PraiseforSlavetoSensation
“ILOVEthisbook!It’samustreadforallofmyfans.”
—ChristineFeehan
“Anelectrifyingcollisionoflogicandemotion…anincredibleworldwherefireandicemixtocreateanunforgettablesensualeruption.SlavetoSensationisavolcanicstarttoanewseriesthat’llleaveyoucravingmore.”
—RomanceJunkies
“AWESOME!…Apurelymesmerizingbookthatsurelystandsoutamongtheotherparanormalbooksoutthere.SlavetoSensationiscaptivatingfrombeginningtoend.It’samustreadforanyparanormalfan!”
—RomanceReaderatHeart
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“Youwon’twanttomissSlavetoSensation,thetremendousfirstbookinthenewPsyseriesbyNaliniSingh…Ihighlyrecommendthisbookandsuggestyoumakeroomforitonyourkeepershelf.”
—RomanceReviewsToday
“Asensualromancesetinanalternate-realityAmericawithjustabitofmysterytokeepreadersflippingpages.Character-drivenandwell-written,it’snoteasytoputdownatbedtime;itkeptmereadingwellintothenight.”
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“Amustevenforthoseuninitiatedintheparanormalgenre.Thestoryendsmuchtooquickly,andtheauthor’smagicalwritingconjuresupsensualimagesandintenseemotionsthatlingerlongafterthelastwordisread.”
—RomanticTimesBerkleySensationtitlesbyNaliniSingh
SLAVETOSENSATION
VISIONSOFHEAT
CARESSEDBYICECaressedbyIceNALINISINGH
BERKLEYSENSATION,NEWYORKTHEBERKLEYPUBLISHINGGROUPPublishedbythePenguinGroupPenguinGroup(USA)Inc.375HudsonStreet,NewYork,NewYork10014,USAPenguinGroup(Canada),90EglintonAvenueEast,Suite700,Toronto,OntarioM4P2Y3,Canada(adivisionofPearsonPenguinCanadaInc.)PenguinBooksLtd.,80Strand,LondonWC2R0RL,EnglandPenguinGroupIreland,25St.Stephen’sGreen,Dublin2,Ireland(adivisionofPenguinBooksLtd.)PenguinGroup(Australia),250CamberwellRoad,Camberwell,Victoria3124,Australia(adivisionofPearsonAustraliaGroupPty.Ltd.)PenguinBooksIndiaPvt.Ltd.,11CommunityCentre,PanchsheelPark,NewDelhi—110017,IndiaPenguinGroup(NZ),67ApolloDrive,Rosedale,NorthShore0745,Auckland,NewZealand(adivisionofPearsonNewZealandLtd.)PenguinBooks(SouthAfrica)(Pty.)Ltd.,24SturdeeAvenue,Rosebank,Johannesburg2196,SouthAfrica
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Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentseitheraretheproductoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,businessestablishments,events,orlocalesisentirelycoincidental.Thepublisherdoesnothaveanycontroloveranddoesnotassumeanyresponsibilityforauthororthird-partywebsitesortheircontent.
CARESSEDBYICE
ABerkleySensationBook/publishedbyarrangementwiththeauthor
Copyright?2007byNaliniSingh.ExcerptfromMinetoPossesscopyright?2007byNaliniSingh.CoverartbyPhilHeffernan.
HandletteringbyRonZinn.
Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybereproduced,scanned,ordistributedinanyprintedorelectronicformwithoutpermission.Pleasedonotparticipateinorencouragepiracyofcopyrightedmaterialsinviolationoftheauthor’srights.Purchaseonlyauthorizededitions.Forinformation,address:TheBerkleyPublishingGroup,adivisionofPenguinGroup(USA)Inc.,375HudsonStreet,NewYork,NewYork10014.
ISBN:1-4295-4626-3
BERKLEYSENSATION?BerkleySensationBooksarepublishedbyTheBerkleyPublishingGroup,adivisionofPenguinGroup(USA)Inc.,375HudsonStreet,NewYork,NewYork10014.BERKLEYSENSATIONandthe“B”designaretrademarksbelongingtoPenguinGroup(USA)Inc.ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Writingisasolitarybusinessbutit’snotalonelyone,especiallynotwhenyou’resurroundedbyasmanywonderfulpeopleasIam.
Athome:Myfamily,theoneswhohavetoputupwithmysingle-mindedfocuswhenI’mworkingandwhodoitinsuchstyle.Thanksfornotmakingmecookorclean…orvacuum…ordothelaundry…Iloveyouguys!
OnaCaliforniabeachsippingamargarita(well,shemightbeifshedidn’thaveobsessive-compulsiveclients):NepheleTempest,myagentandthefirstpersontotellmeshelovedmyPsy/Changelingworld.Thanksforbeingsuchagreatadvocateformywork.Ifweevermanagetomeetinperson,themargaritasareonme!
Atmypublisher:CindyHwang,mybrillianteditorandsomeonewhogivesmethefreedomtofollowmyimaginationwhereverittakesme;LeisPederson,superefficienteditorialassistant(andsomeonewhoisprobablysickofhearingmyvoiceafterthosemarathoneditingsessionoverthephone!);andtheSensationalbehind-the-scenesteam.Ahugethank-youforeverythingyou’vedonesincetheveryfirstbookinthePsy/Changelingseries.
Inunknownlocations:Allthebooksellers,readers,reviewers,librarians,andbloggerswhohavesupportedmybookstodate.IfItriedtolistyouall,I’drunoutofroom,which,Ithink,isanamazing,humblingthing.Thankyou.
OutsidethedoordemandingIcomeoutorthey’regoingtodragmeout:Myfriends,whoputupwithmyhermitliketendencieswithoutcrossingmeofftheirinvitationlists.Youknowwhoyouare.Ifeelblessedtohaveyouinmylife.Andinsidemyhead:Mycharacters,wholetmetelltheirstories.Thankyou.ARROWS
Mercurywasacult.Thatwaswhateveryonesaidatthestart.ThePsylaughedatCatherineandArifAdelaja’sclaimsofbeingabletofreetheirpeoplefrominsanityandmurderousfury.
TobePsywastocourttheedgesofmadness.
Itwasaccepted.Itwasaccepted.
Therewasnocure.
ButthenMercuryproducedtwograduatesoftheirearlyversionoftheSilenceProtocol—theAdelajas’owntwinsons.TendajiandNaeemAdelajawereascoolasice,theiremotionsholdingnothingofangerormadness…forawhile.Theexperimenteventuallyfailed.ThedarksideofemotionrushedbackintotheAdelajatwinsinanavalanche,and,sixteenyearsafterbeingheraldedastheharbingersofanewfuture,theycommittedsuicide.Tendaji,thestrongone,killedNaeemthenhimself.Therewasnodoubtthatithadbeenamutualdecision.
Theyleftanote.
Weareanabomination,aplaguethatwillkillourpeoplefromwithin.Silencemustnevertakeroot,mustneverinfiltratethePsyNet.Forgiveus
Theirwordswereneverheard,theirterrorneverunderstood.FoundbyacolytesofMercury,theywereburiedinahiddengrave,theirdeathstermedanaccident.Bythen,Mercuryhadbeguntrainingasecondgeneration,improvingtheirtechnique,refiningthetoolswithwhichtoexciseunwantedemotionfromtheheartandmadnessfromthesoul.Themostimportantchangewasthequietest—thistime,theyhadthecautioussupportoftheleadersoftheirpeople,thePsyCouncil.
Buttheyalsoneededsupportofanotherkind,thekindthatwouldcatchanyotherlapsesandmistakesbeforetheymadeittothepublicdomain…andtotheearsofthestill-skepticalCouncil.IftheCouncilorshadfoundoutaboutthecontinuingdeaths,theywouldhavepulledback.AndtheAdelajascouldnotbearthethoughtoftheirvisionbeingconsignedtothetrashheapofhistory.Because,thoughshatteredbythedeathsoftheirtwinsons,CatherineandArifneverlostfaithinSilence.Neitherdidtheireldestson—Zaid.
Zaidwasacardinaltelepathwithafuriousabilityinmentalcombat.He,too,hadtrainedunderSilence,butasayoungadult,notachild.Still,hebelieved.TheProtocolhadgivenhimpeacefromthedemonsofhismindandhewantedtospreadthatgiftofpeace,toquietthetormentofhispeople.Sohebegancleaningupthemistakes,wipingawaythosewhobrokeundertheexperimentalversionsofSilence,buryingtheirlivesasefficientlyasheburiedtheirbodies.
CatherinecalledhimherMartialArrow.
Soon,Zaidrecruitedotherslikehim.Otherswhobelieved.Theywereloners,unknownshadows,darkerthanthedarkness,menandwomenwhosesoleaimwastoeliminateanythingthatmightthreatenthesuccessfulrealizationofCatherineandArif’slifelongdream.
Timepassed.Years.Decades.ZaidAdelajawaswashedfromthisEarth,butthetorchoftheArrowscontinuedtobehandedfromoneacolytetothenext…untiltherewasnomoreMercuryandthelong-deadAdelajaswerebeinghailedasvisionaries.
TheSilenceProtocolwasimplementedintheyear1979.
ThePsyCouncilwasunanimousinitsvote,themassesdivided,butthemajorityinfavor.Theirpeoplewerekillingeachotherandthemselveswithrageandinhumanityunseeninanyoftheotherraces.Silenceseemedtheironlyhope,theironlysolutionforalastingpeace.ButwouldtheyhavetakenthatstephadtheyreadTendajiandNaeem’slastwords?Thereisnooneleftwhocananswerthatquestion.
Asnoonecananswerwhyaprotocolmeanttobringpeacealsobroughtwithitthecoldest,mostdangerouskindofviolence—rumorsoftheArrowSquadspawnedontheheelsoftheimplementationprocess,fedbythefearofmindsgoingunderSilence.Itwassaidthatthosewhoprotestedtoohardhadahabitofsimplydisappearing.
Now,inthefinalmonthsoftheyear2079,theArrowsareamyth,alegend,theirexistenceornonexistencedebatedendlesslyinthePsyNet.Tothenaysayers,thepost-SilencePsyCouncilisaperfectcreation,onethatwouldneverdoanythingasunderhandedascreateasecretsquadtotakecareofitsenemies.
Butothersknowdifferently.
OthershaveseenthedarkstreaksofhighlymartialmindsshootingthroughtheNet,feltthecoldchilloftheirpsychicblades.Butofcourse,theseotherscannotspeak.ThosewhocomeintocontactwiththeArrowSquadrarelylivetotellthetale.
TheArrowsthemselvesdonotheedtherumors,donotconsidertheirsecretarmyadeathsquad.No,theyhaveremainedtruetotheirfoundingfather.TheironlyloyaltyistotheSilenceProtocolandtheyarededicatedtoitscontinuance.
Executionsaresometimesunavoidable.CHAPTER1
AfistcrashedintoJudd’scheekbone.Focusedoneliminatinghisopponentfromthefield,hebarelynoticedtheimpact,hisownfistalreadyswingingout.Taitriedtoevadetheblowatthelastsecondbutitwastoolate—theyoungwolf’sjawslammedtogetherwithathicksoundthatspokeofdamageontheinside.
Buthewasn’tdown.
Baringteethstainedredfromacutonhistoplip,herushedatJudd,clearlyaimingtousehisheavierbuildasabatteringramtosmashhisadversaryintothehardstonewall.InsteaditwasTaiwhoendedupwithhisbackslammedagainstthestone,hismouthfallingopenasairpunchedoutofhislungsinanuncontrollableblast.
Juddgrippedtheothermalebythethroat.“Killingyouwouldmeannothingtome,”hesaid,tighteninghisholduntilTaihadtobehavingtroublebreathing.“Wouldyouliketodie?”Histonewascalm,hisbreathingmodulated.Itwasastateofbeingthathadnothingtodowithfeeling,becauseunlikethechangelingacrossfromhim,JuddLaurendidnotfeel.
Tai’slipsshapedintoacurse,butallthatmaterializedwasanincomprehensiblewheezingsound.ToacasualobserveritwouldhaveseemedthatJuddhadgainedtheadvantage,buthedidn’tmakethemistakeofloweringhisguard.SolongasTaihadn’tconcededdefeat,heremaineddangerous.Theothermaleprovedthatasecondlaterbyusingthechangelingabilitytosemishift—slicinguphandsturnedtoclaws.
Thosesharptalonscutthroughleather-synthandfleshwithouteffort,butJudddidn’tgivetheboyachancetocausehimanyrealinjury.PressingdownonaveryspecificpressurepointinTai’sneck,heslammedhiserstwhileopponentintounconsciousness.Onlywhenthechangelingwascompletelyoutdidhereleasehishold.Taislumpeddownintoaseatedposition,headhangingoverhischest.
“You’renotsupposedtousePsypowers,”ahuskyfemalevoicesaidfromthedoorway.
Hehadnoneedtoturntoidentifyherbutdidsoanyway.Extraordinarybrowneyesinafine-bonedfacetoppedbyachoppilycutcapofblondehair.Thoseeyeshadbeennormalandthathairhadn’tbeenshortbeforeBrennahadbeenabducted.Byakiller.ByaPsy.
“Idon’tneedtousemyabilitiestodealwithlittleboys.”
Brennawalkedtostandbesidehim,herheadjustreachinghisbreastbone.Hehadneverrealizedhowsmallshewasuntilhe’dseenheraftertherescue.Lyinginthatbed,scarcelybreathing,herenergyhadbeencontractedintoaballsotight,hehadn’tbeensureshewasstillalive.Buthersizemeantnothing.BrennaShaneKincaid,hehadlearned,hadawillofpure,undilutediron.
“That’sthefourthtimethisweekyou’vebeeninafight.”Herhandroseandhehadtostophimselffromjerkingaway.Touchwasachangelingthing—thewolvesindulgedinitconstantlyandwithoutthought.ForaPsyitwasanalienconcept,somethingthatcouldultimatelyfosteradangerouslossofcontrol.ButBrennahadbeenbrokenbyanevilspawnedofhisownrace.Ifsheneededtouch,sobeit.
Faintimprintsofheatonhischeek.“You’llhaveabruise.Comeon,letmeputsomethingonit.”
“Whyaren’tyouwithSascha?”AnotherrenegadePsy,butahealernotakiller.Juddwastheonewhohadbloodonhishands.“Ithoughtyouhadasessionwithherateightp.m.”Itwasnowfivepastthehour.
Thosestrokingfingersslidtolingeronhisjawbeforedroppingoff.Herlasheslifted.Andrevealedthechangethathadtakenholdfivedaysafterherrescue.Eyesthathadoncebeendarkbrownwerenowamixhe’dneverseenonanysentientbeing—human,changeling,orPsy.Brenna’spupilswerepureblack,butsurroundingthosedotsofnightwereburstsofarcticblue,vividandspiking.Theyjaggedoutintothedarkbrownoftheiris,givinghereyesashatteredlook.
“It’sover,”shesaid.
“Whatis?”HeheardTaimoanbutignoredit.Theboywasnothreat—theonlyreasonJuddhadallowedhimtolandanyofhispuncheswasbecauseheunderstoodthewaywolfsocietyworked.Beingbeateninafightwasbad,butnotasbadasbeingbeatenwithoutputtingupasolidresistance.
Tai’sfeelingsmadenodifferencetoJudd.Hehadnointentionofassimilatingintothechangelingworld.Buthisnieceandnephew,MarleeandToby,alsohadtosurviveinthenetworkofundergroundtunnelsthatwastheSnowDancerden,andhisenemiesmightbecometheirs.Sohehadn’thumiliatedtheboybyendingthefightbeforeitbegan.
“Ishegoingtobealright?”Brennaasked,whenTaimoanedasecondtime.
“Givehimaminuteortwo.”
Glancingbackathim,shesuckedinabreath.“You’rebleeding!”
Hesteppedawaybeforeshecouldtouchhisshreddedforearms.“It’snothingserious.”Anditwasn’t.Asachildhehadbeensubjectedtothemostexcruciatingpainandthenbeentaughttoblockit.AgoodPsyfeltnothing.AgoodArrowfeltevenless.
Itmadeitsomucheasiertokillpeople.
“Taiwentclawed.”Brenna’sfacewasfuriousassheglareddownatthemaleslumpedagainstthewall.“WaittillHawkehears—”
“Hewon’thear.Becauseyouwon’ttellhim.”Judddidn’tneedprotecting.IfHawkehadknownwhatJuddtrulywas,whathehaddone,whathehadbecome,theSnowDanceralphawouldhavetakenhimoutattheirfirstmeeting.“ExplainyourcommentaboutSascha.”
Brennascowledbutdidn’tpresshimaboutthescratchesonhisarm.“Nomorehealingsessions.I’mdone.”
Heknewhowbadlyshe’dbeenbrutalized.“Youhavetocontinue.”
“No.”Ashort,sharp,andveryfinalword.“Idon’twantanyoneinmyheadagain.Ever.Saschacan’tgetinanyway.”
“Thatmakesnosense.”SaschahadtheraregiftofbeingabletospeakaseasilytochangelingmindsastoPsy.“Youdon’thavethecapacitytoblockher.”
“Idonow—something’schanged.”
Taicoughedtofullwakefulnessandtheybothturnedtowatchhimasheusedthewalltodraghimselfupright.Blinkingseveraltimesaftergettingvertical,heliftedahandtohischeek.“Christ,myfacefeelslikeatruckranintoit.”
Brenna’seyesnarrowed.“Whatthehelldidyouthinkyouweredoing?”
“I—”
“Saveit.WhydidyoucomeafterJudd?”
“Brenna,thisisnoneofyourconcern.”Juddcouldfeelblooddryingonhisskin,thecellsalreadyclotting.“TaiandIhavecometoanunderstanding.”Helookedtheothermaleintheeye.
Tai’sjawset,buthenodded.“We’resquare.”
Andtheirrelativestatusinthepack’shierarchyhadbeenclarifiedbeyondanyshadowofadoubt—ifJudd’srankhadn’talreadybeenhigher,he’dnowbedominanttothewolf.
Shovingahandthroughhishair,TaiturnedtoBrenna.“CanItalktoyouabout—”
“No.”Shecuthimoffwithawaveofherhand.“Idon’twanttogowithyoutoyourcollegedance.You’retooyoungandtooidiotic.”
Taiswallowed.“HowdidyouknowwhatIwasgoingtosay?”
“MaybeI’mPsy.”Adarkanswer.“That’stherumorgoingaround,isn’tit?”
StreaksofredappearedonTai’scheekbones.“Itoldthemtheyweretalkingshit.”
ThiswasthefirstthatJuddhadheardoftheclearlymaliciousattempttocauseBrennaemotionalpainanditwasthelastthinghewouldhavepredicted.Thewolvesmightmakeviciousenemies,buttheywerealsofiercelyprotectiveoftheirownandhadclosedranksaroundBrennaassoonasshe’dbeenrescued.
HelookedatTai.“Ithinkyoushouldgo.”
Theyoungwolfdidn’targue,slidingpastthemasquicklyashislegswouldcarryhim.
“Doyouknowwhatmakesitworse?”Brenna’squestionshiftedhisattentionfromtheboy’sretreatingfootsteps.
“What?”
“It’strue.”Sheturnedthefullpowerofthatshatteredblue-browngazeonhim.“I’mdifferent.Iseethingswiththesedamneyeshegaveme.Terriblethings.”
“They’resimplyechoesofwhathappenedtoyou.”Apowerfulsociopathhadrippedopenhermind,rapedheronthemostintimateoflevels.Thattheexperiencehadleftherwithpsychicscarswasunsurprising.
“That’swhatSaschasaid.ButthedeathsIsee—”
Ascreamrippedthemomentintotwo.
Theywerebothrunningbeforeitended.Ahundredfeetdownasecondtunnel,theywerejoinedbyIndigoandacoupleofothers.Astheyturnedacorner,AndrewcametearingarounditandclampedhishandonBrenna’supperarm,jerkinghissistertoahaltandraisinghisfreehandatthesametime.Everyonestopped.
“Indigo—there’sabody.”Andrewsnappedoutthewordslikebullets.“Northeasttunnelnumbersix,alcoveforty.”
Brennawrenchedoutofherbrother’sholdthesecondhefinishedandtookoffwithoutwarning.Havingcaughttheunhiddenblazeofherangerbeforeshe’dquicklymaskedit,Juddwasthefirsttomoveafterher.IndigoandafuriousAndrewfollowedathisback.MostPsywouldhavebeenovertakenbynow,buthewasdifferent,adifferencethathadpredestinedhislifeinthePsyNet.
Brennawasastreakinfrontofhim,movingwithimpressivespeedforsomeonewhohadbeenconfinedtoabedonlymonthsago.She’dalmostreachedthenumbersixtunnelwhenhecaughtup.“Stop,”heordered,hisbreathingnotasraggedasitshouldhavebeen.“Youdon’tneedtoseethis.”
“Yes,Ido,”shesaidonagaspingbreath.
Puttingonaburstofspeed,Andrewgrabbedherfromtheback,linkinghisarmsaroundherwaisttoliftheroffherfeet.“Bren,calmdown.”
Indigoracedpast,aflashoflonglegs,darkhairstreamingbehindher.
InAndrew’sgrip,Brennabegantotwistfuriouslyenoughtocauseherselfharm.Juddcouldn’tallowthat.“She’llcalmdownifyousetherfree.”
Brennajerkedtoastop,chestheavingandeyessurprised.Andrewwasn’tsosilent.“I’lltakecareofmysister,Psy.”Thelastwordwasacurse.
“What,bylockingmeup?”Brennaaskedinarazor-sharptone.“I’mnevergoingtobeputinaboxagain,Drew,andIswearifyoutry,I’llclawmyhandsbloodygettingout.”Itwasamercilesslygraphicimage,especiallyforanyonewhohadseentheconditionshe’dbeeninaftertheyhadfirstfoundher.
Behindher,Andrewpaled,buthisjawremainedset.“Thisiswhat’sbestforyou.”
“Perhapsit’snot,”Juddsaid,meetingAndrew’sangryeyeswithoutflinching.TheSnowDancersoldierblamedallPsyforhissister’spainandJuddcouldguessatthelineofemotion-drivenlogicthathadledhimtothatconclusion.Butthosesameemotionsalsoblindedhim.“Shecan’tspendtherestofherlifeinchains.”
“Whatthefuckwouldyouknowaboutanything?”Andrewsnarled.“Youdon’tevencareaboutyourown!”
“Heknowsahellofalotmorethanyou!”
“Bren.”Andrew’svoicewasawarning.
“Shutup,Drew.I’mnotababyanymore.”Hervoiceheldechoesofdarkerthings,ofevilwitnessedandinnocencelost.“DidyoueverstoptowonderwhatJudddidformeduringthehealing?Didyoueverbothertofindoutwhatitcosthim?No,ofcoursenot,becauseyouknoweverything.”
Shetookajerkybreath.“Well,guesswhat,youknownothing!Youhaven’tbeenwhereI’vebeen.Youhaven’tevenbeenclose.LetMeGo.”Thewordswerenolongerenragedbutcalm.NormalforaPsy.Notforawolfchangeling.EspeciallynotforBrenna.Judd’ssenseswentonhighalert.
Andrewshookhishead.“Idon’tcarewhatthehellyousay,littlesister,youdon’tneedtoseethat.”
“ThenI’msorry,Drew.”Brennaslashedherclawsacrosshisarmsasplitsecondlater,shockingherbrotherintolettinghergo.Shewasmovingalmostbeforeherfeethittheground.
“Jesus,”Andrewwhispered,staringafterher.“Ican’tbelieve…”Helookeddownathisbloodyforearms.“Brennaneverhurtsanyone.”
“She’snottheBrennayouknewanymore,”Juddtoldtheothermale.“WhatEnriquedidtoheralteredheronafundamentallevel,inwayssheherselfdoesn’tunderstand.”HetookoffafterBrennabeforeAndrewcouldreply—hehadtobebesidehertodeflectthefalloutfromthisdeath.Whathecouldn’tunderstandwaswhyshewassodeterminedtoseeit.
Hecaughtupwithherassheracedpastastartledguardandintothesmallroomofftunnelnumbersix.Shecametosuchasuddenhaltthathealmostslammedintoher.Followinghergaze,hesawthesprawledbodyofanunknownSnowDancermaleonthefloor.Thevictim’sfaceandnakedbodyboreconsiderablebruising,theskinsplotcheddifferentcolorsbythedamage.ButJuddknewthatthatwasn’twhatheldBrennafrozen.
Itwasthecuts.
Thechangelinghadbeenslicedverycarefullywithaknife,noneofthecutsfatalbutthelast.Thatonehadseveredthecarotidartery.Whichmeanttherewassomethingwrongwiththisscene.“Where’stheblood?”heaskedIndigo,whowascrouchingontheothersideofthebody,acoupleofhersoldiersbesideher.
ThelieutenantscowledatseeingBrennaintheroombutanswered,“It’snotafreshkill.Hewasdumpedhere.”
“Out-of-the-wayroom.”Oneofthesoldiers,alankymalenamedDieter,spokeup.“Easytogettowithoutbeingspottedifyouknowwhatyou’redoing—whoeverdidthiswassmart,probablychosethelocationbeforehand.”
Brennasuckedinabreathbutdidn’tspeak.
Indigo’sscowlgrew.“Getherthehelloutofhere.”
Judddidn’tfolloworderswell,butheagreedwiththisone.“Let’sgo,”hesaidtothewomanstandingwithherbacktohim.
“Isawthis.”Afaintwhisper.
Indigostood,anoddlookonherface.“What?”
Brennabegantotremble.“Isawthis.”Thesamereedywhisper.“Isawthis.”Louder.“Isawthis!”Ascream.
Juddhadspentenoughtimewithhertoknowthatshewouldhatehavinglostcontrolinfrontofeveryone.Shewasaveryproudwolf.Sohedidtheonlythinghecouldtoslicethroughherhysteria.Hemovedtoblockherviewofthebodyandthenheusedheremotionsagainsther.ItwasaweaponthePsyhadhonedtoperfection.“You’remakingafoolofyourself.”
TheicycoldwordshitBrennalikeaslap.“Excuseme?”Shedroppedthehandshe’draisedtopushhimaside.
“Lookbehindyou.”
Sheremainedstubbornlystill.Hellwouldfreezeoverbeforesheobeyedanorderfromhim.
“Halfthedenissniffingaround,”hetoldher.Pitiless.Psy.“Listeningtoyoubreakdown.”
“Iamnotbreakingdown.”Sheflushedattherealizationofsomanyeyesonher.“Getoutofmyway.”Shedidn’twanttolookatthebodyanymore—abodythathadbeenmutilatedwiththesameeerieprecisionEnriquehadusedonhisvictims—butpridewouldn’tletherbackdown.
“You’rebeingirrational.”Judddidn’tmove.“Thisplaceisobviouslyhavinganegativeimpactonyouremotionalstability.Stepbackout.”Itwasadefinitecommand,histonesoclosetoalphaitsetherteethonedge.
“AndifIdon’t?”Shegladlyembracedtheangerhe’dawakened—itgaveheranewfocus,awaytoescapethenightmarememoriestriggeredbythisroom.
CoolPsyeyesmethers,themalearroganceinthembreathtaking.“ThenI’llpickyouupandmoveyoumyself.”
Attheresponse,exhilarationbursttolifeinherbloodstream,chasingawaythelastacridtangoffear.Monthsoffrustration—ofwatchingherindependencebeingburiedunderawallofprotection,ofbeingtoldwhatwasbestforher,ofhavingherrationalityquestionedateveryturn,allthatandmoresnowballedintothissingleinstant.“Tryit.”Adare.
Hesteppedforwardandherfingertipstingled,clawsthreateningtorelease.Ohyeah,shewasdefinitelyreadytotanglewithJuddLauren,ManofIce,andthemostbeautifulmalecreatureshehadeverseen.CHAPTER2
“Brenna,whatareyoudoinghere?”Thesharpquestionwasbittenoutinafamiliarvoice.Laradidn’twaitforananswer.“Moveaside,you’reblockingthedoorway.”
Startled,Brennadidasordered.TheSnowDancerhealerandoneofherassistantsslidpast,portablemedicalkitsinhand.
Juddmovedwhenshedid,continuingtoobstructherviewofthebody.“Thisroomisgettingcrowded.Laraneedsspacetowork.”
“He’sdead.”Brennaknewshewasbeingunreasonable,butshewassickofbeingpushedaround.“Shecanhardlyhelphimnow.”
“Andwhatdoyouintendtoachievebyremaininghere?”AsimplequestionthathighlightedherridiculousbehaviorwithcoolPsyprecision.
Handscurlingagainsttheurgetostrikeoutatthismalewhoalwaysseemedtocatchheratherweakest,sheturnedandwalkedout.Packmatesglancedathercuriouslyasshepassed.Morethanoneworealookofjudgment—poorBrennahadfinallysnapped.Itwastemptingtowalkpastwithoutmeetingtheirgazes,butsheforcedherselftodotheopposite.She’dhadherself-respectstolenfromheronce.Shewouldnotrelinquishiteveragain.
Severalpairsofeyesshiftedawayatbeingcaughtstaring,whileotherscontinuedtowatchher,unblinking.Hadthecircumstancesbeendifferent,shewould’vetakentheirintransigenceasachallenge,buttoday,shejustwantedtogetawayfromtheoverwhelmingdeadscentofthebody.However,thaturgencydidn’tblindhertothefactthateventheboldestofthemdroppedtheirstaresafterlookingpasthershoulder.
“Idon’tneedyoutofightmybattles,”shesaid,aftertheyclearedthecrowd.
Juddmovedtowalkbesideher,nolongerashadowatherback.“Iwasn’tawareIwasdoingso.”
Shehadtoconcedehewasprobablytellingthetruth—mostpeopleinthedenweresimplytooscaredofJuddLaurentowanttodrawhisattentionunderanycircumstances.“Yousawthecuts.”Shecouldstillsmelltheodorofdeathmingledwiththemetallicedgeofblood.“Theywerejustlikehis.”Thesharpgleamofascalpelflickeredinhermind.Animageofspurtingblood.Screamsringingagainstthewallsofacage.
“Theyweren’tidentical.”
Hiscoolresponsepulledheroutofthenightmarechaosofmemory.“Whydoyousoundsocertain?”
“I’mPsy.Iunderstandpatterns.”
Dressedinblackandwiththoseemotionlesseyes,therewasnodoubthewasPsy.Asfortherest…“Don’ttrytoconvincemethatallPsywould’vebeenabletoprocessthedetailssoquickly.You’redifferent.”
Hedidn’tbothertoconfirmordeny.“Thatdoesn’tchangethefacts.Thecutsonthisvictim—”
“Timothy,”sheinterrupted,arockinherthroat.“HisnamewasTimothy.”ShehadknownthefallenSnowDanceronlyinpassing,butcouldn’tbeartohavehimbeingreducedtonothingmorethananamelessvictim.He’dhadalife.Aname
Juddglancedather,thengaveasmallnod.“Timothywaskilledusingthesametypeofmethod,butthedetailsaredifferent.Thebiggestbeingthathewasmale.”
AndSantanoEnrique,thebastardwho’dtorturedBrennaandkilledsomanyothers,hadtakenexclusivelywomen.Becausehe’dlikedtodocertainthings,thingsthatrequiredawoman’s—Brennashovedthememoriesbackintothelockerinsidehermindwhereshekeptthedarkest,filthiestpiecesofwhathehaddonetoher.“Youthinksomeone’scopyinghim?”Theideamadehergorgerise.Evendead,thebutcher’sevilcontinued.
“Likely.”Juddhaltedataforkinthetunnels.“Thisisn’tyourfight.Leavetheinvestigationtothosewhohaveexperienceinthatarea.”
“BecauseIonlyhaveexperienceatbeingavictim?”
Themetallicscentofbloodrosefromhisshreddedfleshashefoldedhisarms.“You’retooblindedbyyourownemotionstodoTimothyjustice.Thisisn’taboutyou.”
Sheopenedhermouthtotellhimhowwronghewasbutshutitasquickly.Admittingthetruthwasn’tanoption—itwouldsoundinsane,theravingsofabrokenmind.“Gogetyourwoundstended,”shesaidinstead.“ThesmellofPsybloodisn’tparticularlyappetizing.”ShewasworriedabouthowdeepTaihadgougedhim,butdamnifshewasgoingtoadmitthat.
Judddidn’tevenblinkatherinsultingtone.“I’llescortyoutoyourroom.”
“TryitandI’llclawoutyoureyes.”Turning,shestrodeoff,abletofeelhisgazeonhereverystepofthewayuntilsheturnedthecorner.Itwastemptingtocollapsethen,toreleasethemaskofangersheworelikeashield,butshewaiteduntilshewassafelybackinherroombeforegivingin.“Ididseeit,”shetoldthewalls,terrified.
Thefleshpartingundertheblade,thebloodpouring,thepallorofdeath,she’dseenitall.Ithadleftheratrembling,shakenmess,butshe’dfoundcomfortinthefactthatithadbeennothingmorethananightmare.
Exceptnowhernightmarehadtakentheugliestofforms.
JuddensuredBrennawasinherquartersbeforehereturnedtothecrimesceneandspokeatlengthwithIndigo.Thenhemadehiswaytohisownroom.Oncethere,hestrippedandshoweredtoremovethedriedbloodonhisarms.Brennawasright—thescentwouldonlydrawattentiontohim,giventhechangelings’acutesenseofsmell,andtonight,heneededtobeinvisible.
Whenhesteppedout,hedidn’tbothertolookinamirror,simplythrustahandthroughhishairandleftitatthat.Apartofhismindnotedthathishairwaspastregulationlength.Anotherpartdismissedtheissueasirrelevant—hewasnolongeramemberofthePsyrace’smostelitearmy.ThePsyCouncilhadsentencedhisentirefamily—hisbrother,Walker;Walker’sdaughter,Marlee;andSiennaandToby,thechildrenofhisdeadsister,Kristine—tothelivingdeathofrehabilitation.
Iftheyhadn’tdefected,theywouldhavehadtheirmindswipedclean,theirbrainsdestroyeduntiltheyweren’tmuchmorethanwalkingvegetables.Ithadbeenacalculatedgambletocometothewolves.HeandWalkerhadexpectedtodie,buttheyhadhopedformercyforTobyandMarlee.Sienna,toooldtobeachild,tooyoungtobeanadult,haddecidedtotakeherchanceswiththewolvesratherthanfacerehabilitation.
ButtheSnowDancershadn’tkilledtheadultsonsight.Asaresult,henowlivedinaworldwherehisoldlifemeantnothing.Gettingdressed,hepulledonhispants,socks,andbootsfirst.Amancoulddefeatanopponentbare-chested;havingbarefeetwasafargreaterdisadvantage.Itwasashewaspullingonashirtthattheexpectedmessagecamethroughonhissmallsilverphone.Leavingtheshirtbuttonsundone,hereadtheencryptedwords,translatingtheminhismind.
Targetconfirmed.Window:Oneweek.
Hedeletedthemessagethesecondafterreadingit.Hisnextactwastopushupthelongsleevesofhisblackshirtandwrapplaincottonbandagesaroundhisforearms—theywouldhelpmaskthesmellofrapidlyregeneratingskin.Brennawouldhavebeenverysurprisedtoseehowfasthehealed.
Hismindwentoverthemurdersceneonemoretime.Hewascertaintheyweredealingwithacopycat.ThecutshadbeensuperficiallysimilartothosemadebySantanoEnriquebutnothingmore.WhereEnriquehadtakenprideintheprecisionwithwhichhemutilatedhisvictims’bodies,thiskillerhadhackedratherthansliced.IndigohadalsoconfirmedthatnoPsyscenthadbeenfoundatthescene.ThefinaldecidingfactorwasthatSantanoEnriquewasmostdefinitelydead—JuddhadwitnessedtheotherPsybeingtorntopiecesbywolfandleopardclaws.
TherewasnoneedforBrennatoworrythathertormentorhadcomebackfromthegrave.OfcoursethatwasPsylogicatworkandshewasindisputablyachangeling.Moretothepoint,shedidn’tknowthatJuddbeenpresentatEnrique’sexecutionand,byextension,herrescue.Hehadnointentionofchangingthat.Because,whilehemightnotbemuchgoodatpredictingemotionalreactions,hehadlearnedenoughaboutBrennaduringthehealingsessions—wherehe’d“lent”hispsychicstrengthtoSaschaassheworkedtorepairthefracturesinBrenna’smind—toknowshe’dreactnegativelytotheknowledgeofhisinvolvement.
I’mnotababyanymore.
No,shewasn’t.Andhewasn’therprotector.Hecouldn’tbe—thecloserhegottoher,themorehecouldhurther.Silencehadbeeninventedforthoselikehim—thebrutalkillersandtheviciouslyinsane,thosewhohadturnedtheworldofthePsyintoablood-soakedhellsobad,Silencehadbecomethebetterchoice
Thesecondhebrokeconditioning,hebecamealoadedgunwithnosafetyswitch.ThatwaswhyhewasnevergoingtodowhatSaschahaddoneandendtheSilenceinhismind.Itwastheonlythingkeepingtheworldsafefromwhathewas…theonlythingkeepingBrennasafe.
PullingonablackjacketidenticaltotheoneTaihadslashed,heslidthephoneintohispocket.Itwastimetoleavetheden.
Hehadabombtobuild.CHAPTER3
KalebKrychek,cardinalTkandthenewestmemberofthePsyCouncil,terminatedthecallandleanedbackinhischair,handssteepledinfrontofhim.“Silver,”hesaid,activatingtheintercomwithanegligibleuseofhistelekineticabilities,“findallmyfilesontheLiufamilygroup.”
“Yes,sir.”
Knowingthetaskwouldtakeherseveralminutes,hementallyreviewedthecall.JenLiu,matriarchoftheLiuGroup,hadmadeherthoughtsclear.
“Wehaveamutuallybeneficialrelationship,”she’dsaid,greeneyesunblinking.“I’mcertainyouwoulddonothingtojeopardizethat.However,I’mnotsocertainofyourcolleaguesontheCouncil.We’restillpayingfortheirlastdecision—FaithNightStar’spriceshavealmostdoubledasherfamilyseekstoregainwhatitlost.”
TheNightStarAffair,asthatparticularpoliticaldebaclewasnowcalled,hadcomeaboutimmediatelypriortoKaleb’sascensiontotheCouncil.FaithNightStar,apowerfulforeseer,hadchosentodropfromthePsyNetandintothearmsofoneoftheDarkRivercats.TwoCouncilorshadmadethehastydecisiontotryandrecaptureher,puttingherlifeatriskandalienatingnotonlyherfamily,thepowerfulNightStarGroup,butalsoallthebusinesseswhoreliedonFaith’spredictions.BusinessessuchastheLiuGroup.
Now,KalebstaredthoughtfullyatthetransparentscreenthathadmomentsbeforeheldJenLiu’sface.Thematriarchhadbeencorrectinherestimationofhisloyalties.Hevaluedtheallianceshe’dbuiltuponhiswaytogainingaCouncilseat.Thoseallianceshadbeennurturedwithcold-bloodedprecision—hehadknownthataCouncilorwhohadthesupportofcertainsectorsofsocietywouldwieldfarmorethanhisshareofpower.AndKalebappreciatedpower.Itwaswhyhe’dmadeCounciloratabaretwenty-sevenyearsofage.
Hetappedatthescreen,switchingitfromcommunicationstodatamode,thenpulledupfilesontherestoftheCouncil.Puttingthebiofilesononeside,heaccessedtheonesontheNightStarAffair.Besidethat,heleftanemptyspacefortheinformationSilverwascollating.
Finally,hebroughtupahighlyconfidentialfiletitled“ProtocolI.”Rightnow,allhehadonthatmatterweresuspicions,butthatwouldchange.TheLiuissuewoulddoforafirststrike.Hesawnoneedtodrawblood…yet.
Kalebwasnothingifnotpatient.Thesamewayacobraispatient.CHAPTER4
Onedayafterthemurder,andcountlesshoursofargumentswithherselflater,BrennaknewJuddwastheonlypersonshecouldask,theonlyonewhomightpossiblyunderstand.Andyet,hewasalsotheworst,socoldthathesometimesappearedlesshumanthanastatuecarvedoutofice.Beforebeingkidnapped,she’dgonetogreatlengthstoavoidhim,intrinsicallydisturbedbytheinhumanchillofhispersonality.
WellawareherbrotherswouldturnferalatthemerethoughtofheralonewithJudd,shetookeverycaretoremaininvisibleasshetiptoedoutoftheirfamilyquartersafterdinnerandtowardthesectionoccupiedbyunmatedsoldiers.Juddlivedalone,hisbrother,Walker,andthethreeminorshavingbeenrelocatedtothefamilysection.ThemovehadtakenplacefourmonthsaftertheLaurensfirstsoughtsanctuarywithSnowDancer.
Surprisingly,ithadbeenthepack’smaternalfemaleswhohadorderedHawketothinkaboutwhatitwasdoingtothePsychildrentobeisolatedinthesoldiers’area.Givenhowsensitivethefemalesweretoanythingthatmightposeadangertothecubs,Brennawould’veexpectedthemtodemanddistance—MarleeandTobymightbekidsbuttheywereverypowerfulkids.
Conversely,SnowDancerpupstendedtoplayroughandcouldmaulthePsychildrenwithoutmeaningto.ButthematernalfemaleshadextendedtheinvitationandWalkerLaurenhadacceptedonbehalfofhisdaughter,Marlee,andnephew,Toby.Atseventeen,Toby’ssister,Sienna,couldnolongerbeclassifiedasachild,butneitherwassheanadult.Inthiscase,theheadstrongteenagerhadchosentostaywiththechildren.
LeavingJuddalone.
AsJuddwasconsideredthemostdangerousmemberoftheLaurenfamily,hislivingquartershadneverbeeninanyquestion.Hecontinuedtobelookedonwithsuspicion,thoughsheknewhe’dbeenintegraltoherrescue.Whilehehadn’tbeenoneofthosewho’denteredthepain-soakedroomthathadbeenhertorturechamber—anomissionforwhichshewouldalwaysbegrateful—he’dhelpedSaschalaythepsychictrapthathadledtoEnrique’scapture.He’dprovenhisloyalty.Butstillheremainedanoutsider.
Theunfairnessofitrubbedathersenseofjustice,butshecouldn’tblameherpackmatesfortheirfeelings,notwhenJuddseemeddeterminedtoreinforcetheirattitude.Themanwasalooftothepointofrudeness.
Reachinghisdoor,sheknockedsoftly.“Hurryup.”Thoughthecorridorwascurrentlydeserted,shecouldnearthesoundofapproachingfootsteps.Withherluck,itwouldbeoneofheroverprotectivebrothers.
Thedooropened.“What—?”
Sheduckedunderhisarmandintotheroom.“Shutitbeforesomeonecomes.”Forasecond,shethoughthewouldrefuse,butthenhepusheditclosed.
Turningtostandwithhisbacktothedoor,hefoldedhisarmsacrossabarechest.“Ifyourbrothersfindyouhere,they’llputyouunderlockandkey.”
Shewassuddenlyhyperconsciousofthescentoffreshmalesweatandgleamingskininaconfinedspace.Terrorspiked,butshesquasheditalmostbeforeitarose,hidingitinthatimpregnableboxinhermind.“Aren’tyouworriedaboutwhatthey’lldotoyou?”Despitetheedgeoffear,herfingertipstingled,wantingtotouchthisdangerouscreature.
“Icantakecareofmyself.”
Ofthatshehadnodoubt.“SocanI.”
Judd’seyes,eyesthecolorofbitterestchocolateexceptfortheflecksofgoldintheirises,didn’tshifttheirfocusoffherface.“Whatareyoudoinghere,Brenna?”
Sheshookherselfoutofherfascination.“IneedtotalktoaPsyandyou’reit.”
“WhataboutSascha?”
“Shewon’tunderstand.”BrennabothrespectedandlikedSaschaDuncan,thePsymind-healerwhohadmatedwithLucasHunter,alphatotheDarkRiverleopards.But…“She’stoogood,toogentle.”
“It’sasideeffectofherabilities,”Juddsaidinhisusualicytone.
Itwasatonethatinfuriatedtheothermales,butBrennaknewshewasn’ttheonlyfemalewhowonderedaboutthawinghimout.Herclawsprickedtheinsidesofherskinasshewashitbyanear-violentsurgeofinexplicablesensualhunger.Shefoughtit—shewasn’tstupidenoughtothinkshecouldchangehim.
“Saschafeelstheemotionsofothers,”Juddcontinued.“Ifsheharmedanotherbeing,itwouldreboundbackonher.”
“Iknowthat.”Fistingherhands,sheturnedonherheelandbegantopacearoundthesmallroom.Hisscentwaseverywhere,closingaroundherchangelingsensesinadarkanduncompromisingmasculinewave.“Thisislikeacell.Couldn’tyouputupaposteratleast?”Thesizeoftheroomwascomparabletothoseofotherunmatedsoldiers,buteventheworstlonewolfmadesomechangestohislivingspace.
Incontrast,Judd’swasstarkinitsemptiness,hisbedthesinglepieceoffurniture,thesheetwhite,theblanketinstitutionalgray.Theonlyadditionappearedtobeahorizontalexercisebarfittedaboutafootbelowtheceiling.
“Idon’tseethepoint.”Heleanedbackagainstthedoor,themovementdrawingherattentiontoachestsheknewwaspurehardmuscle.“Askwhatyoucametoask.”
“ItoldyouI’mseeingthings.Isawthat—that—”Shecouldn’tbringherselftosayit,toreawakenthenightmare.
OfcourseJudddidn’tattempttooffercomfort.“Iexplainedthatthey’relikelynothingmorethanpsychicechoesofthetraumayousufferedatEnrique’shands.”
“You’rewrong.They’rereal.”
“Tellmewhatyousee.”
“Bad,badthings,”shewhispered,huggingherself.“Deathandbloodandpain.”
Judd’sexpressiondidn’talter.“Bemorespecific.”
Sudden,blindingangerswampedthefearraisedbythememories.“Sometimesyoumakemewanttoscream!Wouldithurtyoutotryandappearalittlehuman?”
Hedidn’trespond.
“Walker’sdifferent.”
“MybrotherisatelepathwithaspecialaffinityforyoungPsyminds.HewasateacherintheNet.”
Shetooktimetothinkthatthrough,surprisedhe’dansweredatall.“You’resayinghealreadyhadthecapacitytofeelemotionsbeforeyoudefected?”
“Weallhavethecapacity,”Juddcorrected.“ThewholepointoftheconditioningunderSilenceistocauterizethatcapacity—eliminationisimpossible.”
Shewonderedwhathesawinherface,becauseshesawonlythemostchillycalmonhis.Hestoodunaffectedbyheranger,herfear…herpain.Therealizationcausedanodd,hollowsensationinherstomach.“ButyousaidWalker’sdifferent.”
Anodsentseveraldarkstrandsofhairfallingacrosshisforehead.“Mybrother’sconstantcontactwithchildrenwhohadn’tyetfinishedtheconditioningprocess,contactthatcontinueswithTobyandMarlee,meansthathewasalwaysmoresusceptibletobreachingSilenceintherightenvironment.”
“Whataboutyou?”Itwasaquestionshe’dneverbeforeasked.“WhatdidyoudointheNet?”
Shethoughtshesawhisshoulderstighten.Butwhenhereplied,histonewasunchanged.“Youdon’tneedanymorenightmares.Now,tellmewhatyousee.”
Shesteppedclosertothedangerousmalenessofhim.“You’llhavetotalkaboutitsomeday.”Butsheknewfromhisinflexiblestancethatitwasn’tgoingtobetoday.Soshegathereduphercourageandopenedthatboxofevilanddeath.“IsawTimothy’sdeathinadream.But…hedidn’thaveafacethen…justasmoothovalofbareskinwherefeaturesshould’vebeen.”Shecouldn’tgetthedisturbingimageoutofherhead.“Isawhowhewoulddie.”Asharpbladecuttingthroughmuscleandfattoexposebloodredflesh.
Juddcontinuedtowatchherwithoutblinking.“Couldbesimpletransference—yourmind’swayofinterpretingtheimagesEnriqueleftinyourbrain.”
ItdisgustedherthatEnriquehadgottenthatfar.SaschahadassuredBrennathatshehadn’tbroken,thatshe’dkeptthebastardfromherinnermostcore,butitdidn’tfeellikethat.No,itfeltlikehe’dcrawledintotheveryessenceofherbeing,violatingeverypartofherfromtheinsideout.AndSaschadidn’tknowtheworstofwhatthebutcherhaddone…whatshehadsubmittedto—Brennaintendedtotakethosesecretstothegrave.
“Brenna.”
Stomachchurning,sheraisedherhead.“Transference?”
Hiseyeswerepiercing,asifhewereattemptingtoseethroughherskin.“Youcouldbemistakingormerginganoldorknownimageoveranewone.”
BecauseEnriquehadlikedtoterrorizeherbyshowingherrecordingsofhispastkills.“No,”shedisagreed.“EvenbeforeIsawTim’sbody,Icouldfeeldifferences…inthecuts,intheevil.”Enrique’sfavoriteweaponhadbeenascalpel,usedinconjunctionwiththetelekineticpowersofhiscardinalmind.CardinalswerethestrongestgradeofPsy,butEnriquehadbeenapowereveninthatselectcompany.“It’sasifI’mbeingforcedtowatchsomeoneelse’sfantasies.”Itwasherultimatefear—havinghermindrapedagain,beingshovedfullofdark,nauseatingthoughtsnothingcouldwashaway.
“You’reachangeling,notatelepath.”Forasecond,shethoughtshesawthegoldfleckssparktolifeintherichbrownofhiseyes.“There’smore.”Notaquestion.
Sheswallowed.“WhenIsawthemurderinmydreams,whenIheardthescreams,it—”Hernailscutintothefleshypadsofherpalms.
“Itwhat,Brenna?”Hisvoicewasalmostgentle.Ormaybethatwaswhatsheneededtohear.
“Itexcitedme,”sheadmitted,feelingdirtyandwrong…amonster.“Ienjoyedit.”Shehadcravedtheagonyofhervictim,herbloodfeveredwithsickexcitement.“Everycut,everyscream.”
Judd’sexpressiondidn’tchange.“Butonlyduringtheactualdream?”
Shewantedtobeheldsobadly,butJuddLaurenwasaboutaslikelytodothatashewastoturnwolf.“It’slikeheleftapieceofhimselfinsideofme.”
“SantanoEnriquewasatruesociopath.Hedidn’tfeelanything.”
Herlaughsoundedjaggedtoherownears.“Ifyou’dseenhimasIdid,youwouldneversaythat.Hemighthavebeencold,butheenjoyedwhathedid.Andheinfectedme.”
“Enriquedidn’thavethatability.Transferringmentalvirusesisarareskill.”Hepushedoffthedoorandwalkedtoher.“Saschafoundnotraceofoneinyourmindandshe’dknow—hermotheristhebestviraltransmitterintheNet.”
“Hedidsomething!”sheinsisted.“Thesethoughts,thesefeelings,they’renotmine.”Theycouldn’tbe.Notifshewantedtoremainsane.
“Youshouldn’tbeseeinganything,”hesaid,standingsocloseshecouldfeelhisbodyheat.Alarmandneedmixedinrawconfusion.“YourbrainpathwaysfunctioncompletelydifferentlyfromthoseofaPsy.”
Shewenttothrustahandthroughherhairandstopped.Herwaist-lengthmanewasgone,anotherthingEnriquehadstolen.“Doyouthinkhechangedthat?”
Judd’smusclesrippledasheuncrossedhisarms.“Itwouldseemtobethelogicalconclusion.Ifyouletmescanyourmind—”
“No.”
Heinclinedhisheadinasmallnod.“Fine.Butthatmakesitmuchhardertodiagnosetheproblem.”
“Iknow.Butno.”Noonewouldeveragaincrawlintohermind.Formostvictims,itwasthelastinviolatespace.Forher,itwasapartthathadbeenbrutalizedonceandwouldnevertrustagain.“Doyouhaveanyideawhatitcouldbe?”
“No.”Hereachedouttotouchherneck.“Howdidyougetthisbruise?”
Takencompletelyoffguard,shefoundherselfplacingherhandoverhis.“Abruise?MaybewhenIwassparringwithLucy.”Brennamightnotbeasoldier,butsheneededtobeabletoprotectherself…nowmorethanever.Becausethetruththatnooneknew,thesecretshe’dsuccessfullyconcealedsincetherescue,wasthatEnriquehadn’tsimplydamagedhermind,hehaddestroyedheronafarmorefundamentallevel,alevelthatthreatenedtoobliterateherveryidentity.“Canyoufindoutaboutmydreams?”
Hishandwasbigunderhers,hisfingerslong.Shewasexquisitelyawareofeverymillimeterofskin-to-skincontact.Touchmightbesecondnaturetoherrace,butpredatorychangelingsdidn’tletjustanyonetouchthem.OnlyPack,mates,andlovershadskinprivileges.Juddfitnoneofthosecriteria.Yetshedidn’tpushhimoff.
“I’llputoutsomefeelers.”Hewithdrewhishand,theroughnessofhispalmanunexpectedshock.“Butyouhavetoacceptthatnoanswersmaybeforthcoming.You’reunique—theonlyoneofEnrique’sexperimentstohavesurvived.”
HewatchedBrennaKincaidleaveJuddLauren’sroomfromtheshadows.Itwasallhecoulddonottoleapoutandchokethelifeoutofherrightthereandthen.Thebitchwassupposedtodiemonthsago,butshe’dclawedherwaybacktolife.Andnowshe’drememberedsomething.Whyelsewouldshehavepulledthatscenewiththebody?
Thewordsthatlefthismouthwerelowandvicious.
He’dbeenclosetopanicinthedaysafterherrescue,butthankfully,hermemoryhadturnedouttobefullofholes.Ifthoseholeswerefillingup,hewasintrouble.Thekindoftroublethatcouldleadtoanexecution—especiallyifshehadthatfuckingPsyonherside.Heshould’vebetrayedthewholeLaurenfamilythefirstchancehe’dgotten,buthe’dwaitedtoolongtousetheinformationandnowhisgreedhadcomebacktohaunthim.
Itmadenodifference.Hehadnointentionofbeinghunteddownlikearabiddog.Hestaredatthepressureinjectorinhishand,thesameonethathadweakenedTimandmadehimsucheasyprey.ItcouldbeusedonBrenna,too.Thecrazy-eyedwhorewasnotgoingtomessuphislife.
JuddkepthiseyeonBrennauntilshereachedtheendofthelongcorridorandturnedthecornertojointhesteadyflowofpeopleontheotherside.Hismilitary-trainedmindhadpickedupsomethingintheairthesecondafterhe’dopenedthedoor,buthecouldfindnoreasonforthewarningflag.Still,hedidn’tmoveuntilshewassafe.
Then,closingthedoor,heglanceddownathishand,flexingandunflexingitinanefforttolosetheimprintofheatburnedintoitthesecondhe’dtouchedBrenna.Ithadbeenanutterlyirrationalaction,promptednotbythoughtbutbysomeburiedinstinctthathadmomentarilyoverriddenhisconditioningwhenhe’dglimpsedthebruisemarringherskin.
Hisphonebeeped,remindinghimhehadajobtocomplete.Hecouldn’taffordtobedistractedfromhisgoalsbyachangelingwholookedtohimtovanquishhernightmares.Asifhewere…good.WhatwouldBrennasayifhetoldherthathewasthenightmare?
Hisphonebeepedasecondtime.Pickingitup,heswitchedoffthealarmandwenttowashoffthesweatthatcoatedhisbody.Thetactilesensationofsoftfeminineskincontinuedtoclingtohispalm,butheknewitwoulddisappearsoonenough—thescentofdeathhadawayofimmersingeverythinginchillingfrost.
And,Juddthoughtashepackedthesurveillanceequipmenthe’dneedtonight,hewasverygoodatcausingdeath,hadbeensincehewastenyearsofage.Tonightwasasimpletrackingjob,butonlydaysremaineduntilthehit.Thebombswerenearingcompletion.Allheneedednowwasawindowoftime,ofopportunity.Thenbloodwouldspreadacrosshisskinoncemore,ascarletflowerthattoldthetruestoryofwhathewas.CHAPTER5
IntherichvelvetnightofthePsyNet,thedoortoanimpenetrablevaultslammedshut.AvastmentalnetworkthatconnectedmillionsofPsyacrosstheworld,theNethousedtheircollectiveknowledgeandwasupdatedtrillionsoftimesadayasPsyuploadeddata.Italsoallowedthoseoftheirracetomeetatamoment’snotice,nomattertheirphysicallocation.Tonight,sevenmindsblazedintobrightnessinthedarkestcoreoftheNet,eachappearingasawhitestarsocold,itthreatenedtocut.
ThePsyCouncilwasinsession.
Kalebwasthefirsttospeak.“Whatcouldyoupossiblyhavebeenthinking?”ThequestionwasdirectedatthedangerouslypowerfulmindsofHenryandShoshannaScott,marriedcoupleandfellowCouncilors.“TheLiuGroupwasnotamusedtofindthattheirfamilyarchiveshadbeenhackedandseveralmembers’filestaggedas‘atrisk.’”Theyallknewtheatrisklabelwasonestepawayfromasentenceoffullrehabilitation.
“WeareCouncil.”ShoshannaspokeforbothScotts,somethingsheseemedtobedoingmoreandmore.“Wedon’thavetoexplainouractionstothepopulace.”
TatianaRika-Smytheenteredtheconversation.“Iassumeyoutargetedotherfamilygroupsaswell.Whatwasyourpurposeinplacingthetags?”
“TomonitorthosewhomightbesusceptibletobreakingSilence.”
“Rehabilitationtakescareofthatproblem.”Tatiana’svoiceheldaringoffinality.
“Ifthat’sthecase,thenexplainSaschaDuncanandFaithNightStartome,”Shoshannasaid,referringtothetworecentdefectorsfromtheNet.“Nikita?Saschaisyourdaughterafterall.”
“Twoanomalies.”KalebverydeliberatelybackedNikita.“Furthermore,itappearsyouwererunningunsanctionedsearcheslongbeforethoseanomaliestookplace,sotherecanbenologicalconnectionbetweenthetwo.”
“Wesawthoseanomaliesapproaching,astherestofyoudidn’t.”ShoshannawastednoneofthecalculatedPsycharmshepulledoutformediaappearances.“HaveyouheardthewhispersintheNet?They’retalkingopenlyofrebellion.”
“She’scorrect,”Tatianasaid,herallegianceunclearasalways.
“Isuggestweletthemtalk.Toacertainextent.”KalebdirectedhiswordstotheentireCouncil.“Tryingtostiflealldissentiswhatcausedproblemsinthepast.Asthesituationstands,wecankeepaneyeontheagitators…andtakecareofanyproblemsbeforetheyhaveachancetodoanyrealdamage.”
“Bethatasitmay,that’snottheissueathand,”Nikitapointedout.“IsubmitthattheScotts’findingsbeturnedovertotheCouncil.IftheywereactingasCouncilors,thentheinformationbelongstotheCouncil.Iftheywereactingontheirown,theyhadnoauthorityandthedatashouldbeseizedinanycase.”
KalebwasimpressedbyNikita’sneattrap,butsaidnothingtothateffect.Shoshannawasalreadywellonthewaytobecominghisenemy.Butthatwasn’twhatkepthimsilent—hewantedtoseewhowouldspeakintheScotts’favor,betrayingapossiblealliance.
“I’dbeinterestedinseeingthedata.”MingLeBonfinallyspoke.Amasterofmentalcombat,hewasaCouncilornoonebuthismostelitesoldierseveractuallysaw.Kalebhadbeenunabletofindasingleimageofhim—Mingwasatrueshadow.
“Itmayproveuseful.”Tatiana.
“Putitonthetableandthenwe’lldecide.”Marshall,themostseniorCouncilorandtheirunofficialchair—byvirtueofhavingsurvivedlongestasCouncil.
Threewhoseloyaltieswereunclear.NikitaandShoshannaplainlystoodonoppositesidesoftheline,andHenrywasShoshanna’s.
“Unfortunately,that’simpossible.”Shoshanna’smentaltoneremainedsupremelyconfident.“Itwouldrequirereenteringeachofthetargetedfiles.”
“Surelyyoukeptamasterlog?”Marshallarticulatedwhattheywereallthinking.
“Ofcourse.However,thatlogwashackedtenhoursago.Thedatahasbeenscrambledbeyondrecovery.”
“Doyoutakeusforrehabilitatedidiots?”Nikitasaid,herpsychicvoicearazor.“NohackerintheNetiscapableofcircumventingaCouncilor’ssecurity.”
“Itwasavirus.”Shoshannarefusedtobackdown.“Theproofishere.”Somethingslammedintotheempty“dark-space”insidethevault,adatafilethatvibratedwithabrokenviralsignature.
EveryonebutNikitadrewback.“It’ssafe,”shepronouncedasecondlater.“Notdesignedtospreadthroughdark-space.Evenifitwere,allsuchvirusesdissipatewithinafewinchesatmost.Dark-spaceisaninhospitableenvironment.”
“Forthatweshouldbegrateful.Otherwisetheviraltransmitterswould’vecorruptedtheentireNetbynow,”Shoshannasaid,inacoolreferencetoNikita’srumoredabilities.
TheytooktimetoexamineShoshanna’sevidence.Itwascompelling.Thepsychicfileshe’dpresentedshouldhavebeenreadablebytheirPsyminds,thestreamsofdatacleanandwellordered.Butthisdatawastangledintoagiantclump,distortedbytwistedsparksofinternallightningthatdissectedandfurtherdestroyedastheywatched.
“It’sfeedingonitself,”Marshallmurmured.“Acyclethatconstantlydegrades.”
“Undeniablyanextraordinarypieceofprogramming.”Tatianawentevencloser.“Weneedthisindividualworkingforus.I’dliketotakeonthetaskoftrackingtheperpetrator.”
“Goahead.”Shoshanna“pushed”thefiletowardTatiana.“You’reunlikelytohavemuchsuccess.Thehackerleftnousefulsignature.”
“Thevirusisthesignature,”Nikitapointedout.“Unlesshewassmartenoughtomaskit.ThiscouldfitintothepatternofdisturbancesattributedtotheGhost.”ShenamedthesaboteurwhohadbecomeadangerousthornintheCouncil’sside.
“Possible,”Kalebsaid.“Butthereisanotheroption—perhapstheLiufamilydecidedtotakethematterintotheirownhandsafterall.”
“Whoeveritwas,”Nikitasaid,“howmuchdatadidtheysiphon?”
“None.Theyinsertedthevirusandleft.Nothingwasremoved.”
“Howcertainareyouofthat?”Nikitaagain.
“Absolutely.”Henryspokeforthefirsttime.
“Iassumeyou’reawareyouhavetostop.”Marshall.“WiththeripplesfromtheNightStarAffairstillspreading,wecan’truntheriskoffurtheralienatingthemostpowerfulofthefamilygroups.”
“Agreed.”Shoshannaobviouslyknewwhentocutandrun.“However,whilethemajorityofthedetailsweredestroyed,wehaveputtogetheralistoftenindividualsfrommemory.Weintendtocontinuetomonitorthem…withtheCouncil’spermission.”
“Iseenoproblemwiththat,solongasyou’rediscreet,”Tatianaanswered.
“Agreed.ThereisafurthermatterIwishtodiscuss.”Shoshannabroughtupanotherfile,thisonefairlythinintermsofdata.“BrennaShaneKincaid.”
Kalebrecalledthenameimmediately.“SantanoEnrique’slastvictim?What’syourinterestinher?”
“Iassumeyou’veallreadthemostrecentreportonwhatwe’vebeenabletodecipherofEnrique’snotes?”Shoshannawaiteduntileveryonehadconfirmedhersupposition.“Soyouknowitappearshemighthaveachievedextraordinarythingswithhermind.Weneedtoexamineher.”
“YouknowaswellasI,”Nikitainterrupted,“thatanyattempttoremoveBrennaKincaidwouldbetantamounttoadeclarationofwaragainsttheSnowDancers.”
“Don’twantanothermessinyourbackyard,Nikita?”Shoshanna’squestionwasvalid—boththerecentrenegadeshadcomefromNikita’shomeregion.
Nikita’smindremainedundisturbed.“NotwhenthemessresultsfromthemistakesofotherCouncilors.”AcoolresponsethatremindedeveryoneoftheScotts’abortedattempttocaptureFaithNightStar.“Thegirlistoowellprotectedtobeaviabletarget.”
“Nikitaiscorrect,”Mingsaidunexpectedly.“Also,whileBrennaKincaidisinterestingfromascientificstandpoint,I’msurenoneofusplantoduplicatetheprocess.”
“No.”Tatiana.“Theanimalsshouldremainanimals.Inanycase,itmaybethatEnrique’salterationswillclosetheissueforus.”
“Howso?”Marshallasked.“Wecan’tchancethechangelingsdiscoveringandattemptingtoutilizetheprocessthemselves.”
“Herbrainisn’tbuiltforwhatEnriquetriedtodo,”Tatianaexplained.“Itmaysimplyimplodeasaresultoftheinternalpressure.”
“And,”Mingremindedthem,“we’vealreadysetaplaninmotiontotakecareofthechangelingproblem.Isuggestwewaitforthattobearfruit.EvenifBrennaKincaid’sbrainsomehowsurvivesthepressure,she’llbedeadsoonenough—alongwiththerestofherpack.”CHAPTER6
Itwasn’tuntilthemorningofthefifthdayafterthemurderthatJuddsawBrennaagain.HewasonhiswaytospeaktoHawkewhenshewalkedintohimfromtheoppositedirection,destroyinghisdecisiontokeepheratadistance—Brennamightlooksoftandharmless,butshehadawayofturninghisbehaviortreacherouslyunpredictable.Likenow.
Catchingherbyherupperarmswasreflex.ContinuingtoholdonafterwardwasasmallbutsignificantdeviationfromtheProtocol.Andhedidn’tcare.“Whereare—”Hecuthimselfoffwhensheliftedherface.
Herskinwasdrawn,hereyesalmostsunken.
“Talktome.”Anorder.
Whereshewould’venormallysharpenedherclawsonhimfordaringtogiveherone,todaysheshotanervousglanceoverhershoulderbeforeputtingherfistedhandsonhischest.“Iwaslookingforyou,”shewhispered,whilehewasstilltryingtoassimilatetheimpactofhertouch.“DrewandRileyhaven’tletmeleavetheapartmentsinceafterIreturnedfromtalkingtoyou—someonesawustogether.Ionlygotoutnowbysheerluck.”
Juddfelticespreadthroughhisveinsbutitwasacoldthatburned.“I’lltalktothem.”NoonewasgoingtolockBrennainagain.
“Justtakemeoutside,farenoughawaythattheycan’ttrackmyscent.”Araggedplea.“PleasegetmeoutbeforeIlosemymind.”
“Followme.”Releasinghisholdonher,heturnedtoleadherout.Afemininehandcurvedaroundhisupperleftarm,overtheleather-synthofhisjacket.
Itifhadbeenanyotherwoman,hewould’vebrokenthecontactandmadeverysureitwouldn’tberepeated.Butthiswasn’tanotherwoman.“Howfar?”Heaskedbecauseshe’dbecomealmostagoraphobicsincetheabduction—thoughshedidsometimesventureasmalldistancebeyondtheden,she’dstoppedattendingcollegeandneverwentforrunswithherpackmates.
“Far.”Hervoicewasresolutebutherhandavisearoundhisarm.
HetookherthroughseveralbacktunnelstoanexitthatheknewwaskeptlesswellguardedthanothersbecauseitopeneddirectlyintoagardenintheWhiteZone.Thatzonewastheclosestsectionoftheinnerperimeterandwasconsideredsafeenoughforpupstoplayinunattended.“WaitherewhileIcheckthearea.”
Ittookafewsecondsforhertoletgo.“SorryI’m—”
“IfIhadwantedanapology,Iwouldhaveaskedforit.”
Hermouthsnappedshut.“Wheredidyoulearnyourcharm—thegulag?”
“Somethinglikethat.”Hesteppedouttofindthegardenempty.Thepupshadprobablybeenherdedinsidewhentheskygrewheavywiththepromiseofmoresnow.Completingthevisualscan,hedidatelepathiconetoconfirmhisfindings.“It’sclear.”
Brennaemergedfromthedoorwithaconfidentexpression,butthesecondshehitopenair,herbreathingwentfromsmoothtorocky.Hecouldsenseherfearasifitwereaphysicalwavesmashingrepeatedlyintohisbody.Reachingback,hetookherhand.Changelingscravedtouch.Itcenteredthemasmuchasitdidtheoppositetothoseofhisrace.
“Staywithme.”Refusingtothinkaboutwhyhe’ddonesomethingsoalientohisnature,hepulledherthroughthegardenandtowardanarrowpathway.“Farther?”
“Yes.”Herhuskyvoicetookonahardedge.“I’msickofbeingafraid.He’snotgoingtowin.”
“You’retoostrongforthattoeverbeapossibility.”AfterlearningofwhatEnriquehaddonetoher,JuddhadexpectedBrenna’stobeashatteredmindtwistedthroughwithmadness.Butnotonlyhadshesurvived,shewassane.
Herhandtightenedonhis.“Judd—”
Somethingbrushedtheedgeofthetelepathicscanhe’dcontinuedtorun.“Quiet.”HewasconsciousofBrenna’seyesonhimasshestoodcloseenoughthatherbodyheatreachedhimeventhroughtheenhancedinsulationofhisjacket.Consigningthatknowledgetoadarkcornerofhismind,herefocusedthescan.Thereweretwosoldierswalkinginthisdirection,likelyreturningfromawatchontheouterperimeter.
Theywouldn’tstophim,buthedidn’tintendtohavehiswhereaboutstracked.Thatwaswhyhe’dworkedoutseveraldiscreetwaystoensurehisfrequenttripsinandoutofSnowDancerterritorywereneverlogged.However,iftheysawBrenna,theywouldcertainlytrytoholdheruntiltheyreceivedinstructionsfromeitherAndreworRiley.
“Canyousmudgetheirminds?”Brennaaskedinalowwhisper,pressingevenclosertohisbody.“Makethemlooktheotherway?”
“Changelingmindsareharderforustoinfluencethanhuman.”StrongPsycouldkillchangelingswithablastofsheerpowerbutmanipulatingthemwasadifferentproposition.“Theremaybeanotheroption.”
Sendingouthissensesagain,hefoundsixunshieldedminds.Takingcontrolwaseasy—youngblackbearsdidn’thavemuchofadefense,especiallythisdeepintohibernation.“Canyoustayherebyyourselfforafewminutes?”
Skinpulledtautoverhercheekbonesasshenodded.“Go.”Releasinghishandwithnotablereluctance,shebackedupandmovedbehindatree.
“Iwon’tbelong.”Hecouldseehowcloseshewastopanic,buttohercredit,sheonlynoddedwhenhegavethenextorder.“Whenyouheartheguardsbegintomove,runsoutheast.Nohesitation.”
Heheadedtowardthetwomen,makingsurehewasoutofBrenna’slineofsightbeforeheblurredhimself.NoteventheothermeninhishighlyspecializedArrowunithadpossessedthisability.Mostblurring,or“smudging”asBrennahadputit,occurredonthementalplane,withthePsycastingtelepathicinterferenceacrosstheviewer’smind.
Juddwasdifferent.Hecouldalterhisownphysicalform.Theskillwastelekineticratherthantelepathic.BecauseJuddwasn’tsimplyastrongtelepath,norwasTphismainability,aswaswidelybelieved—ashe’dgonetogreatlengthstomakepeoplebelieve.WhatwouldBrennasayifsherealizedhewasanextremelypowerfultelekinetic—aTk,thesamedesignationasthekillerwhohadtorturedherinthatblood-soakedroom?
Itwasaquestionhe’dneverhaveanswered,ashehadnointentionoftellingBrennathetruthofwhathewas.Shiftinghiscellsafractionmoreoutofsyncwiththeworld,hemovedoutpastthetwoothermen—whenheblurred,changelingscouldn’tseehimexceptasashadowoutofthecorneroftheireye.Moreimportantly,theycouldn’tscenthimeither,afactthatsupportedhispersonaltheoryofhowhisabilityworked.
Aminutelater,hesentthebearscrashingthroughtheforestontheright-handside,anddownwind,ofthesoldiers.Thecreaturesmadeenoughnoisetodistractthemintochangingdirection.Settlinghismoleculesbackintosync,Judddeliberatelycrossedpathswiththemen—asifhewereonhiswaybacktotheden.
“Anyonecomepastyou?”Eliasstopped,whilehispartner,Dieter,keptgoing.
“No.”
Nodding,EliastookoffafterDieter.Juddusedtheopportunitytolayafalsetrailallthewaybacktotheden.Then,takingthetimetohideBrenna’strailevenashehidhisown,heheadedsoutheast.HethrustsomeTkthroughtheairasheran,muddyingupanddispersingtheirscentssotheycouldn’tbetrackedthatwayeither.
Brennawasfast.Whenhefoundher,shewaswelloutoftheWhiteZone,andinthecentralcoreoftheinnerperimeter—consideredsafeforadultsbutnotchildren.Thereweresentriesinthissection,too,buttheywerestationedsomedistanceaway,ontheborderwheretheinnerperimetergavewaytotheouter.AroundJuddandBrennatheforestwasquiet,soundmuffledbythethickblanketofsnow.ThetreeswerebluewithitthisfarupintheSierra,icicleshangingoffthebranchesliketransparentblades.
“Careful.”Hemovedtocoverherwhenshepassedunderaparticularlylethalspike.
“What?”Shelookedupandbehindherself,thenshivered,shiftingtoleanhersideagainsthischest.Hefroze,unmovingasthetrees.Hisreactiondidn’tescapehernotice.“I’msorry,Iknowyoudon’tlikebeingtouched.ButIneeditrightnow.”
He’dcometoexpectbluntnessfromher.“You’renotdressedforthisweather.”Shewasn’twearingacoat,justjeansandapinkturtleneck,thoughherfeetwereencasedinsolidboots.Heshouldhavenotedandremediedthelackbeforetheylefttheden.
“I’mchangeling.Idon’tfeelthecold.”Usuallytrue,exceptthatshewasburrowingintohisbody,herhandsraisedbetweenthemassheturnedslightly.Onethighpressedintohis.“Whataboutyou?”
“I’mfine.”Hetrulydidn’tfeelthecold,butinhiscase,ithadtodowithhistelekineticabilities.“Takethis.”Heshruggedoffhisjacket.Itlefthimcladinathinround-neckedsweaterasblackashisjeans.
“ItoldyouId-d-don’tfeelthec-c-cold.”
“Yourlipsareblue.”Heputthejacketaroundhershoulders.Atthesameinstant,heextendedhiscold-deflectingTkshieldtocoverher.Theshieldwascreatedbyreorderingtheairanddustparticlestoformathinbuthighlyimpermeable—andinvisible—wall.
Sheshudderedandbegantopushherarmsintothesleeves.“Youwin.Thisissowarm.”
Swimminginhisjacket,shereturnedtoherpositionagainsthim.Neitherofthemspokeormovedforthenexttenminutes.Brennaseemedcontenttosimplygazeattheblueandwhitespreadoftheforestaroundthem,buthewasawareofeverybreathshetook,everybeatofherheart,everyshiftofhersoft,warmbodyinsidehisjacket.Thestrengthofthatfinalthoughtsparkedawarninginhisbrainthathechosetoignore.
Suddenly,theblindinglightofthesunwasreflectingoffthesnowandintohiseyes.Heglanceduptodiscoverthecloudshaddissipatedwhiletheystoodinsilence.
“Beautiful,”Brennasighed,hookingonearmintohis,“buthardontheeyes.Comeon.There’salakethisway.Theareaarounditisabitmoreshaded.”Glintingoffhercapofhair,thesunwasasharpknifethatmadehimquestionwhathewasdoinghere.Buthedidn’tstopwalkinguntilshedid.
“There,see?”Lookingoutatthesnow-coveredsurfaceofthesmalllakethatduringwarmermonthswaspaintedwithreflectedimagesofmountainsandtrees,Brennasuddenlyfeltfreerthanshehadinmonths.Thefearthathadtrappedherinsidethedenwasgone,crushedundertheachingbeautyofthewildernessshecalledhome.Allshe’dneededwassomeonetowalkwithherthisfar.
Smiling,shelookedupatthedarkangelbyherside.Dressedinblack,withthathairandthoseeyes,therewasnootherwaytodescribehim.“Thankyou.”
Hislipswereabeautifulshape,fullenoughtotemptbutwithahardedgethatmadeherstomachtwist.Thenhespokeanditwasabrutalreminderthathewasn’tsimplyastrong,sexymale.HewasPsy.“Don’tthankme.I’vebeenunabletofindanyconcreteanswersforyouinrelationtothedream-visions.Youneedtotalktosomeonemoreknowledgeable—thedreamscouldbeasignofmentaldegradation.”
Shewithdrewherarmfromhisandshovedbothhandsintothepocketsofhisjacket.Thescentofhim,powerfulandintrinsicallymasculine,wasintoxicatingtoherchangelingsenses,butshenolongerwantedtobesurroundedbyit.“YouthinkI’mlosingmymind?”Itwashersecretfear,themonsterunderthebed,thecoldchilldownherspine.
“Psydon’tdancearoundthefacts.ImeantexactlywhatIsaid.”
God,buthesoundedarrogant.“That’saloadofbull.”Shescowled.“YourCouncilhasdouble-talkdowntoafineart.”
Darkeyeswithsnowreflectedintheirdepthsturnedtoher.“TheyarenotmyCouncilandIamnottheirpuppet.”Icyenoughtoflayoffherskin.
Shewinced.“Mentaldegradation?Ifthatdoesn’tmeanmadness…”
“Enriquemayhavedamagedpartsofyourorganicbraintissuewhilerunninghispsychicexperiments,causedlesionsorbruises.”Hewatchedherwiththeunblinkingstareofapredator,asifgaugingherstrength.“HewasaTkandtheuseoftelekineticpowersalmostalwayshasaphysicaleffect.Theautopsiesofhisothervictimsrevealedthemtohavesufferedmajorbraininjuries.”
Pictures.Thebutcherhadshownherpicturesoftheothers.“Iremember.”
“However,thelikelihoodofsuchdamageisminimal.SaschaandLaramadesuretorepairallorganictearsbeforetheybeganhealingthingsonanyotherlevel.”
Brennabitherlowerlipandtookadeep,shakybreath.“Saschasaidthatthatpartshould’vetakenlonger,butthatIwassodeterminedtohavemymindback,itwasasifIwilledthebrokenpartstoheal.”AlmostasifshewerePsy.“MaybeIrushedher.”
“Icalledherafteryouspoketome,”hesaid,continuingtowatchherwiththathunter’sgaze.“Youdidrushher,butnotinthephysicalhealing.”
Shewantedtosmackhimforhispresumption,despitethefactthatshe’daskedforhishelp.“NoneofthatchangesthefactthatSaschadoesn’thaveexperiencewiththiskindofthing.”Andtheempath,whohadtheabilitytosenseandhealthedarkestofemotionalwounds,hadalreadyseenherbrokenandbloodytoomanytimes.Nomatterherkindness,SascharemindedBrennaofthingsshe’dratherforget.
“No.ButFaithdoes.”Juddfoldedhisarms.“Youneedtotalktosomeone.”
“I’mtalkingtoyou.”Why,shecouldn’trationallyexplain.Hewascoldandmerciless,hadallthecharmofaferalwolf.
“I’llsetupthemeetingwithFaith.”
Shegrittedherteeth.“I’lldoit.Vaughndoesn’tlikeyou,incaseyouhadn’tnoticed.”She’dmetbothFaithandhermate,Vaughn,whentheforeseerhadcomeuptothedentoacceptagiftmadeforherbythenurserychildren,childrenwhowerealivebecauseofavisionFaithhadhad.Withoutherwarning,theywould’velostseveralpups.“Notthatyougooutofyourwaytobefriendly.”
“That’sirrelevant.”Turningaway,helookedoutoverthefrozenvista.“Emotionisnotoneofmyweaknesses.”
FaithhadjustendedashortbutdisturbingconversationwithBrennaKincaidwhenAnthonyKyriakus,headoftheNightStarGroup—andherfather—walkedintothemeetingroom.Puttingthephoneinherpocket,sheleanedintoVaughn,waitingforAnthonytospeak.
“There’saGhostintheNet.”Hecircledtostandontheothersideofthetable.
Itwasn’twhatshehadwantedtohear,thechildinherstillhungryforthingssheknewAnthonymightneverbeabletogiveher.Hurtwasadullacheinherbody.ThenVaughnclosedahandoverhernapeandthesadnesspassed—shewasloved,cherished,adored.“Aghost?”Shesatandthemenfollowed.
“Nooneknowstheidentityofthisindividual,butheorsheisbeingcreditedwithanumberofinsurgentactivities.”Anthonypassedheradisccontainingthenamesofcompaniesthathadrequestedaforecastsincetheylastspoke—forecastssheprovidedunderasubcontractingagreementwithNightStar.
Sheputthedisctooneside,moreinterestedinthisGhost.“Isheoneofus?”IftherewasonethingFaithandherfatherbothagreedon,itwasthattheywantedtheirpeoplefreedfromaSilencethatwasfalse—AnthonymightbecoldlyPsy,buthewasalsotheleaderofaquietrevolutionagainsttheCouncil.
“There’snowaytoknow.However,itisevidentthattheGhostispartoftheCouncil’ssuperstructure—heorshehasaccesstoclassifieddata,buthasn’tactedonanythingaboveacertainlevel.Thatcouldbebecausethisindividualdoesn’thavehigheraccess,orbecausehe—”
“—isbeingverycarefulnottodoanythingthatmightnarrowthefocusofinquiryastohis,orher,identity,”Faithcompleted.
“Goodstrategy.”Thejaguarathersidefinallyspoke,histhumbcontinuingtostrokeoverhernape.“TheCouncil’sgottobepissedifthisrebelisleakingclassifieddata.”
“Yes.”AnthonyturnedbacktoFaith.“TheGhostwasactivewhileyouwerestillpartoftheNet.DoyourecalltheexplosionatExogenesisLabs?”
“Theplacewherethey’retheorizingaboutimplantsthatmightlowerthepercentageofdefects?”Shespitoutthelastword.ItwasthelabeltheCouncilusedtodescribethosewhorefusedtobuckleundertheemotionlessregimeoftheSilenceProtocol.“TheywanttocutintodevelopingbrainsandinitiateSilenceonanorganiclevel.”
Anthonydidn’treacttoheropenemotionalism.“TheExogenesisstrikekilledtwooftheleadscientistsontheimplantteamanddestroyedmonthsofwork.”
“YourGhostisn’tafraidtokill.”
FaithheardnojudgmentinVaughn’stone—hercathadkilledtoprotecttheinnocent.Andchildren,thefirstvictimsofimplantationshouldtheprocedurebeputintopractice,werethemostinnocentofall.CHAPTER7
“ItappearsnotTheexplosionwasinvestigatedbybothEnforcementandtheCouncil,butwithoutactivesupportfromamajorityofthepopulace.”
“Why?”Vaughnasked,hisbodyheatsoseductiveshefoundherselfleaningeverclosertohim,herhandonthehardmuscleofhisthigh.“Wouldn’tthisimplantmakethePsyevenmoreefficient?”
Anthonynodded.“Inasense.ButthedissidentsarguethatProtocolI,whileensuringuniversalcompliancewithSilence,wouldhavetheunavoidablesideeffectoflinkingourmindstogether.NotasthePsyNetdoes,butonabiologicallevel.”
ProtocolI.
Thatitalreadyhadanofficialnamewasabadsign.“They’retalkingaboutatruehivemind.”Faithcouldn’tcontrolthedisgustthatlacedherwords.
“Yes.It’snothingthatappealstothoseofuswhoprefertorunourenterprisesfreeofinterference.Thatwouldbecomeimpossibleshouldtheentireracebegintoactasoneentity.”Hepickeduphisorganizer—thethincomputertabletubiquitousamongthePsy.“Fromthepatternofattacks,itappearstheGhostsharesourgoals,butwithoutknowinghisorheridentity,wecan’tcoordinateourefforts.”
Vaughnleanedforward.“Themorepeoplewhoknowaname,thehigherthechanceofexposure.IsaylettheGhostdohis—orher—thing,andridethewaveitgenerates.”
“Yourconclusionmirrorsmine.”Histonesignalingtheendofthetopic,Anthonybroughtupsomethingonhisorganizer.“BlueZhasbeenwaitingforitslatestpredictionforamonth.Canyoumoveittothetopofyourlist?”
Faithpickedupherownorganizer.“Icantry.”Shestillhadn’tcrackedthesecretofbringingonvisionstoorder.ItwasbeginningtoappearthatthatwasonethingtheCouncilhadn’tliedabout—maybetherewasnowaytoharnesshergiftthatfar.
Anthonymovedontoanotheritemontheagenda.Halfanhourlater,theyweredoneandshewashugginghimgood-bye.Hedidn’treturnthegesture,butdidpatherlowerbackonce.OnlyaformerinmateofSilencecouldhaveunderstoodtheincredibleimpactofthatact.Shehadtearsinhereyeswhenhepulledawayandwalkedoutthedoor.
Barker,aDarkRiversoldier,waswaitingtoescorthimoutofthepack’sfinancialHQ.LocatedindowntownSanFrancisco,neartheorganizedchaosofChinatown,thebuildingwasbothpublicandhighlysecure.
“Comehere,Red.”Vaughndraggedherintohisarms,meltingthelumpinherthroatwithhisroughbrandofaffection.
Itscaredhersometimes,thestrengthofwhatshefeltforhim.“He’simportant.TheGhost.”She’dhadaknowing,notavisionassuchbutahintofhowthingsmightbe.
Thatwaswhenithither.Atruevision.Asplit-secondimageofthefuture.
ButthisonehadnothingtodowiththeGhost.ItwasaboutBrenna.Death.TheSnowDancerwassurroundedbydeath,herhandsdrenchedinblood.Whoseblood?Faithdidn’tknowbutshecouldsmelltheraw-meatscentofit,thedesperation,andthefear.Thenitwasgone—sofastshewasn’tevenleftwithanafterimageonherretinas,muchlessanyofthedisorientationthatsometimesaccompaniedtheflashesofforesight.
Ithadgivenhernothingconcrete,nothingshecouldsharewithBrenna,butitdidservetobackupherinstinctsaboutwhattheotherwomanhadtoldheronthephone.HuggingVaughn,shereturnedtothetopicathand.“DoyouthinkIshouldcontacttheNetMindabouttheGhost?”Asentiencethatwasathomeinnetworksofminds,theNetMindwasthelibrarianandsomebelieved,thepolicemanofthePsyNet.Faith,however,knewittobesomuchmore.
“Thisguyseemstobeworkingfinealone.Yousureyouwanttomesswiththat?”
“Ishould’veknownyou’dtakethesideofthelonewolf,”sheteased,delightinginbeingabletodoso.
Hegrowledandshefeltthevibrationagainsthercheek.“Don’tcomparemetothosedamnferalthings.”
Tiltingupherface,shesmiled.“Damnwolves.”ItwasanimprecationoftenmutteredbyDarkRivercats.
“Tooright.”Hekissedher.Hard.Fast.Vaughn.
“I’lltakeyouradvice—Idon’twanttoinadvertentlytriggersomethingintheNetMind.”Thoughthedevelopingsentiencewasgood,itwasn’tcompletelyfreeoftheCouncil.“Youknow,IthinktheGhostisgoingtobeimportanttoDarkRiveraswell.Notnow.Butoneday.”
“Avision?”
Sheshookherhead.“Notevenaknowing,really,moreofa—”Thewordswouldn’tcome.
“Agutfeeling.”
“Yes.”Nowondershe’dbeenblocked—admittingtosuchathingwould’vegottenhermedicatedinthePsyNet.“Oh,and,mydarlingcat,we’regoingupintoSnowDancerterritorytomorrowmorningforameeting.”
“Who?”Hefistedherhairinhishand,butsheknewitwasagestureofaffection.
“BrennaKincaid.”ShedecidednottomentionthatJuddLaurenwouldalsobepresent.Vaughnhadadecidedlynegativereactiontothetall,dark,andverydangerousPsy.Judd…no,shesawnothingabouthim.Ofallthepeopleshehadevermet,itwasJuddwhowasthemostopaquetoherforesight.Sodark.Sobrutallyalone.
Twenty-fourhoursaftershe’dbowedtoJudd’sdemands,Brennastillwasn’tsureaboutmeetingwithFaith,butitwastoolatetobackout.Theygottogetherinasmallclearingabouttwentyminutesfromtheden.Despitehermisgivingsaboutthis,BrennahadtoadmittheDarkRiverpairhadpickedabeautifulspot.Thesnowwassoftunderfootandafrozenwaterfallglimmeredafewmetersaway,theiceglazedtoanalmostpainfulbrightnessbythemidmorningsun.Faith’sdarkredhairappearedaflameagainstallthatwhite.
Thentherewasnomoredistancebetweenthem.“Thankyouforcoming.”
Faithsmiled,butJuddspokebeforetheF-Psycouldrespond.“Youchosealocationextremelyclosetotheden.Whynotsomewhereneareryourpack?”
Brennahadwonderedaboutthat,too.Thecatsmightbetheirallies,butthetwopackswerenotyetfriends.Andthemalesofpredatorychangelingspecies’werenotoriouslyprotectiveoftheirwomen—mates,daughters,andsisters.Sheshouldknow.DrewandRileyweredrivinghertomadness.Ithadreachedthepointwheresheknewsomethinghadtogive.Shejusthopedtheyallsurvivedtheexplosion.
ButFaithseemedhappywithheroverprotectivemale.“Vaughnfindsitamusingtogetpastyourpatrolswithoutdetection.”
Vaughnlookedunrepentant.“They’regettingsloppy.EvenwithRedherestompingaway,Ihadnotroublegettingin.”Hegrinnedwhenhismategavehimawarninglook.
Brennafeltsomethingclutchinherstomachattheeasyintimacybetweenthetwo,atthegrinfromacatshe’dneverbeforeseensmile.Thatwaswhatsheshouldbeseeking—asensual,affectionatechangelingmale.Theydidn’tbothertohidetheiremotions,touchedaseasilyastheybreathed,laughedwiththeirmateseveniftheydidn’twithanyoneelse.
Theproblemwasthatthesedays,onlyonemanseemedtoregisteronherfemininesensesandhewasaPsywhocouldgivehernothingofwhatVaughngaveFaith…evenifhewereinterested.Whichheclearlywasn’t.Thenwhydidshekeepgoingtohim,expectinghimtofightherdemons,tokeephersafe?
“So”—Faithlookedather—“let’stalkaboutyourdreams.”
Theywerenightmares,notdreams.“Doyouthinkwecoulddoitalone?”
FlickersoflightcameandwentinFaith’scardinaleyes—whitestarsonblackvelvet.Saschawasacardinal,too,butFaith’seyesweredifferentfromtheotherwoman’s,quieter,lessopen,touchedwithastrokeofdarkness.Faithsawthefutureandhereyessaidthatthatfuturewasn’talwayssomethinggood.
Glancingoverhershouldertohermate,Faithinclinedherheadinagentlegesture.BrennawasfascinatedbythePsywoman’sinteractionwithacatwhohadalwaysstruckheraswilder,moreanimalthanmost.MaybeshecouldlearnsomethingfromFaithaboutmanagingunmanageablemales.
Turningherself,shelookedupattheprofileofamansolethallycold,sheshouldhavebeentooterrifiedtoapproachhim.“Please.”
Judd’shairliftedintheslightbreezeandshehadtocurlherfingerstofightthetemptationtotouch.Because,ratherthanbeingcrushedundertheiceofhispersonality,herfascinationwithhimcontinuedtogrow.
“I’llmakesurenoonegetstoyou.”Apromisesoabsolute,shefeltitinherbones.
“Thankyou.”
HisgazeflickedtoVaughn.“I’lltakethesouth.”
“I’vegotthenorth.”
Withthat,themenweregone,shadowsthatblendedintothetreesringingtheclearing.BrennawaiteduntilshecouldnolongerscentVaughn,trustingthathe’dholdtothechangelingcodeofhonorandgooutofearshotofnormalconversation.“Idon’tknowwheretostart,”shefoundherselfsaying.
“Yousaidyou’vebeenexperiencingwhatmightbecalledvisions.”Faithhadaveryclearvoice,hauntinglyso.“Tellmewhatyouseeandwhenitbegan.”
Takingadeepbreath,Brennapouredoutthewholesordidstory,thenasked,“Didhedosomethingtomymind?”Shestareddownatthepurityofthesnowinanefforttomakeherselffeellessdirty…lessraped.
Faith’sanswerwastosay,“Walkwithme,Brenna.”Shetookthemonaslowstrolltothebottomofthewaterfall.“Beautiful,isn’tit?”
Shelookedup.“Yes.”Before,shewould’vebeenthefirsttosaythat,toseethegoodoutthere.Oneday,shepromisedherselffiercely,she’dgetbackthatlostpartofher,thepartthatbelievedinjoy.
Bendingdown,Faithpickedupasmoothstonethathadbeenstrandedontheedgeofthewaterfallandrolleditbetweenherfingersassherose,herfacesetinthought.“I’veneverheardofasituationwhereanon-PsywasalteredtohavePsyabilities.Buttheydosoundlikevisionsofasort.”Shedroppedthestonebacktoearthandnoddedasifreachingadecision.“Ineedtogointoyourmind.”
“No.”Aninstinctiveresponse,unadornedbycivilizedthought.“I’msorry,butno.”
“Neverapologizeforprotectingyourself.”Faithsoundedfurious.“Iknowwhatit’sliketofeelasifyourmindistheonlysafeplace.”
“Exceptitisn’t.Notanymore.”Thatwaswhatthreatenedtodestroyher.Howdidshewashherselfcleaniftheevilwaslodgedinsideofher,becomingmoreapartofherwitheachpassinghour?Shedashedtheincipientself-pitywithsheereffortofwill—itwasaweaknessshecouldn’tafford.“Canyoustillhelp?”
“Icantry.”Shovingherhandsintothepocketsofhercoat,Faithblewoutabreath.“Doyouthinkyoucanaccessthepartofyourmindthatthevisionsarecomingfrom?”
“Idon’tknowhow.”Thetruthwas,shedidn’twanttogotothattwistedplaceinhersoul.
Faith’seyesheldnojudgment,onlyunderstanding.“Iknowit’llhurt,butIwantyoutoattempttorelivethevision.Atthesametime,imagineshovingallthat—thoughts,feelings,images—outward.”
Brenna’sgorgeroseattheideaofreturningtothemalevolence,butshewasnocoward.Shereachedinward…andfoundithorrifyinglyeasytoawakenthememories,tofeelthevictim’sfearandherownsadisticsatisfaction.Stomachthreateningtorevolt,shethrusttheemotionsandimagesoutofhermindwiththedesperationofatrappedcreature.Thisevilwasn’ther,couldn’tbeher.Becauseifitwas,thenshehadn’twalkedoutsanefromthebutcher’storturechamber.Shehadwalkedoutanightmare.
“Enough.”
Brennaclampeddownontherepugnantstreamofmemory.“Diditwork?”Thesnowwastoobright.Ithurthereyes.
Faithwasfrowningwhenshereplied,“I’mnotthatpowerfulatelepath,butIdidcatchbitsandpieces—thingsyoupushedoutsideyourshields.AllIcansayisthatitdoesn’t…tastelikeforesight.”
“Icanheara‘but.’”
“There’ssomethingtherethatshouldn’tbe—notwrongbyitself,butbecauseyou’rechangeling.”Theforeseerfoldedherarmsaroundherself.“Ihatethecolduphere.”
“Ilikeit—thewaythesnowmakeseverythingpureagain.”Sheregrettedthewordsthesecondtheywereout.Faith’seyesweretoointelligent,tooknowledgeable.“Canyoutellmeanythingmore?”
Thankfully,theF-Psytookherlead.“IthinkEnriquesucceededindoingsomethingtoyourbrainitself.”
AttheechoofJudd’swords,Brennafelthernailscutintoherpalms.“Couldhehavecausedirreversibledamage?”
Night-skyeyesmethers.“IwishIcouldansweryouwithcertainty,butIcan’t.I’msorry,Brenna.”ShetouchedahandfleetinglytoBrenna’sarm.“WhatIcansayisthateverythingyou’vetoldmepointstoapsychicsideeffect,ratherthananorganicone.Youwerescannedatahumanhospital,weren’tyou?”
Shenodded.“LaraandSaschawantedtomakesurethey’dcaughteverything.”AnM-Psy—giftedwiththeabilitytoseeinsideabody—couldhavedonethesamethingatlesscost,butherpackdidn’tmuchtrustanyPsyhookeduptothePsyNet.
“ThenIdon’tthinkyouhavetoworryaboutbraindamage—thosescanningmachinescatchthetiniesttearsandlesions.Ishouldknow.WhileintheNet,Iwasscannedonaregularbasis.”
ThepracticalremindergroundedBrenna.She’dseenthescansherself,seenthelackofdamage.“Sowhatdoyouthinkhedid?”
“Well,Enriquedidsayheexperimentedonchangelingwomen.Wereadthatasthejustificationofamadman,butperhapsitwasn’t.Perhapshesucceededwithyou.”
“Hestillwould’vekilledme.”Enriquehadbeenpleasedwithher,butonlyasyou’dbepleasedwithalabrat.It,too,wasdisposable.“Isthereanywaytofindoutwhathisgoalwas?”Andwhetherhe’dtornintoherbrainforreasonsotherthanpsychopathicpleasure.
“Hehastohavekeptrecords.”Faithsoundedverysure.“I’llaskthoseIcan,butit’salmostcertainthatthey’reintheCouncil’shandsbynow.”
Inotherwords,utterlyoutoftheirreach.“Ifyouhadtoguess,whatwouldyousayhewastryingtoachieve?”
“Letmethink.”Faithpickedupahandfulofsnowandbegantosiftitthroughherfingers.Flakescaughtonthedarkgreenofhergloves.“DoyoumindifIaskSascha?Iwon’ttellherdetailsaboutthedreams—justwhatEnriquemight’vedonetoyourmind.”
BrennalookedatthewaterfallratherthanatFaith.“Ask.”
Faith’seyeslostfocusforamicrosecondbeforebrighteningagain.“Okay,I’vegother.”Apause.“Apparently,”shesaidintothesilence,“Enriquethoughtthatchangelingwomenwereperfectbecauseoftheirabilitytobearemotionwithoutbreaking.”
“Couldhehavebeentryingtocreateahybrid?”Brennascowled.“Butthat’sstupid—hecouldhaveaseasilysplicedDNA,orgottenachangelingwomanpregnant.”Butthoughhehadviolatedherinsomanyways,waysshestillcouldn’tthinkaboutwithouthervisionhazingoverwiththedarkredofblood,hehadn’ttriedtoimpregnateher.
“Saschaagrees.SodoI.”TheF-Psydustedoffherhands.“Frommyownexperience,I’dsayitwasmorelikelyEnriquesomehowrippedopenapreviouslydormantsectionofyourbrain.”
“Apartthatwasprobablymeanttostaythatway.”
“Yes.Whatwasdonetoyouwasn’tnatural.Butitwasdone.”
“AndIhavetolearntolivewithit.”Themonsterhadstolenherrighttochoose.
“I’llgiveyouwhathelpIcan.Sascha,too—she’llunderstand,youknow.”Faith’svoicewasgentle.“Youdon’thavetoworrythatshe’lljudgeyou.”
Brenna’sthroatburnedwithwithheldtears.“Howcouldshenot?WhatIfeelduringthosenightmares…it’stwistedandwrong.Andshe’ssogood,sokind.”
“Beinganempathmeansshefeelswhatyoufeel,includingyourpainandyourhorror.Andshemaybekind”—Faithsmiled—“butshe’sassuredlynotperfect.Askhermateifyoudon’tbelieveme.Butthat’sadecisionforyou.Astoourhelp,we’lldoourbest,butI’mnotsurehowmuchwecando.”
“AtleastIknowI’mnotcrazy.”Shetriedtosoundconfidentbutthetruthwas,shewasn’tsure.Maybeshewassanenow,butwhatifthenightmarevisionssucceededinchangingthat?Itmadeherfaceheatupinrawpanic,herheartstutter…andhereyessearchforthecoldcomfortofaPsylethalenoughtovanquishallherdemons.Herfaceflushedagain,butthistime,itwasn’tfearthatpromptedit.“CanIaskyouaboutsomethingelse?”
“Ofcourse.Brenna…”Faithseemedmomentarilylostforwords,awkward.“Iwouldcallyouafriend.”
Beforetoday,Brennawouldhavesaidthattherewerenotwowomenfurtherpart.Faithwasverycomposed,verytogether,whileshewasamess.Butnowsherealizedthatbothofthemknewwhatitwasliketobeforcedtobearwitnesstothingsthey’drathernotsee.“I’dlikethat.”
Faith’ssmilemadeherevenmorebeautiful.“Whatdidyouwanttoaskme?”
“It’sabout—”Shepaused,knowingthesecondsheaskedthisquestion,therewouldbenomorehidingfromthetruth—thatshe’dgonetoJuddforreasonsotherthanhisbeingPsy,reasonsthathadnothingtodowithpracticalityandeverythingtodowithhowhemadeherfeelasawoman.“Youwereconditionednottofeel.”
“Yes.AllPsyare.”
“Butyoubrokeit.Ihearditdidn’ttakeyouthatlongafteryoumetVaughn.”
Faith’snodwasslow.“IthinkIknowwhatyouwanttoask.”Theredhead’sexpressiongrewpensive.“Judd?”
Relievedatnothavingtoarticulatehercomplicatedandconfusingfeelingsforamanwhohadnone,shenodded.“He’sbeenoutmuchlongerthanyou,buthe’scompletelyshutin,completelySilent.”CHAPTER8
“ThedifferencebetweenusisthatbothSaschaandIhadourabilitiesturnonusinasense.Wehadtoembraceemotionordrown.Idon’tthinkthat’sthecasewithJudd.”
Youdon’tneedanymorenightmares.
“No.”Ithurthertorememberthebleakdarknessinhiseyes.“Hewasasoldier,Ithink.”
Faithseemedabouttosaysomething,butthenshookherheadasifclearingthethought.“Asidefromthat,he’smale.”
Brennahaddefinitelynoticedthatfact.She’dneverseenamanshewantedtostrokemorethanJudd.“Youthinkthatchangesthings?”
“Ifyou’daskedmewhileIwaspartofthePsyNet,Iwould’vesaidno,thatwe’reallthesame.Now”—shetookadeepbreathofthecoldair—“Iknowthattobealie.Menandwomenarefundamentallydifferent.Idon’tthinkitwasacoincidencethatthefirsttwotodropoutoftheNetbecauseofemotionwerefemale.”
Sheunderstoodthedistinctionatonce.“Judddefectedtoprotectthekidsfromrehabilitation,notbecausehefeltthingsheshouldn’t.”
“Yes.Butthatinitselfisahopefulsign—thathedidittoprotect.Ifhe—”Faithturnedaway.“Idon’tknowifIshouldsaythis.”
“Please.Hewon’ttalk.”Andadeep,unknownpartofherflatoutrefusedtodothesensiblethingandwalkaway.Sheknewthatawolfmale—abletogiveandacceptthetouchandaffectionsheneededtobefullyalive—wouldmakeherfarhappier.Butitwasn’tawolfmaleshewanted.
Faithrelented.“IfJuddwaswhoIthinkhewasintheNet,I’mfairlycertainhemusthavebeenofferedachancetoescapethesentenceofrehabilitation.Thathedidn’ttakeitbutembracedthelikelihoodofdeathtosavethechildren…well,thatsayssomethingaboutyourPsy,doesn’tit?”
BrennahadherownsuspicionsaboutwhoJuddhadbeeninhisotherlife,butshe’daskthosequestionstohisface.“Toreachthatpartofhim—”Shekickedatthesnow,sendingitsparkingintothesunshine.“He’sasstubbornasanywolf,andwiththeconditioningontopofthat—”
“Wouldyoulikesomeadvice?”
“Everythingyouhave.”
“Leaveit.”Faith’sexpressionwassolemn.“He’sprobablynevergoingtobreakSilence—he’sdoneandseentoomuchtochancefeeling.”
“No.”Shewouldnotbelievethat.“Itcanbebroken.”
“It’llhurt.Bothofyou.”Thevoiceofexperience.“And,Brenna,he’snotthekindofmanyouneed,toheal.”
Shegaveafrustratedlittlecry.“EveryonethinksIshouldbewrappedupincottonwoolandbabied—whenI’mnotbeingpitied,thatis!ButI’mnotamehousecat.Ineverhavebeen.Whatwasdonetomedidn’talterthat.I’mattractedtoJudd’sstrength—givemeanicegentlepuppydogofamanandI’ddrivehimtotearswithinthehour.”
Faith’slipscurvedupward,eyescrinklingatthecorners.“ThenIalmostpityJudd.”Leaningin,shewhispered,“Makehimuncomfortable.Don’ttakenoforananswer.Push.Pushhimuntilhelosescontrol.Remember,firemeltsice.”
Brennalookedintothoseeerienight-skyeyesasFaithdrewback.“Couldbeadangerousgame.”
“Youdon’tseemtobethekindofwomancontentwithsafeandeasy.”
“No.”Shealsowasn’tthekindofwomanwhogaveupatthefirstobstacle.JuddmightbecategoricallyPsy,butshewasaSnowDancer.
Almostelevenhourslater,JuddfoundhimselfthinkingofthewayBrennahadwatchedhimthatmorningastheymadetheirwaybacktotheden.Hergazehadbeensointent,ithadfeltdisconcertinglylikeatouch,nomatterhowimpossiblethatwas.However,thesecondtheyhadactuallyenteredtheden,she’dlefthimand—
Heshookhisheadinafutileattempttowipeherfromhismind.Hehadtoconcentrate.ThinkingaboutBrennahadadangerouswayofderailingthat.Shewasuptosomething,ofthathewascertain.Herexpressionhadbeen—
Focus!
Thechurchappearedontheothersideofthestreetlikeanarchitecturalspecter,remindinghimofwhohewasandwhathedidwhendarknessfellandpeoplethoughtthemselvessafeintheirbeds.Hewasn’tsodifferentfromEnrique—deathwashisgiftandtheonlythinghecouldofferBrenna.Thatthoughtfinallycementedhisfocus.Heextendedhisstride,concentratingontheyellowlightspillingfromthechurch’scurvedwindows.
HehadneverdecidedwhethertheGhosthadchosenthisastheirmeetingplaceoutofperversityorhope.Thechurchwassmall.IthadbeenbuiltaftertheSecondReformationhalfacenturyagoandwasfillednotwithstainedglassandcandles,butleafygreenplantsand,inthedaytime,brightsunshine.Tonightheenteredtofinditemptybutforasolitarywomankneelingatthealtar.Heslidintoapewattheback,hiseyesonthestarsvisiblethroughthetransparentdomeoftheroof.Itmadehimrememberwhathe’dgivenupwhenhe’dleftthePsyNet—thecooldarkness,theicyflareofmillionsofminds.
“Theyoungonesdon’tkneel,buttheoldgrewupinthetimeofRome.”Thevoicewasmaleandfullofthesamepeacethatsoakedthewallsofthisbuilding.Itwasthesinglethingthischurchhadincommonwiththemoreornatepre–SecondReformationchurches—thesenseofhushedreverence,aquietthatwassopervasiveitwasalmostsound.
Juddglancedatthemanwho’dtakenaseatbesidehim.“FatherPerez.”
Perezsmiled,teethflashingwhiteagainsthisteakskin.“Thatmakesmesoundlikeacandidatefortheseniorcitizens’pension.I’monlytwenty-nine.”WearingthewinteruniformofaSecondReformationpriest—loosewhitepantsandshirt,thelatterbearingapanelontheleftsidepatternedwithbluesnowflakes,helookedevenyounger.Itwastheknowledgeinhiseyesthatmadehimold.
Juddthoughtofhimnotasapriest,butasafellowsoldier.“It’syourtitle.”
“We’vebeenworkingtogetherforclosetosixyears.Whywon’tyoucallmeXavier?Evenourshyfriendcallsmebymygivenname.”
BecauseusingFatherPerez’sgivennamewouldbethefirststepontheroadtofriendshipandJudddidn’twantafriend.Todowhathedid,tobewhathewas,hehadtoretainhisdistance.Fromthosewhowouldbefriendsandtheonewomanwhomightbe…more.“Didhegiveyousomethingforme?”
Asigh.“Nomatterwhatyou’vedone,Judd,judgmentisnotyourstomake.”Perezpassedoveradatacrystalencasedinprotectiveplasglass.Thecrystalscostmorethantheubiquitousdiscs,buttheyweremoresecureandheldlargeramountsofdata.
Juddsliditintoaninnerpantspocket.“Thankyou.”Hedidn’tneedthedatafortonight’soperation,buthewouldforthenexthit.
“TheNewBooksaysGoddoesnotwishtopunishorharmus.Godwishesustolearnandgrow,tobecomebettersoulsthroughtheages.”
Tobelievethat,he’dhavetopossessasoul.“Whatabouttrueevil?”Juddasked,mindawashinmemoriesofablood-drenchedroomandawomanwithbruisesringingherneck.“Whatdoesyourbooksayaboutthat?”
“Thatgoodmenmustfighttheevilandthatbadmenwillbejudgedindeath.”
Juddlookedattheloneparishionerstillkneelingatthealtar.Shewassobbing,thesoundsoftandalmostapologetic.“Sometimes,evilneedstobejudgedinthemoment,beforeitkillsthegood,destroysalllight.”
“Yes.”Perez’seyeswenttothewoman.“ThatiswhyIsitwithyou.”
“Howdoyoubalancethetwohalvesofyourself—thepriestandthesoldier?”Thelightandthedarkness.Itwasnotaquestionheshould’veasked,notapossibilityheshould’veconsidered,butitwasdoneandnowhewaited.Becauseheneededtheanswer.
“Thesamewayyoubalanceyourtodaysandtomorrows.Withhopeandforgiveness.”Theothermanrose.“Imustcomforther.Onlyyoucancomfortyourself.”
JuddwatchedPerezwalkdownthewideaisleandkneeltoplacehisarmaroundtheshouldersofthewomanwhowept.Sheturnedintohisembrace,findingsuccor.Asimpleact,butonethatJuddwasincapableof.Hewasanakedblade,hispurpose—hisgift—tokill.Asachild,he’dbeendeemedunfittolivewithothersandrelocated,broughtupamongtheshadows.HehadnobusinessbeingintheSnowDancerdennowthattherestofthefamilywassafe,andabsolutelynorighttodowhathe’dbeendoingwithBrenna.
Andhehadbeenactivelydoing,allowinghertogetcloserthanheallowedanyotherbeing,comingperilouslyclosetobreachingSilence.Thatcouldnotbepermitted.Ever.BecausewhileBrennamightseehimasaman,thecold,hardtruthwasthathewasn’t—hewasanassassin.Trained.Honed.
Andblooded.
Remember,firemeltsice.
BrennablushedatthememoryofFaith’swordsandstraightenedhershortblackskirt.TeamedwithasoftV-necksweaterinred,itwasaperfectlyacceptableoutfit.Exceptthatthesweatercaressedhercurvesandtheskirtshapedherbottom.Herhairstilllookedlikehell,buttherestwoulddo.
Drewscowledwhenshewalkedthroughthelivingroomofthefamilyquarters,butlethergowithoutargument,probablyguessingshewasgoingtovisitoneofhergirlfriends—especiallysinceshe’ddeliberatelyhintedatthatearlier.Sheknewshewasprocrastinating,butshehadnotimetobringupthetopicofseparatequartersrightthen.Atleastherbrotherswerenolongertryingtoconfinehertoquartersnowthatshe’dshownshe’dtakeoffiftheytried.
Shegotseveralslowmalegrinsasshewalkeddownthecorridorandoneoutrightrequestforadate.Thoughshehadtorefuse,theinvitationbolsteredherconfidence—SnowDancermencouldbeincrediblycharmingwhentheyputtheirmindstoit.ToobadIseemtohaveafixationontheManofIce
IthadtakenheralldaytoworkupthecouragetofollowFaith’sadvice.Frankly,partofherremainedterrifiedthatshewouldn’tbeabletohandleanythingsexual.Itwasthefirsttimesincetherescuethatshe’devencontemplatedbeingwithaman,thefirsttimetheideahadn’tmadeherbreakoutinacoldsweat.SantanoEnriquehadtiedhertoabed,kepthernakedforhisexperiments,doneother,sickeningthings…thingsshewantedtoerasefromhermind.
“Breathe.”ReachingJudd’sdoor,sheunclenchedherhandsandrubbedthemonherskirtbeforeknocking.Thememoriesshecrushedintothatlockedboxinhermind.Shewasn’tsomevictim,shethought,bloodpoundingaharshdrumbeatinherskull,shewasanadultwolfinfullsensualglory.
“Judd,”shecalledsottovocewhenthedoorremainedclosed.Noresponse.Hernosebackedupthefactthathewasout—hisscentwastherebutnotasconcentratedasitwouldhavebeenhadhebeeninside.“Brenna,youidiot.”Shewantedtokickherself.Allthisnerve-wrackingpreparationandshehadn’tbotheredtocheckifhewasin.Nowwhat?
Returningtoherquarters—thankGodneitherofherbrotherswasstillhome—sheputthroughacalltoJudd’scellphone,expectingtofindhimelsewhereintheden.Itdidn’tconnect.“Turniton,”shemuttered,thenhungup.
Feelingatadpatheticatbeingalldressedupwithnowheretogo,shegotundressed,crawledintoherpj’sandtookoutabook—ahardcover—Rileyhadgivenherforherbirthday.
“Bloodyexpensive,”he’dsaid,buttherehadbeenagrininhiseyes.
Herelderbrotherdidn’tsmilelikethatanymore.SheknewheblamedhimselffornotkeepinghersafefromEnrique,despitethefactthattherewasnothinghecouldhavedone.Rileyhadalwaysbeenserious—tenyearshersenior,he’dprettymuchraisedbothherandDrew,withthepack’shelp,aftertheirparentsdied—butnowheneversomuchassmiled.Drewputonagoodfront,butherwonderful,funny,smartmiddlebrotherwassoangry.
Someoneknockedonherdoor.“Bren,youback,too?Wantsomepizza?”
Tearsprickedhereyesassheleanedagainstthemetalbarsoftheheadboardshe’dfashionedusingnineteenth-centurypatternsforinspiration.“What’reyoudoingeatingpizzaatthishour,AndrewLiamKincaid?”shesaid,forcingasmile.
Sureenough,Drewcrackedopenthedoortothrowheragrin.“I’magrowingboy.”
“Well,I’mnot,sodon’ttemptme.”Sheopenedthebook.“Shoo.”
“Yourloss,babysister.”Sendingheranothergrin,hepulledthedoorshut.
Shesqueezedhereyesclosedandthentookseveraldeepbreathstothinkpastthelumpchokingupherthroat.Butnomatterhowhardsheconcentrated,shewastooemotionallytornuptofocusonanything,muchlessthebookinherhands.AllshecouldthinkwasthatsheneededJudd,neededhimtoholdher.Sheknewthattobeafoolish,impossiblewish,buttheanimalinherdidn’tcare.Wherewashe?Shetriedcallinghimseveralmoretimes,untilfinally,shecouldnolongerfighttheenvelopingwingsofsleep.Whatawaitedherwasanythingbutrestful.
Ajumbleofsensoryinput,acridfearonhertongue,apulsatingkindofpanic.She’dmadeamistakeandnowithadtobecleanedup—
Snatchesofsound.Alaughingchild.Fear.Joy.Birthdaycake—
Hewassosexy,shewantedto—
Fear.Asalty/wrong/badscent.Itwasamess.Hadtobecleanedup—
Brennamoanedandturnedontoherside.Ifsomeonehadbeenintheroomwithher,theymight’venudgedherawake.Butshewasalone,andshewasdreamingininexplicablefragments,seeingbrokensnatchesofthought.Hermindsearchedforananchorandfoundthewayblocked.Itshouldn’thavebeen.
Amomentofclarity,ofanger:Heshouldn’thavedonethat!
Asecondlater,shewasdreamingagain.
Juddwalkedawayasthefirstflamesbegantorisebehindhim,handsthrustintohispocketsandheadcoveredbythepulled-uphoodofablacksweatshirtthatturnedhimfromArrowtohoodlum.Evenifhehadbeencaughtonsurveillanceequipment—highlyunlikely,givenhisskills—hisidentitywouldbeimpossibletodetermine.Tofurthermuddythewaters,he’dgonetoconsiderabletroubletoensuretheblastborenoPsyfingerprint,usingmaterialsavailabletohumansandchangelingsaswellasPsy.
Alarmssoundedbehindhim,followedbythehissofsprinklersystemsbeingdeployed.Thatposednothreat.He’ddesignedtheblastradiustotakeoutakeysectionwithoutrelianceonthedestructivepowersoffire.Nothinginsidethatsquareshouldbesalvageableifhisexplosiveshadfunctionedastheyweremeantto.Andhehadnodoubtsthattheyhad—afterall,he’dbeentrainedbyCouncilorMingLeBonhimself.CHAPTER9
Theguardsdidn’tnoticehistelekineticallyblurredbodyasheslidrightpastthemandintothefoura.m.darknessofthequietstreet.TheCouncilhadmadeacoldcalculationandlocatedthislabinasuburbanarea,believingthathere,amongcivilians,itwouldescapediscoveryandattack.Theyshould’veknownbetter.
Fadingintotheshadowsontheothersideofthestreet,hecheckedthebuildingsoneithersideofthelab,readytothrowupaTkshieldtoensuretheirsafety—because,unliketheCouncil,hedidn’tconsiderciviliancasualtiesnecessarycollateraldamage.Hiscautionprovedredundant.Notevenasparkhadescapedtheconfinesofthetargetcompound.
Aperfectstrike.
Lightsbeganflickingonupanddownthestreetashewatched.Atthesameinstant,securitypersonnelpoundedoutofthecompound,searchingforatrailthathadgonecoldthesecondafterhe’dwalkedout.Ithadtakenthematleasttwominutestorespond.Sloppy.Whoeverwasrunningthisophadbecomecockyaftergoingundetectedforoverayear.
ItwasexactlythereactionJuddandtheGhosthadplannedon.
Satisfied,hetookonelastlookattherapidlydyingflamesandturnedtocutthroughthemiddle-of-the-nightblackofafamily’sbackyard.Ashenegotiatedthegardenandswingset,hefoundhiseyesdrawntothestill-darkwindowonthesecondfloor.Thatroomheldachild,asmallhalf-human,half-changelingboywithmoreenergythancoordination.Juddhadseenhimseveraltimesduringhistripstoscoutthearea.
Thechild’spresencehadmadethedisguisedlabacrosstheroadevenmoreofanobscenity.Becausewhathadbeengoingoninthatplacewasmeanttodestroythemindsandlivesofchildrenjustlikethatboy.TheroomlightfinallycameonasJuddscaledthebackfencewithgraceevenacatmighthaveenvied,andlandedinanevendarkeryard.Noonewashomehereandwouldn’tbeforseveraldays.He’ddonehishomework.
Deactivatingthealarmedlocktookhimaquarterofaminute.Onceinside,hestoodwithhisbacktothedoorway,notgoinganyfarther.Thesepeoplehadn’tinvitedhiminandhewouldn’tviolatetheirrefuge.However,whenhetriedtorelaxhisbodyandmindwithoutfallingasleep—atrickallsoldierslearnedearlyon—hefoundhecouldn’t.Therewaspressureonthebackofhisskull,ahardpushhemight’vetakenforanattempttopenetratehisshieldshadthepressurenotseemedtocomefrominsidehismind.
Herecheckedhisbasicarmoragainstpsychicattack.Nocracks.Hewasabouttogodeeperwhenthepressuresimplyhalted.Unabletofollowitanylonger,heputtheproblemdowntoalackofsleepandsenthismindintorest-and-repairmode.Hisconcentrationwassotightlyfocused,itwasnowonderhemissedthetelltalesignatureinthatmentalpush,aharbingerofsomethingfarmoredangerousthananyPsyweapon.
Threehourslater,heleftthehousetoblendseamlesslyintothesteadystreamofearlymorningjoggersandwalkers.MorethanonechangelinghadpointedoutthathelookedPsyevenwhendressedotherwise,sohe’dspenttimewatchingyounghumanandchangelingmales,andnowaffectedtheircarelessswagger.Butitwasn’tnaturalforhim—hewasasoldier,withasoldier’sbearing,andthatwouldneverchange.
HepassedseveralPsypatrolswithoutincident,awaretheywereillegallymind-scanningeveryonewhopassed.Whattheywouldreadoffhimwerethefuzzythoughtsofahungoverhumanmale.Meanwhile,henotedeverythingaboutthem.TheirblackuniformswereindistinguishablefromotherunitsinthePsyforces,butforthesmallgoldinsigniaontheleftshoulder—twosnakestwistedincombat.
Herecognizeditatonce.ThesemenwerepartofMingLeBon’sprivatearmy.WhichmeantthatCouncilorLeBonhadbeenplacedinchargeofthislittleenterprise.Notwhathewould’veexpected,givenNikitaDuncan’sproximitytothearea.Ming’shomebase,ontheotherhand,wasinEurope.
UnlessMinghaddecidedtorelocate…perhapstotrackdownarebelArrow.
Juddstillwasn’tbackwhenBrennawenttofindhimafterwakingfromnightmare-laceddreamsthathadlefthersweatyandgritty-eyed.“Whereareyou?”Shewantedtocry,shewasthatdesperateforhim.
Cry?
Thereactionwassounlikeher,itslappedherfullyawake.Frowning,shemadeaconsciousefforttopullherselftogether.Shewasn’toneofthosefemaleswhowasconstantlyinheat.Thoughifshewere,sheknewwhoshewouldchoosetorubupagainst.Thathardsoldier’sbodymadeherwanttodoallsortsofdeliciouslyeroticthings—shewonderedifhehadenoughsparefleshonhimtobiteorifherteethwouldslideoff.
“Hello…EarthtoBrennaShane.”Indigo’scuriousfacecameintoherlineofsight.“Whyareyoustandingzonedoutinthemiddleofthecorridor?”
Brennahopedhercheeksweren’tasredastheyfelt.Whatwasgoingon?Sure,shewasattractedtoJudd,butthisrawsexualhungerwaslikenothingshe’deverbeforeexperienced.“Ah…”Herdisruptednighthadmadeherabitslow.Wait,thatwastheanswer.“Iwantedtotalktoyou.”
Indigojerkedathumboverhershoulder.“Walkwithme.I’mofftoamorningsessionwithHerMajesty.”
“Who?”
“Sienna‘I’macardinalPsyanddon’tneedcombattraining’Lauren.Damnjuveniles.Theyallthinkthey’reinvincible.”Indigoscowled.“Sowhat’sup?”
“Themurder,”shesaid,wonderingifJuddknewabouthisniece’srecalcitrance.“Doyouhaveanymoreinformation?”
Indigo’sfaceclosedover.“That’sonaneed-to-knowbasisandlasttimeIlooked,youweren’tpartofSecurity.”
“Iqualify.”Brennasetherjaw.“WasitaPsy?”
Tohersurprise,Indigorespondedwithoutfurtherargument.“Inconclusive.Nodistinctivescent,butweallknownoteveryPsygivesoffthatmetallicsmell.”
NoneoftheLaurensdid.Indigodidn’thavetopointoutwhichoneofthefamilyhadtheskilltocommitthecrime.Heartchilling,Brennagrippedthelieutenant’sarm.“Youdon’tseriouslythinkitcould’vebeenJudd.Hewouldn’t—”
“Howwelldoyouknowhim,Brenna?”Indigoshookherhead.“Theman’safuckingshadow.No,Idon’tthinkitwashim—ifithadbeen,wewouldhaveneverfoundabody—butyou’rekiddingyourselfifyouthinkheisn’tcapableofexecutingsomeone.”
Brenna’sgutwasahugeknot.“Couldithavebeenoneofus?”
“Youdidn’thearthisfromme.”Indigo’snamesakeeyesnarrowed.“Hell,Idon’tknowwhyI’mtellingyou—maybetopissoffyourbrothers.Whydoyouletthemgetawaywiththatoverprotectiveshit?”
Shedidn’twanttogotheretoday.“YouweretellingmeaboutTimothy.”
Theotherwomansnorted.“Charmingsonofabitch.Hadatalentforsweet-talkinghiswayintobedsheshouldn’thavebeenin.”
“That’snotamotive.”Wolfchangelingswerehighlysexualandsinglepackmatesoftenhoppedbeds.Asformatedpairs,theydidn’tcheat.Ever.“Ifsomeonewasmadoverastolenlover,theywould’vejustchallengedhimtoprovedominance.”Afightbutnottothedeath.
“Yeah,Ithinksotoo,butit’salead.Andthatwasn’ttheonlymesshegothimselfinto.Timmyhadindicationsofdruguse.Ifhe,forwhateverreason,threatenedtoexposethepiece-of-shitdealeranditwasoneofus…well,everyoneknowsHawke’sviewondrugs.”
Brennanodded.“Hewould’veslicedthebastardopen.”Thatoneofherownpackcouldbeevilenoughtodealdrugsstaggeredher.“Itwasn’tJax,wasit?”sheaskedwithafreshwaveofhorror.“Hewasn’tmessedup.”ThePsydrughadadevastatingeffectonchangelingbodies,leavingthemtrappedmidshift.Deathfollowedindaysifnothours.
“No.”Indigogaveadistastefulshiver.“RubyCrush,streetname,Rush.”
Adrugdevelopedbyachangelingpieceofverminandadaptedtotheirphysiology.“Itboostsnormalphysicalstrengthduringthehigh,right?”
“Asitscramblesthebrain.”Indigoshookherhead.“Rushfreaksturnintowitless,gigglingidiots.Timhadtohavebeenverycareful.Nooneeversawhimhigh.”Sheglancedathertimepiece.“Gottogo.TellJuddIneedtotalktohimifyouseehim.”
Brennanodded,buthourspassedandJudddidn’tappear.Herfrustrationturnedtoworry,thenjackknifedintoanger.Wherethehellwasheandwhycouldn’thehavecalled?
…You’rekiddingyourselfifyouthinkheisn’tcapableofexecutingsomeone.
…He’snotthekindofmanyouneed…
Shetriedtoignorethevoices,butpartofherlistened.Partofherfinallybegantosee.
JuddmettheGhostbeneathFatherPerez’schurch,havingshoweredandchangedinthesmallroomPerezkeptforsituationslikethis.Itwasn’tyetnoon,butitmightaswellhavebeenmidnightinthecenturies-oldcryptunderthelight-filledbuilding.
“Whydoyouthinksomehumansfeeltheneedtointertheirdead?”Thevoicecamefromtheblackpoolwheretwocornersmet.“Changelingslettheirdeadturntodust.”
Juddhadneitherthetimenortheinclinationtoengageinaphilosophicaldiscussion.HewantedtoreturntothedenandseeifBrennawasokay.ThetalkwithFaithhadappearedtohelpher,butifshe’dhadmoreofthosedreams,shecouldbeintrouble.Andhewastheonlyoneshetrustedenoughtocometofor…comfort.
“Arethereotherlabs?”heaskedpoint-blank,wellawarethathisurgencytoseeBrennawasaminorbreachofSilence,thefirststepontheroadtotemptation.Hewouldn’ttouchher,hejustified,simplymakesureofherwelfare.
“Ofcourse,buttheoneyoudisabledthismorningwasthemostimportant.”
“Areyoucertain?WithMinginvolved,wecouldbelookingatEurope.”
“No,theCouncilwould’vepreferredthat—there’saproblemwiththeirheadscientist,AshayaAleine,refusingtorelocate.”
“Mustbesomethingbigiftheyhaven’toverriddenherobjections.”NoonestoodagainsttheCouncilwithouteitheranunimpeachablereasonoranaceinthehole.
“I’mworkingonit—they’vegotablackoutaroundher.Everything’sclassified.”
“Doyouknowherdesignation?”
“Gradient9.9M-Psy.”
“Rare.”MostPsythatpowerfultendedtocrossthe0.1boundaryoverintocardinalrank.Juddhadalwaysconsideredhisown9.9Tkstatusanadvantage.Thetelekinesis,whencombinedwithhis9.4abilityintelepathy,madehimfarmoreofathreatthanmanyacardinal.Yethedidn’thavethenight-skyeyesthatbetrayedhispower.Whenhetriedveryhard,hecouldevenappearharmless.“Howmuchdamagedidwedo?”Itmight’veonlybeenafewhours,butdatatraveledfastintheNet.
“Unconfirmedreportsstatetheprototypewasdestroyed.Ifthat’strue,it’lltakethematleastsixmonthstoreconstructit.However,ifwetakeAleineoutoftheequation,wesetthembackyears.She’sthebrainsbehindtheentireproject.”
Juddhadkilledbefore.Andhe’ddonesowithcleanefficiency.Notoneofhishitshadeverbeenlabeledanexecution,muchlesstracedbacktotheArrowSquad.“I’llneedmoredatabeforeImakethatdecision.”Henolongertrustedanyonewhenitcametothisaspectofhisabilities.
“Iwanttoholdoffinanycase.Wemayendupneedingtheinformationinherhead.”Apause.
Judd’sneedtoreturntothedenpushedathimtofinishthisandleave.“What?”
“I’veheardrumorsthatAleinemightnotbeinfullsupportofProtocolI.”
Thatshewasthescientistinchargeofdevelopingtheimplantnonethelesswasnocontradictioninterms—theCouncilhadwaysofensuringcooperation.“Whatarethechancesofturningher?”
“Slimtonone.She’sbeenintheCouncilsubstructuresincesheturnedseventeen.Herentirefamilyconsistsofafour-year-oldson.KeenanAleinelivesoff-siteinanapartmentinSanDiego.”
“Withhisfather?”Psyborechildrenaspartoffertilizationcontracts.Custodydependedonthetermsoftheindividualcontract.
“No.ThechildisunderCouncilprotection.LivesinthesamebuildingastheRika-Smythefamilygroup.”
“Convenient.”
“Thatwasmythought.I’llattempttoconfirm.”
Juddbegantoheadfortheexit.“Sendmethedatawhenyouhaveit.”
TheSnowDancertunnelswererelativelyquietwhenhegotback,butheranintoIndigoalmostimmediately.Suspicionwasahardedgeinhereyes.
“WherewereyouthenightTimdied?”
Itwasanunexpectedquestion.CircumstanceshadledhimtobelievetheSnowDancerlieutenanttrustedhim.Clearly,he’dbeenwrong.“Alone.Inmyquarters.Andno,thatcan’tbeverified.Pityyoudon’thaveaJustice-Psyherewillingtoscanme.”
“Oh,forcrissakes,don’tgivemeanyshit.”Indigoglared.“I’vehadituptoherewithmenandtheirattitudes.Ihadtoask,youknowthat.”Thenshewasgone.
Notcompletelycertainwhathadjusttakenplace,Juddcontinuedontohisrooms.Orthathadbeenhisintention.Halfwaythere,herealizedhewasheadingtoBrenna’sinsteadandthathisneedtoseeherwasnominorfaultintheconditioning.
Hestopped—hecouldn’tallowhimselfnearherwhenhewasthisclosetowhatcouldbealethaledge.Ittookconsciousefforttoputhimselfbackonthecorrectpath.Buthehadn’tbeeninsidehisroomfiveminuteswhentherewasaknockonthedoor.Heknewwhoitwas.Thatknowledgedidn’tkeephimfrompullingthedooropen.
Brennapushedpasthimandintotheroom,handsonherhips.Thereweredarkshadowsunderhereyes,linesaroundthecornersofhermouth.
“Youhadmoredreams.”Heshutthedoorthoughhisbrainwassparkingwithallsortsofwarningsignals.
Sheblewoutabreathbetweenpursedlips.“Wherehaveyoubeen?”sheaskedinsteadofconfirminghisguess.
Hewasn’taccustomedtoanyonewaitingforhim.Thefactthatshehad,causedenoughofareactionthathefoldedhisarmsandleanedagainstthedoor.“Noneofyourbusiness.”
“Noneofmy—”Sheclenchedherfists.“Wouldithavehurtyoutoleaveyourphoneon?”
He’dbeenoperatingunderfullsilence—thelabhadhadsomeincrediblycomplexintrusiondetectionsystems.“Itdidn’toccurtomethatyou’dattemptcontact.”Itwasthetruth.Hewasusedtowalkingalone,tosurvivingalone.Itwasanecessaryadjunctofhisparticularability.ButBrennahadnotonlynoticedhisabsence,shehadworried.
Hisreactiontoherintensified…enoughtocauseamildpainresponse.PaintriggerswereanintegralpartofSilence.Brutalizeachildforsomethingandhesoonlearnedtostopdoingit.Evenifthatmeantshuttingdownhisownemotions.Thatreminder,ratherthanthepain,waswhatmadehimsaywhathedid.“YouandIhavenorelationshipthatimpliesacommitmenttoconstantavailability.”
Brenna’svoicewasharshwhenshereplied.“Don’tyousaythat.Wehavesomethinganddon’tyoutrytopretenditdoesn’texist.”
Heunfoldedhisarms.“Wehavenothing.”Becausehecouldgivehernothing,noteventhecomfortshesoobviouslyneeded.Thecomfortshe’dwaitedallnighttofindwithhim.Ratherthanbeingthereforher,he’dbeenoutdoingviolence.“You’reclingingtomebecauseIhelpedyouduringthehealingprocess.It’sanormalpsychologicalreaction.”
“Youarenotlikeeveryonesays.”Sherefusedtodrophereyes.“Iseeyou.”
“YouseewhatIchoosetoshowyou.”Hemovedawayfromthedoor.“It’llbebetterforbothofusifyouspeaktoFaithorSaschathenexttimeyouhaveaquestion.Youappeartobegettingtooemotionallyattachedtome.”
Sheactuallygrowledathim,alowthroatysoundthatseemedincongruouscomingfromherslenderthroat.“IfIwasaviolentwoman,I’dclawyouforthat.”
Heheldhergaze.“Nomatterhowhardyoupush,I’llremainPsy.SilenceiswhoIam.”TheProtocolhadsavedhimfrombecomingaserialmurdererbyturninghimintoasanctionedkiller.Sometimestherewerenogoodchoices.“Gofindachangelingtogiveyouwhatyouneed.Icandowithoutthedisruptions.”CHAPTER10
Stridingacrosstheroom,shepulledopenthedoor.“Youknowwhat,IthinkIwill.”Withthat,shewasgone,stridingdownthecorridorintightjeansandaredsweaterthatdrewmaleeyestoherbody.ItwasonlywhenoneofthoseadmiringmalestrippedoverthinairthatJuddrealizedhewasusinghisTk.Heslammedthedoorshutbeforehecoulddoanymoredamage.
Afinelytunedspikeofpainspearedthroughhisskull,signalingadetectablebreachinhisconditioning.Hedidn’twanttofixit,didn’twanttostophisdescentintochaos.Whathewantedwastohurtthemenwho’ddaredlookather.
Thethinlinethatsnakeddownthewallinfrontofhimappearedasinsubstantialasapencildrawing,butitwasahairlinefracturethatcouldturnintoafullbreakwithalittlemorepressure.Justlikehismind.Hemanagedtocontroltheunrestrainedflowoftelekineticpowerbeforehecausedthewalltocollapse,buttherupturewasenoughtodemonstrateexactlyhowclosehewastoacatastrophiclossofcontrol.Ifhedidn’tfixthefaultinhisconditioning,itcouldmeandeathforhundredsintheden—adults,children…Brenna.
Sweatdrippeddownhisspineashebackedupandsatontheedgeofthebedtobeginrepairingthemajorflaws.ThefinerfracturesthatriddledthepreviouslyhardcasingofSilencewouldhavetowaituntilhewascalmer.Rightthen,hisconcentrationwasshot.HecouldstillsmellBrenna’spsychicscentintheair.
Shewasheatandwoman,fearandcourage,sensualityandlaughter.
Andshewasnothis.
Ifhetriedtochangethat,he’dendupkillingher.Becausehewasn’tanythingassimpleasaTk.HewasaTk-Cell,asubdesignationsorare,itwasn’tlistedonanypublicrecord.AfterSilence,Tk-CellshadbecometheCouncil’sdirtylittlesecret,theirmostlethalassassins.BeforeSilence,beforetheimpositionofcontrol,thoseofhissubdesignationhadalwaysendedupmurderers,killingtheirwivesanddaughtersfirst.Itwasasiftheirabilitysnappedouttostrikeattheonlyoneswhomighthavepulledthembackfromtheabyss.
Juddmadehisdecisionthenandthere.HehadtoleavethedenbeforeBrennaunknowinglysetoffhisabilities.Shehadnoideaofthehorrorshecouldunleash.
Hewasn’tanassassinbychoice.Hewasonebecausehecouldn’tbeanythingelse.
JuddfoundHawkebeforedawnthenextmorning,havingspentthepreviousafternoonandnightsealingupthecracksinhisconditioning—itwasallthatprotectedthosearoundhimfromthekillingrageofhisability.“Iwantout,”hetoldthealpha.Hewasn’tusedtoaskingforpermission,wouldhavejustwalkedouthadhebeenalone,buthewasn’t.HisunexplaineddisappearancewouldimpactWalker,Sienna,andthekids’positionintheden.
Hawkeraisedaneyebrow.“Whatdoesyourfamilythinkaboutthatdecision?”
“Theyhavenothingtodowithit.”Acompletetruth.“Walker’ssettledandabletosteerthemthroughanyturbulence.I’madisruptiveinfluence.”Astherecentmurderhadshown,anytimethingswentbadlywrong,eyeslookedtowardthePsy,towardhim.“Allofthemhaveintegratedintothepacktosomeextent.”Whilehe’dmadeeveryeffortnotto.
TheSnowDanceralphadidn’tlookconvinced.“Whynow?”
Juddhadalreadydecidedtotellatruth.Itwassimplynottheonethatmattered.“IntheNet,Iheldarankequaltothoseofyourlieutenants.Iknewthatshouldwesurviveourdefection,I’dlosethat.ItwasapriceIchosetopay.”Tosavethechildrenfromthelivingdeaththatwasrehabilitation.
“Sowhat’schanged?”
“Ididn’tcountonthefactthattheenforcedidleness,theeffectualcagingofmyabilities,wouldhaveaconsequence.”Alsotrue.Despitethecovertworkhe’dbeendoing—bothfortheGhostandtoearnincomeforthefamily—thepressurewasbuilding.Itwas,hetoldhimself,thereasonwhyBrennahadbeenabletocrackhisshieldswithrelativelylittleeffort.He’dalreadybeencompromised.“Thoseidlepsychicmusclesneedtobestretchedorthey’llbegintoactwithoutmyconsciouscontrol.”
“Likeourbeasts.”
“Yes.”He’dseenwolvesgorogue,seenthedamagetheycoulddo.“Butworse.”
“I’mnotbuying.”Hawkeleanedbackagainstthedarkwoodofhisdesk,paleeyesmorewolfthanhuman.“IrecognizecontrolwhenIseeit.Andyoursisprecision-tuned.”
Nootheroptionwasfeasibleforhissubdesignation.However,thatwasn’tsomethingHawkeneededtoknow.“You’veguessedatmypositionintheNet,”hesaidinstead.“IwaswhoIwasbecausemyabilitieslieincombat.Suchaggressiveabilitieshavetobeutilizedonaregularbasistowardofflossofcontrol.”
“Howareyouplanningtodothat?”Noovertsuspicion,buttheimplicationwasthere.
Forafleetingsecond,Juddconsideredcallingattentiontotheinsult,butthenstifledthereactionasirrelevant.Tothewolves,hewasanenemy,notafellowsoldier.“IhavenointentionofrejoiningthePsyNet—itwouldmeandeathformyfamilyshouldtheCouncilrealizeweweren’texecutedwhenwewalkedintoyourterritory.Ican,however,blendinwiththegeneralpopulaceandgofreelance.”
“Aswhat?”
Hemetthosecoldwolfeyes.“Asamanwhocleansupcertainkindsofmesses,whatelse?”Abrutalchoicebutonethatwouldservetokeephisabilitiesincheck.
“Ican’tletanassassinlooseonthefuckingpublic.”Hawkeshovedahandthroughhairalmostidenticaltothesilver-goldcolorofhispeltinwolfform.
Judddidn’tseetheneedtopointoutthathe’dalreadybeenworkingformonthswithoutsettingoffalarms.Theclientsneversawhim.Henevermetthem.Andhedidn’tkillforthem.Notyet.“Nowetwork,”hesaid.“I’dworkinsurveillanceandprotectioninthisstateforthenextthreeorfouryears.”
UntilSiennabecamecapableoftakingoversomeofwhathedidtokeeptheLaurenNetfunctional,hecouldn’tgofar.ThefamilialNetlinkedhimtohisfamilyandgeneratedenoughbiofeedbacktokeepthemallalive.NoPsycouldsurvivewithoutthatfeedback.Ifheputdistancebetweenhimselfandtheothers,itwouldstrainthealreadythinfabricofanetworkmadeupofonlyfiveminds,leavingmoreroomformistakes.“Iwon’tpracticemyprofessioninyourterritory.”
“WhathappenswhenSiennagrowsup?”Hawkeaskedastutely.
“I’mconsideringmercenaryworkintheAfricanstates.”Inthedeepest,darkestjungleswherechangelingsheldswayandwheretherewerenoPsy,noonewhomightpossiblyrecognizehim.Andnowomanwithsunshineinhersmile.Hecrushedthatthoughtwithmercilessreality—thedayBrennatrulysawhim,thedayshediscoveredthethingshehaddone,hewouldlosehersmileanyway.
“Thereisanotheroption.”Hawke’seyeswerepredator-still,watchful.“YoucouldworkasaSnowDancersoldier.Thatwouldallowyoutouseyourabilities,correct?”
“Enoughtoblowoffthemostdangeroussteam.”Theinstantthewordslefthislips,Juddknewheshould’velied.Sowhyhadn’the?Helookedinwardandfoundhisshieldssolid.Yetsomethingwasmakinghimbehaveinoppositiontohisowndecisiontoleavetheden.“However,it’snotaviableoptioninmycase.Noneofyoutrustme—itwouldbeafarce.”
“Trusthastobeearned.”
“MostchangelingshatethePsy.SnowDancersgoastepfurther.”AfterhavingseenEnrique’shandiwork,Juddcouldn’targuewiththeirreaction.
Hawkedidn’tdisputehisanalysis.“YouhelpedgetBrennaout—that’sagoodenoughplacetostart.Iwantyoudoingsoldierwork.”
Itwastheoneresponsehehadn’tfactoredintohisplans.“Iwouldhavethoughtyou’dthrowapartyatthethoughtofgettingridofme.”
“Thealphainmesaysyoucouldcomeinveryhandy.”
JuddknewwhyHawkewantedhisabilities.ItwasthesamereasonthePsyCouncilhad.Apetassassinwasnotsomethingthoseinpowerwantedtolose.“IfIdecline?”
Hawke’seyesgleamed.“ThenIwithdrawsafeharborforWalker.”
Onlytheadult.Notthechildren.ItwasmorethantheCouncilhadofferedandJuddhadbathedinbloodforthem.“Fine.”Hesilencedthepartofhimthatquestionedhiseasycapitulation.Walkerhadnoneedofhisprotection—hisbrothercouldsavehimself.“ButIwantthesameautonomyastherestofyoursoldiers.”Nomorechains,nomorecages.
“Youhavenothingtobargainwith.”
“Ihavemyskills.”Itwasn’tathreat.Notyet.
AlowgrowlemanatedfromHawke’sthroat,asifhisbeasthadsensedthedanger.Buthisvoice,whenitcame,wascalm.“Mostmenwould’velosttheirtemperbynow.Isureashellwould’vegoneforthethroat.”
“I’mnotmostmen.”Sometimes,hewasn’tevensurehewashuman,notamonster.“Ofcourse,ifIwantrevenge,I’llsimplysendSiennayourway.”HisniececouldmakeHawkelosehiscoolfasterthananyothermanorwomanintheden.“She’sbeeninaparticularly…interestingmoodsinceyouforcedhertotrainwithIndigo.”
Hawke’sfacedarkened.“Keepthatdamnbratawayfromme—she’smoretroublethanapackofrabidcats.”Hereachedbehindhimselfforamap.“Ineedamantokeepaneyeonsomestuffintheeasternquadrant.”
JuddwalkedovertolookatthelargesheetofplaspaperasHawkerolleditopenacrosshisdesk.“Isolatedarea,nohabitationwithinmiles,”hesaid,orientinghimself.“Includesasegmentoftheouterperimeter.”Thatperimeterwastheden’sfirst—iffarthest—lineofdefense.Thatputhisplacementthereinanewlight.Atest?
Hawkepointedtothebordersection.“We’vehadreportsofpeopleencroaching.Mightbehumanornonpredatoryteenagersplayingchicken,butweneedtoknowifit’ssomethingmore.Nounnecessarycontact.Ineedintelligencebeforewemakeamove.
“Ifitiskids,agoodscarewillmakethemmindtheirmanners.Ifit’sadultsfromapredatoryspecies,theyknowtherules.”Thatunauthorizedaccessmeantdeath.TheSnowDancersweren’tparticularlyforgivingandJuddhadseenthebodiestoproveit.Itwaswhytheyhadnotonlysurvived,butbecomethemostpowerfulpackinCalifornia.
“Understood.”Rustysectionsofhismindstretchedawakeinanticipation.
“It’sprettydamnlonelyoutthere.”Hawkeglancedup.“Youmightnottouchanotherpersonforweeks.I’llsetyouonarotation—twoweeksout,oneweekin.Mostofmypeopleinisolatedareasdoitthatway.”
“Touchisachangelingneed.”Asimportant,apparently,aseatingandbreathing.He’dobservedhowaggressivetheybecamewithoutit.DuringBrenna’srecovery,she’doftenbeensurroundedbypackmates.
Whatveryfewknewwasthatinthehardestsessions,theoneswhereshe’dwantednooneinherpacktoseeher,buthadneededthetactilecontact,itwasJuddwhohadheldher.Oddly,shehadgrantedhimskinprivileges—therighttotouch—almostfromthestart.Ithadbeenthefirsttimehe’dhadsuchsustainedcontactwithanother.She’dbeensoft.Warm.Trusting.AndhighlydisturbingtohisPsysenses.
“I’mdesignedtoworkalone.”Nature’sgifttohim.
Hawketookhimathisword.“There’sanoldcabinhere.”HeindicatedaspotclosetotheboundarythatdelineatedtheareaintowhichtheSnowDancerswouldacceptnounauthorizedentry.Theirterritorywassobroadthatitcoveredseveralregionswhereotherspecieslivedandworked,andtheyweremorelenientaboutaccessinthosesections,butthemassivetractofheavilyforestedlandstretchingoutinalldirectionsfromthedenwassacrosanct.“It’sfullyequippedwithcommequipment.Youcanuseitasabase.”
Juddleftwithinthehour,havingdecidedtocovertheconsiderabledistanceonfootwiththeaidofhisTkabilities.Itwouldbothspeedhimupandservethepurposeofreleasingsomeofthepsychicenergybuiltupinhissystem.
Ashebeganrunningacrossthesnowataspeedthatwould’veshockedthewolves,heconsideredBrenna’sprobablereactiontohissuddendeparture.Shewasconfidentenough,hadenoughwolfarrogancethatshe’dbeconsiderablyannoyedifhewasn’ttherewhenshecamelooking.However,giventhathewasnolongerhersolesourceofinformationaboutPsy-relatedmaterial—andespeciallyafterwhathe’dtoldhertodoyesterday,shemightnotevennoticethathe’dleft.
Hishandstightenedonthestrapsofhispack.Rationalizingawaytheactionasnecessarytosecurethelightburden,hekickeduphisspeeduntilhewasmovingtoofasttoconcentrateonanythingbutavoidingtheobstaclesinhispath.
Brennaknewsomethingwaswrongthesecondshewoke.ShebecameconvincedofitwhenAndrewgaveherabiggrinatbreakfast.He’dbeeninashittymoodeversinceshe’dreturnedfromfightingwithJuddyesterday,havingfoundoutexactlyhowmuchtimeshe’dbeenspendingwiththeman.Theyhadhadsuchablazingrowoveritthatshe’dspenttherestofthedaywithLucyandacoupleofotherfemalefriends,disgustedwiththewholemaleraceingeneral.Butnowherbrotherwasactingeerilycheerful.
“Whatdidyoudotohim?”sheaskedwithouttheleastattemptatsubtlety.
Andrewmanagedtolookhurt,stoppingwithhiscoffeehalfwaytohislips.“Nothing.Ican’tbelieveyouaskedmethat.”
She’dbeenhissistertoolongtofallfortheact.“SpillitorI’mgoingoverthere.”
“Fine.”Grinning,hestartedtodrinkhiscoffeewithovertenjoyment.
Terrifiedthatherbrothersreallyhaddonesomething,shealmostrantoJudd’sroom.Again,thescentwasofemptiness.Heartthuddingtriple-time,shetrieddesperatelytoconvinceherselfhe’djustdoneoneofhisirritatingdisappearingacts.
“Isethimonawatch.”
Startledbythatfamiliarvoice,sheswiveledtofaceHawke.“Where?”
“Whyisthatanyofyourbusiness?”Pale,paleblueeyeswatchedherwithoutblinking.
Shefistedherhands.“Don’t,”shewhispered.“Don’tplaygameswithme.”Hawkekneweverythingthatwentoninhisdomain.
“Ayearago,youwouldn’thavedaredspeaktomelikethat.”
Ayearago,she’dbeensomeoneelse.“Thingshavechanged.”
“Icanseethat.”Hedidn’tsoundasifheminded.“Butyourbrotherscan’t.DropthisthingwithJuddbeforeyoupushthemtoofar.”
“You’remyalpha,notmykeeper.Ialreadyhavetwoofthose.Twotoomany.”
Heactuallysmiled—alphasrespectedspine.Todemandunquestioningobediencewasthesignofabadleader.“YourPsyisintheeasternquadrant.I’llgiveyouamap.”
Shehadn’treallyexpectedananswer—HawkedespisedthePsyasmuchasherbrothersdid—butnowthatshehadit,shepushedforevenmore.“WillyoustopDrewandRileyfromcomingafterme?”
“They’lltrytotraceyou.”Reachingout,heranhisknucklesoverhercheek.
Sheallowedthetouch,becauseHawkewassafe—asherbrothers,despitetheirpigheadedness,weresafe.“Iremember,youknow,Irememberthatyouallcameforme.ThatyouheldmewhenIwoke.”Riley,hertough,stoicolderbrotherhadhadtearsinhiseyes.Drewhadtoldheroff,suchloveineveryharshword,andHawke,he’djusttouchedher,letherscentPackandknowshewashome.“I’llneverforget,butIneedtorunfree.”
“Iknow,sweetheart.”Droppinghishand,hegaveheraninscrutablelook.“Ihaven’ttoldanyoneelseaboutJudd’slocation.You’llhavemaybefourdaysbeforeyourbrotherstrackyoudownifyouleavenowandtakeoneoftheall-wheeldrives.You’llhavetoshiftandrunthelastpart,butyoushouldstillbeathimthere.He’sonfoot.”
Theideaofrunningasawolfmadeherwanttobreakoutinacoldsweat.Shefoughtthereaction,whichwouldbeinexplicabletoanyotherchangeling.IfHawkesensedit,hewouldn’tstopuntilhe’dstrippedhermostshamefulsecretfromheranditwassomethingshewantednoonetoknow.“Fourdays?”
“Thecatsowemeafavorortwo.I’llgetSaschatosayyou’rewithher.IfIknowyourbrothers,they’llgiveyouthreedaysbeforetheydecidetopayafriendlyvisit.”
Smiling,sheputherhandsonhisshouldersandreachedupontiptoetokisshischeek.“Thankyou.”
Heheldhertohim.“Yousureaboutthis,Bren?”
“Yes.”CHAPTER11
ReturningtothefamilyquarterswithHawkebyherside,shesniffedpasthersmugbrothersandpackedabag.Whenshecameoutofherroom,DrewwasscowlingandRileylookedflat-outpissed.
“Don’teventrytostopme,”shesaid.“Ineedtobeawayfromyoutwo.”
“Wedidn’tdoanything.”Drewthrewuphishands.“Idon’tthinkyoushould—”
“Ifyoudon’tletmegotoday,IswearI’mmovingbacknearthecampus.”Tothehillsideapartmentshe’dtakensuchprideinbeforeEnriquehadcomeintoherlifeandturnedherintoaterrifiedlittlemousetooscaredtoleavetheden.Well,nomore!
Rileyswore.“Thosecatsbettertakegoodcareofyou.”
“Saschawon’tletthemdootherwise,”Hawkesaid,slightlymollifyinghersiblings.“Comeon,Bren.I’llwalkyoutothecar.”HeshookhisheadwhenDrewandRileytriedtofollow.Neitherlookedhappy,buttheyobeyed.
Sighing,shewentbackandkissedthemboth.“Ineedtobecomeawolfagain.”Truerthananyoneknew.“I’llseeyouinafewdays.”
“Don’tletanyofthoseleopardssweet-talkyou,”Drewmuttered,huggingher.“Onescratch,onefuckingscratch,andI’llripouttheirguts.”
“I’llbefine.”Whenhefinallylethergo,shepickedupherbagandmadeherescape.“Ifeelsoguilty,”shemutteredwhenshewassuretheywereoutofearshot.
“Don’t.”Hawkeledherdowntothegaragelevelafterasmalldetourtopickupthemap.“You’reafull-grownwolf,notapup.”
Stoppingbesidetheforest-adaptedvehicle,shethrewherbagintotheback.“Whyhaven’tyougoneoverprotectiveonme,too?”
“I’myouralpha.Myjobistomakesureyou’reahealthymemberofthepack,notacrippledone.”Ruthlesswords,butHawkehadneverbeenamanwhocloakedthetruth.“Goanddowhatyouneedtodotoputthepiecesbacktogether.”
Shenoddedandhuggedhim,understandingthedeepcaringthatunderlaywordsoutsidersmight’vereadasbrutal.“Iwill.”ShewouldnotletEnriquewin.AndshewouldnotletJuddLaurenrunfromthis…whateveritwas.
Hourslater,sheemergedintothesmallyardinfrontofthecabintofindJuddwaitingforher.Startled,shegasped.“Howdidyoubeatmehere?Idrove!”
Hiseyesflickedoverherandsheknewhe’dnotedeverythinginthatsingleglance,includingherlackofluggage.“Youranfromthecarinhumanform.”
Itwasasifshe’dbeenwaitingforthismoment,forthisman,becausesheopenedhermouthwithoutanyforethoughtandadmittedthesecretshe’dgonetosuchgreatlengthstohide.“Ican’tgowolf.”Shehadn’tmeanttosoundsoshattered,butnowatearwasstreakingdownherfaceanditwashotandwetandangry.“Hebrokeme!Thatgoddamnbastardbrokeme!”Sheturnedandslammedherfistedhandsagainstthetrunkofanearbytree.“Hebrokeme!”Herbonesvibratedfromtheimpactasshebroughtherfistsdownforthesecondtime.
“Stop.”Malehandsclosedoverherownfrombehind.“You’llinjureyourself.”
Luredbythetouch,bythescentofhim,sheleanedbackagainsthisbody.“Ican’tgowolf.”Itwasawhisperthistime,theangerwashedawayinthatsinglepainedoutburst.
“I’veseenyouuseyourclaws.”HistonewasicilyPsyasalways,buthe’dcurvedhisbodyprotectivelyoverhers.
Therealizationcalmedherbutnotenoughtostophervoicefromtrembling.“Icanchangeinparts—claws,sometimestheteeth,butthat’sharder.Mystrengthandspeedhaven’tbeenaffected.Samewithmysenseofsmellandsight.”
“LikeDorian.”
“Yes.”TheDarkRiverleopardhadbeenbornlackingtheabilitytoshift,butwas,inallotherways,changeling.“ButIwasn’tbornlatent.Hecrippledme.”Hawke’searlierwordsnowtookonnewresonance.Whatwouldhesaywhenherealizedtheextentofherimpairment?“I’mdamaged…maimed.”
Judddidn’treleaseherhandsevenwhenshedroppedthemtohersides,histouchfirmandcoolagainsttheheatofherskin.“Haveyoutoldthehealersaboutthis?Itmaysimplybethatyourbodyhasn’thadenoughtimetofullyrecoverfromyourinjuries.”
“Ihaven’ttoldanyone.”
Excepthim.Juddknewthatshould’vemadenodifference,butitdid.“Come.We’lltalkinside.”Hetriedtoreleaseherhandsbutsheheldon,herbackpressingharderagainsthischest.Heallowedhertoprolongthecontact.Thatwaswhenthefirstwarningsignalflaredinhisbrain,buttherewasnopain.Notyet.“Whatisit?”
“I’mscared.”Atiny,shakenwhisper.“Itmustbenicetonotfeel,toneverbeafraid.”
“It’salsoakindofcrippling.”Donebyparentstotheirownchildren.“Youdon’twanttobewhatIam.”Theideaofacold,emotionlessBrennamadehimtightenhisholdonher.Asecondwarningsparkedtolife.
Pullingawayherhandsinachangeling-swiftmove,shetwistedtoputherarmsaroundhim.“Please.”
Therewouldbeapricetopay.Therealwayswas.ButJuddraisedhisarmsandwrappedthemaroundhersmallerframeanyway,tuckingherheadunderhischin.Hecouldfeelhertremblingfromtheforceofhertears.Hewantedtohaltthosetearsbutdidn’tknowhow.Sohedidasshe’daskedandheldher,awareallthewhileofthebuildingstrainatthebackofhishead,thedullthudthatannouncedanimpendingpsychicbacklash.
Thatbacklash—theuseofpaintocoercecompliance—wascalleddissonance.JuddhadfoundtheterminanoldandhighlyclassifiedPsy-MedJournalarticle,anarticlehe’dhackedintoafterfiguringoutsomethingasateenager—thatSilence,atitssimplest,wasbuiltonafoundationofrewardandpunishment.Thelargerthebreachofconditioning,thestrongerthepain.
ThejournalarticlehadreferencedascientistnamedPavlov’searlyexperimentswithdogs,aswellasseverallaterpapersthatexpandedonhistheory.Juddhadn’tbeenabletoaccessallthosepapers,buthehadfoundenoughtoconfirmhissuspicions…andunderstandthathisCouncilhadtrainedhimthesamewayyouwouldadog.Burnadogenoughtimesandhe’llbegintofearfire.Shockachildwithpaineverytimehelaughsandhe’lllearntoneversomuchassmile.AdehumanizingequationbutoneJuddcouldnotpermithimselftobreak.Nomatterwhatthetemptation.
“Brenna,youmuststop,”hesaidafterseverallongminutes—hersobshadturnedrawandpainful.“Stoporyou’llhurtyourself.”Hewasholdinghersotightly,hewonderedthatshecoulddrawbreath.Butinsteadofcomplaint,herfingersclawedintohisback,furtherstrengtheningtheconnection.“Nomoretears.”Hisharshorderdidn’thaveanyeffect.He’dneverseenhersodistraught.Duringthehealingsessions,she’dbeenthisangry,half-feralthingwho’drefusedtogivein,refusedtoletEnriquewin.
Findingtheanswerinthatmemory,hebenthisheaduntilhislipsbrushedherearashespoke.“Youwilldefeatthisasyou’vedefeatedeveryotherthinghedidtoyou.Youarenotcrippled,notnow,notever.”He’dkillanyonewhoimpliedotherwise.“Yousurvivedonceandyou’llkeepspittinginhisfacebycontinuingtosurviveagainandagain.”
Brennafoundherselftransfixedbythosemostunexpectedofwords.Atfirst,Judd’svoicehadbeenablur,butnowitwasacool,clearanchorthathauledheroutofhertearswithoutcompromise.ThatthewordscamefromaPsywasnotsomethingsheregistered,onlythattheycamefromJudd,fromthemanwhoheldher,hisarmsasunbreakableassteelbands.
Sherubbedhercheekagainstthesoftwoolofhisblackturtleneck,abletohearthesolidbeatofhisheart.“I’msorryIfellapartonyou.”She’dbeenholdingthingstogetherwithsheerstubbornnessforsolongandwhenhe’dtouchedher,breakingthatever-presentbarrierofSilentPsyreserve,ithadallrushedoutinanagonizingemotionaltorrent.
“It’sunderstandable.”Notthepettingwordsachangelingmanwould’veused,buttheyworkedforher.Shedidn’tneedgentling.SheneededwhatJuddhadgivenherinthosestarkwordswhisperedinherear—theunflinchingbeliefthatshewouldgetpastthis.“Doyouwanttogoinside?”henowasked.“Icanlightthelaz-fire.”
Sheshookherhead.“I’dratherwalkouthereforabit.Wecouldgogetmypack.”
“You’renotstaying.”Hereleasedherandtookastepback.
Sherubbedherhandsoverherface,wonderingexactlyhowmuchofafrightshelooked—shewasnotaprettycrier.“Yes,Iam.”
Thosedarkbrowneyesseemedtodarkentopureblack.“Youhavenoreasontobeouthere.Ican’tdowhatI’msupposedtoifI’mbabysitting.”
Hereyesfeltswollenwhenshenarrowedthem.“Goodtrybutyoucan’tmakememadsoI’llleave.”Shesuddenlyunderstoodsomethingelse—thewayhemadeenemiessothatnoonewouldeventrytogetclosetohim.“Icanrunthepatrolswithyou.”
“Thisisnotupfordiscussion.”Astatementsoarrogant,itremindedherofHawkeandherbrothers.Great.Justgreat.“I’mputtingyouinyourvehicleandyou’redrivingbacktotheden.”
“Unlessyou’replanningonusingmindcontrol,that’snotgoingtohappen.”Shewaslookingathimwhenshesaidthatandsawsomethingverydarkandverydangerousawakeninthosegold-fleckedeyes.
“I’mfullycapableofdoingthat.”Awarning,athreat.
Goingwithgutinstinct,sheplacedherhandpalmdownonhischest.“Tome?”Hedidn’tspeakandthatwasheranswer.“Whydoyouallowmetocrossbarriersyoudon’tallowanyoneelse?”Surelythatmeanthehadfeelingsforher.
“Enriquewasoneofmyown.Andhehurtyou.”
“Guilt?That’swhy?”Herstomachdropped.
Hisfingersclosedoverherwrist,turningthatsicksensationintosomethinghungrier,moresensual.“Idon’tfeelguilt.Idon’tfeelanything.”Surroundedbysnowandice,hewasamanwhoappearedtheblackestofshadows.Yethishandwascarefulonher.
Shesmiled,confidencereassured.“I’mstaying.”
“I’mdrivingyoubackrightnow.”
“I’llturnthecararoundthesecondyouleave.”Herskintingledwhereheheldit,hisfingersstrong,hisownskineroticallyrough.Shewonderedhowthathandwouldfeelstrokingother,softerplaces.Heatuncurleddeepinsideher.“Whydoesmypresencebotheryousomuchifyoudon’tfeel?”
Hishandtightenedafractionbeforesettingherfree.“Don’tgetinmyway.”
“Iwouldn’tdare.”Acompletelie.“Let’sgogetmythings.”
Hejerkedhisheadtowardthecabin.“Goandstartthelaz-fire.I’llbringyourpack.”
Shewasmorethanwillingtolethimwalkoffhistemper.Andthemanhadone,evenifhewasn’twillingtoadmitit.“Thecode’sfour-two-seven-zero.”Becauseitwasapackvehicle,itwasn’tkeyedtoanysingleindividual’sthumbprint.“Seeyouwhenyougetback.”
Hedidn’tleaveuntilshewassafelyinthecabin.Watchinghimwalkaway,sotallandstarklyaloneagainstthesnow,madeherwanttorunoutsideandhughim.JustwrapherheataroundhimuntilherwarmthmeltedhiscoldPsyarmor.Theproblemwas,Juddseemeddeterminedtomaintainthaticyshield.
Shiveringthoughthecabinwaswellinsulated,sheturnedfromthewindowandwenttostartthelaz-fire.Unlikemostclean-airdevices,theLAZenergysourcehadbeencreatednotbychangelingsbutbyPsy.Thereason?Laztechnologysavedenergyandthereforemoney.Thesinglethingchangelingshaddonetoadaptitwastoaddaholographicenhancer.Itturnedtheefficientbutcolorlessblockofaportablelazgeneratorintowhatappearedtobeaperfectlyrealblaze,albeitonewithzerochanceofstartingaforestfire.
Brennacheckedthatthegeneratorwassittinginthecorrectplaceinthebuilt-infireplacebeforeflickingiton.Flamesburstintogoldenlife,immediatelylighteninghermood.However,shedidn’tstayinfrontofthefire,goingtostandatthewindowinstead.Juddneededtoknowthathewasn’talone,thatshewaswaitingforhim.
Maybehethoughtshewasbeingdisingenuousorthatshedidn’tunderstandwhathewastryingtotellher.Sheunderstood.Shejustdidn’tacceptit.Juddwasn’tlosttoSilence,nomatterhowmuchhewantedtobe.Sheknewdominantmales,hadgrownuparoundthem,soshecouldguesswhatitmusthavecosthimtostiflehisprideandsubmittohislowrankintheSnowDancerhierarchy.Buthe’dtakenthehit—toprotectMarleeandToby,andevenSienna.
Hemightthinkhewasbeyondredemption,butsheknewotherwise.
Hisbodyappearedfromthetreesatthatinstant,herpackslungoveroneshoulder.Strongandconfident,therewasanarrogancetohimthatsaidheknewhewastoodangerousforanyoftheforestinhabitantstomesswith.
Smiling,shewenttoopenthedoor.“Hey.”
Hedroppedthepackinsidethedoorway.“I’mgoingtorunacircuit.ClosethedoorandstayinsideuntilIgetback.”
Shewasabouttotellhimexactlywhatshethoughtofthewayhewasgivingherorderswhenheturnedandheadedout.
Sheblinked.
Themanwasfast.ToofastforaPsy.Thenagain,shehadafeelingJuddLaurenwasnoordinaryPsy.Kickingthedoorshut,sheopenedthepacktoretrieveasmallpieceofmalfunctioningcommequipmentshe’dpromisedtofixforDrew.Herbrothermightbeinfuriatinglyoverprotective,butherespectedhertechskills.
Itfeltgoodtopickuphertoolsagain,tofeeltherushofmentalstimulationasshebegandoingherkindofsurgery.
JuddreturnedtothecabinafterdarktofindBrennasittingonthefloorbythelaz-fire,toolsandcomputronicpartssetoutneatlyinfrontofher.Sheglancedupwhenheentered,buthersmilewasabsentminded.“Gimmeafewminutes,baby.”
Baby?
Puttingtheuseofthetermofaffectiondowntoherpreoccupiedstate,hehunguphisjacketandtookoffhisbootsbeforegoingintothekitchenarea.Ashe’dthought.Shehadn’teaten.Pullingouttwooftheprepackedmealsfromthecooler,heputtheminthecookingunit.Hewastrainedtogowithoutfoodfordaysifnecessary,butBrennaneededtogetsomecaloriesinher.ChangelingsburnedenergyfasterthanPsy.Addedtothat,shewasstillrecoveringfromthedamageEnriquehaddonetoherbody.
Thatdone,hewenttositnearthefireandwatchherwork.Twothingsbecameimmediatelyclear.One,thatBrennalovedwhatshedid,andtwo,thatshewasvery,verygoodatit.Notthatthatwasanythingunexpected.Shewasaqualifiedcomputronictechandhadbeenengagedinfurtherstudybeforeasociopathchangedthecourseofherlife.
Theimagescameagain—ofher,bruisedandbattered,thebloodonthewalls,thesoundsoftearingflesh.Enrique’sscreams.Everyonescreamedattheend.Everyone.
JuddhadwatchedtheformerCouncilorbeingtorntoshredsbyclawsandteethandfeltnosenseofracialallegiance.Bloodforblood.Eyeforeye.Lifeforlife.ItwaschangelingjusticeandSantanoEnriquehaddeservednothingless.
Brennasuddenlysmiledanditwasaflashoflightcuttingthroughthegrimdarknessofmemory.“Finished.”
“Areyouchargingforthat?”heasked,awareofthevalueofherwork.
“Oh,it’sforDrew.”
“Andwhatdoesyourbrotherthinkofyoubeinghere?”
Colorfloodedhercheeks.“Um,hesortofmightthinkthatI’mwithSascha.”
“AshamedtobeseenwithaPsy?”
“Youknow,”shesaid,scowlgathering,“IthinkIndigo’srightaboutthesizeofmen’sbrains.”
Judddecidednottoaskforclarification.“Youneedtoeat.”Hefetchedthemeals.
Foronce,shedidn’targue.Dinnerpassedinsilencebutoneunlikeanyhe’deverbeforeknown.Itwas…easy.Afterthey’dclearedawaytheplates,shepulledhimbacktothefire.“Sit.”Heobeyed,thesofaathisback.Following,sheproceededtotellhimwhatIndigohaddiscoveredaboutthemurdervictim.
“Rushisusedprimarilybychangelings?”heasked,notfamiliarwiththesubstance.
“Humans,too,butlessso.Theirbodiesprocessthingsdifferentlyfromours.”Shestretchedoutherlegs,themovementmorelikethatofacatthanawolf.“RubyCrushwasdevelopedspecificallyforchangelings,likeJaxwasforPsy.”
“Jaxisn’tarecreationaldrug.”
Brennahalfturnedtofacehisprofile.“Youmeanithasamedicinaluse?”
Medicinal.Thatwasonewaytoputit.“Inminutedosescalibratedtopreciselymatchthepatient’sweightandmetabolism,ithastheeffectofbothintensifyingthestrengthandenhancingtheenduranceofnaturalPsyabilities.”
Shebracedoneelbowonthesofa.“Likeanupperforthepsychicmind?”
“Yes.Butwithoutthephysicalconsequencessufferedbystreetusers.Theeffectfadesoverasetperiodandthenyou’rebacktoanormallevelofstrength.Nocrash.”
Brennafrowned.“Yousaidphysical.Whataboutpsychic?”
Allatonce,heunderstoodwhyhe’dtoldher,whathewasabouttoconfess.“Theysaidtherewerenone—theM-Psyinchargeofdosingus.”
“Youtookit?”Ashockedwhisper.
“IwasanArrow.Anelitesoldier.”Hehadneverbeforeeitherconfirmedordeniedhisrank.“WewerethereasonJaxwasoriginallyinvented.”Sotheycouldbebetter,faster,deadlierthananythingelseintheNet.“Takeninthecorrectdosage,ithasnoneofthepsychicsideeffectsyouseeintheaddicts.”AslowlossofPsypowersfollowedbyaquietformofinsanityandthendeath.Yethispeoplecontinuedtouseit.He’dhearditallowedfeelingduringthehigh,achemicallyinducedshortcircuitoftheconditioning.
Scootingtositinfrontofhim,Brennatouchedatremblinghandtohisknee.Itfeltlikeabrandeventhroughhisclothing.“Itterrifiesmethatyouwereexposedtoit.TellmeabouttheeffectstheM-Psydidn’twarnyouabout.”CHAPTER12
Heknewheshouldpushoffherhand.Buthedidn’t.“Itchangeduswhilewewerefunctioningunderitsinfluence,madeuslesshuman,morecapableofkilling.Perfectprogrammedsoldierswhocouldstillthinkwithcrystal-clearaccuracy.”JaxhadalteredtheArrows’viewofrightandwrong,madethemincapableofseeingshadesofgray.
“Howlongwereyouexposedtoit,Judd?”Shesoundedfrantic.“Therecouldbelong-termeffects.”
“Ayear,”hetoldher,wonderingwhyshewasn’trunning—he’dadmittedtohavingbloodonhishands.“IbelieveI’msafe.Mybraindidn’thaveachancetoresetpermanently.”AshadhappenedwithsomeseniorArrows.Theytrulywerethedarkness,lethalmachineswhofollowedthewilloftheirhandlerswithunswervingdedication.
“Onlyayear.”Sheroseuponherkneesandleanedincloseenoughtogriphissweater.“HowlongwereyouanArrow?”
Hefoundhe’dmadeaspaceforherbetweenhisraisedknees.Onemoremoveandhishandswouldbeonthesoftcurvesofherhips.Hefoughtthecompulsionwiththehardtruthsofmemory.“Fromeighteentotwenty-six.Eightyears.”Buthe’dbeenintrainingsincetheageoften,sincethedayhe’dfirstkilled.
Brennauncurledherhandsfromhischestandreachedouttotouchhimlightlyonthesideofhisjaw.Hemethergaze,fascinatedasalwaysbythespikingexplosionofarcticbluearoundthepupils.He’dneverseenitasascar,butasasymbolofherstrength.Mostpeopledidnotwalkoutsaneafterhavingtheirmindstornopen.
“How?”sheasked,droppingherhandtohiscollarbone.“Howdidyouescapebeingadministeredwiththedrugafterthatfirstyear?”
Thedissonancehadkickedinduringthatfleetingcaressalonghisjaw,butthepainwasslight.Easilymanageableforamantrainednottobreakevenundertortureofthemostinhumankind.“Irealizedwhatitwasdoingtomesevenmonthsin.”Hehadknownhishandlerswouldneveragreetoasimplerequesttohaltthedrugregime,notwhenJaxgavethemafullyobedientandextremelylethalarmy.
“Myabilitiesaren’tcommon,notthespecificsubdesignation.”Ofwhichshecouldknownothing.ThesecondshefoundoutabouthisTk,she’dclassifyhiminthesamegroupasSantanoEnrique:thecabalofmurderers.Nomatterwhathe’ddecidedabouttheneedtoforcehertokeepherdistance,hedidn’twantBrennaseeinghimthatway.Ajaggedspikeofpainspearedthroughhisskull—thedissonancehadmovedtostagetwo.“Sotherewasnowayforanyonetocross-checkmystatementsaboutit.”
Shereachedouttobrushalockofhairoffhisforeheadandherskinfeltsodelicate,sodifferentfromhis.“Youlied.”
“Yes.IbegantodeliberatelymakepsychicmistakeswhileonJax.”Suchasnotapplyingenoughpressuretocausedeathorthespecifictypeofinjuryhe’dbeeninstructedtobringabout.“ThenItoldthemIwashavingdreams.”
“Dreams?”Herforeheadlinedwithconcentration.“What’swrongwithhavingdreams?”
“Psydon’tdream.”Todreamwastobeconsideredflawed.He’dbegundreamingasachild,butthedreamshehadasanadultwerenottheoneshe’dhadthen—beforehisabilityhadcometoviciouslife.
Brenna’shandclenchedonhisshoulder.“Nofreedom,eveninsleep.”
“No.”Hewantedtotouchherhair,itlookedsosoftandsilky.Thedissonancebecameafractionstronger,butitwasnothingcomparedtowhathe’dundergoneasaten-year-oldboyputintothecustodyofthesquad’strainers.They’dplacedmodifiedelectrodesonthemostsensitivepartsofhisbody,strappedhimdown,andproceededtoteachhimthemeaningofpain.
Ithadtakenhimonlyaweektolearntostopscreaming,anotherfivetostopblackingout.Byhiseleventhbirthday,hecouldwatchhisarmbeingbrokenandnotreact.“Myplanworked—theytookmeoffJax.”Theyhadalsoremovedseveralotherswithrelatedabilities.Interestingly,noneofthosemenhadeveraskedtobeputbackonthedrug.
“Ican’ttellyouhowhappyitmakesmetohearthat.”
Hedidn’trespond,hisattentioncaughtbysomethingelse.
“You’restaring,”Brennaaccusedaminutelater,afaintblushcoloringhercheeks.
“Iapologize.”Herskinlookedcreamyandrichinthewarmlightfromthelaz-fire,herhairgoldenandhereyes—theyappearedlitfromwithin.“You’restaring,too.”
Herblushdeepened.“Ican’thelpit.You’resopretty,soperfect.”
Itwasn’tthewordhe’dbeenexpectingandhewasn’tsureitwastheonehewantedtohear.“Areyouattractedtoperfection?”Hewasn’tbeingvain.He’dbeentoldduringadvancedtrainingthathehadafaceofperfectsymmetry,somethingthatattractedhumansandchangelingsalike,andcould,therefore,beusedtohisadvantage.He’dneverfollowedthatadvice—itwouldhavebeenonesteptoofarintotheabyss.
Shelaughed,thesoundhuskyandintimate.“No,prettydoesn’tdoitforme.OtherwiseTaiwouldhavesucceededinreelingmeinduringhighschool.”
Herecalledtheyoungwolf’sface—ashockofstraightblackhair,highcheekbonescoveredbyhealthybrownskin,slightlyslantedblue-greeneyes.TheelementsaddeduptoapicturethatBrenna’scommenttoldhimwasattractivetofemales.Pretty.Hishandcurledintoafistonthecarpet.“Thenifyoudon’tfindmeattractive,whyareyoustaring?”
“Ididn’tsaythat.”Brenna’svoicehadgrowndarker,hungrier.“Ifprettywasallyouwere,Iwouldn’tbesofascinated.Youhavedangerouseyes,astubbornjaw,thebodyofasoldier,andthemindofahunter.That,mydarlingPsy,”shewhispered,“makesyouagorgeous,sexypackageIwanttolickfromheadtotoe.”
HerconfessionwasfollowedbysilencesodeepJuddcouldhearthewhispersofthewindwhippingaroundthecabin.Thenherblushfiredtoredhot.“Oh,myGod,Ican’tbelieveIactuallysaidthatoutaloud.”
Neithercouldhe.Thefactthatshesawhimassosexuallyappealingwasenoughofasurprisetorenderhimspeechless.Hewasnumb.Eventhedissonancecutoff—likelyreadinghisreactionasoneofcompleteunemotionality.
“Saysomething.”Brenna’shandturnedintoatightfistonhisshoulder.
Hefoundhisvoicethroughanactofintensewillpower.“I’mnotsurewhattosay.”
“Idon’tusuallysaythingslikethattomen.”Shescowled.“Areyousureyouaren’tusingPsypowersonme?”
“Iwouldneverbreakthatethicallaw.”Histonewentcoldattheimplication.
Shethumpedhisshoulder.“Iwasjoking,youidiot.”Blushhavingfaded,herlipsbegantocurveinaslow,teasingsmile.“Youdon’tknowwhattodowithme,doyou?”
Admittingthatseemedlikeabadidea.“Ifyouweremale,I’dsimplythrowyououtwithafewbruises.Asyou’renot,I’muncertainhowtogetridofyou.”
“That’sjustmean.”Butshecontinuedtosmile.“CanIaskyousomething?”
Atthatinstant,hewasherpersonalArrow.“Ask.”
“Don’tyouwantto—”Shepaused.“Actually,Idon’tthinkI’mthatbrave.”
“Don’tIwanttowhat?”
“ForgetIsaidanything.”Risingtoherfeet,sheranahandthroughherhair,sendingtheshortstrandsspiking.
Stillseated,heputahandonherleg,onthesensitiveskinbehindherknee.AsmalltouchbutonethatrestartedthedissonancewithavengeanceandfrozeBrenna.Heknewwhy.Accordingtohisresearchonbodylanguage,thetouchwasanintimateone,somethingmostfemalesonlyallowedthosetheytrusted.“Tellme.”
Herexpressionwasinscrutablewhensheglanceddown.“You’rePsy,figureitout.It’salogicalprogression.”Withthat,sheshookoffhishandandwalkedtowardthesmallkitchenarea.“Doyouwantcoffee?”
Hechangedpositionsohecouldwatchher.“Alright.”Coffeewasn’tpartofthePsymealplan,buthe’dbecomeusedtoitsincehisdefection.WhilewaitingforBrennatopreparethedrink,hedidasdirectedandworkedthroughtheirconversation.Itwould’vegonefasterhadhenotkeptgettingdistractedbythesightofhermovingwithfeminineefficiencymeremetersaway.Theswayofherhipswas—“Don’tIeverwanttolickawomanallup?”
Shesqueaked,thenswiveledtofacehim,bracingherhandsonthecounterbehindher.“NotquitehowIwould’veputit.”Hertonewashigherthannormal.“Butyeah.”
“You,”hesaidquietly,nolongerabletolie.“Youtemptme.”
“Oh.”Herbreastsroseupasshetookadeep,shudderingbreath.“You’veneverleton.”
Yes,hehad.Ifsheeversawthewayhewatchedherwhenshewasn’tlooking,she’dbeinnodoubtastothestrengthofhisunacceptablereactiontoher.“Becauseitdoesn’tmatter,”hetoldher.“Itchangesnothing.”
“Liar.”Shestaredathimunblinking.“OtherPsydon’tfeeldesire.”
“It’samajorfractureinmyconditioning,”heacknowledged—toherandtohimself.“AfractureIintendtorepair.”Whathecouldn’tunderstandwaswhyithadreappearedsoquicklyaftertheworkhe’ddonetocloseityesterday.Heshould’vebeenimmunetothesweetseductionofherbody.
“Thenwhat?Youforgettemptation?”
“Yes.”
Eyesfulloffire,sheturnedherbacktohimandcontinuedwiththecoffeepreparation.“Youknowthatlistaboutyou?Ishould’veaddedpigheadedtoit.”
Herangerfascinatedhimasmuchaseveryoneofherotheremotions.Andadmittingthatbroughthimanotherhazardousstepclosertotheedgeofacatastrophicbreach.Thedissonancespikedandthistimehelistened,becauseforhim,thepainwasn’tsimplyawarningtogethisemotionsundercontrol,itwasawarningtogethisabilityundercontrol.
Hispowerwasn’tpassive,wouldn’tturninwardifhelosthiswhite-fistedgriponit.No,itwouldgooutward,wouldseektotearfleshandcrushfragilefemininebones.“Don’tyoueverwonder,”heaskedcoldly,consciousthathewasassassinatinganychancehehadwithher,“ifyou’reattractedtomebecauseofwhatEnriquedid?”
Thistime,shestoppedwhatshewasdoingandstalkedovertostaredownathim.“Whatthehellisthatsupposedtomean?”
Herosetohisfeet.“HewasPsy.SoamI.Hehurtyou.Maybeyouwanttocanceloutthatexperiencewithapositiveone.”
Herfistswerebloodlessskinoverbone,herjawset.“Unlikeyou,Idon’tthinkthrougheveryoneofmyactions.Ibehaveaccordingtomyemotions.”
Hestoodtoetotoewithher,almostabletofeelthepsychicwaveofherfury.“Thistime,that’snotenough.Youneedtoexaminethereasonsbehindthoseemotions.”
Sheblewoutafrustratedbreath.“AndifIwaslookingforsomekindofvalidationthatnotallPsyareevilmonsters,wouldyoubeabletogiveittome?”
“Ican’tgiveyouemotionalabsolution.”Hemightdamageherevenfurther.“Ican’tgiveyouthekindofarelationshipyouneedtoheal.”
“Heal?I’mnotadamagedthingyouhavetoputbacktogether.Iputmyselfbacktogether!”Sheslammedherhandagainstherheart.
“Butyouhaven’tbeeninclosecontactwithanymaleoutsideofyoursafecirclesincetherescue.”Excepthim.Andundernocircumstancescouldhehaveher.
“Soyoureallymeantwhatyousaidtomeyesterday?”Hervoicerose.“Ishouldfindmyselfanicewolfandsettledown?”
Hefoughtofftherisingincursionsofdissonance,therazorbladesslidingthroughhisbrainstemandtravelingdownhisspine.“Thatwouldberushingthings.”
“Oh,Isee.YouthinkIshouldfucksomeonetogetovermybadexperience.”Thecoarsewordsshotgunnedfromherlipslikebullets.“No,wait,it’sPsymenI’mapparentlyworriedabout.Somaybeyou’retheoneIshould—”
“Don’tsayit.”Hisfingersweregrippingherchinthoughhehadnomemoryofputtingthemthere.“Don’t,”herepeatedwhensheopenedhermouth.
Sheheldhisgaze.“Why?That’swhatyoujusttriedtoreduceusto.”
“Thereisno‘us,’Brenna.”Therecouldn’tbe,notifhewantedhertolivethelifeshedeserved.“Forsomereason,you’reattractedtome.Andyes,”hesaidwhenitlookedlikeshewasgoingtorespondwithanotherburstofred-hotanger,“I’mtemptedbyyou.Butthatmeansnothing.”
“Howcanyousaythat?”Sheclosedherhandoverhiswristbutdidn’tattempttobreakhishold.“Lookatyourself.Youdon’treactlikethistoanyoneelse.Onlyme.”
“Iknow.AndifIkeepreactinglikethis,I’llendupkillingeitheryouoranotherinnocent.”Releasingherchin,hesteppedback.
“Killsomeone?”Stunnedincomprehensionwipedawaytheredflushofhertemper.“Whyareyouworriedaboutthat?”
Headingtothedoor,hegrabbedhisjacketandshovedonthebootshe’dremovedearlier.“Gotobed.”
“Judd!”Shestampedherfoot.“Walkingawayisn’tgoingtosolveanything.”
Hepulledopenthedoorandstrodeoutintothecold.Smallflakesofsnowfellonhishairandthewindburnedacrosshisunprotectedface,buthebarelynoticed,hismindstillinthecabin.Tonight,he’dcomeshockinglyclosetobreakingSilenceandfeelingangerofthemostviolentkind.TheangerofaTkwithhissubsetofpowerswasn’tnormalinanysense—he’dfoundthatoutasaten-year-oldboystandingoveranotherchild’scorpse.
LeavingBrennamightnotfixanything,butitwouldkeephersafe.Fromhim.He’dknownthatshouldshesaythatlastword,itwouldpushhimtoofar.Hecontinuedtofeelthetextureofherskinunderhisfingertips—warm,smooth,touchable.Grittinghisteeth,hewalkeddeeperintothewinter-cloakednight,hopingthesnowwouldchillthefireinwhatshouldhavebeenthepure,unbrokeniceofhisheart.
Brennathrewherbootagainstthewall.“Men!”SheconsideredrunningafterJudd—shewasfastevenifshecouldn’tgowolf—butabandonedtheideainafitoffemalefury.Shewasthroughwithchasinghim!Hecouldchaseafterherforonce.
Exceptthattwohourslater,hestillhadn’tmadeanappearance.“Fine,”shesaid,turningoverinthebedshe’dappropriated.“I’llleavetomorrowifthat’swhathewants.”Howdarehesaythosethingstoher?
Youneedtoexaminethereasonsbehindthoseemotions.
Hiswordswouldn’tleaveheralone,nomatterhowmuchshetriedtoforgetthem.Wasthatwhatshewasdoing—usingJuddtogetpastherownfear?Andshewasafraid.Everyonethoughtshewassobraveandstrongbecauseshe’dsurvivedwithhersanityintact.Itmadeherwanttolaugh,butwithnothingevenclosetohappiness.Becauseasshe’dtoldJudd,andnomatterwhathe’dsaidtothecontrary,shewasbroken.Enriquehaddestroyedherspirit,madehersuspiciousandinsular,wherebeforeshe’dbeeneasytoextendthehandoffriendship,easytosmile,easytoseejoy.
Todayshefacedthehorrorthathe’dmadehersuchaweakwoman,she’dbeenreadytouseanothermantofindherowncourage.SomethingtoldherthatJuddLaurenhadbeenusedquiteenough.Shedidn’thavetoknowthefacts.Shesawthetruthintheshadowsbehindhiseyes—heexpectedhertotakewhatsheneededandthenleave.
Shepulledtheblanketupherbodyinavainefforttowarmthecoldinhersoul.“No.Thisisn’taboutJuddbeingPsy.”Itifhadbeen,shewouldhavegonetoWalker.HewasnolessPsyandfarmoreapproachable.Orwasthattheattraction,anotherpartofherasked—thefactthatJuddwassodamndangerous,morethantoughenoughtotakeonherdemons?
“SowhatifI’mattractedtohimbecauseofwhathappened?”She’dchangedinherfighttosurvivetheevilthathadtouchedher,lostpartofherinnocence.Butshe’dalsogainedknowledge,learnedwhoshewasandwhatshecouldendure.Thenewwomanshe’dbecomefoundJuddLaurenfascinating.
Well,shehad.Nowshewastoomadtocare.CHAPTER13
Judddidn’treturnuntilhewasconfidentBrennawouldbefastasleep.Heenteredtofindhercuddledupinfrontofthefire—inthemiddleofacampbedshe’dapparentlydraggedoutofstorage.Shemadeanoiseatthesoftclickofthedoorclosingandhepaused,waitingforhertowakeup.Butshecontinuedtobreatheintherhythmsofsleep.
Relaxing,hetookoffhisjacketandquietlyremovedhisbootsandsocksbeforegoingdownonhishaunchesbythefire.Evenhisskullachedfromthedampnesscausedbythesnow—he’ddeliberatelynotusedhisabilitiestoprotecthimself.Butdespitehisneedtoregaincontrol,hehadn’tgonefarfromthiswomanwhothreatenedhimonaviscerallevel,unabletoleaveheraloneinthedarkness.Sohe’dstoodwatchandattempted,onceagain,torepairthemostcriticalofthenewflawsinthewallofSilencearoundhismind.
Hewasn’tastupidman.HeunderstoodthatSilencehadbeenimposedonhim,andwasinnowaynatural.Formostofhispeople,itwasaviolationoftheirfreedomtochoose.ProtocolI,withitsaspirationtocutintothePsybrainitself,wouldonlyfurtherthatviolation.Butnotwithstandingallthat,healsounderstoodandacceptedthatforasmallminority,Silencewasachoicetheywouldhavemadeifgiventheoption.
Hewasoneofthem.
Forhim,Silencewastheanswertoaprayer,agiftthatallowedhimtoliveafulllife,notbecagedbehindbarsorbanishedtocompleteisolation.HiseyesfellonBrenna’sslumberingform.No,hethought,hewaswrong.Hislifewasn’tfull,notwhenhecouldn’thaveherinit.ButatleastSilenceallowedhimtotalktoher,toprotecther,tobewithherevenifitwasformerefragmentsoftime.Withouttheconditioning,hewouldn’thavetrustedhimselfwithinsightofher.
Unabletoresistthischancetogetevencloser,hecrossedthecarpetandlookeddownather.Underherlids,hereyesmovedintherapidmovementsthatdenoteddeepsleep,perhapsadream,buttherewasnosignoffearineitherherfaceorherbody.Inotherwords,shewasperfectlyfineanddidn’tneedhimstandingwatch.Hetoldhimselftomove,thatthisfascinationhefeltwasexactlywhathe’dbeentryingtoheadoffoutinthesnow.
Instead,hisfingerscurledashefoughttheurgetoreachoutandtestthefragileshadowsthrownonherskinbyherlashes.Atthatmoment,Brennagaveachokedlittlecry,herskinsuddenlymarredbywrinklesthatspokeofpain.Shiversfollowed,herwholebodytremblingdespitethewarmthofthelaz-fire.
Heknewwhatachangelingmalewould’vedoneinthissituation.Itwasthesamethinghisinstinctsweretellinghimtodo,nomatterthattheactionwouldundoanygoodthecoldoutsidehaddone.Thedissonancedisagreed,shootinghotdartsofpainintohiseyes.
Thenasobcaughtinthebackofherthroat,makinghisdecisionforhim.
Gettingonthebed,heproppedhimselfupononeelbowbesideherandstrokedhisfreehandoverherhairinagentlecaress,excruciatinglyawarethathisbodywasabareinchfromhers.“Shh.Sleep.I’llkeepyousafe.”Itwasapromisehe’dgiveeverythingtohonor.
Hertremblingstoppedafterafewsecondsandsheclosedthatone-inchgaptopressintohim.TheheatofherseepedthroughherT-shirt,theblanket,andhissweatertoburnhisskin.Impossible.YetwithBrenna,itwasn’t.Whenherhandroseoutoftheblankettocurlbetweentheirbodies,itwasallhecoulddotokeepfromtakingherintohisarms.
Everywarningbeaconinhisheadflashedred.Toexposehimselftomorecontactwouldspelltroubleforbothofthem.Sohekepthisdistance—exceptforthefingersstrokingthroughherhair—andwatchedhersleep.
Brennaknewshewasdreaming.Shealsoknewshecouldn’ttrytowake.Therewassomethingshehadtosee,hadtounderstand.
Itwasatruedream.Fractured,fragmented.Butthestrangethingwasthatitwasblack-and-white.She’dneverdreamedinmonochromebefore.Herdreamsweredrenchedincolor,inscent.Butthisplacewascold…metallic.
Power
Shehadsuchpower.Anditwassofinelycontrolled.Onethoughtandthetarget’sheartsimplystoppedbeating.Themanwasdeadbeforehehittheground.She’dkilledbefore.Thisonehadbeenalmosttooeasy.
Forherpeople.
Shedidthisforherpeople.
Thecoldwaterwascuttingagainstherskin,butshehadtowashawaytheblood.Bloodnooneelsecouldsee.Becauseshehadexecutedaninnocent.They’d—
Fragmentsofsounddampenedbyshadowsofblackandwhite,icyclawingfingersbornofherownmind.Asenseofdangerclosingin.
Butnofear.Norage.Noanger.
Andthatwaswhensheknew.
Thiswasn’therdream
Herheartbegantoracethesecondsheopenedhereyes.Untilthemomentshe’dwoken,ithadbeenabsolutelycalm.Frighteninglycontrolled.Sheblinkedseveraltimestocleartheimagesthatcontinuedtodanceinfrontofhereyes,slowlybecomingawareoftheglowofthelaz-fireinthehearth…andthefactthatshewasnolongeraloneinthebed.
Judd.Hisfamiliarscentcalmedherpanicbeforeitcouldbegin.Risingontoherelbow,shefoundhimasleepontopofthesheets.Onearmlayalongthebackofherpillow,whiletheotherwasbracedoverhisforehead.Hewasstill.Silent.
Shecouldn’tevenhearhimbreathe.
Itscaredher.“Wakeup.”Shetouchedherfingerstotheroughnessofhischeek.Itwasthefirsttimeshe’dseenhimlessthancleanshaven.“You’rehavinganightmare.”
Hishandclosedaroundherwristwithsuchunbelievablespeedthatsheactuallysqueakedinsurprise.Hereleasedherasquickly.“Iapologize.”
Sheputthatsamehandonhisshoulderwhenitlookedlikehewasplanningtogetup.“Stay.”Foralongmomentfilledonlywiththesoundofherbreathing,shedidn’tthinkhe’dacquiesce,butthenhegaveaslightnod.
Shedidn’tmoveherhandoffhisshoulder,hyperconsciousofthemuscleandstrengthbeneaththeblackofhissweater.“Wanttotalkaboutit?”
“Aboutwhat?”Notremorinhisvoice,nothingtobetraytheimpactofadreamthatwouldhaveterrifiedherhaditbeenherown.
“Yournightmare.”Sheknewwhatshe’dseenevenifshecouldn’texplainhow.
“Itoldyou,Psydon’tdream.”
Sighing,shesnuggledimpossiblycloser,thewolfinhercravingcontact.ItprobablymadeJuddveryuncomfortable,buthedidn’tmakeanymovetobreakaway.“Liar.”
Juddfelthismindstopatthatsingleaffectionateword.Herecognizedaffection,hadbeenaroundchangelingslongenoughtounderstandtheimportofsuchseeminglylightheartedcomments.However,ithadneveroccurredtohimthathemightonedaybeonthereceivingendofthismostsensualformofit.Especiallyfromawomanwhohadbeensoangrywithhimbarehoursago.“Adangerousaccusation.”InthePsyNet,thatwould’vebeentrue.Noonewantedtobeindictedofhavingaflaw.
Brennachuckledandtuggedatthearmhe’dplacedacrossherpillowuntilshecouldrestherheadonit.Herweightwasslight,butheknewhewouldn’tbemovingbeforeshedid.“PromiseIwon’ttell,”sheteased,breathwhisperingovertheskinofhisneck.“Yourtough-as-nailsimageissafewithme.”
Itwasdifficulttofocuswithhercurvespressedintohim.HereachedintothedepthsofhisArrowtrainingandforcedabsoluterestraintoverhisinstincts.Itwastheonlywayhecouldallowhimselfthisforbiddencontact.“WhydoyouthinkIwasdreaming?”
Theatmospherechangedandthoughhewasn’tlookingather,hepickedupherdistressfromthesuddentensenessofhermuscles.“Brenna?”
“Isawit.”
Thewordshithimlikebulletsfiredatcloserange.Heknewwhathe’dbeendreamingabout—healwaysrememberedtheimageshesawinsleep.“Whatdidyousee?”
“Youkilledsomeone.”Saidinabreathlesswhisper.“Thenyoudiscoveredhedidn’tdeservetodie.”
Judd’sbrainshiftedintoautomaticdamage-controlmode,spittingoutoptionafteroption.Atthetopofthelistwasdenial.
Nevergetintoasituationwhereyourstatusmaybecomeknown.
Ifyouare,however,trappedinsuchasituation,neveradmitanything.
Maintaincontrolofyourphysicalreactionsifplacedunderduressandanswerallaccusationsinthenegative.Denialiskeytoprotectingthesquad.
Denyeverything.
Itwasoneoftheveryfirstthingshe’dbeentaughtafterbeingremovedfromhisfamilyandtakentothetrainingfacility.Buthe’dstoppedrunningfromthetruthalongtimeago.“Itwasn’tadreambutamemory.”Hebracedhimselfagainstthehorror,disgust,andrejectiontocome.
Oneofherhandsrosetolieagainsthischest.“Whythatman?”
Hetoldherthetruth—hewouldnotdefendhimselfwithhypocrisyandlies.“HisnamewasonalistgiventomebyMingLeBon.”
“CouncilorLeBon?TheArrowsworkfortheCouncil?”
“No.”Thathadneverbeentheirraisond’être.“ThefactthatthesquadiscurrentlyunderthedirectcommandofLeBonarisesfromhimbeingaseniorArrowhimself,ratherthanhisCouncilrank.Arrowsareaforceindependentofpoliticsandmoney.Themanyousawmekill,however,wasnothreattoanyonebutMing.HehadtheunfortunatedistinctionofhavingcutintotheCouncilor’sbusinessinterests.”
“Youweren’ttoknowthat.Youtrustedyourleader.”Herfingersspreadonhischest,begantostroke.“It’swhatanysoldierdoes.”
“Iwasanassassin,Brenna,”hesaidinabluntrepudiationofherattempttofindgoodinhim.“Iwasgiventargets,toldthepreferredmodeofdeath,andsetatimelimit.Ineveraskedquestionsaboutwhotheywereorwhatthey’ddone.”
“Thenhowdidyoufindoutabouttheguyyouweredreamingabout?”
“Ayearintomyworkwiththesquad”—toolate,fartoolate—“Ididfinallybegintoaskthosequestions.TheanswersIreceiveddidn’tringtruesoIwentsearching.”Whathe’ddiscoveredhadchangedhisidentityfromloyalsoldiertocold-bloodedmurderer.
Itwasthesecondtimeinhislifethathisidentityhadbeenstolenfromhim.Hehadvowedthattherewasn’tgoingtobeathird.“InthePsyNet,somesegmentsofthepopulacecalltheArrowsadeathsquad,butwethoughtofourselvesasthefirstlineofdefense,protectingourpeoplebeforetheyevenknewtheywereindanger.Mingchangedthat,madeusintobringersofdeath.”
“Thenyoushouldn’tblameyourself.”Hervoicewasquiet,accepting.“Youwere—”
“Actingonorders?”heinterrupted.“That’sanexcuse.IstoppedmakingitthedayIrealizedwhatItrulywas.”
Handpressingdownonhischest,sheroseuponherelbow,eyesstormy.“Insteadyou’regoingtobeatyourselfupaboutitforever?”
“I’mPsy—Idon’tfeelguilt.”
Averyunfemininesnortwashisanswer.“Whatdoyoucallthosenightmares?”
“Youaren’tseeingwhatI’mtellingyou,”hesaid,staringintothoseextraordinaryeyes.“IwastheCouncil’spetassassin.Thereisnothinggoodoracceptableaboutthat.Evilistheonlyapplicableword.”Hepaused.“Thisdoesclearuponething.”
“What?”Brennaasked,notyetfinishedwithhim.
“YouhavenoneedtoworrythatEnriqueleftsomepartofhimselfbehindinyou.”
“Ofcoursehedid—otherwiseIwouldn’tbeseeingyourdreams.”
“No,Brenna.Youwereafraidyouwereturningintoamonster.Buttonight,didyoufeelthesameemotionsyoudidwhenyousawthevisionofTim’sdeath?”
Hereyeswidened.“Oh.”Droppingherheadbackdowntohisshoulder,shetookseveraldeepbreaths.“Iwasseeinghisdream,thepersonwhokilledTimothy,feelinghisemotionsashethoughtaboutwhathewasgoingtodo.”
“Everythingpointstothatconclusion.”
Reliefrushedthroughherlikeaflashflood.“I—”Sheshuddered.
“Iknow.”Stark,unemotionalwords.Moredisturbingly,thoughhe’dcometoherlastnight,hedidn’tmovetoholdherasachangelingmalewouldhavedoneinthesamesituation.Andsheneededtobeheld.
ButJuddwasn’tchangeling.Heneverwouldbe.CHAPTER14
Kalebreadtheprécisofthereportonhisdeskandlookedupathismostsenioraide.“You’resurethere’sbeennoerror?”
“Yes,Councilor.”SilverMercant’seyeswereanoddshadebetweengrayandblue,andhadapparentlybeenthegenesisofhergivenname.ThatextraneousfactwassomethingKalebhadmadeithisbusinesstofindout—hetrustednoonenearhimhedidn’tknowinsideout.
“Irecheckedeverybyteofdatawewereabletohackintoanddownload.Unfortunatelythefacilitywasattackedbeforewebrokethefinalencryptions,”shesaid,“butwehaveenoughtomakeaconclusiveassessment.SomeonehasalreadyauthorizedlivetrialsoftheImplantProtocol.”
KalebleanedbackinhischairandswiveledtostareoutatthegraychillofMoscow.Peoplehurriedacrossthesnow-fleckedsquare,allwalkingasiftheyhadsomewheretobe—unsurprising,giventhecity’sforty-yearreignasoneoftheworld’seconomicsupercenters.“Wereyouabletodeterminewhogavetheorder?”HeturnedbacktoSilver.
“Negative.”Hereyesflickedtothewindowbehindhim.“Itappearsyouhaveanengagement.”
He’dalreadyseenthetraillaidbytheapproachinghigh-speedairjet.“Wehavetenminutesbeforemyguestmakesitdowntothisoffice.TellmewhatelseIneedtoknow.”Thisinformationcouldmeanachangeinhisplans.
“TheauthorizationcamefromveryhighupintheCouncilranks.Theindividualorindividualswereabletoprovidetestsubjectswhoeithervolunteeredorwerethosewhowouldnotbemissed—thenotesarevagueonthatpoint.”
Anintentionaloversight,Kalebthought.NorationalPsywouldaccedetohavinghisorherbrainimplantedwithadevicethathadn’tyetreachedbetatesting.Hecouldalmostguaranteetherehadbeennovolunteers.
“Thedataisfragmented,”Silvercontinued,“butI’mninetypercentconfidentthetestgroupislimitedtotenmembers.They’vealreadyhadoneconfirmedfatality.”
“Findmethatbody.”Ifnotliterally,thenfiguratively.AmissingPsywhomatchedthedescriptionparameters.
“I’malreadyworkingonit.”Sheglanceddownattheflatscreenofherorganizer.“Therearetwoothercrucialfactors.ThefirstisthatAshayaAleineappearstohavesolvedtheissueofStatic.”
Static,atermusedtodescribethebuzzofbackgroundnoise—thesoundofmillionsofwhisperingPsyminds—producedduringsimulationstotestthetheorybehindProtocolI.NoPsycouldfunctionwiththatkindofmentaldistraction.
“Thesecondfactor?”Asmalllightflashedonthesurfaceofhisfullycomputronicdesk.Theairjethadlandedontherooftoplandingpad.
“It’scommonknowledgethatProtocolIwouldneverhaveworkedasinitiallypostulatedbecauseitwouldhavereducedtheentirepopulationtoonelevel.Touseananalogy,wewouldhaveallbecomeworkerbees.”
Andahivecouldnotsurvivewithoutaqueen.“You’resayingAleinesolvedtheproblemofdistinctbutcompatibleimplantsfordifferentsegmentsofthepopulace?”EnsuringpowerremainedinthehandsofthosewhowoulduseittokeepthePsyatthetopofthefoodchain.
“Notcompletely,”Silverclarified,“butshedoesappeartohavebrokentheimplantsintotwocategories—primaryandsecondary.Oftheoriginalparticipantsinthetrial,eighthadsecondaryimplants,twoprimary.”
Tworulers.Withpossibletotalcontrolovertheothereight.SuchinfluencewouldbetheprerogativeofthoseinpowershouldProtocolIcometofruition.“Seeifyoucangetmeanynames.”Hehadhissuspicions,butwhatheneededwasproof.
“Yes,Councilor.”Shegaveashortnodandwalkedout.
Anotherlightflashedonthegleamingblacksmoothnessofhisdesktoindicatethathisvisitorhadexitedtheglasshover-elevatorandwasheadingtowardhisoffice.Touchingaconcealedpanelunderthedesk,heinitiateditssecuremode.Thedeskturnedopaque,hidingthecomputronicsbutcontinuingtorecordeverythingthatwentoninthisroom.Ofcourse,hehadnodoubtthathisvisitorhadcomepreparedforsuchanexigency.
Aknockandthenthedooropenedtorevealhisadministrativeassistant,Lenik.“Sir,CouncilorDuncanishereforyourmeeting.”Heshutthedoorassoonasshecamethrough.
Walkingaroundthedesk,Kalebwenttomeethermidway.“Nikita.Itwasgoodofyoutocomeallthisway.”
Almond-shapedbrowneyeslookedintohis,coolandcertainlycalculating.“Asitappearsweneedtodiscusscertaindiscreetmatters,itwasthelogicalchoice.Yourofficesaren’tascloselywatchedasmine.”
Hehadnoneedtoaskforfurtherexplanation.TheDarkRivercatsandtheirallies,theSnowDancerwolves,hadn’tbeenshyaboutthefactthattheywerekeepingtabsonNikita.ShewastheonlyCouncilorwithineasyreachoftheirterritoriessinceTatiana’smovetoAustraliatwomonthsago.“Perhapsthatwillnolongerbeaprobleminthenearfuture.”TheCouncilhadtakenstepstoeliminatethechangelingissue.
Nikitashiftedherheadslightlyandthelightfromtheceilingfixturebouncedofftheglossyblackofherhair.“Wewillsee.I’mnotasconvincedastherestofthemembershipabouttheinfallibilityoftheplan.Ourdatacollectiononthechangelingshasbeenallowedtolapsetoadisgracefullevel.We’remakingdecisionsbasedonoutdatedinformation.”
Kalebmadeamentalnotetocheckherassertion.“TheDarkRiverProjectisstillbearinggoodreturns,Itrust?”HewasreferringtothegroundbreakingrealestatedealbetweentheDuncanGroupandtheleopardpackthatcontrolledSanFranciscoanditssurroundingareas.
“Yes,”sheconfirmed.“DespitetheannoyancethecatspresentintermsofCouncilbusiness,they’regoodformyeconomicinterests.”
“Asharpdistinction.”
“Precisely.MyprofitmarginwillsustainmajordamageshouldtheCouncil’splansucceed.ButI’msureyou’rewellawareofthat.It’swhyyouaskedmetomeetyou.”
Hegaveasmallnod.“Ithoughtwemighthaveanumberofinterestsincommon.”
Nikitawalkedpasthimtothewindow,hercomposedbusinesspersonahidingacoreofpurepoison.“IthoughtyouwouldallywithShoshanna.ShewasresponsibleforyourentryintotheCouncil.”
Hecametostandbesideher,handsinthepocketsofhistailoredsuit.“Onthecontrary,Nikita.IalonewasresponsibleformyascensiontotheCouncil.”He’dsethiseyeonthegoalatagesevenandneverblinked.Noonehadbeenallowedtostandinhisway.Butthen,alltheCouncilorshadbloodontheirhands.
Nikitadidn’tdisputehisclaim.“YourjockeyingforleadershipiswhyMarshallhasbeguntobackShoshannaandHenry.”
Hewatchedpalewinterlightcrawloverthesquareandsawinitanotherfuture,onehe’dshape.“You’remistaken.Ihavenodesirefortheleadership.LeadersarethebiggesttargetsandIhaven’tmadeitthisfarbycourtingvisibility.”
“ThenyoushouldtonedownyouraggressivenessduringCouncilsessions,letMarshallknowhispositionisn’tinjeopardy.”
“Ifhebelievesthat,he’safool.”Hegaveheraskepticallook.“HenryandShoshannawanttolead.Marshallwoulddobettertoallyhimselfwithus.”
“ThatstillleavesTatianaandMing.”
“FromwhatIcansee,Tatianaistheswingvote.”TheotherCouncilorhadmadenoallianceshe’dbeenabletounearth.“However,wemayhaveasituationwithMing.”
“I’mlistening.”
HetoldherwhatSilverhaddiscovered.“AstheCouncilorinchargeoftheImplantProtocol,hehastohavefullknowledgeoftheunsanctionedtrials.”
“Thisisunacceptable.”IcedrippedoffNikita’severyword.“Youhaveproof?”
“Yes.”Illegallyobtainedbutlegalnowthatitwasinhishands.Afterall,hewasaCouncilorentitledtotheinformation.“Severaldatafiles.”
“It’smuchtooearlyforlivetrials,”Nikitacontinued.“Thesaboteurswillhavetheirworkdoneforthemifthepopulace,andmoreimportantly,themajorfamilies,refusetosupporttheProtocolbecauseitappearsdangerous.”
Heconcurred.Tosucceed,ProtocolIhadtobeprovensafe—intermsofbothPsymindsandtheirpsychicabilities.“Therehasalreadybeenonefatality.Ifthenewsgetsout…”
Nikitaplacedherarmsbehindherback.“It’lljeopardizethefutureoftheentireoperation.Iassumeyou’reworkingtotracktheteninvolved?”
Kalebnodded.“It’snouseconfrontingMingbeforewehavemore.Wecan’triskalienatinghim.IftheScottsseizemajoritycontroloftheCouncil,it’llcompromiseanumberofourinterests.”
“Agreed.”
“Thereisanotherpossibility,”hesaid.“ThattheScottshaveinsertedtheirinfluenceintoMing’sprojectwithouthisknowledge—they’vealreadyshownawillingnesstoactwithoutmajorityauthorization.”
“ThatwouldshiftMing’sallegiance,oratleastlimithissupportfortheirmotions.”Nikitaseemedtocometoadecision.“We’lldiscussournextstepwhenwehavemoredata,unlessyouseeacogentreasonfornotwaiting.”
“There’snoneedtorush.”
“Iseealotofchangelingsdownthere.”Shenoddedatthesquare.“How’stheracialsituationinyourtown?”
Moscowwashardlyatown,butheletitgo.“Stable.Thelocalwolfpackisatpresentfightingfordominanceagainstawell-establishedbearclan.Asaresult,theyhavenointerestinPsyaffairs.Thehumansposenothreat.”
“Theyneverdo.”Nikitadismissedtheentireracewiththeflickofahand.“BeforeSaschadroppedoutoftheNet,welearnedthatchangelingpacksaren’tasisolatedaspreviouslybelieved—I’mnowinvestigatinghowfarthatgoes.AnyindicationyourwolvesmightbelinkedtotheSnowDancers?”
Kalebshookhishead.“BlackEdgehasnoconnectionsoutsidetheimmediateregion.They’retoobusywithpettylocalmatterstothinkbig.”
“Let’shopetheyremainthatway.”Nikitastartedtowardthedoor.
Hefellintostepbesideher.“Leavingsosoon?”
“IhaveameetinginSanFranciscoinafewhours.”
“Theairjetshouldgetyouthereinplentyoftime.”Itwasoneofhis,designedandbuiltbyacorporationofwhichhehadmajoritycontrol.“I’llkeepyouupdated.I’msureyouhaveenoughtohandleinrelationtotheexecutionoftheplantargetingDarkRiverandtheSnowDancers.”Itwasaverydeliberatecommentonhispart.
AsNikitahadmadeclear,shedidn’tsupporttheCouncil’splan.However,she’dbeenplacedinchargeofitbecauseShoshannahadmadeapointofsayingthatasthemesswasinNikita’sbackyard,sheshouldbetheonetocleanitup.Especiallysinceherdaughterwaspartoftheproblem.
NikitagavehimachillyPsysmile.Itmeantnothing,ofcourse.“Ifstageoneoftheplanworksasexpected,weshouldseeanumberofchangelingfatalitieswithinthenextfewhours.”CHAPTER15
Themorningaftershe’dwitnessedJudd’sdream,Brennaleftthecabinforawalk.Theairwasfreshandcrispunderthesnow-heavytrees.Juddhadalreadygonetocheckthingsattheboundaryline,leavingherplentyoftimetothink.
Youaren’tseeingwhatI’mtellingyou.
Juddbelievedshewasviewinghimthroughrose-coloredlenses,buthewaswrong.Sheunderstoodwhathe’ddone,realizedthedarknessinsideofhim.Butshe’dalsolookedtrueevilintheface,hadhadthesliminessofitinvadehermind.SheknewcategoricallythatJuddwasnotcutfromthesamecloth.
Notthathisconfessionhadcomeasasurprise.She’dsensedfromthestartthathewasnoangel.Still,he’dattractedher,thechangelingheartofhersensingastrengthinhimthatwouldcomplementandnurtureherown.Ithadneverscaredherthat—
Somethingmadeasoundtoherleft.
Freezing,shesniffedtheairandfelthereyeswiden.HerfirstinstinctwastocallouttoJudd,butshehadnoideaofhisexactlocation.Neithercouldshebacktracktothecabin—she’dwalkedalongwayandwasnowcutofffrombothitandtheweaponshiddeninside.Shecouldn’tevendefendherselfbygoingwolf
Herstomachtwisted,butsheforcedherselftothinkpastthebittertasteofrage.Iftheintrudersscentedher,shewasdead.Rightthen,shewasdownwind,asmalladvantage—shecouldprobablytakeouttwoorthreeofthembeforetheyrealizedtheywereunderattack.Thetroublewas,therewerealotmorethanthreehyenasoutthere.Andwhilehyenachangelingswereoftencowardsone-on-one,theywouldn’thesitatetogoforamoredominanttargetifapackofthemfoundyoualoneandunprotected.She’dbetorntopiecesinminutes.
Movingcarefullytoavoidbetrayingherposition,shethankedtheheavensforthefirsthatprovidedcover.Ordinarily,shewould’vegoneupintothosesametrees,butthatwouldtriggersnowfallfromthebranches.
Snow!
Brenna,youidiot!Itwasamentalcurseasshelookedbehindherandsawthesolitarytrailoffootprints.Shedidn’thavetimetogobackanderasethem,butshemadesuretocoverhertracksfromthatpointonward.Toolate.Tooslow.Shewasfartooslow.Sheconsideredbreakingoutintoafullrun,butwithsomanyofthem,theywouldrunhertogroundbeforeshereachedsafeharbor.
Brenna
Itwasn’texactlyasoundinherhead,notaspokenwordinanyway.Shecouldn’texplainhowsheheardit,butsheknewitwasJudd.It“smelled”likehim.
Still.Bestill.
Anillogicalrequest,butshetrustedhim—andhisabilities—toomuchnottorealizehehadtohaveaplan.Shefroze,eventhoughthehyenasweregettingperilouslyclose.
Open.
Shefeltapushonhermind.Hermouthdried,herheartclosedintoatightshell,andfearbloomedonhertongue.No!Shedidn’twantanyoneinhermindeveragain.
Alright.Butdon’tmove.Trustme.
Thehyenasweregoingtoseeheratanymoment,butsheobeyedhisorder.Andwhenherskinseemedtoshiftoverherskeleton,shetriednottopanic.Thenshefeltherboneschangeshapeinawaythatwasn’tanythingsimilartohowtheytransformedduringtheshiftfromhumantoanimal.Itwastoomuch.Herreactionswerebornfrominstinct,hardtocontrolundernormalconditions,impossibleinasituationwhereshewasalreadyhoveringaninchfrompanic.Shewould’vefoughtthen,disturbedthequietandgivenherselfaway,buthesetherfree.
Shehitthegroundharddespitethethicklayerofsnow.Blinkingawaythestrangedisorientationthatmadeithardtofocus,shegotup,shookherhead,andpreparedtorun…butfoundthelandscapestartlinglyunfamiliar.Shewasnolongeranywherenearthehyenas.Safe,shewassafe.ButJuddwasnowheretobeseen.
“Whereareyou?”Shescannedtheareaaroundher,butthesnowlayunbroken.Hehadn’tpassedthroughhere.Ittookrealeffortforhertothinkpastthewolf’sneedtogotoJudd’said,tohelpdefendtheirterritory,butshehunkereddowntowait.
Asthingsstood,Juddknewwhereshewasandcouldfindhermoreeasilyifshedidn’tmove.Itwascommonsense.Thatdidn’tmakeheranylessscaredforhim.Hewasouttherealoneagainstapackofhyenas—hyenaswhoshould’vebeentooterrifiedtocomeanywherenearSnowDancerland.Theirboldnesstoldhertheywerepackingweaponsmoredangerousthansimplyclawsandteeth.“Comeon,Judd,”shewhispered.“Whereareyou?”
Juddwasonthevergeofflamingout—whathe’ddonewithBrennahadtakenamassiveamountofenergy.Hebrieflyconsideredteleportingagunfromthecabinusingwhatpowerremained,butrealizedtheactwouldwipehimoutandleavehimasittingduck.Inhumanterms,hewasrunningonfumes.Anhouratmostandhe’dcollapseonthepsychicplane,hisabilitiesuselessforthenexttwenty-fourhoursormore.Thephysicalcollapsewouldhitafewhoursafterthepsychicone.
Ifthishadhappenedwhilehe’dbeenuplinkedtothePsyNet,hispsychicstarwould’veflamedredforafewsecondsjustbeforehecrashed,longenoughforotherstonoticeandusetotheiradvantage.ThatwaswhyPsywenttogreatlengthstoavoidflameouts.Itleftthemvulnerable—whiletheirbasicshieldswouldhold,themoresophisticatedprotectionstendedtocollapse,givingenemiesaneardefenselessvictim.
Outhere,however,evenhisfamilymightnotnoticehiscondition.BecauseofthedifficultyofkeepingthreeimmaturemindsfrominadvertentlydroppingoutoftheLaurenNetandattemptingtorejointhePsyNet,theyhadbeentrainingSienna,Marlee,andTobytostayoutoftheLaurenNetasmuchaspossible.Itwasahardtask—livingonthepsychicplaneaswellasthephysicalwasnaturalforthem.Buttheirsafetyhadtocomefirst.
Havingcircledclosetotheintruders,heallowedhisbodytoleanagainstatree.Whilethephysicalcollapsecouldbeheldoff,itwouldsaphisenergybitbybit,sohehadtoconserveitwherehecould.Thatcollapseitselfwasnothingnormal.MostPsyonlyflamedoutonthepsychiclevel.Itwasthenatureofhisabilitiesthatalteredthingsforhim.
Itmakesyouvulnerable.MingLeBon’smentalvoice,thevoicethathadshapedsomuchofwhoJuddhadbecome.However,asitappearstobeanunavoidablesideeffectofyourabilities,Isuggestyoutrainyourbodytosurviveonthebareminimumofenergy.
Juddhadbeenfourteenatthetimeandinthralltohismentor.Mingpossessedoneofthestrongestmindshehadeverseen.TheseniorArrow’sabilityinmentalcombatwasunparalleled,butwhatsetMingapartfromhispeerswasthathe’dtrainedhisbody,too.Hehadadeadlyfacilityinseveralhumandisciplines,includingkarateandtherareformknownaskatana.
TheWayoftheSword.
Exceptthatitusednobladesbutthosecreatedbyskillfuluseofthebody,honingmentoalethaledge.JuddhadstudiedunderMing,thenlaterunderahumanteacher,spendinganentireyearinthefreezingchillofOldSapporo.TheabandonedJapanesecitywassoinhospitable,itwaspopulatedonlybythosewhowantedtopushtheirbodiestothelimit,suchasthedisciplesofkatana.Thoughthehighlyoffensivemartialart—developedduringtheJapan-Koreawaroverhalfacenturyago—couldbeusedtokill,itsworthtothePsylayintheextremementalandphysicaldisciplineittaught.
ButevenkatanaonlywentsofarwithaTkontheedgeofaflameout.Expandinghissenses,hebegantocollectdata.Hewasn’tchangelingsoitcould’vebeendifficultforhimtoidentifytheexactspecies,butsomeofthehyenashadshiftedtotheiranimalforms.Thereweretwentyinthescanradiusandmanyregisteredascarryingweapons.Heneededacloserlookatthoseweapons.
Makingaquickdecision,hemovedcloser,usingwhathe’dlearnedinOldSapporotocheckthecreepingshroudofexhaustionandkeephisbrainfunctioning.Oncehe’dpositionedhimselfinthedirectpathofoneofthehyenasinhumanform,heleanedagainstanothertreeanddidthethingthatonlyhissubdesignationcould.Heblurredhisbody,becomingeffectivelyinvisible.IthadbeenpostulatedthatthisaspectofhisabilitysprangfromthesamecoreasthatoftheF-Psy,thathewasactuallybendingtime.
Concentrate.
Wanderingthoughtpatternswereasignofoncomingflameout.Hemanagedtodraghismindbackundercontrolinthenickoftime.Ahyenamalewalkedpast,aweaponstrappedtohisbackandanotherinhisarms.PinpointmigrainesbegantosparkbehindJudd’seyelids,buthemaintainedthe“invisibility”untiltheinvaderwaswelloutofrange.Thenhefocusedongettingoutofthehotzonewithoutleavingatrail.
Theexplosioncamehalfanhourlater.
Brennaheardthebangbeforeshesawthesmokespiralupintothesky.Theurgetoheadinthatdirectionwassooverwhelmingthatshehadtogritherteethtorestrainit.Herfamilyhadnotraisedastupidwolf.Withthesnow,theblazewouldn’taccelerate.Furthermore,thewoodwastreatedtobeflame-retardantandshehadneitherthefirepowernorthebackuptotakeonawholepackofthosedamnscavengers.
Butherfrustrationatbeingsohelplesswasn’ttheworstofit—shewasscaredtodeaththattheyhadgottentoJudd.Thenhewalkedoutoftheforest.Racingtohim,sheputahandonhisarm.“Whathappened?”Shetookasecondlook.“Judd,youreyes!”Theywerepureblack,nowhites,noirises.
“Theyblewuppartofthecabin,”hesaid,ignoringhercry.“Giventhenoise,SnowDancerpatrolsareprobablyalreadyheadingthisway.”
“Iknowthat!”Shocksubmergingunderworry,shescannedhisashenface.“Iwanttoknowwhathappenedtoyou!”
“Iusedtoomuchpower.”Clippedwords.
“Whenyougotmeout.”Itwasn’taquestion.AllthoseweeksofhealingwithSaschahadtaughtherafewthingsabouthowPsygiftsfunctioned.“BecauseIwouldn’tletyouintomymind.I’mright,aren’tI?”
“That’snotanissuewehavetimetodiscuss.”Hejerkedhisheadinthedirectionofthecabin,hiseyesbeginningtofadebacktonormal.“Mytacticalknowledgesaysthehyenasarelonggonebynow.Weshouldheadbacktheretomeetwhoeverresponds.”Hebeganmoving.
Sherantocatchup.“Areyougoingtobeabletocope?Youreyes…”
Hegaveherasidewaysglancesofullofmalearrogance,thewolfinherwantedtosnarl.“Psyeyesdothatwhenalargepowerexpenditureisinvolved—I’mfullycapableofmakingthenecessaryreport.”
“Ishouldlearntokeepmyworrytomyselfwhereyou’reconcerned,”shemuttered.
“Thatwouldbewise.”
Scowlingathisback,shedecidedtoconcentrateonsomethingthatdidn’tmakeherwanttogoclawed.“Howdidyougetmeout?”
“Teleportation.”
Uttersilenceinhermind,thecoldemptinessofangryfear.
Ifhecouldteleport,thatmeanthewasatelekinetic.AverystrongTk.Likehim.Thebutcher.“Whenwereyougoingtotellme?”Herheartfeltlikeablockofice.
“Never,”heansweredinaclippedtone.“You’renotrationalaboutTk-Psyandyourprejudicebleedsontoothers.”
Shedidn’tquiteunderstandwhathewasgettingat,butsheknewitwasn’tcomplimentary.“Thisisbetweenyouandme,nooneelse.”
Hestoppedandfacedher,perfectPsybeautyandruthlesscontrol.“No,Brenna.It’saboutyou,yourfamily,theentireden.Youstarthissingatmeandthey’llfollow.”
“Sincewhendoyoucarewhatanyonethinks?”
“SinceIrealizedthatMarleeisbeginningtoexhibitsignsofhavingatleastsomeTkinherskillset.Itdidn’tshowupinherinitialtestsbutthatoccasionallyhappenswithchildrenwhoareverystronginanotherability.Butnowit’srisingtothesurface.”
Angerflashedtoguilt,thenbackagain.“She’sababy.Nooneinthedenwouldgoafterapup!”Herfaceburnedattheidea,butatthesametime,somethingelsewastryingtorise,informationshecouldn’tquitegrasp.AllsheknewwasthatithadsomethingtodowiththeconnectionbetweenJuddandSantanoEnrique.
Hefoldedhisarms.“She’snotgoingtostayababy.Ifyoupoisonthedenagainsttelekinetics,where’sthatgoingtoleaveherwhenshegrowsup?”
Herclawsthreatenedtoreleaseandtheragewashedawaythatetherealpieceofknowledgefloatinginherbrain.“That’swhatyouthinkofme?Well,fuckyou!”Spinningaway,shesprintedtherestofthewaytothecabinfueledbyredfury.Itdidn’timprovehermoodtorealizethatJuddkeptpace.HewasPsy—heshouldn’thavebeenabletokeeppace.Butdamnifshewasgoingtoaskhimwhathewasdoingtomakehimselfchangeling-fast.“Thebottom-feedersaregone.”Fragmentsofwoodandglasslayscatteredonthesnow,theairthickwiththeastringentscentofexplosivechemicals.Butcuriously,thecabinwasn’ttoobadlydamaged—theblasthadonlytakenoutonediscretesection.
Goingdownonhishaunches,Juddheldoutahand.“Doyouhaveahandkerchief?”
“DoIlooklikeIhaveahandkerchief?”
“Anycleanclothwilldo.”
“Wait.”Skirtingthedebris,shewenttoawindow.
“Don’tenter,”Juddwarned.“Wehaven’tcheckeditforexplosives.”
Shegavehimanevillookand,pushingupthewindowfromtheoutside—afterensuringthatitwasn’triggedtoblow—reachedintopullopenadrawer.Thesmallkitchentowelwasinherhandasecondlater.“Here.”
“Thankyou.”Usingthesoftcloth,hepickedupsomethingshecouldn’tsee.
“Whatisit?”shesnappedmorethansaid.
“Atrigger.Unfortunatelyverygeneric.”
“Maybethetechscangetsomethingoffit.”SnowDancersmadeittheirbusinesstokeepontopofnewtechnologysotheycouldbeatthePsyattheirowngame.Sheusedtohelpwiththetechnicalstuff…before.
“Oh,”Juddmurmured,“Ithinkthere’snomaybeaboutit.”Herose,thetriggerinhand.
“Youthinkitwasplanted?”ShecaughtthescentofPackinthewind.“Packmatesincoming—theymust’vebeeninthearea,togetheresofast.”
“IsentHawkeamessagethismorningstatingI’ddetectedsignsofunauthorizedaccessandsuggestingitmightbewisetoinspectthebordersectionsadjoiningmywatch.”
Wolvesbeganpouringoutoftheforest.SherecognizedRileyandAndrew.Shit.CHAPTER16
Brennaavertedhereyesasherbrothersshifted,havingnodesiretoseethemintheraw.
“I’mgoingtokillyou”werethefirstwordsoutofAndrew’smouth.“Whatthehelldoyouthinkyou’redoingwithmysister?”
“Later.”Hawke’sauthoritativevoice.
BrennalookedupandfoundhimstandingacrossfromJudd.Hewasdressedandinhumanform,havingapparentlyrunthatwaywhiletheothershadgonewolf.Itwasanindicationofhisstrength,partofwhatmadehimalpha.
“Youmadegoodtime,”JuddcommentedtoHawke,thenheldoutthetrigger.“Ihaveafeelingyou’llfindsomeprintsonthis.Convenientones.”
“Youmeanlikethis?”Riley’svoice.
“Whatisit?”Brennaasked,stillnotlooking.Ofcourseshe’dseenothersnakedafterashift—itwasnormal.Butthesewereherbrothers.
“Asweatshirt,”Juddtoldher.
“Asweatshirtthatsmellslikeleopard.”Rileyagain.“Thewholeareareeksofcat.”
Thesilencethatfellafterhiswordswasominous.DarkRiverandSnowDancerhadbeenbusinessalliesforoveradecadebuttheiralliancehadturnedintoabloodbondmeremonthsago.Trustwasadiceything.
Hawke’sfacewasgrimasheglancedatthedamningpieceofevidence.“IfLucas’speoplehadbeenbehindthis,theywouldhavedoneabetterjobofcleaningup.Icansmellanothersignaturebelowtheleopardmarkers.”
TheothersfrownedandBrennasawseveralpairsofeyeswideninpuzzlementastheytriedtosortthroughthescentlayerstoidentifythevaguely“sweaty”taintofsomethingthatshouldn’thavebeenthere.
“Itwasapackofhyenas,”Brennasaidintothequiet.
Everyonestared.Chiefamongtheirreactionwasdisbelief.
“Thosescavengers?”Drewsaidatlast.“Yousure?”
Scowling,sheroundedonhim,keepinghereyesfirmlyabovehisneck.Herbrother,likemostchangelings,wastotallycomfortablenude.Itwasherreactionthatwasunnatural.Sheknewthat.Shejustdidn’twanttoexaminethereasonwhy…wasscaredtodiscoverwhatelseEnriquehadmutilatedinsideofher.“Ididn’tlosemynoseduringtheabduction,onlyhalfmymind.”
Andrewwinced.“Christ,you’remeanwhenyou’repissed.Butcanyoublameme?Hyenasdon’tgonearanythingthatmightbiteback.”
“Weneedtotalk,”JuddsaidtoHawke.
Thealphagaveasharpnod.“IwanteveryoneexceptRiley,Drew,andIndigotostartrunningasearchperimeter.Trytopickupthehyenas’trail.I’llmakeafewcalls—wemightgetluckyiftheeagleswereinthearea.”
“Eagles?”Brennalookedupasifshemightseesome.“Howmany?”
“Asmallflight.They’reheretoattendahumanwedding.”
Clearlythey’dmadesuretoaskpermissionfromHawkebeforesettingfootortakingwingintheareaunderSnowDancercontrol.Otherwise,theywould’vebeenlabeledenemiesandtakenout.Aharshlaw,butonethatallowedstabilityintheagressiveworldofpredatorychangelings.Withoutit,thecarnagethathadbeentheeighteenthcentury’sTerritorialWarswouldneverhaveended.
Hawkelookedathissoldiers.“Go.”
Forastunningfewseconds,theworldshimmeredwithathousandbrilliantcolorsasthesoldiersshifted.Thenwolvesdashedoffinalldirections,theirpawsflyingswiftandsilentoverthesnow.Brenna’sentirebodywentimmobileasshewatchedthemmove,sostrong,sobeautiful.Envywasahatefulbuzzinherhead,onethathadthepowertoturnherbitterandfullofspite—Enriquemightnothavekilledher,buthe’dsucceededincripplingher.
Youarenotcrippled,notnow,notever.
ThememoryhadherlookingawayfromthesleekformsofherpackmatestoJudd.Hewaswatchingher,nohintofanapologyinhisfeatures.Herearlierfuryreignited,butHawkespokebeforeshecouldlethertempergetthebetterofher.
“Tellmewhatyoufound.”
Juddrespondedwithmilitaryprecision.“Theywerecarryinghigh-gradelaser-poweredweapons.Nonearereadilyavailableonthegeneralmarket.”
“Psysupplied?”
“Highlikelihood.They’reproducedbyPsycompanies.”
Rileychangedpositionanditcaughtherattention—herolderbrotherdidn’tmakerandommovements.ItwasAndrewwhowasthemorephysicallyimpatient.
Hawkehadalsonotedtheaction.“Youhavesomethingtoadd?”
“Foraracethatdislikesusingweapons,”Rileycommented,“thePsysureseemtohavesomeadvancedones.”
“WhatmakesyouthinkthePsyhaveanaversiontoweapons?”Juddasked,soeerilycalmitmadeherwanttoshiver.
Rileystaredhardenoughtohavesentlessermencowering.“They’veneverusedthemtotakeusout.”
“Onlybecausesuchanopenmovewouldcausetoobigaripple.ItmightdestabilizetheeconomyifpeoplethoughtaPsy-changelingwarwasinthemaking.”Judd’sarctictonewasakintothebaringoffangsbyawolf.“That’swhytheypreferquieter,lessdetectablemethodsofremovingchangelingsfromtheequation.”
“Likesettingusagainstthecats.Exactlyhowstupiddotheythinkweare?”Hawkepulledasleekblackphoneoutofhisbackpocketandpunchedinacode.“Lucas,”hesaidasecondlater.“Wemayhaveasituation.”AshortpauseandthenHawke’sfacewentpreternaturallystill.
BrennastoodintensesilenceasheralphalistenedtowhateveritwastheDarkRiveralphawastellinghim,blindinglyawareoftheunsettlingquietofJuddbyherside.ATk.Oneofthesamebreedthathadtorturedher,brokenher.
You’rebeingstupidandchildish,apartofhermindsaid.No,shewasn’t,repliedanotherpart,onethathadbeenbruisedandbloodied.
“Howbad?”Hawkeasked,hissavagetonesnappingherbacktothepresent.“DoIneedtopulloutmypeople?”Anotherpause.“Tryhyena.I’llseeyouassoonasyoucanmakeit.”Heendedthecallandreturnedthephonetohispocket.
“Theywerealsohit,”Juddguessed.
“Someonetriedtosnatchthreecubsfromacitykindergarten.”
“Cubshurt?”Indigofinallyspoke.
Hawkeshookhishead.“ItwasinChinatown,neartheirHQ.Kidswentcatandroaredtheirheadsoff.Ateacherandseveralnearbyshopkeepersgottotheminseconds,butitwaslongenoughfortheattackertoblendintothestreetsandlosehimselfinthecrowd.Healsofoundthetimetoleavebehindapieceofhisclothing.”
Noonehadtoaskwhatscenthadbeenembeddedinthatclothing.
“Catshavetoberabid—gottobesomehotheadswhoaren’tthinkingstraight,”Rileysaid.“Wegoingonalert?”
Hawkegaveanegativeshakeofhishead.“Lucassayshehasthesituationundercontrol.He’scontainedthespreadofinformation,andthejuvenileswhoknowhavebeentolditlookslikeaPsysetup.Hehasthemtryingtotracktheattacker,whichshouldkeepthemoutoftrouble.”
“Notabadresult,”Juddremarked.“Evenayearago,youwould’veshedsomebloodoverthis.”
“Maybe,maybenot.”Hawke’sice-blueeyeswerealmostsilverinthebrightdaylight,beautifulinawayBrennahadneverbeforenoticed.Hewasn’tthekindofmanwhoinvitedthatsortofappreciation—hewastoomale,toohard.ExactlylikeJudd.
Soldier.Assassin.Tk.
“There’sonemorethingwehavetoconsider.”Juddglancedatthecabinandthenback,somethinginhisexpressionstrikingherasstrange.“ItmightnothavebeenthePsy.Otherscouldhavegainedaccesstothoseweapons,humansandchangelingsincluded.”
Andrewgrowled.“Tryingtosaveyourrace,Psy?WhoelsewoulddareintrudeonSnowDancerandDarkRiverterritory?”
“WhathappensifyousetupthedominantchangelingsinaregionagainstthePsy?”
Rileyunderstoodfirst.“Wewipeeachotherout,leavingtheregionopentotakeoverbyanewdominantpack.”
“Orahumanconglomerate.”Ashisexpressionhad,Judd’svoicesoundedslightlyofftohersenses,butshecouldn’tputherfingeronwhy.“ThePsyCouncilignoreshumans.Changelingsdon’t,butyoustillseethemasweaker.They’renot.TheHumanAlliancehasaccesstoamassiveamountoffirepowerandfunds.”
Hawkerubbedathisjaw.“Ifwetrackthehyenas,we’llhaveastartingpoint.Yougetanythingelse?”
“Theyknewwheretheyweregoing—they’ddonetheirreconnaissanceanddoneitwellenoughtoknowthecabinwassupposedtobeempty.”
“Itdoesn’taddup.”Riley’spragmaticnatureasserteditself.“Iftheirpointwastostartaturfwar,whytakeoutanisolatedcabin?”
“Firststep.”Judd’svoicewasdifferent.Somethingwasminutelyoff-kilteranditwasrubbingherfurthewrongway.“Acarefullyplannedandcontrolledescalation,”hecontinuedwhennooneinterrupted.“Soonerorlater,nomatterwhatyouorLucasdo,thepacksaregoingtostartsnipingateachother.”
“He’smakingsense.”Andrew’sacceptancewasgrudging,tosaytheleast.“Staggeraseriesofsmallepisodesandthebadbloodbuildsupuntil,bythetimethebigonehits,we’renotthinkingenoughtotalkitdown.”
“Iwantthosehyenas.”HawketurnedtoRiley.“Thesearchhereisyours.Drew,youandIndigoescortBrennabacktotheden.IhavetospeaktoJudd.”
“Idon’tneedbabysitters,”Brennasaidthroughclenchedteeth,abletofeeltheroughnessofthewolfinherthroat.“I’llcangetbackonmyown.”
“No.”Hawke’stonewasunbending,thatofanalphawhoexpectedinstantobedience.“Iftheytouchyou,warwillhappen.You’reatacticalweakness.”
Amixtureoffuryandimpotentragecoatedhertongue.“That’saloadofcrock!Anyoneofthefemalesorpupsgetstaken,it’llhavetheexactsameimpact.”
“I’mnotgoingtoarguewithyouaboutthis.”Hawkejerkedhishead.“Move.”
BrennalookedinstinctivelyatJudd,knowinghewasstrongenoughtotakeonHawke.Hereturnedherstare,impassive.“Hawkeisright.Becauseoftheabductionandrescue,youoccupyadifferentstatusinthepack.Youshouldreturn—thepack’scoherenceisnecessarytosupportmyfamily.”
Thebetrayalcrushedherbutcomingontopofwhathe’dsaidearlier,italsostokedheranger.“WhatelsedidIexpectfromoneofthePsy?”Itwasabitchythingtosaybutshecouldn’tbelievehe’dturnedonherlikethat—malesweresupposedtostickbytheirfemales,nomatterwhat.Itfinallypoundedhomethetruthshe’dgonetosuchgreatlengthstoignore.Juddwasincapableofanyloyaltybuttheonehe’dalreadygivenhisfamily.
SheturnedtoIndigo.“Let’sgo.”
“Shift.It’llbefaster.”
Viciousangerrakeditsclawsoverherheart.“No.”Letthemthinkshewasbeingabrat.“I’mrunninghuman.”Suitingactiontowords,shetookoff,leavingbehindbothherpackmatesandthecoldPsymalewhohadgivenherupwithoutpause.
JuddwatchedBrennauntilshewasswallowedupbythewinter-bluetrees.ThenheturnedtotheSnowDanceralpha.Hawkewaswatchinghiminturn,aninscrutableexpressiononhisface.Foraracenotoriousfortheiremotionality,thewolfwasverygoodatkeepinghisfeelingsunderwraps.
“There’snotmuchmoreIcantellyouasidefromtheexactmakeandmodelsoftheweaponsIsaw.”Herattledoffthenumbers,buthisattentionwasfocusedonthesteadycountdownofthetimerinhismind.Five,four,three,two…flameout.
Hewaspsychicallyblind.
Itfeltlikelosingalimb,losingallsenseofidentity.Hewasapsychicbeing,meanttooccupytwoplanes.Nowonlyonewasopentohim.
“Mighthelpnarrowthingsdown,”HawkesaidandhisvoicesoundedflattoJudd’salteredsenses.“Likeyousaid,theseweaponsaren’texactlyavailableatthecornerstore.”
Itwasastruggletofocuswhenitfeltlikehewasbreathingthroughmud.“Evenifyoulocatethesupplier,becareful.IfitwasthePsy,theyhadtohaveknownthehyenasweretooinexperiencedtopullthisoffsmoothly.Theoperationmightbealotmorecomplicatedthanitappearsonthesurface.”
“Inevertakeanythingonfacevalue.”Hawke’seyeslookedmetallictoJudd’scompromisedsenses,asifseeingthingsintechnicolordependedonhispsychiceye.“Ineedtotalktoyouaboutsomethingelse.WhatdoyouknowaboutaGhostintheNet?”
Itwasaquestionsounexpected,Juddwentsilent.
Hawkescowled.“Nothing?”
“He’sarogue.”Ithadtobeoneofthewomen,hethoughtasheanswered.EitherSaschaorFaithstillhadcontactsintheNet.“Notmuchisknownabouthim,buthe’santi-Council,fromwhatIsawbeforeIdefected.”
“Doyouhaveanywaytogetmorebackgroundonhim?”
“No.He’sinthePsyNetandI’mnot,”heliedwithoutcompunction.Hawkemight’vetakentheminbutloyaltywasanothermatter.TheGhost,ontheotherhand,hadearnedJudd’ssilence.
Wolfeyeslookedathimwithapredator’swatchfulattention.“You’renotPsyanylonger,Judd.Choose.”
“Ichosealongtimeago.”Heheldthealpha’sgaze.“IfIlearnanythingelse,I’llletyouknow.”
“Whileyou’redoingthat,whydon’tyouconsiderthedecisionsyouneedtomakeaboutwhereyourloyaltieslie.”
JuddcouldnolongerdistinguishthecolorofHawke’shair—theworldhadturnedmonochrome.Butheheldhisground.“HaveyoueverconsideredwhatI’dbeifIwasn’tPsy?Thereisnootheravailabledesignation.”
“YoucouldbeaSnowDancer.”CHAPTER17
“That’snotanavailableoptionforanadultPsymale.Yourpackdoesn’tacceptoutsiders.”
“Bullshit.”Hawkesnorted.“Weaccepthumanandoutside-packchangelingmatesallthetime.It’dbeasmallpoolifwedidn’t.”
“There’sadifferencewithPsy.”
“Onlyifyoucreateit.MarleeandTobyarealreadySnowDancer.”
Hawke’swordscausedJuddtogomotionless.“Don’tmakethatstatementunlessyou’rewillingtostandbyit.”TofightforthekidsifJudd,Walker,andSiennaweresomehowkilled.“EveryoneknowsyoudespisethePsy.”
“I’mnotinthehabitofsayingthingsIdon’tmean.”Buthedidn’tdenyJudd’saccusation.“WhathappenedbetweenyouandBren?”
“Noneofyourbusiness.”Theanswercameoutsofast,hehadnochancetocensorit.Instinct.Somethingthatcould’vegottenhimrehabilitatedinthePsyNet.Becausewhatwasinstinctifnottheharbingerofemotion?
“I’mheralpha.”Acommand,anorder.
Juddhadneverbeenverygoodattakingthem.“AsBrennawouldsay—you’renotherkeeper.”
Hawkegrunted.“YoudorealizeRileyandAndrewwillgutyouwhereyoustandifyousomuchastouchher.”
“Alsononeofyourbusiness.”Herbrothersconsideredhimaneasytarget.Thatwastheirmistake.“ButIwillaskyoutokeephersafeoverthenextday.”Untilhecouldtakeoverthetaskhimself.
“Goingsomewhere?”
Judd’svisionwasfrayingattheedges,detailslosttotheencroachingdarkness.“I’llbebackintwenty-fourhours.”
Hawkedidn’tpushformore,surprisinggiventhetightreinhelikedtokeepontheLaurenfamily.“WhatdoyouthinkBrenwouldsayifItoldheryou’daskedmetolookoutforher?”
“Mostlikelyshe’dshowyouherclawsandsaythatshecantakecareofherself.”
“Shecan.ButIdon’tcarewhatshethinks,she’snotbacktofullstrengthyet.”Hawkeraisedaneyebrow.“Wantapieceofadvice,onemaletoanother?”
Juddwaited.
“Wolffemalesgetreally,really,reallypissedoffwhentheirmalesdon’tsupportthemagainstothersinpublic.”Aflashingsmile.“You’regoingtohavetogroveltogetbackinhergoodgraces.”
“Loyalty.Iunderstandthat.”Andhedid.
Hawkeangledhishead.“Oneofthescoutsisreturning.”
Judddidn’tbothertowastewords.Hejustwalkedaroundthecabinandjoggedintothetrees.Hehadthreehoursatmostbeforethephysicalcrash.Wantingtoracethroughtheforest,henonethelesssetaslowenoughspeedthathecouldkeepaneyeonhissurroundings.WithouthisPsysenses,hewasn’thumanbutless
Psyweremeanttobepsychic.Removingthataspectoftheirmakeupaffectedeverythingaboutthem.Hishearingwasalreadycompromised,soundscomingthroughasifblockedbyawallofwater,whilehissightwasnolongerasacuteasitshouldhavebeen.Butitwasenoughtodrive.
ReachingthevehicleBrennahadforgotteninheranger,hepunchedinthecode,slidbackthedoor,andentered.Givenhisdestabilizedstate,hewouldhavenormallysetitonautomatic,butthatwasimpossibleinthisterritory.Theroadswerelessthantracksinmostareas,withnoneoftheembeddedcomputronictagsneededbythevehicle’snavigationprocessor.
Fallingbackoncemoreonthelessonshe’dlearnedinthebleakemptinessofOldSapporo,hearrowedhisconcentrationtoafinepoint.He’dbarelyreachedhisdestinationwhenthephysicalcrashhitfullon.Hismindblinkedout—toallintentsandpurposes,hewasnowinanunbreakablecoma.
Brennapushedherselftothelimitontherunbacktothedenandwasexhaustedbythetimeshereturned.Peelingofffromtheothertwo,sheheadedtowardherroom.Unfortunately,sinceAndrewlivedinthesamefamilyquarters,shecouldn’tgetridofhim.
“Thatwassomepace,Bren.Wheredidthatcomefrom?”
Shespunaround.“Idon’tknow.Idon’tknowwhereanythinginmyheadorbodycomesfromanymore.Evenifyouaskmeathousandtimes,Istillwon’tknow!”
“What’sgotyourtailinatwist?”Hescowled.“Yournewboyfrienddidn’tkissyouright?Oh,Iforgot.He’safuckingrobotwhodoesn’tknowhowtokiss.”
Drewhadalwayshadtheabilitytopushherbuttons,butshewasnotinthemoodforgamestoday.Shewasmad,sodamnmad.AtJudd,atherbrothers,atHawke,atthewholebloodyuniverse.“MaybeI’mnottheonewiththeproblem,”shesaid,somethingmeanandnastyinsideofhertakingover.“Whydon’tyoufindMadelineandgetlaid?”Thepack’syoungfemaleswereallhighlysexual,butMadelinewasgettingperilouslyclosetocrossingthelineintoslutty.“Maybeagoodrutwillgetyouoffmyback.”
Drew’sexpressionwaspurethunder.“You’renottoooldformetowashoutyourmouthwithsoap.”Quiet,lethal,areminderthatherusuallyeasygoingmiddlesiblingwasalsoahigh-rankingsoldier.
“Tryit.”Itwasalmostahiss.
Herbrotherblinked,visiblytakenabackbythevenominhervoice.Shehadalwaysbeenthesweetestofthethreeofthem,theonewhocouldtalkbothDrewandRileyintoalmostanything.They’dbabiedher,protectedher,lovedher.Butthatdidn’tgivethemtherighttosticktheirnosesintoherbusiness.“YouseemtohaveforgottenthatI’manadultfemale,notajuvenile,”shesaidwhenheremainedsilent.“TouchmeandI’llshredyourface.”Hervoicewascold,cutting…mean.
“Jesus,Bren.Wherethehellisthatpoisoncomingfrom?”
Thetasteofbilebloomedonhertongueashermindrecognizedthehorror.Thisspiteful,violentwomanisn’tme.Evenwhenhepissedheroff,evenwhenheactedsuffocatinglyarrogant,sheadoredDrew.Butifitwasn’ther,thenwhoelsecoulditbe?Thiswasn’tadream—shewasfullyconsciousandspewinghatred.
Itmadeherwanttobesick.
Coveringhermouthwithherhand,sherantherestofthewaytoherroomandslammedthedoorshut.WhenDrewpoundedforentrance,shetoldhimtoleaveheralone.
“Damnit,Bren.You’reinnoshapetobealone.Comeout,babysister.”
Tearsfilledhereyesathisunflinchingaffection.“Please,Drew.Ineedtothink.Justletmethink.”
Asmallsilence.“I’llalwaysbehereifyouneedme,youknowthat,right?”
“Yes.Iknow.”Buthecouldn’thelpwithwhatwashappeningtohermind.NoonebutaPsycould—exceptthePsyshe’dgivenhertrusttohadturnedonher.
SheheardDrew’sfootstepsashepaddedtohisownroom.Theshowerstartedafewminuteslater.Suddenlyfeelingsweatyanddirty,shestrippedoffherownclotheswithsuchhasteshetoreholesinthem.Itdidn’tmatter.Shehadtowashoffthefilth,scrubawaythestenchofevilandthatofherownugliness.
Thewatersmelledlikerain,freshandpure.Afteruse,itwouldflowbackout,purifiedbyanamalgamofold-techmethodsusingnaturalcleansersandhigh-techfiltersregulatedbyprecisioncomputronicprocessors.Aperfect,peacefulcyclethatstolenothingfromtheEarthandputnopollutantsintoit.SobrilliantthateventhePsyusedit.NotbecausetheycaredabouttheEarth,butbecausethismethodwassocheapastobelaughable.
Scrubbingatherskintillitreddened,shetriedtokeephermindfullofsuchtechnicalmatters.Aslongasherbrainwasbusy,she’dbesafefromtheputridevilhe’dplantedinsideofher,theroteatingawayatherinsides.
No,don’tthinkofthat.Thinkofthetech.Sobeautiful,socomplex.
BeforeEnriquehadkidnappedher,she’dbeenclosetocompletinghercertificationasaLevel1computronictechnician.Itwasthehighestofthetenavailablegrades,requiringskill,intelligence,andsomethingextra—theabilitytoinnovatenewsystems,createnewdesigns.Itwasunheardofforatwenty-year-oldtotacklethecertification,butshe’dfinishedschoolatfifteen,theexamsacakewalk.Overthenextfiveyears,she’dsteadilyincreasedhertechratingfromaninitial6,to5,allthewaydownto2.Shewould’vebeenaLevel1bynowifhehadn’ttakenher.
Bloodscentedtheair.Acrid.Iron-rich.
Blinkingawakeoutofhersemishockedstate,shesawthatshe’dscrubbedsohard,she’dtakenskinoffherforearm.Andstillshefeltdirty—shewantedtokeepscrubbing,keepremovinglayers.Thethingsthemonsterhaddone,thethingshehadforcedhertowitness,toremember,theydirtiedherfromtheinsideout,transforminghermindintoacesspoolofmalice,hatred,andthesickestofdesire.
“No!”Turningoffthewater,shegotoutanddriedherself.Shewoulddefeatthebutcher.Andshe’ddoitwithoutthehelpofaPsywho’dnotonlyliedtoher,buthadabandonedherwhenheshould’vestoodbyher.
Why?herbrainasked.Whydidyouexpecthimtostandbyyou?
Itinfuriatedherthatshehadnorealanswertothatquestion.Nothingbutaburningangerthatsprangfromsomethinginherthatwasmiraculouslyuntouchedbyevil.
Yousurvivedandyoukepthimfromyourmind.Youdidn’tbreak.
Saschahadsaidthosewordstoherthedayshe’ddiscoveredBrennainthegripofthekiller’smadness.Somehow,despitetheagonyofahurtthathadbeeneverywhereinsideofher,Brennahadmanagedtokeeppartofherself,astrongpreciouspart,safe.AndnowthatpartknewJuddshould’vestoodbyher,thoughitcouldn’texplainwhy.
Butifshehadnoanswertothatquestion,shedidhaveonetotheissueofwhatshewasgoingtodoabouthercareer.Dressingquickly,shewenttothecommunicationpanelandputthroughacalltoheroldcoursesupervisor.
Heseemeddelightedtoseeher.“Bren!Youbackupandabout?”
“Yes,Dr.Shah.IwantedtotalktoyouaboutmyLevel1certification.”Alreadyhermoodwaslifting,hersenseofselfreturning.“I’dliketocontinuethecourse.”
Hiseyeswidenedowlishlybehindtheold-techspectaclesheinsistedonwearing.“Butdidn’tanyonetellyou?”
“Tellmewhat?”
“You’realreadyaLevel1.”
Shefelttheangerreturninascaldingwave.“Idon’tneedorwantspecialfavors.I’llearnmycertification.”Pitywoulddestroyherdream,completingwhatEnriquehadbegun.
Dr.Shahlaughed.“ThesamestubbornBrennaIremember.Mydear,youshouldknowI’dneverdisrespectyourabilitiesinsuchaway.ShameonyouforthinkingIwould.”
Shefrowned,angerreplacedbybewilderment.“ThenhowcanIpossiblybecertified?Inevercompletedthefinaltests.”
“Yourlong-termproject—FAST.”Hesaidtheacronymasoneword.“Iknowyoudidfurtherworkonitafteryougavemethedraft,butIwasimpressedenoughbythatdrafttosubmititforreviewbytheComputronicandTechProfessionalAssociation.”
Brenna’sheartstuttered.Reviewbytheassociationwasthesinglesanctionedwaytoshortcuttherequirementsofthetrainingprogram.ButtheassociationwastoughwithacapitalT.Inherfiveyearsofstudy,shehadheardofonlyoneothertraineewhohadsuccessfullypassedreview.“Whydidn’tyoutellmeaboutthesubmission?”
“Well,whileIwascertainofthecaliberofyourwork,Ididn’twanttogetyourhopesupincasesomeassociationidiotdidn’thavethebrainstounderstandyourgenius.”Dr.Shah’sweatheredfacebeamed.“Buttheydid.Soyou’renowLevel1.
“Sincethecollegeisstilllistedasyourprofessionalpointofcontact,I’vegotastackofoffersforyoufromthebigconglomeratesandresearchfacilities.Wouldyoulikemetoforwardthemaswellasyourcertificationcode?”
Shenodded,numb.TheFASTprojectwasanextremelylateralinterpretationofherareaofspecialization—communication.Itwasalsosomethingshe’dbeenworkingonsinceagesixteen.Hergoalwastobuildasystemthatallowedreal-timeplace-to-placetransfer.Insimpleterms,fastandsafeteleportationforthemasses.
Itwaspuretheoryatthisstage,butshe’dcrackedafewoftheinitialproblems.Itwouldprobablytakeherdecadestoturntheoryintoanythingclosetoreality,butasaLevel1,shecouldgetassociationgrantsaswellaspositionsincompaniesthatwouldfundherresearch.“Thankyou,”shesaidastheoffersstarteddownloadingintoherin-box.
“You’remyprizepupil,butdon’ttelltheothers.”Hewinkedconspiratorially.“Iexpectyoutokeepmeup-to-datewitheverything.”
“Ofcourse.”AlsoaLevel1,hewasherbesttechnicalsoundingboard.“Yourviewsandopinionshelpedmegetthisfar.”
“We’lltalkmorelater,”hesaid.“Level3classtoteach.”
Thefirstthingshedidafterthecallendedwascheckherbankbalance.Hereyeswenthuge.Beforetheabduction,she’dworkedpart-timeataSnowDancerlab—afterHawkehadluredherbackfromahumancompetitor.Level2and3techspulledgreatsalaries,sohersavingshadbeengood.Butnowshesawthatthecollegehadrefundedhercoursefeesforthecomponentshehadn’thadtocomplete.Shewasflushandshewasqualifiedatthetopofherfield.
Theworldwasliterallyheroyster.Andthisdendidn’thavetobeherprison.
Itwastwohourslater—aroundnineatnight—thatshewentlookingforJudd“Damn”Lauren.Shehadthingstosayandhewasgoingtolisten.Ignoringthevoiceofreason,theonethatsaidaPsyassassinwasunlikelytobebroughtintolinebyhersteamingtemper,shestalkedtohisquarters.Whenthatroomprovedempty,shemadeherwaytothefamilyapartmentoccupiedbytherestoftheLaurens.
Shedidn’tgetpastthecorridoroutsidetheapartment.LittleMarleeLauren,herstrawberryblondehairintwopigtailsandasmileonherlips,wasbouncingaballagainstthewall.Normal…ifyouoverlookedthefactthatshewasn’ttouchingtheball.
Brenna’sthroatdriedupatthesameinstantthattheeight-year-old—achildwhosecalmbearingoftenhadherbeingmistakenforolder—realizedshewasbeingwatched.Herballfelloutofrhythm,rollingtoastopatBrenna’sfeet.Heartthunderingsohardshethoughtitmightbruiseagainstherribs,Brennawentdowntoherhaunchesandpickeditup,nevertakinghereyesoffthelittlegirlindenimoverallsandafluffypinksweater.Itwasstupid,butshewasscaredofMarlee.
“Hi,”shesaid,notrising.“Thisisaniceball.”SherolledthesparklybluespherebacktoMarlee,whograbbeditphysicallyandheldittoherchest.
“MyuncleJuddgaveittome,”thechildvolunteered,noPsycoldnessinherface—MarleeandhercousinTobyhadneverfinishedtheconditioningunderSilence.Tothem,emotionwasnotanenemybutsimplypartofwhotheywere.“Hegavemeaseesawgame,too,butthat’sreallyhard.”
BoththingstohelptraindevelopingTkpowers,Brennaguessed.“Oh?”Shetriedtosmile—Marleewashardlycapableofhurtingher.Butlogicwasnomatchforthenightmareofmemory.“Actually,Iwaslookingforyouruncle.Haveyouseenhim?”
Marleeshookherhead,pigtailsbouncing.“IcouldlookinoursecretNetbutI’mnotallowed.Icouldtakeapeekifyouwant.”Asoftwhisperthataskedforpermission.
SomethinginBrennatightened.“That’sokay.Idon’twanttogetyouintrouble.”
Marleecontinuedtostareatherwiththepalegreeneyesshe’dinheritedfromherfather,Walker.“Whydon’tyoulikeme?”CHAPTER18
TheguilelessquestionknockedalltheairoutofBrenna.Collapsingintoacross-leggedpositiononthefloor,shefeltherfacepale.HadJuddbeenright?Wasshereallysuchabigot?“Ithinkyou’reverysweet,Marlee.”
“Thenhowcomeyoudon’tlikeme?Howcome?”Thestubbornnessofherjawlinewasachinglyfamiliar,apparentlyaLaurenfamilytrait.
Brennacouldn’tlie,notwithMarlee’sfacedemandinghonesty.“Youknowhowyoucanmovetheballwithouttouchingit?”
HerpigtailsbouncedasMarleenodded.“I’maTk.Onlyalittlebit,though.Ican’tdoitsogood,notlikeUncleJudd.”
ThereminderofJuddandwhathe’dkeptfromherwasanotherpunchtothechest.He’dhadnorighttodothat.Lyingwasnotwhatshouldbebetweenthem.Andforthatcertainty,too,shehadnoconcretereason.“Yeah.”Sheforcedherfingerstouncurl.“Abadmanwhocoulddothesamething,averystrongtelekinetic,hehurtmeonce.Alot.That’swhysometimes,IgetscaredbyotherTks.”
“That’ssilly.Someofthewolvesaren’tnicetome,butIstillliketheothers.”
“Who’snotnicetoyou?”Shefrowned,hacklesrising.Wolfpupscouldgetroughinplay,butbullyingwasn’ttoleratedunderanycircumstances.
“Somestupids.”Marleeshrugged.“UncleHawkesaidsinceI’mlittle,Icanhurtthemiftheytrytohurtme.”
BrennaknewthatJudd,Walker,andSiennahadbeenbannedfromusingtheirpowersonSnowDancers.“Haveyou?”
“IusedTktopushKikidownwhenshetriedtobiteme,”Marleevolunteered,facemischievous.“Shecriedandtattled,buttheteachersaiditservedherright.”
SincewolfteethcoulddoconsiderabledamagetoweakerPsyphysiology,Brennahadtoagree.“Ithinkso,too.”
“Iwon’tpushyou.”MarleedroppedherballandcametostandrightinfrontofBrenna.“Don’tbescaredofme.”
Shenodded,tearsthickinherthroat.“Okay.”
Smiling,MarleeleanedinandwrappedherarmstightaroundBrenna’sneck.Shaking,Brennaheldthatsmallbodytoherownandletthetearsrolldownherface
“It’sokay,thebadmanwon’tgetyou.”Smallpatsonherback.“MydaddyandUncleJuddandevenSiennacanscarehimaway.”
Itonlymadehercryharder.Howcouldshehavebeenafraidofthissweet,tenderheartedchildforevenasecond?How?Wasshethattwisted,thatbadlydamaged?
Amovement.
ShejerkedupherheadtodiscoverWalkerLaurenstandingafewfeetaway.Unlikehisdaughter,WalkerwasquintessentiallyPsy,impassive,unemotional,cold.YettherewasafierceprotectivenesstohimwhenhelookedatMarlee.
Breakingtheeyecontact,BrennahuggedMarleeforseveralmoreseconds,soakinguphergenerouschildishempathy.“Thankyou,”shesaidaftertheyparted.
Smallfingersbegantowipeawayhertears.“Wanttoplayballwithme?”
BrennalookedatWalker.“Ifit’sokaywithyourdad.”
“Tenminutes,”Walkersaid.“It’swaypastyourbedtime.”
Marleeheavedoutasighsoput-uponthatBrennafoundherselfsmiling.“Tellyouwhat—I’llcomebytoplaywithyouagainsometime.”
ThatsatisfiedMarleeandtenminuteslatertothesecond,Brennasaidgood-byeandwenttofindHawke.SheranintoRileyinstead.HerbrotherwashappytoconfirmthatJuddhadn’treturnedtotheden.“Youshouldn’tbesniffingaroundafterhiminthefirstplace.”
“Don’tstart.AndI’mnotsniffingathim.”Shewasstillmadoverthewayhe’dabandonedher.Nowhe’drubbedsaltintothewoundbynotbotheringtocomebacksoshecouldflaytheskinoffhisbones.Thatwashowyoufought.Disappearingwasasignofaggressionanddisinterest.
Fine.Ifthatwashowhewantedit,therewereplentymoremalefishinthesea.
Shewentprowling.Itwastimetogetbackinthegame.
Juddwoketothesmellofflowersandthesoundofasopranochoir.Helayinbedandlistenedforseveralminutesashecheckedhissenses.Allthementalandpsychicchannelswereopenandrunningatfullstrength.Satisfied,heswunghislegsoverthesideandstoodtobegingoingthroughastretchroutinedesignedtotesteveryoneofhismusclegroups.Theverdictwasclear—hewasfullyfunctional.
Strippingoffhisbriefs,heduckedintothetinyshowercubicletohisleft.Onceclean,hepulledonthepantsandsweaterhe’dshuckedbeforecrashingyesterday.Hisjacketwasinthecarwherehe’dleftit.Whenheopenedthedoorandwalkedoutintothehallwayatthebackofthechurch,hewasstruckbythecrystalclarityofthechoir.
ThePsyhadlosttheabilitytoproducesuchtonesafterSilence,theirvoicestooflat,toodead.Butashisracedidn’tlistentomusic,thatwasconsiderednoloss.Today,Juddknewthattobealie—itwasaloss,agreatone.Thefacthecouldunderstandboththattruthandthebeautyofwhatheheardwasanotherwarningsign,onehechosetoignore.
FatherPerezemergedfromanotherroomdownthehall.“Ah,you’reawake.”Hisexpressionwaspensive.“Youokay?Lookedbeatwhenyoucamein.”
Juddhadmanagedtomakeitbehindthelockeddoorofthespareroombytheslimmestofmargins.“I’mfine.Thankyouforthebed.”Andforaskingnoquestions.
“Whatarefriendsfor?”Perezsmiled.“Howaboutabitetoeat?You’vebeenoutfor”—heglancedathiswatch—“closetotwentyhours.”
“I’llget—”Hewasabouttosaysomethingelsewhenasenseofurgencysuddenlyexplodedtolifeinhisbrain.Hehadtogetback—toBrenna.Beforeitwastoolate.“Ihavetogo.”Withthat,heranpastthepriestandout.
Thecarwaswaitingintheattachedindoorgarage,fuelcellshavingrechargedduringhisrecovery.Itwastemptingtogetinandtakeoffwithoutdelay,buthespenttencarefulminutescheckingthecarfortrackingequipment.TheSnowDancerswerefanaticalaboutkeepingtheirdenasecret—theirtecharmhadevenperfectedsatellite-deflectingtechnologybeforethefirstspysatelliteeverachievedstableorbit.
Juddagreedwiththeirstance.Enemiescouldn’ttargetwhattheycouldn’tsee.He’ddonothingtojeopardizethewolves’safetybecausethatwouldjeopardizeBrenna’ssafety.Andthatwasunacceptable.
Bythetimeheparkedthecarintheundergroundgaragebeneaththeden,thewarninginJudd’sbrainhadgonecritical.Hebeganrunningfull-tiltthesecondhehitthegroundandmadeittotheKincaidfamilyquartersinlessthanaminute.
Thedoorwasopen.
HeenteredtofindRiley,Andrew,Hawke,andGreg—awolfJuddknewtobebothviciousandbigoted—standinginthelivingroom.GregwasbleedingfromseverallacerationsonhisfaceandAndrewboreanumberofcutsonhisleftforearm.
“Whereisshe?”
Allfourmenlookedup.Andrewbaredhisteeth.“Getthehellout!Yourkindisthereasonshe’slikethis!”
JuddlookedatGreg’sface.“Whatdidyoudotoher?”Icespreadthroughhisveins,bringingthedarkheartofhim,thepartthatcouldkillwithoutcompunction,tothesurface.
“Nothing!”Gregyelled.“That’swhatIkeeptryingtotellyouall.Ifuckingdidnothingtoyourlittleprincess.”
“WatchyourmouthorI’llclockyoumyself,”Hawkegrowled.
Gregraisedhishandspalmsout.“Look,sheisn’tpartofourregularcrowd,butshespentthenighthangingwithme,Madeline,Quentin,Tilau,andLaine.Wethrewtogethersomedinnerandthenchilledatmyplace.Whentheothersleft,shestuckaround.”
JuddwasfocusingveryhardinanattempttokeephimselffromkillingGreg.He’dfiguredoutthatBrennawasbehindthecloseddooratRiley’sback.Andshewasintrouble.Despitethedissonancehammeringathim,hecouldteleporthimselfacrossthespacewithoutproblem.However,hisinstincts—thatwordagain—toldhimtowait,thatheneededthefacts,neededtoknowwhatdamageGreghaddone.
“Ithoughtshewantedto…youknow.”Gregshrugged.“ButsheleftafteranhouroftalkandIgaveitup.”
“Justlikethat?”Andrewgrowled.“You’renotknownforyourforgivingnature.”
“I’malsonotamoron.YouandRileywould’veeatenmealiveifI’ddoneanything.”Theadmissionfithispersonality.“AndIthoughtshemightbeteasingtobuilduptothemainevent,likethefemalessometimesliketodo.”
Thewolvesdidn’tinterruptsoJuddgatheredthattobeatruthfulassertion.Buthedidnotwanttothinkaboutthe“mainevent”andwhatmighthavetakenplaceinthatroomlessthanfifteenfeetfromhim.
“Then,”Gregcontinued,“Igotacalltodayinvitingmehere.Iwasn’tkeen—Imeanuntilshesaidyoutwoweregoingtobeoutforhours.”
“Soyouhurther.”RileymovedtogripGreg’sneckinabruisinghold,histonequiet.Deadly.“Whatdidyoudo?”
GregshovedatRiley’sarmbutcouldn’tbreakaway.“Shewaswearingarobe,forcrissakes!”hechokedout.“WhatelsewasIsupposedtothinkwhenshecrookedafingerandtoldmetoclosethedoor?”
TheimagedidsomethinginsideofJudd,brokeoneofthevitalchainsofcontrol.HecouldsuddenlyfeelGreg’sheartasifitlayinhishand,thebeatrapidandpanicked.Onehardsqueezeand—
HawkeputanarmonRiley’s,breakingJudd’slineofsight.“He’stellingthetruthabouttherobeatleast.Lethimtalk.”
Rileydidn’tbudge.“Didshesayno?Anddon’tyoulietome.”
Thechainslippedagain.“TellusorIsmashyourbrain.”Hemadethewordsmatter-of-factbecausetheywere.“You’llbeluckyifyoucanfeedyourselfafterward.”Movingupfromtheheart,hewrappedpoweraroundGreg’sskull.Andbegantoapplypressure.
Utterterrorrolledthroughtheothermale’seyes.“Hawke,stophim!”
Thealpha’sgazemetJudd’s.“Don’tkillhimyet.Weneedtoknowwhathappened.”
Gregstartedspeakingontheheelsofthatpronouncement.“Iswearshedidn’tsayno!Ikissedherandwenttoputmyhandonhershoulder.Thatwaswhenshefreaked.ClawedmebeforeIcouldmove.Ididn’tevenpushher,Iwassobusytryingtogetoutbeforeshepuncturedmyeyeballsorsomething.”
RileyreleasedGreg.Hedroppedtothefloor,coughing.Atthesameinstant,HawkelookedatJudd,thepalesilver-blueofhiseyesmorewolfthanhuman.“Shewon’tletanyonenearher,includingLara.Lara’sgonetotryandtrackdownSascha.”Whitelinesbracketedhismouth.“We’dforceourwayinbuteverytimewetry,shescreamssodamnhardwe’reafraidofdamagingher.”
Anymorethanshe’salreadybeendamaged.Juddsawtheunspokenjudgmentonalltheiragonizedfaces.Hisresolvefirmedintogranite.“Icanpullherout.”
Andrewmadeanangrymovetowardhim,butHawkepushedhimbackbeforeJuddcould.Hewasn’tgoingtoplaystupidgameswhenBrenna’ssanitywasatstake.Buthecouldn’tteleportin—seeinghimusetelekinesiswouldonlyenrageher.
“Yousure?”HawkeshovedAndrewbackasecondtime.“Shewaspissedwithyoutobeginwith.”
Whichwaswhyshe’dgoneafterthisuselessexcuseforamalesnivelingattheirfeet.But,astillclearheadedpartofhimpointedout,suchanactofbetrayalwasn’tinBrenna’snature.Itsimplydidnotfit.“Ihaveabetterchancethananyofyou.”
“Why?Becauseyou’reoneofthepsychopathicracethatdidthistoher?”Andrewagain,angerandfrustratedprotectivenesscombined.
“I’vewalkedinherdarkness.”Ithadbeenanunavoidablesideeffectofthehealingprocess.He’dfedpowertoSaschathroughatelepathiclink,butthatlinkhadinturnfedhimthehorrifyingagonyofBrenna’smemories.He’dthoughttheexperiencehadhadnoimpact.He’dbeenwrong.“Iknowwhattosaytobringherback.”
Noonegotinhiswayafterthat.BeforeopeningBrenna’sdoor,hehaltedandturnedtoGreg.“Yousayasinglewordaboutanyofthis,youdie.”Noroomfornegotiation.
Greg’seyesbulged.“Iwon’ttell,Iswear.”
Turning,Juddputhishandontheknob,pusheditopen,andsteppedinside.Shecameathiminasilenthailofteethandclaws,slamminghisbodyagainstthedoorandcausingittoshutwithaviolentbang.Hegrabbedherwristsbarelyintimetosavehiseyes.
Hisholdmadeherfurygofromredtomolten.Restraints,herealizedatonce.SantanoEnriquehadusedrestraintsonher.“RetractyourclawsandI’llletyougo.”Hemadehistoneadamantine,soharditwaspureunbreakablemetal.
Stilleerilysilent,shetriedtouseherlegstotriphimup,buthewastoofast,shiftinghisstancebeforeshecouldgetalever.Itmadehershoveforwardinarushofangryenergy,therazor-sharpbladesofherclawscominganinchcloserbeforehestoppedher.Therewasnothingsanelookingbackathimfromthewildblue-brownofherfracturedeyes.TheBrennaheknewhadretreatedtoasafehaveninhermind,thesameplacethathadallowedhertosurviveEnrique.Therestofherwastrappedinmemoriesofbrutalization.
Saschacould’vetakenthosememoriesfromher,butBrennahadbeenresolute—shewantedherscars.Andasiftoprovethatthosescarsdidn’tweakenher,she’drecoveredwithsuchspiritthatshe’dturnedherselfintoamiracle.ButtheveryspeedofherrecoveryhadworriedbothSaschaandLara.Thetwohealershadbeenconcernedaboutapossiblerelapse—butnoonecould’vepredictedthis.
Whenshebaredherteethathimandbegantotwistandstruggle,heknewshewasgoingtohurtherselfifhedidn’tstopher.Takingachance,hereleasedherwristsatthesametimeashepinnedherarmsinatighthug.Herclawsscrapedhissides,tearinghissweaterandcuttingthroughtheupperlayersofskinbeforehegotherimmobilizedagainsthisbody.Herteethclampedoverhiscarotidartery.Butshedidn’tbitethrough.
“Brenna,youwillcomeback.Ifyoudon’t,Enriquewins.”Hecouldfeelthebloodbeginningtotrickledownhissides,butitwasBrenna’steeththatposedtherealdanger.Hecoulddisableher—ifhewaspreparedtohurther.Hewasn’t.
“He’swinningrightnow,”hetoldher.“Makingyouawhimpering,clawingmesseveryonethinksisinsane.”Cruelwords,buttheonlyonesthatwouldprovokeherenoughtosnapherawake.“Isthatwhoyouare?Abrokenwolf?Whathemadeyou?”
Snarling,shereleasedhiscarotid.“Shutup.”Blindrage.
“Why?EverythingI’vesaidistrue.”Hekeptpushingwhereotherswould’vestopped.“Youhavebloodyclaws,yourfaceisferalandyourclothestorn.Youlooklikeawomanwho’sjumpedtheledgeintomadness.”
Shestampedonhisbootwithherbarefoot.“Ibetyoulearnedyourbedsidemannerthesameplaceyoulearnedyourcharm—theCouncilgulag.”
Hereleasedherarms,abletoheartherealBrennainthatbitingstatement.Butsheremainedinplace,facepressedtohischest.Chancingaggression,heputonehandonthebackofherheadinagesturethatwasasinstinctiveashisknowledgeofwhattodoandsaytothischangelingfemale.AnotherbreachoftheProtocol,anothericepickofpainthroughhiscerebralcortex,butnothingdangerousenoughtosetoffhismurderousabilities.Notyet.
Brennaputapalmoverhisheartbeat.“Ibledyou.”
“Surfacelacerations.They’llheal.”
“Toobad.Youdeservetobeclawedhardenoughtobearscars.”Callouswords,butshewasstilltuckedagainsthisbody.
ThecomplexitiesofemotionalinteractionofteneludedhimbutnotwithBrenna.Nothere.Notnow.“Thatwouldbeacaseofcuttingoffyournosetospiteyourface—youseemtohaveadistinctlikingformybodyasitis.”
Herfreearmwentaroundhiswaist,thesatinofherrobepassingoverhiscutslikeacoolbreeze.“MaybeIlikemymenscratchedup.MaybeIliketoscratchthemup.”
“IsthatwhyyouchoseGreg?Becausehelikesviolence?”heasked,andsuddenlyrealizedthatthechainthathadbrokeninsidehimwasnowhereclosetobeingrepaired.
“IfiguredifIwasgoingtogobad,itmightaswellbeinstyle.”Herfingersdugslightlyintohischest.“Iwantedtomakeyounotice.”
Herhonestywasunexpected.“Yousucceeded—Idid.”
“Butyoucareaboutasmuchasyoudidbefore.Zilch.”Liquidangerineverybreath.“Youstrungmeouttodryatthecabin!”
Nowheunderstoodexactlyhowpowerfularulehe’dbroken.“IalmostkilledGreg,”hesaid.“Infact,Istillhaveaconnectiontohim.Onethoughtandpiecesofhisskullwillimplodeintohisbrain.”CHAPTER19
Brennawentvery,veryquietagainsthim.“Pullback,”shewhispered.“Pullback.”
“Doeshemattersomuchtoyou?”HecouldtastethestructuralstrengthofGreg’sskull,knewpreciselyhowmuchpressureitwouldtaketocollapseit.
Shesnappedupherhead,eyesfrightened.“No.You’retheonlyonewhomatters.YoukillGregandHawkemighthavetoexecuteyou!”
Heconsideredit.“Hekissedyou.”
“Hetried.Damnit,Judd.Pullback!”Givingafrustratedcrywhenhedidn’treply,shestoodontiptoeandpressedarowofkissesalonghisjaw.
Soft.Sounbearablysoft.He’dneverfeltanythinglikeit.“Nowyou’vehadtentimeswhathedidn’tcomeclosetogetting.”Anotherkissonhisthroat.“Hemattersnothing.Sopullbackoryou’regoingbackinmybadbook.”
“WasIout?”HebrokethepsychicthreadthathadkepthimawareofGreg’sphysicalstatusandposition.
“Maybe.”Shenuzzledathisthroat.“DidyouletGreggo?”
“Yes.”Heslidhishanddowntohernape.“Hewasinyourfamily’slivingareawhenIcamein,butI’mguessingyourbrothershavegottenridofhimbynow.”
Shedroppedherforeheadtohischest,lettinghimgriphernapeinaholdmostPsywould’vereadasthreatening.“HowdoIfacethem?”Therewasdeephumiliationinhervoice.“Gregwon’tkeephismouthshut—everyonewillknow.”
“Hewon’tsayaword.Trustme.”
“ButmybrothersandHawke.Theyknow.Iremembertheirfaceswhentheycameinbefore.TheythinkI’mcrazy.”
“Thenprovethemwrong.”
“Whatifthey’renot?”Shesoundedshaken,shocked.“Ilostit,Judd.Ireallylostit.”
“We’lltalkaboutthatlater.”Theydidhaveaproblemtodealwithandithadtobedealtwith,notsweptundertherug.“Butfirstyou’regoingtoshowerandgetdressedsoyoucanreassureyourfamily.”Hespoketoherashemighttoanewrecruit,givingfirm,shortinstructions.“Goon.I’llholdthefort.”Releasinghisgrasponherneck,heslidhishanddownthecurveofherbackbeforeliftingitaway.Asmallindulgence.Worththered-hotskewerofdissonanceshovingthroughhisspinalcolumn.
Shetookadeepbreath,thenbrokeaway.“You’llbeherewhenIcomeout?”
Heknewhowmuchthatquestionhadtohavecostthisproudchangeling.“EvenAndrewcouldn’tmoveme.”
Herlipsquirkedalittle.“He’sokay,youknow.Justover-protective.”
“Iknow.”Morethanthat,heunderstood.
Nodding,sheturnedanddisappearedbehindadoorheassumedledtothebathroom.Heleanedhisbackonthebedroomdoor—noonewasgettingthrough.Hehadmadeapromiseandhewouldcarryitthrough.Evenashethoughtthat,vibrationstraveleddownhisspineassomeonebangedonthedoor.“Brenna?”
“She’llbeoutsoon.”JuddshoredupthebarrierwithTk.
Thebathroomdooropenedapproximatelytenminuteslater.Brennastoodtherewrappedinafluffybluetowelthatonlyjustreachedherupperthighsandseemedinprecariousdangeroffallingofftheriseofherbreasts.“Iforgottotakeinachangeofclothes.”Sheblushed.“Didn’twanttoputthatrobebackon.”
Sincehefoundhehadtroubleenunciatingwords,Juddsimplynodded.Shewalkedshylyintotheroomandbegantogatherherclothingfromthebureau.Hecaughtaglimpseofpaleyellowlaceasshetookthingsfromatopdrawerandorderedhimselftolookaway.Therewasnoreasonforhimtoinvadeherprivacy.“Wouldyoulikemetostepoutside?”
Brennaglancedoverhershoulder,eyeshuge.“Stay.Youmakemefeelsafe.”
“Notwhatpeopleusuallyfeelaroundme.”
SheshruggedandhehadtofighttheurgetothrowoutsomeTkandcatchthetowelhewassurewasonthevergeofbeingdislodged.“Youdon’tusuallycuddlepeoplewhoarehystericalafteramajorfreak-out.”
Cuddle?Ittookconsiderableefforttoforcehismindbackontrack.“Isaidwe’lltalkaboutthatlater.Getdressedbeforeyourbrothersdecidetobreakdownthedoor.”
Sheturnedbacktoherdresserandgrabbedapairofjeansandabluesweater.Herlegswerebarenearlyallthewayupandnomatterhowhardhetriednottolook,hecouldn’tdraghisattentionfromher.Herskinappearedassoftasherlipshadfelt,smoothandflushedpinkfromtheheatoftheshower.
Alightningboltofdissonanceshotthroughhisspine,strongenoughtocausespotsinfrontofhiseyes.Ironically,hemanageditusingthesametoolshe’dbeengiventohandleinterrogationundertorture.Heknewhewastreadingonthinice—he’dcomeclosetokillingmindlesslytoday.Thatlackofdisciplineindicatedseveredegradationincriticalcomponentsofhisconditioning.Evenknowingthat,hecouldn’tstophiseyesfromdrinkinginthesightofher,hisbodytighteninginunfamiliarneed.
Brennaspunaroundwithoutwarning,clothesclutchedtoherchest.Herbreastsplumpedoverthetop,drawinghiseye.“Icanfeelyouwatchingme.”
“Impossible.”Thattowelwasgoingtounravel.Ifshemovedherhands,itwouldfall.Hedecidedhewouldn’tuseTktostopitsdescentafterall.
Shescowled.“AreyousayingI’mnotworthlookingat?”
“Ididn’tmeantoimplythat.”Washerskinthatsoftallover?That…biteable.
Asecondboltshotthroughhisspine,originatingfromhisbrainstemandtravelingdown.DesignedtocrippleanordinaryPsy.ButhewasanArrow.
“Youhavethatmalelookinyoureyes.”
Inspiteofthebattlehewasfightingtosegregatethepain,itsuddenlystruckhimthatthismightbedistressingtoherafterherrecentrelapse.“Iapologize.Ididn’tmeantomakeyouuncomfortable.”
Brennawantedtolaugh.“Whynot?”Shewalkedbacktothebathroom,anextraswaytoherhips.Damnbutthemanhadsometiming.Thereshe’dbeenfeelingaboutasattractiveasapsychoticratandthenhe’dlookedatherlikethat
Asifhewantedtolickherstraightup.
Sheshivered.Puremaleheat,that’swhatshe’dseeninthosePsyeyes,rawandhungryanddominant.Shepressedherthighstogetherattheimagesthatassaultedherbrain.He’dtrytotakeoverinbed,ofthatshehadnodoubt.Hewouldn’tletherpethimtill…after.Themanlikedtobeincontrol.Goodthingshewasnowiltingviolet.
“You’realltalk,BrennaShane,”shemuttered,droppingthetowelandpullingonherpantiesoverfleshsensitizedfromherthoughtsalone.Whatwouldhappenifheactuallytouchedherthere?Shesuckedinabreath,breastsrising.“Amess,that’swhatIam.”
Astodayhadmadeclear,shecouldflirtwiththebestofthem,butgettingdowntobusinessmadehershatterintoathousandpieces.Whatshecouldn’tunderstandwaswhyshe’dgoneafterGreginthefirstplace—itwasmorebizarrebehavioronherpart.Sure,she’dbeenmadatJudd,butitwasn’tlikehertotrytoinspirejealousybyusinganotherman.AndGregwasinnowayhertype.Still,hehadn’tdeservedwhatshe’ddone.
Wincing,shewonderedhowbadamessshe’dmadeofhisface.He’dhardlyeventouchedhislipstoherswhenshe’dfeltthedarkwaveofviolentinsanitypouroverher,thickandchoking.Thefirstfewminutesafterthatwereblackedout.AllshecouldrememberwasseeingGregbackingoff,handspressedtoableedingface.Justlikeherattemptatwreakingrevenge,thedisproportionateresponsemadenosense.
Enriquehadneverkissedher.She’dbeenananimaltohim,tobetorturedandexperimentedon.Alabrat.Itrevoltedherthatthelasttimeshe’dbeeninwolfform,ithadbeeninfrontofhim.He’dsomehowlearnedtoforcethechangeonher,humiliatingherbytakingwhatshemosttreasuredandturningitintopainandakindofpsychicrapeshehadneverimaginedmightexist.Intheend,he’dtornherchangelingheartrightoutofher.
“Brenna.”
Shestarted.“I’mcoming.”Shakingoffthememories,shefinishedgettingready,thencheckedthatherhairwasokay.Theshortstrandswereanothermarkhe’dleft,oneshehatedseeinginthemirror.
Juddwasstandingalmostonthedoorstepandshenearlywalkedintohim.Itwasallshecoulddonottohideinhisarms.“I’mready.”Shedirectedabrightsmilehisway.
Helookedatherwiththepurefocusofahunter.“Youdon’thavetopretendforme.”
Sheswallowedandletthesmilefade.“Formybrothersthen.ForHawke.Ibroketheirheartsonce.Iwon’tdoitagain.”Seeingthatangrypainintheireyes—thepainofmenwhohadn’tbeenabletoprotectwhattheyloved—devastatedher.“Lieifyouhaveto,”shetoldJudd,“butdon’tletonhowseriousthiswas.”Sheknewithadbeenveryserious,anightmarethathadcrushedherhopeofnormality.
“Alright.Butyoucan’ttrytopretendthatnothinghappened.”Acommand.“That’llonlymakethemmoreconcerned.”
Shedecidedtolistentohim.“Okay.”Whenhemovedtoopenthebedroomdoor,shesawthejaggedtearsintheblackwoolofhissweater.“I’msorry.”
“I’vetoldyou,they’resurfacecuts.It’lllikelycalmyourbrotherstoseethatyoudrewPsyblood.”
Shelaughedandthatwaswhenheopenedthedoor.AndrewwasarguingwithRileybutfrozetheinstantsheexitedtheroom,Judd’ssilentdarknessatherback.Hawkewasthefirsttomoveforward.“Youlookgood,Bren.”
“Ifeelgood.”Shepressedherskinagainsthishandwhenhecuppedhercheek.
Hawke’siceblueeyeslookedoverherhead.“Youbroughtherback.”
“Shehadnothingtocomebackfrom.”AbsolutePsycalmasheliedforher.“Youmistookasmallsetbackforacompletedegeneration.”
Hawkescowled.“Thatwasahellofalotmorethanasmallsetback.”
“Bren,”Drewinterrupted,breakingHawke’stouchtopullherintohisarms.Hishugwascrushing.“Gregsworehedidn’ttouchyou.Didhe?”
Sheknewthatifshesaidyes,Greg’slifewasforfeit.AsitwouldhavealreadybeenhadshenotstayedJudd’shand.HerPsy’sreaction,ontheotherhand,wasadifferentstoryaltogether.ThathadbeennoactofemotionlessSilence.
“Gregdidnothing,”shesaid.“HemerelyhadthebadlucktobethefirstmaleItriedanythingsexualwithsincetheabduction.”
Herbrotherreleasedher.“I’veneverseenyoulikethat.”
“Andyouwon’tagain.”Shedidn’thaveanyotherexplanationtogivehimandwashopinghewouldn’tpush.Thenheopenedhismouth.
ButJuddbeathimtoit.“SaschaandIhavebeenpreparingforsuchalapse,thoughwedidn’tbelieveitwouldoccursoabruptly.”
“What?”Walkingcloser,RileytuggedBrennaintothecurveofhisarm,turninghersoshewasnolongerstandingwithherbacktoJudd.
“Yoursisterhasabackboneofsteel.”Darkchocolateeyesmethers.“Sherefusedtocryorreleaseheremotionsinanybutthemostrestrainedfashionduringthehealing.”
“Buildingupthepressure,”Brennacompleted,movingfromRiley’sholdtostandbesideJuddagain.“Ishould’velistenedtoSascha.”Thehealerhadurgedhertoembraceandacceptthatshe’dbeenhurt,rapedinthemostsadisticoffashions,hermindstrippedandthenfilledwiththingsthatwerenotherown,herbodytortured.ButBrennahadsimplywantedtomovepastit,topickupthethreadsofherlifeasiftheyhadneverbeensnapped.
“YoucanlistentoSaschawhenshearrives,”Hawkeordered.“She’llbeheresoon.”
“No.”Itcameoutwithoutthought.Atthewarylooksontheirfaces,shetemperedhertone.“Ineedtimetosortthisoutinmyownhead.Juddcanhelpmeifnecessary.”
“He’sanassassin,notahealer.”Riley’svoicedroppedclosetoagrowl.
Itwoundedherthatbecauseofher,hergenerous,forgivingbrothershadbecomesoinflexibleintheirhatredofthePsyasarace.“Riley—”
“You’llseeSascha,”heordered.
“Enough.”Judd’svoiceheldanunmistakabletoneofcommand.“Bullyingherintoseeinganyonewon’thelpthesituation.”
Rileytookanaggressivestepforward.“Wecallthistakingcareofourown.You’vedoneyourbit,sogetlost.Noonewantsyouhere.”
Brennafeltherstomachdrop.IfJuddhadbeenachangeling,thosewordswould’vebeenreasonenoughforafight.Abigone.Andafterhavingseenthelookinhiseyeswhenhe’dspokenofexecutingGreg,shewasn’tsosureabouthiscontrol.Steppingbackinwhatshehopedwasanunobtrusivemanner,sheletthefingersofonehandbrushoverhisthigh.Themuscleswerebunched,readytoattack.
“Brennaisperfectlycapableoftakingcareofherself,”hesaid.“Ifyouwanttohelpher,stopmakingherfeelincapableateveryturn.”
Shewincedinwardlyatthatfreezingtone.Oh,hewaspissed,butcoveringitwithalayerofPsyarrogance.“He’sright.”ShelookedatRiley,herhandflatteningonJudd’sthigh.Strongwarmmuscle.Ithadn’trelaxedevenafraction.“Youtwoneedtobackoffbeforeyousuffocateme.You,too,”shesaidtoHawke.
Whitelinesbracketedhismouth.“Untilwefigureoutwhatthehyenaswereupto,therulesstillapply.You’vebecomeasymbolofchangelingstrength—ifanyonesucceedsintakingyouout,it’llleadtoblood.Sostayinthedenorwithintheinnerperimeter.”
Itchafedbutshenodded,decidingtofightonebattleatatime.Rightnow,thatinvolvedkeepingherbrothersandJuddfromtearingintoeachother.“ButyouhavetosendDrewbacktoSanDiegoandreassignRileysohe’snotinthedensomuch.”
Herbrothersgrowled.Hawkeraisedahandtocutthemoff.“That’sfamilybusiness.Ineedthemhere.”
“ThenIwantaroomattheotherendoftheden,”sheinsisted,derivingstrengthfromthedarkangelatherback.“OrIswearI’mmovingbacktothecity.”
Andrewsworeabluestreak.“Nowyou’rebeing—”
“Don’t.”Judd’squietmenace.
Hermiddlesiblingwentmotionless.“HowdoIknowyou’renot…”Hisvoicetrailedoffassheletoutachokedcry,abletofeelherfacetwistingintoamaskofshock.
“Thathe’snotwhat?Controllingme?”sheasked,throatthickwithhurt.“Isthatwhatyouthinkofme—thatIhavenospineunlessaPsyisforcingitonme?”
“Ididn’tmean—”
“Thenyoushouldn’thavesaidit!”Shechosetoturntheheartbreakingpainintoanger.“Ineedyoutostandbyme,notchipawayatmyconfidence.Doyouknowtheonlypersoninthisroomwho’snevermademefeelinadequate?Judd.”
Andrewsuckedinabreath,asifhe’dbeenpunched.Rileywastheonewhoanswered.“Youtaketheserooms.They’rethemostsecureintermsoftheirlocation.We’llfindbunksinthesoldiers’section.”Heleftwithoutgivingherachancetorespond,forcingDrewtogowithhim.
HawkeshotJuddameasuringglance.“I’msendingsomeoneelsetocoverthecabinregionfornow.”
“Understood.”
Hawkeleftthenextsecond.
Finally,shewasalone.Exceptfortheassassinatherback.“Ineedyoutogo,too.”
Themuscledthighunderherpalmbunched.“Iknowwhattheydon’t.”
Shebroketheintimatecontact—thoughherbodywantedtoexploreit,torollthefeelofhishardbodyaroundher—andturned.“I’lltalktoSaschasoon.Promise.”
CoolPsyeyesmethers.“I’llbeinthedenifyouneedme.”
“Wheredidyougoyesterday?”Atendrilofrememberedangerwormeditswaytothesurface.
“Somewheresafe.”
Shefrowned.“Thedenissafe.”
“Notforme.”Notwhenhewasunconsciousandunabletodefendhimself.“AtleastapercentageofthepopulationbelievesIkilledTimothy.”
“They’llgetoverit.”Sheshiftedherbalancefromonefoottotheother,thenbackagainbeforecontinuing.“IspoketoMarlee.”
Hewaited.
“I’msorry.Ididn’tknowIwasbeingsuchabitchaboutTk-Psy.IswearIdidn’t.”Sheswallowedbutdidn’tattempttobreakeyecontact.“There’ssomuchinmyheadthatdoesn’tmakesense,likethewayIwentafterGreg.Idon’tevenliketheguy.”
SomethingdarkinJuddreareditsheadatthementionoftheotherman.“SeeifSaschaandFaithhaveanynewideasaboutwhatmightbehappening.I’lldosomediggingonmyown.”
Shethrustahandthroughherhair.“Iwill.ButthethingwithGreg—”
“Don’tsayhisnameinmyhearingeveragain.”
Brenna’smouthdroppedopen.“You’restillfurious.”Hervoicewasawhisper
Shewaswrong.Ifhe’dbeenfurious,bloodwouldbesoakingthesewalls,thesmellofhumantissuethickintheair.“Makethosecalls.”Heleftbeforeshecouldaskhimanymorequestions.Theanswersmightsendherscreaming.
SaschaturnedtoLucasastheylayinbed,thinkingoverthecallshe’dreceivedafewhoursago.“I’mworriedaboutBrenna.”
“Ithoughtyousaidshewasrecovering.”Hisarmcamearoundher,urginghertosprawloverhischest.
“Payattention.”Butshewaswherehe’dwantedher.
Asatisfiedcatsmile.“Iam.Tellmeaboutthewolf.”
“Ican’t.Confidentiality.”
Hishandslippedoverhernakedbottom.“BetIcanmakeyoutalk.”
“It’snotplaytime.”Shenippedathischinthoughtheurgetopurrwasstrong.
Hemovedhishandtoherlowerback,hisversionofbehaving.“Tellme.”
“Idon’tknowwhattodo.”WhatBrennahadtoldherthisevening—inparticularthesuddenchangesinpersonalityandbehavior—wasdeeplytroubling.“I’mworriedImissedsomeofthedamageinherpsyche.”Hermind-healingabilitieswerestillnewtoher,havingbeensuppressedbySilenceformostofherlife.Alotofitwasinstinctive,butBrenna’smindhadbeensobadlytornapart.“Halfthetime,Ididn’tknowwhatIwasdoing.”
Lucas’sarmstightened.“Youbroughtherback.Don’tsecond-guessyourselfnow.”
“No,”shedisagreed.“Shebroughtherselfback.Herwill,Lucas,it’slikeasteelflame,onethatrefusestogoout.Brennashouldbedeadrightnow.”
“IfshesurvivedEnrique,thenshecansurviveherownmind.”
SaschaburiedherfaceinthecurveofLucas’sneck,breathinginhisscent.“I’mnotsure.FaithtoldmethatmostF-PsyinthePsyNeteventuallygomad,andthey’retrainedtodealwithmentalpressure.Brennaisn’t.”
Lucas’shandpassedoverherback,longsoothingstrokesfromherneckdowntothecurveofherbottomandback.Apanther’swayofpetting.“Shemightsurpriseyou.ShesureashellsurprisedHawkewithherlateststunt—Ihadachatwithhimaboutthehyenasituation.”Hisangerthatsomeonehaddaredtouchtheircubsputahardedgeinhisvoice,butrightthen,therewasalsoatouchofpredatoryamusement.
SheknewithadtobecausedbyHawke’sapparentproblemswithBrenna—thetwoalphashadn’treallylearnedtoplaynicewitheachotheryet.“Whatdidshedo?”
“She’shookedupwiththedamnPsy.”
Saschasnappedupherhead.“Judd?Brenna’swithJuddLauren?”
Hercatlickedatherexposedneck.“Yousmellgood.”
Saschatriedtokeepthinking.“Buthe’ssocold.”
“WechangelingshavewaysofthawingoutyouPsy.”
Saschacouldhardlyarguewithherownbodymelting.Butevenasshegaveintohercat,apartofherworried.SomethingwasverywrongwithBrenna,andJuddLauren’sicyreservemightonlyexacerbatetheproblem—hecouldn’tgivethechangelingwomanwhatsheneededtohealherself.Touch.Warmth.Unwaveringaffection.CHAPTER20
Judddreamedofkillingagain,ofseeinghishandsdippedinblood.Red.Thebloodwasredintheotherwisemonochromelandscape.ThatwaswhenherealizedheheldBrenna’sdyingheartinhishands.Itwasbeating,apulsingaccusationofwhathe’ddone.
Hewrenchedhimselfawake,sendingoutatelepathicscanatthesameinstant.HefoundBrennafarfasterthanheshould’vebeenableto.Shewassafe.Asleep.Butthatwasnolongeranoptionforhim.Gettingup,hebegandoingpull-upsusingthemetalexercisebarboltedtothewalls.
Bythetimetheclocksignaleddawn,he’dpushedhimselftostrainingpoint.JudgingthatBrennawouldbeawake,hecalledher.
“What?”asleepyvoiceanswered.
“DidyoutalktoSascha?”
Sheturnedonthevisualandhesawthatherfacewassoftwithsleep.Itmadethehungerinhimtwist,itsclawsrakingdownhisinsides—asifhehadabeastwithinhim,too.He’dspenthourslastnightrestoringthefracturesinhisconditioning.Itshouldbeholding.Butthesecondhesawher,herealizedtherewasamajorflawhehadn’tyetfound,ahiddensourceofsubversiveemotion.
“Yes,sir,Judd,sir.”Asmallsmile.“She’scominguptodaytoseeme.”
Heheardthereluctanceinhertone.“Doyou—”
“No.”Sharp.“I’llbefinealone.Seeyoutonight?”
“I’llbeintheden.”Switchingoffthecomm,hehadashowerandthendecidedtoworkoffhisexcessenergybycheckinginwithSienna.Hiseldestniece’sabilitiesweredevelopingatarapidpace—ifheandWalkerdidn’tmanagetoteachhersomecontrol,therewasgoingtoberealtroubledowntheroad.Theproblemwasthat,aswithJudd,thetelepathyeveryoneknewaboutwasonlyhersecondarytalent.Hertruestrengthwassomethingsovolatile,evenPsysteeredclearofthosewhohadit.
SinceSiennawasinanunusuallycooperativemood,thesessionwentwell.Hewasreturningfromitmidmorning—afterashortdetour—whenasmallnakedbodybarreledintohiminoneofthemaincorridors.SteadyingtheboywithTk,helookeddown.Thechildliftedafingertohislips.“Shh.I’mhiding.”Withthat,hewentbehindJuddandscrambledintoasmallalcove.“Quickly!”
Notsurewhyheobeyedtheorder,Juddbackeduptostandinfrontofthealcove,armscrossed.AflusteredLaracamerunningaroundthecornerafewsecondslater.“HaveyouseenBen?Four-year-old.Nakedasajaybird.”
“Howtallishe?”JuddaskedinhismostoverbearingPsymanner.
Larastared.“He’sfour.Howtalldoyouthinkheis?Haveyouseenhimornot?”
“Letmethink…didyousayhewasnaked?”
“Hewasabouttobebathed.Slipperylittlemonkey.”
AgigglefrombehindJudd.
Lara’seyeswidenedandthenherlipstwitched.“Soyouhaven’tseenhim?”
“Withoutaproperdescription,Ican’tbesure.”
Thehealerwasobviouslytryingnottolaugh.“Youshouldn’tencouragehim—he’sincorrigibleasitis.”
JuddfeltchildishhandsonhisleftcalfandthenBenpokedhisheadout.“I’mincorwigeable,didyahear?”
Juddnodded.“Idobelieveyou’vebeenfound.Whydon’tyougohaveyourbath?”
“Comeon,munchkin.”Laraheldoutahand.
SurprisinglystrongbabyarmsandlegswrappedaroundJudd’sleg.“No.IwannastaywithUncleJudd.”
Laraanticipatedhisquestion.“BenspendsalotoftimewithMarlee.”
“IspendalotoftimewithMarlee,”asmallvoicepipedup.
Juddglanceddown.“Areyousurehe’swolf?Soundsmorelikeaparrottome.”
Ben’sfaceclouded.“Amsoawolf!”LettinggoofJudd,thechildshiftedinashowerofmulticoloredsparks.Juddheldhisbreathuntilasmallwolfbegantryingtoclimbuphisbody.Ben’sprogresswashinderedbythefactthathewasn’tusinghisclaws.
Bending,Juddpickedhimupandheldhimagainsthischest,unabletoexplainhisownbehavior.“Heisn’tclawed.”
“Ofcoursenot,”Larasaid.“It’sthefirstruleweteachthem—noclawsduringplay.Canyouimaginethecarnageotherwise?”
“Logical.”Thepupwasbattingathischest,awarmliveweight.
“That’swhyTaiissoembarrassedhewentclawed.”
Juddhadalreadyputtheincidentoutofhismind.“Weweren’tplaying.Clawswereneveranissue.”
“Notforyou.Buttheywereforhim.”Larablewoutabreathbetweenpursedlips.“Hedidn’tmeantodoit.Helostcontrollikeachild.Itakeithehasn’tapologizedyet?”
“There’snoneed.”JuddcaughtBenasheslipped,holdingthecubmorefirmlyagainsthim.
“Takemyadvice,”thehealeroffered,“ifthekidworksupthegutstoapologize,lethim.It’llmakehimfeelbetter.”
“Alright.”
“Ben.”Lara’stonetriedforharshness,butitwaspatentthatshewascharmedbyhertinycharge.“Let’sgetgoing.”
Ben’sresponsewastogrowlandburyhisheadagainstJudd’schest.
“DoyouwanttospendtherestofthedayinthePen?”
JuddknewthePentobeafencedspaceinsidethenurserybereftoftoys.Asapunishment,itseemedtoworkverywell.Itdidthistime,too.Benwriggledandthenshiftedwithoutwarning.Reactinginstinctively,JuddthrewaTkshieldaroundtheentireshimmer,keepinghishandsexactlywheretheyhadbeenbeforetheboybegantochange.
Ben’sweighthithishandsasplitsecondlaterandtheboytwistedtoholdouthisarmstothehealer.“DoIgottabeclean?”
Takinghim,Laraplantedasmackingkissonhischeek.“Yes,youdo,mylittleescapeartist.”Inherembrace,Bengiggledandturnedhisheadforanotherkiss.
“Lara,”Juddsaidwhenthehealerturnedtoleave.
Sheraisedaneyebrow.
“Whatwould’vehappenedifI’dmovedanddisrupted—”Hedidn’twanttosaythewordsincasetheyhadanegativeimpactonthechild.
“Don’tworry.”LarastrokedonehandoverBen’sheadashelaiditonhershoulder.“Theprocessisn’tthateasilymessedup.OtherwisethePsywould’vetakenadvantageoftheweaknessbynow.”Sheseemedtohaveforgottenshewastalkingtooneofthesamerace.“Anextremelybigdisruptioncancauseerrorsinashift.Mostcanbecorrected—solongasit’snotamajorpartofthebrainthat’scompromised.”
“Buttoshiftnearsomeoneimpliesarelationshipoftrust.”
Larasmiled.“IguessMarleemustlikeheruncleJuddawholelot.”
“Onlyshelikesherdadmore,”Bensaidinastagewhisper.
“Oh,well”—Larawinked—“second’snotsobad.’Bye,Judd.”
JuddfoundhimselfraisinghishandinresponsetothewaveBengavehimoverhershoulder.HewasstillstandingtheretryingtoprocesstheextraordinaryencounterwhenD’Arnpassedhim.
Thesoldierstopped,thenretracedhissteps.“Letmeguess—awomanorapup.”
“Howdidyouknow?”
“Notmuchelseputsthatlookonaman’sface.”Hegrinned.“Meandafewoftheothersaregoingouttoplaysometrainingwargames.Wanttocome?Releasethetension,youknow—everyone’sthinkingaboutTim.Hewasnoprize,buthedidn’tdeservetobemurdered.Andnowthisthingwiththehyenas.”
“Anyprogressthere?”Ifhe’dthoughtthehyenashadtargetedBrennaonpurpose,hewould’vegonehuntinghimself.However—andthoughhecouldfindnocogentreasonforthatsuspicion—hisinstinctssaidthatTimothy’smurdererwastherealthreat.EvenrevisitingthescenethismorningafterspeakingwithSiennahadn’tclarifiedthings.Hehadtheunwelcomesensehewasmissingsomething.
“Some.We’vegotabeadonthebloodyscavengers,buttheydon’tneedallofustoday.”D’Arnshookhisheadinacuriouslycaninegesture.“Anyway,youin?”
Henodded.Brennawassafeinthedenandhehadnosurveillanceworklinedup.Itmightbethatahardphysicalworkoutwaswhatheneededtoclearuphisbrainsohecouldconnectthedotsheknewwerethere.“Rules?”
Theothermanbeganwalking.“Humanform.Drew’sgoingtohandoutlaserbadges.Ahitwithalaserriflewillregisterfromanywhereonyourbodyandlistitselfasaslightinjury,adebilitatingone,lossofeyesight—yougetthedrill.”Hepushedopenadoor.
“Teams?”Juddhadplayedsimilarmilitarygamesbothinpsychicandphysicalterms.AnArrowwhowasn’tashadowdidn’tsurvivelong.
“Two.”Hepushedthroughanexit.“Psyandhuman/changeling.”
“Psy?”JuddaskedastheymadetheirwayoutoftheWhiteZone.
“Ifyou’renotPsy,youhavetohitthetargetintheback.”Hescowled.“Againstalltherulesofnormalfighting,butifaPsyseesyoucomingduringthegame,you’reautomaticallydead.Nosecondchances.”
Juddagreed—becausewhilePsycouldn’tmanipulatechangelingmindswithoutmassiveeffort,theycouldkillwithasinglefocusedblow.“Youhavehumansoldiers?”HehadhisPsyabilitiestocompensateforthechangelings’advantagesintermsofspeed,sensoryinput,andphysicalstrength.Humans,bythatreckoning,hadnothing.“Peoplewhohavematedin?”
D’Arnshookhishead.“Notall.Saul’sex-navy.Hematedin.ButKieranwasadoptedasachild.Sing-Liuyou’vemet.”
Juddhadneverguessedthatthesmallfemalewiththeflateyesofafellowassassinwashuman.ShemovedmoreliketheDarkRivercats.“Martialarts?”
“Nope.OurlittleChinaDolllikesknives.”D’Arnhadbarelygottenthewordsoutwhenaknifewhistledincrediblyclosetohisearandthunkedhomeinatree.Insteadofgoingonalert,D’Arnlaughedandthrewuphishands.“Iwaskidding,honey.”
Sing-Liumaterializedfromtheirright.“Oneofthesedays,”shethreatened,stridingover,“you’regoingtopushmetoofar.AndthenI’llhavetomakeyoueatyourwords.”
TheSnowDancermaleretrievedtheknifehe’ddodgedandheldittohisside.“Promise?Willitinvolvekinkythingswithropeandknives?Please?”
JuddwonderedifD’Arnhadadeathwish.ButthenSing-Liulaughedandkissedthesoldier,eyesturningfromassassintopureseductivewoman.Unexpectedwasnotthewordforit.
“Matedpair.”ThewordscamefromDrew,who’djustwalkedup.“ChinaDoll’sanickname.Shedoesn’tmind—useitifyoulike.”
“Andgetaknifeinmyback,”Juddsaid,hisPsybraincomparingD’Arn’sbehaviorwithSing-LiutohisownwithBrenna.Itdidn’ttakeageniustotellhimhewasn’tgivinghiswolfanythingclosetowhatsheneeded.“IthinkI’llpass.”
“Ihadtotry.”Drewshrugged.“Ontothegames.”Hissmilewasdistinctlysavage.
Juddwasmorethanready,thetensioninhimwoundtoafeverpitch.“Let’splay.”
BrennahadbeenlookingforJuddfortwentyminuteswithoutsuccess.Saschahadjustleftafterseveralhoursoftalk.Theempathhadn’tbeenabletogiveBrennaanyanswersbuthadconvincedherthatshedidn’t“smell”insane.NowshewantedtoshareherreliefwithJudd,wantedtotellhimthattheviolentwomanwho’dshreddedhisskinyesterdayhadbeenanaberration…evenifshedidn’tquitebelieveitherself.
“Lucy”—shestoppedherfriendinthecorridornearHawke’soffice—“youseentall,dark,andsilent?”
“Whichone?”theotherwomandeadpanned.“Yourone’splayingwargameswithAndrewandsomeothers.”
Brenfeltherfacepale.“What?”
“Don’tworry,”Lucycalledoutassheheadedoff.“He’sabigboy.”
ButDrewwasbloodthirsty,especiallywithmenwhodaredbeinvolvedwithhisbabysister.AndafterthewayJuddhadfacedhimdownyesterday…“Calm,becalm,”shetoldherself.“He’sPsy.AverystrongPsy.”Oh,God.WhatifJuddkilledDrew?
Shethrustahandthroughherhair.Inspirationstruck.Shecouldeithergomadworryingor…Turningonherheel,sheranafterLucy.Herfriendsmiledandopenedhermouthtospeak.
SomethingcrashedinHawke’soffice.TheybothlookedupasthedoorwaswrenchedopenandSiennaLaurencamestridingout.Thedoorslammedshutafterher,asifithadbeenkicked.Theseventeen-year-olddidn’tseethem—shewasheadingintheoppositedirection,headdown,fistsclenched.
Lucyraisedaneyebrow.“Thatonedoesn’tactPsy,doesshe?”
“No.”Brennathoughtaboutgoingaftertheclearlyupsetgirl,butSiennadidn’tknowherandwouldprobablynotwelcometheinterference.
“Notlikeyourone.Thatmanispureice.Sexyicebutstillice.”
Brennahadamoment’spause.“Howdoyouknowwe’reinvolved?”
Lucy’slaughwasopenandhonest.“Didyouhityourheadorsomething,Bren?Yousmelllikehim,silly.”
“Oh.”Butsheshouldn’t,notthatdeep.Ascentlayeronlygrewingrained—unabletobewashedoff—betweenlovers.Somethingshe’dneverbecomewithJuddifhegothimselfexecutedforkilli—Stop!“Lucy,Ineedafavor.Canyougetaccesstoavehicle?”
“Sure.Socanyou.”
“NotwithoutRileyfindingout.Um,I’mkindofunderdenarrest.”Shewasgoingtobreaktherules,butshewasn’tgoingtobestupidaboutit.
“Riley’sgotsomeburrunderhisbonnet,”Lucymuttered.“Hechewedmeoutyesterdayfornothing.I’llsneakyououtandit’llbemypleasure.Wherearewegoing?”
“MissLeozandra’sBeautyParlor.”SmackbanginthemiddleofChinatown.
Hewasgoingtotakecareofunfinishedbusinessthismorning.Thedengrapevinehadconfirmedthatthebitchwasfinallyaloneandunprotected.Allhehadtodowaslurehertooneofthedimcornersofthegarage.
She’dcome.Ifshehadrememberedhisface,shewouldhavesquealedbynow.Itdidn’tmatter.Shehadtodie—hecouldn’ttakethechanceofhermemoryreturning.They’dripopenhisstomachandpullouthisgutswhilehewasstillaliveiftheylearnedwhathe’ddone.ThedrugsandTimothy’smurderwerenothingcomparedtohisfirstcrime.
Hebitdownthefear.She’dcome.Shetrustedhim.Hewasoneofthegoodguys.
Onceinthegarage,he’doverdoseherwiththeRushalreadyloadedintothepressureinjector,shoveherintothetrunkofoneofthePackcars,anddriveout.Noonewouldeverfigureoutwhereshe’dgone.Orthey’dblameJuddLauren.Yes,thatwouldwork.He’dmakeitlooklikeJuddhadkilledher,maybeleaveaknifecoatedwithherbloodinthePsy’sroom.
Hesmirked,fearburiedundersickexcitement.
Hisfirstsurprisecamewhenhegottoherapartment.Thedoorwascoveredwiththecool,dangerousscentofthePsyshewasundoubtedlyfucking.Hebackedoffwithouttouchinganything.ThescentcouldbetherebecauseJuddhadspenttimeinside,buthewascertainthePsyhaddonesomething,setupsomekindofweirdpsychictrap.
“Hey,youlookingforBren?”Asmilingface,apackmate.“She’sgoneoffwithLucy.Sawthemleave.”
“No.”Hecouldn’thaveherfindingouthe’dbeenlookingforher.Itmightservetotriggerhermemory.“Drewactually.”
“Iheardsomethingaboutwargames.”
“Thanks.”Hisgutchurnedashewalkedaway.Hecoulddonothingnow,wouldhavetowaituntilthegrinningfoolwho’dinterruptedhimforgothe’deverseenhimoutsidethatdoor.Buthecouldn’twaitforever.Brennamightremember.CHAPTER21
ToBrenna’ssurprise,theymadeitoutofdenterritorywithoutaproblem.ShecrawledoutofthebackseatandaskedLucytostoponcetheywerenolongerinanydangerofbeingspottedbyscouts.“Icantakeitfromhere.”
“Sure?”Afriendlyquestion,nothingmore.
“Ineedtodrive.”
“Haveatit.I’llrunbackandpretendignoranceifRileygrillsme.”
Brennareturnedhermischievoussmile.“Thanks,Lucy.”
“Anytime.”ShegotoutandBrennamovedintothedriver’sseat.Waving,shewatchedherfrienddisappearintothewoods.Thenshetookadeepbreathandthewheel.Herlipsstretchedintoahugesmile.Thisfeltlikefreedom.
ThedrivefromthesnowoftheSierratothecoldbutdrybustleofSanFranciscowasspookilysmooth.Notrafficjams,nowolfsentriesracingtostopher,noredlights.Perfection.Sheshould’veknownitwastooeasy.Afterfindingaverticalstreetpark—hercarbeingslottedupintothethirdlevel—shebeganthetrektothebeautyparlor.Troublestrucklessthanaminutelater.
Atallmalewithamber-goldhairmaterializedoutofnowheretoleanonthewallinfrontofher.“Ithoughtyouweresupposedtoremainattheden.”
“Idon’tbelievethis!”Foldingherarms,shestaredattheDarkRiversentinel.“Theysnitchedmeouttothecats?”Whomightbetheirallies,butwerenotyetfriends.However,shetrustedVaughn.He’dcomeforher—shemight’vebeenunconsciousatthetime,butherwolfremembered.Vaughnwassafe.
Ofcourse,atthismomenthedidn’tlookparticularlyhappytoseeher.“Thesituation’svolatile.Someofourpeoplearen’tfeelingfriendly.”
“Oh.”She’dfailedtotakethatintoaccount,aninexcusablemistakewithwhatwasgoingon.Allshehadwantedwastogetoutandfixthisonethingshecouldfix,evenifhermindwassplinteringintoathousandpieces.“Ishouldgoback,huh?”Shecouldn’thideherdisappointment.
“Whatthehell—I’maroundtoprovidepersonalbodyguardservice.”Hegaveheralookthatcould’vecomefromeitheroneofherbrothers.“Whereto?”
Wantingtohughim,shegrinned.“MissLeozandra’s.”
Brennaleftclosetosunset,afterhavingbeenfedbothalatelunchandanafternoonsnackbyMissLeozandra’spersonalchef.Shecouldn’trememberwhatshe’deaten,shewassoexcitedwithhershoulder-lengthlook.Thegen-synthextensionswereflawless—evenshecouldn’ttellwhereherhairendedandtheybegan.Andshehadbangs!
Nothingcouldputadamperonherhappiness,noteventheknowledgethatshe’dbeenspottedreturningbyseveralsentries.Rileywouldknowinminutes.Shedidn’tcare.Herjoyincreasedwitheachexclamationthatmetheronthewaytoherquarters—thereactionwasunanimouslypositive.
Shedidn’tknowwhowasmoresurprisedwhensheturnedthecornerandfoundJuddleaningoutsidethedoortoherrooms.Hisface,ofcourse,didn’tbetrayanything,butshesawaflickerinhiseyes,somehowknewshe’dcaughthimunawares.Ashadhe.
“Youlookfine.”Disbelieving,shegavehimtheonce-over.Itwasplainhe’dshoweredandputonafreshpairofblackjeansandablackT-shirt.Buttheskinshecouldseewasclearofbruises.
“Whyshouldn’tIbe?”
“Becauseyouwereoutintheforestwithmybrother.”Sheunlockedthedoorandlethimprowlinbehindher,veryawarethatforallhisdeterminationtorestrainhisemotions,he’dcomesearchingforher.Hekickedthedoorshutasshefoughttocontainherjoy.
“Hmm.”Walkingforward,hefingeredastrandofherhair.“Sosoft.”
Shedidn’tsayanythingashestrokedthestrandsthroughhisfingersoverandover,asifattemptingtofigureoutwherethehigh-techfibersjoinedhernaturalhair…ormaybehewassimplyindulginghimself.
“Perfect.”Heletthestrandsslideaway.
“Doyoulikeit?”shefoundherselfaskingdespiteherbetterjudgment.
“Ialreadytoldyou.”
Perfect.
Whatshe’dtakenasacommentonthequalityoftheextensionshadbeenabouther.“Oh.”Feelingalittleshy,shenonethelessreachedoutandhuggedhim.Hewentstiffandshesuddenlyknewitwasn’tareactiontohertouch.Pullingback,shebegantopushuphisT-shirt.“Letmeguess,brokenribs?”
“Brenna.”Hetriedtostopher,butsheswattedawayhishand.
“Oh.My.God.”Theentireleftsideofhischestwasblackandblue.“Whyaren’tyoutapedup?”
“Idon’tneedit.”
SheshoveddowntheT-shirt.“Fine.Beallmachoaboutit.”Thensomethingelseoccurredtoher.Herbloodchilled.“Judd,whatdoesDrewlooklike?”
“Worse.”
“Ishedead?”sheforcedherselftoask.
“No.”
Reliefmadeheralittlelight-headed.“Ithoughtyouguysplayedwithlasers.”
“Wemadesomenewrules.”Itwasobvioushewasn’tgoingtotellheranymore
Shethrewupherhands.“You’renotdead.Drewisn’tdead.That’sgoodenoughforme.”Sheturnedtograbacoupleoficepacksfromthebuilt-incooler.“Sit.”
“Isaid—”
“Sit.”
Hesprawledintoachair.Whenshewrappedtheicepacksinasmalltowelandplacedthemagainsthisribs,hedidn’tprotest.“Whatisitwithmenandtestosterone?”shemuttered,standingintheveeformedbyhisoutstretchedlegs.
“Idon’tthinkyou’dlikeuswithoutit.”Heheldtheicepackstohissidebypinningthemwithhisarm.“Therewasnoneedforthis.”
Shewasabouttosnapacomebackwhensherealizedhe’dcometoherpreciselybecauseshe’dfussoverhim,nomatterwhathemust’vetoldhimselftothecontrary.Herthroattightened.“Humorme,”shesaid,strokinghishairoffhisforehead.“Youneedahaircut.”He’dalwayswornitveryshort,asharpmilitarycut.
“I’llrazoritofftonight.”
“Don’t.Ikindoflikeitthislongerlength.”Itbrushedhisnape,nottoolongbutlongenoughtorunherfingersthrough.
Helookeduptomeethergaze.Themomentstretchedasshestrokedthelongfrontstrandstotheside.“Icouldjusttrimthesebitsthataregettinginyoureyes.”
“Allright.”
Thesimpleacceptancemadeherstomachdrop,herprotectivewallscollapse.“Areyouupforawalk?”Shedidn’twanttofightwithRileyanditwascertainthathewasgoingtoturnupsoontodressherdownforherescape.Shecouldn’tbelieveJuddhadn’tsaidsomethingalready.Butthenagain,hehadn’texactlybehavedhimselftoday,either.
Hegavehertheicepacks.“Wearacoat.It’salreadydark.”
“Whataboutyou?”Thedefinedstrengthofhisforearmsdrewhereye.Herhungertostrokehimwasalmostpainful.Whydidn’thefeelthatsameneed?
“I’llgetmyjacketandmeetyouatthegardendoor.”
Tenminuteslater,theywalkedopenlypasttheWhiteZoneandintotheinnerperimeter—shehopedherbrotherswouldgetthehint.
Juddledhertoaprivatespotbeforestopping.“Talktome.”
Itdidn’tsurpriseherthatheknewtherealreasonshe’daskedhimtocomeouthere.ShetookaseatonafallenlogwhileJuddleanedhismuscularformagainstatreeacrossfromher,seemingtoblendintothedeepebonyofearlyeveningintheSierra.
“I’mmessingupmyfamily,”shesaid,admittingthetruth.“DrewandRiley—didyouseetheirfacesyesterday?Theythinkthey’relosingme.”Toinsanity.
“They’readults,they’lldealwithit.”
“Willthey?LookathowtheyreacteverytimeItrytoreclaimmyindependence.”Itwastheflipsideoftheirintenselyloyalnatures,aprotectivenessthatcoulddestroy.
“Theywanttokeepyousafe.”
Shestared,incredulous.“You’retakingtheirside?”
“Inthisonecase,they’recorrect.Youneedtobeprotectedfromyourownwill.”Hisvoicewaspuresteel.“Youcouldhurtyourselfinyourrushtofixthings.”
“Men!”Itwasasnarlasshegotupandbegantopaceupanddownbesidethelog.“You’resupposedtosupportme,remember?”
“Onlyinpublic,”hesaidwithcoolPsylogic.“Ifyouwanttotalobedience,getadog.”
Shekickedsnowinhisdirection.Caughtbysurprise,JudddeflecteditwithTk.Itjustmadehermadder.“That’scheating.”
“Iwasn’tawarethiswasatest.”Heremainedunmovingasshestrodeovertostandinfrontofhim,cheeksflushedred.Thingswenttightinhisbody,hisskinstretchingtaut.Suchpassioninher,suchanger.“You’rebeautiful,”hesaid,disregardingthesuddenspikeofdissonance,theviolentwarningthathewastooclosetolosingcontrolofthehorrorthatwashis“gift.”
Shesnorted.“I’mnotthateasilyled.”
Scowling,sheturnedtostridebacktothelog.Hiseyesfoundthemselvesdrawntotheswayofherhips,tothelushbottomencasedintightjeansthatshowedoffeverydefiantfemininecurve.Moresparksofpain,furtherwarningsignals.Butthatwasn’twhatmadehimraisehiseyestoherface.Itwasherabruptstillness.
Hestraightened,hissensesflaringout.“Theleopards.”Heknewtheirpsychicsignaturenow,coulddistinguishitfromwolf.
“They’rehere.”Hervoicewasawhisper.“AndIdon’tthinkthey’rehappy.”
“GobackandgetHawke.I’llholdthem.”
Notarguing,sheturnedandtookoffathighspeed.Juddmovedinthedirectionwherehe’dsensedtheDarkRiverleopards.Theywerewaitingontheothersideofasmallclearing.Lucas,Sascha,Dorian,andMercy.Mercy,Judddidn’tknowwell,butheconsideredDorianoneofthemostdangerouschangelingsineitherpack—theDarkRivermalelackedtheabilitytochangeintoleopardform,butthatmeantnothing.OnthenightofBrenna’srescue,JuddhadseenthesentineltearEnriquetopieceswithhisbarehands.
“Youshouldn’tbehere.”They’dbrokentherules.Thetwopackshadanallianceandhadgiveneachothertherighttomovefreelyintheirterritoriallands,buttocomethisclosetothedenwithnopriornoticewasasignofaggression.
LucaswavedDorianandMercyoffwhentheymadeamovetocoverhim.Buthewentinfrontofhismate.Saschascowledbutdidn’tsayanything.
“Ifwe’dwantedwar,wewould’vebeeninthedenbynow.”ThemarkingsonLucas’sface—asifhe’dbeenslashedbytheclawsofsomegreatbeast—weredarkwithblood.“We’reheretotalk.”
“Thenwewait.”Juddtookapositionontheothersideofthesnowyclearing,markinganinvisiblelineinthesnow.
Onethatwasn’tbrokenwhenHawkeandhislieutenantsarrived.Brenna,too,hadreturned.Shetookapositiontohisleftwhiletheotherswenttohisright,flankingHawke.TheSnowDanceralphatookastepforward.“Lucas,thissureashellbetterbesomethinggood.”
LucasmirroredHawke’smove,hisfaceamaskoffury.“TherewasanattackontheDawnSkydeerclan.Theywerebutchered.”
Hawkegrowledlowinhisthroat.“Howmanydead?”
“Nineadults,threechildren.”Lucas’smarkingsbecameevenmoredelineated.“Would’vebeenmore,butFaithhadapartialvisionandmanagedtogetoutawarning.MercyandDorianwerecloseenoughtointervene.TamsynandNateareouttherepickingupthepieces.”
JuddwatchedasSaschaslidherhandintohermate’s,leaningagainsthimbutstayingpartlybehindhisback—givingcomfortwhilenotdistractinghimbybecominganopentarget.Lucas’sfingersclosedaroundSascha’s.“Itwasaplannedslaughter.SixarmedPsyagainstaherdofdeeroutforagraze.”
Juddknewfromlivingwiththewolvesthatdeerwereoneofthemostpeacefulofallchangelings.Theywerealsoveryweakintermsofphysicalstrength.“Why?”heasked,thoughexperiencetoldhimthepresenceofaPsyassassinprobablyinfuriatedtheleopardalpha.“TheCouncilalwayshasareason—theythinkfivestepsahead.”
Lucas’svoicewasclosetoagrowlwhenheanswered.“Iwentouttothesite.Therewasaprettyslickattempttomarkthebodiesaswolfkills—looksliketheyhadweaponsshapedtomimicclaws.Thebodieswereshredded,butaveryfinescentwassomehowlayeredintotwoofthedeer.MercyandDorianmust’veinterruptedthemurderingbastardsbeforetheycoulddotheotherbodies.”
“Ifthedeerhadalldied,”Hawkesaid,alowgrowlinhistone,“noonewould’vebeenlefttopointfingersatthePsy.Itwould’vebeenonus.”
“Changingyourreputationfrompowerfulbutfair,tothatofindiscriminatekillers.”JuddglancedatthesentinelswhostoodbehindLucas.“DidyoutaganyofthePsy?”
Mercylookedatheralphaandansweredonlyafterhisnod.“Wesawthemleavingbutmadethechoicetohelptheinjuredratherthangivechase.Theyhidtheirtraillikeexpertsandthedeeraretootraumatizedtobeofmuchhelpintermsofdescriptions—they’reschoolteachersandaccountants,notsoldiers.”
“WhataboutFaith,didsheseeanything?”Juddasked,knowingFaith’sreputationasthestrongestforeseerinoroutoftheNet.
Saschashookherhead.“She’stakingthishard—shesawitafteritbegan.Saidshesawtheconsequences,nottheact…sawaglimpseofafuturedrenchedinbloodred.”
Therewasaninstantoftotalsilence,thenDorianspoke,hisragemoreevidentthantheothers’.“Oneofthekidsthinkshesawaninsigniaontheleftshoulderoftheiruniforms.Snakes.Kid’sterrifiedofsnakes,soheremembered.”
“Nowhe’sgoingtobephobicaboutthem,”Saschasaid.Hertonewassoftbutherexpressionwasfullofanger.
Lucasturnedtobrushhislipsoverherhair.“Saschawantedtostaywiththesurvivors,butIfiguredwe’dneedaPsyperspective.Didn’tknowhe’dbehere.”HenoddedtowardJuddandtheactwasn’tfriendly.“Anyideas?”
“Some.Givemeaminute.”Deathwashisonlytalentafterall.“IdoknowthatthesnakeemblembelongstoMingLeBon,butthatsimplyconfirmstheCouncillink.”
Afine-bonedfemininehandslippedintohisandhefeltitineverycellofhisbody.HeglanceddowntofindBrennalookingupandgivingasmallshakeofherhead.Inthatmoment,timeseemedtostopandheknewshewastellinghimthatdeathwasnotallhewas.Healmostbelievedher.Exceptevenatthatsecond,hewasawareofthemonstrousthinginsideofhim.Onemomentofcarelessnessanditwouldcrawlouttorainindiscriminatedeathonthosearoundhim.Men.Children.Women.
Handremainingclaspedtohis,Brennaturnedaway,breakingtheoddmoment.“I’dliketohelp.”HerwordsweredirectedatSascha.
“Ithinkyou’dbeverygoodwiththeyoungones.”
Because,Juddthought,Brennaknewwhatitwasliketobehelplessandbreakable.Hehadvowedtoensureshe’dneveragainsufferasshe’dsufferedinEnrique’shands,butthescarswerealreadythereandtheyhadchangedwhoshewas.
“Judd?”Sascha’scardinaleyesturnedtohim.“I—”
“Yes,”hesaid,beforeshecouldaskthequestion.
“Iknewthat.ButIwasgoingtoaskhowmanyhoursyouthinkyoucouldgiveme.”
WhenhadSaschagonefrombeinguneasyaroundhimtobelievinghim“good”?“Asmanyasyouneed.”Hecouldn’thealtraumatizedmindsasshecould,buthecouldfeedherextrapower,atalentrareamongPsybutwhichseemedtobepairedwithhislittlespeciality.SomePsyabilitieswerelikethat—theycameinsets.
“IfBren’sgoingin,weneedtoensureprotection.There’salreadybeenoneattempttotargether,”Rileysaid.
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”Brennafrowned.
Juddlookedattheotherman.“He’sthinkingwewerewrong,thatmaybethehyenasknewyouwereatthecabin.”CHAPTER22
“Howcouldthey?”Brenna’sbrowfurrowed.
Rileyignoredher.“Juddcan’thelpSaschaandkeepaneyeonsecurity,too.”
ItwasthefirsttimeeitherofBrenna’sbrothershadevenobliquelyacknowledgedhisskillatkeepingBrennasafe.ButJudddidn’ttakeitatfacevalue.Rileywasastrategist,amanwithcoolfocus,onewhothoughtdisturbinglylikeaPsy.
“She’llbefine—I’vegotthedeerinsideourperimeter,soldierswiththemtwenty-four/seven.”Lucasshookhishead.“ButmygutsaysthePsywon’tattackthesametargettwice.”
Juddagreed.“They’reusingascattergunapproachtodivideyourresourcesandweakenyouinspecificareas,withafocusoneliminatingthosecivilianornonpredatorygroupswhomightsupportyou.ItwasatacticusedsuccessfullybytheKoreanarmyduringtheJapan-Koreawar.”
Lucasnarrowedhiseyes.“Anyideawhattheymightdonext?”
“Therehavetohavebeenmorepieces.Thedeerhitistoolargeanescalationotherwise.”
“Ifthey’vebeentakingoutlonenonpredatorychangelings,”Hawkesaid,expressiongrim,“andlayingtheblameonus,wemightnothearaboutit.Thefamiliesofthevictimswouldbetooscaredtoconfrontus.”
“Brewingresentment.”Brenna’shuskyvoice,changedforeverbythenightmare.Asifshehadscreamedsohard,somethinginhervocalcordshadbrokenirreparably.“There’sonethingIdon’tget,though,”shecontinued.“IknowI’mnotasoldier,butwe’veallheardtheCouncil’sdeadbodiesstayburied.”
“Sowhythehalf-assedjobthistime?”Lucascompleted.“Twooptions.One,Faithwasawildcardtheydidn’tfactorin.”
“Ortwo,”Juddsaid,“they’veoverstretchedthemselvesbyreachingintoterritorywherethey’retheneophytes.”
“What’syourtake?”Rileyasked,stillappearingcalminspiteofwhathadtakenplacethelasttimethey’dspoken.
EveryoneofJudd’sguardssnappedup—Rileywasthekindofhunterwho’dstalkbeforestriking.“IfIhadtoguess,I’dsaytheydidn’tforgetFaithandlikelychosetheexacttargetwithoutmuchpriorplanning.”
“Why?”Dorianasked.
“Becauseiftheyhadplanneditdowntothenameofthegrouptobeattacked,therewould’vebeenahigherchanceofaforeseerpickingitup.”
Mercyscowled.“Thisseeing-the-futurestuffmakesmyheadhurt.”
“It’smoreprobablethatinsteadofaspecifictarget,theyhadtheparametersofwhattheywerelookingfor—alarge,nonaggressivechangelinggroupinaregionnotunderdirectwatchbyeitherSnowDancerorDarkRiver.Thentheysetupsentriesandwaited.”
“Thedeerwerejustmeattothem,”Brennasaid,outragemakinghervoicetremble.“Bugstobesquashed.”
“UnfortunatelyBrennaisright.Thedeerwerechesspieces.”
Lucasshovedhisfreehandthroughhishair.“Theymesseduponthelocation—ifthey’dwaiteduntilthedeerweredeeper,DorianandMercymightnothavemadeitintime.”
Juddnodded.“Beforetherecentseriesofevents,Psyandchangelingconcernsrarelycollided.TheCouncil’sunawareofthenuancesoflifeintheforests—theimportanceofscentsandwinddirection,therangesleopardsentinelstravel,ahundredsmallthingsthatinfluenceasuccessfulraid.”
“They’renotgoingtoremainthatway,”Hawkepointedout.“Eachtimetheycomein,theylearnmore.”
Saschamadeasoundofagreement.“AndPsyareverygoodatcollatingdata.”
“Thistime,itwon’tbeenoughtosimplytrackdownandeliminatethosepersonallyresponsibleforthekills.”Juddhadseenhowthechangelingsoperated.Aneyeforaneye.Bloodforblood.Itwasalawthatworkedwiththeirsystemofhonor.However,thePsyhadnosuchhonor.“Youneedtosendabiggermessage.”
“He’sright.”LucaslookedatHawke.“They’vealreadyfiguredouthowtofakeourscents.Atleastwellenoughtofoolacasualobserver.Iftheyhitaman’sfamily—he’snotgoingtowaittomakesurehe’sgottherightscent.He’llgoforyouryounginretaliation.”
Itwasanuglybutcleardescriptionoftheconsequencesofescalation.“Youcan’taffordtogotofull-scalewarwiththeCouncil.”Juddknewwhattheleadersofhispeoplewerecapableof,thelinesthey’dcross.“Itcouldbewhattheywant—ifyoubegintheaggression,thenthey’rejustifiedinusinglethalforce.”
Forseveralminutestheonlysoundswereofthewindwhistlingthroughthetrees,andforJudd,thesteadysoundofBrenna’sbreathing.Shewassomethinghe’dneverexpectedandcertainlydidn’tdeserve.Hecouldgivehernothingofwhatsheneeded,butthedarkheartofhimwasstartingtounderstandthatlettinghergomightnotbeanoption.
Sheawakenedsomethinginhimthatwasraw,desperate,andviolentinawaythatsprangnotfromangerbutfrompassion.Sweatbeadeddownhisspineashefoughttherisingincursionsofdissonance.Itwasstrongerwitheachadmission,eachtouch.Andhedidn’tcare.Partofhimwantedtoforgetwhythedissonancehadbeenhookedsoviciouslyintohispsyche,forgetwhatwouldhappenifhesnappedthethreadsofconditioning.
“Data,”Hawkesaid,beforeJuddcouldgiveintothemadness.“ThePsylovetheircomputers.Wehacktheirsystemsanddestroythings,they’regoingtogetthemessage.”
Youmesswithourterritory,we’llmesswithyours.
JuddhadalwaysknownthatHawkewasoneofthemosthighlyintelligentpredatorshehadevermet,butthiswasinspiredevenforhim.Mostalphaswould’vesoughtsomeformofbloodyretribution—ashadHawkeinthepast—butforthisparticulargameofchess,alateralmovewasbetter,farbetter.“Ifyouhitoneofthemajordatabases,suchastheonesthatfeeddatatothestockmarket,youdisruptthingsworldwide.”
“Isn’tmostoftheinformationbackedupinthePsyNet?”Brennaasked.“IneverreallygotwhyPsylikecomputerssomuch.”
ItwasSaschawhoanswered.“Themajorfactorispower.Becausealotofclericaljobsareheldbylow-GradientPsy—peoplewhodon’thavethepsychicstrengthtoaccesssecuredatavaultsonacontinualbasis,it’sinefficienttostoreday-todaybusinessrecordsintheNet.”Whennooneinterrupted,shecontinued.“TheotherissueisthatPsyhavetododealswiththeotherraces.Humanandchangelingsbothdemanddatatheycanaccess.Ifthesystemsgodown,theCouncilors’headsmightexplode.Itreallyisabrilliantidea,Hawke.”
Thewolfflashedasmile.“Thankyou,Saschadarling.Maybeyou’rewiththewrongalpha,hmm?”
“Iswear,Hawke.”Lucasmuttered,shiftingsohewaspinningSaschatohimwithanarmaroundthefrontofherneck.“Oneofthesedays—”
ThethreatwascutoffasSaschatwistedinhisholdandkissedhim.Itwasashort,affectionateact,yetJuddfoundhimselftransfixedbyit.Butitwasn’tLucasandSaschahesaw.WhenhelookeddownattheglossystrandsofBrenna’shair,hecouldsuddenlyimaginewhatthey’dfeellikeastheybrushedoverhisskininthemostintimateofcircumstances.
Shelookedup,eyeswide.“Judd.”Alowwhispermeantforhisearsalone.
Hewatchedtheriseofcolorflushhercheeks.
“Yourtimingsucks,”shemuttered,leaningdeeperintohim.
Heabsorbedthepsychicimpactofthetouch,refusingtopushheraway.Contrarytoherwords,hethoughthistimingperfect.Itwaswhentheywerealoneandthefeverstartedtorisethathebecameawareofthemyriadwaysinwhichhecouldhurther,mutilateher.ShecalledEnriqueabutcher—shehadn’tseenthethingsJuddhaddoneasanArrow.
“DoyouhaveanyhackersIcanuse?”Lucasasked,appearingmollifiedbyhismate’skiss.“We’vegotthesetuptorunthisinthesecondsubbasementofourcityHQ.”
“Howgoodareyouathidingyourtrail?ThewholepointistonotgivethemanythingtheycanuseagainstDarkRiverorSnowDancer.”JuddforcedhisattentionawayfromBrenna,fromtheunpalatableimagesofhispast.
“They’venevercaughtusyet.”Lucaslookedpleasedasonlyacatcould.“Dorian’sverygood,butweneedmorehackersofhiscaliberifwe’regoingtocoordinateabigstrike.”
Hawkefoldedhisarms.“We’vegotthreewhocanstayundertheradarandonewhocandoevenbetter.”
BesidehimBrenna’sbodygrewtense,muscleslockingintoplace.Followinghergaze,hesawitclashwithRiley’s.Herbrotherseemedtostrugglewithsomethingforseveralsecondsbeforegivingacurtnod.“Bren’sthebestthereis.”
“Ithoughtyourdegreewasincomputronics.”Itdidn’tpleaseJuddthattherewassomethinghehadn’tknownabouther.Anemotionalreaction.Thesweatrollingdownhisspinefeltlikeicethistime.
“Myofficialdegree.”Themischiefinhereyeswasnew.“HawkesaysIhaveanunofficialoneincreativesystemsprogramming.”Shelaughed.
Thesound,theintensityofherhappiness,causedanothermentalchaintosnap.Theendsofhisnervesseemedtoburn,hisspinalcordturningintoacolumnofexcruciatingliquidfire—hewasperilouslyclosetoameltdown.
Actingbeforeitwastoolate,hewithdrewhishandfromBrenna’s…butdidn’tpushawayherbody.“I’llrunsecurityonthehackteam.”HemetHawke’seyes.“WhenBrenna’sthere,soamI.I’llworkwithSaschaaroundthat.”
“Lucas,youhaveaproblemwiththat?”
TheDarkRivermaleshookhishead.“Aslongasthere’snochanceofyougettingrecognized.”Hescowled.“YoulooksofuckingPsy,youmightaswellwearaholo-sign.”
ThathisexpressionhadfooledanalphatoldJuddnoneofhisinternalstruggleswereshowing.“I’llmakecertainmyappearanceisn’tacauseforconcern.”
“There’sonemorething.”Lucas’smarkingsdarkenedagain.“Thedeerneedtoknowthey’resafe.Wetrackandhittheassassinsfirst,adayorsobeforethecomputerstrikesotheCouncilthinksthebloodwasallwewanted.Theymightgetcomplacent.”
JuddlookedattheDarkRiveralphaandunderstoodthathe’dmadeapromisetothedeertolessentheirnightmares.Itwashowchangelingsocietyworked—thepredatorsrantheshow,butwithitcameresponsibility.UnlikethePsyCouncil,theleopardsandwolvestookthesafetyandwelfareofthoseundertheirleadershipveryseriously.Seriouslyenoughtokill.Changelingjustice,butasLucashadpointedout,itwouldserveadualpurposeinthiscase.
AndthePsyCouncilthoughtchangelingsstupid.Thatwastheirmistake.
Nighthadfallenduringthemeetinganditwaswellpastdinnerwhentheymadeitbacktotheden.HewentwithBrennainspiteoftheincreasinglevelsofdissonance—proximityinenclosedquarterswouldonlyworsenthings.Butthehungerinhim,therawpainfulthingthatthreatenedtodestroyhim,wouldn’tlethimwalkaway.
“I’llthrowsomethingtogetherinthekitchen,”shesaidastheyentered.
Heremainedinthelivingarea,abletoseehermovingbehindthekitchencounter.Thesecondsheturnedherback,hetookthechancetocheckthetraphe’dplacedonherdoor.Instinctandaneedtoprotecthadmadehimdoit.Therewassomethinghewasn’tseeing,somelinkhisconsciousmindhadn’tyetforged,buthissubconscioushad,anditwasadamantthatshewasindanger.Ormaybe,hesimplywantedhersafe.
Thetrapitselfwasn’tpsychic—hedidn’thavetheabilitytotiehispowertoanobjectinthatfashion.Instead,he’dcreateditusingbasicArrowtech.Thedevicewasembeddedinherold-fashioneddoorknob,anditreadtheprintsofanyonewhoentered.Iftheprintsdidn’tbelongtoBrenna,Andrew,Riley,Hawke,orJudd,thedevicewasprogrammedtosendoutanalerttohisphone.AndasBrennahaddiscovered,hecouldgofromplacetoplaceintheblinkofaneye.Teleportationweakenedhim,butaTkofhisparticularsubdesignationneededverylittlepowertocausecatastrophicdamage.
Hesatback,satisfiedthedevicewasfunctioning.
“Food’sready.”Brennawalkedoutandhiseyesdriftedtothethrustofherbreastsunderherthinsweater.“Warmed-upleftoversokaywithyou?”
Thehungerhewantedfedhadnothingtodowithfood.“Yes.”
Hersmilewasbright.“You’reeasytoplease.Good,becauseI’mexhausted.”
Heslammedupdesperatepsychicblocksagainstvisionsofherinbed,warm,naked,andhis.“Let’smakeitaquickmeal.”Theyweremidwaythroughitwhenhisphoneflashed.Heglancedattheincomingcodebutputitdownwithoutreadingthemessage.
“Whowasthat?”
Thehuskinessinhervoicewaslikesandpaperacrosshisstrainingflesh.“Nooneimportant.”
Curiositylituphereyes,butthensheshruggedandwentbacktoherdinner.Hescrutinizedherforseveralseconds,ashe’dneverknownBrennatojustgiveup,butsheseemedgenuinelytired.Thatmadethingseasier.Therewereaspectsofhislifeshedidn’tneedtoknowabout—theCouncilwouldn’thesitatetotortureheriftheythoughtshehadinformationtheywanted.
Herexhaustionwasprovenbythehugeyawnshegaveastheywerefinishingup.“I’msorry,butI’mbeat.Mindifwecutthisevenshorter?”
Itwasexactlytheoutheneeded.“Ofcoursenot.”
Yethestoodoutsideherdoorforlongminutes.Hewasnochangeling,buthecouldsmellthefeminineheatofherscent,almosttastethelushnessofher,hispsychicsensesmultiplyingandintensifyingtheimpactofthephysical.Hisfingerscurledattherememberedsensationofherskinagainsthis.Thecompulsiontoopenthedoor,walkbackin,andtakethefatalstepintosexualcontactwassostrong,hehadhishandraisedwhenhisphoneflashedagain.
Itwasabluntreminderofwhoandwhathewas.Hedidn’tcare.He’dcrossedtoomanylineswithBrennatogobacknow.Buthewasdangeroustoherinhiscurrentstate.Soheansweredthecall.“I’monmyway.”Onlythendidhereturntohisrooms,gatherwhatheneeded,andwalksilentandunnoticedoutoftheden.
Hisvehicle—separatefromthoseownedbytheSnowDancers—washiddennearoneoftheruttedtracksleadingoutofwolfterritory.Whenhereachedit,hefounditundisturbedandinperfectcondition.Theenginestartedwithanalmostsoundlesspurr.
Asecondlater,hethoughthesawashadowintheforest.HesenthisTpsensesinanoutwardscan,awarethathisbodyandmindwerebothfunctioningatlessthanoptimallevels.SomeonecouldhavefollowedhiminthewakeofhisdistractionwithBrenna.However,thescantouchednothingbuttheopenmindsofforestcreatures.Satisfied,hemaneuveredthevehiclethroughthethickdarknessofacloudynightandontothetrack.
Thetelepathic“knock”camewhenhe’dalmostreachedhisdestination.I’mhere.Heeasedthecarintoasingle-levelstreetparkingslotandgotout.What’simportantenoughtocallameetinginperson?
Iwantedtotalktobothofyou,andthecommchannelsaren’tsecureatpresent—I’mworkingongettingsomenewencryptionsoftwaretoblockanycovertmonitoring,theGhostresponded.TheCouncil’salreadybeguneliminatingthemostvocaloftheagitators.
Juddsmelledthebitingfreshnessofoncomingrainashecutthroughachildren’spark.Theyknewtherisk.Crossingtheroad,hewalkedaroundthechurchandintotheunlitbackyard,hometoasmallgraveyardforthosewhohadchosentolieunderthesunratherthanbeinterredinthecrypts.
FatherPerezsatonthebackstepsofthechurchandJuddlocatedtheGhost’sdarkshadowagainstafacingtree.“Whatdidyoufindout?”
“Ididn’tseeyouarrive,”theGhostsaid.“BeingoutofthePsyNethasn’thadanyappreciableimpactonyouandyourabilities.”
Wrong,butitwasanuntruththathadtacticalvalue.“Ihavetogetback.”DistancewassimplyturningupthenotchonhisneedtobewithBrenna,tokeephersafe.Therewasathreattoher.Hisbrainwasfixatedontheidea.Butwhathedidn’tknowwaswhetherthethreatcamefromtheoutside…orfromhisownkillingabilities.
TheGhosttookthehint.“Thisdatahasn’tbeenconfirmedyet,butitappearsAshayaAleinemaybeforcedtostartherworkfromscratch.”
“Why?Thelabhadtohavebackupfileshiddenaway,”Perezsaid.
“Therecentlossofseveraloftheirtopscientistsnegatesthevalueofanysuchbackups—theyaloneknewwhattheirnotesmeant.UnfortunatelyAleine’stoowellprotected.”
Perezsighed.“Iwashopingyouhadn’ttakenthatroute.”Hisvoiceheldsorrow.“Youkilltooeasily.”
TheGhostshiftedinthedarkness.“IfIhadn’tremovedthescientistsfromtheequation,allourworkwouldhavemeantnothing.Theywould’vebegunimplantingtestsubjectswithintheyear.Inadecade,wewouldhavebecomeasinglehivemind.”
“Notsingle,”Juddsaid.“Psywouldn’tallbeequalunderProtocolI.Therewillbepuppetsandpuppetmasters.”AsanArrowprogrammedtokill,Juddknewthetruthofwhathappenedwhensomeweregivenabsolutecontroloverothers.Powerwasthemostrapaciousofdrugs.
“Andsowespillmoreblood?”Perezasked.“Isthatright?”
“Ihavenorighttojudgeanyoneelse,Father.”NomatterwhattheGhosthaddone,Juddknewhe’ddoneworse.“Tellmewhatelseyouhave—quickly.”
BythetimeJuddleft,thechillwinterrainwascomingdowninasteadybeat.Heletitfallonhim,letitwashawaythedeath-soakedtasteofthislatestmeeting.ThedehumanizingcrueltythatwastheImplantProtocolwasevil,butinfightingit,Juddknewthatthey,too,couldbecomeevil.Theunderstandingcamefromsomeburiedpartofhim,apartinextricablylinkedtowhathefeltforBrenna.
Thethoughtfurtherheightenedhisurgencytoreturntoher.Speedinguphispace,hebreathedinthescentofozoneandcity.Thestreetwasdeserted,theglowofthelaz-lampsmutedbytherain.Walkingacross,hesteppedintothedarknessofthepark.Asachild,he’dneveronceplayedinaplacelikethis.Histrainingrunshadbeensupervised,hisexercisesregimented.Shapinghim.Makinghim.
Pushingasidethememories,hetraversedtheparkwithlongsteadystrides,headingforthecarhe’dleftontheotherside.HecouldrunthenewdatacrystaltheGhosthadpassedhiminthecar’ssystem,butpreferredtowaitanddoitonhispersonalorganizer,whichwasdouble-firewalledagainstinterference.
Movement!Thewarningshotthroughhisheadbeforeheconsciouslyrealizedwhathewasseeing.Hetwistedhisbodytolessenthedamageasthelargewolfslammedhimtotheground.Airsmashedoutofhislungsandhehadbarelyenoughtimetogetuphisarmbeforethewolf’sfangssnappeddown,goingthroughskinandmuscletohitbone.
Cauterizingthepain,heshovedwithenoughTkthatthewolfreleasedhim,givinghimachancetogetbackonhisfeet.Hisarmhungbyhisside,uselessuntilhecouldknitthenerveandmuscletogether.Bleedingfromthearmandfromdeepgashesinhischest,hearrowedhisabilitiesandforcedpowerintohisrightfist.Whenthewolflaunchedhimselfasecondtime,hesmashedhisfistintotheanimal’swindpipe.Itwentdownbutonlyforasecondbeforeslammingintohischestandbringinghimtothegroundonceagain.
Wolfjawsneared,theirlethalintentclear—tocrushhisneck.
Juddhadbeentryingnottokill,certainthiswasaSnowDancer—andwhichone.Hehadn’tforgottenRiley’scalculatingcalmatthemeetingtoday.Butnowhehadnochoice.Hewasbleedingtoobadly.Gatheringeverythinghehad,hepreparedtopunchintothechangeling’smind.Thewolfwouldbedeadinaboutonesecondflat.CHAPTER23
“Judd!”Thescreamwassounexpected,hefroze.Sodidthewolf.Asecondlater,itjumpedoffhisbodyandstreakedoffintothedarkness.Hecouldhavereachedoutanddestroyeditatthatdistance,butheheldback.IfthatwolfwasoneofBrenna’sbrothers…
“Judd.”Handscradledhisfaceashesatup.Tremblingfingerswipedraindropsfromhisskin.“MyGod!Yourarmisshredded!”
“Brenna,whatareyoudoinghere?”Hewasalreadysendingpowerdownhisarm,startingtoknitthebone—thecapabilitytohealhimselfwasanadjunctofhisTk-Cellabilities.
“Ican’tbelieveyou’regivingmeshitwhenyou’rebleedingtodeath!”Shegrabbedhisuninjuredarm,slungitaroundhershoulders,andpulledhimtohisfeet.Shewasslight,soevenwithherchangelingstrength,ittookconsiderableeffort.
He’dlostmorebloodthathe’drealized—histhinkingwasgoingfuzzy,causinghimtofumbleashetriedtofixthedamagedonetohim.Heshould’vekilledhisattackerinthatsplit-secondwindowbetweensoundandhit,insteadoftryingtodeflect.ButthenBrennawould’velookedathimwithhateinhereyes.Unacceptable.
“Comeon,thecar’snotfar.”Sheputanarmaroundhiswaist.“Whydidn’tyouteleportawaywhenheattacked?”
“Requiresconcentration.”He’dhadnotimetosettlehisthoughtsintotherightpatterns.“I’lldrive,”hesaidastheyreachedthecar.
Shedeactivatedthelockbyplacinghisthumbagainstit,thenslidbackthepassengerdoor.“IthoughtyouPsywerelogical.You’reinnoconditiontodrive.”
Buthewantedto.Vaguelyawarethatthatwasn’tarationaldesire,heletherhalfdrophimintothepassengerseatandclosethedoor.Onlywhenshewasinside,too,didhestartusingallavailablepowertominimizetheinjuries.Despitehiserraticconcentration,hisarmwasnearlybacktofunctional,thoughitlookedmauled.However,thebloodlosswashavingacumulativeimpact.Hecouldhardlythink,muchlessfocusonfixingtheholesinhistorso.Asaresult,thegapingcutscontinuedtobleed.
“Lara’stoofar.”Brennastartedthecar.“Hospital!There’sone—”
“No.”
Whenitlookedasifshewasgoingtoignorehim,hegrabbedherwithhisinjuredarm,shootingpainuphisbody.“Ican’tbeDNAtraced.Thekids.”
“Oh,God,Iforgot.”Shewrappedsomethingaroundhisarm.“You’relosingtoomuchbloodtowaittillwegetbacktotheden.”Itwasalreadysoakingthroughwhathenowrealizedwasthedampwoolofhercoat.“Yourchest,baby,yourchest!”
Heknewheneededhelp—thewolfhaddamagedamajorarteryorvein,hecouldn’ttellwhichatthispoint.Hewasabletokeepthewoundsfrombleedingoutbutthatwasall.“Tamsyn’sclose.Coordinates.”HemanagedtotellherthelocationoftheDarkRiverhealer’shomebeforeblacknessdescended.
Brennabroughtthecartoascreechinghaltinfrontofalargeranch-stylehomeabouttwentyminuteslater.AscowlingDarkRivermaleopenedthedoorbeforeshe’devengottenaroundtheengine.SherecognizedhimasTamsyn’smate.“Helpme!”
Herantothepassenger-sidedoor.“Shit,”hesaidwhenhesawJudd.“Move.”Pushingheraside,hegrabbedJudd’sunconsciousformandwenttoputhiminafireman’scarry.
“No!”SheslappedahandonNate’sback,baresincehewasdressedonlyinapairofoldjeans.“Hischest—”
NatelookeddownandseemedtonoticewhatJudd’stornsweaterandjackethadhidden.“Christ.”SlingingJudd’sarmaroundhisneck,hehalfdragged,halfcarriedtheothermanintothehouse.“DamnPsy’sheavierthanhelooks.”
She’dnoticedthat,too.JuddseemedtohaveahigherbonemassthanmostotherPsy.Butrightatthatmoment,allshecaredaboutwasthefactthathewasbreathing.FollowingonNate’sheels,shebarelyrememberedtoclosethedoorbehindher.
“Puthimonthetable.”Acrispfemininecommand.“Kit—goupandmakesurethecubsdon’tcomedown.”
“Sure.”Atallauburn-hairedteenagerwithsleepyeyesslippedpasther.
“Chair.”Judd’svoicekickedherheartintohyperdrive.“Nottable.”Ademand.
“He’sasstubbornastherestofyou,”Tamsynmuttered,beltingherrobe.“Puthiminthechairbeforehecollapsesandmakesamessofmyfloor.”
BrennahoveredasNateobeyedTamsyn’scommand.“Whodidhepissoffthistime?”theleopardasked,asJudddraggedhimselfuprightinthechair,eyesnotfullyfocused.
“Honey,couldyougetmethestitchgun?”Tamsynwasalreadyworkingwithhealerefficiency,cuttingofftheclothingonJudd’supperbody.
Judddidn’tmakeasoundorbetraypaininanyotherway.ButwhenhiseyesmetBrenna’s,shewassureshesawworryinthem.Forher.Why?NotwantingtobeinTamsyn’swaybutneedingtotouchhim,shewaiteduntilthehealerhaddisposedoftheclothingbeforegoingtostandathisuninjuredside,onehandonhisshoulder.Hisskinburned
Startled,shebitbackhergasp.Judd’sskinhadalwaysfeltslightlycoolerthanhers,asdidSascha’sandFaith’s.Buttonight,hewasanopenflame.“CanIdoanythingtohelp?”sheaskedwhenhedidn’tpushoffherhand.
“Here.”Thehealerhandedheradampcloth.“GentlywipeoffthebloodonhischestsoIcanseehowdeepthewoundsare.”
“Notthatdeep,”Juddmuttered,thewordsslurredbutunderstandable.
“Bequiet.”Tamsyn’stonewaspuresteel.“Youcouldbeacat—bleedingtodeathbutrefusingtoadmitit.”
Natewalkedinatthatmomentwithasmallmetalcase.“Julian’sstillasleep.Romanwoke,butKit’sgothimoccupied.”
Nodding,TamsynbegantocleantheobviousbloodoffJudd’sarmasBrennadidthesametohischest.Atleasthe’dstoppeddrippingfreshblood;itwasclottingfasterthanshewould’vebelievedpossibleevenafewminutesago.
“Changelingwolfclawsandteeth,ifI’mnotmistaken,”Tamsynsaid,lookingtoBrennaforconfirmation.
“Yes.Infullwolfform.”Shedidn’tknowifthatmadeanydifference,butitseemedtobethesortofthingahealerwouldwanttoknow.
“Thatshouldn’tbeaproblem,butI’llgivehimanantibioticshotanyway.Judd,areyouallergictoanything?”
Juddshookhisheadveryslowly.“Antibioticfine.”
“Goodthingwe’renotinfectious,”Natesaidfromhispositionleaningagainstthecounter,“oryou’dbegoingfurryprettydamnsoon.”
Brennajerkedupherhead,abouttotellhimtostopwiththecracks,whensherealizedhewastryingtodistractJuddfromwhathadtobeexcruciatingpain.Notthatyoucouldtellfromlookingathim.
She’dgrownuparoundhardmen—RileywasaSnowDancerlieutenantandwhenAndrewwasn’tbabysittingher,hecontrolledthevolatileSanDiegosectorforHawke.Herfatherhadbeenasoldier,too.Butevenherbrotherswould’vewincedatleastoncebynow,andsheknewforsurethatthey’dhaveswornabluestreakandprobablypickedafightwithNatetokeeptheirmindsofftheirmangledskin
NotJudd.Hewasasunmovingasastatue.
Cleaningawaytheblood,sheaccidentallytouchedtherawedgeofawound.Herstomachclenchedasifthehurtwereherown.“I’msorry,baby.”Justbecauseheshowednothingdidn’tmeanitdidn’thurt.SurelyevenPsywereincapableofshuttingdowntheirpainreceptors.
Hisgazenevermovedoffher.Thecontactwasintenseinspiteofthecreepingfoginhiseyes,butsheheldit,unableandunwillingtoleavehimtosufferinthecoldlonelinessofPsySilence.
“I’mgoingtostartstitchingyouup,”Tamsynsaid,breakingtheheart-poundingconnection.“Herecomestheantiseptic.”
BrennahadherhandonJudd’schestasshewipedawayafinalredstreakandevensoclose,shedidn’tfeelhimflinch.Thatwasbeyondcontrol—itwasterrifying.WhathadJuddbeenthroughtogainsuchmercilesscommandoverhisphysicalresponses?
ShesawTamsynpulloutthestitchgun.“Wait!Aren’tyougoingtoanesthetizehim?”Thosesnappingstitcheshurt
“Psyhaveoddreactionstodrugs,anestheticsincluded.SaschaandFaithputthemselvesunder.”ThehealermetJudd’seyes.“Canyoudothatforme?”
Hegaveasmallnod.“Yes.”Closinghiseyes,hewentabsolutelystill.Brennacouldn’tevenhearhimbreathe.
HandingNatethebloodytowel,BrennagrippedJudd’shandandwatchedTamsynbeginrepairingmuscledamagewithatinyinternal-usestitchgun.“You’reverygood.”
“Ihaveamedicaldegree.FiguredImightaswellbackupthehealinggiftswithgoodsolidknowledgeandequipmentsoIdon’tspendmyhealingenergyunnecessarily.”Therewasadarknesstotheotherwoman’stone,asifshewererememberingatimewhenhergiftshadn’tbeenenoughtosavealife.“Andyouknowhowitis—wecanassisteachotherwithideasandstrategies,butchangelinghealers’giftsonlyreallyworkwellwithinourownanimalspecies.Ican’tevengetthegifttorecognizeJudd.”
Brennanodded.“Whatdidyoumeanaboutthedrugs?”
“Hmmm.”ShehandedaslendermetallictorchovertoBrenna.“ShinethatheresoIcanseewhatI’mdoing.”
KeepingonehandonJudd’s,shedidasasked.Thebeamdelineatedeverytear,everyshreddedpieceofflesh.Worryclawedthroughherveins,butshemadesureherhanddidn’tshake.
“It’sgotsomethingtodowiththeirabilitiesandhowenergyisprocessed,”Tamsynsaid,pickingupthethreadoftheconversation.“That’swhyJaxmessesthemupsobad.”
Nate’sexplanationwasblunter.“Drugsfuckwiththeirpowers.Sascharefusestotouchevenbeerorwine.”
ItputawholenewspinonwhatJuddhadtoldheraboutJax.“Ididn’tknowthat.”
“MakesyouwonderwhytheytakeJaxinthefirstplace,”Natesaid.“Doesn’tgowiththeirneedforcontrol.”
“Maybetheywanttoforgetwhatthey’vebecome.”Tamsyn’stonewassad.“Jaxdegradesmemory,too.”
Nategrunted.“Whateverthereason,it’sstilltheweakoneswhotakeit.”
Sheunderstood.Nomatterwhattherace—changeling,human,orPsy—itwastheweak,broken,ordamagedmemberswhosuccumbed.Brenna’slipstightened.Painwasnoexcuseforbecominganaddict—shehadn’ttakentheeasywayoutandoh,howshe’dwantedto.Buttheworstwerethedealers,thescumwhopreyedonthevulnerable.
“So,”Nateasked,“youknowwhodidthis?”
Herstomachcurdled.“Canwetalkaboutthatafterward?IthinkJuddshouldbeawakeforit.”
“Fairenough.IhavetoletLucasandHawkeknowyou’rehere.”
“Canyouholdoffforafewhours?”ItwouldgiveJuddtimetorecoveratleastalittleandsheneededhimatherback.Ifwhatshebelievedwastrue,thenshecouldn’tdothisalone.
Theleopardmalestudiedherforseveralseconds.“Givemeagoodreason.”
Squeezinghereyesshut,shetookadeepbreath.Theiron-richscentofbloodwasoverpoweringtohersenses.Hereyessnappedopen.“BecauseIscentedmyfamilyonJuddbeforetherainwashedthemarkersaway.”
“Shit.”
Juddreturnedtoconsciousnesstwohoursafterthey’darrived,hiseyeslookingatouchfeverishbutotherwiseclear.Tooclear,giventheextentofhisinjuries.
“What,yougaveyourselfapsychicbloodtransfusion?”Tamsynaskedinatarttoneatoddswiththeconcernonherface.
Juddflexedthehandofhisbandagedarm,thethinwhitegauzeappearingdeceptivelyweak.“IneedsomefoodtoreplacetheenergyIlost.”Notananswer.
Tamsynscowled,butBrennafeltonlywarmthfromher.LikeLaraandSascha,theDarkRiverhealerwasinherentlygentle.“Whydoeseveryonethinktheycangetfedinmykitchen?”
Natehuggedhismatefrombehind,kissingthecurveofherneckinopenaffection.“BecauseevenPsyknowyou’reasofttouch.”
Theotherwoman’sscowldisappearedandsheturnedtostealaproperkissfromhermate.“WhydoIputupwithyou?”
NatemurmuredsomethingsolowthatBrennacouldn’thear.Lookingawayfromtheireasyintimacy,anintimacywhichheldhintsofthedeepestsensualityandlove,shefoundJuddwatchingthepair.HeglancedatheronlyafterTamsynbrokefromNatetowalktowardthecooler.Darkchocolateeyesmethers.“That’swhatyoushouldhave.”
Hiscandorshookher…becauseitmeanthe’dacceptedthisthingbetweenthem,thisbeautiful,powerfulthing.“Yeah?Well,maybeIwantyouinstead.”Shedidn’tcarethattheirrelationshipdidn’tfitintoanyestablishedbox,didn’tcarethatherwolfdidn’trecognizehimashermate.“Justyou.”
“Imadelasagnafordinner,”Tamsyncalledout.“Thatworkforyou?”
Hecontinuedtolookather,asifhe’ddrinkherupwithhiseyes.“Anythingisfine.”
“MaybeIshouldn’twastemylasagnaonyou,then.”Tamsyngrabbedacontainerfromthecoolingunit.“Howaboutsomecardboardinstead?”
BrennafoundherselfamusedinspiteofthebloodthatcontinuedtoscenttheairandthetautexpectationthatstretchedbetweenherandJudd.Lipstwitching,shewaitedforhisresponse.
“Cardboardhasnonutritionalvalue.”Utterlytoneless.“Lasagnawouldbeabetterchoice.”
Tamsynthrewupherhands.“I’dforgottenhowbadyoulotcouldbe.Thenagain,Saschawasneverasbadasyou.”
Somethingcrashedupstairs.
Tamsyndidn’tseemtonotice,butthensaid,“Honey,couldyougoupandseeifKit’ssurvivingourlittledarlings?Soundslikethey’rebothup.”
“He’sfine.”Natedidn’tbudge.
“Iwon’tattackyourmate,”Juddsaidtotheleopard.“Ihavenoreasonto.”
Nate’sresponsewasagrunt.Brennascowled.Itwastruethatpredatorymalestendedtobeextraordinarilyprotectivewheretheirmateswereconcerned,butsurelyJuddhadearnedthecats’respectbynow.
Furruffled,shewasabouttovoiceherfeelingswhenJuddglancedatherandgaveaslightshakeofhishead.“Itishishome.”Hisvoicewaspitchedtoreachherearsalone.“HehasamateandchildrentoprotectandIamanintruder.”
“YouhelpedgetSaschaandFaithoutoftheNet.You’vebeentheirfriend,”shehissed,ragingattheunfairnessofit.
“No.”Juddpulledhishandfromhers.“I’vealwaysactedinmyownbestinterest.”
“That’snotwhoyouare.”Sherefusedtolethimtrytoconvinceherotherwise.
Hiseyesfixedonhers,thegoldflecksdarkeningtoamber.“Anassassinwholooksafterhisownskin?That’sexactlywhatIam,Brenna.Iwouldratherdiethanharmyou,butanyoneelse?Icouldkillthemwithoutblinking.It’swhatIwasborntodo.”
BrennaknewsheshouldbehappythatJuddhadadmittedasmuchashehadabouthisfeelingstowardher,butshewasstillfumingoverhisintransigenceoneverythingelsewhenshewalkedintothelivingroomataroundseventhenextmorning.Hewasattemptingtobuttonavividblueshirtoverhisbandagedchest.Eveninjured,hewassobeautifullybuiltthathermouthwentdryandherfaceflushed.Thehungerwaspiercing,seducingherintomovingforward.
“Letme.”Hisarmhadtobepainful.Andshecouldn’tbegintothinkaboutthewoundsonhischest.Iftheyhadgonealittledeeper…
“Brenna.”Hedidn’thalther,buthistoneheldadominantundertonesherecognizedalltoowell,havinggrownupwithmenwhosufferedfromthesamechauvinisticstreak.
“I’veneverseenyouinanycolorbutblack.Bluelooksgoodonyou.”Shebuttonedtheshirtoverhisbandageswithtendercare.Thegarmentwasafractionloose,Judd’sbuildmorelightlymuscularthanNate’s.HerPsywasbuiltforstealthandspeed,hisbodyawell-honedweapon…onesheachedtostroke.Theideaofrunningherhandsoverthesmooth,powerfullinesofhisbodymadeherfingerstremble.
Onemalehandclosedoverherwrist.“Wehavetodiscussthisbeforeyourbrothersarrive.”
Tearsinherthroat.“We’vegottimetohaveacupofcoffee.”
“No,wedon’t.Natemadethecallslongenoughagothattheyhavetobeclose.”
SheknewtheDarkRivermalehaddelayedaslongashecould,butwishedithadbeenforever.“Justonecup,”shecajoled.
Tuggingatherhand,heforcedhertolookup.“Whyareyouavoidingthesubject?”Thegoldflecksinhiseyesweresparkingbright—itwasn’therimagination,theyreallywere.Beforeshecouldaskhimwhatthatmeant,therewasacommotionoutfrontandherbrothersstormedintothelivingroomfollowedbyNateandLucas.CHAPTER24
Riley’sfacewenthunting-stillashesawJudd’shandaroundherwrist.“IsweartoGod,ifyoudon’tstoptouchingher,I’ll—”
“You’llwhat?”Brennademanded,pullingawayherhandbutonlysoshecouldfaceRiley.“Finishoffthejobyoustartedlastnight?”
“Whatthefuckareyoutalkingabout?”Andrewreachedoutasiftograbheranddraghertohisside.
Juddwassuddenlyinfrontofher,havingmovedsofastshewasleftgasping.“Ican’tletyoutouchherinyourcurrentmood.”
LookingaroundJudd,BrennasawDrew’sfingerscurlintoafist.“She’smysister.It’soneofyoubastardsthathurther.”
“Bethatasitmay,I’mnotlettingyounearheruntilyougetyourselfundercontrol.”Judd’svoicewascold,implacable,dangerous.
Growlssounded.
“Shutup!”Brennayelled.“Allofyou!”
Herbrotherslookedather,startled.Thecatsstayedontheedgesoftheroom,probablynotlookingtointerfereunlessbloodthreatenedtobespilled.
Juddglancedoverhisshoulder.“Don’t.”Puremalecommand.
“Don’tyougiveherorders,Psy!”Drewagain.
She’dhadit.PushingpastJuddtostandinfrontofhermiddlesibling,shethumpedafistintohischest.“Doyouknowwhathe’swarningmenottodo?AccuseyouorRileyofattackinghim.”
Herbrotherfroze.“What?”
“Juddcameinwolf-mauled,”Natedrawled.“Hischest’samessandbelieveme,youdon’twanttoseehisarm.”
“Youthinkwedidthat?”ThehurtonRiley’sfacewassorawitrockedher.
Butshewasn’tbackingoff.“You’vethreatenedhimoverandover.AndIsmelledthescentoffamily.”
Juddputahandonhershoulder.“Enough,Brenna.”
Thistime,shelistened,unabletolookatthepainonherbrothers’faces.Turning,sheburiedherheadagainstJudd’schest,forgettingabouthisinjuriesuntilthescentoftornfleshhither.“I’mso—”
“Shh.”Juddputhisuninjuredarmaroundher.Thegesturehadcomeaboutwithoutconsciousthoughtandnowhefoundhecouldn’tletgo,dissonanceornot.
Meetingherbrothers’gazes,hebegantospeak.“IinitiallyhadthesamesuspicionsasBrenna,butIwaswrong.”He’dfiguredthatoutsometimeintheearlyhours—itwaswhathe’dwantedtodiscusswithher.“Ifyoutwoweregoingtochallengeme,you’ddoitinbroaddaylight,notsetupasneakambush.”
Brennawentveryquietagainsthim,onehandcurledupgentlyagainsthischest.
Pain,suchsweetpaintohavehersoclose.Wouldshestayonceshediscoveredthewholetruthabouthim?Thedarkheartofhimaskedaharsherquestion—wouldhelethergo?“Brennaknowsthat,too,”hesaid,focusingonthehereandnow.“She’sconfusedonlybecauseshesmelledyourscentatthescene.Itshockedher.Whichisprobablywhatwasintended.”
Andrewshovedahandthroughhishair.“Damnit,Bren.Ididn’ttouchhim.Ican’tbelieveyoususpectedmeforasecond.”
BrennaturnedherheadbutremainedtuckedunderJudd’sarm.“Youhaven’tbeenactinglikeyourselveslately,eitherofyou.”
Rileyswore,lowandhard.“WealmostlostyoutoaPsymurderer!Ithinkthefactthatwedon’twantyoutoshackupwithoneofthatpsychopathicraceisunderstandable.”
“Careful.”AsoftbutlethalorderfromLucas.
“Saschaisdifferent,”Rileysaidwithoutturning.“He’snot.”
“Ineverthoughtyouwereabigot.”Brenna’swordsfellintoapoolofheavysilence.
Juddfoundhimselfholdinghertighter.Hedidn’tneedorwantanyonetofightforhim.ThatBrennadid,causedsensationsinsideofhimhecouldn’taffordtoembrace—especiallygivenhisinjuriesandtheenergyittooktofightthedissonance.Buthehadstoppeddoingwhatheshouldalongtimeago.
Andrewmethiseyes.“Ididn’tattackyou.You’dbedeadifI’dcomeafteryou.”
Juddhadhadenough.“ThesolereasonI’minjuredisbecauseIwastryingnottokillmyattacker.IfIhadn’theldback,he’dhavebeendeadbeforehetouchedme.”Heletthemseetheclawshe’dkepthiddeninanefforttoassisthisfamily’sintegrationintoSnowDancer.
Butsomewolves,herealized,wouldrespectonlyunadornedstrength.SolongasAndrewandRileythoughthimeasyprey,they’dneverallowhimneartheirsister.Heunderstoodwhy—Brenna’smanhadtobeabletoprotecther.IthadnothingtodowithBrenna’sownabilitiesandeverythingtodowiththeirneedtokeephersafe.
“Psycan’tgetintoourminds,”Andrewspitout.
JuddlookedattheSnowDancer.“It’struethatwecan’tmanipulateyouwithoutmajoreffort,butablastofpurepoweratcloserangewoulddestroyallofyourhigherbrainfunctions,ifitdidn’tturnyourbrainstoliquidoutright.”Heknewthatfromthedarkestofpersonalexperiences,oneofthemanynightmareimagesthathauntedhissleep.
Ofcourse,aTk-Cellhadother,quickerwaysofkilling.Buthehadn’tknownthatasachildandthechangelingsdidn’tneedtoknowitnowtograsphispoint.“Soifyoueverdocomeafterme,IsuggestyoufollowyourownrulesofPsy/changelingcombatandshootmeintheback.”Asplitsecond’swarningwasallheneededtokill.
“Hell,”Andrewsaid,hisvoiceholdinganewnoteofawareness.“Weallgettaughtthatduringtraining,butwhenyoujustfoughtphysicallywiththemenwhochallengedyouinsteadofdoingsomethingpsychic,IfigureditwasPsypropaganda.”Heshrugged.“DoesHawkeunderstandwhatyoucando?”
“What?”Brennademanded.“You’regoingtoaskhimtokickJuddoutnow?”
“That’snotwhatImeant,”herbrothergrowled.“Stopbeingabrat.”
“Don’ttalktoherthatway.”Juddhadmadehischoice,foundhisloyalty.
Rileyfoldedhisarms.“There’sonethingIdon’tget.”Hiscalmtonewassoatoddswiththetension-heavyairthateveryonewentquiet.Thelieutenantraisedaneyebrow.“Butbeforewegettothat,Bren,sweetie—youdorealizeJuddandDrewareexactlyalike?”
Andrewstaredathisbrother.“Whatthefuckareyoutalkingabout?”
Juddwasthinkingthesamething.ButBrennalaughed.Breakinghishold,sherantohugRiley.“I’msorry.Iknowyoudidn’thaveanythingtodowiththeattack.”
“Whataboutme?”Andrewstrokedahandoverherhair.
Brennaraisedherhead.“I’mundecidedwhereyou’reconcerned.”
“You’regettingmeaninyouroldage.”Buthehuggedherwhensheturnedtohim.
Watchingthem,Juddfeltaheavy,dullpainintheregionofhischest.Thewounds,heconcluded,thatwasall.ThenBrennapulledawayfromDrewtoreturntoJudd’ssideandthepainintensified.“Whatdon’tyouget?”heaskedRiley.
“HowBrenmistookourscent.”
Juddnodded.“Iagree.Ithastobesomeoneyoutrustenoughtoallowaccesstoyourbelongings.”
“Wherehecould’vepickedupthingsthatcarryenoughofourscenttouseasamask.”Andrew’sclawsslicedout.“Thebastardhastobeasoldier.Wesweatbucketsduringtraining.”
LucascametostandbesideRiley.“Saytheattackerhadsucceededinkillingyou,”hesaidtoJudd,“whatwouldthathavedone?”
“Causedasmallamountofconfusion.”Juddhadnoillusionsabouthisimportancetothepack.“Nolargeimpactoverall.We’retheenemy—allowedthereonsufferance.”
Lucaslookedthoughtful,hissavagelymarkedfacesetinlinesofconcentration.“Whatifhe’dtargetedoneoftheLaurenchildren?”
Juddfelttheblackedgeofhispowergatheringandhadtoforceitback.“He’dbedeadbynow.”Itwasn’tathreat,justfact.
“Damnstraight.”Andrew’svoicewaspurewolf.“Pupsarepups,period.Yougoafterone,youpinabigfattargetonyourself.Itwould’vesetallthehuntersonhistrail.”
“So,”Rileypickedup,“itlookslikethisprobablywasn’taboutcausingtroubleinthepackorattackingtheLaurensasafamily.ItwasaboutJudd.”
“Thatleavesawidepool,”Juddpointedout.
“Hellyeah,sinceyouseemtogooutofyourwaytopissoffeveryoneyoumeet.”Andrewwasscowling.“Butthehotheadswould’vegoneforyouupfront.Sneakattack’snotwhat’sgoingtogetthempointsintheden.”
Juddagreed.“Andtherewouldbenoreasonfortheplantedscentif—”SomethingclickedinhisPsybrain,thejigsawpiecesfallingtogetherinthelinesofaperfecttrap.“HewantedtoisolateBrenna.Removeme,cutherofffromyou,andshebecomesvulnerable.”
Andrew’scolorfaded.“Easiertotakeout.”
JuddwrappedhisarmaroundBrenna’sshouldersagain.Sheacquiescedwithouthesitation.Itwasanindicationofdeep-rootedtrust.Butthedarknessinhimnolongerfoundthatsurprising,acceptingitashisright.Anirrevocablelinehadbeencrossedbetweenyesterdayandtoday.Brennawashis
Sheblewoutabreath,makingherbangsdance.“Seriously,canyouguysthinkpasttheoverprotectiveness?”Averyunfemininesnort.“Whywouldanyonehaveitinforme?”
Juddknewtheanswer,butitwasn’tforpublicconsumption.
“Withtherain,”Rileysaidwhennobodyelsespoke,“there’snowaytotrackhim.”
Brennamadeasmallmovement.“Icanthinkofone.”
Allfivemaleslookedather.
“Okay,let’spretendIbuyintoyour‘Brennaisthecenteroftheuniverse’conspiracytheory”—sherolledhereyes—“there’sonewaytofindoutforsure.”SheshiftedinJudd’sembraceuntilhisarmwasaroundthefrontofherneck,whileherbackfacedhim,thoughshewasverycarefulnottopressagainsthisinjuries.“Actasthoughitworked—atleastenoughtoseparatemefromyoutwo.”
Distractedbythesoftcurvesofherbody,healmostmissedtheimportofherwords.Hisbloodheated,hisheartbeatraced…andawaveofexcruciatingpaincrawledoverhismindinamalignantflood.Hecouldhandlethephysicaleffectsbutcouldn’tcontrolhisPsybrain’sneedtoshutdownsectionstosaveitself.Thecountdownhadbegun.
“Leaveme,”Brennacontinued,“andgobacktothedenfurious.JuddandIcancampoutatthecabin—it’sstilllivable.”
“No.”Andrewfoldedhisarms.
“Nomorecages,Drew,”shesaidquietly.“Iloveyou,butnomore.UntilEnriquetookme,you’dneverhavedreamedoftryingtolockmeup.”
Shovingbackthetideofdissonance,Juddlookedup.“I’mmorethancapableofkeepingheroutofharm’sway.”Noneofthecriticalcomponentsofhismindhadyetbeencompromised.
Brennaglancedoverhershoulderandherexpressionwasn’thappy.“Icankeepmyselfsafe.Justbecauseabastardgothishandsonmeoncedoesn’tmeanI’mhelpless.”
“Thepointismoot,”Rileysaid.“Everyoneknowswe’dneverleaveBrenaloneinthecabinwithyou,evenifthatmeantwehadtodragherbackscreamingbloodymurder.”
Juddnodded.“Wecanrunthesameopfromtheden.It’llmeanyouthreewillhavetoactasifyou’vefallenout.”
“I’malreadyaloneinthefamilyquarters,”Brennamurmured,evidentlyseeingthetruthinRiley’sassertion“Fine.ButIswear”—shescowledatAndrew—“youtrytopokeyournoseintomylifeonemoretimeandIwon’tberesponsibleformyactions.”
Herbrothergrinned.“Iknewyoulovedme.”
Tamsynwasn’thappyaboutJuddtakingoff,buthewantedtoreturntohisterritory,landheknewwithArrowthoroughnessaftermonthsofisolatedexploring.Brennawasn’tconvincedeither,butshemutteredsomethingaboutstubborn,pigheadedmalesandpushedhimintothepassengerseatwhenhemadeamovetodrive.AndrewandRileyhadleftseveralminutesearliertolendweighttotheideathattheyhadhadadisagreementwiththeirsister.
“I’llseeyoutomorrowatyourHQ?”BrennacalledouttoTamsynfrombesidethecar.
“Iwon’tbethere.”Tamsynmadeaface.“Computerspeakmightaswellbegibberishtome.”
“I’llbedroppingin,”Nateaddedfromthedoorway,hiseyesneverleavingJudd.“Seeyouthere.”
Juddgaveasmallnod,wonderingifthecatswouldeveraccepthispresenceasanythingotherthanathreat.Likelynot.Thatshowedtheirintelligence—becausehewasathreat,abigone.
They’dbeguntobackdownthelongdrivewhenhesawtwolittleboysrunoutfrombehindNateandTamsyn.TheDarkRivermalepickedupthechildrenandsaidsomethingthatmadebothhismateandtheboyslaugh.Juddlookedaway.Thatwasn’thislifeanditneverwouldbe.Yetevenknowingthat,Brennahadmadeherchoiceveryclear.
Andifshedecidedlaterthatshewantedout?
Thedarkness,thebadnessinhim,bareditsteeth.Tonight—maybetonight—hecouldsetherfree.Afterthat,she’dhavetokillhimtogetaway.
“Judd?HaveyouheardawordI’vesaid?”
Forcinghismindbackintorationalpatterns,heturnedtoher.“There’snodoubtofitbeingawolfnow.”
“What?”sheasked,asshepulledoutofthedrivewayandsetthecaronautomatichover-navigation,possiblebecausetheroadsinthisareawereembeddedwithguidancechips.Handsfreed,sheslidthesteeringwheelawayintoitscompartmentandfacedhim.“Whoareyoutalkingabout?”
“Timothy’smurderer.”
“What’sthatgottodowiththeattackonyou?”Sheshookherhead.“Anyway,bothyouandIndigocouldbewrong.ThePsycouldhavegotinsomehow.”
Heknewsheneededaplaceofsafety,neededtotrustimplicitlyinherpeople.Butshecouldn’t,notifshewastobeonherguard.“You’rereaching,Brenna.Thebodywasfoundintheden,inanout-of-the-waylocationnoPsycouldknowabout.”
“Youguyscanteleportoverlongdistances,”sheinsisted.
“Yes,butwehavetohaveasolidmentalimageofourdestination.”Hetappedafingerontheedgeofhisseat,agesturethathecaughtalmostassoonasithappened,butwhichheshouldn’thavemadeinthefirstplace.Psydidnotfidget.“Evenifoneofmyracehadobtainedthatdata,teleportationtendstoleaveusdrained—theenergyusedisdirectlyrelatedtodistancetraveled.NoevidenceofaPsypresencewasfoundwithinmilesoftheden.”
“And”—asoftacceptance—“whatwasdonetoTimhadtoinvolvealotofpowerandstrength.Hedidn’tliedownandtakeit—therewerebruises.”
“I’dsuggestitwasaveryphysicalstruggle.MostPsywouldhaveusedmentalmeansagainstastrongerchangelingopponent.”Hemadehimselfsaythenextwords,thoughheknewitwouldonlyforgeanotherpointofsimilaritybetweenhimandEnrique.“Ofcourse,usingTktothrowsomeoneagainstawallwouldalsocausebruises.”
Brenna’shandliftedtoherneckandthendroppedaway,hereyeslosingfocus.“Hedidn’tdothatbyTk,”shewhispered.“Heusedhishandstostranglemewhilehekeptmeimmobilewithhispowers.”
Anotherpieceofthenightmare.“Brenna.”Itwasasinglewordwrenchedoutofthemostprimitivepartofhim.ThepartthatwantedtobatheinthedeadCouncilor’sblood,unconcernedaboutthecostofsuchanextremeemotionalreaction.
Brenna’seyeswidened.Raisingahand,shebrushedhishairgentlyoffhisforehead.“WhydoIkeeptellingyouthingsIsworeI’dtaketomygrave?”
Thecontactshotelectricitythroughhisnerves.“BecauseyouknowI’llalwaysbeyourshieldagainstthenightmares.”
Herfacebrightened.“Yes.You’retoughenoughtohandlemydemons.”Shetookashudderingbreathandtrailedherfingersdownhischeekandalonghisjaw,buthefeltthetouchinfarhungrierplaces.“SowhyarewetalkingaboutTiminsteadofyourattacker?”
Leashinghisneedwasbecomingharderandharder.“Ithink,”hesaidevenashisbodyurgedhimtodosomethingotherthantalk,“Tim’sdeathiswhysomeoneistryingtoisolateyou—statistically,it’sthestrongestreasonforwhyyouwouldbecomethetargetofanotherwolf.AndI’mcertainyouwerethetarget.”
Herstrokingfingerswentmotionless.“Whatpossiblereasoncould—Thedreams.”Itwasagasp.“ButhowcouldheknowI’dseenthekillinadream?”CHAPTER25
“It’snotasecretthatyousawsomething.Youscreamed,‘Isawthis!’whenthebodywasfound.”
“Oh,myGod.”Sheslumpedbackinherseat.“ThekillerthinksI’mawitnessandthatI’llfigureoutwhoheis.”
“Whichmeanswehavetotrackhimdownbeforehemakesanotherattempt.”JuddhadpromisedBrennasafetyandhewouldensureit.Failurewasnotanoption.
Brenna’sexpressionshifted.“Whatwillyoudotohim?”
“Thesamethinganyothermanwoulddo.”Hedaredhertostophim.
“Idon’twantyoutogofurtherintothedarknessbecauseofme.”
“There’sadifferencebetweenactingtoprotectsomeoneand—”Hecuthimselfoff,suddenlyrealizingwherehewasheaded.
“Andwhat,Judd?”
Heshookhishead.“It’snotrelevanttothepresentsituation.”
“You’relying.”Aflat,angryaccusation.“Ican’tbelieveyou’dsitthereandlietomyfaceafter—”Jawclenched,sheturnedawayandpulledupthesteeringwheel,goingmanualagain.“Fine.Youkeepyoursecrets.”
Itwasalmostacompulsiontopushher,todemandshereturnherattentiontohim.Andthatwaswhyhefoughtit.Becauseshedidn’tunderstandwhatshewasaskingfor,whatitwouldcosther.Thatthoughtstayedhishandasnothingelse.Buttherewasonethinghedidneedtoknowtheanswerto.Hewaiteduntiltheywerealmosttothedenbeforebringingitup.“HowdidyouknowwhereIwaslastnight?”
Shethrewhimaglancinglook.Itwasobviousshewasstillfurious.“DrivingthatPsybraincrazy,isn’tit?”Hersmugnesscouldn’thavebeenclearer.
“Therewasnotrackeronthevehicle.”
“Notwhenyouchecked.”Shemaneuveredthecarovertheroughterrainwithangryfemaleconfidence,havingdisengagedthehover-driveandshiftedtotires.“Ifollowedyououtofthedenandslappedatrackerunderthechassisafteryougotin.”
Herememberedthatshadowhe’dseen.“Ididatelepathicscan.”
Sheshrugged.“Don’tknowhowthatworks,butIdidn’tmoveoutfromunderuntilyou’ddrivenoff.Thatremindsme—we’llhavetosendsomeonetopickupmycar.”
Juddknewwhythescanhadn’tlocatedher.He’dmadeanelementarymistakeandscannedtheperimeteralone,ratherthanpushingoutwardinever-increasingcircles.Toaddinsulttoinjury,he’dbeensodistractedlastnightthathe’dallowednotone,buttwopursuits.Thewolfhadtohavefollowedhimtothechurch,thenlaininwaitforhisreturn.
Eitherhewasgettingcarelessorthemoresubtleeffectsofthedissonance—andofthebattlebetweenSilenceandemotioninhisbrain—werealreadybeginningtoshow.Butthatwasn’twhatconcernedhimthemost.“Icould’vecrushedyouwiththecar.”
“Notreally.”Shesoundedunworried.“Youcouldonlydriveitinonedirection.”
“Brenna.”
“You’rejustpissedbecauseImanagedtotrailyououtoftheden.”Shegavehimapiercinglook.“Iknewsomethingwasupassoonasyougotthatcallduringdinner.”
“How?”Hedidn’ttellhertochangedirectionwhensheheadedfortheundergroundgarage.Thisvehiclehadbeenseenbytoomanypeopleinrelationtohim.He’dhavetogetanewoneforhiscovertactivities.
Shebroughttheall-wheeldrivetoahaltinsidethegarage.“NotfromyourIceManexpression.SomehowI…”Bitingherlowerlip,sheshrugged.“Ican’texplainit.Ijustknew.”Openingthecardoor,shecamearoundasiftoopenhis,buthe’dalreadygottenout.Shebegantowalkacrosstheotherwiseemptygaragewithhimatherback.“Ifyouripopenthosestitches,don’tcomecryingtomeforsympathy.”
“Noted.”Hiseyeskeptgoingtotheswayofherhips,hiscontrolshottohell.“Youshouldn’thavefollowedme.”
“Whynot?”Shethrewhimanuncomplimentarylookoverhershoulder.“It’snotlikeyou’reMr.Communication.”
“Therearesomethingsyoudon’tneedtoknow.”
“Likewhatinthehellyouweredoinginadesertedparkinthemiddleofthenight?”Shespunaroundtofacehim,armsfolded.“Youkeeptellingmeyou’reanassassinandthenyousneakout.Prettyeasyequation,don’tyouthink?”
Herefusedtolistentothevoicethatwantedtocorrecther.“Yes.”
“Bull.Shit.”Withthatveryprecisestatement,shespunonherheelandtowardtherampleadinguptothemaindenarea.“Ifyou’dbeeninakillingframeofmind,”shethrewbackassheopenedthedoor,“you’dhaveexecutedthatwolfonsight.”
Hestoodinthegarageforseveralminutesaftershe’dgone,tryingtothinkofananswerthatwouldsatisfyher.Hecouldn’t,wouldn’t,drawherintothegrayworldoftherebellionhehadtofight.StoppingProtocolIwashisattemptatfindingredemption,ifsuchathingevenexistedforamanlikehim,butshehadnoneedtopayforhiscrimes.Hewashershield.Againsttheevil…andagainsthisownnightmares.
Finallyready,hewalkedupandmadehiswaytoherrooms.She’dleftthedooropenandhecloseditbehindhimself.“Brenna.”
Shelookedupfrommakingcoffee.“Don’tlietome,Judd.Keepyoursecrets,butdon’tlietome.”Quietwordsbutsopassionatetheyfeltlikeblows.
Sohegavehernofalseanswers.“I’dlikesomecoffee,too.”
Sheheldhisgazeforalongtime,asifwaitingforhimtosaysomethingelse.Whenhedidn’t,herspinewentstiffandsheturnedherbacktohim.Hehadtheviolenturgetoforcehertofacehim,butfoughtit.Finally—andjustintime—shewaskeepingherdistance.Anylongerandheknewhewouldn’thaveallowedherherfreedom…evenifshe’dpleadedwithhimtolethergo.
Evenifshe’dscreamed.CHAPTER26
Thebitchhadruinedhisplansagain.He’dbeenabouttotearouttheassassin’sthroatwhenshe’dcomeracingout.He’dconsideredchancingit,butthefuckingPsyhaddamagedsomethinginhisjawwiththatsinglepunch—hehadn’tbeencertainhecouldmaintainthekillinghold.AndifBrennahadseenhim,she’dhaveknownhim.Nowhehadtolielowuntilthejawhealed.Atleastthatwouldn’ttakelong
Ithadn’tbeenatotalloss,heconsoledhimself.AndrewandRileywerepissed.Andhe’dheardBrennaandthePsyfighting.Itwasobviousthattheshinewaswearingoffwhateverweirdrelationshiptheyhad.ForgetabouttryingtoisolateBrenna,allhehadtodowaswaituntilJuddLaurenleftandshewasaloneinthatbigapartment.
Shewouldn’tputupmuchofafight—SantanoEnriquehadfuckedherovergood.Hedecidedhewouldn’tkillherwithanoverdoseafterall.Hisfingerscurled,imaginingtheslenderwidthofherneckunderhispalms.Hewantedtowatchthelifedrainoutofthosewitchyeyesofhers.Maybe,intheinstantbeforeshedied,she’drememberthelasttimehe’dhadhishandsaroundherthroat.CHAPTER27
Afteradayfullofsilencesandstiltedconversation,BrennacametostandbesidehimwherehesatgoingoverthefilesthathadbeeninthedatacrystaltheGhosthadgivenhim.Hiddeninhisbackpantspocket,ithadsomehowsurvivedtheambushundamaged.
“Whyareyoustillhere?”sheasked.“It’snineatnight.”
Heclosedthefileandputdownhisorganizer.“Withyourbrothersbeingforcedtokeeptheirdistance,yoursafetyisinmyhands.”
Hewatchedherfaceinthelightthrownbytheglowofthelampsshe’ddimmed.Deceptivelydelicate-lookingbonescoveredbycreamyskin.Hairthatshonegoldandlashesthatwereashadelighter,solongtheyappearedunreal.
Shecaughthimstaring.“Kissme.”
Hisundamagedhandfisted.“Itoldyou—youcan’tgetwhatyouneedfromme.”
“Liar.”Sheleanedagainstthewallinfrontofhim,smallandcurvyanddetermined.“Youwantmesomuchyou’reburningupwithit.”
“Idon’tfeellust.”
IfBrennahadn’tbeensoterrifiedoflosinghimtohisowndemons,shemighthavebeenputoffbyhisseeminglyintractablewill.“That’saflat-outlieandyouknowit.”Hehadsomanysecretshewouldn’tshare,butshewasdeterminedtohavethisoutatleast.“Youwerepracticallyeatingmeupwithyoureyesthatdayaftermyshower.Iswear,ifyoudenyit,Iwon’tberesponsibleformyactions.”Andhe’dbreakherheart.
Hestood,themovementsmooth,dangerous.“Youdon’tunderstandwhatyou’reasking.”SteelyPsyfocus,butshewascertainshesawthegoldflecksinhiseyesspark.
Excitementlickedalongherskin.“Iknowtherearepaincontrolsintheconditioning,”shebegan.“IcalledFaithtoday—”
“YouthinkI’mscaredofalittlepain?”Hisvoicehaddroppedadecibel,goneeerilydarker.“YouthinkIwouldn’triskmylifetobreakthechainsonmymind?”
She’dneverseenhimlikethis,hisicycontrolmorphingintowhatheranimalsensestoldherwasthemostfinelyhonedrage,sopureitdyedtheaircrimson.“Thenwhat?”shedaredtoask,walkinguntilshestoodonlyafewsmallfootstepsaway.“Whathassuchaholdoveryouthatyou’rewillingtowalkawayfromus?”Fromsomethingmorepowerfulandmorerealthananythingshe’deverbeforefelt
“I’mnotanythinglikeFaith,”hesaid,awallofstoneinfrontofher.“Myabilityisnothinggood.”Hethrusthishandintoherhairwithnottheslightestwarning,tuggingbackherheadandexposingherthroat.“Mysubdesignationdoesn’texistonanychartbuttheonekeptbytheArrowSquad.”
Fearcoatedhertongueassherealizedshehadsomehowsucceededinshatteringacrucialpartofhisdefensiveshields—thequestionwas,couldshehandlewhatshe’dunleashed?“Tellme,Judd.Ineedtoknow.”Becausehewashers.Evenhereandnow,herbodyhungeredforhim,hisverydarknessanaphrodisiac—becauseshewasconvincedhe’dneverharmher.Thenhespokeandshatteredeveryoneofhercozypreconceptions.
“Icouldkillyouduringsex,”hesaid,lettingherstraightenherheadbutnotreleasingher.“Stopyourheartbeat,crushyourwindpipe,cutoffthebloodflowtoyourbrain.”Thecoldwordshitherlikegunshotsatcloserange.“Ifnotthat,thenperhapsI’dcrackopenyourskulloryourchestcavity.Therearesomanywaystokillwithevenastraythought—ofcourseit’dbelessrefinedthanwhenI’veplanneditout,buttheendresultwouldbethesame.Youinabodybag.”
Everythingchilledinsideher.Atthatmoment,shewasalmostreadytorun.Thismanwasn’ttheJuddsheknew.Thismanterrifiedher.“Youcan’tmanipulatechangelingmindsthatway,”shewhispered,desperatetofindawayout.
“You’renotlistening.”Hislipsbrushedherear,butitwasnothingerotic.“Idon’thavetoinfluenceyourmindtokill.Notelekineticdoes.AndI’mavery,veryspecializedTk,subdesignationCell.Icaninfluencethephysicalstructuresofhuman,Psy,andchangelingbodies,”hesaidinherear,thefrostofdeathinhistone.“MycontrolisfineenoughthatIcanrearrangeskincellsifIwantto.YoucouldsayI’mthescalpeltoEnrique’sbluntobject.”
Shewouldnotcry—hehadusedthewordscalpelonpurpose.ThathadbeenEnrique’sfavoriteweapon,theonehe’dusedtocarveuphisvictims.ThethoughtofEnriquenudgedatadeeplyhiddenpieceofknowledgeinherbrain,butshewasconcentratingtoohardonJuddtopayattention.
“It’swhyyoudon’thavescars,”sheblurtedout,searchingforsomethingwithwhichtogroundherself.Allsoldiershadscars.Butfromtheglimpsesshe’dhadofJudd’sbody,she’dseennotthesmallestmark,notcountingthenewinjurieshe’dsufferedthepreviousnight.
Hedrewback,hiseyesgoingtoherlowerlip,whichshe’dcaughtbetweenherteeth.Itfeltlikehe’dtouchedher…strokedher.Suddenlythefeartransformed—intoapassionthatwassostrong,itmadehertremble.“Thescars,”sheprompted,breathless.
“Gettingridofthemwasatrainingexercisetohelpfostercontrol.”Histonehadn’twarmedup,buttherewasaninfernoinhiseyes.“Overtime,mybodyseemedtolearnthetrickandnowtheydisappearwithoutconsciouseffortonmypart.”Releasingherasprecipitouslyashe’dgrabbedher,heputseveralfeetofdistancebetweenthem.
Shehadsomanyquestionsbuzzingaroundinherheadbutonlyonewasimportant.“Therehastobeawayout.”Shewasn’tgoingtolosehim,herrecentshockofterrorbedamned.“Stoptryingtoscaremeandtellmehowwegetpastthis.”
ThegoldflecksdisappearedfromJudd’seyes,theirisesgoingpureblackandmergingintothepupils.Shesuckedinabreathbutheldherground.
“WhenIwastenandnotyetfullyconditioned,”hetoldher,“Ihadaspikeoftemper.ItwasdirectedataboywhohadtakentheballIwasusingtopracticemyTkskills.Hewasdeadbeforehehittheground.Theautopsyfoundthathisbrainhadexplodedfromtheinsideout.HisnamewasPaul,hisabilitywasMedical,andhewaseightyearsold.”
“Oh,God,Judd.”Shewenttoembracehim,butheheldupahandtostopher.
“Yourproximitytestsmycontrolandrightnow,itwouldn’ttakemuchtopushmeovertheedge.Onemistakeandthey’llbeburyingyoutomorrow.”Astarkwarning.
Shecouldfeeltheunacknowledgedpaininhimasifitwasherown.“Youwereachild,withachild’slackofcontrol.”
“AndnowI’manadultwithtotalcontrol,butSilenceisatthecoreofthatcontrol.”Thepureblackofhiseyesmethers,wouldn’tletherlookaway.“Iwillneverchoosetofullybreachit.”
“Iwon’tacceptthat.”Thetrappedwolfinherbareditsteethattheveryidea.“WhatdidyoursubdesignationdobeforeSilence?”Hopetookrootinherheart.
“Theywereeitherhermits,injail,ordead.”Hisbluntstatementheldthedestructiveforceofhardtruth,stiflingallhope.“I’vedonemyhomework,Brenna.”AcoldPsyreprimandbutthoseeyes…theyspokeofpassionandneed.“Thosewhorealizedwhattheywereearlyenoughseparatedthemselvesfromsocietyandspenttheirlivesensuringtheynevercameintocontactwithothersentientbeings.”
Theinhumanlonelinessofsuchalifeshookher.
“Theoneswhoweren’tsoluckyendedupkillingbyaccident.However,becausethenatureoftheirabilitiesmeantthatallsuchkillingstookplaceduringchildhood,Tk-Cellsweren’tincarceratedbutgiventrainingandasecondchance.”Hiseyeswentevenmoreblack,somethingshewouldn’thavebelievedpossibleasecondago.
“Somechosethehermit’sway,”hecontinued.“Theremaindertriedtoleadnormallivesbutinevitablyendeduptakinganotherlifeinaflashofthoughtlessrage—wife,neighbor,child.Atwhichpoint,mostofthemchosetostoptheirownhearts.Thosewhodidn’twerelockedintoisolationcellsfortherestoftheirnaturallives,theirmindschainedsoeventhePsyNetwasclosedtothem.”
Brennaunderstoodresponsibilityandpunishment,butwhatJuddwasdescribingwasakindofviciouscruelty.“Howcouldtheydothatto—”
“Wefeltthen,Brenna.ThePsyfelteverything.TheimprisonedTk-Cellswantedtosuffer,wantedtospendeternityrelivingthenightmareofkillingwhattheymostloved.”Movingcloser,hecontinuedhisrelentlessbarrage.“Therehaveneverbeenverymanyofus—thescientists’favoritetheoryisthatweoccurbyspontaneousmutation.That’stheonlyexplanationforourcontinuedexistence,giventhefactthatourgenesarerarelypassedon,especiallyunderSilence.Wedon’tmakereproductionagreements.Wedon’tfatherchildren.Wedon’tmate.”
Shefeltasifhe’dslappedher.Butinsteadofpain,herdominantemotionwasanger.“Soyou’regoingtoletfeardriveyou?You’rechoosingtheisolationofSilenceasyourownpersonalcage!Howcanyoudothattous?”
Thoseunearthlyeyesweresoclose,shecouldseethereflectionofherownfuriousexpressionintheirdepths.“I’dratherwatchyoutakealoverthandieatmyhands.”
Sheknewhowmuchthosewordsmust’vetorturedhim.Evennow,theairwasstainingbloodredwithanger.“Andwouldyouletthatmanlive?”shewhispered.
Noresponse.Thatgaveherhopeevenwhenhopeseemedimpossible.“Thenwefight,Judd.”Shedaredtoplaceherhandgentlyonhischest.Heflinchedbutdidn’tmoveaway.“Wefightuntileveryavenueisclosedandthenwedigundertheroadblocks.BecauseIamnotwalkingawayfromus.”Strongwords,butshewasshaking.Hecoulddestroyherwithafewcarelesscomments.
“You’rethestrongest,mostdeterminedwomanIknow.”Heplayedhisfingersalongthestrandsofherhair.“You’dmakemincemeatoutofalesserman.It’sagoodthingyoubelongtome.”
Reliefalmostcollapsedherknees.“Notfunny.”
“I’mserious.”Somethingverymalemovedoverhisface.“Ifyousayyesnow,Iwon’tletyougoifyoudecideI’mnotwhatyouwantlaterondowntheroad.Yousayyes,yousayyesforever.Besure.”
Forasingletautsecond,shewasafraidofthepossessioninthatvoice,theimplacabilityinhiseyes.Juddwasnotamewolfwhowoulddowhatevershewanted.Hewascomplicatedanddominantandmorethanalittlebad.
Andhewashers,nomatterthatthematingbonddidn’texistbetweenthem.Shedidn’tneedthatvalidation.Notwithherdarkangel.“IfIeverwantfreedom,I’llgetit.”MenlikeJuddneededtoknowtheirwomenhadclaws.
“Isthatathreat?”CoolPsyarroganceashedrewcloseenoughthatherbreastsbrushedagainsthimwitheachindrawnbreath.Hiseyesfadedbacktonormal.
Shewantedtomoan,havingbeendeprivedofhistouchfortoolong.“How’syourcontrol?”
“Notgoodenough.”Thewordswerepureice.
Mostpeoplewould’vereadthatasrejection,butBrennaknewitwasasignofexactlyhowmuchhefeltforher.Heartinherthroat,shepusheduphisshirttobaretheridgedlinesofanabdomenthatmadehermouthwater.“Iwanttocheckyourwounds.”
“They’refine—Icanmovethingsinsidemyownbody,shiftblood,fixdamage.”Butheunbuttonedtheshirtandletitdroptothefloor.Thebandagesjoineditasecondlater.
Easy,soeasy.Becausehewantedthis,too.
“You’rehealed.”Withhereyes,shetracedeverymuscularline,everyinchofgoldenmaleskin.“Beautiful.”Itcameoutonaheatedbreath.
Hischestmusclestightened.“Yes.Noscars.”
“Yes.”Butthatwasn’twhyshe’dcalledhimbeautiful.“Yourbodymakesmewanttodosweatyandhotandathleticthingsinbed.Iwanttokissandlickandtaste.”
Hisbicepsbulgedashefistedhishands.“Enough.”Bending,hepickeduphisshirt.“Ican’tchancehurtingyouthroughaninadvertentactivationofmyabilities.”
Shereachedoutandtoreitoutofhishands.“Ilikelookingatyouhalf-naked.Andifyoucangivemeorders,you’restillincontrol.”
HeatflaredinJudd’sabdomen,accompaniedbyknifecutsofpain.Shewaspushinghimonpurposeandsheknewjustwhattosaytodoit.“Brenna.”Awarning.
Heranswerwasakisspressedtothecenterofhischest.“Don’tgoallmaleonme.Imighthaveanideaabouthowtogetaroundyourability.”Shetrailedherfingersoverhisbareskin,skinthatwassuddenlythemostsensitivepartofhisbody.
“Ican’thelpbeingmale.”Hiserectionwasapoundingreminderofhissex.OfcoursethereactionwasabreachoftheProtocol,buthewantedmoreratherthanless.Herbodybrushedhisassherubbedherlipsoverhisskinandhehadtobiteofftheharshcommandforhertogolower.
Flickingouthertongue,shetastedhim.“Andwhatasexymaleyouare.Icouldpetyouallday.”Asigh.
“Pettingisachangelingdesire.”Exceptthathe’doftenwonderedwhatitwouldbeliketostrokeheruntilshe—Razorsslicingacrosshisbrain.Whitestarsinfrontofhiseyes.
Hersmilefaded.“Judd.Youreyes—theyflasheddarkredforasecond.”
Thecolorofblood,avisualreminderofwhatwouldhappentohisbrainifhecontinuedonthisroad.“It’snothing.Tellmeyouridea.”
Standingontiptoe,sheputthebackofonehandagainsthisforehead.“It’snotmyimagination.Yourtemperatureishigherthannormal.”
Itwasasideeffectoftheamountofenergyhewasextendingtoblockthedissonance,aswellasspeedupthehealingprocessonhiswounds—fast-trackedbyTamsyn’swork,theyhaddisappeared,buthisbodycontinuedtorepairminortearsontheinside.“Canyoublameme?”heasked,insteadoftellingherthetruth.“You’restandinginfrontofmesayingyouwanttopetme.”
Shelaughed,ahusky,sexysound.Droppingherhandbackontohischest,shesnappedherteethathim.“Iliketobite,too.”
“Aren’tyouworriedImightbiteback?”
Wideeyes.“Oh,Ihopeyoudo.”
Imagescascadedthroughhisfragmentedshields.Histeethclosingoverthelushcurveofherbreast,thesoftseductionofherinnerthigh.Theimagesweredetailed,perfect—he’dhadalongtimetothinkaboutwhathewantedtodo.Butevenifhecouldsurviveit…“You’renotready.”She’dpushedherselfwithGreg,hurtherself.Hewouldn’tdothesametoher.
Ascowlandthenshedidtheunexpected—sheleanedupandnippedatthesideofhisjawwithsharplittleteeth.“Howdoyouknow?Maybeitwasjustthewrongman.”
Hishandclenchedinherhairandhehadnoawarenessofraisingit.“Itoldyounottoremindmeofthatincident.”
Nailsdugintohischest.“Thenmakemeforgetit.”
Jealousyandpossessivenesssmashedthroughtobecomethedominatingforcesinhismind.Hefoundhisotherhandwasonherneck,curvingtoholdher.Gentle,histouchwasgentle.Hemadesureofit,butshewasmostdefinitelyinhispower.Notthatsheseemedtomind,thesmileonherlipspureinvitation.Leaningin,heclosedhisteethverydeliberatelyoverherlowerlip.CHAPTER28
Herheartbeatacceleratedunderhistouchashereleasedherlip.“ShouldIstop?”
“No.”Awhisper.“Kissmyneck,too.Henevertouchedmethere.”
Strokinghishanddowntorestbelowhershoulders,hebenttotastetheskinofherneck.Soft,silky,quintessentiallyfemale.Herhandtunneledintohishair
Painandpleasurecombined.
Thedissonancewasconstantbythispoint.Brokenshardsofglassknifedthroughhiscerebralcortexinanunrelentingcycle.Butthepleasure…thepleasurewasmore.He’dneverfeltsuchincrediblesensations.ThenBrennamadeatiny,needysoundandthepleasuremultiplieduntilhecouldhardlyfeelthepain.
Partofhimknewthiswasdangerous.Ifhewasn’tawareofthepain,ifhedidn’tacceptthewarningandpullback,notonlycouldhisabilitysliptheleash,thedissonancemightcausepermanentdamagetohisneuraltissues.ButdrowningintherichtasteofBrenna’ssensuality,hedidn’thavethecapacitytounderstandthoseperiloustruths.
Kissinghiswayupherneck,hetracedthelineofherjawbeforereturningtoherlips.Theywereparted,hereyesclosed.Acceptingtheinvitation,hepressedhislipsoverhers.Flash-fireheat.Puresexualneed.Hishandwasonherneckagainandhefeltthejaggedbeatofherheartspike.
Butshedidn’tpullaway.Infact,shewrappedherarmsaroundhisneckandtensed.Hisbodyknewwhatshewantedthoughhe’dneverbeforetouchedhersointimately.Releasingherfromhispossessivehold,hecaughtherasshejumpedtowrapherlegsaroundhisbody.Holdingontight,hebackedintoawallbutdidn’tturntopressheragainstit.Becauseshewastrembling.Scared.
Hebrokethekissand,blinkingpasttheblacknesscrawlingattheedgesofhisvision,raisedonehandtobrushthehairoffherface.“Whyareyouscaredofphysicalcontact?”She’dbeenrapedonthementalplane.Ofcoursetherewerephysicalrepercussions—suchadeepviolationofthepsychewasanightmaremostpeoplecouldn’timagine,muchlessendure.Buthesensedtherewassomethingmoretoherfear.
Herlowerliptrembledandasingletearformedatthecornerofhereye.“Hedidn’tjustmesswithmymind.”Itwasapainedwhisper.
HeknewEnriquehadhurtherbody,cuther,beatenherbut—“Sexualabuse?”Furyburnedacoldfireinhisveins.
“Notrapelikewethinkofit,”shesaid,fingersdiggingintohisshoulders.“Imean,hedidthattomymind—toreitopenandforcedmetoseethingsIdidn’twanttosee,putthingsintherethatweren’tmyownthoughts,thingsthatarestillinthere.IwashandIwash,butIcan’tgetthemout!”
“Iknow.”Helethernuzzleherfaceintohisneck,strokinghishandoverherhair.“Buthedidotherthings.”Actsshehadn’trevealedduringthehealingsessions.
Ajerkynod.“He—helikedtodemonstratehistelekineticcontrolbyforcingobjectsinsidemybodyusingonlyhisPsyskills.”
Redblazedinhismindanditwasn’tpain.Grittinghisteeth,hemadehimselfstaysilentandlisten.
“Iwassoashamed,”shewhispered,hercheekwetagainsthisskin.“Iwasawolfchangeling—stronger,faster,desperate—andIcouldn’tstophim.Sometimeshe’duntiemebutholdmedowntelekineticallysoit’dbelikeIwasholdingmyselfdown…likeIwascooperating.Thenhe’dexperimentwithmypainthresholds.Mostlyitwasmental,butsometimes…sometimeshe’ddecidetoseewhatmybodycouldtake.”
“Youhavenothingtobeashamedof.”Howcouldshehaveeventhoughtthat?“EnriquewasacardinalTkandakiller.Hebearsalltheblame.”
Herarmstightened.“I’mstartingtobelieveinmyselfagain,butanytimesomethingsexualhappens,Iassociateitwithhim.Ican’tseemtobreakthelinkthoughIknowit’snotright.Iknownotallmenarelikehim,but…”
“Whathedidwasaboutpain.Thisisaboutpleasure.”EvenarebelArrowknewthatdistinction.
Hertearsstayedsilent.Heartbreakinglyso.“Hemademybodyfeelpleasure,messedwithmyminduntilhecontrolledmyresponsesandmademeenjoyeveryhumiliating,degradingthinghedid.”Shamelayeredherwhisperedwords.
JuddwishedEnriqueweren’tdeadsohecouldtorturethebastard.He’dkeephimalive,makehimsuffer.Youcouldcutoffpartsofamanwithoutkillinghimfordays,weeksifyouwerepatient.“EnriquewasaTk,”herepeated,“withonlymidleveltelepathy.Hewantedtotearintoyourmind,butheneverreachedtheinnercore,thepartthatgovernsyouremotions.Hedidn’thavethatability.Whenhemadeyourbodyrespond,hedidsobycontrollingyournerves.”
Brennahadgonequiet,asifconcentratingonhisfactualexplanation.
“Youwerealwaysawareofwhatwashappening,weren’tyou?”
Awarmbreathagainsthisneck.“ItwaslikeIcouldwatchwhathewasdoingtomebutnotstopit.Ihatedit,butmybodydidwhateverhewanted.”
“Sotherewasnopleasure,onlyaphysicalresponse.”
“Aren’ttheythesame?”Raisingherhead,shelookedhimintheeye,thetearshavinglefthergazestrangelyclear.
“Theorderiswrong.”Heknewthelogic,hadbeentaughtitaspartoftheconditioningprocess.Whenhesawherfrown,hedecidedtoprovehispoint.“IfItoldyouIthinkyouhavethemostbeautifulbodyI’veeverseen,wouldyoufeelpleasure?”
Ablushcoloredhercheeks.“Doyoumeanthatorareyoumakingahypotheticalpoint?”
“Imeaneveryword.”Shewassoftandcurvyandlushlyfemale.Perfect.
“Ofcoursethatwouldmakemehappy.”Shebrushedakissoverhislipsanditwassounexpected,hehadtoscrambletoregatherhisthoughts.
“Whatifastrangeronadarkstreetsaidthesame?”
“I’dgetoutofthereasfastasmylegswouldcarryme.”Shemadeaface.“You’resayingpleasureisdictatedbytheheartandmind.Itrustyou,thinkyou’resexyashell,andsoyoupleasureme.Anotherman,whilehemightsomehowbeabletoforcemybodytoreact,wouldgivemenopleasure.”
Everymanhadalimit.Juddfiguredhe’dgonepasthisweeksago.“Thelinkmustbepresentbetweenabodyandafreemind.Withoutthatlink,it’snotpleasurebutafacsimilesowrongit’spain.”
Shewassilentforclosetoaminute.“Ineverthoughtaboutitlikethat,butyou’reright.Itwaspain.Ittoremeaparttohavemybodyreactagainstmywill,hurtmesobadlyIhadtocurlupinmyinnermindtosurvive.Saschasaidit’sthemostbasicofsurvivalinstincts,whatsentientbeingsdowhenthere’snootherwayout.Sometimes,theyneverreturnfromthecatatonicstate.”
Driventotheedge,butunwillingtochancehurtingBrenna,hefocusedhisrageintomanipulatinganinanimateobjectinstead.Thesofaraisedoffthefloorbehindher.“Yes,”hesaid,hopingshewouldn’tnotice.“Soembracethepleasureyougetfromme.It’snottainted.”
Shesmiled,slowandbright.“You’rewonderful,youknowthat?Alllogicandreasonbutwonderful.”Asimplestatementthatmeanteverything.“Andevenmoresobecauseyou’vebeenholdingmeallthistimewithoutcomplaining.I’mnolightweight.”
Hedebatedwhethertosayitanddecidedfortruth.“I’maTk.Itcostsmenothingtoholdyou.”
Herfacecloudedover.“You’reusingtelekinesistoholdmeup?”
“Yes.It’swhoIam.”Itwastimetheydealtwiththat.“Lookbehindyou.”
Frowning,sheglancedoverhershoulder.Hermouthfellopen.“You’remakingthesofa…andthetable,float!”Sheturnedbacktohim.“Why?”
“Toomuchpower.Ihavetoreleaseitsomehow.”
Shewriggledandheknewshewantedtobefreed.Heletherjumpdown,wonderingwhatshe’ddonow.Abletoreininhismostdangerousemotionsnowthatshewasnolongertouchinghim,hebroughtthefurniturebackdowntoearth.
“Liftme,”sheorderedoutofnowhere.
“Brenna—”
Shetookacoupleofstepsbacktogivehimmoreroom.“Doit,Iwanttofeelyour…energy,differentiateitfromhis.”Astubbornlook.
JuddhadthesuddenrealizationthatifheeversawfearofhimselfinBrenna’seyes,itwouldbreakhimbeyondredemption.“Holdstill.”Hecoulddoitwhileshewasmoving,butshemightinadvertentlyhurtherselfifshepushedforwardatthewronginstantandredirectedhiskineticenergy.
Thenhesimplydidit.
“Judd.”Hereyeswentwideasshefoundherselfstandinginmidair,twofeetoffthefloor.
“ShouldIputyoudown?”Itcosthimliterallynothingtodothis.Infact,itlessenedthedissonancebecauseofthedisciplinerequiredtogovernhisTk.
“No.Takemehigher.”
Heobeyed.Tohissurpriseshebegantolaugh.“It’slikeI’mflying.”Curlingupintoaball,shedidaflipintheair,forcinghimtoconcentrateevenhardertocompensate.Atthatinstant,hewasherpersonalArrow,aslavewho’ddothisforaslongasshewanted,justtohearherlaugh.
“Dosomethingelse!”Agrinningorderasshereturnedtoanuprightposition.
Hebegantopressonherlegs.Afterasecond,sheseemedtounderstandandcooperatedashetookherhorizontal.Nowshereallylookedlikeshewasflying.Herexpressionwasbothdelightedandstartledatthesametime.
“Okay,”shesaidsoonafter.“Enough.Idon’twanttowearyouout.”
“I’mfine,”hesaid,obeyingnonetheless.Becauseshe’dasked.TherecouldbenoconnectionbetweenhisTkandherlackofchoice.
“Baby,Ihaveplansforthathotbodofyoursandforthoseplanstosucceed,you’llneedallyourenergy,”
Hemadesureherlandingwassoft.“Didmypowerscareyou?”
“No.”Shesoundedvaguelysurprised.“Ithinkit’sbecauseheneverdidanythinglikethat.Hewasonlyinterestedincausingpainandhumiliation,notplaying.”
Play.Anotherchangelingconcept.“Wasthatwhatweweredoing?”Hewatchedhercrossthefloortohim,gracefulanddeadly—BrennaShaneKincaidcoulddestroyhim,andyetheofferednoresistancewhensheputherhandonhischest.
“Yourskinburns!”Shescowled.“What’swrong?Don’tgivemeanycrapaboutitbeingnothing.Youririsesarepureblackagain—thegoldisgoneandIcan’tevendistinguishthepupils.No—wait.”Herforeheadwrinkled.“Theirisesaren’tblack—they’readeepshadeofred!”
“It’snotsomethingyouhavetobeconcernedabout.”
Sheletoutalowgrowlthatsoundedlikeitshould’vecomefromamuchbiggercreature.“Iswear,you’regoingtodrivemetogrievousbodilyharmoneofthesedays.”
Hecouldn’tresist.Reachingout,heranhisfingeroverhercheek,alongherjaw,anddownherneck,closinghishandaboutherneckoncemore.Petting.Gentling.“Thenyou’dhavetofindanotherhotbod.”
Herlipstwitchedandsheraisedherhandoffhischesttocloseoverthewristofthearmholdingher.“Veryfunny,butI’mnotthateasilydistracted.Baby,please.”
Hewasalmostusedtobeingcalled“baby”byher.“It’snothingyoucanchange.WhyshouldIburdenyouwithit?”
“Because,myPsydarling”—shetuggedoffhishandandlacedherfingersthroughit—“that’swhatloversdo.Share.”
“Wearen’tlovers.”Hehadtograspeveryshredofreasonavailabletohim,becausethetouchofherhandagainsthiswasshovingemotionthroughhimlikeabatteringram.
“Judd.”
ShewassostubbornshecouldhavebeenPsy.Buthewasevenmoreso—he’dlearnednottogiveawayanythingevenunderthemostextremepressure.Whichwaswhyhisdecisiontotellhermadenosense.“EachtimeIbreakSilence,there’safeedbackreaction;youknowthat.”
Shenodded,expressionsolemn.“WhatFaithsaidaboutthepain.”
“It’scalleddissonanceanditaccumulates.”Paininhishead,inhisnerves,inhisverybones.“Ihavetoextendacertainamountofpowertokeepitcontained.”
Brennajerkedherhandfromhiswithoutwarning.“Inreal-speak,youhurteverytimeItouchyou,everytimeweconnect!”
Hegrabbedherhandagain.“It’saprogrammedreaction,oneIcanhandle.”
Whenshetuggedthistime,hedidn’tallowhertogetaway.
“Andthat’sanotherthing,”shemuttered,“howcomeyou’resostrong?”Shedidn’twaitforananswer.“Whathappensifyoutrytodismantletheconditioningthatcausesthedissonance?”
“Ican’taffordtodisengagethatconditioning.”Animmutablefact.“Ineedthespikesofpain—theykeepmefromkillingbytellingmewhenI’mgettingtooclosetoanemotionalreactionthatmightleadtotheunintentionalactivationofmyabilities.”
“Okay,butwhycan’tyougetridoftheotherpartsoftheProtocol—soyoudon’tgethurtforfeelingthingsbelowthatunsafelevel?”Shebitherlowerlipandgavehimaguiltylookthroughherlashes.“IaskedFaithforhelpingettingyoutobreakSilence.”
Aflareofred.“Ifyouwanttoknowsomethingaboutme,cometome.”
“Ineededsomeadvice!”
Thistime,itwasJuddwhopulledaway.Walkingtotheothersideoftheroom,heturnedhisbacktoher,bracinghispalmsonthewall.“ThereisnowaytobreakSilence.Notforme.Irefusetobecomeadangertoyouoranyoneelse.This—tonight—isasfarasIcango.”
Brennawantedtokicksomething.Instead,shewenttostandbehindhimand,afteraslighthesitation,putherhandonhismuscledshoulder.Hisskinwasafever.Ithurthertoknowthathertouchhurthim,butshealsoknewifshestoppedtouchinghim,she’dlosehimtothetalonsofSilence.“Listeninsteadofdoingthealphamalethingonme.”
“Hierarchyisachangelingconcept.”
Shewrappedherarmsaroundhiswaistandpressedherselftohisback.Thenshebithim—alightgrazeoverhisnakedback.Hedidn’tgrowlasawolfmalemighthave,butwhathedidwasjustasdominant,justasdeliciouslysexy.Shedidn’twantapuppy—shewantedamanwithteeth.AndJuddhadplenty.
Lookingoverhisshoulder,hegaveheradarkglance.“Keeppushingandyoumightnotliketheresult.”
Somethingsizzledunderherfingertips,athousandtinyteasingbites.Delighted,shepressedakissovertheskinshe’dbitten.Juddlookedaway,pressinghishandsharderonthewallinfrontofhim.Ithadtheeffectoffurtherdefiningthemusclesinhisback.
“Whatwasthatyoudid?”
“AcontrolleduseofTk.”Hisvoicewasarcticinitsextremefocus.
Dangerous,hewasdangerous.Againherbraintriedtotellhersomethingimportant,butshewasconcentratingtoohardongettingthroughtoJudd.“Justlisten,okay?”Shekeptgoingbeforehecouldinterrupt.“I’vebeentalkingtoFaithmorethanyouknow.ShethinksthatmaybeSilenceisn’tallbad.”
“TheProtocolgivessociopathsfreerein.”Wordsthatslicedwiththeirbrutalcold.
Sheshivered.“Thatalmostfeltlikeyoucutme.”Thesensationhadbeenofaknifepassingclosetoherskin.Itscaredher—SantanoEnriquehadtauntedherwithhisscalpelshourafterhour.Sometimeshe’ddonemorethansimplytaunt.
Juddturnedtostone.“Stoptouchingme.I’mlosingcontrol.”
Therewassomethinginhisvoicethatmadeherobey.Sheunclaspedherselffromhimandtookacoupleofstepsback.Hedidn’tturnashespoke.“Icancausetelekineticdamagethatlookslikeacut,literallyturnmywillintoablade.”
Sheswallowedattheimage.“Okay.”
“Ididn’tmeantohurtyou,”hesaid,everymuscleonhisbacktight.
Herfeartransformedintopuretenderness.God,themanwassohardheaded,sounwillingtoseethetruth.He’dlikelykillhimselfbeforeharmingherandhethoughthehadtoconvinceherofthat?“Isaiditalmostfeltlikeyou’dcutme.Youdidn’tactually.”
“Soclose,Brenna.Tooclose.Youshouldberunning,nottryingtoconvincemetotestmychainsevenmore.”
“That’sexactlyit,”shesaid,fistingherhandsinordertokeepherdistance.Touchwasnaturaltoher,thelackofitunbearable.EspeciallywhereJuddwasconcerned.“MaybeyoucanchoosewhichpartsofSilenceyouwant.WhereisitwrittenthatyouhavetoacceptorrejecttheentireProtocol?FaithsaystheskillsshelearnedunderSilencehelpherfightthecascadestriggeredbybadvisions.”
“WhataboutSascha?”
Shebreathedasighofrelief—hewaslistening.“Youknowtheanswer.Silencewasplainbadforher;itrantotallycountertoherabilities.ButnotforFaith—”
Heturnedtofaceheratlast.Hisexpressionstoppedherinmidsentence.“IfSaschaexists,thenit’slogicalIdo.”
“Idon’tunderstand.”Herchangelinginstinctsurgedhertoholdhimtoherwithtactilecontact.Theneedwassostrongshehadtophysicallyforceherselftopayattention.
“I’mherexactopposite.”Juddcrossedhisarmsoverthatbeautifulchestthatmadeherwanttostroke.“Sheheals.Ikill.Thoseareourgifts.”
Angerburnedthroughhersensualitybutparadoxicallystokedupthemoreprofoundhungerinsideofher.Oh,howshewantedJuddLauren.“Whydoyouinsistonseeingyourselfthatway?Youhelpedhealme,remember?”He’d“fed”Saschahispsychicstrength,hadoftenendeduptotallydrained,onlytoshowupagainthenextday.
Hewavedoffthereminder.“Alesserability.Mymainonecanbeusedforlittleelsebutdeath.Forme,Silence—allofit—isnecessary.AslongasIcandisciplinemyemotions,Iwon’tkill.Simple.”
“Idon’tbuythat.”
“You’veforgottenwhathappenedtothoselikemepre-Silence.”
“No,Ihaven’t.”Theideaofherbeautiful,loyal,andstrongJuddspendinghislifealoneorinajailcellwasherpersonalnightmare.“Buttheyweretheotherextreme—noemotionalcontrolatall.I’maskingyoutoconsiderthattheremightbeamiddleway.”
Somethingbeeped,startlingherintoaslightjump.Juddtookasleeksilverphonefromhispocketandspokeafewtersewordsintoit.Allshereallycaredaboutwerethelast—“I’llbethereassoonasIcan.”
Shewaiteduntilhe’dhunguptoask.“Where?”
“ThatwasIndigo.Theythinkthey’vetrackeddownoneofthehyenasresponsibleforthecabinexplosion.”Pickingitupoffthefloor,hepulledonhisshirt.“They’reholdinghimatthecabin.”
“Whydotheyneedyou?”Hercravingfortouch,histouch,wasabitingachebynow.Unabletoresist,sheclosedthedistancebetweenthemandbegandoinguptheshirtbuttons.“Thesoldiersquestionpeopleallthetime.”Iftheygotthewronganswers,theydidmorethanjustquestion.Brennaacceptedthenecessityofthat—intheirworld,mercywasoftentakenasweakness.WhichwaswhytheSnowDancersmadecertaintheirpublicfacewasoneofviciousstrength.
Judddidn’tpushheraway.“Toscarehim,whatelse?”
Finishedwiththeshirt,shedroppedherhandsandlookedup.“What’sthatsupposedtomean?”
Hiseyeshadn’treturnedtonormal.“Everyoneinthepackhasaposition.You’reatech,Riley’sasoldier,andLara,ahealer.Haven’tyoueverconsideredwhatIam?”
“Asoldierlikemybrothers,”shesaid,apainfulknotforminginthepitofherstomach.
“Thekindofsoldiertheycallonwhenamessneedstobecleanedup.”CHAPTER29
“Hawkewouldn’tuseyoulikethat.”Wouldn’tdemandthatpriceforthesanctuaryJuddhadsoughtforthechildren’ssake.
“HawkewilldowhateverittakestokeeptheSnowDancersatthetopofthefoodchain.”Abluntanswer.“Butyou’reright—changelingsdon’tmuchliketouseassassins.”
Attackfromthefront.Itwasamatterofpride.Ofhonor.
“But,”hecontinued,frostchillinghisvoice,“therearealotofthingsIcandowithoutkilling—orevenleavingabruise—inordertogetsomeonetospeak.”
Brennaknewheexpectedthattosendherrunning.Butshe’dgrownupinafamilyoftoughmen.Shewasn’tsomewide-eyedmisswhodidn’tknowthefactsbehindSnowDancer’spower.“Thatdoesn’tscareme,Judd.”Thoughshe’dbelyingifshesaiditdidn’tworryher—forhim.Whatimpactdidithaveonamantobethedarkestofenforcers?
“Good,becauseItoldyou—there’snogoingback.”Heturnedtowardthedoor.
“Biteme,”shesnapped,frustratedathisstubbornwill,hisrefusaltoevenconsiderawayoutofSilence.Inthetensepausethatfollowed,shefinallylistenedlongenoughtoherowninstinctstounderstandsomethingshe’dknownsubconsciouslysincethedayhe’dtoldherabouthistelekineticabilities.Frustrationtransformedintoangeranditflowedthroughherlikefire.“Youknowwhatreallypissesmeoff?”
Hepausedwithhishandonthedoorknob.“Idon’thavetimeforgames,Brenna.”
“Whatreallypissesmeoff,”shecontinuedasifhehadn’tspoken,“isyoudaringtocomeacrossassopossessiveandprotectivewhenyou’vebeenlyingtomeformonths.”
Hewentverystill.“That’sadangerousinsult.”
“You’reaTk.EnriquewasaTk.Youcanthrowmenagainstwallsandcrushtheirbones.Socouldhe.HowamIdoingsofar?”
“Gettothepoint.”
Herbloodboiledathisicyresponse.“IfstrongTkaresodamnlethal,howdidSnowDancerandDarkRivermenmanagetoexecuteEnriquewithoutasinglechangelingfatalityormajorinjury?”Stridingtowherehestood,shewenttoe-to-toewithhim.“Youweretherethenighttheyrescuedmeandexecutedthatmonster.”Shehadcompletefaithinherpack’sabilitytodealwithamurderousPsy,butSantanoEnriquehadbeenacardinalTkfightingforhislife.“Weren’tyou?”
“WhatwoulditmatterifIwas?”
Herheartfroze—shehadwantedhersuddenburstofinsighttobenothingmorethanparanoia.“Itmattersbecauseyoudidn’ttellme!Whythehellnot?”
Hisphonebeepedagain.Theybothignoredit.
“Becauseyoudidn’tneedtoknow.”Hisjawwasasunyieldingasstone.“Ithasnobearingonanything.”
“Thehellitdoesn’t.”Shethumpedafistagainsthischest,makinghimmovebackfromthedoor.“Itmeansyou’vebeenlyingtomefromdayone!Ifyoucanlieaboutthat,whatelsemightyoubelyingabout?”
Hegrabbedherwristwhenshewould’vespunaway.“You’reactingextremelyirrationally.Thishasnothingtodowithwhatweweretalkingabout.”
Shewrenchedherhandfromhishold,notwantingherdefensesfallingvictimtotherawheatofhistouch.Shewassodamnhungryforhimshecouldeasilybecomehissensualslave.One,justoneteasingstrokeandshe’dmelt.GoodthingJuddwasn’tthestrokingkind.“Guesswhat?OutofthePsyNet,thisiscalledbeingfurious.And,foryourinformation,I’mplanningonstayingthatwayforawhile.”Wrenchingopenthedoor,shewalkedoutandheadedtowardanexit.
Shedidn’tgiveintotheshakesuntilshewashiddenintheinnerperimeter,surroundedbythethickdarkoftheforest.Placingahandonthetrunkofatree,shetriedtobreatheevenlyofthecoldair,butitwasallshecoulddototakeinraggedgulps.Juddwasright.Herreactionhadbeenunreasonableonthesurface,asifshewerepickingameaninglessfight.Hedidn’tunderstand.
Thefactofhiskeepingsomethingfromherbecauseitmightupsether,treatingherlikeaninvalid,wasenoughtomakehermad.Butthatwasn’twhatdevastatedher—itwastherealizationthathe’dseenherathermostbroken,hermosthumiliated.She’dbeentiedspread-eagledonabedinthebutcher’spersonaltorturechamber.Naked.Bleeding.
Shedidn’twantJuddtohavethatimageofherinhismind.He’dseenherduringthehealingsessions,butthere,she’dbeenfightingback,proudofherselfforsurviving.ButinEnrique’slair,she’dbeenclosetogivingin,closetohavingherwillcrushed.Inthefinalhoursbeforeshewithdrewwhollyintohermind,she’dbegged.Ifthebutcherhadpromisedtosetherfree,shewouldhavecrawled,wouldhavecooperatedwithhissickgames,wouldhavelickedhisfeet…anythingtomakethepainstop.
Tearsstreameddownherfaceforthesecondtimethatday,buttheseweren’tquiet,silenttears.Thesehurtcomingoutandburnedlikeacidonherskin.Shebitherlipstokeepfrommakingloudnoises.Butthetearswouldn’tstop.Shewashumiliatedandhurtandangryandlonely,theemotionsacausticbrewthatmadeitimpossibleforhertodrawaclearbreath.
Handsonhershoulders.
Theystartledherenoughthatsheallowedhimtoturnherbeforeliftingupherfiststokeepdistancebetweenthem.Hehuggedhertohimanyway.“Shh.Don’t.”
Itonlymadehercryharder.Whenhisbodycurledprotectivelyoverhersandherubbedhischeekagainstherhair,herheartalmostbroke.SheknewthepaymentSilencemustbedemandingfromhim.Andstillheheldher.
“Why?”Shetriedtopushoffhischestbuthewouldn’tlether.“Why?”
Oneofhishandsrosetocloseoverhernapeinthatdominantwayshe’dcometoexpect,aholdsheallowedbecauseshetrusted.“Iknowhowproudyouare,howstrong.That’showIseeyouandthat’sallthatmatters.”
Herthroatfeltscrapedraw.“Didyouseeme?”Splayedoutonthatbed,reducedtoathing,mindandbodynolongerconnected.
“No.”
“Don’tlietomeagain.Ican’tbearit.”
“Ididn’tseeyou.Yourbrothersrefusedtoletanyonenear.”Buthe’dgoneintotheroomafterward.He’dseenwhereshe’dbeenheld,seentherestraintsshe’dbloodiedinherattemptstogetout,theinstrumentsoftortureEnriquehadpreferredoverhisPsyabilities.
Hertearshadlessened,butshedidn’tstopcryingaltogetheruntilseveralminuteslater.Ifheneverheardthosebrokencriesagain,itwouldbetoosoon.Herensuingsilencecutpartsofhimnooneshouldhavebeenabletoreach.Hewantedtoforcehertospeak.
Theblueflarearoundhereyesseemedtoglowwhenshefinallyraisedherhead.“ImadeDrewandSaschatellmethedetailsoftherescue.Theydidn’tmentionyou,asidefromsayingyou’dprovidedapsychicdistractionatacertainpointinthetrap.”
“Saschaneverknewaboutmyinvolvement,”hetoldher.“Iwasalast-minuteadditionwhenHawkerealizedwhotheyweredealingwith.Hefigureditwouldn’thurttohaveaPsyonboard,especiallyatrainedsoldier.Myjobwastodealwithanypsychicoffensive.”
“Hawketrustedyou?”
“No.”Juddhadnoillusionsaboutthat.“ButheknewIwouldn’tdoanything,notwiththekidsstillbackintheden.”Whenshedidn’trespond,hecontinued.“I’mguessingAndrewdidn’tmentionitbecausehismemoriesofthatdayareconfusedatbest.Hewasdrivenbypureanger.Hemightnotevenhaveseenme.IwentinwiththeteamtoexecuteEnrique,whileheandRileypeeledofftorescueyou.”
She’dbeenheldinalargesoundproofedroominEnrique’sapartment,onlymetersfromwhereherabductorslept.“EnriquewastiredfromthePsyNetbattlewithSascha”—theotherPsyhadmanagedtoweakentheformerCounciloraswellasconfirmhisidentityasBrenna’sabductor—“buthewasn’twipedout.”
JuddhadblockedEnrique’svolleyofobjectsasthewolvesandcatsswarmedin,unabletousehisTk-CellabilitiestostopEnrique’sheartbecausehisopponenthadbeentoogoodatdeflectingbackTkpower.Butthen,sowasJudd.WhileEnriquewasfocusinghiseffortsonJudd,erroneouslyjudginghimthebiggestthreat,theDarkRiverleopardsandSnowDancerwolveshadsurroundedhim.
Thesecondtheywereinposition,JuddhadthrowneverythinghehadattheotherTk,punchingaholeinEnrique’sphysicalshields.Itwasallthechangelingsneeded.They’dtornhimtopiecesinamatterofminutes.Bloodhadsprayedthewallsinaspurtofarterialred,afittingcodatoakiller’slife.Inthemelee,noonehadrealizedexactlywhatitwastheyhadseenJudddo,leavingthesecretofhisTkabilitiesintact.
Brenna’shandopenedagainsthisshirt.“Youdidn’tseeme.”
“No.”Atleasthecouldtellherthattruth.
Shenodded,asifacceptinghisexplanation.“I’mglad.”
Hekissedtheshellofherear.“Nomoretears.Ever.”
“Sorry,honeypie,butI’mwolf.We’retemperamental—getusedtoit.”
“Notthatone.I’llacceptdarlingandevenbaby,”hesaid,feelingsomethingunclenchinhischestathearinghersoundlikeherselfagain,“butneverhoneypie.”
“Babycakes?”Sherubbedherfaceagainsthischest.
HetookapagefromAndrew’sbook.“Nowyou’rejustbeingmean.”
Shelaughedanditwasthebestsoundhe’dheardineternity.
HewaslatetothemeetingwithIndigo—furtherdelayedbyacalltoletRileyknowBrennawasalone—buthetrulydidn’tgiveadamn.TheonlythinghecaredaboutwasthatthecapturedhyenahadonceposedadangertoBrenna—hisdeathwarrantwasalreadysigned.
Indigowaswaitingoutsidetheundamagedsectionofthecabin,herbreathfrostingthepast-midnightair.“Thoughtyou’dnevergethere.”
“Whereishe?”
“Inside.MalefromthePineWoodpack—theycontrolatinysliceofArizona.”Thehightailofherblackhairswungasshejerkedherheadtoindicatethedoor.“He’snottalking.That’swhyIcalledyou.Hyenasusuallycrackunderpressure.They’rescavengers,notpredators.”
Scavengers—thosewhopreyedontheweakandhelpless.IfBrennahadfallen,thehyenaswouldhavesavagedher.HiseyesflickedtothewindowsofthewoodenstructurebehindIndigo,hissensessearchingforandfindingtheunfamiliarmentalscentofthecaptive.Theurgetocrushhisskullwasoverpowering,badenoughforthedissonancetowarnhimtopullback.Helistenedbecausethecaptivecouldn’tdie.Notyet.“Ifthey’recowards,what’sgiventhisoneaspine?”
“He’smorescaredofsomeoneelse.”Indigo’svoicewasnotpleased.“Andpeopleusuallystartprayingwhentheyseeme.”
“Youthinkit’stheCouncil.”Theywerethenightmare,thethingunderthebed,thedeepestdarkness.Andtheyknewhowtowait.Muchasaspiderknowshowtowait.
“Yeah—itcan’tbeanotherpack.”Sherubbedherglovelesshandstogether.“Ifitwere,he’dhavesunglikeacanarybynow.”
“Isheblindfolded?”If,fornoreasonthathecouldforeseerightnow,Juddletthemanlive,hecouldnotbeallowedtobecomeathreattothefamily.Ofcourse,giventhatJuddknewhewasn’trationalwhereBrennawasconcerned,thehyena’schancesofwalkingoutalivewereclosetonil.
Indigonodded.“IputitonwhenIheardyourvehicle.”
“I’llmakehimtalk.”
AnothernodandthenIndigoledhimintothecabin.Thehyenasatonachairinthecenteroftheroom,fearadampsheenoverhisface.Seeingit,JuddglancedatIndigo.“You’reright.”Noonethatpetrifiedwouldhaveheldoutforlongotherwise,notwithfourwolvesintheroom—Indigo,D’Arn,Elias,andtheknifethrower,Sing-Liu.
Thehyenawasthinwithsallowskin.Blackhair.Apatheticgoateeinthesameshade.Thelatterwasastragglingattempttohideachinsoweak,itwasawonderhehadn’twethimself.HiseyeswerecoveredbyastripofdarkbrownfabricbutJudddidn’tneedtoseethemtoknowthepanicskitteringthroughthecaptive’sbones.
Walkingtostandbehindthehyena,Juddplacedasinglefingeragainsthistemple.“Whichpartofyourbraindoyouliketheleast?”Hedidn’tneedtouchtowork,butthetheatricshelped.Asdidthementalpushheapplied,theonethatmust’vefeltlikeaslow-movingpinceraroundtheman’shead.
Thehyenagaspedbutdidn’tspeak.
“I’lldestroythepartIchoose,then,”Juddsaid,makinghisvoicemetallicallyPsy.DespitehisearlierthoughtsaboutthethreattoBrenna,hewasn’tenjoyingthis.Itwassimplysomethingtobedone.Predatorsandscavengersrespectedonlybrutestrength.Thechangelingsweren’tsodifferentfromthePsyinthatregard.
Thehyena’sreactionwassurprising.Tearsleakedoutfromundertheblindfold.“Youweren’tthere!”hescreamed.“Youfuckingweren’tthere!”
Juddstoppedtouchingtheman,histelepathicabilitiessensingsomethingodd.Backingupintotheshadowsattheedgesoftheroom,hebeganworkingonthepsychiclevel,awareofthephysicalconversationwiththesectionofhismindfunctioningonthatplane.
Indigoglancedathim.Athisnod,shetuggeddowntheblindfold.“Don’tlookbehindyou”washerfirstorder.“Weweren’twhere,Kevin?”shepromptedwhenthemaledidn’tspeakagain.“YoutalkorIlethimdowhathe’sgoodat.Ithinkyoucanguesswhattheresultwillbe.”
Yes,Juddthought,threatenhimwiththePsybogeyman.Buthewasfarmoreinterestedinsomethingelsehe’dfoundinthehyena.
Indigogrowledlowinherthroat.“Talk.Lastwarning.”
“Parrish,ourpackleader”—Kevinalmoststumbledoverhiswordsinhisefforttoobey—“hesaidwehadtodowhatthePsysaidandtheywouldn’ttouchus.”
“Why?”Indigofoldedherarms,lookingdownonthemale.Juddrecognizedthemoveasadisplayofdominance.“Kevin,Iaskedyouaquestion.”
Thehyena’sswallowwasaudible.“Becauseotherwisetheywouldwipeusout.Theykilledeightofourpupsasawarning.”
Indigoswore,armsunfolding.“Whythehelldidn’tyoucometous?”
Juddknewthatwhilethewolveswouldn’thesitatetodestroytrespassersintheirterritory,they’dalsohelpaweakerchangelinggroupagainstanenemythatdidn’tfollowtherulesofengagement.Oneofthemostimportantruleswas:Notargetingminors.
“Wedid!”Kevin’sscreamfadedofftoawhimper.“Youwouldn’tcome.”
“Whotoldyouwewouldn’tcome?”IndigohadsoftenedhervoiceandcroucheddowninfrontofKevin.Notsubmissionbutasignalthathemightcomeoutofthisalive.
Kevintookadeep,shakybreath.“Parrish.HewenttoHawkeandyouralphalaughedinhisface.Saidthelossofourpupswasgoodriddancetobadrubbish.Thentheleopardssaidtheywouldn’thelpusunlessthewolvesdid!”
Thistime,Indigo’soathwasconsiderablymoreblue.“That,Icantellyou,isacompletelie.Hawkehasathingaboutpups,andthecatsmaketheirowndecisions.”
KevinreactedviolentlytoIndigo’sstatement,goingsofarastomakeaggressivesoundsinhisthroat.“It’snotalie!”
“Yourpackleadersoldyouout.”Indigorosetoherfeet,rageacoldmaskoverhersharplydefinedfeatures.
“No!Hehadnoreasonto.”
“Yeah?Trydelusionsofgrandeur.Maybehethinkshe’sgoingtoreplaceHawkeandLucas.”
Kevinstoppedstruggling.Thesilencelastedforseverallongseconds.“Hesaidthatthatwouldbeourrevenge—totakeyourplace.”
“WhatwereParrish’sorders?”Juddasked,nearcertainoftheanswer.
Kevin’swholebodytwitched,asifhe’dforgottenthedangerathisback.“TodowhatthePsysaid.”
“AndwhatdidthePsysay?”Indigoprompted.CHAPTER30
“Weirdstuffaboutshieldsandloweringthem.”Hesoundedconfused.“Theyhypnotizedustofixtheoneswhowouldn’t.”
“Giveusaminute,Kevin.”Raisinghisblindfoldagain,IndigometJudd’sgaze.Henoddedtowardthedoor.
Outside,thelieutenantleanedagainstthevehiclethathadbroughtJuddtothecabin.“Mindcontrol?”sheasked,spinerigid.
Heshookhishead.“Morelikeprogramming.FullmindcontrolneedstobemaintainedbyaconstantlinkbetweenthecontrollingPsyandthevictimandthatlinksuckspower.”
Juddhadneversteppedoverthatline,buthe’dbeentaughtthetechnicalaspects.HehadnodoubtthathadhestayedintheNet,hewouldhaveendedupusingthatknowledge.Evilhadatendencytowearawayathumanity.ItwasatruththeGhostdidn’tyetsee.“Ifyoudon’twantthatdrainonyourresources,”hecontinued,“youcanprogramsomeonetodocertainthings.Thedownsideandupsidecomparedtomindcontrolareboththesame—thevictimcannotandwillnotdeviatefromthesetplan.Thehyenaswouldn’thaveturnedbackevenifthey’dbeenconfrontedbyarmedwolves.”
“Thisisamess.”Indigokickedupsnowwithherboot.“Iftheygottothehyenas,wedon’tknowwhoelsetheymighthaveinfluenced.”
“Findingthatoutisyourjob.”Juddbeganwalkingbacktothecabin.“MineistocleanKevin’smind.”
“Wait!”Indigorantohisside.“Wecanusehimasoureyesandears.”
Hemethereyes.“No.”Thatwasontheothersideofthatlinebetweenhumanityandtheclawingdarknessthatconstantlywhisperedatthecornersofhismind.“Iwon’treplaceonekindofslaverywithanother.”
Indigo’sfaceblanched.“Youmakemefeellikeamonster.”
Judddidn’tanswer,alreadytothedoor.Pushingitopen,hewalkedinside.Kevinwasinthesamepositionasbefore,buthisterrorseemedtohavewhittleddowntogrimacceptance.Hethoughthewasgoingtodie.
Juddstoodinfrontoftheman.“I’mgoingtoremovewhattheyputin.Thechoicesyoumakefromthenonwillbeyourown.”
Thehyena’sheadsnappedup,movingblindlyinthedirectionofJudd’svoice.“You’renotgoingtokillme?”
“Nottoday.”Juddwentbehindthemale.Lowershields,hesaidtelepathically.Itwasthefirstinalonglistofcommandstheprogrammerscouldhaveused.Buthehadnoneedtogoanyfurther—Kevin’stoughchangelingshieldsdisappearedasifbymagic.ThecrueltyofwhoeveritwasthathaddonethiswasbeyondanythingJuddhadeverseen.TheyhadleftthechangelingwideopentoanyPsywhokneworcouldguessthecodewords.
Onceinside,Juddbegantocheckthestructureoftheprogramming.Theworkwaseffortless—notonlywasheastrongtelepath,he’dbeentrainedintheverytechniquesthathadbeenusedonKevin.Thoseskillstoldhimthatthebindingwascrude,doneinhaste.Clearly,theCouncilwasn’tworriedaboutfailure.Thenagain,whyshouldtheybe?WhileotherPsymightbeabletogetintoKevin’smind,onlyaPsywithaveryspecificskillsetcouldundotheoriginalprogramming.
Afewminuteslater,hewasabouttoresetthecompromisedneuralpathwayswhenhesawit.ABlackKey.Atinypieceofpsychiccodethatwouldkickinthesecondhebeganthereset.Kevinwoulddiefromamassiveaneurysminlessthanaminute.
Hewithdrewbeforecarefullyretracinghissteps.FinallysatisfiedtheBlackKeywasthesinglecontingency,hespenttenminutesdeactivatingandremovingit.Thenhecleanedhouse.Kevin.
“Yes.”Thevocalizationwasdistant—thehyenaremainedinthetranceinitiatedbythecodewords.
Yourmindisnowfree.Asofthismoment,youwillnotrespondwhenaskedto“lowershields.”Doyouunderstand?
“Yes.”
Awareofthewolveslookingon,bemusedatwhatappearedtothemtobeaone-sidedconversation,JuddcheckedforanyfurtheractivationphrasesthenrepeatedhisinstructionseveraltimestoensurecomprehensionbeforegivingKevintheordertowakewithfullmemoryofwhathadtakenplace.
Thehyenaimmediatelybentdouble,dry-retching.Juddlookedatthenearestsoldier.“Getaglassofwater.”
D’ArnobeyedwithoutlookingtoIndigo.WhenthesoldierreturnedandwenttolowerKevin’sblindfold,heglancedatJudd.Understanding,Juddsteppedbackintotheshadowsoncemore.
Indigowaiteduntilthehyenawasnolongershakingbeforeaskinghimtotellthemeverythingheknew.
Kevinwasabletosharedetailsofthreeotherplannedattacks.ToJudd’smilitarymind,itwasobviousthatthePineWoodleaderhadmadenoefforttokeepalidonthedetails.He’dknownabout,andrelied,ontheprogrammingtoensuresilence.
“Ithinktheremightbemore.”Kevinsoundedbroken,lost.“I’llseeifIcanfindoutanything.”
Juddwasnochangelingbutheunderstoodwhythehyenawassodistraught.Hierarchywasimportantinchangelingpacksandthathierarchyreliedontrust.WhatParrishhaddonewasobliterateKevin’ssystemforunderstandinghowtheworldworked.ItwasthesamepsychologicaltraumathathaddestroyedsomanyyoungchildrenatthedawnofSilence.Thetransitionalchildren—thoseundersevenyearsofageatthetimeoftheProtocol’simplementation—hadbeentaughttodevaluelove,warmth,touch,everythingthatmadethemfeelsafe.Morehaddiedthansurvived.
“Don’tputyourselfindanger,”IndigotoldKevinnow.“Withwhatyou’vegivenus,wecanshutdownthisoperation.Howmanyinyourpack?”
“Ahundredbutthatincludestheoldandtheveryyoung.”Hecoughedacoupleoftimes.“There’saboutfortyable-bodied.ThePsydidn’tbothertotalktotheothers.”
“Notmany.”ShelookedoverKevin’shead,towardJudd.“Canyouhandleit?”AtJudd’snod,IndigoreturnedherattentiontoKevin.“Howstableisyourpack?”
“Good.IfyoutakeoutParrish,MahalorLou-Anncanstepin.”Hisvoiceheldacceptanceofhisleader’simpendingdeath.“Idon’tknowifthey’reinonit.”
“Don’tworryaboutthat,we’llfigureitout.”IndigoraisedaneyebrowatJudd.“Couldbethey’veallbeenbrainwashed.”
“Itcould.”However,heconsidereditunlikely,giventhecrudenatureoftheprogramming.TheCouncilhadn’tspenttoomuchtimeonthis.“WhowerethePsywhoprogrammedyou?Weretheywearinguniforms?”
“No.Suitsliketherestofthem.”Kevindidn’tattempttolookoverhisshoulder.“Ididn’tseeanyonewhoseemedreallyimportant.Nothingstandsout.”
Juddwouldhavebeensurprisedtohearotherwise.“Anynamesmentioned?”
“NotthatIcan—”Thehyenapaused.“Wait.IwalkeduponParrishoncewhilehewasonthephone.Hesaidhecouldn’tchangethingswithoutDuncan’sauthorization.”
Brennafeltunexpectedlyfreshthemorningafterheremotionalbreakdown.Itwasasifthetearshadreleasedsomethingtoxicthathadbeenbrewinginsideofher,settingherfree.Addedtothat,Juddhadmessagedhertoletherknowhehadn’tyetreturnedtotheden.Shegrinned.TheManofIcewaslearning.
Walkingoutofherapartment,sheheadedofftofindHawke.Shehadworktodo—shehadn’tforgottenthatTim’skillermightbegunningforherandshewasn’tgoingtoputabull’s-eyeonherback,butneitherwasshegoingtoletthatpieceofscumdictatehermovements.
Hawkeraisedaneyebrowwhenshehuntedhimdowninoneoftheworkoutrooms.“Thatlookspellstrouble.”Hisentireupperbodywasdrenchedinsweat,buthisbreathingremainedsmooth.Healthyandmuscled,hewasquitebeautifulinaverymasculineway.
Shewaswomanenoughtoappreciatehim,butwithoutwantingmore.“IpromisedDarkRiverI’dhelpthemhackintothePsydatabases.Canyouassignmeanescortdowntotheirheadquarters?”Becauseshewasn’tasoldierandshecouldn’tfightlikeone.
“Theydecidedtosetupspecialuntraceableequipmentforit.”Hepickedupatowelandwipedoffhisface.“Shouldbereadybytomorrow.YouwanttogohelpSaschainstead?”
Brennashookherhead.“Shesaidshedoesn’tneedmetilllater.Rightnow,thedeeraretootraumatizedtoacceptmypresence.”
“Makessense.I’vegotameetingthatwaytomorrow—youcanhitcharidewithme,”hesaid,slingingthetowelaroundhisneck.“I’vealreadygotSnowDancerguardssortedandDarkRiverhasthewholeplaceunderwatch,too.”
“Trustingthecats,Hawke?”sheteased.
Hesnorted.“LikeIsaid,I’llhavemyownmenthere.”
Relievedhehadn’tstoodinherway,shewasabouttoheadbacktoherroomwhenHawke’sphonebeeped.Sinceitwasclosertoher—onthefloorwiththesweatshirthe’dstrippedoffduringtraining—shepickeditupandhandedittohim.Itwasn’therintentiontolistenin,buthemotionedforhertostay.
TheconversationwasshortandendedwithHawkesaying,“You’vetrackeddownthepack?”Apausefilledwiththemostlethalanger.“Thendoittoday.Wedon’tknowwhatelsetheymighthavebeenprogrammedtodo.”
“Dowhat?”Brennaaskedafterhe’dhungup.
“Judd’snotgoingtogetbacktillafterdark,”hesaidinsteadofanswering.“Heaskedmetokeepaneyeonyou.”
Sheconcentratedonthefirstpartofhisresponse.“Whatdoeshedoforyou,Hawke?”Herheartwasablockofcoldstoneinherchest.
Hisfacewentdangerouslyneutral.“Idon’tknowifIlikeyourtoneofvoice.”Itwasareminderofwhohewas.
Butsheknewherstatus,too.“I’mnotajuveniletobeslappeddown.”Shefacedoffwithhim,eyetoeye.“Answermyquestion.WhatdoyouaskfromJuddinexchangeforgivingsanctuarytothekids?”
Hispaleeyesicedover.“JuddisafullytrainedPsyassassinwithexperienceincovertwetwork.I’dbeafoolifIdidn’tutilizehisskills.”
Shechokedbackacry.“Howcanyouaskthatofhim?”Analphalookedafterhisown.Hedidn’tdestroythem.ButmaybeHawkedidn’tconsidertheLaurenshisown.Afterall,andforreasonsshe’dneverknown,hehatedthePsyasmuchasherbrothersdid.
Hisfacegentled,anunexpectedsofteningofharshmasculinelines.Closingthedistancebetweenthem,hecuppedhercheek.“Heiswhoandwhatheis,Brenna.Ifyouwantsomethingdifferent,youshouldn’tbewithhim.”
“He’stheonlyoneIwanttobewith.”
“Thenaccepthisbeastlikeyoudoyourown.”
Hawke’swordswouldn’tleaveheraloneasshewentthroughtheday.ItwasdisturbingtothinkthatshemightbeaskingJuddtochangewhensheprofessedtowanthimforhimself.“ButaskinghimtobreakSilenceisdifferent,”shemutteredtoherselfasshescannedthedetailsofanotherofthejoboffersDr.Shahhadforwardedher.
IfJudddidn’tdismantletheconditioning,he’dcontinuetohurteachtimetheytouched,eachtimehefeltanythingforher.Howcouldarelationshipsurviveunderthatkindofpressure?“No,Brenna,behonest.”Shesighedandwenttothenextoffer.Whileeverythingshe’dthoughtsofarwastrue,therewasanothertruth—shewantedJuddtoholdher,toofferheraffection…toloveher.Aselfishneed.
Whatifacceptinghisbeastmeantdenyingtheneedsofherown?
Itmadeherheadache,especiallywhensheaddedinthefactthatherbeastdidn’trecognizeJuddashermate.Thematingbondwasconspicuousinitsabsence.“Enough.”Thinkingherselftoastandstillwasnotgoingtohelpmatters.Andifshedidn’tstopthinkingaboutJudd,she’dstarttospeculateaboutwhatitwashewasdoingtoday.
Covertwetwork.
Herstomachturned.Ifhecametoherwithhandsdippedinblood,wouldsheaccepthim?Herfingerstrembled.Shehadnoeasyanswerstothatquestionandthatshookher.Takingadeepbreath,sheforcedherselftopayattentiontothenextofferonthelist.ItwasfromacorporationnamedSierraTech.
SheknewalotaboutST—SnowDancerwasthemajorityshareholder,atsixtypercent.DarkRiverheldtwentyandahumanconglomeratenamedDekelltheothertwenty.STwasofferingheragreatpackageandherwolfwouldprefertoworkforthepack.NotthatallSTemployeeswerewolves.Itwasconsideredaplumcompanytoworkforbyscientistsandtechsacrosstheglobe.TheonlyreasonSThadnoPsyemployeeswasthatitcompeteddirectlywithseveralCouncil-backedlabs.
SierraTechwenttothetopofherlist,butshehadn’tmadeherdecision.Hercurrentframeofminddidn’texactlylenditselftothetask.Evenwhenshefinishedlookingovertheoffersandmovedontorepairsomesmallcommmalfunctionsforpackmates,hermindremainedchaotic.Lunchanddinnercameandwent,butshehadnoanswertoherownuncomfortablequestion.
WouldsheholdJuddifhecametoherafterutilizinghisskillsasanassassin?
Shewenttobedmentallyexhaustedbutwokeafteronlyafewhoursofdisruptedsleep…becauseshecouldsmellJudd’sscentinherquarters.Gettingoutofbedstillhalf-asleep,shesawitwasfoura.m.Shewalkedoutwearingthesatinslipsheusedashernightgown,herfeetbare.
“Judd?”Forasecond,shecouldn’tlocatehim.Thenhernightvisionkickedinandshefoundhimseatedinanarmchairclosetothecoffeetable.
Hewaswatchingher,hisentirebodymotionless.Itdidn’tstrikeherthatsheshouldbeafraidorevenwary.Yawning,shewalkedoverandsatonhislap,curlingherbodyintothearmchair.Hisarmscamearoundherwithouthesitation,onehandcurvingaroundhershoulders,theotherslidingtocloseoverthebareskinofherupperthigh.
Thesensualcontactbroughthertofullwakefulness.Wrappingherarmsaroundhisneck,shenuzzledathisthroat.“Areyouokay?”
Hishandshiftedtoslidebetweenherthighs,surprisingashockedfemininesoundoutofher.“Judd?Baby?”Somethingwaswrong.Withachangelingmale,shewould’veletherbodysoothehim,usedtouchtoconnect.ButJuddwasPsy…andhers.Atthatmoment,sheknewtheanswertothequestionthathadtormentedherallday—shewouldholdhim,accepthim,nomatterwhat.
Thatwaswhatmatesdid.
Shedidn’tcareiftherewasnobond—noonewasgoingtotellhershewasn’tmeanttobewiththisman.“Whatdoyouwant?”sheasked,butheremainedsilent.Decidingtoletinstinctguideher,shesoftenedforhim.
Hisotherhandtangledinherhair,tiltingherheadbackinasharpmove.Shewentratherthanresist.Awomanwholovedadominantmalehadtoknowwhentobend…andwhentobite.Hislipscrushedhers,hishandsqueezingherinnerthigh.Moaningintothekiss,sheopenedhermouth.Hedidn’twaitforanymorepermission,ravagingherwithasensualfurythathadhertryingtopressevencloser
HerbodycravedJudd.Shehadnodesiretobackoff,perhapsbecauseshehadn’thadtimetobeafraid,orperhapsbecauseshecouldfeelthehungerinsideofhim,ahungeronlyshecouldassuage.
Hebitatherlowerlip.Shebitback.
Hisbackmuscleswererockhardunderherpalmsasshesplayedherhandsandluxuriatedintheunrestrainedmasculineheatofhim.“No,”sheprotestedwhenhebrokethekisstorunhislipsdownherjawandoverherneck.Shetuggedathishair.Henippedatherneckinreprimand.Somethingmeltedbetweenherlegsandwhenhestrokedhishandfarthernorth,shewantedtourgehimtogofaster.
Hecuppedher.Strong.Bold.Possessive.
Shefeltherclawsthreatentorelease,sparksshootingbehindhertightlyclosedeyes.Andthenhebegantomassageherlikethat,whileherbodysimultaneouslytriedtogetcloserandwritheaway.Hersliprodeupandherbottomcameincontactwiththehardridgeofhiserection.
Awhisperoffearflutteredinherbelly.
Butherpantiesweregone,tornoffherandohGodhewastouchingherskintoskinandhisfingerswererubbingattheentrancetoherbodyand—Cryingout,sheorgasmedwithanalmostpainfulclampingofinternalmuscleslongunused.Sheburiedherfaceinhisneckandheheldhertherewithhishandonhernapeashecoaxedmoreandmorepleasureoutofherbody.
Thescentofhimcoatedhertongueuntilshelickedathim,takingthesalt/ice/manscentinside.Slowly,theorgasmturnedintoabuzzofsensualheat,leavinghersated.Murmuringherpleasure,sherelaxedbackintoherearliercurled-uppositionandopenedhereyes.Atfirst,shedidn’trealizewhatitwasshewasseeing.Whyweretherepiecesofwoodeverywhere?Anddidherkitchenbenchlooklopsided?
Judd’steethclampeddownonhershoulder,asifheknewhenolongerhadherundividedattention.Shejerkedup.“Judd.Judd!”Shetuggedathishair.
Hisanswerwasanexplosionoftinytelekineticbitesinverysensitiveplaces.Herentirebodyarchedaspleasureshort-circuitedhernerveendings.Inthecornerofhereye,shesawthekitchenbenchcollapse,givingonefinalgroanofcreakingdistress.Andthenallshecouldhearwereherowngaspingbreaths.
Bythetimeshecamebackdownthistime,shewaslyingcrosswiseinhislap,herslippuddledaroundherwaist,thestrapssnapped.Juddwasn’ttouchingherexposedflesh,justlookingatherbreastswithhungerthatwasclosetomadness.
Givingasob,sheplacedherarmstightaroundhimoncemore,eyeswideasshewatchedtheviolenceoverhisshoulder.“Stop.Please,baby,stop.”Smallpiecesofbrokenfurniturecircledtheroominasavagestorm.“Judd,darling.”CHAPTER31
Hisentirebodyshuddered.“Brenna.”Itwasarawsoundstrippedofhisusualcontrol.
“Yes.”Shehuggedhimharder,herbreastscrushedagainstthecoolsoftnessofhisleather-synthjacket.“I’mhere.”
“DidIhurtyou?”
Hurther?“Youpleasuredme.”Theexquisiteheatofitcontinuedtospiralthroughher.
Hewithdrewhishandfrombetweenherlegsandshehadtofighthermoan.“Baby,thefurniture…”Thepieceshadn’tstoppedflying.
Oneofhisarmsremainedclampedaroundherbackasheraisedhishead.“Criticalbreach.”Hewasbeginningtosoundclosetonormal.“Powersentoutwardinsteadoffocusingonyou.”
“Youdidn’thurtme,”sherepeated.“Evenoutofcontrol,youdidn’thurtme.”
“Notthistime.”Thebrokenpiecesoffurniturebegantosettleonthefloor.
Shepulledback,wantingtomeethiseyes.Theyweredark,devoidofthosesparksofgold.“Whathappened?”Hewasnevergoingtobelievehewouldn’thurther—she’dhavetorelyontimetofixthat.“Talktome.”Brushingthehairoffhisforeheadwithonehand,shepulledupherslipwiththeother.
Hiseyesfelltowheresheclutchedtheslipperymaterialabovethecurveofherbreasts.“Youneedtogetdressedfirst.”
Shemighthavearguedwithhimiftheruinsofthebenchhadn’tchosenthatinstanttocompactwithagroan,sendingupdustshecouldtaste.“I’llbequick.”Wrigglingoffhislap,sheblushed.“You’restill—”
“Go.”
Shewent.Sometimes,discretionreallywasthebetterpartofvalor.DroppingtheslipandpullingonapairofsweatsandaT-shirttookmaybetwominutes.Sheranbackout.“Oh!”
Juddhadturnedonthelightandalreadycleanedupmostofthemessusinghistelekineticabilities.Asshewatched,thelastbrokenpiecessettleddownintoaneatpilebythedoor.“I’llreplaceeverything.”
“I’mnotworriedaboutthat.”Walkingover,shefoughttheurgetotouchhim.Hewasallcoiledmuscleandintensity.Dark.Dangerous.
Takehimasheis.
Herspinestraightened.“Nowtellmewhathappened.”
HistonewasflatashetoldheraboutthePineWoodpack.“Wewentin,cleanedouttheirden.Anumberofthemwerecompromised—Ihadtoundotheprogramming.”
Relievedhehadn’tbeenforcedintousinghismorecovertskills,sheblewoutabreath.“There’snoneedforyoutobeatyourselfupaboutthat.Youdidsomethinggood.”
“It’snotthat.”Abeadofsweatrolleddownhistempleandsherememberedthepain.Thedissonance.Butbeforeshecouldspeak,hetoldhertherest.“Whatourcontactdidn’tknowwasthatthePsyhadattemptedtoplacecommandsonimmatureminds,too.”
“Children?”Hervoiceshook.“Theytriedtodothattobabies?”Shewantedtoburyherheadinthesandandnotheartherestofwhathehadtosay—she’dalmostdiedafterhavinghermindraped.Andchildrenweresomuchweaker.“Howmany?”
“Onediedbeforewereachedtheirden.”Hischeekbonesstoodoutlikebladesagainsthisskin.“Iwasabletoremovetheprogrammingontheothersbuttwoaredamaged.Theirbrainscouldn’thandlethepressureandbatteredthemselvesbloodytryingtogetout.”
“Oh,Judd.”Shecouldfeelhishurtinsideherself.“Therewasnothingyoucouldhavedone.”
Anotherbeadofsweat,theonlyindicatoroftheamountofpainhehadtobein.“Therewasnoreasonforthemtomesswiththechildren’sminds.Noreason.Theyweretooyoungandweaktoprovideassistanceintheplot.Itwasdoneasamessage.”
Themostvisceralkindoffuryexplodedinher.“They’vecrossedtheline.But”—shestaredhimintheeye—“youhaven’t.”
“Iknow.”
Startled,shesnappedhermouthshut.“Thenwhy…?”Shewavedherarmsattheruinofherlivingroomandkitchen.
“Don’tyourecognizeragewhenyouseeit?”
“Oh.”Shewasn’tsurewhattosaytothatbluntadmission.“You’vebrokenSilence?”Somethinginhersaiditcouldn’tbethateasy.
Hisnextwordsprovedit.“IfIhad,youwouldn’thavebeenabletobringmeback.”Hiseyestracedoverherbodyandthoughshewasdemurelycovered,shefelthernipplespeak,herthighspresstogether.“Icanstilltasteyouonmylips.”
Sheputahandonthewalltosteadyherself,certainherkneeswereabouttobuckle.“Youpushedyourangerintosex.”Burningitupwithoutcausingharmtolivingcreatures.
“Itwasn’tplanned.”Hecouldn’tseemtotakehiseyesoffherlips.“Iwasabouttoleaveyourhomewhenyouwalkedout.Ishouldhavenevercomehereinthefirstplace.”
“Ididn’tmind.”Heatintheair,sothickshecouldalmosttouchit.Hereyesdroppedtohiserection,hardandheavyagainsthisjeans.Shewantedtofeelhiminherhands,toexperiencemoreoftheanimalpassionhe’dshownhertonight.
Somethingsmashedtothefloor,joltingheroutoftheeroticfantasy.Hereyeswidenedassherealizedhe’dthumpedthearmchair—oneofthefewundamagedpiecesoffurnitureintheroom—hardontothefloor.
“Ineedtoleave.”Hepulledoutaphone,skinstretchedtightoverhisfeatures.
Itmadeherwonderifhewasastightlystretchedinotherplaces.
“Brenna.”
“Whynot?”Shemethisgaze.Stubborn.Needy.ChangelingtohisPsy.“Idon’tcareifyoudestroythewholeapartment.”
Hishandclenchedontheslimwidthofthephone.“Asthestateofthisroomshows,I’mnolongerlisteningtothedissonance.It’snotkeepingmeincheck.Allitwouldtaketokillyouwouldbeonemistakeintheheatofpassion.One.”
Thetautrestraintinhisvoicecuther.“Judd,Ineedyou.”Theyhadtofindawaypastthis.Shewassohungryshewasalmosttothepointwhereshewantedtocry.“IneedyourtouchandIneedtotouchyouinreturn.”
Acrackappearedinthecasingofthephoneinhishand.“Where’syourcommconsole?I’llcallsomeonetostandwatch—you’renotsafefromTimothy’sassailant.”
“No.”Shethrustahandthroughherhair,fingersshakingwithneedsuchasshe’dneverbeforefelt.Yes,changelingscravedtouch.Butthiswassomethingsoprimalitwasaclawinsideofher.“I’mawake.I’llstaythatway.I’llcallyouifanythinghappens.”
“Somebodyistryingtohurtyou.”Somethingnotwhollyonthesideoftheangelsmovedatthebackofhiseyes.
Shehadalreadydecidedshewasn’tgoingtorunfromwhathewas,butthatdidn’tmeanshewasgoingtosubmittohiseverywish.“Idon’tneedababysitterifI’mwide-awake.”Sheswallowed.“Go.Lookingatyoumakesmewant.”
Foratimelesssecond,itappearedhewouldn’tlisten.Thenheturnedonhisheelandleftevenasshereachedouttotouchtheoddglintofdarkredshethoughtshesawatthesideofhisface.“Oh,God.”Shefoughttheurgetocollapse,torageattheunfairnessofitall.Instead,shepusheduphersleeves,foundthevacuum-bot,switchedittomanual,andbegantocleanupthedustJuddhadn’tmanagetocorral.
Juddtouchedthewetnessnearhisjawandbroughthisfingersupinfrontofhim.Paleredstainedhisfingers.Hisfirstguesswasthathe’dbeencutbyapieceofflyingdebrisbutwhenhemovedtothemirroroverthesink,hediscoveredhismistake.
Thebloodhadleakedfromhisear.
Extremedissonance.
Hisbodywasliterallyfightingitself,theconditioninganditsattendantpaincontrolsslammingupagainsttheemotionsheshouldn’thavebeenfeeling.Hewipedawaythebloodanddidaninternalcheck.Therupturehadalreadyhealedover,hisbodyhavingautomaticallyutilizedthesametechniqueastheonethatmadehisscarsdisappear.
Butheknewitcouldn’tkeepupwithwhatwashappeninginsidehim.Soonerratherthanlater,he’dhavetoshutdowneveryfacetofemotion,everyglimmerofpassion.Becauseotherwise,hisbrainwouldlookexactlylikethoseofthehyenachildrenhe’dseen.
Bloody.Battered.Irrevocablybroken.
Severalhoursafterhercleaningfrenzy,Brennafoundherselfbad-temperedfromlackofsleep,lackoftouch,andasensualneedthatrefusedtoquit.Itprobablywasn’tthebestoftimesforhertobechartingahack,butshe’dmadeapromise.SohereshewaswithDorianinthesecondsubbasementofDarkRiver’sbusinessHQ.
Theblondsentinelhadgrowledatherseveraltimes,butshe’djustsnarledback.
“You’regoingaboutitass-backwards,”hesaidforthefourthtimeinanhour
Brenna’seyesnarrowed.“Thewholeplanistosneakin,notstampedesoloudlythateveryonefromthePsyCounciltoyouruncleinPoughkeepsiecanhearus.”
“WherethehellisPoughkeepsieanyway?”Dorianpushedintoherpersonalspace,standingwithhishandonherchairasheleanedoverhershouldertolookatthescreen.
Brennawasitchingforafightafterthefrustratednightshe’dhad.ButtherewassomethingshehadtotalktoDorianabout.“CanIaskyouaquestion?”
“What?”Hescowled,tappingatherscreenandthreateningtoshiftthepathwayshe’dmappedout.“Youshould’vegone—”
“Dorian.”
Hertonemust’vegottenthroughtohimbecauseheswungaroundtotakeaseatinthechairbesideher,swivelingsohefacedherprofile.“Whatisit,kid?”
Hewastheonlyonesheletgetawaywithcallingherthat—shehadguessedthatDorian,whohadlosthissistertoEnrique,sawherasanotherbabysister.Itwasthereasonheactedsobossywithher.Thatwasmorethanokaywithher,becausewhileDorianwashardtoread,ifhewasanythinglikeDrewandRiley,thenhissister’smurderhadtohavedevastatedhim,tearingintotheprotectivenessathiscore.
“First,Juddknowsbutthat’sall.Don’ttellanyoneelse,okay?”
Hissurfer-blueeyeswerepiercing.“Ican’tmakethatpromiseuntilIknowifit’llaffecteitherofourpacks.”
“Itwon’t.”Glancingoverhershouldertodouble-checkthatnoonewaslistening,sheturnedbacktotheDarkRiversentinelandsimplyaskedwhatsheneededtoknow.“Howdoyoudealwithnotbeingabletochangeintoanimalform?”
Dorian’sfacereflectedsurprise.“Mostpeopledancearoundthat.Likethey’reafraidofhurtingme.”Hisvoicesaidthatthatwasaridiculousworry.
“Pleasetellme.”Sheheldhisgaze.“Please,Dorian.”
Realizationdawned.“Oh,damn,sweetheart.Thatbastardmessedyouup,didn’the?”Reachingout,hestrokedahandoverherhair.“Howbad?”
Thegentlenessbroughttearstohereyes.“Icanusemyteethandclaws,butIcan’tshiftfully.Nolossofstrength,speed,orflexibility.”
Doriandroppedhishandtolieonthebackofherchair.“Igrewuplatent—Ineverhadanythingtolose.”Histonewasmatter-of-fact.“Butyou’redifferent.Areyousureit’spermanent?”
“Idon’tknowanything.ButIwanttopreparemyselffortheworst-casescenario.”Thatway,herheartcouldn’tbreakalloveragain.
“Alright.”Dorian’shandsomefeaturessettledintodecisivelines.“Thefirstthingyouhavetodoisstopfeelingsorryforyourself.”
Sheswallowedbutdidn’tdefendheremotions.Thiswaswhyshehadaskedhim.Dorianmightseeherasasister,buthewasthekindofbrotherwho’dgiveittoherstraight.
“Yousurvived,”hesaid,“andyouaren’tabasketcase.Youshouldbefuckingproudofyourself.Hetriedtocrippleyou,buthedidn’tsucceed.”
“No.Buthestolesomethingpreciousfromme…hestolemywolf.”
ThedepthofpaininthosewordsstoppedJuddinhistracks.He’draceddownhereafterdiscoveringBrenna’sabsencefromtheden,readytofacetheconsequencesoflastnight’scriticalbreach.Buthewasn’tpreparedforthis.ForaBrennawithtremblinghandsandawhisperofavoice.
Movingsoundlesslyoutofthedoorway,heleanedhisbackagainstthewallandhopedtheyweretoodistractedtoscenthim.Heknewheshouldleave,shouldallowherprivacy.Buthecouldn’t.Brennashould’veaskedDorian’sopinionwhileJuddwaswithher—butshehadn’t.BecauseJuddwasPsyandcouldn’tgivehercomfort.
Notonlyhadhenevertrulyunderstoodthestaggeringdepthofherlossatnotbeingabletoshift,he’dleftherintheearlymorninghourswhenshehadneededhimsodesperately.Howcouldheblameherforgoingtoanothermanforsuccor?Yethedid.
“Enriquestolealotfromyou.”Dorian’svoicecutthroughtheair.“Butyoucangetsomeofthatback.”
“How?”
“Buildonyourstrengths,Brenna.Becomesodamngoodatthosethingsthatnoonedarestoholdtheotheragainstyou.”
Goodadvice,Juddthought,hisfingerscurlingintofists.
“Okay.Okay.”Brennasoundedasifshewasputtingthatwillofherstogooduse.
“Anytimeyouneedme,justcall.Alright,kid?”
Judd’sfistsweresotight,hewasindangeroffracturinghisownbones.HeunderstoodwhyBrennahadneededtotalktoDorian.HeevenunderstoodthattheleopardsawBrennaasayoungsister,notapotentiallover.Noneofthatmadeanydifference.Juddwantedtobetheonesheturnedtowheninneed.
Icepicksofpainshovedthroughhisskull,dissonancesoviciousitnearlyshutdownhisconsciousness.Thecountdownwasgettinginexorablyclosertotheend.Uncurlinghisfingerswithsheerforceofwill,hewatchedthebloodrushbackin.Lastnighthadmadeitclearthathe’dalreadycrossedtoomanylines,brokentoomanyrules.Soon,itwouldbetoolatetodrawback.
“Thankyou,Dorian.”
No,hewouldnotpullback.Brennawashis.Histopleasure.Andhistocomfort.Squaringhisshoulders,hesteppedintothedoorway.CHAPTER32
DorianandBrennabothlookedup.He’dexpectedsurpriseandperhapsfluster,butBrenna’sfacereflectedanexpressionhecoulddefineonlyasrelief.Gettingupoffherchair,shepressedherbodyintohis,buryingherfaceagainsthischest.“Youneedtoholdme.”
Hecouldfolloworders,especiallywhentheyweregiveninafamiliarfemalevoicehidingatremor.Raisinghisarms,hewrappedthemaroundherbody.Shedidn’tseemtomindbeingcrushed,herownarmsholdingontighter.
Dorian’seyesmethisoverthetopofherhead.Theleopardhadaninscrutablelookonhisface.ButwhenJuddinclinedhisheadinthanks,Dorianreturnedthegesture.
AfterescortingBrennabacktothedensometimearoundthreeintheafternoon,JuddlefttohelpSaschawiththedeer.Brennahaddecidedtostaybehindbecauseshehadaviralproblemtofigureout,buthertornloyaltieswereobvious.
“Yourworkisimportant,”hetoldher.“WeneedtostrikeattheCouncil’sheart.”
“Iknow.”Sheflashedasmile.“Butthanksforsayingitanyway.”
HeleftherhunchedoverherpersonalcomputerandspenttherestofthedayfeedingSaschapower.Whenitbecameclearhewouldn’tmakeitbacktothedenbeforedawnthenextday,herangRiley.“Keepaneyeonher.Thestalker’sbeenquiet,buthe’soutthere.”
Rileymadeasoundofagreement.“She’snotgoingtolikeit.”
“Doyoucare?”
“Icareaboutkeepingheralive.”Apause.“I’mcheckingoutthesoldiers.”
“Anyindicationwhoitmightbe?”
“Notyet.”Riley’stoneheldbothfrustrationandpurefocus.“DowhatyouhavetodotohelpDawnSky.I’lltakecareofBren.”
Juddendedthecall,hismindonthekillerandtheconcordantthreattoBrenna.Itmadehimevenmoredeterminedtoreturntothedenassoonaspossible.However,becauseofthenumberofvictims,hedidn’tmakeitbackuntilaftereightthenextmorning.Hewastiredbutnotdrained—becauseSaschawashavingtoworkveryslowly,thedrawonhispsychicstrengthhadbeensteadybutnotintense
ManyoftheDawnSkychildrenwereclosetocatatonic.Severalhadseentheirparentsbeingtornup.Oneyoungboyhadbeentrappedunderthebodyofhisdyingmother;anotherhadtriedtoprotecthissiblings,onlytogethischestcarvedopen.He’dsurvived,hismindstrong.Others…otherswerebroken.Thehealingprocesswasgoingtobealongone,butJuddhadpledgedhimselftoit.
Thatthoughtinmind,heheadedtohisroomtowashupbeforegoingtoBrenna.Notseeingherwasn’tanoption.Hemadeittoherapartmentafewminutesafternine.Butwhenheenteredherquarters—she’dkeyedhimin—hefoundnotBrenna,butanotepinnedtothenewkitchenbenchshehadputtogetherusingathickplankandprecisetowersofsyntheticbricks.Smart.
ThenotewasshortandveryBrenna.Leftbeforedawntogousemyotherdegree.Havebodyguardssodon’tworry.Bebackwhenthework’sdone.Getsomesleep.Bren.
Puttingthepieceofpaperinhispocket,hecalledthroughtoDarkRiverHQtoconfirm.ItwasClaywhoanswered.“She’sinthebasementwithDorian.Andrew’swithher.Riley’sgonetokeepwatchonthehealersdoingthephysicalnursing.”
Somuchforthesiblingskeepingtheirdistancefromeachother.Giventheircloseness,he’dknownitwouldbedifficult.“Thanks.”Hangingup,heusedtelekinesistogetridofthedebrisbythedoor,teleportingitdiscreetlyintooneofthelargerecyclerskeptinacorneroftheundergroundgarage.
Thatdone,hedecidedtobowtoBrenna’sorderandcatchsomesleep.Thelesssleephehad,theworsehismentaldegradationwouldget.Buthe’donlybeenasleepforthreehourswhenhewoke.Somethingwaswrong.Partsofhisbrainhe’dneverseenactiveweresparkinginawareness.AndthosesparkstastedlikeBrenna…andterror.
HecalledClay.“Whereisshe?”
“Sheleftclosetotwohoursago.Shewasridingwithherbrothers.”
Twohourswasn’tenoughtimetoreturntothedenunlessthey’dflooredtheaccelerator.“Whydidtheyleave?”
“Somethingaboutanurgentcall.Everythingokay?”
“Yes.”Hehungup,stillconvincedsomethingwaswrong.IfthecallhadbeenurgentenoughtopullBrennaawayfromsomethingsoimportant,theywouldhavepushedtheirvehicletothelimitandarrivedbynow.HetriedtocallBrenna’scellphone,butnoonepickedup.
Getoutsidethewalls.
Itwasacommandfromthatnewlyawakenedsectionofhisbrain.Helistened.Thesecondheexitedtheden,thosefiringsparksturnedintoafirestorm.ItwasasthoughhecouldfeelBrennascreaming.Shuttingdowneverythingelse,heconcentratedonfollowingthatoddpsychicecho.Theinstanthehadalink—aninexplicablelink—hebeganrunning.Hefoundthemtwentyminutesfromtheden,nocarinsight.
Roadlikelyblockedinsomewaytheycouldn’tclear.Forcedthemtoproceedonfoot.Ambush.
CoolArrowcalculationsinadarkcornerofhismindashetookinthescene:Andrewlayontheground,RileyandBrennaontheirkneesoneithersideofhim.ItwasimmediatelyclearthatthefallenSnowDancerwasn’tbreathing.HispulsewasalsoabsentwhenJuddplacedhisfingersagainsttheotherman’sthroat—notsurprising,giventhesizeoftheholeinhischest.
Brennashook,lookingtohimwitheyesgonewildwithgrief.“Judd.”Theclothingontherightsideofherbodywasdirtiedwithmuddyslush,herfaceslightlyscratched.
Standing,Brenna’sheadreachedjustoverAndrew’sheart.Puttingtogetherthevisiblefacts—Andrew’swound,thedirtonher—Juddreconstructedthesceneinmilliseconds.ThebullethadbeenaimedforBrenna’shead.Andrewhadsenseddangeratthelastmomentandshovedasidehissister.He’dsavedherlife,buthadn’tbeenfastenoughtododgethebullethimself.
HesawRileydoingCPRandknewthatthatwouldn’tbeenough.Andrew’sheartwasobviouslyshattered,thesniper’sbullethavinghititattheexactspottocausemaximumdamage.Hecouldn’tfeelanexitwound,whichmeantthebullethadtobelodgedwithinthemangledflesh.JuddtouchedBrenna’scheekinafleetingcaress,hismindgoingatahundredmilesanhour.“Stop,Riley.”
Rileyraisedafacestrainedwhite.“Wehavetokeepgoing.”
Juddputahandontheotherman’sshoulder.“Hisheartisdamaged.Ineedtofixit.”Hehadneverdoneanythinglikethis,neverevenconsideredthathecould.Hisjobwastostophearts,notrepairthem.Butheknewthefinestdetailsofhowtheorganfunctioned—todestroyyouhadtoknowhowthingsworked.“Breatheforhimbutdon’ttouchhisheart.”
Rileydidn’targue.“Doit.”
ThefirstthingJudddidwassendaTkshocktoAndrew’sshatteredheart,startingitagain,hopefullyintimetokeephisbrainalive.AsRileybenttoblowbreathintohisbrother’slungs,JuddusedTktokeepthatheartbeatgoing.ThenhebeganpicturingwhatneededtohappentothedestroyedcellsforAndrew’shearttobeatonitsown.
He’dhavetoreconstructthedamagedsectionfromthecellularlevelup,puttingtheSnowDancer’sheartbacktogetherlikethemostintricateofjigsawpuzzles.Theproblemwas,someofthepiecesweremissingortoodamagedtofunction.Newpieceswouldhavetobecreatedfromsomewhere.Juddwasn’tanM-Psy,buthecouldmovethings,makethemchangeshape…smoothoverscarsbymanipulatingthecells.Achild’strickgivennewpurpose.
Atnopointduringtheoperationdidhestopthinking.Hehadtobeabsolutelycorrectabouttheprecisedegreeofeachandeverycellularmovement.OnemistakeandAndrew’sheartwouldnotbeatafterJuddstoppedmakingitbeat.ThatwasanoutcomeJuddcouldn’taccept…becauseitwouldn’tbeonlyAndrew’sheartthatwouldbreak.
AslenderhandclaspedhisshoulderatsomestageandheknewitwasBrenna.Hertouchshouldhavedestabilizedhim,butitdidtheopposite.Itanchoredhim.Anabnormalreactionhe’dhavetoconsiderlater,whenhismindhadroomforthoughtsotherthanthemethodicalrepairofaheartthathadbeenblowntopieces.
“Jesus,”HawkewhisperedfrombesideBrenna,somanyhourslaterthatthelightwasstartingtofade.ThealphaandseveralothershadarrivedsoonafterJudd—she’dsomehowgatheredenoughcalmtocallthedenusingRiley’sphone.Herslayforgotteninthecar.
SheknewwhathadcausedHawke’ssurprise.TheycouldliterallyseeDrew’sskinshifting.Atfirst,ithadseemedanillusion,butthenshe’drealizedherbrother’shorrificwoundwasdisappearingsecondbyslowsecond.Fourhoursintoit,somethingmetallichadpushedupoutofthewound.Thebullet.
Fingerstrembling,BrennahadtakenitassoonasitrolledfreeandhandedittoHawke,who’dwrappeditinapieceofclothtornfromtheshirtheworeunderhisjacket.Thathadbeenanhourago.Juddhadn’tspokenorlookedawayfromwhathewasdoingtheentirefive-hourstretch,RileyhadkeptbreathingforDrew,andBrennahadheldontoJudd,instincttellingheritwastherightthingtodo.
JuddsuddenlyliftedhishandsfromAndrew’schest.“Riley,move.”Hisvoicewasrough,holdingtherustofdisuse.
Rileybrokecontactandabareinstantlater,Drew’sbodyjerkedasifanelectricshockhadpassedthroughit.Brennagrittedherteeth,knowingthatJuddhadjusttriedtorestartherbrother’sheartafterstoppingwhateveritwashe’dbeendoingtokeepitgoing.ButtherewassomuchbloodonDrew’schest!HerhandclenchedonJudd’sshoulder.Hereacheduptotouchherfingersforasecond,stainingthemdarkred.“Hisheartisbeatingonitsown.He’sbreathing.”
Disbelieving,shecamecloseenoughtotouchDrew’sneck.Hispulsebeatstrongandpowerful.Shaking,shepulledoutandusedtheedgeofherownshirttowipeawaytheblood.“Please.”Pleaselethimbesafe.
Rileywasthefirsttoseeit.“It’sgone.”
Thenshesawitwithherowneyes.Thewoundhadceasedtoexist.Undertheblood,Drew’sskinwaspinkandtenderbutitwasunbroken.Sheturnedtothemanbyherside.“Judd,oh,myGod.”
Hedidn’tseemtobeabletofocusonher.Hiseyeshadgoneblackatthestartthenslidbacktonormalneartheend.Now,theywereclosetodazed.Worried,shepulledbackfromDrew.“Baby,what’swrong?”Puttingherhandsonhischeeksbeforesherealizedshehadbloodonthem,sheleanedclose.“Judd,speaktome.”
“Flameout.”Asinglewordandthenhiseyeswentpureblackagain,thewhitesdisappearingasbefore.Exceptthisdarknessheldtingesofbloodred.Itterrifiedher.Sheexpectedhimtofallunconsciousbutheshookhishead.“Onehour.”
“Onehour.”Sherememberedhisdisappearanceafterhe’dteleportedherduringthehyenasituationandmadetheconnection.Hehadtobeinasafeplacewithinthehour.“Okay,okay.”
Andrewcoughedatthatsecondandsheswitchedherattentionbacktohim,awareofJudddoingthesame.Afterafewmorecoughs,herbrother’slashesliftedtodisplayfamiliarblueeyes.“Whatthehellhappened?”
Sobbing,shekissedhischeek.Hestruggledtoraisehisarmstoholdherbutdidn’tseemtohavethestrength.“Hey,sweetheart.Comeon.”
“Youlostalotofblood.”Judd’svoice.“Fullrecoverywilltaketime.”
ShebrokeawayfromDrewtohugJudd.“Holdon,”shewhisperedinhisear,knowinghewouldn’twanttodisplayweaknessinfrontoftheothers.“Canyouwalk?”
Asmallnod,butshedidn’treallybelievehim,notwiththewayhisfacewaslosingcolor.Thiswasworsethanatthecabin.Shegottoherfeet.“Let’sgetthembothinside.”
Hercommentsnappedeveryonetoattention.Withinseconds,Drewwasloadedontoastretchersomeonehadhadtheforesighttofetch,andRileyandTaiwerecarryinghimofftotheden.Larahoveredanxiouslyathisside.Dismissingtheothermen,Hawkewentdownonhishaunches,threwJudd’sarmaroundhisshoulders,anddraggedhimupright.
“Tomyroom,”Brennadirected.
Hawkedidn’targueandnotmuchlater,Juddwasinthebedroom.Hesupportedhimself,onehandonthewall.“Noassistance.”
HawkelookedtoBrenna.“Isheserious?I’llhaveLarainhereassoonasshechecksDrewout.”
“No,”Juddsaidagain.
Shewantedhiminbed.“He’sstillconsciousandabletomakeadecision,”shesaidtoHawke.“Lethimrecoverinpeaceandhe’llbefine.”Ifnot,shewouldgetthemedicsherself.
Hawkescowled.“Ifyouneedanything,holler.”HeglancedatJudd.“Whatyoudidtoday—I’veneverseenanythinglikethat.Ididn’tthinkitwaspossible.Getsomerestandthenwe’lltalk.”Heleft.
BrennawastheonlyonewhoheardJudd’sreply.“Accordingtomytrainers,itisn’t.”Heswayedonhisfeet.
Sherushedtoholdhimup.“Inbed.Now.”
“Ineedtoshower.”
Abouttosayabsolutelynot,sherealizedhewascoveredinsweatandblood.Itwouldhardlymakeforarestfulsleep.Helpinghimintothecubicle,shebegantotugathisclothes.Hestoppedherwithahandonherwrist.“No.”
Shewasreadytopushhimoffwhenshesawthelookonhisface.Puremalepride.“Fine.”Shesighed.“ButifIdon’thearfromyouinfiveminutes,I’mcomingin.”
Walkingout,shekepteveryoneofhersensesonhighalertassheturneddownthebedandwhippedupahigh-energydrinkfromamixDrewoftenused.Theshowerturnedoffafterexactlyfourminutes.
Bythetimeshegotbackintothebedroom,Juddwasasleep.Puttingdownthedrink,shebrusheddamphairoffhisforehead,thetendernessinherheartoverwhelming.“God,Iloveyou.”Shekissedhistempleandforaseconditfeltlikesomethinginhimresponded.Buthewasoutcold.
Shakingherhead,shegotupandbegantopickuptheclotheshe’dleftcrumpledonthefloorinwhatstruckherasaveryuncharacteristicbitofmessiness.
Ironically,DrewwasupandaroundbeforeJudd.Hecameknockingtwelvehourslater,justaftershe’dfinishedbreakfast—abitofamisnomer,asshehadn’tactuallyslept,tooworriedaboutJudd.Hewasinsuchadeepsleep,shekeptcheckingtoseeifhewasbreathing.“Howareyoufeeling?”
“Fantasticforaguywhoapparentlyhadhalfhischestblownoff.”
Shewascarefulwhenshehuggedhim,awaretherepairedwoundhadtohurt.“Drew,youstoodinfrontofthatbulletforme.”Ithadhappenedsofastshestillcouldn’tsortoutthesequenceinherhead.
Helaughed.“Imeanttopushyouinfrontofit.Damn.”
“Idiot.”Sniffling,shebrokethehug.“Iloveyou.”
“That’swhatbabysistersarefor.”Heopenedhisfisttorevealthebulletshe’dpickedoffhischest.“Doyouknowthenameofthislittlepieceofevil?”
Hergutroiledatthesightofthattwistedpieceofmetal.“No.”
“ShrapnelX.Illegalashell.”Hisexpressionwaspurefury.“It’smeanttospreadintofivesharppointsonimpactandclawitswaythroughanythingittouches.”Heputitintoapocket.“Whichmakesmeawalkingmiracle.I’mtoldit’sthankstoyourboyfriend.”
“Sohe’smyboyfriendnow?”Averyimportantconcession.
Hescowled.“Don’trubitin.LarasaysI’mmissingsomefleshfromlowerdowninmychestandthat’sjustwhatwecansee—it’slikehemovedbitstofillinthegaps.”
“Hedid.”She’dseenithappeninfrontofhereyes.“Willyoubelopsided?”Shewastryingveryhardnottocry.AworldwithoutDrewtofightwithwasunimaginable.
Hehuggedheranyway.“Nah.It’llfillbackout.”Apause.“Probably.”Hisarmstightened.“So,whereishe?”
“Sleeping,”shesaidagainsthischest.“Andno,I’mnotwakinghim—he’sexhausted.I’msogladyou’reokay.”
Hecrushedhertohim.“Hell,I’mnotgoinganywhere.Needtostickaroundtomakesurehetreatsyouright.”
“Hewill.”Shesmiledandleanedbackenoughthatshecouldlookupathim.“Don’tjudgehimbyhisIceManpersona.He’sdifferent.”
“No,he’snot,sweetheart,”Andrewsaid.“IthinkJudd’sthesameasanywolfintheden—hesimplyhideshisanimalbetter.”
Comingfromachangeling,beingcalledananimalwasthehighestofcompliments.CHAPTER33
Juddwoketotherealizationofawarmfemalebodycurvedintohis,herbacktohischest.Hehadn’tputonanythingbeforecrashingandBrennawasonlywearingwhatfeltlikeathinslipthathadpushedupduringsleeptobareherlegsallthewaytothetop.Oneofhisarmswasbeingusedasapillow,whilethehandofhisotherlayonthesmoothnessofherupperthigh.Theirlegsweretangled,oneofhispushedbetweenhers.
Skin-to-skincontactallover.Butnotsomuchasahintofdissonance.
Hecheckedhisshieldsandfoundthemsecure.Hispowerreserveswereanothermatteraltogether.Hewastappedout.Whenheglancedatthetimelaser-projectedontothefacingwall,thecoloradeepgreen,herealizedwhy.Despitethedarkness,itwasjustafternoon—Brennahadlikelyturnedoffthesimulateddaylight.He’dsleptforseventeenhoursatmostandhispsychicabilitiesneededclosetotwenty-fourtoregenerate.However,physically,hefeltfine.Itdidn’tmakesense,buthewasn’tcomplaining.
Feelingveryaliveandverymale,hemovedhishandoverBrenna’sthigh.Shemurmuredandheatspikedinhisgut.Hewaitedforthepainresponsetokickinandpunishhimforbreakingconditioning.Itnevercame.Hishandclenchedonher.
“Judd.”Asleepycomplaint.
Hegentledhistouch.“Sorry.”Kissingthecurveofherneck,hewaitedforthepainagain.Nothing.“It’stiedtomyabilities.”Ofcourse.Thatwaswhythedissonancehadbeensoextreme,whyhe’dstartedtobleed.BecausethatwashowhisTkworked—byapplyingpressure.
“Whatis?”Shesoundedhalf-asleep.
“Thedissonance.”They’dusedhisownabilitiestopunishhim.Itmadeperfectsense—linkinghisabilitiesnegativelywithemotionreinforcedtheneedtorepudiatethatemotion,which,inturn,kepthistelekinesisfromgettingoutofcontrol.
Butnowhewaswipedout,whichmeantthatwhilethedissonancecontrolsstillexisted,therewasnothingforthemtodrawpowerfrom.Moreimportantly,untilhisabilitiesregenerated,hewasnodangertoBrenna.Hecouldtouchher,tasteher,loveher.Hewashardbeforethethoughtended.
Movinghishandupherthigh,hefeltthelaceedgeofherpanties,sodelicateunderhisfingers,butnotasdelicateasherskin.Slidingafingerunderthatedge,heranitdowntobrushhercurls.
“Judd!”Agasptofullwakefulness.“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Touchingyou.”
Herheadshiftedonhisarm.“Oh.”Awhisper.“Doesn’tithurtyou?”
“No.”Spreadinghisfingers,hecuppedherashehadoncebefore.
Shesqueakedoutacry.“Baby,youheardofforeplay?”
Hemightevenhavesmiledhadheknownhowtodoit.“I’mjustgettingstarted.”Theheatofherburnedhisskin.“I’vehadareallylongtimetoplan.”
“P-plan?”Shecoughedasiftoclearherthroat.“Whatdoyoumean—plan?”
Hepulledhishandoutofherpantiestorunhisfingeralongthewaistband,pushinguphisthighatthesametimetorubmoreintimatelyagainsther.Hiserectionthrobbedattheproximity.“IthoughtIshouldbepreparediftheopportunitytotouchyouwithoutdangerevercametopass.”
Herstomachmusclescontractedunderhispalm.“Isitadetailedplan?”
“Very.”Hebreathedinthescentatthecurveofherneck,thenkissed.
Sheshudderedandtriedtoturnbutheonlyallowedherhalfway,keepingtheirlowerbodiesintertwined.Thenhebracedhimselfononeelbowandsimplylookedather.Thisclose,thedarknesswasnobarriertohisvisualmappingofherfeatures.Hereyesglowedalittle,especiallytheflareofbluearoundthepupils.
Itfascinatedhim.“Beautiful.”
Shereacheduptotangleherhandinhishair.“Letmeturnproperly.”
Hepushedhisthighhigher,pressingintothedampheatofher.Hergaspwasbothstartledandinviting.Hemovedhisthighbackandforthacoupleoftimes.Hereyesflutteredshut.“Tease.”Itwasahuskyaccusation.
“Onthecontrary.Iintendtodeliver.”Hetuggedherhandfromhishairandnudgedherbackintoherpreviousposition,spooninghisbodyaroundher.
Shemadeadispleasedsound.“Ican’ttouchyouthisway.”
“Iknow.”TheycalledhimtheManofIce,butwhereBrennawasconcerned,hewasanythingbut.Ifshestrokedhim,hewouldn’tbeabletocompleteevenatenthofhisplan.Andforamanwho’dbeenhungryaslongashehad,aquickbiteheldnoappeal.Hewantedtolinger,togorge,toindulge.Withthatthoughtinmind,heranhishandbackunderherslipandoverthewarmsilkofherskin.“Isyourskinthissoftallover?”
Herheartthuddedunderhistouchashewenthigher.“Someplacesareevensofter.”
“Nowwho’sthetease?”Heranhisthumbalongtheundersideofonebreast.
Herhandclenchedonhisforearm.Kissingthesideofherneckoncemore,herepeatedthestrokingcaressbutwenthigher.Again.Higher.Hecouldfeelherholdingherbreathashelingeredjustbelowhernipple.
“Judd,please.”
Heflickedhisfingeracrossthetightlyfurledbud.Shecriedoutandaskedformore.Hedidn’tgiveittoher.Insteadheretreatedtodrawaslowcirclelowonhernavel.
“I’mgoingtokillyou.”
Hechuckledanditwasasoundhe’dneverbeforeheardcomefromhisownthroat.“Patienceisavirtue.”
Sheseemedabouttoreplybutthenhebeganretracinghispriorjourney,hisgoalherneglectedbreast.Shewentquiet.
Anticipationlingeredintheairandhewassosensitivetoitstouchhecouldalmosttasteit.Herskinflushedwithheat,herbreathingjagged.Andwhenhetouchedherbreast,therhythmofherheartturnedintoastaccatodrumbeat.Thistime,hedidn’tflickhernipplebutclosedhishandoverthefirm,hotriseofherflesh.“Yourbreastsmakemewanttobite.”
Shearchedintohishold,herhandsqueezinghisarm.“Doit.”Adare.Aninvitation.
“Notyet.”Thatwouldacceleratesomethinghewasdeterminedtodrawoutforever.“Iwanttosavormyfirstbite.”
Herclawsnickedhisskin.“Nomoreplaying.”
Hebitherneckinresponse,makinghertrembleandwithdrawherclaws.“Soimpatient.”Notgivingheranywarning,heslippedhishanddownandunderthewaistbandofherpantiesagain.Spearingthroughhercurls,hepressedhisthumbonherclitorisatthesametimeasheusedhisfingerstoteasethedampentrancetoherbody.
Shegaveastartledcryandthenherbodywenttaut.Liquidheatcoveredhisfingers,scentingtheairwithasharpwildness.Hecontinuedtostrokeherassheshudderedseveraltimesbeforeherbodywentsoftandsated.Eventhenhedidn’tstop,indulginghisneedtopetherwithlong,easymovementsasshelayquiescent.
Whenshefinallyattemptedtoturn,hewithdrewhisthighandlether,butkepthisfingerswheretheywere.Shenuzzledathisthroat,ranherfingersoverhischest.Itwasnolongeranoddfeelingforhimtobetouchedbyher,butthesexualcontextchangedthetoneofthecaresses,gavethemadifferentweight.Helikedtheresult.
“Wheredidyoulearnallthis?”shemurmured.“You’reavirgin.”
Healmosthalted.“Isupposeyou’reright,technicallyspeaking.”SexhadeffectivelybeenwipedoutbySilence.Oh,hisracehadcontinuedpracticingitforthesakeofprocreation—untiltechnologyhadmadethatunnecessary—butithadbecomeamechanical,passionlessact.Inthepresenttime,normalPsyconsideredsexanimpracticalandworthless“animal”exercise.Hisbrethrendidn’tvaluethebeautyofbondingwithanotherbeingonsuchanintimatelevel.
Brennawaskissingalineacrosshischest.“Technicallyspeaking?”
“I’mverygoodatresearch—somemightsayIwasobsessedwiththisparticulartopic.”Heslidhisfingersupandouttoresthishandonherabdomenonceagain.
Sheranherteethoverhisskin.“Exactlywhatkindofresearchdidyoudo?”
“AnArrowneverdivulgeshissources.”Usingthehandunderherheadtotangleinherhair,hekeptherinplaceasheclaimedadeepkiss.Sherespondedwithpleasurebutbelowthatwasastrangetensionthatheknewsheprobablywasn’tawareof.
Scarsfromtheabduction.
They’dtaketimetoheal.Hedidn’tallowhimselftothinkaheadtothemomentwhenhe’denterherbody.Thatwouldbethemostdifficultpart,connectedsoprofoundlywerethesensationswiththenightmare.“Doyouwanttobeontop?”heaskedagainsthermouth,recallingherlackoffearwhenshe’dstraddledhiminthearmchair.
“Willthatinterferewithyourmasterplan?”Shesmiledandhefeltratherthansawit.Herhandbegantoslidesouth.
Hepusheditbackup.“Thereisadegreeofflexibilitybuiltintotheplan.Butyoudon’tgettotouchmeyet.”
Asensualfemininelaugh.“I’mokay,baby.”Herhandsgrippedthesidesofhiswaist.“I’llletyouknowwhenIneedsomethingotherthanwhatyou’redoing.”
Soshewasawareofheranxiety,unsurprisingreally,givenherwill.“Don’tscratchtoohard.”
Anotherlaugh.“I’mnotthedangerousoneinthisbed.You’redrivingmecrazy,youknowthat.”
“Good.Myresearchtellsmethatthatismyjobasyourlover.Ihearpredatorychangelingwomenaretoughcritics.”
“Believeme,youhavenothingtoworryabout.”Shelickedattheskinofhisneck.
Breakingthecontact,hefithisbodyoverhers,alerttoherreaction.Shedidn’twithdraw,sohebracedhimselfononearmandbroughtthehandoftheotheruptocloseoverhersatin-coveredbreast.Shesuckedinabreath.Andwhenhenudgedatherwiththepainfulhardnessofhiserection,shedidn’thesitatetowrapherlegsaroundhim.“Kiss?”
Hefulfilledherrequest,alreadyaddictedtothetasteofher.Hismaleinstinctsbuckedatthereins,wantingtogoquicker,deeper,butheheldfast,helpedbytheveryskillsthatusuallykepthimcoldlydistant.Astheykissed,hemassagedherbreast,testingwhatmadehermoan,whatmadeherwriggle.Brenna,hediscovered,likeditwhenhewasfirminhistouch.Softcaressesjustmadehercomplainwithfeminineimpatience.
Hewasvery,verygladforhislover’spreference.Heknewhecoulddogentle—hehadthecontrolforit—buttonighthewantedtoloveherwitheverythinginhim.“Off,”heordered,pushingupherslip.Theplanhadcalledforthistocomelater,buthehadn’tfactoredintheseductionofthisparticularwomansolushandwelcomingbeneathhim.
Sheraisedherarmsandhepushedthematerialoverherbreastswitheveryintentionofpullingitoverherhead…butfoundhimselfunabletomoveanyfarther.Themoundsofherbreaststhrustupwardinpuretemptation,thenippleshardandtight.Hewantedtoseethemproperly.Notthinking,hetriedtouseTktoflickonalampbut,ofcourse,nothinghappened.
Reachingacross,hemanuallyturnedonthesmalllightintegratedintotheheadboard.Itemittedawarm,almosthazy,glow.Brennagaspedbutdidn’tsayanything,lettinghimdevourherwithhiseyes.Hernippleswereadarkstrawberrycolor,theuppercurvesofherbreastscreamy…butforascatteroffrecklesthattauntedhisanalyticalPsymindwiththeirwildabandon.
“Judd?”
Thethickdesireinhervoicewasthelaststraw.Dippinghishead,hesuckedonetightbudintohismouth.Herhandsgrippedhishairasherbodytwistedunderhimasiftoescape.Butwhenhereleasedthenippletoswitchhisfocustotheother,sheprotested.
Thesensationsinsidehimwerepurechaos.Fireandneedanderoticheat.Butblendingintothatdarkmalepassionwassomethinggentler,anemotionthatdidn’tdullthejaggededgesofhishungerbutwhichmadehimawareofBrenna’sreactionsonanalmostsubconsciouslevel.Tenderness.Itwasastrangefeeling.Soraw,sopowerful,andyetitengenderedthemostintensecare.
Helethernippleslideoutofhismouth.Shepulledhimback,buthewasmoreinterestedinrunninghisgazeoverthesheenofwetnessonherbreasts,wetnesshehadcaused.Asurgeofpossessivenessgrippedhimbythethroat.Yes,shewasmostdefinitelyhis.Spurredtoseemoreofherexoticfemalebody,sounashamedlycurvy,sodifferentfromhis,hedraggedthebunched-upslipupoverherheadandthrewitaside.
“Keepthemthere,”heorderedwhenshewould’veloweredherraisedarms.
Shecurledherfingersaroundthebarsintheheadboard,hereyeswatchinghimwithunconcealedinterest.Thepositionleftherentireupperbodyexposedtohisgazeandhetookblatantadvantage.Leaningin,heblewabreathacrosshernipples.Herbodyroseandfellinasweet,softwaveandsheheldontightertothethinmetalrods.
“It’stimeformybite,”hewarned.
“Oh,God.”
Thedesireinthatgroanmadehiserectionpoundintimewithhisheartbeat.“WhichsideshouldIstarton?”
Swallowing,shelickedherlowerlip.“Yourchoice.”
Hecuppedherleftbreast,shaped,stroked.Andthenhedidwhathe’dthreatened—heclosedhisteethoveroneluscioussideandpressedjusthardenoughtohaveherbuckingunderhim.Alongtastelater,hedidthesametoherotherbreast.“Mmm,”hemurmured,raisinghishead.“IthinkI’llhaveseconds.”Andhedid.
Herchestfellupanddowninraggedbursts.“Baby,areallyourplanssodetailedandslow?”
“Why?”Henippedattheundersideofonebreast.
Sheshivered.“BecauseIthinkyoumightgivemeapleasure-inducedstrokeattherateyou’regoing.”
Runninghishandsalongherribcageandtothedipofherwaist,hekissedhiswaydownthevalleyofherbreastsandoverherstomach.“Sometimes,”hesaid,“I’llprobablyjustpickyouup,thrustyouagainstawall,anddriveintoyousohard,you’llscream.”Heusedtwofingerstopinchherclitorisinafirmgripasthelastwordlefthismouth.
Sheexploded,herbodyarchingsofiercelysheliftedoffthebed.Releasingthepearloffleshthatcouldcausesuchexquisitepleasure,herosetokissherneckassheshookwiththeaftereffectsofherorgasm.
Afemininehandclenchedinhishair.“Youdidthatonpurpose.”Husky,pleasured.
“What?”Hebegantracingareturnpathdownherbody.
“Theimageofyoudrivingintomeandthenthetouch.”Shedidn’tstophimwhenhebegantolaykissesalongthewaistbandofherpanties.“Yourwayofprovingthemind-bodyconnection.”
Helookedupwithaninternalscowlthathewassurehadmadeittohisface.“You’resupposedtobetoosatedtothink.”Orworry.
Shechuckled.“Mygorgeous,sexyJudd,atthispointmybrainsarepuremush.”Shereacheddowntopushsweat-dampstrandsofhairoffhisforehead.“ButIknowtendernesswhenIfeelit.”
Hemovedandhisshadowedjawbrushedoverherskin.Shemadeafemininesoundofpleasure.“Idon’tthinkit’spossibletocomethreetimesinonesession.”
Shiftingfurtherdown,herubbedhischeekalongherthigh.“Iloveachallenge.”
“AndIlovewhatyousaidaboutpoundingmeintoawalluntilIscream.”Asensualconfession.“Whenareyougoingtofollowthrough?”
Hiserectionseemedtogetimpossiblybigger,thebloodvesselsexpandingtostretchhisskintoburstingpoint.“Stoptalking.”
“Why?”
“You’rederailingtheplan.”
Sheputonelegoverhisshoulderashelaycradledsoclosetothecoreofher.“Ithinkit’smyturnanyway.Iwannatouch.”
Hebitattheinsideofthatshapelythigh.“No.”
Sheflinchedbutitwasn’tthebadkind.“Nofair.”Herfootrubbedathisback.
Herealizedhe’dhavetomovetogetridofherpanties.“Areyouparticularlyattachedtothese?”Hefingeredthelacearoundthecreasewhereherthighcurvedagainstthemostintimatepartofher.
“Wh-what?”Herhandsdroppedfromhisheadtodigintothesheets.
Hefiledawayherresponsivenesswhentouchedinthatparticulararea.“I’lltakethatasano.”Grippingholdofthefront,hetorethefragilefabricoffherbody.Thescrapsfellawaylikemist.
Shemadeashockedsound,thenwentcompletelystill,asifconsciousofhowopenshe’dbecometohim.Slidingahanduptheinsideofherthigh,helookedup,gladforthelightthatlethimseetheemotionflickeringoverherface.“CanIbiteyouhere,too?”CHAPTER34
Hereyeswenthugebutitseemedtotakeherafewsecondstogetthewordsout.“How”—sheswallowed—“howdoyouknowyou’llevenlikethetaste?”
Hischangelingwasplayingwithhim.Andtonight,hecouldplayback.“Goodpoint.Letmedoatastetest.”Holdinghergaze,hestrokedafingerthroughherliquidheat,barelyenteringherbodybeforewithdrawing.Thenheliftedthatfingerandsuckeditintohismouth,awareofBrenna’sbodyflushingaroundhim.
Whenhewithdrewthefinger,shesaid,“So?”Averysexualquestion.
Heansweredbydippinghisheadandusinghismouthonher.Hercrywashusky,arousing.Theheelofherfootpressedhardintohisbackasshetwisted.Whenherotherlegcameupoverhisshoulder,hespreadheropenwiththefingersofonehandandcontinuedtotaste.Tasteasonlyamanwho’dbeenstarvedcouldtaste.Witheverythinginhim,withabsoluteconcentrationandutterfocus.
Brennawastryingtobreathe,butitwasn’tworkingverywell,heraircominginbrokenpants.Juddwas—oh,Lord,hewasdestroyingherwithpleasure.Foramanwhohadneverdonethisbefore,hewasblindinglygood.Itmadeherverycuriousastojustwhatkindofresearchhe’dbeendoing.
Henippedatherwithhisteeth.
Shewhimperedandorderedherselftofindsomeshredofcontrolatthesametime.OtherwiseJudd’sarrogancewouldbecomeimpossible.Exceptthathewasdoingthemostexquisitethingstoherwiththatclevermouthandcontrolseemedaforeignconcept.
Hisfingertouchedherentrance,circled,teased.Buthedidn’tpushin.Thenhediditagain.Andagain.Andagain.Bythetimehedidbegintoslidethatteasingfingerinsideofher,shewassocrazywithanticipationthatthespikeoffearhermindassociatedwithaninvasionofherbodywasburiedunderanavalancheofsensation.
“You’retootight,”hesaid,soundingcompletelyanddeliciouslydominant.
Shesqueezedherinnermusclesaroundhisfingerinretaliation.“Tight,”shemanagedtosay,“isconsideredgood.”
Hebeganmovingthatfingerinandout.“Notwhenyou’resotight,Imightcauseyoupain.”
Itwasgettingimpossibletohaveacoherentthoughtbutshetried.“Judd,baby,doitbeforeIlosewhat’sleftofmymind.”She’dfelttherigidlengthofhimagainsther,knewhowmuchhewantedher.Allthathot,hardflesh…“Iwantyouinsideme.”
“Youneedalittlemoreforeplay.”
“Itakeitback!”shecried.“Foreplaysucks!”WhyhadshenotrealizedthatJudd’sicycontrol,whenmelted,wouldtranslateintoendlesspatienceinbed?
“Idisagree.”Thenhewaskissingheragain,tastinghermostintimatefleshasifitwereadelicacyhe’dwaitedalifetimetosavor.Thedarkredofdesirewashedacrosshermindandwhenshesurrendered,itwastothedepthsofherbeing.
JuddfeltBrenna’ssurrenderwithinhismind,asifhewerereadingherinnermostthoughtswithsomeheretoforeunknownsense.Raisinghishead,hepushedoutofherhold,kissedhiswayupherbody,andbracedhimselfwithonearmonthebed,thehandofhisotherstillbetweenherthighs.
Whenhekissedher,shethrewherarmsaroundhisneckandgavehimeverythingheaskedfor.Andwhenhewenttopushasecondfingerintoher,shedidn’tprotest,onlybreakingthekissonagaspandmovingonehandtoclenchonhisbiceps.Hespokewithhislipsagainsthers.“Brenna?”
Hereyesflutteredopen,brightandextraordinarilybeautiful.“Comeinsidemenow.Ineedyou.”
Thesimplerequestshothisplantohell.“I’mafraidofhurtingyou.”Notphysicallybutmentally,psychically.
Shepushedathisshoulders.“Iwanttoswitch.”
Understanding,hewithdrewhisfingersonhermoanandmovedoffherontohisback.CedingcontrolwasdifficultforhimbuthetrustedBrennaonalevelhe’dneverbeforetrustedanyone.Whenshesatuptostraddlehim,hewasstunnedspeechlessattheproudfemalebeautyofher.Heluxuriatedinthefeeling,consciousthathe’dhavetoretreatassoonashispowerregenerated.
Reachingdown,sheclosedslenderfingersaroundthepainfullengthofhiserection.Hegrittedhisteethandfistedhishandsaroundthebarsintheheadboardbutdidn’ttakehiseyesoffher.Theplayofemotionsoverherfacewaspureseduction.Pleasure,surprise,hunger.
“You’reright,”shewhispered,examininghisengorgedfleshwiththosebrighteyes.“I’mgoingtofeeleveryinchofyougoingin.”Sheshiftedtoputherbodyintherightspot,thenusedherhandtoguidethetipofhimintoherbeforelettinggo.
Hestoppedbreathingforafewsecondsasthepleasuretraveledfromtheapexofhiserectiondownthelengthofhisbody.Untilthatmoment,he’dneverrealizedthemind-blowingsensitivityofthatbundleofnerves—howcouldhispeoplehavegivenupthisincrediblerushofsensation?Whenheopenedeyeshehadn’tbeenawareofclosing,hefoundBrennaonherkneesabovehim,herheadtippedback.
“Lookatme.”
Sheobeyedwithashudderthatvibratedthroughhim,reachingoutherhandsatthesametime.Heraisedhisownandclaspedthemtohers.Pushingagainsthishold,shebegantolowerherbody,acceptinghimcentimeterbyslowcentimeter.Theireyesneverbrokecontactandtheintimacywassointense,Juddknewthathadthedissonancebeenfunctioning,itwouldhavekilledhim.
Shestoppedsuddenly,chestheaving.“You’restretchingmesotight,Ican’tbearit.”Thenshegroanedandmovedagain.“Sweetmercy.”
Hewasclosetobeggingformercyhimself,burnedbythescaldingheatofher,thrownintoasensoryinfernomoreacutethananythinghehadeverbeforefelt.Hishandstightenedonhers,butshedidn’tcomplain.Instead,takingadeepbreath,shesqueezedherfingersaroundhisandboredownonhiserection,takinghiminsidetothehilt.
Puresexualpleasure/pain.
Hisbackbowedashefoughttoremainconsciousundertheoverload.ForanArrowtrainedtoresistsensationatallcosts,feelingthismuchwasakintobeingthrownintothemostdangerousofflames.
ItwasBrenna’stouchthatbroughthimbackfromtheedge—shesurroundedhim,aseductivemixofgrace,femaledemand,andhunger.Openinghiseyes,hefoundhersittingstockstill.“What’swrong?”Hisvoicewasscrapedraw,asifhe’dbeenscreaming.
“I’mgettingusedtoyou.”Hereyescamecloserassheleanedin,stretchingouthisarmsuntilhishandslaybesidehishead.“You”—shebrushedherlipsoverhis—“fillmeup.”
Hegroaned,strainingnottoriseupandtakecommand.Thatshe’dacceptedtheintrusionofhisbodywasmorethanenough.Thistime.Becausehewasverydefinitelyrepeatingthis,nomatterwhathehadtodotocauseanotherflameout.
Brennakissedhimagainandthistimeitwaswildandfuriousandwet.“Moveinme,”shewhispered.Releasinghishands,sheplacedherown,palmsdown,onhischest.
Hewasincapableofspeechsohejustputhishandsonherhipsandbeganliftingandloweringherinrhythmwiththemovementsofhisownbody.Allhisresearchhaddisappearedfromhisbrain—whatguidedhimwasage-oldinstinctandanunrelentingtendernesstowardhislover.
Atfirsthekeptitslow,lettingherbecomeaccustomedtohimashedrownedinthemaddeningecstasyofhertouch.Thenshebegantourgeafasterrhythmandherespondedbyslammingintoher,raisinghisbodyassheloweredhers.Cryingout,shedugherfingersintohischestandrodehim,wildanduninhibited.
Whenshemadeafrustratedsound,hecaughtherandflippedhertoherback.Shedidn’tprotest,twiningherlegsaroundhiswaist.Reachingdown,herubbedatthehardbudofherclitorisashetookoverthedrivingrhythm,poundingthembothintoapleasurethatseemedimpossible.Somewherealongtheway,helosttheabilitytothink.
Brenna’slegswerejelly.“Idon’tthinkIcanmove,”shemumbledintoJudd’sneck,whereherfacewascurrentlyburied.
Hisresponsewasagrunt.Hishandstrokedherbottomoncebeforefallingaway—asifhedidn’thavetheenergytodomore.
Sheranherfingersoverhischest,nuzzledathispulse,andtookthescentofhimintoherlungs.Shealreadysmelledofhim,butfromtoday,thescentwouldbeinsideherverypores.Itmadeherfeelpossessed,protected,adored.Itwasgoodtobelongtohim,evenifhedidhaveatendencytowarddominance.
“Oncemore.”
Shewassureshewashavinganauralhallucination.“Youdidnotjustsay‘oncemore.’”
“BeforetheTkcomesback.”
Sheshookherhead.“You’recrazy.”Afterthatloving,he’dbeluckyifshemovedanytimethiscentury.“GoodthingIlikecrazy.”
“Onehour.Nap.Thenagain.”
Despiteherexhaustion,shefoundthefemalenessinherreactingtothedeterminationinhistone.“Youaresosexy.”
“Iknow.”
Itmadehersmile.“Yeah?”
“Thisbeautifulchangelingkeepstellingme.”Hishandclosedoverthebackofhernape.“Nowsleep.”
Shedid.Exactlyonehourlater,shewoketothetouchofmalefingersandlips,herbodyrelaxinginthemostsensualway.Theydancedmorelanguidlythistime,andJuddlethercuddleandpethimasmuchasshewanted.
Hismuscleswerehardandwarmunderherfingertips,hisskinholdingtheflavorofsaltandman.Itmadeherdeeplyhappytobesointimatelyconnectedtohim.“Iwanttodothiseverydayfortherestofmylife.”
Hiseyesweresparksofgoldinthedarkness.“Yes.”
ButhehadtoleaveherwhentheTkregenerated.“Brenna—”
“Shh.”Sheshookherhead,achingtocrossthedividebetweenthem.“I’llseeyoutomorrowmorning.”Itwasobvioushedidn’twanttogo.Equallyobvioustoherheightenedknowledgeofhimwasthepain—thedissonance—herefusedtobetray.“Tomorrowmorning,baby.”
Hefinallyleftafterseveralmoreminutesofpersuasiononherpart.Onlythendidsheliebackagainstthepillowandletthetearscome.Wasthisallthey’deverhave—stolenmomentswhenJuddwasstrippedofacrucialpartofhispsyche?Itseemedsohopeless.Shemight’vecriedintothenight,butexhaustiontookherunderafterafewminutes,andwhenshewoke,hopereawakenedwithher.
“ImadelovetoJuddLauren,”shewhispered,amazed.Evenamonthago,thatwouldhaveseemedafool’sdream.“ThenIguessI’mafool.”Smiling,shepushedoffthebed,showered,andgrabbedabitetoeat.Afterward,knowingitwouldn’tdoanygoodforJuddtobetrappedintheconfinesofanapartmentstampedwiththepsychicechoesoftheirloving,sheheadedtowardoneofthespecializedtechchamberstodosomework.
Juddfoundherhalfwaytoherdestination.“Don’tyouneedtobeatDarkRiver?”
Nowordsofromance,buthiseyesheldsuchdarkfirethatevenasherbodythrilledtolife,sheworried.“Judd,youhavetopullbackorthedissonancewillpunishyou.”
“NeverthoughtI’dhearyousaythat.”Theintensityofhisgazedidn’tchange.
Shakingherheadathisstubbornness,sheansweredhisquestion.“I’vedonemostofmybitintermsofprogramming—Dorianwillgivemeacallifheneedsanything.”
HerwordscutthroughthesensualresonancestillvibratingthroughJudd’swholebody,remindinghimofsomethingveryimportant.“WhydidyouleaveDarkRiveryesterday?Whocalled?”
Brennapaled.“Itwasanambush.Thatbastardcould’vekilledDrew!ItwasonlybecauseRileygavechaseandscaredhimoffthathedidn’tkeepshooting.”
Hewantedtoholdher,butcouldn’tchancebodilycontact,notwiththememoryoftheirintimacysofresh.Hishandfisted.“Doyouknowtheidentityofthecaller?”
“ThemessagewaspassedonbyDarkRiver’smainreceptionist.”Shethrustahandthroughherhair.“Itcameinthroughtheirgeneralline.Weshouldhaveknownsomethingwaswrong,butweweren’tthinkingbecausethemessagesaidthattherehadbeenaPsyattackonthepupsandseveralweredead.”
“Rileydidn’tcallbacktoconfirm?”Itwasstandardoperatingprocedureinmosttacticalandmilitaryunits.
Shewinced.“Ithinkhewastooangry…andtheshootercountedonthat.”
Emotionasaweakness—itwaswhathe’dalwaysbeentaught.“Consideringtheimportofthemessage,whydidn’tthecatsknow?”Clay,asasentinel,wouldcertainlyhavebeeninformedbythereceptionist.
“ThemessagewasinthecodePacksoldiersuse,”sherevealed.“ItsaidthatthistimetherewasincontrovertibleproofofDarkRiverbeinginvolved.God,wewerestupid!”
“Notnecessarily.Ifitwasincode,thenRileywascorrecttoassumeitcamefromalegitimatesource.Evenifhehadcalledback,theshootermayhavebeenpreparedtointercept.”Smart.Butinhiscleverness,Timothy’skillermighthavemadeafatalmistake.“Howmanypeopleknowthatcode?”
“Ihavenoidea.”
“I’llaskRiley.Canyoutracethecallitself?”
“I’llseeifDoriancanhookintoDarkRiver’scommsystem,butiftheshooterusedoneofthepublicphonesintheden…”Sheshrugged.“Howcanwehavebredsuchevil?Ican’timagineit,andyetit’strue.”Shesoundedangryandsadatthesametime.“Here’smystop—I’llprobablybeinsidethechamberforhours.Seeyoufordinner?”
Heknewshewasdeliberatelyputtingdistancebetweenthem,tooperceptivenottounderstandthedevastatingimpactithadhadonhimtoexperiencethefuryoftheirintimacyafterfeelingnothingformostofhislife.“Yes.Howsecureisthisroom?”
Sheshowedhimthesecuritysystem.“Allsortsoftechworkgoesonintheseroomssothey’reclosetoimpregnable,moretoprotectthepublicthanus,butonceIgoinandlockthedoor,noonecanoverridethelock.Don’tworry—Ihavenointentionofmakingthiseasyforthatpieceofscum.”
Satisfied,helefttofindRiley.“Howmanymenandwomenknowthatcode?”heaskedthelieutenant.
“Aboutahundred.”Riley’svoicewasagrowl.“Fortyofthemwereonscheduledwatchesinotherareasatthetimeoftheshooting.Thatgivesmesixtytoworkthrough.”
Itwasstillalargenumber.“Weneedtodetailtheirmovementsovertheperiodoftheattack.”
“Yeah,exceptmostofthesoldiersaresingleandwolf-independent.It’sgoingtotaketimeandthispsycho’sstartingtoloseit—usingthatcodewasstupidityonhispart.”Rileydidn’thavetoaddthatstupidornot,thekillerwashuntingBrennainearnestnow.
Juddcontinuedtohavethefeelinghewasmissingsomething,butnomatterhowlonghethoughtaboutit,hecouldn’tfathomananswer.“Doyouwantmyassistance?”
Rileypaused.“No.Ican’tjustifyyoutryingtobreakopenloyalmen’sandwomen’smindsoveronebastard.”Buthelookedasthoughhewantedtoconsent.“YoukeepBrensafeandI’lltrackhimdown.”
Juddhadnointentionoffollowingthatorder—notwhentheirquarrywasathreattoBrenna—buthesimplynodded.LeavingRiley,hemadeanothercall.“Ican’tcomedowntoday,”hetoldSascha.“Iapologize.”
“Don’tworry—Iwasthinkingofsuggestingthatanyway,”shesaid,tohissurprise.“Wedidsomuchyesterday—thedeerneedtimetorecover.Thiskindofhealingisslowgoing.”
Hangingupafterdiscussingwhenshemightneedhimagain,Juddreturnedtohisroom.Thoughthehuntforthekilleroccupiedaconsiderableportionofhisbrain—ashepurposefullyapproachedtheproblemfromadifferentanglefromRileysoasnottoduplicatetheirefforts—therewassomethingelsehehadtothinkabout.
Reachingup,hebeganusingtheexercisebartodochin-ups.Therepetitiveacthelpedfocushismindasitmultitasked.Onethingwascertain—herefusedtoneveragainexperiencetheintimacyofbeingwithBrenna.Itwasn’tthesex,thoughthathadbeenthemostamazingexperienceofhislife.Itwasthewayhe’dmadeherlaugh,madehersmile,madehercomplainandthencuddle.Allbecauseshe’dfeltsafe,reassuredbythestrengthoftheiremotionalconnection.
Hewouldnotstealthatfeelingfromher.Andhemostdefinitelywasnotgoingtosurrenderhertoanothermalewhocouldgiveherwhatsheneeded.Theideamadehimwanttobreaksomething.However,regardlessofwhathe’dconsideredintheheatofpassion,hecouldn’tkeepforcingflameoutsinordertoprotectherfromhisTk-Cell.Whichlefthimwithachoiceandaquestionhe’drejectedearlier—howtodisabletheSilenceProtocol,inparticularthedissonance,withoutunleashingthekillingrageofhisgift.
Hisphonebeeped.Droppingdownfromthebar,hepickeditup.“Judd.”
“It’sHawke.Canyoumeetmebythewaterfall?”
Herealizedthealphaprobablywantedtoaskhimaboutthedeprogramminghe’ddonewiththePineWoodhyenas.“I’monmyway.”Thewalktotheexitbroughthimintocontactwithseveralchangelings.Thatwasn’tunusual.Whatwasunusualwastheresponsehispresenceelicited.Smiles,waves,shoutedhellosandevenslapsonthebackwhenhedidn’tmoveawayfastenough.
He’dalmostreachedhisgoalwhenIndigostoppedhim.“I’vegotsomethingyou’llwanttohear.”CHAPTER35
Shedrewhimintotheshadowofanearbyalcove.“OneofTim’sfriendsgotbackfromoutoftowntodayandfoundamessageonhishomecomm—leftthenightTimdied.TimsaidhehadsomeinfohewantedtopassontoHawkethroughatrustedsource.Confirmshewasabouttoratthedealerout.”
Itwasn’tmuch,butitwasanotherpieceofdatatofeedintothecontinuouslyrunningpsychicprograminJudd’shead.“Didyoumanagetotrackdownanyotherconfirmedusers?”
“Yeah,”shesaid.“Buttheyknowshit—thisguyissmart,nevershowedthemhisface.Coward.Ifnotforyou,we’dbemourningDrewtoday.I’mgoingtoenjoyrippingoutthekiller’sthroatwhenwefindhim.”Agrimsmilelater,shewasgone.
JuddappreciatedIndigokeepinghimupdated,buthewonderedathermotives.Notwithstandinganythinghe’ddone,heremainedoutsidetheSnowDancerhierarchyandthewolvestrustednoonewhowasn’ttheirown.Buttherewasn’tanyroominhisheadforthatunimportantissuerightnow.
Exitingtheden,hemadehiswaythroughtheicycoldofthepiercingwinter’sdaytothefrozenedgeofthewaterfall.Hawkewasalreadystandingthere,armsfolded.Athisfeetsattwowolves.Fromtheirsizeandattitude,Juddcouldtelltheyweren’tchangelings.Itwasn’tthefirsttimehe’dseentheSnowDanceralphasurroundedbythewildwolveswhoroamedsomeofthesamerangeasthechangelings.He’devenhearditrumoredthatthecreaturesconsideredHawketheiralpha,too—somethingmorelikelytobetruethannot.Hawkewassoclosetohisanimalthatattimes,itwasn’tclearwhoorwhatwaslookingoutofthosepaleeyes.
ThewolveswatchedJuddapproach,butdidn’tmakeanyaggressivesoundsormovements.“You’relate,”Hawkesaid.
“Iwasdelayedbyanumberofthepack.”
Hawkenodded.“AfterwhatyoudidforDrew,Ithinktheywanttothrowadamnparadeinyourhonor.”
“Ihopeyouputastoptothatidea.”
“Idon’tknow—maybeitwouldfinallyputyournieceintoagoodmood.”
Sothatwaswhatthismeetingwasabout.“What’sSiennadonenow?”
Hislatesister’sseventeen-year-oldwaswalkingaverythinline.She’dbeenalmostfullyconditionedwhenthey’ddefected,whichhadleftherinadifficultposition,evenmoresobecauseoftheproblemsthatcamewithageinrelationtoherabilities.ButovershadowingthatwasthefactthatsheseemedtohavemadeithernewpurposeinlifetoannoyHawkeinasmanyandasvariedwaysaspossible.
“She’sconvincedsomeofthejuvenilesshecanreadtheirthoughtsandthatI’mpayinghertodoexactlythat.”Hawkewasscowling,buttherewasamusementinhiseyes.“I’vegotconfessionscomingoutmyears.”
“I’lltalktoher.”Walkerhadtakenchargeofthetwoyoungerkids—hisdaughter,Marlee,ofcourse,andtheirnephew,Toby.IthadbeennaturalforJuddtodothesamewithSienna—hecouldhelpherinwaysWalkercouldn’t.Ofcourse,hisniecedidn’tthinksheneededanadultkeeper.
Hawkewavedahand.“Don’tworryaboutit.I’lldealwithher.”
Inthefirstfewmonthsfollowingtheirdefection,Juddwould’venixedthatidea.ButafterhavingwitnessedthewayHawkehandledthewolfjuveniles,heknewthatwhileSiennamightgetherhidestrippedonthesharpedgeofhistongue,shewouldn’tcometoanyrealharm.“Thenwhydidyouasktomeet?”
“You.”Aharshresponsethatmadethewolvesgrowl.“You’reaproblem.”
“Somuchfortheparade.”Hepaused.“DoesthepackknowthedetailsofwhatIdid?”
Hawkeshookhisheadinanimmediatenegative.“Theythinkyousomehowdeflectedthebullet.We’vebeenhelpingthatrumoralong.”
“Good.”Thatmeanthisnewfoundskillremainedatacticaladvantage.“Thenwhat’stheproblem?”IfthealphatriedtoseparatehimfromBrenna,he’dhaveafightonhishands.Abloodyone.
“You’recausinghavocinthepack.What’syourfightcounttodate?”
“Doyouwanttheexactnumber?”Juddhadbeenfacingoffchallengerssincethedayhewalkedintotheden.
Hawkesnorted.“Iknowthenumber.Ialsoknowyou’vewoneverysingleoneofthosefights.”Hewentdownonhishaunchestopetthewolves.Theygrowledandbuttedtheirheadsagainsthistouchbeforelopingoffintothewoods.Hawkestoodbackup.“Whichleavesmewithapowerfulmaleinmypackwhostandsoutsidethepackstructure.”
HerecalledIndigo’srecentbehavioraswellascertainotheracts.“SomeofyourpeoplehavealreadybeguntreatingmeasifIhavestatus.”
“Yeah.Theyfigurethey’lljustwearyoudown.”
“Wearmedowntowhat?”
“Joiningthepackfullyorgettingthehellout.”Abluntchoice.“Ican’thaveastronglonewolfinmyterritory.”
“Youwanttogivemeanofficialrank.”Everyoneinthepackhadone.Statuscouldbechangedinoneoftwoways—throughaphysicalfightorbytheutilizationofacomplexsystemofskillsetsandrespecthedidn’tcompletelyunderstand.However,he’dbeeninSnowDancerlongenoughtoguessatsomeofit—Lara’sstatuswasapparentlythesameasIndigo’s,whiletheelderlylibrarian,Dalton,hadHawke’searanytimehecaredtospeak.
“Yes.”
“Ihadrankonce.”AsanArrow.Oneoftheelite.“WhatIrealizedisthatblindtrustinanyhierarchyisidiocy.”He’dbeennineteenwhenhe’dunderstoodhowruthlesslyhe’dbeenbetrayedandused.
“We’renotPsy.”Hawkescowled.“DoyouseeIndigoorRileybowingandscrapingtome?”
Thatwasalsotrue—thepredatorychangelingsheldtheirleaderstotoughstandards.He’dseenagrimexampleofthatinParrish’sexecution.Notoneofthehyenapackhadaskedformercyfortheirleader.Theritualdeathhad,infact,beenadministeredbytheincomingalpha.Bloodyjusticebutjusticenonetheless.
ItwasasystemofchecksandbalancesthathadbeendeniedtothePsypopulaceforoveracentury.“Evenifyoumakemeasoldier,I’munlikelytoobeyyoureveryorder.”
“IfI’dwantedmuteobedience,I’dhavefoundapackofsheep.”Hawke’sresponsewasalmostasnarl.“Youinornot?”
HewouldneverwalkawayfromBrenna.Orfromhisloyaltytohisfamily.“Yes.”HewaspreparedtoacceptalowerrankthanhehadheldinthePsyNet,thoughitchafed.Pride.Anemotionalweakness,buthe’dneverclaimedtobeperfect.Itwashisrace’sgoaloficyperfectionthathadstolentheirhumanity.
Hawkegrinned.“Youshould’veaskedwhatrankyou’dbeassignedbeforeyouaccepted.Toolatenow.”
“Iassumedlow-tomidlevelsoldier.”AndPsydidnotmakebaselessassumptions
“Igothroughthiswholesonganddancetellingyouyou’retoofuckingstrongtobelefttoroamandyouthinkI’mgoingtogiveyouarankthat’llconfusethehelloutofthepack?”Walkingforward,thealphaslashedoutwithhisclaws,themovesofastthatJudddidn’thavetimetoreact.Itwould’vebeenlogicaltoblastoutwithTkpower,buthismartiallytrainedmindprocessedHawke’sbodylanguageandcametotheconclusionthathewasn’tunderattack.Reachingup,hefeltfourthinlinesonhisneck.Surfacecutsbutenoughtocolorhisfingers.
Hawkeslashedhisownpalmandletitdriptothesnow.Actingoninstinct,JuddspreadhisbloodyhandandcaughtadropofHawke’sblood.Itburnedhot,asifitcarriedfire.Somethingsnappedtightinsideofhim,butwhenhelookedintothepsychicplaneoftheLaurenNet,hefoundnonewconnection.
Theburningsensationlingeredevenafterhedroppedhishand.“Whatwasthat?”
“Thecompletionofabloodbond.”Hawkeclosedhishandintoafist,stemmingtheflowofblood.“You’renowaSnowDancerlieutenant.”
Juddlookeddownatthesnowstainedpinkandthenbacktothosepaleeyes.“YoudespisethePsy.”Hedidn’tknowthereasonforthathatred,butheknewitexisted.
“Tohateyouallwithoutreasonwouldmakemeabigot.”Hawke’smouthtwisted.“AndIprefernottothinkofmyselfthatway.”Therewassomethingdeeperinthealpha’svoice,layersofemotionJuddcouldn’tread.
“IsitSascha?”HawkehadadistinctlikingforLucas’smate.
Asmilewipedthegrimexpressionoffhisface.“ShedidkindofthrowmyopinionsaboutPsysideways,but—”Heshookhishead,asifhaltinghimselfbeforehesaidtoomuch.“Itrustthosewho’veproventheirloyalty.You’vedonethatoverandover—beingwarmandcuddlyisn’tarequirement.Welcometothepack.”
Juddwentdowntocleanoffthebloodwithsnow,somehowknowingtheresultcouldnotbesoeasilywipedout.Hawkewasdoingthesame.Thewolf’scuthadalreadyclotted.WhileJudd’shealingwasaresultofhisTk-Cellabilities,Hawke’swasthankstochangelingstrength.Alphachangelingstrength.
“So,”Juddsaid,“whatdolieutenantsdo?”
“Ahellofalotofwork.”Hawke’sgrinwasatouchevil.
“Guesstheholiday’sover.”Thedissonancespikedintunewithhissenseofbelonging,hispride,andhisthoughtsofawomanwitheyesofshatteredblue.
Brennagaspedthesecondsheopenedthetechchamberdoor.“Hawkebloodedyou!”Givinganexcitedshriek,shejumpedintohisarms,legswrappingaroundhiswaist.
Hecaughtherreflexively.“Careful.Myabilitieshaveregenerated.”
“Ithought—”Sheshrugged.“Ithoughtthetimeapartmighthavehelpeddampenthefeelingsfromlastnight.”
“You’reright.”Hesawnoneedtomentionthatthedissonancewasnolongerstrengtheningatasteadypace—itwasgettingexponentiallyworse.Atnotimeduringthedayhadithaltedaltogether.Nonessentialpartsofhisbrainwerealreadycompromised.
Sherubbedhernoseagainsthisinplayfulaffection.“Soyou’realieutenantnow.”
“Doesthatmakeadifferencetoyou?”Hewasgenuinelycurious.
“Baby,IknewyouwerebossythefirstdayIsawyou.Thisjustconfirmsit.”Shenippedathislowerlip.“TheonlydifferenceisthatI’mhappyforyou.YouandIwerealwaysgoingtobe.”
“Destiny?”
“You’dbetterbelieveit.Sowhatarewegoingtodotomakeithappen?”Herexpressionshiftedwithoutwarningandshedroppedoffhim,breakingallcontact.“Youreyes…thepain,it’sworsethanbefore,isn’tit?”
“It—”
Sheheldupahandbeforehecouldtellheritdidn’tmatter.“It’snotnothing,notwhenIcanseebloodspotsinthewhitesofyoureyes.”Hervoicetrembledforasecondbeforeshegotitundercontrol.“Howbad?”
Hecouldn’tlietoher.“Atthecurrentrate,it’llsooncausepermanentdamagetomybrain.”Ahard,roughformofrehabilitation,apttoleavehimavegetable.CHAPTER36
InthedarkestcoreofthePsyNet,thepureblackwallsoftheCouncilchambersstreamedwithdata,endlesssilvercolumnstoofastfortheeyetoseebutlegibletothepsychicmind.
“We’velostcontrolofPineWood,”Nikitasaid.“Parrish—thealpha—isdead,andsomeone’snotonlydeprogrammedtherestofthepack,heorshehasarmedthehyenas’mindsagainstfurtherinterference.Trainedpersonnelmaybeabletobreakthoseblocks,butitwilltakeconsiderableeffort.It’snotworthourtime.”
“Sascha?”Shoshannaasked.
“No.”Nikitawascertainofthat.“Shedoesn’thavethenecessaryskillset.”
“NeitherdoesFaithNightStar,”Marshallpointedout.
“Whichleavesuswithanunknown.”Kaleb,who’dbeenuncharacteristicallyquiettothatpoint.“IfI’mnotmistaken,programminganddeprogrammingskillsaretaughtexclusivelytocertainbranchesofourarmedforces.”
“Correct.”Ming’sicyblaze.“Ithastobeoneoftheelitesoldiers.”
“SomeoneoutsidetheNet?”Nikitaknewfullwellthat,contrarytowhatthemassesbelieved,thereweresomePsywhowerenothookedintothePsyNet.Notrenegadeslikeherdaughter,butthosewhohadneveruplinkedatall…becausetheyhadanotheroption.Theexistenceofthe“Forgotten”wasoneoftheCouncil’smanydirtysecrets.
“Notnecessarily,”Kalebsaid.“Ithinkit’sbecomingobviouswehaveaseriousinternalthreat.”
“TheGhost.”Marshall’sstarwentacold,coldwhite.
“Hehastobeoperatingwithanassociateorassociates,”Nikitaadded.“OnePsycan’tbesoskilledinbothpsychicandphysicalwarfare.Thelabexplosionswereveryprecise,involvingahighdegreeoftechnicalknowledge—whollydissimilartotheexpertiserequiredtosiphondatafromsecurePsyNetdatabases.”
“Thentherearetheassassinations.”Tatianaspokeup.“We’velostseveraltopscientists.”
“I’mcheckingmydatabasesforpossiblerenegades.”Mingwassilentforaminute.“Overthepasttenyears,we’velostoneArrowandsevensoldierswiththerequisiteskills—incircumstancesthatmaderecoveryoftheirbodiesimpossible.”
“WhowastheArrow?”Tatianaagain.
“JuddLauren.”
Nikitarecalledthecase.“Ithinkwecansafelycrosshimoffthelist.TheentireLaurenfamilyhasbeendeadforoverayear.”
“Isthatcertain?”Marshallasked.“Weneverfoundbodies.”
Nikitaknewthewolves.“TheSnowDancersdon’tleavebodiestofind.Ican’tseethemgivingsanctuarytoanyPsyandparticularlynotaPsyofJuddLauren’sabilities.Hewouldhavebeenaclearthreat—theirruleistokillfirstandaskquestionsofthecorpses.”
“Talkingofthewolves,”Shoshannasaid,“BrennaKincaidisstilllistedontheTechAssociationdatabaseasanactiveLevel1,whichmeansshe’salive.”
“Giveitmoretime—they’llbekillingeachothersoonenough.”Tatiana’scooltone.“Ming,whatabouttheothersevensoldiersyoulost?”
“I’lltracethem,”Mingsaid.“ButIagreewithCouncilorKrychek—certainotherrecenteventswouldseemtosuggestaninternalproblem.”
“What’shappeningwiththechatroomsituation?”Tatianaasked.
Marshallhighlightedafilefromthescrollingstreamsofdata.“Henryisinchargeofthatparticularissue.”
ButitwasShoshannawhoanswered.“We’vetakencareofit.Thosewhowereopenlydiscussingincendiarymattershavebeencounseledtoceaseanddesist.”
Nikitawonderedif“counseled”wasaeuphemismforthemildestformofrehabilitation,whichleftmostofthehigherbrainfunctionsintactwhiledeletinglargesectionsofmemory.Shehadtoadmititwasagoodchoice.Theycouldn’taffordanunseemlynumberofdisappearancesaftertherecentrashofmurderscausedbyanchorswho’descapedtheirhandlers.“Thatleavestheonesoperatingbelowtheradar.”
“IhavetheNetMindsearching,”Kalebsaid,referringtotheuniquesentiencethatlivedinandmadeorderoutofthechaosofthePsyNet.
“Thatbringsupanotherissue,”Marshallsaid.“TheNetMindhasbeengettingveryerraticoflate.It’sonlyrecentlyreportedbackonpossiblesignsofaserialkillerwhomayhavebeenoperatingundetectedforyears.”
Theyhadallnoticedit.TheNetMind’srecordingsweremorefragmentedthanbefore,andthereweregapsfilledwithdarkspaces,alowbuzzofbackgroundnoise—almostanecho—thatnoneoftheirbestmindscouldfilterout.
“Thisisatheoryunbackedbyanyresearch,”Kalebsaidintothesilence,“butIbelievetheNetMindmaybepassingthroughaperiodofadolescence.Ifso,thatadolescenceislikelytolastdecades,ifnotcenturies.Wehavenoconcreteideaofitsageorthespeedatwhichitmatures.”
Shoshannaspokeontheheelsofhispronouncement.“GiventhattheresearchofoveracenturyhasnotyetmanagedtouncovertheNetMind’sinnerworkings,Iwouldsayit’ssafetoassumethisissuewillhavenoeasyanswer.”
“Iagree.”Marshall.“Wehavetoinitiateotheroptionstofindtheidentityofthesecondtierofdiscontents.Ming,doyouhavepeoplewecanuse?”
“MyforcesarecurrentlyheavilyinvolvedinrelocatingtheImplantLab.Becauseofthesabotagerisk,we’removingittoahiddenlocationinthecornfieldsofNebraska.”
“AsIrecall,wasn’tAleineresistanttotheideaofamove?”Nikitahadmettheheadresearcher.ThewomanhadawillcomparabletoanyCouncilor’s.
“Thatissuehasbeenresolved.”
NikitawonderedwhatleverageMinghadused—ithadtohavebeenverypersuasive.“Butifthat’sthecase,whynotmovehertoalocationoutoftheUnitedStates?”SomeoftheeasternEuropeansiteswerefarbettersuitedtoclandestineresearch.
“ZieZen,”Mingsaid.“He’sthebiologicalfatherofAshayaAleine’sonlychild.Theyhaveajointparentingagreementandhewisheshiscoparenttoremaininthecountry,asshe’strainingtheboyincertainunusualaspectsofhisabilities.”
NikitawaswellawareofwhoZieZenwas,havingrunacrossthepowerfulbusinessmanmorethanonceastheyviedforthesamecontracts.“Wecan’taffordtoobstructbusiness—notaftertheFaithNightStarfiasco.”ShedirectedherwordsattheScotts,thetwowhohadcausedthewholemess.
ButitwasTatianawhospoke.“Howsecureisthenewlocation?”
“Extremely,”Mingresponded.“Nooneinthelabknowswherethey’rebeingmovedandoncetheyarrive,they’llbeunderacommunicationsblackout,exceptformonitoredcallswiththeirfamilyorbusinessgroupsonceaweek.TheirPsyNetaccesswillbepolicedatalltimes—settingupthetracersiswhat’stakingupsomanyofmyforces.AsforCouncilstaff,onlythebareminimumknowthenewlocation.Theshortlistisonehundred.Ifwehavealeak,we’llknowwheretostartlooking.”
“Didyoucheckforchangelingthreats?”Kaleb’squestionwasoneNikitahadbeenconsideringasking.“Thesecrecycouldbefornothingiftheylocateus.”
“Thereisnostrongpackorfamilyunitinthevicinity.”
“And,”Tatianaadded,“changelingsdon’tmuchcarewhatwedosolongasitdoesn’taffectthem.Ibelievewemustconcentrateonthethreatfromwithin.”
Ming’sstarflared.“Agreed.Thereisnoriskofanoutsidestrikeonthenewlab.”
“Let’shopeyourconfidenceisjustified.”Shoshanna.
NikitawantedtosaysomethingaboutwhatsheandKalebsuspected,ifonlytoputanendtotheotherCouncilor’sarrogance.Butthetimewasn’tyetright—theywerestillgatheringevidence.However,theycouldcertainlystarttheprocess.
ShewaiteduntiltheCouncilsessionhadendedbeforeaskingMingforaprivatemeet.Kalebhadlefthertofirethefirstvolley.Thatimpliednorelationshipoftrust—shedidn’ttrustanyoneandneitherdidhe.Buthemightmakeausefulally.Ifheprovedanenemy…well,deathscouldbemadetolooklikeaccidents
MingfollowedherintotheDuncanfamilyvault.“Nikita,whatcanIdoforyou?”
“Ming,Ididn’twanttobringthisupinopensessionincasetherewasagoodreasonyouwanteditkeptsecretfromacertainotherfaction”—sowtheseedsslowly—“butwhydidn’tyoutellusaboutthelivetrialoftheImplantProtocol?”
“Yourintelligenceisfaulty.Therehavebeennolivetrials.”
“Ihaveconfidenceinmysource,”Nikitasaid.“Apparentlytherearetenparticipants.Onefatalitytodate.”Sheshowedhimthedatafileandwatchedashedownloadeditintohismind.
WhenMingnextspoke,theiceofhismindcouldhavecutdiamonds.“Thankyouforbringingthistomyattention.Iintendtofindoutwhoauthorizedthisandorderanimmediatereversal.Theprocessisn’trefinedenoughforsuchtesting.”
Shebelievedhisrebuttal.AstheCouncilorinchargeoftheirarmedforces,Minghadnotolerancefordeviationsfromthechainofcommand.“Thatwasmyevaluationaswell.”Sheleftitatthat.LetMingmakehisownconclusions,determinehisownenemies.Arrows,evenformerArrows,wereverygoodatkilling.Itwastheirreasonforbeing.CHAPTER37
MidnightthedayofhisentryintoSnowDancer’shierarchy,JuddstoodinthebackofPerez’schurch,behindthecurtainsthatusuallyhidthechoirpriortotheirentrance.Tonighttherewasnochoir,nolight,justhimandamanwhomightwellbeanotherArrow.
TheGhostspokefromthedepthsoftheshadowsheseemedtocourt.“Iwasn’tsureyouwouldrespondtomymessage.”
Juddleanedagainstthewall.“Whynot?”
“Iwaswronginmyearlierassessment—you’vechanged,beeninfluencedbytheworldoutsidethePsyNet.”
“MystandonProtocolIwillneverchange.”Itwasanabomination,adesecrationthatcouldnotbepermitted.
“Noconflictingloyalties?”
“Notyet.”Butifitcametothat,hehadalreadymadehischoice.HernamewasBrennaandshewashisheartbeat.“Iwouldsuggestyouagreetoletmedisclosesomeofwhatweknowtothosewhonowsharemylife.They’reyourallies.”Andhewouldnotlie—orkeepneededinformation—fromthosewhotrustedhim.
“Myallies?Notyours?”TheGhost’svoicewasmeasured,cold,Psy.
“They’remypeoplenow.”HemightbeafallenArrow,buthewasalsoaSnowDancerlieutenant.
“So,doyourpeoplecareaboutthePsy?”TheGhostdidn’taskwhothosepeoplewere,keepingtotheirunspokencode.Youcouldnotbetraywhatyoudidnotknow.
“Theycareaboutthestabilityofthisworld.ThePsyhavethecapacitytodestroyitiftheycarryonintheircurrentpath.”Likeitornot,thePsywerethemostpowerfulraceontheplanet.Inthepast,theyhadbeenconsciousoftheeffectsoftheirdecisionsontheotherraces.Nolonger.“Nooneneedstoknowwheremyinformationcomesfrom.”
“We’reateam,Judd.I’llbowtoyourjudgment.”
“Whatdidyouwanttodiscuss?”
“TheImplantLabisintheprocessofbeingrelocated.Details.”Hethrewacrossadatacrystal.“Thedataissensitive.FromwhatI’vebeenabletoconfirm,itappearsthatonlyasmallpercentageoftheCouncilsuperstructureknowsitsexactlocation.”
Whichmeantthatiftheyactedonit,theGhost’sanonymitycouldbecompromised.“Wereyouabletoconfirmthedamagedonebyourlasthit?”
“Yes.There’snoquestion—they’vebeensetback,almosttosquareone.”
“Sowecanholdoffactingagainstthenewlab.Leakshappen.”
TheGhostpaused.“Therearerumorsofalivetrialinprogress.Iftrue,itmeanstherearesurvivingcopiesoftheexperimentalimplants.”
Judd’smindrejectedtheideaofuniqueindividualsbeingturnedintoautomatons.“Iwasundertheimpressiontheimplantsweren’tthatadvanced.”
“Allofmyintelligencesaysthesame.Mymeasuredguessisthatsomebodyactedprecipitouslyandtheimplantswilltakecareofthemselves—Iwouldn’tbesurprisedifthey’vealreadybeguntofail.”
“Keepmeupdated.Ifnecessary,Icanmakethedestructionofthenewlablooklikeanunfortunateaccident.”Itwouldrequiremoreplanningandthecooperationofthepack,butitcouldbedone.
AnodfromtheGhost.“Doyoueverwishtoreturntowhoyouwere?”
Anunusualquestion,buttheanswerwaseasy.“No.”
Brennawasinbedwhenhecametoherquarters.Movingonsilentfeet,hepausedtocheckthatthesecuritydeviceonherdoorwasfunctioningatanoptimallevel.Hewouldn’tresteasyuntilthekillerhadbeencaught—he’dalreadydiscardedtwentyofRiley’soriginalsixtysuspectsusingpurelogic,buthisinstinctstoldhimhewasclosetorunningoutoftime.
Brennaopenedhereyeswhenheenteredherroom.“You’reback.”Shesmiledsleepilyathimfromhernestintheblankets.
Hesatontheedge.“Ineedtotellyousomething.”
“I’mhere.”Shescootedcloser,butdidn’ttouch.
Heknewthedistancehadtotearatherchangelingneedforcontactandthemalenessinhimragedagainstthat—hewassupposedtogiveherwhatsheneeded,notcauseherpain.“IwanttotellyouwhereIgo,”hesaid,givingheranotherkindofintimacy,“andwhatIdowhenIdisappearfromtheden.”Hebeganatthebeginning—thefatefulmeetingonthePsyNet,ameetinghewassurehadbeenengineeredbytheGhost.ButtheotherPsyhadonlyfoundhimbecauseJuddhadwishedtobefound.
“He’dbeenwatchingme,seenmysubtleinsubordination.ImetFatherXavierPerezayearlater.”Inabarwherehe’dgonefordataandPerezhadgonetogetblinddrunk.Butthosewerethepriest’ssecrets.Theyhadnothingtodowiththeirwork.
“Kindredsouls.”Shewasevencloser,asifshecouldn’tstayaway.
Neithercouldhe,despitethefactthathecouldsensethecascadeoffinebloodvesselsburstingandbeingrepairedinstantaneouslyinsidehisskull.HisTk-Cellabilitieswerekeepingupwiththedamage.Just.“We,allthreeofus,wanttoprotectthePsyfromthebiggestthreatsinceSilence.”ThoughXavierPerez’smotiveremainedamystery,theman’sloyaltywasunquestionable.“ProtocolIwillleadtothedestructionoftheyoung—theirmindswillbecutinto,theirindividualidentitiesdestroyed.”
Brenna’shandcurledaroundhis,separatedonlybytheblanket.Hefeltherwarmth.Itwasn’tenough.Hewasstarvingforher,aclawing,almostanimalhungerinsidehim.
“Judd—Ismellblood.”Shejerkeduprightandreachedtoswitchonalamp.
Hestoppedherwithhisotherhand.“It’sjustanosebleed.”
Asmallsilence,thenshepulledawayfromhim.“No.”Apainedwhisper.“It’llkillyouifwedon’tstopbeingtogether.”
Hewipedawaythebloodwiththesleeveofhisturtleneck,abletotellitwasdarkandrich.“Thereisanotheroption,asyouoncesaid.IhavetodisabletheProtocol.”Andsomehowkeepfromturningintoaninadvertentmurderer.CHAPTER38
Thefirstbodywasfoundtwenty-fourhoursaftertheCouncilmeeting.Theyoungmale—whoturnedouttohavebeenaninmateatapre–RehabilitationCenterpriortohisearlyandunexpectedrelease—haddiedofmassiveneurologicaltrauma.
KalebputdownthereportandturnedtolookatNikita,whowasstaringoutatthecityofSanFrancisco.Theywereintheofficeareaofherprivatepenthouse,safefrompryingeyes.“They’retyingupthelooseends.”
Nikitashookherhead.“Theautopsyshowedalocalizedimplosioninthesegmentofhisbrainthatwouldhaveheldtheimplant.Itfailedanddestroyeditselfintheprocess.”
Kalebwasn’tsocertain.“Thetiming’stooconvenient.”
“Yes.Thereisthat.”
“Eitherway,itappearstheproblemisbeingburied.”
“Itdoesn’tmatter.”Nikita’svoicewaslow,measured.“Minghastohavehissuspicionsifnotoutrightproof.He’llwithdrawhissupportofanyfurtherpropositionsonthepartoftheScotts.”
“Doyouthinktheywerefoolishenoughtohavethemselvesimplanted?”
“Iftheimplantsareindeedfailing,we’llknowtheanswersoonenough.”
Kalebnodded,lookingoutatthemorningsunglitteringoffthewaterthatedgedthiscity.Hecouldn’thelpcomparingittohislandlockedhome.Twoverydisparatecities,butpowerfeltthesamewhetherhereorthere.CHAPTER39
Brenna’sheartwasatwistedknotofpainandfurywhensheranintoHawkethenextday.DamntheCouncilforputtingthatpoisonintoJudd’sbrain.Touchandemotionwerethecornerstoneofwhoshewas,buttheyweretoxictohim.He’dleftearlythismorning,sayinghehadtoconsiderhowtobreakthechainsofSilencewithoutbecomingadangertoheroranyoneelse,butshewasnolongersurethatthatwastherightthingtodo—whatiftheattemptprovedlethal?
Hawkefrownedwhenhesawher.“What’sthematter?”
Asenseofpurestrength,unvarnisheddominance,cameoverher.Itdidn’tfeellikeher—asherpreviousepisodeshadn’tfeltlikeher.Shakingoffherpanicthatthemadnesswasreturning,shesaid,“Nothing.”
“Comeon,darling,youdoingokay?”Aroughquestion.
Sheputherarmsaroundhim.“Ineedahug.”Heimmediatelygaveherwhatshewanted.Shesniffed,knowingthiswasasideofHawkethesoldiermalesandfemalesneversaw.“CanIaskyousomething?”
Herubbedahandoverherback.“Goon.”
“Whyhaven’tyoutakenamate?”
Hewentstillaroundher.“Wheredidthatcomefrom?”
“Thesubjectofmating’sbeenonmymind,”shesaidtruthfully.“Igottothinkingwhatagoodmateyou’dmake,butonlyforawomantoughenoughtotakeyouon.”Hewasanalphawolfandhecouldgetbrutal,butshesomehowknewhe’dneverharmahaironhismate’shead.JustlikeherfallenArrow.
“Youknowmatingisn’tthatsimple.”
Sheknew.Thesamewaysheknewthatsomethingwas“missing”betweenherandJudd,somethingimportant.Yethewashers.Sherefusedtobelievehewasn’thermate.“Lotsofpeopletakepermanentpartnerswhentheydon’tfindamatebyacertainage.”Matingwasamagical,wonderfulthing,butfulfillingrelationshipscouldbehadasidefromit.
Hawkechuckled.“I’monlythirty-two,notquiteinmydotage.”
Shesnarledsoftly.“That’snotwhatImeantandyouknowit.Ihearthewomentalking,youknow.Theysayyoudon’tevenattempttoformlong-termrelationships,thatassoonasanyonetriestogetevenalittlepossessive,youmoveon.”
“ShouldItellyouthisisnoneofyourbusiness?”
Shehuggedhimharder.“Itis,too.”Asheralpha,hebelongedtoherasmuchasthepackbelongedtohim.“IwantyoutobehappyandIdon’tthinkyouare.”Maybebecauseshewashurtingsobadlyherself.TheideaofalifewithoutJuddwasanightmare.
Hawkedidn’trespondforalongtime.“Shewastwoyearsoldwhenwemet.Iwasseven.Iknewshewasmybestfriendstraightaway.AsIgotolder,Ialsoknewshewouldgrowuptobecomemymate.”
Brennadidn’twanthimtocontinue,ahorriblefeelinginthepitofherstomach—sheknewwhathadhappenedtoSnowDancertwodecadesago,thebloodshed,theloss.SheheldontoHawke,heldonhard,tryingtoanchorhimwiththebondsofPack.
“Shefitmeinawaynooneelseeverwill.AndshediedwhenshewasfiveandIwasten.”
Asingletearrolleddownherface.Shewishedanythingthatshecouldturnbacktimeandsavethatlife,becausematingwasaone-shotdeal.ThoughHawkehadbeentooyoungforthebondtoactuallymaterialize,hehadfoundthewomanwhowasmeantforhim.Thatdidn’thappentwice.“I’msosorry.”
“I’velearnedtolivewithit.”Henuzzledthetopofherheadwithhischin.“Butyoudon’thaveto.Ifyou’vematedwithJudd,youwon’tgetanyshitfromme.”
Shecouldn’tadmittohimthatshefeltonlyadullemptinesswherethematingbondshould’vebeen.Itwasn’tfair—shelovedJudd.Whydidn’therwolfrecognizehimashermate?Takingadeepbreath,shepulledoutofHawke’shold.“Iwon’ttellanyone.”
Heusedathumbtowipethetearoffherface.“Idon’tevenknowwhyItoldyou.”Hesoundedbemused.“You’redangerous.”
Shechokedoutalaugh.“No.Ijusthavethebadhabitofcaringformenwhocan’tseemtocareforthemselves.”
“SpeakingofthedamnPsy,whereishe?Ineedhimtositinonameeting.”
“He’ssomewhereclose,”shesaid,knowingherdarkangelwaswatchingoverher.“CanIaskwhatthemeeting’sabout?”
“ThecatsthinktheyhavesomethingonthePsywhohitDawnSky.Thehyenaleaderknewnothingaboutit—itwasafullyPsyraid.”Hisvoicehaddropped,becomelethalinitsquietness.“Goddamnbastardskilledchildren.”
“Ihopeyouripouttheirgutswhilethey’restillbreathing.”
Hawke’sgrinwasferal.“That’swhyIlikeyou,Bren.You’remorewolfthangirl.”
Heshouldn’thaveusedthecode.He’dbeenoverconfident.NowRileywasquestioningallhistopmen.Soonerorlater,theyweregoingtofigureoutthathehadn’tbeenwherehewassupposedtohavebeenthedayAndrewgotshot.
Itdidn’tmatter.AslongasBrennawasn’taroundtopointthefinger,they’dneverbeabletoprovethathe’ddoneanythingmorethanbreakwatchwithoutauthorization.
Nomorefuckingaround.Today,hefinishedit.CHAPTER40
Juddtookhispositionagainstthewallinthemeetingroom,impatienttogetthisoverwithsohecouldreturntoBrenna.Ofcoursehewouldn’tapproachher,buthecouldkeepaneyeonherfromadistance.Hiswell-honedinstinctswerescreamingathimbynow,tellinghimthatdangerwasonlyaheartbeataway.
Ifhecould,he’dlockherinforsafety.Butthatwouldkillherassurelyasmurder.
I’mnevergoingtobeputinaboxagain…
No,hecouldn’tdothattoher.
“We’relive,”Indigosaidasthehugecommscreenatoneendoftheroomcameon.Lucasappearedon-screen,flankedbyDorianandMercy,muchasIndigoandJuddflankedHawke.
TheleopardalphametJudd’seyes,raisedaneyebrow,thenturnedtoHawke.“Soyoufinallydidsomethingabouthim.Aboutbloodytime.”
JuddshiftedtobringLucas’sattentionbacktohim.“I’dsaywecametoamutualunderstanding.”
Itwasn’tLucaswhospokenextbutDorian.“SohowdoesaPsylieutenanthunt?”
Hemettheleopard’sbrightbluegaze.“Veryquietly.”
“Sodosnipers.”Dorian’sexpressionwascalculating.“Weshouldtalk.”
“Imightneedasparringpartner.”IfhesucceededinbreakingSilence,physicalcontactinanotherarenamightservetobluntthetrulydarkaspectofhisabilitiesaroundBrenna.Becausenomatterwhathappened,hewaswhathewas.Killingwasbuiltintohisgenes.
“Karate?”Thosecompletelyhuman-seemingeyesbrightenedininterest.
“Katana.”
“Hotdamn.Let’sdoit.”
Lucascoughed.“Ifyoutwohavestoppedflirting,wehavebusinesstodiscuss.”
Indigogrinnedbutstayedsilent.Mercywasn’tsoreticent.“Sothat’swhatittakestogetintoDorian’spants.I’llletthesentinel-chasersknow.”Herpackmate’sgrowlonlywidenedhersmirk.
HawkenoddedatLucas.“Yougotsomething?”
“Wethinkwe’vetrackeddowntheassassinswhohitDawnSky.”
Allamusementfadedfromtheair.JuddlookedatLucas.“Areyoucertain?ItoldyouthatuniformiswornbyeverymemberofthePsyforceunderMingLeBon’scommand.”
“That’stheproblem,”Lucasconceded.“We’venarroweditdowntoaspecificsquad,buttherearefiftyofthem.SixPsywerespottedduringtheattack.”
Dorianshrugged,nomercyinhisface.“Youknowmyopinion—gutthemall.”
“Wedothat,it’sadeclarationofwar.”Lucas’stonesaidhewouldn’tmindgoinghead-to-headwiththePsy.“Butthat’swhattheywant—it’llgivethemanexcusetocomedownhardonallchangelinggroupsinthearea.Apinpointhitwilldeliverourmessagefarmoreaccurately.”
JuddknewLucaswasright.“Imaybeabletogetyouthedata.”
Everyonelookedathim.
“IhavecontactsintheNet.”Heletthatsinkin,letthemjudgehisloyalties.“NoteveryoneishappywithhowtheCouncilisrunningthings.”
Hawkeglancedathim,thengaveasmallnod.Aconcessionoftrust.“Backupplan,”thealphasaidtoLucas,“wetakeouttheexactnumberofPsywhoattackedthedeer.”
“That’llmakethepointwithalittlelessfinesse,butyeah,itcouldwork.”Lucastappedhisfingeronthedarkwoodofthetablehesatat.“I’vebeenthinkingabouttheirtactics—tryingtoturnthepacksagainsteachother.”
“SohaveI,”Hawkesaid.“Theyhavetohaveuseditbefore,andsuccessfully,totrythegameonus.”
Lucas’sfacialmarkingswentwhiteagainsthisskin.“Doesn’tsaymuchaboutourintelligenceifwecanbeworkedsoeasily.”
“Weweren’t.Butweakerpackswouldbe.”
“You’retoodivided,”Juddbrokein.“It’sthefirstlessonPsysoldierslearn.Don’ttrytotakeoutchangelings—getthemtotakeouteachother.”
SomeonegrowledandJuddwasn’tsurethatthatprimalsoundhadn’tcomefromoneofthefemininethroats.HerememberedhowBrennagrowledathimwhenhegothermad.Herwolfsidefascinatedhim—helikedseeingherclaws.
“Letmeguess,”Hawkesaid,“before,theCouncilkepttheirinterferenceminimalinthisregionbecauseSnowDancerandDarkRiverkepteachotherincheck.”
Juddnodded.“Yes.Andifthecomputerattackdoesn’tsucceedinwarningthemoff,they’llkeeppickingawayatyouandyournonpredatoryallies—untilyourpowerbaseiserodedtothepointofnonexistence.Thenthey’lllaunchaquietoffensivetoinstallCouncil-friendlypacksinplaceofyourformerallies.”
Hislastwordshadtheeffectofabomb.Questionscameathimfromeveryangleuntilheraisedapalmforsilence.“Yes,”hesaid.“TherearepacksthathavemadeagreementswiththeCouncilformoney,land,orsimplyimmunityfromPsystrikes.”
“SoevenifwesetupsomesortofchainofcommunicationtopreventthePsyfromstartinganotherterritorialwar”—Hawke’sfacewaswolf-sharp—“wehavenowayofknowingwho’ssnitchingtotheCouncil?”
“I’doperateontheassumptionthateverythingyousayisbeingreportedback.”
“Thatcanbeturnedtoouradvantage,”Lucaspointedout.
Hawkenodded.“Afterwerunthisnextop,weneedtotalkabouthowtofixourlinesofcommunication—packscan’tremainisolatedfromeachotheranymore.Notifwe’regoingtosurvivethePsyCouncil.”
ThemeetingbrokeupsoonafterwardandJuddimmediatelycontactedtheGhost.Becausehedidn’twanttoleavetheden,hetookthechanceofsendingacodedmessageaskingforacallonasecureline.TheGhostrespondedwithinseconds.“Thiscallshouldbeuntraceable,butwecan’ttalkforlong.”
“Understood.”JuddlaidoutthesituationwiththedeerandthePsywithoutmentioningeitherDarkRiverorSnowDancer.Justashedidn’tknowtheGhost’sidentity,theGhosthadnoknowledgeofwhereJuddwentafterheleftthechurch.
“Youneedthenamesoftheexactofficers?”
“Canyougetthem?”
“I’llhavetobreakintoasecurePsyNetdatabase,butthatshouldn’tposeaproblemunlesstheinformationhasbeenhighlyclassified.Iassumeyoudon’twanttotalktothesemen?”
Judddidn’tanswerbecausenoanswerwasneeded.
“Mygoalistohelpmypeople,”theGhostsaidinthechilltoneofaPsyfullyenmeshedinSilence,“notsellthemout.Imaybearevolutionary,butIamnotatraitor.”
“Tofightanevilthatbutchersinnocentwomenandchildrenisn’ttreason.”
“Iagree—atleastinthissituation.Killingthosedeerwasakintotakingoutthemosthelplessciviliansinawarnooneknowsistakingplace.”
“Casebycase?Fine.Yourconsciencewilltellyouwheretogo.”
“Ihavenoconscience,Judd.”TheGhost’svoicedropped.“I’vegotsomuchbloodstainingthesehandsnothingwilleverwashitaway.”
“Thefuturemightsurpriseyou.”Itsureashellhadshockedhim.“Andifyoudon’thaveaconscience,whydidyoubecomearevolutionary?”
“PerhapsIwanttograbpowerformyself.”
“No.”Ofthathewascertain.“YoudoitbecauseyouseewhattheCouncilisturningthePsyintoandyouknowitisn’tright.Wewerethegreatestofracesonceuponatime,thetrue—andjust—leadersoftheworld.”
“Doyouthinkwecanhavethatbackagain?”
“No.”Theworldhadchanged,thehumansandchangelingsgaininginstrengthwiththepassageoftime.“Butwecanbecomesomethingevenbetter.Wecanbecomefree.”
Brennawasfixingsomekindofasmallcomputronicdevicewhenhefoundherinherquarters.“Judd,”shesaid,puttingdownhertools.“Youcan’tbehere.Thedissonance—”
Heinterruptedherpanickedwords.“Ineedtoaskyousomethingimportant.”
“Whatcouldbemoreimportantthanyourlife?”Shesoundedclosetotears.
“Yourlife.Ifyoudie,Idon’tknowifI’dstaysane.”Asimpletruth.
Herhandstrembledassheliftedthemtopushbackherhair.“Askyourquestion.”
“Theferocitywithwhichtheshooterisstalkingyouarguesforadeepermotivethanthefactthathethinksyou’llremembersomethingaboutTim’sdeath.”Finally,heknewhewasontherightpath.“Youknowsomethingelsehe’sscaredyou’llreveal.”
“Tim’sdeathhastobeit.Itwouldmeanadeathsentenceforhim.”
“But,Brenna,heknowsyoudidn’tseeanything.”Heleanedforwardbutcaughthimselfbeforehetouchedher.Evenso,hefeltthestartofanosebleed.HemanagedtostopitwithTk,butitwouldn’tlast.“HeplannedTim’sdeathtotheletter,madesuretherewasnotraceevidence,notrail,andnoeyewitnesses.Heknowshedidn’tbetrayhimself.”
“Maybehe’scrazy.Likeyou!”Hernostrilsflared.“DoyouthinkIcan’tsmellyoubleeding?”
Hefocusedonthefirstpartofherstatement.“He’sactingwithtoomuchlogictobecrazy.Think,Brenna,whatelsecouldyouknow?”
“Nothing!”Shethrewupherhands.“Iwasinhealingformonths,thenIwasbeingbabysatbyDrewandRiley.Andyou,cometothinkofit.I’mstillbeingoverprotected!”
Juddfelticecrawldownhisspineashisbrainmadetheconnectionthathadbeeneludingitfordays.“ThedayofTim’smurderwaswhenyoustartedactingout—notfollowingorders,behavingaggressively.”
“Iwasbehavingnormally,”sheretorted.
“Yes.”Hemethereyes.“Forthefirsttimesinceyourabduction,youbehavedassomeonefullyhealedwouldbehave.”
Brennafrowned.“Judd,you’regoingtohavetospellitoutformebeforeyoubleedtodeathonmyfloor.”Despitethesharpwords,herworryforhimwasawoundinhereyes.
“Brenna,whathappenedthedayEnriquekidnappedyou?”
“Whyareyouaskingmethat?”shesnapped.“YouknowIdon’tremember.”
“Whynot?Youremembereverythingelse.”Everycut,everyblow,everyhurt.
“Shock.”Shehuggedherself.“That’swhatthehealerssaid.”
“Yourpackfoundevidenceofanunknownvanintheareaatthetime.”
“Enriquemust’veknockedmeoutsomehow.”Herfrownremindedhimthatthey’dgoneoverthistopicmanytimes.“I’dnevergetintoavanwithastranger.”
“No,youwouldn’t.”
“Then,why—”Horrorbloomedonherface.“No,”shewhispered,rockingbackandforth.“No,you’rewrong.”
JuddwantedtobewrongifitwouldwipethatlookoffBrenna’sface.He’dbeenblindedbyherloyaltytothepackwhenthey’dfirstbroachedthistopicandevennowhadnotevenashredofevidencetosupporthistheory,buthehadinstinct.ThedetailsofthekidnappingweretheonethingBrenna,andonlyBrenna,knewabout.
Itmadefarmoresensethanherbeingtargetedbecauseofthestatementshe’dmadeaboutTim’smurder.She’dbeenopenlyshakenatthetime,andasmartwolfcouldhavetalkedhiswayaroundanythingsheclaimedtohaveseen.Butwithhergone,noonewouldeverbeabletoprovewhatJuddnowsuspected—thatafellowwolf,apackmate,hadsoldherouttoSantanoEnrique…tobebutcheredlikesomuchmeat.CHAPTER41
Nikitauploadedthedatacrystalshe’dreceivedthatmorningontoacomputerinherpenthousesuite.Thecrystalheldafileshe’dpaidapremiumamounttoacquire.Hercontacthadconsidereditlittleenoughcompensationforputtinghislife,andhissanity,ontheline.Nikitahadhadtoagree.Kaleb’slittlegift—itwasrumoredhehadtheabilitytocausepermanentinsanity—madeeventhemostexperiencedofthemreconsider.
Thefilefinishedloading.ItwasseveralpageslongandstampedwiththesealofthetrainingfacilitywhereKalebhadbeenplacedatagethree,whenhe’dfirstbegunexhibitinghisconsiderabletelekineticstrength.Aswasusual,thejuvenilefileshadbeensealedatKaleb’smajority,whichwaswhyshe’dhadsuchtroublegettingthem…andwhyshehadn’tknownthenameofKaleb’strainer:SantanoEnrique.
Filingawaythatunexpectedpieceofdata,shescrolleddown.Shesoonbegantonoticeoddgapsintherecord.Therewasacontinuousaccountingofhisprogressuptoagesevenyears,fourmonths,butthenextentrydidn’tappearuntilagesevenyears,sevenmonths.WhathadKalebbeendoingintheinterveningthreemonths?Againandagain,thepatternrepeateditself.Thegapswerehighlyirregular.Traininglogsweremeanttobekeptstrictlyup-to-date.
Sherestartedfromthebeginningandimmediatelynoticedasecondpatternhiddeninthefirst.EachgapinthelogappearedoneweektothedayafterKalebhadhadapersonaltrainingsessionwithEnrique.Withanyothertrainer,itwould’vebeenacauseforconcern,butnotamajorproblemoverall.
However,SantanoEnriquehadbeennoordinarycardinal.He’dbeenanexceptionallyhigh-functioningsociopath,oneofthesmallminoritywhoseaberrantbrainpatternshadbeengivenfreelicensebySilence.EnriquehadescapedalltheproceduressetinplacetodetectsuchanomalousmindsandbecomeCouncil.NowitappearedthatKalebhadbeenfarmorethanmerelyEnrique’sstudent.He’dbeenhisprotégé.
TheNetMind’srecentslewoffragmentedreports,especiallyinrelationtotheunknownserialkiller,tookonanewimplicationinlightofthisinformation.Thelasttimetheyhadhadsuchproblems,theNetMindhadbeenunderEnrique’scontrol.
Returningtothefile,shesawthatKaleb’spowerarchadalsobeenunusual.Mostcardinalsfollowedasteadyandpredictableprogressionfromungovernedandunreliabletototalcontrol.Herdaughter,Sascha,ofcourse,hadbeenadifferentstory.ItwouldhavebeenfareasierforNikitatoterminatethefetusassoonastheinvitropsychictestsshowedthenear-certainpresenceoftheEdesignation.Itwas,infact,whattheCouncilhadorderedintheearlyyearsofSilence.TheabilityofE-Psytohealemotionalwoundshadbeenconsideredredundantinaracethathadnoemotion.
Adecadelater,theyhaddiscoveredtheCorrelationConcept—adirectifnotscientificallyprovablerelationshipbetweenthenumberoflatentE-Psyandtheoverallstabilityofthepopulace.Insimpleterms,thefewertheE-Psy,themorecasesofsociopathyandinsanity.NowE-Psywerebroughttofulltermandforcedtocontaintheirabilitiesunderseveralundocumentedlayersofconditioning.ThatwaswhathadledtoSascha’sirregulardevelopment.
NothinglikethatcouldaccountforthenatureofKaleb’spsychicgrowth.Attenyearsofage,he’dbeenasfocusedasanadult.Hisconcentrationhadn’tlapsedduringtheoccasionallyproblematicperiodofadolescence,butevidencedasharpdeclineatagesixteen.Thatwouldhavebeenacauseforsevereconcern,exceptthatKalebhadstabilizedwithinthemonth.Despiteconsiderabletesting,theM-Psyhadbeenunabletofindanyevidenceofpsychicorphysicaltraumathatcouldaccountforhisrelapse.Intheendithadbeennoteddownasadelayedadolescentreaction.
Nikitahadreasontodisagreewiththatdiagnosis.ClosingKaleb’sfile,shepulledupanother.IthadbeenopenedaftertheCouncilbecameawareofEnrique’ssociopathichistory.Theywereusingalloftheirresourcestomakealistofpastmurdersthatmayhavebeencommittedbythenow-deadCouncilor—incasehe’dleftbehindevidenceasidefromanypossessedbythechangelings.Looseendshadtobestifledbeforetheyspoke.
Shescannedthelisttheyhadtodateandfounditatonce.Achangelingfemale—aswan—haddisappearedsevendaysbeforeKaleb’sloggeddecline.Andthedeclinehadbegunapproximatelytwenty-fourhoursafterKalebreturnedfromoneofthoseunexplainedabsences,likelytimeswhenhe’dbeenwithEnrique.
Notaprotégé.Anaccomplice.
ThiscouldbecomeaproblematicissueifKalebeverlostcontrolofhismurderousappetites.Untilthen,she’dcontinueworkingwithhim.EveryoneoftheCouncilorswasakillerinsomeform.Kalebsimplydidhiskillinginalesssanctionedway.CHAPTER42
Anhourafterhe’dbeenforcedtoleaveadistraughtBrenna—she’dthrownhimoutwhenhisnosestartedbleedingopenly—JuddreceivedtheencryptedmessagefromtheGhost.Asimplelist.Sixnames.
HecalledBrenna,audioonly.Thesightoftearsonherfacewasdisturbingtohissenses.“I’mleavingmywatchoutsideyourdoor.Riley’ssendingareplacement.”He’dalreadyspokentoherbrotherabouthissuspicionsandtheothermanwaspullingtogetherdutyandleaverostersfromthetimeofBrenna’sabduction.Thedatawouldhelpnarrowtheirsuspectbase,butJudd’ssenseofurgencysaiditwouldn’tbefastenough.
“Ihopethebastarddoestryformeagain—Iwanttoflayhimalive.”Therewerenotears,onlyalacingofthemostunadulteratedanger.
“Becarefulofeveryone.”Rileyhadsettasksfarfromthedenforthoseontheirshortlistofsuspects,butthekillercouldalwayssneakbackin.Itwasalsopossiblethathe’dgainedunauthorizedaccesstotheclassifiedcodeandwasn’tasoldieratall.
“Iwill.Hasthebleedingstopped?”
“Yes,”hesaidandendedthecall.Nottechnicallyalie.Hisnosewasn’tbleedinganymore,butotherthingsinsidehimwere.
D’ArnsoonarrivedtotakeoverthewatchandJuddlefttodeliverthenamestoHawke.HewasalmosttherewhenhesawSiennalimpingoutofatrainingroom.Shehadabruiseonhercheekandherlipwaspromisingtoswell.Afewmonthsago,he’dhavediscoveredthenameoftheperpetratorandtakencareofit.ThatwasbeforeHawke—withJuddandWalker’scooperation—hadthrownSiennaintoatrainingprogramdesignedtoturnherfrom“tamehousecat”towolf.“DidyoutrytotakeonIndigoagain?”
Sienna’sjawbecameanobstinateline.“Shekeepsmakingmedoexercisesoverandover.Iwantedabout.”
“Andlookwhereitgotyou.”Indigowalkedoutofthesameroom.DressedinlooseblackpantsandagrayT-shirt,shedidn’thavesomuchasahairoutofplace.“Goodforme,though—helpedworkoutthefrustrationfromthecrapI’mwadingthrough.”
Heknewshewasreferringtothedrugsituation,whichshewasnowfocusingonasRileytookoverthemurderinvestigation.“Thatbad?”
“Notifyoucompareittotheoutsideworld,butIcan’tbelievehowanyofthatpoisongotinhereinthefirstplace.We’reagoddamnpack.Welookoutforoneanother,getourstrengthfrompackloyalty,not—”SheglancedatSienna’sinterestedexpression.“I’llfillyouinlater.”
Juddwaiteduntilthelieutenanthadleftbeforespeaking.“Whydon’tyoufollowIndigo’strainingadvice?”
Thosenight-skyeyesflashed.“TheytreatmelikeI’mapup!I’macardinalwhocouldkillthemwithonepsychichitandtheyexpectmetodophysicalexercisesmoresuitableforachild!”
Heletherblowoffsteam—forsomereason,Sienna’sconditioninghadbeguntofailalmostimmediatelyupondefection.Thatwasgoingtobecomeasevereproblem,becauseherabilitieswereaslethalasshebelieved.Maybemoreso.
“You’renolongerinthepsychicworld,”hetoldher,hardeninghistone.“Andthefactthatthisisaphysicalissueisanexcuse.Youhavethesamedifficultyfollowingordersinpsychictraining.”
Hereyesnarrowed.“Maybebecauseyoutreatmelikeachild,too.”
“Whydoyouthinkthatis,Sienna?”Hefoldedhisarms—thiswasimportant.Familywasimportant.ItformedthebasisofPack.Brennawouldn’tthankhimifheneglectedhisresponsibilitiesinthisarena,nomatterhisneedtoreturntoher.“You’reacardinal,youshouldbeabletoworkthatout.”
Asullensilence.Hedidn’tunderstandwhatwasgoingonwithhisniece—shewasthemostunpredictableofthethreeminorsintheLaurenfamily.Itmadenosense,notwhenshe’dbeenarcticinheremotionlessnessintheNet,enoughsothatshehadalreadybegunreceivingplacementoffers.OneoverturehadcomefromMingLeBonhimself.
“Buildingblocks,”hesaidwhenshemaintainedthatobduratesilence.“Withoutastrongbase,you’llcrumblethefirsttimeyoumeetsomeonesmartenoughtoworkoutyourlackofafoundation.”
Sheswallowedandlookedhimintheeye.“I’mseventeennow.Whywon’tanyonetreatmelikeit?Thewolvesgettreatedbetter!”
“It’snotdiscriminationandyouknowit.It’sthefactthatyoucan’tfolloworders,andrightnow,youcan’tevendefendyourselfwithoutkillingsomeone.”
“You’renotsogoodatfollowingorderseither!”
Hewaited.
“I’mnotanidiot,”shemuttered.“IknowyouwereanArrowandIknowArrowsaretoovaluabletobesentencedtorehabilitation.”
Hertonedaredhimtodisagree,remindinghimofanotherstrong-willedfemale.“And?”Hehadtoidentifywhatsheknewbeforeheanswered.
“Theymust’vehadsomeplanforyoutoescaperehabilitation.”Shesquaredherslendershoulders.“Anewidentity,something!”
“ThesentencewasforeveryoneintheLaurenfamily,”hesaid,acceptingthatshedeservedtobetreatedasanadultatleastinthis.Todoanythingelsewoulddisrespectherintelligenceandspirit.
“Why?”sheinterruptedbeforehecouldanswer.“Iknowmymothercommittedsuicideandwehadsomeincidentsofinstabilityinthefamily,butwhysentenceusall?”
Yes,shewassmart.“We’reverystrongasagroup,Sienna.BeforeKristine’sdeath,wehadthreecardinals.”Thatdidn’tcounthis,Walker’s,orMarlee’sconsiderablepowers.“Wethreatenedsomeonepowerfulenoughtogetuswipedout.”
“Ifigured…”Shelookedup.“Andyou?”
“Mynamewasremovedfromthefamilyregisteratageten.”Theageatwhichhe’dfirstkilled.“Mybirthcertificatedoesn’texist,nordoanymedicalrecordsasidefromthoseinthesquadfiles.”IncludingaDNAprofilethatwouldsendupaclassifiedredflagifhewasevertyped.“AsfarasthegeneralNetisconcerned,Idon’texist.”NoArrowdid.“Therewasnoneedforanewidentity.Iwasn’tconsideredaLauren.”
Hereyeswidened.“Thenwhydefect?”shewhispered.“Youwalkedintowhatshouldhavebeencertaindeath.”
Lookingintothatbruised,confusedface,hedecidedtotellherthetruth.BecauseSienna’sabilities,whileverydifferentfromhisown,sprangfromthesamedarkcore.“Thereisalinethat,oncecrossed,canneverbeuncrossed.”Hereachedouttotouchherhair.Thedarkredstrandsweresoftunderhisfingertips.Itwasthefirsttimehe’devertouchedherinanythingotherthantraining.
“IfIhadletyoualldiewhileIremainedsafe,itwould’vepushedmeoverthatline.”Becausethey’dbeenunderhiscare.Hemighthavebeenwipedfromtheofficialrecords,buthe’dalwaysexistedtoWalker,Sienna,Marlee,Toby…andKristine.She’dbeenhissisterandmothertothispowerfulgirl.Butunlikehertenacious,headstrongdaughter,KristinehadbrokenirrevocablyunderSilence.
Sienna’sfaceturnedheartbreakinglyfragile.Shegaveatinyjerkforwardbeforestopping.AndbecauseofBrenna,heunderstood.Ignoringthedamageitmightcause,hetuggedherintotheenclosureofhisarms.Shewasfrozenforalongtimeandthenhewassureshecried.Asheheldher,hefeltthings,hisshieldingclosetonil.Warmth,affection…theprotectiveloveofabrotherforhislostsister’schild.SiennalookedsomuchlikeKristine,butuntilthismoment,hehadn’tacknowledgedthepainthatcausedhim.Thedissonancewasanexcruciatingsymphonyofspikedhammersinhishead.
“Doesithurt?”heasked,suddenlyawarethatthatmightexplainsomeofSienna’sbehavior.Shehadmartialtalentslikehim,andunlikeeitherFaithorSascha.FromeverythingheknewabouthowtheothertwowomenhadbrokenSilence,hewasalmostcertainthatmartialmindswereconditionedinauniqueway—particularlywhenitcametothestrengthofthedissonance.“ThefragmentationofSilence,doesithurt?”
Aslownod.“Ican’tbelikebefore,butit’sasthoughmymindwantstoforceme.”Hervoicewasmuffledagainsthischest,butheheardtheincrediblepaininit.
Itputthefinalsealonthedecisionhe’dmadeinthepredawndarknessafterleavingBrenna,devastatinglyawarethathecouldn’tgiveherwhatsheneededtofeelsafeandhappy.Itbrokesomethinginhimtofailherthatway.“I’llfigureoutawaytoundothepainprotocols.”
“Youknowwecan’t.”Awhisper.“YouandI…weneedthepaintoremindustokeepitundercontrol.”
It
Theirdifferentbutequallydestructiveabilities.“Maybewecanmakenewrulesforanewlife.”
“Whatifitdoesn’twork?”shewhispered.“Whatifwehurtpeople?”
Imagesofbloodiedandtwistedbodiescascadedthroughhismind.“Wewon’t.”Heonlyhopedhewouldbeabletokeephispromise…andthatBrennawouldn’tpaytheultimatepriceforchoosingtogiveherhearttoarebelArrow.CHAPTER43
HewassweatingIthadtakenhimtwohourstoreturntothedenafterRileyhadsenthimonsomebogustrainingexercise.AfterBrennawasdead,he’dreturntowherehewassupposedtobewithoutanyonebeingthewiser.Theperfectalibi.
HeglancedathiswatchandthenatBrenna’sdoor.D’Arnwasleaningagainstthewall,butthekillerdidn’tmakethemistakeofassumingtheothersoldierwasn’tawareofeverythinggoingonaroundhim.Sights,sounds,smells.Itwaswhyhe’dchosenthishidingspot,inthewrongdirectionfortheaircurrentstocarryhisscent.
Allheneededwasthreesecondswiththatbitchwhojustwouldn’tdie.
Heglancedathiswatchagain,knowinghe’dnevergetabetterchance.ThePsywasgoneandifD’Arnfellforthedistraction,Brennawouldbealoneforatleastonecrucialminute.Morethanenoughtimetotakecareofbusiness.Anotherglanceathiswatch.
Five,four,three,two…one.
D’Arnjerkedtoastandingalertasthealarmblaredthroughtheden.Codedforsound,thisonescreamedthatsomethinghadhappenedinthenursery,somethingbadenoughtorequirethedeclarationofafullemergency.
Thekillersmiled.Hehadplacedthecrudebombtomaximizechaos—bycollapsingtheentrancetothenursery—buthadtriedtoensurenoneofthepupswouldbehurt.Hewasn’tamonster.
D’Arnstartedtoruninthedirectionofthenursery,thenhesitated.Brenna’sdooropened.“Go!”sheyelled.“I’mrightbehindyou.I’mpartofthecommteam.”
Thekillerknewthat,hadseentheemergencyroster.Brennawouldnowzipbackinsidetograbheremergencycommunicationsequipmentbeforeracingtothecommandcentertodirectoperationsinsidetheden.
“Move!”Sheslammedherdoor,butthekillerknewshewouldn’thavestoppedtolockit.Ifshehad,he’dgetherasshewalkedout,herconcentrationelsewhere.
D’Arntookoffatarun,hisinstincttoprotecttheyoungoverwhelmingeverythingelse.Itwaswhatthekillerhadcountedon.ThePsywereright—emotionsmadechangelingsweak,opentomanipulation.
HesteppedoutasD’Arndisappearedaroundthecorner.Hehadaveryshortwindowofopportunity—toobadhewouldn’tbeabletochokethelifeoutofherashe’dplanned.HepalmedthepressureinjectorfullofonehundredpercentRushandreachedforthedoorknob.Itturnedwithoutresistance.
Onemoresecondanditwouldbegood-bye,BrennaShaneKincaid.CHAPTER44
Juddwasrunningfull-tilttothenursery,Hawkeathisside,whenhisphonebegantobeepinanintense,irregularpattern.
ItwaslinkedtothealarmonBrenna’sdoor.
Screechingtoastop,heusedeverytrickhehadtofocusdespitethenumberofbodiesmovingpasthim.Onesecond.Two.Toodamnslow.There.Heteleportedout.Brenna’sdoorwasclosed.HepulleditoffusingTkandsentthewidepieceofplascretesmashingintothecorridor,nearlymowingdownanotherSnowDancersoldier.
Brennawasonthefloor,bleedingfromcutsonherlipandcheek.Hewenttopickupherattackerandthrowhimintothewall,butsheshookherheadslightly.Hefroze.ThemanwhirledtofaceJudd,buthenevergotthechancetospeak.Brennasweptoutalegandsmashedhimtothegroundbeforejumpingonhisbackandswipingherclawsdownhardenoughtorevealflashesofbone.
Thekillerscreamed.
Juddputhiminatelekineticchokehold.“Youdon’thavetherighttoscream.”
Brennalookedupasthemangurgled,desperatetobreathe.“Youwereright—hewasthere.”Aferalsnarlassheheldhimdown.“HewasthereasonIgotintothatvan.Heofferedmearide.”Grippingherattacker’shair,shejerkedbackhishead.“Letthebastardspeak.”
Juddreleasedhishold,awareofothersarrivingatthescene.“Icantearhismindopen,downloadeverythingheknows.Ofcourse,he’llbeadroolingmessbytheend.”
Brenna’scaptivecoughedandtriedtospeak.“No.I’lltalk.”
Brennajerkedhishairharder.“Sotalk,Dieter.”
TherewasnomercyinherandJuddapproved.Thismanhadusedhispositiontopreyonthosewhotrustedhim.JuddrememberedhimsquattingbesideTimothy’sdeadbody,pretendingtohelp,tellingthemhowperfecttheroomwasifyouwantedtosurreptitiouslydisposeofabody,howthekillerhadtobesomeonesmart.
“Imethimafewmonthsbeforeyougottaken,”hecoughedout,“SantanoEnrique.”
Someonehissedinthedoorway,soundingmorecatthanwolf.
Brennadugherclawsintohisshoulder,scrapingbone.Dieter’sscreamwashighandshrill,risingabovetheshriekoftheemergencyalarm,butshekepthimconscious.“Didyougivemeuptohim?”
“Yes.”DietercoughedupbloodandJuddrealizedhewascrushingtheman’sinternalorgans.Heforcedhimselftopullback.ThiswasBrenna’sfight.
“Why?”Betrayallacedhervoice.“Youweremybrothers’friend.YouwerePack.”
“Itwasastraightbusinessdeal.HegavemeRushatareallowprice.Mademerich.”Dieterdidn’ttryforBrenna’ssympathy,asifheknewhe’dgetnone.“Allhewantedwasafavornowandthen.”
“Likepickingmeuponthewaytoclass,”Brennawhispered,toneraw.“LiketellingmeIwasneededattheden.DidhecomebackfromthegraveandaskyoutoshootAndrew,too?”Hernextmovewassofast,Juddalmostmissedit.ShesmashedDieter’sfacetothefloor,hardenoughtocauseunconsciousnessbutnotdeath.Thealarmcutoffatthatsameinstant.
Gettingup,shewipedthebloodoffhermouthwiththebackofherhand.“Elias,Sing-Liu,”shesaidtothetwosoldierswho’dstoppedinthedoorway,“takehimtothelockup.”
Juddblockedthedoorway.“I’lltakehim.”
Brennagrowled.“You’llkillhim.WeneedtoknowwhathefedEnrique.”
“Icangetthat.”Juddcouldalmosttastetheman’sdeathonhislips.
“HisexecutionbelongstoTim’sfamily.”Shesteppedaroundthebodytofacehim.“Timdied.Ididn’t.”
Bloodforlife.Lifeforlife.Changelingjustice.
ButJuddwasn’tchangeling.Dieter’sheartpulsedinhispsychichold.Justone—Brennagrippedthefrontofhisshirt.“Stop.”
Hestaredather.“No.”Hismindrecognizedkilling,wasdrawntothetasteofit.
Shekissedhim,bitdownhardonhislowerlip.Dissonancecrashedintohim,combiningwiththesensorypleasure,theiron-richtasteofblood,andthehungerforviolence.Itscrambledhispathwaysforaninstant.Thatinstantwasenough.Whenshedrewback,hewasstillhomicidal,buthecouldthinkpastit.“You’reright.Weneedtoknowwhatheknows.I’lltakehim.”
Thistime,shedidn’ttrytostophimashehauledthechangelingoverhisshoulderandstrodeout,Eliasbyhisside.TheothermankeptgrowlinglowinhisthroatuntilJudddumpedDieterinthelockupandsecuredthedoor.“Doesheneedahealer?”Juddwantedhimveryaliveforthequestioning.
Elias’seyeswereflat.“Heneedstobedead,butI’llcallLara.Itmightbeawhileiftherewereinjuriesinthenursery.”
JuddhadforgottenthealarmintheemotionalchaosoftheattackonBrenna.“Areyoucapableofguardinghim?Iknowhewasyourfriend.”
“Iwanttotearhimtopieces.”Hisclawswereout.“ButIwon’tlethimdie—Tim’sfamilydeservesthehonorofrippinghistwo-facedheartfromhisfuckingchest.”
Acceptingthat,JuddlefttoreturntoBrenna.Hefoundtheapartmentfull.Surprisingly,LaraherselfwaslookingatBrenna’scuts,whileHawkeaskedherquestionsandherbrotherssworeinlow,continuousbursts.Outside,someonewasalreadytryingtorepairthedoorhe’dbusted.HeheardSing-Liu’scoolvoicegivingtheorders.
“Judd.”Brenna’sfacelitupthesecondshesawhim.Shewenttoholdoutahandbutdroppedithalfway.
Hegrabbeditanyway.Damntheconsequences.“Thenursery?”heaskedLara.
“Lookedworsethanitwas,”shesaid.“Nokidshurtbutthatwasbysheerluck.Ifapuphadcrawledintothedoorwaywhenitcamedown—”Sheshookherhead.
“Adiversion,”Juddsaid.“HehadtogetD’ArnawayfromBrenna.”
“D’Arn’salreadybeatinghimselfupaboutit.”Rileyblewoutabreath.“ButDieterknewwhathewasdoing—Iwould’vetakenoffforthenursery,too.Brencanlookafterherself,pupscan’t.”
Brennashotherbigbrotherasmileatthevoteofconfidence,beforereturningherattentiontoJudd.“IwastellingHawkehowithappened.IlefttograbmycommequipmentfrommyroomandwhenIcameout,hewasstandinghere.”Hervoiceshook,notwithfearbutanger.“Hesmirkedatme,saidnoone’sheretoprotectyounow,littlegirl.Hehadthatinjectorinhishand.”Shepointedtothesmallcylindricalobjectlyinginacorner.
Awallhangingcrashedtothefloor,thetoughplasglasscoversplintering.
Aseveryoneelseturnedtowardthesound,Brennasqueezedhishand.Thewarningworked.Hepulledhisrageundercontrol,butitwasanuncertaincontrolatbest.“Whendidyourememberaboutthevan?”
“Thatsmirk.”Shealmostspitoutthewords.“ItmademewanttokillandthenIknewwhy.”
Hawkekickedasideapieceofdebrisonthefloor—alargesplinterfromthedoor.“Nowonderyoublockeditout.Oneofusservedyouuptodie.”Hiseyeshadgonepurewolf.
“Yes.”Hertonesoftened,grewsad.“HekilledTim,triedtokillDrew,gavemeup…andforwhat?Money.”
“I’llfindoutwhatheknows.”HawkeglancedatJudd.“Canyouhelp?”
HethoughtofhowDieter’shearthadfeltinhishands,soslick,socrushable.“Givemeaweek.I’dkillhimrightnow.”
“It’lltakehimlongerthanthattohealthedamageBrennatellsmeshedid.”Lara’stonewaswithoutitsnormalgentleness.“I’vegottogostitchhimupnow.”
HawkewentwithLara.JuddlookedatDrewandRiley.“Giveusafewminutes.”
Bothmenleftafterashort,tensesilence.JuddtookBrennaintoherroomandclosedthedoor.Shestoodwithherbacktoitasheleanedoverher,palmsbracedoneithersideofherhead.“You’reokay.”Notaquestion,becauseevenbruised,shewasstandingstrong.
“You’renot.”Shetookahandkerchieffromherpocketanddabbedathisjawandherealizedhewasbleedingfromhisearcanalagain.Worrylaidanotherbruiseinhereyes,turningtheareolaofbluealmostindigo.“Youcan’twaitmuchlonger.”
Takingitfromher,hefinishedthetaskandshovedtheclothintohisjeanspocket.“Youdidn’tneedmyhelp.”
Shesmiled,teethsharp.“Iknewyou’dcome.That’swhyIfoughtsohard.IknewthatbythetimeIgottired,you’dbethere.”Hersmilefaded.“Go,calmdown.I’mokay.”
Heleftheranditwasthehardestthinghe’deverdone.TheurgetocrushoutDieter’slifebeatinhimwitheverypulseofhisownheart,apoundingechothatknewnothingoflogicorsense.Itjustwantedjustice.Inhiscurrentstate,hecouldn’tevenactonhisdecisiontobreakSilence.Hewastoounbalanced.
Walkingoutintothesnowyspreadoftheinnerperimeter,heattemptedtoworkoffsomeofhisenergybygoingthroughanumberofstrictlychoreographedhand-to-handcombatmoves.Hehadtowipemorebloodfromhisnosebeforehebegan.Thecolorwasclosetoblack—thecountdownwasreachingthefinalstages.
WhenTaimaterializedoutoftheforestanhourintohissession,hehadtoforcehimselfnottoreactwithunwarrantedaggression.Hiscontrolwasstillfragmented,hisragetokillatrappedbeastinsidehim.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“Iwasheadingbacktothedenafterarun.Beenoutsincethismorning.”Hethrustahandthroughhishair.“Idon’tsupposeyoucouldteachmesomeofwhatyouweredoing.”
“Itrequiresdiscipline,”hereplied,realizingTaihadnoawarenessofthechaosthathadruledthedenlessthananhourago.Forsomereason,thatknowledgebrokethroughhisanger.“Youcan’tfightinstinctively—youneedtothinkbeforeyoureact.”
Taiputhishandsintohispockets,bunchinguphisshoulders.“YouthinkIcan’tdoit?”
“Ithinkyou’dbegoingagainstyournature,butthat’snotabadthing.It’llteachyoutofocusandchanneltheabilitiesyoualreadyhave.”
Tai’sgrinwasyoung,cocky.“Yeah,I’mnottoobad,huh?Igotinafewshotswithyouandyou’realieutenant.”
“True.”
ThesmilefadedandTaitookhishandsoutofhispockets.“Thanksfornotrattingmeouttoanyone.Aboutgoingclawed,Imean.”
JuddrememberedLara’sadvice.Hejustlistened.
“Igotfrustratedandlostit,”Taiadmitted.“Iapologize.”
“Fine.”Juddjerkedhishead.“Ifyouwanttolearnsomething,followme.”
Taicametostandbesidehim.“WhatdoIdo?”
“Think.Standinplaceinthisposition.”Heshowedtheposition.“Andthinkaboutwhatyourbodyiscapableof,whatwillpushittothelimit,whatwon’t.Touseatooleffectively,youmustfirstknowitscapabilities.”
Taitookadeepbreath.“Mybodyasatool?Okay,Igetit.Ithink.”
Oddly,teachingTaidisciplinebroughtJudd’sowndarknessunderalmosttotalcontrol.BythetimeBrennafoundhimafewhourslater,asthetrailingedgesofthedayfadedintonight,hewasthinkingrelativelyclearly.
“I’msorry,”shesaidafterTaileft,pullingherthickcoattighteraroundherbody.“Ineededtobewithyou.StupidafterIactedsostrongandunaffectedbytheattack.Ishouldgo—ourbeingclosewillhurtyou.”
“Neverbesorryforcomingtome.”Pickinguphisdiscardedjacket,heshruggedintoit.“Doyouwanttogoforawalk?”
Shenodded,lowerliptremblingforaninstantbeforeshegotitundercontrol.“I’msuchababy.IwasfineaslongasIwascleaningup,butassoonasIstopped,Igotsoangry.AlmostasifIwaspickingupeveryoneelse’sanger,too.”
Hematchedhersmallerstridesastheywalked,choosingtofocusonthelighteraspectofhercomment—they’ddiscusstheotherlater.“Youmightbeababy,butyou’remine.AndIlikebabysitting.”
Herlaughwassurprised.“Veryfunny.Anyoneelsesayingthatwouldbedodgingclawsrightnow.”
HethoughtbacktoD’ArnandSing-Liu’sinteractionthedayofthewargames.Finally,hegraspedwhathadseemedsopuzzlingthen.Butthesimilaritywasonlyonthesurface.HeandBrennaweredifferentinonecrucialrespect,adifferencetheyhadbothgonetogreatlengthstoavoiddiscussing—thelackofamatingbondbetweenthem.
Hewasapsychicbeing.Hewouldhaveseenithaditbeenpresentinanyform.Thatitwasn’t,wasasignthatthoughtheymightbedrawntoeachother,theyweren’tmadetofit.Hedidn’tgiveadamn.Hewaskeepingher.
“WhatwasTaidoingwithyouanyway?”sheaskedwhenheremainedsilent.
“Taimakesagoodstudent.ButwhendidIbecomeateacher?”
“You’realieutenant,abigbrothertotheyoungones.”
“Ah.”Thatmadesense.“Theytrustme.”
“Yes.”
“Icoulddamagethem.”
“Butyouwon’t.”
SuchfaithforarenegadefromtheNet.“It’stime.”
Sheunderstoodatonce.“Here?”Theywereinaverysmallclearingbetweentoweringredwoods.“It’sdark.”
“It’sasgoodaplaceasany.Andthere’snoneedforlightwhereI’mgoing.”HetookaseatonafallenlogafterbrushingoffthesnowandBrennasatbesidehim.“Imightnotrespondifyoucallme.Don’tpanic.”
“Iwon’t.”Hervoicetrembled.Shetookadeepbreath.“Iwon’t.”Farstrongerthistime.
“Youalsohavetobepreparedforthepossibilitythatthismightnotwork,thatwe’llhavetoseparatepermanently.”
Herskinpaled.“It’llwork.”
“Thistimestubbornnesswon’tdoit,”hesaid,attemptingtobegentlebutknowinghesoundedharsh.“It’slastedsolongbecauseofhowsoliditis.Theconditioningreprogramsthemostfundamentalaspectsofourbrains.TobreakfullSilenceisonething—buttomakeuseofanisolatedaspectofitasIintendto,mightbeanotheraltogether.”Whathedidn’twanttotellherwasthattheattemptcouldprovefatal.Buthewouldnotlietoher.“IfIdoitwrong,Icouldtriggerthemostextremelevelofdissonance.”
“Areyoutellingmeyoucoulddie?”
“Yes.”
Herfacetwisted.“Youcan’tdie.You’remine.”
“Ihavenointentionofdoinganythingwrongandeveryintentionofsurviving.”HewasanArrow,andforthefirsttime,thatmightbeagoodthing.“Iwastrainedtocircumventandusepaintomyownadvantage.Trustme.”
Swallowing,shenodded.“IknowIcan’thelp,but—”
“Youcanhelp.”Itwassomethinghe’drealizedduringthecalmfosteredbyteachingTai.“AfterputtingAndrew’sheartbacktogether,IrecoveredfarquickerthanIshouldhaveintermsofphysicalstrength.Ithinkitwasbecauseofyou.”
“How?”
“Idon’tknow.”Therewasnobond,butshereachedhiminwaysnooneelseeverhad.“Ifyoueverfindyourtruemate,”hesaid,“Iwon’tallowyoufreedom.”Hedidn’thavesuchgoodnessinhim.
Shescowled.“I’maone-Psywoman.”
Satisfiedwiththeacceptance,henodded.“Keepinphysicalcontactwithme.”
Sheblanched.“IthurtsyouwhenItouch.”
“BecauseI’mconditionedtoseeitasadanger.Itisone—touchanchorsmetoyou,whichthreatenstobreakSilence.”
Swallowing,shenoddedandclaspedherhandoverhisshoulder.“ThefirstthingI’mgoingtodoafteryoucomebackispetyoualloverforaslongasIwant.Promiseyou’llletme.”
“Promise.”Withthatsensualgoalashisguidinglight,heclosedhiseyesandwentdeepintohismind.Deeperthanhe’deverbeforegone.WhathesawthreatenedtoshakehisconfidenceinhisabilitytousetheProtocoltohisadvantageCHAPTER45
HehadneverrealizedhowfarthetalonsofSilencehaddugintohisbrain.Removingthemfeltlikepickingoutthornsoneatatime.Butthestrangestthingwasthat,thoughhewasoperatingexclusivelyonthepsychicplane,hecouldfeelBrennabesidehim,herhandhavingmovedtocloseoverhisforearm,ananchorthatkepthimcentered.
Extraordinary.
Theouterringofconditioningwasdeceptivelyeasytounravel.Deceptivebecausemidwaythrough,herealizeditwaslinkedtothedissonanceloop—onalevelthatwouldcauseunconsciousness.Hestopped,retracedhissteps,andfoundtheembeddedtriggers.Disarmingthemwaseerilysimilartotakingapartathousandtinyexplosivedevices.Goodthinghe’dbeentrainedforjustthat.Ofcourse,thiswasalittledifferent.Onemistakeandhe’dcauseanimplosioninhisbrain.Sohewouldn’tmakemistakes.
Bythetimehefinished,hehadanewrespectfortheprogrammingprocess.They’ddoneahellofajobonhim.TherehadbeennotonebutsixBlackKeysbuiltintotheinitiallayer,contingenciesuponcontingencies.Ifhehadn’tbeenasskilledashewas,hecouldhaveactivatedanyoneofthemseveraltimesover.
ItmadehimwonderaboutSaschaandFaith.Saschawaseasytoexplain—Silencehadnever“taken”withher.Herabilityhadsimplyrunsocountertoitastomakeconditioningimpossible.ButFaithhadbeenunderand,fromwhathecouldunderstand,hadshatteredSilenceduringamajoremotionalstorm.She’dnevermentionedaggressivefactorssuchasBlackKeysandpsychicgrenadesmeanttoshutdownthebodyandmind.
Thosefactsbolsteredhisearliertheory—thattheprogrammingwasalteredtosuittheneedsofeachindividualchild.He’drequiredextremelyseverecontrolsbecauseofhisTk-Cellabilities.Hecouldn’tfaulthistrainersforthat.ButhehadasuspicionthatthosecontrolshadbeenfurtherstrengthenedbecauseofhisfutureasanArrow.Theyhadn’twantedtolosetheirbestassassin.
Theworstdangerappearedonthethirdlevel—linesofconditioningtieddirectlytohisabilitytokillwithastraythought.Afterexaminingthemforseveralminutes,heopenedhiseyes.Brenna’sconcernedfacewasthefirstthinghesaw
“Whatisit?”Herhandclenchedonhisarm.
“ThisiswhereIhavetochoosewhichpartsofSilencetodeleteandwhichtoleavefunctional.Toomuchandthedissonancewillkeeptryingtodisableme.ToolittleandI’lleliminatethesafetysystemsthatstopmefromkillingbyaccident.”Ashehadkilledeight-year-oldPaul,anamehe’dneverforget,afacethatwouldhaunthisdreamsforever.
“Whydon’tyoutakeabreak?”Brennastrokedhishairoffhisforeheadinthathabitshehad.“Youwereunderforanhour.”
Heallowedhimselftotouchhercheekwithhisknuckles.“No.It’sbetterifIdoitallatonce.IfIdelay,someoftheembeddedprotocolsmayreinitiate.”
Sherubbedbackagainsthistouch.“Allright.Dowhatyouhavetodo.Butremember—ifyoukillyourselfyou’llbeinbigtrouble.”
Nodding,heclosedhiseyesandreturnedtohismind.Andfoundahiddenreservoirofemotion.Theconditioningwasanchoredinguilt,fear,protectiveness,andafiercedesiretokeeppeoplesafe.They’dusedhisownemotionstochainhim.Partofhimappreciatedtheefficiency,butanotherpartwassoincrediblyangry,itwasachillacrosshissoul.
However,hedidn’thavetimeforanger.Nottoday.Calminghismindagain,hebegantounlacethethreadsofcontrol.Stepbyslowstep.Itfeltlikehourspassed.Thensuddenlyhewasatthecenterpoint,whereachoicehadtobemade.Reasonclashedwithhisneedtobefree.Heneededthewarningsystem,buthedidn’tneeditcripplinghim.Heundidtheentirestructure.
Ittookaslongasittook.Butfinally,itwasdone.HisPsypowerswerenowfreeofanyrestraint.Butitwasn’tafreedomthatwasgood.AsTaihadtolearndisciplineoverhisphysicalstrength,Juddhadtomaintainitoverhispsychicabilities.TheonlydifferencewasthatJuddcouldn’taffordanymistakes.
Ittookhimalongtimetofindasolutionand,onceagain,itwashistrainingasanArrowthatcametohisaid.“I’msettingatripwire,”hesaidoutloud,knowinginhisbonesthatBrennawasterrifiedforhim.
“Whatwillactivateit?”
“It’llsnapmyabilityshutifIattempttouseittokill.”Foranythingshortofakillingrage,he’dhavetorelyonhisskillsatregulatingemotion.That,hecoulddo.
Asmallpause.“Won’tthatdisadvantageyou?”
“No.Icanreversethetrippedwireinasplitsecond,andmyotherabilitieswillcontinuetofunctionduringthattime.”
“Asplitsecond.”
Herecalledthewayshe’dkissedhimtostophimfromendingDieter’slife.“That’sallIneed.”Amoment’sclaritytomakethedecisiontokillratherthanbeingheldhostagetohisdarkgift.
No,hethought,itwasn’twhollydark.IthadhelpedsaveAndrew’slife—therewasawayitcouldbeutilizedforgood.Pre-SilenceTk-Cells,trappedbytheirout-of-controlemotions,hadneverlearnedthat.Andpost-SilenceTk-Cellshadneverbeengiventhechancetobeanythingbutsanctionedkillers.Butnowhehadthatchance,thatchoice.“It’llwork.”
“Thendoit.”Astatementofloyalty,oftogetherness,ofsuchcompletetrustthathefeltitinsidehismind.Mentallyfrowningattheimpossibility,hefinishedlayingthepsychictripwire.Thatdone,hewentevendeeper,totheplacewheretheconditioningwasahardshellaroundhisemotionalcore,segregatingthatpartofhim.Theshieldswerefragmentedbutholding.Heputapsychichandonthefirstone.
Ashockwaveofexcruciatingpainshotthroughhisbody.
ThenBrennacriedout.
Grittinghisteeth,heopenedhiseyestoseeherfacegonewhite.“Brenna?”
“Oh,God,Judd.”Shesqueezedhishand.“Ifeltthe…shadowofthat,anecho.IfwhatIfeltwasdiluted,howareyoustillconscious?”
“Whydidyoufeelit?”Protectiveinstinctsroaredtolife.“Wearen’tmated.”
Hershatteredeyeswentwide.“Areyousure?”
Hisheartactuallystoppedforasecond,hewantedsomuchforhertobelongtohimonthemostirrevocablelevel.“Iguesswe’llfindout.”Hewentbackintotheminefieldofhisconsciousness,throwingashieldaroundBrennaatthesametime.Butheknewthatthatwouldonlymutetheimpact,notstopitaltogether,notwhenhedidn’tknowtheoriginofthelinkthatconnectedthem.
Hespentseveralminuteslookingattheemotionalblocks.“Ihavetodestroythem.Nosubtlety.Atotalwipeout.”
“Whatwillitdotoyou?”
Therealquestionwas—whatwoulditdotoher?Hecouldweatherjustaboutanythingexceptherhurt.“There’llbepain.”
Thesoftbrushoflipsagainsthischeek.“PainIcantake.”
Hedidn’tquestionher,didn’tdoubther.Brennahadearnedhisrespectthedayshe’dcomeoutsanefromthatbloodyroomwhereshe’dbeenheld.“Nomatterwhathappens,”hetoldher,“don’tletanyoneelseinterfere.”
“But—”
“Noone.”
“Fine,butnotifitgetstothepointwhereyoumightdie.”
“Accepted.”Arrowinghissensestoafinelaserpoint,heslicedtheshieldsinhalf.
Foramoment,therewasnothing.Truesilence.Purecalm.
Thenagonystreakedthrougheverynerveending,everysynapse,everysensehepossessed.HeheardBrennascreamandtheprotectivecoreofhimrefusedtoallowthat.Hethrewupaninstinctiveblockagainstaconnectionthatshouldn’thaveexistedandhadthesatisfactionofhearinghershudderinrelief.Asecondlater,thepainblankedeverythingfromhismind.CHAPTER46
ShoshannaScottmetherhusband,Henry,intheirlivingquartersaftertheiroperationshadbeencompleted.AshayaAleine’sclosestaide,theonewhohadimplantedtheminthefirstplace,haddonetheretraction.Ithadtakenanhoureach,theprocedurescomplicatedbythewaytheimplantshadintegratedintotheirneuralcells.
“Howdoyoufeel?”
“Aslightheadacheandsomeweaknessinmylimbsbutthat’ssupposedtopass.”Henryansweredherquestioninthespiritinwhichithadbeenasked.Concentratingonthephysical.Theywerehusbandandwifeforpropagandapurposesonly—thehumansandchangelingsseemedtoliketheideaofacoupleintheCouncil.
“I’mmuchthesame.”Shetookaseatbesidehim.“It’stoouradvantagethatwewereimplantedaftertheothers.”Ithadgiventhemplentyofwarningoftheexperimentalimplants’catastrophicfailure.“It’sapitytheimplantsweresodegradedtheywon’tbeabletoreverseengineerthem.”
“PerhapsweshouldrethinktheideaofstoringbackupfilesontheNet.”
“No.”ShoshannaagreedwiththeotherCouncilorsonthis,shortsightedthoughmanyoftheirdecisionswere.“Weuploadit,wechancealeak.Aleinewillbeabletoputitallbacktogether.”
“Itwilltakemonthsifnotyearsforhertogetbacktowhereshewasbeforethesabotage.”Henryshifted.“It’sdisconcertingtohavetoreturntothisineffectualmethodofcommunication.”
Duringthepasttwomonths,theyhadbeenfunctioningasaflawlesspsychicunit,sharingeverythought.However,theyhadn’tquitebecomeonemind—Shoshannawasawarethatshe’dwieldedmorepowerintheunit.Itprovedthetheorythattheremustalwaysbeacontrollingmind.Forexample,theeightbelowthemhadbeenunabletomergeintoHenry’sandShoshanna’smindsbutthereversehadn’theldtrue.“We’llreturntoitoneday.What’sthestatusoftheremainingfourparticipants?”
“Alivebutagitated.”
Shoshannastood.“Takecareofit.”
“Ialreadyhave.”Henrymirroredherstance.Theirmindswerestillattunedonalevelbeyondthenorm,butwithouttheimplant,thatlinkwouldeventuallyfade.“Igaveafinalorderpriortotheremovalofmyimplant.They’llendtheirownlivesoneaftertheotherduringthenexteighthours.”
“Excellent.”Whatitwastotrulywieldthepoweroflifeanddeath—theothersknewnothingofthis.Iftheyhad,theywould’vepushedProtocolIfasterinsteadofinsistingonthecurrentsnail’space.“Thattiesthingsupnicely.”NowtheyhadtoensuretheCouncildidn’tbackpedalfromtheidea.Ithadtogoahead.Shoshannaintendedtobecomeaqueenintruth,toholdlivesinthepalmofherhand.CHAPTER47
Brenna’swolfwasgoingcrazytrappedinsideofher.“Baby,please.”Judd’sheadremainedunmovinginherlapasshestrokedhishairoffhisforeheadoverandover.Ithadbeenthreehourssincehe’dgonedown,takinghershareofthepainaswellashisown.Theonlythingkeepingherfrombreakingapartwasthecertainknowledgethathewasalive.Sheknewitinhersoul.Theywerebondedwhetheranyonecouldseeitornot.
Fulldarkhadfallenlongago,alongwiththetemperature.Judd’slipshadbeguntoturnbluethreeminutesago,asifsomeinternalbatteryhaddied.Everythinginherwantedtorunforhelp,buthehadmadeherpromisenottoletanyoneelseinterfere.Herhandclenchedonherphoneassheranhereyesoverhisbody.Hischestmovedupanddown.Hisbreathcameout.Buthewassocold,soscarilycold.Colderthanthesnow.
Thiswasn’tright.HewasPack.Whathe’ddonesomanytimesfortheothersshouldbehisduenow.ToleanonPackwasnoshame.Exceptthatsheknewhewastooproud,toousedtostandingalone.Butshecouldn’twatchhimdie.“I’msorry,mydarling.”Sheflippedopenthephone…andfounditdead.
Throwingitaside,shebeganafranticsearchofJudd.Nothing.Butsheknewhealwayscarriedaphone.Hermindwentbacktotheimageofhimpullingonhisjacketintheclearing.Ithadtohavefallenoutthen.“No.”
Amovementintheforest.Herheartleapedinherthroat,followedbypredatorycalm.Noonewilltouchhim.Herclawspushedattheedgesofherskinashereyesfocusedonthesourceofthesound,everyinstinctprimedtodefendhermate.
Thewolfthatemergedwasalmostinvisibleagainstthesnow,hispeltathicksilver-goldthatactedlikecamouflage.Relaxingfromheroffensivestance,shereturnedherattentiontoJuddasHawkeshiftedtohumanformandcametokneelonJudd’sotherside.“Youdidn’tsignalforattention.”
Sheshookherheadandmethiseyes.“He’sexactlylikeyou.”
“Hell,Iknowthat.Iexpectedyoutohavebettersense.”Asharpreproof.“Howlong?”
“Threehours.”
“Canwemovehim?”
“Ithinkso.”Butshewasn’tgoingtoriskit.“Idon’tknowiftherewasany…damage.”Braindamage.HewasPsy—theyweretheirminds,andthingsthateruptedfromthemindoutwardhadtheabilitytodestroythem.“Movinghimmightmakeitworse.”
Hawke’seyesflashedtopuredanger.“ThedamnPsyistoostubborntodie.KeephimalivewhileIgetWalkerandsomeheatingsheets.”
“Go.”BrennakeptherhandsonJudd’scheeks.“I’llbehere.”
Hawkeleftwithoutanythingfurther,disappearingintothewoodsinaflashofsilver-gold.Withhisspeed,helpwouldbeonthewayinunderhalfanhour.ButwhatcouldWalkerdo?Hewasn’taPsymedicandevenifhehadbeen,whatmediccouldpossiblyseeinsideamindasguardedasherPsy’s?Sheknewhisshieldstobeimpenetrable.
Notagainstyou.
Herbreathcaught.Shewonderedifthecoldwasstartingtoaffectherbrain.“Judd?”
I’mhere.IhavetorepairsomedamagebeforeIrisetofullconsciousness.
Thatsoundedtoomuchlikehimtobeherimagination.“Damage?”shewhispered.
Don’tworry,baby.I’llbefullyfunctional.Adefinitesensualemphasisonthoselasttwowords.
Shewantedtothumphimforworryingherso,butwhatstoppedherwastheopenaffectioninhismentaltones.She’dneverheardthatinhisvoice.Butnowhewasspeakingtoherwithoutanybarriers…trustingherwitheverythinghewas.Swallowing,shewipedthebacksofherhandsacrosshereyes.“Youidiot.I’lldamageyoumyselfifyoudon’tshutupandhurry.”
Malelaughterinhermind.Hesoundedjustasshe’dalwaysthoughthe’dsoundifhelaughed—arrogant,atouchbad,anddrop-deadgorgeous.Icanhearyourthoughts.
“Thenstoplistening.”Butshewastoohappytoworry.And…thiswasJudd.Hehadunder-the-skinprivileges.“Howcanwetalklikethisanyway?Noneoftheotherscan.”Notthatshe’dseen.
I’mahigh-leveltelepath.Icouldalwayssend,eventoveryweakreceivers,andyou’renotweak.
Asmallsilence.“WhatdidEnriquedo?”She’dbeenavoidingtheissueafternoonehadseemedtobeabletogiveheranyanswers,butnowJuddwasintheoneplaceshehadvowedtoneverallowanotherbeing.Anditfeltright.“Tellme,I’mready.”
Idon’tknowwhathisintentionwas,butitlookslikehemighthaveopenedyourmindinawayitwasnevermeanttobeopened.That’swhyyou’vebeenpickingupfragmentsofothers’thoughtsanddreams,whyyou’vebeenactingoutofcharacter.Ineedtoteachyoutoshield,notlikeachangelingbutlikeaPsy.Untilyoucan,I’llshieldyou.
“Well,ifwecantalklikethis,atleastsomegoodcameoutofthat.”Shedroppedakissonhisforehead.Thenfrowned.CanIthinktoyou?
Yes.Hesoundeddelighted.Brenna,it’snotjustmytelepathyandthechangesinyouthatareallowingustospeak.Icanseeit—abondliketheonetomyfamilialNet,exceptthisoneis…it’s…I’mnopoet…
Acaresswhisperedthroughhermindandsheknewhewantedhertoclosehereyes.Soshedid.Asecondlater,shefeltsomethingtraveldownthebond.Itwasanimageofthebonditself.Astunningkaleidoscope,twistedthroughwiththemartialthreadsofasoldierandthebright,animalsparksthatrepresentedher.
Atearstreakeddownherface.Iloveyou
You’remine.
Shelaughedatthepossessivetone.“I’vealwaysbeenyours.Nowhurryuportheotherswillfindmeheretalkingtomyself.”
ItoldyouIdidn’tneedanyhelp.
“AndItoldyouyou’rePacknow.”Shewouldbeatthatintohisheadevenifittookalifetime.
Hewentsilent,obviouslyworking.Shedidn’tinterrupthimandwhenheliftedthosedarklashestwentyminuteslater,allshecoulddowassmile.“Hey.”
Lookingupintohereyes,heraisedahandtocloseoverhernape.“Comehere.”
Bendingdown,shetouchedherlipstohis.Warmthflowedfromhertohimandthenback.Thebondpulsedbeforesparking,sendingasmallelectricshockdownherspine.Gasping,shebrokethekiss.“Idon’tthinkthat’snormal.”
“You’rematedtoaTk.”Hesmiledandwhileitwassmall,itwasmostdefinitelyasmile.Theimpactwas,tosaytheleast,devastating.“ItlooksasifIcandoallsortsofthingstoyounowthatthebond’sfunctioningasitshould.”Asiftoprovethat,thenextpulsetraveleddirectlytotheheatbetweenherlegs.
Suckinginabreath,sheleanedoverandbithislowerlip.“Myturn.”Mate,hewashermate.Hersforever.“Mine.”
“Yours.”Hishandtightenedonhernapeasheallowedhertotakeadvantageofhim.
“Whywasn’tthebondworkingbefore?”sheaskedthenexttimetheycameupforair.“Mywolfcouldn’tsenseit.”
“Silence.”Shadowsinhisvoice.“Ithadmewrappedupsotight,Iwasblockingit,likelystoppingyoufromfeelingit,too.Toacceptitwouldprobablyhaveledtoafatalstrikefromthedissonance,somybrainprotecteditselftheonlywayitcould.”Therewasangernow.“Silencetriedtodestroyusbeforewecouldbegin.”
“Butthebondwasalwaysthere,”shewhispered.“Sotakethat,PsyCouncil.NotevenyourdamnSilencecanstopwhat’smeanttobe.”
Judd’seyeswidenedathervehemenceandthenthatsmallsmilewidenedafraction.“IthoughtItoldyoutocomehere.”
“AndIthoughtItoldyounottomesswithme.”Butshewent.Sometimes,youhadtogiveintoamale.Especiallywhenhewasyoursandhelookedatyouwiththatnakedheatinhiseyes.
Itwasamazingwhatamancoulddowhenhewasproperlymotivated,JuddthoughtashestraightenedBrenna’sclothing.Justintime.Fourwolvesburstoutoftheforestsecondslater.Walkerwasn’tthatfarbehind,havingbeenbroughtthereonasnowmobileloadedwithemergencymedicalequipment.
Thewolvesshiftedashisbrothergotoffthesnowmobileandwalkedacross.“Areyouallright?”
Juddnodded.“Yes.”
ButanotherconversationwastakingplaceontheLaurenNet.
You’vedisabledtheSilenceProtocol.Therewasnojudgmentinhisbrother’stone.It’salreadyinfluencingthefamilialNet.
JuddrealizedWalkerwasright.We’vebeenlivingwithemotionsincethechildrenstartedadapting.Itwon’tharmthem.
No.Walker’spsychicpresencewasastarthathadanoddtwistingmotionatthecenter.Hewasn’tamartialPsy,andnoonehadeverbeenabletofigureoutwhatthattwistingmotionmeant.There’sanewmindintheNet.
Juddblinkedandlookedagain.Thereshewas,linkedtotheNetthroughhimandprotectedbyhispowerfulmind.Noneoftheotherscouldtouchher,thoughherstrong,affectionatenaturewasalreadyinfluencingtheflowsofthetinyLaurenNet.Brenna.Shecouldn’tseethis,couldn’tseeherwildsilverstarwithricochetingshardsofvibrantblue,butitwassomethingthatcalmedhispsychicmind.Hecouldprotecthernow,nomatterwhereshewas.He’dknowifsheshedasingletear
She’smakingtheNetstronger.
Ofcourseshewas.She’sawolf.
You’resure?
JuddknewtheywerenolongertalkingaboutBrenna.I’msafe.Reachingback,hetookhismate’shandinhis.HaveyouseentheotherchangesintheNet?Faintsparksofcolorwheretherehadonceonlybeenblackandwhite.
IthinkitrepresentsaformerlysuppressedaspectofToby’sabilities.Itdoesn’tfittheparametersofanyknowndesignation,butIhavemysuspicions.
SodidJudd.We’lltalklater.
HawkenarrowedhiseyesasWalkersteppedback.“IleaveyougoingblueandthinkingI’mgoingtohavetodigagrave,andreturntofindyou…wellexercised.”Apausethattookintherucked-upsnow.BehindHawke,Laradidabadjobofhidingagrin.“Youwanttoexplainthat?”
“No.”JuddfeltBrenna’sblushinhismindandknewshe’drealizedherpackmatescouldsmellthescentoftheirrecentexplosiveunion.Helikedtheideaofherbeingcoveredinhisscent.“There’snothingtoexplain.”
Hawkegrunted,amusementinhiseyes.“Right.Let’sheadback.”
“Givemeaminute.”ItwasRiley.
Juddmettheotherman’seyesaseveryoneelsedispersed.Besidehim,Brennawentveryquiet.Herbrothercameforward.“Youevermakehercry,I’llbreakeveryboneinyourbody,tearyoutopieces,andholdabarbequeforthewildwolves.”
“Riley!”Brennasoundedshocked.
Juddwasn’t—despiteRiley’scalmexterior,themalewasasferallyprotectiveasAndrew.“IthinkBrennaismorethancapableofdoingthatherself.”
“Judd!”
Riley’sfacebrokeoutinanuncharacteristicgrin.“Yeah,sheis.”Reachingout,hekissedhisgapingsister’scheekbeforepullingbackandshifting.Thenhewasgone.
“Ican’tbelieveyousaidthat.”Brennawasscowlingwhenheturnedtoher.“Iwouldneverhurtyou.”
Hewantedtolaughatheroutrage.“Iadoreyou.”Andnowhecouldtrulyprotecther—whathehadn’ttoldherwasthatEnrique’salterationshadputunduepressureonherbrain.Becauseherbrainwaschangeling,notPsy,ithadn’thadanywaytoventthatpressure.Soonerorlater,thingswould’vegonetoacriticalstate.
Thereasonforherpresenthealthwasthat,evendormant,thebondhadsomehowleachedoffenoughoftheoverload—dispersingitthroughhispsychicchannels—thatshedidn’tcollapse.Butnowhecouldconsciouslyregulatethepressure,reducingitandshieldingher,untilshelearnedtodoitherself.Itwouldbehardbutnotimpossible,notwithBrenna’sstrengthofwill.“Youarethemoststubborn,mostbeautifulwomanIknow.”
“Oh…howamIsupposedtostaymadwhenyousaysomethinglikethat?”Shestampedherfootbutherlipswerecurvingupintoasmile.“You’repretty,too.”Shegrinnedathisscowl.“Butyou’rethemostinfuriatingmanI’veevermet.”
“Toobad.You’restuckwithme.”
Standingontiptoe,shespokeagainsthislips.“Ilikebeingstucktoyou.”
Hewasabouttokissherwhenshewrenchedaway.“Youwantakiss?Comeandgetit.”Ataunt,aninvitation,alovers’game.
Juddhadneverplayedmuch.Hehadafeelingthatwasabouttochange.“YoushouldknownevertodareanArrow.”
“You’realltalk,JuddLauren.”Ablurofmovementandshewasgone.
Feelinghisheartbeatspeedup,hepushedoffafterher.He’dgethiskiss.Andmore.Usingthebond,hesentherexplicitimagesdetailingtheprizeheintendedtoclaim.
Notfair,camethebreathyresponse.NowI’mallhotandwet.
Hetripped.Youdidthatonpurpose.
Nuh-uh.IfI’dwantedtomesswithyou,I’dhavetoldyouaboutthisfantasyIhaveofhavingyouatmymercy.
Thatintriguedhim.Whatwouldyoudo?
This.
Imagescascadedintohismind,affectionate,lush,andsoincrediblyeroticthathefoundhimselffightinghisbody’sdesiretodescendintopuresensation.
Letme?
Hewasusedtoprotectinghisback,tonevergivinganyonecontroloverhisbodyorhismind.I’myours.Itwasthefinalsurrender.
Saschacouldn’tbelievethedifferenceinBrennawhenshesawherthenextday,havingcomeuptothedentotalktoLaraaboutadifferentsituation.“She’shappy,healed,”shesaidtoLucasonthetriphome,herearsstillfullofthesoundoftheSnowDancer’slaughter.“AndJudd—Iwouldn’thavebelieveditifIhadn’tfeltitwithmyempathy.Hemightlookunchangedonthesurface,buthelovesher.”Sodeepandtrueitalmosthurt.Saschaknew—shelovedLucaslikethat.
“Thenwhydoyousoundsosad,kitten?”Hethrewheraconcernedlookbeforereturninghisattentiontotheroughmountainroad.
“Shewasbetrayedbyoneofherown,”Saschawhispered,shaken.“IthoughtPackwassafe,wasfamily.Ifyoucan’ttrustPack,whocanyoutrust?”
Lucasbroughtthecartoahaltinthemiddleofnowhereandreachedovertopullherintohislap.“Packissafe.Packisthecornerstoneofwhoweare.”
“Thenwhy?How?”Shenestledherheadunderhischin.“DieterwasaSnowDancersoldier,buthe’ssotwisted.”Evenwalkingpasthiscellhadmadehersicktoherstomach.Wavesofsomethingrotten,putrid,hademanatedfromhissoul.
Lucasstrokedhishanddownherback.“Havingtheanimalinsideprotectsusagainstmanysins,butevenchangelingssometimesspawnevil.”
Shethoughtaboutthatforlongminutes.“Fortheretobelight,theremustbedarkness.”ItwaswhatFaithhadsaidafterherescapefromtheNet.ButonlynowdidSaschatrulyunderstand.“Ifyoutryforperfection,youbecomeexactlylikethePsy.”Acold,roboticracewithouttheabilitytolaugh,love,orcherish.
“Noraceisperfect.”Henuzzledather.“AndIkindoflikeyou,flawsandall.”
Shefoundhersmileagain.“Yes.Perfectionisvastlyoverrated—iftheymeasuredthePsyrace’scontentednessindex,theresultswouldundoubtedlybeinthenegatives.”
“God,you’resexywhenyoutalkPsy.”CHAPTER48
“You’rewalkingfunny,”Lucysaid,ashit-eatinggrinonherface.
Fivedaysofoutofthisworldsexwithastarvingmancoulddothattoagirl.“You’rejustjealous.”BrennapushedthroughthedoorintoDarkRiver’sbusinessHQ.
Lucymadeamournfulface.“Yes,Iam.Goddamnbutyourmanishot.Andhesmilesatyou!I’veseenhimdoit,evenifnoonebelievesme.”
“Iknow.”Shesmiledherselfanditwassowide,herfacefeltasifitwouldcrack.“Whatareyoudoinghereanyway?”
“IhavetotalktoMercyaboutajointholovisionproject.CTXthing.”Lucylookedoverhershoulderafternamingtheleopard-wolfcommunicationscompany.“Herecomesyourbeautifulman.Talktoyoulater.”
Juddputahandonherlowerbackastheywalkeddowntothebasement.Hedidthatalot—touchher.Hersmilestretchedimpossiblywider.“Ithinkweshouldplay‘who’smorepatient’againtonight.”
“Fine.”HesoundedohsoPsybuthishandhadslippeddowntocaressherhip.“Youdorememberthatyoualwayslose?”
Losinghadneverbeensomuchfun.“We’llsee.”ShewalkedthroughthebasementdoortofindDorianalreadyattheconsole.“WhereareLucasandHawke?”Thealphahadprecededthemhere.
“Atthebuildingsite,”Dorianreplied,referringtothejointPsy-changelingdevelopmentbeingdesignedandbuiltbyDarkRiverforNikitaDuncan.
“Ithoughtthewolvesweresilentpartnersintheproject,”JuddcommentedasshetookherseatbesideDorianandbegantocheckthelinesofprogrammingforthelasttime.“Theyjustsuppliedtheland,correct?”
Doriannodded.“LucasandHawkeweretalkinganddecidedtogivethemselvesanairtight‘alibi.’”Hesmirked.“HardtoaccusethemofmastermindingthiswhentheywereinameetingwithNikitaatthetime.”
Ofcourse,Juddthought,theCouncilwouldknowexactlywhotoblameforthetechnologicalstrike,butthatwasthepoint.Thealphasweresendingamessage:Youattackusandwe’llbiteback,andwe’lldoitwhereithurts.ThesixPsyassassinswhohadbutcheredtheDawnSkydeerhadalreadybeendispatched—thatophadtakenplacethesamedayJuddobtainedthenames.Nowitwastimeforthesecondstrike.
Heglancedathiswatch.“Thestockexchangeopensintenseconds.”
“Giveitafewminutes—letthemthinkeverything’sokay.”Dorianleanedbackinhischairastheywaited.“Okay.Time’sup.Youwanttodothehonors,kid?”
“Ohyes.”Rubbingherhands,Brennaheldherfingeroverakey.“Theyshouldhavenevercomeintoourterritoryandtakenthelivesofthoseunderourcare.”Shepresseddown.“Welookafterourown.”
ThePsyCouncilconvenedanemergencysessionwithinminutesoftheexchangefailure.Theyhadbarelygottenahandleonthatsituationwhenothersystemsbegantofailinarelentlesscascade.MajorPsybanksandlargePsybusinessesweretheworsthit.
Therewasnosignature,nowaytoidentifytheperpetratorsoftherapid-fireassault.ButNikitaDuncanhadlookedintotwopairsofalpha-changelingeyestoday.Shegotthemessage.AndshemadesuretherestoftheCouncilappreciatedit
Forthefirsttime,noonearguedwithher.Thedamagewastoowidespread,theintelligencebehindthestealthyattacktoofinelyhoned.Therewasnodoubttheanimalshadwonthisskirmish.EPILOGUE
Ithappenedinthemiddleofawildoutdoorlovemakingsessionthathadgottenmorethanalittlevigorous.Winterhadleftwithlanguidsoftnessandnowspringwasacoolbreezeonherskin.JuddpickedBrennaupandputherflatontheground.Herbreathrushedout—notbecausehe’dusedexcessivepressure—onthecontrary,herlandinghadbeenangelsoft.No,itwasbecausehehadn’tusedhishands.
Attunedashewastothebond,hefrozeintheactofrippingoffhisshirt,leavinghisridgedabdomenbare.“Brenna.”
“I’mokay.Itwasasurprise,that’sall.”Shemeantthat.HermatewasapowerfultelekineticandshetrustedhimnevertousethatTktohurther.
Hiseyesdarkened,thenhesmiled.“Doyoulikesurprises?”
Thatstill-raresmilehadtheabilitytosendwarmthrushingtothejunctureofherthighs.Squeezingthemtogether,shenodded.Thatwaswhenherpantsunzippedoftheirownaccordandbeganbeingpulleddownherbodyalongwithherpanties.
Shecouldn’thelpit.Shecriedout,especiallywhenheliftedherbottomtohelpdragtheclothingoff.Theyflewtolandonthebranchesofanearbytree.“Somesurprise.”Herheartraced.“What’snext?”
Notanswering,hewalkedaroundtostandatherfeet,lookingdownatherbodywithblatantpossessiveness.Hershirtwasopenandpartedtorevealherbreasts,herlowerbodynaked,herkneesraised.Shehadneverfeltmoredeliciouslyexposed.
“Spreadyourthighs.”Alow,roughorder.
Sheblushedatwhathewasaskinghertodobutevenasshehesitated,phantomhandsbegantospreadher.Shocked,shedidn’tfightbecausethosehandsfeltjustlikethoseofthemanwhowatchedher—watchedherasifshewereafeasthewaswaitingtogorgeon.Thenthoseinvisiblehandssliddowntohercurlsandpaused.
DangerousPsyeyesclashedintohers.“Iwanttoopenyou.”
BrennahadknownshewasgettingadominantmalewhenshechoseJudd.Hisintensitydidn’tscareher.Rather,itsenteroticneedrushingoverherbody,furthertighteningthealreadytautpeaksofherbreastsanddampeningthewomancoreofher.Butwhatseducedhertocompletesubmissionwasthat,evenviolentlyaroused,hehadstoppedtocheckhowshewashandlingthisescalationoftheirsexuallife,theworkingofhisTkfullyintowhotheyweretogether.
“Doit,”shewhispered,thewordssothickshehadtoforcethemout.
Thosephantomfingersspreadapartherintimatelips,baringhertotheair…tohisgaze.Bloodfloodedhercheeksandshecouldfeelherselfflushinginother,normallyhiddenplaces.Aninvisiblefingerdippedintoher,pushinginaninchbeforespreadinghercreamoverthehardbudhe’dexposedtotheair.
“Judd!”Whenshecouldbreatheagain,shelookeduptofindhe’dundonehispantsatlast,releasinghiserection.
“Iwant.”Aboldsexualstatementshecouldonlymakebecausethiswashermate.
Hefistedhimself.“This?”
Shecouldn’tbelieveit.“You’regoingtotease?”Twocouldplayatthatgame,evenifJuddwasundeniablythemoreskilledatit.Slidingonehanddownherownbody,shedippedherfingersintoherheat,pleasuringherselfwithlazystrokes,whilesheusedthefingersofherotherhandtocaressherbreasts,pluckathernipples.
Judd’seyesfollowedthemovementsofherhands,hisownmovingoverrigidfleshinunconscioussynchrony.Thesightclutchedatherstomach,madeherwanttospeedupherstrokes,pushherselfovertheedge.Butshewasdeterminedtoseducehimthistime.
Shewithdrewherfingersfromherbodyonagroan…andheldthemout.“Howaboutataste?”
Thetreebranchesoverhershiftedinabreezeshecouldn’tfeel,newspring-greenleavesflyingeverywhichway.Judd.Hewasmakingithappen,looseninghisrigidcontrol.Insteadoffear,shefeltpureexhilaration.Andwhenhedroppeddownonhiskneesbetweenherspreadthighs,allshecouldseeweretheglowingembersofaverymasculinedesireinhiseyes.Takingherglisteningfingers,hetuggedthembackdowntohersex.
“Touch,”heordered,voiceharsh.“Showmewhatyoulike.”
“YouknowwhatIlike,”shesaid,butfollowedthecommand.
Puttinghishandsonherraisedknees,hespreadherevenfarther,asiftobetterhisview.Shewassospellboundbythesexualchainsofhisunashamedhungerthatshewasbarelyawareofthecrashingmovementsofthetreebranches,thewhiplashspeedoftheleavescirclingaroundthem.Herheartbeatwasinhermouth,aliveanddemanding.Herwholebodyfeltflushedtofeverpitch.Shewantedsomethingthickerandharderthanherfingersstrokinginandoutofthemeltingwarmthofherbody.
Withoutwarning,Judddraggedawayherhandandtookoverthetask.Hisstrokesweredeeper,rougherthanherownandtheymadehercryoutinshockingpleasure.Shewantedtowrapherlegsaroundhimbutoneofhishandsremainedonherknee,tellingherhewantedherspreadopenforhim.Soshekeptherfeetflatontheearth.
“Good.”Heslidthathanddowntheinnerfaceofherthightogripherhipfirmlyasshetwistedundertheforceofhisdrivingstrokes.Allthoughtoftakingchargewaslost,butitdidn’tmatter,becauseinthissensualgame,surrenderwasthesweetestofvictories.
Theedgebeckoned,promisinghottwistingpleasure/painthatwouldcutthroughherbodylikelightningandturnhermindtopurefeverforlongpleasure-drenchedmoments.Anticipationhadherholdingherbreath.Onemorecaress—
Juddwithdrewhisfingers.
“No,”shemoaned,soreadytogoovershecouldhardlythink.
Heshiftedhisbodycloser.Shefeltthetipofhiserectionnudgeather.Thenhegrippedherhiptightandpushedin.Alltheairleftherlungsinaharshexhalationasshefelteverythickinchofhimscrapepastherdesire-swollenflesh.Herfingersclawedtheearth,butshenevertookhereyesoffhisface.Whatshesawsetofftheripplesthatannouncedanimpendingexplosion.
Hewaswatchingtheirbodiesjoin,hisexpressionthatofamandriventoecstasy.Redstreakedoverhischeekbonesandhisjawwasclenchedhardenoughtohavecrackedstone.Beautifulandsosexyshecouldbarelybelievehewashers.
Hepushedhome,goingsodeepshecouldfeelhimindarkunexploredplaces.Againstherspreadflesh,theroughmaterialofhisjeans,thecoldteethofhiszipper,providedanaddederoticsensation,aquietreiterationthatJuddwasnolongerincontrol.
Hiseyesfinallyraisedtohers,thegoldflecksalmostglowingagainstthebitterchocolate.“I’mgoingtomovenow.”
Thatwasheronlywarningbeforeherloverbeganthrustingintoherwithhardstrokesthatbowedherbackandtoreascreamfromherthroat.Puresensationshotthroughher,eclipsingtheanticipationandcascadingintohermind…aboltofwhitelightningthattraveledfrombothendsofthebondtocreateasensualinferno.
Maletofemale.Psytochangeling.Matetomate.
Shesteppedoverabrokenbranchtoretrieveherpants.“Baby,Iloveyou,butwhenwegofurnitureshopping,Iwanttitaniumalloy.”Inthemonthssincetheirmating,he’dalreadydestroyedthewoodenstuff.Fourtimes.Currently,theyhadnotable,nosofa,andnochairs.“Thankgoodnessthewallsarestoneandthebed’sgotametalframe.”
Herteasingmadehimstretchout,half-nakedandindolentlyateaseontheforestfloor.“Ifyou’dstaystill,I’dbefine.”Excepthedidn’tsoundparticularlyenthusedbytheideaofherremainingstill.
Turningtofacehim,shepulledonherpantsoverbareflesh,shovingherpantiesintoapocket.Sheverydefinitelyhadhisfullattention.“Wherewouldbethefuninthat?”Grinning,shelefthershirtopenandwalkedtokneelbesidehim.Hisabdomenwaspurehardmuscleunderhertouch.“Aren’tyougoingtogetup?”
Heputahandonthecurveofherhip,apossessivegesturethathadalreadybecomefamiliar.“No.Let’shavemoresex.”
“Insatiable.”Shekissedhim,lovingthathetrustedherenoughtoallowhertoseehimwithoutbarriers.Asfarastherestofthedenwasconcerned,hewasstilltheManofIce.Theycouldn’tunderstandhowshecouldhavematedwithhim.Buthe’dearnedhisstripesasfarasbeingPackwentsotheyshruggedandacceptedthepairing.“Anymoresexandwe’llexpire.Don’tyouhaveameetingwithHawkeanyway?”
Agruntandhedeignedtogetup.Kissingherassherosetoherfeet,too,hezippeduphispants.Hisshirtcontinuedtohangopen—fromthelookinhiseye,hewasmoreinterestedinwatchingherbuttonupherown.“ShootingpracticewithDorian?”heaskedaftershe’dfinished.
“HesaysI’mgettingreallygood.”Thoughthatdidn’tmakeupforwhatEnriquehaddonetoher,whathe’dstolen,ithelpedtoknowshecouldstilldefendherself,aswellasprotectthosewhomatteredtoher.
“Hey.”Hermatestrokedherhairoffherface.“Nobeingsad.Ican’thandleit.”
Sheknewhewasspeakingliterally.Hecontinuedtofinditdifficulttoprocesscertainemotions,buthewaslearning.“Ijust”—shegrippedhiswaistwithonehand—“IjustwishIcouldgowolfagain.”Butthenshesmiledanditwasreal.“I’mhappyandstrongnow,butI’llalwaysmissthatpartofme.AsyoumisstheNet.”Henevercomplainedaboutthelossbutshewasbeginningtounderstandthedepthofwhathe’dgivenuptosavehisfamily.Itmusthavefeltlikecuttingoffalimb.
Hekissedher.“You’rethesexiestwolfIknow.”Apulseoflovecamedownthematingbond.Itwasrichandunashamedanditexplodedinherlikeabomb.
Shewasabouttoreplywhenherclawsslicedout,drawingJudd’sblood.Shejerkedback.“Oh,God,I’msos—!”Everythingdisappearedinafamiliarburstofsearingagonyandendlessecstasy,hercellschangingonalevelthatwasemphaticallychangeling.
JuddfrozeastheworlddissolvedintoamulticoloredshimmeraroundBrenna.Shiftingwassomethinghe’dwitnessedwithotherwolves,butthiswasdifferentinthemostfundamentalway.Thiswashismate.Hecouldfeelwhatwashappeningtoherasifitweretakingplaceinhisownbody.Sheertormentandexcruciatingbliss,anexquisitemixunlikeanythinghe’deverbeforeexperienced.
Secondslater,itwasover.Infrontofhimstoodasleekwolfwithsoftgrayfurthatbeckonedtouch.Withoutthinking,hewenttohiskneesandstrokedhishandoverherneck,hiseyeslockedintothosesointelligentanduniquethattheycouldonlybelongtoBrenna—inspiteofthefactthatshe’dshifted,heririseshadn’tlostthatflareofarcticblue.
Shewasthemostbeautifulthinghehadeverseen.
Somethingcamedownthebond.Uncertainty.Fear.“Whatisit?”Hethoughtrapidly.“You’reperfect,beautiful,”hereassuredher.“Noerrorsintheshift.”
Laughterinhismind,joy.Pullingoutofhishold,shelopedacrosstheclearingtheyhadusedfortheirplay.Helethergo,anoddsensationtighteninghischest.Heknewsheneededherfreedom,nomatterthatheachedtogowithher.
Shestoppedattheedgeoftheclearingandlookedoverhershoulder.Hismatemight’vechangedform,buthecouldreadherloudandclear.Shewasthrowingdownachallenge.Feelingasmilewarmhiswholebodythoughonlyahintreachedhisface,herose.“You’reon,BrennaShane.”Themeetingcouldwait.Thewholeworldcouldwait.
Brennadidn’tcuthimanyslack,takingoffthroughthetreeslikesilverlightning.Heranafterher,focusinghisTkintothissimpleexercisesohecouldflyalongsidethegorgeouswomanwhowashismate.
Theearlyeveningturnedtotruenightandstilltheyran,playinghide-and-seekwitheachother,tryingtosneakupattimes,kickingupfallenleavesjusttowatchthemmove.Simpleplayandtheclosesthehadevercometofeelinglikeachild.
Bythetimeshe’dhadenough,theyhadcircledbacktotheiroriginalstartingpoint.Theywerebothbreathinghardbutenergyflickeredthroughtheair.Whensheshiftedthistime,itwasevenmorebeautiful,becausehecouldfeelherjoyfromthestart.Sheappearedfromthesparklingmotes,alovelynakedwomanwithahugesmilecrackingherface.
“Judd!”Shethrewopenherarmsandhebentdowntoliftherup.Herlegswrappedaroundhiswaistashestoodandshelaughed.“Icanshift!”
Spinningaroundwithherinhisarms,hekissedthesideofherneckthenplantedhislipsonhermouth.Shekissedhimbackwithwildabandonandunderhishands,herskinwassmoothandhotandwelcoming.Skinprivileges.Breakingthekiss,hedrankinthesightofherhappiness.“Youaretoodamngorgeous.Ineitherform.”
Herfacefilledwithtenderness.“Iwasafraidyouwouldn’t…thatyou’dgetfreakedoutatseeingmeasawolf.ThenyoutoldmeIwasperfect,thatIhadno‘errors.’”Thelastwordwasatease.
Hewasincrediblygladhisresponsehadreassuredher,eventhoughhe’dmisunderstoodthereasonforherworry.“Youare.”Heheldherwithonearmandrantheotheroverherthightocurvearoundherbottom.“Andyou’renaked.”
Hereyeswenthuge.“Myclothes!”Shelookedaroundasifexpectingthemtoreappearbymagic,thoughtheshiftprocesshaddisintegratedthem.“WhatamIgoingtodo?”
Hefelthislipstwitch.
Shehithisshoulderwithonesmallfist.“Thisisnotfunny!”
“Ithinkyoulookdelectablenaked.”Hekissedherchin.“Ofcourse,I’dhavetokillanyoneelsewhodaredputtheireyesonyou.”
“Ican’twalkthroughthedenlikethis!”shewailed.
He’dnoticedthat—nomatterhowblasétheywereaboutnudityotherwise,thewolvesfollowedstrictrulesinthedenaboutbeingclothed.Thepupswerethesingleexception.“Forsuchasmartwolf,”hemurmuredagainstherlips,“you’rebetrayingadistinctlackoflogic.”
“Logic?”Shescowledbutkissedhimback.
“Mmm.”Hesqueezedherbottom.“Shift.Wearyourfur.”Thatwasacceptablebehavior.Soldiersoftenlostaccesstoclothingandhadtoreturninanimalform
Hermouthfellopen.“Oh.”Asighwhisperedthroughherwholebody.“I’mgoingtohavetogetusedtothisalloveragain.”
“You’rewelcometoforgettheclothinganytimeyoulike.”
“Thanks.Butyoudon’tgetavote—youlustaftermybody.”Herteethnippedathislowerlip.“Whydoyouthinkitcamebacknow?”
“Maybeitwastime—youwerereadyforit.”
Shegavehimasweetkiss.“Ithinkyouhelpedwiththat.Mademeunderstandthatmysoulhadn’tbeendestroyedbythatmonster.ThatIsurvivedineveryway.”
Hedidn’tagree.Shewastheonewho’dfoughttoreclaimherlife.“Yourcourageamazesme.”
“Andyourlovemakesmewhole.”Shemadeherconfessionwithoutshame.
HewantedsomuchtosayitbackbutthewordsstuckinthefadinggripofSilence.He’dneverbeeasysayinglovewords.
Herlipsbrushedhis.“Iknow,baby.Icanfeelyoulovingmedeepinside.”
Juddfiguredhemust’vedonesomethingrightalongtheway.HowelsecouldarebelArrowhaveearnedtherighttocallthisamazingwomanhisown?Evenifitwasamistake,toodamnbad.Hewasnevergivingherup.
InthepsychicplaneoftheLaurenNet,awaveoflovetraveledineverydirection,emanatingfromabondthatwasnotPsybutchangeling,abondthattiedanassassintoawolf,abondthatwas…unbreakable.TurnthepageforapreviewofthenextparanormalromancebyNaliniSingh
MinetoPossess
ComingFebruary2008fromBerkleySensation!
TalinMcKadetoldherselfthattwenty-eight-year-oldwomen—especiallytwenty-eight-year-oldwomenwhohadseenandsurvivedwhatshehad—didnotfearanythingsosimpleaswalkingacrosstheroadandintoabartopickupaman.
Except,ofcourse,thiswasnoordinaryman.Andabarwasthelastplaceshe’dexpectedtofindClaygivenwhatshehadlearnedabouthiminthetwoweekssinceshe’dfirsttrackedhimdown.Itdidn’tbodewellthatithadtakenherthatlongtoscrewupthecouragetocometohim.Butshehadhadtobesure.
WhatshehaddiscoveredwasthattheClayshe’dknown,thetall,angry,powerfulboy,hadbecomesomekindofhigh-rankingenforcerforthedominantleopardpackinSanFrancisco.DarkRiverwasextremelywell-respected,soClay’spositionspokeoftrustandloyalty.Thelastwordstabbedabladedeepintoherheart.
Clayhadalwaysbeenloyaltoher.Evenwhenshedidn’tdeserveit.Swallowing,sheshovedawaythememories,knowingshecouldn’tletthemdistracther.TheoldClaywasgone.ThisClay…Shedidn’tknowhim.Allsheknewwasthathehadn’thadanyrun-inswiththelawafterbeingreleasedfromthejuvenilefacilitywherehehadbeenincarceratedattheageoffourteen—forthebrutalslayingofoneOrrinHenderson.
Talin’shandsclampeddownonthesteeringwheelwithwhite-knuckledforce.Shecouldfeelbloodrisingtofloodhercheeksasherheartthuddedinrememberedfear.PartsofOrrin,softandwetthingsthatshouldhaveneverbeenexposedtotheair,fleckingherasshecoweredinthecornerwhileClay—
No!
Shecouldn’tthinkaboutthat,couldn’tgothere.Itwasenoughthatthenightmareimages—fullofthethick,cloyingsmellofrawmeatgonebad—hauntedhersleepnightafternight.Shewouldnotsurrenderherdaytimehours,too.
Flashingblueandwhitelightscaughtherattentionasanotherenforcementvehiclepulledintothebar’ssmallfrontparkinglot.Thatmadetwoarmoredvehiclesandfourverywell-armedcops,butthoughtheyhadallgottenout,noneofthefourmadeanymovetoenterthebar.Unsurewhatwasgoingon,shestayedinsideherJeep,parkedinthesecondarylotontheothersideofthewideroad.
Sweattrickleddownherspineatthesightofthecopcars.Shehadlearnedyoungtoassociatetheirpresencewithviolence.Everyinstinctinherurgedhertogetthehellout.Butshehadtowait,tosee.IfClayhadn’tchanged,ifhehadgrownworse…Uncurlingonehandfromthewheel,shefisteditagainstastomachfilledwithroiling,twistingdespair.Hewasherlasthope.
Thebardoorflewopenatthatsecond,makingherheartjump.Twobodiescameflyingout.Tohersurprise,thecopssimplygotoutofthewaybeforefoldingtheirarmsandlevelingdisapprovingfrownsattheejectedpair.Thetwodazedyoungmenstaggeredtotheirfeet…onlytogodownagainwhentwomoreboyslandedontopofthem.
Theywereteenagers—eighteenornineteenfromthelooksofit.Allwereobviouslydrunkashell.Whilethefourlaythere,probablymoaningandwishingfordeath,anothermalewalkedoutonhisowntwofeet.Hewasolderandevenfromthisdistanceshecouldfeelhisfuryashepickeduptwooftheboysandthrewthemintotheopencabofaparkedtruck,hisblondhairwavingintheearlyeveningbreeze.
Hesaidsomethingtothecopsthatmadethemrelax.Onelaughed.Havinggottenridofthefirsttwo,theblondmangrabbedtheothertwoboysbythescruffsoftheirnecksandbegantodragthembacktothetruck,uncaringofthegravelthathadtobesandpaperingskinofftheexposedpartsoftheirbodies.
Talinwinced.
Thoseunfortunate—andlikelymisbehaving—boyswouldfeelthebruisesandcutstomorrow,alongwithsoreheads.Thenthedoorbangedopenagainandsheforgoteverythingandeveryonebutthemanframedbythelightinsidethebar.Hehadoneboyslungoverhisshoulderandwasdragginganotherinthesamewaytheblondhad.
“Clay.”Itwasawhisperthatcameoutonadarkrushofneed,anger,andfear.He’dgrowntaller,wasclosetosix-four.Andhisbody—hehadmorethanfulfilledthepromiseofrawpowerthathadalwaysbeeninhim.Overthatmuscularframe,hisskinshonearich,lusciousbrownwithanundertoneofgold.
Isla’sblood,Talinthought,theexoticbeautyofClay’sEgyptianmotherstillvividinhermindevenafteralltheseyears.Isla’sskinhadbeensmoothblackcoffee,hereyesbitterchocolate,butshehadonlycontributedhalfofClay’sgenes.
Talincouldn’tseeClay’sowneyesfromthisdistance,butsheknewtheywereastrikinggreen,theeyesofajunglecat—anunmistakablelegacyfromhischangelingfather.Setoffbyhisskinandpitch-blackhair,thoseeyeshaddominatedthefaceoftheboyhehadbeen.Shehadafeelingtheystilldidbutinafardifferentway.
Hiseverymovescreamedtough,maleconfidence.Hedidn’tevenseemtofeeltheweightofthetwoboysashethrewthemintothepilealreadyinthebackofthetruck.Sheimaginedtheflexofmuscle,ofpower,andshivered…inabsolute,unquenchablefear.
Logic,intellect,sense,itallbrokedownundertheunadulteratedflowofmemory.Bloodandflesh,screamsthatwouldn’tend,thewet,suckingsoundsofdeath.Andsheknewshecouldn’tdothis.BecauseifClayhadscaredherasachild,heterrifiedhernow.
Shovingahandintohermouthshebitbackacry.
Thatwaswhenhefroze,hisheadjerkingup.
DumpingCoryandJasonintothecab,ClaywasabouttoturntosaysomethingtoDorianwhenhecaughtanalmostsoundonthebreeze.Hisbeastwenthuntingstill,thenpouncedoutwiththeincrediblyfinesensesofaleopard,whilethemanscannedtheareawithhiseyes.
Heknewthatsound,thatfemalevoice.Itwasthatofadeadwoman.Hedidn’tcare.Hehadacceptedhismadnessalongtimeago.Sonowhelooked,lookedandsearched.
ForTally.
Thereweretoomanycarsinthelotacrossthewideroad,toomanyplaceswhereTalin’sghostcouldhide.Goodthingheknewhowtohunt.He’dtakenonestepinthatdirectionwhenDorianslappedhimonthebackandsteppedintohislineofsight.“Readytohittheroad?”
Clayfeltagrowlbuildinginhisthroatandthereactionwasirrationalenoughtosnapsomesanityintohismind.“Cops?”Heshiftedtoregainhisviewoftheopposinglot.“Theygonnagiveustrouble?”
Dorianshookhishead,blondhairgleamingintheglowofthestreetlightsthathadbegunflickingonasbuilt-insensorsdetectedthefadinglight.“They’llcedeauthoritysinceit’sonlychangelingkidsinvolved.Theydon’thavethelegalrighttointerferewithinternalPackstuffanyway.”
“Whocalledthem?”
“NotJoe.”Henamedthebarowner—afellowmemberofDarkRiver.“Hecalledus,soitmust’vebeensomeoneelsetheymessedwith.Hell,I’mgladKitandCoryhaveworkedtheirlittlepissingcontestoutbutIneverthoughtthey’dbecomebestfuckingfriendsanddriveusallinsane.”
“Ifweweren’thavingtheseproblemswiththePsyCounciltryingtohurtthepack,”Claysaid,“Iwouldn’tminddumpingtheminjailforthenight.”
Doriangruntedinassent.“Joe’llsendthroughabill.Heknowsthepackwillcoverthedamage.”
“Andtakeitoutofthesesix’shides.”ClaythumpedCorybackdownwhenthedrunkandconfusedkidtriedtorise.“They’llbeworkingofftheirdebttilltheygraduate.”
Doriangrinned.“Iseemtorecallraisingsomehellmyselfinthisbarandgettingmyasskickedbyyou.”
Clayscowledattheyoungersentinel,thoughhisattentionneverlefttheparkingareaacrosstheroad.Nothingmovedoverthereexceptthedust,buthewasaleopard.Heknewthatsometimespreyhidinplainsight.Playingstatuewasonewaytofoolapredator.ButClaywasnomindlessbeast—hewasanexperiencedandbloodedDarkRiversentinel.“Youwereworsethanthislot.Fuckingtriedtotakemeoutwithyourninjashit.”
Doriansaidsomethinginresponse,butClaymisseditasasmallJeeppeeledrapidlyoutofthelotthatheldhisattention.“Kidsareyours!”Withthat,hetookoffafterhisescapingquarryonfoot.
Ifhehadbeenhuman,thechasewould’vebeenastupidact.Evenforaleopardchangeling,itmadelittlesense.Hewasfast,butnotfastenoughtokeepupwiththatvehicleifthedriverflooredit.Asshe—definitelyshe—nowdid.
Insteadofswearingindefeat,Claybaredhisteethinaruthlessgrin,knowingsomethingthedriverdidn’t,somethingthatturnedhispursuitfromstupidtosensible.Theleopardmightreactoninstinct,butthehumansideofClay’smindwasfunctioningjustfine.Asthedriverwouldbediscoveringrightabout…now!
TheJeepscreechedtoahalt,probablyavoidingtherubbleblockingtheroadbybareinches.Thelandslidehadoccurredonlyforty-fiveminutesago.UsuallyDarkRiverwouldhavealreadytakencareofit,butbecauseanothersmalllandslidehadoccurredinalmosttheexactsamespottwodaysago,thisonehadbeenleftuntilit—andtheaffectedslope—couldbeassessedbyexperts.Ifthewomanhechasedhadbeeninsidethebar,shewouldhaveheardtheannouncementandknowntotakeadetour.
Butshehadn’tbeeninthebar.She’dbeenhidingoutside.
Bythetimehereachedthespot,thedriverwastryingtobackout.Butshekeptstalling,herpaniccausinghertooverloadthecomputronicsthatcontrolledthevehicle.Hecouldsmellthesharp,cleanbiteofherfear,butitwastheoddlyfamiliaryetindefinablywrongscentunderthefear,thathadhimdeterminedtoseeherface.
Breathinghardbutnottrulywinded,hecametoahaltinthemiddleoftheroadbehindher,daringhertorunhimover.Becausehewasn’tlettinghergetaway.Hedidn’tknowwhothehellshewas,butshesmelleddisturbinglylikeTallyandhewantedtoknowwhy.
Fiveminuteslater,thedriverstoppedtryingtorestartthecar.Dustsettled,revealingthevehicle’srentalplates.Thebirdsstartedsingingagain.Stillhewaited…until,atlast,thedoorslidopenandback.Aslenderlegcoveredindarkbluedenimandablackankle-lengthboottouchedtheground.
Hisbeastwentpreternaturallyquietasahandemergedtocloseoverthedoorandslideitevenfartherback.Freckledskin,thebaresthintofatan.AquintessentiallyfemaleformunfoldeditselffromtheJeep.Onceoutofthecar,shestoodwithherbacktohimforseverallongminutes.Hedidn’tdoanythingtoforcehertoturn,didn’tmakeanyaggressivesounds.Instead,hetookthechancetodrinkinthesightofher.
Shewassmallbutnotfragile,noteasilybreakable.Therewasstrengthinthestraightlineofherspine,butalsoasoftnessthatpromisedacushionforahardmalebody.Thewomanhadcurves.Lush,sweet,curves.Herbuttfilledouttheseatofherjeansperfectly,arousingthedeeplysexualinstinctsofbothmanandcat.Hewantedtobite,toshape,topet.
Clenchinghisfists,hestayedinplaceandforcedhisgazeupward.Itwould,hethought,beasimplemattertoliftherupbythewaistsohecouldkissherwithoutgettingacrickinhisneck.AndheplannedtokissthiswomanwhosmelledlikeTalin.Hisbeastkeptgrowlingthatshewashisand,rightthatsecond,hewasn’tfeelingcivilizedenoughtoargue.Thatwouldcomelater,afterhehaddiscoveredthetruthaboutthisghost.Untilthen,hewoulddrownintherushofwildsexuality,inthefamiliaryetnotscentofher.
EvenherhairwasthesameunusualshadeasTalin’s—arich,tawnygoldstreakedwithchocolatebrown.Amane,he’dalwayscalledit.Akintotheincrediblevariationsofcolorinaleopard’sfur,somethingoutsidersoftenmissed.Toafellowleopard,however,thosevariationswereasobviousasspotlights.Aswasthiswoman’shair.Beautiful.ThickUnique
“Talin,”hesaidsoftly,surrenderingcompletelytothemadness.
Herspinestiffened,butatlast,sheturned.
Andtheentireworldstoppedbreathing.
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