THATKINDOFGUYSTEPHANIEARCHERThisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentsareproductsoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiouslyandarenottobeconstruedasreal.Anyresemblancetoactualevents,locales,organizations,orpersons,livingordead,isentirelycoincidental.
ThatKindofGuy.Copyright?2021byStephanieArcher.Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedinanyformorbyanyelectronicormechanicalmeans,includinginformationstorageandretrievalsystems,withoutwrittenpermissionfromtheauthor,exceptfortheuseofbriefquotationsinabookreview.
CoverdesignbyOutlinedWithLoveDesigns.
ISBN978-1-7779780-0-6ForTimContents
1.Avery
2.Emmett
3.Avery
4.Emmett
5.Avery
6.Emmett
7.Avery
8.Emmett
9.Avery
10.Emmett
11.Emmett
12.Avery
13.Avery
14.Avery
15.Emmett
16.Avery
17.Avery
18.Avery
19.Emmett
20.Emmett
21.Avery
22.Avery
23.Avery
24.Avery
25.Emmett
26.Avery
27.Avery
28.Avery
29.Emmett
Epilogue
WantabonusspicyscenewithEmmettandAvery?
Acknowledgments
AbouttheAuthor
AlsobyStephanieArcher1Avery
“Avery,TableFourdoesn’tliketheirentrées,andtheywanttospeaktothemanager.”
Ilookedupfromthedeskofmytinyoffice.Therestaurant’sbartender,Max,leanedagainstthedoorframeintheblackjeansandblackt-shirtthattheservingstaffalwayswore.
“Issomethingwrongwiththefood?”Iasked.Wedidn’toftengetcomplaints.Ourchefwasincredible.Thekitchenstaffwasagreatteam.Theentirestaffwastoptier,fromserverstohoststodishwashers.Ihadhiredmostofthem.
Maxshookhishead.
Ileanedbackinmychair.“Tourists?”
Henodded.
Istood.“It’sokay,I’vegotit.”
“Areyougoingtocomptheirmeals?”Hesteppedbackandfollowedmefrommyofficetotherestaurant.
Ismiledathimovermyshoulder.“Suream.”
“Why?”
Justbeforeweturnedthecornerintotherestaurant,Istopped.IhadhiredMaxlastsummerasaserverandnoticedourbartenderteachinghimhowtomakedifferentdrinksaftertherestaurantclosed.Hewasinhisearlytwenties,hadlotsofenergy,andwaseagertolearn,soIaskedthebartendertospendafewminutestraininghimeveryshiftuntilMaxwasabletoworkfullshiftsbehindthebar.I’dneveradmitthistotherestofthestaffbutMaxwasmyfavorite.Hewasgreatwithcustomers,everyonelikedworkingwithhim,andhehadagenuineinterestinlearningtherestaurantbusiness.Tonight,hewassteppingintohelpwithafewtables.
“Max,ourpurposeistodeliveradelightfulexperiencetoeverycustomerwhowalksthroughthatdoor.Thisiswherepeoplecomeforabreak,tocelebrate,tocatchupwitholdfriendsortotryanewdish.”Inthehallwaybeforethediningroom,Icouldalreadyhearthewarmambienthumofthefullrestaurant,filledwithpeopleeatingandtalkingandlaughing.
Thatsound?Itmademyhearthappy.ItmademefeellikeIwasdoingsomethinggoodfortheworld.
“WewanteverysinglepersonwhowalksthroughthatdoortohavethebestdamnmealwhiletheyvisitQueen’sCove,andifIloseahundredbuckstocomptheirmeals,”Ishrugged,“that’sokaywithme.It’snotworthittopissoffthecustomers.”
Itwasn’tmyhundredbuckstolose,sinceitwasn’tmyrestaurant.Iwasjustthemanager.Oneday,though.
Heraisedaneyebrow,andIgrinnedathisskepticism.
“Maybethey’reentitled,”Itoldhim.“Ormaybethey’rejusthavingabadday.Maybetheygotaflattireonthewayintotown,theygottotheirhotellate,andthey’restarving.”Igavehimmymostconvincingsmile.“Maybewecanturntheirdayaround.We’regoingtokillthemwithkindness.”Inarrowedmyeyesathim.“We’regoingtoabsolutelyburythemwithoursparklingpersonalities.”
“Thisismorbid.Youalwaystakethisanalogytoofar.”
“Oncetheyseehowpassionateweare?”Iputmyfisttomychestinmock-agony.“They’regoingtoberolledoutthedoorinbodybags.”
Hepointedatme.“Yep,thereitis.Alright,you’retheboss.Thanksforhandlingit.”
“Anytime.I’vegotyourback.”Iwalkedoutintotherestaurant,takinginthepackedhouse.
Itwasjustaftereightatnight,andeverytablewasfull.TherestaurantoverlookedtheharborofQueen’sCove.Onaclearnight,thesunsetwouldwashbrilliantpinksandorangesandyellowssplashedacrossthesky,buttonight,cloudsrolledinandrainbegantotrickledown.Ithadbeensunnyallday,butonceinawhile,thesesummerstormsrolledin.Ichewedmylip,glancingaroundatthebusyrestaurant.Hopefullyitwasjustalittleraintonight,andnowind.
“Hi,I’mAveryAdams,themanagerofTheArbutus,”Iintroducedmyselftotheunhappy-lookingfamilyoffour.Thetwoboysweresulkingandfidgeting,onewastryingtopulltheothers’hair,andtheyworetheexpressionsofkidswhohadjustbeentoldoff.“Letmegrabtheseplatesoutofyourway.”Ipassedtheplatestoapassingserverbeforeplacingthecoloringpagesandcrayonsonthetableinfrontoftheboys.Theyimmediatelystoppedfightingwitheachotherandturnedtothepages.
Theparentswereintheirlatethirties,andjustasIhadsuspected,theylookedexhaustedandirritated.Bothoftheirjawsweresetliketheyexpectedafight.
“Iamsosorrythatyourmealswerenotasyouexpected.Wow,”Isaid,mygazecatchingonthewoman’sbrightredshoulder.“Thatsunburnlookslikeithurts.CanIbringyousomealoeforthat?”
Sheblinked,andherirritationliftedafraction.“Um,sure.”Shehesitated.“Westoppedbythegeneralstore,buttheywereclosed.”Shegesturedoutsidewheretherainwascomingdownharder,andagrumpylookcameoverherface.“Andnowit’srainingonourholiday.”
“Theyclosedearlytonightbecauseit’stheowners’weddinganniversary.I’llgogetyousomealoe,butinthemeantime,arethereanyotherentréesthatlookinterestingtoyou?They’llbecompedthisevening,fortheinconvenience,”Isaidwithasweetsmile.
Thehusbandlookedconfusedandthenlookedathismenu.“Wewerewishingweorderedthepizzas.TheMargheritaandthemeatballpizzas.”
Inodded.“Absolutely,greatchoices.CanIgetyouacoupledrinks?Theblackberryginsmashisonspecialtonight.TheginismadeatalocaldistilleryhereinQueen’sCove,andtheblackberriesarelocalandorganic.”
Thewifenodded,watchinghersonsacrossthetable,busywithcoloring,andmoreimportantly,quiet.“Thatwouldbewonderful.”
“Surething.Let’smakeyourvacationagoodone,shallwe?”Iscribbledtheirorderonapaper,handedittothekitchenandbar,andslippedbacktomyofficetograboneofthetravelbottlesofaloesittingintheminifridge.Maxhadlaughedatmewhenhesawthis,buthestoppedlaughingwhenhesawtimeandtimeagainhowastupidlittlebottleofaloecouldturnhistablearound.
“DropthisatTableFour,wouldyou,”Isaidtohimashepassed.“Andcomptheirfoodanddrinks.”
Hegavemeathumbsupandkeptwalking.
“Thanks,Max,”Icalledafterhim.
Iwatchedfromtheedgeoftherestaurantashedroppedthebottleofaloeoffatthetable.Thewomanlookedsorelieved,andIfeltlikepunchingtheair.Ilovedflippingcustomerslikethat.Walkinguptothattable,theyweretiredandgrouchy,butnowthecouplewerelaughingandtalking,theirkidswereimmersedincoloring,andtheirvacationwasofftoagreatstart.Ihadcompletelyturnedtheirnightaround.Ilovedmyjob.
Iscannedtherestaurant.Tonightwasamixoflocalsandtourists.TheownersofthegeneralstorewerehavingtheiranniversarydinneratTableTwo.TheelementaryschoolprincipalandherhusbandwereatTableSix.Themayor,hiswife,andtheirtwochildrenwereatTableEight.Theirfamilywasalwayspolite,friendly,andperfectlywell-behaved.Thekidsneverwantedtocolor,theyjustsatquietlyandsmiledateveryonelikelittleangels,anditcreepedmeout.TheownerofalocalconstructioncompanysatatTableElevenwithoneofhisclients.Isnortedtomyself,watchingEmmettRhodesschmoozeandsmileandoozecharmalloverthetable.EmmettwasMr.Popular,kneweveryoneintown,wasallupineveryone’sbusiness,andwaswellawareofexactlyhowhandsomehewas.
AtTableTwelvewastheownerofacouplelocalrestaurants,Chuck,andhiswife.Hiswifewassneeringatthefood,andChuckwaslookingaroundbeforemakingnotesinanotebook.Irolledmyeyes.IhadafewtipsIcouldgivehim,buthewouldn’tlisten.
TherestaurantsChuckownedcateredtotouristsbecausethelocalsknewbetterthantogothere.Thefoodwasn’texactlybad,itjusthadthattastelikeitwasmadeafewdaysago,frozen,thawed,andreheated.Eventhatwasn’tenoughtoearnmydisdain,though.Itwasthewayhetreatedhisstaff.Themalestaffworeblackt-shirtsandjeans,justlikehereatTheArbutus,butthefemalestaffwererequiredtowearmini-skirts,lowcuttops,andhighheels.Heels,foreight-hourservingshifts.Thethoughtmademybloodboil.Hehiredkidsstraightoutofschoolwhodidn’tknowanybetterorwhohadnootheroptions,sotheyputupwithit.Therewererumorsthathetookacutoftheirtips,too.
“TableTwelvegivingyouanytroubletonight?”IaskedMaxasheshookadrinksshaker.
“Nope.They’vebeenontheirbestbehavior.”
“Good.”IwatchedasChuckstudiedthechandelier.Whatwasheupto?
IhadbeenthemanagerofTheArbutusfortwoyears,butIhadbeenworkinghereforfiveyears,sincethedayIsetfootinthetinyseasidetownofQueen’sCove.LocatedonVancouverIsland,Canada,wedgedbetweenthePacificOceanandthePacificNorthwestrainforest,thislittletownhousedabouttwothousandresidents,butbecauseofitsbreathtakingbeaches,dense,mossyforests,relaxedsmall-townvibes,andthebestsurfinginthecountry,itwelcomedoveramilliontouristsduringthesummermonths.ItwasearlyMay,andthetouristswerestartingtotricklein.ByJuly,we’dbeinfullswing.
IwasbornandraisedinVancouver,butQueen’sCovewasmyhomenow.Fiveyearsago,Icamehereonvacationbymyself,andaftergoingforanicedinnerattherestaurantwiththebestview,Ifellinlove.Giantwindowsthatoverlookedthepicturesquecoveandbeach,oakflooring,andvaultedceilingswithoriginalbeams.Amenuthatwasmodern,unpretentious,anddelicious,withlocalingredients.Anatmosphereofwarmth,community,andcomfort.Imentionedthevaultedceilings,right?Bestill,myheart.Ifellheadoverheels.Theowner,Keiko,noticedhowenthralledIwas,andwegottotalking,andthenextthingIknew,sheofferedmeaservingjob.
Iwasn’tanimpulsiveperson.Ididn’tmakebigchangeswithoutcarefulconsiderationandweighingalltheprosandcons,butsomehow,thisonefeltright,soIheadedbacktoVancouver,packedmystuff,andreturnedtoQueen’sCove.
Iworkedhardattherestaurant.Ihadputeverythingintothisjob,evenwhenIwasjustaserver.Therewassomethingaboutthisrestaurantthatfeltlikehometome.MaybeitwasbecauseKeiko’sparentsopeneditwhentheymovedtoCanadawhenshewasakid.Thisplacehadhistory.Maybeitwasthatmyownparents’restaurantfailedcatastrophically,andthiswasthesuccessfulrestaurantIalwayswantedtobeapartof.MaybeitwasthatIlovedtheatmosphere,thatIlovedmakingcustomershappyandcontributingtoourcommunity.
Keiko’sparentsopenedtherestaurantintheseventies.Theypouredeverythingintothisplace,shehadtoldme.Shegrewuphere,justlikeIgrewupinarestaurant,exceptherparents’storywasasuccess.TheypassedafewyearsbeforeImovedtotown,andInevergottomeetthem,butlocalswhoknewthemwouldtellmestoriesofthemstillworkingintherestaurant,greetingcustomers,andbalancingthetillandsweepingthefloorsevenintotheirnineties.TheArbutuswastheresultoftwogenerationsofhardwork.Theyhadputeverythingintothisplace.
Oneday,itwouldbemine.IhadbeensavingeverysparedollarforyearssothatIcouldbuythisplace.Growingup,IalwaysknewI’downarestaurant.Ifellinlovewiththebusybustleofstaff,thelaughter,andthemouth-wateringfoodsmells.Peoplecametoarestauranttocelebrate,tocatchupwitholdfriends,andtofallinlove,andIgottoseeitall.Myparents’restaurantwentunder,asdidtheirmarriage,butTheArbutuswasmyshot.TherewasnowayinhellI’dscrewitupthewaytheydid.
WhenKeikowasreadytosell,I’dbuythisrestaurant.Ididn’twanttojustbethemanager,Iwantedtobetheowner.Iwantedsomethingthatwasallmine,somethingIcouldmakethefinaldecisionson,somethingIcouldbefullyresponsiblefor.Iwantedtocarryonherfamily’slegacy,andtobuildmyown.Somethingtangiblethatsaid,AveryAdamswashereonthisearth.Keikowasakindandsupportiveboss—shetaughtmeeverythingsheknew,andshetrustedme,butitwasn’tthesameasowningtheplacemyself.Untilthen,I’dcontinueputtingeverysparedollarintosavings.
Outsidethefrontdoorwastherestaurant’snamesake,atwisting,red-trunkedarbutustree.Arbutustreeswerenativetothewestcoast,andonmywalksaroundtown,maybetograbacoffeeormeetmyfriendHannahatherbookstore,Ioftenpassedtouristsposingforpicturesinfrontofthisone.Italwaysmademesmile.Arbutustreesweren’ttheonlythingthatmadeQueen’sCoveunique.Itwasintheairhere,airthatflowedstraightofftheoceanandthroughourlittletown.Itwasthewayeveryonetookcareofeachother,howtheintegrityofthetownwasfiercelyguardedbytheresidents.Nochainsorfranchiseswereallowed,onlybusinessesrunbylocals.Wasthetownperfect?Hell,no.Therewerepotholesintheroads,someofthesidewalkswerecrumbling,andwindstormsoftenknockedoverthetoweringfirtrees,causingpoweroutages.Therewasoneroadinandoutoftown,soanyrockfallsoraccidentsonthehighwayhadyoustuck.Iffogrolledintotheharbourandthefloatplanescouldn’ttakeoff?Youwerestranded.
“Gettingwindyoutthere,”Maxmutteredtomeashemovedaroundbehindthebar,mixingdrinks.
Ileanedagainstthebarandwatchedoutsideasthewavescrashedagainsttheshore.Comeon,weather,Ipleadedinmyhead.Holdupforacouplemorehours,justuntilweclose.“CanIgrabyouanything?”Iaskedhim,movingaroundbehindthelongwoodenbar.
Heglancedatthetraysbehindthecounter.“Lemons,please.”
“Yougotit.”
Halfwaydownthehalltothestoreroom,thelightsstartedflickering.Istoppedwalkingandsighed.Thelightsgaveanotherhalfheartedflickerbeforegoingout.Someoneintherestaurantscreamed,andIheadedbacktothemaindiningarea.
“Alright,everyone,”Isaidinacalm,assuringvoice.Maxwasbusylightingtealightsatthebarandplacingthemintolanterns,andtheservershustledthemtothetables.“Thewindprobablyknockedatreeover,andthepowerisout.Pleasestayseatedwhilewelightsomecandlesand,inthemeantime,enjoytheambiance.”
IturnedandbumpedstraightintothehardchestofMr.Popularhimself,EmmettRhodes.
“Hi,Adams.”Hecockedagrindownatme.
Irritationprickledatthebackofmyneck,andIpulledanotherlighterfrombeneaththebar.“I’mbusy,”Itoldhimwithoutlookingathim,focusedonlightingcandlesbesideMax.
Outofthecornerofmyeye,Isawhisgrinwiden.“Needsomehelp?I’mgreatinacrisis.”
Irolledmyeyes.Thisguy’segoknewnobounds.Iwassurprisedhegotitthroughthedoortonight.Ilookedupathimwithaprofessionalsmile.“Thisisn’tacrisis,it’sjustapoweroutage.Pleasegobacktoyourtableandenjoyyourmeal.”IwasveryawareofMaxstandingbesideme,placingcandlesintolanterns,listening.
Emmettleanedonthebar.“Whatareyoudoingtonight?”heasked.
Igavealaughofdisbelief.“Again?Seriously?Idon’tcometoyourworkandbotheryouwhileyou’reworking.”
Hegrinnedwider.“Bother?I’mnotbotheringyou.I’mtoogood-lookingtobeabother.”
Deepbreaths,Itoldmyself.“Emmett.”
Heputhishandsup.“Okay,okay.Goingbacktomytable.”
Emmettwalkedaway,andmygazefollowedhistallform.
ThefirstdayImetEmmettRhodes,hehaddumpedagirlrightinfrontofmewithzeroremorse.Hehadcometotherestaurantforaquickmealandsatatthebar.Awomanaboutmyagehadspottedhimandslippedontothestoolbesidehim,leaningtowardhimandlookingathimwithsuchdeepaffectionthatwhenIsawthehesitant,waryexpressiononhisface,myheartached.
“Look,Heather,”hehadtoldher.Ihadmybackturnedtothematthebarandcouldn’thelpbutoverhear.“You’regreat,butI’mjustnotinterestedinthiswholething.Wehadfun,butlet’snotmakeitmorethanitneedstobe.”
Shewasquietforasecond.“What?”
“I’mjustnotthatkindofguy,”hetoldher.“It’sbetterthisway.Idon’tdothewifeandkidsthing.”
Hewasoneofthosepeoplewhoyoucouldhearfromtheothersideoftown,alwaystalking,laughing,sayinghellotoeveryonewithinsight.Schmoozey,thatwasit.WhereasIhadasmallcircleofclosefriends,thisguywasfriendswitheverysinglepersonintown.Hekneweverythingabouteveryone.EverytimeIpassedbyhiminthegrocerystoreoronthestreet,hewasmakingsmalltalkaboutsomebody’sbusinessoraskinghowsomeone’skidwas.Itstruckmeasinsincere,likehehadanagenda
Besideme,Maxclearedhisthroat,alittlesmileonhisface.
“What?”Iaskedhimwithraisedeyebrows.
Hebitbackagrinbutsaidnothingwhileheslidtealightsintothelantern
“Don’tstart,”Iwarned.
“Ididn’tsayanything.”Helitanothercandle.“Butyousureliketosparwithhim.”
Mymouthfellopen.“Hestartedit.Healwaysstartsit.”
Maxgavemeaknowinglook.“Mhm.”
DisgustrippledthroughmeatthenotionofbeingromanticallyinterestedinEmmett.IhadseenthewayEmmettwaswithwomen—flirty,friendly,charming,andfunny.Heknewexactlywhathewasdoing.Andmultipletimesatmyrestaurant,I’dseenhimremindwomenthathewasn’ttheguytheywantedhimtobe.Heropedtheminandspatthemoutwhenhewasdonewiththem.
Mydadwaslikethat.Hewaseveryone’sbestfrienduntilhechangedhismindanddisappeared.Hewasthebrighteststarintheroom,thepersoneveryonewantedtotalkwithandhangoutwith.Whenhewasinagoodmood,hebroughteveryoneupwithhim,laughingandchattingandcomplimentingpeopleandbrighteningtheirday.Whenhewasinabadmood,thecloudspouredoneveryoneinhisproximity,andhedraggedeveryonedownwithhim.
I’dbetmylifesavingsthatEmmettwasexactlylikemydad.
BeforeIcouldrespond,Maxpickeduptwolanternsandstrolledaway.IlaughedtomyselfbeforeglancingbackatEmmett’stable,wherehewasdeepinconversationwithhisclient.Heglancedup,andwemadeeyecontactbeforehewinked
Irolledmyeyesagainbeforeturningbacktothelanterns.
Ididn’tknowEmmettRhodesinhighschool,butIhadheardallabouthim.Heartbreaker,ladies’man,Casanova—justafewofthenamespeoplehadusedtodescribehistimethere.Ibelievedit.Theguywassix-four,leanbutmuscular,olive-tonedskin,darkhairthathekeptshortandstylish,andasharpjawline.Hiseyeswereapalegrey,likealltheRhodesmen.Theguycouldhavemodeledforcologneadsifhewantedto.Hemadewhateverhewaswearinglookdesigner.Tonight,heworeslimblackjeans,brownleatherboots,andawhitet-shirt,buthelookedlikehesteppedoutoftheRedwingbootscatalog.Hewasawalkingadvertisementforclothes,hemadethemlooksogood.
NotthatIwasinterested.Yes,theguylookedlikeHenryCavill,butIwasn’tinthemarketforsomeonewhoIcouldbarelygetwithintenfeetofwithoutrollingmyeyes.
EmmettRhodeswaswhathappenedwhenamangrewuptooattractive.Hethoughthehadtheworldathisfingertips.IhadspentthelastfiveyearsavoidingEmmettRhodes.
Helikedtoplaythislittlegamewherehe’daskmeoutandIalwayssaidno.Hehadbeendoingthisforyears.Hedidn’tactuallylikeme,hewasthatkindofguywholovedthechase.HeonlymessedwithmebecauseIwastheonlypersonintownimmunetohim.
OneofthecandleflamessingedmyfingersasIplaceditintothelanternandIsworeundermybreath.NomorethinkingaboutMr.Popular.Ihadajobtodo
Withinafewminutes,theplacewasilluminatedinsoftcandlelight.
“Weneedagenerator,”Maxtoldme.
“Findmethemoney,”Irespondedpointedly.“We’remakingdowithwhatwehave.”Itiltedmychintohim.“I’lltakecareofthebar,youknowwhattodo.”
Hegrinnedandslippedoutfrombehindthebar,tossingmehisapron.Iglancedoverthelistofreceiptsfromtheserversandbeganmakingawhiskeysour.Serversdroppedoffmoredrinkreceiptsanddeliveredthelastofthedishesfromthekitchentotheirrespectivetables.Inthecorneroftherestaurant,Maxtookaseatandbalancedhisguitaronhisknee.Hebeganplaying,anddinerswatchedandlistenedwithlittlesmilesontheirfaces.Ipulledoutmyphone,tookasneakypicofhimplaying,andpostedittooursocialmedia.
“Thepower’soutbutnothingwillstopusfromhavingagreatnightatTheArbutus.”Itypedoutthecaptionandhitpostbeforeslippingmyphonebackintomypocketandgettingtoworkonthedrinks.
Inthesummer,thepowerwentoutmaybeonceamonth,butinthewinter,outagesoccurredatleastonceaweek.Wecouldn’tcloseupshopeverytimewelostpowerorwe’dbeinthered,sooverthelastcoupleyears,Ifiguredoutwaystostayopen.Nomusic?Maxwasamusician,andadamngoodone.Nolighting?Candlelightintherestaurantandpropanelanternsinthekitchens.Thankfully,ourkitchenhadgasstovessowecouldstillfinishthelastofdinnerservice.Becausewedidn’tknowhowlongtheoutageswouldlastanddidn’twantaweek’sworthoffoodgoingbad,wekeptourfridgeandfreezerstockslow.TheArbutuswasallaboutfresh,localfoodanyways,sothiswasn’tanissue.
Wemadeitwork.Whateverhappened,wealwaysmadeitwork.
Hourslater,afterthelastcustomerhadleft,theserverscounteduptheirtips,Maxpackeduphisguitar,andIflippedchairsontothetablesasthestaffleft.Candlesstillilluminatedthespaceintheirlanterns,andImovedaroundtheemptyrestaurant,tidyingandsweepingandclosingup.Somepeoplewouldn’twanttobeherealonesolate,butIwouldn’tbeanywhereelse.Lateatnight,wheneverythingwasquietandstill,thiswaswhenIfeltmostathome.Thecharmingplacereallyfeltlikemineduringthesemoments.
Oneday,whenIhadenoughmoneyandKeikowasreadytosell,TheArbutuswouldbemyrestaurant.Mylegacy.Thesuccessstorymymomneverhad.
Alightknockonthedoorshookmeoutofmythoughts.Itwasaftermidnight,andwewereclearlyclosed,butmaybesomeonehadforgottentheirphoneorwalletunderatable.
Keiko’ssmilingfacepeeredthroughtheglassdoor.Shewaswearingherbrightyellowraincoatandgavemeacheerywave.
“Hi,whatareyoudoingheresolate?”Iaskedandopenedthedoor.“Youhaveakey,youdon’tneedtoknock.”
Shefollowedmeinandlockedthedoorbehindher.“Ididn’twanttostartleyou.Iknewyou’dbeherestill.”
“Wantsomethingtodrink?Icanputthekettleon.”
“Thatwouldbenice.”Shethrewmeasoftsmileasshepulledabarstooldown.
Inthekitchen,Ifilledthekettleandputitonthestoveinthedimlightfromthelanterns.Keikodidn’toftenpaymevisits,butIsavoredthemomentsIhadwithher,justthetwoofus.Previousbossesdidn’thavethetimeorinteresttoteachmetheindustry,butKeikohadtakenmeunderherwingandtaughtmeeverythingsheknew.WhenItookoverasmanagerandshesawIhadthingsundercontrol,shebegantostepbackfromthebusiness.Herdaughterhadjusthadababy,soKeikospentseveralweeksatatimeinVancouver,visitingher.Istillsenthermonthlyreportsoftherestaurant’sfinancials,althoughIdoubtedshelookedatthemanymore.
Ireturnedwithourmugsoftea.“So,whatbringsyoutoourbeautifulestablishmenttonight?”
“Thankyou,”shesaid,acceptingthemugandblowingthewaftingsteamoffit.“Iwanttochatwithyouaboutsomething.”
“Iseverythingokay?”Ifrownedandslidontothestoolbesideher.“Areyouokay?”
Shenodded.“Don’tworry,everythingisfine,nooneisdead,andI’mhealthyasateenager.”
“It’sallthatyogayoudo.”
“Everyday.I’mthinkingaboutdoingmyteachertraining.”
“Oh,really?You’regoingtobeayogateacher?”Iasked,abigsmilespreadingacrossmyface.Keikowouldbeaperfectyogateacher,withhercalm,groundingpresence.
Sheshookherhead.“No,it’sjustfuntokeepbusyandkeeplearning.Somethingnew.”Shetookabreathandpattedmyhand.“Speakingofsomethingnew.”
Myeyebrowsshotup.“Mhm?”
Shelookedlikeshedidn’tknowwhichwordstouse.“Ithinkit’stimeformetomovetoVancouvertobewithLaylaandthebaby.”
Iblinked,takingamomenttodigestthis.“Moving.Wow.”Queen’sCovewasathree-hourdrivetoVictoria,thebiggestcityonVancouverIsland,andthenanotherthreehourstoLayla’splaceviaferryandhighway.“Iguessthatmakessense.I’msureit’sapain,goingbackandforthontheferryallthetime.”Isaggedabit,bummedthatIwouldbeseeingevenlessofKeiko.“We’regoingtomissyouaroundhere.AreyougoingtomoveintoLayla’splace?”
Shetookasipofteaandshookherhead.“No,actually,atownhouseinhercomplexjustwentupforsale,andIwouldliketobuyit.”
“Wow,that’slucky,”Itoldher.“Layla’splaceisprettysmall,right?”
Shenodded.“Two-bedroom.Toosmallformetomoveinto.”Shegavemeanothersoftsmileandpressedherlipstogether,watchingme.SomethinginKeiko’sexpressiontoldmeshewasn’tfinished.
“Ifeellikethere’smore.”
“Well,”shesaidandtookadeepbreath.“Avery,IknowthatyouloveTheArbutus,andIknowit’sasspecialtoyouasitistome.”
“Absolutely.”Zerohesitation.
“ThetownhouseinLayla’scomplexismorethanmyhomeherebyalot.Vancouverrealestateisquiteexpensive.”
Ihadheardaboutthis.EvenVancouverIslandpriceswererising,andresidentswerefrustratedthattheiradultchildrenwerestrugglingtobuyahome.Iknewabouttheissuebutwasn’tconcernedbyit,becauseIhadnointentionofbuyingahomeanytimesoon.MysolefocuswassavingtobuyTheArbutusoneday.
“Areyougoingtosellyourhomehere?”Iaskedher.
Shenoddedandlookedalittlebitsadbutresolved.“I’mlistingittomorrow.It’llbehardtoleavetheplaceI’velivedinforthirtyyears,butit’stime.”Shesmiledagainatmeandnodded.“AndI’llbesellingtherestaurantaswell.”
Mypulsestopped.Iblinked.“Selling…therestaurant?”
Shenodded,watchingme.“That’stheplan.Myfinancialadvisorthinksit’sbetterifIsellbothtopayforthetownhome.”Shenoddedagaintoherself.“AndI’mready.It’stimeforthenextphaseoflife,beingagrandmother.”Shesmiled.
“Ihavetoask—whoareyousellingitto?”
“You,ifyou’reinterested.”Therewasasparkleinhereye.
Mymouthgapedopen.“OfcourseI’minterested!”
Shelaughed.Wehadneverspokenaboutmebuyingtheplace,buttherealwaysseemedtobeanunspokenunderstandingaboutit.
“Iwashopingyou’dsaythat,”shesaid,takinganothersipofteaandsmilingatmeoverhermug.“IwasdisappointedwhenmyLayladidn’twantanythingtodowiththeplace,butyouwaltzedin,andmyprayerswereanswered.”
Myeyesstung,andIsmiledather.IhadworkedintherestaurantindustryforfiveyearsbeforemovinghereandneverhadIfoundamentorlikeKeiko,someonewhowaskindtotheirstaff,someonewhotaughtmeeverythingabouthowtorunarestaurant.TohearhertellmethatshewantedmetobuyTheArbutusmademeevenmoreresolvedtomakeherproud.
Athoughtstruckme.DidIhaveenoughsavingsforaloan?IthoughtIhadmoretime.IthoughtKeikowouldretireinfive,maybetenyears.Thiswasasurprise,butIcouldhandleit.Ihadhandledsurprisesbefore,andIhadeverythingundercontrol.Iwasgoingtobuytherestaurant.
“IhopeyouknowthatIlovethisrestaurant,andIwilldoeverythinginmypowertoensureitisasuccess,”Ivowed,leaningin.“I’llgotothebanktomorrow.I’lltalktothemaboutabusinessloan.”
“Wonderful,”shesangwithabrightsmile.“Absolutelywonderful.”
Later,afterwehadfinishedourteaandIhadsaidgoodbyetoKeiko,mygazelingeredonaframedphotoinmyofficeofmeandmymom,takenabouttwentyyearsago.Mythumbbrushedtheframe,andIstudiedheryoung,smilingface,fullofhopeandoptimism.Thisphotowastakenbymydadonopeningdayofherrestaurant,beforeeverythingwentdownhill.
Thatwouldn’thappentome.I’dmakesureofit.Noonewasgoingtograbthewheelfromme.I’dlearnedmylesson,watchingmyparents.
Isetthepicturebackdownonmydesk,lockedup,andheadedhometomytiny,crappyapartment.Therainandwindhadstopped,andtheairsmelledsaturatedandearthy.Ilivedintheloftapartmentofahouseafewblocksfromtherestaurant.ThelandlordhadsubdividedahouseintofivedifferentunitsandoftenrentedtopeoplewhocametoworkinQueen’sCoveforthetouristseason.Iopenedthedoorofmyplaceandflickedthelightson.Itwasnearlyoneinthemorning,andIcouldhearmusicfromthedownstairsneighboursthroughthefloor.Thissummer’stenantslikedtoparty.
“Hello,shithole,”ImurmuredasItossedmybagandkeysonthecounterofthepokeylittlekitchen.IhadlivedinthisapartmentmyentiretimeinQueen’sCove,andbecauseofthecheaprent,hadnointentionofmoving.IgotwhatIpaidfor,though.Therewerewaterstainsontheceiling,thecarpetwaswornandthin,andIcouldpracticallyhearmydownstairsneighboursbreathing.I’msuretheycouldheareverycoughandsneezefromme,aswell.
MystomachrumbledandIrealizedIleftmydinneronthecounterofthebar,backattherestaurant.Ipulledmyphoneoutandorderedapizza.
AftermystomachwasfullandIhadshowered,Icrawledintobed.Keiko’swordsreplayedinmyhead,andIwiggledmytoeswithexcitement.Igrinnedtomyselfinthedark.Finally,afteralltheseyearsofhardwork,Iwasgoingtobuytherestaurant.Thiswasmyshot,andIwasn’tgoingtoletanythinggetintheway.2Emmett
TheconstructionsitewasbustlingwhenIarrived.Acoupleweeksago,thecrewshadbeenpouringtheconcretefoundation,butnowthestructurewasup,andmenandwomeninhardhatsandsteel-toedbootsmovedthroughthedoorwayswithtoolsanddrawingsinhand.Inthreemonths,thissitewouldopenasthenewQueen’sCovecommunitycenter.
“Hey,Emmett,”Sandra,oneofourcivilengineers,saidasshepassed.“Holden’sintheatrium.”
“Thanks,Sandra.Howaboutthatgamelastnight?”Igrinnedather,knowingshewasdevastatedafterherbelovedhockeyteam,theTorontoMapleLeafs,losttotheVancouverCanucksinovertime.
“Idon’twanttotalkaboutit,”shereplied,makingamocksadface.
Ilaughedandwavedgoodbyebeforeheadinginside.AsIpassedthroughthesite,Imadenoteofthejobprogress.IspottedHoldenandwavedtogethisattentionbeforegesturingforhimtofollowmeoutsidewhereitwasquieter.
MybrotherHoldenrantheconstructionside,andIwasthebusinessguy.Whereashewasonconstructionsites,managingthecrewsandworkingwithcontractors,Iwasintheoffice,takingcareofthefinancials.Occasionally,ourtaskswouldoverlap,likewhenweneededtoquoteabigjob,orwhenwemetwithpotentialclients.Holdenwasn’texactlyapersonablekindofguy.OutofthefourRhodesboys,hewasthegrouchiest.WyattandFinnwerealmostaspersonableatme.Almost.Iwasthecharmingone.Ialwayshadbeen.Ilikedpeople,likedtalkingtothemandfixingproblemsandmakingpeoplehappy.WyattownedasurfshopandwastrainingtogoproasasurferandFinnwasafirefighter,oftenspendingsummersaroundtheprovincefightingwildfires.
HoldenandIhadmadeanameforourselvesinthistownwithRhodesConstruction.PeoplewereskepticalwhenIreturnedfromuniversitywithanMBAandadegreeinenvironmentalscienceandconvincedHoldentostartacompanywithme.Twobrothers,twenty-threeandtwenty-two,startaconstructioncompanywithnoclients?Goodluck.ButHoldenhadworkedinconstructionforfouryearsandsawhowdisorganizedandlow-qualityourcompetitorswere.Isawhowclimatechangewasaffectingourplanetandknewwehadanopportunitytooffercustomerssolutionsthatwouldsavethemenergyandmoney.RhodesConstructionwasborn,andwehaven’tlookedbacksince.Thefirstyearsweren’teasy,butweturnedthoseskepticsaround.
Hehadsentmeatextthismorningwithtwowords:Callme.Mybrotherwasamanoffewwords,soIwasn’tconcerned,andthejobsitewasonmywaytoourofficesostoppingbywasconvenient.Also,Ilikedtowalkourjobsites,sayhellotothecrews,andshowmyface.Ourbusinesshadgrownfromthetwoofus,butIdidn’twanttobeoneofthoseguyswhohidintheofficewhileeveryonedidtheworkforthem.Thatwasn’tleadership.Leadershipwasshowingyourface,knowingyouremployees,andknowingtheinsandoutsofyourbusiness.
“Everythingokay?”Iaskedaswepulledtheearplugsoutofourears.
Heshrugged.“SparkProdidn’tshowupthismorning,andtheyaren’tansweringcalls.”SparkProwasanelectricalcontractorweusedwhenourelectriciansweretiedupwithotherprojects.
Ifrowned.“Calconfirmedthecrewwouldbeheretoday.”IslippedmyphoneoutofmypocketandscannedthroughemailsuntilIfoundtheoneIwaslookingfor.“Tuesdaymorning,sevenonthedot.Sixelectricians.”
Holdenputhishandsupandshrugged,asiftosayIdon’tknowwhattotellyou.“Ineedtostartwiringtodayorthecrewwillneedtoworkovertimetostayonschedule.”
“I’llcallthem.”Thishadhappenedbefore.Ihadanideaofwhatwasgoingonbutdidn’twanttosayanythinguntilIcalledCal.
“Iftheydon’tshowup,Ineedtocallsomeoneelse.”
“Don’tcallsomeoneelse.I’llcallthemrightnowandfixit.”
IscrolledthroughmycontactsuntilIfoundCal.
“SparkPro,”theolderguyrasped.Hehadbeenalongtimesmoker,andhisvoicewaslikephlegmygravel.
“Cal,it’sEmmett.”
Hegruntedhishello.Calwasn’tasmalltalkguy,soIcutstraighttoit.
“Weexpectedyourelectriciansthismorningatseven,”Isaidinaconcernedtone.“Didsomethinghappen?OrmaybeImissedanemailfromyou.”
Inmyyearsofworkingwithhundredsofclients,crews,andpersonalities,Ihadlearnedonething:assumeinnocence.IhadasneakingsuspicionthatanotherclienthadthrownmoneyatCaltogettheelectricianstotheirsite,andCalhadconvenientlyforgottentotellme.Butelectricianswerescarceinoursmalltown,andweneededCal’speopletohelpkeepourjobontrack.
“Theygotheldup.”
“Hmm.”Imovedoutofthewayassomeofourcrewmovedbeamsintothecommunitycenter.“Well,thethingis,Cal,weneedtostartwiringtodayorwe’llbedelayed.Wegaveyouourwordthatwe’duseyouasourelectricalcontractor,andIwanttosticktothat.Yourpeopledoqualitywork,andItrustthem.Idon’tknowtheothercontractors,andIdon’tliketousepeopleIdon’tknow.”
Iletthatsitforamoment.IwasabouttoaskCalwhatIcoulddotomakethiswork,buthegruntedanotheracknowledgment.
“They’llbetherewithinanhour,”hepromised.
“You’reagoodguy,Cal,”Itoldhim,andwesaidourgoodbyesbeforehangingup.
IfoundHoldenreviewingdrawingswiththearchitects.“SparkProwillbehereinanhour.Callmeiftheyaren’therebynoon.”
Henodded.“Thanks.”
“Noproblem.”Iclappedhimontheshoulder,feelingalittlepinginmychest.Ilovedfixingproblemslikethat.IloveditwhenIcouldsmoothsomethingoverandmakeeveryonehappy.
Holdenturnedtome.“Iforgottoask,everythinggookaywithWillthismorning?”
Mygoodmoodpoppedlikeaballoon,andmymouthpressedintoafirmlineasInodded.“Yep.”
Willwasmybestfriend.WehadgrownuptogetherhereinQueen’sCovenextdoortoeachother.Thismorning,Will,hiswife,andtheirfour-year-olddaughter,Kara,movedtoVictoria,acitythreehoursaway.MychestwrenchedeverytimeIthoughtaboutit.Itwasn’tright.
“DohimandNatneedanyhelpwiththeirplace?”
Ishookmyhead.“I’vegotitcovered.Rentersaremovingintomorrow.”
Henodded,thinking.“Sucks.”
“Yep.Seeyoulater.”
Imademywaybacktotheoffice,walkinginsteadofdrivingsinceitwasonlyafewblocksandIenjoyedseeingthetownthisway.IpushedthoughtsaboutWillandhisfamilyoutofmyheadasInearedthemainstreetandranintoseveralpeopleIknew.Isaidhellotothebookstoreowner,chattedwithateacherfromthehighschool,andstoppedtosayhitoKeiko,theownerofalocalrestaurant.
“Everythingokaywiththepoweroutagelastnight?”Iaskedher.“Ialwaysworrythatwhenthepowercomesbackon,thesurgewilldamagesomethinginthekitchen.Youshouldletmycrewtakelookintheretomakesureeverything’sokay.”
Waybackinthesixties,Queen’sCovewasdesignedforapopulationofmaybefivethousandpeople.Withtheextraloadfromthetouristsonourelectricalgridinthesummer,andthetalltreesfallingontopowerlinesduringbigwinterstorms,thetownseemedtobeenduringmorepoweroutages,moreoften.Andsometimes,foradayatatime.
Keikowavedahand.“Oh,yes.Averyalwayshasithandled.”
Right.AveryAdams.ThecornerofmymouthtuggedupwhenIthoughtabouthowirritatedshewaswhenIaskedifsheneededhelp.
AveryAdamswasacuriousone.Earlythirties,shoulder-lengthauburnhairinacute,choppycut,andbrightblueeyesthecolorofthepenIwrotewith.Greatbody.Gorgeoussmile,althoughshenevershoneitatme,onlycustomersandstaff.Shewascute—supercute—andshecouldn’tstandme,whichonlymademewanttotalktohermore.
Ithinkitwasthatwomendidn’tusuallyfindmeirritating.Theyfoundmefunny,charming,helpful,interesting,handsome…
Butneverirritating.
Iwasn’tsurewhatmyendgamewas,annoyingherlikeIdid.Itwasn’tlikeIwantedarelationship.Iwasn’tthatkindofguy,notlikeWill.Willhadalwaysbeenthatfamilykindofguy,evenwhenwewerekids.Me?Notsomuch.Ihadmybusiness,Ihadmyfriends,andIhadmybrothersandparents.Relationshipsgotcomplicated.
Now,ifAverycoulddoacasualkindofthing,thenwe’dbeinbusiness.
“Emmett?”Keikoasked,andIgottheimpressionIhadspacedoutwhileshewastalking.“HowisKaradoing?”
“Who?”
“Kara.Howisshedoingwiththemove?”
Myheartsunkagain,andIthoughtaboutKaragrowingupinVictoria,awayfromhergrandparentsandallthepeoplethathelpedWillandNatwithraisingher.Queen’sCovewasthevillagethatwascommittedtoraisingKara,justasitwasforeveryonewhohadgrownuphere.
“Sheseemedokay,”ItoldKeiko,thinkingaboutWilldrivingawaythismorningwithNatinthepassengerseatandKarawavingatmefromthebackseat.“Thepoweroutagelastnightjustreinforcedtheirdecisiontogo.”
IrememberedthedayWilltoldmethatKarawassick.Itwasrenalfailure,andthedoctorswereputtingherondialysisuntiltheycouldfindadonor.Thatwasabadnight.IsatwithWillathiskitchentablewhilehefoundsolaceinthebottomofthebottle,arareindulgenceforhim.Itwasn’tfair,buttherewasn’tasinglethingwecoulddo.
Ithoughttheyweremanagingokaywithdialysis.Itwasn’tideal,buttheyweremanaging.ThenNatletitslipthatthepoweroutagesaddedanotherlayerofstresstotheiralreadyupside-downlife.Willhadboughthisparents’housethathegrewupin,nextdoortomyparents,andthewiringwasold.Theyinstalledagenerator,butasurgedamagedit.Theycouldn’twin,andfinally,theygavein.
Mychestwrenchedwithfrustration.Ihatedthattherewasn’tadamnthingIcoulddoaboutthis.
Ihadspentyearsbuildingasuccessfulconstructioncompanywithmybrother.Wehadstartedwithnothing.I’ddonewellformyself.Iwasinmymid-thirties,Ihadanicecarandabeautiful,custom-builthome.IhadmoremoneythanIneeded,butIwascompletelypowerlessagainstthis,andIcouldn’tdoathingtohelpthem.
Keikosensedmymoodandpattedmyarm.“It’sgoingtobeokay.”
Inoddedather,butIwasn’tsureaboutthat.“Thanks.I’vegottorun.Seeyoulater,Keiko.”
Imademywaytotheofficedownthestreet,thinkingaboutthepoweroutagesthewholetime.Ourentiretownwasaffectedbythem,notjustWillandKara.Everybusinesshadtoeithercloseorcomeupwithasolution.Everyresidenthadtohavetheirflashlightsreadyeverytimeatreeswayed.IthadbeenlikethisforaslongasIcouldremember.
Ipassedtownhallandfrownedtomyself.Thepoweroutagesnevercameupintownhallmeetings.NooneseemedasfrustratedwiththeoutagesasIwas,everyonejustacceptedthatthiswaspartoflivinginQueen’sCoveandwecouldn’tchangeit.
Onepersoncouldchangeit,though.
“IsIsaacavailable?”Iaskedthereceptionist,ayoungwomansmackinghergumandstaringatherphone.
Sheshrugged.“Probably.Goonin.”
“Thanks.”Iflashedheragratefulsmilebeforeheadingintotheofficebehindher.
IsaacAnderson,mayorofQueen’sCoveforprobablyadecade,wassittingathisdeskandreadingthelocalpaper.HelookedupwithsurprisewhenIentered.
Hewasinhisearlyforties,decentenoughguy,alwayspleasanttoeveryone,butsomethingabouthimirkedme.Maybeitwasthathiswifeneverspoke,shejustsmiledathisside.Maybeitwasthathealwayslookedperfectlygroomed,tooperfectlygroomed—notasinglehairoutofplace.Maybeitwasbecausehiskidsweresowellbehavedthattheyseemedlikerobots.Ormaybeitwasthatforthelastdecade,nothinginourtownseemedtochange.
“Emmett.”Heblinked.“Didwehaveameeting?”
Ishookmyhead.“Nope,justthoughtI’dstopbytochat.”
Isaacblinkedagainandputthepaperdown,leaningovertolookathiscalendar.“Sure,butIthinkIhaveameetingsoon—”
“Thiswon’ttakelong.”Itookaseatacrossfromhim.“Let’stalkaboutthepoweroutages.”
Hiseyebrowswentup.“Okay.Whataboutthem?”
“Whatisthecitydoingtofixthem?”
Hefrownedandshookhishead.“Emmett,asyouknow,ourgridisfromthesixties.Itjustisn’tdesignedforhowmanypeoplelivehere.”
Igesturedathimtogoon.“And?”
“Andthatmeanswe’reoutofluck.”Heshrugged.“Whatcanwedo?”
Ifrowned.“Citiesexpandallthetime.I’mnotanelectricalengineer,butcan’tweupgradethepowergrid?”
Hegavemeasympatheticlook.“Thatwouldbereallycostly.There’sjustnothingwecando.”
Ifrowneddeeper.Hisfirstsentenceprovedhissecondsentencewrong.Iwatchedashesatbackinhischair,hisexpressionresolved.
“Peoplearemovingawayfromtown,”Itoldhim.“Thetownspentmoneyonanewtouristcentertwoyearsago,butwecan’tspendmoneyontheresidentsthemselves?”
Isaacshruggedagainandshookhishead.“WhatcanIsay,Emmett?Myhandsaretied.Justconsideritpartofoursmall-towncharm.”
Itwaslikehedidn’twanttofixit.Mychestwastightwithirritation.Theroleofthemayorwastotakecareofthetownandworkhardforthepeoplewholivedhere.Isaacdidn’tseemlikehereallycaredaboutthetownorthepeople.Iswallowedthicklyandstood.
“Thanksforyourtime.”Myvoicesoundedcurt.
Ispenttherestofthemorninginmyofficewiththedoorclosed,catchinguponpaperwork,emails,andclientcalls.IkeptmyheaddownandworkedtokeepmymindoffWillandIsaacandthepoweroutages.
***
“Hey,Div,”Icalledoutmyopenofficedoorlaterthatafternoon.
Heappearedatmyofficedoor,phonepoisedandreadytogo.“Yes?”
Div,shortforDivyanshu,wasinhismid-twentiesandworeafullsuiteveryday.I’dmadeitclearthathedidn’thavetodressupforwork,buttheguyinsisted.Divwasagoodassistant—punctual,memorylikeasteeltrap,tech-savvy,andoftenknewmyschedulewithoutlookingatmycalendar.Hecouldwearwhateverhewanted,asfarasIwasconcerned.
“DidHoldensubmithisinvoicesyet?”Iaskedhim.
Divpointedtoacornerofmytidydesk.“Rightthere.”
“Ah.Thanks.”IscoopedupthepapersandshuffledthroughthemuntilIfoundtheoneIwaslookingfor.
“I’morderinglunch.”
“Nothingforme,thanks.Hey,canyousendCalatSparkProabottleofthewhiskeyhelikes?”Westillhadsixmonthsleftonthecommunitycenterproject.StayingonCal’sgoodsidewouldpreventmisunderstandingslikethismorning.
Divmadeanotebeforedisappearingbacktohisdesk.
OnthebottomofthepileofHolden’sinvoicessatabusinessmagazineIhaddoneaninterviewwithacouplemonthsago.Icringedatmyimageonthecover,leaningcasuallyagainsttherailingofoneofourcustom-builthomes.Holdenneverwantedtobeinvolvedwiththiskindofthing,soItookcareofit.Ididn’twanttobeinvolvedeither,butitwasgoodforourreputationandgoodforbusiness.Wehademployeestokeepbusyandmouthstofeed.
“Yourmomwantedtencopies,”Divtoldme.Hedidn’tdarelaughbuthiseyesgleamed.
IrolledmyeyeswithasnortandtossedthemagazineintherecyclingasDivlefttoanswerthephone.
Myemailpingedwithanewsletterfromthetownjournalist.Hewasretiredbutperiodicallysentacondensedversionofthetowneventsandnews.Ienjoyedreadingitandstayinguptodateonwhatwashappeninginmytown.
Willandhisfamilywerementioned.MygazesnaggedonapictureofKara,holdingastuffedtoythatIboughther.Apanda.Igrinned.Shelookedsodamncute,missingthatfronttooth.MychesttightenedasIrealizedthatthiswasmyrelationshipwithWillandhisfamilyfortheforeseeablefuture—photos,texts,emails,andFaceTime.
Itwasn’tright,Karagrowingupinthecitythreehoursaway.BothWillandNat’sparentslivedhere,allherfriendsatschoolwerehere,andmyheartbrokeeverytimeIthoughtabouthernothavingthecarefree,small-townchildhoodthatWillandIhadhad.
IthoughtaboutNatandIfeltapangforher.Karawasherworld,andshewastryingsohardtocreateagreatlifeforher.Althoughshehadn’tspokentomeaboutthis,Iknewmovingwashardonher.Shedidn’twanttoleaveeither,butitwastherightchoicefortheirfamily.
Ihadtofixthis.
Ikeptskimmingthenewsletter,andsomethingcaughtmyeye.
MayoralelectionscheduledforJuly2.
Ifrowned,tryingtorememberthelastelectionwehad,butcameupwithnothing.
“Hey,Div,”Ishoutedoutthedoor.
“What?”hecalledback,appearingatthedoormomentslater.
“Whenwasthelastmayoralelection?”
“Aboutfouryearsago.”Heshrugged.“Thistownhasareallylowvoterturnout.”
“Why?”
“Isaacdoesn’tcampaignbecausenooneeverrunsagainsthim.”
Anideastruckme.Moneypouredintothetowninthesummers—itwasahottouristdestinationwithworld-classaccommodations,dining,andthemostbeautiful,scenicnatureintheworld.Businessescouldn’tkeepupwiththecrowdsinthesummer.Residentsandbusinessesalikepaidmillionsintaxestothecityeveryyearandyetnothinghadbeendoneaboutthepoweroutages.
IfIsaacAndersoncontinuedonasmayor,nothingwouldeverchange.Theold,outdatedelectricalgridwouldcontinuetoendurepoweroutagesandWillandhisfamilywouldneverreturntotown.
Ihadoneofthosefeelings,likeIwasontosomething,andIgrinnedatDiv
Helookedconcerned.“What?Whatisitnow?”
“Ihaveagreatidea.”
Hisnostrilsflared.“Emmett,whateveritis,I’mgoingtocautionyoutothinkaboutitforamoment.Youcansometimesbealittleimpulsive—”
“I’mgoingtorunformayor.”
Hisheadfelltohischest.“Thereisit.”
Inodded,mindracingwithideas.“Yep.Thisfeelsright.I’mgoingtorunformayor.Calltheprinters,callthegraphicdesigner,andlet’sgetsomecampaignswaggoing.Oh,andIguessweshouldtellcityhall.”
Divgavemealonglookbeforehesighed.“I’monit.”
“Thanks,Div,”Icalledafterhimashereturnedtohisdesk.
Suddenly,thisdaydidn’tfeelsoawful.SoWilllefttown,sure,thatwasabadstart,butIhadaplan.Iwasgoingtofixthis.3Avery
“Theyturnedyoudown?”Hannahaskedlater,herblueeyeswidebehindherglassesaswesatinthebackofPemberleyBooks,thebookstoresheranwithherdad.
Weoftenhungoutbackhere,behindthebookshelvesandthetoweringstacksofbooks.Hannah’smomhadstartedPemberleyBooksintheninetieswithherdad.AftershepassedinHannah’steenageyears,herdadtookover,butHannahranthestorefulltimeaftershegraduateduniversity.
MycheapapartmentsmelledlikehotdogsandHannahlivedwithherdadinatinyhouseacoupleblocksaway,sooncethecustomersweregoneandHannahhadlockedthedoor,thebookstorewastheperfectplacetochat.Sometimes,onFridaynights,weputSpiceGirlsmusiconanddrankwine.Thisdustylittlestorewasmyfavoritehangoutspotintown.
Islidfurtherdownthebigsquishychair,breathinginthefamiliarpapersmellinthestore.Hannahsatacrossfrommeinanidenticalchair.“Yep.Abigredrejectionsstamp,rightonmyforehead.”Apangoffrustrationhitmygut.“Idon’thaveenoughsavingstopassthebusinessloanstresstest.”
Hannahchewedherlipandwatchedme.“Whatareyougoingtodo?”
Anoldermanpokedhisheadoutofthebookstacks.“Doyouhaveanybooksonwood?”heaskedHannahwithafrown.
Hannahpaused,thinking.“Wehaveabookonoaktrees.”
Heshookhishead.“Nottrees.Wood.”
IstifledalaughwhileHannahlookedconfused.
“Anddon’tevensaythey’rethesamethingliketheotherplace,”themantoldher,andIhidmygrinbehindmyhand.WhenHannahlookedperplexed,themandisappearedintothebookstacks.
“IhavenocluewhatI’mgoingtodo,”Itoldher.“Doyouhaveacouplehundredthousanddollarslyingaround?”
Weglancedaroundtheshabbybookstore.Therewasdustonnearlyeverysurface.Theplacewasdark,withtheonlydaylightpeekinginbehindthefloor-to-ceilingstacksofbooksinthewindows.Thecarpetbeneathourfeetwasworn.Asifthebookstoreheardus,oneoftheshelvesbehindHannah’sheadbrokeandbooksclunkedtotheground.
“Ohmygod,areyouokay?”Iasked.
Sherubbedthebackofherhead.“Ow.Yes.Andno,wedon’thaveacouplehundredthousanddollarslyingaroundorthisplacewouldn’tsmelllikethat.”
Igrinnedather.“AllIsmellisoldbooks.”
Shelookedatmeoutofthecornerofhereye.“That’sgood.”
Welaughed.
Theman’sheadpoppedoutbehindthebookstackagain.“Anybooksontermites?”
Hannahshookherhead.“Wedon’thaveanybooksontermitesrightnow,butifyouhaveaspecificoneyouwerelookingfor,Icanorderitin.”
Themanmadeaforgetaboutitgesture,grumbledsomething,andwanderedoff.
Hannahwasmybestfriend,andIhadspentmanyhourssittingwithherinthebackofPemberleyBooks.ImethershortlyafterImovedtotown.Shewasafewyearsyoungerthanme,veryshyandquietwithmostpeople,butIhadwornherdownbystoppingbyherbookstoreonaweeklybasisandaskinghertotrackdownseveralhard-to-findbooksonantiquejewelry.Iwasnotarichlady,andIhadbeensavingmyassoffforyearstobuytherestaurant,butIhadoneteenytinyindulgence—antiquejewelry,specificallyfromtheearlynineteenhundreds.
Iexhaledthroughmynoseandthepangoffrustrationhitmeinthegutagain.Icouldn’tbelievehownaiveI’dbeenthismorningatthebank.IfiguredthatbecauseIhadworkedhardandsaved,didn’thaveanydebt,andhadalwaysbeenresponsiblewithmycreditcard,thatIcouldjustputmyhandout,askforsomemoney,andthebankwouldbethrilledtoloanittome.
Notthecase.
“Ieitherneedtofindawaytomakeway,waymoremoney,”ItoldHannah,“orIneedtofindanotherwaytogetaloan.OrIneedacosigner.”
Shecockedherheadatme.
TheloanspecialisthadtoldmeIcouldgetabusinessloanifIhadacosignersignontheloanforme.Theloanwouldbetechnicallyforbothofus,andifIchosenottopayitback,thatotherpersonwouldbeonthehookforthemoney.Ideally,thiswouldbeapersonwithhighincome,exceptionalcredit,anddeeppockets.
“Whataboutyourparents?”Hannahasked,andIsnorted.
“Definitelynot.Withhiscredit,Idon’tthinkmydadcouldborrowabookfromthelibrary,andIdon’twanttoputmymominthatposition.”Aftertherestaurantwentunder,mymomfoundouthowmuchmoneymydadhadborrowedwhiletheyweretryingtomakeitwork.Theywereinthered.Really,reallyred.Thenmydadtookoffandbecausetheyweremarried,itwasn’tjusthisdebt.Itwasherdebt,too.Istillrememberedherexpressionwhenthelettersbegantoarrive,allstampedOVERDUEandLASTNOTICEinbigredletters.
Ashiverrippledthroughme.TherewasnowayIwasgoingtoaskhertocosignonmyloan,evenifIwouldfightlikehelltopreventherfromhavingtopayacent.Ijustcouldn’tdothattoher.
OffHannah’suncertainexpression,Isatupstraighterandgaveheraconfidentsmile.“I’mgoingtofigurethisout.”
Shenodded.“IsthereanythingIcandotohelp—”
“Nope,”Isaid,cuttingheroff.“I’vegotit.”
Thebellonthefrontdoorrangasacustomerwalkedin.Hannahstood.“Berightback.”
Istoodaswell.“I’vegottogettotherestaurant.Thanksforlistening.”
“Anytime,”shesaidoverhershoulder,givingmeasmileanddisappearingintothebookstackstosayhellotothecustomer.
Onthewalkbacktotherestaurant,Imentallyranthroughmyoptions,comingupshortonanysolutions.Icouldn’tgetasmallerloanandofferKeikolessmoney—thatwasn’tfairtoher.Shehadputyearsintothisbusinessandsellingitwasherretirementincome.Offeringherlessputherinanawkwardposition,becauseIhadafeelingshewouldaccept.Iknewshewantedmetohavetherestaurant,butIcouldn’tsleepatnightknowingIshort-changedher.
ThesecondIturnedthecornerandtherestaurantcameintoview,IforgotallaboutKeiko,therestaurant,andtheloan.Ihadabrand-newproblem.
Infrontoftherestaurant,therewasasmallstretchofgrasswithsomegardensandfoliage.Therestaurant’snamesakeArbutustreegrewattherightoftheentrance.Apathledthroughthegardenareatotherestaurantandintheevenings,lanternslinedthewalkway.Bencheswereplacedaroundtheentranceamongtheflowersandplantstoseatdinerswaitingfortheirtables.Ilovedthisfrontexteriordesign—itwasbeautiful,inviting,andserene.
ButIdidn’tfeeltheserenityastwomenpoundedwoodenstakesintothegrass,installinganenormousbluesignwithEmmettRhodes’faceonit.
Ifeltrage.
VoteforEmmettRhodes,thesignread.Itwasnearlytenfeettallandcompletelyblockedthewindowstotherestaurantsothatpedestrianscouldviewthemonstrosity.Insteadofoverlookingthetown’squaintstreetandpeople-watching,dinerswouldhaveaviewofthebackofEmmett’ssign.
Ibarkedahumorlesslaugh.Ofcoursehewasrunningformayor.Theguythoughtthesunshinedstraightoutofhisass,ofcoursehewantedtogetintopolitics.
Isureashellwasn’tgoingtohelphim,andIwasn’tgoingtolethimscareoffcustomerswithapictureofhisfacethesizeofanelephant.
ThemenwereputtingthefinishingtouchesonthestructureasIstalkedup.
“Goodmorning.Let’stalkaboutthis.”IgesturedatEmmett’sstupidsmilingface.Histeethweresofreakingwhite.
Themenlookeduncertain.Oneofthemclimbeddownhisladder.“WewerehiredbyEmmettRhodes’campaigntoinstallthis.”
Inoddedatthem.“Iunderstandyou’redoingyourjob,butthisisabusiness,andyoudon’thavepermissiontodothis.Pleaseremoveit.”
Emmettappearedatmyside,studyingthesign.“Greatwork,guys.”
Theybegantopackupandleave,andIturnedtoEmmett,crossingmyarmsovermychest.“Getridofit.”
Hestudiedthesign,ignoringme.“Ithoughtitwouldbebigger.”
Iinhaledandrubbedmytemples.Thisguy.Icouldn’tbelievehim.“Thiscan’tbehere.Whosaidyoucouldputthesignup?”
Hegavemethesamewinningsmilethatwasonthesign.“Keiko.”
Mynostrilsflared.“Keikotoldyouitwasokaytoputabillboardinfrontofherrestaurant?”
Henodded,smilingandwatchingmewithanexpressionthatwasequalpartscuriosityandamusement.“Shesuredid.See,Adams,whenI’mmayor,I’mgoingtoupgradetheelectricalgrid.Thatmeansnomorepoweroutages,andbusinessownerslovethatideajustasmuchasresidents.”Hegesturedatthesign.“Keikowashappytoletmeinstallthishere.”
Ishookmyheadtomyself.Keiko,you’retoogoodtobewooedbythisguyandhisfalsecharms.“Unbelievable,”Iscoffed.“Youregoknowsnolimits,doesit?”
Hegavemeacockygrin.“I’mjusttryingtodotherightthing,Adams.”
Right.Therightthing.IknewguyslikeEmmettRhodes.Slippery,schmoozey,friendswitheveryoneuntilyouneededthemortheyneededtobeaccountablefortheirchoices.
Keikohadsaidyestohim,andIdidn’towntherestaurant.AtwistofnerveshitmeinthegutwhenIrememberedmybankloanrejectionthismorning.Ihadbiggerproblemsthanthissign.
“Removeitbytheendofelectionday,”Isaid,turningandwalkingupthepathtotherestaurant.“OrI’lldrawdevilhornsonitandshowpeoplewhoyoureallyare.”
Emmett’slowlaughfollowedme,andmyjawclenched.
“IhopeIcancountonyourvote,Adams,”hecalledafterme.
“Whenhellfreezesover,”Icalledbackbeforedisappearinginsidetherestaurant.
“Avery,”Max’svoicestoppedmeinmytracksthesecondIsteppedinside.Itwasbusy,mosttableswerefull,andMaxhadafrantic,wide-eyedlooktohim.“Beacalled,shehasacold.Itoldherwe’dcoverit.That’sokay,right?”
Inodded,glancingoutatthebackofthecampaignsign.Whataneyesore.“Definitely.I’llhandlehertables,”ItoldMax,andhelookedrelieved.
Imissedservingsometimes.Thegoodpartsatleast,likekeepingbusy,interactingwithpeopleonvacationandlocalsenjoyingtheirdays,andwatchingthecogsofthisrestaurantturn.
“TableThree,orderup,”thelinecookcalled,andIusedclothstoscooptheplatesupbeforehustlingthemouttothetable.
“Heythere,”IsaidtoElizabeth,oneofmyfavoritepeopleinthistown.Shesatatatablenearthewindowbyherself,chinonherpalm,gazingoutthewindowattheoceanwithagentlesmile.
ElizabethRhodeswasinhersixtiesandwasoneofthekindest,mostastutepeopleIknew.Shehadraisedfourboys,includingEmmett,sotookabsolutelynobullshitfromanyone.Shehadagroundingpresenceabouther,andthesecondIsteppedintoherproximity,IfeltlikeIdidn’thavetobeanyonebutmyself.Shewasoneofthosepeoplewhomadeeveryonearoundherfeelspecial.Icouldn’texplainit.
Don’taskmehowsomeonelikeEmmettcamefromsomeonelikeElizabeth.Ihadnoclue.
Shebeamedupatme.“Avery,whatanicesurprise.”
“Ihaveasalmonburgerwithasidesaladandachickpeabowl.”
Sheheldherhandup.“Chickpeabowlhere,please.”
“Thesalmonburgerisforme,”Emmettsaidatmyside,slippingintohischair.Heflashedmeabiggrin,andIstaredathimblanklybeforeturningbacktoElizabethwithapleasantsmile.
“CanIgetyouanythingelse?”Iaskedher,ignoringherson.
Sheshookherhead.“No,thankyou.”
“I’llhaveanothercoffee,”Emmettadded.
“We’reout,”Isaidwithoutlookingathim.
“Oh,didyouhearthenews?”Elizabethaskedme.“Emmetthereisrunningformayor.”
Isnorted,andmygazeflickedtohim.
Elizabethstood.“Excusemeamoment,IwanttowashmyhandsbeforeIeat.”
Whenshedisappeared,Ilookedaroundwildlyinmockconfusion.“Hey,why’sitsodarkinhere?”IkeptmyvoicelowsoonlyEmmettcouldhearme.“Ididn’tknowweweredueforaneclipse—oh,that’sjustyourcampaignsignblockingoutthesun.”
Anamusedgrinspreadoverhisfeatures.
“IsaacAndersonhasbeenmayoralongtime,”Itoldhim.
“I’maware,”hereplied,andIsawaflashofindignationinhiseyes.“Toolong,don’tyouthink?”
“Whatdoesthatmean?”
“ItmeansthatI’mtiredoftheproblemsinthistown,andit’stimewehadsomefreshbloodincityhall.”Heleanedforwardandrestedhiselbowsonthetable,watchingmeintently.“Aren’tyousickofhavingtothrowouteverythinginthefreezereverytimeyourkitchenlosespower?”
Ipaused.Hehadapoint.Wehadrefinedourorderingsothatwekeptaslittlefoodonhandaswecould,butitwasn’tthemostefficientprocess.ItwouldsavemetimeandmoneyifIcouldbuymorefoodinbulkandstorecertainthingslonger.
TheimageofIsaacandhisperfectlittlefamily,eatingattherestauranttheothernight,flashedintomyhead.“So,you’regoingtodethroneIsaacandhisperfectlittlefamily.”
“Yep,”Emmettconfirmed.“Iam.”
“Youshouldprobablyhiresomeonetoplayyourdutifullittlewife,”Itoldhim.“Maybeacouplechildactorstoplayyourperfectcyborgchildren.That’stheonlywayyou’regoingtowin.”Ilookedhimupanddown.“Noone’sgoingtotrustthetownbachelorwiththeirtaxmoney.”
Thatgotareaction.HefrownedandopenedhismouthtosaysomethingbutshutitwhenElizabethslippedintoherseatacrossfromhim.
“Avery,IheardaboutKeikosellingtheplace,”Elizabethsaid,asympatheticexpressionsettlingonherfeatures.“That’stoobadaboutyourloan.”
Myeyeswidened.Howdidsheknow?Someonemusthaveoverheardusinthebookstorethismorning.Ormaybesomeonesawmeleavingthebank,lookingpissedoff
Inodded,givingheratightsmilewhilemystomachtwisted.Goddamn,thissmalltown.Ilovedthisplace,butwordspreadfast.Aknotformedinmystomachatthementionoftheloan.“It’scertainlyunexpected.”
Shereachedoutandtouchedmyarm.“IknowhowmuchTheArbutusmeanstoyou.”
Igaveheranothertightsmile.IhatedthatpeopleknewIcouldn’tgetaloan.Shameboiledinmygut.“I’llfiguresomethingout.”
Emmett’sphonebuzzed.“HiDiv,”heanswered,standingandwalkingawayfromthetable.
Ishookmyheadafterhim.Sorude.Politemendidn’tanswerthephonewhilehavinglunchwiththeirmom.EspeciallynotmomslikeElizabeth.
Throughthewindowsthatweren’tblockedbytheworld’slargestcampaignsign,Ispottedagroupofpeopleoutside,gatheringaroundsomeone.
“What’sgoingonoutthere?”Iasked.
Elizabethglancedover.“OneofthekidsinMs.Yang’sclassatschoolistakingcareoftheclassturtlefortheweek.Don’ttellEmmett,hehatesturtles.Avery,honey,didyouseethemagazineEmmettison?”Sheliftedituptoshowme,andIstudiedhisimage.
Damn,hewasgood-looking.Toobadhisoutsidesdidn’tmatchhisinsides.
Wait.“Whatdoyoumean,hehatesturtles?”
Sheshookherhead.“Can’tstandthem.Heranintoonewithhisbikewhenhewasakidandcrushedit,poorthing.”
Iwasn’tsurewhetherherpoorthingreferredtoEmmettortheturtle,butIhadspentenoughofmydaythinkingabouthimsogaveheranotherwarmsmile.“Okay,well,enjoyyourfood.”
Oncethelunchrushdieddown,Iretreatedtomyofficeandclosedthedoor.Islumpedintomychairandletoutalongsigh.ThebankwasconcernedthatIcouldn’tmakepaymentsintheeventthattherestauranthadtoclosetemporarily.Ieitherneededtofindanothersourceofincomeorgetaloanfromelsewhere.
Awaveofdespairandhopelessnesswashedthroughme,andIinhaledsharplythroughmynose.Myeyesclosedbriefly,butIshovedthefeelingsaside.Iwouldnotfeelsorryformyself,andIwouldnotgiveup.Iwasgoingtofindawaytogetthatmoney.4Emmett
“Hi,Div,”Iansweredwithmyphoneagainstmyear,walkingawayfromthetable.
“Thepollnumbersarein.”
Isteppedoutside,whereitwasquieter.“And?”
“Isaacisaheadofyoubyafulltwentypoints.”
Inearlychoked.“Twenty?”Myeyesnarrowed,andIwandereddownthepathbeforetakingaseatatoneofthebenches.“It’searly.Ourcampaignjuststarted.Peopleneedtimetoprocesstheinformation.Didtheysaywhatitwasinparticularthatmadethemhesitanttovoteforme?Isitmyexperience?BecauseIhavetenyears—”
“—experiencerunningamulti-million-dollarconstructioncompany,yes,everyoneisaware.Theysawthemagazinecover.It’sbeenverypopularonoursocialmedia,especiallywithwomentwentytoforty.”
Realizationhitme.“Iknowwhattheissueis.”
Hesighedwithrelief.“Good.I’mgladit’scleartoyou,too.”
“I’mtoohandsometobemayor.Peopledon’ttrustsomeoneattractivetoalsobesmartandcapable.”
Damnmyparentsforpassingontheirgoodgenes.
Divmadeanimpatientnoise.“No,Emmett,thismaycomeasasurprisetoyou,butbeinggood-lookingisactuallyhelpingyouinthepolls.”
Icouldhearhiseyerollontheotherside,andIgrinnedtomyself.
“It’sthatyou’resingle.”
Recordscratch.Ifrownedandranmyfingersalongtheoutsideofthewindow.Singlepane.Ifrowneddeeper.Singlepanewindowswerereallyenergyinefficient.Thesemusthavebeenpartoftheoriginalstructureofthebuilding.Theywouldletalotofheatoutinthewinterandwouldlettheheatinduringthesummer.
Wait,single?Peopledidn’twantmetobemayorbecauseIwassingle?
“Whatdoesthathavetodowithanything?”IaskedDiv,shakingmyhead.“Howdoesmyrelationshipstatusaffectmyjob?”
“Itfactorsintohowreliable,trustworthy,andresponsibleyouare,”hetoldme.“Deepdown,peoplefigurethatifsomeoneiswillingtodateyoulong-termormarryyou,youmustbeasomewhatdecentguy.”Heclearedhisthroat.“Andyouhavealonghistoryof—howdidTessaWozniakputit—hititandquitit.”
Ichokedoutalaugh.“ThatisnotwhatIdo.”
“That’swhatitlooksliketoeveryone.”
Thiswasunbelievable.Myshouldermusclestightened,andIshookmyheadagain.“JustbecauseIhaven’tdonetherelationshipthingdoesn’tmeanI’mirresponsible.That’sjustnotwhatIwant,andit’snotwhatthewomenIhangoutwithwant.”
“Iknow,Iknow,”Divsaid.“I’mjustgivingyoutheinformation.Yourrelationshiphistoryandsinglestatusisknockingyournumbersdown.”
Mymouthpressedintoatightline,andIexhaledthroughmynose.“Politicsarestupid.”
“Iknow,”heagreedasifhewereamotherconsolingachild.“They’revery,verystupid.”
Irritationtwistedinmystomach.Icouldn’tbelievethatafterspendingmostofmylifehere,exceptforcollege,thistownstilljudgedmebysomethingasridiculousasmyrelationshipstatus.Unbelievable.WhywasIevendoingthis?
IrememberedWill’sfacefromacoupledaysagowhenwehadpackedtheboxesintohiscar.Howhelookeddeterminedbutsadaswescannedthroughthehousetomakesurehehadn’tforgottenanything.
Right.Will.Mybestfriend.IwasdoingthisforWill,forNat,andforKara,sotheycouldmovebackhere,andKaracouldhavethechildhoodthatWillandIhadhad.Sheshouldbegrowinguphere,whereherfamilyandcommunitywere,notinsomeapartmentbuildinginthecitywherenoonekneweachother.
Itookadeepbreathandrolledmyshouldersout.“So,whatdowedo?”
“Weneedtofindawaytomakeyoulookresponsible.You’llbevolunteeringatthefoodbanknextweek.”
“Great.”Inarrowedmyeyesandgrimaced.Thatdidn’tfeellikeenough,though.
WhatdidIsaacAndersonhavethatIdidn’t?
Awife.Afamily.
Will.WhatthetownwantedwassomeonelikeWill.Isnorted.Thatwasn’tme.Sure,theideaofafamilywasnice,forsomepeople—peoplelikeWill,peoplelikeIsaac.Notpeoplelikeme.Ijustwasn’tthatfamilykindofguy.Iwasn’tthekindofguywhowantedalong-termcommitment.Ididn’tbuyintotheideathattherewassomeoneforeveryone,andthateveryoneneededtobeinarelationship.
Ilikedmyspace.Ienjoyedlivingalone.IlikedmythingsbeingexactlywhereIleftthem.Ilikedmytidyhouse,andnothavingtocleanupafteranyone.IlikedcominghomewheneverIchoseto,andnothavingtocheckinwithanyone.Itriedbeingsomeone’sboyfriendonce,anditcrashedandburned.Itwasn’twhoIwas.
AveryAdams’wordsflashedintomyhead.
Youshouldprobablyhiresomeonetoplayyourdutifullittlewife.
Aslowsmilespreadovermyfeatures.Imighthavebeenhandsome,butdamnifIwasn’tageniusaswell.
“Div,I’mgoingtoneedyoutoreachouttoatalentagencyinVictoria.Weneedawomanaroundmyage.”
Hewassilentontheotherend.
“Div?Youstillthere?”
“I’mstillhere.”Histonewasflat.“I’mafraidtoask,butwhydoweneedawomanfromatalentagency?”
“We’regoingtohiresomeonetoplaymygirlfriend.”
Divgroaned,andIgrinned.“I’monit,”hesaidwithreluctance.
“Great.Thanks,buddy.”
Wehungup,andIheadedbackintotherestaurantasafewpeoplewereleaving.
“DidyouhearthatKeikoismovingtothemainland?”awomanaskedherfriend.“She’sgoingtoselltherestauranttoAvery.”
Theotherwomanshookherhead.“No,Averytriedtogetaloanthismorning,andtheyrejectedher.Shedoesn’thaveahighenoughincome.”
Theotherwoman’smouthdropped.“Thatpoorthing.”
Iwatchedthewomenwalkaway,andIrememberedmymommentioningthisinsidetherestaurant.
AveryAdamswantedtobuythisrestaurantbutcouldn’tgetaloan.
Huh.
Myeyesnarrowed.
Ididn’tknowmuchaboutAdams,besidesthefactthatshecouldn’tstandme,butevenIknewhowhardsheworked.Backwhenshewasaserver,everyonewantedtobeseatedinhersectionbecauseofhowattentiveshewas,howthefoodalwaysshowedupquicklyandexactlyasordered,andhowpersonableshewas.Anyonecouldseeshelovedtherestaurant,thewayshethrivedonkeepingcustomershappy,howshetookprideintheplace.
Ithoughtagainaboutwhatshehadsaidinside,howIsaacAndersonhadaperfectwifeandperfectfamily,andhowshesaidIshouldhiresomeonetoplaymywife.
MyskinprickledwiththatfunnyfeelingIalwaysgotatworkwhenIwasontosomething.WhenIcouldsenseanopportunity.Ididn’tbuildRhodesConstructiontowhatitcurrentlywasbyignoringmyinstincts.Theyalwaystoldmewhentherewasanopportunityinfrontofme.
AveryAdamsneededtobuythisrestaurant,andshedidn’thaveenoughmoney.Ineededtowinthiselection,andIdidn’thaveadutifullittlewifetomakemelookresponsible.
Shewasperfect.Cute,hard-working,independent,andwell-likedintown.ShewasexactlythekindofpersonpeoplewouldbelieveI’ddate.
Abiggrinspreadacrossmyface.
***
Thenextday,Ireturnedtotherestaurant.“IsAveryhere?”IaskedMax.
Heshookhishead.“Nope,she’llbebacksoon.”Hepulledouthisphoneandcheckedthetime.“Inaboutanhour.”
Icouldn’twaitanhour,Iwantedtotalktohernow.“AnyideawhereIcanfindher?”
“Weforcedhertogotoamovie.”
Myeyebrowtickedup.“Youforcedher?”
Maxnodded.“Sometimes,sheneedsencouragementtotakeabreakfromthisplace.”
So,Adamswasaworkaholic.Zerosurprisethere.Ithankedhimagainandmademywaydownthestreettothetheater.
“One,please,”Itoldtheteenagerworkingthere.
Sheblinkedatmewithaboredexpression.“Themovie’shalfover.”
Inodded.“That’sfine.Iwon’tbeherelong.”
Sherolledhereyesandtookmymoneybeforehandingmeaticket.
Itwasdarkinthetheater,andanoldmoviefromthesixtiesflashedacrossthescreen.Thereweren’tmanypeopleinside,soitdidn’ttakemelongtospother.
“Hi,”Isaid,takingaseatbesideher,andsheflinchedbehindhergianttubofpopcorn.
Shegavemealookthatsaidugh,you.Icouldfeelthegrinonmyface.Ilovedachallenge.
“Whatmovieisthis?”Iwhispered,reachingoverandtakingahandfulofherpopcorn.
Sheslappedmyhandaway.“Whatareyoudoing?”shewhisperedback.“HeretoconvincemetovoteforEmmettRhodes?”Shesnorted.“Desperate,”shemockedinasing-songwhisper.
Itiltedmyheadather.“Youdon’tlikeme,doyou?”
Shegavemealookoutofthecornerofhereyeandturnedbacktothescreen.“No.”
“Whatareyoudoingtonight?”
Shegavemeanareyouseriouslook.“Really?Ohmygod,thisissosad.Thisisbeneathyou.”
“What?”Iaskedwithafrown.
“Askingwomenoutinordertogarnervotes?Don’tyouthinkthat’sgoingtocatchupwithyou?”
Alaughchokedoutofmythroat.“ThatisnotwhatI’mdoinghere.”
“Oh,really?”Sheputonalowvoiceandjuttedherjawout.“Iwaslookingforyou,Avery.Whatareyoudoingtonight,Avery?Letmejustcrossmyarmssomybicepspopout.”
Ahugegrinspreadacrossmyface,andIlookeddownatmybicepandflexed.“Thanksfornoticingallmyhardworkatthegym.IsthatwhatIsoundlike?”
Someoneshushedus.
“I’mverybusy,”shewhispered.“Pleaseleave.”
“Iknowhowyoucanbuytherestaurant.”
Herexpressionchanged,andthatsweetfeelingofsatisfactionsettledinmychest.
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”Shewatchedmecarefully,chewingherlip.
Someoneshushedusagain.
“Harold,you’veseenthismoviesixtimes!”Averycalledoverhershoulder.Sheturnedbacktome.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”shewhisperedagain.
Igavehermymostcharmingsmile.Iwasn’tgoingtotellheryet.Marketing101taughtmepeopledon’twanttogiveupwhattheyalreadyhave.That’swhyfreetrialsweresoeffective.IwouldletAverymullallafternoonaboutthepossibilityofhavingherrestaurant,andbythisevening,shewouldn’twanttogiveitup,soshe’dacceptmydeal.
“DoyourememberwhereIlive?”Iasked.
Shefrowned.“Emmett.Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
Istood.“Seveno’clock.”
“Justtellmenow,”shehissedaftermeasIwalkedout.
“Seveno’clock,”Irepeatedovermyshoulder.“Don’teatbefore.”
Outside,Icaughtmyreflectionintheglass,andsmiledtomyself.Iwasagenius.Ahandsome,goddamngenius.
***
TherewasaknockonthedoorasIfilledapotwithwatertoboilthelinguine.
“Comeonin,Adams,”Icalledandplacedthepotonthestove.
“Adams?”mybrotherHoldenasked,walkingintothekitchen.
Iturnedandfrowned.“Youcan’tstay.Ihaveathing.”Hedidn’tneedtoknowthedetails.
Itwasn’tunusualforHoldentodropinlikethis,mybrothersandIdidthisallthetime.Ididn’twanthimtohangaroundandscareAveryoff,though.NotbeforesheknewwhatIcouldoffer.
“AveryAdams?”Hetiltedhisheadatmeandtookaseatatthequartzcounter,hisgazeskimmingovereverysurface,everyplumbingconnection.Wehadinstalledmostofthiskitchenourselvesacoupleyearsago,andhewouldn’tletuscutasinglecorner,eventhoughitwasonlymelivinghereandIneverplannedtomoveorsellthisplace.“Ithoughtyoudon’tallowwomeninyourhome.”
Isaltedthewater.“What?That’sridiculous.Momcomesoverallthetime.”
“Singlewomen.Yousaidthatinvitingwomenovertellsthemyouwantarelationship.”
ThatdidsoundlikesomethingIwouldsay.“Thisisdifferent.”Iturnedandgavehimalook.“Didyoucomeheretoharassme?BecauseIhaveastackofinvoicesofyoursfromfourmonthsagothatwecantalkabout.”
Holdengrunted.“Icametopickupmydrill.”HeglancedatthepaintingthatKarahaddoneafewmonthsago,pinnedtomyfridgewithamagnet.“HowareWillandNatsettlingin?”
Ishruggedandfocusedonchoppingshallots.“Fine.”
“Isawtherentersmovedin.”WehadtoldWillwe’dkeepaneyeontheplaceandhelpoutiftherewereanyissues.
Iswallowedandchoppedtheshallotsintotinylittlebits.“Yep.Haven’theardaboutanyissues,though.”
Holdengruntedagain.
“Whatareyoumaking?”heasked,watchingmechop.
Igavehimanexasperatedlook.“You’renotstaying.”
“BecauseAvery’scomingover?”
TherewasanotherknockonthedoorandHolden’seyebrowswentup.Ipointedatthebackdoor.“Thedrillisinthegarage.Out.Now.”
Hismouthhitched,andhestrodeoutthebackdoorwhileIdroppedthepastaintotheboilingwater,setatimer,andmademywaytothefoyer.
Shestoodonmyfrontstepwithahandonherhipandascowlonherface.
“Youshowedup,”Inotedwithagrin.
Sheraisedaneyebrowandcrossedherarmsoverherchest.Sheseemedpissed.Maybemyplantohavehermullthingsoverfortheafternoonhadbackfired.
“Comeonin,”Isaid,andshefollowedmeinsidewithoutaword.Iledherintothekitchen,whereIpulledabottleofwhitewineoutofthewinefridgeandworkedatremovingthecork.
“WhyamIhere?”sheasked,lookingaroundmykitchen.She’dneveradmitit,butIknewalookofadmirationwhenIsawit.
“Takeaseat.”Igesturedatthebarstoolsandpouredheraglassofwine.“Kickyourfeetup.Relax.You’vehadalongday.”
Sheglaredatme.
Iturnedmybacktohertohidemygrinandstirredthepastaintheboilingwater.IhadmyworkcutoutformewithAvery,butIlovedachallenge.Thelastdecadeofmylifehadtaughtmethatthebiggerthechallenge,thebetterthepayoff.HoldenandIworkedformonthstowinacontracttorebuildthehospitalacoupletownsover.Ispentweeksonthosejobproposalsandattendedcountlessmeetings,answeringquestionafterquestion.Mypatiencewastestedwiththeprojectmanagerontheirside,buteventually,wewontheproject.
Ihadbeenrunningformayorforlessthanaweek,anditwasalreadyprovingtobeanuphillclimb,butIknewitwouldbeworthit.
Thetimerforthepastadinged.Idraineditinthesinkwhileshewatched.“You’reaclosedbook,Avery.AllIknowisthatyoudon’tlikeme.”
Sheshiftedonherstoolandglancedbetweenmeandthepasta.Steambillowedintotheairbetweenus.Itiltedmychinather.“See?Can’tstandme.Youcanbarelybeinthesameroomwithme.Whyisthat?”
Sheglancedaroundmykitchen,gazesnaggingonthetop-of-the-linegasstove,fullystockedwinefridge,andbarcabinetwithanextensivesupplyofliquorsthatrivaledherrestaurant.“Gettothepoint,Emmett.”Shetookasipofwine.
Icheckedmysauceoverthestove,dippingaspoonin.“Youshouldbemyfakegirlfriend.”
Shechokedandnearlydroppedtheglass,catchingitwiththeotherhandjustintime.Ismiledandwatchedherreactionflipfromsurprise,confusion,disbelief,tofinally,humor.
Shebarkedoutalaugh.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?Didyouinhaletoomanypaintfumesonajobsite?”
“Idon’tworkonjobsites,mybrotherdoesallthat.Here.”Icarriedthespoonofsauceovertoher.“Tastethis.”Oninstinct,sheopenedhermouth,andIslippedthespoonbetweenherlips.Sheblinkedinconfusion.“Enoughsalt?”
“No.What?”Shesputteredandblinked,andIreturnedtothestovetoaddmoresalt.“Canwegobacktothepartaboutmedefinitelynotbeingyourfakegirlfriend?”
“IthoughtyouwantedtobuyTheArbutus.”Iglancedatherovermyshoulder.
Somethingflashedacrossherface.Focus.Determination.Shame.Shestaredatherwineglass.“Ido.”
“Everyoneintownistalkingabouthowyougotrejectedforabusinessloan.”
Hernostrilsflaredandthelookshegavemecouldhavesingedmyeyebrowsoff.“Everyoneisnottalkingaboutit.”
Iraisedmyeyebrowsather.
Shelookeddownatherwine,andforamoment,Ialmostfeltbadforher.ButthenIrememberedIwasgoingtoofferheramutuallyexclusivedealthatwouldgiveherexactlywhatshewanted.
“Whatdoesthishavetodowithmedefinitelynotbeingyourfakegirlfriend?”sheasked.
ShewatchedasIplatedthepasta—apestowhitewinesaucewithsun-driedtomatoesandprawns.Ithadeverythingdelicious—salt,fatfromtheoliveoilandpesto,sweetnessfromthetomatoes.Herfingerstoyedwiththestemofherwineglass.
“Ihaveyoutocreditformygeniusidea,actually,”Itoldher,slidingtheplatetowardsherandpullingforksfromthecutlerydrawer.“IsaacAndersonhassomethingthatIdon’t—aperfectfamilyofrobots.”Itooktheseatbesideherandgesturedatherfood.“Imean,atleasttryit.”
Shegavemeawitheringlookoutofthecornerofhereye,pickedupherfork,andateabite.“Cyborgs.MaxandIcallthemcyborgsbecausethey’reallsoperfect,”shesaidandreachedforanotherbite.“I’mnotdatingyou.”
Ilaughed.“Ofcoursenot,notforreal.It’llallbeforshow.IjustneedtoshowthetownthatI’maresponsible,reliableguy.”
“Youwanttolietoeveryone.”
Iblanched.“Ofcoursenot.Iamaresponsible,reliableguy,butpeoplecan’tseemtogetoverthefactthatI’msingle.”
“WhywouldIdothis?”
“BecauseI’mgoingtoloanyouthemoneyfortherestaurant.”Itookabiteofpastaandflavorburstonmytongue.“Damn,I’magoodcook.It’sthewine,italwaysmakesfoodbetter.”
Shedidn’tanswer.Herforkhoveredoverherfood,andshestaredatherwineglass.
Mymouthhitched,butIstayedquiet.Shewasthinkingaboutit.Shewasturningoverinhermind,inspectingitfromallangles,andweighingheroptions.Shehadnootherchoice.IhadherrightwhereIwantedher.
“Nooneisgoingtobelieveus,”shefinallysaid.
Ihadher.Shewasin,butIkeptmyexpressionneutral.“Suretheywill.”
Sheshookherhead.“It’snotgoingtowork.Thistownknowsus.Theyknowwe—”Sheflickedherfingerbackandforthbetweenus.“—wouldnever.”
“Don’tsaythataboutyourself,Avery,you’reaveryattractivewoman.”
Shelookedmurderous.“Thatwasmoreaboutyouthanme.”
“Nooneisgoingtobelieveyouwouldn’tsleepwithme.”
Sheputherheadinherhands.“Oh,mygod.Thisisn’thappening.”Shelookedupandshookherhead.“I’mnotdoingthis.I’mnotlyingtoeveryone.Itwon’twork,andit’llblowupinourfaces.”
Isetmyelbowsonthecounterandleanedforwardtowardher,restingmychinonmypalm,lookingintohereyes.“What’syourgrandplan?”
Herchestroseandfellbutshestayedsilent.Shehadnothing.Shestabbedherforkintothelinguineandtookanotherhugebite.Itwasgood,andshehatedthatitwasgood,andsomethingaboutthatmademevery,veryhappy.
Sheshookherhead.“No.Nooneisgoingtobelievethattwopeoplewhocan’tstandeachotheraretogether.”
“It’sonlyyouwhocan’tstandme,”Ipointedout.“Peoplebelievewhattheywantto.”
Shestood,makingherbarstoolscrapeagainstthefloor.“I’mnotdoingthis.”Shestrodeoutofthekitchen,soIgotuptooandfollowedafterher.
“Adams,comeon,”Itoldher.“I’mhappytoloanyouthemoney.Isitapridething?Noonewillknowbutme,andIwon’teventeaseyouaboutit.”
Sheshotmeanotherwitheringlookassheopenedthedoor.“Idon’tneedyourhelp.”
“You’refriendswiththeNeilsens,right?”FrankNielsenownedthebookstore,andIhadseenAverywithhisdaughter,Hannah,aquiet,soft-spokenwomanaboutAvery’sage.
Shelookedguarded.“Yes.”
“FrankusesaCPAPmachineatnighttobreathe.Themorningafterthelastpoweroutage,hewasn’tfeelingwell.Irememberhimsayinghehadaheadache.”Thiswastrue,Iwastalkingtohiminthehardwarestoreaboutit.“Heprobablyhadaheadachebecausehisbrainwasn’tgettingenoughoxygenthenightbefore.Nexttimethepowergoesout,hecoulddie.”
“Oh,shutup,”shesaid,shakingherhead.“FrankNielsenisn’tgoingtodie.”
Inoddedsolemnly.Yeah,Iwasreachinghere,butshewasputtingupmoreofafightthanexpected.“Frankmightdie,andthenyou’llhavetotellHannahthatitwasyourfault.ButifwedothisandI’melectedmayor,I’mgoingtoupgradetheelectricalgrid,thepoweroutageswillstop,andFrankwilllivealong,happylife.”
“Youaresofullofshit.”Shepointedatmeandnarrowedhereyes.“IknewitfromthedayImovedtotown.Youaresofullofit,andnoonecanseepastitbutme.Iwouldneverdateyou.”
Sheclosedthedoorandthroughthewindowbesidethedoor,Iwatchedherstridedownthelittlepathtothestreet.
Well,thatdidn’tgoasplanned.Irubbedmyjaw.Whywasshebeingsostubborn?Iopenedthedoor.
“Comeon,Adams,”Icalledafterher.“Youknowthere’snootherwayforyoutogettherestaurant.”
Shestoppedinhertracks,andIsmiledatthebackofherheadtwentyfeetaway.Fuckingbingo.Herhandsmadefistsathersides,andIknewshewaspicturingterrible,terriblethingshappeningtome.Maybeonceshegothome,she’dstabneedlesintoavoodoodollofme.
Sheturnedtomeandcrossedherarmsoverherchest.Thecogswereturninginherhead.Shewasrunningthrougheverysinglescenarioshecouldthinkof,anypossibleoptionotherthangivingmewhatIwanted.Finally,herchestroseasshetookadeepbreath.
“I’llfigureitout,”shetoldme,andfireflashedinhereyes.Myeyebrowswentup.Therewassomethinginherexpressionthatturnedmeonalittle,thefierceness,thedetermination.
Huh.That’sinteresting
“Well,whenyoudo,”Itoldher,“I’llbeherewaiting.”
Shewalkedaway,andIpulledoutmyphone.
“Yes?”Divanswered.
“Canceltheactors.Ihaveabetteridea.”5Avery
Thenextmorning,onceIhadglancedaroundthestreetoutsidetherestauranttomakesurenoonewaswatching,IflippedmymiddlefingeratthebillboardofEmmett’sfaceasIpassed.
Istillcouldn’tbelievewhathehadaskedmetodo.Theegoonhimwasunparalleled.Ilaughedoutloudattheideaofuspretendingtobeacouple.IpicturedhimtryingtoputhisarmaroundmyshoulderswhileIgaggedandpulledaway.Asnortescapedme.Ididn’thavetheactingskillstopullthisoff.
EvenifIwaswillingtostepintohisradiusofsickeningcharisma,nooneinthistownwouldbelievethatIwoulddatehim.
Noone.
Inmyoffice,ayellowstickynotesatonmycomputerscreen.CallKeiko!
Mystomachsank.IfElizabethknewaboutmenotbeingabletogetabankloan,Keikoprobablyknew,too.Wasshecallingtotellmeshehadfoundanotherbuyer?Anxietyrippledthroughoutmeattheideaofnotonlylosingtherestaurantbutsomeoneelseowningit.
Emmett’swordsfromlastnightreplayedinmyhead,andmyhandsclenched.Thatguy.Ithoughtabouthimandhisstupid,cocky,knowinggrinfromthesecondIgothomelastnightuntilthemomentIfellasleep.Ihadaterriblesleep,thinkingabouthisstupiddeal.TherewasnowayI’deveragreetoplayhisgirlfriendsohecouldwinanelection.Thethoughtwasrevolting.Noonewouldbelieveus.He’dhavebetterluckconvincingpeoplebyluggingablow-updollaroundtownandnamingitAvery.
Nottomention,wewouldbelyingtotheentiretown.Icouldn’tdoit.
RegardingIsaacAnderson,hehadapoint.Isaacdidn’tseemtodomuchasmayor.Thetownhostedamilliontouristsayearandyettherewasneverenoughmoneyforthingsthetowndesperatelyneeded.Businessownersoftenresortedtocrowdfundingorpayingoutofpockettofixfallentreesneartheirpropertyorcrumblingsidewalks.
HowimmoralwasitforEmmetttolietothetownifhewasdoingitforagoodreason?
No,Itoldmyself.Absolutelynot.IwouldnotempathizewithsomeonelikeEmmettRhodes.Blegh.
Thatstillleftmeatsquareoneregardingtherestaurant.Ipickedupthestickynoteandstudiedit.Maybeitwouldn’tbesobad.
Aspikeofdeterminationhitme,andIlaughedoutloud.Noway.Nofreakingway.Iwasgoingtofigurethisout.Ijustdidn’tknowhowyet,andthat’sexactlywhatIwouldtellKeiko.
Idialedhernumber.
“Hi,sweetie,”sheanswered.
Itookadeepbreath.“Keiko.Hi.I’msureyou’veheardalready—”
“ThatEmmettRhodesisrunningformayor?Iknow.Interesting.”
Ifrowned.“No.Imean,yes,heis,Idon’tknowwhohethinkshe’sfooling,butit’llbeentertainingtowatchhimtry.”
Keikolaughed.“You’llhavetokeepmeupdatedonceI’minVancouver.Iputtheofferinonthetownhomeyesterday,anditwasaccepted.”
Myeyeswidened.“Wow.Youputtheofferinbeforesellingtherestaurant?”
“Therealestateagentputacoupleconditionsinthecontract,‘subjecttopurchaseofexistingassets’,”shetoldme.“So,Iwon’tbeboundtofulfillthecontractunlessIsellmyhousehereandtherestaurant.Standardrealestatestuff.Iputmyhouseupforsaletoday,andIalreadyhavethreeoffers!Canyoubelievethat?”
“Wow,”Irepeated.Thiswasmovingforward,anditwasvery,veryreal.Keikohadn’tmentionedanythingaboutmybankloanrejection.Wasitpossiblethatshehadn’theard?
“Allthat’sleftisforyouandItomeetatthebank,andI’mgoodtogo,”shesaid.
Shedefinitelyhadn’theardaboutmegettingrejected.
“IwasaskingthemaboutitthismorningwhenItransferredthedepositforthetownhouse,”shecontinued.“Thepaperworktosellyouthebusinesswillbesimple.”
“Deposit?Youputmoneydownonthetownhouse?”Mystomachturned,anditwasasifitwasfullofrocks.Iswallowed.
“It’sstandardtoputdownfivepercentofthepurchasepricewhenmakinganoffer.Ifthedealfallsthrough,theownerskeepthedeposit.Thedealalmostneverfallsthrough,though.Everyonewantstogetpaid.Ihavetwomonthstogeteverythinginorder,whichislesstimethanusualbutIwanttogetmovingoneverything.”
Mykneebouncedupanddownandmystomachtwistedagain.WithpurchasepricesinVancouver,fivepercentwasasignificantamountofmoney.Keikowouldlosethatmoneyifshecouldn’tselltherestaurantintwomonths.
Ididn’thavealotoftimetofigurethingsout.
“That’sgreat,”Icroaked.“Sogreat,Keiko.”
“I’mabitbusythisweekwiththetownhouse,butcanwesetupameetingatthebanksometimenextweek?”
“Mhm.Thatsoundsgreat.”Ipicturedwalkingbackintothebankandthemchasingmeout,yellingshoo!Getoutofhere!Wealreadysaidno!
“Wonderful.Talktoyousoon,honey.”
“Bye,Keiko.”Ismiledtightlyandhungupthephonebeforetossingitontomydeskandputtingmyheadinmyhands.
Keikowassellingtherestaurant,andshewassellingitfast.IfIdidn’tfigureoutasolutionsoon,shewouldhavenochoicebuttosellittosomeoneelse.
Emmett’scockygrinflashedintomyhead,andIgroaned.
***
“There’smysweetheart,”Emmettgrinnedasheopenedhisfrontdoorthatevening.
Iscowledathim.
Ihatedthis.I’dbeenhereforsevenseconds,andIhatedit.Ihatedeverythingabouthissmug,annoyingface.Hisknowingexpression,likehetotallyexpectedmetoaccepthisdealandknewI’dcomecrawlingbackbecauseIhadnootheroptions.Ihatedrelyingonsomeoneelse,andIespeciallyhatedrelyingonhimbecauseIgotthesensethathelovedit.
ButIwantedtherestaurant,andIwantedtomakethingsassmoothaspossibleforKeiko.So,Iwasdoingthis.
“Okay,”Ireluctantlyforcedthewordoutofmymouth.
Hiseyebrowswentup.“Okay?”
“Okay.”
Hebeamedatmeandextendedhisarms.“Let’sdoapracticehug.”
IputasidemyrageandfocusedonplottingEmmett’sslow,painfuldeath.“Youcanhugmeinyourmind,”Itoldhim,walkingpasthimintohishome.
“We’regoingtoneedtopracticeaffectionifwewanttosellthis,”hecalledafterme,closingthefrontdoor.
Afewminuteslater,wesatinthelivingroom.Giantwindowsoverlookedtheforestaroundthehouse.Anywhereelse,Iwouldhavewonderediftheroomwouldgettoohotintheearlyeveningsun,basicallybeingagreenhouse,butthetowering,two-hundred-year-oldfirtreeskepttheplaceshadedandcool.Thedecorthroughoutthehousewasmid-centurymodern,alldarkwoods,cleanlines,withtheoccasionalinterestingpaintingorvase,andbigleafyplants.Photosofhisfamilypoppeduponceinawhile.ThewholeplacehadaMadMen-coolvibetoitandIwonderedifhehadchosenthedecorhimself.Probablynot.MenlikeEmmettpaidpeopletodothingslikethis.
“Theelectionisintwomonths,”Emmettinformedme.“Youknowthistown,assoonastheyfindoutthatyouandIaredating,they’regoingtogonuts.”
Hewasright.Somethinglikethiswouldbeallovertown.
“Whendoyouneedthemoney?Icanhavethelawyerdraftupaloancontract,”heasked,pullingouthisphone.
Ishookmyhead.“I’dratheryoucosignonmyloan.”Afterthiswasallover,I’dratherpaythebankdirectlyinsteadofhim.PayinghimwouldfeellikeIwasonthehooklongafterthiswasallover.Thisdealwasalreadyhumiliatingenough,andIwantedtopartwayswithhimassoonasIcould.
Heshruggedandputhisphoneaway.“Sure,that’sfine.”
“AndI’llbethesoleowneroftherestaurant,”Itoldhim.
Hesnorted.“Ihavenodesiretogetintotherestaurantbusiness.It’sallyours,Adams.”
Inodded,andthetensioninmychesteasedalittle.Imaybesellingmysoultothedevil,butatleasthewasagreeingreadilytomyterms.
“Fivepublicappearancesaweek,”Emmettsaid.
Irolledmyeyes.“Publicappearances?Whoareyou,anineteen-year-oldpopstar?”
“Wecancallthemdatesifyouprefer.”Hewinkedatme.
“Onepublicappearancesaweek.”
“We’llsplitthedifference.Twoaweek.”Hedidn’twaitformetoagree.“HowmuchPDAareyoucomfortablewith?”
Inmymind’seye,IpicturedEmmettandIfuriouslymakingoutonaparkbenchliketeenagers.Iwasstraddlinghislap,andhishandswereinmyhair.Iblinkedandshookitoutofmyhead.Thatwouldnotbehappening.
“What?”heasked,frowning.“What’sthatface?”
“Nothing.”Iswallowed.Mycheekswarmed.“Lighthandholding.”
Helaughed.“Lighthandholding?Whatdoesthatevenmean?Howisthatdifferentfromregularhandholding?”
Er,Iwasn’tsure.“Ijustwanttoavoidyourpolitician’sdeathgrip.”
Hegrinnedatme.“Adams,nooneisgoingtobelievethatI’mdatingawomanwhowillonlyallowsome‘lighthandholding’inpublic.”
Isighed.Hewasright.“Okay,publicaffectionisfine,justdon’tbegratuitousaboutit,alright?”
Heraisedaneyebrowatme.“Areyousure?I’mseriousaboutthis,Idon’twanttomakeyouuncomfortable.”
Igavehimaflatlook.“I’llbefine.Ifyoumakemeuncomfortable,I’llletyouknow.”
Heleanedbackinhischair,balancinghisankleonhisknee,regardingme.“There’sonemorething.Ineedapairofyourunderwear.”
Ichokedonmywine,nearlyspittingitoutontoEmmett’scouch.“What?Why?”
Hegrinneddevilishly.“You’llsee.”
Ishookmyhead.“Sopeoplecancatchyousniffingthem?No,thanks.”
Hisdevilishgrinwidened.“Mybrothersarealwaysoveratmyplace.Whatbetterwaytosellthemonusthanthemfindingevidenceofusgettingiton?”
Igagged.“Neversaygettingitonandusinthesamesentenceeveragain.”
Helookedatmeexpectantly.
“Asock,”Irelented.“I’llgiveyouasock.”
Heputhishandsup.“We’llworkourwayuptounderwear.Buythenicestuffinsteadofwhateverthree-packbudgetbrandyouwear.”
Mymouthfellopen.“Idonotwearbudgetunderwear.”
Hismouthhitchedagainandheraisedhiseyebrows,watchingme.“Oh,yeah?Tellmemoreaboutyourunderwear.Thisisgreatpractice.”
Myfaceheated,andItookanotherlongslugofwine.“IsitabadsignthatI’mregrettingthissoearlyon?”
Helaughed.“Eyeontheprize,Adams.You’llgetyourrestaurantsoonenough.”
Hewasright.Therestaurantdealwasasurethingforme,buttherewasnoguaranteeforEmmett.Icockedmyheadathim.
“Whatifyoudon’twin?”
Heleanedonthearmrestofhischair,smilingatme.“Iwill.”
“Ijustwanttomakesurethatifyoudon’twin,becausepeopleseethroughyourextra-schmoozeysmilesandfauxquestionsofconcern,mydealisn’tgoingtofallthrough.”
Heglancedoutthewindow.“I’mgoingtowin.”Heleanedforward,restinghiselbowsonhisknees,andlookedatme.“Andasmygirlfriend,you’regoingtoneedtobelievethatI’mgoingtowin,too,otherwisenooneinthistownwillbuythis.”Hegesturedbackandforthbetweenus.“Butlet’ssaysomemeteorhitsQueen’sCove,wipesouttheentirepopulationexceptfortheAndersons,andIdon’twin.”
Iheldbackagrin.Iwouldnotlaugh,mostlybecauseIdidn’tthinkhewasactuallyjoking.
“You’llstillgetyourrestaurant.”Heshrugged.“Iknowyou’regoodforthemoney.Youhavetoomuchpride.”
Thesunwassetting,andthewarmlightcaughthisgreyeyesandgavehisskinagoldenhourglow.Hewatchedmewithaknowinglook,likehecouldseebeneathmyskin.Thebackofmyneckprickled.Ididn’tlikehownakedIfeltwhenhelookedatmelikethat.
Butatiny,minutefractionofmedidlikeit.IbrushedthatfeelingasideasfastasIcould.
“So,aftertheelection,wetelleveryonewe’vebrokenup,”Itellhim.
Henodded.“Ifiguredwe’dstopgoingondates—”
“Publicappearances,”Icorrected.
“We’dstopgoingonpublicappearances,andthenafteramonthortwo,breakthenewsthatwehadbrokenup.”
“Weshouldtellpeoplethatwe’vebeentogetherforawhileandwantedtokeepitsecret,”Imused.
Hiseyeslitup.“Greatidea.”
“Whataboutdating?”
“That’swhatwe’redoing.”
“No,Imean,datingotherpeople.”Isenthimanemphasizedlook.“Youaren’texactlyknownforbeingcelibate.”
Hebarkedalaughofdisbelief.“Neitherareyou.”
Mybrowsfurrowed.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
AmuscleinEmmett’sjawticked.“Youusuallydatesummerworkers.Elizabethmentionedyouseeingsomeguylastsummer,someguywhoworkedatWyatt’ssurfshop.”Hesurveyedme.Hisgazewastypicallyamusedandeasy-goingbuttherewassomethinghardbeneathitinthismoment.Irritation,maybe.“Seemslikeyoualwaysdatepeoplewhohaveadefineddatetogohome,isthatright?”
Iwasspeechless.Mymouthopenedandclosed,andIlookedaroundtheroom.“Okay,so?I’mnotreallylookingforanythinglongtermand—”Ishrugged.“—I’mahumanandsometimesIneedtogetlaid.”
Theirritationfadedfromhiseyesandagrinspreadacrosshisface.Helookedabsolutelydelighted.Hewaslovingthisconversation.He’dprobablywriteitinhisdiaryandre-readitagainandagain.
“Isthereanythingwrongwiththat?”Iasked,defensive.
“Ofcoursenot.”Hisgazeskimmedovermyformsobriefly,Icouldhaveblinkedandmissedit.“Sexisimportant.”
Myskinheated.“Great.Ithinkifwe’rereallydiscreteandnoonefindsoutaboutit,it’sokayforustodateontheside.”
Heshiftedonthecouchandrestedhisarmupalongthebackofit.Everythingabouthisbodylanguagewasrelaxedexcepthiseyes,whichwerecurrentlynarrowedonme.“No.”
“Excuseme?”Myeyebrowsshotup.
Heshrugged.“Toorisky.”Hewasveryinterestedinsomethingoutthewindow,andkepthisgazegluedthereasherubbedhisjaw.
“Youexpectmetostaycelibate?”
Look,I’ddoneitbefore.OfcourseIhad.Itwasn’tabigdeal.Itwasatwomonths.ButthesecondIwastoldIcouldn’thavesomething,Iwantedit.
Hisgazecuttome.“Didn’tknowyouweresuchahorndog.”Thecornerofhismouthtuggedupbuthisjawwasstilltense.
Istood.“That’smycuetoleave.”
Thatamusedlookwasback.“Adams,I’mhappytoprovideasmanyboyfriendservicesasyouneed.”Hefollowedmeoutofthelivingroomtothefoyer.“Dayornight.”
Ishookmyheadtomyself.Thiswasamistake.Hugemistake.“Don’twaitbythephone.”Iopenedthedoorandsteppedoutsidewithoutanotherlook.
“Avery.”Somethingsoberinhisvoicemademepause,andIturned.Heleanedagainstthedoorframewithathoughtfulexpression.Hiseyeswererimmedinthick,darklashes,andtherewasatinywhitescaronhisupperlip,barelynoticeable.“IonlygointobusinesswithpeopleItrust.”Hewatchedme,crossinghisarmsoverhischest.“CanItrustyou?”
Iletthequestionhangthereintheair.“Idon’tfeelgoodaboutlyingtoeveryone,butifyou’regoingtofixthegridlikeyousayyouwill…”Mywordstrailedoff.“Yeah,youcantrustme.”Ipointedafingerathischest.“CanItrustyou?”
Heflashedmethatwidepolitician’ssmilewithallhiswhiteteeth.“Ofcourseyoucantrustme.”
Irolledmyeyes.“JesusChrist,you’regoingtoneedtodobetterthanthatifyouwanttobemayor.”
HislaughfollowedmeasIwalkeddownthepath,outofhisyard.WhathadIgottenmyselfinto?IhearditinmyheadasImademywayhome.BythetimeIunlockedmydoorandsteppedintomypokeylittlekitchen,Iknewtherewerenootheroptions.Besides,itwasacouplemonths.Icoulddothis.I’dbebusywiththerestaurantandacouplemonthswouldpassfasterthanexpected.
Andattheendofit,I’dhavemyrestaurant.
Ismiledtomyself,brieflyclosingmyeyeswithexcitement.TheArbutuswouldbemine,anditwouldbeinmyhandstocarryonKeiko’sfamilylegacy.Noonecouldtakeitfromme,noonecouldoverridemydecisions,andnoonecouldderailmydream.I’dbeinfullcontrol.ThisridiculousfakedatingthingwithEmmettwasonetinysteppingstonetotherestofmylife,andinfiveyears,Iwouldn’tevenrememberit.6Emmett
Bloodrushedinmyearsandmyfeethitthepath,oneaftertheother.MylungsburnedasIran,andIfocusedonmybreathingandonthemorninglightpeekingthroughthetrees.
Iwasonmymorningrun,andtodaywastougherthannormal.Itypicallyfellasleepbyabouttenatnight,butlastnight,Iwastooexcitedtosleep.Shesaidyes.
Icouldn’tbelieveshesaidyes.
Tobefair,shedidn’thavemuchofachoice.ApangofguiltwrenchedinmychestasIrememberedtheanguishonherfacewhensherealizedthatIwasheronlyoption.Everyoneneededtobehappyfordealstowork,andeventhoughIwasdoingthistowintheelection,Itrulywantedhertowalkawayfeelinglikeshegotwhatshewanted.
Ishruggedmyguiltoff.She’dgetherrestaurant.Iwascosigningonaloanforsomeonewhowaspracticallyastranger.She’dwalkawayhappy,itmightjusttakeafewweeks.
ThelookofrevulsiononherfacewhenIaskedforapairofherunderwearstillmademelaugh,though.
Mywatchbeeped,indicatingmyheartratewasgettingtoolowandthatIneededtopickupthepace.Igroanedandpushedmyselfharder,carryingmyselfthroughtheforestpathstowardsthebeach.
WhenIreachedthesand,sweatpoureddownmyfaceandmyhairwassoaked.Islowedtoawalkandtookaseatonalog,staringattheoceanasthewavescrashedontheshore.Damn,thisplacewasgorgeous.Ishookmyheadandadmiredthebrighteningskywithitssunrisetones.
IunlockedmyphoneandsawIhadamissedcallfromWill.
Mythroattightened.Somethingwaswrong.SomethinghadhappenedwithKara,ormaybeNat.
“Hey,”heansweredwhenIcalledback.
“Iseverythingokay?Whathappened?”
“Everything’sfine,”hetoldme.“Relax.IwasupearlyandjustwantedtosaythatIheardthegoodnews,Mr.Mayor.”
Iexhaledmyreliefandgrinned.“I’mnotmayoryet.”
“Yeah,butyouwillbe.Thattownworshipsthegroundyouwalkon,alwayshas.”
Ithoughtaboutmylowpollnumbers.“How’sthefamilydoing?”
“Good,we’resettinguptheapartmentandunpackingstill.KaramissesherUncleEmmett.”
Iproppedmyelbowonmykneeandleanedmychinonmypalm.“Imissthatkid,too.”MymouthpressedintoalineasIstaredatthewater.“I’mgoingtofixtheelectricalgrid,Will.Itmighttakeacoupleyears,butI’mgoingtodoit.KarashouldgrowuphereinQueen’sCove,whereherfamilyis.Sheshouldgrowupthewaywedid.”
“It’snotsobadhere,”Willsaid,butIcouldtellhewasputtingonabravefaceandtryingtostaypositive.“Ihopeyou’renot—”Hisvoicebrokeoff.
“What?”
“Ihopeyou’renotrunningformayorjustforus.Icouldneveraskyoutodothat.Youhaveabusinesstorun.Youhavealife.Beingmayorisabigcommitment.”
WasIdoingthisforWill?Ofcourse,Iwas.Hewasmybestfriend.He’ddothesameformeinanalternateuniversewherethesituationwasreversed.
ThemoreIthoughtaboutbeingmayor,themoreIcampaigned,createdmyplatform,andspokewithlocals,themoreIwantedit.IwantedtofixQueen’sCove.Itwasn’tjustforWill,itwasforeveryonethatlivedhere.Iwantedthismagnificentplacetoshinethewayitshould.
Will’ssituationwasjustthecatalyst.
“Youguysmovinggavemetheidea,”Iadmitted.“ButIwanttomakethistownwhatitshouldbe.Thebusinessisdoingwell,andItrustmymanagementteam.I’mreadyforanewchallenge.Iwantthis.”
“Well,forwhatit’sworth,Rhodes,Iappreciateit.”Will’svoicewasthick.
“Don’tgetallsappyonme.YoucancrywhenIwin.”
Helaughed.“Asshole.”
Abiggrinpulledacrossmyface.
“Well,Ishouldgetgoing,”hesaid.“Justwantedtosaycongrats.LetmeknowifIcandoanything,okay?Doyouneedhelpwiththewebsite?”
“Nah,myteamhasithandled.Thanks,buddy.Talktoyousoon.”
Wehungup,andIsatthereonthebeach,watchingtheskybecomebrighterasthesunrosehigher,thinkingaboutwhatthenextmonthhadinstoreforme.First,IhadtomakeAveryandmyrelationshipknowntothetown.Therewasafestivalofsomekindstartingtomorrownight.Athrillofexcitementhitmychest,andIgrinned.Iwasn’tarelationshipkindofguy,notlikeWill,butdraggingAveryaroundtownandenduringhereyerollsandirritationwasgoingtobefun.Somethingabouthermademelaugh.
Deepinmymind,alittlespikeofnerveshitme.IhadalwayshadalittlethingforAdams.Shewasfuntoirritate.Itwastooeasy,withher.Thewomanjustdidnotlikeme,notonebit.Shealwaysheldthatwallup.
Now,we’dbespendingtimetogetherandpretendingtobeacouple.Mykneebouncedatthethoughtofit.Itfeltdangerous.
Goodthingitwouldallbefake.Averywouldkeepthatwallupandnothingwouldhappen.Thingswouldstaythesameastheyalwayshad.I’dcarryon,becomemayor,andfixthistown,whileshe’dgetherrestaurant,andbothofuswouldwalkawayhappy.
Imademywayoffthebeach,backintotheforest,andranhomewitharenewedsenseofenergy.7Avery
“Wehavetomakethetownsuspectsomething.”IwasbackatEmmett’splace,standingatthepatiodoorinhislivingroom,lookingoutintotheforestbehindhishouse.Athickcanopyofemeraldgreentoweredoverthesmallbackyard.Twobluejayszippedinandoutofatree.Myeyesnarrowed.“WeneedtogettheQueen’sCoverumourmillgoing.”
Overonthecouch,hecockedaneyebrowatme.“Nothingstayssecretinthistown.Whatareyouthinking?”
“PhoneRicci’sPizzaandorderamediumpizzawithdairy-freecheese,pear,andarugula.Makesureyouspecifynomushrooms.”
Hewinced.“That’syourorder?What’swrongwithyou?”
Igavehimaknowinglook.“That’sexactlywhatMateosayseverytimeIorderit.HetellsmethatI’minsultinghisfamily’sItalianheritagewiththatpizza.Also,orderitaftermidnight.IalwayscallwhenI’monmywayhomefromtherestaurant.”
Henoteddownmyorderbeforereachingintohiswallet.Hefishedoutalittlepaperticket.“Mydrycleaningshouldbereadytomorrow.”
Ichokedindisbelief.“You’rekidding.”
“What?”
“I’mnotpickingupyourdrycleaning.”
“That’swhatgirlfriendsdo.”
Ohmygod,thisman.“Maybeinthefifties.”
“Ithoughtyouweresupposedtobedutiful.”Asmuggrinpulledathismouth.
Isnorted.“Youpickedthewronggirlforthat.”Itappedmychinwithmyfinger,thinking.“HowaboutIpickupyourcampaignsignageatthepostoffice.”
Theprintshopforourlittletowndoubledasthepostoffice.
Iwalkedoverandleanedagainstthebackofthecouch.“There’salwaysalineupatlunchwheneveryoneisontheirbreak.I’llgothenandeveryonewillseemerunninganerrandforyou.”
Thisseemedtosatisfyhim.“Perfect.We’llgiveitafewdays,andthenFriday,we’llwalkthroughthetownfairtogether.”
Right.Thetownfair,wherethisbizarrerusewouldbegin.Iwasdreadingit.Allthoseeyes,watchingandwhisperingaboutusmademystomachchurn,buttherewasnootherwaytogetmyrestaurantthantodiveintothis,head-first.
Inodded,takingadeepbreath.“Friday.”
***
“Stopjerkingyourhandaway,”Emmettwhispered.“We’resupposedtobeinlove.”
Icouldfeeltheeyeswatchingus,lingeringonourbacksaswewanderedthroughthevendorbooths.Thisyear’sfairthemewasmushrooms.
Yeah,mushrooms.
Thefairhappenedtwiceayear,sometimesthreetimesifthetown’sFairPlanningBoardfeltlikeit.Thethemeusuallyrevolvedaroundfood(apples,pumpkins,cherries,peaches),andsometimesholidays(Halloween,Christmas,Valentine’sDay).
Iregardedthetrayofstuffedmushroomsataboothrunbyalocalcatererandbitbackmyrevoltedexpression.TheFairPlanningBoardmusthaverunoutofideas.
Ifreakinghatedmushrooms.
Emmettslippedhishandintomineagain,andIfoughttheurgetoyankitaway.Wehadagreedondoingonequickloopofthefair,justtobeseen,andthenIcouldgohome.Itriedtorelaxmyhand.
“Thereyougo.”Hegrinnedatme.“Justlikethat.”
Deepbreaths,Itoldmyselfasirritationspikedonthebackofmyneck.
“Emmett.”Awomanappearedinfrontofus,eyesgluedtoourlockedhands,andabiggrinonherface.Hereyesglowedwithexcitement,dartingbetweenourhands,myself,andEmmett.
“Hey,Miri.”Heturnedtome.“Avery,doyouknowMiri?”
Inoddedandsmiledather.“Hi,there.”
MiriYangwasinherearlyfortiesandwasateacheratthehighschoolaswellasanavidvolunteeraroundtown.Thewomanwasasocialbutterfly,constantlymeetingfriendsforlunchesandhelpingwithtownevents.Shewasalwaysinacheerfulmood,consistentlypolite,andtippedmystaffwell.Thatwasgoodenoughinmybooks.
Myhandtwitched,butEmmettheldfirm.
Miri’sgazereturnedtowheremyhandconnectedwithEmmett’s.“Oh,yes,IseeAveryallthetimeatTheArbutus.”
“How’sScottdoing?”Emmettasked.
Shedraggedhergazeupagaintohis.“He’sgood.Youknowhim,healwayswantstokeepeveryonehappy,butit’simpossible.”Sheshruggedandshookherhead.“Hejusthassuchagoodheart.”Hereyesflickedbacktoourhands.“So,therumorsaretrue.”
Emmettsqueezedmyhand,andIignoredit.
“Rumors?”Hisvoicewasinnocent.“Whatrumors?”
Miri’sgazesnappedup,andshesmiledbrightly.“Thatyoutwoweretogether.Ididn’tbelieveit.”
Ipressedmylipstogether,hidingagrin.IlikedMirimorebythesecond.
“Believeit.”Emmettletmyhandgoandwrappedanarmaroundmyshoulder.“Ifinallyconvincedthisonetogopublic.”
Ijuststoodthere.
“Right,honey?”Emmettdroppedhisheadtocatchmygaze.
InoddedatMiri.“We’resoinlove.”Mytonesoundedflat.
Sheclappedandclaspedherhandstogether.“Iknewit.”
Don’tlaugh,Itoldmyself.You’llblowthiswholething
“Weneedtogetdinnertogether.”Miripulledoutherphoneandflippedthroughhercalendar.“Scottwillbesohappytohearyou’resettlingdown,Emmett.”
“Absolutely.”Hepulledouthisphoneaswell.“Sunday?”
Miri’seyeslitup.“Sundayitis!”
“Great.Seeyouthen.”
Miritwiddledherfingersatusassheleft,andEmmettturnedtome.“We’resoinlove?”Herepeatedmywordsfromearlier.“Canyousoundmoreconvincing?”
Mymouthdroppedopen.“Whataboutyou?Honey?”
Therewaschallengeinhiseyes.“Miriateitrightup.”
Hehadmethere.Iglancedoverhisfaceandnoticedatinywhitescaronhistoplip.
“Let’skeepwalking.”Hegrabbedmyhandagainandpulledmetowardabooth.“Weneedtocirculate.”
IletEmmettleadmethroughthefairwhilehishandgraspedmine.Itcouldhavebeenworse.Hishandcouldhavebeensweaty.Itwasn’t,though.Hishandswerebigandwarm,andIfitintothemperfectly.Itwasalmostcomfortable.Iwasalmosthavinganokaytime.
Someonegasped.
Almost.
“Iknewit.”Mateo,thepizzashopowner,shookhisheadatus.“Ifriggin’knewit.Thesecondyoucalledinthatorder,Emmett,Itoldmyguys,thosetwoaresneakingaround.”Heshookhisheadatus.“Ifriggin’knewit.”
Hiswife,Farrah,beamedatus.“Ihopeditwastrue.”Shesqueezedaplushtoytoherchest.“Howsweet.I’msohappyforyoutwo.”
“Thanks,Farrah.”Emmettreturnedhersmile.“Nicetoy.”
ShebeamedagainandnudgedMateo.“Myhusbandwonitforme.”
Andthatwashowweendedupatthedartsbooth.
“Weagreedononeloopofthefair.”Igavehimaflatlook.
“Thisiswhatpeopleinarelationshipwoulddo.”Emmettpulledatwentyoutofhispocketbeforeheexchangeditforahandfulofdarts.“I’mgoingtowinyouadumblittletoy,andyou’regoingtocarrythatthingaroundallnight.”
Iscoffed.“Wow,machomuch?Thecavemen’sstickhityouextrahard.”
Helookedaroundtomakesurenoonewouldoverhearus.Heworealittlegrinonhisfacewhenheleanedin,andIgotaclearviewofhislightgreyeyes,filledwithhumor.Thelittlescaronhislipquirked.“Dutiful,”heremindedme.
Thatwasit.Iyankedmywalletoutofmybag.
“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Youwanttowinsomethingforme?”Ipulledabilloutofmywalletandhandedittotheteenagerbehindthebooth.“I’mgoingtowinsomethingforyou.Andyoualsohavetocarryitaroundallnight.”
Ihadneverplayeddartsinmylife,butsomethingaboutEmmettgottome.Maybeitwasthatsmugexpression.Ormaybeitwasthatlittlescaronhislipthatkeptcapturingmyattention.
Theteenagerhandedmesomedarts,andIgesturedatEmmett.“Areweonorwhat?”
Abiggrinspreadoverhisface.“Absolutely.WhateverIwinforyou,youhavetocartaroundallnight.”
Inodded.“AndifIwinthatenormousmushroom—”Ipointedatthemassivestuffedtoyhangingfromtheroofwiththerestofthetoys.Itmusthavebeenbiggerthanme.“—youhavetocarryitaroundallnight.”
“Great.”Hiseyesshonewithcompetitionandchallenge.
“Wonderful.”Igavehimmymostconfidentsmile.
“Ladiesfirst.”
IpositionedmyfeetinawaythatfeltrightandclosedoneeyeasIthrewmyfirstdartattheboard.
Itbouncedoff.
Shit.
“Don’tworryaboutit,Adams.”Emmettaimedforhisownboard.“Thefirstone’sjusttoloosenyouup.”Hethrewthedartandhitthebull’seye.Mymouthfellopen,butIcloseditasEmmettshotasatisfiedgrinoverhisshoulderatme.“Yourturn.”
Iswallowed.
“So,”heaskedtheteenager,“ifIhitthreebull’seyes,IcanpickwhatevertoyIwant?”
Theteenagershrugged.“Yep.Anything.”
Emmettpointedatamushroomtoywithabigholeinit.“Eventhathat?”
Ohmygod.Astranglednoisecameoutofmythroat.Itwasamushroomhat.Ohmygod.No.Icouldfeelmyselfgrimacing.Wearingthatwouldbecompletehumiliation.
Theteenagernodded.“Sure,butnooneeverwantsthatone.”
“Iwonderwhy.”MygazeboredintoEmmett,buthethrewmeawinninggrin.
“Goahead,Adams.You’reup.”
Behindus,agroupofpeopleformedtowatch.Itookasteadyingbreathandthrewthedart.Ithittheboardneartheedge.
Better,butnotgoodenough.
Emmettwhistled.“Close.”
“Shutup.”
Heaimedhisdartandtosseditlikeitwasnothing.Ithitthebull’seye,andthecrowdapplaudedbehindus.Icouldfeelmymoodsouringbutwouldn’tgiveEmmettthesatisfactionofit.Irolledmyshoulders.
Emmettthrewitsoeasily,socasually.Ijusthadtothrowitlikehedid.IshookoutmyarmbeforeIletthedartfly.
Itnearlyhittheteenager’sshoulder,buthejumpedoutoftheway.“Hey!”
“Sorry.”Iwinced.Thereweremurmursinthecrowdbehindus,andmorepeoplestoppedbytoseewhatthefusswasabout.
Emmettshookhishead.“Adams,youpunchaboveyourweight,andIlikethat.”Hethrewthedartandagain,itconnectedwiththebull’seye.
Thecrowdbehinduserupted,andIrolledmyeyes.
HelookedlikeakidonChristmas.“Onemushroomhat,please.”Delightdrippedoffhistone.
TheteenagerpulledthestupidthingdownandhandedittoEmmett.Heshookitouttofluffitupandtookasteptowardsme.Itwasredandbrownandwhite,allpoofy.Itwashorrifying.Thiswasthestuffofnightmares.
Itookastepawayfromhim.“No.”
Hisgrinwidened.“Adams,Ithoughtyouwereawomanofyourword.”
“Iam.”Ilookedbetweenhimandthehat.
“PutthehatonsoIcantakeapicture,andthenI’llgogetussomemushroomicecream.”
Imadeaface.
“Wecanleaveassoonasyouputthehaton.”
Isighedandgrabbeditoutofmyhand.ThesecondIyankeditontomyhead,Iregrettedit.
“Avery,don’tyoulookadorable!”Miritrilled,herphoneinfrontofherasshesnappedpictures.“ThisisgoingtogostraightontheQueen’sCoveblog.”
“Iwillmakeyoupayforthis,”ImurmuredtoEmmettashewrappedanarmaroundme,posingforMiri’spicture.Iglaredathercamera.
“Ilookforwardtoit,Adams.”8Emmett
“Avery,itwassonicerunningintoyouatthefair,”Miritoldher.“IhardlyseeyououtsideTheArbutus.”
Thefourofus—myself,Avery,Scott,andMiriYang—wereoutfordinnerSundaynightatBob’sBarbeque.ScottYangwastheheadofthelocaltradeunion.HoldenandIhadknowntheguysincewestartedourcompanyandalwaystookhimandMirioutforanicedinneraroundChristmastime.Hewasaniceguytoworkwith,neverlosthistemper,andwaspunctual.OntherareoccasionthattherewasadisputewithanyofthetradesguysregardingRhodesConstruction,hebroughtittousimmediatelyandwasstraightwithus.Hewasfair,alwayswillingtosharetheresponsibility,andhewaswellrespectedbythecouplehundredmembersoftheunion—whichiswhyIneededtosecurehisendorsementintheelection.
Miriwasnoslouchintheinfluencedepartment,either.Shekneweveryoneandwaslikedbyall.Shewasalsoextremelytalkativeandeffusive,andifwenailedthistonight,she’dbeamajoradvocateofthevalidityofourrelationship.
“Therestaurantkeepsmebusy,butIloveit.”AveryglancedbetweenMiriandthemenu.“Ifeellikeit’smybabythatI’mleavingwithababysitterforthefirsttime.”
Mirilaughed.“I’vebeentheremanytimes,andyouhavethatplacerunninglikeanavyship.”
“Oh,Idon’tknowaboutthat.”Averysmiledintohermenu,clearlypleased
“It’strue.”Scottnoddedather.“MaybeI’llsendyousomeofmyyoungertradesguys,youcanscarethemstraight.”
Avery’sexpressionturneddevious,andwealllaughed.
Iwatchedher.Shewasafuckingnatural.Ishouldhaveknown.
Andme?Iwasafuckinggenius.NeveragainwouldIbringHoldenalongtooneofthesedinners.Ilovedmybrother,buttheguywasaterribleconversationalist.Therewasnosmalltalkwiththatguy,nopolitequestions,noinquiringabouthowsomeone’sworkwasgoing.Healwaysjustsatthere,atehisfood,andlistenedwhileIchattedawaywithwhoeverwewereeatingwith.
Butnow?Iwasnevertakinganotherclientorpotentialendorsementoutfordinneragainwithoutherbymyside.
MygazesnaggedonAvery’snecklineandthesmoothskinofhercollarbone.Shehadnaileditinthe“lookingsharp”department,withawhitesilkt-shirt,blackjeans,andblacksuedeheels.Iwasnowomen’sfashionexpert,butshehaddressedniceenoughtoshowrespecttoourdinnerguestsbutnotsooverthetopthatitmadeMiriuncomfortable.Thejeansfitherperfectly,andIcouldn’thelpbutnoticehowgreatherasslookedwhenIpickedherup.
“Thatisagorgeousnecklace,”Mirinoticed,andAvery’shandcametotheold-lookingsilverpendanthangingaroundherneck.
Averynoddedwithenthusiasm.“Oh,thankyou,it’svintage,”shetoldMiri.“Ifthere’severanythingyou’relookingfor,letmeknow.Iknowallthegoodvintagesites,andIhaveafewfriendsinVictoriawhogivemeaheads-upwhentheygetnewstockin.”
Miri’seyeslitup.“Thatwouldbeamazing.”
Iwasagoddamngenius.WhoknewAverycouldbesolikeable?Notme.Shewasfriendly,sweet,MiriandScottalreadylikedher,sheaskedalltherightquestionsandlaughedinalltherightpartsofthestory.Isthiswhatitfeltliketonothavetocarrytheconversation?Igrinnedtomyself.IsaacAnderson,I’mcomingforyou,Ithought.
“Well,Avery,”Scottsaid,interruptingmybarrageofself-congratulations.“You’vegotagoodonehere.Emmettisagoodman.”Henoddedatme.“Workshardtomakesurehisemployeesarehappyandalwaysdoestherightthing.”
Sheraisedaneyebrowatmeindisbelief.“Oh,doeshe?”
Inoddedatherwithalookthatsaidplayalong.“Yep.I’magoodguy,Avery.”Thesideofmymouthhitched.“That’swhyyou’redatingme,right?”Igaveherawink,justtopushherboundariesalittle
Ithoughtaboutthewayshelookedinthatmushroomhatandnearlyburstoutlaughing.Okay,maybeIwasn’tagoodguy,butitwasworthittoseeherwearingthathilarioushat.
Shewatchedmeforabeatwitheyesnarrowedbutasmallsmileonherlips.“Exactly.That’sexactlywhyI’mdatingyou.”
“Apartnerisagreatthing,Emmett.”ScottputhisarmaroundMiriandshelookedupathiminadoration.“Elevenyearsin,andIcan’timaginemylifewithoutMiri.”
Inoddedandsmiledatthem.“That’ssweet.”
MirinudgedScott.“Hehadtoconvinceme,butbestdecisionIevermade.”
Avery’smouthtwisted.“Oh,therewassomeconvincingonEmmett’spart.”
Scottleanedforward.“Ihavetosay,Iwassurprisedtohearaboutyoutwo.Emmet,youneverseemedlikeyouwantedtosettledown.”HelookedatAvery.“Untilnow,ofcourse.”
Istilldidn’twanttosettledown.Theideaofawifeandfamilyturnedmystomach.ItwasgreatforWill.Willalwayswantedafamily.Butme?Ilikedbeingalone.
ButScottdidn’tknowthat.
“WhatcanIsay?”IreachedoutandgrabbedAvery’shandonherlap.“Ifoundmysoulmate.”Isqueezedherhand,andshereturnedmysqueezewithadeathgrip.Igrinnedather.Shedidnotlikethatsoulmatecomment.“Right,honey?”
“Right,darling,”Averyrepliedthroughgrittedteeth.
“You’resoinlove,”Mirisighedwistfully.
Averynoddedwithpressedlips.“Mhm.We’resoinlove.”
ScottlookedatAvery.“Avery,you’refromVancouver,right?”
“Yep,movedhereaboutfiveyearsago.”
“Doyourparentslivethere?”Mirileanedforwardandrestedherchinonherpalm.“Aretheystilltogether?”
“Theystilllivethere,buttheydivorcedyearsago.”
Mirigaveherasympatheticlook.“Aw,I’msorrytohearthat.”
Averyshookherheadadamantly.“Don’tbe,gettingdivorcedwasthebestchoicetheyevermade.”
Huh.Interesting.IhadneverreallythoughtaboutAvery’sfamilybefore,butnowmycuriositywaspiqued.Maybethishadsomethingtodowithherneverhavinganythinglong-term,relationship-wise,intown.Iwatchedherforamoment.
“IhaveapitcherofBob’sMargaritas,”theserversaidassheplaceditonthetable.
Averygavetheserveragratefullook.“Thankyou.”Shepouredoutfourglasses.
Miriclaspedherhandstogetherwithexcitedeyes.“Tellusthestoryofhowyougottogether.”
AveryandIlookedateachotherwithuncertainty.Wehadn’tcoveredthiswhenwehashedoutthedetails.
“Well,”Averystarted,clearlyatalossforwords.
Isaidthefirstthingthatcametomind.“Shewassurfing.”
Sheblinkedatme,andIheldbackalaugh.Iwouldbetmyyearlysalaryshehadneverbeenonasurfboardinherlife,despiteitbeingoneofQueen’sCove’smajortouristattractions.
Shenodded,holdingapleasantexpressionbutboringintomewithhereyes.I’dpaydearlyforthislater.“Exactly.Iwassurfing.”
IturnedtoMiriandScott.“IwaswithmybrotherWyattathissurfshack,andwenoticedthewindpickingup.”
Scott’sheadwastiltedininterest,andMirinoddedwithwideeyes,leaningforward,hangingontoeveryword.ShelookedtoAvery.“Wereyoualoneoutontheocean?”
IputahandonAvery’supperback,wincingandnodding.“Shewas.Classicbeginnermistake.”Undermyhand,hershouldermusclestensed.“Wyattwasbusywithcustomers,soIgrabbedaboardandranouttheretomakesureshewasokay.”
Scottnoddedwithapproval.“Goodman.”
“That’ssosweet,”Miricooed.“Ihopeyouputawetsuiton,thatwaterissocold.”
Ishookmyheadatthemwithawhatchagonnadoexpression.“Therewasnotime,andIhadtomakesureshewasokay.”
Averymadeachokingnoiseinherthroat,andIturnedtoher,rubbingherback.“Areyouokay,sweetheart?”
Thelookshegavemecouldhaveburnedmycorneasoff.“I’mgreat,honey.Sogreat,”shemanaged.Shetensedhershouldermusclesagain,andIknewthiswasherwayofsayinggetyourfuckinghandsoffme
“Anyways,”Isaid,turningbacktoMiriandScott,leavingmyhandonherback.“Igotoutonthewater,anditwasreallychoppy.Thewindwaspickingup,theswellsweregettingbiggerandthereweresomegnarlywavescomingin,asWyattwouldsay.”
Mirichewedherlip,andScottfrownedwithconcern.
IleanedintowardsMiri.“IspottedAveryjustasawaveknockedheroffherboard.”
Averydroppedherheadintoherhandinexasperation.
“Oh,no,”Miribreathed.Shewasleaningsofartowardsmethatshewaspracticallylyingonthetable.
Inoddedather.“Oh,yeah.IpaddledoverasfastasIcouldonmyboard.Averywasnowheretobefound.”Ishookmyhead.“Isawherboardfloating,butshewasn’tthere.Atthispoint,Iwassoscared.Thetiestraparoundheranklemusthavecomeloosewhenthewaveknockedheroff.Ihadtofindher.”
“Wherewasshe?”Miriurged.
“Iwasheartbroken,thinkingshehaddrowned.Justthen,shesurfacedbesidemyboard,gaspingforair,”Itoldthem.
“Thankgod,”Scottsaid,shakinghishead.
“Shelookedupatme,coughingandgaggingupwater—”
“Okay,”Averyinterrupted,finallyhavingenough,butIcutheroff.
“Shegrabbedmyboardandsaid—”
Miri’seyeswerebuggingoutofherhead.“What?Whatdidshesay?”
“Shesaid,‘Isthatyou,HenryCavill?’”
Outofthecornerofmyeye,Averyturnedtostareatmedeadon.Ididn’tdarelookather.Iwouldeitherstartlaughingandneverstop,orimmediatelyburstintoflamesfromtheintensityofhergaze.
Itookadeepbreathandletitout,rubbingmyhandonherbackagain,stillnotlookingather.“Andthat’swhenIknewIwasinlovewithher.”
Miripressedherlipstogetherandclaspedherhandsoverhernecklace.“Youaresobrave.Whatastory!Isn’tthatanincrediblestory,Scott?”
Scottshookhisheadinamazement.“Itsureis.”Heheldupthemargaritainfrontofhim.“Let’sdoatoast.Tolove.”
“Tolove,”MiriandIchorusedafterhim.
Besideme,Averychuggedherdrinkuntilonlytheiceremained.
Thefoodarrived,andbetweenAveryandI,wemanagedtosteertheconversationawayfromusandtothetown,andeventually,thepoweroutages.
Scottshookhishead.“It’stoughontheolderfolkswhenthepowergoesout,especiallyinthewinterwhenit’sdampandcoldashell.”
Inodded.“Exactly.It’sreallydisruptive,andIthinkalotofpeopleintownhavejustgottenusedtoitandacceptedit.”Isatback.“Anytimediscussionaboutupgradeswouldcomeupattownhallmeetings,they’reshruggedoffastooexpensive,toomuchwork.”Isqueezedmynapkininmyhand,frowning.“Thatdoesn’tfeelgoodenoughtome,soI’mdoingsomethingaboutit.”Scottwaslisteningintently,andIcouldseethathewastryingtostayneutral.“Iknowyou’reinapositionwhereyoufeelthatyoucan’tgetinvolvedwiththeelection,andI’mnotaskingyouto.Idon’tknowyourrelationshipwithIsaac.AllIknowisthatanyworkonourelectricalgridwillbeusingyourtradespeople.Thesewon’tbeshortemploymentstintswherethey’rebacklookingforworkinacoupleweeks.Someofthisworkwilltakeyears.”
Scottnoddedandlookedathisplate,thinking.
Mirishrugged.“I’mnotheadoftheunion,andIcandowhateverIwant.I’mvotingforyou,Emmett.”
Igavehermymostwinningsmile.“Miri,Idoadoreyou,Ihopeyouknowthat.”
Shegrinnedandblushed.
“You’rerightthatit’susuallyrecommendedthatIdon’tgetinvolvedinlocalpolitics,”Scottsaid,crossinghisarmsoverhischest.
Iraisedmyhandsinsurrender.“That’sfine,andhoweveryouvote,itwon’taffectourfriendshiporworkingrelationship.RhodesConstructioniscommittedtousinghigh-qualitylaborthroughyourunion,regardlessoftheoutcomeoftheelection.”
Scottshiftedinhischair.“Iusuallyabidebythatrecommendation,butyou’reright.”Heshookhisheadatallofus.“I’msickoftheseproblems.Itellourguyseverymorning,seeaproblem,fixaproblem.It’sirresponsibletojustsitbyandwatchthishappentoourtownandnotdoanythingaboutit.”HelookedbetweenAveryandme.“Iusedtothinkyouwerejustouttohavefunandmakesomecash,butI’vealwaysthoughtAveryhasagoodheadonhershoulders,soifyou’regoodenoughforher—”Hereachedacrossthetabletoshakemyhand.“Emmett,you’vegotmyvote.”
Prideswelledinmychest,andItriedtostaycalm.Thiswasbig.Thiswasanenormouswinformeandthecampaign.Winningtheelectionwasonestepcloser
IacceptedScott’scrushinghandshakewithmymostmodest,bashfulsmile.“Scott,youhavenoideahowmuchIappreciatethat.Ireallylookuptoyou,howyoumanageyourguysandhowtheyrespectyou.IhopeIcanmakeyouproudasmayor.”
“Ibetyouwill.”TheserverstartedclearingourplatesandScottlookedaroundthetable.“Howaboutdesserttocelebratethehappycouple?”
“Thatwouldbegreat.Sweetheart,wouldyouliketosplitsomecheesecake?”IaskedAvery.Splittingdessert,whatcouldbemoreromanticthanthat?
Sheshookherhead.“I’mlactoseintolerant.”
“What?”Iblanched.“That’sawful.”Irememberedthatherfavoritepizzahaddairy-freecheeseonit,andnowitmadesense.
Mirisentmeachastisinglook.“Emmett,youneedtorememberthingslikethis.Yousoundlikeyouhardlyknowher.”Shelaughed.“Imaginethat.”
Averycockedherheadatme,alittlegrinformingonherprettymouth.“Yeah,Emmett,it’slikeI’matotalstrangertoyou.”
Iraisedmyeyebrowsatherinchallenge.Didsheforgethoweasyitwastoembarrassher?Ididitearlierwiththatstupidsurfingstory,andI’ddoitagain.AndI’denjoyeverysecondofitasshegotembarrassedandtriedtodisappearintothefloor.
“Quick,”Miriclappedherhands.“Let’splayagame.”
Ourheadswhippedtowardsher.“Whatgame?”AveryandIaskedinunison,bothwithaheavydoseofsuspicion.
“Thenewlywedsgame.It’seasyandsofun.I’llaskyouquestionsabouteachother,andyouwritedowntheanswers.”Sheflaggeddownaserverforsomepaperandacouplepens.
Ihadabadfeelingaboutthis.Wedidn’tthinktherewasgoingtobeatest,forChrist’ssake.
Averyexhaledslowlyoutofhernose.“Soundssuperfun.”
“Okay,”MirisaidonceAveryandIhadthepaperinfrontofus,wigglinghereyebrows.“Nameeachother’sbirthday.”
AveryandIsatthereinsilence,staringatourpapers.
“February…”Iwinced.“…fourteenth?”
Shesnorted.“That’sValentine’sDay.”
“You’resupposedtowriteitdown,”Miriremindedus.
“Itcanbeboth,”Isaiddefensively.“PeoplearebornonValentine’sday.Andyoudon’tknowmybirthday.It’sJanuary27th.”
“Iwasjustabouttosaythat.”
“Right.Andwhenisyours?”
Miriclearedherthroat.“Youdon’tneedtosayit,youwriteitdown,andI’llreadtheanswers.”
“September12th.”
Ipointedather.“Thatwasmysecondchoice.”
WeturnedbacktoMiriandScott,whowerewatchinguswithhesitation.
“Nextquestion,”Averydemanded,hervoiceheavywithcompetition.
“Thisisjustsupposedtobeasilly,fungame,”Mirisaid,laughing.“Wedon’tneedto—”
“Nextquestion,Miri,”Itoldher.
Hereyeswidenedafraction.“Favoritemovie.”
InarrowedmyeyesatAvery,sizingherup.“SomethingwithAudreyHepburn.What’sthatonewhereshegoestoFrance?”
Herheadwhippedtowardme,andsheregardedmewithsuspicion.“FunnyFace.Howdidyouknowthat?”
Ishrugged.“YoukindoflooklikeAudreyHepburn,andItookawildguess.”
Mirisquealedandclapped,andasmugsmilesettledonmyface.IgaveAveryanarchlook.“Tooeasy.What’smine?”
Hermouthtwistedbrieflyasshethought.“TopGun.”
Mymouthfellopen.“What?Howdidyouknowthat?”
Miriwaspracticallyhyperventilating.
“Breathe,”Scottmurmuredtoher,puttingaglassofwaterinfrontofher.
Averylaughedandwavedherhandinmygeneraldirection.“YoujustseemlikeaTopGunkindofguy.”
Iwasspeechless.MybrothersandIwatchedthatmoviecountlesstimesgrowingup.Ishookmyhead.
“Ooooh,thisisgettinggood!”Miribeamedatus,claspingherhandstogether.
Atleastweweregettingsomeofthequestionsrightnow,insteadoflookinglikeapairofpeoplewhoonlyagreedtogettogetherbasedonstrategy.
“Favoriteanimal,”Miriprompted,leaningforward.
“Hamster,”Ishot,sayingthefirstthingthatcametomind.
Averygrimaced.“Noone’sfavoriteanimalisahamster.Alltheydoissleepandpoop.Myfavoriteanimalisadog.”
“Everyonelikesdogs,”Iadded,rollingmyeyes.Theonlypeoplewhodidn’tlikedogsweresociopaths.
“Unlessthey’reasociopath,”sheadded.
Ifrowned.
“Avery,what’sEmmett’sfavoriteanimal?”Miriasked.Shehadlostabitofherenthusiasm.
Shit.Weneededtosavethis.WhateveranimalAverysaid,I’dagreeto.Averywaswatchingmewithafunnyexpressiononherface.Hereyeswerenarrowed,andthecornerofhermouthtwitchedup.
“Turtles.”Sheleveledmewithhergaze.“Emmett’sfavoriteanimalistheturtle.”
Mystomachdropped.Sheknew.Howdidsheknow?
Miri’smouthdroppedinshock.“Isthattrue?”
Inodded,suppressingagrimace.Ifuckinghatedturtles.Inmymind,Iheardthecrunchofmychildhoodfriend’sturtleshellasIaccidentallyrodeoveritwithmybike,andmystomachchurned.
Inearlygaggedthinkingaboutit.I’dnevertouchedone,buttheyweresoslimyandgrosslooking.Theirheadswereallwrinklyandgooey,likeadecayingthumb.
Mystomachchurchedagain.Iwasgoingtobesick.IswallowedandfocusedonMiri.
“Iloveturtles,”Itoldher.“Lovethem.Can’tgetenoughofthem.”Aslongastheystayedfaraway.
Mirireachedoutandslappedmyarmlightlywithachidinglook.“Howcomeyou’venevervisitedmyturtlerehabilitationcenter?”
Iblinkedather.Besideme,Avery’schestconvulsedoncebeforesheproppedherelbowonthetableandhidhermouthwithherhand.
“I’msorry,”Averymanaged.“Yourwhat?”
Miribeamedather.“Irunaturtlerehabilitationcenter.”
Scottputhisarmaroundherandgazedatherwithaffection.“Theyrescueturtleswhohavebeenhurtbyboatsintheharbor,nursethembacktohealth,andthenreleasethemintothewild.Theyalsotakepetturtles.”
“Emmett,”Mirisaid,“youhavegottovolunteerwithus.Ohmygod,youwouldloveit.Yougettoholdtheturtles,washtheturtles,feedthem,playwiththem,tellthemallyoursecrets.”
Shesaiditlikethoseweregoodthings.
“WouldIhavetotouchthem?”Iasked.
Shethrewherhandsintheairwithjoy.“Ofcourseyouwouldgettotouchthem.Turtlesproduceoxytocin,thecuddlehormone,justlikepeopledo.Wealwaysneedvolunteerstohelpattherehabcenter.It’sjustlikethoseprogramsatthehospitalswherepeopleholdnewbornbabies.”
“Exceptpeoplecuddleturtles?”Averyasked.
Mirilitup.“Exactly!Yougetit.Somepeopledon’tgetit.”
Ipicturedmyselfholdingaturtle.Myskinfelthotandcold,likewhenIhadtheflulastyear.
Scottgavemeasidelonglook.“Itwouldbegreatcampaignpress.”
Averynoddedatme,barelycontainingherself.Shewasvibrating,shewassoexcited.Therewasaflashofsomethinginhereyes,andIrememberedherhissedwordsfromFridayfrombeneaththemushroomhat.
Iwillmakeyoupayforthis.Revenge,thynameisAvery.
Hereyesdancedovermyface.“Itreallywould,Emmett,anditwouldbegreatforyoutotakeabreakanddosomethingyoulove—touchturtles.”
Miriwasradiatingwithexcitement.“Cometouchturtleswithme,wouldn’tyou?”
Therewasnogettingoutofthisone,notatthismomentatleast.
“Iwouldbehonoredto,”ItoldMiri,“andAverywouldtoo.”
“What?”Averyblanched.“I’mbusythatday.”
Mirishookherhead,stillsmiling.“Wehaven’tsetadateyet.”
WedidsetadateforthefollowingweekforAveryandItodropbyandhelpoutatthedisgustingturtlerehab.WhileMiriandAverytalkedmoreaboutMiri’svolunteerorganizationsaroundtown,andScotttoldmeabouttherenovationshewasdoingontheirkitchen,ImadeamentalnotetoaskDivtoscheduleconflictingmeetingsthatdaythatIcouldn’tpossiblygetoutof.Averywouldbestuckholdingtheslimycreaturesallbyherself.Servedherright.
Iglancedoverather,smilingandlisteningattentively.Herfingerstoyedwithhernecklace,andhereyessparkledinthelightasMiritalked.
Ihadtoadmit,asIsatthere,watchingher,thatshewastheperfectpersontobemyfakegirlfriend,notjustbecauseofherpeopleskillsandanequaldesireonherparttomakeitlookreal,butbecauseshewasactuallyverybeautiful.IknewwhatIlookedlike,andthetwoofustogether?Peoplewouldwatchuswalkby,myarmdrapedcasuallyoverhershoulders,andthey’dcommentonwhatbeautifulkidswe’dmake.ExactlywhatIwantedthemtothink.
IthelpedthatIdidn’tmindtheideaofdrapingmyarmaroundher,either.Notonebit.
Aswedepartedtherestaurantlater,Scottgavemeanotherfirmhandshake.
“Congratulations,Emmett,”hesaid,noddingatme.“You’vedonealrightforyourself.”
“Isurehave,”Itoldhim.Everythingwasgoingperfectlytoplan.
Mirigaveusaconspiratoriallook.“Dowehearweddingbellsinthefuture?”
“What?No,”IsaidbeforeIcouldcatchmyself.
“Definitelynot,”Averysaidquickly,andMirilookedcrushed.
“Imean,”Ibegan.Shit,Ihadtosavethis.“Whoknows.”IsmiledatMiri,andhermouthfellopenwithaknowinglook.
AveryandIexchangedaglance.WhathadIjustdone?
“Miri,canyoutakeapictureofus?”Iasked.
“Ofcourse.”Shewavedbetweenus.“Getcloser.”
IhandedhermyphoneandputmyarmaroundAvery’sshoulders.Shefitrightagainstme,andIcouldfeelthewarmthofherskinthroughherclothes.Icouldsmellherhair,lightandsweet.Mycocktwitched,andIinhaledsharply.
JesusChrist,Rhodes.Getyourselftogether.Ihadn’tbeenturnedonsoquicklysinceIwasateenager.
“Giveeachotherakiss,”Mirisuggested.
“Uh,”Averystartled.
IleaneddownandgaveAveryakissonthecheek.Herskinwassoft,likevelvet.
“No,arealone,”Miripressed.
Averyclearedherthroat.“Ihavegarlicbreath.”
Idon’tknowwhathappened,butonesecond,IwasstandingtherewithmyarmaroundAvery,andthenextone,Iwaspullinghertowardme,abouttopressmymouthtohers.
Sheturnedquickly,andIgotherearandamouthfulofhair.
“Whatthehell,Adams,”Imurmuredinherear.
“Whatthehell,yourself,”shemurmuredback,hergazeblazing.“Alittlewarningnexttime?”
“Well,”Mirichirped,handingmyphonebacktome.“I’llseeyoutolovebirdslater.Haveagreatnight.Avery,I’llemailyouthosedetailsabouttheschoolworkprogram.”
“Goodnight,”Averysaid.
“Whatwasshetalkingabout?”Iaskedheronthewaytothecar.“Theschoolprogram.”
“There’saworkprogramatthelocalhighschoolthatplacesqueerteensinacceptingandwelcomingworkenvironments.Wecouldusesomesummerworkersattherestaurant.”
Somethingclickedinmyhead.Averywastheonlystraightwoman,unrelatedtome,thatI’devermetwhowasn’tattractedtome.Shedidn’tdatemuch—onlyhookups,fromthesoundsofthings.AndnowAverywasshowingalotofinterestinanorganizationforqueeryouthintown.
Mypulsestilled.Averywasgay.Thismadesomuchsense.Ofcourse.Jesus,whydidn’tIrealizethisbefore?Perhapsshejustwasn’treadytocomeouttoourcommunity,ordidn’tplanto.
IfeltthesinkofdisappointmentthatthingswithAveryandIwouldnevergofurther.Itwouldbefuntohaveacouplehookups,ifsheeverwarmeduptome.Atthesametime,reliefsettledinmychest.Iwasn’tlosingmymojo.Iwasn’tagingoutofbeingattractive.Averynotlikingmehadnothingtodowithme.Itwasallabouther.Completelyoutofmycontrol.
Islidintothedriver’sseatandturnedtoherwithasympatheticlook.
“It’llbeourlittlesecret,”Itoldher.
Shegavemeastrangelook.“Yeah,Iknow.”
Istartedthecar.“IhopeyouknowthatQueen’sCoveisanincrediblyliberalplace,andnoonewouldtreatyouanydifferently.”
Shenarrowedhereyesatme.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
Igaveheraduhlook.“Avery,you’regay.”
Shegavemeanamusedlook.“AmI?”
Therewasaninklingofhesitationinsidemyhead.“That’swhyyoudon’tlikeme.Becauseyou’regay.”Mygazecutfromtheroadtoher.“Right?”
Sheburstoutlaughing.“Wow.”
“What?”
“Isyouregosomassivethatyouactuallycan’tbelieveastraightwomandoesn’tlikeyou?”
“No.”Yes.Ifeltthefrownsettleonmyface.“Butyou’regettinginvolvedwith—”
“I’mgettinginvolvedbecauseIthinkit’sagreatcause,Miriseemsreallynice,andlastweek,acustomertoldMaxhewasasinner,soitfeltlikeaperfectopportunity.”
“That’sawful.”
“AboutthecustomertellingMaxhe’sasinnerormenotbeinggay?”
Thelightaheadofmeturnedyellow,andIslowedtoastopjustasitturnedred.“Both.”
Shesnorted.WewerequietasIdrovedownthetown’smainstreet.
Shenarrowedhereyesatme.“So,whenMiribroughtuptheweddingbells,youcouldn’tsaynofastenough.”
MygazecuttohersasIturnedontoherstreet.“Nothingtodowithyou.”
“Iwasn’tworriedaboutthat.”
Ishrugged.“Ijustdon’treallyseethatlifeforme.”Iglancedather.“Youwereprettyquicktosayno,too.”
“Iknow.”
“So,yourparentsaredivorced.”
“Yep.”Shestaredoutthewindow.
Ididn’tsayanythingforamoment,butsheletthesilencehangthere.IguessthatwasallIwasgoingtogetoutofhertonight.
Ipulledthecarovertothestreetinfrontofherhouse.Alright,thiswasenoughserioustalk.Igavehermybestseductivesmile,theonethatworkseverytime.“Well,ifyou’renotgay,”Isaidinalowvoicebeforelookingupather,“canIcomein?”
Shesnortedandopenedthecardoor.“No.”
Icouldn’thelpbutgrin.Ididn’treallywanttogoinside,Iwasjusttryingtogetariseoutofher.Pushingherbuttonswasbeginningtobemynewfavoritehobby.
Okayyes,yes,Ididwanttogoinside.Ihadbeensportingahalf-bonersincethatawkwardkissoutsidetherestaurant.ItwasbecauseAverydidn’tlikeme.That’swhyIwantedmore.
“Alright,maybenexttimethen.Wecanworkonpracticingthatkiss.”
“Nope.”Sheshookherheadbeforeclosingthedoor.Herfacewasgoingred.
Iwatchedherasshewalkedupthepathtoherhome.Whenshewasjustabouttogoinside,Isteppedoutofthecar.
“Howdidyouknowabouttheturtles?”
Sheturnedandgavemeaconspiratoriallook.“Elizabethtoldme.”
Igroanedandwatchedassheturnedandcontinuedupthepath.
“Goodnight,sweetheart,”Icalledtoher,loudenoughsothateveryoneintowncouldhear.
Shelookedaroundfuriouslytoseeifanyonewasoutonthestreetbeforeshootingmeadisapprovinglook,andIgrinnedbigather,wigglingmyeyebrows.Morepaybackforthatstupidturtlerescuestuntshepulled.Shedisappearedinside,andIwaiteduntilalightturnedonupstairstodriveaway.9Avery
Iwokethenextmorningtomyphonebuzzing.
“Hello?”Iasked.Myvoicewasraspywithsleep.
“Ihaveagreatidea.”
Irubbedmyeyes.“Emmett?”
“Areyoustillsleeping?Adams,it’snearlynineinthemorning.”
“Iknow,it’snotevennineinthemorning,andyou’recallingme.Sorude.”
“Igetupatsixeveryday.Weshouldgetmarried.”
Inarrowedmyeyes,replayingthewordsImusthavemistakenlyheard.“No,thankyou.”
“It’sworking,Adams.MypollingnumbersshotupthesecondyouandIsteppedouttogether.Also,Mirisentherselfthatpicturefromlastnightandposteditonsocialmedia.”
“Thesecondone?”Irememberedthewayhismouthbrushedmycheekrightbeforehegotabunchofmyhairinhismouth.Hisstubblehadscrapedmyskinsogently.WhydidIkeepreplayingthat?
“No,thankgod,thefirstone.Myphonehasbeenringingallmorningwithpeoplearoundtownwantingtocongratulateus.”
Ipulledmyphoneawayfrommyearandsawafewphonecallsandmissedtexts.Ididn’treallycarewhatmostpeoplethought,buttherewereselectfewintownthatIdidn’tlikelyingto,includingHannah,Keiko,Max,andElizabeth.Iwinced.Ididn’tthinkaboutElizabethwhenwemadethisdeal,Ijustthoughtaboutmyself.Butnow,I’dhavetolietoElizabethaboutdatingherson,andIactuallylikedandrespectedher.Ichewedmylipandstaredatthetreesoutsidemybedroomwindow,thinking.
“Wewouldn’thavetoactuallygetmarried,wecouldjustgetengaged,”Emmettwassaying.“Peopleloveweddings.Thiswouldcreatesomuchbuzz.YousawhowMirireactedandthatwasjustusdating.Imagineifwegotengaged,she’dlosehermind.”
Married.Blegh.Mystomachchurned.MyinitialreactiontoMiri’smentionofaweddinglastnightwasaccurate—Ihadnodesiretogetmarried,especiallyafterwhatIsawmyparentsgothrough.Whattheymademegothrough.
Ihadworkedmywayupfromthebottom.Iwouldneverallowmyselftogiveawayhalf,especiallywhenthingsinevitablywentsouth.Iwouldneverallowsomeonetodowhatmyfatherdidtomymom.
“Emmett,youalreadysaiditwasworking,whydoweneedtogetengaged?”
“Idon’thavethisinthebagyet.Isaacisstillahead.”
“I’mnotdoingit.”
Ihunguponhim,andmyheaddroppedbackonthepillow.Myphonebegantobuzzasecondlater.
“No,”Ianswered.
“Double-panedwindows.”
“What?”
“TheArbutusstillusessingle-panedwindows.Doyouknowhowenergyinefficientthoseare?Icouldcutthirtypercentoffyourutilitybillsinthesummerandwinterbyswitchingthemout.”
“You’regoingtogivemefreedouble-panedwindowsifIpretendtogetengagedtoyou?”Irubbedmyeyesagainandstaredattheceiling.Itwaswaytooearlytobeagreeingtoafakeengagement.“Howromantic.”
“Mhm.”
WhileEmmetttalkedabouthowitwouldwork,Islippedoutofbedandpaddedovertothekitchentomakecoffee.Itreallywasn’tthatdifferentfromwhatIwasalreadydoing—trytosmileathim,don’tjerkmyhandawaywhenhereachesforit,pretendtolikehim.Theweddingwouldneverhappen.We’dquietlybreakupsometimeaftertheelection,andeveryonewouldgobacktotheirbusiness.
Iwatchedthecoffeemakerdripcaffeineintothepot.“Fine.”
Emmettmadeasatisfiednoiseontheotherend.“Excellent.I’lldropbytherestauranttosayhilater.”
“No,don’t—”
Buthehadalreadyhungup.
***
“I’lltakethat,”ItoldMaxthateveningduringdinnerservice,handinghimafullpitcherofwaterandtakingtheemptyonefromhim.
Heaccepteditwithalookofreliefbeforeheadingbackoutintotherestaurant,andIwentbacktowatchingChuckinfrontofme,seatedatthebar.HewasglancingaroundtherestaurantandmakingnotesinanotebookinbetweenmouthfulsofthelinguinepastaIhadreverse-engineeredtothebestofmyabilitywiththechefyesterday.
“How’syourfood,Chuck?”Iasked.Hehadabiggreasestainonthefrontofhisshirt.
Hestaredatmeforasecondbeforemakinganoteinhisnotebook.“Toosalty.”Heshoveledanotherbiteintohisface.
Myeyebrowsraised,butIkeptmycustomerservicesmilepastedonmyface,reservedpurelyforpeoplelikeChuck.IfonlyIcouldseewhathewaswritinginthatbook.
“Youhavealotofstaff,”hecommented,reachingupanddiggingintohisearbeforewipingitonhisclothnapkin.Isuppressedagag.
“It’sourbusiestnight,”Itoldhimwithashrug.“Allhandsondeck.”
ItwasThursdaynight,andIwasstandingbehindthebar,doingwhatIcouldtohelpkeepthingsmovingalongastherestaurantwasburstingattheseamswithcustomers.ThursdayswerealwaysourbusiestnightsfromMayuntilOctober.You’dthinkitwouldbeFriday,butvisitorsfromVancouver,Victoria,andSeattleoftenswarmedQueen’sCoveforweekendvacations,solocalsknewtoavoidusonweekends.Duringthesesummermonths,mostlocalsworkedweekendsanyways.SummertourismwashowQueen’sCovemademoney,eitherthroughthebarsandrestaurants,theoutdooractivitieslikesurfingorkayakingtours,orthekitschygiftshopswithmugs,t-shirts,orfridgemagnetswithourtown’snameonit.Thursdaynightwasthelocals’weekend.
ChucksentawryglanceatMax,whosteppedupbesidemetomakedrinks.“Heardyou’retryingtobuytheplace.”
“Iambuyingtheplace,”Icorrectedhim.
Hemadeadisapprovingnoiseinthebackofhisthroatandwrotesomethingdown.Myshoulderstensed,andIshruggeditoff.Whateverhewaswritinginhisnotebook—peopletofire,dishestoremovefromthemenu,changestothedecor—noneofitwouldcometofruitionbecausetheplanthatEmmettandIhadcookedup,itwasgoingtowork.
Keikowalkedinthefrontdoor,andthehostessgreetedher.Igaveheracheerywave.ChuckwrenchedaroundinhisseattolookatwhoIwaswavingat,andwhenhesawKeiko,hehoppeduptogooverandsayhitoher.
Hisnotebooklayopenonthebar.
Readit,thedevilinsidemewhispered.
Isnorted.Emmettmusthavebeenrubbingoffonme.
BeforeIcouldchangemymind,Iwhirledaroundandleftthebararea.Ididn’tneedtoseewhateverwasinthatbook.IwasbetterthanChuck.Iwashardworking,treatedmyemployeeswithrespect,andIhadenoughbusinesssmartstorunthisplace.Keikoknewthis,andIdidn’tneedtoworryaboutwhateverwaswritteninthatbook.
IspottedHannahandherfatheratanearbytable.Jeeze,everybodyintownwasheretonight.
“Hey,youtwo.Frank,sogoodtoseeyou,”Isaidtoherfather,whoIrarelysawaroundtown.Hewasashy,quietman.
Hegavemeaquickwaveandawarmsmile.“Hello.Hannahconvincedmetoputthebookdownandgooutforanicemealtonight.”
“I’mthrilledthatshedid,”Itoldthem.“CanIgetyouanything?”
Hannahsmiledsoftlyupatmeandshookherhead.Sheandherdadhadthesamesmile.Theyweresplittingourpaellawithafewglassesofwhitewine.“Everythingisgreat.Thanks,Avery.”
Franklookedacrossthetableathisdaughterwithaffection.Hegesturedatthesettingsunoutsideonthewater,splashingorangesandpinksacrossthesky.“Andwhataview.”
Hannahsmiledagainandraisedhereyebrowsatme.Therewasaglintof…somethinginhereyethatIhadn’tseenbefore.Mischievousness,maybe.
“What’sthatlook?”Iaskedher,frowning.“WhatdoyouknowthatIdon’t?”
Sheshookherheadandsmiledintohernapkin.“Nothing,nothing.It’snicetobehere.”
Iclappedmyhandstogether.“Alright,well,pleaseletmeknowifyouneedanythingelse,andenjoyyourdinner.”Inoticedtheemptybreadbasketonthetable.“I’llsendoversomemorebread.”
InearlybumpedstraightintoElizabethRhodesonmywaybacktothebar.Shehadjuststeppedinthedoor.
“Oh,Elizabeth.”Iputmyhandonherarm.“Nicetoseeyou.Hi,Sam,”Isaidtoherhusband,Emmett’sdad.ItsuddenlystruckmehowhelookedlikeanolderversionofEmmett,withhisthick,shorthair,strongnose,andlightgreyeyes.BehindhimstoodWyattandHolden.“It’sawholegaggleofRhodestonight.”ThewholeRhodesfamilywashereexceptFinn.Icouldseevariouswomenthroughouttherestaurantsendingglancestheirway.Theywerealloversixfeet,andallhandsomeintheirownway.EmmettinhischiseledRalphLaurenway,Holdeninhisbeardscruff,plaid-clad,gruffbutpolitemountainmanway,andWyatt,withhissandyblondhairthatwasperpetuallyinneedofahaircut,andlazy,overlyconfidentsmile.
Iglancedaroundforthehost,Rachel,butshewasseatinganothergroupattheirtable.
Elizabethbeamedatme.“Emmettsuggestedweallgooutfordinnerhere,isn’tthatnice?”
Emmettappearedatmysideandputhisarmaroundmyshoulderwithasmile.“Avery,lookinggorgeousasalways.”
Myfaceprickled,andIignoredthewarmthandweightofhisarmonmyshoulder.
Wait—theentireRhodesfamilywashere?
“Rachel,”Isaidtoherasshereturned.“CanyoupleaseseattheRhodesatTableOne?”IsmiledatElizabeth.“Let’sgiveyouaview,shallwe?”
“Actually,”Emmettinterjected,“we’dpreferatableinthemaindiningroom.Rightinthemiddleoftheaction.”
Myeyesnarrowedathim.Whatwashedoing?“TableOnehasamuchbetterviewoftheharbor.”
Hegrinneddownatmeandmygazesnaggedonthetinywhitescaronhislip.Annoying,meddling,tallman.“We’dreallyliketobeinthemainroomwitheveryoneelse.”
Elizabethwavedahand.“Oh,honey,itdoesn’tmatterwherewesit.”
Emmettstaredatmeintently.“Iinsist.GiveTableOnetosomeoneelse.”
Imethisgaze,glaringathimforamomentbeforeIbroke.“Rachel,pleaseputtheRhodesfamilyatTableTen.Rightsmackdabinthemiddleofthediningroom.”IturnedtoEmmettwithmymostpleasant,politesmile.“Happy?”
Hisamusedgrinwassincere.“Absolutely.Thanks,sweetheart.”
“Anytime,darling.”Ithenlookedateveryone.“Enjoyyourdinner.”
Rachelgesturedatthem.“Followme.”
Emmettgavemyshoulderasqueezeandquickwink,andthefamilyfollowedRachel,exceptforElizabeth,whowrappedmeinatighthug.Shesmelledlikeroses,andIrelaxedagainstherimmediately.
“What’sthisfor?”
Shepulledbackandbeamedatme.“Ican’ttellyouhowexcitedIwastohearthenewsaboutyouandmyEmmett.Ialwaysthoughtyoudidn’tlikehim!”
Shegavemyarmalightslap,andIlaughednervously.
“Oh,ha-ha.Gotyou,”Isaidinajokingtone.
“Youtworeallyfooledme,”sheshookherheadatme.
Elizabeth,youhavenoidea.
Later,whenthedinnerrushwasinfullswingandthebarwasfullystocked,IdecidedIwasgettinginthewayandsomademywaybacktomyoffice.
“Whereareyougoing?”MaxaskedthesecondIsteppedintothehallway,blockingmypath.
Ipointedbehindhim.“I’llbeinmyofficeifyouneedanything.”
“Weneedyououtheretonight.”
“I’mjustgettingintheway,”Idismissedhim.“Istheresomethinginparticularyouneed?”
Maxstoodhisground.Hesentaglanceovermyshoulder.“There’sacustomerwhowantstocomplainaboutsomething?”
Ifrownedathim.“Who,Chuck?”
Therewasthetinklingsoundofsomeoneclinkingtheirglass,andtheentirerestaurantquieteddownbehindus.Isteppedbackoutintotherestaurant,curious.
Emmettstoodathistablewithhisglassraised.
Oh,mygod.Mygutwrenchedwithpanic,mylungsconstricted,andIrememberedtheconversationwehadafewdaysago,rightafterIhadwokenup.
Ihadcompletelyforgottenaboutit.
Mymindbegantorace.Here?No.Tonight?Hewasgoingtodoittonight?Butwehadonlytalkedaboutitacoupledaysago.Therewassupposedtobemoreplanninginvolved.Theguycouldhavegivenmesomewarning.Ispunaround,intendingtosprintbackintomyoffice,lockthedoor,andslidethefilingcabinetinfront.Max,however,thelittlebrat,blockedmeagain.
“No,youdon’t,”hesaid,turningmebackaround.Helockedhisarmaroundmyshoulderstoholdmesteady.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Ihissedathim.“Whosesideareyouon?”
HecontinuedsmilingatEmmettwhilewhisperingtomeoutofthecornerofhismouth.“Emmettslippedmeahundredbuckstomakesureyouwerehereforthis.”
Thatbastard.Atiny,minusculefractionofmewasimpressed.Ishouldn’thavebeensurprised.Theguywasalwaysstrategizing,alwaysscheming.Thedealwehadcookedup?Itcametohimsonaturally.HehadeverythingfiguredoutbeforeIevensaidyes.Ofcoursehehadthistimedtotheminute.
“Mostofyouknowme,”Emmettwassayingtotherestaurant.“IwasbornandraisedhereinQueen’sCove,andyouknowmyparents,ElizabethandSam.”Hetippedhisglasstothemandsmiled.“Thistownmeansmoretomethanmostofyouwilleverknow.I’vetraveledallover,butI’venevermetafinergroupofpeople.”
Wow,hewasreallylayingitonthick,Inoticed,evenasmypulsebegantopickup.Maybethiswasjustatoasttohiscampaign.Ididn’tthinkitwas,unfortunately.
“Ilovethistown,andIlovethepeoplewholivehere,that’swhyI’mrunningformayor.ThepeopleofQueen’sCoveareimportant,andI’mgoingtodoeverythingIcantoprotectthem,includingupgradingtheelectricalgridsothosepoweroutagesareathingofthepast.”
Peoplestartedclapping,andhewaitedforthemtofinish.Irolledmyeyes.InEmmett’shead,hewasJesusChristhimself,heretosaveoursadlittletown.Annoying.
Emmettnodded.“YouknowmeastheQueen’sCoveboywhocausedtroublewithmybrothers,youknowmeastheupcomingmayor,butthere’sasideofmethatyoudon’tknow.”
Emmett,theshowmanthathewas,letthislastsentencesettleintheroom.Therewasarippleofcuriositythroughouttherestaurant.Mystomachwasinknots,twistingandchurning,andadrenalinedrippedintomybloodstreamfromtheanticipation.Hisfamilyexchangedcuriouslooks.Notasoulmadeanoise.
“I’malsoamaninlove.”
Everywomanintheroomexceptmeswooned.Myfacetingled,andIcouldn’ttellwhetheritwasfromexasperation,nerves,ornausea.Severaldinerslookedovertomewithbigsmiles.TheymusthaveseenMiri’sphotoofusonline.
Emmettgavethemallabashfullook.“That’sright.I’vefallenheadoverheelsforthelastpersonIexpected.”Hesethiswineglassonthetableandreachedintohispocket.
Iclosedmyeyes.Why,whydidIagreetodothis?Thiswasmortifying.Noonewasgoingtobelieveit.They’dtakeonelookatmyfaceandknowitwasacompleteloadofcrap.
Emmettpulledoutasmall,navy-bluevelvetbox,andachorusofgaspsroseuparoundtheroom.Helookedstraightatme,andMax’sgrasponmyshoulderstightenedinresponse.Iswallowedthickly.EventhoughEmmettwasinflictingthismortificationonme,Icouldn’tlookawayfromhim.Hewaslikeananchor.Hewastheonlypersonwhoknewthetruth,andwewereinthistogether.
Hegavemeasoftsmileandstartedwalkingslowlyacrosstherestauranttome.Thethumpofhisbootsonthehardwoodechoedinthesilentrestaurantaseveryoneheldtheirbreath.
MaxshovedmeforwardsoIwasinthecenteroftherestaurant.Everyonecouldseeme.
“Avery,”Emmettsaid,andbehindhim,Elizabethclutchedherhandstohermouthinelation.“Iknowyou’rescared,andthatyouwantedtokeepusasecret.”Hereachedoutandtookmyhands.“Butbaby,I’mcrazyaboutyou,andIwanttotelltheworld.Youmakemeabetterman.Iwanttospendtherestofmylifewithyou.”Hedroppeddowntoonekneeandmoregaspsroseuparoundtheroom.
“Oh,mygod!”Maxsquealedbehindme.
Myheadwasabouttoexplode.Anervouslaughsatrightbelowmyvocalcords,readytobubbleupatanyminute.Mystomachtwistedbackandforth.MyhandsshookinEmmett’s.Everyonestaredatme.EverysinglepersonIconsideredafriendwasheretonight,watchingme,watchingthishappen.
Onbendedkneeinfrontofme,Emmettopenedthebox.
Mymouthfellopen.
Itwasavintagediamondringfromthe1920s,ArtDecostyle.I’dseensimilarstylesonline.Itsparkledbrilliantly,catchingthelightfromeveryangle.Thecenterdiamondwasasoftgrey,justlikethecolorofEmmet’seyes.Ahalooftinywhitediamondsencircledthelargerdiamond,withbaguette-stylegemscascadingfromthehalo.
Itwasgorgeous.Itwascomplicated,unique,overthetop,andyetdaintyatthesametime.Iwasabsolutelyenchantedbythisring.
HowdidheknowwhatIwouldlike?TheonlypersonIhadtoldaboutthiswas—
MygazecuttoHannah,whogavemeasoftsmilewhilebitingherlipinanticipation.Shewiggledhereyebrowsatme.
IswallowedagainandlookedbackatEmmett.Hismoneyandinfluenceknewnoboundsinthistown,itappeared.
“AveryAdams,willyoumarryme?”heaskedsoftly,butjustloudenoughforeveryonetohear.
Thewholerestaurantwassilent,waitingformyanswer.Emmettwatchedmewithagentle,reverentlookonhisface.Iwasfrozen.Mythoughtsmovedthroughjello,slowandsluggish.ThelongerIwassilent,themorethetensiongrew.Shit,whatwasIdoing?Ihadtosaysomething.Ihadtosayyes.
Outofthecornerofmyeye,Chuckfidgetedinhisseatbeforecheckinghisphone,likehewasbored.
Therestaurant.IwasdoingthissoIcouldgettherestaurant.EmmettandIwereinthistogether,andIalwayskeptmyword.Ialwaysheldupmyendofthebargain.
UncertaintyflickeredthroughEmmett’seyesashewaitedformyanswer.HisAdam’sapplebobbed.
“Yes,”Iwhispered.
“Yes?”Hiseyebrowswentup,andIcouldtellhewasrelievedIdidn’tfuckitallup.“Yes?”
Inoddedandsmileddespitemyself.Itwasfun,playingwithEmmett’ssanityandemotionslikethis.“Yes.”
Heslippedtheringonmyfinger,stood,andbeforeIrealizedit,steppedintomypersonalspaceandputhismouthonmine.
Istoppedbreathing.
Hisarmswrappedaroundme.Emmettwaskissingme.
Aroundus,applauseandcheeringexploded.Emmettwaskissingme.Achampagnebottlepoppedbehindthebar.Emmettwaskissingme.
Hismouthwaswarm,soft,andIfeltthelightestscrapeofstubbleonmyskin,whichsentalittleshiverallthewaydownmyspine.Icouldsmellhismasculinescent,andmyhandsinstinctivelycametohischest.Ishiveredagainwhenhisfingerstangledintomyhair.
Beforemybraincouldmakesenseofwhatwashappening,hepulledbackandsmileddownatme.“Nicework,”hemurmuredintomyhair.
Wewereimmediatelysurroundedbyhappyfriendsandfamily,wishinguswellandcongratulatingus.Eventhoughwekeptgettingpulledapartforhugsandhandshakes,Emmettstuckbymysidelikeglue,onehandalwaysonme,whetheritwasmyelbowormyhandormyshoulderorthesmallofmyback.Itwasloud,noisy,andchaotic,andIdidn’thavetimetothinkwhilesmilingandthankingpeopleandshruggingwithaquicksmilewhenpeopletoldmetheyhadnoidea.
Finally,aftereveryonehadsettleddownandgonebacktotheirtables,thestaffhadgonebacktowork,Iwentbacktomyofficeandclosedthedoorbeforesittingdown,closingmyeyes,andputtingmyheadinmyhands.
Iletalongbreathout.Mypulsewasfinallyslowingdown,butmymindwasstillracing.Icouldn’tbelieveweactuallydidit.Wepulleditoff.
Elizabeth’sjubilantexpressionprojectedinmymind.ShehadracedoverandgivenmeanotherhugafterEmmettproposed,beamingatmewithtearsinhereyes.Shewasoverthemoonaboutus.Heroldestsonwasgettingmarried.Thiswaseverythingshewanted.
Guiltwashedthroughme,andIwinced.Ididn’tlikethisfeeling,andIdidn’tlikelyingtoher.Shewasareallynicewoman,andIcouldalreadypicturethedisappointmentonherfacewhenshelearnedEmmettandIdidn’tworkout.
ButthenIthoughtaboutwhatwouldhappenifIdidn’tgoalongwiththischarade.Emmettwouldn’tcosignonmyloan,I’dbeoutofluck,andChuckwouldswoopinandbuytherestaurantfromKeiko.He’dturnitintoastripcluborsomething.
WasIdoingsomethingwrong?Yes.Butitwasthelesseroftwoevils,sowhatchoicedidIhave?
Andifthelesserevilmeantwearingthisringforacouplemonths,Iwastotallyonboard.ItcaughtthelightasItiltedmyhandtoandfro.Everytinydiamondwasplacedsocarefully,sointentionally.Ihadneverseenaringquitelikeit.
“Justgorgeous,”Ibreathed.
TherewasaknockatthedoorbeforeEmmettstuckhisheadin.
“Goodwork,Adams,”hesaidwithapproval,steppingin,closingthedoorbehindhim,andleaningagainstthefilingcabinet.
Istaredathimabeat.
Hemadeafaceandcrossedhisarmsoverhischest.“What?Whatdoyouhavetobecrankyaboutnow?ThatwentbetterthanIcouldhaveimagined.Thatlittlehesitationbeforesayingyes?”Heshookhisheadwithwistfulsatisfaction.“You’reanatural.Who,me?Marryyou?Well,Idon’tknow…”hemimickedinahigh-pitchedvoiceandbithislip.
“Thatwasn’tforshow.Iwasactuallydebatingwhetherbuyingtherestaurantisworthtakingaone-waytriptohellwithyou.”
Hismouthhitched,andhisgazesettledonme.Myskinprickled,rememberingthewayoureyesmetwhenwewereinchesapart.“You’refunny.Didyouknowthat?”
Inodded.“Yes.”
Hewinked.“Andmodest.Lookslikewehavethatincommon.”Hestraightenedup.“Engagementpartyatmyhouse,Sunday.”Hepausedandlookedatmeoutofthecornerofhiseye.“WearthatlipstickyouworetodinnerwithMiriandScott.”
Hegavemeadevilishgrin,andIstood,placedmyhandsonhischest,thengentlyshovedhimoutofmyoffice.
“Out,”Itoldhim.
Helaughedandputhishandsup.“Okay,okay.Goodnight,Adams.”
Iclosedthedoorandfloppeddowninmychair.Hewasstillthinkingaboutthatredlipstick,huh?Ithoughtaboutthewayhisgazelingeredonmymouththeothernight,thewayheatflashedinhiseyesbeforeheblinkeditaway,andhowitsentelectricitystraightdowntobetweenmylegs.
Ishookmyheadtomyselfandwokeupmycomputer.Emmettwastricklingintomythoughtsmoreandmore,butitwasonlybecauseIwasspendingsomuchtimewiththeguy.Also,Ihadn’tbeenlaidinawhile.Thiswasnatural.OfcourseIwasthinkingabouthim,hewasahandsomemanwhoIwaspretendingtodate.Mybodydidn’tknowthedifference.
Mybraindid,though.Thiswasjustadeal.Emmettwasn’tactuallyinterestedinme,orhewouldhavemadeamoveyearsago.NotthatIwouldhavedoneanythingaboutit.SoallIneededtodo,ifIwantedthiswholeagreementtogosmoothly,wastokeepacoolhead.
Easypeasy.10Emmett
“Emmett,”Miricalledfromoutsidethelow,olderbuilding,justoffthehighwaybeforethetownborder.Acrosstheparkinglotanddownthehillwasasmallcove.Thisonewasrockierthantheotherbeachesandnotascalm,butIknewfromsomeofmymorningrunsthatthemostspectacularsunrisescouldbeviewedfromhere.Ialwaysenjoyedrunningpastthisarea.
UntilIlearnedthisbuildinghousedcreaturesoftheunderworld.
“Emmett,”Miricalledagain,andIgotoutofmycar.
Look,IlikedMiri.Shewasalovelyperson,verysweet,anddidatonofcharityworkinQueen’sCove.Shewasanincrediblecontributiontoourcommunity.Icouldn’tthinkofabadthingtosayaboutthewoman.
Shewaspersistent,though,I’dgiveherthat.WhenMiriphonedwiththedetailsabouttheturtlerehab,Ihadtoldherthatregrettably,Divhadalreadybookedmeavisitwiththelocalhospital.Shesaidthatshehadalreadyconfirmedwithmyassistant
Mirimightbeanevilgenius.
“Goodmorning.”IputonabrightsmileasIapproached,mystomachchurning.
Miriclaspedherhandstogether.“Goodmorning,handsome.Yourdarlingisalreadyinside.”
“Mywho?”Iasked,frowning.“Oh.Avery.”
Mirilaughedandslappedmyshoulder.“Comeon,let’sgoin.Thereporterisalreadyhere.”
IstaredafterherasIheldthedooropen,andshebreezedpastme.“Thewho?”Iaskedforthesecondtime.
“Emmett,”DonO’RourkegreetedasIwalkedintothelobbyofthesmalloffice.Donwasthereporterforthelocalpaperandnewsblog.Itwasasmallpaperandrunbyoneguy,whousuallyhiredasummerstudentduringthebusyseason.Hiscamerahungaroundhisneck,andhegavemeabiggrin.“Readytogetupcloseandpersonalwithsometurtles?”
Irubbedthebackofmyneckandswallowed.Onthedriveover,mystomachhadtightenedintoaknot.
BesideDon,Averypressedherlipstogetherandlookeddown,tryingnottosmile.Shehaddoneherhairdifferently,itwastiedupintoaponytailinsteadofdownaroundhershoulderslikeusual.
“Can’twait,”Itoldhim,givinghimaquick,tensesmileandsteppingovertoAvery.Iwrappedmyarmaroundhershoulderandpulledhertomequickly,pressingaquickkissontothesideofherhead.Herhairsmelledamazing,thatfreshlywashedscentofwomen’shairproducts.“Hello,sweetheart.”
“Hello,darling.”Hertonewasdrippingwithself-satisfaction.
Miricaughtsightoftheringandgasped,reachingforAvery’shand.“Ihaven’tseentheringyet.Oh,mygod.”Mirigavemeaflatlook.“It’sgorgeous.Emmett,youhaveincredibletaste.”
Averytiltedherhandtolookattheringandhereyesfixatedonit.Yesterday,Ihadwalkedinonherinheroffice,admiringit.Sheshookherheadandglancedatmeoutofthecornerofhereye.“Idon’tknowhowhefoundit.”
Ismiled,andasatisfiedfeelingspreadthroughoutmychest.“Ihavemyways.”
SeeingAveryadmirethatringmademeahappyguy.ThedayIgothergreenlightontheengagementplan,IpaidavisittoHannah.Inthemustylittlebookstore,Hannahflippedthroughthepagesofabookonvintagejewellery,pointingoutexactlytheshapeandstyleAverywasdrawnto.IimmediatelydrovetoVictoriathreehoursawayandscouredjewelrystoresforsomethingvintage,somethingpeoplewouldbelieveAverywouldwant.DidIdropabitofmoneyonthering?SureIdid,butthesecondIsawhereyeslightup,thatdidn’tseemtomatterasmuch.
Mirilookedbetweenthetwoofus.“Haveyoupickedadateyet?”
“We’restillthinkingaboutit,”Averymentionednoncommittally.“Probablynextyearormaybetheyearafter.”
Ihadtheurgetoputmyarmaroundheragainbutstoppedmyself.
Somethingweirdhadbeenhappeninglately—I’dbeenthinkingaboutAverymoreandmore.
First,itwasthatawkwardkissforthephotoMiritook.IthoughtabouthowmymouthbrushedhercheekandthemouthfulofhairIgot.Ihaddesperatelywantedado-over,becauseIwasEmmettRhodes,andIdidn’tdobadkisses.
Igotthedo-overwhenIproposedtoAveryintherestaurant.Thewayhersoftmouthfeltundermine,fuckinghell.Shewassosoftandsweetandherhairwaslikesilkaroundmyfingers,anditstillwasn’tenough.Thatkisswastoochaste.IwasEmmettRhodes,andIdidn’tdochastekisses.
So,Ineededonemoredo-over,anditwasgoingtobeagoodone.Idon’tknowwhenitwouldhappenbutIwassurewe’dhaveanopportunityatsomepoint.Assoonaswehadourdo-overkiss,Icouldstopwonderingandthinkingaboutherandherbodyandwhathertitslookedlike,andIcouldfocusontheelection.
“CanIinterestanyoneinsomesnacksbeforewebeginthetour?”Miriasked,pullingoutatrayoftartsfrombehindthedesk.“Scotthelpedmemakethemlastnight.”
Rulenumberoneofrunningformayor:ifsomeoneoffersyoufood,youaccept.Allergy?Don’tcare.Pickyeater?Shutup.Fulloffthesmoothie,threeeggs,andavocadotoastyouateanhourbefore?Chokeitdown,buddy.
“Absolutely.”Iacceptedatartandtookabite.Ididn’trecognizethetextureofthefilling.
“Theselookgreat,”Averytoldher.Perfect,Avery.Exactlylikethat.“Whatarethey?”
“Thesearetheturtlesthatdidn’tmakeit,”Mirireplied,andIchokedandspathalfthetartoutintomynapkin.
Averyputherhandoverhermouth,eitherinshockorlaughterorboth.
“I’mkidding!”Miritrilled,laughing.“They’remincemeat.”
AveryandDonbeganlaughingatmeandIfeltmyfacegored.
“Yougotme,”ItoldMiri,grinningather.Itfeltmorelikebaringmyteethather,andhereyeswidenedalittlebit.“Shallwebeginthetour?”
“Greatidea,”Miriconcurred,andweenteredthefacility.Mirileduspastthereceptionareaandfurtherintothebuilding,chattingabouttherescueorganizationasDontooknotes,Averyaskedpolitequestions,andItriednottolooktoohardthroughanyofthewindowsthatwepassed.
“Howdotheturtlesfindtheirwayhere?”Averyasked.
Mirinoddedwithenthusiasm.“Someareinjuredbyboatpropellersintheharbor,somearehitbycars,someareattackedbyanimalsorsharks,andpeoplewouldcallusandwe’dsendsomeoneouttoscoopthelittleguyup.Somearecold-stunnedbysuddendropsoftemperature.”Shestoppedatthedoorandgesturedforustogoinside.“Andsometimes,peoplejustcan’tgivetheirpetturtletheloveandaffectionitneeds.Wetakepetturtlesaswellasseaturtles.Let’sgosayhellotosomenow.”
Eugh.Mystomachturned.
“I’mjustgoingtogomakeaquickcall—”Istarted,butAvery’sarmloopedthroughmine.
“Hecanmakethecalllater.”Shelookedupatme.Hereyessparkledwithmischiefandrevengeunderthefluorescentlights.“Comeon,Emmett,let’sgotouchtheturtles.”
IstareddownatherwithanexpressionthatIhopedconveyedhowmuchtroubleshewasin,buttheexpressionthatsheworeconveyedhowmuchfunshewashavingwiththis.Thiswasagametoher.Mebeinggrossedoutbyturtleswasagoddamngametoher.
Miriopenedthedoor,andwesteppedintotheroomfilledwithlargetanks.MygazedartedtoMiri,thefloor,theceiling,Avery,toDon’scameraashesnappedpictures,anywherebutthoseslow-movingslimythingsbehindtheglass.Avery’sarmwasstillentwinedinmine,andherotherhandrestedonmybicep.Icouldfeelthewarmthofherhandthroughmyshirt.MaybeshethoughtI’dmakearunforit.Ormaybeshewantedtofindanexcusetotouchme.
Thethoughtsentalittlesparkdownmyspine.
Shewasprobablyjusttryingtosellit,thisfakerelationshipofours.Shewasn’tdoingthisbecauseshewantedto.
IglancedatherdelicatehandandtheringIboughther.Ididn’tmindthispart,thetouching.Notonebit.
“—doesn’thaveageneratorsoduringthelastoutage,allthetank-heatinglostpower,”Miriwasexplaining,“andtheturtlesweresocold.”
“Didyouhearthat,Emmett?”Averyglancedupatmewithanoverlysympatheticexpression.“Theturtleswerecold.Isn’tthatawful?”
Inodded.“Yep.Thatreallysucks.Isn’ttheoceanprettycold?”
Mirilaughedandslappedmyshoulderagain.“Oh,you.”
IshotAveryaconfusedexpressionandshebitbackalaugh.“Oh,you,”shemouthedwhenMiriandDonweren’tlooking,andIsuppressedalaugh.Shetriedtounlinkherarm,butIputmyhandonherarmtoholdherthere.
“Youbecomingmayorwouldsavetheturtles,Emmett,”Donnoted,writingfuriously.“I’mgoingtoputthatinthearticle.”
Averybeamed.“Pleasedo.”
“Yes,”Mirigasped,slappingherforehead.“Ididn’teventhinkofthat.HowcouldInotthinkofthat?”
“Emmett,”Averysaid,inatonethattoldmeshewasuptosomething.“Doesyourcampaignhaveamascot?”
“Oh.My.God,”Miri’smouthdroppedopen.“Avery,areyouthinkingwhatI’mthinking?”
Ibreathedthroughmynose.Theelection.Beingmayor.WillandhisfamilyreturningtoQueen’sCove.
Averynodded.“Turtlemascot?”
“Turtlemascot!”Miricried,clappingherhands.Sheturnedtoatankandunlatchedthelid.
Myheartdroppedthroughmystomach.Oninstinct,Itookastepback,butAveryheldmyarm.Shewasstrongerthanshelooked.Ibetthatwomanhitthegymregularly.Aflickerofwonderatwhatshelookedlikenakedflashedintomymind,butMiriturnedaroundwithadisgustingturtle,andIforgotallaboutnakedAvery.
“Look,”Mirigazedatthewrinkledcreaturewithadoration.
“Uh…”Iwinced.“Wow.Andheis…something.”Mystomachturnedagain,andIregrettedeatingbreakfast.Theturtle’s…arms?weresplayedoutlikeitwasskydiving,anditsweirdeyesstaredintomysoul.
“HernameisElizabeth,afteryourmother.Shemadeadonationacouplemonthsago.Wenameaturtleaftereveryonewhodonates.”
Dongasped.“Ihaveanincredibleidea.”
“What?”Averyasked,andhereyesflashedwithentertainment.Iflexedmyarmunderherhandinwarning,andhernailsdugintome,butinsteadofhurtingmelikesheintended,Ifounditstrangelyhot.Thehaironthenapeofmyneckstoodup.
“Icanseeitinmyhead—mayoralcandidateEmmettRhodesvowstokeepturtleswarm,”Donrevealed.“WithapictureofEmmettholdingtheturtle.Frontpage!”
“Yes!”Mirinoddedandsteppedtowardmewiththecreature.
“No,”Iblurtedout.
MiriandDongavemeafunnylook.Averyraisedhereyebrowsatme,thatplayfulsmilestillonherlips.
“Imean,”Ibegan,“Averyshouldbeinthephotowithme,beingmyfiancéeandall.”Yes.Right.IfIwasgoingdown,shewascomingdownwithme.“Holdingaturtleofherown.”
Averyshrugged.“Sure.Soundsgreat.”
Damnit.
“Lookatus,puttingourheadstogether,”Miribeamed.Shetookanothersteptowardme,holdingtheturtleoutlikeshewashandingmemynewbornbaby.“Don’tmakeanysuddenmovementsorshe’llbiteyou.”
“What?”IsaidinahigherpitchandAveryshookwithlaughter,butitwastoolate.Miripracticallythrewthethingatme,myhandscameup,andIwasholdingit.
Inmyhands.
Agagroseupinmythroat.
Itwassocoldandwet.
Theundersideofitsshellfeltlikeawetballoon.
Mystomachlurched.Ihatedthis.Thiswashell.
MiriunlatchedanothertankandIlookeddownatAvery,barelycontainingherself.“Youwillpayforthis,”Ibreathed.
Shewinkedatmeandmymouthgapedopen.Winkingwasmymove.Nothers.Mine.Ididn’tlikethis.
“Hereyougo.”Miriheldanotherturtleout,whichAveryacceptedfromher.
Donhelduphiscameraandsnappedapicture.“Saycheese.”
“Ithinkyou’resupposedtosaythatbeforethepicture,”Itoldhim.
“Let’sdoonewherewe’rekissingtheturtles,”Averysuggested,andeverythingIatethatmorningthrashedinmystomach.
“Greatidea.”Donliftedhiscameraupagain.“Emmett,liftyourturtleuptoyourlipslikeAveryis.”
Iclosedmyeyesbrieflyandinhaledbeforeliftingtheawfulthinguptomyface.Imadedirecteyecontactwithit,lookingintoitsbeadylittleeyes.Ifeltbadfortheturtle.Sheclearlydidn’twanttobedoingthis,either.Thiswashumiliatingforbothofus.
“Purseyourlips,Emmett,”Miriinstructed,nodding.“Likeyou’rekissingher.”
Averynudgedme.Shecouldbarelycontainhergrin.“Yeah,Emmett,giveElizabethakiss.”
“I’mgoingtobesick,”Iwhispered.
Ididn’tactuallykissit.NeitherdidAvery,Iwasprettysure.Wejustheldthemclosetoourlipsandpretended.Thesecondthecameraflashwentoff,IputthatthingbackinMiri’shandsandrushedovertothesinktowashmyhands.Iprobablyhadsalmonellapoisoningfromholdingit.Coldshiversranupanddownmyspine,andeveryfewseconds,agagroseinmythroat.
Afewminuteslater,thetourwasover,andAveryandIwavedgoodbyetoDonandMiriasweleft.
“Comebacksoon,”Miricalledafterus.
“Notfuckinglikely,”Isaidundermybreath.
ThesecondMiriwentbackinsideIwipedmyhandsonAvery.“Thatwasdisgusting.Ican’tbelieveyoumademedoit.Icanstillfeelitonmyhands.”
Shewashowlingwithlaughter.“Ican’tbelieveyoudideverythingwesuggested.Ididn’tactuallyexpectyoutokisstheturtle.”
“What?”Myfacecrumpledintohorror.“Areyoukidding?”
Averycouldn’tbreathe,shewaslaughingsohard.Shewasdoubledover,leaningonmycar.“Oh,mygod.”Shefinallystraightenedupwithtearsinhereyes.“Thishasbeenthebestdayever,anditisn’tevenlunch.”Shegrinnedatme.“Speakingoflunch,howaboutyoucomebytherestaurant,andwe’llmakeyousomemincemeatpies?”
“I’mnevereatingagain,”Itoldher,andshedissolvedintoanewroundoflaughter.“You’restillcomingtotheengagementpartytomorrow,right?”
Herlaughtersubsided,andshenodded.“Ofcourse.Six?”
“Maybefive,five-thirty.Itwouldbebetterifyouweretherewhenpeoplestartedarriving.”
Shenoddedagain.Herdeepblueeyesweresobrightoutinthesunlight.“Alright.”Shecheckedthetimeonherphone.“Ihavetogo,seeyoulater.”
“Seeyou.”
“Thiswasfun.”Sheleanedforwardandgavemeaquickkissonthecheekbeforeturning,walkingtohercar,anddrivingaway.Istoodtherethewholetime,watchingwithadumb,confusedlookonmyface.
Iglancedaroundtheemptyparkinglot.Therewasnoonearoundtoconvinceofourrelationshipinthatmoment.Averydidthatbecauseshehadwantedto.Inarrowedmyeyes,thefeelofhersoftlipsonmyjawreplayingagainandagaininmyhead.AnimageofAveryinmybed,naked,flashedthroughmyhead,andmycockached.
Shit.
IhadathingforAveryAdams.11Emmett
Aknockonthefrontdoorwokemeupfrommyafternoonnap.Whattimewasit?Ifumbledformyphone,eyesblearyandheadfoggywithsleep.
Fiveo’clock.Ioverslept,andthecatererswerehere.
Ipulledpantson,notbotheringwithashirt,rusheddownstairs,andopenedthedoor,squintinginthelight.“Hey,comeonin—oh.Hi.”
Averystoodonmyfrontdoorstepinashortdressthatcametomid-thigh.Itwasblackwithflowersonit,short-sleeved,verydemureexceptfortheneckline.Mygazesnaggedonhernecklace,asilverlocketrestingonahintofhercleavage.
Soft.Smooth.Myfingerstwitchedwiththeurgetograzeherneckline,skimoverthesmoothskinandtracedowntofurther.
BloodracedtomycockbeforeIcouldtearmyfocusuptoherface.Iinhaledsharply.Iwasstandingatmyfrontdoor,hardandwearingsweatpants,anunfortunatecombination.
“Hi,”Irepeated,gazereturningtohercleavage.Shealwaysworehighernecklines,Ithought.HadInoticedhertitsbefore?Standingthere,theywereallIcouldnotice.“Thecaterersaren’tevenhereyet.”Itensedmythighs,somethingIhadreadoncehelpedpullbloodawayfromaninconvenienterection.
Itoremygazeuptoherface,onlytofindherstaringatmybarechestwithalookIcouldonlydescribeashungry.
Mycockwashardagain.
“Um.”Sheblinkedandlookedupatme.Herlidswereheavy.“Didyoujustwakeup?”
“Iwashavinganap.”Iopenedthedoorandgesturedforhertocomein,tensingmythighslikecrazytodispelthebonerwhichwasclearlyvisiblethroughthesesweatpants.
Shewalkedpastmeintothefoyer,andIwasgiftedwithaviewofherincrediblelegs,longandtoned.Ibetherskinwassoft.IbetitwouldfeelamazingtorunmymouthupherthighsrightbeforeI—
“Makeyourselfathome,”Itoldher,halfwayupthestairs.“I’mgoingtohaveaquickshower.”
JesusChrist,Rhodes,getyourshittogether.
Twentysecondslater,Istoodinmyshower,shiveringundertheicywater.
IamnotgoingtobeatoffintheshowerthinkingaboutAvery.
Iwillnotthinkabouthowhertitslookincredible.
Iwillnotthinkaboutrunningmymouthdownthehemofherneckline.
Thedoorbellrangagain.Thatwouldbethecaterer.IreachedforthefaucettoturnthewateroffbeforeIcaughtmyself.Averywouldletthecatererin.Shewasn’tthekindofpersontositaroundandwatch,she’djumpinwherevershewasneeded.Ilikedthatabouther,Irealized.Shewasateamplayer.
She’dprobablytrytohelptoomuchtonight,Ifigured.NotthatIdidn’twantherhelping,butIwantedhertorelaxandhavefun,andputworkmodeasideforanight.ImadeamentalnotetomentionthistoDivincasehesawherloadingthedishwasherorplatingappetizers.
Tonightwasimportant.Ihadinvitedalotofpeoplefromtown—myfamily,myfriends,Avery’sfriends,anyoneinfluential.Itwasimportantthattheysawustogetherinmyhome,andmoreimportantly,thattheysawmeasastable,dependableguy,whohadhislifetogether.Notthehorndogwhocouldbarelykeephisbonerdownlikesometeenager.
DidIhaveathingforAvery?Sure.Ofcourse.Whowouldn’t?Ihadalwaysthoughtshewascuteandfuntosparwith,butIhadneverbeenturnedonbyherlikethis.
Igavemyselfabreak,though.Wewerepretendingtobeacouple,thiskindofconfusioncamewiththeterritory.Itdidn’tmeananything.Ididn’tdorelationships,Iwasn’tthatkindofguy.
Besides,toAvery,thiswasjustadeal.
Iclimbedoutoftheshower.Thekisswesharedattherestaurantflashedintomyhead.Igroanedandrubbedatowelovermywethair.Iwasgoingtogetonemoredo-overkisstogetitoutofmysystemandthenfocusonthecampaign.Thatwasthereasonweweredoingthis,afterall.
AfterIwasdressedandthrewabitofproductinmyhair,Iheadedbackdownstairs.Averychattedwiththecatererandwhilemakingroominmyfridgeforthehorsd’oeuvres.Thebartenderwassettinguponthepatio.Shortlyafter,peoplebegantoarrive.Musicwasplaying.Thedoorbellrang.
“Hannah,hey,”Igreeted,openingthedoor.Sheblushedandhandedmeawinebottle.“Happyengagement.Idon’tknowanythingaboutwine,”sheadmittedwithobviousdiscomfort,wincingatthebottle.
“Well,it’syourluckydaybecauseIlovethisone,”Isaid,reachingouttohugher.Sheseemedsurprisedandblinkedafewtimes.“Comeonin.”
“Yourhouseisbeautiful.”ShesteppedintothefoyerandlookedpastmewithalittlewaveandsmiletoAvery.“Hey.”
Averywrappedherinabighug.“Youcame.”
“OfcourseI’mhere.It’syourengagementparty.”
Behindher,WyattandHoldenclimbedthesteps.“Whoinvitedtheriff-raff?”Iasked.Wyattgavemeafriendlyshoveandwalkedpastmeintothehouse.
“YouguysknowHannah,right?”
Hannahwasfrozen.“Ihavetousethebathroom,”sheexcusedherselfandscurriedaway.
Odd.
“Avery,”HoldensaidtoAvery.
“Hey,Holden.”Shesmiledathim.“Thanksforcoming.”
“I’mnotstayinglong,”hetoldher.“Idon’tlikeparties.”
Shegavehimathumbsup.“Okaythen.”
Later,everyonehaddrinksandaservercircledwithhorsd’oeuvreswhilepeoplemadeconversationandlaughedandmadefunoftheseventiesdiscoplaylistWyatthadputon.Thebartendershookdrinksathismakeshiftbaronthesideofthepatiowhilethesunbegantosetthroughthetrees.
“Howisthecampaigngoing?”mymomaskedaswestoodonthepatio.Wewereleaningagainsttherailing.IglancedaroundforAverybutdidn’tseeher.Shemusthavebeeninside.
“Great,Ithink.”IthoughtbacktoDiv’slatestupdatethismorning.“Ourpollingnumbersareup,andwehavelotsofengagement,lotsofquestionsfromthelocals.”
ThesecondAveryandIgotfake-engaged,mypollingnumbersjumped.Istillwasn’tatIsaac-levelapprovals,whichbotheredme,butDivandIhadspenthoursonthecampaignlastnight,andtherewasn’tmuchmoreIcoulddoexceptkeepmyselfseeninQueen’sCoveandprovethatIwasaresponsibleguy.
Mydadtiltedhisbeeratme.“Divseemslikeagreatassistant.”
“Heis.He’sholdingthecampaigntogether.”IhadmentionedtoDivprivatelythataftertheelection,hecouldhavehischoiceofeitherjoiningmeattownhallasmyassistantorapromotionatRhodesConstruction.
“AndthingswithAveryseemtobegoingverywell.”Mymomgavemeaconfidentialsmile.
“Theyare.”Mychesttightenedalittle,andIglancedaroundagainbutdidn’tseeher.
“Excusemeamoment,”mydadtoldus.“Elizabeth,wouldyoulikeanotherdrink?”
“Thatwouldbelovely.”Shegavehimawarmsmileandbrushedhisarmbeforeturningtome.“Iwassurprisedwhenyouproposed,butIshouldhaveknownyoualwayshavesomethingupyoursleeve.She’llbealovelyadditiontoourfamilyandI’mlookingforwardtospendingmoretimewithher.”Shebeamed.“Ican’ttellyouhappyIamthatyouchoseher.”
Apangofguiltstabbedmeinthestomach.Allmymothereverwantedwasforherkidstobehappy,andIknewshelikedAvery.Iwouldn’tbeabletokeepherfromgettingattachedtoAvery,thatwasjustthewaymymotherwas,warmandkindandwelcoming.Iswallowed,thinkingofhowhardshe’dtakeitwhenAveryandIcalleditquits.Shewouldn’tsayanythingbecausesheneverwantedtoputherworriesonus,butIknewitwouldmakehersad.
Mydadreturnedwithafreshdrinkformymom.“Elizabeth,IbroughtyousomethingweirdthatIthinkyou’lllike.It’scalledaFrench75.”
Mymomtookasipofthechampagneflute,andhereyebrowswentupwithdelight.“Mmmm.Somethingbubbly,somethingalittlesour?”
“Lemon,champagne,andgin.Careful,”Itoldher.“They’restrong.”
“Yeah,youdon’twanttoseeusgetwildorwemightmakeanotherRhodesson.”Mydadsqueezedmymomaroundtheshoulders,andsheshookherheadandrolledhereyes.
Iwinced.“Alright,keepitPG.”
“Let’ssetupadinnerwithAverysoon,”mydadsuggestedtomeandmymom
“Emmett.”Divappearedatmyside,gentlypushingaguilty-lookingAverytowardsme.“Ifoundherbehindthebar.”
Hercheekswerepink.“I’mjustmakingsurehehaswhatheneeds.”
“Thanks,”IsaidtoDivandwrappedmyarmaroundAvery’sshoulders,pullinghertome.
“Avery,congratulationsonbuyingtherestaurant,”mydadtoldher.
“Thankyou,butit’snotadonedealyet.”Hergazecuttomine.
Igavehershoulderalightsqueezeandglanceddownather,intoherdarkblueeyes.“It’llhappen.”Igaveheralittlewink,andshesmiled.
“Haveyousetadateyet?”Mymom’seyesglowedwithexcitement,butshewastryingtokeepitsubduedastonotscareus.
Averywavedahand.“Maybeinafewyears.Wehaven’treallythoughttoomuchaboutit.We’renotinarush.”
“Oh.Well.”Disappointmentflashedovermymom’sface.“That’sperfectlyfine,too.Justdon’tgetmarriedwhilewe’reinEurope!”Shelaughed.
“Right,yourtrip.Whendoyoutwoleave?”Iaskedthem.IlookeddownatAvery.“TheyrentedaplaceinthesouthofFranceforsixmonthsstartinginJuly.”
Avery’seyeslitup.“Amazing.You’regoingtoeatlikeroyalty.”
Samgesturedatus.“Youtwoshouldcomestaywithus.It’sabighouse,lotsofroom.”
“Maybe,”Averymusedwithalopsidedgrin.“I’mnotsureifIcanleavetherestaurantwhilewe’retransferringownership.”Shegavethemapressedsmileandshrugged.
“Maybeyoucandosomelocationscouting,”Elizabethsuggested,wigglinghereyebrowsatus.“AsummerweddinginthesouthofFrance?Whatcouldbemoreromantic?”
Athoughtstruckme.
“Excuseusforasecond,”Itoldmyparents.“Weneedtocheckonthefood.”IpulledAveryintothehouseandthroughtheparty.
“Whyareyoubeingsoweird?”sheaskedaswesteppedintothequietkitchen.
“Ihaveagreatidea.Idon’tknowifyouknewthisaboutmebutI’magenius.”
Shestaredatmeblankly.
“It’sfinetobeintimidatedbymyintellectualprowess.”Ishotheracharminggrin.
Hernostrilsflickeredwithrage,andIfelthappyinside.
“Didyoupullmeinheretobragaboutyourself?”
“No,actually.”Ibracedmyhandsonherarms.“Weshouldgetmarried.”
Shefrowned.“Weare.Supposedly.”
“No.”Ilookedintohereyes.“Weshoulddoitforreal.”
Shefroze.“What?Forreal?Absolutelynot.”
Ishookmyhead.“Wewouldn’tactuallygetmarried,fuckno.Wecouldsignafakedocumentorsomething.Butweshouldhaveawedding.Adams,yousawhowmymomwentapeshitinthereforawedding.Thinkofhowthetownwouldreact.”Isighed.“Mypollswouldshootthroughtheroof.”
“Elizabethdidnotgo‘apeshit’inthere,shewaspolitelyaskingquestions.”
“ThisistheboostIneedtocrushIsaac,”Itoldher.“Ihaveagoodfeelingaboutthis.”
Sheshookherhead.“Emmett,no.We’realreadyintoodeep.I’mnotplanningastupidweddingthatIdon’twant.”
Ileaneddown,closertoher.“Adams,youwouldn’thavetoliftafinger.Itwouldallbetakencareof.”
Sheshookherheadagain.“No.I’mnotdoingit.”
Ipaused,thinking,ignoringhowwarmherskinfeltthroughthesleevesofherdress.Averywantedtherestaurant.Iwasalreadycosigningonherloan,we’dalreadyagreedtoit.Iwasalreadygivingherdouble-panedenergy-efficientwindowsbecausesheagreedtotheengagement.
WhenIwasattherestaurantafewweeksago,Inoticedwaterdamagetopartofthedeck.
Thatwasit.ThatwasthebargainingtoolIneeded.
“Deckrepairs,”Itoldher.“RhodesConstructionwillreplacethoserottingplankssoyoucanopenuptherestofthepatio.”Iwiggledmyeyebrowsather.“Morepatiospacemeansmoreincomethroughoutthesummer.”
Shenarrowedhereyesatme.“Newdeck.”
Iscoffed.“Hell,no.”
Shecrossedherarmsoverherchest.“Thenewplankswon’tmatchtheoldplanks.It’lllookcheaplydone.”
Inarrowedmyeyesbackather.“Ourworkneverlookscheaplydone.”
“Newdeck.”Ourfaceswereinchesapart.
Ileanedinfurther.“No.Repaireddeck.”
WestaredateachotheramomentandIfeltasparkbetweenourgazes.Werewe…goingtokissagain?
Wasthismydo-overopportunity?
“Nodeal.”Sheshruggedandmovedtowalkoutofthekitchen,butIheldherinplace.
“Okay,okay.Newdeck.JesusChrist,Adams,youareatoughnegotiator.”
ShegavemeawickedsmilethatIfeltallthewaydowntomycockbeforeleaninginandrisinguponhertoesuntilhermouthwasclosetomyear.“That’sbecauseIhaveallthepower,”shewhispered,andIshiveredbothfromherwordsandfromherbreathticklingmyear.
Shebrokeoutofmygraspandwalkedoutofthekitchen,andIstoodthere,thinkingaboutwhatitwouldfeellikeifshepulledmyearlobeintohermouth.Ishiveredagain,andmycockached.Jesus.
IhadathingforAveryAdams,andIhadtogetitoutofmysystem.
Tonight.I’dmakeamoveonhertonight.
“Greatnews,”IsaidtomyparentsasIwalkedbackontothepatio.Averystoodnexttothem,andIpulledhertighttome.“Sinceyou’llbeinFranceforsolong,we’regoingtogetmarriedbeforeyouleave.”
Theirmouthsfellopen.
“Honey,that’sgreat,”mymomsaid.“Youknowweleaveinamonth,right?”SheglancedbetweenAveryandme.“Andyoureallyaren’tpregnant?”
Averysnorted.“Ireallyamnotpregnant.”
TheimageofAveryandI,nakedinmybed,methrustingintoherandspillingintoher,flashedintomyhead.Puttingababyinher.
Ineverreallycaredtohavekidsbefore.
TheideaofAverycarryingourkid?Whywasthatsoappealingtome?
Iclearedmythroat.“Wejustdon’twanttodragthisoutforever.Wedon’twantitloomingoverusforacoupleyears.”
“Looming?”mymomrepeated.
Theyfrownedatus,andIglancedatAvery,whogavemeanincredulouslook.Itwasasifshewastryingnottorollhereyes.
“Imean,”Istarted,smilingather,“we’rejustsoinlovethatwedon’twanttowait.”
“Aw,that’snice.”Mydadlookedwistful.
“Doyouhaveadresspickedout?”Elizabethasked.
“Oh.Adress.Right.”Averyfrowned.“IguessI’mgoingtoneedoneofthose.”
Elizabethlaughed.“IfIdidn’tknowyoutwobetter,I’dthinkyouweren’tinterestedintheweddingatall.”
Beneathmyarm,Averytensed.Iglanceddownather,andsomethingpassedbetweenourgazes.Isqueezedhertighter,andshelookedbacktoElizabethwithasmile.
“I’veneverreallybeengoodatweddingstuff,”shesaid.
Elizabethpulledoutherphone.“Let’sgotoWeddingBellsinVictorianextweekend.”
“Sorry?”Averyblinked.
“Weddingdressshopping.I’mcomingwithyou.”Shelookedup.“Iassumeyourmomwillbethere,too?It’llbenicetomeether.”
Averytensedagain.Instinctively,myhandmovedfromherarmtothetopofhershoulderandmythumbbrushedtheskinjustabovehercollar,whereherneckmethershoulder.Whywasshegettingworkedupabouthermomgoingshoppingwithher?Itdidn’tseemlikeabigdeal.
“Idon’tthinkshecanmakeit,it’sprettyshortnotice,”shesaid.
Mydad,alwaystheastuteone,pickeduponAvery’sdiscomfort.“Iheardyoutwopaidavisittoourlocalturtleemporiumtoday.”
“Gross,”Itoldthem,andmymomgrinned.
Avery’seyeslitup.“Ohmygod,Itotallyforgot.Onesecond.”Shepulledawayfromme,andIlether,butshereturnedasecondlaterwithastackofphotographs.Sheheldoneup.“Elizabeth,it’syou.”
Mymomtookonelookatthephotoandstartedhowling.SamtookanotherphotographfromAveryandthrewhisheadbacklaughing.
“What?”Iasked.
Holdenwalkedoutontothepatio,lookedoverElizabeth’sshoulder,thenatme,thenbackatthepicture,andgrinned.
“What?”Idemanded.
“IstoppedbyDon’splaceonmywayhere,”Averytoldme.“Heprintedoutthepicturesforme.”Sheclosedhereyesbrieflyandshookherheadinsatisfaction.“Andtheyaregood.”
“What’sgoingon?”Wyattasked,takingthephotofrommydad.“Oh,dude,”hesaid,laughingandlookingatmewithpity.“You’lldoanythingtowin,huh?”
“Ididn’thaveachoice,”Itoldthem,speakingabovetheirlaughter.“Averysetmeup.”IcringeddownatthepictureofAveryandI,turtleshelduptoourfaces.ThecamerahadcapturedAvery’spuremirthandmycoldfear.
Thankfully,thecaterersignaledthatdinnerwasready,soweheadedinside.
“Wehaven’treallytalkedaboutthewedding,”Averymurmuredtomejustbeforethepatiodoorinside.Myarmwasstillfirmlyaroundhershoulders.Ididn’tthinkshe’dkeeptryingtohelpduringdinner,butIcouldn’tbesure,andbesides,welookedlikeagreatcouplewithmyarmaroundher.Pictureperfect.Shewaswearingperfumetonight,somethinglightandcitrus,orangesmaybe,withaspicynotethatIcouldn’tidentify.
“Divwillhireaplannertoputittogether,”Ipromised.“Wedon’thavetoworryaboutathing.”
“Okay,”sheyielded,frowning.“Butwhataboutthemoneypart?”
Ishouldhaveknownshewouldaskaboutthis.“Whataboutit?”
“Wehaven’tdiscussedthebudget.”
“That’sbecauseit’snoneofyourbusiness.”
Shesnorted.“Um,itkindofismybusinesssinceI’minvolved.HowmuchdoIoweyou?”
Ishookmyhead.“Don’tworryaboutit.”
Shemadeaface.“Emmett.”
“Adams.You’renotpayingforit.”
“Yes,Iam.”
“No.”Igaveherafirmlook.Myfirmest,sternestlook.“Youaren’t.Look,Adams,Idon’tknowifyou’vefiguredthisout,butIhavelotsofmoney.WhoamIgoingtospenditon,mybrothers?Myparents?Ialreadydothat.Mymomhasallthedamnantiqueteapotsshelikes.Noonecanpossiblydrinkthatmuchtea.Ihaveanicehouse,Ihaveanicecar,IhaveeverythingIneed.I’mset.Theweddingmoneyisgoingstraightbackintothelocalvendorsofthetown.Besides,”Isaid,swallowing.“It’sfortheelection,soit’smoneywellspent.”
Shestaredintomyeyes.Ourfaceswereonlyafootapart.“Idon’tlikethis.”
“Toughshit,baby.Comeon,let’seat.”Iignoredthewayhermouthfellopenandpulledherinside.IguessAverydidn’tgetalotoftoughshit,baby’s,andthatmademegrin.Wetookaseatatthetable.
Thecatererhadaddedafewtablestominesothatthegroupofthirtycouldsitcomfortably,andmyhomewasfilledwithlivelyconversationasthefoodwasserved.Thosestupidpicturesfromtheturtlejailcirculated,andlaughterrippledthroughtheroomaspeoplesawthem.Atleastmyguestswerehavingagoodtime.AverywaschattingwithHannahandafriendofminefromthetowncouncil,engrossedinaconversationaboutrarebooks.Itwasnicetoseeherrelaxlikethis.
Icaughttheserver’sattention.“Couldshepleasehaveanother?”Iasked,handinghimAvery’semptydrink.Afewminuteslater,areplacementdrinkarrived,andAveryreachedoutandtookasip.
“Thanks,”shewhisperedtome,handcomingtomyarm.
Somethingpingedinmychest,likeaguitarstring.Ilikedwhenshetouchedmelikethat,justsomethingsmall,notsexualbutjustaffectionate.Icouldfeelalittlehitofpleasureinmybloodstreamwhenherskinmadecontactwithmine.Iwasn’tusuallylikethiswithwomen.Ididn’tlikewomenlikethis.ButIwasbeginningtolikeAvery,whichwasagoodthing,becausewewerestuckinthisthingforanothermonthatleast.
“Noproblem,”Irepliedundermybreath,andshesmiledandpulledherhandbacktoherlap.
Wheneveryonewasfinishedeatingandtheplateswerecleared,mydadraisedhisglass.
“I’dliketomakeatoast,”Samsaid.Thetablequieteddownimmediately,andeveryonelookedatSam.“Avery,”hebegan,smilingwithwarmthather,theonlywayheknewhow,“Wehardlyknowyou,butdamn,wesurelikeyou.”
Therewasarushofawww’s.Averygrinnedintoherlapbesidemeandonitsown,myarmcameuparoundhershouldersagain.
“YouclearlymakeEmmettahappy,happyman.”Samliftedhisglass.“Welcometothefamily.ToAveryandEmmett.”
“ToAveryandEmmett,”everyonechorused,andaroundthetable,glassesclinked.
AveryandIlockedgazesasweclinkedglassestogether.Therewassomethinginourgaze—camaraderie.Theweaponsweresetasideforabriefmoment,andwewereinthistogether,thishugelieforthegreatergood.Mygazeskimmedoverherprettyface,herbigblueeyes,andthefrecklessprinkledoverhernose.
“Nowkiss,”Wyattcalled.
“Kiss,kiss!”othersechoed.
Avery’seyeswidenedandthecornersofhermouthhitched.MygazefelltoherlipsandthenbrieflytothedipofhernecklineandthatsoftcleavagebeforeIrippedmygazebackuptohermouth.AflashofwhatIhadfeltwhenIopenedthedoorthatafternoonrockedthroughme.Ifrowned.
Thiswasmychance.Mydo-over.Thirdtime’sthecharm.
Myhandcametothebackofherhead,Ipulledhertowardsme,andIkissedher.
Soft.ThatwasthefirstthingInoticed.Hermouth,herhair,herhandsonthefrontofmyshirt,soft.Light.Delicateandgentle,allofit.Myotherhandcametothepartwhereherneckmethershoulderandbrushedtheskin.Sheshiveredbeneathmyhandsandmouth.Myfingerstangledintoherhair,grabbedafistful,andgentlytiltedherheadback,givingmebetteraccesstothatsweet,pliantmouth.Islidmytongueintoher,tastedher,andneedrolledthroughme.
JesusChrist,thisfeltgood.Thiswasso,somuchbetterthanthatchastekissatourproposal.Itshouldhavebeenlikethis.Mytonguesweptoverhersandatinynoiseescapedherthroat.ThatnoisesenteverybloodcellstraighttomycockandIwasateenageragain,poppingbonersoverakiss.Oneofherhandscametomythigh,hernailsdiggingintome,makingmeharder.Igroanedintohermouth.Iwasenvelopedinherscent,amixofshampooandthatspicyorangeperfumeofhers.
Someoneclearedtheirthroat,andwefroze.
Everyonewasstaringatuswithvariousdegreesofwide-eyedshock.
Herpalmletgoofmyshirt,hermouthdetachedfrommine,andreluctantly,Ipulledmyhandsawayfromherhairandneck.Sheshiftedbackintoherchair,facereddening.Iwasmoreconcernedwithhidingtherock-harddisplayofaffectioninmylap.
Wyattraisedhiseyebrowsatme,grinning.“Nice,”hesaid,andHoldenelbowedhim.
“Okaaaay,guesswedon’thavetoworrytoomuchaboutnotbeinggrandparents,”mydadjoked,andtheguestslaughed.
Thecaterersbroughtoutthecake.ItsaidCongratulations,AveryandEmmett!onit.
“You’vebeenpracticingwithoutme,Adams,”Imurmuredinherear.
Sheclearedherthroat,andItookalongslugofmybeer.Myskinwasonfire.Iwasstillhard,sittinghereinaroomwithmyclosestfriendsandfamily.Icouldn’tstopreplayingthatlittlemoanofhers,thewayitfeltundermyhandsasithummedthroughher,thewayitfeltinmymouth.
Ioriginallywantedado-overbecauseourfirstcoupleofkissesweresoterrible.Chasteandquickandbland.Butthatkisstonight?Itwasn’tchasteanditwasn’tbland.Itwastooquick,though,andIwantedmore.Iwantedanothertry.Icravedhermouthonmineagain,asifIhadonelittlebiteofsomethingandwantedtheentireplate.
Ihadtohearthatlittlemoanagain.12Avery
Dinneranddessertwerefinished,mostoftheguestshadgonehome,andtherewasahandfulofussittinginthelivingroom,drinkingandchattingwhenWyattpulledthelacyblackunderwearoutofthecouch.Afewpeopleturnedtomewithbusted!looksontheirfaces.
Mystomachdroppedthroughthefloor.
“What’sthis?”Wyattasked,swingingtheblackscrapoflacearoundintheair.
Holdenchokedonhisbeerandstartedlaughing.EmmettgaveWyattalazy,smuggrin.“Whatdoyouthinkitis,genius?”
Everyonelookedatmewithbiggrins.MyfacewasonfireandshotEmmettalookthatIhopedconveyedyouwillpayforthis.
“Somebodywasgettingbusyonthecouch,”someonesang.
Istoodup.“Ha,ha,yes,oops.That’swherethosewent.I’mgoingtogetanotherdrink.”
EmmettstoodandreachedtograbtheunderwearoutofWyatt’sgrasp,andIpracticallysprintedintothekitchen.
Ileanedmybuttagainstthecounterandclosedmyeyes,exhaling.ThisthingwithEmmettwasgettingoutofcontrol.Hismomwascomingweddingdressshoppingwithme.Myguttwisted,thinkingofhowhereyeslitup.Shewassoexcited.Shedidn’thaveadaughterofherown,allshehadwasboys.Holdenwasagrumpwhocouldn’tstandpeople,Wyattonlycaredaboutsurfing,andFinndidn’tstayinoneplacelongenoughtomeetanyone,letalonegetmarried,soIwasheronlyshotatallthefunmother-in-lawweddingstuff.
Mother-in-law.
Iwassuchanasshole,leadingElizabethandSamonlikethis.Theythoughtitwasreal.We’ddonetoogoodofajobconvincingthem,andnowtheywerehooked.
Shit.
Andthatkiss.
Doubleshit.
Ikeptgettingflashesofelectricitydownmyspine.There’dbeenapressurelowinmybellysincehegrabbedmeandkissedme.Thatkiss.I’dneverhadakisslikethatinmylife.I’dseenkisseslikethatonthebigscreenandreadabouttheminbooksbutneverevendreameditcouldbelikethat.
Iwantedtodoitagain.
Ishiveredandwrappedmyarmsaroundmyself.ThiswasgettingoutofcontrolIwasgettingoutofcontrol.
“Hey,”Emmett’svoicegreetedme,andIopenedmyeyes.
“Yourat,”Ichidedhim,andhegavemeaguiltygrinandtookthespotatthecounterbesideme.Irippedtheunderwearoutofhishands.
“YouknowI’lldowhatittakestowin.ThelookonyourfacewhenWyattpulledthemout,itwasworththatstupidturtlerescue,”hetoldme.
Icouldn’thelpmyself,Ilaughed.“Thelookonyourfaceinthosepictureswasworthmypretendunderwearbeingwhippedaroundthelivingroom.”
Helookeddownatmeandhisgazedroppedtomymouth.“We’reeven,fornow.”
“I’mkeepingthem,youknow,”Ivowedwithdefiance.
“Oh,really?”Hisgazelingeredonmyface,andIfeltitagain,thatzingdownmyspine.Itookasteadyingbreath,butitdidn’tdoathingtoslowmyacceleratingpulse.“Iboughtthosemyself.You’regoingtowearthem?”
Ididn’tanswer.Theconversationhadslippedintodangerousterritory,fast.Thiswasallsupposedtobefake,butthiszingy,electricfeelingdidn’tfeelpretend.
“Whatwasthat,earlier?”heaskedinalowvoice,stillgazingatme.Hiseyesweredarkening.
“Whatdoyoumean?”Iwasbreathless.Mychestwastight,likeIwasonthetopofarollercoasterabouttodrop.
“Thatkiss.Why’dyoukissmelikethat?”Heglanceddowntomymouthandthenbackuptomyeyes.
Igavealittlelaughofdisbelief.“You’retheonewhokissedme.”
Hisgazedroppedagaintomymouthandlingeredthere.Heturnedsohewasleaninghissideagainstthecounter,facingmehead-on.Ilookedawaybuthereachedupandtiltedmychinbacktohim.Icouldn’tbreathe,mybodyfeltsowoundupandtense.Whenhisfingersmadecontactwithmyjaw,Ifeltitrightdownbetweenmylegs.
“Itwasdifferent,”hesaid.
AllIcoulddowasnod.
“Youwanttodoitagain?”heaskedinalowvoice.“Forpractice.”
BeforeIcouldfinishnodding,hishandscametomyhipsandIgaspedwhenhehoistedmeontothecounter,facinghim.Hepushedmykneesapartandmyeyeswidenedatthelookonhisface.
Motivated.Hiseyesweredarkbutfocused.Hisgazeskimmedoverme,notsurewhethertolookinmyeyesoratmylipsoralongthenecklineofmydress.Hishandsrestedonthebareskinofmyknees,andIcouldfeelmyunderweargettingwet.
Holyshit,whatwashappening?
AndwhywasIenjoyingthissomuch?
Hishandscamebacktomyhips,hepulledmetowardhim,puthismouthonmine,andImelted.
Halfofthetensioninsidemesettled,andhalfonlywoundtighter.ThiswaswhatIwanted,butIalwayswantedmore.MakingoutonthekitchencounterliketeenagerswasallIneeded,butthenextsecond,Iwantedmore,faster,harder,lessclothes,moreskin.Oneofmyhandsfistedintohishairandhegroanedandslidhistongueovermine.MyotherhandpulledhisshirttailsoutsoIcouldskimmyhandupwhatIthoughtmightbe—yesitwas!—aridgedsix-pack.
Hepulledmetohimharder,flushagainsthim,andhishardlengthpushedagainstme.
“Oh,mygod,”Ibreathedintohismouth,andhiserectionpulsedagainstme
Heletoutanothergroan.“JesusChrist,Avery.”
Therewassomethingabouthowhishandwasfirmlyinmyhair,holdingmymouthtohiswithnochanceofescapethatmademevery,verywet.Hisotherhandcamebacktomyknee,slidingupmyinnerthigh,closertomycenter.Igasped.Mybodywasonfire.Iwasabouttoexplode.
“They’reinhere,makingababyonthecounter,”oneofEmmett’sfriendscalledatthedoorway,andIjerkedawayfromEmmett.
Emmettwalkedafewstepsawayandleanedoverthecounter.Hisbackroseandfellwithhisheavybreathing.Islidoffthecountertostanding,openedthefridge,andforsomereason,grabbedabottleofhotsauce.
“I’mgoingto…”Itrailedoff.“Yeah.”
“Ineedaminute,”Emmettmurmuredintothecounterwithastrainedvoice.
Inodded.Yep.Thememoryofwhatheneededaminutefor,pressedintome,wassearedintomybrain.
Backoutinthelivingroom,Iplacedthehotsauceonthetableaseveryonebeganclapping.“Foundit.”
Thepartycontinued,andIspentthenextfewhourstryingtoactnormalaroundEmmett.Onceinawhile,ourgazeswouldmeetandI’dfeelanotherpulsebetweenmylegs,butIignoredit.Thiswasanagreement.Itwasn’treal,andIwasn’tsupposedtobefeelingturnedonlikethis.Itriedtopushthefeelingsaside,butwhenEmmett’shandeventuallyrestedonmyankle,Istood.
“I’mgoingtoheadhome,”Itoldthegroup,notlookingathim.
Emmettfrownedandjumpedup.“You’releaving?”
Inodded.“I’mtired.Bye,everyone.”
Iwasn’ttired.Iworkedintherestaurantindustry,Iwasawakepastmidnightregularly,butIcouldn’tsithere,rememberinghismouthonmineandhishandsinmyhair.Itwasdrivingmenuts.
Aroundofgoodbyesfollowedmefromthelivingroomtothekitchen,whereIplacedmyglassinthedishwasher.Emmettwasonmyheels.
“Ican’tbelieveyou’retired.Whataboutallthoselatenightsattherestaurant?”
Shit.Busted.Igavehimalopsidedsmile.“I’vehadenoughsocializingandlying”—Iwhisperedtheword—“foronenight.”
Also,IwasprettysurethatifEmmettkissedmeonemoretimetonight,Iwouldn’tleaveuntilmorning.Thethoughtwassimultaneouslythrillingandterrifying.
HemovedinfrontofmeasItriedtoexitthekitchen.“Whydon’tyoustayintheguestbedroom?”
“BecauseIdon’thaveallmystuff.ThismaycomeasashocktoyoubutIdon’twakeuplikethis.”Igesturedatmyfaceandhair.
“Ibetyoulookcutewhenyouwakeup.”Histonewasteasingandpersuasive
Inarrowedmyeyesathim.Thatkiss,andnowthis?“What’sgottenintoyou?”
Thecornersofhismouthroseinawickedsmileandheshrugged.“Justwondering.”
“Justwonderingwhat?”Igavehimalightpushtomovepasthim.HecaughtmyhandandspunmearoundsothatIfacedhim.
“Whatitwouldbelike.”
Anotherzingofelectricitydownmyspine,andthepressurebetweenmylegsincreased.EmmettlookeddownatmewiththatdarkgazeIsawinthekitchen.
Iwonderedwhatitwouldbelike,too.WhathisskinwouldfeellikeifIstrippedhisshirtoffandranmymouthdownhisflatstomach.Whathistonguewouldfeellikeonmynipples.Whatitwouldfeelliketostrokethehardlengththatpressedagainstmeinthekitchenandfeelhimshudder.
Ididn’tlikethisfeeling,thisoutofcontrol,overwhelmingurge.I’dneverfeltlikethisbefore.SexwasalwaysjustanitchtoscratchbutwithEmmett,itfeltlikemore.ItfeltlikesomethingIneeded.
Itfeltdangerous.
Ishiveredandshookthethoughtsoutofmyhead.Iwashereforonereason—tofulfillmyendofthebargainsoIcouldgetmyrestaurant.Iwasn’theretoplayhousewiththemostattractiveguyintown.
“I’mgoinghome,”Itoldhimfirmly.
“Areyouwalking?”Hefrowned.“Itisn’tsafe.”
“It’ssafe,Iwalkhomefromtherestaurantallthetimeinthemiddleofthenight.”
“Therearecougars.”
Ilaughedandsighed.“I’llcallacab.”
“Noneed,”Hannahcutinbehindme.“I’lldriveyou.Ionlyhadaglassofwinewithdinner,I’mokaytodrive.”
“Great.Thanks,Hannah.”IlookedbackatEmmettwithraisedeyebrows.“Happy?”
Henodded,buthewasstillfrowning.“Nexttime,youstayintheguestbedroom.”
“Whywouldshestayintheguestbedroom?”Hannahasked,slippinghercream-coloredConversesneakerson.
MymouthfellopenandEmmett,andIexchangedanoopslook.
“Hemeanthisbedroom,”Itoldher.
Henodded.“Yeah.That’swhatIcallit.Theguestbedroom.”
Hannahfrownedinconfusion,andwhenshestoopedtoputtheothershoeon,IgaveEmmettawhatthehell?look.
“Emmett’sdrunk,”ItoldHannah,anditwashisturntoshootmethatlook.“Goodnight,Emmett.”
“Goodnight,Emmett.”Sheglancedoverhershoulderathim.“Maybehavesomewater.”
Hegavemeanunimpressedlook.“Iwill.Thanksforcoming,Hannah.”
IfollowedHannahoutthedoor.“Wehavethatmeetingatthebanktomorrow,”Iremindedhim.
“Yep,Iknow.”Heleanedonthedoorframe,watchingme.
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight,Adams.Textmewhenyougethome.”
Hestayedatthedooruntilwegotinthecaranddroveaway.
IglancedoveratHannahwhileshemadeherwaytowardsmyplace.“Didyouhaveagoodtimetonight?”
Thecornersofherlipstuggedinasmallsmile,andshenoddedatme.“Idid.IwasnervousaboutgoingbuthappyIwent.”
Hannahwasthekindofpersonwhowasanxioustoentersocialsituationsbutoftenhadfunonceshewasthere.Shejustneededapush.That’swhereIusuallycamein.SometimesIworriedthatifitweren’tforme,Hannahwouldn’tleaveherbookstore.Sheoftenjokedthatshefeltmorecomfortablearoundfictionalmenthanrealones.
“I’mhappyyoushowedup,too.”Isqueezedhershoulder.
Shebitherlip,andherexpressionshutteredwhileshelookedattheroad.Sheswallowed.
“What’sup?”
Sheshookherhead.“Nothing.”Hervoicewaslight.
“No,it’ssomething.Whatisit?”
Hergazecuttomeandthenbacktotheroad.“IguessI’msurprisedyoudidn’ttellmeaboutEmmett.Hesaidyouwereunsureaboutthetwoofyouandthat’swhyyoudidn’twanttotellanyonebut…”Shewinced.“Ithoughtwewerebetterfriendsthanthat.Iwouldn’thavetoldanyone.”
Myheartsunkinmychest.Fuck.Iwassuchanasshole.
“Iaskedyouacouplemonthsagoifyouwereinterestedindatinganyoneintown,”shecontinued,worrywrittenonherface.“Andyousaidno.”
Thebiggestassholeintheworld.Hannahwassosweet,sokind,soselfless,andsothoughtful.ShewasmyclosestfriendinthistownandhereIwas,makingherfeelliketotalcrap.
“It’sallfake,”Iblurtedout.
Shit.Myheadfellbackontheheadrest,andIsentheratentativeglance.
Shegavemeastrangelook.“Huh?”
“ThewholethingwithEmmett,it’sallabiglie.Wearen’tengaged,wearen’tevendating.”Mywordstumbledout.“Idon’tevenliketheguy.”
Sheblinkedattheroad,lipsparted.Thankfully,wewereonmystreet,soshepulledintothedrivewayofmyplace.Sheparkedthecarwithoutawordandsatstaringupattheoldhouse.Icouldhearmusicplayingandpeopletalkinginthebackyard.
Hannahfinallylookedatme.“Um.Canyouexplain,please?”
Istartedtalkingandcouldn’tstop.Itoldhereverything.Howheapproachedmeandtoldmeabouthislowpollnumbers,howhewantedtowintheelectionbutbeingsinglewashurtinghim,howheagreedtocosignonmyloanifI’dpretendtobehisgirlfriend,howheconvincedmetogetfake-engagedandthenfake-married,allofit.
ToHannah’scredit,shelistenedanddidn’tsayaword,shejustletmeblaballmysecretstoherwhilesheworeacuriousexpression.Finally,whenIwasfinished,Islumpedbackinmyseat.
“Well?”Iliftedmyeyebrows.“AmIdestinedforthelowestlevelsofhellforlyingtoanentiretown?”
Shetappedherchinwithnarrowedeyes.“Maybenotthelowestlevel.”
Isnorted,andshegrinnedatme.
“Anewdeckandnewwindowsisaprettygooddeal,”shemused.
Iwinced.“Elizabethissoexcited.”
“Andyoureallydon’tlikehim?Likenotevenalittlebit?”
Ihesitated.Ididn’t.IknewIdidn’t.Butthosekisses,theyweresogood.Ifeltthemdowntomytoes,totheendsofmyhair,tothetipsofmyfingernails.Iswallowed,thinkingabouthisfingersagainstmyscalpandhistongueslickingagainstmine.Ashiverrandownmyneck.
Ididn’twanttolieagaintoHannah.
“It’sEmmettRhodes.Ofcourse,Ihavealittlecrushonhim.”Ishrugged.“Butit’snothingserious.Really.It’sallfake,it’sallforshow.”
Shelookeddubious.
“It’sallfake,”Iemphasized.“AndI’mreallysorrytodothistoyoubutyoucan’ttellasoul.”
Sherolledhereyes.“WhoamIgoingtotell?IspendmydayswithOliverTwist,HarryPotter,andDaisyBuchanan.Mysecond-bestfriend,besidesyou,isJaneAusten.Yoursecretissafe.”
Reliefsettledinmychest.ItwasHannah,andIknewIcouldtrusther.Ifeltlighter,likemyheavybackpackoffake-relationshipbullshithadbeensetdownforafewminutes.
“Thankyou.Oh,”Iremembered,“weddingdressshopping.Canyoupleasecomewithme?It’snextweekend.”
Herfacelitup.“Sure,I’dloveto.”
“Okay,good.”Ileanedoverandgaveheraquickhug.“Thanks,Han.You’rethebest,youknowthat?”
WesaidourgoodbyesandIwentinside.MomentsafterIsteppedinthedoor,myphonebuzzed.ItwasatextfromEmmett.
???
Yes?Iresponded.
Justmakingsureyougothomeokay.
Istaredatthemessageswithcuriosity.Emmettcaredaboutonething—theelection—sohimbeingsoconcernedaboutmegettinghomeokaystruckmeasodd.
Andmaybemyheartbeatalittlefasteratthethoughtofhimcaringaboutme
ButwhenIthoughtaboutwhatIhadtoldHannahinthecar—it’sallfake,it’sallforshow—Isobered.Besides,Emmettwasthatkindofguy,thekindofpersonwhoaskedhoweveryonewasdoing,askedabouttheirfamilymembers,askedhowtheirworkwasgoing.Schmoozey,Iremindedmyself.Emmettwasallupineveryone’sbusiness,andElizabethhadraisedhimtobeendlesslypolite.That’swhathewasdoing.Hewasjustbeingpolite.
Homesafe.Thanks.Seeyoutomorrow,Itexted.
Goodnight,Adams.
Mymouthtwistedwithruefulpleasureatthesightofmynickname.Hisnicknameforme.Inmybedroom,Ipluggedmyphoneinandgotundressedforbed.AsIpulledmyjeansoff,theunderwearfelloutofmypocketandontothefloor.
Thedecoyunderwear.Isnortedandpickeditup,inspectingit.Thefabricwassoftsilk.Thelacewashighquality.Theylookedlikemysize.Iraisedaneyebrow.Emmetthadputeffortintobuyingthese.Theimageofhimlookingatunderwearonline,orexplainingtoasalesassociateinastorewhathewanted,flashedintomyheadandthepressureandheavinessbetweenmylegswasback.Idroppedtheunderwearliketheywereonfire.
Ispentabouthalfanhourlyinginbedinmydarkbedroom,tryingtofallasleepandfailing.DespitepushingallthoughtsofEmmettoutofmyhead,thepressurebetweenmylegslingered.ThoughtsofEmmett’swarmmouth,thescrapeofhisstubble,thefirmtouchofhisfingerslingered.Thetensionwithinmelingered,andIgroanedinfrustration.
Ineededtofallasleep,Itoldmyselfasmyhandsslippedintomyunderwear.Sleepwasimportant,andwhenIdidn’tsleepenough,Iwasgrouchy,Ithoughtasmyfingersmadecontactwithmycenter.Isighedasmyfingersslidovermywetness.NoonewouldknowthatIwasthinkingaboutEmmettwhenIdidthis.Iwastotallyalone,andnoonewouldknow.Thiswasnormal.Heprobablythoughtaboutmewhilehedidthis.TheimageofEmmettaloneinhisbed,strokinghiscockwhilethinkingaboutme,sentafreshfloodofwetnesstomyfoldsandIsighedagain.
Myfingersmadequickcircles,andwithinmoments,Itippedovertheedgewithpleasure,eyeswrenchedclosedandmouthopen.Ishudderedandwhimpered,rememberingthewayhislengthpressedintomeinthekitchenearliertonight,thewayhismouthscrapedmyneck,andhowtheelectricitysparkedwithinme.Myfingersmovedfast,andeveryounceoftensionwaswrungfrommybodyasIcame.
WhenIwasdone,Isunkintothepillows,catchingmybreath.
Ididn’tfeelbetter.Ifeltempty,andtheneedytwitchinessinmylimbslingered.Istillwantedmore.MymindprotestedbutmybodyneededEmmett’smouth,hishands,hislength.
Wehadbeenspendingtoomuchtimetogether.That’swhyIwasfeelinglikethis.I’dtellEmmettthatweneededtowalkitback.We’dconvincedeveryonewewereaperfect,happy,devotedcouplewithourexcessivePDA,sowedidn’tneedtokissanymore.
Tomorrow.I’dtellEmmetttomorrow.13Avery
“Whatareyoudoing?”EmmettmurmuredovermyshoulderthenextmorningasIhammeredanailintothecampaignsigninfrontoftherestaurant.WhenIhadarrivedtenminutesprior,oneofthewoodenstakeshadsplit.
Heworeawhitet-shirtthatlookedgreatagainsthistan,butheprobablyalreadyknewthat,andknowingheknewthatannoyedme.Mygazeflickedoverthehemofhisshortsleeve,fittedtohisarmsbutnottootight.Icaughtaglimpseofhisforearms.
Iwokeuphornythismorning,andthatmademegrumpy.
Focus,Iremindedmyself.
Wehadameetingwiththebankinanhour,duringwhichEmmettwouldsignonthedottedlineandtherestaurantwouldbeallmine.
Well,notquite.Thiswasjustthebusinessloanportion.KeikoandIwouldmeetinafewweekstosignthepaperwork.Todaywasabigdeal,though.Aftertoday,I’dbeinthehomestretch.AllIhadtodowasholdupmyendofthebargaintoEmmettandplayhisadoringfiancée.
Iwasn’tsurewherestaringathisforearmsfitintothat.
Focus,Iremindedmyselfagain.
“Yoursignisfallingapart.”Ihammeredanothernailinandjiggledtheposttomakesureitwassecure.“Youshouldtakebettercareofthese.”
Hestoopeddowntoinspectmywork.“Where’dyougetthathammer?”
“IborroweditfromJimatthehardwarestore.”Istoodandbrushedmyhandsoff.
Emmettlookedatmewithacuriousexpressionbeforeasmilegrewonhisface.“Thanks.”
Ishrugged.“Ididn’tdoitforyou.”MytonesoundedsharperthanIintended.
“Oh,yeah?”Hiseyebrowwentup.Hedidn’tbelieveme.“Whyareyousogrouchytoday?”Adevilishgrincameoverhisfeatures.“Missmelastnight?”Hewinkedandbithislip.
Irritationspikedinmyshoulders.“Ifyou’regoingtoblockmyrestaurantwiththismonstrosity,atleastkeepitingoodcondition.”
“It’snotyourrestaurantyet,”heremindedmewithagrin,andIfrownedathim.
Hissmilebrightened.“Relax,Adams,everythingwillgosmoothlytodayatthebank.”Hereachedforthehammer.“I’lltakethatbacktoJim.ThanksforhelpingoutontheEmmettRhodescampaign.”Heleaneddownandfastaslightning,tiltedmychinup,andgavemeaquickkissbeforestridingaway,crossingthestreet,anddisappearingintothehardwarestore.
Fromthatfractionofcontact,mypulsehadpickedup.MybodyhadtastedEmmett’smouth,andmybodywantedmore.
Mygrouchinesskickeduponenotch.
Iglancedaroundattheemptystreet.TherewereafewtouristsoutbutnolocalsthatIcouldspot,andthesignhidusfromdinersinsidetherestaurant.
Inarrowedmyeyesatthehardwarestore.WhatwasEmmettupto?Therewasnoonearoundtokeepthecharadeupfor.
ThepressurethatItriedtorelievelastnight?Itwasstillthere.IstaredatthedoorofthehardwarestorethatEmmetthaddisappearedthrough.Iwasstillwoundtight,thinkingabouthismouthonmyneck,histeethscrapingmyskin,hishandsalloverme,hisfingerswhereminewerelastnight.
Shit.IthinkIhadtosleepwithEmmettRhodes.
Ibarkedalaughandclimbedthestepstotherestaurant.Absolutelynot.Onehundredpercentno.Never,ever.
“What’ssofunny?”MaxaskedwhenIsteppedinside.
Ishookmyhead.“Nothing.”
***
“Canyounotdothathere,please?”IaskedEmmettlaterashereturnedtohisstoolatthebarfromgreetingafamilywhohadjustbeenseated.“Thisisafamilyplace.Theydon’twanttoseeyouschmoozingallovertheplace.”
“I’mjustsayinghellotosomefriends.”Hetookasipofwater.“Friendsarepeoplethatyoutalktoonaregularbasisandspendtimewith,”heexplainedslowly.
Igavehimablankstare,whichonlymadehimgrinharderasIwipedthecounter.
“Wow,youarejustawealthofknowledge.Thankyousomuchforsharingitwithme.”
“Foryou,Adams?Anytime.”HeturnedasHoldentooktheseatnexttohim.“Thereheis.”
Holdennoddedonceatmeingreeting.“Avery.”
“Hi,Holden.CanIgetyouanything?”
Emmettlookedaround.“Don’tyouhavestaffthatcantakeourorders?Thisdoesn’tseemlikeaneffectiveuseofyourtime.”
“Relax,JeffBezos,”Iscoldedhim.“Iliketalkingtocustomers.It’scalledcustomerservice.”
Emmettgesturedathimself.“I’macustomer,andIwantyoutotakeabreak,sitdown,andeatlunchwithus.”
Holdennodded.“Joinus,Avery.Ihaven’thadachancetocongratulateyouyet.”Hepaused,thinking.“Congratulations.”
Ismiledathim.“Thanks,Holden.”Amanoffewwordsandabsolutelynopretense.IfonlyEmmettcouldbemorelikehim.Iwouldnever,everadmitthisoutloud,butIactuallythoughtEmmettwasabitbetterlookingthanHolden.Holdenwasabigguy,tallandbroad.Emmettwasabitslimmer,stilltallbuthehadaswimmer’sbody,alllong,leanmuscle.Long,leanmusclethatlookedprettygoodinawhitet-shirt.Toobadhisinsidesdidn’tmatchhisoutsides.Holdenhadhimthere.
“Whycan’tyoubemorelikeHolden?”IaskedEmmett,gesturingtohisbrother.“Menshouldbeseenandnotheard.”Mygazesnaggedonwherehist-shirtstretchedacrossthisshoulders.
ThecornerofHolden’smouthkickedup.Emmettstretchedoutinhischair,takingupasmuchspaceashecould.Hecockedaneyebrowatmewithalittlesmileonhisface.“Yeah?Anddoyoulikewhatyousee,Adams?”
Myfaceheated.Idid,andheknewIdid,andsomehow,thatmadeitworse.
SomethinginmyexpressionmadeEmmettlaugh,andhedroppedtheteasingtone.“Sitwithusandhavelunch.”
“Avery,takeabreak,”Maxurgedme,behindme.“Icantakethebar.”
Itwasthreeagainstone,andmystomachwasrumblingwithhunger,soIdroppedthenotepadandpenonthecounter,andwalkedaroundtheotherside.
Maxpulledapenandpaperoutofhisapron.“Alright,lunchorders.”
“Goahead.”EmmettplacedhishandonmyarmandIignoredthespikeofawarenessatthecontact.
“Salmonburger,please.”Myvoicewastight.
“Holden?”Emmettasked.
“Roastbeefsandwich.”HenoddedonceatMax.“Thankyou.”
Maxlookedupwithhispenpoised.“Friesontheside?”
“Yes—”
“He’llhaveasaladontheside.”EmmettglancedatHoldenwitharaisedeyebrow.“Youdon’teatenoughvegetables,andthesaladsarereallygoodhere.”
MaxlookedtoHolden,whorolledhiseyesandgruntedanacknowledgment.
“AndI’llhavethesalmonburgerwithasidesalad,”EmmetttoldMaxwithasmile.“Thanks,Max.”
“Thanks,Max,”Icalledafterhimashedroppedtheordersoffwiththekitchen.“Doyoualwaysorderforyourbrother?”IaskedEmmett.
Holdenstoodsuddenly,hisphonebuzzing.“Berightback.”
EmmettwatchedHoldenwalkoutthefrontdoorwithhisphonetohisear.“Ididn’torderforhim,Imadeafewadjustments.”Heturnedtowardme,lettinghisgazerakeovermyface.
Mymouthhitchedup.“Right.Adjustments.”
“Theguybarelycooksforhimself,andwhenhedoes,it’ssomethingsadlikeMr.Noodle.”
Mymouthfellopen.“Hey,what’swrongwithMr.Noodle?”
Hegavemealook.“DonottellanyoneyoueatMr.Noodleorourwholecoverwillbeblown.NoonewouldbelieveI’dmarryawomanwhoateMr.Noodle.”
Alaughbubbledoutofmejustasthedooropenedandafamiliarnasallyvoicecutthroughmythoughts.
“Max,”Chuckcalled,snappinghisfingerstogetMax’sattention,whowascurrentlytakingacustomer’sorderatanothertable.“Getmeaclubsandwichtogo,extramayo.”
MaxgrimacedandheldupafingertoChucktosignalhe’dbethereinamoment.
Chucklookedovertomeandraisedhishands.“Hello?CanIgetsomeserviceoverhere?Jeeze.”Heshookhisheadandrolledhiseyes.
Emmettsethisnapkindown,stoodup,andwalkedovertoChuck.Iinhaledsharply.
Whatwashappening?Whatwasgoingon?
“No,Emmett,don’t—”
EmmettsteppeduptoChuck,leaneddown,andsaidsomethingquietlytohim.Heworeapleasant,friendlysmilebuthisgazewashard.Heleanedonehandonthewallandtheotherclenchedintoafistathisside.Chuck’sexpressionchangedfromexasperatedtodefensive.ChuckspatsomethingbackatEmmett.IcouldonlyseethesideofEmmett’sprofile,buthisjawhardened,hishandflexed,andwhateverhesaidtoChuckcausedtheguytolookterrified.
MygazeflickedbacktoEmmett’sexpression.Mylipsparted,studyinghissetjawandclenchedhand,andagain,mymindwasfloodedwithimagesoflastnightinhiskitchen,hismouthfuriousagainstmineandhishandsalloverme.
Ishivered.
“What’shappeningoverthere?”Maxaskedatmyside.“Aretheygoingtofight?”Heloweredhisvoice.“Thatwouldbesohot.”
“Iknow,”Imurmuredbeforecatchingmyself.“Imean,no,wedon’twantafighthere.”
Chucksaidsomethingtohiswifeandthetwoturnedandleft.Emmettwatchedthemleavebeforereturningtohisseatlikenothinghappened.
“God,Ican’tstandthatguy,”Emmettmuttered,readingthroughhismenu.“Ialwaystakeclientsouttorestaurantsbecauseseeinghowsomeonetreatsservingstafftellsmewhatthey’relikeasaperson.Ifthey’reassholes,wedon’tworkwiththem.”Heglancedatme.“What?Youdon’tagree?”
Ifrowned.“No,Ido.You’reright.”
Holdenreturned.“Igottago.”Heslippedhisphonebackintohispocket.“McKinleysite,”hesaidtoEmmettbywayofexplanation.“Awaterlinebroke.”
Emmettwavedhishand.“Go,go.I’llbringyourlunchtotheoffice.”
IsaidaquickgoodbyetoHolden,andheleft.
EmmettandIateourfoodandafunnypeacesettledoverus.Perhapsitwasonlyfunnybecauseitwasbrandnewtous.Peoplestoppedbytosayhello,tosaycongratulations,andEmmettmadebriefsmalltalkwiththemwhileIlistened.Iwatchedhowpeopleinteractedwithhim,howtheywantedtosharewithhim,andhowherememberedsmalldetailsabouttheirlives.Ifhewasschmoozing,hewasdamngoodatit.Isuspectedthatmaybehewasn’tschmoozing,though.MaybethiswasjustEmmett.
Icouldn’tstoppicturingthewayhisjawtensedandhisfistclenched,howhotEmmettlookedwhenhewasmad.Hotenoughtothreatenthiswholeplanwehadconcocted.Iwouldhavetobevery,verycarefulfromhereonout.
“You’reactuallyinterestedinpeople.”Itiltedmyheadathimaftersomeonefromhiscompanyhadjustleft.“Youactuallycareaboutthesepeople.It’snotanact.”
Hegavemeanamusedlook.“Ofcourseit’snotanact.”Hecheckedthetime.“Weshouldgo.”
Inoddedandmovedtoclearourplates,butEmmettputhishandonminetostopme.
“It’sfine,”Itoldhim.“Maxisbusy.”
Maxappearedatmyside.“I’vegotit.”
“Thanks,Max,Iappreciateit.”Emmettwrappedhishandaroundmineandpulledmetowardsthedoor.“Comeon,Adams,let’sgogetyouarestaurant.”14Avery
“Everythingseemstobeinorder,”Harold,theloanspecialist,toldusinhismonotonevoicebeforeheclearedhisthroat.“Ms.Adams,ifyou’llpleasesignthere,”hesaid,pointingtothelineformysignatureonthepaperwork.
Ileanedforwardandscrawledmyname.Haroldnoddedwithsatisfaction.
“AndMr.Rhodes,ifyou’llpleasesignthere,”Haroldsaid,pointingtothelinebesidemyname.
Emmettleanedforwardandpaused.
Thiswasit.Thiswasthemomenteverythingwentwrong.Ihadbeenwaitingforthismomentallday.Thefloorwasabouttofallthroughorthere’dbeanearthquakeorthepenwouldexplodeinhishand.SomethingwouldgetinthewayofEmmettcosigningonmyloan.
Hegavemeaquick,cheekygrinandsignedhisnameinscratchyloopsbeforesettingthependown.
“Verygood.”Haroldcollectedthepapers.“Thankyouforyourbusiness.”
Iwaited.“That’sit?”
Haroldblinked.“Wereyouexpectingsomethingelse?”
Emmettraisedaneyebrowatme,amused.
“No,Iguessnot.”Ishrugged.
Itwasn’tsupposedtobethiseasy.Ididn’tevenhavetoworkforit.Yes,IhadtoendureEmmettandplaypretendwithhimbutlet’sbereal,itwasn’tthatdifficult.
AndnowIhadtheloan,soIcouldbuytherestaurantassoonasKeikoreturnedfromhermostrecenttriptoVancouver.
HaroldwovehisfingerstogetherandlookeduncomfortablewhileEmmettstoodup.
“We’llgetoutofyourhair.Thanks,Harold.”Emmettreachedformyhand.“Comeon,darling.”
IstaredatwhereourhandswerejoinedasIlethimleadmeoutofthebank,butjustbeforethedoors,someonecalledhisname.
“Emmett,”awomanabouthismom’sagesaid,walkinguptous.“DoyouhaveamomenttosigntheBackpackBuddiespaperwork?”
“Sure.”Heturnedtome.“I’lljustbeasecond.”Hisfingersbrushedmyarmbeforeheheadedover.
Iwaitedoutsideandafewminuteslater,hejoinedme.“Sorryaboutthat.”
Ishookmyhead.“Noproblem.What’sBackpackBuddies?”
“It’snothing.I’mhungryagain.”Henoddedhischintothemainstreet,wheretentsandboothshadbeensetupwithlocalfoodandcrafts.“Let’swanderthroughthefarmer’smarket.”
Somethinginhisexpressioncaughtmyattentionthough.Embarrassment?Hewouldn’tmeetmygaze.Hewasveryfocused
“Whatisit?”Ipressed.
Heshookhisheadagainandgrabbedmyhand.“Nothing.Doyouthinktheyhavethosewafflesagain?”
Withmyotherhand,Islippedmyphoneoutofmybackpocketandgoogled‘backpackbuddies.’
“BackpackBuddiesisaschoolprogramonVancouverIslandthatprovidesbackpacksoffoodforlow-incomeschoolchildrensotheymayhavenutritiousmealsforeveningsandweekends,”Ireadaswewalkedtowardthemarket,handinhand.Myinsidesmeltedlikeicecreamonahotday.
Emmettgroanedandrolledhiseyes.“You’rereallynosy,youknowthat?”
“Emmett,”Isaidinateasingtone.
Heignoredme.
“Emmett,”Idroppedhishandandtuckedmyselfunderhisarm.“Areyousecretlyagoodguy?”
Hisbrowfurrowed.“It’sforthetaxwrite-off.”
Ishookmyhead.“No,itisn’t.”
Hefinallylookedatmeandmystomachdidaslow,deliciousroll.HisgazesettledonmeandIfeltsocomfortablywarm.“Pleasedon’ttellanyone.”
“Whynot?”
Heshruggedandlookedaway.“It’ssleazy,usingthatforthecampaign.IwanttofocusonthingsIcandoforthetown.”
Icouldn’thelpthesmilethatcreptonmyface.“Alright.Iwon’tsayaword.”
Hesentaquickglancetome.“Thanks.”Histhumbabsent-mindedlystrokedmyshoulder.
“Emmett?”
Helookeddownatme.Thesideofhismouthhitched,tiltingthelittlewhitescar,andmyfingertwitched.Iwantedtotracethatscarwithmyfingertip.
“Thanksforcosigningonmyloan.”MythroattightenedandIhadtheurgetoshutmymouthbutIknewIneededtosaythis.Ifitwasn’tforEmmett,ChuckwouldbeswappingoutTableThreeforastripperpoleandinstallingneonlightsbehindthebar.IcouldgotherouteofkickingmyselfforeverytimeIboughtname-brandcookiesinsteadofthecheapones,everyuselessdollarspentonjewelry,butinstead,IjustfeltgratefultoEmmettfortrustingmewiththeloan.
“IknowIgiveyoualotofcrapbut…”Ibitmylipandgavehimaruefulsmile.“I’dbetotallyscrewedwithoutyou,sothanks.IpromisetodowhatIcansothatyou’reelected.”Iswallowed.“Ireallydothinkyou’ddoabetterjobthanIsaac.”
Hewatchedmewithalittleknowingsmileonhisface,likeheknewasecret.HisthumbstillbrushedmyskinandIfounditdifficulttofocusonanythingelse.“Thanks,Adams.Iappreciatethat.Iknowyou’llholdupyourendofthebargain.”Hechewedonhislip.“Itrustyou.”
Myfacefeltwarm.Thiswasalotofseriousnessforus.
Iswallowedandmygazedroppedtohismouthagain.“How’dyougetthatscar?”
“This?”Hepointedtohislip.
Inodded.
“WyattandIwerehorsingaroundaskidsinthelivingroomandIslippedandhitmyfaceonthecoffeetable.”Hismouthtiltedagain.“Iwishitwasfromsomethingcooler,likeskateboarding.”
Isnorted,lettingmygazelingeroncemoreonthescar,beforegrabbinghisarm.“Comeon,let’sgogetyousomegreenjuice,orwhatever.”
Helaughedandletmepullhimintothefarmer’smarket.
Wewanderedthroughthebooths,sayinghellotothevendorsandbuyingveggiesfromlocalfarms.Therestaurantpurchasedfrommanyofthevendorsbuttheywereusuallysobusyondeliveriesthatwedidn’thavemuchtimetochat,soitwasnicetohaveafewmomentstocatchup.Emmettshookhandsandheldbabiesthatwerepushedintohisarmsandtastedthesamplesthatwerethrustintohismouth.
“Doyouwanttobuyaraffleticket?”ateenagegirlasked,holdingastringoftickets.“We’reraisingmoneyforourprom.”
“Sure.”Ifishedoutmywallet.
“I’llbuysome,too,”Emmetttoldher.“When’stheprom?”
Sheacceptedourmoneyandhandedtheticketsover.“It’stomorrownight.”
Wethankedherandwanderedontothenextbooth.
“Iworeafloor-lengthicebluedresstomyprom,”ItoldEmmett.“MyfriendsandIcouldn’tgetalimobecausetheywereallbookedupsowerentedahorseandcarriage.”
Henoddedaquickhellototheboothownerandgrinnedatme.“Thatsoundsfun.”
“Itwas.Whataboutyou,whatwasyourpromlike?”
Heshrugged.“Ididn’tgotomine.”
Irearedback,touchinghisarm.“I’msorry,what?Youdidn’tgotoyourprom?Wereyouinthehospitalorsomething?”
Thesideofhismouthhitchedupasheglancedoverthelittlejarsofhoneyonthetable.“Nope.Itjustdidn’tworkout.”
Ifollowedhimtothefruitstand.“Whatdoesthatmean?”
“Mygirlfriendinhighschoolbrokeupwithmethedaybefore,”hesaidwitharuefulsmilewhileheplacedapplesinabag,“andIdidn’twanttogotopromandwatchhermakeoutwithanotherguy.”
Ifrowned.Insidemychest,myhearttwistedforhim.“That’sterrible.Whatashittythingtodo.”
Heshrugged.“It’sfine,itwasforthebest.They’rehappilymarriednowsoIcan’tblamethem.AndIthinkhehadacrushonherforawhileandIdidn’tknowit.”
“Ican’tbelieveyouhadagirlfriend.”Igavehimalittleteasinggrin.“Thoughtyouweren’tthatkindofguy.”
Helaughed.“Yeah,well,Nathelpedmefigurethatoutfast.”
Recordscratch.Ipaused,narrowingmyeyes.
“Nat?Will’sNat?”
Henodded.“Yep.Will’sNat.”
“Wow.”SoEmmettdatedagirlandthenshedumpedhimforhisbestfriend.“Whatdoyoumean,shehelpedyoufigureitout?”
Myheadracedwithideas.Pregnancyscare?DidEmmettgetNatpregnant,shewantedtokeepitandhedidn’t?TheideaofEmmettgettinganyoneelsepregnantsentjealousragethroughmyveins.
Hesuckedinabreathandinspectedtheappleinhishandbeforetuckingitinthebag.“Shehadaplan,shewantedafamilyonedayanddidn’tseemeasthekindofguywhocouldprovidethat.Ididn’tcareaboutthatkindofstuff.”
Myheartsplitinhalf,thinkingofateenageversionofEmmett,ganglyandyoung,sittinghomealoneonhispromnight,thinkingabouthowhewasn’tgoodenoughforNat’slifeplan.
Hesawmysadexpressionandlaughed.“Adams,it’sfine.Really.Sheapologizedyearslaterfordumpingmethenightbeforeprom.Besides,Ilikebeinganuncle.Will’samuchbetterdadandhusbandthanI’deverbe.”
Myhandcametomychest,hearingthosewords.IsthatwhyEmmettdidn’twantarelationship?Becausesomeonedidn’twanthim,shewantedWillinstead?
Iknewtheywerejustteenagerswhenthishappened.Iknewthis.IalsoknewNatwasalovelyperson.SheandWillhadbeenintotherestaurantfordatenight,andshewasfriendly,polite,andpatient.Peoplemademistakes.IhaddonethingsIwasn’tproudof.
ButshehadalsomadeEmmettfeelpain.Shemadehimfeellikehewasn’tworthy.
Inanuglyplaceinthebackofmymind,Iwonderedifhestillhadathingforher.Theywerebothintheirmid-thirtiesandfromwhatIhadseen,WillandNatwerehappilymarried.IhadneverseenEmmettandNattogether,though.Maybehestillcarriedatorchforher.
AnideastruckmeandIbrightenedup.“Whatareyoudoingtomorrownight?”Iaskedhim.
“Wehavedinnerwithmyfamily,remember?”
“Right.”Elizabethhadcalledandinvitedustodinnerattheirplacetomorrow.Thewholefamilywouldbethere.Actually,thismightstillwork.“I’llberightback.”
Hegavemeacuriouslookbutnodded,andIwalkedawayandpulledmyphoneout.AfteraquickcalltoMiri,duringwhichsheaskedmanyquestionsabouttheupcomingweddingthatIwasn’tabletoanswer,IaskedhermyownquestionsandfinallyreturnedtoEmmett,whowaspayingthefruitvendor.
“Ihaveapropositionforyou,”Itoldhimaswewanderedtothenextstand
“Okay.”Heraisedaneyebrowatme.
“Let’sgotopromtomorrownight.”Iwiggledmyeyebrowsathim.“Wecangetalldressedup,rentalimo,awkwardlyslowdanceamidstthescentofteenlust,it’llbesofun.”
Helookeduncertain.“Idon’tknow.”
“Comeon,”Ipleaded.Iloopedmyarmthroughhisaswewalked.“Ipromiseit’llbefun.Andagreatcampaignopportunity.Isaacnevervolunteersaroundtown.Also,it’llmakeMirisohappy.”
Hisgazelingeredonmeandhesmiled.“Well,ifit’llmakeMirihappy.”
Inodded,feelingflushedandexcited.“Itwill,itreallywill.Thisisgoingtobegreat.”15Emmett
IparkedoutsideAvery’splacejustbeforeeight.DinnerwithmyfamilyhadbeenmovedtoanothernightaftermymomfoundoutaboutAveryandIgoingtoprom,andafterDivhadinformedmethattheonlylimointownwasbookedbyagroupofteenagers,mydadhadinsistedthatIpickAveryupinhisPorsche.
Itwasanemerald-green1989Porsche911,andmydad’sprideandjoy.Mydadwasasimpleguy,notmaterialisticatall,oftenworet-shirtswithsmallholesinthem.Allhisclotheswerepurchasedbymymotherandgrowingup,hehadtaughtustofixsomethinginsteadofbuyingsomethingnew.Butthiscar,helovedthiscar.Henormallykeptitinthegarageunderacoverandonlydroveitoutwhentherewasabsolutelyzerochanceofrain.
IhadbeggedhimtotakethecartopickNatupforprom,seventeenyearsago,andfinally,hehadrelented.
Myshoulderstensed,thinkingaboutthatday,andIshookmyheadtomyselfasImademywayupthegravelpathbesideAvery’shouse.Itwasseventeenyearsago.Itwasn’tabigdeal.
SomethingcrunchedundermyfootasIturnedthecornerintothebackyard—abeercan.Therewerealotofthem,strewnaroundtheyard.
“Hey,bud.”Aguyinhistwentieswithshoulder-lengthblondhairandanunbuttonedHawaiianshirtperchedonthewallborderingasmallpatio.Afewotherguyssatonlawnchairsheldtogetherwithducttape.IrecognizedtheHawaiianshirtguy,heworkedforWyattatthesurfshopinthesummers.Therankysmellofweedhungintheair.
Summerworkers.TheyflockedtoQueen’sCoveforthewaves,babes,andparties.I’dhavebetthishousewassubdividedintoatleastfourrentalunits,andnoneofitwasdonetocode.
Itiltedmychinathim.“Hey.”
“Nicesuit.YouheretopickupLazer?”heaskedwithasmirk.
Iraisedaneyebrow.“Lazer?”
HepointedupstairsatAvery’sapartment.“Thechick’sanaturalatbeerpong.”Hemimedthethrowingmotionandmadeapewnoise.“Likealaser.”
Somethingpossessiveandgrumpyflaredinmychest.
Normally,I’dstoptochatwiththeseguys.Askthemwherethey’refrom,howlongthey’reintown,howaretheylikingithere,yadayada.Ilikedchattingwithpeople.Ilikedgettingtoknowpeople.
TherewassomethingaboutthisguyIdidn’tlike,though.Ididn’tlikethathehadanicknameforAdams.Ididn’tlikehowmuchIdidn’tlikehim.Iwasn’tlikethis.Thiswasn’twhoIwas.
“Whoareyou,heraccountant?”oneofhisfriendsaskedandtheydissolvedintolaughter.
TheguystoppedlaughingwhenherealizedIwasgivinghimmymostintimidatingglare.TheoneIusedwhenclientstriedtoswindleRhodesConstructionoutofpaying.Mynofuckingwaylook.
“I’mherfiancé.”Myvoicewasgritty.
Hawaiianshirtguy’seyebrowsrose.“Forreal,bro?”
“Forreal.”IclimbedthestairswithoutanotherwordandopenedAvery’sfrontdoor.
“Honey,I’mhome,”IcalledasIsteppedinside.MypulsepickedupasIhadclimbedthestairs.MaybeIwasnervousaboutprom,whichwasstupidbecauseitwasadanceforteenagers,whatdidIhavetobenervousabout?
“I’malmostready,beoutinasecond.”Hervoicecamefromanotherroom.
Iwanderedfurtherintothelittleapartmentandsearchedforaglass.Thefirstcabinetwasfilledwithinstantnoodlepackages.Ishookmyheadwithdisappointment.Sad.Sosad.Thedrawerbelowwasstuffedwithtakeoutmenus,chopsticks,andsoysaucepackages.
Herfridgewasevenmorebarren.Mustard,oatmilk,andacartonofeggs.
“Youeatlikeafratboy.”
“Stopsnooping!”shecalledback.
Ifinallyfoundaglass,pouredmyselfsomewater,thenwanderedintothelivingroomandtookaseatonthecouch.WherewasherTV?Alaptoplayonthefloorbesidethecouch,pluggedinandcharging,andabigbookonvintagefashionsatonthescratchedwoodencoffeetable.Thewallswerebarren.Thisplacelookedlikecollegehousing,temporaryandblandandexpressionless.
“Thanksforwaiting.”Shebreezedpastmeintothelivingroom,andIcaughtthescentofherspicycitrusperfume.Myheadwhippedinherdirection.Sheworeafloor-lengthemerald-greenvelvetdresswithtinylittlestraps.Herhairwaslooseandwavyaroundhershouldersandmyfingerstwitchedwiththeurgetotouchher.Sheturnedandlookedatme,sittingonthecouchandmygazedroppedtowherehernecklineplunged.
Shegavemeanappreciativeeyebrowwiggle.“Youlookgood.”Shewinked.
Lustrattledthroughmelikeafreighttrain,andIclenchedmyhandsatmyside.Mycockachedwiththeneedtohaulherintoherbedroomandsinkdeepintoher.Icouldn’ttellwhatshehaddonewithhermakeup,butshewasgorgeous.Naturalandsweetandpretty.Adelicatesilverchainhungaroundherneck,andmygazesliddowntotheslightcleavageaboveherneckline.Wasshewearingabra?Icouldn’ttell.
Ifrowned.Wherehadthatcomefrom?JesusChrist,Rhodes.Iclearedmythroatanddraggedmygazeawayfromher.Anywherebuther.Thewall.Thewallwasagoodplacetolook.
Mygazewasbacktohertits.JesusChrist,Adamswashot.Shealwaysworethoseblazersovert-shirts,Icouldn’tseeanything.Ibethertitswereincredible.Ibettheyfeltincredible.
Wait,shesaidsomething.“What?”Iaskedher,swallowingandtryingtoignorehowhardIwas.
Shegavemeafunnylook.“Isaidyoulookgood.Thatsuitlooksgreatonyou.”
“Thanks.”Myvoicesoundedhoarse.
Thinkaboutturtles.Turtlesaregross.They’reslimy.
Good.Thiswashelping.
Iclearedmythroat.“Thatsuitlooksgreatonyoutoo.”What?“Imean,youdo,too.Lookgood.Youlookgood,too.”
Shesnorted.“Areyouokay?”
“Yes.”MycockthrobbedandItriednottopictureherinthedecoyunderwearIhadbought.Ireallyshouldn’thaveboughtthose.Whatamistake.Theimageofherwearingthemhadbeensneakingintomyheadatthemostinconvenienttimes.
Averywanderedovertomeandplacedherhandonmyshoulder.HerperfumewaftedintomyperipheryagainandIhadtheoverwhelmingurgetoburymyfaceinherneckandhuffherintomysoul.Sheleaneddowntolookatme,givingmeafront-rowseattohergoddamnincredibletits,rightinmyface.
“Youlookweird.”
“I’mfine,”IraspedasIheldonfordearlifetomycontrol.“CanIhavesomewater?”IjustneededtogethertitsoutofmyfacebeforeIsaidordidsomethingverystupid.
“Youhavesomerightthere.”Shepickedupmyglassandhandedittome.
Right.Shit.Irubbedmyhandovermyfaceandinhaled,tryingtocalmmyself.Mycockthrobbedwithneed.Ishouldhavejerkedoffintheshowerbeforetonight.Ihadbeenputtingthatofflately,becauseIhadasneakingsuspicionthesecondmyhandwrappedaroundmyself,Iwouldn’tbeabletogetAveryoutofmyhead.Getyourheadinthegame,Rhodes.
“Right.Thanks.”Itookitfromheranddownedtheglasswhileshewatchedwithasmallgrin.“Where’syourTV?”Iwasdesperatetochangethesubject.
Sheleaneddowntoslipherheelsonandagain,Icouldn’ttearmygazefromherperfecttits.Animageofmeyankingthedressdownandrunningmytongueoverherpinchednipplesplayedinmyhead.Fuck.
Sheshrugged.“Don’thaveone.”
Turtles.Slimyturtlesstaringatyou.Turtlecrawlingonyourbed.Averycrawlingonyourbed.Shit.No.“Hannahsaidyouloveoldmovies.”Myvoicesoundedfaraway.HannahhadtoldmethiswhenIaskedheraboutengagementrings.
“Iwatchthemonmylaptop.”
“Yourlaptopisathousandyearsold.TheyfounditinanEgyptiantomb.”
Shegrinnedatmeandstood.“Areyouready,ordoyouwanttocontinuestaringatmytitsallnight?”
Oureyeslockedandalaughburstoutofmychest.Busted.“Whynotboth?”Aslysmilegrewonmyface.
Averylockedupandmyhandcametoherelbowaswedescendedthestairs.
“Uhoh,Lazer’sontheloose!”thatfuckingHawaiianshirtguycalledfromthepatio.Hewiggledhiseyebrowsatherandhisgazealsosnaggedonherneckline.
Anygrinonmyfacedroppedwhenhelookedatherlikethat.MyhandslippedaroundherwaistandIlockedhertomyside.
HawaiianShirtFuckfaceleanedinfurthertoherchest.“Isthatthevintagemoonstonependantyougotacoupleweeksago?”
Shenoddedwithenthusiasmandherhandbrushedthenecklace.“Itsureis.”
Heleanedinfurthertolookatthenecklaceandwhiteragefloodedmyveins.“Whatapiece.”Hegrinnedlazilyupather.Myteethgrittedandmyjawwastense.Iwasstaringaholethroughthisguy’sskull.
Athoughtstruckmelikeapunchinthegut.Averyonlyhookedupwithsummerworkers.Ididn’tknowifitwasarule,butitwasageneralguideline.Ithoughtbacktoourconversationaboutdiscretelydatingontheside.
Whatif,atonepoint,shehadsomethinggoingwiththisguy?Whatifshewantedtocontinuedatingthisguy?Whatifshewasjustwaitinguntilweweredonetohookupwithhimagain?
Myjawclenched.Thisassholehadtobetwenty-three,maybetwenty-four.Shedidn’thavetodatetheguy,maybeshejustusedhimforsex.Hewasjustdownstairs,whatcouldbemoreconvenientthanthat?
Anangryragerocketedthroughmyveinsandmyarmtightenedaroundherwaist.God,hehadastupidface.Apunchableface,that’swhatHoldencalledfaceslikehis,allmashedaroundandstupid-looking.Hecouldn’tevengrowaproperbeard.
Anotherfeelingrattledthroughme—possessiveness.OnewordcametomindandmyhandtensedoverAvery’swaist.
Mine
“We’regoingtobelate,”Isaid,steeringherawaytothesideoftheyard,practicallycarryingherawayfromthem.Iglancedovermyshoulderwithmybestdon’tfuckingdarelook.“Don’twaitupforMommy.”
“Bye,guys,”Averycalledback.
Ikeptmyhandfirmlyonherwaistwhilewewalkedtothecar.Whenweapproachedthecar,shewhistledwithapproval.
“Coolcar.”
Iwinkedather,stillfeelingpossessivefromwhathadhappenedmomentsbefore.“Onlythebestforyou,darling.”
“Youknowhowtomakeagirlfeelspecial.”Sheturnedtomeandgesturedatherdress.“Whatdoyouthinkofthedress?DoIlookgoodenoughtobeseenwithEmmettRhodestonight?”
Sheputherhandonherwaistandwiggledalittle.
Mycontrolsnappedlikearubberband.Fuckit
Igrabbedherwaistandhauledheragainstme.Hereyesflaredwithsurprise,andIleaneddowntokissher.
Shegaspedintomymouth,andIusedtheopportunitytotasteher.Iputallmyconfusingpossessivefeelingsbackintokissingher,wrappingmyarmsaroundhertopullherclosetome,tastingher,andfeelingherrelaxagainstme.
Mine
Alittlemoanescapedherlips,anditwentstraighttomycock.Hermouthwassosoftandsweetandpliantandwelcomingandfuckinghell,thisfeltincredible.Myfingerstangledintohersilkyhair,andIgrabbedahandful,pullingandgivingmyselfmoreaccesstohermouth.Igroanedintoherandpressedheragainstthecar.Myerectionpressedintoherstomachandshepressedrightback.Myheadspun.KissingAverywaslikeadrugthatIcouldn’thavejustalittlebitof,Ialwaysneededmore.Icouldalreadyseemyselfinmyhead,strokingmycockintheshowerandthinkingaboutthismomentwithhersweetlittleassinmyhandwhileshemoanedintomymouth.
Myhandslippedupthesoftfabricofherdressandcoveredoneofthoseperfecttits.Igroanedlowintohermouthandthesecondmythumbfoundthatpinchedlittlepeak,shewhimperedandthrustagainstme.Desirewrenchedthroughme.Inearlycamerightthere.
Ipushedmyselfoffherandtookadeepbreath,walkingafewstepsawaytocollectmyself.Mycockstrainedinmypants,desperatetofuckher.Desperatetoknowwhatshefeltlike.Desperatetomakeherfeelgood.
Fuck
Itookasteptowardherandlookeddownather.Herchestroseandfell,andmygazesnaggedonhercleavageagainbeforedraggingbackuptohereyes,whichweredrowsyandheavy.Mycockpulsedagain.
“Youlookgoddamngorgeoustonight,Adams.”
“Thanks.”Shesoundedbreathless.
“Idon’twantyouseeingotherguyswhilewe’retogether.”Myvoicewasgravellyandhard.Iswallowedbutmaintainedeyecontact.
Shenodded,dazed.“Iknow.Wetalkedaboutthis.”
WetalkedaboutitbutIneededtomakesureshewasahundredpercentclear.Itookanotherstepcloserandmymouthhoveredinchesfromhers.Herdarkblueeyeswidened.“You’retheonlyoneItouch.Doyouunderstand?”
Shenoddedagainandhergazeslidtomymouth.Shewantedmoreofme.Shewantedmymouthbackonher.IfIlingeredtoolongonthatrealization,she’dbeovermyshoulderasIhauledherbacktoherapartmentsoIcouldtearthisdressoffandshowherwhatIcouldreallydowiththismouth.
Instead,Ireachedpasthertoopenherdoor.Onceshewasinside,Istalkedaroundtotheotherside,gotin,andstartedthecar.Wedrovefortwominutesinsilencebeforesheturnedtome.
“Didyouthink…”Shenarrowedhereyesatmeandalittlegrinappearedonherlips.“…thatCarterandI…”Shegavemeafunnylook.
Iswallowedagain.Thatfuckingguy.
“Emmett,”shesaidinalowvoice,andmycockpulsedagain.
Hersayingmynamethesedaysdidfunnythingstome.Ihearditinmyhead,indifferenttones.Iheardhergaspingit,moaningit,cryingitout.
“I’mnothookingupwithanyone.EspeciallynotCarter.”
“Good.”
“He’stwenty-two.Andtoofrat-boyformytaste.”
Eventhethoughtofherwithsomeoneelsemademewhite-knucklethesteeringwheel.“Idon’tknowyourtype.Maybeyouwantedanoutlet.”
Shelaughed.“Anoutletforwhat?”
Iswallowedagain.Anoutletforwhatweweredoingagainstthecarbefore.Anoutletforwhatwasmakingmehardmoreandmoreoftenthesedays.“Maybeyoujustneededsomeonetohavesexwith.”
“Oh.”ShewatchedmeandIwatchedtheroad.“AndyouthoughtthatsomeyoungguywhosmokespotforbreakfastwaswhoIwouldchoose?”Icouldhearthegrininhervoice.
“Hewaslookingatyoulikehewantedthat.”
Shelaughed.“Yeah,he’sgotalittlecrushonme.”Sheshrugged.“Sowhat?”Hermouthdroppedopen.“Emmett,areyoujealous?”
“Idon’tlikeit.”Especiallynotwithhimlivingbelowher,alwaysthere.Looking…withhisstupideyes.MygazeslidovertoAvery,sittingtherewithherlegscrossedandherarmdrapedoverthedoor.Shehadrolledthewindowdownandherhairflutteredinthewindaroundhershoulders.Herskinlookedsosoft.
“Youare.You’rejealous.”Hergrinwasbackandhergazerakedovermyformwithappreciation.
Ididn’tanswerher.Iwasjealous.SheknewIwasfuckingjealous.Ireachedoutandrestedmyhandonherthigh.Herbreathcaughtinherthroatandhermusclestensedundermyhandforabriefmomentbeforerelaxing.Fuckinghell,Iwassohard.MaybeIcouldjustturnthecararoundandgostraighttomyplace.No.Shit.WhatwasIthinking?Itwasn’tlikethatwithus.Fuckinghell.Ihadneverbeensohornyandangryatthesametime.
“Youdon’thaveanythingtoworryabout.”Hervoicewassoft.
“Good.”Iglancedatherandthenbacktotheroad.“Ifyouneedanoutlet,youcallme.I’llmakeyoucomeharderthanheevercould.”
Ashiverrolledthroughher.Herthighstensedandpressedtogetherundermyhand,andwelockedeyes.Hermouthparted.“Noted.”
Iturnedbacktotheroad.WhatwasIdoing?WhatAveryandIweredoing,itwasacontract,andnowIwasgettingjealousandtellinghernottoseeotherguys?TellingherI’dmakehercomehard?IremovedmyhandfromAvery’sthighandimmediatelywantedtoputitback,butthiswasn’twhatshesignedupfor.GuiltandfrustrationhitmedeepinmygutandIfrownedasIdrove.
Averyflickedtheradioonandwearrivedattheschoolafewminuteslater.Ikeptmyhandonherbackaswewalkedinside.
Thepromwouldbeheldinsidetheschoolgymnasiumandonlyafewteachershadarrived.Thelightshadbeendimmed,afewdiscoballshadbeenstrungup,andgoldandblackballoonsfloatedintheair.AsongIrecognizedfromtheradioplayed.AverysqueezedmyarmandIfeltathrillinmychest.
“Oh,mygod.Thisissocool.”Shegrinnedatme,andhereyessparkled.“Thankyousomuchforagreeingtothis.”
Inearlylaughed.Iwastheluckyone.Icouldn’tevenrememberwhyIhesitatedsayingyestothis.
Right.BecauseNathaddumpedmethedaybeforeandgonewithmybestfriend.
Iwaitedforthepanginmychestatthememory,butitdidn’tshowup.Averyshiftedtowardsme,andtheplushvelvetofherdressbrushedmypalm.
Ilookeddownatherandsmiled.“Noproblem.”Itfeltlikeanunderstatement.
“Don’tyoutwolookgorgeous.”Miriapproachedwithhereyeslitup.“Youlooklikemoviestars.I’mgoingtostickyoutwoatthedrinkstable.”
Theteenagersbegantopourinandtheenergyinthegymbuzzed.AveryandIwereoccupiedforthenexthouratthedrinkstable,pouringpunchandhandingoutnapkins.Itwasfun,surprisingly.Ididn’tthinkthiswouldbefunbutitwas.ThekidswereexcitedandAverywasenjoyingherself,chattingwitheveryoneandadmiringthegirls’dressesandhairstyles.Scottdroppedbytosayhello.
“Takeabreak,”Miritoldus.“I’lltakeoverfromhere.”
Averyhandedoffanotherglassofpunch.“Areyousure?”
“Thanks,Miri.”Ididn’twaitforMiri’sanswerandpulledAverytowardthedancefloor.“Comeon,let’sshowtheseteenshowawkwardwecanbe.”
Shelaughedandletmeleadheroutthere.Igrabbedherhandandspunheraround,andwhenshesmiledatme,myheartflippedinmychest.Goddamn,shewasgorgeous.
Wedancedafewsongsbeforeaslowsongcameonandmyhandscametoherwaist.
“Adams,willyouslowdancewithme?”Iaskedherinalowvoice,pullinghercloser.
Shenoddedandplacedherhandsbehindmyneck.“Ihaven’tslowdancedlikethissincehighschool.”
Ipulledherflushagainstmesothatwewereessentiallyhugging.
“PrettysureweneedtoleaveroomforJesus,”shemurmuredbelowmyear.
“Thisisn’taCatholicschool.”Onehandwasonherlowerback,theotherwasbetweenhershoulders,runningmyfingersoverhersmoothskin.Shesighedandrelaxedagainstme.
“Thisisnice.”Herheadcametomyshoulder.
Myhearttwistedagaininthebestway.Iwasfloating,standinghereinaschoolgymthatsmelledlikesweatandAxebodyspray,withthemostbeautiful,funny,infuriatingwomanIhadevermettuckedagainstme.IwrackedmybrainforwhenIhadeverfeltlikethisbeforeandcameupwithnothing.
Ipressedmymouthontothetopofherhead,andtherealizationhitme.
Aftertheelectionwasover,Averyandmyagreementwouldfinish,andwhateverthiswasthatweweredoing,itwouldend.
Nomoremakingoutinthekitchenoragainstthecar.Nomoredinners.Nomoreofherteasingmewithpicturesoftheturtlerescue.
Myarmsgrippedhertighterandshemadealittlenoiseofcontentmentagainstmychest.
Ididn’twantthistoend.Thethoughtshockedmeasitrippledthroughmyhead,butitwasthetruth.IenjoyedspendingtimewithAvery,evenwhenshewaspissingmeofforpushingmybuttons.Icouldn’twaittoseeher.Mypulsepickedupwheneverwetouched.Ithoughtaboutherconstantly,notjustthoughtsaboutsinkingmycockintoherandmakingherwrithewithanorgasm,butIthoughtaboutheratherrestaurant,howcuteshelookedwhenshewasfocusedonsomething,howprettyherhairwas,andhowmuchIlikeditwhenshemadefunofme.
Shit.
Myfingerspausedinherhairandmythroattightened.
Thiswasn’tsupposedtohappen.Ididn’tdothiskindofthing.Iwasn’tthiskindofguy.ThiswasaWillthingtodo.IwasEmmettRhodes,unattached,bachelorforlife.
Aftertheelection,mylifewithAverywasabigblank.Onebigwashofunknown.Wouldwestaytogether?Wouldwebreakupandonlyseeeachotheronceinawhilearoundtown?Mychesttightenedattheideaofnotseeingheralmosteveryday,buttheideaofstayingmarried,beingmarriedforrealsentastreakofpanicthroughme.
Ididn’tknowwhatIwanted.
WhenWillandNatgottogether,heknewexactlywhathewanted.Hehadeverythingplannedout,evenfromeighteenyearsold.They’dfinishcollege,they’dgetmarried,they’dsaveforafewyears,andthenthey’dstartafamily.
Ihadnoplan.IhadnocluewhatIwanted.AllIknewwasthatIwantedAvery.
TherewasaflashandAveryliftedherhead.Miriinspectedthephotoonhercamerawithasmile.“Justperfect.”
“Doyouneedhelp?”AveryaskedandIpulledhercloser.Ididn’twanttohelp.Ijustwantedtoswayherewithherpressedupagainstmeuntiltheearlyhoursofthemorning.
Miriwavedahand.“We’refinefornow.Comefindmeoncewestartcleaningup.”
Avery’sheadreturnedtomychestandthesongplayedon.Whenitendedandanupbeattunebegan,sheliftedherheadandgavemeahugesmile.“Ilovethissong.”
Ishruggedmyjacketoffandtosseditontoanearbychair.“Showmeyourmoves,Adams.”
Wedancedforanhour,butitfeltliketenminutes.Songaftersong,someslowandsomefast,wemovedaroundthatdancefloor,surroundedbyawkwardteenagerswholaughedatus.Averydidn’tcare,soIdidn’tcare.Allthatmatteredwasthatshewashavingfun.
Atonepoint,thephotographer’slineuphaddisappeared,soIconvincedAverytogetourphototaken.
“Thisisawkward.”SheshookwithlaughterasImadeherstandbehindmeandplaceherhandsonmywaist.
“It’ssupposedtobeawkward,Adams.Ithoughtyouwantedmetohavethefullpromexperience.”
Thecameraflashwentoffandthephotographerlaughed.“Onemore,fortheheckofit.”
Iturned,tiltedAvery’schin,anddroppedakissonhermouth.Anotherflashwentoff,andIshouldhavebrokenoffthekissthere,butIdidn’t.MytongueslidagainsttheseamofhermouthandsheopenedupsoIcouldtasteher.Onehandwasbehindherheadasleverage,theotheronherass.Igrippedandsheexhaledintome.Mycockstiffenedagain.
Thephotographerclearedherthroat.“Next.”
Averybrokeawayfirst.Ablushgrewonhercheeks.“Sorry.”Sheworeadazedlookasshepulledmebacktothedancefloor.
Whenthepromwasoverandthekidshadgonehome,AveryandIhungbacktocleanup.
“Emmett,helpmeliftthistable,wouldyou?”Scottasked,andtogetherwecarriedfoldingtablesintothesuppliesroom.Whenwewerefinished,IglancedaroundthegymforAvery.
“Youtwocangetoutofhere.”Miriappearedatmyside.Scottwalkedbywithapunchbowl.“Scott,honey,thatgoesinthecar.Thankyou.”Sheturnedbacktome.“Thankyousomuchforhelpingout.”
“Miri,thepleasurewasallours.”
“Itsurewas,”Averysaidatmyside.Evenintheuglygymlighting,shewaspretty.Herskinglowedfromthedancing.Shelookedupatme,smilingsoftly.“Hi.”
“Hi.”Myarmcameuparoundhershoulderseasily.“Readytogo?”
Shenodded.
IshotMiriagratefulsmile.“Bye,Miri.”
“Bye,Miri,”Averyechoed.Herarmwentaroundmywaistaswestrolledoutthegymdoors.“Waspromeverythingyouwanted?”
Ithoughtbacktotheteenagedversionofmyself,playingvideogamesaloneonpromnightwhilemyfriendsgotalldressedup,danced,androdeinthelimo.WhatwouldhavehappenedifNathadn’tbrokenupwithme?Iprobablywouldhavehadadecenttime,butnotlikethis.NatandIdidn’tclickthewayAveryandIdid.NatandIwereneversillyandcarefreethewayAveryandIwere.Besides,Willwouldhavebeenofftothesidelines,watchingthegirlhelikeddancewithanotherguy.HehadonceconfessedthathefeltawfulforgoingtopromwithNatthenextday,knowingshehadbrokenupwithme,butIwasquicktoassurehimthatthingshadworkedoutexactlyastheyshouldhave.
Theydid,IrealizedasIlookeddownatthewomantuckedundermyarm.
“Everythingandmore.”
Averyenergizedme.Ihadalwaysbeenhappybeingalone.Ipridedmyselfinbeingunattached,butmybodywantedtobeconnectedtohersatalltimes.Ihaddiscoveredtheothersideofthings.Thisfeelinginmychestwasforeigntome,andIdidn’thaveacluewhattodowithit.
Iknewtwoconflictingtruths:IwantedAvery,andIwasn’tthekindofguywhosettleddown.
Iswallowed,studyinghereyes,suchadeepdarkblue—liketheoceanwhenIwasoutonmymorningrun.
Shecouldcrushme,Irealized.Shecouldsnapmeinhalfwithaflickofherlittlefinger.Mychesttightened.HowhadIfoundmyselfinthissituation?Iwasn’tthatkindofguytofalllikethis,andyet,hereIwas.
Itoldherthetruth.“Thistime,Iwenttopromwiththerightgirl.”16Avery
Wewerejustabouttoexittheschoolwhenathoughtstruckme.
“Yourclassphoto.Iwanttoseeit.”
Hescoffed.“Noway.I’mwaybetterlookingnow.”
Thistime,Iwenttopromwiththerightgirl,hehadsaidtomemomentsbefore.Ikeptreplayingitinmyhead,ignoringthecurlsofdelightinmystomach.
Igavehimasidelonglook,standingthereinhissuit,dashingandhandsome.Ithadtobecustom-made,thewayitfithisbroadshouldersperfectly.WhenIwalkedintomylivingroomthiseveningandsawhimsittingthere,lookingliketheleadofoneofthoseoldmoviesIloved,Icouldbarelyrestrainmyselffromhoppingintohislapandrubbingmyselfagainsthimlikeacat.
“Goodgod,”Isnorted.“Yourcockinessknowsnobounds.Iwanttoseeyourphoto,evenifyoulooklikeadork.Iwanttoknowyou.”
Iwanttoknowyou?DidIreallyjustsaythat?Jeez,thatwasabitintimate.
Hewatchedmewithafunnylook,andIscrambled.
“Tellyouwhat.IfweevergotoVancouver,I’llshowyoumypictureatmyhighschool.Iworeglittereyelinersoyou’reinforatreat.”
Thesideofhismouthtuggedupbuthestillwatchedmewithapeculiarexpression.“WhywouldwebeinVancouver?”
Fantastic,soIhaddugmyselffurtherintothehole.Digup,Avery.Imadeitsoundlikewewouldbetakingatriptheretogether.Likewewouldcontinuethiswhatever-we-were-doinglongerthanthearrangement.Myhearttwisted.
“Imean,ifyouareeverinVancouver.”
Hemaintainedeyecontactandmystomachsomersaulted.
Whenhefinallyspoke,histonewasteasing.“Ican’tjustwalkintoarandomhighschoolalone.I’llgetarrested.You’dhavetocomewithme.”
Agrinspreadacrossmyface.“Deal.”
“Deal.”Herolledhiseyesandgrabbedmyhands.“Comeon,Adams,let’sgolookatpicturesofteenageddorks.”
***
“Ofcourseyouwereclasspresident.”Iranmyfingeralongthecoldglassinfrontofhissenioryearphoto—ayoungerversionofhimwiththesameconfident,smugsmile.“YoulooklikethekindofguyI’dhaveacrushon.”
Earlier,whenIrestedmyheadonhischestandweswayedwiththemusicamiddozensofhornyteenagers,Imeltedintohim.Hewassowarmandhisfingersinmyhairmademesodeliriouslycomfortable,Icouldhavestayedputtheentirenight.
Isighed,staringattheteenagephotoofhim.Andthatkissagainstthecar.Thatkiss.Thewayhegrabbedmesoassertivelyandpressedmeupagainstthewindow.
I’drememberthatkiss.I’drememberitsohardmyghostwouldbesighingthinkingaboutit.I’drememberthewaymybodyclenchedwithpleasurewhenheranhisthumbovermynipple.Allnightsincethatkiss,I’dbeenwoundtightandtense.
TheangelinmyheadsweetlyremindedmethatIwasgoingtospeaktoEmmettaboutpullingbackonthePDA.
Thedevilinmyheaddidn’twanttopullback,though.Shewantedmore.ShewantedEmmett’shotmouthalloverherskin,everywhere.Ashiverrolledthroughmeandthehairsonmyarmsstoodup.
Tonight,I’dinviteEmmettin,andwe’dseewherethingswent.Isawhiminmymind,stretchedoutinmybed,naked,sheetsrumpledandmessylikehishair.Alittlethrillranupanddownthebackofmylegs.Allthatsmoothskinandridges.TheabsIknewheworkedhardtomaintain.Ittookallmycontrolnottodraghimoutofherethatinstant.
Iturnedbacktohisphoto.“Iwouldhavehadthebiggestcrushonyou.”
“Oh,yeah?”Heraisedaneyebrowwiththesamesmuggrininthephoto.
Inodded.“Oh,yeah.”IscannedthroughtheotherphotosuntilIfoundonewiththenameWillHenrybelow.“Aw,andthere’sWill.”
Hepeeredovermyshoulder,andIcouldfeelhiswarmthagainstmyback.“Yep,that’sWill.He’sgotafewmorewrinklesnow,though.”
Isnorted.“Sodoyou.”
“Yeah,butIlookhandsomewithafewwrinkles.”Hewinkedatme.
“Ihatetoadmititbutyou’reright.”Iturnedbacktothephotosandfoundtheonewiththeprettyyoungwomanwithchestnuthair.“Andthere’sNat.”
Henodded.“That’sNat.”
Myearsworkedhardtopickupanythinginhisvoice,anyaffectionorwistfulnessthatindicatedNatwastheonethatgotaway,butIcameupshort.Iswallowedandstaredatherpicture.“Doyoustillhaveathingforher?”ItcameoutmoretentativethanIwanted.IwassupposedtomakeitsoundlikeIdidn’tcare.
Hescoffed.“No.Definitelynot.”Frombehind,wrappedhisarmaroundme.“I’mgladshedumpedme.”Heplantedakissonmycheek.Hisstubblescrapedmyskin.
Iwasgladshedumpedhim,too,asIleanedbackagainsthim.
“Doyoustilltalktohimoften?”
“Everycoupledays.”
“Youmisshim.”Icouldhearitinhisvoice.
“Ofcourse.We’vebeenfriendssincewewerekids.He’slikemybrother.That’swhyI’mrunningformayor.Soheandhisfamilycanmovebackhere.”
Mymindpaused.“Ithoughtyouwererunningsoyoucouldfixtheelectricalgrid.”
Henodded.“Sotheydon’thavetodealwiththepoweroutages.It’salotforthemtohandle.Karashouldn’thavetogrowupawayfromhercommunity.”
IvaguelyrememberedthinkingEmmettwaslikemydad,allschmoozeyandcharming.Mydadneverwouldhavedonesomethinglikethis,though.Heonlythoughtabouthimself.
Emmettwasdoingallthissothathisbestfriend’sfamilycouldhaveabetterlife.Sotheycouldreturnhome.Myfatherneverwouldhavedonethat.
“I’mgettingtired,”Itoldhimwithasmallsmile,holdingeyecontactwithhislightgreyeyes.
“Oh,yeah?”Hisvoicewassoftasheleaneddowntograzehismouthonmyear.
Mybreathcaughtandmyeyesflutteredclosed.“Yep.Exhausted.”
“Weshouldgetyouhome,then.”
Ibitmylipwithexcitement.
Hegrabbedmyhandandpulledmedownthedimhallway,pastthelockersanddisplaycaseswithtrophiesandpictures,pasttheemptyadministrativeoffice,andoutthefrontdoors.Intheparkinglot,Istruggledtokeepupwithhislongstridesinmyheels,sohestopped,bentover,andhoistedmeoverhisshoulder
“Putmedown,youcaveman!”Iyelled,laughing.
“You’retooslow.”Icouldhearthelaughinhisvoiceaswell.
Hepracticallypushedmeintothecar.Icouldn’tstoplaughing,butthepressurethathadbeenbuildinginmeforweekshadsettledbetweenmylegsIwasbreathlessandantsyatthethoughtofwhatmighthappeninmyapartmentinabouttwentyminutes.
EmmettandIweretotallygoingtohavesex.
Ihadtogivetheguycredit—hedrovethespeedlimittheentirewaytomyhouse.
Iturnedtohim.“Miri’sturtlesmovefasterthanyou.Nowwho’stooslow?”
Heshotmeacheekygrin.“Adams,I’malaw-abidingcitizen,andyou’reabadinfluenceonme.”
“Youhavenoidea.”Igavehimmymostdevioussmile.
Hisgazedarkened,andIinhaledsharply,squeezingmythighstogether.MycenterpulsedandIbitmylip,staringoutthewindow.Thiswassoon.ThetensionhadbeenbuildingbetweenEmmettandI,andnowweweregoingtoletitfreeandhavethebestsexever.Ijustknew,lookingathim,thewayhemoved,soconfidentandself-assured,thathewasgoingtotearmydressoffthesecondwegotinsidemyapartment,probablybeforeIevenclosedthedoor.
Heparkedthecarinfrontofmyplace,andIwashalfwayupthepatharoundthesideofthehousebeforehehadturnedtheengineoff.Hejoggedtocatchupwithme.
“Ihopeyourlittlefriendwearsearplugs,”hesaidtomeunderhisbreathasweturnedthecorner.
Isnortedbutstoppedabruptlywhenwecamefacetofacewithalltheguyswholiveddownstairs,standinginthebackyardinthedark,haulingtheirbelongingsoutofthehouseandintoplasticbags.
“What’sgoingon?Didyougetevicted?”Itwouldn’tbethefirsttimesomeonedownstairshadbeenkickedout.
Cartersteppedforward,andEmmettstraightenedbeforehisarmlockedaroundmywaist.Ibitbackagrin—Ikindoflovedhowjealoushewas.IhadzeroplanstodoanythingwithCarter,butIdidn’tmindseeingEmmettlosehismindoverme.
“Badnews,Lazer,”Cartertoldus.“Wehavebedbugs.”
EmmettandIfroze,lookingatallthebagsofstuff,andEmmettpulledmebackastepfromCarter.Icouldfeeltheexpressionofhorrorandhesitationonmyface.
“Um.Gross.”Iglancedupstairsatmyfrontdoor.“Doyouthinkthey’re—”
“Don’teventhinkaboutit,Adams.There’snowayinhelleitherofusisgoinginsideyourapartment.”
Carterwavedhishand.“Bro,I’msureherplaceisfine.”
EmmettgavehimthecoldestlookI’deverseen.“Actually,bro,bedbugscancrawlintootherunitsthroughlightsockets.”
Iwincedathim.“Really?”
Henoddedwithanequallygrossed-outexpression,andIshuddered.Ipicturedliftingupmybedsheets,andseeingthelittledarkdotsmovingaround.Ishudderedagain.
“Idon’twanttogointhere,”ItoldEmmett.“Don’tmakeme.”
“Likehellyouare.Comeon.”Hepulledmetowardsthecar.
“Wherearewegoing?”
“You’restayingatmyplace.”
Wedrovehomeinnearsilence,onlypunctuatedbyoneofusshiveringorgaggingindisgust.Somuchforgettinglaidtonight—anydesireorlustIfeltbackatthepromhaddisappearedthesecondIheardthewordbedbugs,andIsuspectedthesameforEmmett.
“Ifeellikethey’reonme.”Myhandsrakedovermyscalp.“Aretheyinmyhair?”
“Adams,Ican’tlookbecauseifIseeone,I’lldrivethiscarrightofftheroad.”
Iburstoutlaughing.“Thiswastheworstpromever.”
Hestartedlaughingtoo.“Thepromwasgreat,buttheafterpartyisworsethanthetimeIgotdumped.”
Thatmademelaughharder.Iknewhewaskiddingbutourterribleluckkeptmegiggling.Whenwepulleduptohisgarage,Iwasstilllaughing.
WemadeourwayfromthegaragetothefrontdoorbeforeEmmettpaused,tookhisjacketoff,andplaceditontherailing.
“Leaveyourdressouthere,itdoesn’tlooklikeit’sgoingtorain,”hetoldme,undoinghistie,andIfrowned.
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?Whatareyoudoing?”
Hegavemeanareyoucrazylook.“Wewereinsideyourapartmentearlier.Wecouldbecarriers.”
“Ewwwww.Youthinkthere’sabedbughitchhikeronusrightnow?”
“Ihavenoidea,butthereisnowayI’mlettingeitherofusinsidewiththeseclothes.”
Ajoltofexcitementsparkedthroughme.“I’mnotgettingnakedinfrontofyou!”Atleastnotwithoutalittlewarm-up,Ithought.
HetookhisshirtoffandIhadafront-rowviewtoeveryridgeandmuscledownhistorso.Mymouthparted.
“Iwon’tlook.I’mgoingtogoinsideandgetyousomethingtowear,”hetoldme.Hesnortedasmygazerakeddownhisabs.“Seesomethingyoulike,Adams?”
Myfaceburned.Hishandscametohisbelt,andIwhirledaround,facingtheotherway.ThisisnotwhatIhadinmindwhenIwantedEmmettnaked.Stupidbedbugs.StupidCarterandhisstupidgrossfriends,ruiningmynightthatwassupposedtobefilledwithorgasms.Icrossedmyarmsovermychest.
“I’llberightback.”Hesteppedinside.Momentslater,hereturned,stillshirtlessbutwearingsweatpantsandholdingat-shirt.
“That’sit?Don’tyouhaveabathrobeorsomething?Oneofthoseflannelones.”
Helaughed.“What?No.I’mnotseventy-five.Comeon,Adams,it’scold.”
“Iknowit’scold.”Allthehairsonmyarmsstoodonend,butIwasn’tsureifitwasfromthechillortheridgesdownEmmett’sstomach.Iwantedtoscrapemyteethoverthemandfeelthemjump.
Hehungtheshirtonthedoorknobandsteppedbackinside.
“Nolooking,”Itoldhim.
“Iwon’t,Ipromise.I’llmakeussometea.”
Tea.IfIwasn’tsurethatsexwasoffthetableatthethreatofbedbugs,nowIknewforsure.Noonehadsexafterdrinkingtea.Teawastheleasthornydrink.
Isighedandundidthezipperofmydress.ThankgodEmmettlivedintheforest,surroundedbydensefirtrees.ThelastthingIneededwassomecreepyneighborspottingmenakedathisfrontdoor.Islippedthedressoffanddrapeditovertherailingbesidehissuit.Iglanceddownatmyself—underwearandbratoo?
Ididn’twanttogocommandoinEmmett’shome(ordidI?),butIalsodidn’twanttobringanybedbugswithme.Igaggedagainatthethoughtthattherecouldbeonehidinginmybraorunderwearandwhippedthemofflightning-fastbeforeslippingEmmett’st-shirtovermyhead.
Itsmelledlikehim.Woodsy,musky,andmasculine.Desirecurledlowinmystomach.
Thehornydevilonmyshoulderopenedoneeye,awakeningalittle.17Avery
“Peppermint?”hecalledfromthekitchenwhenIclosedthedoor.
“Sure.”Maybewecandoourtaxesandmealplanningwhilewe’reatit,Ithoughtwithdisappointment.Sexwasoffthetable.SomuchforthatdressIhadpickedoutspecificallybecauseofthecleavageitgaveme.
Hehadhisbacktomeinthekitchen,pouringhotwaterintomugs,butwhenheturned,hisgazesnaggedonmybarelegs.Hist-shirtwasbigonmebutstillonlycametomythighs.
Hisgazedarkenedbeforeheblinkeditawayandplacedamuginfrontofme.
“Thanks.”
“Anytime.”
Istoodthere,bitingmylip,debatingwhetherIshouldask.Coldairwasbrushingagainstmyladyparts.Iwasn’tusedtogoingcommando.
“What?”Heraisedaneyebrow.“Whatisit?”
“Doyou—”Mywordsbrokeoff.Ididn’twanttoask.Icouldfeelmyfaceheating.
“What?”
“Doyouhaveanymoredecoyunderwear?”
Alittlegrintwistedontohismouth.“Decoyunderwear?Yougoingcommandorightnow,Adams?”
Myfaceburned.“Icangogetthemifyoudon’tmindCarter’sbedbugs.”Iwhirledaround,andhecaughtmyarmwithhishand.
“Don’tyoudare,”hesaidwithahuskylaugh.“No,Idon’thaveanymoredecoyunderwear.You’llhavetodowithout.”Hishandrestedonmyarm,andhelookeddownatmewithanintenseexpression.Hischestwasrisingandfalling,andmypulsebeatinmyears.
Whywasthisabadideaagain?
“Youshouldgotobed.”Hecontinuedwatchingmewithadarkenedgaze.
Inoddedandputmyhandsonhischestandranmyfingersoverthesmoothmuscle.JesusChrist,hewasripped.“Ireallyshould.”
“You’reexhausted.”Hisfingerstiltedmyjawandhismouthcametothesensitiveskinonmyneck.Histeethnippedmyskinandmybreathcaught.
Thepressurebetweenmylegswasback.
“Mhm.”Igentlyscrapedmynailsdownhisabsandthemusclesjumpedbeneathmyfingers.
Belowthewaistbandofhissweatpants,hiserectionwasclearlyvisible,juttingout.Mylipspartedandashiverranthroughme.Fuckinghell,Iwasso,soturnedon.TherewasnowayIcouldsleep,nowormaybeever.I’dliethereinmybed,staringattheceilingandtryingnottothinkaboutwhatitwouldfeellikeforhisthicklengthtoslideintome.Eventhinkingaboutitnowhadwetnesspoolingbetweenmylegs.
Iswallowed.“Rememberwhenwetalkedabouthavinganoutlet?”
Hisgazedarkenedevenfurther,andhenodded.Heleaneddownandhishandcametothebackofmythigh,brushinguphigher,higher,higheroverthesensitiveskinbelowmyassbeforehislargepalmgraspedtheflesh.
Hebreathedouthard.“Youhaveamagnificentass.”
“Anoutlet.”Myvoicesoundedhuskierthanusual.“Ineedone.”
Hebrushedhismouthagainstmyneckagainandalittlewhimperescapedmymouth.“Itmightmakethingscomplicated.”
HisbreathtickledmyearandneckandIshiveredagain.Hesmelledincredible,likecedaranddeodorantandsoap.Masculine,clean,andstrong.Icouldfeeltheheatfromhisskinradiatingoffhim.Hisneckwassoclosetomymouth,onlymereinchesawayanditwouldbealmostnoefforttojust—
HegroanedasIpressedmylipsagainsthisneck.HisAdam’sapplebobbed,andhisheadfellbackslightly.
Iknewthiswasabadidea,butIdidn’tcare.Iwantedit.Iwantedhim.Myentirebodyhummedforhim,alowvibrationthatsentshiverstomycoreandmademedothingsInormallywouldn’t.Thepressurebuiltlowinmybelly,andwehadn’tevendoneanythingyet.Ihadneverbeenthisturnedonbefore.Noonehadmademefeellikethis.Ihadtorelievethepressure,orI’dexplode.
Myteethscrapedhisskinandheturnedandcapturedmymouthwithhis.Amoantraveledfrommythroatintohisandmyhandsrakedhishairashistongueslidagainstmine,tastingme.Oneofhishandswaswrappedinmyhairandtheothergraspedmyassandliftedmeontothecounter.Hestoodbetweenmyknees.Ionlyworeat-shirtandwashyperawareofthewetnessbetweenmylegsexposedtotheair,exposedtoEmmett,butheignoredmethere,makingmewanthimevenmore.Hismouthwasneedy,demanding,andassertive,anditsentheattomycenter.Wetnessandwarmthfloodedme.
“Ineedyou,”heraspedintomyear,breakingthekissandpressingaseriesofthemdownmyneck.“Ineedyousofuckingbadly,Avery.I’vebeenthinkingaboutthisconstantly.YouhavenoideahowbadlyIneedthis.”
Hecoveredmymouthwithhisandslickedhistongueagainstmine.Hishandswerealloverme—inmyhair,onmybreasts,pinchingmynipples.Isighedmyresponse,tiltedmyheadbackwithclosedeyes.
Myhandsslidintothewaistbandofhissweatpantsandaroundhiscock.Itwashotinmyhand,heavyandthick,andheshudderedasIstrokedhisshaft.
Hebrokeourkissandleaneddowntoscrapehisteethovermynippleoverthet-shirt.Igasped.
“Ineedtoseeyou,”heraspedoutinalowvoice,gazingatmewithdarkeyes,heavywithlustandneed.
AllIcoulddowasnod.Yes,fuckinghell,yes,Ineededhimtoseeme,too.
Heyankedthet-shirtovermyheadandmybreastspoppedout.Theywerepinchedanddesperatetobetouched.Isatonthecounter,completelynakedandopentohim,butbeforeIcouldfreakout,hetiltedmychinupandourgazeslocked.
Mybreathcaught.Thewayhelookedatme—Ihaveneverbeenlookedatlikethatinmylife.IwouldhavefeltitburningmeupthewayIwasnow.
Bothourchestswererisingandfalling.Hiseyesweredarkandhot,andhelookeddrugged.“Youaresofuckingbeautiful.”
Mylipsparted,watchinghowhehadtransformed,andbeforeIcouldsayaword,heloweredhismouthtooneofthepinchedpeaksandmyheadfellback.Hepulledmetowardhim,andtheotherhandcametomyotherbreast,andIletoutasmallcryinhiskitchenatthepurepleasureofit.Iwasdeliriouswithneed,butthiswastoogood.Icouldn’tmovewhilehehadhismouthonmybreasts.
HishandstrokedmybackandIarchedagainsthim,writhingwithtensionandpressure.Mynailsscrapedtheskinofhisabsandheshiveredundermytouch,groaningandgrippingmeharder,suckingonmynippleandpullinganotherstrangledwhimperfromme.
Myhandsliddownagainintohiswaistbandandwrappedaroundhisthicklength,rockhardandpressingurgentlyagainstthefrontofhispants,andhisnailsdugintomyback.Hepulsedinmyhand.
“JesusChrist,”hegroaned.“Careful.”
Islidmyhandupanddownhiscock,feelingtheentirelengthofit,heavyinmyhand,andhisbreathwasraggedasheleanedhisforeheadagainstmychest.“Orwhat?”
“Fuck,Avery.Fuck,”hegroanedagain,hisfingerstensingonmyback.
Icontinuedtoexplorehiscockandlistentothedesperatenoisescomingoutofhisthroat.Hewasrock-hard,andeverymovementlookedlikeitfeltsogooditcausedhimpain.Helookedatme,andhisgazebeggedwithdesperationtoputhimoutofhismisery.
God,hewassofuckingbeautifullikethis.
“IpromisethatIwillbevery,verycareful,”Isaid,strokinghimwithafirmergrasp,andhislipsparted.
“That’sit.”Hisvoicewasalowgrowl.
Hepulledhimselffrommygrasp.Ireachedforhim,butheslidhishandsupmythighs,andhisfingerscametomycore.
Mymindwentblank.
Icouldn’tmove,itfeltsogood.
“Fuck,Avery,you’resowet.”Hismouthwasonmyearashisfingersworkedtight,softcirclesonmyclit.Iwhimpered,bitingmylipandgrippinghisshoulderswhileheworkedatmycore,buildingthetensionwithinme.
“Ohmygod,”Ifinallymanaged,writhingagainsthim.“Ohmygod,Emmett,thatfeelsfuckingincredible.”
“Iloveitwhenyousaymyname,”hesaidintomyneck,histeethscrapingme.Liquidrushedtomycenter,andhemadeanoiseofappreciation.“Sayitagain.IwanttohearyousaymynamewhenImakeyoucome.”
Ididn’tevenhavetheenergytoprotest.“Emmett,”Imoaned,andhisfingersplungedinsideme.Iletoutasmallcry.“Ohmygod.Emmett.”
Hisfingersplungedinagain,immediatelylocatingthebuttonthatwouldundome,rewardingme.
“Emmett,don’tstop,”Ibegged,reachingforhiscock.“Donotfuckingstop.”Igraspedhishardlengthandstroked.
“Iwon’t,”herasped.“I’mgoingtomakeyoucomesohard.”Hisfingerscontinuedtopulseagainstmyfrontwall,makingmelight-headedwithpleasure,andhisotherhandreturntomyslickclit.Short,sharpwhimperswerespillingoutofmymouth.Thepressureinmycorewassostrong,Icouldbarelystandit.Allconsuming.Icouldn’tthink,Ididn’tknowwhatmonthitwas,IwasonlyfocusedonhowincrediblehishandsfeltandhowI’ddoanythingtocomerightnow.
“Ican’thandlethis,it’stoogood.”Ileanedmyheadagainsthischest.Myhandmovedfasteronhiscock,buthepulleditaway.
“Notyet,”hegrowled.“Youfirst.”
Ireachedforhimagainandhisfingersmovedfasterandmoreurgentlyovermyslickcenter.Imoanedasthetensionbuiltandwrappedmyhandaroundhimonceagain.Heincreasedthepressurebothonmycenterandwithhisfingersinsideme,pushingagainmyg-spoturgently.Istrokedhimhard,andhepulsedinmyhand.
Heglaredatme.“Don’tyoudarefuckingmakemecomefirst.”
IlikedthissideofEmmett,thisangry,furiousversionofhim.IknewI’dreplaythismomentagainandagain.
“I’mbarelytouchingyou.”Myvoicewasbreathlessandragged.
“I’mgoingtomakeyoucomesohardyouforgetyourownname,”hegrittedout.
Icouldfeelmyselftipping.
Heleanedhisforeheadagainstmine.Hiseyeswereblack.“I’mgoingtomakeyoucomesohardthatfromnowon,youthinkaboutme.”Hisfingersworkedfaster,slidingacrossmyfoldsandstrokingthebuttoninsideme.Icouldbarelybreathe,itfeltsogood.Iwaswoundsotight.
Igaspedforair.Hisfingersweresointense.Myhandstrokedhisthrobbingcock,andIcouldn’twaittohaveitinsideme.Butfornow,Ijustwantedhimtorelievethepressurecoilingaroundmyspine.Myskinprickledandwasonfireatthesametime.Electricityshotupanddownmylimbs,andmylegsstartedtoshake.
“Emmett,”Iwhispered.Icouldfeelmyselftipping.Iwrappedmylegsaroundhim.
“Louder,”hedemanded.Hiscockstrainedinmyhand.
Imoanedinresponse,myforeheadfallingagainsthischest.“Please.”
“Sayit.”HisfingerseasedupandIwhimperedinprotest.“Youknowwhattodo.”
Ineededtocome.Ineededitsobadly.Humansweren’tmeanttobeontheprecipiceofextremepleasurelikethisforsolong.Ihatedhimfordanglingitinfrontofmelikethis.
“Emmett.”Hisnamerangoutofmymouthindesperation.
HerespondedbyincreasingthepressureandspeedofhisfingersandIfellovertheedge.Iwasfrozen,mymouthopeninasilentscreamandmylimbsparalyzed.Ifellback,andoneofhisarmswrappedaroundtocatchmewhiletheotherstayedburiedwithinme.Ipulsedaroundhisfingers,clenchinghimandmoaningagainsthischestasIcame.
Myhandstayedwrappedaroundhisthicklengththeentiretimeandasthewavesofintenseorgasmbegantosubside,Istrokedhimhardandfast.Heclutchedmehardertohim.
Hegroanedagainstme,andhisheadfelltomyshoulderashotliquidspilledovermyhand.Heshudderedandasmuggrinspreadacrossmyface.Heliftedhisheadtolookatme.Wewerebothbreathingheavy,tryingtocatchourbreath.
MakingEmmettcomewasmynewaddiction.Thewayhelostcontrolundermyhand,thewayheshudderedagainstme,thewayhisperfectexteriorcracked,andhelettheprimalneedshinethrough—Ineededmore.
“Thatwasfun.”Myvoiceshook,justlikemylegs.
Hesaggedagainstme,andIfelthismouthagainstmyneck.“Nicework,Adams.”
Wecaughtourbreathforafewmomentsbeforeheliftedmeupoffthecounter,pressingsoft,sweetkissesupanddownmyneckwhilecarryingmeupstairs.Ourteasatonthecounterinthekitchen,coldandforgotten.
WecrawledintoEmmett’sbed,andheflickedthelightoff.Hepulledmeagainsthischest,andIlistenedtohisheartbeat,theslowthumpinglullingmetosleep.Irefusedtoworryaboutwhatthismeantforus,whereweweregoing,orwhatwouldhappen.AllIcouldthinkaboutwashowutterlyandcompletelycontentIfelt,andhowIcouldn’twaittodoitagain.18Avery
“Let’sjusttightenthisup,”thesalesassociate,Geraldine,saidbeforeclampingmetalclipsupthebackofmydresstomakeitfitandIstaredatmyreflection.
Ihatedthis.
“Howdoesitlook?”Elizabethcalled.Shewassittingoutsidethedressingroom,drinkingchampagnewithHannah,Max,andDiv.DivhadstoppedinforbreakfastattherestaurantyesterdaymorningandIextendedtheinvitationtohim.Heseemedlikesomeonewhowouldtellmethetruthaboutdresses.
“She’sbreathtaking,”Geraldinecalledbackasshetightenedthebodice.
“Tootight,”Igasped.
ThedresshadsomuchvolumethatIcouldbarelyfitintothedressingroom.Geraldinewaspressedupagainstthewalls.
Ididn’thaveanideaofthedressIwantedbecauseIhadneverreallythoughtaboutit.Ifigured,ifIweretoevergetmarried,itwouldbeasimple,privateceremony,andI’dwearadressthatIcouldwearagainandagain.Somethingpractical.MaybeawrapdressthatIcouldweartowork.Nothingagainstbigweddings,Ilovedattendingthem,butalleyesonme?Notmybag.
Irememberedstandinginfrontofthestorewiththeothers.Thiswasjustanotherthingtocrossoffthelist,andtherestaurantwouldbemine.Geraldinehadinsistedthatthisonelookedbetteronthanhangingup,soIshruggedmyshouldersandgaveitawhirl.Besides,thisexperiencewasjustasmuchforElizabeth,Hannah,Max,andDivasitwasforme.Therestofthedresseshangingoutsidethedressingroomwerechosenbytheothers.Isaidyestoeverysuggestion.Ididn’tknowanythingaboutweddingdresses,andItrustedthatmypeoplewhowereheretodaywouldneverletmewearsomethinghideous.
Onedresscaughtmyeyewhilewebrowsedthestore,sippingchampagneandrunningourfingersoverthefabrics.Itwassoftcreamsilk,withcappedsleevesthatdrapedslightly,anddelicatebeadworkonthebodice.Itlookedlikesomethingoutofthetwenties,andIcouldn’ttakemyeyesoffit.
“Oooh,vintage,”Hannahsaidatmysidebeforegrabbingit.“Addittothepile.”
“No,”Isaid,puttingitbackontherack.“Idon’tthinkit’squitemystyle.”
Idon’tknowwhyIdidthat.Thedresswassodelicateandinterestingandunique,andIwanteditimmediatelybutsomethinginmehesitatedandturnedaway.Thisweddingwasfake,Iremindedmyself.Adresslikethatwouldmakeitfeeltooreal,andthatfeltdangerous,likeputtingmyfingerstooclosetothecandleflame.
Inthedressingroom,throughthebluroftheveilGeraldinehadpoppedonmyhead,Istaredatmyreflection.Oh,howthemightyhavefallen.Cartedaroundanddresseduplikeadoll,butitwastogetwhatIwanted.
ThemoneyhadarrivedinmybankaccountafewdaysagoandKeikoandIhadameetingatthebankacoupledaysafterthewedding.
Partofmecouldn’tbelieveithadhappened.Hehadsignedapaperandabankgavemeamountainofmoneytobuyarestaurant.Itfeltlikeadream.Thiskindofthingdidn’thappentopeoplelikeme.Ididn’texactlyknowwhatpeoplelikememeant,butIknewthatIwasvery,verylucky.
“Alright,princess,goonout,”Geraldinesaid,openingthedressingroomdoorandshovingmeout.Theskirtwaswiderthanthedoor,soshehadtopushwithbothhandsonmyback.
Istumbledoutandmyentouragegasped.Theycouldn’tseemyfacethroughtheveilandIcouldn’tseetheirsveryclearly.
“Whatdoyouthink?”Iasked,squintingatthem.
“Whatdoyouthink?”Elizabethasked,hervoicedeliberatelylight.
“Isn’titdivine?”Geraldineaskedbesideme.“Somodern,soelegant,likeaDisneyprincess.”
Iliftedtheveilup.“Idon’tknowifthisisthedressforme.”
EveryoneexceptGeraldinesaggedwithrelief.ElizabethandHannahwincedateachother.
“Thankgod,”Maxsaid,shakinghishead.
“YoucannotmarryEmmettinthatdress,”Divtoldme.“YoulooklikeoneofthosedollstheysellonQVCaftertwointhemorningthatlonelyboomersbuy.”
“Andaddtothecreepycollectiontheydisplayinthediningroom,”Maxadded,andtheydissolvedintolaughter.
“Mydaughterworethisdressatherwedding,”Geraldinetolduswithwideeyes.
ElizabethstoodandputherhandonGeraldine’sshoulder.“I’msureitwasabsolutelylovelyonher.Avery,honey,whydon’tyoutryonanother.”
Overandover,Geraldinepulledthedressesovermyshouldersandshovedmeoutintotheviewingarealikeashowdog.Overandoveragain,Geraldinesawmybareboobs.Ireallydidn’thaveachoiceineither,andafterthethirddress,Istoppedcaring.
“Thisoneisnice,”Hannahsaid,lookingatmewithraisedeyebrows,watchingmyreactionasIsteppedout.
Inoddedwithapleasantsmile,staringatthesatinbodicewithclamshellcups.“Itis.”
“Yourboobslookgreat,”Divadded.
“Theydo,”Iagreed,glancingattheamplecleavagethestructuredbodicehadprovided.“Theysuredo.”
ThememoryofEmmettstaringhungrilyatmyboobstheothernightbeforepromflashedintomyheadandIbitbackagrin.
Emmett.Eventheguy’snamesentalittleshiverofexcitementandhorninessthroughme.
Theothernightwas…incredible.Therewerenowords.ThebestsexI’deverhadandwedidn’tevenhavesex.NotthatI’deveradmitthattoEmmett,theguyhadanoversizedegoasitwas.Butthewayhisfingersslickedoverme,thewayhelocatedthebuttoninsidemeandundidme,thewayhegroanedandcollapsedagainstmeashecameinmyhand.
Jesus.
“Areyouokay?”Hannahaskedwithconcern.“Youlookflushed.”
Isnappedtoattention.NohornythoughtsaboutEmmett,notwhilehismotherwassittinginfrontofme.IswallowedandsmiledatHannah.“Justalittlehungry,Ithink.”
HungryformoresexytimeswithEmmett,maybe.
Elizabethgesturedatmydress.“Thisisn’ttheone.”
Iglancedatthedressoverhershoulderagain,thevintageone,andturnedbacktothem.“Well,gang,whichonedoyouthinkitis?Thesecond?”Thesecondwasasimple,slinkysatindresswithalowback.Itwaspretty,andIlookedprettyinit.
Hannahgotupandwalkedaroundthecouch.Mystomachflopped.Shereachedforthedress,thedress,pickeditup,andbroughtittoGeraldine.“Onemore.”
“No,”Isaidshakingmyhead.“Ithinkthesecondoneisbetter.”
“Justhumorus,”Hannahsaid.“Please?Thenwe’llgetlunch.”
Therewasaflickerofchallengeonhernormallyshyface.Mystomachdropped.Sheknew.Sheknewtherewassomethingaboutthisdress.
Geraldinetookthedressfromherandguidedmebacktothedressingroom.Istaredatthewallwithoutamirrorwhileshehelpedmeintoit.Theliningwassatinandfeltincredible.Goddammit.Theweightofthedressfeltperfect,luxurious,andsmooth.Itmademewanttorunmyhandsovermyselfagainandagain.
IcouldfeeltheworriedlookonmyfaceasIsteppedout.
Hannah’seyeslitup.Elizabethgasped.MaxandDivdidn’tsayaword.
“What?”Iasked.“Bad?”
“Lookforyourself,”Elizabethsaid.
Ilookedinthemirrorandmyheartflippedupsidedowninmychest.Ibitmylip.
AndthenIstartedcrying.
Elizabethjumpedup.“Thisistheone!Wefoundit.”
“Iknewit,”Hannahwhisperedtoherself.
Geraldinepracticallysprintedtothefrontdesk.“I’llringitup.”
“Wha—”Istarted.“Holdon.”Iwipedatmyeyesfuriously.
Ilookedatmyreactionagain.Thedressfitmeperfectly,withafewcinchesandclipshereandtherebyGeraldine,anditwasgorgeous.Sogorgeous.Like,spendmonthshuntingoneBayandvintagewebsites,kindofgorgeous.Iswallowedagain.Mythroatfelttightbutmyheartwasflip-flopping.Iwantedthisdress,Icouldadmit,Iwanteditsobadly,butcouldImarryEmmettinthisdress?Thiswasarealweddingdress,notjustinthewayitlookedbuthowitfelt.CouldIfake-marryEmmettinarealweddingdress?
“Youlookbeautiful,”Hannahtoldmewithasoftsmile,andIgaveheroneback.
Iwasgoingtobebrave,andIwasgoingtobuythegorgeousdressthatmademefeellikeamillionbucks.
MaxandDivwerelookingattheveils,discussingwhichonefitmyheadbetter.
“Noveils,”Itoldthem.Itiltedmychinatthesparklycombclipsonthetablenearthem.“Butyoucanpickahairpin.”
Theireyeslitupandtheyhurriedovertofindsomething.
Iglancedatmyreflectionagainandshovedawaythethoughtsofhesitation.Itwasfine.
“Alterationswilltakethreetofourmonths,”Geraldinecalledover,andmystomachtensed.Theweddingwasnextweek.I’dhavetochooseadifferentdress,somethingthatdidn’tneedalterations.
Elizabethsmiledandputherhandonmyshoulder.“I’llbedoingthealterations.”
Igaveheragratefullook.
“Don’tyouevendare,”DivtoldmewhenIslippedmywalletoutofmypurse.“Emmettsaidtowatchyoulikeahawkbecauseyoumighttrytopay.”
“Comeon,”Maxsaid,pullingmeoutoftheshop.
“Idon’tevenknowhowmuchitcosts,”Iprotested.
“Doesn’tmatter,”Maxignoredmyobjections.
Withinminutes,weallreconvenedoutside.Divheldthebox,andIcouldn’ttakemyeyesoffit.
Thegroupofusheadedtoanearbyrestaurantforlunch,talkingandlaughingandinhighspirits.Thismorning,inanticipationofdressshopping,Iwasfilledwithdread,butnowIfeltlighter,happier,andoptimistic.
Thiswasallgoingtobejustfine.
“Whatalovelyday,”Elizabethsaidoncewewereseated,“withmyfuturedaughter-in-law.”Shesmiledwarmlyatme,andIfeltitallthewaydowntomytoes.
Andthenapangofcoldguilthitmeinthestomach.Icouldn’tgettoousedtothis.Iclearedmythroat.“Theahitunalooksgood.”
“Ican’twaittomeetyourparents,”shetoldme,readingherownmenu.“Theymustbesoexcitedthattheirbabyisgettingmarried.”
Arockdroppedinmystomach.
Ihadspokenwithmymomonthephoneyesterday.IhadcalledherwiththeintentiontotellherabouttherestaurantandgettingmarriedandthenIjust…froze.Thewordswouldn’tcomeoutofmymouth.Ihadlistenedwhilemymomtoldmeaboutthebookshewasreadingandthenwesaidgoodbyeandhungup.AfterIhadfailedtotellher,callingmydadwasn’tevenanoption.Ihadn’tspokentotheguyinclosetotwoyears.
Ishiftedinmyseat,picturinghimpullingEmmettasideandaskinghimtoborrowmoney.Shameunfurledinmeandmadeitswayupintomythroat.
“Mhm.”Iswallowedtheshamedownandstaredatmymenu.“Iwonderifthetunaisfreshorfrozen.”
“Aretheyspendingafewdaysintown?”Sheturnedtome.“I’dlovetohavethemoverfordinner.”
“Um,I’mnotsure,”Isaid,eyesgluedtomymenu.“They’reprettybusywithstuff.”
IpicturedmymommeetingEmmett,andhimturningonthepolitician’scharmwithher.Wouldshethinkhewastoomuchlikemydad?Wouldshedisapprove?Wouldshefallinlovewithhimlikeeveryoneelse?
Theknotsinmystomachturnedover.Whydiditmatter?EmmettandIweren’tgettingmarriedforreal.Iknewthis,andyetsomehow,Ihadtokeepremindingmyself.
“Doyousmellsmoke?”Maxasked,staringstraightatmewithaknowinglook
Inarrowedmyeyesathim.
“No?”Hannahsaid,sniffingtheair.
Maxcontinuedtolookatme.“Liar,liar,pantsonfire,”hemouthed.
Ilookedbackatmymenu.I’dcallthemtoday.I’dcallthemindividuallyandtellthemIwasgettingmarriedandaskthemtocome.
Ashudderofanxietyrolledthroughme.
Tomorrow.I’dcallthemtomorrow.19Emmett
“Ithoughtweweregoingtothebeach,”Averyaskedaswedrovedownthehighway.
IhadbeenthinkingaboutAveryallday.Duringmymorningrunalongthebeach,Ithoughtaboutherprettyblueeyes.WhileIshowered,Ireplayedhersittingonthekitchencounter,cryingoutmynamewithmyfingersdeepinsideher.Howsexyshehadlooked,steppingintothekitcheninonlymyt-shirt,andthenpullingitofftoexposeherperfecttits.Theyfitperfectlyintomyhands,andthewayherheadfellbackwhenIslidmytongueoverhernipple—fuckinghell.
LastnightwasthebestsexIhadeverhad,anditwasn’tevensex.Itwashandstuff.Thatwasit.ShegotmeoffwithherhandlikeIwasahornyteenager
Ithoughtaboutwhatitwouldfeelliketoputmymouthonher,tasteher,andhowincredibleIbetshetasted.Ishouldhavedonethatlastnight,butIwasgreedyandwantedtofeelherclencharoundmyfingers.
“We’regoingtoadifferentbeach.”Ishotheraslylook.“It’sasecretbeach.”
IthoughtabouthersleepysighofcontentmentinbedwhileIreadDiv’semailwithpollresultsthatshowedmeneckandneckwithIsaac.Ithoughtaboutthewayhersmilelituptheroomwhenshemadefunofmeforbeinggrossedoutbyturtles.
Allday,IlookedforwardtocominghometoAvery.
Inever,everthoughtI’dsaythis,butthankgodforbedbugs.
Icoulddowithoutwashingmachines,though.WashingmachineshadruinedmyplanofhavingAveryeitherwearingonlymyt-shirtsornothingatall.
Herlipspartedinsurpriseandhereyeslitup.“Oh,really?”
Inodded.“It’saRhodesfamilysecret,though.Youcan’ttellasouloryou’llbeexcommunicated.”
Shelaughed.“You’retellingmerightnow.”
CastleBeachwasasecret,Iwasn’tlyingaboutthat.Itwasn’tonGoogleMapsorinanytourismbrochures.Somelocalsknewaboutit,we’dseenthemthere,buttheunspokenrulewasthatwedidn’tpostaboutitonsocialmediaanddidn’tdirecttouristshere.Therewerenorepercussions,though.
BringingAveryherefeltright.ShewastheclosesttoawifeI’dprobablyeverget.Sheknewmyparents,shewasclosewithmymom,andsheshouldknowaboutthebeach.Iwantedtoshareitwithher.
Igrinnedather.“We’regettingmarriedsoit’sfine.”
Wesharedaglance,thewe’vegotasecretlook.Myheartsqueezed.
WhenIturnedoffthehighwayontoadirtroad,shewrenchedaroundinherseattolookbehindus.“Ididn’tevenknowthisroadwashere.I’mnotsureIcanfinditagainonmyown.”
“I’llhavetobringyoubackagain.”Ireachedoverandplacedmyhandonherthighandshegrinnedoutthewindow.
Webumpedalongtheroaduntilweparkedinasmallclearing.Takeoutandbeachblanketinhand,Iledherdownatrailtothebeach,holdingherhandatthesteepparts,eventhoughshewaswearingsneakersandperfectlycapableofclimbingdownherself.Mybodycravedhertouch.Anyexcusetoputmyhandsonher,andIdiditwithouthesitation.Evenbetter,hermouthtwitchedupeverytimewemadecontact,whichwarmedmychest.
Thepathendedandturnedtosand,andwesteppedoutontothebeach.
“Oh,wow.”Averypausedwherethesandstartedandlookedoutatthesparklingwater.
CastleBeachwasinasmall,protectedcove.Acrossthewater,theforestroseoutofthesea.Wehadthebeachtoourselves.Alightbreezecarriedofftheocean,anditsmelledfreshandclean.ThiswassomuchbetterthanthepopularbeachinQueen’sCove,whichwouldbepackedtonight.
“Theskylookssobeautiful.”Shesighedandshookherheadwithawistfulexpressiononherface.“Weliveinthemostbeautifulplaceontheplanet.”
Theblueskystretchedoutendlessly,thethickgreenforestwaslushasever,andtheseasparkled.“Wesuredo.”
Ikickedmyshoesoffandledustoalogdownthebeachthatwecouldsitagainst.SheshookouttheblanketandIunpackedthetakeoutasshetookaseatandwatched.IgrinnedathowhereyeslitupatthebottleofwineIpulledout.
“Igrabbeditbeforeweleft,”Itoldherbeforepouringitintoacoupletravelmugs.
Hersmilewasshy.“Thanksforbringingmehere.”
“Anytime.Iliketorunhereinthemornings.”
Sheshookherheadandgavemeateasinglook.“Earlybird.”
“Youshouldtryit.It’snicewakingupbeforeeveryoneelse.Thewater’scalm,it’sjustyouandthebirdsandthewaves.It’sveryserene.”
Shestartedopeningthetakeoutboxeswithoursushi.“That’swhatIlikeaboutbeinguplate,aftereveryonehasgonetobed.ItfeelslikeI’mtheonlypersonawakeinthewholetown,whenit’ssilentandallthelightsareout.SometimesIstayattherestaurantlongpasteveryonehasgonehomejusttogetworkdone.It’speaceful.”Shesmiledsoftlyatmeandmychestpanged.
Wesatthere,eatingandtalkingandlaughingandlisteningtothewaveswashupagainsttheshoreandthesunbegantoset.Ienjoyedwatchinghereat.Somethingaboutprocuringherfoodandherenjoyingitgavemesatisfaction.Maybeitwasamaleinstinct,theurgetofeedandprovideformywoman.
Inearlysnortedtomyself.Mywoman?Isoundedlikeacaveman.
Iglancedatheragain.
Mine.
TheideaofanyoneelseputtingtheirhandsonAvery,evensmilingatherlikethatfuckingCarterguy,senthotragethroughmyveinsandmademefurious.
Averywasmine.Therewasnodoubtaboutthat.Ijustdidn’tknowwhattodowithit.Iwascompletelyoutofmydepthhere.
AgigglebubbledoutofherandIgaveheracuriouslook.
Shegrinnedwider.“RememberwhenyouthoughtIwasgaybecauseIdidn’tlikeyou?”Shelaughedagainandhereyesglittered.
Isnorted.“Ialsothoughtyou’dbedutiful.”
“Thejokewasonyou.”Sheateanotherpieceofsalmonnigiri.
“Itsurewas.”
Ihadenteredthisarrangementthinkingitwouldbesosimple.We’dtakeafewphotosforsocialmedia,I’dsignonthedottedlineofherloan,andwe’dpartways.Easy.Straightforward.Emotionless.
Iswallowed.ThisthingIwasdoingwithAvery,itwaseasy,butitwasanythingbutstraightforwardoremotionless.Icouldn’timaginenotspendingtimewithherafterthis.Icouldn’timaginehermovingoutofmyhomeormylife,whichshefitsoperfectlyinto.IwantedtodropbyTheArbutuseverydaytochatwithherforlunchuntilIwasahundredyearsold.
Youdon’tunderstand,WillhadjokedoncewhenImadefunofhimfornotwantingtotakeatripwithme.You’renotthefamilykindofguy.
Mychesttightened,andIbrushedtheconfusingthoughtsaside,bringingmyattentionbacktothepresent.Theboxwithnigiriwasnearlyempty.
“Icanseewhyyoulikerunningarestaurant,ifeveryoneeatslikeyou,”ItoldAveryassheateanotherpiece.
Shenarrowedhereyesandchewed.“Isthatacompliment?Ican’ttell.”
“Ofcourseit’sacompliment.Youenjoyfood.Ibetit’srewardingtowatchpeoplegohomehappyaftereatingatTheArbutus.”
Awistfullookcameoverherface.“Itis.Ilikestandingnearthebarandlookingoutateveryonetalkingandlaughing.Therewerethesetwoolderwomenwhocameintheotherdayforlunch,andtheystayedforthreehours,drinkingwineandlaughingsohardtheywerecrying,andIjustknewtheyhadbeenfriendsfortwentyorthirtyyears.”Sheswallowedandsmiled,remembering.“ItwaslikeIgotaflashofwhotheywerewhentheywereyoung.”Sheshookherhead.“Idon’tknowwhatitis.There’ssomethingabouttherestaurantthatfeelsreallyspecial.Keikoandherfamilyputsomuchintoitandmadeitthisimportantpartofourcommunity.”Herexpressionshuttered,justamoment,andsheblinked.“Iwanttokeepthatgoing.”
Inodded.“Youwill.Everythingworkedoutokaywiththemoney?’
“Yes.”Shelookeddownatherhandsandthenbackupatme.“Thankyouforthat.”
“Don’tmentionit.Seriously.”
Shegavemeagratefulsmile.Goldenhourwasstarting,thehourbeforesunsetwhenthelastraysofsuncastawarmorangeflowoneverything,andhereyesglitteredinthelight.Behindusinthetrees,hundredsofbirdswerechirping.“It’slikethebirdsareallsayinggoodnighttoeachother,”sheobserved,grinning.
Ismiledatherandrememberedsomething.“Weddingdressshoppingmusthavegonewelltoday.”
Shenarrowedhereyes.“Didsomeoneshowyouapicture?”
Ishookmyhead.“Sawachargeonmycreditcard.”
Shesaggedwithrelief.“Okay,good.”Asmilegrewonherface.“Idon’twantyoutoseemydressuntilthewedding.It’sbadluck.”
“Areyouhappywithit?”
Shecouldn’tcontainthegrinandgavealittlewiggleofexcitement.“Yes.Iam.It’sgorgeous.Oh,andI’llpayyoubackforit.Youshouldn’thavetopayforit,I’msureyou’realreadypayingenoughforthewedding.”
“Absolutelynot.”Iwasalreadyshakingmyhead.Somethingthatmadeherthisexcited,thishappy?I’dpayitathousandtimes.
“Comeon.”Shegavemeaflatlook.“Emmett.”
“No.”Myvoicewasstern.“I’mgoingtobeblunthere.”Iturnedtoher.“Ihavelotsofmoneyandnoonetospenditon.Myself?IhaveeverythingIneed.Mymom?Ispoilherrotten.Letmebuyyouaprettydress.”
ShelookedawaybutIcouldseeherbeamingfromthewaytheapplesofhercheeksrose.“Fine.”
“Fine,”Irepeated,satisfied.“Also,Divaskedmeaboutyourparents,andIwasn’tsure.”
Sheturnedbacktome.“Whatdoyoumean?”Alittlecreaseformedbetweenhereyebrows.
“Hewantstoknowifthey’recoming.Somethingaboutaseatingchart.”
Thecreasedeepenedandshepressedhermouthintoatightline.
Somethingwaswrong.“Adams?What’sgoingon?”
“Mydadisadick,”sheblurtedout.
Iblinkedather.
Shewrungherhands.“Okay,maybenotadick.Hedoesn’tmeantobe,buthejustkindof…sucks.”Shewinced.“Thatsoundsbad.I’mabadperson.He’sjustreallyslippery,andI’vebeenputtingoffinvitinghim.IknowIhaveto,”shetoldme.“AndIwill.I’vejustbeenprocrastinating.”Shefrownedandlookeddownatherhands,twirlingtheringIboughtheraroundherfinger.
Watchingtheanxietyonherface,thewayhermouthpressedintoanunhappyline,itbrokemygoddamnheart.
“Youdon’thavetoinvitehim.It’sourwedding.Wecandowhateverwewant.”
Shewinced.“Whatifhefindsout?He’dbecrushed.”
Uncertaintycrossedherfaceandshelookedsodifferentthantheconfidentandself-assuredAverythatIknew.Iopenedmyarms.“Comehere.”Igesturedforhertoslidecloser.
Amomentofhesitationcrossedherfacebeforeshescootedover,andIpulledheragainstmesothatherbackwasrestingagainstmychest,herheadtuckedundermychin,andwewerebothlookingattheocean.Comforthummedinmychest,andsherelaxedagainstme.Thiswasbetter,muchbetter.
“Ifyoudon’twanthimthere,you’reallowedtosayno.”Myvoicewasamurmurintoherhairasmyarmspulledoverherchest,lockingheragainstme.Herhairsmelledincredible,andittookeverythingIhadnottoburymyfaceintoherneck.“Whatdoyouthinkhe’lldo?”
Shesighed,andIrubbedmyhandupanddownherarm.Ihatedseeingherlikethis,anxiousanduncertain.
“Idon’tevenknowhowtodescribehim.”
“Try.”
“He’sthemostcharming,friendly,funnyguyyou’veevermet.”Hertonewascontemplative,andIwishedIcouldseeherface.“He’severyone’sbestfriendandsopassionateaboutlife.Everythingismorefunwithhimaround.He’sthelifeoftheparty.”Hervoicechangedtoamorehesitanttone.“Andhehasallthesebigideas.”
Shepaused,andIwaited.
“DidItellyouthatmyparentshadarestaurantwhenIwasakid?”
“No,”Imurmuredintoherhair.“Youdidn’t.”
Shenodded.“Theydid.Mymomalwayswantedtohavearestaurant,mygrandparentshadoneforabitandshelovedit.Shesavedallhermoney,workedtwojobswhenIwasreallyyoung,andwhenIwastwelve,theyboughtaplace.”Shetensedbeneathme,andIrubbedherarmagain.“Mydadwassoexcited,andhehasthekindofpersonalitywherehekindoftakesoverthings.”Sheshrugged.“Hetookoverherdream.Hehadallthesegrandideasandhetotallychangedtheplace.”Alownoiseofirritationcameoutofherthroat.“Hespentalltheirmoneyonhisgrandideas,andtheywentunder.”
Sheexhaledslowly.
Thiswasstartingtomakesense.Averywasstartingtomakemoresense.Angerseepedintomybloodstreamatthisguywhohadfailedtotakecareofhisfamily,failedtocreatethebestlifepossibleforthem,andinsteaddraggedthemdownwithhisimpulsesandpoorbusinesschoices.
Iworkedtokeepmyvoiceneutral.“Whathappenedtotherestaurant?”
“Itwentoutofbusiness,ofcourse,becausehedidn’tknowwhatthefuckhewasdoing,butbythetimehefiguredthatout,hewasgone.”
Myeyebrowsroseinalarm.“Gone?Heleft?”
Sheshrugged.“Yep.Hesaiditwasn’thisdream,itwasmymom’sdream,andthathehadtopursuehisownpassions.”
Rage.White-hotrage.Furious,unbridledragerattledthroughmybody.
Whatkindofpersondidthat?Whatkindoffatherandhusbandlefthisfamilylikethat,especiallyafterhehaddugtheirgraveofdebt?
“He’snotcomingtothewedding,”Igrowled.
“Ican’tnotinvitehim.”Shedidn’tsoundlikeshebelievedthat.
Ishookmyhead.“He’snotcoming.”
Shewasquietamomentbeforeshenoddedandrelaxedagainstme.“Okay.He’snotcoming.”
Wewerequietagain,staringatthesettingsun,thesplashesofcoloracrossthesky.
AthoughtstruckmeandIfrowned.“YouknowI’dneverdothattoyou,right?Notthatyouneedmeforanything.You’resofiercelyindependentandIcanseewhy,now.”Iswallowed.“ButyouneedtoknowIwouldneverdosomethinglikethat.”
Shenodded.“Iknow,”shewhispered.Sheturnedherheadandcaughtmygazebeforenoddingagain.“Iknow.”
“Good.”
Wesatthereforalongtime,listeningtothewavesandwatchingthewatercrashagainsttheshore,watchingthesunfalllowerandlower.Somethinghadchangedbetweenuswiththatconversation.Itfinallyfeltlikeallthecardswereoutonthetable.ThiswaswhyAverydidn’tlikemeforsolong.ItwasbecauseIremindedherofherdad.
Ragespikedmybloodstreamagain.Thatfuckingasshole.I’dnevermettheguybutIhatedhimforwhathedidtoAvery,howhemadeherfeeluncertainandconfused.FathersshouldbelikeWill,devotedandconsistentandadoring.
IwouldneverletAverydownlikeherdadhad.MaybeIwasn’tafamilyguylikeWill—Ididn’tknowwhatkindofguyIwasanymore—butIsureashellwasgoingtoliveuptoAvery’sexpectations.20Emmett
Westayedatthebeach,Averysittingbetweenmylegs,lockedagainstmeuntilthesunsetandtheskydarkenedandsheshiveredagainstmychest.Wemadeourwaybacktothecarbythelightofourphoneflashlightsanddrovehomeincontentsilencewithmyhandrestingonherleg.Afterafewmoments,herhandsettledovermine,andsheshotmeasoftsmile.
Myheartflippedoverinmychest.“You’rebeautiful.”
Shegavemearuefulsmileandlookedoutthewindow.
“Youdon’tbelieveme?”Iglancedbetweenherandtheroad.“I’mgoingtokeepsayingituntilyoudo.You’rebeautiful.”
Sherolledhereyeswithagrin.“Okay,okay.Ibelieveyou.”
Isqueezedherleg.“Good.”
Wegothome,andwhenshepausedinfrontofthedoor,waitingformetounlockit,Itiltedmychinather.“UsethekeysIgaveyou.”
Iwatchedasshefishedherkeyringoutofherbagandunlockedthedoor.Itwassosatisfyingtoseeherdothat,butIcouldn’tfigureoutwhy.
It’sbecauseshe’smine.It’sbecauseherlivingherefeelsright.
Desireunfurledinme,desirethatIhadkeptincheckallnight.Ididn’twanttocontainitanymore,though.IwantedtoshowAveryhowfuckingflawlessshewas.Iwasgoingtoshowherthatshewasmine.
Westeppedintothedarkhouse,andthemomentshesetherbagdown,myhandswereonhershoulders,turninghertome.Itiltedherchinup,andsheletoutasoftgaspasplitsecondbeforemymouthcoveredhers.
Sherelaxedagainstme,herperfecttitspressingintomychestasmyarmswrappedaroundher,andmymouthbrushedhersoft,fulllips.
“Hi,”shebreathedagainstmymouth.
“Hi,”Imurmuredback.
Icouldgetusedtothis.
IkickedthefrontdoorclosedbehindusandpulledAverywithmetowardsthestairs,kissingherandmovingmyhandsoverher.Ineededtotouchallofher,Ineededtomakehermoanthewayshedidtheothernightwithmyfingersinhertightwetness.Ireachedupandbrushedhernipple,andshejerkedwithasmallcryagainstmymouth.
Mycockwasuncomfortablyhard.Weneededtogetupstairs,faster.MytongueslickedagainsthersbeforeItuggedherhairback,openingherdeepertome.Shenippedmybottomlipwithherteeth.MycockachedandIgroaned.
Istoopeddown,grabbedherass,andhauledherup.HerlegsloopedaroundmywaistandIcarriedherupthestairs.
“Iwantyou,”shemurmuredagainstmymouth,andmycockstrainedagain.“Ineedyoutomakemecomeagain.”
“Youhaven’tseenanythingyet.”Ibrokeourkisstopressmymouthalongherneck.Shegasped.“Ican’twaitforyoutocomeonmyface.”
Shemoanedandrubbedagainstme.Isteppedinsidemybedroombeforegentlyloweringhertothebed.Iwhippedhertopoffandshelaughedinsurprise.
“Eager.”Hervoicewaslow.
Mymouthcametohercleavageandherheadfellback.
“Youhavenofuckingcluehoweager.I’vebeenthinkingaboutthissinceyoucamearoundmyfingers.”
Ipressedkissesalongthesoft,supplefleshaboveherbra,andherbreathcameoutinlittlegasps.Herhandsfistedmyhair,pullingandmakingmegroanagainstherskin.Icouldbarelyhandleit,thisdelicategameofindulgingmyneedtoclaimheranddrawingitouttotortureherwithpleasure.Iwasgrindingmyselfagainstthebedlikeateenager.Iflippedtheclaspofherbraandherdelectabletitspoppedout.OneofthetightpeakspinchedwhenIslidmytongueoverit,andshecriedoutinthedarkbedroom.
Alowchucklerumbledoutofmythroat.Fuckinghell,Ilovedthis.Ilovedmakingherbreathlessandhungry.Everycellinmybody,everydropofbloodcravedthislikewater,likeair.
Whenmymouthlefthernipple,shegroanedwithprotest.
“Pantsoff.”Iworkedfuriouslyatherfly.“Now.”
Shelaughed,lowandhusky.“Demanding.”Shemovedtoslipthemoff.
Inthedimmoonlight,Icouldbarelyseeher,soIreachedacrossthebedandflickedthelighton.Theroomilluminatedinwarmlighting,andIgazeduponherface,flushedwithpartedlipsandheavy-liddedeyes.
“Fuckinggorgeous.”
Shegavemeaheatedlookandherhandscametomybelt,undoingthebucklewhileholdingeyecontact.MycockpulsedandIyankedmyshirtovermyhead.
“Yourbodyisamazing,”shesighed,sittingupandpressingkissesovermyabs.Myhandscamebacktoherbreasts,andIrolledhertightlittlenipplesinmyfingers,pullinggaspsfromhermouthbeforeIpushedhershouldersbacksothatshewaslyingdownagain.
Mygazesnaggedonherblacklaceunderwear.
“Adams.”Myvoicecaught.“Arethesethedecoyunderwear?”
Shegavemeawickedsmile.“Yes.”
Lustroaredthroughmeandmyeyelidsfellclosed.Thethoughtofmysweet,sexylittleAverywearingunderwearIhadboughtforher—mybarely-therecontrolnearlybroke.IswallowedandmentallymovedhalfmynetworthtoanaccountsolelyforbuyingAverylingerie.Whyhadn’tIthoughtofthisbefore?
Herhandsslidovermychestandhermouthcoveredmineagain.“Ican’tstopkissingyou.”
Igrinnedagainsthermouthbeforebreakingourkiss.Ineededtogivehermorethanjustkisses.Ikneltonthefloorandloopedmyhandsbehindherkneesbeforedragginghertotheedgeofthebed.Herbreathingwasshallow.
Averywasalwayssoincontrol.Shewassoindependentandneverletanyonehelpher.Isuspected,fromthewayherheadfellback,thatsheseemedtoenjoymebeingincontrol.
SodidI.
Islidmyfingersupherthighandherbreathcaught.Iskimmedtheblacklaceandfoundherhot,dampcenter.HermouthmadeanOandsheinhaledsharply.
“You’rewet.Yourunderwearissoaked.”Iranmyfingeroverthedampfabric,andshemoanedandnodded.Myvoicewaslowandteasing.“Adams,areyouturnedonorsomething?”
“Orsomething.Stopteasingme,”shebitoutasmyfingersdrewcirclesoverthefabric.
Mycontrolteeteredontheedge,andmybodylongedtosinkintoherandthrustuntilshefilledthebedroomwithcries,butIneededtodrawthisout.SeeingAvery’sdesirewasadrugtome,andIneededtotoywithheruntilshewasinafrenzy.Ineededhercontroltosnapfirst.
“Issomethingwrong?”Iaskedwithinnocence,slippingmyarmbeneathherbacktopullhertowardme.Mymouthcametohernippleagainandshecried.
“Emmett,”shegrowled.
“Whatdoyouwant,Adams?”Mytongueworkedfastagainsthernippleandherbreathcameoutinshudders.
I’dgiveherwhatshewanted,butIwasgoingmakeherbegforit.
“More,”shegroanedandthrustagainstmyfingers.Ipulledmyhandbackandshefellbackagainstthebedinanguish.“Emmett!”Shewaspissednow,andIgrinnedbigather.
“Tellmewhatyouwant,andI’llgiveittoyou.”
“IwantyoutolickmeuntilIscream.”
Herunderwearwasoffbeforesherealizeditandthewhimperymoanthatcameoutofherthroatwhenmymouthmetherslickpussy?I’drememberthatsounduntilthedayIdied.
Mytongueworkedfastoverherfolds,draggingherwetnessupanddownoverherclitasshewrenchedunderneathme,gasping.Onehandrolledhernippleandtheotherslidbetweenherlegs.Islippedafingerintohercore.Shearchedandgasped.
“Isthiswhatyouwanted?”
Shemoaned.Iremovedmyfingerfromher.
“Emmett.”Hervoicewashardandfurious.SheliftedherheadtoglareatmeandIgavehertheslyest,mostwickedsmile.
“Isthiswhatyouwanted?”Irepeatedslowly,slidingthefingerbackinsideher,locatingherg-spot,andpressing.
Hereyesclosedandshecollapsedbackontothebed.“Yes.”Herbackarchedandhertitswerethrusttowardheaven.“Emmett,don’tstop.”
Iwouldn’t.NothingcoulddragmeawayfrombetweenAvery’slegs.HerpussywasthesweetestthingI’devertasted,andIateherup.Hermoansfilledmyearsandsherakedmyhair,makingmeshudder.Mycockwasrock-hard,andIwassoturnedonitwasalmostblinding,butIworkedtomakeAverycomelikeitwasmylife’spurpose.Ipressedharderinsideher,addingasecondfinger,andherwetcuntclenchedmelikeavice.Mytongueswipedcirclesinherliquid,draggingacrosshersilk,andherthighstightenedaroundmyhead.
Isuckedonherclit,andshejerkedinresponse,flutteringaroundmyfingers.
“I’mcoming,Emmett,I’mcoming.”Shegaspedforair.“Emmett,Emmett,Emmett.”Shewoveaspellaroundmewithherwordsashercoregrippedmeandsheshuddered.Herlegsclampedaroundmyhead,andIletherrideouttheorgasm,onlyremovingmymouthwhenhergaspsstoppedandsherelaxedagainstthebed.
Thecontentsighshemadeashereyesflutteredclosed,cheststillheavingforair?Iheardthatsighinmysoul.Thatsoundwasmydoing.
Mycockachedwiththeneedtofillhercore.Ineededtofeelherclenchmycockthewayshehadclenchedmyfingers.
“Alldone?”Istoodandloweredmyselfoverheronthebed,thenpressedasoftkissonhercollarbone.
Hereyesopenedandshegavemeaheatedlookbeforeshewrappedherhandaroundmycockandstroked.“Notevenclose.”
Shestrokedagain,hard,andmybreathexplodedoutofme.IwascloserthanIrealized.GoingdownonAveryhadpushedmetothebrinkandpleasurecoiledaroundthebaseofmyspine.“Avery,no.I’mnotgoingtolast.”
Sheliftedherchintomeinchallenge,strokingagain.“Sodon’t.”
Igrabbedherwristsandpinnedthemaboveherhead.ShepushedherhipsupandIfeltherwetcenterdragagainstmylength.Myheadfellforwardbesidehers.
“Don’tteasemelikethat.”Myeyeswerewrenchedclosed.Mycontrolhungonbyathread.
Hergazewasfulloffireassheslidherselfagainstmeagain.“Doyouwanttofuckme?”
Myhipsjerked.“Morethananything.”
Herlegspartedfurtherbeneathme.“Sodoit.”
“Condom?”Irasped.Fuckinghell,Icouldbarelyholdon.Herpussywassohotandslickagainstmycock,andIcouldbarelybreathewiththeneedtoburymyselfwithinher.
ShegaveajerkynodandIyankedthebedsidedraweropen,rippedthefoilopen,androlleditovermyself.
“Hurryup,”sheurged,herlidsheavy.
Shedidn’tneedtotellmetwice.Ipositionedmyselfathercenterandslowlypushedintohertightwetness.
“Yes,”shebreathed,adjustingherhipstoaccommodateme.“Fuckingyes.”
“Tight.”Irasped.“Fuck,Avery,you’resotightandwet.”
Islidoutandbackinandshearchedwithalittlecry.Mysoulleftmybodyalittlebitaspleasurerattledthroughmyveins.Icouldn’tthink,Icouldbarelybreathe,allIcoulddowasslideinandoutofhertightcoreassheclenchedme.HerhandcametoherclitandIpusheditaway.
“Mine.”Iswirledmyfingersoverherclit.
ShecriedoutandIplungedintoheragain.Pressuregrewaroundthebaseofmyspineandeverynerveendinginmybodylitup.Icouldfeelithappening,growingwithinme,butIcouldn’t.NotuntilAverycameagain.Shehadtocomeagain.Ihadtoseethatsweetlittlemouthpartasshefellovertheedgeagain.
Ipaused,pullingherkneesupbesidemesothatIcouldsinkdeeperandwhenIthrustagain,shegaveasharpcryofdelight.
“Rightthere.”
Myfingersworkedfaster,andherwhimpersmademycockevenharder.Iwassofuckingclose,butIheldonashardasIcould,waitingforherasIfilledheragainandagain.Shejerkedagainstme,mouthpartedandeyestightlyclosed.Shejerkedagain,andhereyesopened,gazingupatmethroughahaze.Shewassofuckingbeautiful.Shewaseverythingtome,shewasallIthoughtabout,andnowthatIhadtastedherandsunkdeepinsideher,Ihadchanged.Ineededthiseveryday,forever.Nothingwouldbesecondtothis.
Herorgasmwrackedthroughher,andsheclenchedmehard,cryingoutmynameintothebedroom.Iletmyselflosecontrol,thrustingintoher.Mypleasurefollowedrightbehind,ripplingthroughmeasIshudderedmyreleaseintoher.Starsburstbehindmyeyes,renderingmeunabletospeak,think,anddoanythingbutpushintoherandspillintohercore.
Whenthewavessubsided,myheadfellforwardontothebed.Webothstrainedtocatchourbreaths.Somethinghadhappened.Somethingwasdifferentwithusanddeepinsideme.MyDNArearrangedthesecondIslidintoher,andwewereconnected.Iwasdifferent.Iwasn’tthepre-AveryEmmett,andmaybeIhadn’tbeenforalongtime.Somethinghadchanged.
Shesighedwithsatisfaction,andIgrinnedagainstherear.
“Greatwork,”Itoldher,andshelaughed.
“Youdidallthework.”
Iliftedmyheadtolookdownintohereyes.Shebeamedatmewithflushedcheeksanddrowsyeyes.
Coldfearbitattheedgesofmyconsciousness.
Ididn’twantthistoend.IwantedtodothiseverydaywithAvery,forever
Thisfeeling,therewasonlyonenameforit.Iswallowed.
ThecoldspreadinmychestasIlookedintohereyes.Iwasinlovewithher,andIwantedtomarryherforreal.
Shit.
“Youshouldstayhereforabit,”Ispokewithoutthinking.“Forafewweeksafterthewedding.”
Shewatchedmewithathoughtfulexpression.
“Tosellit,”Ilied.
Shegavemeasoftsmileandnodded.“Okay.”
Irelaxedanddroppedagentlekissonhermouth.“Okay.”
Shefellasleepwrappedaroundme,hersteadybreathsslowing,andIlaytherestaringattheceiling,thinking.ThiswasstilladealtoAvery,soIcouldn’ttellherthetruth.Iglanceddownatherandbrushedalockofhairbehindherear.Inhersleep,shemadeaquietmmmofsatisfaction,andmychestpanged.
Icouldn’ttellherthetruth,butIcouldenjoyeverysecondIhadwithher21Avery
IwokethatmorningwithmybackarchingoffthebedandEmmett’stongueonmyclit.
“Goodmorning,”hemurmuredagainstmythighaftermakingmecome.HepressedlightkissesacrossmyskinasIsunkbackintothepillows,eyesclosedandbreathinghard.
“Itabsolutelyis.”Iglanceddownathimwithagrin.Wasthisreal?NeverinamillionyearswouldIpredictI’dbesolucky,towakeuplikethis.“Thankyou.”
“Youarevery,verywelcome.”Hemovedtolaydownbesideme,proppinghimselfuponhisside,watchingmewithasatisfiedsmileonhisface.Hewasshirtless,onlywearingrunningshorts,andhischeeksweretingedwithpinkandbronze.Hishairwasdampwithsweat.
Goddamn,hewasgood-looking.
Ibitmylip.“IfIknewyoucoulddothatwithyourmouth,Iwouldhavesaidyestothisalotfaster.”
Helaughed.Ilovedthewaytheskinaroundhiseyescrinkledwhenhelaughedlikethat.
“Whattimeisit?”
“Alittleafternine.”Heleaneddowntoplaceasoftkissonmyarm.
“Didyougoforarunalready?”
Henodded.
“Earlybird,”Iwhisperedandturnedonmyside,facinghim.Mybodywaslanguid,relaxed,andwornoutinthebestway.Myfingersbrushedoverhischestandshoulders,tracingthedefinedmuscles.“Whydidn’tyouwakeme?”
“Youneededyourrestafterlastnight.”Hisgazeflickeredwithheat,andawickedsmilegrewonhisfeatures.
Isighedwithcontent.“Lastnightfeltlikeadream.”
Hissmilegrew.“Agooddream,Ihope.”
“Thebestdream.”
Hishandcametomyarm,andhebrushedhisfingersacrossmyskin.Hewatchedhishandclosely.“Theweddingistomorrow.”
Inodded.“Mhm.”
Hiseyesmetmine,sobeautifulinthemorninglight.“Westillon,Adams?”
Therewassomethingaboutthewayhelookedatmewiththatsoft,affectionategazetingedwithuncertaintythatmademyheartexpandinmychest.Iwasmarryingthisguytomorrow,andIdidn’tfeelalickofhesitation.Iprobablyshouldhave,becausewhowoulddowhatweweredoing?Noone.Itwascrazy.Iknewthat,andyet,lyinginhisbed,satedandbonelessandcomfortable,gazinguponhisfreakinggorgeousface,runningmyhandsoverhisincrediblebody,Icouldn’tthinkofanyreasonswhyweshouldn’tgetmarriedtomorrow.
“I’llbethere.I’llbetheoneinthewhitedress.”
Hegrinnedandpulledmeagainsthim.“Comehere.”Hismouthcoveredmine.
“Ihavemorningbreath,”Iprotested.
“Don’tcare,”hemumbledagainstme.
Ourkissesstartedslow,butapparently,thesexmarathonfromthelasttwelvehourshadn’twrungusoutyetbecauseafterafewminutes,webecamemorefrantic,andourhandsexplored.Hislengthpressedagainstme,andIslippedmyhandintohisrunningshorts.
“Wait,I’msweaty.”
Ishookmyheadathim.“Don’tcare.”
Butheslidoutfromundermeandjoggedovertothebathroom.
“Getbackhere!”
“I’llbefast,Ipromise.”
Asecondlater,Iheardtheshowerturnon.Islippedoutofbedandpausedatthedoorofthebathroom,watchingmyGreekgodstandunderthewater,headtiltedbacktowethishair,eyesclosed.Hiserectionjuttedoutandaflushofpleasureandexcitementbloomedlowinmybelly.
“Hi,”Isaid,steppingintotheshower.
Hiseyesopenedandflaredwithheatashepulledmecloser.“Hi.”
***
“CanImakeyousomebreakfastbeforeIleave,sweetheart?”Emmettaskeddownstairsashemovedaroundthekitchen.
Ipouredacoffeeandshookmyhead.“No,thankyou,darling.I’llhavesomethingattherestaurant.Idon’tliketoeatrightawayinthemornings.”
“Noted.”Hepressedakissagainstmytemple,makingmegrinintomycoffee
Lastnightwas…sigh.Andthenagainlastnightwas…sigh.Andthismorning?Sigh.Andthenagainintheshower?Siiiiigh.
Itookasipofcoffee,surveyinghimoverthemug.“IfthisislifebeingmarriedtoEmmettRhodes,Icouldgetusedtothis.”
Hechuckledandwrappedhisarmsaroundmefrombehind.Isettledintohiswarmembrace,leaningbackintohim.
“Letmemakeyoudinnertonight.Wecanhaveaquietnightbeforetomorrow’schaos.”
Andheevencooked.WhatwormholehadItrippedandfellthrough?“Thatsoundsperfect.”
Hismouthcametomyneck,andIshivered.Whatwasitabouthistouchthatelicitedsuchareactionfromme?ItwaslikeIwasmagnetizedtohim,drawntohim,andresponsivetoanytouchorbrushofhisfingers.Evenaftertwoorgasmsthismorning,Icravedhistouch.
“Dowehavetime?”Myvoicewassoft,andIcouldalreadyfeelmydesiregrowing.“Don’tyouhavetogettowork?”
“Don’tcare.”Hisvoicewaslow.Hekissedthecornerofmymouthandmyeyesfellclosed.
Onthecounter,aphonebuzzed.
“Isthatmeoryou?”Imumbledagainsthismouth.
“Don’tcare,”hesaidagain.HeturnedmychairsothatIfacedhimbeforegrippingmyhair,tiltingmyheadback,andkissingmedeep.Imoanedintohismouth.
Thebuzzingstoppedandthekitchenwasquietexceptfortherustleofourhandsoneachother’sclothingandthelittlegaspscomingfrommeasEmmettranhismouthdownmyneck.
Thebuzzingstartedagain.
Hegroanedinirritationandraisedhisheadtolookovermyshoulder.“It’syourphone.”
“I’llturnitoff.”Ireachedforit.Max’snameflashedacrossthescreen.IfrownedatEmmett.“Ishouldgetthis.”
“No.”Hetookitfrommyhandandplaceditonthecounterbeforepullingmebacktohim.
Ilaughedandmeltedintohim.
Thebuzzingbeganagain,andEmmettgroaned.
“Letmejustseewhathewants,andwecangobacktofoolingaroundliketeenagers,”Itoldhim,andhesighed,keepinghisarmslockedaroundme.Iansweredthecall.“Hi,Max.”
“Thisbetterbegood,”Emmettgrowledbesideme,loudenoughforMaxtohear.
“Finally.”Max’svoicewastenseandurgent.“Didyouseemytexts?”
“No,I’vebeenawayfrommyphone.”MygazeflickedtoEmmett.Hewatchedmewithdarkeyesandbegantounzipmyhoodie.Igrinnedandslappedhishandaway.“What’sup?”
“Threeserversaresick,thesupplier’struckwasinanaccidentsowedon’thaveanyeggs,abusloadofhungrytouristsjustwalkedinthedoor,andweneverhaveenoughforks!Wheredoalltheforksgo?Arethedishwashersjustthrowingtheminthegarbage?”Hisvoicewavered.“Wecan’tbethekindofplacetouseplasticforks,Avery.Wejustcan’t.WhyareFridaymorningsalwayslikethis?”
“Okay,okay.Takeadeepbreath.”Iadoptedthevoiceofacalmwoman,likeoncommercials.Emmett’shandsroamedmytorsoandIbitbackagrinandleanedintohiswarmth.“Whowasdriving?WasitJohn?Isheokay?”
“Yes,andhe’sfine.ItwasjustafenderbenderbutIthinkhepoppedatire.”
“I’mgoingtocallthegrocerystoreandpullinafavor.You’llhaveeggsintenminutes.I’llfindtheforks.It’sgoingtobeokay.I’monmyway.”
Emmett’smouthwasonmyear,makingmeshiver.“She’ssick.Shecan’twork.”
“Areyousicktoo!?”Maxsqueaked.
“No,Max,I’mfine,”Ilaughed.“Emmett’sjustjoking.”
“Notjoking,”Emmettmurmuredagainstthecrookofmyneck.“Thinkyouhaveafever.”
Maxhuffedabreath.“Also,IsawChucktalkingtoKeiko.”
Ifroze.“Aboutwhat?”Emmettliftedhisheadtolisten.
“Idon’tknow,butshelookeduncomfortable.”
Ichewedmylip.“Okay.HolddownthefortuntilIgetthere.I’llbethereinafewminutes.”
WehungupandEmmettandIlookedateachother.
“He’suptosomething.”Emmett’shandscametomyshouldersandacreaseformedbetweenhiseyebrows.“Idon’tlikehowhe’sbeenhangingaroundsomuchlately.”
“Idon’tlikeiteither,butIcan’treallystophim.I’llcheckinwithKeikotodaytomakesurewe’reallgood.”WehadabankappointmentonTuesdaytosignthepaperworkandtransferthebusinessovertome.Iknewthenextfewdayswouldbeablur,withtheweddingandall,butfourdaysfeltlikeforever
IroseuponmytoestogiveEmmettaquickkiss.“Ishouldgo.”
“I’lldriveyou.”
ThemorningflewbyasMax,myself,andoneotherservermanagedtokeepafullrestauranthappy.Thebusloadoftouriststurnedouttobeingreatspirits,andveryunderstandingofourstaffshortage.Thedishwasherhadnotbeentossingtheforksinthegarbage,butplacingtheminaspotfourfeetawayfromwhereMaxthoughttheywere,sothatissuewassorted.John,thedeliverydriver,showedupafterlunchwithanewtireandallthefoodwehadbeenrunningoutof.
Duringthelullbetweenlunchanddinner,MaxandIstoodatthebar,catchingourbreaths.Therewereafewlingeringtablesbuttherushwasoverandeverythingwasfinallyundercontrol.
“Wehaven’thadadaylikethatinawhile.”Myvoicesoundeddazed.
Maxleanedagainstthebar,staringatnothinginfrontofhim.“Ican’tfeelmyfeet.”
“Gohome.”Inudgedhimwithmyelbow.“You’vebeenheresinceopening.I’msupposedtobetheworkaholic,notyou.”
“I’llwaituntilRachelgetshere,”
ThefrontdooropenedandRachelbreezedin.“Hey,”shesaidwithacheerfulsmile.
IturnedtoMax.“Gohome.”
Afterpracticallykickinghimoutthedoor,Maxrelentedandleft.Twomoreserversarrivedandwepreparedfordinnerservice.ItwasFridaynightsotherestaurantwasfulloftourists,andIsteppedinonbartohelpmixdrinks.Atonepoint,IsteppedintomyofficeandshotEmmettaquicktext.
We’reslammedtonight,isitokayifIraincheckonourdinner?I’msosorry.
Herespondedimmediately.
Absolutely.I’llbeherewhenyougethome.
Home.Mychestfeltthedownwardtugofdisappointment,though.DidImissEmmett?I’donlyseenhimthatmorning,butIhadthoughtabouthimthroughouttheday,felthisfingersinmyhairandhisarmsaroundmeandhislipsonmine.Afractionofmepulledaway,tellingmethatthisfeelingwastoodelicious,tooindulgentandthatitwouldn’tlast.Therestofmewantedmore.TherestofmewantedasmuchEmmettasIcouldget.
Comebytherestaurantaroundeight,Itexted.IhesitatedbutmyfingerstextedthewordsbeforeIcouldholdthemback.Imissyou.
Imissyou,too,Adams.Seeyouaroundeight.
MyheartswoopedanddippedandIbitbackasmilebeforeslippingthephoneintomypocketandopeningthedoortomyoffice.
Elizabethstoodinthedoorwaywithherhandpoised,abouttoknock.
Abiggrinstretchedovermyface.“Hello,there.”
Herfacelitupwhenshesawme.“JustthepersonIwaslookingfor.Howareyoudoing,honey?”
Inodded.“Good,good.Comein.”Isteppedbackandshefollowedmeintomysmalloffice,takingaseat.“Thechaosofthismorningisoverandnowwe’rebacktoregularchaoticlevelsaroundhere.”
Sheraisedaneyebrow,thesamewayEmmettdidsometimes.“Imeantabouttomorrow.”
Thewedding.Right.Iglanceddownatthesparklyringonmyfinger,theoneIhadgottensousedtowearingIwasn’tsurehowI’devertakeitoff.Iwasgettingmarriedtomorrow.Fakemarried,butstill,married.AnimageofEmmettinhissuitpoppedintomyheadandalittlethrillrolledthroughme.Itookadeepbreathandnodded.“I’mfeelinggood.”
Elizabethwatchedwithaconcernedexpression.“It’sokaytobenervous.Iwas.”
Iglancedupather.“Youwere?”
“Oh,yes.Terrified.It’sabigday!Allthosepeople,watching,staring,waitingformetotriponmydressorsaythewrongman’snameorboltbeforeIgotdowntheaisle.”
Istaredatherinhorror.Ihadn’tbeenthinkingaboutanyofthosethings,butIsureashellwasnow.
Shethrewherhandsup.“Notthatyou’regoingtodoanyofthat!Andifyoudo,everyonewilljustlaughitoff.”
“Okay.”Isoundeddazedandunsure.
Sheputherhandsovermine.“Sweetheart.It’sgoingtobegreat.Iknowit.”
Ilookedatwhereherhandscoveredmineandsmiledagain.“Iknow.”Iglancedupather.“I’mreallyluckytohaveyou.”
Shemelted.“Honey,no.I’mtheluckyone.”Shesighed.“IalwaysworriedaboutEmmett.He’stheoldestandhe’stheonewhotakescareofeveryoneelse.Whenhisbrothersgetintotroubleorneedhelp,it’sEmmettsteppingin.He’salwaysatthehouse,doingrepairsandmakingSamandIdinnerandbuyingusthings.He’ssoindependentandIalwaysworriedthathe’dneverhavesomeoneinhiscorner,takingcareofhim.”Sheswallowed.“Untilyou,honey.I’msohappyhehasyou.Icanseehowmuchhelovesyou.”
Myheartthrashedinmychest,desperatetogetout.Thissweet,kind,sincerewomanhadbeennothingbutwelcomingtomesincethedayshemetme,andhereIwas,lyingtoher.Mythroatsqueezed.IdidloveEmmett,though,Ijustcouldn’ttellhim.TheonlypersonIwaslyingtothesedayswashim.
Inoddedather.IwantedtobethatpersonforEmmett,thepersoninhiscorner,lookingoutforhim.
“Ilovehim,too,”Iadmitted,andthetensioninmychesteasedafraction.Itfeltgoodtosayoutloudtosomeone.
Hereyescrinkled.“Iknow.”Shegavemyhandanotherwarmsqueeze,asifshecouldseemyanguish.“Tomorrow’sgoingtobeagreatday,andwe’regoingtocelebrateasafamily.”Shegavemeameaningfullook.“Thatincludesyou,now.”
Growingup,itwasalwaysjustmymomandI.Evenwhenmyparentswerestilltogether,mydadwasn’treallythere.Sure,helivedinthehouse,buthe’dbeoutlatewithfriends,claiminghewasnetworkingormakingbusinessdealsorwhatever.Ididn’treallyknowhissideofthefamily,andmymomwasanonlychild,soIdidn’tgrowupwithcousinsandauntsanduncleslikeotherkidsdid.
SosteppingintotheRhodesfamilylikethis,withthemusheringmeinwitharedcarpet,openarmsandall,itwaslikesinkingintobedafteralongdayattherestaurant.ItwaseverythingIdidn’trealizeIwanted.Family.Fornow,atleast.
Heart,meetwreckingball.Preparetogetsmashedintoathousandpieceswhenthisisallover.
“Alright.”Elizabethsmiledatmeamomentbeforestanding.“I’mreallyexcitedabouttomorrow.It’sgoingtobeagreatdayandwe’reallgoingtohavealotoffun.Now,givemeahug.”
Istoodandletherpullmeintoanembrace.ShesmelledlikelavenderandImentallycataloguedthismomentsoI’dhaveitforever.
AfterElizabethhadleft,Ireturnedtothebartohelp.Dinnerserviceflewby,andthelastdinerswerefinishingtheirmealswhenKeikotookaseatatthebar.
Igreetedherwithabiggrin.“Well,hello,stranger.Iwaswonderingifyou’ddropbytoday.”
SheleanedonthebarandwatchedasIwipeditdown.“Whyareyouworkingtoday?Youshouldberelaxingathome.”
“Wehadacouplestaffcallinsick.Idon’tmind.Iloveithere.”
Shesmiled.“Iknowyoudo.”
“Wouldyoulikeaglassofwine?”
Shenodded.
“Cabsavormerlot?”
“Cabsav,please.”SheshiftedonherchairandwatchedmyhandsasIselectedtherightglass.SheclearedherthroatandIshotheracuriousglance.
IsawChucktalkingtoKeiko.Max’swordsranginmyheadfromthismorning.Shelookeduncomfortable
WeweresobusytodaythatIhadforgotten.Iwasn’tsurehowtobringthatupwithKeikowithoutsoundingnosy,though.Itwasn’tmybusinesswhoshespoketo.
“Iwantedtotalktoyouaboutsomething.”HergazeflickedbetweenthebottleIpouredfromandmyeyes.
“Okay.”Mytonewashesitant.
“It’snothing,really,butI’dratheryouhearditfrommeandnotsomeoneintown.Queen’sCoveresidentslovetogossip.”
IrememberedhowquicklynewsofEmmettandIspread.“Dotheyever.”
Shetoyedwiththestemofherwineglass.“Chuckapproachedmetodaywithanoffertobuytherestaurant.”
Mymouthdropped.
Keikolookedupquickly.“I’mnotgoingtoselltohim,ofcourse,butIwantedtokeepyouintheloop.Thisdoesn’tchangeanything.”
Mymindwasgoingamileaminutebutnocoherentthoughtsformed.“Howdid—”Ishookmyhead.“Whydoeshethink—”Ibrokeoffagain.Mythroatclosedup.Thatfuckingrat.Hewasalwayssneakingaround,justwaitingformetoturnmybacksohecouldshovemeoutoftheway.Furyrattledmyribcage.“Fuck.”
“Fuck,indeed.”
Asurprised,humorlesslaughfelloutofmymouth.ItwasthefirsttimeIhadheardKeikoswear.Iblinkedrapidly.“Howmuchdidheofferyou?”
Sheglancedupatme,thenbackdownatherwine.“It’snotimportant.”
Inarrowedmyeyes.“Yes,itis.Howmuch?”
Shesighed.“Tenpercentmore.”
“Tenpercentmore?”Igapedather.
“Avery.”Hertonewassternandshepinnedmewithhergaze.“IamnotinterestedinChuckowningTheArbutus,andItoldhimthat.Mydecisionisfinal.”
Icrossedmyarmsandleanedagainstthebar.IhatedthatChuckputherinthisposition,thatshewasturningdownmoremoneybecauseofme.Andyet,I’ddoanythingtobuythisplace.Iuncrossedmyarmsandtwistedmyringaroundmyfinger.“Keiko,Idon’tknowwhattosay.I’msorrythishappened.”
“It’sokay.”Shegavemealittlesmileandtookasipofwine.“Chuckwon’tgetinthewayofyourdream.Tuesday,it’sallyours.”
Ipulledadeepbreathintomylungsandnodded.Tuesdaycouldn’tcomesoonenough.OnewrongmoveandChuckwaswaitinginthewings,readytoscoopthisplaceup.
ThefrontdooropenedandEmmettwalkedintotherestaurantholdingabouquetofflowers.Myheartlifted.AlltheemotionsIhadbeenfeelingtodaybroke,leavingmeexhaustedandrelievedtoseehim.
SomethinginmyexpressioncausedKeikototurnaround.“Ah,”shesaidwhenshesawEmmett.“Avery,gogiveyourfiancéaproperhello.I’mgoingtoenjoyafewmomentsalone.”
Inodded.“Soundsgood.Enjoy.”Isteppedaroundthebarandwanderedovertohim.Hisgazestayedonmetheentiretime.“Hi.”
“Hi,sweetheart.”Hedroppedakissonmycheek.HisskinwaswarmagainstmineandIfeltitdowntomytoes.
Inoddedtotheflowers.“Aretheseforme?”Roses,adeepbloodred,moodyandromantic.Myheartpinged,andIcouldn’thidemysmileofdelight.Ineverboughtflowersformyselfbecausethey’djustdiewithinafewdays,anditalwaysfeltlikeawasteofmoney.Thesewerebeautiful,though.Theindulgenceofthem,thatEmmettboughtthemforme,mademystomachflutter.
Henodded.“Theyare.Isthisagoodtime?”
“Youbet.Thankyousomuch.”Istuckmynoseintothebouquetandinhaledthefreshfloralscent.“What’stheoccasion?”
“Mygirlhadthedayfromhell.”
Mygirl.IfIhadadiary,I’dwritethosewordsdownsoI’dneverforgethimsayingthem.Ilookedaroundattherestaurant,bathedinsoftlighting.“Youknow,itstartedgreat,”Igavehimawink,andhisgazeheated.“Thenitwentdownhill,”Iwinced,“butit’slookingupagain.Thisisjusthowtherestaurantindustryis.Stuffhappensandwedealwithit.Whydon’tyoutakeaseat,I’llgoputtheseinmyofficeandwecanhaveadrink.”
Hegavemeanotherquickkissonmycheekandhisstubblebrushedmyskin.“Sure.”
WhenIreturnedtothediningroom,Emmettwasseatedatatablenearthewindowwithanuncorkedbottleofwine.
IslippedintotheseatacrossfromEmmettandgavehimasoftsmileasIleanedmychinonmypalm.“I’mhappytoseeyou.”
“I’mhappytoseeyoutoo,Adams.Missedyoutoday.”Hereachedacrossthetabletocovermyotherhandwithhis.
Inearlygroanedatthewarmthofhishand.Ifhepulledmeoutofhererightnowandcarriedmetohisbed,Iwouldn’tmindonebit.
“Tired?”
IwantedtotellhimaboutChuckmakingKeikoanoffer,butIrememberedElizabeth’swordsfrommyoffice,abouthowEmmettwasalwaystakingcareofothers.Withthecampaign,Will’sfamilystuff,andtomorrow’swedding,Ididn’twanttoaddyetanotherproblemontohisplate.“I’mokay.Tiredinagoodway.”
“WhatdidChuckwantfromKeikothismorning?”
Somuchfornottellinghim.IguesshedidoverhearMaxtellingmethatonthephone.Iletalongbreathoutandmethisgazewithhesitance.“HemadeheranofferonTheArbutus.”
Emmett’sgazelostallthewarmthfrommomentsago.“What?”Histonewaslowandcold.
Iwinced.“Hemadeheranoffertenpercenthigherthanmine.”WhenEmmettglancedovermyshoulderatKeiko,Ishookmyhead.“Sheturnedhimdown.Shedoesn’twanthimowningthisplaceeither.”
Emmett’smouthsetinafirmlineandhishandmadeafistonthetable.“Adams,listentome.Thatguywillnotbuythisrestaurant.”
Inodded,twirlingtheringonmyringer.“Iknow.”
“Doyou?”Hiseyebrowswentupandhewatchedmyexpression.“You’regettingyourrestaurant,Adams.”Heslippedmylefthandintohisandmovedmyringbackandforth.Webothlookedatitasitcaughtthelightandglintedbackatus.“Wemadeadeal.”
Hiswordscomfortedsomethinginme,andyetitwasanotherremindedthatwhatweweredoingwasjustanagreement.
“Idon’twanttothinkaboutthisanymore.”Iliftedmygazetomeethisashisfingersbrushedmine.“Ijustwanttohaveanicenightwithyou.”
HewatchedmeandIlethim.Somethingabouthisgazemademefeelbothenergizedandatease.Iwantedhimtolookatme.Ienjoyedthewayhiseyesmovedoverme,takinginmyfeatures.
Hepulledhishandbackandreachedintohisjacketpocket.“Ihavesomethingforyou.”Therewasaflareofcontainedexcitementinhiseyes.
Itiltedmyhead.“Youalreadygavemeflowers.”
“Iknow.Iwasgoingtogivethesetoyoutomorrow,butyou’vehadadayandIthinknow’stherighttime.”Heplacedalittlenavy-bluevelvetboxonthetableinfrontofme,andIstaredatit.
Thislookedexactlyliketheboxfromtheengagementringonmyfinger.Myheartbeathardandfastinmychest.IglancedupatEmmettandhesmiled,waitingandwatching.Hiseyebrowswiggledupanddownandmypulsepickedup.
WasEmmettproposing…forreal?
Icrackedtheboxopen.
Earrings.
Inearlylaughedatmyself.Ofcoursehewasn’tproposingforreal.
Theearringssparkled,twoclustersofdiamondsinasimilarstyletomyring.“Wow,”Ibreathed,glancingupathim.
Hebeamedbackatme.“Youlikethem?”
Inodded.“They’regorgeous.”
Helookedpleased.Sopleased.“Good.Ihadthesamejewellerwhomadeyourringwhipthemup.”
Isnorted.“Whipthemup?Socasual.Doyouhaveajewelleronspeeddial?”
Heraisedaneyebrow.“Idonow.”
Agringrewacrossmyface,andthemostdeliciouswarmthspreadthroughmychest.
“You’reareallygoodman,youknowthat?”
Somethingshutteredbehindhiseyes.Thequickestflicker.Hesitation,maybe.ItwasgonebeforeIcouldcatchit,andhejustreachedforthebottleofwinetopourmeanotherglass.
Istood.Hisgazesnaggedonme,andhelookedlikehewasgoingtoaskmeaquestion,butIwalkedaroundthetable,leaneddown,andkissedhim.
This.IthadbeenmaybetenhourssinceIhaddonethislast,andyetmyentirebodyfeltlikeIwasonthedownpartofarollercoaster.Hegroanedintome,andIinhaledhimandhisfuckingincrediblescent.
Emmett.It’sEmmett,Ithoughttomyself.IguessithadalwaysbeenEmmett.
Ididn’tknowwhatIwasgoingtodowiththatthought,soIleftitfloatinginmyheadwhileIremindedEmmettofhowthiskissingthingworked.
“It’snotcuteanymore,”thehost,Rachel,calledasshepassed.“It’sgettinggross.”
Welaughedagainsteachother,andIreturnedtomysideofthetable.Atriumphant,cockysmilespreadacrossmyfacewhenIsawthatEmmettlookedabitdazed.Hemadeasatisfiedhumtohimself,andheatflaredagaininhisgaze.
“Ipickedupthemarriagecertificatetoday.”Hewatchedmeclosely.
“Okay.”
Hischestroseandfellashetookadeepbreath.Heclearedhisthroat.“We’llsignitattheceremony,butIwon’tfileitatcityhall.Themarriagewon’tbevalidunlessIfileit.”
HewatchedmyfaceasItriedtoholditneutral.Right.Ourfakemarriage.Myheartachedonce,sharpandfast,andIswallowed.
Therealizationhitme.Iswatteditawaylikeawaspatapicnic,butitwouldn’tleave.
Ididn’twantthistobeafakemarriage.
Iwantedittobereal.Iwantedtofilethatmarriagecertificatewithbothournamesonit.Iwantedtowakeuptohismouthonmeandhisarmsaroundmeandusscramblingagainsteachother.Iwantedtofallasleepinhisbedroom.Iwantedittobemybedroom,too.Iwantedtolaughwithhimattheturtlerescueashegaggedandtriedtohandtheturtlesoff.IwantedtogotoRhodesfamilydinnerswithhim.IwantedmorenightsatCastleBeach,justthetwoofuseatingsushiandtalking.
Hesitationtrickledintomymind.Marriagemeantwewouldowneverythingfifty-fifty.Emmettwouldco-ownTheArbutus.
Iliftedmygazetomeethis.Emmettdidn’twantarealmarriage,anyways.Hehadtoldmehewasn’tafamilykindofaguy,notarelationshipandcommitmentkindofguy.Itwasn’tinthecardsforhim.Iknewthisfromthebeginning.Wehadalwaysbeenonthesamepage.Thiswasthedeal.
Ipushedthethoughtsawayandnodded.“Okay.Wewon’tfilethecertificate.”
Thiswasn’tanusproblem,itwasameproblem.I’ddealwithitlikeIdealtwitheverything—alone.Besides,itwouldbeeasiernottofeelthesethingsafterourfakemarriagewasoverandIhadmovedbackintomyownplaceandwedidn’tseeeachothereveryday.
Iwasgoingtoenjoyitwhileitlasted,though,becauseI’dprobablynevergetsomethinglikethisagain.
Wesatthereforawhile,chattingaboutnothing,justenjoyingeachother’scompanyuntilthebottlewasemptyandEmmettreachedformyhand.
“Shallweheadhome,Adams?”Histhumbbrushedthebackofmyhand,andIshivered.
Icouldn’ttellEmmettwhathemeanttome.Icouldshowhim,though.Icouldpoureveryounceofwhatswirledaroundinsideme,allthisaffection,longing,andneed,intoshowinghimwhathemeanttome.
Tonight,I’dletmyselfbealittleinlovewithEmmettRhodes.22Avery
Theentiredrivehome,wesentsecretivelittlegrinsacrossthecarateachother.Hisgazerakedmyformwithappreciation,andIglancedbetweenhishandsomefaceandhisstronghandgrippingthesteeringwheel.Hisotherhandwaswrappedaroundmythigh,anchoringme,remindingmethatIwashis.
Iswallowed.IfIthoughttoohardaboutit,I’dfreakout,soIdidn’tthink.IletmyselfgetswallowedupbyEmmettandhisradiance.Iletmyselfbehis.
Heparkedandcaughtmyhandonthewalkuptohisfrontdoor.Inside,hewaitedformetoslipmyshoesoffbeforehebackedmeagainstthefrontdoorandplacedhishandsagainstthedooroneithersideofmyhead.Iwascagedinbyhim,andIlikedit.
Hisheatedgazemetmineashehoveredinchesfrommymouth.“I’vebeenthinkingaboutyouallday.”
“Oh,yeah?”Imeanttosoundconfident,butitcameoutbreathless.Hisproximitywasmakingmypulserace.Myhandscametohischest.Hiswarmthradiatedthroughhisshirt.
Henoddeddownatme.“Mhm.AndI’vebeenverypatienttoday.”
Ishiveredathislowtoneandnoddedbackathim.
Heglancedatmymouth,andhisAdam’sapplebobbed.
Hismouthwassoclose,ifIjustraisedmyselfuponmytiptoes,Icouldreachhim.ButIwantedtoseewhathe’ddonext.“Youdon’thavetobepatientanymore.”
Heatflaredinhisgaze,andhecoveredmymouthwithhis.Wegroanedsimultaneously,andhishandscametomyassbeforehehoistedmeagainsthim.Myankleswrappedaroundhisback,myarmsloopedaroundhisneck,andhecarriedmeupthestairswhilewekissed.HetastedlikethewineweweredrinkingandsomethingspecificallyEmmett.
Inthebedroom,wekissedwhileweshedourclothes,andwekissedwhileweclimbedintohisbed,himpullingthefluffyduvetoverus.Hewassowarm.Ipressedmyselfupagainsthimtocapturesomeofhisheat,allwhilemyownheatpooledbetweenmylegs.Hishandsroamedmybody,noturgentlylikethismorningbutslowly,likehewassavoringme.
Hishardlengthpushedagainstmystomach,andIreachedforit.HegroanedwhenIstrokedhimandpulledhimselffrommygrasp.
“Iwanttotouchyou.”Ireachedagain,buthegrabbedmywristsandheldfirm.
“Notyet.”Hismouthcametomynipple,andmyeyesfellclosed.“There’ssomethingIneedfirst.”
Histonguefeltincredible,movingoverthepinchedpeaksofmybreastwhilehisfingersrolledtheother.Imadeshort,sharpwhimperswhileheworked,andmylegsclenchedtightlytogether.Hisfingersmetmethereandcircledmyclit.
“Emmett,”Imoaned,andhemadeanothernoiseofappreciation.
“I’llnevergetsickofyousayingmyname.”Hisvoicewaslow,andhelookedupatmewitheyesfulloffire.“Never.”
BeforeIcouldrespond,hemovedandloweredhismouthtomyclit,runninghistongueoverthesensitivebundleofnerves.Myheadrolledback.Histonguemovedslickcirclesonme,windingmetighter.
“Fuck,youtastesogood.I’mgoingtodothistoyoueveryday.Everyday,I’mgoingtoremindyouthatyou’remine.”
Hiswordsonlyintensifiedthepleasure.Mine,hehadsaid.Ilikedit.IwasAveryAdams,soon-to-bebusinessowner,feminist,andindependentperson,andIwasgettingvery,veryturnedonbyEmmettlayingclaimoverme.
“I’vebeenthinkingaboutyougettingwetallovermyfaceallday.”Hisvoicewaslowashistongueswirledmyclit.Hesoundedlikehewastalkingtohimself,orpraying.“I’maddictedtothispussy.”
Iwascharged,fullofelectricityandreadytosnapwhenheslidafingerinsidemeandrubbedmyG-spot.
“You’resoakingmyhand,baby.”
Pleasurerattledthroughme,andwhenhelockedhismouthonmyclitandsucked,Icamehardaroundhisfingers,myhipsjerkingagainsthismouth,cryingouthisnameinthebedroom.
“Iwishedthatwasyourcock,”Irasped,catchingmybreath.“Iwantedtocomeonyou.”
Hekneltovermeandbracedhiselbowsoneithersideofmyhead.Helookeddownatmewiththoseglitteringgreyeyes,andIhadthemostspectacularsensationofseeingmylifeasitwasthisverymoment.Trulyseeingmyself,lyinghereinbedwithEmmett,themanIwasheadoverheelsfor,hismasculine,cleanscentenvelopingme,andhisbodypressedagainstmine.IfIcouldfreezethismoment,keepalittlepieceofitwithmeforever,Iwould.
Emmett’schestthuddedagainstmine.
“Icanfeelyourheartbeat.”Myvoicewasbarelyaboveawhisper.
Hisgazelockedonmine.“That’sforyou,Adams.”
Myheartoverflowedwhenhesaidthat.Iliftedmyheadtokisshimandmovedmyhipssothathishardnesswasagainstmysoftcenter.Heworeapainedexpression,likeIwashurtinghim.
Iwaitedforhimtopressintome,andwhenhedidn’t,mymouthhitched.“Comeon.”
Aflashofalaughcrossedhisface.Andwasthat…nerves?“Idon’twantthistobeoversosoon.”
Didhemeansex,ordidhemeanus?WasEmmettfeelingthesamehesitationtoendingouragreementthatIwas?
WasthereachanceEmmettwasheadoverheels,undeniablyinlovewithmethewayIwaswithhim?
Iswallowedandtookashakybreath.“Iknow.Meneither.”
Hisexpressionsoftened,andhedroppedanothersweet,lingeringkissonmymouth.Ishiftedagainbeneathhim,reachingdowntopositionhim,andhesunkintome,slowandsteady.
Imoanedagainsthimatthedeliciousfull,stretchingfeelingofhiscockinsideme.Mybreathscameoutingasps.
Emmett’sforeheaddroppedtothebedbesidemyear,andhegroanedasheslowlyslidinandoutofme.“Avery.”
Pleasurecoiledaroundmyspine,andmylegstingledasEmmetthitthenerveendingsinsideme.Hisfingerscametomyclitandagainhecircledit.Mybackarchedoffthebed.Iwascloseagain.
“Another?”Isoundedincredulous.“Seriously?”
Hisvoicewasagrowlinmyear.“Letmeloveyou,Avery.”Hisfingersworkedfast,andIclenchedhimhard.Hegroanedagain.“Comeforme,baby.Ineedyoutocomeagain.”
Hiswordsregistered—letmeloveyou—butIdidn’thavetimetothinkaboutthem,turnthemover,pickthroughthem.ThepressurelowinmybellyexpandedandIletoutalowmoan.Emmettlookeddownintomyeyes,andIcouldfeelthesilentscreamonmyfaceasIcamearoundhim,asmyorgasmtensedeverymuscle.Emmettwasbarelyholdingon,fromhispainedexpression,buthewatchedmyfacewithfascinationandreverenceastheorgasmrolledthroughmeinwaves.Iwasvaguelyawareofhimsayinggoodandfuckyesandthat’sitasIarchedandgasped.
Inoddedathimwithmychestheaving,urginghimtolethimselflosecontrol,andhiseyesrolledbackintohisheadashethrustharderintome.Hedroppedhisforeheadtomine.Hishipsjerkedhard.
“Avery.”Hegrittedthewordsoutwhilegrippingmetohischest,andIfeltsocoveted.LikeIbelongedtohim.“Baby.”
Wecaughtourbreaths,andashepressedhismouthtomyforeheadwithahumofsatisfaction,Iwilledmyselftoremembereverysecondofthis.
IneverwantedtoforgetbeinginlovewithEmmettRhodes.23Avery
“I’msupposedtomakesureyou’veeaten.”
Hannah’ssoftvoiceyankedmefrommydaydreamsaboutEmmettandallthedeliciousthingswehaddoneinthepastfewdays.
Nakedthings.Thingsthatmademegaspandhimgroan.ThingsthatmademystomachdoadeliciousrollforwardwheneverIthoughtaboutthem.
Istuckmytongueoutather,andsherolledhereyes,smilingbeforeshenudgedagranolabartowardsme.
Wewereinthebookstore,gettingreadyforthewedding.SpiceGirlsplayedquietlyinthebackgroundwhileweputthefinishingtouchesonourmakeup.Thesidetablesbesidethesquashybluechairswereclutteredwiththecontentsofourmakeupcollections.Thefrontdoorwaslockedandtherewasa“ClosedforWeddingDay!”signupthatIhadseenatafewdifferentbusinessesintown.EmmettwasatHolden’s,gettingreadywithhimandWill,whohadcomeintotownwithhisfamilyjustforourwedding.ElizabethhadjustleftaftertakingahundredpicturesofHannahandIamongstthebooks.Divhadbeenreadytohirehairandmakeupartists,butIstoppedhim—IwantedtospendthistimealonewithHannah.WitheverythinggoingonwithEmmettandtherestaurant,IfeltlikeIhadn’tspentenoughtimewithherrecently.
Iglancedatthegranolabar.Icouldalreadyfeelthedry,chalkytextureinmymouthandImadeaface.TherewasnowayIcouldeatit.Mystomachtensed.
Iwasabitnervous.
Anxietyroseanddippedinmygut.Despitemyprotestsandgrabbyhands,Emmettslidoutofbedearlythismorning.Atonepoint,Iheardtheshowerrunning,andthenafteraquickkissonmyforehead,heleft,andIhadthehousetomyself.
Inthebookstore,IsmiledatHannahasIslippedmynewearrings,theonesEmmetthadgivenmeyesterday,intomyears.“Ihadlunch.I’mokay.”Igesturedatherdress.“Youlooklovely.”
Sheworeanicebluesilkdresswithtinyflowersandacinchedwaist.Shewavedahand,embarrassedatthecompliment.
“Thanks.”Sheshrugged.“Justwantedtolookgreatforyourbigday.Evenifthewholeweddingisfake.”Shetiltedherheadandlookedthoughtful.“Emmettmightbeagenius.Assoonasyoutwostartedthewholething,thetownwentnutswithexcitement.Andallhehastodoissignonyourloan.Who’sofficiating?”
Iselectedaliplinerfromthetable.“Wyatt.”
Besidethenearestbookshelf,someoneclearedtheirthroatandbothourheadssnappedinthatdirection.
ItwasCynthia,Chuck’swife,standingthere,holdingabookaboutItaly.Hereyesheldafunnygleam.
Mystomachdroppedthroughthefloor.Howmuchdidshehear?
Hannahblinkedfuriously.“Hi,Cynthia,we’reclosed.”Sheglancedatmeandswallowed.“Forthewedding.”
Cynthiaglancedbetweenthetwoofus,buttheexpressiongavenothingaway.“Mymistake.Thedoorwasunlocked.”
“It’sokay.”Hannahstood.“I’llringyouup.”
Hannahledhertothedeskandafterafewmoments,Iheardthefrontdoorlockclick.
“IthoughtIlockedit,”shemurmured,sittingdown.
Ichewedmylip.“Doyouthinksheheardus?”
Hannahshookherhead.“Idon’tknow.Shedidn’tsayanything.”Sheswallowed.“Shecreepsmeout.Herhairissospiky.”
IstaredatthespotonthefloorwhereCynthiahadstood.Evenifshehadheard,noonewouldbelieveher.Right?EmmettandIweretooconvincing.“Yeah,shecreepsmeout,too.Whatever.”Irolledmyshoulders.“Let’snotletherruinmyfakewedding.”
ThatcrackedasmilefromHannah.“Agreed.Now,eatthatgranolabar.”ShewatchedmeasIunwrappedthebarandtookabite.“Isit,though?”
“Isitwhat?”
“Fake.”
Mygazecuttoher,andmystomachdropped.Guilty.Sheknew.Shehadfoundmeout.Icouldn’tadmititoutloud,though.Iwasn’tthereyet.Irolledmylipsbetweenmyteeth,choosingmywordscarefully.
Shetiltedherhead.“It’shardtotell.”
ThecornerofmymouthliftedbutIknewthesmiledidn’treachmyeyes.WhatwasIgoingtosay?Yes,Hannah,I’vefalleninlovewithEmmettRhodes,themostunavailableguyintown.Sounavailablehe’dratherhaveafakerelationshipthanarealone.Therealitywasclear—anyrealfeelingswereone-sided,andgettingmyhopesupwasaquickwaytodisappointment.
AtleastIwasright,andEmmettandIwereconvincingasacouple.
Iswallowedanddippedmybrushinpowderbeforefluffingitovermyface.“Thenwe’redoingagoodjob.”
Hannahwatchedmeforamoment,andImethergaze,silentlybegginghertodropthesubject.MyheartteeteredonthebrinkofacliffandifIsaidthethingsoutloud,I’dfall.
Shepointedbesideme.“Passmethesharpener,please.”
Ibreathedasighofrelief,andweputthefinishingtouchesonourhairandmakeupbeforeshehelpedmeintomydressinthestoreroom.
“Beautiful,”shebreathedwhenitwaszippedup.
Ilookedinthemirror.Wearingthisdresswaslikeadream.AfterafewalterationsbyElizabeth,itfitmeperfectly.Itfeltliketheuniversehadsentthisdressspecificallyforme,justtomakemefeelspecialandbeautifulonmybigday.
Mybigfakeday.
Therewasaknockonthedoorandwebothpaused.
“Onesecond,”Hannahsaidbeforemakingherwaytothefront.Murmuringvoicescarriedthroughthestore,andamomentlater,mymomappearedatmyside.
“Iwantedtocheckonyou,seehowyouwereholdingup.”Hereyeswerebright,thesamedarkblueasmyown.Sheworeanavy-bluetea-lengthdressembroideredwithtiny,delicatewhiteflowers.
Mymomhadarrivedintownfirstthingthismorning,andwehadbreakfastattherestaurant.Hereyeshadlitupasshetookintheinteriorwiththechandelierandheritageflooring,andagainwhenshelookedoutthewindowsalongthesparklingwater.Shewasproudofme,Icouldtell,buttherewasatingeofwistfulnessinherexpression,likeshewishedshecouldhaveado-over.
WhenItoldherthatIdidn’tinvitemydad,Iwaitedforherreaction.Shesimplynoddedandpattedmyhand,andthatwasthat.Sheunderstood.
“Youlookgreat,”Itoldher.“Mymomissuchababe.”
Sheblushed.“Oh,stopit.”Icouldtellshelovedit,though.Shesighedandsteppedbacktotakemein.“Justbeautiful,honey.I’msoproudofyou.”
Myheartached.Ihadtheurgetotellherthatitwasallreal,thatIwantedtodothisforreal,andthatIwasmadlyinlovewithEmmett,butshealreadythoughtthosethings.Myfeelingsdidn’tmakesense,soIsqueezedthemtighttokeepthemundercontrol.
“Wouldyoulikeatea,Rina?”Hannahasked,leaningonabookshelf.
“Thatwouldbelovely,honey,thankyou.”MymomsentheragratefulsmileandwhenHannahdisappearedintotheback,sheturnedtoscanmyface.“Howareyoufeeling?”
Icouldn’thelpthegrinonmyface.“I’mgreat.I’mexcited.It’sgoingtobeafunparty.”
Shepressedherlipstogetherinalineandherhandcametomyarm,watchingmecarefully.“Ijustwant—”Shebrokeoffandwinced,shakingherhead.
“What?”
Hermouthtwistedtotheside.“Ijustwanttomakesureyou’remakingtherightdecision.EmmettisaverynicemanandIcanseewhyyou’vechosenhim,butIwishsomeonehadaskedmethisquestionbeforeIgotmarried.”
Ah.Ofcourse.Ididn’tblamemymomforaskingthis.ShebarelyknewEmmettandshehadonlyheardIwaswithsomeoneafewweeksago.Ofcourseitseemedfast.Itwasfast.
“Emmettisn’tDad.”
“Ididn’tsaythathewas,”shesaidquickly.
Inodded.“Iknow.I’msayingit.IsawwhatDaddid,andIwon’teverletthathappentome.”
Hergazesearchedmine.Shenoddedtoherself.“Yes.You’redifferentthanme.”
Ishookmyhead.“Notsodifferent,no.Butyouraisedmeright.”
Shelaughed.“Ifeltlikeafailurealotoftimes.”
“IfIcouldpickagain,I’dstillpickyou.”Iranmythumboverthefabricofmydress.“Iwouldn’tdoitanyotherway.”
Shewatchedmeagain,butthistimeitwaswithfresheyes,likesheknewI’dbeokay.I’dlearnedfromhermistakes.Whathadhappenedtoher,itwouldn’thappentome.
Hannahbreezedintotheroomwithacouplemugs.“PeppermintorEarlGrey?”
Mymomsmiled.“Peppermint,please.”
Thethreeofussatthere,drinkingteaandchattingandlaughing,untiltheteawasfinishedandourmakeupwascomplete.
Mymomstood.“MayIusethewashroombeforeweheadovertothecourthouse?”
Hannahpointedtothebackroom.“Throughtheretotheleft.”
Mymomsteppedintotheback,andHannahandIbegantoputourshoeson.
“Doyoueverwanttogetmarried?”Iworkedthedelicatestrapthroughthebucklearoundmyankle.
“Um.”Herfingersfumbledwithherownanklestrapandsheblinked.“Yes.Totherightperson,ofcourse.”Sheblinkedagain,staringattheothershoeinherhand.“We’llsee.”
Iraisedaneyebrowather.“Anyoneinmind?”
Shesnortedandshookherhead.“No.”
“Youknow,Emmetthasthreebrothers.”Myvoicewasteasing.“Icouldputinagoodwordforyou.”
Hannah’sfaceturnedadeepcrimson.“Pleasedon’t.”
Mymouthdroppedopen.“You’reblushing.”
Hereyesturnedintosaucers.“No,I’mnot.”
“Youare!Hannah.”Ileanedin,narrowingmyeyesather,buthergazewasgluedtohershoe.“DoyouhaveacrushononeoftheRhodesboys?”
“Nope.”Hervoicewasahighsqueak.Shelookedmortified.
“Liar.”ItookonelookatHannah’stenseshouldersandbeet-redface.“I’lldropitfornow,butthisconversationisnotover.”
Mymomreturnedandweleftthebookstoretowalktocityhall.Afewpeoplefromtownspottedusandcalledovertheircongratulations,andIwavedbackandsmiledatthem.Thestreetfeltextraquiet,though.Morethanusual.
“Eventhegrocerystoreisclosed?”IaskedHannah,pointingoveratthedarkenedbuilding.
“Forthewedding.”
Ididn’texpectthegrocerystoretobeclosed.Atinyflickerofanxietylitupmystomach.
Thiswasthewholepointofthewedding,togetpeopleinthetowninvestedsothattheysawEmmettasthestable,responsibleguyonthebrinkofstartingafamily.Inoddedtomyself,standingthereinfrontofcityhall,abouttogoinsideandgetmarried.
“I’mgettingmarried.”Inoddedagain.“Yep.Gettingmarriedinfrontofalotofpeople.”
HannahandmymomexchangedalookbeforeHannah’sconcernedgazeroamedmyface.“Areyouokay?DoyouneedmetogetEmmett?”
Emmett,theguyIwasdoingthisfor.ThemanwhoIwasn’tjusthavingincrediblesexwith,butthemanwhohadbecomeafriend.Mybestfriend,maybe,exceptforHannah.AguyIactuallywantedtohelp.Right.Emmett.Ismiled,thinkingofhishandsomefacewithhisverystraight,strongnoseandsharpjaw,andlightgreyeyesthatwarmedwhenhesmiledatme.
ThattinylittlescaronhislipthatIlovedtobrushmyfingersoverwhenitwasjustthetwoofusinhisbed.
Emmett.Myheartsqueezed.
IshookmyheadandsmiledatHannah.“No,I’mready.”Ifacedforward.“Let’sdothis.”
Weopenedthedoorsandsteppedintothefoyerofcityhall.AboredreceptionistwasonFacetimeandsnappinghergum.Sheglancedupatus.
“Areyougettingmarried?”sheaskedinamonotone.
Inodded.
Thereceptionistpointeddownahallway.“Thatway.”Sheturnedbacktoherphoneandcontinuedherconversation.
Divstoodattheendofthehallway.“Thereyouare,”hesaiduponseeingus.
Hannahturnedtomeandblinkedafewtimes.“Well,”shestarted,clearlywantingtosaysomuch.
Ipulledherintoahug.“Iknow.Iloveyoutoo.”
Shelaughedagainstmeandwhenshepulledback,hereyeswerewet.Sheblinkedthetearsaway,disappearedinsidethecourt,andIstoodtherewithmymom.
Thiswasfeelinglessfakebytheminute.
“Shallwedothis?”Iheldmyarmout,andmymomloopedherarmthroughmine.
“Ready?”Divstoodwithhishandpoisedonthedoor,andwenodded.Heopeneditacrack,gavesomeoneathumbsup,andmusicbeganbeforeheopenedthedoorfully.24Avery
Thedooropenedandwhatfeltlikesixthousandpeopleturnedtostareatme.Mystomachdroppedthroughthefloor.Myheartbegantoraceinmychest,sohardpeoplecouldprobablyseeitpoundingagainstmyneckline.
Mymomtookastepforward.Itriedtomove,butIwasfrozeninplace.
Mybrainwasfrozen.Bloodrocketedthroughmyveins,butIcouldn’tthinkormove.Wasthedressalwaysthistight?Icouldbreathefineduringmyfittingsbutrightnow,Icouldn’tseemtosuckenoughairintomylungs.
Themusicwasstillplayingbuteverypersonintheroomheldtheirbreathinanticipation.
“Honey?”mymomaskedoutofthecornerofhermouth.
Iblinked.WhatwasIdoing?WhydidIsayyestothis?Thiswasterrifying.Thereweresomanypeople,Ididn’tevenknowhalfofthem.Emmett’sbrotherFinnhadflownbackintotownjustforthis.Thiswasn’tfaketothem.Itwasreal,anditwasabigfuckingdeal.MyeyesdartedaroundlikeIwasacowenroutetotheslaughterhouse.
Thisallhingedonme.
Icouldn’tdothis.Ihadtoleave.
MygazerosetoEmmett,standingatthefrontofthecourthouse,fiftyfeetaway.
Hesmiledatme.
Itwasn’thisshinypolitician’ssmilewithahundredteeth.Itwasthelopsided,amused,affectionatesmilehegavemewhenIsaidsomethingsilly.
Right.Emmett.
Mystomachunclenched.
Itookastepforward,andmymomsteppedwithme,lettingoutabreathofrelief.Mymouthcurvedup,andIsmiledbackatEmmett.
Right.Mypulseslowedevenmoreandthebangingfeelingofmyheartinmychestwentaway.Icoulddothis.Icouldbreathe.Ibegantowalkslowlyuptheaisleasthemusicplayed.
Asweapproachedhim,withWyattstandingbehindhim,everyoneoneithersideoftheaisledisappearedfrommyvision.Icouldbarelyevenhearthemusic.IjustwatchedEmmett,keptmygazetrainedonhishandsomeface,thoughtabouthowwonderfulhesmelledandhowniceitwastositonthebeachwithhimtheothernight.Maybewecouldgobackanothertimejusttositthereandwatchthewavesontheshoreandlistentothebirdschirpinthetrees.Thiswasgoingtobeokay,Ijustknewit.
Whenwegottothefront,mymomgavemeakissonthecheekandtookaseat,andEmmettheldhishandouttome,watchingmesteadily.Hisgazewaslikealiferaft,keepingmeafloat,buoyant,andpullingmeuptothesurface.Itookhishand.
Thiswashappening.
Wyattclearedhisthroat.Hisnormallyshaggyblondhairwastiedintoamessybun.Astrangegigglebubbledoutofmythroat,andEmmettgavemeafunnylook.
“Manbun,”Imouthed,andhegrinnedwider.
Wyattstartedspeaking.Whatwashesaying?Couldn’ttellyou.Iwasn’tevenlistening.Emmettsmileddownatme,runningathumbacrossthebackofmylefthandanddistractingme.
“You’rebeautiful,”hewhisperedwhileWyattgavehisspeech.
Myheartflip-floppedinmychest.Thewayhewaslookingatme,Ifeltbeautiful.Ifeltlike,tohim,Iwastheonlypersonontheplanetrightnow.
Hewinkedatmeandsqueezedmyhand,andIcouldn’thelpbutsmilewider.
“Emmett,wouldyouliketosayyourvows?”Wyattaskedandwesnappedtoattention.
“Right.”Emmettreachedintohissuitjacketandpulledoutapieceofpaper.“Avery.”Hepaused,lookedupatme,andbackathispaper.Mischiefflashedinhiseyes,andInarrowedmyeyes.
“Accordingtoourrecords,yourcopyofElizabethGilbert’sEatPrayLoveissixyearsoverdue.”
Theguestsbrokeoutinlaughter.Agrinpulledathisfeatures.
“Whoops.”Heshuffledhispapersandmock-wincedattheguests.“Wrongpaper.”
Iburstoutlaughing,andhegrinnedatmewhilethelaughterdieddown.Hetookabreath,andhisAdam’sapplebobbedasheglancedathispapers.Aflickerofnervesflashedacrosshisfacebeforehecovereditbackupwithhisusualsmugconfidence.
“Avery,IknewIlikedyouthesecondIsawyou.”Hisvoicerangoutclearandloudintheroom.“YouwerebrandnewintownandservingatTheArbutus,andIsawabeautifulgirlandwantedtositinhersection,buttherewerenoavailabletables.”Heglancedupatme,andItiltedmyhead,curious.Hehadnevertoldmethis.“SoIwentback,butagain,therewerenoavailabletables.Iwentbackagain.Thattime,Iwasfinallyinyoursection,butyouwereabouttogoonbreak.”Afewlaughsamongtheguests.“Seventimes,IateatthatrestaurantinaweekuntilIfinallygottotalktoyou.”Hismouthhitchedwiththememory.“Andyouwouldn’tgivemethetimeofday.”
Heglancedupatmeandbackdownathispaper,andIwatchedwithawe.Ihadtogiveittohim,thatsoundedsogenuine.
“Butafteracoupleyears,Iworeyoudown.”Heswallowedandblinkedathispaper.“AveryAdams,youarethemosthard-working,funny,intelligent,independent,determinedpersonIknow.You’refiercelyprotectiveofeveryoneinyourlife.Youtakecareofyourpeople,yourstaff,yourfriends,andofme.”Whenhemetmygaze,hiswasfullofsincerityandvulnerability.“Iwasn’treadyforthat,andIwasn’treadyforhowhardI’dfallforyou.”
Mystomachdidadeliciousrollforward.Igavehimasmallsmileandreachedoutforthehandnotholdingthepaper.Hesqueezedmyfingers.
“IneverexpectedtofindsomeoneItrustandrespectsomuch,someoneIwanttotalktoandseeeveryday.”Heglancedupatmeagain,andmyheartexpandedatthevulnerable,openexpressiononhisface.“SomeoneIwanttowakeupwitheveryday.Youarewhatmylifewasmissing,andIdidn’tevenrealizeituntilIfoundyou,butIhavenoplanstoletyougo.Iloveyou,AveryAdams.Iloveyou,andI’mneverlettingyougo.That’sthedeal.”
Heleaneddownandplacedasoftkissonmycheek.Myheartbeatinmyears.Thatsoundedsoreal,andIwantedittobe,morethananything.Hishandsbrushedmine,andmyheadswirledwithfeelings,bothlight,happy,deliriousfeelingsanduncertain,surprised,confusedfeelings.
Wyattlookedatmeandnodded.“Goforit.”
IturnedtoHannah,whostoodandpassedmemyvows.Iunfoldedthem,awarethateveryonewaswaiting.Mypulseraced.
Emmettsmileddownatmesoftly,andwhenIsmiledback,thetensionwithinmeimmediatelyeased.Right.Thiswasgoingtobefine.Ireachedoutandslippedmyhandintohis.Hiswarmfingersbrushedagainstthebackofmyhand,andItookasteadyingbreath.
“Ididn’tlikeyouwhenIfirstmetyou.”
Emmettletoutabarkoflaughter.Somechucklesroseupfromtheguestsaswell.
Ishookmyheadathim,grinning.“Ireallydidn’tlikeyou.Ithoughtyouweretheschmooziest,fakest,mostinsincerepersonI’devermet.Howcouldsomeonebefriendswitheveryone?”
Hegavemeanamused,lopsidedsmile.Iclearedmythroat.“Then,Igottoknowyou,andeverythingchanged.”
Thepapershookinfrontofme.IsuckedinadeepbreathandclosedmyeyesforabriefmomentwhileEmmett’swarmhandsqueezedmine.Itwashardtosaythesethings,evenifthiswholethingwasn’treal.
Iwasjustgoingtotellthetruth.
“TheEmmettInowknowisthemostselflessperson.”Iglancedupintohisgreyeyes,sofullofaffectionandwarmth.Okay,thiswasn’tsobad.“You’ddoanythingforafriend,andyou’refriendswitheveryone.”
Emmettlaughed,andmyheartburstwithpride.Iloveditwhenhedidthat.
IscannedthefrontrowofguestsandlockedeyeswithElizabeth.Wesmiledateachother.“That’syou,Emmett.Ilikespendingtimewithyoumorethananyone.Iusedtolikebeingalone.Ivaluedmysolitude,butIlikebeingaroundyoumore.Ilovehowwarmandcaringyouare,howyoutakecareofme,howyoumakemelaugh,andhowimpulsiveyouare.”Imethisgaze,andhewaslookingatmelikeIwasthewomanhewasabouttomarryforreal.Mychestpanged.“Itwasn’teasyformetotrustyou,butItookaleapandI’msohappyIdid.”Iswallowedthickly,hesitating.
Ipromisedmyselftotellthetruth.
“Iwanttospendtherestofmylifewithyou.Iwanttotakeasgoodcareofyouasyoudoofeveryoneelse.Iloveyou.”
Emmett’shandcametomychin,andhecoveredmymouthwithhis.ThesoftbrushofhislipsoverminewassuchareliefIsighedagainsthismouth.Iinhaledhim,hisintoxicating,masculinescent.HisarmcamearoundmywaisttopullmeclosertohimandIdidn’tevencarethathewasnearlycrushingmeagainsthim,Iwaskissinghimbackhardandmyheadswirled.Myheartraced,notwithnervesthistime,butwithexhilaration.Itoldthetruth,andIsaidIlovedEmmett.
Iwasdeliriouslyhappy.
Hepulledmyhairlightly,tiltingmyheadbacktodeepenthekissandhistongueswipedmine.Asoftmoanescapedmythroat.Thiswasincredible,thiskiss.Myheadspun.Icouldhavedonethisforever.Thisweddingthingwasn’tsoscaryafterall.Itwasactuallyincredible.
Weweretwopeopleinacrowdofoverahundred,butitfeltlikewehadtheroomtoourselves.
“Kissthebride,”Wyattsaidinadrytonebesideus.
Theguestslaughedandwebrokeapart.Right,therestofthewedding.
Wyattbeamedatus.“Inowpronounceyouhusbandandwife.”
Everyonecheered,andEmmettdroppedanotherkissontomylips.Ismiledintohismouth.MypulsestillracedbutIcouldn’tstopsmiling.Mycheekshurt,Igrinnedsobig.
Wyattdirectedusovertoatableonthesideoftheroomwherethemarriagecertificatesat.HetoldmewheretosignandIdidwithoutevenreadingthething.Emmett’shandrestedonmylowerbackthewholetime,sendingshiversupanddownmyspine.Ihandedthepentohimandhesignedhisnamequicklybeforetakingmyhand.
HannahsignedasourwitnessandthenWyatt.
Wyattgesturedatthemarriagecertificate.“I’llfilethis.”
Emmettshookhishead.“Justleaveitinmycar.I’lldoittomorrow.”Heglancedatme,thespecialwe’vegotasecretlook,beforehepulledmyhandandleadmedowntheaislepastourapplaudingfriendsandfamily.Whenwepassedthroughthedoors,hetiltedhisheaddownthehall.
“Comeon.”Hiseyesgleamed.Hepulledmeandwestartedjoggingthroughcityhall.
“Wherearewegoing?”Iasked,laughingandtryingtokeepupwithhim.
Hedidn’tanswer,justleduspastthereceptionistwhowasstillonFaceTime,andthroughthefrontdoors.Hestoppedandscoopedmeup,andIletoutasurprisedsqueal.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Myfacehurtfromsmiling.Hethrewmeoverhisshoulder,andIgasped.“Emmett,you’regoingtoripmydress!”
“Good.”Hisvoicewasgravelly.“Thenwecangohomeandbealone.”
Hecarriedusaroundthesideofcityhallandthroughthegardensbeforesettingmedown,rightsideup.Wewereintherosegardenbesidecityhall,surroundedbyhundredsofvarietiesofrosesinfullsummerbloom,andbestofall,wewereallalone.
Hesteppedintomypersonalspaceandlookeddownatme.“Iwantyoutomyselfforafewmomentsbeforethereception.”Hishandcametomyhair.“Noonewillbotherushere.”
Ifeltbreathlessathisproximity.“Thatwasverythoughtfulofyou.”Inarrowedmyeyesathim.“Andyouhadnoulteriormotives?”
Thecornersofhismouthlifted.“Sure,Idid.Iwantedtodomoreofthis.”HislipsdroppedtomineandIsighedagain.
Idon’tknowhowlongwestoodthere,makingoutintherosegarden.TimeseemedtostandstillandIwasn’tworriedaboutanythingelse.Emmett’sfingersbrushedthebackofmyneckandmyhandsnakedaroundhiswaistinsidehissuitjacket.Hiskissoscillatedbetweensoftandsweet,anddemandingandbossy.Everyslipofhistongueagainstminesentazingofelectricitythroughmylimbsandmademeshiveragainsthim.Henippedmylipwithhisteethandalittlegaspescapedmythroat.
Hepulledawayfrommymouth,leaninghisforeheadagainstmine.Wewerebothbreathinghard.
Heblewafrustratedbreathout.“Iamsofuckinghardrightnow.”
Ilaughedalittle.“Maybetheywon’tmissus.”
“Thereyoutwoare,”Divcalledattheentranceofthegarden.
AgroanoffrustrationcameoutofEmmett’schest,andIsighed.
“We’llbethereinasecond.”Emmettranhishandsupmyshouldersandpressedakisstomyforehead.“What’sthegrossestthingyoucanthinkof?”
Ilaughedinsurprise.“What?”
“Ineedtogetridofthishard-on.Quick.Tellmeaboutyourgrandmotherorsomething.”
Ilaughedagain.“ThinkaboutElizabeth.”
Hisexpressionturnedtorevolt.“Mymother?”
Ilaughedharder.“Theturtleyoualmostmadeoutwith.”
HegaggedandIwheezedwithlaughter.“Ohgod.”Heshuddered.“Yeah,thatworked.”Heheldahandout.“Let’sgo.”
EmmettandImetDivandthephotographerhehadhiredattheedgeofthegarden,wherewelethertakeafewpicturesofusbeforesheledusdowntothebeach.Wekickedourshoesoffwherethesandstarted.
“Youguysgoahead,”shetoldus.“I’llhangback.”
Emmetttookmyhandandledmealongthetreesattheedgeofthesand.Iinhaledthecoolbreezecominginofftheoceanandletthesunwarmmyskin.Thelate-Springtemperaturewasjustalittlebittoocold,butIdidn’tmindsinceEmmettwashappytotuckmeintohissidetostaywarm.Birdsfloatedinthewater,bobbingasthewavesrolledin
Igavehimasidelonglook.“Ithoughtthiswouldbealotharder.”
“Gettingmarried?”
Inodded.
“Metoo.”Hesqueezedmyhandandmyheartflippedinmychest.
Wewandereddownthebeachforabitbeforeturningaroundandheadingbacktowardswherewestarted.Icouldheartheclickingofthephotographer’scamerabutpaidnoattentiontoit.
“Getanygoodshots?”Iaskedherwhenwewerereadytoheadtotherestaurant.
Sheglancedupfromhercamerawithawistfulsmile.“Oneortwo.”25Emmett
MymomheldherglassofchampagnehighintheaironTheArbutuspatio“ToAveryandEmmett!”
“ToAveryandEmmett,”theguestsontherestaurantpatiochorused,andAveryandmygazesmetasweclinkedglasses.
MyhandwasgluedtoAvery’slowback,anditslidacoupleinchesloweronthesoftfabric.Hereyesopenedafractionwideroverherchampagneglass.
“Stopthat.”Thecornerofhermouthpulledup.
Ilookeddownather.“Iwon’t.”
Fuckinghell,Iwashardagain.Ihadbeenhardallgoddamnday.
Avery’shairmovedinthebreeze,andshegavemeasoftsmile.Hereyeslookedsobrilliantlyblueinthelightandmychestfelttight.
IhadtogiveDivcredit,heandMaxhadtransformedtherestaurant.Itwasdecoratedintinytwinklelights,insideandout.Weweresittingoutonthepatio,overlookingtheoceanwhileweatedinner.
“Yourmomandmymomarefastfriends,”ImentionedtoAverywhiledinnerwasbeingserved.Ourmomssattogether,talkingandlaughing.
Shenoddedandgavemealopsidedsmile.“I’venoticed.KindofmakesmewonderwhatIwassoworriedabout.”Hergazeslidtome.“Thanksfortellingmenottoinvitemydad.”Shewincedandbitherlip.“Istillfeelguilty,butatleastI’mnotworryingabouthimdoingsomethingandruiningthenight.”
“Don’tmentionit.Itreallyisn’tabigdeal.”
Therewasthatlopsidedsmileagain.“Itreallyis.”
Ileanedoverandgaveherachastekissonthecheek,somethingtoremindherthatIwashereandonherside.Irememberedthewayshelookedatmeduringtheceremony,sosweet,open,andtrusting,andmychestached.Imeanteverywordduringmyvows,andshehadnoidea.Shethoughtitwasallfake.Icouldn’ttellheryet,though.Shehadtoomuchonhermind.Tuesday,she’dsignthepaperstobuytherestaurant.Oncethingshadcalmeddown,inaweekortwo,I’dtellherhowIfelt.
I’dtellherthatIlovedherandwantedtodothisforreal.
Iblewabreathout.Holyshit.Myheartracedwithexcitementandnerves,justthinkingaboutsayingthosewordstoher.
Ishookthethoughtsoutofmyhead.Soon.
“BigdayTuesday.”
Shelaughed.“Bigdaytoday.”
“Howareyoufeeling?”
Sheglancedoveracrossthepatio,acoupletablesawayatKeiko,whowastalkingwithMiri,Scott,Will,andNat.“I’vewaitedsolongtobuythisplaceandnowit’sfinallyhere.”
Iplacedmyhandoverhersandsqueezed.“I’mproudofyou.”
Sheturnedbacktomewiththemostbeautifulsmile,andmyhearttwistedagain.
EvenifIwasn’trunningformayor,I’dcosignonherloan.Anythingtomakethiswomanhappy,I’ddoit.
AveryandIatedinnerwhilewatchinghalfthetowntalk,laugh,eat,anddrink.Peoplecameuptocongratulateusandchat,wrappingusupinhugsandtellingushowhappytheywereforus.Thewholepartyfeltlikeonebigfamilyreunion.Afterdinnerwasoverandtheplateswerecleared,peoplebeganmovingaroundfromtabletotable,talkingtotheirfriendsandtakingpictures.Everyonewasdressedupandlookingtheirbest.Musicplayedandpeopledancedonthecornerofthepatio.
Avery’shandsqueezedmyarm.“Youokay,darling?”
Iflashedagrinather.“Neverbetter,peachypie.”
Shemadeagaggingmotion.“Peachypie?”
“Becauseyou’resosweet.”Istifledmylaughteratherlookofrevulsion.
“I’mnotsweet.”Therewasaflickerofheatinhereyes.
Iraisedaneyebrow.“Yousureashellaren’t.”Iwinked,andaflareroseinmeatthewayhermouthparted.“Thisissofun,”Itoldher,gesturingatourguests.“Everyoneshouldhaveafakewedding.”
Hereyeswidened.“Shhh.Someonemighthear.”
Isnorted.“Areyoukidding?Noonewouldbelieveus.Watch.”IleanedoverandtiltedherchintomebeforeIbrushedmylipsacrosshers.Hereyesflutteredclosed.
“Aww,that’ssosweet!”Miritrilled,passingbywithtwoglassesofchampagneinherhands.
Averylaughedagainstmyneck.“You’reright.We’vegotthem.”
IglancedatthepeopledancingtothemusicandgrabbedAvery’shand.“Comeon,let’sdance.”
“Now?”
Ihauledheruponherfeet.“Yes,now.Comeon,Adams,it’sourwedding,let’shaveasmuchfunasourguestsarehaving.”
Weweregreetedonthedancefloorwithcheersandwhoops.Fromthenon,IkeptonehandonAveryatalltimes—holdingherhandandspinningherinacircle,restingmyhandonherlowerback,wrappingmyarmaroundhershoulders,andwhenthemusicsloweddown,pullingheragainstmeandlettingmyfingerstangleintoherhair.
Divappearedatmyside.“DoyouwanttotalktotheHendersons?They’rehere.”
BillandPatriciaHendersonhadbeendodgingmycampaigncallsforweeks.PatriciaHendersonwastheheadofthelocalofficeoftheelectricutilityandwouldbeacriticalpartofmakingmycampaignplatformareality.IglancedpastDiv,wheretheyweregatheredwithsomeotherpeoplefromtown,drinksinhand.Atthatmoment,Averyliftedmyarmupandspununderneathit,wigglingherasstothemusicandlookingfuckinghilariousandadorableatthesametime.
IshookmyheadatDiv.“I’llfindthemlater.”
DivgavemeanareyouinsanelookbutIignoreditandspunAveryagain,thistimespinninghersothatshelandedflushagainstmychest,laughing.Icaughtawhiffofhershampooandmycockhardened.
Thiswasfun,butIwascountingdownthesecondsuntilwecouldbealone.Sexontheweddingnightwaskindofajoke,Ihadthought.I’dalwaysheardthecouplewastootiredtohavesex.Icouldseehowthathappened,butIcouldn’timaginebeingtootiredtotouchAvery.
WillandNatdancedpastus,andAverylaughedattheirgoofymoves.Ipulledhertomeanddroppedanotherkissonhermouth.Sheleanedintome,andherhandscametomychest,sighingagainstmymouth.
TherewasnowayI’dbetootiredtonight.
Themusicloweredandeveryoneonthedancefloorlookedovertowhereafour-tiercakewasrolledout.Peoplebegangesturingatustostepforward.WhenAverygrabbedmyhandandledmetoit,alittlezingofexcitementranfrommyhandintomychest.AserverhandedAveryaknife,andshelookedtome.Thesunwassettingacrossthewater,castingpinksandorangesacrossthesky,andthetwinklelightshoveredaboveus,givingherskinawarmglow.Hercheekswereflushedfromdancing.
“Ithinkwe’resupposedtodothistogether,”shesaid,holdingouttheknife.
Iplacedmyhandoverhersandwrappedmyarmaroundher.Thephotographer’scameraclickedofftotheside.
“Ican’twaittosmashthiscakeintoyourface,”Imurmuredinherearasweslicedintothecake.
Ifeltherlaughunderme.Anightofdancinghadcompletelyloosenedherup.Shewaslaughingeasier,louder,andbrightertonight.Itwaslikewhateveranxietyhadweighedonherhadlifted.
“Youabsolutelyfuckingwon’t.”Hervoicewaslow,butshegrinned.“OrIwillsmashapiecerightintothefrontofyourpants.”
“Iknowyoujustwantanotherexcusetotouchmethere,”Iwhispered,andshegaspedinannoyancebutwasstillgrinning.
Icutasliceandsliditontoaplatebeforepickingupasmallpiece.Isentheradaringlook.
Hershouldersshookwithcontainedlaughter.“Don’tyoufuckingdare,Emmett.”
Iwatchedhersteadilywithasmall,smuggrinonmyface.Thismustbewhattigersfeltlike,stalkingtheirprey,waitingfortheperfectmoment.
“Doyoutrustme?”
“Absolutelynot.”Hersmiletookupherentireface.
“Doit!”someoneyelled.
Iraisedmyeyebrows,holdinghergaze.“Comeon,Adams.Sayit.”
Shepressedherlipstogetherandrolledhereyes,grinning.“Alright.Itrustyou.”
Gently,Iplacedasmallpieceofcakeintohermouth.Shewatchedmetheentiretimewithaheatedgaze.HertonguedartedouttoasmudgeoficingonherlipandIinhaledsharplyasallmybloodrushedtomycock.
Iwasn’tthetiger,shewas.Iwastheprey.
Mytheorywasconfirmedwhenshetookasmallpieceofcakeandsmusheditintomymouth,smearingtheicingallovermystubble.
“Comehere.”Igrabbedher,andsheshriekedwithlaughterwhenIpulledhertowardmeandplantedakissonhermouth.OurguestslaughedasIkissedtheicingalloverAvery’smouth.“I’mgoingtomakeyoupayforthatlater,”Imurmured,makingherbreathhitch.
Fuckinghell,Iwantedtoleaverightnow.Therewasheatbehindhereyeswhenshelookedatme,andmyballstightened.Itwaslikeduringtheweddingceremony,whenitfeltlikeweweretheonlypeopleintheworld,eventhoughahundredofourfriendsandfamilywerewatchingus.
Ihadtogetheralone.
Westeppedawayfromthecakesothattheserverscouldcutitupandpassitout.Themusicvolumeincreased,thedancefloorflaredtolifeagain,andwewerenolongerthefocusofeveryone’sattention.IgrabbedAvery’shandandpulledheracrossthepatio,towardstherestaurant.
“Wherearewegoing?”sheasked.
Scottwavedtogetmyattention.“Hey,Emmett—”
“Sorry,Scott,I’llcatchupwithyoulater,”Itoldhimaswebreezedpast.IpulledAveryintotherestaurant.MyhandgrippedhersmalloneasIhauledherintothequiethallwaywhereherofficewasandthrewherofficedooropen.
“Oh,yeah,IwasjustthinkingIneededtoreviewtheinventorylevels.”Shehidagrin.“Thanksforthereminder.”
Iclosedthedoorafterher.“Youneedafewminutesofalonetime.”
Sheraisedaneyebrow.“Sowhyareyouhere?”
“Adifferentkindofalonetime.”Ipulledhertowardsme,onehandinherhairandonearoundherwaist,andkissedher.
AsoftwhimperescapedherandIgroanedagainsther,tiltingherheadbacktodeepenthekiss.Thatlittlewhimperofhershadalreadymademehard.IwalkedusbackwardsuntilIsatontheedgeofherdeskandshestoodbetweenmylegs.Herhandswereonmythighsandmycockthrobbed.Fuckinghell,Iwantedthiswoman.Iwantedhersobadly.Iwantedtoyankthisdressupandtongue-fuckheruntilshescreamedmyname.
“Holyshit,Adams,”Igroaned.“Iwantyousobadly.”Myhandskimmedupherwaistovertheroughsequinsandbeadsandcametoherbreast,whereIfoundhernipplethroughthethinfabric.Itimmediatelypeakedundermytouchandherbreathbecameragged.Shebrokeourkissandhermouthworkeddownmyjawandneck.Myheadfellback.
Herfingersworkedatmytie,looseningitandundoingthetopbuttonsofmycollarashermouthdidincrediblethings.Herteethscrapedmyskinandmycockpulsed.
“Shit,”Irasped.Iwassohardithurt.Mylengthrubbedagainsttheapexbetweenherlegs,andwhensherockedagainstme,alittlegaspslippedoutofher.Ipressedmymouthinatightline,tryingtocontrolmyself.Icouldfeelmyselfattheedgeofcontrol.ShewastoosoftandsexyandpushingalltherightbuttonsandIcouldn’thandleitmuchlonger.
“Areyougoingtotakemyvirginitytonight?”Averyteasedinbetweenkissesonmythroatbeforesuckingontheskinwheremyshoulderandneckmet.Hervoicewasraspyaswell,lowandhuskyandfullofneed.Itsentathrillthroughme.Ineededtomakehercome.
Ipinchedhernippleandshegasped.
“Iwantyousobadly,”Itoldherandpulledhermouthbacktomine,slidingmytongueoverhersandtastingher.Shemoaned,andtensioncoiledinsideme.Fuck.Icouldn’ttakethismuchlonger.“I’veneverbeenthisturnedon.”HermouthgrinnedagainstmineandIlaughed.“Whatareyoudoingtome,Adams?Icanbarelythink.”
Withawickedsmile,herhandslidupmythightomycockandshestrokedmethroughmypants.Needrocketedthroughme,andInearlypassedout.“Slowdown,baby,yougottaslowdown.”
“I’mbarelytouchingyou,”shemurmured,stillstrokingmelightly.Shelookedatmewithdaringeyes.Sheknewthepowershehadoverme,andshelikedit.Itexcitedher,andtomysurprise,itexcitedmetoo.
Iinhaledandexhaledslowly,tryingtomaintaincontrol.“I’mgoingtomakeyoucomesohardyoucan’trememberwhatitwaslikebeforeweweretogether,”Itoldherasherhandmovedalongmycock.
Sheshudderedandleaneduptokissme,butthedoortoherofficeflewopen.HerhandabruptlyleftmycockandweturnedtoseeWyattatthedoor.
“Don’tyouknock?”Idemanded.
Heraisedhiseyebrows.“Busted.”
“Doyouneedsomething?”IpulledAveryinfrontofme,partlybecauseIenjoyedthefeelingofherpressedagainstmebutalsotohidemymassiveerection
Wyattsnorted.“Peoplewerelookingforyou.”Heleanedoutthedoor.“They’reinhere,”hecalled.
“Oh,mygod.”Averyleanedagainstme,andIlaughedintoherhair.Iwasn’tembarrassedthatweweremakingout.Itactuallymademekindofproud.Iwasmoreannoyedthatwegotinterrupted.
“Thereyouare!”Miriappearedinthedoorway.Hannahwasbehindher,followedbyHoldenandFinn.“Whatareyouguysdoinginhere?”
“Taxes,”Averysaid.
Ishookmyheadatthemwithanexasperatedexpression.“Whatdoyouthinkweweredoing?”
Hannahwinced.
“Hopeweweren’tinterrupting,”Willyelledfromthehallway.
“Youwere,”Iyelledback.
WyatttossedmemykeysandIcaughtthem.“Yourbagsareallreadytogoandinthecar.”
AveryandIfrownedateachotherinconfusion.
ShelookedtoWyatt.“Ourbags?”
Hannahlookedpleased.“WebookedyouaroomattheEmeraldSeasInn.”
TheEmeraldSeasInnwasthenicesthotelinQueen’sCove.Itfacedtheocean,wasnewlyrenovated,andmoviestarsoftenretreatedtheretoenjoyquiet,cozygetaways.
Finnsnorted.“Ididn’twanttohearthebedbangingagainstthewallallnight.”
Igrinned.“Goodcall.”
“Youdidn’thavetodothat,”Averysaid.Shewasstillstandinginbetweenmylegswithherhandsonmychest,myarmsaroundherkeepingherclosetome
Wyattshrugged.“Whatever.It’snothing.You’repartofthefamilynow.”
AveryseemedtomeltwithhappinesswhenhesaidthatandIshotWyattagratefullook.
“Don’tleaveyet,though,”Miriurged.“Comewithustothebeach.”
IlookeddownatAverywithaquestioninmyeyes.
Shesmiled.“Let’sdoit.”
MyballsachedagainwiththeneedtomakeAveryorgasm,butIkeptmymouthshutwhenIsawhereyeslightupatMiri’ssuggestion.“Let’sgo.”
Thegroupofuslefttherestaurant,wherepeoplewerestilldancingandlaughing,andwalkeddowntothebeach.Ourshoeswereleftinapileattheedgeofthesidewalk,wherethesandbegan.Themoonwashighintheskyandcastaglowovereverything,andthelightsfromtherestaurantilluminatedourway.Averypulledtheskirtofherdressupsothatitwouldn’tgetdirtyandwalkedtotheedgeoftheshore.Iwalkedalongsideherwiththecuffsofmypantsrolledupsotheywouldn’tgetwet.
“Thiswassoeasy,”shetoldme.Hervoicewaslowenoughthattheotherscouldn’thearus.FinnwassplashingHannahandMiriwithwater,andtheywerelaughingandrunningaway.HoldensatonalogwhileWillandNatheldhandsbesidehim.Wyattwasstrippingdowntohisboxers.HedumpedhisclothesbesideHoldenandranintothewaterbeforedivingunder.
IputmyarmaroundAvery’sshoulder.“Itsurewas.TheeasiestweddingI’veeverhad.I’magenius.”
Shegrinned.“Themostmodest,humblegeniusIknow.”
Wewalkedupanddownthebeachasthewaveslappedagainstourfeet.ThelaughterfromFinn,Hannah,andMirifollowedusandthesoftrumbleofthewavesroseuparoundus.Tonightwasoneofthebestnightsofmylife.Icouldn’twaittotellherhowIfelt,butitwasn’ttimeyet.
Ipicturedtellingherthatmyvowswerethetruth,thatIlovedherandwantedtobewithher,andthatIdidn’twantittobefakeanymore.Everythingshehadshownmeinthepastfewweekstoldmeshewouldbereceptive.Butwhatifshewasn’t?Whatifshefreakedout?
Whatifitwasstillfaketoher?
Ipictureduspartingwaysandgoingbacktoourregularlives.Icouldn’tevenrememberwhatmyregularlifewaslike,onlyweeksago.WhatdidIevendo?WhatdidIthinkabout,beingmayor?Mybusiness?ThosethingsseemedsodullincomparisontothinkingaboutAvery.Onemoreweekwithherdidn’tseemlikeenough.Tenweeksdidn’tseemlikeenough.Iwantedforever.
“Areyoustillgoodwithourdeal?”Iaskedher,glancingdownandmeetinghergazeasshelookedupatme.
Shehesitated,eyesnarrowingslightly,andshebitherlipbeforenodding.
Well.Thereitwas.Disappointmentflickeredthroughoutme,punctuatedwithsomethingelse.Pain,maybe,butIbrusheditawaytooquicklytoidentifyit.Mopingwouldn’tdoanygood.IwasEmmettRhodes,Ididn’tmopeaboutthingsIcouldn’tcontrol.
Iblinkedtomyself.IwasEmmettgoddamnRhodes.Forone,Iwasafuckinggeniusforcookingupthisplanandsomehowhavingthebestdamndayofmylifewithanincrediblygorgeous,funny,smartwoman.Ididthat.So,who’stosayIcouldn’tconvincethesaidincrediblygorgeous,funny,smartwomanthatmaybewecoulddothisthingalittlelonger?Whydidithavetoendafteraweek?Wemadethatdealwhenwedidn’tevenknoweachother.Shecouldn’tstandmeamonthago.Thiswasdifferent.Sheactuallylikedmenow.Shereallylikedme,ifthewaysherespondedwhenItouchedherorkissedherwasanyindication.
Mymouthhitched,andIfeltasurgeofcompetition.Withwho?Noidea.Withmyself,Iguess,orwithAvery’shesitationforustobemore.
IwasgoingtomakeAveryfallformeashardasIwasfallingforher.
Thepoorwomanwouldn’tknowwhathither.
Iflashedhermymostcharmingsmile,atwhichshenarrowedhereyes.
“Whatareyouupto?”
“Nothing.Youlookgorgeous,hasanyoneevertoldyouthat?”
Sheraisedaneyebrow.“What’sgoingonwithyou?You’rescheming.”
“Me?Scheming?You’recrazy,Adams.”Isighedandpulledherclosetome.Therestofourgroupnowsatonthelog,chatting,exceptforWyatt,whowasstillswimmingintheoceanwhileHoldenwatchedon.Ifitwasanyoneelse,I’dbemorewatchfulandconcerned,butWyattwasastrongswimmer,andtherewasnokeepinghimoutofthewater.Wehadtriedandfailedmanytimes.
“Comeon,let’sgo,”Isaidtoher,lookingdownather.
Shemetmygaze,andsomethingpassedbetweenus.Sheshiveredundermyarm.
“Areyoucold?”
Sheshookherhead.“Let’sgo.”
WewerecheckingintothehotelwhenIrealizedIforgottograbthemarriagecertificateoutofthecar.Assoonaswehadourroomkey,IturnedtoAvery.“Iforgotsomethinginthecar,justgivemeonesecond.”
Shenodded.“I’mgoingtogouptotheroom.”
“Sure.”Igaveheraquickkissandheadedoutside.
IsearchedthatcarlikeIwasadetectivelookingforcluesinamurderinvestigation.Ilookedintheglovebox,underalltheseats,thetruck,behindthevisors,everywhere.
Themarriagecertificatewasn’tinthere.IblewabreathoutandpulledoutmyphonetotextWyatt.Heprobablyforgottoputitinthecar.Maybeitwasinoneofmybagsupstairs.Itypedoutthequestiontohimandsentit.
WhenIopenedthedoorofourhotelroom,Averystoodinthedimlighting,wearingonlyawhitelacebraandthong.Thedelicatelacefithersoftcurvesperfectlyandhergentlecleavagewasvisibleinthelowlight.Myhandsclenchedatmysides,eagertotouchhersmoothskin,tofeelherandpullhertome.Myheartbegantobeatharderasshebitherlip.Shegavemeaquickwink.
“That’smymove.”Myvoicewasstrangled.Iwasalreadyattheedgeofcontrol,andallmywomanhaddonewasstripdowntoherunderwear.Iwasindeeptrouble.
Shegavemeawickedsmile.“Getoverhere.”
IdidasIwastold.26Avery
ThelookinEmmett’seyesashesawmestandingthereinmylingerie,itcouldhaveburnedmeupfromtheinside,itwassoheated.AnticipationanddesirecloudedmymindandallIthoughtaboutwashowtogetEmmett’smouthonme.
Ididn’thavetotrythathard.
WithinmomentsIwasonmybackonthebed,nakedandgaspingashedevouredme.Histongueslickedacrossmyfolds,dancingovermyclit.Igaspedandarched.
“Needthis,”hegroanedagainstmywetness.
“Emmett,”Imoaned.Myeyeswereclenchedclosed,andIscrambledtofindhishair.Myfingerscombedthroughhissoftlocksandgentlypulled,andIfelthisgroanallthewaytomycenter.
“Saymynamesoyouknowyou’remine.”
“Emmett.”Myvoicewasagasp.
PressurewoundtightandhardinsideofmeandwhenheslippedafingerintomycoreandworkedmyG-spot,Iunraveledunderneathhim,callinghisnameandparalyzedwithoverwhelmingpleasure.
WhenIfloatedbackdowntoearthlikeafeather,Igavehimashysmileandbitmylip.
Lustcloudedhisgaze.“I’mgoingtodothateveryday.”
Inodded.Mychestburstwithjoyattheidea,notjustbecauseoftheorgasmsbutbecausetheideaofseeinghimeverydaywasheaven.“Deal.”
Heclimbedontothebedandlaydownbesideme,proppinghimselfuponhiselbowbutIcrawledoverhim,straddlinghim.TheorgasmhehadprovidedmetooktheedgeoffbutIstillfeltemptyandhungry,andIneededmore.Hishardnesspressedagainstmycore,andIdraggedmyselfupanddownhislength,pullingashudderfromhischest.Hisgazedarkenedashewatchedmeoverhim.
Whenhishandscametomybreastsandhetouchedtheachingtips,myheadfellbackandsomethingprimalwithinmerattledhercage.More.Ineededmore.
Ipositionedhimatmyentrance,andhewatchedmewithagazesodarkitnearlyshatteredmysoul.Iloweredmyselfontohimandwemoaned.Hepulledmeforward,flushagainsthischest,andImovedmyhipsslowly,feelingallofhislengthdeepinsideme.Iwhimperedagainsthim,feelingmybodystretcharoundhiminadeliciousache.Mycorethrummedwithpleasure,andIslidupanddownonhimlanguidly,watchingashisbrowfurrowedwithdeliciousconcentration.
“Stopholdingback.”Ishudderedaroundhim,andhegroaned,fingersdiggingintomyhipsasIbouncedupanddownonhim.“Giveup.”
“Givemeanotheronefirst.Icanfeelyouclenchingme.”Hisvoicewasroughanditsentshiversdownmylimbs.“You’resoclose,Icanfeelit.Iknowyoucandoitagain,baby.”
HisfingerspinchedmynipplesandIgasped.Thatfamiliarpressurebuiltandthebackofmylegstingled.Icouldfeelmyorgasmapproaching.HotwetnessfloodedmycoreandEmmettgroanedagainandpulsedinsideofme.
Amomentlater,itrippedthroughme,wrenchingmysoulfrommybodyandwringingmeout.Waveafterwavecrashedinsideme,andstarsexplodedbehindmyeyes.God,Ilovedthisman.Icouldn’tholditinanymoreandIdidn’twantto.WhatifoneofusdiedthenextdayandheneverknewhowIfelt?
Braverysurgedwithinmeandmyheadfellagainsthischest.“Iloveyou.Iloveyousofuckingmuch,Emmett.”Myvoicewashighandbreathy,andIgaspedagainsthischestasthelastthrowsoforgasmswrackedmybodyandmymusclesjerked.
IthoughtI’dfeelmorepanickedwhenthetruthwassetfree,butitdidn’thappen.Ionlyfeltrelief.
Emmett’sgazeoverflowedwithheat.Hewatchedmewithatensereverencebeforehisarmscamearoundmeandheflippedmeontomyback.“Really?”
Inodded.“Yes.”
HemadeanoiselikeIwaskillinghim.“Iloveyou,too.”Hehoveredabovemetostudymyexpression.“You’reeverythingtome.Iwantedtotellyou,butIdidn’twantyoutofreakout.”
Helovedmetoo?IwasworriedImeantnothingtohim.Ilaughedinreliefanddisbeliefatmyincredibleluck.“Notfreakingout.”Ishookmyheadandbeamedathim.“Notfreakingoutonebit.”
HeleaneddowntocovermymouthwithhisbeforehepushedhishipsfurtherintomeandIgroanedagainsthislips.
“Iwanttobemarriedforreal,Avery.”Hisgazewashungry,dark,andglazed.
Inoddedagainsthismouthandwhimperedashethrustintomeagain.“We’redoingthis.It’sreal.”
Hishandsgraspedmyhips,andhetiltedmesothathisarousalhitexactlytherightpointandwithnowarning,Icameagain,tippingbackoverthatcliffofpleasure.Hewasrighttherewithme,groaningmynameintomyhairandurgentlyshudderinghisreleaseintomysoul.
Theroomwassilentsaveforourbreathingandmyheartthumpinginmyears.
Allthatworryaboutthisallbeingfake,fornothing.Hisvowssoundedsincerebecausehewassincere.EmmettwantedmethewayIwantedhim.Icouldkickmyself,forkeepingitasecret.WhatifIhadneverblurtedoutthatIlovedhim?
Atonepoint,Igotuptousethewashroom,andwhenIreturnedtobed,Emmettwaslookingathisphonewithafunnyexpressiononhisface.
“Whatisit?”
Heshookhisheadandputthephonedown.“Nothing.Comebacktobed.”
Isettledinwithmyheadagainsthischest,listeningtohisheartbeat.
“Iloveyou.”Hekissedmytemple.“Imeanit.”
Inoddedandturnedmyheadtocatchhismouth.“Iloveyou,andImeanittoo.”27Avery
Mondaymorning,IsatinthekitchenreadingtheQueen’sCoveDailyarticleaboutourweddingwhileEmmettmadeusbreakfast.“There’sanicepictureofmymomwithyourparents.”
Heturned.“She’scomingbackforChristmas.”
“Who?”Myeyebrowswentup.
“Yourmom.Mymominvitedhertostaywiththem.”
Ilookedoutthewindow,watchingasahummingbirdhoveredbeforeitzippedoff.Christmaswasmorethansixmonthsaway.MygazestrayedtoEmmett,wherehestoodwithhisbacktomeinhisrunningshortsandt-shirt,andmymouthliftedintoasoftsmile.
Thismarriagewasreal.Itwasn’tjustmewhohadgainedfamily.Mymomhad,too.
Emmett’sphonestartedbuzzingonthecounter.Hetappedabuttontoansweritonspeaker.
“Morning,Div.You’reonspeakerinmykitchenwithAvery.”
“Hi,Div,”Icalled.
“Youbothneedtogettothetowncouncilmeetingnow.”Hisvoicewasasharpwhisper.Icouldhearsomeonetalkinginthebackground,areceptionistmaybe.
Isatupstraight.“What?When?”
Emmettfroze,frowningatthephone,waiting.
“Chuckhasputforthamotiontostopthesaleoftherestauranttoyou,Avery.”Div’swordstumbledout.“He’sspeakinginafewminutes.”
Mystomachdroppedthroughthefloor,allthewaytothecoreoftheearth.
Hannah.Thebookstore.Theotherday,withCynthia.Istillwasn’tsureifshehadoverheardusbutsomethingheavyanduglysettledinmygut.Ihadareally,reallybadfeelingaboutthis.IthoughtIwasfinishedwithChuckwhenKeikosaidshewouldn’tselltohim.
Iguessnot.
“MaxandIarehereandwe’regoingtotryandstall,butyouneedtogethere.”
Ijumpedup.“I’llberightthere.”
Emmettturnedofftheburnerandthrewthespatulainthesink.“Fiveminutes.”Hehungupthephone.“I’lldrive.”Hepickedupmybag,grabbedhiskeys,andgesturedformetofollow.
Onthedrivetotownhall,mymindraced.Chuckwantedtherestaurant,andhewasgettingincreasinglypersistent.IfCynthiahadoverheardus,whatwashegoingtodo?TelleveryonethatEmmettandmyengagementwasallfake?IblewalongbreathoutandmykneebobbedupanddownasEmmettturnedthecornerontothemainstreet.Evenifhedidthat,hecouldn’tproveit.
MythroatfelttightwhenIswallowed.EveryonewouldknowChuckwastellingthetruththesecondtheylookedatmyface.TherewasnowayIcoulddenyittoaroomfullofpeople.
Fuck.
ChuckwaswarminguptotakemedownandIhadbeenwrappedupinEmmett,frolickingandhavingsexandlaughing.I’dbeengallivantingwhenIshouldhavebeenfocusedontherestaurantandthesale.
Iswallowedandlookedoutthewindow.Emmett’shandcametomykneeandsqueezed.
“It’sgoingtobeokay,”hetoldme,butIbitmylipwithworry.Ididn’tknowifitwouldbe,andhisvoicesaidthesamething.
IfChuckoutedus,itwouldruinEmmett’scampaign.Theelectionwasnextweek.Hecouldneverrecoverfromsomethinglikethisintime.Noonewouldtrusthimtobemayoroncetheyfoundoutweliedtothetown.ThethoughtofdisappointingEmmettandruininghiscampaignturnedmyinsidestogranite.Hehadtrustedme.
Wepulleduptotownhall,andIwasoutofthecarbeforeEmmetthadevencometoacompletestop.Isprintedintothebuilding,throughthehallsuntilIfoundthelargeroomusedfortowncouncilmeetings.
EveryoneturnedtolookasIsteppedinside.
Therewasaboutfiftypeopleseatedinfoldingchairs,mostlybusinessownersfromtown.Hannahwasnearthebackandshotmeaworriedlook.Herfacewasflushed.Isaacandseveralmembersoftowncouncilsatatthefrontoftheroom,facingeveryone.MaxturnedandlookedrelievedwhenhesawIhadarrived,butbesidehim,DivglaredatChuck,whostoodatthefrontoftheroom,pausedatmyinterruptionwithanannoyedexpression.
Iswallowed.Myheartbeatinmyears.TherewerenoavailableseatssoIleanedagainstthewallattheback.
ThedooropenedbesidemeandEmmettslippedinside,takingthespotbesidemeagainstthewall.Hishandfoundmineandsqueezed.Atinyfractionofmynervesuntangled.Emmettwashere.Ididn’tknowwhathecoulddo,butatleastEmmettwashere.Ihadsomeoneonmyteam.
“AsIwassaying,”Chuckshiftedfromonefoottotheother,eyeingEmmettandIwithasourlook,“Ifhe’selectedmayor,owningabusinessinQueen’sCovewouldbeaconflictofinterest.”
Emmett’shandtensedaroundmine.Hisvoicerangoutstrongintheroom.“IhavenoplanstoownTheArbutus.”
Chuck’sgazewascold.“Yourlittlewifewill,andwhat’shersisyours.That’sthewaymarriageworks,buddy.”
Mythroatclenchedwithfury.ThewayChuckhadsaidyourlittlewife,thecondescending,disrespectfultonehehadused,itmademefeelsickwithanger.Mystomachthrashed.
“Averywillbethebusinessowner,andifI’melected,I’llbemayor.”Emmettdroppedmyhandandcrossedhisarmsoverhischest.“We’llhavenothingtodowitheachother’sroles.”
“Thatdoesn’tmeanyouwon’tmakedecisionsinherfavor,”Chuckpressed.Besidehim,Cynthiawasnoddingwithasmuglook.
CynthiaglancedatmeandthenHannah,andIknewshehadtoldChuckwhatshehadoverheardinthebookstore.Maybetheydidn’tknoweverydetailofourarrangement,buttheyknew.Iftheyaccusedusofthat,though,they’dbelaughedoutoftownhall,sotheyfoundadifferentsoftspot.
Asoftspotthathadmerit.
IsaacworeablanklookbutnoddedasChuckspoke.
“Imagineifsheneedsapermit?”ChuckaskedIsaacandthecouncil.Hesnappedhisfingers.“Approved.There’sadisputebetweenherandanotherbusinessowner?”Hesnappedagain.“It’sruledinherfavor.Oh,look,acomplaintagainstTheArbutus?”Heshrugged.“Magicallygone.”
“Wewouldneverdothat!”Thewordsburstoutofme.Myvoiceshookwithfuryanddisbelief.Thetowncouncilwatchedwithraptattention.Outofthecornerofmyeye,Hannahwrungherhandsinherlap,lookingstricken.“Youknowus.Wewouldneverdothat.AndwhenhasTheArbutuseverhadaformalcomplaintattownhall?”
“Chuckhasmadeanexcellentpoint,”Isaacsaid,noddingandsteeplinghisfingersinfrontofhim.
No.Thiswasn’thappening.Thiswasabaddream.Iwasstillasleep,andIwashavinganightmare.Mymouthopenedandclosedbutnothingcameout.
“Areyoukiddingme?”Emmettshookhisheadandgesturedatme.“She’swantedtobuytherestaurantforyearsandnowyouwon’tletherbecauseofme?”
“Ourtownpridesitselfinupholdingtherules,Mr.Rhodes.”Isaacglancedatthecounciloneithersideofhimandtheynoddedwithpensivelooks.
Mystomachflipped.Icouldseetheconflictonthetowncouncil’sfaces.Sure,EmmettandIwerewell-likedaroundtown,butwhatChucksaidhadresonatedwiththem.Itwasaconflictofinterest.Therewasnodoubtaboutit.
Isaacclearedhisthroat.“TheissueisnotwithMs.AdamsbuyingthebusinessbutinMr.Rhodesalsorunningformayor.”HelookedatEmmettandI,andtherewasabsolutelynoemotioninhisexpression.Nothing.“It’soneortheother.”
Mystomachshrankintonothing.“I’mgoingtosignthepaperstomorrow.Youcan’tthrowthiscurveballatmenow.”
Isaacshookhishead.“Sorry.There’snothingIcando.”
EitherIcouldbuytherestaurant,orEmmettcouldrunformayor,butwecouldn’thaveboth.
IshotaglancetoEmmett.Helookedlikehehadbeenpunchedinthestomach,likehecouldn’tbelieveit.
“Thatconcludestowncouncilmeetingfortoday,”Isaacsaid,gatheringhispapers.“We’llpickbackupnextmonth.”
Therewasatense,uncomfortableatmosphereintheroomaspeoplefiledout.EmmettandIstoodthere,frozenandstaringateachother.
Histhroatworkedasheswallowed.“We’regoingtofigurethisout.”Hedidn’tsoundlikehebelievedhimself.
Ididn’t,either.“How?Howcanwepossibly—”
“Avery,Iamsosorry.”Hannahblinkedfuriouslyinfrontofme,twistingherhands.“Ican’tbelievehedidthat.Ican’tbelievehewouldstooptothatlevel.”
“Whatdoyoumean?”Emmetttiltedhisheadather.“Whyareyousorry,Hannah?”
Shebitherlipandglancedaroundtomakesurenoonewouldhearus.“Cynthiaoverheardustalkinginthebookstoreabout—”Shegesturedbetweenuswithanemphasizedexpression.
RealizationdawnedonEmmett’sface.HelookedatmelikeIwasadifferentperson.“YoutoldHannah?”Hismouthfellopenandheshookhisheadindisbelief.
Ithrewmyhandsup.“She’smybestfriendandIdidn’tthinkthiswouldhappen.”
Hannahburiedherhandsinherface.“Iamso,sosorry.”
ThewayEmmettwaslookingatme,likehecouldn’tbelieveIhadfuckeditallup,itbrokemyheart.Hewasright.Ihaddonethis.ItoldHannahwhenIshouldhavekeptitasecret.
Emmettwaschanginghiscareer,hiswholelifesothathecouldmakethistownabetterplace.Itwasn’tjustforWill,itwasforeveryonelivinghere.Hisintentionswerepure.
Icouldn’taskhimtodropthecampaign.Iwouldnever.EvenifIwasn’theadovergoddamnedheelsforthisguy,Icouldn’taskthat.ThistownneededEmmettasmayor.
Overhisshoulder,IcouldseeKeikoglancingacrosstheroomatmeasChuckspoketoher.Sheworeanexpressionofhesitanceandherarmswerecrossedoverherchestasheleaneddownintoherpersonalspace,sayingsomething.Herandherfamilyputeverythingintothatrestaurant.Iwassupposedtocarryontheirlegacy,carryontheheartandsouloftheplacetheyhadworkedsohardfor,butnowshewasrealizingthatChuckmaybeheronlyoption.
Thiswastoomuch.Keiko’slegacy,Hannah’sguilt,Emmett’sdisappointment,Icouldn’thandleit.Icouldn’tthinkinhere.Icouldn’tgetenoughair.Thisroomfelttoosmall.Iwassuffocating.
“Ihavetogo,”Itoldthemandsteppedthroughthedoor.
“Avery,wait.”Emmettwasrightbehindme.“Let’sfigurethisout.”
Ididn’tlookback.“Ineedtime.”
HisfootstepsstoppedandIbarrelledoutofthebuilding.28Avery
TheknockingstartedafewminutesafterIclosedmyofficedoor.
“Iknowyou’reinthere.”Max’svoicecarriedthroughthedoor.
Isatfrozeninmyswivelchair,handsovermyface,staringthroughmyfingersatthedoor.
ThedoorknobturnedbutIhadalreadyclickedthedeadboltclosed.Thedoorknobrattled.
“Avery.”Emmett’svoice,thistime.Hesoundedpissed.“Openthedoor.”
Ofcoursehewaspissed.Ihadputhiminthispredicament.Icouldn’tkeepmybigmouthshut,soIblabbedoursecrettoHannah.AndnowbecauseIwantedmypreciouslittlerestaurant,hewouldn’tgettobemayor.
Iheardhimsighinthehallway.“I’mgoingtofixthis.”
Ididn’tanswerhim.Ididn’tseehowhecouldgetusoutofthismess.Itwasmeorhim,butnotboth.
“Nothing’schanged,youknow.”TherewasagentlethunkandIimaginedhisforeheadrestingontheothersideofthedoor.“Istillfeelthesamewayaboutyou.I’mgoingtogodealwiththis,butIjustwantedyoutoknowthat.”
Iwantedtoopenthatdoor,butseeinghisfacewouldmakethissomuchharder.Hewasn’tgoingtoletmegiveupmyrestaurant.Ididn’twanthimtopulloutoftheraceformayor.Ijustneededtimetothink,bymyself,withouttheintoxicatingdistractionofhim.
Eventually,whenIdidn’tanswer,hisbootsthumpedonthehardwoodfloorsasheleftthehallway,andIslumpedintomychair.
Elizabeth’swordsfromyesterdayranginmyhead.He’stheonewhotakescareofeveryoneelse.Ialwaysworriedthathe’dneverhavesomeoneinhiscorner,takingcareofhim
IwantedtobethatpersonforEmmett,theonewhoputhisneedsfirst.Ididn’thavealotofpracticeatthisrelationshipthingbutIknewinmyheartthatheneededthatfromme.Hehadalwaysputothersfirst,butIdidn’twanthimtoputmefirstforthis.Himbeingmayorwastooimportanttohim.
Thephotoofmeandmymomsatonmydesk,catchingtheglarefromthelightstreaminginthroughthewindow.IpressedmylipstogetherinanunhappylineasIstudiedmymom’sface,soproudandexcitedtobeopeningherownrestaurant.
IfIthrewthetowelinnow,historywouldberepeatingitself.Maybenotinthesameway,butI’dstillbegivingitallupforaman.
IfIgavetherestaurantup,mymomwouldbesodisappointed.Icouldalreadyseeitonherface,thecrushedlookofconfusionasItoldherwhy.Wouldsheunderstand?Herandmydad,theywerenothinglikeEmmettandI.Theydidn’tlaughtogetherlikeEmmettandIdid.Theymayhavelovedeachotherdeepdownbuttheyweren’tfriendsthewayEmmettandIwere.
Mymomwouldbedisappointed.Keikowouldbedisappointed.Max,too.
CouldIbeartoseethisbeautifulheritagebuildingturnedintothenextcrappytouristrestaurant?No.
CouldIwatchasChuckfiredhalfmystaffandmadetheotherhalfwearlow-cuttopstodrawinmorecustomers?No.
CouldIwatchKeiko’sfamily’srestaurantbestrippedofallitscharacter,itscharm,itshistory?No.
ButIcouldn’tbeartoseeEmmettcrushed,either.Icouldn’tsitbyandwatchhimgobacktohiscompany,knowingthathecouldhavewontheelectionbutgaveitupforme.Hewasgoingtowin,Iknewhewould.
Myheartbrokeintofragments,becauseIknewwhatIwasgoingtodo.IknewitfromthesecondIlefttownhall.
MyphonebuzzedinmypocketandIpulleditoutandstaredatthetextsfromHannah:
Pleasecallme.
Avery,Iamsosorry.
Ifeelawful.Ican’tbelieveIdidsomethingsostupid.Pleasecallme.
Idialedandsheansweredonthefirstring.
“Hey.”Shewasbreathless.
“Hi.”Itwirledtheringaroundmyfinger,realizedwhatIwasdoing,andstopped.Ididn’twanttolookatit,notrightnow.ItwasjustanotherpainfulreminderofwhatIwasdoing.
“Younevershouldhavetoldmeaboutyoutwo,IwassupposedtokeepitasecretandIcompletelyletyoudown.”Hervoicebroke.
Iwassilentasecond,rubbingmyfacewithmyhand.WasIannoyedthatHannahdidn’tlockthedoor?Sure.ButCynthiabeinginthebookstoreatthewrongtimewasn’therfault.Itwasn’tfairtoHannahtofeellikethisoveramistakeIcouldhaveeasilymade.
“It’sokay,Han.Iteasilycouldhavebeenmesayingit.”ItwirledtheringagainbeforeIforcedmyselftostop.
“Whereareyou?Emmettwaslookingforyou.”
“Iknow.”Iswallowed.Emmett’swordsfromtheothersideofthedoorranginmyhead.I’mgoingtofixthis.How?Howcouldhepossiblyfixthismesswewerein?Ofcoursehe’dtry,though,becausehewasEmmett.Hewastheguywhofixedeveryone’sproblems.
“Peoplearereallyupsetaboutthis,”Hannahwhispered.“YoushouldhaveheardKeikogivingIsaacapieceofhermindafteryoulefttownhall.Eventhecouncillookedupset.”
IthoughtagainaboutthewordsElizabethhadsaidtomeyesterday,abouthowEmmetttakescareofeveryone,andnoonetakescareofhimuntilme.
“It’snotuncommonforbossesandemployeestobeinrelationships,”Hannahcontinued,“andcompaniesfindawayaroundthatallthetime.”Shehummed.“IguessIsaacnotwantingtolosetheelectionfactoredintohisquickdecisiontoday.”
EmmettandIweremarriednow.Maybeitwasn’tarealmarriageonpaper,butIlovedtheguy.Itoldhimthat,andImeantit.
Iwantedtofixthis.Notjustforme,butforEmmett.Thistime,IwantedtothebetheoneinEmmett’scorner.
Hannah’swordsregisteredandsomethingclickedinmybrain.“Wait.Whatdidyousayaboutmanagersandemployeesdating?”
“Oh.That.Uh.”Shesoundedembarrassed.“Ireaditinabook.Aromancenovel.Abosswantedtodatesomeonewhoworkedforhimsotheysignedacontractthatsaidallthedecisionsaboutheremploymentwouldbemadebyothermanagers.Shewouldn’ttechnicallyworkforhim.”
MyscalptingledandIcouldpracticallyfeelmyneuronsfiring.“Hannah.You’reagenius.”
“Iam?”
Ismiledandstood,pickingupmybag.“Yousureare.Ineedyourhelp,doyouhavesometimetoday?”
“Ofcourse!Yes.Iwanttohelp.”
“I’llbeatthebookstoreinfiveminutes.”29Emmett
Wavescrashedonthesandastidecamein,andIsatonCastleBeachwonderinghowthehellIwasgoingtogetusoutofthismess.
Iloveyou,shehadsaid.
Myhandsmadefists,eagertocallher,findher,pullhertowardsmeandtanglemyfingersintohersofthair,butshedidn’twantthat.Shewantedspace.
Rightnow,shewasprobablyregrettinghavinganythingtodowithme.
Isighedandrubbedmyhandsovermyface.
Shewasn’tgoingtogiveupherrestaurant,I’dmakesureofit.Nofuckingway.Itwastheonlythingshewanted.TheArbutuswaseverythingtoher,andshewaseverythingtome,sotherewasnowayinhellI’dbethereasonshedidn’tbuyit.Notafterwhatwe’dbeenthroughtogethere.Especiallynotafterwhatshetoldmeaboutherdad.I’dneverdothattoher.I’dmadeherapromiserightonthisbeach.
Myhearttwistedinmychest.Imissedher.IthadonlybeenabouteighthoursbutImissedher.
MyphonebuzzedagaininmypocketandIshutitoffwithoutlookingatthemessages.Ididn’twanttotalktoanyone.IneededtobebymyselfsoIcouldconcentrateandcomeupwithaplan.
Averysnuckintomythoughts,though.Thesoft,contentexpressiononherfacewhenIwokeherupthismorning.ThewaysherolledhereyesandbitbackasmilewhenIteasedher.Andthenthelookofhorrorandconfusiononherfaceattoday’stownhall,whensherealizedIstoodinthewayofherrestaurant.Exactlywhatshewastryingtoavoidthiswholetime.
IwantedthismarriagebetweenAveryandItobereal,butifshedidn’tgetherrestaurant,Iwasn’tsureshe’dbeabletoforgiveme.Idon’tknowifIcouldforgivemyself.
Irubbedthescaronmylipandstaredatthewater.TheonlywaythatIcouldhelpAverybuytherestaurantwastostepoutofthemayoralrace.IfIdidthat,thiswholeproblemwouldvanish.
ButwhataboutWill?WhataboutKaraandNat?Whataboutallthebusinessownersintownwholostpowereverytimewehadawindstorm?WhataboutDiv,whohadworkedhisassoffonthiscampaignsothatIwouldbeelected?
NoonewouldsayawordifIquit.Willwouldunderstand.I’dfeellikeafailure,though.Imadethemapromise,too.
Itwasoneortheother,though.Anguishtoreatmeandmychestached.Icouldn’tkeepmypromisestobothAveryandWill.
“You’dbeadifficultguytofind—”Averytookaseatonthelogbesideme,andmyheartleaptintomythroat.“—ifIdidn’thavethetop-secretdirectionstothisplace.”Herprettymouthpulledintoasmile,andshedroppedakissonmycheek.
Istaredatherwithconfusion.Shedidn’tlookmad,worried,orupset.Itwaslikethewholetownhallthingneverhappened.
Andthenshedidsomethingthatmademybrainflipupsidedowninsidemyskull.
Shelaughed.
Mymouthfellopen.
“Emmett,I’vegotapropositionforyou.”Shewiggledhereyebrowswithasmugsmile.
“Youhaveapropositionforme?”Iblinked.“Wetriedthatanditclearlydidn’twork.”
Sheshookherheadandfishedalargeenvelopeoutofherbag.“Beforeyousayitdidn’twork,readthis.”
Itooktheenvelopefromher,flippeditopen,slidthepapersout,andread.
“Thisemergencymotionproposesthefollowing,”Ireadaloud.“IfaconflictofinterestexistsbetweentheownerofaQueen’sCovebusinessandamemberoftheQueen’sCoveTownCouncil,thatcouncilmemberwillbeexemptfromdecisions,input,andvotesconcerningthatbusiness.Theremainingcouncilmemberswilloverseemattersconcerningsaidbusiness.Itisproposedthatthismotionbevotedintoeffectimmediately.”
Thepaperwasaphotocopyoftheoriginal.HIGHPRIORITYhadbeenstampedalongthetop,andbeneaththetext,everymemberofthetowncouncilexceptIsaachadsigned.Istaredatthesignatures.
Averynudgedme.“They’revotingtonight.”Shereachedoutandflippedthepage,revealinganotherlonglistofsignatures.Hannah.Keiko.Holden.Wyatt.Myparents.Miri.Scott.Theownersofthehardwarestore,thegrocerystore,andseveralhotelmanagersandowners.
IglancedatAvery.Myheartbeathardinmychest.“Youdidthis?”
Shenodded.“WithHannah’shelp.Wegotmostbusinessownersintowntosignin.”Shesmiledandmyheartflippedover.“It’sgoingtowork,Emmett,Iknowit.There’snowayIsaaccouldpossiblysaynotoeveryone.Thecouncilwilloutvotehim.”
Ifeltliketheearthhadbeenrippedoutfromunderneathme.HereIwas,mopingandstaringattheocean,whenAverywasbustingherasstofigurethingsout.
Isearchedherface.“Yousaidyouneededspace.”
Shechewedherlip.“Idid.AndthenIwantedtofixit.”Herthroatworkedassheswallowed.“Youtakecareofeveryone,Emmett.Everything’salwaysonyourshoulders.”Shetwirledtheringonherfinger.Seeingherstillwearingiteasedsomethinginme.“We’reinthistogether.Thisisrealforme.”
Thiswasnewtome,thisfeelingthatsomeonehadmybacklikethis.Thelightcaughtherdeepblueeyes,anditoccurredtomethatforaslongasIlived,Iwouldneverseeacolormorebeautiful.
“Thisisrealforme,too.”Iglancedatthelistofsignaturesagain.Mychestfilledwithprideatherquickthinkingandtenacity.“Youreallythinkthisisgoingtowork?”
Herphonebuzzedandsheheldupafingeronceshesawwhowascalling.“Holdthatthought.”Sheanswered.“Hey.”ShelistenedandIcouldhearavoicethroughthephonebutcouldn’tmakeoutthewords.Herneutralexpressiontoldmenothing.“Okay.Thanksforlettingmeknow.”Shehungupandlookedatmewithglitteringeyes.
Asmuggringrewonherface.“ThatwasKeiko,callingtoinformusthatthecouncilvotedthemotionin,andthatourmeetingatthebanktomorrowstillstands.”
“Itworked.”
Shenodded.“Mhm.I’llacceptyourendlessgratitudeintheformofmorningoral.”
“Itfuckingworked.”Icouldn’tbelieveit.ThenightmarewasoverandmyAveryhadknockeditoutofthepark.“Getoverhere.”Ipulledherontomylapandcutoffhersurprisedlaughwithmymouthonhers.
“Iloveyousomuch,”Isaidagainsthermouthinbetweenkisses.Herhandsfeltsogood,roamingmyshoulders,rakingmyhair,sendingshotsofelectricitydownmyspine.“I’msogratefulforyou.You’reeverythingtome.”
“You’reeverythingtome.”Herbreathlessnessmademycockstiffen.
Somethingpoppedintomyhead.It’srealtome,shehadsaidafewmomentsprior.
“Wait.”Myhandsstilledonherass.“There’ssomethingelse.”
Alittlefrowncreasedherforehead.“Okay.”
Outwithit.Iblewabreathout.“Wyattfiledthemarriagecertificate.”
Hereyeswentwide.
“Ididn’taskhimto,”Iaddedinahurry.“Itoldhimtoputitinmycarbuthethoughthewasdoingmeafavorbydroppingitatcityhall.”
Averywasfrozenonmylap,eyesstillwideandlipsslightlyparted.
“Wecangetitannulledifyouwant,that’sfinewithme.It’sjustapieceofpaperanditdoesn’tchangehowIfeelaboutyou.Istillwantthistobereal,butifyou’renotreadytomakeitlegal,that’sfine.Aftereverythingthathappenedwithyourparents—”
“No.”Herhandcoveredmymouthandshelookeddownatme.
“No?”Thewordwasmuffledagainstherfingers.
“Idon’twanttogetitannulled.”
“Youdon’t.”
Sheshookherhead,andthefrowndisappearedfromherface.Shetookadeepbreathandletitoutbeforenoddingonce.“Iwantthistobereal.Thisisreal.”ShelookedintomyeyeswithsomuchtrustandlovethatIfellonestepfurtherinlovewithher.“You’renothinglikemydad.AndI’mnotmymom.Itrustyou.Let’sjustleavethecertificatewhereitis.”Shegavemeahesitantsmile.“Let’sbemarriedforreal.Ifthat’swhatyouwant.”
Thiswoman.Sofuckingbraveandsweetandsmartandperfectforme.Madeforme.
“It’swhatIwant.”Ipulledhermouthbackdowntomine.“It’sallIwant.Iloveyou,sweetheart.”
ShewhisperedthewordsIwantedtohearmorethananything.“Iloveyoutoo,darling.”Epilogue
“Avery,yourememberthattableoftouristsfromlastyear?Themomhadasunburn.”Maxleanedonthedoorframeofmyoffice.
Ilookedupfrommydeskandsquinted.“Twokids?”
Henodded.“Theywanttospeaktothemanager.”
Agrincreptonmyface.“Well,Iguessyoubettergetoutthere.”
HerolledhiseyesbutIcouldseehewaspleased.“Theywanttospeaktoyou.Don’tworry,theyjustwanttosayhi.”
Aboutsixmonthsafterthesaleoftherestauranthadgonethroughlastyear,IhadpromotedMaxtomanagerofTheArbutus.Thewholegettingmarriedandfallingheadoverheelsinloveandnearlylosingeverythingsequenceofeventshadshiftedmylifeinafewways.NowthatIhadcrossedmylifelonggoalofowningasuccessfulrestaurantoffthelist,takingadayoffoccasionallydidn’tseemlikesuchabadidea.EspeciallywhenitwastospendtimewiththepeopleIloved.Emmett.Mymom,whohadmovedtotownacouplemonthsago.ElizabethandSam.Hannah.Mybrothers-in-law,Holden,Wyatt,andFinn.MiriandScott.Keiko,whoImostlychattedwithviaFacetimenowthatshewaslivingfulltimeinVancouver.
Iglancedatthephotosonmydesk.Keikoandtheworld’scutest,chubby-cheekedbabygirl,bothsmilingwithbrighteyesintothecamera.EmmettandI,holdinghandsonthebeachonourweddingday,megivinghimaprivatelittlesmileandhimwatchingmelikeIwaseverythingtohim.OneofEmmettandKaraatthebeach,alltannedcheeksandfreckles.Andmyfavorite:thepicturefromMiri’sturtlerehab,withEmmettandIholdingtheturtlesuptoourkissyfaces,withEmmett’slookofpurehorrorandmineofelatedamusement.
Maxlookedovermyshoulderatthepicture.“Thatphotobringsmejoy.Whattimeisthegrandopening?”
“Oneo’clock.Ishouldgetgoing.”Istoodandgrabbedmybag.“I’llsayhitothetouristsonmywayout.”
Intherestaurant,IgrinnedatmymomandElizabethasIpassedtheirtable.Whentheyarrivedearlier,Ihadsatandchattedwiththemforafewminutes.EveryThursday,theyhadlunchtogether.Itusuallylastedacouplehoursandwasaccompaniedbyseveralglassesofwineandlaughterthathadtearsrollingdowntheirfaces.
BetweenluncheswithElizabeth,volunteeringattheschoolwithMiri,andthewine-makingcourseshewastaking,mymomhadafullcalendar.Sheseemedhappyhere,andthatmademehappy.
WhenIapproachedthetableoftouristsfromlastyear,theparents’faceslitup.“Wecouldn’twaittocomebackallyear,”themomsaid,beamingatme.“IfollowTheArbutusonInstagram!”
MystomachflutteredwithprideandIcouldn’thelpthesmilethatspreadacrossmyface.“We’rethrilledtohaveyouback.”Imeantit.“I’mstockeduponaloe,too.”
Theparentslaughed.
Onmywayoutoftherestaurant,somethingcaughtmyeye.TheframedpictureofmymomandIinfrontofherrestaurantyearsago,theonethatusedtositonmydesk,hunginthefoyer.
TheArbutuswasKeiko’sfamily’slegacy,butnowitwasmyfamily’slegacy,too.Everythingthathadhappenedinmylifehadusheredmeintothisstageofmylife:watchingmymom’srestaurantfail,experiencingthedisappointmentthatwasmydad,movingtoQueen’sCoveonawhim,andsayingyestoEmmett’sridiculousplan.Somepartshadbeenhard,butIwouldn’tchangeathing.
IsmiledtomyselfasIwalkedthefewblocksover,sayinghellotopeoplefromtownandenjoyingthecool,sunnyweatherthatwassotypicalforMayinQueen’sCove.Aboutthirtypeoplegatheredinfrontofthetwo-storybuildingwhenIarrivedforthegrandopeningofMiri’snewturtlerehabilitationcenter.Theyhadoutgrownthepreviouscenterandthisspacewasnearlydoublethesize.AbannerreadingGRANDOPENING!hungonthebuildingandtherewasasmallstagesetup.
IspottedEmmettimmediately.HewasspeakingtoMiriatthesideofthestage.Evenafterayearofbeingmarried,myheartflip-floppedathowhandsometheguywas.Hisbroadshouldersfilledoutthatgreydressshirtperfectlyandmyfingersitchedtorakethroughhisthickhair.HenoddedatsomethingMirisaidbeforeheglancedup,caughtmyeye,andwinked.
Ibitbackagrin.Thisman.Ithadoccurredtomemany,manytimesoverthelastyearthatEmmettandIwereinevitable.Ihadalwaysbeenaffectedbyhim,onewayoranother,evenwhenitwasjusthimteasingmeintherestaurant,whenwebarelykneweachother.Iwinkedbackathim,andaflickerofheatroseinhisgaze.
“Hi,sweetheart.”Hepulledmeunderhisarm.
Igavehimaquickkissonthecheek,inhalinghiswarm,masculinescent.“Hi,honey.”
Miriclappedonce.“Avery,good,you’rehere.”Shegesturedatturtlerehabemployeerollingoutacartwithablackclothcoveringthecontents.“YoucanhandSarabethtoMr.MayorherewhenIgiveyouthesignal.”
Emmett’sgrindropped.“Who’sSarabeth?”Histhroatworked,andItriednottolaugh.“Miri.Wetalkedaboutthis.WhoisSarabeth.”
Mirigavehimalooklikeduh.“Oneofournewestguests.Weneedtomakeherfeelwelcome.”Shepulleduptheblackclothtorevealagoogley-eyedturtlewithitsfacepressedupagainsttheglass.
Emmettgagged,historsoheaving.“Miri,no.”
“Hi,folks,sorryI’mlate.”Don,theQueen’sCoveDailyblogger,appearedatoursidewithhiscamerastrungaroundhisneck.
“Ohgod,notagain.”Emmettpinchedthebridgeofhisnose.
Irubbedhisback.“It’llbeokay,honey.”
Miri’sattentionwascaughtbysomethingandherfacelitup.“Oh,perfect.Andhere’sCarter.”
Isawwhereshewaslookingandnearlychoked.
Carter,theearly-twentiesstonerwholivedinthebasementofmyoldplace,wanderedupwearingafullturtlemascotcostume,carryingthegiantturtleheadinhisarms.
“Laser!Didn’tknowyou’dbehere.Hey,bro.”HiseyeswidenedwhenhecaughtEmmett’sglare.“Youdon’tlooksogood.Areyouseasickorsomething?”
AtleastEmmettdidn’tlooklikehewasgoingtopuke,anymore.HegloweredatCarterandIfelthimtenseupbesideme.Isqueezedhiswaistabittightertodistracthim.
Heglanceddownatme.“Idon’tlikethispartofbeingmayor,”hemutteredwhileMiri,Don,andCarterwereinconversationaboutwhichwayCarterwouldwalkacrossthestage.
“Itcan’tallbefixingtheelectricalgridandfilingcriminalchargesagainstthelastguy.”
“Shhh.”HelookedaroundtomakesureIwasn’theardbeforeshootingmeagrin.“You’renotsupposedtoknowaboutthat.”
SoonafterEmmettwaselectedmayorbyalandslide,IsaacrelocatedhisfamilytoVancouver,andChuckputhisbusinessupforsale.Emmettwaslookingforinfrastructuredevelopmentrecordsandfoundsomedisappearingpapertrails.ComplaintsagainstChuck’sbusinessseemedtodisappearoncetheywerefiled.Thetowninfrastructurebudgetwasusedupeveryyearbychargesthatdidn’tmakesense.Andtherewerealotofexpensesfiledtwicethatsomehowmadeitpasttheaccountingdepartment.Emmettsuspectedthatsomeonewhohadaninterestinkeepingthetown’selectricgridinthedarkageshadbeenslippingIsaaccashunderthetable.Ageneratorcompanyorrepairperson,perhaps.
ButIwasn’tsupposedtoknowanyofthis,becauseEmmettandthetowncouncilwerestilldealingwithlawyers,andnothinghadbeenformallyfiledyet.
MirigesturedatEmmettthattheywerereadytostartandheleaneddowntogivemeaquickkiss.HislipsbrushedmineandIfeltthatzipofelectricitydowntomytoes.
“Loveyou,honey.”Hisvoicewaslowinmyear.
“Loveyou,too.”Ismiledandhim.
“IhopeyouknowI’mgoingtomakeyouwearthatthinglater.”Hemadesurenoonewaslookingbeforegivingmeaquicksmackontheass.Ilaughedandhesteppedonstageanduptothemicrophone.
“Goodafternoon,Queen’sCove!”Hebeamedandthesmallcrowdapplaudedandcheered.“WelcometothegrandopeningofthenewlocationofMiri’sHouseofTurtleHorrors.”
ThecrowdwassilentandMiri’smouthfellopen.Emmett’seyeswentwidewhenherealizedwhathesaid.Icoveredmymouthwithmyhandtohidemylaughter
“Imean,Miri’sTurtleHeaven.”Hecoughed.“Let’sgiveMiriabigroundofapplause!”
ThecrowdapplaudedasMiristeppedonstage,gesturingforCartertojoinher.Thesecondhesteppedupwithhisturtlecostume,thecrowdwentnuts.HewaswearingtheturtleheadsoIcouldn’tseehisexpressionbutbasedonthewayhewasdoingtherobotandmoonwalkingaroundthestage,Iknewhehadahugegrinonhisface.HedancedovertoEmmettandputhisarmaroundEmmett’sshoulders.
“Getoffme,”Emmettsaid,andIsnorted.“Miri’sorganizationhasalonghistoryofrescuingandrehabilitationturtlesinthearea.”
Besideme,theemployeeunlatchedthetankholdingtheturtles.Emmett’sprofessionalsmilefalteredandhiseyesdartedtothetank.
“And,um—”Histhroatworked.“Andwiththenewfacility,they’llbeabletoacceptnearlytwicetheguests.”
Theemployeereachedinandpickeduptheturtle,Sarabeth,whosearmsandlegsweresplayedintheair.“Hereyougo.”
“Thanks.”IscoopeduptheturtleandglancedatMiri,whonoddedandgesturedformetosteponstage.
AlookofnauseacameoverEmmett’sfaceandhisnostrilsflared.Hisgazedartedbetweenmeandtheturtle.“Miri’sorganizationismostlyrunoffdonations,andum,shewouldliketothanktheresidentsofQueen’sCovefortheirgenerosity.”Heswallowed,staringattheturtleinmyhandsasIapproached.
Helookedupatmeandgaveaslightshakeofhishead.No,hiseyespleaded.
Igrinnedwiderathim.Yes,Inodded.
“OnbehalfoftheQueen’sCovetowncouncil—”Emmettgagged.“—IwouldliketopresentMiri’sTurtleHeavenwithagrantoftwentythousanddollars.”
“Quick,”Mirisaidinmyear.“Now.”
IshovedtheturtleintoEmmett’shandsandhisfacemorphedintoanexpressionofhorror.Donreadiedhiscamera,MiristeppeduptoEmmett’ssideandsmiled,andonEmmett’sotherside,Carterbegantotwerkagainsthim.Donsnappedthepictureandgaveusthethumb’supwhilethecrowdcheered.
“Stopthat,”EmmettbarkedatCarterbeforepracticallytossingtheturtlebacktoMiri.“Miriwillbeleadingtoursofthenewfacilityallafternoon,”hesaidintothemicrophone.“Congratulations,Miri.IneedtoleavenowbeforeIthrowup.”
Mirigazedintotheeyesofherturtlewithanadoringsmile.“Okay.”
Emmettpulledmeoffstageandslatheredhishandsinsanitizer.“Ihopeyouenjoyedthat.Ineedtogoboilmyhands.”
Isnortedashegrabbedmyhandsandsmearedsanitizeronthem.“Youdidgreatupthere.”
Heshuddered.“IfMiriwantstoopenanotherturtlerescueplace,I’msayingno.”
Ismiledathim.“No,youwon’t.”
Hesighed.“No,Iwon’t.”Hepulledouthisphonetoglanceatthetime.“Whatdoesyourdaylooklike?Ihadbookedofftheentireafternoonforthis.Wanttoplayhookywithme?”
Aslysmilegrewonmyface.“Mr.Mayor,you’reaterribleinfluenceonme.Alwaysropingmeintoyourgrandplans.”
Hestoppedandleaneddownsothathismouthwasjustabovemyear.“Justwaituntilyouseewhatwe’regoingtodotonight.”
Ashiverrolledthroughmeandmystomachfluttered.“Isurelikebeingmarriedtoyou.”
Hiseyebrowswentup.“Good.GetusedtobeingmywifebecauseI’mnotgoingback.”
WespenttheafternoonatCastleBeach,sittingonablanketthatwekeptinthecarforthisveryreason,watchingthewavesandthesparklingwater,listeningtothebirdschirpateachother.ThesungentlywarmedourskinandEmmett’sarmheldmetohissidewhileIleanedmyheadonhisshoulder.
Iglanceddowntheemptybeach,thentotheseaandtheforestacrossthewater.“Thismustbewhatheavenislike.”
“Anywherewithyou,Adams.”Histhroatworkedwhenhelookeddownatme.“Anywherewithyou.”
Afamiliarfigureappearedoutinthesurf.“It’sWyatt,”Isaid,squintingandpointing.
Emmettwatchedforamoment.“Who’swithhim?He’susuallysolo.”
Asecondfigureappeared,floatingbesideWyatt.TheirbackwastomebutI’drecognizethatbrightblondehairanywhere.
“IsthatHannah?”Iblinked.Hannahdidn’tsurf.Hannahdidn’tleaveherbookstore.HannahcouldbarelymakeeyecontactwithWyatt.
Emmettmadeathoughtfulnoiselike,huh,andwewatchedthempaddleofftoanotherbeach.Ismiledtomyself.Whateverwasgoingon,Hannahwouldtellmewhenshewasready.
Finally,weheadedhome.Emmettwouldmakeapastaandwe’dsitoutonthepatiowithourdinnerandaglassofwinelikewedidmanysummerevenings.Thesecondwesteppedinthefrontdoor,though,Emmettranupthestairs.
Iwasinthekitchen,pullingingredientsoutofthefridge,whenhereappearedwithitinhishandsandahugegrinonhisface.
“Nope.”Ishookmyhead.“Absolutelynot.”
“Adams.”Hisvoicewasteasingandcajoling.“Youpromised.”
Itookastepbackbutwasblockedbythecounter.“Ididnosuchthing.”
Heshookoutthemushroomhat,plumpingituptoitsoriginalsize.Ithadbeensquashedinthebackofmycloset.Emmettwouldn’tletmethrowitoutorincinerateitinacampfirethewayIwantedto.
Heputonaninnocentexpression.“Iheldthatgrosslittleturtletoday,baby.Ididn’twanttodoitbutIdiditforthegreatergood.”Hesteppedcloserwiththepuffyhat.“Now,yourturn.”
Imadetoboltbuthecaughtmeandlaughtertumbledoutofme.Itriedtowiggleoutofhisgraspbuthisarmwaslockedaroundmywaist.Icouldn’tstoplaughing.
“Marriageisaboutcompromise.”Withonehand,hetriedtoshovethehatonmyhead.
Myarmswerepinnedtomyside.“Marriageisabouttrust,”Iwheezed,gigglingandthrashing.“Idon’ttrustyounottopostapictureofmeinthishat.”
Emmettpulledthehatovermyhead,backwardsatfirstsothatthehead-holewasattheback.Isighedindefeat,straightenedup,andhespunthehataround
Itriedtoglareathim.Hebeamedbackatme.“Theresheis.Mybeautifulwife.”
“Ihateyou.”Ismiled,despitethisfuckingdumbhat.
Theskinaroundhiseyescreasedandhiseyestwinkled.“No,youdon’t.Youloveme.”
Myhandscametohischest.“Despitemybestefforts,Ihavefallendeeplyandmadlyinlovewithyou,andwearedestinedtobetogetheruntiltheendoftime.”
AlookofuttercontentmentpassedoverEmmett’sface.“AllIeverwanted,Adams.”WantabonusspicyscenewithEmmettandAvery?
It’sEmmett’sbirthdaypartyandAveryknowshe’lllovehisgift.
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Ihadablastwritingthisbook.Iwouldwriteitbeforework,cacklingtomyselfatseveninthemorningasItauntedEmmettwithturtles.Thankyoutimesamillionforreadingit.Iwriteprimarilyformyself,butIalsowriteforyou,holdingthisbook,becausepeoplelikeyouandI?Weloveromance.Romanceisfantastic.Wedon’tletanyonetellusdifferently.
Tomybrilliantwriterfriends:SarahSmith,TovaOpatrny,MaggieNorth,andAshleyHarlan.Thankyouforalwayslendingmeyourcreativegeniusandyourthoughtfulwordsofwisdom.Ifeelluckytoknowallofyou.
TothemembersofFYS,you’rethestuffdreamsaremadeof.Thesky’sthelimitwithyoubunch.Thankyouforyourenthusiasticsupportinallmyendeavours.
HelloClarice,mybesties,mysoulmates.Oneday,wewillunlockladiesofleisurestatus.Mayourclosetsalwaysbefullofethicalfaux-furminksandmartiniglasses(forthrowing).
ToKathleen.Thankyoufornevermakingmefeelanythinglessthanwelcomeandcherishedinyourfamily.TheworldneedsmoreMIL’slikeyou.Pleasedon’treadthisbook.
Tim.EveryjokeItellistomakeyoulaugh,everywordIwriteistomakeyouproud.Isendasilentthankyouuptotheuniverseeverydaythatyou’reinmylife.AbouttheAuthor
StephanieArcherisanauthorofsteamyromanticcomediesfromVancouver,Canada.Herbooksfeaturesharpbanter,sizzlingscenes,lotsoflaughs,andguaranteedHEA’s.ShebelievesthatBridesmaidsisthefunniestmovieofalltimeandthatuniversitylabpartnersmakegreathusbands.
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