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Tomymother,JoyceA.Cosby,whogavemetwoveryimportantgifts:determinationandcuriosityMydropsoftearsI’llturntosparksoffire.—WILLIAMSHAKESPEARE,HENRYVIIIONE
Iketriedtorememberatimewhenmenwithbadgescomingtohisdoorearlyinthemorningbroughtanythingotherthanheartacheandmisery,buttryashemight,nothingcametomind.
Thetwomenstoodsidebysideonthesmallconcretelandingofhisfrontstepwiththeirhandsontheirbeltsneartheirbadgesandtheirguns.Themorningsunmadethebadgesglimmerlikegoldnuggets.Thetwocopswereastudyincontrast.OnewasatallbutwiryAsianman.Hewasallsharpanglesandhardedges.Theother,aflorid-facedwhiteman,wasbuiltlikeapowerlifterwithamassiveheadsittingatopawideneck.Theybothworewhitedressshirtswithclip-onties.ThepowerlifterhadsweatstainsspreadingdownfromhisarmpitsthatvaguelyresembledmapsofEnglandandIrelandrespectively.
Ike’squeasystomachbegantodosomersaults.HewasfifteenyearsremovedfromColdwaterStatePenitentiary.Hehadbuckedtherecidivismstatisticseversincehe’dwalkedoutofthatfesteringwound.Notsomuchasaspeedingticketinallthoseyears.Yetherehewaswithhistonguedryandthebackofhisthroatburningasthetwocopsstareddownathim.ItwasbadenoughbeingaBlackmaninthegoodol’USofAandtalkingtothecops.Youalwaysfeltlikeyouwereontheedgeofsomeimaginaryprecipiceduringanyinteractionwithanofficerofthelaw.Ifyouwereanex-con,itfeltliketheprecipicewascoveredinbacongrease.
“Yes?”Ikesaid.
“Sir,I’mDetectiveLaPlata.Thisismypartner,DetectiveRobbins.Maywecomein?”
“Whatfor?”Ikeasked.LaPlatasighed.Itcameoutlowandlonglikethebottomnoteinabluessong.Iketensed.LaPlataglancedatRobbins.Robbinsshrugged.LaPlata’sheaddippeddown,thenheraiseditagain.Ikehadlearnedtopickuponbodylanguagewhenhewasinside.Therewasnoaggressionintheirstances.Atleastnotanymorethanwhatmostcopsexudedonanormaltwelve-hourshift.ThewayLaPlata’sheadhaddroppedwasalmost…sad.
“DoyouhaveasonnamedIsiahRandolph?”hesaidfinally.
Thatwaswhenheknew.Heknewitlikeheknewwhenafightwasabouttobreakoutintheyard.Likeheknewwhenacrackheadwasgoingtotrytostabhimforabagbackintheday.Likeheknew,justknewinhisgut,thathishomeboyLutherhadseenhislastsunsetthatnighthe’dgonehomewiththatgirlfromtheSatelliteBar.
Itwaslikeasixthsense.Apreternaturalabilitytosenseatragedysecondsbeforeitbecameareality.
“What’shappenedtomyson,DetectiveLaPlata?”Ikeasked,alreadyknowingtheanswer.Knowingitinhisbones.Knowinghislifewouldneverbethesame.
TWO
Itwasabeautifuldayforafuneral.
Snowwhitecloudsrolledacrossanazuresky.DespiteitbeingthefirstweekofApriltheairwasstillcrispandcool.Ofcourse,sincethiswasVirginia,itcouldberainingbucketsinthenexttenminutes,thenhotasthedevil’sbacksideanhourlater.
Asage-greententcoveredtheremainingmournersandtwocaskets.Theministergrabbedahandfulofdirtfromthepilethatsatjustoutsidethetent.Thepilewascoveredbyaweatheredartificialgrassrug.Hemovedtotheheadofthecaskets.
“Earthtoearth.Ashestoashes.Dusttodust.”Theminister’svoiceechoedthroughthecemeteryashesprinkleddirtonbothcaskets.Heskippedthepartaboutthegeneralresurrectionandthelastdays.Thefuneraldirectorsteppedforward.Hewasashortchubbymanwithacharcoalcomplexionthatmatchedhissuit.Despitethemildconditions,hisfacewasslickwithsweat.Itwasasifhisbodywererespondingtothecalendarandnotthethermometer.
“ThisconcludestheservicesforDerekJenkinsandIsiahRandolph.Thefamilythanksyouforyourattendance.Youmaygoinpeace,”hesaid.Hisvoicedidn’thavethesametheatricalityastheminister’s.Itbarelycarriedbeyondthetent.
IkeRandolphletgoofhiswife’shand.Sheslumpedagainsthim.Ikestareddownathishands.Hisemptyhands.Handsthathadheldhisboywhenhewasbarelytenminutesold.Thehandsthathadshownhimhowtotiehisshoes.Thehandsthathadrubbedsalveonhischestwhenhe’dhadtheflu.Thathadwavedgoodbyetohimincourtwithshacklestightaroundhiswrists.RoughcallusedhandsthathehidinhispocketswhenIsiah’shusbandhadofferedtoshakethem.
Ikedroppedhischintohischest.
ThelittlegirlsittinginherlapplayedwithMya’sbraids.Ikelookedatthegirl.Skinthecolorofhoneywithhairtomatch.Ariannahadjustturnedthreetheweekbeforeherparentsdied.Didshehaveanyinklingofwhatwashappening?WhenMyahadtoldherthatherdaddieswereasleep,sheseemedtoacceptitwithouttoomuchtrouble.Heenviedtheelasticityofhermind.Shecouldwrapherheadaroundthisinawaythathecouldn’t.
“Ike,that’sourboyinthere.That’sourbaby,”Myawailed.Heflinchedwhenshespoke.Itwaslikehearingarabbitscreaminatrap.Ikeheardthefoldingchairssqueakandwhineaspeopleroseandheadedtotheparkinglot.Hefelthandsflutteragainsthisbackandshoulders.Wordsofencouragementweremumbledwithhalf-heartedsincerity.Itwasn’tthatfolksdidn’tcare.Itwasthattheyknewthosewordsdidlittletosoothethewoundinhissoul.Speakingthoseplatitudesandclichédhomiliesseemeddisingenuous,butwhatelsecouldtheydo?Itwaswhatyoudidwhensomeonedied.Itwasasaxiomaticasbringingacasseroletotherepast.
Thecrowdwasthin,anditdidn’ttakelongforthechairstoempty.InlessthanfiveminutestheonlypeopleinthecemeterywereIke,Mya,Arianna,thegravediggers,andamanIkevaguelyrecognizedasDerek’sfather.AlotofIke’sfamilyhadn’tshownupfortheservice.Asfarashecouldtell,onlyafewofDerek’speoplehadbotheredtoattend.MostofthemournerswereIsiahandDerek’sfriends.IkenoticedDerek’sfamilymembers.TheystoodoutamongthebeardedhipstersandandrogynousladiesthatmadeupDerekandIsiah’ssocialcircle.Leanwirymenandwomenwithhardflintyeyesandsun-wornfaces.Theyworebluecollarsaroundtheirrednecks.Asthesermonnearedthethirty-minutemark,he’dwatchedtheirfacesbegintobloomwithcrimson.Thatwaswhentheministermentionedhownosinwasunforgivable.EvenabominablesinscouldbeforgivenbyabenevolentGod.
AriannapulledoneofMya’sbraids.
“Stopit,girl!”Myasaid.Itcameoutsharp.Ariannawassilentforamoment.Ikeknewwhatwascomingnext.Thatpregnantpausewasthepreludetothewaterworks.Isiahusedtodothesamething.
Ariannabegantohowl.HerscreamspiercedthequietcontemplativenessofthefuneralandranginIke’sears.Myatriedtosootheher.Sheapologizedandbrushedherforehead.Ariannatookadeepbreath,thenbegantoscreamlouder.
“Takehertothecar.I’llbethereinaminute,”Ikesaid.
“Ike,Iain’tgoingnowhere.Notyet,”Myasnapped.Ikestood.
“PleaseMya.Takehertothecar.Justgivemeafewminutes,thenI’llcomeandwatchherandyoucancomeback,”Ikesaid.Hisvoicealmostcracked.Myastood.ShepulledAriannaclosetoherchest.
“Yousaywhatyougottasay.”Sheturnedandheadedforthecar.Arianna’scrieswitheredtowhimpersastheywalkedaway.Ikeputhishandontheblackcasketwiththegoldtrim.Hisboywasinthere.Hissonwasinthisrectangularcontainer.Packedandpreservedlikesomecuredmeat.Thebreezepickedup,makingthetasselshangingfromtheedgeofthetentflaplikethewingsofadyingbird.Derekwasinthesilvercasketwiththeblacktrim.Isiahwasbeingburiednexttohishusband.They’ddiedtogetherandnowthey’dresttogether.
Derek’sfatherrosefromhisseat.Hewasaleanandweatheredpieceofworkwithashockofshoulder-lengthsalt-and-pepperhair.HewalkeduptothefootofthecasketsandstoodnexttoIke.Thegravediggersbusiedthemselveswithshovelinspectionsastheywaitedforthesetwomen,thelastofthemourners,toleave.Theleanmanscratchedathischin.Agrayshadowofabeardcoveredthebottomhalfofhisface.Hecoughed,clearedhisthroat,thencoughedagain.Whenhegotthatundercontrol,heturnedtowardIke.
“BuddyLeeJenkins.Derek’sfather.Idon’tthinkweeverofficiallymet,”BuddyLeesaid.Heheldouthishand.
“IkeRandolph.”HetookBuddyLee’shandandpumpeditupanddowntwice,thenletitgo.Theystoodatthefootofthecoffins,silentasstones.BuddyLeecoughedagain.
“Wasyouattheweddingreception?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikeshookhishead.
“Meneither,”BuddyLeesaid.
“IthinkIsawyouattheirgirl’sbirthdaypartylastyear,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,IwastherebutIdidn’tstaylong.”BuddyLeesuckedhisteethasheadjustedhissportcoat.“Derekwasashamedofme.Can’tsayImuchblamehim,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikedidn’tknowhowtorespond,sohedidn’t.
“Ijustwannathankyouandyourwifeforgettingeverythingstraight.Icouldn’taffordtoputthemawaythisnice.AndDerek’smamacouldn’tbebothered,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Wasn’tus.Theyhadthingsalreadytakencareof.They’dsetupsomekindofprepaidfuneralpackage.Wejusthadtosignsomepapers,”Ikesaid.
“Man.Wasyousettingupfuneralarrangementsattwenty-seven?IknowIsurewasn’t.Hell,Icouldn’tsetupafuckingpaperrouteattwenty-seven,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeranhishandoverhisson’scasket.Whatevermomenthehadimaginedhavingwasruinednow.
“Thattatonyourhand,that’sBlackGod’sink,ain’tit?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikestudiedhishands.TheindistinctdrawingsofalionwithtwoscimitarsaboveitsheadonhisrighthandandthewordRIOTonhislefthadbeenhissilentcompanionssincehissecondyearinColdwaterStatePenitentiary.
Ikeputhishandsinhispockets.
“Thatwasalongtimeago,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeesuckedhisteethagain.
“Where’dyoudoyourtime?IdidanickelatRedOnion.Somehardfellasoutthatway.MetafewBGboysoutthere.”
“Idon’tmeannoharm,butitain’treallysomethingIliketotalkabout,”Ikesaid.
“Well,Idon’tmeannoharm,butifyoudon’tliketalkingaboutit,whydon’tyougetthetatcoveredup?Shit,fromwhatIhear,theycandothatinanhour,”BuddyLeesaid.Iketookhishandsoutofhispockets.Helookeddownattheblackliononhishand.Thelionwasstandingonacrudemapofthestate.
“JustbecauseIdon’twannatalkaboutitdoesn’tmeanIwanttoforgetaboutit.ItremindsmeofwhyIdon’teverwannagoback,”Ikesaid.“I’mgonnaleaveyouwithyourboynow.”Heturnedandstartedtowalkaway.
“Youain’tgottago.It’stoolateformeandhim,”BuddyLeesaid.“Toolateforyouandyourboy,too.”Ikestopped.HehalfturnedbacktowardBuddyLee.
“Whatyoumeanbythat?”Ikeasked.BuddyLeeignoredthequestion.
“Whenhewasfourteen,IcaughtDerekkissinganotherboydownbythecreekinthewoodsbehindourtrailer.Tookoffmybeltandbeathimlikearunaway…likehestolesomething.Icalledhimnames.Toldhimhewasapervert.Iwhuppedhimtillhislegswascoveredwithwelts.Hecriedandcried.Sayinghewassorry.Hedidn’tknowwhyhewaslikethat.Younevergotintoitwithyourboylikethat?Never?Idunno,maybeyouwasabetterdaddythanIwas,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeadjustedhisjaw.
“Whywetalkingaboutthis?”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeshrugged.
“IfIcouldjusttalktoDerekforfiveminutes,youknowwhatI’dsay?‘Idon’tgiveadamnwhoyoufucking.Notonebit.’Whatyouthinkyou’dsaytoyourboy?”BuddyLeesaid.Ikestaredathim.Staredthroughhim.Henoticedtearsclingingtothecornersoftheman’seyes,buttheydidn’tfall.Ikegroundhisteethsohardhethoughthismolarsmightcrack.
“I’mgoing,”Ikesaid.Hestompedtowardhiscar.
“Youthinktheygonnacatchwhodidit?”BuddyLeeshoutedafterhim.Ikepickeduphispace.Whenhereachedthecar,theministerwasjustleavingtheparkinglot.Ikewatchedashecreepedbyinajet-blackBMW.Rev.J.T.Johnson’sprofilewassharpenoughtoslicecheese.HeneverturnedhisheadoracknowledgedIkeandMyaatall.
Ikejoggeddownthedriveway.Hecaughttheministerbeforeheturnedontothehighway.Iketappedonhiswindow.Rev.Johnsonloweredtheglass.Ikedroppedtohishaunchesandextendedhishandintothecar.
“IguessIshouldthankyouforpreachingmyson’sfuneral,”Ikesaid.Rev.JohnsongraspedIke’shandandpumpeditupanddownafewtimes.
“Noneedtothankme,Ike,”Rev.Johnsonsaid.Hisdeeprichbaritonerumbledoutofhischestlikeafreighttrainongreasedtracks.HetriedtopullhishandawaybutIkegrippedittight.
“I’msupposedtothankyoubutIjustcan’t.”HegrippedRev.Johnson’shandtighter.Theministerwinced.“Ijustgottaaskyou,whydidyoupreachthefuneral?”
Rev.Johnsonfrowned.“Ike,Myaasked—”
“IknowMyaaskedyoutodoit.WhatI’maskingyouiswhydidyoudoit?BecauseIcantellyoudidn’twantto,”Ikesaid.HetightenedhisgriponJohnson’shand.
“Ike,myhand…”
“Youkepttalkingaboutabominablesin.Overandover.Youthoughtmysonwasanabomination?”Ikeasked.
“Ike,Ineversaidthat.”
“Youdidn’thavetosayit.ImightjustcutgrassforalivingbutIknowaninsultwhenIhearit.Youthinkmysonwassomekindofmonsterandyoumadesureeverybodyathisfuneralknewit.Myboywaslessthanfivefeetawayfromyou,andyoucouldn’tshutthefuckupabouthowhissinswereforgivable.Hisabominablesins.”
“Ike,please…”Rev.Johnsonsaid.Alineofcarswasformingbehindthegoodminister’sBMW.
“Youdidn’tsaynothingabouthimbeingareporter.OrthathegraduatedtopofhisclassatVCU.Youdidn’ttalkabouthimwinningthestatebasketballchampionshipinhighschool.Youjustkepttalkingaboutabominations.Idon’tknowwhatyouthoughthewas,buthewasjust…”Ikepaused.Thewordcaughtinhisthroatlikeachickenbone.
“Pleaseletgoofmyhand,”Rev.Johnsongasped.
“Mysonwasn’tnofuckingabomination!”Ikesaid.Hisvoicewasascoldasamountainstreamflowingoverriverrocks.HegrippedRev.Johnson’shandtighter.Hefeltmetacarpalsgrindingtopowder.Rev.Johnsongroaned.
“Ike,lethimgo!”Myasaid.Iketurnedhisheadtotheright.Hiswifewasstandingoutsidetheircar.Thelinebehindthemwastendeep.IkereleasedRev.Johnson’shand.Theministerspuntiresasherocketedontothehighway.IkemarveledathowfasttheGermanengineeringcarriedRev.Johnsonaway.
Ikewalkedbacktohiscar.Myagotinthepassengerseatasheslidinthedriver’sside.Shecrossedherarmsoverhernarrowchestandleanedherheadagainstthewindow.
“Whatwasallthatabout?”sheasked.Iketurnedthekeyintheignitionandputthecaringear.
“Youheardwhathewassayinginhissermon.YouknowwhathewassayingaboutIsiah,”Ikesaid.Myasighed.
“Likeyouhaven’tsaidworse.Butnowthathe’sdeadyouwanttodefendhim?”Myaasked.Ikegrippedthesteeringwheel.
“Ilovedhim.Idid.Justasmuchasyou,”Ikesaidbetweenclenchedteeth.
“Really?Wherewasthislovewhenhewasgettingpickedonmorning,noon,andnightinschool?Oh,that’sright,youwerelockedup.Heneededyourlovethen.Notnowthathe’sintheground,”Myasaid.Tearsrolleddownherface.Ikeworkedhisjawupanddownlikehewasbitingthetensionbetweenthem.
“That’swhyItaughthimhowtofightwhenIcamehome,”Ikesaid.
“Well,that’swhatyouknowbest,ain’tit?”Myaasked.Ikeclenchedhisteeth.
“Doyouwanttogobackoverthereand—”Ikestartedtosay.
“Justtakeushome,”Myasobbed.
Hesteppedonthegasandpulledoutofthecemeteryparkinglot.
THREE
BuddyLeesatstraightupinhisbed.Someonewasbangingonthedoorofhistrailersoharditfeltlikethewholestructurewasshaking.Hecheckedtheclocksittingonthemilkcratethatservedashisnightstand.Itwassixo’clock.Thefuneralhadendedat2P.M.BuddyLeehadstoppedoffatthePigglyWigglyandpickedupacaseofbeer.He’dcrushedthelastcanaround4:30.Thenhehadfloppedonhisbedandpassedoutcold.
Thebangingathisdooreruptedagain.Itwascops.Ithadtobecops.NoonebangedonyourdoorthathardexceptJohnnyLaw.BuddyLeerubbedhiseyes.
Run.
ThethoughtflashedinhismindlikeanLEDsign.Theimpulsewassostronghewasstandingupandtakingtwostepstowardthebackdoorbeforeherealizedwhathewasdoing.Hetookadeepbreath.
Run.
ThethoughtpulsedinhisheadeventhoughhewastenyearsoutofRedOnion.Eventhoughheonlyhadajarofmoonshineinthecabinetandtwojointsinhistruck.Eventhoughhe’dbasicallykepthisnosecleansincehe’dstarteddrivingforKitchenerSeafoodthreeyearsago.Well,hedidn’thavetoworrytoomuchaboutkeepinghisnosecleananymoresinceRickyKitchenerhadfiredhiminsteadofgivinghimaweekofbereavementtime.
BuddyLeecrackedhisknucklesandwalkedtothefrontdoor.Thetemperaturehadskyrocketedsincehe’dpassedout,soheflickedontheACunitbeforeheopenedthedoor.
AshortsquatmanwasstandingonthefourcinderblocksthatmadeupBuddyLee’sfrontstep.Hisbaldingheadwasringedbyrust-coloredpatchesofhaironthesidesandinthebackofhisskull.HiswhiteT-shirtsportedaweek’sworthofstains.Theyspelledouthiseatinghabitslikeindistincthieroglyphics.
“HeyArtie,”BuddyLeesaid
“Yourrent’saweeklate,Jenkins,”Artiesaid.BuddyLeeburpedandhethoughtalltwenty-fourbeersinthecaseweregoingtomakeasurpriseappearanceinhismouth.BuddyLeeclosedhiseyesandtriedtoconjureupacalendarinhishead.Wasitthefifteenthalready?TimehadtakenonastrangeinconsequentialqualitysincethecopshadshownhimapictureofDerek’sfacewiththetopofhisheadblackedout.
BuddyLeeopenedhiseyes.
“Artie,youknowmysondied,right?Thefuneralwastoday.”
“Iheard,butthatdon’tchangethefacttherentisdue.I’msorryaboutyourboy,Ireallyam,butthisain’tthefirsttimeyoubeenlate.IdoneletyouslideafewtimesbutIgottahaveitbytomorroworwegonnahavetohaveanotherkindofconversation,”Artiesaid.Histinyrateyessatinhisheaddullandbrownlikeoldpennies.
BuddyLeeleanedagainsttheraggeddoorframe.Hecrossedhiswiryarms.
“Yeah,Icantellyou’vereallyfellonhardtimeshere,Artie.Howintheworldyougonnakeepupyourfantasticwardrobe?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Youcanjokemeallyouwant,Jenkins,butifIdon’thavefullpaymenttomorrow,whichincludesthelotfeeandtherentforthetrailer,I’ll—”Artiesaid,butBuddyLeesteppeddownontothefirstcinderblock.Artiehadn’texpectedthemove.Hetookanawkwardstepbackwardandnearlytumbledtotheground.
“You’llwhat?Whatyougonnado?Callthecops?Godowntothecourthouseandgetawarranttokickmeoutofthisbroke-down-asstrailer?Lordhavemercy,whatintheworldwillIdowithoutthisfuckingmansionthatgotatoiletthatain’tflushedrightsince’ninety-four?”
“Ain’tnofreeridehereBuddyLee!Thisain’toneofthemSection8setups.Youwantthat,youcangoovertoWyndamHillsandhangoutwiththeotherwelfarecases.IknewIshould’veneverrentedtonoex-con.MywifetoldmebutIdidn’tlisten.EverytimeItrytogivesomebodyabreaktheyscrewme,”Artiesaid.Spittlesparkedfromhislips.
“Well,somebodygottascrewyousinceyourwifegaveupongettingyoutotakeabathmorethanoncemonth,”BuddyLeesaid.Artieflinchedlikehe’dbeenslapped.
“Fuckyou,BuddyLee;Igotaglandularcondition.Youknow,youain’tnothingbuttrash.BeentrashjustlikeallthemJenkins.That’swhyyoursonwasa—”Artiedidn’tgettofinishthestatement.BuddyLeehadclosedthedistancebetweentheminoneandahalfsteps.Ajackknife,itsbrownwoodenhandlesmoothandslickfromyearsofuse,waspressedbladefirstagainstArtie’sbelly.BuddyLeeballedupawadofArtie’sT-shirtandputhismouthclosetotheshorterman’sear.
“That’swhymysonwasawhat?Goon.Sayit.SayitsoIcanslityoufromnutstoneck.SplityouopenlikeakillinghogandletyourgutsfalloutlikewecookingchitterlingsforSundaydinner,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I…I…justwanttherent,”Artiewheezed.
“Whatyouwantistocomeoverherewhilemyboyain’tevencoldinthegroundandswingyourdickaroundlikeyouthecockofthewalk.AllthetimeIbeenhereIdoneletyoutalkyourshitbecauseIdidn’twantnotrouble.ButIburiedmyboytodayandnowIain’treallygotagoddamnthingtolose,So,goahead.Sayit.SAYIT!”BuddyLeesaid.Hischestheavedashisbreathcameinrapidbursts.
“I’msorryaboutDerek.JesusChrist,I’msofuckingsorry.Pleaseletmego.I’msodamnsorry,”Artiesaid.FromhisarmpitsafetidodorwaftedupthatmadeBuddyLee’seyeswater.Atleastthat’swhathetoldhimself.Withthementionofhisboy’sname,therattlesnakeinhisheartthatArtiehadpokedslitheredbackdownintoitshole.Thefightflowedoutofhimlikewaterpouringthroughasieve.Artiewasamean-spirited,unhygienicsonofabitchbuthedidn’tkillDerek.Hewasjustanotherassholethatdidn’tunderstandwhoorwhatDerekwas.ThatwassomethingheandBuddyLeehadincommon.
“Gobacktoyourfuckinghouse,Artie,”BuddyLeesaid.Heletgooftheman’sshirtandputhisknifebackinhispocket.Artiescuttledbackwardandsideways.WhenhefelttherewasenoughdistancebetweenhimandBuddyLee,hestoppedandflickedhimoff.
“That’syourass,Jenkins!I’mcallingthecops.Youain’tgonnahavetoworryabouttherentnow.Yougonnabesleepinginajailcelltonight.”
“Goaway,Artie,”BuddyLeesaid.Itcameoutflatandlistless,allthebravadogone.Artieblinkedhard.Thesuddende-escalationconfusedhim.BuddyLeeturnedhisbackonhimandwentintohistrailer.TheAChadn’tsomuchconditionedtheairassuggesteditmightwanttocooldown.
Hesprawledacrosshissofa.Theducttapeonthearmrestsnaggedafewofthehairsonhisforearm.Hefishedaroundinhisbackpocketandgrabbedhiswallet.Behindhisdriverlicensewasasmallwrinkledphoto.BuddyLeepulledthephotooutbythecornerusinghisthumbandforefinger.Itwasapictureofhimandaone-year-oldDerek.Heheldtheboyinthecrookofhisarmastheysatinanaluminumlawnchair.BuddyLeewasshirtlessinthepicture.Hishairwasdowntohisshouldersandblackasanaceofspades.DerekwaswearingaSupermanshirtandadiaper.
BuddyLeewonderedwhattheyoungfellainthepicturewouldthinkoftheoldmanhe’dbecome.Thatfellawasfullofgunpowderandgasoline.Ifhelookedreallyclose,hecouldseeasmallmouseunderhisrighteye.Asouvenirhe’dacquiredcollectingadebtforChulyPettigrew.Themaninthatpicturewaswildanddangerous.Alwaysdownforafightanduptonogood.IfArtiehadspokenillofDerekinfrontofthatman,hewouldhavewaiteduntildarkandthencuthisthroatforhim.Watchedhimbleedoutalloverthegravelbeforetakinghimsomewheredarkanddesolate.Knockedouthisteethandcutoffhishandsandburiedhiminashallowgravecoveredinaboutfiftypoundsofpulverizedlime.Thenthemaninthatpicturewouldhavegonehome,madelovetohiswoman,andnotlostaminute’ssleep.
Derekwasdifferent.WhateverrotthatlivedintherootsoftheJenkinsfamilytreehadbypassedDerek.Hissonwassofullofpositivepotentialitmadehimglowlikeashootingstarfromthedayhewasborn.Hehadaccomplishedmoreinhistwenty-sevenyearsthanmostoftheentireJenkinsbloodlinehadinageneration.BuddyLee’shandbegantoshake.Thephotofellfromhisfingersasthetremorsworsened,workingtheirwaythroughhishand.Thephotofloatedtothefloor.BuddyLeeputhisheadinhishandsandwaitedforthetearstocome.Histhroatburned.Hisstomachwasdoingcartwheels.Hiseyesfeltliketheywantedtoburst.Stillnotearscame.
“Myboy.Mysweetboy,”hemutteredoverandoverasherockedbackandforth.
FOUR
Ikesatinthelivingroomsippingonsomerumontherocks.He’dchangedoutofhissuitandwaswearingawhitetanktopandjeans.Despitetheice,therumburnedasitwentdownhisthroat.MyaandAriannaweretakinganap.Inthekitchen,containersfullofchicken,ham,andmacandcheesewerespreadacrosseveryavailablesurface.AfewofIsiahandDerek’sfriendshadbroughtvegetarianbarbecue.Whateverthehellthatwas.
Ikebroughttherumtohisheadandfinisheditinonehugegulp.Hewincedbutkeptitdown.Heconsideredgettinganotherone,thenchangedhismind.Gettingdrunkwasn’tgoingtomakethingseasier.Heneededtofeelthispain.Keepitfreshinhisheart.Hedeservedit.Inthebackofhismindhe’dalwaysthoughtthatheandIsiahwouldcometoanunderstanding.Hejustassumedtimewouldthawtheglacierbetweenthemandtheywouldbothexperienceanepiphanyofsorts.Isiahwouldfinallyunderstandhowharditwasforhisfathertoaccepthislifestyle.Inturn,Ikewouldbeabletoacceptthathissonwasgay.Buttimewasarivermadeofquicksilver.Itslippedthroughhisgraspevenasitenvelopedhim.Twentybecameforty.Winterbecamespring,andbeforeheknewithewasanoldmanburyinghissonandwonderingwhereinthehellthatriverhadtakenhim.
Ikeheldtheemptyglasstohisforehead.Heshouldhavewalkedacrossthatgoddamnglacierinsteadofwaitingforittomelt.SatdownwithIsiahandtriedtoexplainhowhefelt.Tellhimhefeltlikehehadfailedasafather.Isiah,beingIsiah,wouldhavetoldhimthathissexualityhadnothingtodowithIke’sshittyparentingskills.Maybetheybothwouldhavelaughed.Maybethatwouldhavebrokentheice.
Heletoutasigh.Thatwasanicefantasy.
Ikesathisemptyglassonthecoffeetable.Hesatbackinthereclinerandclosedhiseyes.Thereclinerhadbeenagifttohimself.Aplacetoresthiswearybonesafterferryingbagsofpeatmossandmulchalldaylong.
Ike’scellphonevibratedinhispocket.Hecheckedthenumber.ItwasoneofthedetectiveswhoweresupposedtobeworkingIsiah’scase.
“Hello,”Ikesaid.
“Hello,Mr.Randolph,thisisDetectiveLaPlata.Howareyouholdingup?”
“Ijustburiedmyson,”Ikesaid.
LaPlatapaused.
“I’msorry,Mr.Randolph.Wearedoingeverythingwecantofindthepeoplewhodidthis.Tothatend,woulditbeokayifwecamebyandtalkedtoyouandyourwife?WearetryingtoseeifanyofIsiahandDerek’sfriendsorassociateshavereachedouttoyou.We’rehavingahardtimegettingthemtotalktous,”LaPlatasaid.
“Well,you’recops.Alotofpeopledon’tliketalkingtocopsevenwhenthey’reinnocent,”Ikesaid.LaPlatasighed.
“We’rejusttryingfindaleadhere,Mr.Randolph.Sofar,wecan’tfindanyonewhohasabadwordtosay’boutyoursonorhisboyfriend.”
“Theywere…theyweremarried,”Ikesaid.Moreawkwardsilencecloggedtheline.
“I’msorryaboutthat.Wetalkedtoyourson’semployer.Didyouknowhehadadeaththreatsenttohimearlierthisyear?”
“Ididn’tknowthat.MeandIsiah…weweren’tascloseaswecould’vebeen,soIdon’tthinkthere’sanythingI’mgonnabeabletohelpyouwith,”Ikesaid.
“Whataboutyourwife,Mr.Randolph?”
“Thisisn’treallyagoodtimetotalktoher,”Ikesaid.
“Mr.Randolph,Iknowthisishardbut—”
“Doyou?Didsomebodyshootyoursoninthehead,thenstandoverhimandemptyaclipintohisface?”Ikesaid.Thephonecreakedinhishandashisgriptightened.
“No,but—”
“Ihavetogo,Mr.LaPlata,”Ikesaid.HehittheENDbuttonandputthephoneonthecoffeetablenexttotheemptyglass.
Hewalkedovertothecheappressboardentertainmentcenterthathousedtheirtelevisionanddozensofframedphotographs.Isiahkneelingwithonehandonabasketballinhisgold-and-blueRedHillCountyHighSchooluniform.ApictureofpreteenIsiahpinningMyawhenshegraduatedfromnursingschool.ApictureofIsiah,Mya,andIkethedayIsiahgraduatedfromcollege.Myastoodbetweenthem.Ademilitarizedzonetokeepthemfromarguing.Thatcamelater.AtthecookouttheyhadforIsiahgettinghisjournalismdegree.Itwassupposedtobeadaytoremember.Ithadbeen,butforallthewrongreasons.Ikepickedupthegraduationpictureandranhisthickcallusedfingersacrosstheglassbeforeputtingitbackonthetopoftheentertainmentcenter.
Ikewalkedthroughthekitchenandoutthebackdoor.Heheadedforhisshed.Heopenedthedoor,steppedinside,andflickedonthelight.Theairwasfilledwiththescentoffuelandiron.Theshedwaslarge.Fortybyfortywithaskylightandavent.Ononesideofthestructureacollectionoftoolsandyardequipmentwerestoredwithmilitaryprecision.Twoleafblowersandtwoweedtrimmershungonhooksandgleamedlikeshowroommodels.Rakesandshovelswerestackednexttoeachotherlikeriflesinanarmory.Apushmowerandanedgersatnexttoeachotherwithoutatraceofgrassordirtanywhere.Suspendedontherightsideoftheshedinthecornerbehindmotesofdustwasaheavybag.Thelonelylighthangingfromtheceilingcastoddshadowsagainstthewallbehindthebag.Ikewentovertoitandbeganbouncingontheballsofhisfeet.Hebobbedandfeinted,thenstartedpepperingthebagwithpunches.Quickone-twocombinations,feelingthestingoftheweatheredleatheragainsthisbareknuckles.
Growingup,Isiahhadbeenanaturalathlete.Whenheworkedtheheavybag,hismovementswerepowerfulandfluid.Hisfootworkwasexceptional.Hisheadmovementwaselusive.
WhenIkewasreleased,boxingwastheonlythingIsiahenjoyeddoingwithhim.Theydidn’thavetotalkwhentheywrappedtheirfistsandworkedovertheweatheredcowhide.IkehadwantedhimtoentertheGoldenGlovesorjoinanAAUteam.Hehadhopedboxingwouldbethethingthatwouldbridgethegapbetweenthem.ButIsiahrefusedtofight.Ikepressedandpushedhimbuthewouldn’tbudge.Hewasasstubbornasanyotherfourteen-year-oldkid.Finally,Ikehadpushedonetoomanytimes,andIsiahhadcuttotheheartofthematter.
“I’mnotlikeyou.Idon’tlikehurtingpeople.”
Thatwasit.They’dnevergoneintotheshedtogetheragain.Ikeunleashedaflurryofelbowstrikes.Hejumpedbackward,tuckedhischinintohischest,thenfiredoffaseriesofrightsandleftsinastaccatorhythm.Thesteadybeatofhisknucklessmashingagainstthetautsurfaceofthebagreverberatedthroughouttheshed.
IkealwayspushedIsiahtoohardandIsiahpushedrightback.MyasaidtheyweresomuchalikeIkeshouldhavegivenbirthtohim.Theirlastconversation,afewmonthsago,hadbeenaverbalshovingmatchthatendedwithaslammeddoor.IsiahhadcomeovertotellhismotherheandDerekweregettingmarried.Myahadhuggedhim.Ikehadgoneintothekitchenandpouredadrink.Afterafewmorekissesfromhismother,Isiahhadfollowedhim.
“Youdon’tapprove?”Isiahhadsaid.Ikehadgulpedhisrumandsattheglassontheedgeofthecounter.
“It’snotmyplacetoapproveordisapprove.Notanymore.Butyouknowthisain’tjustaboutyou.Y’allgotthatlittlegirlnow,”Ikehadsaid.
“Yourgranddaughter.HernameisAriannaandshe’syourgranddaughter,”Isiahhadsaid.Aveininthefurrowofhisforeheadbegantopulse.Ikecrossedhisarms.
“Look,Istoppedtryingtotellyouwhattodoalongtimeago.Butthatlittlegirl,shegonnahaveithardenoughalready.She’shalfBlack.Hermamawassomebodyyoupaidtocarryher,andshegottwogaydaddies.Sonowwhat?Yougonnamakeheraflowergirlinyourwedding?Y’allgonnarentouttheJeffersonHotelandmakeabigproductionoutofit?Andinacoupleofyearsyougonnawalkintoherkindergartenclassandalltheotherlittlekidscanaskherwhichoneisthemommy.DidyouorDerekeverstopandthinkaboutthat?”Ikehadsaid.
“That’sthefirstthingthatcomestoyourmindwhenItellyouI’mmarryingtheloveofmylife?Notcongratulations.Notevenaninsincere‘I’mhappyforyou.’Butwhatpeoplemightthink.Whatpeoplemightsay.Newsflash,Isaac,I’vedealtwithwhatpeoplehavetosayeversinceIhadtoexplainthatmyfatherwasajailbird.Iguessyou’dratherwesaidourvowsinashackinthewoodsatmidnight.Idon’tknowifyouareawareofthis,butnoteveryonethinksthewayyoudo.Noteveryoneisdisgustedbytheirchildren.Andthepeoplethatdothinklikeyou?Well,they’llallbedeadsoonenough,”Isiahhadsaid.Ikedidn’trememberpickinguptheglass.Hedidn’trememberhurlingitagainstthewall.HejustrememberedIsiahturningonhisheelandslammingthedooronhiswayout.
Threemonthslaterhissonandhishusbandweredead.ShotmultipletimesinthefrontofafancywinestoreindowntownRichmond.Oncehissonandhishusbandweredown,theshootershaddouble-tappedthemboth.Thesignofaprofessional.IkewonderedifthelastimageIsiahhadofhisfatherwasaglassshatteringagainstakitchencabinet.
Ikestartedtoscream.Itdidn’tbuildinhischestfirstthenerupt.Itcameoutfullyformedinonelongsavagehowl.Theheavybagbegantojerkandjumpspasmodically.Techniquewastossedasideinfavorofanimalisticinstinct.Theskinonhisknucklessplitandleftred-huedRorschachpaintingsonthebag.Dropletsofsweatrandownhisfaceanddrippedintohiseyes.Tearsranfromhiseyesandstunghischeeks.Tearsforhisson.Tearsforhiswife.Tearsforthelittlegirltheyhadtoraise.Tearsforwhotheywereandwhattheyallhadlost.Eachdropfeltlikeitwasslicinghisfaceopenlikearazorblade.
FIVE
BuddyLeecheckedhiswatch.Itwasfiveminutestoeight.ThesignsaidthatRandolphLawnMaintenanceopenedat8A.M.MondaythroughSaturday.Ikeshouldberollingupanyminute.
TheACinhistruckwasn’tmuchbetterthantheACinhistrailer.Theairblowingfromtheventswastepidatbest.ThesystemneededadoseofFreon,buthiselectricbillwasduethisweek.WhenitcamedowntohavingaworkingfridgeathomeoraworkingACinhistruck,thefridgewasgoingtowineverytime.
BuddyLeechangedthestationonhisradio.Nobodyplayedrealcountryanymore.Justabunchofbaby-shit-softmalemodelssingingaboutbumpingandgrindingoverasteelguitar.AloggingtruckflewdowntheroadpastthegasstationwhereBuddyLeehadparkedhistruck.RandolphLawnMaintenancewashousedinasingle-storysheet-metalwarehouseacrosstheroadfromaSpee-DeeMartanddowntheroadfromtheRedHillFlorist.BuddyLeeresidedinCharonCounty,whichwasaboutfifteenmilesfromRedHill.BuddyLeethoughtitwasfunnyhissonandIke’ssonhadgrownuponlytwentyminutesapartbutfoundeachotherincollege.Lifesendsusdownsomestrangeroadsonourwaytoourdestiny.
HewasabouttogobackinthegasstationandgetanothercupofcoffeewhenhesawawhiteduallytruckpulluptothegateatRandolphLawnMaintenance.Thetruckstopped,andIkehoppedouttoopenthegate.Herolledthechain-linkgateoutofthewayandpulledintotheparkinglot.BuddyLeewatchedhimgetoutofthetruckagainandenterthebuilding.
Asheclimbedoutofhisownramshackletruck,hestartedcoughing.Heknewitwasgoingtobebad.Hisesophagusfeltlikeitwasbeingpulledlikesaltwatertaffy.Hislungsstrainedtoforceoxygenintohisbloodstream.BuddyLeegrippedthesteeringwheelsotighthisknuckleswentwhite.Aftersixtyagonizingsecondsthecoughsubsided.Hespitawadofphlegmonthegroundandjoggedacrossthetwo-lanehighwaythatbisectedthetown.
Theinsideofthewarehousewasassparseasamilitarybarracks.Aworncoffeetablesattotherightoftheentrancebuffetedononesidebyametalfoldingchairandathreadbareleatherloveseatontheother.Anold-fashionedglass-faceddrinkmachinesatagainsttheleftwall.Mostoftheslotsinthemachinewereempty.Thethreethatweren’thadaplainbluecanthatsaidCOLAonthefront.Onbothwallstherewerenumerouspostersadvertisingawidevarietyoflawnandgardenproducts.Alltheposterseitherpromisedtokillyourgrassormakeyourgrassgrow.Afewsuggestedtheywouldexecuteinsectswithextremeprejudice.Thebackwallofthelobbyhadasecuritywindowinthecenterwithadoorontheleft.Ikewasstandingnearthesecuritywindow.Abigkeyringdangledfromonefinger.
“Hey,Ike,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeputthekeyringbackinhispocket.
“Hey.BuddyLee,right?”Ikeasked.BuddyLeenoddedhishead.
“Hey,yougotaminute?I’dliketotalktoyouaboutsomething,”hesaid.
“Yeah,Igotafew.Can’ttalklong,though.Igottagetmyguysoutontheroad,”Ikesaid.HepulledthekeysoutagainandopenedtheMasonitedoor.BuddyLeefollowedhimthroughthedoortobackofthewarehouse.Palletsoffertilizer,granularherbicide,andpesticideswerestagedinlinesthatstretchedtendeepallthewaybacktoawideroll-updoor.Longsectionsofmetallawnedgingwerestackedagainstthebackwallontherightsideoftheroll-updoor.AsmallmetaldeskwithalaptopandaRolodexwaspositioneddirectlybehindthesecuritywindow.Behindthedeskwasacubicle.Ikeenteredthecubicleandsatbehindanothermetaldesk.BuddyLeesatinaweatheredwoodenchairpositionedinfrontofthedesk.Thedeskwasasspartanasthelobby.Ithadalaptop,apenholder,anin-boxandanout-box,andnothingelse.Ashorttwo-drawerfilingcabinetsatnexttohisofficechair.
“Youeverthoughtofgettingoneofthose,um,Idon’tknowwhatyoucallit,butit’sabunchofmetalballshittingeachother.Lookslikeamagictrick.”
“No,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeestrokedthescruffonhischin.Thesmellofsweatandcheapwhiskeyhungaroundhimlikeacloud.
“It’stwomonthstoday,”hesaid.Ikecrossedhisarmsacrosshismassivechest.
“Yeah,Iknow.”
“Howyabeen?Sincethefuneralandall?”BuddyLeeasked.
Ikeshrugged.“Idon’tknow.DoingalrightIguess.”
“Youheardanythingfromthecops?”
“Theycalledmeonce.Ain’theardnothingsince.”
“Yeah,theycalledmeonce,too.Didn’tseemliketheyhadmuchinthewayofleads,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Iguesstheyworkingonit,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeranhishandsoverhisjeans
“I’vebecomeahomebodyinmyoldage.Igotowork,thenIgobacktomytrailer.InbetweenIkillafewcoldones.That’saboutit.IfIcanhelpit,Idon’thavenothingtodowiththecops.ButthismorningIgotupatsixanddroveuptoRichmond.IwentbythepolicestationandIaskedforthedetectivesontheDerekJenkins–IsiahRandolphmurdercase.Doyouknowwhattheytoldme?”BuddyLeesaid.Aquiverranthroughhisvoice.
“No,Idon’t.”
“DetectiveLaPlatasaidthecaseiscurrentlyinactive.Nooneknowsanything,andiftheydo,theyain’ttalking,”BuddyLeesaid.Heswallowedhard.“Idon’tknowaboutyou,butthatdon’tsitrightwithme.”Ikedidn’trespond.BuddyLeerestedhischinonhisfist.
“Iseehiminmydreams.Derek.Thebackofhisheadisbustedopen.Hisbrainisbeatinglikeaheart.There’sbloodrunningdownhisface.”
“Stop.”
BuddyLeeblinkedhiseyes.“Sorry.It’sjustIkeepthinkingaboutwhatthecopsaid.Thattheirfriendswon’ttalktothem.Ican’tsayIblamethem.IthinkwebothknowitcanbedangeroustotalktoJohnnyLaw,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Iain’tshockeditwentinactive.Theyain’tmakingapriorityoutoftwo…outoftwomenlikeIsiahandDerek,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeenodded.
“Yeah.Iwasn’tneverafanofthatgayshit,butIlovedmyboy.Ididn’tshowitallthetime,andIwasgonealot,butIswearIlovedhimwitheverythinginme.Ithinkyoufeltthesamewayaboutyourboy.That’swhyIwantedtotalktoyou,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Whatdidyouwanttotalkabout?”Ikeasked.BuddyLeetookadeepbreath.He’dbeenworkingonhispitchforaweek,butnowthathewasabouttosayitoutloud,herealizedhowcrazyitwas.
“LikeIsaid,Idon’tblamepeoplefornottalkingtothecops.Butwhatiftheydidn’thavetotalktothecops?Whatiftheytalkedtous?Folksareliabletotellacoupleofgrievingfathersshittheywouldn’ttellthepolice,”BuddyLeesaid.Thewordsspilledoutinonelongcontinuoussentence.Ikecockedhisheadtotheside.
“What,youwantustoplaysomeprivate-eyeshit?”Ikesaid.
“There’samotherfuckerwalkingaroundrightnow.Hegettingupinthemorningandheeatinghimabigbreakfast.Thenhegoesanddoeswhateverthefuckhedoesduringtheday.Thenheprobablygetshimapieceofassattheendofthenight.Thismotherfuckerkilledourchildren.Hepoppedthemfullofholeslikeapieceofchickenwire.Thenhestoodoverthemandblewtheirfuckingbrainsout.Now,Idon’tknowaboutyou,butIcan’tlivewithmyselfwhilethatsonofabitchisonthissideofthedirt,”BuddyLeesaid.Hiseyeswerebuggingfromtheirsockets.
“AreyousayingwhatIthinkyousaying?”Ikeasked.BuddyLeelickedhislips
“Youdidn’tgetthatBGtattoobybeingawannabe.That’sshot-callerink.Andyoudon’tgettobeashotcallerunlessyoudoneputinsomework.Alotofworkbythelooksofit.Now,Iwon’tnoshotcallerbutI’vedonemyshareofwork,too,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeletoutachuckle.
“What’ssofunny?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Youshouldhearyourself.Yousoundlikesomecrackerinanoldhillbillycrimemovie.LikeyoushouldbeanextrainGator.Lookaroundhere.I’vegotfourteenpeoplethatworkforme,notincludingmyreceptionist,who’slateagain.I’vegotfifteenproperty-managementcontracts.IhavealittlegirlinmyhousethatI’vegottahelpraisebecauseyoursonandmysonmademywifeherlegalguardian.I’vegotresponsibilities.Igotpeopledependingonmesotheycanputfoodontheirtables.Andyouwantmetowhat?PlaysomeRollingThunderorJohnWickshitwithyou?You’redrunk,butIcan’tbelieveyou’rethatdrunk,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeerubbedhisforefingeragainsthisthumb.Ikecouldhearthecallusesraspastheyslidagainsteachother.
“So,youscaredtogetyourhandsdirty?Oryoudon’tcarethatthemanwhokilledoursonsiswalkingaroundfree?”Ike’sfacesettledintoarigidmask.Underhisdeskhishandscurledintofists.
“YouthinkIdon’tcare?Ihadtoburymyonlychildinaclosedcasketservicebecausethemorticiancouldn’tputhisfacebacktogether.MywifewakesupcryinginthemiddleofthenightscreamingIsiah’sname.Ilookathisdaughterandrealizeshewon’trememberwhathisvoicesoundedlike.IwakeupeverymorningandIgotobedeverynightprayinghedidn’tgofromthisworldhatingme.YouseesometattoosandallthesuddenyouanexpertonwhothefuckIam?Youdon’tknownothingaboutme,man.What,youthoughtyou’dwalkinhereandgetthebig,scary-assBlackniggatogokillsomepeopleforyou?”
BuddyLeecouldseethemusclesinIke’sneckstandingoutinsharprelieflikea3Dmap.Hispupilshadnarrowedtopinpricks.BuddyLeeleanedforward.
“Notsomepeople.ThebastardsthatkilledDerekandIsiah.AndIwasn’taskingyoutodoitforme.Wecangetmorethanonegun,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Getthefuckoutmyoffice,”Ikesaid.Thewordscameoutslowandbrutal,likecinderblocksbeingdraggedoverasphalt.BuddyLeedidn’tmove.HeandIkelockedeyes,andBuddyLeefelttheairbetweenthemchange.Itwaschargedlikeathunderstormwasonthehorizon.BuddyLeedugaroundinhispocketuntilhefoundanoldreceipt.HegrabbedoneofIke’spens.Hescrawledhiscellphonenumberonthebackofthereceipt.HefoldeditoncebeforelayingitonIke’sdesk.Hestoodandwalkedtothedoorofthecubicle.HestoppedandlookedbackatIke.
“Whenyougotobedtonightandyou’reprayingyourboydidn’thateyou,listenrealclose.You’llhearhimaskingwhyyoudidn’tdosomethingtomakeitright.Whenyoureadytoanswerhim,yougivemeacall.Ifyoudon’t,thenIguessyoushouldcoverthatlionupwithabigfatpussy,”BuddyLeesaid.Hestompedoutofthecubicle.
IkeheardthedoorchimegooffasBuddyLeeleftthebuilding.
Hebroughthisfistsfromunderthedesk.Hisbreathwascominginshortshallowbursts.Ikeraisedhisarmsandslammedhisfistsdownonthedesk.Thepenholderjumpedandskiddedoffthedesk.Ikeslammedhisfistsintothedeskagainandthistimethelaptopdidalittlejig.
Thatwhiteboyhadthenervetositthereandtellhimhedidn’tcareaboutIsiah.Heshouldhavefedhimhisfuckingteeth.Ikegotupandwalkedoutofthecubicle.Hestoodinthemiddleofthewarehouseflexinghisfingers,tryingtoworkthestingingsensationoutofhishands.
DidBuddyLeereallythinkhewastheonlyonewhowashurting?Hedidn’thaveamonopolyongrief.Therewasn’tamomentthatwentbyhedidn’tthinkaboutIsiah.Everydayitgotalittlebitharderandalittlebiteasier.Wheneverthepainebbedslightlyhefeltguilty.LikehewasdisrespectingIsiah’smemoryifhedidn’tfeelanagonizingacheinhischesteverysinglesecond.Thedaysitgotharderhesatintheshedanddrankuntilhecouldhardlystand.
HeshouldhavejumpedacrosshisdeskandsnatchedBuddyLee’sskinnyassupoutofhischair.Pushedhimupagainstthewallofhisofficeandpressedhisforearmacrosshisthroat.IkecouldhavetoldhimhowinhisdreamshefoundthepeoplewhohadblownoffIsiah’sface.HecouldhavetoldBuddyLeeabouthowinthosedreamshetookthosepeoplesomeplaceniceandquiet.Aplacestockedwithpliersandhammersandablowtorch.IkecouldhavetoldhimhowinhisdreamsheintroducedthemtoRiotRandolph.TheOGwithninebodiesonhim,notincludingtheonethathadgottenhimamanslaughtercharge.
Ikemassagedhistemples.Hehadn’tbeenthatmaninalongtime.NotsinceJune23,2004.Thatwasthedayhe’dleftColdwaterStatePenitentiary.Ikehadwalkedthroughthosegatesandfoundstrangerswaitingforhim.Awifethathadtakencompanywithothermen.Ason,moremanthanboy,whowouldn’tlookhimintheeye.Strangershelovedwhoflinchedathistouch.
He’dmadeuphismindthefirstnighthewashome.Hewasdone.Hewasgettingoutofthelife.Asfarashewasconcerned,Riothaddiedinprison.Ikesacrificedhimforhisfamily.JustlikeAbrahamhadattemptedtodotohisnamesake.Atfirstnooneintownwantedtobelieveit.Thefirstcoupleofmonthshewashome,crackheadswouldstillsidleuptohimaskingifhewasholding.ForyearstheRedHillSheriff’sDepartmentmadepullinghimoverandsearchinghiscartheirfavoritehobby.Peopleinthegrocerystorealternatelygavehimawideberthandtheside-eye.Heignoredthemall.Hekepthisheaddownandhiseyesontheprize.Hestartedalawn-careservicewitharicketyridingmowerandarustyslingblade.Hedidn’tjustworkhard,heworkedharderthananyoneinfivecounties.BythetimeIsiahhadgraduatedfromcollegehe’dpaidoffthehouseandthewarehouse.
Helearnedhowtocontrolhistemper.Therewasnosuchthingasnonviolentconflictresolutioninthejoint.Youhitfirst,andyouhithard.Ifyoudidn’t,youwouldfindyourselfwashinganothermotherfucker’sboxers.Thefirsttimehegotcutoffintrafficafterbeingreleasedhadbeentough.Ithadtakeneverythinginhimnottochasetheguydown,draghimouthiscar,andcurb-stomphim.
BuddyLeehaditallwrong.Ikewasn’tafraidtogethishandsdirty.Hewasn’tafraidtospillblood.Hewasafraidhewouldn’tbeabletostop.
SIX
Graysonraisedhisgaragedoor.Theheatwasalivingthingthatreachedoutandtouchedhimwithasuffocatingcaress.Anoilyhazegavetheneighborhoodasepiatone,likehewastrappedinanoldphotograph.Theafternoonsuncutthroughtheexhaustfromthedieselrepairshoptotheeastandthesmokeandsteamfromthesheet-metalplanttothewest.Graysonthrewoneheavylegoverhisbike.Heslippedhishelmetoverhisbroadhead.Longblondhairtrailedfromunderthehelmetanddownhisback.HewasjustabouttofireuptheHarleywhenSaraopenedthedoorandholleredathim.
“Yourcellphoneisringing.Youknow,theoneinthenightstandyouforbidmefromtouching,”shecrowed.Graysonpulledoffhishelmet.
“Bringithere.”
“Oh,Icantouchitnow?”
“Bitch,bringmethegoddamnphone,”Graysonsaid.Saraopenedhermouth,changedhermind,anddisappearedintothehouse.WhenshereturnedshehadJerichoonherhipandthephoneinherfreehand.
“Tellhershebetternotkissyoubecauseshe’llbeeatingmypussy,”Sarasaidwhenshehandedhimthephone.
“Jesus,watchyourfuckingmouthinfrontofhim,”Graysonsaid.
“Likeyoudon’tsayworse,”Sarasaid.
“Gointhefuckinghouse.”
“Sure,keeptreatingmelikecrap.Maybeonedayyou’llcomehomeandI’llbegone.”
“Youpromise?”Graysonsaid.Saraflickedhimoffbeforegoingbackinthehouse.Graysongruntedoutabriefchuckle.They’dbehate-fuckinglatertonight.Theyplayedthesamesonganddanceforthelastfiveyears.Neitheroneofthemwasgoinganywhere.Andtheybothknewit.
Graysonopenedtheburner.Hereadthenumberandshookhisshaggyheadbeforeansweringit.
“Hello?”
“Hello.IsupposeyouknowwhyI’mcalling.”
“Igotaguess.”Thepersonontheotherendofthelinepausedforafullminute.
“So,youhaven’tfoundher.”
“It’sbeentwomonths.Ihadguyslookingforherallovertheplace.Evenputsomefeelersoutwithsomeofthehomeboysthatbuyhardwarefromus.Thatbitchisinthewind.Afterwhathappenedtothatreporter,sheain’tsayingbootoacat.Yougotnothingtoworryabout,”Graysonsaid.Thepersonontheotherendwasquietfornearlyaminutethistime.Whentheyspokeagaintheyarticulatedeachwordwithabestialintensity.
“Iwouldliketoensurethatshekeepshermouthshut.We’retooclosetoletsomewhoreruinourplans.”
“Youreallygonnagothroughwiththatshit,huh?”Graysonasked.
“It’stimeforachange.Ourpeopleareready.Wedon’tneedherinterferingwiththat.That’swhyIneedyoutofindher.Andgreenlighther.”
“Hey,sheain’tatthataddressyougaveus.Sheain’tbeentoworksincethereportergotpopped.She’saghost,man.You’regood.”
“DoyouknowhowI’vegottentowhereIam?I’llgiveyouahint.Itisn’tbecauseIdon’tpayattentiontodetails.Youandyourclubhavebeencompensatedtoperformatask.Thattaskisn’tcompleteduntilthegirlistakencareofaswell.DowereallyneedtogodownthatroadwhereIthreatenyouandyourassociates?BecauseI’drathernotdothat.We’vehadamutuallybeneficialrelationshipformanyyears.Noneedtoputthatinjeopardy.ButIneedthatgirl.Beforethetwenty-fourth.”
Graysonclenchedhisjaw.Heheldthephoneawayfromhisfaceforafewmoments.Twodeepbreathslaterandhefelthewasabletospeak.
“Ihearwhatyouaresaying.Butwe’veknowneachotheralongtime.SoyouknowIdon’tdothreats.Let’sgetthatstraight.We’llkeeplookingforthegirlbecausethat’swhatwesaidwewoulddo.Butthatrelationshipyouwastalkingabout?Thatgoesbothways,motherfucker.Rememberthat,”Graysonsaid.
“Dulynoted.Wecandiscussthetermsofthatrelationshipatanothertime.Rightnow,Ineedyoutotakecareofthatslut.”
“Uh-huh.Andwheredoyousuggestwelookforher?”
Thevoiceontheotherendofthelinewasquietforanotherfullminute.
“Thatreporter.Heshouldhavesomekindofnotesabouther.Hewasgoingtowriteastoryaboutherandhowsheisconnectedtomyaspirations,correct?Theremightbeacluetoherwhereaboutsinhisnotes.Gotohishouseandlookaround.”
Graysonlaughed.Itwasawetthroatysoundthatechoedthroughthegarage.
“Youreallythinkheleftsomemaponhiscomputerthatsays‘Lookhereforapartyslut?’Comeon,man.”
“Sinceyouaskedmeforsuggestionsonhowtofindher,I’mgoingtoassumeyoudon’thaveanybetterideas.Andno,I’mnotaskingyoutobecartographers.I’maskingyoutobewhatwebothknowyouare.Killers.I’lltextyouhisaddress.”
Thelinewentdead.Graysonclosedthephoneandputitinhispocket.
“Fuckingprick,”hemurmuredbeforefiringuphisbike.
SEVEN
Iketookabiteofhispancakes,thensippedhiscoffee.MyasatacrossthekitchentablewithaNewportdanglingfromherlipasshereadthepaper.Thesmokefloatedaroundherheadlikeagrayhalo.
“WhatyouandAriannagonnadotoday?”Ikeasked.Myadidn’tlookathim.
“Idon’tknow.It’smylastdayofffromthehospitalsoIwantedtodosomethingnicewithher,butIcan’tthinkofanything,”shesaid.Ikesippedhiscoffeeagain.HethoughtaboutsuggestingtheygotoKingsDominion,buthedidn’twantMyatosnapathimagain.Lately,anyinputhehadaboutAriannawasmetwithdisdain.
“I’msureyou’llthinkofsomething,”hesaid.Myaknockedsomeashoffhercigaretteintoateacupshewasusingasanashtray.
“Idon’tknow.Ican’tseemtogetmybraintowork.”Ikedidn’ttouchthatone.Myatookalongdragoffhercigarette.Thetipglowedredlikeadragon’seyeuntilsheexhaled.
“Idon’tthinktheyareevergoingtocatchthem,”shesaid.Ikelookedupfromhispancakes.Shehadfoldedthepaperandputitonthetable.Herhoney-browneyessearedintohim.
Heletoutasigh,finishedhiscoffee,andgotupfromthetable.He’dlostwhatlittleappetitehehad.Hewenttothesinkandrinsedouthiscupbeforeputtingitinthedishwasher.
“What?”Myaasked.
“Whatdoyoumean‘what’?”
“That’syour‘somethingisbotheringme’sigh.Whatisit?”Myaasked
Ikeleanedagainstthecounter.
“Derek’sdaddycamebytheshoplastweek.”
“Whatdidhewant?”
Ikesuckedhisteeth.“HetoldmethecopshadmarkedIsiah’scase‘inactive.’”
“Iknow.ItalkedtoDetectiveLaPlataonMonday.It’sbeentwomonthsasoflastweek,”Myasaid.Ikeclosedhiseyes.Hehadn’ttalkedtoLaPlatasincerightafterthefuneral.Hehadn’tbeenouttothegrave,either.
“Well,Derek’sdadthinksweshouldgolookingforthem,”Ikesaid.
“Areyou?”Myaasked.
“What?Golookingforthem?YouknowIcan’tdothat.”
“Whynot?”Myaasked.Ikeworkedhisjaw.Helistenedtotheligamentspop.
“Youknowwhy.ImadeyouandIsiahapromise.IfIgolookingImightfindthem.AndifIfindthem,I’llkillthem,”hesaid.Thewordscameoutplainandwithoutmuchinflection.She’dknownhimsincehewasfifteenandshewasthirteen.Myaknewhewasn’texaggerating.
Ikewaitedforhertosayhecouldn’tdothat.Hestoodtherewaitingforhertosayletthecopshandleit.Hewaitedandwaited.Theicemakerkickedin,breakingthesilence.
“I’mgonnagowakeupArianna,”Myasaidfinally.Shestubbedouthercigaretteintheteacup.Sherosefromthetable,thenslippedupthestairs.
Ikewatchedherclimbthestairs.Herstepsseemedweighteddownbyaburdensheobviouslythoughtshewascarryingalone.MaybeMyawasright.Maybehedidn’tdeservetogrieveIsiah.Itdidn’tseemfairforamantomournsomeoneabundantlythathehadlovedsomiserly.
Ikegrabbedhislunchcontainerandwasabouttowalkoutthedoorwhenhiscellphonevibratedinhispocket.Hepulleditoutandlookedatthescreen.Hedidn’timmediatelyrecognizethenumber,butitwashisworkphonesoheanswered.
“Hello.”
“HelloMr.Randolph,thisisKennethD.AdneratGreenhillMemorialCemetery.”
“Yes,”Ikesaid.
“Sir,I’msosorrytohavetotellyouthis,butwehaveabitofaproblemwithyourson’sgrave.”
“Thefuneralhomesaideverythingwaspaidfor.Mysonhadsetupaprearrangement,”Ikesaid.
“No,sir,it’snotaboutthepayment.I’mafraidthere’sbeensomedamagetoyourson’sgrave.”
“Whatkindofdamage?”Ikeasked.
“Sir,Ithinkyoushouldcomedowntothecemetery.Idon’tthinkthisissomethingwecandiscussonthephone,”Kennethsaid.
Ikehadexpectedtoarriveathisson’sgrave(thatphrasewouldneversoundrighttohim)andseealargechunkmissingfromtheheadstone.Heknewhowpiecesofgravelbecameballisticprojectileswhenlaunchedbythebladeofaridingmower.Thatwaswhyhehadallhisguysbondedandinsured.Perhapshewouldseeahugechunkofgrassmissing.Theresultofanoverzealousgroundskeepertestingoutabrand-newweedtrimmer.Ikeworkedinthedirt.Heknewtherewereonlysomanywaystodamageit.
Hehadn’texpectedanythinglikethis.
Heandthemanagerwerestandingsidebysideatthefootofthegrave.Themanagerwaspaleasthebellyofafish.Hisblondhairwasslickedbackwithsomuchproductaflywouldbreakitsnecktryingtolandonit.HewassweatingdespitetheACintheofficebeingonarctic.ThathadbeenIke’sfirstindicationthattheissuewiththegravewasmoreextensivethanhehadfirstthought.
Ikewalkedovertotheheadstone.ItwasadoublestonewithbothIsiah’sandDerek’snamescarvedintotheblackgranite.Someonehadcrackeditintwo.Probablywithasledgehammer.Oncetheyhadcrackedittheyhaddecorateditwiththeirownviewsonhomosexualityandinterracialrelationships.
DEADFAGGOTNIGGER.DEADNIGGERFAGGOTLOVERwassprayedonthetwohalvesofthestoneinneon-greenspraypaint.Theyhadalsosprayeditonthegrassovereachgrave.
“Ican’ttellyouhowsorryIamaboutthis,Mr.Randolph.Ofcourse,wewillreplacetheheadstone.Thegrasswillbeabitmoredifficult,”Kennethsaid.
“Digitupandreplaceitwithsod,”Ikesaid.Hisvoicesoundedlikearecordingtohim.
“Well,yes,Iguessthatisonesolution,”Kennethsaid.
“Iwantthegrassfixedtoday.Goaheadandmovethestonenow.Mywifeissupposedtobecomingbytoday.I’lltellheroneofyourtrucksranintoit.”
“Yessir,ofcourse.Iagainwanttosincerelyapologize.Greenhillacceptsfullresponsibilityforthisunfortunateevent,”Kennethsaid.Hetriedtosmilesympathetically.Ikecaughthiseyesandthesmilediedonhislips.
“Getthegrassdonetoday,”Ikesaid.Hestartedwalkingtowardhistruck.Heleftthemanagerandhisgolfcartatthegrave.Hefeltstrange.Hewaswellacquaintedwithhisrage.Itlivedinsidehimlikeademonwaitingformomentslikethese.Seeingthestoneshouldhavereleaseditlikeahungrybeastfreedfromacage.Thefamiliarsensationsassociatedwithitweren’timmediatelypresent.Hisvisionhadn’ttakenonacrimsonsheen.Hisstomachwasn’tdoingyogaposesinhisguts.Wasthisthenumbnesspeopletalkedabout?Thatcripplingfeelingthattookoveryourbodywhenyouwerefinallypushedbeyondyourlimits.
Ikegotinhistruckanddialedhisoffice.
“RandolphLawnCareandLandscaping,Jazminespeaking.HowmayIhelpyou?”
“Jazzy,gointomyoffice.There’sareceiptonmydesk.Onthebackofitthere’satelephonenumber.Textmethatnumber.”
“Okay.Goodmorningtoyou,too,boss.”
“Getthenumber,Jazzy,”Ikesaid.
“Alright.Hey,youokay?Youdon’tsound—”
Ikeendedthecall.
BuddyLeepulledintotheparkinglotofSander’sGrabandGo.Hethoughtthenameoftheplacedidn’texactlymatchtheactuallayout.ItwasbuiltlikeaTasteeFreezoraDairyQueen.Therewasanorderwindowandapickupwindow,bothwithaplexiglassslidingdoor,buttherewerealsoabunchofbright-redpicnictableslitteredacrossthefrontofthebuilding.BuddyLeefiguredthenamekindafit.Youcouldgrabyourfood,thengotoatable.
Ikewassittingatoneofthetablesnearthefarendofthebuilding.BuddyLeeputthetruckinparkandlopedover.Ikewaseatingfromared-and-white-checkeredpapercontainer.Hetoreintoapieceoffriedfish,thentookasipoffountaindrink.
“Hey,”hesaidafterwashingdownhisfood.
“Ididn’tthinkI’dbeseeingyouagain,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Haveaseat,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeehesitated,thentookaseat.Hepickedupaplasticmenufromthetabletopandstartedperusingit.
“What’sgoodhere?I’msohungrymystomachishittingmybackbone,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikepulledouthisphoneandsatitonthetable.
“Thecatfishisgood.Theygotfriedokra,too.Don’tmesswiththecornbread.It’shardasabrick,”Ikesaid.Hetookanothersipofhisdrink.
“Ifyouinvitedmeupheretoapologizefortellingmetogetthefuckoutyouroffice,Iaccept.Idon’tthinkeitheroneofusareinourrightmindsthesedays,”BuddyLeesaidwithoutraisinghisheadfromthemenu.
“I’mnotapologizing,”Ikesaid.
“Alright,thisgonnabeanawkwarddatethen,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikewipedhishandsonathinbrownnapkin.Heleanedonhisforearms.
“IneedyoutoknoweverythingIsaidtheotherdaywastrue.Aboutbeingresponsible.Ibuiltmybusinessfromscratch.Fromnothing.I’mproudofthat.I’veworkedhardeverysingledaysinceIgotout,tomakeagoodlifeformywife,formyson,”Ikesaid.Hepaused.Thelaughterofagroupofteenagerstwotablesawayfilledthespacethepausehadmade.
“Howyoubecomealandscaperanyway?Nooffense,butyoudon’tstrikemeasaflowerlover,”BuddyLeesaid.Hisheadwasstillburiedinthemenu.
Ikelookeddownathishands.Athistattoo.SomewhiteboysinatruckwithaliftkitsohightheyprobablyneededaladdertogetinthedamnthingandaConfederateflagdecalinthebackwindowrolledthroughtheparkinglot.Theyleftatrailofblacksmokeintheirwake.
“Tookitupinside.Theyhadclassesonit.Itgotmeoutmycell.WhentheycutmelooseIrealizedit’dgivemespaceontheoutside.Nobodywantstomakesmalltalkwhenitahundreddegreesandyougotapolesawinyourhands,”Ikesaid.TheConfederateboysparkedtheirtruck.Theygotoutandwalkedtotheorderwindow.OneofthemgaveIkealook,sawsomethinginhiseyeshedidn’tlike,andquicklylookedaway.
“ItgottowhereafterafewyearsIstartedthinkingitwaswhyIwasputhere.Youknowhowtheysayeverybodygoodatsomething,right?Butplantingflowersandtrimmingshrubs,thatshitain’twhatI’mherefor.That’snotwhatI’mgoodat.Notreally,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeeraisedhishead.
“Youdidn’tcallmebecausethecatfishhereissogood,didyou?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikepulledhisphoneoutofhispocketandplaceditonthetable.
“Whenwasthelasttimeyouwereatthegraves?”
BuddyLeeputthemenuaside.
“Eh…Iwasplanningongoingthisweek,butworkgotcrazy.Imean…shit,man,Ihaven’tbeensincethefuneral,”BuddyLeesaid.Iketouchedhisphonescreenandsliditacrossthetable.BuddyLeeclosedhismenu.Hepickedupthephoneandstaredatthescreen.
“Whatthefuckisthis?”hesaid.
“Whatitlooklike?Themotherfuckerswhokilledourboyswentandpissedallovertheirgraves,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeslidthephonebacktowardIke.Heranhistongueacrosshisbottomlip.
“Youthinkthepunkswhokilledthemdidthat?”
“Whoelsewoulddoit?IsiahandDerekweren’tfamous.Nobodywouldknowtheywere…differentjustbyreadingtheirheadstones,”Ikesaid.Hedrummedhisfingersonthetabletop.BuddyLeehunchedforwardandleanedacrossthetable.
“Letmeguess.Nowyoureadytodosomethingaboutthis,”hesaid.Ikethoughtheheardthehintofsarcasminhisvoice.
“Iwasallsettoletthepolicehandlethis.EventhoughIknewtheyprobablywouldn’tfindoutwhodidit.IwaswillingtoletthosemotherfuckersgetawaywithitbecausethepromiseIhadmadetomywifeandmysonwasmoreimportantthangettingeven.Butthentheyhadtogoandfuckuphisgrave.AnditwaslikeIrealized,whatgoodisthepromiseifmysonisdeadandmywifelooksatmelikeshewishesIwastheoneintheground?It’slikeyousaid.Thatcracked-upheadstoneismyboyaskingmewhatthefuckamIgonnadoaboutthis,”Ikesaid.
Hehadclosedhiseyes.Isiah’sfacefloatedupfromthedepthsofhismemories.Isiahatfourhoursold.AtsevenwhenIkehadstartedhisbid.Atsixteenwhenhe’dgottenhisdriver’slicense.Attwenty-sevenontheslabatthefuneralhomewithmostofhisheadblownaway.Healmostbelievedthelineofbullhe’dfedBuddyLee.ItwouldhavebeenbeautifulifIsiahhadsenthimaghostlymessagefrombeyond.ButIkedidn’tbelieveinanyfairy-taleparadiseinthesky.Hisboywasdead.Hewouldbedeadlongerthanhehadeverbeenalive.Thetruthwas,deepdowninside,Ikehadalwaysbeenafraiditwouldcometothis.Maybesubconsciouslyhewantedareasontobreakhisoath.Inthatcasethetombstonewasjustaconvenientcatalyst.Anunexpectedmeanstoanend.Aftereverythinghe’dsaidtoBuddyLeelastweek,hehadtofeedhimthatlineofcrap.Makehimthinkhe’dstruggledwiththisdecision.
“Hey,youpreachingtothechoir.Whenyouwannagetstarted?”BuddyLeesaid.Hiseyesshinedlikewetconcrete.Ikeopenedhiseyes.
“Justsoweonthesamepage.IfwegonnadothisIneedyourheadclear.Yougonnahavetocutbackonthedrinkinguntilthisisdone,”Ikesaid.
“Hey,don’tworry,afewcoldonesain’tgonna—”
Ikecuthimoff.“You’redrunkrightnowandthesun’sstillup.I’mnotgoingtowarwithsomebodywhocan’tholdtheirliquor.”
BuddyLeesatbackinhischair.
“Thatbad,huh?”
“Yousmelllikeyousleptinamasonjarfullofshine,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeelaughed.
“Thatsoundsaboutright.Alright,I’lllayoffthesauce.”BuddyLeehadnoideahowthatwasgoingtowork,buthe’dgiveitatry.Foralittlewhile.
“Onemorething.Idon’tknowwhattheboyswasinto,butitwasbadenoughsomebodykilledthemoverit.Westartpokingaroundthisthenthingsareprobablygonnagetnasty.Now,Iknowwhatyouwassayingtheotherday,butIwanttomakesureyouunderstandwhatthisis.Oncewestart,I’mpreparedtodowhateverittakestofindthesesonsofbitches.IfIgottahurtsomepeople,thenthat’swhatI’lldo.IfIhavetopunchsomebody’sticket,I’lldoit.IfIgottacrawlahundredmilesoverbrokenglassjusttogetmyhandsonthesemotherfuckers,thenthat’swhatI’lldo.I’mpreparedtobleed.Areyou?”Ikeasked.
BuddyLeeleanedhisheadbackandstaredupatthesky.Thecloudsdancedacrossthehorizon,takingonvaguelyfamiliarshapes.Ahorse,adog,acar,afacewithacrookedsmilejustlikeDerek’s.
HeloweredhisheadandlockedeyeswithIke.
“Abso-fucking-lutely,”hesaid.
EIGHT
BuddyLeeparkedhistrucknexttoIke’sintheparkinglotofIke’sshop.Hestartedtolockit,thenstopped.Ifanyonestoleit,theywouldjustbetakingonhistroubles.IkeunlockedthepassengerdoorandBuddyLeeclimbedinthecab.Ikeputthetruckingearandtheybackedup,turnedaround,andmergedintotraffic.
“Mytruckgonnabeokaythere?Idon’twantittogetintheway.”
“It’sfine.ItoldJazzyitwascool.”
“Whereweheaded?”
“IfiguredwewouldgotoIsiah’sjob.Thecopstoldmehegotadeaththreatlastyear.Icalledmywifeandshegavemetheaddress.Goodaplaceasanytostart,Iguess,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeefelttheoldfamiliartwingeworkingitswayupfromhisgutsbuthepusheditaway.Hewantedadrink.Hell,heneededadrink.TheydroveinsilenceforafewmilesbeforeBuddyLeecouldn’tstanditanymore.
“Hey,canyouplaysomemusic?”
Iketouchedabuttononthesteeringwheelwithhisthumb.ThecabofthetruckwasfilledwiththeangelicfalsettooftheReverendAlGreensingingaboutthegoodtimes.BuddyLeesatbackinthepassengerseatanddrummedhisthinfingersonhisthigh.
“Idon’tsupposeyou’reafanofcountry,areyou?”BuddyLeeasked.
Ikegrunted.“Why,becauseI’mBlack?”
BuddyLeeranahandthroughhiswildlocks.“Well,Imean,yeah.Nooffenseornothing.Justdon’tknowmanyofyourkindthatareintocountry.”
“Yousay‘yourkind’againandI’mgonnathrowyououtthistruck,”Ikesaid.Hedidn’traisehisvoiceorlookatBuddyLee.
AtfirstBuddyLeethoughthemighthavemisheardhim.WhenhecaughtIke’sreflectionintherearviewmirrorhewasconfidenthehadindeedheardhimcorrectly.“Sorry.Ididn’tmeannothingbyit.Shit.Sometimesmymouthrunsawayfrommyhead.”
“Whenyouorsomeotherwhiteboysays‘yourkind’it’slikeI’msomefuckinganimalthatyoutryingtoputinacage.Idon’tlikethatshit.Sothat’syourone,”Ikesaid.
“Myone?”
“Yourone.I’mgonnaletitslidebecause,likeyousaid,webothmightbeinaweirdstateofmind.ButthenexttimeyousaysomethinglikethatI’mgoingtochin-checkyou,”Ikesaid.
“Hey,man,IsaidI’msorry.Iain’tgonnatellyounolieandsayIgotalotofBlackfriends,becauseIdon’t.IknowsomeboysthatI’mcoolwith.ButIdon’tthinkIcouldcallanyofthemifIhadtoburyabody,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikegavehimaquickglancebeforereturninghisattentiontotheroad.
“I’mnotaracistornothing.Justdon’tknowalotofBlackpeople,”BuddyLeestammered.
“Ineversaidyouwas.Youjustanotherwhiteboythatdon’thavetoworryaboutpeoplelikemeandtheshitwegothrough,”Ikesaid.
“Lookman,theonlycolorthatreallymattersisgreen.Lookatyou.Yougotyourownbusiness.Youain’tgotabossyougottathreatentogetsomebereavementtime.Yougotanicehouse.Iliveinashitty-asstrailerinanevenshittiertrailerpark.Youdoingalright.Hell,you’redoingwaybetterthanme.Andyou’reprettyBlack,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikegrippedthesteeringwheelsotighthisknucklespopped.
“Youdon’tknowhowhardIhadtoworktojustbedoingalright.Yousayyoubelievethatshitaboutgreenbeingtheonlycolorthatmatters,right?So,letmeaskyouthis:Wouldyouswitchplaceswithme?”
“DoIgetthetruck?BecauseifIgetthetruck,hellyeah,I’llswitchplaceswithyou,”BuddyLeesaid.Heletoutalowchuckle.
“Oh,yougetthetruck.Butyoualsogetpulledoverfourorfivetimesamonthbecauseain’tnowayyourBlackasscanaffordanicetrucklikethis,right?Yougetthetruckbutyougetfollowedaroundinthejewelrystorebecauseyouknowyouprobablyfittingtorobtheplace,right?YoucangetthetruckbutyougottadealwithwhiteladiesclutchingtheirpurseswhenyouwalkdownthestreetbecauseFoxNewsdonetoldthemyoucomingtostealtheirmoneyandtheirvirtue.Yougetthetruckbutthenyougottaexplaintosometrigger-happycopthatno,Mr.Officer,you’renotresistingarrest.Yougetthetruckbutthenyoualsogettwointhebackoftheheadbecauseyoureachedforyourcellphone,”Ikesaid.HeglancedatBuddyLee.
“So,youstillwannatradeplaces?”
BuddyLeeswallowedhardandturnedhisheadtotowardthewindow,buthedidn’tsayaword.
“That’swhatIthought.Greendon’tmatterifit’sinaBlackhand,”Ikesaid.TheydroveonwiththedulcetsoundsofD’AngelohavingreplacedtheGoodReverendswimmingthroughthecab.
IkehittheinterstateandheadedforRichmond.Fiftyminuteslaterhetookthedowntownexitandguidedthetruckthroughanoff-rampsosharpitcouldslicebread.HecheckedtherearviewmirrorandmergedontoBlueSpringsDrive.Trafficwasamess,buttheduallybullieditswaydowntheroad.Ikehateddrivinginthecity.Thenarrowstreetsmadehimfeellikehewasaratinamaze.
TheGPSsaidtheyweretwohundredfeetfromtheirdestination.Ikesawaplainbrownfive-storybuildingupaheadontherightinthemiddleofacopseofoaktrees.RichmondcityplannersweretrappedbetweentheiraffectionsforthenaturalsceneryofCentralVirginiaandtheirlustforurbanexpansion.TheR.C.JohnsonBuildingsatatthenexusofthosetwocompetingsensibilities.
Ikepulledintotheparkinglotandshutoffthetruck.Theengineletoutadeathrattle,thenwassilent.IkehoppedoutandBuddyLeefollowedhim.Theheavyglassdoorsoftheofficebuildingsquealedwhentheyopenedthem.Thelobbywasatimecapsulefromtheeighties.Alabastermodelswithelectricneonlipsstaredatthemfromportraitsonbothwalls.Chairsdesignedwithstrangegeometrywerescatteredthroughoutthelobbyarea.Ablackpegboardwithwhitelettersservedasthedirectory.
“TheRainbowReviewisonthethirdfloor,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,thatsoundsprettygay,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikecuthiseyessidewaysathim.
“What?”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeshookhisheadandmadeabeelinefortheelevator.BuddyLeerolledhiseyesandfollowedhim.
TheofficesofTheRainbowReviewwerethesmallestsuitesinthebuilding.Thereweresixdeskscrammedintoaspacemeantforfour.Ahugepersonalcomputerandalaptopadornedeachdesk.Eachdeskwasmannedbyapairofintense-lookingyoungmenandwomen.Everyonewastypingonkeyboardsortalkingontheircellphonesordoingbothsimultaneously.BuddyLeeandIkewalkeduptothedeskclosesttothedoor.AredheadedbeardedmanandadreadlockedBlackwomanhadputtheirheadstogetherandwereconferringaboutanimageonhertablet.Themanraisedhishead.
“Doweneedtomoveourcarsagain?”
“What?”Ikesaid.
“Youguysarefromthelawn-carecompany,right?”thebeardedmanasked.Ikesighed.Hewasstillwearinghisworkgear.RandolphLawnMaintenancewasemblazonedoverthepocketoftheshirt.
“Canwedoitalittlelater?We’rekindofbusyhere,”thewomanwiththedreadlockssaid.
“Hey,Redbeard,weain’tthelawncrew,”BuddyLeesaid.ThatgotRedbeard’sattention.
“Excuseme?”Redbeardasked.
“Youheardhim,”Ikesaid.Redbeard’sfacestartedtomatchhishair.
“Justwhatdoyouwant?”hesaid.
“Areyouthebosshere?”BuddyLeeasked.Themanignoredhim,butthewomanwiththedreadsresponded.
“No,heisn’t.I’mAmeliaWatkins.I’mthemanagingeditor.WhatcanIdoforyougentlemen?”Ameliasaid.Shewasstudyingtheirfaces,butBuddyLeenoticedherlefthandwasunderthedesk.
“Beforeyoupullthatheater,weain’therefornotrouble,”hesaid.Ameliapursedherlips.
“Soyousay.It’sadangeroustimetobeajournalist.EspeciallyifyouworkforanonprofitthatfocusesontheLGBTQcommunity,”shesaid.Hervoicewasdeepandvibrant.ItmadeBuddyLeethinkofabluessingerhe’dheardinAustinyearsago.
“I’mIkeRandolph.ThishereisBuddyLeeJenkins,”Ikesaid.Ameliastoodandwalkedaroundherdesk.ShewasnearlyastallasIke,butslimandtoned.Herdreadsfelltothesmallofherback.
“You’reIsiah’sfather.”
“Yes,Iam.AndBuddyisDerek’sfather.Istheresomeplacewecantalk?”
“Sure,let’sgodownstairstothecoffeeshop.”
Ameliatookhercoffeeblackandshedrankitfast.BuddyLeewishedhehadsomewhiskeytopourinhiscup.Ikedidn’tgetanything.Ameliacrumpledthecoffeecupandtosseditinthewastebasketfourfeetaway.Itswishedthroughtheairandintothewastebasket.Nothingbutnet.
“Youplayball?”Ikeasked.
“Isn’tthatjusttooclichéd?Thelesbianplaysbasketball.Butyeah,Iliketoplay.Iwenttocollegeonascholarship.”
“Isiahcouldball,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,hehadawickedoutsideshot.”
“Icouldneverfigureouthowhecouldbethatwayandbesogoodatsports,”Ikesaid.
Amelialaughedbutitwasbereftofmirth.“Youthinkbecausehewasgayheshouldhavebeenknittingscarves?”
Ikedrummedhisfingersonthetable.“Idon’tknow.Inevercould…Ididn’tunderstandwhyhewaslikethat.Itcausedproblemsbetweenus.”
“Iknow.Hetoldme,”Ameliasaid.
“Hedid?”Ikeasked.
“Wetradedcoming-outstorieswhenhefirstcameonboard.Youandmydadwouldhavegottenalongfamously.Youboththinkoursexualityissomethingthathastobeexplained.Itisn’t.It’sjustwhoweare.Itwasn’tIsiahbeinggaythatcausedproblemsbetweenthetwoofyou.Itwashowyoudealtwithitordidn’tdealwithitthatcausedtheproblems,”Ameliasaid.
Ikeblinkedhard.“It…itwasn’tthatsimple.”
Ameliashrugged.“Ifyousayso.AtleastyoustillspoketoIsiah.Mydadhasn’ttalkedtomesincemyjunioryearinhighschool,”Ameliasaid.
“Nooffense,butweain’thereforatherapysession.Wewanttoaskyouaboutadeaththreathisboygotlastyear,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikestareddaggersathim,butBuddyLeejustshrugged.
“Ohyes,theBlueAnarchists,”Ameliasaid.
“Thewhat?”BuddyLeesaid.
“TheBlueAnarchists.AbunchofextremeprogressiveswhofavorthrowingbottlesandMolotovcocktailsoverconstructivediscourse.Ithinktheyarejustabunchofoverprivilegedhipsterassholesjumpingonthenextsubversivebandwagon.BackwhenIwasinschooltheywouldhavebeengoths,”Ameliasaid.
“Don’tsoundlikeyoutookthemtooserious.”Ikesaid.Ameliaopenedherhandsandshimmiedhershoulders.
“TheywerepissedbecauseIsiahwroteapiececallingthemoutontheirtransphobiaandbullshitrhetoric.Weallthoughtitwasjustthemblowingoffsomesteam,butwereporteditanyway.Bettersafethansorry,”Ameliasaid.
“Soyoudon’tthinktheycouldhavedoneit?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Mygutsaysno,butwhoknows?Peoplearecrazythesedays.We’reworkingonapiecerightnowaboutIsiahandDerekandallthequeerpeoplewhohavebeenmurderedsofarthisyear.”
“There’salotofthatgoingon?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Murdersofgayandbisexualmenareupfourhundredpercentsincelastyear.Itseemslikesomebodymadehatredhipagain,”Ameliasaid.
“WheredotheseBlueAnarchistshangout?”Ikeasked.Ameliamotionedforthewaitress.AyoungAsianwomanbroughtheranothercup.
“TheirheadquartersareaheadshopinGlenAllen.Icangiveyoutheaddress.Listen,I’mprettysurethey’rejustabunchofspoiledkids,”Ameliasaid.
“How’dyougettheiraddress?”Ikeasked.
“TheymailedIsiahtheirthreat.Thesekidsareallaboutkeepingitvintage,”Ameliasaid.
“Well,wejustwanttotalktothem.We’rekindalookingintowhathappenedtoourboys.Thecopsseemtothinkthetrail’sgonecold.Theysayyouandtherestoftheirfriendswon’ttalktothem.Ican’tsayIblameyou.Ihatethosefuckers,”BuddyLeesaid.Ameliasqueezedherself.Ikenoticedthestriationsinherarmsandshoulderswhenshedid.Itwasn’tanunappealingsight.
“Itisn’tthatwewon’ttalktothem.Speakingformyself,Idon’tknowanything.”
“Isiahdidn’ttellyouaboutanykindofstoryhewasworkingon?”Ikeasked.
“No.Typicallyourstoriesaren’tthekindthatcangetyoukilled.BeingBlackandgayusuallydoesaprettygoodjobofthat,”Ameliasaid.BuddyLeestudiedtheceilingtiles.
“Doyouthinkitwasarandomhatecrime?”Ikeasked.Ameliasippedhercoffee.Shetookalongtimetoanswer.
“No.Idon’tknowwhatitwasabout,butIdon’tthinkitwasrandom,”shesaidfinally.
“Alright.Iguesswebettergetthataddress.”
“Hey,don’thurtthosekids,okay?”Ameliaasked.Ikecockedhisheadtotheright.
“Whatmakesyouthinkwewouldhurtthem?”
“Icanseeyourtattoos,”Ameliasaid.
“Wellma’am,youain’tgotnothingtoworryabout.Wejusttwooldmenaskingquestionsaboutwhathappenedtoourboys.We’reasharmlessasacoupleofoldhounddogssittingonaporch,”BuddyLeesaid.Amelialaughed.Thistimeitfilledhereyeswithlight.
“Youaretoomuch,”shesaid.
“Darling,youhavenoidea,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeshookhisheadandletoutasigh.
NINE
Ikestartedupthetruckandbackedoutofhisparkingspace.BuddyLeestudiedthescrapofpaperinhishand.
“Youthinkthatgirlisallthewaygay?”BuddyLeeasked.
“HowthefuckamIsupposedtoknow?”Ikesaid.
“Hey,I’mjustwondering,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeslammedonthebrakes.
“Weoutheretryingtofindoutwhokilledourchildren,andyouflirtingwithalesbian.Areyoutakingthisseriously?Areyoureally?”Ikesaid.
“DidyouforgetI’mtheonewhocametoyou?YouthinkIain’ttakingitseriously?Iain’tyou,Ike.Idon’thavenobodywaitingformebackatmyfancytwo-bedroomtrailer.Derek’smomleftmealongtimeago,andthereain’tbeennobodyseriousinmybedsince.Justsomegood-timegirlshereandthere.SheturnedherbackonmeandDerekandmarriedsomebig-shotjudge.So,excusemeifIain’tafuckingmonk.Butdon’tyoueveraskmeifI’mseriousaboutthisagain.Imeanthat,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Fine,”Ikesaidbeforeputtingthetruckingear.
TheheadquartersoftheBlueAnarchistsofRVAwaslocatedinabrand-newstripmallonStaplesMillRoad.Ikeparkedthetruckandshutitoff.
“IthinkAmeliawasright,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’msureshecouldtellyoushepissedhoneyandlemonade,andyou’dbelievethat,too,”Ikesaidastheygotoutthetruck.AsignabovethedooroftheshopsaidTIMEANDTHYMEUNIQUEGIFTS.TheplacesmelledlikeincenseandpeppermintandsomethingIkecouldn’tputhisfingeronexactly.Amixtureofhairgreaseandroses.Thewallswerecoveredwithpostersofbandsandcartooncharactershedidn’trecognize.Therewereshelvesandshelvesofbongs,pipes,andcannabisaccessories.Theshopalsohadafewshelvesdedicatedtocomic-bookminiaturesandcollectibles.Araspyvoicefilteredthroughthestore’ssoundsystemsangaboutalostloveandawindingsheetanddarkskies.
Threenarrow-lookingwhitekidssatbehindaglassdisplaycasethatservedasthesalescounter.Abeardedguy,aclean-shavenguywhowassportingamonocle,andagirlwholookedlikeshehadjuststoppedwearinglight-upshoesaweekago.
“CanIhelpyou?”sheasked.
“Ihopeso.WewanttotalktosomebodyfromtheBlueAnarchists,”Ikesaid.Thethreekidsexchangedfurtiveglances.Finally,thebeardedkidstoodupfromhisstool.
“WeareallBlueAnarchists.I’mBryce,thisisTerry,andthisisMadison.Wearen’ttheonlymembers,bytheway.Ournumbersaregrowingeverydayasmorepeoplewakeupfromthecomaofforcedpatriotismandimperialsubjugation,”Brycesaid.BuddyLeethoughthelookedawfullyproudofhimself.
“Youbeenpracticingthatforawhile,ain’tya?”BuddyLeesaid.
“It’sourmanifesto,”Brycesaid.
“I’mnothereforyourmanifesto.IwanttoaskyouaboutIsiahRandolphandDerekJenkins,”Ikesaid.Hehadhisarmscrossedoverhischest.
“Who?”Terry,theonewiththemonocle,asked.Ikesteppedforward.Brycesatbackdownonhisstool.
“IsiahRandolph.Yousenthimadeaththreatlastyearforareportonyourpepclub,”Ikesaid.Brycestoodbackupdefiantly.
“Oh,youmeantheguywhotriedtoruinourreputation?Itwasn’tadeaththreat.Itwasaredressofgrievancesforhisvitrioliccomments,”Brycesaid.
“Jesus,yougotanychangeforthemten-dollarwords?”BuddyLeeasked.
“He’sdead.Hewasmysonandhe’sdead,andIwannaknowwhetherornotyourlittlepunk-asscrewhadanythingtodowithit,”Ikesaid.Achimewentoffandacouplewalkedinthestore.Theymusthavefeltsomethingintheair,becausetheyturnedaroundandwalkedout.
“Look,I’msorryyoursonisdead,butwedidn’thaveanythingtodowiththat.ButI’mnotsurprised.Hewasjustatoolofthecorporateindustrialcomplex.Peoplearewakingup,man.Theyaren’tgoingtostandbyandletthemedialapdogscreateafalsenarrativeofwhatisgoingonintheworld.Getwoke,man,”Brycesaid.Ikecockedhisheadtotheleft.BuddyLeewatchedhishandsclenchandunclenchlikebeartrapsopeningandclosing.
“Whatdidyousayaboutmyson?”Ikeasked.Bryceranhistongueoverhisupperlip.
“I’mjustsaying—”
Ike’sarmshotoutasquickasacobra.HegrabbedBrycebyhisbeardandinonebrutalmovementyankedhisheaddownuntilhisforeheadslammedintotheglasscounter.IkegrabbedBryce’srighthandwithhisleftandtwistedBryce’sarmuntilitfeltlikeitmightsnap.Terryjumpedupoffhisstool,butBuddyLeepulledouthisjackknifeandflickedthebladeopen.
“Slowyourroll,PanamaJack,”hesaidashepointedtheknifeatTerry’schest.
IkebentforwarduntilhismouthwasinchesfromBryce’sear.
“I’mgoingtoaskyousomequestionsaboutwhatyouknowaboutmyson.EverytimeIdon’tlikeananswerI’mgonnabreakoneofyourfingers,”hesaid.Madisonbegantocry.
“Hush,babygirl.Weain’tgonnahurtyou.Wejustwannaasksomequestions,”BuddyLeesaidasheflashedthegirlasmile.Shecriedharder.
“Now,didyouhaveanythingtodowithwhathappenedtoourboys?”Ikeasked.
“OhmyGod,I’mbleeding!”Brycemumbledagainstthetopofthedisplaydesk.
“Idon’tlikethatanswer.”Ikesaid.HegrabbedBryce’spinkywithhislefthand.Holdingtheyoungermandownwithhisrighthand,hepulledonthepinkywithabrutalbackwardmotion.Awetsnap.Madisonslippedfromherstoolandquietlyvomitedonthefloor.
“Let’strythisagain.Doyouknowwhokilledmyboy?”Ikeasked.Hedidn’trecognizehisownvoice.HerealizedIkeRandolphwastakingabackseattotheaction.ThiswasRiotspeaking.
“Jesus,fuckno.We…just…wejustwrotehimanastyletter,”Brycecried.BuddyLeeheardthepitter-patterofwaterhittingthelaminatedfloor.
“Ike.Ithinkhetellingthetruth.Hejustpissedhimself,”BuddyLeesaid.
“YouknowhowmanysuspectmotherfuckersI’veseenpissthemselveswhentheygotcaught?”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,butman,lookathim.Hecouldn’tbustagrapeinafruitfight,”BuddyLeesaid.IkedidwhatBuddyLeesuggested.BloodhadpooledaroundBryce’sforehead.Itwasalsospillingacrossthecountertopontothefloor.Ikecouldseeoneofhiseyes.Itrolledaroundinhissocketlikeaballbearing.Ikewantedtolethimgo,butRiotwantedtobreakafewmoreofhisfingersongeneralprinciples.Ameliawasright.Thesekidsweren’tkillers.Theywerejustabunchofoverlyidealisticchildren.Somewhereamotherorafatherwasmildlydisappointedinthem.Iketookadeepbreathandletitoutthroughhisteeth.
HepushedBryceoffthetopofthedisplaycase.Theyoungmanfellintohisstoolbeforeslidingtothefloorclutchinghisrightarm.Madisonwenttohisside.Hermouthwasstainedwithorangeandredvomit.Iketookastepbackfromthecounter.
“IfIfindoutyoulying,I’mcomingbackandbreakingtherestofyourfingers,”Ikesaid.Heturnedhisbackonthemandwalkedoutoftheshop.
“Y’allshouldprobablykeepthistoyourself.Justsaying.Mightbehealthierthatway,”BuddyLeesaid.Hefoldedthejackknifeandputitinhisbackpocket.
Ikehadthetruckrunningwhenhehoppedin.HehadbarelyclosedthepassengerdoorbeforeIkewasmashingthegaspedaltothefloorandbackingoutofthestripmall’sparkinglot.Heexecutedathree-pointturnandcrossedthegrass-coveredmedian.OncetheywereafewmilesfromtheTimeandThyme,BuddyLeeletoutawhoop.
“Whatthehellwasthatfor?”Ikesaid.
“Shit,man,itfeelsgoodtobedoingsomething.Wenotjustsittinginthedarkcryinganymore.Wedoingsomethingforourboys.ForaminuteIdidn’tfeellikeapiece-of-shitfather,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Wedidn’tfindoutanything.Itwasawasteoftime,”Ikesaid.
“Maybe.Butitfeltgoodslappingthosepunkassesaround,didn’tit?Shit,wedidwhattheirparentsshould’vedonealongtimeago.BlueFuckingAnarchists.Whatthehellisthat?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Youenjoyedthat,didn’tyou?”Ikesaid.
“Youdidn’t?”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikedidn’tanswer.
TEN
“Ithinkthat’sitoverthere,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikepulledthetruckuptothesidewalkandparallel-parkeditwithsurprisingease.
“Youknowhowtowheelthisthing,don’tyou?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Partofthejob,”Ikesaid.
TheygotoutofthetruckandstartedwalkingdownthesidewalkafewfeetuntiltheystoppedinfrontofabuildingwithaflashingLEDsigninthedoor.ThesignsaidESSENTIALEVENTSBAKERY.
“Yousurethistheplace?”Ikeasked.
“Yeah.Fairlysure.ThelasttimeItalkedtoDerekhementionedhewasupforapromotionathisjob.Iaskedhimwhereheworked.Hedidn’twanttotellmeatfirst.IguesshethoughtI’dcomedownhereandembarrasshim.Askthemtomakemeatittycakeorsomething.”
“Atittycake?”Ikesaid.
“Toldyait’sbeenafewlonelyyears,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikefeltasmiletryingtocrawlacrosshisface,buthepusheditaway.
“Hey,beforewegoinhere,IguessIshouldsaythanksforhavingmybackoverthereearlier,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeshrugged.
“Iknowyoudon’tparticularlylikeme.Andtobehonestyou’rekindofanasshole.Butweinittowinitnow,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah,Iguessso.Youthinktheyknowanythingaboutwhathappened?”Ikeasked.
“FuckifIknow.Butwhereelsewegonnago?”BuddyLeeresponded.
EssentialEventsBakerywashousedinacavernousbuildingwithhighceilingsandmultipleskylightstintedalightgreen.Itgavetheinterioravibrantverdanthue.Ikecouldtastesugarintheairandsmellbreadbaking.HismouthbegantowaterlikeaPavloviandog’s.Severaltablesweresetupthroughoutthebuildingwithamultitudeofdisplays.Six-tierweddingcakes,flower-shapedloavesofbread,cupcaketowers,skewersofbeefandchickenarrangedininterlockinglevelslikeapuzzle.Therewasacornucopiaofepicureandesignsanddelights.BuddyLeewalkeduptooneofthecakesandextendedhisfinger.
“It’scoveredinpolyurethane,”ayoungmansaid.HewasstandingbehindacounterwithacashregisterandmoreexamplesoftheartistryEssentialEventswascapableofcreating.Behindhimablackboardlistedthedailyspecialsinbright-redchalk.
“Damnthaticinglookgood,”BuddyLeesaid.Theyoungmansmiled.Hehadawidegrinwithhugeteeththatwereaswhiteashispaleskin.Hislight-blondhairwastiedupinashortbunontopofhisheadlikeasumowrestler’stopknot.
“Itis.Butthesearejustfordisplay.Seeanythingyoulike?”Theyoungmanasked.BuddyLeewalkedovertothecounter.Hesmiledbackattheman.
“Well,tobehonest,we’renotheretobuyanycakes.I’mBuddyLeeJenkins,”BuddyLeesaidasheheldouthishand.
“I’mBrandonPainter,”BrandonsaidasheshookBuddyLee’shand.BuddyLeehadfeltafirmergripfromhisgrandmotheronherdeathbed.
“Nicetomeetyou,Brandon.Thatbigol’bearbackthereisIkeRandolph.”
“Areyouguyslookingforcakeforaspecialoccasion?Arewecelebratingananniversary?”Brandonsaidwithasmile.BuddyLeefrowned.
“Saywhat?”heasked.Brandonsmiledagain.
“Hey,it’sallgood,man.Weain’tlikethatbakerinColorado.We’llmakeacakeorsetoutaspreadforanyone.Youtwomakeanicecouple,”Brandonsaid.BuddyLeeglancedbackoverhisshoulderatIke.IkegloweredbackatBuddyLee.
“Nah,son,yougotitmixedup.Weain’t…likethat.Mysonis…wasDerekJenkins.HewaswithIke’sson,Isiah,”BuddyLeesaid.
“OhmyGod.You’reDerek’sdad.Idon’tknowwhyIdidn’tputittogether.OhmyGod,I’msosorry.Wemisshimsomuch,”Brandonsaid.Hisvoicecrackedashespoke.
“Yeah,sodoI.Hey,sowe’rekindalookingintowhathappened.Thecopsseemtothinkthingshavegonecold.Youknowhowthatis,right?Theycouldn’tfindtheirasswithaflashlightandtwohands.DidDereksayanythingtoyouaboutanybodythreateninghim?Maybesomecrazydisgruntledcustomerorsomething?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Uh,nah,heneversaidanythingtome,”Brandonsaid.
“Howaboutsomethingpersonal?Didhesayhehadbeefwithanybody?Maybeanothercaterer?”
“Noway.Thisain’tlikethemafia.Noonekillsanyonebecausetheycanmakeabetterbuttercreamfrosting.”
“Well,didhesayanythingstrangeintheweeksbeforeithappened?”
Brandonshookhishead.“Idon’treallyknowanything.”
“Yeah.Yaknow,whenthecopstoldusDerekandIsiah’sfriendswasn’ttalking,Ididn’tbelieveit.Buthereyouarelyingtomyface,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeheardahardedgeinhistone.Likesteelstrikingsteel.
“What?I’mnotlying.Idon’tknowanything.”Brandonsaid.Hishandsfloppedaroundonthecounterlikedyingtrout.
“Yeah,youdo.Youknowwhatatellis,Brandon?”
“Atell?”
“It’ssomethingyoudothattellsmeyou’relying.Everybodygotone,andeverybody’sisdifferent.Nowyou?Yoursisjustalittlething.Youwannaknowwhatitis?”BuddyLeeasked.HewalkedclosertothecounterandgrabbedBrandon’sconvulsinghands.
“I’veaskedthreetimesaboutDerekandwhatyouknow.Andallthreetimesyoutugatyourearlobebeforeyouanswer.That’syourtell,Brandon.Ittellsmeyouknowsomethingandyoulyingaboutit.Now,ifyoureallymissDerekandyouwasreallyhisfriend,you’lltellmewhatyouknow,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikenoticedtheedgehadgoneoutofhistone.Nowhesoundedcomforting,likeapriest.Oragoodcopgettingaconfession.
“ItoldyouIdon’tknowanything,”Brandonsaid.HesnatchedhishandsawayfromBuddyLee.“Ithinky’allshouldgo.Igotalottodo,andthebosswillbeheresoon.”
BuddyLeesteppedbackfromthecounter.Heturned,brushedpastIke,andwenttooneofthedisplaytables.
“Youguysneedtogo,”Brandonsaid.Hishandsstarteddancingagain.
BuddyLeestaredbackatBrandon.Usingonehandhetippedthedisplaytableover.Thesix-tiermodelcakesplatteredacrossthefloor.Thechunksofchemicallytreatedconfectionlookedlikehugepiecesofcandlewax.
“Whatthehellareyoudoing?!”Brandonwailed.
“Youknowsomething,Brandon.Tellme,”BuddyLeesaid.Brandoncamefrombehindthecounter.IkesteppedbetweenhimandBuddyLee.Heputhishandontheyoungman’schestandstoppedhisforwardmomentumcold.Ikecouldfeelhisheartflutteringinhischestlikethewingsofahummingbird.BuddyLeewalkedovertoanothertableofdisplays.Usingbothhandsthistime,heflippedthetableover.Sixdifferentstylesofcupcakesspilledacrossthefloorasthetableclatteredandthelegsfoldedinonthemselves.
“Jesus!Stop!”Brandonhowled.BuddyLeecamestridingovertohimandgrabbedhimbythefrontofhisT-shirt.Ikesteppedbackoutoftheway.
“Youwantmetostartonyou?Yougonnalookworsethanthemcakesifyoudon’ttellmewhatyouknow.Justtellmewhatyouknow,Brandon.Helpme.Helpmemakethisfuckingthingright,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’mscared,”Brandonsaid.HedroppedhisheaduntilhischinwasnearlytouchingBuddyLee’shands.BuddyLeeletgoofhisshirtandputbothhandsonhisshoulders.
“Iknowyouare.Iknow.Butwhatyoutellmeain’tgoingnowhere.”
Brandonmumbledsomethingintohischest.
“What?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Isaid,Derekmetagirl.Somegirlataneventwedidforsomeguywhohadarecordingstudio.Hetoldmethegirlwasseeingsomeguywhowasabigdeal.Theguywasmarriedandthegirlwantedtotelltheworldwhatwasgoingon.Derekwasrealupsetaboutit.Saidtheguywasamajor-leaguehypocriteandasshole.HesaidhewasgonnagetIsiahtopublishherstory.Acoupleofweekslaterhewasdead,”Brandonsaid.
Ikefeltlikehe’dbeenpunchedinthegutwithasledgehammer.
“Whowasthegirl?”BuddyLeeasked.Brandonshrugged.
“Idon’tknow.Hedidn’tsayhername.Hejustsaidshewasatthepartyandtheystartedtalking.”
“Whichparty?Whothrewit?”Ikeasked.BrandonraisedhisheadandlookedatIkewitheyesaswideasastartleddeer.
“Idon’tknow.Ijusttherunthecounter.Idon’tgooutonjobs.AndDerekdidn’tsaywho;hejustsaidwhattheguydid.That’sallIknow,Iswear.WhenthecopscamearoundIwastooscaredtosayanything,”Brandonsaid.Hisvoicedroppedtobarelyawhisper.BuddyLeeclappedhimonthefaceafewtimes.
“Okay.That’sgood,Brandon.That’srealgood,”BuddyLeesaid.Hegesturedtowardthedoorwithhishead.Ikestartedtowalkout.
“Brandon,ifanybodyask,somekidscamein,toreuptheshop,andleft.Yougotme?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah.Sure,”Brandonsaid.
Ikemergedbackintotrafficandheadedfortheinterstate.Theafternoontrafficwasslowandsteady.Thelightfromthesettingsunbouncedofftheparkedcarsthatlinedthesidewalk.
“Thatwasprettyslickbacktherewiththat‘tell’thing.Ineverhadanameforit.Imean,Iknowhowtoreadtheroom.Icantellwhensomebodyabouttogooff.Younoticehowtheystandingorwheretheyputtheirhands.Shitlikethat.Wasyouonthegrift,backintheday?”Ikesaid.
“Ididalittlebitofeverything.Myoldmanwasonthegrift.Myuncleswereoutlaws.Onlymymamatriedtowalkthestraightandnarrow.ShewasJesusallday.IthinkwhatIlearnedfrommydaddydonecomeinhandymoretimesthanwhatmymamataughtme,”BuddyLeesaid.
“It’salmostsix.Whatyouthinkweshoulddo?Howwegonnafindthisgirl?”Ikeasked.BuddyLeescratchedathischin.
“Iwasthinkingaboutthatassoonashesaidit.Whatdoyouthinkaboutgoingbytheboys’house?Takealookaround.Wemightbeabletofindoutwhothisguywasthatownedthemusicstudio,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Mightfindoutwhothisgirlwas,too.Alright.IgotIsiah’skeys.DidtheygiveyouDerek’sstuffatthefuneralhome?”Ikesaid.BuddyLeebitatoneofhisfingernails.Hedidn’tspeakuntilIkehadhittheon-ramp.
“Theytriedto.Iwasinbadplaceatthewake.Ididn’twantit.Idon’tknow,IguessIwaskindamadatDerekbecausehewasdead.AndifIdidn’ttakehisstuff,thenitwasn’treal.Iwasprettydrunkthatday,too,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeletabreathwhistlethroughhislips.
“Yeah.Iknowwhatyoumean.Itwasliketheyweren’treal.Layingtherelikemannequins.IthinkIkilledawholebottleofrumthatnight.”
“Hey,there’sonlyroomonthisteamforonealcoholic,”BuddyLeesaid.
Ike’scellphonevibratedinhispocket.Hepulleditoutandcheckedthescreen.ItwasMya.
“Hey.”
“Hey.Whereyouat?Icalledtheshopandtheysaidyouweren’tcomingintoday.”
“Justhadafewthingstotakecareof.What’sup?”
“Ijustleftthecemetery.TheysaidIsiah’sheadstonegotdamaged.Didtheycallyou?”Ikecheckedhismirrorandchangedlanes.
“Yeah,IwasgonnatellyouwhenIgothome.Theguysaidtheygonnareplaceit.”
“Jesus,whatthefuckaretheydoingupthere?”Myaasked.
“Itwasanaccident.Theygonnafixit.”
“Ariannagotdownonherkneesatthegravetoday.Iaskedherwhatshewasdoing.Shesaidshewassayinghitoherdaddies,”Myasaid.Ikedidn’tsayanything.Hecouldfeelthesilencebetweenthemslowlystranglinghim.
“Inearlylostit,Ike.Iwantedtolayontopofthatgraveandstaythereallday,”Myasaid.
“Ithurts,”Ikesaid.
“Anditain’tnevergonnagetanybetter,isit?”Myaasked.
“Idon’tknow,”Ikesaid.Mya’sbreathinggotheavy.Herweepingbegantofillhisears.
“IguessI’llseeyouwhenyougethome,”shesaidbetweensobs.Thelinewentdead.
“Everythingalright?”BuddyLeeasked.
“No,”Ikesaidasheputthephonebackinhispocket.
ELEVEN
Graysonpulleduptotheclubhouseinacloudofdust.TheridefromtheSouthsidetoSandstonhadbeenmiserable.Itfeltlikehe’dbeenstuckinthearmpitofagoddamnorangutan.Heclimbedoffthebikeandstrappedhishelmettothehandlebars.
Theclubhousewasanoldtwo-storyfarmhousewithawraparoundporch.Tommy“BigBoss”Harris,theclubpresidentbeforeGrayson,whowasnowservingtwentytolife,hadbuiltanenormousthree-cargaragebehindtheclubhouseforbrotherstoworkontheirrides,breakinfreshtail,andhandleclubbusiness.Arowofbikeswasparkedofftotheleftofthemainbuilding.MuscularexamplesofAmericansteelandingenuity.Ironhorsesforthenewoutlaws.
Twobrotherswerehangingoutontheporch.Dome,thevicepresident,wasleaningagainstoneofthecolumnsthatsupportedtheroofoftheporch.Gremlin,theclubmechanicandsergeantatarms,waslounginginaleatherreclinerthatwasparkedinthecorneroftheporch.Thebeatofasouthernrocksongexplodedouttheopenfrontdoor.Thesmellofweedfollowedit,accompaniedbyawoman’shighlaugh.
WhentheysawGraysonapproaching,DomestraightenedupandGremlinroseoutofhisseat.
“Hey,Grayson.”
“What’sup,brother?”Gremlinsaid.
“Themjigsbeendownyet?”Graysonasked.DomeandGremlinexchangedfurtiveglances.
“Yeah,theycamedown.Theydidn’twannabuytheMAC-10s,though,”Domesaid.
“Whythefucknot?”Graysonasked.
Domeshiftedhisweightfromonefoottotheother.“Theysaidtheirbossguysaidtheyweretoohot.Couldn’tmovethem.Saidyouandthebosswasgonnatalkaboutit.”
“Andy’alljustlethimwalkawaylikethat?”Graysonasked.
Domelickedhislips.“Uh.Imean,hepaidusfortherestofthestuff.”
“Tookallthehandguns,”Gremlinchimedin.Graysonputhisleftfootonthebottomstepoftheporch.HemotionedforDometobendforward.Thetallermanhesitated,thendidashewasasked.GraysongrabbedthehoopdanglingfromDome’srightearandtwistedituntilthelobelookedlikeapieceofbraidedrope.DomesquealedasGraysonwhisperedinhisear.
“Don’tyouever,aslongasyougotbreathinyourlungs,everletsomebodyshortusonadeal.TheyaskedforMAC-10s,theytaketheMAC-10s.Thisain’tmotherfuckingBurgerKing.Yougotpeopleoutherethinkingwesoft-asspunks.Whatdoesthatpatchonyourbacksay?”Graysonasked.
“RareBreed!”Domehowled.
“Youthinkwepunks?Youthinkwesomegangbangersonthecornermovingshitoutthebackofabroke-downImpala?”Graysongavethehoopanotherquarterturn.
“NO!”Domescreamed.
“Don’tyoueverletanybodywalkawayfromherewithsomeofourmoney.You’resupposedtobethefuckingvicepresident.Youbetterstartactinglikeit,”Graysonsaid.
“Okay,okay!”Domewheezed.
“FindanothercustomerforthemMAC-10s.”GraysonletgoofDome’sear.“TellAndyandOscarIwanttotalktothematthetable,”Graysonsaid.Heheadedforthegarage.Domerubbedhisear.Hisfingerscameawayred.
“Youneedsomealcoholorsomething?”Gremlinasked.
“Justgogetthefuckingprospects,”Domesaid.
Graysonwassittingattheheadofthetablewhentheprospectscameshufflingin.Astringofsicklyyellowlightscastweakshadowsthroughoutthegarageandacrossthetable.Theclub’semblem,awolf’sheadcoveredinironplating,waspaintedinthecenterofthetablewheretheclubvotedonofficialbusiness.AndyandOscarstoppedatthefootofthetable.Graysondidn’taskthemtosit.
“Youbothwantyourpatches,don’tya?”Graysonasked.Thetwomennodded.Oscarnoddedsohardhishairfellintohisface.Andywastallandleanlikeasapling.Oscarwasaswideasawalkingrefrigerator.Graysonthoughttheyresembledthenumber10.Theybothworedenimcutswiththechapterlocationonthebottom.
“I’mlookingforagirlcallsherselfTangerine.Beentryingtofindherforafewmonths.Therewasthispunk-assreporterwhowastalkingtoheruntilhegothimselfkilled.Ineedy’alltogoovertohisplace.You’llprobablyhavetobustin.Lookaround,seeifyoucanfindanythingaboutTangerine.Ifyoudofindsomething,I’llspeeduppatchingyouin.”
“Wegottabreakintheplace?”Oscarasked.
“DidIfuckingstutter?Didyounotjusthearmesayyougonnahavetobreakintheplace?Whatthefuckiswrongwithyou?”Graysonsaid.Hepunctuatedeachsentencebyslamminghisfistintothetable.
“Don’tworry,wegotit.Weain’tgonnaletyoudown,”Andysaid.
“Youbetternot,”Graysonsaid.Hestoodandextendedhisfist.AndyandOscarextendedtheirs.Thethreemenbumpedknuckles.
“WemakethembleedfortheBreed,”Andysaid.
“WemakethembleedfortheBreed,”Oscarsaid.
“Damnrightyoudo,”Graysonsaid.
TWELVE
Ikeparallel-parkedhistruckbetweenabright-pinkscooterandacarthatwassosmallhecouldhaveprobablypickeditupwithonehand.Astreetlampwithabustedbulbtoweredoverthem.
“Thismyfirsttimehere,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Icamehereonceforthehousewarming.Rightafterit…happened,Myawastalkingaboutuscomingoverandcleaningtheplaceup.Twomonthslaterandallwedidwastalk,”Ikesaid.
Thehousewarming.Anothernightthatendedinyellingandslammeddoors.HeopenedhisdoorandBuddyLeesoonfollowed.Civillyengineeredoaktreesdottedthesidewalkattwenty-footintervals.Theychasedthestreetlampsdownthesidewalk.Bikerackspoppedupeveryfewfeetlikeironhedges.IkeandBuddyLeewalkedsidebysideastheyheadedtothetownhouse.
“Thingsupheredonechangedalot,”Ikesaid.
“Ohyeah?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Backinthedaythereusedtobethisol’boywhoranalotofproductthroughthispartoftown.Iusedtorunwithacrewbackhomewhoboughtfromhim.Whenweusedtoridethroughheretore-up,everyotherbuildingwasacrackhouse.Baseheadswanderingupanddownthestreetlikezombies.Offeringtohavetheirgirlsuckyourdickforaten-dollarrock.Iftimesgotreallytight,they’doffertodoitthemselves.Icomethroughonetimedoingafavorforthatol’boy.SprayedthiswholestreetupwithanAK,thencarriedmyassbacktoRedHill.”
“Whowasyouafter?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Idon’tevenremember.Ithinksomebodywastryingtopushuponhim.Ormaybetheysteppedonhishomeboys’shoesoverattheSatellitebarandhehadmecomethroughtocorrectthem.Idon’tknow.Ididalotofdumbshitbackthenforstreetcred.WhenIwentinsideIlearnedthehardwaystreetcreddon’tmeanshit,”Ikesaid.
“IthinkIcouldgiveyouarunforyourmoneyinthedumb-shitdepartment.MylasttimearoundthemulberrybushItookafallthatwasn’tminetotake,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Forreal?”Ikeasked.
“Yeah.Mybrother,myhalfbrotherDeak,andmegotpickedupwithatrunkfullofice.WewasmovingitforafellanamedChulyPettigrew.Deakdidn’thavearecord.Minewaslongenoughtowrapupamummy.IwantedDeaktostayclean.Hewasn’tbuiltforthatkindoflife.Theywouldhaveeatenhimaliveinside.Ididmybesttomakesureitwashisfirstandlastrun.SoIkeptmymouthshutaboutChuly,tooktheblameforDeak,andgotthreetofiveyears.Didthefullfive.AfterIwentawayDeakwentoutwestandgotajobonanaturalgascrew.FarasIknowhe’sstillthere.”
“Huh,”Ikesaid.
“What?”
“Youhadatrunkfullofmethandyouonlygotfiveyears?Ifyouhadlookedlikeme,theywouldhaveputyouunderthejailformovingthatmuchweight.Igotfriendswhogotthreetofiveforholdingweed.Weed,”Ikesaid.
“Idon’tknowaboutthat,”BuddyLeemumbled.
“Ido.Thisistheplace,”Ikesaid.He’dstoppedinfrontofatwo-storytownhousewithslat-boardsidingstainedadeepburgundy.Thefrontstepswerepaintedasleepycreamcolor.Alargeblackceramicplantersatatthebaseofthesteps.ItwasdecoratedwiththeinitialsIR&DJ.Theletterswerefatandwideandpaintedwhite.Liketheyhadbeendrawnonbyhand.Ikepulledthekeyoutofhispocketandopenedthedoor.
Theysteppedintoasmallfoyerthatwasdecoratedinunderstatedbluesandwhites.Anumbrellacontainersattotheirleftnexttoacoatrackcarvedoutofalargepieceofwhatappearedtobedriftwood.Alackofmovementinsidethehousehadallowedapalltosettleovertheentirestructure.Theairhadastale,spoiledscent.Athinlayerofdustcoveredmostoftheexposedsurfaces.Deathhadlaidhiscoldhandonthisplaceandstilleditsheart.
Thelivingroomcontinuedtheunderstatedmotif.Asectionalcouchdominatedthespace.Aflat-screenTVwasmountedonthewallfacingthecouch.Totheirright,picturesdetailedvariousmomentsofIsiahandDerek’slifetogether.Tripstheyhadtaken,partiestheyhadattended.Quietcandidmoments.PicturesofthetwoofthemholdingAriannaasanewborn.Thethreeofthemwearingpaperpiratehatsatarestaurant.Ablack-and-whitepictureofAriannablowingonadandelion.ApictureofthethreeofthemandAriannaholdingaposterwiththeword“DEED”writtenonitincartoonishlylargeletters.DerekandIsiahweregrinningfromeartoear.Ariannaappearednonplussed.
Thephotoswereamosaicshowingtheevolutionoftheirjourneytogether.
“Theylookhappy,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah.Theydo,”BuddyLeesaid.Hepointedatthepictureofthecomicaldeed
“Theymusthavepaidthehouseoff.Derektoldmeonedayhewasgonnahaveahouse,notatrailer.Goddamnifhedidn’tdoit,”BuddyLeesaid.
Heclappedhishandshard.Acrackechoedthroughthehouse.
“Whereshouldwestart?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Iguessweshouldsplitupmaybe?I’llgocheckthebedroom,andIthinkIsiahhadanofficeintheback.Irememberhimsayingtheyhadclosedinthebackporch.Youwannacheckaroundinhere?”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,that’scool.I’lljustgothroughanythingthathasadrawerpullonit,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Alright.Hollerifyoufindsomething,”Ikesaid.Hewalkedthroughthelivingroomanddownashorthall.BuddyLeestartedwithanendtablethatsatnexttothesectional.Itwasfullofjunkmailandoddsandends.Hemovedontoacoffeetablewithtwodrawersoneachend.Hethoughtthatwasastrangedesignchoice,butwhatdidheknow?Heusedmilkcratesforfurniture.Amultitudeofremoteswereinonedrawer.Theotherdrawerheldafewmagazines.BuddyLeeclosedthedrawerandstudiedthewallofpictures.Hehadn’tnoticedanaccenttablethatwassittingunderthepictures.Thereweretwotinybook-shapedpictureframessittingonthetable.Hepickedoneofthemupandfelthischestheave.Itwasacopyofthepicturehekeptinhiswallet.TheotherframeshowedayoungBlackboyandamanthatwasamuchyoungerIke.TheboywasonIke’sshoulders.BuddyLeeputtheframebackonthetable.Nexttothispicturewasaphotohehadn’tseeninovertwentyyears.
ItwasChristineandDerek.TheyweresittingonthestepsofthetrailerthethreeofthemhadsharedbeforeBuddyLeegothimselflockedupthelasttime.Christinewasasbeautifulasasunset.Auburnhairfallingdownherbacklikeawaterfall.Bigcornflower-blueeyes.Thatdimpleinherchinthathaddrivenhimcrazyallthoseyearsagowhentheyhadfirstmet.He’daskedhertodanceatabonfireandshehadsaidno.Notinacruelorhaughtyway.Justasimple,succinct,I-can’t-be-botheredfashion.He’dgoneandfoundahandfulofwildflowersjustinsidethetreeline.Hereturnedtothelogsheandherfriendshadbeensittingonandgotdownononeknee.
“Dancewithme.JustonedanceandI’llneverbotheryouagainfortherestofyourlife.”
“Isthatapromise?”
“Scout’shonor.”
“Youdon’tlooklikemuchofascout.”
“AndyoulookliketheprettiestwomanonGod’sgreenearth.C’mon,onedance.Iwon’teventryanddipyou.”
Shehadlaughedatthat.Afull,throatylaughasbrightandsweetassummeritself.Theyhaddanced.Theyhadkissed.TheyhadgonedownalongdirtlaneinhisCamaroandfoundparadiseunderaharvestmoon.Forafewyearsithadbeenmagic.Butmagicwasjustsleightofhand,andeventuallythemagician’sassistanthadseeneverytrick.Bythetimehe’ddonehissecondstintinside,Christinehadseenenough.Hedidn’tbegrudgehermovingonandmarryingthatrichprick.Hell,hewouldhavedivorcedhim,too.Thatwasunderstandable.ButthewaysheerasedDerekfromherlifewasjustwrong.Heknewhewasn’tmuchofafather,butwhatkindofmotherdidthattoherownchild?
BuddyLeeremovedthepicturefromtheframeandputitinhisbackpocket.Hemovedontothekitchen.BuddyLeewasoverwhelmedbythesheervolumeofequipmentthatwascrammedintothisspace.Thedecorinherehadanold-schoolAmericanavibe.Black-and-white-checkeredfloors.Stainless-steelappliances.Blackcabinetswithgranitecountertops.BuddyLeefiguredthosecountertopshadtobegranitetoholdallthecookingutensilsandmachineryDerekhadacquiredovertheyears.BuddyLeedidn’tknowwhathalfofthisshitdid,butheknewhissonhadprobablymasteredallofit.Derekhadlovedtocookeversincehe’dfirstseenhisgrandmotherstirringcakebatter.BuddyLee’scousinSamhadbeenahellofacook,too.CulinaryskillsranintheJenkinsfamily.IthadjustleapfroggedoverBuddyLeeandlandedonDerek.Derek’saffinityforcookinghadneverstruckBuddyLeeasgay,perse.Itwasjustsomethinghewasgoodat.Evenwhentheyargued—whichwasn’toften,because,ifhewasbeinghonest,hedidn’tseeDerekthatmuch—he’dneverthrownanyshadeathimforbeingachef.Notthathedeservedamedalforthat.He’dsaidplentyofothershitthatheregretted.ItwasjusttoobadittookDerekdyingforhimtorealizeit.
BuddyLeewentthroughthecabinetscheckingsugardishesandsaucepanswithtops.Hewasn’tsurprisedwhenhefoundsomeweed.Alotofpeoplehidtheirstashinthekitchen.He’drobbedenoughhousestosayitwasn’tananomaly.Therewasnothinginthedrawersexceptknives,forks,andspoons.BuddyLeeputonehandonhishipandrubbedhisforeheadwiththeother.
Whatwashedoing?Thiswasawasteoftime.Itwasn’tlikehewasgoingtofindanotebookwiththegirl’sname,thenameofthepersonwhokilledhisson,andanaddresswherehecouldfindthem.Whatheshoulddoisgobackandtalktothatkidatthecaterer’s.Squeezethenameoftheguywhohadthepartyoutofhimlikeanapplecaughtinavise.BuddyLeeplacedhishandonhisforehead.Theicemakermadeahorrificsoundbeforeitdroppedaloaddownthechuteintotheholdingcontainer.BuddyLeethoughtitsoundedlikemaracas.Hetookasteptowardit.Therewasanotepadonthefridgeattachedwithamagnet.BuddyLeegrabbedit.Therewasadoodleonthefirstpageofthenotepad.Afairlysophisticateddrawingofapairofshoes,thenanarrow,thenwhathesupposedwasapieceoffruitfollowedbyanexclamationpoint.Atthebottomofthepagetherewereaseriesofnumbers,thenaspaceandthenanothersetofnumbersandanexclamationpoint.
BuddyLeestudiedthedrawings.Apartofhimthoughtitwasjustwhatitlookedlike,adoodle.MaybeIsiahandDerekwerejokingaroundandoneofthemscrawledanamateurcomicstripontheirmessagepad.Buthisguttoldhimitwassomethingmore.Theexclamationpointmadeitseemimportant.BuddyLeefannedthepadagainsthishand.
Hetorethepageoffandputitinhisfrontpocket.Hetrustedhisgutbuthedidn’talwayslistentoit.That’showheendeduptakingtwofalls.Hewasn’tageniusbuthelearnedfromhismistakes.Mostofthetime.
Ikestoodforalongtimeinthedoorwayofthefirstroomhecameto.ThiswasIsiahandDerek’sbedroom.Thiswaswheretheyslepttogether.Heldeachotherthroughthenight.Ikedidn’tgetit.HowcouldIsiahfeelthesamewayaboutDerekthatIkefeltaboutMya?Ikeshookhishead.IfIsiahwereherehewouldtellhimtherewasnothingtoget.Loveislove.ButIsiahwasn’there.Hewasdead.
Ikesteppedintheroomandstartedtotearitapart.Hepulledoutthedrawersinthenightstandsanddumpedthemonthebed.Theywerefilledwiththeusualhodgepodgeofitemsthatfoundtheirwayintoanightstand.Fingernailfile,eyedrops,bandages,lube,andahugecollectionofbarnapkins.Ikepickedupone.InthecornerthewordGarland’swasprintedincursive.AlmostallthenapkinswerefromGarland’s.Ikeballedupthenapkinandtosseditinthetrash.Heturnedandwenttothecloset.Therewasacollectionofhatsonthetopshelf.Baseballcaps,fedoras,skullcaps,andatam-o’-shanter.Theclosetwasjam-packedwithshirtsandblazershangingincolor-coordinatedorder.Ikesmiled.Isiahusedtodothesamethingwithhissneakersasakid.Thesmilefaded.
IkewalkedoutofthebedroomandheadedstraightforIsiah’soffice.Theroomwasjustasorganizedasthecloset.Aslimbookcaseinthefar-leftcornerhadalltheeditionsarrangedinalphabeticalorderbytitle.Inthefar-rightcornerwasatallfilingcabinet.InthecenteroftheroomwasaclearLucitedesk.Acomputerwasinthemiddleofthedesk.Alandlinephonesatnexttoitlikearelicinamuseum.Therewasacompositionnotebooknexttothephone.Ikeflippedthroughit.TherewerenoteswritteninIsiah’sprecisehandwriting.MostofitwasgibberishtoIke.ItwassomesortofshorthandthatonlyIsiahcoulddecipher.Thelastentrywasonlyonesentence.
“Doessheknow?”
NexttoitIsiahhaddrawnafrownyface.Ikestaredatthepage.Whatthehelldidthatmean?Whowas“she”?Wasshethegirlfromtheparty?Wasshesomeoneelsenotconnectedwiththatgirlatall?Ikeputthenotebookbackonthedesk.Howdidthepolicedothisshit?Hedidn’tknowenoughaboutIsiah’slifetomakesenseofanythinginit.
Ikepushedabuttononthephoneandpulledupthecalllog.He’dseenadetectivedoitinamovieonce.Hescrolledthroughthenumberswithoutanyfirmideaofwhathewastryingtofind.Hedidn’tknowIsiah’sfriends,sothenumberswerejustacollectionofdigits.NoonehadcalledsinceMarch24.Thatwasthenightithappened.Ashescrolled,somethingjumpedoutathim.Thedaybeforetheboyswereshot,onenumbercalledeighttimesinarow.Ikepushedanotherbuttononthephoneandcheckedthemessages.Aroboticvoiceannouncedthereweretwelvemessages.
IkepressedPLAY
Themajorityofthemessageswerefairlyinnocuous.Hewassurethecopshadalreadydonethis,butitdidn’thurttohearitforhimself.Thelastmessagewasleftthedaybeforetheshooting.Abreathlessvoicerumbledoutofthespeaker
“Hey,it’sme.Ichangedmymind.Idon’twanttotalkaboutit.I’msorry.I’mscared.Bye.”
Themachinecutitselfoff.Ikedidn’trecognizethevoice,buthethoughtitsoundedlikeawoman.Shewasn’tjustscared.Shesoundedterrified.Ikecheckedthephonenumber.Ithadalocalareacode.Ikegrabbedapenandascrapofpaperoffthedeskandwrotethenumberdown.Ashewastranscribingthenumberhecouldn’thelpthinking,WhatthehellhadDerekgottenIsiahinto?
THIRTEEN
Andypulledascrewdriveroutofhispocket.Hejammeditbetweenthedoorjambandthelock.Oscarstoodbehindhim,shieldinghimfromthestreetwithhisbulk.Notthathereallyneededanyshielding.Therewashardlyanybodyonthestreet.Afewstumblinglostsoulswhoweren’tworryingaboutanythingbuttheirnextdrinkorhit.They’dparkedthreeblocksawayjustincasesomecivic-mindedneighbordecidedtocopydownAndy’slicense-platenumber.
Hegrippedthedoorknobandturneditasheforcedthescrewdriverintothejamb.Tohissurprisetheknobturnedwithalmostnoeffort.
“Shit,Ithinkitwasopen,”Andysaid.
“Huh.Well,let’sgetthisoverwith,Iguess.”
Andypaused.Whywasthedoorunlockedanyway?Hadtheystumbledonsomebodyrobbingtheplace?Hewasn’tsureofhowyoudefinedirony,buthethoughtthatwouldbedamnclose.Andytouchedthesmallofhisback.Thebuttofa.357ColtPythonrestedagainsthiswaistband.He’dgottenitfromGraysonwhentheylefttheclubhouse.Hedidn’tthinktheywouldneedit,butifyoustayedpreparedyoudidn’thavetogetprepared.Thatwasoneoftheonlythingshispiece-of-shitmotherhadsaidthatactuallymadesense.
“Yeah,let’sdoit,”Andysaid.Itdidn’tmatterwhythedoorwasunlocked.Itdidn’tmatterwhatmightbeontheothersideofthatdoor.AllthatmatteredwasgettingwhatGraysonaskedforsotheycouldbemadefullmembers.Andypulledthedooropenandsteppedinsidethehouse.
BuddyLeeleanedagainstthesink.Hischestwasastightasvirginpussy.Hetriedtocoughbuthecouldn’tseemtogetenoughairintohislungs.Heflickedonthefaucet.Hecuppedhishandsandcaughtsomewater.Hesplashedhisface,tookadeepbreath,andfinallycoughedupsomephlegm.Hespitintothesink.Thelight-greenishphlegmwasstippledwithredspots.
“Well,thatain’tgood,”hemurmured.
Thefrontdooropened.
BuddyLeesnappedhisheadupandwhirledarounduntilhewasfacingthelivingroom.Twomenhadsteppedinsidethehouse.Oneofthemwasatalldrinkofwaterwithaspindlyframethatcoulduseafewpounds.Theotheronehadbulktospare.Hecoulddonatefiftypoundstohisbuddyandstillbeaswideasatank.
Theytiptoedintotheroomlikeapairofskittishdeer.BuddyLeeleanedbackagainstthesink.Hereachedbehindhimandpulledthefirstthinghishandtouchedoutofthedrainbasket.Thathappenedtobeaheavydecorativejellyjar.Hegrippeditbehindhisbackwithhisrighthand.Theyhadn’tseenhimyet.Hecouldtryslidingoutthekitchenanddownthehall.Probablywouldn’tworkbuthecouldtryit.Ofcourse,ifhedidthathewouldn’tbeabletoaskthemwhatthehelltheyweredoinginhisson’shouse.Hedidn’tthinktheywereJehovah’sWitnesses.
“Heythere,fellas,”BuddyLeesaidfromthekitchen.Thetwomenstoppedintheirtracks.
“Hey,”Andysaid.Helethisrighthandslipintohisbackpocket.
“Whaty’allfellasdoingwalkingupinmyson’shousewithoutknocking?Y’allfriendsofhis?”
AndyandOscarexchangedalook.BuddyLeehadseenthatlookbefore.Theyweredecidingwhichoneofthemweregoingtotellthelie.Andysmiled.
“Yeah,we’refriendsofhis.”
“Youallmustworkwithhimatthenewspaper,”BuddyLeesaid.Andymovedhishandclosertohisgun.
“Yeah,that’sit.Weallworkatthenewspapertogether,”Andysaid.BuddyLeesmiledbackatAndy.
Youalyingsackofshit,hethought.
AndysawthesmilecrawlacrossBuddyLee’sface.Henoticeditneverreachedhiseyes.
Shit,hethought.
Thehousewentquiet.BuddyLeecouldhearthetickingoftheclockabovethesink.Thehumofthetrafficonthestreet.Thesighsandgroansofthehouseasitsettledintoamonolithicpositionfortheforeseeablefuture.
Theicemachinerattledagain.
Andyreachedforhisgun.
BuddyLeehurledthejellyjarathishead.Itexplodedagainsthisrightcheek.BuddyLeewasonthemoveassoonashethrewthejar.HeslammedhiswholebodyintoAndybeforeOscarevenrealizedhewasinthelivingroom.AndyandBuddyLeecrashedintothecoffeetable.Despitetheirtotalbodyweightbarelybreakingthe250-poundbarrier,thetablecollapsedundertheirbodies.Andyfeltthegunbitingintotheskinjustabovethecrackofhisass.Hewantedtograbit,buttheoldmanwastryinghisbesttoknockhisteethdownhisthroat.
BuddyLeepunchedAndyashardashecouldontherightsideofhisface.Thekidtriedtoblockhispunchesbuttonoavail.WhenAndyraisedhishandstoprotecthiseyesandforehead,BuddyLeecrackedhiminthechin.Whenheinvertedthepositionofhishands,hischeekborethebruntofBuddyLee’sassault.Theoldmanwasaswiryasaspidermonkey.
BuddyLeesuddenlyfeltlikehewasflying.Oscarhadgrabbedhimaroundthewaistlikehewasabagoflaundry.ThebigmansqueezedBuddyLeesohardhethoughthisnutsweregoingtopop.BuddyLeeopenedandclosedhismouthlikeatroutbouncingaroundonthefloorofajonboat.AsAndygotuptooneknee,BuddyLeekickedhimashardashecouldintheface.Theyoungermanfellbackintotheruinofthecoffeetable.BuddyLeetuckedhisheadforward,thensnappeditbackward.ThesoundofOscar’snosebreakingwasmusictohisears.Thebigmanreleasedhimfromhisdeadlyembrace.BuddyLeelandedonhisfeet,thenmule-kickedOscarintherightshin.
AndyswungtheColtbutt-firstintothesideofBuddyLee’shead.Starsexplodedallaroundhimashedroppedtoallfours.Hewasvaguelyawarehishandhadlandedintherazor-sharpremainsofthetable.Shardsofglassslicedthroughhisthickcallusesandburiedtheirwayintohispalms.Hisstomachconvulsedbutthecontentsofhisbellystayedput.Oscarfellagainstthedoorclutchinghisshin.
AndyputthebarrelofthePythonagainstBuddyLee’stemple.BuddyLeefeltatrickleofbloodrundownhisfaceandwinditswayoverhisfive-o’clockshadow.Andy’stoplipwasbeginningtoswell.Hischeekwasonfire.Acloudyfilmseemedtobecoveringhislefteye.TheoldmanhadpuntedhiminthefacelikehewaskickingthewinningfieldgoalintheSuperBowl.
“CutthecordoffthatTVandtiehimup.”Andysaid.Hespitapinkishglobuleontothefloor.Itwasequalpartssalivaandblood.Oscargrabbedhisknifeoutofhispocketandlimpedovertothetelevision.HetiedBuddyLee’shandsbehindhisback.Oscarcouldn’tbelievehowfasttheoldmanmoved.He’dbeenablurcomingoutofthekitchen.ItwaslikewatchingtheFlash.
“Ithinkyoubrokeoneofmyteeth,oldman.”Andysaid.Heprobedhisrightmolarwithhistongue.Thetoothwiggledagainsttheintrudingtongue.
“Thatain’tnothingcomparedtowhatI’mgonnadowhenIgetloose,”BuddyLeesaid.Andylaughed.HepressedthebarrelintoBuddyLee’shead.
“Youabouttwosecondsfromgettingaholeinyourfuckinghead.ButfirstI’mgonnaaskyouacoupleofquestionsandyougonnagivemesomeanswers,”Andysaid.
“Hey,Imeanthisfromthebottomofmyheart.Fuckyou,”BuddyLeesaid.Andykickedhiminthestomach.Thefewremainingwispsofairinhislungsrushedoutofhismouthwithawhoosh!BuddyLeepitchedforward.Hisfacelandedinapileofcrushedglass.Afewsliverstriedtofindtheirwayintohismouth.Andygrabbedhimbyhishair.HeputhismouthclosetoBuddyLee’sear.
“Youmissyourson?Yougonnaseehimsoonenough.Butbeforethathappensyougonnabegforabullet,”hesaid.
Andykickedhimagain.Thistimehislunchdidmakeabreakforit.Stomachacidburnedhisthroatasthevomitraceduphisesophagus.Itspilledoverhislipslikeawaterfall.
“Youbetterkillme,”BuddyLeegasped.Andylaughed.
“Ooh,Ibetterkillyou,”hesaid.Hespokeinahigh-pitchednasallytone.
“Maybeweshouldaskhimaboutthegirl,”Oscaroffered.Andystoppedtittering.
“Youknowanythingaboutthegirl,oldman?”Andyasked.HeshouldhavethoughtofthatbeforeOscarsuggestedit.Hewasgettingcaughtupinthemomentandforgettingthetaskathand.
“Youbetterkillmeoryougoingtoregretevercrawlingoutofyourmama’soldchewed-upcunt,”BuddyLeesaid.Andyblinkedrapidlyafewtimes.
“Mymama’scunt,huh?Sayhitoyoursonforme,”Andysaid.HecockedthehammerontheColtandpointeditatBuddyLee’sface.BuddyLeefeltlikehewastumblingintothebarrellikeitwasabottomlessmineshaft.Andypressedthebarrelagainsthischeek.BuddyLeeclosedhiseyes.HehopedhewouldseeDerek,buthewasn’tsuretheyweregoingtobespendingeternityinthesameplace.
Adeafeningcrashechoedfromthebackofthehouse.
“Whatthefuckwasthat?Yougotsomebodyherewithyou,oldman?Oscar,gocheckitout,”Andysaid.Oscarlickedonhisbottomlip.
“Ididn’tbringagun,”hesaid.
“Toughtitty.Nowgocheckitout,”Andysaid.Oscarwipedhisface,thenstudiedhishand.BloodwassmearedacrosshispalmlikeSanskrit.
“Yeah.Toughtittyalright,”hesaid.ThebigmanlumbereddownthehalllikeGodzilla.Hadthelightbeenoninthehallwhentheyfirstentered?Oscarcouldn’tremember.Itwasoffnow.Heflickedaswitchonthewallandnothinghappened.Hisbreathcameinquickirregulargulps.Hisnosewasbeyondfuckedup.Hecouldn’tevenforceairthroughit.Hedescendedintotheshadows.
“Didyoukillmyson?”BuddyLeeaskedAndy.Thestarshadfinallyretreatedandhisvisionhadcleared.Andyhadmovedthegunoutofhisface.Insteaditwashanginglooselybyhisleg.
“Shutup,”Andysaid.
“Whosentyou?”BuddyLeewheezed.Hehadn’texertedhimselflikethatinalongtime.Hisheartfeltsluggishinhischest.Thebackofhisthroatwassodryhethoughtifhecoughednowgravelwouldpopoutandclatteracrossthefloor
“Shutthefuckup,”Andysaid.
Oscarcametoadoorontheleftsideofthehallthatwaspartlyajar.Itwasnarrowerthantheotherthreedoorshehadalreadypassed.Thishadtobethebathroom.Wassomeonehidinginthetubwithashotgun?He’dseenthatinamovieonce.Thegoodguyhadshotoneofthebadguyswhenhewastakingapiss.Oscarusedtwofingersandpushedthedooropenalltheway.Itwasindeedthebathroom.Ablueambientlightintheceilinggavetheroomaghostlyglow.Thebluelightwasbuiltintotheexhaustfan.Thebathroomhadashowerstall,asink,andapale-bluetoilet.OrwasthattheeffectoftheblueLEDlight.Oscarfrowned.Thetopofthetoilettankwasmissing.Heheardthereservoirfillingwithwater.Likesomeonehadjustflushedit.Oscarbackedupintothehall.Heheardglasscrunchingbeneathhisfeet.Heraisedhisheadandsquinted.Therehadoncebeenalightfixtureintheceiling.Oneofthosefancypendantjobs.Nowtherewasjustathinmetaltubehangingdown.Likesomeonehadsmashedit—
OscarspunaroundjustintimeforIketoshatterthetopofthetoilettankoverhishead.
“Yougonnawishyouhadkilledme,boy,”BuddyLeerasped.
“YoukeeptalkingthatshitlikeyousomebodyIoughttobeafraidof.Youain’tnothingbutanolddrunkthatneedstoshuthisfuckingmouth.Yeah,Icansmellitcomingoffyou.Justlikemydad,”Andysaid.BuddyLeeheardthebravadoinhisvoiceandtheuncertaintythatwashidingjustbeneaththesurface.AminuteafterOscarhadventureddownthedarkenedhall,thewholehouseshook.Somethinghadhitthefloorlikeaslabofgranite.
Andytookanunconscioussteptowardthehallwithhisgunraised.BuddyLeewasonhiskneeswhenthekidsteppedtowardthehallway.Quickasawinkhedroppedtohisassandusedbothfeettokickthekidinthesideofhisrightknee.Hethoughtheheardasnappingsound.Andyscreamedandfellbackwardandtotheleft.Whenhehittheground,thebigpistoljumpedoutofhishandliketheGingerbreadManmakingabreakforit.Andyclutchedathiskneeforthebriefestofsecondsbeforerealizinghehadlosthisgun.HerolledontohisleftsideandstretchedouthisrighthandfortheColt.
IkecameoutoftheshadowslikethespiritofNemesisintheflesh.HestompedonAndy’srighthand,andBuddyLeewaspositiveheheardacrackthattime.AndyscreamedagainasIkepickedhimupoffthegroundbyhisshirt.Oncehehadhimonhisfeet,Ikehithimwithaferociousuppercut.Theyoungermanwasliftedatleastthreeinchesintotheair.Helandedinaheapunderthewall-mountedtelevision.IkeglaredathimforamomentbeforepickinguptheColtandtuckingitintohiswaistband.HewenttoBuddyLeeandretrievedhisjackknifefromhisbackpocket.Ikecuthimloose,thenhelpedhimtohisfeet.
“Gladyoudecidedtojointheparty,”BuddyLeesaid.
“WhenIheardthecommotion,IfiguredI’dhangbackaminute.Soundedlikemorethanoneguy,soItippedoverthedressertogettheirattention.Forcethemtosplitup.Besides,Ifiguredyoucouldhandleyourself.Nouselosingtheelementofsurprise,”Ikesaid.
“Well,I’mgladyouhadallthisconfidenceinme.Buttellmethis:Whatwasyougonnadoiftheyhadblownmygoddamnheadoff?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Theydidn’t,sowedon’thavetofindout,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeshookhishead.Helookeddownatthecrumpledformoftheskinnykid.
“Itoldyouyoushould’vefuckingkilledme,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Didyoureallysaythat?”Ikeasked.
BuddyLeenodded.“Imeantit,too.”
FOURTEEN
Andy’seyelidsfluttered.HehadpromisedtomakethembleedfortheBreed.Thetables,however,hadbeenturned.Hewasbleeding,anditdidn’tseemlikehewasgoingtobeallowedtostopanytimesoon.Hetriedtoraisehisheadbutitfeltlikeitwasfullofbricks.
BuddyLeeslappedthekidashardashecould.Hefollowedthatupwithaone-twocombotohisribs.Hetookastepbackandleanedforwardwithhishandsonhisknees.Aglobofsputumworkeditswayoutofhislungs.Heclosedhismouthandwalkedovertothetrashcannearthesecondroll-updoorinIke’swarehouse.Hespititintothesmallbrownwastebasket.Hedidn’thavetolookatittoknowitwouldhavemoreofthefaintredspotsmixedinit.
“Youalright?”Ikeasked.
“Yeah,justoutoffuckingshape.Whydon’tyouaskhim?”BuddyLeesaid.Hewalkedovertoapalletofmulchandsatdownontopofit.Ikewenttohiscubicleofficeandgothisrollerchair.Heplaceditrightinfrontofthekid.Thenhewenttothetoolrack.Hecamebackwithatamper.Itwasatooltheyusedtoevenoutthedirtwhentheyplantedalargetreeorransomesprinklerlines.Afour-foot-longwoodenhandlewithaflatblackironsquareatoneend,itwasafairlysimplepieceofequipment.Heplacedthetamperbetweenhimandthekidbeforetakingaseatintherollerchair.
Thekidwasinthewoodenofficechair.Ikehadzip-tiedhiswristtothearmsofthechair.OnceBuddyLeehadcleanedhimselfup,theyhadgrabbedanarearugfromIsiah’sofficeandrolledthekidupinsideit.Thedecisiontotakethekidwasn’tsomethingtheyhaddiscussed.Therewasnoneed.Itwasobviousthekidandthebigguyweresomehowinvolvedinwhathadhappenedtotheboys.
Thekidwasaboutahundredpoundslighterthanhispartner.Inthiscasehispartnerhaddrawntheshortstraw,geneticallyspeaking.So,theyleftthebigguysprawledacrossthehallwayfloorandcarriedtheskinnykidoutofthetownhouselikeapairoflate-nightmovers.Theypassedafewpeopleastheywalkedtothetruck.Mostofthemdidn’tlookupfromtheircellphoneslongenoughtonoticetwomencarryingavaguelyhumanshapedrugdownthesidewalk.IfanyofIsiahandDerek’sneighborshadheardtheruckus,theydidn’tfeelitwasnecessarytogetinvolved.Apparentlytheneighborhoodwasn’tthatgentrifiedyet.
Ikeputhisfingerunderthekid’schin.Heraisedhisheaduntiltheywereeyetoeye.
“What’syourname?Youain’tgotalicenseonyou.Thatwassmart,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeewasshockedathowgentlehisvoicesounded.Itwaslikehewasabouttotelltheboyabedtimestory.
“Fuckyou,”Andymumbled.Ikepulledhisfingeraway.Theboy’sheaddroppedintohischest.Blooddrippedfromhismouthandhisnose.Thewoundonhischeekwasweepinglikeabroken-heartedbride.Ikeplacehishandsontheendofthetamper’shandle,thenplacedhischinontopofhishands.
“Yousmart.Andyougotheart,I’llgiveyouthat.Butyougottoknowthisain’tgonnaendgoodforyou,right?Imean,youbreakintothehousethatbelongedtooursons.Youtrytokillmymanoverthere.Youknowwhatthattellsme?Eitheryoukilledoursonsoryouknowwhodid,”Ikesaid.Andydidn’tstrainagainstthezipties.Heusedeveryounceofhiswaningstrengthtoraisehishead.
“Whosentyoutothathouse?”Ikeasked.
AndyspitintoIke’sface.Hisheaddroppedbackdowntohischest.ThespittlelandedonIke’schin.Hestood.Hewipedhischin,thenwipedhishandonhispants.
“Helpmetakeoffhisboots,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeegrabbedthekid’sleftfootandIkegrabbedtheright.Theypulledoffhisbootsandtossedthemnexttothepelletlime.Ikegrabbedthetamper.HemovedbehindAndy.Heraisedthetamperuntiltheflatsquareheadwasparallelwithhisbeltbuckle.Hebroughtitdownwithallhisstrength.Themetalheadstrikingtheconcretefloorcreatedacacophonyinsidethecavernouswarehouse.IketookapositionnearAndy’sleftarm.Heslammedthetamperdownagain.BothAndyandBuddyLeeflinched.IkemovedaroundAndylikethehandsofaclock,eachtimeslammingthetamperdownandsendingaharshreportthroughthebuilding.
“Whosentyou,boy?”Ikesaidfinally.
Andyflexedhiswrists.Theziptieonhislefthandwasimmovable.Theoneonhisright,however,hadthetiniestbitofplay.TheBlackguyhadloopeditthroughaspindle,thenaroundthearmrest,thenaroundhiswrist.Thespindlewasloose.Ifheputhisbackinto,hecouldprobablybreakit.Thenhecouldusethechairasaweaponandmakearunforit.Noneofthatwouldhappenifthismotherfuckersmashedhistoes.
“Aguysentus.Hewaslookingforinfoonagirl,”Andysaid.Ikestoppedmoving.
“Whatguy?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Idon’tknow.ImeanIdon’tknowhisname.Hejusttoldushewaslookingforagirlthatwassupposedtobetalkingtoareporter.Hewantedinfoonwhereshemightbe,”Andysaid.
Hetookadeepbreath,sendinganachethroughhischestthatmadehimwince.Ikebentforward.HisfacewasbarelyaninchfromAndy’s.
“Youlyingtome?”Ikeasked.
“No.Iswear.”
“Whatwasthegirl’sname?”Ikeasked.
Andysighed.
“Tangerine.”
BuddyLeepulledoutthepieceofpaper.Hestaredatthedrawing,thenatthekidinthechair.
“I’llbedamned,”hesaid.Ikestraightened.HewentovertowhereBuddyLeewasleaningagainstthepalletofmulch.HeleftthetampernearAndy.
“Whatisit?”
BuddyLeeshowedhimthepieceofpaper.
“Itookthisoffthefridgeattheboys’place.Ithoughtitwasanorange,butIsupposeitcouldbeatangerine.ButIdon’tknowwhatthatbuildingis,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikethoughtofthenapkinshe’dfoundatthehouse.
“Youthinkitcouldbeabar?MaybeIsiahwasgoingtomeetthisTangerinegirlataplacetheyhungoutalot?”Ikeasked.BuddyLeepushedoffthepalletandturnedhisbacktothekid.Hedroppedhisvoicetothebottomofhischest.
“Whatifshewassupposedtomeetthemandthentheygotkilled?WhoeverkilledthemmightbetheonewhohiredJunioroverthere,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Hemightbetheonethekidatthebakerywastalkingabout,”Ikewhispered.
“That’swhatIwasthinking.”
“Weshouldleanonhimsomemore.IbetifIsmashoneofhistoeshe’llrememberwhohiredhim,”Ikesaid.
Andywatchedthemastheyturnedtheirbacksonhimandhuddledclose.
“Whatifhedon’tgiveitup?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Theyalwaysgiveitup,”Ikesaid.
Andyraisedhishead.Itwasnowornever.Hestrainedagainsttherightziptie.Herelaxed,thenstrainedagain,thistimetwistinghisupperbodyandpullinghisrightarmtowardtheleft.
Ikeheardasnapamillisecondbeforeheturnedandtookachairtothehead.Thekidwasswingingitlikeaclub.Hisleftwristwasstillattachedtothearmrest.Hisbarefeethadn’tmadeasoundonthecoolconcretefloor.Iketookthefullbruntofhisswingtotheleftsideofhishead.Hewentdowntoallfourslikehewassearchingforgrainsofgolddust.
Andyshovedthechairatthethinwhiteguy.Theguyinstinctivelygrabbedthechairlegs,andAndypushedhimbackwardtowardthepalletofmulch.BuddyLeefelthisfeetslipontheconcreteevenashegrippedthechairbyitslegs.Hischestrattledandhislungsbeggedforair.Washepassingout?Hewasn’tsure,butthenextthingheknew,hisasswasonthefloorandhishandsseemedtogonumb.Acoughingfitpickedtheabsoluteworsttimetopossesshim.ThekidpulledthechairoutofBuddyLee’shandsandraiseditabovehishead.
Theshadowthechaircastoverhimwastheshadowofdeath.BuddyLeefeltadesperatesurgeofadrenalinecoursethroughhisveins.Ahugewadofphlegmescapedhischestatlast.Sweetoxygenfilledhislungslikeambrosia.BuddyLeegrabbedhisjackknifefromhisbackpocket.Asthekidswungthechairdownward,BuddyLeerosetooneknee.Inonesmoothmotionheflickedthebladeoutwithhisthumbandshovedtheknifeinthekid’sbellyuptothehilt.Theholeinhisbellytooksomeofthepoweroutofhisswing.BuddyLeeraisedhisfreearmandblockedtheblowrathereasily.Hewatchedasthekidstumbledbackward.HepulledhimselfoffBuddyLee’sblade.AlanguidstreamofcrimsonbegantopourfromtheholeinAndy’sgut.
Ikeshookhisheadsidetosidelikeahounddogkillingarat.Hejumpedtohisfeetandgrabbedthetamper.AsthekidstumbledbackfromBuddyLee,Ikegrippedthehandlewithatwo-handedhighchokegrip.Heswungthetamperlikehewassendingapitchintotheupperdeck.Theflattemperedironconnectedwiththebackofthekid’sheadwithadullfleshythump.Thekidcrumpledtothefloorwiththechairlandingonhischest.
Ikestoodoverthekid.
Histhinlipswerequiveringlikethedeaththroesofsomestrangewoodlandcreature.Thekidhadhithimwiththechair.He’dtriedtokillBuddyLee.He’dbrokenintoIsiah’shouse.He’dspitinIke’sface.Hehadprobablybeenlyingaboutsomeguyhiringhim.HeprobablyknewwhohadkilledIsiah.Thekid’seyesrolledbackinhishead.Hell,hemighthaveevenbeentheonethatwreckedtheheadstone.
“Youmotherfucker!”Ikescreamed.Heraisedthetamperandslammeditdownontothekid’shead.Theskinaroundtheeyesocketsplitandbonesbeneathshifted.Thekidlookedlikehewashavingastroke.Ikeraisedthetamperagainandbroughtitdownwithallhisstrength.Hisbicepsanddeltoidsworkedtogetherwithlongpracticedsynchronicity.He’ddonethissamemotionthousandsoftimes.Hundredsofthousandsoftimes.Hiswideforearmsburnedasherammedthetamperintothekid’sfaceagainandagain.Hefeltsomethingwetsplashagainsthisface.Bitsofboneandteethflewupfromthefloor.
“Youkilledhim,didn’tyou,motherfucker!”Ikehowled.BuddyLeestoodandleanedbackagainstthepallet.Hislungswereonfire.Thetampermovedupanddownrelentlessly.ItsoundedlikeIkewaslevelingoutamud-filledhole.
“Ike,”BuddyLeesaid.Thelargeman’sarmscontinuedtomovethetamperlikeapiston.
“IKE!”BuddyLeeyelled.Ikefroze.Theheadofthetamperwasparallelwithhischest.Itwasstainedredlikeapainter’sbrush.Ikestaredatthegardentoollikehehadneverseenitbefore.Agutturalgroanescapedhislipsashetosseditaside.Itclangedasitskitteredacrossthefloor.Itleftbehindnarrowredstreaks.Ikedroppedtohishaunches,thentohisass.
BuddyLeeskirtedaroundthekid’sbodyandtherapidlyexpandingpoolofbloodthatwasquicklysurroundingit.HeeasedhimselfdowntothefloornexttoIke
“Guessweleanedonhimtoohard,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I…Ididn’tthinkhecouldgetloose,”Ikesaid.
“Well,whatdowedonow?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikewipedhisfacewithhisshirt.Whenhelookeddownatithesawdarksplotches.Heletoutalongdeepbreath.
“Igotawoodchipper,abucketloader,andatwo-tonpileofmanureoutback,”Ikesaid.
“Ithinkthat’llwork.Hewasrealpieceofshit,”BuddyLeesaid.He’dtriedtomakethestatementajoke,butneitheroneofthemlaughed.
FIFTEEN
DomewasfivesecondsawayfrombustinganutinthemouthofthebrunettethathadbeencrashingattheclubhousesinceSaturday,whenheheardthesoundofmetalsmashingagainstmetal.Reflexivelyhegrabbedhis.44offthenightstandandpoppedhisnutallinonemovement.Hepushedthegirl’sheadawayandpulleduphispantswithonehand.Thegirlslidoffthebedandhitthefloorwithallofherconsiderableass.
“Whatthefuck?”shesaid.
“Shutup,”Domesaid.Hetookthestepstwoatatimeasheflewdownthestairs.Gremlinwasalreadyupandpointingasawed-offshotgunatthedoor.TooMuchpushedasidetheplainbrowncurtainatthefrontwindowandpeeredoutside.TheycalledhimTooMuchbecauseallthegirlssaidhehadtoomuchdickforaguywhowasjustafrog’shairoverfivefeettall.
“It’sAndy’sgrocerygetter,”TooMuchsaid.Hislongbrownhairfellinhisface,andhepusheditasidewiththebackofhislefthand.Hehada.38inhisright.Domeopenedthedoorandsteppedoutontotheporch.Andy’smoney-greenLTDwasparkedontopofKeeper’sbike.KeeperwasinthegarageworkingonatatforCheddar.Heeitherdidn’thearthecommotionordidn’tcareenoughtostopworkingonCheddar’sbackpiece.TheparkinglightsontheLTDwerestillon,buttheheadlightswereblackpitsliketheeyesocketsofaskull.Thecar’sbigblock405enginewasidlingrough.Itwasliketherollingtankwastryingtoclearitsthroat.Domelethis.44falltohissideashesteppeddownontothefirststep.
Thedriver’sdoorflewopenandrockedbackandforthafewtimes.Domepulledhisgunupandaimeditatthedriver’sside.Assoonashedidithefeltfoolish.Ifsomebodywasplanningonsprayingthemuptheywouldn’thavejustparkedthere.CrashingintoKeeper’sbikewasashittythingtodo,butitwasn’ttheactionofanassassin.MostlikelyAndyandOscarhadgottenlitinsteadoftossingthehouse.Graysonwouldbepissed.
Almostasifthinkinghisnamehadsummonedhim,Oscaremergedfromthecar.
“Holyshit,”Domemuttered.
Thebigman’sfacewascoveredinsomuchbloodDomewassurprisedhehadn’tbledtodeath.Itwaslikehewaswearingamaskmadefromhisownplasma.Oscartookthreehaltingstepstowardthehouse.
“Hey,Dome,”theprospectmumbled.Then,likeamarionettewhosestringshadbeensnipped,hefellface-firstontothegravel-coveredground.Domerushedtohisside.
“Youguyscomeonandgivemeahand!”Domeyelled.GremlinandTooMuchsailedofftheporch.IttookallthreeofthemtogetOscaronhisfeet.Theycarried/draggedhimintotheclubhouse.Theydroppedhimontheleathercouchinfrontofthetelevision.Gremlingotsomewaterandwhiskeyfromthekitchen.HehandedbothtoDome.DometossedthewholebottleofwaterontoOscar’shead.Hisfaceseemedtomeltlikeacandleasthebloodwaswashedawaybymultiplerivulets.HeblinkedfourorfivetimesbeforehiseyesfocusedonDome.DomeputthebottleofwhiskeytoOscar’slipsandtiltedhisheadback.Oscarcoughed,wheezed,thencoughedsomemore.HemotionedforthebottleagainandDomepouredanothershotdownhisthroat.Oscarnoddedhisheadandhelduphishanddeclininganotherdrink.
“Whatthefuckhappenedtoyou,man?”TooMuchasked.Oscarputhishugepawofahandonhisforehead.
“Youain’tgonnafuckingbelieveit,”hesaid.
OnceOscarhadrecountedtheentireevening,DomecalledGrayson.Thepresidentansweredonthesecondring.
“Thisbetterbeimportant,”Graysonsaid.
“Itis.Oscar’sback.”
“And?”Graysonsaid.
“AndAndy’snotwithhim.Oscar’sheadisbustedwidethefuckopenandhe’scoveredinblood.Hisownblood,”Domesaid.
AhollowsilencebloomedonthephonelineuntilGraysonspokeagain.
“Didheseewhohithim?”Graysonsaid.Hisvoicewasdeathlyquiet.
“Hedidn’t,buthesaysheandAndygotintoitwithanolddudethatwasinthehousewhentheygotthere.Hethinkstheolddudewasthefatherofoneofthepunks.Healsosaidhesawatruckparkednearthehouse.TrucksaidRandolphLawnMaintenanceontheside,”Domesaid.
“Randolph,huh?”Graysonasked.
“Yeah,”Domesaid.Anotherfewsecondsofsilence.
“I’llbeoverthereintwentyminutes.Callachurchmeeting.WegonnatakecareofbusinessanddealwithFatherKnowsBest,”Graysonsaid.
Thelinewentdead.
SIXTEEN
BuddyLeeparkedhistruckrightinfrontofthe7-Eleven.Hecutofftheignitionandlistenedtotheenginedieselingforafewminutes.Oncethemotorstoppedcoughingandsputtering,hegotoutandwentintothestore.Thesunhadjustrisen.Araggedpatchworkofcloudshunglowintheeasternskylikecottoncandy.
Aroboticchimesoundedashewalkedthroughthedoor.BuddyLeeslippeddownthecenteraisleandmadeabeelineforthecoolerintheback.Hepluckedtwotallboysfromtherackandheadedforthecounter.Hehadconsideredjustgoingcoldturkeyuntiltheyweredonewithwhateverthehelltheywerecallingthismissiontheywereon,butthatwasjustridiculous.Hehadn’tdonethatsincethelasttimehewasinthejoint.Hecouldn’tgodownthatroadagain.Thatrouteledtoshakesandvomitingandbugsinhishairthatnooneelsecouldsee.Hecouldcutback,butstoppingaltogetherwasaslikelyasseeingamonkeydrivingagoddamnCadillac.
BuddyLeeputthetwocansofbeeronthecounterandwaitedfortheclerktoturnaround.ThesmallbrownmanwasstockingthecigaretteswhilewhistlingatunethatteasedBuddyLeewithitsfamiliarity.WhenthemanfinallyemptiedthecartonhewasworkingonheturnedandscannedBuddyLee’sbeer.
“BuddyLee.Howareyou,myfriend?Youlookabitunrested.”
“Well,goodfuckingmorningtoyou,too,Hamad,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Imeannoharm,BuddyLee.Iamworriedaboutyou,myfriend.Youlooklikeyouhavenotsleptawink,”Hamadsaid.
“Youdon’tknowthehalfofit,son,”BuddyLeesaid.
AfterhehadstabbedthekidandIkehadcavedhisheadinlikeanoverripemelon,theyhadstrippedhimnakedandfiredupIke’swoodchipper.Ikehadpositionedthedischargechutedirectlyontothemanurepileinthebacklotofhiswarehouse.Theyusedhandsawsandmachetestobreakthekiddownintomanageablepieces.Onceitwasalldonetheypressure-washedthefloorandthewoodchipper.BuddyLeehadploppeddownonthelimepalletandwatchedIkemixupthemanurepilewithhiseconomy-sizedfront-endloader.Bythetimetheyweredone,itwastwohoursbeforesunrise.Hesupposedheshouldbeshockedhowfasthisdisposalskillsresurfaced,butitwasnotreallythatmuchofasurprise.Choppingupyourfirstbodyisdisgusting.Yoursecondistiresome.Whenyou’redoingyourfifteenth,it’sallmusclememory.
“Iknowitishard,”Hamadsaid.
“Huh?”
“Afterthepassingofyourson.Iknowthingsarehard,”Hamadsaid.
“Yeah,Ihaven’tsleptmuchsinceDerek…died,”BuddyLeesaid.He’dnevergetusedtothewaythewords“Derek”and“died”feltinhismouth.
“Everythingseemshardwhenoneyoulovedies,”Hamadsaidasheplacedthebeerinabrownpaperbag.
“Mm-hmm,”BuddyLeesaid.HehandedHamadaten-spot.
“Youwillgetthroughthis,BuddyLee,”Hamadsaid.
“Idon’tknowifIwanttogetthroughit,Hamad.IfeellikeeveryminuteI’mnotgrievingI’mlettingmyboydown,”BuddyLeesaid.
HamadhandedBuddyLeehischange.
“Hewouldn’twantyoutogrieveforever,myfriend,”Hamadsaid.AmanandawomancameintothestorelaughinginthatwaythattoldBuddyLeetheywereacouple,andanewoneatthat.BuddyLeegrabbedhisbag.
“Yousureaboutthat?”BuddyLeesaid.
Thecloudshaddispersedbythetimehegottothecemetery.Theheadstonesshimmeredintheunrelentingsunlight.Thetemperaturerosesteadily,likeabottlerocket.Inanotherhouritwouldbehotterthanfresh-cookedfriedchicken.BuddyLeewalkedamongthetombstoneswithasteadygait.HeonlystoppedtocoughtwicebeforehenearedDerek’sandIsiah’sgraves.Hecameuparoundtheredmaplethatoverlookedhisson’sfinalrestingplaceandstoppedshort.
“Christine,”hesaid.Hisheartleaptupoutofhischestandslappedthebackofhisthroat.Shewasstandingatthefootofthegraves.Herhoney-blondhairbrushedthecollarofherblueblazer.Thoselonglegshelovedwerewrappedinasensibleblueskirtthatmatchedherblazer.Deep-seteyesthecolorofsapphiresstaredoutathimfromaheart-shapedface.Howmanytimeshadhegazedintothoseeyes?Seenthemchangecolorlikeamoodring.Darkenwithpassionorsparklewithdesireorglowbluehotwithrage.She’dhadsomeworkdone.Mostlyaroundtheeyesandhermouth.Hedidn’tblameher.Whynot?Fromwhathe’dheard,herhusbandcouldaffordit.ThesurgeonhadonlyshoredupwhattheAlmightyhadgivenher.ChristinePerkinsJenkinsCulpepperwasasbeautifulawomanashehadeverhadinhisarms.Afewdoctoredcrow’sfeetcouldn’tchangethat.NomatterhowmuchChristinewouldhavelikedtopretendtheireight-yearmarriagehadneverhappened.
“Whereistheheadstone?Theotherfamilysaidtheyhadaheadstone,”Christinesaid.
“Itgotdamaged.Whatareyoudoinghere?Howdidyouevenknowwheretheywereburied?”BuddyLeeasked.Christinepushedanerrantblondlockoutofhereyes.
“Itwasinthepaper.”
“Igotcha,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Whathappenedtothestone?”
BuddyLeecrackedopenoneofthecansofbeerandtookalongswig.
“Somebodyhititwithasledgehammerandwroteabunchoffuckingnastyshitaboutgaypeoplealloverit,”hesaid.AsharpintakeofbreathfromChristinesentawhistleechoingthroughthegraveyard.
“That’s…unfortunate.EventhoughIdidn’tagreewithDerek’slifestyle,therewasnoneedforsomeonetoperpetratesuchavileactofvandalismonhistombstone,”Christinesaid.BuddyLeetookasteptowardherandshetookastepback.SheglanceddownandrealizedshewasstandingoneitherDerek’sorIsiah’sgraveandsteppedtowardtheright.
“Isthatwhyyoudidn’tcometothefuneral?Becauseyoudidn’tagreewithhislifestyle?OrwasitbecauseGeraldCulpepperdidn’tletyou?”BuddyLeeasked.Christinerubbedhernoseandranahandthroughherhair.
“Youwouldn’tunderstand.AmaninGerald’spositioncan’tbeseencoddlingastepsonwhoengagesinperverseactivities.”
“Oh,Iunderstand.IunderstandyoukickedoursonoutofyourhouserightbeforethejudgeranforRichmondCityCouncilthefirsttime.Iunderstandoursonwaslivingonthestreet.Bouncingfromhousetohousebecauseyoucaredmoreaboutbeingthewifeofsomestuck-up,rich,first-family-of-Virginiaassholethanbeingamothertoyourchild,”BuddyLeesaid.Hefeltthecolorriseinhisface.Tremorsmovedthroughhisbodylikeahightidecomingintoshore.
“Don’tyoustandthereandgetsanctimoniouswithme,WilliamLeeJenkins.YouthinkyouwereFatheroftheYear?Oursondedicatedhimselftoanimmorallifestyle.Anabhorrent,sacrilegiouslifethatneithermyhusbandnorIcouldabideinourhome.Yes,ImadehimleavebutIneverpunchedhimintheface.Ineverslappedhimtotheground.Ifyouweresoconcernedabouthim,whydidn’tyoutakehimin?Oh,that’sright,youwerebehindbars,drinkingtoiletwine,”Christinespatathim.
Buddytookanothersipofhisbeer.
“ThosefancyetiquetteclassesCulpepperhadyoutakewasgood.Butyouraccent’sslipping.IcanhearRedHillCountyallupinyourvoicewhenyougetmad.Youain’tthatfarfromthebackseatofmyCamaroafterall,”hesaid.
“Iwillnotletyoutakemypeace.Iwillnotletyoutakemypeace.Iwillnotletyoutakemypeace,”Christinemuttered.BuddyLeethoughtshewastalkingtoherself,nothim.Sheglaredstraightaheadassheclenchedherfist,digginghermanicuredrednailsintothepalmsofherhands.BuddyLeestudiedhereyesagain.She’dhadsomeworkdone,buttherewassomethingelsethere.Amaniclookherecognizedfrommanyabackwoodstrailerparty.
“Christine,areyouhigh?”BuddyLeeasked.Hisquestionsnappedheroutofheraffirmation.
“What?”
“Areyouhigh?Becauseyourpupilsaboutaswideasthebottomofthiscan,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Ihaveaprescription,”Christinesaid.
“I’msureyoudo.Ibetyougotashittonofthem.”
“I’mnotgoingtostandhereandbelecturedbysomewhitetrashredneckex-con,”Christinesaid.Shestompedherred-bottomedheelspasthim.Hecaughtawhiffofherasshepassed.Notherexpensiveperfume,buther.Thefresh-scrubbedsweetscentofher.InaninstanthewasbackintheaforementionedCamaro.Hismouthagainstherneck.Hisnostrilsfullofthesamerawfreshscent.Thisexchangewasamicrocosmofonehalfoftheirpastrelationship.They’dhiteachotherwithoneverbalhaymakerafteranother.Searchingforthesoftandsecretplacestomakethedeepestcutinawaythatonlysomeonewhohassharedyourbedmorethanoncecandoeffectively.Therewouldbenoreplayoftheremaininghalfoftheirpastrelationship.BuddyLeesippedhisbeer.Thatpartwasalwaysthefunpart.
“Wewasbothshitparents.ButatleastIshoweduptowatchhimgointheground.Youcomingherenowismorethanadaylateandwaymorethanadollarshort,”BuddyLeeyelled.Heheardherstopinhertracks.
“Fuckyou,BuddyLee,”shesaidwithoutturningaround.
“Somuchforpeace,”hemumbled.
HewaiteduntilheknewChristinewasoutofearshot.Hewalkeduptothegravesandkneltononeknee.HeopenedtheothercanofbeerandpouredtheentirecontentsoverDerek’sgrave.
“Nooffense,Isiah,butIdidn’tknowwhatkindofbeeryoulike.DerekwasaPabstmanatonetime.Igavehimhisfirstonewhenhewasfifteen.ThiswasbeforeIwentdownformylastvisittothe‘graybarhotel.’Ithoughtitwouldmakeamanoutofhim.Stupid.Iknowthatnow,”BuddyLeesaid.Hefinishedhisownbeerbeforecrushingthecan.
“IjustwantedtotellyouthatmeandIke,wedidsomething.Wegotoneofthem.Iknowit’snotwhatyouwouldwantmetodo.IthinkI’mfinallystartingtounderstandyoucouldneverbethekindofmanIamandIcouldn’tbethekindofmanyouwas,”hesaid.HecrushedDerek’scanandputbothcansbackinthebrownpaperbag.
“Iknowifyouwashereyou’dtellmetoletitgo.Thatitwasn’tworthit.ThenI’dhavetostealoneofyourlines,”BuddyLeesaid.Herosetohisfeetandbrushedthedirtfromhisjeans.Hiseyesburnedbuthewastootiredtocry.
“ThisiswhoIam.Ican’tchange.Idon’twantto,really.ButforonceI’mgonnaputthisdevilinsidemetogooduse.”
SEVENTEEN
Ikeopenedhiseyes.Hislowerbackfeltlikeitwasfilledwithspunglass.Herosefromhisofficechairandlistenedtohiskneespoplikerifleshots.Hiswatchsaiditwasalittleaftereight.Hecheckedhisphone.Myahadcalledafewtimes.She’dalsosenthimtwotersetexts.Bothaskedwherehewasandwhenhewascominghome.Thefirstonewaslongerthanthesecond.Theguyswouldberollingininafewminutes.Jazzywouldbelateasusual.TheyhadsevenjobstodayfromQueenCountyallthewaytoWilliamsburg.
Ikewalkedaroundhisdesktothespotwherehe’dkilledthekid.Apressurewasherandsomebleachhadcleanedupthebloodnicely.Hehadn’tkilledanyoneinsixteenyears.Hehadn’thadafightinelevenyears.Elevenyearsofwalkingthestraightandnarrowgonetoshitinamatterofminutes.Thetwoofthemhadslaughteredthatkidlikeapigandfedhimtothewoodchipperlikeamamabirdfeedingachick.
Thetwoofthem.Elevenyears.Oneplusonewastwo.Whenhewasinsidehehadreadabookthatsaidsomenumbershadamysticalsignificanceinsomereligions.Notforthefirsttimeheconsideredalltheweirdknowledgeyoucouldacquirewhentherewasnothingtodobutlift,read,andfight.
Ikewentouttothebacklotofthewarehouse.Hegrabbedthewaterhoseattachedtoahosereelnearthebackdoorandpulleditovertoasmolderingbarrelnearthecornerofthebuilding.Hesoakedtheashesinthebarreluntiltheystoppedsmoking.Thekid’sjeansandshirthadgoneuplikekindling.Ithadtakenhisbootsalotlongertoburndowntobarelyrecognizablelumps.Hesprayedsomewaterinhishandandsplasheditonhisface.He’dgivenBuddyLeeabigtoughspeechaboutspillingblood,buthehadn’texpectedittohappenthissuddenly.
Thatwasthethingaboutviolence.Whenyouwentlookingforityoudefinitelyweregoingtofindit.Itjustwouldn’tbeatatimeofyourownchoosing.Itjumpedupandsplatteredyournicenewbootsbeforeyouwerereallyready.Thethingis,ifyouchaseitlongenough,yourealizeyou’reneverreallyreadyforit.Shithappensandyoueitherrollwithitoryoudon’t.Eventuallyyougotusedtoit.Whenhewasakidhelikedtothinkthatmadeyouhard.Hehitthebarrelwiththehoseagain.Afterafewyearsinsidehefiguredoutthatwasbullshit.Humanbeingswerewiredtogetusedtojustaboutanything.Thatdidn’tmakeyouhard.Itmadeyouindoctrinated.
Ikepulledthehoseovertothewoodchipper.They’daimeditatthemanurepileastheydroppedpiecesofthekidintotheinletchute.ThenIkehadgottenonthebulldozerandturnedthemanureoveragainandagain.Bythetimethesunwascomingupthekidwasjustfertilizer.
Hedroppedthehoseandwentbackinsidetheshopandgrabbedthebleach.Hewentbacktothechipperandpouredbleachintheinletchute,thengrabbedthehoseandflushedwaterthroughthechipperandoutthedischargechute.Achipperwasapracticalwaytochopupabody,butitwasaterriblewaytogetridofevidence.DespiterinsingitoutwithClorox,itwasstillcoveredinDNAthatwasn’tvisibletothenakedeye.Bitsofboneandhairwereprobablyimbeddedinthegearsandteethinsidethemachine.Theonlythinghecoulddonowwastakeittothedumpandtossitontotheever-growingpileofrusted-outrefrigerators,washingmachines,andlawnmowersattherearofthelandfill.Athousand-dollarpieceofequipmentreducedtoscrap.Hecouldn’teventakeittothesalvageyardandgetsomeofhismoneyback.
Ikefinishedwithhiscleanupjobandrolledthechipperaroundtothesideofthebuilding.He’dgetoneofhisguystohelphimloaditontohistrucklater.He’dgivethemsomestoryaboutitconkingoutonhimandthencasuallynevermentionitagain.HewasalittledisconcertedhoweasilyhewasabletoslipbackintoRiot’shabitoflyingwithoutcompunction.Butonlyalittle.
HewentbackinsidetheshopandwasmakinghiswaytothefrontdoortounlockitwhenJazzycameinthirtyminutesearly.Ikestoppedandputhishandsonhiships.He’dgivenherakeyoverayearagobutshe’dneverarrivedearlyenoughtouseit.
“Thismustbetheend-times,becauseyou’reactuallyhereearly,”hesaid.Jazzyrolledhereyes.
“Marcus’scarbrokedownsoIhadtotakehimtoworkatthewindowplant.It’srightuptheroadfromhere.Iain’tseenopointingoinghomeafterIdroppedhimoff,sohereIam.Ithoughtyou’dbehappyIwashereallearlyandshit,”Jazzysaid.
“Iam,I’mjustrecoveringfromtheshock,”Ikesaid.Jazzyrolledhereyesagainandheadedforherdesk.Ikewasabouttofollowherwhenheheardathunderousroarcomefromtheroad.Hestopped,turned,andlookedoutthedoor.Alineofmotorcycles,aboutfiveorsixdeep,wereflyingpasttheshop.Theysoundedlikeaprideoflionsonthehunt.
EIGHTEEN
BuddyLeeparkedhistruckandslidoutontohisunsteadylegs.Heclosedthedoorandstumbledtowardhistrailer.He’dleftthecemeteryandheadedtothenearestbar.AquietlittleneighborhoodspotcalledMcCallan’s.Hestartedwithbeer,thenmovedtowhiskeyandfinishedwithbourbon.
Sleep.HeneededtosleepthisoffbeforehecalledIketotalkabouttheirnextmove.Hesteppedonthefirstcinderblockbutimmediatelylosthisfooting.Hetumbledtotheright,hithistrailer,thenfelltotheground,landingonhisass.BuddyLeerolledoverontohisknees.Ashetriedtopushhimselfup,alltheairinhislungsevaporated.Initsplaceawadofphlegmthesizeofalemonfilledhischest.BuddyLee’seyesbulgedfromtheirsocketsashetriedtogetenoughbreathinhislungstocough.
Stronghandspoundedagainsthisback.Thesharpstrikesforcedtheballofphlegmoutofhisthroat.Itspilledacrossthegroundlikeasquashedtoad.BuddyLeefelthimselfbeingpulledtohisfeet.
“Youalright?”
BuddyLeenoddedtohissavior.Aslimnarrow-hippedwomanwithsharprough-hewnfeaturesheldhisleftarminanironlikegrip.Herskinshinedwithadeepburnishedtanbornofhoursunderthehighhotsun.Twolongblackpigtailsinterspersedwithsnow-whitestrandstraileddownoverherchestandfellalmosttoherwaist.
“Youaterribleliar,BuddyLee,”shesaid.
“Justlostmyfootingforaminute,Margo.Noneedtogetyapantiesinabunch,”BuddyLeesaid.Margolethimgoandwipedherhandsonherjeans.Herwhitetanktophaddarksplotchescoveringitlikeitwasapieceofmodernart.
“IstoppedwearingpantieswhenHerbdied.Thatwasmysecondhusband.Hewasagoodmanbut,Lord,hewassouptighthesqueakedwhenhewalked,”Margosaid.
“Husbandnumberthreedidn’tmindyougoingcommando?”BuddyLeeaskedwithawink.
“Colton?Lordno.Thatmanwould’vebangedthecrackofdawnifitwould’vestoodstilllongenough.Iwasn’tshockedhediedontopofawoman,Ijustalwaysthoughtitwouldbeme.”Margosaid.BuddyLeechuckled.Thechucklebecamealaugh.Thelaughbecameacough.Margopattedhimontheback.Itwasastrangelyintimategesture,andBuddyLeefounditcomfortedhimmorethanhecaredtoadmit.Finally,hiscoughsubsided.
“Youknow,we’vebeenneighborsforfiveyearsnow.WhenIfirstcamearoundhereyouhadaSamElliottthinggoingon.NowyoulooklikeSamElliott’sgranddad.”
“Geethanks,Margo.MaybeIshouldgogetadogsoyoucankickit,”BuddyLeesaid.Margoshookherheadafewtimes.
“That’snotaninsult.It’sanobservation.Youdrinktoomuchandyoudon’teatenough.Youlooklikeyougetanhourofsleepeverycoupleofweeks.Youneedtogetthatcoughcheckedout.Thosearejustfacts.Myfirst,hehadacoughhewouldn’tcheckout,thenhecheckedout,”Margosaid.BuddyLeewipedhismouthwiththebackofhishand.Theworldwasn’tspinningbutitwasdoingalittlesoftshoe.Thebourbonandthebeerwerehavingabarfightinhisguts,andhisstomachwasthreateningtokickbothofthemout.Thelastthingheneededtodowasthrowupinfrontofhiswell-meaningbutnosyneighbor.Itwouldprobablybemoreredthanbrown,andthatwouldjustinvitealotofquestionshewasn’tinanykindofmoodtoanswer.
“Itoldya,I’mfine,Margo.Justbeenalongweek.Hell,it’sbeenalongyear,”BuddyLeesaid.Margo’sfacesoftenedjustabit.
“Iknow.I’msorryaboutyourboy.I’veburiedfourhusbands,butIdon’tknowwhatI’ddoifIhadtoseeoneofmygirlsgointheground.Itshouldbeagainstthelawforparentstoseethatshit,”shesaid.BuddyLeefelthiseyesmoistenwithoutanywarning.
“Yeah.Yeahitshould.Well,I’mgonnagooninsidenowandgoinacoma,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Alright.Butyouneedanything,justholler.I’moutbackinthegarden.”
“Didn’tArtietellyoutodigthatgardenup?”BuddyLeeaskedwithawink.Margo’slipscurledupatthecorners.
“Yeah,andItoldhimifIhadtodigupmytomatogardenImightbesodepressedImightletitslipI’dseenhimsneakintothatCarsongirl’strailerwhilehiswifewasatworkatthenursinghome.”
BuddyLeewhistled.
“Youdriveahardbargain,don’tyou?”
“Hey,heshouldn’tbedippinghiswickinthatgirl’swax.HeoughttobegladIcaughthiminsteadofhiswifeorthatCarsongirl’sboyfriend.Ijustcan’tforthelifeofmefigurehowshecanstandthesmellofhim.”
BuddyLeelaughed.
“Meneither.Well,likeIsaid,I’mgonnagetsomesleep.”BuddyLeesteppedupontothecinderblockandgrabbedhisdoorknob.
“I’mmakingspaghettitonight.Gonnausemybigbeeftomatoesforthesauce.Youmorethanwelcometocomeoverandgetaplate,”Margosaid.
“Younotgonnapoisonmelikeyoudidyourhusbands,areyou?”BuddyLeeasked.Margorolledhereyes.
“You’reanass,youknowthat?”
“Thatseemstohavebeenthegeneralconsensusmostofmylife,”BuddyLeesaid.Margogrunted.
“Thesauceprobablybereadyaroundseven.Iknowyoumissyourboybutyougottaeat.Hewouldn’twantyougotoseed,”Margosaid.Shestrolledbackacrossthedrivewayanddisappearedaroundhertrailer.BuddyLeestaredafterherforafewmoments.Margowasn’tabad-lookingwoman.Hepeggedheratfiftyorfifty-five.Afewyearsolderthanhimbutshewasinwaybettershape.SheworkeddownattheLowe’sasalawn-and-gardenspecialist.Formostofthefiveyearstheyhadbeenneighborsshe’dhadwhatshetermeda“friendwithsomebenefits,”whosometimesspentthenight.BuddyLeehadseenhimthroughhiskitchenwindowafewtimes.Abigol’hosswithacrewcutwhodroveanoldJeepWagoneerwithafadedMITTROMNEYFORPRESIDENTbumpersticker.CrewCuthadn’tbeenaroundmuchthesepastfewmonths.HewonderedifthathadanythingtodowithMargoinvitinghimoverfordinner?
“Getyourheadoutofyourass.Shewasjustbeingnice.That’sall.That’sallyougonnagetnowadays,”BuddyLeemurmured.Hewentinsidehistrailerandkickedoffhisbootsbeforepeelingoffhisshirt.TheACsoundedlikesomeonehadtosseditinawashingmachine.Itclangedandwheezedasthmatically,butatleastitseemedtobeactuallyworkingtoday.Thecoolairmadegoosefleshpopupallacrosshisbackandchest.
BuddyLee’seyeshadjustclosedashesprawledacrosshiscouch,whensomeonebeganpoundingonhisdoor.Hegroanedashesatupandhisfeethitthefloor.
“Damnit,Margo,IsaidIwasfine,”hemumbledasheopenedthedoor.
Det.LaPlatawasstandingonhisbottomcinderblock.Hewasaloneexceptforhisshieldandhisgun.
“Mr.Jenkins,weneedtotalk,”hesaid.Hedidn’taskifhecouldcomein,butinsteadjuststeppedupintothetrailer.BuddyLeetookastepback.LaPlatawasgivinghimthelongstare.BuddyLeeknewwhatthatmeant.
HehadfuckedupandLaPlatawasn’tfuckingaround.
NINETEEN
IkewentovertheworkordersforthedaywhileJazzyclickedandclackedawayathercomputer,payinginvoicesandemailingclientstheirmonthlybills.Hiscrewwouldstarttricklinginwithinthehour.Soonthesoundsoftrucksloadingupwithmulchandplantingsoilandmanureandfertilizerwouldberumblingthroughthewarehouse.
Iketriednottothinkaboutthemanure.Ormorespecifically,whatwasinthemanure.
HeheardthebellonthefrontdoorringandthenheheardJazzy’ssunnygreeting.Afewsecondslatershepoppedherheadaroundthecornerofhiscubicle.
“Ike,theseguysaskingforyou,”shesaid.Hereyeswerewideandherbreathwascominginraggedlittlebursts.Ikestoodupfromhisdesk.
“What’swrong?”
Jazzyspokeinalowvoice.
“’Boutfivebikersouthereaskingaboutyou,”shesaid.Ikesatupstraight.Itsoundedlikeabadjoke.Fivebikerswalkintoalandscapingoffice.…Ikerubbedhisforehead.LastnightheandBuddyLeehadrunintoacoupleofboysthathadthatpeckerwoodlookalloverthem.He’dbustedoneofthemboysinthehead,andheandBuddyLeehadkilledtheother.Nowsomebikerscomestrollingintohisshop.ThekidhadsaidhehadbeenhiredtolookforTangerine.Whatifthebikershadbeentheonesthathiredhim?IkehadtoldBuddyLeetheyweren’tdetectives,butyoudidn’thavetobeEasyRawlinstoputthistogether.
Weshould’vetooktheotherboy,too,Ikethought.
“TellthemI’llbeoutinaminute,”hesaid.
“Icanjusttell’emyouain’there,”Jazzysaid.
“No,that’sokay.Let’sseewhattheywant,”Ikesaid.Hewalkedaroundhiscubicleandheadedforthelobby.Ashewasonhiswayhegrabbedamacheteoffthewall.
Fivemeninleathervestsandvariousdegreesofhirsutenesswerestandinginthelobby.Acoupleofthemwerereadingtheadvertisementsonthewalls.Twomorewerestandingnearthedoor.Abigblondmanwithawickedscaronhischeekthatcutthroughhisbeardwasleaningagainstthesodamachinewithhisheavilytattooedarmscrossed.
Ikeplacedthemacheteonthecounter.
“CanIhelpyou?”Ikeasked.
Theblondbikerpushedhimselfoffthesodamachine.Heglancedatthemachete,thensmiledatIke.Histeethwerecrookedandhewasmissingmatchingincisors.
“Well,thatdepends.Welookingforafriendofours,andIthinkyoumightknowwhereheis,”thetallblondsaid.ThepalescaronhisfacewounditswaydowntohischinlikeanEKGpattern.ThevestheworehadapatchovertheheartthatsaidPRESIDENT.Theotherfourmencameupandstoodnexttohim.TheonetohislefthadapatchthatsaidSERGEANTATARMS.Hereachedforthesmallofhisbackandpulledoutametalpipe.Therewaselectricaltapearoundoneend.Theotherthreemenpulledouttheirownhomemadeweapons.Onehadachainwithapadlockontheend.Theothertwohadsawed-offpoolcueswithbright-greenandredhandlesrespectively.Theonewiththepresidentpatchleanedforwardandputhishandsonthecounter.Hewaswithinanarm’slengthofthemachete.
“Idon’tthinkyouhaveanyfriendshere,”Ikesaid.Hestaredintotheman’slight-blueeyes.BehindhimJazzycontinuedtotapawayathercomputer.
Ikeusuallylikedthewaytheshopsmelledfirstthinginthemorning.Itwasstrangebutitgavehimasenseoftranquility.Thescentofgasoline,oil,topsoil,eventhegoddamnmanure.Itallsmelledofanhonestday’swork.Ofhoursspentbeautifyingsomeone’syardwhowouldn’tspitonyouifyouwereonfirebuthadtopayyoubecausetheywouldn’torcouldn’tbebotheredtoputdowntheirownmulchorfertilizetheirownflowergardens.TheirdisdainwasinconsequentialtoIke.Thosecountlessshovelfulsofdirthadpaidforhishouse.Thoseuntoldrollsofsodhadputfoodonhistable.ThoseendlesswheelbarrowsfullofmulchhadputIsiahthroughcollege.Aslongasthecheckscleared,theycouldthinkwhatevertheywanted.
Buttherewasanotherscentthatfloatedunderthepungentodorofrefinedpetroleumandpulverizedlime.Abittermetallicfragrancethatremindedyouofpenniesandoldbatteries.Didthatsmellregisterwiththebikers?He’dcleanedupforhours,butitseemedlikethatcopperyaromahadsoakedintothewalls.
“What?Youtellingmeweain’tfriends?”theblondmansaid.Ikecurledhisfingersaroundthehandleofthemachete.Helethiseyeslingerontheblondmanforalongtime.
“Notevenalittlebit,”hesaidfinally.Themannoddedasifthatwastheanswerheexpected.Hestraightenedandturnedtohissergeantatarms.
“Fuckthisshitup.”
AsDomeraisedhispipetosmashthecomplimentarycandydishonthecounter,Ike’slefthandshotoutlikeatiger’spaw.HegrabbedGraysonbyhisrightarm.Hesnatchedhimforwardandatthesametimepulleddownwarduntilhisheadbouncedagainstthecountertop.DomefrozewithhispiperaisedabovehisheadasIkeplacedtheedgeofthemacheteagainstthesideofGrayson’sneck.ThebigmanstartedtostruggleuntilIkepressedtheedgeofthemacheteintothesoftfleshbelowhisear.
“BackthefuckuporI’llcutoffhisgoddamnhead,”Ikesaid.Domedidn’tmove.Thepipewasvibratinglikeatuningfork.Theotherthreebikersweresimilarlyparalyzed.
“Whatthefuckareyouwaitingfor?Getthismotherfucker!”Graysonsaid.Ikesuckedhisteeth.Hefeltliketheroomwasrapidlyshrinkingbythefoot,thenbyinches.Hisheartwasflutteringinhischest.Onceuponatime,hehadfoundhimselfinasituationmuchlikethisone.Ithadnotgonewellforhim.Notwellatall.
Ikebitdownontheinsideofhisbottomlipandgrippedthehandleofthemachetetighter.Hecouldn’tlethisfacebetrayoneounceofthefearthatwasslowlyworkingitswayuphisspine.Youletananimalknowyou’reafraidofitanditlosesallrespectforyou.Ifitdoesn’trespectyou,ithasnoqualmsaboutrippingyourbellyopenandshowingyouwhatyourstomachlookslike.Menmightwalkontwolegsbuttheywerethemostviciousanimalsofall.Especiallywhentheythoughttheyhadanumbersadvantage.Ifthesebikerboyscaughtonewhiffofweakness,they’dbeonhimlikeapackofwilddogs.
Domeswallowedhard.HetookahaltingsteptowardGraysonandIke.
Ikepulledthebladebackwardacrosstheblondman’sneck.Aneedle-thinribbonofbloodappearedasifbymagic.ItslippedoverGrayson’sthroatlikequicksilverandspilledontothecounter.
“Thisthingsharpenoughtoshavewith.I’llcuthisthroattothebonebeforeyougetaroundthatcorner.Believethat,”Ikesaid.
“JesusChrist,Dome,rushthisnigger.It’sfiveagainstoneforfuck’ssake!”Graysonsaid.Itcameoutsomewhatmuffled,butIkeheardtheword“nigger”loudandclear.
Graysontriedtopushhimselfupoffthecounteragain.Ikeappliedmorepressuretotheblade.Itbitdeeperintohisthickneck.Hestoppedstruggling.
“Themissomegoododds,boy,”Domesaid.TheshockofseeingGraysonthoroughlyoverwhelmedwaswearingoff.Ikewatchedastheotherthreebikersseemedtoshakeofftheirownmalaiseandbegantoadvanceaswell.He’dhavetotakeoutthepresidentfirst,thenmoveontotheonecalledDome.Ikecaughthisgazeashemovedtowardtheendofthecounter.Ifyouhadblinkedyouwouldhavemissedit,butforasplitsecondDomehesitated.TherewasmurderinIke’seyes,aspureandaspotentascornliquor.
“Howaboutfiveagainsta.38?Whatdoyouthinkaboutthemodds?”Jazzysaid.Ikechancedaglancetohisleftandsawhisreceptionistpointingasmallchrome-platedpistolatthebikerholdingthepipe.Hestoppedinhistracks.
“Youain’tgonnashootnobody.Aprettylittlethinglikeyouain’tgotit—”Domestartedtosay,butthenJazzyfiredintotheceilingandheclosedhismouthwithanaudibleplop.Theechofromtheshotreverberatedthroughthebuildingandbouncedofftheexposedgirdersabovetheirheads.
Iketriedtohirealotofex-consforhiscrews.Heknewthevalueofasecondchance,andhealsoknewhowharditwastogetajobwhenyouremploymenthistoryhadten-to-fifteen-yeargaps.Butforoncehewasgladoneofhisemployeeswasn’taconvictedfelon.Jazzywastheonlypersonintheentirebuildingwhocouldlegallyownagun.IkegesturedtoJazzywithhishead.
“Sherealnicewiththatthing.SoifIwasyou,I’dbackmyassuptothedoor.ThenI’llletyourboyherego.Trustme,youdon’twannatesther,”Ikelied.Hedidn’tknowifJazzycouldhitthebroadsideofabarn.Rightnow,thatdidn’tmatter.Allthatmatteredwasifthesepeckerwoodsbelievedshewasamarkswoman.
Domelickedhislips.Noonespokeforwhatseemedlikehours.ThenDomeloweredhispipeandstuckitbackinhiswaistband.
“Y’allbackup,”hesaid.
IkewatchedasDomeandtheotherthreebikersshuffledbackwardtowardthedoor.Oncethefourofthemwereoutofstrikingdistance,hebentdownandwhisperedintheblondman’sear.
“I’mgonnaletyouup,butifyouevenraiseyoureyebrowsfunny,I’mgonnaopenyouuplikethefirstdeerofhuntingseason,youfeelme?”
“Youletmeupandyoudon’tkillme,youknowhowthisends,right?”Graysonsaid.HespokeasloudashecouldwiththesideofhismouthpressedagainsttheFormica.
“Iknowyoutryingtosavefacewithyourboys,butifIeverseeyouaroundhereagain,therewon’tbeenoughleftofyoutoputinaZiplocbag.Wordisbond.Idon’tsellnowolftickets,”Ikewhispered.Graysondidn’trespond.Ikepulledthemacheteawayandtookastepbackandtohisleft.Graysonstoodandputhishandagainsthisneck.HeboreaholeintoIke,andIkegaveitrightbacktohim.
“Youbettercallsomeofyourgangsterbuddies,BG.Getyousomesilverbacksuphere.Ohyeah,Iseenyourink.Yougonnaneedallthemporchmonkeystobackyouup.We’retheRareBreed,motherfucker.Wegonnaburnthisgoddamnplacetothegroundandthenpissonthefuckingashes.ThenI’mpersonallytakingashitrightinyourbitch’sgoddamnmouthandmakeyouwatch,”Graysonsaid.IkeheardJazzyinhalesharplywhentheblondbikermentionedher,butshedidn’tflinch.
Graysontookhishandawayfromhisneckandflungittowardthefloor.Dropsofbloodflewfromhispalmandfingertipsandsplatteredacrosstheconcrete.
“Bloodforblood,nigger,”hesaid.HeputhisstainedhandtohislipsandblewakissatJazzy.Ikepointedatthedoorwiththemachete.
“Youneedtodomorewalkingandlesstalking,”Ikesaid.Theblondbikersmiled.Jazzypulledbackthehammeronher.38.
“Seeyousoon,”Graysonsaid.
HeturnedhisbackonIkeandJazzyandwalkedoutthedoor.Hisfellowclubmembersfollowedhim.DomestoppedandgaveIkeareproachfulshakeoftheheadbeforehe,too,exitedthestore.Onceheheardtheirbikesfireupheputdownhismachete.HecouldhearJazzymakingawetkeeningsound.Theguninherhandbegantotremble.
“Jazz,givemethatgun,”Ikesaid.Jazzydidn’tacknowledgehim,soIkegentlypluckedthepistolfromherhandandeasedthehammerforwardbeforeshovingitinhispocket.Jazzystoodnexttohimwithherarmstilloutstretched.
“Jazzy,they’regone.”
“Theycomingback,ain’tthey?”
“Idon’tknow,”Ikelied.
“IthinkI’mgonnathrowup,”Jazzysaidbeforerunningtotheback.Ikewenttothefrontdoorandlockedit.Heclosedhiseyesandputhishandagainstthecoolmetalsurfacetosteadyhimself.TherewasamomentlastnightbetweenhimandBuddyLeeunrollingtherugbutbeforetheygrabbedthehacksawsthathethoughtthatmightbeit.Hethoughtmaybetheycouldgrindthatboyupanditwouldfillthefesteringblackholeintheirhearts.Foraninstanthethoughttheycouldjusttellthemselveshewastheonewhohadkilledtheirsons.Letthatbetheendofit.Letthemgobacktowhatwasleftoftheiremptyliveswiththeknowledgetheyhadevenedthescales.
Thatwasbullshit.Heknewthatnow.
Therewasnoturningback.Therewasnopaththatledanywhereexceptdownalongroadasdarkasyourfirstnightinhellandpavedallalongthewaywithbadintentions.Theycouldcallwhattheywereseekingjustice,butthatdidn’tmakeittrue.Itwasunquenchable,implacablevengeance.Andlife,insidethegraybarandout,hadtaughthimthatvengeancecamewithconsequences.
Thosebikerswouldbeback.Maybetonight.Maybetomorrow.Maybeinafewdays.Buttheywouldbeback.They’dcomeroaringthroughtownstrappedandlookingforawar.Heneededtobeready.Hedidn’tknowhowandhedidn’tknowwhy,butheknewtheyweretiedupwithwhathadhappenedtoIsiahandDerek.Heknewitinhisbones.
They’dcomebacklookingforawar.Hewasgoingtogivethemafuckingmassacre.
TWENTY
IftherewasonethingBuddyLeehadlearnedthroughouthisvariousstintsinandoutofjail,prison,countylockup,anddrunk-tankholdingcells,itwasthatyounever,evervolunteeredanyinformationtoacop.Itdidn’tmatterifyouwereguiltyornot;youdidn’tgivethemanything.Theywouldtellyouwhattheywantedorwhattheysuspectedyouofsoonenough.Theyweregettingpaidtoaskquestions;youdidn’tgetpaidtoanswerthem.
Hesatbackagainstthecouch,crossedhislegs,andwaitedforLaPlatatotellhimwhyhewashereinterruptingthenapBuddyLeedesperatelyneeded.
BuddyLeethought,Itain’taboutthatkid.Ifthatwasit,I’dbeinbraceletsbynow.
LaPlatapulledouthiscellphoneandscrolledthroughafewscreens.Whenhefoundwhathewassearchingfor,heputthephoneonthecoffeetablemadefrommilkcratesthatsatbetweenthem.BuddyLeelookedatthephone.Therewasapictureofabeardedmanwithahugeblackeye.Hismouthwasswollen,too.Hislipslookedlikesausages.ThebackgroundbehindthemanwasthemutedpukegreenthatBuddyLeeknewsowell.Thepicturewasobviouslytakeninapolicestation.
“ThatisMr.BryceThomason.Hecamedowntothepolicestationthismorningandtoldusaninterestingstory.Hesaidtwooldguyscameinhisheadshopandbeattheshitoutofhimwhileaskingquestionsaboutthemurdersoftheirsons.Brycealsohassomebrokenfingers.Hewon’tbevapingwiththathandforawhile,”LaPlatasaid.BuddyLeeraisedhishead.
“Yeah,somebodyfuckedthatboyupgood.But,yaknow,helooklikehegotasmartgoddamnedmouth,soIain’tsurprised.Huh,andhereIwasthinkingyoumighthavesomenewsaboutthecase,”BuddyLeesaid.LaPlataplacedhishandsonhisknees.
“Let’smeberealhonestwithyou,Mr.Jenkins.Offtherecord.Igetit.Youhadaroughrelationshipwithyoursonbecausehewasgayandyoucouldn’thandleit.Nowhe’sbeenkilledandyoucan’tfixthingswithhimsoyouwannafixthepeoplewhodidit,becauseyoudon’tthinkwe’removingfastenough.Iunderstandhowyoufeel.Buthere’sthething.Wecan’thaveprivatecitizensrunningaroundtryingtogetretribution.That’showpeoplelikeBryceheregethurt.That’showIenduphavingtoarrestyouanddragyoudowntown.Idon’twanttodothat,Mr.Jenkins,butIwill.Peoplecan’ttakethelawintotheirownhands.That’showwegetanarchy.Andbythelookofthebruisesonyourface,you’veengagedinsomeanarchyrecently.”
“Youreallybelievethat,don’tyou?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Yes,Ido.”
BuddyLeescratchedathischin.“Youkeepsayingyouunderstand.Yougotkids,DetectiveLaPlata?”
“Igotaboyandagirl,andbeforeyouask,yes,ifsomeonehurtthemI’dwanttofindthebastardsandkillthemslow,butIwouldn’t,becauseI’dtrustmyfellowofficerstofindthepeoplewhodiditandhandleittherightway,”LaPlatasaid.
“Seethat’swherewearedifferent.Yousayingthatbecauseitain’thappenedtoyou,andIsweartoGodIhopeitneverdoes.Butuntilyousittingonthissideofthetable,I’dappreciateitifyoustopsayingyouunderstand.NowI’mnolawyer,butI’mthinkingifyouhadmorethanthewordofthatboy—whatyousayhisnamewas,Bryson?”
“Bryce,”LaPlatasaid.
“Yeah,Bryce.I’mthinkingifyouhad,say,somevideosofwhobeathisfuckingteethin,well,you’dbearrestingmerightnow.Butyouain’tbecauseyoudon’t.Nowifyoudon’tmind,I’mprettydamntiredandI’dliketogetsomesleep.”
“Hey,Mr.Jenkins.I’msincerelysorryforyourloss.Idon’tknowhowitfeels,butIcanimagine.Becauseifsomeonehurtmykids,I’dlosemyfuckingmind.Butlet’smakesurewegotonethingstraight.I’mgivingyouanouthere.Thisisyouronetimestay-out-of-jail-freecard.Yeah,it’syourandMr.Randolph’swordagainstBryce,whois,infact,alittleshit.Histwoassociatescan’tseemtorememberwhocameinandputthehurtingonhim.SoI’mlettingthisoneslide.I’vedrivensixtymilesoutsideofmyjurisdictiontogiveyouawarning.Nexttime,ifthereisanexttime,I’mhaulingyoudowntown,andI’llgetthejudgetosetabailjusthighenoughit’llkeepyouinjailuntilwefinishourinvestigation.Weclearaboutthat?”LaPlataasked.
“LikeIsaid,Officer,I’mabouttobedeadtotheworld,soifyoucouldexcuseme.I’vegotabignightaheadofmelayingherethinkingaboutmyboyandhowIcan’tneverfixthingswithhim,”BuddyLeesaid.Awhite-hotrageflamedinhischestlikeashatteredhurricanelamp.Thisfuckingcopwithhiscrispwhiteshirtandhispleatedpantswithacreasesharpenoughtoslicebreadwantedtalktohimaboutloss?Thisprettyboywhodidn’tlooklikehewouldknowwhathardtimeswereiftheycameupandspitinhisgoddamnface?Thispreppy-lookingsonofabitchwhoprobablynevermissedaChristmaswithhisfamilyandplayedtouchfootballeveryThanksgivinglikeagoddamnedKennedy?Thisguywhohadnicemiddle-classsexwithhiswifeeveryotherFridaynight?Whoneverhadtotellhisspoiledbratofadaughtertheydidn’thaveenoughmoneyforthedollbabyshewanted?Whoprobablylivedinanicetwo-storyonthenorthsideoftheCapCitywithhisgoddamnedlivingbreathingsonwantedtotellhimaboutloss?Abouthowhecouldn’tfixthingswithDerek?Fuckhim.FuckhimandhishappyNormanRockwellbullshitlife.BuddyLeewasacquaintedwithlossinwaysDet.LaPlatacouldneverevenconceive,letalonesurvive.
BuddyLeeranhisthumbsbackandforthoverthecallusesonhisforefingers.LaPlatastoodandalmostreflexivelydustedoffhisbackside.
“Stayoutofthis,Mr.Jenkins.MypartnerisheadedovertoMr.Randolph’srightnowtotellhimthesamething.Letusdoourjob.Youcan’tchangewhathappenedbutyoucancontrolwhathappensnext.”
Youhavenoidea,hoss,BuddyLeethought.
TWENTY-ONE
Ikepulledintohisdrivewayjustasthesettingsundancedoverthetipsofthecypresstreesinhisbackyard.Hecutoffhistruckandwentintothehouse.Heclosedthedoorbehindhimandlockedit.Theylivedinacul-de-sacoffasideroad.Ifsomeonefollowedhim,he’dbeabletoseethemcoming,buthedidn’twanttomakeiteasyforthemtogetinsidethehouse.Vacuousvoiceschatteredincessantlyfromthetelevisioninthelivingroom.Myawassittingonthecouch.Thesmokefromhercigaretteflowedupfromherashtraylikeawill-o’-the-wisp.
Ikehunghiskeysonthecombochalkboard/keyrackonthewallandwenttothekitchen.HeheardMyagettoherfeetandfollowhim.Hegrabbedtherumfromthecabinetandpouredhimselfashotinaheavycut-crystalglass.Therumburnedallthewaydowntohisstomach.HeknewMyawouldbestandingnearthebroomclosetwithherarmscrossedoverhernarrowchest.Heknewthelookthatwouldbeetchedonherface.Hestartedtopourhimselfanothershot,thenstopped.Heputtheglassinthesinkandturnedtofacehiswife.Herarmswereindeedcrossedoverherchestasshegloweredathim.
“Youstayingoutallnightnow?”sheasked.
“Somethingcameup,”Ikesaid.
“Oh,somethingcameup?Thatmadeyourphonestopworking?”
“I’msorryIdidn’tcall.”
“You’resorry.Okay.Wherethehellwereyou?Youknowthatdetectivecamebyearlierlookingforyou.IthoughthemighthavesomenewsaboutIsiah’scase,buthesaidheneededtotalktoyoupersonally.Yougotanyideawhatthehellthat’sabout?”
Thementionofthedetectivesentashiverthroughhisspinebutitquicklydissipated.Ifhewaslookingtojamhimupaboutthekidthey’dturnedintofertilizer,hewouldhavecomebytheshopwithapairofhandcuffs.EspeciallysinceIkehadapriorformanslaughter.
That’swhattheycalledit,anyway,Ikethought.
Hegaveupontheglassandtookaswigofrumstraightfromthebottle.Myacrossedthedistancebetweenthemlikeagazelle.Shesnatchedthebottlefromhisgripandslammeditdownonthekitchentable.Afewdropsescapedthelongneckofthebottleandsplatteredontothetable,thendrippedofftheedge.
“Weain’tstartingthis,Ike.”
“Startingwhat?WhatisityouthinkI’mdoing?”
Myarubbedherhandstogether,thenheldthemoutinfrontofher.Asshespoke,herhandstrembled.
“Idon’tknow.Idon’tthinkyouarecheatingonme.Wearewaytoooldforthatkindofpettyshit,Ihope.Butyoucan’tberunningthesestreetsdrinkingallnightandsleepingitoffattheshopbecauseof…”Shetrailedoffintoasob.
“Iwasn’tdrinking.Notlastnight.AndRedHillain’tgotnorealstreets.Justalotofroadsthatdon’tgonowhere,”Ikesaidinahushedtone.
“Ican’ttakeit,Ike.Idon’twanttogetacallaboutthemfindingyourbodyafteryourtruckdonerunofftheroadbecauseyoudrunk.I’mbarelyholdingonasitis.Ifitwasn’tforArianna,Iwouldn’tevengetoutofbedinthemorning.She’stheonlythingthatmattersnow,andIcan’tdothisbymyself.Ican’traiseheralone,Ike.IdidthatwithIsiahandIjustain’tgotthestrengthanymore,”Myasaid.Tearsrandownherface.Ikestartedtoputhisarmsaroundherbutsheflinched.Hestopped.
“Iknow.IknowitwashardwhenIwentaway.YouraisedhimrightwhileIwaslockedup.YoumadehimabettermanthanI’lleverbe.Butthisain’tthesamething.Itain’tnothinglikeitwasbefore.AndAriannaain’ttheonlythingthatmattersnow.Don’twematterjustalittlebit?Whatwehad,youandme,don’tthatmattertoyouatall?”Hedidn’tintendtospeakabouttheminthepasttense,butthewordsflewoutofhismouthlikehornetsriledfromtheirnest.Myadidn’tseemtonotice.
“Youknowitdoes.”
“SometimesIcan’ttell,”Ikesaid.Myawipedherface.
“Howcanyousaythattome?Iloveyou,Ike.I’velovedyouforlongerthanIcanremember.Butourboyisdead.AndIcan’twrapmymindaroundthat.IkeeptryingandtryingandthenIlookatAriannaandIseesomuchofIsiahinhertillIalmostcan’tstandit.Ithurtssobad,Ike.It’slikeIain’tgotnoroominmyheartfornothingbuthurt.Isthatwhyyoudidn’tcomehome?Youcan’tstandlookingathurtanymore?Isthathowit’sgonnabe?Likeit’sonenight.Thenacouple.Thenyoudon’tcomehomeforweeks.Thenonedayyougone.Isthatwhatthisis,Ike?Youtestingthewatersonyourwayoutthedoor?”Myasaid.
Ikepickedupthebottleagainandtookalongsip.ItseemedlikeMyahadcriedsomuchhereyeswerepermanentlybloodshot.Thoseeyeshauntedhim.Rimmedinredandemptyasanabandonedchurch,theymadehimfeelhelpless.Everynighthersoftwhimperingcriestorepiecesoutofhissoulastheysleptback-to-backinabedthatseemedtowidenuntilitfeltliketheywerebarelyinthesameroom.Shewasright.Hewastiredofseeingherhurt.Hecouldn’tstandtoseethepainthattwistedherfaceintoasorrowfulmask.Herpain,hersorrow,hispowerlessness.Hewassickofitall.Hepulledoutachairandsatdownatthetable.HewasfacingthebackdoorasMyastoodbehindhim.
“LastnightmeandBuddyLeestartinghandlingthings,”hesaid.Itcameoutinonebreath.Onelongexhalationthatgatheredupallthefrailtyandineffectualnessandmiseryandmourningthatfilledhimlikethestuffinginascarecrowandscattereditintotheether.
Myastretchedoutherhandintentativeincrementsuntilittouchedthefirmswellofhisshoulder.Itlaytherewarmandcomfortinglikeachild’sfavoriteblanket.Liketheblanketthathadbeenwrappedaroundtheirsonwhentheybroughthimhomefromthehospital.Ikeletoutasigh.Shehadn’ttouchedhimlikethatsinceIsiah…sincetheyhadgottenthenewsaboutIsiah.
Thequietbetweenthemchangedfromsomethinghardandfullofbrokenedgestosomethingsofterbutstillfragile.IkefoldedhiswidepawofahandaroundMya’s.Overthelastfewmonths,deathhadcarvedavalleybetweenthemasdeepasgriefandaswideasheartbreak.Nowanotherman’sdeathhadbridgedthatgap,ifonlyforamoment.
“Good,”Myasaid.Hervoicewashushedandconspiratorial.
“Grammy.Ihungry,Grammy,”asmallvoicesaid.Iketwistedhimselfaroundinthechair.Ariannastoodatthethresholdtothekitchen.Herbraidshadworkedthemselvesloose.Herhairstooduponherheadinwildcorkscrews.Ikestudiedhersmalltawnyface.Hewasn’tsurehowexactlyIsiahandDerekhadbroughtthislittlegirlintotheworld.Heknewitinvolvedsurrogatesandeggsandspermfrombothofthembuthewasn’tsurehowitallworked.AllheknewwasthatthelawyerforIsiahandDerek’sestateshadsaidthatIsiahwasherbiologicalfather,butshehadcalledbothofthemDaddy.HehadneverstudiedherfacethewayMyahad.He’drefusedto.Notinaconsciouswaybutwithaseeminglyinstinctualavoidance.Thewholethingwasjustsomethinghedidn’tcaretothinkabout.Nowhehadnochoice.ThegirlstandinginfrontofhimnowhadIsiah’seyes,whichmeantshehadIke’seyes.Theslightoff-centerpositioningofhernosewasaRandolphfamilytrait.Shewaslighter,ofcourse,becausehermotherhadbeenawhitewomanwhowasafriendofIsiahandDerek’s,buttheRandolphDNAwasstrong.Strongerthathisinabilitytoseepasthisownhang-ups.Ifheclosedhiseyesabit,shewasIsiahattwoyearsold,holdinguphisarmsandsquealing“Up,Daddy,up!”ashewaitedforIketograbhimandspinhimaroundtheroomlikealivingcarousel.
Iketurnedawayandstareddownatthetable.Hefeltnauseous.Anavalancheofmemorieswashedoverhimandburiedhimundertheweightofallofhismistakes.Somanymistakes.
“Comehere,babygirl.YouwannagotoMcDonald’s?”Myaasked.Ariannasquealedindelight.
God,shesoundsjustlikehim,Ikethought.
Myagavehisshoulderafirmsqueeze,thenwalkedovertoAriannaandscoopedherintoherarms.Ikecouldhearstepsasshemovedfromthekitchentothelivingroom,thenoutthefrontdoor.Ikesippedhisrum.Hewouldn’ttellMyaanythingelse.Shedidn’tneedtoknowaboutthebikersorthisTangerinetheyweregoingtotrytofind.Rightnow,alleitheroneofthemneededwasthis.
IkeheardMya’scarstart.Whatthatlittlegirlneededwastwopeopletoraiseherwhocouldlookherinthefacewithoutfallingapart.Ikeputthebottletohislipsbutdidn’ttakeadrink.Insteadhegotupandputthebottlebackinthecabinet.BuddyLeewasanalcoholic,butattherateIkewasgoing,hewasn’tfarbehindhim.
Ike’sphonevibrated.Hetookitoutandcheckedthescreen.Speakofthedevil.HetouchedtheANSWERbutton.
“Hey,hoss,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Hey,weneedtotalk.Face-to-face,”Ikesaid.
“Okay.Isitcooltomeetatyourshop?”
“No.Comebythehouse.I’lltextyoutheaddress,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeecoughed.“Everythingalright?”heasked.
“I’lltellyouaboutitwhenyougethere,”Ikesaid.
Heendedthecall.
TWENTY-TWO
BuddyLeeparkedhistrucknexttoIke’sdually.Histruckshudderedastheenginedieseledforafewseconds.BuddyLeegotoutandletthetruckshimmyandshakeashewalkedtothefrontdoor.HetookaquickglimpsebackathisandIke’struckssittingsidebyside.Itwaslikeseeingapigsittingnexttoaprincess.Heraisedhishandtoknockonthedoor,butitopenedbeforehecouldtouchit.Ikestoodinthedoorway.
“Wecantalkinthekitchen,”Ikesaidashesteppedaside.BuddyLeeenteredthehouse.Ikeclosedandlockedthedoor.
“Niceplace,”BuddyLeesaid.
“It’salright,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeegrunted.
“Igotmilkcratesforacoffeetable.Thisismorethanalright,”BuddyLeesaid.IkepulledoutachairandgesturedforBuddyLeetodothesame.
“Yougotanythingtodrinkaroundhere?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Ithoughtwesaidyouwasn’tgonnadrinkwhilewedothis,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeranahandthroughhislankhair.
“WesaidI’dcutback.Trustme,I’mworkingonit.Wealone?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Yeah.MyatookAriannatogetsomethingtoeat,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeenoddedhishead.
“IguessyouwannatalkaboutOfficerFriendlycomingby,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeleanedforwardacrossthetableonhisforearms.
“Thecopscametoseeyou?”
“Yeah.Ifiguredthat’swhatyouwastalkingaboutonthephone.What,theydidn’tcomebyandseeyou?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Iwasn’there.”
“Well,shit,nowIfeeldiscriminatedagainst,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikesatbackandcluckedhistongueagainsttheroofofhismouth.
“Anyoneevertellyouthatyouplaytoomuch?”Ikeasked.
“EverydayoftheweekandtwiceonSunday.Wait,whatwasthethingyouwantedtotalkabout?”BuddyLeeasked.
“We’llgettomeinaminute.Tellmewhatthecopshadtosay.Iknowitwasn’tnothingabouttheboys,”Ikesaid.TherewasahardedgetohisvoicethatBuddyLeehadheardintheheadshopwhenhewassnappingthehipster’sfingerlikeabreadstick.Acoldflamethatburneduptheoxygenintheroomanddroppedthetemperaturebyfivedegrees.
BuddyLeeranahandthroughhishair.
“Well,Isupposethegoodnewsisitain’tgotnothingtodowithourfriendfromlastnight.Andyouright,itwasn’tabouttheboys,either.Oneofthemlittlepunk-assSmithBrothers–lookingfuckersfromthatheadshopwentdowntothepolicestationonhisunicycle,”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikecockedhisheadtotheside.“Hesayhewaspressingcharges?”Ikeasked.
“Nah.Histwocomradesarescaredshitless.Theyain’tbackinguphisstory,andtheplacedon’thavenovideocameras.Soweshouldbealrightthere,butDetectiveEggRolltoldmeifhehearsaboutuskickinganymoremillennialass,hegonnaputusbothinaholdingcelluntildaylightsavingtimeisover,”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikefrowned.“WhyyoucallhimDetectiveEggRoll?”
“What?It’sjustajoke.Yaknow,becausehe’sChinese,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Idon’teventhinkhe’sChinese.Iswearyouwhiteboysgotajokeforeverybody,butifIsaidyourfamilytreeain’tgotnobranches,you’dbereadytofight.”
“Shit,nah.Igotanunclewho’smycousin,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikerolledhiseyes.“I’mjoking.Everybodytoodamnsensitivethesedays.”
“Weain’tsensitive.Backinthedaynobodycouldsayshitoroneofyouruncleswould’vetriedtohang’emfromatree.NowIcantellyoutokissmyentireass,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeescratchedathischinasheconsideredIke’sabbreviatedhistorylesson.
“Alright,I’llgiveyouthat.Butletmeaskyouthis:YouextendingthatcourtesytopeoplelikeIsiahandDerek,too?Couldtheyhavetoldyoutokisstheirass?”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeshiftedinhischairandcrossedhisarms.Hedidn’tanswerBuddyLee’squestion.
“Becarefulyoudon’thurtyourselffallingoffthathighhorsethere,Ike,”BuddyLeesaid.Heletoutalongbrayinglaughthatdidn’tstopuntilhestartedhacking.Ikegotupandgotabottleofwaterfromthefridge.HetossedittoBuddyLee,whodespitecoughinglikea’73Gremlinwithabadvalve,caughtitdeftlywithonehand.BuddyLeekilledthewaterintwogulpsandtossedtheemptybottlebacktoIke.Iketosseditinthetrashandsatdownagain.Herubbedthepalmsofhiscallusedhandstogetherbeforeplacingthemflatonthetable
“TellmewhatyouknowaboutthisRareBreed,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeefrowned.“Whythefuckyouaskingaboutthemcrazymotherfuckers?”
“Aboutfiveofthemcamebytheshoptoday.Theywereaskingaboutafriendoftheirs.Theywerepackingpipesandsawed-offpoolcuestojogmymemory.Now,whodoyouthinktheirfriendwas?I’llgiveyouthreeguessesandthefirsttwodon’tcount,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeeletoutalowlongwhistle.
“Shit.He’sinthatcompostpilefromlastnight,ain’the?Goddamn,Ireallycouldusethatdrink,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah.”
BuddyLeerubbedhisfacebeforeheansweredIke’squestion.
“Theyone-percenters.GotchaptersallupanddowntheEastCoast.Theymainlyrungunsandmeththroughtheirclubhousesandoutattruckstops.Iusedtorunwithsomeboysthatdidalittlebusinesswiththem.Movinggunsaround.Handlingsomeoftheirmeth.Theyseriousoperators.Theysayyoucan’tgetafullpatchunlessyoucanproveyoudonesomewetworkfortheclub.Theynotskinheads,buttheyain’tbigfansofpeoplewholooklikeyouorlivelikeIsiahandDerek.YousureitwastheBreed?”BuddyLeeasked.
“IgotagoodlookatthepatchononeofthemwhenIputamachetetohisthroat,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeleanedbackinhischairuntilthefrontlegscameoffthefloor.Whenallfourlegswereonthegroundagainheexhaled.Ithadamoisttone.
“Afuckingmachete.JesusChrist.Youreallyarecrazierthananouthouserat,ain’tya?IwishI’dbeentheretoseeit.Yeah,Iusedtopartywithsomeofthemboys.Theyain’tthetypetoletthatshitgo.Howyouthinktheygotalineonyou,anyways?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Theotheronefromlastnightmusthavenoticedmytruck.Weshouldn’thaveparkedsoclosetothegoddamnhouse.Thatwasasimpmove,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,Ididn’tthinkaboutthat,either.Iguesswebeenoutthegamealongtime.”
“Toolong,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeedrummedhisfingersonthetable.
“Fromnowonweusemytruck.It’sgotfourbaldtiresandI’mholdingthedooronwithbalingwire,butit’llgetuswhereweneedtogo,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Andwhere’sthat?Whatyouthinkweshoulddonext?”Ikeasked.Hehadhisownidea,buthewantedtoseewhereBuddyLee’sheadwasat.
“Hell,ifIknow.I’mstilltryingtogetmymindright.Ican’tforthelifeofmeseehowtheRareBreedfitintothis,”BuddyLeesaid.Hesatbackinhischair.Iketurnedandstaredoutthewindowoverhissink.Hecouldseetheboxwoodsthatformedahedgerowthatseparatedhishousefromtheemptymobilehomenextdoor.ItwouldhavebeenniceifhecouldpretendthatheandIsiahhadplantedthosetogetherinaHallmarkmoviemoment.Nicebutalie.Thedayhe’dputthemin,IsiahhadcomebytoseeMyatotellherabouthisnewjob.Ikehadstayedoutsidetakinghistimewiththeshrubs.Atacertainpointintheirrelationship,alltheirinteractionshadstartedendingineitherargumentsorevasion.
“Youknowhowtheyfuckingfitintothis.Theykilledourboys.Idon’tknowwhy,andrightnowIdon’tevencare.OneofthemmotherfuckersfromthatclubstoodoverIsiahandDerekandblewtheirfuckingheadsoff,”Ikesaid.Sayingitfeltcathartic.Atlasttherewasatargetinhiscrosshairs.AfacehecouldputonthebogeymanthatstalkedIsiahinIke’snightmares.
“Yeah.Thatwasthefirstthingpoppedinmymindwhenyousaidtheycamebyyourplace.Ijust…”BuddyLeelettheendofthesentencefloatbetweenthem.
“What?”Ikesaid.
“Itjustdon’tmakenosense.IfIsiahwasworkingonastoryaboutsomeguyTangerinewasseeing,what’sthatgottodowiththeBreed?WhywouldDerekbepissedoffaboutthat?”
“Maybeshe’soneoftheiroldladiesandshesawsomeshitsheshouldn’thaveseen.MaybeshewastalkingtoIsiahaboutflippingonthem,”Ikesaid.
“Youdon’tknowthesegirls.Oldladiesdon’tsnitch.Eveniftheygetdumped.ThemMC’sarealikeacult.TheirKool-AidwouldmakeJimJonesjealous,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeshiftedinhischairandcrossedhislegs.
“Yousoundlikeyoucan’tbelieveyourbuddiesshotourkids,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeenarrowedhiseyesuntiltheywerenearlyslits.
“Theyain’tmygoddamnbuddies.ButIknowthemandIcan’tseethemkillingDerekandIsiahoverastoryforagaywebsitethatmaybefifteenpeoplehaveeverheardof.Plentyofmagazinesandnewspapersandshithavedonewrite-upsontheBreed.Hell,theygotsomeoftheheadlinesframedintheirclubhouses.Ijustcan’tseeDerekgettingallbentoutofshapebecauseabiker’soldladygotdumped,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeputhisforefingertohislip.
“Whatifthismarriedguywhodumpedherwasn’tapartoftheclub?”Ikesaid
“Idon’tfollow,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Comeon,webothknewguysfromtheseclubsinsideandonthestreet.Theydoalotoffreelancing.Whatiftheguywhodumpedherputthemonherandtheboys?Hewasmarriedandhedidn’twantittogetout,soheputagreenlightonallthreeofthem,”Ikesaid.
“Fuckme.Inevereventhoughtaboutthat.Goddamnliquordonepickledmybrain.Theydefinitelyhavetakensomeoutsideworkbefore.Shit,theydoneafairbitforChuly,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Oneofthempulledthetrigger,butsomebodyelsegavetheword,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,I’dsaythataboutsumsitup,”BuddyLeesaid.Forafewmomentswhateverwordstheythoughtaboutspeakingevaporatedintheirmouths.Theambienthumsandgroansofthehousefilledthespacesbetweenthem.
“Theywon’tnevermyfriends.Notreally.BackwhenIusedtogoforbad,I’dfuckaroundwiththem.Hangoutattheirclubhouse.Theyalwayshadalotofwomenaround,andI’vealwaysbeenafoolforaprettysmileandflexiblemorals.Wehadalotoffunwiththemboys.Thatdon’tmatternonenow.IfindtheoneswhoputourboysdownandI’llpainttheinsideoftheirclubhousewiththeirbrains,”BuddyLeesaid.Hiswateryblueeyesseemedtoglow.
IkeknewwhatgaveBuddyLee’seyesthatmurderoussheen.Itwastheragecoursingthroughhisveins.Apoisonthatkilledoffcertainpartsofyourself.Thepartsthatmadeyouweak.ItwascoursingthroughIke’sveins,too.Itwaspowerfulbutdeadly.Itmadeyoudeterminedbutreckless.Itgaveyouanedgethatcouldturnagainstyouandslityourownthroat.
“ThewayIseeit,there’sonlyonewaytogoonthis,”Ikesaid.
“Whatyouthinking?”
“WehavetofindTangerinebeforetheRareBreeddoes.Becausewhoeverputthepaperonherputthesamepaperontheboys.Iftheyfindherfirst,theyallgetaway.Iwantthem,butIwanttheonewhogavetheorder,too.Iwanttoseehisface,”Ikesaid.
“Icangetbehindthat.Findthegirl,findtheonewhomadethecall,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikenoddedandcheckedhiswatch.
“It’salmostseven.Letmegochangeandthenweheadbacktothecityandfindthisbar,”Ikesaid.
“That’llwork.Shit,Ishouldcallyourwifeandtellhertobringmesomething.I’mstarving,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikegavehimalook,butBuddyLeecould’vesworntherewasthehintofasmilearoundthecornersofhismouth.
“Wegotsomeleftoversfromtherepastinthefreezer.Orsomelunchmeatandcheeseinthefridgeifyouwannamakeasandwich,”Ikesaid.
“Youstillgotfoodleftfromtherepast?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Youain’tneverbeentoaBlackfuneral,haveyou?Whenmygranddaddypassedweatebakedhamforamonth.Bread’sintheboxnexttothemicrowave,”Ikesaid.HemovedpastBuddyLeeandacrossthelivingroomtothestairs.HisshoulderbrushedagainstBuddyLee’s.Itwaslikeaglancingblowfromananvil.
“Hewounduptighterthanagoddamnedduck’sass,”BuddyLeemumbled.Hewenttothebreadboxandpulledouttwowheatslices.Hemovedtothefridgeandgrabbedsomeslicedham,slicedcheese,andajarofmayo.AsheconstructedhissandwichhethoughtaboutwhatIkehadsaidaboutpeoplenotbeingafraidtotellyoutofuckoffthesedays.Derekwasn’tthetypetotellyoutofuckoff.Hejustcutyouofflikeyouneverexisted.Eraseyoulikeyouwereamathproblemonablackboard.ThelasttimetheyhadtalkedwaswhenhehadcalledBuddyLeetotellhimheandIsiahweregettingmarried.
“So,whichoneofy’allgonnabethewife?”BuddyLeehadsaid.He’dbeensittinginhisdeliverytrucktakingabreakbetweendrops.Tosaythatthelinehadgonesilentwasanunderstatement.Itwasmorelikeithadceasedtobe.LikeGodhadsnappedhisfingersandeverythingontheotherendofthelinehadwinkedoutofexistence.
“Hello?Hello?D-Man,I’mjustfuckingwithyou,”BuddyLeehadsaid.HehadheardDereksuckhisteeth.
“MynameisDerek.I’mnevergonnabeaD-Man.I’mjustDerek,yourgay,classicallytrainedculinaryartistofason,”Derekhadsaid.
“Alright,alright.Damn,youreallygottadrivethathome,don’tya?”BuddyLeesaid.
“What?ThatI’mgay?It’sapartofwhoIam,Dad.Justlikebeingallergictocatsorhavinggreeneyes,”Derekhadsaid.
“Yeah,yeah.Ijustdon’tknowwhyyougottarubitinmyface,that’sallI’msaying,”BuddyLeehadyelledintothephone.Hehadn’tmeanttoyellbuthecouldn’thelphimself.TherewasanuglypartofhimthatpulsedandfesteredwheneverDerekbroughtuphissexuality.Itmadehimsaythingshecouldn’ttakebackinwaysthatcouldn’tbeforgotten.
“Isiahaskedmetoinviteyou,butyouknowwhat?Forgetit.It’sgoingtobethehappiestdayofmylife,butIwouldn’twanttorubitinyourface,”Dereksaid.
“Hey,heynow—”ButDerekhadcuthimofflikeameatcleaver.
“I’dexpectthisfromMomandGerald,butforsomereasonIthoughtyoumightbedifferent.Ithoughtyoumightatleastpretendtobehappyforme.Stupid,right?”Derekhadsaid.Hisvoicedidn’tcrack,butBuddyLeeknewbythewayhiscadencehadtakenonastiltedtonehewascrying.
“Justsoyouknow,you’remissingout.Ariannaisgoingtobeabeautifulflowergirl,”Derekhadsaid.Thenthelinehadgonedead.Afewmonthslater,afterwalkingdowntheaislewithhishusband,sowasDerek.
“Oh,fuckme,”BuddyLeesaid.Hiseyesbegantosting.
Thefamiliarsoundofakeybeinginsertedintoalockbrokehimoutofhisreverie.Hewipedhisfacewiththebackofhishand.HewastryingtodecideifheshouldsitdownorkeepstandingwhenaslimBlackwomanwithacrownofbrownbraidssteppedthroughthedoorway.
“Hello,”shesaid.Shehadafast-foodbagtuckedunderherrightarm.Herleftarmwastrailingbehindher.Alittlegirlwithskinthecolorofhoneywasholdingontothewoman’slefthand.
“Uh,hey.I’mBuddyLee.Derek’sdaddy.”
“Yeah,Irememberyoufromthe…”
“Whenweallwasdowntherewhenthey,uh…”
“Yeah.Well,I’mMya.AndthislittleballoftroublehereisArianna.Idon’tmeanthisinarudeway,butwhyareyouinmyhouse,BuddyLee?”thewomanasked.
“Oh,I’m…Iwas,uh…IwasheretoseeIkebuthewentupstairs.”ThelittlegirlpeepedatBuddyLeefrombehindMya’sleg.BuddyLeegaveheratwo-fingersalute.Hefeltthebloodrushtohisface.
“Howyoudoing,MissLittleBit?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Arianna,canyousayhi?Thisyourgranddaddy,too,”Myasaid.BuddyLeeheardthehollowcheerinessinhervoice.AriannahidherfaceinMya’sthigh.
“Imetyoualongtimeago.Derek…yourdaddy,broughtyoutoseeme,butyouprobablydon’tremember,”BuddyLeesaid.AriannahummedintoMya’sleg.
“Shebashfulsometimes,”Myasaid.
“It’salright.Iwouldn’twanttotalktome,either,”BuddyLeesaidwithacrookedsmile.
“I’dofferyousomethingtoeatbutitlookslikeyoualreadymadeyourselfathome,”Myasaid.BuddyLeewassuddenlyawareofthesandwichinhishand.
“Ohshit.Imeanshoot.Ikesaiditwasokay,”BuddyLeesaid.AriannapeepedaroundMya’slegathim.Hewinkedatherandshegiggled.
“Itisokay.He’saguest,right?”Ikesaid.HewasstandingbehindMya.BuddyLeehadn’tnoticedhimcomebackdownthestairs.HewaswearingablackT-shirt,bluejeans,andapairofTimberlandboots.
“Goddamn,youquietasaghost,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah,he’saguest,”Myasaid.BuddyLeeshiftedfromonefoottotheother.HewaitedforIkeorhiswifetosaysomethingelse,butitseemedliketheirvocabularieshadbothrundry.BuddyLeetookabiteoutofhissandwich.Thiskindofawkwardnessmadehimrestless.
“MeandBuddyLeegoingout.I’llbebacklater,”Ikesaidfinally.Ikemotionedtowardthedoorwithhishead.BuddyLeeslippedpastMya.
“Excuseme,ma’am,”hesaid.Hesteppedthroughthedoorway.IketurnedtofollowhimwhenMyareachedoutandtouchedhisarm.
“Becareful.Don’tdonothingyoucan’twalkawayfrom,”Myasaid.Ikesawtheblood-soakedtamperinhishandswithbitsofskullandbrainsstickingtothesquaremetalplateattheendofthehandle.
“Iwon’t,”helied.
TWENTY-THREE
Graysonfingeredthebandageagainsthisneckwhilehespokeintohiscellphone
“Nah,wegonnafuckthisdudeuprighteously.I’mtalkingscorchedfuckingearth.Thisboyain’tgonnaknowwhatthehellhithim.YouthinkyouandChoppaandyourcrewcancomedown,too?WeneedtoputtheBreedbeatdownonthisfucker,”Graysonsaid.Aseriesofhigh-tonedbeepsranginhisearasTank,thepresidentoftheHurricane,WestVirginia,chapteroftheRareBreed,yammeredonaboutretribution,takingcareofbusiness,andRareBreedforever,foreverRareBreed.
“Hey,Tank,letmegetbacktoyou,”Graysonsaid.Heclickedovertotheincomingcall.
“Yeah.”
“I’mgoingtoassumesinceIhavenotheardfromyouintwodaysyouhavenotfoundthegirl,”thevoiceontheotherendsaid.Graysonbitdownontheinsideofhischeekbeforeheresponded.
“No,weain’tfoundyoursidepieceyet.I’mgladyoucalledsoIcantellyouthat’sgonnahavetowait.WegotBreedbusinesstotakecareofnow.Allbecauseofyouandthesefaggots,”Graysonsaid.
“IthoughtImademyselfcleartheotherday.NothingismoreimportantrightnowthanfindingTangerine.Wastheresomemiscommunication?”
“No,youwasclear,butnowIgotamissingprospectandaniggeroutofRedHillCountywhothinkshecanholdafuckingmachetetomyneckandstayupright.”
Thevoicesighed.
“Elucidatethesituationmoreclearlyforme.”
“What?”Graysonsaid.
“Tell.Me.What.Happened.”ThevoicepronouncedeachwordwithanoverexaggeratedenunciationthatmadeGrayson’svisiongostarkwhite.
“Don’ttalktomelikeI’mstupid.JustbecauseIdon’tkeepadictionarybymynightstanddon’tmeanI’mstupid,”Graysonsaid.
“Tellme.”
“Well,Ifollowedyoursuggestionandsentacoupleprospectsouttothepunks’housetoseewhattheycouldsee.Whentheygotthereapparentlythemboys’daddieswasinthehouse.Oneofthemjumpedtheprospects,andtheothersnuckupbehindthemandknockedthemout.Whentheonethatcamebackwokeuphisbrotherwasgoneandsowasthedaddies.”
“Hmm.”
“Yeah.Nowthisprospect,hesawatruckinfrontofthehousewiththenameofalawn-carebusinessonthesideofthedoor.Youwannaknowwhoownedthetruck?”Graysonsaid.
“Oneofthefathers,Iassume.”
“Youbetyourfuckingassitdid.RandolphLawnCare.Werolledoverthere,butthismotherfucker,heain’tnosquare.Hegotjailink.Hedonesomerealtime.Wewon’texpectingthat,”Graysonsaid.
“Letmeguess.Hewasabletowardoffyouandyourbrothers,”thevoicesaid.
“Hegotthedroponus,yeah.Hedon’tknowityet,butthat’sthelasttimeheevergonnawalkstraight.We’regoingbackandwe’regonnafixhimupright,”Graysonsaid.Thevoicedidn’tspeakforalongtime.
“No,you’renot.”
“Excusethefuckoutofme?Itoldyou,thisisBreedbusinessnow.Yourlittlehoneypotisgonnahavetowait.Thatbitchbeengonebye-byeforalongtimeanyway,”Graysonsaid.Hepickeduphismini-sledgehammergavelandstartedtappingitagainstthetable.
“No,it’sstillmybusiness.Stopandthinkforamoment.Thefathersoftwodeadsonsareintheirboys’homeweeksafterthefuneral.Why?Didyourremainingprospectnoteanyfurniturebeingmovedoutofthehome?Doesn’tseemliketheywereretrievinganyfamilyheirlooms.Thenthesetwomen,thesegrievingfathers,whoopyourprospects’collectiveasses,butinsteadofcallingthepoliceandreportingabreak-in,theydisappearwithahostageintow.Thenwhenyouandyourrollinggangofmiscreantsconfrontoneofthesegrievinggentlemen,notonlydoeshegetthedroponyou,heagaindoesnotalertthepolice.Nowtellme,whatdoesthatsaytoyou?Andbeforeyouanswer,considerwhatyoutoldmeaboutoneofthesemen.Ahardmanwhohasdonehardtime.Whatdothinkallthismeans?Betteryet,tellmewhatyouwoulddo,beingthekindofmanyouare,ifpersonsunknownkilledyourson?”thevoiceasked.Graysonpulledthephoneawayfromhisearandlaiditagainsthisforeheadforafewsecondsbeforeansweringthevoice’squestion.
“Firstofall,Iwouldn’thaveagayson.Secondofall,Ialreadyknowthis.Everythingyoujustsaid,I’vealreadythoughtabout.That’swhyI’mgonnaputthemtentoesup.Wedon’tneednobodypokingaroundthatthingthatwetookcareof,”Graysonsaid.
“Howmuchdidtheprospectknowaboutourarrangement?”thevoiceasked.Graysonrelishedthehintoffearinthevoicewhenitaskedthatquestion.
“Don’tgetyourpantiesinabunch.Heain’tknowshit.”
“Good.Becauseyouknowheisn’tcomingback,right?Iknowmenlikethis.I’veseenthousandsofthemovertheyears.Theycan’tresisttheirtruenature.Iftheytookhimoutofthathouse,thatwasthelastsunsetheeversaw,”thevoicesaid.Graysonhadfiguredasmuchhimself,buthearingitfromthatsoft-talkingmotherfuckermadehimnearlygoblindwithfury.HeknewAndywasn’tonthissideofthedirtanymore.Hedidn’tneedthisarrogantassholetoexplainthattohim.
“Nowlet’sextrapolatethisevenfurther.Let’sassumeyourprospectdidgivethemsomething.Maybesomethingabouttheclub.Maybetheyaskedhimaboutthedeathsoftheirsons.”
“Shit,”Graysonwhispered.
“Whatisit?”thevoicesaid.
“Itoldthemthenameofthegirlwewaslookingfor,”Graysonsaid.Hisneckandearsbecamehotasagriddle.Hecouldalmosthearthesmileontheotherendoftheline.Thepoordumbbikerhadfuckedup,anditwasuptothesophisticated,intelligentownerofasmoothurbanevoicetofixthesituation.Again.
“That’sactuallytoouradvantage.Iftheyhavethenameandtheyarepursuingtheirownshabbymissionofrevenge,onejusthastofollowthemandseewheretheyleadus.Iftheyhavehername,theymayverywellfindher.Ofcourse,ifyouhadn’tgonetotheman’splaceofbusinessandtriedandfailedtothreatenhim,wewouldhavetheelementofsurprise.Ohwell.GetafewofyourbestmentofollowthisRandolph.ThenwhentheyleadyoutoTangerineyoucantakeoutallyourpent-upaggressiononallofthematyourleisure.It’stheproverbialtwobirdswithonestone.Untilthen,letthembe.Justobserveandreport,”thevoicesaid.Graysontappedthegavelharder.
“I’mgonnasaysomethingtoyouandIwantyoutolistentomegood.Youdon’trunthisclub.Ido.Youthinkwe’reyourpersonalarmy.Weain’t.Thisishowit’sgonnago.Weplayyourgameforalittlebit,butifitdon’tlooklikewegonnafindthisbitch,I’mtakingcareofmybusiness.Myway.Nomoretalking.Youwannacutusloose,doit.Idon’tgiveafuck.YoucantellyourdaddyIsaidthat,too.Idon’twakeupinthemorninglookingtokissyourass,”Graysonsaid.
“No,youdon’t.ButyoudowakeupinaworldwhereIcanmakeonephonecalltotheATFandhaveyoubehindbarsfortherestofyourlifebeforemycoffeeiscold.Icanevencallinafewfavorswithmyfriendsinthecorrectionsdepartmenttomakesureyouspendthattimebeingtheparamourofamonstrouslyendowedsubhuman.”Thevoicepaused.BetweenthebeginningandtheendofthatpauseGraysonhadanimageofhimshovingthegaveldownthethroatoftheownerofthatsophisticatedvoice.
“I’lllookupthisRandolph’sbusinesslicenseandgetyouhishomeaddress,”thevoicesaid.
“Yeah,”Graysonsaidinastrangledgroan.
“Getacoupleofyourguysonhim.Tonight.”
TWENTY-FOUR
BuddyLeeturnedoffGraceStreetandpulledintoapay-by-the-hourparkinglot.Thestreetlampswerecoveredbyswarmsofmothsandgnatsthathoveredaroundthemlikelivingclouds.Heputthetruckinparkandwaitedforittosettle.Ikewasleaningagainstthedoorwithhisfacetowardthewindow.Whenthetruckfinallystoppedrattling,Ikesatupstraightandrubbedhiseyes.
“Yousleepingoverthere,hoss?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Didn’tgetmuchrestlastnight.Iguessyougotanaptoday,”Ikesaid.
“Icaughtafewwinks,”BuddyLeesaid.Theysatthereunderthestreetlampsasacardrovedownthestreetwithasoundsystempumpingoutenoughbasstoliquefytheirinsides.Theyheardthedisjointedchatterofthedenizensofthecityastheywanderedupanddownthesidewalksandthroughthealleyways.Ikethoughtitsoundedliketheywereunderwaterlisteningtopeopleontheshore.Hepulledthenapkinoutofhispocketandstaredatit.
“Iguessweshouldgettoit,”hesaid.
“What’stheplan?JustgointhereandstartaskingaboutsomegirlnamedTangerine?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Yeah,butleaveyourknifeinthetruck.IfLaPlataandRobbinsareonourasses,weneedtotryandkeepitquietupinhere,”Ikesaid.
“ThatknifehassavedmyassmoretimesthanIcancount.Iain’tleavingitbehind.Besides,I’mnottheonerunningaroundbreakingpeople’sfingerslikewishbones,”BuddyLeesaid.IkecuthimalookbutBuddyLeeignoredit.
“Youready?”Ikeasked.
“Whenthelasttimeyouwasinaclub?”BuddyLeeasked.
“MichaelJacksonwasstillalive,”Ikesaidasheclimbedoutofthetruck.
Garland’ssatatthecornerofGraceandFousheeStreets.Alargepicturewindowwithaneonsignintheshapeofapairofredshoesinthecornerallowedredandgreenlightstospilloutontothepavement.BuddyLeestoppedinfrontoftheentrance,spitonhishands,thenranthemthroughhishair.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Ikeasked.
“Youneverknow.Imightmeetafillywithlowstandardsinhere,”BuddyLeesaid.ThistimeIkedidlaugh.BuddyLeesmiled.Thesmilefalteredafterafewseconds.
“Let’sdoit,”hesaidasheopenedthedoor.
Garland’shadalongoval-shapedbarthatbisectedtheclubrightdownthemiddle.Tablesandboothsfilledtheclubontheleftsideofthebar.Ontherightwereblueandredvelvetloveseatsandbeanbags.Upanddowntheexposedredbrickwallsblack-and-whitepicturesofJudyGarlandinfullWizardofOzregaliacompetedwithcolorphotosofJudyGarlandinearlytwentieth-centurygarbfromMeetMeinSt.Louis.Alargeflat-screentelevisionabovethebarwasplayingJudyGarlandsinging“OvertheRainbow”ontopofatechnobeat.Afewmenweresittingatthebar.WhenIkeandBuddyLeecamein,twoBlackmensittingatthebottomoftheovalsnappedtheirheadsup,appraisedthem,thenquicklyloweredtheirheadsagain.Totheirright,threewomen—twoBlack,onewhite—weresqueezedintooneoftheloveseats.IkeandBuddyLeeploppeddownonacoupleofstoolsattheendofthebar.
Iketookaquicklookovereachshoulderandscannedthebar.Agroupofclean-cutolderwhitemensatinoneoftheboothswithatrayofshotglassesinfrontofthem.Theyraisedtheirglassesandoneofthemenyelledoutatoast.
“Cheers,queers!”themansaidasheandhiscompanionsdownedtheirshots.Theycollapsedagainsteachotheramidachorusoflaughs.Ikeputhisheadonaswivel.Twomoreyoungwhitemenwereholdinghandsatoneofthetablesbehindhim.Thethreewomenintheloveseatwererunningtheirhandsthrougheachother’shair.
Ikegrippedtheedgeofthebar.
“Ithinkthisisagaybar,”hewhispered.
“What?”BuddyLeeasked.Hewassquintingattheshelfofliquorbottleslikeapenitentwhohadjustglimpsedheaven.IkeleanedoverandputhismouthnearBuddyLee’sear.
“Ithinkthisisagaybar,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeespunaroundonhisbarstool.AfteronecompleterevolutionhestoppedandleanedtowardIke.
“Well,shit,Iguessthatmakessense.Iain’tneverbeeninagaybarbefore.Butitlooksliketheyservebourbon,soIguessit’llbealright,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Let’sjustaskthebartenderifheknowsTangerineortheboys,”Ikesaid.Hisbreathwascominginshortharshbursts.
“Alright.Youokay?Youbreathinglikeyourunninguphillbackward,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’mfine.Let’sjustdoit,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeehelduptwofingersandwavedatthebartender.Afterdroppingoffapairofmartinistothetwobrothersattheendofthebar,hecameovertoIkeandBuddyLee.HewasashortAsianmanwithlongcoal-blackhairthatspilledoverhiswell-definedshoulders.IkethoughthiswhiteT-shirtwasthreesizestoosmall.
“Hey,gents,whatcanIdoyafor?”thebartenderasked.
“I’llhaveaCoorsandashotofJackDaniel’s,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Ijustwantawater,”Ikesaid.
“Gotcha.Youguysneedanymenus?”
“No,”IkesaidbeforeBuddyLeecouldrespond.Afewminuteslater,thebartender,whotoldthemhisnamewasTex,broughtthemtheirdrinks.
“Anythingelseforyouguys?”Texaskedwithasmile.BuddyLeegaveIkeacurtnodashedownedhiswhiskey.
“Yeah.Letmeaskyousomething.DidyouknowsomeguysnamedIsiahandDerek?Ithinktheymight’vehungoutherefromtimetotime,”Ikesaid.Tex’ssmilefalteredabit.
“Yeah,Iknewthem.Theyweregoodguys.TheyusedtocomeoutforourBlacklightNight.DerekusedtomakeuspierogiesforourmonthlyPaintNight.Isiahwroteanarticleaboutusforhiswebsite.Theywerereallygoodguys.Ican’tbelievewhathappenedtothem.It’sbullshit,man,”Texsaid.Ikefeltalumpriseinhisthroatlikeawhalebreaching.
“Yeah,itwasbullshit,”Ikesaid.
“Wereyouguysfriendsoftheirsorsomething?”Texasked.
“Theywasoursons,”BuddyLeesaid.Hetookalongswigoffofhisbeer.
“Aw,man.I’msorry.I’msosorry,dudes.”
“Thanks,”Ikesaid.
TexpulledawhiteragoutofhispocketandwipedthebardowninfrontofIkeandBuddyLee.Oneofthethreewomenfromtheloveseatsquealedwithpleasureorsurprise.Orboth.
“Igottaask,whatareyouguysdoinghere?Isiahusedtosay…”Texcuthimselfoff.
“WhatdidIsiahusedtosay?”Ikesaid,knowingfullwellwhathissonprobablysaid.
“Nothing.It’snothing.Ijustwaswonderingwhyyouguyswerehere,that’sall.”
“Wetryingtofindsomebodywhomightknowsomethingaboutwhathappenedtothem,”BuddyLeesaid.Hekilledhisbeer.
“Arey’alllike,investigating?”Texasked.
“Wejustaskingquestions.Thecopssaidtheywasn’tgettingnowhere.Wejustwanttofindoutwhathappenedtoourboys,that’sall.Weain’ttryingtocausenobodynotrouble,”Ikesaid.Thatwaspartiallythetruth.Hedidn’twanttocauseanyoneanytrouble.Hejustwantedtofindthemotherfuckerswhokilledhisson.Allofthem.Everylastone.
“Yeah,theycamebyhere.Idon’tthinkit’slikepeopledon’twanttohelp.It’slike,thecopscomearoundhereandpeoplegetnervous.Lotsoffolksherestillonthedown-low.Theydon’twanttogettheirnamestiedupinamurdercase.Don’tgetmewrong,Richmond’saprettygoodplacetoliveifyou’regayorqueerorwhatever,butit’sstillVirginia.ThesamepeoplewholovethosestatuesonMonumentAvenuewouldn’thaveaproblemtyingsomeofmycustomerstoafence,yafeelme?”Texsaid.
“So,you’resayingIsiahandDerek’sfriendsareabunchofchickenshits,”BuddyLeesaid.Texshookhishead.
“Youdon’tgetit,man.Thingsarebetterthesedaysifyou’regay,buttheyain’tgreat.Yougetoutedandyoumightfindoutyousuddenlyhaveviolatedyourcompany’srulesonparkingprivileges,sotheyfireyou.Imean,it’slikebeingBlackorAsianorHispanichereintheOldDominion.Thingsarebetterbut—”
Ikeletoutagrunt.
“Isaysomethingwrong?”Texasked.
“Beinggayain’tnothinglikebeingBlack,”Ikesaid.Thewordscameoutslowanddeliberate.Texfurrowedhisbrow.
“I’mjustsayingwestillintheSouth.Unlessyoustraightandwhiteyougottawatchyourback,”hesaid.HeturnedhisheadtowardBuddyLee.
“Nooffense,”hesaid.
“Nonetaken,Iguess.IjustneverknewIhaditsogoodbeingstraightandwhite,”BuddyLeesaid.Hetriedtomakeitcomeoutlighthearted,butthetruthinthestatementanchoredittotheground.TexglancedatIke,butwhateverheexpectedtoseewasabsent.
“Youknowanythingaboutwhathappenedtoourboys?Dideitheroneofthemsayanythingaboutsomebodythreateningthemoranythinglikethat?”Ikeasked.
“Neitheroneofthemeversaidanythinglikethat,”Texsaid.HegrabbedBuddyLee’semptybottleandheadedforthetrashcanunderthebar.
“Hey,youknowagirlnamedTangerine?”BuddyLeeasked.Texstopped.
“Sheusedtohangaroundhereawhileback.Shecomesandgoes,yaknow.”
“Youeverseeherwiththeboys?”Ikeasked.Texglaredathimforasecond.
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Imeanwithourboys.”
“Oh.No,neverdid.LikeIsaid,shefloatsinandout.She’sapartygirl.”
“Ohyeah?Howharddosheparty?”BuddyLeeasked.NowitwashisturntogetahardlookfromTex.
“You’dhavetoaskherthat,”Texsaid.
“I’dliketo.Youknowwherewecanfindher?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Ijusttoldyoushefloatsinandout.”
“Anybodyaroundheremightknowher?”Ikeasked.
“Iguessyouhavetoaskthem,”Texsaid.Ikeleanedforwardoverthebar.Hestuckhischestoutandcockedhisheadtotheright.
“Hey,wegotaproblem?”Ikeasked.Texpushedhistongueagainsttheinsideofhischeek.
“Yaknow,Ihaveafriendwhocomesinheresometimes.He’salawyer.He’saboutyourage.He’sgay,Black,andcoolasfuck.Youknowwhathetoldmeonce?HesaidsomeBlackpeoplehategaypeoplemorethantheyhateracists.HetoldmegrowingupBlackandgayinasmalltownoutinthecountrywaslikebeingtrappedbetweenalionandanalligator.RednecksononesideandhomophobicBlackfolkontheother.Hesaidtheonlywayyoudon’tgetfuckedwithgrowingupBlackandgaywasifyoucoulddohairorleadachoir.Hecouldn’tdoneithersohegotoutoftown.Ididn’treallybelievehim.Icouldn’tbelieveitwasthatbad.Buteverydayaguylikeyouproveshimright,”Texsaid.
“Oh,soyouthinkit’seasierbeingBlackthanbeinggay?Itellyouwhat,yougosomewheredon’tnobodyhavetoknowyougayunlessyoutellthem.I’mBlackeverywhere.Ican’thidethatshit,”Ikesaid.Texpulledhistoweloutandtwisteditwithbothhands.
“Yeah,youcan’thidethatyou’reBlack.ButthefactthatyouthinkIshouldhidewhoIamprovesmypoint.LikeDr.Kingsaid:aninjusticeanywhereisathreattojusticeeverywhere,”Texsaid.Ikesuckedhisteethandsatbackontohisstool.
“Youguysletmeknowifyouwantanythingelse,”Texsaid.Heturnedandwalkedtotheotherendofthebar.
“Damn,hedroppedtheMartinLutherKingcardonyourass.Ithinkhewonthatround,Grasshopper,”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikedidn’trespond.
“I’mfuckingaround.Idon’tthinkheknowsshit.ButIbetyousomeofthesefolksdo,”BuddyLeesaidashegesturedtothepatronsscatteredaroundthebar.
“Uh-huh,”Ikesaid.Hegrabbedhiswaterandchuggeditdowninonebiggulp.Heslammedhisemptyglassdownonthebar.
Ikefeltlikeavisewassqueezinghisribcage.Thetwoyoungwhitemenwhohadbeenholdinghandswerenowdancinginslowlanguidcircleswiththeirarmsdrapedaroundeachother’sneck.Oneofthebrothersattheendofthebarwasstrokinghisfriend’scheek.Theyhadmadetheirmartinisdisappearlikeamagictrick.Thethreewomenontheloveseatwereplayfullypullingateachother’shair.
“Thinkweshouldsplitup?Maybewe’llbelessintimidatingthatway,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah,Iguess.Wecanworklikewhenyouintheyardtryingtopickgrapes,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeechuckled.
“Iain’theardthatinawhile.Weusedtocallit‘gettingponyexpress’upinRedOnion.Idon’tknowwhywejustdidn’tcallitgossip.”
“Ineedtostoptalkinglikeaconvict.Ifallbackintothatshittoodamneasy,”Ikesaid.
“IstillhavenightmaresaboutRedOnion.IbedreamingI’mstillinside.I’mout,butI’veneverstoppedfeelinglikeaconvict,”BuddyLeesaid.
“IheardRedOnionisadungeon,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeegazedlovinglyatthebottleofJackDaniel’ssittingbyitselflikeanexaltedkingontheglassshelf.“Itisthat.It’dmakethedevilfindreligion,”hesaid.HegotTex’sattentionandpantomimedtakingashot.Texdroppedoffhisshotwithoutaword.BuddyLeedowneditinonegulp.
“Hey,what’dIsayaboutdrinking?”Ikeasked.
“Igotit,okay?I’lltakethegirlsonthecouch.Youwannastartonthisside?”BuddyLeesaid.Hisfacebecameflushedasthewhiskeyhitthebottomofhisstomach.
“Goahead,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeslidoffthestoolandmadefortheloveseatsandbeanbagsectionofthebar.Iketookadeepbreath.Hespunaroundonthestoolandtookstockoftheroom.Hehadachoicebetweenthebrothersattheendofthebar,thetwomenstillslow-dancing,ortheclean-cutolderguysinthebooth.Usingapurelydemographicequation,hedecidedtohitthebrothersfirst
“Hey,excuseme,”Ikesaid.ThelargerofthetwowasaboutIke’ssizewithaluxuriantbeardthatcoveredmostofhisface.HetookhisattentionawayfromhiscompanionjustlongenoughforIketoseetheirritationinhisface.
“Yes?”
“Hey,um…I’mlookingforthisgirl—”
“Ithinkyouinthewrongplace,”thebeardedman’scompanionsaid.Hewasclean-shavenwithatightfade.
“Nah,it’snotlikethat,”Ikesaid.
“Whatcanwedoforyou?”thebeardedmanasked.Ikecouldseehewasgoingfromirritatedtoangry.Ikeforcedhimselftocalmdownandspeakclearly.
“I’mlookingforagirlnamedTangerine.Sheusedtohangoutheresometimes.Ithinksheafriendofmyson’s.Ijustwanttotalktoher.”
“Aboutwhat?”Fadeasked.
“What?”
“Whatdoyouwanttotalktoherabout?Areyousomeex-boyfriendtryingtotrackherdown?”Fadeasked.
“Huh?No,Ineedtotalktoheraboutmyson,”Ikesaid.
“Isyoursonherex?”BeardedManasked.
“Look,mysonisfuckingdeadandshemightbeabletohelpmefindoutwhokilledhim.Nowcanwecuttheshit?Doyouknowherornot?”Ikesaid.BeardedManandMini-Afrospunaroundontheirstoolsuntilallhesawwasthebackoftheirheads.
“Wedon’tknowher,man,”BeardedMansaid.Heandhiscompanionturnedtheirbacksonhim.Iketookadeepbreathsoviolentlyhisnoseburned.
Ikefeltlikehewasrootedtothefloor.Hisskinwastinglingalloverlikehehadsteppedonalivewire.Therealestatebetweenhimandthetwomenseemedtofillwithdangerouslychargedenergy.Theyhadturnedtheirbacksonhim.Insidethatwasasignofdisrespectsoegregiousitmightgetyousenttothefarmjustongeneralprinciples.Ike’srighthandwasafistbeforeherealizedhehadcurledhisfingers.Hestareddownatit,andthroughasheerforceofwillhemadehimselfunfurlhisfist.Hehadtobesmart.Hedidn’tneedthecopsthrowinghiminadeepdarkhole.Atleastnotuntilhefinishedthis.
“Thanks.”Ikechokedthewordoutandwalkedaway.Thetwowhitemenslow-dancingweregone.Theymusthaveslippedoutwhilehewasinterrogatingthebrothers.Thatlefttheguysinthebooth.Theywerelaughingoveranotherroundofshots.Ikewalkedoverandstoodnexttothebooth.
“Hey,howyaguysdoing?”Ikeasked.Hetriedtolookfriendly.
“Heythere,”oneofthemensaid.Theothermenstoppedlaughingbutkeptsmiling.
“Hey,I’mIkeRandolph.MysonwasIsiahRandolph,”Ikesaid.Allthesmilesfaltered.
“Ohmy.I’msorry.I’mJeff,”themanclosesttoIkesaid.Heheldouthishand.Ikeshookitandwassurprisedbyitsfirmness.
“I’mRalph.”
“I’mSal.”
“Chris.”
Ikenoddedtotheotherthreemen.
Theydon’tlookgay,Ikethought.AssoonastheideaenteredhisheaditseemedlikehecouldhearIsiah’svoice.Howexactlydidsomeonelookgay?Didheexpectthemtohavetattooscarvedintotheirforeheadsthatdeclaredtheirsexuality?
“IguessyouguysknewIsiah?”Ikeasked.
“HeandDerekwereregularshere.Hedidanarticleonmyorganization.DerekusedtoworkforChrisathisrestaurant,”Jeffsaid.
“Smallworld,ain’tit?”Ikesaid.
“Theworldismadeupofabunchofsmallerworlds,”Jeffsaid.
“What’syourorganization?”Ikeasked.
“IrunanonprofittechnicalschoolintheEastEndforat-riskgayyouth.Weteachthemindustrialarts.I’mawelderbytradeandawannabeartist,”Jeffsaid.
“You’rebeingtoomodest,”Ralphsaid.HeputhishandontopofJeff’s.IkestudiedthepictureofJudyGarlandatananonymouscabaretclub.Herdeep-seteyesandcome-hitherpoutwerefrozenforeverinblack-and-white.
“That’sgood.Yougetalotofkidsoutthere?”Ikeasked.ThefourmensharedalongmomentofsilencebeforeJeffspoke.
“Lotsofkidsenduponthestreetswhentheycomeout.Notallofthem,butalot.Theyshowupwithblackeyesandmissingteeth.Thereareparentswhothinktheycanbeatthegayaway.Ortheyshowupcryingandterrifiedbecausetheirmomordadortheirpastortoldthemtheyweregoingtoburninhellforeternity,”Jeffsaid.Ikestudiedhisboots.Hewasoneofthoseparents.Hedefinitelythoughthecould“manup”thegayoutofIsiah.Mightaswelltriedtomakehimabirdandtossedhimofftheroof.Isiahwasn’tgoingtoeverchange.Hewaswhathewasuntilthedayhedied.
“Andnowhe’sintheground,”Ikemumbled.
“I’msorry,what?”Jeffasked.
“Um,nothing.Iwasjustsayingthat’sfuckedup,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,itis,”Jeffsaid.
“MeandDerek’sdad,wewerejustaskingaround,tryingtoseeifanyoneknewanythingaboutwhathappened.We’renottryingtoputanybodyinaspot.Wejustwannafindoutwhathappenedtoourboys,”Ikesaid.Couldthesemenhearthedesperationinhisvoice?Hehearditanditmadehimfeelfrail.FindingoutwhohadkilledIsiahandDerekwastheliferaftthatheclungtoinavainattempttokeepfromfallingapart.Itwasbarelyworking.Theraggededgesofhismindmightunravelatanymoment,andGodhelpwhoeverwasaroundwhenthathappened.
“I’msorry,Idon’tthinkanyofusknowanythingthatcanhelp.Iwishwecould,”Jeffsaid.
“Theyweresuchahappycouple,”Salsaid.
“TheyhadwhatI’mlookingfor,”Chrissaid.
“You’vegottostopbeingahoifyouwantahusband,”Ralphsaid.Chrisstuckhistongueoutathimandrolledhiseyes.
“Ah,didanyofyouknowawomanbythenameofTangerine?”Ikeasked.Jeff’srightcheektwitched.
That’satell,Ikethought.
“Iknewagirlbythatnameonce,”Jeffsaid.Ikethoughthewaschoosinghiswordscarefully.Hiseyesdartedfromlefttoright,andthatcheekwasnearlyoscillatingnow.
“Ohyeah?Didsheevercomebytheschool?”Ikeasked.
“Sheusedtocrashtherealot,”Ralphoffered.JeffmovedhishandfromunderRalph’s,thenputhishandonRalph’sforearm.Aquietgesture,butIkereaditasanadmonishment.
“Tangerinedidn’t,uh…taketotheindustrialarts.She’safreespirit,”Jeffsaid.
“That’sonewordforit,”Chrissaid.Salelbowedhim.
“What?I’mjustsayingwhatwe’reallthinking,”Chrissaid.
“She’sapartygirl?”Ikeasked.Jeff’sshouldersslumped.
“Tangerinecanbeabitofadiva,that’sall,”Jeffsaid.AnideapoppedupinIke’smind.
“WeheardshemetDerekatabigfancypartyforamusicguy,”Ikesaid.
“Thatgirlain’tneverseenascenethatshedidn’twanttobeseenat,”Chrissaid.JefffrownedathimbutChrisdidn’tseemtonotice,orifhedid,hedidn’tcare.
“AreyoutalkingaboutMr.GetDown’sparty?”Ralphasked.
“Idon’tknow.Who’sMr.GetDown?”Ikeasked.
“He’saproducer.RealnameisTariqMatthews.Mainlyhip-hopandtrance.HelivesoutintheWestEnd.Hugehousewithgod-awfulflyingbuttresseslikesomethingoutofaJamesWhalemovie,”Ralphsaid.Hepaused,apparentlyhopingforalaugh.
“God,amIthatoldthatI’mtheonlyonewhoknowswhoJamesWhaleis?Anyway,Tariqisahometownhero.Itaughthimintheninthgrade.Theyearafterhegraduatedheproducedarecordthatwenttonumberoneinfifteencountries.DerekwasinhereaweekbeforethepartytalkingabouthowhiscompanywasgonnadothefoodforMr.GetDown’sthirtieth.God,Ireallyamold,”Ralphsaid.HelaidhisheadonJeff’sshoulder.
“Isthatherkindofscene?”Ikeasked.ChrisstartedtoanswerbutJeffcuthimoff.
“Here’sthething.Tangyis…acomplicatedgirl.She’syoungandbeautifulandshe’sfindingherself.Thatkindofbeautyandyouthcangetyousomehaters,”Jeffsaid,staringsquarelyatChris.
“Tangerineisn’tevenherrealname,”Chrissaid.Ralphjumpedintotheconversation.
“Don’tbebitchy,Chris,”Ralphsaid.Chriscrossedhisarms.
“Gotanyideawhereshemightbe?”Ikeasked.
“YouthinkTangyisinvolvedwithwhathappenedtoIsiahandDerek?”Jeffasked.Ikehesitated.
“Isiahwassupposedtomeetherhereforaninterview.Thedaybeforethemeet,himandDerekgotshotinfrontofthatwinebarcelebratingtheiranniversary,”Ikesaid.SayingoutloudthathisboyhadbeenshotmadethesharpedgesofIke’sheartgrateagainsteachother.
“Tangy’sbeengonesincebeforethathappened.Shemightbeanywhere,”Jeffsaid.Asifoncue,hisrightcheekbegantotwitch.Ikegavehimthehardeyes.Thescaryeyes.Themurdereyes.
Jeffseemedtobeareallyniceguy.Hededicatedhislifetohelpinggaykids.Hehadanicegroupoffriends.NoneofthatstoppedhimfromlyingtoIke’sface.JeffknewexactlywhereTangerinewasandhowtofindher.Ikecouldfeelitinhisguts.
Tangerinewasthewomanwhosoundedsoafraidonthatansweringmachine.WassheafraidbecausesheknewIsiahhadahitonhim?Didshesethimup?Ikedidn’tknow.AllhereallyknewwasthatniceguyJeffwassittingherelyingtohimlikehewasbigdumbblack-asscountrysonofabitch.Jeffwithhisfrostedgraytipsanddeliberatelygroomedfive-o’clockshadow.NiceguyJeff,whocaredmoreaboutprotectingsomepartygirlthanhecaredaboutIke’sdeadson,hadacaseofthecity-mousesyndrome.AlotoffolksthatlivedinRichmondlikedtoimaginetheyweresmarterandmoresophisticatedthanthepeoplethatlivedinthecounties.EvenifmostofthecountieswereonlythirtymilespastthehugeilluminatedRICHMONDsignthatsatabovetheexitthattookyououtofthecity.
Ikewonderedhowlongitwouldtaketogetthetruthoutofhimifhejammedhisthumbintohiseyeandpoppeditlikehard-boiledegg.
Jeffblinkedhard.PerhapshesawsomethinginIke’sfacethattoldhimhiseyeballwasindangerofendinguponGarland’shardwoodfloor.
“Seriously,Idon’tknowwheresheis.But…”Jeffsaid.
“Butwhat?”Ikeasked,stillgivingJeffthedeathstare.
“Ifshewasatthatparty,itprobablywasn’therfirsttimehangingoutwithMr.GetDown.Hemightknowwheresheis.That’sallI’msaying,”Jeffsaid.“TheManThatGotAway”startedpumpingthroughGarland’ssoundsystemoveratrip-hopbeat.Ikerelaxed.
“Thanks,”hesaid.Heturnedandwentbacktothebar.
“CanIhaveanotherwater?Andletmesettleupformeandmyfriend,”Ikesaid.TexcameoverandtossedareceiptandapeninfrontofIke.HadhereallycalledBuddyLeehisfriend?Hedidn’tknowifthatwasanaccuratedescriptionofwhattheywere.They’dkilledamantogether,sotheyweremorethanacquaintances,buthedidn’tthinktheywerequitefriends.Ikesignedthereceipt,leavingasizabletip,andwrappeditaroundhisdebitcard.AtallthinBlackmanstumbleduptothebarnexttohim.Themanstrokedhisbushygraygoateeashestruggledtostraddlethebarstool.
“Hey,”GrayGoateesaid.
“Hey,”Ikesaidwithoutturninghishead.
“Howyoudoing?”GrayGoateeslurred.
“I’malright,man,”Ikesaid.HesearchedforTexbuthewastakingalargedrinkorderfromagroupofblue-,pink-,andgreen-hairedandrogynouswhitekidsthathadjustwanderedintothebar.
“Alltheselittleyoungbucksupinhere.Toodamnyoung,toodamncrazy,”GrayGoateesaid.Hiswordsfelloutofhismouthlikemarblesrollingofftheedgeofatable.
“Uh-huh.”Ikesaid.
“I’mAngelo,”themanwiththegraygoateesaid.Ikedidn’trespond.Heputhishandsinhispocketsandrockedbackandforthontheballsofhisfeet.
“Theyfun,butwhat’sthepoint?Acouplehoursofgroaningandmoaningforwhat?Sotheycanjustleaveinthemorningafterpissingalloveryourtoiletseat,”Angelosaid.Helistedtohisleftbeforegrabbingtherailontheedgeofthebarandrightinghimself.Iketookasteptotherightawayfromhim.
“Youwithsomebody?”Angeloasked.
“I’mjustpayingmytab,man,”Ikesaid.Hespokethroughpursedlips,turningthesentenceintoonelongword.
“Sure,sure,youprobablywithsomebody.Youtoofinenottobe,”Angelosaid.
“HeyTex!Getmytab,man!”Ikeyelled.
“Yougoing?Heywait,letmebuyyouadrink.Don’tgoyet.Letmegetyouadrink,”Angelosaid.HereachedoutandputhishandonIke’sforearm.
“Getyourfuckinghandsoffme,man,”Ikesaid.Thetwobrothersattheotherendofthebarpickeduptheirdrinksandmovedtothebeanbags.ThethunderinIke’svoicepromisedastormthattheywantednopartofatall.Angelo’sradardidn’tseemtobeattunedtothechangingweather.
“Heynow,don’tbelikethat.Ijustwanttogettoknowyou,”heslurred.HemovedhishandupIke’sarmtowardhiscoconut-sizedbiceps.
“Itoldyou,getthefuckoffme!”IkesnatchedAngelobythefrontofhisshirt.ThebarstoolwentskitteringacrossthefloorasIkeslammedAngeloagainstthefarwall.ApictureofJudyGarlandinatophatandtailsfellfromthewall.ItbouncedoffIke’sheadbuthehardlynoticed.Angelo’seyesrolledaroundintheirsocketsasIkecinchedinhisgripandliftedhimoffhisfeet.
“I’msorry!”Angelosaidoverandover.
Ikepulledhimoffthewallonlytoslamhimagainstitagaintwiceashard.AngelotriedtopryIke’shandsfromaroundhisneck,buthemightaswellhavebeentryingtountietheGordianknot.
“Itoldyou,don’tfuckingtouchme!”Ikeyelled.HeheldAngeloinplacewithhislefthandwhilecockingbackhisright.Thegroupofemokidsthathadjustenteredthebarpulledouttheircellphonesandstartedyellingathimastheybeganrecordingtheconfrontation.
Secondsbeforeheunloadedhishammerofaright,hefeltstronghandsgrippinghisshouldersandpowerfularmswrappingaroundhiswaist.Ikefelthimselfbeingpulledoffbalance.HeletgoofAngeloandpawedathisattackers.
“Fuckoffofme!”Ikegrunted.Hefelthimselfbeingpushedbackward.Hewasbeingherdedtowardthedoorlikearampagingbull.Athirdsetofhandshadjoinedthefray.ItwasChris.
Texholleredathimtobackoff,buthemightaswellhavebeentryingtosootheaswarmofhornets.Chris’sfacewasastormofferocity.WereheandAngelofriends?Washedefendingtheman’shonor?Orwashejustrighteouslypissed?IkehadcomeintoaplacewhereChrisandhisfriendsfeltcompletelyateaseandaskedfortheirhelp.TheyhadgivenhimaglimpseintothemanthatIsiahhadbecome.AgoodmanthatIkehadlittlehandincreating.Howhadherepaidtheirkindness?He’djackedupalonelydrunk.IkesawBuddyLeerunningtowardhimoutofthecornerofhiseye.BuddyLeegaveChrisashoveandgotbetweenhimandIke.
“Whatthefuck,man?”BuddyLeecried.
Ikestoppedfighting.
“I’mgoing,okay?!I’mgoing.BuddyLee,getmydebitcard,man,”Ikesaid.Texreleasedhim.Anotherman,abrotherinamatchingwhitetoo-tightT-shirt,washoldingChrisatbayashetriedtogettoBuddyLee.TexgrabbedIke’scardfrombehindthebarandslappeditintohishands.
“GetthehelloutofherebeforeIcallthecops,”hesaid.
“Ithoughtyousaidyoudidn’tlikecops,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Getthefuckout!”Texsaid.
“Comeon,hoss,let’sgobeforeJohnnyLawgetshere,”BuddyLeesaid.Hetookafewstepsbackwardbeforespinningonhisheelandheadingforthedoor.Afewpeoplebooedastheywalkedby.IkesawJeffgazingathimfromacrossthebar.
“I’msorry,”Ikemumbled.Heknewhiswordswouldn’tbeheardoverthecommotioninthebar,buthestillwantedtosaythem.
Jeffshookhisheadandlookedaway.
Afterforty-fiveminutesofsilenceontheinterstate,BuddyLeepulledintoIke’sdrivewayandputthetruckinpark.Theenginecoughedandgaspedasthetruckidled.Ikereachedforthedoorhandle.
“Whatwasallthatabout?Atthebar?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikeopenedthedoor.AwarmbreezeslippedpastIkeintothetruck.Afewerrantstrawwrappersandemptychewing-gumsleevesstirredaroundBuddyLee’sfeet.
“Itoldhimdon’ttouchme.Hetouchedme,”Ikesaid.
“Okay,”BuddyLeesaid.Hisvoicehadalightliltattheendofthestatement
“Whatisthatsupposedtomean?”Ikeasked.
“Nothing.JustIwaswatchingyouwhileIwastalkingtothemladies.Lookedlikehejusttouchedyourarm.”
“Whatdifferencedoitmake?Youtellsomebodynottotouchyou,theyain’tsupposedtotouchyou.Ifwewasinsideandhedidthathe’dendupstaringupatthelightsbleedinglikeastuckpig,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeflexedhisfingers.Ikelookedoutthewindow.Hisshoulderssliddowneversoslightly.
Butweain’tinside,arewe?Ikethought.TheideawashisbuthehearditinIsiah’svoice.BuddyLeedrummedhisfingersonthesteeringwheel.
“Didheaskyouforyournumber?”
“Leaveitalone,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeemadeanoisehalfwaybetweenalaughandasigh.
“Alright.DidyoufindoutanythingaboutTangerinebeforeyousnatchedupSamuelL.Jackson,Sr.?”BuddyLeeasked.IkeshiftedinhisseatsohecouldlookBuddyLeeintheface.
“Yeah.ShemightbehangingoutwithamusicproducerwhocallshimselfMr.GetDown,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeelaughed.
“Iknowthatain’tonhisdriver’slicense.Well,whenwegoingtotalktoMr.GetDown?”BuddyLeeasked.
“I’llcallyoutomorrow.Ineedsomesleep,”Ikesaid.
“Okay.Yousureyoudon’twanttotalkabout—”
“IsaidIneedsomesleep,”Ikesaid.Heclimbedoutofthetruckandslammedthedoor.
“Yeah,youneedahugandanap,yabigbaby,”BuddyLeesaidinabarelyaudiblevoice.Hebackedoutofthedriveway,thenturnedleftandheadedoutofthecul-de-sac.Hedidarollingstopattheendoftheroadandturnedright.Humming,heturnedontheradioandanoldclassicbyWaylonJenningscamewarblingoutofthetruck’sspeakers.BuddyLeesangalongashepassedanabandonedbait-and-tackleshoponRoute634.Hedidn’tpayanyattentiontotheoldChevroletCapriceinthedesiccatedparkinglot.Secondslatertwoheadspoppedupinthefrontseat.
“Youthinkhesawus?”Cheddarasked.
“Nah.Toodark.LetmecallGrayson,”Domesaid.Hepulledouthiscell.
“Yeah,”Graysonanswered.
“ThewhiteguyjustdroppedtheBlackguyoff.Whatyouwantustodonow?”Domeasked.
“Staythere.Seewherehegoesinthemorning,”Graysonsaid.
“Youwantustostayhereallnight?It’slikealittlebitaftereleven,”Domesaid.
“DidIfuckingstutter?Weneedtofindthisgirl.Likeyesterday,andhegonnaleadusrighttoher,”Graysonsaid.Domedidn’trespond.
“What?Yougotaproblemwiththat?”Graysonsaid.
“Nah,butwhataboutAndy?”
“That’sallgonnagethandledwhenwefindthiscunt,”Graysonsaid.“AndDome.”
“Yeah.”
“Don’tlethimgetbyyouory’allgonnahavetobedealtwith,too,”Graysonsaid.
Hehungupthephone.
TWENTY-FIVE
Ikeknewhewasdreaming.
Itwasadreamthatdancedatthecornersofhisremembrance.IsiahisstandingnexttohiminthebackyardasIkemansthegrill.It’sthecookoutafterIsiah’sgraduationfromcollege.FolksfrombothsidesofMyaandIke’sfamilyarethere.FriendsfromMya’sjob.AfewfriendsIkehasmadesincehegotoutofprison.Mostlyotherlandscapers.Afewsuppliers.AcoupleofguysfromtheY.Noonefromhisoldcrew,theNorthRiverBoysareinattendance.IsiahistryingtotalktoIke,butIkeisn’tlisteningbecauseheknowswhatIsiahistryingtosayandhedoesn’twanttohear.Heneverwantstohearit.
Derekisthereinthedream,whichisamemoryintechnicolor.Theyareholdinghands.IsiahissayingthatDerekisn’tjusthisfriend.HetellsIkethatDerekisimportanttohim.Ikeisconcentratingontheburgersandhotdogs.Hefocusesontheredglowofthecoals.Theunhurrieddrippingofthegreasefromtheburgersasitfallsandsizzlesonthecharcoal.Anythingtokeephismindoffwhathisonlysonissaying.Whenhesaysit,Ikewatchesasherespondstheonlywayheknowshowtorespond.No,that’snotreallytrue.Herespondsinthewaythat’seasiestforhim.Heflipsthegrill.Coalsflyeverywherelikefieryconfetti.ApiecelandsonIsiah’sarm.Itwillleavealightscarthatresemblesabirthmark.Thescenefadestoblack.
ThenhehearsacavalcadeofscreamsandturnstoseeIsiah’sandDerek’sheadsexplodeinashowerofbloodandbone.
Ikeopenedhiseyes.
Narrowbeamsoflightfromtherisingsunslicedthroughtheslatsontheblindsinthebedroomwindow.Ikesatupandtouchedhisfacewithbothhands.Hischeekswerewet.Mya’ssideofthebedwasempty.ShemusthavegottenupduringthenightandgonetoliewithArianna.Shedidthatfromtimetotimenow.FromtimetotimeIkehadtofighttheurgetobejealousofathree-year-old.Ikeswunghislegsupandoutofbeduntilhisfeethitthecarpet.Hegrabbedhisphoneoffthenightstandandcheckedthetime.Itwastenminutesafterseven.HehadfallenasleepalmostimmediatelyafterBuddyLeehaddroppedhimoffaroundeleven.Afterthebar.Afterjackingthatguyupagainstthewall.Isiahwouldhavehadalottosayaboutthatsituation.
“You’rejustprojectingyourfearsaboutyourownmasculinity,Dad.It’scalledovercompensating.”HecouldalmosthearIsiahsayingitwithhistelltalerazor-sharpsarcasm.
Ikestood.Hedidn’twanttoadmitit,butIsiahwouldhavebeenright.Whenthatguytouchedhim,allhecouldseewerethefacesof…
“Stopit,”Ikesaidoutloud.Hisvoicesoundedhollowintheearlymorningstillnessthatfilledthehouse.IkegrabbedhisT-shirtoffthefloorandpulleditoverhishead.Hewasstillwearinghisjeans.Heslippeddownthestairsandintothekitchen.Heturnedonthecoffeemaker.WhileitbegantorattleandhumhethoughtaboutwhatNiceGuyJeffhadtoldhimlastnight.Mr.GetDown.Tariq.HeandBuddyLeecouldjustgoandfindahousewiththeflyingbuttressesandtrytoblufftheirwayinsidebutIkedidn’tthinkthatwasgoingtowork.Problemwas,hecouldn’tthinkofanythingelsethatwouldwork,either.
Thecoffeemakerwastakingitsownsweettime,soIkedecidedtograbthepaper.ThesunpeekedfrombehindthecloudsasIkesearchedforit.Theretiredgrandmotherwhowastheirpapercarrierhadterribleaim.IkerootedaroundintheboxwoodshrubsnearhisfrontdooruntilhefoundtheSaturdayedition.WhenhestraightenedhesawMya’scarcomingdowntheroad.
Abanana-yellowCapricewasfollowingher.Sheturnedintotheirshortdrivewayandparked.TheCapricekeptongoingdowntheroad.MyaclimbedoutofthecarholdingabigbagfromHardee’s.Hermouthwassetinagrimlinethatagedherbytenyears.Shehurriedtowardthehouse,towardhim.
“Iwenttogetussomebreakfast.Ithink…IthinkthatcarfollowedmetotheHardee’s,thenfollowedmebackhere.Ike,Ithinktheyfollowedme,”shesaid.Hervoicehadabreathlessnessthatmadehisskinbreakoutingooseflesh.
“Goinside.Lockthedoor.GoupstairswithArianna.Don’tcomedownuntilIcomegetyou.”
“Ike,what’sgoingon?”
“Goupstairs,boo,”Ikesaid.Myaclutchedthebagtoherchestandhurriedintothehouse.Ikewentaroundtothebackofthehouse.Hewentintohisshed.Pushingpasttheheavybag,hegrabbedsomethingfromahookandheadedbacktothefrontofthehouse.
Thecul-de-sactheylivedinwasmorelikeasideroad.Itdidn’tendinacircle.Thegravel-coveredroadjuststoppedhalfamilepasthishouse.InadditiontoIkeandMya’sstory-and-a-halfhouse,TownbridgeLanehadfivemorehomesofvarioussizes.WhenheandMyahadfirstmovedhereitwasconsideredthepoorsideofthecounty.Thensomebright-eyeddeveloperhadplacedcheapmodularhomesaroundthem,spreadsomegravelontheirdirtroad,andrechristeneditTownbridgeLane.Neighborscameandwentwithalarmingfrequency.Theybroughtvariouslevelsofcarefortheirfrontyardswiththem.Manicuredlawnssatafewfeetfromfrontyardsfullofchildren’stoysandcarparts.
Ikecroucheddown,hidingamonghisshrubs.ThatCapricewasonitswaytoadeadend.They’dhavetostop,turnaround,andcomeback.Ikegrippedthehandleofabushaxewithbothhands.Thebushaxewasanold,time-honoredfarmtool.Inthedaysbeforestringtrimmersandbrush-cuttingbladeattachments,thebushaxewasusedtoclearweedsandbrushfromdifficult-to-accessareas,likeaditchbankorarollingslopinghillside.Thetoolconsistedofalongflatwoodenhandleandwidecurvedbladethatcametoawickedpoint.Itlookedsomewhatlikeacomma.Exceptacommawasn’tdoubleedgedandmadeoutofsteel.
ItwasentirelypossiblethatwhoeverhadfollowedMyatoandfromtheHardee’swasalosttravelerwithabustedGPSonhisorherphone.Thekindthattoldyouthatyouhadarrivedwhenyoupulledintoacornfield.Itwaspossible.ItwasalsopossiblethattheCapricewasconnectedtowhathadhappenedattheshopyesterday.
“Thishowy’allwannadoit,right?”Ikesaidinalowmurmur.
HeheardtheCapricebeforehesawit.Whenhedidseeitherecognizedthedriver.HewasoneoftheguyswhohadaccompaniedtheblondVikinghehadnearlydecapitated.Thecarwasgoingslowenoughtobesightseeing.Ikeexplodedfrombehindtheshrubslikehe’dbeenfiredfromarifle.Hewasalreadyswingingthebushaxeasheran.Itslicedthroughtheairinawickedarcbeforeslammingintothedriver’ssidewindowandshatteringitlikeasheetoficeduringaspringthaw.
“Fuck,shit!”Domeyelled.Hisfootslippedoffthegaspedalashetriedtofoldhisbodyunderthesteeringwheel.Cheddarreachedforthe.32inhiswaistband,butitgothunguponthebuckleonhisbelt.ThecarcontinuedtorollevenasIkerearedbackwiththebushaxeagain.
“Drive!”Cheddarroared.
“WhatthefuckyouthinkI’mtryingtodo?”Domehowled.
Ikeswungtheaxeagain.ItconnectedwiththebackwindowoftheCaprice.Theremusthavebeenanimperfectioninthetemperedglass,becauseitexplodedinward,showeringDomeandCheddarwithrazor-sharpshards.Cheddargothisgunloose,butjustashedid,Domehitthegas.Cheddarwasthrownbackwardandthegunwentoff.DomeandCheddarbothscreamedasthecacophonoussoundofthegunfilledthecar.Domefeltabulletwhizbyhisheadandexitthroughtheroof.Heflewdowntheroadspittinggravelfromhisreartires.Bitsofglasscoveredhimlikechipsofice.
IkewatchedastheCapricereachedtheendofTownbridgeLanedoingfortyandturnedrightontoTownbridgeRoadwithoutevenattemptingtoslowdown.
RandyHiers,Ike’sneighbortwohousesdown,cameoutontohisfrontstep.Hewaswearingawifebeaterandloungepants.Randydidn’twork.Hewascollectingdisabilityforawork-relatedinjurythatIkewas90percentsurehewasfaking.RandylikedtodecoratehisyardwithConfederateflagsandDON’TTREADONMEsigns.Herailedagainstfreeloadingimmigrantseverychancehegot.Ikedidn’tthinkherecognizedtheironyofcrusadingagainstfreeloaderswhilecollectingdisabilitythathedidn’treallyneed.
“Whatthehellisgoingonouthere?”Randyyelled.Hehadtheself-assuranceofmostmediocremen.Theytoldthemselvestheworldwastheiroysterbutneverrealizedtheiroysterhadturnedrancidalongtimeago.
“Nothingyouneedtoworryabout,Randy,”Ikesaid.Hestartedtowalkbacktowardhishouse.
“Nowholdonagoddamnedminute.Yououtherebreakingsomeguy’swindowswiththat…whatisthat,anyway?”hesaid,glancingatthebushaxe.Randyshookhisheadlikeabullandcontinuedhisrighteousdiatribe.“Igotkidsinhere,Ike!”Randysaid.
“Youwannaseethemgrowup,you’llgobackinyourfuckinghouse,”Ikesaid.Hedidn’twaitforRandytorespond.BythetimehereachedhisfrontdoorMyawasalreadytherewaitingforhim.Ikewalkedinsideandclosedandlockedthedoorbehindhim.
“Ike,whatthehellisgoingon?”Myaasked.Herfacewasdrawn.Ikeleanedthebushaxeagainstthecoatracknearthefrontdoor.
“YouthinkyoucantakeAriannaandstaywithyoursisterforafewdays?”Ikeasked.Myamovedclosertohim.Herhandhoveredoverhischestbutdidn’tland.
“Ike,whatisgoingon?”sheaskedagain.Hertonewasgentlebutfirm.Ikewentinthekitchenandpouredhimselfacupofcoffee.Hecamebackinthelivingroom.Tookalongsip.
“YouknowhowItoldyoumeandBuddyLeewashandlingwhathappenedtoIsiah?”Ikesaid.
“Yes,”Myasaid.
“Thisiswhathandlingitlookslike.Callyoursisterandseeifyoucanstayoverthereforafew.Please,”Ikesaidbeforetakinganothersipofhiscoffee
TWENTY-SIX
BuddyLeeturnedintothetrailercourtandnearlyhadaheartattack.ParkedinhisshortdrivewaywasagoldLexus.StandingnexttotheLexuswashisex-wife.BuddyLeeparkedhistruckonthesideofthegravelroadthatraninaserpentine“S”throughthetrailercourt.
Whyinthehellisshehere?BuddyLeethought.Tremorsstartedinhishandsandworkedtheirwayuphisarms.Flexingandunflexinghisfingershelpedslightly.Hecheckedtherearviewmirror.ShewasstillstandingbytheLexus.Thebreezecaughtherhairandmadeahalooutofitaroundherhead.BuddyLeesuckedathisteethandgotoutofhistruck.
Christinetookafewstepstowardhim.BuddyLeeleanedagainsthistailgate.Theystoodtherelikeoldgunslingers.Wordswereusuallytheirweapons,andtheiraimwasdeadly.Thebreezedieddown,andChristine’shairfellbacktohershoulders.
“Iguessyou’rewonderingwhyI’mhere,”shesaid.BuddyLeeflickedhistongueagainsttheinsideofhisbottomlip.
“Thethoughthadcrossedmymind.IfiguredthenexttimeI’dseeyouwouldbeonJudgmentDay,”hesaid.Christinetriedtosmilebutitfellfarshortofhereyes.
“Thoughtyoudidn’tbelieveinGod.”
“Idon’treally.Butwhoknows?MaybeI’llstartgoingtochurchandhedgemybets,”BuddyLeesaid.Christinesniffed.Thesecuritylightsintheparkblinkedon,andBuddyLeesawthewetshinearoundChristine’seyes.
“So,what’sup?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Canwegoinside?”
“Idon’tknow.It’snottheTownandCountrystyleyou’reusedto,”BuddyLeesaid.
“It’sbiggerthanthefirsttrailerwehad,”Christinesaid.Thatreferencetotheirsharedpastknockedthebreathoutofhim.Afteralltheseyearshethoughtshe’dprobablyhadthosememoriesscrubbedoutofhermind.Madeherselfbelievetheiryearstogetherwereabaddream.TheycertainlyfeltlikeadreamtoBuddyLee.Hazy,half-rememberedvisionsofapersonandatimeheoccasionallydidn’tbelievehe’deverbeenorhadeverexisted.
“Okay,comeon,”BuddyLeesaid.Christinefollowedhiminside.Hewassittingdownonthecouchwhenherealizedhe’dlefthissix-packinthetruck.Christinesatintherecliner.
“Youwantabeer?Icanrunbacktothetruckandgetmysix-pack,”BuddyLeesaid.
“No,thankyou.Iwasthinkingaboutwhatyousaid.IknowitappearsIdidn’tcareaboutDerek,butIdid.TherewerenightsIstayedupallnightprayingforhimtochange.PrayingtoGodtomakemeabettermother.IfIwasabettermother,hewouldn’thavebeenlikehewas.Ifailedhim.Ifailedhiminsomanyways,”Christinesaid.Tearswererunningdownherface.
“Hey,hey.Youcouldn’tchangeDerek.Nobodycould.Youwon’tbyyourselfinthat.WhenIwasaroundItried,too,butI’mofthemindnowadayshedidn’tneedtochange.Imean,ifhewasstillhere,woulditreallymattertoyouwhohewaslayingdownwithatnight?Becauseitwouldn’tmatteronegoddamnbittome,”BuddyLeesaid.Hefelthisthroattighten.
“I…Idon’tknow.Imeanhewasmyson.Ourson.Butwhathewasdoingwaswrong.Ihavetobelievethat.BecauseifIdon’t,theneverythingIdidwasamistake,”Christinesaid.Sheputherfisttohermouthandmoaned.
“Itwasamistake,Chrissy.Webothmadealotofmistakeswithhim.Hewasn’tabhorrent.Hewasn’tsacrilegious.HewasjustDerek.Thatshould’vebeenenoughforbothofus,”BuddyLeesaid.Hesaiditwithatendernesshedidn’tthinkhimselfcapableofanymore.Atleastnotwithher.
“Geraldwoulddisagreewithyou,”Christinesaid.BuddyLeegrunted.
“Iknowthismightbehardtobelieve,butthegreatGeraldCulpepperisn’talwaysright,”BuddyLeesaid.Christinelaughed.Itwasaharshbark.BuddyLeescratchedhischin.
“What?”
“YouknowtheonethingIalwayslikedaboutyou?Nomatterwhat,youwerereal.There’snophoninesswithyou,BuddyLee.Whatyouseeiswhatyouget.EvenifwhatIgotdrovemecrazysometimes,”Christinesaid.BuddyLeefelthisfacewarming.
“IfIcould’vefakeditsometimes,maybewewould’vemadeit,”BuddyLeesaidwithasmile.Christinedidn’tgivehimoneinreturn.
“IjustleftapartyatmyhousewhereI’mfairlycertainthereisawomanmyhusbandisscrewingtwotimesamonth.It’sthekindofpartyIusedtodreamaboutattendingwhenIwasalittlegirl.Fancysilverware.Realplates.NotaStyrofoamcupinsight.Twolivebands.Thebestfood.Thebestliquormoneycanbuy.Notthatrotgutmydaddyusedtodrink.”Sheshiftedinherchair.
“IwasstandingnexttooneoftherichestmeninVirginiawhilehetoldanastyjokeaboutwhyBlackmenhavesuchbigdicks,asaBlackwomanservedmeanotherglassofprosecco.Gerald’sdadlaughedatthatjokesohardhestartedchoking.AlltheserichsonsofbitchesatmyhousetocelebratethegreatGeraldCulpepperannouncingthathe’sgoingtogiveuphisjudgeshiptorunforgovernor.Hesaysit’sbecausehewantstohelppeople.”Christine’svoicebegantoquaver.
“AndallIcouldthinkaboutwasthatnoneofthesepeopleheregaveadamnaboutmyson.Mybaby.Layinginhisgrave.Includingme.SoIleft.Icametotalktotheonepersonwhoknowshowitfeels.Evenifwehatedeachother,welovedDerek.Didn’twe?”Christineasked.
BeforeBuddyLeecouldanswer,Christinebegantohowl.Greattrumpetingcriesthatshookthetrailer.Sheslippedoutofthereclinerandontohisfloor.HerwhitecaprispickingupbrownsmudgesfromBuddyLee’scarpet.
“IfIhadn’tabandonedhim,maybehe’dstillbealive!Youwereright.It’sallmyfault,”Christinesobbed.BuddyLeethoughtshesoundedlikeananimalcaughtinasnare.Itmadehisskincrawl.Apartofhim,thepartthatstillcaredforher—hell,lovedher—toldhimtogotoher.Ittoldhimtoputhisarmsaroundher,takeinherscent,andtellherthatwasn’ttrue.Thatitwasn’therfault.Thattheonlypersonresponsibleforwhathappenedtotheirsonwasthebastardthatpulledthetrigger.
Hedidn’tmove.
Becausetheotherpartofhim,thepartthatknewthepartthatlovedherwasanostalgicfool,believedsheneededtofeelthis.Sheneededtohavethispaintouchherinplaceshermoneyandstatuscouldn’tshield.She’dturnedherbackontheirson.He’dbeendismissiveandcruel.Theybothneededtoownthatshit.
“Youdidn’tkillhim,Christine,”BuddyLeesaidfinally.Christine’scrieswereebbing.Thehowlsbecomingfainterandfainter.Shehuggedherkneestoherchin.BuddyLeewenttothekitchenandgrabbedacoupleofpapertowels.HefoldedthemandgavethemtoChristine.Shewipedhereyesandhernose.
“OhGod,I’mjustamess,BuddyLee.Youknowhecalledmeacoupleofweeksbeforeithappened?Iignoredthecall.Icouldn’tgetintoitwithhimaboutGeraldandhispoliticsandthegay-rightsagenda.Ijustdidn’twanttodealwithallthat.”Shesighed.“Huh,whoarewekidding?Ineverwantedtodealwithit.Ididn’tknowitwouldbethelasttimeI’dgetachancetotalktohim.Ah,Jesus,”Christinesaid.
“Nobodyeverknowsthelasttimeisgonnabethelasttimeuntilit’stoolate.Youain’taloneinthat.That’swhatmakeslivingsodamnterriblesometimes,”BuddyLeesaid.Christinelookedupathim.
“Havethepolicebeenintouchwithyou?Havetheymadeanyprogressatall?”sheasked.
“Theybeenintouch.Don’tknowhowmuchprogresstheydonemade,”BuddyLeesaid.
Christinenodded.“Youknow,IthinkaboutwhatIwoulddoifIcouldconfrontthem.Thepersonwhodidit.Guessthat’llneverhappen.Theygotmyboy’sbloodontheirhandsandI’llnevergettoseethempay,”Christinesaid.Shebegantowailagain.BuddyLeestoodnearher.Helookeddownandwatchedasherbodytrembledandrocked.Hewatchedashishandeasedtowardherhead.Atthelastmomenthepulleditbackandputitinhispocket.Insteadheploppeddownbesideher.
“MeandIke,Derek’shusband’sdaddy,webeenkindapokingaroundthisthing,”BuddyLeesaid.Hedidn’tleanincloseorputhisarmaroundher.Hesimplysaiditwhilestaringstraightahead.
“‘Pokingaround’?Whatdoesthatmean?”Christineasked,sniffling.
BuddyLeenodded.“Tryingtoseeifwecanshakesomeshitloose.Wegonnabetalkingtothismusicfellasoon.Gonnaseeifknowswherethisgirlisthatmightbeabletotelluswhatstartedallthisshit,”BuddyLeesaid.
Christineraisedherhead.“That’sallyou’redoing,right?Lookingintoit?You’renottryingtohurtanybody,right?”
BuddyLeeshookhishead.Hewasremarkablygoodatlyingtoher.“Nah.Allwedoingistryingtogettothetruth.”
“Idon’twantanyoneelsetodie,”Christinesaid.
“Theywon’t,”BuddyLeesaid.Hethought,Unlesstheytheonesthatkilledtheboys.
“Iknowyou,Buddy.Thattemperofyours.You’veneverbeenabletocontrolit,”Christinesaid.
“Ineverputmyhandsonyou.Never.”
“No,youdidn’t.Butyoubrokemyuncle’sjaw.”
“Hecalledmeapieceofwhitetrash,thenhespitonme.WhatwasIsupposedtodo?Givehimadeep-tissuemassageandburnincense?”BuddyLeeasked.Christinelaughed.Thisonewasdifferent.Itwaslikehoneyonhissoul.
“Youalwayscouldmakemelaugh.So,whenyougoingtotalktothis—whatdidyoucallhim?Amusicfella?”Christineasked.
“Madeyoulaugh.Madeyoucry,too.YouandDerek,”BuddyLeesaid.Hepuffeduphischeeksandtookalongbreath.“We’reprobablygonnagotalktohimtomorrow.IthinkIkeneedsabreaktoday.Webeenrunningkindahard.”
BuddyLeethought,Webeenrunningaroundbreakingpeople’sfingersandtippingoverfakecakes,thenweendedupgrindingaboyintomanure,thenwegotinafightatagayclub.Shit,Ikeneededabreak?Truthis,we’rebotholdandwe’rebothtiredashell.Ineedabreakjustasmuchashedoes.
Hecluckedhistongueagainsthisteeth.
“Look,whatIsaidtheotherdayatthegrave,Ididn’tmeanit.”
“Yeah,youdid.Onethingaboutyou,BuddyLeeJenkins,youain’tgotnoproblemcallingpeopleoutontheirbullshit,”Christinesaid,slippingintoherRedHillCountyaccent.NowitwasBuddyLee’sturntolaugh.
“TheyletyouusethemkindawordsuponMonumentAvenue?”BuddyLeeasked.Christinepushedherselfupoffthefloor.Shewipedoffherbackside,andBuddyLeewatchedasherhandsmovedoverherfirmbuttocks.
“Idon’tliveonMonumentAvenue.WemovedouttoKingWilliamthreeyearsago.GardenAcres.We’reprettymuchbyourselvesoutthere,sonobodycareswhatIsay,”Christinesaid.Shewipedhereyesagainbeforeballingupthepapertowelandputtingitinherpocket.
“IguessIshouldgetgoing,”Christinesaid.BuddyLeenodded.
“Why’dyoureallycomeouthere?Ididn’tthinkyouevenrememberedwhereIlived,”BuddyLeesaid.
“ThelasttimeIwasinRedHillwasrathermemorable,”Christinesaid.
“DerekranawayfromhomeandhitchhikedallthewaydownI-64tohere.IfI’mcorrect,IthinkyourhusbandthreatenedtoputmesofardowninacellI’dhavetogetonastepladdertokissthedevil’sass,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Thatwasafteryouheadbuttedhim,BuddyLee.”
“Hehasabighead.It’saneasytarget.Anyway,Ididn’tlikethewayhewasputtinghishandsonDerek.Orhowyoudidn’tsaynothingaboutit,”BuddyLeesaid.WhatevermagicspellhadbeencastbetweenthembrokesocleanlyBuddyLeethoughthecouldseethefracturesintheairbetweenthem.
“Ineedtogo,”Christinesaid.
“Youneveransweredthequestion.”
“IsupposeIwantedyoutoconvincemeIwasn’tasbadamotherasIthoughtIwas.”Christinesaid.Sheopenedthedoor,andBuddyLeecouldhearthecricketssingingtotheirlovesinthedistance.Christinepausedinthedoorway.
“Youreallythinkyou’regoingtofindoutwhodidthis?”Christineasked.BuddyLeestaredupather.Hedidn’tseethehigh-societyiconoftheupper-crustestablishmentofVirginia.Hesawthatgirlwiththecornflower-blueeyeshe’dfirstmetatthatfieldpartysolongago.
“I’mdedicatingtherestofmyshittylifetoit,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Thatsoundslikesomethingyouwouldsay,”Christinesaid.Shesteppedoutintothenightandclosedthedoorbehindher.BuddyLeebegantosing:
“Andsoonthey’llcarryhimaway.
Hestoppedlovinghertoday.”
BuddyLee’svoicecrackedashesangtheoldGeorgeJonesclassic.Hesangitlowandsoft,butthewordsstillfeltsharpandfullofspikes.
TWENTY-SEVEN
IkegotupatsevenonMondaymorning.Thehousewasquieterthanusual.MyaandAriannawerestayingwithMya’ssisterforthetimebeing.HegrabbedhisphoneandcalledJazzy.
“Hello?”
“Jazz,it’sme.”
Thesleepinessinhervoiceevaporated.
“Hey.What’s…what’sup?”
“Iwaswonderingwereyouuptocomingintoday?WecangettheguysandhitsomeofthejobswecalledoffonFridayandSaturday,”Ikesaid.Thephonelinewassilent.
“Jazz?”
“Idon’tknowifI’mreadytocomeback,”shesaid.
“That’scool.I’lljustgoinandgettheguysoutonsomeofthesmalljobs,andwhenyou’reready—”
“Idon’tknowifI’mevergonnabereadytocomeback,”Jazzysaid.Ikeputthephoneagainsthisforehead.
“Ike,youhearme?”Jazzyasked.Ikeputthephonebacktohisear.
“Yeah.Ihearya,Jazz.”
“Iloveworkingforyou,butit’slikeMarcussays.Whoknowswhenthoseguysmightshowupagain?”Jazzysaid.
“Igetit,Jazz.I’msorryIputyouthroughthat,”Ikesaid.
“I’llsendMarcusbytomorrowtogetmystuffoffmydesk,ifthat’sokay,”Jazzysaid.
“Alright,”Ikesaid.
“Areyoumad?”Jazzyasked.
“What?No.No,Iunderstand,Jazz.Ishouldneverhavebroughtthatshittoourdoor.”
“Whatdoyoumeanyoubroughttoourdoor?What’sgoingon,Ike?”Jazzyasked
“Nothingyouhavetoworryabout,Jazzy,”Ikesaid.Itcameoutwithharshnesshedidn’tintend.“Imean,it’snothingtogetconcernedabout.It’sallgood.”Jazzydidn’tspeakforwhatseemedlikeminutes.
“Whateverisgoingon,don’tletitteardowneverythingyou’vebuilt.You’rebetterthanthat.You’rebetterthanthosefunky-assbikers,”Jazzysaid.Heheardthehitchinherspeechandhefiguredshewasafewsecondsfromcrying.
“Iwon’t,Jazz.YoutellMarcushebettertreatyourightorI’mcomingtoseehim,”Ikesaid.
“Oh,boss,he’sfine.IguessIbettergetup.Ineedtogolookforanewjob,”Jazzysaid.Ikechewedathisbottomlip.Jazzyhadbeenwithhimsinceshe’dgraduatedfromhighschoolfiveyearsago.Hehadnotonlycometodependonherbuthehadgrowntolikeher.IfhesquintedrealhardandprayedtoGod,Allah,andKrishna,hecouldsometimesdothebooksonthecomputer.Jazzyknewthesystembackwardandforward.Itwouldtaketimetotrainanewpersononthecomputer.Itwouldtakeevenlongertotrainthemtobecompatiblewithhisparticularcircadianrhythms.
“Hey,ifyoueverchangeyourmind,thedoorisalwaysopen,”Ikesaid.Alumpwasdoingitslevelbesttoforminhisthroat.
“Ihearyou.Hey,Ike,becareful,okay?”
“I’mascarefulasalong-tailcatinaroomfullofrockingchairs,”Ikesaid.
“Ithinkthat’sthefirstjokeI’veeverheardyoutell.Well,thefirstfunnyone,thatis.IguessIbettergo,”Jazzysaid.
“Okay.Bye.
“Bye,”Jazzysaid.Sheendedthecall.Iketappedhisphoneagainsthisforehead.Jazzywasn’texactlylikeadaughtertoIkebutshewasdamnclose.
“Goddammit,”hesaid.Hegotupandputonapotofcoffee.Hedidn’tevenfeellikegoingtotheshopnow.He’djusttakeanotherpersonaldayandgoinearlytomorrowsincehe’dbewritinguptheworkordersandworkingaccountspayableandreceivable.
Anhourlater,ashewasonhisthirdcupofcoffee,therewasaknockatthedoor.
Ikeputhiscupdownandwenttotheclosetinthehallwaythatledtothestairs.Hegrabbedthepieceofrebarhe’dhiddentheretheothernightafterhisrun-inwiththeCaprice.Thefourteen-inchpieceofironwasonlyanincharound,butitwasasheavyasahammer.Ikewenttothedoorandpeeredthroughthediamond-shapedwindow.
“Aw,hell,”hesaid.Heopenedthedoor.BuddyLeesteppedintothehousewithaHardee’sbag.
“GladIcaughtyoubeforeyouwenttowork.Ibroughtbiscuits,”hesaid.
“Youshouldcallfirst,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeegavetherebaraquickonce-over.
“Damn,youreallymusthateJehovah’sWitnesses,”BuddyLeesaid.IkethoughthemustbegettingusedtoBuddyLee’sattemptsathumor.Hedidn’tevenrollhiseyesthistime.
“HadsomevisitorsSaturday,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeestoppedinhistracksasIkeclosedthedoor.
“Breed?”
“Yeah.TwoguysinabigyellowbananaboatfollowedMyahome,”Ikesaid.
“Didtheyseeyou?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Yeah.Ibustedouttheirwindowswithabushaxe,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeslumpedagainstthewallasIkeshutthedoor.
“Didn’tyoutellmeyoupulledamacheteonthemtheotherday?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Yeah.”
BuddyLeepushedoffthewallandwentintothekitchen.HesatdownatthetableandIkejoinedhim.
“Yougotathingforsharpobjects,huh?Jesus.I’msurprisedthishouseisstillstanding,”BuddyLeesaid.HepulledoneofthebiscuitsoutofthebagandputitonthetableinfrontofIke.Ikegrabbeditandtookabite.Hespokeashechewed.
“IsentMyaandthegirltostaywithhersisterforawhile.Untilthisisover,”hesaid.
“That’sgood.Thatlittlegirldon’tneedtobemixedupinnoneofthis.Howdidyourwifetakeit?Leavingherhouseandall,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Shewon’tsayitbutIthinkshewantsustomakeitright.Whateverthatmeans.Youknow,seeingthemattheshopwasonething.Seeingthematmyfuckinghousewasanother.Itain’tlikeitwasn’trealbeforethat.Imean,Iguessitwaslikeifanythingwentdownitwasonme.Butseeingthemonmyroad…”Ikeletthesentencefadeaway.
“Yougotsomethingelsetolose,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah.”
“Ifyouwantout,Igetit.Iain’tgonnathinklessofyou,”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikeshookhishead.“Weintoodeepnow,homie.Theonlywayoutisthrough.”
BuddyLeechuckled.“Mymamausedtosaythat.”
“Iusedtohearmygranddadsayit.Himandmygrandmamaraisedme.Atleasttheytriedto.Igavethemsomeearlygrayhairs,”Ikesaid.
“Mymamatoldmewhenshewaspregnantsheprayedforaboy.ThenonceIwasbornsheprayedfordiscernment,”BuddyLeesaidwitharuefulsmile.Ikethoughttherewasalotofhurtbehindthatsmile,buthewasn’ttheonetopullitoutofBuddyLee.
“Say,youthinkyougonnaneedmorethanthatpieceofrebararoundhere?BecausemyhalfbrotherChetcangetussomepieces.”
Ikefrowned.“IcangetagunifIneedto.ThisisVirginia.TheydamnnearsellthematSeven-Eleven.”
“Hey,Ike,nooffense,buttheRareBreedain’tasocialclub.Yougonnaneedmorethanfarmtoolsiftheydecidetocomebackandlightthishouseup,”Buddysaid.
“Doyougetacommissionorsomething?”Ikeasked.
“Alright,alright,itwasjustasuggestion.Iguessthenexttimetheycomebyyoucanthrowapitchforkatthem.Anyway,howwegonnagettothisproducerfella?Ifhe’sasbig-timeasyousay,Idon’treckonwecanwalkuptohisfrontdoor,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Igoogledhimlastnight.Can’tfindhisaddressnowhere.Lookeduparticlesonthenewspaperwebsite.ItjustsaysheresidesintheRichmondMetroarea.”
“Shit,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeetappedhisfoot.Thesoundreverberatedacrossthekitchen.
“Waitaminute.Didn’tthatboyatthecakeshopsaytheyhaddoneajobfortheproducer?”Ikeasked.
“Yeah.I’mfiguringthat’swhereDerekmetTangerine,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Okay.So,theywouldhavetheaddress,right?”Ikeasked.
“Yeah,buttheyain’tgonnahanditovertous.Wewentintherebreakingcakesandshit,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Thatwasallyou,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeesnickered.
“Whatever,pointbeingweain’thighontheirlistoffriendsthesedays,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Wedon’thavetobe.Igotanidea,”Ikesaid.HepulledouthiscellphoneandcalledEssentialEventsBakery.Thephoneonlyrangtwicebeforeapleasant-soundingwomanansweredit.
“EssentialEvents,Carriespeaking.HowmayImakeyourdaywonderful?”shesaid.
Ikedeepenedhisvoiceandstretchedouthisenunciation.Myacalledithis“talkingtorichwhitepeoplevoice.”Heuseditwhenhehadtoarrangeabidonahuge,ostentatiousestateorcondominiumdownbytheriver.
“Hello,I’mJasonKruegerandI’manassociateofTariqMatthews.YoumayknowhimbetterasMr.GetDown?Well,afewmonthsagoyourfirmhandledapartyforusatMr.Matthews’shome,andhewassoimpressedhe’dliketohireyouagainforanupcomingevent.However,heisverypressedfortimeandhewouldliketodiscussthemenuwithoneofyourassociates.Today,ifthat’satallpossible,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeecoveredhismouthwithhisforearmandstifledalaugh.
“Ohmy,today?Wearereallyswamped.Couldwepossiblydoittomorrow?I’dbemorethanwillingtodriveouttheremyself,”Carriesaid.Iketookadeepbreathandletoutalongandhopefullyfrustratedsoundingsigh.
“Tomorrowisfine,Isuppose.Couldyoumakeitaroundone?Anddoyoustillhavetheaddress?”Ikesaid.Ikecouldhearthehollowsoundofplastickeysclicking.
“Yes,wedo,”Carriesaid.
“Couldyoureaditbacktome,please?Iwanttomakesureyouhaveitcorrect,”Ikesaid.
“Ofcourse:2359LafayetteLane,Richmond,Virginia,correct?”Carrieasked.
“Yougotit,”Ikesaid.Hehitend.
“Thatwasalmosttooeasy,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Thehardpartcomesnext.Tryingtogettohim,”Ikesaid.
“What’sourplayifthisdon’twork?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Igotanotherideabutit’ssomeDEFCON-5typeshit.Let’strythisfirst,”Ikesaid.
TenminuteslatertheywereinBuddyLee’struckheadingdownthehighway.
TWENTY-EIGHT
BuddyLeeturneddownLafayetteLaneandeasedtoastop.Therewasaguardhouseinthemiddleofatwo-lanedrivewaythatledintoalargersubdivision.Actually,“subdivision”wasabitofamisnomer.BuddyLeecouldseebeyondtheguardhousetherewereonlysixhousesvisible.Eachonehadaback-andfrontyardthesizeofhalfafootballfield
“Flyingbuttresses,”Ikesaid.
“What?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Thethirdhouseontheleft.Thebig-assone.It’sgotflyingbuttresses.”
“Whatthefuckareflyingbuttresses?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Don’tworryaboutit.Herecomestheguard,”Ikesaid.AlargeburlyBlackmanwasshufflingtowardthetruckwithaclipboardinonehandandwalkie-talkieintheother.Ikethoughtoneoftheworstthingsyoucouldgiveamanwasaclipboard.He’dbeenatthemercyofmenwithclipboards.Theycouldkeepyououtofagatedcommunityorputyouonabustoprison.Giveamanaclipboardandwatchhistruenaturecomeout.TheguardknockedonBuddyLee’swindow.BuddyLeecrankeditdown.
“Hello,sir,whoareyouheretoseetoday?”theguardsaid.BuddyLeegavehimhisbestgood-ol’-boysmile.
“Yes,sir,weareheretotalkwithMr.Matthews.Weare…heretopickupsomefurniturehe’sdonatingtotheDAV,”BuddyLeesaid.
“What’syourname,sir?”
“BuddyLeeJenkins.”Theguardcheckedhisclipboard.
“I’msorry,sir,Idon’tseethatnamelistedhere,”theguardsaid.
“CallhimandtellhimwewanttotalktohimaboutTangerineandweain’tleavinguntilwedo,”Ikesaid.Theguardpartedhislips,thenthoughtbetterofit.Insteadhespokeintohiswalkie.Aftersomestatictingedbackandforth,theguardpointedtothethirdhouseontheright.
“Mr.Mathewssayscomeondown,”theguardsaid.
IkespiedasilverBMWintherearviewmirror,drivenbyawomanwiththemostsevereI-want-to-speak-with-the-managerhaircuthe’deverseen.Shezippedbythemdoingatleastthirtymilesperhour,likeshehadsomedalmatiansinthetrunkthatsheneededtomakeintoacoat.
“Thankyou,hoss,”BuddyLeesaid.Ashedrovepasttheguardhousetheburlymanwaved.
“I’msurprisedthatworked,”BuddyLeesaid.
“TalkingaboutTangerinegothisattention,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,hebitonthatlikeabigmouthbass,”BuddyLeesaid.Acoughrackedhisbodyandforcedhimtoleanonthesteeringwheelwithhishandoverhismouth.
“Hey,youokay?”Ikeasked.
BuddyLeenoddedashecoughedagain.Heleanedbackandrootedaroundinhisdrinkholderforanapkin.Hewipedhishand,thenhismouth.
Ikenoticedapinkishsputumonthenapkin.Hecouldlieallhewanted,butIkeknewBuddyLeewasfarfromokay.
“Gottaquitsmoking,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Iain’tnoticeyousmoking,”Ikesaid.
“Shit,maybeIshouldstart,”BuddyLeesaid.
Theydrovedownthesinuousroadthatwoundthroughthecommunity.Ikenoticedeachofthehomeshadalowboundarywallmadeoutofbrickorexposedriverstoneandbifurcatedbyablackwrought-irongate.Eachlawnwasmanicuredwithinaninchofitslife.Redmapleswereplantedinthemiddleoftheroadatregulartwenty-footintervals.BuddyLeeturneddownthedrivewayofthethirdhouseandstoppedatthegate.Ikeheardaninsectilebuzzersound,andtheblackgatesopenedlikebutterflywings.Theywentthroughthegates,andIkefeltatrickleoficewaterslipdownhisbackasthegatesclosed.Thesoundofthelockengaginggavehimflashbacks.
BuddyLeefollowedtheexposedaggregateroadwayuntilhistruckwasinthefarrightcurveofthecirculardriveway.Achopped-and-droppedMercedes-BenzSUVwasparkedatthebottomofasetofmassivestepsthatleduptothefrontdoorofthemansion.BuddyLeeputthecarinparkandkilledtheengine.
Fourwalkingappliancesinblackblazerscamedownthestepsofthemansionwiththeflyingbuttresses,accompaniedbyashortdark-skinnedbrotherwithelaboratelybraidedcornrows.Heworeabright-lime-greentracksuitandagoldAfro-pickpendantonalongchain.Ikethoughtthependantweighedmorethanthemanwearingit.
BuddyLeeandIkeclimbedoutofthetruckandstoodsidebysideinfrontofthequintet.Ikethoughttheylookedliketheyhadallbeentransportedfromthesetofanunimaginativerapvideo.
“Pat’emdown,”thebrotherwiththecornrowssaid.
IkeandBuddyLeeraisedtheirarms.GettingfriskedwasanacceptableindignityifthisgotthemclosertofindingTangerine.Oneofthebehemothspattedthembothdown.HepulledBuddyLee’sknifeoutofhispocket.
“That’sforapplecoring,”BuddyLeesaid.Theman,whowasobviouslyapartofTariq’ssecuritydetail,heldtheknifeuptohisface.
“Thisthing’sagoddamnantique,”hesaidbeforepocketingit.
“Thatknifebelongedtomygrandfather.I’llthankyoutoputitbackinmyhand,”BuddyLeesaid.
“You’llgetitbackbeforeyouleave,”thebodyguardsaid.
Noonespokeforwhatfeltlikeminutes.Ikedecidedtojumpinthedeepend.
“DoyouknowagirlnamedTangerine?We’retryingtofindher.Shemightknowwhokilledoursons,”Ikesaid.Themaninthetracksuit,whoIkeassumedwasTariq,didn’tseemtoregisterhisquestion.Hepulledasmalljointoutofhispocketandstuckitinhismouth.Thesecurityguardclosesttohimlititforhimwithagoldcigarettelighter.Tariqtookalongdrag,heldit,andletthesmokeflowouthisnostrils.BuddyLeejumpedintotheconversation.
“Weain’tlookingtojamherup.Wejustwanttoknowwhathappened,”BuddyLeesaid.Tariqstillkepthiscardsclosetothevest.
“Look,somebodystoodovermysonandpumpedtwobulletsinhishead.Ijustwanttofindoutwhodidit,andI…we…thinkTangerinecanhelp.”
Nothing.
“DoyouspeakEnglish?”BuddyLeesaid.Hedidn’ttrytohidehisfrustration.Tariqtookanotherlongpuffonthejoint.Hepluckeditfromhislipsanduseditasapointerashetalked.
“Here’sthedeal,SaltandPepper.YougonnastoptryingtofindTangerine.Yougonnagobackhomeandleavethisthefuckalone.YougonnaleaveTangyalone.Thisisaonetime,nonnegotiableoffer.Youaregonnaacceptthetermsofthisagreement,orI’mgonnahavemyfellasherefoldyouup,putyouinanenvelope,andmailyoubacktowhereverthefuckyoucamefrom,”Tariqsaid.
BuddyLeecaughtIke’seye.Ikestaredback.AfterafewsecondsheturnedhisattentionbacktoTariq.
“Itoldyouwedon’twanttohurther.Wejustwannatalk,”Ikesaid.Hepronouncedeachwordwithameasuredcaution.Thefoursecurityguardshadtakenpositionsathiseleven,one,five,andeighto’clock.Theairaroundthemwaschargedlikeathunderstormwasapproaching.Tariqwasstillstandingnearthestone-carvedfrontsteps.
“Youdon’tlistentoowell,doyou,fam?”Tariqsaid.Hemadeashootinggesturewithhisjoint.
“Well,shit,”BuddyLeewhispered.
Theguardsadvancedonthem.TwoforBuddyLee,twoforIke.ThepairthatlockedonIkecameathimwithshort,precisemovements.Theirpuncheswerespecificandtargetedandfullofbadintentions.Iketookakidneyshotfromoneofthebodyguards,alight-skinnedbrotherwithaflattop,whichnearlymadehislegsbuckle.Iketrappedtheman’srightarmwithhisleftandjammedhisthumbintotheman’sAdam’sapple.
Thelight-skinnedmanstumbledbackwardgrabbinghisthroat,justashispartner,abrotherwithamini-Afro,clockedIkeonthesideoftheheadwithafistroughlythesizeofaSmithfieldham.Iketriedtotuckhischinintohischestbuthestillgotthebruntoftheblow.Ashetriedtosteadyhimself,Mini-Afroexecutedaspinningheelkickthatshouldhaveviolatedthelawsofphysicsforamanhissize.
ItcaughtIkeinthesolarplexus,andhefeltaspasmripplethroughhismidsectionlikehe’dbeentased.Hefellbackagainstthetruck.Light-Skinnedhadrecoveredsomewhatandwasadvancingonhimfromtheleft.Actingpurelyoninstincthonedfromhundredsofthrowdowns,insideandonthestreet,Ikegrabbedthepassengerdoor,openeditwithdeftfingers,andslammeditintoLight-Skinned.Thebottomofthedoorcaughthimintheshin,andheimmediatelydroppedtoonekneelikehewasabouttopropose.
Mini-AfrocaughtIkeinthechinwithatwo-piececombo.BlackstarstwinkledinfrontofIke’seyes.Grunting,helaunchedhimselfatMini-Afro.Theycollidedlikeapairofmountaingoats.Ikehookedtheotherman’slegwithhisownasheexecutedatangledpirouette.Theyfelltothegroundinatwistedconflagrationofarmsandlegsandfists.Light-Skinnedwasbacktohisfeet,andthistimehewasholdingacollapsiblebaton.
IkeendedupontopofMini-Afro.Ikehithimwitharightcross,thenarightelbowstrike.Mini-Afro’snoseflattenedagainsthisfacelikeajellyfish.Bloodflowedunfetteredfrombothhisnostrilsandintohismouth.Ikedoubleduponhim.Twofastbrutalpunchesthatclosedtheman’slefteyelikeacurtain.ThenIke’sworldexplodedinanuclearflashofwhitelightandsearingpainsointensehethoughthewasgoingtovomit.
Light-Skinnedrearedbackandstruckhiminthebackwiththebatonagain.IkesloughedoffMini-Afrolikeanoldcoat.Light-Skinnedsteppedonhispartner’skneecapinhishastetogettoIke.Ikesawthebigmanbearingdownonhimwithalongblackbaton.ItresembledtheonesfavoredbythecorrectionsofficersinColdwater.
Ikewasflatonhisback.HecouldfeeltheheatfromtheasphaltthroughhisT-shirt.Thepaininhisneckwaslikeapairofplierspinchinghissecondandthirdvertebrae.
Light-Skinnedwasalmostontopofhim.Insteadofkickingupattheman’sface,whichiswhatLight-Skinnedwasprobablyexpecting,Ikekickedatthesideofhiskneewitheverythinghehadleft.
Hedidn’thearthecrackhewashopingfor,buthedidhearapitifulbayinghowl.Light-Skinnedfellagainstthesideofthetruck.Thebatondroppedfromhishandashetriedtograbontothetrucktokeephimselffromfallingtotheground.
Ikegottohisfeet.InoneswiftmotionhekickedMini-AfrointhekidneyandthenheadbuttedLight-Skinnedabovethelefteye.ThemovehurthimalmostasmuchasitdidLight-Skinned,butitserveditspurpose.Light-SkinnedsliddownthequarterpanelofBuddyLee’struck.Hisfaceleftaredstreakontherustedmetal.IkemovedtohelpBuddyLeebutstoppedinhistrackswhenhesawthegun
BuddyLeewasgettinghisasskicked.
Itwasn’tacompleteshock,inallhonesty.Themomenthesawthetwomonstersrunathimwiththegraceofgazelles,heknewhewasinforabeating.Menthatbigshouldn’tbeabletomovethatfast,andwhentheycould,itmeanttheywerewell-trainedandskilled.Whichmeanthewasgoingtogethisasshandedtohim.
BuddyLeedecidedtogooutswinging.Itwastheonlywayheknew.
Thefirstmonsterthatapproachedhimhadamustachesofullitwasalikeacathadtakenupresidenceonhisupperlip.TheothergrizzlybearwassocockeyedBuddyLeefiguredhecouldseearoundacornerwithoutturninghisdamnhead.
BuddyLeewentatthemlikeawindmillonlegs.HeswungonCockeyedwhilehekickedatCatStache.HecaughtCockeyedjustbelowthelefteye.BuddyLeefelthisfootconnectwithCatStache’srightknee.Hemightaswellhavebeenthrowingbeansatatank.Cockeyedslammedhiminthestomachanddoubledhimover.CatStachegrabbedBuddyLee’sarmsandmadehimstandupright.Cockeyedstartedpepperinghimwithleftsandrightslikeitwashisnewfavoritehobby.BuddyLeeknewthathewasgoingtobepissingbloodforaweek.Cockeyedgrabbedhimbythechinandforcedhimtolookathim.
“Yougonnalearntoday,oldman,”Cockeyesaid.
I’maquickstudy,yousonofabitch,BuddyLeethought.InanefforttodemoralizeBuddyLee,CockeyedhadgottenwithinstrikingdistanceofBuddyLee’srightfoot.BuddyLeekickedthemanashardashecould,rightinthenuts.
Cockeyed’slegsslammedshutatthekneesashebentoverandcuppedhisballs.TheshockofseeinghispartnerfalltothegroundunnervedCatStachetosuchanextentheeasedhisgriponBuddyLee’sarms.BuddyLeetooktheopportunitytoramthebackofhisheadintoCatStache’smouth.Hethoughthecouldfeeltheman’slipsflattenagainsthisteeth.BuddyLeespunaroundandgaveCatStachealefthookrightbehindhisrightear.Themanfellagainstthehoodofthetruck.
Thatwaswhenhesawthegun.
ItwasahugesemiautomaticinashoulderrigthatdangledagainstCatStache’srightside.BuddyLeehadalwayshadfasthands.Hisdaddyhadtaughthimhowtoliftwalletsandwatchesbeforehetaughthimtorideabike.Allthebodyguardswereprobablypacking,buttheyhadtakenIkeandBuddyLeelightly.Theysawacoupleofoldgeezerswhowereinneedofanattitudeadjustment.Theyprobablyfiguredtheycouldhandlethetwoofthemwithoutevenwrinklingtheircoats.
Everyonemakesmistakes,BuddyLeethought.
HeslippedhishandinsideCatStache’sblazerandrelievedhimofhisgun.BuddyLeespunonCockeyedandTariqandCatStache,whowasnowRedStachebecauseofallthebloodcomingoutofhismouth.
“Backyourraggedyassesup!”BuddyLeesaid.Hemovedtowardthedriver’ssideofhistruckwhilekeepinghiseyeonTariqandhisprivatearmy.Ikemovedtowardthepassenger’sside.Hestoodbehindtheopendoor,halfinandhalfoutofthetruck.Mini-Afrowasbackupandhehadhisguninhishand,pointingitatBuddyLee.
“Dropthefuckinggun!”Mini-Afroyelled.
“Suckmycrookedreddick,BarryWhite.Iain’tdroppingshit,”BuddyLeesaid.Hischestwasonfire,butheusedeveryounceofhiswilltopushthepainaside.
“Wejustwantedtotalk,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeehadmovedallthewaytothedriver’ssideofthetruck.
Tariq’sguardsgatheredaroundtheiremployerlikeaphalanx.Hespokefrombehindthesafetyoftheirbroadshoulders.Smiling,hetookalongtokeonhisjoint.Ikerealizedhewasenjoyingthis.
“Giveitup,fam.Youain’taboutthislife.Tangerineisoff-limitstoyou.Dropthatgun,gramps,beforeyoureallygethurt,”Tariqsaid.
“Whydon’tyoucomeoutfrombehindyourboysandwe’llseewho’saboutthatlifeandwho’sstillsuckingontheirmama’stitty,”BuddyLeesaid.Tariq’ssmilefaltered.
“Iliveinarealniceneighborhoodwithsomerealnicewhitepeople.Youprobablygotabouttwominutestogetoutofherebeforethecopsshowup.Theylookoutforushigh-rollingtaxpayers,”Tariqsaid.
“YoutalktoTangerine,youtellherweneedtotalktoher.Ourboystriedtohelpherandtheygotkilled.Sheowesusthat,”Ikesaid.
“Tosshimmyknife,”BuddyLeesaid.Cockeyed,whohadtakentheknifeoffofBuddyLee,blanched.
“Putthegundownandyougetyourknife,”hesaid.BuddyLeeaimedathisforehead.
“Iknowyourboygotabeadonme,buthearmewhenItellyouthis:there’llbetwoofusdeadifyoudon’thandoverthatknife,”BuddyLeesaid.TherewasaflatnesstohisvoicethatIkehadneverheard.HerealizedBuddyLeewasfullypreparedtodieoverthatjackknife.Thebodyguardmusthaverealizedit,too,becausehepulleditouthispocketandtossedittoIke.Ikeinturnthrewitontheseat.
“I’mkeepingyourgun,”BuddyLeesaid.
Theybothclimbedinthetruck.BuddyLeefireditupandmashedthepedaltothefloor.Thesecurityguardmissedgettingrunoverbyafrog’shair.
TWENTY-NINE
BuddyLeehadhoppedontheinterstateandtakenthemoutofRichmond.Hetookthefirstexitaftertheyhadclearedthecitylimitsandpulledintoagasstation.He’dbarelyshutoffthetruckwhenheopenedthedoorandvomited.Itlookedlikeachildhadspilledacanofred-and-greenfingerpaintontheground.
“Ithinkthatfellaturnedmyliversideways,”hesaidwhenhewasdone.Ikewounddownthewindowandcheckedhisfaceinthesidemirror.Therewasbloodonhisface.Hischinwasswellinglikeapufferfish’s.Hetouchedthebackofhishead.Thebatonhadreopenedthewoundthekidhadgivenhimwiththechair.
“Yeah,theyfuckedusupprettygood,”Ikesaid.
“Tried,”BuddyLeesaid.
“What?”
“Isaidtheytriedtofuckusupprettygood.”
“Youneedtocheckthemirror,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeelaybackagainstthebenchseat.
“I’mnotsayingwedidn’ttakenolicks,butwestillhere,ain’twe?Alotofpeopleweusedtorunwitharegone.Now,Iain’tmuchonreligion,butlikeyousaid:Everybodygotaskill.Athingtheyputonearthfor.Maybethisiswhywestillaround.Tofinishthis,”BuddyLeesaidlyingbackagainsttheheadrest.
Ikewasn’tsureifhewashypinguphimselforIke.ButhehadtoadmitBuddyLeehadapoint.Theybothwentquietastheirbodiesregisteredthepainthatwassuretogetworseasdaygavewaytonight.
“Thatknifemeansalottoyou,doesn’tit?”Ikeasked,finallybreakingthesilence.BuddyLeepulledthejackknifeoutofhispocket.Hehelditinfrontofhisfaceandstaredatitforalongtimebeforehespoke.
“Itbelongedtomydaddy,”BuddyLeesaid.Hedidn’tofferanyotherexplanationthanthosefivewords.Ikedidn’tneedone.TheknifehadbelongedtoBuddyLee’sfather.Thatexplaineditall.
Ikechangedthesubject.
“Heknowswheresheis.Hewouldn’thavegonethroughallthisifhedidn’t,”hesaid.BuddyLeewheezed,coughed,thenspitouthiswindow.
“Yeah,butheain’tlikelytotellusnow.Youthinkwecouldtakehimwhenheleaveshishouse?Gethimoutinthebooniesandmakehimtell?”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeusedacrumplednapkintowipethebloodfromhisknuckles.
“Iknowaguymightbeabletohelpusgettohimagain,”Ikesaid.
“Well,shit,IwishyouhadsaidthatbeforeIgotmyribsrearranged,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Wedidn’tpartonthebestofterms.It’salongstorybutheowesme.Ithinkit’sabouttimeIcollect.”
“Youwannagonow?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Ain’tnotimelikethepresent,”Ikesaid.
“Canyoudrive?IthinkifIhiccuptoohardI’mgonnapassout,”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikegotbackontheinterstate,thentooktheChesterfieldexit.ChesterfieldCountywasahugemunicipalitythatencompassedseveralsmalltownswithinitsbordersandenormousswathsofwildernessthatremainedessentiallyunchangedsincebeforeCaptainJohnSmithhadtoldhisfirstlieabouthisadventuresintheNewWorld.
Ikedrovealongrollingbackroadslinedbyditchesdeepenoughtodiveinanddothebackstroke.Finally,hecametoashoppingcenterthatsatinthemiddleofafieldonalonelyspitoflandnearRoute360.Acornfieldborderedthestripmalltothenorth,andseveralabandonedshippingcontainersandtrailerstothesouth.Ikerememberedwhenhefirstgotout,therehadbeenafleetrepairshopnearthestripmall.Theplacehadbeenahugesheet-metalmonstrositythatboremorethanapassingresemblancetohisshop.Noweventhebonesofthatbuildingweregone.Scatteredtothefourwindsorthenearestsalvageyard.
Ikepulledintotheparkinglotofthestripmallandparkedthetruck.
“Stayinhere,”Ikesaid.
“Shit,youain’tgottatellmetwice,”BuddyLeesaid.Hereachedintothecupholderandretrievedhisknife.HehelditouttowardIke.
“WhatI’msupposedtodowiththat?”
“Stickpeoplewiththesharpend.”
“Iain’tgonnaneedthat,”Ikesaid.
“Look,yousaidtherewasalongstorytothisshit.Inmyexperiencethatusuallymeansshitdidn’tendallcopacetic.Youdon’tneedtogowalkingintherenaked.Soit’seitherthisorthegun,”BuddyLeesaid.Ike’seyessettledontheknife.Maybeheshouldtakeit.Howlonghaditbeensincehe’dtalkedtoLance?Tenyears?Alotofthingscanchangeinthattime.Peopleforgettheirdebts.Theirloyaltieschangeandshiftlikesmoke.Theknifewouldbeprotection.Thegunwouldbeanactofaggression.
Ikegrabbedtheknifeandputitinhisfrontpocket.
“I’llberightback,”Ikesaid.
“Ain’tlikeIwasgonnarunamarathon.Justdon’tloseit,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikegavehimalook.
“Youain’tgottaworryaboutthat,”Ikesaid,
Ikeheardtheroboticdingofadoorbellasheenteredthebarbershop.Therewerefivechairswithfivedifferentmenandboysofvariousagesinthem.Theshopsmelledofcleaningchemicals,machineoil,andairfreshenersthatremindedhimofcheapcologne.Thefar-leftwallwasabankofmirrors.Thefar-rightwallhadpostersofMichaelJordandunking,MikeTysonboxing,andachartofvarioushairstylesalongwiththepricesforsaidhairstyles.Afifty-inchflatscreendominatedtherestofthewall.TheWizardswereplayingtheCelticsassubtitlescrawledacrossthebottom.Asliceoflate-ninetiesR&Bwasrainingdownfromacoupleofspeakersintheceiling.
“Bewithyouinaminute,chief,”saidoneofthebarbers,anoldermanwithwhitesideburnsbutcoal-blackhairontop.Thecacophonyofbuzzingcomingfromthevarioustrimmerssoundedlikelazyhornetsflyingaroundtheclients’heads
“I’mlookingforSlice.Hehere?”Ikeasked.TheoldermanstoppedandgaveIkealongonce-over.
“Who’sasking?”theolderbarberasked.Ikehesitated.
“Riot.RiotRandolph,”hesaid.
Theclippersintheoldbarber’shandstartedtotremble.Hesnuckaglancetowardthebackofthebuilding.Apairofbluevelvetcurtainshungoveranopeningthere.
“Hangon,”theoldmansaid.Heflickedabuttononthesideoftheclippersandsatthemontheshelfbehindhim.Acellphoneappearedinhishand.Ikewatchedastheman’sthumbsflewoverthescreen.SecondstickedbyandthentheoldermanlookedupatIke.
“Takeaseat,”hesaid.
“Yougonnafinishoryouwantmetocomeback?”theolderbarber’sclientasked.Therestoftheguysintheshopburstoutlaughing.
“Slowyourroll,youngbuck,ormyParkinson’smightkickin,”theolderbarbersaid.
“Youain’tgotnoParkinson’s,Maurice,”theclientsaid.
“Butthat’swhatI’lltellpeoplewhentheyaskwhyIchoppedyourheadup,though.I’mjustaconfusedoldman,”Mauricesaid,addingcomicalwitheredintonationtohisvoiceattheendofhisstatement.Anotherburstoflaughterfilledtheshop.Ikesatinthelastchairinarowofchairsboltedtothefloorandtoeachother.Ikefeltahairticklehisthroat.Hecoughedandgrimaced.Themusclesinhischestfeltliketheywerewoundtightasafishingreel.Everybreathmadehimwince.Thepaininhisbodywasgettingclosetomatchingthepaininhissoul.
“Lookatthisshit.Man,Idon’tknowwhytheygotthisstuffontheTV,”alargemaninthethirdchairgettinghisbearddyedsaid.Hepointedattheflatscreen,bringinghishandfromunderthesmockcoveringhisupperbody.Ikefollowedtheman’sfingerandsawacommercialforashowaboutadrag-showcompetition.
“Youknowwhyit’son.WhitefolksloveseeingBlackmenindresses.It’sawholethingaboutfeminizingus,makingusweak,”thebarberdyeinghisbeardsaid.
“It’saC-O-N-spiracy,huh,Tyrone?”ayounglight-skinnedbrotherworkingonaclient’slineupsaid.
“Oh,youdon’tthinktheywantour‘women’—quote,unquote—independentandourmenweakandgay?That’showtheykeepusinline.Itain’tparanoiaifit’strue,Lavell,”Tyronesaid.Lavelllaughed.
“Nowyousoundlikeoneofthemsuper-wokebrothersonYouTubeinthekufuhat,”Lavellsaid.
“Look,Idon’tcareiftheygayandshit,butwhytheygottabeallovertheplacewithit?Theygettingoutofpocketwiththatshit,”themangettinghisbearddyedsaid.
“Howtheyrubbingitinyourface,Craig?Theybreakinginyourhouseandputtinglipstickonyouinyoursleep?”Lavellaskedwithachuckle.
“Youknowyousoundingrealsuspect,Lavell.Yougotsomesparklyhighheelsunderyourbed?”Craigasked.
“Yeah,theyyomomma’s,”Lavellsaid.Mauricebrayedatthatremark.
“Forreal,though,themboysupthere,theytheresultofthegovernmentsplittingupBlackfamilies.Madewelfaremoreattainablethanlivingononeincome.Madewomenthinktheydidn’tneednokingintheylife.That’showyougetniggasinwigsandmakeupprancingaroundlikegoddamnTinkerbells,”Craigsaid.
“Idon’tthinkthat’showitworks,man,”Lavellsaid.Craigsnorted.
“Letmyboyscomehometalkingaboutthatgayshit.Theygonebelivinginacardboardboxdownbytheriver.Nah,bumpthat,I’mabeatthatshitoutofthem.Anymanlethissongrowupgay,hedonefailed.It’slikeChrisRocksay,youronlyjobistokeepyourdaughteroffthepoleandkeepadickoutyourson’smouth,”Craigpontificated.
“I’vewatchedabunchofhisHBOspecials,andheain’tneversaythatlastpart.Andwhyyouthinkingaboutadickinyourson’smouth?Youneedtherapy,Craig,”Lavellsaid.
“Forgetyou,Lavell,that’swhyIgetTyronetocutmyhair,”Craigsaid.OnemoreroundoflaughterfilledtheshopastheconversationmovedontotheWizards’chancesorlackthereofagainsttheCeltics.
Ikegrippedthesidesofhischair.Adullacheworkeditswayupfromhishandstohisforearms.Herealizedthechairsinthebarbershopweresimilartothechairshe’dseeninthepolicestation.Ikeusedtolikecomingtothebarbershop,beforehestartedlosinghishairandtooktoshavinghisownhead.Theagilebanter,thecasualcamaraderie,thegive-and-takeoffriendlyinsultsandjabs—itwasallapartofthecharacterandcultureofthebarbershop.Manytimeshethoughtofitasthelastplaceyoudidn’thavetoapologizeforbeingaBlackman.
Thisconversationshowedhimthattherewasanothersidetothebarbershop.Asidehe’dalwaysknownwastherebuthaddismissed.Itcouldbeaplaceofcircularlogic,whereobtusethinkingwasconfirmedandreinforcedbyapervasivegroupthink.Yeah,youhadsomebrotherslikeLavellgoingagainstthetide,butforthemostparteverybodygotinfuckingline.Didtheyreallythinkboysweregaybecauseyouweren’tagoodfather?HemightnothavebeenthereforIsiahthewayhewantedto,butevenheknewthatdidn’tmakehissongay.Hedidn’tpretendtounderstandIsiah’slife,butheunderstoodthatmuch.
Sixmonthsago,youwould’vebeenlaughingrightalongwiththem,though.BeforetheyputabulletinIsiah’shead.Beforetheykilledyourboy,Isiahthought.
“Youalright,chief?”Mauriceasked.HeeyedIkewarily.
“What?”Ikesaid.
“Youbreakingmyarmrestthere,chief,”Mauricesaid.Ikereleasedthearmrestsandsawhehadnearlypulledthehard-moldedplasticofftheironframe.Abrotherwithaclean-shavenheadthesizeofabasketballleanedthroughthecurtains.Hisskinwasthecolorofobsidian.
“Comeonback,”hesaid.Itsoundedlikebricksinawashingmachine.Ikegotupandwentthroughthecurtains.Heenteredastoreroomsetuptobeanoffice,andaluxuriousoneatthat.Alargeornatewoodendeskwithaleather-boundchairunderit.Thefloorcoveredindeep-pilebrowncarpet.Aglass-topcoffeetablesatinfrontofaplushleatherrecliner.Atraywiththreehalf-gallonbottlesofgin,bourbon,andrumsatontherightsideoftherecliner.InthereclinerwasatrimBlackmaninapairofblackdresspantsandagrayT-shirtunderasilkblackbutton-uplong-sleevedshirt.Tightlycoileddreadlocksfelldowntothemiddleofhisback.
Theclean-shavenmansteppedinfrontofIke.
“Youcarrying?”hesaid.
“Justaknifeinmypocketforwork,”Ikesaid.Theclean-shavenmanpattedIkedownwithhandsthesizeofcarbatteries.Hepulledtheknifeoutofhispocket.
“Getitbackwhenyouleave,”themansaid.Hewenttothecorneroftheofficeandleanedagainstthewall.
I’veheardthatbefore,Ikethought.
“Beenalongtime,Ike.Thoughtyoudidn’tgobyRiotnomore,”Slicesaid.HespokewithasoftlispandahintofsoutheasternVirginiarollingaroundinthebackofhisthroat.WhenIkehadgoneinsideSlicewasaskinnyseventeen-year-oldkidtakingovertheNorthRiverBoysforhisbrotherLuther.NowhewasLancelotWalshakaSliceakatheManintheCapCity.AfterLuthergothitthey’dallretreatedbacktoRedHill.Slicehadbeeninabadplace.Thewholecrewhadbeeninabadplace.RomelloSykesandtheRolling80shadkilledLutherinretaliationforascrapthey’dgottenintoatahousepartyinthemiddleofno-fucking-where.Itwasn’tevenbusiness.Justsomepersonaldick-swingingbullshit.TheNorthRiverBoyshadgonerunningbackhometoRedHillwiththeircollectivetailsbetweentheirlegs.Romellohadsnatchedofftheirmasksandrevealedthemtobethewannabegangsterstheyreallywere.
Ike,no,Riotcouldn’tletthatshitgo.FuckRomelloandfucktheRolling80s.Hehadn’tbeenawannabe.He’dfoundRomello.He’ddealtwithRomello.ThenthestateofVirginiahaddealtwithhim.Theyweretheoneswhoputhiminprison,butIkehadbeentheonewho’dtakenawayhiswife’shusbandandhisson’sfather.
“Ineededtogetyourattention.Howyoubeen,Slice?”Ikeasked.Sliceboredownonhimwithhiscoal-blackeyeslikechipsofhematite.Hewasdrinkingdarkbrownrumoutofacut-crystalglass.
“Whatyoudoinghere,Ike?Ithoughtyouwon’t’boutthislifenomore?LastIheardyouwascuttingrichpeople’sgrass,givingtheLaRazaarunfortheymoney,”Slicesaid.
“Iwas.ImeanIam.Ineedafavor.”
“Whatkindoffavorcouldsomebodylikeyouwantfromsomebodylikeme?Youwantmetotakecareofwhoeverbeatyoass?Ohyeah,youdonegotwalloped,bruh,”Slicesaid.Ikesethisjawandpushedhistongueintohischeek.
“IneedameetwithahomeboyIthinkisoneofyourclients.Ineedittoday,”Ikesaid.Slicesmiled.Itwaslikewatchinganicicleform.
“Whatyouknowaboutmybusiness,Ike?”Slicesaid.
“IknowyourunshitfromCapCitytoRedHillanduptoDC.IknowyoumoveweightandgunsuptheIronCorridor.IknowyouownClubRoja.Nicetouch.YounameitforRedHill?AndIthinkIknowyoucansetthismeetupbecausethismotherfuckeristhetypethatwouldeitherbuybigweightorwanttotagalongwithsomerealballers.AndyoutherealestballerIknow,”Ikesaid.Slicesippedhisdrink.
“Youkeepingtabsonme,Ike?”heasked.Thequestionitselfwasfairlyinnocuous,butthesubtextwasasmenacingasatigersittinginyourbackseat.Ikehadknowndangerousmenallofhislife.TherewereseveralJohnDoesburiedinapauper’sgravethatwouldsayIkewasadangerousman.Theyradiatedadarkenergythatwasfueledbythefusionofdetermination,will,andthenot-so-subtleabilitytonotgiveafuck.SlicewasoneofthemostdangerousmenIkeknew.He’dearnedhisnicknamefromhispenchantforslicingofffingersandtongues.Notthoseofhisenemies,butthoseofhisenemy’sbrothersandsisters,wivesandchildren.
“Notlikethat,Slice.Ijustbehearingstuff.I’moutthegame,butthegamedon’twanttoleavemealone,”Ikesaid.Ikecouldfeelamadtensionintheroomwashoverhimandswallowhimwhole.Slicestaredathimovertheedgeofhiscup.Craighadspokenaboutkings.Ikedidn’twanttobeaking.Akingneversleeps.HeendsuplikeSlice.Staringateveryoneandanticipatinghowtheymighttrytocomeforhiscrown.
“Andwhoisthemotherfuckeryouwanttomeet?”Slicesaid.Hedrewtheword“motherfucker”outuntilitsoundedlikeithadsevensyllables.
Ikecrossedhisarms.
“Mr.GetDown,”Ikesaid.Slice’seyescrinkled.Hechortled.
“YouwanttotalktoTariq?Mybusinesspartner?Ohyeah,I’vegotapieceofhiscatalog.He’saninvestorinafewofmyclubs.IputsomemoneyinthatBrownIslandJamheputonlastyear.Thatrunthasfattenedmypocketsalotovertheyears,andIgottabehonestwithyou,Ike,itdon’tseemlikeyouwannasitdownandbreakbreadwiththisnigga.Idon’tthinkI’mgonnabeabletohelpyouout,homie.Ican’thaveyoumessingwithmybag,”Slicesaid.
Ikefeltthespitdryupinhismouth.He’dbeenafraidofthis.Timemakesloyaltythin.Peoplesheditlikesnakeskin.
“Oh,becauseheyourbusinesspartner?”
“Iknowwhatyouabouttosay,”Slicesaid.
“Iknowyoudo.CuzIwasmorethanyourbusinesspartner.Iwasyourboy.IwasLuther’sboy.I’veneveraskedyoufornothing.NotevenwhenIwentinside.YoutheonetoldmeyouwasgonnamakesureIwasstraightinthere.YoutheonetoldmeIhadnothingtoworryabout.YoutheonesaidMyaandIsiahwouldn’thavetoliftafinger.Yousaidtheywasfamily.Thenyousentherthreehundreddollars.Once.IputinworkandwhatdidIgetforit?FourniggastryingtopunkmeandawifewhohadtoworkthreejobstotakecareofoursonwhileIwasonsomeoldthug-lifeshit,”Ikesaid.Itdawnedonhimthathewasyelling.ThemonsterinthecornerpushedoffthewallbutSlicehelduphishand.
“Shitwascomplicated,Ike.Ain’tnoneofusknowRomello’scousinwashookedupwiththeEastCoastCrips.Wedidn’tknowtheywasrunningthingsinColdwater.Youwentinsideandwewasfightingforourlivesouthere.Shitgotrealfuckinghectic.DidIfuckupwithMyaandIsiah?Yeah,andthat’sonme.Butlet’sbereal.Ain’tnobodyputaguntoyourheadandmadeyougofindRomelloandbeathimtodeathinthemiddleofthestreet.That’sonyou,”Slicesaid.
Iketookastepforward.
“Yeahthat’sonme.Ikilledthatmotherfuckerwithmybarehandsinfrontofhismamaandhisgirl.Iwenttoprisonforsevenyearsandleftmyfamily.Iownthat.ButIdiditforyourbrother.IdiditfortheNorthRiverBoys.Ididitforyou.Ididitbecausenobodyelsewould.IcaredmoreaboutmycliquethanIdidmywomanandmyson.Igottaownthat,too.ButIknowifthingshadbeentheotherwayaroundandIhadbeentheonetogetmyheadblownoffinatrick’sbedthatwasrunningwiththeRolling80s,yourbrotherwouldhavedonethesamethingforme.That’swhatLutherwasabout.Yousayingthingsgotcomplicated.Butyouwonthewar.YouretiredtheRolling80s.MovedyourmamaandyourwholecrewoutthetrailerparkandupintoCarytown.Wheny’allwaspoppingbottlesandmakingitrain,Iwasshankingmotherfuckers.Whenyouwasfuckingstrippersandvideomodels,IwaslisteningtothatrevolutionarybullshitfromtheBlackGodCoalitionsoI’dhavesomebodytowatchmyback.WhenyouwasdrinkingCristalIwasdrinkingtoiletwine.IgotoutandInevercamelookingforyou.Iletitgothatyouhadmywifewipingpeople’sassesandhadmysonwearinghand-me-downs.ImadeapromisetothemthatIwouldnotbethepersonIusedtobe.ButnowI’mhereandI’masking…nah,I’mtellingyou:youoweme.Youowemywife.I’dsayyouowemysonbuthe’sdead.Andyouprotectingtheonepersonthatmightbeabletohelpmefindoutwhodidit.”Ikepaused.“WhatyouthinkLutherwouldsayrightnow?”
SlicestoodupandwalkedovertowhereIkewasstanding.IketoweredoverhimbutSlicedidn’tseemtonotice.Ikedroppedhishandstohissidesandspreadhisfeet.HemadeamentalnoteofwherethemonsterintheroomwasstandinginrelationtohimandSlice.HetensedhisshouldersandwaitedforSlicetomakeamove.
“Hemighthavebeenyourfriendbuthewasmybrother.Iknowwhatyoudidforus.Forhim.Butyouain’tgonnastandthereandrubitinmyfuckingface,”Slicesaid.
“I’mnot.I’mjuststatingthefacts.I’veneveraskedy’allfornothing.Ever.Butthisonething…Lance,heknowswherethisgirlisthatknowswhokilledmyboy.Theyshothimsixtimes.Lithimandhisfriendup.Thentheystoodoverthemandputtworightintheyface.Icouldn’tevenrecognizemyson.Ididn’tknowwhohewas.Myson,Lance,”Ikesaid.Washecrying?Hedidn’tknowandhedidn’tcare.HewastiredofhidinghowmuchithurttoloseIsiah.IfSliceandhisbehemothwantedtocallhimabitch,letthem.Tryingtoholdallthisagonyandgriefinsidewaslikewrestlingabagofpythons.Thegriefwaschokingthelifeoutofhim.
Sliceturnedhisgazetothewall.
“Youain’tplanningonputtingpawsonTariqareyou?”heasked.Ikeblinkedhiseyeshard.
“No.HeknowsthisgirlnamedTangerine.IthinksheknowswhokilledIsiahandDerek,”Ikesaid.Hepaused.He’dcalledDerekIsiah’sfriend.Thatwaswrong.Hewashishusband.HewasIsiah’shusband.Iketriedtosayitbuthismouthjustdidn’tseemtobeabletoformthewords.
“Tangerine.”Slicechuckled.
“Youknowher?”Ikeasked.
“Nah,butwithanamelikethat,Ibetshewearclearheels,”Slicesaid.
“Ijustwanttotalktoher.Tariqcanmakethathappen,”Ikesaid.
“Letmeaskyouthis.Ifshetellyouwhatyouwannaknow,thenwhat?”Sliceasked.Heseemedgenuinelycurious.
“Whatyoumean‘thenwhat’?”Ikesaid.
“Ijustdon’tseeyoubeing’boutitlikethat,Ike,”Slicesaid.IkesteppedclosertoSlice,crowdinghispersonalspace.
“ThenyoudoneforgotwhothefuckIam,”Ikesaid.SliceturnedhisgazebacktoIkeandsmiled.
“Thereheis.There’stheone-manRiot,”Slicesaid.HeturnedhisbacktoIke.
“Comebackinanhour.I’llhaveTariqhere,”Slicesaid.
“Thankyou,”Ikesaid.
Slicewalkedovertohisreclinerandsatdown.“Don’tthankme.Weevennow,Ike,”hesaid.Ikepickeduptheimpliedthreat.Heturnedtoleave.Slice’smanhandedhimbacktheknife.
“Youknow,IusedtobejealousofyouandLuther.HeusedtoactlikeyouwasmorehisbrotherthanIwas.Whenyouputthat187onRomello,itmademehateyoualittlebit,”Slicesaid.
“Youneverhadtobejealousofme.Luthertoldmetoalwayslookoutforyou,”Ikesaid.Slicelaughed.Itwasahollowsound.
“Thatmadeitevenworse,Ike.”
Ikewentthroughthevelvetcurtainsandheadedforthefrontdoorofthebarbershop.HewasalmostoutthedoorwhenhestoppedandwalkedovertothechairwhereCraigwassitting.TyronehadfinisheddyeingCraig’sbeard,andnowtheywerejustshootingtheshitaboutwhowasthebestrapperalive.
“Anddon’tsaythatwhiteboyEminem,”Craigsaid.
“Man,youcrazy.Emabeast,”Tyronesaid.
“Healright,”Craigsaid.
“Youneedhearingaids,”Tyronesaid.
IkewentandstoodinfrontofCraig.Theothermanscowledathim.
“CanIhelpyou?”Craigsaid.Ikecockedhisheadtothesideandlookeddownathim.Heknewheshouldprobablyletitgobuthecouldn’t.HewishedsomeonehadsaidtohimwhathewasabouttosaytoCraig.
“IfIsnuckinyourhouseonenightandslityourson’sthroat,Iguaranteethelastthingyouwouldbeworryingaboutwasifhewasgayornot,”Ikesaid.
“Thefuckyousaytome?”Craigsaid.
“Youheardme.Youjustdon’twannalisten,”Ikesaid.Craigstartedtoriseoutofhischair.
“Yougetupoutthatchair,theygonnabepickingpiecesofyououtthewallsforaweek.Trustme,youdon’twantnoneofthis,”Ikesaid.Craigstartedtorespond,butIkegavehimhisbackandwalkedoutofthebarbershop.
BuddyLeesatupstraightwhenIkegotinthetruck.Hisheadhadfinallystoppedspinning.
“What’stheword?”heasked.IkepulledBuddyLee’sknifeoutofhispocketandhandeditbacktohim.Hestartedthetruckandbackedoutoftheirparkingspot.
“Wegottawaitanhour.TheygonnabringTariqoverhere,”Ikesaid.
“YouthinkIgottimetogetatrim?Dotheycutwhite-boyhairinthere?”heasked.Ikeignoredhim.
“Hey,youalright?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Notevenclose,”Ikesaid.
“Placearoundherewecangetadrinkwhilewewait?”BuddyLeeasked.HeexpectedIketocuthiseyesathimagain,butthebigmansurprisedhim.
“Yeah,Icoulduseone,too,”Ikesaid.
THIRTY
Theyendedupatasquatcinder-blockbuildingthatsatonthesideofBeachRoadnearwhatwasleftoftheoldSwiftCreekBridge.AsignthatsatonspindlymetallegswithanexaggeratedarrowpointingatthebuildingletpassersbyknowtheSwiftCreekLoungewasopenforbusiness.Eventhoughitwasjustalittleaftertwo,thegravelparkinglotwashalffull.IkeparkedBuddyLee’struckandthetwoofthemwalkeduptothedoor.
“Foraguywhosaidheain’tbeenoutonthetowninadecade,yousurehadthisplacememorized,”BuddyLeesaid,
“Placeslikethisneverclose.Itwasherebeforeeitheroneofuswasborn,andit’llbeherelongafterwe’regone,”Ikesaid.Theinteriorofthebuildingwascastinblue-tingedshadowsilluminatedbytheneonCoorssignhangingoverthecashregister.Aquorumwaspostedupattheendofthechippedandscarredbar,loudlydebatingthemeritsofMoparenginesversusHemis.Anoldjukeboxsatnearapairofbatteredpooltables.Alitanyofdown-homebluessongspouredoutofthejukeboxoneafteranother.AbarroomDJhadprogrammedtheSwiftCreekLoungesoundtrackforthenexthourorso.Firstupwas“BornUnderaBadSign”byAlbertKing.
IkeandBuddyLeesatonapairofstoolsnearthedoor.BuddyLeewincedasheraisedhishandtogetthebartender’sattention.Aslimsisterinablacktanktopandjeanscameonoverandsmiledatthetwoofthem.
“WhatcanIgetyafellas?”
“TwoshotsofHenny,”Ikesaid.
“Yougotit,sugar,”thebartendersaid.Sheslippedawaytogettheirdrinks.
“What’sHenny?ImeanI’mgonnadrinkit,butI’mjustcurious,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Youain’tneverheardofHennessy?”Ikeasked.
“Imean,I’veheardofit,Ijustdidn’tknowithadanickname.Iguessit’sa…”BuddyLeesaid.Hestoppedandstudiedthebottlesbehindthebar.
“It’swhat?ABlackthing?”Ikeasked.BuddyLeesuckedathisteeth.
“Youknow,Ibetyouthinking,Hekeepssayingheain’tracistbuthesuresayingsomeracistshit,”BuddyLeesaid.Thebartenderdroppedofftheirdrinks.Ikegrabbedhisshotglass.
“I’velearnedtoalwaysbereadytobedisappointedbywhitepeople.Doesn’talwayshappen,butwhenitdoes,itdon’tshockmeanymore.Youain’ttheworstI’vehadtodealwith,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeranhisfingeraroundtherimofhisglass.
“Iain’ttryingmakenoexcuses,butwhenyougrowuparoundpeople—yourauntsanduncles,yourgrandparents,yourbrothersandsisters,yourfriends—allofthemsayingthingsthatyoudon’teventhinkaboutbeingwrongorright,youdon’tputthattitleonyourself.LikeyourememberwhentheyusedtoplayTheTenCommandantsontelevisioneveryEaster?Andthere’sthispartwherethisboytellshisgranddaddytolookattheNubians?Mygranddaddyonmymama’ssidewouldalwaysmakethisjokeaboutthemnotbeingNubians,theyjust,well,youknowwhathesaid.AndIusedtolaughatthatjokebecauseitwasmygranddaddysayingit.Ineverthought,Ineverhadtothinkhowsomebodylikeyouwouldfeelaboutthatjoke.ThenwhenIgotolderIstoppedthinkingaboutit,becauseifthatjokewasfuckedup,thenwhatdidthatsayaboutmygranddaddy?WhatdidthatsayaboutmethatIlaughedatit?”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikedownedhisshot.Thecognacburnedinacomforting,familiarway.Foramomenthewastwenty-oneagain.
“Thatyouignorantashell,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,well,Iguessthat’saprettygoodassessment,”BuddyLeesaid.
“It’seasiertokeepyourheadinthesandthanitistotryandseethingsfromsomebodyelse’spointofview.There’sareasonwhytheysayignoranceisbliss,”Ikesaid.
“SoyoudothinkI’mracist,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Ithinkmaybeforthefirsttimeinyourlifeyou’reseeingwhattheworldlookslikeforpeoplethatdon’tlooklikeyou.Imeanyoustillignorantashell,butyoulearning.Butthen,soamI.Webothlearning.Webothdonesaidanddidshitthatwewishwecouldtakeback.Ithinkifyoufigureoutatonepointinyourlifeyouwasaterribleperson,youcanstartgettingbetter.Starttreatingpeoplebetter.Likeaslongasyouwouldn’tlaughatthatjokenow,Ithinkyouontherightroad.SameasifthenexttimeIgetofferedadrinkIdon’tgothehelloffandjustwalkaway,insteadofjackingsomebodyupbecausetheyhadthenervetothinkIwasinagaybartomeetsomebody,”Ikesaid.Heheldhisshotglassupandmotionedforthebartender.
BuddyLeedownedhisshot,too.Hegaspedashesattheglassdownonthebar.
“Goddamnthatshitwilltakethepaintoffaballhitch.Iguessyou’reright.Feelslikewewaitedprettylateinthedaytostartlearningshit,”BuddyLeesaid.Thebartenderbroughtthemtwomoreshots.
“Dayain’toveryet,”Ikesaid.
Ikedrovethembacktothebarbershop.Theparkinglotwasvirtuallydeserted.TherewasablackJaguarparkednearthebarbershop.TheonlyothervehicleintheparkinglotwasBuddyLee’struck.Ikeshutoffthetruck.
“Looklikeeveryonewenthomeearly,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Sliceprobablysenteverybodyhome.Mr.GetDownishometownroyalty.Foolswouldbeallupinhisgrillaskingforautographsandshit,”Ikesaid.
“Hecanshutdownthewholestripmall?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Heownsthestripmall,”Ikesaid.
WhentheyenteredthebarbershopTariqwassittinginthelastchairnearthecurtains.Hehadhishandinhislaplikehewassittingforanolddaguerreotypephoto.Hiseyeswereshiningandbestial.Slicewassittinginametalfoldingchairneartheentrancetotheadjoiningrestaurant.HisbodyguardwasstandingbehindTariqasifhewereabouttogivehimatrim.
“Yougotfifteenminutes,”Slicesaid.IketookasteptowardTariq.
“Youcan’ttouchhim.Askyourquestions,”Slicesaid.Ikesteppedback.BuddyLeescratchedhischin.
“WeknowyouknowwhereTangerineis.Likewesaid,weain’ttryingtohurther.Wejustneedtotalktoher,”BuddyLeesaid.Tariq’schestroseandfellinrapidsuccession.
“Wecan’ttouchyounow.Butyouhavetoleaveeventually,”Ikesaid.Tariqflinched.
“I’mwithSlice.Youheardwhathesaid,”Tariqsaid.Hispreviousformidabilitywasgone.Hesoundedlikeakidassertinghisallegiancetothebiggestbullyontheplayground.IkenoddedatBuddyLee.
“Hissonisdead.Mine,too.DoyoureallythinkIgiveafuckwhoyouwith?YoutelluswhereTangerineisandyouneverhavetowonderifthatnoiseoutsideyourwindowismecomingforyouwithapairofpliersandanicepick,”Ikesaid.Tariqconsideredhishandsasifthiswerethefirsttimehe’devernoticedthem.IfSlicewasperturbedbythethreat,hewaskeepinghisfeelingstohimselfashescrolledthroughhisphone.
“Look,wetryingtohelpher.Becausethepeoplewhokilledourboysarestilllookingforher,andtheyain’tgonnastop.Wherevershewent,itain’tfuckingfarenough,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Itoldhertojuststaywithme,butshesaidshedidn’twanttopullmeintoit.Saidshewasgonnagowherenoonewouldeverthinktolookforher.Gotowheretheghostsare,”Tariqsaid.TheswaggerofMr.GetDownwasallgone.Allthatwasleftbehindwasheartbreak.
“Where’sthat?”BuddyLeeasked.Tariqraisedhishead.
“Shesaidthepeoplechasingherwerekillers,”Tariqsaid.
“Soarewe,”Ikesaid.Tariqleanedhisheadback.
“Look,whathappenedthismorning.IwastryingtoprotectTangy,yaknow?”Tariqsaid.
“Youtelluswheresheisandallisforgiven,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeesnorted.Ikeshothimalook.BuddyLeeshrugged.HewasgettingusedtoIke’slooks.Tariqslumpedinthechair.
“ShetoldmeItalkedagoodgamebutIwasjustashookone.ThatIwasasocialmediagangster.Andshewasright.Mr.GetDownisjustanerdfromHuguenotHighSchoolwholearnedhowtoworkadrummachineandakeyboard.Y’alltherealthing,”Tariqsaid.Ikedidn’trespond.
“Cousin,youain’tgotnoidea.Nowwherethisgirlat?”BuddyLeesaid.Tariqputhisfaceinhishands.
“Ifyoufindher,takecareofher,okay?Promisethat.”
“Wegother,”Ikesaid.Tariqnodded.
“Shewenthome.BacktoAdam’sRoad.BacktoBowlingGreen,”Tariqsaid.
“What’sherrealname?IknowTangerineain’tonherdriver’slicense,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Idon’tknow.AllIeverknewwasTangerine,”Tariqsaid.Hisfaceshudderedlikehehadbittenintoalemon.
“Youlying.Youknowhername.Youdonecomethisfar;don’tholdbacknow,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Pliersandicepicks,”Ikesaid.Tariq’seyeswentfrombestialtohaunted.
“Uh…I…shit.HernamereallyisTangerine.TangerineFredrickson.Arewecoolnow?”Tariqpleaded.Ikerolledhisshoulders.Theywerestillsore.
“Wegood,”Ikesaid.
“IfitwasuptomeI’dfeedyouyourhanduntilyoushitfingers,butIguesswegood,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeshookhishead.
“Let’sgo,”Ikesaid.Theyturnedandheadedforthedoor.
“Weevennow.Rememberthat.Alldebtsarepaid,”Slicesaid.Ikestoppedandglancedoverhisshoulder.Slicewasstillscrollingthroughhisphone.
“Sure,”Ikesaid.
“BowlingGreenisaboutanhourawayifwetake301,”BuddyLeesaidoncetheyhadgottenbackinthetruck.
“Yeah.Youthinkhewastellingthetruth?”Ikesaid.
“Ikindabelievehewas.HegotoneoftheworsttellsIeverseeninmylife.Ihopehedon’tplaypoker.Besides,hescaredshitlessofyourfriend.Heain’tlying,”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikestartedthetruck.“Heain’tmyfriend,andheshouldbeterrifiedofhim.”
“See,thatwasn’tsobad.RiotmusthaveputthefearofGodinyouthewayyouwasgoingon,”Slicesaid.
“Thoseguys,theynotgonnahurther,arethey?Theynotgonnahurtme,either,right?Imeanwepartners.Theyknowthat,”Tariqasked.Sliceraisedhisheadfromhisphone.
“Devonte,takethisbabybacktoitscrib.”DevontegrabbedTariqbythearmandhalfcarriedhim,halfdraggedhimoutofthebarbershop.Slicetouchedthehomescreenonhisphone.Hiscallwasansweredonthesecondring.
“YoucallingtopickupthemMAC-10s?”Graysonasked.
“Mymanstoldyoutheytoohotrightnow.Can’tmovethosethingsnowhere,”Slicesaid.
“ThentowhatdoIowethepleasure?”Graysonsaid.Slicewaitedabeatbeforeanswering.
“RememberaboutamonthagowhenyouwassweatingeverybodyandtheymamaaboutagirlnamedTangerine?”Slicesaid.Graysonbreatheddeeplybutdidn’tspeak
“Oh,Igotyourattentionnow,SonsofAnarchy?”Slicesaid.
“Yougotmyinterest.YoutellmesomethingIcanuse,you’llgetmyattention,”Graysonsaid.Slicelaughed.
“First,let’slaydownwhatthispieceofinformationisworth,”Slicesaid.
“HowmuchbloodIgottalosetogetthisinfo?”Graysonasked.
“Notenoughforyoutomissit.I’mlookingtodiversifyoneofmyrevenuestreams,”Slicesaid.
“Aw,shit,”Graysonsaid.
“What’sthatabout?”Sliceasked.
“Nothing,youjustsoundlikesomebodyIknow.Gettothepoint,”Graysonsaid
“Yougotaconnecttoagoodcookerforice.Iwanttogetmeameetwithhim.Imaybewillingtotakeafewkilosoffhishands,”Slicesaid.
“IhopetoGodyouonaburner,”Graysonsaid.
“Ihaveaphoneforeverydayoftheweek.Now,canyousetitup?”Sliceasked.
“Ican,butIcan’tmakenopromises.Thatboytwitchy,”Graysonsaid.
“Icanhandletwitchy.Abagfullofhundredscandowondersforyouranxiety.”
“Alright.Whatyougot?”
“Damn,yourushyourladylikethis?Shit,”Slicesaid.
“Yougotsomethingornot,man?”Graysonsaid.
“Yeah,Igotsomethingforyou.IheardfromalittlebirdiethatshestayingoutnearaplacecalledAdam’sRoadinBowlingGreen.Ifyouleaverightnow,youmightbeatthetwodudeslookingforher,”Slicesaid.
“Twodudes?Wasoneofthemabig-asshossofaBlackdude?”Graysonsaid.
“Yeah,youknowhim?”
“Meandhimgotunfinishedbusiness.Adam’sRoad,right?”Graysonsaid.
“Yeah.Let’smakethatmeethappennextweek,”Slicesaid.
“Yeah,Igotchaonthat.Hey,theBlack,heafriendofyours?Cuzhegonnagetthatwork,”Graysonsaid.
Sliceletafewsecondstickby.“Nah.Dowhatyougottado.”
THIRTY-ONE
IkepulledoutoftheparkinglotandheadedfortheoldRoute207thatwouldtakethemtothePowhiteParkwaythatcutthroughRichmond,thento301.
BuddyLeelayhisheadagainstthewindowastheyrodethroughtherollinghillsofRoute301.AcresoflushfarmlandthatweredottedwithmilesofwhitefencinginterruptedhereandtherebyhomesolderthanIkeandBuddyLeecombined.Wherethelandhadn’tbeenclaimedforgrazingorgrowing,dogwoodscompetedwithpinetreesandmaplesfortheattentionsoftheirmutuallover,thesun.
BuddyLeeflickedontheradio,andMerleHaggard’srumblingbaritonecamewarblingthroughthespeakerssinging“MamaTried.”
“MamatriedbutDaddydidn’tgiveadamn,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Ithoughtyousaidyourdaddytaughtyouallthattravelers’shit.Tellsandallthat,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeclosedhiseyes.
“Hedid.Hewasalsoanastydrunkwholiketosmackmymamaaroundifthemacaroniandcheesewastoodry.Hecameandwentsooftenhewaslikeafriendwholookedyouupwhenhewasintown.Hehadabunchofoutsidechildren.Chetisoneofthem.SowasDeak.IgotahalfIndiansisterinMattaponi.Shit,IalwayssaidIwasn’tgonnabelikehimifIhadkids.Well,Ikeptthatpromise.Iwasworse,”BuddyLeesaid.
“MymamaanddaddydiedwhenIwasnine.HitaslickpatchonRoute17andwentflyingoffthesideoftheColemanBridge.Meandmysistermovedinwithmydaddy’sparents.Iputmygrandparentsthroughhell,andalltheyeverdidwastryandloveme.Iwassoangry.Iusedtowalkaroundwaitingforanexcusetogooff.AngryatGodfortakingmyparents,angryatmyparentsfordying,angryatmygrandparentsfortryingtopretendeverythingwasgonnabealright.Iwassomessedup.FellinwithLutherandhiscrew.Heletmeuseallthatanger.Pointedmeatatargetlikeagunandletmegooff,”Ikesaid.Hepassedatruckpullingahorsetrailer.
“IloveIsiah,Ireallydo,buttherearedaysIthinkIshouldn’thavehadason.Iwastoomessedupintheheadtobeagoodfather,”Ikesaid.
“Ithinkifyoulovedhimanddidthebestyoucould,youwasagooddaddy.That’swhatItellmyselfanyway,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Youreallybelievethat?”Ikeasked.
“MostdaysIdo.”
“Igotsomadwhenhecameout,”Ikesaid.Heeasedthetruckthroughasharpcurvethattookthempastacoupleofhorseslazilygrazinginanexpansivepasture.
“Youdidn’tknowbefore?IcaughtDerekkissinganotherboy,butIknewwaybeforethat,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Iknew.IthinkdeepdowninsideIalwaysknewbutIdidn’twanttoacceptit.Icouldn’tacceptit.Icouldn’twrapmymindaroundit,yaknow?Likewhatdidthatmean?Itwaslikehe’dtoldmehewasanalien.Shitjustseemedunnaturaltome,”Ikesaid.
“Butyoustilllovedhim.Youneverstoppedlovinghim,right?”BuddyLeeasked.SecondswentbybeforeIkeanswered.
“Itriedtostoplovinghim.ForawhileIcouldn’tevenlookathim.AllIcouldseewashimdoingshitwithsomeguy.I’msorry.Derekwasn’tsomeguy.”
“Nah,it’sokay.Imean,Igetwhatyousaying,butIneverwantedtostoplovingDerek.Ijustwantedhimtobenormal.Iguessittookmealongtimetogetit.”
“Getwhat?”
“Getthatwhat’snormalain’tuptome.Thatitdon’tfuckingmatterwhohewantedtowakeupnexttoaslongashewaswakingup,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikedrummedhisfingersagainstthesteeringwheel.
“Iwentupformanslaughter.Myhomiegottakenout,soIwentandfoundtheboywhogavethego-aheadandIbeathimtodeathinhismama’sbackyard.Stompedthatboyrightintotheground.IthoughtIwasstandingupformycrew.Buttheydidn’tstandupforme.IgotinsideandfoundoutIwasonmyfuckingown.Sowhenfourbrotherstriedtojumpmeandmakemetheircell-blockbitch,Ihadtogetonwithanewcrew,”Ikesaid.Heflexedhishand.
“Ididsomefoul-assshittogetthistat.ButIneededthebackup.TheboyIkilledwashookedupwiththeEastSideCrips.That’swhyIjoinedtheBlackGods.Iwasscared.AlotofwhatIdidbackthenwasbecauseIwasscared.ButallthosethingsIhadtodofuckedmeupinthehead,”Ikesaid.
“Isawthingsinside,too.Igetwhatyousaying.Inthereyoucan’tbesoftortheyknockoutyourfrontteethandmakeyouputyourhairinpigtailsandsellyouforaboxofsmokes.Buteverythingaboutprisonisallthewayfuckedup,man.Peopleain’tsupposedtolivelikethat,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Inevercouldshakeit,yaknow?It’slikeitmademelookateverythingthroughconvicteyes.HecameoutthedayheandDerekgraduatedfromcollege.Wehadacookoutatthehouse.Hadalotofpeopleoverthere.MysisterSylviawastherewithherhusband.Peoplefromwork.Iwasatthegrillburningitup,yaknow?AndhebroughtDerekover.Irememberhetookhishand.AndIpretendedlikeIdidn’tseeit,andIsiahstartssaying‘Dad,Ihavetotellyousomething,’andIjustkeepflippingthemgoddamnburgersbecauseIknowwhatheisgonnasayandIdon’twanttohear,andhesays‘Dad,Derekisn’tjustmyfriend.He’smyboyfriend.Dad,I’mgay.I’mgayandIlovehim,’”Ikesaid.Hetookadeepbreath.
“Ifuckinglostit.Iwentcrazy.Iflippedthegrillover.Foodandcharcoalwenteverywhere.ApieceofcharcoallandedonIsiah’sarm,burnedhimprettybad.Isaid…Isaidsometerribleshit.TohimandDerek.Myawascryingandyellingatme.PeoplewasstaringatmelikeIwasananimal.Iwasmadashell.Embarrassed.Iwentinsideandslammedthedoorsohardtheglassbroke,”Ikesaid.
“AndallIkeptthinkingwaswhydidhehavetotellme?Whythatday?Whycouldn’thehavekeptthattohimself?Ididn’tneedtoknowthatshit,right?Ikeptmakingitallaboutme.Tookmeyearstounderstandhetoldmebecauseeventhoughwedidn’tgetalong,hewantedmetoknowhewashappy.Hewantedtosharethatwithme,andIfuckeditup.Ilethimdown,”Ikesaid.Thelumpinhisthroatfeltlikehehadswallowedabrick.BuddyLeeclearedhisthroat.
“NeitheroneofuswasHowardCunningham.Andstilltheboysmadesomethingofthemselves.Theyweregoodtotheirfriends,goodtoeachother,goodtothatlittlegirl.Evenwithdaddieslikeustheygrewuptobegoodmen.Nomatterhowmanytimesweletthemdown,theycameoutalright,”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikeshookhishead.“WegonnafindTangerine.Wegonnafindwhodidthis.We’redonelettingthemdown.”
Forty-fiveminuteslatertheypassedalargeblackwoodensignwithbright-greenlettersthatspelledoutBOWLINGGREEN.Thetruckbegantolose,thengain,power.Ikeputthepedaltothefloor.Theenginewhinedlikeanewborn.
“Weneedsomegas,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikesawagasstationwithtwopumpsupaheadontheright.Hepulledinandrolleduptothepumpjustastheenginedied
“Thegashandsaysyouhaveaquartertankleft,”Ikesaid.
“WhatcanItellya?Shitdon’tworklikeitusedto.Thatgoesforthetruckandtheowner,”BuddyLeesaid.Hegotoutandstretchedhisarmstothesky.Hisbacksnapped,crackled,andpoppedlikeabowlofRiceKrispies.
“I’llgetthegasifyoupumpit.Ineedabeer,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Hey,getmeone,too,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeraisedhiseyebrow.“Beenalongday.”
BuddyLeelimpedacrosstheparkinglotandenteredthestore.HegrabbedaBuschtallboycanforhimselfandgotIkeaBudweiser.Hesatthebeeronthecounter.
“Letmeget,uh,twenty-fiveonpumpseven,”BuddyLeesaid.Theclerk,anolderwhitewomanwithamopofunrulygrayhair,baggedhisbeerandrangupthegas.
“$29.48,”shesaid.BuddyLeefiguredshemusthavebeensmokingsinceshewasafetus.Hehandedhertwotwenties.
“Youfromaroundhere?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Beenherethirteenyears.MoveddownfromDCwithmyex-husband.Hewasahorseman.WorkedonthefarmwhereSecretariatwasborn,”shesaid.
“Noshit?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah,hewasbetterwithhorsesthanhewaswithmarriage,”theclerksaid.
“Say,youdon’tknowagirlnameofTangerineFredricksondoyou?”BuddyLeeasked.Theclerkcurledherlipslikeshehadbittenintoanappleandseenhalfaworm.
“Youafriend?”shesaid.
“Nah,it’skindofafunnystory.Ifoundherpursewithherlicenseandstuffinit,butI’mnotfromaroundhereandforthelifemeIcan’tfindthisaddress.Youknowwhereaboutsshelives?Maybegivemealandmarkorsomething?HerIDsaysAdam’sRoadbutmyGPSactinglikeitgotTourette’s,”BuddyLeesaidwithasmile.Theclerkdidn’tsmileback.
“LunetteFredricksonlivesoutnearthewatertoweronAdam’sRoad.Thesigngotshotdownlastyearandthecountyain’treplacedityet.”
“Lunette,huh?SherelatedtoTangerine,Iguess?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Yeah,”theclerksaid.Thesourexpressiononherfacedeepened.
“Okay,well,thankyou,”BuddyLeesaid.Hetookhischangeandheadedforthedoor.Hesnuckaglanceattheclerkonhiswayout.
Youbetterhopethewinddon’tchangeoryourfaceisgonnastaylikethat,BuddyLeethought.Hewalkedouttothetruck.Carsandtruckszippedbyonthetwo-lanehighwaythatranpastthegasstation.Ikewasalreadypumpingthegas.BuddyLeegotinandputIke’sbeerinthedrinkholderbeforecrackingopenhisown.
“Thanks,”Ikesaid.Hegrabbedthebeerandkilledmostofitinonegulp.
“Ithinkweshouldbelookingforaroadnexttothewatertower.Adam’sRoad,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Howyouknowthat?”Ikeasked.
“Ihadatalkwiththeclerkinside.ShegavesomeinfoonaLunetteFredrickson,whoisrelatedtoTangerine.”
“Nowwhat?WegodownAdam’sRoadandstopateveryhouseandaskthemiftheyknowTangerine?”Ikeasked.
“Yougotabetteridea?”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeshrugged.
“Youtheonethatknocks.ThisisMAGAcountry,”Ikesaid.
Intheenditonlytooktwohouses.Atthefirsthousenooneanswered.Atthesecondone,atrailerwithawoodenramp,ayoungwhiteguywithaConfederate-flagtattooonhischestdirectedthemtothelasthouseonAdam’sRoad.Theydrovepastasignthatalertedthemtheywereapproachingtheendofstatemaintenance.Ontheleftsideoftheroadwasamailboxatthebeginningofalongdirtlane.ThenameFREDRICKSONwaswrittenonthemailboxinsmallstick-onletters.
“Thisisit,Iguess,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeebitathisthumbnail.
“Youknow,youwasright.”
“Aboutwhat?”Ikesaid.
“Idon’tthinkthosepeoplewouldhavetalkedtoyouthewaytheydidtome,”BuddyLeesaid.TheConfederate-flagtattoounfurledinhismind.
“Iguessyouwokenow,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeesawhimsmirkoutthecornerofhiseye.HeturneddownthelaneandnavigatedthepotholesthatdottedtheroadliketheyweredrivingoverasliceofSwisscheese.BuddyLeepeeredoutthewindowastheypassedthemagnoliatreesthatlinedthedriveway.Thecraggyroadendedinabarrenfrontyardandaramshackletwo-storyhousewithadecayingporchthatwrappedaroundmostofthefirstfloor.Anexpansivemeadowovergrownwithkudzuandhoneysucklethatseemedtogoonforacresmadeupthebackyard.Afour-doorsedanwithfourdifferent-coloreddoorssatnearthebottomstepoftheporch.Ikepulledupnexttothesedanonthepassengersidenearthefarrightsideoftheporchandkilledtheengine.
“Hereweare,”Ikesaid.
“Howyouwannaplaythis?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Playitstraight.Tellherwhat’sup.AskwhowastheguyandifheknewaboutIsiahandDerek,”Ikesaid.
“Howhardareweleaningonher?”BuddyLeeasked.
“She’sawoman.I’mnotleaningonheratall.Youain’t,either,”Ikesaid
“Okay,butifshestonewallsus,Igotsomegirlcousinswecancall,”BuddyLeesaid.Hegrabbedthegunandtuckeditinhiswaistbandnearthesmallofhisback.
“Idon’tthinkwegonnaneedthat,”Ikesaid.
“Bettertohaveitandnotneeditthanneeditandnothaveit,”BuddyLeesaid.
Theyclimbedoutofthetruckandmadetheirwaytothefrontdoorofthehouse.Theybothstoppedafteracoupleofsteps.
Ayoungwomanhadsteppedoutontotheporch.Midnight-blackhairfelldowntothesmallofherback.Herskinwasnearlythecolorofburnishedbronze.UnderanyothercircumstancesBuddyLeewouldhavefoundherravishing.Herbigbrowndoeeyespeekedoutatthemunderflowinglashes.
Theshotgunshewaspointingatthemcastashadowthatdimmedherloveliness.
“Yeah,she’sadefenselessdamselingoddamndistress,”BuddyLeesaid.
THIRTY-TWO
“Heyeasynow,sis,wejustwannatalk,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Whateveryousellingweain’tbuying.Whateveryouwannatalkaboutweain’tlistening,”thewomansaid.
“AreyouTangerine?”Ikeasked.Sheswungthebarreloftheshotguninhisdirection.Ikenoticedshehadthestockcradledinthecrookofherarmandwasholdingthepumpwiththeoppositehand.Butherfingerwasn’tinthetriggerguard.Ikestudiedher.Thetrembleofherfulllips.Thewildrapidmovementofhereyes.Theydartedsidetosidelikeweaselstrappedinacage.Shewasscared.Shewasnervous.Shewasgorgeous.Shewasalotofthings,butakillerwasn’toneofthem.Heknewwhatakillerlookedlike.Hesawoneinthemirroreveryday.
“WhoIamdoesn’tmatter,papi.NowyouanddiscountSamElliottgetbackinyourtruckandgetoutofhere,”Tangerinesaid.
“That’sthesecondtimeI’vebeencomparedtothatol’boyinaless-than-flatteringway.Ithinkmyfeelingsstartingtogethurt,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Ohgee,I’msorry.Maybeyoushouldleaveandseektherapy,”Tangerinesaid.
“Isiahwaskindtoyou.Derekwantedtohelpyou.Isiahwasmyson.Derekwashis.Theydiedbecauseofwhatyoutoldthem.Oursonsaredeadbecauseofyou.Theleastyoucandoistalktous,”Ikesaid.
Tangerineflinched.Ikethoughtshewasbattinghereyelashesathimuntilhesawthedarklinesofmascarastarttotrickledownhercheeks.Ikewassicktodeathoftears.Hisown,Mya’s.Isiahwasthestarintheiruniverse.Whenhehaddiedthatstarhadcollapsedinonitselfcreatingablackhole.Thatblackholeswallowedeveryounceofjoytheyhadeverfelt.Allbecausethisgirlontheporchhadasecretloverwhowaswillingtokilltostayasecret.Shehadn’tpulledthetriggerbutshewasdamnsureinvolved.Letherweepuntilshecriedblood.
“Ididn’tmeanforanyofthattohappen,”Tangerinesaid.ThestreaksonherfacegaveheraLoneRangermask.
“Thenputdowntheseed-sowerandtalktous,girl,”BuddyLeesaid.Tangerinebitherbottomlip.Ikewatchedthebarreloftheshotgunlowerinminuteincrements.Thewindstirred,engulfingtheminthescentofmagnolias.
“Comeoninside,”Tangerinesaid.
“I’llfeelbetterwhenthatscattergunain’tinherhands,”BuddyLeewhispered.
“Ifshewasgonnashootusshewouldhavedoneitalready,”Ikesaid.
“Ohwell,that’sgood,”BuddyLeesaid.
Theysteppedupontheporchandenteredthehouse.Thescentofwhiskeypermeatedthefoyerandthefrontroom.Asaggysofasatinthemiddleofthefrontroom.Grainyimagesflickeredacrossanancientfloor-modeltelevisionthatsatnearthecouchatanangle.Adiningtablestuckhalfwayoutofakitchenandintothelivingroom.Tangerineplacedtheshotgunonthetable.
“Terry,whoisthat?”
Atallwhitewomancamefromthebackofthehouse.Shewaswearingafloralprinthousedressandflip-flops.Herdoughyfacewaspartiallyhiddenbylankblondcurlsthatspilledtoherchin.
“Tangerine,Ma.MynameisTangerine,andit’snobody.Golaydown,”Tangerinesaid.MaacknowledgedIkebuthereyeslingeredonBuddyLee.
“No,no,wehaveguests.Inviteyourfriendsin.I’llmakesomedrinks,”Masaid.
“YoumustbeLunette.Ilikethewayyouthink,”BuddyLeesaid.Hegaveherawink.Lunettegiggled.
“Ma,theyain’tgonnabeherethatlong,”Tangerinesaid.
“Well,theycanatleaststayforonedrink,”Lunettesaid.Withthemattersettled,sheturnedandheadedbackintotherearofthehouse.BuddyLeeheardhermovingaroundinthekitchen.Hecouldseethatthehallwayhadacut-throughthatledtothekitchen.
“Sit,”Tangerinesaid.IkeandBuddyLeewentintothefrontroom.Inadditiontothesofatherewasareclinerandanottoman.IkeandBuddyLeesatonthesofaandTangerinesatinthechair.Iketookintherestoftheroom.Therewasawoodstoveinthefarcorner.Framedpictureswerescatteredovertheweatheredwallsathaphazardintervals.IkesawayoungerversionofLunetteandadiminutivebrown-skinnedmaninsomeofthem.InotherstherewasanolderLunette,withafewmoremilesonherfaceandabright-eyedlittleboywithamixtureofherandthebrown-skinnedbrother’sfeatures.Asthepeopleinthephotosaged,thedistancebetweenthemincreased.Thebrown-skinnedbrotherwasconspicuousbyhisabsenceinmostofthelaterpictures.
“ItoldIsiahIhadchangedmymind.Ididn’twanttodotheinterviewanymore.Sohowdoyouknowwhathappenedtothemhasanythingtodowithme?”Tangerinesaid.
“Becausethepeopleatmyboy’sjobheardhimsaythefellayouwasfuckingwasatwo-facedsonofabitch.Thenhimandhishusbandendupdeadwiththeirbrainsalloverthesidewalk,”BuddyLeesaid.TangerineflinchedatthevitriolinBuddyLee’swords.
“Itoldthemitwasdangerous.Itoldthem,butDerekwasmadandIsiahwasdetermined.Theydidn’tunderstandwhattheyweredealingwithatall.That’snotmyfault.IfyouthinkIwantedthemtodieyoucantakemeuponmyfirstofferandgetthefuckoutofhere,”Tangerinesaid.Ikejumpedintothefray.
“Look,allwewantfromyouisthenameoftheguyyouwereseeing.Whoishe?We’lltakecareoftherest,”hesaid.
“I’mnottellingyouthat.Ishouldn’thavetoldDerekandIsiah.Ishouldhavejustletitgowhenhebrokethingsoff.Hislifeiscomplicated.IknewthatwhenImethim.Look,IwasdrunkandIwasventingattheparty.Iwasallupinmyfeelings.Thatwasamistake,”Tangerinesaid.
“TellingDerekaboutyourboyfriend?”Ikesaid.
“Yeah.Thattoo,”Tangerinesaid.Ikecouldseetheresemblancetohermother,butshehadmoreincommonwiththeboyinthepictures.
“Ifyoudon’twanttotellus,tellthecops,”BuddyLeesaid.Iketurnedandfacedhim.Hecouldn’thavebeenmoreshockedifBuddyLeehadgrownasecondheadonhisshoulder.
“IwanttofindthepeoplewhodidthisandIdon’tcarehowitgetsdone.Ifyoudon’twanttotellus,tellthefuckingcops,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’msorrybutIcan’tbeapartofthis,”Tangerinesaid.
“Apartofthis?Youarethis.It’sallaboutyou.Youkilledmysonandhis…husband,butallyoucareaboutissavingyourownass,”Ikesaid.
“Listen,babyboy,Idon’tknowifyounoticed,buttheonlypersonwhocaresaboutmyassisme.Don’tcomeinherelayingyourbagatmyfeet.Youholleringabouthowmuchyoucareaboutyourdeadgaysonsbecauseyoutreatedthemlikeshitwhentheywerealive,”Tangerinesaid.Shepushedalockofhairoutofherface.Ikeshotupoffthecouch.Hisfistswereclenchedtight.
“Youdon’tknowshitaboutmeandmyson,”Ikesaid.
“Oh,Idon’t?Ibetyoutellpeoplehowmuchyoulovedhim,butyouonlylovedpartsofhim.Notallofhim.Noteverything.Nowyouwantmetoriskmylifetomakeyoufeelbetteraboutyourselves.Thatain’tmyjob,booboo,”Tangerinesaid.Iketookasteptowardher.Shelookedupathimandsmiled.
“Iknowyou.I’vealwaysknownmenlikeyou.YoustrutaroundlikeBillyBadass,butyoulietopeopleaboutyoursonandhis‘roommate,’”Tangerinesaidasshemadethesignforairquotes.Ikefelthisfistsunfurl.Theaccuracyofherstatementmadehisheadhurt.Itwaslikeshehadbeenpeepinginhiswindowforthelasttenyears.
“Weknowweain’tshit.Youain’tgottatellus.Wedoenoughofthattoourselveseveryday.Butthatdon’tmeanourboysshouldrotinthegroundwhileyourboyfriendgetstoskipallacrossGod’sgreenearthbecauseyou’retoochickenshittocomeforward.Iknowyouknowhe’slookingforyou.Hegotsomebadassbikerboystryingtohuntyoudown.Hewantsthemtotakethetopofyourheadoff.Nowifwefoundyou,howlongyouthinkit’sgonnatakebeforetheydo,too?Youcomewithusandyoutellthecops,theycanprotectyou,”BuddyLeesaid.
“No,theycan’t.Everythingthat’sgoingon,it’snothim.He’stiedintoasituationthathecan’tcontrol.Thepeopleheanswerstoaretheonesbehindthis.Rich-asswannabemoversandshakerswhocontroleveryoneandeverythingintheirorbit.He’sasmuchavictiminallthisas—”
“IfyousayIsiahandDerek,wearegoingtohaveafuckingproblem,”Ikesaid.Tangerinelickedherlips.
“Heoncetoldmetheywantedhimtobealionandaliondoesn’tfeelguiltyforeatingasheep.They’veabusedhimallhislifeandtheydon’tcarehowbrokenheis.Youhavenoideawhatkindofshityou’redealingwith,”Tangerinesaid.Herhazeleyesseemedtoglow.
“Youdon’treallybelievethathorseshit,doyou?Heistryingtokillyourassandmountitonhiswall,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’mtellingyou,youdon’tknowhim.Youdon’tknowwhathe’sgoingthrough.Thisiswaybiggerthanyouthink,”Tangerinesaid.
“Hekilledmyson.IknowallIneedtoknowexcepthisname,”Ikesaid.
“Drinks!IhopeyoulikeCubalibres,”Lunettesaid.Shehadfourglassesonaplastictray.Shesatthetrayontheottomanandstartedhandingouttherum-and-cokeconcoctions.
“Thankyou,ma’am,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Myname’sLunette,notma’am.YoucancallmeSugarifyouwant,though.”ShewinkedatBuddyLee,whokilledhisdrinkintwogulps.IkeheldhisinanirongripashefocusedonTangerine.Tangerinetookasip.Thistimeshedidbathereyesathim.
“Youthinkingabouthittingme,aren’tyou?Thatyourkink?”sheasked.
“No.I’mthinkingIwishmysonhadn’ttriedtohelpyou,butthatwasthekindofmanhewas.Hewouldhelpanybody.Evensomeonewhodidn’tgiveadamnabouthim,”Ikesaid.
“Tryingtoguiltmeain’tagoodlook,babyboy,”Tangerinesaid.Ikethoughtshemeantforittosoundhard,butitcameoutflat.
“I’mnottryingtoguiltyou.I’mstatingfacts.”
Tangerineopenedhermouthtorespond,butthenthesoundofacardoorslammingcamefromthefrontyard.Ikestood.Theskinonthebackofhisneckprickledlikeaghostwasticklinghim.HelockedeyeswithBuddyLee.
“Ihaven’thadthesemanyguestssincebeforeyourdaddyleft,”Lunettesaid.Shesashayedtowardthedoor.Theicecubesinherglassclinkedlikecastanets
“Ma,whatareyoudoing?Itoldyouwegottabecareful,”Tangerinesaid.ShepoppedupandgrabbedLunettebythearm.
“I’mgonnaseewhoitis,”sheslurred.Ikewonderedhowmuchrumshe’dputinherdrink.Hesathisglassdownontheottoman.
“Wait.Letmetakealook,”Ikesaid.Hewenttothewindowontheleftsideofthedoorjamb.Peeringthroughthefilthypaneofglasshesawablueminivan.Ithadparkedontheothersideofthesedantothefarleftoftheirtruck.Itwasaccompaniedbythreemotorcycles.Themotorcycleshadparkedinthegapbetweenthevanandthesedan.
Sixmenwerewalkingtowardthehouse.Theyallhadonbaseballcapspulledlowandtheywereallholdingguns.
“Getdown!”Ikeyelled.LunettebrokefreefromTangerine’sgraspandwalkedtowardBuddyLee.
“Whatishetalkingabout,handsome?”sheaskedwithasmileassheswirledherdrink.
Gunfireeruptedfromoutside.Theinteriorofthehousebecameahellscapeofshatteredglass,woodsplinters,andfragmentedSheetrock.Lunette’sbodydidashudderingboxstepasbulletstorethroughherchestandbelly.Herfloralhousedresswasdrenchedinblood,turningthedaisiesonittoroses.TangerinelaunchedherselfathermotherevenasBuddyLeereachedoutforherandtriedtopullherdown.Ikewasonhisstomachandpullinghimselfalongthefloor.Lunette’sbodyfoldedinonitselfandcrumpled.Herglassslippedfromherhandandrolledalongtheunevenwoodfloor.
FootstepspoundedontheporchasIkereachedthediningroomtable.Thefrontdoorburstopenfromoneswiftkick.justasIkereachedupandgrabbedthestockoftheshotgun.Hepumpedaroundandaimedatthemaninthedoorway.
Cheddarpaused.Hehadn’texpectedtobestaringdownthebarrelofa12-gauge.Ikeaimedatthegeneralareaofhisheadandpulledthetrigger.HalfofCheddar’sfaceevaporatedinaredmistofflesh,bone,andbrainmatter.Hisbaseballcapflewoffwhatwasleftofhisheadandflutteredtothefloorashisbodyfellhalfin,halfoutthefrontdoor.Ikepumpedtheshotgunagain,expellingthespentshellandslidinganotheroneinthechamber.ThesecondmanontheporchjumpedsidewaysasIkeaimedathischest.Ikepulledthetriggerandtheshotgunroaredagainevenasthethirdscurriedbacktothevan.ThebuckshotcaughtGremlinwherehisthighbecameapartofhisabdomen,blastinghimofftheporch.Whenhehittheground,hislargeandsmallintestinesbegantounspoollikearibbonofsaltwatertaffysoakedinmerlot.
Ikepumpedtheshotgunagain.Thespentshellwasexpelledagainbutthistimeitwasn’treplaced.
“Buddy,shoot!”Ikeyelled.
BuddyLeepoppedhisheadupoverthebackofthesofawherehehadlandedwithTangerineunderhim.Hepulledthegunfromhiswaistbandandtookaimatthefourmenwhoweremovingtowardthehouseinacrouch.Hewasaterribleshot.Hethoughthewingedonewhiletheotherthreeranforcover.
Ikescurriedacrosstothedeadmaninthedoorwayandgrabbedtheguninhishand.Itwasasubmachinegun.EitheraMAC-10orUzi,hewasn’tsure.Ikeaimedatthevanandthesedanandunloaded.
“Fuck,fuck,fuck!”Graysonscreamedasbulletspingedoffthesedan.Chunksofmetalandfiberglasssprayedhisfaceandeyes.Hescreamedagainandthistimeitwasawordlesshowlofunmitigatedfury.Heleanedthemachinegunaroundthefrontbumperandfiredblind.DometookapositionnexttoGrayson.
“Mygunjammed!”hehowled.Graysonignoredhim.
“OhGod.OhGod,myguts.Myfuckingguts!”Gremlinmoaned.
Ikeleanedbackinthedoorwayasanotherburstfromthethirdman’sgunrippedthroughtheair.Ikereturnedfireuntilheheardthedryclickofanemptymagazine.Movingonpureinstincthereachedinthedeadman’spocketsandfoundanotherclip.Ithadbeenyearssincehe’dhandledagun,buthishandsdidn’tseemtonotice.Theypoppedouttheclipandreplaceditwithferociousalacrity.HefiredoffaquickburstjustasGraysonpeepedaroundthefrontbumperofthesedan.
“Goforthetruck!”Ikeshouted.HetossedBuddyLeethekeys.BuddyLeesnatchedthekeysoutoftheairwithhisfreehand.HedraggedahowlingandcryingTangerinethroughthekitchenandoutthebackdoor.Ikefiredoffanotherburstatthesedan.
“Fuckthis!”Graysonspatout.Hestoodupandleanedacrossthehoodofthesedan.Hesweptthebarrelbackandforthacrosstheporchlayingdownalineoffirethatpluckedatthehouseliketheclawsofademon.Theexpelledshellsdancedacrossthehoodandrolledofftheedgeontotheground.
Ikescootedunderthewindow,stood,andfiredoutofthefracturedlowerpane.Graysondisappearedbehindthetrunkofthesedan.Ikekeptfiringinthegeneralvicinityofthesedan,thevan,andthebikesuntilheheardtheengineofBuddyLee’struckfireupandroarlikeatornado.
Graysonreplacedhisclip,movedtotherearofthevan,andfiredatthehouseagain.Hedidn’thearthetruckstartup,butsawitbackup,thenspinaroundsothatthebackwindowwasfacinghim.Heaimedatthetruckandfired.Thebackwindowshattered,butthenhereceivedarainofbulletsfromthehousethatforcedhimtohitthedeck.
Oneofhisotherbrothers,Gage,wascrawlingtowardhimholdinghisthigh.Hedidn’tseethelastmemberoftheirhitsquad,Kelso.HeandGremlinandCheddarhadriddentheirbikes.Dome,Gage,andKelsohadtakenthevan.He’dfiguredsixRareBreedwithgunswasmorethanenoughforanigger,ashitkicker,andaslut.
Hewasgettingrealsickofbeingwrong.
BuddyLeepulledTangerinedownasheflooredthetruck.Shardsrainedoverthenapeofhisneckanddownhisback.
“Shit,goddammit!”BuddyLeesaidashewheeledthetruckinawidearc,thenbackeduptothefrontofthehouseatanangle.Heheardascreamlikeahorsebeinggeldedasheranoverthelegsofthemanintheyard,crushingthembeneaththeweightofhisChevy.
Ikecamerunningoutofthehousefiringthemachinegunasheleaptinthetruckbed.BuddyLeehitthegasasIkefiredatthetwomenwhohadscuttledbehindtheblueminivan.BuddyLeeslammedintothesedan,sendingitcrashingintothefirsttwobikes.Theconservationofmomentumsentthesecondbikeplowingintothethird.BuddyLeekeptthehammerdown,turnedleft,andheadeddownthelane.
Ikeletoffonelastblastfromthesubmachinegun,sprayingtherearofthevan.Theglassinthereardoorexplodedalongwiththereardriver’ssidetire.GraysonandDomehadkeptmovingaroundthevanasthetruckshotbylikeacannonballuntiltheyendedupcroucheddownlikeapairofturtlesnearthefrontbumper.
Graysonjumpedupintimetoseethetruckturnleftandtakeoffdownthehighway.Graysonwipedhiseyeswiththebackofhishand.Sweat,blood,andbitsofmetalstucktothehairsonhisforearm.Hisearsrangwithahigh-pitchedmetallicwhine.DomeroseandstoodbesideGrayson.Kelsocrawledfromunderthesedan.
Graysonstoppedstaringdownthelaneandtookinthesceneswirlingaroundhim.Threeofhisbrothersweredown.Cheddarwasdead.Gremlinwasrightonhisheels.Gagewasbleedingoutallovertheredclaythatcoveredtheyard.
“Dome,theygotmeinmyleg,Dome.I’mbleedingalot.Godithurts,I’mbleedingalot,Dome,”Gagerasped.
“Myguts,man.Icanseemyguts,”Gremlinsaid.Hiswordsweresolightthewindnearlysnatchedthemaway.DomeandGraysonwalkedovertotheirmortallyinjuredbrother.Mostofthelowerhalfofhisstomachwasgoneorslippingthroughhishandslikeagreasedeel.Hewaslyinginapoolofbloodandshitlargeenoughtosoakinlikeahottub.
Hislegslookedlikebreadsticksmadebyablindbaker.IfGremlinmadeit,whichjudgingbyallthebloodhewascurrentlyswimminginwashighlyunlikely,he’dprobablyhavetouseoneofthoseshitbagsfortherestofhislife.He’dneverrideagain.Graysonknewhewouldn’twanttolivethatway.
“Wecan’tleavehimlikethis,”Graysonsaid.HepointedhisgunatGremlin’sface.Dometurnedhisfacetothesettingsun.Theshrilltrebleofachorusofcricketsfilledtheair.
“Seeyouontheotherside,brother,”Graysonsaid.
HefiredavolleyofbulletsintoGremlin’sface.Thestaccatoburstsoundedlikesomeonehaddroppedathousandnailsonametaldesk.GraysonputthemachinegunonthegroundnearGremlin’sbody.Hewentovertothedemolishedbikes.Hetriedtopickuphisbike,buttheapehangerswerebentinallthewrongplaces.Thegastankwasleaking.Oneofthecamshadahugedent.Ahugegashzigzaggedacrosstheleatherseat.Thefrontwheelwascavedinonitself.Itwasalikeachild’sfirstattemptatwritingacapital“D.”
Graysonlaidthebikebackdown.
“Alright,then,”Graysonsaid.HeknewinhisgutthatAndywasdead.Theideathattwooldbastardswhoshouldbesittingonthecouchdrainingtallboyshadgottenthedroponaprospectwasfar-fetchedbutnotimpossible.Ashetookinthecarnagelaidoutbeforehim,herealizedhe’dmadetwomistakes.
He’dtakenthesemenlightly,andhe’dbeenholdingback.Thefirstmistakewashisfault.Hewouldneverforgetnorforgivehimself.Thesecondmistakebelongedtoarichboywhohadnevergottendirtyorbloodyorbeeninafight.Yeah,he’dpaidthem,butthatdidn’tevenmatteranymore.Thishadbecomemorethanbusinessalongtimeago.Nowitwasmorethanpersonal.Itwasabouthonor.Ifhecouldn’thandlethesetwo,thenhedidn’tdeservetobethepresident.Hedidn’tdeservetowearthegoddamnpatch.Mightaswelltakeitoffandthrowitinthefuckingtrash.
Thiswascrazy.Allofit.
Cheddardead.
Gremlindead.
Gageprobablybleedingout.
NottomentionwhathadhappenedattheBlack’sshop.Graysonrubbedhisface.
Hishandlingeredonthescarthatbisectedhischeek.Therewasgoingtobenomoreholdingback.Nomorehalfmeasures.Allthatwasdone.
“Dome,yougotaspareinthisthing?”Graysonasked.
“Yeah,ImeanIthinkso.It’smywife’svan;Idon’tdriveitmuch,”Domesaid.
“Whatwegonnadowiththebikes?Wecan’tjustleavethem,”Kelsosaid.Graysonpulledouthisknifeandwenttoeachbike.Heusedthetipoftheknifetounscrewthemountingboltsonthelicenseplates.Hepocketedallthreelicenseplates.ThecopsmightchecktheVINs,buttheycouldalwaysreportthebikesasstolen.
“YoutwogetthecutsoffofCheddarandGremlin.Thenchangethetire.LoadupGagesowecangetthefuckoutofhere.Weinthemiddleofbumfuck,butyouneverknowwhatnosy-assneighbormighthavecalledJohnnyLaw.WhenwegetbacktotheclubhouseI’mcallingawarparty.Wegonnadrophellatthismotherfucker’sfrontdoor,”Graysonsaid.DomeandKelsofidgetedinplace,shootingworriedglancesateachother.
GraysonwentbackovertoGremlin’sbodyandpickeduphisgun.HeglaredatDomeandKelsowithsuchbalefulintensitythathegavehimselfaheadache.
“DidIfuckingstutter?”Graysonasked.
THIRTY-THREE
“Pullover!”Ikeholleredfromthetruckbed.BuddyLeedidn’tseemtohaveheardhim.Thetruckshimmiedandshookasheflewdownthesingle-laneblacktop.Ikecouldseetheneedleonthespeedometerwastickingpastninety.
“BuddyLee,pulloversoIcangetin!”Ikesaid,usingthefullforceofhisvoice.HesawBuddyLee’swateryblueeyesintherearviewmirror.Thewhineoftheengineeasedandthetruckcoastedtotheshoulderoftheroad.Ikehoppedoutandjumpedinthecab.He’dbarelyshutthedoorbeforeBuddyLeetookoff,tiresspinningandgravelshootingupintotheair.
Ikefeltsomethingwarmandmoistagainstthesmallofhisback.Heleanedforward,andashedid,Tangerineslumpedoverintohislap.Hegrabbedherbyhernarrowshouldersandsatherup.
“Fuck,”Ikewhispered.
Tangerine’sentirerightsidewasbathedinred.Abulletholethesizeofadimeinthecrookofherelbowwasvomitingbloodatanalarmingrate.
“What,somebodybehindus?”BuddyLeesaid.Hiseyesscannedtherearviewandsidemirrors.Iketookoffhisshirtandhisbelt.HewrappedtheshirtaroundTangerine’sarm,thencinchedittightwithhisbelt.AhugedarkwetspotradiatedoutfromTangerineandstretchedacrossthetruck’sbenchseat.
“She’shit,”Ikesaid.
“What?Fuckshitgoddammittohell!Isshedead?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikeputhisfingeragainstthesideofherneck.Hefeltapulseflickeringlikethefranticwingsofabumblebee.
“Sheain’tdeadbutshemightbeinshock,”Ikesaid.Hepulledhiscellphoneoutofhispocket.HedialedMya’snumber.Hisfingersleftmuddysplotchesonthetouchscreen.
“What’syouraddress?”Ikeaskedasthephonerang.
“Huh,what?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Weneedtogetherlookedatandwecan’tgobacktomyhouse.Theydon’tknowwhereyoulive.What’syouraddress?”Ikesaid.
“Oh,2354EastEndRoad,”BuddyLeesaid.
Myapickeduponthefourthring.
“Ike?”
“Meetusat2354EastEndRoad.Bringyourfirst-aidkit.We’llbethereinthirtyminutes,”Ikesaid.
“Areyouhurt?”Myasaid.Ikewinced.Therewassomethingbrokeninherthatwasjuststartingtoheal.Hehearditripwideopenwiththatquestion.
“Notme.NotBuddyLee.Butweneedyourhelp,”Ikesaid.
“Alright,”shesaid.Shehungupbeforehecouldsayanymore.
“Shouldn’twetakehertothehospital?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Doctorsgottareportallgunshotwoundstothecops.There’sthreedeadbodiesbackthere.Youwannaexplainthattothepolice?”Ikeasked.
“Whatifshedies,Ike?She’stheonlyonewhoknowswhothissonofabitchis,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Buddy,wecouldbothgethemmedupforthisshit,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeebitthecornerofhisbottomlip.
“Butifshetellsthecops—”
“Didyouhearwhatshesaid?Thisguysoundsconnected.Hemighthavethecopsinhisbackpocket,”Ikesaid.
“Can’tbeallofthem,”BuddyLeesaid.Hetookasharpcurveatsixtymilesperhour,thenkickedthetruckbackuptoeighty.AgroanescapedTangerine’slips.Ikeleanedherheadbacktomakesureshecouldbreathe.
“Wecan’twin.…Wecan’t,”Tangerinewhispered.
“Staywithme,girl!”Ikeyelled.Heputhisarmaroundherandletherlayagainsthisbarechest.
“BuddyLee,listentome.Wegotoahospitalwegonnahavealotofquestionstoanswer,”Ikesaid.
“Youtoldmeyouwaswillingtodoanythingtogetthepeoplewhokilledtheboys.Didyoumeanit?BecauseIdid.IfIgottagobackinsideforthisbastardtogetcaught,thenI’mgonnabegettinganeworangejumpsuitandsomeslippers.Nowhowaboutyou?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikeclosedhiseyessotighthethoughthiseyelidsmightpopoffhisface.
“Shesaidhimandhispeoplewasrich,right?Thatmeanshegetsrich-manjustice.We’llbeinside,theboyswillstillbedead,andhe’llgetafancylawyertomakeeverythinggoaway.He’llprobablystillkillTangerineforshitandgiggles.BuddyLee,wecan’tfixthisifwedoingtwenty-fivetolife,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeetookhiseyesofftheroadforaninstantandlookedatIke.
“Didwegetthatgirl’smamakilled,Ike?Howdidthempeckerwoodsfindus?Didtheyfollowus?Cuziftheydid,theywasmightyslickaboutit.Ain’tlikeyoucansneakuponabodyifyouonaHarley,”BuddyLeesaid.Tangerinemumbledagain.
“No…win…wecan’t.…”
Ikesmootheddownherhair.Herskinwasclammytothetouch.
“TheonlypersonwhoknewwhereweweregoingwasSlice,”Ikesaid.Thatstatementdidn’tneedanymoreexplanation.BuddyLeestruckthesteeringwheelwiththepalmofhishand.
“Thatcocksucker!Butwhy?Didn’tyousayyoutookcareoftheboythatkilledhisbrother?Whywouldhedouble-crossyoulikethat?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Idon’tknow.IthinkthethingaboutLuthermightbeapartofit.Deepdowninsidehe’spissedathimselfbecausehedidn’thandleit,andpissedatmebecauseIdid.Stilldon’texplainhowhimandtheRareBreedknoweachother.Ididn’tthinktheyraninthesamecircles,butSlicehashisfingersinalotofpies,Iguess.Wegonnahavetocirclebacktothatanothertime,though,”Ikesaid.Tangerinemumbledsomethingelse,butitwassoinsubstantialIkecouldn’tcatchit.
“Weinoverourhead,ain’twe,Ike,”BuddyLeesaid.Itwasn’taquestion.
IkesmoothedTangerine’shairagain.“Itdon’tmatter.Wegottafinishit.”
TheypulleduptothetrailersohardandfastBuddyLeehadtostanduponthebrake.ThetruckslidacrossthegravelandcamewithinfiveinchesofMya’scar,whichwasparkedahalfastepawayfromBuddyLee’sfrontdoor.IkewasoutandrunningtothehousewithTangerineinhisarmsbeforeBuddyLeehadshutofftheengine.MyahoppedoutofhercarwithadiaperbagoverhershoulderandAriannainherarms.BuddyLeekilledtheengineandclimbedoutofthetruckwithhiskeysinhishand.
“OpenthedoorforIke,I’llgetLittleBit,”BuddyLeesaid.MyatradedhimAriannaforthekeysandwenttohisdoor.AshewalkedbacktohistruckwithArianna,BuddyLeeheardagentletap,tap,tapsound.Hesquatteddowntohishauncheswiththelittlegirlinhisarms.Shegiggledashegroaned.Therewasathinbutsteadystreamofoilleakingfromtheundercarriage.
IknowIrodeyouhard,girl.Justholdoutalittlebitlonger,BuddyLeethought.Hestraightenedandwenttotherearofhistruck.Heusedonehandtodropthetailgate.HesatdownandbalancedAriannainhislap.Shepawedatthescruffonhischin.
“Isuredoneedashave,don’tI?Grandpalookinglikeawerewolf,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Whydon’tmeandyoustayouthereforaminute?Youwannasingasong?Youknow‘ISawtheLight’?HankSeniorusedtosingthatone.Mymamalovedthatsong.Shesangtousoncewhenshewastryingtokeepusoccupiedcuzourlightswasoffandmydaddyhadrunoffwiththemoneyforthebill.See,Icantellyouallthisbecauseyouain’tgonnarememberit.Hell,youmightnotevenrememberme,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Takehertothekitchen,”Myasaid.IkeswungarightandcarriedTangerineintoBuddyLee’stinykitchen.Itwasmorelikeakitchenette.BuddyLeehadanold,yellowchrome-and-Formicatable.IkesweptthefewdishesontothefloorwithTangerine’sfeetandlayherproneformacrossthetabletop.Myaunloadedthediaperbag.Ikesawabottleofalcohol,bandages,sutures,andrubbergloves.
“Goonoutside.I’mgonnatrytomakethisassterileaspossible.”
“Yousure?”Ikesaid.
“Isaac,you’rejustgonnagetintheway,”shesaid.UsinghisChristiannamewasMya-speakfor“I’mnotasking.”
Ikewentoutsideandclosedthedoorbehindhim.HesawBuddyLeeandAriannasingingonthetailgate.Thelittlegirlwasgiggling,andBuddyLeemadeexaggeratedfacesashesangatuneIkedidn’trecognize.Itsoundedvaguelyreligious.BuddyLeehadapowerful,melodiousvoicethatroseandfellinalltherightplaces.Ikecouldn’tcarryatuneevenifitwasinabucket.
Ikedidn’twanttointrudesohesatonBuddyLee’scinder-blocksteps.BarelyaminutelaterBuddyLeepickedupAriannaandjoinedhimonthestep.HesatAriannaontheground.Sheimmediatelypickeduparockandthrewitintotheair
“SheremindsmeofDerek.He’dfindastickandplaybyhimselfuntilthecowscamehome,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikehuggedhimself,squeezinghisownshoulders.Twilightwasrapidlyapproachingandthetemperaturewasdroppingjustasquickly
“Isiahwouldmakeupstoriesaboutsomeelvesthatlivedinatreeinthebackyard.Itwasawholesagawithwarsandmarriagesandshit,”Ikesaid.
“Youthinkshegonnamakeit?Tangerine,Imean,”BuddyLeesaid.
“She’llmakeit.Questionis,willshetelluswhotheguyis?”Ikesaid.Ariannaploppeddownonherbuttandbangedtworockstogether.
“Shereallydoneconvincedherselfhelovesher.Likeshedon’tbelievehehadnothingtodowithallthis,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Youloveapersonenoughandyou’llmakeexcusesforalmostanything.Isawguysondeathrowgetrequestsforconjugalvisitsfromwomenontheoutside,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,butthemwomencrazy,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Loveisakindofcrazy,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeetoedthegravelwiththetipofhisboot.Hehadnowittyrejoinderinthechamberforthatone.
“BuddyLeeJenkins,whothehellletyouwatchtheirchild?”Margoasked.BuddyLeeandIkestoodupasshecamearoundthecornerofBuddyLee’struck.
“Firstoff,I’manexcellentbabysitter.Second,thisain’tjustanylittlechild,thismygranddaughter,Arianna,”BuddyLeesaid.HescoopedAriannaupofftheground.
“Ifyousuchagoodbabysitter,whyyoulettinghersitontheground?JesusH.Christ,”Margosaid.
“LittleBit,canyousayhitothemeanlady?”BuddyLeesaid.Margoslappedhimonthearm.
“Don’tpayhimnomind,cutiepie.Ain’tyoujustabouttheprettiestlittlethingI’veeverseeninmylife,”Margosaid.SheruffledArianna’shair.
“Andwhoisthisheretalldrinkofwaterwithaphobiaagainstshirts?”Margosaid.Ikeinstinctivelycrossedhisarms.Margosmirkedandwinkedathim.
“I’mIke.I’mArianna’suh…grandfather,too,”Ikesaid.Margonodded.
“Well,nicetomeetyou,Ike.Pieceofadvice,don’tletBuddyLeeletyourgranddaughtersitonthenakedground.Mysongottrichinosislikethat.Well,I’mofftobingo.Y’allkeepyoureyeonthislittlebeauty.SheherewhenIgetbackIjustmighthavetostealher,”Margosaid.
“Alright,havefun,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’daskyoutocomewithmebutI’mafraidyou’dbelikeyourfriendhereandloseyourshirt,”Margosaid.Shedisappearedaroundthecornerofhertrailer.AfewsecondslatertheyheardherVolkswagenBugstartupandtakeoffoutofthetrailercourt.IkethoughttheBug’senginesoundedlikeanoutboardmotor.
“Youandherfriends?”Ikesaid.Heraisedhisrighteyebrow.
“She’smyneighbor.She’sagoodwoman.Notbigontakinganyshit,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Shelikeyou.”
“What?No.Wejustneighbors,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Youthinkwhatyouwant,butIbetifyouhadtakenheruponheroffer,you’dbeplayingbingorightaboutnow,”Ikesaid.
“Friendscangotobingo,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikenoticedhisearswereturningasoftshadeofcrimson.
“Didyoulikethelady,LittleBit?I’malittleafraidofher,”BuddyLeesaid.Hebuggedhiseyesoutandblewairbetweenhislips.Ariannaletoutahigh-pitchedsqueal.
Ikeloweredhisheadandsilentlytracedthefissuresinthecinderblocksbetweenhislegs.
Lookatwhatyou’remissing.Whatyoumissedwithherdaddy,avoiceinhisheadwhispered.Theworstthingwasheknewthereasonwhyhewouldn’tallowhimselftogetclosertoher.Forthefirsttimesinceshehadcometolivewiththem,itmadehimashamed.Ikewondered,Howmanychancesdoesamangettomaketherightdecisionbeforefatedecideshedoesn’tdeserveanotherbiteattheapple?
Myastuckherheadoutthedoor.
“Weneedtotalk,”shesaid.IkeandBuddyLeeandAriannaenteredthetrailer
“She’llmakeit,”Myasaid.ShewasstandingnexttoBuddyLee’stable.Tangerinewaslyingonhersidewithherbacktowardthem.
“Shelostalotofblood,butthatwoundinherarmisaninandout.Ican’tbesurewithoutanX-ray,butitdoesn’tlooklikeitshatteredanyofherbones.Shemighthavesomenervedamage,though.Shewasn’tinshock.Shejustfainted.Shegoingtoneedaplacetorest,andsomebodyisgoingtohavechangethatbandageandcleanit.Now,doy’allwannatellmewhosheisandhowshegotthatholeinherarm?”Myaasked.
“She’sthegirlIsiahandDerekweretryingtohelp.Wethinkherboyfriendwasinthisshitthatgottheboyskilled.Wewenttotalktoheraboutgoingtothecops,”Ikesaid.Hethought,Ortellinguswhoherboyfriendwassowecancuthisfuckingheadoff.
BuddyLeepickeduptheexplanation.
“Someboysfoundusandshotupherhouse.Theyshothermama,too.Wethinktheythesamesonsofbitchesthatkilledtheboys,”BuddyLeesaid.Myaputherhandstohermouthandclosedhereyes.
“Didshetellyouanything?”Myamumbledfrombehindherclaspedhands.Ikeshookhishead.Myapulledherhandsawayfromherface.
“Thispoorchild.Wehavetogethersomeplacesafewhereshecanheal,”Myasaid.
“IthinkIknowsomebody,”Ikesaid.
“Arethey…anally?”Myaasked.
“Awhat?”Ikesaid.
“Anally.Isiahtoldme…”Shepaused.“IsiahtoldmethatwaswhatyoucalledsomeonewhowasLGBTQ-friendly,”Myasaid.
“Letmeguess,shesecretlyalesbian?”BuddyLeesaid.MyalookedoverhershoulderatTangerine’sproneform.
“Wrongletter,”Myawhispered.Ikefrowned.
“Whatareyoutalkingabout,puddin?”Ikesaid.Hehadn’tusedthattermofendearmentinsolongitsurprisedhim.BythewayMya’seyebrowsarched,itsurprisedher,too.Sherubbedherhandsonherpants.
“Yourfriendisatransgenderwoman.Whereveryoutakehertheyneedtobeanally.Youdon’tneedtotakehertosomebodythat’sgonnakickheroutinthestreetiftheyfindout,”Myasaid.IkesatdownonthearmofBuddyLee’ssofa.BuddyLeeputAriannadown.SherantoMyaandgrabbedhergrandmother’sleg.
“Wait,soshe’sahe?”BuddyLeeaskedinalowtone.
“No.Sheisashewhohasnothadgender-reassignmentsurgeryyet,”Myasaid.BuddyLeesatnexttoIkeonthecouchanddroppedhishead.Heranhishandsthroughhishair.
“AndIthoughtthisdaycouldn’tgetanycrazier,”hesaid.
“Youcalledherashe.Butshestillhasa…”Ikesaid.Heletthestatementhangintheair.
“Sheispresentingasawoman.Sheseemstobelivingasawoman.Sosheisawoman,”Myasaid.
“Theyteachyouallaboutthatatthehospital?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Someofit,yeah.Mostofitisjustbeingrespectfulofpeopleandacceptingthemforwhotheyare,”Myasaid.Ikefelthergazeboringaholeinhimlikeshewaswieldinganearthauger.Noonespokeforamoment.MyascoopedupAriannaandletherlayherheadonhershoulder.
“Shepretty,”Ariannasaid.
“Hmm?”Myasaid.
“Shepretty,”Ariannasaid.MyaturnedandsawTangerinegivingAriannaaweakwave.Ariannawavedback.
“Iguessweshouldgobacktomysister’s,”Myasaid.
“No.Notyet,”Ikesaid.
“Whatyoumean‘notyet’?Youtheonetoldustoleave,”Myasaid.
“Yeah,Iknow.NowI’mthinkingIdon’twantyouontheroadalone.I’mgonnatakeTangerinetoaplaceshe’llbesafe.Y’allstayhereandwaitformeuntilIgetback.ThenIcandriveyoutoyoursister’sandBuddyLeecanfollowus,”Ikesaid.
“Whereyoutakingher?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Noplaceyouneedtoknowabout.Ifyoudon’tknow,youcan’ttell,”Ikesaid.
“Iwouldn’ttell,Ike,”BuddyLeesaid.Hesoundedaffronted.
“Iknowyouwouldn’twantto,butifthemboyscatchyou,theygonnapushhard.Thiswayyoucan’t,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeewenttoscratchathischinandstopped.
“That’swhyherfriendsohottoputherintheground,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Itain’tjustabouthimhavingagirlfriendwhoknowssomeshitabouthim.It’saboutwhosheis,”Ikesaid.
“YouthinkTariqknows,too?Thatwhyheputhisboysonuslikethat?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Makessense.Hardcorehip-hopproducerdon’twantnobodytoknowheonthedown-low,”Ikesaid.
“I’mnotgay,”aweakvoicesaidfromthekitchen.IkeandBuddyLeesharedalookthatwasbecomingtheirshorthand.Ikestoodandwentintothekitchen.Tangerinewassittingontheedgeofthetable.MyahadfashionedheraslingoutofoneofBuddyLee’sbedsheets.Herhairwasstucktoherface.ShehadabeachtowelwiththewordsATLANTICCITYsilk-screenedonitwrappedaroundherlikeatoga.
“You’renot?”BuddyLeesaid.
“No,I’mnot,GomerPyle,”Tangerinesaid.
“I’msoconfused,”BuddyLeesaid.Heleanedbackagainstthecouch.IkewentandstoodinfrontofTangerine.
“Wegottagetyousomewheresafe,”Ikesaid.
“Iwassomewheresafe.Iwassafeandmymamawasalive,”shesaid.
“Theyweregonnafindyoueventually,”Ikesaid.
“Youdon’tfuckingknowthat,”Tangerinesaid.
“Yes,Ido.Becauseyourboy,whoeverheis,hedon’twantnobodytoeverfindouthewaswithsomebodywhowas…”Ikestoppedhimself.Hewasstillmakingbaddecisions.Stillsayingthewrongthings.
“Sayit.I’vehearditbefore.Somebodylikeme.Evenmymamausedtocallmeafuckingfreak.Shewouldn’tcallmeTangerine.Saidshenamedmeaftermydaddy.ThatwashisnameandIshouldbeproudtohaveit,andnowshe’sdeadandshe’llneverbeabletocallmebymyrealname,”Tangerinesaid.Shebegantoweep.GreatrackingsobsthatmadeIke’schesthurt.Hewenttoher,andbeforeheknewwhathewasdoing,hetriedtoputhisarmsaroundher.Shepushedhimaway.Ikesteppedbackwithhisarmsawkwardlyopen.
“Tellushisname,sis.Letusputanendtothisthing,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Youdon’tfuckinggetit.Welovedeachother.He’snotincontrolofthis.I’mnotsayinghe’snotinvolved,buthe’snottheonedoingthis,”Tangerinesaid.Hercheeksglistenedashertearssoakedherface.
“Tellus,”BuddyLeesaidasgentlyascould.
“Hekilledoursons.Hesentpeopletokillyou.Theytookyourmamafromyou.Tellus,Tangerine,”Ikesaid.Heputhishandonhershoulder,butinhismindhewastouchingIsiah.Shewasn’thisson.Buthefeltlikethroughherhecouldgleananinklingofthepainandmiseryandsenseofunfairnessthathecouldneverexperience,thatpeoplewholivedunderanumbrellamadeofapanoplyoflettersknewintimately.HowmanytimeshadIsiahcriedthewayTangerinewascryingrightnow?Weptuntilhefoundthestrengthtoliveashewasmeanttolive.Asamanwhowassomuchmorethanwhohesleptwith?Whohadafatherwhorefusedtoseehimasanythingmorethanadisappointment?
“Youstilllovehim,don’tyou?”Ikeasked.Tangerinedidn’tanswerhisquestion.
“Ijustwantthisalltogoaway,”shesaid.
“Itain’tgoingnowhere,girl,”BuddyLeesaid,butIkehelduphishand.
“Let’sgetyousomeclothes.Wegonnatakeyousomewhereyoucanbesafe,okay?”Ikesaid.
HelethergoandgesturedwithhisheadforBuddyLeeandMyatofollowhim.Theyallsteppedbackoutside.
“Youthinkyougotacoupleofspareshirtsandapairofpantsmeandhercanborrow?”Ikeasked.BuddyLeenodded.
“Idon’tknowaboutyou,butmyshirtsshouldfither.Jeans,too.Yougonnalooklikeyouwearingyourbabybrother’sclothesifyouputoneofmyshirtson,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’vegotacoupleofmyT-shirtsinthebackseat,”Myasaid.
“That’sgood,puddin,”Ikesaid.
“ShegottatellusIke.Preferablysoonerthanlater,”BuddyLeesaidinahushedtone.
“Hermamagotkilledrightinfrontofher.Adudeshelovesistryingtokillher.Shecan’ttellusnothingrightnow.Let’sgethersomeplacesafe.Givehersometime,”Ikesaid.
“Weneedthatname,Ike,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Andsheneedstocometotermswiththefactamanshewasinlovewithpunchedhermama’sticket,”Ikesaid.
“Alright.Youtakehertoahenhousethefoxescan’tfind.I’llstayherewithMyaandLittleBit.Buttheclockisticking.Iain’tgottatellyouthat,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Thesementhatkilledhermama,aretheythesamepeoplethatfollowedmetheotherday?”Myaasked.Ikesighed.
“Yeah.”
“Ifyoufindthisboyfriend,areyougoingtokillhim?”Myaasked.BuddyLeemovedawayfromthethreeofthemandinspectedhisundercarriageagain.
“Yes,”Ikesaid.MyarockedsidetosidegentlyasAriannaplayedwithherbraids.
“Good.Here,holdherforaminute.Imighthavesomesweatpantsinthebackseat,too,”shesaid,handingAriannatoIke.Heswallowedhardandtookherinhispowerfulhands.Ariannareachedupandpulledonhischin.
“Youcouldn’thaveleftherwithAnna?”Ikeasked.Myastoppedandleanedagainstthetrunk.
“Anna’sout.Nobodyatthehousebutus.Couldn’tleavehertherealone.Trustme,Ididn’twanttobringherhereforthis,”Myasaidbeforeshedisappearedinthebackseat.Whenshereappearedshehadashirtandapairofyogapants.AsshewalkedpasthimIkegrabbedherhand.
“I’msorryaboutallthis.I’msorryabouteverything,”Ikesaid.Myagrippedhishand.
“Justgetthem,”shesaidbeforegoinginthetrailer.WhenshecamebackTangerinewaswithher.Shehadontheshirtandthepants.Bothappearedtwosizestoobig.Tangerineswayedsoftlybutshedidn’tseemindangerofpassingoutagain.
“CanIgetthatshirt?”Ikeasked.BuddyLeehitcheduphisjeansandheadedintothetrailer.Theycouldheartheshufflingofdoorsandtheslammingofdresserdrawers.AfewminuteslaterhecametothedoorandtossedIkeaflannelshirt.
“BelongedtomybrotherDeak.Hestayedwithmeforawhileafewyearsago.He’saboutyoursize.”
Ikeslippedontheshirt.Itwastightinthearmsbutitwoulddo.
“I’lltakethetruck.Y’allsittightandwaittillIcomeback,”Ikesaid.
“Ike,thattruckisfullofbloodandthebackwindowisblownout.Andit’sleakingoillikearacehorsepissing.She’smybabybutIdon’tknowhowmuchlongershe’sforthisworld,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Idon’twanttoleavey’allstrandedwithoutacarseatandwithatruckthatmightseizeupwhileyougotAriannawithyou,ontheoffchanceyouhavetoleave.Andifyoudidhavetoleave,Idon’twantherridingaroundinthenightair.Tryingtobeagoodbabysitter,likeyourfriendsaid,”Ikesaid.
“Weain’tbabysitting.We’rehergrandparents.Youcouldtakethecarandtakeherwithyou,”Myasaid.
“Shelikestostaywithyou.Ithinksheisscaredofmesometimes,”Ikesaid.
“Ithinkit’stheotherwayaround,butwhatever.Howlongyougonnabe?”Myaasked.
“Fifteenminuteseachway,”Ikesaid.
“Goonthen.Thequickeryouleavethefasteryou’llbeback,”Myasaid.
“Givemetheheaterandyoukeepthestreetsweeper,”BuddyLeesaid.
“No!Nogunsaroundmygranddaughter,”Myasaid.
“Mya,wehavepeoplelookingforus.Thosepeoplehaveguns,”Ikesaid.
“That’swhyyouneedtogetgoingandbringyourassback.We’llbehere.Go,”Myasaid.IkelookedatBuddyLee.BuddyLeeshruggedhisshoulders.Hewasnotsteppingbetweenamanandhiswife.Bettertostepbetweenahungrywolfandarabiddog.
“Mya,I’mleavingthegunwithBuddyLee.Itrusthim,”Ikesaid.HewenttothetruckandgrabbedtheMAC-10.WhenhehandedittoBuddyLeetheylockedeyes.BuddyLeenodded.
“Thisallwegot.That.45isempty.Youpulledonthatthinguntilitwentclick.Givemethekeys,”Ikesaid.
“There’saspareunderthevisor.I’llkeepmyregularonessoIcanlockthedoor,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Let’sgo,Tangerine,”Ikesaid.Ikegotinthetruck.Tangerinegotinthepassengerside.
“Bye,prettylady!”Ariannasaid.TangerinesmiledandwavedatArianna.
“Bye,sugarbutton,”shesaid.
“Hurrybacknow.Don’tpickupnostrayhookersorwoodennickels,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Watchyourmouth,”Myasaid.
“Sorry,ma’am,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Thirtyminutes,”Ikesaid.HestartedthetruckandbackedoutofBuddyLee’struncateddriveway.
Asthetaillightsrecededdowntheroad,BuddyLee,Mya,andAriannawentbackinsidethetrailer.
BuddyLeegrippedtheMAC-10withonehandandlockedthedoorwiththeother.
THIRTY-FOUR
IkedialedJazzy’snumberasheheadedforthenorthernendofRedHillCounty.Shepickedupafterthreerings.
“Hey,Ike,what’sup?”Jazzysaid.
“Jazz,Ineedafavor.”Ikesaid.Jazzymust’vepickedupsomethinginhistonebecauseinsteadof“sure”or“noproblem”shesaid:
“Whatisit?”
“Igotafriendwhoneedsaplacetocrashforafewdays.She’sbeenhurtandshegotabandagethatshegonnaneedhelpchanging.IknowyouwasaCNAbeforeyoucameonwithusattheshop,”Ikesaid.Ikethoughtheheardthelinehum,butheknewthatwashisimagination.Cellphonesdidn’thavelandlinesthatcouldhum.
“Ike,IwasaCNAforthreeweeks.Lord,Idon’tknow.IgottaaskMarcus.”
“I’llgiveyoutwoextraweeksonyourlastcheck,”Ikesaid.
“Twoextraweeks?Really?”
“Really,”Ikesaid.Jazzysuckedherteeth.
“Thatgottodowiththembikerboysfromtheotherday?”Jazzyasked.Ikealmostlied.
“Yes,butyou’llbealright.Nooneknowswhereyouliveandnooneisfollowingme.”Ikesaid.Hewasdoinghisbesttomakesurethatwasn’talie.Hetookthelongwaydownbackroadsthatmadeithardforsomeonetohideatail.
“Idon’tknow,Ike,”Jazzysaid.
“Threeweeks.Threeextraweeks.Please,Jazzy.Sheneedshelp.Ifyoudon’twanttodoitforme,doitforIsiah,”Ikesaid.
“ThembikerboysgotsomethingtodowithwhathappenedtoZay?”Jazzyasked.
“Yeah.I’mprettysuretheydid,”Ikesaid.Moresilence.Itfloatedbetweenthem,deepandoppressive.FinallyJazzyspokeagain.
“Okay.Bringherover.Howlongyousaysheneedtobehere?”
“Justacoupledays.Thankyou,Jazzy,”Ikesaid.
“I’mgonnahavetobuyMarcustwonewPlayStationgameswithmychecktokeephimfromrunninghismouth,”Jazzysaid.
“Seeyouinabit,”Ikesaid.Hehungup.
“Youdidn’ttellher,”Tangerinesaid.
“Idon’tthinkit’smyplacetotellheranything,”Ikesaid.
“Yousuremymamaisdead?”Tangerineasked.ThequestionalmostmadeIkerunofftheroad.Hechosehisnextwordscarefully.
“Idon’tknow.Everythingwashappeningsofast.ButIdon’tthinkshemadeit,”Ikesaid,hisvoicehoarse.Tangerineleanedherheadonthewindow.Coolairfilledthecabofthetruckthroughtheshatteredrearwindow.Tangerine’shairdancedandcavortedaroundherheadlikedarkfairies.
“SheonlyletmecomehomeafterIgaveherhalfthemoneyTariqhadfrontedme.Twenty-fivehundreddollars,andshestillkeptcallingmebymydeadname,”Tangerinesaid.
“Didyoutellheryouwasrunningforyourlife?”Ikeasked.
“Yeah.That’swhyshedidn’ttakeallofit,”Tangerinesaid.
“What’sadeadname?”Ikeasked.Tangerinedrewherlegsupunderherthighs.
“ThenameIwasbornwith,notthenameIchose,”Tangerinesaid.
“Thepicturesonthewall.Arethey…?”
“Thatwasbefore.BeforeIfoundmyself,”Tangerinesaid.
“Oh.Okay,”Ikesaid.
“MydaddywashalfBlack,halfMexican.Allman,likemymamausedtosay.Hecaughtmewearingmymama’shighheelsonetime.HepunchedmeinmychestsohardIspitbloodforthreedays.Hemademewalkinhighheelstherestoftheweekend.Aroundandaroundourhouseuntilmyfeetbled.Bleedingfrommymouth,bleedingfrommyfeet.Hurtingallover.ThatwaswhenIreallyknew,”Tangerinesaid.
“Knewwhat?”Ikeasked.
“ThattheygotitwrongwhenIwasborn.ThatIwasalwaysagirl.Itwasthepeoplearoundmethatwouldn’tacceptit.AllthatshithedidtomeandallIcouldthinkaboutwasonedayI’dfindsomeheelsthatfit.SoonasIcould,IgotoutofBowlingGreenandheadedforRichmond.Gotintodoingmakeupandhairforpeople.That’showImetTariq.Didthemakeupforacoupleofhisvideos.Westartedhangingoutandhestartedlettingmetagalongtoparties.AfterawhilethepartiesgotfancierandfancieruntilonenightwewasatsomeballforthecityandImetHimthere.CapitalH.FromthestartitwasdifferentwithHim.LikeTariq,heknew,butheneverseemedlikehecouldacceptthathelikedme.We’ddostuff,likenotevensexstuff,justgoingouttotheclub,andthenlaterhe’dgethigh.Hurthimself,slapmearound,thenapologize.WhenImetHim,hewentold-schoolandslippedmehisnumberonapieceofpaper.WegotdownacoupleoftimesbeforeItoldhim.Iwassoscared.Youneverknowhowaguyisgonnareact.Hedidn’tcare.Thatwasthethinghealwayssaid.‘Idon’tcareaboutwhat’sbetweenyourlegs,justwhat’sinyourheart.’”Tangerinetookabreath.
“I’vebeenthefucktoybefore.Thisfeltdifferent.Itwasdifferent.Oh,shit,Idon’tknowwhyI’mtellingyouallthis.MaybebecauseI’llprobablybedeadinaweekanditdon’tmatter,”Tangerinesaid.
“That’snotgonnahappen,”Ikesaid.
“Oh,youdon’tthinkso?”
“No,Idon’t,”Ikesaid.
“Andwhyisthat?”
“Becauseonceyoutellmewhoitis,I’mgonnakillhim.I’mgonnatakemytimeandI’mgonnamakeithurt.AndIthinkyouknowI’mtellingthetruth,andIthinkthat’swhyyouwon’ttellme.Becauseyoukeeptellingyourselfyoustilllovehim,”Ikesaid.Tangerinedidn’tsayaword.Shesqueezedherselfintoatightballandputherchinonherknees.Thetruckhitabumpandshewincedasherarmbumpedagainstthedoor.Sheputhergoodhandtoherfaceandtrembledallover.
“Ikeeptryingtotellyou,youdon’tunderstand.Hecaresaboutme.Hecan’tbewhohereallyis.Hisfamilywon’tlethim.It’scomplicated.He’smarried.Hisfamilyhasthispublicpersonathatthey’lldoanythingtoprotect.Youcouldneverunderstandthis.Noonejudgesyoubecauseofwhoyoulove,”Tangerinesaid.
Ikegrippedthesteeringwheeltightasavise.
“Idon’tknowhowmanytimesIhavetosaythistoyou.Hehadmyboykilled.BuddyLee’sboy,too.Hesentpeopletokillyouandtheykilledyourmama.Thatiswhoisheis.Youthinkhelovesyou.Igetthat.Butamandon’thidewhatheloves.Andhesureashelldon’tletasonofabitchtrytoputhersixfeetunder,”hesaid.Tangerinedugaroundinthepocketoftheyogapants.
“YouhidfromlovingIsiah,”Tangerinesaid.Ikesuckedathisteeth.
“Ihiditfromhim.Notfromanybodyelse.Igottaownthat.Ilearninghowtoownit,”Ikesaid.
Tangerinelickedherlips.
“Here,lookatthis.Readthisandtellmehedoesn’tcare,”shesaidasshescrolledthroughherphone.Whenshefoundwhatshewaslookingfor,shehandedIkethephone.Shehadpulledupatextmessage.Thenumbershehadbeentextingwassavedinherphoneas“W.”Ikeflickedhiseyesdownatthephoneashescannedtheblacksingle-laneroadthatunspooledinfrontofhimlikeanoilslick.
ThereisnoonethatunderstandsmeThewayyoudo.WhenwearetogetherIcanbemyfullself.Nomasks.AndyesThesexisamazin
Ikehandedherbackherphone.
“Letmeaskyouaquestion.Hetalksrealnice,buthasheevertakenyouanywherebesidesamotel?Hasheevereventakenyoutothemotel,ordoyouhavetomeethimthere?Doyouevenhaveapicturetogether?”Ikeasked.
Tangerinewasquiet.
“That’swhatIthought.Iain’tgonnapretendtoknowhowhardthisisforyou,butyougottaknowthereisonlyonewaythisends.It’seitherhimorus.Allus,”Ikesaid.HeturneddownCrabThicketRoad.Jazzy’strailerwasthelastoneontheleft.
“Us?We’rean‘us’now?Youdidn’twantnothingtodowithyourownson,butnowI’msupposedtobelieveI’mapartoftheteam?”Tangerinesaid.Thewordsshotoutofhermouthlikeshrapnel.
“YouontheteambecauseIcan’tletwhathappenedtoIsiahandDerekhappentoanybodyelse.Iain’tgonnalieandsayIgetyou,becauseIdon’t.Ican’tevenpretendIknowwhatitmustbeliketobe…you.Butifallthishastaughtmeonething,it’sthatitain’taboutmeandwhatIget.It’saboutlettingpeoplebewhotheyare.Andbeingwhoyouareshouldn’tbeagoddamndeathsentence,”Ikesaid.
“IthinkaboutIsiahandDerekalot.IfIhadjustkeptmyfuckingmouthshuttheywouldstillbealive.Nowmymamaisdead,too.Ican’tdothisanymore,”TangerinesaidasIkepassedafieldfullofhaybalesbeingloadedonaflatbedtruck.Thesunwassettingquick,andthemeninthefieldweremovingfasttobeatoldSolbeforehevanishedbehindthehorizon.Theskywasfullofambersandmagentasthatrantogetherlikemeltedwax.
Ikepulledintoalongdrivewaycoveredincrushedoystershellsthatwaslinedonbothsidesbyathrongofblackberrythicketsandwilddaylilies,theirorangepetalsstandingoutinsharpcontrasttotheverdantgreenleavesoftheblackberrybushes.Attheendofthedrivewaywasawhitedouble-widewithredshutters.Jazzy’scarwastheonlyoneinthefrontyard.Ikepulledalongsideitandcuttheengine.
“I’msorry,”Ikesaid.
“Don’tsaythat.Don’tsaythatbecauseyoutryingtobuttermeup,”Tangerinesaid.
“No,Imean…Iknowyoudidn’tmeanforanyofthistohappen.Butitdidandnowthisiswhereweat.Amanoncetoldmewecan’tchangethepastbutwecandecidewhathappensnext.That’swhereyouatrightnow,”Ikesaid.Hegotoutofthetruck.
“Comeon.LetmeintroduceyoutoJazzy.”
“Yousuresheain’tgonnamindhavingmehere?”Tangerinesaid.Shewasstillinthetruck.
“I’mthinkingshe’llbeokaywithit.Sheain’tadinosaurlikeme.AndherandIsiahweregoodfriendsinschool.Sheknewhewas…gayalongtimebeforeIdid,andsheneverturnedherbackonhim,”Ikesaid.
“Itoldyou,I’mnotgay,”Tangerinesaid.
“JazzyisascloseaswegonnagettoanallyinRedHillCounty,”Ikesaid.Tangerinetookhergoodhandawayfromherface.Sheusedittoopenthedoor.ShefollowedIkeoverthesteppingstonestothefrontdoorofthedouble-wide.
BuddyLeeusedtheneckofthebottleofbeerhewasdrinkingtomovethecurtainofhislivingroomwindowaside.Thesunwasdippinglowerthanaballroomdancer.Thetribeofcountrycrittersbegantochanttheirnightlyprayers.Frogs,crickets,andmockingbirdsallsangsongsofpraisetotheirvariousgods.
Acoughseizedhischestlikethepincersofabluecrab.Dotsdancedinfrontofhisfaceashetriedtoforcethesputumandphlegmoutofhisrottinglungs.Astronghandslappedhisback.BuddyLeeputhishandagainsthismouthandcaughtwhathislungshadtriedtohoard.
“Thankyou.Gotabitofabuginmythroat,”BuddyLeesaid.Hedidn’twanttowipethebloodandspitonhispants,buthealsodidn’twantMyatoseeit.Hersmooth,impassivefaceappraisedhimwiththecooldetachmentofawomanwhohadheardhershareofdeathrattles.
“Cancer?Oremphysema?”sheasked.
“CanIhaveatissue?”BuddyLeeasked.Myawenttothekitchenandcamebackwithapapertowel.BuddyLeewipedhishand,thenballeditupandputithispocket.
“Justabuginmythroat,”BuddyLeesaid.Myaputherhandsonherhips.Sheseemedreadytocallhimaliar.InsteadsheshookherheadreproachfullyandsatdownonthecouchwithArianna.BuddyLeepeeredoutthewindowagain.
Comeon,Ike,BuddyLeethought.
JazzywavedtoIkeashebackedoutofthedriveway.They’dgivenTangerineasleepingpillandputherinthebackbedroom.TangerinehadbeennervousaboutMarcuscominghomeandkickingherout,butJazzyhadassuredheritwouldbefine.
“Girl,aslongashegothisCallofDutyandabagofpotatochips,hedon’tgiveadamnwhat’sgoingon.Heprobablywon’tevennoticeyouhere,”Jazzyhadsaid.OncetheyhadputTangerineinthebed,Ikehadquestionedhowconfidentshewasinthatassertion.
“Idon’tknow.Hecanbeweird.Iguessthemthreeextraweekswillmakehimfeelbetteraboutit,”Jazzyhadsaid.
Ikeshiftedthetruckfromreversetodriveandtookoffdowntheroad.Hehadthetruckuptosixtymilesperhourashecrestedaroundasoftcurve.
“SHIT!”
ThewordechoedinthecrampedconfinesofthetruckasIkeburiedthebrakepedalintothefloor.
Theflatbedthathadbeeninthefieldwasnowinthemiddleoftheroadonitsside.Haystretchedacrosstheroadwayfromditchtoditchlikesomeonehadjustshavedagiant.Ikesawsomemenmovingaroundthetruck.Afewwerestandingwiththeirhandsintheirpocketsandtheirheadsbowed.Thatwastheuniversalsignlanguageforhavingfuckedupinaroyalway.Ikeputthetruckinpark.Hehoppedoutandwalkedovertooneofthemenwithhishandsinhispockets.
“Hey,”Ikesaid.Themandidn’tacknowledgehim.
“Hey,man,what’sgoingonhere?”Ikeasked.
“Whatitlooklike,Cochise?”themansaid.
“Yougonnawanttotakesomeofthatbassoutofyourvoice,son,”Ikesaid.Theman,ayoungwhiteguywithsandy-brownhairunderadirtytruckercap,gaveIkehisfullattention.HewastallerthanIkebyhalfafootbuthetookastepback.Hissubconsciouswarnedhisbodytoprotectitself.
“Thetruckdriverovercorrectedontheturn.Heswearhewasn’tonhisphone,butweallknowhelying,”TruckerCapsaid.
“Howlongwelookingat?”Ikeasked.TruckerCapgavethequestionsomethought.
“Youlookingatanhouratleast,hoss.Wegottagetthehayupandflipthetruckoverandprobablygetatow,”hesaid.Assoonasthewordswereoutofhismouthhetookanotherstepback.AdarkcloudrolledoverIke’sfacelikeathunderstormcominginoffthebay.
“Alright,”Ikesaid.Hepulledouthiscellphone.Mya’sphonewenttovoicemail.Ikecursedanddialedheragain.Itwentstraighttovoicemailagain.HecalledBuddyLee.Straighttovoicemail.
“Fuck,”Ikesaid.CrabThicketRoadwasadeadend,justlikeTownbridgeRoad.Theditchesoneachsideoftheroadweretoodeepforhimtodrivethroughandgoaroundtheoverturnedtruckandallthespilledhay.
HecalledBuddyLeeagain.
“Answerthegoddamnphone,”Ikesaid.Itwenttovoicemailagain.Ikeslappedtheroofofthetruck.HecalledMyaagain.
Itwenttovoicemail.
“Ain’tmuchofasignalouthere.Wehadtousetheradiotocallthewrecker,”TruckerCapsaid.
Ikeslammedhisfistagainstthehood.
Hehititagain.
Andagain.
Andagain.
THIRTY-FIVE
Tenminutes.
ItwasonlytenminutesafterIkeandTangerineleftthatMyagotthephonecall.BuddyLeehaddrunkthelastofhisbeerandwasmakingAriannaagrilled-cheesesandwichwhenMya’sphonebeganchirping.
“IsthatIke?”BuddyLeeasked.Myapulledherphoneoutofherpocketandcheckedit.
“No,it’sourneighbor.MaryAnne,”Myasaid.Sheputthephonetoherear.
“Hello?”
“Hey,Mya,it’sRandy,MaryAnne’shusband?Yourhouseisonfire,”Randysaid.
“What?!”Myascreamed.
“Yeah,IalreadycalledthefiredepartmentbutIwantedtoletyouknowbecause—”
Myahunguponhim.ShejumpedupoffthecouchandpickedupArianna.
“Hey,what’swrong?”BuddyLeesaid.HeputArianna’ssandwichonapaperplateandbroughtitintohislivingroom.
“Thehouseisonfire.Igottago,”Myasaid.Shestartedforthedoor.
BuddyLeedroppedtheplateonhisersatzcoffeetableandsteppedinfrontofMya.
“Hey,holdonnow.Whatdoyoumeanyourhouseisonfire?”
“Myneighbor’shusbandjusttoldmeourhouseisonfire.He’scalledthefiredepartmentbutIgottago!”Myasaid.BuddyLeeputhishandonhershoulder.
“Mya,youcan’tgooverthere,”BuddyLeesaid.
“ThefuckIcan’t,”Myasaid.Sheshruggedoffhishand.
“Listentome.Thisisbaitinatrapandyouabouttobetherabbitthattakesit,”BuddyLeesaid.
“BuddyLee,Iain’tgottimetostandhereandtradeUncleRemusproverbswithyou.Myhouseisonfire.Ihavetogo.Nowgetoutofmyway.”
“Mya.Stopandthink.TherearesomeboysouttherewhowanttoseemeandIke’sheadonastick.Wetookoffwithagirltheytryingtofillfullofleadlikesheastoragelockerforbullets.TheseboysknowwhereIkelives.Now,Iain’tasmartman,butevenIcanseetheoddsofyourhousecatchingfirethesamedaywehadaruninwiththeseboys.Sis,themoddsonthesouthsideofzero,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Hisbabyshoesarethere.Alockofhishairfromhisfirsthaircutisthere.There’sapoemhewrotemeinsecondgrade.Youdon’tunderstand.It’sallIgotleftofhim.Ican’tlosehimalloveragain.Ican’t,”Myasaid.Herfacewastwistedintoahalffrown,halfsnarlthatwasmomentsawayfrombecomingavaleoftears.
“Sis,Idon’tthinkthere’snobodywithinahundredmilesthatunderstandslikeIdo.Butifyourhouseisonfirerightnow,ain’tnothinggonnabeleftbythetimeyougetthere,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’msorry.Ididn’tmeanitlikethat.ButIgottatry,”Myasaid.
BuddyLeerubbedhisface,thenputhishandsonhiships.
“Alright,let’sgo.ButcallIkeandlethimknowwe’releaving,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’llcallhimontheway,”Myasaid.
They’dtriedtocallIkethreetimes.Twotimesitwentstraighttovoicemail.Thelasttimeitdidn’tevengetthatfar.BuddyLeeknewtherewerepartsofRedHillthathadspottyservice.Thentherewerepartswhereyou’dbebetteroffsendingamessagebyPonyExpressthantryingtomakeaphonecall.Thatknowledgedidn’thelpcalmhisnerves.Splittinguphadfeltlikeamistake.Heknewgoingtothehousewasamistake.ButMyadidn’tgivehimmuchchoice.Hecouldn’tmakeherstay,andtherewasnowayhewasgoingtolethergoalone.
Hedidn’thavemanymementosofDerek.Theonlyonehereallyhadwasthepictureinhiswallet,andhecouldn’timaginehow’dhereactifthatsuddenlywentupinflames.Whenthepeopleyoulovearegone,it’sthethingsthey’vetouchedthatkeepthemaliveinyourmind.Apicture,ashirt,apoem,apairofbabyshoes.Theybecomeanchorsthathelpyoukeeptheirmemoryfromdriftingaway.
MyaturnedontoRoute34doingthirty-five.ThefirstleftwouldbeTownbridgeRoad.Theskywasfullofstarsthattwinkledlikecast-asidediamonds.BuddyLeefelthisstomachfalltohisknees.
MyaturnedontoTownbridge.
“Wait,”BuddyLeesaid.
“What?”Myasaid.
“Where’sthesmoke?Where’stheflames?Where’sthegod-blessedfiredepartment?”hesaid.Myaeasedherfootoffthegasandstoppedthecar.
“Ohno,”Myasaid.
Thechromespokesonthewheelsofthefifteenmotorcyclesidlinginfrontofherhouseshimmeredintheglareofherheadlights.Theenginessoundedlikeapackofwolvessnarlingjustbeforetheysetoutforthehunt.
“Backup,”BuddyLeesaid.
Myadidn’tmove.
“BACKUP!”BuddyLeescreamed.Ariannabegantocry.Myaputthecarinreverseandhitthegas.Thefourcylindersunderherhoodsoundedlikearustyhinge.BuddyLeegrabbedthemachinegunfrombetweenhislegs.Heclickedoffthesafetyandlaytheguninhislap.
“Ididwhatyousaid.Youcanletmegonow,right?”Randysaid.Hewasinfrontofhishouseonhisknees.Graysonhadthebarrelofa.357pressedagainstthenapeofhisneck.
“Yeah,butyou’reafuckingrat.Whodoesthatshittotheirneighbor?”Graysonsaid.HecrackedRandyonthebackoftheheadwiththebuttofhisgun.Hewatchedasthechickputthecarinreverseandstartedbackingup.
“LIGHTITUP!”heroared.Afewbrotherssetfiretotheragsthatdrapedthenecksoftheglassbottlestheywereholding.TheytossedthemthroughthewindowsofIkeandMya’shouse.Therestofthebrotherstookoffafterthesmallmaroonsedan.
Myaranofftheroad,tookoutamailbox,thencorrectedherselfandgotbackonthegravel.Theheadlightsofthemotorcyclesadvancedonthemlikeaswarmoffireflies.Myarocketedpastthestopsignattheendoftheroad,slammedonthebrakes,andputthecarindrive.
BuddyLeesawanewsetoflightsbearingdownonthemfromthedriver’sside.
“Fuckinghell!”hesaid,justbeforeDomecrashedintothemwithalate-modelroyal-blueBroncolikeawreckingball.Thecarflippedoveronce,thentwicebeforerestingonitsside,whereitbalancedprecariouslyforamomentuntilgravityclaimedwhatwashersanditendedupupsidedownontheroof.Thebikessurroundedthecarlikeacrowdwatchingabusker.
BuddyLee’smouthwasfullofblood.Thebittercopperytastewasmakinghimgag.Hecoughedandtriedtospit.Thebloodsplatteredacrosshisface.Afewofhisbackteethfeltuntetheredfromtheirsockets.Hisbodywasalivewireofagony.Painsparkedupanddowneverynerve,everysynapse.Hespitagain,andthistimeacoupleofhisblockybackteethcameflyingoutandlandedontheheadliner.
Wherewasthegun?Wherewasit?Shit.Hehadtomove.Ifhecouldgetoutofthecarhecouldgettheirattention.They’dcomeafterhimandleaveMyaandAriannaalone.Hehadtomove.Hewasupsidedownbuthehadtomove.BuddyLeewasn’tmuchonseatbeltsbutMyahadinsistedhewearonewhentheyhadgotteninthecar.Itmighthavesavedhislife,butnowitwasanooseslowlystranglinghimashehungupsidedownlikeabutcheredbuck.Hereachedfortheclasp.Hisfingersfeltconfused.Hetriedtounlatchtheseatbeltbuthisdigitsdidn’twanttocooperate.
Heheardthesoundofheavyfootstepsongravel,thenthescreechofmetalagainstmetalasthepassengerdoorwasforcedopen.
Graysondroppeddowntohishaunches.
“Youmustbetheotherdaddy.Y’alllikeEbonyandIvory,”Graysonsaid.
“Icould’vebeen…your…daddybutthelinewastoolong,”BuddyLeesaid.
Graysonsmiled.Heheldhis.357bythebarrelandsmashedBuddyLeeinthesideoftheface.BuddyLeefeltsomethinginhischeekgiveway.Paincoursedthroughhiswholeheadlikearunawaytrain.GraysonputthebusinessendofthegunagainstBuddyLee’sstomach.
“Where’sTangerine?”
“Idon’tfuckingknow.Iketookherawayfromhere.Youain’tnevergonnafindher,”BuddyLeesaid.
GraysonmovedthebarrelfromBuddyLee’sstomachtohismouth.Hepusheditdownhisthroatuntilthetriggerguardwasnearlytouchinghisnose.
“TellmewheresheisandIwon’tshootthishalf-breedinthebackseatthat’scryingherfuckingheadoff,”Graysonsaid.
BuddyLeestartedflailinghisarmsandsquirmingagainsthisseatbelt.
“Youkeepyourfuckinghandsoffher!Youfuckingcocksuckersleavethatgirlalone.”Itcameoutlikeagarbledgibberish,butGraysonknewwhathewastryingtosay.
“Shemeansomethingtoyou,huh?Whoisshe?IsshetheBlack’sdaughter?Wait…don’ttellme.Thetwopansieshadababy.Howthefuckdoesanybodyletthemhaveakid?Jesus,whatisthisworldcomingto?”Graysonsaid.GraysontookthegunoutofBuddyLee’smouth.
“TellmewhereTangerineisorIstartusingherfortargetpractice.”
“Idon’tknow!Hetookherandhedidn’ttelluswherehewasgoing.She’sjustababy.Leaveherthefuckalone.Youwannakillsomebody,killme.Comeon,doit,shitforbrains.DOIT!”BuddyLeescreamed.Graysonstood.
“Dome.Getthatbratoutofthecar.Seeifthatbitchhasacellphone,too,”Graysonsaid.
HedroppedbackdowntoeyelevelwithBuddyLee.
“Ithinkyou’retellingthetruth.Thatwould’vebeensmart,himnotlettingyouknow,andhestrikesmeasoneofthesmartones.Anddon’tworry,I’mgonnagiveyouwhatyouwant.Itgonnabesoonerratherthanlater.I’ddoitrightnowbutyou’relucky.Ineedyoutodeliveramessage,anditlookslikethisbitchdonebrokeherneck,”Graysonsaid.
“No,Nanny!Ganpa!”Ariannacried.BuddyLeeheardthedoorscreechasDomeprieditopen.Thentherewastheclinkofbucklesbeingunlatched.Thatsoundbrokehiminplaceshethoughtwerealreadyshattered.
“Alright.Wearegonnatakethismongrelwithus.Maybethat’llmotivateyoutofindTangerine,”Graysonsaid.
“Ariannaain’tgotnothingtodowiththis.Lethergo.LETHERGO!”BuddyLeehowled.
Graysonlaughed.
“ThisisArianna?So,that’swhohewascallingoutfor.I’mfiguringthewhiteonewasyours,right?Yeah,rightbeforeIshothiminthefacehesaidhername.Iwonderedwhyhe’dbecallingoutforagirl.Ithoughtitwashismama.Lotsofpeoplecallfortheirmama,”Graysonsaid.ThebloodfromthewoundonhischeekwasdrippingintoBuddyLee’seyes.Heblinkedhardashestrainedhisnecktolookupatthebigblondbiker.
“Youwill.BeforemeandyouisdoneIpromiseyou,youwill,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Bringusthegirl,Ivory.We’llbeintouch,”Graysonsaid.BuddyLeewatchedashisbootswalkedawayfromthecar.Afewsecondslaterheheardthebikestearingtheirwaydowntheroad,thethunderousrumbleoftheirenginesbecomingfaintechoesattheydisappearedintothenight.
THIRTY-SIX
Ikestormedpastthereceptionistattheemergencydepartmentdeskandpushedthroughtheheavyvinyldoors.
“Sir,youcan’tjustgobackthere!”shesaidashedidexactlythat.Ikewentstraighttothenurse’sstation.AyoungLatinxwomaninlight-bluescrubsgotupandcamefrombehindthedeskasheapproached.
“Ike,she’sinsurgery,”thewomansaid.
“Surgeryforwhat,Silvia?”Ikeasked.
“Shehasarupturedspleen,aperforatedintestine,apuncturedlung,andtherewasafractureinherskull,”Silviasaid.Ikeswayedonhisfeet.Heputhishandonthedeskandlethisheadhanglow.
“Ike,Dr.Prithakisoneofthebestthoracicsurgeonsintheentirestate.Mya’soneofus.She’sbeenherefortenyears.She’slikeeverybody’smom.Wegother,Ike.Believeme.Justgobackouttothewaitingroom,andI’llcomegetyouwhenshe’sout,”Sylviasaid.Ike’sheartwasbeatingsohardhisearswereringing.
“WhataboutArianna?Where’sArianna?Where’sBuddyLee?”Ikeasked.Oncetheroadwasfinallycleared,Ikehaddrivenlikeabatoutofhellovertothetrailercourt.He’dalternatelycontinuedtocallMyaandBuddyLeeashecheweduptheroad.WhenhepulleduptoBuddyLee’strailerandsawthatMya’scarwasgone,he’dexperiencedaterrorsocompleteitfeltlikehewasabouttohaveanout-of-bodyepisode.Thatterrorhadbeenreplacedwithdespairmomentsafterheansweredthecallfromthehospitalwherehiswifeworked.
“IthinkIcanansweryourquestions,”adeputysaid.Ikestraightenedandfacedtheman.Hewasawiryspecimen.Thebrown-and-tanuniformoftheRedHillSheriff’sDepartmentclungtohissharp,angularphysique.
“Whathappened?”
“Let’sgooverhereandtalk,Ike,”thedeputysaid.Ikedidn’trecognizehim,buteveryoneinRedHillknewIke.Theyeitherrememberedthecriminalheusedtobeortheywerefamiliarwiththemanhe’dbecome.Suchwasthecurseofasmalltown.Ikefollowedthedeputythroughthevinyldoorsanddownthehalltothechapel.RedHillGeneral’schapelwasashabbythingmadeupoftwoshortpews,apictureofaGreggAllmanJesus,andacoupleoffakestained-glasswindows.Ikestoodnearthepewasthedeputystoppedjustinsidethedoorframe.
“I’mDeputyHogge.I’msosorryaboutallthis,butwehavesomethingsweneedtoclearup,”hesaid.
“What.Happened?”
DeputyHogge’sshoulderstiffened.“Juststaycalm,Mr.Randolph,I’mgonnatellyou.”
“Ican’tstaycalmbecausenoonewilltellmeagoddamnthing.Socanthenextwordsoutofyourmouthbehowmywifeandmygranddaughterandourfriendendedupinthehospital?”Ikesaid.HisbrainregisteredthathehadcalledAriannahisgranddaughterandBuddyLeehisfriend,buthecouldn’truminateonthatnow.
“Sir,I’mtryingtotellyou,butyouneedtocalmyourself.Now,whatdidthehospitaltellyouwhentheycalled?”DeputyHoggeasked.
“Youalreadyknowwhattheysaid.There’dbeenanaccident.MywifeandherpassengerBuddyLeeJenkinshadbeeninjured.Theydidn’ttellmeaboutAriannaandtheydidn’ttellmewhathappened.ThisisascalmasI’mgonnaget,”Ikesaid.
“Thiswasn’tanaccident,Mr.Randolph.Apersonorpersonsunknownintentionallyranintoyourwife’scar.Theysetfiretoyourhome,assaultedyourneighborand…”DeputyHoggepaused.Ike’schesttightened.
“Theytookyourgranddaughter.Theykidnappedher,”DeputyHoggesaid.ThegroundbeneathIke’sfeetvanished.Hecollapsedinthepew.DeputyHoggesatnexttohim.
“Italkedtoyourfriendbuthewasn’tmuchhelp.Now,pleasedon’ttakethisthewrongway,butisthereanyoneyoucanthinkofthathasaproblemwithyou?Youknow,anybodyfrombackintheday?”DeputyHoggeasked.
“Leavemealone,”Ikesaid.
“Ike,wearegonnadoeverythingtofindthatlittlegirlandthepeoplewhodidthis,butIneedyoutobehonestwithme.Stealingachildandburningdownahousearepersonalattacks.Extremelypersonal.Youknowwhodidthis.Tellmesowecangetherbackbeforeit’stoolate,”DeputyHoggesaid.
“Idon’tknowanything,”Ikesaid.Thatwasn’tacompletelie.Hislifewasaroundaboutspinningoutofcontrol.Isiahwasdead.Myawasfightingforherlifeonanoperating-roomtable.Ariannawasgone.Theirhousewasapileofcinders.Hedidn’tknowhowtostopthechaosheandBuddyLeehadunleashed.Hedidn’tknowhowtoprotectthepeopleheloved.Hedidn’tknowanythinganymore.
“Areyousureaboutthat?”
“Justgo,man.Please,justgo,”Ikesaid.
DeputyHoggestoodandadjustedhisuniform.
“Ifyouchangeyourmind,youknowhowtoreachus.Andifyoudon’tchangeyourmind,youmightwannagetreadyforanotherfuneral,”DeputyHoggesaid.
BuddyLeecouldfeeleyesonhim.Itmadethehairsonhisarmsstandatattention.HeopenedhisowneyesandsawIkestandingatthefootofhisbed.
“Whatthefuckhappened?”Ikesaid.BuddyLeescratchedathischin,thenflinched.Thewoundonhischeekmadehiswholefacetender.
“YourneighborcalledandtoldMyathehousewasonfire.Shewasdeadsetongoingoverthere.WhenwegottheretheBreedwaswaitingforus.Housewasn’tevenonfirethen.Theydidthatwhilewetryingtogetaway.Theycameatusonthebikes,thenasonofbitchdrivingaBroncoranintousfromtheside.Ike,theytookArianna.Theysnatchedthatlittlegirlrightup.TheytookMya’sphone,too.Saidthey’dbeintouch.TheywannatradeTangerineforArianna,”BuddyLeesaid.
“No,theydon’t.TheywantustobringTangerinetothemsotheycankillusall,”Ikesaid.
“Didshetellyouanythingaboutthisguy?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikeshookhishead.
“Nope.Shestillcan’tbelievehetheonedoingallthis.Sheevenshowedmeatextmessagefromhim.Thatfuckertalksslickasfishgrease.She’shooked,”Ikesaid.
“Idon’tsupposeshehadhisnameonthetext,didshe?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Shegothimsavedinherphoneas‘W.’Idon’tknowifthat’sthefirstletterofhisfirstnameorthefirstletterofhislastnameorwhat,”Ikesaid.HegrabbedachairthathadbeenplacedagainstthewallandsatdownnexttoBuddyLee’sbed.
“WhatdidtheysayaboutMya?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Shegotalotgoingon.Sheinsurgeryrightnow.”
“Goddamnit.Goddamnittohell,”BuddyLeesaid.IkeheardvoicesinvariousdegreesofdistressdriftupanddownthehallwayoutsideofBuddyLee’sroom.TheyjoinedthebeepsandwhistlesofnumerousmonitorsandmachinestocreateanambientmechanicalsoundtracktoIke’sandBuddyLee’sthoughts.
“I’msorry,Ike,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikedidn’tsayanything.
“Ishouldn’thavelethergo.Ishouldhavestoppedher,butshewantedtosavewhatshecould.Ishouldhavegoneovertherebymyself.Ishouldhavedoneanythingbutlethergooutthatdoor,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah,youshouldhave.Andweshouldhaveleftitalone.Letthecopshandleit,whateverthatendeduplookinglike.Butwedidn’tandnowhereweare,”Ikesaid.
“Wegottagetherback,Ike.Whateverittakes,wegottagetherback,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’mnotgivingthemTangerine.AndI’mnotgoingtoletthemhurtArianna.Theykilledourboys.TheykilledTangerine’smama.Theytriedtokillmywife.Theyburneddownmyfuckinghouse.I’mnotlettingthemtakeonemoregoddamnthing,”Ikesaid.
“IwishIhadnevergotyouintothis,”BuddyLeewhispered.IkescootedhischairupclosertoBuddyLee’sbed.
“Youdidn’ttwistmyarm,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeeswallowedhard.“WhatifIdid,though?”
Ikecockedhisheadtotheside.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
BuddyLeeputhishandoverhisface.Hefingersbrushedagainstthestitchesonhischeek.Theblood-pressuremonitorbegantobeeperratically.
“Wouldyouhavegottenonwiththisifthattombstonehadn’tgottensmashed?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikeleanedforward.Hiseyesnarrowedtoslits.BuddyLeesawthegearsinhisheadlockinginplace.
“You?”Ikesaid.BuddyLeecouldbarelyhearthesinglesyllable.
“Youwasn’tgonnabedownforit,andIcouldn’tdoitbymyself.I’daskedmybrotherChetandheblewmeoff.Look,itmademesick.Iswearitmademesicktomystomach,butIknewyouwouldn’thelpunless…”BuddyLeesaid.Ikewasupandoutofthechairinamatterofseconds.HispowerfulhandslockedaroundBuddyLee’sneckandliftedhimupoutofthebed,rippinghisIVlineoutoftheportonthebackofhishand.Thebloodpressuremonitorfelloverlikearottedtree.
“YOU!Ariannamightbedead.Myaisatdeath’sdoor.Tangerine’smamaisdead!Allbecauseofyou!Youdidthis!”Ikesaid.SpittleflewfromhislipsandraineddownonBuddyLee’sface.
“We…have…to…finish…it…for…the…boys,”BuddyLeecroaked.EachwordcosthimpreciousgulpsofairasIkethrottledthelifeoutofhim.BuddyLeecouldfeelthebonesinhisneckbeinggroundtopowder.Ikebaredhisteeth.HeletBuddyLeefallbackinthebed.
“Youmotherfucker.Youguiltedmeintodoingthis,youpieceofshit,”Ikesaid.
“Iknow.It’sallmyfault.Butwe’reinitnow,”BuddyLeesaid.
“ForaminuteIthoughtyouwasn’tsobad.Itrustedyou.Butit’sjustlikeIsaid:youwantedthescary-assBlackdudetodoallthehardworkforyou,”Ikesaid.
“IwantedtheonlymanintheworldwhoknewwhatIwasgoingthroughtohelpmemakeitright,”BuddyLeesaid,rubbinghisneck.
“Guessneitheroneofusisagoodjudgeofcharacter,”Ikesaid.Heheadedforthedoor.
“Ike—”
“Don’tsayagoddamnthing.Notoneword.Ineedtogoandseeifmywifemadeitoutofsurgery.Ifshedid,Ihavetofigureouthowtotellherhergrandbabyisgone.ThenIgottafigureouthowtogetthatbabybackwithoutturningoverTangerine.Igottadoallthisbymyselfbecauseyourasswentandcrackedourson’stombstone,youstupidfucker,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeewatchedasIkestalkedoutofhisroom.
BuddyLeecoughed.Theactcausedhisearstopop.He’dbeenalonebefore—thatwasnothingnew.Nightsspentoutinhiscarortruckaftertyingoneonsohardheknewhecouldn’tdrive.Daysafterbeingreleasedfromthegraybarhotel,hitchinghiswaybackhomebecausehehadnoonewaitingforhimontheotherside.Longeveningssittinginhistrailerstaringatflickeringelectricshadowsontheidiotboxasheswallowedbeerafterbeertryingtoforgetthetenderkissesofhisfirstloveorthelaughterofhisonlyson.BuddyLeeclosedhiseyes
Thisfeltdifferent.Thisfeltpermanent.
Itwasanhourlaterwhenhisphonerang.Nothiscellphonebutthephoneintheroom.BuddyLeestretchedhisarmovertherailingandgrabbedthehandset.
“Hello?”
“Buddy,”Christinesaid.
“Whatdoyouwant?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Iwascallingtocheckonyou.Isawthenews,”Christinesaid.
“RedHillmadethenews?That’safirst,”BuddyLeesaid.
“It’snoteverydaykidnapperstakealittlegirlandburndownhergrandparents’house.Areyouokay?”Christinesaid.
“We’rehergrandparents,too,Christine,”BuddyLeesnapped.
“Iknowthat,okay?ThisisallsomuchafterwhathappenedtoDerek.Idon’twantanythingtohappentoher.Idon’twantanythingtohappentoanyone,”Christinesaid.Hersadnesswaspalatable.ItmadeBuddyLeewince.
“Hey,look,I’msorry.Likeyousaid,thisisalot,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Doyouthinkthishasanythingtodowithwhatyoutoldmetheotherday?”Christineasked.BuddyLeedidn’tanswer.
“Okay.I’mgoingtoaskyouagain:Howareyou?”Christinesaid.
“Don’tdothat.”
“Dowhat?”
“Careaboutme.It’seasierwhenwehateeachother,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Ineverhatedyou,BuddyLee.Yougotoneveryoneofmynerves,butIneverhatedyou,”Christinesaid.
“Geralddon’tmindyouyappingwithyourex-husband?Orishelisteninginontheline?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Ha.GeraldWinthropCulpepperdoesn’thavetimetostalkmycalls.He’stoobusyworkingonhiscampaign,”Christinesaid.
BuddyLeesatstraightupinhisbed.Anursecameintheroombuthewavedheraway.
“Saywhatnow?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Geraldisgearinguptorunforgovernor.Itoldyouthattheotherday.Hisdaddybeenpushingforthissincehelosthisownbidforthegovernor’smansion.”
“No,notthatpart.Sayhisnameagain.Hiswholename,”BuddyLeesaid.
“What?Why?”
“Justdoit.”
“GeraldWinthropCulpepper.Hewasnamedafterhisgreat-grandfather.Areyouokay?”Christineasked.
“I’mfine,”BuddyLeesaid.PieceswerefallingintoplaceinhisheadlikeagiantgameofTetris.Itallmadesensenow.WhyDerekwassopissedaboutTangerine’sboyfriend.Whathadhecalledhim?Ahypocriteandanasshole.ChristinehadsaidDerekhadcalledherbeforehegotkilled.Shehadignoredit,butDerekwasn’tthetypetotakenoforananswer.Heprobablywentovertheretoseeher.RanintoGerald.Toldhimabouthimself.
“Motherfucker,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Whatdidyoucallme?”Christineasked.
BuddyLeeknewwhyTangerinehadhimsavedinherphoneunder“W.”Nowitmadesensehowtheymet.GeraldCulpepperandChristinewerealwaysinthepaperatthisorthathigh-societyget-together.WhenTangerinehadmumbled“Wecan’twin,”shewasn’tsayingtheycouldn’tmakeit.Shewassaying“Wynn.”
ShortforWinthrop.
“What’sthenameofthatplaceyoumovedtoinKingWilliamCounty?”BuddyLeeasked.
“GardenAcres.BuddyLee,what’swrong?”Christineasked.
“Nothing.”
Heputthehandsetbackinthecradle.Hegotoutofbedandwentovertotheteakcabinetinthecorner.Hisclotheswereinaclearplasticbagonthesecondshelf.Bythetimehehadhisbootson,thenursehehadwavedawayhadreturned
“Mr.Jenkins,youneedtogetbackintobed.Thedoctorwantsyouunderobservationforthenexttwenty-fourhours,”shesaid.
“Darling,I’mwalkingoutthatdoorinthenexttenseconds.IfyouneedtotellthedoctorIleftagainstmedicaladvice,well,Ireckonthat’sokay.ButI’mnotstayinghereonemoreminute,”BuddyLeesaid.Thenursethrewupherhandsandgrabbedhischartoffthefootofthebed.
Ittookhimawhiletofindhistruck.Ikehadparkeditwayoutinthefarendofthelot.BuddyLeegrabbedhiskeyring,unlockedthedoor,climbedinthetruck.Heflippedopentheglovebox.Thebigsemiautomaticwasinthere.Hecheckedtheclip.Itwasempty.Sowasthechamber.Ikehadbeenridingaroundempty-handed.TheMAC-10wasinMya’scarsittinginsomegoodol’boys’salvageyard.Thatwasalright.Hestartedthetruck.
Theengineclangedandshookasthetruckstruggledtoidle.BuddyLeereachedbehindthebenchseat.Hemovedhishandcarefullyoverthebrokenglassthathadfalleninthegap.
Whenhefoundwhathewaslookingfor,heclosedhishandarounditandpulleditfrombehindtheseat.Itwasanoldwoodenbaseballbatwithnailsdrivenintoitatregularintervals.Hisformerco-workerChuckcalleditahomemademace.Alotoffolksstillpaidincashwhenhemadehisdeliveries.Hecouldhavegottenagun,butifhegotpulledoverbytheDOT,he’dlosehisjob,gotojail,andhisbosswouldprobablyhavetopayafine.Thispeacemakerseemedlikeagoodalternative.He’donlyhadtouseittwice.Usuallypullingitwasenoughofadeterrent.
Abaseballbatwithnails.Atamper.A.45.ItoccurredtoBuddyLeethatanythingcouldbeaweaponifyouwerededicatedenough.Evenlove.Especiallylove.
BuddyLeepulledoutoftheparkinglotandmergedintotraffic.Hestartedtosing.ItwasasonghisgrandmotherwouldsingateveryfuneralforamemberoftheJenkinsclan.Whenhertimecametheysangitathers.
“O,death…O,death,Won’tyousparemeover’tilanotheryear,”BuddyLeecroonedasherodedownthehighway.
THIRTY-SEVEN
GardenAcreswasindeedinthemiddleofnowhere.TheGPShadgottenhimwithintenmilesoftheplannedcommunity.Fromthere,itwaslookingforreal-estatesignsthatadvertisedlotsforsale,whichledhimtoawidesideroadwithablacktopsosmoothitlookedlikeitwaspouredfresheverynight.BuddyLeehadthegaspedaltothefloor.Histruckwasbarelyhittingfifty.Themotorcriedoutformercy,butthatparticularemotionwasinshortsupplytonight.
BuddyLeeturnedontoGardenAcresDrive.Acloudofgray-and-blacksmokebillowedfromhisduals.Theroadwaslinedbypinkrhododendronsandhadaconcretegutterthatranalongsidetheroad.BuddyLeepassedhouseafterhousethatcostmorethanhehadevermade,legallyorillegally.IntricatelylandscapedlawnswouldhavegivenIkeandhiscrewarunfortheirmoney,bisectedbylongpaveddriveways.Manyofthosedrivewayshadbrickcolumnswithamailboxbuiltintoitscenter.Afewhadgates.Mostofthemhadattachedtwo-cargarages.Therewasstunningsenseofconformitythroughouttheneighborhood.Likeherewasastandardarchitecturaldesignthatdenotedaffluence.
BuddyLeebroughtthetrucktoahalt.Christinewasoneofthosewhoparkedhercarinfrontofthegarageinsteadofinsideit.BuddyLeethoughtGeraldprobablyhadaworkvehicleandafun-timevehicle.NoroomforChristine’sgoldLexus.
BuddyLeeturnedontothedriveway.Herevvedtheengineafewtimes.
“Onemoretime,ol’girl.Givemeallyougotonemoretime,”hemurmured.
BuddyLeehitthegas.Histruck,ausedramblingwreckthathepaidfifteenhundreddollarsforsixyearsago,roaredtolifeevenasoilshotoutoftheexhaustpipe.BuddyLeeracedupthedriveway.BythetimeheflewpastChristine’scarandcareenedthroughthegaragedoorhewasdoingforty-five.Hesmashedintoacandy-apple-redCorvetteparkednexttoablackBMW.
BuddyLeeundidhisseatbeltandclimbedoutofthetruck.Beautifulbrasscarriagelightsignitedonbothsidesofthefrontdoor,awooden,barndoor–stylepieceofartwithwrought-ironcorbelsrunningacrossitsface.Itsatatthetopofsevenwidebricksteps.BuddyLeeclimbedthosesteps,grippedtheLouisvilleSluggerwithbothhands,andsmashedthenearestbrasslighttosmithereens.Heheardfootstepsracingaroundinsidethetwo-storymansion.
“Gerald!Comeondown,youfuckingcocksucker!Comeondownyoumurderingsonofabitch!”BuddyLeescreeched.Twosmallterra-cottalionssatoneachsideofthefrontdoornexttoaglazedclayplanter.BuddyLeeobliteratedeachlionandplanterwithacoupleofswingsfromhisbat.Plasterchipsflewupandlandedinhislankhair.
“Youwerefuckingthatgirl,Gerald.YouwerefuckingherandDerekfoundout!”BuddyLeebellowed.Hehoppeddownoffthesteps.Apicturewindowtotheleftofthedoorfeltthefuryofhisbat.Ittooktwohardswings,butthewindoweventuallybrokeintoamillionpieces.
“BuddyLee!Stopthis!”Christineshrieked.Shewasstandingontheothersideofacloth-coveredchaisethatsatinfrontoftheformerpicturewindow.BuddyLeepointedatherwiththebat.
“Hekilledourson,Christine.HekilledDerek.HEKILLEDHIM!”BuddyLeebellowed.
Christineputherhandstohermouth.“Whatareyousaying?”
“DerekfoundouthewascheatingonyouwiththisgirlnamedTangerine.Comeondown,Gerald.OrshouldIcallyouWynn?That’swhatshecalledyou,right,yousonofabitch!”BuddyLeesaid.
“Gerald,whois—”
Gerald’svoicecutheroffmidsentence.Itechoedthroughthehousewiththeunmistakabletinninessthatcamefromaspeaker.
“Thepolicehavebeencalled,Buddy,”Geraldsaid.
“Comeouthere,Gerald.I’mgonnabashyourfuckingbrainsin,butnotbeforeImakeyousaymyboy’sname.Getoutofyourpanicroomandcomeonouthere,boy,”BuddyLeesaid.
“BuddyLee,thepolicewillbehereanyminute,”Christinesaid.
“YouthinktheycangetherebeforeIshovethisbatdownGerald’sthroat?Comeonout,boy.Faceme.Facethefatherofthemanyoukilled.Yougotthestonesforthat?OrdoyougettheBreedtodoalltheworkforyou?”BuddyLeesaid.Geraldspokeagain.BuddyLeecouldhearthesmirkthroughthespeakers.
“Thisisn’taBmoviestarringWarrenOates,BuddyLee.Isuggestyouputthatbatdownandgetontheground.Rightnow,you’rejustlookingatfelonydestructionofpropertyandtrespassing.Don’taddattemptedmurdertothelist,”Geraldsaid.
“Iain’tattemptinganything,bitch.Youain’tcomingout,I’mcomingin,”hesaid.Hewentbacktohistruck.Hetriedstartingit.Theenginesputteredbutdidn’tcatch.Hetriedagain.
“Lasttime,ol’girl,”hethought.Thetruckturnedoverbutjustbarely.BuddyLeebackedupanddisentangledhimselffromthegaragedoor.Heslippedthegearshiftintodrive.
Geraldcameoutofthedarknesswithhiscellphoneinhishand.HestoodbehindChristineasshestaredouttheholethatusedtobetheirwindow.
“Didheleave?”
“No.WhoisTangerine?”Christineaskedwitheeriecalm.
“OhmyGod,”Geraldsaid.HegrabbedChristinebythearmandsnatchedherawayfromthepicturewindowjustasBuddyLee’struckcamecareeningintotheirlivingroom.Thebricksaroundthewindowcracked,shifted,andfelltothegroundlikeamethhead’steeth.ThechaisecrumpledundertheweightofBuddyLee’struck.Thefrontwheelsspunacrossthewoodfloorleavingblackstreaksofrubberintheirwake.BuddyLeefelloutofthetruckwiththebaseballbatinhishand.Usingitasacane,heclimbedtohisfeet.
“I’mcoming,youfucker.I’mgonnaseewhatyourinsideslooklike,”BuddyLeesaid.GeralddraggedChristinethroughthebatwingdoorsthatseparatedtheirkitchenfromthediningroom.BuddyLeefollowedthem,diggingholesintheSheetrockwithhisbatashestalkedthem.Heknockedoneofthebatwingdoorsoffitsmountswithoneswing.GeraldstoodbehindChristine.Hehadabutcherknifeinhishand.
“Youeverkilledaman,Gerald?Upcloseandpersonallike?Notoverthephone.Felthisbloodsplatteronyourface?Heardthelastrattleofhisbreathinhisthroat?Smelledtheshitinhispantswhenhisbowelsletgo?Ihave.SobelievemewhenItellyouthatknifeain’tgonnaslowmedownonefuckingbit,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Please,BuddyLee,stop,”Christinesaid.
“HEKILLEDOURBOY!”BuddyLeeroared.Heswungthebatinawhistlinghalfcircleandtookoutthecoffeemakersittingonthegranitecountertopthanranthelengthofthefar-leftwall.
“Sayhisname,Gerald!”BuddyLeeyelled.Heslammedthebatagainstajuicerthathadevadedhisfirstattack.
“Sayit!DEREKWAYNEJENKINS!”BuddyLeeshouted.
“Dropthebat!”anauthoritativevoicesaidbehindhim.BuddyLeefroze.
“Dropit!”
BuddyLeeglancedbackoverhisshoulder.Twodeputieswerestandingbehindhimwiththeirhandsontheirguns.BuddyLeedroppedthebat.ItclatteredagainsttheItalianmarblethatcoveredthefloor.
“ThankGodforwhiteprivilege,”BuddyLeesaidunderhisbreath.
HelaunchedhimselfatChristineandGerald.GeraldpushedhiswifeatBuddyLee.BuddyLeeswattedherasideandgrabbedthebutcherknifeinGerald’shandbythebladewithhisrighthand.HepunchedGeraldinthefacewithhisleft.Thesecondhisknucklesconnectedwiththatlantern-sizedjawwasthehappiestmomentBuddyLeehadexperiencedinmonths.Evenasstrongarmssnakedaroundhisbody,hekepthittingGerald.Hewrenchedtheknifefromhishandandletitfalltothefloor.Bloodflowedfromhisslicedpalmandraineddownonthetile.Whenhewasoutofarm’sreachBuddyLeekickedatGerald’sface.Thedeputiesstruggledtogethimdowntotheground.
“Hekilledmyboy!Hekilledmyboy!Myboy!Myboy!”BuddyLeescreameduntilhiswordsrantogetherandbecameanunintelligiblesongofsorrow.
BuddyLeeleanedbackagainstthecoldcinderblocksthatlinedtheholdingcell.Theyhadbandagedhishandandtossedhiminthetankanhourago.Itwasaweekendsotherewerealotofdrunkssharingthetwenty-by-twentyspacewithhim—afewraggedy-facedboyswhowereinthethroesofopioidaddictionandonequietfellathatseemedprimedtoburstintotearsatanyminute.
Itwaslikethegoodol’daysalloveragain.Heprobablywouldn’tgetbail,orifhedid,itwouldbesohighhe’dhavetoclimbonatabletopayit.Hewaslookingatleastacoupleoffelonies.Addtothathispastconvictions,hecouldbelookingatrealtime.
He’dfailed.FailedDerek.FailedIsiah.FailedIke.FailedMya.FailedArianna.Hewaswhathehadalwaysbeen.Afuckup.
“Jenkins.”Adeputywithafacemadeforradiosaid.BuddyLeesquintedathim
“Yeah.”
“Getup.Somebodywantstotalk,”thedeputysaid.BuddyLeedidn’tmove.Whothehellwantedtotalktohim?
“Whoisit?”heasked.
“Getyourassup,ordowehavetocomeandputyouinthechair?”Thedeputyasked.The“chair”wasafour-wayrestraintdeviceforunrulyprisoners.BuddyLeehadbeeninthechaironce.Hedidn’tseekanotherrideonthatparticularconveyance.Hestoodupandfacedthewall.TwodeputiesjoinedHatchetFace.Theyhandcuffedhimbeforeleadinghimoutofthecell.Theyledhimdownanantisepticwhitehallwaylitbyaseriesofflickeringfluorescentlights.TheycametoaroommarkedLAWYERwithblacklettersonagoldbackground.HatchetFaceopenedthedoor,andthedeputiesguidedhimintothecoolnarrowroom.Stronghandspushedhimdownintoachair.Theyuncuffedhisrighthandandloopedtheemptycufftoaringontheundersideofthetable.
“Whowantstotalktome?”BuddyLeeasked.Thedeputiesdidn’trespond.Theyslippedoutwithoutclosingthedoor.
“Weneedtohaveaconversation,Mr.Jenkins,”Geraldsaidashewalkedintotheroom.
THIRTY-EIGHT
BuddyLeetriedtojumpupoutofhischair,butthehandcuffcaughthimshort.HesatbackdownasGeraldclosedthedoorbehindhim.HewalkedtotheothersideofthemetaltableandpulledthechairbackjustfarenoughtostayoutofBuddyLee’sreach.
“Ithasalwaysbewilderedmewhythesetablesareboltedtothefloorbutthechairsaren’t.Thisroomissupposedtobewheredefendantsmeettheirattorneys.Ifyouarethatangryatyouradvocatethatyouwouldhithimorherwithatable,youprobablyareguiltyassin,”Geraldsaid.HesmiledatBuddyLee.ApurplishwelthadsprunguponGerald’schin.Anotheronewaslocatedjustabovehiseye.
“Youkilledmyboy,”BuddyLeesaid.Heinstinctivelywrenchedhishandcuffedarm.
“Buddy,youneedtolistentome.”
“Youkilledmyson,”BuddyLeeseethed.Geraldshookhishead.Toanobserveritwouldhaveappearedtobeanempatheticgesture.
“Buddy,wehavetoapproachthislikeadults,”Geraldsaid.
“I’mgonnacutyourdickoffandmakeyoueatit,”BuddyLeesaid.Geraldleanedforwardandputhishandsonhisknees.Hewasn’tsmiling.
“Thisroomdoesn’thaveanyrecordingorvideoequipment,sowecanspeakfrankly.Myassociateshavethegirl.Yourgranddaughter.YouknowwhereTangerineis.Theywillcontactyouwhenyougetoutofhereandarrangethedetailsofthetrade.YouandMr.RandolphwillbringTangerinetoalocationofourchoosing.Youwilldoasyou’retoldorI’llhavemyassociateschopthatgirlintobite-sizepieces,”Geraldsaid.
“Youhurtthatlittlegirlandtherewon’tbeaholedeepenoughforyoutohidein.Ipromiseyouthat,hoss,”BuddyLeespat.
“Oh,BuddyLee,you’resomelodramatic.Don’tyouseeIholdallthecardshere?Ihavethelittlegirl.I’majudge.Youtriedtomurdermeinmyownhouse.”Geraldranhisfingeroverthewoundsonhisface.“IfIwanted,Icouldmakeacallandhaveyourbailsettosixfigures.Youwilldowhattrashlikeyouwasmadetodo.Followinstructions.”
“Thatscarfromthatheadbutthealeduprealgooddidn’tit?”BuddyLeesaid.Geraldlaughed.
“Alwaysthehypermasculinehardman,hmm,Buddy?Tellme,inyourwholelifewhathasthatevergottenyoubutmisery?”Geraldasked.HeseemedgenuinelyinterestedinBuddyLee’sanswer.BuddyLeesatbackinthechairandtracedhisforefingeroverthewirystubbleoverhischin.
“You’reright.There’sbeentimesI’vebeenmiserable.TimeswhereallIwantedtodowaslaydownanddie.IfIaddedthemup,thosetimeswouldbeatthegoodtimestwotoone,nodoubtaboutthat,”BuddyLeesaid.Geraldopenedhismouthtospeak,butBuddyLeeheldthatforefingerupandwaggleditsidetoside
“Butgoodtimesorbad,Iain’tneverliedaboutwhoIwas.Iain’tneverpretendedtobeanythingbutahell-raising,whiskey-drinking,hard-lovingrednecksonofabitch.MostnightsIsleeplikeababy.Iain’tashamedofwhoIam.I’dliketothinkmyboypickedthatupfromme.Howaboutyou,Winthrop?HowyoufeelaboutyourselfcominghometoChrissyafterspendingallnightbumpinguglieswithTangerine?Whatdothemaninthemirrorthinkaboutthemanwhoalwaysrunninghismouthaboutpeoplehecalleddeviantsanddisgusting?Whotalksaboutitain’tAdamandSteve,it’sAdamandEveandallthathappyshit,whenthewholetimehewaslightingitupwiththeTinLGBTQ?Whichoneofusyouthinksleepsbetter…hoss?”BuddyLeeasked.Heleanedforward.Geraldsmiledbutaveininhisforeheadthrobbed.BuddyLeelaughed.Heleanedhisheadbackandchortledtotherafters.
“Oh,youdidn’tknowweknewaboutthat?Hey,nojudgmenthere.I’mwhatyoucallanally,”BuddyLeesaid.Geraldstoppedsmiling.
“I’mgoingtotellthemagistrateI’mnotpressingchargesbecauseIknowyouaresodistraughtoveryourdeadpervertofason.YouwillgotoIkeandthetwoofyouwillbringmeTangerine.Dothisandthelittlegirlwillbereturnedtoyouunharmed.However,ifyoudon’tfollowyourdirectionstotheletter,IcanassureyouAriannawilldieamosthorribledeath,”Geraldsaid.Hestoodandheadedforthedoor.WhenheturnedtheknobBuddyLeespoke.Hedidn’tshoutandhedidn’tyell.
“Onedaysoonerthanyouthinkthelastthingyougonnahearisyourheartgoingstill.AndthelastthingyouevergonnaseeismeorIkestandingoveryouholdingitinourhands.RememberItoldyouthat,”BuddyLeesaid.Geraldchuckled.Theechobouncedaroundtheroom.
“Myassociateswillbeintouch,”Geraldsaid.Helefttheroom.
“Soonerthanyouthink,”BuddyLeesaidsoftly.
THIRTY-NINE
Ikedroppedafewcoinsintothevendingmachinetogetasoda.Hewatchedthespiralspringspinanddropthesodacanintothebin.Hereachedinandgrabbedit.Hewishedthemachinehadcansofbeeror,betteryet,abottleofwhiskey.Myahadcomeoutofsurgerybutshewasstillunconscious.Thedoctorsaidbecauseoftheswellingonherbrainshemightwakeupinafewhoursorshemightwakeupinafewweeks.Thehospitalstaffhadofferedhimareclinertosleepinbesideherbed.Hewouldhavesleptonthefloor.Tomorrowhe’dhavetoseewhatwasleftoftheirhouse.Whatwasleftoftheirlife.Performalltheadulttasksthatcamewithmaterialtragedies.Calltheinsurancecompany,getapolicereportfromasheriffthatknewhewasholdingsomethingback.Allthemind-numbingminutiaethatkepttheworldmovingevenafteryou’velosteverything.
Hiscellphonechirped.
HepickeditupandsawitwasBuddyLee.HehitEND.
Thephonerangagain.
HehitENDagain.
Thephonerangagain.Thistimeheansweredit.
“CallhereagainandI’llkillyou,”Ikesaid.
“ItwasGeraldCulpepper,”BuddyLeesaid.
“What?Whoisthat?”Ikesaid.
“Derek’sstepfather.He’swhoTangerinewasfucking.He’sajudgeandhegottheRareBreedinhispocket,”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikemovedtothemoldedplasticchairinthewaitingroomandsatdownwithhisdrink.
“Ike?”BuddyLeesaid.
“How’dyoufindthisout?WhyshouldIbelieveyou?”Ikesaid.
“YousaidTangerinehadhermansavedinherphoneunder‘W,’right?Gerald’smiddlenameisWinthrop.That’swhenithitme.WhyDerekwouldbesoupsetaboutsomefelladumpingTangerine.Whyitpissedhimoffsobad.ThenItalkedtohismama,andshesaidacoupleofweeksbeforetheboysgotshotDerekhadtriedtoreachouttoher,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Buthegotholdofhisstepdaddyinstead,”Ikesaid.
“AndheprobablythreatenedGerald.Ol’Winthropisoneofthemrah-rahall-Americantypes.Womenneedtobebarefootandpregnant,Blackpeopleneedtoknowtheirplace,andanybodythatain’tT-squarestraightisthedevil,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Hewouldn’twanttheworldtoknowhewasmessingaroundonhiswife.EspeciallywithTangerine,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah.He’stheonebehindallthis,Ike.TheRareBreedmight’vepulledthetriggerbuthepulledthegoddamnstrings.HewantsmeandyoutobringhimTangerineinexchangeforArianna.He’sgearingupforarunforgovernorandhecan’thaveallthishangingoutthere,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Andwhendidhetellyouthis?”Ikeasked.
“RightafterIdrovemytruckthroughhishouseandtriedtobrainhimwithabaseballbatfullofnails,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Letmeguess:heain’tpressingcharges,”Ikesaid.
“No.Hewantsallthreeofus.Theygonnacallyouanyminutenow.Look,Iknowyou’repissedatme,andIdon’tblameyouonebit.IfIcouldchangeeverything,Iwould.Butifwedon’tworktogetheronthis,noneofusaregonnamakeit,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Myajustgotoutofsurgery,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeesuckedathisteeth.“Whatthedocssay?”
“Shecouldwakeupinacoupleofhours.Orshecouldwakeinafewdaysorafewweeks,”Ikesaid.
“Idon’tknowwhattosay,Ike,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikecaughthisreflectioninthesnackmachine.Theslouchofhisshoulders.Thedefeatedtiltofhisheadlikehewascarryinganinvisiblemillstonearoundhisneck.Hissongone.Hisgranddaughtertaken.Hiswifehalfwaybetweenthisworldandthenext.Hishomereducedtoapileofcinders.Allbecauseofoneman.Amanwhothoughttherulesdidn’tapplytohim.Amanwhothoughthecouldn’tbetouched.
“Whereareyou?”Ikeasked.
“I’mstandingoutsidetheKingWilliamCountyjail.ActuallyI’vewalkeddowntheroadapiece,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Igottagetoneofmyguystobringmethesmallerworktruck.Hangtight.I’llbethereinaboutanhour,”Ikesaid.
“Hey,Idon’twantyoutoleaveMyaifyoudon’twantto,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Shewouldtellmegoandgetourgranddaughterback,sothat’swhatI’mgonnado.Givemeanhour.”
Ikepulleduptothesidewalkinfrontofthejail.BuddyLeelopedovertothecar.Heclimbedinandclosedthedoor.IkemadeaU-turnandheadedbacktoRedHill.
TheydroveinsilenceforafewminutesforbeforeBuddyLeestartedrambling.
“ImeantwhatIsaidthatdayinyourshop.Ican’tliveinaworldwhereGeraldCulpeppergetstobreatheandourboysareintheground.But…Ishouldn’thavedonewhatIdid.I’msorry.”
“Youdoingthatmighthavepushedmetowardtheedge,butIwastheonethatmadetheleap,”Ikesaid.
TheyturnedontoRoute33,leavingKingWilliambehind.TheheadlightsilluminatedagreenroadsignthatsaidRedHillwastwentymilesaway.
“Theyhaven’tcalledyouyet?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Notyet.Theyprobablytryingtofindagoodplacetoburyusall.WeknowtoomuchaboutwherethisGeraldlikestostickhisdick,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah.Wegottafigureoutawaytoflipthisaroundthem.GetAriannabackwithoutturningoverTangerine.”
“I’vebeenthinkingaboutthat.WhenitlookedlikeIwasdoingthisalone,Icameupwithanidea,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeraisedaneyebrow.
“Webackon?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Thisisamessbutyoudidn’tmakeitbyyourself,”Ikesaid.
“Okay.What’stheplay?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Yaknowtheygotsomethingwewantandwegotsomethingtheywant.WeneedsomethingtheywantmorethanTangerine,”Ikesaid.
“Likewhat?Wegonnastealoneoftheirbikes?”BuddyLeeasked.
“No.Myfirstthoughtwastofindoutwhereoneofthemlivesandscoopuponeoftheiroldladies,”Ikesaid.
“Goddamn,son.Theymustclankwhenyouwalk,”BuddyLeesaid.
“What?”
“Yourbrassballs.ButIgottaadmit,Ilikeit.Theywouldn’tbeexpectingit,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah.Butnowweknowwhotherealheadofthesnakeis,I’mthinkingweneedsomebodyclosertothethrone,”Ikesaid.HetookhiseyesofftheroadandstaredatBuddyLeeforwhatseemedlikeafullminute.
“Oh.Iseewhereyougoingwiththis,butI’lltellyouwhat,Idon’tthinkGeraldcaresallthatmuchaboutChristine.Hecan’tifhewasdoingwhathewasdoingwithTangy,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Thathowyoureallyfeelorareyougettingsoftonme?”Ikeasked.
“Ifwetellingthetruthandshamingthedevil,Istillamsweetonherinaway.ButtheonlythingGeraldCulpepperlovesispowerand…”BuddyLeesaid.Hestoppedandputhisfingertohislips.
“Andwhat?Iain’ttelepathic,”Ikesaid.
“OnetimeDerektoldmetheonlybadthingheeverheardhismamasayaboutGeraldwasthathecouldbeadaddy’sboy,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Helovespowerbutheloveshisdaddymore,”Ikesaid.
“Yessir.DerektoldmehowGeraldandhisdaddywasasthickasthievesandtightasapairofpantyhose.GatsbyCulpepperisanassholejustlikehisson.DerektoldmeGatsbywouldn’tlethimcallhimGranddaddy.TalkingabouthowDerekwasn’tatrueCulpeppersohedidn’tgetthathonor,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Youknow,youtoldmeyouandDerekdidn’tgetalong,butitsureseemlikey’alldidalotoftalking,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeegrunted.
“Thatwasonlywhenhewasmadathismama.Youknowhowthatis.Iatethatshitup,butthenhewouldtrytotellmeaboutIsiahand,well,Iwasn’ttooreceptivetothat,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah.Ididn’t,uh…Ididn’tlistentoIsiahwhenhewouldtalkabouthowhappyhewaswithDerek.Imean,Ididn’twannalisten,”Ikesaid.
“Maybewecanbebettergrandfathersthanwewasfathers,”BuddyLeesaid.
“YouknowwherethisGatsbylives?Theyhaven’tcalledyet,butwhentheydowewon’thavemuchtimetomakeamove,”Ikesaid.
“Canwegoogleit?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Probably.Youcangoogleanythingthesedays.”
“That’swhattheytellme,”BuddyLeesaid.Theydroveoninsilenceforamileortwo.
“Didyoureallydriveyourtruckthroughhishouse?”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,butIfuckedupandtookaleftatthesink,”BuddyLeesaid.IkeandBuddyLeestaredateachotheratthesametime.
BuddyLeestartedlaughing.
Ikejustshookhishead.
Ikewasright.
WhentheygotbacktoBuddyLee’strailer,IkepulledupGatsbyCulpepper’saddressonafreeGooglesearch.Thesiteheusedadvisedhimthatfor$29.99hecouldgetGatsby’scriminalrecord,too.
“ThissayshelivesjustoutsideofRichmondinCharlesCityCounty,”Ikesaid.Hecheckedhiswatch.
“It’salmosteleven.Isaywegonow.”
BuddyLeeleanedhischairbackontwolegsbeforelettingitrestonallfouragain.Herubbedhisfacewithhislefthand.Thewoundonhisrighthandwaspulsatingunderitsbandage.Hetookasipfromamasonjarthathadanebulousformfloatingnearthebottom.Onceuponatimeithadbeenahalfofapeach.He’dfoundthejarinhisclosethiddenbehindhiswinterclothes.Likeasquirrelandhisnuts,BuddyLeesometimesforgotwherehekepthisemergencyrations.
“LastIheardhewaslivingalone.Idon’tknowifhehasadog.Idon’tknowwhatkindofsecuritysystemhemighthaveorhowmanygunshemightbepacking.Ikindafeellikeweshouldatleastdoadryrunandseewhatheworkingwith,”BuddyLeesaid.HehandedIkethejar.IketookasipandhandeditbacktoBuddyLee.BuddyLeetookit,tippedthemasonjarup,andsavoredtheburnofthecornliquorinhischest.
“Idon’tcarewhathe’sgot.Idon’tcarewholiveswithhim.Idon’tcareabouthisdog.Wegoinginthereandwetakinghimout.Anybodyoranythingtryandstopus,wetakingthemout,too,”Ikesaid.
“Dulynoted,butI’vebeenruminatingonsomething,”BuddyLeesaid.
“What’sthat?”
“Mydaddyusedtosay,‘Worksmarter,notharder,’”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeputhisphoneinhispocketandcrossedhisarms.
“I’mlistening.”
“Let’ssaywegouphereandtrytograbol’Gatsbyandtheshitgetshectic.ThenwegetlockedupandthemBreedboyscalluswhilewe’resittinginthestir.Whatifinsteadofgoingupintherelikeabullinachinashopwegethimtocomeonoutandwalkhimselfrightintoourarms,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Andhowyouthinkwegonnagethimtodothat?”Ikeasked.
“Well,Gatsby’sanoldman.Andthereain’tnothinganoldmanlikesmorethanaprettyyoungthing.Andwejusthappentohaveaprettyyoungthingonourteam,”BuddyLeesaid.
“YoutalkingaboutTangerine?Shedon’tevenbelievethisbastardisouttokillher.Howwegonnaconvincehertohelpussnatchhisdaddy?”
“Simple.Wetellherthetruth,”BuddyLeesaid.
FORTY
Jazzymetthematthedoor.
“How’sMya?”sheasked.
“Stable.Weneedtotalktoyourguest.Sendheroutside,”Ikesaid.Hewentbacktohistruckandleanedagainstthegrille.BuddyLeestoodnexttohimwithhishandsinhispockets.Themoonwasasliverofwhiteinthenightsky.AthinblanketofmistrolledacrossthefieldsthatborderedJazzy’sdrivewayoneitherside.
Tangerinetookhertimecomingdownthesteps.Shestoodintheyardjustoutoftheirreach.Shehadonapairofloungepantswithwhitekittensonablackbackground.Herhairwaspiledontopofherheadinaloosebun.
“Youseethenews?”Ikeasked.Shenodded.
“GeraldwantsustotradeyouforArianna,”BuddyLeesaid.Tangerinesnappedherheadinhisdirection.
“Yeah,weknow.TheHonorableGeraldWinthropCulpepperisthefellawhodumpedyouandgotthiswholegreasyballofshitrolling.He’stheonethathadDerekandIsiahkilled,andhe’stheonewhogotyourmamakilled,andhe’stryingtokillyoulikeit’shisnewfavoritehobby,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Howdidyou—”
“Wemightnotlooklikemuch,butbetweenthetwoofuswegotahalf-decentbrain.‘W’isshortforWynn.WinthropisGerald’smiddlename.GeraldisDerek’sstepdaddy,”BuddyLeesaid.
“That’swhyDerekwassoupset.That’swhyIsiahwasgoingtorunthestory,”Ikesaid.
“Itain’thisfamily,Tangy.Itain’thiswife.It’shim.He’stheonemakingthemoves.He’stheonewhotoldhisboystokidnapalittlegirl,”BuddyLeesaid.
“They’dassoonkillheraslookather,”Ikesaid.
Tangerineshookherheadviolently.Herlongblackhairfellaroundhershoulders.
“Well,whatdoyouwantmetosay?ThatI’madumbass?ThatIwasanidiotforthinkingheactuallyhadfeelingsforme?Congratulations,youwasright!I’mjustanotherinalonglineofstupid-asssidechicks!”Tangerinesaid.Shesatonthebottomstep.Ikepushedhimselfoffthetruckandapproachedher.
“Wedidn’tcomeheretorunyoudownormakeyoufeelbad.Geraldain’tthepersonyoutoldyourselfhewas.That’sahardlesson,butitain’tnothingtobeashamedof,Tangerine.Wealllearnthatlessonorweteachittosomebody.Butnowthatyouknow,youcan’thidefromthisnomore,”Ikesaid.
“Wenotgonnaturnyouovertothem.Thatain’tevenonthetable,”BuddyLeesaid.
“WinthropsaidhegonnasendAriannabackinchunksifwedon’t,”Ikesaid.
“Wenotgonnaletthathappen,butweneedyourhelp,sis,”BuddyLeesaid.Tangerinewipedhereyeswiththebackofherhand.
“Henevercaredaboutmeatall,didhe?”shesaid.
“Hedon’tcareaboutnobodybuthimself,sis,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Hekilledmymom,”Tangerinecried.Herbodytrembledasshewept.Ikesatonthestepandputhishandonhershoulder.
“Helpusmakeitright.Helpusmakehimpay.”
TangerinenavigatedIke’struckdownthesingle-lanesideroadthatledtoGatsbyCulpepper’sestate.Thelongbranchesofoakandmapletreesencroachedontheroadfrombothsides.Tangerinecameoutofasoftcurveandsawasignthathungfromthearmofaseven-foot-tallpostthatsaidNORTHPOINT.Thepostsatattheendofanexposedaggregatedrivewaythatstretchedintothedarknessforabouttwohundredyards.Sheturnedintothedrivewayandparkedthetruckofftothesidenearashallowditch.Shekilledthelightsandshutofftheengine.TheChevywasIke’serrandtruck.Heusedittoshuttlesuppliesbetweenjobswhentheygotbackeduporencounteredaproblem.He’dtakenoffthemagneticdoorsignsthatidentifiedthetruckasapartofhisfleet.
Turniton,Tangy,Tangerinethought.Shecheckedhermakeupintherearviewmirror.Herwarpaintwasflawless,asusual.Shepoppedthehoodandgotoutofthetruck.Shewentaroundtothefrontandraisedthehood,thenmadeashowoflookingattheengineincaseMr.GatsbyCulpepperwaspeepingatherthroughhisbedroomwindow.Throwingupherhandsinexasperation,shewalkedupthegentlerisetothefrontdoor.
Thedulcettonesof“MoonlightSonata”echoedthroughthehouseasTangerinepushedthedoorbell.House?CallingthisplaceahousewaslikecallingtheTajMahalacrypt.Technicallyaccuratebutwhollyincorrect.NorthPointwasathree-storyEnglishTudormonstrositythatspilledoverahalf-acremeticulouslylandscapedlotsurroundedbyathrongofancientoaks,maples,anddogwoods.Lightsflickedoninthesecondstory,thenthefirststory.Alargeblackdoorthatwasmorelikethedrawbridgeofacastleopenedabruptly.Shehadn’theardanyfootstepsapproachingorthemutteringsofapoorsoulrousedfromhisslumberatoneo’clockinthemorning.
“CanIhelpyou?”themanstandinginthedoorasked.HewasafewinchestallerthanTangerine.Hehadashockofsnow-whitehairpartedontheleftsideandsweptbackfromhisforehead.Hewaswearingalight-greengolfshirtandtankhakis.Hewasstandinginafoyerthatwasasbigasherfirstapartment;itledtoagreatroomwithsprawlingvaultedceilings.Tangerinebarelynoticed.Hereyesfocusedontheguninhislefthand.ItwasahugeDirtyHarry–stylepistolwithalongbarrelthatwaslayingagainsttheman’ship.
“Isaid,canIhelpyou?”Gatsbyasked.Tangerinefroze.Shetriedtoforcehermouthtomakewords,butallshecoulddowaslookdownatthatcannontheoldmanwasholding.
“Miss?”Gatsbyasked.Tangerinesnappedherheadupandgazedintotheoldman’seyes.Theyweregreenwithimpossiblyhugepupils.Sheswallowedhard.TheywerenotthekindlyeyesofagoodSamaritan.
“Um,mycarbrokedownandmycellphoneisdead.Iwaswonderingifyoucouldcometakealookatit.Maybeitneedsajumporsomething.Iknowit’slatebutI’mnotmechanicallyinclined,”shesaid.Gatsbygavehertheonce-over.Tangerinesmiledathim.Gatsbysmiledback.Eventhoughshewasafootawayshecouldsmellwhiskeyonhisbreath.
“AndwhatdoIgetinreturn?”Gatsbysaid.Tangerinesuddenlyfeltalotbetteraboutwhatwasgoingtohappentothisoldman.Gatsbylaughedlightly.
“Justajoke,dearie.Let’sgotakealookatit,”Gatsbysaid.Heclosedthedoorbehindhimandfollowedhertothebottomofhisdriveway.
“How’dyoufindyourselfoutthisway,dearie?”Gatsbyasked.Hestillhadtheguninhishand.
“Wasleavingafriend’shouseandmytruckjustdied.”
“Ifyouweremyfriendyou’dbespendingthenight,”Gatsbysaid.Tangerinefoughtdownarisingtideofnauseaasshetookherplaceatthefrontofthetruck.Gatsbyleanedunderthehood.Helaythegunonthefender.
“Heresugar,holdmyphone.There’salittleflashlightdoohickeyonthere,”Gatsbysaid.
“Igotit,”Tangerinesaid.Shebrushedherkneeagainstthegun.Ittumbledoffthefenderandlandedontheground.
“Damnit,darling,becareful;that’saloadedpistol,”Gatsbysaid.Hebentovertoretrievehisgun.
IkeandBuddyLeeemergedfromthedarknessatoppositeendsofthetruck.Theywerewearingmatchingbluebandannasandblackknitwintercaps.BuddyLeekickedthesix-shooteroutofGatsby’sreach.Theoldermanroseuptohisfullheight.
“Whatthehellisthis?”heasked.Histonemadeitclearhewasamanwhoalwaysexpectedhisquestionstobeanswered.
IkestruckGatsbybehindtheleftearwithhisrightfist.Theoldmanfelltothegroundlikehe’dbeenhitwithahammer.
“Thatwassmooth,knockingthatgunontheground,”BuddyLeesaidashepickedupthe.44.
“Canwejustgethiminthetruckandgetthehelloutofhere?”Tangerineasked.
Theytiedhishandsandfeetwithziptiesandcoveredhismouthwithducttapebeforethrowinghiminthetruckbedandcoveringhimwithaheavytarp.Ikegotbehindthewheel,Tangerinemovedtothemiddle,andBuddyLeegotinthepassengerseat.AstheyleftNorthPointintherearviewmirror,BuddyLeecluckedhistongue.
“What?”
“I’mwonderingifhehadvideocameras,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Wegotonmasks,”Ikesaid.
“Idon’t,”Tangerinesaid.
“Youseethathouse?Ifhehasacamerasystem,it’sprobablyoneofthemfancyonesthat’shookedtohissmartphone.We’lljustmakehimeraseit,”Ikesaid.
“Howyougonnamakehimeraseit?”Tangerineasked.Ikeglancedather.
Thequestiondiedintheairbetweenthem.
BythetimetheypulleduptoBuddyLee’sitwasalittleaftertwo.Ikebackeduptothedoorandputthetruckinpark.WhenhekilledtheengineBuddyLeehoppedoutandopenedhisdoor.
“Tellmeifyouseeanybodylooking,”Ikesaidwhenhejoinedhimatthetailgate.
“Aye,aye,captain,”BuddyLeesaid.
IkemovedthetarpandgrippedGatsbybyhisgolfshirt.HepulledthemanoutofthebedandintoBuddyLee’strailerinonesmoothmovement,evenastheoldermantwistedandbucked.IketossedhimonthefloorinfrontofBuddyLee’ssofa.Gatsbygroanedbehindhistape.BuddyLeetoedtheducttapeonGatsby’smouth.
“Shit,therereallyareathousandusesforthisstuff,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah.I’veusedittostopaleakonalawnsprinkler,”Ikesaid.
“Noshit?”
“Noshit,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeblewairoverhislips.HebentoverGatsby.Hepattedhispocketsuntilhefoundtheoldman’sphone.
“Ifigurebetweenthetwoofuswecandopeouthowtoerasethisthing.Afterthat,what’sournextmove?”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’lltakeTangerineback.Thenwewaitforthemtocallandtelluswheretheywanttodotheexchange.Theygonnahaveallkindsofdemands.NowwegotsomethingGeraldwantsmorethanhewantsTangerine.Nowit’stimeforustomakeafewdemandsofourown,”Ikesaid.
“Whatiftheydon’tgoforit?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Geraldwillgoforit.Everygoodsonwantstosavehisdaddy,”Ikesaid.
IkepulledintoJazzy’sdrivewayandstoppedthetruck.Tangerinewasrestingherchinonthebackofherhand.Ikeputthetruckinpark.
“Itdon’tlooklikehehadacamerasystem.Therewon’tnoapponhisphoneornothing.AtleastnotonemeandBuddyLeecouldfind,”Ikesaid.
“Nooffense,butyoutwoarenotreallythemosttech-savvyguysontheplanet.Butyouaren’treallyworriedabouthimevergoingtothecops,areyou?”Tangerineasked.Ikedidn’tanswer.
“That’swhatIthought.Youknow,IonlyhelpedyousowecouldgetAriannaback.Idon’twanttothinkaboutanythingelsethatmighthappen,”Tangerinesaid.
“Thendon’t,”Ikesaid.
“Howdoyoudoit?Killpeopleandkeepgoinglikenothinghappened.Likeatthehouse.Yousteppedovermymamaandblewthoseguysawaylikeitwassomethingyoudideveryday.Anditdon’tseemtobotheryouatall.Ifeelsoguiltyaboutmymama,aboutIsiahandDerek,Ican’teat.Ican’tsleep.Ijumpateverynoise.Icryfornoreason.NotyouandBuddyLee.Youtwojustkeepmovingforwardlikesharks.Idon’tknowhowyoudoit,”Tangerinesaid.
“PeoplelikeIsiahandDerekandyourmamadidn’tdeservetodiethewaytheydid.Andthepeoplethatkilledthemdon’tdeservetolive.Ican’tspeakforBuddyLee,butthat’swhatkeepsmegoing,”Ikesaid.
“Revenge?”Tangerineasked.Ikesmiledruefully.
“No,hate.Folksliketotalkaboutrevengelikeit’sarighteousthingbutit’sjusthateinanicersuit,”Ikesaid.
FORTY-ONE
Domewasabigbelieverinkarma.Youdofoulshit;foulshitcomesbacktoyoutenfold.Domecouldn’tthinkofanythingmuchfoulerthankidnappingalittlegirl.
Whentheyhadgottenbacktotheclubhouse,he’dbeentaskedwithwatchingthecurlyheadedcherub.Hewasn’tsurehowhe’ddrawnthatstraw,buthedidn’twantsomebodylikeTooMuchwatchingher.He’dprobablyofferherasipofhisJackDaniel’s.Dometappedtheremoteandflippedthroughahundreddifferentchannelswhilethegirlsleptonamakeshiftcothehadconstructedoutofblanketsandapieceofplywood.TheywereonthebackporchthatheandCheddarandGremlinhadconvertedintoanextraroom.Upfronttherestofhisbrotherswerewhoopingandhollering.Theywereallhypedupaboutsettingahouseonfireandrunningawomanofftheroad.AllDomecouldthinkaboutwashowGremlinandCheddarwerelyingoutinthemiddleofthatgirl’sfrontyard.Hewonderedifthebuzzardswerecirclingoverthemyet?Weretheirmouthsfullofmaggots?
Domechangedthechannelagain.
Graysonscrolledthroughthephonethey’dtakenoffthebitchwhenthey’dgrabbedthecrumbsnatcher.Thetimeinthecornersaid4:45A.M.ItwastimetocalltheFathersoftheYear.Anearlymorningcallwouldcatchthemalldisorientedandscaredtodeathfortherugrat.Graysonstoppedonthelistingfor“Ike”inthephoneandpressedsend.
Heansweredonthesecondring.
“Hello?”
“Hey,nigger.Itoldyoubloodforblood.Oralittleruntforaslut.Here’showit’sgonnago—”
“Iwanttotalktothemanincharge,”Ikesaid.Graysonalmostguffawed.
“Youmakingdemandsonme,Sambo?Iamthemanincharge,boy,”Graysonsaid.
“No,youjustthemessenger.GeraldCulpepperisthemanincharge,andIwanttotalktohim,”Ikesaid.Graysonsqueezedthephone.Geraldandhisstupidass.Heshould’venevertalkedtohiswife’sex-husband,buthewantedtoplayBondvillainandrubsaltinthewound.Hegotoffonthatshit.
“Youdealwithme.I’mthebigdickinthisdealandyouabouttogetfuckedunlessyoudoexactlywhatItellyou.Ordoyouwantmetostartsendingyoupiecesofthatlittlehalf-breed?”Graysonasked.
“YoudothatandI’llstartsendingyoupiecesofGatsbyCulpepper,”Ikesaid.Graysonhadbeenslouchinginhispresident’schair.Nowhesatupramrodstraight.
“Whatthefuckareyoutalkingabout?”Graysonasked.Ikedidn’trespond.InsteadGraysonheardsomeonemoaninginthebackground.Notafun,good-time,ball-jugglingmoan,either.Thiswasanagonizedsound.
“Gerald,isthatyou,son?”Gatsbysaid.
“Whatthefuck?”Graysonasked.Ikecamebackontheline.
“NowI’mgonnatellyouhowit’sgonnago.YoucallGeraldandtellhimwegothisdaddy.Thenyoucallusbackandwe’lltellyouwherewegonnameet.We’llbringOldManCulpepperandyoubringArianna.”
“That’snotthefuckingdeal,you—”
“YougonnaneedtostartwatchingyourmouthorI’mgonnapulloneofPapaGatsby’steethoutandmakearingoutofit.Oh,andhearmewhenItellyouthis,son:don’teventhinkaboutridingbackouttoRedHill.IfIevenhearamotorcycleontelevision,Imightgetnervous.Igetnervous,I’llputtwoinOldManCulpepper’sheadbeforeyoucansaySmithandWesson.ItoldyouIdon’tsellnowolftickets,”Ikesaid.
Thelinewentdead.
Graysonpulledthephoneawayfromhisfaceandstaredatit.Hewantedtotossitacrosstheroom.Stomponituntilheheardthesatisfyingcrunchofplasticunderhisboot.Hesatitonthetable.Itwasn’taphoneanymore.Itwasthephysicalmanifestationofthiswholegodforsakenshitstorm.Theneatblackrectanglewasawindowintotheparalleluniversehenowinhabited.Aplacewheretwooldex-conskeptoutflankinghimateveryturn.
Graysongotupandgrabbedatoolboxoffashelfinthebackofthegarage.Herummagedarounduntilhefoundashortstubbycarpenter’spencil.HepulledareceiptoutofhispocketfromHardee’s.HewentbacktothetableandjotteddownIke’snumber.Hefoldedthereceiptandputitbackinhispocket.Hegrabbedthephoneandwalkedoutside.Afewofhisbrothersweremillingaroundintheyard.Afewwereleaningagainsttheirrideswithsomebunniesontheirlaps.Graysonputthephoneontheground.Hetookastep,pulledhis.357fromthesmallofhisback,andpumpedallsixbulletsintothephone.Heroaredashepulledthetriggeruntilthegunwentclick.
ThenhewentbackinsideandcalledGerald.
Ikepouredsomemoonshineintohiscoffee.
HecouldhearBuddyLeepesteringGatsbywithquestions.Theoldman’smouthwasre-tapedsohecouldn’tansweranyofBuddyLee’squeries.
“YourememberwhenDerekgraduatedfromcollegeandnoneofy’allshowedup?Hetoldmeaboutthat.Iwasinjail,soIhadanexcuse,butyou?Youwasretired.Imean,Iknowhewasyourstep-grandson,butdamn,youcouldn’tskipateetimetoseehimwalkthataisle?Igottatellyou,Gatsby.That’sprettyunchivalrousforasoutherngentleman,”BuddyLeesaid.Gatsbymumbled.Ikefigureditwasacombinationofallthecursewordsinhisrepertoire.
Ike’sphonerang.
Iketouchedthescreenandheldituptohisear.
“Listentome,yougoddamnsavage:myfatherhasnothingtodowithwhat’sgoingon.Youlethimgo,andImeanrightgoddamnnow,andmaybe,justmaybeIwon’thaveGraysonslitthatmongrel’sthroat,”Geraldsaid.
“I’mgettingsickoftellingyouboysaboutyourmouth,”Ikesaid.Hesnappedhisfingers.BuddyLeegrabbedGatsbyandpulledhimintoasittingposition.Ikecameintothelivingroom.
“Don’tyouworryaboutmymouth.Worryaboutthatlittlegirl,”Geraldsaid.
“Hey,son?YouhurtonehaironherheadandI’llmakesureyourdaddydiesscreaming,”Ikesaid.
“Iwanttotalktohim,”Geraldsaid.
“Yougetfiveseconds,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeerippedthetapeoffGatsby’smouth.Ikeheldthephonetohisface.
“Gerald!”Gatsbysaid.IkepulledthephonebackandBuddyLeeslappedthetapebackoverhismouth.
“He’salive.Ariannabetterbe,too,oryou’regonnahavetoburyyourdaddyinacoffeecan,”Ikesaid.
“YoubringhimandTangerineto—”GeraldtriedtosaybutIkecuthimoff.
“No.NoTangerine.JustyourdaddyandArianna.That’showitworks.We’llcallyoubackinonehour,”Ikesaid.Hehungupthephone.
“Youpushingthemhard.Whatiftheyhurther?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikeputhisphoneinhispocket.
“Theywon’t.Wegottohisdaddy.Rightnow,theyknowwewillingtodoanything.Theyhurtthatgirl,theydon’tknowwhatwe’lldonext.Nowwegottafindaplacetomeetthem.Andwegonnaneedguns.Lotsofguns,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeesuckedhisteeth.
“Ithinkwecankillboththembirdswithonestone.Butwegottagotalktosomefolks.Whatwegonnadowithhim?”BuddyLeeasked.
“We’llchainhimtothesinkinthebathroom,”Ikesaid.
“Youcameupwiththatquick,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Thisain’tmyfirstrodeo.”
“Iknow,mineneither.Yougotatalentforit,though,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Unfortunately,”Ikesaid.
“Turnhere,”BuddyLeesaid.Therisingsunbouncedlightoffthemetalsignattachedtothechain-linkfence.ThesignsaidMORGAN’SMARINAinbigboldblacklettersagainstawhitebackground.Ikedrovethroughtheopengateandpulleduptoanarrowbuildingwithboard-on-battensiding.Beyondthebuildingalongsalt-treateddockextendedintotheChesapeakeBay.Oneachsideofthepierwereaboutadozenslipswithboatsandyachtsofvarioussizesandlevelsofostentatiousness.Ikeputthecarinpark.
“Alright.Nowit’syourturntostayinthecar,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yougonnabealrightintherebyyourself?”Ikeasked.
“Hemightbeagunrunnerandcrazyright-wingmilitiamaniac,buthe’sstillmyhalfbrother.I’llprobablybealright,”BuddyLeesaid.Heclimbedoutofthetruckandheadedfortheofficeofthemarina.Asleighbellclangedasheenteredthebuilding.Acoupleofgoodol’boyswerepayingforsomebaitatthecounter.Chetrangthemup,glancedatBuddyLee,thenhandedthemtheirchange.ThemennoddedatBuddyLeeinanalmostunconsciousgestureofsouthernhospitality.Whenthemenleft,heandChetwerealone.
“Youshouldknowbetterthantobringsomebodylikethattomyshop,”Chetsaid.Hegesturedtotheparkinglot.Ikewasstandingnexttothetrucktalkingonhiscellphone.
“Oh,Iforgotyoudon’tlikeVirgos,”BuddyLeesaid.Chetgrunted.
“Whatyouwant,Buddy?”heasked.ChetwastallandrangylikeBuddyLee,buthehadathickmopofwhitehairandwispofabeardtomatch.ALIVEFREEORDIEtattooundulatedonhisbicepasheflexedhisarm.HisgrayT-shirtalreadyhadsweatpatchesunderthearms.Itwasonly8:30.
“Ineedafavor,”BuddyLeesaid.Chetcamefrombehindthecounter.Theywereonlyafootapart.
“ItoldyouthelasttimeyoucameouthereI’mfreshoutoffavorsforyou.YouknowhowmuchtroubleyouandDeakgotmeinto?ChulysentSkunkMitchelluptotalktomeaboutit.TheSkunkMitchell.TheythoughtIwasasnitchbecauseyouandDeakcouldn’tkeepitundersixty.Thatdealcostmeashitloadofmoneyandmanyasleeplessnight,butyouwantafavor,”Chetsaid.
“Itcostmefiveyears.ItwouldhavekilledDeakifhehadgoneinside.Butsinceyoubroughtitup,didn’tthestatedropthemweaponschargesagainstyouaftermeandDeakgotpinched?Huh,ain’tthatacoincidence?”BuddyLeesaid.Chetgloweredathim,butBuddyLeehithimwithhisten-kilowattsmile.
“Don’tworry,Inevermentionedthattoanybody.Imeanwhowouldbelieveit,anyway?Wouldn’tnomanworthadamndropadimeonhisownbrotherstosavehisownworthlesshide,right?We’reallblood.Mightberottenbloodbutit’sbloodallthesame.Butthat’swaterunderthebridgenow,ain’tit,hoss?”BuddyLeesaid.
ChetpulledacontainerofSkoaloutofhisbackpocketandputachunkinhischeek.
“Ain’tnothingIcandoforyou,Buddy,”Chetsaid.BuddyLeefingeredabrightorange-and-redlurehangingfromacarouselnearthecashregister.Itbecameapoorman’skaleidoscopeasitspun.
“YouwannabemadatmebecauseSkunkmadeyoushityourpants,that’sfine.Icantakethat.YouwannabepissedIcostyouapayday,I’lltakethat,too,althoughIhavemysuspicionsaboutthat.WhatIcan’ttake,whatIcan’tabideisyouturningyourbackonDerek.Hewasmyson.Hewasyournephew.Somedirtyno-countsonsofbitchesshothimdownlikeadog.HereIamcirclinginonthecowardsthatdoneit,andallIneedisthekeystothatplaceyougotdowninMathews.AllIneedisaplacetowork,andyousayingyoucan’tdothatforme?Thendon’tdoitforme.DoitforDerek.Doitforhim,”BuddyLeesaid.ChetwalkedbacktothecounterandpulledaStyrofoamcupfromashelfunderthecounter.Hespitahugedollopofdarkliquidinit.
“Yourson.Thefa—”Chetdidn’tgettofinishtheepithetbecauseinonesmoothmotionBuddyLeejumpedforward,openedhisknife,closedthedistancebetweenthem,andputthebladetohisneck.
“No.Notthatword.Notanymore.Notaboutmyboy.Iuseditenoughmyselfwhenhewasalive.Thatwordisdeadformenow,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Youputaknifetomythroat,BuddyLee,youbetterplaythefiddlewiththatsonofabitch.Comeintomyhouseandputaknifetomythroatandbringaspookwithyou?Youain’tshit,”Chetsaid.BuddyLeesawhisowneyesinhisbrother’s.Thecorrosiverotoftheragetheyhadbothinheritedfromtheirfather.
“Youtalkallthatshitaboutbeingapatriotandawarrior,butwhenIcametoyouaboutfindingthepeoplewhodidDerek,youactedlikeIhadaskedyoutoropethegoddamnwind.Hewasyournephewbutyoucouldn’tbebothered.Itellyouwhat,thatmanouttheredonerolledwithmeharderanddeeperthanyoueverhave.He’sthebrotherIshouldhavehad.Butyoucanfixthatnow.Youcanhelpmakeallthisright.SoyoucaneitherhandmethemkeysorIbleedyouandtake’em.ButIpromiseyouonewayortheotherI’mleavingherewith’em.”Chetbaredhisbrownteethlikearat.BuddyLeepressedtheknifedeeperintothetautfleshofChet’sthroat.
“Wegonnasettleuplater,brother,”Chetsaid.Heshookakeychainwithtwokeysattachedtoit.Ithadappearedinhishandasifbymagic.BuddyLeepluckedthekeysfromhisgrip.Hebackedawayfromhimwhilestillpointingtheknifeathim.ThehandleofthedoorpressedintohisBuddyLee’sback.Heclosedtheknifeandputinhisbackpocket.
“I’mgonnafuckyouup,Buddy.Youbetterwatchyourgoddamnback,”Chetsaid
“Lifebeatyoutoit,brother,butyoumorethanwelcometotryandtakeyourturn,”BuddyLeesaid.
BuddyLeeclimbedinthetruck.Ikegotinandstartedtheengine.
“Youalright?”Ikeasked.BuddyLeeshovedthekeysinhispocket.
“Iwasthinkingabouthowthegooddieyoung,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Iguessthat’swhywe’restillhere,”Ikesaidasheputthetruckingear.
“Let’sgocheckthisplaceout.Getthelayoftheland,sotospeak.I’vebeenthereoncebutitwasalongtimeago.Iwannaseethedancefloorbeforewecutarug.”
FORTY-TWO
IketurnedrightoffRoute14ontoRoute198.He’dhadafewjobsoutinMathewsCountyovertheyearsbutnotmany.Mostofthepeopleoutthiswayworkedtheirownyards.
“StayonthisuntilwehitTabernacleRoad.Gonnatakealeftontothat,”BuddyLeesaid.
TabernacleRoadwasthefirsthard-surfaceleftturnafteryoudrovethroughthetownofMathews.Pastthegrocerystoreandthepostofficeandthelibrary.PastaCivilWarstatuetwostepsfromthecourthousebuilding.IketookthatleftandfollowedTabernacleuntilBuddyLeetoldhimtoturnrightontoalongdustyloggingroad.
Theroadwounddownthroughadensecanopyofpinetreesuntilitcametoagravelroadbisectedbyahorsegate.IkestoppedthetruckandBuddyLeehoppedoutwiththekeys.HeunlockedthegateandIkedrovethroughit.BuddyLeehoppedbackinthecarandtheycontinueddownthegravelroad.Attheenditopenedintoaspaciousmeadow.Totheirleftwasanarrowbarn-redrectangularsteelbuildingwithoneroll-updoorinthecenteroftherectangle.Therewasawindowtotherightoftheroll-updoor.Thebuildingitselfwasnearlyahundredfeetlong.Totheirrightwereseveraltacticaltargetsarrangedonashootingcourse.Mostofthetargetswerepapersilhouettesoverplywood.AfewofthemwerecartoonishimagesofBlackandHispanicmen.
“Yourbrotherisarealasshole,”Ikesaidwhenhesawthem.
“Yeah.Iwon’targuewithyouonthatone,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikeparkedthetruck.Theygotoutandwalkeduptothemainbuilding.
BuddyLeeunlockedthedoorandIkefollowedhiminside.Abunkhousetablesattotherightofthedoor.Afewchairswerescatteredaroundthetable.Bitsofrandombric-a-bracweredottedthroughoutthespace.Acoupleoffishingrods.Astuffeddeer’sheadlyingonitsside.ADON’TTREADONMEflagthatmusthavefallenoffthewall.Totheirleftthecavernousstructurewasfilledwithtwentyorsowoodencrates,hardplastictotes,andafewgunnysacks.
BuddyLeewanderedovertothecrates.Hepulledthelidoffoneandwhistled.
“Goddamn.Youcouldstoparhinohoppeduponmethwiththissonofabitch,”BuddyLeesaid.Hepulledafullyautomaticshotgunwitharevolvingcylinderoutofthebox.
“Yougotshellstogoalongwiththat?”Ikeasked.
“Hegotmoreshellsthanasharkgotteethinthisotherbox,”BuddyLeesaidashepulledthelidoffanothercrate.
“Thosestreetsweepersain’tlegalintheStates,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeewavedhishandoverthecratesandboxes.
“Noneofthisislegal,Ike.Themmilitiaboysherunwithdon’tcottontoanylawsexcepttheSecondAmendment.”
“Iknowthat.I’mjustthinkingaboutwhetherornottheATFgotyourbrotherundersurveillance.Gonnabesomefireworksheretonight,”Ikesaid.
“IftheFedswereontohim,thisplacewouldn’tbehere.Idon’tthinkweneedtoworryaboutdrawingnoattentiontonight,neither.Wesofarinthewoodswe’dhavetogobackfivemilestheotherwaytofindtheboondocks,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Ifyousayso,”Ikesaid.
BuddyLeecontinuedexploringthecrates.Thesheerdepthandbreadthoftheamountofmachineguns,rifles,pistols,and—Godsaveus—landmineswasmind-boggling.
Wemightneedeverybitofthis,BuddyLeethought.Heopenedacrateagainstthewall.
“Well,shit.Ike,comehere,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikecameoverandstaredinthecrate.
“That’swhatIthinkitis?”Ikesaid.
“Yep.IsupposeifyougotlooselipslikeChetyoubestbeparanoidandhaveabackupplan,”BuddyLeesaid.Ikepeeredinthecrate,thenatthedoorofthebunkhouse,thenbackinthecrate.
“Youknowitdon’tmatterhowmanygunswegothere,it’sjusttwoofus.Maybeweneedourownbackupplan,”Ikesaid.
“What’sgoingoninthatbigol’craniumofyours?”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’mthinkingwegonnaneedmorebangforourbuck.Comeon,let’sgetbacktoRedHill.Weneedtogobytheshop.Igotanidea,”Ikesaid.
“What,wegonnachallengethemtoaduelwithshovels?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Notexactly,”Ikesaid.
Bythetimethey’dgonetotheshop,gottenwhattheyneeded,thengonebacktothecompoundandputitinplace,thengonebacktoBuddyLee’s,itwasalittleafterone.BuddyLeecouldhearasolidthumpingsoundcomingfromhistrailer.
“IfIgaveadamnaboutthistrailer,I’dbeupset,’causeitsoundlikethatol’boyintherekickinglikeamule,”BuddyLeesaid.IkefollowedBuddyLeeintohishouse.
BuddyLeewentdownthehalltohisbathroom.Hepokedhisheadinside.
“Ifyoudon’tstopkickingthatwall,I’mgonnacomeinthereandI’mgonnabreakyourfuckinglegs,”BuddyLeesaid.HisstatementcaughtGatsbyinmid-kick.Theoldermanputhisfootdownflatonthefloor.
“That’sbetter,”BuddyLeesaid.Hewentbacktothelivingroom.Ikewasonthesofa,sohemeltedintohiseasychair.
“Wegotsometime.YouwannagocheckonMya?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Icalledthehospitalwhileyouwastalkingtoyourbrother.Nochange,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeetookadeepbreath.
“Shegonnabealright,Ike.”
“Idon’tknowifanyofusareevergonnabealrighteveragain,”Ikesaid.HepulledouthisphoneandsentatextmessagetoGerald:
3493TabernacleRoad.MathewsVa.8pm
Heputthephoneaway.
“AllIknowis,nomatterwhathappenstonight,weputtingthemboysintheground.Allofthem,”Ikesaid.
“Ike,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah?”
“Iwishwehadmetatthewedding.Iwishbothofushadbeenthere.”
“Mygrandmotherusedtosayifwisheswerehorses,beggarswouldride.ButIhearwhatyousaying.Iwishwehad,too,”Ikesaid.
“Well,I’mgonnagetsomesleep.Wehadalongday.I’dsaywecommittedatleastfifteenfelonies,”BuddyLeesaid.
AfewminuteslaterIkeheardhimsnoring.Ikelaidhisheadbackonthesofabuthedidn’tclosehiseyes.Heknewifheslept,Isiahwouldbewaitingforhiminhisdreams.
Orhisnightmares.
FORTY-THREE
MargowasjustabouttositdownandsettleinfortheJeopardy!TournamentofChampionswhensomeonestartedbangingonherdoor.
“Godblessit,”shemurmuredasshewenttothedoor.WhensheopeneditBuddyLeewasstandingonherfrontstep.
“Jesus,youlookworsethanthelasttimeIsawyou.Areyougettinganysleepatall?”Margoasked.
“Anyoneevertellyouthatyouhaveawaywithwords?”BuddyLeesaid.
“It’sagift.What’sup?Yougetanewtruck?Abouttime,ifyouaskme,”Margosaid.BuddyLeemovedstraystrandsofhairoutofhisface.ForaninstantMargothoughtshesawaglimpseofthebright-eyedhandsomecountryboyheusedtobeonceuponatime.
“No,that’smypartner’struck.Hey,Iwantedtotellyou,you’reagoodneighbor.YoucheckonmeandmakesureI’mnotturningintoapickleinsideabottleofJameson.Ithinkyou’reprobablytheonlypersononearthwhocaresaboutwhathappenstome,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Well,that’sniceofyou,butwhyyoutalkinglikeyouabouttoleadtheChargeoftheLightBrigade?”Margoasked.BuddyLeeputhisfootonhertopstepandleanedforward.
“Iain’tneverhadverymanyfemalefriends.I’veknownalotofwomen,butIcan’tsaymanyofthemwaswhatyou’dcallfriends.Ithinkyou’remyfirst,Margo.”Hestopped.Shewatchedhimsethisjawbeforehecontinued.
“You’reagoodwomanandagoodfriend.Takecareofyourself,”BuddyLeesaid.
“BuddyLee,what’sgoingon?”Margoasked.Heflashedacrookedgrin.
“Givingyouyourflowerswhileyou’restillalive,sugar,”hesaid.Hesteppedbackandgaveheratwo-fingersalute.Shewatchedhimlopeovertohispartner’struckandclimbinthepassenger’sside.Acloudofdustfollowedthemastheytoreoutofthetrailerpark.
“Comeon,Gatsby.Laststop,everybodyoff,”BuddyLeesaid.HehelpedIkedragtheoldmanoutofthetruckbedandintothebunkhouse.Theytiedhimtoametalfoldingchairwithanotherpairofzipties.Thechairwassittingnexttoafifty-five-gallonmetaldrum.Atthebaseofthedrumwasaboxwithsomewiresandaflatcircularwheelinside.
“Alright,I’mgonnamovethetruck.Keepaneyeonhim,”Ikesaid.
“I’lltrynottokillhim,”BuddyLeesaid.Gatsby’seyeswentwide.
“Oh,calmdown,I’mjustfuckingwithyou.”HeturnedbacktoIke.“Remember,ifyougopasttheotherentrance,godowntothepostofficeandturnaround.Bequick.There’snotsupposedtobeanotherroadbackhere.Chetusedtocomplainaboutthecountycharginghimmoretaxesthemoreegresspointshehadorsomething.Wedon’twanttodrawnoattention,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Longasthatothergateain’tlocked,weshouldbeokay,”Ikesaid.
Ikemovedthetrucktotheheadoftheotherroad,thenmadehiswaybacktothecompoundthroughafootpaththattookhimpassacorrugatedmetalouthouse.Thepastfewnightshadbeencool,asthelastvestigesofwinterrefusedtocedetheirkingdomtothespring.Tonight,theairwasunseasonablysultry.Bythetimehemadeitbacktothebunkhousehewascoatedinathinsheenofsweat.
BuddyLeewassittingonthebenchthatranalongthebackwallofthestructure.HewasholdinganAR-15withanextendedmag.Ikegrabbedanautomaticshotgunoutofthecrateandloadeditwithhigh-velocityshells.Hesatdownatthetablethatwassituatednearthecenterofthebuilding.Hecheckedhiswatch.Itwas7:30P.M.
“Youthinkthere’sanythingafterthis?Afterwedie,Imean?”BuddyLeeasked.
“Youworryingaboutyoursoul,BuddyLee?”Ikesaid.Hewascradlingtheshotgunlikeanewborn.
BuddyLeeclearedhisthroat.
“Imean,ifthereis,I’mprettysurewhereI’mheaded.I’vemadepeacewiththat,Ireckon.Ijustwonder,Imean,doyouthinkwe’llseetheboys?Like,ifwedon’tmakeitoutofthis,youthinkwe’llpassthemonourwaydownsouth?”BuddyLeesaid.Ikepeeredoutthewindow.Thesunhadsetbutahalf-moonhadclockedinforthenightshift.
“Ihopenot,”Ikesaid.
“Youhopenot?Man,theonlythingthatkeepsmeholdingontoanyofthatshitmypastorusedtoscreamaboutwhilehewasjugglingthemoldcopperheadstheykeptinthebackofthechurchisthenotionImightseemyboyagain.GetachancetotellhimallthethingsIshouldhavebeforetheytookhimfromme,”BuddyLeesaid.
“TheonlythingI’dwanttosaytoIsiahisthatI’msorry.AndIcouldn’tsayitenoughevenifIhadforevertosayit.Icouldn’tsayitenough,”Ikesaid.Hisvoicetrailedofftoawhisper.
Inthedistancetheybothheardtheroarandthunderofmotorcycleengines.Wordlesslytheybothgotupfromtheirseats.BuddyLeecuttheziptiesthatsecuredGatsbytothefoldingchair.Healsocuttheonesaroundhisankles.
“Getup,”Ikesaid.HegrabbedGatsbybythearmandwalkedtotheroll-updoor.
Ikepushedabuttononthewallnexttothedooranditbegantorise.HegrippedhisshotguntightandstoodshouldertoshoulderwithGatsby.BuddyLeedidthesameontheotherside.Hecheckedhiswatch.Itwas7:45.
“Theytriedtogetthejumponus,”BuddyLeesaid.
“It’slikethatstory.Thewolfgetstotheturnippatchatsixinthemorning.Therabbitbeenthereandgone,”Ikesaid.
“Wetherabbits,inthatstory,right?”BuddyLeesaid.
“Yeah,butwegonnaeatthemlikewe’rethewolves,”Ikesaid.
Aphalanxofmotorcyclespouredintothemeadow.Theypulledinfrontofthetacticalcourseandfacedthebuilding.Ikecountedtwenty-fivebythetimetheCadillacSRXpulledinbehindthem.TheblondVikingwasridingachoppedhogwithapehangersandahighsissybarintheback.Therewasagreensackcoveringthesissybar.Theblondbikerpoppedhiskickstandandgotoffhisbike.Thegreensackwasattachedtohissaddlebagswithbungeecords.Hereleasedthecordsandremovedthegreensack.Ariannawasinacarseatthatwasstrappedtothesissybyaboutfivemilesofrope.
Ikealmostshothimrightthenandthere.
Theairshimmeredwiththeheatfromthecollectedenginesrevvingandgrowling.GeraldclimbedoutoftheCadillac.Hewaswearingawhitebutton-downshirtopenatthethroatandloose-fittingkhakis.HestrodeovertostandinfrontoftheViking.Geraldputhishandsonhishipsandjuttedouthischin.BuddyLeegrippedhisrifle.Heknewwhenaprickwaspreening.Hewastryingtousesomebullshitpsychologicalmanipulation.Maybehethoughtifhedidn’tactlikehewasscaredshitlessitwouldmakeitso.
“Youokay,Pop?”Geraldyelled.Gatsbyshookhishead.
“Whathaveyoudonetohim?”Geraldsaid.
“He’sfine.Hegottoseehowtheotherhalflives,isall.Otherthanthat,he’salright.Nowcutthegirlloose,”BuddyLeesaid.Sweatwasworkingitswayacrosshisbrowlikealazycaterpillar.Thenighthadenvelopedthemall.
“YouknowthestoryofAlexandertheGreatandtheislandofTyre?”Geraldsaid.
“Yougivingafuckinghistorylesson…now?”BuddyLeeasked.Geraldsmiled.
Ikesaid,“Tyrewassupposedtobeimpenetrable,butAlexandertookitaftersixmonths.Thepointwasthathehadmoredeterminationthananyothergeneral.Now,canwegetonwithit?”
Geraldstoppedsmiling.
“Youain’ttheonlyonewhocanreadafuckingbook,Winthrop,”Ikesaid.
“Sendmyfatherover,”Geraldsaid.
“Cutthegirllooseandsendherover,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Grayson,”Geraldsaid.GraysonunbuckledAriannafromhercarseat.Heloweredhertotheground.Thewindcameupandtossedhercurlsaroundherhead.
“Hey,LittleBit!”BuddyLeesaid.
“Comeonover,booboo,”Ikesaid.Ariannatookasteptowardthem.Grayson’shandshotoutandwrappedaroundherwrist.Ariannasquealed.ThesoundsetBuddyLee’steethonedge.
“Let.Her.Go,”Ikesaid.
“Grayson,Ihavethisundercontrol,”Geraldsaid.
“Bullshit.Youain’tgotnothingundercontrol.Thesebastardshaveyourdaddy,andyoujustlettingthemgettheirlittlemongrelback?Fuckthat.Sametime,shitkicker.”
“Sametime.Wesendthematthesametime,”BuddyLeesaid.HenudgedGatsby.Theoldmantookafewtentativesteps.GraysonreleasedArianna’sarm.
“Run,”Graysonsaid.
Ariannaheldherlefthandagainstherear.Shetookafewsteps,thenstopped.
“Comeon,LittleBit.Comeonover,”BuddyLeesaid.Ariannabegantocry.
“Ohno,LittleBit,don’tcry.Justcomeon,babygirl,”BuddyLeesaid.Gatsbywashalfwayacrosstheyard.
“Arianna.Comeon,babygirl.Cometo…cometoGranddaddy,”Ikesaid.Ariannatookahaltingstep.
“That’sright,baby,comeontoGranddaddy,”Ikesaid.Ariannatookoffrunning.Herchubbylegspistoningupanddowninshortchoppyburstsofmovement.SheranpastGatsbyashestumbledtowardGerald.
“Comeon,Pop,let’sgetyououtofhere,”Geraldsaid.Heheldouthisarmsforhisfather.
Therestoftheclubhaddismountedtheirbikes.Gunsappearedintheirhandslikeaquick-cuteditingtechnique.IkegotdownononekneeandheldouthisarmstoAriannawhilebalancinghisshotgunagainsthisshoulder.
“Yeah,sugar,that’sit.ComeontoGranddaddy,”Ikesaid.
Graysonmovedtohisright.Hepulledhis.357fromhiswaistband.Hewantedtogetupcloseandpersonalwiththesefuckers.
AriannaleaptintoIke’swaitingembrace.Hegrippedhertightwithonearmandgrabbedtheshotgunwiththeotherbeforefallingbackintothebunkhouse.
Geraldsmiledathisfather.Theoldmanpulledtheducttapeawayfromhismouthwithadeterminedsnapofhiswrists.
“Gerald,whatthehellhaveyougottenyourselfmixedupinthistime?”Gatsbyroared.
GunfireeruptedasBuddyLeedroppedtheroll-updoor.Bulletsexplodedthroughthemetalsidingandrippeddime-sizedholesthroughtheroll-updoor.BuddyLeewenttooneofthewindowsandbeganreturningfirewiththeAR-15.Hestrafedtheentiremeadowfromlefttoright.Thebikersscatteredlikeroaches.Afewhidbehindthebackstopsofthetacticaltargets.Afewmoreflippedoneofthepicnictablesandusedthatascoverastheyreturnedfire.Themajorityofthemretreatedintothebrushthatsurroundedthemeadowandbeganreturningfirefromtheshadows.
IkeopenedthecratenearthebackwallofthebunkhouseandloweredAriannaintoit.Aburningsensationeruptedinhisleftbiceplikehe’dbeentouchedbyahotpoker.IkefloppedtothefloorandcrawledovertothewindowoppositeBuddyLee.
Theautomaticshotgunbuckedhardasheunloadedonthedarkness.TherearparkinglightsoftheSRXcastaredglowacrossthemeadowasthecarbegantolurchforward.Ikesawagroupofbikerstryingtomakearunforthefarsideofthecompound.Theydancedandjumpedlikereligiouszealotsinthethroesofecstasyastheslugsfromtheshotgunrippedintothem.
No,youdon’t,youmotherfucker.Youdon’tgettoleavethepartyearly,darling,BuddyLeethought.HeemptiedafusilladeofbulletsintotheSRX.TheSRX’sfiberglassbodywasnomatchfortheAR-15’spower.Eachbulletpunchedquarter-sizedholesinthevehiclefromtheenginetothehatchback.Thecarcareenedoffthesideoftheroadanddownaslightembankmentuntilitcrashedintothewidetrunkofanoaktree.
BuddyLeepoppedouthisemptyclipandslammedanotheronehome.Ikelikewisehadtoreload.Thebikerstookthisopportunitytoadvanceonthebunkhouse.Theypepperedthesteelbuildingwithanendlesstempestofgunfireastheypushedforward.
Ikewipedhiseyesandhishandcameawaymottledinred.Chunksofconcreteandsliversofmetalsheetingwererainingdownonthem.IkeandBuddyLeemayhavehadthemorepowerfulweapons,buttheRareBreedhadthenumbers.BuddyLeedroppedtothefloor,heldhisriflealoft,andfiredblindlythroughthenearestwindow.Ikefiredonelastbarragebeforetossingtheautomaticshotgunaside.HeknewhehadtakenoutafewoftheBreedbutnotenough.Notnearlyenough.
Hecrawledacrosstheflooronhisbellyuntilhereachedthefifty-five-gallondrum.AsBuddyLeecontinuedtoshootblindly,Ikesetthe“timer.”ThetimerwasinactualityacannibalizedCDplayerandasimplecircuitattachedtoanoldignitionswitch.Theignitionswitchwastapedtotheundersideofthelidofthedrum.
Ikehadcomeupwiththeideaassoonashe’dseenwhatwasinthatspecialcratenearthebackwall.Itwastheirwayout.Itwaswhatwasgoingtoallowthemtopaythedebttheyowedtheirboys.Adebtthatwasabouttobepaidinblood
IkehadknowntheyneededsomethingpowerfulontheirsideagainstGeraldandhisboys.Somethingthatwouldleveltheplayingfield.Somethingmadewiththeammoniumnitrate–richfertilizerIkehadindozensofbagsbackathiswarehouse.Alandscapermightnothaveguns,buthehadalotmorethanshovels.Neitheroneofthemhadmuchexperience,butGooglehadhelpedthemonceagain.
Thehugedrumwasnearlyfulloffertilizerandgasoline.Whenthetimerwentoffitwouldsendachargethroughthecircuittotheignitionswitch.Theignitionwireshadbeenpeeledbackjustenoughtomakeroomforaspark.Asimplebutdeadlyeffectivebomb.
“Let’sgo!”Ikesaid.Hedisappearedinsidethecratenearthebackwall.BuddyLeeletoffonelastsalvo,thenmadeadashforthecrate.HeshimmieddownthealuminumladderandfollowedIke,withAriannainhisarms,intothetunnelthatranunderthebunkhouse.
Graysonemptiedhis.357intothebuilding,droppedtheemptyshells,thenreloaded.Heonlyhadtwomorespeedloadersleft.Thatwastwelveshots.DomehitthebuildingwithablastfromhisMAC-11.Graysonheardafewmoreshotsfromhisbrothers.Hepeeredfromaroundthebackstopatthebuilding.ItresembledablockofSwisscheese.Inside,afluorescentlightfixturehungfromtheceilingbyathinwire.Itswunglazilybackandforthcreatingastrobe-lighteffectthroughthewindow.Graysonfiredthreemoreshotsatthewindow.
Therewasnoreturnfire.
“Goddamnit,Ithinkwegottheirasses!”Graysonthought.Hestoodupstraight.
Nothing.Notapeepfromtheoutbuilding.
“Wegot’em.WEGOT’EM!”Graysonroared.HesmackedDomeontheback.
“Godrag’emout.Wegonnamakeanexampleofthesefuckers,”Graysonsaid.Domestoodupbuthesitatedamoment.Hereallydidn’twanttoseethatlittlegirl’sdeadbody.
“Don’tmakemehavetotellyouagain,”Graysonsaid.Domeforcedhislegstomove.Therestofthemembersoftheclubthatweren’tdeadorinjuredfollowedhimashestalkedtowardthebuilding.
Domekickedopenthefrontdoorthatwastotheleftoftheroll-updoor.
Whentheorangeflashfilledhisentirefieldofvision,onewordappearedinhismindsecondsbeforehewasvaporized.
Karma,Domethought.
Theneverythingwentblack.
Ikealmostcriedoutforjoywhenhishandsfoundthecoolmetalrungsoftheladderthatsatatthebottomofthefauxprivy.HepulledhimselfandAriannauponerungatatimeuntiltheyemergedinsidetheouthouse.IkepushedthedooropenandtookgreatdeepbreathsasheandAriannasteppedoutintotheswelteringnight.BuddyLeefollowedthemcoveredinsootandcoughingupalung.Ariannawassobbinguncontrollably.
“It’sokay,babygirl.Wegotcha,”Ikemurmuredasheheldhertight.
“JesusH.Christ,you’dthinkChetwouldhaveputabetterventilationsysteminthattunnel.It’sgoteverythingelsebutaneasychairdownthere,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’mgonnatakehertothetruck.She’sscared,”Ikesaid.
“I’mgonnastayhereandseeifIcancatchmeabreath.Whenyougetbackwe’llgoondownthereandseeaboutourfriends,”BuddyLeesaid.Hestartedcoughingagain.
“Berightback,”Ikesaid.
“I’llbehere,”BuddyLeesaidasIkeandAriannamadetheirwayupthepath.
IkestrappedAriannainthepassenger’sseat.HepulledupagameonhiscellphonethatinvolvedflyingpiecesoffruitandputthephoneinArianna’slap.
“Grandpopgottagocheckonsomething,okay?”hesaid.Ariannaignoredhimasshemovedhertinyfingersacrossthephone’sscreen.
IkeandBuddyLeewalkedbackalongthepathtothecompoundinsilence.Ikecouldsmelltheresultsoftheirhandiworkonthebreeze.Awitch’sbrewofimmolatedfleshandaharshchemicalscenthalfwaybetweenchlorineandalcohol.
“Fuckinghell,”BuddyLeesaidwhentheyreachedthecompound.Moreaccurately,whentheyreachedtheplacewherethecompoundhadoncestood.Aflickeringringofflamesonehundredfeetindiameterencircledtheformermilitiaheadquarters.Thesteeloutbuildingwasgone.Theconcretefootingthatithadsatuponwascrackedinthemiddleandscorchedfromendtoend.Thetacticalshootingrangehadbeenobliterated.Pilesofburninghayfromthetargetbackstopslitteredthegroundinalldirections.
Themotorcyclesthathadbeenparkedindiagonallineswithmilitaryprecisionwereformlessclumpsofmetalmoreakintoamoebasthanmachines.Hereandtherewererecognizableparts.Ahandlebar,afootpeg,afrontwheel,butforthemostpartthebikeshadbeenreducedtotwistedamalgamationsofleather,steel,iron,andchrome.Theirownershadsufferedasimilarfate.
IkecarriedGatsby’spistol.BuddyLeehadhisknifeandtheAR-15slungoverhischestonastrap.Theymovedthroughthebodiesreadytofinishwhattheyhadstarted,butIkesooncametorealizethatwouldn’tbenecessary.TheBreedwasdone.Theoneswhohadn’tbeentornasunderbytheinitialexplosionhadfoundtheirinsidesliquefiedbythesubsequentshockwave.
Bodiesandbodypartswerestrewnacrosstheclearinglikepartystreamers.BuddyLeeglancedupatapinetreenearthetacticalcourse.Thereweretwoarmsinthetree.Theywerebothleft-handed.BuddyLeeshookhishead.
“IthinkthischapteroftheRareBreeddonegotcloseddownpermanently,”BuddyLeesaid.
IkewasabouttorespondwhentheyheardapitifulwhimperingcomingfromthedirectionoftheSRX.IkeandBuddyLeelookedateachother,thenwalkedovertothevehicle.Allthewindowshadbeenshatteredfromtheforceoftheblast.Ikepeeredinsidethecar.
Gatsbywaslyingoveronhisside.Bloodwasdrippingfromhisear.Hislowertorsoandlapweresoakedinred.Ikecouldsmellthepungentodorofshitwaftingupfromtheinsideofthecar.Ikereachedhishandinsidethewindowandputhisfingerstotheolderman’sneck.Therewasnopulse.
BuddyLeeopenedthedriver’ssidedoor.
GeraldWinthropCulpepperfelltothegroundlikeasackofwetlaundry.Hewasmoaningandwhimperingfromaplacedeepinhisbroadchest.Hiskhakisweresosoakedinbloodtheyappearedburgundy.Geraldpulledhimselfalongthegroundthroughthedetritusthatcoveredtheforestfloor.BuddyLeepushedasideaclutchofbramblesashefollowedbehindGerald.Ikecameupalongsidethem.BuddyLeeputhisfootinthemiddleoftheGerald’sbackandstoppedhisforwardprogress.
“Whereyougoing,hoss?”BuddyLeeaskedconversationally.Ikecamearoundthebackofthecar.Hehadthe.44downbyhisside.BuddyLeegrabbedGeraldbyhisshouldersandflippedhimover.
“Pleasedon’t,”Geraldrasped.
“Don’twhat?”Ikesaid.
“Pleasedon’tkillme.I’msorry.I’msosorry,”Geraldsaid.Hisbroadfacewasslickwithsweat.Allaroundthemthegentlecracklingoftheflamesfilledthenight,drowningoutthenaturalsoundsoftheforest.
“Everybodysorrywhentheygetcaught,”BuddyLeesaid.
“Please,I’msick.I’masickman,”Geraldsaid.
“Oh,yousick?Why,becauseyoulikedbeingwithTangerine?”Ikeasked.
“Yes!Ineedhelp!”Geraldgasped.Ikeleanedforwardandstaredintheman’sbloodshoteyes.
“Youthinkmysonwassick?Orhisson?OrTangerine?Youthinktheydeservetodiebecauseyoucan’tdealwithwhoyouare?”Ikeasked.Geraldsaidnothing.Ikestraightenedhimself.
“Thefunnythingis,ifmyboywashere,he’dfeelsorryforyou.Ifhissonwasherehe’dprobablyforgiveyou,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeeopenedhisknife.Itclickedashelockedthebladeinplace.
“Buttheyain’there,arethey?”BuddyLeeasked.
“No,theyain’t,”Ikesaid.
IkeandBuddyLeethreadedtheirwaythroughthewoodsastheytookthepathbacktothetruck.Theydidn’tspeakbecausetherewasn’tanythinglefttosay.Ikefeltlikehecouldsleepforahundredyears.Hismindandbodybothfeltasiftheyhadbeenwrungdry.ForthefirsttimeinalongtimeBuddyLeedidn’twantadrink.Hedidn’twantanythingtodullthismoment.Notonedamnthing.
Theycameupontotheprivateroadwherethetruckwasparked.
Thepassengerdoorwaswideopen.
“Arianna?”Ikesaid.
“LittleBit!”BuddyLeesaid.Hishearthammeredagainsthisribs.Whatifthey’ddoneallthisandthenAriannagotlostinthefuckingwoods?
“Sherighthere,”agravellyvoicesaid.
Graysonwasstandinginfrontofthetruck.HehadAriannacradledinhisleftarm.Hisrighthandwasholdingthe.357.Thebarrelwaspressedagainsthertemple.
“Droptheguns,”Graysonsaid.Hisfacewasslatheredinbloodanddirt.Salivaspilledfromhismouthinlongsilverystrands.Thelightfromthehalf-moonmadehimlookliketheghostofatrueViking—aphantomcoveredinfacepaintwho’descapedfromValhallaintentonspreadingterroracrossthelandoftheliving.
“Lethergo,”Ikesaid.
“Fuckyou.Dropthegunsandtossmethekeys.”
“Thekeys?Hoss,youdon’tlooklikeyoucoulddriveafuckingnail,”BuddyLeesaid.
“I’msofuckingsickofyou.Ofbothofyou.Droptheguns.Tossthekeys.Now.OrI’mgonnablowthislittlebitch’sheadoff,”Graysonsaid.Hisbreathwascominginsharpburststhatmadehimgrimace.
Nothingwassaidforafewpainfullylongmoments.
“Ike,dowhathesays.It’swhatmydaddywoulddo.”BuddyLeesaid.Ikestaredathim.
BuddyLeenodded.
“Yeah,boy,dowhatIsay,”Graysonsaid.
Ikedroppedthegun.BuddyLeeslippedofftherifleandlaiditontheground.Ikemadeabigshowofdiggingaroundinhispocketsforthekeys.WhileGraysonfocusedonIke,BuddyLeeslippedhisknifeoutofhisbackpocketandpalmeditashestoodup.AsIkerummagedaroundinhispocketBuddyLeequietlyopenedthebladewithhisthumb.
“Okay,here’sthekeys,”Ikesaidholdingthemupinfrontofhisface.
“Tossthematmyfeet.Becareful.I’mfeelingwoozy.Youdon’twantmetoslipandpullthistriggerbyaccident,”Graysonsaid.
Iketossedthekeys.TheylandedjustafewinchesshyofGrayson’sboots.Graysonwentdowntooneknee.HepawedatthegroundwithhislefthandwhilekeepingAriannainthecrookofhiselbow.Hegrippedthekeysandstraightenedhimself.HetookthegunfromArianna’sheadandpointeditatBuddyLee.
“IwishthiswasthepieceIdidyourboyswith,”Graysonsaid.
“Lethergo!”Ikeroared.Grayson’seyesflickedtowardhim.
BuddyLeelaunchedtheknifeatGraysonwithaviciousunderhandedthrow.Thebladeimpaleditselfinhisneckwithawetsuckingsound.Graysonpulledthetriggerofhisguninawild,rapidsuccessionofshots.Ariannatumbledfromhisarms.Ikesurgedforward,droppedtohisknees,andcaughtAriannaandpulledhertohischest.Herolledtohissideandkepthisbodybetweenherandthegunfire.
Graysonstaggeredaroundindrunkenconcentriccircles.The.357slippedfromhishand.Bloodasslickandwhisperyasmercurypouredfromthewoundinhisneck.Inhisdesperationandfearhepulledtheknifefree.Thisjusthastenedhisdemise,asthebloodnowpouredforthlikeageyser.Hepitchedforwardandlandedface-firstinthedirtevenasbloodstillbubbledfromhisneck.
IkegotupwithAriannainhisarms.Shewasn’tcrying.Shewasn’tmakinganysoundatall.Ikethoughtthatwasalmostworsethanhercries.Therewasnoneedtocheckonthebikertomakesurehewasdead.ThebloodtrailthatfollowedhimwasalltheproofIkeneeded.
InsteadhewenttoBuddyLee.Hewassittingonthegroundleaninghisheadagainstthetruck.Hehadhishandspressedagainsthisabdomen.IkeplacedAriannaonthehood.HewentdowntohiskneesandputhisarmaroundBuddyLee’sthinshoulders.
“Getup.Wegottagetyoutoahospital,”Ikesaid.
“I…don’t…think…that’s…gonna…cut…it…,hoss,”BuddyLeesaid.Hemovedhishands.Hisgrayshirtwassowetwithblooditlookedblackinthemoonlight.
“Shutupandlet’sgo,”Ikesaid.HestartedtoriseandBuddyLeegrabbedhisarm.Hispalmwascoldandclammy.Hishandwascoveredinhisownblood.
“I…ain’t…gonna…make…to…the…victory…party,”BuddyLeesaid.
Ikewentbackdowntooneknee.BuddyLee’sbreathingwasbecomingshallowerandshallower.
“Stay…with…me,”BuddyLeesaid.IkeshiftedhisweightuntilhewassittingnexttoBuddyLee.Heputhisarmaroundthemanandfeltthebrittlenessjustunderhisskin.Itwaslikehuggingababybird.
“It’scancer,ain’tit?Allthecoughingandshit,”Ikesaid.BuddyLeenodded,hisheadmovingatasnail’space.
“You…think…I’ll…see…the…boys?”BuddyLeeasked.Ikehadtostraintohearhim.Hebithisbottomlipsoharditnearlybled.
“Ihopeso,”Ikesaid.
“Metoo,”BuddyLeesaid.
ThenheslumpedagainstIke’schest.Hisheadlolledtothesideandhewasstill.Ikewrappedhisarmaroundhimandpulledhimclose.HesatthatwayuntilAriannaspoke.
“Himtired?”sheasked.Ikewipedhisface.HecarefullylayBuddyLeeonhisside.
“Yeah,buthegonnarestnow,”Ikesaid.
FORTY-FOUR
“Ike,somebodywantstotalktoyou.”
Ikelookedupfromhisinvoices.
“Alright,Tangy.Givemeaminute,”hesaid.Hegotupfromhisdeskandwalkedoutfront.Thecrewwasalreadyoutfortheday.RightnowitwasjusthimandTangyattheoffice.She’dbeenonfortwoweeksandwascatchingonquickasahiccup.Jazzystoppedbyeverynowandthentocheckuponthem,butTangywasdoingjustfine.
“AssoonasIgetonmyfeetI’mgone,”Tangyhadsaid.Ikehadtoldherhedidn’tblameherbuthestillhopedshewouldchangehermind.
Det.LaPlatawaswaitingforhiminthelobby.
“DetectiveLaPlata,”Ikesaid.
“Mr.Randolph,doyouhaveamomenttotalk?”
“Sure,”Ikesaid.Hereachedunderthecounterandgrabbedabottleofwaterfromthecoolerhestoredthere.
“ThefuneralforMr.Jenkinswasnice,”Det.LaPlatasaid.
“Yeah,”Ikesaid.
“Iwasgladtoseeyourwifeandyourgranddaughterthere.Mrs.Culpepper,too.Shetookitprettyhard,didn’tshe?Idon’tthinkmyex-wifewouldcrythathardoverme,”LaPlatasaid.
Ikedidn’tsayaword.
“It’sincredible.Nooneknowswhoburneddownyourhouse,kidnappedyourgranddaughter,andtriedtokillyourwifeandMr.Jenkins,butapparentlytheyhadachangeofheartanddroppedAriannaoffatyouroffice.Simplyamazing,”LaPlatasaid.Ikesippedhiswater.
“Miracleshappeneveryday,”Ikesaid.
“Mr.Randolph,canwecuttheshit?WebothknowitwastheRareBreedthatkidnappedyourgranddaughterandtriedtokillyourwifeandBuddyLeeandburnedyourhousedown.WebothknowyouandBuddyLeewentonthewarpathallacrossthestateculminatinginasceneoutofthegoddamnWildBunchatacompoundownedbyadummycorporationwithtiestotheSonsofFreedom,whojusthappentohavetiestothelateMr.Jenkins’sbrother.Amurderscenewhereawholebunchofbikersandaformerstatesenatorandasittingjudgewerefounddead,”LaPlatasaid.Ikeputhiswaterbottleonthecounter.
“Ididseesomethingonthenewsaboutthat.Theyweresayingthatjudgehadarelationshipwiththembikers?Ithinktheyweresayingthebikershadbeenbribinghimforawhile?ChannelTwelvewassayingmysonandhishusband’snamewascomingupintheinvestigation.Youthinkthisjudgehadsomethingtodowithwhathappentomyson?ToBuddyLee’sson?”Ikeasked.LaPlatagavehimalonghardlook.
“Well,itdoesn’treallymatternowdoesit,Mr.Randolph?Youcan’tprosecuteadeadman,”LaPlatasaid.
“Guessnot,”Ikesaid.LaPlatamoveduptothecounterandleanedonitwithbothhands.
“Youdon’treallythinkanybodybelievesBuddyLeeJenkinskilledallthosebikersandtheCulpeppersbyhimself,doyou?Thathejusthappenedtofigureouthowtoconstructafertilizerbombwithaninth-gradeeducation?”LaPlataasked.Ikecrossedhisarms,carefulnottotouchthewoundonhisleftarm.
“Whyareyouhere,Mr.LaPlata?”Ikeasked.
“DetectiveLaPlata,Mr.Randolph.AndI’mherebecausethere’sanawfullotofpeoplemissingordeadaroundyou.Alotofthemdeserveditbutsomeofthemdidn’t.Idon’tthinkthereareverymanypeoplewhoaregonnashedatearbecauseSliceWalshhasn’tbeenseeninweeks.AndeventhemembersofhisclubthoughtGraysonCamardiewasapieceofshit.ButIalsodon’tthinkLunetteFredricksondeservedtohavehergutssprayedallacrossherlivingroomfloor.Frankly,therearesomanyjurisdictionsinvolved,it’llnevergetsettled.Icouldn’tevengetauthorizationtopullyourcellphonerecords.MosteverybodywhocountsiscontenttolayitallonBuddyLeeandmakethiswholethinggoaway,”LaPlatasaid.
“Butnotyou,”Ikesaid.
“No,notme.Toomanyquestionsarestillfloatingaroundunanswered.No,Ican’tletitgo,becausemenlikeyouaredangerous,Mr.Randolph.Todayitwasavengingyourson.Tomorrowit’llbesomeguywhoflipsyouthebird.I’mherebecauseIwantyoutoknowI’llbewatchingyou,”LaPlatasaid.Ikefinishedhiswaterandtossedthebottleinthetrash.
“Youcanwatchallyouwant.Butnexttimeyoucomebymyplaceofbusinessyoushouldprobablybringawarrant,orImightstartthinkingyou’reharassingme,”Ikesaid.LaPlatagavehimthecop’seyes,butIkewouldn’tdrophisgaze.
“Ihaven’tstartedtoharassyouyet,Mr.Randolph,”LaPlatasaid.
Thechimeonthedoorrang.
“DetectiveLaPlata,”Myasaid.ShewasholdingahugebagoffoodfromSander’s.They’dcutherbraidsduringsurgerysoshewasrockingapixiecut.Ariannacameboundingthroughthedoor.ShedartedpastLaPlataandheadedstraightforIke.Shetuggedonhispantslegasheruffledherhair.
“Hello,Mrs.Randolph,”LaPlatasaid.
“Letmewalkyouout,Detective,”Ikesaid.LaPlatanoddedtoMya.Ariannawavedgoodbyetohim.LaPlatawavedbackbeforeheturnedandheadedfortheexit.Ikefollowedhim.
“There’smyLittleBit!”Tangerinesaid.LaPlataheardAriannagiggle.
LaPlatasteppedthroughthedoorbutthenhestoppedandfacedIke.
“Wasitworthit,Riot?”heasked.Ikesmiled.
“That’snotmyname.Andasfarasitbeingworthit,you’dhavetoaskBuddyLeethat.ButIthinkifhewasstillherehe’dsay…”Ikeloweredhisvoice:
“‘Icouldkillthemallathousandtimesanditwouldn’tevencomeclosetobeingenough.Butitwouldalwaysbeworthit,’”Ikesaid,butitwasRiotwhoboredhiswayintoLaPlata’ssoulwithhisflatdeadeyes.
LaPlatatookastepbackward.
“Goodbye,Detective,”Ikesaid.
Heclosedthedoor.
FORTY-FIVE
Ikeparkedhistruckandgrabbedthebrownpaperbagsittinginthepassengerseat.Hegotoutandbeganthreadinghiswaythroughtheheadstonesthatfilledthecemeterylikeitwasaforestofgranite.
HecameoveraslighthillandsawMargoonherhandsandkneesatBuddyLee’sgrave.Shewasplantingred,white,andbluepetunias.
“Hey,”Ikesaid.Margolookedupandgavehimahalfsmile.
“Don’tcriticizemywork,Mr.LandscapingMan,”Margosaid.Shestoodandwipedherhandsonherjeans.Humming,shegatheredtheemptyplastictraythathadheldthepetunias.Sheputasmallplastictrowelinherbackpocket.
“Iain’tgotnothingtosay.Looksgoodtome,”Ikesaid.
“Ifigurehecoulddowithsomesprucingup.Godknowsheneverdidanythingwiththatdamntrailer,”Margosaid.
“Ithinkhe’dlikeit.”
“Ha!He’dmakesomesmart-asscommentaboutthecolors.CallmeCaptainAmericaorsomeotherfoolishness,”Margosaid.
“Yeah,heprobablywould,”Ikesaid.Margowipedhereyeswiththebackofherhands.
“Lordhavemercy.Hecouldbeanaggravatingcuss,butIsuredomisshisass,”Margosaid.Iketookabreath,suckedhisteeth,thenspoke.
“Yeah.Metoo.”
“Well,I’lllety’allhavesomeprivacy,”Margosaid.
“Youdon’thavetogo,”Ikesaid.
“Yeah,Ido.I’llbebawlinglikeababyinaminute,andIthinkneitheroneofuswannaseethat.Look,Iknowyoucan’tsayit,butIgottaask.Hewentoutfighting,didn’the?”Margosaid.Ikegaveheralongunblinkinglook.Shestudiedhiseyes,sawtheanswertoherquestion,andnoddedherhead.
“Okay.Okay,”shesaid.Sheturnedandhurrieddownthehill.Ikestaredafterherforfewmomentsbeforehefacedthegrave.TheblackgraniteheadstonesaidBUDDYLEEinsteadofWilliam.WhenthestatemedicalexaminerhadreleasedhisbodyBuddyLee’ssisterhadreachedouttoIkeaboutpayingforthefuneral.He’dsaidhewouldbutwithtwoconditions.Theyhadtoburyhimnexttotheboys,andtheheadstonehadtosayBuddyLee.
She’dgladlyacceptedhisconditionssinceitmeantshedidn’thavetopayforanything.
Ikepulledacanofbeerandsmallbottleofliquoroutofthepaperbag.Heopenedthebeerandtookalongsip.Itwascrispandcoldasthefirstmorningofwinter.Hepouredtheremainderofthecanonthegrave.Hemadesurehedidn’tgetanyonthepetunias.
“Hey,man.IthinkI’mgonnainviteMargotoArianna’sbirthdaypartynextweek.Shecouldprobablyusethecompany.Hell,weallcould.TangerinesayssheisgonnacomeupwithaspecialhairdoforMyaandAriannafortheparty.Themthreedonegotthickasthieves.Insurancemansaystheygonnastartonthehousenextweek.Westillstayinginthathotel.It’sprettyfancy.Likeyouwouldsay,‘it’slikeshittinginhighcotton.’”Ikeblinkedhiseyes.
“Ariannaissmartasadamnwhip.Tangygothercountingtofifteen.Mya’sgotherstudyingflashcardswithanimalsonthem.Shecaneventelladogfromawolf.I’vebeentryingtoshowherhowtofight,butMyakeepssayingshe’sonlythree.Weplaythisgamewhereshepunchesthepalmsofmyhands.Shelovesit.Inacoupleyearswe’llmoveuptomitts.Mightevengetanotherheavybagoneday.”
Ikefeltalumpriseinhisthroatbutheforceditdown.
“She’sgrowinglikeaweed,man.Anyway,I’mgonnatalktotheboysforaminute,okay?Iknowyouain’treallyafanofHennessy,”Ikesaid.
HesattheemptybeercanonBuddyLee’sheadstone.Heunscrewedthecaponthebottleandtookalongswig.Itburnedgoingdownbutsettledinhisstomachwithcomfortablewarmnessthatmadehisupperbodytingle.HepouredalittlebitofthecognaconIsiah’sandDerek’sgraves.
“Iloveyou,Isiah.Iknowitdidn’talwaysseemlikethat.IknowIdidn’talwaysactlikeit,butIloveyousogoddamnmuch.WetellAriannaaboutyouandDerekallthetime.Weshowherthepicturesthatmadeitthroughthefire.Wetellherhowshe’slovedbysomanypeople.Me,hergrandmothers.HerAuntTangerine.Hertwoguardianangels.”Ikegotdownononekneeandtookanothersipofthecognac.
“Shewon’teverhavetowonderifthepeoplewhoaresupposedtolovehernomatterwhatactuallydo.Ipromiseyouthat.Shewon’teverhavetogothroughwhatyouwentthrough.WhatIputyouthrough,”Ikesaid.
Hetouchedthenewheadstone.RanhisfingersovertheengravingofIsiah’sname,thenDerek’s.
“Youknowhowyouusedtosaylovewaslove?Ididn’tgetit.Ididn’twanttogetit,Iguess.ButIunderstandnow.AndI’msogoddamnsorryittookallofthis,butIreallydogetitnow.Agoodfather,agoodman,lovesthepeoplethatlovehischildren.Iwasn’tagoodfather.I’mnotagoodman.ButI’mgonnatrytobeagoodgrandfather,”Ikesaid.Herosetohisfeet.
“I’mgonnatryrealhard,”Ikesaid.
Thetearscameagain.Theypouredfromhiseyesandranoverhischeeks.Floweddowntothestubbleonhischin.
Thistimetheydidn’tfeelsomuchlikerazorblades.Theyfeltlikethelong-awaitedanswertoamournfulprayerforrain.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Anovelisalwaysacollaborativeeffort.Thewordsareminebutthepolishingandmoldingofthestorybearsthefingerprintsofmanyhands.
I’dliketothankJoshGetzler,myagentandthebiggestchampionofmywriting.Thankyouforbelievinginmeandmystories.FatethrewustogetherandIcouldn’tbehappieraboutit.
ThankyoutoChristineKoppraschandtheentireteamatFlatironBooks.IcontinuetolearnfromyouevenasIattempttoteachyouasmanySoutherncolloquialismsaspossible.
I’dliketothankmyfriendsandfellowwritersNikkiDolson,P.J.Vernon,ChadWilliamson,andJerryBloomfieldforreadingearlyversionsofthisbook.YourcandorandsupportmeantmorethanIcouldeversay.
Andasalways,thankyou,Kim.
Youknowwhy.
You’vealwaysknown.
ALSOBYS.A.COSBY
BlacktopWasteland
MyDarkestPrayer
ABOUTTHEAUTHOR
S.A.CosbyisanAnthonyAward–winningwriterfromsoutheasternVirginia.HeisalsothebestsellingauthorofBlacktopWasteland,aNewYorkTimesNotableBook,whichwonanL.A.TimesBookPrizeandwasnamedasaBestBookoftheYearbyNPR,theSouthFloridaSunSentinel,andTheGuardian,amongothers.Youcansignupforemailupdateshere
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Thisisaworkoffiction.Allofthecharacters,organizations,andeventsportrayedinthisnovelareeitherproductsoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously.RAZORBLADETEARS.Copyright?2021byShawnA.Cosby.Allrightsreserved.Forinformation,addressFlatironBooks,120Broadway,NewYork,NY10271.www.flatironbooks.comCoverdesignbyGreggKulickCoverphotograph?RwiSuSinghKanong/EyeEm/GettyImagesTheLibraryofCongresshascatalogedtheprinteditionasfollows:Names:Cosby,S.A.,author.Title:Razorbladetears/S.A.Cosby.Description:Firstedition.|NewYork,NY:FlatironBooks,2021.|Identifiers:LCCN2021004762|ISBN9781250252708(hardcover)|ISBN9781250252722(ebook)Subjects:GSAFD:Suspensefiction.Classification:LCCPS3603.O7988R392021|DDC813/.6—dc23LCrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2021004762eISBN9781250252722Ourebooksmaybepurchasedinbulkforpromotional,educational,orbusinessuse.PleasecontacttheMacmillanCorporateandPremiumSalesDepartmentat1-800-221-7945,extension5442,orbyemailatMacmillanSpecialMarkets@macmillan.comFirstEdition:2021CONTENTS
TitlePage
CopyrightNotice
Dedication
Epigraph
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven
ChapterTwelve
ChapterThirteen
ChapterFourteen
ChapterFifteen
ChapterSixteen
ChapterSeventeen
ChapterEighteen
ChapterNineteen
ChapterTwenty
ChapterTwenty-One
ChapterTwenty-Two
ChapterTwenty-Three
ChapterTwenty-Four
ChapterTwenty-Five
ChapterTwenty-Six
ChapterTwenty-Seven
ChapterTwenty-Eight
ChapterTwenty-Nine
ChapterThirty
ChapterThirty-One
ChapterThirty-Two
ChapterThirty-Three
ChapterThirty-Four
ChapterThirty-Five
ChapterThirty-Six
ChapterThirty-Seven
ChapterThirty-Eight
ChapterThirty-Nine
ChapterForty
ChapterForty-One
ChapterForty-Two
ChapterForty-Three
ChapterForty-Four
ChapterForty-Five
Acknowledgments
AlsobyS.A.Cosby
AbouttheAuthor
Copyright
TableofContents
TitlePage
CopyrightNotice
Dedication
Epigraph
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven
ChapterTwelve
ChapterThirteen
ChapterFourteen
ChapterFifteen
ChapterSixteen
ChapterSeventeen
ChapterEighteen
ChapterNineteen
ChapterTwenty
ChapterTwenty-One
ChapterTwenty-Two
ChapterTwenty-Three
ChapterTwenty-Four
ChapterTwenty-Five
ChapterTwenty-Six
ChapterTwenty-Seven
ChapterTwenty-Eight
ChapterTwenty-Nine
ChapterThirty
ChapterThirty-One
ChapterThirty-Two
ChapterThirty-Three
ChapterThirty-Four
ChapterThirty-Five
ChapterThirty-Six
ChapterThirty-Seven
ChapterThirty-Eight
ChapterThirty-Nine
ChapterForty
ChapterForty-One
ChapterForty-Two
ChapterForty-Three
ChapterForty-Four
ChapterForty-Five
Acknowledgments
AlsobyS.A.Cosby
AbouttheAuthor
Copyright
© Copyright Notice
The copyright of the article belongs to the author. Please do not reprint without permission.
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