(The Kings of Avalier, Book 4)The Forbidden Wolf King The TikTok fantasy romance sensation for 2023

THEFORBIDDENWOLFKING
KINGSOFAVALIERBOOKFOURLEIASTONECopyright?2023byLeiaStone
Allrightsreserved.
Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedinanyformorbyanyelectronicormechanicalmeans,includinginformationstorageandretrievalsystems,withoutwrittenpermissionfromtheauthor,exceptfortheuseofbriefquotationsinabookreview.CONTENTS
TriggerWarning
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Chapter16
Chapter17
Chapter18
Chapter19
Chapter20
Chapter21
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
FollowMeTRIGGERWARNING
Violenceandbattlescenesarepresentinthisbook.ONE
“Youdon’thavetodothis,”myelderbrotherCyrussaidashepacedthefloorofthehomeIsharedwithmyyoungerbrotherOslo.Ourparentswerelonggone,andnowitwasjustmeandmytwobrothers.CyruswasmarriedoffwithtwopupsofhisownandlittleOslolivedwithme.
Ilookedupathim.“YesIdo.It’smandatory,Cy;thesummonssaysthatthemostdominantfemale—”
Cyruscutmeoff,loomingovermewithhistoweringheight.“Idon’tcareaboutthesummons!Thekingwillhaveplentyofwivestochoosefrom,noneedtogetkilledtryingto—”
“Excuseme?”Istoodonmytiptoesandpokedhiminthechest;nowitwasmyturntocuthimoff.“Youdon’tthinkIcanwin?”
Cyruslookedslightlyashamed.“Zara,Itrainedyoumyself,Iknowyouareapowerfulwarrior,buttogoagainstallofthemostdominantfemalesinFallenmoorejusttowintheking’shand?”
Silencedescendedontheroom.Ididn’twantthisopportunity,especiallynotwithAxilMoon.Wehadahistory,onethatItriedtoforgeteverysummer.Cyrusknewthat.ButwehadreceivedamandatoryorderandIwasnocoward.
“ToentertheQueenTrialsmeansdeath,”mylittlebrothersaidfromhisspotonthecouch,lookingupatmelikeascaredlittleboy.AttwelveyearsoldhecouldfendforhimselfifIdied,butIwaslikeamotherfiguretohim.He’dhavenoonetotuckhiminatnightorshowhimthewaysofthewolf.
“Whataboutthestatusthiswouldbringtoourfamily?”Iaskedthem.“ThepositionsofpoweryouandOslowouldgetifIwon?”
Mybrothersweredominant–butnotdominantenoughtobealphaofourpack,andyetnotsubmissiveenoughtobetakencareofbyitsmemberseither.Theyfoughtoverresourcesandhadtofendforthemselves,likemostmidpackwolves.IfIenteredthetrialsandwon,notonlywouldIbecomequeenofourpeople,butitwouldalsolaunchbothofmybrothersintoaplacewheretheywerepaidduessimplyforbreathing.Thefamilyofthequeenwantedfornothing.Newfurseverywinter,foodandlodgingthatwasallgiftedbytheking,andtheyweregivenplacesofhonorintheroyalwolvenarmy.
Myelderbrothercrossedhisarmsandassessedmewithhisgaze.Iwastwentysummersoldnow;hecouldnotdenythatIhadgrownintoawoman.Icouldholdthestareofeventhestrongestmalemembersofmypackwithoutcoweringandmymuscleslookedlikethey’dbeencarvedfromstone.Iwasnolongerthelittlescrappygirlhe’dtaughttofightbytheriverbank.Iwasthirdincommandofthispack,justunderthealphaandhissecond.Thatwasnosmallfeatforafemale.
“Zara,ifyouwin,youwouldhavetomarryKingAxil.You’reokaywiththat?Afteryourhistorytogether?”heasked.
“Whathistory?”mylittlebrotherpipedup
“Youdon’tneedtoknow,”CyrusandIbothshotback.
IsworeIcouldstillfeelAxil’slipsonminewhenIclosedmyeyesatnightandthoughtaboutthosetwosummermonthsatthedominantwolvestrainingcampwhenwewerefifteen.
Myfirstlove.OrwhatI’dthoughtwaslovewhenIwasjustalittlepup.Iwasbasicallyamothertomylittlebrothereventhen,constantlyweigheddownwiththeresponsibilitiesofhouseholdduties.Axilhadbeenabreathoffreshair.Ihadn’tknownhewastheprinceatthetime;IlivedinatinyvillagefarfromDeathMountain,wheretheroyalcourtresided.We’dlaughedandtalkedforhours.Kissedunderthemoonlightanddanceduntilourfeetfeltliketheyweregoingtofalloff.FortwomonthsstraightIate,drank,andbreathedAxilMoon.ItwasonlywhenhiselderbrothercaughtusmakingoutthatlastdayofcampthatIrealizedwhohewas,andeverythingcamecrashingtoahalt.
Icouldstillrememberthefightthey’dhadrightinfrontofme.
“Iloveher,”Axilhadtoldhisbrother.
“Youdon’tlovewomenlikethat,Axil,youbedthemandmoveontosomeonemoresuitablefromDeathMountain.You’reaprince,startactinglikeone.Let’sgo,beforesomeoneseesyou.”
I’dbeencrushed.Axilhadspokenofafuturetogether,ofwantingtovisitmeandmehim,ofonedaywantingtomarryme.I’dexpectedhimtotellhisbrothertoeatdirtbutinsteadhe’dloweredhisheadandwalkedawaywithoutanotherword.
Hejustleft.Throwingmeawaylikevillagertrash.It’snotlikeIhadanyideahewasPrinceAxil,brotherofKingAnsel,orthatI’djusthadaflingwithroyaltythatwouldneverhappenagain.Iwasbeneathhim.
“Zara.”Cyrusbroughtmebacktothemoment.
Ilookedmybrotherintheeyes,holdinghisgazeeasily.“Yes,Iwouldmarryhim.ToprovethatavillagerfromtheMudFlatscanmakeaqueen,”Isnarled,agrowlbuildingdeepinmythroat.AndtoprovetoAxilMoonandhisbrotherthatIwasgoodenough.StatusdidnotmakeaqueeninFallenmoore.Bruteforce,dominance,cunning,andpowerinbattledid.Thetrialswerealiteralfighttothedeath–orforfeit,butnoonewithanyself-respectdidthat.Youwouldbetornapartbyyourpackandbringyourfamilyshameforthreegenerations.
Mybrotherappraisedmedifferentlynow,walkingaroundmeinaslowcircle.“That’stheattitudeyouwouldneedtowinthis.”
Wewerebackinourrolesofcoachandstudent.I’dbeensparringwithCyrussinceIwasthreeyearsoldandbarelylearningtoshiftintomywolfform.
“Dorianwouldbesadtoloseyou.Youwillneedhispermission.”Mybrotherspokeofouralpha.Cyruswasright.AsthemostdominantfemalememberofourpackIwouldbealosstotheMudFlatpack.IkeptalloftheotherdominantwomeninlinebutifIdidthis,ifIwonthetrials,IwouldbringgreathonortoDorianandallofmypackmates.Iwasstillholdingmybrother’sgaze,waitingforhisapproval.Inourweirdlittlefamily,hewaslikeafathertomeandIwouldn’tenterwithouthisokay.
Thesummonscameinasamandatoryinvitation,butifthealphaofthepackdidn’twanttoletthatspecificfemalego,orshewasalreadyspokenforromantically,anothercouldbesentinherstead.Morgancouldgoinmyplace;shewasthenextinlineofsuccessionwheredominancewasconcerned.
“Goaskhim.Ifhesaysyes,I’lltrainyou,”mybrotherfinallysaid,breakingeyecontactwithme.
Cyruswasawell-sought-afterbattletrainer.Hemightnothavebeendominantenoughtobeanalpha,buthiscunningandstrategyinfightswasunmatchedinourarea.He’deventraveledtoDeathMountaintotrainsomeoftheRoyalGuard.Whathelackedinmusclehemadeupforinintelligence.
“I’lltellhim.Notask.”Icorrectedmybrother’ssubmissivethinking.
Cyruschuckled.“Goodluckwiththat.”
Dorianwasafairalpha,toughattimes,butfair.Theterm“toughlove”musthavebeencoinedforhim.WhenIwasthirteen,IstolesomeextrafoodfromthecommunitystoreroombecauseIwasboredandhestarvedmeforfourdaysandnightswithwateronly.Ineverstolefoodagain.Dorianearnedrespect;hedidn’taskforitblindly.
Noddingtomybrother,IgraspedthesummonsthathadcomefromDeathMountain.IthadgoneouttoallcitiesandvillagesinFallenmooreandthisonehadmynameonit.IwonderedifAxilevenknewthatI’dbecomingorifhisadvisorshadsentthistome.IthadbeenfiveyearssinceIsawhim,aboywhowasnowking.
Iswoopeddowntorufflemylittlebrother’shair.
“Berightback.”
Osloseemedsad,andIknewhedidn’twantthisformebecauseitcouldtakemeawayfromhim.Bendingdown,Ilookedhimrightintheeyes,holdinghisgaze.“IfIbecomequeen,youcancomelivewithmeatDeathMountainpalace,”Itoldhim,andhisentirefacelitup.
“Really?”
Inoddedandheglancedaway,nolongerabletolookintomyeyes.Hewasthemostsubmissiveinourfamilyanditmademewanttoprotecthimallthemore.
“Whatifyoudie?”heasked,hisvoicesmall.
Cyrusreachedoutandroughedhimupabit,shakinghisshoulderstightlyandforcingOslotopunchhimtogethimoff.“Thenshedieswithhonorandwewillhowlhernameatthemooneveryyearinremembrance,”Cyrussaid.
Cyruswasright,dyingduringtheQueenTrialswasagreathonor.
Thecontesttobecomequeenonlyhappenedwhenthekingneededawife.MymothertraveledtothecityandsawthetrialswithAxil’sfather,andthreeyearsagoI’dfollowedtheonewithhisbrotherAnselcloselyfromhere,butInevergottogoseeitinperson.Axiltookthepackfromhisbrotherthefollowingyearinachallengefight,leavinghimaliveasamercy.
Steppingoutofmyhome,Imademywayacrossthevillagesquare.Thepackwasoutandabout.Someofthewomenwereskinningafreshkillandafewmenwereinwolfform,sparringofftothesideandpracticingtheirhuntingtakedowns.Afreshhutwasbeingbuiltforanewlymarriedcoupleandthesunwashighinthesky.ItwasabeautifuldayinoursleepyvillagebutIknewifIdidthis,IwouldbeyankedfrommynormalandintothebustlingcapitalcityofDeathMountain.
IknockedonthedoorofDorian’shomeandhecalledoutimmediately.“Comein,Zara.”
Igrinned:damn,hissenseofsmellwassecondtonone.Iopenedthedoorandfoundhimeatingaplateofmeatandpotatoes.HiswifewastendingapotonthestoveandnoddedtomeasIwalkedin.
Amarawasthemostsubmissivememberofourpack.Sherarelyevermadeeyecontactandavoidedconfrontationatallcosts.Shewasapeacemaker,whichIlovedabouther.AnycivildisputewasbroughttoAmarafirsttoseeiftherewasamoreharmoniousoutcomepossible.Ifthatwasn’tthecase,itwasbroughttomeandIwastheharsherproblemsolver.Theycalledme“thepunisher”becauseIlikedtodoleoutpenaltieslikethosethatDorianhadgiventome,inordertoteachwolveslessonstheywouldneverforget.Untilyouhadfeltthepangsofhungereatingyourstomachinsideandout,youdidn’tknowwhatitwasliketowanttoreallywanttostealfood,andyou’dneverdoitoutofboredom.IttoughenedmeandtaughtmethingsIfeltwouldservemebetterthanaslaponthewrist.
Ipulledupachair,droppedthesummonsinfrontofmyalphaandthensatdown.
“Igotonetoo,”hesaid,suckingonapieceofmeatandthenhelookedupatmeandIheldDorian’sgaze.Myalphawasnearlyasbigasabearin.Hewaspackedwithmuscleandthoughhewasoverfortywintersold,hemovedwiththespeedandgraceofatrainedkiller.Hisshort-croppedhairwasdarkbrown,threadedthroughwithgraythatbledintohissalt-and-pepperbeard.Butitwashiseyesthatheldmenow,deepbrownwithflecksofyellow;theyfeltliketheypiercedmyverysoulwhenIlookedintothem.
DorianandIsatthereforafullminutejuststaringateachotherwhileAmarawhistledtoherselfandstirredwhateverwasinthepotonthestove.Itfeltlikeaheavyweighthadsettledovermyshoulderswhilemymindwantedmetolookaway,butmywillpowerwasmuchstronger.JustwhenIthoughtImightgoinsaneholdingthatstare,hespoke.
“Youreallywanttodothis?”heaskedandIbrokehisgazetolookdownatthesummons,catchingmybreathafterthesustainedeyecontact.IhadtoshowhimIwascapableofthis,thatIwasstrongenoughtodoit.
“Ido.IwanttobringhonortoourpeopleandshowthefancykingandhisbrotherthatagirlfromMudFlatpackcanwipethefloorwithanyofhiscitywolves.”
Myalphagrinnedbutthenhissmilefaltered.“AndcompetingforAxilMoon’sheartisokaywithyou?”
Mybreathhitched.Dorianhadbeentheonetopickmeupfromcampthatsummer.AfterAxilhadbrokenme,Dorian,AmaraandCyrushadbeentheonestohelpputmebacktogether.HeknewhowbadlyAxil’srejectionhadaffectedme.
Imethisstare,tryingtohidethevulnerabilityIwasfeeling.“Ihaveto.IneedtoshowAxilMoonthathewaswrongaboutme.”
Doriannoddedcurtly.“ThenIhaveonecondition,Zara.”
“Nameit.”Isaterect.
“Myconditionisthatyoudonotforfeit,”hestated.“Iwantyoutobequeenortodietrying.”
ChillsrusheddownmyspineandIswallowedhard.OfcourseIwantedthattoo.I’dalwaysbeentaughtitwasdishonorabletotapout,but…ifitreallycamedowntoit,couldIjust…allowmyselftobekilledtokeephonorinmypack?
Ihadthedistinctfeelingthiswasanotheroneofhislessons.ToseehowbadlyIwantedthis,howreadyIwasforit.
Heleanedforward,hiseyessuddenlygleamingwithemotion.“Zara,youhavealwaysbeenmyfavorite.Butifyoubendthekneetosomepompouscitywolf,IwillhavetokillyoumyselfandIdon’twanttodothat.”
Amarastoppedstirringandmadeawhiningsoundinherthroat.ButDorian’swordsgavemepride,therewasacomplimentlayereddeepsomewhereinthere.
“IwillwinorIwilldietrying,Alpha,”Ipromisedhim.
Hereachedforthepaperandhandedmebackthesummons.“Thenreplyyes.IassumeCyrusistrainingyou?”
Inodded.“Yes,Alpha.”
“Youonlyhavetwoweekstoprepare.I’llhelptrainyouaswell.AndMorganwilljoinus.”
Myheartpinchedwithpride.Forthealphatotaketimeawayfromallthebusydealingsofrunningapackofoverfiftywolveswasabigdeal.
“Thankyou,Alpha.I’llmakeyouproud,”Ivowedandstood,graspingthesummonstightlybetweenmyfingers.
Hegavemeacurtnodandthenwentbacktotearingintohiselkinmeat.AsIturnedtoleave,Amarastreakedacrosstheroomandpulledmeintoahug.
Iwascaughtoffguardatfirst.Dominantwolvesweren’tbigondisplaysofemotionsoIwasn’tkeenonhugging,butAmarawaslikeasecondmothertome.WhenmyownmotherdiedinchildbirthwithOslo,Iwasonlyeightyearsold.Myfather,thelastalphaofourpack,beforeDorian,haddiedafewmonthspriorinabearinattackonahuntingtrip.Ourentirefamilywasdevastatedwiththelossofourmomanddad.
Butthepackhadralliedaroundus,tohelpmakesurewehadwhatweneededuntilwecameofageandcouldfendforourselves.Theybroughtfood,blankets,cametocleanthehouseandplaywithus.ButitwasAmara,whowasinherearlytwentiesatthetime,newlymarriedtothealpha,whohadcomeeverysinglenightforfouryearsandsungmeandOslotosleep.ShewouldpatourbacksandsingoldsongsthatmymotherusedtowhenIwasayoungbabe.ShetaughtmehowtofeedOslofromamilkbagandtochangehissoiledlinens.
Ineverforgotthatkindness.
“I’llmissyou.”Hervoicecrackedandmythroatpinched.
“I’llmissyoutoo,Amama,”Isaid,andsheburstintolaughter.
Amarahadbecomeasecondmamatome,soIcalledherAmamaforawhileasayoungchildanditwaswhatOslocalledhernow.
Whenshepulledback,shewascrying.Icouldn’trememberthelasttimeI’dcried.
“Alrightthat’senough,you’llsoftenhertoomuch,”DoriantoldhiswifewithasmileandIgrinned.
Afterleavingtheirhut,Iopenedthesummonsagainandreaditforthetenthtime.
To:MudFlatpack
TheroyalwolvenadvisorswhoserveKingAxilarerequestingyourmostdominantfemalewolven,ZaraSwiftwater,toappearatDeathMountainintwoweeks’timetoentertheQueenTrials.
Winnertakesthethrone.
Pleasesendyourresponseviacourierimmediately.Adominantreplacementmaybesent.
Nameofcontestantorreplacement:
Alphaapproval:
Isteppedinsideourhouseandretrievedaquillandinkfrommyfather’solddesk.
CyruswassilentashewatchedmewriteZaraSwiftwaterinthecontestant’snamespotandthenyesunderAlphaapproval.Ihandedittohim.
“DorianandMorganwillhelptrainmeaswell,”Itoldhim.
Helookedimpressedatthat,andthroughourpacklinkIcouldfeelhisexcitementmixedwithapprehensionoverhislittlesisterenteringthetrials.Asawolvenpackmate,thereweretimeswhenyoudidn’tevenneedtospeak,onecouldsensetheothers’thoughtsoremotionsasiftheywereyourown.Andbecausehewasmybrotherourbondwasespeciallyclose.Asapack,wecouldallspeaktoeachothermentallyinwolfformbutashumanstherewerejustwispsoffeelingsfloatingbythatyouhadtointuit.
Cyruswalkedovertothestoragelockerwekeptbythecouchthathadallofmytrainingequipmentinside.Flingingitopen,helookedatme.“I’llgetthistoacourier.Yougetready,westartrightaway.”
Rightaway?
“Wehavetwoweeks,”Ipled.Trainingwithmybrotherwasnosmallfeat,hetookthetaskveryseriously.
“Weshouldhavestartedsixmonthsago,”hegrowled,andlefttheroom.
Ipeeredoveratmylittlebrother,whowaswatchingmefromthecouch,andtippedmychinhigh,hopingtolookstrongandunafraid.Whenhisbottomlipquiveredashetriedtoholdinhistears,Isighed.Hewassomuchlikemymother,alwayswearinghisheartandemotionsoutintheopen.Iwasmorelikemyfather,physicallystrong,mentallytoughandslightlyemotionallydeadinside.It’sjustwhoIwasandhowIoperated.Itwasasurvivaltechnique.
“Listen,kiddo,”Itoldhim.“Thisisthewaytobringhonortoourfamilynameandtothepack.Iwillnotdisappointus.”
Oslofrowned,tuckinghiskneesuptohischest.“Idon’tcareabouthonor.Ijustdon’twantyoutogethurt.”
IknewinthatmomentI’dbabiedhimtoomuchandthathewasfartoosofttosurviveevenmidpack.He’dbeasubmissivelikeourmotherandberelegatedtomenialtaskswithinourvillage,andthatsaddenedme.Butmaybethat’swhathewanted.Alifefreeofhuntingandfightingandallthethingsthatgotmybloodpumping.Hewastwelvenowandthiswaswhenyourwolfreallysettledintowhotheywere.Adominantorsubmissive.
Walkingover,Iruffledhishair.“Wellregardless,I’llmakeeveryoneproudanyway.”
Itwaseitherthat,orabodybag.Iwasn’taquitter.Iwouldbendthekneeonlyifitwerebrokenfrommyleg.TWO
TwoweekshadpassedandI’dnearlydiedadozentimes,especiallylastweekonthenightofthefullmoonwhenmywolfneverleftherfurryformandwouldn’tletmetransformtohuman.ItfeltlikeDorian,Morganandmybrotherwereactivelytryingtokillme.IwasduetoleaveforDeathMountaininafewmomentsandmybrotherwantedonelastlessonwithme.
“ButI’vealreadychanged.”Imotionedtomycleanleathertrousersandpristinebearinfurcoat.Freshlykilledlastseason.
Myelderbrotherglaredatme.“You’retooclean.Arrivewithbloodanddirtonyourclothesanditshowshowhardyou’vebeenworking.Maketheotherwomenfearyou.”
Hehadafairpoint.Whatmademybrothertheleadtrainerforthealphawasthis,thementalgameshetaughtpeopletoplayinordertowinfights.
Getintheirheadandtwistthingstodistractthemorblowthemofftheirgame.Hisadvicecamebacktome.
Isighedandpulledoffmyfurcoat,showingthesmallstripoffabricovermybreasts.Asshifters,wewentinandoutofourwolfformsooftenitwaseasiertojusttieastripofclothoverthingsthantokeeprippingexpensivetunics.
Themembersofmyvillagegatheredroundus,poundingthegroundinencouragement.
Igrinned:they’dbeenreallysupportiveofmelatelyanditmeanteverythingtometohavethemstandingbehindmybidtobewinneroftheQueenTrials.
IwaitedforMorganorLolatoenterthecircleandsparwithme,butitdidn’thappen.Instead,thecircleopenedupandDorianhimselfsteppedinside,tunic-lessandwearingaloincloth.
OhHades.
I’dfoughtmeninourpackbefore.Smalldisputes,orfortrainingpurposes,but…neverasparringmatchwiththealpha.
Iswallowedhard.
Heheldmygazeasheenteredthecircleandinsteadofprotestingoraskingwhatwasgoingon,Icrackedmyknuckles,preparingforthefight.Thepackwentwildwithhowls,evenintheirhumanform,andstampedonthegroundinexcitement.
Tomyknowledge,thealphahadneversparredwithawoman.Probablyforfearofkillingher.
Icouldsensemybrother’sfeelingswithouthimhavingtoevenspeak.Wesharedapacklinkafterall.
Dorianwasbiggerthanme,andstronger.SoIneededtousemysmallersizeandspeedasanadvantage.
TheQueenTrialswouldbeamixtureofhumanfighting,wolffightingandweaponsrounds.Ididn’tknowthedetails,butIneededtobereadyonallfronts.
“Rules?”Iaskedmyalphaaswecircledeachother.Ididn’twanttohurthimandhavehimreprimandmeinfrontofeveryoneandIalsodidn’twanthimtocomeatmehardifwewerejustdemonstratingtechnique.
“None,”hedeclaredandthenlaunchedatme.
Ayelpofsurpriseleftmythroatbutmybrotherhadtaughtmewell.Iinstinctivelydroppedtomykneesandthrewmyarmout,connectingmyfistwiththealpha’sgroin.Hegruntedandfellforward,downtomylevel,andItookhimtothegroundeasily.Yankinghisanklewithonehardtug,hefellflatonhisstomach.Thepackscreamedandhowledinexcitement.
JumpingonDorian’sback,Iputonearmaroundhisthroatandthentriedtousemylegstopinhismassivearmsdown,butitdidnogood.Hestood,withmeonhisback,andthenwewerefallingbackwards.Hebodyslammedme,landinghisentireweightontopofme,andtheairleftmylungsinarush.Icouldn’tbreathe,myarmsgoinglimpasherolledoffmeandspun.Hisfistsslammedintomyface,stomach,andthroat;abarrageassaultthatwassofastIcouldn’tgetmybearings.
“Usewhatyouhave!”mybrothersnapped.
Ifeltthedirtbeneathmyfingersandgrabbedahandful,throwingitintothealpha’sface.Hecoughedandsputteredwhichgavemethechancetocatchmybreathandrolloutfromunderhim.
Timetowolfout.ItwastheonlywayIwouldhaveachance.Changingtomywolfformleftmevulnerableduringtheshiftingprocessbuthewasblindedbydirtforthenextseveralseconds,soitwasnowornever.
Mybonesstartedtosnapandtransformasthepainrippedthroughme.Beingashapeshifterandchangingformsoftendidn’tmakeithurtanyless.Itwasexcruciatingeverytime,whichnaturallyhadgivenourkindahighpaintolerance.IwashalfwaythroughtheshiftwhenDoriangrabbedmylegandpulled.
MyupperbodyhitthegroundandthenIwasbeinghauledintotheairasIcompletedmyshift.IgrowledandsnarledathimbutheheldmeuplikeapupasIwiggledandsquirmedbeforehim.Thepainofshiftingmademyskinfeelraw,butIstayedcalm.Dorianlandedblowafterblowagainstmystomach,treatingmelikeapunchingbag.Hewasn’tgoingfullsteamasthiswasasparringmatch,somyribsweren’tbreaking,butIwouldbebruisedprettygood.
Inthatmoment,IrememberedeverythingI’dlearnedwhiletrainingwithmybrotherovertheyearsandinthepasttwoweeks.
Isuddenlywentcompletelylimp,mywolf’sheadlollingtothesideasifI’dpassedout.
“Nicetry,”Doriansnappedandsucker-punchedmeinthegutagainwhilestillholdingmeupintheairbytheleg.
IttookeveryounceofcontrolIhadnottoreacttothepunch.IknewDorianwasarespectedfighterwhovaluedhonor:hewouldn’teverbeatonanunconsciousperson.Itmeanthe’dalreadywon.Itwastheoneweaknesshehad,thathewasamanofhonorandneverwantedtheeasywayout.
Withasigh,helaidmeonthegroundandaddressedthepack.“Iguessshe—”
Isprangupinmywolfformandwentrightforhisthroat,nippingitlightlysothathewouldknowIcouldhaverippeditouthadthisnotbeenasparringmatch.WhenIlandedbackontheground,IlookeduptoseetheredteethmarksI’dgrazedacrosshisskin.
Iheldhisgazeasthepackcheeredandhollered,knowingI’dwonthesecondI’dnippedhisthroat.Inarealfight,he’dbedead.
Doriangraspedmywolfformbythearmpitsandhauledmeuptostareintohisyellowglowingeyes.
“Welldone.You’reaforcetobereckonedwith,ZaraSwiftwater,youalwayshavebeen.Don’tforgetthat.”
ItwastheDorianequivalentofIloveyouandIamproudofyou,kid.Don’tdie
Inoddedandhesetmedown.
Withthepackslammingthegroundandhowlingaroundme,Ifeltreadytogotothecitywithmybrother.
ImadequickworkofsayinggoodbyetoOsloandeveryoneelse.Ididn’twanttogetemotionalrightbeforeourtrip.
“MindAmarauntilI’vewon,andthenI’llsendforyou,”Iinformedmybabybro.She’dalreadypromisedtokeepaneyeonhimbuttwelvewastheageofresponsibilityinourpack.Heneededtolearntobeonhisown.Nomorebabyinghim.
Hegavemeacurtnod,hiseyeswellingwithtearsandmyheartsqueezed.
“Whatifyou…die?”hesaidaswestoodinthedoorwayofourhome.
Cyruswasoutsidewaitingforme,soitwasjustthetwoofus.
Ifhewereten,I’dlietohimandtellhimIwasn’tgoingtodie.Butheneededthetruth.
Ipulledhimintoatighthug.“ThenIwillmissyouthemostbecauseyouaremyfavorite,”Itoldhimandhisarmswrappedaroundmeinadeathsqueeze.“Andyouwillbefinewithoutme.Betoughandworkyourwayupinthepackuntilyoufindaplacethatfeelsright.”
HenoddedagainstmyshoulderandIheardhimswallowasob.
Ipulledbackfromhim,notwantingtomotherhimtoomuch.Hewasgoingtohavetotoughenupifhewantedtosurviveherewithoutme.ButIwouldbelyingifIdidn’tadmitthatIwantedtotakehimwithme,toholdhimcloseuntilhewasolderandlesssensitive.
Wewerebabieswhenwelostourmotherandfather.OsloandIhadgrownuptogether.Meandhimagainsttheworld.
“Getinsideandmakesomelunchforyourself,okay?”Isaid.
Henoddedandwipedathiseyesandthatwasthat.Icouldn’tlingeranylonger.
Spinning,Iwalkedovertomeetmyolderbrother.Hewasstandingonthewolfsledwithhalfadozenpackmembersharnessedandreadytopullit.
IfIdidn’tneedtotakeanythingwithme,IcouldhavejustshiftedtomywolfformandwalkedtoDeathMountain,butasatrialcandidatewithacoach,IneededclothingandweaponsandmorethanmybrotherandIcouldcarryalone.
“Youbabyhim,”CyrusscoldedasIapproached.
Irolledmyeyes,tiredofthesameoldargument.“WillMenabeokaywiththetwinswhileyou’regone?”Iclimbedupbesidehimonthewolfsled.
HiswifeMenahadjustgivenbirthtotwinboyssixmonthsago;Iwassureshewasn’tkeenonhimleavingsosoon.
“She’llbefine.She’sstrongandshe’sgotthepack.”HelookedaroundatoursmallvillageandIfollowedhisgaze.IlovedMudFlatvillage.Underthelightdustingofsnowwehadnowwasanendlessseaofcrackedmudandtherewasnotasoulformilesandmiles.Itwasn’tforeveryone,livingoutinthemiddleofnowhere,butIlovedthesolitudeandthecompanyofjustourpack.Otherpackshadtofightforterritorybutouthere,inaplacenotalotofpeoplewantedtolive,wehadhundredsofmilestoourselves.TherewasnothingmorefreeingthanrunningatlightningspeedacrosstheMudFlatswithnolandscapetostopyou.WewereexpertsatsurvivalintheelementsandIdidn’tneedmuchtomakemehappyorcomfortable,somethingIthoughtwouldservemewellattheQueenTrials.RumorhaditthatinoneoftheQueenTrialschallengestheytestedyourwillpowerandtriedtowearyoudownbylessthancharminglivingaccommodations.Thepeoplewouldnotacceptaweakqueeninanyaspect.
Ourfellowpackwolvesthatweretetheredtothesledtookoffthen,andIgrippedthebarsatthesidestoholdon.Iwasweary,coveredindirtandsnowandmylipwasbleedingbutmybrotherwasright.Itwouldbeanadvantagetoshowuptothecapitallookinglikethisagainstthoseposhcitywolves.
***
Theridetookalldayandpartoftheevening:wehadtosticktothecommunaltrailssothatwedidn’tencroachonanyotherpacks’land.WeonlyarrivedatthegatesofDeathMountainwellaftersuppertimeandmystomachwasgrowling.Cyrushadbeeninformedtherewouldbesomekindofwelcomedinnerandthenallcompetitorswouldbegivenaccommodationsforthemselvesandtheircoach.I’dneverbeentoDeathMountain.Thecityheldnoappealforme.InthesummerIsleptoutsideinahammockwithOslosothatwecouldlookupatthestars.AndeveninthewinterIwentonlongdailywalkstokeepmymusclesleanandtostaytolerantagainstthecold.Peopleinthecitydidn’tdothat.Theyweretoogoodforit,thesoftestofourkind.Theirbodieswereplumperandhadlessmuscledefinition.Foodwasbroughttothemonaplatter.Firesweremadeandstokedforthembyservants.Yeah,theycouldaffordallthefancytrainingcoachesbuthowtheythoughtastrongqueenwouldbechosenfromthisplacewasbeyondme.
Iglancedaroundasweenteredthegatestothecity.DeathMountainhadbeenhalfcarvedoutinanefforttomineforgoldbyearlysettlers.Sowhenthewolventookover,theybuiltthepalacerightontheplateau,halfwayupthemountain.Therewasnoarmythatcouldreachitwithoutusknowingandthrowingthemtotheirdeathsbeforetheyevengotclosetous.
Wepassedasmallvillageofhomesthatwereskinnybuttall,someonlytenfeetwidebutfourstorieshigh.Spacewasinshortsupplywhenbuildingonamountainside.
Istaredattheopulentman-madecityandfeltthethoughtswarinsideofme.Thewolfpartofmethoughtthelargelavishstonecastlewithsparklinggoldinlaywasamockerytoourkind.Wewereanimals,wesleptondirt,notsilksheets.Butthehumanpartofmesawthedesireforsuchnecessities.Wedidspendhalfthetimeinthesehumanbodiesandtheythrivedwithsuchluxuries.
Theentirefrontentrancewaspackedwithtentsfromtravelersthathadcomeinfromtheoutlyingcitiesandvillages.Wehadleftthewolfsledatthebaseofthemountainandhikeduptogetherasapackofeight,allrepresentingtheMudFlats.
SomewolvescameoutoftheirtentstoassessthenewcomersandImadesuretostareeachandeveryoneofthemdownsothattheyknewtheirplace.
Submissivesquicklylookedawaywhilefellowdominantsheldmygazeforlonger.
Thesmellofcampfiresandcookingmeathitmynoseandmystomachgrowled.
Cyruslookedtotherestofourpackrepresentatives.“Findaplaceforourtentandsetupcamp.IhavetoregisterZarainside.”
Theynoddedandoneofthemoredominantfemales,Sasha,reachedoutandsqueezedmyshoulder.“Makeusproud,”shetoldmeinserioustone.
Inodded,tryingnottoletherwordshaveaneffectonme.RepresentingtheMudFlatpackintheQueenTrialswasahugehonor.
Somewouldsayweweretheleastlikelytobelonginapalace.Welivedofftheland,withoutrunningwaterortoilets,liketheyhadinthecityandotherlargetowns.Wehuntedourfood,wedidn’tbuyitfrommarketstalls.ButIwouldarguethatmademethemostlikelytowinachallengeofthiskind.IwashardenedbylifeandIfoughteverydaytokeepmyplaceofthirdinalargepackofambitiouswolves.
AsCyrusandIweavedinandoutofthetentcityonthelargegrassylawnofthepalace,peoplestaredandpointedatme.Someevenheldcardsintheirhandsandmarkedthingsonthem.
Ipeeredcloseratthecardsaswepassedandmystomachtiedintoknots.
Bettingcards.Onwhowoulddiefirst.Atfirstglanceitlookedlikeovertwodozennames.
Cyrussnapped,causingmetopullmyattentiontohishandsandthenhestartedtospeakwithhisfingers.
Areyounervoustoseetheking?Mybrotherusedhandlanguagetospeaktomesothatothersnearbycouldn’tunderstand.Oneofourpackmate’schildrenwasbornwithouthearing,whichwasextremelyrareforawolf,butTigcouldn’tevenhearthewindrustle.WedesignedthelanguageintheMudFlatpacksothatwecouldcommunicatewithhim.Italsoprovedusefulatfestivalsandeventswherewedidn’twantotherpackstohearuswiththeirsensitiveears.Inwolfformwecouldsharethoughts,butashumans,thiswasthebestwe’dcomeupwithwhenunabletospeak.
No.WhywouldIbe?WewerekidswhenIsawhimlast.Astupidcrush.Imovedmyfingersquicklyandmybrothergavemealookthatsaid,‘Idon’tbelieveyou.’TobehonestIwasn’tsureIbelievedmyself.
Justdon’tletanythingshowonyourface.Idon’twantaweaknessexploitedbyothercontestants,hemotionedwithhisfingers.
Inoddedoncebuthiswordshitmehard.
Iwouldn’tbeaffectedbyseeingAxilMoon…wouldI?
***
TheRoyalMooncastlewaseverythingIthoughtacastlewouldbe.FullofservantsandelectricityandfancytapestriesandmorefoodthanI’deverseeninmylife.CyrusandIhadjustcheckedinwiththeroyalwolvenadvisorswhoweremakingsurewefollowedtherulesduringtheQueenTrials.
“Enjoytonight.Tomorrowmorningthefirsttrialstarts,”oneoftheking’sadvisorssaidtous.
Theadvisorswereeightintotalanddescendedfromalonglineofguidestotheking.Theywereeasytospotastheyallhadshavedheadsandworetheredrobethatsignifiedtheirstatus.Axilwasthealphaking,buthedidnothingwithoutthesemen’sinput.
Inoddedcurtlyandthentheadvisorlookeddownatmyclothing.“Wouldyouliketobeshowntoyourrooms?Youcanchangebeforedinner.”
CyrusspokebeforeIhadachance.“No,we’dliketoeatnow.It’sbeenalongjourneyandwearen’tconcernedwithfashion.”
Theadvisorseemedlikehe’dbeenslappedandIhadtosuppressagrin.Thepsychologicalwarfarehadbegun.Cyruswasinhiselement.
“Ofcourse.”Themanintheredrobegesturedtoapairofopendoors.
“Oh,Ialmostforgot.Hereisyourchampionnumber,Zara.”ThemanhandedmeahandwrittenticketandIglanceddownatittoseethenumberonewritteninabigblockystyle.Therewasapinlancedthroughit.
ThemanlookedatmychestasifindicatingIwearthenumber.Ipinneditonandhenoddedinsatisfaction.
Judgingbythebustlingroomfullofpeople,Iwasoneofthelastwomentoshowup,buthadstillbeengivenanumberoneticket.Interesting.Whatdiditmean?Werewerankedinourrumoredabilitiesorwasitjustrandom?MudFlatsdidn’tgetmuchfanfareandalthoughIwasthemostdominantfemaleinourpack,IdoubtedIwasthemostdominanthere.
Itwouldtakealltheskillsmybrotherhadtaughtmetosurvivethisthing.
Assoonasweenteredtheroom,IknewCyrushadbeenrighttodemandIfightouralphathismorning.Andtoinsistwenotchangeourclothes.
Theroomwasfullofwomeninprettysilkdressesthatkissedthefloor.Theirhairwastiedupinglossystrandsandtheircombatcoaches,whethermaleorfemale,weredressedtoimpressaswell.
Everysingleheadturnedinourdirectionwhenweenteredandfearwashedoveratleasthalfoftheirfaces.Theirwildstaresranthelengthofmyblood-encrustedclothing,totheyellowingbruisesonmyfaceandstomach,andthentomybrotherwholookedjustashardenedfromthetrip.
Withoutawordofintroductionornicetywesteppedovertoalongtableandstackedourplateshighwithmeats,potatoesandbreadrolls.Itriedtotakesomesweetsbutmybrotherswattedmyhand.
Fighttomorrow.Nosweets,hehandsigned.
Iwantedtoprotest,buthewasright.Mybodydidn’treallylikesweets:theyfeltgoodgoingdownbutalwaysmademesluggishafterwardandthirstythenextdayifIhadtoomuch.WelivedoffthelandintheMudFlatsandotherthansomewildberries,wedidn’thavethekindofsweetstheyhadherelikecakesandcookiesandthingstheysoldatmarketsintheoutlyingvillages.Mybodywasn’tusedtothem.
Passingthroughthecrowdwhichhadfallensilent,CyrusandIlookedforanemptytable.
Aswewerewalkingby,awomaninagreendresswiththenumberthreepinnedtohertoppluggedhernose.
“Peeyew,lookwhattheMudFlatsdraggedin,”shesaidinanasaltone.“Clearlyshedidn’tgetthememoabout—”
Ididn’twaitforhertofinishhersentence;insteadIsnappedoutwithajabtothesideofhertemplewithmyfreehandandknockedheroutcold.Herbodycrumpledtothefloorlikeabagofrocks.Ilookedupatthesmartlydressedmanwho’dbeenstandingnexttoherasagrowlbuiltinhisthroat.Hercombatcoach.
“ControlyourwolfornexttimeI’lltakeherarm,”Itoldhim.
Furrippleddownthesideofhisfacebuthedidn’tmove.Iwaswellwithinmyrightstoshutthatdisrespectdown.
Someoftheotherwomengaspedinshockatmybehavior,butnotallofthem.Onewoman,wearingthenumbertwopinnedtohergoldgown,merelywatchedmelikeahunterwatchedprey.IneededtosetaprecedentthatIwouldnottakeridiculefromanyone,butIrealizedIhadalsorevealedtotheotherswhotheirmaincompetitionwas.Nowtheywouldhaveitoutforme.
Ohwell.
CyruscasuallytookaseatatanemptytableasifmyoutburstwasaneverydayoccurrenceandIjoinedhim.
Goodgirl,hehandsignedandIgrinnedasIbegantowolfdownmyfood.Iatelikeawildanimal,halfstarved.Ihadskippedbreakfastandlunchandotherthansnackingonafewstripsofsmokedmeat,thiswastheonlymealI’dhadallday.
AsIwastearingintoatenderpieceofelkinmeat,asturdyblondewearingabluedresssatnexttome.Shereekedoffloralperfume,whichmywolvennosehated,andsheworefartoomuchmakeup.Thenumbertwenty-fourwaspinnedtoherchest.
“Welcome.MynameisElizaGreenofDeathMountainpack.Ijustwantedtotakeaminutetointroducemyselfbeforewealltrytokilleachothertomorrow.”Shegaveanervouschuckle.
Isaidnothing,continuingmymeal.
“Wow.Youreallyshowedthatgirlwhoisboss.Idon’tevenknowifweareallowedtostartfightingyet,butthatwasprettycool,”sheadded.
Mygazeflickedupfrommyfoodandheldherblueeyesaswelockedinastare.Iwasagoodreaderofpeople:thisgirlwaswaytoonicetosurvivethisthing.Andshewasn’tbeingcalculating,liketryingtomakeanallianceonlytokillmelater.Thatdidhappen.Therewasasweetnessinhervoice,alongwithanunderlyingnervousness.Shewasinnocent.
“I’mprobablygoingtobeoneofthefirsttogo,”sheprattledon.“ButatleastI’llmakemyfamilyproud,right?Sorry,ItalkalotwhenI’mnervous.”
CyrussnappedhisfingersandIlookedathim.
Don’tmakefriends.
Inodded,butIalsodidn’twantthisgirltobethefirsttogo.
“Doyouwanttodietomorrow?”Iaskedherflatly.
Shefrozeatmywords,maybebecauseitwasthefirstthingI’dsaidaftersheintroducedherselfsonicely.
“Ofcoursenot.Iwanttomakemypackproud.Thisismyhometurf,”sherepliedseriously.
Idippedmychinandthenleanedinclosely.“Thenstopbeingsonicetopeople.Infact,Iwantyoutospitinthefaceofthenextpersonthattalkstoyou.”
ShelookedappalledatthatandCyrusreachedoutandpinchedmythightostopmefromhelpingheranymore.
“Nowgoaway,”Isnappedandagrowlroseinherthroatasshestoodsofastthatherchairfellbackandcrashedontheground.
Noweveryonewaslookingatusagain.
Good.
Iwantedthemtorememberthefacethatwasgoingtobethelastonetheysawbeforetheytooktheirfinalbreath.
Ididn’twanttokillanyone,butthiswasourway.Thechosenqueenmustbethestrongestamongusandthathadtobeproveninbattle.
Therewasamotionatthefrontoftheroomandtheneveryonequietedandturnedtheirattentionthatway.
Ifinishedmybiteandstood,tryingtogetaviewofwhatorwhotheywerelookingat.ThecrowdpartedandAxilMoonsteppedintotheroomwithhisolderbrotherAnselandtwoadvisors.Themomentmygazefelluponhim,itwaslikeI’dbeenkickedinthestomach.Theairknockedoutofme,mymouthpoppedopenanditwaslikeIwasrightbackatthetrainingcampallthoseyearsago.
AxilMoonwasnolongeraboy,hewasallmanandIwasn’tpreparedforit.
Thesightpulledmesuddenlyintoamemoryofourtimetogetheratcamp.
We’dbeeninseparableforamonthandhadgoneswimmingatthelakewithourfriends.Isplashedthewaterplayfullyatfifteen-year-oldAxil,causinghimtogrin,anddothesame.Isquealedwhenatonofwaterdousedmyfaceandhair.
“Toofar,Axil!”Igrowledandtookoffafterhimtoretaliate.OurfriendscheeredmeonasAxilswamquicklytowardsthefloatingtanningdockthatbobbedinthecenterofthelake.We’dallbeenwrestlingandsparringforamonth.AxilknewIwouldn’tlethimlivethisdownwithoutatleastgettingagooddunkin.
HelaughedwildlyasIstruggledtokeepupwithhim.HewasabetterswimmerthanIwasandheknewit.Ourfriendswerenowlikelittleblipsontheshoreline.
AxilreachedthefloatingdockbeforemeandIkickedharder,wincingwhenmylegcrampedupsharply.Iwasadecentswimmer,butthislakewasreallydeepandallofasudden,Ihadtostopandtreadwater.
“Axil!”Iscreamedinpanic:myplayfulangerathimwasgone.
Hetookonelookatmeflounderinganddoveintothewater,swimmingformeharderthanafish.
Myleg.Stupidcramp.Itriedtokeepmyheadabovewater,mywolfwantingtocomeouttoprotectus.
SuddenlyAxilwasthere,haulingmeintohisarms.Hiseyessearchedmyfacefrantically.“Whathappened?”heaskedashepulledustowardsthefloatingdock.
“Myleggotacramp,”Itoldhimbreathlesslyasthepanicleftmysystem.
Wereachedthedockandhehauledmeup,andIsettledinhislap.Hewasholdingthesidesofmyface,peeringintomyeyeswithterror.
“Ithought…Zara,Ican’teverloseyou.I’minlovewithyou.Now.Forever.Always.”
Theairwasknockedoutofmylungs.
“Iloveyoutoo,”Imurmured.
Reachingout,hestrokedhisthumbacrossmybottomlipandthenIleanedforwardandcapturedhismouthwithakiss.HeopenedhislipstodeepenthekissandourtonguesintertwinedasIleanedfurtherintohim.Sincemyparentshaddied,notalothadmadesenseinthisworld.Whybadthingshappenedtogoodpeople.WhyI’dhadsuchahardlifewhileothershaditeasy.ButbeingherenowwithAxil,wrappedinthesafetyofhisarms,itfeltsoright.Itfeltlikehome
Mybrotherclearedhisthroatnexttome,pullingmeoutofthememoryandbacktotheroomatDeathMountain.Iblushed,givinghimanapologeticsmileandthenlookednexttoAxiltoseeAnselMoon.
Hisolderbrotherwalkedwithapermanentlimp,theonlyreminderoftheirfightforalphakingtwoyearsago.AxilhadwonandnowIsawwhy.HewasaheadtallerthanAnselandbiggertoo.Axilhadascruffybeardwhichframedhischiseledjawandhisblueeyeswerelikearrowsseekingfleshastheyscannedtheroomandstoppedatme.
Ilookedawayoninstinctandfoundthatthewomaninthegolddresswaswatchingmewithagrin.
Damn.I’dshownmyhand,unabletohidethatIwasaffectedbyseeingthealphaking.
HopefullyshewouldthinkIjustfoundhimattractiveandnotthatwehadahistorytogether.
IcouldfeelAxil’sgazeonmeandsoItooktheopportunitytotakeoffmyfurcoatandshowcasemyleanchiseledarmsandabdominalmuscles.Iwasstilljustwearingaclothstripovermybreastsandthelow-slungtighttrousersmadeofelkinleather.Mybodywasdottedwithdriedblood,dirtandfadingbruisesasmywolvenhealingtookcareofthismorning’swounds.Ilookedlikeawarrior,forgedinfireandblood,afarcryfromthegirlheonceknewatfifteen.
WhenIturnedtofacehim,hewaspassingbyourtableandlookedlikehe’dseenaghost.IheldhishauntedgazeandtippedmychinuphighasiftosaythatInolongercaredthatheleftmebroken-heartedatthetrainingcampallthoseyearsago.Iwantedhimtothinkhewasbarelyamemorytome,awispinmymindthathadallbutdisappeared.
ButIwasn’tpreparedfortheagonythatcrossedhisfeatures.PuremiserywasetchedintohisfaceandIswallowedhard,tryingtoprocesswhyhewouldseemthatwayuponseeingme.
Didherecognizeme?Ihadgrownintoawomanmyself,butIwasstillthesamebrown-hairedgirlhe’daskedtodancewithatcamp.
HewalkedrightuptomeandhisadvisorspushedthecrowdofotherwomenbackashisbrotherAnselbegantotalkwiththem,givingusprivacy.
Isteeledmyselfforthisinteraction,forthechancetospeaktohimafterhesocruellyleftmewithoutaword.
Ineveryothercultureyoubowedbeforekings.
Notours.
Iheldhisgazeevenwhenithurt.Asmybreathhitched,Istaredintohisblueeyesforaslongaspossible,ashecontinuedtoholdmineinhislineofsight.IknewfromthemomentthatI’dmethim,whenwewerefifteen,thathewouldbeafuturealpha,butI’dhadnoideahewasaprinceandwouldonedaybetheking.
IwantedtoshowhimnowthatIwasn’ttheweaklittlegirlfromtheMudFlatsthatheandhisbrotherthoughtIwasbackthen.AndIwantedthefirstwordsoutofhismouthtobe,Iknewitwouldbeyou,Iknewyouwouldbethestrongestamongyourpack.IhadclawedmywaytothetopandnowIhadachancetobehisequal.
“Zara.”Hebreathedmynamelikeaprayerandallrationalthoughtleftme.“Idon’tknowwhethertobehappyyoucameorhorrified.”
Ipaled,notexpectingthatresponse.“Horrified?You…invitedme?”
Heswallowedhardandthenleanedclose,hisfamiliarscentwashingovermewhichcausedawhinetobuildinmythroat,butIswalloweditdown.Loweringhisvoicetobarelyawhisper,hepressedhislipsagainstmyear.
“NowIregretit.Youshouldn’thavecome,”hesaidandpulledawayfrommewithaheartbreakingfrownbeforehestalkedoff,leavingmeinaworldofhurtandconfusion.ThiswasnotexactlyhowIimaginedmyreunionwithAxil,butthebastardhadclearlychanged.HewasnolongerthesweetteenageboyI’dtonguekissedforhoursunderthemoonlightwhilewe’ddreamedupafuturetogether
Horrifiedtoseeme?Regrettedinvitingme?Thatfoolwasgoingtohavesomeregret.Iwasgoingtomakehimregretthedayhemetmeandeverydaythereafter.
NowIwantedtowinthisandtobecomehiswifejusttodenyhimeverytimeheaskedtobedme.
Wolvenmatedforlifeandweremonogamous.I’dforcethebastardintocelibacyaspaybackforhowhetreatedme.
Neverunderestimateawomanwho’dbeenscorned.THREE
CyrusandIrefusedthelivingaccommodationsinsidethecastleandpreferredtosleepinthelargetentoutsidewithourpackmates.AfterseeingAxil,we’dleftandI’dsleptinoneoftheeighthammockssetupinsideofthesizeableshelter.I’dmuchratherhavemypackmateswatchingmybackwhileIsleptthansleepaloneinaroominsidethebellyofthebeast.
Tobehonest,hearingAxiltellmethatIshouldn’thavecomehadshakenme.Ifeltasunwantedashe’dmademefeelallthoseyearsago.Ishouldn’tallowittobotherme,butitdid.Afterthecruelwayhe’dbrokenupwithmeatcamp,tonowtellmethatIshouldn’thavecomewasawfulandIhatedhimforit.MybrainchewedonitallnightuntilIwasfumingwithrage.
How.Dare.He.
Iwasquietallthroughbreakfastasmypackmatesmadeamealoffreshrabbitinandquaileggsthey’dhuntedthatmorning.
Cyrusleanedintome,lookingacrossthecampatafamiliarwoman.Shewastheonewhohadbeenwearingthegolddressthenightbefore.
“IvannaRivers.Crestlinepack,secondincommand,”hesaid,andchillsrandownmyarms.Second?Shemadesecondinapackfullofdominantmales!Crestlinewasknownforitsbrutality.AformidablegroupofwolveswholivedintheharshestclimateinFallenmoore.Theysometimesgotuptosixfeetofsnowinwinterandhadtogodayswithoutfood.Theywereevenrumoredtoeattheirownkindinafamine.Shewouldbehardenedandprobablymybiggestcompetitor.
Shetoohadchosentosleepinthetentwithherpackmates,astone’sthrowfrommine.Iwatchedassheandherbattlecoachwalkedtogethertothecheck-intentacrossthelawn.Sheheldmystaretheentiretime,whichstirredmywolf.
“Comeon,let’sgocheckinwiththeredrobes,”Cyrussaidsarcastically,gesturingtothewolfadvisors.
Idippedmychinandwebothstoodasourpackmateswishedmegoodluck.Ifollowedmybrotherovertoacheck-intablewhereIwasgivenablue-coloredcardbyanadvisorandtoldtogotothecorrespondingcoloredchallengertent.
“I’llwaitforyououtside,”Cyrustoldme.Inoddedcurtlyandsteppedintothebluetent.
Ivannawasthere,standinginthemiddleholdingabluecardaswell.SheglaredmedownasIenteredandImovedinacirclearoundherwithpredatorialinstinct.
Shespuntomatchmymovements,neverallowingmeherback.Shewastallerthanme,andlean,withaboutthesamemusclemass.ShewasoneofthemostbeautifulwomenI’deverseen.Herlongdarkhairhungdownherbackinthickglossycurlsandhergoldenskinwasriddledwithscarsupherarmsfromfighting.Ittookalottoscarawolven.Herchinwasperfectlypointed,aswashernoseandherpinklipswerefullandpuckered.
Thereweretwotents,redandbluewhichmeantIvannaandIwerenotfightingeachother.Nottodayatleast.Fornow,itseemedwewereonthesame‘team.’
ElizasteppedintothetentthenandInoticedhowpaleshelooked.IbrokeeyecontactwithIvannaandglancedatthetoo-nicewolf.
“We’regoingtobeallowedweapons,”theDeathMountainwolfannouncedwithfartoomuchnervousnessinhervoice.
“Great.”Istoodandrolledoutmyneck.
Ilovedweaponsofallkinds.Swords,daggers,throwingstars,aheavymace.Mybloodpumpedjustthinkingaboutit.
Ivannastoodupstraighter,apparentlynotlikingmytallstaturenexttoher
“Iamaweapon,”Ivannaannouncedtothetentasmorewomentrickledin.“SoI’llpass.”
Chillsbrokeoutalongmyarmsatherdeclaration.Didshesaythatjusttogetinmyhead?Orwasshereallygoingtopassonthechancetohaveaweapon?
Thatwascrazy,butalsosomethingCyruswouldapproveofbecauseithadgotteninmyhead.
ShouldIpasstoo?Ididn’twanttolookweakformyfirstfight,especiallynotifthekingwaswatching.Afterourrun-inlastnight,Iwantedtoshowhimwhathehadbeenmissingthiswholetime.
“KingAxilisoutsiderightnow,makinghiswaytothecombatring,”Elizasaidasifreadingmymind.
IvannaandIsharedalookandthenwewerebackinalockedstare.
Icandothisallday,Ithought.
ShewasclearlylookingtoseeifEliza’scommenthadelicitedareactionfrommebutIstayedcompletelyvoidofanyfacialexpression.
Morecompetitorsfilteredintothetentandthenoneofthewolvenadvisorstothekingstrodeintothespace,wearinghislongredrobe.IvannaandIfinallybrokeourstare-downwhentheadvisorstooddirectlyinfrontofme,forcingmetolookupathim.Heheldasmallwoodenboxwithtinystonereplicasofoveradozenweapons.
“Zara,fortheQueenTrialsyouhavebeenrankedinorderofdominance.Becauseyouarenumberone,youmaypickfirstweapon.Onceyouhavechosen,youwillgototheweaponstentwheretheywillexchangethiswithyouforthelife-sizedversion.”
Myheartpoundedinmychestatthatshockingannouncement.Soitwasadominanceranking.AndI’dmadenumberone?How?Ivannawassecondincommandofherpack.DidDoriangivethemanassessmentofmeorsomething?
Whocares,Ithoughttomyself.
IknewwhatCyruswouldcounselme.IfIvanna,whowasnumbertwoandmybiggestcompetitor,wastakingnoweapon,thenIshouldpassaswell.
“Pass,”Isaidandturnedawayfromthebox.Afewwomeninthetentgaspedandtheadvisorsteppedclosertome.
“Excuseme?”
Ilookedhimdeadintheeyes.“Pass.Idon’tneedaweapon,”Itoldhim.
HeshookhimselfasifcomingoutofatranceandwalkedovertoIvanna.“IvannaRivers,secondplace.Pickyourweapon.”
Sheglancedatmeandgrinned,andIknewinthatmomentthatI’dbeenplayed.Reachingintothebox,shepulledoutatinyreplicaofanicebroadswordandtwirleditexpertlyinherfingers.
“Nicechoice,”theadvisorinformedher.
Ikeptmyfacecompletelycalm,forcedmywolfdownandbegantotwistmydarkbrownhairbetweenmyfingersinmockboredom,asifwhatshe’djustdonehadn’tbotheredmeatall.ButdeepdowninsideIwasfurious…andyetalsopraisinghergenius.She’djustgottenthenumberonepicktogointoafightwithoutaweapon.Shecouldessentiallyknockmeoutoftheracebeforeitevengotstarted.Withoutevenhavingtofightme!Iwantedtohateher,butshe’dearnedmyrespectinthatmoment.
ElizasidledupnexttomewhiletheothergirlschosetheirweaponsandtherewasapangofsadnesswhenIwasremindedthathernumberwastwenty-four.Probablythelastorsecondtolast.Citypeoplewereweak,itwaswell-known.
“Anyadvice?”shewhisperedtome.“You’resuchabadass,andI’dlovetolivethroughtoday.”
HereyesswamwithtearsandIreachedoutandslappedherhardacrosstheface.Shegaspedandherwolfsurfaced,herpupilsthreadingthroughwithyellow.
PeopleinthetentturnedtousbutIignoredthem.Instead,Igrabbedherlightlybythescruffoftheneckandpulledhereartomylips.“Keepyourwolfoutwhenfightinginhumanform.Yourhumansideistooemotionalanditwillcostyou.Fightdirty.Useeveryangleyouhave.”
Shenodded,cinnamonblondefurripplingdownthesidesofherface.
“Youknowwhoyouwillbefighting?”Iaskedherinalowvoice.
Shedippedherchin.“Numbertwenty-two.”
“No,Imeandoyouknowher?”
Sheseemedtocatchonandthennoddedagain.“MalinClearwater.BaseMountainpack.”
Itseemedlikethefightswereweightedandthey’dpitusagainstsomeoneofasimilarstrengthtous.Thatwasbothgoodandbadnewsforme.GoodbecausewhenIkilledmine,I’dbetakingoutastrongmemberandbadbecauseI’dchosennoweapon.
“Whatcanyouuseagainsther?”Iquestioned,lettinggoofherneck.“Doesshehaveanyweaknesses?Fears?Sickmother,ex-boyfriend,phobias?”
HereyeswidenedasifwhatI’djustmentionedwaspureevilbutthenshenodded.“Her…herthighbonebrokelastyearandneverfullysetrightagain.Shefavorsoneleg.And…herboyfriendcheatedonherthissummer.”
“Good.What’sthenameofthegirlhecheatedwith?”Idemand.TheadvisorwasalmosttoherandIknewhe’dbringherthecrappiestweaponbecauseitwouldbepickedlast.Asmalldaggerprobably.
“Alessia,”shemuttered,lookingstricken.
“Gointhere,askherhowAlessiaisdoingandthenkickoutherbadleg,re-breakingherthighbone,”Iinstructed.IknewIshouldn’tbegivingheranyadviceatallandCyruswouldwarnagainstit,butsomethingaboutherinnocenceandweaknesstriggeredmydominantdesiretoprotecther.
Hermouthpoppedopeninshock,herwolfretreatingashereyesreturnedtotheirnormalbluecolor.Shesaidnothinginresponse.IcouldsmellthefearonherandIhatedthatshe’devenbeenchosentocompete.Shedidn’tbelonghere
“Doyouwanttolive?”Iaskedherplainly.
Sheswallowedhardandnoddedandthenitwastoolatetospeakanylonger.Theadvisorwashereandheheldtheboxtowardsherwithtwochoices.
Asmalldaggerandathrowingknife.
Shelookedatme.
“Dagger,”Itoldherandshetookthetinyreplicaoftheblade,readytoexchangeitintheweaponstentforthelargerlife-sizedversion.
Theadvisorappraisedmeonceagain,hishazel-eyedgazesearingrightintomine.“Lastchance?”Heofferedmethethrowingknife.
IcouldfeelIvanna’sglareburningintomewithoutevenlooking.IfItookthispunyweapon,shewon.
Ishookmyheadandhesnappedtheboxshut.
“Everyonefollowme,”hestatedandwalkedoutofthetent.
Asagroupwesteppedoutintothesunlightinasinglefilelineandfollowedtheadvisor.Theentirefrontlawnofthepalacewasjam-packedwithwolvesfromallovertherealm,buttheypartedaswepassed.
“Go,MudFlatpack!”someonescreamedandIcouldn’thelpagrin.Irecognizedthevoiceasoneofmypackmates.
“WashBasinpack!”anotherchanted.
“EagleCliffpack!”Morechantsandthenhowlsandprettysoonthecrowdwasdeafening,cheeringontheirfavoritecontestantorpackmate.
Whenwereachedalargeopenareathathadbeenropedoffintoacircle,myeyessearchedforAxil.Theking.AlittlejoltofelectricityranthroughmeasIfoundhimalreadywatchingme.Hewaswearingaredsilktunic,unbuttonedatthechest.Thesunshoneonhistanskinashesatuponaraisedthronethatlookedoutoverthefightingarea.
Atthesightofhimandthefightingring,againIwaspulledintoamemoryofoursummertogether.
“AxilMoon,youareuptospar.Pickyouropponent,”CoachVarrylhadsaid.
Itwastheseconddayofcamp,andalthoughAxilandIhadspentthepreviousnightdancingandkissing,Ididn’tknowifthatwasjustaone-nightthing.AllofthestudentsstoodinaringaroundthethickfoammatswherethewrestlingmatchwasabouttobeginandAxilwalkedslowlypasteachperson.Someofthemalesgrowledathimasifbegginghimtopickthem.Ihopedhewasn’toneofthoseguyswhowouldn’tsparwithagirlbecausehewasafraidofhurtingher.IwantedhimtoknowIwasn’tdelicate.Whenhepassedme,Isteppedoutoflineandrightuptohim,tippingmychinupasiftosay,chooseme.
Thelopsidedgrinhegavemewassoenticingmylegswentweak.
“IchooseZaraSwiftwater.”
ItiedmylonghairupandhandedmyshoestoafriendbeforegoingtostandbeforeAxilonthemats.Myheartracedaswewalkedaroundeachother,sizingtheotherup.Icouldfeelthedominancecomingoffofhiminwaves.Hisgazewasdifficulttoholdfortoolong,thoughnotimpossible,andIfeltthatforhimtoreallywanttobewithme,hehadtoknowIwasstrong.
ThecoachblewhiswhistleandIchargedforward,sweepingmylegoutandpullingAxiloffhisfeet.HewentdownwithagrinandIleaptontopofhim,straddlinghiswaistasourfriendsandfellowcampgoerswentwildwithcheers.ThemomentIpositionedmyselfontopofhimhebuckedupwardwithhispelvisandgrabbedmyarms,throwingmetothesideandthenreorientinghimselfsothathewasnowontopofme.IthappenedsofastIcouldbarelytrackit.Hewassittingonmyribcage,pinningmyarmsdown,andthescreamingofexcitementarounduswasdeafening.
“It’sokaytotapout,”heteased.
“Never,”Igrowledandafirelitinhiseyes.
Buthehadunderestimatedmyflexibility.Becausehewassittingonmyribcageandnotmypelvis,Iwasabletothrowmylegsupwardandcrossmyanklesinfrontofhisneck,pullinghimbackwardsoffofme.HewentdownhardandIrolledaway,takinghimintoachokehold.Ithoughtforsurehewasgoingtotapoutbuthereachedupandpriedmyarmsawayfromhisneck.
Igrowledinfrustrationandthenheflippedover,reachingdowntopickmeup,tossingmeoverhisshoulderslikeascarf.ThecrowdwentwildasAxilwalkedovertothecoach.
“Callitoff,”hebegged.“She’smyfuturewifeandIcan’thurther.”
Allofthegirlsatcampgaveacollective‘aww’andIcouldn’thelpbutgrin.AxilwasacharmerandIwasfullyunderhisspell.
Thecoachblewhiswhistleandgaveusbothalittlechuckle.
“Younglove,”hemuttered.
NowIforcedmyselftopushawaythememoryandlookawayfromAxil,notlikingtheeffecthehadonmeandnotwantingIvannatogetwindofourpastromance.
Thegrassyfightingareawasquitelarge,bigenoughforustoshiftintoourwolfformandruncirclesaroundouropponentwithoutfeelingsquished.
Thered-tentfighterslineduparoundtheedgeoftheropeoppositeus,thenthekingstoodandclearedhisthroat.
“We’velongheldthebeliefthataqueendoesnotdeservetoservenexttoherkingunlesssheisthestrongestamongus!”heshoutedandthesurroundingwolveschantedandhowledtheiragreement.
“JustasIfoughtmywayintothisspot,myfuturequeenmustdothesame!”Hegesturedtohisbrother,whomhe’dnearlykilledtobecomeking,andagainwasmetwithexcitementfromthecrowd.Iwatchedhisbrother’sface,theclenchedjawandfistedhands,andknewhewasnotoverthedefeat.WhyAxillethimliveIwouldneverknow.Itwasrarethattwobrothersfoughtandoneforfeited.ItmademethinkAxilhadasoftspotwherehisolderbrotherwasconcerned.
Andsoftspotswereweaknesses.
“Thisfirstfightwillhelpuswhittledownthenumbersofourstrongestwarriorwomen.Althoughwedoallowallfightstoendinforfeit,itisfrownedupon—”ThecrowdbooedloudlyandAxilchuckled.
Yeah,theyallowedforfeit,butthenyourpacktoreyoutopiecesforshamingtheminsuchaway.IwouldratherperishthanyieldintheQueenTrials.ThedishonorIwouldcarrywouldkillmeifIsurvived.
“Youshouldbereadytodieforyourpeople,asIam,”Axiladdedwhenthecrowdquieted.
“Thankyou,mylord.”Oneoftheadvisorsspokeloudlyashestoodnexttothekingontheraisedplatform.
“Herearetherules!”theadvisorbellowed.“Staywithintheroped-offarea.Youmustenterthefightinyourhumanformbutmayshift.Useonlytheweaponassignedtoyou.Thefightstartswhenthebellrings.Thatisall!”
Thewolvesarounduswastednotimeinchanting,“Fight,fight,fight!”
TheleadadvisorwalkedovertoElizaandthentothewomanIassumedwasMalinandbeckonedthembothintothering.
Theywerestartingwiththeweakestfightsfirst.
IreachedoutandyankedEliza’swrist,forcinghertolookatme.“Makeitfast,elementofsurprise.”
Shegulpedandnodded.IhopedshetookwhatI’dsaidtoheart.Iknewitwascruel;Ididn’trelishexploitingsomeone’sweaknessbutifshewantedtosurvive,shewouldhavetofightdirty.
Elizaworeafancycitywarrior’sget-up,fullleatherarmorwithpaddedarmsandshoulderspaulders.Itwassomethingthatwouldtangleupifsheshiftedintoherwolfform.ElizagrippedherdaggertightlyinherhandandIcouldalreadyseefromthewaythatsheheftedtheweaponthatshewasprobablyanexpertswordswoman.AlloftheDeathMountainhighsocietywomenwere.Buttheywouldn’tlastadayoutintheoutskirts,orinarealfightwithfewtonorules.
Elizacircledtheothergirl,whoIsawnowwasholdingthesamedagger.Good,theywerewellmatched.
“HowisAlessia?”ElizaaskedMalinandthewoman’seyesbuggedwideatthementionofherex-boyfriend’slover.Shewasbeautiful,honey-blondehair,greeneyes,andrightnow,wearingaferalsnarl.
ThebelldingedandElizalungedforwardwithmorespeedthanIthoughtshe’dhave.WithherleftbootshereeledbackandcamecrashingdownonMalin’srightthighbone.AtthesametimeElizaslashedatMalin’sfacewithherdagger.
Thesoundofcrunchingbonerangthroughoutthespaceandthecrowdwentinsane.AsmallbitofpridewelledinmychestforEliza.Shewasagoodstudent;she’ddoneeverythingIhadsaid.
Malinfelltothegroundwailinginpainanddroppedtheholdonherweapon.ElizakickeditawayquicklyandIknewwhatwouldhappennext.It’swhatIwoulddo.
Yes,ourmagicallowedustoregeneratewoundsbutwecouldn’tmakemorebloodifwelostittooquickly.
ElizatookMalin’smomentofweaknessandslashedatheropponent’sthroatuntilcrimsonlifebloodleakeddownhertunic.
Malinreacheduptostaunchthewoundbutitwastoolate.
ShekeeledoverandthenthesurroundingwolvesbegantochantEliza’sname.
ItwasoneofthefastestkillsI’deverseen.
Icouldn’thelpbutgrin.IbarelyknewthisgirlandyetIwasproudofher;shehadwonherfirstfightonherhometurf.Itmustfeelgood.Shespuntome,wearingamatchingsmileandItippedmyheadtoher.
Thensheturnedtothekingandgavehimasmilewithawinkandmyprideforherdiedinmychestandslidintomystomachlikearock.JealouslyflaredtolifeinsideofmebutIpusheditaway.Ishouldn’tcare,IhatedAxil.
ThatemotionwasaweaknessthatcouldbeexploitedandIneededtoremembereverywomanherewascompetingfortheking’sheart,andtobehisbeloved.
Thenextfightplayedout,andthenthenextandthenext.Itwasgoinginorderofstrengthandgettingmorebrutalastimewentby.Iknewmybrotherandpackmateswereclosebybutitwasn’tuntilIwasnexttobecalledupthatCyrusappeared.
“Whereisyourweapon?”heasked,lookingdownatmyemptyhands.
“Longstory.”IglaredatIvannawhohadjustenteredthefightingring.
Hestoodnexttomeasthebellrangandwewatchedhertogether.ShewasmystrongestcompetitionandnowIsawwhy.Herfightingstylewasviciousandperfect.Everypunchconnectedwithamainorganorbrokeabone.Everyswipeofherswordtoreataligament.Sheevenpartial-shiftedonepawtoswipeatherrival’sfacewhichwasreallyhardtodo.Partial-shiftingwaslikeholdingyourbreathforareallylongtime.Ittookskill.
Bythetimeshekillednumberfourinrank,shehadgainedmyrespectasafighterandIknewthatifshebestedme,shewouldmakeastrongqueen.
IwastryingnottostealglancesatKingAxilbutitwashardsinceeverytimeIdid,hewasstaringbackatme.WasIjustcatchinghimstaringeverytimeorwashespendingtheentiretimelookingatme?
Surelynot.
Right?
“Okay,wehavethefinalmatchfortoday!”theadvisorannounced.“Ournumberonecompetitor,ZaraSwiftwateroftheMudFlatpack,whohaschosennottotakeaweapon—”
Thekinggrowledthen,loudly,andsomepeopleturnedtolookathim.
“Canshedothat?”Axilasked,disruptingtheadvisorandscowlingatme.
Theadvisorlookedaffrontedattheinterruption.“Ofcourseshecan,mylord.”
CharcoalblackfurrippleddownAxil’sneckandIfrowned.
WhattheHadesdidhecare?IknewheandhisbrotherwouldratherIdiedquicklysotheydidn’tneedtoworryaboutmypollutingtheirbloodlinewithmud.AsAnselhadsoaptlysaidfiveyearsagowhenhewasking.
“Andournumberthreecompetitor,ArinMoonlightofWashBasinpack,fightingwiththelongsword!”
CheersandclappingrangoutthroughthespaceandIgrinnedasIsteppedintothering.
ArinwasthesamewomanwhohadtoldmeIstanklastnightandI’dknockedherout.
“Didyouhaveanicefloornaplastnight?”Iaskedher.
Shesnarled,baringallherteethandholdingherswordaloft.
IcouldfeelAxil’sgazeonmebutforcedmyselftopushhimfrommymind.
ThebellrangandinsteadofexplodingforwardlikeIusuallywould,tocatchheroffguard,Iranbackwardsallthewaytotheedgeoftherope.
Shefrowned,asifconfusedbymybehavior.
Ihadnoweapon,shehadathree-footsword.Iwasn’tstupid.RushingherwouldgetmestabbedandalthoughIwouldeventuallyheal,itwouldtaketime.Ihadnoideaifthenextfightwasinanhour,ortomorrowmorning,sokeepingmygutsinmystomachwastoppriority.
IkeptmyhandsbehindmybackandhaddecidedthatsinceIvannahadshowedoffwithherpartialshift,Iwouldaswell.
InthetimethatIhadrunbackwardsandconfusedher,causinghertoadvancetowardsme,I’dalreadyshiftedbothofmyhandsintogiant,razor-sharppaws.IttookincredibleskilltoholdontoashiftlikethisandIwouldbepartiallydistractedinordertokeeptherestofmybodyfromtakingmywolfformaswell.TodoafullshiftwouldputmeinavulnerablespaceandshewouldprobablycutmyheadoffbeforeIwasonallfours.
“Comeon,youcoward!”Arincamedownandacrosswithhersword,goingrightformyneck.Whenthebladewasafewinchesfrommybody,Iswipedoutwithapawandcrashedintothesideofthesword.Theforceoftheblowwasfargreaterthanmyhumanformcouldmusterandtoomuchforhergrip.Theweaponclatteredtothegroundandsheletloosewithabattlecryasshelungedforme.Bothofherhandswrappedaroundmythroatasshetriedtoyankmetothegroundinafitofanger.
Shewastooemotional,allangerandnocalculatedskill.Reachingoutwithmypaw,Iswipedatthesideofherface,takingastripoffleshwithit.Herfingersreleasedfrommyneckasherwailofpaintorethroughthespaceandshestumbledbackwards.Shiftingmypawsbacktohands,Ireacheddownandpickedupherfallensword.
BythetimesherealizedwhatI’ddone,I’dalreadyslammedthesharpendintoherheart.
ThecrowdroaredtheirapprovalandasIlookedatherdeadbody,IthoughtIwouldfeelpride…butIdidn’t.Instead,Ifeltslightlyashamed.Iknewitwasourcustomandfightingforpackdominancehadalwaysbeentheway,buttoshamewomenforforfeitingtokeeptheirlifewasamistake.Arindidn’thavetobelyingdeadattheendofmyblade,shecouldhavetakenakneeifshehadknowntherewasnoshameinthat,andthatherpackwouldletherlive.IlookedintotheblankstareofArin’sdeadeyesandIrealizedIwasfightingforamanIdidn’tevenwantanymore,andacrownIwasn’tsureIwasworthytowear.
Itfeltwrong.
Mybrotherleaptintotheringandliftedmeintotheairinpraise,snappingmefrommystuporandIlookedoverattheking.
Gonewashisearlieranger,insteadAxilwasstaringatmewithcompassion.Likehe’dseensomethingonmyfacethattoldhimIwasn’tfeelingsogreataboutthingsrightnow.
“Putmedown,”Igrowledtomybigbrother.Cyrusstiffenedbeneathmeanddroppedmeasthecrowdwentwild.
Iturnedfromhimsuddenlyandranoutofthering,pushingpastthecrowdsofpeopleuntiltheythinnedandthenIwaswalkingamongthehundredsoftents.
WhywasIhere?WhytheHadesdidIsignupforthis?WasittoseeAxilagainandprovetohimIwaseverythingheneededandthathenevershouldhaveleftmeallthoseyearsago?Orwasitreallytobringpridetomypack?WasIkillingotherwomenjusttogetmyrevengeonAxilMoon?
Feelingconfused,Ijustkeptwalking,wantingtoblowoffsomeoftheadrenalinefromthefight.MywalkturnedintoajogandbeforeIknewit,Iwasfull-onsprinting.Ilovedtorun.Human,orwolfform,itdidn’tmatter.Thewindwasinmyhair,mymusclescryingforreleaseandmybreathheaving.Ineededthis.IblastedpastthemeleeofthecrowdsandwhenIhitthecastle,Iturnedrightandwentaroundittoseewhatwasbehind.Iwasrewardedwithathickforestthatstretchedoutforacouplehundredfeetbeforegoingoffasharpcliffdownthemountain.
MylegsburnedinthegoodwayonlyaheavyworkoutcouldbringasIhitthetreelineandkeptgoing.Dodgingtreesandheavybrush,Iranrightuptotheedgeofthemountainandstopped.
MychestheavedasIpeeredoverthecliffbelowandthenIheardatwigsnapbehindme.
Ispun,throwingmyarmsupasIreadiedmyselfforasneakattackfromIvanna.Takeoutthecompetitionbeforeyouevenhadtofightthem.It’swhatIwoulddo.
ButwhenIsawAxilstalkingtowardsme,myarmsdroppedandmymouthpoppedopenalittleinsurprise.
“Iwasn’tfleeing.Ijustneededsometimealone,”ItoldhimincasehethoughtImightberunningfrommyobligation.Becausethat’swhatthiswas,anobligation.IfDorianhadn’tsentme,we’dhavehadtochooseareplacement.Eachpacksentonefemalenomatterhowweaktheywere.LikeEliza.Thesweetgirlwhowassounpreparedthatshewasaskingfellowcontestantsforadviceonhowtokeepherlife.Itmademesick.
Hedidn’tstopwalking,andIswallowedhardwhenhegotwithintwofeetofmebeforeslowing.
Iheldmybreathashesteppedrightuptome,toetotoeandstaredmedown.HisnostrilsflaredandIhadtosuppressamoan.Hesmelledlikedominanceandbadchoices,likefifteen-year-oldAxil.ThememoryofkissinghimwasburnedonmytongueandIsuddenlywonderedifhetastedthesame.
“Youdidn’ttakeaweapon?Irememberyoubeingsmarterthanthat,Zara,”hegrowledandthatangerwasbackinhisgaze.
Iplacedonehandonmyhip.“I’msurprisedyouremembermeatallwithhoweasilyyouleftme,”Isnappedback,thoughIwasn’tsureitwastrue.Oneofthethingshe’dsaidtomewasthathewouldneverforgetasinglefreckleonmyskin.He’dtracedthemnightlyunderthestarsallsummer.
“I…”Hisfacefell.“Zara,leavingyou—”
“Idon’twanttotalkaboutthat.Thepastisthepast.”Ipursedmylips.
Helookeddownathishandsforasecondandthenbackupatme.“Look…Zara,I’vebeenthinking,youcouldbreakyourleg.SayithappenedhikingandIwouldexcuseyoufromtomorrow’strial.Doriancouldsendareplacement.”
Myglarenarrowedasragebuiltupinsideofme.“Areyouthatafraidofmewinningandbeingstuckwithmetherestofyourlife?”Myheadtippedbackasgenuinelaughtereruptedfrommythroat.
WhenIlookedbackathim,hisangerwascompletelygoneandhiseyeswereonmylips.
“Damn,Iforgothowsexyyourlaughwas.”
HiswordsknockedtheairfrommylungsandIfrozeasheleanedforwardandagainstmyneck,inhalingdeeply.
“ButIrememberedhowgoodyousmelled.”Hisvoicewastenoctavesdeeper.
Mymindwasscramblingtofigureoutwhatwasgoingonwhenhisfingerscameuptobrushacrossmylips.ThewhimperI’dbeenholdinginreleasedthenandhepulledbacktolookatme.
“AndforaslongasIlive,Iwillneverforgethowyoukiss,ZaraSwiftwater,”hestatedandmylegsnearlycollapsedbeneathme.“AndIdreamofbeingstuckwithyouforever,Idon’tfearit.”
Therewerenowordsforthismoment.Ididn’thaveanythingtosaysoIjuststaredathim.Whywashemutteringalloftheseincrediblyromanticthingstome?Heleftmeatthesummercampafterhisbrotherremindedhimofhisdutiestothethrone.IwasMudFlatstrash,notgoodenoughforhim.
ThememoryofhowthatallwentdownroseupinsideofmeandItookonestepclosertohimsothatmybodywaspressedflushagainsthis.Mybreastsslammedintohischestandhiseyeswidenedslightly.
“AxilMoon,IpraythatyourememberhowIkiss,fortherestofyourlife.”Ileanedinanddraggedmylipslightlyacrosshis,delightedtohearthemoanofpleasureescapehim.ThenIpulledbackandmethisgaze.“Becauseyouwillnevertastethismouthagain.Iwillwinthetrials,becomeyourwife,andleaveyoutoanemptybeduntilmydyingday.”
Withasnarlofanger,Ipulledawayandsidesteppedhim,walkingquicklybackthroughthewoodsthewayIcame.
IthoughtIheardthesoundofsnappingbonesandwhenIreachedtheopengrassyknollbehindthecastle,atorturedhowlroseupacrosstheforestbehindme
Whateverhewasfeelingnowwasanounceofwhatmyfifteen-year-oldselfhadfeltwhenherejectedme.
Now,morethanever,Iwasmotivatedtowinthiscompetition.IfnothingmorethantoseethelookonAxil’sfacewhenIslammedthebedroomdoorshutonhimonourweddingnight.Ididn’tcarewhoIwouldhavetokilltogetmyrevenge.Thiswasourway,andI’dbeenstupidtoquestionsuchtraditions.FOUR
ThenextmorningIhurriedlywashedupattheoutdoorcommunalbathhouseandthenputonfreshclothes.Cyrussaidthathe’dgottendrunkwithoneoftheking’sadvisorslastnightandthattheyhadletslipthatthenexttrialwasoneIwaswellsuitedfor,livingintheMudFlats,butImighthavetogohungryforafewdays.Goingwithoutmealsdidn’tworryme,unlessofcourseIwasweakenedandthencalledintoafight,whichwasprobablygoingtohappen.Theyweretestingourstrength.SoinsteadofthelightbreakfastInormallyate,IscarfedmeatandfreshfruitsuntilIwassickeninglyfull.
WhenIarrivedatthebluechampiontent,ithitmethattherewereonlytwelveofusleft.
Howquicklywe’dbeenculledinhalfshockedmebutIgotoveritquicklywhenIvannagavemeagrin.
Shewasnodoubtstillbaskinginherabilitytohavemademetakenoweaponintomyfightyesterday.
Iwalkedrightuptoherandlookedherintheeyes.“Istillwon,”Iremindedher.
Hergazenarrowedbutshesaidnothing.
“Hellochampions!”afamiliarvoicecalledbehindmeandIturnedtoseethesamemaleadvisorfromyesterday.Hewasholdingalargecanvassackandhelditouttous.Elizaslippedintothelargetentlast,lookingsleepyandpossiblylikeshe’dbeenupallnightcrying.Iwonderedwhetheryesterdaywasherfirstkillandhowshewastakingit.
“Placeanyweaponsorpersonalitems,otherthanclothingthatyouhaveon,inhere.”Heshookthebag.
Wealllookedateachotherinconfusion.
“Youwillbesearched,”headdedandthatgotusmoving.
Ireacheddownintomybootandpulledoutmysmallknife.Ivannadidthesameandsomeoftheotherstoo.
Elizatookafancyjeweledhairclipfromherblondetressesandhelditup.“WillIgetitback?”sheaskedandIrolledmyeyes.
Thisgirlwasbeggingtodie.
“Ofcourse,”hesaidasshedroppeditwarilyinthebag.Hecincheditshutandthentosseditontothegroundinthecornerofthetent.“Forthenexttrialyouwillbeblindfoldedanddroppedoffatanunknownlocation.”
Afewgaspscausedhimtonod.“Youmustmakeyourwaybackheretobasecamp,livingoffthelandtokeepyoualive.Aqueenofthewolvenneedstobeabletoliveofftheland.”
MyattentionimmediatelywenttoElizaandIwatchedastheblooddrainedfromherfaceandsheswayedalittleonherfeet.Thiswasn’tanormalQueenTrialschallenge.AtleastnotinanyoftheonesI’dheardabout.
Thiswasit.Thiswashowshedied.Wet,cold,andwithnofoodinherbellyasagiantcougarinsplitopenhergutwhilesheslept.Isighedwhenshelookedatmeinterror.
Don’tmakefriends.
Mybrother’swordsbouncedaroundmyskullandItoremyattentionawayfromher.
Twowolvenguardsenteredthetentthenandpattedusdownforhiddenluxuriesthatmightmakeourwildernesssurvivalanyeasier.Theytookmyleatherstrapbeltwhichonlycausedmetorollmyeyes.IcouldgointothechallengenakedandstillfarebetterthanElizaandmostoftheothers.
IvannawasfromCrestlinepackandIknewshewouldhaveknowledgeofhowtosurvivetheelements.Olesatoo.I’dmetheryesterdayandcometofindoutshewasfromUpperRimpack.ItwasbetterweatherthanCrestline,buttheyweren’tasmodernizedastheotherpacks.
Everyoneelsewasscrewed.Theotherninegirlswerefromcitiesorvillagesthatwereextremelyspoiled,withmarketstallstobuytheirfoodfrom.Icouldguaranteenoneofthemhadsomuchaspickedapieceoffruitfromatreetheirentirelife.Orskinnedabearin.
Whenwewerecompletelystrippedofanythingofuse,wewerecalledoutofthetent.Thecrowdcheeredwildlyatthesightofusandwemadeourwaytoasetofthreewolfsleds.Mygazeflickedaroundthecrowduntiltheylandedonmybrother.
Findwaterfirst,hehandsigned.
Inodded.
Makealliances.Assassinationspossible,headdedandmystomachdropped.
Ofcourse.IvannacouldcutmythroatinmysleepandsayIdiedofabearinattack.
InoddedagaintoindicateIunderstoodhim.
ReliefspreadthroughmychestasIrealizedIwouldbeabletohelpElizawithoutfeelinglikeIwasbetrayingmybrother’scommandnottomakefriends.Isnakedmyarmoutandgraspedherhand,pullinghernexttome.
ShelookedterrifiedandwhenIdrewhertome,shepeeredatmeexpectantly.
IhungbackwithherafewpacesasalltheotherswalkedaheadofusandIwassuretheroaringcrowdwastooloudforanyonetohear.
“Doyouwanttohaveanalliance?IcanhelpyousurvivetheelementsifyoutakewatchwhileIsleep.Wecanrestinshifts,”Isaidquickly.
Reliefwashedoverherfaceandshesqueezedmyhand.“Yes.Ididn’twanttodieonmybirthday.”
Istilled.“Todayisyourbirthday?”
Shenoddedshyly.
Asicklyfeelingwashedovermethen.Sheshouldn’tbehere.Whywassheevenputforwardforthisfight?Shewastoosweet.Dominantyes,buttoolovingandinnocentandallthecrapyouneededtonotbeinordertosurvivethesetrials.
“Well,thisistheshittiestbirthdaypartyI’veeverbeento,”Icommentedandshebarkedoutinlaughter,whichmadeherlooklikeayoungteenagegirl.
“Thanks.Ineededthat.”
Iinclinedmyheadandwecarriedon,followingtheothersontothebacksofthesleds.Atroupeofguardssteppedovertousandthekingwasamongthem.Theyallheldthickstripsofclothtobindoureyes.TheguardsapproachedeachwomanandIsteeledmyselfwhenthekingapproachedme.
Reachingup,hecoveredmyeyeswiththeblindfoldandhisarmsrestedonthesidesofmyneck.
‘Youwillbegoingnorth.’Axil’sdeepvoiceinfiltratedmymindandIgaspedslightly.Ofcourse.Hewaskingnowandassuchhadallofthepowersofthekingwolven.Mentalcommunicationinhumanformwhiletouchingskinwasoneofthem.
‘Youwillbedeepinthedeadlandswithnotreesorbushesforshelter.Nosmallgameorberriesforfood.Theonlywateryouwillfindisinsideoftheroundbulbousplantthatlooksdeadbutisnot.’
Whoa.What?
‘Whyareyoutellingmethis?’Isentthementalmessagetohimandhopeditwasreceived.
Ifelthisfingerstrailagainstmyneckthen,verybrieflyasheslowlypulledawayfromme.‘Becausethethoughtofyounotcomingbackmakesmeforgethowtobreathe.’
Hewasgonethen,hisfootstepsretreatingwiththeothersoldiers.
Iwasangryinthatmoment.AxilMoonwasbreakingtherulestohelpmeanditwasn’tfairtotheothers.Notonlythat,buthewasactinglikehewantedmetowinthisthingandthatreallyinfuriatedme.Hehadhischancewithmewhenwewerefifteen.Hehadsaidnoanddughisgrave,sonowIwasgoingtomakehimlieinit.
ThesledlurchedforwardandIreachedoutandgraspedontothehandleasElizayelpedbesideme.ColdhardwindslappedatmyfaceandarmsforhoursandIcouldn’tgetwhatAxiljustdidoutofmyhead.HegavemeinsideinformationbecausehethoughtIwastooweaktowinthisonalevelplayingfield?Thatwasn’tfair!Anditpissedmeoff.Don’tspeaktomeforfiveyearsandthensummonmetofightasyourwife,thentellmeyouregrettedinvitingmeandthengivemeinformationtohelpmewin?Thismanwasamess!Whatwashethinking?
Werodeallmorning,allafternoonandintotheearlyevening.Thefrigidchillintheairturnedtoawarmththatwasonlypossibleinthedeadlands.ThedeadlandsspannedalargepartofourterritoryandbackeduptotheNightfallborderandthecoastofthesea.Itwasaweirdcornerofourrealmthatgotablastofwarmseaairandharshsunlightsonothinggrewouthere.
Thedeadlandsranforhundredsofmiles,soevenknowingwhereweweretoldmenothing.Butknowingwe’dgonenorthinsidethedeadlandstoldmeIhadtogosouthtogetbacktoDeathMountain.Istewedovertheunfairnessofthekingtellingmeallofthisinformationuntilthesledsfinallystopped.
“Getoff!”aguardsnappedandIbackedupoffofthesled.“Don’tmove!”heorderedandthenIheardaloudthump,likeabodyfallingontothefloor.
“Whatwasthat?”someoneaskedandthenanotherthump.
Thump.Thump.Thump.OneaftertheotherIheardthesoundofmyfellowcompetitorsbeingdisarmedandallIcoulddowasbracemyself.
AcoldragcameovermymouthandIdidn’tevenfightit.Ibreathedinahugelungfulofapleasantsmellingaromaaswoozinesswashedovermeandtheneverythingwentblack.
Thump.
***
“Don’ttouchher!”ElizasnarledandIsatboltupright,justintimetoseeIvannastalkingtowardsmewithasharpenedrockinherhand.Dizzinesswashedovermeastheeffectsofwhateverdrugtheyhadusedfledfrommysystem.Elizawascrouchedinfrontofme,andthesoundofsnappingbonesfilledtheopenair.Shewasshiftingtoprotectmeandhonorouralliance.Hadshenot,Imightalreadybedead.
NowthatIvannasawIwasawakeshefalteredandIstood,alittleunsteady,butfistedmyhandsreadytofight.
Therewerehalfadozengirlsstillpassedoutonthegroundandthreemorewereoffinthedistance,scatteredandrunningindifferentdirections.Itwasbrightout,morningbythepositionofthesun.We’dsleptallnight.
Itwasamiraclenothinghadeatenus;thedeadlandswereknownforbeingfullofbearin.
Muffledmoansandgroansbegantoringoutastheotherwomenwokeup.IvannaandIwerelockedinastareandIgrinnedmaniacally.“Wecandothisnowifyouwant,”Itoldher,cockingmyheadtotheside.
IwouldenjoykillingIvanna:shehadnohonorifshewasgoingtobludgeonmewitharockwhileunconscious.She’dlostanyrespectshehadgainedfromme.
ElizahadfullyshiftedintoherwolfformnowandIwassurprisedathowbigshewas.Shestoodagoodheadtallerthanmywolfandlookedthickertoo.HerlipspeeledbackintoasnarlasshegrowledatIvanna.
“Butyoumighthavetroublefightingusboth.”Ismiled.
Ivannaswallowedhard,droppingtherockandputtingherhandsupinaplayfulgesture.Nowthatalloftheothergirlswereawakeandlookingaroundatthevastopenland,Ididn’tfeelrightabouthavingtheknowledgeAxilhadgivenmeandkeepingittomyself.
“Mybrothergotdrunklastnightwithsomeonewhogavehiminsideinformation,”Itoldthemall.“Theytookusnorth,intothedeadlands.Nofoodwillbefoundandtheonlywatercomesfromabulbousplantthatlooksdead.”Wasthateverything?Icouldn’tremember.
“Whyareyoutellingus?”onegirlasked,standingunsteadily.
Ishrugged.“Iwanttowinonanevenplayingfield.”
“Shecouldbelying,”Ivannamused,herdarkhairslickedintoanicebun,assheglaredatme.“Herbrotherisamasteratmentalmanipulation.Thiscouldbeatricktogetustoheadsouthandnotwastetimelookingforfood.”
Irolledmyeyes.“Suityourselves.”Reachingdown,IgrabbedtheclothesElizahaddroppedbeforeshiftingandpickedthemup.Shemightneedthemlater.ThenItappedonhershoulderandstartedabriskwalkingpacetothesouth.Iwouldbetmyluckyhuntingknifenoneofthecitygirlsknewwhichwaysouthwas.Theycouldprobablysmelltheirhomeinwolfformifwe’donlytraveledforanhourortwoout,butatmyestimationwe’dtrekkedtwelvehoursonabrisklypacedwolfsledwhichmeantwewereprobablytwodaysfrommakingithomeonfootIfwedidn’tgetlost.Thelackoffoodwouldslowourpaceandifwedidn’tfindwateritwouldaffectourstaminaaswell.Theotherthreegirlswho’dgoneoffinalldirectionswouldbestuckouthereforaweekandeventuallysuccumbtotheelements.
Elizastayedinherwolfform,whichIactuallythoughtwassmart.“You’reareallybigwolf.Youshoulddoalltherestofyourfightsinwolfformifyoucanmanagetoshiftfastenough.”NowIsawwhyhernamehadbeenthrownintotheringfortopcontender.Shewasasbigasthemalewolveswhichwasahugeadvantagewhenfightingasmallerfemale.
Shelookedupatmeandgavemeawolfishgrin,appearingtolikemycompliment.
“Andthanksforhavingmybackjustnow.Ioweyouone,”Iaddedasshehappilytrottedbesideme.
Ipeeredbehindmetoseethatthegirlshadgatheredintoalittlegroupandseemedtobearguingaboutsomething.Probablywhetherornottobelievemyadvice.Thatwasn’tmyproblem.ItoldthemwhatIknewandprettysoontheywouldrealizeit.
“Weneedtofindwater.Letmeknowifyouseeanyplants,eveniftheylookdriedupanddead,”ItoldEliza.
Sheimmediatelyputhersnouttothegroundandtookofftenpacesaheadofmetothesouth,sniffingthedirtlikeatrackerwolf.
WewouldneedtopaceourreturntoDeathMountainandbecauseofthedensefoginthedistance,Icouldn’tseeanythingbeyondafewmiles.Wecouldgowithoutfoodbutneededwater.
Afterwalkingforanhour,Iturnedaroundandsawfourblobsinthedistancebehindme,followingmytrail.ItseemedatleastfourofthegirlshadbelievedwhatI’dtoldthem.Theotherswouldbedeadiftheydidn’tfigureitoutsoon.Icouldn’ttellifoneoftheblobswasIvanna.
Eliza’swolfyippedinhigh-pitchedexcitementandIspunbacktofaceher.Thereonthegroundbetweenthecracksofearthanddeaddrybrushwerestrandsofalongdeadplantthathadlittleballsattachedtothevine.Itremindedmeofseakelp.
ExhilarationthrummedthroughmeasIcrouchedcloser.TheplantwascoveredinawhitepowderwhichmadeitappeartohavenosignsoflifebutwhenIpickeditup,Igrinned.Itwasheavyandthewhitepowderwascomingoffonmyfingers,revealingadarkgreenhealthybulbousfruit-likeplantbeneath.
Squeezingoneofthebulbsbetweenmyfingers,Ilaughedwhenfreshclearwatersquirtedout.
ElizaturnedinacircleasifchasinghertailandIscoopedupagiantsix-footstringoftheplantandrippeditfromtheground,puttingitaroundthebackofmynecktotravelwithlikeascarf.
Elizawhimperedandlookedupatme.
Ishookmyhead.“Wedon’tneeditjustyet.Let’srationincasewedon’tfindanymore.”
Iwasthirstytoobutnotdesperatelyso.
Citywolves.Ishookmyhead.
Afterafewmorehoursofwalking,we’ddiscoveredtenmorevines.Iwasnoweasilypoppingthebulbsintomymouthafterbrushingoffthetastelesspowderandsuckingdownthecoolliquid.Therootsmusthaverunreallydeepintoanundergroundwaterreservoirbecausetheywerefulloffreshwater.IgaveEliza’swolfplentyaswellandwehadmorethanenoughforthewalkoutofherestoredaroundmyneckinheavyhangingvines.
Icouldn’thelpbutthinkwherewewouldbeifAxilhadnottoldmeaboutthem…hisblueeyes,thethingshe’dsaidtomeoverthepasttwodays.Theyswirledaroundmyhead,leavingmeinawaveofconfusion.
Wewalkedsouthatadecentpaceuntilthesunstartedtolowerintheskyandmylegsfeltlikemushandmybodycravedrest.Awolvenshiftercouldgowithoutfoodforaboutsevendaysbutitcostusalotofenergy.EspeciallyifwewereshiftingformslikeElizahad.Iknewbythewayshewaswalking,herbacklegsgivingout,thatsheneededrest.
“We’llcampheretonight.”Ipointedtoacroppingofthreedeadbushesthatwouldgiveuszeroprotectionagainstpredatorsortheelements.Itwasjustaneasyspottopointto.Shewalkedovertothedriedbushesandcollapsedinfrontofthempantingandthenlookedatmeasifawaitingthenextinstruction.
“Youcansleepfirst.I’llwakeyouinafewhoursformyturn,”Itoldher.
Atthatdeclarationherheaddroppedontothedrymudandsheclosedhereyes.Shewasout.
Ipeeredatthegroundaroundourlittlecampbeforethesunwastotallyblottedfromtheskyandfoundafewsmoothrocksandalargestick.Uselessasweaponsifwewereattacked.
Ididn’twanttoshiftintomywolfformandconsumetheenergy,especiallywithoutfood,whichwaswhyElizawasstayingawolf.She’dalreadydoneitonceandtogobackandforthwouldkillherofstarvationquicker.Webothknewthatwithoutevensayingit.
IwasconfidentAxilhadn’tliedtomeandIwassureweweregoingsouth.WhatIquestionedwaswhetherwewouldgetlostorslowdownsomuchthatittookuslongertoreachDeathMountainthanIhadanticipated.
MymindwarredwithmyinstinctasItriedtodothemathonwhenIlastate.Wehadspenttwelvehourstravelinghereonthewolfsled,andthentwelvehoursknockedout.Thenanothertwelvehourswalkingtoday.YesterdaymorningwithCyruswasmylastmeal.Soalmosttwodays.
IfIshiftedintomywolfformtokeepussafefrompredatorsovernight,thewalktomorrowwouldbeslowerbecauseImighthavetoshiftbacktohumanformtocarrythelongandheavywaterbulbs.Drapingthemovermywolf’sbackmightonlycausethemtofalloffasIwalkedonallfoursandhadnoboxyshoulderstokeepthemon.
Ahowlroseupinthedistanceandmyinstinctwon.Pushingthewastedenergyandthefuturelackoffoodfrommymind,Istrippeddownquicklyandfellontoallfoursasmybodywelcomedthechange.Somewolvesdidn’tlikebeingintheiranimalformmorethanafewhours,otherscouldgodayswithoutchangingshape.
Iwasthelatter,mostdominantswere.Ilovedbeinginmypowerfulwolvenform.AndifIshiftednow,I’dprobablyhavetoremainthiswayorImightnothavetheenergytoshiftbacktohuman.
Itdidn’tmatterwhatmymindthought,though,asI’dalreadystartedthechange.Musclesstrained,bonesbrokeandIbreathedthroughthepain.
Elizaliftedherheadtolookatmesleepily,probablyawokenbythenoisebutthendroppedbackdownwhensherealizedIwasjustdoingthisasaprecautionandweweren’tunderimminentthreat.
Oncemyshiftwascomplete,Ifeltsomuchbetter.Ifathreatweretoposeitselfsomewhereinthenight,Iwouldbereadytofenditoff.
IwastiredbutIdidn’twanttofallasleep,soIstayedstanding.EveryhalfhourorsoItookasmalllooparoundsleepingElizatokeepmybloodpumpingandforcemyselftostayawakeandalert.IwasboredandsoIallowedmymindtowandertothetimeI’dfirstmetAxil.
IneverworedressesbutmyfriendMaxinehadconvincedmetowearonetotheskillscampregistrationday.Itwasmostlyameetandgreetwiththeotherdominants.ThedressI’dwornwaswhitewithsmallpinkflowersembroideredonit.WaytoogirlyformyusualstyleandyetI’dfeltbeautifulinit.AlotofteenagerswenttothesummerskillscampinEagleCliffterritorytohookupandIhadhopedtofindaboywithwhomIcouldsharemyfirstkiss,butI’dhadnoideaIwouldmeettheloveofmylife.
Iwasfifteen,dominantandincrediblynaive.
Afterregistration,I’dmademywaytothefoodtent.Therewasafullbandsetupandasthesunsetonthefirstnight,IwasdancingmyheartoutwithMaxine.MyarmswereupintheairasIthrewmyhipssidetosideandlaughedwithacarefreejoyIhadn’thadsincemyparentsdied.
That’swhenAxilmadehismove.
Thefirstthingthatattractedmetohimwashisconfidence.MostdominantmenhadanannoyinglevelofconfidencebutAxil’swastemperedwithsomethingelse.SomethingIcouldn’tputmyfingeronatthetime.
Respect.Herespectedmeevenbeforehe’dtouchedmyhipsandsteppedinfrontofme,lookingdownatmewiththosepiercingblueeyes.
“Dancewithme.”ItwasmoreofacommandthanaquestionbutIknewIcouldsaynoifI’dwanted.HewasthemosthandsomeboyI’deverseen,soInoddedandthrewmyarmsaroundhisneck.
That’swhenheleanedforwardandsmelledme.Hisnosewenttomyhairandhemoaned.I’dnevermetsuchaforwardboyinmylife!Thesethingswerenotdoneatafirstmeetinginmypack,butwithhim…itfeltright.
“WhatdoIsmelllike?”Iaskedhimwithalltheinnocenceofmyfifteen-year-oldself.
HepulledbackandsaidsomethingI’dneverforgotten.Somethingthatstillplaguedmetoday.
“Myfuturewife.”Hegrinned.
Inthatmoment,I’dfalleninstantlyinlovewithhim.Apuppylovewithnodepthbutitwaslovejustthesame.Firstlove.Thereckless,carelesskindthatyoujumpintowithoutmuchthoughtorfearofconsequence.
Iwasthefirsttokisshim.RightthereonthedancefloorafterhetoldmeIsmelledlikehisfuturewife.Icapturedhismouthinmineandourtonguesdanced.Wealternatedbetweenkissinganddancingforhoursuntilthecamporganizersfinallytoldustoheadbacktoourtents.
Thecampwasatwo-monthlongeventandAxilmademepromisetomeethimthenextday.
Idid.Andwe’dfallendeeper.Afterourclasseshetookmetotheriverandwewentfishingandtalkeduntilthesunwentdown.Itoldhimallaboutmychildhoodandhesharedsomethingsbutneveraboutbeingaprince.
Onthefifthweekofthecamp,hebraidedsomestringtogetherandslippeditovermyringfinger.Hepromisedtoonedaymakemehiswife.HesaidthathehadtogobacktoDeathMountainanddealwithfamilybusinessbutwhenhewasaman,hewouldsendforme.Doriandidn’tallowustogetmarrieduntilwewereseventeenattheyoungestanyway,soIknewIwouldhavetobidemytimetogetmyalpha’spermission.
Inoddedenthusiastically.Iwouldhaveagreedtoanything,Iwasheadoverheelsinlovewithhim.Webothplannedtomeetatthenextskillscampthefollowingyearandthenwespenttherestofthenightdancing.
Wesnuckawayfromourpacktentsthatnightandmetonablanketunderthestars.Wedidn’thavesex,wejustwantedtofallasleepnexttoeachother.Wedidthisforthelasttwoweeksofcamp,sneakingoutofourtentsandfallingasleeptogetherunderthestars.Andthat’showhisolderbrotherAnsel,thekingatthetime,foundusthenextmorning.
Nauseaandangerroiledthroughmeasthepainfulsceneflashedthroughmymind.ThewayhisbrothertalkedaboutmelikeIwastrash.ThewayAxilsaidnothingtodefendme.Howhe’dcoweredtohisbrotherandwalkedawaywithoutevenlookingatme.ItmademesickandthenIneversawhimagain.
Iwenttothenextskillscampatsixteen,fullyplanningondancingwithanotherguytomakeAxiljealous,buthenevershowed.
ThatbastardbrokemyinnocentlittleheartintoathousandpiecesandI’dneverlovedsince.I’dhadtwoboyfriends,butsaweachofthemassomeonetowarmthebed,notapersonIcouldenvisionalifewith.Myheartfeltrawforfiveyearsandneverhealedenoughtoletanyoneinagain.
NowhereIwas,fightingtobeAxil’swife.Theironywasnotlostonme.
ElizarustlednexttomethenandIpulledmyselffrommythoughts.Shestood,shakingherselfandthenindicatedwithherheadthatIshouldliedown.
Ifwewerepackmateswe’dbeabletospeakintoeachother’sminds,butweweren’t,sowe’dhavetomakedowithheadgestures.
Inoddedandwalkedovertothewarmspotshe’dbeenlyingin,ploppingdownimmediately.
WhenIsawthatshewasfullyawakeandwalkingaroundandwasn’tlikelytobesurprisedinanambush,Iclosedmyeyesandtriedtopushthoughtsoffifteen-year-oldAxilfrommymind.Ihadn’tallowedmyselftothinkabouthimsodeeplyinyears.Goingbacktothosememorieshurt,andIrealizedthatnotgettingclosure,notbeingabletotellhimhowhehurtmewaswhatkilledme.I’dfeltboundandgagged,unabletosharemysideofit.SleeppulledatmylimbsandIpushedAxilfrommymindbutthosepiercingblueeyeskeptcomingbacktome.
Myfuturewife.
DidhehaveanyideathatIwouldactuallybeintherunningonedayforsuchathing?No.Howcouldhe?Withadeepsigh,IloweredmyheadandthenIwasout.FIVE
Thesoundofdeepgrowlingpulledmefrommyslumber.Iwassotired.Icouldn’thavebeenasleepmorethananhourgivenhowgroggymybodyfelt.Iblinkedrapidly,poppingupontoallfourpawsandlookedaround.
Ohno.
Eliza’shackleswereupasshecrouchedinfrontofmeandfacedtheoncomingpackofwolven.Fourofthem.
ItmustbeIvannaandhernewcrew.Iwassuddenlyoverlyalert,bloodpumpingthroughmyveinsasallsleepinessfledfrommysystem.Isteppedforward,nexttoElizaandpeeredoverather.
ShelookedscaredandIknewwhy.Fightingapackoffourwolveswhenyoucouldn’tcommunicatewasadeathsentence.
Ifonlyshewerepack.
AwildideahitmethenandbeforeIhadtimetooverthinkit,Ilungedforwardandbitintoherhindleglightly,justenoughtodrawblood.
Sheyelpedandtriedtojerkawayfromme.
‘Iclaimyou,ElizaGreen,forMudFlatpack,’Isaidinmymindandthenreleasedher,bitingmyownlegnext.Thesecondourbloodmixedinmymouth,IpulledupeveryounceofdominantpowerIpossessed.Iwasn’tanalpha,butIcouldbeonedayifIwantedto.Dorianwastrainingmeassuchandhe’dshownmehowtoclaimawolf.NormallyitwasapoweronlyanalphaorsecondincommandpossessedbutIwashopingthatIhadenoughmagictopullthisoffandthatDorianwouldn’tmindmedoingso.
Abluedustingoflightfellovermyfur,flickeringlikefireflies,andthenElizalookedupatmewide-eyed.
‘Didyoujustclaimme?’sheshriekedintomymind.
Itworked!
‘Yes.Incoming.’Ibarelyhadtimetocommunicatebeforethewolveswereuponus.Theyspreadoutinacircle,surroundingusandnowthattheywerecloser,IcouldsmellwhichoneIvannawas.Amedium-sizedblackandgraywolf.
‘Weattacktogether.Takingeachonedownseparately,thatwillhopefullyfrightentheothersoff,’Itoldher.
‘Okay.’Hervoicewasshaky,eveninmyhead.
Ididn’twanttotakeIvannadownfirstbecausetheotherthreewouldjumpintoprotecther,asshewasthemostdominant.Instead,IaimedforthesmallestonetoEliza’sleft.
‘Her.’
Iloweredmyheadandgrowledlowastheycircled,tryingtointimidateus.
WithoutanotherwordElizalungedforwardandyankedthesmallwolfbythehindleg,draggingherintothecircle.TheotherthreewolveslungedforElizabutIgotintothefrayfirst.WhileElizawasdragginginthesmallwolf,whohowledinpainandtriedtoclawatthegroundandrunout,Iwentforherjugular.
Ibitdownonherthroatandtoreitoutinsecondsasherbodywentlimp.Shedidn’tevenknowwhathither.Itwasthesametacticthatmypackusedtotakedowncougarin.
Suddenlyawolflandedonmyback.Ishookvigorouslytodislodgeherbeforeshecouldbitemeandfeltherslideoff.
‘Help!’ElizacalledandIspuntoseeIvanatearingintoherflank.Elizakeptherheadlowtothegroundwithherthroatcoveredbythedirtasoneoftheotherwolvestuggedatherear,tryingtogethertoexposeherneck.
IleaptintotheairandcamedownonIvanna’sbackhard,knockinghertotheside.Sherolledthreetimes,outoftheway.
‘Attack!’ItoldElizaandwithouthesitationshestoodfromwhereshewasprotectivelycoweringandwebothwentforthewolfwho’dbeenpullingonherear.ThistimeIpulledherhindlegtopinherdownandElizatoreoutherthroat.Itallhappenedinamatterofseconds.Therewasnothingcomparedtofightingwithapackmate.NotonlycouldweverballycommunicatebutIsensedthings.Herflankwashurtingandshewashungrybutshewasalsoroaringwithfightingenergyandtherewasatrustbetweenus.
ShewoulddoasIasked,lettingmetakethelead.
Webothturnedthen,justasIvannaandherfinalwolfsteppedbeforeus,lipspeeledbackinasnarl.Ivannalookedatthetwodeadwolvesandthenatthebothofus.
Sheknew.Sheknewwewerepack.Itwastheonlywaywecouldpulloffsuchacoordinatedattack.
Shetooktwostepsback,thenthree,andwashalfwayoutofthefightingringbeforeherlonerwolffriendrealizedwhatwashappening.
Theyweregoingtoretreat.
Partofmewantedtotakethembothoutnow.Together,asapack,weprobablycould,butElizawasinjured,Icouldsenseit.
‘Howbadlyareyouhurt?’Iaskedher.
‘Whocares.Let’sfinishthem.’
Iturnedandgaveherawolfishgrin.IknewI’doriginallylikedherforareason.ButwhenIsawthehunkoffurandfleshhangingoffherribcageandthepoolofbloodbeneathher,fearwashedoverme.
Ivannaandherwolfusedmydistractionthentotucktailandrun,headingfortheopenflatlandscapearoundus.
Knowingtheyweregoneandwouldn’tlikelycomeback,IrantoElizaandusedmynosetobringtheflapoffuruptoherexposedribcage.
Shewhimpered.
‘Liedown,’Icommanded.
SheploppeddowninherownbloodandIusedmynosetosticktheskinbacktoherflanksothatitcouldhealproperly.
Sheneededfood.Rawmeatpreferably.
IpeeredatthetwodeadwolveslayingaroundusandElizalookedupatme.
‘I’mnotthathungry,’sheassuredme.
‘Ididn’tsayanything.’Itriedtoactinnocent
‘Youwerethinkingit.’
Damn,shealreadyknewmetoowell.I’dnevereatenmyownkind,couldn’tevenfathomituntilnow.
‘I’llbefinewithsomerestandwater,’shesaid.
Imovedtograboneofthewaterbeadstringsandthendraggeditovertoher.Shecrushedthebulbsinhermouthandthenbegantopant.
PantingmeantpainandIwasabouttomakethingsworsebecausemyinstinctwastellingmethatlyinginjuredneartwofreshkillswasastupididea.‘Weshouldmove.Thesebodiesaregoingtoattractanimals.’
IhatedmyselfforsayingitbecauseIknewshewoulddoasIasked.Withawide-eyedlookofhorror,shenoddedonceandtriedtostand.ShefelltwiceandIfeltawful.
‘Icanshiftandcarryyou,’Isaid.
‘Don’tyoudare,’shesnapped.‘Saveyourenergy,theycouldcomebackandwestillhavetowalkoutofhere.’
Onherthirdattempt,Iusedmysnouttohelpherstandandshestumbledforward,outofthebloodpuddleandawayfromthecarnage.
‘Evenaquarterofamilewillhelpus.Anythingtoputadistancebetweenusandthebodies,’Itoldher.
Shelimped,whimperingwitheachstepaswemovedawayfromwherethefighthadgonedown.Whenwe’dgottenagoodenoughwayaway,Icalledforhertostop.Shedid,andpromptlyfelltothegroundwithayelp.
Iimmediatelynuzzledherneck,feargrippingme.Ifeltsoconflicted.Shewasnowmypackmate,someoneIhadaconnectionwith.Icouldfeelherpain.Icouldn’tjustletherdie.Shewasmoreinjuredthanshe’dleton.Isawthatnow.BloodpooledaroundherandIknewthatwithoutfood,herhealingmagicwouldbeslow.Tooslow.
‘I’msorryIcouldn’tprotectyou,’Itoldher.ThefactthatwewerebothinacompetitiontowintheQueenTrialsdidn’tmatteranymore.Onlythisbondmattered,shewasapacksisternow.
CyruswasgoingtokillmebecauseIknewinthismomentIcouldneverhurther.IfwebothmadeitbacktoDeathMountainaliveandIwasputinafightagainsther,Icouldn’tdoit.
WhathadIdone?
Shelookedupatme.‘IfI’mnotbettertomorrowmorning,leaveme.’
Igrowled,asifthatwasacrazythingtosay.‘Packmatessticktogether,’Itoldher.
Sheshookherhead.‘Idon’twantIvannamarryingthekingandleadingmypeople.Leavemeandwinthetrials.’
AwhimperlodgedinmythroatthenandIfellontothegroundnexttoher,snugglinguptohergoodside.
‘Tellmeastory,’shesaid.‘Distractionhelpswiththepainandhunger.’
AndsoIdid.Itoldhermysecret,oneveryfewpeopleknew.
‘IknewKingAxilbeforewhenhewasjustayoungteenager.Ilovedhim.’
Shegasped,asmallwolfishsoundandInodded,proceedingtotellhertheentirestory.Whynot?ShemightbleedoutrighthereinthemiddleofnowhereandIwantedtosharetheweightofwhatIcarriedwithsomeoneelse.ShelistenedquietlyandthenIfinishedwithhimwalkingawaywithhisbrotherafterKingAnselhadsaidallofthosehorriblethingsaboutme.
‘Thatexplainssomuch,’shesaidsleepilywhenIfinished.
Ifrowned.‘Whatdoyoumean?’
Shestaredatme,heryellowwolfeyessearingintomysoul.‘MysisterworksinthepalaceasAxil’spersonalassistant.Sheoncequestionedwhyhenevertooklovers.’
Myheartfranticallypoundedagainstthewallsofmychest.‘Whatdidhesay?’
‘Thathe’dalreadygivenhisheartawaywhenhewasfifteenandanythingelsewouldpaleincomparison,’Elizarepliedblearily.
Mymuzzleunhingedasherwordshitmeliketossedstones.He…hesaidthataboutme?Itdidn’tmakesense,hewastheonewhowalkedaway.
WhenIglancedbackdownatEliza,hereyeswereclosed,andshewasasleep.
Ididn’tsayanythingmore,mystomachwastiedintoknotsoverEliza’sstateofhealthandIwasstillprocessingherwordsaboutAxil.Shemustbemistaken,heardhersisterwrong.Axilwouldn’tsaythataboutme…Ishookmyself,pushingallofthataway.
EventhoughIknewweshouldbemovingandmakingasmuchdistancebetweenthetwodeadwolvenbodiesaspossible,IforcedmyselftokeepwatchasElizaslept.Sheneededthehealingrestmorethananything.
AfewhourstickedbyandIconstantlyhadtomakemyselfgetupandmoveincirclestokeepawake.IwasjustmakingthehundredthcirclearoundElizawhenIsmelledit.
Ifroze,mywolfsnouttippingupintotheairsothatIcouldtakeinadeepbreath.
No.
Bearin.
Itmusthavefoundthetwodeadwolves.Wehadtogetoutofhere.Elizawascoveredinbloodandhewouldfindhertooandfinishusbothoff.I’dfoughtbearinplentyoftimeswithmypack,butneveralone.Lonewolvesgotpickedoffbybearin.
‘’Liza.’Inudgedherwithmysnout,shorteninghernameinarush.
Whenherheadlolledtotheside,limp,Iwhimpered.
No.
Pressingmynosetightlytoherneck,InearlycriedinreliefwhenIfeltastrongpulse.Shewaspassedout,whichwasn’tgood,butshealsowasn’tdead.
Iwouldhavetoshiftintomyhumanformandcarryher,notstoppinguntilwereachedDeathMountain.Shewasfamily.Pack.AsmuchasCyruswouldhavecounseledmetoleaveherbehind,Icouldn’tnow.I’dbondedmyselftothiswomanandIwasn’tgoingtoletherdie.
Dammit,Zara.
IwasjustabouttoforcemyselftochangewhenIheardheavyfootstepsbehindme.
No.No.No.
Iwastoolate.
Spinningaround,Icamefacetofacewiththeblackbearin.Theonlysavinggracewasthathewassmaller,ayoungermalewhowasstillnearlytwicemysizebutnothingliketheadultmaleswhowerefourtimesmywolf.
EveryinstinctinsideofmeurgedmetorunbutthenIrememberedthewayElizahadstoodovermewhenIwaswakingupfromwhateverthey’ddruggeduswith.She’dprotectedmewhenIvannatriedtotakemeout.ShewasloyalandIwasn’tgoingtolosemyhonorbyleavingapackmatebehind.I’dratherdiehereprotectingherbodythanrunbacktoDeathMountainacowardandapacktraitor.
Whenthebearinreareduponhishindlegsandsnarled,Iloweredintoanattackstanceandletoutadeepgrowl.Icouldseebloodstainsonhismouthwherehe’dalreadydugintoourearlierkillsbutclearlyhewasn’tsatiated.Ineededtolethimknowthatifhemessedwithme,itmeanthewouldbeinjured.ThenmaybeIcouldgethimtorunoff.
Hechargedthen,andinsteadofthinkingupsomecoolplan,Iwasthrownintothefightofmyliferunningoninstinct.
Hewaslargerandslower.Whenhelungedforme,Ileaptupintotheair,planningtocomedownontopofhim.
Hewassmarterthanthatunfortunately.Reachingupwithhisgiantpaw,hebattedmeoutoftheskylikeaball.
MyribssnappedonimpactwithhispawandthenIwentflying.IbracedmyselfforthehitandwhenmybodycrashedintothehardgroundIwailedinpain.Myalreadybrokenribsflaredtolifewithagonyuponimpact.AfreshwaveofanguishtookmybreathawaybutIgotupquickly.Iexpectedthebeasttocomeformeagainbuttomyhorror,hewasgoingforbloodyandunconsciousEliza.
Imightbeabletousethistomybenefit.SprintingfromwhereIhadfallen,ItookoffaftertheanimalbeforehecouldgettoEliza,whowasjustlyingthere,limpandhelpless.Ileaptonthebearin’sback,tearingintothesideofhisneck.ThesecondIgotagoodbitein,hestooderect,shakingmeoff.Ifell,landingonthosecrackedribsagainandnearlypassedoutfromthesearinghotwaveofagony.Ihadtoremindmyselfthatpainwastemporaryandtojustpushpastit.Nothingmatteredmorethanstayingaliverightnow.ThebearinhadrealizedthatIwasthebiggestthreatintheareaandofficiallychargedmehead-on.ThislittlebastardhadpissedmeoffandIwentabsolutelyberserkonhim.IalwaysknewIwoulddieinbattle.OrhopedIwould.Itwastheultimatehonor.Anddyingwhiletearingintothispaininmyass,protectinganewfriendandpackmate,wasafinewaytogoforme.
Isnappedathimlikearabidanimal,tearingintofleshandrippingawayhunksofhisfurashisjawscamearoundmylegandchomped.
AhowlofmiseryrippedfrommythroatbutIdidn’tletup,makingsurethatthiscowardwouldbescarredforlifebeforeIdied.WhenIclampeddownonhisbacklegandheardtherewardingcrunchofbone,hereleasedmeallatonceandstumbledbackwardswithalimp.
Iheldmyinjuredbacklegupintheairsoasnottoputanypressureonitandstaredhimdown.Hewasdoingthesame,favoringhisotherpawswhilecurlingtheoneI’dmaimeduptohisbelly.
Wewereinanepicstare-down.
Icandothisallday.Iwillfightyoutothedeath,youpieceofcrap,andtakeyoureyeballonmywaytoHades.
OninstinctIsnarledandlungedforhim,hoppingonmygoodbacklegandheturnedandranoff.
ReliefrushedthroughmeasIwatchedhimgo,butIheldfirm,stayingstandingasIwatchedhimbecomeasmalldotonthehorizon.Thesunwasupnowandweneededtogetoutofherebeforemorepredatorscame.
AmoancamefrombehindmeandIhoppedovertoEliza.ShewasconsciousbutwhenIplacedmymuzzleagainsthers,Ifeltthefeverthroughherfur.
Infection.
Thebleedinghadstoppedthankstoherhealingabilitiesbutsheneededfoodandresttofighttheinfection.
IknewwhatIhadtodo.
Forcingashiftwithbrokenboneswasliabletogiveyouapermanentinjury.YoushouldalwayswaituntiltheboneshadsetbutIdidn’thavetimeforthat.ElizawoulddiewithoutgettingbacktoDeathMountainandsowouldI.Itwastheworstpaininmylife.
IwishedI’dhadtheenergytokillthebearinbecauseitwouldhavegivenussustenancebutIwasgratefultohavescareditoff.Whimperingandhowlingthroughthesearingpainofmyshift,Ifinallystoodononeleg,nakedasthedayIwasborn.Iwastooterrifiedtoputpressureonmyotherfootjustyet.I’dlongforgottenaboutourclothingbackatthesiteofthefightandwasgoingtohavetogetoverthefactthatIwasgonnawalkovertwelvehoursbackintoDeathMountainnude.Nuditywasn’tabigdealamongourpeople,abreasthere,aflashofbacksidethere.Weallshiftedbackandforthbetweenourformsregularlybuttowalkintoacrowdofclothedhumanswhilefullynaked…
Ishookmyhead,notcaringaboutsomethingsotrivial.Reachingdowntohookthewaterbulbvinesaroundmyneck,IhoppedovertoElizaandheftedherovermyshoulderslikeIwouldakill,stillnotputtingpressureonmybrokenfoot.
‘No,’shesaidweaklyintomymind.‘Leavemeandsaveyourself.’
‘NotachanceinHades,’Itoldherandwincedatthediscomfortherweightputonmyhealingbrokenribs
Shedidn’targue,Ibelievedshewastooweakandnowthatshewasdrapedovermyshoulderslikeafurryscarf,Icouldfeelthatshewasburningup.Waytoohot.
Ihadyettotakethefirststep.Iwasscaredofwhatitwouldfeelliketocarrymyownweight,plusEliza’s,onabrokenanklethatwasn’tfullysetbutIknewIhadtomoveordie.
Itookonestepandthenstumbledforwardwithacry.ItwassomuchworsethanIthought;hotpainlikefirelickedupmyankleandcausedsweattobeadmybrow.
‘Painistemporary.Workaroundit.’Cyrus’voicecametomethen.ItwasasifhecouldfeelmydistressallthewayfromhisplaceonDeathMountainandwastryingtocounselme.
IlookedaroundfranticallyandnearlyweptwithreliefwhenIsawalongsturdybranchthatIcoulduseasawalkingstick.Hopingovertoit,whilekeepingElizaonmyshoulders,tooktalentbutwhenIgotthere,Ibentdowntopickitup.Itwasthick,notcompletelystraightbutstraightenough.Rippingtheextrabranchesfromit,Ifistedthetipofitandstuckthebluntendintotheground,walkingforwardcautiously.
Itstillhurt,butittookenoughweightoffmyanklethatthepainwasbearable.ThoughIhadtokeepElizabalancedonmyshoulderswithjustonehand,Iwasmanaging.Theflatlandscapewasforgiving.IwasthankfulIdidn’thavetojumpoveranyfallenlogsorgiantrocksbutafterthesecondhourIstartedtogoslightlyinsane.
Elizawashotandheavy,myribsseemedtobehealingbutnowmystomachwaseatingitselfinsideout,beggingforfood.AsashifterIburnedmorecaloriesthanahumanonanormalday,butaninjuredshiftercouldeatenoughfoodfortwentyhumans.
MyfootwasaconstantthrobandsometimesasharpstabifImovedtooquickly.
BythefourthhourIwantedtodie.Elizahadpassedoutagain,herheadfloppingagainstmyneck.IreachedafewdarkminuteswhereIconsideredleavingher.Itwouldbemucheasiertowalkwithoutthegiantwolfaroundmyshoulders.
Painistemporary,Itoldmyself.
Exceptwhenit’snot.Whenit’sgoingonforseveralhoursofpainandhunger,itfeltverypermanent.
Istartedtosingthen.Lightly,soIwouldn’twasteenergybutIhadtodosomethingorIwouldgocompletelymad.
“Whenthelittlebabywolfwentovertheridge,overtheridge…”IsmiledasIwasremindedofmybabybrotherOsloandthesongsIwouldsinghimtosleepwith,“…hefoundhismamawolfinthemeadow.”IfinishedandwasshockedwhenatearslippeddownmycheekandintoEliza’sfur.
Ihadofficiallycracked.
Inevercried.Tearswereforweaksubmissiveswhoneededprotection.Notme.NotZaraSwiftwater,daughterofanalpha.
Reachingup,Ismackedmyselfacrossthecheekandshookmyhead.
Getittogether,Zara.
OnlybypullingoneveryounceofmystrengthwasIgoingtosurvivethis.Nowwasnotthetimetogosoft.
Somehow,Iwalkedforanothersixhours,takingasfewbreaksaspossible,untilIfeltdeadinsideandout.
Istaredupatthesun,makingsureforthehundredthtimeIwasgoingsouthandthenlookedoutonthehorizon.
AsobleftmythroatwhenIsawthebacksideofDeathMountaincomeintoview.Itwasfaroffinthedistance,butitwasthere.
Wemadeit.
“Almostthere.Hangon,’Liza,”Itoldherandpushedforwardwitharenewedstrength.
Bymyestimateittookanothertwohourstofinallyreachthebaseofthemountain.I’dbeenwalkingforovertwelvehours,thesunwassettingintheskyandIwasdeadonmyfeetbutsomehowIkeptgoing.ThebrokenbarrenlandturnedtolushforestabruptlyandprettysoonIwashavingtoambleoverfallentreesandsharpinclines.
Everythinghurt.Itburned,itthrobbed,itpoundedlikeaheartbeatinmyfootbutnotmorethanmydesiretogetusbothtosafety,tofoodandrest.
Climbingupthebackofthatmountaintestedmysoultoitsverylimits.Ifelltwice.DroppedElizaonce.Icried,Iscreamed,IhowledandfinallywhenIcameupovertheridge…I’dmadeit.Iwascoveredinbloodanddirtandmyfootwasblackandpurpleandbentatanoddangle.Elizalookedhalf-dead,shesmelledrotten,andshewascenterofthesunhot,butIcouldstillhearherheartbeat.
ThenoisesofthepeopleofDeathMountainpulledatmyearsandIfollowedthesound,allbutdraggingmyselfthroughthethickwoodsandintotheopengrassyknollatthebaseofthecastle.
PeoplestaredasIlimpedforward,nakedandbarelyalive,towardsthebluechampiontentandthenallatoncetherewasshouting.
“Championsareback!”
“Getherwater!”
“Medical!”oneladyscreamedasshefranticallytookinmydistressedstateandstartedtorushforward.
Icouldn’tholdonanylonger;atthesightofsafetymystrengthhadfled.ThecrowdpartedandthenAxiljoggedforwardwithwidepanickedeyes,takingmeinfromheadtotoe.Istumbled,swayingonmyfeet.
ThewomanwhohadcalledforhelptookElizaoffmyshouldersandItriedtostayuprightbutmylegssuddenlyfeltliketheyweremadeofliquidwithnosubstancetokeepthemstanding.
OnesecondIwaslookingatAxil’sterrifiedgazeandthenextIwasfalling.HisarmscrashedaroundmeandthenIwasenvelopedwithhisscent.
Maker,Imissedthatsmell.ImissedthewayIfelttuckedagainsthismuscularchest.
“Shebroughtinanotherwolf!”someonecommented.
“Whywouldshedothat?Shecouldhavelefther?”anothersaidastheyattendedtoElizaandmyvisionstartedtoblur.
Axilreachedoutandtracedmyjawlikehehadahundredtimes,allwhileholdingmygaze.“Becausethat’sZara.She’sloyal.”
Hesaiditlikeheknewmysoulinsideandoutandtobeseenlikethat,itmadeapartofmecomealiveagain.ApartIthoughthaddied.
Andthat’swheneverythingwentblackandIlostmybattlewithstayingconscious.SIX
Icametowiththesoundofarguingvoices.
“Elizasaysshe’spackwithher!”anoldermaleshouted.
“That’sagainsttherules.OnlyonewolfperpackmayentertheQueenTrials,”anothermansaid.
Itsoundedliketheelderadvisorswerearguing.MybodywasstillsoreandIwantedtohearwhattheyweresayingsoIcontinuedtolietherequietlywithmyeyespinchedshut.
“I’mtheking,”Axilgrowled.“AndIsayit’snot.Bothwomenenteredthetrialsfromdifferentpacks.Wetoldthemtosurvivethetaskandtheydidwhattheyhadtoinordertodothat.”
“But—”onewenttoarguethenstopped,probablygettingaglarefromAxil.
“Theywouldhaveanextremeadvantageinthenexttask,mylord,”themorereasonablevoiceadded.
“Thensobeit.Youwantmetomarrythestrongestmemberofourkind.Well,Ithinkawomanwhoisn’tevenanalpha,andwasabletoforceapackbond,isprettydamnstrong,”Axilsaidandmybellywarmed.
Hewastalkingaboutme.
Therewasthesoundofshufflingfeetthenastheyretreatedfromtheroomandmyeyelidssprangopen.Iwasinanelvincrystalhealingchamberbedwithstarkwhitesheetsdrapedovermybody.Irealizedthenthatnoteveryonehadleft,andIpeereduptofindAxillookingdownatme.
“How’s—”Istartedbuthewavedmeoff.
“She’sfine.Yousavedherlife.”Hiswordswereclippedandshort.
Whydidhesoundupset?Iproppedmyselfupontomyelbows.“Andyou’remadaboutthat?”Igrowled.“Youhaven’tchangedabit.Stillthesameselfishlittleboywhoonlycaresabouthisroyalreputation!”
Ididn’tcarethathewaskingnow,AxilMoonneededtobetakendownanotch.Hedidn’thavearighttobeangryatmeforsavingsomeone’slife.
Atmywords,herecoiledasifI’dslappedhim.“Isthatwhatyouthink?”
AllthepainIsworeI’dgottenoverasayoungteencamefloodingtothesurface.“Yes,Axil.Didyoublackoutatourbreak-up?YourbrotherinformedyouthatIwasapieceofMudFlattrashandyouagreedandwalkedaway.Neverevencamebackthenextyear.Neversentaletter.Nothing.”
Hischeeksburnedwithshame,rednesswashingoverhisneck.“Ididn’tagree.”Hisvoicewassmallandhelookedhorrified,eyeswideashebegantofidgetwithhishands.
Ilaughed,abitingsound.“Thesilenceandsightofyourbackasyouwalkedawaywasagreementenough.”
Hefrowned.“Youhateme.I’vespentalloftheseyearslovingyouandyouhateme?”Hesoundedsurprised.
Hiswordswerelikeanarrowtomyheart.Isatupfullynow,pleasedtofeelnopaininmyribs,justtheachinginmysoulathiswords.Iwasclothed,evenifitwasinawhitehealinggown,andsoIslippedoffthebedandhobbledtowardshim,testingtheweightonmyankle.Itwastenderbutnothinglikebefore.ItmademewonderhowlongI’dbeenout,butInolongercaredinthismoment
“Lovingme?”Insteadoffeelingjoy,Ihadneverbeenmorepissedoffinmylife.“Youthinkthatwalkingawayafterthosetwomonthsatcamp—”
“I—”
“DONOTINTERUPTME!”Ishoutedlikeacrazedmaniac,pullingdominantpowerintomyvoiceandhiseyesflewwide.“I’vewaitedfiveyearstotellyouthis,AxilMoon,youwillletmespeakmytruth!”
Axillookedscaredofmeanddeepdownthatmademefeelgood.Iwantedhimtohurt.IshuffledclosertohimsothatIcouldlookhimstraightintheeyesasItoldhimwhathedidtome.HeappearedlikehewasinpainbeforeIevenopenedmymouth.
Withashakybreath,Iheldhisgaze.“I’mdeadinsidebecauseofyou,Axil.”
Agonycrossedhisfaceandhestumbledbackwardsintothewalluntilhisbackhitit.Ipushedforward,steppingclosersothatIcouldreachoutandtouchhisheartwithmyhand.Ilaidmypalmoverthespotonhischestthatcontainedhisheart,likeIhadsomanytimesthatsummer.Feelingthefranticchaoticbeatingmademefeelgood.
“Ilovedyouwitheveryounceofmysoul,theentireweightofitwasyours,”Itoldhim.“Youmadepromises,knowinghowbrokenIwasfromlosingmyparentssoyoung.Youtoldmethatyouwouldbemyfamily,”Iremindedhim.
Shameburnedhischeeksbuthestayedsilent,lettingmespeakmytruth.
“Andthenyouleftme.Threwmeawayliketrash!”Iscreamedinhisface,retractingmyhand.“Andnoweverymanthathascomeafteryouhasgottenashadowofmebecausethere’snothingleft!”Ibeatonmychesthard,asmywolfrosetothesurfaceandAxildidsomethingIdidn’texpect.
Hecoveredhisfacewithhishandsandburstintosobs.
TherawheartfeltemotionshookmetomycoreandIdidn’tknowwhattodowithit.AxilMoon,thekingwolven,didn’tcry.Hewasn’tweak.Hedidn’tbreakdowninsobsoverawoman.
Ordidhe?Andwasitaweakness?
Istaredathiminshockashebrokedownandpartofmewantedtopullhimintomyarmsandsqueezehimsotightuntilhestopped,butthebiggerpartwantedhimtohurt.SoIturned,andhoppedoutoftheroom,slammingthedoorandleavingmypastbehindme.
Hurtmeonce.Lessonlearned.Hurtmetwice…nevergonnahappen,becauseI’mnotthatstupid.
AxilMoonwasdeadtome.
***
Irushedrightoutside,throughthenetworkofhallwaysandfoundmybrother.
HestartedtolayintomeaboutmakingElizapackbutwhenhesawthelookonmyfacehestopped.Hehandedmealargepieceofflatbreadwithbutteronitandmymouthinstantlywatered.Iyankeditfromhisgraspandthenslippedpasthimandintomyhammockwithoutsayinganotherword.Iwantedtobealone,justmeandmyyummyflatbreadandmystupidfeelings.SometimelaterIfellasleepandthenwokeupearlythenextmorning.Thecampfirewasdyingandthesunwasbarelyout.
Isteppedoutofthetenttofindthatmyanklecouldnowsupportallofmyweight.
Cyrusdidn’tlookupatmeasheaddedanotherlogtothefire.“Ivannaandoneothermadeitbacklatelastnight.Theylookedhalf-starvedbutnotseverelyinjured.”
Inodded,handinghimasecondlogwithoutspeaking.IknewIvannawouldsurvivebutIdidn’tcarerightnow.Ihadn’tbeenabletogetAxil’swordsoutofmyheadallnight.
I’vespentalltheseyearslovingyouandyouhateme?
Didhereallybelievehelovedmealltheseyears?Thesoundofhissobbinghauntedmysoul.Maybehedid.
I’dneverseenamanbreakdownlikethat.Hades,noneofthewomenIknewcriedlikethat.Unlesstheyweresubmissiveorhadjustlostarelativeinbattle.HecriedlikeI’ddied.MaybeI’dmournedhimallthoseyearsagoandforsomestupidreasonhe’dheldontohope?Sohe’donlyjustlostmelastnight.
Itdidn’tmakesense.
Ididn’tseehowhecouldbesodelusionalbutalas,menwerestupidsometimes.
Mybrotherfinallyspoke.“Youmadeherpack?Zara,areyouinsane?”
Eliza.Ineededtocheckonher.“Maybe,”Itoldhimandhefinallylookedupatmewithalittlecompassion.
“Youokay?Wasitroughoutthere?”
Isighed,“Ifkillingtwowolves,whilefightingoffanothertwo,andthenbeingmauledbyabearin,onlytowalkElizaoutonabrokenankleisrough…thenyeahitwas.”
Hestoodthen,shiftingontheballsofhisfeetbeforepullingmeintoanawkwardstiffhug.
Mybrotherdidn’thug.Clearly.Hewashorribleatit.Itactuallyhurt,hewassqueezingmybacksohard,butIsaidnothing.ItwouldprobablybeanothertenyearsbeforehehuggedmeagainsoIwrappedmyarmsaroundhimandsqueezedhimback.
“Iwassodamnproudofyouwhenyousteppedoutofthosewoods,Zar,”hesaid,pullingback.“MomandDadwouldhavebeentoo.”
Didhiseyeslookwet?
“Areyoucrying?”Iteasedhim.Somethingwasintheair.Allthesemencryingoverme.
“No!”hesnapped,wipingathiseyesandthenpunchingmyshoulderhardforgoodmeasure.
Igrinned.“Ihadhelp.Elizakeptmesafe.Wehaveanalliance.”
Hisfacefell.“Thatwillonlyworkuntilthefinalroundandthen,ifshe’sstillalive,you’regoingtohavetokillher.”
Mybodyphysicallyclenchedatthethought.“Cyrus,she’spack.Iclaimedher.”
Hisfistsclenched.“Iknow.Icanfeelher,”heargued.“Weallcan.”Hegesturedtomypackmateswhoweresteppingoutofthetentandyawningwithsleep.
Theynodded.
Ofcoursetheycould,shewasfamilynow.MudFlatpack.
Ishrugged.“Iowehermylife.ShestoodovermeandprotectedmewhenIwasunconsciousasIvannacameformewithasharprock.”
Cyruslookeddisappointed.“Zara,twopeoplecan’twinthis.”
“Iknowthat!”Isnapped.Ididn’twanttotalkaboutthis,Ididn’twanttothinkaboutkillingmynewfriendandpackmate.Icouldn’thearthisanymore.“Let’sjustfocusontakingoutIvanna.ThatbitchhasitinformeandIwanthergone.”
CyrusnoddedandthenItoldhimIwasgoingtogetsomefreshairandfood.ThepieceofflatbreadI’dhadlastnightwasn’tcuttingit.
IknewthatElizawouldn’tsleepoutsideintentssoIwalkedtothecastleandwhentheguardatthefrontsawme,heboweddeeply.
“ZaraSwiftwater.It’sanhonor,”hesaid.
Ifroze.Heknewmyname?“Uhthanks.”
Heseemedtoreadmyshockedexpression.“ElizaisDeathMountainpack.Youdidn’thavetobringherhomeonyourshoulderslikethat.Youhaveallofourrespect.”
Ismiled.“Yes,Idid.Shesavedmylife.Speakingofwhich,doyouknowwhichroomishers?”
Hegestureddownalonghallway.“Makealeftandthenit’sthelastoneontheright.”
Ienteredthestonecastleandwalkeddownthelengthycorridor,makingaleftattheforkuntilIcametothelastdoor.Reachingout,Irappedmyknucklesonthedoorhe’dspokenof.Isensedher.Shewasinsidefullofnervousenergy.Thedooropenedandthenshestoodbeforemewithabandagedribcageandwearingacroppedtop.Therewereblackcirclesunderhereyesandshesmelledofrawmeatbutshewasalive.Webothtookonelookateachotherandthenrushedintotheother’sarms.Iheldhergently,knowingshewasstillinjured,andshedidthesame.
“Thankyou,”shesaid,hervoicethickwithemotion.“Yousavedmylife.”
Ipulledbackfromher.“Yousavedminefirst.Ivannawouldhavebashedmyheadopenwiththatrock.”
Shesmiled,wavingmeintotheroom.
Isteppedinside,takingintheluxuriousdigs.“Wait,whydidIsaynotothisinordertosleepinatent?”Iasked.
Shelaughed.“Ihavenoidea.”
Itwasn’taroom,itwasahouse!Orasbigasoneanyway.Therewasalargegreatroomwithasmallkitchenandwhatlookedliketwobedrooms.Thefloorswerearichbrown-stainedwoodandthewallswerepaintedalightyellow.
MyjokehadlightenedthemoodbutIcouldtellbythelookonherface,shewasabouttosaysomethingthatwouldbringmebackdown.
“You’llmakeanamazingqueen,”shetoldmeandIfroze.
“Stopit,”Isaid.
Sheshookherhead.“Zara,howdoyouthinkthisends?Ijustheardthenextroundispairedfighting.YouandmeagainstIvannaandCharlize.Thewinningteamthenfightseachother.”
Igasped.Ididn’tknowthat.DidCyrus?Maybethat’swhathewastryingtosayatthefire.
“I…can’tkillyou,Eliza.I’malotofthingsbutI’mnotcapableofthat.”Iwassurprisedtofindthatitwastrue.Ithoughtmyselftougherthanthat,especiallyconsideringI’dknownthisgirlonlyafewdaysbuttherewassomethingabouther.AsisterlybondIcouldn’texplain.
Sheshrugged.“YoukillmeorIforfeitandmypacktearsmeapart.Yourchoice.”
“Stopit!”Ishouted.“Let’snoteventalkaboutthat.Wecoulddieinthenextchallenge.”
Elizashookherhead,herblondecurlsspillingaroundher.“Youknowwewon’t.Wehaveapackadvantage.Youlead,I’llfollow.”
Myheartpinchedatherloyaltytome.“Weshouldn’thavebecomefriends,”Isaid,feelingbadoncethewordsleftmymouth.Ididn’treallymeanitbutIkindofdid.Itwouldhavebeeneasierthatway.Somewhereinthelastthreenear-deathexperiencesI’dhadwiththiswoman,we’dforgedanunbreakablebond.“Ididn’tmeanthat,”Isaid.
Shereachedoverandplacedherhandonmine.“Iknowwhatyoumeant.”
“Axilsaidhestilllovedme,”Iblurtedout,changingthesubject,notusedtohavingagirlfriendtotalkto,havinggrownupwithtwobrothers.
Shegaspedandsteppedclosertome,full-ongrinning.“And?”
“Itoldhimoff.Andthenhesobbed.”
Hereyebrowsshotup.“KingAxilsobbed?”
Inodded.
“Damn,whatdidyousaytohim?”ShelookedconcernedandnowIwonderedifI’dgonetoofarinsomeofthethingsI’dsaidtohim.
“Justtheusualpostbreak-upstuff,thatIwasdeadinsidenow,thathebrokemyheartandIwasashadowofmyformerself,”Iteased.
Sheburstintolaughterandthengrabbedherbandagedside,wincing.
“Youokay?”Iasked,hopingshewouldbehealthyenoughforourdoublesfight.
Shenodded.“Stillhealing.Haveyoueaten?”
Themomentshesaidit,mystomachcametolife.Thatflatbreadwasn’tenoughandI’dbeenhalfconsciouswhenI’deatenit.NowIsmelledthemeatinherkitchenandmystomachgrowledloudly.
“Feedmeimmediately,”Iorderedwithamockseriousness.
Withasmileshewalkedgingerlyovertothekitchenandpulledoutaplateofvarioussmokedmeats,breadrollsandcheeses.Iduginwithoutevenwaitingtobeoffered.LikeacrazedlunaticIshovedmeatandcheeseintomymouth,halfchewingbeforeswallowingitdown.Itwasspicyandsaltyandso,sogood.
Elizalookedatmehorrified.“Itakeitback,youwouldmakeahorriblequeen,youhavenomanners.”
Igavehermymiddlefingerandshegrinned.
Wegotalongsoeasily,itwaslikethebestfriendIneverhadintheMudFlats.Everyfemaletherewaseithercompetingtobethemostdominant,andthereforesteeringclearofeachother,ortheyweresosubmissivetheybarelyspoketome.WithEliza,itwasaneasyfriendship,sheknewherpeckingorderinthepackwasbeneathmebutshewasdominantenoughtogivemecrap,whichIappreciated.
“Couldyoudropout?”Iaskedher.“You’reinjured.”
Shelaughed.“Youthinktheycareaboutaninjury?Adrop-outisthesameasforfeit.I’llbekilledandseenasbringingshametothewholepack.Theking’spack.”
Ilostmyappetitethen,feelingsickthinkingaboutthepossibilityofeventuallyhavingtofightEliza.
“Thanksforthefood.Ishouldprobablygo.”Isuddenlydidn’twanttobehere,bondingwithheronlytobepittedagainsteachotheranotherday.
Shelookedsadbutnodded,handingmeaglassofwatertowashallthefooddown.Idrankitandthankedher,leavingoutthedoortoherapartment.SEVEN
AsIwalkedthehallsofthecastleIcouldn’tstopthinkingaboutEliza.StupidZara.IshouldhavetoldhertopoundsandthefirstdayImether.Inevershouldhavehelpedherwinherfightsorgivenheradvice.AndInevershouldhavemadeherpack.NowIwasstuckwithher.ThebestpartabouttheQueenTrialswasthattherewasonlyonepersonperpackandyoudidn’tknowanyofthem.Itwaseasiertokillpeopleyoudidn’tknow.LikeIvanna.
IwassostuckinmyheadthatIrealizedIwasnowlost.I’dgonethewrongwayandturnedtoretracemystepswhenIslammedintosomeone’schest.
Axil.
Mywholebodyfroze.
Helookeddownatmeandafteryesterday’semotionalexchangeIwasn’tpreparedtoseethemaskofangerthatwasdisplayedthere.
Isuckedinabreathatthesightandhegrittedhisjawandmovedtowalkpastme.Isteppedtotheside,matchinghismovementsbutgettinginhisway.Hisnostrilsflaredandpureunbridledrageroiledthroughhim.Icouldfeelit.
Howdarehe.
“Youhavenorighttobemadatme,”Iseethed,holdinghisdominantgaze.
“Youdidn’tevenletmespeak,”hemanagedthroughclenchedteeth.
Iscoffed.“Andwhatcouldyoupossiblysaythatwouldexplainhowyoujustwalkedawayfromme?Afterallthepromisesyoumade.”
Helookedfartherdownthehallwaywherefootstepscouldbeheardandthenreachedout,yankingmebytheshouldersandpullingmeintoanopendoorway.
Igrowledbutallowedhimtoshufflemeintoaroomandshutthedoor.Ipeeredaroundtoseethatwewereinsomekindoflibrary.Bookslineddarkwoodenfloor-to-ceilingbookshelves.
Herushedforwardthen,zoomingintomyfacewithasmuchangerasI’dhadduringourlastexchange.DarkcirclesmarredhisskinandIwonderedifhe’dsleptlastnight.“You’renotseriousaboutmewalkingaway,right?Youhadtohaveknownthatitwasagainstmywill.”
Iscoffed,lookingathimlikehe’dgrowntwoheads.“Againstyourwill?Thesecondyourbrothershowedupandstartedtocallmetrash,youshutdownandwalkedawaywithoutafight…”
AssoonasIsaiditoutloud,ithitme.WhyinHadeshadIneverthoughtofitbefore?Hisbrotherwaskingatthetimeandthereforehadthegiftthateverywolvenkinghad…
“Hecontrolledyou.”Isaiditwithcompleteshock,feelingbadlyforhowI’dtreatedhim,thinkingforallthoseyearsthathe’dwalkedawaywillingly.
“Yes,”hesaidthroughgrittedteeth,“andneverpermittedmetoreturntothesummercamp.Ican’tbelieveyouwouldthinkthatIleftyoulikethat.”
Myhearthammeredinmychestathiswords,andsomepartofme,deepdowninside,healed.Hedidn’tleaveme.Hewastakenawayfromme.Therewasadifference.
Axilleanedhisforeheadagainstmine,likeheusedtowhenwewerekids.“HowcouldyoueverthinkI’dwillinglyspendevenonedayawayfromyou?”
Iwhimperedthen,feelingmyownbreakdownjustbeneaththesurface.
“Mylord!”someoneshoutedinthehallway,thesoundmuffledbythecloseddoor.
Axilgrowledandsteppedawayfromme.Ispun,givinghimmybackjustasthedooropened.Ihadtobitemyliptokeepfromfallingintoafitofsobsrightthere.
“Ihaveanurgentmatterthatneedsyourattention,sir,”amalevoicesaidfromoutside.
Axilhesitated,probablylookingatmeandwaitingformyreaction.
“I’llbeoutinaminute,”Axilsaid.
“Mylord,it’sextremelyurgent,”theguardpressed.“Wehavenewsofwar.”
Mywolfbristledatthat.
War?
Axilreachedforme,graspingmyshoulders.“Let’stalklater.I’mnotdonewithyou.”
I’mnotdonewithyou.Therewasmore.Ofcoursetherewas.Therewasfiveyearsofabsencetoexplain.
Footstepsfellawayfrommeandthenthedoorshut.Icouldn’tholditinanylonger.CollapsingtothegroundIburstintocriesreminiscentofthenightAxilleftme.FathottearsfelldownmycheeksasIrelivedwhatI’dsaidtohimlastnight.HowI’dsquarelyplacedalltheblameonhim.
Hewastaken.Forcedtoleave.Itmadesense,howhe’dshutdownassoonashisbrothercaughtuslyingtogetherinthegrassandkissing.HehadbeensoemotionlessIthoughthewasembarrassedtobefoundwithme,butnowIknewhewasunderthecontroloftheking.ApowerthatAxilnowcarriedinhisveins,torenderanyoneofthewolvenunderhiscompletecontrol,likeapuppet.
That’swhatAnseldidtohim.
Thiswasalltoomuchtoprocesssoquickly.Axilhadpinedformethisentiretimeandwasheldagainsthiswillfromseeingme?
Itwascrazy.Surelynotforfiveyears?
Icriedsohardthen.IcriedforalltheyearsI’dblamedhim,forallthekissesthatwerestolenfromus.Theshockofthisnewinformationseepeddeeplyintotheverycoreofmybeing.
Hedidn’tleave.Butstayingawayforfiveyears?He’dbeenkingfortwo.Whynotcomeformethen?IhadsomanyquestionsbutIwastoooverwhelmedtodealwiththem.Suckingbackmytears,Iwipedatmyeyesandstood,forcingmyselftogetittogether.
Iwasgoingintoadoublesfightsoon,Ineededtostaystrong.
NomatterwhathappenedwithAxilandIwhenwewerekids,itdidn’tchangethefactthatweweredifferentpeoplenow.Iwasn’tthatsamelove-drunkyoungwolfhefellfor.Lifehadhardenedme,andsohadourbreak-up,whetherheintendedittoornot.
Takingasteadyingbreath,Ileftthelibraryandfoundmywaybacktothetentsoutside.CyruswaswaitingformeandweranoversomedrillsasIthrewmyselfintomytraining,pushingeverythingI’djustlearneddeepdowninsideofme.
Icouldn’tdealwithitrightnow;itwouldmakemeemotionalandemotionsmadeyouweak.I’dlearnedthattheadvisorshadagreedtopairElizaandmeupagainstIvannaandCharlizeandthatthefightwastomorrowmorning,andsoElizacamebywithhercoachandwetrainedtogetherinwolfformfirst,theninhuman.
“They’regoodtogether,”IoverheardCyrustellingEliza’scoach.
“Thatwouldbethepackbond,”Jonas,hercoach,saidwithabitofdisdaininhisvoice.
Icouldn’timagineanyonefromDeathMountainpackwashappyI’dalteredthepackbondsandbasicallystolenEliza.
“Mmm,”Cyrusjustgrunted,aboutasexcitedthatElizaandInowsharedapackbondasJonaswas.
IwonderedifAxilwasallowingustokeepthebondforthedoublesfightandwouldtakeElizabackintoDeathMountainpackoncewe’dwon.
Wewerewinning.Iwouldacceptnothingless.
Themorethenightpressedon,themoreIthoughtaboutAxil.Whatwarnewshadhebeentakenawaytotalkabout?Wehadn’tgonetowarinagesbutIknewtheotherrealmsfoughtwiththeNightfallqueenoften.Wasshefinallycomingforus?
HowcouldyoueverthinkI’dwillinglyspendevenonedayawayfromyou?
I’mnotdonewithyou.
Axil’swordsplaguedmeallnightasItriedtosleep,untilIachedtoseehimagain,tofinishwhatwestartedtoday.Ineededanswers.Ineededclosure.AsIpeeredoverthesideofmyhammock,InoticedCyruswasfastasleep,hisleghangingoutofhishammocklimply.
IslowlyslippedoutofmineandpaddedacrossthetentbarefootuntilIgotoutside.TwoofmypackmateswerechattingbythefireandIquicklythoughtupaliewhentheypeeredoveratme.
“GoingtoEliza’stotalkstrategyfortomorrow,”Itoldthem.
NotthattheywouldcarewhereIwasgoingortrytostopme,butIdidn’twantanyoneknowingAxilandIhadaromanticinvolvement.AsfarasIknew,onlyCyrusandDorianknewaboutitbecausethey’dbeentheonestopickupthepieceswhenIfellapartafterAxilleftmediscardedastrash.
Buthedidn’t,Iremindedmyself.HisstupidbrotherdidandyetIneededmoreanswersbeforeIbelievedallthat.
Imademywaythroughthetents,acrossthefrontlawnandthenrightuptothefrontdoorofthepalace.ItwaslateandIwaskindofhopingAxilwouldhavecometoseemebutIrealizedhemighteitherbebusydoingkinglythings,ornotwanttotalkaboutallthisstuffwithme.ButhehadtoldmewewouldtalklaterandIwasn’tgoingtobeabletosleeptonightunlessIknewwhyhedidn’tevensendanotetomeinfiveyears.
Iwalkeduptotheguardandpreparedabigspeech,becauseitwasforbiddentohaveanytypeofrelationshipduringthetrials.Ididn’twanthimtoknowthatIwasheretoseeAxil.ItwasthesameguardfrombeforesoIknewIdidn’thavetointroducemyself.
Iopenedmymouthtospeakwhenhebeckonedmecloser.“Areyouheretoseetheking?”hewhispereddiscreetly.Therewerestillsomewolveswalkingaroundthecourtyard.PeoplehadbeenpartyingeachnightoftheQueenTrialsandIknewifwordgotaroundthatAxilandIwereonceanitem…itcouldgetmeinmajortrouble.
MycheeksburnedredbutInoddedonce.
Withoutfurtherinterrogationhelefthisstationandturnedinside,walkingdownahallwayIhadn’tusedearlierintheday.
Ifollowedhimashemadetwistsandturnsuntilfinallywereachedanotherdoorwithadifferentguard.
Thatnewguardtookonelookatmeandopenedthedoortoaroom,gesturingthatIenter.“Thekingsaidthatifyoucamelookingforhim,youweretowaitinhere,”thenewguardsaid.“Heisfinishingupameeting.”
Hedid?MystomachdroppedwhenIthoughtofhowthoughtfulthatwas.Andclearlyhismenweren’tgoingtotelltheadvisorsIwashere.“Thankyou.”Idippedmychinandthenenteredtheroom,leavingbothguardsbehindme.TheyshutthedooranditwasinthatmomentthatIrealizedIwasinAxil’sprivatelivingquarters.Thespaceopenedintoagiantsittingroomwithadarkredvelvetsofaandaroaringfire.Iinhaledandhadtosuppressamoan.Itsmelledlikehim.Likepinetreesandmoss,andman.Steppingfartherintotheroom,Ipeeredtotheright,throughtheopendoubledoorsandmygazelandedonagiantbedwithredsilksheetsandacreamfurblanket.
Axil’sfavoritecolorhadalwaysbeenred.
Mymindthenwenttohowmanywomenhadseenthisbed.AccordingtoEliza’ssister,notmany.Ihadtofighttheurgetorifflethrougheverysingledrawerandcubbyhole.Ididn’tknowgrownKingAxil.Ionlyknewtheboy,theyoungprincewhoIwasn’tevenawarewasroyaltyatthetime.
YoungAxilwasanexpertmarksman.Hewasafuturealpha,themostdominantmanIevermet.Helikedtohuntelkinandsingsongsbythefirewithhisfriends.He’dtracedthefrecklesonmycollarboneandtoldmehowtheyremindedhimofcertainstarpatterns.Ireachedupandtouchedthatspotnow.
OlderAxilwasking.Stilldominant.Stillinlovewiththecolorred.ButIknewnothingelseaboutthisman.
Seeinganopenbookonthesofa,Iwalkedoverandpickitup.Examiningtheleathertome,Istrokedmyfingersalongtheauthor’sname.A.Grey.
OlderAxilreads.
JustasIwasabouttoflipthebookopenandseewhatitwasabout,thedooropenedbehindme.Istartledalittle,claspingthebooktomychestasmyheartjumped.
Axilstrodeintotheroom,tookonelookatmeandsmiled.“SeeingyouafterthedayI’vehadisaboutthebestthingIcanthinkof.”
Itwassweet,butIhadn’tfullyforgivenhimyet,soIignoredhiscomment.“What’sthebookabout?Awarmanual?”
Wasn’tthatwhatallkingsreadabout?
Hechuckled.“No.It’safantasytaleofayoungwomanwhocarriesbothlightanddarkmagic.Sheremindsmeofyou.”
MyheartstoppedbeatingthenandIsetthebookdownonthecouchbeforestandingtallagain.
“Oh?WhatdarknessdoIcarry?”Iasked,crossingmyarmsovermychestinaprotectivegesture.
Helookedregretfulatsayingthatbutsteppedcloseruntilhewasonlyafewinchesawayfromme.JustheandIstandinginfrontofthefire.Inhisroom.Adults.Alone.
“Well,whenwewerefifteenitwasthelossofyourparents.”Hereachedoutandstrokedmycheekanditsentazapofenergydownmyspine,causingmetoswallowhard.“Andnow…it’s…”Hisfacefell.“Myleavingyou.”
Hewasrightaboutallofit.Ididcarrythatdarknesswithmeeventothisday.
“Axil,Icanbelieveyourbrotherforcedyoumagicallytowalkawayfrommethatday…butthedayafter?Andthedayafterthat?I’msorrybutI’mnotstupid.Ican’tbelievethat.”
Henoddedandthenreacheddownandgrabbedthehemofhistunic.Istoppedbreathingwhenhestartedtopullitupoverhishead.
WhattheHadeswashe—
AwhimperlodgedinmythroatwhenIsawthenetworkofscarsacrosshisabdomen.IwasforcedtoblinkrapidlylestIfallintoapuddleoftears.Reachingup,Itracedafewofthethickjaggedlinesacrosshischest.“Theseweren’therebefore,”Icouldn’thelpbutsay.I’dstrokedhisbarechestunderthemoonlightmanytimes.Thatsummerwewouldshiftfromwolfformintohumanandputonthemostbasicofcoverings.Hewastoplessnearlytheentiresummer.
“IwasimprisonedfortwoyearsafterIwalkedawayfromyouthatday,”hesaid,hisvoicegrowlyandlow.
Shockrippedthroughme.Wasthiscommonknowledge?BecauseI’dheardnothingofit.Twoyears?
“Why?”
“MybrotherhadjustbecomekingandmyinstructorsatthetrainingcampsaidthatIwasperfectateverythingandifhedidn’twatchout,Icouldoverthrowhim.”
Iplacedmyhandovermymouthinanticipationofwhathewouldsaynext.
Axillookedpainedthen,likehedidn’twanttogobacktothatplaceinhismemoriesandIwantedtotellhimhedidn’thavetoexplainhimself,butitwouldbealie.Ihadtoknow.IfIwereevergoingtotrusthim,Ihadtoknoweverything.
“HebeatmeintosubmissioneverysingledayuntilhewassureIwouldneverchallengehim.Ibarelyate,heforcedmetobescrawnyandweak,”Axilsaidandmywolfrosetothesurface.
IwantedtohuntAnseldownrightnowandskinhimalive.Iinstinctivelysteppedcloser.Withoutthinking,IthreadedmyfingersthroughAxil’s,andhisfacerelaxed.
“Whenhefinallyletmego,Ihadtoplayitsafe.Ididn’tbulkuptoomuchatfirst,didn’tleadanyhunts.Iactedlikeamid-packdominant.”
Inodded.It’swhatIwoulddo.Survive.
“Itwasatthattime,afewmonthsafterheletmeoutofchains,thatIgotalettertoyou.”
Ifrowned,shakingmyhead.“Noletterevergottome.”
Hesighed.“Dorianreaditfirst.Hesentitbacktome.”
Mywholebodybrokeoutintochills.No.Hewouldn’t,notafterhearingmecrymyselftosleepformonths.Hewasagoodalpha,hewouldn’t.
“No.Idon’tbelieveyou.”IdroppedAxil’shand.
Axilnoddedandthenwalkedintothebedroom.Iwatchedinhorrorashewenttoanightstandandopenedadrawer.
No.AsmuchasIwantedAxiltopullanoteoutofthere,Ialsodidn’twanthimto.KnowingAxiltriedtoreachmewouldhealsomethinginsideofmebutknowingDorianbetrayedmewouldbreakmealloveragain.
AxilpulledawhitefoldednoteoutandIsuddenlyfeltsick.HewalkedtowardsmeandIcouldn’tlookawayfromallofthescarsonhischest.
“He’sagoodalpha.Agoodalphaknowswhat’sbestfortheirwolfandIrespectedthat,”Axilsaidbeforegivingmethenote.“Iwantedwhatwasbestforyoutoo,forus,”hewhisperedasourfingerstouchedwhileIwasretrievingthenotefromhim.
Igrowledatthat;agoodalphadidn’tletmecrymyselftosleepandthinkIwasworthlesstrash.IhadafeelingIwasgoingtoneedtositdownforthis.Droppingontothesofa,IopenedthenotequicklyandstartedtoscanAxil’smessyscript.
Zara,
WheredoIbegin?
Firstly,Ihopeyoudon’tthinkIwouldeverjustwalkawayfromyoulikethat.ButIfearfromthesobsIheardasIwasforcedtofollowmybrotherhome,thatyoudid.Mybrotherusedhisking’spoweroverme,forcingmylipsshutandmyheaddown.WhenwegotbacktoDeathMountain,heimprisonedmefortwoyears.
ForsevenhundredandthirtydaysIdreamtonlyofyou.
Ihadtostopreadingandcovermymouthasasoberuptedfrommythroat.ReadingthisletterinfrontofAxilwasbothrewardingandtortureatthesametime.
ThesofadippedandthenAxil’sfirmhandwasonmylowerback,rubbingsmallcirclesthere.Icontinuedreadingthelastfewlines.
Youmightnotstillwantme,andthat’sokay,becauseI’mnotreadytogiveyouthelifeIpromisedyou.Ineedsometimetodothat.ButIwantedyoutoknowI’mworkingonitandIpromiseonedayIwillsendforyou.
Mymate.
Myfuturewife.
Iloveyou,Zara.
Now.Forever.Always.
Axil
Iwhimpered,bitingtheinsideofmycheekstokeepfromcrying.ThenIflippedthenoteover,recognizingDorian’shandwritingimmediately.
Axil,
Younearlybrokeherlasttimeandit’sbeentwoyears,she’sfinallyoveryou.Don’twriteagainunlessit’stomakeheryourwife.Don’tshowupunlessit’stooffercourtship.I’lltearyouapartifIseeyouonmylandwithoutalifelongpromiseforthatgirl.
She’stoogoodforyourightnow.
Dorian
IsmiledatDorian’snoteandalltheangerIthoughtIwouldfeelformyalphafled.Atthetwo-yearmarkIwasfinallydoingokay.Ihadstarteddatingagainandwasnolongersulkingandhatingmylife.Dorianwasright,seeingthisletteronlytoreadthatAxilcoulddonothingtobewithme,wouldhavesentmeovertheedgeatthetime.
“Canyoubelievehesaidthattome?Thathewouldtearmeapart?Aprinceinlinetothethrone!”Axilchuckledbesideme.
I’dforgottenhewashere.Settingthenoteonmylap,Ifoldedandtuckeditintomypocket.“I’mkeepingit.It’smine,”Ideclared.
Hesaidnothing,onlynodded.
“Whydidn’tyoutellmeyouwereaprince?”
Hesighed.“BecauseIhadnointentionoftakingthethrone.Ididn’twantyoutoseemeassomeoneIwasn’t.Iwantednothingtodowiththisrole.Iwantedyou,andasmallhouseinavillagesomewherewithadozenkids.”
MyheartpinchedatthatstatementbutIneededmoreinformation.
“ThenwhydidyouchallengeAnselforkingship?Ifyoudidn’twantthatlife?”
Hesighed,runninghishandsthroughhisdarkhair.“Twoyearsincaptivitygavemealotoftimetothink.Ineverdreamedmybrotherwouldbecapableofsuchcruelty.Butknowinghecouldimprisonmeandcontrolmeforsolong…IknewIcouldn’tlethimstayking.ThatyouandIwouldneverbesafe.”
Ifrowned.“Iagree.Butthenwhydidyouletyourbrotherlive?Ifhe’dbeencontrollingyouagainstyourwillandyoufoughthimforkingandwon–whylethimkeephislife?”Iasked.I’dhavekilledhim.
Axil’swolfsurfacedthen,eyesglowingyellow.“Wolvenlawstatesthattwoheirsoftheroyalbloodlinemustbealiveatanygiventime.Ansel’swifewasunabletogivehimapup,soIhadtolethimliveuntilIcouldmarryandhavechildrenofmyown.”
Everythinghesaidmadesensebutmyheartstillhurtforhowthingswentdown.“You’vebeenkingfortwoyears…youcouldhavesentformethedayyouwerecrowned.”Ifumbledforreasonsnottoforgivehim.
“CouldIhave?”heasked.“OnceIbecamekingIrealizedthemistakeIhadmade.AkingmustonlytakeawifethroughtheQueenTrials.I’dtrappedmyself.Partofmewantedyoutoentertobecomemine,andtheotherpartwantedyoutostayintheMudFlatswhereyoucouldn’tbehurt.”
Thewindknockedoutofmylungsashereachedupandcuppedmyjawinhishands.“You’remymate,Zara.I’veknownthatsincewewerefifteen.Didn’tyou?”
ThosedamntearsthatusuallyneversurfacedwerebackandIblinkedthemawayquickly.“Ihoped,”Isaidsoftly.
Helookedatmyfacethen,nodoubtwaitingformyverdict.
Washeforgiven?
MyheartthunderedinmychestasIweighedhiswordsinthenote,alongwithDorian’sresponse,andthenfinallyAxil’sinvitationtobeckonmefortheQueenTrials.Thefirstnighthe’dseenmeattheregistrationdinnerhe’dsaidheregrettedinvitingme.ItwasbecausehefearedIwouldbekilledandhe’dhavetomarryanother.Hedideverythinghe’dsaidhewouldwhenwewerefifteen.ItjusttooklongerthanIthoughtitwould.
Ifinallypeeredupathim.“Youtooktoolong,”Itoldhim.
Hisfacefell,handsslippingawayfrommeandhenodded,lookingstricken.
Ihadn’tmeantitlikethat,likeitwastoolate.
Reachingout,Icuppedhischinanddrewmythumbsalonghisroughbeard.“Imean,I’vebeenwithoutyourlipsforfartoolong.”
Itwaslikesomethinginhimroaredtolifethen.Hereachedformeeagerly,graspingmyhipsandliftingmeintotheairuntilIwasstraddlinghim.Apealoflaughterescapedme.Heusedtoalwaysdothis,tossmearoundonthegrassasifIweighednothing.
I’dlovedit.Istilldid.
Ilookeddownathim,myhairfallinglikeacurtainaroundusasmylipshoveredabovehis.
“I’veachedforyousincethatdaymybrotherforcedmetoleave,”heconfessedandmyheartconstricted.AlltheseyearsI’dtoldmyselfhewasn’tmymate,myfuturehusband.Hewasn’ttheone.Forgethim.Hatehim.
“Metoo,”Ibreathedandthenourlipscrashedtogetherinablindpassion.Thiswasnoteenagelovekiss.Therewasnotempereddesire.Thiswasfiveyearsofpent-upyearning.Iopenedmylipsasourtonguesstrokedtogethereagerlyandhestoodquickly,holdingontomywaisttightlyashewalkedwithme.
Ididn’tneedtoaskwherehewasgoing.Thebed.TomorrowIcoulddiefightingIvannaandsotonightwouldbejustforus,tomakeupforallthenightswe’dsleptalone.HisfingersslippedupthebackofmytunicasheexploredmybodyandIgrippedthebackofhisneck,pressingmylipsharderintohis.
Therewasnothingquitelikeyourfirstlove.Yourheartfellfasterandharder,withoutrestraint,andeveryloveafterthatpaledincomparison.AxilwasthemanI’dcomparedeveryotherguyto.Theimpossiblefigureforanymantomodelthemselvesafter.AndnowIhadtherealthing.
HislegsknockedagainstsomethingandIpulledawayfromkissinghimforamomenttofindthatwe’dreachedthebed.WithouthesitationIpulledmytopoffandletmybreastsspringfree.Hisgazehoodedashetookmeinfully.
Thenhereachedforwardandkissedthesmatteringoffrecklesonmycollarbonethathealwaystracedwithhisfinger,thespotthathauntedmeforyearswhenIsawitinmyreflection.
Asmallclusteroffrecklesthatheparticularlyloved.
“I’msorryfortakingsolong,”hebreathed.“ButIpromisetospendforevermakingituptoyou.”Ifellbackonthebedthen,pullingoffmytrousersashedroppedhisown.EverythingaboutthiswasforbiddenandIdidn’tcare.
Ourforevermightjustbetonight,fortomorrowImightgotomeettheMaker.ButevenonenightwithAxilMoonwasbetterthanfiveyearswithouthim.EIGHT
LayingwithAxilandthensleepingnexttohimallnightfeltlikesomethingoutofadream.I’dimagineditsomanytimesinmyteenageyearsandevenafter.HewasfarmoretenderthanIfantasizedbutalsopassionate.Itriedtoslipoutofthebedquietlyandleave,buthegrowledanditmademesmile.
“Don’tyoudarebedmeandthenleavewithoutbreakfast,”hescolded.
Ilaughedforfallingintomyusualwayswithmen.Ihadonlybeddedtwoothersbutitwascasualandtherewasnobreakfastinvolved.
“Well,youbetterhurry,Ihaveafighttowin,”Itoldhim.
Hecrawledacrossthebedandyankedmyhand,forcingmetofallontopofhimlaughing.
Reachingout,hetracedmyhairline,lookingintomyeyeswithatendernessIneverrememberedbeingthereatfifteen.Perhapsthatcameinhistwoyearsofimprisonment.Itwaslikehewasgratefulforthesmallestthings.
“You’redamnstraightyoudo.”
Thatcausedmetogrin.“So…youthinkI’llwin?”Icouldn’thelpthesmilethatpulledatmycheeks.
“I’veseenyoufight,Zara.EvenwhenwewerekidsyouwerethestrongestwomanI’devermet.You’reasurvivor.Ihavenodoubtyouarethetoughestamongstthewolvenandwillbemyqueen.”
Iwantedtobehappyabouthiscomplimentbutinsteadbileroseinmythroat.MymindwasinfiltratedofanimageofsweetElizalyingdeadatmyfeet.Iknewthatmyphysicalstrengthwasunmatchedagainsther…butIhadanemotionalweaknesswherethatgirlwasconcerned.Mypackmate.Mysister.Icouldneverhurtahaironherhead.
“Ineedtogettraining,”Isaidsuddenly.
Hemusthavenoticedtheshiftinmymoodandreleasedme,nodding.
AservantcamebywithbreakfastandweatequicklyandthenIkissedhimgoodbye.IneededtogetintherightheadspaceforthisfightandbeingaroundAxilwasnotgoingtodothat.Ididn’twanttospendtoomuchtimewithmyprizebeforeI’dwonitandlosemyedge.
***
“We’vegotthis,”ItoldElizaandshenodded,thoughshelookedlikeshemightbesick.
Thecrowdhadamassedagainforourdoublesfight.Twomoregirlshadmadeitinfromtheoutskirtsjustbeforethecut-offtime:everyoneelsewasassumeddead.NowwhoeverwonthisfightbetweenIvanna,Charlizeandus,wouldfightthegirlswho’djustmadeitback.Theyweredehydratedandinjuredsoitwasn’tmuchofacompetition.
Axilsatonhisthrone,highabovethefightingring,asIlookedmybrotherintheeyes.Itrustedhimtogetmethroughthisandhealwayshadsageadvice,soIpreparedmyselftoabsorbwhateverhewasgoingtosaynow.
“Yousmelllikehim,”mybrothersaidandlookedupattheking.
Istiffenedathiswords,blushingandthenkickingmyselffornotbathingafterbeddingAxil.
ThatwasnotwhatI’dexpectedCyrustosay.
Leaningintome,mybrotherwhispered,“Usethat.GetinIvanna’sheadthatyou’vealreadywontheking.”
ThenhepulledbackandIswallowedhard,givinghimacurtnod.Mindgames.Hisspecialty.Insteadoftauntingheraboutsleepingwithhercoach,IwasgoingtoflauntwhoIwasbedding.Whatcouldgowrong?
Eliza’scoachreachedoutandplacedahandonbothEliza’sandmyshoulders,bringingusclosertogether.“UseyourpacklinkandthefactthatElizaisthebiggestwolfhere.”
Webothnodded:ithadalwaysbeenourstrategytouseEliza’slarge-sizedwolf.Hersizewasagreatasset.
IturnedtoEliza.“Doyoudrinkmead?”
Shefrowned,lookingconfused.“Notreally.I’mmoreofaglassofwinegirl…whenappropriateofcourse.”
Igrinned.Shewasadorableandsoproper.“Tonight,afterwewin,wegetsodrunkweforgetournames,”Itoldher.
Hercoachclickedhistongueindisapprovalatmywords.
ThatcausedasmiletoriseonEliza’slipsandIwatchedasheranxietyfled.“Deal.”
Wewereready.
Isteppedintothering,takingtheswordthattheadvisoroffered.Iwouldnotbestupidthistimeanddeclineaweapon.NotagainstIvanna.HeofferedonetotheopposingteamandIvannapickeditup.Itlookedlikewehadasimilarstrategy.Wewouldstayhumanandprotectourpartnerwhiletheyshiftedtowolfform.
Thebellhadn’trungyet,butIheftedtheweightofthebladeinmyhands,notdaringtolookatAxilforfearoflosingmyconcentration.Iwouldn’tallowmymindtowaver,Ihadtoberuthlessandunforgivinguntilthesetwowomenwereeitherdeadatmyfeetorontheirkneescryingforfeit.
Theadvisorraisedhishandtoquietthecrowd.“Thisfightmuststarthuman,onlyonepartnercanusetheweaponandonlyonepartnercanshiftintowolfform.Thisincludespartialshifting.”HelookedatIvannaandme.
WebothnoddedandIvannasteppedclosertome,hernostrilsflaringassheseemedtotakeinmyscent.HergazeflickedtoAxilandthenbacktomeandshegrowled.
Ifakeyawned.“I’msotired.Lastnightwasprettywild.”IchosethatmomenttolookatAxilandwinkandthenthebellrang.
IbarelyhadtimetolookbackatIvannaandshewasadvancingonmewithabattlecry.Ididsomethinginsanethen,somethingtoputmyselfatriskbutmakesurewewonthis.Crankingmyarmback,IchuckedtheswordrightatIvanna’spartnerCharlizeassheattemptedtochangeintoherwolfform.Thebladeleftmyfingersandsankintothegirl’schest,knockingherbackwardsontotheground.
Sheinstantlybledout,swordstickingoutofherchest.Adeathblow.
Wewerehalfwaythere.
Theassembledwolveswentwildatmyboldmove.
Therewasnotimetocelebrate.Iwasunarmednow,Elizawasmid-shiftbehindme,andIvannawasfullofrageintentondrivingthatsteelintomyneck.Ibarelyduckedoutofthewayasthebladewhooshedovermyhead.IdoveintoIvanna’sabdomen,takinghertothegroundandprayingshewoulddroptheswordintheprocess.
Shedidn’t.Wecrashedontotheharddirtandthenshetookthebuttoftheweaponandsmasheditintomybackrepeatedly.AgonyexplodedacrossmybackasIfoughttopinherarmsdownbutshewaslikeawildbeast,thrashingdownonmefromallangles.
Hurryup,Eliza!
Rearingmyheadback,IslammedmyforeheadintoIvanna’sandshecriedoutinpainasthecrowdroaredtheirapproval.SuddenlyIvanna’shipsthrustupwardsohardthatIwasthrownoffherandontomyside.
IhitthesolidgroundandthenIvannatriedtopulltheswordupbetweenus.Reachingout,Igrabbedahandfuloffinedirtandthrewitrightinherface.ShecoughedandsputteredandthenIscrambledtogetuptomyfeet.
ElizarantomysideinhergiantwolfformandInearlysighedinrelief.
Ivannastoodbeforeus,holdingherswordaloftandblinkinghereyesrapidlytoclearthedirt.
ElizagavemeawarningyipbutIhadalreadyseenIvannamakinghermoveandturnedinthatdirection.
Shewasheadedrightformewiththeswordheldout,andIknewI’dhavetogetalittleinjuredsothatElizacouldfinishher.I’dworkedthroughhundredsofbattlescenariosovertheyearswithmybrother.We’drundrillssinceIwasayoungpup.Iwasmadeforthis.Butthisscenario,beingstuckinhumanformwithsomeonecomingatyouwithabladewhenyouwereunarmed,wastheworst.
Controlwhereyouropponenthurtsyou.Mybrother’sadvicecamebacktomeasiffloatingonamemorycloud.
ThiswasgoingtohurtbutIhadnochoice.Reachingoutwithmyhands,Igraspedthebladewithmyfingersandsqueezedashardaspossibletostoptheweaponfromgoringmystomach.Thecrowdgasped,andevenAxil’svoicewasamongthem.Red-hotpainflaredtolifebetweenmyfingersandIcouldn’thelpthewailofagonythatrippedfrommythroat.MywolfwantedfreedombutIhadtosuppressherasperthefightrules.Mynaturalinstinctwastoletgoofthebladeandendthemisery,butIforcedmyselftoholdontoitinanefforttokeepmygutsinmystomach.
IheldIvanna’smurderousgazeasshescreamedinmyface,pushingthehiltofthebladewithallhermight.WhenEliza’sshadowpassedoverIvanna,herfacewentslackandIlookedawayasElizatookIvanna’sheadintohergiantjawsandrippeditfromherbody.
HerskullhitthegroundwithathudandIvanna’sbodystayedstandingforamoment,whichhorrifiedme.
Idroppedtheblade,mybloodyhandsshakingasherlegsfinallycrumpledandherbodyfelltothefloor.
Thewayofourpeoplewassomethingthathadgoneonforcenturies,itwasraw,animalisticandinstinctualbutthatdidn’tmeanIwasn’ttraumatizedbyit
IlookedatEliza,thebloodstaininghermouth,andreadthehorrorinherexpression.We’dsurvivedbutwewouldneverbethesameafterthis.
Allthemeadintherealmwouldn’twipethatmemoryfromourmindsbutIwassureasHadesgoingtotry.Thecrowdwaschantingournames,andthenCyruswastherewithcleanlinensonmyhandswhileElizashiftedtohumanform.Iflinchedashepatchedmeup,pressingdownflapsofskinovermypalmsthathadbeencut.ThenImovedmygazetoAxil.Therewasprideinhiseyesbutitwasmixedwithsomethingelse.
Fear.
Whatwashescaredof?OurnextfightwouldbehardwithmeinjuredbutIheardthegirlswereneardeadsoitwasn’tgoingtobethatdifficult.
Axilclearedhisthroattomakeanannouncementandthewolvesquieted.
“ThethirdteamthatmadeitbackfromthedeadlandsandwassupposedtofightthewinnershasfledtoCinderMountain,forfeiting—”
Boosfilledthespaceandashockranthroughme.
“Theyarenowoutcastsandwillbetornapartiftheyeverreturn.ThatmakesElizaandZaraourfinaltwochampions.”
Iknewnowwhyhelookedfearful.
NausearoiledthroughmeasIcametotherealizationthatmynextfightwouldbeagainsther.Mypacksister.
No.
Sheseemedtorealizeitatthesamemoment.
“Iwon’t,”shesaidquietlybesidemeandmybrotherstiffened.
Inodded.“Iwon’teither.Don’tthinkofit.Fornow,wecelebrate.”
Shedippedherchin,butthesicknessinmystomachdidn’tleaveme.
Themeadstartedtoflowthen,thepacksfromalloverbegantopouritdownmythroatsinceIcouldn’tusemybandagedhands.
EveryhouronthehourElizaandIwerehoistedintotheairandcarriedaroundthetentedfieldwhileeveryonechanted,“Champions.”
Bythefourthpintofmead,ElizaandIwerecacklinginlaughteratanysmallthing.Axilhadevencometojointhepartywhichhadassembledatthebonfireinfrontofmytent.Itwashardtogetdrunkasashifter:weburneditofftooquickly,butIwaswellandtrulybuzzedrightnow.
“Youthrowingthedirtinhereyeswassocool!”alittlewolvengirltoldme.“I’musingthatmoveonedaywhenI’mchosenaschampion.”
Ismiledather.“We’llmakesureyouhaveagoodcoach.”Itriednottoslurandthelittlegirlnodded.
Hermothergavemeaknowingsmileandtoldthechilditwastimeforbed.
Bythetimetwomorehourshadpassed,itwaslateandmosteveryoneelsehadgonetosleep.Eliza,Cyrus,AxilandIwerestompingaroundthefireinacircle,singingsongsofoldwhileshakingourhalf-drunkpintsofmead.Everythingfeltnumbandgoodandtheblood-soakedgauzeonmyhandswasadistantmemory.AfewwolvenfrommypackwereplayingsongsonthedrumswhenAxilaskedmetodance.
ElizaknewthatmyheartbelongedtohimandsoIknewshewouldn’tmindifwedanced.Thoughrelationshipswiththekingwereforbidden,surelyadancewouldn’tproveanythingtoanyone.
Ithrewmyarmsaroundhisneck,carefulofmyhealinghandsashegrippedmywaistandweswayedtothemusic.Withthemeadflowingthroughmysystem,Ihadnofilterlefttocovermywords.
“Ineverstoppedlovingyou,”Iwhisperedintohisearashegrippedmetightly.“EvenwhenIhatedyou,Ilovedyou.”
TherehadbeenanAxil-sizedholeinmyheartthatwasnevergoingtobehealedbyanyoneexcepthim.
Hislipsbrushedagainstmyear.“I’velovedyoufromthatfirstdayatcamp,Zara,”hesaidandmystomachfluttered.“Andthat’swhyyouhavetokillElizatomorrow.”
MybodywentrigidandIpulledbackwithwideeyes.IshookmyheadvigorouslyandAxilleanedhisforeheadagainstmine.“Onlythelastwolfstandingcanbemywife,Zara,”hesaidandthemeadsuddenlyflushedfrommysystem.Sobriety,mixedwithhorror,rushedthroughme.
CouldIkillher?Tobewiththeloveofmylife?
IglancedacrossthefiretoseeElizalaughingandwithmyolderbrother.Shewassocarefree,hersmilesogenuineandherlaughfullofsuchinnocence.Shewasn’tmadeforthiscompetitionandyetsomehow,shehadfoughtherwaytothetop.
Asisterforahusband?
IdroppedmyhandsfromaroundAxil’sneckandtookastepback.“I’mbeat.Ineedsomesleep,”Itoldhim.
Concernflashedacrosshisfaceandhenodded.“Doyouwanttocometomy—”
Ishookmyhead.“I’llsleepwithmypack.Lastnight,”Isaid.
TomorrowIwouldbedead,orhiswife.
Henodded,swallowinghard,andEliza’slaughterdieddownasshelookedoveratme.“Goingtobed?”
Ibobbedmyhead.“I’mexhausted,”Ilied.Iprobablywouldn’tsleepawink.KillingsomeoneIhadgrownsoclosetowasn’tsomethingIwassureIwascapableof.
Shefrowned.
Thetensionofourrealityhungintheairlikeatangiblething.AxiltooktwostepstowardsEliza.“Comeseemefirstthinginthemorning,Eliza.I’llbreakyourtemporarypackbondandtakeyoubackintoDeathMountainpack.”
Temporary?ThathurtandyetIknewithadtobedone.Icouldn’tfightapackmatetothedeath.Itwasinsane.
Herfacewascompletelyvoidofanyemotionandshejustnodded.
Thedrumshadstoppedandmybrotherseemedtopickupontheawkwardnessofthiswholething.“Well,weshouldgettobed.Goodnight,everyone,”hesaidtoallthosewhostilllingeredatthebonfireandthenwalkedovertome,physicallypushingmeinsideourtent.
Ilookedupatmybigbrotherwithtearsswimminginmyeyesandwassurprisedtoseethathetoolookedemotional.
“Cyrus,Ican’t,”Iwhimpered.
Hereleasedashakybreath.“Youhaveto,Zara.”
Ididn’tsignupforthis,tokillsomeoneIcaredabout!
Itoreacrossthetentandthenslippedintomyhammock,coveringmyfacewiththefurblanketsothatIcouldhidefromtheworld.
Itwasn’tfairandIcouldn’tdoit.Iheardthehissingofthefireasmybrotherputitoutwithabucketofwaterandthenmypackmateswhisperedastheybideachothergoodnight.TheyallslippedintotheirhammocksasIlayawake,thebuzzofthemeadfullywornoffthankstomyrapidhealing.Myhandsbarelyhurtanymore,alreadymending,andmymindwasacompletemess.IwasplaguedwithmemoriesofAxilandourlovestory.Whomeetstheirmateatfifteenyearsold?ButthenmymindwouldbringupmemoriesofEliza.Howshe’ddonenothingbutprotectmeandwatchmybacksinceIgothere.Sheneededme.
LikeAxilhadsaid,Iwasnothingifnotloyal.ButwhoshouldIbeloyalto?MyloveforAxil?OrforEliza?Itossedandturnedforhours,longafterCyrusandtheothersfellintoadeepslumberandstartedsnoring.
Ijustlaythere,mymindspiralingasIstaredoutoftheopenflapofthetentandlookedupatthemoon.
Maker,helpme.Iprayedforthefirsttimeinalongtime.Thiswastoomuchtobear.NINE
IknewIwouldn’tsleep;I’dcometotermswiththat.Instead,Ijustlayawakeasthehourstickedby.FootstepssoundedoutsideandIperkedupwhenIsawashadowcrossoverthetent.SuddenlyElizawasstandinginthedoorwayandforawildsecondIthoughtshemeanttoassassinatemebeforeourfightandIwelcomedit.
Takethedecisionfrommeandjustenditall,Ibegged.
Butshewasn’tholdingaweaponandshelookedlikeshe’dbeencrying.Shewalkedrightuptomyhammock,staringdownatme.
“Can’tsleep?”shewhisperedtome.
IshookmyheadandshenoddedthatIshouldfollowheroutside.Isatup,steppingoutofthehammockandfollowedherintothecrispcoolnight.ItwaschillyandsoIpulledmyfurcloakontokeepmewarm.
“What’sup?”Iasked,prayingshewouldn’tbegmetospareherlife.
Sheturnedtofacemewithaneeriecalmness.“IsaidgoodbyetomyfamilyafewhoursagoandthentriedtoescapetoCinderMountain,”shesaidflatlyandIgasped.
“Youwha—whathappened?”Ilookedathermorecloselynow,noticingsomedirtandcutsonherarms.
Shesighed.“TheadvisorshavetheentiremountainsurroundedbyRoyalGuards.Aftertheothertwogirlsfled,noonecangetout.Theywanttheirlastfight,theywanttheirqueen.”
Myheartbrokethen.She’dtriedtoleave,togivemeachancetowinwithoutanyonegettingkilled.Shefailed.
“Eliza,Ican’t—”
Sheheldupahandandthenfinallymetmygaze.“Ineverexpectedtomakeitthisfar,”shesaidwithasmile.“MyfamilyunderstandsthesituationandtomorrowI’mgoingtoforfeit.”
Myeyesflewwide.“Youcan’t,you’llberippedapart!”
ShelookedinsidethepacktentandthenpulledmefartherawaysothatIwouldn’twakeanyone.
“I’llforfeit,”Itoldherboldly.
Sheshookherhead.“ThenyougetrippedapartandImarryAxil.Doyoureallywantmebeddinghimfortherestofmylife?”
Agrowlformedinmythroatandshechuckled.“That’swhatIthought.Youguysaremates.You’rethestrongerofthetwoofus.Youdeservetobequeen.”
Anunexpectedsobshookmybodyandshepulledmeinforabone-crushinghug.Icriedthen,forwhatfeltlikethetenthtimesinceIgottothisdamnmountainandsheheldme,keepinghercomposuretheentiretime.
“You’resocalm,”ItoldherasIpulledaway.
Shenodded.“I’vemademypeacewiththesituation,Zara.Comeon,Iwanttoshowyoumyfavoriteplaceinthewholecity.Whenyouarequeen,youcangotheretowatchthesunriseandrememberme.”
Hookingherelbowintomine,shepulledmeafterher,butmymindwasstillplayingcatch-up.
Rememberher.
Shewantedmetorememberherbecauseshewasgoingtodie?Iwalkedinanumbsilencebesideheraswehikedaroundthecastleandupthemountainthatloomedbehindit.She’dalreadymadepeacewithherownpacktearingherapart?AndIwassupposedtositbyandwatchithappen?
“Eliza—”
“Shh,Iwantmylastnighttobehappy,”shecutmeoffandanothersoblodgedinmythroat.Wehiked,arminarmpastafewRoyalGuardsforagoodtwentyminutesuntilwereachedaflatbenchofrock.Therewesatandlookedoutontothemoonlightwhichlitupthevastexpanseofland.
Itwasdark,withonlythemoonlighttoilluminateitandyetitwasstillsopretty.FromthisvantagepointIcouldseethedozensofpatrollingguardsallaroundtheperimeterofthemountain.Wewerestuckhere.Ourfatewassealed.
“I’mgladit’syou,”Elizasaidfinally,startlingme.We’dbeensittingnexttoeachotherinsilenceforsometime.
Ilookedatherandshewaspeeringatthecastlebelowandthecitythatstretchedoutbeyond.
“I’mgladyouwillbeourpeople’squeen.”
Ididn’tknowwhattosaytothat.Istillwasn’tsureIwasokaywithwhatshewasdoing.Forfeitingtomeandgettingtornapart?Therehadtobeanotherway.
“Maybeifthosetwogirlswhoranoffwerefound—”
Elizareachedoutandgraspedmyfingerstoquietme,thensheleanedbackontherockandIfollowedher,lyingonmybackandlookingupatthestars.
“WhenIwasyoungeritwashardformetomakefriends.Youknowhowitisbeingadominantfemale,”shesaid.
InoddedbecauseIdidknow.Theotherdominantgirlssawyouascompetitionandthesubmissivesweretooscaredtobearoundyoufortoolong.Youendeduphangingwiththeguysmostofthetimeyetstillfeelinglonely.
“IneverreallyfeltlikeIbelongedhere.ButwhenyoutookmeintoMudFlatpack…itwashardtodescribe.”Ilookedoverather.Shewassmilingwistfullyupatthestars.“Ifelt,forthefirsttimelikeIhadarealpackfamilyandasisterhood.”Shesqueezedmyhand.
Ihatedthis.Ihatedthatshewassayinggoodbye.
“I’llfiguresomethingout,”ItoldherbutIknewmywordswerealie.Whatwastheretodo?Stopatraditionthatwasoverathousandyearsold?We’dbothbetornapart.Thewolvenpeopleneededastrongqueenandthiswashowtheychoseher.IwasasmuchavictimtothecircumstanceasElizawas.
Wecontinuedtoholdhandsasthenightdraggedonandsleeppulledatmylimbs.ItmustonlyhavebeenafewhoursbeforesunrisebutIcouldfeeltheheavinessofexhaustionpressingdownonme.Eliza’sbreathingevenedoutandIclosedmyeyes,onlyforasecond,andfellasleep.
“Wakeup.Look!”Eliza’svoiceinfiltratedmybrainandmyeyelidssnappedopen.Iwasdisorientedforamoment,wonderingwhereIwasandwhyIwasbeingwoken.Icouldeasilygoforanothertenhours’sleep.ThickgrogginessweighedmedownbutthenIrememberedI’dfallenasleepontherockwithElizaandtodaywasourfight.
IsprangintoasittingpositionandgaspedwhenIsawwhatwasbeforeme.Therealmthatwasoncebathedindarknesswasnowcoveredwithorangesandpinksacrosstheentirehorizon.ThesunlightkissedthelandasfarastheeyecouldseeandIwasshockedathowfarthevisibilitystretchedfromhere.IcouldalmostseetheedgeoftheMudFlats,blurryinthedistance.
IlookedoveratElizatoseeasingletearslidedownhercheek.Shewassofilledwithlifeandinnocence,Ijustcouldn’tallowthattobeextinguished.ItwasinthismomentthatIrealizedshewouldmakeanamazingqueen.Theloveofherpeopleandthislandwasexactlywhataqueenshouldhave.Ireachedoutandsqueezedherhand,comingtotermswithmyownfuturejustasshedid.
“Isn’titbeautiful?”
Inodded.“Breathtaking.”
Wesatinsilenceforanotherfewmomentsandthenthepeoplebegantomovedownbelow,stokingtheirfiresandcookingtheirbreakfast.
“Axilwantedtoseeme,”shesaid.
Inodded.“I’llgowithyou.”
Westoodandthenmadeourwayoffthemountainandpasttheguardswhowatcheduscarefully,ahandonthebladeattheirhip.
Whenwereachedthefrontdoorsofthecastle,theguardsteppedasidewithoutquestionandletusin.WewereinstructedtogotothedininghallwherewefoundAxilsittinginfrontofanuntouchedplateoffood.
Itseemedweweren’ttheonlyonespreoccupiedaboutthebattletocome.Elizawashiswolf;he’dgrownupwithher.KnowingIhadtokillhertobewithhimcouldn’thavesatwellwithhim.
“Eliza,Zara,thanksforcoming.”Heplasteredonafakesmileasweapproached.
Elizastoodbeforehimandextendedherwrist.“IthinkthiswillbeeasieronallofusifIrejoinDeathMountainpackbeforethefight.”
Axil’sfakesmilefalteredbuthenodded.“Iagree.”
Thenhelookedatme,asifaskingifitwereokay.ItwashardtoexplainbutIfeltlikeEliza’salpha.Ididn’treallyknowhowallthatworkedsinceDorianwasmyalphabut…shefeltlikemine.
Ibittheinsideofmycheekandnodded.ForsomereasonIwassad.Ididn’twanttofeelthegapingholeleftbehindbyher,thesameholethatanypackmemberleftwhentheywenttomarryandjoinanotherpack.Butshe…shewasmine,I’dclaimedherandwe’dworkedtogethertostayaliveoutthereinthedeadlands.
Axilshiftedhisfingerstoclawsanddraggedthemacrossherarm,forcingbloodtocometothesurface.Thenhescratchedhisownarm,mixingtheblood.
MyheartbeatwildlyinmychestandIcouldfeelEliza’shesitation.Shedidn’twanttodothiseither.ShewasMudFlatpacknowanditfeltsoright.ButI’dtakenherinasapacksisterwithoutpermissionofmyalpha,orhers,andsoIknewthismustbedone.
AxilmumbledunderhisbreathandIfeltasharpsuddensqueezingatmyheart,ElizagaspedandIknewshe’dfeltittoo.IlookedatAxilandhisbrowsweredrawnintoaknotatthecenterofhisforehead.HemumbledwordsunderhisbreathandagainIfeltthatpaininmyheartbutElizawasstillthere.Ifeltherstrengthandinnocence.
Axilreleasedashakybreathandthenstaredatme.“Yourbondistoostrong.Ican’ttakeherback.”
ElizahadthisresignedlookonherfacebutIfelthorrifiedbythewholething.Itwasjustproofthatwewerefamilynow.
“Willyougiveusamoment?”Iaskedher.
Shenodded,squeezingmyshoulderasshepassed.“I’llgoseemyparentsandsisteronelasttimeandthenmeetyouinthering.”
Bileroseinmythroatatthatandthensheleft.Thesecondthedoorclosed,IrushedintoAxil’sspace.“Ican’t,Axil.Iwon’t.IloveyoubutIcan’tkillher.”
Heswallowedhard,nodding.“She’sgoingtoforfeit.”
Ifroze.“Howdidyouknow?”
“Shecametomelatelastnightandtoldme.”Helookedsickaswell.“AndIhaven’tsleptsince.Ineverexpectedhertomakeitthisfartobehonest.Youmadeherstronger,youturnedherintoatoughcontender.”
Idid.Iprolongedtheinevitable.Stupidme.
“Canyou…Idon’tknow,talktotheadvisors?Axil,she’smypackmate,thetrialsaresupposedtobeonewomanfromeachpack.”
Hewouldn’tmeetmygaze,hewasstaringathisplateoffood.“Itried.Anhourago.Theysaidthestrongestwomanmustbequeenandthat’swhythetrialsweredesignedthisway.Thepeoplewillacceptnothingless.”
Ireachedupandrubbedthebackofmyneck.“Whatifyoucalloffthetrial?Don’tgetmarried.”Isuddenlyblurtedout.“Idon’tneedtobequeen,Icanjustbeyourlover,insecret—”
Hepulledmeintohisarmsthenandmythroattightened.“Theywillnotletmeremainkingwithoutaqueenandeventuallyanheir.”
Right.Thebloodlinemustgoon.
Ilethimholdme,releasingallthetensionIwascarryingsinceElizaandIhadkilledIvannaandCharlize.Eitherway,nomatterhowyouslicedit,ElizaorIweregoingtodietoday.
“Canyoumakeitalawthatyoucanforfeitbutstillkeepyourlife?”
AxillookedatmeasifIwereasmallchild.“Thatisthelaw.It’sthepeoplewhohavetakenituponthemselvestokillapackmemberforforfeiting.”
Ifelttrapped.
Pullingbackfromhim,Ifinallyforcedhimtomeetmygaze.“Tellmewhattodo,”Ibegged.
Letherforfeit?ShouldIforfeit?Trytorunandlettheguardskillme?Ijustneededsomeoneelsetomakethedecisionforme,totakeawaytheburden.
Hefrowned.“Youreallyloveher,don’tyou?Likeasister?”
Inodded.“Inevershouldhavebefriendedher.Butit’stoolatenow.Andshesavedmylifeoutthereinthedeadlands.She’ssoloyalandinnocent—”
Hereachedupandtracedmybottomlip,stoppingmywords.“I’mselfish.Iwantyouasmywifeandqueen,sodonotaskmewhatyoushoulddo.Iwilldisappointyou.”
Ifrownedatthatbutappreciatedthehonesty.
Reachingout,hetracedmyjawlinewithhisfinger.“DowhatyoucanlivewithandIwillmakesurewearetogether.”
Ichewedmylip.HowcouldhemakesureweweretogetherifIforfeitedandthengotrippedapartbymypack?Hewasdaydreamingaboutascenariothatdidn’texist.
IknewIhadtogetoutofthereandyetIwasn’treadytosaygoodbyetoAxil.Iwishedwe’dhadmoretime,morekisses,moreeverything.
BecauseasmuchasIlovedAxilandwantedtobewithhim,therewasnowayinHadesIwaslettingElizadieonmyaccount.Iwouldforfeit,thecrowdwouldtearmeapartandElizawouldbequeen.WouldAxilloveherlikehelovedme?No.Notatfirst,butIhopedtheycouldgrowtoloveeachotherintheirownwayandoffercompanionship.
TherewerenowordsforthissituationsoIletmybodydothetalking.Reachingup,IgraspedAxil’schinandpulledhismouthtomine.Hisbodyimmediatelyrespondedandhisfingersclutchedmyhips,pressingmetightlytohim.Mymouthopenedashistongueslidacrossmineandmyheartactuallyachedinthismoment.KissingAxilwaslikebreathingandIdidn’tknowhowIhadgonesolongwithoutit,withouthim.Myinnerfifteen-year-oldlovesicklittleteenagerhadsecretlyprayedforthismoment.Forourreunification,andnow…itwasover.
Asingletearslippeddownmycheekandlandedonourlockedlips,tracingourkissandsealingitforever.
Hestiffenedthen.
Heknew.
Heknewwhatmychoicewouldbe.
Pullingback,Ikissedhisnoseandgavehimaweaksmile.“Iloveyou,AxilMoon.Now.Forever.Always,”IsaidandthenIsteppedback,hishandsfallingawayfrommeashisfacewentslack.Icouldn’tlookathimanymoreandsoIturnedandlefttheroom,walkingawayfromhimlikehewalkedawayfrommewhenIwasfifteen.TEN
Iwantedtocry,butthatwasaweaknessIcouldn’taffordrightnow.Ineededtogooutintothiscrowdandlookasstrongaspossible.AndsoIsuckedallofmystormingemotionsdownandtraversedthehallways,makingmywayoutside.ThesecondIapproachedmypack’stent,Ifeltmykneesgoweak.
“Zara!”Osloranformeandthencrashedintomystomach,wrappinghisarmsaroundmymiddle.
No.Nothim.MygazesearchedthecrowdofpeoplenowinfrontofmytenttoseethatDorian,Amaraandnearlytheentirepackhadcome.
No.
Oslopulledbackandlookedupatme.“Areyousurprisedtoseeus?”heasked,givingmeahugesmile.
Iwasinshock,myheartflutteringasIimaginedmylittlebrotherwatchingDorianripoutmythroat.
Icouldn’tspeak.
Doriansawmethenandgrinned.“WhenIheardyou’dmadeittothefinalfight,Ihadtobehere.”Hesteppedoverandliftedmeintotheair.NormallyIwouldsmile,orsaysomethingsnarkybutagain,Iwasspeechless.
Doriansenseditthen,somethingrestlessinmysoul.Hesetmedown,frowning,andmetmygaze.
“Allwell,littlewolf?”
Iswallowedhard,glancingaroundatmypackmatesnervously.
“Let’sgivethemsomespace,”Amarasaidandthepackclearedthefirepitarea,clappingmeonthebackastheypassed.
WhenitwasjustCyrusandDorian,Ilookedmyalphaintheeyesandheldhisstare.
“YouheardIbroughtoneofthegirlsintoMudFlatpacktosurvive?”Iaskedhim.
Henodded.“Ifeltit.Stilldo.”Hetappedhischest.
Ifigured.“Axiltriedtobreakthebondthismorningandtakeherback.Hecouldn’t.It’stoostrong.”
MybrotherletacursewordflyandrubbedthebackofhisneckinanxietybutDorianjustnodded.“Isee.”
Didhe?DidheknowwhatIwasabouttodo?
HeopenedhismouthtospeakwhenIheardmynamecalledandturned.Oneoftheelderwolvenadvisorswasstandingbehindmewithtwoguards.
ItwastimeandDorianwouldfindoutmyplansoonenough.Bestnottoworryhim.
Iturnedbackaroundandpulledthebigalphainforahug.“You’reagoodman,Dorian,andyouwereagreatalpha,”Iwhisperedintohisearashisarmstightenedaroundme.
WhenIpulledback,helookedsurprisedatmywords,hiseyebrowsknottedinthecenterofhisforeheadinconfusion.
Iwalkedovertomycoach,mybigbrother,andpulledhiminforahugnext.“Don’tletOslosee.Keephiminthetent,”Itoldhimandhenoddedagainstmyshoulder.CyruswascluelesstomyplanaswellbutheknewIwasprotectiveovermylittlebrotherandprobablyjustthoughtIdidn’twanthimtoseemegetinjuredorkillEliza.
Afterturningfrommypack,Ifollowedtheguardstothefightingring.Ihadbarelyslept,Ihadn’teatenandnausearolledthroughmystomachasthecrowdchantedmyname.IlookeduptoseeAxilsittingonhisthrone:todayheworethesharp-bladedcrownofthekingwolven.HisbrotherAnselstoodbesidehim,glaringatmewithhiswifeJadeathisside.
Thiswouldpleasehisbrother,toseethatwewouldnotenduptogether.HislittlebrotherandkingwouldnotmarryMudFlattrashafterall.
IturnedmyattentiontothecenterofthedirtcircletoseeEliza,standingtallandbeamingatme.
“Norulesforthisfight!Anythinggoes!”theelderadvisorshoutedbehindme.
IwalkedrightuptoElizaandplacedmyhandsonhershoulders.“Begoodtohim,”Itoldherandshefrownedinconfusionatmywords.
ThebellrangandIspun,givingElizamyback.
Itippedmychinhighandraisedmyvoiceforalltohear.“IhavenodoubtIamthestrongestwolfinthisring.ButElizaGreenismypackmate!Weforgedabondsostrongeventhekinghimselfcouldnottearitaway.”
Therewereshockedgaspsfromtheonlookersandevenhowlsaspeoplesteppedclosertome,knowingwhatIwasabouttodo.
“AndeventhoughI’velovedthatmansinceIwasfifteen,”IpointedtoAxil,“Icannothurtmypacksister.”Elizacrashedintome,wrappingherarmsaroundmefrombehind,sobbing.
“No,”shesaidbutIignoredher.
“I,ZaraSwiftwaterofMudFlatpack,for—”
“Istepdownasking!”Axilcriedout,cuttingoffmywordsandmyentirebodywentlimp.Icouldbarelyholdmyselfupasshockrippedthroughme.Thecrowdsharedmysentimentastheywaveredontheirfeet,gasping,booingandscreaming.
Dorianwassobowledoverbytheking’scommentthathespunhisattentionawayfrommeandwebothfacedAxil.
“ThelawstatesthattheQueenTrialmustendifakingeverstepsdownfromdutyandhandshiscrownover,”Axilsaidandthenwalkeddownfromthethroneandstrodeovertohisbrotherandhisbrother’swife.Anselwasasstillasasnakebeforeitwasabouttostrike.Axilfacedhimandtookinadeepbreath.“I’llgiveyoubackthetitleofAlphaKingifyouletZaraandIrunawaytogether.Youwillneverseemeagain,”hetoldhim.
Iknewthenthathe’dplannedthisallalong,thatifitlookedlikeImightlosehe’dalwaysbeenreadytodothis.Hisvoicedidn’tshake,hewassocalm,likehe’dplanneditformonths.
Thecrowd’sboosgotlouderandIdidn’tknowifitwasbecausetheyneverlikedAnselanddidn’twanthimaskingagain,oriftheyhatedAxil’sweakactofsteppingdown.Aswolveswefoughtfordominance,wedidn’tgiveitaway.Butasakingwithintheroyalbloodlineandnoheir,atleasttwoofthemneededtostayaliveuntilAnselhadachild.
“Igiveyoumyword,”Anselsaid,lookingtotheroyalwolvenadvisorswhonoddedonebyoneandreliefwashedoverme.
ThetwobrothersshookonitandthenAxiltookthesharp-bladedcrownfromhisheadandslicedhisarmwithit.
Anseldidthesameandtheysharedbloodontheblade.IknewinthatmomentthatthepowertocontroleveryotherwolvenhadjustpassedtoAnsel.Hewasnowking.
Anselgrinnedashetookthecrownandplaceditonhishead.Axilnoddedtohim,walkingawayfromhisbrotherasifhehadn’tjustgivenawayanentirekingdomandbirthright!
IpeeredatDorian,wild-eyed,wonderingifhewouldletmewalkawayfromthis.HemusthaveknownwhatIwasabouttodo:toforfeitasacoward.AndtorunawaywithAxilmeantI’dbeleavinghispack.I’dneedpermissionforthat.
TherewasasoftnessinDorian’sgaze,oneheusuallylacked.Withonecurtnodfromhim,IrushedforwardintoAxil’sarmsandheliftedmeofftheground,spinningmearound.
Theboosgotlouderandthecrowdpushedincloser.Theywantedtheirfight,notaforfeitandlossoftheirstrongestking.
Anselwasadecentenoughkingbuthenowwalkedwithalimp,whichwasseenasaweakness,andhewaskindofcruelinmyopinion.
“Weneedtogetoutofhere,”Axilwhisperedtome.“WecangotoThorngate.Lucienwillhideus.”
LucienThorne?Thefaeking?
Ijustnodded,tryingtoprocessitallaswepushedourwayoutofthecrowdwithEliza,Cyrus,Dorianandmyotherpackmateskeepingthemassatbay.
“Wedon’twantAnselasourking!”someoneyelled.
“Youcoward!”anotherspat.
“Kingcoward!”
“Queencoward!”
Queencoward,I’dearnedanicknamebeforeevenbecomingqueen.Thatmightbearecord.
Butthecrowdseemedsplitbecauseasmanypeoplewho’dtriedtorushusandattack,thatmanyormorepushedthemoutoftheway.
“Letthemgo!”
“Theyhavehonor!”
“Shewasloyaltoherpacksister!”
“They’remates!”
Iabsorbedeverythinggoingonaswemadeourwaytotheedgeoftheforestandtheuncertaintythatlaybeyond.FleetoThorngate?LeaveourkindandthelandsofFallenmooreforever?ItfeltsowrongandyetwhenAxilslippedhisfingersintomine,itfeltsoright.
I’dnotreallyforfeited.Elizawouldn’tbeharmed.Axilwasnolongerkingbutwewouldbetogether.Thenwhydidsomethingfeeloff:likeIwasleavingsomethingimportantbehind?
JustasIthoughtofhim,Osloscreamedmyname.
Ispun,pullingfreefromAxilasmylittlebrothercrashedintomeandIwrappedmyarmsaroundhim.
“Takemewithyou.Please,Ibegyou,”hepleaded,tearsinhiseyes.
IlookedupatAxil,unsurewhathewouldthinkofallthis.Heknewmybrotherwasalmostlikeasontome,andthatI’draisedhimaftermyparentsdied.
Axilsimplynoddedonceandreliefrushedthroughme.IglancedatCyrusandDorianwhoflankedus,keepingthecrowdbackandtheybothdippedtheirheadsinagreementaswell.
“Okay,youcancome,”ItoldOsloandhepulledbackfrommewithagrin,wipingathisleakingeyes.
Ilovedthatboytoomuch.Axilwouldhavetotoughenhimupformebecausemyheartwastoosoftwhenitcametohim.Heremindedmesomuchofoursweetmother.
Elizapulledmeinforafinalhug.“Goodbye,sister,”shewhispered,herthroatcloggedwithemotionandthenIfelther,throughourbondandalloftheloveandrespectshehadforme.
“Whatareyougoingtodo?”
Sheshrugged.“GoliveintheMudFlatsandmarryoneofyourcutesinglepackmates?”
Ilaughedatthatandeverythingfeltalittlebitbrighter.I’dhavetofindawaytogetwordtoher.Ineverthoughtthiswouldbeapossibility,thatAxilwouldstepdownaskingandrunawaywithme.
IcouldsenseAxil’surgency;thecrowdwasgettingrestlessandweneededtoleavebeforetherewasanaltercation.
Withthat,AxilgraspedmyhandoncemoreandIheldOslo’swithmyotherhandandwewalkedintothewoodsandourunknownfuturetogether.
WewereabouttenstepsintothedenseforestwhenmymusclessuddenlyconstrictedanditfeltlikeI’dslammedintoawall.Istoppedabruptly,gaspingasanunknownpowerseizedcontrolovermylimbs.IknewbytheshockedinhaleofbreathbesidemethatthesamethinghadjusthappenedtoAxil.
“No,”hebreathed,slowlycraninghisnecktopeeroveratmewide-eyed.
MylittlebrotherlookedupatusinconfusionandIswallowedhard.“Run,”ItoldOsloanddroppedhishand.
“DidyoureallythinkIwouldletyougo?”Ansel’svoiceboomedbehindusbothandthenwithoutanyeffortofmyown,Iturnedaroundtofacehim.
Asadominantwolf,beingcontrolledbyanotherpersonwasliterallymyworstnightmare.Igrowled,fistingmyknucklesandsnarling,butitwasnouse.Hehadcompletepoweroverme.
Thebroken-upcrowdsuddenlyloomedbehindAnsel,mybrotherCyrusincludedandmygazefranticallysearchedforElizaandDorian.
Whyweren’ttheythere?Didtheytrytofightthekingand…
ReliefrushedthroughmewhenIsawthemwavingOsloovertothemastheysnuckworriedglancesattheirnewking.OslowiselyboltedfrommysideandKingAnsellethimgo.Asmallmercy.
“Igaveyouwhatyouwanted,”Axilgrowledbesideme.“Letusgo.”
Ansel’seyessharpened.“YouthinkIwantedyoutohandmemycrown?”heseethed.
MyheartracedinmychestandIpulledagainsttheinvisibleforceholdingmecaptivetonoavail.
“Youshouldhavekilledmewhenyouhadthechance,brother,”Anselwhispered,andIgrowled.
Ansel’sheadsnappedinmydirectionandhegrinned,sendingachilldownmyspine.Thethingthatscaredmethemostwasthathiseyeslackedhumanity.
“Yougavemeyourword!”Axilroaredaspeltsoffurrippleddownhisskinbuthewasforcedtoremainupright.
Anseltippedhisheadbackandlaughed,ahollowandemptysound.“Youwereafooltobelieveme.”
ThenewwolfkingthenturnedtoalineofRoyalGuardsandtippedhisheadtothem.“Bringmybrotherandhislovertothedungeon.”
AxilandIsharedalook.Axilappearedvoidofallemotionthen,likelyretreatingintothedarkmemoriesinhismindofhistwoyearsinimprisonment.
Thiswasbad,sobad.CouldAnseldothis?He’dgivenhiswordinfrontofthewolvenadvisors.Yettheyjuststoodbehindhimwiththeirheadsdown.Washecontrollingthemtoo?Ifso,itwasforbidden.Theadvisorskeptthekingfrommakingbadchoices:theywerenevertobecontrolled.
Eliza,CyrusandDorianallglaredatAnselashepassedandthenmyfeetwerethrustforward.Iwaslikeapuppet,puttingonefootinfrontoftheotherasIfollowedtheking.ElizagrowledlowinherthroatasAnselpassedandhestoppedtolookather.“Kneel,”hetauntedandElizabowedherheadandfelltoherkneesforcefully.
Hewasabusinghispower.Thiswasn’twhattheking’smagicwastobeusedfor.Itwastobreakupfights,andcommandtroopsintimeofwarsothatwecouldfightasifwewereonebeing.Notthis.
Iwantedtoscream,IwantedtotellAnselwhatamonsterhewasbutIknewAxil’slifewasinhishands,aswellasmyown,soIkeptmymouthshut.
ThiswasnothowIexpectedthisdaytoend.ELEVEN
We’dbeenstrunguplikefreshkills,hangingfromourhandsinshackleswithmyfeetbarelytouchingtheground.Acollarwascinchedaroundmythroatwhichthenhadametalleashattachedandboltedtothestoneceilingtokeepusfromshiftingforms.Myarmsached,mywristsburnedandI’dneverbeenmorelividinmyentirelife.We’dbeenputupondisplayrightinthelargeprivatediningroomofthecastle.We’dneverevenbeentakentothedungeon.
Anselwassittingattheheadofthetablewithhiswife,eatingadecadentmealwhileAxilandIstarved.
Hewastakingpsychologicalwarfaretotheextreme.HiswifewasfromIvanna’spack,aruthlessdominantwho’dwonherQueenTrialsfamouslybychokingtheothergirlwithherbarehands.Butthey’dbeenmarriedfouryearsnow,andnochild?Itmeanttherumorsofherbeingbarrenmightbetrue.
“Lethergo,”Axilgrowledtohisbrother.“LetZarago,shehasnothingtodowiththis.”
Anselputdownhisforkandstood,walkingovertowhereAxilhungonthefarwallnexttome.“Oh,shehaseverythingtodowiththis,brother.”Helookedbackathiswife.“Something’swrongwithJade.Shecan’tgivemechildren.So,I’lldivorceherandtakeZaraasmywife.Themomentshe’spregnantwithmyheir,I’llkillyou.”
Mygutclenchedathiswordsandfearseizedme.Hiswifehungherheadinshameandthat’swhenAxilwentabsolutelyberserk.
Hebuckedagainsthischainsandscreamedandgrowled.TheboltintheceilingthatheldthechainscreakedandstrainedandfurpoppedoutontoAxil’sarms.Itbrokemyhearttoseehimsohelpless.
Anseltippedhisheadbackandlaughed,walkingbacktothetableasAxilwentinsanetryingtofreehimself.
“Axil,”Iwhisperedandhestilled,panting.Helookedoveratmewitheyesthatwerebluethreadedthroughwithyellow.Iwasspeakingtomanandbeast.“Whateverhappens,Iwillbeokay,”Itoldhimandtriedtokeeptheemotionsoffmyface.Iknewhewouldfeelresponsibleforthis.GivingAnselcontrolofthepackagainandallthepowerthatcomeswithbeingakingmightseemstupidnow,butwecouldn’thaveknownhisbrotherwoulddothis.Hegavehiswordinfrontofeverywolvenpresent,includingtheadvisors.Akingwasnothingifnotamanofhisword.Anselwasacowardineveryway.NotstrongenoughtodefeatAxilinachallengefight,soheusedtheking’spowertocontrolhimandgetwhathewanted.
Axil’sjawclenched,theveinsinhisneckbulging.“Youwillnotbetouchedbyhim.I.Will.Kill.Himifhemarriesorbedsyou.”
Hedidn’twhisper.AndAnselheard.Andheeruptedintoanotherlaugh.
He’sinsane.Thatwascleartomenow.Andhiswife,ourqueen,wasactinglikethemostsubmissivedominantfemaleI’devermet.Shejustsatthereandsaidnothing,likeastuffedtoy.
He’scontrollinghertoo.Thehorrorofthatrealizationhitmelikeapunchtothestomach.
No.
Hecouldcauseapersontolosetheirself-controlandhewasdoingthattohernow.Thiswasaninsaneabuseofpower,yet,Iwasunabletostopit.
ThedinnerdraggedonandI’dlonglostfeelinginmyhands,myshoulderswerenumbaswell.Anytimemylegsgaveout,thecollarchokedmeandforcedmetostandrightbackup.Iprayedwewouldn’tbemadetosleeplikethis.WasthiswhatAnseldidtoAxilwhenhewasyounger?No.Apersoncouldn’tlivelikethisfortwoyears.Thiswasforshow.ThiswasforAnseltoprovehehadallthepower.
JustasKingAnselwaswipinghismouthandhadeatenhislastbite,thedoorstothedininghallopened.
Ilookedup,bleary-eyedandinpain.
Aguardsteppedinandclearedhisthroat.“Mylord,youhavethreevisitorsoutsidewhoclaimtobethequeensofThorngate,ArchmereandEmbergate.”
MyheartbeatwildlyinmychestandIexchangedashockedglancewithAxil.
Anselpickeduphismeadandtookalongswig,lettingthesilencestretchintheroom.“Sendthemin,”hestatedatlast.
Whywouldthequeensofotherrealmscomehere,toFallenmoore?Iftheyhadamessage,theywouldsenditwithacourier.Tocomeinpersonmeantsomethingwasgravelywrong.MaybesomethingtodowiththatwarmeetingAxilhadhad.I’dneverevenaskedaboutit,I’dbeensoconsumedwithwinningthetrials.
Amomentlater,threebeautifulwomenenteredtheroom,oneofthemcarryingasmalltinboxinherhands.Theywerebright-eyedandsmilinguntiltheirgazeslandedonus.Allthreeoftheirsmileswerewipedfromtheirfacesatthesight.Inthatmomentthebrown-hairedhuman-lookingoneslippedthetinboxintohercloakandboweddeeplytoAnsel.
“KingAxilMoon?”sheaskedAnsel.“Wearesopleasedtomeety—”
“I’mKingAnsel.MybrotherAxilisnolongerking.”Hejerkedhisheadinourdirection.
Thewomenremainedtightlipped,withforcedsmiles,betrayingonlyslightsignsofanxiety.
Thered-headedfaesteppedforward,notbowing,andheldtheking’sgaze.“IamtheFaeQueenMadelynnofThorngate:wehavecomebearinggravenewsandseekyourhelp,KingAnsel.”
Gravenews.
Axilstiffenedbesidemeaswewatchedthesceneunfold.Inoticedtheblondeone,Iwasguessingdragon-folk,stoodtherepoisedasifreadytoattackanddidnottakehergazeoffAnsel.
“Whatgravenews?”Anselaskedashestoodbackfromthetable.Hiswifestillhadherheadbowedanditkilledmetothinkhewasdoingthattoher.Howpowerfulwashe?Couldhecontrolallofusifweweretoattackhimatonce?
Theredhead,QueenMadelynn,clearedherthroat.“TheNightfallqueenhasbeenstealingyourwolvesandusingamagicaldevicetosiphontheirpowerandgiveittoherpeopletodrinkasanelixir.Shethenusesthispowertoattackusatourborders.”
HolyHades!What?
Ansellookedunfazed.“Howunfortunateforyou.”
Theblondequeen’seyesnarrowedandthebrunettetightenedherfists.
Aslightbreezepickedupintheroom,whichIfoundodd,andQueenMadelynntookonestepclosertotheking.“IfwecannotdefeattheNightfallqueen,shewillridenorth,toFallenmoore,andtakeyouallout,”shedeclared.“Wepleadforassistanceinthiswar.”
KingAnselgrinnedandchillsracedacrossmyskin.“Lethertry.Iwillbringhertoherkneesandmakehercutherownthroat.JustasIcandowithyou.”
Ibarelyhadtimetoregistertheshockofhisthreatwhenawindowbrokeonthefarwallandaroaringwindblewintotheroomcreatingafunnel.Theblondedragon-folkqueenraisedherhandsasiftoattackKingAnselbutjustassoonasthewindhadcomeandthesethreewomenhadattemptedtheirattack,theyallgrabbedtheirheadsinunison,screamingastheybowedontheirknees.
He’scontrollingthemtoo.Thisshookmetomycore.IlookedatAxil,unbelievingthathehadhadthiskindofpowertheentiretime.
Nooneshouldbethisformidable.Itwasterrifying.
Ansellookedbackathisbrotherwithagrin.“ShouldIkillthem?”
No!Iwantedtoscreambutsuddenlymythroatfeltparalyzed.Hewaskeepingmefromspeaking.
“Ifyoudo,thekingsofAvalierwillcomeforyouandyou’llhaveawaronyourhandswithmultiplefoes,”Axilsaidcalmly.
Anselnodded.“MaybetheycanstaythenightandI’lldecideifIshouldkillthemorsendthemontheirwaytomorrow.”Hetappedhischinasifthinking.
Helookedathisguardspostedaroundtheroom.“Readythedungeon.”
ThosethreewordswereterrifyingandyetifIwasabouttobereleasedfromthistorturedevice,Ididn’tcarewhereIwent.
Thethreequeenshissedandgroaned,ontheirkneesasAnselcontinuedwhatevertormenthewasdoingtothemandmyheartbrokeforthewomen.They’dcomeallthiswaytopleadforhelpandnowthis.ItwasawfulandAnselwasplayingwithfirebyattackingthem,thoughIwasprettysurethefaequeenhadattackedfirstwiththatwind.I’dheardaboutthefaebeingabletocontrolcertainelements,andI’djustseenitfirsthand.She’dbrokenthatwindowsomehowandpulledthewindinside.Itmademewonderwhattheotherwomencoulddo.IwasshelteredinthesensethatI’dneverleftFallenmoorebutI’dheardmanystoriesaboutthepowersoftheotherraces.
“Let’stakeawalkandputallofourguestsupforthenight,shallwe,darling?”Anselcalledtohiswifewhostood,headbowedassheturnedstiffly,withoutmuchanimation.
Twooftheguardsleft,buttheothertwowalkedovertoAxilandme.Whenoneofthemreacheduptounhookthechainfromtheceilingbolt,Icriedoutinpainatthesuddenmovementasreliefthenspreadthroughoutmylimbs.ThenmyneckcollarchainwasreleasedtooandIwhimperedatbeingfreeofthehangingposition.Myarmsfelllimplytomysidesandthenallofmyweightwassuddenlyonmyfeet.MylegscouldnolongerholdmeupafterhoursoffatigueandIfeltmyselffalling.ButIneverdid.Asifdrivenbyanunseenforce,IpulledmylegoutfromundermetostabilizemyselfandthenIwaswalking.ThechainfromthecollaratmyneckdraggedbehindmeasIfollowedKingAnsel,hiswife,andthethreequeens.Weallmarchedinaperfectline,withflawlesslyspacedsteps.Allagainstourwill.
IwantedtolookbehindmeandseeifAxilwasfollowingbutIcouldn’tmovemyhead.Anselwascontrollingeverymuscleinmybodyanditterrifiedme.HadIknownhewascapableofthis,IneverwouldhaveallowedAxiltostepdownandgiveAnselsuchpower.Ididn’tthinkAxilwouldhavedoneiteither.Itseemedthathisbrotherhadsnappedandhadneverbeforeusedhispoweroverpeopletothisdegree.
Wewalkeddownthehallandtoawidestonestaircasethatledtoadampdungeonwithgraystonewallsandnolight.EveryonceinawhilethewindwouldbrushpastmelightlyonlytodieoutandAnselwouldlaugh.Iassumedthefaequeenwastryingtouseherpower.He’dtakenmyvoice:Iwascompletelyhelplessanditmademefeelsick.
Whenweturnedthecorner,Isawonewrought-irondoorstandingopen.Myheartpickedupspeedasonebyonewemarchedintothecellagainsteveryefforttostayout.WhenAnselusedhispowertoturnmearound,IwatchedinreliefasAxilwalkedinafterme.
Ansel’swifestoodstillathisside,headdown,hairlimplycoveringherface.Ifoundmyselfwonderingwhyshehadn’tkilledhimoverthelasttwoyears,whenhewaswithoutthispowerandAxilwasking?Maybehe’dneverdonethistoherbeforeanditwasnewbehavior.Isurelycouldneverletamanliveafterthiskindoftreatment.
Weallstoodinalargecell,spreadoutinalineasAnselwalkedslowlyinsideandrightuptoQueenMadelynn.Hegrinnedashelookedherupanddown,andagainalightgustofwindblewpastusandthendiedout.
“Ifindyourrebellionextremelyattractive,”hetoldher,andIforcedagrowlintomythroat,workingpasthispower.Howdareheflirtwithamarriedqueen!Thislevelofdisrespectlookedbadonallwolven.Hewasshamingourentireculturewiththistreatmentofthesemonarchs.
Ansel’sheadsnappedinmydirectionandmystomachdropped.Hewalkedcalmlyovertomeandthenleanedin,lettinghisnoserestagainstmyneck.Pullinginadeeplungfulofair,heinhaled.“Mybrother’swhore,”hewhispered,andAxilgrowlednexttomebutthenoisewascutoffwithawhimperashefelltothefloor,graspingathisheadandscreaminginpain.
Tearsleakedoutofthecornersofmyeyesastherealizationthatwewereallpuppetstoasickmanhitme.
“Comeon,let’sgomakeanheir,”Anselsaidtomeandfearseizedmeinitsgrip.
Thewindpickedupagain,strongerthistimeandAxilwentmadwithhisscreaming.TheblondequeennexttomestartedblowingastreamofsmokeoutofhernostrilsandallAnseldidwaslaughashesteppedoutofthecellandmademefollowhim.TWELVE
Axil
Thepaininmyhead,whichfeltlikesomeonehadtakenanaxetomyskull,wasnothingcomparedtotheagonyinmyheart.Anselhadjustleftthedungeoncellwiththeloveofmylife.
Tobedher.
Thefarthertheirfootstepsretreated,thelessofaholdmybrotherhadonmeandtheothers.
Theothers.
Iwaslockedinacellwithmychildhoodbestfriends’wives.Itwassurreal.WhenIfinallyfeltthepaininmyheaddissipateandtheuseofmylegsandmusclesreturn,Iturnedtothethreewomanwhowerenowmovingtheirarmsandfingersinfrontofthem.
“WhattheFaewasthat?”Madelynn,theredheadsaid.IappraisedmybestfriendLucien’snewwife.ShehadsometypeofwindmagicandshewaspowerfulenoughtouseitminimallyevenunderAnsel’scommand.Itwasimpressive.
“Thatwasawful!”thebrunette,whosmelledlikeahuman-elfmixture,stated.“Iwanttoskinhimalive.”
Theblondewaseerilystill,shemerelycockedherheadandlookedatme.“Wasthatyourmate?”Therewassmokestreamingoutofhernostrilsandmyheartpinchedatthewordmate
AlowgrowlemanatedfrommythroatandIfistedmyhands,forcingmywolftostaydownsoIcouldspeaktothesewomen.“Yes.AndIneedtogettoherbeforehe…”MywordsdiedinmythroatandIspun,wrappingmyhandsaroundthebarsatthedoorandshakingthem.Itwasnouse,Iknewthat.I’dlivedinthiscellfortwoyears.ThiswaswhereAnselbrokepeopledown,thoughhe’dneverdisplayedtheblatantdisregardforothers’freewilllikehedidtonight.Hemusthavefinallysnapped.
“Yeah,that’snothappening.We’regettingoutofhere,”Madelynnsaidbluntly,andthewindpickedup,swirlingaroundme.IturnedtoherandwassurprisedtofindherjustasangryasIwas.
Theblonde,whoIwasassumingfromthesmokingnostrilswasthedragonqueen,walkedovertome.“I’mArwen,queenofthedragon-folkandwe’regoingtohelpyougetyourmateback,okay?”
Icouldonlynod,inshockatwhatwashappening.
“AndI’mKailani,”thebrown-hairedwomansaid.“Elfqueen.”
ArwenthenwalkedovertothefaequeenMadelynnandlookedherdeadintheeyes.“Canyoutakecareoftheguard?”
Madelynnnoddedandthensteppedovertome.“Move,please.Wedon’thavemuchtime.”
Istumbledawayfromthedoordumbfoundedassheheldupherhandinfrontofthebars.
“Areyouhurt?”Theelfqueenwastherebesideme,inspectingmybleedingwrists.
“I’llheal.It’sfine,”Itoldher,wonderingwhenRaifehadmarriedher.Hedidn’tseemthemarryingtypethelasttimewespoke,whichadmittedlywasyearsago.IwasslightlyhurttherewasnoweddinginvitetoanyofthesemarriagesbutIcouldn’treallyblamethem.We’dallfallenoutoftouchwhenRaife’sfamilywasmurderedbytheNightfallqueen.
Iwaswatchingthefaequeenwithakeeninterest.Shedidn’tappeartobedoinganythingandyetIheardthesoundsofstrugglingjustoutsidethecell.Someonewasgaspingfor—
“You’restealingtheairfromhislungs?”Iaskedinshockastherealizationhitme.
Shelookedoveratmewitharaisedeyebrowandnodded.“ThesamethingIwilldotoyourbrothernowthatIknowwhathe’scapableof,”shesnarled.
Wow,shemustbeafallfaetohavewindmagic.Ihadnoideathekindofpowerawindfaecouldhave,untilnow.I’dneverreallythoughtaboutit.Luciencouldfreezepeopletodeathandshecouldstealtheairfromtheirlungs:theywerequitethepair.AslongasthesewomenhelpedmegetZarabackwithoutharm,Ididn’tcarewhattheydidtoanyoneelse.
ThinkingofZaralayingunderneathmybrotherashebeddedhermademesick.
“Pleasehurry,”Igrowledasfurrippledalongmyskin.
I’donlyjustgottenZaraback,afterfiveyearsofwalkingthroughHadestobetogether.Icouldn’tloseheragain.
Madelynnsteppedawayfromthedoorjustastheguard’sbodyhitthefloorinfrontofthecellwithathud.Hisfacewaspurpleandhewas…dead.
“It’sdone.Nowhowdowegetoutofhere?”
Wow.She’dtakenhislifesoeasily!Withouteventouchinghim.“Canyoukillmybrotherfromhere?”Iaskedher.
Sheshookherhead.“Icouldcollapsetheentirebuildingbutthatwouldkillustoo.Ineedtobeclosertohimtotargetmypowerthatprecisely.”
Inodded,andthentriedtothinkofwaysshemightbeabletopullthedoorfromthecellwithherwindpower.I’dtriedsomanythingssomanytimes,itwaspointless.Ironandstonecouldholdamanfor—
Blueflamesburstfromthepalmsofthedragonqueenandsheglancedoverattherestofus.“Standback.”
Wealltookseveralstepsbackuntilwewerepressedagainstthefarwall.That’swhenthedragonqueenappliedtheblueflamestothewrought-ironlock.
Hopespurredtolifeinmychestthen.Ifshecouldsomehowmeltthelockandtheguardwasn’talivetocallforhelp…wecouldreallygetoutofhere.
“Thesecondmybrotherhearsusentertheroom,he’llusehispower,”Itoldthewomen.
Madelynnlookedatme.“Idon’tneedtobeintheroomwithhimtotakehisbreath,justoutsidetheroomwithasmallcrackunderthedoorwillsuffice.Itwillallowmetosensetheirbreathing.”
Myeyeswidenedatherwords.Thatwasanincredibleandterrifyingpower.
“Howwillyouknowwhosebreathiswhose?”Iasked.WhatifsheaccidentlykilledZara?
“I’llknow.Inthatmoment,Iamthewind.It’shardtoexplain.You’rejustgoingtohavetotrustme.”
Trusther.Ididn’tevenknowher.Ifrowned,lookingapprehensivelyatallofthem.Howdidtheygethere?WhyweretheyhereandnotRaife,DraeandLucien?
Theelfqueenseemedtoreadmyapprehensionandsteppedovertome,pullingthattinboxfromhercloak.I’dseenitwhenshe’dfirstwalkedintothediningroomandpeeringatitnowwaslikeablowtothechest.Thatrustedboxwasn’tsomethingIeverthoughtIwouldseeagain.ItremindedmeofasimplertimewhenIwasbestfriendswiththefuturekingsofAvalier.
Irememberedthefightmyparentsgotinwithmyolderbrotherwhentheychosetosendmeastheprincetorepresentusattheyearlyretreatwiththeothers.TheymusthaveknownthenthatAnselwouldn’tmakeagoodking.He’dalwayslackedhonor.Withshakingfingers,Ireachedoutandtooktheboxfromher.
“Ourhusbandssaidthatifwebroughtyouthis,itwouldshowyouthatwearewhowesayweare,andwereallyneedyourhelp.”
Inodded,glancingatthedragonqueenwhosebackwasnowcoveredinsweatasshecontinuedtoblastbluefireatthedoor.Theywereallworkingsohardtofreeus,togoafterZaraandriskingtheirliveswhentheydidn’thaveto.
Usingtheedgeofmynails,Ipulledthelidoff.Itwasstuckandtookseveraltriesbutwhenitfinallycamefree,Iburstoutlaughing.
ThenoteontopwasinRaife’shandwriting.
PrincesofAvalieronly.Anyoneelsewhoopen’sthiswilldieofrottendiarrhea.
Ilookeduptoseehiswifepeeringovermyshoulder,smiling.
“Raifewrotethattoscareanyoneelseoff,”Itoldher.
Hersmilegrewwiderthen.IwasimpatienttogettoZara,especiallybeforemybrothercouldhurther,butitlookedlikethedragonqueenneededmoretime.
“Almostthere!”sheannouncedasifshetoohadreadmymind.
Pullingoffthetopnote,IslippeditintomypocketandthenpreparedmyselfforwhatIwouldsee.Thiswassolongago.Wewerelittleboys,notyetmen.Wehadn’tyetgonethroughasingletrialinlife.
IthoughttheboxhadbeenLucien’sideabutIhonestlycouldn’tremember.He’dsaidhewantedtoburysomethingthatmadeushappy,somethingwewouldrememberandbringusbacktoourchildhoodwhenweonedaybecamegrumpyoldkings.
Likewewerenow.
IglanceddownatthecontentsandsmiledatDrae’seaglefeather,rememberinghowmuchhelovedflying.AsawolfIcouldn’timaginetakingtotheskiesbutit’sallDraespokeaboutasachild.
Lucienhadplacedawomen’shairclipinside.Itwasgoldwitharedpaintedroseonthetip.Itwashismother’s,theonepersonwholovedhimunconditionally.Lucienstruggledwithcontrollinghispowerandhe’dsaidthathismotherwastheonlyonewhocouldbringhimbackintocontrol.Shewashishappiness.
MyattentionthenwenttothegoldenarrowtipthatRaifehadleft.Icouldstillrememberthesoundofhisarrowshittingthetreetrunksonouryearlyretreats.Hewasneverwithouthisbowandtookgreatprideinhisskill.
IswallowedhardwhenIpulledouttheseeminglyuselessballofwax.ItwaswhiteandI’dshapeditwhilestillsoft.Thiswaxwouldseemliketrashtoanyoneelse,buttomeitwasoneofmygreatestmemoriesofmybestfriends.Thecandleitcamefromhadburnedallnightatouryearlyretreatthatsummer,aswestayedupwellpastourbedtimesandtoldstoriesandscaredeachotherandwrestled.Thatnightwe’dforgedanunbrokenbondthatneithertimenorhardshipcouldtearaway.MyownbrotherhadbeendistantandabusivetomesoI’dforgedabrotherlybondwiththeseboysandrolledallofourmemoriesintothisballofwaxtoremindmeofthem.
Ifanyoneofthemneededmenow,Iwouldgivethemtheveryclothesonmyback.
“Gotit!”thedragonqueenbellowed,pullingmyattentionawayfromthetinboxandtheemotionstheywerecausingtosettleinmychest.
Ilookedupthentoseeherbootedfootkickthecelldoorwideopen.
Idroppedtheballofwaxintothetinandsnappedthelidshut,lookingupatthethreewomen.
“HelpmesavemymateandIwillgiveyouwhateveryouask,”Itoldthem.
Theelfqueennodded.“WeaskthatyoumarchanarmyacrosstherealmandfighttodefeattheNightfallqueenandliberateourpeople.Canyoudothat?”
Gotowar.Pullmypeoplefromtheirpeacefullivesandmarchforanissuethatdidnotyetthreatenus?IfelttheweightofthetinboxinmyhandsandknewthatifRaife,DraeandLucienhadsenttheirwives,itmeanttheythemselveswerecurrentlyfightingandIwouldnotletthemdown.
“Youhavemyword.”
Theylookedpleasedwiththatandallnoddedonce.OnebyoneweleftthecellandwentinsearchofZara.ThatwomanwasthestrongestIknew,butmybrotherforcinghimselfonherwasnotsomethingIcouldimagineherenduring.TheverythoughtofitcalledmywolftothesurfaceandbeforeIcouldstopit,Iwasshifting.ZaraSwiftwaterwastheloveofmylife.Herlaughhadbeenimprintedonmysoulsincewewerefifteen.
Holdonmylove,I’mcoming.THIRTEEN
Zara
AnselparadedmedownthehallagainstmywillandItriedtoscreamandthrash,butitwasnouse.Mybreathingcameoutragged,butnothingmore.HalfwaydownthehallhiswifedisappearedintoanotherroomandIwonderedhowlonghisholdonherlasted.Wasitbasedondistance?Ordidhemerelyhavetothinkabouthertocontrolher?WereAxilandthequeensofAvalierstillunderhiscontrol?Ithadtoexhaustsomewellofenergywithinhimtousethispower,butifitdid,hedidn’tshowit.OnelegmovedinfrontoftheotherandnomatterhowhardItriedtofightit,Iwalkedrightintoabedroomwithhim.
No.No.No.
Heclosedthedoorbehindmeandthenspunmearoundtofacehim.
“Tellme,didyoupineformybrotherallthoseyearsIhadhimlockedup?”heasked,andIfeltmythroatloosen.Hewasallowingmetospeak,ifIcouldjustkeephimtalkingandnotunbuttoninghistrousersmaybeIcouldfindawayoutofthis.
“Yes.SinceIwasfifteen.”
Anselshookhishead,lookingdisappointed.“Loveweakens.Itriedtoteachhimthatandyetyoustillendeduptogethersomehow.”Heremovedhistunic,causingmybreathtocomeoutinraggedgasps.Iwasfrozentothespot,unabletomoveasinglemuscleexcepttospeak.
“He’smymate,”ItoldAnsel.“Lovewastheonlypathforus.”
Ansellookedatmesharplythen,hiseyesnarrowing.“TheQueenTrialsaren’taboutlove,they’reaboutstrength.They’reaboutmarryingthestrongestwomanofourkind.”
Keephimtalking,Itoldmyself.Justkeeptalking.
“Can’tonehaveboth?”Iquestionedashekickedoffhisshoes.“Love,andthestrongestwoman?”
Hiseyeswenthalfliddedthenandmystomachtiedinknots.“Idon’tthinkI’mcapableoflove,butyoucansuretry.”
Iopenedmymouthtospeakagainonlytofindthathe’dcutoffmywordsandthenIwasmoving,againstmywilltothebed.
No.
Reachingdown,Igraspedthehemofmytunicandpulledupward,stoppinghalfwayaspeltsoffurrippleddownmyarms.
Hewasundressingme.No.Hewasforcingmetoundressmyself.Alowrumblesoundedinmythroat,breakingthroughhisholdonmebutthenanintensesharppainslicedthroughmyheadandIscreamed,reachinguptograbmyskullasheallowed.
Itwaslikeahotbladehadbeenstuckinsideofmyearandtwisted.Ipantedasthepaincameinwavesandthenjustasquicklyasitstarted,itwasgone.
MychestheavedasIfoughttocatchmybreath.
Anselwasstandingbeforemeinonlyaloincloth,grinning.“Ilikeafeistyfemale,”hestatedandIsawred.
Ilungedforward,breakinghisholdforonlyafewsecondsbutitwaslongenoughtolandaslaponhischeek.ThenIwasfrozenintheair,heldinplacebyhispowerasheseethedatme.
TheskinofhischeekwaspinkfromwhereI’dhithim,hiseyeswideinfuryashispulledhislipsbackintoagrimace.
“I’mgoingtoenjoyputtingapupinyourbelly,”hegrowledandthensteppedforward.Ibracedmyselfforhisassault,buthisfacesuddenlyslippedintopanic.Eyeswide,heclawedathisthroatwhilehestaredatmeinshock.
Iwassoconfused.Myslapcouldn’thavehadthatkindofeffect,right?
Hewasturningpurple.
WhatinHades?
Aslightwindrushedthroughtheair,pickingupmyhairlikeacallingcard.
Madelynnwashere.Thispowerwasuniquetothefaequeen.
AsAnsel’spowerovermeslippedandbegantofadeaway,Islowlyregainedcontrolovermymuscles.
Thisbastardwasgoingtopayforhistreatmentofmeandtheothers.Iimmediatelystartedtoshiftforms,allowingmyheadtobethefirsttoturntobeast
ThebedroomdoorburstopenandIdidn’tevenwaittofullyshiftbeforeIlungedforward.Iwantedtobetheonetofinishhimandwiththefaequeentakinghisbreath,hewastooweaktofightback.IgraspedAnselbythebackoftheneckwithmyhandsthatwereshiftingtopawsandthentookhisthroatintomywolf’smouth.Withonecleanyank,Irippeditout.Axilhadbeenthefirstonetoburstthroughthedoorinhiswolfformandnowhestoodwide-eyedbeforemeandhisbrother,staringatthescenebeforehim.IspatAnsel’sfleshontothefloorinfrontofAxil’swolfandthenAnsel’sbodyhitthegroundwithathud.Iforcedmyselfbackintohumanform,notfullycompletingtheshift.ThenIfelltothegroundinfrontofAxil,pullinghiswolfontomylap.
Axilwhined,nuzzlinghiswolf’ssnoutintomyneck.
“I’mokay,”Iwhisperedtohim.
Thethreequeenswerestandinginthedoorwayandlookeddownatus.
“Areyouhurt?”Madelynnasked.
Ipeeredupatherandshookmyhead.
“Let’sgivethemsometimealone,”thedragonqueensaid.“We’llbeinthehall.”
Thenthedoorclosed,itwasjustmeandAxilalonewithhisbrother’scorpse.Afterafullminuteofholdinghim,myheartfranticallybeatingagainsthiswolf,Igentlynudgedhimoffandstood.AxilstartedhisshiftbackintohumanformandIwalkedovertoasetofdrawersatthefarwall,throwingclothesontheflooratAxil’sfeet.Ithenwentintotheattachedbathroomandwashedthebloodfrommyfaceandmouth,scrubbingmyteethwithabrush.
Icouldn’tbelieveI’djustkilledthewolvenking.
Axil’sbrother.
WhenIfinallycameoutoftheroom,Axilwasstandingbeforemeinlow-slungtrousersofhisbrother’sthatweretooshortandatunicthatwastootight.
“I…I’msosorry,”hesaid.
Iwalkedslowlyintohisarmsandhewrappedthemaroundme,holdingmetightlyastherealizationofeverythingthathadjusthappenedhitme.
“Didhetouchyou?Tellmethetruth,”Axilgrowled.
Ishookmyhead,peeringbacktolookathim.“No,butifhedidwoulditmatter?He’sdead.”
Axil’sblueeyesthreadedthroughwithyellow.“Ofcourseitwouldmatter.I’dpissonhiscorpseandthenfeedittoabearin.”
Ichuckledalittle,feelingthemoodlightenevenifitwasinadarkway.“Imeanwecouldstilldothat.Hewasasadisticmaniac.”
WebothturnedtostareatthedeadpurplefaceofKingAnsel,histhroatrippedcleanout.
“Didyougetthepowerback?Areyoukingagain?”IsuddenlylookedatAxil.Ididn’tknowhowthatworked.Before,thebrothershadtotransferittoeachotherthroughblood.Butnow…
Axilnoddedbutseemedunsettled.
“What’swrong?”Iasked.“AreyoumadIkilledhim?Iknowhewasyourbrotherbut…”
Hetookinadeepbreathandthenleanedintome,exhalingagainstmyneckwhichsentshiversalongmyspine.
“Therehavetobetwolivingheirsoftheroyalbloodlineotherwise—”
Thedoorburstopenandhiswordswerecutoff.Axilpulledawayandsteppedprotectivelyinfrontofme.
Twored-robedroyalwolvenadvisorswerestandingintheopendoorwayandtheystaredatKingAnsel’sbodyinshock.
“Whodidthis?”theolderonewithagrayingbeardasked.
“Idid,”Axillied.
Mygazeflickedouttothehallwaytoseethethreequeenswaitingatthereadybehindthemen.
Theadvisorsighed.“Youshouldhavekepthimaliveandimprisonedhim.Nowyou’llhavetoendurethechallenge.”
Thechallenge?
Axilshrugged.“Hewastoodangeroustokeepalive.”
Theadvisornoddedasifinagreement.“Well,Iwillgomakeanannouncementtothepack.”Thentheadvisorlookedatme.“Youralphaandfriendshavebeenharassingthefrontguardandinquiringafteryourwhereabouts.I’llletthemknowyouareokayandAxilisbackinpower.”
Wow,IwaskindofamazedathowcasuallytheyweretakingthenewsthatAnselhadjustbeenmurdered.Butifthey’dseenanyofwhathadjusttranspiredoverthelasttwenty-fourhours,thentheyknewandagreedthatAnselwastoodangeroustoletlive.
“What’sthechallenge?”Iaskedasoneoftheadvisorslefttotellthepackthenewsbuttheotherstayed.I’msureElizaandCyrusandmylittlebrotherwereworriedbutIdidn’tcareaboutthatrightnow.
Theremainingadvisorclearedhisthroatandheheldhisheadhigh.“Axilwillhavetoopenlyfighteachpackmemberwhochallengeshisstrengthtolead.Iftherearenolongertwoheirsofroyalblood,thenthestrongestwillleadus.”
“Axilisthestrongest,”Igrowled,feelingmywolfcometothesurface.
Axilreachedoutandthreadedhisfingersthroughmine.“It’sokay,love.”
Butitwasn’t.Hewasstillweakandinjuredfromhangingonahookallday.IlookeddownatAnsel’sbody,horrifiedtofindthatinmykillinghim,I’dforcedAxiltonowhavetofighttokeephisbirthright.Ihadknownaboutthetwo-heirthingbuthadn’treallythoughtitthroughorknowntherepercussionsifonedied.
“Heneedsadecentmealandagoodnight’srestbeforehefights,”Ideclaredtotheadvisoranddaredhimtochallengemeonthat.
Hegavemeacurtnod.“Wewillannouncethatthechallengefightsstarttomorrowmorning.”
Myheartshatteredinthatmoment.Weweresoclose,soclosetoourhappilyeverafter.JustasIhadtofighttobewithhim,nowhewouldhavetofighttoretainhispositionasking.
Theadvisorleftandthethreequeensenteredtheroomlookingupsetbythelatestnews.
“I’msorrytherewillbeadelayinouragreement,”Axiltoldthewomen.“Tomorrow,afterIwinmyplacebackasking,Ipromisetoupholdmyendofthedealandfightalongsideyouinthewar.”
Thewar?TheonethequeensaskedAnseltohelpwith?
IstaredatAxilperplexedandhestrokedmypalmwithhisthumb.‘TheNightfallqueenisattackingthefae,elvinanddragon-folkaswespeak.Wewillbenextifwedonothelpstopher.Theysavedyou.Iowethemeverything.’Hearinghisvoiceinmymindnevergotoldanditwasconfirmationthathedidindeedhavehiskingpowersback.
Inoddedmyagreementandthenfacedthethreewomen.“Thankyoufor…”IlookedatAnsel’sdeadbodyontheground,nowlyingstillinapuddleofhisownblood.
Madelynnsteppedforward.“Ofcourse.Weweren’tgoingtolethimhurtyou.”
Myheartswelled.Thesewomendidn’tevenknowme,andthey’dbrokenAxiloutofthatdungeonandstolentheverybreathfromareigningking’slungsinordertokeepmefrombeingdefiled.
“Canyoustaythenight?”Iaskedthem.“We’llhaveanicemealpreparedforyouall.Youmustbefamishedfromthetrip.”
AxilandIhadn’teatenandneitherhadthesewomen.Instead,they’dbeenthrowninacellupontheirarrivalandthatwasnowaytogreetvisitingroyalty.Thelowgrowlofastomachgrumblingfilledtheroomandtheelfqueengiggled.“Icouldeat.”
WealllaughedthenandthewomenlefttheroomasAxilpulledmenexttohimtofollow.Glancingovermyshoulder,IlookedbackonelasttimeatthedeadbodyofAnselMoon.Iftheyhadn’tsavedme,thatwouldhavebeenareallybadsituation.
NowIhadotherthingstoworryabout.Likemymangettingkilledtomorrowforfightingtokeephiscrown.FOURTEEN
We’dsentsomeoneintocheckonAnsel’swife.ShewastraumatizedbuthappytobefreeofhismentalcontrolandwaspromptlyreturningtoCrestlinepackterritorywhereshefeltmostcomfortable.
Wewerealmostdonewithdinnerwhenthedoorstothedininghallopened.I’dsentamessengertobringmybrothers,Eliza,andDorianintovisit.
Themomenttheyentered,Igotupandrantothem.ElizapulledmeintoatighthuginwhichOslosandwichedmeinbyclingingtomyback.“Weweresoworried,”shesaid.
IpulledbackandpattedOslo’shairdown.Hewasteary-eyedandcouldn’tspeak.
Cyrusrestedahandonmyshoulder.“Gladyouareokay.”
Inodded.
Dorianwaslast.Hesimplylookedatmequizzically.“Youagedmetenyears,child.”
Igrinnedatthatandthenwrappedmyarmsaroundhim.HestiffenedforamomentbutthenherappedmybackhardthreetimesandIpulledaway.
“Didyouhearthat—”Istarted,butElizacutmeoff.
“AnselisdeadandnowAxilfightsinthemorningtoretainalphastatus?”
“Weheard,”Doriansaidandthenlookedattheotherpeopleintheroom.
Right.Itwasprobablybignews.
“Guys,thisistheelfqueen,Kailani,thefaequeen,Madelynn,andthedragonqueen,Arwen.”Iintroducedmyfriendsandfamilytothequeenswe’dhadthepleasureofspendingthepasthourdiningwithandgettingtoknow.
EveryonejoinedusatthelongtableandDorianclearedhisthroat,lookingatAxil.“Mylord,mayIspeakfreelyaboutthechallengetomorrow?”
Istiffened.Ididn’twanttotalkaboutthat,Ididn’twantAxiltoparticipateinthat.ButIsawnootherway.
Axilnodded.“Ofcourse,Dorian,Irespectyourcounsel.”
Dorianhadbeenalphaforalongtime,sinceIwasalittlegirl,anditwasniceofAxiltorecognizehisseniorityandexperience.
“FromwhatI’veheardaroundthecamp,you’llhavefivechallengers,maybesix.”
“Six!”Iscreeched.
Axiltookaslowsipofwaterandsaidnothing.
“ButtheonlyoneyouwillhavetoworryaboutisBrutus,”Dorianwenton.
“Isn’theIvanna’salpha?”Iasked.
“Yes,he’smorebeastthanmanandworsethanKingAnselwasasfarasfairnessgoes,”DoriantoldAxil.
Axilinclinedhishead.“Iheardheeatsrawbearinheartforbreakfast,inhishumanform,justtomakehispackfearhim.”
Rawbearinheartinhumanform?
Gross.Ilovedmeatasmuchasthenextwolvenbuteatingtheheartrawwhileinhumanformwasapowerplay.
“Youshouldfighthimfirst,whileyou’refresh,”CyrusaddedbutDoriancuthimoff.
“That’sthethingIwantedtowarnyouabout.Youradvisorshadthempicksticks:Brutuswillbeyourlastfightoftheday.”
MyheartdroppedintomygutlikeastoneandIglancedaroundthetabletoseethefacesofmyfriends,newandoldalike.
Itwasn’tgood.Theywereallwearingthesamelookofpityyouworewhensomeonewasdying.
“Canheusehiskingpower?”IknewtheanswerbeforeIasked.
“No,”Doriansaid.
Axillookedacrossthetableatmyalphathen.“Thanksfortheheadsup.I’llsavemyenergyforthefinalfight.”
No.
Sixalphachallengefightsinoneday?Therehadtobearuleaboutthat.AtearslippedoutofmyeyeandontothetableandIbatteditawayquicklybutQueenKailaninoticed.
Shegaveahugefakeyawn,stretchingherarmsaboveherhead.“Boy,amItired.Weshouldallgetsomerest.”
Madelynncaughtontohertrainofthought.“Sotired.”Shestoodandsodidthedragonqueen.
QueenArwenlookeddownatAxil.“Wewillstayforthefightstomorrowandthenleavetosendwordbacktoourhusbandswiththeresults.”
Yeah,shewouldstaybecauseshewasn’tsureifshewouldevenhaveakingandhisarmytohelpjoinherwar.IfAxildied,IdoubtedBrutuswouldbeinclinedtomarchourpeopleoffintouncertainty.
Theroomclearedoutthen.MybrothersandElizagavemeonemorequickhugbeforetheyleftandthenIfoundmyselfalonewithAxilforthefirsttimesincehe’dsteppeddownaskingjusttobewithme.
Howmuchdidhehavetolovemetodothat?MyheartsuddenlyswelledwithadorationandIstood,crossingthedininghalluntilIwasbeforehim.HepulledhischairoutandIswungmylegoverhimsothatIsatstraddlinghim.HishandscameupunderneathmytunictostrokemybackandIwhisperedintohisear,“Ican’tloseyou.”
HishandsstilledandthenIpulledbackandpeereddownathim.TherewassomuchpassioninthatgazeIfeltconsumedbyit.
“Zara,I’vewaitedyearstofinallyhaveyou.I’mnotlettinganythingtearusapart.Evendeath.”
Diditworklikethat?Woulddeathnotclaimhimbecauseitfeltsorryforus?Agirlcoulddream.WhatAxilneededwassomeonerootinghimon,awomanwhostoodbyhimandbelievedinhim.
“Good,”Itoldhim,leaningforwardanddraggingmytongueacrosshislips.“BecauseIhaven’tkissedyouenoughforyoutodieyet.”
Hegrowled,graspingmybuttandstandingwithmeinhisarms.Walkingovertotheedgeofthetable,hedroppedmedownontoit.Hislipslockedwithmineandthenheconsumedme.Everyinchofmybodywaskissedonthattable.Hethrewthedirtyfoodplatestothefloor,uncaringaboutthemessitmade.Inthatmomentweallowedlovetodevourusboth,mind,bodyandsoul.
IwasAxil’sandhewasmine.Ifhediedtomorrow,Iwouldhavenoothersafterhim.Therewasnopointincomparinganymantothisonewhoheldmenow.Theydidn’tpaleincomparison,theyvanished.FIFTEEN
Watchingawolftearintothemanthatyouloved,whileyoustoodbyhelpless,wasthemostgut-wrenchingthingI’deverhadtodo.NowIknewhowAxilmusthavefeltwhenhe’dwatchedmedothesameoverthelastweek.Hewasonhisfifthfightnowandthoughhewaswinning,hewashurt.Ididn’tunderstandwhyhewasn’tallowedtodoonefightadayorsomethingmoremanageable,butIsupposediftheywantedthestrongesttoleadus,thiswashiswaytoproveit.
Fightsixalphasinonedayandlivetotellthetale.
TheRoyalGuardstoodinasemi-circletowardsthebackofthefight,nodoubtwonderingwhotheywouldbepledgingtheirallegiancetoattheendoftheday
NowIstoodinalmostthesamespotasAxilhadwhenhe’dwatchedmefightintheQueenTrials,rightnexttohisemptythrone.ThequeensofAvalierstoodbesidemeasIheldontoEliza’shandinfearandAxiltoreintohisopponent’sneck.
Onemorefight,ItoldmyselfandthenglancedoveratthegiantofamanwhowouldbeAxil’slastopponent.BrutuswaswiderthanAxilandprobablytallertoo.Hisarmswereriddledwithsmallscarsthatlookedtobefromaknifeandhisheadwasshavedclean.BrutusstoodtallashewatchedAxilattempttoendthelifeoftheCopperCanyonalpha.
IsteeledmyselfasAxiltookthewolf’sneckintohismouthandthenalargeshadowpassedoverallofus.Everysinglepersoninthecrowdcranedtheirneckandtiltedtheirfacesupwardtowardsthesky.Theypointedtosomethingandthenashadowblottedoutthesun.
Ispuntoseeagiantblackdragondescendingfromtheclouds.TheRoyalGuardmovedtoreachfortheirbowsbutthedragonqueenrushedforward.
“He’swithme,”sheassuredthem.
Istaredinaweasthelargeblackdragonlandedontheopengrasswithamansittinginasaddleonhisback.
Thedragonkingwashere.
ThesoundofAxil’swhimperdrewmyattentionbacktothefightandmyheadwhippedaroundjustintimetoseetheCooperCanyonwolfhe’dpinnedswipehisclawrightacrossAxil’seye,nearlytakingitoutofthesocket.
No!
Axillungedforwardandfinishedthewolf,rippinghisthroatoutinonecleanbitebutmyheartleaptintomyownthroatwhenhelookedbackatmewithoneclosedeye.
He’dlosthissightinoneeye.
No.
No.
No.
Itwasadeathsentence.EspeciallygoingupagainstBrutusnext.IlookedoveratIvanna’soldalphaandhewasgrinningeartoear.
“Alright,finalfightoftheday.Let’sdothis.”BrutussteppedintotheringandIdidaswell,agrowlrisinginmythroat.HewascompletelyignoringthefactthatadragonhadjustlandedonthelawnandthatAxilhadaninjuredeye.Itwasaweakmove,oneIneededtoprotectmymanfrom.
“Thekingneedswaterandtoholdcouncilwithhistrainingcoaches,”Icalledout,stallingfortime.
Trainingcoaches?Technicallyhedidn’tevenhaveone.ButDorianandCyruscouldpretendtogivehimtacticaladvicesothatwecouldcheckhiseyeandgivehimachancetocatchhisbreath.Ifwestalledlongenough,maybehiseyecouldnaturallyheal.Maybeitwasn’tthatbad.Maybe—
“What’sgoingonhere?”acommandingvoiceboomedfrombehindme.I’dforgottenaboutthedragonking.He’dcomeatthewrongtimeifhewantedustorolloutthepleasantries.
DorianandCyrusmovedintothecenterofthefightingringtocheckonAxilwhileIturnedtofaceArwen’shusband.
Hewasamountainofaman,builtmuchmorelikeuswolventhantheskinnyfaeandelvin.Hewasstaringwide-eyedatAxil’sbleedingwolfinthecenterofthefightingring,clearlyshockedtoseehisoldfriend,theking,insuchastate.
Oneofthered-robedadvisorssteppedclosertothedragonkingandextendedhishand.“KingDraeValdren?You’vecomeataninopportunetime—”
“Whatisgoingonhere?”thedragonkingcommandedagain,holdingthestareofthewolvenadvisorlikeanalphawould.Ilikedthathewascreatingascene,becauseitwasbuyingtimeforCyrusandDoriantotendtoAxilsoIsaidnothing.
Theadvisorclearedhisthroat.“Theremustbetwoheirsofroyalbloodorthekinghastoenterintoachallengefightwithwhomeverchallengeshim,”hesaid.“Lastnight,AnselMoonwaskilledand,therefore,KingAxilmustfighttokeephisplaceasourleader.”
DraelookedupsetatthatnewsthathisoldfriendwashavingtofighttokeephisbirthrightandIinstantlyfeltguiltyforputtinghiminthatpositionbykillingAnsel.Maybeweshouldhavejustlockedhimup…
Atallandslenderblondmaleelfsteppedupbesidethedragonkingandrubbedhischin,staringatme.Hewasthemanwho’dbeenridingonthedragonking’sback.Kailaniwanderedovertohimandkissedhischeek.
Ahh,theelvinking.
“Therearetwoheirs,”theelfkingstated.
Theadvisorrolledhiseyes.“Whatdoyouknow,elf?Youjustgothere.LikeIsaid,masterAnselwaskilledlastnight,thereforeonlyonewolvencarriestheMoonbloodline—”
Theelfkingsteppedclosertotheadvisorandtippedhisheaduphighandhispowerchargedtheair,caressingmyskinlikeatangiblething.“Therearetwoifyouincludetheonegrowinginherbelly.”Hepointedtomeandthebreathwasstolenfrommylungs.
“Impossible!”theadvisorcommanded.“ItisforbiddenforthekingtohaveanyrelationshipwithacandidateintheQueenTrials.”
Oops.Iwasgoingtohavetoletthattruthcomeout.
Wasthisaruse?Hecouldn’tpossiblyknowIwaspregnantthisearly.WasIpregnant?Mymonthlybleedingwasn’tdueforoveraweekandwe’donlybeddedtwice.Myhearthammeredinmychestlikeaterrifiedelkinbuthopealsogrewinsideofme.Evenifthiswerealie,itwasagoodone.Axil’sfriendwascunningandthiscouldkeephimfromhavingtofight.
“WehavebeddedsinceIarrivedherelastweek,”Iblurtedouttotheshockedgaspsaroundme.NotexactlyqueenlybehaviorbutIdidn’tcare–whateverkeptthisrusegoing.
WhateversavedAxilfromhavingtofightBrutuswithoneeye.
“Lies!”someonefromCrestlinepackcalledout.“He’stryingtogetoutoffightingBrutus.”
Theelfkinglookedatthemanwho’dyelled.“IamRaifeLightstone,kingoftheelvesandthegreatesthealertoeverbeknown.Icandetectlifeinawoman’sbellybeforeevensheknows.”Hisvoicewasstrongbutheldathreattoit.
Chillsranthelengthofmyentirebodythen.Washetellingthetruth?CouldIreallybewithchild?TearsfilledmyeyesbecauseIwantedittobetruesobadly.
Thesurroundingwolvesgaspedandsomeclappedexcitedly.AxilwasbelovedamonghispeopleandIknewtheywantedhimtocarryonhisreignifpossible.
“Proveyouaretheelfking!We’veneverseenyou.Otherwisethiscouldbeatrick!”someoneyelled.
JustwhenIwonderedhowintheMaker’snamehewoulddothat,Raifenodded,walkingovertoAxil’swolf.
AxilwaslyinginapoolofbloodwithCyrusandDorianhoveringoverhimtryingtoinspecthim.Therewerewoundsallovermybelovedanditwascleartoseehiseyeballandlidhadbeenpuncturedandtornrightthrough.
TheelfkingkneeledbeforeAxil,andCyrusandDorianlefttogivethemspace.
RaifelookeddownatAxilwithagrin.“Hello,oldfriend.”
TheelfkingplacedhispalmoverAxil’seyeandapurplelightemanatedfromhishand,causingtheentirecrowd,myselfincluded,togasp.KingRaifescruncheduphisface,squintinghisowneyeandIwonderedifthisprocesssomehowhurthim.
Wewatchedinwonderasamomentortwolater,theelfkingremovedhishandandAxil’seyewashealed.HeblinkedupatRaifewithawolfishgrinonhisface.RaifethenleftthefightingringandcametostandbyhiswifeasDorianwhistledtogetthecrowd’sattention.
“Wehaveourproof.Therearetwoheirs!ThatmeansAxilisstillrightfulking!”Dorianshouted.
“No!”BrutusbellowedandlungedforAxil’swolf,shiftinginmidair.ItwasthefastestshiftI’deverseen.
IlookedattheRoyalGuard,whostoodatthesidesoftheringandwereclosesttoAxil.“Protectyourking!”Iscreamed,runningformymatebutIwastoofarawaytostopit.
Myheartwasinmythroat,asAxilbaredhisteeth,takingthehitofBrutus’wolfhead-on.TheycrashedtogethersnarlingandthentheRoyalGuardpounced.Youhadn’tseenfightinguntilyou’dseentheruthlessRoyalGuardwolvesofDeathMountain.TheysharedonemindastheyadvancedonBrutusinpackformation.Dirtkickedup,obscuringmyvisionandthesoundoftearingfleshcouldbeheard.StripsoffurandmeatwerethrownoutoftheswarmingfightandIcouldn’ttakeitanymore.Imovedtorushdeeperintothecloudofdirtwhensomeonegrabbedmefrombehind.
“Igotthis.”Madelynn’svoicereachedmyearandthenagreatwindrushedpast,pushingthedirtcloudoutoftheway.
IsighedinreliefwhenIsawthatAxilhadnotmovedfromwherehe’dbeenstandingamomentago.TheRoyalGuardhadtornBrutustopiecesinfrontofhim.
ItwasoverandreliefranthroughmeatthefactthatAxilhadkepthislifeandhistitleaskingwolven.
Axilstartedtoshiftthen,intohishumanform.CyrussteppedforwardandhandedhimsometrousersandthenAxilwalkedtowardsme.Whenoureyesmet,myheartexplodedbecauseAxillookedatmybellyandgrinned.
Achild.
Ipeeredattheelfkingandhenodded,asiftellingmethiswasreal,notafarcetosavehisfriendfromthechallengefight.
IrantoAxil,steppingoverthecarnageandnotallowingittodampenthismomentforus.We’dmadealifetogether,alifethatwouldbebornofourlove,carryingwithitourstruggletofindandfinallybewitheachother.
Icrashedintohimandhisarmscamearoundmeandheliftedmeintotheair,smilingupatme.
“Youwereworththewait,mylove,”hewhisperedagainstmylips.
ThecrowdcheeredallaroundusandIgrinnedagainsthismouth,lovingthatourpeoplewerewithus.
SomeoneclearedtheirthroatbehindmeandAxilsetmedownaswebothturnedtofacethedragonking.
“Ihatetobreakthisup,Axil,butourdearfriendLucienisholdingoffanentirearmybyhimselfandwecouldreallyuseyourhelp.”ThedragonkingtappedhistempletoindicateAxil’sgiftofbeingabletocontrolpeople.Iknewitwasaninvaluableassetintimesofwarbuthavingjustbeenonthereceivingendofit,Iwasn’tkeenonseeingAxilusethatpoweronothersanytimesoon
Axilsidesteppedmeandpulledthedragonkingintoahug,rappinghisbackhardtwice.“It’sgoodtoseeyou,brother.”
ThenRaifewasthere,hugginghimaswellandalleyeswereonmymate.Wouldheholduphisendofthebargain,wouldhecallourpeopletowartohelphisfriends?
Ihopedso.WeowedthemeverythingandAxilwasamanofhisword.
AxillookedoverathisleadRoyalGuard.“Readythetroopsforwar.Halfofeachhouseholdoversixteenmustvolunteer,manorwoman,Idon’tcare.”
Chillsrushedupmyarms.Thiswashappening.I’dneverknownwarinmylifetimebutIhadheardoftheNightfallqueen’swickedways.AndIhadgrowntocareforKailani,MadelynnandArwen.Weowedthemourlifeandawarnotfoughttodaywouldeventuallyfinditswaytoourdoorsteptomorrow.
“TheNightfallqueenhasdeclaredwaronallcreatureswithmagic!”Axilbellowedtotheamassedcrowd.“Let’sshowherthatawolfcannotbetamed!”
Roarsandhowlsroseupinagreementandthenthecrowddispersedtopackuptheircamps.
Whenthealphagaveanorder,youdidn’targue.Thatwasthewolvenway.
Awomansteppedforwardthen,notgoingofftopackuphertentwiththerest,andIknewIrecognizedherfromsomewhere.
Ohyes.Brutus’wife.
“Zarawasgoingtoforfeit.Shecan’tbequeen,”thewomansaid.
Everyonefrozewhattheyweredoingandturnedtofacethewoman.Ihadtobitebackagrowlandthensteppedclosertoher.
“Ididthattosaveapacksister,”Imutteredthroughmyteethather,andthenlookedtothecrowd,holdingupmyarms.“Anywomanwhothinkstheyarestrongerthanme,Ichallengeyourighthereandnow!”Ibellowed,myhandsballingtofists.IwouldripapartanyfemaleIhadtoinordertokeepAxil.
AheavysilencedescendedoverthepeopleandIallowedmyangeratthiswomantorushthroughmebutforcedmywolftostayatbay.IneededtolooklikeIwasincontrol.
TomysurpriseElizasteppedintothefightcircleandmyheartsankintomystomach.Therewereafewgaspsfromsomeofthewomenwatching.
Iwasmorehurtthanmadthatshewouldchallengeme.Why?“’Liza—”Istarted,butthenshedroppedtoherkneebeforemeandbowedherhead.
NowIunderstood.She,asthelastlivingchampionoftheQueenTrials,wassendingamessagetotheotherwomen,anditcausedalumptoforminmythroat.Amara,frommyownpacksteppedintothecirclenextandtookthekneeaswell.Thenanother,andanother,untiltwodozenwomenwereontheirkneesbeforeme.EmotioncloggedmythroatbutIswallowedhardandtippedmyheaduphigh.
Axilsteppedupnexttomeandthenpeeredattheroyalwolvenadvisors.Therewerefiveofthemstandingtherewatchingthedisplayofsubmissionwithfemalewolveswhowereanythingbutsubmissive.
“Whatdomyadvisorssay?”AxilaskedthemandIsteeledmyself.
Theylookedatoneanother,andthenonebyonenodded.
“AxilMoonremainskingandZaraSwiftwateristhepeople’schosenqueen,”oneoftheadvisorsdeclared.
ThewomenstoodthenandElizarushedtohugme.Iwrappedmyarmsaroundherandwishedthatwecouldcelebrate.Reliefandexcitementfilledmeupinequalmeasurebuttherewasalsoasenseofforeboding.
Thewar.
ElizareleasedmeandIpivotedtoseethatthedragonkingandqueenwerealreadyintheirdragonformswithbasketsaddlesontheirbacks,waiting.
Timewasoftheessenceandcelebrationswouldhavetowait.
Thiswasit.
Thetestingofmycapabilityasqueenwasathand.SIXTEEN
Therewasnotimeforawedding.Ididn’tneedoneanyway.AxilwasmineandIwashis.I’dbeendeclaredqueenbythecouncil,therewasnoneedforfancydressesanddancing.I’dneverwantedanyofthat,Ijustwantedhim.Wewereacceptedbyourpeople,asmatesandmonarchs,andthat’sallthatmatteredtome.
We’dleftAxil’sleadRoyalGuardinchargeofthewareffort.Thewolventroopsweresettoridetoouraidimmediatelybutwecouldnotwaittotravelwiththemonfoot.Thefaekingneededusnow.AxilhadspokenofLucienandhisdearfriendshipandunshakablealliancewiththekingsofAvalierthatsummeratcampwhenwewerefifteen.Howhewentonceayeartoaretreattospendtimewiththemandstrengthentheirbond.Thoughitseemedlikethey’dfallenawayfromeachotherforsometime,itwaslikenotimewaslostbetweenthemnow.
IwatchedhappilyasRaifeandAxilcaughteachotheruponallthey’dmissedaswerodeatopthedragonking.Nexttous,KailaniandMadelynnflewonArwen’sback.
“Married.IneverthoughtI’dseetheday,”AxilsaidtoRaifeovertheroaringwind.
Raifesmiled.“Youdon’tletawomanlikeKailanigetaway.”HelookedacrossthecloudsathiswifeandIcouldn’thelpbutmatchhissmile.IinstantlylikedRaife:anymanwhospokesokindlyabouthiswifewasgoodinmybook.
“So,what—”Axilstartedwhenafrigidchillslammedintous.Suddenlywewereinthecenterofasnowstormthathadcomeoutofnowhere.
Iknewthewinterkinghadareputationofhavinganawesomepowerthathecouldn’tquitecontrol,andnowIwasseeingitfirst-hand.
BymycalculationswewerestillinArchmere,elvinterritory,whereitdidnotsnowthistimeofyearifever.Raifelookedconcerned,hisbrowsknottingtogetherinthecenterofhisforehead.“Thewarmusthavegottenworsesinceweleftonlyafewshorthoursago,”hesaid.
Thedragonkingswoopedlow,belowthethicksnowyclouds,andahorrifyingsightcameintoview.Thousandsofsoldiers,forasfarastheeyecouldsee,wereattemptingtoinfiltrateArchmere.
Therewasanicewall,growingalongtheborderasIlookedandblockingthemenfromadvancingacross.
Elvinwarriorsrantomeetthem,theirarrowssailingovertheicewallandimpalingtheNightfallsoldiers.
“Getmelower!”MadelynnscreamednexttousandArwenswoopeddowntowardsthearmyofmenontheNightfallside.
Draefollowedhiswifeandthensuddenlywewereinthethickofthewar.
“There’ssomany,”Ibreathed.Axilreachedoutandthreadedhisfingersintomineaswepeeredatthecarnagefirst-hand.Deadbodieswerestrewnoneithersideoftheborder,Nightfallwarriorsworemetalglintingcontraptionsontheirwristsandsomeflungwindandfirelikeafae.
MadelynnhadtoldusoftheNightfallqueenstealingmagicalpowersbutuntilnow,Ihadn’tseenitformyself.
“No,”Axilgrowledandchillsbrokeoutontomyarms.Ifollowedhislineofsightandmyheartleaptintomythroat.
Awolf.
Itwassmallerthanarealwolvenandlessmuscular,anditwasrunningontheNightfallside.
“Theystealourmagicbutit’snotasgoodoreffectiveforthem,”Raifetoldus.
Rageburnedbrightlyinsideofmeandthat’swhenIgottowitnessthefullextentofMadelynn’sawesomepower.
Herbattlecrycamefirst,andthenawallofwindslammedintotheNightfalloffensive,bodiesweretossedintotheairlikeleaves,thrownbackhundredsoffeet.Treessnappedinhalfandtheverygrasswasrippedfromtheearth.She’dclearedtheentireborderforahundredyardswithoutharmingtheicewallorasingleelvinwarrior.
“Takethat,Zaphira!”shecriedfromatopArwenandIlookedoveratherinawe.
Thesewomen,thesequeensthatInowwasequaltoinstatus,wereawe-inspiring.
“She’samazing,”Ibreathed.
Raifesmiled.“ProbablymorepowerfulthanLucien,butdon’ttellhimIsaidthat.”
Weflewovermorefightingandcarnage,makingourwaytoThorngateasMadelynnhelpedtoequalizethewarfromabove.ButthecloserwegottotheNightfallCitycastleborder,themorethingslookedbleakeronourside.Raifepaledbesidemeaswestaredatthebodiesoffallenelvesandfaealike.Itlookedliketheenemyhadsomehowgottenoverthetwenty-footslickicewall.
“Howdidtheydothat?”Iasked,peeringoverthesideofthedragonandthendowntoseethingsmoreclosely.
“Someofthemcanflyand—”ThewordsdiedinRaife’sthroatasweallwatchedacreatureontheNightfallsideleapoverthebarrierwitheaseandlandinArchmere.
Chillsrushedupmyarms.
No.Itcouldn’tbe.Theywerenearlyallwipedout.
ThecreaturerantothenearestelfwarriorataspeedIcouldbarelytrackandthengraspedherbythehead,bringinghernecktohismouth.Ashedrankfromher,myfiststightenedatmysides.
Necros.
“Maker,helpus,”Raifebreathed.“ThenecromerianshavetakenNightfall’sside.”Hisvoicewashollow,fullofshock.
“No,”AxilsaidandIcouldheartheastonishmentinhisvoice.“They’reneutral.Theyhaven’tfoughtinawarforeons.”
ItwastruetheywerereclusiveoutcastsamongallAvalieriansbutasmoreandmoreofthemsoaredoverthebarrier,werealizedtheywerenolongerneutral.
Thenecroswereblood-suckingcreaturesthatwalkeduprightlikemen,andyetcouldleapahundredfeetintotheairandbreakyourbackinhalfwithonesnap.Ihatedtoadmitthatfearconsumedmethen.
I’dneverfoughtanecrobefore,orseenone,beforethismoment.OnlyhadIheardstoriesoftheirkind:Ithoughttheycouldn’tgooutinsunlightbutclearlythatwasarumor.AfemalenecrowithlongblackhairlookedupatDraeandthencrouched.Withinsecondsshesoaredintotheskyasifshewereflying!ShelaunchedrightatuswhenDraebelchedastreamoffireandthenshefelltothegroundwithathud.
MyheartracedasItookintheentirescene.TurningtoAxilwithwideeyes,Ireachedforhishand.“Wehavetohelpthem.”
Innocentelvinpeoplewerebeingslaughtered.
Axilnodded,leaningovertheedgeofthebasketsaddle.Iknewwhathewasabouttodo.I’dneverseenhimusetheking’spowerandafterwitnessingAnseluseitwrongly,itmademenervous.Butifhecouldstopthosebloodsuckersfromkillingelvin,Iwasallforit.
DraeswoopedlowtothegroundandIsteeledmyself,unsurewhetherAxilwouldthrowhishandsuporshoutacommand,butno.Hejustglaredatthedozensofadvancingnecromeriansandonebyonetheystumbledovertheirfeet,thenbecamelikerigidsoldiers,andIknewhehadcontroloverthem.Theymarchedwithoutanimationovertothenearestweaponorsharpobjectandimpaledthemselvesuponit.IwincedatthesightbutIalsoapproved.
Thiswaswarandwhenyouwereatwar,itwasacaseofanythinggoes.
RaifeclaspedAxilonthebackingratitudeandAxilnodded.ItwasoneofthedarkestthingsI’deverseen.Tomakesomeoneendtheirownlife…butthey’dchosentheirsideandwehadtoseeitthroughnow.Untiltheend.
Aftertakingcareofthenecromerians,DraeflewushigherandintoThorngatewherethetemperatureplunged.ThickchunksofsnowfellfromtheskyasIpulledmyfurstighteraroundme.
Innotimeatallwewerelandingbeforeagiantwhitecastle,blanketedinsnow.
ThiswasthefamedWinterCourt.
MadelynnleaptoffofArwenandboltedinside,seeminglyinsearchofherhusband.IfollowedRaifewholedAxilandIpastfrontstepsfilledwithsoldiers,andinside.
Themomentwecrossedthethreshold,Iwasblastedwiththewarmthofafire,andwasgratefulforit.Madelynnwastherehuggingahandsome-lookingverytallfaewithink-blackhair.TheypulledawaywhentheysawusandLucienThornetookonelookatAxilandme,andgrinned.“Youcame.”
Iwasn’tsureifIwereimaginingitbutthepupilsinLucien’seyeslookedcloudedlikesnow.Whateverstormwashappeningoutside,hewassomehowcontrollingitinhere.
Axilsteppedforwardandembracedhisfriend.“OfcourseIcame:yousentthebox.Ihadnochoice.”
LucienchuckledandbynowArwen,DraeandKailanihadjoinedus.
“Thenecromerianshavejoinedthefight?”Raifesaidbesideus.
Lucienlookedstressed,reachinguptorubathistemples.“Rightafteryouflewaway,wegotthefirstwaveofthem.Didn’tunderstandwhatIwasseeingforasecond.”
Thedragonkingletoutalowwhistle.“IwonderhowZaphiragotthenecrostoagreetofightagainstus.”
“Whocares:howdowedefeatthem?”Arwenaskedandwenttostandnexttoherhusband.
EveryoneturnedtolookatAxil,myselfincluded.
“Canyoucontrolthemall?”Lucienasked.
Axilshookhishead.“Anentirearmy?I’mnotsuremymindcandothatalone.”
“Iunderstand,”Luciensaidbutheappeareddistraught.
“Alone?”Iasked,noticingthatAxilhadusedspecificwording.
Hestaredwarilyatme,almostasifhedidn’twantmetopickuponthat.“Icould,forashortperiodoftime,sharetheking’spowerwithanotherdominantwolf.”
Anotherdominantwolf.Me.
“Let’sdoit,”Isaidimmediately.
Heshookhishead.“Whatifyougethurtor…”Hepeeredatmystomach.IhadwantedtopullRaifeasideandaskifitwasreallytrue,ifIwasreallypregnantbutIdidn’thaveachance.Maybeitwasalljustaruse.
“I’mstrong,yousaidsoyourself,andanychildwemakewillbethesame,”Itoldhim.
Hesighedandtheninclinedhishead.“Areyousureyoucanhandlethis?”
“Completelysure.”
Raiferubbedhishandstogetherinexcitement.“Ifyoucansharetheburdenofholdingbackthenecros,itcouldsavethousandsoflives.Justlongenoughforustobreakthroughandkillthequeen.”HelookedatAxilhopefully.
AxilglancedatmeagainasifheneededmoreconfirmationthatItrulydesiredtodothis.Ireachedoutandsqueezedhishand,anideaforminginmymind.“I’llbetwecouldgetsomehorsesaddlesmodifiedtofitonourwolvenbacks.”Weweresmallerthanhorsesbutnotbymuch.
Lucien’seyeslitup.“Whatareyousuggesting?”
Igaveeveryoneinourlittlemeetingaslygrin.“AxilandIrideasateamwithoneofyouonourwolvenbacks.Weuseourpowertoholdoffanyattacksandwalkyourightintothequeen’sinnercamp.”
Draegaspedslightly.“It’sbrilliant.Yes!AndArwenandIcancircleabovetryingtokeepanyairassaultawayfromyou.”
“Iwanttodoit,”Raifesaidsuddenlyandeveryoneturnedtolookathim.
“Dowhat?”Lucienaskedhisfriend.
Thenormallypeacefulhealerfistedhishands.“IwanttobetheonetoslitherthroatandwhisperthenamesofmyfamilyinherearbeforesheburnsinHades.”
Whoa.Itwasawell-knownrumorthattheNightfallqueenhadtakenouthisentirefamily,thoughitwasoneIhadn’tbelieveduntilrightnow.
AxilplacedahandonRaife’sshoulderandsqueezed.“Youcanridewithme.”
“I’llmanagethetroopsatthefrontlinewithMadelynn.Freezeanyonewhogetsthrough,”Luciensaid.
Madelynnnodded,steppingupnexttoherhusband.
“AndIwillrideonZara,”Kailanisaidandpeeredoveratme.“Ifthat’sokay?IknowtheNightfallrealmthebest.Igrewupthere,”sheadded,alittleshamefacedly.
Igaveheraneasysmile.“That’sperfect.”I’dgivenwolf-backridestoOsloandhisfriendsallthetime,sometimesthreeofthematonce.MywolfwastentimesstrongerthanIwas.I’dbeslowerthannormalbutthatwasokay:itwasmymentalacuitythatwouldneedtobeuptothetaskifIweregoingto…controlpeopleagainsttheirwill.
Anursemaidsuddenlycameoverthenholdingtwoinfants,oneineacharmandIgasped.
Theyweresoperfectandtiny.
Withbrightgrins,DraeandArweneachreachedforababyandpulledthemtotheirchests,pepperingtheirfaceswithkisses.
“They’readorable,”ItoldArwenandshelookedupatmebeaming.Twinswerecommoninwolvenbirthstoo.Sometimestriplets.
Itmademethinkofthelifegrowinginsideofmeandwhetherthathadbeenonehundredpercenttrueornot.
“Raife,canIspeaktoyouforaminute?”Iinclinedmyheadtoaspotafewstepsawaybytheroaringfire.
Henoddedandfollowedme.
Oncehewasstandingbeforeme,Igraspedmyflatstomach.“AmIreallywithchild?Iwon’tbemadifthatwasatrickbecauseitsavedAxil’slife.”
Hebeamedatme.“Youare.It’sveryearlybutIseeitasasmallflickerofgoldenlightinyourwomb.”HeglancedatmystomachandIcouldn’tbelievehowincrediblehishealinggiftwastodetectlifeevenbeforeamothercould.“AndIdon’tthinkusinganymentalgiftswillinterferewiththepregnancyatthisstage.”
TearslinedmyeyesbutIblinkedthemback.“Thankyou,”Itoldhimandwewalkedbackovertojointheothers.IknewwithAxil’ssensitivehearingandthefactthatwehadn’tsteppedtoofarawaythathe’dprobablyheard.WhenIsteppedbackupbesidehim,heranahandovermybellyandgrinnedatme.“Okay,I’mgoingtoneedsometimetotrainZara,”hesaid.
Lucienlookedlikehewasmentallyhalfhere,andhalfwiththestormoutside.“Whenwillyourwolvesbehere?”heaskeddreamily.
“ItmighttaketwodaysormorewithsuchalargecontingentbutIcanhaveasmallereliteforceherewithinhoursifArwenandDraearewillingtoflythem,”Axilsaid,peeringatthedragonkingandqueen.
Thehusbandandwifesharedaglanceandthennodded.“Wecanflyrunsallnight,holdingtwotofourpeopleeachuntilwehaveenough.”
Thatwasarelief.IftheycouldgettheRoyalGuardherethenthenecromeriansdidn’tstandachance.
Raifeclearedhisthroat.“Iappreciatethatyou’vecalledyourentirearmyforus,Axil,butifyourpowerisgreatenough,wemaynotneedthem.Wecanendthistomorrowmorning.”
“Nopressure.”Axillaughednervously.
Raifeclappedhisdearfriendontheback.“Isawwhatyoudidbacktherewiththenecros.Itwasincredible.Wejustneedthatonalargerscale.”
Axilturnedtofaceme.“Thenifyou’llexcuseus,Zaraneedstotrain.”
Wewalkedoutofthelivingroomandintoasmalllibrary.ItwascutethatAxilseemedtoknowwherehewasgoing,whichmeanthe’dbeenherebefore.Probablyasakid.
Axillookedaround,seeminglystuckinhismemoriesandthenglancedatme.“Youknowwhatitfeelsliketopullonyourdominantpowerandholdanotherdominant’sgaze?”
Inodded.AsafemaleinapackofstrongmalesI’dhadtodoitoften.
“Well,controllinganotherpersonagainsttheirwillisalotlikethat.Butinsteadofholdingeyecontactyou…”Hislipsthinnedashestaredoffintotherowsofbooksinthedistance,seeminglyatalossforwords.“Youholdtheimageinyourmindofwhatyouwantthemtodoand…pushitoverthem.Youwraptheminituntiltheyareforcedtodoit,”hefinishedandthenshookhishead.“I’msorryI’veneverhadtoexplainthistoanotherpersonbefore.MyfathertaughtAnselandIwhenwewereyounger.”
Inodded.“That’sokay.IthinkIknowwhatyoumean.It’slikeholdingathoughtinyourheadofapersonkneeling,andtheykneel?”
“Sortof,yeah.Doyouwanttotryitonmefirst?”
Myeyeswidened.ControlAxil?Againsthiswill?ThethoughtfeltsowrongandyetIknewhewasthebestpersontopracticewith.
“Uh,sure,”Isaidhesitantly.
“Youwon’thurtme,”hesaid,andthenplacedhisarmovermine.“Holdmygaze.”
Ihadfriendswhoweresubmissivesandtheysaiditwasuncomfortabletoholdadominant’sgaze,thatwhentheylockedeyeswiththeiralphafortoolong,theirinsideschurned.
Notme.Itgavemeathrill.MyheartwouldpoundinanticipationofhowlongIwouldbeabletoholdit.
“I’llhavetobringyouintoDeathMountainpack,”hestated.
EventhoughIknewthatwasinevitable,myheartpinchedalittleatthethoughtofleavingDorian,Amara,mybrothers…Eliza.Theywouldn’tbepackfamilyanymore.ButAxilwasmyfamilynow,andsowasthischildinmybellyandI’dhavetojoinDeathMountainpacktotrulybequeenofthewolven.
“Okay.”Ihandedhimmywristupturned.
IlockedeyeswithAxilfiercely,grittingmyjawashedraggedaclawedfingerdownmyarmanddrewblood.ThedominanceofthealphakingwasunlikeanythingIcoulddescribetoanoutsider.LookingatAxilnow,therewasaknowingthathecouldtakemeinafight,thathecouldtakeovermywill,butalsothathewouldprotectmeatallcosts,thatIcoulddependonhimforanything.That’swhattruedominancewasinawolfpack.Myleader,myprotector,mymate.
Igaspedwhenhepressedhisbloodywristtomine.
“ZaraMoon…”HegavemehislastnameandIhadtosuppressawhimperofsurprise.Itfeltsoright.“IclaimyouforDeathMountainpackandIsharethisburdenwithyou.Themagicofmyforefathers.”
IgaspedasIfeltaliteraltearingawayfrommybrother,Dorian,Eliza,everyoneintheMudFlats.Itwaslikeaconstantknowledgeinthebackofyourmindthatsomeonewasthereandnowtheyweresuddenlygone.Itwasreplacedwithnewpeople,AxilandalloftheDeathMountainwolves.ThenIfelthismagic,andIwasn’tpreparedforthehotbuzzingsensationtocrawlupmyveinsandintomychest.Ishudderedasthemagiccompletelyenteredmeandsettledjustundermyskin.
“Youfeelit?”
Iswallowedhardandnodded.Itwasanunnervingthing,likeyouweresharingyourbodywithsomeoneelse.Mywolfwasthere,andoneother.Thismagic.
IrealizedthenthatI’dbeenholdinghisgazetheentiretimewithoutissue.“You’llbemoredominantwhileyoucarrythepower,”hetoldmeandthensteppedfivepacesawayfromme,puttinghishandsathissides.“Nowmakemekneel.”
Iswallowedhard,tryingtoconcentrate.
“Kneel!”Ishoutedwithforce,butnothinghappened.
Axilshookhishead.“Youdon’thavetosayit.Anseldidthatfortheatrics.Focusonthevisionofmykneelingandthenwrapitinthemagicand…throwitatme.”
Right.
Closingmyeyes,Ienvisionedthekingofthewolvenbowinghisheadanddroppingtoonekneebeforeme.IfeltthemagicstirtolifeinsideofmeandIopenedmyeyesandpushedthatvisionoverhimasifIwerethrowingafishingnetandcapturinghiminit.
Hewincedforasecondandthendroppedtooneknee,headbowed.
Igasped,releasingtheholdIhadoverhimandhelookedupatmewithagrin.
“You’reanatural.”
Myheartpoundedasthepowercoursedthroughme.“You’vehadthisthewholetime?”Iaskedhim,lookingatmyhandsasiftheywereweapons.
Henodded.“Theburdenofawolvenking.Knowingwhentouseitandwhentorefrain.Somethingmybrotherneverlearned.”Hegrowledthatlastpart.
“Howdoyouusethisonmultiplepeople?”Iasked,thinkingoftheimpendingarmyofblooddrinkingnecromerianswewereabouttoattack.
Hesighed,steppingclosertome.“Veryskillfully.”Hereachedoutandtracedthesideofmycheek.“Mostmenwouldwanttotucktheirwomanawayandhideherfromharm,butIknowhowstrongyouare,”hetoldme,eyesblazingyellow.“Iknowthatwecanwinthiswar,together.”
Hisconfidenceinmyabilitiesmademesmile.
“Withthatbeingsaid…”
IsteeledmyselfforhimtotellmetostayhomebecauseIwasfragile,orpregnant,orboth.
“HowaboutIworryaboutsubduingthemasses,andyoujustmakeapaththroughitallsowecangetRaifetothequeen.”
Hedidn’twantmetotakeontoomuchstressandIunderstoodthat.
IdippedmychinindicatingIunderstoodandagreed.“Nooffensetotheelfking,butisn’theahealerandnotafighter?”
IhatedtoquestionhisdearfriendbutwasthismangoingtobeabletokillthefamedNightfallqueen,Zaphira?
Axilgavemeawolfishgrin.“Raifecouldsplitanarrowfromamileaway.”
Okay,clearlyIhadmisjudgedthegreathealerandhadcompletelyforgottenaboutthefamedelvinBowMen.
“Butwithouthisbow?”Iasked;IhatedtoadmitIhadabitofaprejudicethinkingthattheelveswereweakwarriorscomparedtothedragon-folkorfae.
Axilplacedbothhandsonmyshoulders.“TheNightfallqueenkilledhisentirefamily.Poisonedtheminfrontofhim.Nothingburnsbrighterthanthehatredhehasofthiswoman.Hewillremoveherheartfromherchestwithhisbarefingersifhehasto.”
Inoddedwithapproval.Nowthatsoundedlikemykindofwarrior.
“ThenI’mready.Let’sdothis.”Istoodtallandproud.IwantedAxiltoknowthatIwaswithhim,ashismate,hisqueen,nomatterwhat.
Hechuckled.“Easythere.Let’spracticeabitmorefirst.”
***
Fourhourslater,afteralargedinnerandnearing2a.m.,IhadallthekingsandqueensofAvalierbowingbeforemeinthedrawingroom.I’dbeenpracticingforovertwohoursandArwenandDraehadjustgotbackfromtheirsecondrun.WenowhadadozenoftheelitewolvenguardgettinguptospeedonthewarwithLucien’scommander.
“Thisisfun,”Isaid.
“Okay,Ithinkshehasmasteredtheskill,Axil,mykneeshurt,”ArwengripedjokinglyandIreleasedmyholdoverthemall.
Onebyonetheystoodandappraisedme.
“Thiswillwork,”Raifesaidexcitedly.“Ifshecanjustgetmewithinbowrangeofthequeen,weendthis.”
LucienandMadelynnwerementallyabsent,butphysicallypresentusingtheirpowerstocontroltheweatheroutside.
“There’smoreofthem,”Madelynnsaidinaneerievoice.“Thenecros.Weshouldattacksoon,atfirstdaylight,forIfearifweletthemamass…”Hervoicetrailedoff.
Luciennoddedhisagreement,hiseyeslookingfaroffintotheroom.“It’snowornever.Wegetafewhours’sleepandthenpreparetoleave.”HemotionedtomeandAxil.
I’dalwaysbeenfascinatedbythepowerthefaeheld.Tobeabletocontrolnatureitselfwasincredible.
“Mymenarebeingbriefedonthesituation:I’llletthemknowwerideatfirstlight,”Axiltoldthem.
IpeeredoveratRaifeandwasalarmedtoseehimgrinning.
Kailaniclearedherthroat.“Darling…what’ssofunny?”
Heshookhimself,wipingthesmileoffhisface.“Ohnothing,Ijustthoughtofthequeendyingandgaspingforairandgotexcited.Idon’tthinkI’llbeabletosleep.”
Kailanipeeredatallofuswithwideeyesandreachedouttopathisshoulder.“Let’skeepcreepythoughtstoourselves,darling.”
Weallburstintolaughteratthat.Raifewasprobablytheonlyoneintheroomwhowasexcitedformorning.SEVENTEEN
I’dbarelyslept,onlyabouttwohours,butitwasenough.Afterfinishingourbreakfastwhiletheskywasstilldark,wemadeourwaytothestables.
ThemakerofthesaddlesthathadbeenusedonthedragonkingandqueenwasabletoretrofitacouplehorsesaddlesforAxilandme.We’dfinalizedtheplananditwasdecidedthatAxilwouldcarryRaifeonhisbackandIwouldcarryKailani.Meanwhile,ArwenandDraewouldtaketotheskies,watchingoverusfromaboveandMadelynnwouldstayontheground,usingherwindtoblowbackanyassaultontheWinterCastlewhereherlittlesisterandArwenandDrae’stwinswerebeingkeptsafe.
SurroundinguswouldbethearmiesofAvaliermixedwithdragon-folk,elvesandfae.Andoureliteroyalwolvenarmy.Ifthewarwentonfordays,thenthewolvenwouldarriveandbringanevenstrongershowofforce.Tenthousandstrongalltogetherwiththeothers.Thenecromereswereasurprisebutnothingwecouldn’thandletogether.Iwasfeelinggoodaboutthings.
Itwasagreatplan,nearlyaperfectplanifeverythingwentaccordingly.
IturnedtolookatAxilandaskhimsomethingwhenIsawthecolordrainfromhisface.Ifrownedashestaredfaroffintospace,seeminglylostinhisthoughts.
“Axil?”
Hisgazesnappedtomineandheswallowedhard.Wewereinthestallofabarn,abouttoshiftandhaveoursaddlesputon.Hecrossedthebarnandreachedformyfacewithshakyhands.“Mylove,oneofmyadvisorshasgivenmegravenews.”Hisvoicecrackedandsomethinginsideofmebroke.
Itwasbad.Whateveritwas,wassobad.Axilhadaconstantmentallinktohisadvisors,itwaspartofhisalphamagic.Itmeantthatnomatterthedistance,orform,theycouldcommunicate.
Bythelookonhisface,hisadvisorhadjusttoldAxilsomethingtrulyawful
“No,”Iwhimpered,notwantingtoknowwhateveritwasthathadmadeAxillookasifhe’dseendeath.
Tearsfilledhiseyesandhisbottomlipquivered.“Lastnight,QueenZaphirasentanarmyofnecromerianraiderstoFallenmoore.Shemusthavebeenwatching—”
“Axil,tellme!”Iscreamed,asobalreadyforminginmythroat.
Hereleasedashakybreathandlookedmerightintheeyes,hisownstillwellingwithtears.“CyruswaskilledandOslowastaken.”
Nothinginthisworldcouldhavepreparedmeforthosewordstocomeoutofhismouth.Mylegscollapsedbeneathmeandeverythingwentdark.
***
IcametoinAxil’sarmsafewmomentslater.Raifewasthere,somepurplelightglowingfromhispalmtomyfaceasIblinkedrapidly.
WhywasIlyingonthefloorofthebarn?PuregriefpouredthroughmeatthememoryofwhatAxilhadtoldme.
Isobbedandrolledontomysideasmywolftookover.Icouldn’tbestrong,notinmyhumanform,itwastoomuchtobear.
Cyrus.Mysweetbigbrother.Mycoach.Ahusband.Father.
No.Thiscouldn’tbehappening.
Butitwas.
Iwelcomedthepainthatthesnappingofbonesandrippingofmusclesbrought.Itfeltgoodinthismoment.Iwantedtofeelhurt,itwasbetterthanfeelinghollow.Likeahugegapingholehadopenedinmychest.
Tippingmyheadup,Iletloosewithagut-wrenchinghowl.Icouldn’thelpbutwonderifAxilhadn’tclaimedmelastnightifIwouldhavefeltCyrusdyingthroughthepacklink.Somethingstronglikethat,adeath,couldbefeltbyallpackmembers.MaybeitwasasmallmercyIdidn’t.
IexpectedAxiltotakemeintohisarms,totryandsoothmewithwordsbutinsteaditwasRaifewhokneltbeforeme,graspedthesidesofmywolf’sfacelightlyandforcedmetolookintohisgaze.
“Iknow,”hesaidcalmly,eyesglowingwithrage.“IhatethatIknowexactlyhowyoufeelbutIdo.Zaphiratookmymother,fatherandallofmysiblingsfrommeinonefellswoopandI’vewaitedyearsforthisrevenge.”
MywolfwhimperedasIheldhisstareandIfeltinthatmomentthathewastheonlyoneintheworldwhounderstoodmeandwhatIwasgoingthrough.
“Butyoudon’thavetowaityearsforyourrevenge,Zara,”hesaid.“Youcangetitnowandyoucansaveyourlittlebrotherbeforeshetakeshimtoo.”
Oslo.Atthementionofhisname,Isprangintoastandingposition,forcingRaifetoletgoofmyface.Theonlythingthatpartedthedarkcloudsofmygriefwasthethoughtofmylittlebrother.
“Ready?”Raifeasked.
Inoddedeagerly.IftheNightfallqueendidhaveOslo,shewasabouttolearnthatshe’dmessedwiththewrongwoman.
JustthenthebarndoorswerethrownopenandKailaniraninside,panting.“Iheardaboutyourlittlebrothergettingtaken.Iknowwherethequeenwouldhidehim,andhowtogetintothecastle.”
Thishadjustbecomearescuemission.
IlookedupatAxilandheappearedconflictedforamoment.Thischangedeverything,Oslowastaken–wehadtosavehimfirst.
“Let’sdoit,”Axilagreed.
Kailanirushedforward,makingquickworkofstrappingthesaddlestoourbacks.IfshegrewupinNightfallCityandknewthearealikethebackofherhand,thenIneededhertogetOsloback.Ifweweretoinfiltratethecastle,shewasourbestbet.
“Whereareyourclothesforafteryoushift?”KailaniaskedandIindicatedtothepileofclothinginthecorner.Shescoopeditup,stasheditinherbagandthenleaptontomybackwithoutfear.
IlookedoveratAxil,andhespokeintomymindusingournewlyformedpacklink.‘We’llbeabletocommunicateinwolfform.LeavethedangerousstufftomeandRaife,andyoujustworryaboutgettingOslofree.’
Idippedmyhead.‘Iwill.’
Withthat,westeppedoutofthebarnandontothesnowyground.OursmallcontingentofRoyalWolvenGuardswaswaitingforusinaVpackformation.Axilnoddedtothemashepassedandtheyfellintolinebehindus.ItriednottoallowmymindtowonderwhatIcouldhavedonedifferentlytosaveCyrus.ArwenandDraehadmadesomanyrunslastnightgettingtheRoyalGuardhere,itwasalmostlikethenecromerianshadwaiteduntiltheyweredonebeforetheyattacked.Thecalculatedruthlessnessofitmadeaflameofrageburnwithinme.
IthadbeensnowingforhoursandtherewasapermanentchillintheairwhichwastobeexpectedintheWinterportionofthefaerealm.IhadthickwolffurandtheMudFlatsoftengotsnow,soitdidn’tbotherme.Theonlythingonmymindwasmylittlebrother.I’dlostmyparents,nowCyrus,Icouldn’tlosehimtoo.
Itwasaboutanhour’ssprinttotheborder.Thefae,elvinanddragonpeopleshaddoneawonderfuljobofcomingtogethertoamassaunitedfrontagainsttheNightfallarmy.Isawfaestandingbesideelvinfolkandeveryoneworkingtogether.Itwasabeautifulthinggiventhecircumstances,andIwasproudourpeoplewereontheirwaytolendahand.
KailaniwasholdingontothesaddletightlysoIrodefastandhardwithAxilandRaiferightbesideus.Whenwereachedtheicewallattheborder,Isteeledmyself.
ThenecromeriansweresailingoverthewallonlytobeskeweredbytheelvinBowMen.
‘Howarewegoingtodothis?’IaskedAxil,suddenlyfeelingoverwhelmed.
Therewerepeopledyingleftandrightandblood-suckingnecromeriansstoodinourway.IwouldhavesaidthatflyingbyairwouldbethebestoptionbutasIlookedup,Isawtheglintofmetalwings.TheirskieswerelitteredwiththemTheNightfallqueenandhermachinesseemedtohavenoendtowhattheywerecapableof.
‘TheRoyalGuardandIwillcarveapathforyou,’AxilsaidandItrustedhimenoughtotakehimathisword.Ihadtothinkaboutmybrothernow,everythingelsewassecondary.
Holdon,Oslo,Ithought.Ifthatmadwomanhurtahaironhishead,Iwouldskinheraliveandallofherchildrentoo.Icouldnotbetrustedtoremainreasonablewheremyfamilywasconcerned.IfyouharmedthoseIlovedthenallhonorwasdeadandIwasn’tgoingtoplaybytherules.ThiswasmygamenowandIintendedtowin.Bytheendofthisday,Iwouldeitherliedeadonthegroundorthequeen’sheadwouldbestucktoaspikeinthecenterofNightfallCity.
Nothinginbetween.
Withagrowl,ItookoffrunningandAxilfollowed.Wegainedspeedandthen,asifsharingonemind,weleaptupandoverthegianticewalltogetherandlandedinthecenterofthechaosbelow.TheRoyalGuardjumpedhighoverthewallaswellandsettledatourside,fanningouttoflankus.
TheNightfallwarriorsandthenecromeriansimmediatelyturnedtheirattentiontousandIsteeledmyself.
Butnothinghappened.
TheystoodfrozenlikemarblestatuesandIknewinthatmomentthatAxilwascontrollingthem.
“Now!”Raifecried,andabarrageofarrowsraineddownfromthetrees,piercingthefrozenwarriorsinthechest.OurRoyalGuardleaptfromtheirpositionsandrippedoutthethroatsofthenecros.
ItallwashappeningsofastIcouldn’tprocessit.
“Go!”Kailanilightlykickedmewithherheels,likeyouwouldahorse,andthatgotmemoving.Iboltedfromthecrowdedspaceandthroughthewoods,towardsthecenteroftheirlandsandwhereNightfallCitycastlelaybeyond.AgreatwindrushedpastusandIassumeditwasMadelynnforaseconduntilIsawahumanmalewithshort-croppedearsrunningtowardsuswithhisarmsoutstretched.
Hehadwindpower!
Iremainedcalm,pullingonthewolvenking’spowerthatAxilhadsharedwithmeandimaginingthemanfreezingtothespot,hiskneesgoingstiff.ThenIthrewthepoweroverhim.Suddenlyhetrippedoverhisfeetandthenlayontheground,stiffasafallenlog.
Goodenough.
Ipressedon,tryingtoremainoutofsight,dartingthroughthetreesinthedirectionKailanigentlycoaxedmein.AsIwasbarrelingthroughthewoods,freezingoneortwowarriorsinourway,wesuddenlycameuponaclusterofnecromerians.TheywerestandingaroundamaptalkingbattlestrategyasIburstfromathicketandrightintotheirmidst.
Therewereoveradozenofthemandtheyleaptbackwards,startled,afewofthemhissing.IskiddedtoastopbeforethemandKailaniletacursewordfly.Ifeltthatking’spowercoursethroughmyveinsbutbeforeIcouldevenconcentratetouseit,thenecrospounced.
Theyweresofast.Iblinkedandthentheywereonus.
MyfirstfearwasKailani.IhadnoideaofherabilitiesandsoIdartedtothesidetoavoidtwoofthebloodsuckersbuttookathirdhead-on.Itleaptontomyback,rightwhereKailaniwasridingandIsteeledmyself.AfourthcameformeandItoreintoherlegwithmyjaws.Abodyflewfrommyback,landingbeforeme,andIwasrelievedtoseeitwasn’ttheelvinqueen.Adaggerlayembeddedinthechestofthenecro.
Freeze,Ithoughtandpusheditoutlikeanet.Thenecrosslowedbutdidn’tstop.
IrememberedAxil’sadvice.Itwaslessaboutthewordandmoreaboutthevisionofit.Whichwasimpossibletodowhenpanicking!Iimaginedallofthenecrossuddenlygraspingtheirheadsinhorrificpain,andonebyonetheydroppedtotheirkneesscreaming.
Igasped,feelinglikeI’ddonesomedarkthing,butagainKailaniclickedherheels.
“Go!”sheurged.
Iran,butthesickfeelingthatIwasnobetterthanAnselstuckwithme.WhydidIfeelbadforcausingpaintosomeonewhowastryingtokillme?Itwasthedominantinme.Itjustfeltwrongtocontrolsomeoneelselikethat,thoughitwasneededinthismoment.Axilwasright,itwasmoreofaburdenthanablessing.
Iwentslowerthistime,creepingthroughthewoodsandwatchingforclustersofNightfallwarriors.Icouldseethecastleloomingonthehorizonandwithrenewedstrength,Iranharder.
“Nearthewestwallthereisastormdrain,wewillcrossintothecitythatwayifwecan,”Kailanitoldme.
Itwasearlymorning.Ifearedwewouldbeseenandkilledbyanarrowbutkeptthattomyself.Besttoassessthesituationwhenwegotthere.Islowlymademywayinthatdirection,onlystoppingwhenIheardatwigsnapbehindme.
‘It’sme.’Axil’svoicecameintomymindbeforeIsawhim.HeranupalongsidemewithRaifestillfirmlyonhisback.Bothwerecoveredindirtandbloodandworesignsofbattlebutotherwiseseemedokay.
‘TheRoyalGuard?’Iaskedhim,relievedhewasn’thurt.
‘Theyarehelpingonthefrontlines.I’mgoingtogetRaifeinsideandhopefullyhecanassassinateherandbedonewiththisbeforetoomanymorepeoplehavetodie.’
Raifelookedathiswife.“Stormdrain?”
“Ifwecan,”sheresponded.
Withthatwemovedourwaythroughthewoods,keepingwatchformorewarriorsmakingtheirwaytothefrontlines.TheentirewarseemedtobeamassingalongtheborderofThorngateandArchmere.
TherewereafewsparsenecrosorNightfallsoldiershereandtherebutnothingwecouldn’thandle.WhenwefinallymadeittothewestsideofthewallthatsurroundedNightfallCity,myheartsankintomystomach.
Therewereoverfiftymenpacingalongthetop,bowsinhandastheyreadiedthemselvestodefendtheirhome.Therewasnowaywecouldgetpastallofthem.CouldAxilforcehiswilluponthatmany?Probably…butforhowlong?Andifevenonepersonraisedthealarm,thereweremoreinside,surely?Wehidbehindaclusterofbushes,allsilentandlostinourownthoughts.
Kailanisteppedoffmeandstartedtounhookmysaddle.
Ilookedather,perplexed,butsheturnedtoaddressherhusband.“Weneedadistraction.DrawthementothenorthsideofthewallsothatZaraandIcanslipinside.”
Okay,thatwassmart.Herideasweregood.
‘Icandothat.TakeRaifeincaseyouseethequeen.Justendthis,’Axilsaidformyearsonly,butIfeltanxiousattheideaofhimtakingthisriskforme,forOslo.Whatiftheykilledhim?
“Ineedyouhumantofitinthestormdrain.”Kailanilookeddownatmeandplacedthestackofclothesatmyfrontpaws.
‘Axil,whatifyougethurt?’Ipeeredathim,tryingnottoletthefearleakacrossourbond.
Helookedoveratmewithblazingblueeyes.‘WhatiftheyarehurtingOslorightnow?’
Thatstatementcausedawhimpertoforminmythroat.
‘Ican’tlivewiththat,Zara,’Axilsaid.‘Heisofyou,andthereforeheisofme.GogethimandIwilltakecareofthingsouthere.’
Ipaddedforward,outoftheheavysaddleandnuzzledhisneckwithmysnout.‘Iloveyou,’Iwhimpered.‘Now.Forever.Always.’
Westayedlikethatforamoment,RaifeandKailanigivingusourtimetosaygoodbye.Theimportanceofwhathehadsaidpresseduponmethen;Oslocouldbegettinghurtrightthismoment.WhenIfeltIhadsaidaproperfarewell,Istartedmyshift.Afterchangingquickly,IcrouchedinmyhumanformandkissedthetopofAxil’swolfhead.
ThenIstood,carefultoremainbehindthebushesandwalkeduptoRaife.Heheldmygaze,havingnoideawhatAxilandIhadsaidtoeachother.
“Axilwillcausethedistractionalone.Youcomewithusandifwefindthequeen,wefinishher.Endthiswar.”
Raifegrinnedinapprovalbutthenthesmileslippedfromhisfaceasheglancedathisoldfriend.Onemantakingonfiftywarriorswasnotafairfight.
ThesoundofcrunchingleavespulledmyattentiontotherightandIreachedformyknifebutstoppedwhenIsawtheshockofredhair.
MadelynnjumpedintoourlittlehiddenbushalcoveandgaveAxilalopsidedgrin.“Needsomehelp?I’vealwayswantedtorideonawolf.”
ReliefrushedthroughmeandIpulledherintoahug,crushinghertightlyinmyarms.
“Thankyou,”Iwhispered.Ibarelyknewthiswomanbutshewasaverypowerfulfae,andalongsideAxil,shemightjustbetheonlypersonabletohelphimfightthatmanymenandkeephimalive.
Shesqueezedmebackandnodded.
WithoutfurtherfanfaresheleaptontothesaddleatopAxil’sbackandthenlookedoveratKailani,Raifeandme.“Ihearditwasgoingtobewindytoday.”ShewinkedandthenAxiltookoff,dartingoutintotheopenasagiantwindtunnelappearedinthefieldabovethenorthernendofthegate.
“Iloveher,”Kailanisaid.
“Metoo,”Iadded.
Raifewentverystillthen,takinginadeepbreathandpullinganarrowfromhisquiver.Henockeditandthenlookedatus.“TheNightfallqueenisinsidethesewalls.Icansenseit.AndIwillnotleavewithoutthetipofthisarrowembeddedinherheart.”
Itwastimetoseekrevenge.WhenZaphiratookmylittlebrother,shehadnoideawhoshewasdealingwith.EIGHTEEN
ThecommotionthatMadelynnandAxilmadeatthenorthendofthewallallowedustoslipintothestormdrainandpopoutinsidethecityundetected.Ihadnopointedearstohide,neitherdidKailani,soitwasjustRaifewhohadtokeephislongwhitehairandsharptippedearsdisguisedunderahatwhilewewereinsidethehumancity.
Therewereshoutsofalarmalongtheuppercastlewallandtheresidentswererunningaboutquickly,closingupshopsaswarriorsmountedhorsesforwar.Wemimickedtheirfranticmovements,rushingthroughtowntowardsanindustrialarea.
“Whatistheextentofyourpowersnow?”Kailaniwhispered.“Canyoumakesomeoneunlockadoororgiveuskeys?”
PanicwashedovermeatthethoughtthatgettingmybrotherbackmighthingeonmyusingapowerthatIhadheldforagrandtotalofoneday.“Doubtful,butIcouldfreezethemuntilyoustolethekey,”Itoldherhonestly.
Shenodded.“Thatwouldwork.”
“Youthinkthequeenisexperimentingonhim?”Raifeaskedhiswifeaswejoggedtowardsthegiantbuildings.ButhiswordsmademestumbleandIhadtosteadymyselfasIfollowedthem,worriedwhatKailani’sanswerwouldbe.
“Ido.Ithinkshewantshiswolfmagic,”shestatedandthatcausedmypanictoincrease.“Orsheknowsheisthenewwolfqueen’sbrother,andwantshimasahostage.Inwhichcasehewouldbeinthedungeon.”
Okay,thatwasevenmoreterrifying.
Wekeptourheadsdownandweavedinandoutofthestreetsuntilwestoodbeforealargebrickbuildingwithgiantglasswindows.Thereweretwoguardspatrollingthefront,eachholdingaharpoonspeartypeofweaponthatglintedinthelight.
Kailanilookedtome.“Showtime.”
Isteeledmyselfasshewalkedrightthroughthegatesanduptothemen.Theygrippedtheirweapons,raisingthemslightlyassheapproachedandIconcentratedonfreezingthemfromfurthermovement.Ienvisionedthemfrozenlikestatuesandthenusedtheking’smagictothrowitoverthem.Theirlimbsceasedmoving,buttheywerealsounabletospeak.
Kailanilookedleftandrightatthepassingpeopleandreachedintooneoftheguards’waistbeltsfromwheresheproducedasetofkeys.
Slippingthemintoherpocket,shelookedbackatme.“Makethemwalktothesideofthebuildingwithus.”
Walkthem!Iwasn’tsureIcoulddothat.AlreadyIcouldfeelthemfightingme.Itwaslikesomeonepushingbackatmephysically.Holdingontothepower,Ienvisionedthemwalkingforwardandbothoftheguardslurchedonward,knockingintoKailaniandcausinghertoyelp.
Afewpeopleglancedinourdirectionandwesmilednervously.Theguardslookedliketheyhadsticksuptheirbutts,walkinginajerkyabnormalpattern.
RaiferushedtothesideofoneguardandlinkedhisarmsthroughtosteadyhimandKailanididthesamewiththeother.Thisdidnotlooknaturalandanypassersbywouldthinktheyweredrunk.
“Sorry,”Iwhisperedasweallmadeourwayawayfromthefrontofthebuildingtothesidewheretherewasnoonewatching.Wewereshadedbythestructurenowandcompletelyhiddenbythefence.
Theguards’eyeswerewideandIfeltslightlybadthatIwascontrollingthemthisway,butknowingtheycouldbeguardingabuildingmybrotherwasin,Igotoverthatguiltquickly.
Kailanilookedatmeandthencrackedoneoftheguardsovertheheadwithasmallrockshe’dbeenhidingbehindherback.Hecrumpledtothegroundandthensherepeatedtheactionwiththenextone.Raifeappraisedhiswifewithprideandthentheybothmadequickworkoftyingtheguards’handsbehindtheirbacks.
“Okay,wedon’thavemuchtime.Let’scheckinsideandifOslo’snotthere…theywillhavehiminthedungeon,”Kailanisaid.
Ifrowned.“Theraidjusthappenedlastnight:whatiftheyarestilltravelingbackonfoot?”
AxilgotthenewsjustafterithappenedandFallenmoorewasatleastaday’sjourneyonfoot—
“Theyhaveflyers.Humanswithmetalwings.I’msuretheyflewhimhereashe’sahigh-valuetarget,”shesaidandIswallowedhard,notwantingtobelievetheyalreadyhadmylittlebrotherandmightbeexperimentingonhim.
Keysinhand,Kailaniranforthesidedoorandunlockedit.SheseemedlikesheknewherwayaroundthisbuildingandIwasgrateful.RaifeandIslippedinsideafterherandInoticedwewereinanopenhallwaylinedwithcloseddoors.Theelfqueenduckedintoaroomtotherightandemergedwearingawhitecoat.
“Headdown,patient,”shetoldmeandhandedRaifetheothercoatandaclipboard.
Oh.Right.Iwouldactlikeapatientinthis…whateveritwas.Aplacetheystoleourmagic?Thethoughtgavemetheshivers,butitwasgoodthinkingifwewerecaught.
IheardafewvoicesupaheadandKailanihookedherhandundermyelbowasIheldmyarmsbehindmybackinamockcuffedfashion.Thenshemarchedusforwardwithconfidence.ThiswomanwasfullofmorecouragethanI’dgivenhercreditforwhenI’dfirstmether.I’dmistakenherkindnessasasubmissiveweakness.Iwaswrong.AndIwassogratefulshewasherewithmenowbecauseIwasfeelinganythingbutconfident.
Weenteredamainroomwheretwoothersinlabcoatsweremakinghotteaandchattingeasily.Kailaniwalkedpastthemandtheybarelyglancedinourdirection.Onlywhenweenteredanotherhallwaydidoneofthemcallafterus.
“Hey,whereareyoutakingthatpatient?”thewomanquestioned.
Kailanifroze,notlookingback.“DoyouknowwhichroomOsloSwiftwaterisin?ThelittlewolfboyfromFallenmoore?”sheaskedoverhershoulder.
Myhearthammeredinmychestatherboldquestion.
“Who?”thewomaninthelabcoatcalledout.“Wedon’thaveanywolvesrightnow.”
Thatwasareliefandalsoaworry.Wherewashe?
“Hey,whoareyou?”thewomandemandedandIspunround,throwingmymagicoverherandhermalecounterpartandfreezingthembothmidstride.
“He’snothere,”IwhinedasRaifeandKailanisubduedandtiedupthetwophysicians.
Kailanilookedworried.“Thenthereisonlyoneotherplacehewouldbe.Ihavetogetyouintothecastle.”
Shemotionedthatweheadbackthewaywecameandmyheartfell.Iwantedhimtobehere.Iwantedthistobeeasy.
Westeppedoutsidetowherethetwounconsciousguardswere.Kailanistrippeddowntoherundergarmentsandputontheguard’suniform.Raifedidaswell,tuckinghishairintoabunandshovingitdeepintohishat.
“What’syourplan,mylove?”heaskedher,strappinghisbowoverhisback
Shelookedupathim.“Wearresther,bringherinandsaywehavecapturedthewolfqueen.”
Raife’sfacefell.“Theycouldkillher.Orstriphermagic.”
Kailaniswallowed.“Iknow,butit’stheonlywayIknowhowtogetherinside.Thepalaceisheavilyguarded,wewillbeluckyifwearenotrecognizedandcaughtwhilehandingherover.”
“Doit,”Icommanded.Ididn’tcarewhathappenedtome,Ijustneededtobewithmybrother.
Raifeturnedtofaceme.“Youhavetheking’spowerrightnow.IfZaphiraputsyouinoneofhermachines,thenshewillhaveittoo.Shecouldcontroleveryone.Wecan’tletthathappen.”
Inodded.“Ifshebringsmetowardsanymachine,IwillturnmyfingerstoclawsandcutmyownthroatoutbeforeIgivehermymagic.Iswearit.”KailanilookedhorrifiedatmysuggestionbutRaifenoddedasifhewerepleasedwiththatanswer.IknewthecostofwhatIcarriedandthatitcouldneverfallintoenemyhands.Ijustprayeditwouldn’tcometothat.
“I’llfindmywayintothecastleandprotectyou,”RaifetoldmebutIknewitwasanemptypromise.NoonecouldgivemesuchanassurancebutIappreciateditnonetheless.MymindwanderedtowhatAxilandMadelynnweredoingrightnow.Hadtheyretreated?Weretheyhurt?Hadtheycomeinsidethecitywallstolookforus?Thatwouldbecrazy.Ijusthopedtheywerealive.
Kailanishookherhead.“Foralltheworkwedidtobringthekingdomtogetherinthewar,Ican’tbelieveit’suptojustthethreeofustodothis.”
Raifenodded.“Itwasalwaysgoingtobemethatkilledher.”Reachingintohispocket,hepulledoutasmallclearvialandIfrowned.
“Colorless,odorlesspoison.IhavedreamedaboutZaphirachokingonitsinceIwasfourteen.”
Wow,thatwasdark,andyetItotallyapproved.“Ifshe’sinthere,goforit.Don’tworryaboutme,”Itoldhim.“I’llgetmybrotherout.”
Kailanipulledmeinforahugandthenkissedherhusbandchastely.Weallknewthelikelihoodofussurvivingthiswasnotgreat.
“Okay,ZaragetsOsloout,Raifetriestokillthequeen,andI’llbeonhandifeitherofyoufailsothatIcanfinishthejob,”sheannounced.
Igrinnedatthat;shehadtotallygrownonme.
Withthat,Kailaniusedthehandcuffsfromherguarduniformtocuffmywristsinfrontofme.IhungmyheadforwardandsheandRaifemarchedmeoutofthefenced-inareaandovertothemainroad.Thestreetsweresparselypopulatednow;everyonehadrunintotheirhomesseeminglyduetothecommotionatthefrontgates.
Wewalkeddownafewmoreroadsandthenhungaright.Iflickedmygazeuptoseeagiantpalacewithlargecolumnsinfrontofit.Itloomedupaheadandmystomachtiedintoknots.Therewereovertwodozenguards,fullyarmed,standingbesideeachcolumn.ThewindrushedpastusandIwonderedifitwasduetoMadelynnandAxilfightingoutfront.
Bythetimewereachedthefirstguardatthepalacesteps,Iwasaballofnerves.Thiswasalotofpeopletotryandcontrolifthingswentbadly.Hesawusapproachingandbrokehisformationtomeetusbeforewecouldgetanycloser
“Areyounew?Prisonersdon’tgetheldhereunlesswearetoldtodosobythequeenherself,”themansaidtoRaife.“Youneedtogotothelock-uponSpringStreet.”
Raifereachedoutandgraspedthesidesofmyjaw,forcingmetolookupattheguard.“Areyoudumb?ThisisthequeenofFallenmoore.Wejustcapturedhertryingtoinfiltratethewestwall.”
Ibuiltupadeepwolfygrowlinmythroattoaddprooftohisclaimandthesoldierpaledashelookeddownatmycuffedhands.Reachingbehindhim,hepulledoutaseparatepairofcuffsandthenyankedmefromKailani’sgrasp.ThesecondsetofcuffsclosedaroundmyskinandIknewthemomenttheytouchedmethatsomethingwaswrong.Mywolfsuddenlyfelt…veryfaraway.
“Youdon’tusehumancuffsonamagicuser,”hehissedatbothKailaniandRaife.Withakey,heunlockedtheoldersetofcuffssothatonlytheneweronesremained.
Humancuffs.Thatmeant…theseneweronesweremadeformagicusers?
Ipulledonmywolf,justalittlebit,toseeifIcouldgethertocometothesurface.
Nothing.
Full-blownpanicroseupinsideofmeandItriedtousetheking’spower,forcingthemanbeforemetotakethemoff.
Nothing.
“No!”Iwhimperedandyankedatmywrists,lookingupatKailaniwithalarm
Icouldseeherfearjustbelowthesurfacebutshewashidingit,playingherpart.
“Mybad.Shouldwedropheroffwiththeleadguardinthedungeon?”Kailaniasked.
ThemanbeforeushadshortcroppedblondhairandhelookedKailaniupanddown.“Canyouhandlethat?”hequestionedher,sinceclearlyshe’dmessedupmycuffs.
InoneswiftmoveKailanikickedmykneeoutandIfelltothegroundwithashout.RaifethenhookedundermyarmpitonmyleftsideandKailanionmyrightsothattheyweredraggingme.“Icanhandleit.”Sheblewtheguardakissandhegrinned.
Iletmylegsgolimp,draggingbehindmeasRaifeandKailanipulledmeacrossthefrontcastlesteps.
WepassedovertwodozenguardsandIprayednoonewouldrecognizetheelfking’smagnificentgoldenbowstrappedtohisback.Otherguardshadbowsbuttheywereblackwithchunkysteel.
Itfeltlikeittookusforevertoreachthefrontdoorsofthecastleandwalkinside.Whenwesteppedintotheopenentrywayitwasevenbusierthanoutside.Warriorsrushedaboutshoutingdirectionsandaskingforhelpatthefrontwall.
MadelynnandAxilweregivingthemHades.
Itmademegrin.
Kailaniherdedusdownahallwayandthenwewerealone,suddenlydescendingastonestaircase.
“I’msosorry,Zara,didIhurtyourknee?Ipanicked,”KailaniwhisperedasshehelpedmestandproperlysoIcouldwalk.
Ishookmyhead.“Youdidgreat.I’mnothurtandifIwas,Ihealfastsodon’tworryaboutit.”Itwastrue,she’dgottenusallinsidewhichwasamiracle.
“Wastheflirtingnecessary?”RaifeaskedandIsensedhisjealousy,whichcausedmetosmileslightly.
“Yes,Ithinkitwas.Igotusinside,didn’tI?”shesnappedback.
Wereachedthebottomstepsandthedampsmellofamustydungeonreachedmynostrils.Plusoneotherthing.
Oslo.
Hisscentwasfaint,butitwashere.
“Mybrother,”Iwhimpered.
Kailanigraspedmyupperarmtightlyandthenlookedatherhusband.“Getyourrevenge,mylove.I’llhelpZaraandmeetyououtsidethewall.”
Raifelookedshockedthen,likehehadn’tactuallybelievedthisdaywouldcome.Hewashere,insidetheprivatecastleoftheNightfallqueenherself.
Henodded,leaningintokissher.“Iloveyou,”hewhisperedandthenhedisappearedbackupthesteps.
Kailanistoodstill,yankingonmycuffsandgruntingindesperation.“Idon’treallyknowwhattheseareorhowtheywork.Ican’tgetthemoff,”shesaid.
“Idon’tcare.Takemetomybrother.He’sscared,Icansmellit,”Iurgedher.
Withthatwewalkedintotheopenhallwayandthenintoalargerroomsurroundedbycellsinacircularshape.
Atfirstglance,theyallappearedfull.Whenmygazelandedonmybrother,headhunglowashehuggedhisknees,Iscreamed.
“Oslo!”IranforhimbutKailanihauledmebackwards,hard.Thetwoguardswhostoodinthecenterofthecircularroomlookedupthen.
“Who’sthis?”oneofthemasked,pullinghisknifefromhisbelt.
“ZaraSwiftwater,wolvenqueen.”Kailanitoldthemwithpride.
Hesteppedovertomeandlookeddownatmywrists,seeminglytocheckmycuffs.ThenheglancedoveratOslo’scell.“Isthatfellawhojustcameinherson?”
Kailanishrugged.“HowshouldIknow?Ijustfoundherbreechingthewall.Queenwantsherlockedupdownhere,Iassume.”
Myson.DidIlookthatold?
“Youassumedcorrect.”ApowerfulfemalevoiceenteredtheroomandKailaniwentpale,likeshe’dseenaghost.
IfeltmyowninnerfearrampupanotchastheNightfallqueenherselfwalkedintotheroom.Ididn’tneedtoknowwhatshelookedliketoknowwhoshewas.Sheoozedpower.Coveredheadtotoeinredleather,shewalkedlikeanalpha,chintippedhighassheheldourgaze.
“Cuffher.She’snotaguardandshe’sverypowerful,”thequeenorderedtheguardasshewatchedKailani.
Theguardscrambledtogetthecuffsoffhisbeltandthat’swhenKailaniwentberserk.Sherushedtowardsthequeen,puckeringherlipsandsuckingtheairfromtheroom.Ididn’tunderstandwhatwashappening,maybethiswasherpower?ButeitherwayIwasgoingtorushthequeenwithher.Bothofuscoulddefinitelytakehertotheground.Evenasahumanwithmyhandstiedbehindmyback,Iwasstillapowerfulfighter.
OnesecondIwasturninginZaphira’sdirectionandthenextafunnelofwindpickedmeupandthrewmeagainstthefarwall.OsloscreamedasIcrackedmyheadonthestone,slinkingtothegroundinconfusion.
Thequeenheldherhandsout,awindfunnelfillingtheroomasshelaughedmadly.Shehadfaepower?Kailaniwasonthefloorbesidemeandtheguardwasaffixingthecuffstoherhands.ItallhappenedsofastIbarelyunderstoodwhatZaphirahadjustdone.Shehadthrownawindbombatus.
TheNightfallqueensmiled.“YouknowIrealizeditwasn’tthatIwantedtoexpungetherealmofallmagicusers,”shesaidandthenitstartedtosnowinsidetheroom.ShewasdisplayinghervarietyofpowersandIfeltsickknowingshe’dstolenthisfromgoodpeople.“Ijustwantedtobeone,”sheaddedandthenablindingflashoflightpulsedintheroom,causingmyeyestosquintshut.
FootstepsnearedandthenIsmelledherrightbesidemebutmyvisionwasblack.She’dblindedme,hopefullytemporarily.“ButthereisonegiftIhavebeenwaitingtoacquire,”shewhisperedinmyearthenstrokedmycheek,pressingherwarmfingersagainstthesideofmyface.“Apowerfulalphawolf.”
IsnappedmyheadtotherightandtookinasmanyfingersasIcouldintomymouth,thenIbitdown.
Hard.
Warmcopperybloodgushedovermytongueasmycaninesseveredoneofherfingersandthenthequeen’sblood-curdlingscreamrangthroughouttheroom.
Ispatthefingerontotheground,laughingmanicallyinthehopesthatshewouldfearIwasmentallyunstable.Cyruswouldapprove.
“Myfinger!”shebellowedinagutturalscream.“Getmeahealer.”
Shapesstartedtodancebeforemyeyesasmyvisionslowlyreturned,andIpreparedmyselfforherretaliation.SomedarkshapesailedtowardsmeandbeforeIcoulddecipherwhatitwas,therewasacracktothesideofmyheadandonceagain,blacknessovertookme.NINETEEN
“Zara.”Oslo’ssweetvoicepulledmefrommyunconsciousstateandIopenedmyeyes,blinkingrapidly.Myvisionhadreturnedbutadeepheadachethrobbedatthebaseofmyskull.
Mylittlebrotherpeereddownatmeinfear.“There’sbloodcomingoutofyourhead.”
Kailaniswamintoviewthen,lookingworseforwear.Herhairwasmessedup,likesomeonehadtriedtoripitout,andherlipwassplit.
SheprobedthebackofmyskullwithherfingersandIhissed.“It’sstoppedbleeding,”shetoldOslo.“She’llbeokay.Yourkindnaturallyheal.Noneedforhealersmostofthetime.”
Henodded,seemingmoreassured.
Thenshelookeddownatme,grinninglikeafool.
Ipeeredaroundustotakeinoursurroundings.Maybetherewasareasonforhergleefulness.Nope.Wewerelockedupinsideacell.Peoplefromtheotherneighboringcellsstaredoveratuswithcuriosity.
“Whatcouldyoupossiblybehappyabout?”Iaskedher.
Shetriedtocontrolhersmilebutwhenshepulleditbackdown,itjustpoppedrightbackup.“Youbitherfingeroff!”shefinallyblurtedandthenburstintolaughter.“Areyouinsane?Imeanitwasamazing.Youshouldhaveseenher.‘Myfinger!Myfinger!Findit!’”KailanimimickedandnowIwasgrinningtoo.
IlookedoveratOsloandhetoohadaslightlifttohislips.
“Yougothergood,”hesaid.
Isatupslowly,assessingthedamage.Otherthantheheadinjury,everythingelseseemedtobeinworkingorder.
“But,Zara,youmadehermad.Shecouldhavekilledyou,”Osloadded.
Ishookmyhead.“Sheshowedherhand.Shewantsmypower.Shewon’tkillmeuntilshehasthat.”
Kailaninodded.“Yoursisterisright.Shewantsbothofourpowers:shewon’tkillus.”
“Zara,”Oslo’svoicecracked.“Ihavetotellyousomething.”
Icouldn’tdothisrightnow.Notwithhim.“Iknow,”Isaidandreachedouttosmoothhishair.“Andwecan’tthinkaboutitrightnowbecausewehavetostaystrong,okay?Cyruswouldwantthat.”
Oslo’seyesfilledwithtearsatthementionofourbigbrother’snamebuthenodded.Iwouldfalltopieceslater,bothOsloandIwould,andAxilwouldhelpputustogether,butrightnowIcouldn’tthinkaboutanythingbutgettingmybrothertosafety.
“Psst,”someonefromthecellnexttoourspulledourattention.
Ilookeduptoseealithe-lookingfemalefaewithlongblondehair,pointedearsanddirt-crustednails.Sheseemedlikeshe’dbeenhereforawhile.
ShemotionedthatIcomecloserandsoIstood,waitingasecondforthedizzinesstoabateandthenapproachedher.
Kailanisteppedovertoheraswellandwhenwewereonlyafewinchesfromherfaceshepointedtothemetalbarsbetweenus.“Whentheyfirstpulledmeandmylittlesisterinhere,theydidn’thaveanymoreofthemagicsuppressioncuffslikeyouhaveon.”Sheindicatedtoourhandsthatwereboundinfrontofus.
Inoddedbutwaswonderingwhereshewasgoingwiththis.Shelookedaroundatthecenteroftheroomwheretwoguardswerechattinghappilyandnotpayingattentiontous.
“Iwasabletousemydragon-folkfiremagicandwinterfaeicemagictosnaponeofthebarsoffhere.”ShepointedbetweenusandIlookeddownasshepulledthebarawaytorevealadecent-sizedgap.Shethenquicklyreplaceditincaseaguardwaslooking.NowthatIpeeredcloseritwassimplywedgedbetweenthetopandbottomsupportsbutnotattached.
“AndIdidanotheratthewindow.”Shetippedherheadtotheopeningattheupperendofhercell,hercuffedhandshanginginfrontofher.“Mylittlesisteristhesamesizeasyourbrother.Shegotfreeandtheyhaven’tnoticed.”
MybreathhitchedasIrealizedwhatshewassaying.Thegapwasn’tlargeenoughforafull-grownmanorwoman,butasmallchildcouldfitthroughwithsomehelp.
“You’rehalfdragon,halffae?”Kailaniaskedher.
Thewomannoddedandthatexplainedit.Fireandice.Fireandiceenoughtimesthroughoutthenightanditwouldsnapmetalliketheblacksmithsdid.
“Thankyou.”AlumpformedinmythroatasIwasovercomewithemotion.
“Yoursisterwasinthiscell?”Kailaniasked.
Thewomanbobbedherhead.“WediditatnightwhentheguardwasasleepbutIfearyoudon’thavethatlongiftheNightfallqueenwantsyourmagic.Theywilltorturehimtogetyoutoagree.”
Shewasright.Andverysmart.
“Whatdoyousuggest?”Iaskedher.She’dclearlybeenherelongerthanmeandwasquick-thinking.
Sheeyedthecellbehindher.“I’llaskthepeoplelockedupacrosstheroomtocreateadiversionintenminutes’time.Theguardswillrushtothatside,andthenyourbrothermakeshismove.”
Inodded,reachingforherfingersthroughthebarsandgraspingthem.Shehadnoideawhatagiftthiswas.TonothavetoworryaboutOslobeingtorturedifIdidn’tcomplywithwhateverthequeenwouldwant.
“Thankyou,”Isaidagain.
Shegavemeaweaksmile.“Weneedtosticktogether.”
Withthatsheturnedawayfrommeandwentacrosshercelltospeaktothefaemanneighboringher.Shewhisperedsomethingtohimandhenodded,walkingacrossthelengthofhiscellandpassingamessagetothenextperson.Icouldseenowthatthismessagewouldgetallthewaytotheothersideoftheroomandintenminutes’time,wewouldhaveourdistraction.
NowIneededtopreparemysoft-heartedlittlebrothertobreakoutofhereandfindhiswaytosafety.Alone
WalkingovertoOslo,Iwatchedhimasheglancedatmewithfear-filledeyes.Iwasalwayssoeasyonhim,coddlinghimandsnugglinghim.Icouldn’tdothatanymore,Ineededhimtobestrongforthis.
Placingmycuffedhandsononesideofhisshoulder,ImethiseyesandIsawsomuchofourbeautifulmotherinthem.
Ikeptmyvoicelow.“Intenminutes,therewillbeadistractionacrosstheroomthatwilltakeuptheguards’attention.Thenwewillopenaspacesmallenoughbetweenthebarsforyoutowiggleoutofourcellandintothenext—”HestartedtoprotestbutIshuthimdownwithaglare.“Thenournewfriendwillhoistyouuptoherwindowwhereanotherbarwillberemovedandyouwillslipoutofthewindowandintotheoutside.Fromthereyouwillruntothestormdrainattheeastwall.It’sametalcapinthegroundnearthecommunitygarden.Goinside,itgoesunderthewallandexitsthecity.”
“You’recomingright?”heaskedwithsomuchinnocenceittoreatmyheart
Ishookmyhead.“I’mtoobig.Butyou’retwelvenow.Youneedtostarttougheningup.”
HisbottomlipquiveredandIwantedtopullhimtomychestandholdhimbutIkeptusanarm’slengthapart.“Whenyougetoutofthestormdrainontheothersideofthegates,Iwantyoutoshiftintowolfform.Avoidthebigareasoffighting.Makeyourwaysouth-westtoThorngatebutgofartherifyouhavetoinordertoavoidthewar,youcanalwayscircleback.Tellthefaekingyouaremybrotherandhewillprotectyou.”
Hischestheavedasheheldmygazeanditwasthefirsttimehe’dstaredatmeforsolong.ItwastheoneglimmerofhopeIhadthathemightbestrongenoughtoendurethis.
“You’reasmallwolf,youcanhideinbushesand—”myvoicebrokeasIswallowedasob.I’djustrememberedthatCyruswasdeadandthiswastheonlyfamilyIhadleftotherthanAxilandourunbornchild.
Ishookhimalittle.“Iloveyoutoodamnmuch,Oz!Youhavetobestrongformeanddothis,okay?”
Hegrowledthen.Alowandfirmgrowlofdominance.“Icandothis,”heassuredmeandthenIdidpullhimtomychest.IcrushedthatkidagainstmeandbreathedhiminasifitwerethelasttimeImighteverseehim.Becauseitmightbe.
“You’regonnagetouttoothough,right?Eventually?”hemumbledagainstmyear.
Ipulledbackandgavehimaknowinglook.“Thisismewe’retalkingabout,”Isaidconfidently,thoughIfeltanythingbut.Inoticedhewasn’twearingcuffs.Theyprobablyweren’tworriedaboutascrawnykidshiftingintoawolfandharminganyone.ButIwascuffed,andthatmeantIwasaboutasuselessasahuman.ButIwouldn’ttellhimthat.
Acommotionstartedatthefarendoftheroom,shoutingandfighting,andtheguardsimmediatelymovedthatway.
Thiswasit.
“Iloveyou,Oslo.You’resuchagoodkid.Momanddadwouldbesoproud.”Itriedtostaystrongbuttearsleakeddownmycheeks.
“Iloveyoutoo,Zar,”hesaidandwipedathisowncheeks.
Damn.IprayedtotheMakerthen,whichIhardlydid,andaskedthatmylittlebrotherbeprotected.
“Psst,”thewomancalledtousandIknewwewereonlimitedtime.Kailanipositionedherbodytofacetheskirmishatthefarendoftheroombutagainstthebarssothatshecouldblockwhatwewereabouttodo.Thefae-dragonhybridwomanremovedthebareasilyandOslolookedatmeonelasttime.Igavehimanencouragingsmileandheturnedhisbodysideways,slippingthroughthebars.Hegothalfwaywhenhiseargotstuckandhehissed.Igavehimahardshoveandhepoppedoutintotheothercell.ThebarwasreplacedquicklyandthenthewomanshuffledhimacrosstheroomandIspuntowatchtheguardsbreakupthefight,bothoftheirattentionfullyengaged.
MyhearthammeredinmychestasIpeeredbacktoseethewomanhadalreadyboostedmybrotheruptothewindowandhepulledthemiddlebaroff,shimmyinghisarmsthroughtotheotherside.AllIcoulddowaspraythattherewasnooneoutpatrollingontheothersideofthatwall.Wewerehalfwaysubmergedundergroundsowhenhedidgetout,ifhecouldstaylow,hemightbeabletogetawayunseen.He’dlookhumantoanypasserbyinNightfallCitysoIjusthadtohopeforthebestortheworrywoulddrivemeinsane.
Isteeledmyselfasoneoftheguardsleftthecellinwhichthefighthadbeenbrokenupandmadehiswaytothecenteroftheroom.
Glancingovermyshoulder,Inoticedthatthewomanwasstillhalfwaythroughshovingmybrotheroutthewindow.Itwasanextremelytightfitandhewashavingtocrawlonhiselbowstopullhimselfthrough.
Iscrambledforideasonhowtogettheguardtolookawaybutmymindwasdrawingablank.AnythingIdidwouldjustdrawhisattentioninthisdirection.
“Hey!”amaleinoneofthecellstotheleftsideoftheroomshouted.Theguardturnedinhisdirectionandthenthemanpulledhistrousersdownandflashedhisbackside,pressingitagainstthebars.“Kissmyarse,youbloodsuckersell-outs!”hecried.
Theguardpulledoutabatonandranforward,rappingithardagainstthebarsandthemanfellforwardlaughing.
“That’senough!”theguardyelled.“Oryou’llallbeputdown!”
Ilookedbackatthewindowjustintimetoseethewomanreplacethebarwithshakingcuffedhandsandthenfaceforwardasifnothinghappened.IcouldjustseeOslo’sfeetastheygrewsmallerinthedistanceandheranaway.
TearsbuiltupinmyeyesbutIforcedthemdown.
Hewassafe.Nowitwastimetofight.
Iwalkedclosertothebarsandpressedmyfaceagainstthem,lookingatthemanwhohadhelpeddistracttheguard.
IgavehimanodwhichIhopedconveyedmygratitude.Henoddedbackinsolidarity.
Kailanistoodnexttomethen,layingherheadonmyshoulder.Itwastheequivalentofahug.Orthebestyoucoulddoforahugwhenyouwerebothhandcuffed.
“Doyouhavefamily?”Iaskedher.
“Justmyaunt.Nosiblings.Parentsaredead,”sherepliedmatter-of-factly
“Minetoo.He…was,isallIhave,”Itoldher.
Shenudgedmeandforcedmetofaceher.Therewasacalmnessinhergazethatbroughtmepeace.
“We’regoingtogetoutofthisandthenyou,Madelynn,ArwenandIaregoingtogoonayearlywomen’sretreat.Likethemendidwhentheywereyounger,”shedeclared.
Igrinned.“Ohyeah?”
Shenodded.“ThereisanelvinspaIknowofthatgivesgreatmassagesandtheyhavemudbathsandalltheconfectionsyoucouldhopetoeat.”
“Whatwillthemendowithoutus?”Iinquired,playingintoherfantasybecauseitwastakingmymindoffthings.
“Watchthechildrenandtendtothekitchenofcourse,”sherepliedwhichcausedmetobarkoutintolaughter.
Myfacefellprettyquicklythough.“Howdidwegethere?War.Itseemsso…wrong.”
Shelookedattheguards.“Hatred.Division.Ifpeoplefocusedonwhattheyhadincommon,orhowtheycouldhelponeanother,ratherthanhowtheyweredifferent,itwouldsolvealotofproblems.”
Wellsaid.
“Kailani?”
Shelookedatmeseriously.
“Zaphirakilledmybigbrother.Shekidnappedmylittlebrother.Ican’tletherlive.Imayhavetolosemylifeinordertokillher,sopleasetellAxilI’msorry.”
Herfacefellatthatandshelookedatmystomachwhereachildgrewinsideofme.Ididn’twanttothinkaboutthatrightnow.Ijustwantedrevenge.Itwasasteadybangingwardruminmychest,athirstthatcouldnotbequencheduntilZaphira’sheadwasseveredfromherbody.
Kailaninodded.“Youwillhaveasmallwindowoftimeiftheyputyouinthemachinethatstealsyourmagic.Theytakeoffyourcuffs.Onlythencanyouuseyourpowertotryandovertakethem.”
Idippedmychininunderstanding.“Thankyou.”
Wefellsilentthen,sittingagainstthebarsandwaitingforthenextmove.Eventuallysomeonewouldcometakeoneorbothofus.Andafterseveralhours,theydid.MyheadhadfullyhealedbythetimetheguardcameforKailaniandme.
“Whereareyoutakingus?”Kailaniaskedaswewerehauledoutofthecell.
“Shutup,”theguardtoldherandthenpeeredintothecell,blinkingrapidly.“Whereisthekid?”
“DoyouwantmetoanswerorshouldIshutup?”Kailanisaid.
Hereachedupandsmackedherhardacrossthefaceandherlipsplitbackopen.
“Theyalreadytookhim!”Iscreamedathim.
Heglaredatme.“Where?Who?”
Kailaniwasholdinghercheek.“Howshouldweknow?Wedon’tworkhere.Aguardtookhimtothelab.”
Hegrowledandpointedthesharptipofaknifeatmythroat.“Walkanddon’tgetanyideasorIstartstabbing.”
Ididasheasked,feelinglikeitwasagoodsignthatmybrotherhadn’tbeenbroughtbackdowntothedungeonsincehe’dleft.
Washefree?Alreadyoutsidethegates?WasAxilokay?Ifeltforourbond,hiddenamongallofmyanxietyformybrother,andcouldsensethathewasstillalive.Iwouldknowifmymatewasdead,right?
Weweremarchedupthestairsanddownahallwaytoalargediningroom.Outsidetheroom,twomoreguardswerestationed.OneofthembrokeawayandsteppedupbesideKailani.“They’reready,”hesaidtotheguardthatheldus.
They?
ThedoorsopenedandIsteeledmyselfasItookinthespacebeforeus.TheNightfallqueensatattheheadofalargetablewitharegal-lookingbloodsuckernexttoher.Ididn’tknowanythingaboutnecromerianroyaltybutthismanreekedofpowerandinfluence.Hisblackhigh-collaredjacketframedhispalefaceandhestaredatmewithagazeIdidn’tlike.Onethatwashungry,likeahalf-starvedanimal.
Theybothwatchedusasweenteredandthequeengavemeasnarl.Iglancedatherbandagedhandandgrinned.
“Youcanhaveherwolfpower,Regis,butIwanttheelfqueen,”shetoldhim.
Regislookedatmeandsquinted.“She’sthewifeofAxilMoon?”heaskedandmystomachtightened.Theyknewhisname.
“Ibelievetheycallthemmates,butyes,”Zaphirareplied.
Wewereledtothetablewheretwoplaceshadbeensetacrossfromthequeenandhercompanion.KailaniandIsharedalook.
Whatwasthegameplanhere?Feedusdinnerandthenstealourmagic?Why?Toplaywithus?
JustwhenIwasbeginningtowonderifweweremeanttotakeaseatornot,theguardpushedmedownintooneofthechairs.IwasseatedacrossfromthemanZaphirahadcalledRegis,whoIwasgoingtoassumewasthenecros’king.
“Whatwillyoubehavingfordinner?Bloodwithasideofblood?”Iaskedhimsarcastically.
Hesharedalookwiththequeenandshenodded.“See.Shehasatemper:thosemakeforthebestmagicelixirs.”
Iswallowedhardatthat.IfKailaniwasright,I’dhaveonlysecondsfromwhentheytookoffmycuffstowhentheyplacedmeinthemachine.AndifIcouldn’tfightback,IrememberedmypromisetoRaifeandIwouldnotfalter.TherewasnowayIwasgivingherthispower.I’dcarvemyownheartoutbeforethathappened.
Awaiterbroughtoutthreeplatesoffood,settingthembeforethequeen,Kailaniandme.Thenhesetaglassofdarkredfluidinfrontoftheking.
Regislookedatthewaiterindisgust.“Ipreferitstraightfromthesource.”Thenheturnedtothequeen.“MayI?”heasked,hiseyesonme.
ZaphiranoddedandIstiffened.“Oh,pleasedo.”
Kailanisquirmedinherseatbesideme.“Won’tthataffectthepowertransfer?”sheaskednervouslyandIcouldtellshewasstallingfortime.
“No,”thequeensaidandthenbeforeIcouldeventrackhismovements,thekingwasbesideme,myfaceinhishands.Imovedtofightbackandthenhismouthwasonmyneck.Asmallpinchbitatmyskinandthenawaveofnausearolledovermeashesucked.
“Stopthis!”Kailanishouted,jerkingbesideme,buttheguardheldherfirmlyinplace.Theslurpingsoundsatmyneckweremakingmewanttovomitbutnotasmuchastheslightbuzzofpleasurethathummedjustundermyskin.HehadsomekindofmagicspellovermethatwasmakingmethinkIlikedit.WithonejerkofmyheadIcrackedmyskullintohisandhepulledawayfrommelaughing.
Themomenthismouthreleasedmyneck,thepleasurefadedandwasreplacedbyadullthrob.
Zaphiratookabiteofhermeat,grinning.“Doesshetastegood?”
Regisstood.“Oh,youhavenoidea.Andnotjustthat,sheislinkedtohermate.Icouldfeelhim,farawaybutthere.”
Ifroze,swallowinghard.Hefeltthepackbonds?IcalmedmyselfandsearchedforAxil.Icouldfeelhimaliveandanxiousbutthere.Hadthenecrokingfeltthattoo?Thatwasn’tright,butthenIhadnoideawhatkindofpowernecrosheld.
Regiswalkedovertothequeen’splateoffoodandgraspedhermeatknife.“Iwonder…DoyouthinkhermatecanfeelitifIhurther?”
KailaniandIbothbuckedinourseatsatthatbuttheguardskeptusfirmlyinplace.MyheartcrashedwildlyinmychestbutIwashelplesstostophim.
Thequeennoddedandthenheldoutherbandagedhand,showcasinghermissingfingerwhichwasnowabloodystumphiddenunderwhitegauze.“Irequirerevenge,mylove.”
Mylove?
Onesecondhestoodbesideherandthennextmyhandwasbeingpulledoutontothedinnertable,fingerssplayedout.
“No!”Kailaniscreamed,thrashingherbackagainstherchair.
ThenecromeriankingheldthebladetomypinkyfingerandIwenteerilystill,resigningmyselftomyfate.Cyrustaughtmethatwoundshurtmorewhenyouresistedthem.
Controlwheretheyhurtyou.
Icurledmyotherfingersintoaballandwillinglygavehimmypinky,lookingatKailanitoletherknowitwasokay.Tearsstreameddownherfaceandthen…thedininghalldoorsburstopenandayoungmanstumbledin,graspinghisthroat.Hisfacewaspurple,andwhitefoambubbledathislips.RegisandZaphirabothfroze.
“Whoisthat?”Regisasked,perplexed.
Zaphira’sforkclatteredontotheplateandherhandshook.“Myfoodtaster.”
Shesmackedherlipstogetherandthenreacheduptograbherthroatinanticipation.StaringatKailani,sheleaptintoastandingposition.“Youcansaveme!Regis,shecansaveme!”
Thequeenwascoughingnow,clearingherthroatuncontrollably.Shestumbledforward,fallingontothetableasshegaspedforbreathandrolledontoherback,lookingupattheceiling.
ThenecromeriankingwentfrombeingabouttocutmyfingerofftozoomingovertoKailaniandpressingthebladetoherthroat.Hewassofastitwasunnerving.Aworthyadversaryhadthisbeenafairfight.
“Saveher,”hecommandedandthenlookedattheguards.“Uncuffher!”
Thequeen’slipswerepurplenow,whitespittleformingonthemassheraspedforbreath.
Kailanistood,lookeddownatZaphiraandsmiled.“Iwouldratherdiethansaveher.Sokillmenowandbedonewithit.”
Purepridefloodedthroughmeatthat.Kailaniwasanalpha:shehadnofearofdeath.
Regissnarled,movingtodojustthatwhenIburstfromwhereIsat,crackingtheguardbehindmeoverthehead.AsIdidso,thewhistleofarrowstorethroughtheroomandthenthesickeningthunksofthetipsembeddingintoflesh.
Iblinkedandthenbackedupasthenecromeriankingfellbackwards,threearrowsinhischestandoneinthesideofhishead.
Twomorethudsandtheneachguardwentdown,anarrowrightineachoftheirhearts.
ThecurtainsmovedatthefarwallandthenRaifestoodbeforeus,bowdrawn.
“Youokay,ladies?”heaskedus,butkepthiseyesonthegaspingqueen.Shewasbarelybreathing,herbodytwitchingandseizingbeforeusassheclawedatherpurpleface.
WebothnoddedandIreacheddownandgrabbedatinyornatekeytheguardhadhangingfromhiswaistbelt.IusedittofreeKailaniandthenshewasabletounlockmine.
Leaningforward,Raifeheldthetipofhisarrowtothequeen’sthroat.Shehadacquiredallthesepowersandyetwastooweaktouseevenoneagainsthim.
“Thisisformyfamily,”hesaidandwatchedasshetwitchedandgaspedforbreath,sufferinggreatly.
Hereyesbulgedwider.
“Andmybrother,”Iadded.
Kailanigotclosetoher,leaningintoherear.“Andeveryotherpersonharmedbyyourexistence.”
Onelasttwitchandthenshewentstill,lipscrustedwhite,facepurpleandeyesbulging.ItwasahorrificsightandyetIdidn’tfeelsatisfied.Graspingthesteakknife,Irammeditintoherchest,rightwhereherheartwas.“Justincase,”Itoldtheroom.
Raifedroppedhisarrowtiptothegroundandfellbackagainstthewall.Hesighed,lookingrelieved.Foryearshe’dchasedthatrevenge.Ihadnoideawhatithaddonetohimbutitwouldhaveeatenmealive.KnowingIwouldgohometoCyrus’deadbodykilledmebutthisbroughtmeatleastsomemeasureofcomfort.
“Nottoruinthemomentbutintimesofwar,ifwetakeherheadtoherleadgeneral,hehastocallaceasefire.Peopleareprobablydyingonthefrontlinesso…”Kailaniglancedatherhusband.
Raifenodded,pullingtheswordfromhishipandKailanilookedawayashetookthequeen’sheadcleanoff.Knottinghisfingersintoherhair,heexitedthedininghallwithmeandhiswifebesidehim.NowthatIwasnolongercuffed,IpulledthepowerIhadborrowedfromAxiltothesurface.
Ifanyonetriedanything,Iwouldmakethemkneel.
Raisingherheadintotheair,RaifegaveabattlecryandwalkedoutthefrontdoorsoftheNightfallcastle.
Thewarriorsperchedonthefrontstepslookedupathimstartledandwhentheysawtheheadoftheirleadertheygaspedinshock.
Theypulledouttheirweapons,butIusedmypowertoblanketthemwithacommandtofreeze.
“Thewarisover!”Kailanibellowed.“Yourqueenisdeadandassuchyoumustsurrenderandopenthegates!”
Irelaxedmypoweroverthetwodozenmenandoneofthemsteppedforwardandturnedtoanotherandnodded.“GetGeneralIbsen.”
Theguardtookoffandthenwewaitedasanotherguardrantothefrontgates.Everyoneseemedconfusedastowhattheyshoulddo.Theirleaderwasdead,Ihadthepowertocontrolthem,andthewarbetweenourpeopleswasover.
AmomentlaterthefrontgatesofNightfallCityopenedanddozensofwolvesraninside.IgrinnedwhenInoticedtheRoyalWolvenGuardwithLucienleadingthem.Itlookedliketheyhadbeenabletowinonthefrontlinesthenmaketheirapproachallthewaytothecastle.Peoplebackedupinfearandguardsdroppedtheirweapons.Iscannedthepeoplefloodingintothecity.AmongthemwasMadelynn,and—
ThemomentIsawAxilinhumanform,withmylittlebrotherholdinghishandandwalkingnexttohim,Istartedrunning.
“Axil!Oslo!”Icalledtothem,myfeetpoundingthegroundasIclosedthedistancebetweenus.MylittlebrotherbrokeawayfromAxilfirstandrantogreetme,crashingintomewithabighug.Hewascoveredindirtandtwigsbutotherwiseseemedunharmed.Axilwasnext.PullingmeintohisarmswithOslosquashedbetweenus,hecapturedmymouthinakissandthenplacedhishandonmybelly.“You’reokay?”heasked.
Inodded.
Iwasnow.Thequeenwasdeadandmylittlesurvivingfamilywassafeandsecure.TWENTY
Itwasabitchaoticoverthenexthour.I’dsentOslobacktoLucien’scastlewithsometrustedguardstoremainwithArwen’stwinsuntilthiswasover.SoldierswatchedwearilyasthekingsandqueensofAvalieramassedinthefrontoftheircastlesteps.Theyweredisarmedbyourwolvesandaskedtowaitofftotheside.Theirqueen’sheadwasdisplayedonaspikeinthecenteroftownforalltosee.Thewarwasover,andwewouldnottolerateanyuprising.ArwenandDraehadjustarrivedandnowwewereallassembled.
GeneralIbsenhadsurrenderedandlefttofetchQueenZaphira’seldestheir.Apparently,shekeptthemspreadapartwithinherrealm.
We’dblownthehornofsurrenderandthefightingatthebordershadceasedaswell.
WereleasedtheprisonersfromthedungeonandeveryNightfallcitizenwastoldtowaitintheirhomes.AcurfewwasineffectandwewantedasfewpeopleonthestreetsaspossibleincasetherewasaskirmishwiththenewNightfallking.
WewereabouttotellZaphira’ssonthatwe’dkilledhismotherandthewarwithourpeoplewasover.Ifhedidn’tpledgeanalliancewithus,we’dkillhimtoo.ShehadsixmorelivingsonsifI’dheardDraeright.Sowe’dkilleachoneuntiloneofthemsignedapeacetreatywithourkindandstoppedthefighting.
Themomentstickedbyandthenfinallytwomenrodethroughtheopengates,eachatopahorse.
OnewasGeneralIbsenandtheotherwasamanwhomIassumedtobethenewkingofNightfall.Asheneared,Itookhimin.Hesattallandwasmuscular.Morethantheelves,lessthanthewolven.Hisdarkwavyhairfellinastylishquifftohissharpchinandhiseyesweredarkhazel.Iwaspleasedtoseethattheyheldakindnessthathismother’shadlacked.Itwashardtodenyhowhandsomehewas.
Hesteppeddownoffhishorseandstoodbeforealleightofus.HeworemetallicbattlearmorwiththeNightfallcrest;itwascleanandlookedunused.Itwasclearhehadn’tbeenonthebattlefieldlatelyandwasprobablyonlywearingitasaformality.Heglancedonceathismother’sheadonthespikebutIsawnoemotionthere.Eitherhewasgoodathidingit,orhesimplydidn’tcarethatshe’ddied.
Bowinghisheaddeeplywithrespect,hemetourgazes.“IamPrinceCallen.Iamtoldthatmymotherhasbeenkilledandwehavesurrenderedinthewar.”
Hewasallbusinessandtoughexterior,showingnoemotion,whichIrespected
Draesteppedforward:wehadagreedhewouldspeakonourbehalf.“YouareKingCallennow.Ifyouwantit.Weonlyrequirethatyousignaone-hundred-yearpeacetreatytoneverstartwarwithourrealmsagain.”
CallenseemedtoconsiderDrae’swords,peeringaroundathismother’sloyalwarriorswhostoodontheoutskirtsofourconversation.“AndifIdon’tsignit?”heasked.
Okay,thatwasn’tagoodsign.
“Thenwekillyouandmovetothenextheirinyourlineofsuccessionuntiloneagrees.”
Callenlookedlikehe’dexpectedthat.“Rightthen,shallwetakethisnegotiationinside?”heaskedwithaflickofhiseyebrows.
Therewassomethinginhisface.Somethingthatsaidhehadmoretosaybutdidn’twanttospeakinfrontofhismother’swarriors.
Draeinclinedhishead.“It’snotanegotiation,butsure.”
Withthat,AxilandIledthewayintothecastlewhichhadbeenclearedofhispeopleandwasnowcrawlingwithours.Awolvenwarriorstoodattheopeningofeveryhallanddoorway.
WhenCallenenteredthecastle,hemovedtogotothediningroombutIpulledoutahandtostophim.
“You’renotgoingtowanttoseewhat’sinthere.”
Yourmother’sheadlessbody,Iwantedtosay.
Dawningrealizationplayedoutonhisfaceandhemovedawayfromthatdoorandtoanother.Westeppedinsideandfoundourselvesinalargestudywithasparsedeskandonechairbehindit.
Callenmovedbehindthedeskandsatinthechairasweallfannedoutaroundit.Kailaniclosedthedoor.
Oncewewereintheprivatespace,Callenletoutalongsigh.“Iapologizeformyapparentreluctancetosignthistreaty.Ihadtoplaycoyformymother’sloyalists.”
Draenodded.“Soyou’llsignthetreaty?”
Callenbrushedhisfingersthroughhishair.“Ofcourse.ButImightnotlivethroughthenightifIdo.Mymotherwasanextremist,sheandIdidn’tagreeonanything.Hermenareloyaltoherideals.”Hishandsshookalittleandmyheartsoftened.Hewasgenuinelyfearfulforhislife,thatmuchwasclear.
“Doyouhaveyourownarmy?”Draeaskedhim.
Hereacheduptorubhistemples.“Iwouldhardlycallthemanarmy.Ihavetwentyloyalmenatafortaboutonehour’srideeastofhere.”
DraesharedalookwithLucienwhodippedhisheadinagreement.LucienglancedatAxilandRaife,andthenitwasasiftheyallsharedsomeunspokenunderstanding.
Draeclearedhisthroat.“Signthetreatynowandwewillkeepthreehundredofourmenpostedhereuntilyoucantransitionovertonewleadership.You’llhavetoweedoutwhoisloyaltoyourmother’sidealsandwhowouldbestserveyou.”
Callenstilled,hismouthopeninginshock.“Youwoulddothat?”
“Wewantthistobealastingpeaceandwillinvestwhateverittakestodothat,”Raifeadded.
Itwasagreatideaandwouldbemorelastingifhecoulddisposeofhismother’sloyalists.
Callenlookedoverattheelfkingandswallowedhard.“I’m…sorryforwhatmymotherhasdonetoyourfamiliesandyourpeople.”
Anapology?Ihadn’texpectedthat.Thesetypesoftakeoverswereusuallyfraughtwithtension.
“Wereyouclosewithher?”Iasked,tryingtogaugehowthisnormalandseeminglykindhumancamefromher.
Hebarkedoutalaugh.“Shewasn’tcapableofcloseness.Orlove.No,meandmybrotherseachstayedwithheruntilwewereseven.Thenweweresentawaytoliveelsewhereandraisedbyananny.Noneofusshareafather.Shejustwantedheirstocontinueherbloodline.Myeldestbrotherwastheonlyoneshewasclosewithandhe’sdead.”
Myhearttightenedthen.Onlywithhismotheruntilsevenandthenonhisown?ItwashorribleandIthoughtofOslointhatmomentandhowyoungandsweethewasatseven.He’dneededsomuchloveandreassurancethen.
“Willyourotherbrotherstrytotakeover?”Raifeasked.Icouldsensetheconcerninhisvoicenowtoo.
Callenletoutashakybreath.“I…honestlydon’tknow.Wearen’tclose.Shekeptusapart.Idoubtanyonewantstheresponsibility.Weallhaveourownlandstomanageandareallindependentlywealthy.Wehavenodesiretoruleakingdom.”
Theburdenofone’slineagewassomethingIknewAxilcouldrelatetoandinthatmomentheslippedhishandintomine.
“Areyoumarried?Children?”Draeaskedhim.
Heshookhishead.“Irunaprofitableoremine,notimeforawife.”
Arwenchuckledatthat.“Well,you’rekingnow,thatmeanstakingawifeandhavingchildren.”
We’dsuddenlyalltakentogivingthisyoungmancounselonhowtorule.
Helookedstunnedthen.“Iguessso.”
HeappearedsooverwhelmedandIfeltforhim,butweneededtomakesurethatthiswasasmoothtransitionsothatNightfallneverrosetopoweragain.
“Ihaveanidea,”Iproposedandeveryonelookedatme.“KingCallen,thisisyourchancetochangethings,makethembetterthantheywerebefore,”Itoldhimandhenoddedhisheadinagreement.“Whatif,alongwithsigningthepeacetreaty,youagreedtotakeawifefromoneofourrealms?”
Theentireroomfellintoastunnedsilence.Hismotherhadbeenapurist,humansagainstthoseofuswithmagic.Andthenwhenshecouldn’tnaturallyhavewhatwehad,shestoleit.
“ItwouldsendamessagetoyourpeoplethatthenewNightfallkingdomisoneofinclusion.Notjustanemptypeacetreatywithourkind,butonemarriedintowithgenerationsofheirs,”Draeadded,seeminglydelightedwithmyidea.
Callenswallowedhard,asiftheveryideaofmarryingawomanwhoshiftedintoananimalterrifiedhim.“Pleaseforgivemyignorance,asIliveonamountainanddonottraveloften.CouldI…havehealthychildrenwithsomeonewhoisnotmykind?”
Kailanichuckledatthat.“Ofcourse!Yourchildrenwillbehalfhuman,halfwhateveryourwifeis.Theywouldhavesomeofherabilities,whateverthosemightbe.I’mhalfelf.”
HerelaxedafterhearingthatandIhadtoremindmyselfthatthismanhadbeenshelteredawayinthemountainsandprobablyfedliesaboutourpeoplehisentirelife.
“Itwasjustasuggestion,”Draesaid.“Butitmightbetoomuchofaleapfrom—”
“No,Ithinkit’sagoodidea.Amarriagetobridgeourkingdoms.Iwouldbehonoredtochooseawifefromanyofyourrealms,”hesaiddiplomaticallybutIcouldhearthenervesinhisvoice.Iwonderedifitwasbecausehe’djustagreedtochooseawifewhocarriedmagic,orthathe’dhavetogetmarriedatall.Hewasveryhandsomeandyoungandhadjustadmittedhewasrich.Iwasbettinghecouldhaveanywomanhewantedwherehelived.He’dhavetogivethatup,becomekingandchangehisentirelifeovernight.Itwasalottoprocess.
Draepulledtheprewrittentreatyoutandspreaditacrosshisdesk.“Alright,wellifyousignhere,wecanannounceyourdesiretotakeawifewhileourmenarestillpostedherejustincasethereisbacklash.”
Hegraspedhisquillandink.“Iappreciatethat,”hetoldDrae.“Ican’timaginethatnewswillbetakenwell.”
“Youmightbesurprised,”Kailanioffered.“Igrewuphereandmanyofthepeoplejustdidwhatyourmothersaidbecausetheywerescaredofher,notbecausetheyagreed.”
Draeheldoutahandoverthetreaty,blockingCallenfromsigning.“Don’tyouwanttoreaditfirst?”heasked.“Italsorequiresthedestructionofallofyourmother’smagic-stealingmachines.”
Callenshivered.“Ihatedthatinvention.Goodriddance.Ijustwantpeaceuponourlands.”
DraemovedhishandandCallensignedeasilyaseachoneofussighedinrelief.
ItwasdoneandbymyaccountitlookedlikeCallenwasalreadyshapinguptobeadecentking.
OnebyoneweshookhishandandIhadtoadmithe’dearnedmyrespect.Itwouldbehardforhimfromhereonoutbutheseemeduptothetaskwithalittlehelp.
“AndIhatetoaddanotherthingbutyourmotherhadalignedwiththenecromeriansandwekilledtheirkingtoo.He’sinyourdiningroom.”IwincedasItoldhim.
Hiseyesbugged.“Thenecros?”
SoIwasright,hehadn’tbeenonthebattlefield.Theoutfitwasallforshow.
“Theremightberetaliationforthat.Youwillwanttoamassacounciltogiveyouadvice,”Lucienoffered.
“Ineedadrink,”Callensaidandweallburstintolaughter.
DraereachedacrossthedeskandclappedCallenontheshoulder.“Itwillbeokay,youngking.Justpretendyouhaveitallfiguredout,untilyoureallydo.”
“Noted,”Callenoffered,butwaswearingaruefulsmile.
Withthat,weleft.ThewarthatIhadn’tevenknownabouttwoweeksagowasoverandnowallthatwaslefttodowasburyourdeadandmendourhearts.TWENTY-ONE
Iwasactuallyshowingalittle,mybellyslightlyswollenwithpregnancy.Ithadbeentwomonthssincethewarendedandwe’ddecidedtogettogetherinArchmerewithallthekingsandqueensofAvaliertohaveamemorialceremonyforourfallenones.I’dburiedmybrotherCyrusthedaywe’dgottenbackandthenpromptlyfallenintoaweek-longdepression.TheonlythingsthatpulledmeoutofitwasOslo,Axilandthisbaby.
Irubbedmybelly,suckingonthepieceofgingermylady-in-waitinghadcutformethismorningtokeepthenauseadown.ElizasatnexttomeinthecarriageasOslorodealongsideAxil.AxilwasteachingOsloallofthemanlythingsoneneededtoknowtobeanalphaandleader.SinceOslo’sescapefromthedungeoninNightfall,hehadshowngreatdominanceandseemedtobecomingintohisown.
AxilsaidinanotherthreeyearshewouldgiveOsloasafepositioninhisarmytostartlearningtheropesandonedaymybrotherwouldmakeagoodcommander.
“Auntie’Liza,”Elizasaid,pullingmyattentionfrommythoughts.
“What?”
“I’mtryingonnamesforthebabytocallme.Elizaistoolong.”
Ismiledatmypacksister.AlthoughAxilhadclaimedmeforDeathMountainpack,andElizahadremainedwithMudFlat,wehadabondthatcouldstillbefeltasifwewereinthesamepack.Noonecouldexplainit.Itwasunbreakable.Forgedwithtrustandalifedebtonbothsides.
“AuntieLiz.”Ishorteneditevenmore.
Elizagrinned.“Ilovethat.”
ElizahadflourishedintheMudFlatpack.She’dnotbeendominantenoughtotakemyspotbutshewassixth,whichwasstillprettyimpressive.Shelivedinmychildhoodhomeandhelpedtotakecareofmybrother’swidowandmynephewsthathe’dleftbehind.Iwentouttheretovisitthemonceamonth.
“Amaratoldmeyou’vebeenspendinglongnightswithShaneunderthestars,”Isaidinasyrupysweetvoice.“What’sgoingonthere?”
Elizascoffed.“Aladydoesn’tkissandtell.”
“So,there’skissing!”Iaccused.
Sheburstoutlaughing,goingbrightredinthecheekswhichmademesmiletoo.HerlaughwascontagiousandIwassogratefulthatagainstallodds,we’dbothmadeitoutoftheQueenTrialsalive.
Weslowed,andAxilpoppedhisheadin.“We’rehere.”
Iwasn’tusedtoridinginacarriagebutnowthatIwasapregnantqueen,Axilsaidawolfsledwasn’tappropriateorsafeenough.
WedescendedfromthecarriageandOslodismounted,slippinghishandintomine.
“AretheygoingtohaveCyrus’namecarvedintoatreeorsomething?”heaskedme.
Ireachedupandsmoothedhisstrayhairs.“Idon’tknow.Probablynot.”Theelveshadaskedtoberesponsibleforthetaskofhonoringthefallen.Fivehundredandthirty-sevenbodieswererecoveredfromthewar.Fae,dragon-folk,elvinandwolven.Ididn’tknowwhatkindofmemorialtheywoulddobutKailanihadsoundedprettyexcitedaboutitinherlastlettertome.
Itwasjustgettingdark,thesunsettingonthehorizon.Theelveshadbeenveryclearthattheunveilingofthememorialshouldbeatsunset.
Hundredsofpeoplehadtraveledfromthroughouttherealmtobeheretonight.IspottedMadelynninthecrowdwithLucienandshewavedmeover.Whenwereachedthem,shepulledmeinforahugandsqueezed.“You’reshowing!”shecooedovermybellyandIsmiledather.AxilandLucienclappedeachotheronthebackandthenKailaniwassuddenlybeforeus.
“Hurryoryou’llmissit!”shesaidandyankedmebythehand,pullingmeandOslotowardstheopenspacetheyhadpreparedfortheevent.Itwassetatthebaseofabeautifulmountainandinthecenterofthemeadowwasabreathtaking,gigantic,weepingwillowtree.
RaifestoodbeforethetreewearingastylishsilvertunicandKailanipulledmerightpastallthecrowdsofpeopleanduptothefront.Sheknewhowhardmybrother’slosshadhitmeandIthoughtitwassweetshehadputsomuchtimeinthismemorialforthefallenones.
Raifeclearedhisthroatandthenpointedtohiswife.“Iwouldliketohonormyqueen,mywife,mylove,Kailani.Thiswasherideaandshemetwithalloftheartistsandwatchedoverthewholeproject.”
Everyoneclapped,meincluded,asKailaniblushedbesideherhusband.
“Andabigthankyoutoallofthelocalartistswhomadethismemorialpossibleandworkedtirelessly.”Raifethengesturedwithhishandandoverfiftyartistssteppedoutfromthecrowdandassembledbeforeus.
Weapplaudedloudlyastheybowed,acceptingthepraisewithgratitude.Astheymovedtothesides,openinguptheclearingagain,Inoticedtheweepingwillowtreehadleavesorflowersorsomethingonit.Theywereglintinginthedyinglightasifmadeofmetal.
“TheNightfallwartookalotfromus,”Raifesaid,“butwenowlookforwardtoareignofpeacethatwewilltrytofindsolacein.”Hethengesturedtothetree.“MaythesoulsofthefallenonesbewiththeirMakerforever.Pleasecomecloser,andwhenthesunsets,youwillseethesurprise.”Thecrowdpushedforwardthen,andIgraspedOslo’shandandmovedcloser.Witheverystepwetooktowardsthemagnificenttree,themetalobjectsbecameclearer.
Theyweremetal,buttheyweren’tflowers.Theywerebutterflies!Tinysculptureshookedontothetree.Thecenterofthebodyofeachbutterflywasformedofbeautifulcrystal.
Iwalkedrightuptooneofthemandpeeredattheintricatewingdesign.There,engravedalongtheoutsideofthewingintinyperfectscript,wasaphrase.
WehonorThomasColt.
Alumpformedinmythroat.
Ireadanother.
WehonorCassadyReaders.
Kailaniappearedatmysideandmotionedustoaweepingstrandnearthebaseofthetree.Therewasalittlegoldbutterflyandengravedonthewingwas,wehonorCyrusSwiftwater.
Oslotookonelookatitandbegantowipeathisleakingeyes.Itriedbutcouldn’tholdbackthetears.NormallyIwouldcallthemweakandtrynottoshowemotionbutmybrotherwaswortheverytearIhadcriedforhim.
“It’ssobeautiful,”ItoldKailaniasshewatchedmyreaction.
Reachingover,shepattedmyback.“Look.”ShepointedtothecenterofthebutterflyandIhadtorapidlyblinktomakesureIwasn’tseeingthings.
Thesunhadleftusandnowthecrystalsinthecenterofthebutterflieswereglowing!Atfirstitwasbarelynoticeablebutastheskygrewdarker,thebutterfliesalltookonabeautifulpurplehue.
Gaspsrangthroughoutthespaceasthetreelituplikethemoon.Overfivehundredglowingbutterflies.
“Thesecrystalsnevergodark!”Raifeyelled.“Theyarechargedbysunlightandwillglow,eachnight,untiltheendoftime!Justasthememoriesofthosefallenoneswillalwaysbewithus.”
AfewpeopleburstintosobsandIpulledOslointomyarms.SuddenlyAxilwasthereholdingusbothandIknewitwastheperfectremembranceformybrother.Hislightwouldneverfade,justasthememoriesofhimwouldneverleaveme.EPILOGUE
OneYearLater
“Asanalpha,youwillneedtostaredeathinthefaceandlaugh,”Axiltoldourthree-month-oldsonKoaCyrusMoonashelaynestledinhisfather’sarms.KoalookedupathisfatherwithbrightblueeyesasspitbubblesformedonhislipsandIsmiled.
“Teachinghimthewaysofthebigbadwolf?”IaskedasIenteredtheroom.
Axillookedupatmewithadoration.“Alphatrainingstartsyoung.”
Isnickered.“Quiteyoungindeed.”
Imovedtohissideandplacedakissonhischeek.“Yousureyouguyswillbeokaywithoutmeforthreedays?”
“Areyoukidding?Koahastwowetnurses,hiscrazyAuntLiz,andIhaveanentirepalacestaff.We’llbefine.Havefunwithyourfriends.”
Kailanihadarrangedthefirstofourannualqueens’retreats.Weweregoingtostayatawell-knownelvinhotspringinthemountainsforthreedays.Justme,Kailani,MadelynnandArwen.
IsmiledathimandoneofthenursemaidscameintotakeKoaforhisfeed.Ithankedher,kissinghimgoodbyeandthenlookedatAxil.SometimesIcouldn’tbelievethatwe’dmadeit.ThatI’dmetmymateatfifteenandagainstalloddswenowstoodbeforeeachotherashusbandandwife.
“So,I’vebeenthinking.”Axilreachedoutandyankedmeclosertohimsothatmybodyslammedflushupagainsthis.“Koaneedsasister,”hebreathedalongmyneckandIburstoutlaughing.
“Koaisstillonthebreast!Asistercanwait.”Ipawedathishandwhichwascreepingupthebackofmytunic.
Axilpouted,stickinghisbottomlipout.“Isn’tthatwhyyouhavetwobreasts?Youcanfeedtwoatatime.Arwendoes.”
IletloosewithawildcarefreelaughandIcouldn’thelpbutfeelmyheartswell.“Youwantadaughter?”Iaskedhim,suddenlydroppingintomybedroomvoiceandlettingmyeyesgohalflidded.
Heswallowedhard,nodding.Reachingout,Istrokedasinglefingeragainstthewaistofhistrousersandhiseyesshutteredclosed.MakinglovetoAxilwassomethingIcouldn’tgetenoughof.Hekneweveryinchofmybody,everythingthatpleasuredme.“Whatifwegetanotherson?”Iasked,rakingmylipsalonghisjaw.
“ThenwekeeptryinguntilIhaveadaughterwho’sasfeistyandbeautifulashermother,”hepanted.
Ismiled,pullingbacktoremovemytunic.“Whatifthattakesadozenchildren?”
Helookedupatmeandgrinned.“Icanthinkofnothingbetterthanhavingadozenchildrenwithyou,mylove.”
Droppingtohisknees,hekissedmystomachandheattraveleddownfrommychesttothesensitivespotbetweenmylegs.Anticipationthrummedthroughme.SinceKoa’sbirth,ourlovemakinghadbeensparse.Uplatewithfeedingsandhiscriesofhunger,itwashardtomaketimeforthatsortofthing.
AxiltrailedhistonguealongtheridgeofmytrousersandIswallowedhardasheuntiedthemandtheydroppedtothefloor.
“I’llbelateformycarriagetoArchmere,”Ihuffed.
Helookedupatmewithyelloweyes.“Idon’tcare.”
Igrinnedathiswolf.
Hello,nicetoseeyou.
IlovedwhenAxilgotforcefulanddominantinbed.“Well,youbettermakeitworthmywhilethen,AxilMoon,”Icommanded.
Withthatheliftedmeupandthrewmeoverhisshoulder,elicitingasquealfrommeashemarchedmetoourmaritalbed.
Whenhethrewmebackdown,Icouldseehisgazedrowningindesireashiseyesrakedoverme.“Thatsoundslikeachallenge.”HiswolfwasbackandIgrinnedasheloweredhimselfontopofme.
We’ddoneit.Againstalloddswe’dfoundourhappilyeverafterandIhadtoagreewithAxil:itwasworththewait.
***
Iwaslatetomygirls’getawaytripbutnooneseemedtomind.Forthenextthreedaysitwasgoingtobemassagesandclaymudmasksandgirltime.WhenIarrived,IwasledintothelivingquartersattheelvinspathatKailanihadarrangedforus.WhenIsteppedinsidetheluxuriousdrawingroom,Inoticedthethreewomenstandingoveraplatterofdriedfruitsandcheeses.Arwenspuntofaceme,herbellyswollenwithpregnancy.
Mymouthdroppedopen.“Youdidn’ttellme!”IrantoherandKailaniturnedaswell,showingoffasmallerbumpthanArwen.
Myeyesgrewwider.“Iseveryonepregnant!”IscreamedinexcitementasIhuggedthemboth.
“Wantedtosurpriseyouall.”Arwenpattedherbelly.“Wethinkit’stwinsagain.”
Thatwouldscaremebutsheseemedtotakeitinherstride.
“Minebetternotbetwins,”Kailanioffered.
MadelynnstrodeovertowhereIstoodandsmiledatme,pattingherflatstomach.“I’mnotpregnantyet.Wewanttotakeayearandtravel.”
Shepulledmeinforahug.
“That’sagreatidea.ComevisitusinFallenmoore,”Itoldher.
“How’slittleKoa?Keepingyouupofteninthenight?”Kailaniasked.
Wesatdownandtalkedforhoursthen.Wespokeaboutfamily,ourhopesanddreams,annoyingthingsourhusbandsdid.Everything.Itwassonicetojustrelaxandspeakwithotherstrongwomenandleaders.Theseladieshadbecomefiercealliesandloyalfriendsoverthepastyear.KailaniandRaifehadtraveledinforKoa’sbirthincasetherewereanycomplications.ArwenandDraeflewoverwiththetwinsonceamonthforplaydateswithKoa,andMadelynnandIhaddevelopedadeepfriendshipthroughletters.ShehadalittlesisterOslo’sageandwebothsharedtheprotectiveburdenoftakingcareofourfamilies.
“Hey,”Madelynnsaid,sippingherwine.“Weshouldhaveourkidsdoayearlyretreatlikeourhusbandsdid,makesureeveryonestaysstrongandbondedasourkingdomsgrow.”
“Yes!”Arwenagreed.
“Totally,”Kailanichippedin.
Inoddedwithasmilebutathoughtstruckme.ShouldweinviteanyfutureheirsofNightfall?ThequeenwasdeadandhermoresensiblesonCallenhadtakenoverandwasduetobemarriedsoon.Butthemachinesthathadbeendestroyedcouldberebuilt.Havingallofthechildrenoftherealmtogethereachyearforaretreatwouldensurealastingpeace.
“Yes,andweshouldextendastandinginvitationtothefutureheirsofNightfall,”Iadded.
Allthreewomenwentstill,seemingtothinkitover.
“Yes!Ilovethat,”Madelynnsaidasshepoppedanotherpieceoffruitintohermouth.
Finally,Kailaninoddedheragreement.“Agreed.You’resosensible,Zara.”
IlaughedandArwenraisedherglassofjuicetome.“Zaraisright.ThefutureofAvalierdependsonallrealmsgettingalong.Nightfallincluded.”
“Especiallythem,”Madelynnadded,raisingherglass.
WeallclinkedandthenArwensighed.“ShouldweinvitetheheirsofNecromere?”
“Don’tgetcrazy,”Madelynntoldthedragonqueenandthatcausedusalltoeruptintofitsoflaughter.
Wethentalkedforanotherhouraboutthewarandhowwellthingsweredoingnow.Whenthesunstartedtogodown,Arwenstoodwithagleefulsmileandranovertoherbaginthecorner.
Reachingdown,shepulledoutabrand-newbluetinboxandsetitonthecoffeetable.
“What’sthat?”Kailaniasked.
Arwengrinned.“Ithoughttheboys’littlememoryboxwasacuteidea.Ithinkweshouldallwriteourselveslettersandthenopenthemintwentyyearswhenourkidsaregrown.”
“Yes!”IshotupfromwhereIsatandgrabbedapieceofparchmentandaninkquill.Theothersdidthesameandweallrushedtoseparatecornersoftheroom.
Iploppeddownwiththeparchmentinfrontofmeandbegantowrite.
DearFutureZara,
Intwentyyears,youandAxilwillprobablyhaveadozenchildrenandtheywillallbefightingtheirwayupthepacktothemostdominantposition.Yourlifewashardintheearlyyears,losingyourparentssoyoung,losingAxilatfifteen,havingtoraiseOslolikeasonwhenyouwerebarelygrownyourself.AndthenlosingCyrusalmostbrokeyou.ButIhopeyoucanlookbackonthisandsmile,becausethingscanonlygoupfromhere.You’reamothertoabeautifullittleboy,you’reamatetoamanwholovesyoumorethanlife,andmostofall,you’restrong.You’velearnedthatnomatterwhatlifethrowsatyou,youcandohardthings.Soontheoffchancelifedoesthrowyousomecurveballsinthenexttwentyyears,Ijustwanttosay…don’tworry.Yougotthis.
You’rethestrongestwomanIknow.
Love,
Z
Ilookedupfromtheletter,happytoseemygirlfriendssmilingaswellastheywrotetheirown,thenIscribbledalastline.
Oh,anddon’teverforget…Lifeisbetterwhenit’ssharedwithfriends.Cherishthem.
Somethingthathadbeenemptyinsideofmesincemyparentsdiedwasfilledinthatmoment.IhadeverythingIcouldhaveeverwanted.Ihadfamily,friends,akingdom,achild.IfeltsohappyandcompleteandIknewthatnomatterwhatlifethrewmyway,Icouldgetthroughit.
TheEnd
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