotdog,”Isay,regainingmyawareness.Myfingersfumblearoundthebuttons,anewnervousnessovertakingmymotorskills.
“Isthatagoodthing?”heasks.“IateaDodgerDogearlier.Youcanonlygetthemhere.”
“Right!”Inod.“Yougetit!”Itaketheremainingnapkinsandwipeupthenow-absorbeddessertfrommyjeans.
“YoushouldbetalkingwithOwen,notupherewaitinginlines,”hesayssomewhatbegrudgingly.
“Thefood’suphere,andthegame’sdownthere.Unlessyouhavesuggestions?”Isay,holdingoutthemoneytowardhim.
Bennetttakesthemoney.“Fine.Whatdoyouwant?”
“Ooh,”Isay,tuckingahandundermychinwhileIthink.“Whatsoundsgood?Let’sstartwithasoftpretzelwithextrasalt,achilidogwithextracheese,curlyfries,andoneofthoselongredlicoricethings.AndabeerforOwen.Thanks!”Iturnbacktowardmyseat.
“Bebackhereintenminutes!”heshoutsbehindme.
There’sawavemovingaroundthepackedstadiumthatreachesusjustasImakeitbacktomyseat.
“Nicejersey!”Owensaysasheflingshisarmsup.“Where’sthefood?”
“It’sbeingprepared,”Isay,raisingmyarmsinresponsetothecrowd.“I’llgrabitinafew.What’dImiss?”
“Honestly,Icouldn’ttellyou,”hesays.“Idon’tknowanyoftheplayers’namesoranythingthatthey’redoing.Baseball’sfuntowatch,butIjustcan’tgetintoitthewayotherscan.”
“Baseballshowsuswhoweare,whetherweknowtheplaysornot,”Isaydramatically,rattlingoffalinefromoneofmydad’smostpopularmovies.
“Isn’tthatfromHomer,Run?”Owenasks.“Ilovethatmovie.”
Ieagerlyturntowardhiminmyseat.“Youknowthatone?”
“It’saclassic.I’mabitofahorrorfilmbuff.”
“Cool,”Isay,realizingIhaven’tactuallyhadachancetolookathisprofilemyself.“Whatisityoudo,Owen?”
“Iworkinmyfamily’sbusiness,too,”hesays.“WerunawineryinMalibu.”
Myearsperkupatthisinformation.“Tellmemore!”
“I’mthefourthgenerationofCaliforniafarmers,”Owenexplains.“Imanagetheoperationsofthevineyard,andmysisterrunsthetastingroom.There’salotmorepeopleinvolved,butwe’restartingtotakeovermoreoftheresponsibility.”
Owensharesmoreabouthisfamily’swineryandhisdesiretoexecutenewideaswhilemaintainingthehistoryandreasonswhycustomershaveremainedloyal.It’snicetobeabletochataboutsimilarbusinessstrugglesandhearaboutsomeoneelse’sworriesforachange.
“Thinkthatfoodisready?”Owensaysafterdescribinghowthewine-bottlingprocessworks.
“Oops!Letmegofindout,”Isay.IcheckthetimeonmyphoneandseeafewtextsfromBennett.It’sbeenthirtyminutes.
IclimbthestairstwoatatimeandfindBennettwaitingatthetop.
“Food’scold,beer’swarm.Here’safoamfinger,”Bennettsays.Iholdmyarmout,andheslidesthefoamfingerovermyhand,balancingthetrayoffoodontop.“Didyougetlostorsomething?”
“OwenandIweretalking,”Isay.“Icanseewhyyoupickedhim.”
Bennett’sposturestiffens.“Oh,great.Soit’sgoingwell?”
“Surprisingly,”Isay,tossingacurlyfryintomymouth.
“Youthinkyou’llseehimagain?”Bennettasks,hiseyebrowsfurrowed.
“We’reonlyinthe”—Isay,lookingbacktowardthefield—“thirdinning.We’rejusttalking.Ifwetakeofftoelope,I’llsendyouacourtesytext.”
Bennettscruncheshismouthintoasmile.“Well,uh,good.I’mgladit’sgoingwell.”
“Okay.Good.Sothenwhydoyoulookconcerned?”
Bennettputshishandsuponhiships.“Who,me?ThisiswhatIlooklikewhenI’mright.BecauseofZodiaCupid.You’rehittingitoffwithsomeoneyoumetonmyapp.Maybeweknowwhatwe’redoingafterall,huh?”
Iripoffapieceofcoldsoftpretzelanddipitinthecupofmustard.“Iseewhyyoupickedhim.He’scute,thoughyoucouldn’thaveknownthat,soyougotluckyonthatone.He’salsoexcitedbythechallengeofrunninghisfamily’sbusiness.Icanrespectalegacy.Fromwhathesharedwithme,itsoundslikehemakesgoodinstinctivedecisions.It’sclearhecaresaboutbothhisworkandfamily.”Ipopthemustardypretzelintomymouth.
“YouwereeasiertocrackthanIthought.”Bennettlooksperplexedasheshiftshisfooting.
“Don’tgettooexcited.”Iwrinklemynose.“Thisismehavinganopenmind.Thisisgood!Youwantsome?”
“Didyouknowthat,intheseventeenthcentury,softpretzelswereincorporatedintoweddings?Thebrideandgroomwouldmakeawish,breakthepretzel,theneatit.Kindoflikeabig,soft,loopywishbone.”Bennettyanksachunkofpretzeloff,dipsitinmustard,andthencramsitintohismouth.“Good,”hesaysbetweenafullbite.
Ilaughoutloudathisgoofiness.“Youhavemustardonyourlip,”Isay,tentativelyreachingforward.“MayI?”
“Oh,this?Iwantthatthere,”hesays,anglinghisheadback.
Withmyfoamfinger–freehand,Ituckmythumbintoanapkinanddelicatelywipetheyellowsmudgeoffhisface.ThebacksofmyfingersrestagainsthischeekasIpressagainsttheedgeofhislips.
“There,”Isay,myfingersgrazinghisjawline.Heatshootsthroughthecenterofmybody,andIquicklyinhaleabreathofair.
“Thanks,”hesaysquietly.AsmiledisruptsBennett’sseriousface.
Ifollowhislaughlinesovertohisgold-fleckedeyesanddowntohisrosylips.They’reslightlyparted,asthoughsomethingimportanttosayisonthetipofhistongue.Theshoutingof“SweetCaroline”inthestadiumgrowslouder,pullingmeoutofmydaze.
“Iknowouranimalsigntraitsmatchwelltogether,butcompatibilityis,well,it’scomplex,”Isay,pickingupwhereIthinkweleftoff.Icrumplethemustard-stainednapkininmyhand.“LikeIsaid,we’reonlyinthethirdinning.Don’tstartthinkingofpodcasttalkingpointsyet.”
Bennetteyesmeup.“It’scomplex,oryoumakeitcomplex?”
Ilookdownatthetrayofcoldfood.“Hey,nexttimeIcomebackhere,thinkyoucanbringoneofthosesmallplasticDodgerscapswithnachosinit?”Iask,ignoringhisquestioncompletely.
“What?Oh,yeah,sure,”Bennettsays,lookingdistracted.HeleansovertherailinginthedirectionofwhereOwenandIaresitting.
“Also,goodnews.Harpersaidshe’sopentoanotherdate,”Iadd.“ThisFridayworkforyou?”
Bennettrefocusesonme.“IpromisedyouI’dbeopentoit,soI’llbethere.”
“Fantastic.Iknewyoutwowouldhititoff,”Isay.“Okay,Ishouldprobablygodowntomyseat.Don’tforgetthenachoshat.”
“Doyouwantdessert?Icanbuyyoudessertafteryoueatyournachos,”heasks.
“Idon’tthinkit’sagoodideatomixnachosandicecream.”
“Whataboutachurro?”heoffers.
Ishakemyhead.“Thatmightbetoomuchgreasyfoodforonegame.”
“Thatcouldbetrue,”hesays,seeminglydisappointed.
IcarrythefooddowntoOwen,who’sinthemiddleofaphonecalltalkingaboutgrapesandcorks.
“Takethese,”Iwhisper.“I’llberightback.Iforgotsomething.”
Iraceupthestairs,foamfingerslicingthroughtheairasIrun.
“Bennett!Bennett!”Iyell.
Heturnsaround,lookingsurprised.
“Ialmostforgottotellyou,”Ipant.“It’sveryimportant.”
“Whatisit?”heasks.
“Don’tforgetthejalapenos!”Isay.
Alookofamusementflashesacrosshisface.
“Gotit.Jalapenos,”hesays.“Anythingelse,myQueen?”
ItapthefoamfingeragainstmychinasIthink.“Cheese.Don’tforgetthecheese.”
“Igetit.Youwantnachos.They’reprettystraightforward.Cheese,tomatoes,beans,somekindofmeat.Preferablyapickledjalapenooraredpepper.Maybeevensomesourcream.Understood.”
Iwigglemygiantbluefingerinfrontofhisface.“Nosourcream.”Iboopthetipofhisnose.“Iwanticecream,too.”
Bennettshrugs.“Icanmakethisfasterandmixitalltogether.”
“No,gotothenachostandfirst,thenhavetheicecreamguytopitalloff.”
Bennettchucklesatthis,andIjoinhim.Thelaughteriscontagious,ourshouldersripplinginsync.
“Okay.Getgoing.Idon’twanttokeepyoufromyourdate,”Bennettfinallysays,hiseyesstillwateryfromlaughter.
“Don’tworryabouthim.He’sdowntherefermenting.”Iburstoutinanotherfitoflaughter.
Bennettsmilesbutdoesn’tseemtounderstandthereference.“He’swhat?”
Iside-eyehim.“Youdon’tgetitbecauseyoudon’tknowanythingabouthim!He’sinthewinebusiness,”Iexplain.
“Ah,soheonlygetsbetterwithage,”hesayswithasmirk.
Onceagain,I’mgiddywithlaughter.Iheadbacktomyseatwithastupidgrinonmyface.
Bythetopofthefourthinning,OwenandIhaveexhaustedoursmalltalkandhaveformedanunderstanding.We’llleaveatthetopoftheeighthsowecangetoutoftheparkinglotbeforeeveryoneelse.IsayI’llvisithiswinery’stastingroom,andhevowstolookupLunarLoveifZodiaCupiddoesn’tworkout.
AtextfromAlishabuzzesinmylap.Haveyouseenthesocialmedianumberslately?
IpulluptheTwitterapponmyphoneandtapthenotificationsbubble.80retweets?200likes?Irespond.
Yourmoonsongpairingswithzodiacsignsisbyfarthemostpopularstrategysofar.Afewpeoplehavereachedouttolearnaboutwhatwedo,shemessages.
Feelingrude,IglanceupatOwen,who’sluckilybusymanaginghisownmessages.Icanatleastappreciatetheman’sworkethic.
That’samazing.Let’skeepgoingwiththat.Seeifwecandoublethatnumber.Ifwe’reattractingpotentialclients,it’sworthpursuing.Thesenumbersgiveusadirectiontomovetoward,Iwrite.
Ohno.I’mstartingtosoundlikeBennett.
Istareoutoverthefield,mindlesslyeatingmylicoriceropeandwatchingthesundisappearbehindthestadiumlights.ThefactthatmyfirstdatethroughZodiaCupidwasnotatotalnightmareisslightlyworrying.
Butthebiggestcurveballoftoday—andperhapsthemostdistressingrealization—isthatfortherestoftheinning,allIcanthinkaboutisBennettO’BrienandwhenI’llgettoseehimnext.Chapter14
IwaitatthehandoffpointnearthebottomoftheGettyCenterTramforBennettandHarpertoarrive.TheDrinkingwiththeStarseventattheGettyCenterwassoperfectthatIfull-onsquealedwhenIdiscovereditwashappening.AnhouroflearningaboutthehistoryoftheGetty’smostfamouspaintingsfollowedbyawinepairingunderthe“stars”ofLosAngeles.Andwiththeviewfromthetop,theywon’tbeabletoresisteachother.
WhileIwait,Icheckforanynewemails.ThenameCarolRogerssitsatthetopofmyinbox.
HelloOlivia,
Lovelymeetingyoulastweek!Letmeknowwhenyou’reavailableforacoffeechatandwecannaildownatime.I’llbebringingbyinterestedclientsnextweek,ifthat’sokay?We’llbequickandquiet.Talksoon!
Staysilver,CarolandPoppy
IsighandcloseoutofCarol’semail.I’llrespondlater.
Bennettarrivesearly,lookingdashinginanolivecashmeresweateranddarkjeans.Hesmellslikepinetreesandshampoo,asthoughhejuststeppedoutofanoutdoorshowerintheforest.
Hisfacelightsupassoonasheseesme.Ireturnhissmileandreachforwardwiththetickets.
“Youlookverynice.Willyoubelingeringagaintonight?”heasks.
“Notthistime.Iwantyoutwotohavearealchance,”Isay.“That’sprobablyhardwithmebeingdistracting.”
Bennettexhalesadisappointed-soundingoh.“Toobad.Iwashopingforafoodrunner,”hejokes,hismouthturneddownward.
“You’reonyourowntonight,”Isaywithalaugh.“WestillneedtodebriefaboutOwen.”
“Soformal.Normally,usersfigureitoutamongthemselves,butyou’reright,thisisadifferentsituation.Let’sdebrief,”Bennettsays.“What’syourverdict?”
Ireflectforaminute.“Hewasnice,butIcanseeitnow.Therequiredhoursofworkinginourfamilybusinessesmighttaketimeawayfromeachotherbecausewe’dbothbesocommitted.We’denjoyeachother’scompany,buthowlongcanthatreallylast?AsaTiger,he’sadventurousenoughtodowhathewantswhilegivingmemyfreedom,buthementionedsomethingaboutexpandingintodifferentvineyardsinvariousregionsaroundtheworld,andwhilethatsoundscool,itmightbealittletoomuchunpredictabilityforme.”Icrossmyrightfootovermyleft.“Ithinkthat’smostofit.”
Bennettstaresatme,hiseyeswidened.“Whathappenedtoallthegoodthingsyousaidacoupleofdaysago?”
Iwatchacloudfloatbyoverhead.“Ididn’tdespisehiscompany.Andhedidlaughatmyjokes—”
“Didhemakeyoulaugh?”Bennettasks.Hisquestionisoddlyspecific.
“Uh,Ican’trecallspecificexamples,”Isay.
“Sothen,itwasn’tlove?”
Ilaugh.Definitelynot.“Maybe,”Isay,stringinghimalong.“Isn’tthatwhatyouwant?”
Bennett’sjawflexes.HistensenessmakesmewanttokeeptalkingaboutOwen,purelytoseewhathe’lldo.“Ijustdidn’tthinkitwouldbethateasy,”hemutters.
“Wait,youbelieveme?”Isay,playfullythwackinghisarmwithmyhand.“Ofcourseitwasn’tlove!Firstdatesareforsparks,likewithyouandHarper.Anddatetwo,well,datetwocanlaythegroundworkforL-O-V-E.You’llseetonight.”
“Weretheresparks?WithyouandOwen?”
Iletthesilencedragontomakehimsquirm.“No,”Ifinallyadmit.“OwenandIdidn’thavetheinitialfireworksthatIliketoseeinlong-lastingcouples.”
“We’llhavetotryagainondatenumbertwo,”hesays.“Unlesswedeciderightnowtocallthewholethingoff?”
Ifoldmyarms.“Andwhywouldwedothat?”
“Ithinkwe’veestablishedbynowthatwhileyouseethezodiaconeway,Iseeitinaslightlydifferentway.Butwe’reessentiallytalkingaboutthesamething.”
“YoureallyalsothinktheChinesezodiacisalanguageforloveandguidetobetterunderstandingourselvesandrelationships?”Iask.
Bennettisquietforamoment.“It’satoolinthetoolbox.Therearemorevariablesatplaywhenitcomestolove,butIdon’tdisagreewithyourversion.”
“Ofcoursethereareothervariables,butno.Noone’scallinganythingoff,”Isay.Iwillprovethatmywayisthebestway.ThatLunarLoveisright.
Bennettdropshisshouldersforwardinanexhale.“Okaythen.ButsinceI’mhavingaseconddate,youneedtohaveaseconddate.”
Iconsiderthis.CanZodiaCupidstriketwicewithadecentmatch?Highlydoubtful.“Fine.Onemoredate.Butthat’sit.I’mabusywomanwithpodcaststorecordandfeaturestobeinterviewedfor,”Isaywithawinner’sconfidence.“I’mhavingdinnerwithPóPotomorrowbutIcandoitonSunday.”
Bennettsmiles,lookingrelieved.“Sundayitis.IwasbetweenafewchoicesforthefirstdatesoIalreadyhavesomeoneinmind.I’llseeifhe’savailableonshortnotice.”
Myphonebuzzeswithacall.“Onesecond,it’sHarper,”Isay,wigglingmyeyebrowsathim.“Shemustberunninglate.”
IstepasidetoanswerthecallasBennettlooksoncuriously.
“Harper?Hey!Areyouonyourway?”Iask.
“Olivia!I’mcaughtupatarestaurantlaunchthatIcompletelyforgotabout.Iwon’tbeabletomakeit.I’msosorry.IsBennettthere?”
“Ohno!Heis.Doyouwanttotalktohim?”Iask.
“CanyoujusttellhimIfeelawful?Ilooklikesuchaflake.Betweenyouandme,though,Idon’tknowifhe’squitewhatI’mlookingfor.He’sagreatguy,butwedidn’treallyhititoff.Sorry!Doyouhaveanyothermatcheslinedup?”
Ideflatewithdisappointment.Tonight’seventwassoperfectforBennettandHarper!“Don’tthinkanothersecondaboutit,”Isayinastrainedupbeattone.“I’llgetstartedonyournextmatch.Goodluckwithyourevent.”
“She’snotcoming,isshe?”BennettaskswhenIreturn.
Ishakemyhead.“Howmanyfunfactsdidyoutellher?”
“Actuallynone!”hesayswithgenuinesurprise.
“I’msorryforthetrouble,Bennett.”
“Wasthisyourplanallalong?”heasks,readingmyface.
“MyplanwasforyoutohaveasecondshotwithHarper,butshe’scaughtupatwork,”Isay,maintainingmyprofessionaltone.
Bennettnodsinunderstanding.“Igetit.Noproblem.”Heholdsupthetwoticketsandextendshiselbowinmydirection.“Shallwe?”
“Shallwe…what?”Iask,lookingathisarm.
“Attendtheevent,”Bennettclarifies
Inarrowmyeyesathim.“Together?”
IimagineslippingmyarmaroundhisandbeinginterlockedwithBennettasweperusebeautifulartanddrinkprobablynotinexpensivewine.EventhatsimplegesturewouldallowmetoconfirmallthethoughtsIshouldn’tbehavingabouthisarms.GetitoutofthewaysoIdon’thavetoeverthinkaboutthemagain.Aneveningdrinkingunderthestars.WithBennett.Itshouldn’tbeathrillingthought,butitis.
Bennettgivestheticketsalittlewave,shakingoffmythoughtswiththemovement.“Itwouldbeashametoletthisnightgotowaste.Idon’tknowwhatdrinkingwiththestarsislike,butIwanttofindout,”hesays.
Itrytostiflethezingofexcitementthatzipsthroughme.“ThisdatewassupposedtobeforyouandHarper.Ican’t—”
“Howaboutwedon’tcallitadatethen?”hesays.“Itcanbeameeting.We’retwodatingserviceprofessionals.Wecaneventalkaboutworkallnightlong.”
“Yourunningoutofideasandneedsomeofmine?”Iretort.
Bennettslipstheticketsintohisbackpocket.“Ifyoudon’twantto,I’mnotgoingtopushyou,”hesays.“Haveagoodnight.”
“Wait,”Iblurtout.“It’sbeenawhilesinceI’vebeenupthere.Theyhaveoneofmyfavoritepaintings.Itwouldn’tberighttoletthoseticketsgotowaste.Theycostrealmoney.”
RealmoneythatLunarLovedoesn’thaveawholelotof.Thiscanberesearch.
Bennett’scrookedsmilespreadsacrosshisface.Onceagain,heholdsouthisarmtowalkmetothetram.Thezingmorphsintomoreofazap,alltheinitialenthusiasmdrainingfrommybody.WhatamIdoing?Thisisnotagoodidea.Bennettismycompetition.Apseudo-client.
Butit’sjustonenight.Andaswe’veestablished,thisisnotadate.RatsandHorsesdonotdate.We’retwoprofessionalshavingaprofessionalmeeting.MaybeIcouldeventurnthisintoaSinglesScouting.Iletoutalongbreathtostillmyhammeringheart,andbeforeIcanmakeupanexcusetoleave,Ituckmyarmupintohis.
Atthetopofthemountain,theskylookslikeaseriesofpaleorangeandlavenderbrushstrokesstraightoutofaMonetpainting.Themoonisinitsfirstquarterphase,halfofitsglowingsurfacebeamingdownonus.
“Lookatthelegsonthisone,”Bennettsays.Hetiltshiswineglassandwatchesasmaroondropletsslidedowntheinsideofthestemware.Heinhalesjustabovetheglass,asinstructedbythesommelier.“I’mgettinghintsofoldsaddleleatherandcrushedrocks.”
“Verynice!”Isay,mirroringhim.“Tome,itsmellsmorelikefreshlyprintedpaperandthatfeelingwhenyou’resittingunderthemoonlightlookingupatthestarsthinkingabouthowsmallyouareintheworld.”
Bennettsmirksbeforesniffinghiswineagain.“I’mnotgettingthat.Wait.Thereitis.Ah,nothinglikethesmellofinsignificanceandtoner.”
Webothquietlylaughtogether,tryingnottodrawattentiontoourselves.
“Youreallyknockedthisdateoutofthemuseum,”Bennettsays,lookingpleased.“Ilearnedsomuchinthatclass.Ifdateplanningwasacompetition,you’dwin.You’regood.”
IknewBennetttheHistoricalBuffwouldlovewhatIplannedforhim.AndHarper.HimandHarper.
Ileanbackagainsttherailingandadmirethemuseum’simposingarchitecture,thewarmthandpermanenceofthestonemarkingitslong-lastingpresence.SituatedatthetopofahillintheSantaMonicaMountains,theGettyisanescapefromthecity,anisolatedretreatfromacityofmillions.Thebuildingsaresograndandstunningthatit’seasytoforgetthere’sartinside.Thevariousbuildings,fountains,andgardenscreatemoreofacampusfeelthanthatofatypicalmuseum.
“Wheredoesyourinterestinhistorycomefrom?”Iask.
“Well,”hesaysslowly,“I’vealwaysbeenfascinatedwiththepast.It’soddlycomfortingtoknowthattherearedifferentinterpretationsandperspectivesofeventsthattookplaceintime.”
IspinandfacethemountainsalongsideBennett.“Ifthingscanbeinterpretedsomanydifferentways,howdoyouknowwhattobelieve?”
“That’sthepoint.Allwecandoisactonwhatweknowinthismomentintime.”
“Thatmakesmeanxioustoknowthatanythingcanbereinventedatanypoint.”Itiltmyglassandstareintotheinkywine.
“Nothing’spermanentorguaranteed,”Bennettsayssoftly.
“Soyoulikehistorybecausethere’sroomforinterpretation?”Iclarify.
Hiseyessearchmine.“Someofthebestcreationsinhistorywerebecausepeoplewerewillingtolookatthesamethingdifferently.Soyes.Thoughgoingagainstwhatothersthinkoftenfeelsliketryingtoturnacruiseshipinapuddle.”
“You’vegotapoint,”Isay,“butthatsoundsalittlebleak.”
“Sometimesbeingbleakiseasier.”Bennettpusheshishairbackandrestshishandoverhismouth.Whenhelooksbackatme,hisfacelooksmoreseriousthanusual.“Likethispitch,forinstance.I’mgoingtobetryingtoconvincepeopleaboutmyinterpretationoftheChinesezodiac.It’snotforanothertwoweeks,butI’vebeenpreparingeveryday.Ineedmydeliverytobespot-on.”
“What,areyounervous?”Iask,intriguedbythisinformation.
Bennetthesitatesforamoment.“Honestly?Yes.There’salotridingonthis.It’snotlikeI’veneverpitchedforfundingbefore,butthisbusinessismorepersonaltome.Idon’twanttolooklikeanimposter.”
Thistakesmebysurprise.“Youdon’tcomeoffasworriedtome,”Iadmit.
Bennettgoesquietforamoment.“I’mdecentatcompartmentalizing.Iwanttoenjoythistimewithyou.”
Hetugsgentlyathissweaterneckline,drawingattentiontothebaseofhisneck.Mybreathingquickenswatchinghim
AsmuchasIdon’twanthimtoraisemoney,Ialsohateseeinghimstressed.“I’veneverpitchedtoinvestorsbefore,butIhaveathought,ifyou’dliketohearit?”
Bennettturnstofacemewitheagereyes.“I’dlovetohearwhatyouthink.”
ItentativelyplaceahandonhisshoulderasIconsidermywordscarefully.Helooksatmyhandandsmiles.“Focusonthehumanelement,notjustthenumbers.Reallysellthemonwhyyoustartedthisbusiness,”Isay.
Hislipsnarrowintoathinline.Henods,lookingasthoughhe’stryingtomakesenseofhisthoughts.“Thankyou.You’reprobablyright,ashardasthatsoundstonotfocusonthedata.I’mjustnotgreatatexpressingemotionoutwardly.Ilearnedtoshutitoffalongtimeago.Ifindcomfortinnumbers.They’reconcrete.Youcanmanipulatethemtomakethemworkforyou.Emotion,love,thosearecompletelyuncontrollable.”
“Buttheyhavethehighestpayoff,”Isay,removingmyhandquickly.
Bennettrollsthesleevesofhissweateruptohiselbows,settlingintoourconversation.IfeelmyselfstarttorelaxinawayIhaven’tinalongtime.
Bennettmotionstowardtheviewoftheocean.“Isn’tfallinLosAngelescharming?”
“Crispmorningsandsunshineallday?Sunsetslikethese?Absolutely,”Isay.Absentmindedly,Ireachuptotwistthemoononmynecklace.
“That’sbeautiful,”hesays,noticingthenecklace.
“Thanks.Itwaspasseddowntomefortakingoverthefamilybusiness,”Isay.“Andthehorseisfrommysister.”
“Issheintothezodiac,too?”
“Actuallyno.”
“Darn.Iwould’vegivenherbetaaccess.Ohwait!She’sgettingmarried,sonevermind.”
“Yeah,she’soff-limitsasaclient.Forthebothofus,”Iadd,smirking.
“How’sitbeentakingoverthefamilybusiness?”heaskscautiously.“IsitokayifIaskyouthat?”
IthinkthroughallthevariouspoliticallycorrectstatementsIcouldanswerwith.I’mexcitedfortheopportunity.Lotsofchallengesahead,butnothingIcan’thandle.
Maybeit’sthewineorthefactthatBennett’ssoeasytotalkto,ormaybeit’sthemagicofthemoonhanginginthedistance,butinsteadofsayingsomething,anything,thatmakesLunarLovelooklikeit’sdoingwell,Ijustcroak,“It’sbeenkindofrough.”
Hearingthosewordsescapefrommymouthfeelswildlyrevealing.Ilookdownatthegroundbeneathme.It’sstillintact.Theworlddidn’tend.Bennettdoesn’tevenlooksmugorhappytohearthis.Instead,helookssurprised.
“Really?Howso?”heasks,takingastepcloser.
“There’salotofpressurefrommyfamilytoturnthebusinessaround,”Isay,continuingtodivulgemorethanIprobablyshould.“Itookitoverduringachallengingtime.Sometimesitfeelslikethebusinessistoosetinitswaystoeverchange.Ormaybepeoplearejusttoofocusedonthenew.”
“Toturnthebusinessaround?”Bennettaskswithanempathetictone.
“We’regoingthroughgrowingpains,”Isay,usingPóPo’schoiceofwords.“I’msurePóPotoldyoueverythingthereistoknow,eventhoughshe’sindenialaboutit.”
“Shedidn’tsayanythingaboutneedingtosaveLunarLove,”hesays.“I’msorrythatyouhavetodealwiththat.”
“Therehavebeenchallengesforawhile,”Iconfess,maybemoretomyselfthantohim.TherewerechallengeslongbeforeBennettwasinthepicture.
Bennetttakesasipofwine.“How’dyouevengetinvolvedinyourfamily’sbusiness?Wasitsomethingthatalwaysinterestedyou?”
“Ihaven’tknownanythingelse,really.IlovewhatIdo.Ibasicallygrewupinthebusiness,yetIstilldon’tfullyfeellikeIfitintothecultureofwhatitrepresents.”
“LunarLoveismoretraditional,”Bennettsays.“Areyouconsideringmakingitmoremodern?”
“EvenifIwere,youthinkI’dtellyou?”Isaysuspiciously.“You’restillmycompetition,right?”
Bennettswirlsthebaseofhiswineglassinthecenterofhispalm.“YouknowIdon’tseeitlikethat.Iwishyouwouldn’t,either.”
Isigh.“Ilovehowtraditionalthebusinessisandwhatitrepresents.Traditiontendstobecomedilutedandreinterpretedovertime,whichisimportantsoitdoesn’tcompletelydisappear,butIdon’twantthebusinesstoloseitsoriginalcharm.Iknowthat’sadifferentwayofthinkingthanthetechworldyou’reusedto.”
“Ithinkofitasiteratinguponwhat’salreadybeendone,”Bennettsays.
“Right,traditionsweremeanttobebroken,”Isayflatly.
Bennettholdshisfreehandupindefense.“Isaidthatinoneinterview,andyou’retakingitoutofcontext.Ithinktraditionsaremeanttobebrokenwhenthey’rerigidlikerulesandruntheriskofbeinglosttohistory.Mywayofgoingaboutitisprobablybolderthanyou’reusedto.”
Itapmyfingeragainstthestemofmyglass.“Maybe.”
“Idothinkit’sincredibleyou’retryingtopreservewhatyourPóPostarted.Inthisdayandage,that’srare.”Hiseyesdartdownatmebeforeherefocusesthemonthecityviewaheadofus.“Whoinyourfamilyisinvolved?”heasks.
“Mypópoandauntiewereinvolved,asyouknow,”Isay,emphasizingmylastwords.“Mymomfollowedadifferentpath.Sodidmysister.ButIwashookedfromthestart.IpurposelywenttocollegeinLosAngelessoIcouldkeepworkinginthebusinesspart-time.IeventailoredmymajorsoIcouldbebetteratmyjob.”
“Businessdegree?Communications?”Bennettasks.
“Psychology.Iwantedtobetterunderstandhowpeopleactandthinkandhowtheyfallinlove,”Iexplain.“IcareabouttheworkIdobutImight’velostsightofwhoIaminordertokeepthefamilylegacyalive.AndifIdon’tsucceed,IthinkI’llbeprovingsomethingthat,deepdown,Ifeelaboutmyself.”
Justasquicklyasthewordsfloatoutofme,they’recarriedawayonabreezeacrossthehillside.HowlonghaveIfeltthis?I’vebeensointhethickofeverythingthatIhaven’thadtimetofullyprocessmyemotions.Sometimesit’seasiertostuffdownuncomfortablefeelingsthantodealwiththemhead-on.
Bennettnodsthoughtfully.“Youfeellikeyou’reovercompensatingsoyoudon’tfailandfeellessof…something…thanyoualreadydo.”
“Maybe?Probably.”
Hisfacerelaxesintoasoftsmile.“Vague,butIcanrelate.”
Ilookoverathim.“Youcan?”
“IfZodiaCupidfails,ordoesn’tliveuptoitspotential,it’llbeahugeblow.MorethananyotherbusinessI’vestartedbefore.Thisone’stoopersonaltome.”
Itiltmyheadinunderstanding,rememberingwhathetoldmeabouthismother.
“Withthisapp,IlearnsomethingneweverydayabouttheChinesezodiac,”hecontinues.“Aboutpeople.Aboutmyself.AndIlovethat.Eventothisday,though,Ifeellikethatlittlekidlearningabouthimselfatthelibrary.I’veneverhadtoexplaintopeoplethatI’mChinesemorethanIdonow.Ilovebeingmixedandcelebratingallofmycultures,though,evenifIoftenfeellikeIdon’tfitintoanyofthecommunities.”
“Iknowthefeeling,”Isay,crossingmyarmsovermychest.RealizationdawnsthatmaybehowIfeelisthatifLunarLovefails,myinsecuritiesaboutnotbeingAsianenoughtorunthisbusinessaretrue.MostoftheChinesezodiacresourcebooksatLunarLoveareinMandarin,alanguageIcanhardlyholdaconversationin.Intheearlydaysofthebusiness,clientsessionsusedtotakeplaceexclusivelyinChineseuntilPóPo’sEnglishimproved.Butwhat’sAsianenough?
“IfIfail,it’llconfirmthingsIthinkaboutmyself,asyousaid,”Bennettdivulges.“Likeanimposter.”
“Thesyndromeisreal,”Isay.
“Sorry,Imadethisaboutme,”Bennettsays.“Please,continue.”
Ibitemylip.“No,goon.”
Bennettscruncheshisface.“It’llbeasthoughI’mnotChineseenoughorIdon’tbelongdoingthisbecauseIdidn’tgrowuponehundredpercentimmersedintheChineseculture.Asthoughthebitsandpiecesoftheculturethatmymomdidchoosetocelebrateandteachmewon’tbesufficient.It’ssilly.”
Theemotionhitsdifferentlywhenit’ssaidoutloud.“Idon’tthinkit’ssilly.Ifit’ssomethingthatyouexperience,thatmakesitreal,”IsaywithmoreconfidencethanIfeel.
Thesunlowersinthesky,thetemperaturedroppingwithit.Ireadjustmygriponthewineglassandhugmyarmsagainstmychest,pullingmyoversized,colorful,geometricsweatertighteraroundmybody.Bennettnoticesandmovesevencloser.
Hesmiles,andforamomentit’sjustusunderthepinkandpurpleclouds.Fromthisvantagepoint,wecanseetherhythmstripofthedowntownskyline—theheartbeatofLosAngeles—theSanGabrielMountains,andthePacificOceanfloatinginthedistance.
Wefallsilent,oureyeslockedononeanother’s.Feelinghiseyesonmemakesmenervousinanexcitedsortofway.
“Let’sgoseetheIrises,”Isayabruptly.
IsetmywinedownonatableandcrossthepatiotoabuildingacrossthewayasBennettfollowscloselybehind.Insideisquieteratthishourasmuseumgoersflocktothepatiotocatchthesunset.WewanderthroughthehallsuntilwefindVincentvanGogh’sIrises
Theiconicpaintinghangsinfrontofme,andI’msweptupintheswirlingmovementoftheleaves,thevioletpetalstwistedtogether,theirfigurescarefullycapturedinvividhues.
Bennettsidlesupsoclosenexttomethatourarmstouch.Itiltmyheadtowardhimwithoutremovingmyeyesfromthepainting.
“Youcanalmostfeeltheflowersmoving,”Isay,dreamily.
“Hepaintedthisin,what…”Bennetttakesacloserlookatthemuseumlabelnexttothepainting.“1889.Sothiswasafterhehadbeenhospitalized.Ifmemoryservesmeright,theseflowersarebasedontheonesthatwereinthementalinstitution’sgarden.Hepaintednearlyonehundredandthirtypiecesduringhisstaythere.”Helooksoveratmeandquicklyadds,“It’salsonicetothinkabouthowseeingtheseflowersinthegardenmust’vehelpedhimthroughatoughtime.”
“Nicesave.That’stheemotionI’mlookingfor,”Isay.“Whatdon’tyouknowrandomfactsabout?”Ilookfromtheflowerstohisface.They’rebothquitethesight.
Hisvoiceissoftashesays,“You.”
Ifeelmyfacebecomehot.“Youknowsomethings,”Isayshyly.
“Iknowthatyouenjoyartandwine.Iknowthatyoucareaboutyourfamilyandtheirlegacy.Ialsoknowthatwhenyou’renervous,youtwistyournecklace,likeyou’redoingrightnow.”
Idropmyhandfrommyneck.
Bennett’svoicesoftensevenmore.“Iknowthatyou’recuriousandsmartashell,thatyoureyeslooklikemilkchocolateinthesunshine,thatwhenyou’renotsurewhattosay,youbiteyourbottomlip.”Hehesitatesatfirstbeforegrabbingmyhand.Idon’tpullitaway.“Ialsoknowthatmyworriesdon’tfeelsoheavywhenI’mwithyou,andthatyourlaughismynewfavoritesound.”Helooksdownatthegroundandthenbackupintomyeyes.“IalsoknowthatI’dliketokissyou.Ifthat’sallright?”
ThoughtsofusbeingincompatiblecompetewithemotionsIhaven’tfeltinalongtime.Myheadandheartbattleoneanother,elbowingtheirwaytothefrontofmymind.Theroomspinsaroundme,becomingablurofpaint.ThenIlookintoBennett’seyes,andIfeelsteady.Stable.Andallatonce,despiteeverythingIbelievein,thisiswhatIknowforcertain:Iwanttokissthisman.
“Yes,”Iwhisper.
Iwrapmyarmsaroundhisshouldersashisarmsfindtheirwayaroundmywaist.Istanduponmytoestoclosethedistancebetweenus.
Ourfacesinchcloser,mouthsparted.Istareatthegoldfleckinhiseyesuntilourlipsconnectandmyeyesfluttershut.Whenourlipsarepressedtogether,IfeelasbreezyasirisesswirlinginaVanGoghmasterpiece.Igrabafistfulofhissweaterandholdhimtight.Hislipsaresoft,justlikeIimagined.Wequicklymoveintoasteadyrhythm,ourkissdeepening.
It’sasthoughBennett’sthepainterandI’mthecanvas;everykissastrokeofthebrush,revealing,littlebylittle,theunexpectedmasterpiecethatisourembrace.Chapter15
Areyousureyoudon’twantany?”PóPosaysasshewrestlesthecorkoutofawinebottle.
“I’mallwinedoutfromlastnight.Here,letmehelpyou,”Isay,reachingforthePinotNoirshe’schosen.Ipullthecorkoutandpourthebottle’scontentsintoastemlessglass,therubyliquidsplashingupagainstthesides
“Whathappenedlastnight?”PóPoasks.
IgivePóPoasheepishsmile.“Iwasout…ataSinglesScouting,”Ilie.
“Youexpectmetobelievethathalf-assedlie?”shesaysskeptically.
Icoughoutalaughatherwordchoice.“No,Idon’t,”Iadmit.
MyphonevibrateswithatextfromNina.“Nina’snotcoming!”IinformPóPo.“Shehastodosomethingwithherdressandmenuplanningforthewedding.”
“Toobad.Isshestillwearingwhite?”PóPoasks.
“Yes,herjumpsuitisstillivory,PóPo,”Isay.“It’soff-white.”
“Aiyah!Youknowthatcoloriswhatpeopleweartofunerals.Andit’snotevenadress!”
“ButinWesternculture,itsymbolizespurity.It’straditionalforbridestowearwhiteontheirweddingday.”
PóPoshakesherheadtotheside.“Idon’tlikeit.”
“She’llbewearingredfortheweddingdinner.She’salsomakingsuretoincorporatetraditionalelements.Youmaynotlikeitnow,butIthinkyouwill!”Iexclaim,givingPóPoasternbutlovinglook.
“Fine,”shesays,givingmeafacerightback.
“Let’senjoyourselves.YouknowIliveforthesedinners.”Istartpullingdumplingingredientsfrommyparents’kitchen,relyingonmusclememorytoguidemymovements.
“I’mgladyouwerestillabletomakeit,”PóPosays.
“Iwouldn’tmissit,”Isay.AndIhaven’t.Notone.OurDumplingsandRom-DramDatesarethehighlightofmymonth.
PóPofoldsupthesleevesonherlavenderlinenloungeset.“Haveyou—”
“—givenanythoughttoAuntie’slatestmatch?No,”Iblurtout.
“Iwasgoingtoaskifyou’vefiguredoutwhatyou’rewearingtothewedding,”shesayspatiently.Shepourssoysauceovergroundporkmeat.
“Oh,sorry,”IsayasIslicescallionsandmincegarlic.
Sheshrugs,movingontoanewtopic.“Ithinkyou’llenjoywhatI’vepickedfortoday.IntheMoodforLove,directedbyWongKarWai.It’samasterpiece.Verymoody.Aslowburn.”
“Ooh,moody.That’sexactlywhatI’mcraving,”Isay,scoopingsaltoutofaramekinwithaspoon.Afterlastnight’skisswithBennett,Ihaven’tbeenabletothinkaboutanythingelse.“LAischarminginthefall,don’tyouthink?”
“Aiyah!Stop!That’ssugar,notsalt!”PóPomanagestocatchsomeofthesugarasIpouritovertheporkmixture
“Oops.”
“It’sbright,likeeveryothertimeofyearhere,butsure,Iguessyoucouldcallitcharming,”PóPosays,givingmeaweirdlook.
“Appleandpumpkinpickinginsunshine,vibrantsunsets,coolerevenings,sweaters!”Irattleoff.
Shewatchesmeclosely.“Whatwereyousayingaboutlastnight?”
“DidIsaysomething?Idon’tthinkIsaidanything,”Itellher.
“You’rered!Areyoublushing,orlying,orboth?You’refaceturnsredwhenyoulie.”
Ifanmyselfwithmyhand.“Thiskitchenishot!”
“Letmeaskyouaseriousquestion,Olivia.Doyoutakemeforafool?”
Ilaugh.“You?Afool?That’sthelastthingyouare.”
“Good.Andaccurate.Sotellmewhatitis,”shepresses.PóPostopsmixingthedumplingfillingandleansagainstthecounter.
“Areyoufeelingokay,PóPo?”Iask.“Doyouneedtotakeaseat?Icantakeover.”
“Don’tfuss!Ijustneedaquickbreak.WhenyougettobeasoldasIam,you’realwaystired.Enjoyyourbodywhileyou’reyoungandhealthy,”shesays,wavingmeoff.“Besides,youstillhaven’tperfectedthedumplingfold.Paycloseattention.”
Iwatchasshepleatsthedoughswiftly.Followingherlead,Ispoonfillingintothecenterofthewrapperandmimichermovements,foldingthedoughintoahalf-moonshape.“Whoops,toomuchfilling,”Isay,glancingupatPóPowatchingfromthestool.
“Thatone’syours,”shesays,placingaplumpdumplingontheplateinfrontofher.“Let’snotplaythisgame.Tellme.Areyouinlove?”
“Love?”Ilaugh.“Comeon,PóPo.Youcan’tbethrowingtheL-wordaroundlikethat.Ican’tbehappy?MymarketingideasforLunarLovearestartingtoshowtraction.Thatmakesme…joyful.”
PóPolaughsandwipesflouroffherhandswithadishtowel.“Verygood,butthat’snotit.Liv,I’vespentmylifearoundthoseinlove.Iknowitlikeastronomersknowthecratersofthemoon.”
Ihalfsmile.“Mymind’sjustalittle…preoccupied.”
“Goon.”PóPolooksoveratmewithanupturnedeyebrow.Shereachesforanapplepearinthefruitbowlandaparingknifefromtheknifeblock.“Couldyoupleasegetmetwobowls?”
“IthinkI’mjustalittleinovermyhead,”Isay,mywallsslowlycomingdown.Igrabtwobowlsfromthecabinetandslidethemtowardher.OnemonthinandI’vedonetheoppositeofprovingmyselfworthyoftakingoverPóPo’sbusiness.
Shefrowns.“Howso?”Withafewswiftturnsofherwrist,theskinoftheapplepearcurlsoffagainsttheknife’sbladeintospiralshavings.
“It’snothingIcan’thandle,”Isay.ShecanprobablysensehowhardI’mtrying.
“Youknowyoucantellme.You’relettingthebusinessgetbetweenus.Iknowhowyouwanttobeperceived,especiallybyme,butIdon’tcareaboutbusinessownerOlivia.RightnowIcareaboutmygranddaughterOlivia.”
PóPocutstheskinnedapplepearintosmallerslices,arrangingthemintoabowl.Shepushesittowardme.PóPo’scutfruitisalwaysatreat,calmingmeinstressfultimes.Ilovewatchingherefficientlyandswiftlyskinapplesandpears,scoreandcubejuicymangoes,andcutthroughmelonswithease.Fruitsalwaystastesweeterwhentheycomefromher.
Frozeninplace,Istareattheshinyfruit.OncePóPoknowsthetruth,Ifearthatshe’llregreteverhavingmademeowner.Thatshe’llbesofrustratedthatshe’llrevokemystatusandsendmeonmyway.I’llhavehumiliatedmyselfand,worstofall,beadisappointmentandbringshameuponthefamilyname.Ibiteintoaslice,crunchingthefruitbetweenmyteethslowly.“Thankyou,”Isay,trailingoff.
PóPomustsensemyhesitationbecausesheholdsherpinkyouttowardme.Slowly,Ibringmypinkyuptohers,andwepressourthumbstogether.
“I…madeabet,”Isay,staringdownattheplateofdumplings.“IbetthatIcouldmakeBennett,youknowtheone,fallinlove.IfIcan,whichIwill,I’llgetgreatpressforLunarLove.Andtennewclientspaidinfull,whichwouldbehugeforus.”
PóPoslowlysipsherwine.“YouthinkyoucanmakeBennettfallinlove?”shesays,amused.
“IknowIcan,”Isay.Weresumeourdumplingpleating.“DoyounotthinkIcan?”
“He’saverydeterminedman.Andhe’sfocusedonhisbusiness,”shesays.
Myhandsstop.“PóPo,whatdoyouknow?”
PóPoonlymovesfaster,herfingersfilling,folding,filling,folding.“Iknownothing.”
Igiveheralook.
Shesighs.“DuringthetimesImetwithhim,Inoticedhedoesn’tliketogettooattached.Hecanbeprettyunemotional.”
“Well,yeah,thisIknow,”Isay,conflicted.Thatkisslastnightwasn’tunemotional.
“Fromeverythinghe’stoldmeabouthismother,”PóPosays,“well,Isuspecthedoesn’twanttofallinlovewithsomeoneonlytoloseher.Idon’tthinkhecanbeartolosesomeoneelseimportanttohim.Icouldbewrong.Thisisjustoneold,wisewoman’stakeonit.”
“You’reprobablyrightthen,”Isay,distracted.Herwordsaddweighttoourwager.IthinkthroughBennettandHarper’scompatibletraits.Theywereagoodmatch,butIguessitdidn’tclickforeitherofthem.AndthelastthingIwantisforhimtobeheartbrokenagain,especiallybecauseoftheHeadMatchmakeratLunarLove.Heartbreakistheworst-casescenarioforanyofmymatches.“Imatchedhimwithsomeonewhowasgreat.I’msureIcanfindsomeoneelse.”
ThethoughtofanotherpersonbeingwithBennettisdiscomforting.Butkissornokiss,anddespiteblurredlines,thebetisstilltechnicallyon,andIhavetoseethatthrough.ForLunarLove’ssake.
IcanfeelPóPoanalyzingmyexpression.“Isee,”shefinallysays.
Ipouroilintoapanandturntheheatonthestoveonhigh.“Whatdoyousee?”
“Youlikehim.”
“Who?Bennett?”Ilaughawkwardly.
“No,themailman,”shedeadpans.“Yes,Bennett.”
“No.Ican’tlikehim.He’smaybenotashorribleasImadehimouttobewhenIfirstlearnedabouthim,buthe’sstillmyrival.”
NowPóPolaughs.“Rival?Whatisthis,highschoolfootball?”
“It’snotfunny!Hisapplaunchesinlessthanfourmonths.Youwon’tbelaughingwhenLunarLove’sboardingupitsdoors.”
PóPolaughsharderassherisesfromherstool.“LunarLovehasbeeninbusinessforoverhalfacentury,”shesays,wavingherhandsintheair.“Youdon’tthinkwefacedanycompetitioninourdays?Ourrootsarestrong.We’vesurvivedmanycompetitors.You’lldothesame.Iknowyoucanhandlethepressure.”Shetakestheplateofdumplingsandarrangesahandfulofthemontothehotoiledpan.
“Exactly.Thisismehandlingit.”
“AfterBennettcametometolearnabouthisparents,hewantedtopairupandworktogether,”PóPosayscasually.
Ismushhardeneddoughbetweenmyfingers.“No…”
“Youknowmystanceontrendsandtechnology.AuntieandIturnedhimdown,sohebranchedoutonhisown.”
“Youknewaheadoftimethathewasgoingtostealyourbusinessconcept?”
“Ididn’tinventChinesezodiacmatchmaking,Liv,”PóPosays.
“Iknow,butstill,”Isay.
PóPoneatlyfoldsakitchentowelandplacesitnexttothestove.“Imayhavetoldhimaboutyou,buthewastheonewhosaidnotomyideatomatchmakeyoutwo.”
“Youtriedtomatchmakehim?Withme?”Iburymyfaceinmyhands.
“AsIsaid,hetoldmeno.”
“Evenbetter,”Igroan.“Hewasrepulsedbyme.”
“Quitetheopposite,”shestates.“Hedidn’twanttoleadyouon,iswhatIthinkhesaid.Hewaspreoccupiedwithhisbusinessanddidn’twanttogetinthewayofyours.He’sagoodguy.Infact,youtoldmeno,too.”
“When?Hemust’vegottenlostamongallthemenyoutrytomatchmewith,”Isay.
PóPoliftshereyebrows.“Youneverlisten.”
Idustflouroffmyhands,thewhitepowderfloatingdownontothecounter.“That’sforthebest.We’rebothprofessionals,”Isay.Asprofessionalasmakingoutinamuseumgets.Myheartpitter-pattersatthethoughtofpotentiallyseeingBennettagaintomorrowformyseconddate.Ihopehe’llbethere.
“AsIsaidbefore,it’sokayifyoulikehim,”PóPosays,notdroppingherpreviousstatement.Hereyesmaketheslightestofmovementsasshelooksintomine.Ican’ttellifshe’shappyorifthisisthetipofasoul-crushingicebergofdisappointment.“Sodoyou?”
“It’snotlikeitmatters.We’reincompatible.”
PóPonarrowshereyesatme.“Youdidn’tanswermyquestion.Whenyouthinkaboutthisman,howdoyoufeel?”
“Atfirst,Iwantedtohatehim.Forobviousreasons.But…he’sactuallyprettygreat.”
PóPoaddswatertothepanandcoversit,thesteambillowingandenvelopingthedumplingsintheheat.“Buthowdoyoufeel?”sherepeats.
Iwatchwaterdropletscollectundertheglasslidanddropbackintothepan.“LikeIdon’twanthimtofallinlovewithanyoneelse.”Therealizationislikeapunchtomystomach.
“Okay,”PóPosays.“You’reincompatible,yetyou’vegottenthisfar.”
Ilaughhumorlessly.“Hardly.Icanseeitnow—”
“—Whydoyoudothat?”sheasks.
Ilookather,mymouthhangingopen.“Dowhat?”
“That‘Icanseeitnow’nonsense.Eversinceyouandthatincompatibleex-boyfriendofyoursbrokeup,you’veusedthatlinefollowedbyabunchofnegativestogetoutofeverhavingtodateanyone.Iknowit’syourcopingmechanism,especiallyafterthatincompatiblematchwithyourfriend.YoudoitallthetimewithAuntieandhermatches.Youdiditwithmineeverytime.”
“Idon’tdothat,”Isaydefensivelyoverthesizzlingdumplings.
“Youmightlietothismanabouthowyoufeel,andyoumightlietome,butdon’tlietoyourself.”Shenarrowshereyesatme.“You’reamatchmaker,notapsychic.Where’sthefunineverythingandeveryonebeingpredictable?Where’sthemagicinthat?Youhavenocluewhat’sgoingtohappenwiththecouplesyoumatch.You’renotresponsibleforeveryelementoftheirrelationships,”shesayswithvigor.
“Ican’tallofasuddenchangethewayIthink,”Iexplain.
“Butyoucantry.Andifthatdoesn’twork,thenjusttryfeeling.”
PóPo’swordslingerintheair.
“Ican’trememberthelasttimeIletmyselfdothat,”Iconcede,rememberingwhatItoldBennettatthedrive-in.
PóPograbsformyhandandgivesitasqueeze.“Thenmaybenowisagoodtimetostart.”
“BennettsaidsomethingtomeabouthowI’llmissoutongoodpeopleifIbelievecompatibilityistheoneandonlywaytolove,”Irecall.
“Themanhasapoint,”shesaysresolutely.
“Whydoyousoundlikeyou’retryingtoconvincemeofsomething?”Iask.“Areyoutellingmethatyouarenotonlysupportinganincompatiblerelationship,butareactivelyencouragingit?There’snoway.”
PóPotapsmyhandandthenletsitgo.
Notfinishedwithmythought,Igraspforexamples.“WhataboutwithUncleRupert?WhenhemarriedAuntVivienne,weren’tyoumad?”
“Atthetime,itwasasurprise,”sheexplains.“Itwasalwaysinoneear,outtheotherwiththatboy.Buthelovesher.WhatcouldIdo?”
IstareatPóPoindisbelief.“Whatcouldyoudo?Whatyou’vedonetoeveryotherclientwhocameinwantingtotestoutincompatibility.Tellthemnoandfindthemsomeonecompatible.”
Herfaceremainsneutral.It’sasthoughtherolesarereversed.
“Idon’tunderstand,”Iadd.“YouandGōngGongwerecompatible,youstartedabusinessaroundcompatibility,MomandDadarecompatible,allyourmatcheshavebeencompatible.Well,mostly.Yourentirelifeandcareerarebuiltoncompatibility.”Igrabtwoplatesfromthecupboard.
“Youdon’thavetobecompatiblewithsomeoneinordertolovethem,Olivia.Thereissuchathingasattractionthatnotevenachartoralgorithmcanexplain.It’sanindescribablescience.”PóPogivesmeasmallsmile.“I’llsaythis.EveryoneisdifferentandmayhavevaryingviewpointsoftheChinesezodiac,whethertheyuseitassomethingbiggertobelievein,aguideforcompatiblepartnership,ortobetterunderstandthemselves.Takethemoon,forinstance.Farmersrelyonthemoonintimesofharvest,seacreaturessynchronizetheirbiologicalclockswiththemoon’slightandphases,andsometimesthemoonisusedasamysticalbackdropforspookynighttimecampfirestories.”
“Themoonrepresentssomethingdifferentforeveryone,”Iagree.“Ithasmoreofanimpactthanwegiveitcreditfor.”
“True.When’sthelasttimeyouheardsomeoneask,‘Wow!Didyouseethesuntoday?’It’salways‘Wow!Didyouseethemoonlastnight?’Forgoodreason,too,”PóPosays.Shepeeksthroughthepotlidtocheckonourdinner.“Speakingof,keepaneyeoutforthemoonnextweekend.It’sararebluemoon.Twofullmoonsinonemonth!”
“Thesunisonlyprettywhenit’srisingorsetting,butthemoonisalwaysbeautiful.It’sbold,bright,mysterious,elusive.Weonlyseeitinglimpses,catchingithereandtherefromluckyangles.”
“Ah,youaremygranddaughter,”PóPosays,nodding.“Remember,Liv,ourgreatestqualitiescanalsobeourmostinhibiting.Youaresimilartomeinthatway.Ourstubbornnessprevails.”
“BeingpersistentisoneofthetraitsI’mmostproudof,”Ideclare.
PóPouseschopstickstomovethecookeddumplingsfromthepantoourplates.“Mystubbornnesshasservedmewellovertheyears.WhenIwasbuyingthebuildingLunarLoveisinnow,thepreviousownerwantedtosellittomefordoublewhatitwasworth.HethoughtIdidn’tknowbetter.Imadehimmyoffer,theninmybrokenEnglishItoldhimtotakeitorleaveit.Twodayslater,hecalledandaccepted.”
“Youknewyourworth,”Isay,scoopingmoundsofricenexttothedumplings.
PóPosighs.“Iknewhowtobluff.Ihadaweektogetthemoneytogether.IhadliedandtoldtheownerIhadthemoneyreadytogo,butthatmoneywasbeyondmywildestdreams.Luckily,ImadesomekindfriendslikeMaeandDalewhohelpedkeepmyheadabovewater.Anythingandeverythinghelped.Don’tmisunderstand,beingstubbornhashelpedgetmewhereIam.IwasdeterminedtoimprovemyEnglish,putmychildrenthroughcollege,andmakeanewlifeafterGōngGongpassed.”PóPoquicklyinhales.“ButperhapsI’vebeentoostubborninsomecases.”
“Youdidn’twantLunarLovetofail,”Isay.
“Andneitherdoyou.”PóPorestsherhandonmyforearm.“Butdon’tletyourstubbornnessgetinyourownway.”
IttakesafewsecondstoprocesswhatI’mhearing.
“ThelastthingIwanttodoisdisappointyou,”Isay.
“Whatwouldbedisappointingisifyoudon’ttakeachancetotrytomakeLunarLoveyourown.Ifyoudon’tputyourselfoutthere,evenwhenitmeanshumiliatingyourself.Don’tgetinthewayofyourownfuture,”PóPoinstructs.“Nowlet’seat!Ourfoodisgettingcold.”
WesettleontothecouchinthelivingroomandhitPlayonthemovie.Inatoast,wetapourdumplingstogetherwithourchopsticks.
I’mfinishingupmythirddumplingwhenamessagefromBennettlightsupmyphonescreen.PóPoisenthralledwiththemovie,hardlynoticingthatI’musingtechnologyintheMovie-Screen-OnlyZone.
Ihadagreattimewithyouyesterday,hewrites.
Ibalancemyplateonmylap.Metoo,Irespond.WhatelsedoIsay?DoImentionourkiss?DoIaskaboutthedate?Therearenomanualsforwhattodowhenyourbusinesscompetitorturnsintoyourpseudo-clientandthenturnsintosomeoneyoukiss.
Anothertextfromhimcomesthrough.Soyourdatetomorrow…
Icraftmyresponse:Whataboutit…
It’stomorrow…hereplies.
Right…Itext.
WhatfeelslikeanunbearablestretchoftimepassesbeforeBennettrespondsagain.
Heseemslikeagreatguyandeverythingispaidfor…Bennettwrites.
Arewe…Istarttowriteatthesametimehismessagecomesthrough.Iwanttoknoweverythinghe’sthinkingaboutwhathappenedbetweenuslastnight.Afterafewseconds,Ideletethemessage.IguessIdooweyouasecondandfinaldate.Areyougoingtobethere?
Bennettrespondsfasterthistime.Doyouwantmetobethere?
Idon’twantyoutonotbethere,Ireply.
IwatchthreedotsbounceonmyscreenasBennetttypes.Iholdmybreath.
ThenI’llbethere,hemessages.
IgrinwhenIreadhisresponse.
“Areyouinthemoodforlove,PóPo?”Iask,givingheralightnudgewithmyshoulder.
Asthemovieplaysonthescreen,PóPopatsmyhandandsmiles.“Always,”shewhispers.“Ihopeyouare,too.It’sabouttime.”Chapter16
IsmelltheoceanbeforeIseeit.Thecloudlessskyisastunningceruleanblue,butthegorgeousdaydoesn’tquellmynervesabouthowcloseIamtothewater.
ImiraculouslymanagetofindparkingandwalktherestofthewaytotheaddressBennettprovidedinhisvaguetextmessage.HisinstructionsweretobringasweaterandsunglassesandtomeethiminFisherman’sVillageinMarinadelRey.
Ilookupfromthedirectionsonmyphonetogaugemysurroundings.Dozensofgleamingwhitesailboatsandpowerboatsofallsizesaredocked,bobbingupanddowninthetealwater.
You’restillonland,Olivia.Breathe.
MyheartpoundsfasterinanticipationofseeingBennettagain,awelcomedistractionfrommywobblyknees.Withmycream-coloredsweaterslungovermyarm,IfindBennettstandingnexttoakioskholdingabag.Todayhe’swearingacornflowerblueteethatlookssoftfromyearsofwearandkhakishorts.Headjustshislightbluebaseballcapafewtimesinawaythatalmostlookslikehe’sfightingoffnerves.IshedoubtinghisZodiaCupidmatchforme?
“Hi,”Icallout,addingasmallwave
Bennettsmilesdeeplywhenheseesme.“Hey!”
Assoonasoureyesmeet,Ifeelinstantlyatease.Iforcemyselftoavoidlookingattheareaofhisfacebeneathhisnose.Ifhesomuchaslickshislips,I’magoner.AfterFridaynight,myunsteadykneeswouldn’tbeabletohandleit.It’sjustmyluckwhenBennettcrossesintomyspacetogivemeakissonthecheek.Helingers,thesidesofourfacespressedtogether.WhenIblink,myeyelashesgrazehisuppercheek,sendingajoltofheatthroughme.
“So,whoamImeetingtoday?”Iaskdizzily,lookingaroundforsomeonewholooksliketheymightbegoingonafirstdate.“Andshouldn’tyoubehidingbehindabuoyorsomething?Isthisweird?”Anawkwardstreamoflaughtercomesout.
Bennettlaughs.“Probably.Butwe’rehere,soI’llgogethim.Areyougood?Ithinkyou’rereallygoingtolikehim.”
“Yeah.Let’sseewhoyoufoundthistime,”Imumble.
Bennettroundsthecornerofthepaystation.Afewsecondslater,hejumpsoutfrombehindit.
“Ta-da!”heshouts.
Isnapmyheadbacktowardhim.“Ta-dawhat?”
“Yourdate’swithme!Imatchedyouwithsomeonecompatiblelasttime,yetthatwasn’tgoodenough.Nowit’stimetotryitmyway,”Bennettsaysconfidently.
“Thisisatotalviolationoftherules,”Isay,holdingbackagrin.
“Weagreedtogoondateswithpeoplewematchwith,andwebothfoundeachothercompatiblepeople.WedidmatchonZodiaCupid,afterall,didwenot?”
“Thatwasadifferentprofile!”Iprotestplayfully.“AndthatwaswithsomeonenamedB.O.B.!YouandIhavebeenonadate,Mr.Mooncake-Filling-On-Your-T-Shirt.Webothknowhowthatturnedout.”
“Becauseyouweregrillingmetheentiretime.”Bennettsmiles.“Westillmatched.I’myourdate.Nomorestalling.”Heliftsabagofunbleachedflourfromhisbag.“Thisisforyou.Icouldn’tfindpeoniesandfiguredthiswasthenextbestthing.”
I’mamusedbyhissweetgesture.“Fine.You’remydate.”Myheartswellstraitorously.
BeforeIcangrabhisoffering,hepullsthebagback.“Actually,no.I’llhangontothisfornowsoyoudon’thavetolugitaround.Followme.”Heleadsmearoundthekioskanddownadock.
“Shouldwebeoverhere?”Iask,lookingatthesignscondemningtrespassing
Bennettslowshisstepsandgesturestowardasmallpowerboatrockingbackandforthinthewaves.“IknowHorsesareadventuroussoIwantedtoplansomethingfunforyou,”hesays,beaming.“We’rehavingapicnicontheboat!Oh,good,youbroughtasweater.Imayhaveunderestimatedthetemperaturetoday,butitshouldbecooleronthewater.”
Igripmysweatertighter.“We’reeatingonaboat.Like,docked,right?”
Bennettjumpsintotheboatfirst,placingtheflourontheseat.“Morelikeonthewater.Ioptedfortheseventeen-footersothatwe’llbemorecomfortableforourlunch.Thewatershouldn’tbetoochoppyrightnow.”
Ifeelthebloodrushoutofmyface.Iplacemyhandinhis,graspingitalittletootightlyasIsteponefootontowhat’sprettymuchjustafloatingtub.Whenourfingerstouch,thesamethrillrunsthroughmethatIfeltattheGetty.Theboatwobbles,andIletoutaloudshriek.
“Areyouokay?”Bennettasks,alarmed.Ibackupfromtheboat,keepingmyfeetfirmlyplantedonthedock.Hissmiledrops.“DidImessup?”
Istraightenmyshoulders.“I’m…fine.”
“Idon’twanttobepresumptuous,but…areyouscaredoftheocean?”BennettlooksnervousthatIactuallymightbe.
“Werethosetheactionsofascaredperson?”Iaskoverconfidently.“Okay,Imightbealittlebitscaredofit.”
IseeBennett’seyespopbehindhissunglasses.“Saynomore,we’lldosomethingelse,”hesays,startingtoclimboutoftheboat.
“No,no!I’llbeokay.Youplannedapicnicandrentedaboat.I’llfeelbadifIruinyourplans,”Isay,holdingmyhandsuptostophim.“Honestly.”
Bennettlooksunsure.“Okay.You’llletmeknowifyoufeellikeit’stoomuch?SaythewordandI’llturnthisshiprightbackaround.”
Ilaugh.“Sure.”
Bennettwhipsouthisphoneandstartstappingonthescreen.“Horsestendtobeadventurous,butImayhaveinterpretedthetermadventuroustooloosely.Letmeseehere,”hesays,staringathisdevice.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Iask,lookingaroundattheothertouristsonthedock.“Areyoureadinganarticlerightnow?”
“I’mtryingtoseewhatothertraitsImayhavemissed,”hesays,movinghisfingerupthescreen.“Itotallymissedthemark.”
“What?No,”Isay,somewhatpleasedtobecontinuouslyprovedright.“Noteveryanimalsignembodieseverysingleoneoftheirtraits.Oriftheydoidentifywithatrait,ittakesgettingtoknowsomeonetotrulyunderstandwhatthatmeanstoeachspecificperson.Sorrytosay,butyou’regoingtohavetogettoknowme.”
“Iwouldlovethat,”hesaysbeforescrunchinghisforehead.“I’llneedtothinkthroughhowtohandlethatontheappbetter.See?I’mlearningeveryday.”
“Don’tworryaboutit.ButifIdon’twalkontosolidgroundorgetintheboat,mylegswon’tbeabletosupportmeformuchlonger.”
Bennettspringsintoaction.“Right.Sorry.Let’strythisagain.”
Hesteadieshimselfintheboatandholdsbotharmsouttowardme.Iplacemyhandsonhisshoulders,steppingslowlyintotheboat.OurbodiesareascloseastheywereattheGetty,sendingmyminddownadangerouspath.
“Therewego,”hesays,watchingmeclosely.
Bennettpullsoutwhatlookslikealifevestforababyoutfromunderoneoftheseats.
“Thanks,”Imumble,distractedlyreachingforthevest.
“Thisisn’tforyou,”hesays.Hestrapsthebabylifevestaroundthesackofflour.
Ilaughoutloudattheabsurdityandfeelslightlymorerelaxed.
“Thisone’sforyou,”Bennettsays,handingmeaneonyellowlifevest.
Ispeedilytightenthelifevestaroundmybodyandcarefullywobbleovertotheseats.IplantmyselfontothebenchinthefrontoftheboatsoIhaveclearvisibility.
“Ready?”heasks.Bennettstartsuptheboat,theengineroaringtolifeandsettlingintoarumblingpurr.“Letmeknowatanypointifyouwanttoturnback.”
“Sofarsogood,”Isay,focusingmyeyesonthewavesinfrontofus.IlooktoseehowfarI’dhavetojumpfromtheboattothedock.Inmydreams,Icouldprobablysuccessfullystickafive-footlanding,butbeforeIcanmakethisareality,we’retenfeetawayfromthedock.
Idon’tsayanythingwhileBennettnavigatesusoutofthemarinaforfearofhimlosingfocusandtheboatcapsizing.
MybodyremainstightandcurledasIfocusonmybreathing.Oncethere’senoughfreshairinmylungs,Iattempttomakesmalltalk.
“Whydidn’tyoustartZodiaCupidoverhere?”Iask,gesturingtowardthebeach.“I’dhavepeggedyouasaSiliconBeachguy.”
“Waytooexpensive,”hesays,casuallyholdingthesteeringwheelinonehand.“Iwon’tdenythatbeingabletowalktothebeachforlunchbreakswouldbeahugeperk,butthenIneverwouldhavemetyou.”
Ismiletomyself.“Areyouabigboater?”
“NotasmuchasI’dlike.Mydadlovesfishing,soIspentalotoftimeonthewaterwithhimasakid.”
Awaverollstowardus,rockingtheboatfromsidetoside.Iquicklygrabfortherailing.Theflourbabybouncesintheseatandthengoesoverboard.Wewatchasitbobsupanddowninthechoppywaves.Bennettlooksoverthesideoftheboatandlaughs.
“Don’tlookatme!I’mnotgoinginthere,”Isay.
Bennettmaneuverstheboatclosertotheflour.Hereachesoutforit,liftingthebagoutoftheoceanbythelifeveststraps.
“LastIchecked,fishdon’teatpaperorflour,”hesays.“Youwanttosteer?It’slikedrivingacar,butinsteadofasphalttheroadsaremadeofwater.”
“Youcan’tdrownintheroads,”Imurmur.Ishakilywaddleovertothemiddleoftheboatandpositionmyselfbetweenhimandthehelm.Itightlygripthesun-warmedsilverwheel.“Look,I’msteering!”
Bennettshiftsbehindme.“You’redoinggreat!”
Aheadofus,alargeboatanglesinourdirection.
“WhatdoIdo?”Iscream,rotatingthewheelfrantically.
“Juststaythecourse,captain,”hesays,wrappinghishandsovermineonthewheel.“They’llmove.”
Theotherboatnavigatesawayfromus.
“See?Trustme,”hewhispersintomyear.Ishiverwhenhisbreathmeetsthesideofmyneck.
Along,deepbreathhelpscalmmeaftermyslightoverreaction.Hishandsarestillcoveringmineaswesteertheboattoourownpatchofopenseatofreefloat.WhenBennettremoveshishandsfrommine,myfingersimmediatelyfeelcold.
“Hungry?”Bennettreachesintothetotebag.
“Very,”Iadmit,slowlywalkingtothefrontoftheboat.
Bennettfollowscloselybehind,keepingonehandundermyarmtohelpstabilizeme.“IwantedtomakeyoumyfamouscacioepepebutthoughtItaliansubsandwicheswereamorepracticalchoice.”
“Ilovecacioepepe.Fewbutqualityingredients.Creamy,spicy,cheesy.It’s—”
“—truelove,Iremember,”Bennettsays.
Bennettrevealsacontainerwithtwolargesandwiches.Heholdsitouttoletmechoosefromthetwooptions.
“Oh,right.Ofcourse.Myoriginalprofile.”Ipickuponeofthesandwichesandstudyitscontents.Betweenthevinegar-and-oil-drizzledslicedloavesaretomatoes,lettuce,thinlyslicedonions,herbs,salami,ham,andavarietyofcheeses.Mymouthbeginstosalivateathowfreshtheingredientssmell.“Theselookpromising.ShouldIexpectanyoddflavorpairingsinhere?”
Bennettlaughsandhandsmeaplaidpapernapkin.“Notthistime.Iwentmoretraditionalforthislunch.”
“Interesting,”Isay,curiouswhathisversionoftraditionaltasteslike.Isinkmyteethintothesandwich.“Yum.Mycomplimentstothechef.”
Bennettliftshissandwichintheair.“Great,I’llletElvisknow!”Hislaughislostinthewaves,butseeinghislit-upfaceisallittakestomakemyheartflutter.Hepreparestherestofourmealofchips,precutwatermelonslices,andbubblywater.
Agustofwindsendsmyhairflyingintomyface.Bennettliftshishandupnexttomycheekandpauses.“Doyoumind?”
Ishakemyhead.Hegentlypushesastrandofhairbackbehindmyearbeforepullingoffhisbaseballcapandofferingittome.
Ireluctantlyaccept,wigglinghishatovermyhead,theinsideofthecapstillwarm.“Thanks,”Isaysoftly.
Bennetttakesasipofbubblywater,smilingatmewithhiseyes.“Whatisitabouttheoceanthatscaresyou?”
Ipopachipintomymouthandadjustmygripontherailing.“Whenyou’reintheocean,youhavenoideawhat’sswimmingbeneathyou.”Acertainparasitecomestomind.“Rightnowtherecouldbeatwelve-footeelbeneathus,andwewouldneverknow.AndIusedtothinksharkssomehowhadaccesstopools—youknow,throughthedrains—soyoucanimaginehowwildmyimaginationgoeswhenitcomestotheocean.Also,drowningandriptides.”
“Allcompletelyvalidreasons.”Bennett’sfaceremainsunchanged,unjudgmental.“Iusedtobescaredofthewater,too,”hecontinueswhenIdon’trespond.“Iwasatabirthdaypoolpartywherewehadtotakeaswimtesttoparticipate.Guesswhodidn’tpass?”Hepointsafingerathimself.“Iwasterrifiedofnotbeingabletobreatheunderwater,soIhadatoughtimelearninghowtoswim.Iprettymuchflailedaroundforfiveminutesinfrontofallmyfriends.Itwassoembarrassingthatittookacoupleofyearsbeforemymomcouldpersuademetoswimagain.”
“Howdidsheconvinceyou?”Iask.
“Shesurprisedmewithwaterwingarmfloatiesthathadsharkfinsattachedtothesides,”hesays,motioningtowardhisarms.“ShesaidthatwhenIworethem,itmeantshe’dberighttherebesideme.AndthatwhenIdidthebreaststroke,itwouldlooklikeIwasswimmingwithsharks.Shemadeitsoundreallybadass.Mindyou,Iwasfive.IttooksometimebutIeventuallylearnedhowtoswimonmyown.”
“Yourmomsoundedlikeasmartwoman.”
Bennett’ssmilevanishesashelooksoutattheocean.“Thesmartest,”hesaysquietly.
Ireachforhishandandgiveitalightsqueeze.“Maybeweovercomeourfearofourbusinessesfailingbylearninghowtoswim.Metaphorically,ofcourse.”
Hissmilereappears,dimplesandall.“We’lljusthavetofindadult-sizedsharkfinfloaties.Youknow,swimmingwiththesharksisn’tterriblyfarofffromhowitfeelstorunabusiness.Becauseoftheirolfactoryorgans,sharkshaveacutesensesofsmellandcandetectlowconcentrationsofodorsthathelpthemidentifypreyorpotentialmates.They’reincrediblyawareoftheirenvironmentandareimpressivelyintunewithwhat’saroundthemandwhattheyneedtodotosurvive.”
“Sharkscouldalsobebelowusrightnow.Trustnothing,”Isayjokingly.Therushofanoldmemoryswellsinme.“Iwasalsobrokenupwithonadockonce.”
“Thethoughtthatanyonecouldleaveyoublowsmymind,”hesaysquietly.“Washesomeoneyouwereseriousabout?”
Iplaywithathreadonthesleeveofmysweater.“IthoughtIwas.Hewasactuallyincompatiblewithme.”
“Really?”Bennettasksslowlyandinasurprisedtone.
“HewasaSnake.”
Bennettexhalesandleansbackagainsttherailing.Hiseyesflickerouttowardthehorizonandthenbacktome.“Whathappened?”
“Hewasjealousandpossessive,nevertrustingmewhenIhadmaleclientstomatch.HebelittledmyworkandalwayssaidhowheneverunderstoodwhyIdowhatIdo,”Isay,tryingtopiecetogetherfragmentedmemories.“He’dalwaysremindmethatwewereincompatibleandquestionedwhyIwasobsessedwithmatchingcompatiblepeople.Ofcourseatthetime,IthoughtIlovedhimandourrelationship.Soenamored,infact,thatIdraggedmyfriendintoanincompatiblerelationship,too.”
“Draggeddoesn’tseemliketherightword,”Bennettsays,lightlysqueezingthealuminumcanofbubblywater.
“No,”Iadmit,“wewerebothexcitedaboutthematchatfirst.IreallythoughtIwashappy,andthatshewouldbe,too.Ineverwantedtohurther.”
“Ofcoursenot,”Bennettsays,bendinghiskneeanddrapinghisforearmoverit,leaningincloserasthoughhedoesn’twanttomissasinglewordIsay.
“I’mtheonewhotaughtmyexaboutthedifferenttraits,whichofcoursehelaughedaboutatfirst,”Icontinue.“ThenhegotabigjobopportunityinNewYorkandexpectedmetogowithhim.ButIstayedhere.Wetriedlongdistancebecausehedidn’twanttogiveusup.Hesaidhe’dbeback.”
“Didhecomeback?”Bennettasks.
Ishakemyhead.“TurnsouthisexfromcollegewaslivinginNewYork,too.”
“Sohebrokeupwithyoutobewithhisex-girlfriend?”
“Well,notexactly,”Isay,trailingoff.“ApparentlyhewasdatingherlongdistancewhilehewaslivinghereinCalifornia.HemovedtoNewYorktobewithher,turningmeintothelong-distancegirl.WhenIfoundoutandwebrokeup,hehadthenervetosaythatitwasbecausetheyweremorecompatible.”ThatwasthelasttimeI’lleverbeapawninsomeone’sgame.
“That’sshitty,”Bennettsays.“Hesoundslikeapieceofworkwhodidn’trealizehehadsomethinggreatrightinfrontofhim.”
“Iknewbetter.”Iadjustthebaseballcap.“I’veworkedwithalotofpeoplewhohavebeenscornedbylove.Andit’snotlikeI’veneverbeenthroughabreakupbefore.ButIlethimmanipulateme.Thesignswerethere.Histraitswereobvioustheentiretime.IletmyselfgetsosweptawaythatIonlysawhispositivetraits.”
“Andnowyouonlyseetheincompatibletraitsinpeople,”hesays,pausingamomentbeforeadding,“Noteveryoneishim.Haveyoueverconsideredthatmaybeyourexwasn’tpossessivebecausehe’saSnakebutbecausehewasjustanasshole?”
Alaughsailsoutofme.“Probably.Definitely.”Ithinkforamomentonthis,soakinginthesilence.“Losingmyfriendwasworsethanlosingmyex,”Isay.“Afterallofthathappened,Iactuallytooksixmonthsofffrommatchmaking.Iquestionedeverythingaboutmyself,theChinesezodiac,andtheconceptofrelationships.Itooksomeme-time,andwhenIcamebacktoLA,myfriendwasgone.Nowheretobefound.”
“Sheleftwithoutsayinganything?”heasks.
“Yeah.Sheneverwantedtotalktomeagain.”
“Oh,soshetoldyouthat.”
“Well,no.ButheractionstoldmeeverythingIneededtoknow.”
“Isee,”Bennettsays,lookinglikehe’sgatheringhisthoughts.“Whenmymotherdied,Ithoughtmyfatherhatedherbecauseheneverwantedtotalkabouther.”Hebendsthesilvertabbackandforthonthecanuntilitcomesloose.“WhatIrealizedisthatheneverwantedtotalkaboutherbecausehelovedhersomuchithurttobringherup.Ouractionsdon’talwaysrevealourtrueintentions.”
“You’reprobablyright.”Ifiddlewiththebuckleonmylifevest.
“Youknowit’snevertoolate,”hesayskindly.
“We’llsee,”Isaywithashrug.
Hereachesforhisbagandpullsoutaplasticcontainerofcutstrawberries.“WhatbroughtyoubacktoLunarLove?”heasks,offeringmethetuboffruitandafork.
Ipiercemyforkintoasliced-upstrawberry.“Imissedittoomuch.Thezodiacisinmyveins.ButIvowedtoneverletsomethinglikethathappenagain.Formyselformyclients.”EvenasIsaythewords,Ifeelmyresolveslipping.
Withhisfreehand,Bennettgrabsmineandletsourintertwinedfingersrestonhisthigh.“Youthinkyou’llknowexactlyhowthingswillturnoutbecauseofpeople’spersonalities?”heasks.
“No?”Ianswerintheformofaquestion.“ButItry.”
“Thatsounds…exhausting,”hesays.
Myeyeswidenathisbluntness.“IlovewhatIdo,butyes,it’sprettydamnexhausting,”Isaybeforecrackingupintolaughter.
“Thankyouforsharingallthatwithme,”hesays.“Ilikeknowingmoreaboutyou.”
“Thosearetheonlyinsightsintomysoulthatyou’regetting,”Iinformhim.
“I’lltakeit,”Bennettsays.Thereisahintofasmileatthecornersofhislips.
Irunmythumbalongthebackofhishand.“Hey.Mysister’sweddingishappeninginacoupleofdays.Wouldyou…doyou…”Istart.“Doyouwanttocomewithme?”
Ididn’tintendtosayit,butthereitwas.Outintheopensea.Maybetherereallyissomethingtothesmellofsaltwater,thesoundofthewavessplashingagainsttheboat,andlookingoutintotheendlessdistance.
Ormaybeit’sbecauseI’moutofmycomfortzonethatIsuddenlyfeelasenseofcalm.ButI’vebeenoutofmycomfortzoneforweeksnow.Becauseofthismaninfrontofme.
Bennettsqueezesmyhandashegivesthoughttomyquestion.Ilosemytrainofthought,hyperawareofourskin-on-skincontact.“Asyourplusone?”heasks.
“Youcouldalsocomeasmybodyguard.It’llmakemelookimportant.”
“Bodyguarditis,”Bennettsayswithalaugh.“Iwouldloveto.Thankyou.”Heremoveshissunglassesandlooksoutoverhisshoulderattheocean.Withtheglitteringbluewaterreflectinginhiseyes,thehazellooksjadegreen.Helooksatmyfacewithhismossyeyes,myskinburningbeneaththelifevest.
Nomorewordscome.Insteadwejustsmileateachotherandcontinuetoholdhands,ourkneesgentlyknockingbackandforthwiththerhythmofthewaves.Hisgazesendsshiversdownmyspine,andIforgetthatwe’remilesfromshore,milesfromwhereIeverthoughtwewouldbe.
Admittedly,beingonthisboatwiththismanwho’sstilllargelyunknowntomealsofeelsoddlyexhilarating.Forasecond,IthinkImightactuallybeenjoyingmyself.Maybethiswholewaterthingisn’tsobad.
Suddenly,outofnowhere,aspeedboatroarsby,breakingourgazeandsendingaseriesofhugerollingwavesinourdirection.Thewaytheboatrocksfeelslikeridingarollercoaster,andallthecozyfeelingsIhadaboutthewaterevaporate.
Igrabthenearestsolidthingnexttomeforstability,whichhappenstobeBennett.IloopmyarmsaroundhisneckwhileBennettwrapshisarmsaroundmywaisttohelpsteadyme.Inamatterofseconds,thedistancebetweenushasvanished.Mystomachdoesaflip,butIdon’tthinkit’sbecauseoftherocking.IsenddownthankstoPoseidonforhelpingusclosethedistance.
Theboatsteadies,butwestaywhereweare.IrunmyhandalongthebackofBennett’sneck,grippingittighter.Hepullsmecloserbythestrapsofmylifevest.
“Aboutthatbet…”Bennettwhispers.
“Shouldwejust…”Iwhisperback.
“Callitoff?”heaskswithpleadingeyes.
IthoughtIcouldtreadwaterandstayafloat,butitturnsoutI’mnotsuchastrongswimmerafterall.I’msweptup,sweptaway.Toofargone.
“Deal,”Isay.
Welingerforjustamoment,ourfacesinchesapart.Then,likethewatercrashingonrocks,anexplosionoftensionisreleasedaswebringourlipstogether.Igentlybitehisbottomlip,cravinghistasteagain.
Hereachesundermylifevestandrunshishandalongmylowerback.Ihangontohisbiceps,awaveofwantwashingoverme.Bennett’sbreathonmyneckcreatesacoolingsensation,thecondensationevaporatingasquicklyasitwasformed.Irunmyfingersalongthespotswherehisdimplesindentandbrushmythumbalonghislips.
“Justtellmeifit’senough,”hebreathes,cuppinghishandundermychin,“ornotenough.”
Atthat,hekissesmedeeply,tenderly.Atideofemotionrisesinme.Inthepressureofhismouth,Ifeelhiswant,too.
Ipushhimbackagainstthesalt-sprayedvinylseats,leaningdownontohim.Weangleourheadstofindawaytoreacheachotherundertherimofthebaseballhatuntilhefinallyliftsitoffmyheadandthrowsitontoanearbyseat.Hesoftlypushesmydarkbrownhairbehindmyshoulders,lettinghisfingersdragdownthroughtheloosestrands.Wepressourforeheadstogether,thetipsofournosestouching.Electricitycracklesthroughmelikeaboltoflightning.
Hisfingerswraparoundmythighs,silencinganythoughtsofIcanseeitnow.TheglimmerinhiseyesmakesmeforgeteverythingIknowaboutincompatibility.
Hepullsbacktolookatme,hiseyesashadedarker.Imemorizethelinesandcurvesofhisface.IfBennett’stheocean,I’malreadyintoodeep.Noliferaftcansavemenow.ThisriptidepullsmefartherandfartherouttoseauntilIcanhardlyseetheshore.Chapter17
IcarefullyleanoverNinatoworkonhereyes,addinganextralayerofmascaratohershortlashes.PóPolooksthroughherjewelrycaseforNina’s“somethingborrowed”whileGrandma,who’sintownforthebigday,takesphotosofNinagettingready.MomfinishescombingNina’shairandpullsitintoalowbun.
“Ican’tbelieveyoubroughtAssholeasaplusone,”Ninasays.“I’msoglad.”
“Heseemslikeaniceyoungman,”PóPosays,winkingatmewhenwemakeeyecontactinthemirror.
“Let’sjustseehowtodaygoes,”Isay,keepingmyfaceneutral.“He’smeetingusatthecourthouse.”
IfluffasectionofwhitefeathersaroundNina’sstraplessbodice.Withherlongbrownhairsweptupandpearlearringsglowingonherears,shelooks,inaword,breathtaking.Ifinishbucklingtheanklestraponherbabyblue,open-toedheels.
Ninastepsback,adjustsacurledwispofhair,andsmiles.“Greatjob,ladies!Ithinkthis’lldo.”
PóPoslipsoneofherringsontoNina’sfingerandthenlooksherupanddown,noddingwithapproval.
Grandmasnapsanotherphotowithherfilmcamera.“Youremindmeofmyselfonmyweddingday,”shesaystoNinainadmiration.“ExceptIhadadressthatresembledatieredcake.”
“It’sbeensolongsincewe’veseenthosephotos,”Ninasays,snickeringwithGrandma.
“Yourfathermusthavetheminanalbumsomewherearoundhere,”Grandmasays,lookingaroundthebathroomasthoughthey’dbeinhere.“I’llaskhim.”
IgrabtheemergencymakeupkitandNina’schangeofclothes,double-checkingthateverything’stherebeforeheadingouttothecourthouse.
Everyonepilesintomyparents’andAuntieLydia’scars.Assheclimbsin,PóPoreachesforthegrabhandlebutmissesandstumblesintothebackseat.MomandIsprinttoherfromacrossthefrontyard,ourheelsdiggingintothegrass.
“Mom!Areyouokay?”mymotherasksPóPo.
“Aiyah!I’mfine!I’mfine!”PóPosays,wavingheroff.
“Whatareyoudoingtryingtogetinthecarbyyourself?We’llhelpyou,”Momsayswithalowlevelofirritation
“Ibirthedthreechildren.Icangetinacar.”PóPobucklesherseatbeltandfacesforward.
Momshutsthedoorandshootsmeanapprehensivelook.
Withafreesecondtomyselfinthecar,Ichecktoseeifanymessageshavecomethrough.There’sonefromAlisha.
Excitingnews!Oneofyourtweetshasgonelow-keyviral.Lookslikethehashtagisworking.Yayyyy!!Havefunatthewedding!CongratstoNina!
OursocialmediacampaignhassparkednewinterestlikeI’dhadasuspicionitwould.Thisweekalone,therehavebeenmore#LoveInTheMoonlighttags,andeversinceweincreasedhowmanymoonsongswepairwithanimalsigns,I’veansweredoverthirtydirectmessagesaboutourservices.Itfeelsgoodtohaveanideaturnintoreality.Maybethingswillactuallystartturningaroundforreal.
Whenwearrive,IfindBennettlingeringinthelobbyofthecourthouse,lookingsharpinanavybluesuitwithacrispwhitebutton-down.There’sasweepingrushofemotionsinsidemeseeinghimhere,dressedlikethis,lookingatmelikethat.
“Hey,you.Youlookbeautiful,”Bennettsays.Hetwirlsmearoundasheadmiresmyrobin’s-eggbluesilkdressbeforepullingmeinforahug.Iburymyfaceinhisneck,wrappingmyarmsaroundhiswaist.
Istealanotherlookathim.“You’relookingveryhandsome.”
“June,it’slovelytoseeyouagain,”hesays,lookingexcited.Heopenshisarmsforahug,andPóPoseemsthrilledtoacceptitbythewayshepatshimrepeatedlyontheshoulderastheyembrace.
Bennettgentlyplaceshishandonthesmallofmybackaswefollowmyfamilyintothecourthouseroomatourdesignatedceremonytime.
Inside,IpullAshertothesidebeforetheceremonybegins.“Asher,”Isayinmymostserioustone.
“Olivia,”Ashersaysbackwithahintofnervousness.We’veneverspokendirectlyabouthisanimalsignincompatibilitywithNina,butshemust’vetoldhimaboutourconversations.
“You’realuckyman,Asher.Treatmysisterright.Don’teverlietoher.Ifyoudo,well…”Idragmypointerfingeracrossmythroat.Iadjusthistieandspinhimaroundbytheshoulders.“Don’tdisappointme.”
HiseyesarewideashenodsspeechlesslybeforehurryingbacktoNina.
Bothsidesoffamilyandfriendsgatheraroundthebrideandgroom.EveryonefallssilentasNinaandAshertaketheirplacesinfrontofthejudge.
IwatchbehindglassyeyesasNinaandAsherreadtheirvowsaloudandexchangerings.I’mhyperawareofBennettstandingnexttome,hispresenceoverwhelmingandextremelydistracting.Everysooften,oureyescatch,andwequietlylaughtoourselves.Hereachesformyhand,ourpinkieslinkinginprivate.
Neartheendoftheceremony,Asher’smothercomesuptothefrontandgivesablessing.BothsetsofparentscarrystickswithalinenblanketattachedbythecornersandholditoverNinaandAsher.Together,NinaandAshersmashtheirheelsagainstabag,breakingtheglassinside.Theglasssoundslikeitshattersintoamillionpieces.
“Mazeltov!”thegroupcheersandclaps.
NinaandAshersealtheirloveandpromiseswithakiss.AsherspinsNinaintoadip,andshedramaticallykicksherlegup.Mylittlesisterfoundhermatch.Anotherincompatiblecouplefindingreallove.
IridewithBennetttoMing’sGardenintheSanGabrielValley,wherethefamilygathersfortheweddingfeast.ThisspotisNinaandAsher’sfavoriteweekenddimsumspotandthelocationoftheirfirstdate.Wherebettertocelebratetheirlovethantheplaceitallstarted?
Awaiterleadsustotheprivateroominthebackwhereseverallargeroundtablesaresetup.SeeingBennettinanimportantfamilysettingstirsinmeawholenewlevelofnervousness.
Votivesandflowersdecoratethetabletops,thelightfromthecandlesemanatingawarmglowthroughouttheroom.Aportabledancefloorissetupinfrontofamicrophonestand,drumset,flute,saxophone,andpianokeyboard.
PóPogripsmyarmasIleadhertoherseat.WalkingwithusisDadalongwithGrandmaandGrandpa,whoholdhandsastheyshuffletowardthetables.
“Whatdoyouthinkallthisisabout?”Dadasksus.“Idon’trememberpayingforaband.”
PóPogivesusamischievoussmile.“It’smysurpriseforNinaandAsher,”shesays.
“HasNinaseenthisyet?”Igesturetowardthedancefloorandlookaroundforher,butshemustnotbehereyet.“Didn’tshespecificallynotwantdancing?”
“Aweddingisn’taweddingwithoutdancing!”PóPosaysinanall-knowingtone.“She’lllikeit.”
Asher’sfamilyandourssplitupsothefamiliesareintermingledatthetables.BennettoffershisarmasPóPolowersintoherseat.Wetakeourplacesnexttoher.
IthankthewaiterandaskforacoupleofglassesofwaterinMandarin.
“Ididn’tknowyouspokeChinese,”Bennettsays,lookingimpressed.
“Notfluently.AlifetimeofChineseclassesandIcanorderwaterandaskwhattimeitis,”Isaywithasigh.
Bennettnodsinunderstanding.“I’mnotfluent,either,butI’vetriedtolearn.It’snoteasytopickuporpracticewheneveryonearoundyouspeaksEnglish.”
“Yeah.Weneverspokeitathomegrowingup.MymomcanspeakMandarin,butmydaddoesn’t,so…”Itrailoff,reflectingonthisparticularshortcoming.“AlltheChineseIheardatLunarLovedidn’tevensoakinlikeIhopeditwould.SometimesIhavethecruelrealizationthatI’llneverknowthelanguagemyownmothergrewupspeaking.”
UncleRupertandAuntVivienneclaimspotsbetweenBennettandAsher’sgodparentsatourtable.
“Olivia!HowarethingsatLunarLove?”AuntVivienneasks.“Ishouldintroduceyoutomysister’shusband’scousin’sson.Ifanyonecanworkwonders,it’syou!Thingsareimproving,Ihope?”
Ishiftuncomfortablyinmyseat,knowingBennett’slistening.
“Stopwithallthat!You’regoingtomakeheranervousrexbeforeherspeech!”UncleRupert,apaleontologistwithapenchantfordinosaurpuns,interjectswithaslygrin.
PóPo,whobynowhasheardeveryoneofUncleRupert’spuns,looksgenuinelycharmedbyhishumor.Helookspleasedashearrangeshischopsticksacrossthetopofhisplate.
Softmusicplaysoverheadwhilewewaitforthebrideandgroomtoenter.
PóPomustsensethewayIclammedup.“I’mgladyou’rebothabletosetasideyourdifferencestobehere,”shesaysbluntly.
I’mstartledbythecallout,andwebothlaughnervously.
“Metoo,”Bennettsaysagreeably,thoughIremainquiet.“HowdidNinaandAshermeet?Didyoumatchmakeher?”
PóPowavesherhand.“Goodness,no!Canyouimagine?”shesays,elbowingmegentlyinmyside.“Threematchmakersinthefamily,andyou’dthinkthere’dbemorecompatiblecouples.”Shemakesairquotesaroundthewordcompatible.I’mdistractedbywhereshelearnedtodothat,andbyherunexpecteddismissalofcompatibilitythatshe’sbeenhintingatforweeksnow.
“Youknow,inmymatchmakingdaysinTaiwan,”shecontinues,“Ipairedpeoplebasedontheirzodiacanimalsign,education,andfamilybackground.Myfocuswasmatchingclientsfromfamiliesofequalsocialstatus.Intheolddays,matchmakersusedtobealotmoreesteemed.Butnowwehaveadifferentrelationshipwithclients.”
PóPosuddenlysoundslikeshe’sfeelingreminiscent,andwhileInormallyloveit,Idon’tknowhowmuchofitBennettwouldwantto—orshould—hear.
“StartingLunarLovehere,Idroppedalltheotherdetailsofmatchmakingandfocusedonthezodiac.Thatwasmyinterpretationofit.Mywayofmodernizingit,Iguessyoucouldsay.Tokeepitsimple,”PóPoexplains.“Nowmatchmakingcanincludelookingatassets,salary,profession,andevenbloodtype.”
“Modernizing.Veryinteresting,”Bennettsays,raisinghiseyebrowstheatricallyatme.
“InChina,matchmakerscanchargetens,evenhundredsofthousandsofdollars,”PóPosays.“LunarLove’spracticallygivingawayourservices!MaybeIshould’vestayedinAsia.Ireadthatamanpaidoneandahalfmilliondollarsforamatch.I’msureittookalotoftimeandeffortforthematchmakertosortthroughthousandsofwomen,butwiththatpricetagattached,I’dwelcomethechallenge.”
Bennettlistensintently,focusedonPóPoandherstories.
“Isthatevenreal?”Iask,suspiciously.
PóPocluckshertongue.“Wecouldbemakingbonusesupwardsofthirtythousanddollars.”
“Canyouimagine?”Bennettasks,leaningforward.
“Maybeweshouldbechargingevenmorethanwedo,”Isay,eventhoughIdon’tfeelthisway.I’vealreadyconsideredrestructuringthefees.Lessexclusive,moreinclusive.Afterall,ifwewanttoattractayoungerclientele,ourpricescan’tbeashighastheyare.WhenZodiaCupidlaunchesandoffersfreeprofileswithpaidupgrades,howcanwecompetewiththeir$9.99permonth?Ituckmyhandsundermythighsandfocusonthecandle’sflickeringflame.
“Butnowpeoplewanteverythingimmediately,andlovenolongerhastobeconsideredabiginvestmentwhentherearefreeoptionsavailable,”PóPoadds,givingBennettadramaticside-eye.Tomysurprise,helaughs.
AllthistalkaboutLunarLoveonlyremindsmehowmuchworkthereistodo,especiallyifwewantLunarLovetobearoundformuchlonger.ApangofguiltformswhenIthinkabouthowmuchtimeI’vespentallowingmyselftobedistractedbymycompetition.Itrytoshrugoffthestressandenjoythewedding.
Withoutwarning,wehearthedoorkickedopenandseeAsherwalkincarryingNinainhisarms.Ninahaschangedintoalong,ruby-redsilkdress.IglanceoveratPóPotogaugeherreactionandwatchashertight-lippedsmilerelaxes
MyfocusturnsbacktoNinaashereyesflitfromthegrouptothedancefloor.Shebreaksintoagigglereservedonlyforthosehopelesslyinlove.
“Lookslikewe’redancingafterdinner!”Ninaannounces.“Thanks,PóPo!Weloveit.”
PóPoslapsmythighwiththebackofherhand.“Itoldyou!”shesays,pleased.There’snooneelsewhocouldgoagainstNina’swishesandgetawaywithit.
Thenewlywedspositionthemselvesinfrontofthedancefloor.“Beforeweeatdinner,”Ninastarts,“AsherandIwouldliketotakeamomenttohaveatoastandincorporateaChinesetraditionthatIrecentlylearnedaboutandlove.”Shelooksoveratmeandsmiles.“It’sourinterpretationofateaceremony.Ichosemyfavoritegreentea,andAsherchosechamomile.”
Atthat,afewwaitersglideovertoourtableswithplattersofwhiteteapots.Theystartpouringhotteaintotheteacupsnexttoeachguest’sdinnerplate.
AshercontinueswhereNinaleftoff.“Thetwoteashavebeenblendedtogether,representingourunionandfamiliescomingtogetherasone.Tothosewhowereabletobehere,tothosewhoaren’therewithustoday,andtolove.”
“Andhealth!”PóPoshoutsout,holdingupherteacup.
“Andhappiness!”Asher’sgrandmotherchimesin.
Weallholdupourteacupstotoastandthensipthegreen-chamomileconcoction.
NinaandAshertaketheirseatsandmorewaiterscomeoutwithplattersandbamboosteamersfilledwithfood.Awholesteamedfishisplacedinthecenterofeachtable,thesilverygrayofthefish’sscalesandslicedgreenscallionsvibrantagainstthebleachedwhitetablecloth.Aroundthefisharebowlsofsteamedrice,stir-friedvegetables,hotandsoursoup,long-lifenoodles,andplattersofPekingduckwithsteamedbunsandhoisinsauce.Platesofgarlic-and-gingershrimparesqueezedinwhereverthere’sroomtofitthem.Basketsofdimsumarepiledontopofoneanother,welcominginteractionbetweenguestsatthetable.
Ifillmyplatewithamoundofsteamedrice.BeforeIcanaddmore,PóPotakesover.
“No,no!Notenoughfoodforyou,”shesays.PóPograbsmyplateandpilesmorefoodontoit.“Youneedtoeatsoyouhaveenergytokeepupwithmeonthedancefloor.”
Bennettfollowssuit,fillinghisplatewithenoughfoodtomakePóPoproud.Withinminutes,heandUncleRupertareengagedindeepconversationaboutwhendinosaurslastroamedtheearth.
PóPowatchesmeoverthecourseofthemeal.Attheveryleast,Ifinishoffthericesothatshedoesn’thavetoremindmeoftheimportanceofeatingeverylastgrain.
“BennettremindsmesomuchofGōngGong.Strong-willed,earnest,patient,andhandsome,”PóPoleansoverandwhispers.“Thingsseemtobegoingwell.”
“Idon’tknow.Maybe?”Imumble.SincemylasttalkwithPóPo,morehashappenedbetweenmeandBennett.“It’sbeennice,butwe’vebeentogetherbecauseofwork.Whoknowswhatwillhappenoncewesortoutthispodcastsituation.ThatbetImade,well,wecalleditoff.I’mnotsurewhatwillhappennow,butwithBennettbeingaRat—”
PóPoshakesherhead.“Incompatibility.Compatibility.Ifyouletit,they’llallruleyourlife.”
Mymouthgoesslack.“Uh,isn’tthatthepoint?”
PóPotucksacurlbehindherear.“Sometimesinlife,thereisn’tapoint.Sometimeswedemandthatthereis.Wepraythatthereis.Andsometimes,wemakeapointwhenoneisn’tneeded.Whenthingsareactuallyquitesimple.”
“Idon’tunderstand,”Isay.“Onedayyou’reprocompatibility,thenextyou’renot.”
PóPo’sdarkbrowneyesglimmerasshegrabsformyhand.“Liv,canItellyousomethingthatyoupromisetokeepsecret?”
IlookbacktomakesureBennett’sstilltalkingtoUncleRupert.“Ofcourse,PóPo.Youcantellmeanything.Whatisit?”
PóPofoldstheclothnapkinacrossherlapandthenlooksupatmelikeshe’sonlygoingtosaywhatshe’sabouttosayonce.“GōngGongandIweren’ttechnicallycompatible,”shefinallytellsmeinahushedtone.Shelooksaroundtomakesurenooneelseheard.
Myhandloosensitsgrip,mychopsticksdroppingintomylap.“What’sthatnow?”
“Irejectedmyparents’arrangedmarriageformeandmarriedGōngGonginstead.”ShecontinueswhenIdon’tsayanything.“Theymatchmademetoolate.Hewasmyfirstandonlylove,andhehappenedtobeincompatible.Iwishyoucouldhaveknownhim.WhenIsayhisdeathquiteliterallytoremyworldapart,Imeanit.Mychildrenweretheonlyoneswhogotmethroughthatdarktime.WhichleadsmetowhyIstartedLunarLove.”
“Ihadnoidea,”Iwhisper.“Howcouldyouneverhavetoldmethis?Thisishuge.”
“Nooneknows,”shesays.“HowwoulditlookifthefounderofLunarLovewaspromotingcompatiblelovewhensheherselfneverhadacompatiblemarriage?”
Allmythoughtsrushtomeatonce.Isitfrozeninplace,myhandsgrippingthesidesofmychair.“Idon’tunderstand.Didyoubothagreetolieabouthisbirthday?”
AsmallsmileliftsPóPo’scheeks.“Somethinglikethat.Forsolong,IbelievedthatmyhusbanddiedbecauseIrejectedmyparents’safe,compatiblearrangedmarriage.LunarLovewasmyrepentance,whatIpromisedmyselfI’ddo.Icommittedtoalifeofcompatibilityandwouldmakeitworknomatterwhat.”
“Youstubbornwoman,”Isaywithanamazedlaugh,myshockslowlywearingoff.
“Youseewhymystubbornnesswasinhibiting,”shesays.“Thethingwithspendingmorethanfiftyyearsofyourlifedoingsomethingisthatyougainagoodsenseofwhat’simportant,compatibleornot.”
“Compatibleornot?”Iwhisper.
PóPoreachesformyhandandpullsitintoherlap.“Don’tgetmewrong.CompatibilityisthebreadandbutterofLunarLove,andthere’struthinthesystem.Buthere’ssomethingelseI’velearnedinmylifetime:youshouldbewithsomeonewhonotonlymakesyouhappy,butwhochallengesyou.”
“Whochallengesme?”Irepeat.Whatishappeningrightnow?“Ican’tbelievethis.”
“Ifyoureallyboilitdown,LunarLoveprovidespeoplewiththeknowledgeandtoolsformakingrelationshipswork.”PóPogivesmyhandalightsqueeze.“Ididn’twantyoutobedisappointedinme,soIdidn’ttellyousooner,”shesays.
“Disappointedinyou?Youcouldneverdisappointme.Thankyoufortellingme,”Isay,squeezingherhandgently.“Yoursecretissafewithme.”PóPoleansinforahug,andIholdhertight.
I’mstillprocessingthisinformationwhentheroomquietsformytoastasmaidofhonor.Igrabmyglassofchampagneandovercompensatewithaforcedsmilethatmakesmycheeksburn.MyalreadyshallowbreathingquickensuntilIfeellikeI’mgoingtoburst.Bennettturnsfromhisconversationandpicksupthenapkinthatslidesoffmylap,placingitonthetable.
“Iconsidermyselfluckythatloveismylife,”Istart,myvoiceshaky.“Iamliterallyaroundloveeveryday.Inthethickofit.Helpingcreateit.Whichmeans,whenIsayI’veneverseenalovequitelikeNinaandAsher’s,youshouldbelieveme.It’sanhonortowitnessapartnershipfilledwithrespect,laughter,intensedebates,aflairforthetheatrical—asevidencedbyNinaandAsher’sentrance—lotsoflove,andhonesty.”
Lightlaughterfillstheroom.“IknowaperfectmatchwhenIseeone,”Icontinue.“NinaandAsher,Iloveyouboth.Congratulations,andmayyourbestdaysbeaheadofyou.”Iholdupmyglassandachorusofclinksringsoutintheroom.
Oncethecarrotweddingcake—intheshapeofaRoosterforNinaandAsher’ssigns,madebyyourstruly—iscut,thebandmemberstricklein.Dressedinall-whitetuxedosandsequinbowties,fiveolderChinesewomentaketheirplacesattheirinstruments.Nooneknowswhattoanticipate.Thewomanwiththeflutebeginstoplayfamiliar,high-pitchedopeningnotes.
“It’stimefortheirfirstdance!”PóPosqueals,havingalreadymovedontothenexteventoftheevening.
ThesingeropenshermouthtosingandoutcomesaMandarinversionof“MyHeartWillGoOn”byCelineDion.BennettandIglanceateachotherandburstintolaughterathowunexpecteditis.NinaandAsherlookconfusedbutdanceanywaytotheromanticcrooning.Theyholdeachotherclose,theirfeetmovinginsynconthetemporarydancefloor,andlaughtogether.PóPocloseshereyesandsingsalong,swayingbackandforthinherseat.
Thelastnoteofthesongends,andI’mexcitedtohearwhattheyplaynext.It’sanybody’sguess.Thesaxophonistleansforwardwithherinstrument,thesmoothnotesof“CrazyLittleThingCalledLove”fillingtheroom.PóPodragsmewithallthestrengthshecanmustertojoinher,whileItrytopullBennettuptojoinus.
“Youcan’tnotdance!”Ishouttohimoverthemusic.
“Idon’tdanceinpublic!”hesays.“Remember?Juniorprom.”
“Whatcould’vebeensobad?Youwerewhat,seventeen?Wealllookridiculousatseventeen.”
Heshakeshishead.“Itinvolvedapulledhamstring,sweatybangs,splitboxers,andmyentiregradelaughingatme.”
“IpromiseIwon’tlaughwhenyoupullyourquadthistime,”Isayveryseriously.
Bennettstaysputinhisseat.
Myshouldersdrop.“You’rereallygoingtomakemedancealone?”
Bennettvisiblytenses.“Sorry,”hesays,“buthonestly?Youdon’twantmedancingwithyou.It’lljustbehumiliating.”
“Okay,ifthat’swhatyouwant,”Isay,disheartened.
“Loveiscrazy,andthat’sthething!”PóPosings,reinterpretingthelyrics.ThesongisperformedinEnglishthistimesoevenIcansingalongifIwantto.Shedancesherheartoutandtugsatmyarm.Ifollowher,abandoningBennettatthetable.IrecallwhatPóPosaidabouthimnotwantingtogettooattached.Acloudofuneasinessloomsoverme,butPóPo’sexcitementpushesitaway.
PóPodoesn’tmovefast,butshewiggleswithpassion.Shethrowsherheadbackindelight,herhappinesscontagious.Auntie,Mom,andDadjoinin,eachofthemtakingturnstoshowofftheirdancemoves.Afewminuteslater,NinaandAsherboptheirwayovertous.
“Thiswasagreatidea,PóPo!”Ninashoutsoverthemusic.“You’reright.Iwould’veregrettednothavingthis.Maybeyoureallydoknowbest!”
“Don’teverforgetthat!”sheshoutsback.
WhentheslowMandarinversionof“Can’tHelpFallinginLove”boomsoverthespeakers,IgobacktothetabletositwithBennett.
Ileaninclosertohisear.“Youokay?”Iask.
Bennettdrapeshisarmaroundme,andIrestmyheadonhisshoulder.“I’mgreat.Thanksforinvitingme.Thismeansalot.”
“Thanksforcoming,”Isay,anglingmyfaceuptowardhis.“You’resittingthisnextsongout,too?”
Henods.
Forthenextslowsong,IfindmywaybacktoPóPo.Shewrapsherarmsaroundmywaist,andwerockbackandforth.
PóPoleansbacktolookmeintheeye.Sheholdsherpinkyup.Ilinkminewithhers,andwepressourthumbstogether.
“Liv,”PóPosays,“youareworthyoflove.Letpeoplein.Yourheartisstrongerthanyouthink.AndalwaysrememberthatIamsoproudofyou.”Shecradlesmyfaceinherhandandlooksintenselyintomyeyes.Inthissimpleact,it’sasthoughshecansenseallmyworriesandfearsandwantsanddesiresthataredeeplyembeddedinme.“Youwerenever,andwillneverbe,adisappointment.”Chapter18
It’stenminutespast11:00a.m.,andHarperstillhasn’tarrivedforhersession.IsitpossibleIscaredheroffforgoodwithBennettorshealreadyfoundsomeoneusingZodiaCupid?DidImissanemailabouthercanceling?Inapanic,Igooglesmallbusinessloans.Dozensoflinkspopulatethepage,andIscanovertopicslikefixedassetsandworkingcapital.
IlogintotheonlinebankingdashboardtocheckonLunarLove’sfinancialhealth.Thenumbershavedropped,evenwiththeadditionofHarperandafewothers.Socialmediaandthelivepodcastepisodehavedrawnsomeattention,butthey’restillnotconvertingenoughclients.
Ilowermyheadintomyarms,rackingmybrainforideas.IrememberPóPo’soffertoloanLunarLovepartofhersavings,butIcan’tacceptthat.There’ssomethingthere,though.Ilogintomyownbankaccountanddosomebudgetingandcalculations.IfIsignificantlycutbackongoingouttoeat,don’tbuynewclothes,andlimittravelforthenextfewyears,Icouldinvestmyownsavingsintothebusinessandstillbeabletomakerentonmyapartment.Barely,butit’sdoable.Itwouldbeowner’sequity.Notalotofowner’sequity,butenoughtocoverthepast-duebillsandtheonesfornextmonth.
Iinitiateatransferandwatchmypersonalsavingsdropdowntoaterrifyingnewlow.I’mbettingbigonLunarLove.Ishouldputmymoneywheremymouthis.
AsI’monthevergeofhavingafull-blownpanicattack,thefrontdoorswingsopen.Harper!
“I’msorryI’msolate.Mypreviousmeetingranlong,butthegoodnewsiswelockedinthatclientIwastellingyouabout.”Harperexhalesahappysighasshesettlesintothechairinthesessionroom.
Afterafloodofcancellations,I’mjustthrilledsheshowedupatall.“Congrats!That’sexciting.”
“Theirsocialmediapresenceisnotgreatrightnow,butwe’regoingtoturnitaround.Speakingof,Inoticedyoujoinedtheworldofsocialmedia.Welcome!Yourlasttweetwasgreat.Ilikethatyou’rekeepingthemessagestruetowhoyouareasabusiness.Don’tlosethat.”
“Thanks.Comingfromyou,thatmeansalot,”Isay,relievedonmanydifferentlevels.Wejustneedthatcontenttoresultinsign-ups.“Let’sstartbytalkingaboutBennett.Iknowyousaidonthephonethathe’snotwhatyou’relookingfor.Canyouelaborateonthat?Formylearningpurposes.”Sayinghisnameoutloudfeelsrevealing,asthoughImayhavesaidittooaffectionately.
Harperadjuststhewaistlineofherjeansandpropsherleftcalfunderherrightthigh,gettingcomfortablebeforedivulgingheremotions.
“Iunderstandwhyyoupairedmewithhim.He’sconfident,opinionated,enjoysgoodfood,andiseasytotalkto,”shereports.
Imaintainaneutralexpression.I’vemadeoutwithoneofmyclients’matches.Oneofmyclients’dates!Thewordprofessionaldoesn’texistinmyvocabulary.I’macompletefraud.
“But…”Shetrailsoff.
“Butwhat?”Igripmypentighter.
“Hewouldn’tstoptalkingaboutyou!”Harpersayswithoneraisedeyebrow.
Iwrinklemynose.“Ihopemybeingtheredidn’tdominatetheconversation.Ishouldn’thaveshownuplikethat.”
“No,Ididn’tmindthat.Imean,hekeptbringingyouupinconversation.Whetherhewasawareofit,whoknows,buthedid.”
“I’llhavetodiscussfirst-dateetiquettewithhim,”Imumble,scribblingintomynotepad.“Sojusttoconfirm,youdon’twantanotherdatewithhim?”Iholdmybreathinanticipation.
Harpergrins.“YouthinkImissedthatlastdateonaccident?”
Ieyeherdoubtfully.“Didyounot?”
“It’slikeIsaidlasttime,thematchmakerneeds,well,amatchmaker,”shesayswithawink.
“Isee.”I’mthematchmakerhere,butIcan’tbeupsetatapayingclient.
“Wegrabbedlunchlastweektoworkoutsomedetails.Hehadawholeplan.Itwassosweet.Icouldtelltherewassomethingbetweenyoutwoatthedumplingfestival,”Harpersaysmatter-of-factly.
“Oh,no,”Isay,shakingmyhead.MyjawclenchesasIprocesswhatshe’stoldme.Bennettmaneuveredmetogetwhathewanted:adate.Howelsehashemanipulatedme?
“AndhereIwasthinkingyouonlydidstrictlycompatiblematches.Aren’tyouaHorse?”
Isituprightinmychair.“Wedo.Conflictingtraitscanposerealproblemssometimes.Alotofmisunderstandings,opposingopinionsandvalues,qualitiesthatmightbeendearingatfirstbutendupbeingdealbreakers.Compatibilityistriedandtrue.Thatdoesn’tmeanperfect,becausenothingis,butit’slikemixingbutterandsugartogetherforacake.Incompatibilityislikemixingbutterandsalt.Sure,someonemightlikethatflavorcombination,butwhenyoueatenoughofit,thatcake’sgoingtomakeyoufeelnotsogood,”Isay,startingtoramble.It’sstartingtogetexhaustingdefendingthecoreofourbusinessthatnoonebutmeseemstocareaboutanymore.
“Gotit.Attheendoftheday,IwantsomeonenicewhoIcangotoItalywithandgorgeonendlesspoundsofpastatogether.Isthatsomuchtoask?”Harperaskswithalaugh.
Iguessforherthatnice,pasta-lovingpersonwon’tbeBennett.Asurgeofreliefrunsthroughme.
“Youandmeboth,”Itellher.Atthethoughtofpasta,mymentalrolodexflipstoParkerT.,theRoosterImatchedwithonZodiaCupid.HelovesItalianfood,andifhelikeshistoricallandmarks,thenheprobablyenjoystraveling.Thehoursaren’tgreatasarestaurantowner,thoughthey’retypicallybetterthanachef’shours,soIwon’trulehimout.IfHarperdoesn’twantBennett,it’sontothenext.
ButParker’saRooster.IfIcanfindouthisbirthhour,theremightbeachancehisascendantalignswithHarper’sDragonsign.I’llmessagehimontheappandfindout,revelingintheironyofLunarLovepoachingZodiaCupid’sclients.That’swhattheygetforinvadingourterritory.
AssoonasHarperleaves,IopenZodiaCupidandscrollthroughmymatchesuntilIfindParker’sname.IstarttypingandhitSendonthemessagebeforeoverthinkingit.
Alightpinkswipe-throughinstructionpanelpopsupwithillustratedpeoniesinthebackground,catchingmeoffguard.Bennettwentthroughwithgamifyingtheapp.Despiteourconversationatbreakfastandhissayinghewantedtorethinkthings,IguessIdidn’tmakeaconvincingenoughcasetoscrapthefeature.
IhoveroverBennett’sprofile,recollectinghispeonycount.Howmuchhigherisitnow?Ipressmythumbtothescreenandsoakuptheinformationthatappears.Apparentlymuchhigher.Mystomachtumblesoveritself.Whoelsehashebeenseeingandtalkingtobesidesme?Inthismoment,thepastbecomesmypresent.Ican’tbehurtagain.Notlike
TotakemymindoffBennett,Iclickintooneofourmostrecenttweetstorespondtoacomment.OnepersontweetsaskingifhecanchangehissigntoaDragonbecauseitsoundscooler.Itypeupafriendlyresponseinforminghimthatallclientsmustbetheirrealsigninordertofindtruecompatibility.We’renotinthepositiontobeturningpayingclientsaway,butthat’sjustridiculous.Icheckthenumbersandseethatthelatestmoonsongpairinghasoverthreehundredretweets.AsmuchasItrytopushBennettout,inthebackofmyheadIcanpracticallyhearhimgloatingabouthowusefuldatais.Inamessage,someoneaskswhatourprocessandratesare.It’ssmall,butit’ssomething.
Ileanbackinmychair,closemyeyes,andlistentothesoundsofLunarLove.There’salowmurmuroutsidefromtheafternooncrowds,sporadiccreaksfromthebuilding,andthesoundofmyownheartbeat,whichfeelslikeithasn’tstoppedracingsinceItookoverthebusiness.
Thelocalsandtouristspassingbyinfrontofourwindowcatchmyeye,andInoticeawoman’spastellilacsuit.Carol?Nottoday.Notnow.Butshe’snotalone.Shecomesbearingclients.Probablydevelopers.Icompletelyforgottorespondtoheremail.WhatelseamIforgetting?
CarolstridesdownthepathtoLunarLove.Hertwoclientscatchuptoher,thethreeofthemwalkingsidebysideasCarolgesturesexcitedlyatthebuilding.Ifirstnoticeredplasticglasses.Elmer?IsthatBennettnexttohim?
Ijumpupfrommyseat.Bennett’shereHere.AtLunarLove.Thenerveofthatman.
Iopenthedoorandstandwithmyhandsonmyhips,blockingtheentryway.“CanIhelpyou?”IdirectmyquestiontoBennett.
Bennettoffersafirmsmile.“Hey,sorry!Ignoreus.We’releaving.”HecallsouttoCarolandElmer,“Hey!We’renotgoinginthere.”
Carolwavesherhandtowardthebuilding.“IemailedyoulastweekthatIwasbringingclientsby,”shesaystome,luggingthesamebag,differentcolor,upherarm.Poppypopsupfromthedepthofthepurseandyips.“Ineverheardbackfromyoubutassumeditwasokay.Wewon’tbelong.”
ToBennett’scredit,heactuallylooksannoyed.HecouldwinanAcademyAwardforthatlevelofcommitment.“Ididn’tknowthiswasthebuildingshewastalkingabout.We’reonourwaytothenextone,”hesaystome.He’swearingabutton-downwiththesleevesrolledup,abusinesscasualtypeofhandsome.Asheleansinforahug,Iswingmyarmaroundforasidepat,mybrainfortunatelytakingoverbeforemybodyhasachanceto.BythewayBennettangleshisbody,Icantellit’sawkwardforbothofus.
“Right,”Isaydisbelievingly.“Youjustfollowheraroundwithoutaskinganyquestions?”
“Thiswasalast-minuteaddition,”hesays.
Idon’tknowwhattobelieveanymore.“Aweekislast-minute?”
“Elmer’sinchargeofcoordinatingthenewofficetours,”heexplains.“Wehavefivethatwe’relookingat,andthiswasontheway.Ididn’tknowitwasLunarLove,Iswear.”
Caroltapsherfoot.“Well,fine,okay.Let’sgotothenextone,ifyou’resure.Butthisplaceisreallyspecial,”shesays,walkingdownthepathawayfromourbuilding.“We’llletyouknowifwechangeourmind.”
ElmerpushespastBennett.“I’dliketotakealook,”hesays,hisredglassesframinghissmugeyes.“Youcametoourofficetosnooparound.Nowit’sourturn.”
IwaitforanexplanationfromBennett.
“Hewasn’ttoothrilledaboutlearningwhoyoureallyare,”Bennettrevealsinalowtone.“Ihonestlydidn’tknowshewasbringingushere.”
IremindmyselfoftheinformationIjustlearned.We’reonmyturf.IextendmyarmsoutunderLunarLove’spinkdoorframe.Noone’sgettingpastme.
Elmerpeeksaroundmyheadtoseeinside.“Thosewallscouldbeknockeddown.There’ssomuchpotential!”hesayslikehe’stryingtobeprovocative.
Alishapokesherheadoutofthebackoffice.“Wehavecompany,Isee!”shesays,strollingovertous.Idroponeofmyarmstoletherpass.“Bennettupcloseintheflesh.Man,IwishRandallwasn’tonlunchbreaksohecouldwitnessthis.”
Bennettextendsahand.“Andyoumustbe?”
Alishapursesherlips.“Olivia,gladyou’respeakingsohighlyofme,”shesayswithmockannoyance.“I’mAlisha,Olivia’smatchmaker-in-crime.”
“Greattomeetyou,”hesayswithasmile.
Ishouldn’thavefilledAlishainoneverythingbecausethelookshegivesmeinfrontofBennettisacleargiveaway.Henotices,andasmalllaughthroughhisnosecomesout.
“Whenwasthelasttimethatcarpetwasreplaced?”Elmerasks,peekingthroughoneofthewindows.
“Oh,let’ssee,”Isay,pretendingtotakehisquestionseriously,“sometimebetweenthefirstmoonlandingandwhentheSpiceGirlsbrokeup.”
Alishagrabsmyarm.“Nowthatwasasadyear.”
Elmerrollshiseyesandcontinuestocritiquethespace.“FirstthingI’ddoisgetridofallthepinkandred.”
Myjawdropsathisaudacity.“Don’tgettoocomfortable,”IcallouttoElmerwithanedgeinmyvoice.“We’renotforsale.”IlookupatBennett.“Youknowwe’renotforsale,right?Becausewe’redefinitelynotforsale.”MychestfeelsheavywiththepressureoffeelinglikeLunarLoveisbeingkickedoutbothphysicallyanddigitally.
Bennettnodsquickly.“Iknowthat.Elmer,let’sgo.I’msorryaboutallthis.”
“Sincewhendidhebecomeyourbusinesspartneranyway?”InodtowardElmer,whowon’tletup.
“He’snotmybusinesspartner,buthedoesliketoinvolvehimself,”Bennettsays,shrugging.Heleansovertowhispertome,“He’ssurprisinglyill-manneredforaRabbit.”
Iresistlaughingathisjoke,forcingthecornerofmylipsdownandoutofasmile.Iresumeastoicexpressionandassertiveposture.
AlishawatchesElmercarefully.“Youknow,Imayhaveagreatmatchforhim.”
“Keepourclientsawayfromhim,”Isaysternly.“Wehaveareputationtomaintain.”
“Iheardthat!”Elmersays,finallybreakinghisgazethroughthewindow.
“Okay,I’minthemiddleofdateplanning.Fantasticmeetingyou,Bennett,orshouldIsayB.O.B.?”Alishasays,winkingatmebeforeheadingbacktotheoffice.
Bennettlaughsasheatrisesinmycheeks.“Soyou’retellingpeopleaboutme?”Hetakesastepcloser.
Iavoidmakingeyecontactwithhim.Itneverendswell.“ShehelpedmesolidifythedetailsofyourdatewithHarper.Shedeservedcontext,”Iexplaininaprofessionaltone.
“I’llacceptthat,”Bennettsays.
“Clearlyyou’retalkingaboutme,too,butnotinagoodway,”Isay,noddingtowardElmer.
Bennettsmiles,onecornerofhismouthpulledhigher.It’sinfuriating.“Isavemybestwordsfortalkingaboutyou.”
Internally,Irollmyeyesandsmileunconvincingly.AftereverythingIlearnedtoday,healmostfeelslikeastranger.ButthenIthinkaboutthepastfewweeksandI’veneverfeltclosertoanyone.
“Hey,Idon’tknowifyougottheemailabouttheHalloweenpartyZodiaCupidishostingonSaturdayforallbetatesters,butI’dloveforyoutobethere,”Bennettsays.“Wouldthatbeweird?”
“I’llhavetolookatmycalendar,”Isaycoldly.I’mnotinthemoodtorunintootherwomenhemightbegoingoutondateswith.Somewherealongtheway,webecametoofriendly.LunarLoveandZodiaCupidarenotfriends.AnalarmofpanicringsthroughmewhenIrememberthatIagreedtocalloffourbetinamomentofpassion.Fromnowon,Ineedtoonlymakeimportantdealsonsolidground.
“Ireallyhopeyou’llbethere.It’scome-as-your-animal-sign.”
“Cute,”Isay,unsmiling.
Heleansover.“Iseverythingokay?”
Iputonahappyface.“Fine.Everything’sfine.”
Igaveuppress,potentialclients,andprovingLunarLove’sefficacyforwhat?SothatIcouldfreelykissmycompetitor?Waseverythingjustanelaborateruse?Worse,didIfallforit?HedidworkwithHarpertomanipulatethesituation.Todateme.Sothathecouldprovemewrong?Idon’tknowwhattothinkorbelieveanymore.EspeciallynowthatBennettishereinfrontofme,shoppingforbuildings—includingours—forhiscopycatbusiness.Buthey,I’mtotallyfine.
“Alrighty!”Carolsingsfromtheendofthepathway.“Thanksabillion,Olivia.We’llbeintouch.”
“Nope,”Icalloutafterher.
“Thisisafineplaceyougothere,”Elmersays.“MaybeIsawsomedocumentsthroughthewindow,maybeIdidn’t.”
“Sorryagain,”Bennettmouths.“IhopeIseeyousoon.”
Iwalkhimtotheedgeofthewelcomemat.“We’llsee.AnddomeafavorandremindCarolthatwearenotforsale,”Isay,accentuatingeverylastword.
Iunconsciouslyslamthedoorshut,rattlingaframedphotoonthewallofme,PóPo,andAuntieoutsideofLuckyMonkeyBakery.Ourarmsarewrappedaroundeachother,andwe’relaughing.Wealllooksoyoung,sohappy,soinnocent.Chapter19
I’mgreetedonSaturdayafternoonwithadeliverytomyapartment.IopentheboxtorevealaspookychocolatecakeforHalloweenandacardwiththewords“Notrickshere,justtreats.Sorryforshowinguponyourpinkdoorsteplikethat.Hopetoseeyoutonight.—Bennett.”
Ibreakoffoneofthechocolategravestonesandletitmeltinmymouth.It’spossibleI’mbeingirrationalabouthiminfluencingme,butIcan’triskbeinghurtagain.It’slikeMomsays,“Evidenceiswhatmatters,notspeculation.”AsmuchasIdon’twanttogototheparty,Ineedtoknowthetruth.
Severalhourslater,IfollowsignsforZodiaCupid’sHalloweenpartyandtaketheelevatoruptotherooftop.WithsweepingviewsofdowntownLAandaglowingbluemoonasthebackdrop,thehunchedplasticskeletonsandspider-filledcobwebsstrungthroughoutthespacelookspookyinafunway.
DressedasRembrandt,IwearavintageblackcloakandberetthatPóPowasabletofindinherboxesofoldclothing,andI’marmedwithaplasticpainter’spalette.Theoutfitwouldn’tbecompletewithoutastick-onmustacheandmouche.
Aroundme,peopledressedinskintighttigercostumes,snake-printjumpsuits,andCupidoutfitscarrydrinksandmingle.MichaelJackson’ssong“Thriller”blastsfromaspeakernearthebar.IscanthecrowdforBennettsoIknowthegeneralvicinitytohangaround.
Iwindthroughpeopleinanimalcostumesandwalktowardawomanwithlong,wavyplatinum-blondhaircascadingdownherback.Theguynexttoherinachef’soutfitliftshistoqueandimmediatelyIknowit’sBennettfromthewayhishairfalls.Mypalmsbreakoutinalightsweatatthesightofhim.
MystepsslowasIobservethesituation.Itakecoverbehindawitch’scauldronofpunchbubblingoverwithdryicefog.ThewomanwithplatinumhairsmilesatsomethingBennettsaysandrestsherhandonhisshoulder.Inmymind,Iseehispeonycountnumberincreasing.He’sthestart-upworld’smosteligiblebachelor,afterall.Whywouldn’thebedatingotherpeople?Otherpeopleclearlywanttodatehim.
Icrouchlowertogetabetterangleofhimandthewomanwho’sgivingasolidA-efforttoimitateDaenerysTargaryen,MotherofDragons.Sheleansforwardtobetterhearhimandthenlaughsvivaciouslyatwhateveritishesaidthatprobablywasn’tevenfunny.
I’mbumpedfrombehindbyamancirclingthecauldron,andhealmostknocksmeoffbalance.
“Olivia?”avoicesays.
Iholdmyberettomyheadandanglemyfaceuptowardthestars.Standingovermeisthehostfromourlivepanelinterview.
“Marcus?”
Marcuswavesfromabove.Whatwasastylishsuitatthelivepodcastinterviewisreplacedbyabrightredbaconstripcostume.Hisfaceappearsthroughacutoutholeinoneofthepinklayers.
“Well,well,Ididn’texpecttoseeyouheretonight,”Marcussays.“Especiallyaftereverythingwiththewager.That’sverybigofyou.”
“Itwasalast-minutedecisiontocome.Don’ttellanyoneyousawme,”IinstructasIstandtofacehim.
“Areyoumeetingyourdatehere?”heasksexcitedly.“Orrather,yourlove.”Hesqueals.“Ican’tbelieveZodiaCupidactuallyworked.Secretly,IhadmymoneyonLunarLove.”
“Holdon.”Ismiletobepolitebutamdownrightconfused.“Whatdoyoumean,ZodiaCupidworked?Anddidyousaylove?”
“Wewerenotifiedyesterdaythatawinnerhadbeenestablished.Youbothwentondates,andapparently,youfellinlove.Congrats!”Marcussayswithalaugh.
Thepiecesfallintoplace.Finally,Ihaveclarity.I’vebeenplayed.
“I’mnot…Ican’tbeinlove,”Istammer.
Marcusgrins.“You’vegottheglowofawomaninlove.”
NeverinmylifehaveIhatedapieceofbaconmore.MythoughtsraceineverydirectionasStevieWonder’s“Superstition”flowsfromthespeakers.IabandonMarcusmid-sentenceandmakeabeelineforBennett.
“Whodoyouthinkyouare?”Iblurtout,interruptinghisconversationwithoneofhisprobablymanywomen.
TheMotherofDragonsawkwardlybacksaway.
Bennett’scaughtoffguardwhenheseesme,hiseyeswidening.“Olivia!”
Ishould’vetrustedmyself.Ofcoursehe’sexactlywhoIthoughthewouldbe
“I’mleaving,”Isay,gatheringthefabricofmycloakandturningtogo.Ipushthroughagroupofpartygoersinuninspireddogearheadbands.
“Wait,”Bennettcallsout.HecatchesuptomefasterthanIexpected.“Slowdown.I’msogladyoumadeit.”Hebendsdowntohugme,andmycheeksmushesintotheshoulderofhischefjacket.Sweatformsonmylowerback,andI’mthankfulmyperspirationwon’tbevisiblethroughthecloak.
“I’msureyouare,”Isay.“I’mgoingnow,soyouandyourdragonladycangetbacktoyourdate,orwhateverthisis.”
“Ourwhat?”heasks,hiseyebrowsscrunched.“We’renotonadate.Idon’tevenknowwhothatwas.”
“Saysthemanwiththehighpeonycount.Lookslikeyougamified,afterall.”
“Uh,what?Youknowmypeonycountishighbecausemyprofileishowwetestfeatures.You’retheonlypeonyforme.”Hislookofexcitementtoseemeturnstoconfusion.
Iscoff.“HowcanIbelievethat?”
Hefrowns.“Wespentalotoftimeandmoneybuildingthegamificationfeature.Weattheveryleasthadtotryit.Iowethattomyteam.”
“IhadalongtalkwithHarperandheardaboutyourplantomanipulateme,”Isay.Myheartthumpswildlyinsidemychest.HowcouldIhaveletthishappen?Ican’tfallforaRat.Itwon’tendwell,itneverdoes.
Bennettthinksforamoment.“Manipulateyou?Iwantedtospendmoretimewithyou.That’stheonlyreasonwhyIworkedwithher.Ithoughtwehadagoodtime.”
Ilaughbitterly.“Youcanmanipulatenumbersallyouwant,butyoushouldn’tmanipulatepeople.”
BennettgentlyguidesmetothesideandoutofearshotfromaneavesdroppingEasterBunny.WetuckunderanarchofplasticskullswhileagroupofMonkeyswatchesusfromthedesserttable.
“Ihaveexplanationsforeverythingbutyou’renotlistening,”Bennettsays,gettingvisiblyfrustrated.“Youdidsomethingsforustomeet.Ididsomethingsforustokeepseeingeachother.Oureffortsbroughtandkeptustogether.Iwasn’ttryingtoworkyouoverorsabotageyou.Neverhave,neverwill.Andthere’sdefinitelynooneelse.”
Ihearhim,buthiswordsaren’tconvincingmeotherwise.“Thisisn’tasituationthatyoucanhandleorcontrol,”Iinformhim.
“I’mnottryingtocontrolyou,”hesays.“Thoughthat’sperfectforyouofallpeopletosaythat.Youthinkyoucancontrolwholoveswhoandtheoutcome.”
“Ijustwantpeopletobehappy.Oh,andyouhaven’theardthebestpartyet.Yesterday,yougoandtellMarcusthatI’mtheonewhofellinloveandthatLunarLovelost.”Iclapahandagainstmypalette.“Powerplay.Verynice.Kickthesmall,old,traditional,boringmatchmakingbusinesswhileit’salreadydownandgoingunder.”
Bennettholdshistoqueagainsthischest.“Ididnosuchthing.Ihaven’ttalkedtoMarcussinceourpanel.”
Icoughoutalaughathisdenial.“Bullshit.Ijustsawhim,andhetoldmeeverything.”I’msuchafool!OnwhatplanetdidIthinkbeingwithBennettandrunningLunarLovecouldwork?
Bennettthinksforamomentandlookslikehehasarealization.“Elmer,”hemumbles.“Elmermust’vetoldhim.He’sprobablystillfeelingresentfulforbeingtricked.”
Ishakemyhead.“Everything’sElmer’sfault,isn’tit?Eventhoughit’syourbusiness.Wehadapact.Andwecalledthebetoff!Therewasn’tsupposedtobeawinner.”
“AndIhonoredthat.Idon’tcareaboutthewager,”hesays,hisvoicerough.“Icareaboutyou.Iwanttobewithyou.IfIhaven’tmadethatobviousenough,I’msorry.”
“Ofcourseyoudon’tcareaboutthewager.Youdon’tneedit!Yourbusinessisgoingtobefine.I,ontheotherhand,neededthoseclients.Igaveupthoseclientsforyou.Well,congratulations,”Isaysadly.“We’reattheendofthemonth,soIguessyoualsowinthearticleandthepodcastepisode.Marcusisprobablyalreadymakingplansforit.”
Westepclosertoletsomeonedressedasaparrotpassby.“Parrotsaren’tinthezodiac,youknow!”Icalloutafterher.Isurveythescenearoundus,shakingmyhead.
Bennettstepssidewaystoblockmyviewoftherainbow-coloredbird-person.“Ithoughtagreeingtothewagerwouldshowyouthatwecanbothcoexistasbusinesses;thatourcompaniesofferdifferentthingsfordifferentpeople,”hesays.
“Coexistingisoutofthequestion.Youweretheonewhoturneddownmypópo’smatchmakingefforts.Yetnowyouwanttobetogether?Please.”
Astrandofloosehairfallsacrosshisforehead.“IwasfocusedonbuildingZodiaCupid.Canyoublameme?”
“Andyoudid.YoubuiltZodiaCupid.Oncewe’reofficiallyoutofbusiness,you’llbeabletoproudlysaythatyoudestroyedLunarLove.”
“Idon’twantLunarLovetogooutofbusiness,”Bennettsaysdefensively.Heshiftshisfooting,andaclip-onrattailswingsaroundhisleg.“Youknowthat’snotwhyIstartedZodiaCupid.”Hiseyespleadwithme,andmyheartflip-flopsbackandforthdisloyally.ThisiswhathappenswhenIbecometooattached,tooemotional.
Istraightenmyshouldersandsteadymyvoice.“You’remyrival,nemesis,competitor…takeyourpick.Ican’tbelieveIevertrustedyouand…yourstupidlittleRatchefoutfit.”
“Hey!Don’tdisrespectRatatouillelikethat,”Bennettsays,tuckinghistailbackbehindhim.“Hemayhavebeenarodent,buthehadbigdreams.Infact,he—nevermind,”hesayswhenheseesmyseriousface.
Bennett’sheadistiltedtotheside,hisjawclenched.He’suncomfortable.
“Seeingmewasprobablyjustsomewayofcollectingdatapointsonhowlongitwouldtakeformetofallforyou,”Isay,adjustingthestick-onmustachethathasslippeddownovermylip.
“Allofthatisnottrue.Please,Olivia.Let’sjustforgetaboutthisstupidwager.Iwanttobewithyou.Let’snotfight.”
WhenBennett’sthisclose,Ican’tstopmyselffromthinkingaboutthewayhesmells.Hissmile.Hislips.Icanstillfeelhisarmswrappedaroundmywaistpullingmeintohim.Myheartachesatthememory.Butthere’snouse.It’stoolate.
Ilookattheground.“It’spointless,”Isay,mysadnesscrystallizingintosomethingfirmer.HowcouldIhaveletmyguarddown?“Honestly,what’stheuse?Allroadsleadtomomentslikethis.Idon’tmaketherules.”
“Yetyou’resogoodatenforcingthem,”Bennettsays.
“Webelieveindifferentthings,”Isay.
“Youhavethisideainyourheadthatwe’reincompatible,butIdisagree,”Bennetturgesinalowvoice.“Ithinkthatpeoplecansurpriseyou.That’swhatloveisabout.That’swhatthezodiacyou’veworkedtopromoteyourentirelifeisabout.”
“Youdon’tgettotellmewhatthezodiac,love,ormylifeisabout.”
Bennettrubshishandagainsthisforehead.“DoyoureallythinkIstartedZodiaCupidtoputLunarLoveoutofbusiness?DoIcomeoffasthatterribleofapersontoyou?ThatI’msingle-handedlytryingtodestroythezodiacitself?”
“Idon’tknowwhatyourschemeis!”Ishout-whisperdefensively.“You’resuchaRat!Ifiguredyououtearlyon,andIshould’veknownI’dberight.Youtakeotherpeople’sideastogetafreeride,youtrytopleaseeveryonesoyou’renotrejectedbyanyone,you’redishonestandsecretive,andyoumisleadforyourownadvantage.”
Assoonasthewordscomeout,Iregretthem.
Bennettlooksatmestunnedandquiet,anytraceofasmilewipedcleanfromhisface.“Maybeyou’reright,”hesaysdejectedly.“I’vebeentryingtofigureoutwhoIamforalongtime,andyoufigureditoutafterknowingmeforwhat,amonth?You’renevergoingtotrustme,areyou?”
Trustingisadangerousgame,especiallywhenitcomestotherulesofcompatibility.I’vealreadybentthoserulestoomuch.We’reincompatible,andIshouldneverhaveletmyselfgetthisfarwithhim.Ibitemylip.
Bennettgivesasmall,humorlesslaugh,theupturnedcreasenexttohistypicallyhappyhazeleyesnonexistent.“I’mnotyourex-boyfriend,Olivia.I’mnotgoingtoleaveyouorhurtyou.Imaynotbeacompatibleanimalsign,butI’mdefinitelynothim,”hesays,lookingpained.
“Neitherofusshouldhavetochangewhowearetobetogether,”Isay,tryingtoswallowtheaching.“AndIdon’tthinkeitherofuscanstandanotherheartbreak.”
Bennett’sfacecloudsoverwithhurt.“Noone’saskingyoutochange.Youspeaksohighlyofemotionandhumanconnection,yethereIamtrying,andyou’renotwillingtoseeitfromanotherperspective.You’rebeingsodamnstubborn.We’vebeengettingalong,despiteourso-calledincompatibility,despiteourjobs.”
“LunarLoveisn’tajob.It’smylife.”
“Isn’twhatwefeelreal?Becauseit’srealforme.”Hetakesastepcloserandreachesformyhand.“Can’tyougiveusachance?Idon’twanttoloseyou.”
“Thiswayyouwon’t,”Itellhim.
IstareatBennettasallmyconflictingemotionswearmedown.Forafleetingmomentwhenourhandstouch,alifetogetherfeelspossible.Butit’sanillusion.Wewerebornwhenwewereborn.Wearewhatweare.
“I’msorry.Ijust…can’t.”Iextractmyhandfromhisandturntoleave,disappearingintotheherdofanimals.
Athrobbingstingcrawlsitswayupthebackofmythroat,workingitswaytomyeyes.Tearsstreamdownmycheeksandontothestickyground,carryingmymustachewithit.Chapter20
Thesunslowlyappearsoverthehorizon,itsrayspokingupfrombehindthejaggedhills.Ipushmysunglassesupthebridgeofmynosetocovermypuffyeyesfromaweekofon-and-offcrying.BennettandIarebetteroffwithouteachother.Ourtraitswon’tclashtothepointofdestruction,andhewon’thavetolosesomeoneagain.NeitherwillI.
IfindAlisha,who’sgraciouslyagreedtojoinmethismorning,atthebottomofthetrailstretchingoutherquadmuscles.Evenat6:00a.m.,shelooksstylishinherleopardhigh-waistedleggingsandcroptop.
“Ready?”Iask.
Alishastandswithherhandsplacedfirmlyonherhipsandnodsbegrudgingly.
WebeginourjourneyupthepathtowardtheGriffithObservatory,hometospaceandscienceexhibitsandtelescopesthattransportvisitorstothecosmos.UsedasthebackdropformanyHollywoodmovies,GriffithObservatoryisawhiteconcretestructuretoppedwithpenny-coloreddomesrestingontheslopeofMountHollywoodinGriffithPark.Inthemorninglight,thecobaltbluesanddustypurplesoftheparkglow.
“Idon’tknowhowyougotmetodothis.Thankgodforgelundereyepatches.You’vegottotrythisnewbrandIfound.Myeyebagslooknonexistent,right?”shesays.
Allweek,she’striedtodistractmefromthinkingaboutBennett.Herenergyisusuallycontagious,butasoflate,ithasn’tquitecaughton.
“LikeitwasfiftypercentoffatChanel.Notabaginsight,”Ideadpan.
Alishalaughs.“Oh,sweetie.AsifChanelwouldeverhaveasale.”Shestaresupatthemountainwithalookofdread.“YoupromisetheviewatthetopwillbeInstagram-worthy?”
“It’sworththeburn,”Iassureher.
Wefollowthezigzagsofthewell-wornpath,noddingtofellowearlybirdsgettingtheirheartratesup.Alishabreathesheavilyandstaysafewstepsbehindme.Wetakeafewbreaksaroundeveryotherbendsoherheartdoesn’t“pop.”
I’mquietforthefirsthalfupthemountain,tryingtosweatoutanyremainingtearsstillinsideofme.It’sforthebest,Irepeattomyself.There’saBennett-sizedholethatcan’tbepatchedup.I’mwalkingatasnail’space,tryingtoworkthroughmythoughtswhilesteppingonefootinfrontoftheother.
“Liv,”Alishastarts,“wecanheadbackdownifyou’renotuptothis.”
“Icandothis,”Isay,pushingthroughthehurt.“IknowI’mnofuntobearoundrightnow.”
Wepassagirlusingherphone.Onherscreenisamonkeyicon.“Givemeabreak!”Ishout.“We’reonamountain.ThisisaZodiaCupid-freezone.”
Thegirlglancesupandshootsmeadirtylook.
Istandonmytoestogetabetterlookatherscreen.“You’reabetatester,though?OnascaleofStronglyDisliketoAbsolutelyDespise,howmuchdoyouhatetheappsofar?”
Alishagrabsmyarmandpullsmeawayfromthehiker.“Sorry!Havealovelyday!”shecallsouttothegirl,who’salreadystartedjoggingawayfromus.
“You’rescaringinnocenthikers,”Alishasays,tuggingmealong.
“Ifthey’reusingZodiaCupid,they’renotsoinnocent,”Imumble.
WefindaspotonabenchjustbelowtheObservatory,overlookingthecity,andsitforawaterbreak.Istretchmylegsoutinfrontofme,recallingoutofnowherethatthisiswhereBennetthashisShootfortheStarsvolunteeringeveryweek.
AmoreseriouslooksettlesonAlisha’sface.“YouknowIloveyou.AndIloveLunarLove,”shesays.Theninamoreplayfultone,sheadds,“Butdamn,youarestubborn.”
Alaughescapesme.
“Joiningyourfamily’sbusinesswasthebestthingI’veeverdone.Helpingpeoplefindloveistrulyadreamjob,”sheadds.
Inod.“You’vemadeLunarLovebetter.”
“Thankyou.Wealwaystalkabouthowpeoplearecomplexandthattheirsignsaren’ttheonlythingthatmakesthemwhotheyare,”shesays.“Right?”
“It’strue,”Iagree.“Humansaremorecomplicated.”
“I’veneverseenyoubesodie-hardaboutcompatibilityuntilyourlastbreakup.AndIdon’tonlymeantheonewithyourex-boyfriend.”
“AndtheonetimeIdatedsomeoneincompatible,well,weknowwhathappened,”Isaydefensively.“SinceIwasakid,I’vebeenlearningaboutandpromotingcompatibility.”
“Butnotlikethis.”Alishatugsatherleggings.“Iknowyou’rethematchmakerwhocan’tbematched,butwhatifyou’retheonlyonewhobelievesthat?”
Idrawcirclesinthedirtwiththetipofmyshoeandstayquiet.
“Whathappenedisinthepast,butit’sverymuchaffectingyourpresentandfuture,”Alishasays.“Itseemstomeyou’reclingingtotheideaofcompatibilitybecauseyou’rescared.You’rescaredthatyou’lllosesomeoneyouloveagain,andthatbynothonoringthetraditionalwayofmatchmaking,you’llalsoloseLunarLove.”
“I’velostlovebefore,”Isay,“butIdon’tthinkIcouldbearlosingLunarLove.”
“Noonedoubtedyourabilitytomatchmakeafterwhathappenedwithyourexandfriend.Sowhatifyoudatedananimalsignthatdidn’tpairwellwithyours?Youcould’vehadthesameresultevenifhewerecompatible.”
“ButwhenIdoubtedmybeliefs,thathappened.It’sbettertonotquestionthemanymore,”Isay.IdistancedmyselftoavoidfeelingthewayIfeelrightnow.SoifIstillfeellikethis,whatwasitallfor?
“Soyouwanttostayonthesafepath,”Alishasays,airquotingsafe.“You’renotsomeonewhositsbackidlywhileotherstakerisks.Yougoafterwhatyouwant.Youalwayshave.Justasyou’ddoeverythingyoucouldtosaveLunarLove,whywouldn’tyoudoeverythingyoucouldtobehappy?”
Herwordscuttothecore.I’llriskeverythingIhaveforLunarLove,forclients,forfamily,butnotformyself.
Alishasmiles.“RememberthewomanwhocameinbecauseherparentssenthertouswhentheydiscoveredthattheguyonherscreensaverwasHenryGolding,andherengagementringwasactuallycostumejewelry?Youworkeddayandnight,wentaroundtownonSinglesScoutings,andthoughtthroughdifferenttraitmatchupstofindhersomeonetobringhomeforLunarNewYear.Youwantedtheirrelationshiptobemorethanthat,though.”
Forthefirsttimeallweek,Ifeelmycheekswideninasmile.“Shehadtowanttofindlovefortherightreasons.IstillrememberherfacewhenItoldherweweren’tarent-a-boyfriendagency.”
“Exactly.”Alishanods,herhighponytailswingingfromsidetoside.“Youworkedwithher,coachedher,taughther.Andsheeventuallycamearoundtowantingloveforherself,notforherfamily’ssake.”
Inod.“You’reright.”
“Youworkhardtoputloveoutintotheworld.Andyourmethodworks.”ShepullsherphonefromherwaistpackandtapsintoTwitter.“Look,twoofyourclientspostedusingthe#LoveInTheMoonlighthashtag.”
Twosmilingfacesshinebackatme,alongwithafewnicewordsaboutus.Asurgeofpromisejoltsthroughmyveins.Whatwasonceanideaisnowalivingconceptoutintheworld.TwostrangerswerebroughttogetherbecauseofLunarLove.
“Butyourmethodisalsonotthelaw,”shecontinues.“Ican’ttellyouwhattodo.Noonecan.Maybethinkofyourselfasyourownclient.Maybeyou’dbetellinghersomethingdifferentthanwhatyou’retellingyourself.”
Iconsiderherwords.“Thankyou,”Isay,leaningoverforahug.“Imayhavebeenslightlyirrational.”
Wesitquietlyforafewminutes.“Youknow,HughGrantandColinFirtharebothYearoftheRat,”Alishaoffers,breakingthesilence.
“Thatchangeseverything,”Ijoke.
“There’salsosomethingelseIwantedtoshowyou,”Alishasays,scrollingthroughheremails.
“We’resupposedtobedisconnectedrightnow.Immersedinnature,”Isay.
“Theworddisconnectedisnotinmyvocabulary.Thismorning,myfriendsentmealinktothelatestDatinginLaLaLandepisode.LunarLovegetsashout-outateightminutesandtwentyseconds.”Alishalooksnervouswhensheshowsmeherscreen.“It’sthepodcastepisodewithBennett,”shesays.“Doyouwanttolisten?”
Myheartstartspoundinginmyears.It’sthepodcastepisode.Theonewewageredon.TheonethatIlost.
Alishaalreadyhasthepodcastlaunchedonherphone.SheslidestothespecifictimeintheepisodeandhoversherfingeroverthePlaybutton.
“Playit,”Isay,bracingmyself.IfhehassomethingtosayaboutLunarLove,Ineedtoknowwhatitis.
MythroattightenswhenthesoundofBennett’svoicefillstheair.
“TheonlyreasonI’monthispodcastisbecauseofasillywager,”Bennettsays.“But—”
Marcus’svoiceinterjects.“That’sepisodethirteen,forthosewhowantmorecontext.I’lllinktoitintheprogramnotes.Please,continue.”
BythewayBennettclearshisthroat,Icantellhe’sannoyed.“AsIwassaying,I’mherebecauseofthreeveryimportantwomenwhopavedthewayforabusinesslikeminetoevenexist.AndI’mnottalkingaboutapps.ImeanChinesezodiacmatchmaking.In1970,awomannamedJuneHuangstartedLunarLove,amatchmakingcompanyhereinLosAngeles,andshebuiltituptobeoneofthemostspecialmatchmakingbusinessesthatexiststoday.”
MynoseandeyesstingasIholdbacktears.
“LunarLoveistrulyone-of-a-kind,”Bennettcontinues.“Ihonestlydon’tconsiderZodiaCupidtobetheircompetition.They’reinaleagueoftheirown.Junewasmyinspiration,andI’mluckytohavelearnedalotfromher.Overtheyears,oneofJune’sdaughterstookover,andnow,oneofJune’sgranddaughters,Olivia,isincharge.IconsidermyselfluckytohavealsolearnedalotfromOlivia,too.Shewasactuallysupposedtobeonthispodcasttodayinsteadofme.InnowaydidIwinthiswager.Infact,Ilostprettybadly.”
“Howso?”Marcusasks.
There’salongpause.“Ifellinlove,”Bennettfinallysays.
Igasp,mybreathingbecomingfaster.Ibitemylipandleanclosertolisten.
“So,perthetermsoftheagreement,”headds,“LunarLoveshouldgetthesocialmediaplacementandnewclients.Theydeserveit.Imetanamazingwomanbecauseofthem.Imaynotbewhatshe’slookingfor,butifI’mluckyenoughtohaveasecondchance,Iwon’tmessitup.Someonemuchsmarterthanmeoncetoldme,ifit’ssomethingthatyoufeelandexperience,thatmakesitreal.WhatIfeel,it’sreal.”
Tearsprickmyeyes.“Youdidn’tthinkyoushouldleadwiththis?”IaskAlisha.
“Ihadtoletyougetthereonyourownfirst,”shesays.AlishahitsPauseandgrabsformyhand.“Hereallysoundslikehemissesyou.Whatdoyoufeel?”
“Thatit’sreal,”Isaysoftly.
MyphonebuzzeswithaZodiaCupidnotificationwithamessagefromParker.He’sopentotalking,eventhoughhechosetouseZodiaCupidforwhateverreasoninthefirstplace.Hedidn’tflatoutrejectLunarLove.Maybehe’sevenintothezodiac,andattheendoftheday,isn’tthatthetypeofexcitementwe’retryingtoinstillinourclients?
IlookoutoverLosAngelesasthecitystartstowakeupfortheday.It’sthecitywherepeoplecometomaketheirdreamscometrue.Whereanythingfeelspossible.Theplacewhereanyonecanfreelyreinventthemselvesoverandoveragain.Thetownwherecompetitionisfierce,butambitionisfiercer.Competitiondoesn’tstoppeoplefromchasingafterwhattheywant.It’snotgoingtostopme,either.
EvenLunarLoveisinitsownprocessofreinvention.Maybeit’snotcompletelyunreasonabletothinkthatthemergingoftraditionalandmoderncanactuallydosomegoodintheworld.
“Ihavetogo,”Isay,checkingthetimeonmyphone.Itakeoffrunningdownthemountain.Ihaveapitchtogetto.Chapter21
IarriveatthePitchIRLvenueindowntownLAtofindBennett.Thevenueissmallenoughwhereeveryangleisconsideredagoodseat.Onthelargescreenbehindthestage,IseetheZodiaCupidlogodisplayed.Perfect.ImadeitjustintimetocatchBennettinthemiddleofhispitch.
Uponstage,Bennettpacesbackandforth.Helooksnervous.Thisisn’twhatIexpectedwhenIenvisionedhimpitchingallhispastbusinesses.AshestartstodescribeZodiaCupid,hefumblesoverdataandstatistics.Hetakesasecondtodrinkwater.
IapproachthestagelookingsweatyanddisheveledinmyleggingsandoversizedT-shirt.WhenBennettplacesthecupdownandlooksup,I’mabletocatchhiseye.Igivehimasmallwaveandmouththewords“Fromtheheart,”pointingtotheleftsideofmychest.Hereturnsthesmileandquicklyinhalesbeforelettingoutalongbreath.
“PeoplearemorethanjustlineitemsinanExcelspreadsheet,”Bennettsays.Hestandsupstraighter,hisgriponhisnotecardsrelaxing.Theconfidencethatwaslackinginhisvoicebeforeisnowpresentandcommanding.
“There’snoalgorithmintheworldthatcancapturewhatit’sliketolaughuncontrollablywiththepersonyouloveorthatfeelingwhenyou’resittingnexttosomeoneforthefirsttimeatamovieandwonderingiftheywanttoholdyourhandjustlikeyoudo,”hesays,takingdeliberatepausesandstepsacrossthestage.“Orwhenyoubombsobadlyonadatebutdon’tcarebecauseeverysecondyouspendwiththemismoreimportantthananysecondyouhadwithoutthem.”
JustwhenIthinkhe’sfinished,helooksupatmeanddivesintowhyhestartedZodiaCupid.Hesharesacondensedversionofthestoryhetoldmeaboutfindinghismother’sjournals,andhowhisparentsweremismatchedyetperfectlymatched,andtheimportanceofdiscoveringyourculturenomatterwhatageyouare.It’swhenhespeaksfromtheheartthatInoticetheyoungaudienceshiftingintheirseatsandfocusingonhiminsteadofontheirphones.
Hehitshisstrideandreturnstothedataandstatistics.Hediscussesthebetaversionoftheapp,whothey’vebeenabletohirewithsavings,theirmarketingplanandhowthestrategyhasbeenworking,estimatedexpensesandanticipatedrevenue,andpotentialusernumberspost-beta.Atfirst,hecapturedtheirhearts—afeelingIknowwell—andthenhecapturedtheirwallets.
AsIwatchhiminhiselement,Ithinkaboutallthewaysthatonlinedatinghasbenefitedme.WhileLunarLovelostclients,itmademefigureouthowtobesmarteraboutthebusinessandourofferings.Withouttheapp,ImayneverhavefoundParkertomatchwithHarper.WithoutZodiaCupid,ImayneverhavefoundBennett.
Onmyphone,Iseemydad’snamelightupthescreen.Idecidetocallhimbackafterthepitch,lettinghiscallgotovoicemail.Whenhecallsasecondtimeinarow,Ican’tignoreit.
“Hello?”Iwhisper,duckingoutoftheaudienceandintothelobby.
“Heysweetie,”Dadsaysquietly.“Whereareyou?Canyoutalk?”
Throughthewindows,IwatchasBennettspeaksanimatedly.Thecrowdloveshim
“I’mactuallyinthemiddleofsomething.”
“Wouldyoubeabletogetoutofitandcomehome?”heasks.
“Why?Whathappened?”Iask,mytonemoreurgent.“Canyoutellmenow?”
Dadclearshisthroat.“Ihatetotellyouoverthephone…”Isenseashiftinhisvoice.Ipressthephoneharderagainstmyearandsearchforaprivatecorner.
“Dad,whatisit?”
“PóPopassedawayinhersleeplastnight,”hesayssadly.
Everythinggoesquiet.Peopleinmylineofsightblur.Ifreezeinplacebuttheroomfeelslikeit’sspinningaroundme.AhollowsilencehangsbetweenusasIprocesswhatI’vejustheard.
“Itwasveryunexpected,”Dadcontinues.“I’mafraidIdon’thavegoodnewstofollowthisupwith.Areyouthere?”
“Nn-hnn,”Imumble,halflistening.Mydrythroatandeyesburn.“Sheseemedfine.”Mymindjumpstowhenshefellintothecar,triggeringareminderofherfeelingtiredwhenwemadedumplings.Mypulseraces.HowcouldInothaveseenthatshewasn’twell?“Wasn’tshe?”
“Honestly,wedon’tknow.TheHuangwomenhavealwaysputonastrongface.Ifshewassick,sheneverletonhowbaditwas,”hesays.
Ileanbackagainsttheposter-coveredwallandcurlforward,tearsstreamingdownmycheeksontomyleggings.Everythinginmybodystings.“HowareMomandAuntie?DoesNinaknow?”Imanagetoask.Myheartfeelslikeit’sgoingtoclimbitswayupmythroatandoutofmybody.
“They’rebeingpracticalaboutitall.I’vebeendelegatedtomakingcalls.Theparamedicscamethismorning.Wedon’tknowwhathappenedyet.”
Inod,eventhoughhecan’tseeme.RemainingcalmisMom’sspecialty.Mytheoryisthatitcomesfromheryearsoflawyering—IfIletmyselffeelalltheemotionsIwanttofeelworkinginthislegalsystem,I’dnevermakeitthroughtheday—andbeingraisedbyPóPo,themostpracticalofthemall—Everythingcomestoanend.That’slife!
“I’llcomeoverinabit,”Isay,dazed.
WhenDadandIhangup,Iburymyfaceinmyhandsandsob,notcaringwho’swatching.PóPocan’tbegone.
AfteronelastlookatBennettonstage,Iheadtotheonlyplacethatcanproviderealcomfortrightnow.
IpushforwardonthedoorofLuckyMonkeyasI’vedonedayafterdayafterday,onlytorememberIhavetopull.Thedoorfeelsheavier.Whilenormallybutterandsugarwelcomemein,todayIdon’tsmellanything.IwindmywaypastbrowsingcustomerstothebackcounterandfindMaeYí-Póshufflingbackandforth.Icantellbythelookonherfacethatshealreadyknows.
“Olivia,”MaeYí-Pósays.Sheextendsherarms,andIbenddown,lettingmyselfbecocoonedinherembrace.Isqueezemyeyesshuttopreventtearsfromleakingoutontohershoulder,butnoluck.
“Ican’tbelieveit,”Isay,sniffling.
MaeYí-Póholdsmeasmytearscascadedownmycheeks.Shegentlypushesmeback,holdingmebytheshoulders.“Comewithme,”shesays.
Ifollowhertothebackofficeofthebakerywherethere’sanotherpersonsittinginachair.MystepsslowasIprocesswho’sinfrontofme.Shemust’veheardaboutPóPofromhermom,who’sclosefriendswithAuntie.
“Colette?”Iwhisper.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Colettejumpsupfromherseatandtakesasteptowardmebeforestoppingherself.Shelooksexactlythesameasshedidthreeyearsagobuthaslongerhair.Peopleconfusedher,Nina,andmefortriplets.Weallmaybemixed-raceChineseAmerican,butwedon’tlookthesame.
“Hi,Olivia.IheardaboutPóPo.I’msosorry,”Colettesayssadly.
MaeYí-Póclearsanotherchaircoveredinapronsandpapers.“Please,bothofyousit,”shedirectstousboth.“I’llbebackinasecond.”
IwalkpastColetteandtakeaseatontheedgeofthechairnexttohersasMaeYí-Póleavestheroomandquietlyclosesthedoorbehindher.
“Whendidyougetbackintown?”Ifinallyask.
“Fivemonthsago.IwasinNewYorkCityforthepastfewyearsafter…”Shetrailsoff.
Itwistmyring.“How’dyoufindme?”
“Whenmymomtoldmethenews,Ihadasneakysuspicionyou’dcomehere.Ithasalwaysbeenoursafeplace,”shesays.“Imeanttogetintouchearlier,butIwasn’tsurehow.ThenIsawyouatthatbakingclass,andyoutotallyditched.”
Anunexpectedlaughslipsoutatthethought.“Ididn’t.Mydateslipped,”Irespond,surprisingmyselfbyhownaturalourinteractionfeels.It’sasthoughnotimehadpassedsincewelastsaweachother.
Colette’seyeswiden,hermascaraedeyelashesframingherlightbrowneyes.“Youhaveanewboyfriend?I…thatmakesmesohappytohear,knowingthatyoudidn’tletyourexruinloveforyou.”
BeforeIcancorrecther,sheadds,“IsawtherecentpressonLunarLove.You’reinchargenow.That’samazing.It’swhatyoualwayswanted.”
“Itis.Iam.Ilearnedaloteversince…”Istart.
“Aboutthat,”shesays,adjustingherpositiontowardme.Shecrossesonelegovertheother,herbarekneespeekingthroughtheripsinherbaggyLevi’s.“Ioweyouanapology.”
“You—wait,what?”Isay,stunned.“It’smewhoowesyouanapology.Ihurtyouwiththatincompatiblematch.ImadeyouleaveLA.I’msosorryImessedup.Iwillalwaysregretmymistake.”
Colettesweepsherlongbangstothesideandshakesherhead.“Mistake?Areyoukidding?Youwerejustdoingwhatyouthoughtwasright.Ifthere’sanyonetoblame,it’sthemenwhowethoughtwecouldtrust.Itwasn’tyourfault.ButI’msorryIcutoffcommunication.IthoughtyouweremadatmeforthematchnotworkingoutandfordisgracingLunarLoveandyouandPóPo.Icouldn’tfaceyou.Icouldn’thandletheembarrassment.”
Ihuffoutindisbelief.“NeveroncewasIupsetwithyouforeitherofthosethings.”
Colettelaughshumorlessly.“Youweregoingthroughyourownstuff,andIshould’vebeenthereforyouinsteadofrunningaway.ButI’mherenow.AndI’mnotgoinganywhere.”
“I’mnotgoinganywhere,either,”Isay.Colettepullsmeinforahug,andIsoakheroversizedsweaterwithnewtears.
There’salightknockonthedoor,andMaeYí-Pópokesherheadin.Seeinghersendsmeintoanothersob.
“WhatamIgoingtodowithoutPóPo?”Iask,hunchingforwardonmyknees.Thepitinmystomachgrows.“WhatwillhappentoLunarLove?Idon’tknowhowtodothiswithouther.”
“Toomanyquestions.”MaeYí-Pósitsacrossfromusinherownchair.“You’regoingtokeepdoingwhatyou’redoing.Shepreparedyouforthismoment.Youalreadyhaveeverythingyouneed.Iknowyourpainrightnowfeelsunbearable,butthelastthingPóPowould’vewantedwasforyoutobesad.”
“HowcanInotbe?”Iweep.ColettehandsmeatissuefromMaeYí-Pó’sdesk
“Shelivedtobeninetyyearsold!That’sworthcelebrating!”MaeYí-Pósaysinamoreoptimistictone.
“Thatsoundsso…cheery,”Isaybetweensniffles.
“Shehitalongevitymilestonemostofuscouldonlyhopefor.Thelong,fulllifeshelivedisworthbeinghappyabout.Iknowthat’showshefeltaboutit.”AsmallsmilespreadsacrossMaeYí-Pó’sface.“Bynomeanswassheperfect,butshewasascloseasonecouldcome.Herlifeisworthcelebrating.”
“Ineverthoughtaboutitlikethat,”Isay,moretearsprickingthebackofmyeyes.“Ican’tstandthethoughtofhersufferingalone.”
“Oh,honey.”MaeYí-Póreachesoverandgrabsmyhand.“Sheneverfeltlikeshewasdoinganythingalone.Shelovedmanyandwaslovedbymany.YourPóPowasneveronetomakethingsaboutherself.Sheknewthatifyouweretoobusyworryingabouther,youwouldn’thavebeenabletoworryaboutyourself.Andshecaredforherfamilymorethananythingelseinthisworld.Itwould’vedestroyedhermoretoseeyouallfussoverher.”
“Ijust…”Itrailoff.“Ididn’tgettosaygoodbye.”
“Becauseit’snotgoodbye,”MaeYí-Pósays.“Thisfeelslikeanimpossibleloss.Itwillforawhile.Butyou’llsoonlearnthatthisisn’ttheend.Wetakecareofourancestorswhenthey’regone,andwhilethatdoesn’tbringthembackheretous,webecomeconnectedtotheminadifferentway.”
IlookoveratColette,whonodsalongwithme,eventhoughweseemtohavenocluewhatshemeans.Atthispoint,I’llbelieveanythingifitmeansIcanbeclosetoPóPo.
“Ihaveanidea.”MaeYí-Póstandsandreachesforthreeaprons,handinguseachone.“Let’sbake,”shesaysreassuringly.
“Now?”Iask.
MaeYí-Pósharplynods.“Rightnow.Likeweusedto.”
Ifeelthetensionmeltingoutofmyshoulders.“Okay.”
“Let’sdoit,”Colettesaysasshesweepsherdarkbrownhairintoalowponytail.
MaeYí-Pó,Colette,andIsiftflour,whisksugarintoyolks,andwhipeggwhitesintostiffpeaks.It’sadreamlikefeelingthatbringsmebacktowhenwewerekids.
“ThesecrettotheSwissroll’sfluffyspongecakeishowgentleyouarewithaddingtheeggwhitesintothemixture,”shesays,delicatelyusingherspatulatoscrapethesidesofthebowlandfoldtheairypeaksoverthemselves.“Don’toverdoit.”
Iwatchherskilledmovements,allowingmyselftogetlostinthesoftfoldsofbatter.Shepoursthemixtureintoaparchment-linedbakingpanandslidesthetrayintotheoven.Whilethecakebakes,wemakethefilling.
“DoyourememberthefirsttimeItaughtyouhowtobake?”MaeYí-Póshoutsouttomeasshepullsheavywhippingcreamfromthewalk-infridge.
“Barely.Thatwassolongago,”Isay.“Doyou?”
MaeYí-Pónodsasshemixescreamandsugartogether.“YouweresoboredwaitingaroundatLunarLoveforyourPóPoandAuntie.Youtoldmethattheyallowedyoutocomehere,wheninsteadyouhadactuallyjustlefttodoyourownthing.”Shelaughs.
Ismile.“Soundsaboutright.”
“YourPóPocalledtomakesureyougotheresafely.”
“How’dsheknowI’dcomehere?”
“Becausesheknewyou,”MaeYí-Pósayskindly.
“Iguesssomethingsneverchange,”Isay,shakingmyheadwithalaugh.
Colettelaughsalongwithmeassheopenstheovendoor.“Thisisready,”shesays,removingacleantoothpickfromthecenterofthecake.
“Shewaitedallafternoonuntilyoucamebackonyourowntime,”MaeYí-Póexplains,liftingthesheettrayoutoftheovenwithmitts.
“WasshemadthatIhadjustdisappeared?”Iask,thesmellofvanillapermeatingtheair.
MaeYí-Pówavesherhands.“Shecouldneverstaymadatyouforlong.You’dcomesometimes,too,Colette.”
“Whatdidwelovemakingmost?”Coletteasks.
“Swissrolls,”MaeYí-Pósayswithawink.“Youalwayswantedtomakeanentirerolltobringbacktoyourfamily.YourPóPosaiditwasthebestcakeshehadevereaten.”
Afterlettingthecakecoolslightly,MaeYí-Pódelicatelypushesthewarmcakeintoaparchment-coveredlog.“It’sallaboutthepre-roll,”shesays,tiptoeingherfingersskillfullyalongtheedges.“Thisgivesthecakeitsshapesothatwhenitcools,it’sstillflexible.”
“Sothat’sthesecret,”Imumble.“Icouldnevergetthatright.”
“Itjustrequiresalittleguidance,patience,andalighttouch,”MaeYí-Póreplies.
Whilewewaitforthecaketodropintemperature,wefallintosilence,movingaroundoneanotheraswewashtheworkspacecleanwithdamprags.Oncethedripsofbatterhavebeenwipedfromthecountersandthemixingbowlsandtestingspoonsareloadedintothedishwasher,we’rereadytofillandreroll.
IsmiletomyselfabouttheresurfacedmemoriesasIspreadlightlysweetfillingoverthegoldencenter.Theedgesofthecakeslightlycurl,theparchmentpapercrinkledbeneathit.
“Allyours,”MaeYí-Pósays,gesturingformetodothefinalroll.
Islowlyturnthecakeontoitselfasfillingspillsoutoverthespiralededges.Colettesprinklesourcreationwithpowderedsugar,andMaeYí-Pócutsthetreatintoslices.
“ToJuneHuang,”MaeYí-Pósays.WetakebitesoftheSwissroll.“Mmm.”
“Thesearealwayssomuchbetterrightoutoftheoven,”Colettesaysbetweenmouthfuls.
Theairycakecomfortsme.“It’sthebestoneyet.DoyouthinkPóPowouldlikeit?”Iask.
MaeYí-Pótakesasecondbite.“She’dabsolutelyloveit,”shesays,wrappingherarmaroundme.“Neverforgetthat,nomatterwhathappens,yourPóPoiswatchingoveryou,justlikeshealwayshas,andshe’sveryproudofyou,justasshealwayshasbeen.”
IslowlynodtoacknowledgeMaeYí-Póandwhatshe’ssaying.ThecreamySwissrollfillingcoatsmytongueasIswallowdownafreshbatchoftears.Chapter22
Shewantsittobewhat?”Ninaasks,soundingasshocked,sad,anddefeatedaseveryoneelse.SheandAsherhavejoinedusatMomandDad’shouse,havingbeenabletocanceltheirhoneymoonwithapartialrefund.
We’reinthethickofcoordinatingPóPo’sfuneralwithUncleRupertonspeakerphonecontributinghisthoughts.It’sbeenafewdayssincePóPopassedbutthere’salotofplanningtodo.
“Fun,”Momsays.“Herwords.”
Inthekitchen,Iskinanapplepearandsliceit,dividingthehalvesintoquarters,thequartersintosmallerpieces.IsetthebowloffruitandahandfulofforksonthetablewhenAuntiejoinsusbearingtwobouquetsandapastrybox.
“MaeYí-Pódroppedby.Thisone’sforthefamily,”Auntiesays,placingoneflower-filledvaseonthekitchencounter.“Andtheseareforyou.ApparentlysomeonecamebythebakerytoseeifMaeYí-Pócouldgetthesetoyou.”
Auntiegivesmeawinkasshehandsmeavasestuffedwithpinkpeoniesandthebox.
Itentativelyacceptthem.
“It’sfromAsshole,isn’tit?”Ninamurmurs,wigglinghereyebrows.
“It’sprobablyfromAlishaandRandallorsomething,”Imurmur,evenwhenIknowitisn’t.AlishaandRandallbroughtflowersoveryesterday.
Icarrytheflowersandboxtothecounterandpluckoutthetucked-incard.
Olivia—I’mverysorrytohearaboutyourPóPo.Iknowtheycan’tdomuch,butIhopetheseflowersandSwissrolls(vanillaonly,ofcourse)willhelpprovidetheslightestbitofcomfort.—Bennett
Idigmyfingernailsintomypalm.Afterpushinghimaway,Bennettstillhasthehearttodothis.Atwingeofregretandguiltformsinsideofme.Wedidn’tgettotalkatthepitch,buthesawthatIwasthere.Itracemythumboverhisnameandthentuckthenoteintomypocketandreturntothetablewiththerolls.
MymomliftsapieceofpaperfilledwithinstructionsfromPóPoonhowshewantedherfuneraltohappen.Inadditiontosketchingoutaloosetimeline,shehadthreerequirements:thefuneralneedstobeonanauspiciousday,shegetstochoosemostofherpaperfuneralofferings,anditshouldbeacelebrationofherlife,whichinPóPospeakmeans“funandmagical.”
“Mommadeitclearinherletterthatshedidn’twanteveryonetobesosad,Rupert.Ithinkweshouldhonorit,”mymothersaysintothephonesetinthecenterofthetable.“She’shadhershareofhardshipduringherlife.Therewillstillbetraditionalelements.ThisisMomwe’retalkingabout.”
“Okay,okay.Let’sdoitherway,”UncleRupertagrees.
“Olivia,you’reinchargeoffiguringoutthemusic,”Momtellsme.
“Thenoisesignifiestheendoftheceremonyandthemomentforloweringthecasket,”Auntieclarifies.“Themusichastobeloudenoughtofrightenawayspiritsandghosts.”
“Isawinamovieoncethatout-of-workactorsarepaidtocryloudlyatfunerals?”Asherasks.“Isthattrue?”
“Havingsomeoneelseloudlycryingencouragesotherstoshedmoretears,sincebythatpoint,they’vealreadygrievedsomuch.Traditionally,alackoftearsatfuneralsmakesitlooklikethedeceasedwasn’tloved,andthisdisgracesthefamily,”Auntieanswers.“Butfuneralsarestartingtobecomesimplerandmoremodern.”
IonlyneedtothinkforamomentbeforeIknow.“Asaxophone.ShealwayslovedthesoundbecauseitremindedherofParis.”
AuntieandMomnodinapproval.
“Howappropriate!”UncleRupertsaysoverthespeaker.“Here’sabonetochewon:Shouldwehireamagician?”
Welookaroundatoneanother.
“Shewantsittobemagical,doesn’tshe?”headds.
“Ithinkthat’sexactlywhatshewould’vewanted,”Isay,breakingthesilence.
Ontheauspiciouseveningofthefuneral,familyandfriendsgathertowishPóPoasafejourneyintotheafterlife.Therearemorethanonehundredguestsinattendance,everyonewearingvariousshadesofwhiteandcream.Inwhatseemslikeminutes,theonehundredguestsgrowtowhatlookslikeathousand,withalineofpeopleformingoutsidewaitingtocomeinandfindtheirseats.
ThemagicianPóPomatchmadeyearsagojumpedattheopportunitytotakepart.Hequietlyperformsadialed-downactinthecornerofthechapelnexttothecasket.Hereachesintothearmofhisjacketandrevealsasinglewhitechrysanthemum.Hedoesthisonebyone,handingeveryoneintheroomaflower.
“PóPoreallywouldhavelovedthis,”Momwhispersnexttome.
“Iwishshecould’vebeenheretoseeit,”Iwhisperback.
Itakeinthewhitestreamersandsilverballoonsfillingupthespace.Theroomlooksmorelikeherninetieth-birthdayparty,justasshewanteditto.Iturnahardcandywithmytongue,thesugardissolvingslowly.
“Thebitternessofthedayiscounteractedwiththesweetnessofthecandy,”Auntieexplainedtomeatsomepointinthepastweek.
Isneakafewmorepiecesofcandytotrytooffsetthebitternessoflifeingeneral.It’satastygesture,butitdoesn’twork.
Hundredsofwhite,yellow,andpinklilyandchrysanthemumflowerarrangementsarelinedupinlayerssurroundingPóPo.Tothesideoftheflowersarebasketsforfoodofferings.Inthem,Ispotcontainersofrice,fruit,plastic-wrappedchicken,andpastries,giftsfromtheguestswhooffertheseediblegoodsforPóPototakewithheronherjourneyintotheafterlife.
I’vespentthepastweeklearningaboutandexecutingtraditionsthatIhadneverheardofbefore.WhileNinastuffedsmallredenvelopeswithpapermoneyandaquarter,whichwe’llgivetogueststoensuretheygethomesafelyandtospendandpassonthegoodluckandfortune,Iputtogetherwhiteenvelopesfilledwithcandythatguestscouldconsumeoncethefuneralisover.
IlookaroundatthecrowdandspotAlishaandRandall.Myheartburstsatthesightofthem.RandallspotsmefirstandnudgesAlisha.RandallgivesmeasmallwavewhileAlishamimesahug.
Thefuneraldirectorclearshisthroattocommandattentionandbreaksourgazes.HewelcomeseveryoneandreadsabriefbiographyofPóPo,knowntoeveryoneelseasJune.
Hedoesn’tmentionhercontagiouslaugh,hersharpwit,herevensharpermemory,orthelookshegivesafterhearingaboutasuccessfulmatchortastingaspicyPinotNoirbutinsteadcapturesalooseessenceofwhoshewasgenerally,akindheartedwomanwhospentherlifeintheserviceofothers.Toeveryone,shemeantsomethingdifferent.
Thefuneraldirectormovesontoreadselectedpoemsandwordsaboutmovingintotheafterworld,thespiritlifethatsoundssofaraway,sounattainable,andsoimaginary.Ihearguestsblowingtheirnosesandwipingawaytheirtearsandwatchothersstareblanklyaheadofthem.Most,though,subtlyglancelovinglyoveratPóPointheopencasket,dressedinherfavoriteoutfit,hercornflowerbluevestandwhitepolo,tolookgoodintheafterlife.
BeneathPóPoaretwoextrasetsofclothingforhertouseinthenextlife.Theseclothes,alongwiththeblanketsthatMom,Auntie,UncleRupert,Nina,andIwilldrapeoverPóPo,willkeepherwarmandprotectedonherjourneyintothespiritworld.Weapproachthecasketonebyonewithblanketinhand,slowlycoveringPóPo.
AfterMom,Uncle,andNinahavetheirmoments,mytimecomes.Iapproachthecasketslowly,fearfullyalmost,eventhoughearlierImentallypreparedmyselfforwhattoexpect.PóPo’shairhasbeenrestyledinherusualpermedcurls,andatonceIrelaxatthefamiliarsightofher.Withhermakeupandpersonalclothing,shelookslikethePóPoI’vealwaysknown.Iliftmyblanket,beingmindfultorememberthismoment,andgentlylayeritontopofNina’sblanket.
“Ifyouwanttosaysomething,now’sthetime,”Momsays.“AuntieandIwillsaysomethingattheend.”
Ilookouttowardamixoffamiliarandstrangefaces,findingcomfortknowingthatwe’reallhereforonepurpose:tohonorPóPo’smemoryandthelifesheled.Itwistthedanglingcrescentmoonaroundmyneck.
Standingwherethemagicianwasjustminutesago,Iaddressthegroup.
“JuneHuangwasanextraordinarywoman,”Istart,myvoiceshaky.“Herlegacyprovesit.Inallherstubbornness,forbetterorworse,sheownedwhoshewas.Herlifewasn’tperfectoreasy.Sheneverexpectedittobe.Buteveninhardtimes,shekeptgoing.Shepersevered.Lifewon’teverbethesamehereonearthwithouther,butitbringsmesomecomfortknowingthatshe’llbeworkinghermagicintheafterlifeandcontinuingtomakeothershappy.PóPo,weloveyou,andwemissyou.Itgoeswithoutsayingthatyou’vemadethisworldabetterplacejustbybeinginit
“Myloveforyouisfullerthanthefullestmoon,”IwhispertoPóPo,stealingonelastlookather.Tearsfallfrommyeyesontotheblanket.Theyabsorbintothecloth,littlepiecesofmetoaccompanyPóPoonherjourney.
Iliftmypinkytoherandimagineherlinkingherswithmine,ourthumbspressingtogetherinunison.IwantitsobadlythatIcanfeelthepressureagainstmythumb.
ImakeeyecontactwithMaeYí-Póinthegroupandsayoutloud,“Someonewisetaughtmethatlonglivesareworthcelebrating.Sothat’swhatwe’regoingtodo.”
IpulloutmyphoneandtapPlayonthefirstsongonmymoonplaylist.ThehighopeningjingleofKingHarvest’s“DancingintheMoonlight”floatsoutofthespeaker.
Slowlyshimmyingmyshoulderstothebeat,Iholdtwosidewayspeacesignsinfrontofmytear-filledeyesandpullthemapart.Itapmyfootandmovemybodytotherhythm.
Asthebeatpicksup,Iextendmyarmdiagonallyuptotheceilingwithadiscofingerandthenbringitdownacrossmybody.ItwirlacoupleoftimesovertoPóPo,extendingmyhandouttoherandpretendingtospinheraround.Myfamilywatcheson,momentarilystunned.
Isidestepacrosstheroombeforesalsasteppingbacktotheotherside.UncleRupertstartssnappingbutdoesn’tfullycommittothecause.EvenColette,wholovestodance,staysseated.HavingusedupallthedancemovesIknow,Imovemybodytothebeat,makingitupasIgo.
I’mdancingaloneuntilsomeonesittinginthebackstandsupandstartsswayinghisarmssidetoside,snappingtothebeat.ThemandoestheTwistaroundamusedfamilymembers,makinghiswaytothecenteroftheroom.AlleyesarenowonhimashedoestheElectricSlidebetweendanglingstreamers.
Ashegetscloser,IseethatthemandoingthemoonwalkdowntheaisleisBennett.Mybreathcatchesinmychest.Evenaftereverything,seeinghimhereismorethanIcould’vehopedfor.BennettandIdon’texchangewords.Wejustkeepdancingtothemusic,oureyeslockedononeanother.
Followingourleads,NinaandAsherfinallyjumpupandjoinus,holdingtheirhandsupintheair.Auntieshylystandsandwigglesherhips.DadholdshishandoutforMomandtwirlsherinplace.MaeYí-PóandDaleYí-Gongpumptheirarmsupanddownenthusiastically,encouragingotherstocelebratewithus.
BeforeIknowit,theentireroomisupanddancing.Smilesformoneveryone’sfaces.Somepeopleevensingalong.
Whereversheis,IknowPóPoissmilinganddancingrightalongwithus.Chapter23
Whentheserviceconcludes,IsearchforBennettamongfacesIbothrecognizeanddon’t.Iwindthroughthecrowd,hopingtofindatoweringmaninawhitecashmeresweater.
Anolderwomaninavanilla-coloredvelvetshawlgentlyplacesherhandonmyarm.“IwantedtosayhowverysorryIamaboutyourgrandmother.IwasoneofJune’sclientsbackintheday,”thestrangersays.
“Thankyouforbeinghere,”Ireply,distracted.
“Mygranddaughter’sherewithme.Tiff!”thewomancallsout,slowlyliftingherarmtowaveayoungerwomanovertous.Ilookpastthewoman’sshouldertoseeifBennett’sbehindher.
“Hi,I’mTiff.You’reOlivia,right?”Tiffasksinanexcitedtone.
I’mtoodeterminedtofindBennetttopaymuchattentiontothewomeninfrontofme.“Iam,yes.”
“Yourgrandmotherwasalegend.I’msorryforyourloss,”Tiffsays.
“Iappreciatethat,”Isay,growingantsy.“Itwasnicetomeetyouboth.”
“Olivia!Beforeyougo,”Tiffsays.“CouldIgiveyoumycard?IwritefortheLATimes,andI’dlovetodoaprofileofyouandyourgrandmother,andIbelieveyouraunt?LunarLoveisageminLA.Ihaven’tfoundanyin-depthpiecesaboutyourbusiness.Sorrytobringupworkrightnow,butIthinkLunarLove’sstorydeservestobetold.”
Irefocusonthewomaninfrontofme.“Wow,yes.Ofcourse.Thankyou,”Isay,caughtoffguardbytheoffer.Ituckhercardintomytote.“Sorryforbeingsooutofitrightnow,butI’dlovetosharePóPo’sstory.”
Isaygoodbyeandcontinuemysearch.Withnoluckinside,Iwalkoutsideintothechillyeveningair.Underlitpathways,guestsgatherandreunite.Theydiscusswhatashameitistohavefallenoutoftouchwithoneanotherandhowwonderfulitistoseeoneanotheragainafteralltheseyears.PóPoalwayslovedbringingpeopletogether,nomattertheoccasion.
Forafewminutes,Istandsilentlylookingoutoverthedark,sprawling,green-slopedlawninthecemetery.Rowsofneatroundhedgeslinetheman-madepaths.Mountainssurroundtheland,servingasapeacefulbackdropinthisfinalrestingplace.
ImissPóPosomuchthatmyentirebodyfeelsnumb.IremindmyselfwhatMaeYí-Pósaidaboutbeingconnectedtofamilyinadifferentwaywhentheypass.I’ddoanythingtostaylinkedwithPóPo.
WhenIhavenoluckfindingBennett,Ifollowthepatharoundthebuildingtoagrassypatchforthenextpartoftheceremony.Thecontainersoffoodofferingshavebeenbroughtoutside,alongwithdozensoffinelycraftedpaperobjects.
IspotAuntiehoveringonthesideofthegroupandsettleinnexttoher.Momentslater,someoneelsewalksupandfindshisplacenexttome.
“Hey,”Bennettwhispers.
Iturnandgasp,surprisedtoseehimstandinginfrontofme.“Hi,”Iwhisperback.
Mommovestothefronttofacethegroup,positioningherselfnexttoalargeredenamelburnbucket.“ThankyouforjoiningusaswesendgoodstoPóPointheafterlife,”Momstarts.“Sheleftuswithalistofveryspecificitemsshewanted.”
Therearemanyknowingchucklesfromthecrowd.
“ClassicJune!”someoneinthecrowdyells,drawingmorelaughsfromthegroup.
“InChineseculture,it’sunluckytoarriveempty-handedintheafterlife,”Auntieexplains,elaboratingonhertrainingsfromthepastweek.ShenodshellotoBennett.
“Unlucky?”Bennettrepeats.
“Familiesburnjosspaperandpaperfuneralofferingscraftedtolooklikeandrepresentitemsthattheirlovedonesmightneedinthespiritworld:ahouse,car,money,clothes,aMahjongkit,atelevision,andachesttoholdtheirmoneyandbelongings.”
“So,thingsyouhadonearth,”Isayinunderstanding.
“Somepeopleeventhrowinajetplanefortheirancestors.Thesky’sthelimit,dependingonwhatyoucanaffordtobuyorhavemade.”
“Thosepaperofferingslooksoreal,”Bennettobserves.
“It’showwetakecareofourancestors.Theitemsmustbeburnedsotheycanmakeittotheirfinaldestinationintheotherworldandbeusedbytherecipient,”Auntiesays.
BennettandIlistenclosely,soakinginthetraditionwe’reabouttowitness.I’msurprisedthathedidn’tknowaboutthiscustom,either.Thisbitofknowledgeabouthimisoddlyreassuring.We’relearningtogether.
“Intheafterlife,youcangivethedeceasedalifetheynevergottolive,”Auntieadds.“It’sawayofprovidingcomfort.”
“I’mrelievedknowingthatPóPo’snextchapterisonlyjustbeginning,andthatit’llbeacomfortableone,”Isay.Partofmewondersifshe’llbereunitedwithGōngGongintheafterlife.
Auntienods.“Andthensome.YouwantGuccishoesbutneverhadtheabilitytoaffordthemhereonearth?Wecanofferupapairduringtheceremony.Ofcoursethat’sanextremeexample.Firstthingsfirst,weneedtomakesurePóPohasthenecessities.”
“That’swild,butIalsokindofloveit,”Isay,lookingupatBennett.Ineverthoughttherewouldbeanicewaytomoveforwardintodeath.Whentherearedesignerloafersinvolved,maybetheafterlifeisn’tsobad.
“Thepointistokeepourfamilyhappy,”Auntieexplains.
“Doesthisonlyhappenatfunerals?”Iask.
“Thistraditionisintegratedintodifferentholidaysthroughouttheyear,butalsoonbirthdaysandspecialoccasions.It’suptoyou,”shesays,givingmeasmallsmilebeforejoiningMomandUncleRupertatthefront.Togethertheymovethevariouspaperobjectsintothebucket.SomewhereamongthepileofgoodsismycontributionofhandwrittennotessothatPóPowouldhavemywordstokeephercompany.Ialsodecidedtosneakinsomecopiesofclientprofilessoshecoulddowhatshedoesbest:matchmake.
I’mentrancedbyhowintricateeachitemis,theirbrightcolorsandcarefulconstructiononthevergeofbeing…setonfire.
“Thisishowwestayconnected,”Isayoutloudtomyself.RealizationdawnsthatthisismywaybacktoPóPo.She’sonlyafireaway.
Upfront,Ninapointsoutvariousobjects.“Ayacht?”sheasks.“DoesPóPoevenknowhowtooperateaboat?”
“That’swhattheshipcaptainisfor,”Auntieclarifies.“Wecan’tforgettoaddawinecellarandasommelier.Shemaynothavehadthoseluxuriesinthislife,butinthenextone,shecan.”AuntieandMomshareasmalllaugh.
“There’sadiscoballinthere,”IinformBennett,noddingtowardthebucketupfront.“Iwonderwhatdancingintheafterlifefeelslike.”
“Lessjointpainprobably,”Bennettsays,hiscrookedsmileappearing.HowI’vemissedthatsmile.
Ourfacesglowastheobjectsgoupinflames,theyellowandorangeflickersdancingagainsttheink-blacknightsky.Wewatchinsilenceasthepaperfuneralofferingsaretransformedintosmoke,aformthatescapesthenaturalworld.
Aroundme,peoplesoftlysayprayerswhiletheitemsburn.SmokystrandsofPóPo’snewpaperhouse,bottlesofwine,money,food,andclothingfloatupintotheair,swirlingandspinningaboveourheads.I’movercomewithemotion,butthistime,it’swithhope.Thistradition,theactofhonoringancestorsandspirits,isaforeignconcepttome,butIfindmorecomfortinitthanIwould’vethoughtpossible.
Myeyesfillwithtears,thistimehappyones.ThelasttimeIfeltthismovedwaswithBennettattheGetty.Ipeekoverathim,andhelooksjustasenthralled.Hemustsensemewatchinghimbecausehiseyesdartovertome.
“I’veneverseenanythinglikethis,”hesaysquietly.“Sothepaperisburned…butthenwhereexactlydoesitgo?”Heglancestowardthepapergoods,hiseyebrowsbentininterestanddeterminationtofigureitout.
“Toourancestorsintheafterlife,”Isay,repeatingwhatI’velearnedfromAuntie.IcanseehowhardBennettistryingtovisualizethisconcept.
“Howdoyouknowiftheyhaveeverythingtheyneed?Howdotheyreceivetheactualgoods?”heasks.“Whereistheafterlife,even?”
Igivehimasmallsmile.“It’saboutbelieving.Idon’tthinkthereareclear-cutanswers.It’skindoflikealeapoffaith.”
Afteramoment,Bennettnodsandthenreachesforhiswallet.Frombehindafewdollarbills,herevealsasmallreceipt.OnitarethewordsLeadwithyourheartwritteninPóPo’shandwriting.
“What’sthat?”Iwhisper.
“It’sfrommyfirstlunchmeetingwithyourPóPo.AfterIpaid,shewrotethisdown.I’vekeptitwithmeeversince,butherwordsdidn’tfullysinkinuntilyoutaughtthemtome,”hesays.Bennettsmilesandlooksatthereceiptthoughtfullybeforefoldingtherectangularslipofpaperintoaminiicecreamcone.Hewalksuptothefrontanddropsthepapericecreamintotheflames.
Iblinkmytearsawaywhenhereturnstome.
“Ihopeherhousecomeswithafreezer,”hesays,nudgingmewithhisshoulder.Isoakuphispresence,observinghisexpressionashewatchesthefireworkitsmagic.
“Hey.TonightmyfamilyandIaremakingdinnertogetherinhonorofPóPo.I’dlikeforyoutobethere,andIthinkPóPowould’ve,too.Ofcourse,onlyifyouwantto.”
Bennettdoesn’teventrytofightthesmilethatimmediatelyformsonhisface.“There’snowhereelseI’dratherbe,”hesays.
There’ssomuchIwanttosaytoBennett,butfornow,ourquietunderstandingisenough.Chapter24
I’mwrist-deepinflourwhenBennettarrivesatmyparents’house.
“Bennett,it’snicetoseeyouagain,”Momsaysintheentrywaybeforeleadinghimintothekitchen.Whenoureyesmeet,histenseshouldersdropthreeinches.
“YoucanhelpOliviawiththedough,”Mominstructs.“Haveyouevermadedumplingsbefore?”
Bennettdropshisbagonachairandrollsuphissleeves.“Onlyonce,butthatwasalongtimeago,”hesays.
“I’llshowyouhowtodoit,perPóPo’sinstructions,”Ioffer,usingmypalmtorollasmallpieceofdoughagainsttheflouredtable.Iflattenthedoughwitharollingpin,turningituntilthewrapperisroundandthin.
“I’llfollowyourlead,”hesayswithoutanyresistance.Bennettwatchesmeintently,mimickingmymovementswithinvisibledough.
“Nohighlyratedrecipeupyoursleeve?”Iaskgood-naturedly.
Hesmiles.“Iwouldn’tstandachanceagainstyourPóPo.”
Icutthedoughinhalfandhandhimhispiecetodivideandrollintowrappers.WeworkdiligentlyasMomcutsscallions,Ninamincesgarlic,Ashermeasuressauces,Dadchopsginger,andAuntieprepsingredientsforthesidedishes.DadthrowsBennettsoftballquestionsasIfocusonmyrollingandbreathingtosteadymyhandsandhammeringheart.Bennettmovessurprisinglyfast,lookingasthoughhe’slovingeveryminute.
Overonehundredrolledwrapperslater,Bennettcoversourhardworkwithadamptowel.Hebeamsatwhatwe’vecreatedtogether.
“We’lltakeitfromhere,”Momsays.“We’lleatinanhour.Nicework,bothofyou.Olivia,you’regettingasfastasPóPo.”Ibaskinherwords.Bennettdoes,too.
“Youcancomewithme,”IsaytoBennettafterwewashflouroffourhands.Hefollowsmeuptothesecondfloor,outthedeck,anduptotheroof.
“Shouldwebeuphere?”heasks,crouchinglowashemimicsmymovementsuntilwereachaflatsectionwhereI’vesetupablanketforustosit.
Ipatthegroundnexttome,andBennettdoesn’tobject.
“Hi,”Isayinanexhale.
“Hi,”hesays.
“Thankyouforcomingtothefuneral.Andforthecomfortfood.”Ithinkforamoment.“Youdanced.Inpublic.”
“Itwasmyhonor,”hesays.“Thanksforcomingtothepitch.”
“IwishIcould’vestayedlonger.”
“Whenyousawmeonstagestumblingovermywords,allIcouldthinkaboutwasyouandifyouwouldeverforgiveme.Yousavedmefrommakingafoolofmyself.MywordsonlycameoutclearlybecauseIimaginedthatIwasonlytalkingtoyou.”
“Youspokefromtheheart,”Isay.
“I’mnotsogoodatthat,”hesays,gentlynudgingmewithhiselbow.
“It’sastart.”Ibitemylip.“Itsoundedlikeyouspokefromtheheartonthepodcast,too.”
Bennettliftshisshouldersupinahalfshrug.“ItoldthemIdidn’twanttodoitanymoreandtoreplacemewithyou,buttheysaidthatifIwasn’tgoingtodoit,neitherofuswould.SoIfiguredI’dusetheplatformtotalkaboutLunarLove.Ihopethatwasokay.”Hesighs.“Andfortherecord,ImeantwhatIsaid.”
“Youwerethewinner,soitwasrightforyoutobeonit,”Isay.
“Iwasthewinner?”Bennettaskscuriously.“Thatcan’tbeeasyforyoutosay.”
Idipmyhead.“Youwereaformidableopponent,I’lladmit.”
Heholdsuphisphone.“Sothiswastruethen?”
OnhisphoneismysecondWhizDasharticle.WhenIsentittoAlisha’sfriendlastweek,Ipromisedherthreemonthsoffreematchmakingservicesifshecouldexpeditepostingit.Luckilyforme,she’sstillTeamLunarLoveandwasopentotryingsomethingnew.
Inmylastlist,IwroteaboutallthethingsthatZodiaCupidwasn’t.Turnsout,theonlyonewithanidentitycrisishere…isme.InsteadoffiguringoutwhoIamorwhatIwanttobe,Iprojectedmyinsecuritiesontoadigitalapp.Truthis,throughtheappIbashed,Imetsomeonegreat.
Hereadsalinefromitoutloud.“ThisHorsefellinlovewithanincompatiblematchbyaccident,butitturnedouttobethebestthingforher.”Hiseyesflashupatme.“Doyoumeanit?”
Myeyesflickfromhisphonetohiseyes.“Everyword.”
Hisfacelightsup.“Well,thisRatfellinlovewithaHorse,butIdon’tthinkwe’remismatched.”
Heatrisesinmychest.“Asmuchasitshocksmetosay,wedidmatchontheappsoIguessyoureallytechnicallydidwin.”
“That’stechnicallytrue,”Bennettsayshappily.
“Eventhoughwe’rethesignsthatweare,”Isay.
Bennettlaughs.“Right!So,ifIrecallcorrectly,yourevaluationofmebeingaRatisthatI’mafreeloader,afraidofrejection,dishonest,andmisleading?”hesays,throwingthewordsIdirectedathimattheHalloweenpartybackatme.
Icringehearingthosewordsagain.“No.Becauseyou’reresourceful,ambitious,easytogetalongwith,andcaring.You’reagoodlistener,haveagreatsenseofhumor,andhaveakindheart.AndI…I’msorry,”Isay,stretchingoutthewords.
“Wemayhavedifferentapproachestolife,butIthinkthatcanbeagoodthing,”Bennettsays.
IreachouttograbBennett’shand.“Eventhoughwe’reincompatibleaccordingtotheChinesezodiac,I’veneverfeltmoremyselfthanwhenI’mwithyou.Andlife’stooshortnottobewithsomeoneyoufeelmostyourselfwith.”
Bennettclaspsmyhandinreturnandscootsclosertomeontheblanket.“You’renottheonlyonewhofeelsthatway.You’vemademeabetterversionofmyself.”
“It’ssafetosaythatyou’vebeenslightlyinfluentialonme,too,”Iadmit.
Bennettpullsmecloser.“IhopeyoubelievethatInevertriedtoputLunarLoveoutofbusiness.Imaynotcompletelychangeyourmindaboutcompatibility,butIhopeIcanattheveryleastchangeyourmindaboutme.”
Itakeadeepbreath.“Icanseeitnow.Myneedforadventurewillbalancenicelywithyourintellectualpursuits.Yourflexibilityandforthrightnesswillhelpcounteractmystubbornness,which,let’sbehonest,Ineed.You’llrespectthatIcravemyindependencewhileI’llappreciate,afterlearningovertime,thatbeingtogethercanbejustasfulfilling.”
“I’lldomybest,butIlikehowindependentyouare,”Bennettwhispers,leaninghisforeheadagainstmine.
Thenearnessofhisfacetominealmostderailsmytrainofthought,butIpushon,consideringtheotherwaysBennettmighthelpbalanceme.“SometimesI’llwantcontrol,sometimesyouwill,butthenaturalleadersinuswillvaluethatwe’reinanequalpartnershipwhereoneofusisn’tjustfollowingtheother.Andsinceweboth,forthemostpart,knoweachother’straits,wecanworkoncompromiseandcometogetherfromaplaceofunderstanding.”
Bennettlooksimpressed.“Youforgotonething.”
Ilookathimwithskepticaleyes.“What?”
Heholdsmyhandagainsthischest.“Mydata-drivenmindsetwillalwaysbebalancedbyyourheart.”
Ishakemyhead.“Youhavemoreheartthanyouthink.There’snodoubtwebothneedcontrol.Forme,it’swhogetstobematchedtogether.Foryou,itwasinyourapproachtohowthosematcheshappened.Isocloselyfollowpredeterminedrulesformyselfandothers.”
“Maybeloveisn’tsomethingthatcanbecontrolledtothelevelweweretryingtomanageit,”Bennettsays.“It’snotsomethingwhereeitherofuscanguaranteeanoutcome.Formostofmylife,Ineededtobeabletotakecharge.But,Olivia,youmakemewanttolosecontrol,gowithmygut,deletethespreadsheet,andtaketherisk.”
Ismile,myheartoverflowingwithemotion.“Ihavesomethingforyou,”Isay,reachingforametalbucketIcoveredinatowelearliertoday.
Bennettpeeksovermylegs.“Whatisit?”
“Ithoughtitcouldbenicetodoourownjosspaperburning,”Isay,bringingoutanenvelopefromundermysideoftheblanket.
Hiseyebrowsknittogetherinconfusion.“DoyouhavemoreitemstosendtoyourPóPo?”heasks.
“Foryourmom,”Isay,handingBennetttheenvelope.
Hedelicatelyholdstheenvelopebetweenhishandsandpullsoutastackofpapers.
“Whatarethese?”hesays,readingthewritingonthepaper.Afterafewseconds,understandingsettlesonhisface
“They’reyourparents’LunarLovefiles,”Iexplain.“TheyincludethenotesPóPotookwhenshematchedyourmomanddad.”
Bennett’seyesglisten.“Idon’tknowwhattosay,”hesays,fallingquiet.“Ithoughtaboutmymomalottoday.Inmymind,she’sforeverthisbrilliantpersonwhonevermissedabedtimereading,alwaysatethefrostingfirst,andtaughtmehowtodance.Thesedetailsmakeherfeelrealagain.”
“It’sthebestmatchLunarLoveevermade,”Iadmit.
Bennettflipsthroughthepages,absorbingeverylastdetail.
Iliftthetowelfromthebucketandrevealanassortmentofsmallpapergoods.“Iwasabletotrackdownapapershoptoday.IfoundaguywhomakesthemostbeautifulpaperitemsI’veeverseen.Itookthelibertyofpickingupsomenecessitiesforyourmom.”
Bennettgentlyliftsoutapaperhouse,clothing,money,shoes,andfood.“Youevenincludedlittlepaperjournalsandpens,”hesays,surprised.
“Forhertowriteaboutherexperiences,”Isay.“I’msureshehasmoregreatstoriestotell.”Ihandhimafoldedpieceofpaper.“I’dalsoliketoaddthis,ifthat’sokaywithyou.”
Hetakesthepaperfrommecautiously.“What’sthis?”
“It’salettertoher,fromme.I’dloveforhertoknowhowincrediblehersonis,andhowproudshe’dbeofwhoyouare.”
AteartrailsdownBennett’scheek.“Thisis…thankyou,”hesays,wrappinghisarmsaroundmeandpullingmecloser.
Ihughimback,breathinghimin.
“Thismeanseverything,”headds,placingtheitemsbackinthebucketandslidingmyletterinwithit.“Thesefiles.Icanburnthem,too?”
Inod.“Istillhavetheoriginalsforyou.Whenyourmomreceivesthese,maybeshe’llthinktofindPóPo.Thenthey’llhaveeachotherintheafterlife.”
Bennettplacesthefilesinthebucketandgrabsthematchboxfromme.Withjustonestrike,thematchcracklesintoasmallflame.Hedropsitintothebucketandwatchesasthepapergoodsfueltheflames,theblazegrowinginheightandheat.
ShadowsonBennett’sfacedancetotheflickerofthegoldensparks.Inestleintohimwhilethesmokerisesup,disappearingintothenight.Whenheturnstofaceme,hishazeleyeshaveintensified.Allsenseoftimedisappearsaswelookateachother.It’sasthoughwe’rereallyseeingeachother,notforourjobsorforoursigns,butforwhowearewithoutallthat.ItfeelslikeI’mseeinghim,seeingmyself,fortheveryfirsttime.
Hisfacerelaxesintoadimpledsmile.“IfIdidn’tmakeitclearenoughbefore,Iloveyou.”
Awidesmilespreadsacrossmyface.“Iloveyou,too.”
Weslowlyleancloserintoeachotheruntilthere’snospaceleftbetweenus.IpullhisarmaroundmetighterasIwrapmyarmaroundhisshoulders.Itiltmyheadback,waitingforhislipstoreachmine.Underthewaningcrescentsliverofthemoonandthenavyskysparinglydottedwithstars,weabandonourfearsandinsecurities,holdeachothertightly,andembracebeingcompatiblyincompatible.Chapter25
Threemonthslater
Easyontheflour,doughboy,”IsayplayfullyasBennettrollsriceflourdoughintolittleballsonawoodencuttingboard.
“Hey!Ihavefeelings,”hesayswithamock-serioustone.“Iwantthesericedumplingstobeperfect.AuntieLydiawillneverapproveofmeifIcan’tgettāngyuánright.”
Inodinagreement.“Theyareherspecialty.Bettertobesafethansorry.”Iscoopanotherspoonfulofflourontotheboard.
“Okay,yougogettheotherdessertsready,”Bennettinstructs,gentlynudgingmeoutofthekitchenwithhiselbows.“Clearly,I’mtheexperthere.”
“Youdon’tneedmyhelp?Iknowyoulikefollowingthestepstogether.”
“I’mcoolwithdoingtheseonmyown.Igotthis.”
“Okay,”Isayuncertainly.“Ifyou’resure?”
Bennettflashesmeacrookedsmilemeantonlyformetosee.“I’llmeetupwithyououtsideonceI’mdonefillingthese.”
Ismileback,afeelingoffreedomanddeepconnectionswellingintomeatonce.Iholdmyflouredhandsupinsurrender.“Fine!You’reonyourown!”
Momwalksintothekitchenwithatablecloth.“Olivia!Taketheseout,willyou?”shesays.“Forthedesserttable.”
DadlugsinaboxfilledwithExtraServingPlateswrittenontheside.“Idon’tknowwhatwehaveupinthatattic,butthisisthelasttimeI’llevergoupthere.IswearIheardthepitter-patteroftinyfeet.”
“DamnRats,”Bennettsayswithdramaticmockirritation,hiseyessparklingattheirony.
Momliftsthelidopenandtakesapeekin.“Atleastthey’renotbroken.”
Dadsighs.“GuessI’llhavethehonorofcleaningtheselater,”hesays.
Momslapsapairofpurplerubberglovesagainsthischest.“You’llneedthese.”
“Bennett,thosearelookinglovely!”Auntiesaysasshebreezesthroughthekitchen.Shegivesthedoughasoftsqueeze.“Verynice.”
Bennettstandsupstraighterwithprideashefoldsthedougharoundblacksesameseedfilling.
“Lydia,areyouwearingperfume?”Momasksteasingly.
Auntieblotshermatteredlipswithatissue.“Waltwillbeheresoon.HowdoIlook?Oh,nevermind.IknowIlookfabulous,”shesays,saunteringoutoftheroom.
OnceAuntiedidn’thavemymatchtoworryabout,shequicklyresumedherownsearchforamanworthyofherlove.AlishafoundWaltintheLunarLovedatabase.Turnsout,hehadbeenthereallalong,too.
Thedoorbellrings,andMomslipsoffheraprontoanswerthedoor.
“Xīnniánkuàilè!”twovoicesboomfromthefrontentryway.Randallandhishusband,Jonathan,passthroughthelivingroomcarryingtraysofsweetsandRandall’sspecialpeanutsnack.
“HappyLunarNewYear!”Irepeatbacktothem.
“Olivia!It’sbeenforever,”Jonathancallsout.Hesetshistraydownandgreetsmewithabighug.
Secondslater,IspotMaeYí-PóandDaleYí-Gongslippingtheirshoesoffatthefrontdoor.
Igrabthetablecloth,Randall’sbowlsofpeanuts,andmylatestbakingcreation,aYearoftheOx–shapedIncompatibilityCake,andheadoutsidetothebackyard.
Paperlanternsintheshapesofaccordions,horses,andfishdanglebetweenthetrees.ThemoonballoonsfromNina’sCookieDayaresurprisinglystillfloating,soweplacedthembythebackdoortogivethemasecondlife.
Iflingthetableclothoverthedesserttableandarrangethebowlsofmelonsandpears,platesofsweets,andpotsofteasoeverythinglookspresentable.
“IjusthadalittlechatwithBennett,”Ninasays,sidlingupbesideme.Sheplacesatrayoftwochickendishes,hotandsoursoup,andhomemadedumplingsontothetable.
“And?”
“He’sgreat.Listeningtomepaidoff,huh?”shesayswithanall-knowinglookonherface.Shelaysoutthespoonsandforksandexaminesmyfoodarrangement.Shepushesateapotoneinchbackandlookssatisfied.
“Don’tgetusedtoit,”Isayplayfully.
Ashercallsout,andweseehimstrugglingtostartafireinthefirepit.
“Notagain,”Ninasays,runningovertohelp.
“Letmeknowifyouneedhelpfindingthespark!”Icalloutafterher.“It’showImakethebigbucks!”
Throughtheglasswindows,IseeBennettandDadlaughingaboutsomething.IspotZodiaCupidteammemberschattingwiththeLunarLoveteamonthebackpatio.
Auntiemakesherwayovertomewithabowlofgreenbeans.“Areyouready?”sheasks.
“Morethanready,”Isay,takingthedishfromherandplacingitnexttotherestofthefood.
“I’mproudofyou,Liv.I’mstilltryingtowrapmymindaroundthechanges.Andlearninghowtoletgo.Whateveryouchoosetodolong-term,youwillalwayshavemyfullsupport,”Auntiesaysemotionally.
“Thankyou.”
Shepicksupatangerinefromapyramidoffruit,tossesitbackandforthbetweenherhands,andlooksaroundattheguests.“Itwasagoodideaonlylimitingthisyear’sfestivitiestoclosefamilyandfriends.We’vehadenoughbigeventsfortheyear.”
“It’sbeennonstop,hasn’tit?”Ireflect.“TheLATimesandElLayDailyarticleswerethecherriesontop.”
“TheLATimesprofilewasbeautiful.PóPowould’vebeenshockedbyhowmuchattentionitreceived,”Auntiereflects.
“ItmeantLunarLoveandherlegacywillliveon.”
Auntieplacesthetangerinebackontopofthepileandwinks.“Wouldyouhavethoughtfourmonthsagowe’dbothhaveboyfriends?”sheasks.
“Neverinmywildestdreams,”Isaywithalaugh.
“Onewayoranother,wehadtogetyoumatched!”Auntiesaysmischievously.
“Andyou,apparently!”Isay.
AuntiethrowsherheadbackinlaughterbeforeheadingbacktothehousetogreetWalt.ShewavestoColette,whohasarrivedbearingaboxofwhatmustbemorebakedgoods.Overthelastfewmonths,wereconnected,catchinguponthepastthreeyears.Ididn’tfullyrealizehowmuchImissedheruntilshewasbackinmylife.
“I’vemissedyourfamily’sLunarNewYearparties,”shesays.“Mymomcan’tbebotheredtothrowonetogether.”
Itakethepastryboxfromherandslideitbetweentwootherplatesoffood.“Whereisshenow?”
“Whoknows?ProbablyoffonayachtsomewhereintheFrenchRiviera,”shesighs.“Bennettsaidhe’llbeoutsoon.I’mgladyoufoundagoodone.He’snothinglikethelastoneswedated.”Colettenudgesme,andwelaugh.
“No.Definitelynot,”Iagreewithashakeofmyhead.
Oncethefoodanddecorationsaresetupandalltheguestshavearrived,Itapmyteacuptogeteveryone’sattention.Istandtothesideofthefirepitandfeelthewarmthfromtheflames.Bennettjoinsmeaswefaceourgroupoffriendsandfamily.
“Thankyou,everyone,forjoiningustonight.Itmeansalotthatwecancelebratetogether.It’sfitting,consideringthisholidaycelebratesnewbeginningsandintentions,bothofwhichwehavealotof.”Afewpeopleinthegroupchuckle.“Thisyear’sLunarNewYearlooksabit…smaller…thanotheryears,butevenaftereverything,wewantedtomakesurewecelebrated.Manyofyoudidn’thavethechancetomeetPóPo,butIknowshewould’velovedallofyou.”Ilookupatthenightskyandraisemyteacup.“Tonight,wecelebrateherandthestartofnewtraditions.”
Everyoneliftstheirteacupinunison,andwealltakesipsofourtea.
“There’salsosomethingwewantedtosharewithyoufirst,thoughmostofyoualreadyknow.It’snotpublicyetsodon’ttweetaboutitoranything,”Bennettjokes.“Wewereecstatictoreceivefundingfromacoupleofinvestors,butwewereevenmoreflooredwhentheygotonboardwithoursecondpitchforaLunarLoveandZodiaCupidmerger.”
IlookintothegrouptofindAlishaandRandall’sfaces.Theygivemethumbs-upsigns.Bennett’steamcheersandwhoops.EvenElmer,whoactuallyisaniceguyonceIgottoknowhim,looksexcited.
“We’reoverthemoonthat,startingMonday,LunarLoveandZodiaCupidwillbesharingthesameorbit,”Iannounce.
“Hopefully,togetherwecanseeaboostacrossbothplatforms,”Bennettadds.“EspeciallysinceValentine’sDayisrightaroundthecorner.”
“It’samergingoftraditionandmodernity.It’snotallornothing,”Isay,thinkingofPóPo.“There’sroomforbothofus.Andthere’sroomforadapting.”
Inthegroup,IlocateHarperandParker,theoriginalLunarLoveandZodiaCupidcollaborationbeforeitwasofficial.Theirsignsandascendantsweren’tcompatibleaccordingtotheChinesezodiac,butbasedonmyevaluationoftheirtraits,wepairedthemuptoseewhatwouldhappen.Threemonthslaterandthey’restillgoingstrong.
“Sometimestraditionscanbereinterpreted,butthatdoesn’tmeantheygoawaycompletely,”Isay.“Wethinkthisroutecouldhelpusbringsomethingwe’repassionateaboutintothemodernday.LunarLovewillhaveamoreupdateddatabase,inasense,whilebeingabletousedatatoassistwithourin-personmatchmaking.”
Ourfriendsandfamilyexcitedlyclapandraisetheirdrinks.
Iholdmyteacupup.“Thanksforcomingalongwithusonthisjourney.It’sbeenawildridesofar.”
Afterourannouncement,Bennettfindsmestandingalonebythedesserttable.Hecomesbearingabowlofricedumplingsinwarmwater.
“Imadetheseespeciallyforyou,”hesays,handingmethebowl.
“What’dyouputinit?”Iasksuspiciously.Iliftariceballtomynosewiththespoonandsniffit.
Helaughs.“Justmylove.”
Itakeabite,thewarmblacksesameseedfillingrunningintomymouth.“Thisisgood.”
“Excellent.Ihaveaonehundredpercentsuccessratesofarthen,”hegloats,kissingthetopofmyheadasIleanintohim.“What’sthatsupposedtobe?”Henodstowardthecakeonthetable.
“It’sanIncompatibilityCake.TheOx’shornsgotabittricky,”Iexplain
“Ihopeit’snotredvelvet,”hejokes.
“It’smadewithEarlGreyandbeet.Flavorsyouwouldn’ttypicallyexpecttoworkwelltogetherbutactuallydo.”Iuseaknifetocutintothemiddleofthecakeandaddslicestoourplates.“Imadeitforyou.”
Atthesametime,wedigintothecake.Iscrapethefrostingoff,carefulnottodisruptthecakebeneathit.Meanwhile,Bennettcutsinvertically,scoopingupanevenratioofthecakeandfrosting.
Bennettgivesmeanoddlook.“Frostingfirst?”heasks.
“Thisismetryingtoseethingsfromyourperspective,”Isay.
“Likewise,”hesays.
Wetakeourbites.Bennettshakeshishead.“Thisisstrangelydelicious.Theseflavors…”
“They’reaperfectmatch,”Isay,finishinghissentence.
Bennettsmiles,andmyhearttumblesandturns,evenafterallthesemonths.
“Ithinkthatwentwell?”Iask.
“Very.This’llbefun.”
“Oracompletedisaster.”
“Maybethisismywayofinfiltratingyourbusinessnow,”Bennettsayswithaconspiratorialtone.“Oratleasttostopyoufrompoachingpeopleoffmyplatform.”
“Wemaybepartnering,butthemagicofLunarLovecan’tbereplicated,”Iinformhim.
Bennettsqueezesmetighter.“Ithinkwehavewhatittakestomakethiswork.”
“Justkeepyourhandsoffmybuns,andwewon’thaveaproblem.”Ieatanotherspoonfuloffrosting.“So,doyouhappentoknowwhattimeyouwereborn?”Iaskcasually.
“Iwaswonderinghowlongitwouldtakeyoutoaskmethat.Doyouevenknowyours?”Bennettasks,polishingoffthelastofhiscakeslice.
“OfcourseIdo.YearoftheHorse,birthhouroftheHorse.”
Bennettlaughs.“Ishould’veknown.You’reaHorsethroughandthrough.”
Ilookupathimandwait.“So?Whataboutyou?”
“Youwantthetruth?Idon’tknowwhattimeIwasborn.”
“Can’tyoufindyourbirthrecordorsomething?Therearewaystofindout,”Isay.
“Isn’titkindofromanticnotknowing?”Bennettasks,wrappinghisarmsaroundme.
Ileanmyheadintohisshoulder.“That’sonewordforit.”
Bennettwiggleshisfingersplayfully.“Secretive.Mysterious.Ooh.”
“Youjoke,butthisisourlivelihoodandcultureandrelationship,”Isayteasingly,turningtofacehim.
Bennettshakeshishead.“I’mjustleavingroomformagic!”hesaysplayfully.
“Okay,okay!”Ilaugh.“Justkissme.”ItugBennett’shairtenderlytobringhimclosertomeandgivehimadeep,hardkiss.
Maybethereisbeautyinopeningyourselfuptotheloveyoudon’texpectandthetraitsthatwillkeepyouguessing.Becausecompatibleorincompatible,we’realljusttryingtoloveandbeloved,howeverthatmightlook.
WelookupintothedarkFebruarysky,ourattentionspulledtowardtheglowofthejade-whitemoon.Themoonispracticallyinvisibleinitswaxingcrescentphase,itsouteredgeathinpearlyglimmershiningagainstthestars.Newloveabarelytherewhisperinthenightsky.
Asamatchmaker,I’mconstantlylearning.Mymostrecentlesson:loveismostlylikethemoon.Whereasthemoonandallitsphasesarepredictable,loveisnot.WhereIoncethoughtIcouldpredicthowmyrelationshipswouldturnout,Inowrealizethatwasasfoolishastryingtokeepthetidesfromrisingandfalling.
Intheend,gravityalwaysfindsus,bringingusrightbackwherewebelong.Acknowledgments
Ifyou’veskippedaheadtoreadtheacknowledgmentsfirst,I’mrighttherewithyou,andIhopeyouenjoythebook.Ifyou’vealreadyreadthisbook,thanksforreadingandforstickingarounduntiltheveryend.
Theveryfactthatthesewordsexistinbookformisincrediblymeaningful.Igrewupreading,watching,andlovingromanticcomedies,evenwhentheheroinesandleadingladieslookednothinglikeme.Beingmixed-raceChineseAmerican,IrarelyreadaboutorsawcharacterswhoIcouldrelateto.Puttingmixedcharactersintotheforefronthasalwaysbeen,andwillalwaysbe,importanttome.
Thankyoutomyagent,AnnLeslieTuttle,forseeingthepromiseandpotentialofthisstoryandforhelpingmetakeittonewheights.Thankyoutomyeditor,AlexLogan,forchampioningthisstory’sheartandpurposeandforsupportingOliviaandBennettandthebook’sunderlyingthemes.Thankyoutomyfilmagent,MaryPender,forbeinganearlybelieverandsupporterofthisstoryevenbeforeeditscameback.Iamendlesslygratefultoyouall.
ThankyoutoEstelleHallick,DanielaMedina,AbbyReilly,DanaCuadrado,SabrinaFlemming,AmbriahUnderwood,GraceFischetti,theproductionteam,thesalesreps,andeveryoneonTeamForever.It’sathrilltojointheForeverfamily.
It’semotionalformetoseeamixed-raceillustratedcharacteronthecoverofabook.Thankyou,SandraChiu,forcapturingOlivia’sspiritandmakingthiscoverlooklikeapieceofart.ThankyoualsotoRosemaryGongandEugeneMoyforyourencouragementinthisjourney.
Totheauthorswhorepliedtomycoldemails,metforcoffee,pickedupmycalls,andrespondedtomydirectmessages,Ithinkaboutyourkindnessoftenandamsogladtoknowyou.Thankyouforhelpinganewauthorthroughthedauntingyetexcitingpublishingprocess.
Tomyparents,forachildhoodfilledwithgoodbooksandgoodfood.Thankyouforsupportingmyjourneyfulloftwistsandturnseverystepoftheway.Tomymèimei,Iamgratefulforyourunwaveringsupportandencouragement.ToAuntieRae,thankyouforyourculturalandMandarinlanguageinsights.
Tothebooksellers,librarians,bookstagrammers,bookbloggers,bookclubs,andpodcasters,yourvastknowledgeofbooksneverfailstoimpressme.Thanksforallthatyoudoinspreadingtheloveofbookstoothersandforalwaysknowingjusttherightstorytorecommend.
Thankstoyou,reader.Iknowthattherearethousandsofbooksoutthereforyoutochoosefrom,sofromthedeepestdepthsofmyheart,thankyouforchoosingtospendtimewithmine.
Andfinally,tomybestfriendandhusband,Patrick,theSnaketomyHorse.ThankyouforreadingliterallyeverysingleversionofthisbookandforcaringjustasdeeplyasIdoaboutthesecharacters.Youaremylivingproofthathappyeverafterscanbefoundthroughonlinedating.Iamtheluckiestthatthealgorithmsbroughtustogether.DiscoverYourNextGreatRead
Getsneakpeeks,bookrecommendations,andnewsaboutyourfavoriteauthors.
Tapheretolearnmore
ReadingGroupGuide
DearReader,
ThankyousomuchforchoosingtospendtimereadingLunarLove.ThisbookismylovelettertoChinesetraditionsandthewayswemakecustomsourown.Iamproudtobemixed-raceChineseAmerican.MyChinese,Scottish,Welsh,andDanishancestriesinspiremywriting,buttheyalsoinspiremetolearnmoreaboutthefamilywhocamebeforemeandtheirtraditions,culture,language,andfood.Throughstoriesandphotographsandbyaskingalotofquestions,I’mconstantlyuncoveringnewtidbitsofinformationaboutmyfamily.AllofthesenuggetsofknowledgebuildabiggerpictureaboutwhereIcomefromandwhoIam.
WhenmymommovedtotheUnitedStatesfromTaiwaninthe1970sasayounggirl,herfamilycelebrationsandtraditionsalwaysincorporatedspecifictypesoffood,suchaslong-lifenoodlesforbirthdays,mooncakesfortheMid-AutumnFestival,andzongzi(stickyricedumplings)forQingming.Beyondfood,mymompasseddownotherChinesetraditionsandsuperstitionstomysisterandme:Noshoesoninthehouse!Don’twearwhiteinyourhair!Eateverygrainofriceoryourhusbandwillhavepockmarks!
ButtherearealsotraditionsthatIhavebothdiscoveredandmademyownlaterinlifeinmypersonalattempttolearnmoreaboutmyheritage.Asafewexamples,Iworebothwhiteandredatmywedding.MyhusbandandIhadateaceremonybeforeourweddingdinnerinwhichweblendedourfavoriteteastogethertocreateonethatguestscouldenjoy.Inownotonlyhappilyaccepthóngbāo,butIalsogiveredenvelopestomyniecesasaproudauntie.
Learningmoreaboutone’sbackgroundseemstobeadesiresharedbypeopleofallages.MydadhadclothingmadeafterdiscoveringourScottishclantartanacoupleofyearsago.
I’llforeverbeonajourneytounderstandwhereIcomefromwhilefullyunderstandingthatthingschangeovertime.Iamfascinatedbyhowmythsandsuperstitions,ideas,beliefs,traditions,andstoriesevolve.Whatadvances?Whatcomesbackaround?Whohastheresponsibilityand/orpleasureofkeepingcustomsalive?Maybewealldo,forwhateverwevalueinourlives,carryingthesethingsofimportancefromthepast,makingthemrelevantinthepresent,andpushingthemforwardintothefuture.
WithLunarLove,Ihopetoshowthattherecanbejoyandfulfillmentinbringingtraditionsintothepresentday,andthatthere’snuanceandcomplexityinbeingmixed.Ultimately,mygreatestdesireisthatyouseeapartofyourselfinthesepages,howeverthatmightlook.
Withlove,
Lauren
DiscussionQuestions
AlivelydebatetakesplaceattheMatchedwithLoveSummitaboutwhetherornotoppositesattract.Doyouthinkoppositesattract?Whyorwhynot?Doyouthinkthatbeingoppositesisagoodbasisforarelationship?
Oliviathinkscompatibilityinpartnersisimportant.Doescompatibilitymatterinrelationships?Ifso,how?Ifnot,whynot?
LearningaboutnewtraditionsandkeepingthemaliveisimportanttoOlivia.Whatfamilytraditionsdoyoukeepalive?Howhavetheychangedovertime?
OneofOlivia’schallengesistobringatraditionalbusinessintothepresent,whilethinkingaboutitsfuture.Howdobusinessesneedtochangewiththetimes?Overtime,howhasLunarLovechangedandadapted?
OliviaandBennettmakeabettoprovetoeachotherthattheirversionofChinesezodiacmatchmakingisbest.Whosemethod—Olivia’sin-personmatchmakingorBennett’sdatingapp—doyouthinkisbetter?Haveyoumetsomeonethroughonlinedating?Wasthatexperiencepositive?
OliviaandBennettsometimesfeltlikeoutsidersbecausetheydon’tseethemselvesasfullyfittingintotheirChineseheritage.Whenhaveyoueverfeltsplitbetweentwopartsofyourselforasthoughyouweren’t“enough”?
OliviaputsalotofpressureonherselftomakeLunarLovesuccessful.Whydoyouthinkthislegacyissoimportanttoher?
Olivia’sgrandmotheristhereveredandbelovedmatriarchofherfamily.Didyoufeelthefamily’sgriefwhenPóPodied?Whoistheseniormemberthatleadsyourfamily?Whatarethereasonsthatyourespectandvaluethem?
Whatroledoyouthinkfood(Swissrolls,dumplings,mooncakes,animal-shapedcakes,cookies,etc.)playsthroughoutthebook?Arethereanyspecialrecipesorfoodsthathavebeenpasseddowninyourfamily?
OliviaandNinahaveaheart-to-heartintheirtreehousenamedTheSpaceship.Wheredoyougowhenyouwanttoescapeorthinkorhaveaprivatemomentwithsomeone?
ThevariousflowersthroughoutLunarLovehavesignificantmeaningtoOlivia(BennettgivesOliviawhitechrysanthemums,Olivia’sfavoritefloweristhepeony,ZodiaCupidisgamifiedwithpeonies,andtheyviewVanGogh’sIrises).Whattypesofflowershavesignificantmeaningtoyouandwhy?
NowthatOliviaandBennetthavemergedbusinesses,whatdoyouthinkthefutureholdsfortheirrelationship?
Q&AwiththeAuthor
Haveyoualwayswantedtobeawriter?
Ialwayswrote,butIdidn’tapproachwritinginaformalway.Ispentagoodamountofmychildhoodatmyparents’officewritingstoriesinemptyconferenceroomsonmygifted,belovedtypewriter(likelyprovidedtomesoIwouldstayoutofmyparents’wayduringmeetings).WhenIwasn’tmakingupstoriesformyfamilytoread,Iwasreading.IconsumedbookserieslikeSweetValleyHighandNancyDrew,lovinggettinglostinworldsotherthanmyown.Becausethat’swhatstoriesdoforus.Theygiveuspeeksintoworldsandlivesthataredifferentthanourown.Butsomethingelsethatstoriesshoulddoisshowusourselves.Ididn’thavebooksormoviesthatfeaturedcharacterswholookedlikemeormyfamily.Afteryearsofwritingnonfiction,Imissedcreatingmyownworldsandcharacters.WhenIstartedwritingfictionagain,IknewIwantedtoshowcasepeoplelikemewhoseworldsaren’toftenshowninthemedia.
HowdoyoucelebrateLunarNewYear?
WhenIwasgrowingup,myfamilywouldgotodifferentaunties’housesforLunarNewYear,wheretherewouldbeplattersofdumplings,vegetables,fish,noodles,anddesserts.Itwasalwaysaverysocialevent.Thehighlightformysisterandmewaswhentheredenvelopeswerehandedout.Thesedays,IhostLunarNewYearformyfamily.Wehanglanterns,putoutdecorations,andmakeanentirefeast.Mydad’sresponsibleforcookingthewholefish,mymommakeshernow-perfectedrecipeofbáitánggāo(whitesugarspongecake),myhusbandmakesthesideofvegetables,andItaketheleadonthehomemadedumplings.There’salwaysfreshlycutfruitandstore-boughtcandies.WealsocelebrateNewYear’s,soLunarNewYearisanicetimetogatheragaintoeatgoodfoodandspendmoretimewithfamily.
CanyoubrieflyexplaintheChinesezodiac?
TheChinesezodiac,alsoknownasShengxiao(“bornresembling”),isanimportantpartofChineseculture.TheChinesezodiacisabeliefsystembasedonthelunarcalendarinwhichtwelveanimalsrepresentarepeatingtwelve-yearcycle.Eachlunaryearisrepresentedbyadifferentanimal,intheorderofRat,Ox,Tiger,Rabbit,Dragon,Snake,Horse,Goat,Monkey,Rooster,Dog,andPig.Eachanimalisassociatedwithvariouspersonalitytraits,whichiswhypeopleusetheChinesezodiacasawaytolearnmoreaboutthemselvesandwhotheymaybecompatiblewith.
OnecommonbeliefofhowtheanimalsgottheirorderwasthattheJadeEmperorheldaraceinwhichalloftheanimalsintheworldwereinvitedtocompeteforspotsinthezodiaccalendar.ThiscompetitionhasbecomeknownastheGreatRace,andthetoptwelveanimalswhoplacedbecametheofficialanimalsigns.BecausetheRatcameaheadofalltheotheranimals,itisthefirstanimalinthecycle.TheChinesezodiaciscomplexandfascinating,and,similarlytoWesternastrology,isaninterestingwaytolearnmoreaboutyourself,friends,family,andcolleagues.
WhichofyourChinesezodiacanimalsigntraitsdoyoumostrelateto?
I’mtheYearoftheHorse,ananimalsignIverymuchrelateto.AsaHorse,I’mveryindependent.Icandefinitelybestubbornandimpatient.IprefertokeepbusysoIbalancealotofspinningplatesatonce,whichisexciting,challenging,andstimulating,butIdohaveahardtimerelaxing.I’malsoadventurousinthatIwilltrymostthingsonceandIlovehavingavarietyofexperiencesthatwilltakemetonewplacesandkeepmymindactive.ItissaidthattheHorseisunbridledinloveandromance,whichIthinkholdstrue.
LunarLoveshowsboththeprosandconsofdatingapps.Howdoyoufeelaboutonlinedating?
Iwasalwayswaryofonlinedatingbecausetherewasastigmaaroundit.I’maby-productofromanticcomedies,soIthoughtmymeet-cutewouldcomeintheformofsomeserendipitous,charmingmomentontheNewYorkCitystreetslikeitdidinbooksandmovies.Butafterthird-wheelingmysisterandhernow-husbandonetoomanytimes,Icreatedanonlinedatingprofile.IwentintoitthesamewaythatIapproachmostthings:withastrategyandatimeline.Isignedupforaservicethatrequiredthatuserspay,andIgavemyselfasix-monthperiodtoseeifonlinedatingwasevenagoodfitforme.
Fivedayslater,Imetthemanwhoisnowmyhusband.Ourfirstdatewasfivehourslong,andwemovedintogetherafterthreemonths.Onpaperwearenot“compatible,”andwehavebothadmittedthatitwasn’tloveatfirstsight,butbyDateTwowewereinitforthelonghaul.Whenitcomestoonlinedating,Ireallycan’tcomplain.Itledmetotheloveofmylife.
WhatinspiredyoutowriteaboutChinesezodiacmatchmakingandonlinedating?
IaminspiredbyhowChineseastrologycanbeusedasalanguageforgettingtoknowourselvesandothersbetter.Yourspecificanimalsigndependsontheyearinwhichyouwereborn,buttherearemanyfactorsbeyondjusttheanimalsignstoconsider,includingtheascendant(determinedbythetimeofdayyouwereborn)andfiveelements(water,wood,fire,earth,andmetal)thatalignwiththeyearyouwerebornin.ThenuancesofChineseastrologyandalltheelementsthatcomeintoplaywithoneanothercontinuetofascinateme.
Matchmakerswouldpairpeopletogetherbasedonthecompatibilityoftheiranimalsigns.PlacingChinesezodiacmatchmakingincontrastwithdatingappscametogetherinmymindinanorganicwayhavinggrownuplearningabouttheChinesezodiac,butalsohavingmetmyhusbandthroughonlinedating.IfoundtheconceptofthehighlypersonalcompatibilitymatchingwithintheChinesezodiacinteresting,especiallywhenjuxtaposedwithBigTech’salgorithmsanddatathatarealsointendedtofindyoucompatiblematches.I’mcuriousabouthowbeliefsandtraditionsevolveovertime,andmatchmakingiscertainlyanareathathasprogressedinavarietyofways.
YourbookfeaturesmanyiconiclocationsinLosAngeles.Haveyoulivedthere?
Ihave!IwenttocollegejustoutsideofLosAngelesandfrequentlydroveintothecitytoexploreandintern.AfterlivinginNewYorkCityandSeattleforawhile,myhusbandandImovedtoLosAngelesforafewyearsbeforemovingtoNashville.ThelocationsinthebookaresomeofmyveryfavoriteLAspots,fromChinatowntotheGettytoGriffithPark.LosAngelesissuchavibrantcitywithgreatfood,coolbookstores,funhikingspots,excellentmuseums,Hollywood,andbeautifulweather.WealsolivedinPasadena,whichissuchagemwithevenmoregreatfoodandthingstodo.It’salsohometoafewfavoritesofmine:Vroman’sBookstore;NASA’sJetPropulsionLaboratory;andTheHuntingtonLibrary,ArtMuseum,andBotanicalGardens.LosAngeleswillalwaysholdaspecialplaceinmyheart.
Whatisyournextnovelabout?DoesitalsoincludeaChinesetradition?
MynextnovelisaboutanartistwhodeeplybelievesintheRedThreadofFate:aChineselegendinwhichYuèLǎo,thegodofloveandmarriage,connectstwopeoplebytheankleswitharedthread.Onenight,shemeetsamanfromoutoftownandtourshimaroundNewYorkCity.Afteramisunderstanding,thetwoaren’tabletoconnectaftertheirenchantedevening.Butwhenanunexpectedopportunitybringsthembacktogether,thewomancan’thelpbutwonderifthismanistheoneontheotherendofherredstring.Thisbookisfilledwithmoretraditions,superstitions,andmyths—Ican’twaitforyoutoreaditinearly2024!
ChineseZodiacCharacterChart
ZodiacAnimal
BirthYears
Character
PersonalityTraits
Rat
1984
BennettO’Brien
Resourceful,entrepreneurial,intelligent,opinionated
Ox
1937
1961
HaroldChristenson(Grandpa)
RupertHuang
Down-to-earth,reliable,followsheadoverheart
Tiger
1938
1962
1986
EttaChristenson(Grandma)
MartinChristenson
AlishaLin
OwenRossi
Generous,romantic,optimistic,quick-tempered
Rabbit
1987
ElmerHan
Thorough,ruthless,self-indulgent,moody
Dragon
1976
1988
CarolRogers
HarperChen
Confident,takesinitiative,decisive,driven
Snake
1989
TheEx
Elusive,possessive,private,demanding
Horse
1930
1966
1990
JuneHuang(PóPo)
LydiaHuang
OliviaHuangChristenson
Quick-witted,impulsive,multitasker,stubborn,high-spirited
Goat
1955
1979
1991
MaeZhang(MaeYí-Pó)
JonathanChastain
ColetteCurtis
Gentle,compassionate,kindhearted,determined
Monkey
1956
1968
DaleZhang(DaleYí-Gong)
VivienneHuang
Innovative,intellectual,clever,competitive
Rooster
1981
1993
ParkerT.
NinaHuangChristenson
AsherGreen
Meticulous,opinionated,organized,responsible
Dog
1958
2018
LisaChristenson
Pinot
Honest,loyal,straightforward,capable
Pig
1971
RandallZhu
Patient,courageous,trustworthy,overoptimistic
MaeYí-Pó’sSwissRollswith
VanillaCreamFilling
ChineseSwissrollsarelightanddeliciouswithoutbeingoverlysweet.YoucanfindtheminmostChinesebakeriesasslicesorentirerolls.Thefillingcanbewhateveryourheartdesires:vanillacream,matcha,jam,chocolatecream,younameit.Theresultisafluffycakelivingitsfullspiralpotential.
Makes6–8slices
IngredientsCake:
?cupcakeflour
?teaspoonbakingpowder
?teaspoonsalt
3eggsatroomtemperature,separatedintoeggyolksandeggwhites
4tablespoonslightbrownsugar
3tablespoonsvegetableoil
1teaspoonvanillaextract
2tablespoonswholemilk
3tablespoonswhitesugar
?teaspooncreamoftartar
Filling:
?cupcoldheavywhippingcream
3teaspoonswhitesugar
1teaspoonvanillaextract
1teaspoonpowderedsugar(tosprinkleontop)
Method
Preheattheovento350°Fandlinea9″×13″bakingpanwithparchmentpaper.Makesuretheparchmentpaperislargeenoughtoneatlyfitthepanbutalsohasedgesthatyoucanusetoliftthebakedcakeoutofthebakingpan.
Intoabowl,siftthecakeflour,bakingpowder,andsalt.
Inaseparatebowl,whiskthe3eggyolksandlightbrownsugartogether.Addthevegetableoil,vanillaextract,andwholemilkandthenwhiskuntilcompletelysmoothandfreeofanylumps.
Addtheflourmixtureintotheeggyolkmixture,andmixuntilthebatteriswellblendedandlump-free.Setthebatteraside.
Inthebowlofanelectricmixerwiththewhiskattachment,addtheremainingeggwhitesandthe3tablespoonsofwhitesugarandwhipuntilyougetstiffpeaks.Youcanalsomixtheseingredientsbyhandwithawhisk.Onceyouhavestiffpeaks,addthecreamoftartarandmixagain.
Inbatches,gentlyfoldtheeggwhitemixtureintotheflour-and-egg-yolkbatterwithaspatula.Thiswillcreateanairybatter,butitisimportanttobedelicatewiththisandnotovermixormixvigorously.
Pourthiscombinedmixtureintotheparchment-linedbakingpanandsmooththetopsothebatterisevenlydistributed.Tapthepanagainstthecountertogetridofanyairbubbles.
Bakefor15–18minutesuntilatoothpickcomesoutclean.Becarefulnottooverbakethecake.
Whilethecakeisbaking,makethefillingbymixingheavywhippingcream,sugar,andvanillaextractinthebowlofanelectricmixerwiththewhiskattachmentuntilyougetstiffpeaks.Youcanalsomixtheseingredientsbyhandwithawhisk.Coverthefillingandplaceitinthefridgeuntilit’stimetofilltheroll.
Removethebakingpanfromtheoven,andletthecakecoolonacoolingrackfor10-12minutes.Youdon’twantthecaketocoolfully.
Carefullylifttheparchmentpaperbyitssidestoremovethecakefromthepan.Gentlyflipthecakeupsidedownontoanotherlargepieceofparchmentpaper,andpeeltheoriginalparchmentpaperoffthecake.
Make3shallowcutsononesideofthewidthofthecakewhileit’sstillwarm.Carefulnottocutallthewaythrough.
Startingonthesidewiththecuts,gentlyrollthecake,keepingthenewparchmentpaperintact.Pre-rollingthecakewhileit’sstillwarmshouldhelpmakerollingthecakewithfillingeasier.Keepthecakerolledupinparchmentpaperfor15–18minutes.
Unrollthecakecarefully.Itdoesn’tneedtobeflatwhenyouaddthefilling.Spreadthefillingontothecakeevenlywithaspatula.
Gentlyrollthecakeupagain.Thistime,pulltheparchmentpaperawayfromthecakeasyouroll.
Oncethecakeisrolled,slicetheendsoffforacleanedge.Siftpowderedsugarontop,slice(cleaningtheknifebetweeneachcut),andenjoy!Tofirmthecakeupmore,wraptherollinparchmentpaperandrefrigeratefor3–4hours.
PóPo’sPan-FriedPorkDumplings
Dumplings(jiǎozi)areatraditionalfoodforLunarNewYear.Theyareshapedtoresembleaningot,anearlyformofcurrencyinChina,becausedumplingssymbolizelongevityandwealth.Dumplingscanbestuffedwithvariousfillingsandcanbepan-fried,boiled,orsteamed.Ifyou’relookingforsomethingquicker,optoutofmakingyourowndoughwrappersandbuypre-madedumplingwrappersinstead.
Makes60–70dumplings
IngredientsDough:
3cupsall-purposeflour,morefordusting
1cupwarmwater(plus3tablespoons,ifneeded)
PorkFilling:
1poundgroundpork
2?tablespoonssoysauce
1tablespoongratedorfinelymincedfreshginger
2tablespoonsmincedgarlic
3scallions,thinlysliced
1teaspoonShaoxingricewine
1teaspoonsesameoil
DippingSauce:
?cupsoysauce
1tablespoonShaoxingricewine
1tablespoonchoppedfreshginger
MethodDumplingWrappers:
Addtheflourtoalargebowl.
Slowlypourthewarmwaterintotheflourandmixwithchopsticks.Thedoughwilllookabitlumpy,andthat’sokay.Ifthedoughstillfeelstoodry,addintheextrawater.
Onaflouredsurface,kneadthedoughuntilthewaterandflourarecombinedandsmooth.Shapethedoughintoaballandletitrestfor30–45minutescoveredinplasticwrap.
DumplingFilling(makewhilethedoughrests):
Inalargebowl,mixthepork,soysauce,ginger,garlic,scallions,Shaoxingricewine,andsesameoiluntilcombined.
MakingtheDumplings:
Afterthedoughhasrested,removetheplasticwrap.Kneadthedoughoncemoreonaflouredsurface.
Dividethedoughintopiecesweighing11–13grams.
Flatteneachpieceofdoughwithyourpalmandthenusearollingpintorollthemoutintoacircleabout3–3.5inchesindiameter.Keepalighttouchhere—youwanttheedgesofthewrappertobethinnerthanthemiddle.(Thismakesforeasierpleatingandathickermiddletoholdthefilling.)
Placerolled-outwrappersonaplatecoveredwithadamptoweltopreventthedoughfromdryingout.
Usingaspoon,scoopoutnomorethanatablespoonofporkfillingforeachwrapper.Addthescooptothecenterofthewrapper.
Usingyourfingerorabrush,addalittlewateralongtheedgesofthewrappertohelpthedoughsticktogetherbetter.Bringtheedgesofthewrappertogethertocreateahalf-moonshapearoundthefilling.Pinchtheedgestoseal.Fromthecenter,makesmallfoldswiththedoughdownoneside,pushingeachnewpleatagainstthepreviousone.Repeatthispleatingontheotherside.
Placethepleateddumplingsontheplateorparchment-linedbakingsheetwithadamptoweloverthemsotheydon’tdryout.
PanFryingtheDumplings:
Add1–2tablespoonsofvegetableoiltoanonstickpanandsetovermediumhighheat.
Oncethepanishotandtheoilisshimmery,placethedumplingsinthepan(pleatsfacingup)withoutlettingthemtoucheachother.Cookfor1–2minutesuntilthebottomsaregolden.
Add3–4tablespoonsofwaterandimmediatelycoverthepanwithalid.Carefulhere:theoilsizzlesandthesteamrisesquicklyonceyouaddwatertothepan.
Steamthedumplingsforanother3–5minutesuntilthewaterhasevaporatedandthedumplingsarefullycooked.Thedoughwillappearsofterandoff-white.Cutopenoneofthedumplingstomakesureit’scookedthroughalltheway.Thiscombinationofpanfryingandsteamingaddsatastycrunchtothedumplingswithasoft,chewytop.
Transferthedumplingstoaplateandservewithsoysauceordippingsauce.
MaketheDippingSauce:
Inasmallbowl,combinethesoysauceandShaoxingricewine.
Addthechoppedgingerandmixitaroundthesaucetoaddflavor.AbouttheAuthor
LaurenKungJessenisamixed-raceChineseAmericanwriterwithafondnessforwitty,flirtatiousdialogueandmakingmealswithtoomanystepsbutlotsofflavor.Sheisfascinatedbymythsandsuperstitionsandhowideas,beliefs,traditions,andstoriesevolveovertime.FromattendingculinaryschooltoworkingintheworldofBigTechtowritinglovestories,Laurencaresaboutcreatingexperiencesthatmakepeoplefeelsomething.Whenshe’snotwritingnovels,sheworksasacontentstrategistanduserexperiencewriter.Shealsohasafoodandfilmblog,ADashofCinema,whereshemakesfoodinspiredbymoviesandTVshows.ShelivesinNashvillewithherhusband,whoshemetthankstofate(read:thealgorithmsofonlinedating),twocats,anddog.
Youcanlearnmoreat:
Website:LaurenKungJessen.com
Twitter:@LaurenKJessen
Instagram:@LaurenKJessenPraisefor
LaurenKungJessen
andLunarLove
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