THEBROKENELFKING
KINGSOFAVALIERBOOKTWOLEIASTONECopyright?2022byLeiaStone
CoverbyFayLane
Allrightsreserved.
Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedinanyformorbyanyelectronicormechanicalmeans,includinginformationstorageandretrievalsystems,withoutwrittenpermissionfromtheauthor,exceptfortheuseofbriefquotationsinabookreview.
CreatedwithVellumCONTENTS
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Chapter16
Chapter17
Chapter18
FollowMe
AcknowledgmentsONE
Thecoveredwagonjerkedtoastopandmyshoulderslammedintothepersonnexttome.Imumbledanapology,andthenthebackcanvasflapsopened.
“Out!”theslavetraderbarked,andweallstood.Ittookquiteaneffortconsideringourhandsweretiedbehindourbacks.
Ifollowedthelineofmyfellowcaptives,andwhenIgottotheedgeofthewagonIjumped,wincingatthestinginmyheels.IpeeredaroundquicklytofindthatwewereatthegoldengatesofElfCity,thecapitalofArchmere.I’dneverbeenoutsideofNightfall,andalthoughmycurrentpredicamentwasdreary,IwantedtoatleastsightseebeforeIwassoldintoalifeofservitude.Myfather,afull-bloodedelf,spokefondlyofhismotherland,andIcouldseewhy.Talltreeswithwhitebloomslinedtheoutercastlegates,androllinghillsandmountainssurroundedusonallsides.Itwasbreathtaking.
“Headdown,”thetradersnappedatme,boppingmeinthebackoftheskull.
MyfeetsuddenlycaughtonmylongcloakandIyelpedasIwentdown.Withmyhandstiedbehindmetherewasn’tmuchIcoulddobutbraceforthefall.Turningmyfacetotheside,Isquaredmyshoulders,hittingthegroundhardandsmashingmybreastsagainstarock.Painsplashedacrosstheentirefrontsideofmybody,butI’dmercifullykeptmynosefrombreaking,soIwascallingitawin.TheotherservantsstoppedandpeereddownatmeasIrolledtomysideandglaredupattheslavetrader.Hewastallandthicklybuilt,ahumanbutstillstrongenoughtocausesomedamageifIpissedhimoff.
Igroaned,andthensecondslaterthetraderreacheddownandhauledmeupbythearmpit.
“Ifyoucan’tevenwalkstraight,Iwon’tgetpropermoneyforyou,”thetraderspat.
Iwantedtothroat-punchthebastard,butthatwasimpossiblewithmycurrentpredicament.I’dsettleforaheadbutt,thoughitwouldprobablygetmekilled.ThebestIcouldhopefornowwasformynewmastertobeadecentperson—er,elf.
Thelineofmyfellowindenturedservantsstartedwalkingagain,andIwasforcedtofollow,allthoughtsofthegloriousheadbuttbehindme.ThistimeIwasmoremindfulofmyfooting.
Iwonderedwhatmyauntwasdoingrightnow.Whenthey’dtakenmeshe’dbeenscreamingandcrying.Shewasprobablyworriedsick.I’dlivedinNightfallallnineteenyearsofmylife,andasanelf-humanhybridIwasblessedwithshort-croppedears.Sothequeen,noranyoneelseinNightfallhadanyideaIwasn’thuman.
“What’syourdebt?”thegirlbesidemewhispered.
Pulledfrommythoughts,Ishookmyhead,notunderstandingwhatshemeant.
“Gambling.IowetwogoldcoinstoBino,”sheoffered,lookingsullen.
Binoranthepokerringatthetavern.NowIunderstoodherquestion.ShewantedtoknowwhyIwasbeingsold.
Ishouldneverhaveborrowedthemoneyformyaunt’smedicineknowingIwasn’tgoingtobeabletopayitback.ButI’dbeendesperatetostoptheseizuresthatplaguedher.I’dneverbeentaughttousemyelvinhealing,sowewereatthemercyofthehumandoctorsandwhattheyhadavailable.Myauntwasahuman,sameasmymother,andmyfatherhadbeenanelf.Momdiedinlaborwithmeandmydadwaskilledinthetownsquaretomakeanexampleoutoftrespassers.He’dbeencomingtoseeme.NowmyauntwasallIhad,theonlyfamilyI’deverknown.
“Fivegoldcoins.Tothechemist,”Itoldher.
Shelookedsurprisedbytheamount,nodoubtwonderingifIhadapillproblem.Iwisheditwerethat—itwouldmakemoresensethanthequeencharginganarmandalegforlife-savingmedication.SometimesIthoughtitwasherwaytoweedoutthesick.Makealloftheweak,poorpeopledependentonmedicationdieoffandstrengthenherperfectsociety.MostofushatedQueenZaphira.Hersickplantohumanizetheentirerealmmeantthatallofthemagicalraceswouldneedtobeculledfirst.Thenecros,elves,fae,wolvens,andeventhedragon-folkwouldeventuallybewipedfromAvalierifthequeenhadherway.
“Myauntissick.Sheneedsexpensivemedicine,”Iexplainedtothegirl.
Myaunt’sseizuresstartedwhenIwastwelve,littlefitshereandthere,butthislatestonehadbeensobadherleghadn’tworkedrightafterward.Shehadtodragitnowwhenshewalked.Shewouldneedmoremedicineinamonth’stimetokeepthemaway.
“Quityapping!”thetraderyelled,andthegirlandIparted,lookingaheadandtakinginthecity.
Theelvincitywasbeautiful.Itwascarvedofalderwoodwithgoldinlayandsemipreciousstones.Thehigh-pointedarcheswerebreathtaking.Thesunlighthittingthegoldinlayandpreciousstonesmadeitlookliketheyglitteredaswewalked.Butwe’dpassedthroughtheentirecityandI’dbarelynoticed,lostinmythoughtsandtalkingtothegirl.Nowwestoodatadoorwayonthesideofthelargewhitecastle.
“Servantentrance,”aguardsaid,andIlookedupatthevoice.
Don’tletanyonetellyouthatallelvesaretallandskinny.Themanguardingtheservantentrancetothecastlewastheoppositeofthat.Ashort,squattymanwithabeakynoseandice-blueeyesglaredatme.Hisgolden-whitehairwastiedintoaponytailandbraidedatthesides.Inoticedtheswordathishipandwonderedifheevenknewhowtouseit.
Therewasnowayhewasapartoftheking’sroyalguard.TheBowMenwereknownfortheirsilentanddeadlytreetopassaults.Thismandidn’tlooklikehecouldclimbatree.
Thetradercameoutofnowhereandgraspedmyneck,forcingmyheaddownsosharplythatpainexplodedinmyneck.“I’llpluckthoseprettyeyesoutofyourheadifyoucan’tkeepyourfacedown.”
Ihissed,ballingmyhandsintofistsbehindme.Thisratbastardwasreallystartingtopissmeoff.I’dbeensoldintoservitudeyes,butthatdidn’tmeanIwasapunchingbag.Iwasabouttogivehimapieceofmymindwhenheletgo.
Istumbledforward.Myfacefelthot,Iwassoangry,butIinhaledsharply,takingdeepbreathstocalmdown.
Wewerefunneledthroughahallwhichwasasornateanddecoratedastheoutsideofthecastle,andthenintoalargeopenstoreroomwithtoweringceilingsthatrosetwostorieshigh.Bagsofflourandricesatinthecorner,andpilesofpotsandpanswerestackedinanother.WelinedupagainstthefarwallandIlookedupwardatthewindowsatopthesecondfloortoseesomepeoplestaringdownonus.
Ournewmasters?
Ididn’tknowthefirstthingaboutbeingaservant.I’dneverhadone.ButIknewhowtocookandclean,soitcouldn’tbemuchmoredifferentthanthat.
Right?
“Youwillbeunboundsothattheleadmaidcancheckyoufordiseases,thenyouwillbeassignedintoyournewjobshereinthepalace,”thetraderyelled,snappingmefrommythoughts.“Ifyoutrytorun,Iwillkillyouandyourdebtwillfalltoyournextremainingfamilymember.”
Weweregoingtoworkhereinthepalace?Thatwaskindofexciting.IeyedthestackofflourandriceandhopedIwasn’trelegatedtothekitchens.Ididn’tmindcooking,butdoingdisheswasHades.Soggyfoodcreepedmeout.I’dlovetobeassignedtothelibraryoreventoworkwiththehealers.AsahalfelfwithzerotrainingIhadnohealingabilitymyself,butI’dlovetolearnandhelpinanysmallway.
AtNightfallUniversityI’dbeenstudyingbiologysothatIcouldfindacureformyaunt,butthatwasallgonenow.Almosttwoentireyearsofclassesandhomeworkandstudies,allfornothing.
MyshacklesunclickedandIrolledmyshoulders,groaningatthepainfulreleaseinmychestfrombeingtiedlikethatforseveralhoursofthejourney.ForasplitsecondIwantedtorun,wantedtoboltlikeabunnyrabbitacrosstheroom,outsideandintothewoods.Ieyedthedoorsandthere,oneachside,weretwoBowMen.Theystoodtallandsilent,barelymovingtobreathe,withanarrowalreadynockedintotheirbows.
Igulped.
Anoldwomanenteredtheroomthen,herwhitehairtiedintoasleekbunatopherhead.Sheworeabluecottonmaid’suniformwithawhiteapron,andheldasmallstickinherhand.
“MynameisMrs.Tirth.IamtheleadmaidhereatArchmereCastle.Iwillbecheckingyouforliceandmakingsureyoudon’thaveanydeformitiesthatwouldkeepyoufromdoingyourjobhere.”
Lice?Gross.Ieyedthegirlnexttome,whoscratchedherhead.
Therewerenineofusinall,amixofelf,fae,andhuman—thecastlemusthavepurchasedusinbulkforvariousjobs.Ididn’twanttooverstep,butIreallywantedtoworkwiththehealersoraroundbooksifpossible.
Bitingmytongue,IwaiteduntilMrs.Tirthusedhersticktopokeandprodeveryone’shairandcheckintheirmouthsandpeercloselyattheirhandsandfeet,untilshegottome.Whenshedid,Ideeplycurtsied.“Mrs.Tirth,woulditbeinappropriatetoofferalistofstrengthssothatyoumightbestfituswithourjobs?”
Theoldwomanraisedaneyebrowatmeandthenglancedupintotheviewingbox,whereafewhoodedfiguresstilllookeddownonus.
“Strengths?”sheaskedasshebegantodigthroughmybrownhairwiththestick.
“Yes,ma’am.Icanreadandwrite.I’madeptatcalculusandorganicchemistry,andhaveapassionforreadingandhealing.”
Thestickfroze,tangledinmyhair,andthewomanstareddownatme.Ibracedmyselfforherreactionbutshejustburstoutintolaughter.Thetradercackledtoo,aswellastheotherslaves,andnoweveryonewaslaughingatme.
“Honey,Ijustneedyoutomakebreadorcleanthetoilets,”Mrs.Tirthsaid,andmystomachfell.
Well,itwasaworthashot.
Ifeltthetradermovebehindme.“Wantmetocheckherforpubiclice?”Hehuffedandthenhishandlandedonmyassandsqueezed.
Hard.
Mrs.Tirthlookedaffrontedatthetrader’scomment,butIknewshe’ddonothingaboutit.
Everyangry,repressedfeelingI’dbeenholdinginsincethebankershadcomeandtakenmeawayfrommyauntexplodedoutofmethen.AvengefulragewashedovermeandIsnapped.Spinning,Ifacedtheuglytrader.HegazeddownatmewithlustyeyesandIsnappedmypalmupwardintohisnosejustlikemyauntiehadtaughtme,andwasrewardedwiththecrunchofbone.HebentforwardtograbhisfaceandIreachedupwithmyknee,smashingitashardasIcouldintohismanparts.
Awailcutthroughtheroomandhefelltotheside,red-faced.
“Ohdear,”Mrs.Tirthsaidbehindme.
Ispuntofacetheheadservant.“Hetouchedmybacksidewithoutpermission.Isthatencouragedhere?”Iaskedher,hopingtotalkmyselfoutofwhateverpunishmentwasabouttocomemywayforretaliatingagainstthetrader.
HerfaceflushedandInoticedmovementaboveinthewindow.Oneofthehoodedfigureswasleavingtheroom.IknewI’dgonetoofar,butdammit,whatthetraderdidwasn’tokayandIwashopingMrs.Tirthwouldagree.Womantowoman.
Sheswallowedhard.“Itisnot,”shefinallysaid.
ThetwoBowMenweresuddenlybehindme,hookingmeunderthearmpitsanddraggingmetowardsthedoors.
Crap,wheredidtheycomefrom?
Itriedtostruggleintheirgraspbutitwasnouse.Theyliftedmeintotheair,pinchedsomethinginmyarmpittocauseawhimperfrommythroat,andcarriedmeasifIweremadeofparchment.
MyheartpoundedinmychestandIturnedtooneofthem.“Hegrabbedme,youmusthaveseen.Ididn’tkillhimoranything,”Ipleaded.
ThedoubledoorsopenedandthenIwasbeingwalkeddowntheornatelydecoratedhallwayandintoanotherroom,thisonesmallerandwithamansittingbehindadesk,agraycloakpulleduptoobscurehisidentity.
“Okay,I’mobviouslynewhere,sonowthatIknowtherulesmaybewecangivemeafreepass,”Ibegged.Ididn’twanttobehangedforkneeingthetraderintheballs,butIcouldn’tletthatfly.TheBowMendroppedmebeforethedeskandthenlefttheroom.
Istoodthere,frozen,asIstaredatthepersoninthecloak.“I—”
“Youtalktoomuch.Wewillneedtoworkonthat.”Hisvoicewasgruff,powerful,andIimmediatelyknewIwasinthepresenceofsomeoneincharge.
“Yes…sir.Icandothat.Assumingyouletmelive?”Iwasn’tsurewhatwasgoingonhere.
Themanreachedupwithlongslenderfingersandpulledbackthecloak,revealingthestrongjawandhandsomefaceofthefreakingkingoftheelves.
“RaifeLightstone,”Ibreathed,curtsyingdeeply.
Hisblueeyesranovermybodyasifassessingmycurtsy,andmycheeksreddened.
“Yourcurtsyindicatesyoucomefromahighbornfamily,”heobserved.
Wedidn’treallyhavehighbornsinNightfall.Educatedanduneducatedwaswhatwecalledit,andninetypercentofthepeoplewereeducatedinNightfallbecausethequeenmandateditandmadeitfree.Iwasconsideredpoorbuthighlyeducated,soforallintentsandpurposesahighborninhismind.
“Yes,mylord,”Isaid,tryingtokeepmyanswersshortsincehe’dsaidIspoketoomuch.
HestoodandIfroze,takenabackbyhowlankyhewas,atleastaheadandahalftallerthanme,andthatwassayingsomethingasIwastallforawoman.Hesteppedoutfrombehindthedeskandfacedme.“What’syourname?”
“KailaniDulane,sir.”
“AreyouawareoftheonegiftthatallthekingsofAvaliershare?”heasked,andIknewwherethiswasgoing.
OhMaker.
Iswallowedhard.KingValdrenofthedragon-folk,KingLucienThorneofthefae,KingAxilMoonofthewolven,andKingRaifeLightstoneoftheelves,allhadthegiftofsmellingalie.
“Youcansmellalie,”Isaid.
Helookedsurprised.“Youarewelleducated.”
TheNightfalllibraryhadbooksoneverymagicalrace.Itwasalltoaidinthequeen’splottoeradicatethem.Themoreweknewaboutthem,themorewecouldhurtthemandeventuallywipethemout.
“I’mgoingtoaskyouaseriesofquestions,andbasedonyouranswersitwilldetermineyourfate,”hesaid,walkinginaslowcirclearoundme.
DizzinesswashedovermebutInodded.
Heinhaledthroughhisnose.“Halfelf?”heasked,soundingpleased.
“Yes,lord.Myfather,”wasallIsaid,tryingtobebriefaspossible.
“Hisname?”
Iswallowedhard.“RufusDulane.HelivedinthefishingvillageofKing’sBurrow.”
Henodded,seeminglypleasedwiththatanswer.
“Whywereyousoldintoservitude?”heasked.
Isighed.“ItookaloanIcouldnotrepay.”
“Obviously.”Hesoundedannoyedwithmyshallowanswer.“Whatfor?”
Ididn’tliketheintrusivenessofthequestionbutknewImustanswerandtruthfully.Mylifewasinhishands.“Forlife-savingmedicationformyaunt.”
Hisbrowknottedinconfusion.Hewouldbeperplexedatthat.PeopleinArchmeredidn’tneedmedication.Iftheygotsicktheywerehealed.Forfree.Itwasaseasyasbreathingforthem.
“Didyouknowyouwouldnotbeabletorepaytheloanwhenyoutookit?”hequestioned.
Igrowledslightlythen,mygazeflickingtohisandholdingit.“Yes,”Isaidwithannoyance.“Tosavemyaunt.”
Heseemedtoconsidermyresponse.
“Whatareyourthoughtsontheelvinrace?”
Ifrowned.“That’sabroadquestion.I—”
“IneedtoknowifIwillbehiringsomeonewhohatesmeandmypeople,”heclarified.“YougrewupinNightfallunderthequeen’srule.”
Sohewasthinkingofhiringme?Notkillingme?Thatexcitedme.Maybethiswouldn’tendinmyhanging.
Inodded.“Ithinktheyarelucky.Theyhavenosicknessandcaneasilyheal.Iamjealousofthehealingabilityandwishthemnoharm.”
Hefrowned.“Jealousofanabilityyouhave?”
Ifeltmycheeksredden.“Ineverbloomed.Myfatherdiedbeforehecouldtrainmeand…mymagicnevercame.”
Bloomingwaswhattheelvescalleditwhenyourmagicsurfaced,usuallyaroundagefivewhenyoustartedyourtraining.
Hesteppedbeforemethen,squaringhisshouldersandlookingmerightintheeyes.“Alright…andwhatareyourthoughtsontheNightfallqueen?”
Istiffened,holdingmybreath.Itwasnosecretthatthequeenhadmurderedtheelfking’sentirefamilywhenhewasfourteen.Sevensiblings;onlyhesurvived.Hehatedher,thatmuchIknew,andsodidI,buttosaythatoutloudwastreason.
Ilookedovermyshoulder,checkingifthedoorwasclosed.Speakingoutagainstthequeenwasmetwithaswiftresponse,andI’dneverdoneit,noteventomyaunt.Wegrumbledaboutthelackofaccommodations,ortreatment—wespokeillofsomeofthearmy’sdeeds,butneverofher.Hiseyesnarrowedtoslits.
“WhatdoyouthinkabouttheNightfallqueen?”hepressedagain.
Itookinadeepbreath.“Ihateher.Iwishshe’djustdiesoweallcouldliveinpeace,”Isaidinarush,andthenclampedmyhandsovermymouth.
Ahalfcockedgrinspreadoverhisfaceforasecondandthenitwasgone.“Verywell.I’dliketohireyouonasmynewpersonalassistant.Mylastonegotmarriedandleft,”hedeclared,andwentbackbehindhisdesktoscribbleonapieceofparchment.
Isaggedinrelief.Personalassistanttotheking?Thatsoundedlikeabigdeal.Notlikecleaningtoiletsormakingbread.“I…I’dbehonored.”
“Ineedsomeonewelleducated,”hestated,stilllookingdownathisparchment.“Fastattakingnotes,abletoreadbooks,andlearnaboutnewthingsandinformme.”
Inearlyjumpedoutofmyskinwithjoy.“Ilovereading.Ireadabookaday,allkindsofsubjects,andevenfictionforfun.”
Helookedupthenandpushedthepieceofparchmenthe’dbeenwritingonacrossthedesk,handingmeaquillandink.“Doitquickly.”
Ihadnoideawhatitwas,atestofsomesort?Iworkedwellunderpressure,andsoIsatatthechairacrossfromhisdeskandgrabbedhisinkquillandthepieceofparchment.
Itwasatest.Anditwasinthreedifferentlanguages!
ThanktheMakerIspokethemall.
“Ihaven’tseenwrittenOldElvishinyears,”Iadmitted.Idippedthequillintheink,gratefulI’dhadsuchacuriosityforlanguagesacrosstherealmandstudiedthemall.
HisfirstquestionwaswritteninOldElvishandwassimple.ItgaveaproblemofafishingvesselsinkingoutinFallenmooreterritory.ThequestionaskedwhethertheelfkinghadtherighttoretrievetheboatorwouldneedKingMoon’spermissionbeforedoingso.ItseemedmostlylikeaquestiontomakesureIunderstoodthelanguage.
Iansweredandthenmovedontothenext.ThisonewaswritteninNewElvish.Anothersimplequestion,whichIanswered.ThelastonewasadetailedarithmeticproblemwritteninAvalerian,whichwasthelanguagesharedamongallpeoplesofAvalier.
Ifinishediteasily,andhandedbacktheparchment.
Heraisedhiseyebrows.“Thatwasfast.”
Ishrugged.
Heglancedattheparchment,tookthequill,andmadeafewnotesnexttomyarithmeticproblemasifcheckingmywork.“Welldone.”
Ibeamed.
Hefoldedhishandsbeforehim.“MycouncilisinsistingIgetmarried.Thecourtingprocessstartssoon.IwillneedyoutokeepdetailednotesoneachwomanImeetwithandhelpmedecidewhichonetochoose.”
Myeyesnearlyfelloutofmyhead.
“You…youwantmetohelpyoupickawife?”
Henoddednonchalantly.“It’stheonlywaytogetthecounciloffmyback.”
Wow,luckylady.Heseemedreallyintomarriage.
“Well,sure,Icandothat.”IfitkeptmyheadattachedtomyneckI’ddojustaboutanything.“Whataremyotherjobduties?I’dliketowritethemdown,”Itoldhim.
Helookedimpressedatthat.Hehandedmeacleanparchmentandquill.Ijotteddownwhathe’dalreadytoldme.
Findwife.
“You’llaccompanymetomeetings,remindmeofpeople’snamesandjobs.Iliketoknowmystaffs’birthdaysbutIcan’tbebotheredtorememberthem.”
“Ofcourse.”
Heleanedbackinhischair.“Oh,myoldtastetesterdied,soI’llneedyoutofillinuntilIcanhireanewone.”
Ifroze.Atastetestertoroyaltywasoneofthemostdangerousjobsintherealm.Theywereconstantlypoisoned.
“You…couldn’thealthem?”
Hefrowned.“Notintime.It’sacommonmisunderstandingthatelvescanhealanythingandnevergetsick.”
“Whataboutoneoftheotherslavesyoujustbought?”Hehadeightofthem.
Heshookhishead.“Idon’ttrustanyofthem.”
Didthatmeanhetrustedme?Ifso,why?
Okay,itwasonlypart-timeuntilhecouldfindamorepermanentone.
Findwife.
Remembernames,birthdays.
Attendmeetings.
Tastetester.
“Anythingelse,mylord?”
Henodded.“IfIamtotrustyouandyouaretoworkcloselywithme,IwillneedyoutotakeaVowofNoHarm.”
Myeyebrowraised.Ididn’tknowwhatthatwas,butIknewtheelvesandfaetookvowsseriously.
“Okay,”Isaidtimidly.TenminutesagoI’dkneedmycaptorintheballsandnowIwasinajobinterviewwiththekingoftheelves.
Whataday.
Heclearedhisthroat.“Onemorething…”
Ibracedmyself.Helookedslightlyuncomfortable.
“Areyouunmarried?”
Oh,easyquestion.“Yes.Unmarried.NevermetamanIcouldtoleratelongenoughtomarry.”
Thehalfcockedsmirkwasbackandhenodded.“Nochildren?”
Ishookmyhead.“Nope.”
Helookedrelieved.“Thisisademandingjob,roundtheclock.Ifearthathavingafamilywouldimpedeyourabilitytoservemeproperly.”
Inodded.“Fullyabletoserve,sir.”
Iwasanindenturedservantworkingoffafivegoldcoindebt.Itwasn’tlikemyfamilycouldmoveherewithmeanyway.
Iclearedmythroat.“Howdoesthepaywork?”
Hedippedhishead,lookingmorecomfortable,asiftalkingofmoneydidn’tbotherhim.“Ipayyourdebttodaytothetrader.Thenyouworkoffagoldcoinayear.”
Fiveyears.Itwouldtakemefiveyearstoworkoffthreemonths’worthofmedicineformyaunt.Angerroiledthroughme.Notathimbutatthechemistwho’dchargedsomuchforthelife-savingmedication.
“Howmuchisyourdebt?”heasked.
Isighed.“Fivegoldcoins.”
Hedidn’tlookshocked.Maybepeoplecameherewithhigherdebtsandworkedtheirwholelivesforhim,butIwantedmyownlife.Iwasgratefulfortheposition,butworkingfiveyearsheretastingfoodforpoisonandhelpinghimcourtawifewasn’texactlymypassion.I’dbetwenty-fouryearsoldwhenIlefthere.Toooldtotrytobecomeadoctor?
“You’redisappointedwiththefive-yearassignment?”Hiseyesnarrowed;therewasadistrustthere.Icouldn’tfathomwhy.It’snotlikeIcouldlietotheguy.
“Alittlesurprisedatthelengthoftimetopaymydebt,”Isaidhonestly.“Ihadhopedtobecomeadoctor…Ileftuniversityforthis,andI’mexcitedtogobacktoschool.”Irubbedthebackofmyneckandwinced,forgettingthepainthetraderhadcausedearlier.
Dawningunderstandingshoneinhiseyes,andthenalittlepity.“Wedon’tstudymedicinehereliketheydoinNightfall,butyoucanshadowmeonmyhealingroundsandaskafewquestionssolongastheyaren’ttoointrusiveanddistracting.”
Hopebubbledupinsideofme.“Mylord,thatwouldbewonderful.”
Allelveshadsomesortofhealingability,nomatterhowsmall,butithadtobetaughtandpracticedinordertobloom.BecauseI’dneverbloomed,mymagicwasallbutdead,butworkinginaninfirmaryinanycapacitywouldbeamazing
“Onemorething.”Hestood,steppedaroundthedeskandreachedout,brushinghishandacrossthebackofmyneck.Ashiverrandownmyspineandthepainthetraderhadcausedvanished.Raifewincedforasecondandthensatbackdown,pickingupthequillandscribblinganote.
Didhejusthealme?Withasingletouch?
“Uh,thanks,”Isaid.
“Youmayretiretoyourrooms,”hesaid,notlookingupfromhisparchment.“Getsettled.Iwillcallonyoufirstthinginthemorning.GivethistoMrs.Tirth.”Hehandedmetheletterhe’dscribbled.
Istood,understandingI’djustbeendismissed,andtookmypieceofparchmentwithme.
Personalassistanttotheking?
Score.
Mrs.Tirthwaswaitingformeoutsideoftheking’soffice.Ihandedhertheletterandshefrowned.
“Thisisn’ttheking’shandwriting,”shesaid.
Ilookedoverhershoulderandblushed.I’dgivenhermylistofjobduties.Snatchingitoutofherhands,Ihandedhertheletterthekinghadwritten.
Shescanneditquicklyandthenalookofsurprisepassedoverherface.“Newpersonalassistant.”
“Iknow.Ithoughtafterdroppingthetraderitmightgetmehanged.”
Mrs.Tirthshookherhead.“That’sprobablywhatgotyouthejob.”
Nowitwasmyturntolooksurprised.“Whatdoyoumean?”
Sheglancedbackattheofficeandloweredhervoicetoawhisper.“Thekinghatesthetraders.Andhelikesstrongwomen.Hewon’thavetoworryaboutyougettingkilledeasily.”
Whatanoddthingtosay.Ijustnodded.
“Doyouhaveanybelongings?”sheasked.
Ishookmyhead.“Debtorsdidn’tletmetakeanything.”
“Nomatter,aclothingallowance,meals,andfreeroomandboardareincludedinthejob.”
Thatwasarelief.
“Asapersonalassistanttoahigh-rankingroyal,youwillbeexpectedtodressthepart.Youarenowareflectionofhismonarchy.Nocotton.Onlysilkandchiffon.Lacetrimpreferred.You’llworkwiththepalaceseamstress,”Mrs.Tirthsaidaswetraversedthehalls.
Ilovedfancydresses.Youdidn’thavetotwistmyarmtowearsilkandlace
“Let’stalkaboutbehavior,”sheadded.“Asastaffmemberoftheking,youwillberequirednottodrinkwhileonthejob,andnocursingorotherwiseunladylikebehavior.”
Inodded.“Ofcourse.”
Therewasastorythere,areasonsheneededthatdisclaimer,andIwastemptedtoaskit.
Wepassedanotherlonghallwayandthenstoppedatasetofblacklacquereddoubledoors.
“WewilljustdotheVowofNoHarmandthenyoucansettleintoyourrooms.”Mrs.Tirthsmiledsweetly.
Oh.Yeah.I’dforgottenIhadagreedtothat.“Verywell.”
Reachingup,Mrs.Tirthrappedonthedoorwithherwrinkledfistandthenitopened.
IgaspedwhenIsawthekingbehindthedoor.
Whatthe…?Ipeeredovermyshoulder,wonderinghowhecouldhavelefthisofficeandbeatushere.Mymouthopened,thenclosed,thenopenedagain.
Hewinked.“Secrettunnels.”
ThatwinkdidsomethingtomyinsidesbutIbrusheditoff.Secrettunnels.Yes,thatmadesense.
Thekingbackedawayfromtheopeningandsteppeddeeperintotheroom,givingmeaviewofitforthefirsttime.
Wow.Ihadn’texpectedtoseecrystallightbeds!Myfatherspokeoftheminhisjournalsheleftbehindforme.ItwastheonlywayIcouldlearnabouthislifeinArchmereandwhatitwaslikegrowinguphere.Crystallightbedswerehealingandregenerative.ButsomehowIthoughttodaytheymighthaveadifferentpurpose.
Thekingwalkedovertoadarkblackbed,carvedfromatransparent,smoky-coloredstone,andlaydownflatinsideit.Thereweresixcrystalbedsinhere,pink,purple,andblack,twoofeach,largeenoughforagrownmantosleepin.Theroomfelttranquilandhealing,withwhitestonefloorsandlightpurplewallparchmentthathadspecksofgoldinit.
“Liedownintheotherblackcrystalbed,”Mrs.Tirthsaid,andgesturedtoit.
MyheartpoundedwildlyinmychestasIapproachedthebed.
Whatexactlydidthisvowentail?
Ithoughtitwouldbemoreofapledge,butnowIwasworriedtherewassomemagicinvolved.Ireallywantedthisjob,andIdidn’tintendtohurttheking,soIguessedI’djusthavetodealwithit.
Ilaybackinthebed,surprisedthatalthoughitwasharditwasn’tuncomfortable.Itmoldedtomybody.
ThemomentIfullylaidbackinit,itglowedadeepblackishpurple.
“Uhh,”Isaid.
“Perfectlynormal.”Mrs.Tirthhoveredoverme.“It’sjustsynchingupyoursandtheking’senergysignaturesforthevow.”
Synchingupourenergy?
Okay,justbreathe,Itoldmyself,tryingtocalmdown.Theyarehealingelves,it’snotlikethiscankillme.Right?
Mrs.Tirthglancedoverattheking,andhemusthaveseemedsatisfied,becausethenshelookeddownatme.
“Stateyourfullname,”shesaidinaseriousvoice.
Iletoutashakybreath.“KailaniRoseDulane.”
Mrs.Tirthpeeredatmewithanunwaveringgaze.“Doyou,KailaniRoseDulane,vowtoneverharmRaifeLightstone,KingoftheElves?”
“Ido,”Isaid,relievedthatthiswasmoreofaverbalvow.
Mrs.Tirththenkneeledsothatshewasrightbesideme,thepurplelightcastingcreepyshadowsacrossherface.“Doyouvowtoneverhelpintheplottingofhisharm,ortheharmofhismonarchy?Toneverseektoinjureevenahaironhisheadlestyousuffertheverysamefate.”
Herquestionsweremoreominousthistime,andtheblackish-purpleenergythathadbeenglowingaroundmybodynowtightenedtobandsandstartedtosqueezeme.
Sufferthesamefate?SoifIhurthim,Iwouldinturnbehurt?Thatwasmorethanavow,thatwasmagic.ButasIsaidbefore,Ihadnointentionofharmingtheking,andIwasfromNightfall,hisswornenemy,soIknewthatifIdidn’tdothishewouldn’ttrustme.
“Ivowit,”Isaidandthebandsreleased,thelightfaded,andMrs.Tirthstood,steppingawayasifallsuspicionofmycharacterwasforgiven.
Isatup,lookedatthekingwhowasnowstanding,andwonderedjustwhatintheHadesI’dgottenmyselfinto.TWO
ThenextmorningIwokeupwithpurpose.Iwasgoingtochangemyoutlook.Iwasn’tanindenturedservant,Iwasthehiredhandofaroyal.MycontractwasfiveyearsandthenIcouldpursuemycareerinmedicine.
Thiswasjustablipintheroadmapoflife.
Afterwashingup,Ifoundabeautifulsilklavender-coloredgownwaitingonthedressingbenchoutsidethewashroom.Slippingintoit,Ibraidedmylongbrownhairoveroneshoulderandappliedsomelightblushandlipstain.
Personalassistanttotheking.
Allmydaysofstudying,readingbooks,learninglanguages,tacklingchallengingmathematicsandthesciences,itwasallabouttopayoff.
Ipuffedmychestup.
TherewasaknockatthedoorandIwasgreetedbyMrs.Tirth.
Shelookedflustered,sweatbeadingherbrowandhairfallingfromherbun.“Youlookpretty,”shetoldme.
“Thanks.”Ismiled.
Sheexhaledasifcatchingherbreathandthenhandedmeapieceofparchment.“I’mlatefororientationforthenewhiredhelp.Hereistheking’sschedulefortheweekandmeetingnotesfromlastweek.Youaretobriefhimoflastweek’smeetingbeforehegoesinsoherememberswhatwastalkedabout.”
Inodded.Howbusydidsomeonehavetobeinordertoforgetwhattheyspokeaboutjustaweekago?
“Thekingishungry.Youmusttastethefood.Come!”shebarked,andthentookoffdownthehall.
Foodtaster.Ialmostforgot.
Ifinishedstrappingmyrightheelinthesilversandalandthentookoffatabriskpaceafterher.Aswerushedtothekitchens,Iskimmedtheschedule.
Farmers’Unionmeeting.
ElderCouncilmeeting.
Prospectivewivesfamilymeeting.
Hospitalrounds.
BowMenmeeting.
Lunch.
TreasurerTaxmeeting.
LandSurveymeeting.
MiningUnionmeeting.
Dinner.
Ifelttiredjustlookingatthelistofmeetings.MyheadspunasIimaginedhowmuchinformationwouldbecrammedintothem.Ihopedthekinghadatypewriter,butbythelookofthequillandparchmentonhisdeskyesterday,Idoubtedit.Myhandwasgoingtohurtbyday’send.
ThehumansofNightfallexcelledinengineeringandmachinery.Inventionswereencouragedandthequeenpaidbonusesforusefulthings,butIknewoutsideofNightfallthosethingswerenotencouragedandsotheylived“behindthetimes,”aswelikedtosay.
Mrs.Tirthburstintothekitchen,wherethechefwaswaiting,lookingdownhisnoseatme.
“Kailani,thisisChefBrulier,”shesaid.
Hetookonelookatmynicedressandbraidedhairandraisedaneyebrow.“Newtaster?”
“Fornow,untilthekingcangetsomeoneelse,”Mrs.Tirthexplained.
ThechefheldtheplateouttomeandItookit,eyeingthedeliciousmeatpiesliceandfruitcompote.
“HowmuchdoIeat?”IaskedMrs.Tirth.
“Alargebite,buttrynottodisturbthefoodtoomuch.Itmuststillbepresentable.Ifyounoticeanythingbitterorfoul,speakup.Ifyoufeelsick,dizzy,oroffinanyway,saysomethingimmediately.”
Nervesrolledthroughmystomach.Iwasabouttotastefoodforpoison.Suddenlymyjobdidn’tlooksorosy.Thoughitcouldbeworse.Icouldbewashingdisheslikethegirlatthebackofthekitchens.Irememberedherfromyesterday,theoneIhadconversedwith.We’dnevereventradednames.
Takingthefork,Idugunderthebeautifulbrownedtopcrustandpokedalargehunkofmeatandpotatoesdrippingwithgravy.Iwascarefulnottodisturbthetopcrust,butImadeapointtocutintothebottomcrust.IfthecrustwerepoisonedI’dhavetosampleittosee.
Placingthefoodintomymouth,Ichewedslowly.Aburstofflavorsplashedacrossmytongue,peppery,creamy,anddelicious.
“Yummm,”Imoaned,andthechefperkedup,lookingpleased.
“Bitterness?Throatburning?Dizziness?Stomachcramping?”Mrs.Tirthasked
Ishookmyheadandthenshepointedtothefruitcompote.
Iwashandedafreshforkandgrabbedasizablechunkofmelondrippingwithhoney.Ipoppeditintomymouthandchewed.SugarygoodnessfilledmymouthandIwaitedforanytasteofbitterness,buttherewasnone.
Mrs.Tirthconsultedapocketwatch.“Onemoreminute.”
Ithitmethen—They’rewaitingoneminutetoseeifI’vebeenpoisoned
MyheartpickedupasItoowaitedforanysymptoms.Afteramoment,shelookedmeover.“Good?”
Inodded,givingherathumbs-up.
“Youaretoservehimtheplate.Ifawaiterdoesit,youhavetotasteitagain,”Mrs.Tirthsaid.
Wow.Thisguywasparanoid.Iknewmostkingsandqueenswere,butthiswasnextlevel.Inodded,grabbingtheplate,andthenMrs.Tirthpointedtotwodoubledoors.“Briefhimforthefirstmeetingoverbreakfast.Andgoodluck!I’vegottorun,”shesaid,andthentookoff,leavingmeholdingaplateofpoisonlessfoodandthestackofnotesfromlastweek’smeeting.
Walkingacrossthebusykitchen,Inearedthedoubledoorsandawaiteropeneditforme.Hewasholdingaplatealmostidenticaltomine.
Raifewassittingattheheadofanextravaganttablejustinsideoftheroom.Alone.
Ieyedthewaitersuspiciously.
“Ihavetheking’sfood,”Isaidloudlyandforcefully.Whydidhehaveanidenticalplate?Washegoingtoswitchthemlastminute?WasIgoingtofoilanassassinationplotonmyveryfirstday?
Thewaiternodded.“AndIhaveyours.”
HeatcreptupmycheeksandImutteredanapology,steppingintotheroom.
“Goodmorning,mylord,”Igreetedtheking,whowaslookingoversomeparchments.
Hestaredupatme,hiseyesslowlyrakingovermydressinawaythatcausedevenmoreheattocreepupmycheeks.
Thewaiterplacedmyplateinfrontoftheseatnexttothekingandleft.
IsetdowntheplateIheldinfrontofRaife.“Nobittertasteandnosicknesshavebefallenme,”Itoldthekingbeforesittingbesidehim.
Henodded,leaningforwardtosmellthefoodslowly.Astherealm’smostpowerfulhealer,Iknewhecouldsmellmostpoisons,butIalsoknewtherewereahandfulofodorlessones.
“Didyouthinkthewaiterwastryingtopoisonme?”heaskedsuddenly,andIswallowedhard,knowingIcouldn’tlietohim.
Great,he’doverheardme.
“Yes.I’msorryifIoffendedhim.Ijust—”
“Don’teverapologizefortryingtoprotectme.Idon’tcarewhoyouoffendintheprocess.”
Oh,well,thatwasrefreshing.
Inodded,andhepickeduphisfork,staringathisplate.
Igrabbedmineaswell,havingenoughpropermannerstoknowthatIneededtowaitforthekingtoeatfirst.Helooked…nervous.
Didhefearthefoodwasn’tsafe?“Mylord,areyouokay?”
Maybeitwasn’trightofmetoasksuchapersonalquestion,butheseemedtobelostinhismindrightnow,frozenwiththeforkoverhisplatelikeamanstricken.
Hereleasedabreath,shakinghimselfslightly.Piercingapieceofthefruit,hepoppeditintohismouthandchewed.Irelaxedalittle,takingabiteofmyownfood.
“I’msureyouknowthattheNightfallqueenkilledmyentirefamily?”HisquestionwassobluntIactuallygasped,notpreparedforit.
Whywashebringingthatupnow?Overbreakfast.Isetmyforkdownandmethiseyes.“Yes,mylord.Everyoneknows.”
Henodded.“Doyouknowhowshedidit?”
Iwinced.Ofcoursenot.Nooneaskedforsuchadetailwhentheyfoundoutthatanentireroyalfamilyhadbeenslaughtered.AllI’dheardwasthatthequeenhadtakenthemalloutandleftonlyone.Him
Hetookadeepbreathandlookedathisfoodoncemore.“Poison.Shepoisonedthemallinfrontofme.”
Myentirebodyfroze.Icouldn’tmove,didn’tbreathe.
Thekingpiercedapieceoffruitandplaceditinhismouthandchewedrobotically.“Idon’tenjoymealtimes.It’ssomethingyoushouldknowaboutme.”
Icouldfeeltearswellinginmyeyes,butIdidn’tthinkhewouldappreciatemypity,soIblinkedthembackandnodded.Hewatchedthemalldieofpoison?Clutchingtheirthroatsastheirstomachsburned?I’dheardhisyoungestsiblingwassixyearsoldatthetime.Itmademesick.AfewtearsspilledoverontomycheeksnomatterhowbadlyItriedtokeepthemheldback.
Thekingwatchedme,sayingnothingasIprocessedhispainasifitweremyown.
Hecockedhisheadslightlytotheside.“Doyoucryeasily?”
Embarrassmentflushedthroughme.Iwouldn’tsaythat,Iwastough,but…sometimesifsomeonewasinpainIcouldn’thelpbutsympathize.
“I’msorry,mylord.”Iwipedmycheeks.
Hestood,tooktwostepsuntilhewasloomingoverme,andthenbentdownuntilhewasrightbesidemyface.Awaveofsadnesscreptintomyheart,nearlycrushingme,andIgasped.Hegaspedaswell,andthenstumbledbackwards.Iturnedtofacehim.Hiseyeswerewideandhewasclutchinghischest.
“What’swrong?”Iasked.Thiscasualbusinessbreakfasthadtakenanunexpectedturn.
“You’rean…empath,”hestated,steppingfartherawayfromme,andmysadnessanddespairfadedwitheverystep.
“Awh-what?”MyheadfinallyclearedandIwasabletofocusonthenowandnotthinkofthehauntingmemoryofhisdyingfamily.
Hisbrowsknottedtogetherandhesteppedcloseragain,thistimecomingrightupagainstmesothathisrightarmbrushedagainstmyleft.
Mysharpintakeofbreathmatchedhis.Guilt,sorrow,agony,anger,revenge,somanyemotionswarredwithinme,threateningtoeatmealive.ButwhenIstaredupatthekingIsaw…peace.Helookedlikehecouldbreatheforthefirsttime.Acontentedsighescapedhimasmystomachtiedintoknotswithallofthissuddenemotion.
“Iforgotwhatitfeltlike,”hesaidwistfully.
IwassoconfusedIcouldonlybreathethroughwhateverwashappening.
Thedoorstothedininghallopenedthenandhestumbledbackwardsawayfromme,takingfourhugestepstocreatedistance.
“TheFarmers’Unionhasassembledinthemeetinghall,”ayoungBowMansaid.
Raifeclearedhisthroat.“Thankyou,Cahal.”
Thekingsatatthetableandbegantoeatagain,lettingoutashakybreathbetweenbites.“Briefmeonthismeeting,”hesaidasifhehadn’tjustwalkedoveranddownloadedallofhissadnessintome.
Iwantedtolaugh,IwantedtoaskhimwhattheHadesanempathwas,butIalsowasn’tsureIwasreadyforthatinformation.Allthewheelswereturninginmyheadnow.Thetimesmyaunt’sseizureswouldcomeonandIjustknewamomentbeforeandcouldpositionmyselfbehindher.Whenpassingthetowndrunksmymindfelthazy.TherageIfeltwhenneartheboxingmatches.
I—
“Kailani?”Thekinglookedatmesternly.
Isnappedoutofmythoughtsandpickedupthemeetingnotesfromlastweek.“I’msorry,mylord.TheFarmers’UnionisdemandingyoudivertmorewaterfromtheGreatRiver,whichcontradictswiththeElvishLandSurveyCouncil.Theysayitwillaffectthefishandotherregions.Theyrecommendboringaholeandbuildingawellinstead.”
Henodded.“Costandlengthoftimetoborethewell?”
Iscannedthenotes.“Tengoldcoinsand…threemonths’time.”
Threemonthsbyhand.YoucouldboreawellinadaywithamachineinNightfall,butIdidn’tsaythat.Tengoldcoinsseemedlikewaytoomuch,butIkeptmymouthshutaboutthattoo.
Hiseyesnarrowed.“Tengoldcoinsforthreemonths’work?”
Iinclinedmyhead.“Ialsofeelitisexcessive,mylord.”ConsideringIwasmakingonegoldcoinayearastheking’sassistant.
“Findmoreinformationonthewelldigger.Thecrown’scoinpursewillnotbleedforthefarmersnomatterhowmuchtheythreatenlowcropyield,”hesnapped.
“Yes,mylord.”Ijotteddownato-dolist.
Infoonwelldigger.
Getmoreestimates?
Heplacedonelastbiteoffoodinhismouthandthenstood.“Verywell,let’sgo.”
Ipoppedameloncubeinmymouthandgatheredmythings,followingthekingasheledusoutoftheroom.
***
Allthroughthefarmers’meeting,Ikeptthinkingofonlyonething.
Empath.Empath.Empath.
Didhemeanitcasuallyorasathing?Wasanempathathing?Anelfthing?Amagicthing?
“Kailani?”KingRaifelookedatmeandIblushed.Ineverzonedoutlikethis;itwasembarrassing.
“I’msorry,mylord.Yes?”Ikeptmyvoicepleasantandmypenpoisedontheparchment.
Theleadfarmer,Mr.Wilco,noddedtome.“Iwasjustsayinghowniceitwastomeetyou.”
Ibowedmyheadslightly.“Andyou,sir.Ilookforwardtoournextmeeting.”
Hestoodandtheotherhalfdozenfarmersstoodwithhim,seeingthemselvesout.
Iimmediatelyturnedtotheking.“I’msosorry,sir.IhopeIdidn’tembarrassyou.Thatwon’thappenagain.”
Ididnotwanttogetfiredonmyfirstdayandthenberelegatedtowashingdishesforfiveyears.Orprobablyten,sincethatjobmostlikelypaidmuchless.
Henodded.“Itbetternot,becausemycouncilisnext,andthereissomethingyoushouldknowaboutthem.”
Iphysicallyflinchedalittleattheverbalreprimandbutdippedmychin.“Whatisit?”
Heleanedinclosely,loweringhisvoice.“TheyhavebeenthreateningfortwoyearstooverthrowmeifIdonotmarryandstartafamily.”
Shocksurgedupinsideofme.“That’streason,”Igrowled.
HeappraisedmysharpresponsewithinterestandIfoundmyselfstudyinghisfaceatthiscloseofadistance.I’dknownthismanalloftwenty-fourhoursandyetIfeltlikeI’dknownhimlonger.Itwashardtoexplain.Therewasaneaseinhispresence,somethingcomfortableandfamiliar.
HisfacelookedmuchlikeoneprintedinourNightfallhistorybooks,butmoremanly.Thosewereafewyearsoldwhenhestillhadsomeboyishnesstohisfeatures.ThestrongjawInowpeeredat,theshadowofabeardandfullsoftlips,thearrestingblueeyes,wereallman.
“Normally,itwouldbetreasonyes,butthereisaclauseinourfoundinglaws.”Hepulledmefrommythoughts.“Iftheentireroyalfamilyiskilled,orcannot,ordoesnot,havechildrenbyacertainage,thenthecouncilcanunanimouslyvotethemoutandthenvoteinanewfour-personquorum.”
Aquorum?Endthemonarchy?Itwasawildidea.EveryterritoryinAvalierhadakingorqueen.Icouldn’timagineanythingelse.Eitheryouwerebornwithroyalbloodoryouweren’t.
Inodded.“Soyoureallydoneedmyhelpfindingawife.”Ipulledoutafreshpieceofparchment.
Helookedwistfullyoutthewindowasiftheideaofhavingawifesaddenedhim.
“Butyoudon’twantthat,doyou?”MaybeitwasanoverstepbutIcouldn’thelpit.IfIwasgoingtofindhimawife,Ishouldknowwhyhedidn’twantone.Hewasovertwentywintersold!Thatwasancientinroyalterms.Heshouldbemarriedwithtwoorthreeheirsbynow.
Heswallowedhard,andthenlookedatmewithanexpressionthatmadechillsriseuponmyarms.“WhywouldIwanttofallinloveandbringchildrenintothisworldjustsothattheNightfallqueencankillthemtoo?”
HiswordsslicedthroughmyheartsofiercelythatIfeltaphysicalache.Imusthavewincedinpain,becauseheleanedbackwardsandawayfromme.
“ButImustmarryifIamtokeepmypositionasking,soyouwillhavetohelpmefindsomeonetolerable,”headded.
“Butnottoolovable?”Iasked.HislookwasawarningandIimmediatelyloweredmyhead.“I’msorry,mylord.”
“Oncethecouncilisoffmyass,Icanplanthewartotakedownthequeen.”
Ifroze.“OverthrowtheNightfallqueen?”
Henodded,lookingpleasedwithhimself,asiftheactwouldbringhimgreatjoy.Iwassureitwould,butitwasalsothemostdangerousthingI’deverheard.
“Noonegetsnearherunlessthey’veservedinherarmyforatleastfiveyears.She’sgotcontraptionsandgadgetsthatmakeherhavepowersakintothemagicusersintherealm.Mylord,she’suntouchable.”
Heappraisedmewithpride.“AnditseemsIhavechosenthebestassistanttohelpadvisemeinmattersofthequeen.”
Ithitmethen.Oneofthefirstthingshe’dtoldme:“YougrewupinNightfallunderthequeensrule.”
“That’swhyyouhiredme?”Itriedtohidethehurtinmyvoice.I’dthoughtitwasmaybetheorganicchemistryorthefactthatI’dkickedthattrader’sassandimpressedhim.
Heinclinedhishead.“Mostly,yes.You’rethebestcandidateforthejob.”
Isimplynodded,feelingstupidforhavingthoughtthathemighthavebeenimpressedwithmyotherqualities.Itdidn’treallymatteranyway.Iwaspayingoffmydebtandhewasadecentman.Hedidn’tseemlikehewouldbeatmeoranything,andIwasn’twashingdishes,soallinallIwasstillcountingthisawin.
ThemeetinghalldoorsopenedthenandIturnedinthatdirection.Fourtallmaleelvesenteredtheroomandboweddeeplytotheking.
“Youmaybeseated,”thekingtoldthem.
TheireyesflickedtomeandIgavethemasmallsmile,whichwasnotreturned.Theyallsatwithstiffpostureandclaspedhands.Theiragesvariedfromthirtytosixtyyearsold,andasIlookedcloserIcouldtellonepairwerefatherandson.Thetwomenhadblackhair,thoughonewasfeatheredwithgray,andbothhadthesamehookednose.Theothertwoelveswerebothbrunettes.Allofthemhadthetypicallonghairstylewithbraidedsides.
“Council,thisisKailaniDulane,mynewpersonalassistant,”thekingsaidandgesturedtome.“Kailani,thisisHaig,Aron,Greylin,andFoxworth.”Hepointedtoeachone.
Theeldest,Haig,theblack-hairedonewithgrayrunningthrough,raisedaneyebrow.“Iwasn’tawareJoanawasleaving.Wewouldhavehelpedyouinyoursearchforanewstaffmember,”hesaid.
Thekingleanedbackcasuallyinhischair.“Iwasn’tawareIneededtotellyoutheinsandoutsofmyprivatestaff,Haig.NorthatIneededhelphiringstaff.”
Theman’sjawgritatthereprimand.“Youdonot,YourHighness.Itwassimplyanoffertohelpmakesureyouhadthehighestcalibercandidatepossible.”
Hisgazeflickedovertomeandhisnostrilsflared.HewassmellingmeandIsuddenlyfeltuncomfortable.
“Halfhuman?”Haiglookedaffrontedatwhathe’dscented.“Canyoureallytrustahumanonyourstaff?”
Thekinggroanedasifhewasalreadytiredofthisquestion.“She’stakenaprotectionvow.I’mnotanidiot!”
HaigreeledbackatthesnapandIkeptquiet.
Haig’sson,Aron,theonewholookedjustlikehimbutyounger,staredatthequillinmyhand.“Shecanreadandwrite?”Hesoundedsurprised.
Okay,I’dhadquiteenoughofthis.
“Yes,shecan,”IsaidinOldElvish.“Inthreedifferentlanguages,”IfinishedinNewElvish.
Thekinggrinnedandthecouncillookedflusteredatthisturnofevents.AlongsilencestretchedoutandIclearedmythroat.“ThekinghasinformedmeofhisexcitementattakingawifeandIameagertohelp,”Ilied,whichcausedtheking’sgrintofall.HeknewI’djustliedbutIwashopingthecouncildidn’t.Thekingwasanythingbuteager
Haignodded.“Yes.Awifeandheirsareoftheutmostimportancenow.”
“Unlessofcoursehenolongerwantstorule,whichiswhyhe’sdelayedtakingawife?”Foxworthsaid.Irememberedhimbythenervouseyeblinkinghekeptdoing.
Theking’seyesnarrowed.“Iameagertoshutyouallup.”
Ouch.Thekingwaskindahotwhenhewaslayingasmackdownonhiscouncil.
Haigclearedhisthroatandpulledafoldedletterfromhisrobes,handingittotheking.“AlistofadozenofthemostinfluentialfamiliesinElfCity.”Haignodded.“Theirdaughtersareallsingle,clearedforbreeding,andeagertomeetyou.”
Ichokedonmyownspitatclearedforbreeding,coughingandsmackingmychestwildly.ThekinglookedmildlyconcernedbutIwavedhimoffandtookasipofwater.
“Apologies,”Isaid.
Thekingopenedtheletterandglanceddownatitbrieflybeforehandingittome.
Thenameslookedfamiliar.Frowning,Iflippedtothescheduleofmeetingstoday.RightafterthisconferencewehadonecalledtheProspectivewivesfamilymeeting.Theattendees’nameswerethesame.
“Mylord,wehaveameetingwiththesefamiliesnext,”Itoldhim.
Helookedsurprised,butthencoveredit.
Haignodded.“Itookthelibertyofinvitingtheirparentstoaroundtable.Theycantellyouabouttheirdaughtersandyoucanpickthetopfivetoinvitetoajointdinner.”
Myeyeswidened.“Dinneralltogether?”
Haiglookeddownhiscrookednoseatme.“Yes,intheinterestoftime.Whatwouldyouknowaboutcourtingaqueen?”
Itwasachallenge;he’dbeenrudetomesincethesecondhewalkedinhere.Ineededtonipitinthebudnoworhe’dforeverthinkmeapushover.MygazeflickedtoKingRaife,andhenoddedtheslightestbitasifsayinggoget‘em
IshruggedtoHaignonchalantly.“OhIdon’tknow,consideringI’mtheonlyoneinthisroomwithbreasts,IguessIknowmorethananyofyou.”
NowitwasKingRaife’sturntochokeonhisownspit.Itsoundedlikealaughwhichgavewaytoacough.
EvenstuffyoldFoxworthcrackedagrin.I’dgainedtherespectofoneofthem,IguessedIcouldn’taskformore.
Haigopenedhismouthtorebukewhenthekingspoke:“It’ssettled,then.Fivedifferentdinnerdates.Gettingtoknoweachwomanseparately.Iwouldn’twantmyfuturewifetofeelasifIchoseherinthesamewayIchoosemycattle.”
Igaveatriumphantnod,makingameetingnoteandignoringtheicyglarefromHaig.
IwantedwhicheverwomanRaifechosetohaveafairshotatwinninghisheart.Shedeserveddinnerwiththekingalone.
Haigstood,promptingtheotherstostandaswell.“Iwantanengagementbynextmonth.Wehavecounseledyousinceyouwereanewkingatthetenderageoffourteen.Thisiswhat’sbestforallofArchmereandyouknowit.Nomoremessingaround!”Haigpoundedhisfistonthetableandthentheyallleft.
Myeyebrowsrose,andwhenthedoorclosedIlookedoverattheking.“IftheytalkedtotheNightfallqueenlikethat,she’dbeheadthem.”
Hegavemeacoolstare.“I’mnottheNightfallqueen,andIknowtheyseemdisrespectfulandovercontrolling,butyouhavetounderstandIbecameakingbeforeIcouldevengrowabeard.They’veallbecomesomewhatoffatherfiguresandunclestome.”
Myheartpinchedthen,andIsawthewholethinginanewlight.Haigwasliketheoverbearingfatherwhoforcedyoutodowhatwasgoodforyou,evenifyouhatedit.
Inodded.“Well,timetomeetthefamiliesandpickourtopfive.Thiscouldbefun.”Itriedtolightenthemood.“Whatkindofthingsareyouinto?Icantrytomatchsomeonewithcommoninterests.Youdon’twanttobestuckwithsomeoneforeverwhohatesreadingifyouloveit.Orwhotalkstoomuchifyoulikequiettime,”Isaid.
Helookedatmeandchuckled.“Ilikequiettimeandyoutalktoomuch.”
ItwasplayfulsoIlaughed.“Well,itisagoodthingIamnotintherunningtobeyourwife.Whatelse?”
Heshrugged.“IlikechesswhenIhavetime.Archeryofcourse.Finecuisine.Reading.Walkingthroughthelilygardens,andmostofallhealingmypatients.”
I’dheardonlyrumors,buttheelfkinghadanentireinfirmaryerectedinhisnameandwasthegreatesthealerinalltherealm.I’dlovetoseehimworkwithhispatients,andhopedthatwasstillpartofthejobdescriptionsincehe’dallbutpromisedittomeifIstayedoutoftheway.
Ijotteditalldown.
Quiettime.
Chess.
Archery.
Gardens.
Food.
Reading.
Healing.
“Whataboutlooks?Areyouintoblondes?Redheads?Tall?Athletic?”Iasked
Thekingraisedaneyebrowandhisgazetraveleddownfromthetipofmynosetomycleavageandbackup.“Prettyispretty,Idon’tcarewhatcolorpackageitcomesin,”hesaid,andIfeltmycheeksheat.
Okay…
Pretty,Iaddedtomylist,andthentherewasaknockatthedoor.
“Enter,”thekingsaid.
Aservantenteredwithacartofpastriesandtea,andrightbehindhimMrs.Tirthwearinghercrisphousemaiduniform.“Mylord,IintroduceyoutoMissAgathaTrulin,motherofGertieTrulin.”
Alithefaewithwildcurlyblondhairandasweepinggoldcloakenteredandcurtsieddeeply.“YourHighness,itistrulyapleasure.”
Shesatdownatthetableandwasservedteaandgivenacookie.
Anothermotherentered,whowasalsointroducedbyMrs.Tirth,andIstartedtotakenotes.
AgathaTrulin—Gertie’smother.Curlyblondhair.
BillieGillhard—Bronwyn’smother.Longnails.
Whenalldozenwomenhadbeenseatedatthetable,itwasofficiallyfull.Thekingintroducedmeashisnewpersonalassistantandallthewomensmiledkindlyatme.Whenthewaitergottome,heservedmetwocupsofteaandtwocookies.Ittookmeamomenttounderstandwhy.
Oh.Foodtaster.
AsthekingmadeboringsmalltalkwiththehighbornmothersofElfCity,Isippedhisteaandwaited.Heartpalpations?Headache?Stomachcramps?Nope,nope,nope.IwatchedmypocketwatchasRaifecastworriedglancesmyway.
Howmuchanxietyitmustcausehimateverymeal,wonderingifthequeenwouldcomebacktofinishhimoff.
Afterafulltwominutes,Ifelttotallyfineandeversocasuallyslidtheteaovertotheking.HestaredatitwarilywhileInibbledonthecookie.
It’sokay,Iwantedtotellhim.It’ssafe.Butyoucouldseetheconcerninhisfaceashepulledthecuptohislipsandthenlookedatme.Igavehimanencouragingsmileandhedrank.AfterI’dtastedthecookie,whichwasdeliciousbecausealmondwasmyfavorite,Igavethattohimaswellandthenfocusedonthewomen.
“Mydaughter,Gertie,lovestoreadandgarden.She’salsoamasterarcher,”Agathastated.
IputastarnexttoGertie’sname.Soundedlikeagoodfitoffthebat.KingRaifemetmyeyesinagreement.
“WouldyousayyourdaughterGertieisastrongandsilenttype,orasocialbutterfly?”Iaskedher,myquillpoisedovertheparchment.
Sheswallowedhard,lookingdownatmyparchment,whichIkeptatananglesothatonlythekingandIcouldseeit.
“Shecanbeboth,”Agathasaiddiplomatically.
Inodded,givingherasmile.Itmustbehardtobecalledintoaroomwithabunchofothermothers—allofthemtryingtogettheirdaughtertobethenextqueen.
“MyBronwynisquiteshy,Imustsay.Shealsolikesreadingandwillplaychessforhoursuntilyoupullheraway.Shewontheladies’classictournamentlastyear.”
“Iheardthat,”thekingsaid,“Congratulations,youmustbeveryproud.”
Iplacedastarnexttohernameaswell.Themeetingwentonwitheachmothergivingalittlesnippetofinformationabouttheirdaughterandrespectfullyallowingtheotherstospeak.Iwassurprisedatthecivilityhere.Nospeakingovertheotherortryingtotearanother’sdaughterdown.Iwasalsosurprisedthedaughtersthemselveswerenothere.Itmustbethecustom.
“Didanyofyoubringapicture?”Iasked,andthenimmediatelycursedmyself.BoxcameraswereahumanNightfallthing.“Oraportrait?”
Thewomennoddedtheirheadsexcitedlyandonebyonepulledsmalleight-to-ten-inchhandpaintedportraitsfromtheirsatchels.TheartisansofElfCitywerethebestintherealm.Theirpaintingswereamazing,andthatwasshowntruehere.
Iglancedatthematthesametimethekingdid.“Theyareallsobeautiful,”thekingsaiddiplomatically.
IwishedIcouldhaveamomenttoconferwiththekingonwhichoneshethoughttheprettiest,butinsteadImadeheartsnexttothenamesoftheonesIthoughtthemoststunning.Helookedatmyparchmentandnoddedtome.
Iwasjustabouttoaskanotherquestionwhenthedoorburstopen,startlingusall.Awomanwhoworethewhiterobesofahealerlookedtotheking.Shewasspeckledwithbitsofblood.“Mylord,I’msorry,it’sjustthatoneofyourpatients—”
Hestoodsofastthechairknockedoverandthenhefledfromtheroom,followingherwithoutanotherword.
“Thankyouallforcoming.Theking’spatientsaresoimportanttohim.Wewillbeintouchaboutdinnerdatesforsomeofyourdaughters,”Isaidtoeveryoneandstood,runningaftertheking.
Ihadtoboltdownthehallwaytocatchupwiththem.
“Whoisit?”KingRaifewasaskingthehealeraswejoggedatfullspeeddownthehall.
“Corleenaa,”shesaid,andtheking’sfacefell.
Hecursed.“Thebleedingisback?Itmakesnosense!”
Iriffledthroughthenotesforourinfirmaryrounds,andstoppedonthenameCorleenaaYahmeen.
CorleenaaYahmeen.
Age:six.
Bleedingdisorderofunknowncause.
WeranacrossthepalacelawnatbreakneckspeedovertoagiantbrickbuildingIassumedwastheinfirmary.MysandalstrapcutintomyheelbutIignoredit.Ifasix-year-oldwasbleedingout,itwasn’tworthcaringaboutfootpain.WepassedtheinfirmarysignandIbarelynoticedthename.
RaifeLightstoneHealingInfirmary.
Weburstintoabusyintakeroomandthendownahallway,toasetofdoubledoorsmarkedOperatingTheatre.Iknewthatthiswouldbenothinglikeourhumanoperatingrooms,butanelvinonefullofwandsandcrystalsandlight.
“Stayhereorgototheviewingroom,”Raifesaidtome,andmyheartfell.
“Yes,lord,”Iobeyed.I’dwantedtobeadoctoraftermyschooling;Iwasn’tsqueamishwithblood,orthesick,buthedidn’tknowthat.IveeredtotherightandthenfollowedthesignthatreadOperatingTheatreViewingRoom
Ipushedopenthedoubledoorsandwasimmediatelyconfrontedwithaweepingwoman.Shewasinherearlythirties,andamanaboutthesameageclungtoher,holdinghertightlyashestaredstony-facedatawallofglass.
Istiffened,guiltwormingthroughmeatintrudingontheirmomentjusttowatchthekingoperate.Theymustbethegirl’sparents.
Thewomanlookedupatme,herchinshaking.“Whoareyou?”
Ibowedslightly.“KingLightstone’snewpersonalassistant.Ithoughttheroomwasempty.I’llleaveyou—”
BeforeIcouldfinish,sheleftherhusband’ssideandgraspedmyhand,pullingmeintotheroom.
“Makerblesstheking!He’shere?”Shedraggedmeovertothefarwall,whichwasmadepurelyofglass.NowthatIwasclosertoher,Iwasoverwhelmedwithastrongsmellofsweetblackberrysyrup.Blackberryjamwasmyfavoritecandyasachildanditinstantlymademenostalgic.
AswesteppedclosertotheglassInoticedthatIwasgivenaperfectviewoftheoperatingroom.Mygazeflickedaroundthespace,takingitallin.
UnlikethehumanoperatingroomswehadatNightfall,therewerenogadgetsorbladesormachinestryingtokeepsomeonealive.Therewasjustanurse,anelvinwand,andalotofblood.
ThelittlegirlCorleenawasasmallelf,andherpalefacewasrolledtotheside,hereyesclosedasifsheweresleeping,butblooddribbledoutofthecornersofherlipsandontothefloor.I’dneverseenanelvishchild;herlittleearswerepointyandadorableandherfacewaslikeaporcelaindoll.Herwhitehairwaslonglikehermother’s,andintwobraidsthathungdownthesidesofthetable.Herbodysuddenlyjerked,hermouthopenedandshevomitedmoreblood.
Hermotherfelltoherkneesbesideme,lettinggoofmyhand,andthat’swhenKingRaifeenteredtheroom.Heworeawhitephysicianscoatandbarkedanorderatthenursewiththehealingwand.
Atthesightoftheking,themotherpressedherhandsandfacetothewindowandstareddownatherdyinglittlegirl.Iwasrootedtothespot,unsurehowthekingcoulddoanythinginthisdireofasituation.Thatbloodneededcauterizationorstitchesorsomething,andyetIsawnotoolstodoso.AlthoughIwashalfelvish,Iknewnothingofelvinhealingotherthanitwasmagical.I’dreadafewbooksonitbutneverseenitinperson.Myfatherwasanartisantradersellinghealing-infusedpendantsandotherthingsacrosstherealm.Hisjournaldidn’tcoverhealingsofthisnature.IfIhadknownhowtoheal,I’dhavehealedmyauntyearsago.
Iwaitedforthekingtoblastherwithlightorsomething,buthesimplykneltbesideherandplacedhishandslightlyonhertummy.Takingadeepbreathin,purplelightemanatedsoftlyfromhispalmandhecoughed,asmallsprayofblooddottinghischin.
Igasped,lookingaroundinalarm,butthemotherstood,givingmeahopefulgaze.Thekingwinced,doublingoverandreleasingthegirlashegrabbedhismidsection.
Ifroze,watchinghimwide-eyedasIprocessedwhatIwasseeing.Nooneelseseemedalarmedbytheking’sgraveappearance,includingthenurse,soIwatchedon.Suddenlythelittlegirl’seyesblinkedopenandshelookedaroundtheroom.
“Mommy?”shesaid,allpalenessgonefromher.Ahealthypinknessshoneonhercheeksasshelookedaroundfranticallyforhermother.Themotherboltedfromtheviewingroomwiththefather,leavingmetomythoughts.
Didtheking…didhetakeonherillnessandthenhealitwithinhimself?Ifso,thatwasverydangerous.
ThelittlegirlreachedforRaife,graspinghisfingersashestood.Hefroze,staringdownatherwithacompassionthatmeltedmyheart.Hetrulylovedhispatients.Watchinghimwithhercausedsomethingtoblossominsidemychest.Itwasaweirdfeeling,nothingI’deverfeltbefore.ItconfusedmesoIpusheditaside.
KingRaifespoketotheparentsbrieflyandthenlefttheroom.Iscurriedoutoftheviewinghalltomeethimbackattheentrancetotheoperatingtheatre.
Thesecondhesteppedout,Irusheduptohim.“Areyouokay?”Mygazefelltothesplatterofbloodonhischin.Heseemedtonoticeandreachedupandwipedit,hishandshakingslightly.
“Itkeepshappening.Itdoesn’tmakesense.Idon’tfeelachronicbleedingissue.Itisacute,”hemumbled,ignoringme.
Corleena,hewasstillstuckonhercaseevenasIwasaskingabouthim
“Youhealedher.ItwasthemostamazingthingI’veeverseen,”Itoldhim
Helookedupatmewithworryinhisgaze.“It’sthefourthtimeI’vehealedherofinternalbleeding.IfIdon’tfindthecauseImightnotgetherefastenoughnexttime.Theyliveonalargeblackberryfarmanhour’shorserideaway.”
Aheavinessfelloverourconversation.Itexplainedwhythemothersmelledofblackberrysyrup.Sheprobablygrewandmadeitfromscratch.Iloweredmyvoice,leaningintotheking.“Youdon’tthinktheparentswould…havedonethistoheronpurpose?”Ifeltawfulforevensuggestingit,butfourtimeswasalot.
Hesighed,andatthisclosenessIfelttheuneaseandworryrollthroughhimandintome,soIsteppedbackafoot.
“Iconsidereditofcourse,buttheyarealwayssoworriedforher.Themotherseemstofallapartintearsandthenthefatherisingenuineshock.Hecarriedherlimponhorsebacktheentireway.Ijustdon’tseethat.”
Inodded;itwasunfairofmetosuggestit.Themotherseemedmorethangenuine,andinshockwasexactlyhowIwoulddescribethefather.
OhhowIhatedsomethingunsolved.Mymindwouldchewonthisforhours.
“CouldIgetasampleofherblood?Beforeshegoes?”Iasked.
Hisbrowfurrowed.“Wedon’thaveanyofyourfancyhumangadgetshere,andthereisnothinginherbloodIwouldnotsmell.”Helookedoffended.
Irelented,nodding.Iwasthinkingsometypeofpoisonoraclottingissue,butshewassix,andthatwouldhavebeenpresentatbirth.
“Youhavetoletitgo.”Hesighedandreacheduptorubthebridgeofhisnose.“I’vebeenoverthiscasehundredsoftimesinmyhead.ThereisnothingthatstandsoutotherthanshesmellsofblackberrieseverytimeIseeher,whichisn’tunusualconsideringtheyownablackberryfarm.Ihaveotherpatientstosee.Comeon.”
Heturnedandfleddownthehall,leavingmetomythoughts.
Afterdoingaroundofhispatientsandcheckingonthemorhealingtheirwounds,wemadeourwaybacktothecastletotheBowMenmeeting.
TheBowMenweretheelfking’sloyalelitearmyknownforbeingsoundlesswhenwalking,anddeadlywithanarrow.Themeetingwasabriefrundownofthecity’sdefenses,andmyintroductiontothetopfourcommandersonhisforce.
Cahal,Ares,Tanin,andArok.
Webrokeforlunch,inwhichItastedallthefoodfirst,andthenwewerethrustintoanotherthreemeetings.Ataxmeeting,landsurveymeeting,andtheminingcouncil.ThesemeetingswerethemostboringthingsI’deverhadtositthrough.IalmostwishedIwaswashingdishes.Inthefinalminutesoftheminingcouncilmeeting,Ilookedtothekingtocatchhimnoddingoff,soIusedmyankletokickhimawakeslightly.
“Okay,IthinkIhaveahandleonthesituation.Thankyou,”KingRaifesaidtotheminingcouncilandstood.
OhthanktheMaker!
Istoodaswell.“Wewillbeintouchaboutthelaborshortageissue,”Itoldthemkindly.
TheybowedtheirheadsdeeplyasthekingandIleft.
Mystomachrumbledaswewalkeddownthehallwaytotheking’sprivatedininghall,causingmetoblushnervously.
“I’mfamished,”Iexclaimed.
Hislipcurledinamusement.“Whatdidyouthinkofyourfirstday?Honestly.”
Honestly—asifIcouldlietohim.IthoughtitwaskindofcutehewantedtoknowwhatIthoughtofthejob.“Ilikeit.Itkeepsmybrainactive.Thetaxandlandstuffareboring,butwhatjobdoesn’thavesomesnoozetimes?Thefoodtastingthingstillfreaksmeout.Ikeepwaitingtofeelill—oh,andIcan’tstopthinkingaboutCorleenaandhowyouhealedher.”Isaiditallinarush,completelyforgettingIwastalkingtomyboss,thekingoftheentireelfrace.Hewasso…personable,andhumble,andeasytobearound.
HemadeanoiseinhisthroatIcouldn’tquitedecipher.Ahmmorhrphm
“Oh,andyourcouncilisreallynotfun,”Iadded.
Thatcausedhimtobellylaugh,andawarmthtrickleddownmybody.
Imadethekinglaugh.ItwasasoundIlikedhearingfromhim.
“Idon’tthinkfunisintheirjobdescription,”headded.“AndyouhavetoletCorleenagooritwillkeepyouupallnight.Steponeofhealingistokeepyourselfhealthy.Youcannotpourfromanemptyvessel.”
Ifrowned.“Iknow,butwhatif—?”
“Andyou’renotahealer,”headdedsharply.
Ibitmytongueasweenteredthediningroom.Twoplatesoffoodsattherewithdomedsteellids.
“Maybeit’shardformetoletgobecauseI’manempath?”Iaskedcoolly.
Hestiffened.Iwantedtoknowwhatthatmeant,whatourwholeinteractionatbreakfastwasallabout.
“Afteryoutastemyfood,youmayeatyoursinthekitchens,”hesaidsuddenly.“I’dliketobealonetonight.Ihavemuchtothinkaboutafterthedayfullofmeetings.”
Ipusheddownthesenseofrejectionandnodded.ItwaslikeI’dbeenslapped.Thekinghadsomemoodswings,thatwasforsure.
“Yes,lord.”Liftingthelidonhisplate,mymouthwateredasIstaredatthemeatandpotatostewwithabutteredroll,andgreenbeanstoppedwithsliveredalmonds.Therewasevenasliceofsweetpotatopie.Pickinguponeofthethreeforks,Itookahunkofmeatandpotatofromthestewandpoppeditintomymouth.Amoanofpleasureescapedme.
“Yourchefisseriouslyamazing.Youshouldgivehimaraise,”Isaid.
Hewatchedmeintensely.“ShouldI?”
Ipoppedanalmondcoveredgreenbeaninmymouthandmoaned,thenIsettheforkdownandgrabbedacleanone,cuttingintothesweetpotatopie.
“Makerhavemercyonmysoul,”Icooedasthesweetmaplesyrupsplashedacrossmytongue.
Theking’seyesboredintomesodeeplythenthatIstraightenedalittle,wonderingifIwasdoingsomethingwrong.
“Andtheroll?”Iasked,clearingmythroat.
Heswallowedhardandnodded.Itoreoffasmallpieceandchewedit,makingnonoiseforfearIwasbreakingsomeroyalprotocol.Ihadmanners,butprobablynotnoblemanners.
“Iwouldliketoenjoyfoodasmuchasyoudo,”hesaidwistfully,andmystomachdropped.
Hefearedeverymealwouldbepoisoned?Whatanawfulwaytolive.“Mylord,doyoureallythinkQueenZaphirawouldtrythatagain?”Itwasaseriousquestion.Iknewthequeenactivelywantedtowipeoutallofthemagicalraces,especiallytheirkings,buttopoisonagain?Itseemedtooobvious.
Hiseyesnarrowed,andhestaredatmelikeIwasacompletesimpleton.“WhydoyouthinkIaminneedofanewtaster?”
Ifroze,thehairsonmyarmsraising.“Theotheroneisgettingmarried?”Ihedged.
Helookedatmepointblank.“Thatwasmyassistant.Myformertasterisdead.OnceayearsinceIwascrowned,QueenZaphiratriestokillme.Ineverknowwhenit’scomingsoitalwayskeepsmeinanactivestateofworry,whichI’msureisherintention.Alwaysaflavorless,scentlesspoisonthatIcannotdetectuntilmytasterisdead.”
PureterrorgrippedmeandIswayedonmyfeet,swallowinghard.“Are…areyounotabletohealthem?”
Hesighed.“Poisonisatrickythingtoheal.Ihavetotakeenoughintomyselftofilterandallowtheotherperson’shealingtokickin,butnotsomuchthatImyselfbecomeill.Impossibletodoblindlywithascentless,tastelesspoison.Whateversheisusingisn’tsomethingwegrowhere.”
AndjustlikethatIwantedtobeassignedtodishwashing.
“Sir,Irecommendwefindanewtastetesterimmediately.”
Hechuckled,andthenjustlookedsad.“Asyoucanimagine,notmanywantthejob,butI’llkeeplooking.”
Zaphirawasstillactivelytryingtopoisonhimafterkeepinghimaliveallthoseyearsago?Thatwassomeseriouslypsychoticbehavior.
“Feelingokay?Iamquitehungry,”heasked.Icheckedmypocketwatch.IthadbeentwominutesandIfeltfineotherthanthesenseofimpendingdoompressinginonme.
“I’mfine.Enjoyyourmeal,sir.”Icurtsied,takingmyplateandleavinghimbe.
AsIreachedthedoorhecalledouttome:“Kailani?Whenwe’realoneyoucancallmeRaife.”
Ismiled,tryingtoseethatasagoodthing,butallIcouldthinkaboutwasthatI’dtakenafive-yearjobpostthatImightnotevenliveayeartosee.FirstthingtomorrowIwasinterviewingfornewtasters.THREE
Mymindwasaninsatiablething,andwhenIgaveitsomethingtochewonthatitcouldn’tfigureout,itdidn’trest.
Ilayawakeintheearlymorninghours,unabletosleepallnight.ItossedandturnedthinkingofCorleena.BlackberriesVomitingblood.Whydidthosethingsfeelconnected?Theyshouldn’t,blackberriesdidn’tmakeyouvomitblood.Iftheydid,themotherandfatherwouldbetoo.
Idecidedtogetupearlyforthedayandhitthelibrary.Maybesomethingintherecouldhelpmesolvethisriddle.Idressedinapalepinkchiffongownwiththebackcutout,andbraidedmyhairdownmyback,applyingsomepinklipstaintofinishthelook.Ilikedthestatusthetitleofmynewjobgaveme,anddressingthepartforitwasimportantandfun.Everydayanewdressarrivedfromtheseamstressinabeautifulcolororpatternandfitmybodylikeaglove.Itwasanylittlegirl’sdream.
Overthenexthour,asthesunbegantorise,Iporedoverbooks.Thepalacelibrarianwasn’thereyetbutIwassurewe’dbecomefastfriendseventually.Readingwasmyfavoritepastime.Idugintoherbology,poisons,horticulture,bleedingdisorders.ItwasonlywhenIflippedtoachaptercalledinvasivespeciesthatmyentirebodywentrigid.
CorliaMortifiaor“nightlockberries”areinvasivetoArchmereandgrowonlyinNightfall.TheseberrieslookandsmellsimilartoArchmerianblackberriesbutcauseinternalbleedinginchildrenandmildstomachcrampinginadults.
Itwaslikemysoulleftmybodyinthatmoment;theshockofthistruthrangthroughoutmybeing.Theparentsweren’tpoisoningher.Shewasdoingthatherself!Shemustbeeatingberriesfromthefieldthatweren’tblackberries.
WithoutanotherthoughtIburstfromwhereI’dbeensittinginareadingchairandranacrossthesmalllibrary,bookopenedinmyhandstothepageaboutthenightlockberries.
Ibarelyrememberedwheretheking’sprivatesleepquarterswerewhenhe’dtoldme,butluckilyIhadamap.Pullingitout,Iconsultedthegiantpalacefloorplanandheadedinthedirectionofhisprivatewing.WhenIgottothegiantdoubledoorsofhisroom,InoticedaBowManoneitherside.TheygrippedtheirweaponsasIapproached,whichwasridiculousconsideringI’djustmettheminthemeetingyesterday.Cahal,thegiantonewithreddishhairandabeard,andAres,thedark-skinnedonewithdreamyeyes,lookedatmesuspiciouslyasifmybookwouldknockthemoutorsomething.
“Ineedtospeakwiththeking.It’surgent!”Itoldthem,andrushedforwardtoknockonthedoor.Theyheldouttheirarmstostopme,andthensqueezedtogethertoblockmyway.
“He’snottobedisturbed,”Cahalsaid.
“Thisislifeordeath!”Iscreamed.“Ifyoudon’tletmeknockonthisdoor,alittlegirlmightdieandthenIwill—”
Thedoorwrenchedopenandthemenmovedoutoftheway,headsdown.Myeyesfellonthetautmusclesofthetuniclessking.Hishairwasfullydown,scatteredaroundhisshoulders,andhistrouserswerehanginghalfwayoffhiships,barelytied.
HolyMakerofallthingsbeautiful.
Hisskindrapedovertautmuscle;notanounceoffatgracedhistrim,chiseledbody.
SomeonemovedintheroombehindhimandIstartledtoseeawomanwithblondhairstreakpastbehindhimandintoawashroom.Shewasfullydressedandlookedlikeshewascrying,whichwasweird.
Oh.Oh.
Thekingisnottobedisturbed.NowIknewwhy.HeatcreptupmycheeksasIrealizedI’djustinterruptedhimbeddingawoman.
“Kailani,whatitis?”Hisvoicewasgruffandthickwithsleep…orarousalfromtheobviouslovemakingI’djustdisturbed.
Maker,killmenow.
Icouldn’tfindmywords,soinsteadIhandedhimthebook,pageopentothenightlockberries.Iwatchedashiseyeswidenedthemoreheread.AgrowlrumbledinhisthroatandthenhelookedatoneofhisBowMen.“Cahal,saddlethehorses.We’regoingtoBriarRidge.”
Withoutanotherword,hisleadBowMantookofflikeastalliondownthehallway.
ThenRaifelookedatme,seeminglyforthefirsttime.Hisgazeranthelengthofmypinkgownandthenbackup,eyeshooding.“Youridehorses?”
Ijustnodded,stillunabletospeak.IwasafraidifIdidsaysomethingitwouldbegibberish,orworse—I’dtellhimhowamazinghelookedhalfnaked.
“Meetmeinthestables,”hesaid,handingmethebookbackandthenshutthedoorinmyface,breakingtheholdhispecshadoverme.
MychestwasheavingasIlookedsidewaysatthesingleBowManwhonowguardedthedoor.Ares.IfheknewIwasblushing,hesaidnothingaboutit.Atrueprofessional.
PushingallthoughtsofwhatI’djustwitnessedoutofmymind,Iconsultedmymapandthenrushedoutofthecastleandtothestables.Iwassurprisedtoseethekingwasalreadythere.Hemusthaveasecondexittohisroomoranundergroundtunnelorsomething.
Amediumsizedwhitefemalehorsewasalreadysaddledandwaitingforme.InNightfallwehadmostlymotorizedhorselesscarriages,negatingtheneedforhorses,butI’dstilllearnedtorideforsport.Hookingmylegintothestirrup,Ihoistedmyselfupontothemareandsatsidesaddle,fanningoutmydress.
“Wehavetogettherebeforesheeatsanymoreoftheseberries,”Raifesaid,andInoddedinagreement.
***
WerodefastandhardthroughtheearlymorningtothesmallfarmvillageofBriarRidge.Iwasn’tusedtoridingforsolong.Mybuttwasnumbandmylegsfeltbruisedbythetimewearrived.Thesunwasjustpeekingoverthecloudsaswepulledourhorsesuptoasmallbluefarmhousewithathatchedroof.Thesuncastilluminatedshaftsoflightoverfieldsofblackberriesthatspannedoutasfarastheeyecouldsee.
Irecognizedthemotherimmediately,herwhitehairflowingbehindher.Shewasmilkingagoatininanopenfield,andmusthavejustnoticedus.Shestoppedwhatshewasdoingandstood,settingherbucketdownassherealizedshehadguests.Wipingherhandsonherapron,sheranovertogreetus.
“Mylord.”Shefellintoadeepcurtsy.“Is…everythingokay?”
Shewasnodoubtwonderingwhythekingoftheelveswashere.Wedismountedandthefrontdoortothefarmhouseopened.Corleena’sfatherwalkedouttogreetusaswell.
“Myking.Wedidn’tknowtoexpectavisit,”thefathersaid,droppingtoonekneeanddippinghisheadinthedeepestbowpossible.Atruesignofhumilityandrespectintheelvinkingdom.InNightfall,onewouldgofullyflatonthefloortogainthequeen’sutmostrespect.
Thekinglaunchedrightintotheheartofthematter.“Myassistantmayhavefoundwhat’sbeenmakingCorleenasosick.”
Themotherwentrigid,graspingherapronandlookedupatme.“Whatisit?”
“Whereisshe?”Iasked,prayingshehadn’teatenanyoftheberriesinthelasttwelvehourssinceI’dlastseenher.
“She’sinthefields,probablyeatingberr—”
Itookofflikearocket,liftingmyelegantdresstorunfortheblackberryfields.“Corleena!”Ishoutedhernameinpanic.
“Corleena!”theking’svoicecamefrombehindme.Hermotherandfatherhadnoideawhatwashappeningbuttheybegantoscreamhernameinpanictoo.Theyclearlycaughtonthatthiswasaserioussituation.
Ihitthedenselypackedrowsofblackberriesandslowed,myheartracing.Whatifshewaspassedout,bleedinginthisveryfield?Whatifweweretoolate?
“I’mhere!”asmallvoicecalledtomyleft.
Ipivoted,turningandfollowingthatvoice,cominguponherwithahandfulofblackberriesinherhand,onewasraisedtohermouth.
Whenshesawme,shefrownedinsurprise,andIreachedout,lightlysmackingthefruitfromherhand.
“Don’teatthose!”Itoldher.
TearsfilledhereyesandIinstantlyfeltbadforscaringher.
“What’sgoingon?”Hermother,theking,andherfatherranupbehindmeandstopped.
Ipulledthebookfrommycloakpocketandopenedit,handingittothemother,spreadtothepageaboutthenightlockberries.
“Wethinkshe’sfoundsomeoftheseandbeeneatingtheminsteadofthetrueblackberries,”Isaid.
Corleenarantoherparents,clingingtohermother’sside.Iwatchedashermother’seyeswidened.Thefatherreadoverhiswife’sshoulder,mouthopeninginshock.Hespunfromthebook,lookingatthebushesaroundus.Hebegantoscrutinizethem,thenpulledafewoffandinspectedthem.Hemovedtoanotherbush,pullingoffaleafandaberry,bringingittohisnose.
Hiseyeswentwideashedroppedthemfromhishands.“Thesearen’tblackberries.”Hepointedtothebushtohisright.“Thoseare.”Hethengesturedtotheleft.Heshookhishead.“MyfamilyhasbeengrowingtheberriesforfivegenerationsI…Idon’tunderstandhowIdidn’tknow.”
Thekingnodded.“Youdidn’tthinktolooktooclosely,it’sunderstandable.Haveyoumassharvestedyet?Startedmakinganysyrup?”
Thefarmershookhishead.“Pickingseasonjuststarted,sonotmany.ThanktheMaker.Justafewlocals.”
“I’llneedalistofwhotheyaresomystaffcancheckonthemandwarnthem,”thekingsaid.
Theybothnodded.“Ofcourse.”ThewifelookedneartearsandkeptholdingtightlytolittleCorleena.
Thefathersuddenlyappearedstricken.“Thefields…we’llhavetoburnthemandstartovertobesafe.”
Myheartfellintomystomach.Theirhomewashumble,theirclothingworn;theydidnotlooklikethekindofpeoplewhocouldeasilymissawholeseasonofincomeandstartover.
Thekinginclinedhishead.“IhavereasontobelievethiswasaninvasivespeciesplantedbytheNightfallqueen.Therefore,itismyresponsibilitytotakecareofit.I’llpayyouforthisseason’sberriesandcoverthecostofburningthefieldsandplantinganewlotnextyear.”
Themothergraspedherchest,tearsrollingdownhercheeks,butthefarmershookhishead.“Myking,Icouldnotacceptthat.Notafterwhatyou’vedonetosaveCorleena’slife.It’stoomuch.”
ThewifesmackedhimlightlyinthebackoftheheadandIhadtohideagrin
“Myhusbandisaproudman,”thewifeexplained.“Wehumblyacceptyouroffer,mylord,andnextseasonwewillbemorewatchfulnowthatweknowwhattolookfor.We’llspreadthewordtootherfarmerstoo.”
Raifenodded.“Verywell.Mycastletreasurerwillbeintouch.”HethenbentdowntoCorleena’slevel.“MissCorleena,haveyoueatenanyofthoseberrieslastnightortoday?”
Shenodded.“Justone.”
Raifereachedoutandplacedhishandonhershoulder.Apurpleglowemanatedfromhispalm,andforasplitsecondIsawablacknesstraveluptheveinofhiswristandintohisbody.Hereleasedherandwincedslightly.
ThemotherreachedoutandheldtightlytoCorleena,shakingherhead.“Wedidn’tknow.Howcouldwenothaveknown?”
Myheartfeltforthisfamily.Tobefarmingblackberriesforsolongandnotrealizeafakewasinyourmidst.Evennow,Ilookedatthetwodifferentbushesthatthefarmerhadpointedtoandcouldbarelyseeadifference.Thepointsoftheleavesonthefakesappearedatinybitrounder,theberriesabitplumper,butitwasnearlyimpossibletotellthedifferencebetweenthem.
Thekingstraightened.“Wellthen,Ithinkyou’regoingtobejustfinenow.”
AfteranotherfiveminutesofthewifeandfarmerprofuselythankingthekingandI,wefinallymountedourhorses.
Iwincedasmysoremusclesgroundintothehardsaddle.
Raifenoticed.“Hurt?”
Iblushed.“Notusedtoriding.”
HelookedatmeforlongerthanwassociallyappropriateandIclearedmythroat.
“Yousavedherlife,Kailani.EvenafterIgaveupandtoldyoutoputhercaseoutofyourhead.Youshouldbereallyproud…”
Itwasasiftheairchargedaroundus.Icouldfeelitasatangibleforce.
“I’mproud,”headded.
Proud.Hewasproudofme?
Itwasasillythingtosay,somethingateachersaidtoastudentorafathertoachild,andyetitunlockedsomethinginsideofme.Itwarmedmyheartandmademechokeupalittle.Ihadn’treallythoughtofitassavingherlife,butwe’dcaughthereatingtheberriesandso…IguessedIdid.
“It’ssomethinganyonewoulddo.Ifyouhavethechancetosavealife,youshouldsaveit.”
Hechuckled,displayinghishandsomesmile.“It’snotalwaysthateasy.”HewasstaringatmyforeheadandIwonderediftherewasabugonitorsomething.“Yourmindworksinabeautifulway,that’swhyshe’shealed,”hesaid.
Didhejustcallmymindbeautiful?Becausethatwasdoingwarmthingstomyinsides.
“Haveyoueverheardofthehealingcaves?”heasked.
“No.”
Hekickedhishorseandthentookoff,Cahalfollowingafterhim,andthenmyselfamomentlater,wincingasmybuttpoundedthehardsaddle.
Notanotherwordwasspoken.WerodeforanhourinadirectionIdidn’trecognize,andIwasreadytopropuponmyfeettogivemybacksidearestwhenthekingpulledhishorseuptothebaseofalargemountain.Cahaltieduphishorseandwenttothemouthofacave,disappearinginside.
Iraisedoneeyebrowatthekingandhedismounted,lookingupatme.“Comeon.”
Isortoflovedhowinformalwe’dbecomeoverthewhoppingthreedayswe’dknowneachother.ItwouldbeexhaustingtoYes,mylord,No,YourHighnesseverysentenceforthenextfiveyears.
Islippedoffmyhorsejustasanoldelvinwomansteppedoutofthecaveswithatowelwrappedaroundher.
Wereweatthehealingcaveshe’dmentioned?
Theoldwomansawthekingandboweddeeplybeforescurryingoffsomestonepaththatledawayfromthecaveopening.Ipeeredpastherandnoticedavillagejustbeyondit.
Cahalcameoutandnoddedtohim.“It’sallclearnow,mylord,”hesaid.
Mymouthpoppedopen.“Didyoujustkickthatsweetelderlyladyoutsoyoucouldgoin?”
Raifegavemeamischievousgrin.“Shecouldbeanelderlyassassin.”
Imovedtoplayfullyslaphisshoulderbutthenthoughtbetterofit.
“Thevillagebenefitsfromuseofthehealingpools.EachtimeIgoinIleaveaheftydonation.”Raifegesturedtoasmallstonebowlbytheopeningofthecave.Itheldcopperandsilvercoins,evenafewbottlesofhoney.Thekingplacedastackofsilvercoinsinsideandthensteppedthroughtheopening.
Iswallowedhard,lookingbackatCahaltoseewhathewasdoing.Hestoodlikeasentinelonthesideofthedoor,anarrownockedinhisbow.
“AmIsupposedtogoin?”IwhisperedtoCahal.
“Kailani,”thekingbeckoned,andIchargedforwardintothedarkness,unsurewhatIwouldfind.
Afterstumblinginthedarkafewfeetandthenturningacorner,Inoticedabrightlightahead,whichoutlinedtheking’sbody.HedisappearedfromviewandthenIwalkedintoanopencavernousspace.
“HolyMaker,”Igasped,aftermovingintothehiddenoasis.
Thetopofthecavewasactuallyopentotheoutside,sosunlightshonedownontotheturquoiseliquid.Astreamofwatertrickleddownthesidesofthemountainrock,fillingthepoolbelow.
“It’sincredible.”TherewasasplashtomyleftandIstartled,turningtoseethekingpokehisheadupoutofthewater.Hewaswithouthistunicbutwearinghistrousers;thewaterwascrystalclearandIcouldevenseehisbaretoes.Ahugesighescapedhimasheslowlytreadedwater.
“TheonlyplaceIcanheal,”hemuttered.
Ifrowned.“Whatdoyoumean?”
Helookedmybodyupanddown.Heatcreptintomycheekseverytimehedidthat—whichwasoftenIwasnoticing.“Comein.”
Iblushed.Iwaswearingabeautifulandexpensivesilkgown.TherewasnowayIwasgettinginthewaterwiththison,andwearingjustmyundergarmentswouldbeinappropriate.Theywerewhiteandtotallysee-throughwhenwet.
“Youcanwearmytunic,”hesaid,andthenturnedtogivemehisback.“Trustme.Youwon’tfeelanypainridinghomeafteradipinthesepools.”
Wouldithealmysorebutt?NowIwascurious,andthatgotmemoving.UnlacingthebackofmydressIslippedoutofitandfoldeditontotherocknearby.Ilookeduptomakesurehewasstillturnedandpaddedovertohisdarktunic,slippingitovermyheadtocovermysmallbraletteandcreamundershorts.
“O-okay,”Itoldhim,andthendippedmyfeetintothewater,sittingattheedge.AsmalltingleworkeditswayupmylegsandIsighed.“Ohwow.”Itwasliketheweightmybodynormallyfeltfromcarryingmyownskinandbonesaroundalldayhadleft.Ijustfelt…nothing.
“Comeallthewayin.”Hewassuddenlybeforemeasmylegsdangledovertheedge,andIchewedonmylip.
“I…neverlearnedtoswimanditlooksdeep.”
Reachingup,asifitwasnobigdeal,hehookedhishandsundermyarmpitsandploppedmeintothewaterbeforehim.“I’vegotyou.”
I’vegotyou.
Thosethreewordsdidsomethingtome.TheyworkedtheirwayintomysoulandIwasstartingtogetreallyconfusedabouthowIfeltaboutmynewboss.Iswallowedhard,atthesametimetryingtotreadwaterandalsoexperiencetheutteranddeeprelaxationthewatersprovided.Hishandsleftmyarmpitsandwenttomywrists,keepingmeabovewaterasmyfeetkickedaroundabitfrantically.
“Don’tworry.Iwon’tletyoudrown,”hetoldme.
Beingthisclosetohim,tothoseblueeyesandhislongblondhair,histuniclessbody,Iinstantlywonderedwhatitwouldbeliketobedhim.Ialsowonderedwhohe’dbeenbeddingthismorningwhenIinterruptedhim.MaybehewasaserialseducerjusthopingtobedmecasuallyoverthenextfiveyearsIworkedforhimwhilehealsobeddedhalfofthecastle!Allwhilemarried!
“Whatareyouthinkingrightnow?”heasked,eyesnarrowing.
OhMaker,tellmehecan’treadmythoughts.
“I’mwonderingwhyyousaidthepoolsaretheonlythingthatcanhealyou,”Ilied.
HiseyesnarrowedfurtherattheliebutIdidn’tcare.Awomanwasentitledtoherownthoughts!
“I’mthegreatesthealerintherealm.Thereisnoonewhocanmatchmypower.That’showelvinhealingworks.Someoneinferiortoyourhealingpowercannothealyou.It’swhyI’mbroughtintothehardestcasesandthesmalleronesareleftwiththelesscapablehealerswhostillneedwands.”
I’dseenthehealingwandsandwonderedwhyhedidn’tuseone.Iguessedhedidn’tneedto.
Ifrowned,treadingwatermoreslowlynowthatIknewIwasn’tgoingtodroptothebottomofhoweverdeepthispoolwent.
“Soifyoufellill?Apalacehealercouldn’thelpyou?”Iasked.
Heshookhishead.“Idon’tevenhaveapalacehealerforthatreason.Ifmystafffallsill,Ihealthem.”
Shockrippedthroughme.“Ididn’tknowthat.Isthatwellknown?”
Heeyedmecuriously.“No,Iprobablyshouldn’thavetoldyouthat.”
Thatstungalittle,butIknewwhathemeant.
“How’syourbackside?”heasked.“Stillsore?”
Itwasn’t.Ifeltamazing,truthbetold.“No,butyoucouldhavehealedit,”Itoldhim.
Hesmirked.“Wouldyouhaveletme?”
No.No,Iwouldn’thave.IwouldhavesaidIwasfineandthensuffered.Heknewthat?SuchlittletimetogetherandalreadyheknewhowIworked?Wasthatwhyhecamehere?Forme?Surelynot,surelyforhimselfaswell.
“Itdidn’thurtthatbad,”Ilied,andthenregrettedit,forgettinghecouldtell.
Heshookhishead.“Twolies.ShallIstartkeepingcount?Wemightrackupquiteafewoverthenextfiveyears.”
Isighed.“Sometimesliesaregood.Youdon’twanttoknowwhatIwasthinkingearlier.”
Thatintriguedhim;aneyebrowraisedandhislipscurled.“Oh,Imostcertainlydo.”
Okay,hewantedthetruth,hecouldhaveit.
“Iwaswonderingaboutthewomanyoubeddedthismorningandifyoudidthatoftentomanywomen,”Isaidboldly.“Ifyouweregoingtogetmarriedandcontinuetodoit.”
HisAdam’sapplebobbed.“You’reright,someliesservetheirpurpose,”wasallhesaid.
Hewasn’tgoingtoanswermeandthatwasokay,hewasn’tentitledto.Iopenedmymouthtospeakwhenheclearedhisthroat.
“Iwouldneverbedanotherwhilemarried.DaraisafriendthatIhadanagreementwith,”hesaidplainly.
Abeddingagreement?Isuddenlywantedamalefriendwholookedlikehedidtohaveanagreementwith.
Had,hesaidhad
“Had?”Iraisedaneyebrow.
Hesighed.“I’mlookingforawifenow,sowhenDaracameintomyroomthismorningandwokeme,Itoldhertheagreementwasover.”
JealouslyflaredtolifeinsideofmesostronglyIwasshockedbyit.Shewokehimforsex?Thatmeantshehadaccesstohisroomanddidthatonaregularbasis.Thatalsomusthavebeenwhyshewascrying.OhhowIwishedIcouldsmellalie!
“Wouldyouliketointerrogatemefurtheraboutmyprivatelife?”heaskedstonily.
Oops.I’dforgottenIwastalkingtothekingoftheelves.Ididthatoften.Hejustseemedsonormal.
“So,”Iwentforachangeintopic,“wereyoualwaysthegreatesthealerofyourfamily?”Idivertedtohopefullyasafertopic,butinstantlyknewI’ddonewrongwhenIsawastormbrewinhisgaze.
Hades!WhydidIbringuphisdeadfamily?ItwasjustthefirstthingthatIthoughtofandIwastryingnottoaskhimanymoresexquestions.
“Iwasnot,”hesaidsoftly,lookingfaroffatthecavewallasiftrappedinamemory.“MysisterTriniwas,thenmyfather,thenme.”
Theroyalfamilyhadthemostpotenthealingbloodline.It’showtheybecameroyalinthefirstplace.
PainandsorrowslammedintomesoharshlythenthatIgasped.AvisionofdeadbodieslitteringthediningroomfloorwithwhitefoamcomingfromtheirmouthsflashedintomymindandIwhimpered.Theelvinking,thequeen,Raife’ssiblings,allwiththeirmoonlight-coloredhairandfancyclothing.Theylitteredanelegantdininghall,clutchingtheirthroatsasayoungRaifescreamed,shootingburstsofpurplehealingmagicateachofthem.Butitwasn’tenough,hewasn’tstrongenough,andthereweretoomany.Ifelthissanityslipawayasdarknesstookhim,andnowittookme.
Inthehealingpool,theking’shandsrippedawayfrommeandIimmediatelystartedtosink,thewatercominguptomyearsandthencoveringmyface.Ikickedmyfeetfranticallybutwasforcedtoholdmybreathasmyheadsubmerged.JustwhenIthoughtImightdrown,thekingdoveunderthewaterandgraspedmebythewaist,pullingmeupward.
Ibreachedthewaterandgaspedforair,coughing.
“Hades!”hecursed.“Iwasn’tthinking.I’msosorry,”hesaid,pressingmybodytohisasherappedonmybackandIsputteredforair.
“I’mfine,”Imuttered,myhearthammeringinmythroatasheheldmesmooshedagainsthim.Mybreastswerepressedagainsthischestwithonlyathinpieceofmaterialseparatingusandweseemedtorealizeitatthesametime.Hepushedmeawayfromhim,holdingmeatarm’slengthbutnotlettingmego.
HisfacelookedpanickedandIfelthisdisappointmentseepintome.“Youtrustedmeand…Inearlydrownyou.I’msorry,IwastryingtogiveyouspacebecauseIknewyouwerefeeling…myemotions.”
“It’sokay,”Itoldhimagainashedraggedustotheedgeoftherockgrotto.OnceIreachedit,Itoreawayfromhimandgrippedtheedgefordearlife,haulingmyselfupover.Ilayonmyback,pantingasmyfrazzlednervessettled
HepulledhimselfoutinoneelegantmoveandwenttostandbutIgraspedhiswrist,forcinghimtolookdownatme.
Whenhiseyesreachedmine,theyweresteelgray,thinnedtoslits.
“Tellmewhatitis.”Myvoiceshook.
Ididn’tneedtoexplain.Heknew.Ihadjustfeltwhathewasfeelingthroughtouch.Isawhisfamilydeadforasplitsecondinmymind.Thiswasn’tnormal.
Hesighed,removingmygripfromhis,andseatedhimselfnexttome.Isatup,turningtofacehim,anddecidedtostarehimdownuntilheunloadedtheentiretruth.
Hewatchedmeasifwonderinghowmuchtotellme.
“ThiswillbelikehelpingCorleenaforme,”Iwarned.“Iwon’trestuntilIknoweverything.Nobookaboutempathswillgountouchedinthelibrary.”
Ahalfcockedsmilepulledathislipsandmystomachdidasummersault.“Areyouthreateningtoreadallthebooksinmylibrary?”Heshookhimself.“I’mscared.”
Iscowledathimandhissmilefaltered.
“Empathsareextremelyrare,”hesaid.“Sorareinfactthatit’sbelievedonlyafewliveatanygiventime.Likeamagicalforcethattheworldcannothandletoomuchof.”
Chillsbrokeoutontomyarms.“Well,iftheyaresorare,howdoyouknowaboutthem?”
HiswholebodycollapsedinwardandIknewtheanswerwouldbepainful.“Becausemymotherwasone.”
Thebreathwasstolenfrommylungs.Evensittingafewinchesapartandnottouching,Ifeltthegrieffromhere.Helovedherthemost.Hewouldneveradmitthatoutloudbuthedid.Shewaseverythingtohim,hisprotectorandnurturer,hisinspiration.Thegriefwasall-consuming,cuttingintomyheartlikeaphysicalblow.Atearwobbledinmyvisionandspilledontomycheek;hemovedtoscootawayfrommebutIreachedouttostophim.“Letmetakeit.Evenifonlyforamoment,letmetakethepain,”Itoldhim.
HegazedupatmethenwithsuchaconfusedvulnerabilityIwasn’tpreparedforit.Itwaslikehewasbeggingmetotakeitbutdidn’twanttohurtme.Withoutoverthinkingit,Ileanedinandtookhimintomyarms,hugginghim.
Unbearablesadnessseepedintomethen,butthesighofreliefthatescapedhimmadeitallworthit.Ihadtobitedownthesobsthatwantedtoripfrommythroat.
So.Much.Guilt.Hefeltsoguiltyforbeingleftalive;itateathimeverysecondoftheday.He’dratherbedeadwiththemthanalivealone.Tearsfloweddownmycheeksunchecked,mythroathurtingfromtryingtokeepthewailinginsideofme.Iwantedtoscream,Iwantedtopoundmychest,Iwantedtomurdersomeone.Iwassofilledwithrage.
Lifewasn’tfair.Iwantedtodie.Howcouldonegoonlivinginadarkworldlikethiswheresix-year-oldswerepoisoned?
Itwasatthesedesperatethoughtsthatthekingpulledawayfrommeandclearedhisthroat.“Weshouldgetback.Ihavealotofmeetings.”Hestood,grabbedhisboots,andwalkedoutofthecave,takinghissadnesswithhimandleavingmeinatumultuousemotionalwhirlwind.
WhattheHadeshadjusthappened?
AsIpeeledoffhiswettunicandslippedintomydress,onethoughtstruckme.
He’ssomuchmorebrokenthanIthought.
***
Afterourlittleempathicexchange,thekingtotallyclosedofftome.Hebarelylookedatmeinourmeetingslaterthatday.AfterItastedhisfoodheaskedtodinealone,andnowhewasgettingreadytousherinhisfirstdinnerdate.
Yes,IwasashamedtoadmitthatwhileIwasthinkingofbeddinghiminthehealingpools,I’dforgottenIwasalsosupposedtobehelpinghimfindawife.
Aftertastinghisamazingdinner,Imovedtoleavethekitchenandreturntomyroomtoeatalone.
“MissKailani,youhavebeensummoned,”oneofthewaiterscalledtome.
Ifrowned,nodding,andthenenteredthedininghall.Thekingsummonedme?WasheworriedIhadn’ttastedthefood?
WhenIentered,mygazeimmediatelywenttothewomanwiththeredhairandoverlyshowycleavage.Irecognizedherfromthephotohermotherhadbrought.ShewastalkingloudlyandIhadtoforcemyselfnottocringeatherannoyinglaugh.
Bonnie
“Mylord,isthereaproblem?”IaskedRaife,andcurtsieddeeplyforgoodmeasure.
Helookedannoyed,allbutrollinghiseyes.“MissHarthropwouldlikeherfoodtastedaswell.”
Ifroze,myeyebrowsshootingup.
Bonnienodded.“Iamafterallanimportantpersonintheking’slife,andmaybesoonthemostimportantperson.Idon’twanttheNightfallqueentopoisonmeeither.”
SheshovedherplateovertomeandItriedtoconcealmyshockanddisgustforherover-importanceofself.
“Wewouldn’twantthat,”Isaiddryly.
Reachingouttooneoftheemptyplacesettings,Igrabbedacleanfork.Insteadofdoingmybestnottodisturbtofood,Istabbedthemiddleofthemeatandcheesepieandcameawaywithahugebite.Puttingitintomymouth,Imoaned.“It’sdivine.”
Bonniefrowned,lookingfrommetoRaife.Iglancedatthekingtofindhewasbarelysuppressingasmileatmydisplay.
“Therolltoo,”Itoldher.“Iheardthequeenlikestobakeherpoisonsin.”
Hereyesbuggedandshenodded,scootingtherollovertome.
Itoreitinhalf,takingalargebiteandrelishingtheflakinessofit.
“Butter?”sheasked,grabbingthesmallcubeofbutterfromherplate.
Itooktheentirething,musheditintomyotherbiteofrollanddownedit.
“Waterplease,”Iaskedher.“Thequeen’spoisonistasteless.”
BonniehandedmethewaterwithashakinghandandIdrankhalfthethinginonego.
AftersettingitdownIenduredanentireminuteofthescaredgirlwatchingmeandwaitingformetograbmystomach.Iwashalftemptedto,justtomesswithher,butwouldneverputthekingthroughthat.Notevenforajoke.
AftermywatchshowedIwasintheclear,Ireachedoutandpattedherarm.“Food’ssafe,mylady.”
SheallbutcollapsedintothechairandthenlookedatRaife.“Idon’tknowhowyoudothateverymeal!It’sfrightening.”
Ilookeddownatherplate.Itlookedlikeithadbeenmauledbyacatin,andIhadtokeepmyselffromsmiling.
“Goodnight.”Igraspedtheedgesofmydressandcurtsiedagain.
Thesteelgray-blueeyeswatchedmeallthewaybacktothekitchendoors.
Amerehourlater,Iwasabouttotakeabathwhenanoteslidundermydoor.
BonnieisaNo.
-Raife
Forsomereason,Ifelthappyabouthimimmediatelyrejectingher.Shewasannoying.Whocouldlivewiththatlaughforever!?
AsIwastryingtofallasleep,Icouldn’tgetoneimageoutofmyhead.Thedeadpeopleonthegroundwithfoamingmouths,Raife’sfamily.Justthinkingofit,andtheaccompanyingguiltthathadrushedthroughme,mademystomachchurn.Howlongcouldapersonlivewiththatguiltbeforeitconsumedthem?
ItwasalongtimebeforeIslept.FOUR
Thenextthreedayswerefullofmeetings,andhealingsattheinfirmary,andprivatedateswithRaife’stopfive.Eachandeverynightanoteslippedundermydoor.
Theyallsaidthesamething.Thegirl’snameandthewordNo
Tonightwasthelastgirl,thefinalnight.
LottieSherwood
Thecouncilhadjustleftthemeeting.Theirconcernthatthekinghadnotannouncedanengagementafterfourdateshadbeenevident.
Imovedtostandandleavetotastetheking’sdinnerbeforehisfinaldate,whenhelethisheaddropontothedeskwithaloudthud.
Igrinned.ThekingandIhadbecomefriendly,showinghispersonalitytomemoreandmore.Wedidn’tspeakofwhathadhappenedinthehealingcavesandthedeepemotionaltransferencewe’dsharedthere,buthe’dbeenmorerelaxedaroundme.
“Youlooklikeamanexcitedforadate,”Ijoked.“IthinkLottieSherwoodistheone.”
Heraisedhisheadtolookatme,aredmarkonhisforeheadfromwherethetablehadindentedit.“WhenIthinkofspendingtherestofmylifewithanyoneofthewomenI’vespentamerehourwith,Iwanttomeetanuntimelydeath.”
Isnort-laughedandthenclearedmythroattocoverit.“Mylord,theycan’thavebeenthatbad.”
Hegavemeaseriousglare.“Youhavenoidea.Cometonightandyou’llsee.She’llhavesomeflawthatIcan’tlivewith—thatyouwouldn’tbeabletoeither.”
Iraisedoneeyebrow.“You’reaskingmetocrashyourdate?”
Heshrugged.“Theyaren’treallydates.Gertiebroughtherfather.It’saformal,stuffything.Mebringingmyassistantwon’tbeaproblem.”
Attendtheking’sdatetofindawife?Thisfeltweird,butIwasalsointrigued,sonowayinHadeswasIsayingnotothat.
“I’llbethere,”Itoldhimandstood.
Henoddedandhiseyesranovermyredsilkdresswithblacklace.“Maybedressdownabit.Don’twanttomakeherjealous.”Hewinked.
Myentirebodywarmedathiscompliment.Itwasacompliment,right?
Ilaughednervously.“Ofcourse,mylord.”
Afteraslightcurtsy,Ilefttheroomandheadedformysleepingquarters.Dressdown.ThatmeantIwasdressedtoonicely,orjustthatImightshowherup?Allofmygownsweremadewithpalaceapproval—Iwastoldtodressthiswayastheking’srepresentative…
Washecallingmepretty?MymindwassofrazzledthatIwalkedpastmydoorandhadtocircleback.
Twentyminuteslater,Iworeanavy-bluesilkgownwithdramaticsleevesthatcoveredmyarmstomyelbows.Thefashionloverinmecouldn’tallowthisoutfittobetooboring,soIpairedthemwithlimegreenhigh-heeledshoes.Theclothingallowancethecrownprovidedmebasicallyallowedforanewdresseveryotherday.Iwasconstantlygoingtotheseamstresstobefittedorlookatnewfabrics.Itwasmyfavoritepartoftheweek.
Aftersteppingintothekitchen,anewchefgreetedme.
Ifrowned.“WhereisBrulier?”
“Hismotherfellsick.He’sgonetotraveltoWindingMeadowtovisither.He’llbebacknextweek.Youthetaster?”Heeyedmeupanddownwithscrutiny
Inodded,andhesettwoidenticalplatesoffoodbeforeme.I’dtakentotastingtheprospectivewives’foodaswell.Imightaswellgetusedtoit,sincenooneelsehadcomeforwardandappliedforthejob.Asthekingsaid,noonewantedatwelve-monthclockontheirlife.Itriednottothinkaboutit.
Diggingintothelargehunkofmeat,Icutoffasmallslicefromthecornerandateit.NextIgrabbedagreenbeanandthenahalfaspoonfulofsomesortofgravy.Ididthesametothenextplatequickly,eagertomeetthiswomanandattendoneoftheking’sdates.Oncemywatchhadshownthatafullminutehadpassedsincemylastbite,Itookthetwoplatesthroughthedoubledoorsandspreadasmileacrossmylips.
“Goodevening,”Igreetedthebeautifulwomanbeforeme,andthencurtsiedtotheking.Lottiewaswearingapeachballgownwithwhitelacetrim;herbrightblondhairwastiedupintoacascadeofcurlswithbraidsdowntheside.Shewasbreathtaking.Iinstantlyfeltjealousforsomereason.
Settingtheplatebeforeherandthentheking,Imademywaytomyseat,whereIsawaplateoffoodwasalreadywaitingforme.
“Thisismypersonalassistant,Kailani,”hetoldLottie.“Ithoughtitwouldbeniceforhertojoinus.Ispendalotoftimewithher,soI’dlikeforyoutogettoknowheraswell.”
Aflickerofannoyancecrossedherfeatures,butsheturneditintoaradiantsmile.“Ofcourse.Hello,Kailani.”
“It’snicetomeetyou,Lottie.Ihearyouliketoplaychess?”Itookasipofmywater,asadryticklehadformedinmythroat.
Shenodded,puttingtheforkintohermeat.Thekingraisedagreenbeantohislips.
“Idoenjoythementalstimulation,”shesaid.
Acrampformedinmystomachandallatoncefearrushedintome.
Drythroat.Cramps.
ThekingwasjustabouttobitethetipofthegreenbeanwhenIstoodupsofastthatthechairfellbackwards.Reachingforward,Irippedtheforkfromhishandandthrewitontheground.NextIreachedforhisandLottie’splatesandtossedbothtothefloor.
“WhattheHades!?”Lottieyelled,andIdoubledforwardinagony.Mythroatwasonfire,mystomachfeltlikeitwaschewingonrazorblades,andIknewIwasabouttodie.Lottieseemedtocatchonthen,standingandscreaming,“Poison!”asshefledfromtheroom.
Ilookedupatthekingandtherewassomuchfearandpainonhisfacethatmyheartbrokeforhim.
“No,”hebreathed,rushingforwardtotakemeintohisarms.Ifeltitthen,bleedingfromhimandintome.Allthetraumaofwatchinghisfamilydiewascomingrightbacktohim.FunnyhowIwastheonedyingandyetIwasworriedabouthim.
“It’sokay.”Ireachedupandwipedawayatearthathadslidfromhiseye
Heblinkedrapidly,asifshockedthatatearhadproduceditself,andthenheshookhishead.Placingonehandonmystomach,hegrithisjaw.“Thatbitchwillnottakeanotherfromme,”hedeclared.
Allatonceitwaslikethestomachcrampingandthroatburningwaspulledoutofmybodythroughmynavel.Theking’sfacewentred;hestartedtogagandthenhefellbackwards.
“Raife!”Iscreamed,sittingupandthrowingmyselfontopofhim.Hisfacewaspurpleasifhecouldn’tbreathe,andIrememberedwhathesaidthen.WhyheneversavedpreviouspeoplewhohadbeenpoisonedbyQueenZaphira.Itwastoohardtoknowhowmuchpoisontotakefromthepersonifitwastastelessandodorless.Hewaspresumablysupposedtotakehalf,buthe’dtakenitall—theidiottookeverybitofpoisonfromme.
“Whywouldyoudothat!?”TearsleakedfrommyeyesinpanicasIbeatonhischest.“Giveitback.Giveitbacktome,”Ipleaded,graspinghissweatypalmsasifIcouldsuckthepoisonbackintomybody.
Mychestfelttight,mystomachburning;thoughtsofimpendingdoomtookoverme.Iknewtheywerehisthoughts,notmine,andIwasn’tshockedwhenIfeltexcitementrushthroughhimaswell.
Hewantstodie.Maybenotactivelybutforthepaintostop,forthewaitingtobepoisonedbythequeeneveryday.Hewasexcitedtoleaveallthatbehind,tobedonewithitandjoinhisfamilyintheheavenlyrealms.
SomethinginstinctualkickedinandIsatontopofhim,mylegsstraddlinghiswaist,andstartedtodochestcompressions.Itmightnotbesomefancyandmagicalformofelvinhealing,butitworkedinthehumanworld.Ifhisfacewaspurple,itmeanthecouldn’tbreathe,soIwouldbreatheforhim.IwoulddoeverythingIcouldtosavehimbecauseIwasn’treadytolethimgo.
Leaningforward,Ipressedmylipstohis,pinchinghisnosewithmyfingers,andexhaled.Itwasasiflightninghitmyspine;anelectricalchargerippedthroughmybackandthebreathIexhaledintohismouthwas…purple.Smallbitsofitleakedfromthesealofhislipsdespitemybestefforts.Igasped,takingsomeofthepurplebreathbackintomymouth,andthat’swhenhecoughed,thebluecolorleavinghisface,changingintoaviolentred,andthenpeach.
Hestaredatmewide-eyed,chestheavingasIsatatophim,staringdownincompleteandutterbewilderment.
“Youstupidman!”Iscreamed,poundinghischest.“Ithoughtyouweredying!”
Hegraspedmyhand,catchingitmidair,hisgazeslowlyhoodingover.“Iwas,andifyoudon’tgetoffofmeIthinkmybodyisabouttoshowyouhowaliveIreallyfeelrightnow.”HelookeddownathiscrotchandmylegsstraddledoveritandIblushed,throwingmyselfoffofhimandtothefloorbesidehim.
Hesatup,restinghisarmsoverhisknees,andranhisfingersthroughhishair.
“Whathappened?”Iasked.“You…youshouldn’thavedonethat.I’mnotworthit.”
Hislifewaswaymoreimportantthanmine.
Hecastmealongsideglance,openedhismouthtospeak,andthenthedoorsfromthekitchensburstopen.ItwasMrs.Tirth.“Thechefhasfled.Lottiesaidtherewaspoison?Iseveryoneokay?”Shelookedfranticallyfrommetotheking.
Raifestood,fistsballed.“Fledwhere?”hegrowled.
Mrs.Tirthswallowedhard.“Thegardens,mylord.Minutesago—”
Raifetookoffoutthedininghallandthroughthekitchens,seeminglytogivechasetothechefwho’djusttriedtokillusboth.
ItwasatthisprecisemomentthatIhadamentalbreakdown.SobswrackedmychestasIprocessedeverythingthathadjusthappened.
“Ohdear.”Mrs.Tirthcrouchedbesidemeandhelpedmestand.“Didhehealyou?”ShelookedconfusedastohowIwasstillalive.
Inodded.
ThenIhealedhimback…Ithink,Iwantedtosay,butdidn’t.Whateverthatpurplebreaththingwas,itwasfreakyandIwastooshakentoprocessitproperly.
“What’shappenedtoyourhair?”Shereachedoutandfingeredmylocks.
Ifrowned,confusedatwhatshemeant,thenIsawthatinabedofmybrownhairwasathickstreakofwhite.
Thatwastoomuchformetohandle.Ijustshookmyheadandburstintotearsagain.
“Oh,hush,darling.It’sokay.”Shepulledmeintoahuganditremindedmeofmysweetauntie.OhhowImissedherandherbigstronghugs.Iwonderedwhatshewasdoingrightnowandifshewasworriedaboutme.IfshehadanyideahowcloseIjustcametodeath,shewouldhavecompletelylostit.
Mrs.TirthwalkedmebacktomyroomsandIslippedoutofmygownandsoakedinahotbath.Afterward,IputonashortbluesatinnightgownanddecidedI’dreadbythewindowtogetmymindoffofthings.Ilovedscienceandmathematics,butfortimesliketheseonlyaromancenovelwoulddo.Luckily,thekinghadmanyinhislibrary,Isupposedfromhissistersorevenhismother.
TheoneIhadmyeyeonwasbyJ.Hall.Itwasaboutafallenwingedbeingcalledanangelandhersoulmatelover.Istrokedthegoldfeatherembossedonthecoverandthenstartledwhenasmallrapsoundedatmydoor.
Isetthebookdownandrushedforwardjustasthewhitenoteslippedunderthedoor.
IheldmybreathasIopenedit.
ItwaslongerthanalltheothersandIbroughtitbacktothecouchwithmetoread.
Ihopeyou’reokay.Ididn’twanttowakeyouifyouwereresting.
Thanksfor…savingme.
LottieisaNo.ShetoldMrs.Tirthshecouldneverliveinconstantfearofbeingpoisoned.
Backtothedrawingboardtomorrow?Theelderswantameetingfirstthinginthemorning.
-Raife
Istrokedthewords,Ihopeyou’reokay.NeverinamillionyearsdidIthinkI’dbeattheserviceofakingtopayoffmydebts,andIhadn’texpectedhimtobeadecentman.Kingswerejerks,richbastardswhoactedaboveyouandneverletyouspeakyourmind.NotRaife.Itwasmyjobtofindhimawife,anddammitIwasgoingto.Iknewnowmorethaneverhowimportantgettingthecounciltobackhiswarwas.Thequeenwouldn’tstopcomingafterhim—hisfuturewife,theirchildren.IfRaifeandhisarmyreallystoodachanceattakingherout,thenIwantedtohelphim.ItwouldthrowNightfallintochaosforasmalltimebutthenoneofhermorelevel-headedsonswouldtakeover.Hereldest,thepsychopathofthefamily,waskilledseveralmonthsagobyDragonKingDraeValdren.Nowallthatwasleftwerehersixsonswhoseemeddecentlynormalasfarasrulerswent.Nothingliketheirmonstermother.
Ibarelyslept.InsteadIdrewuppagesandpagesofideas.Aftercrossingthemout,Ilandedonthethreemostplausibleandwrotetheminmybestcursivescript.
Anarrangedmarriagelikethefaedo,withahighbornfamilywhereRaifepaysadowryofsortsandthewomanagreeswithoutevenseeinghim.
AgrandballwitheverysinglewomaninallofArchmereinattendance.Hewouldpicktheprettiestoneafteranightofdancingandproposetheverynextday.
Andlastly,atotallydesperateidea,afakemarriage.Afriendoroldloverwhowouldagreetoacharadetoconvincethecouncilhewassettledandonhiswaytohavingheirssohecouldfundhiswar.Dara?
Thenextmorning,Iworeabluecrushedvelvetgownwithasleevelesslace-upcorset,andclutchedmylittlemarriageideasparchmentproudly.
Themeetingwiththecouncilwasinfiveminutes,andafterweheardwhattheyhadtosayI’dscheduledinsometimeforjustRaifeandItobrainstormmyideasandwhichonehemightlike.
Istoppedbythekitchens.Mrs.Tirthwastherewithafrownastherestofthestaffcleanedanddiddishesaroundher.Everyonelookedsullenandthemoodwaslow.“He’sdecidedtofasttoday,”shesaid.
Mystomachdropped.Hewastooscaredtoeat.Afterlastnighthe’drathernoteatthanbepoisonedagain.Ididn’tblamehim.
Ifrowned.“Doweknowanythingaboutthepoisonused?”
Sheshookherhead.“Thequeen’sspecialblend.Tasteless,scentless,andnowtakesatleastfiveminutestokickin.”
Ipickedupanappleandtookabite,decidingtojusthavethesmallpieceoffruitforbreakfast.Surelythepoisoncouldn’tbeinjectedintoanapple,couldit?
AfterIswallowedtheonebite,Iwonderedifitcouldbeinjectedintoanappleandchuckeditintothetrash.“WhenwillChefBrulierbeback?”Iaskedher.
Sheshrugged.“Hismotherisdying.Oldage,nothingthatcanbedone.”
HewastheonlychefItrusted.
“Verywell.Untilhereturns,Iwillbecookingalloftheking’sandmymeals,”Iinformedher.
Halfthekitchenstaffstoppedthenandturnedtome.
Mrs.Tirthfrowned.“Youcook?”
Ishrugged.“KeptmyauntandIalive,howhardcanitbe?You’reallexcuseduntilfurthernotice!”Isaidloudly.
Theyfroze,lookingworriedlyfromMrs.Tirthbacktome.
“Youheardher,”Raife’svoiceboomedfrombehindme,andIjumpedalittle.
Theysetdownwhattheywereworkingonandbegantoleave.Mrs.Tirthsensedthiswasaprivatemoment,andchosetoseeherselfoutaswell.
“Youcancook?”heasked.
Iturned,drinkinghimin.Heworeahigh-collaredgraysilktunic,andhishairwastiedintoaknotatthebackofhisneck.Thereweredarkbagsunderhiseyesindicatinghehadn’tsleptmucheither.
“Itmaynotbeuptoaking’sliking,butIcanmakestewandbasicflatbreads.Icankeepusfedandnotpoisoned.”
Hereachedupandbrushedhisfingersacrosshischin.“Ithoughtyouhateddoingdishes?”
Inodded.“Ido.Iwon’tbedoingthem.We’recallingthemaidsbackeverynighttocleanup.”
Agrinpulledathislipsandhisgazetraveleddownmygown.Mybodyheatedwhenhedid,andIhopeditwasfromarousalandnotinjectedapplepoison.Iwantedtoaskhimwhathappenedlastnight,whatthepurplebreathhealingthingwas,whyhelookedsogoodinasimplegraysilktunic…
“Areyouokay?”Hereachedupandranthebackofhisfingeralongtheoutsideofmyneck,downmythroatandtomycollarbone.
Ifroze,meltingunderhistouch.
Hepulledhishandbackasifrealizingwhathewasdoing.“Imean,mythroatisstillalittleraw,”hesaid.
Ishookmyhead.“I’mfine…physicallyspeaking.”
Henodded.“Andemotionally?”
“Atotalwreckinside,”Iconfirmed,whichcausedhimtobarkoutinlaughter.
Hades,Ilovedthatsound.Icouldn’thelpbutgrin,ashisjoywasinfectious.
“Well,thatmakestwoofus,”hesaid,andeyedmyappleinthetrashwiththemissingbite.
IfingeredthewhitelockofmyhairatthebaseofmyneckandRaifereacheduptotouchit.
“Iwasinthelibrarylatelastnightandreadthatatraumaticeventcancausethehairtogowhite,”hesaid.
“Itcan?”Iasked.
Henodded,andItiedmyhairupinabun,tuckingitawaysoneitherofushadtolookatit.
“Thecounciliswaiting,”Itoldhim.Iwantedtoaskwhatthatpurplebreathwas,butIhonestlycouldn’thandletheanswer.HadIsavedhim?Wasthatreallywhathappened?BecauseifsoIwasreallystartingtofreakoutandIdidn’twanttothinkaboutitanymore.
Henodded,gesturingthatIleadthewayashishandcametothesmallofmybacktoushermeoutofthekitchens.Iturnedbackandlookedatthesmallspace.“PosttwoofyourmosttrustedBowMenateachkitchenentranceandexit.Nooneinoroutbutmeandthedishwasher.Nooneelse.NotevenMrs.Tirth.Thisismykitchennow.”Ilikedthewoman,butIdidn’ttrustanyonerightnow.
Hefrowned,lookingconcerned,butnodded.
***
ThemeetingwiththecouncilwasmoreintensethanIhadpreparedfor.
“I’msorrytohearofanotherassassinationattempt,”Haigsaid.“ButthisisproofweneedyoutotakeawifeandstartafamilylestyoubewipedoutbytheNightfallqueen.”
Raiferubbedthebridgeofhisnose.“I’mworkingonit.”
“Areyou?”Aronasked.“Becausethemotherssayyouhaven’tcalledanyofthegirlsbackforseconddates.”
RaifelookedatmepleadinglyandIheldupthepieceofparchmentwithmyideasonit.“Actually,gentlemen,Ihavehisshortlistrighthere.Wearegoingoveritafterthismeeting.Pickingthewomanyouwillspendtherestofyourlifewithisnosmallmatter.You’reallmarried,youshouldknowthat,”Itoldthem,eyeingtheswirledelvinringsontheirmarriagefingers.
IknewRaifecouldsmellthelie,buthewouldn’tcare.
Thecouncilshiftedintheirseats.“Wewantaproposalbytheendoftheweek.Weddingnextmonth,andanheirbynextyear.Yougotit,son?”Haigsaidwiththesternvoiceofacaringfather.
Raifesighed.“Igotit.”
Geez.Thatwasn’treallyleavingalotoftimetofallinloveandtravelthecountryside,togrowtogetherbeforethrowingascreamingbabyinthemix.Don’tgetmewrong,Ilovedchildren;babiessmelledlikenewlifeandjoy,buttheyalsotookupyourentiredayandnightandyourlifewasneverthesameafteryouhadone.Iwantedatleastfiveyearsalonewithmyhusbandbeforepoppinganyofthoseout.
PoorRaife.
Hiswholelifewasdictatedbythiscouncil,thiskingdom,thislife.
Thecouncilbidusagooddaythen,andlefttheroom,latchingthedoorbehindthemastheyleft.
Raifeturnedtomeandeyedtheparchment.“Shortlist,huh?”
Ishrugged.“Imean,notatotallie,it’sashortlistofideas.”Ihandedittohim.
Hereadit,hiseyesgoingfromtheparchmenttomeandbacktotheparchment.Hisgazereturnedtomeandherubbedhischin,chewingonhisbottomlip.“Youmightbeontosomethinghere,Lani.”
Thepetnametookmeoffguard.
Lani.It’swhatmyauntieandclosefriendscalledme.
“Oh,whichdoyoulike?”Ileanedforwardtoseehisfingeronthethird,mostdesperateoption.
FakeMarriage.
“Imean…that’salastresortafterthefancyballand—”
“Idon’twantafancyballorsomebig,drawn-outthing.Iwanttogetmarried,getthecounciloffmyass,andthengetthefundingformywar.”
Myhearthurtalittlethathedidn’twantthetrueloveoption.Thebigballwouldhavebeenfuntoplan.
Inodded.“Verywell.Doyouhaveatrustedconfidantthatwouldagreetosuchanarrangement?Maybe…Dara?”Itkilledmetosayit.Ididn’tknowwhyIwasjealousofhiswhorebutIwas.
Hischeeksreddenedandheshookhishead.“She’snot…wifematerial.”
ReliefrushedthroughmebutIhidit.“Well,whodidyouhaveinmind?”
Hestaredatmeforanuncomfortablylongamountoftime.Settingtheparchmentdown,hereachedoutandtookmyhand.“You.”
Completeandtotalshockrippedthroughme.“Me?”
Henodded.“Wespendalldaytogetheranyway,everymeal,allthesemeetings.Thecouncilwouldtotallybuyit,andyou’vebecomelikeabestfriendtome.Igenuinelyenjoyspendingtimewithyou.”
Best.Friend.Itwaslikeaknifetotheheart.Iwasafraidhe’dsomehowfeelthepainofit,soIgentlyslippedmyhandfromhis.“Oh,”Isaid,andgotup,startingtopacetheroom.
Whatishappening?
“You’repacing,”heobserved.
“I’mprocessingafakemarriagewiththeelvinking,”Ideadpanned.
Heinclinedhishead.“Iwouldofcourseincreaseyourpay.Itwouldhavetobebelievable.IcannothavethecouncilgettingwindofthisinthemiddleofawarwiththeNightfallqueenandthentakemyfunding.”
Increasemypay.Apaidposition.Ouch.Theknifehe’dstabbedinmyhearttwisteddeeper.
“Youhaven’tsaidanything,”hesaid,nervousnesscreepingintohisvoice.
“Stillprocessing.”Ilappedthesmallroom,wearinglinesinthecarpet.
Afakemarriagetotheking.Like…withkissesandsharingabedandstuff?“Wouldwe…consummatethismarriage?”IblushedasIsaidit.
Helookedsurprisedbythat.“No.It’sfake.Nooneneedstoknowwhatgoesonbehindcloseddoors.Buthandholdingandtheoccasionalkisswouldberequired.”
Best.Friend.
KissinghimwassomethingIhadthoughtabout—beforehe’dcalledmehisbestfriend.NowIjustwantedtodie.IwassogratefulIwastheempathandnothim.
“Increasingmypayforitfeelsweird.I’mnotawhore,”Ifinallysaid,andturnedtofacehim.
HeflinchedasifI’dslappedhim.“Idon’tthinkyouare—Iwouldneverthinkthat.Iwasmerelytryingtomakethearrangementattractivetoyou.”
“Howlongarewetalking?”
WasIseriouslyconsideringthis?
“Howeverlongittakesmetowinawaragainstthequeen.I’vealreadygottenthekingofEmbergatetoagreetojoinme.I’llbeworkingonLucienThorneandAxilMoonnext.”
Wow,he’dgottenthewordofthedragonkingandwouldbegoingafterthefaekingandwolfkingnext?“Youplantogoafterthequeenunited?”Iaskedinsurprise.
Henodded.“Onlywayitwillwork.She’sregrettablytoopowerfulotherwise.”
Hewasright.IwasfeelingmoreconfidentabouthiswareffortsnowthatIknewhehadplannedtogettheothersinvolved.
“Iwantmyaunthealed,”Iblurtedout.“Idon’twantextramoney,butIwantyoutoextraditemyauntandhealher,setherupinahomehere.Idon’twantherlivinginthereifyouwillbringwartotheNightfallrealm.”
Hestood.“Done.I’msorryIdidn’toffertohealherearlier.”
Done?Justlikethat?IwonderedwhatelseIcouldhaveaskedfor.
“Thecouncilsaidtheyexpectachildnextyear.”Iblushed.
Henodded.“I’lltellthemwearetrying.Youarehalfhuman,sothatcouldbetoblameforafewyears.”
HolyHades,wasIreallysayingyestothis?
Raifesidesteppedthetableandtookbothofmyhandsinhis.“Kailani,eversinceIwasfourteenyearsoldandthequeenrobbedmeoftheprivilegeofafamily,Ivowedtogetrevenge.Togetjusticeformymother,myfather,Trini,Raelin,Dane,Akara,Gwen,andSabe.”
Hearingtheirnamescausedtearstolinemyeyes.Icouldfeeltheemotionsrollingthroughhimlikewaves.Excitementatthisidea,thatitcouldworktoappeasethecouncil,angeratthequeen,protectionandadorationforme.
Hishandspulledawayandheclearedhisthroat.“DomethisfavorandIwilldenyyounothing.ForsolongasIlive,whateveryouaskIwillgrantit.Please,Lani.”
Whoa.Hewasallbutbeggingme.
Sowewouldmarry,defeatthequeenandthenwedivorce?Iguessedtherewereworsewaystospendmytwenties.
“Okay,Raife.I’lldoit.Foryouandforyourfamily.”
Hegrinned,rushingforwardtopickmeup.Hisarmscamearoundthebackofmylegsashestood,vaultingmeintotheairandspinningmearound.Laughterbubbledoutofmeaspureelationrushedthroughhimandintomybody.Thismomentrightheremadebeinganempathawonderfulthing.Feelingsomeoneelse’sjoy,sharingintheirelation,itwasbeautiful.
Hesetmedownthenandslammedhisopenhandonthetableinexcitement.“It’stimetoplanawedding.Andthenawar.”
Imean,itwasn’twhateveryblushingbridewantedtohear,butI’dtakeitFIVE
Haveyoueverwonderedhowyourlifegottoitscurrentplace?AsIstoodoutsidethedoortothemeetingRaifewashavingwithhiscouncil,Iwonderedhowminehadcometothismoment.Ifingeredthedelicateelvingold,it’sswirlshapecurvingaroundmymarriagefinger.I’djustcomefromtheseamstress,givingherideasonhowtodesignmyfakeweddingdresstoweartomyfakewedding.NowIpressedmyeartothedoorasHaigbellowed,“She’shalfhuman,weak,aliability!”
Iwinced.
Raifeallbutgrowled,“Don’tspeakaboutmyfuturewife,yourfuturequeen,likethat.”
“Mylord,Imerelymeananychildrenyouhavemightbecompromisedinthehealinggiftdepartmentifherhumanlineageweretooverwhelm—”
“She’sanempath,”Raifedeclared,andtheroomeruptedintogasps.
Myhearthammeredinmythroatathisrevealingofwhatfeltlikemysecret.
“You’resure?”Haigasked,shockapparentinhisvoice.
“Don’tinsultmyintelligence,”Raifesaid.
“Let’sfocusontheinformationthatthekinghasinfacttakenabetrothed,”Foxworthcutin.“Thisisgoodnews.Whenisthewedding?”
“Nextmonth.Wecan’twaittobewed,”Raifeaddedquickly.
Hecouldn’twaittostartawarwiththequeenwaswhathemeant.
Adeepchucklecamefromtheroom.Ididn’trecognizewhoitwasuntilhespoke.“Allthisflirtingandcastinglongglancesather,Iknewyouwerefallinginlove,”Greylinadded.
Iblushed,wishingthatweretrue.
Raifeclearedhisthroat.“WhatcanIsay,she’sbeautifulandsmartand…allthethingsyouwouldwantinalifepartner.”
Oh,howIwishedIcouldsmellalie!
“Weshouldhostanengagementpartytomorrow.Thecourtwillbethrilledtoknowyou’vemadeadecision.Maybenowthedailyquestionsfromthemotherswillstop,”Haigaddedwithamildannoyance.WerethemothersseeingHaigandaskingaboutwhenRaifewasgoingtochoose?NowIfeltabitbadaboutthat.
Anengagementpartytomorrowsoundedsoon,butRaifeagreedimmediately.“I’llhavemyeventplannergeteverythingsetup.”
Atthesoundofthechairsscootingbackwards,Ijumpeddeepintothehallway,atthefarwallwithmyhandsclutchingmynotesandtheking’sschedulefortherestoftheday.Whenthedooropened,Haigwasthefirsttoseeme.
Hiseyesrakedovermesuspiciouslybeforefallingontheengagementringatmyfinger,andhisfeaturessoftened.
“Congratulations,Kailani.Welookforwardtotheupcomingnuptials.”
Igavehimabiggummysmile,actingthepartofanexcitednewbride.“Thankyou,sir.”
Theothercouncilmemberssteppedout,eachonecongratulatingme,andthentheyleftdownthelongcorridortosomepartofthecastleIhadyettoexplore.
Raifefinallystoodbeforeme,takinginmylavenderdresswithadeepV-neckandsheersleeves.“FoxworthandGreylinaresoldonit,”hewhispered.“ButweneedtoconvinceHaigandAron.”
Iswallowedhard.“Convince?”
Raifenoddedcasually.“Youknow,thatwe’rereallyinlove.”
Right
Itossedmyhairoveroneshoulder.“Well,nottobragoranything,butIdidgettopmarksintheatreclassmyupper-classyear.”
Raifesmirked,lookinginsanelyhandsome.“Itooktheatricsinmyupper-classyearsaswell.Topmarks.”
“Gameon,then,”Ichallengedhim.
Hereachedoutandthreadedhisfingersthroughmine,slowlysothattheystrokedmypalmontheirway,whichcausedheattoflushmychestandcheeks.
“Shallwedolunchnow,darling?”hepurred,easilydroppingintotheacting,andmystomachdropped.
Isimplynodded,unabletospeakforfearofmyvoicecracking.Beingfakemarriedtoatrollwithwartsonhisnosewouldinvolvesuperbacting.PretendingIwasinlovewithRaifeLightstonewasalittletooeasy.
***
AfterImadeuslunch,Raifeofferedtodothedishes,insistingthatbringinganotherpersonintoour“safe”kitchenwasarisk.
Ifrowned,settingtheplatesinthesink.“You’retheking.Haveyoueverdoneadishinyourlife?”Iasked.
Heshrugged,pickingthedirtyplateupandeyeingthescrubbrush.“I’mthemosteducatedmaninthiscastle,howhardcanitbe?”Hegrabbedthebarofsoapandrubbeditovertheplate,makingsmallcirclesandcausingthefoodtomashintothesoap.Itriedtograbmymouthandtocoverthelaugh,butasnortcameoutandRaifeglaredatme.
“I’msorry,mylove…”Ipracticedthepetname.RaifeandIagreedthatevenaloneweshouldpretendtobeengagedandinlovesothatwedidn’tgettooconfusedwiththeroles.“Thesoapgoesonthebrush,thenthebrushgoesontheplateandmakesbubbles.”
Hescowled.“Therearetwowaystodoeverything.”
Inodded.“Butthisistheonlywaythatkeepsthesoapcleanandfreeofcrumbs.”
Reachingintotherunningwater,heflickedsomeatmeplayfully,causingmetoshriekandstumblebackwards.“You’resexywhenyou’reactinglikeaknow-it-all,”hesaid.
Mychestheaved.Thiswasaboveandbeyondtheacting.Right?
Bestfriend,hecalledmehisbestfriend,Iremindedmyself.
“Itry.”Ishruggedcutely,unsurewhatelsetodo.HearingRaifeLightstonecallmesexyhadcausedallthebloodtorushfrommyheadtoanotherplace.
Raifelookedoveratme.“Areyouokaywiththislast-minuteengagementparty?SorryIdidn’thavetimetoaskyou.”
Hewassothoughtful,checkinginwithme.Inodded.“Yes,butIhavenoideawhattowear.”
Raifechuckled;heknewhowmuchIlovedfashion.“Whydon’tyoutaketherestofthedayofftogoandseeSamarahandpickoutyourdesignandfabric.”
“Really?”Isquealed.
HenoddedandIrushedforward,poppingontomytiptoestobrushaquickkissontohischeek.
Ifelthisbodystiffenbeneathmine,andthenItoreoutofthekitcheninsearchoftheseamstress.Ineededadressthatwouldblowakingdomaway,orattheveryleastRaifeLightstone.
***
Thenextdaypassedquickly.Wehadmeetingsandhealingsupuntiltheveryhourbeforetheparty.Theeventwascateredbyalocalcompanywhowasdelightedtohavethehonorofdoingsointheheadchef’sabsence.RaifeandIbothagreeditwastooriskytoeatattheeventandthatwewouldeatbefore,whichwejusthad.
“Ineedtogogetready,”Imentioned.
Henodded,lookingoversomeparchments.“Seeyouthere,love,”hesaidoffhandedly.
TherewasabutlerintheroomtakingourplatessoIknewthisdisplaywasforhim,butIcouldn’tdenyhearinghimcallme“love”didstrangethingstomystomach.
IrushedbacktomyroomtofindthattwoofSamarah’sassistantswerethere,waitingtodressme.
“Oh,blessyou,”Itoldthemasweallrushedinside.
Iquicklystrippedtomyundergarmentsastheyhoistedthelargedeeppurpledressovermyhead.
Astheybegantotightenthecorsetedback,Ipeereddownattheintricatebeadworkandartistry.“Youmusthavebeensewingallnight,”Imurmuredinawe.
Oneofthemyawnedandnodded.“Samarahisasleepnow.Wewillberightafter.”
Ireachedoutandgraspedbothoftheirhands.“Thankyou.Ireallyappreciateyou.”
Theybothbeamedatme.“Ofcourse,Kailani.It’sagreathonor.”
Aftertheyhadmeinthedress,Islippedintosomesilverheelsandthensatdownwhiletheyintricatelybraidedmyhair.
Therewasaknockatthedoorandoneofthehandmaidensanswered.
“Agiftfromtheking,”amalevoiceIrecognizedsaid.
AgiftfromRaife?
IpeeredovermyshouldertoseeoneofRaife’strustedBowMenatthedoor.Theassistanttookthegiftfromhimandbroughtthesmallpackagetome.
Itwaswrappedinpalebluesilk.Iuntiedittorevealabeautifulglassbottleofperfume.
Therewasanote.
Thoughtthiswouldsmellamazingonyou–Raife
Myhearthammeredinmychestattheromanticgesture.Thegirlsdoingmyhairmusthavepeekedovermyshoulderandreadthenotebecauseoneofthemsighed.“That’ssosweet.”
Ismiled,unsureiftheperfumegiftanddesiretosmellitonmewasgenuineorallpartofthelie.
Whenthegirlsweredone,theyleftandIsprayedtwopuffsofthefragrance,oneonmywristandoneonmyneck.Inhalingdeeply,Ismiled.Itdidsmellgood.
TherewasaknockatthedoorandIstrolledacrosstheroom,pullingitopen
Raifestoodthereinadarkgraysilktunicwithahighcollar.Hishairwasslickedbackintoaponytailathisnape,andIsuddenlyforgottospeak.
“Wow,”hesaid,ashelookedmeupanddown.
Igrinned.“Igotyourgift.”
Steppingforward,Iheldmywristtohisnose.HeclaspedmyhandinhisandpulledmeclosersothatIwasonlyinchesawayfromhisbody.Leaninghisnoseintomywrist,heinhaledandsentashiverdownmyspine.
Emotionswerecomingoffofhimstrongly,andnoneofthemhadtodowithgrieforangerastheynormallydid.Thesewerealldesireandsatisfaction.
“Ready,mylord?”aBowManaskedinthehallway,andIwassnappedfrommytrance.
Raifedroppedmyhandandslippedhisfingersintomine,againstrokingmypalmashedid.ItwasasubtlesignaturemovethatIwasn’tsureheknewcausedmesomuchdelight.
Walkingthehallwayhandinhand,wenoddedtothestaffwhohadlineduptogetalookatus.
“Congratulations,mylord,”oneofthemsaid.
“Wishingyoumanyyearsofhappiness,YourHighness,”anothersaid.
Hethankedthemandsmiledandwaveduntilwesteppeduptotheopendoorsofthelargeballroom.Hundredsofvoicescouldbeheardinside,andIsuddenlybecamenervous,mypalmsgoingslickwithsweat.
Raifelookedsidewaysatme.“Isthewomanwhooncetookaslavetradertotheground…scared?”Ireachedoverandlightlypunchedhisarm,causingtheBowMentotensebesideus.
“No.I’mjust…nervous.”
Raifegrinned.“Samething.”
“Isnot,”Iargued.
Beforewecouldtalkaboutitanyfurther,Raifehadpulledmeintotheroom.Thenoverahundredpairsofeyeswereonus.
Makerhelpme.Ihatedcrowds.Ijustwantedtogohomeandcurlupwithagoodbook.
Asifsensingmydesiretobolt,Raifetuckedmeclosertohissideandbroughthishanduptowaveatthenowclappingmassesofpeople.
Everyonewasdressedintheirfinestsilks;livemusicwasplaying,andtwolargebuffettableslinedtheedgesofthewalls.Therewereevendecorationsofsilversilkstreamersandpurpleflowers.Iwasamazedthecastlestaffwasabletoputonsuchagrandeventwithsuchshortnotice.
PeoplerushedtoformalineandgreetthekingandI.Theyspokewithexcitementabouttheupcomingweddingandwishedushappinessandmanychildren.Raifehandledallthetalkingandsmilinglikeachampion.Hewasbornforthis.I,however,leanedintohim,smilingshylyandthankingpeoplewithasfewwordsaspossible.
Theentiretime,Raifehadslowlybeenleadingustothemiddleofthedancefloor,andoncewegottherethebandstoppedmid-songandstartedupagain.Thistimeitwasaslowertune,somethingveryromantic.
Thecrowedtookthehintandbackedaway,formingalargecirclearoundus.Raifeclaspedmyhipsandthenleanedforwardintomyear.“Dancewithme,”hewhispered.
Mybodymeltedathistouch.Withoutaword,Idrapedmyarmsbehindhisneckandpulledbacktolookintohisgray-blueeyes,lettinghimleadthedance.
HewaspeeringatmewithanintensityIcouldn’tdecipher.Icouldfeeltheemotionsstirringwithinhim.Themostpredominantone…wasfear.Iwantedtoaskwhathewasafraidof,butnowwasn’tthetime.
Heleanedforwardthenandwhisperedagainstmyneck.“Promisemesomething,Lani,”hehuffed.
“Anything,”Isaidquickly.Iwaslikeclayinhishands,underaspellthatIhadn’tevenrealizedhe’dcast.Everythingwasblurring.Fakeorreal,Ididn’tknow.Ijustwantedtostaylikethisforever.
“Promisemeyouwon’tfallinlovewithme,”hebreathed,andIstiffenedashepulledbacktolookintomyeyes.
Fake.Thiswasallfake.Ineededtorememberthat.Hewaswarningmeofthat.
Inodded,andthenrestedmyheadonhisshouldersohewouldn’tseemyeyestearingup.
ThinkingIcouldbefake-marriedtoRaifeLightstonewithoutgettinghurtwasstartingtolooklessandlesslikely.
OhMaker,whathadIgottenmyselfinto?SIX
ThenextmorningIawokeinaweirdmood.I’dbeenfallingintothisbetrothalwithRaifeprettyhardanditallcamecrashingdownwhenhe’dbluntlytoldmenottofallinlovewithhim.NowIwasgoingtomakeanactiveefforttokeepthisillusionseparateinmymind.Raifewasmyemployer.Raifewasabusinessarrangement.Raifewasgoingtobemyfakehusband.
Withthatinmind,IsettledintothedayasIalwaysdid.Cookingusbreakfast,runninghismeetings,andthenbreakingforlunch.
Afterlunch,hedidthedishes,anactIoncesawasromanticbutnowsawasadutytokeepthekitchenpoisonfree.
“TheBowMenaretakingmeoutlaterfordrinkstocelebrate,”Raifesaidashehaphazardlyscrubbedtheplatewiththebrush.“Whenwedothis,thewiveshaveasocialnightofsorts.Acraftingcluborsomething.Wouldyouliketogo?”
Crafts?Imean,I’dratherabookclub,butIwouldn’tmindmakingsomegirlfriends,especiallyifIwasabouttobecomequeen.
Thatfacthadn’treallysettledintomeyetthatIwasnotonlymarryingthekingoftheelvesbutthatIwasgoingtobecomethepeople’squeen.Afakequeenbutaqueennonetheless.
“Sure.I’dlovethat,”Itoldhim.
Henodded.“I’lltakeyouovertoCahal’swife’shouse.Justafterdinner.”
Iwrungmyhandstogethernervously,abitshytobringupthenexttopic.“Haveyougivenanymorethoughttohowyouwillgetmyauntheretohealher?”
Hesettheplatesonthedryingrackandturnedoffthewater.Facingme,hedriedhishandsonatowel.“Igaveyoumywordandpromise,Iwillbringherhereandhealhersoon,butIdon’tthinkIcandoitbeforethewedding.”
Amonth?ShehadtowaitanothermonthofworryinghowIwas?SheprobablythoughtIhadbeensoldtothecruelfaekingandwasinchainsalldaylong.
“ThereasonforthisisthatanextractionfromtheNightfallterritoryisnotasmallfeat.Itwillrequireadozenlawstobebroken,hundredsofgoldcoinstobespent,andlivescouldbelost.Iwillhavetogetthecouncil’sapproval,andIfeartheywillnotsayyesuntilyouarequeen.”
Wow,liveslost,lawsbroken…Ihadn’treallythoughtthatthroughwhenI’daskedhimtodoit.Myaunthadanothermonthoftheseizuremedication,whichwascuttingitclose,butInodded.She’dbeokayforanothermonth.“Thankyou.”
Therestofthedaypassedwiththeusualbusinessthatwastheking’slife.He’dbeenstuckupattheinfirmaryhealingforthepastthreehourswhileImadeasimpledinnerofboiledeggsandsearedmeatwithsalad.
Iwasn’tabletodoanyofthefancypastrystuff,butRaifewasn’tcomplainingandIwasenjoyingnotfearingformylifewitheverychewandswallow.
Dinnertimecameandwentandstillthekingwasn’tbackfromtheinfirmary,soIdecidedtopacktheplatedfoodwithstainlesssteellidsintoabasketandgoseewhatwaskeepinghim.Afterenteringthefrontreceptionareaoftheinfirmary,Iwavedtothehealerondutywhorecognizedme.“He’sbeeninsurgeryforhours.Four-year-oldchildfellandbecameimpaled,notsureshewillmakeit,”thenursetoldme.
OhMaker.
Thatsoundedawful,andIknewthecaseswithchildrenaffectedRaifemoredeeplythanadults.Theyallremindedhimofthesiblingshecouldn’tsave.
Droppingthedinnerbasketoffwithherandaskinghertowatchitforme,Ishuffleddownthehallwayinsearchoftheking.
Ifoundhimintheoperatingtheatre,hunchedoverthelifelessbodyofachildwithbloodeverywhere.AgasprippedfrommythroatatthesightofthegruesomesceneasIwatchedonthroughtheglass.
“Icannotmakebloodappearoutofnowhere!”Raifesnappedtoanurse.TherewasnofamilyintheviewingroomandIknewwhy.Thiswaswaytootraumatictowatch.Theywereprobablyinthewaitingroom,prayingthattheMakerprotecttheirchild.Asuddencalmnesscameoverme,andthatsameinstinctualurgeI’dhadwhenthekingwasdyingwelledwithinmenow.Walkingbrisklyfromtheviewingarea,Icrossedthroughthedoubledoorsintotheactualoperatingroom.
OnceIwasstandingunderthebrightlightsandlookingatthescenefirsthand,Raife’sheadsnappedinmydirection.
“Out!”heroared.
ThenursewithhimlookedshockedathisoutburstbutIignoredit,merelylookingdownatthelifelesslittlegirlonthetable.SomehowIknewthathersoulwasabouttoleaveherbody;shewasondeath’sdoor.AndasfreakedoutasIwas,Icouldn’thelpbutfollowthisinstinctinsideofme.
“Lani,no!”thekinggrowled,whenIcrossedtheroomquicklyandreachedforthechild.Graspingherface,Iangledituptowardsmeandthenleanedforward,readyingmylipstopresstohers.
“Iforbidit!”Raifescreamedinapanickedshout,andlungedforme.
Ididn’tknowwhathisfearwasabout,butitwastoolate.Mylipstouchedthechild’sandIexhaled.ThistimeIdidn’tpinchhernoseshutorpressmylipshardtomakeaseal—infact,theybarelytouchedhers,butthepurplemagicalbreaththatleftmefilledherlungsandwashedoverherface.Thenursegaspedatthesametimethelittlegirldid,turningitintoasputteringcough.
Raiferippedmeaway,holdingmyshoulderstightlyandthenlookingupatmyhairwithabsoluteterrorinhiseyes.
Myhandsshook.Wouldtherebeanotherlockofwhitehair?Iftherewas,whatdiditmean?StresslikeRaifesaid?Ididn’tfeelstressed.
“She’s…blessed,”thenursebreathed,staringatmeinshock.
Blessed?Shesaidthatlikeitwasaknownthing.Aperson,aname.
“Mommy,”thelittlegirlwept,sittingupeasilylikeshewasn’tjustcoveredinbloodanddyingmomentsbefore.
Tearsrandownmycheeksastheconfusionsettledintome.DidIsaveherlife?Howwasthatpossible?Whatwasthepurplebreath?
Raifeleanedforward,restinghisforeheadonmine.“Ican’tsaveyoufromyourownheart,”hebreathed,sendingshockwavesofconfusionintome.
What?Hecan’tsavemefrommyownheart?WhattheHadesdidthatevenmean?
Hesteppedback.“MissBaka.”Raifeturnedonthenurse,whowasconsolingthescaredchild.“Iwillneedyoutosignaswornconfessionpromisingthatyouwillkeepthenatureofmywife-to-be’shealingpowersasecret.Sheistobecomethenextqueen,anditisforherutmostsafetythatthisdoesnotleavetheroom.”
Dreadsettledinmygut.Iwonderedifmaybeinmyignorancehealingthechildhadn’tbeenthesmartestthingtodo.NotthatI’dknownthat’swhatwouldhappen,butalsoIwouldn’tchangeitifIdid.
Thenurseglancedfrommyhairtothekingandbacktothegirlandnoddedfrantically.“Ofcourse,mylord.”
Raifewaspissed;hewasflickingglancesmywaywithhisjawgritted.Bendingdown,helookedthelittlegirlintheeyes.“Ihealedyou.Areyoureadytogoseeyourparents?”
Thelittlegirlnodded,wipingthetearsfromhereyes,andRaifeslippedhishandintohers.“MissBaka,canyoupleasetakelittleOaklynbacktoherparentsinthewaitingroom?I’llhaveamemberofmystaffbringthoseparchmentsbylater.”
Thenurseappearedshakenasshenoddedandthenpulledthegirlfromtheroom.Whenthedoorsshut,Raifestaredupintotheviewingroomseeminglytomakesureitwasempty.
“Whyareyoumad?”Iaskednervously,pullingatthefabricofmydress.
Raifesighed,pinchingthebridgeofhisnose.“You’vejustputatargetonyourback,atargetwedon’tneed.”
Iswallowedhard.“Whatdoyoumean?Whatwasthat?Raife,tellmewhatIjustdid.You’rehidingsomething.”
Hewalkedovertome,placingahandatopeachshoulder,andlookedmerightintheeyes.“You’rewhattheycallblessed.YoucanperformtheBreathofLifeandbringsomeonebackfromthebrinkofdeath,orhealthemfromotherwiseunhealablethings.”
Ididn’thaveareaction,Ijustblinkedathiminshock.“Isthatanempaththing?Yourmomcoulddoittoo?”
Bringsomeonebackfromthebrinkofdeath?Thatwasn’tpossible.
Hereleasedmyshoulders.“No,it’ssomethingelseentirely.Somethingsorareit’samyth.Wedon’tevenhavebooksaboutit,juststories.”
Well,itwasshocking,butIcouldn’thelpbutseeitasablessing,whichwasprobablywhyitwasnamedso.“Howwonderfultobeabletosavesomeone’slife,Raife.Thiscannotbeabadthing.”
“It’shorrible!”heshouted,scaringme.“TheblessedhaveonlysomanyBreathsofLifeinthembeforetheygivetheirownlifeanddie.Eachtimeyourhairgoeswhite,you’vegivenoneaway.Whenthelaststrandturns,youwilldie.”
Istumbledbackwards,pullingmyhairoutinfrontofmyfacetoseeit.Hewasright,morehadturnedwhitesinceI’dsavedthelittlegirl.WaymorethanwhenI’dsavedRaife.Maybethemoreenergyusedmeantthemorehairturnedwhite.ThemoreofmylifeIjustgaveaway.
“Ifyou’dbeenaroundwhenIwasfourteen…myfamilywouldstillbealive.”Hewasangry,Icouldfeelit.Hewasmadatmeforhavingthisgift.
“IfIhadbeenaround,Iwouldhavesavedthem,youknowthat,”Ipleaded.
Hisjawset.“Iknowthat,butifwordgetsaround,youwillbehunted.Peoplewillforceyoutohealfamilymembers,lovedones.TheNightfallqueenherselfcouldkidnapyouinanefforttobecomeimmortal.”
Myhandstrembled.“I…Iwouldn’tdothatforher!”Isnapped.
Raifeshookhishead.“Notevenifsheheldaknifetoyouraunt’sthroat?Oraninnocentchild’s?”
Mystomachdropped.I…Iwoulddoanythingformyauntoraninnocent.
“Youshouldhavetoldme,”Isaidfrustratedly.
“Iwasn’tsure,”hemuttered.“Iwashalfconsciouslasttime,andlikeIsaid,theywereonlystoriesI’dheardasachild.Ithoughtyouronestrandofhairwasfromstress.”Reachingout,hefingeredthelockofmynewwhitehair.“NowIseeit’snot.”
Hades.Beingconfrontedwithmyownmortalityatnineteenyearsoldmademefeelalittlesick.Still,Ididn’tregretit.
“I’mnotsorryIsavedthelittlegirl,”Isaid,andheldmychinhigh.
Raifehookedhispalmstogetherandgrippedthebackofhisneck.“Gobacktothecastleanddyeyourhair,Lani.Wecannotletthisgetout.”
Ifrowned.“ButIthoughtweweregoingouttonight?Ibroughtdinner—”
“I’velostmyappetite,Kailani,”hesnapped,releasinghishandsandwalkingacrosstheroom.Hepulledhiscloakoffahookonthewallandwalkedovertome,wrappingitaroundmyshoulders.Hethenpulledthecloakupandstartedangrilyshovingmyhairintoit.
IwasstunnedbyhisangeruntilIreacheduptobrushhishandandfeltafierceprotectiveness.Itwaslikearabidanimalstandingoverafreshkill.Wild,unrestrainedferalpossessivenessbubbledthroughRaifeanditwasalloverme.Theprotectivenesswasinfearofmysafety.Hewouldkillforme,dieforme,doanythingtokeepmesafe.
Igraspedhishandandhestilled.
“I’llbeokay,”Itoldhim.
Heyankedhishandfrommine.“Whatever,”wasallhesaid,andthenhetorefromtheroom.
Itriedandfailedtokeepthetearsfromflowingdownmycheeks.RaifeLightstonesurehadaninterestingwayofcaringforsomeone.Itwasalltooconfusingformetobear.Keepingmyhoodup,Ilefttheroomandpassedthefrontdesk,notevengrabbingthedinnerbasketIhadmade.ForallIknewthenursehadpoisonedit.Thiswasmylifenow,livinginfearateverycorner,allbecauseoftheNightfallqueenandherpsychoticvisiontoridtherealmofmagic.
Mystomachgrumbled.ThatchickenandboiledeggsI’dmadesoundedprettydamngoodrightnow.
Iwasn’tsurewhowantedtokillthequeenmorerightnow,meorRaife.
***
AftertellingMrs.TirthIhadsomeearlygrayinghairIwantedtocover,sheranoutandpurchasedsomebrownhairdyeforme.Ispenttheentirenightdyingmyhair,twicetocoverthebrightsilverstrands,andthenmadeaseconddinnerbecauseIwasstarved.
Itookalongbath,andthengotintomynightgownandtuckedintomybook.Thecharacterwashavingahardtimecomingtotermswithhernewrealityofbeingabletoseethespiritrealm.Itsoundedfamiliar.I’dlikeavacationfrommyrealityrightaboutnow.
Therewasaknockatthedoor.Ithrewarobeovermysilkgown.“Yes?”Isaidthroughthewood.
“It’sRaife,”aslightlyslurredvoicecalledfromtheotherside.
Itorethedooropen,andallthoughtsofourearlierfightwereforgottenwhenIlookedathissleepyeyesandthewayheswayedinthedoorway.Hislongblondhairwaspulledintoasexymessybunathisnape,andheputonehandonhiship.
“You’redrunk!”Isaidaccusingly.Ididn’tknowwhythismademehappybutitdid.
“Imaybeslightlyib-riniated.Inebretatid.”Hefrowned,unabletosaytheword,andIcouldn’thelpbutbarkoutinlaughter.
“Oh,Raife,thismademynight,thankyou.”Ibeamed,thenathoughtstruckme.“Whotastedthebeerforyou?”
“Mybowmen.”Herushedthewordstogetherandthensteppedclosertome,socloseinfactthatIhadtostepbackwardsintomyroom.
“I’vebeenthinking.”Hisgazefelltomylips.“Ifwearetokissonlyonourweddingdayinfrontofthousands,itwon’tlookreal.”
MystomachbottomedoutandIlickedmylipsinanticipation.GonewastheangryRaifefromtheinfirmary.Hedidn’tevenlookatmyhairorsayanythingaboutmybeingblessed.
“Whatdidyouhaveinmind?”Iasked.Ifhewantedtoforgetmysavingthelittlegirltonight,Iwastotallyokaywiththat.
Allthistalkofkissingseemedtohaveinstantlysoberedhimalittle.Hestoppedswaying,hiseyeslookingmorealertashisgazefelltomynightgown.Iglanceddown,followinghisgaze.
Oops.Mycloakhadopened,soIcoveredmyselfupagain.
“Iwasthinkinginordertomakeitlooknatural,weshouldpractice.Onekissaday,”hestated.
NowIwastheoneswaying.Aheadyrushconsumedmeandmyheartpoundedmadlyinmychest.
KissRaife?Likearealkissinordertomakeourfakekissinglookreal?Ididn’tknowwhatwaswhatanymore,butifIwasbeinghonestI’dthoughtaboutkissingthisguyalotsincethefirstdayImethim.Mostwomenmightcarethathewasdrunk.Ididnot.Whateverittooktogethimtoopenupabouthisdesiretokissmewasokaywithme.Raifelivedalotofthetimeinhishead.Heneededtodropintohisheartonceinawhile.
Ishruggedcasually.“Isupposethatwouldbeokay.Especiallyifyou’renogoodatit.ThenI’llhavetocoachyou.”
Mywordshadtheirintendedeffect.Shockandangerslashedacrosshisface,andthenstone-colddetermination.Onesecondhewasstandingbeforemeandthennextherushedforward.Onehandgraspedmylowerbackandpulledmybodyagainsthis,andtheothercuppedmyjaw.Heusedhisthumbtoforcemychinhigher,inlinewithhis.Whenhebreathed,thescentofpumpkinmeadwashedovermeandIinhaledinanticipation.
Buthedidn’tdoanything.Hejustlookeddownatmeasifdrinkinginmyeagerness.
Doit!Iwantedtoscream.
Hegrinnedthenandmykneeswentweak.Leaningin,hebrushedhislipsacrossmine.Itwassodelicateitalmosttickled.Everythinginmybodywentnumbandhotallatonce.JustwhenIthoughtthatmightbeit,hewentforthekill.
Pressinghislipstominewithurgency,Iwhimperedinrelief,openingmymouthashistonguebrushedalongmyown.Hisfingersdugintomybackinawaythatfeltgood,andIpressedmypelvisharderintohis.
Ourtonguesweredoingadancethatfeltcoordinated,andyetIcouldbarelythink.
Thisisthebestkissofmylife
Idecidedinthismomentthateverysinglekissbeforeitwaspatheticandshouldbeforgotten.Iwouldhavetoburnmyjournalentriesaboutthembecausetheydidn’tholdacandletothiskiss.
IfeltgiddyandslightlyintoxicatedasRaife’semotionsbegantobleedintomine.Helikedthekisstoo,morethanliked,buttherewasasadnesstheretoo,alwaysunderlyinghishappymoments.IwishedIcouldtakehispain,forever,notjustinthesemoments.
Hepulledawayfrommethen,panting.
Igrinned.“Ilookforwardtopracticingthatagaintomorrow.”
Thehalfcockedsmilehegavemecausedmystomachtoflipover.“AsdoI,Lani,asdoI.”
Turningaround,heleftandshutthedoor,leavingmewonderingifIwasinfactdatingmybetrothed.
IsleptbetterthatnightthanIhadallweek.SEVEN
ThenextmorningIwaseagertoseeRaife.Icouldn’tgetlastnight’skissoutofmymind.Howrealitfelt,whatitallmeant.Afterfryingupsomeeggsandelkinmeat,Isteppedintothediningroom.
Raifewastherehunchedoversomeparchmentsandmaps.
“Morning.”Ismiled,settingthefoodbeforehim.
“I’vegottoleavetownforafewweeks,”hesaidwithoutlookingupatme
Itriedtokeepthedisappointmentfrommyvoice.“Oh?”
“ThekingofEmbergate’swifeiswithchild.I’mgoingtodrawtheNightfallqueenintoaskirmishatoureasternbordertopullherattentionawayfromhimandhisnewwife.”
“That’sniceofyou.”Iwonderedwhyhewoulddothat,riskhisownmen’slives.
Raifeshovedsomeofthefriedeggintohismouthandchewed.“He’sachildhoodfriend,andhe’sagreedtojoinmyallianceinawaragainstthequeen.”
Inodded,slowlyeatingmyfoodwhileIwatchedhimwolfhisdown.Hestillhadn’tlookedatme.I’dwornaprettygreendressandIwashopinghe’dnotice.
“Oh,andsorryaboutlastnight.Iwasdrunkandbarelyrememberanything,”hesaidashetookthelastbiteofhisfood.
I’dheardthetermbrokenhearted,butneverreallyunderstoodituntilnow.Thecenterofmychestindeedcrackedopenathisflippantcommentabouttheamazingkisswe’dshared.
“Youdidn’tseemthatdrunk,”Isaid,placingmyforkontheplateandsuddenlylosingmyappetite.
“Alright.”Hestood,stillnotmeetingmygaze.“I’mofftotheeasternwallwiththeBowMen.Cancelmymeetingsforthenexttwoweeksandtakenotesformeonanythingurgentthatcomesup.YoucanbriefmewhenIgetback.”
Inodded,tryingnottophysicallyshrinkinonmyself.“Whowillfeedyou?Tasteforyou?”
Raiferestedahandonhisbow,whichhungonhisbelt,andfinallymetmygaze.Therewaspainthere.Ididn’tknowhoworwhybuthelookedlikehewassuffering.“I’manexperthunter.I’lleatfreshgameortheBowMenwilltasteforme.”
Iswallowedhard,tryingnottofeelunwanted.“Besafe,”wasallIcouldmutter,nowunabletolookathimeither.Ifeltlikeadiscardedpieceoftrash.Hewasn’tthatdrunk.I’dfeltthegiddinessofbeingtipsy.Butheremembered—Iknewherememberedthatkiss.
Bastard.
TherewasamotiontomyleftbutIkeptmyheaddowntomyplate.Warmlipsbrushedagainstmycheekandthenhewasgone.
***
Twoweeksofplanningafakeweddingforamanthatyouwereprettysureyou’dreallyfallenfor,whohadrejectedyou,sucked.Flowers,silktapestries,caketasting,itwasallovershadowedbythesupposedlyforgottenkiss.ChefBrulierwasback.Hismotherhadunfortunatelypassed,andthegrievingperiodwasover.We’dcomeupwithavanillalavendercustardcakethatwastrulyincredible,butnomatterhowmanyslicesIateIstillfeltlikecrap.
Thatkiss.Whydidthebastardkissmelikethatifhewasplanningonleaving?Andfakeforgettingthekissandthepacttopracticedaily…?
“Aargh!”IscreamedasIthrewmyaxeatthetree.WithnomoredailymeetingsscheduledI’dtakentocomingouttothewoodsandthrowingthings.Itwasdoingwondersformymood.
AtwigsnappedtomyleftandIspun.IttookmeasecondtofigureoutwhatIwasseeing.
“Autumn?”Igasped,mybrainunabletoplacewhymyneighborfromNightfallwasinArchmere.ShewascoveredinmudandtwigsandIcouldsmellherfromhere.Shereekedofburnedwoodandwascoveredinsoot.
Shelookedrelievedtoseeme.“Lani.”Sherushedforward,anddespitethemudandsootalloverher,Ipulledherinforahug.
“Whathappened?Whyareyouhere?”Iaskedher.
ShewastwoyearsolderthanmeandstudyingtobeamechanicalengineeratNightfallUniversity.“Youraunthasbeenworriedsickaboutyouforweeks.Iofferedtotravelhereandenquireaboutyourwhereabouts.ThenIwasnearlykilledatthebordertryingtocrossover.Apparently,asmallbattlehasbrokenoutthereandIwascaughtinthemiddle.”
Ohno,Raife’sskirmish.Nowondershe’dlookedlikeshe’dbeendraggedthroughthemudandfire.Sheprobablyhad.
Literally.
Autumn’ssister,ahuman,wasmarriedtoanelf.I’dforgottenthatuntiljustnow.Sheoftentraveledhereinsecrettovisitherniecesandnephews,sosheknewthelandwell.Ifshewascaught,thequeenwouldkillher.
“Soyou’re…partelf?”Shelookedatmecloser,hereyesgoingrighttomyroundedears.“Iheardthedebtorssoldyouintoslavery,andthenyouraunttoldmeaboutyourlineage.She’shopingthekingwouldbelenientwithoneofhisown.Thewholeneighborhoodhasbeenworriedsickaboutyou,Lani.”
Iopenedmymouthtospeakandshetookinmysilkcreamcoloreddresswithlightblueribbondetail,thenhergazefelltotheringonmymarriagefingerandshegasped.“ButIguessyou’remorethanokay.Lani,what’sgoingon?”
Iwasn’tpreparedtobeconfrontedwithmypast,andAutumnwastheclosestthingtoabestfriendIhad.
Iexhaled,runningmyfingersthroughmyhair.“Iwascaptured,soldasaslavetotheelfking,andthensomehowIbecamehispersonalassistantandnowwe’reengaged.”Igaveanervouslaugh.
Hermouthdroppedopen.“I’msorry.Didyoujustsayyouwereengagedtotheelfking?”
ItrustedAutumn,butifshewaseverinterrogatedaboutmeIdidn’twanthertohavetokeepanysecrets,soIdecidednottotellheritwasafakemarriage.Indoingthat,I’dhavetotellherabouttheking’swarwiththequeen,andIdidn’twanttodothatandjeopardizehisplans.
“HolyHades,Kailani!”shefinallyshrieked,grinning.“You’regoingtobecomethequeenoftheelves?”
Iswallowedhard.“Yeah.”
ShewasgrinningeartoearandIcouldn’thelpbutsmileback.“YourauntisgoingtoflipwhenItellher.”Shepulledanotefromherpocketandhandedittome.
“Howisshe?Theseizures?”Ilookedforsignsofworryonherface,butshenodded.
“She’sgreat.Themedicineisworking,she’sbeenseizurefreeandbackatwork.”
Thatwasgood,butthemedicinewouldrunoutsoon,sothekingwouldhavetomakegoodonhispromisetogetheroutofthererightafterthewedding.
“Hey,Autumn,doyouthinkyoucoulddrawmeamapofthesecretrouteyouusetosneakintoNightfall?IncaseIwanttoseemyaunt?”
Sheinstantlybristled.“Areyouaskingasmyfriend,Lani,orthefuturequeenofArchmere?”
Hades.Autumnwasn’taloyalNightfallhumanwhohatedmagicones,butshealsocouldn’tbekeenonbringingwartoherpeople.
Irolledmyeyes.“I’maskingasLani,yourchildhoodfriendwhowantstomakesuremyauntissafe.”Thatwasthetruth.
Shesmiled.“Imightbepersuadedoverdinner,maybewithsomeofthatfamouschocolateelfwineIhearsomuchabout?”Sheeyedthepalace,clearlywantingmetoinviteherin.
Iwasn’tsurewhatthekingorhiscouncilwouldthinkofmyhavingahumanfriendoverforlunch.Itwasn’tlikeinNightfall,whereallotherraceswereoutlawed,buthumanswerelookeddownuponherebecauseoftheirassociationwithourmortalenemy.
“Perfect,I’llgogetapicnicbasketandwecaneatinthegarden!Justwaithere.I’llberightback.”Igesturedtotherosebushesandaperfectgreenmeadowfortheblanket.
Shenodded,takingthehint,andmovedtogowaitinthegarden.
“I’llbringyoufreshclothestoo,”Itoldher.
Shewavedmeoff.“Don’tbother.Ihavetonsatmysister’splace.I’mgoingtherenext.”
“Alright,then.I’llberightback.”
Runningintothekitchen,Igrabbedlayeredpastries,smokedmeats,boiledeggs,spicytomatojam,andfreshfruits,shovingthemallinawickerbasket,andthenranbackouttomyfriend.IalsograbbedoneofRaife’sbottlesofchocolateelfwine.Hehadhundredsofthemandonlyseemedtoopenthemforguests.I’dactuallynevertastedthefamouswineinallmytimehereandwasexcitedtodoso.
***
ThreehourslaterIwasdrunkandcacklingunderthenightskywithmyoldestfriend.
Autumngrinned.“RememberwhenRobbiePantumtriedtotouchmyboobsinexerciseclassandyoubrokehisnose?”
Ilaughedhysterically,feelingtheheadyrushofthebuzzthethreeglassesofwinehadgivenme.NotonlywasitthetastiestwineI’deverhad,itwasstrong
“Hewasajerk.”IliftedmyemptyglassandAutumnclinkeditwithhers.We’dfinishedthebottleanhouragoandjustkeptclinkingemptyglasses.
“Istheelfkingdreamy?Howdidyoufallinlove?Tellmeabouthim?”Autumnflippedonherbellyandlookeddownatmewithpuppydogeyes.
Isighed.“Hislipsarelikepillowsandhegetsgrumpyalot.”
Autumnburstintolaughter,whichcausedmetocackle.Thenashadowcastoverhead,blockingoutthesettingsun.
IpeereduptofindRaifeLightstonehoveringoveruswithhisheadcockedtotheside,lookingdownatAutumnandIwithintrigue.
Autumnstaredatmewide-eyed.“Mr.PillowLips?”
Inodded,fearchasingsomeofmydrunkennessaway,butnotenough.WouldhebemadIwasdrinkingwithagirlfriendinhisgarden?Washebackfromthewarforgood?Washehurt?Didhehearmecallhimgrumpy?Somanyquestionsswirledinmyhead.
“Idon’tbelievewe’vemet?”ThekinglookeddownatAutumn,hisgazefallingtohershort-tippedearsjustasmygazefelltothehalf-dozenBowMenbehindhim.
Isatupquickly,immediatelyregrettingit,andswayedasthewinehitmefullforce.Whywasbeingdrunkwhilelyingdownsomucheasier?Themomentyouhadtowalk,thechallengessetin.
“Mylove,I’msogladyou’rehome!”Istoodandswayed,wideningmystancetokeepfromfalling.
Raifecaughtme,placingahandoneithersideofmyhipsandpullingmeclosetohischest.Ileanedforwardandplantedalightkisstohislips.ThenIlookedatAutumn.“Thisismydearchildhoodfriend,Autumn.Hersisterlivesintown,marriedtoanelf.”
Ifeltthekingrelaxunderme,asifhesuspectedmeofplottinghisassassinationwithherorsomething.“Hello,Autumn,it’sapleasure.WouldyoulikeoneofmyBowMentoescortyoutoyoursister’s?”
Autumnstood,stumbledalittle,andthensnickeredbeforesalutingRaife.“Yessir,Mr.PillowLips.”
Ihadtobitemycheekstokeepfromlaughing.
“Gethertohersister’ssafelyandreporttomewhenit’sdone,”RaifetoldoneofhisBowMen.
“Yes,myking,”hesaid,andthentherestofthemdispersed.
Nowthatwewerealone,Raifegazeddownatme,stillholdingmeinhisarms.Leaningforward,hesmelledmylips.“Chocolateelfwine?”
Inodded.“I’veneverhadit.”Nowthathewasthisclose,Ididn’twanthimtoletmego.Imissedhim;ittookmeuntilnow,inhisarms,torealizehowmuch.Tracingmyfingersdownhisneck,Isighed.“You’renotinjured.Iwasworried.”
Hisbreathingcameoutraggedandthenhisgazeflickedtothepicnicblanket.“What’sthat?”Hisvoicecouldcutglass.
Iturnedmyheadandpeeredatwhathewastalkingabout.
HewasstaringatthemapAutumnhaddrawnforme.
Ilookedupathimandgrinned.“Iwantsomethinginreturnfortellingyouwhatthatis.”
Hiseyesgrewevenmoresuspicious.“Likewhat?Money?”
Isnort-laughed,andthenfoughtforcomposure.Leaningin,Ibrushedmylipstohisear.“Akiss.”
Hiswholebodycoiledtightlikeasnake.“Whatisit,Kailani?”hegrowled
Icouldtellbyhistonehethoughtitsomenefariousthing.Heclearlyrecognizedhislandinthemap,andithurtthathedidn’ttrustme.
Pullingbacktolookintohiseyes,Ibrushedmyfingersoverhislips.“It’sanexactroutefromheretomyaunt’shouseinNightfallCity.AsecretroutethatAutumnhastakendozensoftimeswithoutgettingcaught.Ithoughtwecoulduseittoextractmyaunt,butalsotowinyourwarwhenit’stime.”
Hissharpintakeofbreathindicatedhisshock,andthenbeforeIknewithislipswereonmine.AmoanofpleasurerippedfrommythroatandIthreadedmyfingersthroughhishair.Ourtonguessearchedforeachotherwithahungryneed,strokingsoftlyandthenhard.Thesefewweeksapart,afterthatlastkissinmyapartment,hadbeenhell.ItwasallI’dthoughtabout.Ipressedmybodytohisandheplacedhishandonmylowerback,dippingmebackwardsashelaidmedownontheblanket.
Iallowedhimto,andlaybackwardsasheloweredhimselfontopofme.Ihadabouttwosecondstocareifsomeonesawusandthoughtitimproper—andthenrealizedIsimplydidn’tcare.Iwasasoon-to-bequeenmakingoutwithherbetrothed.Nothingtoseehere.Movealong.
Raife’shandslippedundermydress,firstnearmyankle,andthenslowlytrailedupmyshin,overmykneetotheouterthigh.Forawildsecond,allIcouldthinkaboutwaswhenthelasttimeI’dshavedwas,andthenhegraspedmyhip,moaningdeeplyintomyopenmouth.Iswallowedthesound,feelingtheheadydizzinessofelfwinecombinewithlustfulthoughtsofconsumingeachother.
Hepulledbackandlookeddownatmesadly.“You’redrunk,”hesaidalmostdisappointedly.
Ishookmyhead,openingmyeyesreallywideinanefforttoappearsober.“I’msuperclearheaded.”
Hechuckled,runningafingerdownmychest.“Youknowwhatelfwinedoestohumans?”
Whocares,justtakeme.Righthereunderthemoonlight,Iwantedtosay.
“Huh?”Itracedhissharpjawline,imaginingrunningmytonguealongit.
Hesighed,pullinghishandfromundermydressandthencreasingthefabricdownflat.“Itrobsthemoftheirmemorieswhiledrunk.YouandyourfriendAutumnwon’trememberanyofthistomorrow.”
Dreadsettledinmygut.Notrememberthisamazingkiss?Thatwascriminal.“I’monlyhalfhuman,”Iremindedhim,dizzinesswashingovermeasIclosedoneeyeinanefforttoseeRaife’sfacebetter.
Heshookhishead,smiling.“Let’sgetyoutobed.”
OnesecondIwaslyingflatonmybackandthenextIwasbeinghauledupintohisarms.
“Themap!”Iturnedtolookattheblanket.
“Inmypocket,”hetoldme.
Irelaxed,restingmyheadagainsthischest,listeningtotheboomboomofhisheart.BeingthisclosetohimIcouldfeelwhathewasfeeling.Adoration,fear,loyalty
“Whatareyouafraidof?”Iaskedsleepilyastheelfwinetriedtopullmeunder.
Hebristled,sayingnothingashenavigatedthehallsofthecastle.Whenhegottomyroom,heopenedthedoorandsetmeonmybed,pullingoffmyshoesandcoveringmewithmyblanket.
Leaningintomyear,hewhispered,“You.I’mafraidofyou.You’rethekindofwomanIcouldlosemyselfin.”
Icouldfeelmyeyebrowsknittogetherinthecenterofmyforehead.Everythingwasblurryandmywordsfeltlikemishmashinmyhead.Iwantedtosaysomethingbackbutcouldn’t.Footstepsretreated,andthenthedoorshut.
Eh,besttotalkaboutittomorrowwhenIwasmoreclearheaded.
***
ThenextmorningIwokeupfeelinglikeI’dfallenoffahorseandhadthenbeenpunchedintheface.Iopenedoneeye,sawthatIwasinmydressfromyesterday,andmoaned.
WhattheHadeshadhappenedlastnight?AllIrememberedwashavingafunpicnicwithAutumn,thendrinkingtoomuchelfwine.
Everythingwasfuzzyafterthat.
Withasigh,Isatupandwentthroughthemotionsofgettingready.Notinthemoodtodressup,Idecidedtoleavemyhairdownandwavy,andappliednomakeup.Ialsodidn’tbotherwithafancydress.Thekingwasoutoftownanyway;allofhismeetingswouldbecanceled.InsteadIworeaknee-lengthbluesundresswithnofrills.
Grabbingmyangelromancebook,IshuffledovertothekitchentoseewhatChefBrulierhadmade.WhenIenteredthekitchen,helookedatmyhairandoutfit,astarkcontrasttohowInormallydressed,andraisedaneyebrow.
“Toomuchelfwine,”Imumbled.
Hesmiledalittle.“Breakfastisalreadyonthetablewaiting.”
“Thanks.”Iwavedhimoff.Itwasnicenottohavetocookallthemealsanymorenowthathewasback.
Openingmybook,IstartedtoreadasIpushedopenthedoorstotheking’spersonaldininghall,andgotabouthalfwayintotheroombeforeRaifespoke.
“Goodmorning,Kailani.”
Ifroze,slowlylookingupfromthebooktoseehimsittinginfrontofthetwoplatesoffood.Asmallvaseoffreshflowershadbeensetbetweenthem.
“You’reback.”Isnappedthebookshutandsetitonthetable,takingmyhairintomyhandsandstartingtobraiditinanefforttofreshenmyappearance.
HisfacefellandhesuddenlylookedlikeI’dshothishorse.“Yeah…Igotbacklastnight.Youdon’tremember?”
OhMaker.DidIseehimwhenIwasdrunkorsomething?
“Rememberwhat?”Iasked,mystomachdropping.
Hisjawclenched,anditwaslikeawallhadgoneuparoundhim.“Givingmethismap?”hesaid,andlaiditonthetable.
Iglancedatthemap,rememberingaskingAutumntodrawit,butnotthatshedidorthatI’dgivenittotheking.
“I’msorry,Idon’trecallthat.”
Henoddedcurtly.“Well…that’sprobablyforthebest.Hey,youshouldtastethefoodbeforeitgetscold.Wehaveaweddingplanningmeetingwiththecouncil.”
Iswallowedhard,walkingovertothetableandsatdown,wordlesslyputtingthefoodinmymouth.Icouldn’tescapethefeelingthatIwasmissingsomething.Ihadn’tseenhiminweeksandthiswasthewelcomeIgot?Ieyedtheking,gladtoseehewasn’tbleedingorbruisedanywhere.
“I’mgladtoseeyou’renotinjured,”Itoldhim.
Henodded.“Yourfriendgaveusagoldmineindrawingthismap.Didyouknowthequeendoesn’tboltherstormdrainsdown?Ithinkthat’showyourfriendgetsinandoutofthecastlewalls.”
Hepointedtothedrawingofadrainonthemap.Ileanedforward,butbecauseIhadn’ttiedoffmybraid,myhairunfurledandfellinfrontofhisface.
“Sorry.”Ituckeditoveroneshoulder.
Helookedupatmewithsearingblueeyes.“Ilikeyourhairdown,”wasallhesaid,andIswallowedhard.
“Timeup?I’mstarved,”hefinallysaid.We’dmovedtheone-minutewaittothreeafterthequeen’slastpoisonhadlastedlonger.
Iglancedatmypocketwatchandnodded.
Somethingfeltdifferentbetweenus.Icouldn’texplainit,buthefeltdistant,andIdidn’tknowwhattodoaboutit.
Leaningforward,Ipressedmylipstohisearandhestiffened.
“I…missedyou,”Itoldhim,reachingforhishand.Ipulledbacktolookathimexpectantly.Twoweekswithouthimhadbeenhard,especiallyafterthatamazingkisswesharedwhenhe’dbeendrunk.Iwasn’tsurewhereIstoodwithhimandIdidn’tlikethat.Ididn’twanttobehotandcold.
Heglancedupfromoneofhisparchmentsasifhehadn’theardme,andpulledhishandfrommine.“I’vegottagooversomewarmapsandit’sgoingtotakeupthewholetable,so…youmindeatinginthekitchen?”
Hisicyrejectioncutmetomycore.IhadtobitetheinsideofmycheektokeepfromcryingasIstoodandgrabbedmyplate.Turning,Ibookeditforthekitchen.
“Kailani?”hecalledasIwalkedaway.
Ispun.“Yes?”Therewashopeinmyvoice,hopethatthekisswesharedbeforehelefthadmeantsomethingtohim,drunkornot.
“Don’tforgetyourbook.”HegesturedtowhereI’dleftthebookonthetable.
Wow
ItwasclearIwastheonlyonewhoenjoyedthatkiss,ormaybehislieaboutnotrememberingitwasn’talie.Becausehecertainlywasn’tactinglikeamanwhowantedmorekissesfromme.Thiswasafakemarriage,andIneededtostopcaringandtreatingitasotherwise.
Iblastedthroughthedoubledoorsandslammedmyplateonthecounter.ChefBrulierlookedatmebutsaidnothingasIangrilyscarfeddownmyfood.
RaifeLightstonewouldcursethedayherejectedmelikethat.EIGHT
OurweddingdayarrivedandIvowedtospendthenextfiveyearsofourmarriagemakingRaifethinkofmeineverysexualwaypossible.Thisbastardwasgoingtobegforit—andthenIwasgoingtodenyhim.LethimfeelthecrushingrejectionasIhadtwoweeksagotothisday.
Wasitmaturesoon-to-bequeenlybehavior?No
DidIcare?Nope
Ifhewantedtoplaymindgames,I’dthrowhisheadforaspin.
SomehowRaifeandIhadbarelyspentanytimetogetherthepasttwoweeksasIwasbusyplanningtheweddingandhewasworkinghardattheinfirmaryandplanninghiseventualwarwiththequeen.Icouldn’tbelievethatinjustafewshorthoursIwouldbeRaife’swifeandqueenofArchmere.Peopleweretravelingfromallovertherealmtoattendthegrandevent.Whitesilktentshadbeenerectedinthepalacegardens,andfloralgarlanddrapedovereverysurfaceofthecastle.
Itwasprettymagicalforafakewedding.
Standingonapodium,Isighed,lostinmythoughtswhiletheseamstresspulledandproddedatmydress.Themakeupattendantdustedmycheekswithsomereflectiveshimmerandthenbrushedarosypinklipstainacrossmylips.
“Mylady,youlooksobeautiful,”themakeupattendantsaid.“Areyouexcited?”
Ilookedatherandputonafakesmile.“Bestdayofmylife,”Ilied.
Icouldn’tgetRaife’sdismissalofmeoutofmyhead.Whatwaswrongwithhim?Heclearlylikedmeatonepoint,right?He’dcalledmepretty,toldmemyhairlookedbetterdown,complimentedmydresses,andevengotmadwhenhewasworriedaboutmysafety.Mymindchewedonwhatthenextfiveyearsofmylifewouldbelikeasweapproachedcloserandclosertothehourofmywedding.
Anotherhourdronedbyandtheseamstress,andthehairandmakeupladiesfinallysteppedawayfromme,massagingtheirhands.
“You’reready,”theysaidinunison.
Isteeledmyselfastheywalkedmeovertoafull-lengthmirror.
WhenIsawmyownreflection,Igasped.I’dneverlookedthisbeautifulinmyentirelife.Whatevershe’ddonetomyeyes,themakeupmadethempopandlookwider.Theshimmeronmycheeksaccentuatedmyheart-shapedface,andmylipslookedplumpandkissable.
Butthedresswastherealheadturner.I’dsketchedoutthedesignbutSamarahhadreallymadeitcometolife.ThenecklinewasadeepV,notdeepenoughtobeimproperbutenoughforRaifetonoticetheshadowofthetopofmycleavage.Thesleeveswereadramaticfloor-dustinglengthofwhitelace,andthedresshuggedmywaistinwhitesilkbeforebellingoutandtrailingbehindmeagoodtenfeet.Themakeupattendantrushedforwardwithherlittleshimmerbrushanddabbeditonmycleavage,givingmeawink.
Iburstintolaughter,tearssuddenlyliningmyeyesasIwasovercomewithemotion.
Iknewitwasafakeagreement,butforahalfsecondIwishedmyauntiecouldbehere.Growingupwithoutparents,myauntwasallIhad,andeventhoughitwasn’trealitmightbetheonlyweddingIeverhad.Nomanwasgoingtowantmeafterthekingdivorcedme.Sure,Imightfindsomeonetosharecompanionshipwith,butexesofroyaltywerenevertolegallymarryagain.Itwaslikeweneededtobeinmourningfortherestofourlivesafterweweredumped.ThismightbemyonlyshotwalkingdowntheaisleandsayingIdoformally.
“Thankyou,”Icroaked,dabbingatthecornerofmyeyes.
Theyallcurtsiedtome,whichwassoweird,andthengatheredtheirthings.Isatthereforanotherhour,reading,sweatingandjustgenerallyfreakingout,whenaknockcameatthedoor.
IfigureditwasMrs.Tirthtocomeandbringmetotheballroomwheretheweddingwouldtakeplace,butwhenIpulledbackthedoor,IstoppedbreathingwhenIsawRaife.
Heworeablacksilktunicthathungpasthisknees.Itwasembroideredwithashinysilverthreadinatypicalelvinswirldesign.Hishairwasbraidedintosixsmallbraidsinfront,andthenitwasallpulledbackinathickponytailatthenapeofhisneck.HelookedsexierthanI’deverseenhim,andItotallyforgothowtospeak.
Ijuststaredathim,watchinghimgazeatme.Neitherofusspoke.
“Umm,hi.”Ifinallyfoundmywords.“Doyou…wanttocomein?”
Whywashehere?We’dbarelyspokenthepasttwoweeks.Washegoingtocallitoff?Myhearthammeredinmychest.
Raife’sgazeranfrommyfaceslowlydownmybodyunabashedlyashefullycheckedmeout.“I…don’tthinkIshould.It’sbadluck,right?”Healsoseemedatalossforwords.
Ilaughed.“It’sbadlucktoseeme.Toolateforthat.”
Herubbedhishandstogether,lookingupintomyeyeswithadepththatgavemechills.
“Ijustwantedto…thankyou.Fordoingthis.Iknowitcan’tbeeasyforyou…you’reagoodfriend,”hesaid.
Aslicewentthroughmychest.Itwaslikewitheachmutteroftheword“friend”hewassurgicallyremovingmyheart.
“That’sme…agreatfriend,”Imuttered.ThiswastheworstideaI’deverhad.WhilehewascommendingmyfriendshipIwasdreamingofrippingthatsilktunicoffandbeddinghim.
Herushedforwardthen,takingmeintohisarmsandpressingmetohischest.Hejust…heldme.Itwasthedeepest,longesthugI’devergottenfromanyone,anditnearlybroughtmetotears.Therewasnopassionatekiss,noseductivefeelingscomingoffofhim;itwasallrespectandloyalty,andmyheartmeltedalittle.“I’llneverforgetthis.Whatyou’vegivenme.Achanceatjusticeformyfamily,”hewhisperedinmyear.
Isighed,relishingbeinginhisarmsandalsohatingit.Iwantedsomuchmorethanhewascapableofgiving.Itmademesad,butIwouldbelyingifIdidn’tadmitthatitwasanhonortohelpRaifegetthejusticehedeservedforhisfamily.
“It’smypleasure,Raife,”Itoldhim,andwhenhefinallyreleasedmehewassmiling.
“Seeyasoon,then.”Hewavedawkwardlyandbackedoutoftheroom.Whenhestoppedinthedoorway,helookedmeupanddownagain.“You’rethemostbeautifulbrideI’veeverseen,”hesaid,andthenleft.
Whydidhedothat?Callmeafriendonesecondandthenbeautifulthenext?Didn’theknowthetortureitcausedme?
Ishutthedoorandthendroppedmyforeheadagainstthehardwood.
Why?WhydidIagreetothisfakemarriage?Iwashorribleatfollowingdirections.I’dclearlygoneandfallenforhim.
AlightknockrappedatthedoorandIpeeledmyfaceawayfromit,yankingitbackwardswithhopethathe’dcomebacktokissmeorsomething.WhenIsawMrs.Tirth,myfacefell.
“Oh,hi.”
Theleadhousemaidputahandonherhip.“Oh,hi?Youlookbeautiful!Whythelongface?”
Iswallowedandthengaveanervouslaugh.“I’mjustanxious.Therewillbealotofpeoplethere,”Itoldher.
Shenodded.“Butthekingwillbetheretogetyouthroughit.He’susedtothesebigevents.”Shereachedoutandclaspedmyhands.“Leanonhim.He’syourlifepartnernow.Youtwowillneedeachother.”
IhatedthatI’dagreedtothis.Afakemarriage.Itwasstartingtofeelreal.Lineswereblurringandpeopleweregoingtogethurt.
AndbypeopleImeantme.
IwasgoingtogethurtandtherewasnothingIcoulddoaboutit.RaifewasgoingtogoafterthequeenwhetherImarriedhimornot.He’dfindsomeoneelsetoappeasehiscouncil,andthenmyauntwouldbestuckinawar-torncountry.Icouldn’tletthathappen.Iwouldn’tletRaifedown.WhenI’dsuggestedthefakemarriageinthebeginning,ithadbeenoutofadutytoRaife.Ashisassistant,Itookmyjobseriously,butI’dneverthoughthewouldsuggestmeforthepart.
“Ready?”Mrs.TirthheldherarmouttomeandInodded.
Aswetraversedthehalls,Icouldn’thelpbutfeelasomberresonancesettleintomybones.Thedrippingflowerseverywhereandthemagicalharpmusicplayinginthegarden…Itriedtojustenjoythebeautyoftheday,evenifitwasn’tunfoldingexactlyhowIwanteditto.
Wepassedtheexittothegardenonourwaytothemainhall,andInoticedthatthesilktentswerealreadyfullofpeople.
“Overflowcrowdthatcouldn’tfitintheballroom.Youwillgreetthemafter,beforethereception,”Mrs.Tirthtoldme.
Inodded.Iwasgoingtobeaqueennow.Dutycamebeforecomfort.
Whenwereachedthecloseddoorsoftheballroom,mystomachclenched.Thiswasit.Therewasnoturningbacknow.IfIdidthis,ItiedmylifetoRaife’sforever.Longafterwedivorcedtherewouldbeastainonmyheart.ThatonetimeIfake-marriedthekingwouldbeafunnystorythatturnedtooreal.
“Congratulations,”CouncilmanHaigsaidbehindmeandIstiffened,snappingmyselffrommythoughts.
Iswallowedhardandplantedahugesmileonmyface.“Thankyou,sir.”
Therestofthecouncilfannedoutbehindmeandmyheartjumpedintomythroat.
Thiswasit.Thismomentwouldchangeeverything.Sadnesstriedtoworkitswayintomychestthen,forthewarthathadyettobewon,fortheheartIhadnotcaptured.ButIpusheditawayandnoddedtoMrs.Tirth.
Raifeneededme,andalthoughhedidnotcareformeinthewaythatIhadgrowntocareforhim,Iwouldn’tdeserthimnow.He’dbeenabandonedbyhisfamilyatayoungage,notwillinglybutabandonednonetheless.Iwouldnotdothattohimnow.Evenifitkilledme,evenifitleftscarsonmyheartthatwouldneverheal,IwouldnotdesertRaifeLightstone.Iwasloyaltohimtotheend.
***
Thedoorsopenedandthemagicalharpmusicstarted.AnairyvoicetrilledthroughoutthespaceandIfollowedthesoundtoanelvinwomanwhostoodinthecorneroftheroomasshesangawordlesstune.HerlackoflyricsmadethesongallthemorebeautifulasIwalkeddowntheaisleofpeople.Irecognizedafewfaces—BowMeninuniformwiththeirwivesandchildren,castlestaff,andthefamiliesofthedaughtersIhadconsideredmarryingRaifeoffto.
Ithadallcomefullcirclenow.OutofmyperipheryIcouldseeRaifestandingattheendoftheaisle.Ipurposelydidnotmeethisgaze;Iwasn’treadytodosoyet.Smilingatthosewhohadcome,IrecognizedAutumninthecrowdwithhersisterandgaveheralittlewave.BeforeIknewit,I’dreachedtheendandmymomentoftruthwashere.
You’reagoodfriend.
Thosewordswouldhauntme,andyettheyweretrue.Ilookedup,andtheexpressiononRaife’sface,theemotionscomingoffofhim,theystolemybreath.
Hiseyeswereslightlyhoodedasheswallowedhard,andreachedforme.Takingbothofmyhandsintohis,Iwashitwithanoverwhelmingsenseofadorationandlust.
RaifeLightstonewantedtobedmejustasmuchasIwantedtobedhim.He’dbeenhidingitbeforebuthecouldn’tnow,notinthismomentwithalleyesonmeandhowbeautifulhethoughtIlooked.Icouldfeelhisemotionsleakingintometoostrongly,andmystomachheated.
Thischangedeverything.
Myplantobealoyalfriendtotheendpivotedtoaplantoexposethathewashidinghisfeelingsforme.Iwasgoingtomakehimadmitit,toseethatnomatterhowscaredhewaswewouldgetthroughittogether.
Themusicdieddown,andasIheldhisgazehisfeelingsoflustandromancequicklyturnedtofearandregret.Ibitdownonmycheek,hatingthatIhadthisgifttofeelwhatotherswerefeeling.Hisemotionsquicklyspiraledintopanicasthepriestbegantheblessingofourunion,andIreachedupandstrokedthesideofhisface.
“Wegotthis.Together,”Iwhispered.
ItwaslikeI’ddousedafireinwater.Heinstantlyrelaxed,hisstormyemotionssubsidingintodecisiveaction.Intheentireone-hourunionblessing,Ididnotbreakawayfromhisgaze.Iwatchedashewaffledbetweenwantingtorunoutofhereandwantingtokissme,andIheldhishandstightly,feelingthesamething.
Whenthepriestfinallyplacedthegiantflowergarlandoverthebothofus,encirclingustogether,Raife’shandsrelaxedinmine.
“KingLightstone,pleasedeclarepubliclytoallofthesewitnessesyourintentiontomarryandcareforyourbetrothed.”Thepriest’svoicewascalmandsmooth,anythingbuthowIfelt.
Raifeclearedhisthroat,andbrokemygazeforthefirsttimesinceI’denteredtheroom.“I,RaifeLightstone,intendtomarry,carefor,anddevoteallofmytimeandeffortintomakingKailaniRoseDulanehappy,healthy,andprosperous.”
Eventhoughitwasacannedphrasesaidforthousandsofyearsamongtheelvinpeoplewhomarried,tearsprickedtheedgesofmyeyesnonetheless.
ThepriestlookedatmeandIstaredouttothecrowd.“I,KailaniRoseDulane,intendtomarry,carefor,anddevoteallofmytimeandeffortintomakingKingRaifeLightstonehappy,healthyand…”Ipaused.“Moreprosperous?”
Thecrowderuptedintolaughter,andeventheedgesofRaife’slipcurled.Iwasgladforthecomedicmoment,becausewhatcamenexthadmystomachtyingupintoknots.Woulditbeasmallmodestpeckforthecrowd’senjoyment,oranearnestkissfromhisheart?
Thepriestraisedhisarms.“DoIhavetheblessingoftheelvincouncil?”heasked.
Ilookedtotheside,wherethecouncilsatinhigh-backedchairs,andonebyonetheynoddedtheirheads.
“MaytheMakerblessthisunionforagestocome,”thepriestsaid,andthecrowdwentwild.“Myking,youmaykissyourqueen.”
Ifacedhim,holdingmybreath,andwatchedasindecisioncrossedhisfeatures.
Ifeltitthen.Tendrilsofsorrowworkeditswayintohisenergyanddousedusboth.Hewasholdinghimselfbackforfearoffallingforme.Watchinghisentirefamilydieleftascaronhissoul,onethatwouldnotallowhimtoloveanother.
Yet.
Leaningforward,hegraspedthesidesofmyfaceandpressedhislipstomine.Thekisswasn’tasbriefasIthoughtitmightbe,butitwasstillpainfullyshort.Knowinghowkissinghimcouldbe,thisfeltlikeanafterthought,anditwashardnottobesaddenedbyit.
Thecrowddidn’tseemtomind,asclapsandcheersrangthroughoutthespace.Raifepulledawayfrommeandthenslippedhishandintomine,strokingmypalmandraisingourinterlockedfingersintotheair.
Helookedatthecouncilwithabigsmilethatsaid,SeeI’mmarried.Nowwillyouapprovemywar?
Itwasadoubleevent:weddingandcoronation.Thepriestthencrownedmeasqueen,somethingIstillcouldn’tevenprocess.WhenhesetthecrownonmyheadandItookmyvowtoprotectArchmereandprosperitatallcosts,thegatheredpeopleclappedandscreamedsoloudlythewindowsshook.
Ifeltslightlynumbaswewalkedthroughthecrowds,wavingandfakesmiling.AllthewhileIjustwantedthemannexttometogivemesomethingIwasn’tsurehewascapableof.IclungtoRaifeasthethrongspressedinonus,andIpickeduponalloftheirelatedenergy.Despitetheoverwhelmingnatureofit,thenightwasbeautiful.WeateawonderfulmealthatMrs.Tirthtasted—thejobwasnolongermineasaqueencouldn’tbefoodtastingforherhusband;itwasn’tproper.Wedancedandwalkedforhoursthroughthethrongsofelvinpeopleastheyshowereduswithpraiseandwellwishes,andbeforeIknewitwewerebeingusheredbackintoRaife’sbedroom.
TwoBowMenstoodlikesentinelsoneithersideofthedoor.Raifegavethemanodandledmeinside.Itwasnearmidnight,andIwastired,butIhadcompletelyforgottentotalktoRaifeaboutourlivingarrangements.He’dbrieflydiscussedsharingabedroomforthefirstyearsothatthecouncildidn’tgetwindofanyissues,andthensleepingapartafterthewarwasfundedanddone.NowthatIwasconfrontedwithsharingaroom,Ifeltawholehostofemotionsrushthroughme.
ThelasttimeI’dglimpsedintothisplace,therehadbeenawomanstreakingacrossit.Myeyesflittedoverthelargefour-posterbedtotheleft.Therewasagiantrugandfireplacetotheright,androwsandrowsofbookshelves.Infrontofthefireplacewasalargesofaandreadingchair.Inoticedtheroomdidn’thaveanywindows,whichIassumedwasforsafety,buttherewereplentyoflightssoitdidn’tfeeldark.AssoonasRaifeclosedthedoor,hewalkedovertoawardrobeonthefarwallandpulledapillowandblanketfromit.Hebroughtitovertothesofaandstartedtomakethebed.
Okay…thatansweredthatquestion.
“Itwasaniceday.Everyonelookedhappy,”Isaid,tryingtoshakeoffthenervesIwasfeeling.
Henodded.“Thecouncilseemspleased,andthepeoplefeelsecureinthefuturebloodlineofthemonarchy.”
Itwasaroboticresponse,onethatwasverymuchfocusedonthedutyoftheweddingandnottheemotionsofitall.Iunderstood.Thiswasabusinessarrangementtohim,orhadbegunasone.IpeeredatmydressinggownonthebedthatMrs.Tirthmusthavebroughtover,andblushed.Lookingovermyshoulder,Ispiedthewashroomdoorandscoopedupthedressinggown.
Therewereabouttwentybowsthattiedupthebackofmycorset,allindividuallyknottedbymydressingmaids,andIknewIwouldn’tbeabletoreachthem.IwalkedovertoRaifeandclearedmythroat.Whenhelookedupatme,therewasacuriosityinhisgaze.
“Ittookaboutthreepeopletogetmeintothisdress.Ineedhelpwiththeback,”Itoldhim,feelingheatrisinginmycheeks.
HenoddedandIspunaround,givinghimmyback.WhenIfelttheheatofhisbodybehindme,myeyesflutteredclosed.Helaidawarmhandonmyrightshoulderforleverageandthenonebyonepulledthebowsofmycorset.Witheachundoing,mytopgotlooserandIinhaledadeepbreath.PainforbeautywastotallyathingIembracedonspecialoccasions,andthiswasoneofthem.Iwassuretohaveindentationsonmyribs,butthisdresswasthemostbeautifulgarmentIowned,soitwasworthit.
WithRaife’shandpressedtomyshoulder,Icouldfeelhisemotions.Hewasn’tmakinganyefforttohidethem.Lust,desire,respect,andfear.Alwaysfear
Whenhegothalfwaydownmyback,thesleevesslippedoffandImadenoefforttopullthembackup.Heremovedhisrighthand,lettingthefabriche’dbeenholdingupfall.ThefrontofmydresswassuddenlyatmywaistandIstoodtoplessfacingthebookcase.Myeyeswerestillclosed,myhearthammeringinmychestasItookashakybreath.
Ishouldcovermyselfandwalktothewashroom.Ishouldmakeanefforttopullmysleevesupandactshockedatmyunexpectednakedness.Ididn’t.Becauseinsteadofturningaway,Raifepressedclosertome.Hisbodywassuddenlyflushagainstmine,andthenhisbreathwasonmyneck.Heatbloomedbetweenmylegsinanticipation.Foranagonizingtensecondshehoveredovermyneckjustbreathing,andIwantedtoreachupandgrasphishair,yankinghimdowntokissmyflesh.ButIknewIcouldn’trushhim.Thetumultofemotionsrushingthroughhimwassomethinghehadtofigureouthimself.
Theunderlyingemotionwasfear.JustwhenIcouldn’ttakeitanymore,hislipskissedmyneckandImoaned,tippingmyheadbackintohim.HishandscamearoundtocupmybreastsandIturnedmyhead,bringingmymouthtohis.
Thekisswehadthatnightwhenhewasdrunkwasnothingcomparedtotheonehegavemenow.Thiskisswashungry,achingandutterlyall-consuming.Ourgreedytonguescaressedeachother,andthenallofasuddenhepulledawayfromme.Iwhimperedwhenheflippedmearoundtofullyfacehim.Ipanted,outofbreathandunsurewhattodo.
Hisgazewassavageinthatmoment.AndthenIfeltit.Acascadeoffearwashedoverme,comingfromhim.
Isteppedclosertohim,reachingforhim.
“Whatareyousoafraidof?”
Heshookhishead,placinghishandovermyflitteringheart,rightbetweenmynakedbreasts.“Fallinginlovewithyou.Losingyou.Beinginsideyou.Notbeinginsideyou.Everythingaboutyouscaresme,Lani.”Hiswordsweresoraw,sofulloftruth,Icouldn’thelpbutrespectthem.
Isteppedcloser,cuppingbothsidesofhisjaw.“Letmeloveyou.”Istaredintohiseyes,notevensurewhatthatsentencemeant,whatIwasreallytryingtosay.Itjusttumbledoutofme.Ipressedmyselfevencloser,slippingmyfingersdownthefrontofhistrousers.“Letmetakecareofyou.”Ikissedhisneck.“Healyou.”
Igrabbedhishardnessandthenpressedmylipstohischeek,abouttospeakagain,whenhisarmswrappedaroundmywaisttightlyandthenIwasliftedupintotheair.Ipulledmyhandfromhiswaistbandandstraddledhimashewalkedmewithpurposetothebed.
Whenwereachedit,hetossedmeonthemattressandhelpedmeshimmyoutofmydress.Standingoverme,hegazeddownatme,allofme,andhiseyesglittered.“Ifweconsummatethismarriage,itwillbehardertogetoutof.”
Idon’twantout,Iwantedtosay,butkeptmymouthshut.“Ilikeachallenge,”Isaidforhisbenefit.Gettingtooserioustooquicklywouldonlyscarehimoff.
Hiseyeshooded,andthenheloweredhimselfontopofme,showingmejustwhatitfeltliketobebeddedbyRaifeLightstone.EverybitofitwasasmindblowingasIimagined.
Every.Single.Bit.NINE
Atthewedding,theBowMenhadinvitedRaifeandItothebeachesofArchmeretowatchasailingcompetitiontheverynextday.ThemarriedBowMenwerebringingtheirwivesandtherewouldbebeachgamesandsuntanning.Itsoundedfun.I’dgoneaheadtoSamarah’sthismorningandhadhersewmeatwo-pieceswimsuitliketheonesweworeinNightfall.IhopeditgaveRaifeaheartattack.Sincebeddingonourweddingnightlastnight,Raifehadsoftened.Kisseshereandthereatbreakfast,holdinghands,sayingsweetthings.Hewasallowinghimselftofeelhisemotionswithoutbeingafraidofwhattheywoulddo,andthatmademehappierthanI’deverbeen.AllIwantedwasforustogivethisarealchance.Letitbewhatitcouldbe.
TherewasaknockatourbedroomdoorandIopenedittofindRaifewithhisnoseshovedinatypographybook.
“Ready?”heaskedwithoutglancingup.
“Yep,”Iannounced.
Helookedupthen,andhiseyesranovermysundress.Inormallyworetheformalfloor-lengthgownswithheavyembellishments,butthatwouldberidiculousforabeacheventandsuntanning.InsteadIhadonashortlittlesundressthatcamewellabovetheknee.Itwasinathinpurplesilk,myfavoritecolor,andthenecklinedippedlow,givingasmallpeepofmycleavage.
“Icanwaitwhileyougetdressed,”hesaidjokingly.
Ilaughed,throatyandsarcastic.“Oh,darling,Iamdressed.”
Hiseyesnarrowed,goingfrommycleavagetomybarelegs,andIwasdelightedtofeelalittlejealouslycomingoffofhim.
“Oops,Ialmostforgot.”Iranovertomywardrobeandgrabbedthelargewide-brimmedwhitehat.“NowI’mready.”
Raifetookinadeepbreathandthenexhaled,holdingthedooropenasIpassed.IswearwhenIbrushedupagainsthim,hesmelledme.“Youkillme,”hebreathed,andIjustgrinned.
Missionaccomplished
***
Itwasanactivehorseandcarriageridetotheocean.Ourcarriagesatsixwithatableinbetween.RaifeandIsatacrossfromeachotherandthereweretwoothercouples.Raife’stopBowMen,AresandCahal,playedacardgamewithhim,andIsatnexttotheirwives,BaylieandNaia,talkingaboutfashion.
“Weweresosadwhenyoucouldn’tcometocraftnight,”Bayliesaid.“Ihopeyou’refeelingbetter?”
IeyedRaife.He’dtoldthemIwassickandtheyboughtit?Raifewasthegreatesthealerintheland.Wouldtheynotthinkhewouldhealme?
“Muchbetter,thanks,”Itoldher.
Overthecourseofourcarriageride,IlearnedthatBayliewasthechattyredheadwhoknittedandNaiawasthequieterblondewholikedtosew.BothwereextremelywelcomingandIwasrelievedtoseethatthehemoftheirdresseswasalsoshort.Ihadnoideaaboutbeingqueen,butdressingappropriatewhilealsosexywasmygoal.
“Ilovethatneckline.”NaiapointedtothebeadingI’daskedSamarahtoadd.Itsparkledanddrewtheeye.
“Thankyou,”Isaid.
Wetalkedabouttheweddingandhowdivinethecakewasandotherlighttopics.AllinallIwasfeelingprettyrelaxedbythetimewereachedthebeach.Thecarriagecametoastopandtheboysexitedfirstbeforereachingoutahandtoeachofus.WhenItookRaife’shand,Istartedtodescendandthetipofmysandalcaughtthelipofthecarriagestep.OnesecondIwasgracefullyexitingaroyalcarriageforabeachdatewithmynewhusbandtheking,andthenextIwasflailing.AshriekrippedfrommylipsasItumbledforward,readytofaceplant.Raiferepositionedhimself,graspingmyhipstightlyandliftingmeuplikeIwasmadeofparchment.Whenhesetmebackdownbeforehim,Ireachedoutandgrabbedhisshoulderstosteadymyself.
“Thanks,”Imumbled.
Howhumiliating.NotonlyweretheBowMenandtheirwiveslookingatme,butsowashalfthebeach.ThefirsttimethepeoplemeetthenewqueenandIcouldn’tevenexitacarriageproperly.Iwantedtodie.
“SorryifIembarrassedyou,”IwhisperedtoRaife.
Heleanedforward,brushinghislipsalongmyneckuntiltheywereupagainstmyear.“Youcouldneverembarrassme,Lani,”hesaid,andmystomachdropped
Withthat,heslippedhishandintomine,strokingmypalmwithhisthumb,andescortedmetothebeach.
WepassedsomemarketstallsthathadbeensetupandIpeeredattheitems.Someartisansweresellingcraftsmadeofseashells,andsomeofthetentswerefoodstalls.Itallremindedmeofmyfather.He’dwrittenaboutthisveryplaceinhisjournals,wherehewouldsellhiswares.Ifhewerealivetoday,wouldhebeproudtoknowhisdaughterwasqueenofhispeople,evenifitwasallforshow?Ilikedtothinkhewould.
Raifehadalreadycounseledmethatwewouldnotbeeatingatthiseventastheriskwastoogreat.Also,anygiftsgivenneededtobetakenbyaBowManoroneoftheirwivestobeinspectedlater.Thereapparentlywereliquidpoisonsthatcouldbepaintedontoobjectstokillyouwithonetouch.Iwasn’tsureIwouldevergetusedtoconstantlybeingonguardforanassassinationplot,butitwasmynewlifesoIwastryingtosettleintoit.
Therewasatrioplayingtheelvinviolin,andwiththemwasahauntinglybeautifulsinger.Sheworeathincottonankle-lengthbeachdress,herblackhairbraidedatthesideshangingwaypastherwaist.Shebeltedasadlovesongintothesunnyairandchillsranthelengthofmyarms.
“Oh,Raife.ShemustsingattheWinterBall,”Isaid.NowthatIwasqueenitwasnolongerappropriatethatItasteRaife’sfoodorbehisassistantformuchlonger.IhadbeentoldIwouldbeplanningallthepalaceeventsuntilIcouldfindtherighttutortohelpmebecomethephysicianIalwaysdreamedof.They’dneedtoknowthehumanscienceaspectsofhealingaswellastheelvinones.Raifesaidhewouldfindsomeoneforme,buttothrowelegantpartiesinthemeantime,startingwiththeWinterBallinafewmonths’time.
Raifelookedatthewomanasifsizingupherthreattopoisonhim.
“Pleeeease,”Ibegged,hangingonhisarm.
Naiagrinned.“YourHighness,you’dbettergiveyourwifewhatshewants.Lifeiseasierthatway.”
Cahallaughed,swinginganarmaroundhiswoman.“It’strue,mylord.”
RaifelookedoveratmeandIpoppedmybottomlipout,givinghimafrown.
“Fine,”hechuckled,andIsquealedhappily.
Aftertalkingtothesingerandherband,whichwelearnedwerecalledMonaandtheBrigade,webookedthemfortheRoyalWinterBallintwomonths’time.Monaseemedstunnedandhonoredtobeasked.
Afterthat,wewereusheredintoaspecialcordoned-offareaofthebeachthatwasprivatewithanopencabanaofsorts.Thereweresomechairsandtowelsonthesandforlounging.
“Let’ssun.Ineedatanbeforewinterhits,”Baylieannouncedandbegantoshedherdress.Sheworeanadorablebrightyellowone-piecesuitwithrufflesoverthebutt.Naiathentookoffherdressandrevealedapalepinksuitthatlookedmodestfromthefrontbutwasmissingtheentireback.
Istartedtotakeoffmysundress,pullingitupovermyhead,andthenlockedeyeswithRaife.WhenIfinallyrevealedmyblacktwo-piecesuit,Iwasn’tsureifRaifewasmadorinlove.Hiseyeswerehooded,jawclenched.
“Oh,Kailaniyoursuitissochic!I’veneverseenthistypeofdesignbefore,”Naiacooed.
“It’smissingthemiddlepiece,”Raifesaiddryly,causingNaiatorollhereyesathim.Ilovedthathisfriendsdidn’ttreathimlikeakingwithdelicatefeelings.
“I’mgoingtogohomeandcutmineinhalf,”Naiaannouncedtoeveryone.
“Lookatyou,atrendsettingqueenalready,”Bayliesaidwithasmile.
Igrinned,feelingupliftedattheircompliments,butIcouldn’tgetthatgray-bluegazeoffofme.Raifestaredatmybathingsuitasifwillingittogrowbackintoonepiece.Ismiled,walkingpasthim,ignoringhisicyglare,andsettledmyselfontothetowelnexttoBaylieandNaia.ThemenpulledupchairsbesideusandIdugmyfeetintothewarmsandaswelookedoutontothewater,proppeduponourelbows.RaifesatnexttomeandIcouldalmostphysicallyfeelhisgazerunningovermylegsasIsatuptalkingwiththegirlsaboutthedifferentboats.
Theremusthavebeenoverahundredofthem,allliningupfortherace.Someweresmallsailboats;therewasagiantbargethatlookedlikeitcouldholdahundredmen;andafewbiggerrowingboats.
“I’dliketoownaboatoneday,”Iannounced.“GoexploringaroundtheentirerealmandstopatGrimHollowinEmbergate.Iheartheyhavewonderfulartisancrafts.”
Baylielaughed.“QueenKailani,youdoownalloftheseboatsnowthatyou’vemarriedtheking.”
IbristledandlookedupatRaife.Hewasstillstaringatmylegs.“Alloftheseboatsareyours?”
Henodded.“Ours.Mostofthem.”
Ours.Ilikedthat.
“Buttheremustbeahundred!Whatdoyouusethemfor?”Iasked.
“Mostareforwar,someIrentouttofishermentofeedtherealm,andafewmerchanttradingvesselsareownedbyprivatecitizens,”hesaid.
AtallelfholdingagoldenhornsteppedovertotheedgeofthetentandglancedatRaife.Thekingnodded,wavingandlookingoutatthepeoplewhostoodalongthebeachwithasmile.
“Lettheracebegin!”theelfscreamed,andputthehorntohislips.Heblewalong,deepnote,andtheperfectlineofboatsbrokeapartaseachonespedoutintothewater.
Inoticedamedium-sizedsailboathadbrokenawayfromtheformationandwasheadedtowardsus.
“Someonecan’tsteer.”Naialaughed.
Ismiled,lookingatthepoorflusteredsailboatcaptainasheflounderedaboutwiththesteeringwheel.Heworeawoolknittedcappulleddownoverhisears—whichwasoddconsideringthesunnywarmweather.
“Ahh,yourwarboatisbeatingmine!”Cahalsaidtotheking.
Raifegrinned,standingnowtogetacloserlook.Theladiesstoodaswell,throwingtheirsundressesovertheirsuits,andIdidthesame.Weallwalkedtenpacesclosertothewaterinordertogetabetterview.I’dneverseenaboatracebefore,andtruthbetoldIwaskindofexcited.Butthestupidsailboatwhocouldn’tsteerhadfinallyfiguredouthowtoturntothesideandrejointherace,whichmeanthewasnowblockingourview.
“Sorry,lord!”thecaptainyelledashewasonlyamerefiftyfeetaway.Anycloserandhe’dgetstuckinthesand.
Raifereachedupandjustwavedhimoff,annoyed.Weallturnedsidewaysthentotryandpeeraroundthestucksailingvesselsowedidn’tmisstherace,whensomethingmovedinmyperipheralvision.Ispuntofollowwhathadcaughtmyattentioninthedirectionofthenearlymooredboat,andthenextsecondthebeachwasfilledwithscreams.
Fivearchershadpoppedupfromtheboatandloosedarrows.TheprojectileswhizzedpastmeandIflinchedatthewetsoundofthemsinkingintoflesh.
CahalthrewhimselfoverRaife,knockinghimtotheground,andbyinstinctItackledNaiaasweallwentdowninapile.Morearrowssankintothesandbesideme,andNaialetoutablood-curdlingscream.
SuddenlythetentthathadbeensetuptoshadeusfromthesunwasupendedandthrownoverusbyRaife’sBowMenonduty—tippedonitssidetoshieldusfromthearcherassassins.
“Killthem!”Raifescreamedbesideme,andtheBowMentookoffrunning.
WhattheHadeswashappening?Itwasalltoofastformymindtoprocess.
Naiawhimperedbeneathme,andnowthatthetentwascoveringusIpeeledmyselfoffofNaiaandlookeddownather.I’dfallenonhersidewaysataweirdangleandwasn’tabletofullycoverher.There,attheinnermostpartofherthigh,waslodgedanarrow.
“Areyouokay?”Raifesuddenlyswamintoviewandreachedforme.Therewasbloodonhisfingers,andIscannedhisbodywide-eyed,feelingmyselfgointoshockatthegruesomescene.
“You’rehit.”Ilookeddownathisstomachandhefollowedmygaze.Isawitthemomentthefearflashedacrosshisface.
“I’mfine,”helied.“Areyouokay,Lani?”
“Naia!”Cahalscreamedforhiswife,scramblingfromwherehe’dbeenattheking’ssidetowherehiswifenowlay.
InoddedtoRaife,staringatthearrowstickingoutofhisgut.Heneededhealing,butasIwaspainfullyaware,noonecouldhealthekingexceptthosewatersatthehealingcaveseveralhoursaway.
RaifekneeledbesideNaia,andCahalseemedtolookathiskingforthefirsttime.
“Mylord,youneedahealer!”TheBowManlookedtornbetweenhiswifeandhisdutytothecrown.
“I’mfine,”Raifegrowled,andgrabbedthehemofNaia’sdress.“I’mgoingtopullthisupandinspectthewound,okay?”heaskedher.
Shenodded,tearsstreamingdownherface.
Whenhepulledherdressup,weallwinced.Thearrowwassodeeplyembeddeditlookedtobepointingoutthebacksideofherthigh.
RaifelookedatCahal.“Givehersomethingtobitedownon.”
Naia’seyeswentwideasherhusbandpulledoffhisleatherbeltandshoveditintohiswife’smouth.“You’reokay,mylove.Justthinkofthegarden.Yourlavenderisblooming,”hecooedintoherear.
“Screwmygarden,Cahal—ahhhhhh!”shescreamedthroughtheleatherasthekingsnappedthearrowinhalfandthenreachedbehindherlegtopullitoutthebackend.Oncethearrowtipwasout,Raifebroughtituptohisnoseandsmelledit.
“Nodetectablepoison,”hesaidwithrelief.
Bloodbubbledoutoftheholeinherlegandthekingplacedhishandsonherthigh.Purplearcsoflightspilledoutofhisfingersandwrappedaroundherleg.Thewhimperdiedinherthroatinstantlyandshesighedinrelief.
WhenRaifepulledhishandsback,therewasnolongerableedinggapingholebutalightpink,puckeredscar.
“Thankyou,mylord,”Cahalbreathed,restinghisheadagainsthiswife’sneck.
Raifesaidnothing,hoveringoverNaia.
“Raife?”IpulledonhisshoulderalittlesothatIcouldlookathisface,andmyheartstoppedwhenIsawhispurplelips.
“Poison,”hesaid.
Thearrowwaspoisoned.Andnownotonlyhadhetakeninherpoison,healedherwound,butthearrowinsideofhimwasaswell.Adoubleshotofthatnastyodorlessstuffthequeentriedtokilluswithbefore.
“No.”CahalmovedtocatchthekingjustasRaifefellbackwards.
Naiawhimpered,gettingtoherkneesbesidethekingandburstingintotears.BaileyandAreswereunharmed,andstoodinshockattheedgeofthetipped-overtentwiththeirbackstoitasthekinggaspedforbreath.
No.Notagain.Notlikethis.
Agustofwindkickedupandthetentblewoffofus,revealingtheking’sdirehealthtotheentirebeach.Peoplegasped,burstintotears,andsomeevendroppedtotheirkneesinprayer.
ItseemedthattheBowMenhadtakencareofthearchers,becausenomorearrowsfellourway,butevenwithacrowdwatchingonIcouldn’tletthatdeterme.
Ihadtosavehim,evenifitkilledme.Theworldwasabetterplacewithhiminit,andIcouldn’tconceiveofahealinggiftIwasn’tmeanttouse.
Fallingtomykneesbesidehim,Isnappedthearrowofflikehe’ddone,awaveofemotionsfromeveryonearoundmepressinginonme—Naia’shorrorandguiltthatthekingwoulddiebecauseofher;Cahal’sremorsethathe’dbeenunabletoprotectRaife;AresandBailey’sfearthattheymightseethekingdieandwerehelplesstostopit;theonlookerswhogenuinelylovedtheirkingandnowwereafraidofbeingwithouthim.
IlookeddownatRaifeasbloodpooledonhistunicandhisfacewentblue.
“No,”hewhispered,knowingwhatIwasabouttodo.“It…might…beyourlast…”wasallhecouldgetoutbeforehisbreathfullylefthim.
Leaningforward,Ibrushedmylipsagainsthisear.“ThenitwouldhavebeenworthittosavethemanIlove.”
WhenIpulledback,hiseyeswerewide,butIfeltitinthatmoment,hiscompleteandutterjoythatI’dconfessedsuchathing.
Leaningforward,Ipressedmylipstohisandexhaled,callingupwhateverhealingenergyIhadleft.
Thepurplebreathrushedoverhisface,andonebyonethepeoplearoundmegasped.
“She’sblessed.”
“IsthattheBreathofLife?”
“Herhair!”
IgazeddownatRaife,andalthoughthebluewasfadingfromhisface,hestillhadn’tbreathed.Afteronebreathdidn’tseemtodoit,Ididanother,feelingaweaknessthroughoutmylimbs.FinallythecolorreturnedtoRaife’sface,buthestillhadn’tbreathedorspoken,soIpreparedtoexhaleagain,athirdbreath,everythingIhad,whenRaife’shandreachedupandclampedaroundmymouth.
Hegaspedandsputteredforairasacollectivesighofrelieffilledthebeachandthecrowdsobbedandscreamedforjoy.IsmileddownatRaife,andtheneverythingwentblackasIcollapsedrightontopofhim.TEN
WhenIcameto,Iblinkedrapidly,tryingtogetasenseofwhereIwas.ThelastthingIrememberedwassavingtheking’slifeonthebeach.
Myfingersbrushedthesurfacebeneathme.Wewerenolongeronthesand.
Ilookedup,myhazyvisionclearingasIwasabletofinallytakeinmysurroundingsproperly.Iwaslyinginabed;thewindowwasopenandtherewerebirdschirpingoutside.Thewallswereplasteredinabeautifulfloralwallparchmentandthehardwoodfloorswerearichbrown.Itwasalovelyroom,butnotoneIwasfamiliarwith.
“You’reawake!”AhealerIrecognizedfromtheinfirmaryrushedforward.
Magda.
ShewasRaife’smosttrustedhealer,wearingherwhitehealingsmock.Sheplacedtwofingerstomypulse.“Strongheartbeat.”Thensheheldahealingwandovermeandscanneditupanddownmybody.“Wonderfulreadings.Howareyoufeeling?”Shelookeddownatmewithasmile,hergazerunningquicklyovermyhair,whichIguessedwaswhiterthanbefore.
Inodded.“Fine.IsNaiaokay?Theking?”
Herfacefalteredabitbutsherecoveredwithasmile.“Everyonefromthebeachattackisaliveandwell,andtheassassinswerecaughtandputtojustice.”
HergazeflickedagaintomyhairandIranmyfingersoverit.“CanIseeamirrorplease?”Isatupandsherantothechestofdrawers,returningasecondlaterwithahandheldmirror.
Ipulledituptomyfaceandgasped.Myentirehairwaswhite.Allbutonebrownstreakinfront.
Magdareachedoutandgraspedmyarm.“Whatyoudidfortheking…we’reallreallygrateful.”
Istaredatherhandonmineandthenfrowned.“Whereismymarriagering?”Inoticedimmediatelythattheswirlyyellowgoldwasmissing.Ipeeredoveratthedresserbuttherewasnothingontopbutahairbrush.
Sheshifteduncomfortably.
“Magda,whereismyring?”Ididn’tmeantosoundforceful,butmytonecameouticy.
Sheexhaled,hershouldersfallingasshelookedawayfrommeandafewinchestomyrightasifshecouldn’tmeetmygaze.“Thekingisgoingtotelleveryoneyoudiedsavinghim.Ihavebeengiventhepleasureofbeingyourpersonalhealerandhousemaid—”
“WhattheHadesdidyoujustsay!?”Idroppedthemirroronthebedandthrewthecoversoffmylegs.“Died?WhereisRaife?”
MyhandsshookasIglanceddownatmybodytoseethatIwasinathindressinggown.Icouldn’texactlystormoutofthepalaceinthis,butatthispointIdidn’tcare.
“Mylady,Ihavebeentaskedwithinformingyou—”
“Youwilladdressmeasqueen.NowWHEREISMYHUSBAND?”Iroared,tearsstreamingdownmycheeksasmyscreamgavewaytoasob.Whywasshecallingmelady?Didhebreakupwithme?Isavedthebastard’slifeandhedumpedme,toldpeopleIwasdead?I’dkillhim.OhHades,I’dkillthebastardmyselfforthis.
Magdalookedalarmed,holdingherhandsoutinanefforttocalmme.“He’sbackatthepalace.You’resafehere.I’vetakenaVowofNoHarmonyou.Thisistheonlywaytokeepyousafemyla—myqueen.”
Shockrippedthroughmysystem.Hewasbackatthepalace?“WhereamI?”
Sheshiftednervously.“Inalovelysafecottage,allprovidedforbytheki—”
Istormedforward,graspingMagdabytheshoulders.“Cutthecraprightnowandtellmewhat’sgoingon.”
Sheswallowedhard.“ThekingsaidhecouldnolongerbemarriedtothemosthuntedwomaninArchmere,thatitwouldn’tbesafeforyou.Theentirerealmistalkingaboutyou,wonderingifyoucanbringbacktheirdeadfamilymembers.Theyarebringingseveral-day-oldbodiestothecastle,askingforyoutobreathethembacktolife.”
Ideflatedthen;thefightcompletelyleftme.
Hewasright.Raifehadsaidthatifpeoplefoundoutaboutmygift,theywouldhuntmedown.
“WhereamI?”Myvoicewassmallerthistime,weak.
Magdasoftened.“SomewhereattheedgeoftheBriarRidgeWoods.Thekinghasforgivenyourdebtandyouwillremainhereforeverineverycomfortpossible.Foodisdeliveredweekly,thehouseandlandarepaidoff—”
“Forever?”Isnappedoutofmymelancholyandbrushedpasthertoexittheroom.Icameoutintoahallwayandwentright,whichopenedupintoalivingroomwithsoftwhiteandcreamfurniture.ThewallofwindowsrevealedIwasnestledinadenseforest.Walkingovertothefrontdoor,Ithrewitwideopenandsteppedoutside.MybarefeettouchedupondampmossandIdidafullspin.
Thicktreesforasfarastheeyecouldsee.Nohomes,novillages,justamountainmilesaway.
“I’maprisoner,”Ibreathed.
“You’resafe,”Magdasaid.
Ispunonher,eyeswide.“I’minthemiddleofnowhere!I’mtrapped.Howcouldhedothistome?”
HerlipspursedandshemotionedthatIgoinside.“Wewilldoalottokeepthosewelovesafe.”
Love?Thiswasn’tlove.Hewasn’tevenheretotellmehimself.
HolyHades.Thekingdumpedmeandthenmademehisprisoner.NeverinmywildestnightmaresdidIthinkhewascapableofthis.
***
Fivedays.FivedayslivinginthewoodswithMagdawasallittookformetogoinsane.IwasgrievingthelossofarelationshipI’dbarelyhad,andamanIlovedwho’dclearlyneverlovedmeback.IfelttrappedinthewoodswithnoonetotalktobutMagda.Shewasn’tsobad,shewaspleasant.Toopleasant.Shejustsmiledandsaidnicethingsallthetime.Therewasnofireinher.
Me:“Ihateithere!”
Her:“I’msorry,dear.”
Me:“Iwanttospeaktotheking.”
Her:“Youcan’t,dear.”
Me:“I’mleavingthisplace,screwRaife!”
Her:“Youdon’tknowwhereweare,you’lldieinthewoods.JustliedownandI’llbraidyourhairandthenmakeussomeblueberrymuffins.”
Shewasapleasantcaptorbutacaptornonetheless.
Todaymynewrealitystartedtosetin.ThekingwasgoingtotelltherealmIdied,whichmeantmyauntwasstillstuckinNightfallwithhermedicationsrunninglow.Raifehadthrownmetothedogsandhiddenmeawaylikeaproblem.Well,screwthat.Iwasn’tgoingtoliveoutinthiscottagefortherestofmylife.
“Magda,Iwaswonderingifmyslavemastersentanyhairdyewithourlastshipmentforme?”Iaskedher.
Shedidn’tlikemecallingRaifemyslavemaster,butthat’swhathewasatthispoint.
Twiceaweek,atrustedBowManbroughtinfreshfruitsandvegetablesonhorseback.YesterdayitwasCahal.Hedidn’tmeetmygazeashehandedMagdathefood.WhenIaskedhimtotakemebacktothecastlewithhimsoIcouldspeaktoRaife,hesimplyspurredthehorseandrodeoff.
Bastards.Allofthem.
Magdasighed.“Whatdoyouneedhairdyefor,mydear?”
BecauseIwanttorunawayandnotgetrecognized.Havingallwhitehairwithonebrownchunkasarumorofablessedswirledaroundwasn’tideal.
“Idon’tlikethislook.Iwanttolooklikemyself,”Itoldher,grabbingtheendsofmywhitehair.
Shepursedherlips.“Woulditmakeyouhappy?”
WhenIgotclosetoherIcouldfeelherdesireformetobegenuinelyhappy.ShepitiedmeandhowthekingleftmehereafterI’dsavedhislife.Shetookherchargeasmyhealerveryseriously.
“Itwould,”Iinformedher.Itwashalftrue.Ididn’tcarewhatmyhairlookedlikebutbeingonestepclosertobreakingoutofherewouldmakemehappy
“Alright,I’llberightback,then.”ShemovedtogrababasketandaknifefromthekitchenandIfrowned.
“Whereareyougoing?”
“Thekingdidn’tsendhairdye,butmuskarootisadeepreddishbrownthat’sasclosetoyouroldcoloraswearegoingtogetouthere.Icanboilitandmakethedyemyself.Mymothertaughtmehowsowecouldhidehergrays.”Shewinked.
Myheartpinched.Leavingherherewasgoingtobehard.NotbecauseIworriedforher—she’dbefine,sheknewwheretheheckwewereandshehadaBowManvisitingeverythreedays—butshewouldtakemyrunningoffhard,asabetrayalandafailure.
Overthenextseveralhours,Magdaboiledtherootandmadeacondensedreddishbrownhairdyeforme.ThenshegingerlyappliedittomylockswhileIsatandstewedinmyguilt.WhenshewasdoneIlookedinthemirrorandgenuinelysmiled.Itlookedreallygood,redderanddarkerbrownthanthecolorIwasbornwith,butgood.Thepartofmyhairthathadstillbeenbrownwasmuchdarkernowthatthedyehadbeenappliedoverit,andasIpeeredcloser,intothemirror,Isawthattherighthalfofmyeyelasheshadturnedwhitealso.Hopefully,noonewouldnotice,becauseIdidn’twantdyetogetintomyeyes.
Ismiledather.“Iloveit.Thankyou.”
Shelookedpleasedwithmyhappiness,andwhistledasshecleanedupherwork.Wesettledintoournightlyroutinethen,mereadingoneofthehundredsofbooksRaifehadsenthere,andherknittingbythefire.
WhenIgotuptomakeourfinalcupofnightlytea,Ialmostbackedoutofputtingthevalerianrootinhers.
ThefactthatItoldRaifeIlovedhimandsavedhislifeandherepaidmebylockingmeupinthewoods,Ijustcouldn’tgetoverthat.Ihadtogetoutofhere.
DroppingalargepinchofpowderedvalerianrootintoMagda’stea,Iaddedextrasugarandbroughtittoher.Shetookasipandmadeaface.“Sweet,”shetoldme.
Igaveanervouslaughandsippedmyplaintea.
Twentyminuteslatershewasyawning.“Alright,dear.Let’sgetyoutobed.”
Inodded,standing.“Letmejustgotothewashroomfirst.Mytummyfeelsupset,”Isaid,andwalkeddownthehallwaytothewashroom,lockingmyselfinside.
Iftherewasanyquestiontomybeingaprisonerhere,itwaserasedeachnightwhenMagdalockedmybedroomdoor.Iwasnotallowedtoleaveandthatthoughtterrifiedme.Iknewshewasdoingherjob,atthecommandofabrokenking,butIwasn’tmeanttobecaged.
Notnow.Notever.
IsatinthewashroomforfiveminutesbeforeIheardMagdacometothedoor.“It’slate,”shesaid,soundingsleepy.
Iflushedthetoiletandmademyvoicesoundinagony.“Ohh,mystomachiscramping.Ithinkitwasthoseeggswehad.I’llbeawhile.Whydon’tyoulayonthecouchforabit?”
Silence.Andthen,“Okay,dear.”
Ipacedthewashroomforthenexttwentyminutes,tryingtobuildupthenervetogooutthereandcheckonher.IknewthatifIhadtofightherIcouldoverwhelmhereasily—butIlikedher,Ididn’twantittocometothat.Ialsoknewshehadaraventogetwordtothekingquickly,andIwantedtohaveaheadstartbeforehestartedlookingforme.Ifhestartedatall.Hemightverywelljustwanttobefreeofmeandthiswouldabsolvehimofanyguilthehadtoprotectmeinwhateversickwayhethoughtthiswas.
AfterwhatIassumedwasthirtyminutesofsilence,Ireachedoutandunlockedthedoor,slowlyturningthehandleinmysweatypalm.
Pleasebeasleep,IprayedasIcrossedthehallwayandpeeredintothelivingroom.There,slumpedinherknittingchair,wasmyslightlysnoringcaptor.
Ireleasedashakybreathandthentiptoedintomyroom,quicklychangingintotravelingclothes,thenreachedunderthebedtopulloutthestuffedpillowcaseI’dbeencollectingthingsinallweek:driedfruitsandmeats;amapoftherealmI’dhanddrawntothebestofmyability;anextrasetofclothesandameatknife;acanteen,andablanket.LastlywastheangelnovelI’dbeenreading.Thekinghadsentitfromthecastle.Itpissedmeoffthathe’ddosuchakindthing.Dumpme,lockmeup,butsendmyfavoritebook?
Idiot
Hoistingthesackovermyshoulder,Iwalkedaslight-footedaspossibletothebackdoor,theonejustoffthehallwaythatwasfarthestfromMagda’searshot.Withtremblingfingers,Ireachedforthelockandturnedit.ThedoorcreakedalittleasIopeneditandmyheartleaptintomythroat.
Shhh,calmdown,Itoldmyselfastheterrorrushedthroughme.Slippingoutintothenightair,IclosedthedoorassoftlyaspossibleandthenranintothewoodslikeIwasbeingchased.
Ididn’tknowiftherewereBowMenaround,orravensorwhat.IjustknewthatotherthansittingontheporchatmiddayIwasnotencouragedtogooutside.Themoonwashighinthesky,butittoldmenothingaboutwhereIwasgoing.I’dhavetowaitforsun-uptogainmybearingsofeastandwest.Nightfallwaseast,andIintendedtosavemyauntmyselfifthekingwasgoingtoabandonher.
***
Ididn’twanttogettoofarawaywithoutknowingwhatdirectionIwasgoing,butIalsodidn’twanttobetooclosetothecottageifMagdahadwokenandsoundedthealarmthatIwasgone.IendedupwalkingfourhoursinonedirectionuntilIfoundasmallloggingvillage.Therewasagiantpileofstrippedlogsoutsidethegates.Iclimbedontopofthemtokeepawayfromprowlinganimals,andthenpromptlyfellasleepoutofexhaustion.
Menshoutingandthewarmthofsunlightonmyfacewokemeintheearlymorninghours.
“There’sawomanupthere!”oneofthemyelledinOldElvish.
Isatboltupright,rollingmyblanketintoaballandshovingitintomypillowcase.Peeringdownatthemenbleary-eyed,Ismiledpolitelyandwaved.
Theelfmenlookedatmewithshock.“Miss,whatareyoudoingouthere?”HespokeOldElvishtoo,andIthankedtheMakerIknewhowtorespondinthesametongue.
Iclearedmythroat.“Travelingtoseemyaunt.Gotabitlost.WhereamIexactly?”Iaskedasoneoftheelfmen,anoldermaninhisfiftieswithkindeyes,steppedupontothelogstoreachahandoutandhelpmedown.
“You’reinSouthport,miss.Wheredoesyourauntlive?”Itookhishand,keepingmyearscoveredwithmyhairandlethimpullmeupintoastandingposition.Elvesweren’tagainsthybridhumansoranything,butiftherealmthoughtIwasdeadormissing,thequeen,ahuman-elfhybridwhocouldsupposedlybringbackthedead,Iwouldhavetroubleonmyhands.Theoddsofsomeloggingelvesgoingtoaroyalweddingwereslimthough,soIfeltgoodaboutchances.
“BuckshotValley,”Ilied.BuckshotwastheclosestborderingcitytoNightfallthatwasstillwithintheArchmererealm.
Themanwhistledlow.“You’readay’srideonhorsebacktoBuckshot.Wereyougoingtowalk?”Helookedconfusedashehelpedmetotheground.
Aday’srideonhorsebackmeantprobablythreedays’walk.TwoifIwaslucky.ThatbastardRaifehadputmeasfarfromtheNightfallborderaspossible.
“IranoutofcoinorIwouldhavehiredahorse,”Isaidandshrugged.
MydresswasnicebutnotasniceastheonesIworewhileworkinginthepalace,soIdidn’tlookrich.
Henodded,lookingdownatmewithpity.Heglancedoveratayounger,litheelfwithlongbrown,braidedhair.Theyoungmanheldagiantaxeoveroneshoulder.
“Say,isn’tyourbrotherReevesgoingtoBuckshottomorrow?Topickupthosenewaxeheads?”
Theyoungmannodded.“Icanaskhimifhe’llaccompanyher.”
Reliefrushedthroughme.Aday’shorserideawayfromtheNightfallborderwasideal.Aslongasthisguywasn’tcreepyoranything,Ididn’tseeaproblemwithit.
“Iwouldbesograteful,”Iinformedthem.
Theyoungmantippedhisheadintothenow-opengatesofthequaintloggingtown.“Knockonthebluedoor.Mybrother’swifewillfeedyou,takeyouinforthenight,”hesaid.
Ididn’trelishstayinganothernight,butwalkingtwotothreedays,possiblyinthewrongdirection,didn’tsoundgreateither.
“Thankyou,”ItoldthemandshoulderedmypillowcaseasIwalkedintotown
AsIstrolledthroughtheopengates,InoticedthetownwaswithoutthemoderntouchesoftheArchmerecastle,andyetIloveditevenmore.Ithadallthearchitecturaldetailsoftheelvishhomes—archeddoorways,goldinlay,curlingvines—butinsteadofelectricitytheyseemedtostillusekerosenelampsandfiresouthere.ItwasasifI’dsteppedbackintotime.Littlechildrenranaroundalargewellinthecenteroftownlaughingastheyplayedchase,andafewdogslazedaboutinthemorningsun.IwasworriedIwouldn’tbeabletofindthe“bluedoor”butIsmiledwhenIlookedatthelittlerowofhousesintown.Therewerenomorethanfifteenofthemallsmooshedtogetherinacircle,andeachonehadadifferent-coloreddoor.Purple,red,orange,green,gold,black,white,andIsmiledwhenmygazelandedontheblueone.Ayoungelvinwomanwasoutfrontbeatingarugwithabroom.
Ipassedafewpeoplewhowavedtomeandweexchangedfriendlysmiles.IfIdidn’tneedtogoandsavemyaunt,I’dplopdownrighthereinthisvillageandlivethereforever.
“Hello?”IgreetedherinOldElvish,assumingshewouldspeakitaswell.
Sheturned,lookingsurprised.“Hi.”
“AreyouReeves’wife?”Iasked.
Shewipedherhandonherbrightyellowapronandmadeafist.“Yes,I’mFlora.”
I’dneverdoneatraditionalelvingreeting,butI’dreadabouttheminmyfather’sjournal.Noteventhekingdidthem.Theywereold-fashionedandgoingoutofstyle,butIdidn’twanthertothinkmerudesoImadeafistandweclackedforearms.
“Wellmet,”Itoldher,tippingmyheadinrespect.“I’mKa—Kala.”Iquicklymadeupaname.
“Wellmet.”Shesmiled.
Wow,thisplacewaslikeatimecapsuleofoldelvinwaysandideals.Myfatherwouldhavelovedit.Theverythoughtcausedapangofsadnesstoflickerinmychest.Imissedhimandmymotherterribly,whichremindedmeofmyauntandherseizures.
“Reeves’brothersaidyourhusbandmightbeabletotransportmetoBuckshotValley?IneedtoseemysickauntandIgotlostlastnight.”
Shefrowned.“You’retravelingatnight?Alone?”
Crap.
“Well,normallyno,butmysisterMagdaisheavilypregnantandcouldn’tgowithme.Herhusbandhastostayandwork.IthoughtIwouldmakecampbynightfall,butthenIjust…gotlost.”Wow,Iwasalmosttoogoodatlying.
Compassionflickeredoverhergaze.“OfcourseReevescantakeyoutoBuckshot.Comeinside.I’llintroduceyou.We’vegotsomeleftoverbreakfast,andteaifyou’dlike.You’rewelcometostaythenighttoo.”
Irelaxed,lookingforwardtoawarmmealandnicebed.“Thankyousomuch.”
Shesetthebroomagainstthebrickwallofherhouseandthenrolledtherugupintoherarms.Pushingthedooropen,shecalledintothehouse,“Reeves!Wehaveaguest,darling.”
Thewayshespoketohim,withsuchsweetnessandrespect,itmademethinkofRaife.I’dmeantitwhenIsaidIlovedhim.Ihadfalleninlovewithhim.Itwasn’tafakerelationshipforme.Iwantedtocallhimdarlingandcomehometohimlikethisanditkilledmewhathadbecomeofus,howquicklyhe’ddiscardedme.
Amansteppedoutofabackroomandintothekitchen.Hewasbiggerthanhisbrother,notonlytallerbutwidertoo,andhandsome.
“Hello,”hegreetedmewithaheadbow.
“ThisisKala.She’slostandwaslookingtogettoBuckshot,”hiswifetoldhim.
Hewasstaringatme,hiseyesgoingfrommyhairdowntomyfaceinalookthatmademeuncomfortable.
“I’mgoingtoBuckshottomorrow.Icantakeyou,”heoffered.
“Thankyou,”Isaid,worriedagainaboutthewayhewasstudyingme.
Inoticedallofthedriedflowersthen.Theyhungupsidedowninbundlesallaroundthekitchen.“Beautifulflowers.Aretheyfromyourgarden?”
Theybothshifteduncomfortably.“We…hadadeathinthefamilylastmonth.Theflowersarefromthemourning,”Florasaid.
Iinstantlyregrettingsayinganythingaboutthem.“I’msosorry.”Irubbedmyhandsnervouslyonmydress.
“Hungry?”Floraseemedeagertochangethesubject,andInodded.
ReevespulledoutthechairformeatthetableandgesturedthatIsitdown.Idid,andhesatacrossfromme,stillstaringatmeoddly.
Didherecognizeme?Hecouldn’t.Thiswastoosmallatown.
“Youlookfamiliar.Ican’tplaceit,”hefinallysaid,andmystomachdropped.
Floralookedoverhershoulderatus,keenonknowingwhereherhusbandmightknowmefrom.
“Maybethefestivallastweek?”Floraoffered.
Heshookhishead,gazegoingagaintomyhair.“Doyouhaveasister?”
Ialmostsaidno,butthenrememberedmycoverstory.“Yes,”Isaidwithrelief.
Herelaxedalittle.“Wassheatthesailingcompetitionlastweekend?Whenthekingwasattacked?”
Myentirebodyfrozeandhenoticed,stiffeninghimself.
Floraspunfromwhereshewasheatingsomethingonthestove.“Wereyoutheretoo?ItgaveReevessuchafright.Andthentofindoutourqueenisblessed!Thevillagehasbeentalkingaboutitallweek.Oh,howIhopeshecomesoutofherunconsciousness.”
No,no,no…
Ineededtoleave.IwasstupidtothinkIcouldtravelalone.That’swhatRaifetoldeveryone?ThatIwasunconsciousfordaysonend?
“Iwasn’tthere.Neitherwasmysister,”Isaidquickly.Tooquickly.
Floradidn’tseemtonotice,butReeveswaswatchingmelikeacougarinabouttopounceonhisprey.
“Itwasprettyincredibletoseethequeenbringhimbackfromdeathlikethat,”Reevessaid,notlookingawayfromme,notevenblinking.“Herhairwentwhite,butforasmallchunkrighthere.”Hereachedforthedarkerreddish-brownpartofmyhairandIjumpedup,boltingforthedoor.
Everythinghappenedsofastthen,Icouldbarelytrackit.IwasalmosttothedoorwhenReevescrashedintomyback,bringingmetotheground.Florascreamed,andthenherolledoffme,pullingmeupbythearms.
“Reeves,whattheHadesareyoudoing!?”Florayelpedatherhusband.
WhenIfacedhim,Iexpectedtoseeamenacingsnarl,buthewas…crying—full-onfat,hottearsstreameddownhisface.“Canyoubringbackthedead?Isittrue?”
Florawasholdingaplate,lookinglikeshewasabouttowhackherhusbandovertheheadonmyhonor.Whenshesawthestateofherhusbandandprocessedwhathe’dsaidtome,sheloweredtheplateandstaredatmewithhopeinhereyes.“It’sher?”
Henodded.“She’sdyedherhairbutit’sher.Iwasthere.Isawherbringhimbackfromthedead.”
“Canyou?”Floraasked.“Wecanpayyou,notmuchbutanythingwehaveisyoursifyoucanbringourbabygirlback.Weburiedheroutbacklastmonth.Thepoxtookher.”
Flora’sbottomlipquiveredandIshookmyheadviolently.“No,youdon’tunderstand.Ididn’tbringhimbackfromthedead,andIcan’tdoanymorehealingorI’lldie.”
Flora’smouthpoppedopeninshock,butReevesfingerssqueezedmyshoulders.“She’slying!Isawherbreathelifeintotheking!”heshouted,andthetearsstoppedflowing.Nowthemenacewasthere.
Fearsankintomygut.Whatwouldthesepeopledotome?DidtheyreallythinkIcouldbringbackthedead?Amonth-olddecayingbody?TheMakercreatedus,andwhenwediedwejoinedhimagain.Wedidn’tcomeback.
Right?
Floramusthaveseenthefalterinmyeyes.Shepointedtotheflowers.“Thevillagebroughtmeflowers,butwhywouldIwanttowatchthemdietoo?Iwantmylittlegirlback.Canyouatleasttry?”
Reeveswasn’tlettinggo,andIwasstuckbetweenmydesiretoactuallyattempttohelpthispoorcoupleandmywilltolive.RaifesaidIhadadeathwish,butIdidn’t.Iwasjustasuckerforpeopleinneed.
“Flora,Reeves,I’mgoingtobehonestwithyouboth,”Isaid,andReeves’griploosenedalittle,asifhesensedIwasgoingtohelpthem.“IjustgotthisgiftamonthorsoagoandI’vealreadyusedmostofitup.WitheveryBreathofLifeIgive,Ilosesomeofmyownlife.Itturnsmyhairwhite,whichiswhyIdyeit.Whenallmyhairgoeswhite,Iwilldie,havinggivenallmylifeaway.”
Florasankintoherselfasifunderstandingmyplight.Reevesjustnarrowedhisgaze.“Almostuseditup,soyoudon’tknowhowmanymorebreathsyouhaveleft?”Reevesasked.
Iswallowedhard.“No.AndIdon’tknowifIcanbringbackthedeadeither.I’mnottheMaker.Raifewasneardeath,notdead.”
Silencedescendedontotheroom;thisfamilywasstuckinthedarkestgrievingperiodoftheirlife.Theyweren’tthinkingclearly,theysawawaytobringtheirlittlegirlback,andbythewildlookinReeves’eyeshewoulddoanythingtoseeheragain.
Reeveslookedathiswifethen.“Lockthedoorandgodowntotheroomandrest.”
OhHades.
Mystomachdropped.Ibuckedbackwards,buthisgripduginlikeanironclamp.
Flora’seyeswentwide.“Whatareyougoingto—?”
“Iwon’thurther,youhavemyword,”Reevestoldhiswife.“Goonnow.”
“No!”Iscreamed.“Please,I—”
Hespunme,tuckingmybackagainsthischestashishandcamearoundmymouth.
“Reeves!”FlorasteppedovertohimbuthecutherdownwithalookIcouldn’tsee.
“I’mgettingourbabygirlback.Stayinside.”
That’sallittookforFloratoabandonme.Herquestionsstopped,herfootstepsstopped,shegaveup.Shewantedherdaughterbackmorethanshewantedtoprotectme,andIunderstoodthat.
Irespectediteven,toadegree.
Withadeathlygrip,Reevesdraggedmeoutsidekickingandscreaming.Itriedtoheadbutthim,bitehisfingers,kickhimintheballs.Nothingworked.Themanwasbuiltlikeahorseandstrongerthanonetoo.
“MaybetheMakergaveyouthatgiftsothatyoucouldbringpeopleback.Maybehesentyoutome,”Reevessaid.
Itriedtoshakemyheadvigorously,buthekepthishandsofirmlyaroundmylipsIcouldbarelymove.Hepinnedmyneckinplace.Ittookmyeyesasecondtoadjusttothesunlightoftheirbackyard.
“Stopfightingme.Iwon’thurtyou.Ijustwantmyprincessback.”Hewascryingagain;Icouldhearitinhisvoice.
Ifrozeagainsthim,notbecauseofwhathesaidbutbecausemygazehadjustlandedonthegravestoneatthefencelineoftheirsmallbackyard.Smallsproutsofgrasshadpokedupthroughthedirtmoundofherburial,asickreminderthatevenindeath,lifegoeson.Whysomeonewouldwanttoburytheirchildintheirownbackyard,Ididn’tknow.Icouldneverstareatthatmoundofdirtalldayanddoanythingproductive.
It’ssosmall,Ithought.
Whenweneared,myeyeswenttothenamescrawledacrossthetop.
MollyRae.
IletoutawhimperandReevesloosenedhishold.Maybehethoughthewashurtingme.Beingthisclosetohim,toMolly’sbody,itwastoomuchformyempathicgifttotake.I’dbeenpushingagainsttheoverwhelmingfeelingofgriefcomingoffofhim,butnowitcrushedmeunderitsweight.IwentlimpandheloweredmetomykneesasIbrokeintosobsbeforethesmallgrave.
“Please.Pleasebringherback.”Reevesletgoofmeandpickeduptheshovelthatwasbesidethemoundofdirt.
Hewasinsanewithgrief.Digupabodythathadbeendeadamonth?Noonewantedtoputlifeintoahalfrottencorpseevenifitwaspossible.
Reevesstucktheshovelintothegroundjustasaboomingvoicerippedthroughthebackyard.
“Stop!Ontheorderoftheking.”Raife’sdeeptimbreresonatedfrombehindmeandReevesfroze,seeminglysnappingoutofwhathewasdoing.TwoBowMenrushedtoeithersideofhimandtooktheshovelfromhim,pinninghisarmsbehindhisback.
Iwasstillonmyknees.Thefeelingsoflossandgriefwerestillfreshlyrunningthroughme.TheyquicklygavewaytoangeroverRaife.Myanger.Betrayal.Heleftme,brokeupwithmethroughsomeoneelse,andthenbasicallyimprisonedmeinthewoodsalone.WhytheHadeswashehere?
“Arresthim.”Raife’svoicewasclosernow,andasmuchasIdidn’twanttotalktohimordealwithhim,Icouldn’tletthemarrestReevesforthis.
“No.”Istood,andtheBowMenfroze.ItwasCahalandAres,andIknewI’dgainedtheirrespect.
Ispun,preparedtoglaredownmyfakehusband,butwhenIsawhimitwaslikeapunchtothegut.
Here’sthethingaboutfallinginlove.Onceithappens,youcan’ttakeitback,youcan’tslowitdownorstopit.It’slikearunawayhorsewithamindofitsown.I’dfallenforRaife,andeventhoughIwantedtokillhimrightnow,Icouldn’tdenyhowhandsomehelooked,howsafehemademefeel,andhowmuchhisprotectiveblue-eyedgazeaffectedme.
“Hedidn’thurtme.”IlookedintoRaife’seyes.“He’sgrieving.Haveaheart.”IreachedoutandtouchedRaife’schestasifsaying,You,too,rememberwhatthislossislike
“HekidnappedthequeenofArchmere—”
“Queen?”Iplacedonehandonmyhip.“Isthatright?”IheldupmyringlesshandandRaife’scheekswentpink.
TheBowMenexchangedalookandstartedtomoveReevesinside,givingusthegardenalone.FourmoreBowMenwereperchedonthefence,arrowsdrawn,buttheywereoutofhearingdistance.
Raifesighed.“Ihaven’tmadeapublicstatementyetaboutyourcondition.”
Itwaslikehe’dreachedinandyankedoutmyheart.
“Mycondition?”Isnapped.“Soyou’rebreakingupwithme?You’lltelleveryoneIdiedorI’minacomaandnevertalktomeagain?”
Ifeltstupid,becausethiswasashamfromthebeginning.
Heactuallyhadthedecencytolookstricken.
Idoubleddown.“Youdidn’tevenleaveanote,Raife.IsavedyourlifeandIdidn’tevengetanote!”Isnarled,steppingclosertohim.“Youatleastowemethedecencyofagoodbye.”
ThecloserIgottohim,themoreIfelttheemotionscomingoffofhim.ItwaslikeI’dsteppedintoawindstormoffeelings.Shock,adoration,fear,protection,anger,desperation,grief.
Hetookastepbackwards,asifsensingwhatIwasdoing.
“It’sforyourowngood,Lani!EverythingIdoistoprotectyou.Can’tyouseethat?”Raifesaid,andthengesturedtoMolly’sgrave.“Lookatthis.Fivemoreminutesandyou’dhavebeenwastingyourfinalbreathonarottingcorpse.Yourlastbreath.You’dbedead.”
Iswallowedhard.“Youdon’tknowthat,”Isaid,fingeringthedarkerchunkofmydyedhair.ThelastchunkIhad.
“Ididn’taskyoutosaveme,youknow,”hesaid,loweringhisvoice.“Iwouldneverwantyoutodieformyexpense.”
Igloweredathim.“Nowwhohasadeathwish?”
Hereachedup,rubbinghistemples.“WhatamIgoingtodowithyou?”
Ishrugged.“Letmetrytobringbacktheirdaughterandthenyoucanberidofme,”Isaidmorbidly.
Hishandsfellawayfromhistemplesandhegavemeasearinglook.“Don’teversaythat.Theycanhavemorechildren,Kailani.Ican’tmakemoreofyou.”
Myheartnearlystoppedbeating;hesoundedlikehecared.Iwassoconfusedabouthim,aboutus,andIhatedhimforit.
Inevershouldhaveagreedtothisstupidfakemarriageinthefirstplace!
RaifeturnedandpeeredatCahal,whowasnowstandingatthebackdoor.Raisinghisfingers,hegesturedtheBowManovertous.
WhenCahalsawme,hischeeksreddenedasifhewasashamedtohavebeenapartofhidingmeaway.
“Takeherbacktothecastleandsneakherintomyroom.Don’tletanyoneseeherortalktoher.Understood?”Raifeasked.
Henodded,bowingdeeply.“Yes,mylord.”
Hisroom?Iopenedmymouthtoaskwhatwasgoingon,butIcouldn’tfindtherightwaytoformthequestion,andbythetimeIdidRaifewashalfwayacrosstheyard.
“RaifeLightstone!”Iyelledafterhimandhefroze,turningtolookoverhisshoulderatme.“Rememberwhatitfeltliketoloseyoursiblingsbeforeyoujudgethatmaninthere.Hedidn’thurtme,”Iwarnedhim,andhisfacefell.HelookedasthoughI’dslappedhim.
Withanodhemoved,slowerthistime,tothebackdoorofthehome,seeminglytodoleoutjudgmentonthecouple.TheotherfourBowMenwho’dbeenperchedonthefencefelltothegroundandfollowedtheirleaderinside.
Cahalreachedintohisbagandpulledoutatravelingcloak.Handingittome,Ishookitoutandpulleditdownovermyshoulders,andthenupovermyhead.
“Comeon,wemustgobeforetheotherBowMennoticewhereI’vetakenyou.”
Ifrowned.“Doesn’thetrusthisBowMen?”
Cahalgavemeafrighteninglook.“Hetrustsnoonewithyou,myqueen.”
Myqueen.SoIstillhadsomepower,thatwasgoodtoknow.IwonderedifIorderedhimtotakemetomyauntifhewouldhaveto.Hewasduty-boundtotheArchmerecrown.ButIknewhe’dfollowRaife’swordabovemine.
Ifrowned,allowinghimtoquicklyleadmeawayfromthebackyardandtoawaitinghorse.
“Hetrustsyou,”Itoldhim.
Cahallaughed.“Afterhethreatenedtokillmyentirefamilyifyouweremistreatedortakenundermywatch.”
Geez,hedidthat?HewassoprotectiveovermeIdidn’tknowwhattomakeofit.WasitbecauseIcouldgivehiminformationinhisfightagainstthequeen?Orwasittoprotectmygiftunlessheneededmyfinalbreath?Ormaybeitwassomethingelseentirely.Idaredtohopeitwasthathecherishedme.ThatsomewheredeepdowninsideofhimhehadallowedhimselftofallinloveasIhad.ELEVEN
Itwasaseveral-hourhorsebackridebacktothecastle.Whenwereachedthestables,Cahalusheredmetoastallintheback.
“Wherearewegoing?”Iaskedhim.Thiswasnotthewayoutofthebarn.Heputhisfingertohislips.VoicescouldbeheardoutsidethebarnandInodded
Bendingdowntotheground,hereachedoutandbegantowipeawayhayonthefloor.Indoingso,heexposedatrapdoor.
“Cool,”Iwhispered,andCahalwinked.Pullingthedoorback,hegesturedthatIgofirst.Therewerewoodenstepsandafaintorangeglowbeneath.Suckingupmyfearofenclosedspaces,IdescendedthestepsandreachedlevelgroundasCahalshutthetrapdoorandthenmetme.Wewereinabrick-walledtunnelwithtorch-litsconceseverytwentyfeet.
“Thisiscrazy,”Itoldhim,nolongerwhispering.
Henodded.“Everygoodcastlehasasecretentrance.”
Heledtheway.We’dwalkedforquiteawhilewhenwereachedanothersetofstepsthatwentup.Theseledtoadoor,andIwasquiteexcitedtoseewhereitwouldcomeout.Cahalpulledoutakeyandslippeditintothelock,pushingitwideopen.
Igaspedwhenwesteppedintotheking’sprivatebedroom.
“Ifthereiseveranattack,youandthekingcanbeoutofthecastleandonhorsebackinminutes,”hesaid.
Itwasincredible,butnowthatIwasaloneintheking’sbedroom,aplaceI’donlyspentoneverymemorablenight,Iwasn’tsurewhattodo.
Cahalboweddeeplytome.“Haveabath,readabook,waitforhimtocome.”
Sitaroundandwaitonsomeonetocomeyellatmeforrunningaway?Couldn’twait.
Inodded,thenCahalleftoutthefrontdoorofthebedroom,speakinginhushedtonestotheguardsoutside.
MystomachtightenedasIthoughtofhowpissedoffRaifewasgoingtobethatI’dfledhislittlecabinprisoninthewoods.IknewourlittleconversationatMolly’sgravewasn’tover,andIwasn’tsurewhatwasgoingtohappennow.ItookCahal’sadviceandhadalongbath,relievedtofindthatmywardrobeclosetwasstillhereandstockedfull.Islippedintoanelegantsleevelessmintgreengownandthentiedmydamphairintotwobraids.Igrabbedthreebooksoffoftheshelvesandthenlayonthecouchandbegantoread.Afterthefirsthourpassed,Iundidmybraidsandletmyhairdown,nowwithakinkycurlthatIknewRaifeloved.Afterthesecondhour,Istartedtopacetheroomanxiously,andmystomachgrumbled.
Whenthethirdhourstruck,IstartedtofearthatRaifehadkilledthatpoormanandhiswifeforwhattheydidtome.AknockfinallycameatthedoorandInearlyyelpedinrelief.
“Comein!”Iyelled.
ThedooropenedandMrs.Tirthsteppedin,lookingoverhershouldertomakesureshewasn’tfollowed.“Broughtyousomesoupandatomato-cheesesandwich,”shesaid.“Tasteditmyself.”
IwassohappytoseeherInearlyburstintotears.Rushingforward,Itookthetrayfromherandsetitdown.“Thankyou.”
Shenodded,lookinganxiouslyatme.
Ichewedmylip.“Ishereallymadatme?”Iaskedher.Ididn’tknowwhyIcared—hewastheonewho’dimprisonedmeinthewoods.ButMrs.TirthwaslikeamotherfiguretoRaifeandIwantedheropinion.
Shepressedherapronflat.“It’sbeenazoohere,Kailani.Hehadtofirehalfthepalacestaffbecausehecaughtthemsellinginformationaboutyou.Peoplehavebeenliningupatthedoorswiththeirsickandelderlyallweek.”
Hades.ItwasworsethanIthought.
“Ididn’tmeanforpeopletofindoutthatI’mblessed.Buthewasdying.Whatwouldyouhavehadmedo?”TearslinedmyeyesandMrs.Tirthsteppedforwardtoscoopthemoffmycheek.
“Oh,honey,Iwouldhavedonethesamething.Butthatdoesn’tmeanwedon’thavetolivewiththeconsequencesofouractions.I’veknownRaifehisentirelife.Ihelpedraisehim.Ihaven’tseenhimthisdistressedsincehisparentsdied.Ithinktheneedtoprotectyoufromhisownpeopleistearinghimapart.”
Iswallowedhard.AndI’djustbrokenoutoftheonlysafeplacehe’dputme.
“Ican’tlivealoneinthewoodsfortherestofmylife.I’dratherdie,”Itoldher.
Shenodded,lookingforlorn.“Well,ifthepeopledon’tcalmdownoverthis,youmightjustgetyourwish.”
Herboldclaimknockedthebreathoutofme.Theywouldkillme?Wasthatwhatshemeant?Orforcemetousemylasthealingbreath?
“I—”
Thedoorswungopenandwebothjumped.RaifestrodeinandcutMrs.Tirthalookthatmadeherbowandleavewithoutaword.
Iwassuddenlynotsohungry.Staringattheking,athissetjaw,eyesthinnedtoslits,Iwasactuallykindofscared.
“DidyoukillReeves?”Iasked,myvoicesmall.
“No,”Raifegrowled,hisvoiceshakingwithanger.
Ididn’tknowwhattosay,howtomakehimseethatIcouldn’tlivealoneinthewoodswhilemyauntdied.
“Youpromisedyouwouldsavemyaunt,”Isaid,theonlythingIcouldthinkoftoreasonwithhim.
“YousaidIcouldtrustyou,”heshotback.
Myheadrearedasifhe’dslappedme.“Youcan.Iwouldneverhurtyou—”
Raifesteppedforward,ragecomingoffofhimsostronglyitfeltmurderous.“Butyoudidhurtme,Kailani.Youbeddedme,mademefallforyou,andthendidsomethingsorecklessitensuredthatIcouldneverloveyou.”
Igasped,myhandgoingtomychest.“Reckless?Savingyourlifeisreckless?”
Henodded.“Youshowedtheentirebeachwhatyouwere!”heshouted,hisfistsclenching.“Youpaintedatargetonyourback,andnowIwillhavetowatchanotherpersonIcareaboutdie!Ican’tlivethroughthatagain.I’llgomad.”
Hecaredaboutme.Atleasthewasadmittingthat.Itwasahugestepforhim.“Icareaboutyoutoo.”IreachedforhimandhejerkedbackwardsasifI’dstunghim.
“Kailani,Itoldyounottofallinlovewithme.Thisiswhatyouget.ThewallsIbuiltaroundmyheartaretoohighandtoothicktoeverloveagain,andyouhaveprovedthat.I’msorry,”hesnapped,andthenturned,tearingoutoftheroomandslammingthedoor.
Icouldn’tkeepthetearsin.Theyrolleddownmycheeksinbigfatdroplets,makingmeregretthedayIevermetRaifeLightstone.
***
Iatemynowcoldsoupandsandwichandthenreadtwomorebooks.Becausethisroomhadnowindows,Ihadnoideawhattimeitwas.AsIstartedtofeelsleepy,Raifereturned,lookingcalmerthanhehadbefore.
Ifoldedmybookonmylapandthenlookedupathim.Hewalkedoverandsatinthereadingchairacrossfromme.Claspinghishands,heexhaled.“I’msorryIgotsoangrywithyouearlier.”
Iperkedup.Anapology?Ihadn’tbeenexpectingthat.
Raiferanhisfingersthroughhishairandsighedagain.“I’mveryprotectivearoundyou,andnowhalfthekingdomthinksyoucanbringtheirlostlovedonesfromthedead.It’sgotme…”Heshookhishead.
“I’msorry,”Itoldhim.“YoutoldmeabouttherepercussionsofwhatwouldhappenifpeoplefoundoutIwasblessedandnowit’shappening.”Islippedontomykneesandsatbeforehim,lookingupintohiseyes.“But,Raife,Iwoulddoitalloveragainifitmeantsavingyou.”
Hebristled,standingandpacingtheroom.“Youhaveabigheart.You’reagoodfriend.I’mgratefulyousavedme,Ijustwishithadn’tbeenattheexpenseofyoursafety.”
Agoodfriend.
IlaybackonthecarpetlikeI’dbeenhitwithanarrow,closingmyeyes.IfheusedtheFwordonemoretimeIwasgoingtoscream.
“Whatareyoudoing?”heasked,andmyeyessnappedopen.Hewasstandingoverme.
Ishrugged.“WishingIcouldrewindtimeandletyoudiesothatyouwouldstopberatingmeforthismistake.”
Hesmirked.“Thisisn’tberating.Icandothat,though,ifyoulike?”
HereacheddownandItookhishand,allowinghimtopullmeup.Mybodyslammedflushagainsthisandhesteppedbackwardsapace,droppingmyhandlikeahotstone.“IfIsendyoubacktothecabin,willyoustaythere?”heaskedseriously.
Myeyesbugged.“Fortherestofmylife?Hadesno!”
Hepinchedthebridgeofhisnose.“ThenIhavetokeepyounearme.It’stheonlywaytokeepyousafe.”
“Awww…”Myvoicedrippedwithsarcasm.“You’resuchagoodfriend,Raife.”
HisbrowsdrewtogetherinconfusionandIgrowled.Nowitwasmyturntopacetheroom.
“Youpromisedmethatafterwemarried,youwouldbringmyaunthereandhealher.Nowit’stimetopayup!”
“Nowistheworstpossible—”
“Raife.It’stime,”Ideadpanned.“Ifyoudon’tgoandgetherwithme,I’llgoalone.”
Hisjawunhinged.“YouthinkI’mgoingtoallowyoutogoonthemissiontoretrieveyouraunt?Hah.You’reinsane.”
Istompedovertohimandpokedhischest.“You’reinsaneifyouthinkmyauntwouldjustgointothewoodsandleaveherhomeandeverythingshehaswithsomerandomelves.”
Helookedoffended.“I’mnotarandomelf.I’mtheking.”
“Shedoesn’tknowthat,orthefactthatIamyournewwife.Ihaven’tgottenwordtoher.I’mgoing,andthat’sfinal.Besides,youwillneverknowwhathouseishers.ThatmapAutumndrewjustgetsyouintothecastle.Youneedmetofindmyauntie’shouse.”
Hechewedhisbottomlip.“Andifyouarecapturedandkilled?”
Ishrugged.“ThenwriteGreatFriendonmygravestone.”
Againhelookedconfused.Thebastardhadnoidea.
“Raife,I’mgoingtoseemyaunt.Endofdiscussion.I’vedyedmyhairandI’llwearahoodedcloak.Doyoureallyexpectmetoliveinthisbedroommyentirelife?”
Hethoughtlongandhardaboutthat.“No,whichiswhyIjustmadeitacrimepunishablebydeathtoeventouchyou.”
“What!?”Iscreeched.
Helookeddownatmecoolly.“Ifyouwanttoliveandtravelaroundatmyside,tobemyqueen,therearegoingtoberules.OnetouchandIwon’thesitatetokillthem.Wehavetosetaprecedentoryou’llbekidnappedanddraggedtoeverycemeteryintheland.”
Hewasn’tserious,washe?
“Youwon’tactuallykillthemfortouchingmethough,right?”
Heraisedoneeyebrow.“Ifakingshowsweakness,hemightaswellcuthisownthroat.”
Whoa.Okay.Thatmeanthewasserious.
“SoI’llneverbetouchedbyanyoneeveragain?Thanksforthat!”Isnapped,andstormedovertothecorneroftheroomtoinspectthebookshelves.
Iheardhisfootstepsretreat,andthenhedisappearedintothewashroom.Istaredatthebedwherewe’dlastmadeloveandgroaned.Allofthesehotandcoldmessagesweredrivingmeinsane.
Goodfriend?Youdidn’tthreatentokillsomeoneformerelytouchingagoodfriend.
Thedoortothewashroomopenedandhesteppedout,freshlybathed.
IdecidedthenthatformyownsanityIneededtoknowwherehestood.Didhetrulyjustseemeasafriendwhomhekissedonceandaccidentlybedded?Orwastheremore?Iintendedtofindoutrightnow.
Iunzippedmydress,lettingitfalltothefloor,standinginonlymyundergarments,whichwerecomprisedofawhitelacebraletteandwhitepanties.
Raifefroze,eyesrakingovermyhalfnakedform.“Wh-whatareyoudoing?”Hisvoicedroppedtwooctaves.
“Hmm?”Iaskeddismissively,asIprancedacrosstheroomgivinghimaviewofmybackside.
“You’re…undressing.”Hefumbledforwords.
Ilovedthediscomfortinhisvoice.Itwaslayeredwithsomethingelse.
Arousal.
Iturnedandlookedovermyshoulderathim.“Yeah,Iwon’tsleepinmygown.”Ilaughed.
HiseyesnarrowedandhislipspursedintoathinlineasIturnedbackawayfromhimandopenedmywardrobe.MynightgownswerefoldedatthebottomsoIbentforward,slowly,andgrabbedone.
AstrangledmoancamefrombehindmeandIgrinned,pullingthegownoutandslippingitovermyhead.
Gotcha.
“Iknowwhatyou’redoing,”Raifesaidaccusatorily.
Ispun,makingmywaybacktothebed.“Idon’tknowwhatyoumean.”Ishruggedinnocently,pullingthehemofmyshortnightgown.
Hiseyesthinnedtoslits.Hereacheddowntothehemofhiscrispsleeptunicandpulleditupoverhisheadinoneswiftmove.
SweetMaker.
Istoodthere,stunnedintosilenceashepulledthedrawstringofhistrousers.
MythroatwentdryandIhadtoactivelyforcemyselftodragmyeyesawayfromhimandkeepwalkingovertothebed.Hewastryingtoplaymyowngame,toseducemeintomakingamoveonhimjustsohecouldrejectmelikebefore.
Well,screwthat.
Islippedintobed,withagrumpyhuff,andthrewthecoversovermyface.
Marriedlifesucks.TWELVE
ThenextmorningweatebreakfasttogetherinthesmallprivatediningroomIwasusedtobeingwithhimin.
“CanIbeyourassistantagain?Beingapartyplannerisboring,”Iasked,takingapieceofeggintomymouthandchewing.Itwasweirdnotbeingthefoodtasteranymore.Somehowtherewasamoreheightenedsenseofanxiety.Didthenewtasterreallyeatapieceofeveryfood?Hadtheywaitedthefullthreeminutes?Couldtheybetrusted?
IalmostwantedtogobacktocookingforRaifeandhavinghimdothedishes.Itwasasimplertimethen.
Hesnort-laughedatmyquestion.“No,you’remyqueen.Beingmyassistantwouldbeinappropriate.”
Ichewedonmylip.“Well,I’mbored.CanIhelpattheinfirmaryorwithplanningthewar?”
Hesetdownhisforkandlookedoveratme.“Ihavetogospeaktoanoldfriend.Itmightgobetterifyouwerewithme.”
Iperkedup.“Atrip?Ohh,soundsfun.”
“Don’tgettooexcited.ThisisatriptoseethefaekingofThorngate.”
Myeyesbugged.“Youwanttowillinglygoseethewinterking?”
Helaughed,asifheenjoyedmyassessmentofhis“oldfriend.”
“Ineedhishelpinthewar,”wasallhesaid.
Inodded.“Okay,andonthewaybackwecanpickupmyaunt?”
Raifegavemeasternlook.“You’repushingit.”
“Thosearemyterms.YouhavethemapAutumngaveme,andwearemarriednow,soIthinkthecouncilwillapproveit.”Ipoppedagooseberryintomymouthandhesethisforeheadagainstthetablewithathunk.
“Fine,”hegrumbled,andIsmiled,standingandwalkingovertohim.IbrushedmyfingersalongthebackofhisneckasIpassed.
“Seeyoulater,darling,”Itrilled.
Maybebeingqueenwasn’thalfbadifIgotmywaysomeofthetime.
***
IwouldbelyingifIdidn’tadmitthatIwasterrifiedtomeetKingThorne.LucienThornehadareputationforbeinganunforgivingprick.Stealfromhim,he’dcutoffyourhand.Lietohim,loseyourtongue.Ofthefourfaecourts,hewasalwayschosenaskingyearafteryearbecausethisruthlessnessmeanthewasfeared.Thosewhowerefeareddidnotgettakenadvantageof.TherewasevenarumorthattheNightfallqueenconsideredLucienaworthyadversaryanddidn’tbotherhimasmuchastheotherroyals.
ItriedtoprobethedepthofRaifeandLucien’srelationshipaswetraveledinthecarriage.“SoyouandLucienwerefriendsgrowingup?”
RaifewasdressedinaBowMenwarrioruniform,andevenkepthisbowandarrowsnearbyasifheexpectedanattack.“Were,”wasallRaifesaid.
Ifrowned.“Whydidyoustop?”
Raife’seyesflickedtothebustofmycreamchiffongown.Iwasaqueennow,andgoingtomeetwithanotherroyal.Ihadtoplaythepart,anddresstoimpress.Thecutofmynecklinewascompletelyproper,andyetRaifestillsnuckglancesasifhopingtocatchaglimpseofmycleavage.Iwasn’tsureifthismademehappyatthispointorpissedmeoff.Heneededtofigureoutwhathewanted.
Raifesighed.“IwenttoareallydarkplaceaftermyparentsdiedandIwascrownedking,”hesaid.
Ireachedoutandgraspedhishand,andhestartledalittle,asifhedidn’texpecttheactofkindness.Hesqueezeditandthenletitdrop.
“Whathappened?”NowIreallywantedtoknow,neededtoknow.
Raifewinced.“Lucienwasn’tabletohelpmeinmyfightagainstthequeenashewasonlyaprincethen,buthecameandvisitedoften.NomatterhowmanytimesItriedtothrowhimout,hecamebackeveryweekend.”
Myheartmeltedinthatmoment.WasthisthesameLucienThorneI’dheardabout?
“Well,whyaren’tyoufriendsanymore?”
Ifeltitthen,shame.ItburnedthroughRaifefastandhotandovertome.
“Whenwewereseventeen,LucienaskedmetovisithimsothatIcouldmeethisgirlfriend.Hewasheadoverheelsinlovewithher,saidhewasgoingtomarryher.IcaughtherflirtingwithmyBowMenandIdidn’ttrusther.ItoldLucientodumpher,thatshewouldbebadforhim.”
Dreadsanklikeastoneinmygut.Iswallowedhard.
Raife’senergydescendedintodepressionthen.“Thenextnightshebroughtafriend…wealldrankelfwineand…Luciencaughtmeinbedwiththeloveofhislife.”
Igaspedandthensmackedhisleg.“Raife!”
“Iknow,okay?Iknow.IwasdrunkandIwantedtoproveshewasn’tloyaltohim.”RaifehunghisheadinshameandIsighed.
Standing,IshimmiedtowhereIcouldsitnexttohimandplacedmyhandonhisthigh.“Weallmakemistakes.Itsoundslikeyoudidindeedsavehimfromahorriblemarriage.”
Raifecastmealongsidelook.“Ihaven’tseenhimsince.HesaidifIevershowedmyfaceinThorngate,hewouldkillme.”
Igrinned,understandingnowwhyhewasdressedforwar.“Well,then,goingtoseehimwasagreatidea.”
Raifesmirked,chucklingalittle.“I’mhopinghewon’tkillmeinfrontofyou.IreallyneedhishelpwiththeNightfallqueen.HisWintersoldiersarearguablythemostpowerfulintheland.”
Ichewedtheinsideofmycheek,nowwonderingifcomingalongwasagoodidea.Hewouldn’treallykillRaife,wouldhe?Thatwasyearsago.Itwouldstartawar,andtheyusedtobefriends.Surelyhewouldrememberthat.
“ApproachingtheentranceofThorngate,sir,”oneofRaife’sBowMensaidfromthewindowofourcarriage.
Raifeswallowedhardandnodded.
Asweslowed,Iheardthefaeguardsaskwhatweweredoing.
“IhaveKingRaifeLightstoneandhisnewwife,KailaniDulane,toseeKingLucienThorne,”theBowMensaidformally.
“Waithere.I’llsendamessenger,”wasthecurtreply.
Wewaited.Andwaited.Andwaited.Overtwohourswewaited,snackingandgettingouttostretchourfeet,whenfinallyafaeonhorsebackrodeuptothewroughtirongates.
TheguardatthegatespoketohimbrieflyandthennoddedtotheleadBowMen.“Yourkingandhiswifemayenter.Youmaynot,”hetoldtheBowMen.
Theyallgrowled,staringatRaifeforinstruction,andIwasn’tpreparedforitwhenhelookedtome.Asifaskingmyopinion.Gointopossibleenemyterritorywithoutaroyalguard?Butwhywouldwebringanarmedguardunlesswedidn’ttrustLucien?Weneededtoextendthefirsthandofpeace.
InoddedoncetoRaife,tellinghimIwasokaywithit.
“Grabyourcloak.Itgetscold,”wasallRaifesaidtome.
Idugintothecarriageandpulledoutmywhitefurcloak,fasteningittomyshoulders.AfterbeinghelpedupontoRaife’shorse,IrodesidesaddleasIclungtohimandwepassedthroughtheentranceofThorngate.
I’dneverbeenintothefaeterritory.AllIknewwasthatitwassplitupintofourregions.Summer,Spring,Fall,andWinter.Eachregionhadaprinceorprincess,butthewinterkingruledoverthemallwithanironfirst.Bythelooksoftheorange-andyellow-leafedtreesandthegustofwindblowingthroughthefields,Iwouldhaveguessedwe’djustriddenintoFalllands.Theking’smessengerrodealongsideus,watchinguscarefully.Inoticedhedidn’thaveaweapononhim,andwonderedifthatmeanthehadamagicalpowerthatwasmoreharmfulthanasword.Heworethesteelyblackuniformofwinter,andthickgrayfurboots.
Overthenexthourwepassedtwosmalltownsandapalacetrimmedinredbrick,butweretoldtokeepgoing.AvisitwiththeroyaltyofFallwasnotonouragenda.
Aswecameupandoverasmallhill,Igaspedatthestarkdifferenceinthetwolands.Thicksnowdemarcatedalinebetweenthetwocourts.Mountainsandtreeswerecoveredinthewhitefluff,andIquicklypulledmyfurhoodup,clingingtoRaifetighterasheplungedusintoWinter.
Thepathhadbeenalmostmagicallyclearedofanysnoworice,thecobblestonescompletelydry.Itwaseerie,unnatural.Ipeeredallaround,takinginthewonderoussight.Everytree,everyrooftop,everymountain,wascoatedinwhite.Butitwasmagical,cold,andyetoneofthemostbeautifulthingsI’deverseen.
Thehouseshadgardenswherethesnowhadmeltedoff,givingwaytoasmallpumpkinpatchorsquashvines.Iwonderediftheycouldcontrolwherethesnowfellandwhereitdidn’t,andwasinstantlyfascinated.
Ilookedatthemessengerandnoticedhisuniformwasquitethinandyethedidn’tlooktheslightestbitcold.Thedeeperintotherealmwewent,thecolderitgot.BythetimewepeeredovertheridgeandatthewhitecastleofWinter,mylungsfeltfrozeninmychest.
“It’sbeautiful,”Isaidthroughchatteringteeth.
Raifegrowled.“Andnotnormallythiscold.He’sdoingthistomakeusuncomfortable.”
Thewinterking?Hecoulddothat?Soquickly?Thatwassimultaneouslyscaryandfascinatingallatonce.Thewhitestonecastlewastoppedwithseveralinchesofsnow,makingitlookmagicalagainstthebackdropofthelargemountainsflankingit.
Halfadozenguardsglaredusdownattheentranceofthegates,andwhenwepassedthepeopletheykepttheirheadsdown,notmakingeyecontact.
Themarketshopswereallpaintedapaleice-blueandtoppedwithsnow,whichjustmadethemlookalmostunreal,likeoutofapicture.Ipeeredthroughtheglasstowhattheyheldinsideandnoticedbeautifuljewelry,pottery,andclothing.
Oh,howIwouldlovetostopforshopping.Maybeanothertime,whenwehadmadesurethatLucienwasn’tgoingtokillmyfake-maybe-not-so-fake-husband.
Raifepulledthehorserightuptothecastlegates,wherealargewarriorstoodtallanderect.Faewerenotknownfortheirbulkiness,sothismanwasquitethesightamongtheothers.
Raifedismountedandhelpedmedown,andIinstantlyregrettedmyshoechoice.ColdsnowbitintomyanklesasRaifeslippedhishandintomine,thatlightpalmstrokemakingmyheartpinchalittle.Wewereledupthegrandexteriorstairsandintoasetofdoubledoors.Theinsidewascompletelystarkwhiteandgray.Whitestonetilelinedthewallsandfloors,andwewereledtoalargedrawingroom.Thecastlewaswarmerbutnotbymuch.Thefireplaceonthefarwallwasdead,withnologsinit.
“Clearlynotwantingustofeelwelcome,”Raifegrumbled.
“Clearynot,”avoicecamefrombehindus,andwebothjumpedalittle.
Turning,ItookinLucienThorneashestoodinthedoorway.
HewastheoppositeofRaifeineverywaypossible:blackhair,sharper-pointedears,graysterneyes.WhereRaifewaslightnessandhealing,thismanwascoldandunforgiving.Still,Icouldnotdenythathewashandsome.Hissharpjawlineandcockysmilewouldwinmanyhearts.
“Youfoundsomeonetomarryyou?”Luciensaid,soundingsurprised.“Alookertoo.Welldone.”
Raife’shandclampeddownonmineandIstrokedhiswithmythumb,hopingtoexpresstohimthatheneededtonotgetbaitedintoanargument.LucienwasclearlystillhurtaboutRaifesleepingwithhisgirlfriend.
IdroppedRaife’shandandsteppedclosertoLucien,extendingmine.“Hello,YourHighness,it’snicetofinallymeetyou.I’mKailani.”
Lucien’ssmilegrewwider.Itonlymadehimmorehandsome.“Andshehasmanners.”
Hetookmyhandandslowlyleanedforward,kissingthetopofmyfingersforlongerthanwasappropriate.
“Icametotalkaboutofficialmatters,”RaifesaidasIpulledmyhandback.
Lucien’ssmilefellthenandhiseyesgrewstony.“AndItoldyouthatifyouevershowedyourfacehereagain,Iwouldkillyou.”Reachingupintotheair,Lucienmadeafist.Itwasanoddthingtodo,soIjuststaredathim,wonderingwhatwasgoingon,untilIheardRaifechokingbehindme.
Ispun,seeingRaife’sfacegoblue.Iciclesformedonhislips,andhisbreathcameoutincoldpuffsofwhite.
“Stopit!”IscreamedatLucien,butheshowednointerestinstopping.
IstormedovertothekingofWinter,andwithoutthinkingIgrabbedhismanhoodtightlyinmyhand.Heflinched,lookingsurprised,butdidn’tletRaifego
“KillhimandI’llripyourprickrightoff,”Igrowledwithhismeatinmyhands.
Heturned,meetingmygaze,andgrinnedatme.Ifelthimstiffenandgrowhardbeneathmyfingers.Withagasp,IyankedmyhandawayandhedroppedRaife,laughingdeeply.
RaifegaspedforairasLuciencontinuedhisamusedsnickering.“Oh,Raife,sheisatreasure.Youhavemarriedwell,I’llgiveyouthat.NowgettheHadesoutofmyrealmanddon’tcomeback.”
Iwassorelievedhe’dstoppedchokingRaife,butstillinshockbythefactthathe’djust…itwastooinappropriatetoeventhinkof!Thismanreallydidliveuptohisbadboyreputation.
Raifestood,stillpanting,andglaredatLucien,amurderousgleaminhiseyes.“IsaidIwassorryforLorna,butyouneverwouldhavebeenhappywithher!Iprovedherunfaithfulness,”Raifesaid,cuttingtotheveryheartoftheissueathand.
OnesecondLucienwasstandingthere,andthenexthewasscreamingasheranatRaife,fistsraised.
IwincedashisfistcrackeddownonRaife’sface,thesoundofhisbonecracking.RaifereachedupandgaveLucienanuppercuttothechin.Thentheybothwentateachotherlikewilddogs.
Isteppedbackafewfeet,watchingastheyworkedthroughtheirissues.AfistfightIcouldhandle.MyoldhouseinNightfallwasacrossfromatavern,soIsawmanyfistfightsonadailybasis.Thisone,however,wasthemostpassion-filled.LucienwasscreamingsomethingaboutbeddingLornawhileRaifesuddenlystoppedfighting,allowingLucientopoundintohim,hitafterhit.
“Stop!”Iscreamed.
LucienpickedupRaifethenandthrewhimintothewallandIshrieked.TheyweregoingtokilleachotherifIdidn’tbreakthisup.
“That’senough!”Ishouted.
Raifegotupquickly,brushingtheblowoff,andthenstoodfacingLucienwithoutevenliftinghisarms.
“Fightback,youbastard!”Lucienraisedhisfistandanicicleformedinsidehispalm.
Mysharpintakeofbreathechoedthroughouttheroom.Iwenttomoveforwardtostophim,butwhenIlookeddownmyfeetwerefrozentothespot,literally.He’dimmobilizedme.
FeartightenedinmygutasIwatchedthesceneunfoldbeforeme.
“I’msorry,”Raifesaidinthemostearnestwaypossible.“I’msorry,Lucien.Youwerelikeabrothertome,andI’m…sosorry.”
Thefaeking’schestheavedasheheldtheicicletoRaife’sthroat.Raifetippedhischinhigh,asifaskinghimtodoit.Iyankedmyfootfrommyfrozenshoeandpreparedtojumponthewinterking’sbackorsomethingcrazytogethimtostop.
Butthefaedroppedhishandandtheiciclecrashedtotheground.“Goaway,anddon’tcomeback.”Hesoundedresigned.
Inearlymeltedinreliefthathewasn’tgoingtokillRaife.Slippingmyfootbackintomyshoe,Ilookeddownattheiceblocks;theywerenowpowderedsnow.IfIweren’tsoterrifiedImightactuallyprocesshowcoolthatwas.
Raifelookedatmeandcrossedtheroom.Lucienstayedwherehewas,keepinghisbacktous.
RaifeslippedhishandintomineandthenstaredatLucien’sback.“DraehasagreedtomarchontheNightfallqueen.We’regoingtostopherreignofterror,andI’dreallylikeifyou’djoinedus.”
Lucienlaughed,acoldandbitingsound.“ThedragonkinghasagreedtotakeontheNightfallqueenwithyou?”
“Yes,”Raifegrowled.
Lucienspun,hiseyesflashingsilverforawildmoment.“I’llbelievethatwhenIhearitfromDrae’smouth.NowgettheHadesoffmyland!”Aflurryofsnowcameoutofnowhereandflewatus.RaifescoopedmeupasifIweremadeofairandtuckedmeintohischest,carryingmeoutofthecastleatabriskwalk.
Thesnowdancedarounduslikeawindtunneluntilwereachedourhorse,thenitdroppedtotheground.
IlookedupatRaifeforthefirsttime,tryingtoconcealmyterror.“Thatwentawful,”Isaidasheletmedown,mybodyslidingslowlydownhis.
Raife’slipwassplitandbleeding;hischeekwasswollenandred.Buthewas…grinning,andIcouldn’tforthelifeofmeunderstandwhatwouldmakehimsmile.
“IjustneedtobringDraebackandLucienwillbelievehim.Youheardhim.”
Ifrowned.“Thatdoesn’tmeanhewillfightwithyou.Sendinghispeopletowarisabigdeal,Raife.”
Raifenodded.“Hecouldhavekilledmeandhedidn’t.Thatmeanssomewhereinthere,he’sstillmyolddearfriend.Andanolddearfriendwillhelpmeavengemyfamily.”
Myheartpinchedathiswordsashehelpedmemountthehorse.“Youreallywon’tstopuntilyoutakeoutZaphira,willyou?”
HeswunghislegoverthehorseandstaredbackatmewithafiercenessIwasn’tpreparedfor.
“Sincethedaymyfamilydied,writhingonthefloorandfoamingatthemouth,I’vebeenplanningthiswar.IwillnotstopuntilIgetwhatIwant.”
Chillsbrokeoutonmyarms.Theelvesmightbehealersandthereforeseenas“weak”amongotherraces,butwhatelveslackedinbruteforce,theymadeupforinarcherymarksmanshipandcunning.Raifehadplannedthiswarfornearlytenyears.Iknewhewouldallownothingtogetinhisway.
Notevenme.
Itallmadesensenow,thewayhepushedmeawaywhenIgottooclose.Iwassurehewasafraidtocareforsomeoneagainandlosethemlikehisfamily,butIalsothoughthedidn’twantanythingtodistracthimfromthejusticehesoughtforthem.Fromhiswar.Hades,afterthatbitchpoisonedmeinanefforttogettohim,Icouldn’twaittoseeherheadonaspike.Butalsoforhisfamily,foreverymagicalcreatureshe’dkilledmerelyforbeingbornwithmagic.AblessedgiftfromtheMaker.
Shewassickening,evil,andIjustdidn’ttalkaboutitmuchbecauseitwasengrainedinmenotto.GrowingupinNightfallmeantwedidn’tutterabadwordaboutQueenZaphiraforfearofbeinghangedfortreason.MaybeRaifedidn’tknowhowmuchIsupportedhimandthiswar,thisquestforrevenge.Maybeheneededto.
“Raife,Ijustwantyoutoknowthatwhateverpart,bigorsmall,thatIcanplayinhelpingyougetjusticeforyourfamily,Iwill.”
Hiseyessoftened,andIknewthatmycommitmentmeantalot.
“Zaphiraisabsoluteevil,”Itoldhim.“Shemustbestopped.Ijustdon’tsaythatoutloudmuchbecauseI’musedtonotbeingabletotalkbadaboutherforfearofretribution.”
Hisfeaturessoftenedevenmore.“Iwasn’tsurehowyoureallyfeltaboutmyquesttoremoveherfrompowerandkillherslowly.”
“Fullsupport.Thebitchneedstodie,”Iconfirmed.
Hisentirebodyrelaxed,asifherealizedinthatmomenthedidn’thavetocarrythisweightalone.“Really?”
Inodded.“Ithinkafterwegetmyaunt,youshouldgotothedragonking,gethimtovisitLucienwithyou,andconvinceLucientopledgehiseffortstothewar.Thewinterkingnotonlybordersthequeen’sland,butherpalaceisnearesthis.Shewouldneversuspectanattackfromthefae.It’saknownthingthatsheconsidersthewinterkingaworthyadversaryandwouldsavehimforlast.Thiscouldbethehomebaseofthewaragainsther,”Iinformedhiminarushofexcitement.
Hiseyesglittered,asifhetoowereeagerabouttheidea.“IhavetogetLucientosayyesfirst.”
Inodded.“Youwill.Likeyousaid,hedidn’tkillyou.That’saplus.”
AhalfcockedsmilegracedRaife’slips.Icouldfeelhisconfidenceinhisplanreturning.“Let’sgogetyouraunt,”hesaid.THIRTEEN
Aswesetoffonhorsebackwithourtrustyescort,IsnuggledintoRaife’sback,feelingmoreateasewithourrelationshipthanIhadinalongtime.Wehadsomehowmadeamends,andnowwewereateamagain.Evenifitwerejustasfriendswhichwasnotideal,itwasastepforward.Becauseatruefriendwantedtheotherperson’sdreamstocometrue,evenifitcrushedtheirown.IrealizedthenthatRaifewasprobablyincapableofloveatthispointinhislifeandI’dbeenlivingafairytalethinkingafewkissesoronenighttogetherwouldsuddenlymakehimfallwildlyinlovewithme.
Thiswasafive-yearbusinessarrangement,andRaifedeservedthataftereverythinghe’dlost.
HeadingoutofThorngateandtotheportionoftheeasternwoodsthatAutumnhadmarkedonthemaptookonlyahalfday’sride.ButthathalfdayputusinthedeadofnightattheNightfallborder.Autumnhadsketchedafarmonthemapwithabrightyellowbarn,andthenhaddrawnabrokenfence.Fromthereshe’dshowncertainlandmarksthroughthewoodsthatledtothegatesofNightfallCity.
Themapshowedthatwhenwefinallygottothegates,therewasapictureofatreesplitintwo,likelightninghadstruckit,andthenanarrowshowingthatyouwentunderthegate.Ihadnoideaofthelandmark,asIdidn’tmakeanefforttomemorizetrees,butIhopedwe’dfigureitoutoncewegotthere.
WefoundthefarmwiththeyellowbarnandRaifehadourgroupstop.
“KailaniandIwillgoonalonefromhere,”RaifesaidtohisleadBowMen.
BothCahal’sandmyeyeswidenedathisstatement.
“What?”wesaidinunison.
RaifepointedtothemapandthewordsThreepeopleonlywrittenonthebottom.
“Iassumethismeansmorethanthreepeoplewouldbeseen,ornotfitorwhatevertheinstructionsare,”Raifesays.“OncewegetKailani’saunt,wewillbethree.”
“Mylord,you’retheking,youcannotgointoNightfallterritoryalone,”Cahalsaid,andInoddedinagreement.
“Ihavetogoormyauntwillnotleavewithyou,”Isaid.“ButIcangowithanyofyourBowMen,”ItoldRaife.
Cahalboweddeeply.“Iwouldbehonored—”
“No.She’smywife,Iwillkeephersafe,”Raifesnapped.
Mywife.Ihadn’theardhimsaythatenough,andeventhoughitwasallforshowIwouldnevertireofit.
Raifewasgoodatlovingpeoplewhilenottrulylovingthem.Hewasfiercelyprotectivebutundeniablycold.IwonderedinthatmomentifIcoulddothisforfivewholeyears.Tohearhimsayromanticthingslike“She’smywife.Iwillkeephersafe,”andhavemyheartbeatoutofmychestasIstaredathissoftlips.
Cahallookedunnerved.“Mylord,Iwouldneverquestionyourauthority,buttheNightfallqueencouldcaptureyou,shecouldkillyouandKailani,andthenwe’dbeleftwithnoone.”
Raifeshookhishead.“You’dhavethecouncil.They’dformaquorum.Besides,ifDraeValdrencansneakintoNightfallandkillthequeen’soldestson,IcansneakinandstealLani’sfeebleaunt.”Therewasdeterminationinhisgaze.
CahalandIsharedaknowinglook.Wasthatwhatthiswasabout?Hewantedtoprovethathecouldalsoone-upthequeen?
IplacedahandonCahal’sshoulder.“Myfriend,Autumn,doesthiseverymoontovisithersisterandnephewinArchmere.Thefewerofusthatgo,thelesslikelywearetobeseen.”
Helookedstricken,likehecouldn’tpossiblythinkoflettinghiskinggointoenemyterritoryalone.
“Stayhere.That’sanorder,”Raifecommanded,andendedtheargumentbeforeitcouldbegin.
“Yes,lord.”Cahalloweredhishead.
Withthat,RaifeandIdismountedthehorseandwentbackintothecarriagetograbsomesupplies.Wetookasmallpackwithwater,anddriedfruits,incaseweweredelayed,butintendedtobebackbymorninglight.Therewouldbenosleepandlotsofwalking,butgettingmyaunttosafetybeforethewarstartedwasimportanttome.Healingherseizureswasimportant.TheNightfalldoctorssaidwitheachoneherbraincouldbedamaged.IknewRaifewasriskingalotonthismission,butIdidn’tseeanyotherway.
Aswecutacrossthefarm,peeringatthebackfenceforabreakinthewood,IreachedoutandsqueezedRaife’shand.
“Thankyoufordoingthis.”Iheldhishand,hopingtogetacrosstohimhowmuchIappreciatedhim,buthejustgavemeacurtnodanddroppedmyfingers.
ThefamiliarpainofhisicycoldrejectionwormedintomyheartbutIbrusheditaside.Thiswasjustwhatwewerenow.ItwasagoodthingIwastheempathandnothim.Iwouldn’twanthimtoknowhowmuchI’dwrappedmyhappinessupinhimandhowbadlyhehurtmewithsmallactionssuchasdroppingmyhand.
Suckitup,Kailani.
“Thereitis!”Raifesaidaswetiptoedacrossthefieldandovertoacornerofthefence.Thesesleepingfarmershadnoideatheirkingandqueenweretraipsingthroughtheirpastureatoddhoursofthenight.Sureenough,therewasagapinthefencebigenoughforapersontoslipthroughiftheywentsideways.EveryinchoftheNightfallborderwaswalledoff,fromFallenmooretoNecromere.Itwasstoneandatleasttenfeethigh.Thequeenmadeeverycitizentakearotating“civilduty”weekendtobuilditabouttwentyyearsago.Keepthepestsout,shewouldtellus.Ontopofthewallwereguardpostseveryfewmiles.Thiswasrightinbetweentwoofthem.Aboutfourofthelargestonesweremissing,allowingapersontosqueezethroughiftheycrouched.
Raifestaredatthebreachinthewallandrubbedhischin.“I’mtornbetweenwantingtoclosethisoffaftertonighttokeepNightfallsoldiersoutofArchmere,orleaveitopensothatwecansneakinatafuturedate.”
Alwaysthinkinglikeaking.
“Myvoteistoleaveitopen.IfNightfallreallywantedin,theywouldjustclimbthefenceandjumpover.”Whichwecouldhavedoneaswell,butitincreasedtheriskofbeingseenbytheguardsuptop.
Henodded.“Ithinkyou’reright.”
I’dreadawartheorybookinhisbedroomyesterdaywhileIwasstuckthereforseveralhours.SoIknewalittleaboutwhathemightbethinking.
Raifeduckeddown,goingthroughtheholeinthefencefirst,andIheldmybreath,waitingtoseeifitwassafetofollow.
“Comeon,”hewhispered.
Icroucheddownandlookedthroughjustasheheldoutahandforme.Takinghisofferedassistance,Iallowedhimtopullmethrough,andstoodbeforehim,brushingoffmydress.Hedidn’tbackuptogivemespace,soIstoodrightupagainsthischestwiththewallatmyback.
Withourbodiesthisclosetogether,myheartratchetedinmychestsoloudlyIwascertainheheardit.
“Ifthingsgetdangerous,Iwantyoutocomebackhereandwaitforme,okay?”Hisvoicewasdeep,andtheprotectivevibescomingoffofhimweresostrongIcouldfeelmyjawtighten.
Ilaughednervously.“You’retheking.Ifthingsgetdangerous,youneedtocomebackhereandI’llpresson.”
“No,”hegrowled,holdingmygaze.“I’vehadenoughofyourheroiceffortstolastmealifetime.IfItellyoutorun,yourun.Gotit?”
Ihadn’treallyknownwhatmyempathicgiftwas.AllmylifeI’djustsortofkepttomyselfbecausepeopleoverwhelmedme.NowthatIknewwhatitwasandthatthefeelingsweren’tmine,theywerehis,itstillconfusedme.Becauseinthismoment,underneathallofthatprotectiveness,wasadeeplove.Oratleastwhatfeltlikelove.Wasthatmyloveforhim?Itfeltdifferent,likearawlovemixedwithsomuchfear.BecauseIwasn’tafraidtolove;Iwelcomedthefeeling.
“Okay,Raife.”Ireachedupandtrailedmyfingersdownhisjaw.
Hiseyelidsfluttered,butthenthatfearsurgedupsostronglythatitdrownedoutalltheadorationleftinhimandhesteppedback.
He’satwaralready,Ithought.Awarwithhimself.
AndtherewasnothingIcoulddoaboutit.
“Staybehindme,”hemuttered,andthentookoffintothewoods.
WithasighIfollowedhimandshoveddownallofthetumultuousfeelingsIwashaving.
Wetrudgedthroughthewoods,followingthemap.Raifekepthishoodpulledupoverhiselvinearsandanarrownockedintohisbow.IwasafootbehindhimtheentirewayaswewoundthroughthepaththatAutumnhadleftusonthemap.Therewerelittleclueslettingusknowweweregoingtherightway.Aflatstackofrocks,aribbontiedtoatree.Iassumedthispathkeptoneoutofsightofanyofthewoodlandguards,andIwasright,becausewhenthegiantNightfallcastleloomedinthedistanceInearlycriedoutinrelief.
Itwasmyhome—filledwithbittersweetmemories,butmyhomenonetheless.
RaifestoppedabruptlyandIslammedintohisback.
“What’swrong?”Iasked.
Heshookhishead.“Nothing.It’sjust…biggerthanIthought.”
Inodded.TheNightfallqueenwasavisionary,aninventor,abuilder.Everythingwasbig,strong,madeofsteelorstone.Madetolastandmadefromtheblood,sweat,andtearsoftheNightfallpopulation.Whatthehumanslackedinmagic,theymadeupforingoodold-fashionedhardwork.
WewerestillhiddeninthetreelineandIwatchedhisfaceashestaredupattheloomingfifty-footstonewallerectedaroundthecity.Hisgazeflickedtothedozensofarcherspatrollingthetopwall,andtherivermoatthatranaroundtheentirecity.Hiseyesheldwonder,disappointment,anddetermination.Ormaybethat’swhatIfeltfromhim.
“It’snearlyimpenetrable,”hebreathed.“Foralargearmytobreachthatwilltake…”Ilethimtrailoff,knowinghismindwasworkingoutthekinksofhiseventualwarplan.Whilehestared,workingthroughallthedifferentwaysofattack,IturnedaroundeveryfewsecondsandscannedthetreelineforNightfallwarriors.Ihadthoughtupacoverstoryifwewerecaughtbysoldiers,butIwashopingthatdidn’thappen,becauseIwasn’tsureifRaifewouldgoforit.Humanscouldn’tsmellsupernaturals.SolongasRaifedidn’tshowhisearsweshouldbeokay.I’dmadehimtakeoffanyinsigniaofArchmerebeforeweleft.Thequeendidemployafewsniffers,buttheywererare.Notmanyfaewantedtobetraytheirownkindforgoldcoin.
“Weshouldmove.”IfinallydraggedRaifeawayfromhisgawkingandtowardsthetwosharprocksthatmatchedtheonesonthemapthatAutumnhaddrawn.She’dsketchedalogandthenaplussignandthenaboat.Iwasn’tsurewhatitmeant,butIwashopingitwouldmakesensewhenwereachedthetwosharprocks.
Raifefollowedmylead,andIquietlycelebratedwhenInoticedthetworocksjuttingoutofthegroundjustafewpacestoourright.Therockswereattheedgeoftherivermoat,andwhenwereachedthemIlookeddownatthehollowed-outlogonshoreandgrinned.
Thelogwasaboat.Log,plussign,boat.Anditlookedlikeitwouldn’tfitmorethanthreegrownmen,hencewhythisroutewasonlyenoughforthree.
Blessyou,Autumn
Shehadnoideathatshewassavingmyauntrightnow.I’dhavetoeventuallygetwordtoheraswell,andgetheroutofthecitybeforeanattack.Buttherewasaslightchanceshewouldspreadwordtoothersandthenthequeenwouldfindout,soI’dhavetofigureoutawaytojusttakeherandkeepherlockeddownuntilaftertheattack.Thoughitseemedweweremonthsawayfromthat,soallIreallyneededtofocusonnowwasmyauntandhealingherofherseizures.
Raifereacheddownandgraspedtheedgeofthehollowed-outlog,usingtherocktosteadyhimselfashesethisbowinsideandthensteppeddown.Thetwosharprockswerelarge,andwewerepositionedbetweenthem,sounlessyouwerestandingonthehighcastlewalldirectlyinfrontofus,youcouldn’tseeus.RaifestretchedoutahandformeandIgrabbedit,aimingonefootfortheboat,andthenpushedofftheground.ThesmalllogcanoewobbledandIhadtosuppressashriekasIfellforward.Raifecaughtmebythehips,fallingbackwardswithmyweight,andthenIwassuddenlyontopofhim.HeatbloomedtolifebetweenusandIfelthisentirebodystiffenbeneathme.
Iswallowedhard,tryingnottothinkabouthowmuchIlovedhimunderneathme.HowmuchImissedhisbodypressedagainstmine.HowmuchIthoughtabouttheonetimewe’dlaidtogether.
Withlittleeffort,hehoistedmeupintoasittingposition,butnotbeforeglancingquicklydownatmylips.
Itfeltlikeasmalltriumphthathewasstillthinkingaboutmylips,butbeforeIcoulddwellonitRaifegrabbedaropeandgotintopositiontopullusacross.Itwasapulleysystem,Irealized.Theboatpulledbackandforth,sonomatterwhatsideyouwereonyoucouldpullitbackover.IwonderedifAutumnhadmadeitorsomeonebeforeher.Theriverwasn’tterriblywide,buttherewereallkindsofrumorsaboutthequeenpoisoningthewatersothatifyouwentinyouwoulddie.Thisforcedtheresidentstousethefrontgates,whichweremonitored.Isawsomeleatherglovesinthebottomoftheboatandhandedthemtohim.
“Don’ttouchthewater.Rumorsaysit’spoisoned,”Itoldhim,keepingmyvoicelow.
Hescowledatthemurkywaterandthentookthegloves,puttingthemon.“Ofcourseitis.”
Lookingupatthehighwallandtheguardspatrollingit,Raifewaitedforhischancetocross,eyeingthetallreedsontheothersideoftheriver.Thegrasseswerehigh,maybethreefeet,andwecouldeasilylieflatandinchacrosstoavoidbeingseen.Whenhefeltitwasagoodtimetogo,hepushedusofftheedgeoftheriverandthenpulledtheropequicklybutsilently.IcroucheddownasfarasIcouldgoasweweredirectlyexposedinthemiddleoftheriver.Raifegruntedandpuffedasheheavedforwardwitheachpull,sweatbeadinghisbrow.Hismusclesstrainedagainsthistunicashehauledusacrossthewateratbreakneckspeed.BeforeIknewit,wewereacrossandIreachedoutandheldontothetallreeds,hidingusinthemaswewaitedforthealarmthatwemighthavebeenseen.Raifeduckedaswell,layinghisheadagainstmyshoulderandfiddlingwiththelandanchor.Aminutepassed,andthentwo.Noarrowsflew,nohornsounded.Wewereclear.
Raifepulledoutthemapandweconsulteditunderthemoonlight.Therewasabigblackcircleabouttenfeetfromtheriver’sedge.Itwasatthebaseofthetreesplitintwo,anditwasmarkedwithoneword:hole.That’swherethemapended.
Hole.
Helookedatmepleadingly.Thiswasmyhometownafterall.ButthethingaboutgrowingupinNightfallwasthatourqueenwasconstantlyparanoidofassassination.Wehadcurfews,andifwewantedtotravelwehadtoregister.Wedidn’tjustfrolicalongthepalacewallsstaringattrees.Ishrugged,lookingatafewtreestenortwentypacesaway
Autumnwasdrunkonelfwinewhenshemadethis.Thewordholewasbarelylegible,andthesplittree,ifyoulookedclosely,wasn’treallysplitintwosomuchasitcouldhavejustbeenabaddrawingofatreefromadrunkengirl.
Tippingmyheadinthedirectionofthetrees,Ihikedupmydressandbegantocrawlonallfoursthroughthetallgrass.
“Youshouldhaveworntrousers,”Raifemutteredbehindme.
Iscoffed.“Nonsense,Iwanttolookprettywhilepullingoffarescue,”Ijoked.
Trouserswouldhavebeensmart,butIhadn’teventhoughtaboutituntilnow.Thepoorsilkofmydresswasalreadygettingstained.
Restinpeace,beautifuldress
WereachedaclusteroffourtreesandIsatinfrontofthem,stillhiddeninthetallgrass.Raifeseatedhimselfnexttome,lookingdownatthemap.“Noneofthemaresplitinhalf,andwhatdoesholemean?”
Isighed.“Listen,Autumnwouldneverintentionallyleadmeastray,butwewerereallydrunkthatnight.”
Raife’seyesdancedwithsomethingIcouldn’tplace.“Yes.Iremember.”
Mybellywarmedatthewayhesaidit,andIwonderedifwe’ddonesomethingIwishedIremembered.
“Somaybeherdrawingjustwasn’tgood.Ithastobeoneofthesetrees.”Ipointedtothefourofthembeforeus.
Raifenodded,lookingperplexed.“Okay,andtheword‘hole?’Onceinsidethecity,itshowsuscomingupastormdrain.Isstormdrain‘hole’inAutumn’sdrunkenlanguage?”
ThiswasabsolutelynotthetimetogigglebutIcouldn’thelpit.“Ithinkitmightbe,”Itoldhim,andthenchewedmylip.Wasthereaholeinthetreewithakeytothestormdrain?Hadshemeanttofinishthemapbutwegotdrunkanditslippedhermind?IwishedIrememberedeverythingfromthatnightsothatIwouldknow.Gettingonmyhandsandkneesagain,Icrawledtothebaseofthefirsttree,inspectingit.
Iwenttothesecondtreebutfoundnothing.ItwasasIwascrawlingovertothethirdthatmyhandsuddenlycamedowntothegroundandfellintoa—
“Hole!”Iwhisper-screamed,losingbalance.IthrewmyselftothesidesoIwouldn’tfallintothegiantgapingholeintheground.Itwasimpossibletoseewiththetallgrasssurroundingitunlessyouwereclosetoit,anditlookedwideenoughforaverylargemantocrawldown.
Raifecrawledupbesidemeandwestareddownintothehole.Itwascompletelyblack,whichwasactuallyterrifying.
“Arewesupposedtogodownthere?”Iaskedhim.“Doyouthinkthisisthestormdrainthatleadsintothecity?”
Raifefrowned.“Ihopeit’sasecrettunneltothequeen’sbedroom.I’llslitherthroatinhersleepandendthiswarbeforeitstarts.”
Iknewhewasdeadserious,soIdidn’tlaugh.
“Ihighlydoubtthatthequeenwouldhaveasecretaccessunguardedlikethis.”Ifeltaroundtheoutsideoftheholeandmyfingerscaughttheedgeofcoldsteel.Igasped.“Itisastormdrain!”
Helookedimpressedforamoment,andthenstuckhisheadintotheholebeforecomingbackup.“Ihearslowtricklingwater,”heconfirmed.
Itwasdryseason,sohopefullythatmeantweweren’tabouttogoswimming.
“Doyoumindjumpingintothedarkscaryholefirst?”Iaskedwithanervouslaugh.
Raifegavemeawinningsmilethatmademystomachflipover.“Always,”hesaid,andtherewassomethingaboutthatwordandthewayhesaiditthatmeltedmyheart.
Withafearlesswink,heleaptintothedarkabyssandIimmediatelyheardthesplashingofwaterashelanded.“Jumpdown,I’llcatchyou!”
Iswallowedhard,closingmyeyes,andthenjumpedupintotheair,anddown.Hisarmscamearoundme,hookingundermykneesandback,holdingmetohischest.Iwasplungedintocompletedarkness,onlythebeatingofRaife’sheartandhisstrongarmstokeepmesane.ApurplelightthenilluminatedthespaceandIlookeduptoseethatitwascomingfromhim.Hewasstaringdownatmewithaseriouslookonhisface.
“Beingclosetoyoulikethis…it’sthebestfeelingintheworld,”hebreathed.
Iforgotwherewewerethen.WhoIwas.Whatwasupordown.Iwasjustlostinhiseyes,whichwereglowinglightpurplewithelvinmagic.Whatwashetalkingabout?ItcameoutofnowherebutIdidn’tcare.Ijustsmiled.
“Youtakethepainaway.Iforgetwhatit’slikenottobeconsumedbygriefandrevengeallthetime,”heclarified,anditwaslikeI’dbeenplungedintoicecoldwater.
Oh
HewantedtobeclosetomebecauseIwasanempath,notbecauseIwas…me.
“Gladtohelp,”Isaidwithawansmile.Wasthiswhatitwaslikeforhismothertoo?Alwayshavingpeoplewantherforherpower?IwishedshewerestillalivesothatIcouldask.Itwouldbenicetoknowanotherempath.
Inoticedametalladderbehindhim.“Ladderforthewayback,”Ipointedout,hopingtocutthistension.Inthismoment,Iwasn’tsureIcouldstayfake-marriedtohimforthenextfiveyears.Itwouldbepainfulforme.
HestartedtowalktothecastleandItappedhischest.“Youcanputmedownnow.”
Heshookhishead.“You’llruinyourdress.Andyourshoesaren’trightforthis.”
Iwasn’tgoingtoarguewiththat,soIallowedhimtocarrymethenexthundredorsofeetunderthecastlewall,allthewhileabsorbingtheemotionscomingoffofhimasifitweresecondnature.
Guilt.Sadness.Fear.Lust.
Iusedtothinkthatthelustwasforme,butnowIwonderedifhewasjustthinkingofoneofthepreviousgirlshe’dbedded.Thiswholeempaththingwasnew,andpickinguponemotionsinrealtimewashardtodiscern.
Isighed,wishingsomeonewouldcomealongandtakeawaymyheartacheandrejectionaseasilyasIcouldtakehis.
Raifestoppedbeneathabigmetalstormdrainwithanotherladderhangingfromitandlookeddownatme.“Youthinkthisisit?”
Inodded;I’dbeentrackinghowdeepinwe’dgone.“Oneofmany,butthisisclosertothewestwall,whichiswhereIlived.It’sprettyquietatnightsinceit’sfullofneighborhoods.”
Raifeheavedmeontotheladder.Iclungtoitashethenreachedupandpushedthesteeldrainupandoverwithagrunt.
“Shhh,”Itoldhim.
Hepaused,andthenpushedagain.Itwasn’tscraping,soIwasguessingthiswasinthegrassesbythecommunitygarden.Ididn’tknowwhereeverystormdrainwas,butIknewgenerallywherewewere,andthatwastheonlygrassyareanearthewestwall.Whenthedraincapwascompletelyoff,Iclimbeduptheladderandpeekedmyheadoutafewinches.
Ididn’texpectmyhearttoachewhenIlookeduponthesleepystreetofmyoldneighborhood,butitdid.Wewereinthegardens,oneofmyfavoriteplaces,andIcouldseetheuniversityoffinthedistance,andthequeen’spalace.Autumn’scottagewaswithinstone’sthrow,andsowasmyaunt’s.Tearswelledinmyeyes.Iwasn’tpreparedfortheemotionsofitall.
“Allclear?”Raifeaskedbelow.
Iwipedatmyeyesandnodded,hoistingmyselfupoutofthedrain.IstoodandRaifepoppedupoutoftheholeinthegroundtooandstoodbesideme,lookingaroundwildlywithhisbowdrawn.
“Putthatinyourcloak,”Itoldhim.“Theywillassumeyouarehumanifyouarewithme.”
Heobligedandtuckeditintohiswaistbelt,underhiscloakwiththehoodpulledup.Iwatchedashiseyesdartedaroundinfascination.Grabbinghishand,Ipulledhimontothecobblestonewalkwayandpasttherowsofhouses.Mystreetwasthreemoreover,andwe’dhavetopassMcFee’sTaverntogetthere.Technically,itwasaftercurfew,buttheguardsletusdrinkatthetavernandgorighthomeifwedidn’tgetinfightsorvandalizeproperty.Iwonderedifanyofmyfriendsfromtheuniversitywereinsiderightnow.
Penelope?Matt?DidtheyallthinkIwasaslavesoldofftosomehorriblemasterwhowhippedmedaily?Asweapproachedthetavern,afigurewalkedupoutofoneofthealleys.
Irecognizedhisguard’suniformimmediately.
Wastingnotime,IpushedRaifeintothewallofMrs.Honeycutt’shouseandthenpressedmylipstohis.Hefroze,seeminglyinshockatmysuddenkiss,butthentheguard’svoicemadeitswaytous.
“Hey,you’reoutaftercurfew,”hesnapped
Raife’slipspartedthen,histonguestrokingmine;hishandcamearoundtograspmybutt.Imoanedinsurprise,notevencaringifthiswasallforshow,andheatflaredtolifebetweenus.Theguard’svoicewascloserthistime.
“Lovebirds…timetogohomeorI’llhavetotakeyouin.”
Webrokeawaypanting,lockingeyesforamoment,andIforgotabouttheguardorthefactthatweweredoingahigh-stakesrescuemission.ItwasjustRaifeandIinthismoment.
“Getyourladyhome.”TheguardlookedatRaifeandRaifenodded,threadinghisfingersthroughmine,strokingmypalmandthenpullingmeawayfromtheguardandtowardsthetavern.
Mylegsfeltweakfromthatkiss,butIknewRaifehadonlyplayedalongfortheguard.“See,topmarksintheatre,”Itoldhim.
Raifegavemeasideglance,andIwassurprisedtoseehurtthere.
“Thisismystreet,”Isaidbeforehecouldspeak,andpointedtoourlanejustbeyondthetavern.Musicblaredfromtheopenwindowsoftheneighborhoodpub,andIwonderedwhowasplayingtonight.MoxieandtheHeartbreakers?TheRadicalSix?
Raifescreweduphisface.“Whatisthatawfulmusic?”
Ilaughed.“Rock.”
ThedrumswereloudandnothingliketheyhadinArchmere.Itprobablyjustsoundedlikeabunchofnoise.
Graspinghishand,Ibrokeintoarundownmystreetandtowardsthelittlebrowncottagewiththebirdfeederoutside.Ihadn’tseenmyauntinoveramonth.Notsincetheywereyankingmeawayasaslave.
AutumnpromisedtobringhernewsthatIwasaliveandwellinArchmere,butIknewshewouldn’tbelieveituntilshesawit.Shewasveryprotectiveoverme,muchlikeRaife.
Raifekeptscanningthestreet,leftandright,untilwereachedmydoor.
ThelittlesignIhelpedmyauntiepaintwhenIwasfouryearsoldhungabovethedoorway.“Lovegrowshere,”itread.Thepinkandpurpleflowerswerechippingoff,buttheblackletteringwasstilllegible.We’dpainteditafterImovedinwithher,aftermyparentsdiedandsheassuredmethiswouldalwaysbeahomewhereIfeltsafeandloved.Ibentdownandpulledupthepotnearthedoor,grinningwhenIsawthekeywasstillthere.
Slippingthekeyintothelock,RaifeandIsteppedinsideandIclosedthedoorquicklybehindus.Thehousewasdarkandquiet,andIknewshewouldbesleepingatthishour.Ididn’twanttoscareherbyloomingoverherbed,soIcalledoutloudlyintohouse,“Auntie!”
WepassedthelittlesittingroomandIcalledoutagain,“Auntie,it’sme!”
Therewasarustlinginthebackofthehouse,nearherroom,andthenIheardher,“Lani?”
Ibrokeintoarunthen,goingleftatthekitchenandthendownthehalltoheropendoor.Shewassittingontheedgeofherbedwiththelightturnedon.Herblanketswereatherwaist;shewaswearingoneofherfloralnightgowns.Ilookedatherwithtearsinmyeyes.Ididn’tevengiveherachancetospeak,Ijustcrashedintoherwiththebiggesthug,pushingherbackwardsonthebed.Herthroatylaughterfilledtheroomanditwasthebestsound,thesoundofmychildhood,ofhappinessandbetterdays.
Ipulledbacktolookather,andthesecondshesawmeshebrokeintoahugegrin.ButwhatIsawstoppedmedeadinmytracks.
Halfofherfacewasn’tmoving.Sheseemedtonoticemyreactionandtouchedtheslacksideofherface.“Ihadanotherseizureyesterday,abadone.Themedicinedoesn’tworkanymore.”
“Raife!”Icalled,buthewasrightthere,swoopinginfrontofme.Hepulledbackhishood.
“Hello…”Hekneltbeforeherandextendedhishand.“I’mKailani’shusband,thekingoftheelves.”
Myauntlookedlikeshewasinshock,whichwasunderstandable.“Soit’strue.”Shereachedoutandtookhishand.“Youshouldn’tbehere,”shetoldhim.“Thequeenhatesyou.”
Raifegaveheradazzlingsmile.“Well,thefeelingismutual.”
“Raifeisthegreatesthealerintherealm,Auntie.He’sgoingtofixyou,”Itoldher.
Raifeheldahandoverherheadandsquintedasifhewerereadingacomplicatedtext.Hefrowned,andthennoddedasifunderstandingsomething.
“Whatisit?”Iasked.
Raifelookedatmyauntinsteadofme.“Yourseizuresarecausedbyagrowthinyourbrain.Asthegrowthgetsbigger,itdamagesthesurroundingtissue.”
Myheartfeltlikeithadstoppedbeating.InallourtestsandallofourmachineshereinNightfall,wehadn’tfiguredthatout.“Amysteryillness”theycalledit.Seizuredisorderof“unknowncause,”they’dsaid.Theydruggedherinsteadoffindingtherootcause,andnowintensecondsRaifehadfigureditallout.
“Pleasetellmeyoucanfixit.”Ikneltbesidehimandtookherhand.
Raifegazedatmewithasmile,andthenatmyaunt.“Ican.ItwilltakeafewsessionsattheinfirmaryinArchmere.Thegoalistoslowlyshrinkthemass.Ifwedoittooquickly,itcandisturbthingsandcauseanotherseizure.Withthemassgone,youshouldgetfullfacialmovementbackimmediately.”
I’dbeenwatchingmyauntthisentiretime,stonyfaced,inshock,butatRaife’swordssheburstintotearsandthenpulledhiminforahug.
“Blessyou,child,”shewhisperedandIsmiled.
Watchingmyauntiecallthekingoftheelvesachildbroughtmegreatjoy.Andtomysurprise,Raifereachedaroundandreturnedherhug.
Whentheypulledback,myauntlookedbackatme.“Yougotmarriedwithoutme?”Shepickedupmyhandandinspectedthering.Raifehadgivenitbacktomesothatthepalacestaffdidn’taskquestionsifIwasseenwithoutit.
IglancedatRaifeandhenodded.I’dtoldhimthatIcouldlietoanyoneintherealmbutIwouldn’tlietomyaunt,soshewouldbetheonlypersonwewouldtell.
“It’sfake.InorderforRaifetogetwhathewantedfromhiscouncilandtopayoffmydebt.Infiveyears,wewillfileforadissolution,”Itoldher.
Shefrowned,lookingfromRaifetome.“Oh,”wasallshesaid,droppingtheringbackdown.
“Naturally,nooneknowsthat,soIwouldappreciateyourdiscretion,”Raifeadded.
Myauntnodded.“Aslongasyoutreatherwithrespectandkindness,Idon’tcarewhatkindoflittlearrangementyoutwohavegoingon.”
Isqueezedherhand,gratefulshewastakingthiswellandknowingonehundredpercentthatshewaslyingwhenshesaidshedidn’tcare.Shewantedmetomarryforlove—she’dalwaystoldmeso—butshewastryingtobeagreeable.Raifesensedthelietoo,becausehemadethefacehealwaysdidwhenheknewsomeonewaslying.Likehesmelledsomethingdistasteful.
“Shallwegetoutoftheplace?”Iaskedmyaunt.
Shestood,lookingaroundherroom.“HowlongshouldIpackfor?”
RaifeandIsharedanotherlook.ThewaronNightfallwashisthing,andIdidn’twanttospillthebeansandjeopardizethemissioninanyway.
Raifeclearedhisthroat.“ItwouldbemyhonorifyouwouldcomeliveatthepalacewithKailaniandIfortheforeseeablefuture.”
Myheartwarmedatthewayhe’dwordedit.Myauntseemedsurprisedatthat,hermouthpoppingopen,andthenshelookedatmeasifneedingconfirmation.
“Auntie,youcan’tcomeback.Youcanonlypackonebag,”Itoldher,hopingsheunderstoodIwouldneveraskthisifitwasn’timportant.Lifeordeath.
Sheswallowedhard,seemingtounderstandthatitwouldbeunsafetocomeback,andunsafemeantwar.
Myauntnodded.“Doesn’tmatter.Stuffdoesn’tmakeahome.Familydoes.”
Myheartpinchedatthat.
Overthenexttenminutesshepackedherbag,bringingitemsthatsurprisedme.Allofhersilver,whichmadesense,butnotasinglepieceofclothing,Iguessedbecauseshecouldmakemore;shewasanexpertseamstress.Shebroughtherfavoriteteamug,abunchofmybabypictures,andpictureswithmymomandhergrowingup,allofherjewelry,andabagofherfavoritecookies.
“Ready.”Shebeamed,alwaysinachippermood,andItriednottoreacttothefactthathalfofherfacewasn’tmoving.Raifegavemeasweetsmile,lettingmeknowhewouldhealherandallwouldbewell,andthenwemovedtothefrontdoor.Igavemyauntaquickrundownoftheescaperoute,knowingthatloweringherdowntheladderandintothetunnelwouldtakethelongesttimeandwe’dbethemostexposed.
“Theguardspatrolrightinfrontofthetavern.It’sabitlongerroutebutweshouldpasstheindustrialcomplexinstead,”myauntofferedafterItoldherwewereconfrontedwithaguardonourwayhere.
RaifelookedtometotaketheleadandInodded.Itwasagoodidea.Theindustrialcomplexwasonlybusyinthedaytime,andrarelyhadbutoneguardatnight.Iusedtosneakoverthereasateenandshootatglassbottletargetswithfriendswithourrocklauncherswemadeinschool.
“Let’sdoit,”Iagreed.
Raifeheldoutahand.“I’llletyouladiestakethelead.”
Myauntgavemeaknowinglook,alookthatsaidshelikedhim,andItriednottoblush.Openingthefrontdoor,Ilookedleftandright,makingsureitwasclear.Itwas.WeallsteppedoutontothestreetandIpalmedthekeyinmyhand,seeingnousetolockuporputitback.Iwantedtokeepitasamemento.Myauntstartedtowalkleft,awayfromthetavernanddownthebackoftheroadthatwouldleadtotheindustrialcomplex,butthenIgotanidea.
“Berightback,”Itoldthem,andturned.Liftinguponmytiptoes,Igrabbedthe“lovegrowshere”sign,havingtowiggleitbackandforthtoloosenthenailthathelditinplace.WhenIfinallygotitoff,myauntwaswaitingbehindmewithhersmallsuitcaseopen.
Igrinned,placingitontopofallofherbelovedpossessions,andthenwewerereadytogo.
Wemadequickworkofthelongerroute,butaswenearedtheindustrialbuildingInoticedthelightswereoninoneofthem.Thiswaswhereallofthequeen’smachinesweremadeandtestedandreplicatedenmasse.Alotofthecitizensworkedmachinefactoryjobs,buttheywereusuallyonlyworkingduringthedaylighthours.
Therewereshadowsmovingbehindthefrostedglasswindowsandwewalkedfaster,hopingtopassbeforeanyonesawus.Justaswenearedtheclosestwindowwithalighton,ablood-curdlingscreamrippedthroughtheairandthehaironmyarmsstoodup.
RaifestoppedandIdidaswell,sharingalookwithhim.
Myauntchewedherlip,eyeingthewindow,thenthescreamcameagain.Itwasfemale,anditwasclearshewasinpainorbeingtortured.
“NotsureIcansleepatnightifwepassbyanddon’ttrytohelp.”Myauntwasalwaysdirectandtothepoint,whichwasabigthingIlovedabouther.
“Same,”Iagreed.
Raifesighed,pullingouthissmalldagger,andhandedittome.“Youknowhowtouseone,Iassume?”He’dseenmefighttheslaverthefirstday,andalthoughIdidn’trelishviolenceIwoulduseitwhenneeded,withouthesitation.
Inoddedandhepulledouthisbow.Turningtomyaunt,heheldhergaze.“Meetusatthegardenstormdrain.Ifaguardstopsyouontheway,tellhimyou’releavingyourhusband,thatyoucaughthimcheating.Makeabigsceneandmaketheguardfeeluncomfortable.”
Myauntnodded.“Won’tbetoofarfromthetruth.”
Iwinced;herhusbandreallyhadcheatedonher,butitwashewholeftfortheotherwoman.Raifelookedstricken,butmyauntsmiledhercrookedsmile.“Hisloss.Seeyousoon.Savethatgirl,oratleastputheroutofhermisery.”
Wenodded,butthethoughtofkillingthegirlhadn’tcrossedmymind,andnowIfeltsick.FOURTEEN
Weslippedthroughtheopenunguardedgateoftheindustrialmachineparkandthenapproachedthebuilding.Thewindowsatstreetlevelwerefrostedwithanacidwashonthelowerhalftogiveprivacy,buttheupperhalfofthewindowwascrystalclear.Thereweretwowindowswiththelightson,andoneofthemwascrackedopenforfreshair.Ifwecouldjustclimbontopofsomethingandpeekoverthefrostedbit,wecouldgetabetterviewofwhattheHadeswasgoingon.
Thescreaminghadstoppedandthatworriedme.Didtheykillher?Whowassheandwhathadshedonetodeservesuchtreatment?
“Here,”Raifewhispered,andIpeeredovertoseehimliftingabigwoodencratethatonceheldoneofthequeen’smachines.Scurryingovertohelphim,Ihookedmyfingersintotheslatsandcarrieditovertothebaseofthewindowthatwasclosedsotherewaslesschancewewouldbeseen.
Ifweheldabsolutelystill,wecouldhearthevoicesinside.
“Isshedead?”amansaid.
“No,justpassedout,”anothermalesaid.
Oncethelargecratewasfirmlyinplace,RaifeandIbothscrambledquietlyontopofitandthenlookedateachother.
Itwasasifwewerewaitingfortheothertosaythiswasahorribleideaandweshouldn’tlook.WeshouldruntothegardenandgetbacktoArchmereandforgetweeverheardthosescreams.Butthen,asifwesharedonemind,webothslowlyraisedourselvesuptopeerintotheclearpartofthewindow.IttookamomentformymindtoprocesswhatIwasseeing.Therewasalargemachinethesizeandappearanceofagiantfanwithaholeinthecenter.Inthatholewasaglassboxtheshapeofacoffin.Intheboxwasagirl,limpbutbreathingslowly.Thetipsofherearsindicatedshewaseitherelforfae.Icouldn’ttellfromherebutIfeltRaifegorigidbesideme,whichmademewonderifshewasanelf.Therewerefourguards,oneateachcorneroftheroom;theyheldvariousweaponsthatwouldoverwhelmthesmalldaggerIhadbrought.
“Willherearsshrinkoncethetreatmentisdone?”abaldmanwearingawhitelabcoataskedanothermalewithlongreddishhairthatwastiedbackintoabunathisnape.
“No.IalreadytoldQueenZaphiraIcouldbuildheramachinethatstripsamagicalcreatureoftheirpowersotheyappearhuman,butitwillnotmakethemonegenetically.”
Dizzinesswashedovermeathiswords.Theyjust…didtheysomehowstripthatgirlofhermagic?Thatwaspossible?Bileroseinmythroat,andRaifeeversoquietlypulledouthisbow.Ireachedoutandstoppedhishand,givinghimapleadinglook.Ifhesoundedthealarmnow,wewouldnevergetoutofherewithmyaunt.
IcouldnotonlyseetherageboilinginRaife’sexpression,Icouldfeelit,hisandthenmine.Iwasangrytoo.Iwantedtolightthisentireplaceonfireandburnitalltotheground,butIalsowantedtolivetofightanotherday.Thequeenwasthebrainsofalloftheseinventions.Solongasshelivedtheywouldstillbepoppinguplongafterwedestroyedonescientistoronemachine.Shehadblueprintsofallthemachinesinhersafe,anddozensofengineersandscientists.Thesepeoplewereexpendable.IhopedtoconveythattoRaifewithalook.
“She’swaking,”theredheadsaid,andbothofourheadssnappedbackintheirdirection.Thegirlwhimperedasshelookedupatthetwomen.
“Displayyourpower,”oneofthemcommandedher.
Shelaythereshakinglikealeaf,sweating,andignoredhim.
“DisplayyourmagicnoworIturnthemachinebackon!”hesnapped,andsheflinched,holdingupherhand.Sheheldherfingersoutlikeclawsandstaredattheminshock.
Whathappenednextwastoomuchformetowatch.Agut-wrenchingwailrippedthroughtheroomandhersorrowslammedintomeasifIwererightinfrontofher.Ifellbackwards,scramblingofftheboxattherealizationthatshe’dlosthermagic,whatmadeherwhoshewas.
“WelcometoNightfall.Youarenowhuman.”Theman’svoicefilteredthroughthewindowandreachedmejustasIthrewupontherocks.Hersobsweresoulcrushing,filteringoutintothenight.Icouldn’timaginewhatitmustbeliketobehertofindouthermagichadbeenstrippedfromher.Shefelthalfempty,andmyempathicgiftwassoakingitallup,evenfromouthere.Itwastoomuchforme.
Iturned,wonderingwhyRaifewasn’tbehindme,whenIsawhimstandinginfrontofthenowcracked-openwindow,arrownockedinhisbow.
Iwantedtoscreamforhimtostopbutitwastoolate.BeforeIreachedhimhe’dalreadyloosedthreearrows.I’dneverseensomeonemovethatfast.Hisarmwasablur,thearrowshittingtheirmarks,becauseIcouldheargruntsofpainandshoutsofsurpriseinside,beforebodiesthuddedtotheground.BythetimeIreachedthewindowtopeerthrough,everymaninthatroomwasonthegroundbleedingout.Arrowinneck,inchest,instomach.Itwasinsane,andInowknewwhyRaifecommandedthearmyofBowMen.Hewasthefastest,mostaccuratemarksmenI’deverseen.
ThegirlintheglasscoffinsatboltuprightthenandstaredatRaife.
Hepulledhishoodbackandshewept.“Mylord.”
Ididn’tknowifheknewherpersonallyorjustasanyelfwouldknowherking,butsheleaptoutoftheglasscaseandthensprintedacrosstheroominrecordtime.ThefeelingscomingfromRaifeweresimilartowhathefeltforme,anintenseneedtoguardthiswomanandbringhertosafety.Shewasoneofhis.JealousysurgedupinsideofmebutIpusheditdown.Itwasn’trighttofeelthatway.Hedidn’tfeelromanticallytowardsher,atleastnotanyfeelingsthatIfelt,butstill,Icouldn’thelptheenvy.JustanothersignhowfarI’dfalleninthisone-waymarriage.
Raifepushedthewindowwideopenandtoldhertojumpasheheldouthisarms.Shelookedtobeinherearlytwenties,andwaswearingathinwhitemedicalgown.Withouthesitation,sheleaptandRaifecaughther,settinghertoherfeet.
“Canyourun?”heasked.
Shenodded,hereyesbloodshot,lipquivering.Sheseemedtonoticemeforthefirsttimeandburstintoasob.“Myqueen…”Shereachedformeasifsheneededafellowfemalecompanion,andeventhoughIknewitwasgoingtobeawful,Igraspedherhands.
Absolutedesolationanddarknessenvelopedmethenandthegirlgasped.“Empath,”shewhispered,lookingrelieved.
Therewasnotimeforthis,soIpushedheremotionsdeepdowninsideofmesothatIcouldstillfunction,andthendraggedheralongasRaifedirectedustorun.
TearsleakedfrommyeyesandmuffledsobsescapedmeasIprocessedtherealizationthatshewouldneveragainhealanyone,norbeconsideredanelfamongherownkind.Raifewasnervouslycastingsideglancesatmeaswerandowntheroad,comingtotheedgeofthepalacebeforeneedingtocutbackintotheneighborhoodandavoidthetavern.Myauntwouldbewaitingatthegardens.Probablyworriedsickbynow.
Aswepassed,Raifestopped,tuckingusintotheshadowsandeyeingthepalaceinthedistancewithdisdain.
“Icouldsneakin.FindZaphira.Killher.Meetupwithyou,”hebreathedagainstmyear.
Ishookmyhead,pointingtothelargecolumnsthatdecoratedthefrontwalk.Therewereatleasttwentyofthem.“Youseethosecolumns?”
Henodded.
“Theyarehollow.Aguardstandsinsideeachone.Andthereareprobablyfiftymoreinsideandtwentyoutsideherbedchamber.Raife,you’regoodbutnotthatgood.”
ThehopediedinhiseyesandIhatedthatIwastheonetodothattohim.
“Weneedtheothers.Weneedanarmy,”Itoldhim.
“Iwanttogohome,”thegirlwhimpered,stillclutchingmyhand.
Iwastornbetweenmyownemotions,thebrokengirlbesideme,andnowRaife’sbloodthirstyrevenge.Itwascausingmyempathicgifttogohaywireandoverwhelmme.
“Myauntisprobablyworried,andsomeonewillfindthosebodiessoon,”IinformedRaife.
Hedippedhishead,adefeatedfrownpullingathislips,thenweranforthegardens.
Itwasashortrun,butIcountedtheamountoftimeshelookedbackatthecastle.
Five.
Fivetimeshewrestledwithditchingusandgoingafterthewomanwhomurderedhisentirefamilyinonenight.Ididn’tblamehim.Wefoundmyauntsittingneartheopenstormdrainclutchingherbag,andRaifehelpedallofusdownintothetunnelquickly.Hejoinedusinsidetheankle-deepwaterandthencoveredthegrateoverheadsowecouldn’tbefollowed.
Illuminatingourpath,wemadeittothehollowed-outlogboatattheriverwithoutincident.Raifehadtotakemyauntacrossfirst,thendoublebackformeandthegirl.ShetoldmehernamewasNatasia,andshewouldn’tleavemyside,nodoubtenjoyingthenumbnessofnothavingtofeelheremotionaldamageandpain.BecauseIwasfeelingitall—nauseaswaminsidemystomach,andmymindwasinadarkplace.ButIkeptquiet.Thispoorgirlhadjustbeentorturedwithinaninchofherlifeandthenstrippedofherpower.IwasgoingtocarrythatpainaslongasIcould.
Wetrudgedthroughthewoods,Raifecarryingmyaunt’ssuitcaseinonehandandguidingherelbowwiththeother.Watchinghimtendtoherlikeshewashisownfamilyjustmademyhopelessnessdeepen.
Whenwefinallyreachedtheholeinthewall,Ididn’thavemuchwilltolive.Whatwasthepoint?NoonewouldlovemenowthatIhadnopowers.Icouldn’ttellmyparentsIwas…magicallycastrated.
Ishookmyhead,dislodgingthoughtsthatwerenotmyown,andlookeddownatNatasia,whorestedherheadonmyshoulder.
RaifehelpedmyauntthroughthegapinthewallandthenreachedforNatasiajustasthesirensoundedbehindusatNightfallCastle.
“Timetoridefastandhardoutofhere,”Raifesaid,yankingthegirlfrommyclutchesandshovingherthroughtheopeninginthestone.
Istoodthereinshock,ashellofself-pityasRaifesteppeduptothreadhisfingersintomyhairandcupmyface.“Kailani,lookatme.”
Ilookedupathim,realizingthatIwassobbinguncontrollably.
“Kailani,listentomyvoice.Mymotherhadtolearnwhentoletgoofotherpeople’semotions.Asanempath,youtakeeverything,absorbitlikeaspongeandprocessitwaytoofast.Youhavetorememberwhoyouare.Youarenother.Youareloved,youhaveafamily,you—”
“Youdon’tloveme,”Isaidbetweensobs.“AndnowthatIcan’theal,noonewill.”
Raifelookedconcerned,hiseyesgoingtomylips.“Kailani,snapoutofit!Thisisn’tyou.”Heshookmyfacealittleinhishands,butItriedtopullawayfromhim.
“Justletmego.Letmedie!”Iscreamed,wantingtogobackandletthemfindme,killmeratherthanlivelikethiswithoutmyhealingmagic.Iwasher.Shewasme.Wewereone.
Raifepulledmeagainsthim,pinningmybodytohis,andthenleanedforward,brushinghislipsovermineeversosoftly.Itremindedmeofourfirstkiss,theonewhenhewasdrunkandsaidhedidn’tremember.Hewastoyingwithme,teasingme.AndIlovedeverysecondofit.
“Lani,comebacktome.Ineedyou,”hewhisperedagainstmymouth.Igaspedandthestormcloudofemotionsretreated,andIwassuddenlymyselfagain.Mychestheaved,thesobbingstopped,andIfinallyfeltclearheaded.Itwaslikebeingintoxicatedandthenrapidlysobering.
Ishookmyself,pullingbacktolookathim.“Yourememberourfirstkiss?”Iaskedhim.
Hegavemeacrookedsmile.“Amandoesn’tforgetakisslikethat.I’llrememberitaslongasIlive.”Hethendroppedmyfaceandpulledmetowardstheholeinthewallasmyheadswamwithwhathe’djustsaid.Hedidrememberthekissandhe’duseditagaintobringmeoutofwhateverthatwas.
“Mylord!”Cahalwasontheotherside,soundingpanicked.
Thebarkingoffar-offscentdogsrangthroughouttheforest,soIallowedRaifetoguidemethroughtheopening.Thenhecamethroughhimself.
WhenwestoodupinthefarmlandsofArchmere,Inearlycollapsedinrelief.
Wemadeit!Iscannedthespacetotakeinallthatwashappening.MyauntwasconsolingpoorNatasiaasRaifeguidedmeawayfromher,acleartwenty-footdistance.
“Youcan’tletherbealone,”Itoldhim.“Herthoughtsaretoodarkrightnow.”
Frankly,Iwasafraidshe’dtriedtoendherlife.That’showI’dfeltonlymomentsago.
Raifenodded.“I’llhaveherunderround-the-clocksurveillanceattheinfirmary.AndI’llstartyouraunt’sfirsthealingtonight,”hesaid.“ButIcan’tletyounearherrightnow.Youneedtobealoneandrest.Thatalwayshelpedmymom.”
Ithreadedmyfingersthroughhisandsqueezedhishand.“Thankyou.”
Iwasslightlyembarrassedaboutmybehavioramomentago,sayinghedidn’tlovemeandallthatotherstuff.
Raifesqueezedmyhandinreturnandthengotmeinthecarriage.“I’llberightback,”hesaid,andthendisappeared.Amomentlatermyauntwasthere,climbingin.
Shesatacrossfromme,andstaredatmeinthedimcarriagelight.Iwonderedwhatshewouldsay.Wewerefinallyalone,andshe’djustbeentornfromherhomeinthemiddleofthenightindefinitely.ShefoundoutIwasfake-marriedandthenhadconsoledapoorgirlwho’dbeentortured.
Shelookedmerightintheeyeandgavemealopsidedsmile.“Ifyou’requeen,whatdoesthatmakeme?Surelyaduchessorsomething?”
Iburstoutintolaughter,whichturnedtotearsofrelief.Myaunt’slightheartedpersonalitywasanotheroneofmyfavoritethingsabouther.Steppingovertositbesideher,Ilaymyheadonhershoulder,snugglingnexttoherasIwouldwhenIwasalittlegirl.Herenergywascoolasabreezeinwinter,andInearlysighedinrelief,takingthatintomyselfandallowingittorelaxmyfrazzledthoughts.SleepwaspullingatmylimbsbutItriedtokeepmyeyesopenasIheardRaifebarkingorderstohismen.HewascallingtheBowMentroopsuptodefendthewalljustincaseZaphiradecidedtocomeover.ThenheaskedCahaltotakethegirltotheinfirmary.
Myauntsighed,andIcouldfeelhersuddenanxietyfilluptheentirecarriage,whichhadmealert.
“He’sgoingtobringwartoNightfall,isn’the?That’swhyyouhadtogetmeout?”sheasked.
Ipulledmyheadupandlookedather.Herfriendswerethere,andmychildhoodfriends,andwarwasn’tgoodforthepeople—itneverwas—butthequeenhadtodie.She’dkilledhisentirefamilyandalmostpoisonedme.
“Yes.QueenZaphirawilldie.Iwillmakesureofit.”IsurprisedmyselfwithhowmuchI’dtakenonRaife’sduty.
Myauntjustnodded,asifsheexpectedasmuchtoeventuallyhappen.Withthat,webothrestedourheadsoneachother,andthenIdriftedofftosleep.
WhenIwokeup,itwasonlyforamomentasRaifewasslippingmeintoourbedinhisroom.Thenagain,Iwokeforasecondtime,inthemiddleofthenightasthebedroomdoorshutandIsawhimsleepingonthechaiselounge.Irememberthepangofsadnessthatslicedthroughmychestthathewouldn’tsleepnexttome,butIwastootiredtodwellonit.FIFTEEN
ThenextmorningIwokelateandfoundthatitwasalreadylunchtime.RaifewasintheprivatediningroomwhenIentered,lookingatsomemaps.
“Morning,”hesaidingreeting.“Natasiaisdoingmuchbetterwithanemotionalhealingbutisstillonwatch,andyouraunt’smasshasshrunkabouthalfthesize.She’srestingintheinfirmaryforthenexttwodaysjustasaprecaution.Shewillbeverysleepy.”
He’dalreadydoneit?I’dwantedtobethere,butIsupposetimewasoftheessence.Shecouldhaveanotherseizure,andthenwewouldbeintroublewithmoredamage.
“Thankyou,”Itoldhim.
Henodded,chewingathislip,andIknewhewasdealingwithalotthismorningasking.
“DidNightfallretaliate?”Iasked.
Herubbedhisface.“Notyet.Iwastoldtheirscentdogsfoundthegapinthefenceandthentheyleft.”
Wehadn’ttalkedaboutthemachineyet,theonethatcouldstripusofourpower.Itfelttoodarktospeakoutloud,butIknewwehadto.
“Raife.Thatmachine…youhavetostopher.”EmotioncloggedmythroatwhenIthoughtofNatasiaintheinfirmaryontwenty-four-hourwatchbecausethatmachinehadtakeneverythingfromher.Magicwaswhatmadeupamagicalcreature’sessence.NowthatIhadthisabilitytobeempathic,orbreathetheBreathofLifeintosomeone,Icouldn’timagineitbeingtakenaway.
“Iknow,”hesaid,hisvoicesoundinghollowasifhewaswarringwithsomething.“IneedtogogetwordtoDraeaboutthismachine.Hispeoplecannotlivewithouttheirmagic,butIdon’ttrustamessenger.Itwouldcausepanicacrosstheentirerealm.”
InoddedandRaifeshookhishead.“ButIalsoneedtostayandprepareforapossibleretaliation.ThosearrowsIleftinthemenareelvin-made.ThequeenwillknowitwassomeonefromArchmerewhoassassinatedherscientists.”
“Sowhat?”Igrowled,andRaifeappearedshockedatmysuddenanger,hiseyesgoingwide.“Letthatevilwitchtrytoretaliate.”
Raifelookedapprovinglyoveratme.“Myqueen,IadmireyourwillingnesstogotowarwithZaphira,butifsheweretoattackinfullforcewithoutmehere,itwouldendindisaster.”
“Ifyoudon’tgetwordtoDrae,thenshecouldusethatmachineonthepeopleofEmbergateandkillthem.Thedragonkingwouldbewhollyunprepared.”
Heleanedforwardandplacedhisfaceinhishands.Iabandonedmylunchanddraggedmychairclosertohim.WhenIsatnexttohim,helookedupatmeandIsawalloftheresponsibilityofakingwarringinhiseyes.
“IfyoucangetDraetogotoThorngateandtellLucienofthismachine,youmightbeabletounitealloftheracesagainsther.IknowhowthingsworkinNightfall,Raife.She’llputallofherengineersintoanassemblyline,reproducingthatonemachine,andbymonth’sendshewillhaveahundredofthem.Byyearsend,athousand.”
HeaudiblychokedatmywordsandInodded.
“Sogo.GogetDrae,andifanythinghappenswhileyou’regone,thecouncilandIcanhandleit.”
Hiseyesburnedintomineasifassessingmyabilitytodoso.
Ileanedbackandcrossedmyarms,raisingoneeyebrow.“IreadtheentiretyofTheNatureofWarinyourroomtheotherday.Icanhandleaskirmishattheborder.”
Henodded.“Good,becauseasqueenthat’sexactlywhatyou’llbecalledtodoinmyabsence.”
AnxietyroiledthroughmeatthatbutIjustnodded.Servantbecomesqueen,andthenactingwarleader?Soundedlikearecipefordisaster.
“I’llgiveZaphiraonemorenighttomakehermove.Ifshedoesn’t,I’llrideouttoEmbergatefirstthinginthemorning.I’lltellDraeaboutthemachine,andaskhimtoseeLucienwithme.”Hestoodthenandtoldmehehadmeetingstogetto.
Iinclinedmyheadandfinishedmylunchinrelativesilence.Ididn’tlikethislaidbackqueenrole.Iwantedtobeinonthemeetings.Imissedbeinghisassistantandbeingbusy,butIunderstoodthatjobwasnolongerappropriate.AtleastIdidn’tneedtotastethefoodanymore.Ineverlikedthat.
***
Thedaypassedquickly.Ispenttheentiretyofitattheinfirmarywithmyaunt,andevenvisitedNatasiabriefly,keepingadistancefromher.
“Ishouldgo,”Itoldmyaunt,yawning.ItwasafterdinnerandIwastiredeventhoughI’dsleptin.
Myauntnodded,she’dslepthalfthetimeIwasthereandspenttherestofthetimelisteningtomereadtoherquietly.
WhenIkissedhercheekshesmiled,withallofherfacialmuscles,andInearlyweptinrelief.“Goodnight,Auntie.”Istoodandcrossedtheroom,reachingforthedoor.
“Lani…”Myaunt’svoicewasserious,thekindofserioustonesheusedwhenIwasintroubleorshewantedtoconveysomethingwithgravity.
Iturnedandlookedatherinconcern.
“Helovesyou.Don’tlethimtellyouanydifferent,”shesaid.
TearsspilledoverontomycheeksatherassessmentofRaife.Ipulledmyhandawayfromthedoorandwalkedbackovertothebed.
“Iknowhowamanlooksatawomanwhenhe’sinlove.Thatmanlovesyou,”shesaidwithevenmoreseriousnesstohervoice.
IthoughtIhadbeendoingagoodjobofkeepingmyheartbreakoverRaifesilent,butIguessednot.
Mystomachtiedinknots.Iwantedittobetruewitheveryfiberofmybeing.“Evenifthatweretrue,he’semotionallyunavailable,”Isaid.
Myauntpeeredupatmefromherplacenestledinthebed.“Maybeyou’vemadeittooeasyforhim.”
Ifrowned.“Whatdoyoumean?”
Myauntshruggedinnocently.“Ifit’safakemarriage,thenyoushouldbothbeabletotakeasecretloverwithnoissue,right?”
Mymouthpoppedopeninshock—butthenclosed,openedagain,andthenclosed.Ididn’twanttotakealoverandIbelievedsheknewthat.WasshesayingthatIshouldpretendtotakeonetomakehimjealous?Thatjustseemedcruel.
“Sometimesmenneedtobeafraidoflosingsomethingtorealizetheywantit,”shesaidfinally,andthenclosedhereyesasifthatwasthat.
Herwordshadthrownmyentirebeingintoafrenzy.Butshewasright.Iwasbeingtoosoftwithhim,availablewhenhewanted,shuttingdownwhenhewanted.
Screwthat!
Itwastimetoshitorgetoffthepot,astheylikedtosayinNightfall.IfRaifedidn’twantasexualrelationshipwithme,thenweshouldtakelovers.Didwereallybothexpecttobecelibateforthenextfiveyears?
IlefttheinfirmarywiththetwoguardsthatRaifehadassignedtomeandmadeitbacktothepalaceinrecordtime.ItwaswellpastdinnersoIdidn’texpecttoseehiminthediningroom,andwaspleasedwhenIfoundhimstandingbythebookshelfinourroom,selectingabooktoread.
WhenIwalkedin,heturned.“Hey,how’syourau—?”
Ipushedhimagainstthebookshelfandclaimedhismouthinafierykiss.Itwasangry,andforcefuland…hot.Itlitthecoreofmybeingonfire.ButIneededtoremainincontrolhere.Ihadaplan.Hegrowledthesecondmylipshithisandpartedthem,strokinghistongueagainstmine.Whenhedid,IsuckedhistongueandcausedhimtomoansoloudIwassuretheguardsatthedoorheardit.WhenIhadhimrightwhereIwantedhim,Ipulledbackandmethishoodedsteelygaze.
“Raife,I’mawoman,”Ibreathedagainsthismouth,“Ihaveneeds,andIunderstandifyoucan’torwon’tmeetthem,buttheyneedtobemet.”Ipulledawaythen,takingtwofullstepsback.“Thisisallfakeanyway,right?”
Therewasafireinhiseyes,buthestayedsilent.
“YouclearlyhavehadanarrangementinthepastwiththatwomenDaraIsawvisityourbedroom.Iwillmakethesametypeofarrangement.Wecanliveoutthenextfiveyearsofthisfakemarriage,atleastnotbeingtotallymiserableandsexuallyfrustrated.”
Heswallowedhard,hischestheaving.
IhadzerointentionoftakingaloverbutIwantedtotestwhetherornotweweretrulyjustfriends.WasIcrazy?Werethefeelingsofloveandadorationcomingfromhimforme?Ijustdidn’tknowanymore.
“You’reunhappy,”hesaid,withmoresadnessinhisvoicethanIanticipated.
“I’munsatisfied,”Icorrected,andsteppedclosertohim.
Anotherhardswallow.
“It’suptoyouhowyouwanttoplaythis,Raife.”Ikissedhischeek.“Goodnight.HaveasafetriptoEmbergate,”Iwhisperedinhisear,andthenbrushedpasthim,walkingintothewashroomwithmyheartbeatingonthefloorathisfeet.
ThatwasbyfarthebravestthingI’deverdone.Icouldn’tstopthefranticbeatingofmyheartthroughoutmyentirebath.SowhenIfinallyhadthegutstoleavethewashroom,Iprayedhewasinourbed,readytoacceptwhatthisreallywas.Readytomakemeandmyauntnotcrazy.Readytoloveme.
ButwhenIsawthelightswereoffandthebedwasmade,mystomachdropped.OnthecouchwasRaife’sslow-breathingform.
Ibaredmysoultohimandhefellasleep.
Ifthatwasn’tthemostdepressingthingintheworld,Ididn’tknowwhatwas.
ItwasalongtimebeforeIdriftedoff.
***
ThenextmorningIwokeupandpeeredacrosstheroomatthecouch.Thesheetswerefoldedandstackedattheendofthecushionwiththepillowontop.DidheleaveforEmbergatewithoutsayinggoodbye?
ItwasthenthatInoticedthenotenexttomypillow,onhissideofthebed,andmystomachtightened.
Lani,
YouareoneofthemostbeautifulwomenIhaveevermet.You’reincrediblykindandyoumightevenbesmarterthanme.
Istoppedreadingforamomentandpressedthelettertomychest,grinningupattheceiling.Itwasaloveletter.Aloveletterbeforeheleft.Iwouldcherishitalways.Ipulledtheparchmentfrommychestandreadthenextline,myheartplummetingintomystomach.
ButIcan’tgiveyouthelifeyouwant,thelifeyoudeserve.Iwon’tlie,Idocareaboutyou,Iamdeeplyattractedtoyou,butItoldyouwhenwestartedthisnottofallinlovewithme.I’mdeadinsideandIcan’tloveyouback.It’sjustanotherthingZaphiratookfromme.I’mparalyzed,afraidtocareforanyonetoodeeplyinthefearthatIwillhavetowatchthemdie.Somepeoplehavescarsontheoutside,mineareontheinside.Theyareinvisible,sotheyareeasyforotherstoforget.Soyouwillhavetosettleforadeepandrespectfulfriendshipwithme
Thetearsfellontotheparchmentandmyvisionblurred,makingitimpossibletoreadfurther.Abody-numbinggriefspreadthroughmyentirebeingasIrealizedIhadtrulyandfullyfalleninlovewithhim.NowIhadtolethimgo.Iblinkedrapidlyandreadthelastbitoftheletter.
Ijustwantyoutobehappy.Yourmerepresencemakesmehappy,andrulingbesideyouthesenextfiveyearswillbemyabsolutepleasure.Thankyoufordoingthisforme,forgettingthecounciltoapprovemywarsoIcangettherevengemyfamilydeservesandhealthatpartofmysoulthatfeelslikeitbleedseveryday.
Iheardyoulastnight.ItkilledmebutIheardyou.Ifyouwanttotakealovertosatisfyyourneeds…
Okay.
-Raife
Thesobsthatrippedfrommythroatsoundedanimalistic.Rawagonytorethroughmychest,andIwasafraidtolookdownforfearthatmyheartmightactuallybelyingonthebedinabloodymangledmess.Asawfulastheletterwas,itwaseverythingIneededtohear.IwantedthetruthandIgotit.Hecalledmebeautiful,sweet,andsmart.Headmittedhecaredandwassexuallyattractedtome.Hepraisedourfriendshipandtoldmetodowhatittooktobehappy.Itwasasweetandrespectfulletteranditkilledme.WhatZaphiradidtohimkilledme.Sherobbedhimoftruelove.Shetookfromhimanormallifeandscarreduphisinsidessothathewouldn’tevenallowhimselftolove.IhatedherforitandIwantedherdead.
Istartedtothinkupwildassassinationplotsthen.Poisonwasimpossiblebecauseshekeptherfoodsowellguardedandhadhalfadozentasters.Sheoncedidn’teatforfourdayswhenshesuspectedthedragonkingmighthavesentpoisoninretaliationforkillinghisbetrothed.Instead,hekilledherfavoriteson
Iwasfumingmad,tearingacrosstheroomtogetreadyforthedaywiththegrumpiest,mostheartbrokenfeelingsslammingaroundmybody.IhopedRaifewasn’tstillhere.IfIsawhim,Iwouldburstintotearsandthenhughim.Icouldn’tbemadathim;hespokehistruthandIacceptedthat.Iacceptedbeinghisfriend.AndIwouldn’ttakealover.Ineverwantedoneinthefirstplace.Iwantedhim.
BythetimeIdressedandcoveredmyredpuffyeyes,itwaslatemorning.ThedininghallwasemptybutforMrs.Tirthwaitingwithmyfood.
“Sorry.Isleptin,”Itoldher,andmygazeflickedtoRaife’semptychair.
Shelookedatmecompassionately.“Heleftbeforethesunevencameup.Beengoneforseveralhours.”
Inodded,unabletohelpthetearsthatlinedmyeyes.Mrs.TirthpretendednottonoticewhenIblinkedthemaway,andsetmyfoodinfrontofme.“Thankyou,”Imurmured.
Shedippedherchin.“Thekingrequestedthatyousitinonhismeetingsforhimwhileheisawayandtakenotes.Hereisyourschedulefortheday.”ShehandedmeaparchmentandIrelaxedalittle.Iwasabusybody,needingsomethingtokeepmymindactive,andrightnowIwassoheartbrokenthatthiswasexactlywhatIneededtotakemythoughtsoffofthings.
Iglancedattheparchment,mentallypreparing.
Farmingmeeting.
WinterBallplanning.
BowMenmeeting.
Councilmeeting.
Infirmaryrounds.
Allinall,itwasalightday.
Withthat,Ifinishedmybreakfastquicklyandsteppedintomyfarmers’meeting.
“Hello,gentlemen.”Ismiled.
Theyallgreetedme,andIsettledintomyday,onlythinkingaboutRaifeeveryminuteorso.WasheinEmbergateyet?DidDraesayyes?WouldtheygorighttoThorngate,orcomebackhereforafewdays?
IbrokeforlunchaftertheWinterBallplanningmeeting,andthensteppedrightintotheBowMenmeeting.Raife’stopsixcommanderswerethere.InoddedtoCahal,Ares,andafewoftheothersIknewwell.
“Hey,guys,I’mtakingnotesforRaifesoIcanfillhiminwhenhegetsback.”
Cahalnodded.“Alright,let’sgetstarted.Weleftofflastweektalkingaboutpreparingforthebigwarwiththequeen.HisHighnesswantedathousandarrowheadsforgedpermonth,butwe’vehadashortageinmetals.”
Iscrawleddownthenotes.“Canwemeltdownimpracticalitemslikesculpturesandusethatmetal?”
Cahalinclinedhishead.“Thatwasgoingtobemysuggestion,butitwillhavetobebyroyaldecree,andthenwe’llhavetocompensate—”
ThedoorflungopenandHaigburstinsidewithamessengerwhowaspanting,dirtcakedinhishairlikehe’dfallenoffahorse.
“QueenZaphirarideswithherarmytotheeastwall,”Haigsaidinalarm.
Chillsroseuponmyarms,andIknewthatRaifewouldneverforgivemeforurginghimtoleave.Becauseintheworstpossibletime,thequeenofNightfallwasattacking.Hadshebeenwatching?Waitinguntilheleft?
Themessengerhadfinallycaughthisbreath.“Overfivehundredmenmarchthisway.Halfonhorseback,somerideonfastmachines,likehorselesscarriages.Thequeenleadsthem.”
MyhearthammeredinmychestaseverysinglecommanderstoodandlookedfromHaigtome.
Haigsteppedintotheroomandsatbesideme,leaningintolowerhisvoice.“Elvinlawstatesthatyouareinchargeintheabsenceofyourhusband.Youmustcallanemergencywarmeetingwiththecouncil.”
HolyHades.Wasthisseriouslyhappening?
“I’dliketocallanemergencywarmeetingwiththecouncil.BowMen,readythetroopsforbattle,”Itoldthem.
Theysalutedmeandleft.Haigranoutaswell,presumablytogettheothercouncilmen,andIsatthereinabsoluteshock.
WhattheHadeswasIgoingtodo?Leadawaronourborder?How?Thiswastoomuch.Icouldn’tthink.
ItwasinthatmomentthatalineinTheNatureofWarcametome.
Intimesofwar,stayingcalmisoneofthemostimportantthingsyoucando.Otherswilllooktoyoutolead,andthelessnervousyouare,themorefaiththeywillhaveinyourability.
Iinhaleddeeplythroughmynoseandshookoutmylimbs,rollingmyneck.
Igotthis.JustalittleskirmishattheeastborderwiththewitchIwasjustplottingtokill.IfthiswentmywayImightevenbeabletoputheroutofhermiseryandRaifewouldn’tneedtoassemblealloftheseotherkings.
ThefourcouncilmenburstintotheroomthenandAronlookedrightatme.“ZaphirawasclearlyspyingonKingRaifeandsawthatheleft.She’schoosingnowtoattackbecausesheknowsweareweakwithoutourking,”Aronsaid.
“Nowe’renot,”Isaidcalmly.“Raifeisanamazingleaderandhealer,butasinglepersonbeinggonedoesnotweakenanentirerealm.”
Haigstaredatme,impressed,butFoxworthshookhishead.“Wecan’tlethergetdeepintotheborders.Herarmyislargerandcanconquertheentirerealmbeforethekingevengetsback.He’llcomebacktoburningfields,deadmen,andenslavedwomen.”
Hiswordsweresobering.Ithoughtbetteronmyfeet,soIstood.
Staycalm,Itoldmyself,takinginadeepbreathasthecouncilrolledoutaparchmentmaponthetable.IknewNightfallanditspeoplebetterthananyonehere.Ididn’texactlyknowthequeen’sbattleplansoranything,butplentyofmyfriendshaddatedmeninherarmysinceeverymaleabovetheageofsixteenwasforcedtojointhereserves.Iknewthattheywereheavilydependentontheirmachines.
ThecouncilwasarguingaboutevacuatingthehighbornsintoThorngateandbeggingthefaekingforhelpwhenIclearedmythroatandsteppeduptothemap.
“Bringthepeoplefromtheseouterfieldsintothesafetyofthepalacewalls.”Ipointedtotheareaonthemapwiththehighestpopulationofourfarmers.Theirknowledgeofgrowingfoodwasinvaluable.Wecouldaffordtolosesomecropsbutnotthefarmersthemselves.“ThenwesetbeartrapsattheperimeteroftheEastwalltocapturetheirhorses.Andwefloodthefieldwithasmuchwineandliquoraswecanfind.”
Themenfrowned,staringatmeperplexed.“Liquor?”
Inodded.“Thequeen’smachinesareallelectricandelectricityandfiredon’tmix.”
“Fire?You’regoingto…”Haigsuddenlylookedimpressed.
Icouldseetheapprovalintheireyesastheyglancedateachother.
“AreyousayingwestayandfightthequeenofNightfall?”Haigaskedmehonestly.
Idippedmychin.“Areyoureallysuggestingweabandonanentirerealmoverthefearofonewoman?Wecandothis.”
“Onewomanwithfivehundredmen!”Foxworthbarked.“IthinkweshouldtakethehighbornfamiliesandelitehealersintoThorngateforsafety.”
Nowthatpissedmeoff.“Fine!Goandbeacowardwiththerichhighborns.I’llstaywiththeBowMenandthelowlyfarmersandfightforourhome!”Isnarled,pushingthetableoverandburstingfromtheroom.
I’dneverbeensomadinmyentirelife.IknewthatI’dprobablyjustbrokenalaworsomething.Ibelievedthereneededtobeavote,butIdidn’tcare.Iwasn’trunningtothehillswiththerichwhilethequeenburntRaife’shome,ourhome,tothegroundandkilledthepoor.
FootstepsfellinbehindmeandIreadiedmyselfforafight.WhenIturneditwasHaig,Aron,andGreylin.
Haigboweddeeplytome.“Myqueen,I’llbringinthefarmersandpeoplefromtheoutlyingvillages,”hesaid,andthentookoffdownthehallrunning.
Aronbowedthen.“Myqueen,Iwillgetagrouptogetherandsetthebeartraps.”Hethenleftaswell,andItriednottolettheemotionshowonmyface.
Greylinbowed,givingmeasmile.“IwillhavevillagershelpmefillbucketswithliquorandmeetyouatthestableswiththeBowMen.”
Onceheleft,Iwantedtocryforhowtheyjustrespectedme,callingmetheirqueenandbackingmyplan,buttherewasnotimeforthat.LaterIwoulddrinkanentirebottleofelfwineandcrymyselftosleep,hopingtoforgetthetraumaIwasnodoubtabouttoexperience.ButfornowIhadtogotowar.SIXTEEN
Ihadlearnedfrommyaunt’sescapethatdresseswerenotconvenienttowearwhendoingnefariousthings.IdonnedoneofRaife’sblacksuedetrousersandtheshortest,smallesttunicofhisIcouldfind,whichwasstillprettylargeonme.Iwasprettycrappywithabow,butbetterwithasword,soIstrappedthatontomywaistbeltandthenmettheBowMenliningupbythedozensoutsidethestables.
WhenIreachedCahal,hetookalonglookatmyoutfitbutsaidnothing.
“Howmanydowehaveinall?”ImotionedtotheBowMenandArchmerecitizensthatwerebeinggivenweaponsandconscriptedtofight.
“Twohundredfifty,”Cahalsaid.
Halfofwhatthequeenhad.IrememberedalinefromTheNatureofWarthenanditgavemeanidea.
Playtoyourstrengths
“TakefiftyofyourbestBowMenandhidetheminthetreesoftheNarrowValley.Wecanfunnelhermeninandtakeoutatleastahundredmenbeforetheycanretreat.”
Cahalgrinned.“Yes,myqueen.”HeturnedandstartedtogatherupmenandIswallowedhard.
TheNatureofWaralsosaid,Outofallthethingsyoudotobereadyforwar,inspiringyourarmyisthemostimportant.
I’dhavetogiveaspeech.
WiththehelpoftwoBowMen,Istoodonthebackofmyhorseandputtwofingersinmymouth,lettingoutabigwhistle.
Themurmursstopped,andeveryoneturnedtolookatme,causingthenervestoburninmystomach.
Staycalm.Inspirethem
“QueenZaphirawaiteduntilourkingwasgonebeforesheattacked!”Isnarled.“Thattellsmethatshe’safraidofhisleadership.ShethinksweareweakwithoutRaifeLightstone.Areyouweak?”Iasked.
Murmurs.
“AreyouWEAK!?”Icried.
Screamsrespondedwitharespondingno!
“Shehasnoideawhatshe’sjustwalkedinto!Noideatheshitstormweareabouttoflingherway.IwilldiebloodyonthatbattlefieldbeforeIgiveoneinchofelvinlandtothatmonster!”SpittleflewfrommymouthasIbellowedacrosstheentirefield.
Themenwentinsanethen,screamingandwavingtheirweaponsintheairwithgrimaces.
“Let’sride!”Icalled,andthenallowedtheBowMentohelpmedown.
“Shitstorm?”Cahalwasbackandgrinningatme.
Ishrugged.“It’sahumanexpression,Iguess.Let’sgobeherworstnightmare,”Itoldhim,andhespurredhishorseaswerodeofftowar.
***
Weallowedthequeentosmashthroughtheeastwall.Herarmytrampledafewoftheoutlyingfarms,includingtheonewiththeyellowbarn,butnothingwecouldn’trecoverfrom.ThemosttalentedoftheBowMenwerecurrentlyhidinginthetreesthatflankedtheNarrowValley.TheNarrowValleyledtothemostpopulatedpartofArchmereandthecastle.Ourcivilianvolunteershadsoakedthedrygrassesinalcoholatmyrequest,andnowwewaited.Partofmecouldn’tbelievethiswashappening,andtheotherpartofmewasrunningoninstinct.
Remaincalm.
Icouldfreakoutlater.Ihadawartowinandapeopletoprotect.Raife’speople—mypeopletoo.ImightbeafakequeeninRaife’seyesbutIlovedthisland,thelandofmyfather,andIwouldnotletitfalltothequeenofNightfallonmywatch.
AmessengeronhorsebackrodetowardswherewewerestationedattheendoftheNarrowValleyandIbracedmyselfforhisreport.
“Thequeen’sarmyridesthisway!”heyelled.“She’ssentsomeofherarmythroughtheNarrowValleybutmostaroundit.Shesuspectsanambush.”
Inodded.I’dpreparedforthis.Anysmartwomanwouldknowthatifyouwentthroughavalleybetweentwolargehillsfilledwithtrees,itcouldbeatrap.
“Holdtotheplan!”Iscreamedatourmenandbegantobackupmyhorse.Goingaroundthevalleymeantgoingaroundthehill,whichtookmoretimeandwasrockyandnotaneventrail.She’dstruggletogetevenahundredmenthroughthereinanygoodlengthoftime.
IrodeovertoCahal,whostoodreadyformyword.“WhenhermengetintotheNarrowValley,lightthematchandletitburn.Killanythingleftmovingwitharrows.”
Henodded.“You’regoingtotheopenhillside?”
Igrinned.“Iwanttoseeherretreatwithmyowneyes.”
Cahalgavemeacrookedsmile.“It’sanhonortoserveunderyou,myqueen.Raifechosewellwhenhemarried.”
Mythroattightenedwithemotion,moresobecausemyheartbreakwassofresh.Still,hissentimentwasgenuine,andIthankedhimbeforeridingoffbehindandaroundthehillside,dismountingmyhorsetoclimbupthesideofitwheremyteamwaswaitingwiththenets.
Civilianshadvolunteeredtofightfortheirlandindroveswhenthey’dheardIhaddeclinedFoxworth’splantoflee.
IknewtheNightfallqueenwouldsuspectatrapattheNarrowValleyandsoI’dhadtheciviliansgrabwhateverrocksandboulderstheycouldandshovethemintofishingnets.Nowwestoodcrouchedbehindbushesandmakeshiftcamouflageaswewaitedforthequeenandhermentocrossthepathatthebaseofthelargehill.FromthisvantagepointIcouldalreadyseeherarmy.I’dmadeitjustintime.Thepasttwohourshadbeenthemostrigorousandpulsepoundingofmylife.Mobilizinganarmy,preparingforwar,itwasnothingI’deverexperiencedandsoIwaspleasedthateventhoughIcouldseethebannerofNightfallwavinginthedistanceastheyneared,wehadaplan.
Thesheersightofoverfourhundredmen,dozensofmachines,trebuchets,andmenflyingintheairwithmechanicalwings,wasenoughtomaketerrorcrawldownmyspine.
AnotherlinefromTheNatureofWarcamebacktomeinthatmoment,andIthankedtheMakerI’dreadtheentirebookandcommittedittomemory,asIdidmostbooksIread.
Peoplewilldie.Asaleader,youneedtoworryaboutminimalizingthelossesandtendingtothewounded.
Peoplewilldie.
Peoplewilldie.
Ilookedaroundattheelvinmenandwomengathered,mostofwhomhadbroughttheirbowandarrowfromhomeandworemakeshiftbreastplatesmadeofcookingpans.AsobformedinmythroatandIspunsothattheywouldn’tseemebreakdown.Puttingmyfaceinmyhands,Iweptsoftly.Suddenlyhandswereonmine,rippingthemawayfrommyfaceanddryingmyeyes.MyeyelidssnappedopentoseeHaigstandingbeforeme.
Whendidhegethere?Heshouldbehidinginthecastlewiththerestofthecouncil.
“Myqueen,thepeoplelooktoyounowforstrength,”heremindedme.
Iclearedmythroat,nodding,andthenpulledhimdowntotakecoverwithmebehindthebrush.Iwipedtheremainingtearsfrommycheeksandspunandfacedthetaskahead.
“Readythenets,”Iwhisper-screamed.Thequeen’sarmywasquitefarbelowatthebaseofthehill,butstillIcouldn’tlosemyelementofsurprise.Shepassedthehill,herarchersshootingrandomlyupatitasweallcrouchedandhid,notfiringback.
Shoutsofalarmandscreamsrangoutbehindusontheothersideofthehill,withintheNarrowValley,andIknewthewartherehadbegun.They’dfunneledrightintoourtrapandourBowMenwerepickingthemoffbeforethe—
SmokefilledtheairandIwrestledwithclimbingovertheridgetolookdownandseehowthefieldburningideahadgone.Butbythesoundsofmenscreamingandmachinesexploding,Iknewwe’dwontheNarrowValleyandtheyweresurelyretreatingfromthere.Whatevermenwereleftalivethatwas.
Thequeenknewtoo.Isawherthen,leadinghermen.Sheworehercustomaryredbattleleathers;mechanicalwingshungfromherbackassherodeherblackstallion.Strappedtoherarmsweretheusualfirethrowerandboltshooter.ShewasaspowerfulasadragonshifterfromEmbergate,orasdeadlyasaBowManfromArchmere.
Inallmyplanning,Ihadn’tthoughtoftheflyingmen.Themechanicalwingswererelativelynew.I’dseenmentestingthemaroundNightfallCity,butseeingsixgrownmenflytowardswhereweallhidcrouchedonthehillsidenowhadbilerisinginmygut.
Weneededthequeenandherarmytowalkdeeperpastthehillside.Butshe’dstopped,nodoubtseeingthesmokeofherburningpeopleandhearingtheshoutsofalarm.Ifweshothermenoutoftheskyshe’dknowwewerehere.Ifshedoubledbackforhermenandthentheyallcameatus,myboulderideawasgoneandweweredead.
Pressforward.You’renotafraidofanythingandyouwouldn’thavesentthosemenintothevalleyifyouhadn’talreadypreparedtolosethem.
Thegroundtheywalkedonwasrockybutforasandyflatpaththathuggedthebaseofthehillside.Iwatchedasindecisionwarredinhergaze.Shelookeduptoherflyerswhowerenowtenfeetfromus.Nooneonthehillsidemoved.Wewerecoveredinleaves,bushes,mosssheets,andanythingbrownorgreenwecouldfind.Ihadaperfectviewofthequeen’sfacefrombetweenthecroppingofthickbushesIsquattedbehind.Isawthemomentshesealedherfate.Acockylookofsuperioritywashedoverherfaceandhernostrilsflared.Thescentofburningflesh,ofhermendying,filledtheair,andthenshegrimaced.
“Attack!”shescreamed.
Theychargedforward,funnelingthreebythreedownthenarrowsandywalkwayinanattempttopassthehillandattackmyarmyfrombehindastheywaitedintheNarrowValley.Theflyers,distractedwiththeirqueen’sorders,veeredawayfromthehillandspedtowardsthebackoftheNarrowValley,whereourentirearmylayinwait.
Makerbewithme.
Oncethequeenhadgottenasfarasmylastnet,IstoodandscreamedlouderthanIeverthoughtpossible.“Now!”Thebellowrippedfrommythroat,myvoicecrackingattheend.
Ourcivilianarmyburstintoaction,lettinggoofthetaut,boulder-fillednetsthey’dbeenholdingthisentiretime.Atthesametime,ourBowMeneruptedfrombushesandshotatherflyersandanyofherarchersontheground.
Giantrocksandboulderstumbleddownthehillsideandslammedintoherarmy.Theyknockedmenoffmounts,theycrushedmachines,theyspookedhorses,whichranoffwildlywithoutanydirection,buckingtheirriders.
“Reload!”Iyelledbutitwasn’tnecessary,thepeoplewerealreadytransferringthesecondstackofbackupbouldersbehindthemintothenetsandthenreleasingthem.Thereweren’tasmanybutitwasenoughtocausesomuchchaosthatthequeenhadlostcontrolofherarmy.Theyscatteredlikeapileoffrightenedants.
Thequeen.
Iscannedthegroundbutcouldnolongerseeher.AnexplosionsuddenlyrockedthehillsideandthenIwasthrownbackwards,myheadcrackingthehardgroundandmyteethsnappingtogether.
Fire.Screaming.
Staycalm.Ibreathed.
She’dbombedus.Oneoftheirtrebuchetsmusthavebeensetupinadvanceasifsheexpectedanattack.Irosetomyfeetandashadowblanketedmefromoverhead.Ilookedupjustasthequeenaimedherboltshooteratme.
EverythinghappenedsofastthenIcouldbarelycomprehendit.Sheflickedherwristrightatmeandaboltleftitsthrower.ThenablurmovedinfrontofmeasHaigthrewhimselfinthepathoftheshot.
“No!”Iscreamed.Theboltwasfiredwithsuchforceitwenthalfwaythroughhischest,knockinghimbackwardsintomebeforehehitthegroundatmyfeet.
SomethingwildsnappedwithinmychestandIburstfromtheground,leapingoverhimandintotheair.IgraspedtheankleoftheNightfallqueenanddangledfromherlegforasecondbeforeshelostbalance.Sheflappedhermetalwingswildlyasshetriedtostayaloft,buttheyweren’tmadetocarrytheweightoftwopeople.
Withagruntshefellfromtheskylikeadownedbird,hittingbuttfirstandthenherback.Iwastednotimecrawlingontopofher,unbridledrageroilingthroughme.
Ididn’tknowwhatIwasdoing.Drivenbypureinstinct,Igrabbedhercheeksandthenhoveredmymouthinchesfromhers.Hereyeswentwideandshefrozeforasecond,nodoubtthinkingIwasgoingtokissher.
ThenIinhaled.Mymagicignited,andinsteadofbreathinglifeintothedying,Itookfromtheliving.Isuckedherlifeforcerightfromhermouth.Shockedtoseethewhitemistflowingfromheropenlipsandintomylungs,Iwassimultaneouslyfreakedoutandfascinatedbythediscoveryofthisnewgift.Iwatchedinaweasachunkofherhairturnedwhiteinthefront.
I’mkillingher,Ithoughtforawildsecond,thensomethingpiercedmyshoulderbladeandagonyrippedthroughmyarm,causingmetolosemyholdonthequeen.Sheusedthedistractiontoramakneeintomycrotchandshovemeoffofher.
Ilayonmyback,arrowsflyingeverywhichway,andwatchedinwonderasshetooktotheskiesagain.HerwingsglintedinthedyingsunlightasIgrappledwithwhatI’djustdone.WhatIcoulddo.
MaybeIwasn’tblessed,maybeIwasalsocursed.Thisgiftseemedtobeabletogobothways.
“Retreat!”theNightfallqueenbellowedintothesky,andNightfall’sdeephornsblewthroughoutthevalley.
Reliefcrashedthroughmeatthatsound,andIwonderedifI’dweakenedher.Shewasflyingwobbly,hervoicehoarse.HadItakensomeofhervitality?Weakenedherlife?
Ipulledmyponytailinfrontofmeandinspectedthedarkerbrownchunk.Wastheremoreofitthanbefore?Hadthequeenjustgivenmemorelife?
ThepaininmyshoulderbroughtmebackintothemomentandIlookeddownatmywound,andthearrowstickingoutofit,anditwasinthatmomentthatIrememberedHaig.
Scramblingtogetup,Icrawledovertotheoldman.Hewaslyingonhisback,bleedingheavilyfromthestomachashealerstriedinvaintosavehim.Thiswasbeyondasimplehealer.MaybeifRaifewashere,but…
“Stepback,”Icommanded.Ididn’tknowhowmanybreathsIhadleft.Definitelyone.Maybetwo.Maybethreeiftakingfromthequeenaddedtomylifeforce—Ididn’tknowhowitworked.WhenIhoveredoverHaig,openingmylips,hishandclampedoverthem,grippingmyfaceforcefullyandkeepingmefrombreathingoverhim.
“I’manoldman.I’vehadagoodlife,”hesaidweakly.“AnddyingwhilewatchingtheNightfallqueenretreatisadeathwellearned.Don’ttakethatfrommeanddon’twasteyourpreciousgiftonme,child.”
Mytearsspilledoutofmyeyesandoverhisfingers.Iwantedtothankhimforsavingmylife,buthisfingerswerestillpositionedhardovermymouthlikeasteeltrap.Asifreadingmymind,hestaredatme.“Tradingmylifeforyourswasanhonor…myqueen.”
Thetearsflowedfasternow.Hesuckedinonelargefinalbreathbeforehiseyeswentglassyandhischestmovednomore.Hishandfellawayfrommymouthandfloppedtotheground.Ittookeveryounceofself-controlIhadnottotrytosavehim.Iwantedtohonorhiswish.Amanshouldbeabletochoosehowhedies.
“Myqueen!”CahalscreamedandIstood,wipingmyeyes.I’dfalltopieceslater;mypeoplestillneededme.
MyshoulderstunglikeHades,butIfollowedhisvoiceandfoundCahalclimbingtothetopofthehillside.
“Wehavemanywounded,andthevalleyisstillonfire,butthetroopshaveretreated,”hesaid,slightlyoutofbreath.
Inodded,turningtotheroyalguardthatstoodbehindhim.“Healthewounded!Putoutthefires!Sendscoutstomakesuretheentirearmyleaves,”Iyelledandtheyscrambled.ThenIturnedtothecivilians.“Gatherourdeadforburial.BurntheNightfallsoldiers.”Theytooscurriedofftodomybidding.
Cahalhadn’tmoved.Hewasstaringatmyshoulder.“Myqueen,youneedahealer.”
“No.I’mfine.Iwillbehealedafterthelastmanis,”Istated.
TheNatureofWarhadaverypoignantlinethathadstuckwithme.Onthedayofthebattle,bethelasttoeat,thelasttorejoice,andthelasttobehealedifyoucanhelpit.Thiswillearnyouarespectamongyourarmythatyoucannotbuywithjewelsandcoins.
Iwantedthesemen’srespect.Iwantedtheirforgiveness.Iledthemintoabattlewheresomeofthemhaddied.Fathers,sons,brothers.Ididn’tdothatlightly,andalthoughwe’dwon,thelosseswouldforeverstainthisdayinourmemories.Iwantedtohonorthat.Thewoundwasn’tbad.Icouldmovemyfingers,sothetendonswereintact,andthebleedingseemedpluggedwiththearrowsoIknewnoarterywashit.Thepainwasmanageable.
Cahalputafistoverhischestandbowedbeforeleaving.
Ifollowedhim,slowlyhikingmywayupthehilltopeekovertheotherside.WhenIsawthecarnageItookinasharpintakeofbreath,andthencoughedasthesmokeenteredmylungs.TheentirevalleywasfilledwithdeadNightfallsoldiers.They’dbeenburned,andthegroundwasblackwithsoot.Farmersandsoldierscarriedbucketsofwatertoputoutthefireattheedgesthatthreatenedthetrees.
Thehealingtentswe’derectedaheadoftimewerefilled,andtherewasasmallpileofelvinbodiestobetakenforburial.
Itriednottocount,butIcouldn’thelpit.
Twelve.TwelvemendiedbecauseofdecisionsImade.IfRaifewereincharge,wouldithavebeenless?Wouldithavebeenzero?Wouldheeverforgivemeforgoingtowarwithhisarmyandkillingtwelvemen?
AsImademywaydownthevalleytocheckonthehealingtentandseeifanyoneneededhelp,thefirstpersonstartedtoclap.Thenanother.ChillsroseonmyarmswhenIrealizedtheywereclappingformeasIpassedthem.ItwasasignthateventhoughIsawthetwelvedeadbodiesasafailure,theywerepleasedwithhoweverythingwentandtheysawthisasawin.
IwavedtothemasIpassedbutcouldn’tbringmyselftosmile.
Wardidn’tdeserveasmile,evenwhenyouwon,becausenoonereallywinsinwarwhenevenonepersondies.SEVENTEEN
Ittookfivehoursforthehealerstotreatallthewoundedandthenme.Luckily,everyelfhadsomehealingability,sothewomenandevenyoungchildrencameouttohelptendtothewounded.Myarrowwoundsealedrightupandleftatenderpinkpuckermark.Itoldmyhealernottofullytaketheevidenceoftheinjury,toallowittoscarsothatIcouldrememberthisdaythatI’dfoundthestrengthtobeatruequeen,notjustafakeone.
InthemiddleofthenightIsatinthemeetingroomwithwhatwasleftofthecouncil,AronandGreylin.Foxworthhadfled,andHaigwasgone.
“I’msorryaboutyourfather,”IsaidforthetenthtimetoAron.
Aronlookedsadbutwasholdingittogetherwell.Henodded.“Theoldmanalwayswantedaworthydeathinbattle.Hewasn’treallymadeforbeingstuckinaroomalldayandhavingmeetings.”
Iinclinedmyhead.“ThelatestmessengerreportedthatZaphiraandhermenarefullygoneandourpeoplearealreadyrepairingthewall,workinginshifts.”
Greylinrubbedhisface.“I’mexhausted,butnotsureIcansleep.”
Iknewwhathemeant.Whatifthequeencamebackwithanarmythreetimesthesize?Whatifshewasn’tdone?
ThedoorburstopenthenandIjumpedalittleatthesightofRaife.Helookedtotallycleanandnotinjured,whichIwasgratefulfor,buthiseyeswerewide,chestheavingandheappeared…livid.
“Youledmyarmyontothebattlefield?”hegrowled.
Ofcoursehewouldhaveseenitcomingin—theburntearth,thepilesofbodies.He’dprobablyalreadyspokentoCahalandgottenafullrundown.
Iswallowedhard,tryingnottothinkoftheletterhe’dleftme.
AronstoodandlookedRaifeintheeye.“Mylord.Shedidourkingdomproud,shedidyourcrownproud.Thepeoplearesafeand—”
“IneedtospeakwithLaniprivately.Getout!”Raifescreamedatthecouncil.
Greylinscowledathim.“Youhavenoreasontobeupsetwithher.ShedroveofftheNightfallqueenwhenotherswantedtoflee!”
“Get.Out!”Raifesaidthroughgrittedteeth.
Theyleft,castingmeworriedglances,butIwavedthemoff.Iwascoveredindirt,blood,andsoot.IstillworeRaife’stunic,whichhadbeencutofftheshoulderandtiedundermyarmpittoexposemyhealingwound.IfRaifewantedtopunishme,Iwouldtakeit.Istood,andfacedhimwithmychinheldhigh,readyforhiswrath.
DidheknowHaigwasdead?ItriednottothinkaboutRaife’snote.Makingthisasprofessionalofaconversationaspossiblewouldbebest.
Raifeturnedonmethen,eyesrakingovereveryinchofme,andIcouldalmostfeeltheircaress.“Youwentonthebattlefield?Youledawar?”Hesoundedlikehewasinpain.IwassoconfusedIcouldn’tprocessit.
Isimplynodded.
Hereachedupandgrabbedthesidesofhisjawinagony.“Youcouldhavedied.Ican’tdothisanymore.”
Mystomachdropped.“Dowhat?”
“Friends.Ihatebeingyourfriend.Screwfriends,”hedeclared.
Icouldn’tbreathe.Itwasasifhisoutburstabsorbedalloftheoxygenintheroom.
Mymouthpoppedopeninshock.Iwasn’tsureifIshouldbehurtor…somethingelse.
Hishandsfellawayfromhisfaceandhesteppedtowardsme,eatingupthespacebetweenus.“Ican’tgoonesecondlongerpretendingI’mnotdesperatelyinlovewithyou,Kailani.Pretendingthismarriageisfake.It’snotfake,andIcan’tfightitanymore.I’mtootiredandIcareforyoutoomuch.”Heleanedhisforeheadagainstmine.“Youconsumeme,”hesaid,andIgaspedashislipsfellonmine.
Itwaslikethedarkholehe’dburrowedintomyheartwithallofhisrejectionandpushingawaywassuddenlyfilledupwithlight.IfeltlikeIwasbuzzing,floating;mybodycouldn’tprocesstheelatedfeelings,andIcouldn’ttelliftheywerecomingfromhimorme.Itwasfromusboth,Irealized,aheadymixtureofloveanddesire.
Hepulledbackthen,lookingatmewithavulnerability.“Ifyoustillwantme.”
AsmilepulledatmylipsandIcuppedhisjawinmyhands.“Raife,I’vespenteverydaysinceImetyouwantingyou.”
Hislipswerebackonminethen,ashisfingersslippedupthebacksideofmytunicandIfumbledwiththebeltofhistrousers.
Ineededhim,neededtomakelovetohimtosolidifythatIwasinfactnothisdamnfriend.
Butfirsthehadtoknowsomething.Ipulledawayfromhimandhefroze,lookingintomyeyeswithuncertaintyastowhyIstopped.
“Raife,Haigdied,peopledied—”Myvoicecrackedandhenodded,strokingmycheek.
“It’sokay.AllthatmattersisthatyouarealiveandtheNightfallqueenfled,andthepeoplearechantingyournameinthestreets,mylove.”
HisacceptanceofthelossofhispeoplewasexactlywhatIneededtoheal.InthatmomentmyguiltfledandIletmytrousersandtunicfalltothefloor.
Hisgazerakedovermynakedskin,eyesgoinghalflidded.“Iheardyouhadsomeneedsthatrequiredsatisfaction?”
Itippedmyheadbackandlaughedandhismouthlandedonmythroat,suckingtheskinthereandcausingmetomoan.
Raifepulledbackandlookedmeintheeyes.“Yourauntwasright.Familymakesaplaceahome,andyou’remyfamilynow,Kailani.Forever.”
AsingletearslippedfrommyeyeandRaifeswoopeddowntokissit.
BeingRaife’sfamily,afterknowinghowmuchhelostallthoseyearsago,wasabiggerhonorthanjustbeinghiswifeandqueen.Iwantedtobehiseverything,andnowIwas.EIGHTEEN
Raife
WhenKailanitoldmeshewasunsatisfiedandwantedtotakealover,Inearlybentheroverthecouchandclaimedherrightthere.ThatwomanhadownedmyheartsincethedayIlaideyesonherintheslavetraderroom.
ThenightIlearnedIwasfallinginlovewithKailani,shewasplasteredonelfwine,soIcouldn’ttellher.Mostmenwouldbethrilledtobefallinginlovewiththeirbetrothed,butthishorrifiedme.I’dbarelysurvivedlosingmyfamily.Ithoughtaboutendingmylifeconstantlyforthefirstthreeyears.ToloveanotherthattheNightfallqueencouldkill,wouldbreakme.
ThenightIkissedherwhileshewasdrunkonelfwine,Ibarelyslept.IwaswrackedwithnightmaresofKailaniwrithingonthefloorandfoamingatthemouth.Soinsteadoflovingher,Ipushedheraway,IfoughttheinsaneattractionIhadtoher,Iprotectedherbuthurtherwithmyrejection.SomethingIhopedshewouldforgivemeforoneday.
“Goodmorning,mylove.”Kailanirolledoverinbedandkissedmyneck.Itwasthesecondnightwe’dsharedabedtogetherandtheanxietythatIhadexpectedtocomewithfullylettingmyguarddownwithher,withfullylovingLani,nevercame.InsteadIjustfelthealed,feltwhole.Shewasthemissingpuzzlepieceallalong.ThepersonIcouldleanonandstartafamilywith.
“Iheardthereisaliquorshortagebecauseofyou.”Ikissedhernoseandshelaughed,strokingmychest.
Maker,Ilovedthatlaugh.
Didshehaveanyideahowintelligentshewas?FunnelingthequeenintotheNarrowValleythatshe’dsoakedwithliquorandburningit,wasgenius.Iwasmarriedtoagenius.
Mymindwanderedthen.Aweek.Draewouldn’tmeetmeforaweek.Thatwasalongtimeafterjusthavingthequeenattackmypeople.DidIhaveaweek?Wouldshebeback?
“What’swrong?”Laniasked.
Ibothhatedandlovedthatshehadmymother’sgiftofbeingempathic.Itremindedmeofmymother,whichIloved,butIhatedthatIcouldkeepnothingfromher.Ididn’twanttoworryherunnecessarily.“Nothing.JustthatDraesaidhewouldn’tbeabletomeetmeforaweek.Hiswifehadtwins.”
Lanismiled.“That’swonderfulforthem…butaweekisalongtime.Especiallyafter—”
Therewasaknockatthedoor.
Istood,throwingmytunicandtrouserson,andopenedit.
Mrs.Tirthwastherelookingflustered.“Thedragonkingisoutsidewithhismen.”
Myeyesnearlyfelloutofmyhead.Hismen?“What?”
Mrs.Tirthnodded.“HesaidyouwouldbegoingtoThorngate,andIshouldpackyourbag.”
Thatbastardwasbossingmyleadhousemaidaround?Icouldn’thelpbutgrin.He’dcomeearly.
IlookedbackatLani,whorushedforwardandplantedakissonmylips.“Go.I’vegoteverythingtakencareofhere.”
Shedid.Iknewthatnow,andasmuchasIdidn’twanttoleaveherafterjustprofessingmytruefeelings,Icouldn’tkeepDraewaiting.Wehadtotakeoutthequeenbeforeshegottoopowerful.
Iranoutside,tothefrontofmypalacetoseeDraeValdrenandwhatlookedlikenearlyhalfofhisarmy.TheDraykenmadeupthefirstthreerowsofmenandstoodtallwiththeirblackdragonscalearmor.TheyheldbannersbearingtheEmbergatelogo,andIwashonestlyinshockatthesight.
“Speechless?”Draeapproachedmewithasmile.“Ididn’tthinkthatwaspossible.”
Igrinned.“Youcameearly,andyoubroughtfriends.”
Drae’ssmilebroadened“Iheardthatbitchattackedwhileyouwereaway.WemarchedrightthroughtheNarrowStraitonourwayhere.Iwanthertoknowwehaveyourback.Thatwe’reamassingagainsther.IfiguremymencanremaininArchmerewhilewegetLucienandAxil.Ihearthere’sgoodhuntinghere.”
Hewasadamngoodfriend.Hemighthavedesertedmebeforewhenmyparentsdiedbuthewasjustaboythen.Nowhewasaman,andagoodking,andhemorethanmadeupforitinthismoment.
“You’rewelcometohuntwhereveryouplease,”Itoldhim.“Howarethegirls?”
Draechuckled.“ItoldArwentorestbutshe’sprobablyalreadygotthebabiesstrappedtoherchestwhileshepracticesherknifethrowing.”
Itippedmyheadbackandlaughed.Lookedlikehe’dmarriedtheperfectwomanforhim.“Soundslikeyou’veleftyourkingdomingoodhands.”
Henodded.“ShallwegoandseeLucien?”
Myexpressionbecamestonythen.Luciennearlykilledmelasttime.I’dtriedtoplayitoffforKailani’sbenefit,butI’dseenitinhiseyes—hewouldhavedoneithadshenotbeenthere.
“He’snotthesamefriendweremember.Lifehashardenedhim.”Ididn’tknowifitwasjustwhatI’ddone,sleepingwithhislove,orsomethingelse,buthe’dgonedark.Alltracesofthelaughingjokesterweregone.
Draeinclinedhishead.“Thenwewillhavetoremindhimofwhoheis.”
Withthat,myoldestfriendintheworldpulledoutametalbox,rustedatthecornersandcakedindirt.
Mymouthdroppedopenatthesightofit.I’dtotallyforgottenaboutit.“Youdugitup!”Iscoldedhim.Itwassomethingallfourofusweresupposedtodotogetherwhenweallbecamekings.Ididn’tevenrememberwhatI’dputinside.Iwaseightyearsoldatthetime.
Draeshrugged.“We’reallkingsnow,andnoneofustalktoeachotheranymore,soIthoughtI’dtakeinitiative.”
Iwasactuallyexcitedtoopenit.Irememberedthatnightvaguely.We’dallbeenroastingsweetpotatoesbythefireatoneofourannualretreats,andthememoryboxhadbeenLucien’sidea.Hesaidweshouldburysomethingtoremindusofwhowewereashappychildrenbecauseonedaywewouldbecomeangryoldkingslikeourfathers.
Takingthisalongwasagoodidea.TheboxmightjustbringLucienbackfromwhateverdarkplacehe’dgoneto.IfIhadputhimthere,I’dneverforgivemyself.
Iguessit’stimetofindout.
TheEnd
BookThreewillfollowLucienThorneandhisarrangedmarriagetothePrincessoftheFallcourt.
Preordernow.FOLLOWME
Amazon:
Ihaveover50fantasybooksforyoutoenjoy!Checkthemouthereonamazon
WolfPack:
PleasejoinmyWolfPackonFacebookasIoftenrevealcoversandsecretbookishthingsinthereaswellasdoinggiveaways.
Newsletter:
AlsosignupformyNewslettersoyoudon’tmissaNewRelease.Idon’tspamandyoucanleaveanytime.
SocialMedia:
FollowmeonInstagramandTikTokand“Like”myFacebookpage.ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Alwaysabigthankyoutomyamazingreaders!Itrulycouldnotdothiswithoutyou.ItstillamazesmethatIgettobecreativeanddothisforalivingandsomeoneactuallywantstoreadwhatIwrite.ThankyoutomyWolfPackwhoissosupportive.TomyeditorsLeeandKate,Iamasloppymesswithoutyou.Andalwaystomyhusbandandchildrenforsharingmewithmyart.<3
© Copyright Notice
The copyright of the article belongs to the author. Please do not reprint without permission.
THE END
No comments yet