Mine To Hold Friends to Lovers small town romance (Southern Weddings Book 2)-

MineToHold
NatashaMadisonCopyright?2022NatashaMadison.E-BookandPrintEdition
Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,electronicormechanical,includingphotocopying,recording,orbyanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystem,withoutpermissioninwriting.
Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,placesandincidentsaretheproductoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfactiously,andanyresemblancetoanyactualpersonsorlivingordead,eventsorlocalsareentirelycoincidental.
Theauthoracknowledgesthetrademarkstatusandtrademarkownersofvariousproductsreferencedinthisworkoffiction,whichhavebeenusedwithoutpermission.Thepublication/Useofthesetrademarksisnotauthorized,associatedwith,orsponsoredbythetrademarkowner.
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CreatedwithVellumContents
AreyoureadyforTheSouthernWeddingSeries?
WeddingSeriesTree
SouthernTree
Prologue
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Chapter16
Chapter17
Chapter18
Chapter19
Chapter20
Chapter21
Chapter22
Chapter23
Chapter24
Chapter25
Chapter26
Chapter27
Chapter28
Chapter29
Chapter30
Chapter31
Chapter32
Chapter33
EpilogueOne
EpilogueTwo
BooksByNatashaMadison
FREEBOOK!AreyoureadyforTheSouthernWeddingSeries?
MINETOHOLD
Thingsaresupposedtogosmoothlyonyourweddingday.
Aren’tthey?
Shelby
IgotaloveletterthenightbeforeIwassupposedtomarrytheloveofmylife.
Excepttheletterwasn’tforme.
Myfuturehusbandhadwrittenittosomeoneelse.
Weston(Ace)
Standingatthealtartowatchmybestfriendgetmarriedwasanhonor.
Findingoutthathewassleepingwithmygirlfriendwasanightmare.
EverythingIknewwasalie.
Whentheopportunitycametogetoutoftownandleavemyexbehind,Itookit
Umbrelladrinksandbrokenheartsdon’tmixwell.
Ishouldn’twantShelbyformyself–butIdo.
IwanthermorethanI’veeverwantedanyone.
Maybe,shewasjustminetohold.
ComingJuly2022!
Pre-OrderHere!
MINETOCHERISH
Clarabella
DidIwanttogetmarriedtoday?
It’shardtosaywhenheproposedinfrontofoverahundredpeople.
Everythinghappenedsofast,andIthoughtitwasjustnerves.
Itwasnot.
TheknockonthedoorshowedmethatwhatIwasfeelingwasmorethanjustcoldfeet.
Iwasarunawaybride.
Luke
Thewholetownwasbusyattendingherwedding.
ShewastheoneIletgetawaywhenItoldherournighttogetherwasamistakeandthenlefttown.
SoIplannedtospendtheweekendgettingdrunk.
Whensheranoutofthechurchlookingforahideout,Iopenedthecardoorforher.
Mycabinhasonebed,andmylonginglooksdon’tmixwell.
Somehow,Ihavetokeepmyheartintactandherreputationtogether.
Maybeshewasjustminetocherish.
ComingSeptember2022!
Pre-OrderHere!
MINETOLOVE
Nothingsaysforeverliketwopinklines!
Presley
Aftermysisters’disastrousweddings,I’mnevergoingtogetmarried.
I’lljuststaysingleforever.
Itdoesn’tmatterthatI’minlovewithmybrother’sbestfriend.
OrthatBennettandIshouldn’tevenbefriendswithbenefits.
UntilthepositivesigntellsmeI’mpregnant.
Bennett
IfellinlovewithPresleywhenshewaseighteenandaskedmeforafavor.
Shedidn’twanttogotocollegeavirgin.
Isaidno,butshekissedme,andIwaslostinher.
Yearslater,I’lltakeherwithanyrulesshegivesme.
Shethinksthisisjustafling.She’swrong.
Becauseshe’salwaysbeenminetolove
ComingOctober2022!
Pre-OrderHere!WeddingSeriesTree
SouthernWeddingFamilytree
MineToHave
Harlow&Travis
MineToHold
Shelby&Ace
MineToCherish
Clarabella&Luke
MinetoLove
Presley&Bennett
MineToTake
MineTo
MinetoHold
Shelby
IgotaloveletterthenightbeforeIwassupposedtomarrytheloveofmylife.
Excepttheletterwasn’tforme.
Myfuturehusbandhadwrittenittosomeoneelse.
Weston(Ace)
Standingatthealtartowatchmybestfriendgetmarriedwasanhonor.
Findingoutthathewassleepingwithmygirlfriendwasanightmare.
EverythingIknewwasalie.
Whentheopportunitycametogetoutoftownandleavemyexbehind,Itookit
Umbrelladrinksandbrokenheartsdon’tmixwell.
Ishouldn’twantShelbyformyself—butIdo.
IwanthermorethanI’veeverwantedanyone.
Maybe,shewasjustminetohold.SouthernTree
SouthernFamilytree
BillyandCharlotte
(MotherandfathertoKallieandCasey)
SouthernChance
Kallie&JacobMcIntyre
EthanMcIntyre(SavannahSon)
Amelia
Travis
SouthernComfort
Olivia&CaseyBarnes
Quinn(SouthernHeat)
Reed(SouthernSunshine)
Harlow(MinetoHave)
SouthernStorm
Savannah&BeauHuntington
EthanMcIntyre(Jacob’sson)
Chelsea(SouthernHeart)
Toby
Keith
SouthernSunrise
Emily&EthanMcIntyre
Gabriel
Aubrey
SouthernHeart
ChelseaHuntington&MaysonCarey
Tucker
SouthernHeat
Willow&QuinnBarnes
SouthernSecrets
AmeliaMcIntyre&Asher
SouthernSunshine
Hazel&ReedBarnes
SophiaPrologue
DearestLove,
Somuchhashappenedsincewelastspoke.TravisandHarlowgotmarriedandcouldnotbehappier.
Butit’sthattimeagain.Theweddingseason,wheneveryoneisfindingtheirbestoutfitstobeworn.
Shelbywillsoonbewalkingdowntheaisle.Orwillshe?
Itseemsapeskylittleemailwassenttoherthenightbeforeherwedding.Asortofdeclarationoflove.Somewouldswoon,exceptwasshetheintendedwoman?
Willtheygettheirhappilyeverafter,orwasshealwaysmeantforsomeoneelse?
Timewilltell!
XOXO
NMChapter1
Shelby
“Happydaybeforeyourweddingday!”Clarabellashoutsasshecomesintomyofficewithherhandsintheair,oneofthemwithaclipboardandtheotherwithherphone.“Youlooksopretty.”ShetakesmeinasIstandinfrontofthemirrorinanothernewoutfitIboughtfortheday.
“Youdon’tthinkit’stoomuch?”Lookingbackintothemirror,Ismoothdownthedress.“ShouldIhavehaditinwhiteinstead?”Thedressisablushpinkandhasasweetheartnecklinewithsmallcapsleevesattachedtothedress,allruffled.Aruffledpiecegoesdownthemiddleofmychest,showingoffmyboobsandthentotheside,andzigzagsbackuntilthefloor.TheslitinthefrontshowsoffmylegsthatI’vebeenworkingouttogetforthepastsixmonths.
“Idon’tknowaboutthat,”Presleysays,cominginrightbehindClarabella.“Butyourbodyisbanging.”Sheshakesherhead.“Allthatworkinthegym,andyouwentwithaCinderella-styledress.Pity.”
“Hey,”Clarabellasnapsather.“Nonegativetalkonthedaybeforethewedding.”SheglaresatPresley,whojustshrugshershoulders.
“Areyoureadytogooverthelast-minutelist?”Presleyasks,andInodmyhead.
“ThisIcando,”Imumbletothem,walkingovertomydesktograbmylist.Iignorethewaymystomachflip-flopsallovertheplace.“It’sprobablygoingtocalmmedown.”Ipulloutthebigwhitechairfrominfrontofmywhitedeskandsitdown.Myhandsshakejustatouch,andIlookuptoseeifmysistersnoticedbutfindthemlookingdownattheirphonesdoingsomething.Theyaredressedinpantsuits,oneisalightyellow,andtheotherisalightblue.IfIwasn’tthebride,Iwouldprobablybewearingthesamethingasthem.
Mydeskisperfectlyorganized,withthemiddleofthedeskclearwithjustonefolderonit,andit’stheoneforthisweekend.ApictureofJosephandmetakenwhenheproposedtomeisonthesideofmydeskrightnexttomycomputerscreen.Anotherphotoisofmysistersandmewhenweofficiallyopenedourweddingservice,HappilyEverAfter.“Arewegoingtostart?”Ilookoveratthem,andtheylookupfromtheirphones.
“Thisisgoingtobeamazing,”Clarabellasays,comingoverandsittingononeofthetwowhitechairsthatfacemydesk.“Weddingofthedecade.”
“Imean,let’sbehonest,it’sgoingtobealotbetterthanTravis’sfirstwedding.”PresleysitsinthechairnexttoClarabella.“We’vealreadysetthebarhigheronthatonewiththekitchennotcatchingonfire.”
Igasp.“Whywouldyousaythatandputitintheuniverse?”Isqueezemyhandstogetherinfists.“It’slikeouttherenow.Readytocomebackandboom.Kitchenonfire.”
“Sincewhenareyousuperstitious?”Presleyjusteyesme.“Outofallofus,youarethelastpersonwho’sevenremotelysuperstitious.”
Ijustlookatthem,tryingtomaskallthethingsgoingthroughmyheadrightnow.Ishouldn’tbethisnervous.I’vedonethisathousandtimes.Yes,butnotpersonally.Witheachbride,Ileavealittlebitofmyselfintheirshoes.“Therewasthatonetimethatthemirrorinthebride’sroomshattered.”ClarabellalooksoveratPresley.
“Thatwasbecauseshewashavingsexagainstit,”Ipointout,“withthegroom’sfather.”
“Oh,yeah,thatshouldhavebeenasign.”Presleytapsherphonethatisonherlapwithherfinger.“Wemusthavedonesomethingright.She’scomingbackforhersecondwedding.”
“NothingsaysIreallylovedwhatyouguysdidwithmyfirstweddingthantocomebackforasecondtime,”Presleysays,lookingdownathernotesandstarting.“Everythinghasbeenreconfirmed.”Ilookdownonmylistthatisallblackedoutwithcheckmarksbesideit.“Wehavethemsettingupfortherehearsaldinnerrightnow.”
“Whichlooksamazing,”Clarabellasays,andIjuststareather.“What?Youknowtherules.Weplaneachother’swedding.”
“TheonlythingI’vebeenabletodoisbookthefoodandthewaitstaff,”Ihuff,notusedtonotbeingtheoneincontrol.
“That’snottrue.Weletyouchoosethedress,”Presleyretorts,leaningbackinherchairwhenherphonebeeps.
“Andbehappyweevenletyouhandlethat.”Clarabellasmilesatme.“AndifI’mbeinghonest,Iwouldhavechosentheotherone.”Shegetsup.“It’sjustacouplemoreminutes,andwewillcallyoutocomeout,andyoucantakeitallin.”ShelooksoveratPresley.“Itgivesusachancetochange.”
“You’rechanging?”Iask,andtheyjustlookatme.
“Ofcourse,wearechanging.Youaren’ttheonlyonewhogaveupcarbsforthelastsixmonths,”Clarabellasays.“Also,wouldneverrecommend.”Ijustlaugh.
“Butwefeltsomuchbetter.”Ipointather.
“AndI’llfeelsomuchbettertomorrowwhenIshovedoughnutsdownmypiehole,”Presleysays.“Pie.thatsoundssogood.IthinkIjustdrooled.”Shebringsherhandtohermouth.“Whenyougetmarried.”ShelooksatClarabella.“I’mnotdoingthiscarb-freeshit.”
“Asif.”Clarabellapfftsather.“Youwillbemarriedbeforeme.”Theywalktothedoor,thenshelooksbackatme.“OnlycomeoutwhenIcallyou.”Shepointsatmeandwalksoutoftheroom.
Gettingup,Ishakemyhead,lookingdownatthefour-caratprincess-cutringsittingonmylefthand.AsmilecomestomyfacewhenIthinkofwhenhegaveittome.Idon’tknowifIwasexpectingitornot,butdeepdowninside,IwasmoresurprisedthanIthoughtIwouldbe.Married.Itwasabigdeal,especiallywithseeingthethingsI’veseendoingmyjob.Mystomachdoesalittleflip,andIwalktolookoutthewindowasthefloristtruckpullsup.
WhenmysistersandIdecidedtogointobusinesstogether,wegottheideafromourmomandaunt,whoranasmallweddingplanningbusiness.Butthethreeofusdidn’tjustwanttoplanweddings.No,wewantedtobethebesteventplannersinthebusiness,andwiththatcametheideatobuildourowneventspaceWeboughtahugepieceoflandandslowlybuiltitup.
Ourmainofficeswereinanicelittlebungalowwebuiltwiththreeofficesupstairswherethebedroomswouldbe,andthedownstairswasalittlesetupofthingswehavedonealongwithpicturesofallourevents.Ilookofftowardtherightandseethefoodtruckaswell.Themainthingthattookthelongesttobuildwastheeventbuilding.
Itlookslikeabarnfromtheoutside,butonceyougetinside,thewoodenfloorsarerusticwithexposedwoodenbeamsthatcanbedressedup.Itcanfituptofivehundredandfiftypeople.Rightbehindthebarnisakitchenwherethecatererscansetup.
Myeyesseeanothertruckarrivingandheadingtowardthelittlehouseadjacenttotheeventspace.It’swhatusuallysellsthebridesonthisplace.It’samassivethree-bedroombridalsuite.Iseewhiteflowersbeingcarriedinaswellasmydress.ThedressthatIspentaboutthreemonthsdesigning.ThedressthatIwassureinmyheartwasmydreamdress.SowhatifwhenItriediton,Ididn’tgetthatlittlebutterflyfeelingthateveryonesaysyouget,butIthinkitwasjustnerves.
Iputmyhandtomystomach,waitingforthebutterfliestoflutterandcomeupempty.“It’sgoingtobefine,”Itellmyself.”It’sjustnervesbecauseIhaven’tdoneanything.”
Myphoneringsonmydesk,andIwalkovertoseethatit’sClarabella.“Hello.”Iputthephonetomyear,andIhearherwalkingsomewhere.
“Youmaymakeyourwaydown,”shesays,andIwalkovertotheshoesinthecornerandslipthemon.Theyaremeshwithwhitediamondstudsonthem.I’malsowearingthemtomorrow,andI’vecountedthemasmysomethingold.“Happydaybeforeyourwedding,Shelby,”shesays,andIcanhearthesmileinhervoice.“It’sgoingtobeamazing.”
“Iknowitwill,”Isaytoher.“Nooneknowsmequitelikeyoutwo,”Isay,smiling.“I’monmyway.”Iwalkovertothemirrorandtakeafinallookatmyself,tuckingapieceofblackhairbehindoneear.Thecurlsarestillholdingfromthisafternoon.Mymakeupisverynatural,justlikeIwantedit.Itakeadeepbreath.“Herewego.”
IpullopenmyofficedoorandseeMallory,ourheadwaitstaffserver,withasilvertrayandacrystalchampagneglass.“Whatisthis?”
“Happydaybeforeyourwedding,Shelby,”shesays,handingmetheglass.“Youlookbeautiful.”
“Thankyou,”Ireply,grabbingtheglassandtryingtotakeasip,butmynervesgetthebestofme,andIfinishitall.IlookatMallory,tryingtofindthewords,whenshepullsashotglassoutfrombehindher.“Idon’tthinkthat’sagoodidea.”Thewordscomeoutofmymouth,butmyhandisgrabbingtheglass,andItaketheshot.Ihissastheliquidburnsallthewaydown.“Thatwasdefinitelyabadidea.”Weshareasmile.“Howmanyofthesehavewedonetogether?”Iask,turningandwalkingoutwithherbesideme.
“MorethanIcancount,”shesays,smilingatmeandleaningintome.“Areyouready?”sheurges,holdingthedoorofthevenueinherhand.
“Notevenabit,”Iadmit,andshejustlaughs.
“Howhardwasittoletgoofthecontrolandhavethemplanthewholething?”sheasks.
“Don’ttellanyone,”Isay,makingsurethatmydressisperfect.“ButItriedtobreakintotheiremailsatleastfourtimes.”Iside-eyeherasshejustlaughsoutloud.“IwishIwaskidding.”
“Well,Ihopeitwasworthit,”shesaysandpullsopenthedoor,andIstepin.ThephotographeristherewaitingtocatchthemomentthatIseeeverything.Iglareathim,andhelaughswhileIhearhimclickingaway.
“Happydaybeforeyourwedding,”hesaystomefrombehindthecamera,andIfliphimthebird.
“Thesepicturesaregoingtobeuponthewebsite,”hetellsme,andit’smyturntolaugh.
Ilookaround,speechlessatwhatmysistersdid.It’sperfect.Everythingisperfect.WhentheyaskedmewhatIthoughtitshouldbe,Isaidaforestwedding.IputmyhandstomymouthasItakeitallin.Thetreesareeverywhere,andIcanonlyimaginewhatistocome.Itlookslikeweareinthemiddleoftheforest.
Ilookaroundformysisters,knowingtheyaresomewhere,whenIseetheminthecornertalkingtoeachotherastheybothtypenervouslyontheirphones.Iwaitacoupleofsecondstoseeiftheylookoveratme,butIcanseefromtheirfacesthatsomethingiswrong.
“What’swrong?”Iask,myvoiceloud.Thetwoofthemlookoveratme,andIknowexactlywhattheyaredoingwhentheysmile.
“Oh,lookathowbeautifulyoulook,”Clarabellasays,puttingherphonebehindher.
“Knockthatshitout.Yousawmebefore,”Iremindher,puttingmyhandsonmyhipswhenthedooropens,andIseesomeguestscomein.Iwalkovertomysisters,smilingandwavingatacoupleofpeoplewhocomein.“What’sgoingon?”
“Nothing,”Presleysays.“Howdoyoulikethedecorations?”
“Theysuck,”Isay,knowingthatit’sgoingtobotherthem.I’mrightwhentheybothgasp.“Now,whatisallthechatterabout?”
“Whatdoyoumean?”Clarabellaasks,lookingaround,tryingtopretend,butIknowshe’slying.
“IsweartoGod,”Isay,myteethclenchedtight.
“Okay,fine,”Presleyrelents,andIseeClarabellaopenhereyeswide.“Don’tfreakout,but”—shelooksaroundwithasmileonherface,makingitseemlikeeverythingisokay—”JosephisMIA.”Chapter2
Shelby
Myheartspeedsupfasterinmychest.Thelastthinganyonewantstohearrightbeforetheystarttheirweddingfestivitiesisthe“don’tfreakout”speech.Itdoesn’t,infact,everwork,andtheotherpersonautomaticallystartstofreakthefuckout.“JosephisMIA.”Ihearthewordscomeoutofhermouth,andthey’reslowlybeginningtoseepintomybrain.
“What?”Ishakemyhead,notsureIunderstandwhatsheissaying.Mybodyfeelslikeit’scomingoutofitself.Iputmyhandonmystomach,feelingtheneedbecauseIfeellikeI’mgoingtobarfallovertheplace.
“She’sinshock,”Clarabellasays,andI’mabouttotellhertofuckoffwhensomeoneputstheirhandonmyback.
“Hey.”IhearAce’svoicebeforeIturnandlookathim.“Youlookbeautiful,”hecompliments,leaningdownandkissingmycheek.Helooksatmysistersandthenlooksatme.He’sdressedinatailoredbluesuit.Hisbaby-bluebutton-downshirthasthetwotopbuttonsopen.“Whodied?”Hechucklesnervously,andIdon’tknowwhyallthewordsaresuddenlystuckinmythroat.It’sallthesefuckingnerves.
“Noonedied,”Presleysaysbetweenclenchedteeth,herowneyesgoingbigasshelooksaroundtheroomtoseeifmaybesheseesJoseph.
“God,canyouimagine,”Clarabellavoicesoutloud,laughing,andtheonlysoundIcanmakeisagroan.“Thatmightbeevenworsethanbeingleftatthealtar.”HerfacegoesintoagrimacebeforePresleyhitsher,andshelooksatme.“He’snotdead.”Shetriestosoundcalmaboutit,butallshecandoislaughnervously.“Wewouldhavebeencontacted.”
“Maybeyoushouldstoptalking,”PresleyurgesbetweenclenchedteethtowardClarabella.
“Okay,everyoneneedstocalmdownaminute.”Iholdupmyhandsfinally.“Therehastobeareasonhe’slate.”Ilookatmywrist,butItookoffmywatchforthisoutfit.“Whattimeisit?”
Acepicksuphisarmandturnsit,andIseehismonogramonhissleevewiththecufflinksIboughthimwhenhebecameapartnerathisfirm.We’vebeenfriendssincewetookourfirstbusinessclasstogetherincollege.Afteracoupleofstudygroups,wefoundwehadlotsincommonandjuststartedhangingoutwitheachothermoreandmore.Whenwebothgraduated,Imovedbackhome,anditwasjustmyluckthatthecompanyhewouldbeworkingforwasopeninganofficeintown.ItwasatAce’sNewYear’sEvepartythatImetJoseph.“It’sfivethirty.”
“He’snotlate.”Ilookatmysisters.“Itstartsatfivethirty.”
“Itstartedatfive,”PresleysaysandthenlooksatAce.“You’relate.Asthebestman,youweresupposedtobehereatfive.”
“One.”Heholdsuphisfinger.“Iwashereatfourforty-five,”heargues.“Andtwo,IhadabusinesscallIhadtotake.”
“Hey,sorryI’mlate,”mybrother,Travis,saysasherushestous.“Wejust..”Hestartstosayandthenlooksaround,spottinghiswife,Harlow,walkinginwiththeirbabyinherarms.Theywerecollegesweethearts,andhebrokeupwithhertwoweeksbeforetheygraduated,notwantingtochangeherplans.Fouryearslater,sheshowedupathiswedding.Needlesstosay,hewasn’tmeanttomarryJenniferinthefirstplace.“It’sbeenaday,”headmitsandthenlooksatus.“What’sgoingon?”Hiseyesgofrommetomysistersandthenbacktome.
“Nothingisgoingon,”IconfirmwhilePresleyblurtsout,“Justaminorissue.”Sheholdsupherthumbandfinger,showingasmallspace.“Josephisn’there.”IwatchTravis’sfaceandseethathiseyesgobig,butwhenhelooksatmeandseesI’mlookingathim,hepretendsit’sokay.
“Well,wehadtrafficdrivinghere,”Travisinformsus,andIcantellfromhisfacehe’slyingrightthroughhisteeth,andifIwasn’tnervousalready,Iwouldcallhimoutonit.
“It’snotaminorissue,”Clarabellasays,andIclosemyeyes.
“Canwenotdothisrightnow?”Ilookatthemastheyglareateachother.“Therehastobeareason.”Ilookaround,smilingatpeoplewhoarearrivingandholdingupmyhandtosayhello.“Givemeaphone.”Ilookatthethreeofthem.“Someone,givemeaphone.”Irunoutofpatience.
Clarabellahandsmeherphone,andIdialJoseph’snumber,puttingthephonetomyearandtryingnottofreakoutexternally.Internally,however,I’mafuckingmessHowisthishappening?Whyisn’thehere?Ishedead?Ishakemyheadtogetthatthoughtoutofmyhead.Iwaitforhimtoanswer,countingtoteninmyhead.“Answerthephone,”Imumbleandturnaroundsonoonecanseethetearsthatareforminginmyeyes.Thephonepicksup,andIfeelbetteruntilIheartheautomaticmessage.
“Hi,youreachedJoseph,”Ihearhisvoicesay,“Ican’ttakeyourcallrightnow.”Ilookovermyshoulderatthefourofthem,whojustlookatme.
“Hey,it’sme.Canyoucallmeback?”Ihangupthephoneandlookbackatthem.“Hedidn’tanswer.”
“Maybehe’sbusy,”Clarabellaoffers.“Butnotdead.”
“Youaretheworst.”PresleyturnstoClarabella,andIthinkshe’sgoingtohither.
“He’snotdead,”Travissays.“Whywouldyouevensaythat?”Heshakeshishead.“He’sgoingtobehere.”Heputshishandsinhispocketsnow.“Andifheisn’t,I’llgooutandfindhimmyself.”
Ilookdownatthephone,blinkingawaythetearsandtryingtotellmyselfthatit’sgoingtobeokay.MyhandsshakewiththephoneasIwillittoringwhenhandsareonmyarms.IlookupandseeAce.“Hey,”hesayssoftly.“Youknowwhathe’sprobablydoing?”Ilookintohisblueeyes.
“Notdying.”Presleyleansin,andIhavetolaughasIwipethecornerofmyeye.
“Yes,he’snotdying,”Aceassuresme.“He’soutbuyingyouagift.”
Clarabellasnapsherfingersandthenpoints.“Yessss,”shesaysasifshesolvedthewholething.“He’sgettingyouabride’sgift.”
“Thathastobeit.”Travissmilesatme.
“Youknowmen,”PresleysaysassheleersatTravis.“Theyalwayswaituntilthelastminutetodoeverything.”AndthenatAce.
“Whatisthatlookevenfor?”Heglaresbackather.“WhyamIgettingthatlook?”Heshakeshisheadandlooksbackatme”Weweretalkingaboutittoday,”hesays.“That’swhyheislate.”
Inodmyhead,notsureIcansayanything.“Youknowwhatweneed?”Clarabellasays,lookingaroundandholdingupherfingertowardMallory,whojustnodsather.Clarabellaturnsandlooksbackatme.“Youaregoingtograbaglassofchampagne,andthenyouaregoingtogooutthereandminglewithyourguests.”Shemotionswithherhand.“Imean,wearen’tevenstartinganythinguntilsixthirty,sohehasenoughtimetogethere.”
“Yes,”Aceagrees.“Besides,youknowhe’salwayslate.”Hetriestocomfortme,rubbinghishandsupanddownmyarms.“It’sagoodthinghe’llbesleepingatmyhousetonight.”
“Yes.”IsmileandpushawaythenaggingfeelingthatI’mgettingnow.“I’msurehe’sfine,”IsayandlookoveratMallory,whowalksoverwiththesamesilvertraythatshehadwhenshecametogreetmeatmyofficedoor.
“Hereyougo,”sheoffers,handingmetheglassofchampagne,andAcedropshishandsfrommyarmsandstandsnexttome.
“Okay,”Isay,takingasip.Thesweetcoldbubblychampagnehitsmytongue.“Weneedtogooutthereandpretendthateverythingisokay.”Ilookatthemastheyallnodatme.“Wetakesectionsoftheplaceandworkourwayaround.IfanyonehearsfromJoseph..”
“We’llcomeandgetyou,”Clarabellasays,smilingatmeandnoddingasIwalkawayfromthem.
“He’sgoingtobehere,”Travisreassuresme,turningandwalkingtowardHarlow,whostandstalkingtooneofmyaunts.
Ilookaroundtheroom,spottingmymotherstandingbythefrontdoorgreetingpeople.Shesmilesatthemanwhowalksinandthenturnstolookatme.Hereyesmeetmine,andhersmilestartstofade,butthensheturnsitbackonasshemakesherwaytome.She’swearingababy-blueoff-the-shoulderdressthatgoesdowntothefloor.Herblondhairisinaperfectbobwithastringofpearlsaroundherneck.She’sbeenwithoutmyfatherforawhilenow,andallshedoesismakesurethatweareallright.“Hi,”shesays,leaningtowardmetokissmycheeks.“Whyareyoucrying?”
“I’mnotcrying.”Idon’tlookbackather.Instead,Itakeanotherdrinkofmychampagne.
“Youforgetwhoyouaretalkingto.”Sheside-eyesmeandsmiles,noddingherheadatsomeonewhojustwavedather
“It’snothing.Mightbenerves,”Ishare,notreadytoadmitthatsomethingmightbewrongbecauseIdon’tknow.“Didmydressarrive?”Iask,andshenods.“Whatabouttheheadpiece?Diditfinallycomein?”Shesmilesandnods.I’mgoingthroughthechecklistinmyheadtokeepmymindoffwhatisreallygoingon.“Didmypjsfortomorrowmorninggetsteamed?”
She’sabouttosaysomethingwhenIseePresleyrunningtowardus.“It’sJoseph.”Shehandsmethephone,andmyshouldersslumpjustatouch.
“Hello.”Iputthephonetomyearandhearthathe’sinthecar.
“Hey,honey,”hesays.“I’msosorryI’mlate.I’maroundthecorner.”
“That’sokay,”Ireply,butinside,Iknowit’snotokay,andifitwasanyothertime,Iwouldprobablyfreakoutmoreifthereweren’tsomanypeoplearoundme.“Justgetherewhenyoucan,”Isayanddisconnect,puttingawaytheangerIhaveinme.
“He’sfine,”IinformPresley.“He’sonhisway.Willbehereinacoupleofminutes.”
“I’llgoandtellthevalettokeepalookoutforhim,”shetellsmeandsqueezesmyhandwhenshetakesthephone.“It’salmostshowtime.”
“Almost.”Ismileather,tryingtopretendI’mokay.ItakeanothersipofmychampagnewhenIlookupandseeSheilawalkingintothevenue.Acespotsherrightawayandwalkstoherwithasmileonhisface.
Ican’thelpbutsmilewhenIlookatthem.TheystarteddatingacoupleofmonthsafterJosephandIdid.WehadsomanydoubledatesthatI’vegrownveryclosetoherandconsiderheroneofmybestfriends.
MyeyesgotothedoorwhenIseeJosephwalkingin.Hisblacksuitlookslikehejustputiton,hisblondhairlookslikehejustranhishandthroughit,anditevenlookslikeit’swetintheback.“Hey.”Hesmileswhenheseesmeandbendstokissmylips.“SorryI’mlate.”
“Noworries,”Isay,ignoringthepullinmystomach.“Nowthatyou’rehere.”Iputdowntheglassinmyhandandclapmyhands.“Let’sgettheshowontheroad.”Chapter3
Shelby
“Let’sgettheshowontheroad,”JosephrepeatsfrombesidemeasIsmellhisaftershave.Heputshishandinmine,andpicksupmyhand,andbringsittohislips.“Youlooknice,”hesayswithasmirk.
“Thankyou,”Isay,tryingtotellmyselfthatit’sallgoodthathe’shere,butI’mpissedheshowedupsolate.
“Oh,lookwhoshowedup,”Presleydeclares,givinghimasideglare.
“So,he’snotdeadafterall,”Clarabellaadds,comingupbehindher.
“What?”heasks,confused,lookingatmysistersandthenturningtolookatme.Hiseyebrowsarepressedtogether.
“Nothing.”Ishakemyhead.“Canwejustgetonwithit?”Isaybetweenclenchedteeth.
“Yes,let’s,”Presleysays,andsheturns,clappingherhands.“IfIcanhaveeveryone’sattention,”sheannounces,andeveryonestopstalkingandlooksoveratus.Shestartsdirectingpeopletotheirplaces.Joseph’shandslipsoutofmine,andIseehimwalkingtowardhisparents.Hismothersmilesathim,andheshakeshisfather’shandashegoesinforasidehug.
I’musuallytheonewhodoesallofthis,butwithmebeingthebride,Presleyistakingoverthispart.“Ineedyoutostandrightthere,”shetellsmeasshepullsmeoutofthevenuespace,andIseeClarabellaandSheilacomingovertome.
“Youlookabsolutelystunning,”Sheilacomplimentsoncesheseesme.“I’msosorryIwaslate.Iwasstuckintraffic,andthenIcouldn’tfindmybagfortomorrow.”Sheshakesherhead.“Itwasamess.”Herblondhairispiledontopofherheadwithsoftcurlscomingoutontheside,hergreeneyesmadeupwithasmokylook,makingthempopmore.
“Okay,Sheila,”Presleydirects.“Ineedyoutowalkdowntheaisle,countingtothreeeverytimeyoutakethenextstep.”Sheilanodsatherandwalksdowntheaisleaswedoarun-throughforthenextday.IttakesaboutanhourforustogetitthewaythatPresleythinksworks,andIwon’tevenbothertellingherthatit’sprobablygoingtonotberightatall,butit’llbeokay.
“Timeforustoeat,”Josephsaysfrombesideme,andeveryonewalksovertothetablesthataresetuptoeat.“Areyouhungry?”hesmilesatmeandasks.
“Yeah,”Ianswer,andIcan’ttellyouwhatIfeelrightnow.It’safeelingIdon’tthinkIwouldbeabletoexplain.Hewalksovertothetableandpullsoutthechairforme.IsitdownandwaitforeveryonetositMallorycomesoverandfillsupthechampagneglassesatthetable.
“Youokay?”Aceasksfrombesideme,andInodmyhead.“Youlookpale.”
“Thanks,”Itellhim,andhejustlaughs.
“Youarefine.”HeshakeshisheadandlooksoveratSheila,whojustsitstheretalkingtoClarabellanexttoher.
“IfIcanhaveeveryone’sattention.”Josephstandsup,clickingthechampagneglassinfrontofhimwithaspoon.ThewholeroomgoesquietasPresleysitsnexttohimintheemptyseatrightnexttoHarlow.“Ijustwanttothankeveryoneforcomingouttonight,”hesays.“AndforShelbynotrippingintomeforbeinglate,”hejokes,andeveryoneelselaughs.Helooksdownatme,andallIcandoisfakeasmileasalleyesareonme.“Butalljokingaside.”Heputshishandonmyshoulder.“Ican’twaituntiltomorrow.Loveyou,honey.”Heleansdownandkissesmylips.“Cheers.”Heholdsuphisglass,andIlookaroundaseveryonepicksuptheirglassesandholdsthemtowardus.Igrabmyglassandholditup.
“Wesaidnospeechesuntiltomorrow,”Clarabellaremindshimwhileshesmilesatus.“Someonedidn’tgetthememo.”
“Someonecanhearjustfine,”Josephreplies,sittingdown.“Iwasjustsayingthankyou.”Heputshishandaroundmychairnow.“Itwasokay,right?”heasks,andIjustnodmyheadasaplateoffoodisputinfrontofme.
“Youaretooquiet,”Acesaysfrombesideme.“Andthatshouldscareanyone.”
“I’mjustthinkingabouttomorrow,”Itellhim.“Whenit’syourturn”—Ismileathim,knowingthattomorrow,hewillbeproposingtoSheila—”I’llberemindingyouwhenyougetquietallofasudden.”
“Nah,”hedenies,grabbinghisbottleofbeer.“Withyouhandlingeverything,Iknowitwillbeperfect.”
Ifinallylaughforthefirsttimetoday.“Touché,”Itellhim,grabbingmyownglass.“Touché.”
“Okay,it’stimeforthebridetohittheroad,”Clarabelladirects.“Wehaveawholenightofpamperinganddrinkingtogetonwith.”
“Arewereallydoingthewholenotseeingeachotheruntiltheweddingday?”Josephshakeshishead,gettingup.“It’sprettystupid.”
“Soisshowinguplate,butitiswhatitis.”Clarabellashrugs,andhejustlooksather.“Youcansurvivethenightwithouther.”
“He’llbefine,”Acesays,standingup.”Besides,he’sstayingwithmetonight.”HeputshishandonJoseph’sshoulder.“Ihaveallsortsofthingsplannedforus,”hejokeswithhim.“Butit’smainlyjustuswatchingsportsanddrinkingbeer.”
“ThatIcando,”Josephaffirms,gettingupandputtinghislinennapkinonthetableandtuckinginhischair.HeleansdownandkissesmylipsbeforewalkingoutwithAceandSheila,leavingmealonewithmysistersandmybrother.
Istandup.“Ican’tbelievethistimetomorrowyou’llbemarried,”Travissaysasthefourofuswalkoutofthevenue.“Liketwomoretogo.”
“Hey,watchyourmouth,”Clarabellaclips.“Noonewantsthisnegativityaroundthem.”Sheholdsupherhandtowardmybrother”Don’tputthatshitintotheuniverse.”
Wealllaughather.“I’mgoingtobealonewolf,”Presleyclaims,andIhavetostopandjustlaughather.ShehasbeentryingtoskatearoundBennett,mybrother’sbestfriend,forthelastfouryears,butweallseeit.
“Letmegetyouhome,”Travissuggests,openingthedriver’sdoor.“SoMomcanstopblowingupmyphone.”ItakeonemorelookatthevenuebeforeIsitdowninthecar;thewholeridetomymother’shouse,allIcandoislookoutthewindow.Somanythingsaregoingthroughmyhead,andallIcandoistrytotalkmyselfofftheledge.
WhenIfinallygetintomymother’shouse,I’mshockedwhenIwalkintothedoor.Herlivingroomhasbeentransformedintoamassagearea.Threemassagetablesareupwiththemasseusesbehindthemjustsmilingatus.”Thisisserenitylane,”mymothersayswithahugesmileonherface.AllIcandoisstareatitwithmymouthhangingopen.
“Thereismore,”sheshares,lookingattheothersideofthehousewherethediningroomisusuallyset,andtherearebowlsofwaterandmassagechairswaitingtobefilledwiththreemanicuretables.“Allwewantisforyoutorelaxandunwind.”
Shecomestomeandhandsmeaglassofchampagne.“Welcometoyourlastnightoffreedom.”Clarabellaleansovertome.“Now,yougoupstairsandchange.”Shepointsatthestairs,andInodmyhead,walkinguptotheroomthatIhadwhenIwasateenager.IopenthedoorseeingaplushwhiterobeonthebedwiththewordBrideembroideredinpink.Ifinishtheglassofchampagneandputitbesidemeonthebedsidetable.
Isitdownonthebed,andthenervesinmystomachcomebackasIpickuptherobeinmyhand.Myfingerstrailoverthestitchesacrossthebackoftherobe.“Thisiseverythingyou’vewanted,”Itellmyself,tryingtocalmmyheartbeatthatisgoingamillionmilesaminute”Tomorrow,youwillwalkdowntheaisle,andit’llbeallover.”
Thereisaknockonthedoor,andIlookup,andIdon’tevennoticethatIamteary-eyeduntilthetearfallsoffmychin.“Oh,God,don’tyoustartalso,”Clarabellasays,comingintotheroomwithmyphoneinherhand.“WejusthadtomakeMombreatheintoapaperbag.Shewashyperventilatingandthensnotcrying.”Sheshakesherhead,sittingdownnexttome.
“I’mfine,”Iassureher,lookingather.“Imean,itfeelsjustweird.”
“It’snormal,”shetellsme.“It’slikeabigdeal.”
“Wearearoundbridesallthetime,sothisshouldbeapieceofcakeforme.”Itakeadeepsighinandthenlookattheceiling.
“It’sdifferentwhenyou’rethebride,”Clarabellasays.“Youhaveallthesethingsgoingthroughyourhead,butyouknowthatwe’vetakencareofeverything.”AndIknowshehas.“Everythingisordered,andwehavepeoplesleepingatthevenuetomakesurenothinggoeswrong.”Igaspinshock.“Thisisnotourfirstrodeo.”Sheshakesherhead.“NowIwantyoutochangeoutofthatfabulousdressandgetyourskinnycarb-freeassdownstairstogetpampered,andwecantalkabouthowJosephisthelastpenisyou’lleversee.”Igaspwhensheopensthedoor.“Forever,”shewhispers,makingmelaugh.
Ishakemyheadandgetuptoslipoutofmydresswhenmyphonebeepsfromthebed.Ipickitup,notknowingthatitwillchangethecourseofmylife.Ipickitup,notexpectingthatatthatmoment,mywholelifeisgoingtochange.Ipickitupinnocently.Theonlythinggoingthroughmymindismewalkingdowntheaisle.IpickitupwithasmileonmyfacewhenIseeit’sfromJoseph,andit’sanemail.MyfingerhoversoveritasIpressthenotificationtoopenit,andjustlikethat,myhouseofcardscomesfallingdown!Chapter4
Ace
“Aren’tyougoingtochangeoutofyoursuit?”IaskJosephwhenIwalkdownthestepstothelivingroom.“Youwerebitchinginthecarthatyoufeltsuffocated.”Wegothomefromtheweddingrehearsalaboutthirtyminutesago.ThefirstthingIdidwaswalkupstairstomybedroomandputonmygymshortsandaT-shirt.Ithoughthewasgoingtodothesame,butnowthatIthinkaboutit,Ididn’tseehimbringinhisbag.
“Yeah,inabit,”Josephsays,lookingupfromhisphone.Heisinthemiddleofthecouch,hisfingersflying,goingamillionmilesaminute.Thetelevisionisonoverthefireplace,playingthehighlightsofallthebaseballgamesthataregoingonrightnow
“Beerorwhiskey?”Iask,andhebarelylooksupatme.
“Whateveryouwanttohave,”hemumbles,andIwalkintothekitchenrightoffthefamilyroom.WhenIwentlookingforhouses,IknewthatIwantedtobuyahousewhereIcouldstartafamily.Thekitchenareaiswhatsoldmeonthewholehouse.Thereisamassiveislandinthemiddlewithstoolsallarounditthatfacesthefridgeandstove,andIcanjustseeeveryonecomingtogetherinthisspot.
Pullingopenthedouble-doorstainless-steelfridge,Iseethatmycleaningladymadesurethatit’sstockedfortheweekend.Iseethepreparedmealsontheshelveswithfruitrightnexttoit.
Igrabtwobottlesofbeerfromthedoor.Eventhoughthehousehasanamazingkitchen,I’vecookedinitmaybetwiceinoverayear.IopentwodrawersbeforeIfinallyfindthebottleopener,andIhavetolaughatmyselfandmakeamentalnotethatI’mgoingtocookformyselfatleasttwiceaweekstartingnextweek.Oratleastgettoknowwhatisinthedrawersandinthecabinets.
“Hereyougo.”Iwalkoutofthekitchentowardthefamilyroomwithtwobottlesofbeerinmyhand.IsitnexttohimonthelongL-shapedbigcomfycouchandholdoutmyhand,offeringJosephoneofthebeers.Iseethathe’sstillonhisphone,hiseyebrowspinchedtogetherashisfingersstillgo.“Whatareyoudoing?”Itakeapullfrommybeerasheslouchesdownonthecouchwithhiscellphoneinhishand.Hepressesthesendbuttonandfinallylooksoveratme.
“Justsentoutalast-minuteemailbeforeIleaveforsevendaysonmyhoneymoon.”Hereachesoutforhisbeerwhileheputsthephonedownonhischestoncehegoesbacktohisoriginalposition.
“Alwaysgrinding.”Ismileathim,andhejustlaughs.
“Well,Idohaveyoutothankforthisjob,”hesays,holdinguphisbeertome.Ileanoverandclicktheneckofmybeertohis.HegraduatedayearaftermeinfinanceHehadnodirectiontowherehewantedtogo.IinvitedhimtocomeandstaywithmeforacoupleofweekstoseeifhecouldgetajobatthelocalbanksinceIknewthebranchmanager.HewashiredaweekafterhemovedhereHeistryingtobuildhisclientportfoliotostarthisownfinancialplanningbusiness.
“Anythingforyou,”Isay,takingapullofmybeer.JosephandIhavebeenbestfriendssincewewereinelementaryschool.Alwaysinthesamesports.Alwaysonthesameteam.Hewasmoreofabrothertomethanafriend.ThereisnothingthatIwouldn’tdoforhim.Alwaysattachedatthehipuntilcollege.Webothappliedtothesamecollege,buthedidn’tgetin,sowewentourseparateways.Luckily,wewerealwaysintouchwitheachother.
“IthoughtIwouldbemoreadvancedinmyjob,that’sforsure.”Hetakesapullofhisbeer.Itiscomingtohimslowerthanhewantsittocome,whichirritateshim.Heneverdidhavepatience.
“It’llcome.”Itrytoencouragehim,andhejustrollshiseyes.Ilaughathim.Webothhaddifferentschoolyears.Ihitthebookshardwhileherodethepartytrainuntilthebitterend.
“Thisfromtheguywhogothisownteamwithinayear.”Hechuckles,andIjustlookoverathim,confused.
“Ibustedmyass.”Isitupnow.“Dayinanddayout,sevendaysaweek.”WhenIgotchosenformyinternshipatoneofthebiggestmergerandacquisitioncompaniesintheStates,Iwassoexcited.Iworkedeighty-hourweeks,anditpaidoffbecausewhenIgraduated,theyofferedmeanewbranchtheywereopeninginmyhometown.Itwasano-brainerthatIwouldtakethejob,plusbuildingmyownteam.
“Yeah,yeah,”Josephsays,smilingatme,andtheworrythatwasonhisfacebeforeisgone.“ThisisprobablywhytheystartedcallingyouAceinelementaryschool.”Itstartedinsixthgradewhenoneoftheteacherscalledmethat,andtheotherkidslaughedandthoughttheyweredissingmebycallingmeAce,butattheendoftheday,it’sthecoolestnickname.IthoughtIwouldgrowoutofit,butitstayedwithme.VeryfewpeoplecallmeWeston,andiftheydo,it’sbecausetheydon’tknowmeverywell.
Ishakemyhead.“ItwasprobablythestraightAs,”Ijokewithhimandturntolookathim.“ButI’mhopingitwasbecauseIwasacoolkid.”
Helaughs,slappinghisleg.“Theonlythingcoolaboutyouinhighschoolwasme.”Hepointsathimself.
“Fuckoff.”Ishakemyhead.“Iwasthestarquarterback.”
“OnlybecauseIwassickwithfoodpoisoning,”hecounters,andIfliphimthebird.
“Youreadyfortomorrow?”Iaskashetakesapullofhisbeer.Hejustlooksoveratmeandshrugs.
“Iguess.”Istarttolaugh.“WhatdoyoumeanifI’mreadyfortomorrow?”
“Areyoureadytogetmarriedtomorrow?”Ishakemyhead,takingapullofmybeer.Thebaseballgameonthetelevisionisplayinginthebackground.
“Isanyoneeverreadytogetmarried?”heasks,andmyheadwhipsaroundtolookathim.Hechucklesandlooksatme.“Areyoureadytogetmarried?”
Ithinkaboutthequestion.“I’mnotevenengagedyet.”Ilaugh.“ButI’mexcitedtostartanotherchapterinmylife,”Ianswerhimhonestly.“Becomingahusbandishuge,andI’mreadyforitandthenhopefullyafathersoonafter.ButthatisallinSheila’scourt.Shetellsmewhenshe’sready,andwecanstart.”Hejustnodshisheadandtakesanotherpullofhisbeer.SheilaandIhavebeentogetheralittlelessthanayear.Wemetwhilewaitinginlineforcoffeeoneday.Shesmashedintomeassheturned,andhericedcoffeewentalloverus.Onethingledtoanother,andwewentonadateacoupleofdayslater.Slowly,wejustgotintothegrooveofdatingeachother.Ithelpedsomuchthatshegotalongwithmyfriendssoeasily,especiallyShelby.Itwasn’talwayseasy,thatisforsureIhadtocancelacoupleofdatesbecauseofwork,butshealwaysunderstood.Sheisbuildinghercareerasagraphicdesignerandknowshowhardittakestogrowyourbusiness.
“Aren’tyoureadyforallofthat?”Iwatchtheplayonthescreenbeforelookingoverathimandseeinghimwithafarawaylookonhisface.
“Iguess,”hesays,pullinganothersipofbeer.
“Shelbyisamazing,”Isay,andhelooksatme.It’snoliethatshe’samazing.FromthefirstdayImetherduringabusinessclass,somethingwithusjustclicked.Wehadthesamegoalsandstudiedthesameway,soitwasamazingtofindsomeonelikeher.Themoretimewespenttogether,themoreIlikedher.Whentheystarteddating,Iwasdefinitelysurprised.Ineverthoughtthetwoofthemwereagoodfit.EspeciallysinceShelbyisa“straightandnarrow”kindofperson,andJosephisareally“flybytheseatofyourpants”kindofguy.Butafterspendingtimewiththem,Isawthatoppositesattract.“You’realuckyman.”
Henodshisheadatme.“I’mnottheonlyonewhoislucky.Sheila,”hesays,shakinghisheadandpullinganothersipfromhisbeer.“She’sperfect.”
“Thatsheis,”Iagreewithhim.“Lookatus,man.”Ilookoverathim.
“IneverthoughtIwouldseethedaywhenyousettleddown.”Ilookoverathim.ItwasnosecretthewomenlovedJoseph,andJosephlovedthewomen.Allthroughhighschoolandcollegeandthenevenwhenhemovedhere,butwhenhemetShelby,hestopped.
“NeitherdidI,tobehonest.”Hetakesadeepbreathandgetsup.“Butyougottogrowupsomeday,andhowgoodisithavingakick-assbossladyatyourside.”Hewinksatmeandturnstowalktowardthestairs.“I’mgoingtogoshower.”Hewalksupthestepsandstops.“Ifit’smeanttobe,itwillbe,right?”Hejustlooksatmeforasecond,andhe’sabouttotellmesomething,butthenheturnsandwalksupthestepswithhisshouldersslumped.
“Whatinthefuckisgoingon?”Iaskoutloud,andthenItakeapullofmybeer.Thistime,ittastesbittergoingdown.
Pickingupmyphone,IdialSheila,whoanswersaftertworings.“Hello.”Hervoiceislow.
“Hey,it’sme,”Isay.“Wereyousleeping?”
“Yeah,IguessImusthavedozedoff,”shesays.Hervoicesoundsgroggy,anditalmostsoundsasifshe’scrying.“Iseverythingokay?”
“Yeah,Iwasjustcallingtosaygoodnight.”Ismileandlooktowardthecoffeetableinthemiddleoftheroom.Thepictureofthetwoofusisfacingdownonthetable.Leaningforward,Ipickuptheframe,seeingthepictureofthetwoofuswhenwehadourfirstdate.IplaceitbackupnexttothepictureofthefourofustakenfourmonthsagoonNewYear’sEve.Thefourofussmilingnexttoeachother.
“Okay,”shesayssoftly.“I’llseeyoutomorrow.”
“Yeah,I’llbetheonebesidethegroom,”Ijokewithher,waitingforhertogiveanything,butshedoesn’t.
“I’llbethefirstonedowntheaisle.”Shetriestojokebackwithme,buthertoneisalloutofwhack.
“Night,”Isay,andshehangsup,andIlookatmyphone.
“Ichangedmymind,”IhearJosephmumblewhenhecomesbackdownstairswithjusthisboxerson.Ilookathimashewalksintothekitchen,andIhearhimrumblingthroughthings.IhearthecupboarddoorskeepslammingandallIcandoiswaitforhimtocomeout.Whenhewalksout,he’sholdingabottleofwhiskeyinhishand.“Definitelyneedacoupleofshotsofthistonight.”Heunscrewsthetopandtakesadeeppullofit.“Wantsome?”Heoffersmethebottle,andIjustshakemyhead.
“Weddingnightjitters.”Ilaugh,leaningforward.
“Iguessso,”hesays,takinganotherpull.“It’llbefine,”hesaysmoretohimselfthanmeashetakesanothergulpofwhiskey.“It’llbejustfine.”Chapter5
Shelby
“Wecan’tbelate,”mymothersays,walkingoutofthehouse.Actually,it’smorelikesheisrunningoutofthehouse.
“Yes,wecan’tbelate,”Imumble,walkingdownthestepsofmyfamilyhome,thefestivitiesoflastnightalreadycleanedup.“Howlonghasshebeenupfor?”Iaskmysisters,whocomeintheroomlookingasgoodasIfeel.Allthreeofusaredraggingourasses.
“Shecameintomyroomatfivetotalk,”Clarabellasays.“Can’tbelieveIdidn’tlockthedoor.”
Iwalkoutofthehouse,andIhavetosquintwhenthesunhitsmyeyes.“It’ssobright,”Iwhine,lookingoveratmysisters,whoarewearingthesamethingI’mwearing.Whitesatinpantsandabutton-downshort-sleevesatinshirt.Eachshirthasourrolesonitembroideredinpink.Brideisonmine,andIlookdown,andIwanttoripitoff.
I’mabouttowalkupstairswhenIhearthehorngoingandlookbacktoseemymotherwithherheadoutofthewindow.”Wearegoingtobelate!”sheyellsandthensmiles.“Mybabyisgettingmarried!”shescreamsandhonksthehornagain.
“Mom,it’sseveno’clock,”Clarabellahissesather.“IfIwasyourneighbor,Iwouldcallthecopsonyou,”shehuffs,walkingdownthestairs,andIseeMaidofHonorNumber1onthebackofhershirt.
“Mightaswellgetinthecar,”Presleysays,huffingandwalkingpastme.“Orelseshe’sgoingtopullyoukickingandscreamingallthewaytothefuckingaltar.”
“Well,that’sapicturethatI’dlovetosee,”Ihuff,closingthedoorbehindme,andIwalktowardthecar.
“Itoldyougirlsnottostayuplate,”mymotherscoldswhenIgetintothecar.“IsaidthatitwasabadideawhenyoutookoutthespecialsweetteathatHarlow’sgrandfathermakes.”
“Mom,alittlelessjudgment,”Clarabellasaysfromthebackseat.“Andalittlemoredrivingtogetmecoffee.”
“Iagreewithher,”Presleyadds.“Allsheneedsiscoffee,andshe’llfeelbetter.”
IclosemyeyesasthecarstartsgoingandallIcandoisseethewordsthatIreadlastnight.OverandoveragainlikeabillboardinTimesSquare.Iopenmyeyeswhenthecarstopsrightinfrontofwherethebridalsuiteissetup.Balloonsareallinfront,andMalloryistherewaitingforus.
“Here,putthison,”Clarabellasaysfrombesideme,handingmeblacksunglasses.
“Why?”Iaskher,andmyheadfeelslikeitweighsoverathousandpounds.IblinkandsuddenlyrealizeIhadtearsinmyeyes.
“Becauseyoulooklikeshit,”Presleyinformsme.
“Canweallbenicetoyoursister?Thisisherweddingday!”mymotherhissesatPresleyandthenlooksinthebackatme.“Perhapsmaybeyoushouldputtheglasseson,dear.”
“Wow,”Isayoutloud,puttingtheglassesonandgettingout.
“Happyweddingday,”Mallorygreets,comingoutfromthesuitewithasmileonherface,andshestopsmidstep.“Oh,dear.”
“It’sgoingtobefine,”Ihiss.“Wejustneediceandmaybesomethingtodrink.”
Iwalktothedoorandpullitopen,steppingin,andIstopinmytracks.Mysisterswentallout.Thereisawhiteveilhangingfromthetwosidesthatlooklikecurtains.Itakeastepinandseethatmydressisonamannequininthemiddleoftheroomonapedestal.Thethreedressesarehangingupbehindmine.Thephotographerisalreadytakingpictures,andmystomachlurches.IthinkI’mgoingtobesick.
“Isn’titbeautiful?”Ihearmymotherfrombesideme.Sheputsanarmaroundmyshoulderandkissesmyforehead.“It’ssobeautiful.”AllIcandoislookaround.Allthewallsarecoveredwithwhitecurtains.Aplushwhitecouchsitsinthemiddleofthewallwithtwomonsterwhiteflowerarrangementsbesideitonwhitepillarstands.Twomoreareontheflooroneachsideofthecouchwithglassvasesfilledwithwaterandfloatingcandles.
“It’sthemostbeautifulroomI’veseen,”Iconfirm,lookingaroundateverythingtheydid.
“Goodmorning,”IhearfrombehindmeandseeSheilacomingin.“Happyweddingday,”shesays,smilingatme,andIsmileback.“Thisroom.”Shelooksaround.“It’sbeyondperfect.”Shecomesandhugsme.“I’msoexcitedforyou.”
“Thankyou,”Isaywhensheletsmego,andIlookatherandthenlookbehindher,seeingthatthemakeupartistsarearrivingaswellasthehairdresser.
“Okay,people,”Clarabellaannounces,comingintotheroom.“Thereisnoeatinginthewhiteroom.”Thenshelooksatme.“Comeandseethesalonwesetup.”
Iwalkwithherintothenextroomandseealongwhitetablewithhangingmirrorsinfrontofitwithfourwhitechairs.“Gochange.”Shemotionsmetowardthebathroom.“Okay,weneedeveryoneintheirrobes,please.”Inodatherandwalktothebathroom,notsayinganythingtoanyone.Iavoidlookinginthemirror,andwhenIgrabthewhitesatinrobe,Iwanttotearitinhalf.Instead,Iputitonandslidemyfeetintothewhitesatinslippersandwalkout.
IseePresleytalkingtothephotographer.“Therewillbenopicturesuntilshehasfoundationon.”Shelooksatme,andIlookovertoseeSheilainherownpeachrobecomingout.
“Areyounervous?”sheasks,puttingherhandtoherstomach.“Ican’tevenimaginehownervousIwillbewhenithappens.”
“I’matouchnervous,”Iadmit,puttingmyhandstomystomach.“ButI’mmarryingthemanwhoIlove,soIknowattheendofthedayit’llbeworthit.”Shesmilesatmesobigwithtearsinhereyes.
“Ineverthoughtofitlikethat.”Sheleansinandputsherarmaroundme”Thankyouformakingmepartofyourspecialdayandforacceptingmewithopenarms.”
“Well,ifAcelovesyou”—Iswallowdownthelump—”thenIknowyou’reagreatperson.”
“Okay,canwegetstarted?”Clarabellaclapsherhandstogether.“Wearethreeminutesoffschedule.”Shelooksatme.“Gositinthechair.”
Iwalktothechair,takeoffmyglasses,andlookupatmymakeupartist.“Itwasaroughnight,”Isay,finallylookingatmyselfinthemirror.MyeyesaresopuffyI’msurprisedIcanopenthem,andmynosecangiveRudolpharunforhismoney.“Damn,”Isay,laughingnow.“Nomoretears,Ipromise.”
“Oh,please,thisisn’teventheworstI’veseen,”sheliestomeandgoestograbaneyemaskwithcoolinggelinside.“Thisshouldhelpbutnomoretears.”
“Nomoretears,”Itellher,smiling.“I’mgettingmarried.”Thestingingoftearscomes,butIfightthemback.
I’mdoingmyhairwhenPresleycomesoverwithherownhairincurlers.“Thisisforyou.”Shehandsmeamimosa.“Howareyoudoing?”
Likemyworldisspinningaroundme,Ialmostsay.“LikeI’mgettingmarried.”Ismileather,andshejustnodsatme
Idrinkthemimosainonegulp,andMallorycomesandhandsmeanotheroneandwinksatme.AllIcandoissmile;thesmileisplasteredonmyfacesomuchthatIthinkmyfacewillcrack.Themaskcomesoff,andtheswellingisdown.Bythetimeshe’sdonewithmymakeup,itdoesn’tevenshow.
“Howareyouholdingup?”Clarabellalooksoveratmewhileshegetsherhairpinnedup.
“AsgoodasIcanbe,”Isay,grabbingmybottleofwaterandtakingasip.
“Well,ifit’sanyconsolation.”Clarabellalooksatme,andsheblinksawayherowntears.“Youlookstunning.”
Iblinkawaymyowntearsandfanmyface.“Don’tmakethebridecry!”themakeupartistyellsather.Turningmyheadandlaughing,IseeSheila,andweshareasmile.
“Okay,everyone,”Presleysays.“It’sdresstime.”
Ilookatmyselfinthemirror,anditisexactlyhowIalwaysenvisionedIwouldlookonmyweddingday.Myhairispushedbackononesidewithadiamondheadpiecewhiletheothersideissleekandcurled.Myblueeyesshinewithlightsmokyeyes,andallIcandoisputahandtomystomachasthebutterfliesstarttocomefullforce.
“Youlookbeautiful,”mymothersaysfrombesideme,andIlookatherandseeherdabthecornerofhereyes.
“Mom,”Clarabellachastises.“IfIseeonetearcomeoutofher.”
“Wouldyouhushyourmouth,”shehissesather.“Anddon’ttellmewhattodo.”Sheturnstolookatme.“Idon’tnecessarilycareforthisnewClarabella.Icanonlydealwithonepersonthatway,andit’syou.”
Forthefirsttimesincelastnight,Ithrowmyheadbackandlaugh.“Well,aftertoday,she’llbebacktothecarefreeClarabellathatweallknowandlove.”
“Ihatetobreakupthismoment,”Mallorysays.“Butyouguysarefiveminutesbehindschedule.”
Inodather,andeverythingisawhirlwindaroundme.I’mplacedeverywherewhilepicturesarebeingsnapped.Ismileforallthepictures,andIfeellikeI’mhavinganout-of-bodyexperience.Everythingisablur,andImean,everythingexceptforonething.
Islipintomydress,andwhenIlookatmyselfinthemirror,Iwaitforthebutterfliestocome,butnothinghappens.IdoeverythingandfolloweverysinglestepthatIneedtodo.IwalkintothevenueandspotTravisinhissuit,waitingforme.
MymotherwalksinwithSheilabehindher.“Areyousureaboutthis?”Travisasks,andIlookupathim.
“It’snottoolatetochangeyourmind,”Clarabellasays,blinkingawayherowntears.
“Whateveryouwanttodo,wearegoingtodoit,”Presleyconfirms,andnomatterwhatitis,herowneyesareglisteningintears.“Ijustwantyoutobesure.”
“Idon’tknowifit’srightorwrong,”Iadmit,thelumpinmythroatgettingbigger.“ButI’msureaboutthis.”Inodmyhead,blinkingawaymyowntears.“Areyouguysready?”
Thethreeofthemsharealookandthenlookatme,smirking.“Always.”Chapter6
Shelby
MysisterslineupbehindSheilaandlookoveratme,notknowingifI’mstillgoingtogothroughwiththis.Igivethemasilentnod,andtheyturntolookforward.Sheilawalksinfirst,andthewhitebouquetinmyhandsstartstoshake.Thetopofthedresssuddenlyfeelslikeit’sgettingtighterandtighteronmyribs.IlookdownattheCinderelladressthatIputonlessthananhourago.Itisatraditionthateverygirldreamsof,butitwashardtofakeasmileknowingwhatIdid.MymotherhelpedmegetdressedjustlikeI’vealwaysdreamed.Shefastenedthefiftylittlebuttonsthatgoupmyback.Adauntingtaskbutoneshewasadamantaboutdoing.
OnethatIwantedtosaynotoorelseeveryonewouldgetsuspicious,soinstead,Ismiledforthecamera.Mynerveswereinmystomachthewholetimeandthenformedalumpinmythroat.Attimes,Icouldn’tevenspeakorsayanythingwiththefearthatmyplanwouldberuined,andaftereverythingthathappened,Iwasnotabouttoletthathappen.
“Okay,”Presleysays,comingovertomeandpullingtheveilovermyhead.“It’snowornever,”shesays,andIglareather.“Well,Icanseeshe’sreadytorumble.”Wesharealook,anditcalmsmedownforabit,knowingthatIhavetheminmycorner.
IwatchPresleywalkdowntheaisle,andIbreatheinandout.Myhandsarestartingtoshake,andIcanseeTravislookatme.“It’snottoolate.”
“Ihavetodothis,Travis,”Iwhisper,puttingmyhandtomystomach,hopingtocalmitdown.“Ijustneedyoutopromisemethatyouwon’tflyoverboard.”
“Me?”hehissesandthenlaughs.“YouneedtoworryaboutHarlow.”
“YoutoldHarlow?”Igasp,mystomachflippingupanddown,andmyneckissuddenlygettinghotterthannormal.
“HowthehellelsewasIsupposedtogethergrandfather’sspecialsweettea?”Hiseyebrowspinchtogether.“Thedaybeforeyourwedding?Ithadtobedire.Youarejustluckythatmyin-lawsarehereandtalkedherdown.Ifitwashercousins,hewouldhavehadapikeshoveduphisassandbeenascarecrowontheirfarm.”Heshakeshishead.
“Okay,youtwo,”Mallorysays,comingtous.“Youcantakeyourplacenow.”Shemotionstous.
InodatherandwalkthethreestepstostandinfrontofthetwobrowndoorsIhearthemusicswitchoffandturntoTravis.“Don’tforgettomakesureMomstaysinherseat,”Itellhimthroughmyveil,blinkingthetearsawaybecauseIrefusetolookanythingbutstunning.Icancrybymyselfafterthisisdone,butIwillnotshedonemoremotherfuckingtearbeforethen.
Thesoundofpeoplegettingupfillsthesilence,andthenthepianostarts,andIknowweareabouttensecondsfromthedoorsopening.“Herewego,”Isay,andmystomachisinmythroat.
Thedoorsswingopen,andIgaspwhenIseethedecorationsthatmysistersplanned.Bigpottedvasesofflowersrundowntheaislethatissetupwithgoldchairs”Youwanttostop?”TravisasksrightbeforeItakeastepforward.
Idon’tlookaroundatanyotherdecorations,afraidthatI’mgoingtofallover.Idon’tlookatanyofourguestswhocameallthiswaytoseeusgetmarried.Instead,myeyesfocusonJosephwhostandsinhisblacktuxwithhishandsfoldedinfrontofhim.Hisblondhairisperfectlystyledandpushedbackashesmilesatme.ItakeasecondtolookbesidehimatAce,whohastearsinhiseyesashesmilesatmeandthenleansovertosaysomethingtoJoseph.Ilookdownatmyfeet,blinkingawaythestingingoftearsthatwanttocomeandtakeover.“Youcandothis,”myheadscreamsatmeatthesametimethatmyhearttellsme,“Run.”
Mykneesshakewhenwefinallystopwalkingandfacethealtar.IturntoTravisexactlylikewepracticed,andheliftstheveilovermyheadHehastearsinhiseyes,andIcan’tevenimaginewhathe’sfeeling.Iwouldneverwanttobeinhisshoes.Fuck,Idon’tevenwanttobeinmyshoes,letalonebeabystanderwaitingforitalltohappen.HeleansforwardandkissesmycheekbeforeturningandholdingouthishandtoshakeJoseph’shand.“Thankyou,”Josephsaystohimandthenlooksatme.“Hi.”Hesmirksatme,andifIwasn’tsurebeforeifIshouldn’tmarryhim,thisshouldbearedflag.Whosayshiwhentheyfirstseetheirbride?I’lltellyouwho.Noone.
“Hi,”Isay,smilingathim,andtheangerfillsthebloodinmybody.IturntohandClarabellamybouquetwhilePresleycomesoverandmakessurethateverythingisproperlyplacedwithmytrain.
“Dearlybeloved,”theprieststarts,andallIcanhearinmyearsisthesoundofmyheartbeatingamillionmilesaminute.Mystomachtwistsandturns,andIhavenoideawhatthefuckisgoingon.IsitwhenIneedtositandstandwhenIneedtostand,andthewholetime,heholdsmyhand.Ilookdownathishandinmine,andeverythinginmewantstoyankitaway.Butit’snottimeyet.“JosephandShelby,haveyoubothcomeherefreely?”
“Wehave,”JosephandIsayatthesametime.AndIcanseehimlookoveratmefromtheside,butmyheadstaresstraightahead.
“JosephandShelbyhavedecidedtosaytheirownvows,”thepriestsays,andIturntofaceJoseph.I’mexpectinghimtotakeapaperout,buthedoesn’t.“Joseph.”
“Oh,myturn,”hesays.Peoplelaughathim,andIlookdownatmyhandsthatareshakinginhis.I’mwaitingforhimtonotice,butasusual,hedoesn’t.“YouknowI’mnotgoodatstatingmyfeelings,sowhenIsatdowntowritemyvows,IgoogledhowdoIwritevows.”Helaughs,andmyskincrawlsforthefirsttimesinceI’vemethim.Alongwithfuckingangerthathecouldn’tputintowordshowhefeltforme.“Therewasawholelistofthingstellingmehowtoputittogether,buttheonlyonethatIunderstoodwasthefootballone,soherewego.”Ilookintohiseyes,hopingtoseesomething,anythingtotellmenottogothroughwithit.ButallIseearethelies.“Theysaidtosaytokickitoffwithyournamefirst,so,Shelby..”Peoplechucklewithhim.“ThentheysaidhalftimewastostatewhyIintendedtomarryyou.AndthatisbecausethereisnooneelseI’dwanttowalknextto.ThereisnooneelseIwantbymysidebutyou.”Helooksdownathisfeetandthenbackupatme.“Andthefourthquartermyintentionstoyou.Ipledgemyselftoyoutodayandalways.”
Helooksbackatthepriest,whojustsmilesathimandthenturnstome.“Shelby,”hesaysmynameandIturntograbthepieceoffoldedpaperthatClarabellahasbeenholding.
Iunfoldthewhitepaperwithshakinghands,andasIopenitandseethelettersonthepaper,IknowthatIreallydon’tneedthispaperbecauseI’vememorizedthewholething.“UnlikeJoseph,Ididn’thavetolookmyvowsuponline,”Isay,andpeoplelaugh.“Ihadthemwrittentwoweeksago,butIdidtweakthemalittlelastnight.”Ilookathim,andhejustsmilesslylyIlookdownatthewordsonthewhitepaper.“Mydearestlove,”Isay,andmyvoicecracks.Ilookupathim,andIhearacoupleofpeopleoohandaah,andIwanttotellthemtoshutup.Butinstead,allIcandoisgetmybreathingundercontrolbecauseifI’mnotwrong,Ifeelafull-onpanicattackcoming,andthisneedstogetoutbeforethat.“Idon’tknowwheretostart,soIwillstartatthebeginning.FromthefirstdayImetyou,myheartskippedabeat.”Ilookintohiseyesthewholetime,waitingforhimtorealizewhatI’msaying.“Fromthefirsttouchofshakingyourhand,itfeltlikeanelectricshockwentthroughmybody,andIwasaliveforthefirsttimeever.”Icanseehiseyesturningatouchdarker.“NomatterwhatIdid,nothingcouldhavestoppedmefromfeelingthewaythatIfeelwhenI’mwithyou.Webothfoughtitforaslongaswecould,buttheminuteIkissedyou,Iknewyouweremeantformeandonlyme.Ineverwantedtofallinlovewithyou.”Ilaughattheironyofitall.“ButIdid.IloveyouwitheverythingthatIhave.Iloveyouwithmywholesoul.I’mgettingmarriedtomorrow,andeverythinginmewishesitwasyou.Everythingistellingmethatitshouldbeyou.Sheila,”Isay.Agaspringsout,andIseeatthatmomenthefullyunderstandshowfuckedheis.Hismouthopensandcloses,butnothingcomesout.Ihearpeoplechatteringaway,andIcanfeelmysisterscomeinclosertomeasIgettothelastline.“Runawaywithme.Iloveyou,Sheila,andI’myoursforever.”Thepieceofwhitepaperinmyhandfallstothefloor,deadjustlikemyloveforhim.Chapter7
Ace
IlistentoJosephsayhisvows,andI’malmostembarrassedforhim.HadIknownthathedidn’twritethem,Iwouldhavetriedtogethimtowritethemlastnightinsteadofhimfinishingoffawholebottleofwhiskey.Oreventhismorningwhenhewokeupandlookedlikehewasconfusedastowherehewas.Ithoughtitwasweddingjitters,butIjustignoredit.Afterall,theonlyonewhocouldtellmeifitwas,wasShelbyandtherewasnowayinfuckIwasgoingtoputthatdoubtinherhead.IlookoveratTravis,whojustsitsinthemiddleofhismotherandhiswife,thethreeofthemjustglaringathim.Iclosemyeyesasmorewordscomeoutofhismouth,andallIwanthimtodoisjustshutthefuckup.
Wegotdressedandgothererightontime,buthestartedwiththeshotsthesecondwewalkedin.Atonepoint,Ihadtoasktocuthimoff.ThelastthingIwantedwasforhimtotumbledowntheaisle.Walkingdowntheaisle,Ithoughthewasgoingtofall,andIstoodbesidehimtomakesureifhedid,Iwouldbeabletopickhimup.
IlookoveratShelbyasshelooksatClarabellaforherpaper.Iwatchherhandsshakeassheunfoldsit,andIhavetosmile.She’susuallysostrongandkick-ass,soseeingthismakesmewanttohugherandtellheritwillbeokay.“UnlikeJoseph,Ididn’thavetolookmyvowsuponline,”shesays.AllIcandoislookdownandtrytohidemylaughter.“Ihadthemwrittentwoweeksago,butIdidtweakthemalittlelastnight.Mydearestlove.”Istareathersinceshe’sneverinherlifecalledhimthis.“Idon’tknowwheretostart,soIwillstartatthebeginning.FromthefirstdayImetyou,myheartskippedabeat.”Whatthefuckisshetalkingabout?Iwastherewhentheyfirstmet,andshecalledhimadouche.“Fromthefirsttouchofshakingyourhand,itfeltlikeanelectricshockwentthroughmybody,andIwasaliveforthefirsttimeever.”Ialmostburstoutlaughing,thinkingit’sajoke,butthenIlookatherandseethatsheisonehundredpercentnotjoking.Istandstraighter,tryingtotellmyselfit’snotfunny.“NomatterwhatIdid,nothingcouldhavestoppedmefromfeelingthewaythatIfeelwhenI’mwithyou.Webothfoughtitforaslongaswecould,buttheminuteIkissedyou,Iknewyouweremeantformeandonlyme.Ineverwantedtofallinlovewithyou.”Shelaughs,andIdon’tknowwhy,butsomethinginmychestgetstight.“ButIdid.IloveyouwitheverythingthatIhave.Iloveyouwithmywholesoul.”It’sthenextsentencethathasmeonalert.It’sasifIhearthewords,butIdon’tunderstandthem.“I’mgettingmarriedtomorrow,andeverythinginmewishesitwasyou.”IlookatShelbyandthenside-eyeJoseph,myhandsgoingintofistsknowinghecheatedonher.“Everythingistellingmethatitshouldbeyou,Sheila.”Ihearthewordsandthenhearthegasp,andIhavetoshakemyhead,notsureIactuallyheardwhatIheard,butitisexactlywhatIheard.Ilistentothewordsandfeelasiftheroomisspinningaroundme.“Runawaywithme.Iloveyou,Sheila,andI’myoursforever.”
“Whattheactualfuck?”Thewordsroaroutofme,andIhearsomeonecleartheirthroatandlookoveratthepriestwhojuststandsthereglaringatme.“Sorry,Father,”Isaytohim.
“Oh.”Shelbylaughs.“Ithinkfuckisaboutright.”Sheturnstofaceherguests.“Incaseanyoneisn’tfollowing”—shelooksbackatJoseph,whojuststandstherenotsayinganything—”theweddingisofficiallyoff.”Shelooksathersister,whojustnodsatherasshepicksupherdressatouchandwalksdowntheaisletowardthebrowndoors.Hersistersfollowher,andIseeTravisputtinghisarmaroundhismother,whojustglaresatJoseph.
Ihearmyheartbeatinginecho,andIwonderifI’mgoingtofallonmyasswhentheroomstartsspinning.Myheadistryingtopiecetogetherwhatjusthappened.IlookatSheila,whostandstherebyherselfcrying.ShelooksatJoseph,wholooksatherandthenquicklyturnsandyells,“Shelby!”Hewalksdowntowardher.
“Schmuck,”Shelby’smomsaysasJosephtakesacoupleofstepsforward,andHarlowjustglaresathim.Herfatherholdsheraroundthewaisttomakesureshedoesn’tspringoutanddosomethingsheshouldn’t.Myeyesgototherestoftheguests,whoareallwaitingtoseewhatmoreistocome.Acouplehavetheirphonesoutandarefilmingwhatstartedasabeautifuldaybuthasslowlycrumbledintoaclusterfuck.JosephstopsandlooksdownandthenuptoShelby’sfamilybeforeturningandrushingoutoftheroom.
IshakemyheadandwalkdownthestepsMyfeetmoveasItrytothinkclearlyandmakesenseofwhatjusthappened.MybestfriendwasfuckingmygirlfriendIwasgoingtoasktomarryme.Idon’tthinkanythinginthatsentencemakessensetoanyone,leastofallmeMyeyesroamtheroomasItakeintheguestswhisperingtoeachother,acoupleofthemlookingatmewithpityintheireyes.Theshameturnstoanger,andmybloodstartstoboil.
“Weston,wait.”IhearSheilacallmyname,andtheguestsaremovingtheirheadfrommetoSheilaandthenbacktomelikeit’sanintensetennismatch.Ithinkaboutstoppingforonesecond,andthenassoonasIthinkaboutit,IhearShelby’swordsplayinmyheadagainandagain.
Ishakemyheadandpushopenthetwobrowndoorsthatleadtothehallwaythatseparatestheceremonyspacefromtheeventspace.I’mnotexpectingtofindShelbyrighttherebythedoorwithhersistersbesideher,readytostepinfrontofher.“Shelby.”Isayhername,andshelooksatmewithtearsinhereyes,butthenIseeherblinkthemaway,andIknowthatwhateverlittlepieceofunderstandingthatshehadinherbodyisgone,andinitsplaceisanger.
Josephstandsinfrontofthem.“Givemeachancetoexplain,”Josephsays,andIwonderhowstupidhereallyis.Iknewhewasdumbtosomethings,butthis,it’salmostcomicalhowhethinkshecantalkhimselfoutofthis.
“Oh,pleaseexplain.”Shelbylaughsathimbitterly.“I’dloveforyoutoexplain.”Sherollshereyesnow.“Becausetheemailwasn’texplanationenough.Imightneedforyoutodrawmeafuckingdiagram.”
Ican’thelpbutstopthelaughthatcomesoutofme,andalleyesturntome”Oh,yes,”Isay.Pullingthebowtieawayfrommyneck,I’mfeelingsuddenlysuffocated,soIundothebuttononthetop.“PleaseexplainhowyouhavebeenfuckingSheilaandwantedhertorunawaywithyouonyourfuckingweddingday.”Myvoicegoeshigherattheend.
AlleyesareonJosephashelooksatmeandthenbackatShelby.“Please,itwasami—”
“Don’tyoufuckingdare,”Shelbysaysbetweenclenchedteethandholdingupherhand.“Sayitwasamistake.”Shelbyglaresathimandroarsout,“Don’tyoufuckingdaregivemethatfuckingexcuse.”
“It’s,”hestartstosay.“It’snotwhatitseems.”Myfeetmovetwostepstowardhimastheangerripsthroughme.
“I’mprettysuretheemailthatyousentoutthedaybeforeourfuckingweddingwaseverythingthatitseemedtobe.”Herhandsformintofistsathersides.”I’mdone,”shesays,turningtowalkawayandstoppingwhenthedoorsopen.Sheilastepsout,andthewholeroomfeelslikeit’sgoingtoexplode.IlooktowardShelby,makingsuresheisokay.Sheputsherhanddown,holdinghersister’shandtomakesuresheholdshersisterback.
Shestandstherelookingatallofuswithtearsrunningallthewaydownherface.“Weston,”shesays.“Please.”Herlowerliptrembles.“Ididn’tmean—”
Iclapmyhandstogether,laughingatthecrazinessthatthisdayhasturnedouttobe.TheangerrunsthroughmeasIlookatthiswoman,thewomanIwasgoingtogetdownononekneeandasktospendtherestofherlifewithme.ThewomanwhoIthoughtwasminebutinsteadwaslyingtomyface.“Whatdidn’tyoumeantodotome?Lie?”Ilookather,notreallywaitingforananswerassheputsherhandinfrontofher,hershouldersshakingasshecloseshereyesandwipesthetearsoffherfacewiththebackofherhand.
“Weston,pleaseletmeexplain,”shebegs,andallIcandoisshakemyhead.
“TheonlythingIwanttohearfromyouiswhereyouwantmetosendyourshitthatIhaveatmyhouse,”Isaybetweenclenchedteeth.
“Pleasegivemeachance.”Shebringsherhandtohermouthtosilencethesobs.
“Didyouordidyounotsleepwithmybestfriend?”Ilookatherandwaitforhertoanswer.IwaitforsomeonetojumpoutofhidingandtellmethatthisisjustaprankIwaitforsomeonetotellmethatthisisn’thappening.IwaitforsomeonetowakemeupsoIcanbedonewiththisnightmare.Butshesaysnothing.Shedoesn’thaveto.Thelookonherfacesaysitall.
Standinginfrontofherismakingmeutterlysick.I’msicktomystomachthatsheliedtome.I’msicktomystomachthatIdidn’tfuckingknowwhatwasapparentlyhappeningrightinfrontofmyface.Sicktomystomachthatmybestfriend,whoIthoughtwouldhavetakenabulletforme,literallyjustshotmeintheheart.Iwalkaway,seeingJosephlookingatme,theguywhowassupposedtobelikeabrothertome.“Ace,”hesays,andeverythinghappensinslowmotion,ormaybeitwasjustlikethatinmyhead.Myshoulderpullsback,andthenextthingIknow,myhandisballingintoafist,andIpunchJosephstraightinthemouth.Myhandexplodeswithpainashisheadfliesback,andhefallstothefloor.Thegirlshissout,andIlookatmybestfriendontheflooronhisside.Hishandcomesuptohismouthandthenhepullsitbacktoseethatthereisbloodonthesideofhismouth.Heleersatme,andallIcandoiswalkpasthimandstraighttothebar,eventhoughIknowthatthereisn’tenoughboozeintheworldtomakemeforgetthatmylifejustfellapart.Chapter8
Shelby
IwatchSheilacryinfrontofAce,mystomachhurtingforhim.Beggingforhimtogiveherachancetoexplain,buthedoesn’twanttohearanythingfromher.Shehangsherheadashershouldersshakeasshecries.AcewalksawayfromherandtriestowalkpastJoseph,whoisstupidenoughnottoseethathe’shangingonbyafuckingstring.Onlypeoplewhoknowhimwellcanseethesigns.He’susuallycalmandcool,buttheminuteheuntiedhisbowtiefromhistux,Iknewitwasjustamatteroftimebeforehewouldsnap.
“Ace,”Josephsays.AllIknowisthatIinhaleadeepbreath,andIwanttostepforwardandmakesurethatAceisokay.I’mabouttostepforwardwhenIseeithappenbeforemyeyes.MyeyesgobigasAce’sshoulderpullsback,andthenextthingIknow,Ace’shandisballingintoafist,andhisfistconnectswithJoseph’smouth.Iseehisheadsnapback,andthenhisfootingslips,andhefallstothesideMysistersandIgaspasJoseph’shandcomesup,andheseesheisbleeding.HeleersatAce,anditangersmeallthewaythroughmyveins.Acedoesn’tevengivehimasecondthoughtbeforehewalksawayintotheeventspace.
IshakemyheadandthenlookatJosephashegetsupandtakesasteptowardme,butIholdupmyhandforhimnottocomeanycloser.“I’mgoingtogoandmakesurethateverythingisokayinthere,”Clarabellasays,andIjustnod.“Presley,youstaywithher.”ShelooksatJoseph.“Andyoufuckoff,youspinelesspieceofshit.”It’sthefirsttimethatsomeonehascursedhimoutloudsinceallofthishappened.IseeherturnherheadtowardSheila,whowaitsforwhateverisgoingtobethrownather.“You.”Clarabellalaughs.“You’resecondplace,youknowthat,right?”ShelooksatSheila.“Attheendoftheday,hechasedafterShelbyandleftyouinthere.”Shepointsattheceremonydoors.“Hemayhavedeclaredhisloveforyouinafuckingemail,butattheendoftheday,hewentafterthewomanhewanted.”ClarabellatakesonemorelookatJosephbeforeturningandwalkingbackintotheceremonyspace.
Sheilajustshakesherhead.“Iamso,sosorry,”Sheilasays,andshewipeshertearsaway.“Inevermeanttohurtanyone.”
“Meanttohurtanyone.”Ilaughoutather.“Meanttohurtme?Ofcourse,youdidn’t.”Thesarcasmjustrollsoffme.“It’sfunnybecauseIwentoverandoveritinmyheadlastnight.Allnight,”Itellher.“EverysingletimeIwasnicetoyou.EverysingletimeIincludedyouinplansbecauseallIwantedtodowasbeyourfriend.EverysingletimeIconfidedinyouaboutthings,youjusttookthatandusedit.”
“Thatisn’thowithappened,”shesays,steppingforwardandthenstopping.
“TheonlythingIthinkyouaresorryfor”—Iswallowandlookoverather—”isthatyougotcaught.”Ilookatthem.“Thatbothofyougotcaught.”
“Trustme,thelastthingIeverwantedwasforanyonetofindout,”SheilarepliesandlooksatJoseph,whojustlooksather.Idon’tknowwhyshewasexpectinghimtorushtoherside.He’salwaysbeenaselfishperson,butIoverlookeditsincehewasanonlychild.Hedidn’tknowthatyouneededtodocertainthings.WhetheritwasforlittlethingslikeforgettingwhenIhadastressfuldayandjustwantedtorelaxbutinsteadfocusedallonhimself.Orwhenheforgotthebiggestdayofmylifethreemonthsago,whichcouldhavebrokenus.Insteadofstickingaroundtoholdmyhand,hewentoutoftown.NowthatIthinkback,thesignswereallthere.Iwasjustblindtoit.Shetakesonemorelookatmebeforeturningandwalkingoutwithherheadhangingdown.
“Ihopewhenthingscalmdown,”Josephsays,hishandcomingupashisthumbrubsthesideofhismouthwhereadropofbloodtricklesoutagain.Helooksdownathishand.“Ihopethatyougivemetheopportunitytotalktoyouandexplainmyself.”
IstareatthismanwhoIwasgoingtomarry.ThemanwhoIthoughtIlovedwitheverythingIhad.ThemanwhointheendwasnothingthatIthoughthewas.“Iwouldn’tholdmybreathifIwereyou,”Itellhim,andhenodsatmeandstormsoutthefrontdoor.
“Typical,”Presleyobserves.“Fucksshitupandthenjustfuckingleaves.”Sheshakesherhead.“Ifyouwerekeepingscore”—sheputsherhandsonherhips—”Ineverreallylikedhim.”
Ican’thelpbutthrowmyheadbackandlaugh.“Obviously.”Thebrowndoorsopen,andIholdmybreath,wonderingifsomeoftheguestsaregoingtocomeout.WhenIstormedoutoftheceremonyspace,Iavoidedeveryone’seyes.AndImean,everyone’s.Ijustcouldn’tbeartoseethelooksofshockonsomepeople’sfacealongwiththepitylooks.I’mthebridewhocouldn’tkeepherfiancéfromhavingsexwithsomeoneelse.
Traviscomesout,followedbyHarlow,whoheadsstraightformeandlooksaround.“Didyouguyshidethebodies?”
Presleylaughsather.“Iwish.”Sheshakesherhead.“Hetookofflikeacoward.”ShelooksatTravis.“How’sitgoinginthere?”
“IthinkClarabellaneedssomehelpinthere,”Travisreports,puttinghishandsinhispockets.
“HowisMomdoing?”Iask,feelingguiltythatIdidn’tincludeherinthisplan.
“Well,shecalledJoseph’sparentsdickheadsforraisinga,andIquote”—hetakeshishandsoutofhispocketsandtriesnottolaugh—”‘shriveledlittledick.’”
MyeyesgowideatthatbecausemymotheristhepolitestpersonIknow.Evenwhenpeopledon’tdeserveit,she’salwayssmiling.“Oh,itwasgood,”Harlowsays.“Especiallyaftershecalledhimashriveledlittledick,shelookeddownathispackageandraisedhereyebrows.”Harlowcan’thelpbutlaugh.“Heliterallycuppedhimselftomakesurethatshedidn’tseeorbetteryetkickhiminthefamilyjewels.”
“OhmyGod,”Presleysays,puttingherhandstohermouth.
“Oh,itgotjustatouchworse,”Harlowsays,andIjustwaitfortherest.“Shelookedoveratmyfatherandaskedhimifhecouldtakethetrashout.”
“Jesus.”Ishakemyheadandthinkaboutgoinginthereandfacingthemusic.Myeyesgotothebrowndoor.Myheadistellingmetogetitoverwith,myfeetareprettymuchfullofcementanddon’tevenmoveaninchfromthespotI’mon.
“I’mgoingtogoandmakesurethatMomisokay,”Presleysays,takingtwostepstowardthedoor,thenturning.“Betyou’resorryhedidn’tdieyesterday.”Shemakesherwaytothedoor,andwithonehandonit,sheturns.“I’mnotkeepingscoreoranythinglikethat,butthisistwomissedweddingsforourfamily.”
“Don’tworryaboutthat,”Harlowsoothes.“It’sstillfiftypercent.”
“Oh,goody,”shesays,smiling.“Fifty-fiftychancemyhusbandwillmarryme.”Sheshakesherhandsinfrontofher.“Can’twaittomeetthatluckyman.”Shepullsopenthedoorandstepsin.
“Thisisaclusterfuck,”Iaffirm,lookingaroundandthenpullingtheveiloutfromthebackofmyhair.
“It’snotthatbad,”Travissays,andevenHarlowlooksathimlikehehastwoheads.“Bynextweek,theywillbetalkingaboutsomethingelse.”
“Ifyouwant,”Harlowplots,“wecanstartarumorabouthim.Oncemycousinstarteddatingthisguy,andhecheatedonher,shestartedthisrumorthathemeowedduringsex.”Myeyesbulgeoutofmyhead,andHarlowlaughs.“Jokewasonhim,though,becausehetapedhimselfhavingsex,andthegirlthensuedhim.”Sheclapsherhandstogether.“Goodtimes.”
TravissmilesatHarlow.“Howdidyoudoit?”IaskhimasIhearpeoplemovingintheceremonyspace.
Travislooksatme.“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Howdidyoufacethemusic?”Ipointattheceremonyspace.
“Booze,”hesaysrightawayandthenlooksoveratHarlowandsmiles.
“Andsex,”Iaddtothat.“Thatdidn’thurt.”WhenHarlowcametohisweddinganditwascalledoff,theyspentthewholenightdrinkinganddancing.Whenwewenttocleanuphiscabinthedayafterthewedding,wecaughtthemnakedinbed.
“Sexdefinitelydidn’thurt,”Harlowconfirms,puttingherarmsaroundhiswaistandlookingupathim.Mychesthurtsrightinthemiddleasifanelephantissittingdownonme.
“Well,mightaswellgetthisoverwith,”Isayandtakethefivestepstowardthebrowndoor.Mystomachclimbsuptomythroat,andmyneckstartstogethot.IfIhadanythinginmystomach,I’mprettysureIwouldhavethrownitup.Itakeonemoredeepbreathandpullopenthedoor.
Istepinside,expectingtofindeverythingstillthere,butit’sempty.Itaketwostepsin,andthedoorclosesbehindme,andItakeinthesceneagain.IputonefootinfrontofanotherasIstartwalkingdowntheaisle.Thegoldchairsthatwerefullofguestsnotevenanhouragoareleftempty.Weddingdayprogramsareleftonsomeofthechairs,andoneisinthemiddleoftheaisle,facedown.“Figures,”ImumblewhenIleandownandpickitup.Turningitover,Iseethepictureofustakenatourengagementparty.Apartyhedidn’twant.Thedayhechosetogogolfinginsteadofhelpingmesetup.ThedaywhenIstartedtoseethecracksinthefoundationbutpushedthemaside,tellingmyselfthatitwasprobablynervesandjittersthatmadehimlikethat.ThedaythatIlookbackonshouldhavebeenthefirstofmanyredflags.ThedayIspentminglingwithourfamiliesbecausehespentmostofthenightatthebarwithhiscollegefriends.
Thepaperslipsoutofmyhand,andIwatchitfloatbackandforthuntilitlandsonthefloor.Iwalktherestofthewaydowntheaisle,seeingthatabouquetofwhitepeoniesisthrownonthefloorrightwhereIstood.Thewhiteprinted-outemailsitsbesideit.AsIlookdownatit,everythinginsidemeturnscold.“Fuckthisshit,”Isayoutloudtonoone.“Traviswasright.Ineedadrink.”
Iwalktothesideoftheroom,whereabackhallwayleadsyoustraighttotheeventspace.I’mexpectingtofindmysisterthere,gettingeveryoneorganizedandmakingsurethespaceiscleanedup.Butthat,too,isempty.Theonlysoundismyheelsclickingonthefloor.
Walkingintotheeventspace,Iseeallthetablessetuptohostourguestssiteerilyempty.IzigzagmywaytothebarandstopwhenIseeAcesittingononeofthestools.Abottleofwhiskeysitsonthebartopnexttoasmallglass.Hepourshimselftwofingers’worthandtakesitintwogulps.Puttingtheglassdown,hepoursanotherbit.“Isthisseattaken?”Chapter9
Ace
Iunscrewthebottleofwhiskeyandpourtwofingersfullintothesmallcrystalglass.Idon’tevenwaituntilthebottleisdownonthebartotakethegulp.Theamberliquidburnsfromthestartofmythroatallthewaydowntomystomach.Iquicklyfillitupagainandtakeanothershotbeforegentlyplacingthebottleonthetopofthebarnexttome.Ilookintotheemptyglassatthelittledropsofamberliquid.Myheadcanstillhearthewordsoverandoverasifit’sonrepeat.“Iloveyou,Sheila.”Ishakemyhead.“Forfuck’ssake.”IpickthebottleupagainandpourabitmorethanIdidthelasttime.Ittakestwogulpstogetitdown.Ihissoutasmystomachfeelslikeafirepit.Iputtheglassdownandpouranotherbit.“Isthisseattaken?”
Ihearhervoiceandturntolookather.She’sstandingthereinherweddingdress.TheminutethedoorsopenedandIsawher,Icouldn’tevenhelpmyself.IleanedoverandwhisperedtoJosephthathewasafuckingluckyman.Herblueeyeslooklikethedeependoftheoceandoesrightbeforeastormrushesin,whichshouldhavebeenmyfirstcluethatsomethingwasup.Hereyesonlygetthatdarkwhensheissuperpissed,butIjustfiguredthatitwashernerves.Shepullsoutthestoolandsitsnexttome.“Notsureiftheyhaveenoughboozetosharewithyou.”Ijokewithherandpourmyselfanotherglass.Myhandpicksuptheglass,andIwincerightbeforeIswallowdownthewhiskey.
Ilookdownatmyhand,seeingtheknucklebloodyandscraped.Icloseitinafistagainandopenitfeelingthetightnessintheskin.“Thatalwaysplaysoutdifferentlyinthemovies.”Ishakemyheadandlaugh.Ididn’tevenknowIwasgoingtopunchhimintheface,buttheminutehesaidmyname,Ijustcouldn’thelpit.Diditfeelgood?Youbetyourassitdid.Wasitimmature?Youbetyourassitwas.WouldIdoitagain?YoubetyourassIwould.“Inthemovies,theguyjustwalksawaywithaswagger.”
Shethrowsherheadbackandlaughs.“Youdefinitelywalkedawaywithaswagger.”Sheleanstome.
“Yeah,butitwasalsodonewithawince.”Ipouranothershot.“Thankfully,youcouldn’tseeit.”
Shepushesawayfromthebar,andIhelphergetdown.Thedresslookslikeit’sgoingtoswallowherup.Shewalksaroundthebarasshewalkstotheendoftheotherside.Iseehermoving,butIhavenoideawhatthefucksheisdoing.Myheadisjustatouchfuzzy,soI’mslowtoaskher.“Whatchadoingbackthere?”Myeyesfollowhereverymove.
Shewalksbackoutfrombehindthebar,andIseeherholdingawhiteclothinherhand.Shegetsbackonthestool,andthedressgoesbiggerthanwhenshe’sstanding”Isyourdressgrowing?”Iask,andshelaughs.
“No.”Sheshakesherhead.“WhenIsit,thecrinolinemovesup.”Shegrabsmyhandinhersandputsthewhiteragonit.“Thereyougo,Rocky.”Ilaughandlookoveratherassheleansoverthebarandgrabsherowncrystalglass.
“Fillmeup,”shesays,andallIcandoisnodatherandpourherasmallshot.Shejuststaresatme.“Iwillstabyourtoewithmyheels.”Sheglaresatme,andItrynottolaughasIpourmoreinherglassandthenpourthesameamountinmine.
“Whatarewetoastingto?”Iask,knowingshealwayslovestotoastwhenshepoursherfirstdrink.Itallstartedafterwetookourmidtermandwenttogrababeer.Imadethemistakeoftakingasip,andsheglaredatme.Inevermadethatmistakeagain.
“I’mnotsurethereisactuallysomethingtotoast.”Ilaugh,lookingdownatmyshot.Mystomachsinksasmyheadrememberswhatjusthappened.
“Wecantoasttolove.”Shethrowsherheadbackandlaughsatherownjoke.“Theirony.”
“Youmean,tobeingmorons.”Iholdtheglassup,andshenods.
“Iwilldefinitelydrinktothat.”Herhandgoesaroundherglassasshepicksitupandclicksitwithmine.Thesoundofthetwoglassesclankingtogetherfillsthesilentroomasshebringstheglasstohermouthandswallowsitdown.
“Gross,”shesays,puttingherglassdownandgrabbingthebottletopouranothershot.ShepoursmeonealsoandthenlooksatmetoseeifI’mgoingtotakeitwithher.Igrabmyglass,andwetakeanothershot.“Somehow,theburningjustgotworse.”Sheputsherhandtoherstomach.“Whichisweird.”
“Afterthefifthone.”Ipourhermore.“Youthinkit’swater.”
Shespinstheglassinfrontofher,andIcanseethatshe’sthinking.Shelooksoveratme,andIcanseeherfightingawaythetears.“Didyouknow?”
Ishakemyheadandlookbackattheglassinfrontofme.“Notevenforasecond.”Iswallowdowntheshot.“Didyou?”
Shelaughsasshetakesherselfanothershot.“NotuntilIgothisemail.”Shelaughsandlooksatme.“Nothingsaysyouaremarryingthewrongpersonlikeadeclarationoflovetosomeoneelse.”Shetriestomakeajoke,buthervoicecracks,andIcantellthatsheishurt.
“Gottosay.”Iputmyarmaroundher,pullinghertome.“Youhandleditwithalltheclassintheworld.”Ikisshertemple.
“I’msuremymotherisgoingtokillme.”Shelooksupatmeandshrugs.Iknowthatthisistheleastofherworries.Ialsoknowthathermotherwillneverbemadatherforlonganyway.
“Whoknew?”Ispintheemptyglassinfrontofme,wantingtoknoweverydetailtoherfindingout.
“Iwasn’tgoingtotellanyone.”Hervoicegoessoftassheputsherheadonmyshoulder.“IwasblissfullyawareofnothingandgettingreadywhenIgottheemail,andhonestly,foronesecond,Ithoughthewassendingittome.”Shelaughs,andIseeherliftherhandtorubthetearawayfromthesideofhereye.“Thefirstcluewasthewayhestartedit.He’snevercalledmelove.”Shepushesawayfromme,grabbingthewhiskeybottle,andIknowshehastoletitout.Shetakesitdownintwogulps,andshecoughsabit,puttingherhandtohermouth.“Themostromantichecalledmewashoney.”Sherollshereyes.“Ikeptreadingwithasmileonmyface,eventhoughtherewerethingsintheletterthatdidn’tmakesense.”Shelooksoveratme.
“Ipickeduponthat,butthenthoughtitwasjustme,”Iadmitsoftly.
“WhenIgottotheendoftheemail..”Hereyesgotoherhands,lookingattheengagementringthatisstillonherfinger.Aringthathebroughtmewithhimtopickout.AringthatpersonallyIwouldneverhavechosenforher,butitwasn’tmychoice.Itwashis.“Thephonefellfrommyhands.”Sherubshercheek,andIseethatit’swetfromatear.“Itriedtocoveritup,triedtopretenditdidn’thappen.”Sheshakesherheadasifsheistryingtoblockthememoryoutofherbrain.“PickedthephoneupandreaditagainjusttomakesurethatIdid,infact,readwhatIread,andIwasn’thavingastroke.”
“Jesus.”Ipourmyselfanothershotandthenfillherglasswithanothershot.Hopefully,bytheendofthisbottle,neitherofuswillrememberbeingfuckedoverbythepeoplewhosaidtheylovedus.
Shetakestheshotanddoesn’tevenwincethistime.“Clarabellacameinthen,andIdidn’thaveenoughtimetorecover,andshefoundmeonmyknees.”Shelooksoveratme,andIcanseetwobigtearsinhereyes,andwhensheblinks,onespillsover.Myhandcomesouttowipeitawayassoonasitfallsontohercheek.“Idon’tevenknowhowIgotonmyknees.Itriedtotalkmywayoutofit.Fuck,thelastthingIwantedtodowastosayitoutloud.”Shesmilessadly.“IthoughtthatifItoldherandputitoutthereintheuniversethatitwouldbetrueandnotjustmyimagination.”
“Shelby,”Isayinalmostawhisper,butIknowshehastogetitoutofher.Myhandfallsfromherfacewhenshepoursherselfanothershottocontinuethestory.
“Yeah,well,Clarabellatookthephonefromme,andallshecoulddowaslookatmelikethisisn’ttrue.”Shetakestheshot.“Presleycameintotheroomwithadrinkinherhand,andinfiveminutes,thethreeofusweresittingonmybedwonderingwhatthefuckIwasgoingtodo.”
“Whocameupwiththeplantogothroughallofthis?”Iask,notsureIwouldhavebeenabletogothroughwithit.
“Me.”Sheshrugs.“Notwellthoughtout,thatisforsure,”sheadmits.“IfitwasuptoClarabella,wewouldhaveshownupatyourhousewithabaseballbatandsomegasolinetoburnittotheground.”
Ilaugh.“Thanksfornotdoingthatone.”
“Presleywantedtoreplytotheemailwithathanksforlettingmeknow.”Sheshakesherheadandlaughs.“Iwastheonewhocameupwiththeplantoconfronthimatthealtar.”
“I’mnotgoingtolie.”Ilookoverather.“Idon’tthinkIwouldhavebeencourageousenoughtodowhatyoudid.IwouldprobablyhavegonewithClarabella’splan.”
“Tobehonest.”Shepoursherselfanothershot.“Itmighthavebeentheboozetalkingandthentheanger.Ididn’tthinkIwouldbeabletoeither.ThewholetimeIwassittingtherewithmyhandinhis,Ikeptthinkingmaybethisisn’tagoodidea.Butthenhestartedsayinghisvows,andIwaslike,wow,hehadtogooglewhathewantedtosaytome,hisfuturewife,butwhenitcametoSheila,hedidn’tevenhavetothinktwiceaboutit.”Shetakestheshotandlooksatme.“That’smyfifthshot,anditstilltasteslikeass.”ItwaswaymorethanfivebutI’mnotgoingtotellher.
Ilookatherandsmile.“Maybeit’sthesixthshot,then.”Shethrowsherheadbackandlaughs,andallIcandoisstareather.Whensheturnstolookatme,Ican’thelpbutreachforher.“I’msorry,”IsaysoftlyrightbeforeIkissthesideofherhead.“Forintroducingyoutohim.”Chapter10
Shelby
Acelooksatme,andhisblueeyesshine,andI’mgoingtogooutonalimbandsaythatit’sthebooze.“Maybeit’sthesixthshot,then.”Hesmirksatme,andallIcandoisthrowmyheadbackandlaugh.Full-onbellylaugh,whichcouldalsobefromthebooze.Iturnmyheadtolookbackathim,andhereachesoutforme.Histouchtinglesonmyskin.“I’msorry,”hesayssoftlyrightbeforehekissesthesideofmyhead.“Forintroducingyoutohim.”
“Well,”Isay,lookingatthealmostemptybottleofwhiskey.“Youneedtostepupyourgameandmakeituptome.”It’shisturntothrowhisheadbackandlaugh.
“Dulynoted,”hereplies,hishandfallingoffmyshoulderandbackontothebar.
“IguessIshouldgetoutofthisdress,”Isay,lookingdownatthetulleskirtthatsuddenlyseemssobigforme.Iputmyhandtomystomachasthewhiskeystartstodothewaveinmystomach”Ireally,reallylovethisdress,”Isay,tryingtoshedatear.
“Well,ifithelps,”Acecomfortsfrombesideme,andIlookoverathim.“YouarethemostbeautifulbrideI’veeverseen.”
Ican’thelpbutlaughnow.“You’rejustsayingthatbecause,well,myweddingdayturnedouttobeaclusterfuck.”
Helookslikehe’sabouttosaysomethingtomewhenIhearvoicesandlookoveratthedoor.TravisleadsthewaywithhishandinHarlow’s.MysistersfollowthemwithTravis’sbestfriend,Bennett.“Incoming,”Acewarnsfrombesideme,pouringhimselfanothershot.Hecoughsafterheswallows,andit’smyturntoleanintohim.
“Maybeafterthetenth,it’lltastelikewater.”HeturnstoglareatmeasTravisgetsclosertothebar.
“Arewereadytoparty?”Travissays,andwebothlookoverathimashewalkswithhishandsupintheair.Harlowthrowsherhandsup,andallIcandoisgroan.
“What?”Iask,shockedandconfusedbythisquestion.Iwatchashepullsoutthestoolnexttomeandsitsdown.
“Whenmyweddingwascanceled,wepartied,”TravissayswithahugesmileonhisfaceashebendsandkissesHarlow’slips.“Wedancedanddrankallnightlong.”
“Youalsosleptwithyourex-girlfriend,”Clarabellaremindshim,pullingthestooloutbesideAceandsittingdown.SheleansbackandlooksoveratHarlow”Nooffense.”
“Can’ttakeoffensetothetruth,”Harlowsays,smilingandlookingupatTravis.“Wedefinitelydrankmorethanweshouldhave.”Hebendsandkissesherrightbeforeshemovesawayfromhim,makingherwaybehindthebarandlookingoveratBennett.“Isittimeforashowdown?”sheaskshim,andheclapshishands.
“Thelasttimewedidthiswasathisfirstwedding.”Bennettsmirksandthenlooksatme.“Youokay?”ForaslongasIcanremember,he’sbeenlikeasecondbrothertome.They’vebeenbestfriendsforever,andthereisnothinghewouldn’tdoforme.
“Notevenalittlebit.”ThewordscomeoutofmymouthbeforeIcanstopthem.Acesitsupstraightnexttome,andheputshisarmaroundmystooltogivemehisstrength.
HelooksoveratAce.“Whataboutyou?”AllAcedoesisshrughisshoulders,andIputmyhandonhislegnow.“Ithinkweneedadrink,”BennettsaysandlooksoveratHarlow.“Whatdoyouthink?”
“Ithink,”Presleysays,sittingdown,“Ineedashotofwhateveristhestrongestshityouhavebackthere.”Shecloseshereyesandleansback.Thesatinchampagne-coloredgownflowsaroundherlegswhenshesits.“Orsomeofthatsweettea.”
“Well,”Harlowdrawls,duckingdown,“Ididhaveacoupleofbottlesbroughtherethismorning.”Shepicksupthebottles.“BecauseIknewitwouldberough.”
“Assomeonewhohadnoideawhatthefuckwasgoingon”—Bennettgrabsshotglasses—”IhavetosayIwashavingaheartattackandwouldnotrecommendthattoanyone.”Helooksatus.“AlthoughIwillsayIwashopingthatyourmomwouldstandupandriphimanewone.”
“Shewasinshock,”Harlowreports,laughingasshefillstheshotglasses.“Sheleanedovertomeandwaslike,whatdidshejustsay.”Shelaughsatthememory.“Ihadtoactshocked,whichtookalotfrommebecauseIkeptshakingmyfootthewholetime.”
“Well,Ithankyouallforkeepingmysecretuntiltherightmoment,”Isay,leaningforwardandgrabbingashotwithmyfreehand.MyhandisstillonAce’sleg,anditfeelslikeitweighsathousandpounds.“Thisissofuckedup.”Ishakemyhead.
“Asfuckedupasinvitingyourex-girlfriendtoyourwedding?”Harlowtriestocheermeup.
“Imean,inhisdefense,Ididthat.”Presleysmirkswhileshegrabsherownshotglass.
“Youcan’ttakethecreditforthat,”Travisretorts.“Momsnuckheronthelist.”
“Imailedouttheinvitations,dickhead,”sheargues,andheshrugs.
“Don’tevencarewhosentwhatandhowshegotthere.”Travispicksuptheshot.“Iendedupwithherintheend.”
“Doyouthinkwe’recursed?”Clarabellaasks.“Likethefirstweddingisgoingtofuckingsuck,andthenyougetyourproperwedding?”
“Youknowwhatyoushoulddo,”Bennettsays.“Planafakeweddinglikethat,andthenextonewillbegood.”
“You’resuchanidiot,”Presleyscoffs,shakingherhead.“Ifthat’sthecase,weshouldpretendtogetmarried.”Shelooksathim,andhejustsmirks.
“I’mgame,”heteases,andhercheeksturnabrightpink,andIlookoveratClarabella,whojustrollsherlips.Thetwoofthemhavehadthisconnectionsincesheturnedeighteen,andtheyfightiteverysingletime.
“Canwejusttoast?”Travissuggests.“Tothesecondwedding.”
IlookoveratAceandlaugh.“Notsureyoucandrinktothatsinceyoudidn’thaveafirstwedding.”Hehangshishead,andmyheartstopswhenIthinkIhurthisfeelings.
“OhmyGod,”Clarabellasays.“Ithinkit’stoosoon.”
“I’msosorry,”Iapologize,turningonmystooltofacehim,andIcanseehimhidingasmile.“Dick,howcanyoudothatonmyweddingday?”Isniffleattheend,andhiseyescomeup,andwhenheseesmesmile,hejustglares.“Twocanplaythatgame.”
He’sabouttosaysomethingwhenashotglassistappedonthebar,andwelookoveratPresley.“I’mgoingtoneedmore,”shesaysandlooksatus.“AftertheshitIjusthadtodo,youthinkIcanwaitforyouguystofuckaround?Ineedtodrink.”
“Well,I’llgivemywomanwhatshewants,”Bennettsays.Presleygroansandflipshimthebird,andhelaughsbutfillsupherglassagain.
“Hiswoman,myass,”shemumbles,avoidinglookingathimwhilehestaresather.
Iclearmythroattotaketheeyesoffherandholdmyglassup.“Fuckthis,”Itoast.“Tonothing.”
“Tonothing,”everyonesays,andItaketheshot.
“Notthatwearecomparingweddingsoranything,”Harlowsays,“butthisissomuchbetterthanTravis’sfirstwedding.”
“Ididn’tevensee,”Iadmit,turningmyheadandtakingintheroom.Whitesatindrapeshidethewoodenwallbehindthem,floatingdownthepillarsallovertheroom,withwhiterosesthatlookliketheyarefloatingdown.Roundtablesfilltheroomwithwhitelacetablecovers.Abigglassvasefilledwithwhiterosesfillsthemiddleofthetableswithsilverplatesandcutleries.Whiteandsilverbamboochairsarearoundthetable.Whiterosesarescatteredallovertheroom,andthecoupleoftablesattheheadoftheroomareelevatedwithawhitewallofflowersbehindit.Icanseelittletealightsthatwouldbelitassoonasitgotdarkoutside.“Youguysdidsuchagoodjob,”Icompliment,lookingawayandatmysisters.
“Whoevergetsmarriednext,”Clarabellasays,takinganothershot.“It’slikebasic.”
“Iagree,”Presleyconcurs.“PaperplatesandredSolocups.”
“IthinkClarabellawasright.”Igrabthewhiskeybottleandpourmyselfashot.“Ourfamilyiscursed.”Itaketheshot,andtheburningstarts,andIlookoveratAce.“Thatwasover”—Ithinkaboutthenumberandthinkit’sfive—“fiveandstillgross.”
“Mightbethenextone.”Hesmirksatme,andIseehisdimplecomingout.Idon’tknowifit’stheboozeorI’mgoingcrazy,buthelookscutewhenhesmirks.“Okay.”Ipushawayfromthebarandgetdown,thedressgettingstuckonthestool,andIlookover,afraidthatI’veruinedit.“AsmuchasIlovethisdress”—Itakeadeepbreath—”it’stimetogetoutofit.”
“I’llhelp,”Aceoffers,pushingawayfromthebar,andeveryonejustlooksathim.Travisstareswithhismouthhangingopen.
Hetakesineveryone’sface.“Sexisn’ttheanswertothis,”Clarabellasays.“Imean,itwouldbefittingifyouguyswentatit.But..”Shelaughsanddoesn’trealizethateveryoneislookingatherandnottalkingTheireyesgotoherandthentomeandthenbacktoAce,whoshakeshishead.
“Notlikethat.”Heshakeshisheadandlaughs.“Ijustdon’twantto.”
Iputmyhandontopofhislips.“Whatheistryingtosayisthathewantstositanddrinkhismiseryalone,andit’seasiertodowhenyoudon’thaveeveryonetryingtocheeryouup.”Ilookathim,hiseyesjuststaringatmeandthenmyhand.Itakeastepbackfromhim,andmyhandfallsfromhislips.
“Nowthat”—Acepointsatme—”iswhyshe’smybestfriend.”
“Whoareyougoingtohavesexwith?”Harlowasks,andhejustshakeshishead.
“Nooneishavingsexwithanyone!”hedeclaresbetweenclenchedteeth,andIrollmylips,nottolaughathim.
“I’mhavingsex!”Harlowliftsherhandintheair.“Notatthismoment,buttonight.”ShelooksatTravisandwinksathim,makinghimblush.
“Youguysaregross,”Imumble,pickingupmydressjustatouchtogetthroughthechairs.
“Yeah,youguysaregross,”Acerepeats,makingeveryonelaugh.“I’mgoingwithher.”Hepointsatme.“AndI’mtakingthis.”Hepicksupthealmostemptywhiskeybottle,thenlooksatBennett.
“Doyouwantafullone?”Bennettaskshim,andhejustnodshishead.
“Somehow”—Acelaughsathimself—”itwasgoingtoplayoutcoolerinmyhead.”
Inodathim.“Whenyoustormedoff?”Iaskhim,andheholdsuphishandformetogivehimahighfive.
“Hereyougo,”Bennettsays,handinghimafullbottleofwhiskey,andthenheholdsabottleofsweetteaformetograb.
“Areyoucrazy?”Harlowsays.“Theysaytheyaren’tgoingtohavesex,butafterfourshotsofthis,sexwillbethebestideathey’vehadtoday.”
“IsthatwhyyousleptwithTravis?”Ijokewithher.
“No,thatwasallmysexappeal,”Travissays,slappingthebarandlaughingathisownjoke.
Acestepsforwardandgrabsourtwoglasses,shakinghisheadatthesweetteathatBennettwavesathim.Turningandlookingatme,hesays,“Leadtheway.”Chapter11
Ace
IstepforwardtograbourtwoglasseswhileBennettwavesthebottleofsweetteainmyface.Iglareathimandshakemyhead,thenturntolookatShelby.“Leadtheway.”
Sheturnstowalktowardthebackoftheroom.Thesmellofrosesfillstheroom,andIlookaroundtoseethedecorations.“Notgoingtolie,”IsaywhenwewalkpastthewhitedancefloorwiththeletterSandJinthemiddle.“Thislooksnothinglikeyouwoulddoforyourwedding.”
Shestopsandlooksatme.“Really?”sheasks.
“It’ssowhite,”Iobserve.“Imean,it’sbeautiful,don’tgetmewrong,but”—Ilookaround—”it’sjustsowhite.”
Ilookbackather,andatthispoint,IthinkI’veoffendedher.MaybeIdon’tknowherasmuchasIthinkIdo.“Sowhatwouldyouimagineifthiswas,infact,myactualwedding?”Shefoldsherarmsoverherchestasshestaresatme.
“Well,forone,Iwouldaddcolorlikeredandpeach,”Ireply,knowingthoseareherfavoritecolors.“AndI’daddsomegreeninheresomewhereandtakeoffallthiswhiteshit.”Ipointattheceiling,thenlookbackather,andhereyesareroamingaroundtheroom.
“I’mnotsayingyou’reright,”shehuffs.“Becausemysistersspentlotsofhoursmakingitperfect.”Sheturnsandstartstowalk.
“ButI’mnotwrongeither.”Shelooksoverhershoulder,andIcanseehersmirk.
“Ifyousayanythingaboutthisdress,”shesays,andallIcandoiswatchherwalkaway.Thebackofherdressissheerbuthasbuttonsfromthemiddleofherbackuntilherwaist.
“You’dlookgoodinapotatosack,”Ireply,catchingupwithheraswewalkoutoftheeventspaceandintoahallwaythatleadstoanoutsidedoor.
Thesoundofhershoesclickingonthemarbleechoesuntilwegettotheendofthehallway,andshepushesopenthesidedoor.“Isthisasecretlair?”Ilookaroundatthepathwaytothebackofahouse.
“No.”Shelaughs.“It’sjustasecretentrance.”Sheholdsupherdressonthesideasshewalksdowntowardthehouse.“ButIguessitcouldbeconsideredalair.”
Thesunlookslikeit’sgoingdown,andtheskylooksorange.Shepullsopenthebackdoorofthehouse,andIstepinandsmelltheflowersrightaway.“Whatisthis?”Istepfartherintotheroom.Whitepottedrosesareeverywhere.“OhmyGod,whatisthis?”Ispotthewhitecouchinthemiddleoftheroomnexttotwomorepottedroses
“It’sthebridalsuite.”Shewalksovertotheplatteroffruitandpicksupastrawberry.
“It’salmostasbadasinthere.”IpointatthedoorwejustwalkedintowhileIwalkovertothecouchandsitdown.“Horrible.”Puttingthebottleofwhiskeydownandthentheglasses,Igrabthebottleandturnthecap,listeningtothesnappingsoundandthenpouringtwoglasses.“Thisshouldmakeitbetter.”Iholdaglassupforher,andshecomesandtakesit.
Sheswallowsitdownandthencoughs.“Whydoesithavetobesogross,evenafteralltheseshots?”Shegrimaces.
“Ithinkwehavetodoitlikeoneafteranother,andithastobequick.”Isnapmyfinger,andsheshakesherhead.
“Ineedhelp.”Shespinsinfrontofme,showingmeherback.“Canyouunbuttonme?”ShemovesherhairtothesidesoIcanunbuttonher.
Igetup,andmyhandsshakerightbeforeIstarttounbuttonthefirstlittlewhitesatinbutton.Myheartspeedsup,andallIcandoisfocusononebuttonafteranother.“Howmanybuttonsarethere?”IaskafterIgetpastten,myeyestryingnottofocusonthefactI’mgettingreallyclosetoherass.“Toomany.”Shelaughs,andmyhandsshakethewholeway.I’mprettysurethatthewhiskeyisfuckingwithmyheadrightnow.
“Thereyougo,”IannouncewhenIgettothelastbuttonandpushherdressopen.Herhandfliestothefrontofherdress.
“Ooof,”shesaysrightbeforeitfalls,leavinghertopless.“Thankyou,”shesaysasshewalksaway
“Doyouneedmetohelpyoutakeitoff?”Thewordscomeoutofmymouth,andevenI’msurprisedthattheydid.Shelooksbackatme,hereyesgoingbignow.“Oh,Idon’tmeanitlikethat.”Ishakemyhandinfrontofher.“Ijustmeantit’sbig.”Imotionwithmyhandsbymysides,andIreallyfuckinghopetheflooropensupandswallowsme.“Notthatyou’rebig.Imean,thereisalotofdressthere.”
“Areyoudone?”Shelaughsasshelooksatme,holdingthedresstoherchest.
“I’mgoingtojustsithereanddrink,”Isay,andshenods,walkingintotheotherroom.“Whatthehelliswrongwithyou?”Imumbletomyself,shruggingoffmyjacketandtossingitonthefloor.It’snotlikeIneeditanymoreanyway.Isitdownandpourhalftheglassofwhiskey,takingagulpandwaitingforhertocomebackintotheroom.
“That’sbetter,”shesayswhenshecomesintotheroom,andIseeherwearingwhitesatinpajamapantswithamatchingshort-sleevebutton-downshirt.Brideisembroideredontheleftsideofhershirt.
“Isthereanythinginherethatdoesn’tscreambride?”Iaskassheplopsdownnexttomeonthecouch.Sheleansforward,fillingherglasswithjustasmuchwhiskeyasIhave.
Curlingherfeetunderher,shetakesasipofthedrink.“DefinitelynotthetattooIgotonthebaseofmyback.”
Istareather,shocked.“You’rejoking.”Idon’tknowifshe’stellingmethetruthornot.
Whensherollshereyesandlaughsoutloud,Ibreatheasighofrelief.“OfcourseI’mjoking.”Ipickuptheglassofwhiskeyandtakeagulpofitwhenshesays,“It’sonmyvagina.”Andthewhiskeygoeseverywhere.Icoughandchokethewholetime,andshedoesn’tevenmovetohelpme.Shedoesn’tdoanythingbuttakeadrinkofherownwhiskey.
“I’mchoking,”Isaybetweenbreaths,andallshedoesisslapmeontheback.
“Drinkmorewhiskey.You’llfeelfine.”Shetakesanothershot,andshelookslikeshe’sgoingtogag.“Horrible.”
Itakeagulpofthewhiskey,anditburnsgoingdownfromallthecoughing.“I’mgoingtogooutonalimbandsaythisistheworstdayofmylife.”Ilookoverather,waitingforhertoagreewithme.
Shenods.“ThatwaswhatIwasthinking,”shepointsout,“yesterday.”Bringingtheglassbackuptohermouth,shetakesabiggergulp.
“Whydidn’tyoucallandtellme?”
“Wouldyouhavebeenabletonotpunchhimintheface?”sheasks,andIlookupattheceiling.
“Notevenclose,”Iadmit.“Ifyouwouldhavecalledmelastnight,Idon’tknowwhatIwouldhavedonetohimtobehonest.Hespentthenightfuckingdrinking,andIkeptthinkingthatitwasjustcoldfeet.”
“Morelikepolarice,”shejokes,andIlaugh.“I’msorryIdidn’ttellyou.Idon’tknowwhyIdidwhatIdid,butIwantedhimtohurtasmuchasIdidwhenIreadhiswords.”Sheputsherarmonthebackofthecouchandlaysherheadonit.“Iwantedtomakehimfeelassmallashemademefeel.”Sheblinksawaythetearsasshetriestostaystrong.
“Honestly,myheadisgoingaroundandaroundincircles.”Iliftmyarmtotwirlitinacircle,anditfeelslikeit’sfivehundredpoundsasitjustdropsbackdown.
“That’sthewhiskey.”Shelaughsatherownjoke,andhereyesaresocrystalbluenow.
“Itwasspinningevenmorewithoutthewhiskey.”Ichuckle.“Nowit’sjustlikeaslow-motionspinning.”
“Ifitmakesyoufeelbetter,I’msorryyoufoundoutlikethis.”Hervoiceislowandalmostawhisper.“Ihatethatthishappenedtoyou.”Shesmilesatmesadly.“Iwishitwasanyonebutyou.”
“Whatdowedonow?”Iask,takingapullofthewhiskey.
“Idon’tknowaboutyou,butIleavetomorrow,”shesays,hervoiceclearasday,andIsitupconfused.
“Tomorrow?”Ishriek.“Whatthefuck?ThatwasnottheanswerIthoughtIwouldget.Ithoughtyouwouldbelikelet’sgothrowshitontheirhouses.”Iholdupmyfinger.“Orlet’sgospray-paintboththeircarswithcheatersonthem.”Iholdupasecondfinger.“Ortoilerpapertheirhouses,orIdon’tknowwhatelsewecoulddo,butwhyareyouleaving?”
Shethrowsherheadbackandlaughs.“Well,forone,twoofthosewillprobablygetusthrowninjail.”Shebringsherglassuptoherlips.
“Well,wherethehellareyougoing?”Iask,surprisedatthiswholeannouncement.“Howlongareyougoingfor?”
“Oneweek.”Sheholdsupherfinger.“Whitewaterwithbluesandybeaches.”Shelaughsnow.“Pinacoladasbythechairinthepool.”Herwordsareallmessedup.
“Waitasecond.”Isitup,finallycatchingon.“You’regoingonyourhoneymoon?”Ilookoverather.“Alone.”
“No.”Shegiggles,andIknowthatshe’sdrunk.“I’mnotgoingalone,silly.”Shecontinuesgigglingandleansoverandbopsmynose.“I’mtakingyouwithme.”
Iputmyglassdownonthetableinfrontofmeandlookbackather.“I’msorry,whatthefuckisinthiswhiskey?”Iinquire,andallshecandoisgiggle
“Imadeallthearrangementslastnight,”shetellsmeasifit’snothing.“Oneweekall-expenses-paidvacation.Withopenbar.”Sheholdsuptheglassofwhiskey,shakingitleftandright,anditspillsoutonher.Sherubsitcleanwithherhand,andherwhitepantshavebrownstainsonthem
“Ican’tgowithyouonyourhoneymoon,”Isayfinally,andshejustlooksatme.“Thatwouldbesoweird.”
“Suityourself.”Shegetsupnow,lookingaround.“I’mhungry.”Shesitsbackdown,hereyesclosing.Imovetotheedgeofthecouchassheliesdown.“Butifyouchangeyourmind,theplaneleavesatseven.”Chapter12
Shelby
“Whatthehellisinthisthing?”ImumbletomyselfasIcarrythebig-asssuitcasedownthestairs.I’mtryingtobequiet,butthenumberoftimesI’vestumbledshouldbeintheworldrecordbook.IkicktheluggagewithmyfootasIgetdowneachstep.“Thisislegitaworkout,”IhuffwhenIgethalfwaydownthestepsandhavetotakeaone-secondbreak.
“Itoldyouthatyouwereoverpackinglastweekwhenyoupackedit,”Clarabellaremindsme.“EverysingletimeIsaiddon’tpackit,youjustthrewitintheluggage.”I’mjustthankfulIbroughtmyluggagehere,notknowingwhatthefuckwasgoingtohappen.
IignoreherasItrytomakeitdowntherestoftheway,myhandsweatingasIholdthehandle.“Thisisagoodidea?”Ilookdownthestepsandseemymotherjustwatchingme.ShewearsthewhiteplushrobethatsheworetwonightsagothatsaysMotheroftheBride,exceptshetookablackSharpiewhenwegothomelastnightandcrossedoutthebride.“Youthinkthisisagoodidea?”ShetiltsherheadtothesidetotalktoClarabella,thenfollowsmedown.
“It’sagoodidea,Mom,”Imumble,ignoringmythrobbinghead.Itfeelslikeajackhammerisgoingamillionmilesmixedinwithahornhonkingrepeatedly.
“Idon’tknowwhyyouthinkthiswouldbeagoodidea,”shehuffs,shakingherheadwiththecoffeecupinherhand.
“Ithinkthisisagoodidea,”IsayonceIgetdowntothebottomofthestairsandpushmyluggage.Thesoundofthewheelsrollingagainstthefloorgoesuntilithitsthewallrightbesidethefrontdoor.
“Isthatbacon?”Clarabellasaysfrombehindme,sniffingtheair.“Mom,didyoumakebacon?”
“Ofcourse,Imadebacon,”shesnortslikeitwasobvious.
“It’sfouro’clockinthemorning,”Ihuff,walkingtothekitchen,andIcansmellthebaconnow.
“IcookwhenI’mstressed,”mymothersays,comingintothekitchenwithus.IstopwhenIseeabuffetoffoodsittinginthemiddleoftheisland.WhenIwokeuponthecouch,Isatupbutimmediatelyhadtolaymyheadbackonthecushion.WhenIwasfinallyabletomovewithoutstumblingallovermyself,Ifoundthepartygoingonintheeventspace.Themusicwasgoing,andthesixofthemweredancingasifmyweddingdaydidn’tendinafuckingdisaster.Iwalkedtothebar,andthatiswheremymemoriesstarttofadeinandout.Idoremembereatingaburgerwhilesittingatthebar,butthenmyheadandeyessuddenlygottooheavytokeepuporopen,soItookanapinmyplatewiththeburgerclenchedinmyhand.“Ihadnoideawhattodowithmyself.”
“Cookingisalwaystherightanswer,”Clarabellablurtswhenshepushesmetothesidetogetherselfaplate.“Aretherebiscuits?”
“Ofcourse,Imadebiscuits,”mymothersays.“WhatkindofasavagedoyouthinkIamtomakegravywithoutbiscuits?”ShestaresatClarabellaasifshegrewanotherhead.
“Idon’tcarewhatClarabellaandShelbysayaboutyou,Mom,”Presleymumblesandwalksintothekitchen.“Ithinkyou’regreat.”Shestopsbymymotherandkisseshercheek.Sheisstillwearinghersilkdressfromthewedding.Herhairlookslikeit’sbeenyankedoutononesidewhiletheothersidestillhasthehairpinsinit.
Mymothergaspsandlooksatbothofus,whojustshakeourheadsather.“Don’tlistentoanythingshesays.She’sstilldrunk.”IpointatPresley,whoisfillingupherplate.
“Iamstilldrunk,”sheconfirmstousall.“AndIwastryingtosleepoffmystuporwhenIkepthearingclunk,clunk,clunk.”Sheglaresatmewithoneeyestillclosed.“Howisanyonesupposedtogetsomesleeparoundhere?”IlookatClarabella,whojustglaresather.
Mymotherjustshakesherhead,lookingupattheceiling.“Shehadsex.”IpointatPresley,andshejuststaresatmewithhereyesbig.
“Ididnot,”shedenies,shakingherhead.“Shewasn’tsupposedtowearwhiteatherwedding.”Shepointsherforkatme,andI’mreadytofirebackatherwhenMomholdsupherhands.
“Canwenotdothis?”Shelooksatthethreeofus.“Mynervesarefriedafteryesterday.”
“Oh,isitbecauseyou’vehadanotherchildgetleftatthealtar?”Clarabellaasksinasoftvoice,butsherollsherlips.
“Ididn’tgetleftatthealtar,”Ifireback,walkingtogetaplate.“Igotthereandwalkeddowntoit,andthenIleft.”
“Thatdoesn’tmakeitbetter,”Clarabellasays,grabbingapieceofbaconandbitingit.
“Canyounotmakefunofyoursister?”Mymotherwringsherhandstogethernow”Lookather.”
Ilookdownatmyselfdressedintightsandasweater,thebunatthetopofmyheadfallingdown.“What’swrongwithhowIlook?”
“You’restillwearingyourmakeupfromyesterday,”mymotherinformsmebetweenclenchedteeth.“AndIthinkyouhaveaFrenchfryinyourhair.”Shepointsatthetopofmyhead.
Myhandcomesup,andIfeelit.“IfellasleepwhileIwaseatingfries.”Itouchmyhairandpullitout.“Idrankalotofwhiskeyandsweettea.”Iclosemyeyeswhenmystomachrisesandthenfalls.“I’mneverdrinkingwhiskeyagain.”Ilookatmysisters.“HowdidIgethome?”
“Draggedyouhere,”ClarabellasaysatthesametimePresleysays,“Unicorn.”
Ishakemyhead,sittingdownanddrinkingthecoffeeblack.WhenIwalkoutofthehouse,mymothergivesmeahugehug.“Didyouputondeodorant?”sheasks,andIgasp.“I’mjustchecking,gosh.”
Ishakemyheadandgetintothecar,wavinggoodbyeaswedriveaway.“Momisright,”Clarabellasaysfromthedriver’sseat.
“IfuckingputdeodorantonassoonasIwokeup,”Ihuffather,andshelaughs.
“No,notthat.”Sheshakesherhead.“Ialsowouldn’tworryaboutyousmellinglikeB.O.whenyousmelllikeyoubathedinwhiskey.”Iputmyheadbackonthepassengerseatandclosemyeyes.“Areyousureyouwanttogoalone?”Clarabellaasks,hervoicegoingsoft.
Iturnmyheadandopenmyeyes,lookingather.“Someonehastostayandfacethemusic.”Ismileather.“I’llgiveitacoupleofdays,andifitgetstobetoomuch,I’llcomebackearly.”
“Don’tyoudare,”shewarnswhenshepullsuptotheairport.Shegetsoutofthecar.“Yougoandsityourassdownonthatbeachandhavevacationsex.”Sheopensthetrunkandtakestheluggageoutandhuffswhenitlandsontheground.“Justdon’tbringhomeanythingthatcausesyoutoitch.”
“Oh,God.”Irollmyeyesandgrabthehandleoftheluggage,movingittothebackseatandgrabbingmybigcarry-onpurse.“Thanksforthepeptalk,”Itellher,givingherahug.“Callmeifyouneedanything.”
“Seeyounextweek,”Clarabellasays,walkingtothecarwhileIwalkinsidetheairportandcheckin.Igettothegateandsit,lookingoutofthewindowattheplanewaitingatthegate.Thelightsfromtherunwayslowlyfadeasthesunstartstocomeup.
Icrossmylegsandwatchthedarknessfadeintothelight.Iclosemyeyesforasecondandpicturemyselfwalkingdowntheaisle.Iopenmyeyes,seeingthepinksky,wonderinghowdifferentitwouldbeifeverythingworkedout.“Ladiesandgentlemen,wewillbeboardingflightnumberseventeenforty-sevennonstoptoTurksandCaicos.”
Istand,grabbingmybagandgettinginlinetoboardtheplane.“Goodmorning,”theattendantsays,andIsmile,walkingdownthejetway.AflightattendantistherewhenIwalkin.
“I’mthreeA,”Isay,walkingasIlookupatthenumbersandseemyseat.Isitinmyseatandtuckmybagundertheseatinfrontofme.
Openingtheshade,Iputonmyseatbelt.“CanIgetyousomethingtodrink?”theflightattendantasks.
“I’llhaveamimosa,”Isay,andshesmilesatmeasshewalksaway.Acoupleofpeopletricklebyasthetimepasses.
“Hereyougo.”Shehandsmethecrystalchampagneglass,andItakeasipasIlookoutthewindow,watchingthesunrise.IfinishthemimosainthreegulpsasIcountdownthetimeuntilwetakeoff.Myheartspeedsupasthenervesstarttocomeonfullforce.
“I’lltakethat,”theattendantsaysofmyglass,andIhandittoher.“Wearepreparingfortakeoff.”
IsmileatherandputmyheadbackasIheartheoverheadbindoorsbeingshut.Thecaptaincomesoutandgivesushiswholespeech.“Excuseme.”Ihearavoiceandopenmyeyes.“Isthisseattaken?”Acesays,smirkingatme,andhelooksjustasgoodasIdo.Seeinghimtherefillsmewithasenseofcalmness,andIcan’thelpbutsmileHewearsblueshortsandablueandwhitebutton-downshort-sleeveshirt.HisRolexistheonlythingonhisarm.Hishairlookslikehejuststeppedoutoftheshowerandbrushedhishandsthroughit.HisRay-Banglassesaresittingonhishead.Hiseyeslookbloodshot,andI’mprettysureminematchhis,butIhaven’tlookedatmyselfinthemirror,afraidofwhatwillbelookingbackatme.
“Thatdepends,”Isay,lookingaroundandsittingwithmybackagainstthewindow.“It’sonlyavailableifyourfiancécheatedonyouandyouarehereforagoodtime?”Heshakeshishead.“Ifthisisnotyou,thenyoucan’tsithere.”
Hethrowshisheadbackandlaughs.“Excuseme,sir,”theattendantsays,“ifyoucantakeyourseat.”
Hesitsdownandfastenshisseatbelt,thenlooksoveratme.“Sowhatchangedyourmind?”Iask,notreallycaringsincehe’shere.
“GettinghomeandseeingSheila’sshitallovertheplace,”heshares,puttinghishandsinhislap.Theplanejerks,andIyipoutandjump
“Areyouokay?”heasks,andIlookoutthewindowseeingtheplanemovingdowntherunway.
“Ihateflying,”Iadmit,lookingtomakesurethatnothingisburningontheplaneandwehavetoabortthemission.
Hegrabsmyhand.“Igotcha,”hesays,hisvoicecalmerthanI’veeverheardbefore.“I’vealwaysgotcha.”Chapter13
Ace
Ireachoverthebigarmrestinthemiddleofthetwofirst-classseatsandgrabherhandinmine.“Igotcha.”MyvoicecomesoutcalmwhenIseehereyesarefilledwithfear.“I’vealwaysgotcha.”Allshedoesisnodatmeandthenturnstolookoutthewindow.
“Icanprettymuchhandleanythingthatyouthrowatme,”shesays,tryingtoremaincalmastheplanemakesitswaydowntherunway.“Icouldprettymuchwrestlewithatiger,andI’dfeelbetterthanbeinginaplane.”Herlegstartstobounceupanddownasshelooksoutthewindow.
“Hey.”Sheturnstolookatme.“Don’tlookoutside,”Itellher.“Justlookatme.”
Theplanestopsforasecond,andIknowthatwearelininguptotakeoff.Ialsoknowthatonceitstartsmovingfaster,she’llprobablyfreakout.“Sowhattimedidyougethomeyesterday?”Iask,notsurethatIshouldevenbringupyesterday,butatleasthermindwillbeoffthetakeoff.
“Ihavenoidea,”shesays,leaningherheadbackontheseat.Shestillhassomemakeupfromyesterdayon,andhereyesareabrightbluewithredontheside,soI’massumingshesleptasgreatasIdid.“Iwaslookingforyou.”Herhandgripsmyhandatouchharderwhentheplanemoves.
“Ileftafteryoufellasleeponme,”Iinformher.“Walkedout,sawthefamilydancing,anddecidedthatthiswasnotwhatIwantedtodo.”
Shelaughs.“Right,becausegettingdrunkbyyourselfwasabettersolution.”
“Um,”Isay,rollingmyeyes.“Obviously.Whodoesn’tlikegoinghomeandgettingshit-facedandthenwakingupandthinkingaboutbeingfuckedoverinfrontofthreehundredpeople.”
Shenods.“That’sverymanlyofyou.”Shelaughsastheplanestartstomove,butshedoesn’tnotice.“Didyougohomeandrubdirtinit?”
“Iwokeupnakedonmyleathercouch,”Itellherthetruth,andhereyesgobig.“Andsomeonehadturnedofftheair-conditioning.”Iclosemyeyes.“Ihadtopeelmyselfoffit.”Hermouthdropsopen.“Wouldnotrecommendtoanyone.”Ishakemyheadastheplanespeedsupevenfaster,andIcontinuemystorysoshecanconcentrateonmeandnotthefactthatwearetakingoff.“Imean,IrecommendJosephdoitandSheila,butthat’saboutit.”
“Iwouldrecommendthattheypourhoneyallovertheirbodies,”shesuggests.“Andthengorollinsandandaddinacoupleoffireantsforsomefun.”
“Lookoutside.”Sheturnsherhead,andhermouthgoesintoasmile.
“Wetookoff,”shesays.“Ididn’tevennotice.Ihadtosharemymostembarrassingmomentwithyou.”Mythumbrubsherhand.
“Idon’tknowhowtothankyou.”Hervoiceislight,justlikeitwasbeforethedreadedday.Sheleansoverandkissesmycheek.“You’remyhero.”Myheartspeedsup,andmycheekstilltinglesfromwhereshekissedme.“Butseriously.”Sherelaxesinherchairnow,butherhandstaysinmine.“Whendidyoudecidetocome?”
“Tobehonest.It’sprettymuchablur.”Ishakemyhead,tryingtopinpointthatmoment,buteverythingiscominginbitsandpieces.“Idon’tknowwhenexactlyIdecidedtocomeonthistrip,butapparently,itwaswhileendingthesecondwhiskeybottle.Duringwhichtime,IwasstumblingaroundmyhouseandthrowingallofSheila’sshitinaplasticbag.Whenmyalarmwentoffthismorning,Ithoughtthehousewasonfire.Icouldn’tunderstandwhatwasgoingonIalsocouldn’tfindwherethefuckingblaringalarmwascomingfrom.Ikeptwalkingaroundthehousewithoneeyeopenbecausetheotheronewasseeingdouble.”
Hermouthopensasshetriesnottolaugh,butherblueeyeslightup.“Wheredidyoufindit?”
“Rightontopofthesuitcase.”Ishakemyhead.“IalmostkilledmyselfbecauseIkepttrippingalloverSheila’sshitthatwasscatteredalloverthehouse.”
“Ithoughtyousaiditwasinabag?”She’stryingnottolaugh.
“No,thatwastheplan.”Ilaughatmyself.“ButIdidn’texactlyopenthebagtoputthestuffin,soitmadeapathallthroughthehouse.”Sheputsherhandinfrontofhermouth”Alsodidthatfullynaked,sothatwasfun.”Herheadgoesback,andshelaughsagain.“ItookitasasignthatIshouldcomeanddrownmysorrowsinthesand.”
“Well,Ithinkthatwasagreatdecision,”shesays.“Wecandrowntogether.”
“Besides”—Ilookaround—”Icanonlyenduresomanylooksofpity.”
“MymotherwasstillgivingmethelookthismorningwhensheaskedmeifitwassmartthatIgo.”Sheshrugs.
“YourmotherwasthefirstpitylookIgot.”Ilaughather.“Imean,I’msureIgotlotsofthemwalkingdowntheaisleafteryouandignoringSheila.”Theattendantcomesoverwhentheseatbeltsigngoesoff.
“CanIgetyouguyssomethingtodrink?”
“I’llhaveanothermimosa,andhe’llhaveawhiskey,”Shelbysays.
Ishakemyhead.“I’lljusthaveicewater.”
“Howarewesupposedtodrownoursorrowswithicewater?”shehuffs,andIlaugh.Shefinallyletsmyhandgo.
“Iwassoparchedthismorning,”Itellher.“Idrankmyshowerwaterwhileitwaspouringonmyface.”
Shelaughsagain.“Thisisgoingtobeagreatweek.”Sheturnstolookoutthewindow.“Icanfeelit.”
“Idon’twanttofeelanythingthisweek,”Imumblewhentheattendantcomesoverwithatrayandhandsmemywater,andShelbyleansacrossmetogethermimosa.
“Toanunforgettableweek.”Sheholdsupherglass.“Oh,wait,isthatright?”Shelookstothesidenow.“Dowewanttoforgetthisweek,ordowewanttoforgetlastweek?”Irollmylipstokeepfromlaughingatherassheworksitoutinherhead.“Whatever.”Sheholdsherglassup,andIclinkit.
Therestoftheflightisuneventful,andIdozeoffforabit,wakingupwhenIhearthecaptainannouncingthatwewillbearrivinginfifteenminutes.Myneckhurtsfromstayinginthesamepositionfortoolong.Somethingticklesmynose,andIlookdowntoseeShelby’sheadfallingoffmyshoulder.Ithinkaboutwakingher,butIknowthatshehatesflying,soinstead,Ilethersleepuntilthewheelstouchdown.“Hey.”Iputmycheekonherhead.“We’rehere.”
Shegrumblesawake.“Whatisthatpounding?”Shelooksaround,andItrynottolaughather,butIcan’thelpit.
“It’scalledahangover.”Ireachoutmyhandandwipetheblackmakeupthatisunderhereyewithmythumb.“Also,yougotblackshit.”
“I’mstarving.”Shebendsherarmsandstretches,archingherback.Sheiswearingababy-bluetanktopwithspaghettistraps.“Ireallyneedtoeat.”ShegrabsthesweaterlaidoverherlapSheleansforward,grabbingherbagundertheseatinfrontofherandtossesthesweaterinsideit.Whentheplanestops,andweareallowedtogetup,Istepoutintotheaisleandholdoutmyhandforher.Sheslipsherhandinmine,andIpointattheoverheadbininsteadofaskingherbecause,forsomeoddfuckingreason,allthewordsarestuckinmythroatSheshakesherhead,andwewalkoutoftheplane.
Thehotairhitsusrightawayaswestandinthemiddleofthetarmaconthemetalstairs.“Whyisitsobright?”shemumblesaswemakeourwayintotheairport.Iholdthedooropenforherasshestepsintothecoolbaggageclaimarea.“I’mgoingtogodosomethingwithmyface.”Shelooksaroundforthesignstothebathroom.
“Whatcolorisyourbag?”Shelaughs.
“White.Itsaysbrideonit,”shesays,andIthinkshe’skidding.“Youwon’tmissit.”
Ishakemyheadandheadovertothebaggagecarousel.Thebeeptellsmethattheluggagewillsoonarriveastheareagetsmorecrowded.Thebeltstartsmoving,andwhenthefirstbagcomesout,Igroan.Shewasnotfuckingkidding.Notonlyisitwhitewiththebiglettersthatsaybridebutthereisalsotulletiedtothehandles.Igrabthebag,andthemanandwomanstandingnexttomesmile.Idon’tevenknowwhattosay.“Oh,yougotmybag,”Ihearfrombehindmeandturntoseeherwearingawhiteshirtnow.
“Ithoughtyouwerekidding,”IgrumblewhenIseemysilverluggagecomeout.
“Onedoesnotkidaboutabridesuitcase.”Shesmirksatme,andIseethatherfaceismakeup-freenow.Alltheblackmarksaregone.
“Apparently,oneneedseveryonetoknowthattheygotmarried.”Ismirkoveratherastheladythatsmiledatmeleansin.
“Congrats,youtwo,”shesays.“Youmakeabeautifulcouple.”
IlookatShelby,whojustnodsandthenturnsaround.“Remindmetogetacoupleofmarkerswhenwegettothehotelandfuckthisshitup.”Shelooksoveratmeaswewalktowardtheexit.
“Youknowwhatyoucando,”Isay.“Putrunawaybeforethebride.”Ilaugh.“Nooneisgoingtowanttotalktoyouaftertheyreadthat.”
“Thatjustmightbethebestplanyou’veeverhad.”Wewalktowardtheexitandseethedriverstandingtherewithabigsigninhishandwithheartsalloverit.
Mr.&Mrs.J.Romano
“He’snotgoingtoneedthatsign,”IsayundermybreathandlookovertoseehowShelbywillreact.Idon’thavetimebecausetheman’sfacefillswithahugesmile.
Hiseyesfindtheluggageashecomesovertous.“Welcome,”hesays.
“Whattippedyouoff?”Iaskhim,andhissmileneverleaveshisfacewhilehelooksdownattheluggage.
“That’swhatIthought.”Itrynottolaugh.
“Arethosetheonlybagsyouhave?”thedriverasksashetucksthesignunderhisarm,rushingtograbtheluggagefromus,andwebothnod.“I’lltakethat.”Hegrabsthehandlesashewheelsthembehindhim.“Ifyou’llfollowme.”
Wefollowhimtothewhitelimousine.“Youknowwhatthatoutfitismissing?”Iputmyarmaroundhershoulders.“Ahatwithaveil.”Sheturnsherheadtolookupatmeandglares.
“RememberwhenIsaidyoushouldcomewithme?”Shepushesawayfromme,butmyarmremainsaroundhershoulders.“Ilied.Youcangohome.”
“Gohome?”Istopasthedriveropensthedoor.Awhiteballoonfliesout,andfromthelooksofit,therearemoreinthecar”Andmissallthefun?”Chapter14
Shelby
“RememberwhenIsaidyoushouldcomewithme?”Itrytopushawayfromhim,buthisarmdoesn’tletmego.“Ilied.Youcangohome.”IwasannoyedwithhimbutalsoannoyedthatwhenIgotoutofthebathroom,andIlookedoverathim,Igotthissquishyfeelinginsideme.Itwasallthatfuckingwhiskey,Ithought.
“Gohome?”Iwatchthelonewhiteballoonescapethebackofthecarasthedriverholdsthedooropen.IhearAcechucklingnexttome,andIwanttogroan.“Andmissallthefun?”Heshakeshishead.“Nope.”Heducksandgetsintothecar.“Holyshit.”Helooksatme,andIcanjusttellthathewantstolaugh.“Dear.”HeholdsouthishandformebutIignoreitandgetintothecar.Ifhewasn’tright,Iwouldlaughoutloud.
TherearewhiteballoonsallovertheL-shapedseatswithMr.&Mrs.hangingoneachsideofthecar.“Thisisspectacular.”Hesitsbackandlooksaround.“Don’tyouthink?”
“Ishouldhavecalledtheresort,”Iadmit.“Fuck,”Isayasthedoorcloses,andthensodoesthetrunk.“Ineedadrink.”Ileanoverandgraboneofthechampagneflutesthatisfilled.“Areyoustillonyourwaterkick?”
“Nope,”hereplies,andIhandhimaglass.I’mabouttosaysomethingtohimwhenthecarstartsandthemusiccomingoutofthespeakersisaweddingmarch.“Isthat..?”Heputshisheadforwardtohearbetter”Isthatthe‘weddingmarch’?”
“Todivorce.”Iholdupmyglassanddon’tevenclinkitwithhisbeforeIfinishthewholethinginonego.Igrabthebottleandjusttakeasipfromthetop.“I’massumingyoudon’twantany.”
“Youwouldassumecorrectly.”Hetakesasipofhisdrink.“That’snotthatbad.”HelooksattheglassasIlookoutthewindow,seeingcrystalbluewateroneithersideofus.
Neitherofussaysanythingasthecarstops,andIputthehalf-emptybottlebackintheholder.“You’renottakingthattogo?”heasks,andIjustglareathimasIgetoutofthecarfirst.ItakeastepandthenstopwhenIseeawomanholdingupthesamesignthatwesawattheairport.Amanstandsbesideherwithasilvertrayandtwoglassesofchampagne.
Ace’shandrestsonmyhipashetriesnottopushmedown.“Whydidyoustop?”hegruffsoutandthenlooksup.“OhmyGod.”Ilookupfrominfrontofhimasheputshissunglassesonhishead.“Ididn’tthinkitcouldgetworse,”hemumbles.“Fuckme.”
“Mr.andMrs.Romano,”themansays,comingtous.“I’myourconcierge,Roberto.”
“Nope,”Acesaysfrombehindme,andmyheartspeedsup,thinkingabouthowI’mgoingtohavetotellthisstrangerthatIdidn’tgetmarried.“Iactuallytookhername,Mr.Baker,”hesaysandtheman’sfacedrops.“We’reamoderncouplelikethat.JustcallusAceandShelby.”
“Noproblem,sir,”heresponds,holdingthetrayinfrontofus.Therearealsotwowhitetowelsrolledbesidetheglasseswithlittleheart-shapedconfetti.Acekeepsonehandonmyhipwhilehegrabsaglassandhandsittome.
“Whatthehellareyoudoing?”Ihissathimasmyhandcomesuptotaketheglass.
“Ifyouwillcomethisway.”HishandpointsatthegolfcartthatisdecoratedwiththesameMr.&Mrs.thatisinthecar.
“Afteryou.”Acemoveshishandfrommyhiptothelowerpartofmyback.“Missus.”
Ifliphimthebird,downingmyglassofchampagneandthenhandingittotheladybeforeIclimbupintothegolfcart.IgrabAce’sglassanddrinkit,thenhandhimbacktheemptyglass.“That’smybride.”Iglareathim,andhelaughsasmyheadjerksbackwhenthegolfcartstartstomove.
“Ifyoulookoneitherside,”Robertostartstalkingaswemakeourwaydownthepathwaythatisawoodenbridge.“Youwillseesixprivatevillas.”Ilookoverandseethreeoneachside.”Eachvillahasitsownpoolandoceanentrance.”
“Thisplaceisgorgeous,”Acesaysfrombesideme,andIjustnod.TheminuteIsawitwhilescrollingonInstagram,Iwasasuckerforit.
“Eachvillahasitsownconciergeforallyourneeds.Weareoncalltwenty-fourhoursaday.”Robertolooksintheback,smiling.“Whateveryouneed.”Hestopswhenwegettothelastvillaattheveryend.“Thisisthebestvilla,”heannounces,gettingout.
“Howmanytimesdoyouthinkhesaysthataday?”Aceaskswhenhegetsoutonhisside,andIfollowhimgettingoutonmyownside.
“Rightthisway.”HewalkstowardthedoorthatsaysSixonit.Heopensthedoor,andyoucanseeallthewaythroughtotheback.
Iwalkinfirstandstopagaininmytracks,makingAcesmashintome.Hishandgripsmyhiponceagain,andmystomachflutters.Thereareredrosepetalsinapathfromthefrontdoortotheglassdoorsthatleadtothebedroom.Whitecandlesinglassvaseslightupthealreadybrightroom.Abeigecouchagainstthewallhasabrowncoffeetableinfrontofit.Asilverbucketsitsinthemiddlewithabottleofchampagnechilling.Twocrystalglassesarenexttoitwithawholeplateoffreshfruit.Robertoisgoingonandonabouttheroom,andIslowlymoveawayfromAceandhisgriponmetogostraighttothebedroom.Thewholebackwalloftheroomisglasswindowsthatslideopen.Asoftbreezemakesthewhiteveilthatishangingaroundthefour-posterbedsway.“Ifyoucomethisway,”Robertoinvites,steppingoutinfrontofthebedtothepatiothatlookslikeitgoesallthewayaround.“Thisisyourprivatepool.”Hepointsatthepoolofftothesidenexttothefour-posterdaybedthathasthesamewhitelinenonit.“Andthosestairsleaddowntotheocean.”Hegesturestothestairs.
“Thereisonlyonebed.”IlookbackatRoberto,whojustsmirksMyheartsuddenlykicksupwhenIfeelAcebesideme.
“Onlyonebed.”Henodsatme.
“Sohowaboutanothervilla?”Aceaskshim.“Likethatone.”Hepointsatthevillanextdoor.
“Youdon’tlikethisone?”Robertoasks,crushed.
“Oh,welovethisone,”Acestartstosay.“Butisthereonewithtwobeds?”RobertolooksatAceandthenmeandthenbackatAceagain.“Shesnores.”Andmymouthgoeswideinshock.
“Hesquealslikeapigwhenwehavesex,soIdon’twanttobothertheneighbors.”
Heclapshishands.“Thisisahoneymoonresort.Butit’sverydiscreet,andyoucan’thearthesex.”
“Whataboutaroomoverthere?”Hepointsatwhatlookslikelittlevillas.
“That’sthefamilypartoftheresort,andit’sallbooked.Thereisabighockeyfamilydownforafamilyvacation.Bookedthewholething,”Robertosays.“Yourelax,andIgetyourluggage,yeah?”
“Thatsoundsgreat,”Isay,suddenlynervousthatI’llbestuckhereinaone-bedroomroomwithAce.
Henodsandwalksoutoftheroom,andIlookoveratAce.Hisarmcomesuptorunhisfingersthroughhishair,andIseethemusclesofhisarmbulge.Hisbutton-downshirtalsoliftsabitatthehem,andIhavetolookawaybeforehecatchesme.“It’sgoingtobefine,”hesays,andIlookoverathim,finallyseeinghimholdinghisneck,whichmakeshischestpuffout.I’vealwaysfoundhimattractive.Ifyouaskedmewhatmyhusbandwouldlooklike,Ialwayssaidbrownhairandblueeyes.“Wecanmakethiswork.Icansleeponthecouch.”Heturnstowalkbackintotheroomandstops,andIstopnexttohim.
Thereisarose-petal-shapedheartinthemiddleofthebed.“Jesus.”Hescratcheshisheadandheadsbackintothelivingroom.Therosepetalsunderhisfeetgoeverywhere.Hegrabsthebottleofchampagneandpopsit.It’sexplodingalloverhim,sprayinghisshirtandthenontohisshorts.Hetriestojumpoutoftheway,butitslowlystops.“ThatdidnotworkoutthewayIthoughtitwould.”Helaughsathimself,puttingthebottledownonthetableandthenunbuttoninghisshirt.Myeyeswatchhishandsasifit’sinslowmotion.Hegetstothelastbuttonandthenjustletshisshirthangonthesides.Hebendstograbthechampagnebottleandfillsbothglasses,andthenheshakesofftheexcesschampagneonhishands.“Hereyougo.”Hepicksuptheglassesandholdsoneoutformewithasmile.Everythinginsidemesuddenlystops.Myheartspeedsup,andmystomachfeelslikethereisatornadogoingoninsideme.“Tothemissus.”Hesmirksandholdsuphishand.Myeyesgotohischest,andIswallowdown,liftingmyhandandclickingmyglasstohisbeforeturningaroundasifmyeyeswouldburnoutofmyskullifIkeptstaringathim.
Thereisaknockonthedoor,andI’msuddenlyhappytogetmyheartratedownasIseeRobertocomeinwithourluggage.“Hereyouare.Ifyoulike,wewillbringyousomelunch.”
IjustnodathimwhileAceputshisglassdownandgoestograbhisbag.“Imadeamess,”hesays,pointingatthefloor,andRobertojustlooksathim
“Wewillcomebackandcleanitrightaway.”Hetakesouthiswalkie-talkiefrombehindhimandcallssomeone,walkingoutoftheroom.Iturnback,lookingatthewater,andthenmyeyesgotothesingleking-sizedbed.
“Maybethiswasn’tsuchagreatideaafterall.”IturnbackaroundtotalktoAceandseehimturningtowalktothesidewherethebathroomis.
“Idon’tknowaboutyou,”hesaysoverhisshoulder,“butthatwateriscallingmyname.”Hewalksintothebathroomandclosesthedoorbehindhim,andIletoutthehugebreathIwaskeepingin.
Myhandcomesuptotouchmyface,andIwonderifmaybeI’mgettingafever.“Thatwassoweird,”Ivoiceoutloudtotheemptyroom.Walkingbackovertothetable,Ipickupthechampagneandpourmyselfanotherglasswhenthebathroomdooropens.Imakethemistakeoflookingup,forgettingI’mpouringchampagneuntilIhearitspillingontothetable.“Shit,”Isay,avoidinglookingbackatAce.Hestepsoutofthebathroomwithonlyhisbathingsuithanginglowonhiships.AlothaschangedsinceI’veseenhiminabathingsuitlastyear.One,he’salotleaner,buthismusclesaremoredefined.Hischestisperfect,andthenmyeyesroamdowntohisabs,whicharesoonpointit’slikeawashboard,andthenthesidehasthatmusclethatyouseeinguysonthecoverofthoseromancebooks.Iwonderwhatitwouldfeelliketobiteit,myheadthinksrightbeforetherightsideofthebraintellsmetogetundercontrol.
“Areyouokay?”Helaughsnervously,andallIcandoisnodmyhead,leaningoverandsippingthetoptomakesureIdon’tspillanymore.“Areyoucoming?”Hepointsatthewater.
“Yeah,”Isaytohisretreatingback.Puttingtheglassdown,Iruntomyphone.
MyhandsshakeasIstartthetexttomysisters.
Me:Maybecomingherewasamistake.
Clarabella:Negative.
Me:IthinkIhavejunglefeverorsomething.
Presley:Youcan’tgetjunglefeverfrombeingtherefortwohours.
Me:I’msufferingfromsomething.Myheadisalloutofwhack.
Clarabella:Youjustfoundoutthemanyouweregoingtomarryisfuckingoneofyourfriends.Ifyourheadisn’toutofwhackfromthat,Idon’tknowwhatwillmakeitbeotofwhack.Drinkacocktail.
Withafrustratedgroan,Igotomyluggage,unzippingitandopeningitup.IsquatdowninfrontofitandgroanwhenIseemyclothes.“It’sallfuck-meclothes.”Iclosemyeyes.WhenIwaspackingforthisvacation,Idecidedthattheskimpiertheoutfit,thebetter.Iworkedoutlikeamadwomanforthepastsixmonths,andIwasgoingtoflauntthebenefitsfromit.IrummagethroughthestringthongsandlingerieuntilIspotthemostconservativebathingsuit.
“It’sgoingtobefine,”ItellmyselfwhileIwalktothebathroomandundress.“It’sgoingtobefine.It’sAce.”ItrytoconvincemybrainofthatasIslipmyfeetintothebathingsuit.Thebottomofthesuitiswhitewhilethetopisblack.It’saone-piece,butthemiddleisaroundcircle,leavingmystomachandundermyboobsbare.Thesashthattiesinthemiddleisheldonbygoldchainlinks.Itakeonelookatmyselfandthenturntoseethatit’sbarelycoveringmyass.“Heregoesnothing,”Isay,pullingopenthebathroomdoorandwalkingthroughthevillatowardtheback.
Itakeastepout,andthehotsunhitsmerightaway.Iputmyhandonmyforehead,blockingthesunandlookingforhim.Heissquattingdowninthewater,lookingupatthesun.Hishairiswetandslickedback.“Hey,”IsayonceIgetdowntothelaststepbeforegettingintothewater.Hiseyesopen,andhelooksoveratme.Hismouthhangsopenwhenheseesme.“How’sthewater?”Iaskrightbeforeawavecomesandknockshimdown.Chapter15
Ace
IfeeltheheatonmyfaceasIlookupattheskyandthenhearher.“Hey.”Iopenmyeyesandlookoveratthedock,wherethestairsareasshestandstherein.Ican’tevendescribewhatshe’swearing.AllIknowisthereisalotofskinshowing,andherunderboobsarestickingout.Mycockriseswithjustonelookather”How’sthewater?”sheasks,andeverysinglewordI’veeverlearnedisgonefrommyvocabulary,asmymouthopensandclosesandnothingcomesoutrightbeforeI’mhitintheheadwithawave.
MyheadcomesoutofthewaterasIchokefromswallowingsaltwater.Ilookoverandseeherwalkingintothewater.“It’ssowarm,”shesays,walkingtome,andIsuddenlywishtherewasanicebathIcoulddunkmyselfinto.
“I’veneverseenyouinthatbathingsuit.”Thewordsjustcomeoutofmymouth,andIwanttobitemytongue.Myheadgetsreallyhotwiththesun,andIthinkthatmaybe,justmaybe,I’mhavingaheatstroke.IlookupatthesunhighintheskywhenIhearavoicecallover.
“Mr.andMrs.Baker,”themansays,comingovertothedock.“Ibroughtyousomedrinks.”Heplacesthetrayheisholdingontopofthewaterandpushesittous.“Iwillcomebackwithmore,”hesays,wavingandturningaround.
“Oh,lookhowcutethisis,”shesays,grabbingthetrayandmovingittothemiddleofus.“Theyhavelittlenamesforeverydrink.”Thereareeightdrinksonthetrayinshortglasses.“Thisissexonthebeach.”Shepicksupthefirstoneandtakesasip.“Hmm,thattastesgood.”Shelooksatme.“Shouldwetryeachofthemorfinishoneoffafteranother?”
Atthispoint,Idon’tthinkIshouldeventouchthealcoholinfrontofme.Mybrainisgettingallfoggedup.“Weshouldtasteeachoneandthenratethem,”mymouthsayswhilemybrainyellsit’sabadidea.
Sheclapsherhands.“Thatsoundslikethebestidea.”Thesmileonherfaceissobright.“Ineedglasses.”Sheturnsandwalksbacktothesteps.IfIthoughtthefrontwasracy,Idefinitelywasnotexpectingthebackpartofit.Thebathingsuitgoeshighupbutbarelycoversherass.It’snotathong,it’sevensexier,andIclosemyeyesandtrytocounttoten.“Doyouwantyours?”sheasks.Iopenmyeyes,andallIcandoisnodSheswaysherhipsasshewalksbackupthesteps.“Whatthefuckisgoingonrightnow?”Ipickupthesexonthebeachdrinkanddownitinthreegulps.
Ihearherwalkingbackdownthestepsandseethathernipplesarehardasshewalksbackintothewater.“Hereyougo,”shesays,handingmemyglasses,andIputthemonsoshedoesn’tseemeogleher.“Youfinishedsexonthebeach.”Shepicksupherdrink,andittakesherfourgulpstofinishhers.“There,weareeven.”Shesmilesatme,andIhatethatIcan’tseehereyeswithherglasses.“Whatarewetryingnext?”sheasks.“Let’strythisone.”Shepicksupthegreendrink.“Thisiscalledskinny-dip.”Shegigglesandhandsmemine.Wetakeasipatthesametime.“Thisisokay,”shedeclares,scrunchinguphernose.“It’stoosweet.”
“Same.”Iputthedrinkdown,thinkingit’snotagoodideatoputmorealcoholinme.
“ThisisaFrenchkiss,”shereads,pickingupthelightpinkdrink.Shetiltsherheadtotheside,anditwouldtakenothingformyheadtobendandtaketheFrenchkissfromher.Sheholdsthedrinkuptoherlipsandtakesasmallsip,andshemoans.“Thisisagoodone,”shesays,finishingitall,andItakeasipandfinishmyown.
“Thatwasgood,”Iagree,andIpickupthelastone.“That’scalledaloveaffair,”Isay,handingheraglassandthentakingmyown.Iholdupmyglass.“Toloveaffairs.”
“Ialreadylovethisdrink,”sheclaims,finishingherglassbeforeshecaneventellmeifit’sgoodornot.“Yum,”shesays,lickingherlips.“Sunandalcohol,doesn’tgetbetterthanthat.”
Inodather.“Sowhatwasyourplanfortheweek?”Iaskassheholdsoutherhandformydrink.Ihandittoher,andshetakesasip.
“IwasplanningongettingdrunkandsleepingwiththefirstpersonIsaw.”Shelaughsandthrowsherheadback.
Istareather.“It’sahoneymoonresort,”Igaspandtrynottolaugh,andshejustshrugs.
“Therehastobeonepersononthisislandwhowouldfuckme,”shesays.
Sunandboozeshouldnevereverbemixed,especiallywhenoneisnexttothehottestgirlhe’severfuckingmet.Especiallywhenhiscockishardasarock.“Theredefinitelyis,”Isayorbetteryetmycocksaysitforme.Herheadwhipsovertome,andshe’sabouttosaysomething.Myheartspeedsup,andI’mthinkingaboutwhatI’mgoingtosaythatwillmakeanyofthismakesense.Icanhearwordsinmyhead,butI’msavedbythebellwhenwehearsomeoneapproaching.
“Mr.andMrs.Baker,herearesomemoredrinksandsomesnacks,”anothermansays.She’sabouttosaysomething,andIjustholdupahand.Heputsthetraydown.“Iwillbehereifyouneedsomething.”
“Oh,God,”shesays,finishingoffthedrinkshehadinherhandtocallhimback.
“It’snotevenworthit,”Itellher.“WhatwecandoiseverytimesomeonesaysMr.orMrs.,wetakeashot,andiftheysayitatthesametime,it’sdoubleshottime.”
“Yes,Ilovewhenweplaydrinkinggames,”sheannounces,gettingclosetome,andIhavetosquatdowninthewatertomakesureshedoesn’tseemybonerbecausetherearenowordsinthedictionarythatcanjustifygettingahard-onforyourbestfriend.“RememberthattimewewatchedTheBachelor,andwedrankeverytimesomeonesaidthattheyfellinlove.”
“Rememberthattimewewatched90DayFiancé,andthewordgreencardcameup?”Ishakemyhead.“IthinkIpassedoutfortwodays.”Shethrowsherheadbackandlaughs.“Soseriously,didyouguysnotplantodoanythingwhileyouwerehere?”
“Wehaveaprivateboattourtomorrow,”shesays.“Andamassagethedayafter.Thentherewastheparasailing.”
“Didyouplanallthat?”Iask,knowingsheprobablywouldhaveplannedthemassagebutnotsureabouttheprivateboattour.
“Sortof.Ijustleftituptothehotel,”shesays,turninginthewaterandgrabbingapieceoffruit.
“Well,let’smakethebestofit,”Isuggest,andshenodsatme.Westayinthewatersolongwearebothshriveled,andwhenshegetsout,mybodygoesstiffagain.Robertoistherewaitingwithtowelsforus.
“Wewillbehavingdinneratsix,”hesays,handingmemytowel.Igrabitfast,wrappingitaroundmywaist,hopingshedoesn’tseemycockhardagainforher.
“Thatworks,”Ireply.“Whydon’tyougotakeashowerfirst?”Shegrabsapieceofpineappleandwalksintothehouse.
Iclosemyeyesandputmyhandsonmyhips.“You’reacreep,”ImumbletomyselfasIwalkovertothedaybedbutstopwhenIseethatourluggageisstoredunderthebed.Iwalkovertotheclosetandseeourthingshangingandopenthefirstdrawer,andallIseeisstringandlaceandallofitwhite.“Jesus,”Isay,shuttingitbackrightaway.
Imoveovertothedaybedandliedown,closingmyeyes.Idon’tknowhowlongIliehereuntilIhearhersay,“Okay,youcanhavethebathroom.”Shewalksoutwrappedinawhiteplushrobeandherhairtwistedinatowel.
“I’llleavethedooropenincaseyouneedanything,”Isay,gettingupandthenonlyrealizingwhatIsaidonceI’minthebathroomdoor.WhythefuckwouldIleavethedooropenifI’mnakedintheshower?“Idiot,”Isay,lookingoveratthetubthatsitsinfrontofthewindowthatshowsyoutheocean.Itakeashower,andallIcandoissmellherallaroundme.Herstrawberrychampagnebodywashissostrong.IgetoutandwrapthetowelaroundmywaistandlookupattheceilingwhenitdawnsonmethatIhavenoclothesinthebathroom.Istickmyheadout,lookingaround,andwhenIdon’tseeheranywhere,IwalkoutandgotothebedroomandthenstopwhenIseeheroutsideleaningagainsttherailing.Herhairisdownandblowinginthewind.Herlongdressisalsoflowinginthebreeze,andIrushtograbmythingsbeforeshenotices.Shemustseemovementbecausesheturns,andIstopmidstep.“Forgotmystuff,”Iadmitassheturnsfullyaroundwiththesunsettingbehindher.Herblacktubetopleaveshershouldersbareandalsofallsjustaboveherbellybutton.ThelongblackdressthatIthoughtshewaswearingisactuallypants,andwhenshetakesastepforward,thewholefrontofitopensallthewaytothetopofherhips.Herfacehasabitofredfromthesun.”Youlook..”Isay,pointingather.
I’mabouttosaysomethingelsewhenthereisaknockonthefrontdoorthatiswideopen,butmyeyesneverleavehers.“Mr.andMrs.Baker,”Robertosays,smiling.“ShallIcomeback?”heaskswhenheseesmeinmytowel.
“I’mjustgettingdressed,”Imumble.Walkingtothecloset,Igrabmythingsandgobackintothebathroom.Isliponmyblackboxersandblackshortswithablack-and-whitebutton-downshirt.WhenIwalkout,she’ssittingonthecouchdrinkingashot.
“HecalledmeMrs.fivetimes,so.”Shepointsdownatthefullshotglass.”Youhavesomecatchinguptodo.”Iwalkuptothetableanddowntheshotswithoutlookingather.
Wewalkdownthewoodenboardbridge,andallthroughsupper,wekeepdoingshotsandlaughing.Atonepoint,IthinktheycalledmeMrs.Whenshegetsupfromthetable,shehastoholdtheedge,andthenshesitsbackdown,andherlaughterfillstheroom.Iholdoutmyhandforher.“Shallwe,Mrs.”Ijokewithher,andsheputsherhandinmineaswewalkout.Herfingerslinkwithmineaswewalkdownthelitpatch,zigzaggingalongtheway,andatonepoint,westopwalking”Isthat?”Iholdupmyhandtomakeeverythingaroundmegoquiet,butallyoucanhearisthesoundofthewatercrashingontherocksandtheninthefardistancemoaning.
“Isthatsex?”Shetriestowhisper,butitcomesoutlouderthanherregularvoice,andshestepsclosertomeassheconcentratesandlistens.“Someoneisgettingitontonight.”Shegigglesaswecontinuewalking.
Whenwewalkintotheroom,webothstopwhenweseemoredecorationsnow.Thistime,it’sallwhiterosesscatteredwithwhitecandles.“Iftheyaregoingtodothiseverynight,Idon’tknowhowIcanstayhere.”Ilookaround,andshewalksovertothebedroom.“Also,ifIneverseeanythingwhiteagain..”
“Let’sgowatchthestars.”Shemotionswithherhead,andsherollsherlipswhenshelooksintothebedroom.“Becauseyoudefinitelydon’twanttosleeponthebed.”Chapter16
Shelby
“Let’sgowatchthestars.”Imotionwithmyheadtowardtheoutdoorarea.IstopwhenIseethewhiterosesonthebedinaheartwithourfirstlettersinredinthemiddleofthebed.IlookbackatAce,whostandsbythedoor.“Becauseyoudefinitelydon’twanttosleeponthebed.”Ipointatthebed,andheglaresatmeashewalksbesideme.
“OhmyGod.Well,atleasttheydidn’tputaJ,”hesays,shakinghisheadandwalkingouttowardthedaybed.“Wedon’tneedanotherroom.”Heliesdownononeside.“Icansleepouthere.”
Myfeetmovefasterthanmybraindoes,andbythetimeIrealizesomethingishappening,Iliedownontheothersidelookingupatthesky.“Isitme,oraretherealotmorestarsinthesky?”IaskhimasIseethetwinklinginthesky.
“Youknowwhatkeepsgoingthroughmyhead,”hesays,andIlookoverathim,andformorethanthesecondtimetoday,I’mstruckbyhowhothehis.IdrankmorethanmyshareofboozewhilewewereintheoceantodaybecausethereweretimesIwantedtoleanoverandlickhischest.“Areyoulistening,ordidyoufallasleep?”Helaughs.
“I’mlisteningwithbatedbreath,”Isay,knowingit’swrong.“Whatisgoingthroughyourheadrightnow?”
Hetakesadeepbreath.“Whatthefuckhappened?”
“Youaregoingtohavetobemorespecificaboutthat.”Ilaughathimasasoftbreezerunsoverus.
“Whendiditstart?”Iturnonmysidetolookathim.HelooksupattheskyasIwaitforhimtogivememoreofhisthoughts.
“I’mprettysureitstartedwhenwegotinthecar,”Isay,giggling,andhelaughs.“ButIthinkitstartedtogodownhillwhenwedidthesexonthebeachdrinks,oritcouldhavebeentheshotswedidatdinner.”
“Notthat.”Heshakeshishead,andhisvoicegoessoft.“Sheilaandlikewhenshetoldmeshewasworkinglatewasthatwhenshemethim?WhenIwentawayforwork,didhespendthenightatherhouse?Didtheysleeptogetherbeforethewedding?Didwegooutonadate,andthenhewentoverwhenIdroppedheroff?”Heturns,andIseetheanguishinhiseyes.“DidIdosomethingwrong?”
“No,”Iwhisper,myhandcomingoutandgoingonhischest,feelinghisheartbeatingundermyhand.“Wedidnothingwrong.IwentthroughitinmyheadoverandoveragainthewholetimeIwasgettingmymakeupdone.IwouldlookoveratSheilaandwonderdidshefuckhimrightbeforeshegothere.Didhecallherthismorning?WhatdidshegivehimthatIdidn’t?”Itakeadeepbreath.“Toansweryourquestion,thisismoreofathemproblemthananusproblem.”Hejustsmilesatme,andIclosemyeyesforasecond,oratleastthatishowlongitfelt.
ThenextthingIknow,Ihearbirdschirping.Ihearmyselfgroan,andItrytoopenmyeyes,buttheyfeelsealedshut.Ifocusonthetaskofopeningmyeyes.Oneofthemfluttersopenforhalfasecondbeforeitshutswhenthebrightnessofthesunhitsme.Imovemyheadtotheside,tryingtowetmylips,butmymouthisdry,andIfeellikesandisonmytongue.IhavetowonderifIsleptwithmymouthopenandsomesandflewintoit.Itakeadeepinhale,andIfeelthisheavinessonmychest.Igroanandopenoneeye,lookingaround.Memoriesoflastnightcomebackinblocks.Dinnerandthenlookingatthestarsandthentalking.Ilookover,seeingAceasleepbesideme.Iclosemyeyesandturnmyheadandtrytomove,butsomethingisholdingmedown.WhenIopenmyeyesandlookdownatmychest,Iseehishandiscuppingmybreast.Almostlikeadeathgrip.MyeyesopenwideasIlookaround,notmovingasinglemuscleinmybody.Hishandisonmybreast,myheadscreams.Irepeat,hishandisonmybreast.Iignorethelittlebutterfliesinmystomachorthefactthatmyheartspeedsup.
“Morning,”Ihearhimmumblefrombesideme,andmyheadturnstolookathim.Hiseyesopenandcloseforasecondashegetsusedtothesunlight.
“Morning,”Ireplyashefinallyopenshiseyes.Ilookathimandthenlookdownatmybreast,hopinghefollowsmyeyes,buthedoesn’t.Iswallowdownthecottonballthatisinthebackofmymouth.“Doyoumind?”Isay,lookingathimandmotioningwithmyheadtohishand,tryingtomakethisasunawkwardasIcan.
Hesmirksatme,andthenhesays.“Doyoumind?”Hiseyesgofromminedowntohiscock.AndIshriekwhenIrealizethatmyhandisrightonhiscock,andit’shard.“OhmyGod.”Iwhipmyhandoffandjumpoffthedaybed,avoidinghiseyecontact.“Ididn’tknow.”
“It’sfine,”hemumblesandrollsoffthedaybed,hisshirtallwrinkledandhiseyeslookingsleepy.
“I’mgoingtothebathroom,”Ideclare,notwaitingforhimtosayanythingandrunningintothebathroom.Iclosethebathroomdoorbehindmeandhangmyhead,myeyeslookingatmyhandthatwasonhiscock.“Whatthehellwereyouthinking?”Ipushawayfromthedoorandwalkovertothebathroomsink,turningonjustthecoldwater.Icupmyhandsunderthestreamofwaterandthenthrowitonmyface.IrepeatitthreetimesbeforeIgrabasmallplushwhitetowelanddabmyfacewhilelookingatmyselfinthemirror”Whatthehellisgoingonwithyou?”Iaskmyreflection,wonderingifsomeoneelsewillanswer.Instead,thereisaknockonthedoor.Ilookoveratthecloseddoor.“Yeah.”
“Areyougoingtobelonginthere?”Aceasks,andIputthetoweldown,walkingovertothedoorandopeningit.IavoidmakingeyecontactwithhimasIwalkpasthim,andallIcansmellishisaftershave,whichmakesmybodycomealive.Hewalksintothebathroomandclosesthedoorbehindhim,andallIcandoiswalkovertothebarareaandgrababottleofwater.Iopenitanddownhalfofit,sittingonthecouch.WhenIhearthedooropen,Ilookupandseethathe’swashedhisfacealsoandhaspushedhishairbackwithhishands.
Helooksatme.“Maybethisisabadidea.”ThewordscomeoutofmymouthbeforeIevenprocesswhatIwasgoingtosay.“Thiswholethingbeinghereatahoneymoonresortit’s…”
Ilookathim,hopinghe’lljumpinandagreewithme.Andhelookslikehe’sgoingtosaysomethingwhenthereisaknockonthedoor.“Forahoneymoonresort.”Hemovestowardthedoor.Myeyesgotohisassandthenquicklylookupwhenhelooksoverhisshoulder”Theyhavetheworsttiming.”
“Goodmorning,Mr.Ace,”Robertosays,rollinginacartfulloffood.“IhopeIdidn’twakeyou.”
“Nope,”Irespondwhenheseesme.“Weareawake.”
“It’sgoingtobeabeautifulday.”Hisvoiceischipper,andIlookoveratAce,whoisjuststaringatmeandmakingmeevenmorenervous.“Thecarleavesinthirtyminutes.Iwillsetthisupoutside,yes?”heasks,andIjustnodathim.
“Shouldweevengo?”IlookatAce,tryingnottooverthinkthings,butmybrainisgoingaroundandaroundinacircle.ThesoundofachampagnebottlemakesuslookouttowardRoberto,whoisfillingtheglassesformimosas.
“Let’seat,”Acesuggests,andwhenIwalktothetableandsitdown,IactuallyeatmorefoodthanIthoughtIwould,butneitherofussaysanythingtoeachother.“I’mgoingtogogetchanged,”hesayswhenhefinisheshisseconddish.“Andthenyoucango.”
“Yeah,”Isaywhenhewalksin,andIlookattheglassofmimosa,thinkingIshouldn’tevenpermitmyselftodrinkit.Butmyhandthinksbeforemyhead,andIdownthedrink.Iputtheglassdownwhenhewalksoutofthebathroom,andhe’swearinganotherpairofshorts.Thispairisgreenwithlittlepineapplesonthem.“Doyouhaveabeachbag?”heaskslikehedidn’tjustwalkoutofthebathroomlookinglikeoneofthoseGQguysonfitnessmagazines.
“Whendidyoustartworkingout?”IfIwantedtocrawlintoaholebeforethosewordscameoutofmymouth,thesewordsmakemewantthefloortoswallowmewhole.
“Um,IstarteddoingCrossFit.”Hesmirks.“Andthenjustbikingandliftingweights.”
AllIcandoisnodathim,gettingupandwalkingovertotheclosetIseethatit’shalf-empty,andthenIopenthefirstdrawer.“Notmydrawer,”IsaywhenIspottwoboxesofcondomsandthensomelubeandalsosomemassageoils.“Didyoubringthis?”Ilookoverathim,andhewalkstome.Helaughsoutwhenheseesthedrawer.
“Someonewasexpectingtohaveaparty.”Hepicksupthelubenow.“What’sintheseconddrawer?”heasks,andIshakemyhead.
“Probablywhipsandhandcuffs,”Imumble,walkingovertotheotherclosetandfindingmythings.”I’mgoingtochange,”Isayashepicksuptheboxesofcondoms.
“He’sAce,”ImumbletomyselfasIsliponthepinkbikinitop.“It’sAce.”Ishakemyheadtomakethefuzzinessbecomeclear,butallIcandoisseehimsmirkingatme.SlippingonthepinkbikinibottomswithleavesIlookatmyself,seeingthatmyassisagainnotcoveredbutit’sbetterthanthestringbikinithatIhaveThecrochetcover-upshowswhatI’mwearingunderitbutatleastsomeofmeiscovered.
“Thecarishere,”Acesays,andIopenthedoorwalkingtograbmybeachbag.”Hesaidthathehaseverythingreadyforusandtojustbringourselves.”Idon’tsayanythingtohimasIgrabmyglassesandwalkoutwithhimfollowingme.Ilookovermyshoulderandseehiseyesonmyass.Whenheseesmelooking,heputshissunglassesoverhiseyes.“It’sreallybrightoutside,”heclaims
Igetinthegolfcart,andhesitsrightbesideme.“Areweready?”Robertosaysfromthefrontwithenthusiasm.
IwanttotellhimthatnooneisreadyThatthisisabadideaandthatweshouldpackourstuffandgohome.Butinstead,Ianswer,“AsreadyasI’lleverbe.”Chapter17
Ace
“Watchyourstep,”thecaptainsaysaswestepontotheboat.Shelbyputsherhandinhisasshetakesastepontothebackoftheboat.Herassisbarelycoveredinthatwhitedress.WhenIwokeupthismorningwithmyhandonhertit,IthoughtIwasgoingtodie,butthenIfeltherhandonmydick,andIdidn’tfeelsobad.
“Welcomeaboard,”thewomansays,holdingatraywithdrinks,andafterlastnight,I’mnotsureIshouldbedrinkinganythingtoday.
“Thankyou,”Shelbysays,smilingather,andthengrabsoneoftheglasses.
“Wewillbeleavinganysecond,”theladydeclares.“I’mSimone,andI’llbeassistingCaptainDavey.Ifyouneedanything,justletmeknow.Thereissunscreenonthetable.”Ilookoveratthewoodentablewithfourchairsandseethebigbowlinthemiddlewithallthesunscreens.
Shelbywalkstothetable,puttingherstrawbagdownandthenherglass.Shelooksatme.“Areyounotgoingtodrink?”
“Maybelater,”Isay.Myeyesneverleaveherface,butshedoesn’tknowthissinceI’mwearingmysunglasses.
“Ifyoulike,youcanwatchfromthefrontoftheboat,”Simonesugggests.“Oryoucansitouthere.”Shepointsovertothetwocouchsetsthataresittinginthesun.
“I’mgoodwhereveryouwanttogo,”ItellShelby,andshesmiles.
“Let’sgositinthefront.”Sheturnsandwalkstotheinsideoftheboat,wherethereisasmallkitchenandanotherlivingroomset.Shewalksthroughtothefrontoftheboat,goingdowntwostepsbeforearrivingatthebignetoverthewater.“Oh,thislookslikeanaccidentwaitingtohappen,”shesays,puttingonefootonthenet,andmyhandreachesoutforhers,makingsureshedoesn’tfall.
Shelaughs,andItakeastepdownwithherhandinmine.WhenIgetmysecondfootonthenet,Ireleaseherhandandputmyarmaroundherwaist.“Canyouimaginedoingthisdrunk?”Shelaughsaswemakeittothemiddle.Idon’tanswerherbecauseherhandgoesonmineonherwaist,andmycockspringstoaction.Ilookdown,makingsuremywhiteshirtcoversit.“Thisisgood.”Shestopsandbendstoherkneesandthensitsdown.IfollowherandlookoutatthedockasSimonestartstountieus.“It’ssopretty,”shesaysasthesunshinesrightaboveus.
IstretchmylegsoutinfrontofmeandleanbackonmyhandsasIwatchusgetfartherawayfromthedock.Shesitsbesidemeinthesamepositionasme,andallIcanseeareherlongbarelegs.LegsI’vealwaysadmiredfromafar.Legsthatalwaystemptedme.
“Wearegoingtoanchortheboat,”Simonesays,standingonthesideoftheboat.“Andsetoutthetoysforyou.Whatwouldyouliketodo?”
“Ihavenoidea,”Shelbyrepliesandturnstolookatme.“Whatdoyouwanttodo?”
“Whatdopeopleusuallydo?”Iask,andshesmirksatme.
“Theyusuallydrinkalotandthenhavesex.”Shelaughsatherownjoke.“Buttheyusuallystartwiththepaddleboarding.”
“Okay,”Shelbysays.“Well,I’llstartwiththepaddleboardbutnoboozeforme.”Shelbylooksatme.“Whataboutyou?Didyouwanttodothesex?”shesaysandthenshakesherhead.“Imean,paddleboard.”
Ichuckleathernervousness.“Icandoboth,”Ianswer,andShelbyturns,gettingonherknees.
“I’mgoingtogotothebathroom.”ShecrawlstowardSimone.“Canyoushowmewherethebathroomis?”Simoneturns,andshefollowsher,anditgivesmeachancetoletoutthebreathIwaskeepinginsidemeandadjustmyhardcock.
“Calmdownthere,buddy,it’sano-flyzone,”Iremindhim,gettingupandwalkingbackinside.ItakeoffmyshirtasSimonewalkstothefront,andIheartheanchorgoingintothewater.Grabbingthesunscreenfromthebowl,IputabitinmyhandandstarttodomylegsandthenmychestwhenShelbycomesbackout.“Canyoudomefirst,andthenIcandoyounext?”
Iaskher,andhereyesgobiglikesaucers.“Thesunscreen,”Iexplain,holdingupthebottle.“WhatdidyouthinkImeant?”Iputmyheadtothesideandwaitforhertoanswer,butallshedoesisshakeherhead.
Shewalksovertothetraywiththesparedrinkandfinishesitoff.“Obviously,Ithoughtyoumeantsunscreen.”Shetakesoffherwhitecover-up,whichmakeseverythingsomuchworse.Ihavetoswallowdownthelumpinmythroatandturnaround.“Thisisgoingtobecold,”shetellsmerightbeforeshesqueezesthesunscreenatthetopofmyshoulders.
“Notcoldenough,”Imumble,closingmyeyesandtryingtogetmycocktogodown,butthenherhandsareonme,andifthatdoesn’tjustmakemycockharder,Idon’tknowwhatwill.Sherubsincircles,andIclosemyeyes,countingtoten.Iopenmyeyeswhenthatdoesn’thelpandlookupatthesky.
“Okay,timeforyoutodome,”sheinvites,andmyeyesrolltothebackofmyhead.Luckily,sheisnotfacingmewhenIturnaround.Shetiesherhairtothetopofherhead,andIputthecreaminmyhandasIrubitonhershoulders.IthinkaboutanythingbutthefactthatI’mtouchingher.“Thatisgood,”shesayswhenIspendmoretimeonherthanIshould.Sheturnsaroundandgrabsthesunscreen.Afterputtingsomeinherhand,sheliftsherlegtoputitonthecouchandbendsovertorubherself.IswearI’mgoingtocomeinmyshortslikeateenagedlittleboylustingoveraSearscatalog.
“I’mgoingtogoout,”Itellher,hopingIcangetintothewatertocooloffmydick.IfindSimoneandDaveyoutthereandjumpinthewaterwithouteventalkingtothem.Thewateriscrisp,butitdoesn’tlastlong.Istandinthewater,anditreachesuptomychest.WhenIlookup,Iseeherwalkingontothebackoftheboat,andIhavetostopforasecondandtakeherin.Shelaughswiththem,andmychesttightens.“Doyouneedhelp?”Iask,gettingclosertotheboat.
“IthinkI’llbeokay,”sheassuresme,avoidinglookingatme,andIwonderifshesawmydickhardforher.Fuck,Ishouldsaysomething.“Daveyexplainedhowitworks,”shesays,andIlookatDavey,readytothroatpunchhim.
Shegetsonthepaddleboardonherknees,andIholditinplacesoshedoesn’tfall.“Igother,”ItellDavey,whoholdsthebackpart.Helooksupatmeandletsgo.
“Idon’twanttofallin,”shesays,andIlookatherasIhandherthepaddle.
“Thebestthingistostartonyourknees.”Shereachesouttograbthepaddlefrommeandshriekswhenshetipsover,fallingontome.Igrabheraroundherwaistbeforeshefallsintothewater.“Igotyou,”Isaysoftlyandshejustlooksatme,neitherofussayinganything.Shepushesawayfrommeafteraminuteandthengoesbackonherknees,andshestartstopaddle.“Whenyougetyourbalance,”Itellherasshegoesaroundinacircle.“Youcanstand.”IgrabmyownpaddleboardandgetonitDaveyhandsmeapaddle.WhenIstandonmine,Igoslowlynearherasshegetsonherfeet.
“Ididit!”sheexclaimswithahugesmile,andIcan’thelpbutsmileather.
“Youdid,”Isay,andwepaddlesidebysidethewholeday,neitherofussayingaword,andeverytimeIwanttosaysomething,Ishyaway.Westopforlunch,andagain,it’ssilence,andIfuckinghateeverysecondofit.
Onlywhensheisfinished,shegetsup.”I’mgoingtogolieinthefront,”shesays,andallIcandoisnodmyheadinsteadofsayingwhatisonmymind.
Ileanbackinthechairandgrababottleofwater,gettingupandjoiningherinthefront.Sheislyingonherbackwithhereyesclosed.Istandoverhertoseeifshe’llopenhereyeslikeshealwaysusedto,butshedoesn’t.Isitnexttoher,thewholetimemyfingermovingupanddown.
Whenwegetbacktothedock,Robertoistherewaitingforus.“Welcomeback,”hesays,holdingatraywithdrinks.Shegrabsone,andIgrabtheother,butshedoesn’tdrinkit.Shehasn’ttouchedanythingbutwaterallday.“Howwasthecruise?”
“Beautiful,”shesays,gettingintothegolfcartandslidingoverforme.Isitnexttoher,thedrinkinonehandasItossmyshirtovermyshoulder.“Niceandpeaceful.”
Wegettothevilla,andshegetsoutbeforeme,walkinginside.ThecoldairhitsmerightawayandIclosethedoorbehindme.“IthinkI’mgoingtoshower,”shesaysoverhershoulder.“Unlessyouwantedto?”
“Ithinkweneedtotalk,”Ioffer,andshestopsinhertracks.“Ihatethatyou’relikethis.”
Shelooksatme.“Likewhat?”
“Likequietandshit,”Isay,mywordscomingoutlikewordvomitinsteadofmetakingthetimetothinkofthewordsIwanttosayandhowIwanttosaythem.“Wehavetotalkaboutthismorningandstuff.”Iwaitforhertosaysomething,anything,andshedoesn’t.“Okay,well,obviouslyI’vealwaysbeenattractedtoyou.”Ilookatherfacetoseehowshewillreacttothenews.
Hereyesneverleavemine.“Same,”sheadmitstome.“Butwewerefriends.”
Iputmyhandsonmyhipsnow.“WekissedtwoyearsagoonNewYear’sEve,”Ifinallysay.“Andthenaweeklater,youweredatingJoe.”Ithrowmyhandsup,andshejustlooksatme.
Hermouthhangsopeninshockassheclosesitandopensitagain.“Thatwasn’tyou,thatwasJoe.”Shepointsatme,andI’mtheonewhoisshocked.
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”Isay.“Wewereoutsideonthebalconyandlookingupatthestars.Yougiggledatmeandstartedsinging‘Twinkle,TwinkleLittleStar.’”Iwaittoseeifthememorycomesbacktoher.“Youturnedandthrewyourhandsaroundmyneck.”Iwalktohersofrustratedthatshedoesn’tremembertheonemomentinourrelationshipthatIwanthertoremember.”Maybethiswillhelp,”Isay,grabbingherfaceinmyhandsandloweringmylipstohers.Mytongueslidesoutofmymouthintohers,andItastethesweetnessofherdrink.Myeyeswanttostayopentowatchhers,butIcan’thelpbutclosethemandbeinthemomentofthis.Myheartgoesamillionmilesaminuteasshekissesmeback.HerhandsgotomyhipsasIturnmyheadtotheside,deepeningthekiss.IwishIcouldsaythatit’sasgoodastheonetwoyearsago,butit’snot.It’sevenbetter.It’samilliontimesbetter.Ilethergonow,myhandsfallingfromherface,andIwonderifI’veruinedeverything.
Herhandsgotoherlips,andshelooksatme.“OhmyGod,”shewhispers.“Itwasyou?”sheputsherhandonherforehead,“Allthistime,itwasyou?”
Myheartpoundsinmyearsasshestaresatme.“Um,yeah.”Chapter18
Shelby
Heletsgoofmyface,andallIcandoisstandhere,mybodylimpasmyeyesflutteropenandIseehiminfrontofme.Itrytofindthewordtodescribewhatjusthappened.I’mtryingtogothroughmywholedictionaryofwordsthatIhavetomakesurethatIfindtherightwords.ButallIcandoissaythreewordsoverandoveragaininmyhead,andthenitjustcomesout.“OhmyGod,”Iwhisper,myfingerstouchingmylipsthathejustkissed,andiftheydidn’ttingle,Iwouldthinkitwasallinmyhead.“Itwasyou?”Myheadspinsaroundthisinformation.“Allthistime,itwasyou?”
Hejuststaresatme,hischestgoingupanddown.“Um,yeah.”
“But..”Isay,shakingmyhead.“But..”It’stheonlywordIcansaywhenIlookathimashestaresatme.Thismanwhobecamemybestfriendallthoseyearsagowhilewestudiedinalittlecoffeeshopwherewedrankmorecoffeethanweshouldeverdrink.ThemanwhocheeredmeonwhenIsaidIwasgoingtostartourcompany.ThemanwhoIcallwheneverIhavetotalkthingsthrough,themanwhoIwouldprotectwithmylife.“Buthetoldmeitwashim.”
Aceshakeshishead,puttinghishandsonhiships.“Incredible.Obviously,heliedtoyou.Nooneissurprisedthere,especiallyafterwhathappened.”
Iwalkovertothecouchandsitdown.“Imean,hecheatedonme.”Ilookupattheceiling,tryingnottoletthetearsescape,andI’msurprisedthatnotearsarethreateningtocomeInstead,whatI’mfilledwithisangerthathefuckingliedtomefromthebeginning.“Chancesare,he’sbeenlyingtomeforalong,longtime.”MyheartspeedsupinmychestasIballmyhandsintofistsbesidemyself.“WhywasIsofuckingstupid?”Iwaitforhimtoanswermyquestion,buthedoesn’t.Instead,hisfeetmovetowardme.
Ittakeshimtwostepsbeforehe’sinfrontofme,pushingthetableoutofthewaysohecangetonhiskneesinfrontofme.“Hey,”hesayssoftly.“Don’tyoueversaythat.Youtrustinghimdoesnotmakeyoustupid.”
“Itshould,”Ireply.“Thiswholetime,IthoughtthebestkissthatIeverhadwaswithJoe.”
Acesmirksandthenlooksatme.“Wait,thebestkissyou’veeverhad?”heasks,andIgetupnow.
“Ineedaminute,”Itellhim.“I’mgoingtogoshower,andthenyouaregoingtogoshower.”Ipointathim.“Andthenwe’regoingtotalkaboutthis.”
Hegetsupandsmirksatme.“Youbetyourasswearegoingtotalkaboutthis.”
Mybodyshiversathiswords.“I’mgoingtohavelotsofquestions,”Iinformhim,andhejustsmilesatme.
“Iwouldn’texpectanythingless.”Ishakemyhead.“Oh,andI’mgoingtohavelotsofquestionsalso.”
Inodathim,turningandwalkingtowardthebathroomandclosingthedoorbehindme.Myheadisstillspinning,andItouchmylipsagain.ThatkisswasevenbetterthantheoneIrememberedvaguely.ItwasakissthatIhavebeensearchingfor,forthelasttwoyears.ItwasakissthatIthoughtImadeupinmyhead.ItwasakissthatIrememberedbutcouldn’tseehisfaceuntiltoday.Untilhekissedme.“Ace,”Iwhispertomyselfandgetintotheshower.“HowdidInotknow?”Iaskmyself.“Howcouldyounotremember?”Yes,Iwasdrinking.NotonlywasitNewYear’sEvebutwehadjustclosedthebiggestcontractwehadeversigned.Igrabtheplushrobeandslipiton,thenwrapmyhairupbeforewalkingout.IstopwhenIseeRobertotherewithAce.
“Thatsoundslikeaplan,”Acesays,walkingtowardme.“Ineedtoshowerbecausewehaveatalktogetto.”Hewalkspastme,andIhearthedoorclosebehindhim.
“I’llgeteverythingsetup.”Robertonodsandwalksoutoftheroomwiththewalkie-talkiebyhisear.
Idon’twastetimethinkingaboutanythingasIruntotheclosetandrummagethroughalltheclothesIbrought.“Whatistheleastsexythingyoubrought?”Ipickupthewhitestringthongwithapieceoffabricthatcoversalmostnothing.Iputmyfeetthroughit,hopingthatthestringdoesn’ttwistandgointomyskin.Igrabthematchingbraandalittlewhitedressthatmoldstomyeverycurve.Takingthetoweloffmyhead,IlookoutsidetoseeRobertosettingupatable
“Wearealmostfinished,Mrs.Shelby.”Hesmiles,andIjustnodathimasthedoortothebathroomopens,andAcecomesout.Heisholdingawhitetowelaroundhiswaistasheshakeshisheadsidetosideandthenrunshishandthroughhishair,pushingitback.WhateverIwasthinkinginmyheadisgone,andtheonlythingIcandoislookupathimupanddown.
“What’sgoingonoutside?”Iaskhim,andhestopsbesideme.AllIcansmellishisbodywash,andmymouthwaters,thinkingaboutthekiss
“Youlikeeatingoutside,”hetellsme.”SoItoldhimtosetupdinneroutside.”Iturnmyheadtolookathim,mymouthopening.“What?”heasksofmyshockedlook.
“Nothing,”Isay,shakingmyhead.“Thereissomuchgoingthroughmyheadrightnow.Ineedaminutetoprocesseverything.”
“Well,yougetfiveminutesbecausethisishappeningassoonasI’mdressed,”heinformsme,walkingovertotheclosetandgrabbinganoutfit.
Hewalksbackintothebathroom,andRobertocomestotheopenglasswall.“I’llbebackwiththefood,”hetellsme,andallIcandoisnodathim.
Itakeastepoutofthebedroomasthesunisslowlygoingdown,andtherearelitcandlesalloverthedeck,givingyousomelighttowalk.Thesoundofthewaveshittingthestairssoundslikeit’sfromoneoftheappsyoufindontheinternet.Thesoundsofcricketsalsofilltheair.Thebreezegoesthroughmyhair,andIjusttakeasecondtotakeadeepbreath.
ImakemywaytothetablethatRobertowassettingupatthefarendofthedeck.Awhitelinentableclothcoversthetableandhangstotheground.Whitechairsaresetupfacingthewater.Littlepinkrosepetalsarescatteredallaroundthetablewithtwocandlelanternsinthemiddlewithabouquetofpinkflowersattheedgeofthetable.“Atleastit’snotallwhite,”IhearfrombehindmeandlookovertoseeAcecomingtomewearingblueshortsthatarelooseonhimandacream-coloredlong-sleeveshirtpusheduptotheelbowswiththreeopenbuttonsatthetop.Youcanseehowhisfingerswentthroughhiswethair.
“It’snotallwhite.”Ismirkathim.“Andtheyusedpink.”
“Theydidn’thaveanypeonies.Iasked.”Hestopsnexttome.
“Whydidn’tyoutellmeitwasyou?”Idon’twaitforhimtosayanythingtomeorgivehimawarningthatthistalkwillbestartingalotsoonerthanheprobablythoughtitwould.
“Howdidyounotremember?”Hecountersmyquestion,andIlookupathim,hisblueeyeslookingdarkerinthislight.ButInowcanseethemclearasdayinmyheadwhenIleanedintohim.It’sasifhimtellingmethatitwashimmadetheboxofmemoriesopenandescape.
“Isortofdid,”Iadmit.“ButthenIthoughtitwasjustmyimaginationbecause,well,I’vethoughtaboutkissingyouforalongtime,andthenIcametoseeyouthenextday,andyoudidn’tsayanything.”Itiltmyheadtotheside;hehastotakesomeblameforthis.
“Ithoughtyouregrettedit,”hecutsin.“Ikeptaskingyouifyouhadagoodtime,andallyoucoulddowasnodandavoidmyeyes.”Heputshishandsinthepocketsofhisshorts.“Thequestionis,howdidyouthinkitwasJoseph?”
“Iranintohimtwodayslater,”Itellhim.“HekeptgoingonandonaboutwhatagreattimehehadandhopedthatIdidalso.ThenhesaidthatheenjoyedNewYear’sEveandspendingitwithme.So,Iassumedthatitwashim,andwell,Iwentoutwithhim.”
“Um,nottoknowanyotherdetails.”Heholdsuponehand.“BecausetherearethingsIdon’twanttoknow,butdidn’tyounoticehowdifferentthekisswas?”
“Idid.”Ithrowmyhandsintheair.“ButthenIthoughtitwasallinmyheadandthatallthechampagneskewedit.”
Hetakesastepforward.“Nothingaboutthatkisswasskewed,”hewhispers,hishandcominguptoholdmychin.“ThekisswaseverythingIthoughtitwouldbeandmore.”Hiseyessearchmineasmyheartspeedsuptenfold.Hebendshishead,andmybreathhitchesashecomescloser.I’mwaitingforhimtokissme,waitingforhimtodoanything,butallhedoesisrubhisnosewithmine.“Thatkisswasfouryearsinthemaking,andinthreeminutes,itwasdone.”
Ilaugh.“Thatdoesn’tbodewellifit’soverinthreeminutes,”Ijoke,buthiseyesdon’tleavemine.
“Shelby,”hewhispers,andrightbeforeheisgoingtokissme,wehearvoicescomingcloserandcloser.Acegroans,lettingmyfacego.“I’mgoingtodosuchaheatedreviewonthisplace,”hesaysthroughclenchedteeth.“It’sahoneymoonresort,andtheyarealwayspoppingup.”
“Maybeit’sasign.”Iputmyhandtomystomachtostopthewaymystomachisfluttering.“Thinkaboutit,wekissedtwoyearsagoandthenwentontodateotherpeopleWeweregoingtomarryotherpeople.”Hejustwaitsformetofinishmythoughts,knowingIneedtogetthisout.“Andthatwearehereonthisislandatahoneymoonresort,andeverysingletimewearegoingtodoanything,weareinterrupted.”IpointatRoberto.“Itmightbeasignthatweshouldn’tgothere.”
“Or,”hestarts,smirkingatme,“it’sjustgivingusthetimetocometotermswiththingsbecauseonceitstarts,it’snotgoingtostop.”
“Arewestilltalkingaboutus?”Ilaughanxiously.
“Shelby.”Hesaysmynameclearasday.“ThenexttimeIkissyou.”HelooksovertoseehowcloseRobertois.“I’mnotgoingtostop.Idon’tcareifthewholeresortcomesouttowatch.”Helooksatmesquareintheeye,andallIcandoistrytoswallow,butmymouthissodrythatittakesalot.“Takethatasasign.”Chapter19
Ace
ShestandsinfrontofmeasshegoesthroughthesignsofwhyIshouldn’tkissheragain,buteverysinglethinginmeistellingmethatthisisthemoment.Thisrighthere,nomatterhowwegothere,isourmoment.“Shelby.”Isayhername.“ThenexttimeIkissyou.”ItakeasecondtolookoverandseehowcloseRobertois.“I’mnotgoingtostop.”Myhandsitchtotouchher,andbeforeIcaneventalkmyselfoutofit,Ireachupwithonehand,rubbinghercheekwithmythumbtocalmherdown.“Idon’tcareifthewholeresortcomesouttowatch.”Ilookherstraightintheeye,mypalmsgettingsweatyasmyheartspeedsup.”Takethatasasign.”
“But,”sheinterjects,andmymouthjustcrashesdownonhers.Mytongueslidesintohermouthjustlikeitdidbefore,andit’sfuckingperfection.Herhandsgotomywaist,andatthatmoment,Idon’tcarewhoisaroundandwhoisn’t.Ihearthefootstepswalkingawayfromusandstopkissingher.
“Roberto,”Isayashestartswalkingaway.“Idon’twanttoseeanyonearoundthisvillatonight.”
Hesmilesandnodsatme.“Noproblemo,Mr.Ace.”Hepushesthetrayoffoodtous.“Youserveyourselfwhenyouareready.”HelooksatmeandthenatShelby,winkingather.
“OhmyGod,”Shelbysays.“Didhejustwinkatmebecausehethinksthat?”Sheturnstome,andIdon’tgiveherachancetothinkaboutanything.Instead,myhandscomeuptocupherface.“Ace,”shesaysbeforemymouthfallsontohers.Hermouthopensformewithoutthinkingtwice,andthistime,herarmswraparoundmyneck.OneofmyhandsfallsfromherfaceasIwrapmyarmaroundherwaist,pullingherclosertome.Shearchesherback,andmyhandgoesdowntoherass.Mycockisreadyforwhateveractionisgoingtocome.“Ace,”shesaysmynameinapantasIbendmyheadandkissherneck.Shepushesherchestintome,andit’smyturntomoan.
“Shelby.”Ikissdownherneck.Thearmaroundherwaistpicksherup,andI’mexpectingtocarryherinside.WhatI’mnotexpectinghertodoiswrapherlegsaroundmywaist.“Fuck,”IsayassheleansbackabitsoIcanseeherface.Thewindblowssomeofherhairinherface,andshepushesitawaywithherhandandthenshakesherhead.Myhandthatisn’taroundherwaistcomesup,andIrubherbottomlip,myeyessearchinghers,waitingforhertotellmethatshe’swithme.I’msearchinghereyesforhertotellmethatshe’sokaywiththis.
Sheputsherhandonmycheek.“Ace.”Shesmiles.“Idon’tknowwhyyou’restopping.”Shesmirks.“Especiallywhenwegetinterruptedsomanytimes.”
“Notthistime,”Ideclare,takingasteptowardthebedroom.“Thistime,nooneisgoingtointerruptus.”
Sheleansforward,rubbinghernosewithmine.“Youpromise.”Sheleansforwardandkissesmeforthefirsttime.Hertongueslidesintomymouth,andjustlikethefirsttimetwoyearsago,mywholebodycomesalive.Iwalkintothebedroomandbypassit,goingforthecouch.NotwantinghertothinkIwantanythingmorethanjusttohaveherinmyarmsMyhandsgotoherass,andwhenIfinditbare,Istopwalkingmidstep.ShestopskissingmewhensherealizesthatI’mnotwalking.“What’sthematter?”
“Umm,”Isay,myheartabouttobeatoutofmychest.“Myhands,”Istarttosay,notsurewhatelsetosay.Shelooksoverhershouldertryingtolookatsaidhandsandthenlooksbackatme,notsurewhatisgoingon.“Myhandsareonyourass,”Itellher,andshesmirksatmeandthentriesnottolaughatmewhenIsaythenextwords.“Onyourbareass.”
“Doesmyassoffendyou?”sheasksandthenuntanglesherlegsfrommywaistandstandsinfrontofme.HerdresshasriddenuptoherstomachasshestandsinfrontofmewiththetiniestfuckingpantiesI’veseeninmylife.Idon’teventhinktheycanclassifyaspanties.“You’veseenmeinabathingsuit,”sheremindsme,andsheturnsaround,showingmeherass.Andwhatafuckingassitis.
“Beforeyouhadlike,covering.”Itrynottodroolatthesightofher,butallIwanttodoisgetonmykneesandbiteit.“Nowit’sjust.”Ihavetoclosemyeyesbecausetheimagesofherleaningoveraremakingmycocksohardthereisnobloodleftformybrain.
“ShouldIcoveritup?”Shegrabsthehemfromaroundherstomachandmovesherhipssidetoside,bringingthematerialdowntocoverherself.
“Stop,”Isay,steppingforward.“It’sjustgoingtorideupagain.”Ismirkatherassheturnsaround.
“Imean,ifit’sjustgoingtorideupagain..”Crossingherarmsaroundherwaist,shegrabsthedressandpullsitoverherhead.
IfIwasspeechlessbefore,Idon’tknowwhattocallitnow.Shestandsinfrontofmewiththematchingbratothepanties.Exceptthebrabarelycovershernipples,thethinstrapsaroundhershoulderslookliketheyareabouttosnap.“There,thisisbetter.”Shegrabsmyhandinhersandturnstocontinuewalkingtothecouch.“Don’tyouthink?”
“Shelby.”Isayhernamebetweenclenchedteeth.“Thereisafineline.”Ipullhertome.“ThatI’vebeenholdingsinceyoucameoutinthatfuckingblack-and-whitebathingsuit.”Iadmittoherforthefirsttimeandtomeaswell,“IwasluckythatthewaveknockedmeoverbecauseIthinkmytonguewasgoingtotouchthesand.”Shelooksupatme,andtheonlylightintheroomisthesoftlightcomingfromthebedroom.“Andit’sabouttosnap.”IpullhertomesoshecanfeelhowhardIam.
“Good,”shesayswithatwinkleinhereye.“BecauseI’vehadsomeveryinappropriatethoughtsaboutyou.”Shegetsonhertippy-toes.“Thoughtsthatinvolvelotsofskinandtouching.”Sheleansherheadbackandbitesmyjaw.“Thereisalittlearea,”shesays,andIjustcrashmymouthdownonhersandpickherup.Sheletsgoofmylipstolaughbeforeframingmyfacewithherhands.HermouthcomesbacktomineasIwalktothecouchandsitdown.IdefinitelywasnotthinkingthisthroughwhenIdidthis.
Shestraddlesmylap,herpussylineduprightonmycoveredcockthatisfeelingsuffocated.“Ace,”shemoansmynameasherhipsmoveupanddown.Myhandsgotoherhips,andonemovesuptothemiddleofherback,pullinghertome.Herheadhangsback,andmyhandmovesuptogripthehairatthebaseofherneck.“Yes,”shehisseswhenIpullherheadbackandbendtotakehernippleinmymouth.Mytonguedipsbetweenthelaceofherbraandhernipple.Hernipplepebblesundermytongue,andIsuckit.Herhipsmoveupanddownslowly,makingsurethatsherubsmywholecoveredshaft.“Ineed,”shestartstosay,andherhandreachesbehindhertounclipherbra,givingmefullaccesstohertits.Ileanbackabitandlookattheperfectionthatsheis.Hertitsarefull,andmyhandcan’thelpbutcomeupandpalmit.Ireleaseherhairandleanbackasmyotherhandgrabstheotherbreast.Mythumbandforefingerrollthenipplesandthenpullthem.
Hereyescloseasherhipmovementstartstogoabitfasternow.Icanfeeltheheatfromherpussyrightonme,andifshecontinuesdoingthis,I’mgoingtocomeinmypants,literally.Ileanforward,takingthenipplebackintomymouth,andthistime,herhipsmoveinacircle.MyarmmovesaroundherwaistasIpickherupandturnheraround.Herbackisonthecouch,herhairfanningacrossit.Hernipplesarepebbledandaskingtobebitten.“Shelby.”I’monmykneesinthemiddleofherlegs.“Thereisnogoingback,”Iinformher,waitingforhertotellmetostop.Myheartispoundingsohardinmychestitechoesinmyearsasthesecondsfeellikehours.Myeyesstareintohersassheslowlysitsupinfrontofmeandkissesmyneck,exactlywhereshecanfeelmyheart.
“Myheart,”shesays,hertonguecomingouttolickmylips,“isbeatingasfastasyours.”Shethenburiesherfaceinmyneckasshekissesme.
“Tellmewhatyouwant,”Iaskher.Shestopsmoving,andmybodygoesstill.ImoveawayfromherjustatouchsoIcanseeherface.Myhandgoesunderherchintomakeherlookupatme.“Don’thidefromme.”
“But..”shestartstosayandthenswallows,andIknowwhatevershe’sthinking,she’sembarrassedbyit.
“Hey,”Iuttersoftly,movingmoreintoherasherlegscomeupandlockaroundthebaseofmyback.“Nohiding.”
“But,”shesaysandthenlooksupattheceilingandblinkshereyes.“It’sjustthat.”
“Shelby,ifyouwant,wecanputalltheclothesbackonandjustlietogetherandtalk,”Itellher,andshegasps.
“No,”shedenies,almostshouting.“ThatisnotwhatIwanttodoatall.”
“Sothen?”Ilookather.
“Ugh,fine.”Sherollshereyes.“Iwantyoutotouchme.”
Mymouthgoesintoasmirk,andIcan’thelpthesmilethatcomesoverme.“Really?”Iaskher,andshenods.“Where?”Ilookintohereyesandbenddowntokissherlips,slidingmytongueintohermouthassheslideshertongueintomine.Aroundandaround,ourtonguesdancetogetherasshemovesherheadtothesideasthekissgoesdeeper.Herlegstightenaroundmywaist.Iletgoofherlips,herchestrisingandfalling,andIbend,suckinginanipple.“Tellmewhere,Shelby.”Imovefromonenippletotheother.
“Ace,”shemoansmyname,andit’sthesexiestthingI’veeverheardinmylife.“Iwantyoutotouchme”—shepants—”everywhere.”Chapter20
Shelby
“Ace,”Imoanouthisnameashesucksonenippledeeperthanthelastnipple”Iwantyoutotouchme”—Ipantout—”everywhere.”Myheadisgoingtoexplodewiththeanticipationofhimtouchingme.HiseyesgoadeepblueafterIsaythewords,andI’mafraidthatI’veupsethim,andIwanttocovermyselfup.MaybeIwastooforwardwithhim.I’msuchahussyistheonlythingIcanhearinmyhead.“Butifyoudon’twantto.”Itrynottosoundhurt,butmyvoicedoesn’thideanything.
“Lieback,”hecommandsme.“Andspreadyourlegsforme.”Mystomachflutters,andmybodymovestohiscommand.Iliebackonthecushions,andmylegsdropfromaroundhiswaist.HiseyesneverleavemineasIliebackandopenthemforhim.“Fuck,”hehissesrightbeforehishandscometothelittlesquarewhitematerialinthemiddleofmylegs.“You’rewet.”Hisfingertipsgrazerightovermyclit,andIgroan.Before,whenIwasstraddlinghim,IthoughtIwasgoingtocomejustfromrubbingmyselfonhim.Mybodyisonfireforhim,unlikeI’veeverbeenbefore.“Pushyourlegsback,”hesays,hiseyesonhisfingersthatrubmyclitoverthefabric.“Ineedtotasteyou.”Hisfingersmovethematerialtotheside,andhismouthisonme.Histongueslidesupmyslittowardmyclitinonelonglick.“GoodGod,”hesaysagainashelicksbackup,andthenwhenhegetstomyclit,heusesthetipofhistonguetogoaroundinasoftslowcircle.Mylegsopenwiderforhimashesucksmyclitintohismouth.
“Ace.”Isayhisnamefranticallyasmybackarchesoffthecouch.
“Youwantsomething?”heasks,lookingupatmeashelicksupandthenaroundandrepeatingittwomoretimes.“Tellme.”Hesucksmyclitintohismouthashewatchesme.Myhipsmoveuptogetclosertohim.Mybodyfeelslikeit’sgoingtoexplode.“Tellmewhatyouneed.”Hesucksmypussyintohismouth,andmyhandsmoveovermyheadtothebackofthecouch.
Ilookintohiseyes.“Ifyoudon’tmakemecome,”Ipantoutashishottongueslidesinsideme.“I’mgoingtorideyourfaceuntilyoumakemecome.”
Hesmirksatmeandkissesthesideofmylegnexttohishead.“I’llmakeyoucome,”heassuresme.“Youjusthavetotellmehowyouwantit.”Helicksmesoftly.“Doyouwantitsoft?”Histonguegoesaroundinacircleinwhatfeelslikeaneternity.“Ordoyouwantithard?”Henipsatmyclitandsucksitintohismouth.
“Fuckme.”Mybodyshivers.
“That’safter,baby,”hesays.“Rightnow,Ijustneedtoknowhowyouwantmetomakeyoucome.”
Ican’teventhinkasIwatchhimlickmeupanddown,takinghistime.“Hard.”That’stheonlywordIgetoutbeforehegroansandslidestwofingersintome.Hisotherhandholdsmylegupsohecangetintherebetter.Thetipofhistongueflicksmyclitwhilehefinger-fucksmewithtwofingersSlammingintomeoverandoveragainwhilebitingmyclitandthenflickingitEverytwopumps,hebitesandthenflicks.“I’malmostthere.”Idon’tthinkheisevenlisteningtomebecausehismouthistoobusypushingmetotheedgeofthecliff.Iletgoofthecouchandrollmynipplesbetweenmyfingers,feelingitinthecenterofmycore.MylegsmoveontheirownasItrytoopenwiderforhim,andthenmyhipsstarttomove.“Ace,”Ipantouthisnameasoneofmyhandsgoestothebackofhishead,andIpullhishair.“Rightthere,”Isayashisfingerfucksme,rubbingovermyG-spotoverandoveragain.
“Ican’tgetenough,”headmits,suckingmyclitintohismouth,andallIcandoisclosemyeyeswhenIfeelmyselfcomeoverhisfingersandhistongue.“That’sit,”hesays,movinghisfingersevenfasterasIrideouttheorgasm.AndjustwhenIthinkthatI’mattheendofit,hebitesdownonmyclitandpressesonmyG-spot,makingmecomeagain.Ipullhishairandpushhimintomypussy.“That’sit,”hesays,lickingme.“Ithinkyouhaveonemoreinyou.”ImovemyheadfromsidetosideinslowmotionasIcomedownfromwhathastobethebestorgasmofmylife.“Yes,youdo,”hesaystome.“Icanfeelitinyou.”
“No,”Irefute,myhandfallingfromhishead,andhechuckles.
“Yourmouthsaysno.”Hemoveshisfingersinandoutofme,turningthem.“Butyourpussy.”Hesucksmyclitintohismouth.“Yourpussyisbeggingmetolethercomeagain.”
“Ace,”Iwarn,mystomachgettingtighterashetalksdirtytome.“No,”Isay,butmylegsopenwiderforhim.“Ican’t.”
“Yes,youcan.Icanfeelyourpussygettingtighter,”hesays.“Watch.”MyeyesgotothemiddleofmylegsasIwatchhisfingersfuckme.
“I’veneverwatchedbefore,”Isay,myeyesnevermovingfromhisfingers.
“Youlikeit,don’tyou?”Idon’tknowifhe’saskingmeortellingme.“Yourpussyisgettingevenwettersinceyoustartedwatchingme.”Hebringshisotherhandup,lickinghisthumbandthenrubbingmyclitincircles.“After,you’regoingtowatchmycockfuckyou,”hestates.“Overandoveragain.”Mylegsstarttoshake,andIcanfeelthebuild-upagain.
“Idon’tbelievethis,”IsayrightbeforeIcomeonhisfingersforthethirdtimeinarow.Itrytoclosemylegstogethimtostopmoving,buthedoesn’t.Hegoesonuntilmybodyislimplikeanovercookednoodle.Hekissesmyinnerthigh.“Areyouasexgod?”ThewordscomeoutofmymouthbeforeIcanstopthem.“Like,didyoutakelessonsandgotoaspecialschool?”
Hemovesovermenow.“Youmakemelosemymind,”heconfesses,andIjustrollmyeyes.“Shelby.”Ilookathim.“I’veneverwantedanyonethewayIwantyou.”Myhandcomesouttotouchhisstomachashebendsandkissesme.HistongueslidesintomymouthasItastemyselfonhim.“Anyone.”
Iknowthatwewillhavetohaveaconversationlater.Iknowthattherearethingsweneedtospeakabout.Iknowallthis,butmybodyisn’tlisteningtomyhead.“Whyareyouwearingsomanyclothes?”IaskhimwhenIletgoofhislips.Myhandgoestothehemofhisshirt.“Weneedtostarttakingofflayers,”Itellhim.“SoIcantouchtheplacesI’vewantedtotouch.”
Hemovesawayfromme,takinghisshirtoff.“Whereexactlydoyouwanttotouchme?”heaskswithasmirk,andallIcandoissitup.
“Thisisdonebetterifyouarestandingup.”Ismirkathim,andhestandsupinfrontofme.“See,muchbetter.”Iputmyhandsonhiships.“Exceptwithyourshorts,Isawalittlebitmore.”Myhandsgotothebuttonofhisshorts”Isawalittlebitmore.”Iunziphisshorts,andtheyfalltohisankles.Iseethewetspotonhisboxers.“IguessIwasn’ttheonlyonewet.”Iwinkathim,andallhecandoislookatme.
“IthoughtIwasgoingtofull-blowncomeinmypants,”hedisclosestome,andthenhelooksdownatmewhenIputmyhandsonhiships.“Areyougoingtotellmewhereyouthoughtabouttouchingme?”heaskswithasmileonhisface,andIswearallIcandoissmileathim.“Youknowwhat?”Heshakeshishead.“Betterifyoujustshowme.”
Iputmyheadbackandlaugh.“Well,I’mgoingtoletyouknow,”Istarttotellhim,ignoringthewaymyneckgetsheated.“I’mnotgoodatthis.”Iavoidhiseyesnow.“Sothereisthat.”
“Thefuck?”Hestepsoutofmyreach,andIlookupathim.“Whattheactualfuck,Shelby?”Itiltmyheadtotheside,notsure.“Whythehellwouldyousaythat?”
Itakeadeepinhale.“I’vebeentold,”Isay,ignoringthewaymylegstartstobouncenervously.“ThatI’mnotthebestatthat.”
Heholdsuphishand,stoppingmefromspeaking.I’mwaitingforhimtogivemeapitylook,butinstead,hiseyesjustlightenup.“Ithinkit’sbetterifyoushowme.”Hestepsintomyreachagain.“Soyouweregoingtoshowmewhereyouwantedtotouchme.”
“Well,Iwantedtolickyouallover,but..”Imovehisboxersdownjustatouch,showingmethatsidemuscleI’vethoughtaboutbitingforthelasttwodays.“This,”Isay,nippingatthesidemuscle.“Thisrightherewasit.”Imovetotheotherside.“ButtherewasalsoanotherpartofyouIthoughtabout.”
“Isthatso?”Helooksdownatmewithhishandbehindhimasifhe’sofferinghimselftomeonaplatter.
Myhandsmovehisboxersoverthetipofhiscock,andIhavetostopmidwayasIcomeface-to-facewithhiscock.“ThisisthenicestpenisI’veeverseeninallmylife.”Mymouthsaysthewords,anditdoesn’tevenstopthere.No,itcontinuesonitsdestructivepathofembarrassingmyself.“That’sfromexperienceandalsofrompornmovies.”
“Um,one,thankyou,Ithink,”hesays.”Andtwo,later,afterI’vehadyouacoupleofrounds,youandIaregoingtowatchamovietogether,”hesays,andIjustlookathim.
“Isthatafact?”Iaskhim,alreadyanticipatingit.“Willitbeaplay-by-play?”
“Youbetyourassitwill,”heconfirms,andIgriphiscockinmyhandandlickthetip.Hisjawgoestight.
“Canyoudomeafavor?”IaskasIswallowthetipofhiscockandtastehisprecum.IlookupathimasIswallowabitmoreofhiscock.“Willyoudomeafavor?”
Heblinkshiseyesacoupleoftimes.“I’msorry,withyourhandonmycockandmycockinyourmouth,Idon’tevenknowwhatwordsI’mspeakingrightnow.”
Idon’tknowwhythatsentencegivesmethecourage.“IneedyoutotellmewhatI’mdoingwrong.”ImovemyhandupasItakemoreofhiscockintomymouth.“Canyoudothat?”IlookupathimasIswirlmytonguearoundtheheadofhiscock.“Ijustdon’tknowhowbaditis.”IsuckhimasfarbackasIcantakehim,movingmyhandatthesametimeasmymouth.“Imean,it’snotlikeIdon’tlikeit.”Itrytotakehimabitdeeper,butI’veneverhadanyonesobigandsowide.“Ilovedoingit,”Isayasmyhandmovesupanddownhisshaft.“It’ssexyand..”Itakehiminmymouth.“Makesmewet.”
“Shelby,”hesaysmynamewithhisjawclenched.“FortheloveofGod.”Heholdsmyheadinhishandsashefucksmymouth.“I’mgoingtocomedownyourthroatintwomoreseconds.”
Myhandpicksupspeed,movingoverhisshaftallthewaytothetop,andthenIliftmymouthoffhim.“Yes,”Isay,takinghimbackintomymouthandmovingmyhanduptoplaywithhisballs.“Comedownmythroat,”Iurgehim,lookingupathim.“Watchme.”Islurpoffhiscock.“Watchmeswallowyourcum,”Itellhim,andhegroansoutmyname.
“Shelby.”HethrustshishipsasIswalloweverylastdropdown.Hishipsstopthrustingintomeashelooksdownatme.
Ireleasehiscock,expectingittogosoft,butitdoesn’t,somyhandjustkeepsjerkingit.“Thatwas..”hesays,tryingtofindthewords,andIdon’twanthimtolietome.
“Itwasokay,right?”Iask,leaningforwardandtakinghiscockagain.
“Itwasmorethanallright,”heassuresme,andIstopmoving.
“Youdon’thavetolietome,Ace.”HereachesdownandpicksmeupandallIcandoisyelp.
“Trustme,Shelby,”hesays,lookingintomyeyes.“Iwillnevereverlietoyou.”Hekissesmylips.“NowIwantyouonthebed,”herubshisnosewithmine,“spreadforme.”
“Um,doyouneedalittlebitoftimeto..”Icockmyheadtotheside.“Recover.”Ilookdownathisstill-hardcock,amazed.“Icanstartwithoutyoutogetthingsgoing.”
“Idon’tthinkyouunderstoodthewordsIsaidbefore,”hesays.“I’vebeendreamingaboutthismomentforalong,longtime.”Chapter21
Ace
Ilookdownatherwithmyshortsaroundmylegs,andmycockisstillhardasafuckingrock.“Idon’tthinkyouunderstoodthewordsIsaidbefore,”Itellherasshestandsthereinfrontofme,hereyesthelightestI’veeverseen.“I’vebeendreamingaboutthismomentforalong,longtime.”Ikissherlips.“Ishouldn’tadmitthiswithoutitbeingabitcreepy.”Ithinkaboutnottellingher,butit’sShelby.“Youmayormaynothavestarredinacoupleofmydreams.”
Thesmilethatfillsherfaceiseverything.“Let’shopeIliveuptothehype.”Sheturnsandstartstowalktothebedroom.“Oh,mightaswelljusttaketheseoff.”Sheputsherhandsinthestringsbyhersides,pushingthemdownoverherhipsandbendingdowninfrontofme,herpussyglisteninginthesoftlight.Shestandsupandlooksoverhershoulder.“Youcoming?”sheasksoverhershoulderbeforeshewalksintothebedroom.
Ishakemyheadandstepoutofmyshortsandwalktoher.Everythinginmewantstotouchher.“Oh,I’mgoingtocomeallright,”ImumbleasIwalktoher,stoppingbytheclosetandgrabbingaboxofcondoms.Ilookoveratthebed,andshe’sinthemiddleofthefour-posterbed,herfeetflatonthebedwithherkneesupasshewaitsforme.Herheadisproppedupbytwopillows.“NowthereisasightIcouldnevertireof,”Isay,tossingtheboxofcondomsbesideher.
Shegetsuponherelbows,hereyesshiningbright,asshesmilesatme.“Whattookyousolong?”sheasks,andIlaugh,crawlingonthebedinthemiddleofherlegs.
“Istoppedforprovisions.”Ilookoverattheboxofcondoms.
“Oh,goodcall.”Shesitsupinfrontofme.“Whydon’tyougetthecondomready,andIcan..”Shegripsmycockwithherhand.“Keepmymouthbusy.”Iwatchhermouthswallowthetipofmycock,andIdon’tmove.Fromthewayshesucksmycock,IknowsheenjoysitjustasmuchasIdo.
“Youkeepthatup,”Ihiss,grabbingacondom,“andI’mgoingtofuckyourfaceagain.”
Allshedoesismoan,andthevibrationfillsmywholebody.“Okay,Ineedtogetinyou,”Isayfinally,andsheletsgoofmycockwithonelastsuck,thenleansbackonthebed,spreadingherlegswideforme.SheissowetthatIcan’thelpbendingdownandtakingonelickbeforeputtingthecondomon.“Iknowyouwantithard,”Istate,rubbingmycockupanddownherslit.“AndIwanttogiveittoyouhard.”Ilookdownatmycockasitalignsatherentrance.“I’mgoingtogiveittoyouhard.”Isliptheheadofmycockintoherwithamoan.Ipushherkneesbackatthesametimemycockslowlyslidesintoher.“ButIwanttotakemytimewithyou.”Myeyeslookbackatherandseeherwatchingmycock.
“Okay.”Shemovesherhipsup,makingmycockgodeeperintoher,andIslideinuntilmyballshitherass.“Yes,”shehisses.
Shewrapsherhandsaroundherankles,pullingherlegsbacktoherhead,andIleandownandtakehermouthwithmine.MytongueslidesintohermouthasIthrustinandoutofher.Ourtonguesrollasslowasmycockthrustsintoher.Sheletsgoofmylipstomoan.“Ace,”shepantsoutmynameasIfallforwardandputmyelbowsbyherhead.IfuckherasslowasIcan,ourlipshoveringovereachother.“Sofull,”shesays,andIknowwhatshe’ssaying.She’ssofuckingtight,andwitheachthrust,shegetstighter,andmyballsarestartingtotighten.“I’mgoingto—”
“Iknow,baby.”Shecloseshereyesandarchesherbackandmoans,comingallovermycock.“I’mrightbehindyou.”Mythrustsgetshorterandharder,andassoonassheisdone,Iletgoandfillthecondom.“Shelby.”Iburymyfaceinherneck,andallshedoesiswrapherselfaroundme.
“Whatisthatsound?”Shelbymumblesfrombesideme.“Isthatknocking?”Ifeelhersinkintomecloser.
Thesoundofknockingmakesmeopenmyeyes.“Itisknocking,”Iconfirm,squintingatthesunlightthatiscomingintotheroom.I’monmybackinthemiddleofthebed,Shelbyislyingonmyshoulderwithherlegthrownovermine.Thewhitesheetistangledbyourfeet.”Whattimeisit?”Iask,butshedoesn’tmovetocheck.Ilookovertoseethatit’salmostnoon.Ifeellikewejustwenttobed,andweactuallydid.Wespentthewholenightnakedgoingfromroomtoroomhavingsex.Thelastroundwasoutsideonthedaybedrightwhenthesunwascomingup.
Theknocksoundsagain.“Makethemgoaway,”Shelbysays.“Ace,”shemoansmyname,andmycockrisestotheoccasion.
“Youhavetogetoffme,”Itellher,andsheslowlypeelshernakedbodyfromme,turningonherback.Igetoutofthebedastheknockcomesagain.“Thisfuckingplaceisgettingsuchaheatedreviewfromme,”ImumbleandlookbackwhenIhearherlaughing.“I’mnotevenkidding.Theemailisgoingtogointodetailaboutthenumberoftimeswewereinterrupted.”Ilookaroundtograbatowelorsomethingandseethetrailoftowelsthatweusedfromthepooltothebed.Wedidn’tgettoofar.Onceshebentover,itwasgameover.
“Thereisarobeinthebathroombehindthedoor,”shemumblesasshegrabsthewhitesheetandcoversherselfwithit.“Andcanyouorderfood?”
“Weatetwohoursago.”Iwinkather.
“Butwehadsexforeighthours.”Shestretchesherhandsoverherhead.“Ineedprotein.”Shelooksatme.“Youneedprotein.”
Ilaugh,goingtothebathroomandgrabbingtherobe,andthengoingtothedoor.Pullingitopen,Iseeawomanstandingthereinthehoteluniform.“Goodafternoon.”
“Hi,”Isay,notsurewhatisgoingonwhenIseesomethingoverhershoulder.
“I’mhereforthecouplesmassage,”shesays,andmyfeetmovetomakemegetoutofthewayasshewalksin.
“Um,”istheonlythingIsay.
“Iwillsetuphere,andthenIwillcallyouin.”SheputsdownwhatIseeisafoldingtable.“Ineedtenminutes.”
Idon’tknowwhattosay,soIwalkintothebedroom,closingthedoorbehindme.“Whoisit?”Shelbyasks.
“It’sthecouplesmassage,”Iwhisper.“She’ssettingup.”
“Icouldgoforamassage,”shediscloses,gettingonherelbowandthesheetfallingoffher.Herpebblednippletauntsme.Iwalktothebed,sittingdowninfrontofherandbendingtosuckinhernipple.
“Wehavetenminutes.”Itwirlmytonguearoundhernipple,andshemoansbutpushesmeaway.
“Wearenothavingsexwithsomeoneintheroom,”shehissesandscootsoutofmyway.
“Iwasn’tgoingtohavesexwithyou.”Ifallonmybackonthebedasshegetsupandwalksovertotheclosetnaked”Iwasgoingtosnack.”
Shelooksoverhershoulder,andfuckifIdon’twanttogetinsideheragain”Youliketheview?”
“I’dlikeitabitmoreifyoubentoverabit.”Shethrowsherheadbackandlaughsasshegrabsarobehanginginthecloset.Shecomestomeandkissesmylipssoftlybeforewalkingtothebathroom.
“Isitagirloraguy?”sheasks,stickingherheadoutofthebathroom.
“Girl,”Isay.
“Good,goputboxerson,”shetellsme,andIsmirkather.
“Isthatso?”Ijokewithher,andshecomesoutandlooksatme.
“Iwasthinkingofgoingtoplessonthebeach,”shesays.
Iglareather.“Enoughsaid.”Grabbingapairofboxers,Iputthemon.
“Areweready?”theladyasks,andwewalktothedoorwithShelbyinfrontofmeassheopensthedoor.
Thelightsareoff,buttherearecandlesliteverywhere,givingyouabeautifulglow.Rosepetalsarescatteredallaroundtheonetableintheroom.“Whereistheotherbed?”IaskbeforeShelbydoes,andthegirllaughsatme.
“Oh,it’snotthattypeofmassage,”shesays,lookingatmeandthenatShelby.“I’mgoingtobeteachingyouhowtomassageeachother.”Shefoldsherhandstogether.“Pleasegetonthetable.”
Mymouthhangsopen,andIlookdownatShelby,whojusttiltsherheadtotheside.“Youfirst.”Chapter22
Shelby
“Oh,it’snotthattypeofmassage,”thewomanwithlightblondhairsayswithasmileonherface.ShelooksatAce.“I’mgoingtobeteachingyouhowtomassageeachother.”Shefoldsherhandstogether.“Pleasegetonthetable.”Shepointsatthetable,andIthinkmyeyesaregoingtopopoutofmyhead.
IlookoveratAce,whostandstherewithhismouthhangingopen,andIhavetorollmylipswhenhelooksdownatmefromtheshockonhisface.Itiltmyheadtotheside.“Youfirst.”Ipushhimtowardtheblacktableinthemiddleoftheroom.
“Um,”hestartstosay.“Idon’tknowifwesignedupforthisexactmassage.”Helooksatme.“Whatdidyousignupfor?”
“Idon’tknowwhatitwascalled.”Ishrug.“Ijustsawmassageandclickedyes.”
“It’sgoingtobefine,”theladysays.”Ifyouwouldundressandgetunderthesheet.”
Aceissooutofhiscomfortzone,allIcandoisgiggleandthenputmyheaddown.“Okay,fine,”hesays,andIlookup,seeinghimstarttountietherobe.Myheartspeedsupinmychestandrisestomythroat.
“Youcanturnaround.”Ilookoveratthegirl,andmyvoicecomesouttight.Shesmilesandturnsaroundtofacethedoor.IlookatAce,whojustsmirksatme,andIrollmyeyes.“I’mdoingitforyou.”Ifoldmyarmsovermychest,andallhecandoisleandownandkissmylipsgently,makingmybodywakeupforhim.
Heshrugstherobeoffhisshoulders,andhestandsthereinhiswhiteboxerswithhiscockperfectlyoutlined.“Likewhatyousee?”hesays,andIsnapoutofmydazeandlookupathim.
“Getonthetable,”Isay.Hewalksoverandslidesunderthewhitesheet,turningaroundonhisstomach.
“Okay,”Ireply,andthegirlturnsaroundtolookathimonthetableandthenatme.
“Youcantakeoffyourrobesoyoucanmovebetter,”shetellsme,andIturnaround,walkingtowardmydiscardeddressthatIwaswearinglastnightwhenItookitoff.Isliptherobeoffandthenslipthedresson.“Better.”
Inodatherandwalktoherside.“Okay,thefirstthingwearegoingtodoisturnonsomesensualmusic.”Sheturnsonthemusic,smilingatme.“Followme,”shesays,andIwalkovertotheheadofthetable,lookingdownathishead.“Nowyouputbothhands,palmsdown,onhisshoulderblades.”Sheshowsmethewaywithherhandsintheair.IputmyhandsonAce’sback.“Andpressdowngentlyabit,onehandatatime.”IdoasI’mtold.“Now,walkyourhandsdownalonghisspine.”Ilookdownatmyhands,pickingoneupandmovingitdownatouch.“Untilyouareatthebaseofhisback.Thatisverygood,”shesaysonceIgettothebaseofhisback.
“Nowopenyourhand,”sheinstructs,andIdo,andshesquirtssomewarmoilinmyhand.“Rubyourhandstogether,andgentlyrepeatthestepsfrombeforebutgoingslower.”IrepeatwhatIjustdid.“Now,thistime,whenyougettothebaseofhisback,smoothouttothesideofhimandwithyourfingertipstraceitbackup.”Idowhatshesays,andIcanfeelhimshiverundermytouch.“Onceyougetup,workdownhisshouldersandcomebacktohishead.”Ifocusmyattentiononhishair,verydifferentthanitwasacoupleofhoursagowhenIpulledatitwhilehismouthwasburiedbetweenmylegs.“Nowrepeatitthreetimes.”Idoasshesays,andthenwhenit’stheendofthethirdtime,shesmiles.“Nowcometotherightsideofhim.”Iwalk,andsheputsmoreoilinmyhand.“Thistime,youaregoingtocuphiship.”Sheputsherhandonmineasshecupshiship.“Now,whenyouslipyourhandunder,putpressureonyourfingertips.”Shegivesmeinstructions,andIdon’tknowaboutAce,butI’msoreadyforhimtofuckme.Touchinghimlikethisandthemusic,allIwanttodoisjumponthetableandridehiscock.
“Okay,ifyoucanturnover,”shesays,andAceliftshisheadandlooksbackatus.
“Iwouldrathernotrightnow,”hesays,andthenIlookathimconfused.
“Weneedyoutoturnoversowecanworkonyourfront,”shetellshim,waitingforhimtoturnover.
“Idon’tneedthefrontdone,”heassuresher.“I’mgoodwithjusttheback.”
“OhmyGod,”Iscoff.“It’snotthatbigofadeal.Justturnover,Ace.”Helooksatme,andIknowhe’stryingtotellmesomething,butforsomereason,Ihavenoideawhathe’stryingtosay.“Justturnover.”
“Fine,butdon’tsayIdidn’twarnyou.”Heturnsonthetable,thewhitesheetshiftingabit,andwhenheliesonhisback,Ilookdowntoseehiscockisawake.Thereisnomistakingthathe’sashardasarock.
“Ohmy,”Isay.
“Areyouhappynow?”heasksthroughclenchedteeth.
Ilaugh.“Notashappyasyouare,apparently.”Ipointathiscock.
“It’satotallynormalthing,”thegirlstartstosay.“Yourloveristouchingyouwithherhands.”
“Makeherstop,”hemumblestome,andIputmyhandinfrontofmymouth.
“It’sfine,”Itellhimandthenturntolookatthewomanwhoinstructsmeonwhattodo.IwalkbackuptotheheadofthetableShetellsmetoleanoverhimandrubtheupperpartofhischest,andwhenIdothat,Icanfeelhishotbreathonmynipple,andIcanswearhetriestoleanoutandlickit.
Idon’tevenknowwhatsheistellingmetowardtheendofthemassage.Mywholebodyisonetensenerve,andmypussyiswetandachingforhim.“Nowit’syourturn.”Shelooksatme,andIwanttoweep.
Aceswingshislegsoffthetableandholdsthesheetoverhiscock,andIdon’tknowhowheisdoing.Hewashardthewholetimewhilehekepthiseyesonme.Itakeoffthedressandslipontothetablehewasjustonandassumethesamepositionhedidatthebeginning.
HeputshishandsonmybackandslowlymovesthemdowntothebaseofmybackHeslipshisfingertipsunderthesheetHerepeatsitthreetimes,andwhenhecupsmyhips,Iwanttoliftabittogethimtotouchme.Fuck,atthispoint,Iwanthimtotouchme.Everysingletimewithhimwasbetterthantheonebefore,andthatwashardtodosinceitskyrocketedeachtime.I’veheardaboutsexthatisoutofthisworld,andI’vetriedtothinkaboutifI’veeverhadit.ThatwasmyfirstcluethatI’veneverhadit.Ifyouhavetothinkaboutit,itdidn’thappen.Thesheetmovesupmylegs.Herubshishanduponeleg,startingattheankle,andcomesallthewayup,grazingmypussywithhisfingers.Ialmostmoan,butIknowthatthegirlisstandingnexttohim,soinstead,Ibitemylipandclosemyeyestight.Hedoestheotherleg,andthistimemylegsopenjustatouchmoreforhim.It’sonthethirdtimewhenhisfingertipslipsinme.“Isthepressureokay?”heaskswhenhefeelsmeshiver.“Icangolighter.”Heusesbothhandsoneachleg,andwhenhegetsuptomyass,hepushesup,andthesheetfallsonthefloor,leavingmenaked.“It’sfine,”hesayswhenhefeelsmestartingtogetup.“I’llgetitwhenyouturnover.”I’mafraidtosayanythingbecauseit’seithergoingtocomeoutinapantorit’sgoingtocomeoutinamoan.Hisfingertipsgoupanddownmyleg,andeverysingletimehegetsclosertomypussy,Istarttoshake.Onetime,Ialmostliftmyhipsforhimtoslipafingerinme.
“Ace,”Isay,anditcomesoutshaky.“IthinkI’mgood.”
“Whydoyousaythat?”heasksasherubshishanduptheinnerpartofmyleg.Mybreathingstartstocomeoutinpants.Ican’tanswerhimbecausehisfingerslipsinmeforasecondandthenslipsbackout.“Doyoutrustme?”
“Yes,”Isaywithouthesitation.
“Okay,Iwantyoutoturnaroundbutkeepyoureyesclosed,”hesays,andIwanttojustgetupoffthetable,tellthegirltogetout,andbeghimtofuckmybrainsout.“Canyoudothatforme?”
“WhatdoIgetinreturn?”Iaskhim,andheleansdownbesidemyhead.
“I’llspendmostofthedaymakingyoucome,”hewhispers,andI’mnotabouttosaynotothat.
“Fine,”Ihufflikeit’snotgoingtobethebesttimeever.
“Nopeeking,”hewarnsasIturnover,notevencaringthatI’mlyingnakedonamassagetableinfrontofawomanIjustmet.Imean,it’sahoneymoonresort.I’msureshe’sseenworse.
“NowIknowthisisgoingtobehardforyou.”Heknowsthatifitwasanyoneelse,Iwouldhaveopenedmyeyesalready,butIknowthatwithhim,I’msafe.“Theysaywhenyoucloseyoureyes,yourothersensesstarttoworkextra.”Hisvoiceissoft,andsomethingwarmisbeingpoureddownthecenterofmybody.“It’soil,”hetellsmewithoutmeaskinghim.Hestopspouringtheoilrightbeforemypubicarea.Goingrightaboveandthenrubbingallthewayuptomychest.Herubshishandsdownmyarmsbeforehecomesbackuptomyshouldersandrubsmytits.Myeyesremainshutashemassagestheoilintothem.Mynipplesachetobepinched.Hemoveshishandsdown,mynipplesgettingpinchedbyhimclosinghisfingersthreetimes.
Ican’thelpbutmoan.“Ace.”
“It’sokay,”hesayssoftly,movinghishanddownthemiddleofmychest.MyheartisbeatingsofastI’msurehe’sgoingtofeelit.I’mhopingthathejustkeepsgoingdownthemiddle,buthishandsgotothesideofmyhipsandtomygroinandsqueezecomingup.Mypussylipsarepushedtogether.Herepeatsittwice,andthenwhenhecomesbacktotheside,hemovesmypussyfromrighttoleft.Mylegsopenatouch,hopinghecanseeAllIcandoisfeelhisfingersonme,andmybreathingiserratic.Iopenmymouth,lettingalittlemoancomeoutashegetscloserandclosertomyclit.Thenithappens.Heslideshishandsdownthefrontofmypussy,hisoiledfingerslippingbetweenmylipsandintome.Butonlyforasecondbeforeheremovesit.Hecomesbackagainasecondlater,slippinghisfingerbackinme.
“More,”Ihuffwithoutopeningmyeyesandwonderingifthiswomaniswatchingmegetfingeredbyhim.“Ace?”
“It’sjustyouandme,”hesaysinawhisper,andIwishIcouldaskhimallthequestions,butmywholebodyistense.I’veneverbeenthisturnedoninmylife,ever.Thistimewhenheslipshisfingerintome,hemovesitinandoutquicklyfivetimes.“Don’tmoveyourlegs,”hesaysrightbeforeI’mabouttoopenthemwidetogivehimmoreaccess.Hemoveshisfingeroutofmeandthencomesback,fingeringmeagain.Hemoveshishandsoffofme,andIgroanforasecondbeforeIfeelthewarmoilpourdownmystomachandrightdownthecenterofmypussy.Herubstheoilintome,movingfromontopofmyheadtothesideofme,makinghiswaydowntomyfeet.Herubshishandsupmylegswithhisfingertipsuntilhegetstomypussywhereheuseshisthumbtorubovermyclittwice.
“Idon’tthinkIcan.”Wordsareatalossformewhenhisthumbmovesovermyclitinacircle,myhandgrippingthewhitesheetonthetable.Hemoveshisthumbfasterandfaster,andIfinallygiveup,openingmyeyesandlookingupathim.Hisblueeyesshinebrightasheplayswithme.Igetonmyelbows,myeyesneverleavinghisasheslideshisthumbintome,andIpant,needingrelease.“More,”Itellhim,andthenIclosemylegs,stoppinghimfrommoving.“Comehere.”
“Iwanttodothisjustforyou.”Hisfingerslipsoutofmeandgoestomyclit,thenheslidestwofingersinme.“Youaresowetforme.”
“Yes.”Iclosemyeyesandtakeinhisfingers”Ace.”Isayhisnameandhelooksatme.“Iwanttosuckyourcockwhileyoumassageme.”Ihaveneverbeenthisopenaboutsex.Hewalkstothesideofme,andIseehiscockwaitingforme.Hepullsdownhisboxers,andIgriptheshaftbringingittomymouth.Hishandgoesbacktoteasingme,slippingintomeforasecondandthencomingout.“Whyareyouteasingme?”Iask,lettinggoofhiscockforasecondbeforetakinghimbackdownmythroat.Heslideshisfingersintomeandthenpullsawayfromme.“Comeback,”Isaywhenhewalksintothebedroom.
Hewalksbacktomenow,rollingacondomdownonhiscock.“Iwantyoutostand,”hesays.“Putakneeonthetableandbendover.”Idon’tevenhavetobeaskedtwice.TheonlythingIhopeisthatmylegsarestrongenoughtoholdmeup.Theminutemyleggoesup,hefillsmeinonethrust.“Sofuckingtight.”Hepullsoutandslamsintomeagain,andIcomejustlikethatalloverhiscock.HisthrustsareshortandharduntilI’mdone,andthenhepullsoutagaintothetipofhiscockbeforeslammingintomeoverandoveragain.
“Yes!”Iholdontothetableashefucksmeharderthanhe’severfuckedmebefore.Heholdsmyhipswhileheslamsintomeoverandoveragain.Itdoesn’ttakelongbeforeI’mrightbackgoingoverthatcliff.“I’mthere.”
“Me,too,”hesays,andwhenIcomethistime,hegripsmeeventighterbythehipsandmoansoutmyname.
Andit’smusictomyears.Chapter23
Ace
Iclosemyeyesandtrytocatchmybreath,lookingdownatherbackasshecollapsesonthemassagetable.“I..”
“Yeah,”Isay,laughingasIfallontopofher,andIneedaminute.“Thatwas.”Ikisshershoulder.“Thatwas.”
“Ineedashower,”shesays.“Withallthisoilonme,Ifeellikeawrestler.”Shelaughs,andIslideoutofherbutimmediatelywanttobebackinsideher.Shestandsup,andIputmyhandsonherfaceforakiss.Hertongueslidesintomymouthasshepressesherfronttome.Mycockthatwasstartingtogodownisupandreadyforanotherround.“Thereisnowaywecanshowertogether.”
“You’reright,”Iadmit.“Whydon’tyougoshower,andthenI’llgoafteryou.”
“Okay.”Sheslipsherhandinmine.“ButifIneedyoutowashmyback,shouldIcallyou?”
“Shelby,”Igroan.Sheletsgoofmyhandandwalkstothebathroom,andIfollowher.Igetridofthecondomatthesametimeshestepsintotheshower.Iwalkoutoftheroom,goingtothephoneandpickingitup,pressingzero.
Robertoanswersrightaway.“Hello,Mr.Ace.”
“Hi,isitpossibletogetsomelunchsetupforusoutsideonthedeck?”Iask,lookingaroundtheroom.“Andforsomeonetocomeandclearoutthemassagetable.”
“Noproblem.It’llbedoneinfifteenminutes,”hesays,andIlookbackatthebathroomdoor.
“Wewillbeinthebath,soyoucancomein,”Isayandhangupthephone.Iwalkovertotheclosetandgrabapairofshortsformeandwhatlookslikeaone-piecedressforher.
Iwalkbackintothebathroom,seeingherwithherheadbackasthewatercascadesaroundher.She’sfuckingstunning.“Ijustorderedlunch,”Itellher,andshelooksoveratme.“Ibroughtyouadress.”Iwalkoverandpullopentheshowerdoor.
“Youcan’tcomeinhere.”Sheshakesherhead,andIlaugh.“It’lljustendupwithushavingsex.”
IignorewhatshesaysasIstepintotheshower,wrappingmyhandsaroundherfromtheback,myhandsgoingtocuphertits.“What’swrongwiththat?”
“Ace,”shemoansmyname,andIbendtokissherneck,lettinghergo.
“I’mlettingyougobecausetheyarecomingtoclearoutthetableandshit,andthelastthingIwantthemtodoishearyoumoan,”Itellher,andshelaughs.
“I’mnotgoingtolie.Whenyoustartedgivingmethemassage,Iwasabouttocrawloutofmyskin.”Sheshakesherhead.“Whendidtheladyleave?”
“Assoonasyougotonthetable,”Iinformher,andhermouthhangsopen.
“Ididn’thearyoutellheranything,”shetellsme,andIlaugh.
“Itwastheuniversalmotionwithmychintogetthefuckoutofhere.”IshowherwhatIdid,andshethrowsherheadbackandlaughs.“Shejustsmirkedatmeandnoddedherhead,thenwalkedoutwithoutmakingasound.Ithoughtforsureyouheardherwhensheclosedthedoorbehindher.Butyoujuststayedwithyourheaddown.”Ishakemyhead.
“Itwasfuckingtorture,”shesays.“Ialmostopenedmylegsandgotonmyhandsandknees.”
“IsweartoGod,mycockwasgoingtoexplode,andthelastthingIwantedwasforhertolookdownandseemeclosingmyeyesandtryingtocounttoten.”Ishakemyhead.
Shegetsoutbeforeme,andIfinishwashingmyselfwhileshedriesherhair.Sheputsonthepinkdress,andIstopdryingmyself.Thebackhangslowuntilherasscrack,butit’smorethanthatIcanseeherass.“It’ssee-through,”Itellher,andsheturnsaround,andIseethefronthangslow,andIseeherperknipples.
“It’snotsee-through.”Shelooksdownatherself.“It’slikeanillusion.”
“Isthatwhatwearecallingsee-throughthesedays?”Idropmytowelandslideintomyshorts.
Sheshakesherheadandwalksoutofthebathroomdoorseeingeverythinggone.Theonlythingthatisstilltherearetherosepetals.Wewalktothebackofthedeckandfindatablesetuprightunderanumbrella.“I’mstarving,”shesays,slippingherhandinmineaswewalkoutoftheroomtowardthetable.Robertoisrighttherepushingacartoffoodtowardthetable.“Rightontime.”ShesmilesasIpulloutachairforhertositdown.Shegrabsthemimosaandfinishesit.“I’mparched.”Shewinksatme.“Afterthatworkout.”
IshakemyheadasRobertoputsfruitonthetable,followedbyburgers,chicken,somegrilledfish,andveggies.“I’llbebackwithdessert,”hesaystous,walkingawaywhileShelbygrabsthebottleofchampagnefromtheicebucketbesideherandpourssomemoreintoaglass,followedbyorangejuice.
“Weshouldtalk,”shesays,andIhavetosmirkatherasIgrababurgerandputitonherplate.Itwasonlyamatteroftimebeforeshewouldhavetotalkaboutit.Iknewitwascoming.
“Weshould.Alothashappenedinthelastcoupleofdays,”Isay,grabbingmyownburger.
“Alothashappened,”sheagrees,takingabiteofherburgerwhileIgrababottleofbeerfromacoolerbesideme.Itwistopenthetopandtakeapullofit.
“Whereshouldwestart?”Iaskher.“Iwouldliketostartattheobvious.”Shelooksatme.“Wehadsex.”
“Wedid,”sheconfirmsandreachesforanotherdrink.
“Andthatmakesyounervous?”Herhandstopsmidwaytohermouth,andshejustlooksatme.Ilaugh.
“Itdoesn’tmakemenervous.”Sheputstheglassdown.“Itmakesme..”Shetriestothinkoftheword.
“Itmakesyouuneasy,whichisthesamethingasnervous.”Itakeabiteofmyburger.
“Okay,fine,”sheadmitsfinally,andshelooksatme.HerblueeyesarelighterthanI’veeverseenbefore.Herfaceistannedjustatouchfromthelasttwodaysinthesun.Herhairisblowinginthewind;sheisjustperfect.“I’mnervousaboutit.”
“Whyareyounervous?”Iaskher,andsheleansbackinherchair,andmyeyesgotohernipplesthatarepointingoutofherdress.
ShelooksdownandseeswhatI’mstaringat,butshedoesn’tmove.Instead,shemeetsmyquestionwithherown.“Areyounotnervous?”
“No,”Iadmithonestly.“ButI’vethoughtabouthavingsexwithyoubefore.”Ibringthebeertomylips.“So”—Ishrug—”I’mnotnervous.”
“Thatdoesn’tmeanshit,”shesays,grabbingmybottleofbeerandtakingapullfromit.“Thinkingaboutitanddoingitaretwodifferentthings.”
“Yeah,you’rerightaboutthat.”Ilaugh.“Doingitwasamilliontimesbetterthanitwasinmyhead.”Shejustsmilesshylyandlooksdownatherplate.“Whyareyouhidingfromme?”
Shelooksupatme,andIcanseeshe’stryingtotellmesomething.“Howaboutwemakeitthatthisconversationisaone-timeconversation,andwhateverissaidduringthistimestayshere?”
Sheputsherelbowsonthetableandfoldsherhandstogether.“Thatworks,”shesays,andIwaitforhertosaywhatshehastosay.“Andifyoudon’tmind,I’dliketojustgetitallout,soifyouhaveanythingyouhavetosay,Iaskthatyouwaituntilafter.”Inodatherforhertogo,notsurewhatsheisgoingtosay.IdefinitelyknowthatIwasnotreadyforwhatshewasgoingtosay.“Ilikesex,”shesays,andIsmirkather.“Likealot,butIhaven’tbeenhavingsexalotbecause,well,apparentlyIwasn’ttheonlyonehavingsexwithhim.Hewasneverinthemood,andwell,youcanonlybeturneddownsomanytimesbeforeyoujuststopasking.”Mystomachburnsastheknotsstarttoformandthenangersetsin.“IwasalsonotopenwithhowmuchIwantedtohavesexnordidIaskforthings.IknowthatI’mnotthatgoodatsomethings.”
ThisiswhenI’vehadenoughofhertalkingandholdupmyhand.“Iknowyousaidnottointerruptyou,butI’mnotgoingtoletyousayshitthatisn’ttrue.”Ilookintohereyes.“One.”Iholdupafinger.“Whateveryouthinkyou’renotgoodat,I’mheretotellyouthatyou’reright.”Iseeherfacedrop.“You’renotgoodatit.You’reoutofthisfuckingworld.”
“You’rejustsayingthatsoIwillsuckyourdickagain.”Sherollshereyes.
“Okay,firstoff,youlovetosuckmydickjustasmuchasIloveyoutosuckit,sodon’teventrytotellmethatyoudoitjustforme.”Ilaugh,gettingup,walkingovertoherandholdingoutmyhandtoher.ShegrabsmyhandandIwalkusovertoacouchrightnearthetableintheshade.Isitdown,andwhensheisgoingtositnexttome,Istopherandpullheronmylap.“Shelby.”Isayhernameandcan’thelpbutleanforwardandkisshershoulder.“Ilikehavingsexwithyou.”Idon’tusethelovewordbecauseIknowitwillfreakherout.“Ireallylikeit.LikemorethanI’veeverlikeditinmylife.”Sexwithherhasbeenonanotherlevel.
“Ilikehavingsexwithyou,”shesays.”Idon’tknowifit’srightorwrong.”Sheturnsinmylapasshestraddlesmythighs.Myhandsgotoherlegsandrubthem.
“Idon’twanttostop,”Itellher,afraidshe’sgoingtowantsomethingelse,knowingthatifshesaysshewantstostop,it’sgoingtobethehardestthingformetodo.Beingnexttoherandnotbeingabletotouchher,especiallyafterlastnightandthismorning.
“Meeither,”sheagrees,hervoicesoft,andsheputsherforeheadonmine.
“Sohowaboutwhilewearehere,wejustenjoyit?”Ikissherlips.
Sheputsherhandsonmychest,andoneofthestrapsfromhershoulderfallsdown.“Sowhathappensontheislandstaysontheisland?”sheasks,andherstrapfallsoverhernipple.
Mythumbcomesuptorubhernipple.“Ononecondition,”Itellher,andshelooksatme,waiting.“Don’thidefromme.”Ileandownandtakethenippleintomymouth.“Youwantmetotouchyouacertainway,youtellme.”Inipathernipplenow.“Youwantmetodomore,youtellme.”
“Okay,”shealmostpants.“Butitgoesbothways.”
Ilookather.“Deal.”Ilookaround,seeingthatnooneisaround.“Iwantyoutorideme.”Ipushdowntheothersideofherstrap,takingtheothernippleinmymouth.
“God,”shesays.“Ithoughtyou’dneverask.”Shemovesherdressupandlooksatme.”Didyoubringacondom?”
“No,”Isay.“WhywouldIbringacondomwithme?Weweresupposedtobeeatinglunch.”Imovehertotheside.“Don’tmove,”Itellher,kissingherlipsandrushingtogrababoxofcondoms.Irushbackoverandgrabher,bringingherbackontomylap.“Now,wherewerewe?”Igrabherfaceinmine,andshesmilesrightbeforeItakeherlipsandslidemytongueintohermouth.
“Wearenevergoingtomakeitoutofhere,”shesaysfrominfrontofmeasshemovesherheadtogivememoreaccesstoherneck.
“It’snotmyfaultyoulookfuckingsexyeverysingletimeIlookoveratyou.”Ilookinthemirroratus.Thebothofusaretannedaftersixdaysoflounginginthesun.Thelastfourhavebeenusjustlounginginthepoolortheoceanrightoutsideourdoor.
“Wecan’tbelate,”shewarnsme,turninginmyarmsbutnevermovingfarawayfromme.“Onelastkiss,”shesays,lettingmytongueslideintohermouthasshewrapsherarmsaroundmyneck.Myhandsgriphercoveredassbeforelettinghergoandlookingdownatherdress.Thistime,it’sablackonethatplungesdowntoherstomach.It’stiedaroundherneck,andherbackisopen.Thedressfallstothefloor,butwhenshewalks,allyouseeisherlong,leanlegs.“You’regoingtoruinthisdress,too,aren’tyou?”Forthepastfournights,everysingleoutfitofhersI’vetornoffofher.
Ismirkather,grabbingherhand.“Ihaven’tdecidedyet,”Isay,walkingoutoftheroomanddowntowardthemainbeach.Wearehavingourlastdinneronthebeach,andbothofushavebeenunusuallyquietasourtimeontheislandiscomingtoanend.
“Idon’tthinkI’veseenyousodressed.”Shelooksoveratme.I’mwearingdarkgraydresspantswithalightgraybutton-downshirtwiththesleevesfoldeduptomyelbows.“I’mnotsureIlikeit.”
I’mabouttosaysomethingaboutwhenwegetbackhome,butRobertoistherewaitingforus.Heushersustotheprivatetableinthemiddleofthebeach.Wedon’ttalkthatmuchduringdinner.Wethrowacoupleofjokesoutthere,andshelaughsasshedrinkschampagne,andIknowit’sbecauseshe’stryingtothinkaboutwhatisgoingtohappen.Whenwefinishdinner,Ikickoffmyshoesandholdmyhandouttoher.“Let’swalkbacktothevillabythebeach,”Isuggest,andshekicksoffhershoes.IlookoveratRoberto,whonodsandcomesovertograbourshoes.Wewalkdownthebeach.“Whatareyouthinking?”Iaskasmyownnervesareinmystomach.
“It’sgoingtobeweirdtomorrow,”shesayssoftlyaswewalkslowlydownthebeach.
“Whyisthat?”Lookingoverather,Iwaitforhertogivemealittlesignthatshewantsmoreofthis.Thatshewillcontinuethiswhenwegethome.
“Well,forone,I’vewokenupthepastfourdayswithafacebetweenmylegs,”shesays,andIgasp.
“Youweretheonewhowokeupwithamouthfulthismorning,”Itellher,andshethrowsherheadback.
“It’snotmyfault,”shegaspsandstopswalking.“Hewinkedatme.”
Ibringhertomeandlaugh.“Hewinkedatyou,”Itease,andshelaughsandleansherfaceup.Iwanttomakeherlaughallthetime.Iwanttobetheonewhomakesherlaugh.Ilookdownather,takinghermouthandtellingher,“IthinkIseehimwinkingatyourightnow.”Chapter24
Shelby
“Yess,”Ihiss,holdingAce’sshouldersasIridehiscockashesitswithhisbackagainsttheheadboard.Bothhishandsrollmynipplesasheletsmedoallthework.“I’mrightthere.”
“Iknow,”hesaysasIpickupmyspeed,andhishandsgotomyhips.MytitsbounceupanddownasIpickupspeed.Heleansdownandgrazesmynipplewithhisteeth.Makingmemoanandmoveevenfaster.Iwantedtotakemytimethismorning,especiallysinceitwillprobablybethelasttimeI’mwithhim.Ithrowmyheadbackandfinallyletgowithhisnameonmylips.Hishandsgotomyhipsashethrustshishipsupandgruntsoutmyname.Icollapseonhischest,buryingmyfaceinhisneckaswebothtrytogetourbreathingundercontrol.“Wehavetogetup,”hesayssoftly,bendingtokissmybareshoulder.
Idon’tsayanythingtohimbecausethereisasuddenlumpinmythroat,andI’mafraidthatifIspeak,it’llcomeoutinasob.Wedidn’tsleepallnight,bothofusawareofourloomingdeadlinetowhateverwewantedtocallthis.Neitherofuswantedthenighttoend,bothofusnotreallyspeaking.“I’mgoingtoheadtotheshowerandfinishpackingwhenIgetout.”Inodmyhead,gettingoffhim.Isitonthebedwhilehewalksintothebathroom,myeyesonthetwobagsofluggageopenonthefloor.“It’llbefine,”Itellmyself,walkingtotheclosetandpackingtherestofmythings.
Onehourlater,I’mzippingupmyluggagewhentheknockonthedoorfillsthesilentroom.RobertocomesintograboursuitcasesasIstandnexttoAce.Itakeonemorelookaroundtheroombeforewalkingouttothewaitinggolfcart.Theridetotheairportisnotmuchmore.Isitinthebackofthecar,lookingoutmywindowwithhisarmaroundmyshoulders,histhumbrubbingmyarm,whilemyhandisdrapedonhisknee.
IsmilewhenIneedtosmileandonlytalkwhenheaskssomething.Whentheycallforustoboardtheplane,Igetup,grabbingmybagnexttome”Nextstophome,”Istate,andhegetsup,andIlookathim.He’swearinghisblueshortswithawhiteshort-sleeveT-shirt.Hiseyesarecrystalblue,justlikethewaterwespenttheweekin.
Wewalkoutsidetothetarmac,andmyhandslipsintohissoeasilyIdon’tevenrealizeI’mdoingit.Wewalkupthestainless-steelstairssidebyside,andtheflightattendantsmilesatuswhenwegettothedooroftheplane.Heletsmyhandgotoputitatthebaseofmybackashewaitsformetowalkinbeforehim.“Doyouwantthewindowseat?”Ilookovermyshoulderandaskhim,andheshakeshishead.
Iscootoverwhenwegettoourseats,tuckingmybagundertheseatinfrontofme.TheattendantcomesoverwhenAcetakeshisseatandasksuswhatwewouldliketodrink.Thebothofusanswerwaterandthenlaugh.Ileanoverandkisshimonthelips,anditisreallysinkinginthatIwon’tbeabletodothateitherwhenwegethome.Myheadistellingmethatit’sokaysinceIgottokisshimallweeklong.Wespentyesterdayafternoonintheoceaninfrontofthevilla.Withmylegswrappedaroundhiswaist,wekissedformostoftheafternoon.
Ilookoutoftheplaneasmynervesstartgettingthebestofme.Mylegmovesupanddown,andhereachesoverandgrabsmyhandinhis.Ilookoverintimetoseehimbringourjoinedhandstohislipswherehekissesmyfingers.“It’sgoingtobeokay.”Idon’tanswerhim.Instead,Ijustlookoutthewindowaspeoplestartfillingtheplane.Thecaptaincomesout,andIclosemyeyesandlaymyheadbackontheheadrestwhentheplanestartstomove.
“Shelby.”Iopenmyeyes,lookingoverathim.Heleansontothemiddlearmrest.“Whatwasyourfavoritepartofthisweek?”Hiseyesturnjustatouchdarker.
“Um.”Istarttothink.“Therearelotsoftimesactually.”Hishandcomesuptomycheekashisthumbrubsmylips.“Idon’tknowifIcanpinpointjustone,”Isay,ignoringthewaymyheartispoundinginmychest,alsoknowingthatithasnothingtodowiththeplanemovingbuteverythingtodowiththemannexttome.“Whataboutyou?”
“That’seasy,”hesays.“Youfindingoutthatitwasmewhokissedyoutwoyearsago.”
“Ace.”Isayhisname,andhecomesinandkissesmylips.Histongueslipsintomymouth,andjustlikeeveryothertime,it’sbetterthanIremembered.Icouldspendhoursjustkissinghim,andduringthiswholeweek,Ihave.Heletsgoofmylipsnow.“We’reintheair.”
Igaspandlookoutthewindowseeingthewhiteclouds.“Youkissedmetodistractme?”
“No.”Heshakeshishead.“Ikissedyoubecauseit’smysecond-favoritethingtodowithmymouth.”Itiltmyheadtotheside.
“DoIwanttoknowwhatthefirstthingis?”Iaskhim,laughing.
Helooksaround.“IwishIcouldshowyou,”hesays,leaninghisheadbackontheheadrest.Thesmileonhisfacemakeshiseyesgoevenlighter,andIleaninforonemorekissbeforeturningandlookingoutthewindow.
Theflightgoesbyinrecordtime.Thewholetime,mystomachisgettingtighterandtighterwhilethepressuremakesmefeellikeIcan’tbreathe.Theplanestops,andtheseatbeltsigngoesoff,andeveryonestartstostandIgrabmybagasIgetupandstand,waitingforthepeopletostartmoving.Hesmilesatmeandleansforward,andItakeonelastkissfromhim.Hemakesmepassinfrontofhim,andIsmileattheattendantonmywayout.Hishandfindsmine,andIlookdown,knowingIshouldsaysomething.“Ace,”Istarttosaytohimaswewalktowardthebaggageclaim.
“Theresheis.”Ihearmysisters’voicesandslipmyhandoutofhis.Helooksdownforasecondathisemptyhandandthenlooksahead.Iwanttostophimfromwalkingsofastawayfrommeandtellhimmaybeweshouldtalk.ButallIhearismysisters’voices.”Thenot-newlyweds.”Ilookupandseethatmysistersaretherewithahugesignthatsays:
Mr.&Mrs.Baker.
IlaughandlookatAce,whodoesn’tlookatme,andIcanfeelhiswallsareup.“Hey,”Igreetwhenwegetcloseenoughtomysisters.
Clarabellacomesovertome.“Shit,gettingleftatthealtaragreeswithyou,”shesays,kissingmycheek,andIlookovertoseePresleygiveAceahugasshejokeswithhim.“Youlookamazing.”
“It’sthetan,”ImumbleandlookovertoseeifIcancatchAce’seyes,butClarabellaisswitchingsideswithPresleytohughim.
“Youlook,”Presleysays,lookingatme,andshesearchesmyeyes.“Idon’tknowwhatthatlookis,”shesays,laughing,andhugsme.It’sthelookofaproperlyfuckedwomanwhoiswonderinghowshecanprolongthiswithouttryingtosoundneedy.
“I’llgogetthebags,”Acesays,walkingawayfromus,andIwanttofollowhimandgowithhim.
“I’mgoingtogohelphim,”Istate,andmysisterslaugh.
“Ithinkhecanhandletwosuitcases,”Clarabellasays.“Besides,wewanttohearallaboutyourweek.”
“Yeah,”Presleyagrees,andallIcandoiswatchAcewaitforthebags.Thesmilethatwasonhisfacethewholeweekisgone.“Youdidn’ttextusafterthatfirstday.Um,hello,Shelby,”shesays,andIlookoverather.
“I’msorry,what?”Iask.
“Whatthehelldidyoudoallweek?”Clarabellaquizzes,foldingherarmsoverherchest.“Youwentradiosilent.”
“Iwasonvacation,”Iremindher,tryingnottolookatherincaseshecanseeallthememoriesreplayinginmyhead.
“Hereyougo.”IhearAce,andforthefirsttimetoday,hedoesn’tleanoverandkissme.
“Thankyou,”ImumbleasItrytocatchhisattention.
“Ladies.”Hesmilesatmysisters.“Itwasapleasure.”Hesmirksatthemandthenfinallyturnstolookatme.“Shelby,thanksfortheweek.”
“Wassheabuzzkill?”Presleyasks,lookingathim,andhelooksdownathisfeetandthenlooksupagain,lookingstraightatmewithasoftsmileonhisface.
“Shewasperfect,”hereplies,andIcan’thelpthesmilethatcomesonmyface.“I’llseeyouguysaround,”hesays,grabbinghisluggageandwalkingawayfromus.Iwatchhimgoeventhoughthewholetime,Iwanttoyellathimtostop,butIdon’tdoanythingbutfollowmysistersout.ThetwoofthemaretellingmewhatImissed,butthewholetime,Itrylookingaroundtoseeifhe’saroundheresomewhere.
Idon’tsayanythingontheridebacktomyhouse.Instead,Ilookoutofthewindowandwonderwheremyphoneis.Igethomeandwalkintothehouse,stoppingwhenIseethatthepictureofJosephandmeisgone.Ilookaroundthefamilyroomseeinghismagazinesaregone.WalkingtothekitchenIseeeverythingthathetouchedorwouldlooklikeitbelongedtohimisgone.“Whocleanedoutmyhouse?”IlookoveratClarabella,whoishuffingupthestepstryingtogettheluggageintothehouse.
“Didyoubringbrickswithyou?”sheasks,stoppingtotakeabreath.“Howisitthatyourluggageisamillionpoundswhenallyoupackedisskanky-assclothes?”
“Iforgotabouttheclothes,”Presleysays,laughingasshewalkstothefridgeandgrabssomethingtodrink.“WhatdidAcesaywhenhesawyouinthosehoclothes?”
“Hedidn’tsayanything,”Imumble,lookingaroundandwonderingiftheyaregoingtobeherelong.
“WasJosephtheonewhocleaneduphisstuff?”Iask,andtheylaugh.
“Areyoukidding?”Clarabellasays.“Momcameinwithabrownbox,andanythingthatdidn’tlooklikeyouboughtit,shetossedinthebox.”Ilookatherwithmymouthopennow.“Thenshedroppeditoffonhisfrontporch.”
“Shedidnot,”Isay,walkingovertomypurseandgettingmyphone.Seeingit’sdead,Iwalkovertothecounterandplugitin.
“Shedid,”Presleyconfirms.“Andshewrotedickheadonthebox.”Shelaughs.“It’smynewscreensaver.”
Ilookatthetimeonthestoveandthenturntolookatmysisters.“I’mtired,”Itellthem,hopingthattheydon’tseemelying.
“Youwereonvacationforaweek,”Clarabellapointsout,foldingherarmsoverherchest.“Sevendays.”
“Yeah,”Presleysays,leaningagainstthecounter.“Besidesdrinkingandpassingout,whatelsedidyoudo?”
“Wedidn’tdoanything,”Igasp.“Itwastwofriendsonvacation.”Ilookoveratthem.“I’mgoingtostartmylaundry.”
“Well,thisisfun,”Clarabellasays.“ButIcantellwhenyouaretryingtogetridofus.”
“Itoldyoushewasgoingtobelikethis,”Presleyclaims.“ItoldhertoletyouUberhomebyyourselfandmakeyouthinkwedidn’tcareButno.”SheglaresatClarabella.“Wehadtobesupportive.”
“Thankyouguyssomuch.”Ilookatthem.“It’sjustI’m..”Idon’tevenknowwhattosay.
“Wegetit,”Clarabellasays.“It’shardbeinghomewithoutseeingJoseph’sstuff,andyouhavetosettlein.”
“Yes,”Iagree,nottellingherthatIdidn’tthinkaboutJosephoncesinceIkissedAce.
“Well,listen,youcallusifyouarefeelingdown,”Presleysays.“AllyouhavetodoiscallClarabella,andshe’sgoingtorushoverhere.”Ilaughastheyargueoutofthehouse.
Iwaitfortheircartobegonebeforerunningtothekitchenandgrabbingmyphone.I’mpoweringitonwhenthedoorbellrings.“Fuckinghell,”Isaytomyself,walkingtothedoorwhiletryingtogetAce’snumbertocomeup.“Whatdidyouforget?”Ipullopenthedoor,expectingtofindoneofmysistersthere,butinstead,hestandstherewithhisheaddownandwhenhelooksup,allIcandoissmile”Ace.”Chapter25
Ace
Ijogupthestepsandpressthebuttontothedoorbell.Ilookaroundtomakesurethathersistersaregone.Ihearherfootstepscomingclosertothedoor,andmyheartspeedsupevenmore.Ilookdowntotellmyselfthatit’sfinebeinghere.Wearebestfriends,Iremindmyself.“Whatdidyouforget?”sheaskswhenshepullsthedooropen,andIlookupather,andallshecandoissmile,whichmakesmesmile.“Ace.”ThepainthatIhadinmychestisgonewithonelookather.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”sheasks,andIwaitforhertomoveasidesoIcangoin.
“Iwaswaitingforyoursisterstoleave,”ItellhersosheknowsI’vebeenhereawhile.TheminuteIpulleduptomyhouse,Iturnedrightbackaroundandheadedforher.Ihadnootherplanbuttotalktoher.
“Well,theyjustleft,”shesaysfinallyandmovesawayandIstepin.
“Iknow.Iwaswaitingdowntheblockforthemtoleave,”Ireply,andshelooksoveratme,hereyesopeningwide.“IfeltlikeIwasonastakeout.”Ilaughawkwardlyasshewalkstothekitchen,andIfollowher.I’vebeenheresomanytimes,butthistime,itfeelslikeI’minunchartedterritory,andmaybeIam.Istandinfrontoftheislandwhileshegoestothefridge.“Listen,”Isaywhensheopensthefridgeandgrabsmeawaterbottle.“Sorry,thatcameoutalotharsherthanIwanteditto.”Shehandsmethebottleofwater,andIgrabitbutputitonthecounter.“Iknowthatwesaidthatwhathappensontheislandstaysontheisland.”
“But,”shecutsin,comingaroundtomysideofthecounter.
IthinkofhowtosaythenextpartsoIdon’tscareheraway,butinstead,allthatcomesoutofmymouthis,“I’mstillonislandtime.”
Shesmirksatme,comingevenclosertome.“Isthatso?”ThisrighthereistheShelbythatIwant.NottheShelbywhowasquietandscaredtosayanything.IwanttheShelbywhoisn’tshyaroundme.IwanttheShelbywhocomesuptomeandkissesmejustbecauseshewantsto.
Myhandscomeuptopushthehairawayfromherface,tuckingitbehindherears.“Thatisso.”Myheartspeedsup,anditfeelslikeit’sgoingtocomeoutofmychest.
“Isn’tthatacoincidence.”Shetiltsherheadtothesideandlooksupatme.Sheliterallytakesmybreathaway.“SoamI.”
That’sthelastthingshesaysbeforeIslammymouthdownonhers.It’sbeenabouttwohourssincethelasttimeIkissedher,butitfeelslikeaneternity.Iwrapmyarmsaroundherwaistandpickherup.Herlegswraparoundmywaist,andshewrapsherarmsaroundmyneck,andinsteadofwalkingtothebedroom,Ijustputherassonthecounter.Herhandsareonmyshirt,pullingitup,whileIleaveherlipstokissdownherneck.Ourhandsflyeverywhereinordertogetusnaked.Hershirtisalmostrippedoffher,whileherhandsareonthebuttonofmypants.Mycockisdyingtogetoutandintoher,mymouthsalivatingtotasteherevenforaminute.
“Condom,”shepants,andIstopmoving.
“Idon’thaveany,”Istate,andshejustlooksatme.“WhythefuckwouldIhavecondoms?”
“Don’tyoucarrytheminyourwallet?”Sheglaresatme,andI’mglaringbackather.
“WhythefuckwouldIcarrytheminmywallet?”Iaskher.Mycockcriesoutatthethoughtofnotbeinginsideher.
“You’reaguy,”shesays,andIjuststareather.“Whyaren’tyoureadyforanysituation?”
“Because,”Isay,steppingawayfromher.“I’manadult,andIdon’tdorandomhookups.”
“Hmm,”shesays,lookingatme.“Interesting.”
“Whyisthatinteresting?”Iaskher.“You’veknownmeforever.HowmanytimeshaveIbangedsomeoneinthebathroom?”
“Never,”sheconfirmsinalmostawhisper.“Oh,IthinkIhavecondoms,”shesays,clappingherhandsandgettingoffthecountertoruntoherbathroom.Iwatchherrunupthestairs,andallIcanhearis,“Motherfucker.”Thenshecomesdownthestairs.“Mymotherthrewthemout.”Itrynottolaugh,butIcan’thelpit”It’snotfunny.ShewentthroughthehouseandthrewouteverythingshethoughtwasJoseph’s.”Sheholdsupherfingerandrunsforherphone.“Wecanorderthem.”
“Wearenotorderingcondoms,Shelby.”Iputmyhandsonmyhips.“Icanrunoutandbuythem.”Ireachformyshirt,andshecocksherhip.
“I’monbirthcontrol,”shesays,andIstopmoving.“And,well,Josephalwaysusedonebecausehedidn’twanttotakeachanceofmegettingpregnant.”Shelooksdownatherhands.“Imean,IguessIshouldthankhimforthat.”
“NotafanoftalkingaboutJosephwhenyou’renaked,”Igrumblebetweenclenchedteeth.“Imean,Iknowyoutwohadsex,butIdon’twanttotalkaboutit.”
“Whataboutyou?”Shelooksatme,andIrollmyeyes.
“Thinkaboutthatquestionagain,”Itellher,andshejuststaresatme.“Itwouldbeirresponsible.”
“Right.”Shewalkstomeandgetsonhertippy-toes,kissingundermychin.“Imean,therearelotsofthingswecandowithoutacondom.”Hertonguecomesout,lickingdownmyneck,andthenstops.“OhmyGod,”shesays,turningaroundandrunningtothefrontdoor.Shethrowsherluggagedownandunzipsit.
“Whatintheworldareyoudoing?”Ilookatherasshestartstothrowthingsoutofherluggage.
“Iwaspickingupmystuff,”shehuffs,gettinghertoiletrybag.“AndIpickedup..”Shezipsopenherbagandpullsoutthesleeveofcondoms.Shethrowsherhandsupintheairlikeshejustmadeatouchdown.“Theseandwastoolazytotakethemout.”Shegetsup.“Now,wherewerewe.”Ican’thelpbutlaughather.“Ithink..”Shewalksbacktothecounterandgetsonit.“Youwererighthere.”Shemotionstothemiddleofherlegs.“Andyouweregoingtoslideoneoftheseon.”Sheholdsupthecondomsinherhand.“Andfucktheshitoutofme.”
“Shelby.”Isayhername.“Youaretheonlyonewhocanmakemelaughandgetmehardallatthesametime,”Ideclare,walkingtoher.Igrabherfaceinmyhands.
“I’moneofakind,”shetellsmewithasmileonherface,andIwanttotellherI’vealwaysknownthat,butinstead,Ijustkissherlips.“Hmm,”shemoanswhenIpushherbackandopenherlegsmore.Sheliftsherhips,andassoonasIthrowherlegsovermyshoulder,mymouthdevoursher.“NowthisiswhatI’mtalkingabout.”Herhandsgetburiedinmyhair,andfortherestofthenight,wespenditnaked.
ThesoundofheralarmringsassoonasIthrustinsideherandcome.“Nowthat,”Isay,lyingonherandturninghertotheside,“iswhatIcallperfecttiming.”
Shekissesmyneck.“I’mstillhalfasleep,”shemumbles,andIlaugh,pullingoutofherandwalkingtoherbathroom.Igetridofthecondom,andwhenIwalkoutofthebathroom,sheisonherstomach.IwalkbackintothebathroomandstepintheshowerexpectinghertobeupwhenIwalkbackout,butinstead,sheisstillonthebed.Isitbesideherandkisshershoulderandshemoans.
“Coffee?”Iaskher,andshejustmumblesasIgrabmyboxersandheaddownstairs.GrabbingmypantsfromwhereIlefttheminthemiddleofthekitchen,Iputthemon,thenstartthecoffee.Openingthefridge,IseethatshehasenoughthingstomakeheranomeletthatIknowsheloves.IwhisktheeggswhenIseehercomingdownthestairswithherhairpiledonherheadandwearingarobe.“Morning.”Ismileather,andIseealittledropofwateronherneck.
“Morning,”shesays,stoppingandkissingmyshoulderbeforewalkingovertothecoffeemachinetopourhercoffee.“Itsmellssogood,”shesays,takingasipofhercoffeeasshesitsonastoolandwatchesme.Iplateheromeletandthenmine,goingtositnexttoher.
Shetakesabiteofheromeletandleansovertokissmylips.“Doesthisstillmeanwe’reonislandtime?”Iaskher,knowingthatwedefinitelyhavetotalkaboutthings.AtleastIknowthatIhavetotalkaboutthings.Shejustlooksatme,andIcan’ttellwhatsheisthinking,ormaybeit’sbecauseIdon’twanttoknowwhatshe’sthinking.Igetthisuneasyfeelinginmystomach”Whatarewedoing?”IfinallyaskthequestionI’vebeenwantingtoaskherforthelasttwodays.
Sheputsdownherfork,avoidinglookingatme.“Ihavenoidea,”shesayshonestly.
“Whatdoyouwant?”Iputmyownforkdown,thefoodnotfeelingsowellinmystomach.
“Idon’tknow.”Sheshrugshershoulders.“Whatdoyouwant?”
“Iwanttobeabletotakeyououtonadate,”Itellher,andIcanseehershouldersslumpjustabit.
“Doyoureallythinkthat’sagoodidea?”Shelooksatme.“Like,thinkaboutit.Iwasgettingmarriedaweekago,andnowI’mdating.”Idon’tsayanythingtoher,andwhenIdon’t,Icanseethatsheisgettingnervous.Herhandsshakeabit.“Howwouldthatmakemelook?”Ican’tsayanythingtoher.Ican’tevenfindthewords.AllofthemarestuckinmythroatasIlistentohermakeexcusesaboutwhywecan’tdowhatI’vebeendyingtodoforthepastfuckingfiveyears.“Howwouldthatlookforyou?”
“Idon’tgiveashitabouthowitwouldmakemelook,”Ianswerherfinally.
“Well,Ido,”shesays.“It’sgoingtobelike,ohlook,hetookheroutbecausehefeltsorryforherIcan’tevenimaginethegossipthatwentonwhenIleft.Icanjusthearthewhispers,andIamgoingtohavetoholdmyheadhighwhenIwalkintoashopandpeopleseemeandpoint.”Shelooksdown,andthenIseeatearescapethecornerofhereye.“Ijustcan’tdoit.”Itakeadeepbreathasmyheartpoundsinmychest.Pushingawayfromthecounter,IgrabmywhiteT-shirtfromthefloor.“Ace,”shesaysmynameandItakeonemorelookather.
“IguessIknowwherewestand,”Iclip,grabbingmyshoes.“Haveaniceday,Shelby,”Isay,walkingoutofthehouseandclosingthedoorbehindme.Chapter26
Shelby
Igrabmypurseandgetoutofthecar,slammingthedoorbehindme.ItakefivestepstowardthefrontdooroftheofficebeforeIrealizeIforgotmycellphoneinmycar.“Great,”Isay,walkingbacktothecarandgrabbingthephonefromthepassengerseat.
I’mclosingthecardoorforthesecondtimewhenIhearacarpullup,andI’mstupidenoughtolookup,hopingit’sAce.Myheartspeedsupinmychest,andwhenIlookover,Iseeit’sjustClarabella.“Morning,”shegreets,gettingoutofhercarwithacupoftakeoutcoffee.
“Shit,”Isay,turningandwalkingbacktothecarandgrabbingthecoffeefromthemiddleconsolethatIforgot.“Takethree,”Imumbletomyself,closingthecaragain.Ilookup,seeingClarabellawaitingforme.
“Listen,Idon’tknowwhattheydidtoyouonthatisland.Iknowyousaidyoudidnothingbutrelaxandchillallweeklong,”shetellsmewhenIgetcloseenough,andwestartwalkingupthestairsinunison,“buteversinceyougotback,yourbrainhasbeensofuckingforgetful.Igetit’shardtogetbacktothegrindaftervacation,butthisisridiculous,especiallyforyou.”IwanttoshoutatherthatIknow,butifIdothat,she’llknowsomethingmoreisbotheringmeandrightnow,I’mnotreadytodiscussit.WhenIgotbacktotheofficeonMonday,theywerebothwaitingformeandwantedtoknowallthedetails,butallItoldthemwasthatwejustrelaxedandenjoyedtheweather.Iwasluckythatmymothercamein,andthetalkchanged,andtheycouldn’taskmemorequestionsthatIdidn’twanttoanswer,especiallysincemyheadwasstillspinningabouthimwantingtodateme.AllIcoulddowhenheleftwaslookathisplateandthenlookatthedooragain.Forwhateverreason,Ithoughthewasgoingtocomebackandbelikelet’stalkaboutthisButhedidn’t.Instead,Igotupandputtheplatesawayandgotreadyforwork.Becausethatwaswhatwasexpectedfromme.
IlookoveratherreadytodenyitwhenweseePresleyarriving.“AtleastI’montime,”Imumble,lookingoveratPresleygettingoutofhercarwithherowncoffeeinherhand.“Morning.”Shewavesatus,andIturntowalkupthestairsputtinginthedoorcode.
Iwalkintotheofficespaceandgostraightformyoffice.Iputmypurseinthewhitechairfacingmydeskandsitdowninthechair,turningonthecomputer.“Youlooklikeshit.”IlookuptoseePresleywalkinginwithherhairhighinaponytail.
“Why,thankyou,”Isay,turningbacktothescreenandavoidingher.It’sbeentwodayssinceAceleftmyhouse,twodaysofmepullinguphisnumberonmyphoneandthenclosingitoff.Twodaysofsittingonthecouchreplayingthepastweekinmyhead.TwodaysofreplayingeverysingletimeIshouldhavetoldhimhowIfeltabouthim.TwodaysofwishingthatIcoulderasethelasttwodays.
“Whatarewetalkingabout?”Clarabellaasks,comingintomyofficewithhercoffeeinonehandandhernotepadintheother.
“I’mtellingherhowshelookslikeshit.”Presleyfillsherinonwhatweweretalkingabout.
“Iwasgoingtosaythatyouwerelookingrough.”Clarabellamovesmypursetothecouchandthencomesbackandsitsdown.“ButIfiguredyouknew.”
“HowthefuckwouldIknow?”Ileanbackinmychair,andmyheadfeelslikeit’sabouttogetaheadache,andit’sonlynineo’clock.
“I’massumingyouarelookingatyourselfinthemirror.”Clarabellachuckles.“Ifyouaren’t,youshouldbe.Youhavelikedarkcirclesunderyoureyes.”
“Youlookedgreatwhenyougothome,”Presleyinformsme.“Butthenwherediditgowrong?”
Icantellyouwhereitwentwrong,itwentwrongwhenIturnedaroundandtoldhimthatIdidn’tknowifIwasokaygoingoutonadate.“Anyway,Idon’tthinkthereisenoughtimetodiscusswhyyoulooklikeshit.”
“Great,”Isay,ignoringthemastheystartthemeetingabouttheweddingonSaturday.Igrabmynotes,andI’mhalflisteningtowhattheyaretalkingaboutbeforemymouthstartstalking.“ShouldIbedating?”Iask,andtheybothstoptalkingandlookatme,eachwithsurpriseontheirface.
“I’msorry,what?”Clarabellasays,closingherleatherbinderthatshekeepshernotesin.“Idon’tthinkIheardyou.”
“Areyoushittingmerightnow?”Presleyasks,shocked.“Like,areweactuallyhavingthisconversation?”
“What?”Ishrugmyshoulders.“I’mjustasking.Imean,Josephwasdatingwhilewewereabouttogetmarried.So,it’snotstrangeifI’mthinkingaboutdatingnowthatI’msingle.”
“Whowouldyouevendate?”PresleyasksandthenlooksatClarabella,thentheylookbackatme,waitingformetogivethemaname.
“Idon’tknow,”Ireply,avoidingtheireyesbecausetruthbetold,IdoknowwhoIwoulddate.IwoulddatehiminaheartbeatifIwasn’tsofuckingscaredofthegossipthatIletittakecontrolofme.IwasalsoscaredofmyimageandhowitwouldlookifIstarteddatingrightaway.Withtheguywhosegirlfriendwasfuckingmyfiancé.Wouldtheythinkhetookpityonme?WouldtheythinkIwastakingpityonhim?Thequestionsareendless,butonethingisforsure.Imisshim.Imisshimsomuch.Notjusthistouchbutalsohissmile.Hisvoice.Hislaughter.“Ihaven’tthoughtaboutthatpartyet.I’mjustaskingshouldIbedating.”
“Well,I’mallforfalloffthehorse,getonthebull,”Presleysays,andwealllookather.“What?”
“You’vebeenridingthatsamehorsesinceyouwereeighteen,”Clarabellasays,andhermouthjustopenswideinshockImean,it’snosecretthatshehasathingforBennett,butwe’veneversaiditoutloud.It’sbeenroughthelastcoupleofyearssinceheworksabouttwohoursawayandonlycomestotownacoupleoftimes.
“I’veriddenadozenhorses.”Shecrossesherarmsoverherchest,andwebothknowshe’slying.“Anddon’tlookinmybarnwhileyouthinknooneknowsaboutyoutryingtoridethathorsethatlefttown.”ShementionsLuke.HeandClarabellawereworkingsidebysideasourmainfoodvendor,wholefttownoutoftheblueacoupleofmonthsago.Clarabellasaysitdoesn’tbotherher,butI’mnotsureaboutthatone.Thetwoofthemwerefriendsincollegeanddrifted,buttheirpathscrossedagainwhenthekitchencaughtonfire,andhesavedtheday.
Clarabellashrieks,“Inevertriedtoridethathorse!”Irollmylips.“Thehorsetriedtorideme.”
“Andyoulethim,”Presleysays,andallIcandoislaughathowmyproblembecameabouteveryoneelse,exceptforme.
“Thistalkhasbeenamazing,”Isaytothem,puttingmyhandsonthedeskandgettingup.“Somewouldsayit’sevenbeeneye-opening.”
Theybothrolltheireyesatme.“Sitdown.Doyouhavesomeoneshecoulddate?”PresleyasksClarabella.
“Okay,holdonforasecond,”Iurgebeforethisgoesoutofhand.“Idon’twanttodateanyone.”
“Youjustaskedifyoushouldbedating,”Presleysays.“Andyoudon’twanttodateanyone.”
“Idon’twantyouguystofindsomeoneformetodateiswhatI’mtryingtosay.”Myheadspins.“IwasjustaskingifIshouldbedating.”
“Whatdoesthatevenmean?”Clarabellaasks.“Eitheryouwanttodateoryoudon’twanttodate.”
“It’snotthateasy,”Isay,huffing.
“It’seasierthanthat,”Presleysays.“Allwehavetodoissignyouupforadatingappandletthemdoalltheworkforyou.”
“No.”Ishakemyhead.“Canweforoncejustnotbloweverythingoutofcontextandpayattentiontomywords?”
“Wearen’tblowinganythingoutofcontext,”Clarabellapouts,foldingherarmsoverherchest.
“Wearegivingyouoptions,”Presleysays.“Letmeaskyouaquestion.
“Whydoyouthinkyoushouldn’tdate?”sheasks,andIjustshrugmyshoulders
“BecauseacoupleofweeksagoIwasgoingtomarrysomeone!”Ifinallyshout.“Iwouldbemarriedrightnowifhedidn’tfuckupandsendmethatemail.”Ittakesmeasecondtoletthepaincome,butsadly,nothingbutangerfillsme.“CanyouimagineIwouldhavebeenmarried,andhewouldhavestillbeenwithSheila?”
“Ifyouaskme,hedidyouafavor,”Clarabellasays.“Canyouimagineyouwouldhavebeenmarriedtohimandthenfoundout?”
“Orhadkidsandfoundout?”Presleyadds.“Thenwhat?”
“Idon’tknowthenwhat,”Iwhisper,sittingdownnow.“IguessI’mluckyIfoundoutwhenIdid.”
“HowisAce?”Clarabellaasks,andIalmosthavewhiplashwhenIlookather.
“WhatdoyoumeanhowisAce?”Itrynottoletmyvoicerise.“HowwouldIknowhowheis?”
“Youspentaweekwithhimonanisland,”Presleysaysthewordsslowly.“Atahoneymoonresort.Washeasdepressedasyouwere?”
“Um,”Isay,tryingtofindthewords.“Hewassad.”Foraboutaday,Isayinmyhead,andthenwefuckedforthewholeweek,andtobehonest,neitherofusmentionedanythingaboutJosephorSheila.Ididn’teventhinkofJosephuntilIgothome,andtheytoldmethattheygotridofhisshit.“HewantedtoknowifIknewandwhenIthoughtithappened.”
“IwonderifSheilawenttoseehim,”Clarabellasays,andjustthethoughtmakesmeill.LikeIamgoingtobephysicallyillwiththethoughtofhergoingtohim.
I’mabouttosnapatthemwhenthephonerings.“Ihavethingstodo,”Clarabellastates,gettingup.“Howaboutwehavedinnertomorrownight,andwecantalkaboutit?”Sheopensherhand.“Moreaboutyoudating.”
“I’mgoingtomakealist,”Presleysays,gettingup.“Justsowecanknowwhoisintheplayingfield.”
“Oh,dearGod,”Imumblewhentheystarttowalkout.
“AreweputtingBennettonthatlist?”ClarabellajokeswithPresley.
“WeshouldalsoaddLuketothatlist,”Presleysays,andtheybothtelleachothertofuckoff,leavingmealonewithmythoughts.
Iturnandlookoutthewindowseeingthesuncomingin.“WhatthehellamIgoingtodo?”Iasktheemptyroom,expectingsomeonetoanswerme.Surely,someoneknowswhatIshoulddo.Buttheroomremainssilent.Actually,theonlysoundintheroomisthebeatingofmyheart.Chapter27
Ace
“Well,youdiditagain,”myfathersays,leaningagainstthebar.Hepicksuphisglassofscotch,andIgrabmyown.“Closedanotherdealthateveryonesaidcouldn’tbedone.”HesmirksatmeasIclickmyglasstohis.Thebothofusaredressedinnavy-bluesuitsandwhitebutton-downshirtsbutwithnotie.Hisblackhairturnedmoresaltandpepperthanblack,hisblueeyesjustlikemine.
Ilookaroundtherestaurantthatisstartingtogetbusierandbusierwiththedinnercrowd.It’sattachedtothehotel,soitwasano-brainerthatwewouldallcelebratehere.Amajorityofthepeoplestandingaroundthebararemyco-workers.WhenIgottoworkonMonday,wegotwordthatoneofthetoprealestatedevelopmentcompanieswaslookingtoselloffpieces.Itwasahugedeal,andafteronephonecallwithmyfather,whoworkedinanotheroffice,wedecidedtojoinforcesandseewhatwecoulddo.So,wegotonaplaneanhourlater,andforthelastfourdays,we’vebeenironingoutallthedetails.Wefinallygotitdonethirtyminutesago,andbothofficesaremeetingforcelebratorydrinks.“Itwasajointeffort,”Isay,pickingupmyownglassofscotchandbringingittomylips.
“Forsomeonewhojustclosedthedealofalifetime,”hestartstosay,lookingaround.“Youlooklikeshit.”Idon’tknowwhy,butIlaughathowhedidn’tmincewords.
Ilookoverathimandleanagainstthebar.“It’sbeenacrazyfourdays.”IblameitontheworkthatwejustdidForthepastfourdays,we’vebeeninaconferenceroomgoingovernumbers,fourteenhoursaday,butinthebackofmyheadstilllingeredthelastconversationIhadwithShelby.
“I’mnotsupposedtobringthisup.”It’smyfather’sturntolaughnow.“AndyourmotherwillkillmeifshefindsoutI’mevendiscussingthiswithouther.”Ishakemyhead,knowingsheprobablygavehimstrictconversationtopics.Icalledthemonthewaytotheairportlastweek.Ididn’tgivethemmuchinformation,justthatSheilaandIwerenomore.Itwasalsosixo’clock,sotheywerebothsleeping,butIdidgetanin-detailtextfrommymothertwodayslaterwhenshegotthewholestory.Ihaveyettoanswerherback,andIknowthatsheisgivingmeuntilthisweekendbeforeshepouncesonme.“Butwell.”
“Butwell,youhavequestions,”Isaytohim.“Icanonlyimagine.”Iputmyhandsonthebar,waitingforthequestionstostart.
“Notsomanyquestionsbecauseyourmotherhasallofthem,andifshefindsoutthatIgottheanswersbeforeher,it’llbetheendoftheworld.”Myfatheristheonewhoneverasksaquestion.Ever.Heisthequietone,andwhateveryoutellhimstayswithhim.Hewillnevertellyouwhatheknows.Hewillnevergossipaboutit.Mymother,ontheotherhand,wantstoknoweverything.AndImean,everything,andthenshe’llcallhercousinsorsisterandtalkaboutitforhours.“Ijustwanttoknowyou’reokay,”hesays,lookingaround.“Eventhoughyoubarelygotanysleepthisweek.DoyoulooklikeshitbecauseofSheila?”
“Actually,it’snotthereason,”IadmitandtakeasipofthescotchtothinkaboutwhatelseIshouldsay.“Idon’tthinkIlovedher.”Hedoesn’tsayanything.Hejustwaitsformetocontinuemythoughts.“Like,ifIthinkaboutitreallyhard.MaybeIthoughtIdid.Maybeit’sbecauseIwascaughtupinthemoment.”Idon’tknowwhatelsetosay.
“Well,ifyouaresittinghereandshe’snotthereasonyoulooklikethat.”Hepointsatme.“ThenI’mgoingtogooutonalimbandsayyoudidn’tloveher.Maybeyouthoughtyoudid.Maybeyoujustgotwrappedupinthewholelovethingbecauseyouthoughtthatitwasthenextstep.”
Ihangmyheadnow.“ShefuckedJoseph.”ItellhimsomethingthatIdidn’tputinthetext,butafterbeingawayforaweek,Ihavenoideawhathe’sheardornot.“Imaginefindingthatoutthedayofhiswedding.”Ishakemyhead.“Shefuckedmybestfriend.She’sprobablystillfuckinghim,whoknows.Whocares?”
“Iheard,”hesays,shakinghishead,andIdon’tknowwhyI’msurprised.
“Whotoldyou?”Ishrug.“Imean,notthatitmatters.”
“Shedid,”hesays,andit’smyturntobeshocked.“Shecalledustwodaysafteryouleft.Shewassobbingandlookingforyou.”Ilaugh,grabbingmyglassofscotchandfinishingit.“Saidshedidaterriblething,andallshewantsistotalktoyou.”
“Whatdidyoutellher?”Iaskhim,andheputshisheaddown.
“Iwantedtohanguponher,”myfatheradmits,“butyourmother,well,shedidnottakethatwellandtoldhertofuckoffandgofindJesus.”Ilaughbecausemymotherisn’treligiousatall.“IwishthatIcouldsaythatisall.”Iwaitforhim,andhelaughs.“Butthenyourmotherhadtimetodigest,andwell,thatdidn’tgowellatallShecalledherbackandaskedherhowshecoulddosuchathingandnotonlythat,buthowshethoughtshecouldcallherandshewouldhelpfindyou.Thatendedwithagofuckyourself.”
“Ohmy,”Isay,shakingmyhead.“Well,thatwas.”Ilaugh.“Ihaven’tspokentohersince.”
“HowisShelbytakingit?”heasks,andjusthernamemakesmystomachdoflips,andI’mafraidtosayanythingwhenitcomestoher,soIjustshrug.“Yourmothercalledhermotherwhenshefoundout.”Myfatherfinisheshisscotch.“Let’sjustsayIhadtocalmthewhole‘let’sdestroythem’talk.”
Ilaugh,andweareinterruptedbyacoupleofpeoplewhocomeoverandcongratulateus,andmyheadgoestoShelby.Iwonderifmymothercalledhertoseeifshe’sokay.Iwonderifsheisokay.IwonderifshemissesmelikeImissher.IwonderifshedreamsabouttheweekwehadtogetherlikeIdoeveryfuckingnight.Dinnerisabluraswealleat,andeveryonetriestomakesmalltalk.
I’mstandingatthebarwaitingtogetabottleofwaterwhenJenna,myco-worker,comesover.“Whatarewedrinking?”sheaskswithasmileonherface.Shestandsbesidemewithherhandsonthebar.
“I’mgettingabottleofwater,”Itellherassoonasthebartendercomesover.“Whatdoyouwant?”
“Wearegoingtohavetwoshotsoftequila.”Sheholdsupherfingers,andIjustshakemyhead.“Two,”shetellsthebartender,andheturnsaway.
“I’mnotdrinkingthat,”Itellher,laughing.Sheturnstolookatmenow.
“We’recelebrating.”Shecocksherhipassheleansintothebar.Ijustshakemyheadandgrabthebottleofwaterwhentheservercomesback.“Comeon.”Sheholdsherhandoutforme.“Justone.”
“Fine,”Iconcede.“Butit’saoneanddone,”Isay,andshejustsmilesbig.Wetaketheshot,andshesucksonherpieceoflime.
“So,Iheardthroughthegrapevine,”shestartstosay,andIputtheglassdownonthebar.“Thatyou’resingle.”
Well,itwasonlyamatteroftimebeforeitgottomyco-workers.“Youheardright.”Idon’tknowwhy,butIfeellikeshe’sgottenclosertome.
“I’mnotgoingtolie.”Shepushesherblondhairoverhershoulder,leaningoverandtouchingmyhand”I’mnotupsetaboutit.”Herhandlingersonmineforlongerthanitshould.Shelooksaroundnow.“I’mstayinginroomeightfourteen,”shesays,gettingclosertome.“Ifyouwanttocomebyandtalk.”Shetakesanotherstep,andthistime,thereisnospacebetweenus.“Ornottalk.”
Sheturnsaroundandwalksbacktothetable,grabbingherjacketandpurse.
Ilookdownatmyhandandthenlookbackupagaintoseethatsheiswalkingoutoftherestaurantandheadedtothehotel.Ilookaroundandseemydadtalkingwithsomeoneelseandjustholdupmyhandtohim.Henodsashecontinuestheconversation.
Iwalkoutoftherestauranttotheelevatorspressingthebuttonforup.Thedoorsopen,andIstepin,lookingatthenumbersandpressingitbeforethedoorsclose.Chapter28
Shelby
“Soonceyougetsetuphere,”Clarabellasaystothebridethatwearedoingawalk-throughwith,“wegetyouandtheweddingpartyreadyfortheday.”
“It’sbeautiful,”thebridegushes.“Absolutelystunning.Woulditbepossibletohaveapartyheretheweekbefore?”Shelooksatmefortheanswer,andIhavetoadmitI’mnotevenlisteningtowhatshe’ssaying.Iwasdoingthewalk-through,andtheonlythingIcouldthinkaboutwashowmuchIdidn’twanttobehere.WhichwaskillingmesinceIlovemyjob.Loveit.Iwantedtoloveitagain,buteverythinginmylifeisamess,andthereisnothingthatIcando,whichmakesmeevenmorecrazy.
“I’msorry,”Isay,shakingmyhead.
“Marcelawaswonderingifwecandoapartyheretheweekbeforeforherbridesmaids’trial,”Presleyfillsmeinwithasmileonherfaceanda“whatthefuck”lookinhereyes.
“Iwouldhavetocheckthedates,”Itrytocoverup.“ButIthinkthatshouldbeokay.”Ilookatmysisters.“Ifyouwillexcuseme,Ihaveacall,”Isay,smilingtoallofthemwhenIwalkaway.ThesoundofmyheelsfillsthecorridorasImakemywaytothebar.Igrababottleofwater,turningandwalkingtomyoffice.
“Whatthefuckwasthat?”Clarabellaquestions,comingintomyofficeandpointingatthedoortheminuteIsitdownandopenmybottleofwater.
“Iwasgoingoveralistinmyhead,”Ilietoherandavoidlookingatherbecauseshe’llseerightthroughme.
“Listen,Idon’tknowwhat’sgoingonwithyou,”Clarabellasays.“Butyouneedtogohomeandgetthatshitsortedout.”
“Youarenotgoingtokickmeoutofmyoffice.”Istandup,angry.
“I’mnotkickingyououtofyouroffice,idiot.”Sherollshereyes.“I’mtellingyoutofixyourheadwhenyougohome.”
“Oh.”Isitdown.“Well,then,IadmitIwasnotontheballtoday.”
“Well,thefirststepisadmittingit,”shesays.“Whatisgoingonwithyou?”
“Nothing,”Isay,butmyheadisscreamingeverythingiswrong.IkeepdrivingbyAce’shouse,andtherehasbeennooneathishouse,whichmeanshe’soutoftown.“I’mjustoff,maybe.”
“MaybeyouaresufferingfromPTSDfromyourwedding,”Presleysuggests,comingintotheroom.“Maybeyouneedtotakemoretimeoff.”
“I’mgoingtobefine,youtwo.”Ilookatthem.
“Well,it’sagoodthingwehavetheweekendoffsoyoucantaketherestoftheweekoffandfengshuiyourself,”Presleysays,sittingdownonthecouch.“Maybegogetafacial.”
“Spaday.”Clarabellanods.“Weshouldhaveaspaweekend.”
“I’mdown,”Presleyadds.“Ihavethiskinkinmyneckthathasbeenbotheringmeallweek.”
“Sex,”Clarabellasays,lookingatme.“Youneedtohavesex.Maybethatwillmakethecobwebsgoaway.”
“Fromherbrainorhervagina?”Presleylaughs.Igetupandgrabmybag.
“I’mleaving,”Ideclare,walkingoutoftheroomwiththeirlaughterlingeringbehindme.OnceIgetinmycar,Imakemywayhome,butofcourseIstopbyAce’s,seeingthathiscarisn’tthere.Igetoutofthecaranywayandwalkuptohisfrontdoor.Iringthedoorbell,hopingthatbysomemiracle,heanswersthedoor,butnooneisthere.
ItrytoswallowdownthelumpinmythroatasIgetbackintomycarandgohome.Arrivinghome,Iopenthedoor,tossingmypurseonthefloorandslippingoutofmyshoes.Imakemywayupstairstochangeoutofmydresspants.IlookatthebedthatIhaven’tmadesinceheleftmeinit.ThepillowhesleptonisinthemiddleofthebedbecauseIhelditlastnight.Iturn,walkingtotheclosetandputtingonshortsandatanktop.
Istopinthekitchenforsomeicecreambeforegoingovertothecouch,andassoonasIsitdown,thememoriescomebacktome.EverysingletimeI’vegottenhome,it’slikemybrainknowsthatImisshim,soitshootsouteverysinglememoryIhaveofhim.Ilookoveratthecounter,andIcanstillpicturehimsittingthereafterhemademebreakfast,tellingmethathewantedtotakemeonadate.ThewaymyheartfeltlikeitwasgoingtocomeoutofmychesttothewaymyeyesstungwhenIheardhimslamthedoorbehindhim.Itwasalmostasifthenailsealedthecoffinshut.Iturnonthetelevision,andmyphonebeepsfromthehallway,whereit’sstillinmypurse.
Gettingup,Ihearitpingagain,andwhenItakeitoutofmypurse,Iseeit’smysisters.
Clarabella:Let’sgettogetherfordinner.
Presley:I’mdown.Where?
Clarabella:WhataboutPete’sBrewery?
MyhandsmovebeforeIevenhaveachancetoregister.
Me:Isthatsafe?
Clarabella:JesusChrist,Idon’tgiveashitifLukeisthereornot.
Me:Fine.I’min.Whattime?
Clarabella:Five.
Me:Seeyouguysthere.
Clarabella:Reservationisundermyname.
IregretitassoonasIputthephonedown,butIknowIhavetogetoutofthishouseorI’llgocrazy.Runningbackupstairs,Itakeashowerandgetready,goingtotheclosetandgrabbingmywhitejeans.Islidethemon,grabbingawhitesleevelessshirt,andIalmostlaugh,thinkingaboutAcemoaningabouteverythingbeingwhite.Justthinkingabouthimagainmakesmychesthurt.Islipmyfeetintomybrownsandals,thengointothebathroomandmakesuremyhairisokay.Ibrushonsomemascaraandseethebagsundermyeyes,andIseemyeyesarenotbrightliketheywerethelastweek”Dammit,Ace,”Icurseandturntowalkoutofthebathroom.
Imakemywaytotherestaurant,pullingopenthedoorandhearingpeopletalking.Thehostessstandisemptywithasignthatsayspleasewaittobeseated.Ilookaroundseeingifmaybemysistershavearrived.IseenoonethatIknowandthentakemyphoneoutandtextthegrouptext.
Me:I’mhere.
“Hi,”IhearthehostesssaywhileI’mlookingdownatmyphonewaitingformysisterstoanswer.“Doyouhaveareservation?”
“Yes,forClarabella,”Isayandlookdownatmyphoneseeingthattheyhaven’tansweredme.
“Rightthisway,”thehostesssays,walkingallthewaytotheendoftheplaceinthecorner.ThetableishighasIsitdowninoneofthechairslookingtowardthebar.Icanseeoutbothwindowsfrommyseat”Someonewillbebytotakeyourorder.”
“Thankyou,”Ireplywhensheputstwomenusonthetable.Igrabonewhiletheservercomesover.
“Hi,I’mTodd,andI’llbeyourserver,”theyoungmansays,smilingatme.“CanIstartyouoffwithsomethingtodrinkwhileyouwait?”
“I’llhaveaglassofwhitewine,please.”Ismileathim,andhenodsatme,turningandwalkingaway.Igrabmyphoneandtextthem,seeingasnoonehasgottenbacktome.
Me:I’msittingontherightsideinthecorner.
Me:Iorderedwhitewine.
Me:ShouldIorderappetizerstoshare?
Me:Wherethefuckareyou?
Iputthephonedown,lookingupandseeingthatpeoplearestartingtocomeinsinceit’squittingtime.Thetablesaroundmequicklyfillupasthesoundofdishesclankingandchatterfillstheroom.“Hereyougo,”Toddsays,puttingdownmydrink.“Stillwaitingonmorepeople?”
“Yes,”Iconfirm,andhenods,walkingawayfromme.ItakeasipofthewhitewinewhenIseeaguywalkingtowardmytable.Hisblackhairisbrushedtotheside,andhisbrowneyesarefixatedrightonme.IavoidlookingathimasIturntotakeanothersipofmywine.
“Shelby.”Ihearmynameandturnbacktoseetheguystopbymytable.
“Yes,”Irespond,thinkingtomyselfifI’vemethimbefore.
“Sergio.”HesayshisnameasifI’msupposedtoknowwhoheis.Hepullsoutachairandsitsdown.
“Um,”Isay,abouttotellhimthatmysistersarejoiningme.“Sorry,thatchairistaken.”
“Iknow,”hesays,smilingatme,andIlookaroundsoconfused.“Clarabellasaidtotellyoujustgowithit.”Everythinginsidemeturnstoice,andtheonlythingthatIcanthinkofisI’mgoingtofuckingkillmysisters,especiallywhenhesaysthenextwords.“I’myourblinddate.”Chapter29
Ace
Islipthekeyintothedoor,pushingitopenwhenitunlocks.Theairaroundmeisthickandstalefrombeingclosedforthepastfivedays.Iwalkpastthelivingroomandupthestairs,dumpingmybagonthebed.Ishrugoffmysuitjacketandtossitonthemadebedbeforekickingoffmyshoesandsteppingintotheshower.
MyheadistellingmetogoandseeShelby.Myheartachestotalktoher,yetmyprideisfightingmealltheway.EvenwhenIputjeansonandaT-shirt,myhandsitchtopickupmyphoneandcallher.Butinsteadofdoingthat,Iopenthefridgeandseethatit’sempty.Igrabmykeysandheadouttothepubtograbmyselfsomethingtoeat.
Parkingthecar,Igetoutandtakethephone.Everysingledayitgetsheavierandheavierwiththeneedformetojustcallher.I’mwalkingtothedoor,andmyheartstopswhenIseeherwalkingoutjustacoupleoffeetfromme.ShelooksevenmorebeautifulthanshedidthelasttimeIsawher.Shelooksevenmorebeautifulthaninmydreams.She’sfuckingexquisite.Iseeherlookbehindher,andshesmilesassheholdsthedoor.Myhearthammersinmychest,knowingsheissoclosetome.Myhandsgetitchytotouchher,andmywholebodyfeelslikeitcanrelax.Shelooksupandspotsme.Herfacegoesabitwhite,andhermouthopens,butmyeyesgototheguybehindhersmilingdownather.“Hi,”Igreet,notsurewhattosayorhowtoact.
“Ace,”shesaysmynameinasurprisedtone.
“Hi,”Isayagainlikeanidiot,andIlookoverattheguywhostandsbesideherwithhishandonherlowerback.
“This..”Shestartstostutter.“ThisisSergio.”Sheturnstointroducehim,andmyhandgripsthephoneinmyhand.Mybodythatwassohappytoseeherhasclosedoff.Myheartthatwasbeatinghardinmychesthasfallentomystomach.“Sergio,thisismybestfriend,Ace.”
Helaughsfrombesideher.“Hopefully,nexttimewemeet,she’lladmitthatsheisonadatewithme.”Thewordsstabmeintheheart.
Ilookathimandthenather.“Onecanhope.Ifyouexcuseme,Ihaveacall,”Isay,avoidingtalkingtoherasIturnandwalkaway,notevengivingherthetimeofday.Ihearhercallingmyname,butIjustwalktothecar,myheadgoingaroundandaround.Idon’tevenlookbackwhenIleave.Myphonestartsringing,andIseeonthescreenthatit’sher.IpressthedeclinebuttonasImakeithome.
Iignorethepoundinginmyhead.Iignorethewaymyheartisabouttoburstoutofmychest.IignorethepaincoursingthroughmewhileIwalktothecabinetandtakethebottleofscotchout.Iunscrewthetopandtakethelongestgulpofmylife.Theburningisallthewaydownmychest.Iputthebottledownandplacemyhandsonthecounter,makingmyheadhang.“Whatthefuck?”IsaytomyselfassoonasIhearaknockonthedoor.
Ithinkaboutnotanswering,butmyfeetmovefasterthanmybrain.Iopenthedoor,andtheresheis,standingthere.“It’snotwhatitlookslike,”shesays,hereyesfilledwithtears.
“Itdoesn’tmatter,”Ireply,shakingmyhead.Instead,IfeellikeI’mbeingdrowned.Likesomeoneispushingmyheadunderwater,andIcan’tcomeup.“Yousaidthatyoudidn’twantthis.”Ipointatherandtomyself.
“Ineversaidthat,”shesnapsandtakesasteptowardme,butImoveback,andshestopsmoving.Herhandtrembles,andIhatethatIdidthistoher.Hatethatmywordshurtherlikethat.“IsaidthatIdidn’tthinkitwasagoodideaforyoutotakemeoutonadate.”Iraisemyeyebrows.“Itisnotwhatitlookedlike.”
“Attheendoftheday,yousaidthatyouwantedtokeepthisasecret.”Iputitinmyownwords.“Byyounotwantingmetotakeyououtonadate,thatmeantyouwantedtobeasecret.”
“It’snotthat,Ijust..”Shewipesawayatear,andifmyheartdidn’tfeelbrokenbefore,itdoesnow.”Ican’t.”Iholdmyhandup.
“Iwascheatedonandliedto.”Thewordscomeoutwithnoemotioninmyvoice.“AndI’mnotgoingtodothatanymore.”Iswallowdownthelumpinmythroat.“I’msorry.”Iclosethedoorinherface.Myhandisstillonthehandleasmyheadfallsforward.Iclosemyeyes,listeningtohercardoorslambeforeturningbackandheadingtothebottleofscotch.Chapter30
Shelby
Thedoorslamsinmyface,andallIcandoisstandherestunned.Tobehonest,Idon’tblamehimonebitItellhimIcan’tdatehim,andthenextminute,I’mwalkingoutofthepubwithaguy.TheminuteSergiosaidtheworddate,Iknewthiswasnotgoingtoendwell.
WhenIcalledhisname,andheignoredme,Iknewthathewashurt.Fuck,iftheroleswerereversed,Iwouldhavekickedhimintheballsandturnedaway.Thewholetimeovertohishouse,allIcouldseewasthelookonhisface.Thelookofhurt,butthenhemaskeditformenottoseeit,butwhenheswungthedooropen,therewasnodenyingwhatthatlookwas.Itwasheartbreakingtosee.ItbrokemeknowingthatI’mtheonewhocausedthis.
Igetinthecar,andtherageripsthroughme.“Fuck!”Ishout,andmycarpullsuptothehouse.Igetoutofthecar,notevenbotheringtoturnitoffbecauseI’mnotgoingtobeherelong.Istompupthestepsandpressthebell,andthewholetime,thehurtinmeturnstoanger.
Ihearfootstepscomeclosertothedoor,andIstandtall.Heopensthedoor.“Shelby,”hesays,shockedandsurprised.
“Whydidyoudoit?”IaskthequestionthatIaskedallnightlong.“Whycheatonme?”
Hepuffsout,shockingme.“Please,likeyougiveashit,”hehisses,andI’mtheoneshocked.“Howwasourhoneymoon?”Hisheadadvances.“WithAce,”hesneers.I’mabouttoanswerhim,buthedoesn’tstopthere.“Betyouenjoyeditwithhimbetter,didn’tyou?”Itakeasecondtolistentohiswords.”Whycan’tyoubemorelikeAce?”hemimicswhatIsaidtohimonce.“Whycan’tyousupportmethewayAcedoes?”Hisvoicestartstogohigher,andIlaugh.
“I’msorry,what?”Iputmyhandtomyhead,shakingit.“You’rejealous.”Itallmakessensenow.“You’rejealousofAce.”
“Why,becausehemakesmoremoneythanme?”Thevenomcomingoutofhismouth.I’mshockedthatIneversawit.Heneverevershowedmethissideofhim.“Why,becausehegothisdreamjob,andIhavetokisseveryone’sasstosucceed?”Hestandsupstraight.“Hemayhaveallthosethings,butwhatIhaveischarm.”Iwanttolaughathim.“IfuckedeverysingleoneofhisgirlfriendsfromhighschooltocollegetoyouandthentoSheila.Youknowwhy,becauseIcouldandbecauseI’mbetterthanhim.”
Ican’thelpbutlaughoutloud.“Youaresowrong,”Iinformhim.“He’sworthmorethanyouare,andyouknowthat.Deepdowninside,youknowthatyouarenothingcomparedtohim.It’swhyiteatsyouupinside.It’sprobablywhyyouwentafterme.Togettohim.”Ican’thelpbutputmyhandsonmyheadandlaugh.“Itallmakessensenow.Lyingtomeaboutyoubeingtheonewhokissedme.”Hisfacegoeswhitenow,shockedthatIknow.“Yeah,Ifoundout.”
“So,what?”Hefoldshisarmsoverhischest.“BigflippingdealIliedaboutkissingyou.YouweresobusytryingtorideAce’sdickyoudidn’tevenknowthedifference.”
“Trustme,anyonewhowaswitheitherofyouknowsthedifference.”Ilookathimanddownathiscock.“Hebeatsyouinmorewaysthanone.”Iturn,walkingawayfromhim.“Oh,bytheway,”Isay,stoppingandturningaround.“Thankyou.”Itiltmyheadtothesideandsmileathimsweetly.
“Forwhat?”hesays,leaningagainstthedoorjamb.
“ForfuckingSheila.”Ismirkathim.“Ihavetosay,though,notsurewhyshekeptcomingbackformorewhenshehadAceathome.”Iturnaroundandholdupmyhand,wigglingmyfingers.“Bye-bye,one-minuteman.”
Igetintothecaratthesametimeasheslamshisdoor.Iputmycarindriveandmakemywayovertomymother’shouse,knowingthey’llbetherewaiting.Iamnotwrong.WhenIshowupandstepoutofthecar,theyaresittingontheporch.
“Shedoesn’tlookthatmad,”Clarabellasays,gettingupfromherchair.
“ShelookspissedAF,”Presleydeclaresfrombesideher.“Itwasheridea.”ShepointsatClarabella,whojusthitsherhand.
“Itwasbothofus,”Clarabellasays,“butitwasPresleywhoacceptedthedatewithSergio.”ShepointsatPresley,whoslapsherhand.
“Doyouguysknowwhatyoudidtometoday?”Iask.“Byputtingmeinthatsituation.”Ilookatthem.
“Oh,comeon,don’tbesodramatic.”Clarabellafoldsherarmsoverherchest.“Itwasn’tsobad.”
“Hecouldhavebeenaserialkiller,”Ipointouttothem.
Presleyrollshereyes.“Hisprofilepictureishimwithakitten.Ihardlysaythatscreamsserialkiller.”
“HaveyounotwatchedDon’tFuckWithCats?”Icounter,myheartratestartingtogobackupagain.“Youguyscrossedthelinetoday.”Ishakemyhead.“Andtotopitalloff,Acecaughtmeonthis‘date.’”Iuseairquotes.Thepaininmychestisalmostunbearable.
“Sowhat?”Presleysays,confused,puttingherhandsonherhips.
“Sowhat?”Ishriek,throwingmyarmsintheair.“It’snotjustsowhat.”Mybreathisstartingtocomeinpants.IleandownandputmyhandsonmykneeswhileIlookupatthem,tryingtogetmybreathingundercontrol.“It’smorethansowhat.”
“Andwhyisthat?”Clarabellaaskswithasmirkonherface.Ishouldn’tjustblurtthisout.IshouldwaituntilItalktoAcebeforeIsayanything.Butifitwasn’tforthesetwomorons,Iwouldn’tbehavingafuckingpanicattackinthemiddleofmymother’swalkway.
“Becausewehadsex.”Ifinallythrowmyhandsupintheair,puttingmyheadbackandtakingadeepbreathofair.
“A-ha,Iknewit,”Presleysays.“Thatglowwasatan,”shemimicsmywords.“MyfuckingassthatglowwasIgotlaidandlaidgood.”Shepointsatme.
“Yeah,well,Idid,”Iadmitandswallow.“Itwasbetterthangood.Itwasoutofthisfuckingworld.”Myarmsflailaroundme.“Thereisnonumbertodoitjustice.”
“Forgiveme,”Clarabellasays,holdingupherhand.“ButIdon’tseethebigissueinallofthis.”
Iglareather,andwithmyteethclenched,Itellher,“Hewantedtodateme,andthenIsaidnobecauseitwastoosoon.”MyhandsfistatmysidesasIsayit.
“Howcanitbetoosoon?”Clarabellaasks.“Theminutesmalldickcheatedonyou,itwasfairgame.”
“Ijustdidn’twantittoseemlikeIjumpfromguytoguy,”Ifinallysnap.“WhichiswhyItoldhimno.”Myheartstartstospeedupagain,andmychesttightenswhenIthinkaboutit
“Well,thatisn’tourfault,”PresleysayswhileClarabellanods.“That’syourfault.”Shepointsatme.“Thisisayouproblemandnotaweproblem.”ShepointsatherandthenatClarabella.“Wewerejusttryingtohelp.”
“Youwanttohelp?”Itellthem.“Helpmewinbackmyman.”Chapter31
Ace
Theelevatordooropens,andIstepoutintothereceptionarea.“Goodmorning.”InodatSonia,whojustnodsatmeassheanswersthephone.
Imakemywayintomyoffice,ignoringthethrobbinginmyhead.Ishouldhaveworkedfromhometoday,butitwasalongfuckingweekend.AfterIslammedthedoorinherface,Iwenttomyroomandpackedabag.Ithoughtgoingtomyparents’wasagoodidea.Tenminutesintothevisit,Irealizeditwas,infact,theworstideaI’deverhad.
Mymotherwasallovermeallweekendlong,makingsureIwasokayandwhisperingwhenshethoughtIcouldn’thearher.IfIheard“it’sallright,dear”onemoretime,Iwasgoingtolosemyshit.Soinsteadofwallowingbymyselfinmyhouse,Ihadtopretendtobeokay,orelsemyparentswouldthinkthatIwasstillpiningawayaboutSheila,whichIdefinitelywasnot.
IgotbacklatelastnighttoaPost-itnoteonmydoor.
Weneedtotalk.
S.
Andit’snotSheila.
Ididn’twanttolaugh,butIdidanyway.ItookthePost-itdownandwalkedintothehouse,andtenminuteslater,thedoorbellrang.MyheartspedupinmychestasIthoughtitwouldbeher.Ididn’tknowifIwasevenreadytotalktoher.TheonlythingIknewwasthatregardlessIneededtohaveaconversationwithher.ButwhenIpulledopenthedoor,therewasawhitebox.Ilookedtoseeifshewasaround,butIdidn’tseeher.Itooktheboxintothehouseandsatdown.MyheartwasbeatingsofastinmychestwhenItookthetopoftheboxoffandunfoldedthewhitetissuepaper.Isawaframedpictureofusfromwhenwefirstmet.Iheldtheframeinmyhandasanotefelloffit.
Ace,
Thebeginning.
S.
NotSheila.
Icouldn’tstopthelaughterthatcameoutofme.Onlyshecouldmakemethiscrazyandlaughatthesametime.Itookthepicturewithmetomybedroomandplaceditbesidemybed.Thewholetime,Itossedandturned,thinkingabouther.Igaveupatfiveo’clockandwenttorunonthetreadmill,andthereIwas,gettingreadytostarttheday.ButIjustfeltoff.
Isitinmychairandbootupthecomputer,grabbingthepileofmailthataccumulatedinthepastweeksinceI’vebeengone.“Goodmorning,”Tania,myassistant,says,cominginwithabouquetofwhiteroses.Myeyebrowspinchtogetherwhenshesmirksatme.“TheseareforaMr.Ace.”Sheputsthemdownonthemiddleofthedesk.“Theyaresopretty,”shesays.“Andwhite.”Sheturnsandwalksoutofmyoffice,leavingmewithmymouthhangingopen.
Thetwodozenwhiterosesareinfrontofmewithawhitecardwithblackwriting,Mr.Ace.Iturnthecardoverinmyhandandpulloutanotherwhitecard.Inthemiddleofthecard,allthatiswrittenis:
FromtheMrs.
Iputthecarddownonthetableandturninmychairtolookoutthewindow.Ifeellostwithouther.Ifeellikehalfofmeismissing.Ifeellikeeverydayisawastedday.Aknockonthedoorhasmelookover,andI’mexpectingittobeanyonebuther.
“Hi,”shesays,andIcanseethatshehaslostweight.Herbrighteyeslookbloodshot,andhernoselookslikeshe’sbeencrying.“FiguredthatifIcamebyhere,youwouldn’tmakeasceneandthrowmeout.”Shestepsintomyofficewearingtightbluejeanswithababy-bluespaghettistraptop,tiedinabowinthemiddleofherchestandthenfallingdowninthefront.Itmakesherblueeyespopevenmore.Herhigh-heeledsandalsmakeherlegslookevenlonger.“Ijustneedaminute,andthenI’llleave.”Sheholdsherhandsinfrontofherandholdsherbag.“Weneedtotalk.”
“Ithinkeverythingthatneedstobesaidwassaid,”Iretort,mychesthurtingwitheverysingleminutethatshestandsinfrontofme.
“That’swhereyou’rewrong.”Sheblinksawaythetearsthreateningtofall.“Mysisterssetmeuponthatblinddatewithouttellingme,”shestartstosay,andeverythinginsidemestartstofalldown.“Theysaidlet’smeetfordinner,butwhenIshowedup,sodidtheblinddate.”Shetriestolaugh,butinstead,itcomesoutmorelikeasob.Sheputsherhandtohermouth,andIcanseeitshaking.“Imean,theyputmeonadatingwebsite.”Mymouthopensinshock.“WhichIhavesincedeleted.”
“Why?”Thequestioncomesoutinasoftwhisper.
“Because.”Sheshrugshershoulder.“ThereisreallyonlyonepersonIwanttodaterightnow.”
Istarttogetupfrommychair,butsheholdsupherhandtostopme.“Don’tsayanythingrightnow.”Sheputshershouldersback,andIcouldnotwanttokisshermore.“It’sonethingtobeshutdownwhenyou’reaskingaguyonadate.”Shesmilesthroughthetearstryingtomakeajoke.“It’sanotherwhenhedoesittoyourface,so..”Shetakesastepforwardandopensherpurse,takingoutawhiteenvelopeatthecornerofmydesk.“Ifyoushowup,great.”Shelooksatmeintheeyes.“Ifyoudon’t,I’llunderstand.”Shenodsatme,turns,andwalksoutofmyoffice.
Igetup,readytochaseafterher,butdon’twanttocauseasceneintheoffice.Iwalkoutoftheofficejustasshewalksaroundthecornerwithherheaddown.Shemakeseyecontactwithnoone,andeverythinginsidemeburns.Iwalkbacktomydeskandgrabtheenvelope,pullingitopen.
Abaseballticketslidesout,andIlaugh.Whenwewereincollegeandwantedtogetoutofourhead,weusedtobuyticketstothebaseballgamewherewewouldeathotdogsanddrinkbeeruntiltheveryend.Ourseatswereallthewayattheothersideofthestadiuminthenosebleedsection,andeverysingletime,shebroughtabaseballgloveincase.
“Wellplayed,Shelby.Wellplayed.”IshakemyheadandsitdownatmydeskChapter32
Shelby
Isitdownintheseat,watchingthebaseballgamethatstartedthirtyminutesago.Mylegbouncesupanddownastheminutestickby.MystomachrisesandfallseverysingletimeIthinkIseehimwalkingtome,butthenitturnsoutnottobehim.
Myhandsshakeasmyphonepings,andIlookdown,seeingit’smysisters.
Clarabella:Ishethereyet?
Me:No.
Presley:Whatareyougoingtodoifhedoesn’tshowup?
Iputthephonedown,notevenabletothinkaboutwhatI’lldoifhedoesn’tshowup.MyeyesarewatchingthegamewhileIreplaythescenethismorningoverandoverinmyhead.Helookedexhausted,andallIwantedwasforhimtotakemeinhisarmsandkissme.It’sbeenaweeksincehelastkissedme,andatnight,ifIclosemyeyestightenough,Icanstillfeelhislipsonmine.Ilefthisoffice,andIcouldbarelyseeinfrontofme.Myeyeswerefilledwithtears,andonlywhenIwasinthesafetyofmycardidIletthesobcomeout.Ispentthewholedaypacinginmyoffice,watchingtheminutesgoby,anditfeltlikehours.Whenitwasfinallytimetoleave,IchangedoutofmyofficeclothesandputonblacktightswithawhiteT-shirt.ExactlywhatIusedtowearwhenwewouldgowatchthegamestogether.Myjeanjacketisrolledupatthesleeveswithabaseballhatonmyhead.
Ilookatmywatchagainandseethatanotherthirtyminuteshavegoneby.Thepitofmystomachfallswhenanotherthirtyminutesgoby,andit’sprettyclearhe’snotshowingup.Iputmyheaddownasatearescapes,runningdownmycheek.Ifuckeditupsobad,IthinktomyselfwhenIwipethetearoffmycheekonlytohaveanotherescape.Ilookupandseethatthegameisliterallyalmostover.Thiswasstupid.Ipushedmyselfonhimtoomuch.Ishouldhavewaitedforhimtocometome.IregreteverysinglethingthatIdidthelasttwodays.Campingoutalmostathishousetocatchhim.Leavingonlytogotosleepandthenracingbackover.WhenIsawhimgetbackhome,Ialmostgotoutofmycarandranovertohim.Instead,wehadthisstupidplantowoohim,whichonlypushedhimfartheraway.
Ifeelsomeonesitnexttome,andIlookuptoseehim.“Isthisseattaken?”heasks,andIseethathe’swearingexactlywhatheusedtowear.Hisbluejeansandwhiteshirtwithabrownjacket.
“Thatdepends,”Isayasthetearsescapeme,andIlookathim,thesmilefillingmyface.
“On?”Hislegispressedagainstmine,andashiverrunsthroughmybody.Hetakesasecondtolookaround.“It’sreallyemptyuphere.”
Ilaughthroughthetearsnow.“Iboughtalltheseats,”Iinformhim.
Hewhipshisheadaroundtolookbackatme.“What?”
“Well,ifyouweren’tgoingtoshowup,Ineededtosulkinprivate,andthenifyoudidshowup,Iwantedtohaveanopenconversationwithoutpeoplelistening,”Istate,wonderinghowthisconversationwillactuallyplayout.“Tobehonest,Iwasthinkingyouweren’tgoingtoshowup.”Ilookdown.
“ItookanUberhere.”Hestartstotalk.“Andshegotrear-endedbythistruckwhogotrear-endedbyanother,anditwasaclusterfuckandadisaster.Shewascrying.Itwasherfirstday,andthenshehadtocallhermomtocomeandgether.”Heshakeshisheadandlaughs.“ButI’mhere.”
“Imissedyou,”Itellhim.
“Imissedyoumore,”hewhispers,puttinghisarmaroundmychair,andIturntofacehim.
“I’msorry,”Isaysoftly.
“Thereisnoreasonforyoutobesorry,”hesays,hishandcominguptocupmyface.“Ishouldhavegivenyoutimetothinkaboutthingsinsteadofjustdemandingthatwejumpintothewater.”Heshakeshishead.“AndthenIhadtoleaveforwork,andcomingback,allIwantedtodowasseeyouandtalktoyou,anditjust—”
“Ithurtyou,”Isayforhim.“Ihurtyou.”
“Ihurtyou,”hesayssoftly.“NotcomingafteryoutodaywasthehardestthingI’veeverdone.ThereisalreadygossipaboutSheila,andIjustdidn’twanttheextragossip.”Helooksdown.“Plus,Idon’tknowhowlongPGwouldhavelasted.”Ilaugh.
“IwenttoseeJoseph.”Iwanttomakesurethatheknowseverything.“AfterIleftyourhouse.”
“DoIwanttoknow?”heasksasIcanseehimswallow.
“Well,he’sstilladick.”Ilaughathim.“Andhe’sjealousofyou,”Idisclosetohim.
“Nosurprisethere,”hesays.“Idon’tcare.”Hecomesclosetome,andmyheartspeedsup.“Shelby,”hewhispers.“Ican’tdothisifwe’reasecret.”
“Iwouldn’twantyoutobeasecret,”Itellhim.“Notnow.Notever.Youdeservemore.”Ismileathim.
“Ideserveyou,”hetellsme.“Afterallthistime,Ideserveyou.”
Thecrowdstartstogocrazy,makinguslookup,andweseeourselvesonthescreenwithaheartaroundit.“It’sthekisscam,”Isay,smilingandputtingmyhandonhisleg.
Ilookupathim.“It’sabouttime,”hesays,turningandgrabbingmyfaceinhishands.“It’saboutfuckingtime.”Chapter33
Ace
Shelooksupatme,herblueeyesshiningexactlyliketheydidwhenwewereaway.“It’sabouttime.”Igrabherfaceinmine.“It’saboutfuckingtime.”
“What?”shewhispersoutonmylips,gettingcloserandclosertome.
“IpaidtheguytomakesureIgottokissyou.”Ishrugaspeoplechantkiss.
“Yes,please,”shesays,thesmileonherfacesofuckingbighereyeslightup.Myownsmilefillsmyface,andmychestthatfeltpressureforthepastweekfeelslikeIcanbreatheagain.Mylipsfinallylandonhers,andthestadiumerupts.ShelaughswhenIlethergoandthenturnbacktolookatthecameraandthrowmyhandsintheair.ShelaughsandshakesherheadbutnotbeforeItakeanotherkissfromher.Thistimemytongueslidesintohermouth,andwegetlostinthekiss.
“Doyouwanttogetoutofhere?”Ilookather,touchingherfacewithmyhand,andshenods.Igetupandholdoutmyhandforher.Sheputsherhandinmineasshegetsup,andinsteadoflettingitgo,shelinksherfingerswithmine.
Iletherleadthewaytohercar.Wezigzagthroughpeople,bothofuslookingateachotherfromtimetotimeandsmiling.Eachtimesheleansintome,untilIfinallyreleaseherhandandwrapanarmaroundhershoulders.Shelooksupatme,andIstoptokissherlipsassoonasIhearsomeonecallmyname.“Weston.”IlookoverandseeSheilastandingthereholdingabeerandahotdog.ShelooksatmeandthenlooksatShelby,thenhereyesgotothearmthatIhavearoundher.“Um,”shesays,notsure,andIlookdownatShelby,wholooksatmeandthenatSheila.
“I’mgoingtogotothebathroom,”Shelbysays,andeventhoughIdon’twanthertoleaveme,Iknowthatshe’sgivingmethechancetohaveaprivateconversationwithSheila.
Shesmilesupatme.Idon’twanttolethergo.Shetakesastepawayfromme,butIpullherbacktome.“Hurryback,”Iurgeandleandowntokissherlips.
Shenodsatmeandturnstowalktothebathroom.“Youtwoare..”Sheilastartstosay.Ilookather,puttingmyhandsinmypockets.“Thatwasfast.”
Ichuckle.“AtleastIwaiteduntilIwasn’tdatinganyonetotakethestep.”
Sheilajustshakesherhead.“Ineverwantedyoutofindout,”sheadmits,andIcan’tevenbelievethatI’mhavingthisconversationwithher.
“Itdoesn’tmatter,”Ifinallysaytoher.“Thefactisthatyoudidit.”Ishakemyhead.“Notthatitmatters,butwhy?”
“Healwaysgavemespecialattention.Hemademefeelwanted,”shefinallyreplies.“HemademefeellikeIwasnumberoneinhislife.”HereyesturntolooktowardwhereShelbywent.“Itwasnosecretwhowasnumberoneinyourlife.”
“No.”Ishakemyhead,andIdon’tevengiveherachance.“Iwaswithyou.Committedtoyouandonlyyou.”
“Ifuckedup,”shefinallysays.“Ifuckedupsobadthereisnootherwaytosayit.IfIcouldgoback,Iwoulddoitdifferently.”
“Well,youcan’tchangewhatyoudid.”IlookupandseeShelbywaitinginthedistance,givingmethetimeIneed.Icatchhereyeandmotionwithmyheadforhertocomeover.Shemakesherwayovertomeandshestandsnexttome,notknowingwhattosay.Ismiledownather,andIslipmyhandintohers.“Areyouready?”Iaskher,andthenshenodsandturnstolookatSheila.
“Ioweyouathank-you,”shesays.I’mshocked,andsoisSheila.“IthankedJosephalso.”Shewrapsherarmsaroundmywaist.“Ifyouguyshadn’tdonewhatyoudid,itwouldhavetakenuslongertogethere.”Shelooksatme.“Wewerealwaysgoingtobehere.”Irubherarm.“Alsonotthatitmatters,butdumb.”ShelooksupatmeandthenlooksatSheila.“Havingallthis.”Shesqueezesme.“ButthengoingtoJoseph.Ihopeyoutwowillbeveryhappy.”
“Itwasoverforawhile,”Sheilasays.”I’msorrythatIplayedapartinthat,andforthat,IwillforeverbesorryThatisn’tme.”
“Haveagreatnight,”ItellherandthenlookdownatShelby.“Readytogohome?”
“Yes,”shesays,andwhenwewalkawayfromSheila,shewaitsacoupleofminutesbeforespeaking.“Areyouokay?”
“HowdidyoufeelwhenyouconfrontedJoseph?”Iaskheraswestepoutofthestadiumandheadtowardtheparkinglot.
“Um,well,Iwaspissedatfirst,”shesays.“Butthatwasbecauseyouslammedthedoorinmyface.”Sheside-eyesme,glaring,andIliftherhandtomymouth,kissingher.“SoIwentingunsblazing.”IknowIshouldbeangrythatshehadtogothroughthat,butknowingher,shetotallywentinthereforthefightofherlife.“Itdidn’tsolveanything,nordiditgivemethesortofclosureIwaslookingfor.”Shestopswalking.“Whatitdiddowasshowmethathewasn’tworthmytime.”Thewindpicksup,andsheleansherheadback,andItakeoffthehatshehasonherhead.“ThatnomatterwhatIdid,Iwasn’ttheproblem.Hewas.”Shestepsintomenow,herhandsgoingtomyhips.“Ididgettocallhimaone-minutemanandtellhimhehasasmalldick.”Ithrowmyheadbackandlaugh.“Butotherthanthat,itwasjustawhatever.”Shekissesmyneck.“WhathappenedwithSheila?”
“Muchofthesame,”Itellher,pushingherhairawayfromherface.“Minustheone-minute-manandsmall-dickthing,butyougottheretoremindher.”
“Didseeingher..”Shetakesabigbreath,lookingdownandthenupagain.“Didseeingher..”Sheswallows.“Didyouchangeyourmind?”Shesmilesatme.“It’sokayifyoudid.I’dunderstand.”
“Theonlythingitdid,”Iassureher,stoppingherfromeventhinkinganything,“ismadeitevenclearerthatI’mwhereI’mmeanttobe.”
“Doesthismeanthatwecangoandhavemake-upsex?”Shegetsonhertippy-toesandrubshernosealongmyjaw.
“God,sexwithyouwasalreadyoffthecharts.Make-upsexisgoingtobe..”Istoptalkingbecausesheturnstograbmyhandandpullsme,makingmelaugh”Keys?”Isay,andshejusttossesthekeys,notgivingmeanylip,whichmakesmelookather.
“Ihavetodriveyoucrazywhileyoudrive,”shesays,smirkingatme,gettinginthecar.Igetinthecarandturntoher,andshe’salreadyshruggingoffherjacket.
“Ihavetodrive,”Itellhersternly.
“Thengettodriving.”Shemotionswithherhands.“Nooneisstoppingyou.”
“Ineedtofocus,”Iremindher,startingthecarandpullingoutoftheparkinglot.
“I’mnotdoinganything,”shesays,lookingaround.Thensheraisesherhips,andIseeherslidehertightsoff.
“Shelby,”Isaybetweenclenchedteeth.
“I’mnotdoinganything,”shehuffs,tossingthetightsbehindher.“I’mjustgoingtobereadyforyouwhenwegethome.”Sheturnsandlooksatme.“Rememberthatdaywhenitwascloudyoutside?”Ilookoverather.“Andwewentinthepool,butyousetmeattheledge.”Herkneebendsassheopensherlegs.“Pushedmybottomstothesideandatemypussy.”Igroanloud,holdingthesteeringwheelsotightImightbreakitoff.“Orthenightafterweatedinnerandwewenttositinthatswing.”Shementionsthewickerswingthatwastuckedaway.“Andyouunzippedyourpantsanduncoveredyourcock.”Hervoicegoeslow.“Islowlyslippedmydressupinthebackandthenrodeyou.”Herheadgoesback.“Thatwasgood.Orthetimeyoucouldn’twaittogetbacktotheroomsoyoucouldfuckmeinthemiddleofthedeck.”
“Rememberthatmorning,”Itellher,pullingintoherdriveway,“whenIateyourpussyforanhourandrefusedtoletyoucome.”Shejuststaresatme.“HowIwouldfuckyouwithmyfingersandfeelyougettingwetterandthenjuststop.”Ileanover,movinghershirtupandseeingherwhitepanties.Islipthemtothesideandslidetwofingersin.“RememberallthetimesIwouldtouchyourighthere.”ItouchherG-spot,andshemoans.“Andthenpullout.”Ipullmyfingersout,cleaningtheminmymouth.“OrthetimeinthebathroomwhenImadeyouwatchmefuckyou.Youwatchedyourpussyswallowmycock.”Shecloseshereyes.“Andrightwhenyoucame,Iwouldslipoutandslapyourclitwithmycock.”
“Ace,”shemoansmyname.“Ithinkyoudeserveformetoshowyou.”
“No,”shegroansasIopenthecardoorandlookather.
“Don’tmove,”Itellher,gettingoutofthecarandlookingaroundtomakesurenooneisoutoftheirhouse.Iopenhercardoor,takingoffmyjacket,butthelittlevixeniscompletelynaked.Iwhipmyjacketoffmeandputitaroundhershoulders.“Whatthefuck?”
“I’vebeenwithoutyouforaweek,”shesays,slippinghertongueintomymouthandthennippingmybottomlip.“Sowhenyougetmeinthehouse,Iwantyourcockout,andIwantitrammedintome.”Sheslideshertongueinmymouthagain,andthistime,Isuckitin.“Justlikeyoudidontheisland.Mylegsoveryourarms.”Herhandcomesoutassherubsmyhardcockthroughmyjeans.“Mypussyopenandyourcockslammingintome.”Sheunbuttonsme.“Andafteryoufinishfuckingme,Iwantyoutofinishinmymouth.”Iclosemyeyestotakeasecond.“Iwanttoswallowallofyou.”
“Holdthejacket,”Isay,anditfitsherbig,coveringeverything.
“Areyounotgoingtocarryme?”
“IfIcarryyou,I’mfuckingyouinthemiddleofthisfuckingdriveway,”Isayovermyshoulder,makingsureshe’scovered.
Iwalkupthestepstothefrontdoorwithherbehindme.Sheslidesherhandstothefrontofmypantsandslidesthezipperdown.Herhand’sinmyboxers,andIcan’tevenseethenumbersonthepinpad.“Fuck,he’sready,”shesays,andshewrapsherhandaroundthebaseofmycock.“Iwanttosuckyourcock,”shestates,andthedoorfinallyopens.IusherherinbeforeIstepinandclosethedoorbehindme.
Shepushesmeagainstthedoor.Myjacketgoesflying,butIdon’thavetimetothinkaboutanythingbecauseshe’sonherkneesswallowingmycock.“Fuck,”Ihissasshesucksmycock.“Onemoresecond,”Itellher,givingherawarningwhilemyhandgetslostinherhairandmyhipsmovetofuckhermouth.Imoveawayfromherwhenmyballsgettight,knowingI’mabouttocome.Shemoans,andIturnheraround,pushingherbackagainstthedoor.“Ireallywantedtotakemytimewithyou,”Isayasmyhandscomeupandpinchbothnipplesatthesametime.“Spreadyououtandfuckyouniceandslow.”Ipinchhernipplesagain,knowinghowmuchitturnsheron.Onehandslidesdowntoherpussyandslipsrightin.“Youreadyforme?”Iask,knowingsheisdrippingwet.Iwrapmyarmaroundherwaist,andherlegsopentowraparoundmywaist.Ipushherharderagainstthedoor,puttingmyhandsflatunderherassagainstthedoor.Herlegshangoveroneachside,herpussyopenforme.“Putmein,”Itellher,andshereachesbetweenusandguidesmycockintoher.BothofusmoanwhenIthrustballsdeepinsideher.
“Ace,”shemoansmyname.“Fuckme.”Shedoesn’thavetotellmeagainasmyhipspushherdeeperintothedoor.Thesoundofskin-on-skinslappingfillstheroomalongwithourmoans.“I’mgoingto..”Shewrapsherarmsaroundmyneckasshecomeswithmynameonherlips.“Ace.”
“Baby.”ImoanoutandI’mabouttocome.
“Inmymouth,”shesaysasshewigglesoffmeandfallstoherkneesinfrontofme.“Yes,”shesays,takingmeintohermouth.
“Baby,”Isayasmyhipsmovetofuckhermouth,andhereinthemiddleoftheentryway,Icomeinhermouth.SheswallowseverythingIhave,onlygettingupwhenI’mdone.“Shelby.”Isayhername,andshekissesundermychin.
“Nowyoucantakemeintotheroomandfuckmelikeyousaidbefore.”Shewalkspastme,andIwatchherwalkupthestairs,followingherwhereIfuckherexactlylikeIsaidIwould.Overandover,allnightlong,wecatchupontheweekwedidn’tseeeachother.
“Getout.”ShepushesmeoutoftheshowerafterImakehercomeonmyfingers.“Andgomakemesomethingtoeat.”
“Igotsomethingforyoutoeatrighthere.”Ipointdownatmycockthatisreadyforanotherround.
“Go,”shesays,closingtheshowerdooronme.“Food.”Igrabatowelanddrymyselfoffbeforewrappingitaroundmywaist.Igettothekitchen,anditfallstothefloor,soIputitovermyshoulder.”Areyoucookingmyfood?”sheyells,andIheartheshowerturnoff.
Ilaugh,turningandpullingthingsoutofthefridge.Iwalkovertothelivingroom,grabbingtheremoteandturningonthetelevision.MyeyesareonthetelevisionwhenIseethefrontdooropenoutofthecornerofmyeyes,andeverythinghappensinslowmotion.
“It’sfine,”Clarabellasays.Thenhereyesturntome,andsheyellsout,“OhmyGod!”
Sheturnsaround,smackingintoPresley,whostandstherewithanopenmouth.“OhmyGod.”Myhanddropstocovermycock.
“Damn,Ace,you’vebeenhittingthegymhard,”Presleycomments,lookingatmeupanddownlikeI’mapieceofmeat.I’mabouttoyellforShelbywhenIlookupandseeher.
“JesusChrist.”IhearShelbyfromthetopofthestairswithatowelwrappedaroundher,herwethairdrippingeverywhere.“Whatthehellareyoudoinghere?”
“Youdidn’tansweryourphone,”Clarabellasays,holdingherhandtoblockherselffromlookingmyway.“Wedidn’tknowifyouweredrowninginyoursorrows.”
“Shedefinitelyswallowedsomethinglastnight,”Presleyteases,smirkingatme.“Fromthelooksofit”—shelooksatClarabella—”itwasbig,”shewhispersbutinaloudtone.
“Whyareyounaked?”Shelbylooksatme.“Whathappenedtoyourtowel?”
“Itfelloff,soIthrewitovermyshoulder,”Isay.“CaneveryoneturnaroundsoIcancovermyself?”
Presleyjustrollshereyes.“We’vealreadyseenthefamilyjewels,”shereplies,turningaround.Clarabellahadalreadyturnedaround.Igrabthetowelfromthefloorandwrapitaroundmyself.
“I’mgoingtogo,”Isay,walkingtothestairsandstoppinginfrontofShelby.“Maybenexttimeyoucanputasockonthedoorsotheyknow.”
“I’mchangingthecode,”shetellsme,smilingatme.“Loveyou,”shesays,andClarabellaandPresleygaspandlookoveratus.“Ididn’t.”Shestartstostutter.“It’slikeafriendlyIloveyou.Likeyouknow,loveyou.”Sheputsherhandonherforehead.
“Smooth,”Clarabellasays.
“ItoldthemilkmanIlovedhimtoday,”Presleydeadpans.“AndthentheAmazondeliveryguygotthere,andIwaslikethankyou,Iloveyou.Happensallthetime.”Shemotionswithherhandlikeit’snothing.
“Loveyou,too,”Iwhisper,leaningdownandkissingherlips.“Andnotinafriendlyway.”Hereyeslightupevenbrighter.“Nowgetridofyoursisters.”
“Wearerighthere,”Clarabellaremindsme,huffing.
“Webroughtfood,”Presleybribes,“butweleftitinthecar.”
“Weneedfood,”Shelbysaystous.“Goputclotheson.”Shemotionswithherhead.
“Ifyouneedhisjeansandboxers,”Clarabellasays.“Theyareoverthere.”Shepointswithherfinger.
“I’llgetit,”Shelbystates.“Yougotomyroom.”
Inodatherandwalktoherbedroom,stillhearingtheirconversation.“Whydoesthewholehousesmelllikesex?”Clarabellaasks.“Thisiswhatabrothelmustsmelllike.”
“I’mnoteatinganywhereinthishouse,”Presleygripes.“Hisballscouldhaveliterallytouchedeverysurfaceinthishouse,andI’mnotgoingtoeatthere.No,thankyou.”
Isitonthebedandwaitforhertocomeback.“I’msosorry,”shesays,comingintotheroomwithmyjeanspressedtoherchest,holdingupthetowel.
“Comehere,”Itellher,andshecomesovertomeandstandsbetweenmylegs.Myhandsgotoherhips.“ImeantwhatIsaid,”Iassureher,andshesmilesdownatme,puttingherhandsonmyface.
“Theyjustleft,”shejokeswithmeasshelaughs.
“Veryfunny,”Isay,pullinghertomeasthetowelfallsoffher,andshestraddlesme.“Iloveyou,Shelby.”Truerwordshaveneverbeenspokenbefore.“Forreal.”
“Youdon’thavetosay—”Iputmyhanduptoblockherfromtalking.
“Justkissme,”Isay,andshedoesexactlywhatIaskedhertodo.EpilogueOne
Threemonthslater
Shelby
Walkingintotherestaurant,IlookaroundforAce,spottingacoupleofhisco-workersandhisassistant,Tania.“Hi,”IsaywhenIgetclosertoherandablondwomanI’veseenacoupleoftimesaround.Theyjustclosedabigdealandaregettingtogethertocelebrate.Ihadenoughtimetogohomeandchangebeforecominghere.
“Shelby,right?”Shepointsatme,andIsmileather.“Ace’sbestfriend.”
“Um,yeah,”Isay,notcorrectingherbecause,well,I’mnotsurethatIneedto.“Thatwouldbeme.”
“Ishearound?”Ilookaroundtheroom,notseeinghimanywhere.
“Oh,hewasrighthere,”Taniasays.“I’llgogethim.”ShenodsatmeandwalksawaywhileaservercomesbyandasksifIwouldlikesomethingtodrink.
“I’llhaveawhitewine,”Itelltheserver,whothenwalksaway.
“So,tellme,”thewomansays,andIdon’tevenrememberhername.“What’sitlikebeingAce’sbestfriend?”
Ican’thelpthesmilethatfillsmyface.“It’sprettymuchthebest,”Iconfirm.Thingswhenwewerefriendswereoutofthisworld,butnowthatwearemore,itjustcementsourrelationship.Bothofusaremorethanokaytotelltheotherifsomethingbothersus.
“Well,I’mnotgoingtolie.”Shelooksaround.“Iwouldlovetogethiminbed.”Shelaughs.“Ieventhrewmyselfathimacoupleofmonthsago.”Iswallowthelumpinmythroat,myfaceneverchanging.“Iwouldridehimsohard.”
“Hi.”IhearAceapproachingus.Ilookoveratthegirl,seeingherpressherboobstogether,andIalmostlaughoutloud.He’swearingabluesuitwithawhitebutton-downlong-sleeveshirt.Thetoptwobuttonsareopen.“Taniasaidyouwerehere.”Heslipshisarmaroundmywaistandbendstokissmylips.“Wereyouherelong?”
“Excuseme,”theblondesays,duckingherheadandleaving.
“WhatdidImiss?”heasks,hishandneverleavingfrommywaist.
“Shewasjusttellingmehowshetriedtolureyouintobedacoupleofmonthsago,”Isaywithoutskippingabeat,andherollshiseyes.“Isthatayesorano?”
“It’sanitwouldhaveneverhappened,”hesays,andIjusttiltmyheadtotheside.“One,Iwasalreadywrappedupinyou,andtwo”—heleansdown—”allIwantedwasyou.”Hekissesmycheeksoftly.
“Greatcover,”Isay,puttingmyhandonhischest.Thepastthreemonthshavebeenhandsdownthehappiestofmylife.Everynightwemakedinnersidebyside,orweorderout.Butregardless,wedoittogether.EverysingledayIwakeupwithhimbesideme.Nomatterwhatwedoduringthedayorhowlateourdaysgo,wegotobedtogetherunlesshe’straveling.EvenwhenIworkSaturdayandSunday,heshowsuptohaveasnackwithmeorjusttobewithme.
“Notacover,”hesays,kissingmylips”Nicedress.”Helooksdownatmyblush-pinktightskirtwithasleevelesssilktopthatistuckedin.“Ilovewhenyouwearaskirt.”
“Oh,Iknow,”Ireply,nottellinghimthatIworeitonpurposebecausehelikestofuckmeagainstthedoorassoonaswegetintothehouse.“Ihavethedoorknobbruiseonmyass.”
“Areyouofftomorrow?”heasks,andIlookoverathim,nodding.
“Finally,adayoff,”Igroan,mywholebodywaitingforthedaytosleepin.
“Weshouldhitupthebaseballgame,”hementions,andallIcandoissmile.Wegotothebaseballgamewheneverwecan.
“Thatsoundsamazing.”Ileanoverandkisshisneck.Thatnightwhenwewalkoutoftherestaurant,it’swithhishandinmine,andwhenhetakesmehome,thereisnomistakingwhohewantstocomehomewith.
Wewalkin,goingstraightfortheseatswealwaysget.Thistime,thereisn’tanyoneuphere.“Lookslikeit’sjustus.”Isitdownintheseat.
“It’sstillearly,”hesays,sittingnexttome.Fiveinningsgoby,andIlookoverathim,seeingthathislegisbouncing.“What’swrongwithyou?”Iask,andhejustlooksatme.
“DoyouknowthatIthinkIfellinlovewithyouwhenwewenttoourfirstbaseballgame?”Heturnstolookatme,andIjustlaugh.Hetakesmyhandinhis.“You’remybestfriend,”hesayssoftly,bringingmyhandtohismouth,andallIcandoislookathim,myeyebrowspullingtogethernow.“Everysingleday,Ilookover,andI’minawethatIgettocallyoumine.”Whenhegetsup,Ihearpeopleclappingallaroundus,andIdon’tknowwhatisgoingon.IlookoverattheJumbotronandseeAceandmewithaheartaroundus.
“Ace.”Isayhisname,turningbacktoseehimonhiskneeinfrontofme.“Whatareyoudoing?”Myheartspeedsupinmychest,andmyhandsstarttoshake.
“We’vebeentogetherforonlythreemonths,”hesays.“Butdeepinmyheart,Iknowitcanbethirtyyears,andI’llstillfeelthesameway.Everysingletimeyouwalkintheroom,myheartspeedsup.Everysingletimeyoutouchme,mybodyfeelsasenseofpeace.Everysingletimeyoukissme,IknowthatIwanttospendtherestofmylifegettingkissedbyyou.”
Thetearsstreamdownmyface.“OhmyGod,”Isay,puttingmyhandstomymouth.“Areyousure?”
“Neverwantedanythingmorethantomakeyoumineforever,”hesays,andhereinthemiddleofabaseballgame,Inodmyheadandlungeforhim.
“Yes,”Iagree,buryingmyfaceinhisneck.
“Shesaidyes!”heshouts,andIlookaround,seeingeveryonecomingtowardus.Myfamily,hisfamily.
“OhmyGod,”Isay,puttingmyhandtomymouth.“Youdidallthis?”
“Well,Ididhavehelp,”hesays,andIkisshislips.“CanIgiveyouthering?”
“Idon’tneedaring,”Itellhim.
“She’slying,”Clarabellasaysfrombehindhim.“Shewantsthering.”Shelooksatme.“Youwantthatring.”
HeopenstheblackboxandthereinthemiddlesitstheringIhadonmyvisionboardwhenIwasthirteen.Therounddiamondinthemiddlewiththeinfinitysignsatthesideallfilledwithdiamonds.“Youremembered,”Itellhim.
“Ineverforgot.”Heslidestheringonmyfinger.“You’vealwaysbeenmine.”EpilogueTwo
Sixmonthslater
Ace
“Thiswholethingisdumb,”IhearShelbysayfromtheinsideofthebridalsuite.Ican’thelpbutlaugh.“He’srightoutside.”
“It’sbadlucktoseethegroombeforethewedding.”Ihearhermomtrytoreasonwithher.
“Well,Iplayedbytherulesthelasttimeandlookatwhathappenedatthatwedding,”shehuffs.“Moveoutoftheway.”
“Wait!”Clarabellayells.“Atleastlet’sdoafirstlook.”
“Youhavethreeminutestosetitup,”Shelbysaystothem,andthenIhearhercallme.“Ace.”Icanhearthesoundofrushingaroundgoingonbehindthedoor.
“Yeah,baby,”Isay,puttingmyhandsinthepocketsofmysuitpantsbeforeIfuckeverythingupandjustopenthedoor.
“Ineedyoutocounttoonehundredandeighty.”Iputmyheaddownandsilentlychuckle”Andthenburstthroughthisdoor.”
“Ifyoubreakthatdoor,”Presleywarns,showingupfromtheotherside.“I’mchargingyouguystriple.”Sheshakesherhead.“She’sbeingunreasonable.”Shepointsatthedoor.
“Iamnot!”Shelbyyellsfromtheothersideofthedoor.“Howmanyseconds?”
Presleylooksatmeandrollsherlips,waitingformetoanswer.“Onehundredfifty.”
“Onefifty!”sheyellsfromhersideofthedoor,andIseethephotographerrushingthroughthehallwayandoutthebackdoor.
“Canyoustepawayfromthedoor?”Clarabellashouts.“FortheloveofGod,comesetyourselfupsoIcanopenthedoor.”
“Fine,”shehuffs.“Butyoubetterhurry.”
“Theminuteshegotinherdress,shewaslike,I’mreadynow.”Presleyshakesherhead.
“ShewasreadythismorningwhenIsnuckoutoftheroom.”IlookoveratPresley,whoglaresatme.
“Youguysaretheworst.”Sheshakesherhead,andIshrug.IfitwasuptoShelby,shewantedtoelopeandnottellanyone.Ididn’tcarewhatwedidaslongasIslippedthatbandonherfinger.Wecouldhavedonethisinthemiddleofatropicalstormwearingsnowsuits.“Isitready?”Presleyknocksonthedoor,andItakeinherdress,whichisverydifferentthanthefirsttime.Everythingisdifferentsincetheonlythingwesaidmatteredwasthattherewastobenowhite.Nowhiteflowers,nowhitedecorations,nowhitenapkins.Thedeepredcolorinherdressmatchesthecolorofmybowtie.Mysuitisamidnightblue,somethingthatShelbymentionedshelovesmein.
“We’reready.”IhearClarabella,andthenPresleylooksatme.
“Areyouready?”sheaskswithasmirkonherface.“Shelooks—”
“Shelooksbeautiful.”Ifinishthesentenceforher.“Justlikeshedoeseveryday.”
“Okay,youcanstopwithallthatromanceshit.IalreadyfeellikeI’mgoingtothrowup.”Sheputsahandtoherstomach,andItakeadeepinhalewhensheopensthedoor.
Istepin,notseeinganythingbutthedecorationsthattheyhaveintheroom.Goneareallthewhitethings,andintheirplaceisaredcouchandfourhugepeachandredrosebouquetsfilltheroom.“Standthere.”Presleypointsatthemiddleoftheroom.“Andturnfacingthedoor.”IdoasI’mtold,andthenIhearClarabellatellShelbyshecancomeinnow.
Thephotographerisinfrontofme,andmypalmsgetsuddenlywetasthenervessetin.NotbecauseI’mscaredbutbecauseIcan’twaittotouchher.Icanheartheclickofherheelsasshewalksintheroom,andIbracemyselfwhenIfeelherbehindme.“Don’tturnaroundjustyet,”shesaysinasoftvoice,andherhandmovesdownmyback.Sheslipsherarmaroundmywaist,andIlookdowntoseethecolorofherdressfinally.Asoftpeachlacewitharedsasharoundherwaist.Iputmyhandonhersassheleansherforeheadonmyback.“Iloveyou,”shesays,andIcantellfromhertonesheiscrying.“I’mscared,”shesaysinawhisper.
“CanIturnaroundnow?”MyheartisbeatingsohardinmychestIlookupatClarabella,whowipesthetearsfromhereyes,andshenodsatme
Iturnaround,myeyesgoingstraighttohers,andallIcandoissmileather.“Hi,”Igreetsoftlyasshesmilesatme.Ilookdownather,andIknowinmyheartthisisonememorythatwedon’tneedpicturesforbecauseIwillrememberitforever.Herdressmoldstoherbody.It’slaceallthewaydowntoherfeet.Thelightbeigeunderneathmakesthepeachjuststickout.Ileaninandkissthetopsofherbareshoulders.“You’restunning,”Isayasshedoesaslowcircle,andIseethatherbackisbare,thelacemoldingtothesidesofherinaVallthewaytothelittlezipperIknowI’llbepullingdownsoonerthanlater.Igrabherfaceinmyhandsandkissherlipssoftly,theclickingofthecamerafillingtheroom.
“Now,doyoufeelbetter?”Clarabellaasks,andShelbyjustflipsherthebird.“Ihopeyoucaughtthatoncamera.”
“It’sgoingtobemynewscreensaver,”Presleysays.“Whydon’twegivethemaminute?”Everyonewalksoutoftheroom,leavingjustthetwoofus.
“Youlooksohandsome,”shedeclares,lookingupatme,andIgrabherhand,pullinghertothecouchwhereIsitdown.Shewalksintothemiddleofmylegsandsitsononeofthemwhilesheputsherarmaroundmyshoulder.
“Whyareyouscared?”Iask,andshejustshrugshershoulders.
“It’sprobablyPTSD,”shesayswithasadsmile.
“Hey.”Iputmyhandunderherchin.“It’syouandme.”
“Idon’twanttowalkdowntheaisletoyou,”shefinallysays.
“Sowedon’tdoit.”It’sano-brainertome.
“Willyouwalkwithme?”Shelooksatme,andIjustsmile.
“Iwillwalkanywherewithyou,”Iconfirm,andshekissesmeonemoretimebeforestanding.
“Good,let’sgetmarried,”shetellsme,andallIcandoissmilesobigthatmycheekshurt.Wewalkoutoftheroom,andshelooksathersisters.Myarmwrapsaroundherwaist.
“We’rewalkingdowntheaisletogether,”shestateswithatonethatmakesitfinal.
Wegetintoplacebehindthetwowoodendoors,andIlookoveratherasshecarriesherbouquetinonehand.It’sfilledwithburgundyflowersandpeachroses,greenleavesstickingoutofiteverywhere.Sheslipsherarmaroundmyelbowandsmilesupatme.“YouknowthattheminuteIputthisdresson,Iknewitwastheone.”Tearsforminhereyes.“IsawmyselftodaydancingwithyouinthisdressfromtheminuteIputiton.”Ilookoverather,andthelovethatIfeltforherbeforewasnothinglikewhatIfeelforherrightatthismoment
“Iloveyou.”That’stheonlythingIcansay.“It’slikethispressureonmychestfromfeelingsomuch.”Ileandownandkisshersoftlips.“Now,canwegetthisoverwithandmakeyoumine?”
Thedoorsopen,andthesongstartstoplay.“Neverletmego,”shesaysfrombesideme,andallIcandoislaughather.
“I’llholdyouforever.”Ikissheronemoretimebeforetakingastep.“Youareforeverminetohold.”
DearestLove,
Anotherweddingseasonisbehindus.OurveryownShelbyfinallytiedtheknot.Shelookedstunning.SheandAcewerealwaysmeanttobe.
ItlookslikeCupidisaiminghisbowatClarabellasomuchsothatherboyfriendsurprisesusallbyproposingatherthirtiethbirthdaypartyinfrontofahundredpeople.
Lookslikesheisthenextonetowalkdowntheaisle,orisshe?Itseemsasoftknockonthedoorisholdinganeight-poundlittlesecret,whichI’msurethegroomdoesn’twantustofindoutabout.
XOXO
NM
MineToCherish
Clarabella
DidIwanttogetmarriedtoday?
It’shardtosaywhenheproposedinfrontofoverahundredpeople.
Everythinghappenedsofast,andIthoughtitwasjustnerves.
Itwasnot.
TheknockonthedoorshowedmethatwhatIwasfeelingwasmorethanjustcoldfeet.
Iwasarunawaybride.
Luke
Thewholetownwasbusyattendingherwedding.
ShewastheoneIletgetawaywhenItoldherournighttogetherwasamistakeandthenlefttown.
SoIplannedtospendtheweekendgettingdrunk.
Whensheranoutofthechurchlookingforahideout,Iopenedthecardoorforher.
Mycabinhasonebed,andmylonginglooksdon’tmixwell.
Somehow,Ihavetokeepmyheartintactandherreputationtogether.
Maybeshewasjustminetocherish.BooksByNatashaMadison
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