BERKLEYROMANCE
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Copyright?2023byLynnPainter
ExcerptfromTheObjectorscopyright?2023byLynnPainter
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LibraryofCongressCataloging-in-PublicationData
Names:Painter,Lynn,author.
Title:Thelovewager/LynnPainter.
Description:FirstEdition.|NewYork:BerkleyRomance,2023.
Identifiers:LCCN2022032815(print)|LCCN2022032816(ebook)|ISBN9780593437285(tradepaperback)|ISBN9780593437292(ebook)
Subjects:LCGFT:Novels.
Classification:LCCPS3616.A337846L682023(print)|LCCPS3616.A337846(ebook)|DDC813/.6—dc23/eng/20220708
LCrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2022032815
LCebookrecordavailableathttps://lccn.loc.gov/2022032816
FirstEdition:March2023
CoverdesignandillustrationbyNathanBurton
BookdesignbyGeorgeTowne,adaptedforebookbyMollyJeszke
Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentseitheraretheproductoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,businessestablishments,events,orlocalesisentirelycoincidental.
pid_prh_6.0_142813756_c0_r0forKevin
Ilovethewayyoualwayshaveacampingbagfullypacked&ready
Thankyouforneverovercookingmysteak
RememberthattimewebroughtvodkaonthetraintoNewYork
Becauseyoucanpickthingsupwithyourtoes
2words:PamAnderson’scarrepairs
YourhandsarebiglikeRomanceMan
BecauseIknowthatyouwouldsomehowknowwhattodoinazombieapocalypse
Becauseyoucontinuetochoosemeoveradog
Youarethewindbeneathmywings
ImissthenewsiehatsyouworewhenwelivedinChicago
Youaremyhappyplace.ChapterONEHallie
“CanIgetaManhattanandachardonnay,please?”
“Surething.”HallieglancedoverhershoulderasshehandedoneofthebridesmaidsaCrownandCoke,and—wow—thedudeshoutinghisorderovertheway-too-loudversionof“ElectricSlide”wasveryattractive.Hewasobviouslyinthebridalparty,alltuxxed-upandlookingfancy,andeventhoughshe’dswornoffdating,Halliecouldn’thelpbutappreciatethedimplesandtheHollywoodbonestructure.“Youwantthatwithbourbon?”
Heleanedonhisforearmsandstretchedalittleclosertothebarasthehotel’sballroomhitpeaknoiselevel.“Rye,please.”
“Nice.”ShereachedintothegrayplasticbucketandpulledaCaliforniabottleoutoftheice.“Interestedintryingitwithorangebitters?”
Hisdimplespoppedandheraisedhiseyebrows,hisblue(?)—yes,blue—eyessquinting.“Isthatathing?”
“Itis.”Shepouredthechardonnayandsettheglassinfrontofhim.“Ifyou’renotamoron,you’llloveit.”
Hecoughedalaughandsaid,“Iconsidermyselftobegenerallynon-moronic,sohookmeup.”
Halliestartedmakinghisdrink,andshekindoffeltlikesheknewtheguy.Heseemedfamiliar.Nothisface,necessarily,buthisvoiceandsuper-tallheightandtwinklyeyesthatmadehimlooklikehewasdownforanywildadventure.
Sheglancedathimasthedancefloor’sdiscolightslituphisdarkhair.ShakingthemixerandstrainingtheManhattanintoaglass,shestruggledtocomeupwithit;think,think,think.Hewaslookingbackinthedirectionoftheheadtablewhenitfinallyhither.
“IknowhowIknowyou!”
Heturnedbackaround.“What?”
ItwassoloudthatHalliehadtoleanalittleclosertohim.Shesmiledandsaid,“You’reJack,right?I’mHallie.Iwastheonewhosoldyouthe—”
“Hey!”hesaid,smiling,butthenhesethishandonhersandgaveherhard-coreeyecontactasheleanedcloserandsaid,“Hallie.Listen.Let’snotmention—”
“Oh.My.God.”Ablondeappearedbesidehim—wheredidshecomefrom?—andhereyesnarrowedasshelookedatHallieandsaid,“Seriously,Jack?Thewaitress?”
“Bartender,”Halliecorrected,havingnoideawhyshefelttheneedorwhatwasupSuperblonde’sass.
“Youleavemealonefortenminutes—atyoursister’swedding,forGod’ssake—tocanoodlewiththewaitress?”
“Um,Icanassureyoutherewasnocanoodling,”Halliesaid,painfullyawarethatthewoman’sloudvoicewasdrawingalotofattention.“AndI’mabartender,notawaitr—”
“Canyoujustshutup?”Superblondesaiditthroughhernoseandwiththelastwordpitchedanoctavehigher,likeshewasaKardashian.
“Wouldyourelax,Vanessa?”Jacksaidthroughhisteeth,glancingoverhisladyfriend’sheadashetriedtogethertoquietdown.“Idon’tevenknowher—”
“Isawyou!”Shewasnear-yellingastheDJswitchedto“EndlessLove,”whichdidzerotomutetheoutburst.Whereisthedamn“Macarena”whenyouneedit?Superblonde—Vanessa,apparently—said,“Youwereleaninginandholdingherhand.Howlonghasthis—”
“Comeon,Van,it’snot—”
“Howlong?”sheshrieked.
Theguy’sjawflexed,likehewasclenchingandunclenchinghisteeth,andthenhesaid,“Sincethismorning.”
Vanessa’smouthdroppedopen.“Youwerewithherthismorning?”
“Notwithmewithme,”Halliesaid,lookingaround,horrifiedbytheimplication.Sheworkedpart-timeatBorsheim’sontheweekends.Theguy,Jack,hadcomeintothestorethatmorning,andshe’dhelpedhimfindaring.
Andnotjustanyring.
Thering.
Thewill-you-be-a-jealous-hag-for-the-rest-of-my-life?ring.
“Shesoldmethis”Jackpulledtheringboxoutofhispocketandpracticallyshoveditinthegirl’sfaceashespokethroughhisteeth.“Iboughtthisforyou,Vanessa.Christ.”
Theboxwasclosed,butHallieknewastunningsquare-cutdiamondengagementringwasnestledinside.He’dseemedlikeafunny,charmingguywhenshehelpedhimshopfortheperfectring,butifhethoughtVanessawassoul-matematerial,heclearlyonlythoughtwithhispenis.
Orhereallywasamoron.
“Oh,myGod,”Vanessasquealed,herfacetransformingintosunlightasshebeamedatJackandputherhandsoverherheart.“You’reproposing?”
Hestaredatherwithhiseyessquintedforasolidfivesecondsbeforesaying,“I’mnotnow.”
Hersmileslipped.“You’renot?”
“Fuck,no.”
Halliesnorted.
WhichmadeVanessaswinghernarrowed,long-lashed—wow,thosehadtobeextensions—eyesinHallie’sdirection.Shehissed,“Issomethingfunny?”
Hallieshookherhead,butforsomereason,shecouldn’tmakeherlipsstraighten.Shekepthearingthedude’sfuck,noanditwasjustsochef’skiss
Beforeshehadasecondtorealizewhatwashappening,Vanessagrabbedthefullglassofchardonnayfromwhereitwassittingonthebar,turnedherwrist,andthrewitscontentsinHallie’sface.
“Gahh!”Coldwinesplashedoverherfaceandburnedhereyes.Thankfully,asabartender,shewassurroundedbytowelsandhappenedtohaveoneonhershoulderthatverysecond.Halliesnatcheditandwipedherface.“Hey.Van.Whatisyourproblem?”
“Youaremyprob—”
“Iamsosorry,”Jacksaid,lookingpatheticallyapologetic.HegrabbedHallie’stowelandstartedpattingherdrippingneck,whichmadeVanessa’seyesgrowhuge.
“Oh,myGod,she’sfine,”Vanessasaid.
“Yeah,I’mfine,”Halliesaid,givinghimaweirdlookasshesnatchedbackthetowel.“Sheseemsgreat,bytheway.”
Heleanedincloser,soallHalliecouldseewashisworriedfaceandblueeyes.“You’regood?”
“Yeah.”Hallieblinkedandfeltlikesheneededtotakeastepback.Hewastooattractiveforhumaneyes,especiallywhengivingthatsortofeyecontact.Sheranhertongueoverherfreshlychardonnayedlips.“Well,actually,no,ifI’mbeinghonest.See,Irecommendthischardonnayallthetimebecauseit’ssupposedtobeoakywitharich,butteryfinish,butit’sactuallydryashellwithabitter,staleaftertaste.”
Hepursedhislips.
“I’vebeenperpetratingaliethisentiretime.”
Hiseyescrinkledaroundtheedgesandhismouthtwitched.Helookedlikehewasabouttosmile,butVanessagrabbedhisarm,andhisfacechangedtostraight-uppissed.Halliewatchedhisthroatmoveasheswallowed,andthenheturnedaroundandsaid,“Weneedtogo.”
Herperfecteyebrowswentup.“We’releaving?”
“Somethinglikethat.Comeon.”
Heledhisprettymonsterawayfromthebar,andHalliemoppedupbeforegettingbacktomakingdrinks.Theentiredustuphadhappenedoverthecourseofamerethreeminutes,butit’dfeltlikeaneternity.
Theotherbartender,Julio,askedoutofthesideofhismouthashepouredvodkaintofiveshotglasses,“Whatthehellwasthat?”
“Justabatshitjealousgirlfriend.”Shemovedtotheotherendofthebarandtookanorderfortwowhiskeysours.“Idon’tevenknowthem.”
“Oh,myGod,HalliePiper,Ithoughtthatwasyou!”
Hallielookedupanddidadoubletake.Seriously,universe?“AllisonScott?”
Ugh.Allison.They’dgonetohighschooltogether,andshewasoneofthosegirlswhowastechnicallysupernicebutalwaysmanagedtowordthingsinwaysthatmadepeoplefeellikeshit.Halliehadn’tseenhersincegraduationeightyearsago,andshedefinitelyhadn’tmissedher.
“Oh,myGod,youarethemostadorablebartenderI’veeverseen.”AllisonbeamedandgesturedtowardHallie’sdampblacktanktopandblackjeans.“Seriouslyyou’re,like,acutesy-cutedrink-makerinamovie.”
AllisonwasgivingtotalAlexisRosevibes,andHalliepastedasmileonherface.“CanImakeyousomething?”
“Myboyfriendisoneofthegroomsmen,”shesaid,apparentlynotinwantofabeverage.“Andwhenheranoverandsaidtherewasacatfightatthebar,Ineverinamillionyearswould’veguessedit’dbemysuper-anal,buttoned-upfriendHallie.”
Didshejustcallmesuper-anal?DearGod.Hallieexplained,“Itwasn’tacatfight,itwasmorelikeamisunderstandingbetweenacouple,withmeascollateraldamage.”
“Icaughttheendofit.”Shesmiled,andtherewassomethingkindofGrinch-likeintheslow,satisfiedclimbofit.“Sowhat’reyoudoingthesedays?Besidestendingbaratweddingreceptions.AreyoustillwithBen?”
AmanbehindAllisonhelduptwoemptyMichUltrabottles,soHalliegrabbedtwofromunderthebar,openedthem,andsetthemdownasshesaid,“Nope.IamlivinglifeBen-free.”
“Oh.Wow.”Allison’seyesgotbig,likeHalliehadjustdeclaredherselfaserialkillerbecauseshe’dhadtheaudacitytobreakupwiththeguywhohadoncebeenconsideredtheirhighschool’sstarrunningback.Sheasked,“Sowhat’syoursisterdoing?”
HalliewantedtoscreamwhensheheardtheDJannouncethebride-and-groomdance,becauseitmeanttherewouldbenomadrushfordrinks;peoplelovedwatchingthatsappyshit.Allisoncouldloiterandmakeuncomfortablesmalltalkforaslongasshewanted,andthatmadeHalliedaydreamaboutchandeliersaccidentallyfallingfromtheceilingandcrushingannoyingex-friends.
“Um,LillieisengagedtoRileyHarper—they’regettingmarriednextmonth.Doyourememberhimfrom—”
“Oh,myGod—she’sengagedtoRileyHarper?Hewasourhomecomingking,right?”
Hallienoddedandwonderedifshewastheonlyonewhodidn’tthinkoftheirhighschool’shomecomingroyaltyasours.Toher,thekingwasjustsomeguywhoworethecrownatadance.
“Wow,goodforher.”Allisonlookedimpressed.“Doesshework?”
“Yeah,um,she’sanengineer.”
“Youhavegottobekidding!”Shegaveherchic,bobbedheadalittleshake.“YouguysarelikeFreakyFridaychicksnow.”
“What?”
“Youknow.Youwerealwaystheresponsible,togetherone,andLilliewasthehotmessshitshow.Nowshe’sanengineerwithafiancé,andyou’resingleandwaitingtablesandgettingintobarfights.”Shesmiledlikeitwashilarious.“Crazy.”
AllisonfinallyorderedadrinkandstoppedtorturingHallie,butassoonasshewalkedaway,herwordsplayedonacontinuousloopinHallie’smind.Hotmessshitshow.Hotmessshitshow.
God,hadtheyFreakyFridayed?
Halliespentthenexthalf-hourfreakingoutinherheadwhileshecontinuedslingingdrinksonautopilot.Hotmessshitshow.Itwasn’tuntil“SingleLadies”cameonthatsheembracedherinnerBeyoncéandrememberedthateverythingwasgoingtobeokay.
Becauseshewasn’tahotmessshitshowatall.Rather,itwasjusther“winter.”
AftersheandBensplitup(akaafterherealizedhedidn’tloveheratall),Halliehaddecidedtotreatitas“thewinterofhertwenties.”Acold,dormantseasonthatwouldleadtoabountifulspring.She’dmovedoutofBen’splaceandgottenacheapapartment—witharoommate.She’dtakentwopart-timejobs,inadditiontohercareer,topaydownherstudentloansinhalfthetime.
Thewayshesawit,shewasgoingtotakeadvantageofherman-freetime.Shewasgoingtolivelikeapeasantandhustleherassoff.Theyweredarkdays,herwinterseason,butsoontheywouldallpayoff.
“YOU.”
Hallielookedup,andtheguy—Jack—waschargingstraighttowardthebar.Helookedintense—seriousface,tiehanginguntiedaroundhisneck—andhiseyeswerefixedonher.
“Me?”Shelookedbehindher.
“Yes.”Hestoppedwhenhereachedthebarandsaid,“Ineedyou.”
“Ibegyourpardon?”Hallietiltedherheadandsaid,“Andwhathappenedtothatsweetheartofagirlfriendofyours?Van,wasit?”
“Weneedabartenderintheback.”Jackignoredherremark,lookingatJulioandsaying,“Doyouthinkyoucanspareherforabit?”
JulioglancedatHallie,tryingtogaugeherreaction,beforesaying,“Yes,butIbelievethebridescheduled—”
“She’stheonewhosentmeover.I’mherbrother.”
“Firstofall,don’ttalktohimaboutmelikeI’mnothere.JustbecauseIhavebreastsdoesn’tmeanI’mincapableofspeakingformyself.Secondofall,”Halliesaid,irritatedbythehotguy’sobvioussexism,“Idon’tstriporgivelapdances,soif‘theback’iscodeforsomethingcreepy,countmeout.”
ThatmadeJacksmirkdownather,thekindofsmirkthatmadehimlookbothamusedandirritatedallatthesametime.“Firstofall,IwastoldthatJuliohereisthebanquetsupervisor,soyourbreastsplayednopartwhatsoeverinmychoiceofconversationpartner.”
“Oh,”Halliesaid.
“Andsecondofall,”headded,“yougiveoffastrongno-creepy-lap-dancevibe,soIcanassureyou‘theback’isnotcodeforanythinguntoward.”
Halliepushedbackthestrayhairsthat’dfallenoutofherponytail,feelingabitlikeanidiot.“Well,good.”
“Followme?”
“Whynot?”HalliecamearoundthebarandfollowedJackashewalkedthroughthethrongsofweddingrevelers—mostofwhomsmiledathimlikehewastheirfavoritecousin,eventhoughheappearedoblivious—andwhentheygottothekitchendoor,hepusheditopenandhelditforher.
“Thanks.”Shewalkedthroughthedoor,onlytoseethatthekitchenwasabsolutelydeserted.“Um…?”
Sheturnedaround,andJackhaddroppedhisjacketontopofaboxofbananasandwasrollinguphisshirtsleeves.Heraisedaneyebrowandwaitedforhertospeak.
“Ithoughtyousaidyouneededabartender.”
“Ido.”Hecasuallyhoppedupontothestainless-steelprepcounterandsatsothathislonglegsweredanglinginfrontofhim.“Yougotmedumped,sonowit’syourjobtogetmedrunk.”
Seriously,dude?
“Yeah,um,youaren’ttheking,”Halliesaid,“andI’mnotinterestedinbeingyourpersonalservingwench.Butthankyou.”
“DearGod,Idon’twantyoutoserveme.”Hepointedtothespotbesidehimonthecounter.“IjustthoughtsincewebothhaddrinksthrowninourfacesbyVanessaRobbinstonight,itmightbenicetodrownourtroublesandshareabottle.”
HallietiltedherheadandlookedatthebottleofCrownRoyalnexttohim.
Whydidthatsoundsodamnappealing?
Jack
Hecouldseeitinherfacetheminuteshedecided.Itwaslikeherentireposturerelaxed.
Andthenshesmiled.
Notthatitmattered,butshewascute.Ashortlittleredheadwithabigsmartassmouth.Heactuallyhadrememberedherfromthejewelrystore,notbecauseofhowshelookedbutbecauseshe’dbeenfunnyashellasshe’dshownhimaslewofengagementrings.
Shecameoverandhoppeduponthecounter,crisscrossingherlegsandreachingforthebottle.“Firstofall,pleasetellmeyoudumpedherandnottheotherwayaround.”
“Obviously,”hesaid.
“ThankGod.”Sherolledinherlipsandsaid,“Secondofall,Ihadnothingtodowiththeimplosionofyourrelationship.”
“Well,ifyouhadn’tsaidanything…”
“Thenyou’dbeengagedtoajealouspsycho.”Shenarrowedhergreeneyesandsaid,“Ithinkyouactuallyowemeaginormousthank-you.”
“Isthatright?”
“Forsure,”shesaid,andthensheraisedthebottletohermouthandtookabigdrink.Aftershefinished,shewipedherlipswiththebackofherhand.“Areyouintentionallyforgoingmixers?BecauseI’mokaywiththat,butsinceI’monlyfivefeettall,I’mgoingtogettherealotquickerwithoutCoke.”
Heactuallyfeltlikesmilingwhenhesaid,“Finebyme.”
“AndareyoupayingfortheUberthatIwillsurelyneedwhenwe’refinished?”
Jacktookthebottleasshehelditouttohimandnoticedhisfingerslookedgiganticnexttohers.Hesaid,“Ifitcomestothat,thenyes.”
“Oh,itwilldefinitelycometothat.”Shegavehimanothersarcasticgrinandturnedherbodysoshewasfacinghim.“Iplanongettingfloor-lickingdrunktonight,buddy.Like,can’t-remember-your-own-mother,vomiting-in-the-elevator-phone-box,is-she-okay-or-should-we-call-someonehammered.Caretojoinmeonthethrillride?”
Jacktippedthebottleintohismouthandlettheliquorburnthroughhim,warmingapathallthewaydowntohisbelly.Shewatchedhimthewholetime,andhewasn’tsureifitwasthebuzzornot,buthewassuddenlyall-inongettingdrunkwiththefunnybartender.Hewipedhismouthandhandedthebottlebacktoher.
“So…,”sheasked,wrappingherslimfingersaroundthebottle,“youin,BestMan?”
Jackcouldn’thelpbutsmileashesaid,“I’mallyours,TinyBartender.”ChapterTWOHallie
Hallieopenedhereyesandgroaned.
DearGod.
Hertemplespoundedasshereachedupandtuggedontheblanketthatwascoveringherhead.Shewelcomedthecoolaironherfaceonceshewasoutfromundertheheavyduvet,butthenshesawherownterrifyingreflectioninthemirrordirectlyinfrontofher.
Mirror?
Wait.What?
Itwasthenthatsherealizednotonlywasshelyingsidewaysacrossthebed,butshewasatthefootofthebed.Andthatitwasnot“the”bed,asinabedfamiliartoher,but“a”bed,asinoneshedidn’tknow.
Oh,Gawd.
No,no,no,no.
Scenesfromthenightbeforecameflyingather,andshetriedherbestnottomovethemattressasshesatupandpeeredoverhershoulder.Therewasaseaofwhitebeddingbetweenthem,sheetsandcomfortersthatweretwistedandrestinginhaphazardpiles,butyes—therewasdefinitelyabodysleepingatthetopofthebed.
Hishead,whichappearedtobefacedownonthepillow,wascoveredinthick,darkhairthatsheknewfirsthandfeltsurprisinglysoftwhenyougrabbeditbythehandful.Visionsofthetwoofthemupagainstthedoorofthehotelroomflashedthroughhermind,herhandsburiedinhishairwhilehe—
GAH.
Nope.
Shehadtogetoutofthere.Shesawherpantsandoneofhershoesnexttothedoor.Herothershoelayinthebathroomdoorwayasifkickedoff…oh,yeah,sherememberedkickingitoffandslidingoutofherpantsbeforethedoorwasevenclosedbehindthem.
Idiot,idiot,idiot.
Shemovedgingerly,becausethelastthingshewantedwastowaketheguy.Really,howawkwardwouldthatbe?Hi,rememberme?I’mthebartenderwhorippedallthebuttonsoffyourtuxedoshirt.No,Hallieneededtostealthilygetdressedandgetthehellout.
Sherolledofftheendofthebed,landingonherhandsandknees.Sheforcedherselfnottothinkofhowdirtythehotelcarpetwas—bodilyfluidseverywhereandtheblacklightthingarrrgghhhh—andshepoppedherheaduptomakesurehewasstillsleeping.
Yep.Stillasleep,orpossiblydead,sothatwasgood.
Shedroppedbackdownandcrawledtowardherpants.Sheimaginedshemadequiteapicture,high-speedcrawlinginatanktopandapairofpinkunderwearthathadtinysquirrelsplasteredalloverthem.Shewasprettysurethiswasalowpoint,butshedidn’thavetimetoslowdownandfinddecorum.
Whenshereachedherpants,shejumpedintothemasfastasshecould,pullingthemupasquietlyaspossiblewhilestaringatthebed.Pleasekeepsleeping.Shejammedherfeetintoherflatsasshelookedaroundtheroomforherbra.
Whereinthehellwasthatunderwirednightmare?
Shecheckedthebathroom,thenleaneddownandcheckedunderthebed,butthatthingwasnowheretobefound.Shetiptoedclosertothebed.Itwasprobablytangledinthebedding,butatthatmomentJackmadeanoiseandflippedoverontohisback,whichmadeherdropdowntoherkneesagain.
Why,youdipshit?screamedherbraininaveryhigh-pitchedandhystericalvoice.Whatisthepointofthat?You’renotinvisibleifyou’recrawling,youtool.
Halliegotbacktoherfeetandrealizedthatanyothertime,she’dbestoppingtogazeupontheman’sbody.Hisbroadchest,tightstomach,andropybicepsweredownrightlovely,andshekindofmaybethoughtshemight’vebittenhisforearmlastnight,butshewastoofocusedonescapetoenjoytheview.
Shesquintedandtriedtoseeherbraamongstthesheets,butJackseemedtobebreathingalittlelouder,soshecouldn’triskit.Shesaid,“Fuckit,”andgaveup,grabbedherpurse,andleft,lettingoutherbreathwhenthedoorfinallyshutsoftlybehindher.Shecouldfeelherbralessnessasshejoggeddownthecorridor,andshecrossedherarmswhenshehadtostopandwaitfortheelevator.Thereweregirlswholookedgooddoingthewholebraless-in-a-tank-topvibe—KateHudson,perhaps—butHalliewasnotoneofthem.
Shelookedobscene.
Ahousekeeperwalkedbywithhercart,andHalliewishedshehadn’tseenherreflectioninthathotelroommirror,becausesheknewjusthowawfulshelooked.Asshewaitedfortheelevator,shewonderedifJackwouldbemadthatsheleftwithoutsayinggoodbye.Like,whatwastheetiquetteinthatsituation?She’dneverbeenaone-nighterkindofgirl,soshedidn’tknowwhatsortofnicetieswereusuallyexchangedbeforeparting.MaybeI’llcreeponsocialmediaandDMhim.“Thanksforthebrilliantbonk,bro—”
Butbeforeshecouldevenfinishthatthought,ithither.
Shedidn’tknowhislastname.
Theelevatordoorsopened,andshewasinthegripsofatinyfreak-outasshewentintotheshinycarandhitthelobbybutton.
Holyshit,Idon’tknowhislastname!
Itwouldn’tbehardtofigureoutJack’sfullnameifshewantedto.Hissisterhadbeenthebride,andhe’dboughtaringatBorsheim’sthedaybefore.It’dbeeasyforHallietofindouthislastname,butthatwasn’tthepoint.
Shetookadeepbreathastheelevatorreachedthegroundfloorwithading.
Thepoint,shethoughtasshetookthewalkofshamethroughthelobbywithbedheadandunsupportedbouncybits,wasthatshehadjustwokenupinthehotelroomofaguywhosefullnameshedidn’tknow.Herundergarmentwasmissing,herheadwasthrobbing,andshehadtowalkbyafrontdeskthatwasstaffedwithemployeeswhoallknewshe’dworkedtheweddingthenightbefore.
Hotmessshitshow,indeed.
AndwhenRobert,thesweet,grandfatherlybellmanwhousuallyshowedherpicsofhiskidswhensheworkedawedding,gaveherafriendlywavebeforedroppinghiseyesdowntoherchestandquicklylookingawayinextremeawkwardness,sherealizedthatshe’ddefinitelyhitrockbottom.
Jack
Jackenteredthehotelrestaurant,hisheadthrobbingashewalkedtowardthebigtablewherehisentirefamilywashavingpost-weddingbrunch.Hewasthirtyminuteslate,andtherewasapproximatelyzerochancehismotherwouldn’tnotice.
“Jackieboy,”hisunclesaid,smilingandholdingupabagelingreeting.
“Morning,UncleGary,”Jacksaid,tryingtosmilebutfindingitincrediblydifficult.Didithavetobesogoddamnbrightinthere?
“You’resofuckinglate,”hisolderbrother,Will,said,halfsmilingashechewedwhatlookedtobeeggs.“Everheardofanalarm?”
JackignoredhimandpulledouttheemptychairnexttoColin,hisbestfriendandbrand-newbrother-in-law.Heloweredhimselfintotheseatandsaid,histhroatdryashell,“Where’sLivvie?”
Colin’seyesnarrowed.“Youlooklikeshit.”
“Gee,thanks.”
“She’satthebuffetgettingmorepancakes,”Colinsaid,gesturingwithhisheadinthedirectionofthelonglineoftables.
Jacklookedatthebuffet,andsureenough,hissisterwasfillingherplate.“DearGod,iftheyhavepancakes,you’remissingyourflightforsure.”
OliviaandColinwereleavingforatwo-weekItalianhoneymoononcebrunchwasover.
“She’sbottomless,right?”Colinsaid,smiling,andJackwastoohungover—andsuddenlytoosingle—tositthereandlistentoColingetgooeyabouthissister.Hewasgladtheywerehappy,butthatdidn’tmeanhewantedtosoakthatshitupwhenhehadathrobbingtempleandanapartmenttomoveoutof.
“Hotcakejunkieforsure.”Jackgotupandwenttothebuffet,carefultokeephisheaddowntoavoidconversationswithcousinsandaunties.Therewerefartoomanyfamilymembersmillingabouttherestaurantforhiscomfort,sohegrabbedaplateandheadedstraightforOlivia.
“Icannotbelieve,”shesaid,somehowknowingitwashimwithoutturningherhead,“thatyou’rethislateandMomhasn’tsaidawordyet.IfI’dbeenthirtysecondslate,everyrelativewould’veheardaboutit.”
“True.”Itwasawell-knownfactthatJackwasthefavoritechildofNancyMarshall.
“Yousmelllikewhiskey,”shesaid,narrowinghereyesandfinallylookingathim.“Wow—andyoulooklikeyousleptinadumpster.Whatthehellhappenedtoyou?”
Jackraisedahandtohishair;didhelookthatbad?“Nothing.”
“Seriously,though,”shesaid,tiltingherheadalittle.“Whatdidhappentoyou?AfterVanessalosthershit,youkindofdisappeared.Where’dyougo?”
Hewouldn’thavetoldanyoneelse,buthe’dalwaysbeenabletobecompletelyhonestwithLivviewhenhescrewedup.“Gothammeredandhadasleepoverwiththebartender.”
Hermouthdroppedopen.“Youdidnot.”
Heshrugged.
Shelookedathimlikehe’djustdeclaredhimselfacheeseburger,andthenshetookhisplateandsetitbesidehersonthebuffettablebeforegrabbinghisarmandpullinghimtowardthebackoftherestaurant.
“Livvie—”
“Justcomeon.”
Sheledhimtoaspotrightbesidethekitchendoor,andwhentheystopped,sheblinkedupathimandsaid,“Jack,youwerereadytoproposetwelvehoursago.HowinGod’snamewereyouabletosleepwithabartender?”
“Doyoumean,like,themechanicsoftheact?”
Shegrowledandsaid,“No,ImeanthatIknowyouwereupsetaboutVanessalastnight.Isawyourfaceafteryoucamebackinfromtheparkinglot.”
Hedidn’twanttothinkaboutthat,dammit.“So?”
“Soarandomhookupisaterribleideathatisn’tgoingtohelpyourloneliness.”
“I’mnotlonely,forfuck’ssake.”
“Really.”Shecrossedherarmsandgavehimabullshitlook.“Youdidn’trusheverythingwithVanessabecauseyouweresadanddidn’twanttobealone?”
“Shutup,younosylittleshit,”hemuttered,givingintoasmilewhensherolledhereyesandpinchedhim.
“Listen,youtool,”shesaid,droppingherhandandlookingserious.“Webothknowyoulovedtheideaofarelationshipsomuchthatyouforcedit;youadmittedittomewhenyouweredrunkatBilly’sacoupleweeksago,remember?”
Hewishedhe’dneversharedthatlittlemorsel.
“Well,itsucksthewaythingswentdown,butIthinkthisisablessing,”shesaid,takingherphoneoutofherjeanspocketandlookingatthedisplay.“Nowyou’refreetofindsomeoneyouactuallyhavesomethingincommonwith.Someoneyouhavefunwith.”
Justtomesswithher,Jacksaid,“Well,Ihadalotoffunwiththebartenderlastnight.”
“Sparemethedetailsandletmegiveyouthelog-inforthedatingappforwhichyou’renowapaidsubscriber.”
“What?”Hegroanedandglaredathissister.“Whatdidyoudo?”
“Nothing,really.”Itwasherturntoshrugandsmile.“AfteryousaidwhatyousaidatBilly’s,Imight’vesetupanaccountforyouandpaidthefees,justincase.”
“Incase…?”
“IncaseyouandVanessacrashedandburned.”
Jacksighed.
“Insteadofmakingafussandpretendingtobemad,”shesaid,lookingpleasedwithherself,“justsay‘Thankyou,Liv.’?”
“Buttout,Liv,”hereplied.
“I’llbuttout,”shesaid,“assoonasyoulogin.”
Hallie
Aweeklater
“Youhavetobekidding.”ChuckstabbedoneoftheSwedishmeatballsonhisplateandgaveHalliealook.“Thiscouldnothaveactuallyhappened.”
“Whichpartdon’tyoubelieve?”Hallieaskedherbestfriendasshedippedoneofherfrenchfriesintoketchup.“Thebotchedproposalorthedrunkenhotelsex?”
“Morewater?”Thewaiterlookeddownather,andhercheeksgothotasherwordshoveredthere.Drunkenhotelsex.
“Um,no,thankyou.”
Chuckstartedlaughingandsquealedoutthewordshotelsex,whichmadethewaiterlaugh,too.Oncetheserverleft,Chucksaid,“Allofit.Imean,whataretheoddsthatyougotowork,andallofthathappenstoyou?”
Halliejammedafewfriesintohermouthandsaid,“I’mhavingtroublebelievingitmyself,andithappenedaweekago.”
“Sotheguywasattractive?”Chuckpoppedameatballintohismouth.“Goodunderthecovers?”
“Hewashotforsure.”HalliepicturedJack’sfaceandsaid,“Goodunderthecovers,againstthewall,intheelevator…”
“Remindmeagainwhyyou’recomplaining…?”
“I’mnotcomplaining.”HallietookasipofherDietPepsiandsaid,“I’mjustdisgustedwithmyselfforbeingahotmessshitshow.Wakingupatthefootofastranger’sbedwastheimpetusIneededtochange,andnowI’mgoingtoturnoveranewleaf.”
“Youroldleafwasn’tfine?”Chuckrolledhiseyesandsaid,“Becauseitseemedtotallyfinetome.”
“WhenBenandIbrokeup,everythingIstarteddoingwassupposedtobetemporary.ButI’mstilllivinglikeacollegestudent,Chuck.Ineedtogetarealapartmentwithoutaroommate,afreshhaircut,somenewclothes,perhapsameaningfulrelationship—”
“Oh,myGod,”heinterrupted,hiseyeshugeandhismouthfullofmeatyballbitesasithungwideopen,hisbeardandmustacheframingthatmouthwithorangefuzz.“Doesthismeanyou’refinallygonnadoit?”
Hallieinhaledthroughhernose,closedhereyes,andgaveanodofconfirmation
ChuckhadbeentryingtogetHallietogoonLooking4TheReal,thedatingappwherehe’dmetJamie(hisnowfiancée),sinceHallieandBenhadbrokenup.Hewasconvincedtheappwassomesortofmagicalmatchmaker,andhenevershutupaboutit.
Ever.
ChuckhadneverhadaseriousrelationshipbeforeJamie(whichHallieknewbecauseshe’dknownhimhisentirelife—hewasalsohersecondcousin).Hewashandsdownthemostuniquepersonshe’devermet,buthisinabilitytofitintoaconventionalcategoryhadalwaysworkedagainsthiminthedatingworld.
Chuckwasfunny,smart,andhandsome.Butinsteadofwatchingfootball,helikedDisneymovies.Insteadoflisteningtohotsingles,helistenedtoBroadwaycastrecordings.Themanlikedanimemorethanmosthumansdid,andHallieandChuckhadbeenknowntospendhourstextingaboutBravorealityTV.
Butameremonthafterjoiningthatstupidapp,he’dfoundhissoulmate.
Andanyonewho’deverseenthemtogetherhadnodoubtthatJamieandChuckweresoulmates.She,too,wasgorgeous,andJamielovedhisquirks,adoredanime,andquicklyjoinedChuckandHallie’srealityTVgroupchat.
Halliehadalwayssaidshe“wasn’tready”whenhebroughtitup,becausethemerethoughtofdatingafterBenmadehermildlynauseous,butnowshefeltalmostdesperate.Ithadoccurredtoherintheshowerthatmorningthatinadditiontoalltheotherwaysshewantedtojump-startherlife,shewantedlove.
Shedid.
Maybethatmadeherpathetic,butshesuddenlydidn’twanttobealoneanymore.
“CanIcallJamie?”Chuckpulledhisphoneoutofhispocket.“She’sgoingtoloseit—”
“No.”Hallieshookherhead.JamiewaslikeanovercaffeinatedversionofChuck,andtherewasnoreiningherinwhenshegotexcited.“NoJamie.”
“YouknowI’mgoingtocallherthesecondwe’redone,right?”
“Yes,butIcan’thandlebothofyouatonce.You’retoomuch.”
Hismouthslidintoabigstupidgrin.Hesaidaroundadreamysigh,“Weare,aren’twe?”
“Thatwasn’tnecessarilyacompliment.”
“Quitbeingagrouchytwat.”AnotherthingaboutChuck—hewatchedatonofBritishprogramming,sohethrewoutthet-wordallthetime.Hestoodanddraggedhischairaroundthetable,notstoppinguntilheploppeddownrightnexttoher.“Let’screateaprofilewhilewe’rehere,soallyouhavetodolaterissiponaglassofwineandscrollthroughtheavailablegents.”
“Youmakeitsoundlikeshopping,”shesaid,watchingashegrabbedherphone,punchedinthepasscode(030122),andimmediatelywenttoworkoncreatinganaccount.
“It’sbasicallythesamething,”hereplied,hiseyesonthephone.“Onlyinsteadoftheperfecthandbag,you’reshoppingfortheonepersonintheuniversewhowillmakeyoublissfullyhappyfortherestofyourlife.”
“Well,”Halliesaid,irrationallyexcitedunderneathherfeignedcynicism,“thatsoundsimpossiblysimple.”
“Shutupandletmedothisforyou.”
Bythetimethey’dfinisheddinner,Halliehadanactualdatingprofileonanactualdatingapp.Chuckhadcomeupwithkickassverbiagethatmadehersoundfunandsmart,andshewasgenuinelyexcitedtogohomeandstart“shopping.”
Onlywhenhepulledupinfrontofherdumpyapartmenttodropheroff,Chuckgaspedloudlyandsaid,“Holyshit.”
“What?”Hallielookedoutthewindowbutcouldn’tseeanyreasonforalarm.
Hesaid,“Ithinktherewasadelayorsomethingwhenyoutoldmeaboutyournewleaf,becauseyourwordsarejusthittingmerightnow.Didyousayyou’regoingtogetyourownplace—withoutRuthie?”
“Yes.”
Hetiltedhishead.“Haveyouthoughtabouthowyou’regoingtotellher?”
Hallienarrowedhereyesandsaid,“I’mjustgoingtotellher.We’rebothadults—it’llbefine.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”Hisvoicewashigherinpitch.
“Yes.”
“Really.”
“Ohmigawd,Chuck,quittryingtofreakmeout.Iwilltellher,shewillacceptitwithasmile,andallwillbewell.”
Henoddedandsaid,“Sureitwill.”ChapterTHREE
“Oh,thankGodyou’rehome!”Ruthie,Hallie’sroommate,stoodinthedoorwayasifshe’dbeenwaitingforHallietoreturn.Shewaswearinganapronthathadaman’srippedchestandspeedo-coveredjunkdrawnonit,andthecartoonedSpeedohadthewordsGotmeat?writtenacrossthecrotchincursive.“Ijustmadebananabread,andIwanttogetyouropinion.Butterornobutter?”
Halliemovedaroundherandwentinside.“Myopiniononbutterornobutter?”
Ruthiecackledatthat.“Youropiniononthebread.Doyouwantbutterornobutter?”
Halliewasstuffedanddidn’tparticularlycareforbananabreadatthemoment,butshedidn’twanttodisappointRuthie,either.Especiallywhenshewasabouttodisappointherbytellinghershewantedtomoveout.“Nobutter,please.”
Ruthieliterallyranovertothegalleykitchenandthrewopentherefrigeratordoor.Sheyelled,“YouknowhowIfeelaboutbutter,soI’mslatheringthiswholemotherfuckingloaf—asidefromyourslices—withalltheCountryCrockthelawwillallow.”
Halliedroppedherpurseonthefloorandslidoutofhershoes.“Ineverdoubtedthatyouwould.”
RuthieKimballwasanabsolutelyridiculousperson.ShewasthesisterofoneofHallie’scoworkersatthejewelrystore,whichwashowtheycametoberoommates,andHalliehadnevermetanyoneinherentirelifewhowassoshockinglyunpredictable.Shegenuinelyhadnoidea—ever—whatRuthiewasgoingtodo,say,orthink.
Ruthiedroveamotorcycleyear-round,whetheritwassunnyorsnowing.Ifthetempsweresubzero,Ruthiebundledupinherpuffycoatbeforeclimbingonher“hog”andproceedingtoridearoundtownasifitwerenormaltohaveiciclesformingunderneathyournose.
Andyes,sheactuallyreferredtoitasherhog.
Incessantly.
Ruthielovedbakingbuthatedcooking.Shehadpiercingseverywhere,butcriedlikeababyifsheneededtogetashot.ShetookcareofHallielikeanoldersister,bakingforherandironingherclothesifshelefttheminthedryerfortoolong,butshescream-foughtwithheractualsisteronaregularbasis,shoutingthingsintothephonelike“I’dlovetorunyouoverwithmyhogbutyourstupidfuckingasswouldprobablyfuckupmysuspension.”
Beforethrowingthephoneoffthebalcony.
Somehowthephonewasneverbrokenwhensheretrievedit.Softgrass,Halliesupposed.
Ruthiewasthin,ofaverageheight,andkeptherheadcompletelyshavedbecauseshefoundhairtobe“sodamndumb.”Shehadhugeblueeyesandapixieface—likeArielfromTheLittleMermaid—andshebelongedtoasuper-secretfightingclubthatleftherbruisedmoreoftenthannot.
Lastyear,HalliehadbrieflyworriedthatsomeonewashurtingRuthieandtheclubwasanexcuse,butwhenshefinallygotthenervetobroachthesubject,RuthiebrokedownintearsbecauseshewassotouchedbyHallie’sconcern.
AndthensheshowedHallieaboutahundredpicsofbruised,bloodywomenteeingoffoneachotherinwhatlookedtobeabasement.
“Hereitis.”RuthiesprintedoutofthekitchenandshovedaplateintoHallie’shands.“Mygrandma’srecipe,butwithalittleRuthiemagic.”
“YouknowIcan’tdoedibles,”Halliesaid,staringdownatthehunkofbread.“Theydorandomtestingatmydayjob.”
“Drug-free,Ipromise.Themagicisactuallytheadditionofadropofvinegar.”
Halliesniffedthebreadbeforetakingabite.“Mmmm,”shemoaned,meaningit.“Thatissogood!”
“Yay!”Ruthieturnedacartwheel,knockingoverthefloorlamp.Onceshehaditbackup,shesaid,“Listen,Igottagotakeanap.ImetthisgirlnamedBawndawhodoessynchronizedswimming,andshesaidshe’llteachmeifIdon’tmindworkingovernights.”
“So…thisisajob?”
“Didyounotlistentome?”Ruthiesmiledandshookherhead,likeHalliewastheridiculousone.“Iwillbeswimminginasynchronizedfashionovernighttonight—notworking—soImustsleepnow.Night-night,Halliebaba.”
“G’night,”Halliesaid,glancingatthemicrowaveinthekitchenthatshoweditwassevenp.m.
Somuchfordiscussingmoving.
???
Chuck:So?Howgoesit?
HalliepickedupherglassandfinishedthelastswallowofRieslingandrespondedwithsofarsogood.She’dbeensittinginbedwithherphonesinceeight,justscrollingthroughavailablemen.She’dheardthejokesaboutdudesbeingterribleatmakinggoodprofiles,anditwasactuallynotalie.Ifwhatshe’dlookedatsofarwasindicativeofthemalespeciesasawhole,therewasastrongbeliefamongstthemthatapictureofamanwithafishwasthepinnacleofprofilephotos.
Chuck:Jamiewantstoknowhowswipe-happyyouare.
Halliesnortedandresponded:Ihaven’tswipedonanyoneyet.I’mjustwindowshopping
Halliewassurprisedbytheeyecandy.Shesimplyhadn’texpectedtheretobesomanyrelativelyattractivespecimens.Butshecouldalreadyseethecross-referencingproblems.
Hallie:Oneguyiscute,buthe’swearingabackwardhatandholdingabeerineverysinglepicture.
Oneguyhasaniceface,butthefactthathethinksapictureofhimholdinguptheheadofadeerhekilledbytheantlersisagoodprofilephototellsmewewouldn’tbesoulmates.
HallierolledhereyeswhenChuckrespondedwithJustgoforit,youpussy!
Shewasgoingtotakehertime,andmaybenotevenswipeonanyoneforafewdays.Therewasnohurry—
“Holyshit!”Halliesquintedandclickedontheprofile.Itsurelookedalotliketheweddingdude…
JackMarshall.
Yep.
DearGod,itwashim.
Thephotowasfromthewedding—she’drememberhiminthattuxforever—soithadtohavebeentakenthenightsheendedupsheet-wrestlingwithhim.Hewassmilingandholdingupaglassofchampagne—givinghistoast—andman,hewasastunninglybeautifulhuman.
Whoa,hewasalandscapearchitect.Thatsounded…interesting.
Forsomereason,shewassurprisedtoseeaguylikehimontheapp.He’dseemedtooconfidentanddashingtobesingle.
Butthensheremembered.
HolyGod,themanhadboughtanengagementringandplannedtoproposeaweekago.Aweekagohe’dbeeninloveenoughtopopthequestion,andnowhewasalreadyontheapplookingforladies?
Clearlytherewassomethingmajorlywrongwithhim.
Shedidn’tknowwhatpossessedher,butshewantedtomesswithhim.Hallieclickedonthemessageboxandstartedtyping.
Hey,Jack,it’sHallie,thebartenderfromyoursister’swedding!Whyhaven’tyoucalled?Ireallythoughtweconnectedandyouweregoingtocall,but…didyoulosemynumber?
Shesuckedinabreathwhenshesawtheconversationbubbles.Holycrap,hewasresponding!Hewasprobablyfreakingoutatthethoughtofathrowawayone-nightercomingforhim,andsomethingaboutthatideamadehercackle.
Afterafewminutes,amessagepoppedup:
Jack:Heythere,Hallie.Ihadalotoffunwithyouafterthewedding,andyouseemlikeacoolperson
Oh,dearGod,hethoughtshewasserious.Shetyped:
God,Jack,relax.I’mjustmessingwithyou.IDONOTWANTTODATEYOU.
Jack:Uhwowok.
Hallie:IsawyourprofilewhenIwasshoppingforsoulmatesandthoughtitwouldbefuntogiveyouaheartattack.InevergaveyoumynumberandIdidn’texpectyoutocall.
Conversationbubblespoppedupandwentaway.Poppedupandwentaway.Finallyhemessaged:So…you’reonherelegitimatelylookingforlove?
Hallie:Pathetic,right?Butdon’tworry,you’renotonmylist.
Jack:Firstofall,I’mdoingthesamething,soI’mgoingtogowithno,that’snotpathetic.Secondofall,Ican’tbelieveI’mnotonyourlistafterouramazingnighttogether.
Halliegroanedandlookedupfromthephone;shecouldn’tbelievehebroughtitup.Butshealsocouldn’tholdinthesmileasshetyped:Wewerejustsohammered—it’sallkindofablur.
Jack:But…?
Sheletoutalittlesqueakingsoundandkickedherfeetagainstthemattress,unabletobelievetheywerehavingthisconversation.
Hallie:Butwhat?Allinall,itwasafinetime.
Therealitywasthatthenighthadbeenred-hotandsogood,butshe’dalsobeencrazydrunk,sothatmeantnothing.KermittheFrogmight’vebeenabletoscratchheritchifenoughwhiskeyhadbeeninvolved.
Jack:Fine??ComeON,Hal.
Forsomereason,hisusageofhershortenednamedidsomethingtoherstomachasshemessaged:Nottalkingaboutthis.Iremembernothing.
Thatwasabald-facedlie.Sherememberedabsolutelyeveryminuteofthatnight,fromtheveryfirstkissinthekitchen,toherhandontheelevatorstopbutton,rightdowntothefeelofhiscallusedpalmsastheygrippedherhipsinthatking-sizedhotelbed.
Jack:Youdon’twanttohearabouttheadorablenoiseyoumakewhenyou…
Hallie:PLEASEGODNO
Jack:Iwasgoingtosaysneeze.ButIdohaveyourbraifyoueverwantitback.
Hallie:Wherewasit??
Jack:Underneathme.Itwastherethewholetimeyouwerebelly-crawlingaroundthebed.
Halliedidscreamthen,butquietlyenoughsoRuthiedidn’tcomerunninginwithoneofherfencingfoils.
Hallie:Youwerefakesleeping?!
Jack:Itwasobviousyouwantedthequickexit,sowhowasItogetintheway?
Shewaslaughingwhensherespondedwith:Well,um,thankyou,Iguess…?
Jack:You’rewelcome,itwouldseem…?
Halliereadjustedherpillowsandgotcomfortable.Sotellmesomething,JackMarshall.Whatisityou’relookingforonthisapp?TRUTHONLY.
Shewasn’tactuallyexpectingthetruth,sohisanswershockedthehelloutofher.
Jack:Okay,truthonly.ThetruthisthatIhavealotoffriendsandagoodjob,andIdateoftenenough,butIwantsomeoneimportantinmylife.{insertyourlaughingatthisdesperateguyhere}
Halliewould’vebeentouchedbythesentimentifitweren’tforthefactthathe’dhadsomeoneimportantinhislifelastweek.Talkaboutadesperateneedtobeinarelationship.Still…
Hallie:Truthonly:I’mlookingforprettymuchthesamething.Shedidn’twanthimtomisunderstand,sosheadded:Onlynotwithyou,sodon’tgetallsquirmyagain.
Jack:Restassured,Iwillnotsquirm.
Hallie:Well,goodluckonfindingyourperfectwoman.
Jack:Goodlucktoyou,aswell.Yourbraishangingfrommyrearviewmirrorifyouchangeyourmindandwantitback.
Hallie:Sicko.
Jack:OrIcouldkeepitasatrophy.
Hallie:Y’know,youseemtobealittleobsessedwiththatnight.
Jack:I’malittleobsessedwiththatelevator.
Hallie’sstomachdroppedandshemanagedtotypeGoodnightandgoodluck,Sickobeforeexitingtheappandturningoffherlight.Sheneededsleep,andalotofit.
Jack
Jackstaredatthephone,wearingastupidsmile.
Heshutdownhiscomputer—enoughworkforonenight—andwentintothekitchen.Therewerestillboxesscatteredhereandthere,butthenewplacewasactuallystartingtolookgood.Heopenedthefridgeandgrabbedthemilk,hismindstillonHallieashepouredaglass.
Yes,shewashot,andhestillcouldn’tstophimselffromreplayingmomentsofthatnightoverandoveragaininhishead,butitalsoseemedlikeshewasgenuinelyfun.
It’dbeentoolongsincehe’dhadactualfun.
Hewasn’tinterestedindatingsomeonehe’dhadaone-nightstandwith,andshe’dmadeitabundantlyclearshewasn’tinterestedinhim,butinaweirdway,hewasgladshe’ddecidedtomesswithhimontheapp.
She’dremindedhimthatfunwasathing.
Heputthemilkbackinthefridgeandshutthedoor,onlytoseeMr.Meowgistaringupathimwiththoseannoyinglyadorablekitteneyes.ItwasdaythreeofJackbeingacatowner,andthejurywasstilloutonwhetherhe’dmadeaterriblemistake.
“Thisisforme,buddy,”hesaid,pickingupthecup.“Notyou.”
It—he—meowed,andthattinylittlesqueakmadethecatseemevensmallerandmorehelplessthanheactuallywas.Jackrolledhiseyes,shookhishead,andsettheglassofmilkonthefloor.
“Here,youlittlebeggar,”hesaid,crouchingdowntopettheirritatingfluffballashestarteddrinkinghismilk.“Butthisisthelasttime.”
Meowgistartedpurring,asiftosay,SureitisChapterFOURHallie
“Whatdoyouthink?”
“Iloveit.”Hallielookedinthemirrorandsmiled.She’dhadthestylisttakeofffourinchesandgivehersomecolor,sonowshehadashoulder-lengthbobwithsomesubtlehighlights,andshe’dalsogottenherbrowsdone.Betweenthatandtheclothesshe’dboughtonlinethedaybefore,shereallydidfeellikesomesortof“new”HalliePiper.
Shewasmakingithappen,dammit.
She’dtakenthedayofftofixherlife,andshewassogladshehad.
First,she’dputinhernoticeatbothofherpart-timejobs.Itwasmind-boggling,allthetimeshewasgoingtohavefor…well,prettymuchanything,nowthatshewouldonlybeworkingfromninetofive.
Afterthat,she’dspentthemorninglookingatapartments,andanhourago,she’dputdownasecuritydepositonanewplace.Shehadn’tmeantto—shehadn’teventoldRuthieshewasmovingyet,anditwasonlythefirstdayofthehunt—butthelastbuildingshe’dvisitedhadbeentooperfecttopassup.Itwasdowntown,aformer-hospital-turned-modern-apartment-complex,anditwasamazing.Cityviews,rooftoppatio,indoorpool,sportsbarinthelobby;shewasobsessed.Itwasalittlenorthofherpricepoint,andwaaaaaysmallerthantheothersshe’dlookedat,butshelikeditenoughtomakeitwork.
Itwasjustsogrown-up.
Andasshewalkedtohercarafterleavingthesalon,shefoundthatshecouldn’tstopsmiling.Everythingwasfallingintoplace,anditmadeherfeelgood.Shewasn’tahotmessshitshowanylonger.
Sheevenhadadatethatnight.
She’dbeenmessagingKylethroughtheappforacoupleofdays,andshewasn’tsurehowshefeltabouttheirimpendingevening.Hehadajobandseemedlikeaniceperson,sothatwasgood.Buttheirexchangeswerepretty…matter-of-fact.Yes,hecouldbeamusing,buttheydidn’thavethekindofbanterthatmadeHalwanttolockherselfinherbedroomandchatallnight,either.
Yet.
Shekeptremindingherselfofthatfact—theydidn’thaveityet.Hopefullytheywouldmeetupfordinner,shareafewlaughs,haveagreattime,andproceedtobanterthehelloutofeachotherfromthatnightforward.
Agirlcoulddream,right?
WhenHalliegothome,shewasrelievedthatRuthiewasout.Herroommatehadleftanoteonthedoor—WENTFLISPINGINGD.BEBACKTOMORROW—soshewasalonefortheentirenight.
HallierarelyunderstoodRuthie’snotes.Shehadnoideawhatflispingwas,butitprobablyinvolvedbeingupsidedownwithstrangersorsomething.AndGD—thatwasanybody’sguess.
Sheturnedonsomemusic,openedabottleofLuckyBucket,andstartedputtingonmakeup.ShehadtwohoursbeforeshewasmeetingKyle,whichsheconsideredtobetheperfectamountoftimetopickanoutfit,dohermakeup,andmaybecatchatinybuzztowardoffthosefirst-date-in-eighty-five-yearsnerves.
Shewasinhercloset,rummagingfortheblackpantsthatmadeherbuttlookamazing,whenherphonebuzzed.ShelookeddownatitandsawshehadanotificationfromLooking4TheReal.SheclickedontheappandrealizedshewasactuallyhopingthatitwasKylecanceling.
Thenotificationstamp(aheart,ofcourse)wasonherinbox.Hallieclickedonitandimmediatelyfeltdisappointmentwhenshedidn’tseeKyle’sname.
ThemessagewasfromJack,theweddingguy.
Jack:Hey,TinyBartender.How’sthehuntgoing?
Halliesatdownonhershoeshelf.Yousureknowhowtomakeitsoundromantic.
Jack:Sorry.Letmestartover.AHEM.HaveyoufoundamanviayourSoulmate-Home-Shopping-Networkapp?
Hallie:Itisexactlylikethat,isn’tit?
Jack:Onlyinsteadofbeautifuljewelsforjust14.99,you’remullingoverwhethertoproceedtocheckoutwithDudeWhoCaughtFish.
Halliesnorted.Ikindofwanttojustsithereandmockourdatinglivesrightnow,butIactuallyhaveadatetonight.
Jack:Thehellyousay.
Hallie:IclickedonthefirstguyIcouldfindwithoutadeadcreatureinhisprofilepic(whodidn’tlooklikeanogre)andheseemsnice.
Jack:Wow.Heseemsnice?Isthatwherethebarisset—atnice?
Hallie:What’swrongwithnice?
Jack:Nothing.Imean,I’msureyoucannotLIVEwithoutgettingrailedbya“nice”guy.
Hallie:Eww,canyouexplaintheparticularsofwhatgetting“railed”entails?Itsounds…torturous.Painful.Ithinkyoumightbedoingitwrong.
Jack:HAL.
Shestartedgigglinginherclosetandtexted:I’mmockingtheterminologyandTHATISALL
Halliesawthepantshangingattheendoftherack,soshegrabbedthemandwentbackintoherroom.
Jack:Iwillconcedethatgettingrailedisashitphrase.MayItossoutotheroptionsforyourapproval?IalsohaveadatethiseveningandwanttomakesureIdon’tsaysomethingoffensive.
Hallie:WAIT.YOUHAVEADATE?Wasitthroughtheapp?Tellmeeverything.
Jack:Settleyourassdown.Yes,throughtheapp.Accordingtoherprofile,she’sblond,worksinmarketing,andenjoysrunningandgettingrailed.
Hallie:Haha.Areyouexcited?
Jack:Honestly?Notatall.Sheseemedcoolwhenwetalked,butthere’ssomethingnerve-rackingaboutmeetingupwithsomeoneforthefirsttimewhenthere’salreadyalove/datingexpectation.Chemistryisthethingthatmattersmostonafirstdate,andit’ssohardforittobetherenaturallywheneverythingfeelsformulaic.
Hehititonthehead,whyshefeltlikeshewasgettingreadyforajobinterview.Halliedroppedhersweatpantsandsteppedintothegoodpants.
Hallie:HARDfeelthat.Hopefullywewillbothhavedelightfulevenings.
Jack:YourlipstoDitka’sears.Also,whatabout“bonked”?
Hallie:Firstofall,DitkaisnotGod.Andnope,that’snotit.
Jack:Blasphemy.Howabout“gettinghammered.”
Hallie:Soundslikeahomerepair.
Jack:Gettingmypartsjostled?
Hallie:Areyougoinginforyourannualcheckuporhavingsex?
Jack:I’vegotit.“Playingalittleinandout”?
Hallie:Youareachild,atinylittlemanboywhowillnotbegettingbonked,hammered,jostled,orrailedifyousayanyofthosethings.
Jack:Whatabout“makinglove”?
Hallie:Vomitedinmymouthalittle.
Jack:FINE.I’mjusttakingheroutforfoodandconversationnow.Youruinedeverything.
Hallie:Well,goodluck,Jack.
Jack:Goodlucktoyou,TinyBartender.
Hallie:I’mnotabartenderanymore,FYI.
Jack:You’llalwaysbeMYtinybartender,butwhathappened?Didtheyfireyouforgettingrailedbythebestmanataweddingyouworked?
Hallie:IgnoringyourdipshitterytosaythatIquitbothofmypart-timejobstobeafull-timegrown-up.
Jack:SoifIwanttoreturnthatengagementring…
Hallie:You’llhavetobothersomeoneelse.
Jack:Toobad.You’requicklybecomingmyfavoritepersontobother.
Hallie:Later,Jack.
Jack:Later,TB.
Hallie:Youdoseewhythatcannotbeathing,right?
Jack:Myapologiesforcallingyouaninfectiousdisease.
Hallie:Ihopeyouneverhavetosaythattomeagain.
Jack:Youshouldbesolucky.
Jack
“Whyareyousmilinglikeajackass?”Colinasked.
Jacklookedupfromhisphone,andColinwaswatchinghimlikehe’dlosthisdamnmind.Hereplied,“Whyareyoustaringatmelikeacreep?”
Colinflippedhimoff,andJacksetdownhisphoneandsaid,“Yourweddingbartenderisfuckinghilarious,ifyoumustknow.”
“Soyoutwoaretalkingnow?”Colinasked,pickingupawingandraisinghiseyestothewallofTVsabovethebar.
“Notlikethat.”JackfinishedoffhiswingswhilehetoldColinabouttheappandhisconversationswithHallie.“Anddon’tmentionittoLiv.Idon’twanthertothinkit’sathingwhenitisn’t.”
Colingrinned.“Yoursisterdoesn’thavealotgoingonrightnow,sothisreallywouldgethermindfiring.”
“PoorLivvie,”Jacksaid,laughing.
Themorningaftertheirwedding,theUberdriverwhowassupposedtotakeColinandOliviatotheairportaccidentallyranoverherfoot.Thankfully,hejustgothertoes,sonosurgerywasrequired,buttheyhadtoreschedulethehoneymoonbecauseshecouldn’tevenwearashoeoverherswollen,brokentoes.
“She’sokay,”Colinsaid,stillwearingthedumbsmilehealwaysworewhenhetalkedaboutLiv.“ItookhertoBarnes&Noble,soshe’sinbookishheavenatthemoment.”
“Sheprobablydoesn’tevencareaboutthefootanymore.”
“Right?”Colinwipedhisfingersonanapkinandreachedforhisbeer.“Isthereanythingyoudowantmetoreporttoheraboutthedatingapp,bytheway?”
“Oh,shit,whattimeisit?”Jacklookeddownathiswatchandmuttered,“Yeah,youcanreporttoherthatIhaveadatetonight.”
Heraisedhishandandgesturedtothewaitressthathewasreadytosettlehistab.
“Youjustinhaledtwelvewingsandnowyou’regoingtodinner?”Colinlookedequalpartsimpressedanddisgusted.“Seriously?”
“Yup.”Jackpickeduphisglassandfinishedthelastofhisicedtea.Ifhewerebeingtotallyhonest,hewasn’tlookingforwardtothedate.Atall.HestillfeltlikeshitaboutVanessa,butnotbecausehewasheartbrokenaboutthebreakuporhesitanttomoveon.
No,Jackfeltlikeagoddamnfool.
IfhewassadaboutVanessa,itwasbecausehewassadtolearnhewaswhollylackinginself-awarenessandgoodjudgment.Hewassadtodiscoverhewastoodesperatetoseethingsclearly.
BecausehowhadheeverthoughtheandVanwereagoodidea?
Shewasbeautiful,andadecentperson(whenshewasn’tbeingjealous),buttheywerewildlydifferent.Helikedeatingwingsandwatchingfootball,whereasshelikedpointingouthowdisgustingwingswereandhowpointlessfootballwas.He’dgrownupwiththreedogsandwasananimallover,butVanessathoughtdogshadrevoltingbreathandhadrepeatedlytoldhimthatshewouldnever,evergetone.
She’devensaidewwwwwhenhisdad’sdoglickedherhand.
Which,honestly,should’vebeentheworld’sbiggestredflag,right?Whatkindofamonstersays“ewwww”inregardtoMaurythePug?
YetinsteadofpartingwayswithMissDogHater,he’dpurchasedadiamondringforher.He’dignoredeverythingthatshould’vebeenobvioustohiminhisrushfor…hell,hedidn’tevenknowwhathe’dbeenrushingtoward,exactly.
Butwhatifhemadethatsortofmistakeagain?Washesopatheticthathe’dblindlylatchontoanythingprettyandinterested?
Heforcedhisneurosesoutofhismindandsaid,“ThiswayIcanordersomethinghealthyandlookresponsible.”
“Youhavegottobekidding.”
“Nope.”Jackpulledouthiswalletandtossedatwentyonthetable.“I’magenius.”
“Ithinkyoumeanmoron.”Colinpickedupanotherwingandgavehimalook.“Havefunonyourdate,moron.”ChapterFIVEHallie
HalliewalkedintoCharlie’s,andoncehereyesadjustedtothedarknessoftherestaurant,shelookedaroundforKyle.Itwastough,sinceshe’donlyseenthepicturesonhisprofile,butmaybesinceshewastenminutesearly,hewasn’tthere—
“Hallie.”
Sheturnedaroundatthesoundofthevoice,andtherehewas.
Thankfully,hisfacelookedthesameashisphotoandhewasalittletallerthanher.Overall,herfirstimpressionwasthathewashandsomeandhadanicesmile.Hewaswearingabutton-downandjeans,andshehadnocomplaints.
“Hey,Kyle.”Shesmiledandputherhandbagunderherarm.“Nicetofinallymeetyou.Youknow,um,inperson.”
“Same,same,”hesaid,gesturingwithhisarmtowardthediningarea.“Ialreadyhaveatableoverthere.”
“Perfect,”shesaid,andfollowedhimovertothespot.
Maybeitwouldn’tbesobad,shethought.Itwasjusttwopeopleeatingfoodtogetherandtalking;shelikedbothofthosethings,right?Andshefeltprettyconfidentthatnight,withhernewhair,cutecashmeresweater,andfull-onmakeup,soshewasgoingtothrowherselfintothemagicandseewhattranspired.
Shesatdownacrossfromhimandpickedupamenu,tryingtorememberwhattwostrangerstalkedaboutonafirstdate.
“I’venevereatenhere,soyoucan’tblamemeifit’sshit,”Kylesaid,givingherahalfsmile.“Smellsgood,though.”
Hallienodded.“Itdoes.”
Sheopenedhermenuandstartedreading,tryingtothinkofsomethingtosay.“Wow,everythinglookssogood.”
“Holyshit,twentybucksforaburger?”Kyleshookhisheadindisgustandsaid,“Thatbetterbeagold-platedpatty,amIright?”
Shesmiledandnodded,suddenlynervousaboutwhatsheshouldorder.Iftwentywastoomuchforaburger,wouldhethinktwelvewastoomuchforasalad?“Right,”shesaid.
“It’safirstdate,though,soyouorderwhateveryouwant,Hal,”hesaid,smiling.
“Okay.”Shelaughed,feelingveryuncomfortableallofasudden,bothwithhisattentiontopricingandhiscomfortindroppingthesecondsyllableofhername.Shewantedtotellhimthatshe’dhappilypayforhermeal,becauseshetotallywould,butshefeltlikehemightbethekindofguywhowouldtakethatasaninsult.
“Nolobster,though,”heteased,andshe’dneverbeensostressedoutbythedecisionofwhattoorderatarestaurantinallherlife.
“Gotit.”
Whenthewaitercameover,Hallieendeduporderingasidesaladandfrenchfries,justtobedoublysureitwasn’ttooexpensive.
Aftertheyhandedofftheirmenustothewaiterbeforehewalkedaway,HallietookasipofthewineKylehadorderedbeforeshearrived.WhensheglancedatKyle,hewasgivingherafunnygrin.
“What?”sheasked,smiling.
Heshookhisheadandsaid,“That’sallyou’regoingtoeat?Iswear,youwomenandyourdiets.”
Yes,becausethefrenchfrydietisalltherage,Kyle.Shejustsaid,“Itjustsoundedreallygoodtome.”
“Okay,hon,”herepliedteasingly,andshereachedforherwineyetagain.
Hestartedtellingherabouthisjob,anditwasprettyinteresting.HewasadieselmechanicwhoworkedonbigCaterpillarmachines,anditsoundedreallycool.Therewassomethingsuperattractiveabouthimashetalkedabouttoolsandmechanicalthings.
Madehimseemincrediblycapable.
“Sowhatdoyoudo,Hal?”Hegrabbedarollfromthebasketatthecenterofthetable,toreitopen,anddippedhisknifeinthesilverbowlofbutter.“Somethinginfinance,right?”
Shenodded,grabbedaroll,andsaid,“I’mataxaccountantfor—”
“Holycrap,thisisfate!”Kylesmearedbutteronhisbun.“I’vebeenlookingforanewtaxguy—minemovedtoFrisco—andboom,hereyouare.”
Iamtaxguy?shethought.
Hetookabiteofhisroll,smiled,andsaid,“Howmuchdoyoucharge?”
Hallietoreoffapieceofherroll.“Idon’tactuallydopeople’staxes;I’macorporatetaxaccountantatHCCCorporation.”
Hiseyebrowswentdown.“Butyouknowhowtodothem,right?”
“Well,yeah—”shestarted,butheinterruptedher.
“Soit’llbesomenicesidemoneyforyou.”
Shedidn’twanttoseemlikeajerk,butshehadnointerestindoinganyone’staxes.“Yeah,butIdon’treallyneedanysidemoneyrightnow.”
Hesnortedandsaid,“Whatareyou,rich?”
Okay,thatcondescendingtonewasnotnecessary,andshewasoverit.
“Richenoughtonothavetodomyblinddate’staxes,”sheblurtedout,regrettingitimmediatelywhen,insteadoflaughing,hisfacegotreally,reallyred.
Needlesstosay,Halliewasunlockingherfrontdooratninethirtyp.m.Which,tobefair,didn’tbotherherallthatmuch.She’dbecomequitethehomebodysincesheandBenhadbrokenup,soNetflixandflannelpantswerekindofherjam.
Anhourlater,whenshewasknuckle-deepinabowlofpopcorn,shegotamessagenotificationfromtheapp.Pleasedon’tletitbeKyle,shethought,imagininghimreachingouttoseeifshe’dreconsideredheraggressiveopinionsSheclickedintohermessagesandwashappytoseeitwasJack,notKyle.
Jack:So…?Didyoufindaloveconnection?
Hallie:Hardly.IfoundamanwhogotmadwhenIsaidIwouldn’tdohistaxes.
Jack:Oof.Sorry,TB.
Hallie:Didn’tItellyounottocallmethat?
Jack:Yeah,butIcan’thelpmyself.
Hallie:Sowhataboutyou?Howwasyourdate?
Jack:Itwasn’tadate,itwasaninterview.
Hallie:Sheaskedalotofquestions?
Jack:NOPE.Iaskedherquestions—sowhatdoyoudo,didyougrowuphere,etc.etc.—andsheansweredeachquestion.Then…shedidn’tsayanotherwordbutjuststaredatmeorherfood.
Hallie:Soitwaslikeyouwereinterviewingherandshewas…?
Jack:Absolutelyuninterestedingettingtoknowme.
Hallie:Youdidn’tsayanythingaboutgettingyourpartsjiggled,didyou?
Jack:Itwasjostled,andno.MaybeIshouldhave.
Hallie:DidsheseemlikesoulmatematerialifsheHADfeltlikeengagingwithyourjunk-jostledself?
Jack:Notatall.
Hallietookasipofhersodaandsetitonthecoffeetable.IguessI’mmakinganassumption.Maybeyouaren’tlookingforasoulmate.
Jack:No,Iam.
Halliethoughtofhisex—whatwasherstupidname?Cam?Stran?
Van!Vanessa.Okay,soitwasn’treallyastupidname,butHalstillcouldn’tgetoverthefactthathe’dchosenher.Toproposeto.HeclearlyhadI-can’t-be-singleissues.Shedidn’treallyknowhim,otherthanthefactthathewasjustassarcasticasshewas,butshestillhadtoask.
Hallie:Okay,don’tbepissed,becauseI’mnotjudging,but,like,youJUSTbrokeupwithyourveryseriousgirlfriend.Howcanyoualreadybelookingforasoulmate?
Jack:It’safairquestion,soI’llallowit.
Hallie:Gee,thanks.
Jack:Iknowitsoundsweird,butIthinkVanessaandIwerejustgoingthroughthemotions.Like,itfeltseriousontheoutside,butitkindofwasn’tatallwhenitcamedowntowhatmatters.Doesthatmakeanysenseatall?
Shewassurprisedthatitsortofdid.
Jack:Wemadeallthebigmoves—livingtogether,near-engagement—butweweren’tespeciallycloseinourday-to-daylives.
HallieputherfeetuponthecoffeetableandwonderedifBenwouldsaythatabouttheirformerrelationship.Shetexted:Wereyoulikeroommateswhoslepttogether?
Sadly,thatwassomethingBenhadsaidtoherduringhisbreak-upspeech.
Jack:Thatisdepressinglyaccurate.
Yes—totallydepressing.
Jack:ButregardlessoftheVanessamistake,I’msurprisinglyseriousaboutwantingtofindsomeone.
HallierealizedasshereadhistextthatheropiniononJackhadalreadychanged.Shestillthoughthewasmovingalittlequickly,butthewayhe’dexplainedthesituationwithhisexmadeherthinkthatperhapshejustknewhimselfwellenoughtoknowwhathewaslookingfornow
Shetexted:Formorethanjustajostling?
Jack:Forjostling’n’forever.Iwanttofindthepersonwhomakesmecomplete.
Hallie:Peoplereallydon’tusethecountry’n’enoughanymore.
Jack:Weshouldgiveitarenaissance.
Hallie:Wereallyshould.Hallie’n’Jackshouldbringitback.
Jack:Whataboutyoursoulmategoals?IfaLooking4TheRealgenieappearedandgrantedyourdatingwish,whatexactlywouldyouwanttofind?
Hallie:Someonewholikesmemorethaneveryoneelseintheworld.
Jack:Likes?Isn’tthatbaralittlelow?
Hallie:Well,ofcourselove,butIwanttospendforeverwithmyfavoritehuman.ThepersonwhocracksmeupandgetsmeandlikesthewayIthink.Romanceisnice,butIwanttobewiththeonepersonwhereifsomethinghappenstome—funny,awful,wonderful—I’mdyingtotellthem.
Jack:Itsoundslikeyouwanttomarryyourbestfriend.
Hallie:Iliterallydo.
Jack:Goodluck.That’satallorder.
Hallie:Notallerthanyour“youcompleteme”dreamlady.
Jack:Somehow,mineseemsmorepossible.
Hallie:Agreetodisagree.
Jack:Caretomakeawager?
Halliesetdownthenow-emptybowlofpopcornandreachedforthethrowonthecouch’sarm.Onwhat?
Jack:Whofindsitfirst.
Hallie:Doesn’tthatseemrathercavalier,tomakeawageronsomethingwe’vebothagreedisimportanttous?
Jack:Idon’tthinkso,becauseit’snotlikeabetisgoingtomakemebehavedifferentlytowin.Istillwantthesamething.IjustwinaprizeifIfinditfirst.
Hallie:Ooh—IDOlikeprizes.
Jack:Right?IalreadyhatethisappandblinddatesandIreallydon’tfeellikecontinuing.Butifthere’safunincentive,andI’minitwithsomeoneelse,itmightnotfeellikeanendless,depressingchore.
Well,Hallieabsolutelyunderstoodthat.Shewasalreadytiredofdating,andshe’donlybeenononedatesofar.Hallie:Ithastobesomethingreallygood,then.
Jack:Duh.
Halliestartedthinkingaboutwhatshewantedthathemightbeabletoprovideforher.Well,whatservicescanyouoffer?
Jack:(Ahem—elevator)Whatexactlydoyoumean?
Hallierolledhereyesbutlaughed.Hehadawayofteasingheraboutthehotelnightthatwasfunnybutdidn’tfeellikehewastryingtogetherbackintobed.
Hallie:Example:I’mataxaccountant.IcandoyourtaxesifIlose.AndmysisterisengagedtoaguywhoownsaToyotadealership,soifyou’relookingforanewCorolla,Icangetyouthefriendsandfamilyprice.Whatcanyoudoforme?
Jack:PleaseshootmeinthefaceifI’meverlookingforaCorolla,andtaxesareforsuckers.RegardingwhatIcanprovide,I’malandscapearchitect,soIcandesignabackyardoasisthatwillmakeyouneverwanttoleavethehouse.
Hallie:Soundswonderful,butIliveinanapartment.
Jack:IhaveaParisianhoneymoonthatI’vealreadypaidfor.
Halliecouldseebythebubblesthathewasstilltyping,butshedidn’tcare.
Hallie:That’sit.Iwantit.IgetParisifIwin.
Man,shehadn’tbeenonavacationsinceshelivedathomeandherfamilywentonatriptoMilwaukee.Nothingintheworldsoundedbettertoherthantravelingabroad.
Jack:Okay,um,Iwasn’tdone(didyounotseethetextbubbles,Piper?).IwassayingthatIhaveaParisianhoneymoonthatIboughtforVanessa,butnowthatI’mnotgoing,Iwillgiveyoumyairlinepoints.
Hallie:AfterthinkingthewinwouldgetmeatriptoParis,airlinepointssoundslikewinningacoupon.Keepthinking.
Jack:IhaveaLOTofpoints.Morethanenoughforyoutoflywhereveryouwantforfree.
Hallie:Stillfeelslikealoss,butIwilltakeit.Them.Iwilltakeyourpoints.
Jack:Sowhatcanyougiveme?Wedon’thaveadealuntilyougivemesomethinggood.
Halliestartedthinking,rackingherbrainforsomethingshehadthatmightbevaluabletohim.Shelookedaroundhercrappylivingroom—maybehewantedanAnselAdamscoffeetablebook?—andjustsawcrap.
Hallie:Doyoulikebaseball?
Jack:Yes.
Hallie:WhenmyexandIbrokeup(hewasveryawfulsodon’tjudgeme)Itookanautographedbaseballofhisjusttomakehimsad.
Jack:Youfiend.Idon’treallygetintosignedmemorabilia,butwhosignedit?
Hallie:TheCubs.
Jack:Asin,Chicago?AndwhichCubsplayers?
Hallie:AllofthemthatwereontheWorldSeriesteam.
Jack:Holdplease.Ineedaminute.
Hallietookherbowlandcanintothekitchen,settheminthesink,andwentintoherroom.Forsomereason,shealwaysfeltmorealonewhenshewassittinginthelivingroomatnightthanwhenshewasinthebedroom.
Hallie:WTFareyoudoing?
Jack:Tryingtoremembertobreathe.AreyoutellingmethatyouhaveanMLBbaseballthatissignedbytheentire2016WorldSeriesteam?
Hallie:Yup.
Jack:IwenttoGame7withmybrother,mydad,andmyuncleMack.Itwasamazing.
Hallie:Sotheballworkstoincentivizeyourlove?
Jack:Absolutelyitdoes.Holyshit,myfatherwillcrylikeababyanddeemmethefavoritechildifIgivethattohimforChristmas.
Hallie:Soyouhavedaddyissues.Gotit.
Jack:Veryfunny.Thiswagerisbrilliant.Iliterallywillnotgiveupandwilldatemyassoff,justbecauseIneedthatballbeforeChristmas.
Hallie:It’sSeptember,dumbass.Youreallythinkyou’llfindlovebythen?
Jack:Iwilldietrying.Doesn’tthefreeairfareputyouinthesameframeofmind?
Hallie:Imean,Iguess.IAMdyingforavacation,butsinceI’llstillhavetopayforlodginganddailyspending,itfeelslikesomethingthatI’llputoffforever
Jack:Thisisonlyfunifyou’retrying,Hal.
Hallie:Iwilltry,Ipromise.
Jack:WhatifIthrowin5nightsatthehotelofyourchoice?
Hallie:Ooh,Ithinkyou’vegotadeal.
Jack:I’monlyagreeingbecauseIknowIwon’tlose,btw.
Halliepulledbackhercomforterandclimbedintobed.Sureyouwon’t.
Jack:Hey—here’smynumbersowecantextinsteadofgoingthroughtheapp.
Halliesnortedassheaddedhimtohercontacts.You’resoobsessedwithmeit’sdisgusting.Here’smynumber.
Jack:Prettyquickwiththosedigits,Piper.
Hallie:Prettylamewiththosecomebacks,Marshall.
Hallie’sphonestartedringing,whichstartledherforaquicksecondbeforeitmadeherlaugh.
“Whyareyoucallingme?”sheasked.
“Ihadtotestthenumberandmakesureitwasn’tafake,”hesaid,andherbrainimmediatelyrecalledthatdeepvoicefromtheweddingnight.
“Sonowyouknow.”
“Ido.”Hallieheardhimclearhisthroat,likehewasabouttolaunchintoabusinesspresentation,andhesaid,“So,Hal.Listen.Mysistertoldmeaboutthisspeeddatingeventtomorrownightforyoungprofessionals.Iwasn’tgoingtogo,butthewholesetupkindofmakessenseforoursituation,andsincewe’rebothonthehunt…”
“Areyoukiddingmerightnow?”She’dneverdonespeeddating,butshewasfairlycertainshewouldfailspectacularlyatit.“Ididn’tthinkspeeddatingwasathinganymore.”
“Ihaveaflyer,”hesaid.
“Thatsoundsculty,”shereplied.
“Justcome,youchickenshit.”
Hallieshookherheadandsaid,“Textmeapicoftheflyerandwhereweshouldmeet.I’llgo,butonlybecauseIhavearoommateissueIdon’twanttodealwith.”
“What’sherdeal?Doesshepartyallnight?Eatallyourfood?Gettooloudwhenshe’sentertainingvisitors?”
“No,”Halliesaid.“I’mmovingintomyownplace,andI’mscaredtotellherbecauseIdon’twanthertofeelsad.”
“Oh,myGod,Hallie,areyouatenderlittlesweetheartofagirl?Ididnotgetthatvibefromyou.Although,tobefair,youbitmyshouldersoharditleftabruise,soitmight’veleftabad—andliteral—impressiononme.”
Hermouthdroppedopen.Halliewastornbetweenwantingtotellhimtoshutupandwantinghimtoconfirmwhethershe’dactuallyleftamark,soshejustsaid,“I’mhangingupnow.Sendtheinfoifyouwantmetogo.”
Heletoutaquiet,deeplaughandsaid,“Comingyourway,TB.”ChapterSIX
HalliepushedthedoorandexitedStarbucks,gladshe’ddecidedtoshowupalittleearly.Shefeltridiculouslynervousabouttalkingtosomanypeople,allinarow,andsheneededabigoldcupofcaffeinetosoothehernerves.
Surelythatcouldn’tbackfire,right?
ShewasmeetingJackoutsidethecoffeeshopat7:40p.m.,andthentheyweregoingtowalktwoblocksdowntothebarwherethespeeddatingeventwasoccurring.Butbeforeshecouldgivethenightanotherfleetingthought,therehewas.
Hewalkeddownthesidewalkwithlongstrides,andsherealizedasshewatchedhimapproachthathewasevenmoreattractivethanshe’dremembered.
Hewastall,dark-haired,andhandsome;she’drememberedthat.Buttherewassomethingabouthisfacethatscreamedmischief.Hiseyespositivelycrackledashelookedaroundtheentrance,presumablyforher,andthentheycrinkledatthecornerswhenhesawherandsmiled.
Hotdamn—itwasridiculoushowgorgeoushewas.
Wrong,actually.Positivelyunfairtotherestofthehumanrace.
ThankGodhewasjustherpartnerincrime,becausehehadthekindoffacethatleftpilesofbrokenheartsandtheoccasionalbrabehind.
“Wow.Youlookincredible,TinyBartender.”Hiseyesdippeddowntoherfuzzyblacksweaterandjeans,andshedidn’tfeellikehewascheckingheroutbutrathergenuinelyjustsayingshelookedgoodthatnight.
Hallierolledhereyesandsaid,“YouonlythinkI’mhotbecausewebonked.”
Hecockedaneyebrow.“Isthatathing?”
Sheshruggedandwonderedwhatkindofworkoutmadeachestthatbroad.Alotofguyshadpecs,buthelookedlikeaprofessionalathleteinhisblackV-necksweaterwiththeoxfordunderneath.Likehe’djustshoweredandwasreadyforapost-gamepresser.
ShegotdistractedforthebriefestofsecondsbyhisprominentAdam’sappleandaflashbackfromthehotelofhertongueonhisneck.
“Ithinkit’sacavemannish,biologicalthing,”Halliesaid,takingasipofhercoffeeandrightinghermind.“Yourbrainknowsyoucopulatedwithaparticularfemale,sonowyouregoensuresthatyouseesaidfemaleasattractive.”
Thatmadehisdimplespop.“Isthiswhatyoutellyourselfsoyoufeelbetteraboutfindingmewickedlyattractive?ThatyouonlythinkI’mhotbecausewebonked?”
“Firstofall,Ifindyoupainfullyunattractive.Ithurtsmyeyestolookatyou,ifI’mbeinghonest.”
“Ouch,”hesaid,puttinghishandsintothepocketsofhispants.
“Yeah,suuuuperdisgusting.”
“Igetthatalot.”
“I’mnotsurprised.Secondofall,it’sveryunappealingforamantosay‘bonk.’Veryungentlemanlike.Lettheladiesusetheirpowerwords,andyousticktobeingcharming.”
“I’lldobetter.Shallwewalk?”
Hallienoddedandtheystartedtheirwaydownthestreet.Shecaughtawhiffofcologne—orsoaporsomethingmanly—andshewastryingtoidentifythescentwhenheinterruptedherthoughts.
“So.Haveyoupracticedyourlines?”
“Whatlines?”
“Yourspeeddatinglines.”Henudgedherarmwithhiselbowandsaid,“You’regoingtogetalotofquestionsthrownatyoufast,soyouhavetobeready.”
“Crap,Itotallydidn’tstudy.Let’spractice.”
Heclearedhisthroat,changedhisvoice,andsaid,“So,Hallie.Whatdoyoudoforfun?”
Hallielookedathisfaceanddrewablank.“I,um,Ireadalot…?”
Hescruncheduphisnose.“Saidthemostboringgirlinhistory.Tryagain.”
“IwatchTV,”shetriedagain,andrealizedthatsheabsolutelywasthemostboringgirl.“Iliketorun,andnothingthrillsmequitelikeaNewGirlmarathon.”
“Comeon,TB—striveforinteresting.Atleastthrowonanaccent.Thatmakesanythingsoundexciting.”
“Okay.”HallierackedherbrainbeforesayinginadeplorableSouthernaccent,“Isewtinyarticlesofclothingforbabychipmunks,y’all.”
“Doyouactuallydothat?”
“Ofcoursenot,y’all.”
“PeoplefromtheSouthdon’tsay‘y’all’ineverysentence.”
“Yousure,y’all?”
“Youmuststopthatatonce.”
“Fine.”Sheclearedherthroatbeforewhispering,Y’all
“Onasidenote,evenifyoudidsewtinychipmunkattire,it’sonlyinterestingifitinvolvesshort-shorts.”
“Onmeorthechipmunks?”
Herolledhiseyes.“Obviouslythechipmunks.”
“Obviously.”
Hesaid,“Okay,well,let’shopeyoudon’tgetaskedthatquestion.Howaboutthis—whatdoyoudoforaliving?”
Theyreachedthecornerandstopped,waitingforthelighttochange.Shesaid,“Iamataxaccountant.Whataboutyou?”
“Amateurtaxidermist.”
Hallieturnedandlookedupathim.SomethingabouttheteasingglintinhiseyemadeherthinkofChrisEvans;theybothhadthat“Iwouldprankyousohard”vibe.SheattemptedaBritishaccentandreplied,“Thatsoundsbloodyfascinating.Howlonghaveyoubeendoingthat?”
“Sincetheytoldmebeinganamateurmorticianisafelony.”
“Well,thatiscertainlyalarming,youfriggingbloke,but—”
“No.”Jackputhislargehandoverhermouth,leanedalittlecloser,andsaid,“Nomoreaccents.”
Halliejustblinkedupathim.
“Okay?”heasked,notremovinghishandashesmiledwickedly,likeadark-haired,blue-eyedvillain.
Shenodded,andhedroppedhispalmfromherfaceandsaid,“Ididn’tthinkitwaspossibleforsomeonetobesobadataccents.IlookattheworlddifferentlynowthatI’veheardthosevoices.”
“IdoastellarIrishlilt,soyourlossbycuttingmeoff.”
“I’mcomfortablewiththat.”
Whentheyfinallyreachedthebar,Hallie’snervesreturned.Shereachedupandstraightenedherhairashegrabbedthedoorandpulleditopen.Hegaveherarelaxed,confidentsmileasheheldthedoorforherandsaid,“Youreadytodateataridiculouslyhighrateofspeed,Piper?”
“Iguess,”shesaid,herstomachdippingasthenoiseofthebarsuddenlyengulfedher.“Butdon’tditchmeifyouconnectwithsomeone,okay?”
Hiseyesnarrowedandhissmilesoftenedintosomethingshecouldn’tputherfingeron.Hesaid,“Okay.”
Theywerebarelyinsidethebarwhenawomanwithamicrophonestartedgoingovertheevent.Sheexplaineditwas“typical”speeddating,whichmeantfiveminutesperdatewithabellnotifyingparticipantsofwhenitwastimetoadvancetothenextperson.Everyonewasgivenatinynotepad(withthewordsLoveHappensonthefront—gag)andpencilsotheycouldjotdownthenamesofdatestheyconnectedwithsotheycouldcommunicatewiththemaftertheevent.
“Theladieswillbeseatedatthetablesoverthere,”thewomansaid,pointingtowardthesideoftheroomwheretableswerelinedupsidebyside,“andourgentlemenwillrotate.”
“Why?”Hallieasked,notreallymeaningtointerrupt.“Ireadanarticlelastnightinwhichresearchersdiscoveredthatwhichevergenderisseatedattheseeventstendstobepickierabouttheirselections,whereasthepersonapproachingismoreaccepting.”
Thewoman’ssmilestayedpinnedonhermouth,buthereyeslosttheirperk.“Well,wouldn’tthatworkinyourfavor,assomeonewhowillbeseated?”
Hallierolledhereyes.“Respectfully,itseemsincrediblysexisttohavewomenlineduptoreceivesuitors,don’tyouthink?Aren’twemoreevolvedthanthat?”
SheheardJacksnort,anditwasthenthatsherealizedsheshouldhavekeptherbigmouthshut.
Jack
Jackcouldn’tholdinhisgrinastheparticipantsalllookedatHallieasifsheweresuggestingtheyplaythegamenakedorsomething.Theyprobablythoughtshewasamilitantfeminist,buthekindofwantedtohearmoreaboutthestudy.
Also,shewasn’twrong.
“Iseewhatyou’resaying,”theladysaid,“butthisisjustthewayspeeddatingisusuallydone.Icantakeyourideasbackto—”
Jackraisedhishandandsaid,“Theoddwomanmakesagoodpoint.I’dliketosit.Maybeweshouldrandomlydrawnumberstodecidewhositsandwhorotates,justtokeepit‘modern.’?”
Hedidn’treallygiveadamnwhosatandwhostood,buthealsodidn’twantHallietobeostracizedforhavinganintelligent,independentthought.
“Um,”theorganizersaid,soundingexasperatedasshelookedaroundthebar,“Iguesswecantrysomethingnew.”
“Veryprogressiveofyou,”Jacksaid,andtheorganizergrinnedathimlikehe’djustgivenherabouquetoflong-stemmedroses.
“Yeah,thankyou,”Halliesaid,whichmadetheorganizer’ssmilefalter.Thewomanlookedatherasifshewishedananvilwouldfallfromtheskyandcrushher.
“Buthowwillwematchupguysandgirlswhenthebellrings?”Thewomanwasbeginningtoslowlylosehershit.Hereyesshiftedaroundtheroomandshesaid,“Itwon’twork.”
Ablondesaid,“Wecanassignanumbertoeachparticipant,andwhenthebellrings,eachpersonmovesontothenextnumberupfromtheirs.”
“No,thisistooconfusingandwe’rescheduledtostartintwominutes,”theorganizersaid,raisingthemicrophonetohermouthandalmostshoutingatthispoint.“We’restickingwithouroriginalplan.I’msorry.”
HallielookedatJackandhecouldn’tstophimselffromgrinning.
“Thankyoufortrying,”shemuttered.
“Fuckthat,”hewhispered.“NowIhavetostandthewholetime.”
Thatmadeherstartlaughing.
Whichmadetheorganizerglareevenharderandsay,“Maybewecanmakethenumberthingwork.Takefive,everyone.”
Halliethrewaclosed-mouthsmileatthegirltoherleft,whojustrolledhereyeslikeHalliewasamoron,andshesaid“Hi”tothegirlonherright,whogaveheraveryterse“Hello.”
“Thisisgoingswimmingly,”Jackheardhersaytoherself,underherbreath.
JackwonderedifitwasstrangethathewashavingagreattimejustwatchingHalliebeHallie.“Youlittletroublemaker.”
“Ishould’vekeptmymouthshut.”
“No,thisisfunnyshitrighthere,”hesaid.“Andwhatyousaidmakessense.Whyshouldtheladiesgettositandchoose?IwanttositandhavethemcomebeforemelikethekingIam.”
“ThatisnotwhatIwasrequesting,”shesaidwithalaugh,rollinghereyes.
God,shehasareallygreatlaugh.
“Okay,everyone,”theorganizeryelledthroughthemicrophone,hervoicetense.“We’rerunningbehind,butIthinkwehaveitfiguredout.”
Shequicklyexplainedthenumberingsystemandhowitwouldwork,thenshoutedoutnumbersthatdeterminedwhowouldsitandwhowouldstand.
Intheend,Halliewasstillsitting.
AndsowasJack,whotookthetablerightbesideher.Hewatchedasshestuckherpurseunderthesmalltable,pushedbackherhair,andstraightenedherposture.Shelookednervousasshetookadeepbreath,andhehadnoideawhyhefeltlikesqueezingherhandinreassurance.
Hallie
“Idareyoutouseanaccent,”Jacksaidoutofthecornerofhismouth.
“You’renotgettingthebaseball,soknockitoff.”
“We’llsee,”hesaid.
Beforeshewasevenready,thebellrang.Hallietookadeepbreath,andaguysatdowninthechairinfrontofher.Hehadanicefaceandcurlyblondhair,andasshesmiledandtriedtothinkofsomethingtosay,hesaid,“Hi,I’mBlayne.”
“I’mHallie.”
“OhmyGod,IusedtoloveTheParentTrap.”
Sheforcedherselfnottorollhereyes.“Same.”
“Sowhat’syourthing,Hal?”Theguysmiledandputhischinonhishand.“TellmeeverylittlethingaboutHallisterMcHalliegirl.”
“Nope.”Shefake-laughedandtriedthinkingofananswer.“I’mataxaccountant,butyoufirst.TellmeaboutBlayne.”
“I’mafinancialplannerwholivesoutinWestfield.Ilikecampingandhiking,anythingoutdoorsy,andI’msuperintoyogarightnow.Doyoulikeyoga?”
ShetiltedherheadandtriedtopictureBlaynedoingyoga.Shecouldtotallyseeit.“I’vereallyonlytrieditacoupletimes.”
Thatwasapparentlyagreenlightforhimtospendtheentiretyoftheirmicro-datetellingherthewho/what/where/whenoftheyogaclasshefacilitatedinastripmall.Hegaveherthepromocodetogetafriendsandfamilydiscount,andsherealizedasheexpoundeduponthebenefitsofyogathatthisspeeddatingthingwasn’tactuallyabadpromotionalidea.
Sheglancedtoherright,andwow,Jack’scurrentdatewasstunning.Shewassmilingandtalking,andhelookedabsolutelyenthralledbyher.Halliewondered—feelingslightlypanicked—ifhe’dalreadyfoundhisloveconnection.
Thebellrang,andHallieletoutabreath.Shewasn’tsureifshewasrelievedthatthefirstonewasoverorterrifiedaboutthenextonebeginning.
“Yourdatelookedawesome,”Jacksaidquietly,andwhenshelookedoverathim,hewasgivingherahalfsmile.“Ibethewearsamanbunontheweekends.”
“Blaynewasnice,”shewhispered.
“Blayne?”Jackrolledhiseyes.“IthoughtDuckiealreadycoveredwhatastupidnamethatis.”
“NicePrettyinPinkreference.”Halliestraightenedasamanbegantoapproachhertable.Shesaidoutofthesideofhermouth,“Itlookedlikeyouwerehavingagooddate,bytheway.”
“Yeah,no.Thatgirltoldmethereasonwhyshe’sheretonightisbecauseshe’scommittedtothegoalofgettingmarriedinthenextyear.”
“Shesoundsperfect,then,”shesaid,smilingathernextdateandsaying,“Hi,I’mHallie.”
“Nope,”sheheardJackmutterbeforehestartedtalkingtohisnextcandidate.
“I’mThomas,”saidhernewguy.“Sohow’dyourfirstdatego?”
Thatmadehersmileandrelaxalittle.“Itwasfine,howaboutyours?”
Thomashadnicehairandgoodteeth,andhewaswearingaDolce&Gabbanashirt;shewasn’tcertainifthatfashionchoiceworkedasaprooracon.Shewasn’tsurehowshe’dexpectedhimtorespond,butheleanedalittlecloser,loweredhisvoice,andproceededtoripsomepoorgirltoshreds.
Apparentlyhisfirstcandidatehadcrookedteeth,splitends,strongperfume,andtheaudacitytotalkaboutTVshowsshelikedtowatch.Hesaid,“Ifyoudon’thaveanythingbettertosharethanyourobsessionwiththeYouseriesonNetflix,maybeyoushouldjuststayhome,right?”
Halliesquintedandwaitedforhimtosaykidding.Becausenoonecouldbethatdickish,right?
Whenhedidn’t,shesaid,“I’mactuallyobsessedwithJoeGoldberg,too.Ican’tbelieveyouaren’t,Thomas.”
Helaughed,butthenhetiltedhishead.“You’rekidding,right?”
“Notonebit.IwishIhadmoretimetodevotetoTVwatching.Andmoretimetotalkaboutit.”
Heblinkedfast,scratchedhishead,andthensaid,“Y’knowwhat?I’mgoingtogogetadrinkbeforethebellrings.”
“Bye,Thomas.”
Aaaaand…she’dalreadylostone.Halliewatchedhimgetupandgotothebar,andshewonderedifshewouldbepartofhisbadspeeddatingstories.Shecrossedherarmsandglancedtoherright,andwassurprisedtoseeJacklookingrightather.Hisdatewasscrollingonherphone,justleaningonherelbowlikeshewasbored,andHallieraisedhereyebrowsandmouthed,“Whatdidyoudo?”
Heleanedtohisleft,closertoher,andquietlysaid,“Wehaveanagreement.Shedoesn’twanttobeherebutisjusttryingtoappeasehermarriedfriend,soItoldherwedidn’tevenhavetotalkifshedidn’twantto.”
ThatmadeHalliebarkoutalaugh.“Seriously?”
“Whatdidyoudo,tomakeyourguyboltpre-bell?”
“WhywouldyouassumeIwastheonewhodidsomething?”
“Youcantellme,Hal,”hecroonedinasoothingvoice.“Whatdidyousay?”
Sherolledhereyes.“Hejustdidn’tlikeme.”
“Impossible,”hesaid,grinningsarcastically.
Sheflippedhimoff.
Andthenthebellrang.
ShewatchedJack’sdatethankhim,andtheysharedasmileofcommiseration.
“Idon’twanttodothisanymore,”Halliesaidquietly.
“Me,neither,”heagreed.“Shouldwebolt?There’saTacoHutonthecorner,andIneedaburrito.”Helookeddeadserious.
“Canwe?”sheasked.“Won’tthatthrowoffthenumbers?”
“Nah,”hesaid,turninghisgazetothewomansittingdownacrossfromhimashespoketoHallieinalowvoice.“Therearetwoofus,soit’llstillbeeven.Ifthesetwoaren’tlovematcheslet’sgowhenthebellrings.”
Halliemethernextcandidatewhilewearingahugesmile,eagertofinishthedatequicklyandpainlessly.“Hi,I’mHallie.”
“Nick,”theguysaid,givingheraverynicesmile.
Nicklookedgood—asin,someoneshemightactuallybeinterestedindatingifappearanceswereallthatmattered.HewaswearingaYankeeshoodieandjeans,hehaddarkhairandlighteyes,andhissmilewaseasy,likehediditalot.
“Nicetomeetyou,Nick,”shesaid.“How’syournightgoingsofar?”
Hegaveheralookwithhiseyes,likecomeon,andtheybothlaughedasshesaid,“Okay,Igetthat.So,um,whatdoyoudoforaliving,Nick?Ithinkthat’swhatI’msupposedtoaskyou.”
“Thatisthenorm,isn’tit?”Heleanedbackalittleinhischairandsaid,“Well,Idon’tactuallydotheworkthingatall.”
Hallielaughed,buthedidn’tchangehisexpression.
Soshesaid,“You’re,um,like,inbetweenjobsrightnow?”
Heshookhishead.“I’minbetweennojobs.Igrewupwithmoneyandinvesteditwell.I’vegotenoughtoliveon,sowhywouldIwanttowork?”
“Wow,”shesaid,shockedandawedbyhishonesty.Andwealth.“You’reliterallylivingthedream.”
“Right?”Hecrossedhisarmsacrosshischestandsaid,“Ijustneedawifeandafewkidsnow.”
Hallienoddedbutdidn’treallyknowwhattosay.Sherubbedherlipstogetherandcameupwith,“Sowhatdoyoudoallday,sinceyoudon’thavetowork?”
Shedidn’tknowwhatshe’dexpected,butitwasn’t,“IplayalotofCODandMadden.”
Shelaughed,butthenhiseyebrowswentdownlikehedidn’tknowwhatwasfunny.Likehe’dmeantitforreal.Shesaid,“Whenyou’renot,like,travelingtheworld,right?”
Heshrugged.“Idon’treallyliketotravel.I’matotalhomebody.”
Shenodded,eventhoughsheabsolutelydidn’trelate.Sheknewsheshouldmoveon,butshehadtoknowmore.“Sotellmewhatyoudoonanormalday.Like…youwakeupatnine,andthenyou…?”
Hewentontotellherthathenevergotupbeforenoon;itwasbadforhissciatica.Afterhewasup,heprettymuchjustplayedvideogamesalldayuntildinner.Heusuallywentouttoarestaurant,thenhitthebarsiftheywere“jumpin’.”
“Don’tyougetalittlebored?”Hallierolledhereyesandsaid,“Imean,I’msureyoudon’t,butitjustseems—”
“Ihavealotofmoney,Hallie,”hesaid.“IfIgetboredwithmyawesomelife—whichIwon’t—I’lljustbuyanewone.”
“Anewlife?”
“Sure,”hesaid,shrugginglikehedidn’tcareaboutanything,andshefoundhimtobeutterlyfascinating.
“Whatdoyouusuallyeatforbreakfast?”sheasked.
Hegaveheraweirdlook.“AppleJacks.”
“Pourthemyourself,ordoesthemaiddoit?”
“Thecook,”hereplied.
“Inacrystalgoblet,ornormalbowl?”
“Normalbowl.”
Thebellrangandtheguyleisurelygotup,likehewasinnorush.Because,y’know,hewasn’t—hehadallthetimeintheworld.Fascinating.Halliesaid,“Itwasverynicemeetingyou,Nick.”
Hegaveherachinnod.“Same,Hallie.”
“Youready?”
Hallieturnedtoherright,andJackwasthere,lookingdownatherwithhiseyebrowsraised.“Wehavetogonow,before—”
Shegrabbedhisarmandstartedforthedoor.“Let’sgetoutofhere.”ChapterSEVEN
“Theguywaslying.”
“Idon’tthinkso.”Halliepickedupherbeerandsaid,“Hedidn’ttalkaboutcarsorhousesoranythingbraggythatwouldscorehimladypoints;heliterallyjustsaidhedoesn’tworkbecausehedoesn’thaveto.”
“IbetweseehimdriveawayinaKia,”Jacksaid.“Withataped-onbumper.”
Halliedrainedtherestofherbeerandsaid,“IbetweseehimdriveawayinaKiawithataped-onbumperandapileofdiamondsinthetrunk.”
Hegaveheralook.“Diamonds,shesays.”
“Diamonds.”HalliegrinnedatJackandwasshockedthatshewashavingagreattime.She’dassumedthenightwouldbeanawkwardbust,butsincethey’dleftthedate-a-thonandsnaggedanoutdoortableatTacoHut,shewasactuallyhavingfun.
“Hereyougo.”ThewaitersetdownHallie’stacobasketandsaid,“Twochickentacoswithcheeseonthebottomforyou.”
Jacklookedatherandgavehisheadaslowshake,likeshewasridiculous.
“Andfoursteaktacoswiththeworksforyou.”
Assoonasthewaiterwalkedaway,Jacksaid,“Seriously,Piper?Cheeseonthebottom?”
Hallieshruggedandpickeduponeofhertacos.“Ifit’sontopofthelettuceitdoesn’tmelt,andwhatisthepointofcold,hardcheese?”
Hejustlookedatherforalongmoment,andthenhesaid,“Ihavenoidea.”
Itwasagorgeousnight,thedowntownstreetswerebuzzingwithactivity,andsheherselfwasbuzzingfromthetwoquickbeers.Jackhadbeenwildlyentertainingashedescribedingreatdetailtheconversationshe’dhadwithhiscandidates,andhe’dthrownhisheadbackandlaughedhisassoffwhenshetoldhimabouttheTV-hater.
“Sospeeddatingsucks.”Jackdrainedthelastofhistequilaontherocksandsettheglassonthetabledramatically.“Let’sneverdothatagain.”
“Agreed.”
“Wantanotherone?”heasked.
Sheshookherhead.“No,thanks.I’mgoingtohavetogocampoutatStarbucksforanhourasitistogetridofthisbuzz.”
“Pathetic.WhathappenedtomyCrown-guzzlingbuddy?”
“Shehitrockbottomwhenshefoundherselfinastranger’shotelroom.”
“Whoa.”Jacklookedoffended.“Youconsidermeyourrockbottom?”
“No,”shesaid,laughing,“butIconsidertheeventmyrockbottom.”
“Well,”hesaid,lookingamused,“Ithoughtyourrockbottomwasanamazingfuckingtime.”
Hallielaughedattheabsurdityofthesituation.BeingwithJackwassodifferentthanbeingwithBen;itwassochill.Althoughitwasridiculousthatshewasevencomparingthetwo,sinceshebarelyknewJackMarshall.
“Okay.Jack.”Hallieclearedherthroatandlookedstraightintohisdevilisheyes.“Ionlyknowyouinthecontextofrock-bottomnightandthedatingapp.Butwedon’treallyknoweachother,dowe?Areyoufromhere?Howmanysiblingsdoyouhave?Whatdoesalandscapingarchitectdo?”
“You’reobviouslystuckinthespeeddatinglineofquestioning,”hesaid.“Yes,Igrewuphere.Ihaveasister,Olivia—shewasthebrideontherock-bottomnight—andabrother,Will.Ialsohaveasister-in-law,abrother-in-lawwhohappenstobemybestfriend,andtwonephews.”
“Andthejob…?”Halliewaspicturingsomeonewhodidyardlandscaping,whichsheknewwasn’tcorrect.
“Um,”hesaid,grabbingastrawfromthecenterofthetableandunwrappingit.“TheeasydefinitionisthatIdesignoutdoorspaces.Whataboutyou?Isbeingataxaccountantasexcitingasitsounds?”
“Iknow—it’sajobthat’sliterallyusedinmoviestoshowhowboringapersonis.”Hallielaughed.“Wanttheviewertoknowhowbadyourdatewas?Justsayhewasataxaccountantandthat’sallthecharacterizationneeded.Butit’snotboringtome.It’slame,butthere’ssomethingverysatisfyingaboutnumbersandreconciliation.”
HalliewatchedasJackstartedwindinguptheclearstrawlikesheandherfriendsusedtodoinhighschool.Hesaid,“Ithinkthat’sreally—”
“Don’tsaycool.It’snotcool.Ilikemyjob,butinnowayisitcool.”
Hegavealittlelaughasheheldoutthestrawandgesturedforhertoflickit.“Fine,it’slameasfuck.”
“Easy”—sheflickedthestrawandsmiledattheloudpop—“that’smycareeryou’retalkingabout.”
“Whatdoyouwantfromme,Hal?”Hedroppedthecrackedstrawontothetable.“Toughtopleasemuch?”
Sheleanedbackinherchairandkickedherlegsallthewayoutinfrontofher.Itwassuchanicelate-summernight,andshewasgladshewasoutenjoyingitinsteadofathomeinherjammies.
“Sohowlonghaveyoubeensingle,TB?”
HallieglancedatJack,andhelookedultra-relaxed,too,leaningbacktheexactsamewayashelookedatherwithfriendlycuriosityandnojudgment.
“Um…”Shelookeddownatthedateonherphone.“Ayear…?”
“Holyshit.”Helookedatherlikeshe’djustprofessedherselftobeallama.“You’rekiddingme,right?”
“Whyisthatsoshocking?”
Sheknewwhy.Thatdudehadhadaringinhispocketlessthanamonthagoandhewasalreadybackoutthere—obviouslyhewasallaboutrelationships.
“It’snot,”hesaid,lookingatherwithatinycrinklebetweenhiseyebrows.“Butwhenyousaidyourwholewinter-of-your-twentiesthing,Iassumeditwasafreshbreakup.”
“Oh.”Thatmadesense.
“So…you’vedatedduringthattime,haven’tyou?”
Sheclearedherthroat.“Beforejoiningthedatingapp?”
Hejustgaveheraduhlook.
“Um,that’sano,then.”
“OhmyGod,TB,youareblowingmymind,”hesaid,anditwasobvioushe’dneverconsideredsomeonecouldlivetheirlifewithoutdatingforthatlongofastretch.
“That’snotthatlong,youknow,”Halliesaid.“Ijustdidn’twanttorushintosomethingIwasn’treadyfor.”
“That’ssmart,actually,”hesaid,andlookedlikehemeantit.
“Anditwasthewinterofmytwenties.”Shestartedexplainingherthoughtprocessesandgoalsofthepastyear,feelingcompelledtodefendheractionseventhoughhewasn’taskingherto.
“Soyoufiguredsinceyourdouchebagexhadbrokenyourheart,youweregoingtospendthenextyearbeingmiserable…?”
“Oh,myGod,you’remissingthepointonpurpose.IusedthatshittytimetosavemoremoneyandimprovemyselfsoI’dbereadytotakeontheworldwhenmyspringarrived.”
Hequirkedaneyebrow.“Isthisyourspring?”
Shetiltedherheadandsquinted.“Ithinkitmightbe.”
Afterthattheydecidedtowalkbacktotheircars.ShetoldhimaboutRuthieandhedidn’tbelieveherthatsomeonecouldbesounique,andthenshetoldhimabouthernewapartment.Whenshetoldhimwhereitwas,hesuggestedtheywalktoitsotheycouldcheckitoutatnightandmakesuretheneighborhoodwasn’tshitty.
Onthewaythere,hepointedattheCarsonbuildingandsaid,“That’smyoldbuilding.”
“Forreal?”HallielookedupatthehighrisethatwaslikeahistoricalmonumentinOmaha.“Fancy.”
“Myroommatemadeashittonofmoneyandletmemoveintohiscondoandpaynexttonothingonrent,soIwasbasicallyamooch.”
“I’vealwayswantedtoseetheinsideofthebuilding.TheyusedtolightitupeveryChristmas,andIalwayswonderedwhatitlookedlikeupclose.”
“Wannagoin?”
“What?”
“Comeon.”Hegrabbedherhandandyankedhertowardtheentrance.
“Jack—”
“Justshutupandcomeon.”Hewalkedrightuptothekeypadbesidethedoorandpressedabutton.
Asecondlater,avoicecameoutofthespeakerandsaid,“Yes?”
“Olivia,it’sJack.CanIshowHallieyourapartment?”
“Who’sHallie?”thewoman—Olivia—asked.
“Jack,comeon,”Halliewhispered,feelinglikeanidiotallofasudden.
“She’stheweddingbartender,”Jacksaid.
“Wait—yourdatingbuddy?”Oliviaasked,soundingsurprised.
“Bingo.”
“Comeonup.”
Halliegavehimside-eyeasthedoorbuzzedopen.“Whoissheandhowdoessheknowaboutme?Obsessedmuch?”
Hegaveheratinyshove.“She’smysister,Olivia,theonewhogotmeontheapp—that’stheonlyreasonsheknows.”
“Soyoursisteris—”
“Marriedtomyformerroommateandbestfriend.Youwereattheirwedding.”
“Ahh,shewasthebride.”Halliefollowedhimintothebuilding,andtheearly-twentieth-centurystructuredidnotdisappoint.Everythingwasmeticulouslydesignedandmaintained,soitwasalmostlikesteppingintoafancybuildingfromthepast.
“Imissthisbuilding,”Jacksaid,leaningagainstthewallafterknockingonhissister’sdoor.“Soquiet.”
Afterafewseconds,thedooropenedandhissister—whomHallierememberedtheminuteshesawher—smiledwarmly.“Well,hello.It’ssonicetoseeyouwhenmybrother’sdateisn’tthrowingwineinyourface.”
Halliesmiledback.“Right?”
“Where’sCol?”Jackasked,leadingHallieinsideasOliviaheldthedooropen
“Colin,”Oliviayelled,“yourlittleplayfriendishere.”
Adooropened,revealingaroomthatlookedlikeanoffice,andaguywalkedout.Sherememberedhimfromtheweddingbecausehewasquitepossiblythemostattractivepersonshe’deverseen,andhegrinnedwhenhesawJack.
“Didyoucomeoverforthegame?”Hewalkedovertothelivingroomandpickeduparemote.“Threeminutesleftinregulation.”
“Imissedthewholedamnthing,”Jacksaid.
“ThisisHallie,bytheway,”Oliviasaid,hobblingintotheroom.“Hallie,thisismyhusband,Colin.”
Hesmiledfromacrosstheroom.“Theweddingbartender.Nicetoformallymeetyou.”
Shefeltalittleweirdaboutthefacttheybothseemedawareofherexistence,butthenJacksaid,“MyentirefamilyseesyouasaherobecauseyoubrokeupmeandVanessa.”
“Ididn’tdoanything,”shesaid.
“Don’truinit.”Olivialaughed.“You’relikealegend.”
BeforeJackhadachancetogiveheratourofthecondo,OlivialinkedherarmthroughHallie’sandsaid,“We’regoingoutonthebalconytochat.Don’tbugus.”
Jack
“IsshegoingtoaskHallieahundredquestions?”Jackasked,watchingOliviaclosetheslidingdoorbehindthem.
“She’syoursister—whatdoyouthink?”
Jacklookedatthegirlsthroughthewindow.“MaybeIshouldgooutthere.”
“Doyoucare,though?”Colintippedbackhisbottle,drainedthelastofit,thensaid,“Imean,ifshe’sjustafriend,whocaresifnosyLivpokesaround?”
“Y’knowwhat?”JackstaredatColinforasecond.“You’reright.Itdoesn’tmatter.”
“She’scute,though.”
“Huh?”
“Yourbartender.Nottoohardontheeyes,right?”
JacklookedatHallie,chattingwithOliviaoutonthebalcony.
No,shewasnot.
He’dbarelynoticedherlooksthefirsttimehe’dmetheratthejewelrystore,probablybecauseshe’dbeensuchasmartasswhileshowinghimrings,butnowhefoundthatfactprettytoughtobelieve.
Hergreeneyes,thatlushmouth,thewayshefellintoeasylaughter—TBwasfuckinghot.Theimageofherinthosesquirrelpantiespoppedintohishead,andhequicklypusheditaway.Thatridiculousundergarmentshouldn’thavebeensexy,butitsureasfuckhadbeenonher.
Dammit.
Itfeltimportantthatheforget—oratleasttrytoforget—theirsexualdetailsandhistory.Helikedtheirpartnership(friendship?),andhedidn’twanttogetconfusedbyattraction.
Again.
Hallie
“So.”Oliviasatdownonadeckchair,proppedherfootonthesmallmatchingtable,andsaid,“Jacktoldmeyou’re,like,perma-wingmentoeachother,isthatright?”
“That’sactuallyaperfectdescription.”Halliesatdownontheotherpatiochair,relaxingalittlesinceitwasclearshewasn’ttryingtogrillherorsomething.“We’rebothtryingtofindsomeonethroughtheapp,sowecommiserate.”
“Butthetwoofyou…aren’t…like,interestedineachotheratall?”
“God,no.”Hallieshookherheadandsaid,“We’reabsolutelyplatonic.”
“Andyou’veactuallydiscussedthatyouaren’tintoeachother?”
“Wait,areyouthinkinghe’sintomeorsomething?”Hallieasked.“Becausehe’stotallynot.”
“No,no,notatall,”shesaid.“CanIbehonestwithyou?”
“Ofcourse.”
“Jack’skindofahotmessrightnow.He’salwaysbreezedthroughlife,enjoyingflirty-funrelationshipswithwomenlikeanovergrownchild.Butlastyear—”
Olivialeanedherheadtowardthedoor,makingsurenoonewascomingout.
“Lastyear,hislifewaskindofupended.First,ColinandIfellinloveandmovedintogether,sohekindoflosthisbestfriend.ThenouruncleMack,hisfavoriterelativeandtotallyhishero,passedawaysuddenly.”
HallierememberedJackmentioningthathisuncleMackwaswiththematthebaseball’scorrespondinggame.“Oh,I’msosorry.”
“It’sokay.ButforJack,itwaslikeeverythinginhislifechangedovernight.AndthenwhenMackdiedandtheonlypeoplewhocametohisfuneralwerepeopleinourfamily,itreallyscrewedwithJack’shead.”
“Nofriends?”
“None.”Oliviacrossedherarmsoverherchestandsaid,“Itwassounbelievablethatthisguywhowasthelifeofeverypartyandatotalladies’manwoulddiealone.Notasinglefriendorgirlfriend—andhe’dhadsomany—wascloseenoughtohimtofeelcompelledtoshowupforhisburial.Like,whatthehell,right?”
“Oof,”Halliesaid.
“Totaloof,”Oliviaagreed.“ItwasrightaboutthattimethatJackstarteddatingVanessa.”
“Ah.”
“Ihaveatheorythathewashavingamini-crisisandlatchedontoVanoutofpanic.”Oliviagaveherheadalittleshakeandsaid,“HespenthiswholelifewantingtobelikeMack,worshippingourfunpartyuncle,andthen,justlikethat,herealizedhehaditallwrong.”
“Thatmakessense,”Halliesaidquietly.Itexplainedwhysomeonelikehimwouldbewithsomeonelikehishorribleex.Italsoexplainedwhyhewasalreadyonadatingapp,tryingtomakelovehappen.
“Hewentfromsingleandlovingittomovinginwithhisnewgirlfriend.NextthingIknew,hewasbuyingaringandtalkingaboutpoppingthequestion.”
HalliecouldstillpictureVanessa’sbeautiful,bitchyface.
“Notgonnalie,Iwasthrilledabouttheirinauspiciousbreakup.Sorryaboutthewine,bytheway.”
“Ithappens.”Hallieshruggedandsmiledatthememory.
“Iputhimontheapprightawayafterthat,hopinghe’dmeetsomeonenice,normal,andnotinaracetothealtar.”
“TheoppositeofVanessa.”
“Bingo.”Oliviacrossedherarmsandsaid,“Sowhenhetoldmehewastalkingtotheweddingbartender,Iwasterrified.Notthatyou’renotawesome.”
Halliecoughedoutalaugh.“Igetit.”
“ButIjustworryabouthimjumpingintoofastagain,”Oliviasaid.“HewassolonelythatIwasworriedhe’dstartdatingyousimplybecauseit’scomfortable.”
“Low-hangingfruit,right?”
“Exactly.Like,low-hangingfruitcanbethebestfruit,don’tgetmewrong,butyouhavetocheckthewholetreejusttomakesure.”
Hallienodded.“I’mnotsureifthatanalogyisperfectorterrible.”
“Perfectlyterrible.”Oliviasnortedandsaid,“ItwasjustsoweirdhowfasthedidthingswithVan.Itdidn’tevenseemlikehereallylovedher,butmorelikehewasforcingit,tryingtomakeitfit.”
IthinkIwasinlovewiththeideaofyou,Hallie,insteadofwhoyouactuallyare.
Yeah—shewasfamiliarwiththeconcept.BenandJackwereoflikeminds,itseemed.
“Butnow,I’mthrilledbyhowthingsaregoing.He’sactuallytryingontheapp,andhehasyoutoencouragehim.It’sawin-win.”
“Forme,too,”Halliesaid,andthenOlivialaunchedintoahilariousstoryaboutwhensheandColinfirstgottogetherandJacktriedtokickColin’sass.Aftertheywentbackinside,Halliegotthegrandtour,andtwentyminuteslatersheandJackheadedbackout.
“Ihopemysisterdidn’tgrillyou,”Jacksaid,givingheraquestioninglook
“Shedidn’t.Sheseemsgreat.Although…Idohavetoaskyousomething,andI’mprettyscaredofyouranswer.”
“Uh-oh.”
“YourDitkacomment,coupledwithyourreactiontotheovertimefinishwejustwitnessed,hasmeseriouslyterrifiedthatyou’reaBearsfan.Sayitisn’tso,buddy.”
Theydebatedfootballastheywalkedtowardhernewapartment,andHalliewasdisappointedtodiscovernotonlywasheaBearsfan,buthealsolikedtheBulls.Shecouldacceptalotofidiocy,buttheChicagoBulls?
Comeon.
ThankfullytheywerebothLiverpoolfans,soshesupposedtheyfoundsomecommonground.Outsideherapartment,shepointedtowhereherbalconywasandhepretendedhecouldseeitamongstthemyriadothersinthedarkness.
Sheknewhecouldn’t,butitwasnicetohavesomeonetodreamwith.ChapterEIGHT
Jack:Goodmorning,mylittlenumbercruncher.
Halliegroanedasshereadthetext.Theonethathadwokenherupbecauseshe’dforgottentosilencehernotifications.It’s5:30a.m.onaSunday.Eatglass.
Jack:Ijustwantedtobethefirsttowishyouagoodday.
Hallie:Thanks,asshole.
Jack:Now,now.Also,makesureyouvisittheapptodayandsearchforyournextdate.
Halliepicturedherspeeddatingmatchupsandshookherhead,turnedonthebesidelampandtexted:Thatsoundsawful.
Jack:Yougo,Igo.Let’sdothistogether,Piper.Mr.Right,theguywholikesyoumorethananyoneelseintheworld,isoutthere,justwaitingforyourlittlethumbtoswipehimjustright.
Hallie:Gross.TheonlywayI’mgoingonanotherdatealreadyisifIcanhaveTacoHutafterward.
Jack:Thatisactuallyagreatidea.Let’splandatesatthespeeddatingbar,andifthey’reabustwe’llgettacosafter.Cheeseonthebottom,ofcourse.
Hallie:Ofcourse.Okay—whydoesthatsoundlikeagoodidea?I’mprettysurethere’sareasonthisisterribleandI’mjustmissingit.
Jack:No,it’sgenius.Makeaconnectiontoday,andifadateisonthetable,textmeandwe’llplanaccordingly.
Hallie:Okay.
Jack:Attagirl.
Hallie:Whyareyouawakesoearlybtw?
Jack:Iliketogetinarunbeforework.
Hallie:Same.Butit’sSUNDAY.WhyareyouworkingonaSunday?
Jack:BecauseIhaveworktodo.
Hallie:Alsopleasetellmeyoudon’twearthosetinylittlerunningshorts.
Jack:Stoptrynapicturemeandmylusciousthighs,perv.
Hallie:DefinitelynotdoingTHAT.
Jack:Wait,wereyouaskingforapic?Wasthatwhatthatwas?
Hallie:Pleasedon’tmakemeblockyou.
Jack:Havealovelyday,TB.
Hallierolledoutofbedandwentforarunsinceshewasalreadyawake,andtheentiretime,shepracticedwhatshewasgoingtosaytoRuthiewhenshereturnedlaterthatday.Ilovelivingwithyou,butIreallythinkit’stimeformetogetmyownplacelikeanadult.Wecanstillhangoutallthetime.
OnlyRuthienevercamehomethatday.Shesentatextaroundtena.m.thatread,HavingtoomuchfuntocomebacktotheStates—willbebacknextweek,andHalliewasn’treallysurprisedtodiscoverthatherroommatewasoutofthecountry.
Aftershoweringpost-runandgoingonaquickStarbucksjaunt,shesettledintothecouchandstartedscrolling.Ittookawhile,butshefoundaguywhoseprofilelookedgoodenoughtoswipeandbeganmessaging.
Heseemedfunnyandnice,sowhenheaskedifshewantedtomeetupfordinneranddrinksonWednesdayafterwork,shecalledJack.
Heansweredafteronering,butshewonderedifhewasworking,becausehesaid,“ThisisJack.”
“Hey,it’sHallie.What’sup?”
Sheheardthesmileinhisvoicewhenhesaid,“Icannotbelieveyoucalledmeinsteadoftexting,boomer.”
“Doyouhaveasec?”
“Ofcourse,”hesaid,andshewonderedifhewashomeorattheoffice.
“Areyoustillworking?”sheasked.
“Yeah,butI’mcuttingoutsoon.”
“Okay,well,Ijusthadaguyaskmeoutontheapp.DoyouhaveanypotentialdatesthatyoucandoWednesdaynightatsixthirty-ish?”
“Who’stheguy?”
“HisnameisStephen,hedoesn’thuntorfish,andheisadentist.He’sintorunning,bingeingNetflix,andgettingrailed.”
“Whoa,dentist?That’sadatewithbonuspoints.”
“Right?AlthoughI’llprobablybeworriedthewholetimethathe’scheckingoutmyplaquesituation.”
“?‘Plaquesandracks’—Ibetthat’sStephen’smotto.”
“You’reapig.”
“Chill.It’sStephen’smotto,notmine.”
Halliesaidthroughherlaugh,“SodoyouhaveanypotentialdatesyoucandoWednesday?”
“Iactuallyhavetwo.”
“Shutyourstupidmouth!”Hallieyelledintothephone.“Sincelastnight,youhavechatteduptwogirlswithenoughofapotentialconnectiontofacilitateadate?”
“Fortherecord,”hesaid,“Istartedtalkingtooneofthemyesterdaybeforethespeeddatingthing.”
ThatmadeHalliepause.Shehadnoreasontoexpecthimtotellhereverything,butshefeltalittle…weird…thathehadn’tmentionedit.“SoWednesday…?”
“Thatworks.”
Shewentbacktothedatingappaftertheyhungupandsetthedateupwiththedentist,andwhentheyclosedoutthechatbecausehehadtogocoachhisniece’slittleleaguesoccerteam,Hallie—ovariesimploding—wassurprisinglyexcitedaboutthedate.
Stephenseemedpromising,andifallelsefailed,therewouldbetacos.
Jack
JacklookedatthecallerIDbeforeraisingthephonetohisear.“What’swrong?”
“Nothing,”Oliviasaid,soundingconfused.“Why?”
“Becausewedon’ttalkonthephone.Thisisweird.”
“Yeah,butI’msuperbored.Shoefullofbrokentoes,remember?”
“Oh,yes,that’sright,”hesaid,regrettingthedecisiontoanswerthephone.Hewastryingtofinishupworkandgohome,andheknewforafactthatOlivia’sboredomwasonlygoingtoslowhimdown.Still,heasked,“Howarethelittlenubbins,bytheway?”
“Lessswollen,”shesaid.“Andmarginallylesspurple.”
“Gross.”
“Right?”
“Listen,Liv,I’mtryingtowrapthingsuphere.Didyouactuallyneedsomething?”
“Rude,”shesaidunderherbreath,beforeadding,“IjustwantedtotellyouthatIreallylikeHallie.That’sall.”
“Okay…?”Hesaid,“Me,too.What’syourpoint?”
“Nothing.I’mjustreallygladshe’saroundtopushyouintofindingamatch.”
“Forfuck’ssake,Liv,whyareyousoobsessedwithmylovelife?”
“BecauseIworryaboutyoubeingsad,”shesaid.“Suemeforcaring.”
“IwashammeredatBilly’sthatnight.Willyouplease,fortheloveofGod,justforgetwhatIsaid?”
“Youjustsoundedsosadandlonely,Jack.”
“Iwaslit,notlonely.”
Hefeltlikeapatheticfuckwhenevershebroughtitup,becausehehadbeengoingthroughsomeweirdemophaseoverthepastcoupleyears.Hehadfriends,coworkers,family—hislifewasfullofpeople—yethefeltalonealot.
Evenwhenhewaswiththem.
Shit—thatistheliteraldefinitionofloneliness,isn’tit?
“Fine,youweren’tlonely.”Shesoundedutterlyunconvinced.“Justpromisemeyou’lltaketheappseriouslyandkeeptrying,evenwhenitsucks.”
“Iwillifyou’llpromisetobuttthehelloutofmylife.”
“Deal,”shesaid.
Hallie
Beforeshehadachancetogetoffthecouch,herphonestartedringing.
“Hello?”
“Hi,um,isthisHallie?”
“Yes…?”
“Oh,good.Hey,it’sLydiafromtheleasingofficeattheCommons.Therewasamiscommunicationwithinouroffice,andtheapartmentyou’llberentingisallcleanedandreadyifyouwantedtomoveinearly.”
“Oh.”Halliehadnotexpectedthat.“Um,howmuchmorewoulditbe?”
“That’sthething.”Theleasingagentloweredhervoiceandsaid,“Iscrewedupthepaperwork,sobasicallyifyouwanttomoveinnow,it’llbethesame.Rentwillbedueonthefirst,fortheamountlistedinyourlease.”
“SoIcanmoveinnowandgetacoupleweeksforfree?”Shecouldn’tbelieveit.Halliedidn’thavebadluck,perse,butshe’dneverhadespeciallygoodluck,either.
“IfyoucomeinwhenI’mworking.”
Halliewasallofasuddenscreaminglyexcited.“Howmuchlongerareyouworkingtoday?”
“Untilfour.”
“Ohmigod,I’monmyway.”
Hallierantohercar,crankedtheradio,andflewdowntown,besideherselfwithexcitementoverthissurprisingturnofevents.She’dneverlivedalonebefore,especiallynotinacool(thoughtiny)apartment,andshewaspumpedtomoveinearly.
Maybe,shethoughtassheexitedtheinterstateandfollowedtheoff-ramp,shecouldmoveallherstuffoutbeforeRuthiecameback(thelivingroomfurniturewasallRuthie’s,soitwouldn’tbeajerkmove).Thenshewouldn’thavetoworryaboutawkwardlytryingtopacksilentlyinherroom,andifRuthierespondedbadlytothenews,Halliecouldjustleaveandneverreturn.
Whenshepulledintotheapartmentoffice,herphonebuzzed.
Jack:Ialreadylostoneofmytwowomen.
ThatmadeHalliegiggle.What’dyoudo?
Jack:ItoldherthatIdidn’tlikeorangutans.
Hallie:Firstofall,isthistrue?Secondofall,thisupsether?
Jack:Iknowit’sacharacterflaw,butI’mterrifiedofallmonkey-likecreatures;alwayshavebeen.IsawaladyonOprahwhogotherfacerippedoffbyoneandIwasneverthesame.Sowhenshestartedtellingmeaboutanorangutanpreserveshewantedtovisit,Imayhavesaidsomethingsimilarto“I’dratherdiethangothere.”
Hallie:Youareamonster.Ihaveagoodfriendwholiterallycrieswhensheseesacuteorangutanbecauseshelovesthemsomuch.BUT.Yourcommenttorquedheroffthatmuch?
Jack:Mycommentbig-timetorquedher.Shewentonarantaboutthem,whichIdeserved,andthenshewentoffaboutundatablemen,whichIfeltwasalowblow.
Hallie:Whyisthisstorycrackingmeup?
Jack:Cuzyou’readick.What’reyoudoingrightnow?
Hallie:Justpulleduptomynewbuilding.They’relettingmemoveinearly!!!
Jack:WhataboutRuthie?
Hallielaughedandlookedoutherwindshield.FunnythatherememberedRuthie’sname.Sheleftmeamsgthatshe’snotcomingbackforanotherweek.
Jack:Soyou’rejustgoingtobegone?
Hallie:No,butIcanmovemystuffoutnow.Everythinginthelivingroomishers,soit’snotlikeshe’llevennotice,becausemybedroomdoorisalwaysclosed.
Jack:LMKifyouwanthelpmoving.
Hallie:Seriously?
Jack:I’maniceguy.
Hallie:Butareyou?
Jack:Sometimes.AndIlivenearby.
Hallie:Wellthen,yes.Iwanthelp.Please,pleasehelp.
Jack:When?
Hallie:I’mgettingthekeysnow,andthenIguesswheneveryouhavetimetodaywouldbegreat.Youdon’thaveatruck,doyou?
Jack:Iactuallydo.
Hallie:Shutup.
Jack:Iwillnot.
Hallie:Youdon’tseemlikeatruckguy.
Jack:Areyoucallingmeawuss?
Hallie:No.Ithinkmostguyswhodrivetrucksdoittoprovethey’remanly.YoustrikemeassomeoneconfidentenoughinhismasculinitytodriveaPrius.
Jack:SoyouAREcallingmeawuss.
Hallie:You’reanidiot.
Jack:Better,thanks.Callmewhenyou’redoneandwe’llhatchaplan.
Well,theplanturnedouttobesomethingalongthelinesof“justdoit.”Aftergettingthekeys,runninguptohernewplace,callingJack,anddancingaroundlikeamaniac,shewenthomeandthrewherstufftogether.
Jackshowedupanhourlaterandgottowork,haulingherbed,dresser,nightstand,anddeskoutthedoorlikehewastheRock.Shehelped,buttheybothknewshewasmorelikeaspotterthananequallifter.
Onasidenote,helookedverygoodincasualclothing.She’donlyeverseenhiminatux,naked,andinnicerdate-nightclothessofar,butthatday,hewaswearingfadedoldjeansandaCubsT-shirtthatwassowornitlookedbabysoft.Helookedlikethekindofguythey’dcastinacommercialforgrabbingbeerswiththeguysorpickinguptwo-by-foursatahomeimprovementstore.
Oncethebedofhistruckwasfullandherroomwasclearedout,shefollowedhimdowntowninhercar.Shewasalittleshell-shockedthatmerehoursearliershe’dhadnoplansforthedayandnowshewasmovingintohernewapartment,butitfeltgood.
Thiswasherspring.ChapterNINE
“You’resowrong,”Jacksaid,shakinghishead.“ItwasthelookonhisfacewhensheshowedupatPemberleywithherrelatives.Theguydidn’tevenhavetosayaword.Hebeamedlikealovesickfool.”
Theywerebothlyingontheirstomachsonthefloorofhernewapartment(shedidn’thaveacouchyet),watchingtheendofPride&Prejudice.Aftermovingeverythingin,they’ddecidedtoorderbeerandapizzaandwatchamoviesinceneitherofthemhadanythingelsegoingon.
“Idolovehisfacethere,”sheagreed,picturingMatthewMacfadyen’ssweetsmile.“Butthenear-kissintherainisthebestmoment.”
“Agreetodisagree,”Jacksaid,rollingontohissidetofaceher.“It’stoodevastatingwhentheypullback.”
“IfIdidn’tknowbetter—andIdo,sodon’tworry—I’dthinkyou’rekindofahopelessromantic.”Halliegrinnedandjustlookedathim;JackMarshallwasanabsolutequestionmarkofaguy.“Sohowmanytimeshaveyouseenthis,not-romantic-person?”
“Atleastfive,butit’sonlybecauseLivvieloveditandshewhinedtheloudestinthehouse.SheusuallywoncontroloftheTV.”
“You’reaverycomplexfellow,Marshall,”shesaidashesmiledbackather.
“Oh,Iknow,”hereplied,andhisblueeyesmovedalloverherface.
Themomentheld,andsomethingpassedbetweenthem.Itwasalmostasifthememoryoftheirpast—theexistenceoftheirnighttogether—suddenlyreareditshothead,andHalliewasveryawareofit.
“Ineedanotherbeer,”shesaid,climbingtoherfeetassheforcedhermouthtostayinitssmile,eventhoughshefeltunsettledallofasudden.“Wantsomething?”
“No,actually,I’vegottogetgoing,”hesaid,clearinghisthroatwhilepickinguphisbeerbottleandrisingtohisfeet.
“Well,thankyouforhelpingmemove.”Halliewalkedintothekitchen,openedthepizzabox,andgrabbedalukewarmslice.“Wantapiecefortheroad?”
“Nah,”hesaid,shovinghisfeetintohisshoesandpullingonhisjacket.“I’mgood,butthanks.”
Afterheleftandshetossedthepizzabox,Halliestartedworrying.Asshechangedintoherflannels,shewonderedifthatlittlesecondofweirdnesswasgoingtomakethingsdifferentforthem.Shedidn’twantitto,becauseshereallylikedhavinghimasherpartnerincrime.
Herphonebuzzed,andshewasdisappointedtoseeitwashermom.
Mom:Haveyougoneinforyourfinaldressfitting?
Yes,hermotherstillthoughtshewastenyearsold.
Hallie:Yes.
Mom:Whatdidyouthink?
Hallie:Ican’tremember.Fine,Ithink…?
Mom:Veryfunny.Areyoucomingoverthisweek?
HermothermadespaghettiandmeatballsalmosteveryWednesdaynight,andHallieusuallytriedtobethere.
Butshe’davoideditforthepastmonthastheweddingplanningampeduptoafreneticpace.Itwasallhermomandsistercouldtalkabout,whichshetotallyunderstood,butitusuallydevolvedintoadiscussionofhowtheywouldhaveanextraplus-onetoworkwithbecauseHalliewasn’tbringinganyone.
Andhowawkwarditmightbeforher,sinceBenwasthebestman.
Yes,hersisterwasmarryingthebestfriendofthemanwho’dshreddedHallie’sheart.
Theyusuallyloweredtheirvoiceswhentheydiscussedit,asiftheentirescenarioweretheworstpossiblethingthatcouldhappentoher,andshe’ddecideditwasbettertomissoutonmeatballsthanmaimafamilymember.
Hallie:IhaveplansWednesday,butI’llswingbyonThursdaytowatchDancingCenterfoldswithyou.
Mom:IhopeDarlagetseliminated.Hercha-chawasass.
Hallie:ButDelvin’ssambawasevenworse.
Mom:Hisbummadeitokay,though.
HalliewentoutontoherbalconyandtookadeepbreathofchillySeptemberair,thrilledbyherview.Thecitytwinkledinfrontofher,belowher,andshedidn’tthinkshe’deverwanttomovebacktothesuburbs.
Shelovedthebustleofdowntown,andshealsolovedtheutteradultnessoflivingalone.
Herphonebuzzed,butthistimeitwasJack.
Jack:HeyTB,arewecool?
Hallie:Iam.Thecoolest.
Jack:Forreal—youdidn’tgetfreakedaboutthatweirdmomentonyourlivingroomfloor?
Soithadn’tjustbeenher.He’dfeltit,too.Shetyped:Yeah,whatWASthat?
Jack:Ithinkitwasjusttwoyoung,healthypeoplehavingasplitsecondofnaturalchemistry.Probablyjusthappenedbecausewealreadybonked,soourbodiesknoweachother.
Hallie:Ewyoudidnotjustsaythat.
Jack:It’stotallynaturaltogetthatbonkingfeeling.Theimportantthingisthatweimmediatelyrememberedwedon’tlikeeachotherthatway,don’tyouthink?
Hallie:Wasn’tthatasong?“You’veLostThatBonkingFeeling”?Thatmadeherlaughassheleanedagainstthebalconyrailing.WellIamfinewithit,whateveritwas,aslongasyouare.
Jack:Iam.Itneverhappened.
Hallie:Good.
Jack:Great.Sohaveyoutalkedtothedentisttoday?
Hallie:Notsincethismorning,whenhetoldmehehadtogocoachhisniece’ssoccerteam.
Jack:Wow,heopenedwithatotalhormonalcrusher,didn’the?
Hallie:Yeah,hedid.
Jack:Diditwork?
Hallie:Itdidn’thurt.Shecouldn’tpictureStephen’sfaceatthemoment,butshecouldpictureJack’s,soshetexted:Tellmeaboutyourgirl.
Jack:HernameisCarlie,sheteacheseighthgrademath,andshe’saredhead.Likessandvolleyballandgettingrailed.
Hallie:Isshefuntotalkto?
Jack:I’mnotsureyet.
Hallie:Isupposethat’swhatWedisfor,right?
Jack:Isupposeso.IguessI’llseeyouWednesday,then.
Hallie:Iguessso.ChapterTEN
“Hi,um,I’msupposedtomeetsomeone—”
“Hallie?”Stephenappearedbesidethehostess,smilingandsettingahandonthehostess’sarminawaythattoldherhewaswhoHalliewaslookingfor.
“Hey,Stephen.”Wow.Helookednice;like,really,reallynice.Forstarters,hewaswearingkhakipantsandablackcashmeresweater.Hisbrownhairwasthickandstyledinthatsweetspotthathitonwell-coiffedwithoutbeinghigh-maintenance,andhewaswearingglassesthatmadehimlooklikeheneededabookinhishand.
“It’ssonicetofinallymeetyou,”hesaid,givingHalliejustthekindestgrin.
“You,too,”shereplied,unabletoholdinhersmittensmile.
Hepointedtowheretheirtablewas,andshefollowedhimover.ShealmosttrippedwhenshesawJack,seatedatthetablerightbesidethem.Hiseyescaughthersandwidenedjustthetiniestamount,showinghewasjustassurprisedasshewasthattheyweresittinginsuchcloseproximity.
Sherecoveredandtookaseat,remindingherselftofocusonStephen.
“Iusedtoeathereallthetime,backwhenIwasincollege,”hesaid,reachingoutforhismenu.“I’msogladyousuggestedit.”
“Me,too,”shesaid,grabbinghermenuandquicklymuttering,“Notthedentalschoolpart,buttheother.It’smyfirsttimehere.”
Hegavealittlelaugh.“Noted.”
“Sowhat’sgood,then?”sheasked,eyeballingtheappetizers.“Whatwasyourfavoritedish?”
“Thelambwithmushroomrisotto,”hesaid,andHallierealizedthathiscollegeexperiencehadbeenvastlydifferentfromherownTopRamenversion.“Youhavetotryit.”
Shit.Halliewasapickyeater.Pickyasinmostthirdgradershadabroaderpalatethanherown.Shelikedburgersandchickenstripsandtheoccasionalspaghetti,butlamb?Withmushroomsintherisotto?No,nothankyou.Butsinceshe’daskedhisopinion,shekindofhadtotakehissuggestion,right?
“Iwaskindoffeelinglikeaburger,butmaybenow…”Shetrailedoff,hopingitwouldprompthimtosay,Getwhateversoundsgood
“Getthelamb.”Hesmiled,snatchedhermenuoutofherhand,andsaid,“Youwon’tregretit.Iorderedyouaglassofchardonnay,bytheway.”
“Okay.”Halliereachedforherglass.“Thankyou.AndI’mtrustingyouonthelamb.”
“Goodgirl.”Heclearedhisthroat,pickeduphiswineglass,andsaid,“Sohowwasworktoday?Didyoumakeitthroughthemarathonmeeting?”
She’dtoldhimaboutthequarterlybusinessmeetingsthathadbeengoingonsinceMonday,andshewasimpressedhe’dremembered.“Imadeit.It’samazinghowchallengingitistolookinterestedinveryboringinformation.”
“Ibet.”
Shesaid,“I’msureyouhavetolistentolotsoframblingfromyourpatients.”
“Yeah,butIcanstickmyhandsintheirmouthandmakeitstop,”hequipped,whichmadeherlaugh.
SheglancedatJack’stable,whereheandhisdateappearedtobedeepinconversation.Shewasveryprettyandwearingthecutestreddress,sounlessshewasatotalbore,Jackwasofftoagreatstart.
ShelookedbackatStephen,thedentist,andfeltprettygoodaboutherstart,aswell.
Theystartedtalkingabouthisjob,andhewassuperinterestingandfunnyashetoldherdentalhorrorstories.Sheinterjectedwithherownstories,andshewassurprisinglyrelaxedandcomfortable.
Shewasactuallyhavingagoodtimeonherdate.
Thefoodcame,andshedidn’twanttoeatlamborrisotto.Butshestartedwiththemeat,whichwastolerableifshedidn’tpicturefluffylittlebabylambs,andshepushedaroundtherisottosoitlookedlikeshe’deatensome.
WhilesayingalotofMmmm,thisissogood
“Soweshouldprobablycoverrelationships,right?Isn’tthatafirst-datething?”
ThatmadeHalliesetdownherforkandtakeabigol’gulpofherchardonnaybeforesaying,“Um,sure…?”
“IjustwanttoputitouttherethatI’mdivorced.”
“Oh.”Halliedidn’treallyknowwhattosay.Shedidn’thaveaproblemwithsomeonebeingdivorced,butshealsodidn’twanttosquealsomethinginanelikeIlovedivorce.Thewayshesawit,divorcewasnodifferentfromherbreakupexceptforthefactthathe’dhadapartywithformalwearandshehadn’t.
“Wegotmarriedyoung,Iguess,anddidn’trealizeuntilitwastoolatethatwedidn’thavemuchincommon.”
Halliegaveanodandsaid,“Ithappens.”
“Theworstpartwastellingthetwins.”
“Ohmigosh.”Halliesetdownherglassandclearedherthroat.“Ididn’tknowyouhadtwins.Howoldarethey?”
“Fouryearsold,”hesaid,hissmilereturningashetalkedaboutthekidsheclearlyadored.“They’rereallyincredible.”
“That’ssuchafunage,”shesaid,hermindalittleblownthathehadn’tincludedthatonhisprofile.She’dneverconsideredthepossibilitythatshemightfindsomeoneonthedatingappwhohadchildren.Shecouldpotentiallybecomeastepmom?God,shedidn’tevenwanttogothere.
“Itis.They’vefinallystoppedputtingeverythingintheirmouthsandfallingasleepontopofme.”
ThatmadeHalliealittlegooeyinside,picturingthishandsomemanwithsleepingmunchkinsdrapedalloverhim.Hereallywasahormonaldestroyer,wasn’the?
“Wow,howdoyoutellsomeonesoyoungaboutdivorce?”sheasked.Herownparentsjustlivedbytheyou-irritate-me-but-till-death-do-us-partmotto.
“MyexandIweresuperemotionalwhenwesatthemdown,”hesaid,gettingchokedup,“butwewerejusthonest.Wesaid,‘Listen,whenweboughtyoutwoandbroughtyouhome,wehadeveryintentionofstayingtogetherforever.’?”
Hallienarrowedhereyes.Hadhejustsaid“bought”?
“?‘Butsometimesforeverisn’tpossible,andthat’sokay.Welovebothofyou,butwe’regoingtohavetosplityouup.’?”
Halliestilljustkepthearingthewordboughtashecontinuedspeaking.Hewasblinkingbacktears,clearlyveryemotional,butshewashavingahardtimeempathizing,becauseshecouldn’tfigureoutwhathe’dsaid.Bought?!
“It’sneveridealtosplitupyourkids,toeachtakeoneandgoyourseparateways,butsomehowthatseemsbetterthanalifetimeofforcedinteractionsthatwouldsurelyendinfights,right?”
Halliepursedherlipsbeforesaying,“Sothetwinswereadopted…?”
Hesmiledguiltilyandsaid,“Iwouldn’tsayadopted,perse,becausewewantedtomakesurewegottheexactkindwewanted.”
Halliejuststaredathim,thegooeyfeelinggone.Driedup.Turnedtodust.
“Iknow,Iknow—rescueisthethingtodo.”Hesighedandsteepledhisfingersunderhischin.“ButwereallywantedLabradoodlesfromthesamemother.”
Dogs?Hewastalkingabouthisdogs?Surelyhecouldn’thavethoughtthatwasobvious,couldhe?Halliecouldn’tstophereyebrowsfrombunchingtogetherasshesaid,“Sothey’renotactuallytwins.”
Nowhiseyebrowswentdown.“No,theyare.”
“Twindogsareactuallysuperrare.”Hallieknewitwassplittinghairs,butshewassuddenlyirritatedashellatthedentist.“Onepregnancywithjusttwopuppiesinthelitter.”
“Oh.”Heclearedhisthroatandlookedconfusedbyherwords.“Well,they’reidenticalLabradoodlesfromthesamelitter,then.”
Hallierubbedherlipstogetherandtoldherselfitwasnobigdeal.Sotheguytalkedabouthisdogsliketheywerehischildren;thatwasn’tbad,right?Atleasthewasn’tadickwhohatedanimals.Sheinhaledthroughhernose—chill,Hal—beforesaying,“Soyoueachwalkedawaywithoneofthedogswhenyousplitup…?”
Henodded,andhiseyesfilledwithtearsagain.“OneofthereasonswewantedLabradoodleswasbecausethey’reveryemotionalanimals,butthatwaswhatmadetellingthemsotough,y’know?”
Hallienoddedherheadinanunderstandingway,butshewasstruggling.“Ican’tevenimagine.”
Shekepttryingtofindempathy,becauseshewasaveryempatheticperson,butDr.Stephenwasliterallycryingatdinnerbecausehewasworriedabouttheemotionalscarsheandhisex-wifemight’veleftontheirdogs.
Dogsshe’dthoughtwerehumantoddlersfiveminutesbefore.
Oncehe’dwipedhiseyesandthey’dmovedontoasafetopic—thenewmovietheateroutonthewestsideoftown—sheexcusedherselftogototherestroom.Butasshecrossedtherestaurantandheadedforthehallwaythatledtothefacilities,shewasfilledwithdisappointment.
Becausethedogconversation,ormaybethemisunderstandingaboutkids,hadbroughtontheick.She’dlostthatinitialattractionforthedentist,andshecouldtellitwaslostforever.
“How’sitgoingwiththedoc,TB?”
Sheturnedaround,andtherewasJack,alsoenteringthebathroomhallway.Hewasgivingheragrin,andshefeltherfacefallintoahugesmileasshefoundcomfortinherpartnerincrime.“Oh,myGod,Jack,youwon’tevenbelieveit.”
Shegrabbedhissleeveandjerkedhimclosertotheladies’roomsotheywereoutofsightfromthetable.Shelookedupintothoseteasingblueeyesandquicklytoldtheabsurdstory.“Imean,amIbeingabitch?IsheadelightfuldogloverandI’mjustanass?”
Henarrowedhiseyes,andashelookeddownather,shewasstruckagainbyhowtallhewas.“Didheliterallycallthemhiskids,orwasthatyouparaphrasing?”
Shesquintedandrecalledtheconversation.“Atfirsthecalledthemthetwins,butthenyeah,hetotallycalledthemkids.”
“You’renotwronghere;that’sbonkers.”
“Thankyou.”Halliefeltalittlebetter.“How’sCarlie?”
“Great,exceptshetoldmeshewantstobe‘treatedlikeaqueen.’?”
“So?”Jackseemedlikehe’dtreatasignificantotherwell.“Isitthathardtotreatawomanwell?”
“No,afuckingactualqueen.”Heglancedoverhisshoulder,likehewasworriedaboutgettingbusted,andsaid,“Shewantsamanwhowillputheronapedestal,showerherwithgifts,defertoherwishes—herwords,notmine—andneverlookatanotherwomanagain.”
“Youarelying,”Halliesaid,leaningherbacksideagainstthewall.“Noonewouldsaythatonafirstdate.”
“Itwasmyfault.”Heputhishandsinhispocketsandsaid,“Imadethemistakeofsaying,‘Iwouldtotallyrespectawomanwhojuststraightupsayswhatshe’slookingfor.’?”
“Well.”Hallierolledhereyes.“Youaskedforit.”
“Right?”
“Stephen’sgoingtocomelookingformeorthinkIhavediarrhea—Ihavetogo.”
“Doyouwantout?”Jackasked,lookingconcerned,andshewasn’tsurewhythesweetexpressiononhisfacemadeherstomachflip.
“What?”
“Doyouwantoutofyourdateearly,orareyoustillfeelingitout?”
Thatmadeherlaugh.“Hereferstohisdogsas‘thetwins,’soIdefinitelywantout.ButIdon’twanttoberude;Stephen’saniceguy.”
Jacktookasteptowardthemen’sroomdoorandsaid,“I’vegotyou.Justblinkthreetimeswhenyouwanttoditchfortacos.”
Halliegiggledandblinkedthreetimeswithobnoxiousobviousness.
Hegaveherachinnodbeforetheybothwentintotheirrespectiverestrooms.WhenHalliegotbacktothetable,Stephenwasscrollingthroughhisphone.
“SorryItooksolong,”shesaid,feelingguilty,“butmymomtextedanditwasawholething.”
“Oh,iseverythingokay?”
Helookedgenuinelyconcerned,andshewasabitbummedthatshe’dgottentheick.Becausehewasattractive,successful,andfriendly—aperfectcatchforsomanypeople.Heshould’vebeentheperfectcatchforher,butno,hehadtocaretoomuchabouthisdogs.
Whichshedidn’tevenknowcouldhappen.
Wassheamonster?
“Oh,it’sfine,mymotherisjust—”
Thehostessshowedupatthetableandsaid,“Excuseme,areyouHalliePiper?”
“Yes…?”HallieglancedatStephen,thenbackatthehostess.
“Yourmothercalled,andshesaidtotellyouthatyour‘AuntieHelenisatitagain,andyouneedtomeetthemintenminutesifthere’sanyshotofstoppingherfrommakingthehugestmistakeofherlife.’?”
Hallieswallowed.“What?”
“Isthiswhatyourmotherwastextingyouabout?”Stephenasked.
“Huh?”HallielookedatStephen.
“Inthebathroom,”Stephensaid,asifhewaswaitingforhertocatchup.“Yousaiditwasawholething…?”
“Oh.”Sheblinkedandtriedthinkingthroughwhatwashappening.She’dmadeupalieabouttextinghermom,butnowJack’splanwas…involvinghermom…?Hallienoddedandsaid,“Yeah,thisisthat.Thatwholething.Um,Ithoughtshewasoverit,butclearlyshestillthinksmyauntneedshelp.”
Hallierolledhereyesandshookherheadasifshefoundtheentirethingexhausting.
“Doyouneedtogomeetthem?”heasked.
“Iprobablyshould,”Halliesaid.“Imean,we’realreadyfinishedwithdinner,sowe’realmostdoneanyway,right?”
Stephenlookedlikehewastryingtofigureoutifshewascrappingoutonthedateorifshewaslegitimatelyinpossessionofawackoauntandoverbearingmother.Henodded.“Yes.Yes,youshouldtotallygo.”
ShegatheredherpursebeforetheyexchangedthelittleI’llcallyougoodbyethatalmostneverresultedinanactualcall.Shesaid,“Thankyousomuchfortonight,Stephen.”
“Anytime,”hesaid,andthenshewavedandwasvirtuallyrunningoutthefrontdoor.
SheorderedamargaritaattheTacoHutbar,thenwalkedstraightouttothebackpatio.SomehowshejustknewJackwouldbeoutthere,andshewasright.Hewasleaningbackinachairwithalowballoftequilainhishand,smirkingashewatchedherapproach.
Thewayhewaslookingathermight’veseemedlikesomethingatonetime,butnowshewasconvincedJackwasright,thatitwasjustthenormalchemistrythatexistedbetweentwopeoplewho’dpreviouslyhadsex.
“Well,thatwastheweirdestescapecallinthehistoryofdating,”Halliesaid.
“That’swhatmakesitgenius,”Jacksaid,kickingoutthechairacrossfromhimatthetablesoshecouldsitonit.“Youmakeitsobatshitconfusingthattheotherpersonhasnochoicebuttosay,‘Youshouldgo.’?”
“Idon’tknowifI’dcallitgenius,butit’scertainlyentertaining,”Halliesaidassheploppeddowninherseatandtookasipofherdrink.“Iknowwejustate,butIkindofwantataco.”
“Alreadyorderedyouone.”
“Youdid?”
“Chickentacowithcheeseonthebottom,”hesaid.
Shealmostchokedasshelaughedandswallowedatthesametime.“Youremembered!”
“Imean,what’sthepointofcold,hardcheese?”
ItwasimpossiblenottogrinatJackashesattherebeingthoughtful,smug,andabsolutelyadorable.“You’veneversoundedsmarter,Marshall.”
Hetippedhisglass.“Why,thankyou,Piper.”
Theyjustsatthereforaminute,grinningattheirridiculoussituation.
“So,wanttohearsomethingweird?”Hallieasked,stirringherdrinkwithherstraw.
“Always,”hesaid.
“WhenIwaswalkingoverhere,Irealizedthatmynon-matchdatetonightactuallygavemehopeforfindingMr.SoulMate.”
Hetiltedhisheadalittle.“Howso?”
“BecauseStephenisagoodguy.Notforme,butstillacatch—he’ssuccessful,nice,andattractive.Soeventhoughitdidn’tworkout,Ihavehopeinthepossibilities.ThenextStephencouldbetheone.”
Jackgaveanod.“Imean,Isupposethat’swhatdatingis.Findingthequalitypersonwho’smorethanjustagoodcandidate.”
“Right?”Shecrossedherarmsandsaid,“Ijustfeellikeitcouldbeclose.”
“YourwordstoDitka’sears,Piper.”
“Youhavetostopsayingthat.”
TheyendedupclosingdowntheTacoHutaftergettingwaytoointobartrivia.Halliewasgreatatpopculture,whileJackwasridiculouslygoodathistory,sotheyhadanimpossibletimewalkingawaywhentheywereinfirstplace.
Aftertherestaurantclosed,theywalkedhome,whichHallietipsilydecidedwasthebestperkoflivingdowntown.
“Seriously,Ishouldsellmycar,”shesaid,lovingthefeelofthecityatnight.Allthecolorfullights,thecarnoises,thesmellsofdeliciousfoodandgarbage—itwasintoxicating.“Ilovethis.”
“Watchthemud,”Jacksaid,pointingtothethicksludgeonthesidewalk.“Youdon’twanttoruinthoseboots.”
Halliesmiledathimandbumpedhisarmwithhers.“Iknewyou’dnoticedmyprettysuedeboots.”
“Ionlynoticedbecauseyoulookedalittlewobblyafteryourbeers.”Hegrabbedherarmandstoppedherforwardmotion.“Look.”
They’dhitaspotthatwasapparentlyatthebottomofthehill,becausetheentiresidewalkwascoveredinthickmud.
“Gah—mybootsaregoingtogetruined,”shewhined.
Jackshookhisheadwithasighandsaid,“Geton.”
“What?”
Hebentalittleatthewaistandgesturedtohisback.“Piggybackride.”
Hermouthdroppedopenandshecouldn’tstopthegiggle.“Areyouforreal,Jack?”
“Hoponandshutup,Hal.”
Sheclimbedontohisback,andhestraightenedandcarriedhertoherbuildingasifshewereaslightasafeather.Sheburiedhercoldnoseinhiswarmneck,gettingbuzzedonthesmellofsoapandJack,buthedidn’tcomplaintoomuch.
“Yournoseissocold,”hesaid.
“Butyourneckissowarm,Ican’thelpmyself,”shereplied,buryinghernosealittledeeperintohiscollar.
“Fine.”
Whentheyfinallyreachedherbuilding,sheclimbedoffhisbackandpulledadollaroutofherpurse.
“Foryou,sir,”sheteased,holdingoutthemoney.“Thankyouforseeingmehome.”
“Adollar?”Hemadeaface,snatchedthedollarfromherfingers,andsaid,“I’mworthmorethanthat,fortherecord,butI’lltakeit.”
“Whatever.Justwalkcarefullytherestoftheway,okay?”
Heraisedhiseyebrows.“Worriedaboutme?”
“Youwish.”Sheraisedherkeyfobandpulledopenthedoorwhenitbeeped.“MorelikeI’mworriedaboutyoudyingbeforeIgetmyfreevacation.”ChapterELEVEN
Hallieexitedoutofthespreadsheetandglancedatthetime:fourthirty.
She’dworndateclothestoworkthatday,becauseshewasmeetingAlexfordrinksandappetizersassoonassheloggedout.SheandJackhadgoneoutontwomoremehdatesthatendedwiththematTacoHut,butafterthelastone,she’dstartedtalkingtoaguynamedAlex,andheseemedsurprisinglypromising.
Hewasanadorableblondrealestateagentwhowasactuallyfuntotext;wittyandquick,justlikeJack.
Andwhenhe’dcalledher,therehadbeenflirtychemistryoverthephone.
“Hallie.”Claire,thenewreceptionist,poppedherheadintoHallie’sofficeandsaid,“There’saRuthieSomeoneheretoseeyou.”
“Oh,shit.”
Thereceptionistlookedconcerned.“I’msorry,wasIsupposedto—”
“No,no,it’samething,Claire.Canyoupleasesendherback?”
“Surething.”
Halliebreathedindeeplythroughhernose,andbeforeshecouldeventhink,Ruthieranintoheroffice,closedthedoorbehindher,andsatdownintheguestchair.“Whatintheactualfuck,Hal?”
Ruthiedidn’tlookmad,orevensad.Shelooked…confused,maybe?Shewaswearingalongblackdress,pairedwithacaptain’shatandredglasses—glassesthroughwhichshepeeredatHallie.
Hallietriedtocomeupwithgoodwords.“Ruthie,Iwantedtotalktoyoubeforeyousaw—”
“Thatallofyourstuffisgone?Toolate,bruh.Ican’tbelieveyoumovedout.”
“Okay,here’sthething—”Halliestarted.
“It’sbecauseofmyallergies,isn’tit?”
“What?”
Ruthiesaid,“Iknowthatyouwantacat,Hallie.”
Hallie’smouthsnappedshut.She’dwantedacatforahotminuteaftersplittingwithBen,butshe’dliterallynevergivenitathoughtsince.“Oh,Ruthie,Idon’t—”
“Igetit,butcanIatleastgowithyoutopickitout?”
Halliedidn’tevenknowwhattosay.Except,“What?”
“BecauseI’vealwayswantedacat,too.IfIwereyou,Iwouldabsolutelymoveout,too,ifitmeantthatIcouldhaveone.ButsinceIcan’t,canIatleasttakeashittonofallergymedsandtagalong?”
“Um—”
“Oh,God.”Ruthie’seyesgothuge.“Wasitsomethingelse?Wastheresomeotherreasonthatyou’removingout?”
“No,um,it’sjustthe,uh,thecatthing.”
???
“Soyou’reseriouslygoingtotheshelterwithhertomorrow?”
Halliegrinnedandraisedherglass.“Tocowardice.”
Alexraisedhis,aswell,andsaid,“Tocowardice.Andcats.”
Halliegiggled;shewashavingagreattime.SheandAlexhaddownedaplateofnachosandwerestartingonmozzarellasticks,andtheywerebothstillhavingfun.Shecouldn’tbelieveit,butthingsfeltkindofpromisingwithhim.
“Ineedtolookupgoodcatnames,”Halliesaid.
“WhataboutWhiskers?”Alexasked.
“Cliché.”
“Garfield?”hesuggested.
“Tired.”
“Ann-Margret?”
Hallieraisedhereyebrowsandtiltedherhead.“Nowyou’retalking.”
TheyspentthenexttenminuteslaughingasAlexgoogledterriblecatnames.Sheexcusedherselftogototherestroom,andtheminutesheenteredthehallway,sheturnedandwaitedforJack.
Whodidnotdisappoint.
Hecamearoundthecorner,wearinghisusualsarcasticsmile.Helookedreallygoodinhisblacksweatervest,whitebutton-down,andblackpants,shethought.
Hewasaverywell-dresseddater.
“So…?”heasked,thescentofhisexpensive-but-subtlecolognefindinghernose.
“SoI’mactuallyhavingagreattime.”
“Shutyourface.”Hiseyebrowsslammedtogetherandhiseyesmovedalloverherface,likehewassearchingfortheanswer.“Forreal?”
“Icannotbelieveitmyself.Alexiscute,hilarious,andreally,reallyfun.Youwouldlikehim.”
Herolledhiseyes.“Doubtit.”
“Howaboutyou?HowarethingswithKayla?”HisdatewasastunningPhDcandidatewholookedlikeshecouldbeZendaya’soldersister.Halliewantedtovomitwhenshe’dseenthemtogether—theylookedlikeacelebritycouple—soshewasguessingJackwaspleased.“Noickyet?”
Heswallowedandjustsaid,“Notyet.”
Hallieleanedherfaceinalittlecloser,andshesawhimsniff.Shewonderedifherperfumewastoostrongasshesaid,“Ican’tbelieveI’msayingthis,Jack,butIwanttoscratchtheescapeplan.”
“Imean,”hesaid,hisfaceunreadableasheshrugged,“it’sstillearly.There’splentyoftime—”
“No,I’mserious.Icantell.Noneedfortacos.”Hallieknewshewasbeaminglikeafool,butshecouldn’thelpit.Shewasactuallyhavingagooddateforonce,soshefeltlikejumpingupanddown.“Like,Idon’twantdinnertoend—it’sthatgood.”
Jackgaveherawinkandsaid,“Someone’smovinginonthatvacation.”
“YourlipstoDitka’sears,”shesaid,winkingbackathimbeforegoingintotheladies’room.
Jack
“SothenIwasstuckinthelabfortheentireweekend.”
Hesmiledathisdateashereachedforhiswater.“Notexactlywhatyou’dplanned,eh?”
“Notatall.”Kaylagrinnedandlaunchedbackintothestory,butJackwasdistractedbythetablebehindher.
Halliewaslaughingandsmilingatherdatelikeshewantedtoeathimwhole.Thereisnowaythatguycanbethatfunny.Noway.Buteverytimeshelaughed,itwaslikethenoisefoundhisears;hecouldn’tnothearit.Andthewayherredlipsturnedupwhenshesmiled—didn’tsheknowthemessageshewassending?Theguywasgoingtothinkhehadher,forGod’ssake,justbytheflirtygrinshewasgivinghim.
JackgenuinelywantedHaltofindsomeone,butthisguywasnotit.Hishairhadsomuchproductinithe’dprobablycombustifhewalkedtooclosetoanopenflame,andtherewassomethingaboutthewayhelookedatHalliethatwascreepy
Justlookingattheguyasheshit-grinnedathermadehimannoyedashell.
AndthedudewaswearingChuckTaylorswithablazer;didhethinkhewasafuckingtalkshowhost?
“Sotomakealongstoryshort,theyshutdownthecollegeandarrestedthedude.”Kaylatuckedherhairbehindherearsandsaid,“Canyouevenbelievethat?”
“No,”hesaid,feelinglikeshitforzoningout.Hewasn’tanasshole,andKayladeservedhisfullattentionontheirdate,whethertheyhadaconnectionornot.
“Itwasabsolutelybonk—”Herphonestartedringing,andwhenshelookeddownatthedisplayshesaid,“Ineedtotakethis—it’smyroommate.Willyouexcusemeforasecond?”
“Ofcourse,”Jacksaid,wonderingifitwasabailoutcall.Heprettymuchassumedeveryoneonafirstdateemployedone,sohehadnoillwillifthat’swhatitwas.
Buttheminuteshesteppedaway,hepulledouthisphone.
Hetexted:Yousureaboutnotacos,TB?
Hehitsend.
And…wait.HewatchedHallieglancedownatherphone,readthemessage,thenputherphonebackinherpocketwithoutresponding.
Sheignoredhistext.
Seriously?
Forreasonshecouldn’texplain,thatbotheredhim.Alot.Wherewashispartnerincrime?Wastheiralliancenolongerathingnowthatshe’dlandedadatesheconsidereddecent?Hefeltalittlekickedtothesideasshewentaboutherdatelikeshedidn’tevenknowhim.
Kaylareturnedtothetable,andJackmanagedtohaveanicedinnerwithher.Shewassweetandsmartandfunny,andhecouldn’tfindasinglethingwrongwithher.
Sowhywasheinahurrytofinishthedate?
Hecouldtellshewantedhimtokissherwhenhewalkedhertohercar,buthewasn’tfeelingitanddidn’twanttobefake.Hetoldherhe’dcallher,andhewenthome.
Irritatedasfuckandentirelyunsettledbytheblondcreep.
Hewaitedafewhours,andatmidnightfinallygaveintohisurges.
Jack:Didyoumakeithomeokay?
Hallie:OhmigodJackIwantedtotextyoubutIwasafraidyouwererailingthePhDcandidateorathomesleeping!
Jack:I’mdoingboth.What’sup?
Hallie:Sodinnerwasgreat,andthenhewalkedmehome.Hewassuperchattyandtherewaszeroawkwardness,andthenHEKISSEDME.
Jack:And…?
Hallie:AHHHMAZING!!!HedidthelittlefaceholdthingandIwasdonefor.Smallamountoftonguebutnottoomuch.Itwaskissperfection.
Jack:Thatseemskindofforward,doesn’tit?
Hallie:What?Kissingonthefirstdate?Areyouapuritannow?
Jack:Ijustmeanyoudon’tevenreallyknowtheguy.
Hallie:Ido,too.He’sinrealestate,playsslow-pitchsoftball,hisfavoritecolorissalmon,andhelikesgettingrailed.
Hisfavoritecolorwasfuckingsalmon?
Jack:Soundslikeadipshit.
Hallie:IKNOWWHATYOU’REDOING.
Jackdidn’tknowwhy,butherwordsmadehimfeelguiltyofsomething.Hetexted:Whatdoyoumean?
Hallie:Youwanttowinthebet,soyou’retryingtosabotagethefirstgoodmatchI’vehad.
Jack:What’shisnameagain?
Hallie:AlexAnderson.
Jack:I’mlookinghimup.
Hallie:What?Don’t.Don’tdoanythingstupid.
Jack:I’mnot.JustgooglingMr.AA.
Hallie:DidyoudoanygooglingwithDr.Gorgeous?
Jack:Ileftherathercarandwalkedhomeallalonebecauseyouditchedme.
Hallie:WeprobablyneededabreakfromTacoHutanyway.I’vegainedapoundsincewestartedourarrangement.
Jack:Youlookgreat—don’tgiveup.
Hallie:Hey.DoyouwanttogowithmeandRuthietofindacattomorrow?
Jack:Firstofall,whatthefuck—acat?Second,youstillhaven’ttoldher?
Hallie:I’mcallingyounow.
Hisphonerang,andheraisedittohisearasheleanedbackagainsttheheadboardandwatchedSportsCenter.“Hey,Piper.”
“SoRuthieshowedupatmyofficetoday,wonderingwheremystuffhadgone.”
“Oh,snap.”
“Right?”
Jacklistenedasshelaunchedintoaramblingstoryaboutherweirdroommateandpetadoption.SomethingaboutthewayHallietoldthestoryremindedhimofthewayshe’dbeeninthekitchenofthehotelthenightofthewedding.
Bossy,self-deprecating,funny,andcharmingasfuck.
“Sowe’regoingrightateightbeforeworktoadoptacat.Ruthieisalot,soIwashopingyou’dwanttojoinus.Bethesaneoneinourcat-grabbingtrio.”
“MaybeyoushouldaskAlex,”hesaid,thenimmediatelyregrettedit.
“Idon’twantmypettobeaffiliatedwithapotentialloveinterest,”shesaid,andhethoughtshesoundedsleepy.Hervoicewasjustalittledeeper,asmidgequieter,thanusual.Shesaid,“Itcouldmakethingsverycomplicated.I’dratherpickoutmycatwithmyfriendssotherewillbenoillcatwillifIbreakhisheartorviceversa.”
Hesaid,“Ican’tbelieveyou’regettingacattoavoidupsettingher.”
“Smallprice,really.”
Thatmadehimlaughbecauseitwassoridiculous.“Apetthatyouhavetofeedandcleanupafter,tilldeathdoyoupart,isasmallprice?”
“Ialwayswantedacat.”Hecouldalmosthearhershrugwhenshesaid,“Andifyoucanhandlehavingacat,I’mcertainIcan.”
JacklookeddownatMeowgi,asleeponhislap.
“Fine,”hesaid,nothatingtheideaofhangingwithHalliebeforework.Healwaysgotupatfivethirtytorun,sohewould’vebeenupearly,regardless.“I’llpickyouupatseven.Ineedcoffeebeforethiswholething.”
“Youdelightfulboy,”shesaid,asmileinhervoice.“I’llhaveRuthiemeetusattheshelter,becauseyoudon’twantherridinginyourcar.It’simpossibletogetthesmellout.”
“Oh,God,”hesaid,socuriousaboutherformerroommate.“Whatsmell?”
“It’slikeamixbetweenpatchouli,onions,andvanilla.”
“Caretoexplain?”
“Ican’t.”Itsoundedlikeshewasmovingaroundwhenshesaid,“She’ssmelledlikethatsincethedayImether.AndIknowforafactthatshetakesatleastthreeshowersaday,soitisn’tbodyodor.”
“IamterrifiedandthrilledtofinallymeetyourRuthie.”
“Iamthrilledandterrified,aswell.Sweetdreams,Jack.”
“Sweetdreamstoyou,TB.”ChapterTWELVE
“Comeon,Jack,”Halliesaid,grinningfromwhereshewassittingonthefloorwithanenormousorangetabbyonherlap.“Ruthie’sright.Youhavetoseeifyoutwopassthefriendcompatibilitytest.”
Itwasasinine.Theentirevisithadbeenabsolutelyasininesofar,andhisabshurtlikehe’djustleftthegymbecausehe’dbeenlaughingsodamnhard.
Ruthie,Hallie’sbeautifulbaldfriendwhowaswearingwhatlookedtobeapirate’sshirtandbootyshorts(withherDocs,ofcourse),hadinsistedthatwhatevercatHallieselectedhadtoelicitemotionsfromallthreeofthem.
Halliefellinstantlyinlovewiththefattestoldcatshe’deverseen,andwhenshe’dputhimonherlap,it’dseemedlikefate.Thecatstartedpurringandpushinghisfaceintoherhandandholyshit,itseemedlikeHalliehadfoundheranimal.
Thenbatshit-crazyRuthiemadeherstatementaboutthefriendcompatibilitytest,andshe’dtakenthecatfromHallie.Thesecondshecradledhiminherarms,he’dliftedoneofhismammothpawsanddeliveredathree-punchsmackdownrighttoherforehead.
Jackhadlaughedhisassoff.
ButRuthiehadn’tletthecatgo.She’dprofessedthatshelovedhisenergyandwasdrawntohispassion,soshesattherewhilethethingsmackedhertwomoretimesandthenboltedforthedoor.
Thenthegirlstartedsneezingbecauseshewasallergic,andonceHalliegotthecatbackinherarms,hesettledrightdownandwentbacktopurring.
“ComesitdownrightnexttolittleHallie,”Halliecrooned,pattingthefloorbesideher.“Iwanttoseeifhekicksyourassornot.”
Therewassomethingaboutherfacewhenshewasbeingasmartass.Hallie’seyesalmosttwinkled,andheimaginedthat’sexactlywhatshe’dlookedlikeasapain-in-the-asslittlekid.
“He’snotgoingtokickmyass,”heproclaimedashewalkedoveranddroppedtothefloorbesideher.“BecauseIwon’tlethim.”
“I’mgoingtogogetsomeair,”Ruthiesaid.
Jacklookedupather,andthegirlwassoscrawnyandchildlikeinherweirdnessthathefeltsomehowprotectiveofher.“Doyouwantmetogowithyou?”
Sherolledhereyes.“Lookatyou,PrinceCharming,soscaredofacatass-whoopingthatyou’regoingtoaccompanymetotheparkinglot.Buggeroff.”
“Youbuggeroff,Ruthie,”hereplied,whichmadeherburstintoherwildlyout-of-controllaughterassheexitedtheroom.
“Oh,myGod—shelovesyou,Jack,”Halliesaidwithagrinasshepettedthebeast.“I’veneverseenRuthiesosweettoaguybefore.”
Hegaveherside-eyeandranahandoverthecat’sback.“Thefirstthingshesaidtomewas‘Yourcarisasymbolofeverythingthat’swrongwithourworld.’?”
Hallielaughed.“Butthenwhatdidshesay?”
“Thatatleastitdidn’thavefuckwitvanityplates…?”
“See?Thatlittleasidemeanssheforgivesyourcapitalisticnature.”
“Oh,thankGod.”Helaughed,andoverthesmellofanimal,hecouldsmellherperfume.Hewasn’tsurewhatshewore,butitalwaysdriftedintohisawarenessinthesamewayhecouldalwayssniffoutbarbecuewhenhewalkedintoarestaurant.
“Ican’tbelieveyouhaveanAudiandatruck,bytheway,”shesaid,herforeheadcrinkling.“Youmustbereallygoodatlandscraping.”
“Didyoujustsaylandscraping?”
Sherolledhereyesandnodded.“IswearI’msober.”
Hereachedoutahandandscratchedthecat’shugehead.“Ishouldhopeso—it’sseventhirtyinthemorning.”
“Wannaholdhim?”
“AfterwitnessingRuthie’sbeatdown?”Helookedatherupturnedfaceandfoughttheurgetotracethelineoffrecklesonhercheek.“No,thanks.”
“Chicken.”
“Listen,”Jacksaid,watchingthecatwatchhim.“Thisguyknowsthatyouarehis.Hehasfoundhisperson.Hedoesn’twanttobehandedofftosomeoneelsenowthathe’smetyou.”
“Doyoureallythinkthat?”shesaid,smilinglikeanoverexcitedtoddleratChristmas.
“Ido.”
“YouthinkI’mhisperson?”sheasked,hereyesonhis.“That’skindofbeautiful,Marshall.”
Heshrugged.“Iknow,I’mabeautifulfuckinggenius.”
Thatmadeherlaughandsmackhisarm.Shesaid,“Isupposeweshouldprobablygotoworknow,huh?”
Hestoppedpettingthecatandwonderedifherbuildingactuallyevenallowedcats,orifshe’deventhoughttocheck.Hesaid,“Probably.”
“IfIpayyou,”shesaid,climbingtoherfeetwithginormocatinherarms,“willyouswingbyhereafterworksoIcantakehimhome?”
Hestood.“Iguess,butonlyifyou’repayingme.”
Shegavehimalookandsaid,“Addittomytab.”
Aftershereturnedthecatandfilledoutallthepaperwork,HalliegotatextfromRuthieastheyexitedthebuilding.
“O-kay.”Shereadthemessageandshookherheadastheywalkedtowardtheparkinglot.“Ruthiesaysthatshegotboredandgrabbedaridehome,andalsothatshe’sthrowinganadoptionpartyformeandPurrAnthonyHopkittenthisweekend.”
“You’renotseriouslynaminghimthat,areyou?”
Shegrinnedandshrugged.“IhaveahardtimetellingRuthieno.”
“YoutellRuthiethatIalreadynamedhimandyouhaveahardtimetellingmeno.”
Shegavehimasnort-laugh.“What’syournameforhim?”
Hehitunlockandshepulledopenthepassengerdoorofhiscar.“Umm…Tigger.”
Shegotinthecarandsaid,“Imightnothatethat,”beforeslammingthedoorclosed.
Whenhegotinandbuckledhisseatbelt,shewasgrinningandlookingatherphone.“AlexsayshelikesRuthie’sname.”
WhydidthatmakeJackwanttostealherphoneandtossitoutthewindow?
“SoundslikeAlexisamoron.”
Sherolledhereyesandlaughed.“You’renotgettingthebaseball,youjag.”
ShetextedAlexbackasJackdrovehiscaralittletoofast,andthewayshegrinnedandmadetinynoisesfrustratedtheshitoutofhim.Itwasannoying.Whenhefinallypulledupinfrontofheroffice,shelookedupandsaid,“Wow,Ican’tbelievewe’reherealready.”
“Right?”hemanaged,irritatedbyhowsuckedintoherphoneshe’dbeen.
“Well,thanksforthismorning.I’msoexcitedtogobackandgetTigger,ifyou’restilldown.”
“Sure.Whattimedoyougetoff?”
“Five,butwheneveryoucangethereworks.Also,wouldyoumindifweswingbyTargetfirst,soIcanbuythingslikecatlitterandanadorablecatbed?”
“Let’satleastbehonestwithourselveshere,”hesaid,gettingdistractedbythecurlofhereyelashesassheblinkedandlistenedtohim.“IfwegotoTargetforcatstuff,youknowwe’llendupleavingwithamillionotherthings,like,tenhourslater.”
“Iknow,”shesaid,soundingexcitedassheopenedherdoor.“Ipromiseit’llbefun.We’lltryonoutlandishclothingandputonafittingroomfashionshow.”
Thatwassoher.Hesaid,“That’sfun?”
“Itwillbewhenwedoit.”Sheclimbedoutofthecar,andonceshewasout,sheleanedonthedoorandsaid,“Thanksforbeingsocool,Jackieboy.”
“Seeyouatfive,Piper.”
Hewassmilingashepulledaway,butwhenhemethissister,Olivia,forlunchafewhourslater,hewasnot.
“SoshetextsmetotellmethatAlexisgoingtotakehertogetthecatinstead.”
“So?”Olivialookedathimlikehewasn’tmakinganysenseasshesquirtedketchupontoherburger.
“Sotheguyisatotaldouchebag,andthewholereasonIwentthismorningwasbecauseshedidn’twanttotakehim.”
“Soshechangedhermind.”Livvieputthebunbackonherburger.“Sincewhendoyoucareaboutwhoyourfriendstakewiththemwhentheygetacat?”
“Idon’tcare,”hesaid,annoyedthatshedidn’tgetit.“Ijustthinkshemightberushingthingswiththisguy.”
Heexplainedtohertheirpost-dateTacoHutroutine,andhowHalliehadignoredhistextduringtheirlastone.
Oliviascrewedupherfaceinthatoverdramaticduhexpressionshe’dgivenhimathousandtimeswhentheywerekids.“She’sfinallyfoundsomeonedecent,whohasrealboyfriendpotential,andyou’repissed?”
“I’mnotpissed,Liv.”
Sheraisedaneyebrow.“Really.”
“Really.”Jackstabbedhisforkthroughhissidesaladandsaid,“Ijustwanthertofindsomeonebetter.”
Olivialeanedbackinherchair.Shecrossedherarmsoverherchest,tiltedherhead,andsaid,“Holyshit,youhavefeelingsforher.”
“No,Idon’t.”Hedroppedhisforkandsaid,“Whyinthehellwouldyousaythat?”
“Soyouonlylikeherasafriend.”
“That’sright.”
“Yousure?”
“Yes.”JackwantedtogrowlatOlivia,butlikehewasinacheesyrom-com,animageofHalliesayingbartendereverytimeVanessahadcalledherawaitressplayedinhismind,followedbythesoundofherlaughterasthatstupidfuckingcatburrowedintoherblackskirtandcovereditwithorangefur.Hischesthurtandhefeltalittlelight-headed.“Shit.Idon’tknow.”
Olivia’smouthdroppedopenandshegasped,butshequicklycloseditandheldupahand.“It’snotuptometoknowanythingaboutyourfeelings.But,Jack,ifyoudon’twanthertogooutwiththisguy,whydon’tyoujustmessuptheirnextdate?”
“Thisiswhattheadvicecolumnisthastooffer?Theyshouldfuckingfireyou.”
“No,listen.Justsomethingstupid,likecancelingtheirdinnerreservationbeforetheygetthereorshowingupatthecatadoptionplaceeventhoughhe’sgoingbecauseyoujustwanttohelpyourbestie.”
“Ihavetogo.”Jackstood,banginghiskneeonthetableintheprocessandgrowlingthroughhisteeth,“Dammit.”
“I’mnotdone,youtool,”Livviesaid,staringathimwithhugeeyeslikehe’dlosthismindassheshovedafryintohermouth.“Andyouliterallyhaven’ttakenabiteofyourlunchyet.Sityourassdown.”
“Can’t.”Jackshookhisheadandheadedforthedoor,needingairbecausehewasn’tsurehecouldhandlehisepiphany.Hewasn’tsurehecouldhandlehowstupidhe’dbeen.Heneededtobealoneandthink,sohesaidtoOliviaoverhisshoulder,“Ihavetobail,Liv.”
Afewhourslater,hefoundhimselfwalkingintotheanimalshelter.Theminutehewentthroughthedoor,hecouldseeHallieandAlex,standingatthecounter.Halliewastalkingtothewomanbehindthedesk,andAlexwassayingsomethingthatwasmakinghersmile.
Jackwassupposedtobetheonemakinghersmile.
HewalkeduptoHallieandsaid,“Where’sourcat?”
“Jack,”shesaid,lookingsurprised.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Heshrugged,feelingalittlestupidbutalsohappyaboutthewayshewaslookingathim.“IjustthoughtafterwesawTigger’spropensityforragethismorning,youmightneedsomehelpgettinghimhome.”
“Hi,I’mAlex,”theblondclownsaid,smilingandextendinghishand.
“Jack,”hereplied,shakingtheguy’shand.“Nicetomeetyou.”
“AndI’mCarole,”saidthewomanwhowasstandingbehindthecounterinalightbluesmock.“Let’sgogetyourcat.”
JackfollowedHallieasshetriedtogetherfatboyintoakennelthatsheandtheclownhadapparentlyjustpurchasedatTarget.Dammit.Thecatdidnotwanttogoin,anditseemedasifJackandAlexwereinsomesortofprimitivecontesttowinHal’sfavorbybeingtheonetosucceed.
Alextriedpatience,holdingouthishandandwaitinginacrouchforTiggertocomeover.Hallie,ontheotherhand,kepttryingtopickhimup,butthefurballwasnothavingit.Intheend,Jackwon,simplybecausehewasquickandbasicallylandedontopofthecatandpinnedhimdownuntilHalliecouldgethimscoopedintothecarrier.
Whentheywerefinishedattheshelter,Halliesaid,“I’msogladyoucame,Jack.Obviouslywecouldn’thavedonethiswithoutyou.”
“Yeah,”Alexadded,smilingatJackevenastheybothsharedaknowinglookaboutwhatwasreallygoingon.
“Noproblem,”hesaidasshelookedathercatthroughthekenneldoor.
“We’regoingbacktoHallie’sforChinesetakeout,”Alexsaid,steppingmarginallyclosertoher.“Wanttojoinus?”
HallielookedupfromthekennelandrightatJack,grinningandmakingafunnyface.Hewasn’tsureifitwasmeanttoconveyPleasecomeandsavemeorDon’tyoudare;Iwanttobealonewithmydate
“I’vegotplans,butthanks,”hesaid.
AsJackwalkedtohiscar,hecursedhissisterandherstupidideas,becausetherewasnowayhisvisittotheshelterdidadamnthingtoderailAlex’sprogresswithHallie,ortoputJackinsomebetterposition—notthathenecessarilywantedtobeinabetterposition.
Butafewdayslater,whenhewantedHaltomeethimatTacoHutbutshecouldn’tbecausesheandAlexhadfancydinnerreservations,helosthisdamnmind.HeheardOlivia’svoiceinhishead,dialedthefancyseafoodbistro,andsaid,“Ineedtocanceladinnerreservation.”ChapterTHIRTEENHallie
Hallieclosedherapartmentdoorandhitthedeadbolt.Asshekickedoffhershoesanddroppedherjacketonthefloor,sherealizedshewasstillsmiling.Alexhadleftheratthedoorfiveminutesbefore,yetthesmilewasstillonherface.
Shedidn’tseeTigger—he’dbeenwithherforaweeknow,andeverytimeshecamehomehewasasleeponherpillow—butthatwaseasytofix.Shewalkedovertothekitchen,openedtheutensildrawer,andtookoutthecanopener.Fromthebedroomsheheardthetelltalemrrreowbeforeheavypawslandedonthewoodfloorandhehightaileditinherdirection
Yes,Tigger’ssuperpowerwasthathecouldliterallyheartheclickingsoundofthecanopenerfromanywhereontheplanet.
“Hello,Tiggy,”shesaidasshecroucheddownandpettedhisfuzzyorangehead.Shestillcouldn’tbelieveshehadacat,butshewasgratefultoRuthieforthewholeweirdmoving-outdebacle,becauseshewasheadoverheelsobsessedwithTigger.“Let’sgetyousometuna.”
Sheopenedthecanandpouredthecontentsintoasaucer.Herphonebuzzedinherpocketassheturnedtotossthecontainer.SheexpectedittobeAlex,butitwasJack—who’dbeenweirdlyquietoverthepastfewdays.ButperhapshewasassmittenwithhisPhDgirlasshewaswithAlexanddidn’thavetimetotext.
Jack:Howwasdinner?
Shetookthephoneintothebedroomandploppeddownonherbed.OK,solistentothis.ItoldyouAlexmadereservationsattheAquarium,right?
Jack:Yep—sofancy.
Hallie:Well,wegotthere,andtherewasnoreservationandnotables.Alex’sfacegotallredandhelookedpissed.
Jack:DidJekyllbecomeHydeoverexpensivefish?
Hallie:No,JekyllbecamefuckingRomeo.
Jack:Hepoisonedyou?
Hallie:Hewentoutsideandmadeaphonecall,andthenaskedifImindedgoingonawalkforabit.
Jack:Sohecalledhismomtotalkhimofftherageledge.
Hallie:Shutupandwaitforit.Wetookawalk,andthenafterlikethirtyminutesheledmetoanigloointhepark.Wewentinsideandtherewasheat,twinklinglights,andapicnicblanketonthegroundwithto-goburgersandfries.
Jack:Shutthefuckup.
Hallielaughedandstillcouldn’tbelieveit.Right?!
Herphonestartedringingasshelookedatit,andthesecondsheraisedittoherearsheheardJacksay,“Areyoutellingmethatwhenyourreservationfellthrough,theblondclownarrangedaburgerpicnicinthepark?”
“ThatisexactlywhatI’mtellingyou!”Halliefloppedbackonherbedandclosedhereyes.“Canyoubelievehowcharmingthatis?”
Hemadeanoisethatsoundedlikeasnort.“Itsoundstomeliketheguyknewhecouldn’tgetatableandmadeupthewholereservationstoryjustsohecouldlookcharming.”
Hallieopenedhereyesandstaredupattheceiling.“Thatisridiculous.”
“Andyou’rehomeatten,TB,soobviouslythereisn’talotofsexualchemistrythere.”
“IknowyouwantthatstupidWorldSeriesball,butdon’truinthisforme.”ThingswithAlexwereamazingandperfectsofarandwereexactlywhatshe’dbeenlookingfor.ButJackwasatinybitrightonthatfront.Onpaper,Alexwasperfect.Butshe’dyettofeelanysortofburnforhim.
Shelikeditwhenhekissedher—hedidn’tcramhistonguedownherthroatorlickherfaceoff—butitdefinitelydidn’thavethethese-clothes-must-come-offvibeshe’dhadwithJackduringthatdrunkenelevatorride.
Butthatwouldcome.
Andprobablywasn’tallthatimportanttotheoverallrelationship,anyway.
“Sorry,sorry.”Sheheardhimclearhisthroatbeforehesaid,“How’sTig?”
Hallierolledoverontohersideandgrinned.“EverythingIcouldeverwantinabestie.”
Hischucklewasdeepandraspy,likehewastired.“Ishouldbringhimsomecatnip.Ican’tgiveittoMeowgianymorebecausehegetstoohyper.”
Shelovedthewayhesoundedannoyedandinloveallatthesametimewheneverhetalkedabouthiskitten.
“Youshould.Hemissesyou.”Halliekindoffeltlikeshedid,too,becausetheyhadn’thungoutinawhile.“Hewantstoshowyouhisnewplace.”
Whenshe’dgonebacktotheshelterwithAlextoofficiallyadoptTiggerthatday,she’dbeenshockedtoseeJackaftershe’dtoldhimhedidn’thavetocome.Hesaidthathewasonhiswayhomeandjustthoughthe’dswingbytoseeifsheneededanyhelp,andthenhe’dbeensurprisinglyfriendlytoAlexasthethreeofthemgotherfluffyboyintohiscarrier.
Ithadbeenunexpectedlysweet,andshehonestlyhadn’tknownwhattomakeofit.
Hesaid,“I’llbeinMinneapolisforthenexttwoweeksonbusiness,butI’mhavingdinnerwithKaylatheFridayIgetback.MaybeI’llswingbyafterward.”
“Soundsgood.”Shelookedoveratthewindowandatthedarkenedcitybeyondit.“HowarethingsgoingwithMissPhD,bytheway?”
“Good.”Heclearedhisthroatandsaid,“We’rebothsobusywithworkthatwehaven’ttalkedalot,butgood.”
“Dinnerispromising,though,right?”sheasked,wishinghe’dsharealittlemoreaboutKayla.HesaidthingslikeSheseemsgreat,butheneverreallywentintoanydetail.
“Yeah,it’llbegreat,”hesaid.“IimagineI’llbeoveratyourplacearoundten,ifthatworks.”
It’llbegreat.Whatdidthatmean?Shesaid,“WecanDoorDashicecreamandwatchamovie.”
“It’sadate,”hesaid.
Hallieturnedhereyesbacktotheceiling.It’sadate.Shewondered,notforthefirsttime,ifshewasbeinghonest,whatitwouldbeliketoactuallydateJack.Shedidn’twantto—shelovedtheirfriendship—butshe’dbelyingifshesaidshedidn’tthinkoftheirhothotelsexandtheirPride&Prejudicemomentinherlivingroomfromtimetotime.
Theyendedthecallnotlongafterthat,andthenAlexcalledher.
Shelikedtalkingtohim,really,butshecouldn’thelpbutnoticetheirconversationslackedthefunthatalwaysaccompaniedacallwithJack.Itwasprobablyanunfaircomparison,though,becausenoonehadtheeasybantersheandJackhad.Theywerefriends,whichwaswhatmadeitsocomfortableandnatural,andsheandAlexwerestillbecomingsomething.
IthadnothingtodowithJack,andeverythingtodowiththeirnewness.
Easyexplanation.
Jack
Jackwaswaitingforthehotelelevatorwhenhisphonebuzzed.ItwasHallie.
Hallie:Help!Goingtodinnerandcan’tchoose.
Thepicturethatfollowedwasoftwopairsofshoes—high-heeledblackbootsandapairofblackpumps.
Theelevatordoorsopened,andJacksteppedinsidebeforetextingherback.
Jack:Dependsontheoutfit.
Hallie:Okay,onesec.
Asherodetheelevatordowntothelobby,hehadahardtimenotsmiling,picturingHalhoppingononefootasshetriedputtingonhershoesquickly.
Shetexted:Option#1.
Itwasapictureofthewholeoutfit,andhedidsmilethen.Hallielookedgorgeousinablackdress,tallboots,andredlipstick,buthertonguewasoutandhereyeswerecrossed.
ThedoorsopenedandJackstartedwalkingtowardthelobby.
Jack:Bootsaresexy,thatfaceisnot.
Hallie:Howaboutthissexiness?
Sheincludedaclose-upofherridiculousface.
Jack:Hot.#2please.
Jackexitedoutintothechillyfalleveningandstartedinthedirectionofhisfavoritebar.He’dalwaysloveddowntownMinneapolis,andforsomereason,itsmelledandfeltevenbetterwhilehewastextingHallie.
Hedidn’tknowhowit’dhappened,butshe’dcompletelytakenoverhisbrain.
Everymorningwhenhewentforarun,shewaswhathewasthinkingabout.
Andhespentwaytoomuchtimeeverydaytryingtofigureoutwhatthehelltodoaboutit.Becausethebottomlinewasthateventhoughhehadfeelingsforherbeyondfriendship,itmightnotbeworthittodoanythingaboutitifthatmeantriskingeverythingelsetheyhad.
Whichexplainedwhyhewashelpinghergetdressedforadateinsteadofaskinghertogoononewithhim.
Hewashalfwaytothepubbeforeshetextedback:Here’s#2.
ItwasaphotoofHalliewearingheels,theoutfitbothelegantandsmokinghot.Hereyeswerehalf-closed,inanexaggeratedsexyfaceandridiculouspout.
Jack:#1ismyfavebut#2isclassyifyou’regoingforthat.Andalsodon’tmakethatface.
Hallie:Iwillgowith1becauseit’sjustdinner.AndIthoughtIlookedsexyAF.
Jackgrittedhisteethasherememberedwhatthiswasfor.Duh.
Jack:GoingoutwithAlex?
Hallie:Ireallythinkyou’dlikehimifyougavehimachance.
Hedialedhernumber,andshewaslaughingwhensheanswered.“Youwould,Jack.”
God,itwaspathetic,thewaythesoundofhervoiceshotthroughhimlikeabuzz.“Doubtful.Whereareyougoing?”
Shesaidthenameofarestauranthe’dneverheardof,andhesaid,“Nomatterhowgoodthefoodis,don’tputout.Thethird-dateruleisbullshitandyoushouldn’tcavetothatpressure.”
Whatinthefuckwasthat?Hekindofwantedtopunchhimselfinthefaceforthatone.
“Whatareyou,fifteen?”Shewaslaughingandoutragedallatthesametime,hecouldtell.“Iwillputout—gross,bytheway—ifIfeellikeit,thankyouverymuch.”
Heknewitwasimmature,butthethoughtofherkissingAlexmadehisguthurt.Hell,thethoughtofherkissinganymanmadehisguthurt.Hewasn’tsurehowhe’dgonefromzerotofull-borefeelingsforHal,butitmadehimfeellikeabitofashitshow.“IjustmeantthatheseemsalittleslicktomeandIwantyoutobecareful.”
“Awww,”shesaid,hervoiceteasingandquiet.“It’ssoadorablewhenyoumakemewanttohugyouandthroat-punchyouallatthesametime.”
“That’smysweetspot,”hesaid,tryingtoforcehimselftostopthinkingaboutherandAlex.
“Whatareyoudoingtonight?”sheasked.
“Walkingtoabartoeatinsolitude.”
“Maybeyou’llmeetsomeone,”shesaid,soundingridiculouslycheery.
“Nah,”hesaid.
“Whynot?Youdon’tlikeMinnesotagirls?”
“Idon’tlikemeetingstrangersinbars.”
“I’msorry—what?”
“Seriously.”
“Thejudgesneedclarification.JackMarshall,manknowntogetfreakyinhotelelevatorswithred-hotbartendershedoesn’tknow,doesn’tlikepickingupchicksinbars?”
“I’vealwaysthoughtitwascreepy.”
Shesoundedamusedwhenshesaid,“Pleaseexplain.”
“Itjustseemsidiotictoseesomeoneanddecideyouliketheirappearanceenoughtostartaconversation.Itfeelsso…?”
“Superficial?”
“Bingo.”
“Ihavetogoputonmakeup,butI’mintriguedbythissideofyou.Soyou’resayingitseemswrongtoselectapossiblematebytheirlookswithoutconsideringtheirbrainfirst?”
“Youhaveawaywithwords,andyes.”
“Wow,Imightbealittleturnedonbythisfeministicoutlookonthebarscene,”sheteased.“Textmelaterifyou’rebored,okay?”
“Okay.”Heclearedhisthroatandsaid,“Havefun.”
“Butnottoomuchfun,right?Notputtingoutfun?”
“You’resuchalittleshit,”hesaidwithalaugh.
HeendedthecallashewalkedintoMcKenna’s.Hebellieduptothebar,wherehe’dalwayssatwithhisuncleMack,andorderedaburgerandabeer.
Helookedaround—itwasstartingtogetbusyforhappyhour—andthoughthowweirditwasbeingtherewithouthim.
Inthepast,JackhadloveditwhenworksenthimtotheTwinCities,becauseit’dbeenanexcusetostaywithhisfavoriteuncleandhangout.Macklivedinthebuildingabovethebar,soMcKenna’shadfeltlikehisownpersonalkitchen.EverytimeJackcrashedthere,heandMackhitthebarfornearlyeverymeal.
EveryonewhowalkedthroughthedoorseemedtoknowMack,andeveryonewhoworkedtheretreatedhimlikefamily.Hewaslikeabelovedicon,thepersonwhomadelifecomealivewhenheenteredaroom.
AndeverytimeJackvisited,Mackhadhadadifferentgirlfriend.
Theyallhadonethingincommon,though:Theywerefun.
EverygirlMackhadeverintroducedhimtohadbeenbeautiful,funny,anddowntohaveagoodtime.Jackhadgrownupwatchingtheguyandwantedtobejustlikehim.He’dwonderedcountlesstimesovertheyearswhyanyonewouldrushtogetmarriedandsettledownwhenyoucouldlivelikethat.
Mackwasn’tthelifeoftheparty—Mackwastheparty,whereverhewent.
“Here.”ThebartendersetdownJack’sfoodandsaid,“Needketchup?”
Jacklookedatthemananddidn’trecognizehim.“No,thanks.”
AsheunrolledtheutensilswiththenapkinwrappedaroundthemandwatchedtheTVbehindthebar,hefounditsurrealthattherewasn’tsomesortofaccountingofthetimehisunclehadspentthere,somekindoftributetothemanwho’dbeenmoremascotthancustomer.
Aplaque,apicture,aretiredbarstool—therewasnothing.
NoevidenceUncleMackhadeverbeenthere.
Itwaslikehe’dneverexisted.
Takingalongpullfromhispint,Jackthoughtbacktothewake.Thewholefamilyhadbeenatthemortuary,hangingoutatthevisitationandsharingstories,butnooneelsehadshownup.Hehadn’trealizedatfirstbecausethefamilywassobig,butnoneofMack’sfriends,noonefromthebar,noneofhisgirlfriends—notasinglepersonfromMack’sdailylifehadshownuptopaytheirrespects.
Itstillpissedhimoff,andasheatehisdinnerandtheplacethrummedwithearly-eveningenergy,hegotmorepissedforMack.Itwashonestlydepressing,thathisunclethoughthe’dbeentightwithhisfriendsandthisbar.Hadhebeenwrong?Hadtheyallhumoredhimbutdidn’treallygiveashit?Thewomenwhohadfawnedoverhim—whatweretheirstories?Wherehadtheydisappearedto?
Asmuchashismomlikedtorefertoherbrotherasa“hopelessbachelor,”Mackhadbeenmorethanthat.He’dbeenthekindest,funniest,mostgenerouspersonJackhadevermet,butsincehe’dchosennottosettledown,hislifewasjustwrittenoffaslessvaluable.
Damn,Jackthought.Hewasgettingfartoointrospectivesittingherealone,andheneededmorebeer.
Hefinishedhisdinner,poundingafewbeerswhileglaringateveryonewhodaredtohangoutinthatbarandwatchfootball.Allofasudden,theplacehe’dconsideredtobeoneofhisfavoriterestaurantsintheworldsucked.Hedidn’twanttobeatthatassholebaranymore,soassoonasthegameended,hepaidhistabandwentbacktohishotel.
HewaswalkingintohisroomwhenHallietexted.
Hallie:Whatchadoin?
Hedroppedhiskeycard,steppedoutofhisshoes,andfellbackontothebed.
Jack:Justgotback.
Hallie:Thatwasalongdinner.Didyoumeetsomeone?
Jack:TheonlypersonImetwasthebartenderwhotookmyorder.
Hallie:Thatsoundslonely.
Hertextmadehimfeelalittlelonely.Hetexted:Thewholenightwasweird.Idon’treallywanttogetintoit,butlet’sjustsayIusedtolovethisplacebecausemyunclewashere,andnowhe’snot,soitfeelslikeshit
Hisphonestartedringing,anditdidsomethingtohischestwhenhesawhernameonthedisplay.Heansweredwith,“Piper.IsaidIdon’twanttotalkaboutit.”
“Iknow,”shesaid,andhecouldhearthesmileinhervoice.“WhichiswhyI’mcalling.IthoughtI’dtellyouaboutmynight.”
“Layitonme.”Hegotupandwalkedovertohissuitcase.“Tellmeeverything.”
“Okay.So.”Sheclearedherthroat,andheheardhercatmeowinthebackground.“Alexpickedmeupandtookmetotherestaurant.Itwasnice,thewinewasgood,andthenheorderedavegancheeseballasanappetizerandwantedmetotryit.”
“Ishevegan?”
“No,he’sjusthaditbeforeandit’sreallygood.”
“Youdidn’ttryit,didyou?”TherewasnowaythatpickyHalliehadtriedavegancheeseball.
“Hereallywantedmetotakeabite,soIdid.Itooktheteeniest,tiniestlittlebite.”
“And…?”Hepulledhisshirtoverhisheadandreachedforthebuttononhisjeans.“Howwasit?”
“Idon’tknow,becauseaboutthirtysecondsafterItriedit,mythroatgotscratchy.Thenmycheeksgotredandmyneckgotblotchy.”
“You’reallergic?”Jackstoppedundressing.“Areyouokay?”
“I’mokaynow.”Shesoundedtired.“ButIlearnedtonightthatI’mviolentlyallergictocashews,whichwereapparentlyacoreingredientinthevegancheese.”
“Holyshit.”Heshuckedoffhisjeans,droppedthemintohissuitcase,andwentbackovertothebed.“Whathappened?Yousureyou’reokay?”
“AlexhadtotakemetotheER,andI’mprettysureheheardmepukingmygutsoutintoabarfconeasIwaitedforthedoctor.”
“Holyshit,”hesaid,wishinghe’dbeentheretohelpher.“Also,whatisabarfcone?”
“Thenursehandedmethisthingthatwaslikeacardboardcirclewithalong,latexreservoirattached—barfcone.Vomitcondom.”
Hestartedlaughing,inspiteofhisfoulmoodandthefactthatshe’dhadahealthscare.“I’msosorryyouhadtousetheretchreceptacle.”
“It’sokay…thatIwentHAMonthepukepocket.”
“Iwould’veheldyourhair,”hesaid,stilllaughing.“IfI’dbeenthere.”
“Well,Iwould’veeatenwithyousoyouweren’tlonely,ifI’dbeenthere,”Halliesaid,andherwordsdidsomethingtohim.Forfuck’ssake,shedidsomethingtohim.
Heclearedhisthroatandsaid,“Sohow’sthecat?”
“Jack,he’samazing.HowisitthatIlivedmyentirelifewithouthim,butnow,justlikethat,Ican’tevenrememberthebefore?Doesthatsoundcrazy,tobeattachedthatfast?”
“No,”hesaid,sittingdownonthebed.“Itdoesn’tsoundcrazyatall.”ChapterFOURTEENHallie
ShewatchedthroughthewindowasAlexpulledupinfrontofStarbucks.Theyweregrabbingaquickpost-workcoffee,andeventhoughshewashappytoseehim,she’dkindofbeeninafogofmissingJackallday.
Shemissedherbestfriend.He’dbeengoneforalmosttwoweeks,andeventhoughtheytalkedandtextedeveryday,itwasn’tthesameashimbeingthere.
AndthingsweregoinggreatwithAlex—theywere.Hewasattentiveandfunnyandeasyontheeyes,soshehadnocomplaints.Infact,she’ddecidedwhilerunningthatmorningthatshewasgoingtodoit.
Shewasgoingtoaskhim.
Afterhesatdownandtheytalkedaboutwhat’dhappenedattheirrespectivejobsthatday,shedidit.She’dbeendreadingitforages,butitwasn’tgoingawayandshereallydidn’twanttogoalone.
Hotmessshitshowwasstilltoofreshinhermind.
“Iknowwearen’treallya‘thing’yet,”Halliesaid,awkwardlylookingatherFrappuccinoinsteadofAlex’sface,“butwouldyouwanttogowithmetomysister’swedding?It’sadestinationweddingataresortinVail—justfamilyandafewclosefriends.Youcouldbemyplus-one,buttherearenostrings—”
“Iwouldlovethatsomuch,”Alexsaid,takingherhand.“Iwouldreallylikeforustobecomea‘thing,’ifthat’sokaywithyou.”
“Youwould?”sheasked,notsureifshewasreadytobeathing.Eventhough—shit—she’dbeentheonetobringupwhetherornottheywere.
“Absolutely,”hesaid,smiling.Hehadanicesmile,completewiththecrinklesatthecornersofhiseyes,andsheknewhewasacatch.Alexwasagreatguy.Heleanedforwardandpressedhismouthagainsthers.Itwassweet,andsheclosedhereyes,tryingtofallintoit.Histonguetouchedhersbriefly—theywereinStarbucks,afterall—beforehepulledbackandsqueezedherhand.“Ican’twaitforustogoonatriptogether.”
Shewasthrilledthatshewouldn’tbedatelessatherperfectsister’swedding,butaftershegothome,shecouldn’tshaketherealitythatshewasn’texcitedtogowithAlex.Everythingwithhimwasgreat,butitwasgreatinthewayaHallmarkChristmasmoviewasgreat.Everythinglookedperfect—theclothing,thesetting,thewords—butnoneofitfelt…real.
Itfeltforced,liketheywereeachplayingthepartoftwopeoplefallinginlove.
ShetextedJack,needingtoshakeofftheuneaseandnotthinkaboutit.
Hallie:Guesswhat?Alexsaidhe’llgowithmetoLillie’swedding.
Jack:You’retakinghimtoVail?Youreallywanttodothefamilythingwithhimalready?
Hallieshruggedinheremptyapartmentbeforetexting:Maybe…?
Jack:He’snottheone,youknow.You’renotgoingtowinthevacationwiththatguy
Hallie:Haveyoueverthoughtthatyoumightbewrong?WhatifheIStheone?
Shewaitedforhisresponse,feelingalittlebreathlesswithanticipation.Conversationbubblesstartedandstopped,startedandstopped,andthen,afteranentirefiveminuteshadpassed,hetexted:Iguesstimewilltell.
Shedidn’tknowwhy,butshewasdisappointedwithhisresponse.She’dwantedhimtocarethatshemightbeclosetowinningthebet.She’dwantedhimtoarguewithherthatthenotionofAlexbeingtheonewasasinine.
Buthehadn’t.
AndwhatwasupwithKayla?Heneverreallymentionedher,butsheknewhewasstilltalkingtoher.Sowhatdidthatmean?
Washefallinginlovewiththebeautifulgradstudent?
Hallietossedandturnedallnight,keptawakebytheuncomfortablerealizationthatthingswithJackcouldbechanging.Andasmuchasshewantedbothofthemtofindtheirhappyendingswiththeirtrueloves,thethoughtofchange,especiallywithJack,madeherstomachhurt.ChapterFIFTEENJack
JackpocketedhiskeysandheadedforthedoortoHal’sbuilding,atinylittlepouchofcatnipinhisjacketpocket.He’dlandedafewhoursbefore,andhe’dhadtoforcehimselfnottocomerunningovertoherplacetheinstanthe’dtoucheddown.
Becausehewasdyingtoseeher.
Hedidn’tknowexactlywhathewasgoingtodoorsay,butsomethinghadchangedinMinneapolis.HehadchangedinMinneapolis.He’drealizedthatasscaredashewasofscrewingupwhattheyalreadyhad,hewantedtomoveforward.
God,washeoutofhismind?
Hewentintothelobbyandpressedtheupbuttonontheelevator,wonderingwhenthebesttimewastoconfesshisterrifyingfeelings.
Theelevatordoorsopened,andablondguysteppedout.HetookastepforwardbutpausedwhenhesawJack.
“Hey,you’reHal’sfriend.Jack,right?”
Jacklookedattheman’sfaceandrealizedwhoitwas.Also,didhereallyhavetocallher“Hal,”likeitwasthathardtosayherfullname?
“Hey,Alex.How’sitgoing?”
“Good,good.AreyougoinguptoseeHalrightnow?”
Jackgavehimanodanddidn’tthinkhecouldtakeitifthedouchebagsaidHalonemoretime.Also,wherethehellelsewouldhebegoing?
“Wouldyoumindtakingsomethingupwithyou?”Alexputhishandsinthepocketsofhisbomberjacketandsaid,“IboughtafewtoysforTiggerbutlefttheminmycar.”
“Sure.”
Jackfollowedtheguytohiscar,hatingthefactthatAlexwasspendingtimewithHallieeveryday.Hatingthathewasbuyingtoysforherdamncat,evenasJack’sownpocketburnedwiththecatniphehadtakencaretobring.Alexpoppedopenhistrunk—agoddamnCamaro,ofcourse—andJackstoodthere,feelinglowerthaneverasAlexdugaround,ramblingabouthislifeliketheywerebuddies.
“Halissuchasweetheart.IhavenoideahowIgotluckyenoughtolandherasagirlfriend.”
Jacksquinted,forcinghimselfnottosaythatitwaswaytooearlyforAlextocallHalliehisgirlfriend,eventhoughitabsolutelywas.“It’s,uh,yeah—she’sgreat.”
Thefactthatshe’dinvitedAlextohersister’sweddingwasstillmind-bogglingtohim,butherefusedtothinkaboutit.
Alexkeptdigging—howmuchshitcouldonepersonhaveintheirtrunk—andsaid,“ButI’mblownawaythatsomeonelikeherwasevenontheapp,y’know?”
Jackfeltlikehisjawwasgoingtobreakfromclenchingitsohard.“Yeah.”
“I’mahugebelieverinfate,inthingshappeningbecausethecosmoswantedthemto,soherreachingouttomefeelsepic,y’know?”
Alexstoppeddiggingandsaidwithagrin,“Listentome—Isoundlikeafuckinglovesicklittlegirl.”
“Nowyousoundlikeafuckingsexist.”
“RightthereIdid,didn’tI?”Alexlaughed,whichbuggedthehelloutofJack.“ThankGodtherearenofeministsloiteringintheparkinglottooverhear.”
“Thatwouldbetheworst,right?”Jacksaid,unsureiftheguywasseriousornot.
“ThelastthingI’dwanttodoislookbadinfrontofHal,soforsuretheworst.Although,honestly,sheseemswaytoosweettocareaboutsomethinglikethat.”
“You’dbesurprised,”Jacksaid,rememberingheratthespeeddatingevent.
“No,Iwouldn’t.”Alexlookedonehundredpercentconfidentinhisopinionashesaid,“Eventhoughwehaven’tknowneachotherverylong,IfeellikeIalreadyknowknowher.”
Jackdidn’tevenknowwhattosaytothat,sohejustmuttered,“Isthatright.”
“Ithinkit’sthatfatething.”
Jackcouldn’tstophimselffromsaying,“Iwouldn’treallyputmuchstockinfateonthisone,bytheway.Sometimesyougetlucky,butthissureashellwasn’tbecausethestarsaligned.”
Alexsaid,“Saysyou.”
“Sayslife.”
“Nope.”HeshookhisheadandgrinnedlikeJackwastheonesayingridiculousthings.“It’sfate,myguy,andyoujustdon’tgetit.”
“Listen,buddy,”Jacksaid,reallyfuckingirritatedatthispoint.“Don’ttellHalItoldyouthis,butwehadabet.Wemadeawageronwhocouldfindlovefirst.Soherfeelingsforyoumightberealandyoumightbetheluckiestsonofabitchontheplanet,butitwasn’tthecosmosoryourgoodkarmathatmadeherswiperightonyou.Itwasthewilltobeatmeandwinafreevacation.”
“Areyouserious?”Alex’sfacefell,andJackimmediatelyregrettedtellinghim.Regrettedit,butstillfeltthetiniesttwingeofsatisfaction.
“Hundredpercent.”
Alexrubbedthebackofhisneckandmuttered,“Huh.”
Dammit.Jacksighedandsaid,“Imean,itsoundslikeshereallylikesyou,soitstillworkedout,right?”
Alexlookeddistractedandupset.“Isupposeso.”
“IfIwereyou,”Jacksaid,backtrackingbecausehewantedtorespectHal’srelationshipregardlessofhisfeelingsforherorhisutterannoyancewithAlex,“I’dforgetyoueverheardthisandenjoytheride.”
“That’sprobablygoodadvice.”Alexsmiledhalf-heartedlyandhandedJackagrocerybag.“HereareTigger’stoys.”
“Thanks.”Jacktookthebag,turned,andhadonlytakenonestepwhenAlexspokeupagain.
“So…youandHallie.”
Jackstoppedandturnedbackaround.“What?”
AlexputhishandsinhispocketsandgaveJackaknowinglook.“Istheresomethinggoingon?Somethingmorethanfriendship?”
Jackwantedtohithimagain,whichwasweirdbecauseherarelywantedtohitpeople.Hegavehisheadashakeandsaidwithtotalhonesty,“No.”
“Doyouwanttheretobe?”
“IfIdid,”Jacksaid,exhaling,“IwouldtalktoHalaboutit.Notyou.”
JackleftAlexathiscarandwentbackinsidethebuilding.Hefeltbadaboutgettingintheguy’sheadandbeingageneralasshole,buthe’dapologizenexttimehesawhim.
Rightnow,hejustneededtoseeHal.
Hallie
“Youreallyneedtobuyacouch.”
HallieandJackweresittingsidebysideonthefloorwiththeirbacksrestingagainstthewall,theirlegsstretchedstraightinfrontofthem.They’dbeenwatchinganotherepisodeofYouonNetflix,andithadjustended.Shelookedathimandsaid,“Isthishardonyouroldmanback?”
“Funnygirl.”Heputhishandontopofherheadandtousledsohardshekindoftippedover,makinghersquealandlaugh.“It’shardonmyone-year-older-than-youasswhenyourchunkyboywon’tgetoffofme.”
TiggerhadploppedhishugebodyonJack’slaptheminutehe’dsatdownandhadn’tmovedsince.
“SoIdidn’tevenask—didyouhaveanyfunatallinMinneapolis?”Halliefeltalittlebadthatsheknewalmostnothingabouthisjob,buttheyhadsomuchfunwhentheyhungoutthatneitheroftheircareersreallyeverenteredtheconversation.
“Itsucked.”HescratchedbehindTigger’searwithonehandwhilegrabbingtheremoteandflippingthroughNetflixwiththeother.“Theworkwasfine,butusuallywhenIgoupthere,Istaywithmyuncleandit’sawholebigfamilything.Hepassedawaysincemylasttrip,though,soitwasjust,Idon’tknow,weirdnow.”
HisuncleMack.Sherememberedhissistermentioninghim.Shedidn’twanttopryormakehimsad,soshejustsaid,“Thatreallysucks.”
HenoddedandlookedlikehewascasuallywatchingtheTVashescrolledforsomethingtoputon,buthisAdam’sapplemovedaroundabigswallowbeforehesaid,“Ikindofwasn’tpreparedforwhatagut-punchitwouldbe,honestly.”
Shereachedoutahandandsqueezedhisarm.“I’msosorry.”
Heshookhishead,likeitwasnothing.“It’snobigdeal,soquitlookingatmelikeI’maweepylittlekid.”
Thatmadeherpinchthearmshe’dbeensoftlysqueezing.“I’mdoingnosuchthing.”
“Bullshit.”Hegrinnedatherandsaid,“Bytheway,Kayladumpedmeoverthephoneyesterday.”
“Oh,no.”PoorJack.“ThePhDcandidate?”
Henodded.
“Didshesaywhy?”Shecouldn’timagineanyonenotbeingintoJack.Hewashilarious,charming,anddamnprettytolookat;whatthehellwaswrongwithKayla?Eventhoughhehadn’tsaidalottoHallieabouther,shesuspectedhe’dkindofbeenhopingitwouldpanoutintoarealrelationship.
“Ah,youknow,”hemurmured,hiseyesstillontheTV.
“No,Idon’tknow.”
Heshookhisheadandmadeadismissivenoise.
“Well,whatdidshesayexactly?”
“Hal.”Hestartedlaughing,andthesadnessinhiseyeswentawaywhenhelookedather,thankGod.“Settleyourassdown—shejustwasn’tfeelingme.Ithappens.”
Shelaughedwithhim,becauseregardlesssofeverythingelse,shewassoincrediblyhappyJackwasbackthatitwashardtostopsmiling.ShelikedAlexasaromanticpartner,butsherealizedshehadthemostfunhangingoutwithJack.They’dgobbleddownicecreamastheywatchedTV,andhehadn’tevenjudgedwhenshe’dlickedthebowlandthenhelpedhimfinishhisicecreamaswell.
Herphonebuzzed.ItwasatextfromAlex,butshedidn’tfeelliketextinghimuntilafterJackleft.Butwhenshelookedatthetext,itread:CanIcallyou?It’simportant.
Hallieswallowedandwonderedwhatwasup.WasheregrettingsayingyestotheweekendinVail?Sheresponded:Ofcourse.
“Ihavetotakeacall—I’llberightback.Justsitandwatchthemovie,”shesaidasshestoodandwentintothebedroom.
“Likethisguywillletmedoanythingelse,”Jackmuttered,scratchingTigger’sbighead.
Shewentintothebedroom,closedthedoor,andsatdownonherbed.Whenthephonerang,sheansweredwith,“Tiggerloveshistoys.”
“Oh.Good.”HallieheardAlexclearhisthroatbeforehesaid,“Listen,I’mreallybadatthisstuff,soI’mjustgoingtosayit.Youseemreallygreat,butIdon’tthinkthisisgoingtowork.”
Hallie’sheartstartedbeatinginherneckashecontinuedtospeakuncomfortably.“Someguyisgoingtobereallylucky,becauseyou’reanawesomegirl,butIjustdon’tthinkI’mthatguy.”
Halliefeltalittlelight-headed.“You’re,um,you’rebreakingupwithme?”
“I…IguessIam.”Alex’svoicesoundedthick.“It’snotyou,itreallyisjustamething.”
“Okay.Uh,gotit.”
“Hallie,pleasedon’t—”
“IsthisbecauseIinvitedyoutothewedding?Becauseifit’stoosoon,I’mfine—”
“No,theweddingsoundedlikeablast.Ijust…Ijustdon’tthinkwe’remeanttobetogether.”
Halliefeltsuffocatedwiththeweightofrejection.Shewasn’tenoughforhim.Hedidn’twanther.Hedidn’twanttogototheweddingwithher.He’dratherbesinglethanbewithher.Shemanagedtocroak,“Okay,um,Ihavetogo.Takecare,Alex.”
“I’msorry,Hal—”
Shedisconnectedthecallbeforeshecouldembarrassherselffurther.Tearsimmediatelyfilledhereyes,andshebitdownonherliptokeepherselfquiet.Shefeltlikesobbing,likegivingintoabig,sadcry,butJackwasontheothersideofthatdoorandshecouldn’tbearthethoughtofhimseeingherlikethat.
Especiallywhenhe’dalsogottendumpedandwashandlingitlikeachamp.
Buteverytimeshegotclosetohavingheremotionsundercontrol,shethoughtofhersister’swedding—wheresheandBenwouldbothbeintheweddingparty—andshelostitagain.
Thetearswouldn’tstop,andafterawhilesheforgotaboutJackentirely.
Untilsheheardtheknockonthedoor.“Hal?Areyouokay?Didyoufallasleep?”
Shewonderedifshewerequiethe’dassumethelatterandleave.
“Ifyoudon’tmakeanoiseinthenexttenseconds,I’mcominginjustincaseyou’vefallenandcan’tgetup.”
“I’mfine,”shesaid,buthemust’veheardthetonebecausehesaid,“I’mcomingin.”
Thedooropenedacrack,andwhenhesawher,hisfacewentfromrelaxedtodeadserious.Heswallowedandsaid,“Holyshit,whathappened?”
Hewalkedintotheroom,andinasecond,hisarmswerewrappedtightlyaroundher,whichmadehercryharder.
“It’snobigdeal,”shesaid,kindofsnufflingitoutinahiccuppingsob,“butAlexbrokeupwithme.”
“Oh,God,”hesaid,andshefelttensioninhisarmsasheasked,“Didhesaywhy?”
Sheshookherheadandsaid,“Justthewhole‘it’snotyou,it’sme’bullshit.”
Shetriedtosoundunaffectedasshesaidit,butshefeltunlovableatthatmoment,whichmadehertoosadtoactcool.
“Well,itisbullshit.Youknowthat,right?”Hewastalkingintoherhair,hisvoicelow.“He’samoron,becauseyou’reincredibleandanyguywouldbeluckytoscoopyourcat’sfuckinglitterpan,doyouhearme?”
Thatmadehersmilealittle.
“Honestly,Ididn’tknowyoulikedhimenoughforhimtohurtyouthisway.”Heclearedhisthroatandsoundedemotionalwhenhesaid,“God,I’msosorrythatIdidn’tknowhowhardyou’dfallen.”
Atinypartofherwasincrediblytouchedbythatapology,bythefactthatherfriendfeltbadfornotreadingherfeelingsbetter.ButasHallielaythere,staringintospace,hisfirstsentencegaveherpause.Ididn’tknowyoulikedhimenoughforhimtohurtyouthisway.WhenshepicturedAlex’sface,shedidn’tfeelthatsad.Whenshethoughtaboutnomoredinnerswithhim,shedidn’tfeelthatdisappointed.
“Ididn’tknow,either,”shewhispered.“Hell,Idon’tevenknownow.IsitawfulthatIthinkIcouldbesadderaboutgettingdumpedthanaboutactuallylosingAlex?”
“Notatall,”hesaidintoherhair,hisarmsstayingtightaroundher.“I’mthesame,Hal.Rejectionfeelslikeshit,evenwhenitcomesfromsomeonewhomightnotmatterthatmuch.”
“Don’tenablemybadbehavior,”Halliesaidaroundahalflaugh.
“It’strue,though,horriblehuman.”
Shelaughedagainandstartedtofacehim,Jack’sgriplooseningsoshecould.Sheknewshelookedhideouswhenhelookedatherwithapityingsmile.Shesaid,“Shutup,IknowIlookgood.”
Hegentlyswipedunderherlowerlasheswithhisthumbs.“Nocomment.”
“Thethingis,”shesaid,blinkingfasttostopmoretears,“Ijustreallyhatestartingbackatsquareone;withAlex,atleastIhadhopethatIwasmaybeontheway.”
Hiseyestraveledoverherface,andhesaidquietly,“Igetthat.”
Ofcoursehedoes.
“AndnowIhavetogotomyfuckingperfectsister’sweddingalonenextweek!”shecried,unabletostopherselffromfull-onbawlingoverthatone.“IwassohappytocallmymomtheotherdayandcasuallydropthatIhadaboyfriendwhowouldbecomingwithme,andnowIhavetorollintoVailwithmytailbetweenmylegs.”
“No,youdon’t.”
“AndIdon’tthinkI’veevertoldyouaboutmyex,otherthanthefactthatwebrokeup,butBenisgoingtobeINthewedding.Withme.”Shepicturedhisfaceandgroaned.“I’mgoingtolooksopathetic.”
“Youdon’thavetogoalone,”herepeated.
“Yes,Ido.Idon’thaveanyone.”Hereyesfilledwithtearsagain.
“No.Youdon’t.Listen,”hesaid.“Ifyouwant,I’llgowithyou.YoucanpretendI’myourboyfriend,andwecanbethegreatestfuckingcouplethey’veeverseenuntilwereturnhomefromthetripandbreakup.”
Shesniffledandlookedathisface.Helookedserious.Sheasked,“You’ddothat?”
Hegavealittleshrugandsaid,“Sure.IloveColorado.”
“So,”shesaid,unabletobelievewhathewasofferingtodo,“youwillletmetellthemyou’remyboyfriendandyou’llactlikeyouloveme?”
“HalliePiper,”hesaid,hisvoicelowandhuskyashelookedather,“fromthesecondweentertheairporttodepartuntilthemomentwereturnhome,Iwillbehead-over-heels,worship-the-ground-you-walk-on,wildlyobsessedandmadlyinlovewithyou.”
Halliefeltalittlebuzzedatthesoundofthosewords.God,heisgood,shethoughtashelookedatherlikehemeanteverywordHisjawflexedashiseyesstayedfocusedonhers,andshesatupinthebed.“Ican’tbelieveyou’ddothatforme.”
Heshruggedagain.“It’snotabigdeal.We’refriends.”
Shecouldfeelasmilecomingasshesaid,“Thankyousomuchforbeingmyfriend,Jack.”
“Rightbackatcha,TB.”ChapterSIXTEEN
HallieandJacktextedmorethanusualthefollowingweekastheyfinalizedtravelplansandlodgingdetails.Herentirefamilywastakingthesameflight,soshewasabsolutelydreadingthat,butshemadesuretorequestaroomonaseparatefloorfromeveryoneelse.
Shewasalittlenervouswhenshewokeupatfoura.m.onthedayoftheflight.Couldtheypullitoff?WouldJackbeabletopretendhewasinlovewithher?Actually,aslongashemanagedtopulloffasolidshe’s-kinda-cooldisposition,Halliewouldbethrilled.
Shewaszippinguphercarry-onwhenJacktexted.
Jack:Goodmorning,mylove.MayIpickupadonutforyouonthewaytoyourplace?
Hallie:Careful,ImayACTUALLYfallinlovewithyouifyousaythingslikethat.
Jack:Iwillshoweryouinchocolatedonutsfortherestofyourlife,mydarling.
Shelaughedandtexted:IthinkIjusthadatinyorgasm.
Jack:Onmyway.
Justlikethat,hernervousnessturnedintoexcitement.ShewasgoingtoVailwithJack—howcoulditnotbefun?Shedouble-checkedthatshehadabsolutelyeverythingshe’dneedandstackedherbagsbesidethefrontdoor.
ShegotalittlechokedupsayinggoodbyetoTigger,becauseshewasafraidhe’dfeelabandoned.Ruthiewasgoingto“takeacrap-tonofClaritin”andcomeovereverydaytofeedandplaywithhim,sothatmadeherfeelalittlebetter,butshestillhatedleavinghimbehind.
Jack,ontheotherhand,saidhedesperatelyneededaweekendawayfromMr.Meowgi,whokeptpeeingonhisbathmat.
Jackrangthebuzzerwhenhegotthere,andshebroughtdownherluggage.Whensheexitedthebuilding,hewaswaitingoutfrontwithhistrunkopen.
Andhelookedhotinhisjeansandblackhoodie.Themanhadthekindofchestyouwantedtorestyourpalmson,ifthatmadeanysenseatall.
“Goodmorning,boyfriend,”shesaid,draggingherbagstowherehestood.“Readyforaweekendawaywiththeloveofyourlife?”
Hiseyesnarrowedashelookeddownather.Specifically,atthespotjustabovetheV-neckofherblacksweater.“PleasetellmethatI’mnotinsidethatlocket.”
“Openitandsee,”sheteased,thechillywindblowingherhairinherface.
Herolledhiseyesbeforereachingoutandopeningthesilverlocketthathungonachainaroundherneck.Shecouldtellhedidn’tthinktherewouldbeanythinginthere,andhismouthdroppedwideopeninshock.
“Youfuckingweirdo—explainyourself,”hesaid,laughing.
Shegrinnedandmovedaroundhimtoliftherbagintohistrunk.“ItookthatselfiewhenyoufellasleeponthefloorwatchingPride&Prejudice.Iforgottodeleteit,butthenitwassupereasytoprintandjamintomynecklace.Soyayformyhorriblememory.”
Hejustkeptlookingather.“Thisisterrifyingbehavior.”
“Saysyou.”
“Saysthelawsofpolitesociety.”
“Whatever.Mymotherwilllosehershitoverthisadorablepicofherdaughterclowningwithherboyfriend.”
“ToobadIdidn’tthinktosnapaphotoofyoucrawlingoutofmyhotelroom,”hesaid,hiseyesonhersashegrabbedthelocketagain.“Yourmomwould’velovedthat.”
Halliepicturedhimfacedownandasleepinthatbedasshelookedathimandshookherhead.“Istillcan’tbelieveyousawthat.”
Hiseyesraisedtohers,andhisvoicewasquietwhenhesaid,“HaveIevertoldyouthatI’mdyingtoknowwhatyourememberfromthatnight?”
Shestaredintohisblueeyes,andhervoicecameoutalittlebreathywhenshesaid,“Whatdoyouremember?”
“Everyfuckingthing.”Hesaiditfastandsure,andthenhislipsturnedup.“Butperhapsweshoulddiscussthislater.Whenwehavetimetocomparenotes.”
“Yeah,”shesaidquickly,pushingherhairback.Comparenotes.“Later.”
Astheydrovetotheairport,theywentoverthedetails.Halliethoughtshewasgoingtohavetocoachhimonstories,buteverythingabouttheiractualrelationshiptranslatedintotheirfakerelationship.
Theymetathissister’swedding,reconnectedonadatingapp,andhadbeentextingandgoingontacodateseversince.
Itwastooeasy.
“Soassoonaswehitthesecurityline,webecomeboyfriendandgirlfriend.”Halliewantedtomakesureherealizedthatsheneededhimtobepretendingthewholetime.Itwouldn’tdoforsomeonetoseehimchattingupsomeothergirloutsidetheairportbookstore.“Youknow,justincasesomeoneiswatchingandwedon’tseethem.”
“Theminutewehitsecurity,itison.”
“Ijustwishwedidn’thavetositbyallofthem,”Halliesaid,picturingherauntDiane’snosystare.Shelovedherfamily,buttheywerealwaysupineveryoneelse’sbusiness.
“Wecanupgradetofirstclass,”hesaid,followingthesignthatdirectedhimtowardlong-termparking.
“Shutup.”Halliehadneverbeeninfirstclass.Sheturnedtowardhiminherseatandasked,“Wouldthatcostalot?”
“Aslongastheyhaveavailability,itwon’tcostmeanything.”
“Becauseofallthosemilesyouhave?”
“Bingo.”
“Oh,myGod,Jack,youaremakingitsoeasytofallinlovewithyou.”
Heglancedoverather.“Gladtohearit.”
???
Bythetimetheyheadedforsecurity,Halliewascackling.
Intheshuttlebus,thedriverkeptyellingatJacktoduckbecausehewasjusttootallandtheguycouldn’tseeouttheback.Theyhadn’tbeensureexactlywhatthedriverhadbeenlookingfor,buthisinabilitytoseethroughJackandoutthebackwindowhadreallysethimoff.
ThefacesJackmadeatherwhilegettingscreamedatlefthercryingwithlaughter.
Then,whentheygotinsidetheterminal,Jackrealizedhe’dlefthiskeysontheroofofhiscar,sohe’dhadtotakeacabbacktothelong-termlottoretrievehiskeys.Whenhewalkedbackin,lookingaroundforHallie,hisfacewassofullofirritationthatit’dcrackedherupagain.
“You’readamnhero,Jack,”shesaidastheyapproachedtheTSAline.“Iappreciateyou.”
Helookedoffendedwhenhesaid,“Youshouldn’tenjoymysufferingsomuch.”
“Iknow.It’sacharacterflaw.”
“Itreallyis.”
Whentheyjoinedtheline,HalliefeltJack’sfingersslideinbetweenhers.Shelookedupathisface,buthewaslookingstraightahead,asifholdingherhandwassomethinghewasusedtodoing.
Ohhh.He’sincharacter.
Hallieknewsheshouldbegood,butsomethinginsideherwantedtomesswithhim.Orplaywiththissituation.Whateverthereason,shestartedmovingherthumb,lettingitstrokeovertheheatofhisbighand.
“Hal,”hemurmured,stillnotlookingather.
“Hmmm?”shereplied.
“I’mgreatwithyoudoingthat,”hesaid,squeezingherhandalittletighter.“Butjustknowthatifyou’restilldoingitwhenwegetpasttheguyscanningboardingpasses,I’mkissingyou.”
“What?”shesquealed,alittletooloudly.
Helookedatherthen,hislipsslidingintoadangeroussmile.“Ilikethisgame.I’mabigfan.Whatcouldmakethisdaymorefunthanaone-upchallenge?”
Shegrinned.“What’saone-upchallenge?”
“Atruth-or-dareofsorts.One-uppingeachother.Iholdyourhand,soyoustrokethatthumbofyoursinawaythatmakesmefuckingcrazy.Ikissyou,andyou…one-upme,somehow.”
“Somehow.”Halliecouldn’tlookathim,turningherwarmfacesoshewaslookingatthelineinfrontofher.“Interesting.”
“Isn’tit,though.”
Theybothstoodinsilence,herthumbstillmovingoverhisskin,astheygotclosertothefrontoftheline.Shekepttellingherselftostop,thatitwasn’tagoodidea,butshewasgiddywithanelectricanticipationastheystoodinlinetoembarkupontheirvacation.
Sheswirledherthumbacrosshisskin,makingafigureeight,justasthemaninfrontofthemgothisboardingpassscanned.HerheartwaspoundingasJackletgoofherhandsotheycouldeachholdouttheirpassestobescanned,andsherealizedhe’dbeenkidding,becausethey’dreachedthefrontandhehadn’tkissedheryet.
“Thankyou,”shesaidtotheTSAofficial,shovingherphoneintohercoatpocket.
“Thanks,”Jackmuttered.
Halliehadtakenonesteptowardtheareawherethey’dberemovingtheirshoeswhenJackgrabbedherhandandturnedheraround.Shelookedupathisface,atthoseintenseblueeyes,andbeforeshecouldformulateathought,hishandswereonherface,hislipsonhers.
Shethoughtsheheardhimgrowlasheangledhisheadjustalittleandbitdownonherbottomlip,andthenshemight’vemadeasoundasheopenedhermouthwithhisownanddidsomethingwickedwithhistongue.Herhandscameuptosqueezehisupperarms—orgraspforleverage,shewasn’tsure—ashistonguedippedintohermouthandhekissedherlikehewassamplingdessert,desserthe’dbeendeniedhisentirelifeandnowhecouldn’tgetenoughofit.
Wasstarvedforit.
Hepulledback,lookeddownatherinawaythatmadeherkneesweak,andsaid,“Webettermovebeforewecloguptheline.”
Shenodded.“Yeah.Um,yes.”
Oncetheypassedsecurity,Jackgrabbedherhandandpulledherofftothesideofthefoottraffic.Helookeddownatherwithanunreadableexpression,hiseyesserious,andhesaid,“Areweokay?”
Shenoddedandsaid,“We’reamazing.”
Hiseyessoftenedthen.“Itwasafuckinggreatkiss,wasn’tit?”
“Holyshit,Jack,”shesaid,shakingherheadwithagrin.“Ialmostpassedout.”
Hethrewhisheadbackandlaughed,asoundthatmadeherwanttocurlupandtakeanapinit,andhesaid,“IthinkI’mgoingtolikebeingyourfakeboyfriend.”ChapterSEVENTEENJack
“SolastIheard,youweremessingwithhimontheapp.Nowyou’reactuallydating?”Chuck,Hallie’sbestfriendandalsomaybeherrelative(?),whisper-shoutedtoheracrosstheaisle.
AssoonasHallieandJackgotupgradedtofirstclass,Chuckandhisgirlfriend,Jamie,haddonethesame.Whichwasgood,becausehewantedtogettoknowherfriends,evenifsittingwiththemmadehimatinybitnervous.
Feelingunsettledwasquicklybecominghisdefaultstate.
Becausehehadalot—hugefuckingheaps—ofguiltabouthowthingswentdownwithAlex.He’dfullyintendedtomesswiththeguy,buthehadn’tmeanttogetHalliedumped,andhe’dneverimagineditwouldmakehercrylikethat.
God,hehatedhimselfformakinghercrylikethat.
Everyhourorso,heconsideredconfessing,butselfishly,hedidn’twanttoriskherragewhenhewasdyingtotellherhowhereallyfeltabouther.
“Yep.”JacklistenedasHaltoldChuckallabouttheirbetandTacoHutmeetups,andhefoundhimselfrivetedwhenshefinisheditwith,“ThenIrealizedthatIwashavingabettertimeatourTacoHutdatesthanIwashavingwithanyofthepeopleIwasseeing.”
ThatwasexactlyhowJackfelt.
“Wow,”Chucksaid.“Andthisisdrunkenhotelsexguy,right?”
“Oh,myGod,”Halliewhisper-shrieked.“Yes,butdon’tsayitlikeIhavemorethanoneoccasionofdrunkenhotelsextomyname.”
Jackcouldn’tstophimselffromlaughingandadding,“SomedayI’lltellyouaboutherdesperatesearchforhermissingbra.”
“Jack.”Hallierolledhereyesathim,andthenshrugged.“Okay.NowIhavetohearit.TellmehowridiculousIlookedfromyourpointofview,becauseallIknowisthatIwastryingtogetthehelloutofyourroomwithoutwakingyouup.”
“Holyshit,yes,”Jamiesaid,tiny-clapping.“Ineedtohearthis.”
“Yousure?”heaskedHallie.
“Goahead,”shesaid,laughing.“Theyalreadyknowmyworst.”
“Okay.Well.”JacklookedatthefrecklesonthetipofHallie’snoseandwonderedhowhe’deverthoughtofherasjustcute.“Idon’tknowifsheknewitornot,butourfriendHalherehad,atsometimeduringthenight,fallenasleeponmyfeet.Like,myhugefeetwereherfuckingpillow.”
“Noshit?”Chucksaid.
“Oh,myGod,”Halliegroaned,alreadyregrettingthatshe’daskedtohearthis.
“SoIfeltitthesecondshewokeup,becausebloodflowreturnedtomyextremities.”
Jamiestartedcackling.
“Iwasabouttoliftmyheadandsaysomethingcharmingwhensheliterally—literally—rolledofftheendofthebed.”
Halliestartedlaughing.“Oh,myGod,youwatchedmeroll?”
“Iwatchedyouroll.”
“Wasithotorhorrifying?”Chuckasked.
“Hilarious,”Jacksaid,andHalliegavehimalook.Hereyesstayedonhisfaceasshesmiled,andheadded,“Inahotway.”
“Oh,bullshit,”shesaid.
“Sothen…?”Chuckprompted.
Jackwashavingahardtimenotlaughing.“Sothenshecrawledovertoherclothesand—”
“Wait.”Halliewasgrinningwhenshesaid,“IlookedatyouwhenIwasputtingonmypants,andyouweresoundasleep.”
Thatmadehimlaugh.“Iclosedmyeyesprettyfastwhenyourheadswiveledinmydirection.”
Shesmackedhiminthearmwithalaugh,whichmadehimgrabherhandandsandwichitbetweenhis.
“Shemust’verealizedthebrawasinthebed,”hesaid,“becauseshetiptoedoverandstartedmovingherfingersontopofthesheetslikeshewastryingtofinditwithoutjostlingthebed.”
Theywerealllaughing.Hard.
“Andthen—myangelrighthere—shemuttered‘fuckit’andranoutoftheroom.”
JamieandChuckstartedapplauding,andHalliejustshookherheadathimwhilewearingagrin.Hefeltherindexfingerslideoverhispalm—shewasstillplaying—andhehadnofuckingcluehowtheweekendwasgoingtoshakeout.
Becauseshereallyseemedtobeenjoyingthegame,leaningintothefakedatingthing,buthewasalreadyhavingahardtimerememberingitwasagame.Everytimesheleanedagainsthisarmorheldhishand,hewasalittleshook.
Andthewayshe’dkissedhimbackattheairport—holyshit.He’dassumeditwouldbeaflashbackoftheirnightinthehotel,buteverythinghadchangedsincethen,anditwastotallydifferent.
Thatnighthadbeenallabouthotchemistrywithastranger.
KissingHallieinthesecurityline—thatwassomethingelseentirely.
Thatwaslikecominghome.
Hallie
Jackissogoodatthis.
Sheputherheadbackontheseatandclosedhereyes,relaxedbythesoundofChuckandJack’sconversation.Therewassomethingabouthearingthedeepvoicesofhertwofavoritepeoplethatmadeherfeelallwarmandfuzzyinside.
ButasshelistenedtoChuckhititoffwithJack,shewonderedifsheshouldjusttellhim.Hewasterriblewithsecrets,butshehatedlyingtohim.
AsidefromChuck,though,shewould’vethoughtshe’dbestressedorconcernedaboutwhattheywereupto,thewholefakedatingbit,butshewasn’t.Atall.
Itfelttoogood.
Foronce,whenfacingafamilyevent,shewasn’teventhetiniestbitstressed—anditwasallbecauseofJack.Itremindedherofwhenshewasakidandeverythingwassomehowtolerablewhenherparentsletherbringafriendalong.Hewasherfavoritefriend,andhispresencewasmakingeverythingokay.
AndthatincludedtheideaofseeingBen.
Shewasveryawarethatonceshewasface-to-facewithherexeverythingmightchange,butatthatmoment,thethoughtofitdidn’tmakeherloseherneuroticmind.
Andyes,Jack’sPDAmadeherhotandbothered—shewasonlyhuman,forGod’ssake.Themankissedlikehewasgoingtobemurderedifhedidn’tpullofftheworld’shottestkiss,likeagunwaspointedathisheadandhisonlyshotatlifewastoweakenherkneeswithhismouth.
AnyhumanwouldneedsmellingsaltsafterJackMarshall’smouthtouchedtheirmouth.
ButshewaskindofattributingittowhatJacksaidbefore,abouttheirbodiesknowingeachother.Theyhadslepttogether,soitmadesensethattheirsexualchemistrywouldskewlessonthefriends-faking-lovesideandmoretowardtheraging-wildfire-scorching-thousands-of-acresendofthespectrum.
Shewasn’tevenfazed.
Infact,shethoughttheone-upgamesoundedlikethemostfunshe’dhadinages.Shespenttherestoftheshortflightwithhereyesclosed,butshewasfarfromsleeping.Shewasdownrightgiddyasshethoughtaboutmessingwithhim,ofampingupthePDAindeliciousways.
Andifshewasgiddyatthethoughtofherownactions,shewasdownrightobsessedwiththethoughtofhis.Whatone-upswouldJackMarshallbecapableof?
SheheardhimsaytoChuckandJamieatonepoint,“Ithinkshe’sasleep.”
Notasleep,Jack,shethought,forcingherselfnottosmile.Justlyinginwait.ChapterEIGHTEEN
“Here’syourroomkey,hon.”
Hallietookthekeyfromhermotherassheclimbedoutofthevan.ThewholegrouphadbeenmetattheDenverairportbyafleetofpassengervansthatdrovethemtotheirresorthotelinVail.She’dplannedonmessingwithJackduringthetrek,butbecauseofsomeone’skids’carseatneeds,he’dgoneinthevanwithJamieandChuck,andshe’dbeenstuckintheonethatwastransportingherparentsandgrandparents.
Which,aftertwentyminutesofconstantquestionsaboutJack,requiredevenmorefakesleeping.
“Thanks,”shesaid,smilingasshegotoutandstretched.Themountainairwasamazing,andshefeltsurroundedbytheyellowleavesoftheaspentreesandthesensethatautumnwasarrivingthatverysecond.
Sheglancedtowardthehotelentrance…andsawBen.
God.
Herexwasmaybemorehandsomethanhe’dbeenbefore,andherstomachfilledwithbutterfliesasshelookedatthatface,thefacesheusedtoknowaswellasherown.Hisbrownhairwasalittlelongerthanheusedtokeepit,hehadashortbeardthatlookedreallygoodonhim,anditappearedthathewaswearingtheredplaidscarfshe’dalwaysloved.
Herheartstartedbeatingfaster,butthenshesawhimlaughandnoticedhewaslaughingwithhersister.HervisionpannedawayfromhimandshesawthatBen,Lillie,andChuckwerealllaughingatsomethingJackwassaying.
Sheswallowed.Mightaswellgetthisthingstarted.ShesawJacknoticeherassheheadedtowardhim,anddamn,hewasgoodatbeingafakeboyfriend.
Becauseeventhoughhekeptupwiththeconversation,hiseyeslandedonherwithafocussointensethatevenLillieandBenturnedtoseewhathewaslookingat.
“Hey,you,”shesaid,wrappingbothofherarmsaroundhisrightoneandgoinguponhertiptoesforaquickkiss.
Hiseyesnarrowedeversoslightly,likeaquestion,beforehislipskickedupintoasmileandthequestionwasreplacedwithhisteasing,knowingglint.Hekissedherback,acute,normal-couplepeckofhello,butinsteadoflettinghergo,hegrinnedatherandsaid,“Yourglassesaresmudged—here.”
Hegesturedforhertohandthemover,andshebitdownonagiggleashetooktheglassesfromherfingersanddidthewholehot-breath-smudge-wipethingwiththebottomofhisshirt.Sochivalrous.Insteadofhandingthemback,though,heplacedthemonhernoseandgaveheranintimategrinthatshefeltinhertoes.
“Better?”hesaidinaquietvoice.
“Much,”shebreathed,halfhotandbothered,halftryingnottolaugh.Allofasudden,shewasgladshe’ddecidedtogowithglassesfortravelinginsteadofhercontacts.
“Hey,Hal,”Bensaid.“Longtimenosee.”
HalliefeltBen’svoicelikeapunch,andsheshiftedhergazetohisface.Helookedbeautifulandjustliketheboyshe’dlovedwithherwholeheart,andherthroatwastightassheturnedherlipsupintowhatshehopedwasacasualsmile.“Right?Howareyou?”
“Fantastic,”hesaidwithoutahintofawkwardness,likeitwaseasytofaceher.
“Great,”shereplied,suddenlyunfamiliarwithwords.Shedidn’tlovehimanymore,buthisfacewaslikeasong:Onelookatitandshefelteverysinglebitofsademptinessfromtheirbreakup.“That’sreallygreat.”
Henoddedandsmiled.
“Doyouhaveourroomkey,babe?”Jackasked,knockingherbackintothepresent.
“What?”HallietuckedherhairbehindherearsasJackgaveheraknowinglook,likehewasabsolutelysureofwhereherheadhadjustbeen.Shenoddedandsaid,“Yes.Key.Ihaveit.”
“Whereareyouguys?”Jamieasked.“We’rein326.”
“Everyone’sonthree,”Lilliesaid.“Weblockedoffthewholefloor.”
ChuckaskedHallie,“What’syourroomnumber?”
“Um.”Shebitdownonherlipbeforemuttering,“I’lltextyou.”
“What?”Hersisterputherhandsonherhips.“Whyareyouactingallsecretive?Whatroomareyouin?”
HallieglancedatJack,whowasgivingherthatsexysmirk,beforesaying,“Can’tagirlandherboyfriendmovetoaquieterfloorwithoutitbeingacriminaloffense?”
“You’veneverbeentothishotel.Whywouldyouassumethreeisnoisy?”Halliecouldtellthatforsomereason,thispissedhersisteroff.Lillieaskedher,“Didyouchangethereservation?”
“Idid,”Jacksaid,pickinguphiscarry-onandputtingitoverhisshoulder.“We,uh,justwantedalittleprivacy.”
“Privacy?”Hersisterlookedconfused.“Youhaveyourownroom,forGod’ssake.”
Jamiestartedlaughing,andwhenHallookedather,itwasobviouswhatshethought.
Sheglancedattherestofthegroupandshecouldtellthattheythoughtthesamethingnow,too.
TheyallthoughtthatJackhadreservedaroomonadifferentfloorsoheandHalliecouldhaveaweekendofwildsex.Shefelthercheeksgethotastheyallstaredather,butshewouldn’thavehaditanyotherway.
Suckonthat,Ben.
Shepickedupherownluggage,pulledouttheroomkey,andsaidtoJack,“Shallwegogetsettledin,baby?”
Helookedlikehewantedtosmileattheendearmenttheybothknewshewouldneveruseforhim,andhesaid,“Itwouldbemyabsolutepleasure.”
Astheywalkedintothehotel,hequietlysaid,“IsScarftheex-douchebag?”
“Yes.”Shestartedlaughing,sogladshe’dbroughthim.“Scarfis.”
Jack
“I’lljustcallthefrontdesk.”Halliedroppedherbagsandwalkedtothephoneonthenightstand.Shepressedthezerokeyandsaidwithalaugh,“Butthisishilarious.Idon’tknowthatI’veeverheardofthisactuallyhappeninginreallife.”
Jackwatchedherkickbackontheking-sizedbed,twirlingthephonecordlikeeverythingwasfine.“You’veneverheardofareservationgettingscrewedup?”
“I’veneverheardofanonly-one-bedtropeactuallyhappening.”Sherolledhereyesathimandsaid,“It’saromancenovelthing.Youknow,twopeopleforcedtosleeptogetherinonebedbecausethere’snootheroption…?”
Hiscollarfelttight.“Thatisridiculous.”
Sherolledoverontoherstomachandmuttered,“You’reridiculous.Oh,hi.MynameisHalliePiper,andI’mupon…”
Asshespoketothefrontdeskassociate,Jacksetdownhissuitcaseandwalkedovertothewindow.Theroomwasamazing—stonefireplace,overstuffedreadingchairs,woodfloorwithathickrug,king-sizedbed—buttheviewfromthebalconywasevenbetter.
Heopenedthedoorandsteppedoutside.TheRockyMountainsfilledthehorizon,abreathtakingpanorama,andawide,clearstreamgurgledbelowwithathickborderofyellowaspensoneitherside.
HebracedhisarmsontherailingandtookadeepbreathofColoradoair.
“Ihavegoodnewsandbadnews.”
Jackheardherstepoutontothebalcony,buthedidn’tturnaround.“Ofcourse.”
“Thegoodnews,”shesaid,wrappingherarmsaroundhimandleaninghercheekagainsthisback,“isthatwedon’thavetomovetoaroomonthethirdfloor.”
Jackcouldfeeleverytinymovementofherfingersonhischest,couldfeelhervoicerumblesoothinglyagainsthisskin.Heswallowedandmanaged,“Nice.”
Helookeddownatthetenpinkfingernailsthatwerespreadoutonhischest.Fuck.
“Butthebadnews,”shesaid,kindofgigglingasshespoke,“isthatwehavetostayinthisroom.”
“What?”Heturnedaroundandstareddownatherface.Shelookedstartledbyhisreaction,andherhandsfelltohersidesashesaid,“You’retellingmetheycan’tfindasingleroom?”
Sheblinked.“Well,theydohaveacoupleofrooms,butthey’reonthethirdfloor.”
Hesaid,“Solet’smove.”
“Bymyfamily.”
“So?”heasked.
“Sowejustmadeawholebigthingaboutwantingaprivatesexroom.”
ShewasseriouslygoingtokillhimwithherHallie-ness.Hesighedandsaid,“Weneversaidanythingaboutasexroom,fortheloveofGod.”
“Itwasimplied,”shesaid,asifheweretheridiculousone.“SohowdoIexplainthechangeofheart?Wedidn’twanttohavewildsexinthesamebed,weliketousetwo?Weprefertosleepseparatelyafterwebang?”
“Willyoustopsaying‘bang’?”
“Youdon’tlike‘bang’?”Shesmirkedandsaid,“You,JackMarshall,don’tlike‘bang.’That’sright;youprefer‘jostling’and‘railing.’?”
Hesighed.“Noonewillhavetoknowwe’redownthere.”
“They’llknow,”shesaid.
Hetiltedhisheadandcrackedhisvery-tightneck.“I’llmakesuretheydon’t.”
“Canyoujustdothisforme?”
“No,”hebarked.
“Whynot?”
Heknewhemustsoundtotallyunreasonabletoher.Hesaid,“Ijustthinkit’sabadidea.”
“Why?”
“Why?”Heverynearlyyelledthewordashetriedgettingthroughtoher.“Sharingabedwhilepretendingtobeinarelationship?Thatdoesn’tseemlikeit’streadingsomethingthatcouldfuckupafriendship?”
Sheshrugged,andsomethingaboutthegesturemadehimwanttopullhercoattighteraroundherbodyandmakesureshewaswarmenough.Shesaid,“Igetwhatyou’resaying.Imean,eventhoughwedon’tevertalkaboutit,thisfriendshipmeansalottomeandI’dhateifsomethinggotinthewayofthat.But…”
Heclenchedhisjawtogetherashewaitedforhertocontinue.
“Wedon’thaveanormalfriendship.Webecamefriendsafterweslepttogether.Sexandfeelingscan’tgetintheway,becausewedroveoverthemrightatthebeginning.”
Heswallowed.Whydiditirritatehimthatshewassocoolaboutit,sopositivethatmoreintimacywouldn’taddfeelings?
Dammit,heknewhewasallovertheplaceandmakingzerosense.
Buttherealitywasthathehadn’tconsideredhowmuchofamindfuckthefakedatingmightbeforhim.Hedidn’tlikethatitfeltrealwhenshewrappedherarmsaroundhim,andhedidn’tlikethewayhefeltwhenhekissedher;itfeltlikeeverythinghewanted.Andsinceshewas,infact,fakingitinaccordancewiththeiragreement,ifheactedonhisfeelingsundertheguiseoffakingit,thatfeltlikelying.Orfraud.
Hewantedtotellherhowhefeltaboutherandthengivehertimetoexploreherownfeelingsandrespondaccordingly.Butifhetoldherhowhefeltnow,wouldshethinkitwaspartofthegame?Oraresultofthegame?
Or,worse,wouldsheconfusetheirpretendrelationshipwithhertruefeelingsforhim?
Thebestthingtodo,asmuchashedidn’twantto,waswaituntiltheygotbacktoOmahatodiscusshisfeelings.Theyneededtofakedateforherfamilylikehehadagreedtodo,keeptheirhandsoffeachotherinprivate,andrevisitwhatwasreallygoingononcetheywerewheels-downathome.
Hesaid,“Hal,maybe—”
“You’reoverthinkingthis,Jack.”
Somethingaboutthewayshesaiditandthelookonherfacemadehimpause.“Whatdoyoumean?”
Shelookedalittlebitshybutalsoentirelyconfidentassheliftedherchinandsaid,“Ireallylikedkissingyouattheairport,andifithappensagainundertheguiseoffakedating,Iwillenjoyeveryminuteofit.ButIalsothinksleepinginthesamebedwithyousoundslikeanabsoluteblast,likeagrown-upplatonicsleepover.Wecanhandleit.”
Hehadnoideahowtorespondtothattemptingbutterribleidea,andhecouldsmellherperfume,whichsomehowmadeeverythingworse.
Whentheyhadmadetheirtravelplans,he’dimaginedtheywouldbehavelikeroommatesfortheweekend.Inthatscenario,theywouldbewatchingTVfromtwoseparatebedsonoppositesidesoftheroomandtellingjokesinthedark.
Buttalkinginthedarkinthesamebed?WatchingTVunderthesameblanket?Hisheadfeltlikeitwasgoingtoexplodewhenhethoughtaboutit.
Shesaid,“Theminutewecrossthesecuritylinebackhome,wecanreturntobeingfriendswhoareeachrespectivelysearchingfortheirsoulmates.”
Heturnedhisheadtothesideandcrackedhisneckagain,suddenlystiffashell.“Well,Idon’tthink—”
“Tellmeonegoodreasonwhywecan’tmakethiswork.”
Hehadaverygoodreason,butnotonehefeltlikesharinguntiltheywerehome.Heletouthisbreathandsaid,“Fine.We’llstayinthisroom,butifyoutouchme,IsweartoGodI’mscreaming.”
Hallie
Wasitweirdthatshefoundthissideofhimadorable?Teasing,hilariousJackwasbeinguncharacteristicallyuptightandgenuinelyworriedaboutjeopardizingtheirfriendship.
HewassweetunderallthatJack.
Shereallydidn’twanthimtobeuncomfortable,though,sosheaskedhim,“Arewegood?”
Herolledhiseyesandtousledherhair.“Fuckrightoffwiththecoddling,Hal.I’mfine;I’mjusttryingtoprotectthis.”
“Great.”Halliesmackedhishand,steppedawayfromhim,andstraightenedherhairwhilefeelingpunchedinthegutbytheemotionsbehindhiswords.Protectthis.Somethinginthewayhesaiditmadeherfeel…unsettled,butitwasprobablythefactthatshedidn’tlikeadmittinghowimportanthisfriendshiphadbecometoher.
“SodoyouwanttogodoVailorwhat?”heasked,soundinglikeatotalgrump.
“Let’sdoit,”shesaid.“CareifIchangefirst?”
“Yeah,Iwill,too.”
Shewentintothebathroomandchangedintoablackturtlenecksweater,jeans,andhikingboots.Sherolledherclothesupintoaballtohideherunderwear,thesamewayshedidwhenshehadtovisitthegynecologist.
Godforbidpeopleknewsheworeunderwear.
“Listen,Jack,”shestarted,pullingopenthebathroomdoor,“maybewe…”
Thewordsdiedonherlipswhenshesawhimstandinginfrontofhissuitcaseinjusthisjeans—jeansthatwerehanginglowenoughthatthewaistbandofwhatappearedtobeboxerbriefswasvisible.
DearGod.
Hehadthatjutting-hip-bonethingthatshehadthoughtonlyexistedonthecoversofcowboyromancenovels.
“Yes?”heasked.
Shelookedupfromhisstomach.“What?”
Hesmiledalittle.“Yousaidmaybewe…andthenyoutrailedoff.”
“Oh.Yeah.”Shegaveabreathylaughandsaid,“God,youcaughtmeoffguard.Iforgothow,um,howthatyouare.”
Andshegesturedwithherfreehandtowardhisnakedtorso.
“?‘That’?”herepeated,withoneeyebrowraised.
“Yes,that.”Sherolledhereyesandsaid,“YouknowexactlywhatImean,JackMarshall.”
Herepeated,grinning,“That.”
Assheopenedhersuitcasebesidehisanddroppedherclothesinside,shesaidinanoctavelowerthanherusualvoice,“MynameisJack.I’msohot.I’msothat.”
Hestartedlaughing.
“PleaseputonashirtbeforeIkillyou,”shesaid,grabbingherjacketfromahangerandslidingintoit.
“Becausemy…thatisbotheringyou?”
Sheshookherheadandnarrowedhereyesintohermeanestsquint.“Y’knowwhat?Don’twearashirt.SeeifIcare.Gohikenaked.I’lllaughmyassoffwhenthebearseatyourthat.”
“I’mprettysureIcanoutrunyou,”hesaid,stilllaughingashepulledhisgrayHenleyoverhisheadandthreadedhisarmsthroughthesleeves.“SoI’mconfidentmythatwillremainintact.”
“But,”shesaid,“assoonasyouattempttooutrunme—”
“Piper.”Hereachedoutabighandandfistedthefrontofherjacket,hiseyesstillsmilingasheplayfullyyankedheralittlecloser.“Idon’tbelieveforasecondthatyou’dletabeareatme.”
“No?”sheasked,herheartdoingalittlestutterinherchestasshewasinstantlyawareofthedistancebetweenhismouthandhers.
“No.”Hiseyesdroppeddowntoherlips,likehewasthinkingthesamething.Forabeattheywerebothfrozeninpossibilities,neithermovingnorspeaking,butthenJackclearedhisthroatandsaid,“BecauseI’mtheonlyonewhogetsyourtacoorderright.”
“True.”Hallienodded,andherlipsslidintoasmileoftheirownaccordasshefeltallwarminside.“Nooneelseunderstandsthatit’sridiculoustoputthecheeseontop.”
“Imean,”hesaid,hisgrinmatchinghers,“whatisthepointofcold,hardcheese?”ChapterNINETEEN
Theyspenttheafternoon,justthetwoofthem,walkingalloverVail.SheforcedhimtogodownthehillwithhertothenearestStarbucksbeforetheyvisitedthecharmingshops,andafterthattheysnaggedbeerandslicesoutsideanadorablepizzeria.
They’dintendedtohikeupintothemountains,butthevillageofVailhadbeensopicturesque,theafternoonsoautumnallygorgeous,thatthey’djuststrolledinstead.
Halliefelthappybecause,inspiteofhisconcerns,fakedatingJackwashernewfavoritepastime.Aloneinthemountains,theywouldn’thavetopretend.Butinthepicturesquelittletown,anyoneattendingtheweddingcouldseethem.
Whichwaswhysheheldhishandwhiletheywalkedaround,hoppedonhisbackwhenherlegsgottiredandheofferedapiggyback,andwhyshekissedhim.
Itwasabsolutelynecessary.
WhentheystoppedinfrontofastorethatlookedlikeatinychaletandHallieattemptedaFrenchaccent,Jackgaveherthemockeryshedeserved.
“Thatisatrocious,Piper,”hesaid,laughingather,andsherealizedthathissmilingfacewasonlyaboutaninchortwoabovehers.Just…rightthere.
Soclose.
Heswallowedastheireyesheld,asifnoticingthesamething,andshesaid,“IthinkIseemyuncleBobcoming.”
“You’relookingatme.Howwouldyouseethat?”heasked,hiseyesdippingdowntoherlips.
“It’slikeanintuitionthing,”shesaidinanear-whisper.“Justincase,weshouldprobablykiss.”
Hesaidinadeep,quietvoice,“HalliePiper,doyouevenhaveanuncleBob?”
“Ijustwanttosobadly,”shebreathed,unsureifshewastalkingaboutkissingorhavinganuncleBob.
“Well,ifyouwantto,”hesaid,reachingoutwithafingertotracethearchofhereyebrow,hiseyesalloverherface,“maybeyoushould.”
Thewordswerenothing,buthistonewaschallenging.Daring.
Soshetuggedonthecollarofhiscoat,pullinghimdownalittlecloserasshewentuponhertiptoes.Insteadofgoingforhismouth,though,shekissedthesideofhisneck,breathinginhisscentwhilescrapinghisthroatwithherteeth.Shecouldfeelhisintakeofbreath,andshereveledinthetinygroanasherlipsandtonguetastedhiswarmskin.
Imagesshotthroughherheadassheimaginedwhatitwouldbeliketodothatwhentheyweren’tonapublicstreetinacharmingmountainvill—
“Hal.Youneedtostop.That.Shit.”Jackgrabbedherupperarmsandsetherastepawayfromhim,hisvoicealittlegravelly.Heranahanddownhisface,breathedinthroughhisnose,andsaid,whilenotlookingather,“Comeon.Ineedtowalk.”
Shefeltlikeasexgoddessastheystartedwalking,likeshe’drenderedhimweakwithherseductiveneckingskills.Shehadn’trealizedshe’dbeensmiling,though,untilhenudgedherarmandsaid,“Quitthat.”
Itwasbarelyanhourlaterwhentheykissedagain,butthistimeitwasallJack.Theywereintheouterwearstore,andJackwentbacktothemen’ssectionwhileHallieshoppedinthewomen’s.
Thestoreemployeewastotallyaskibro:young,adorable,athletic,andintoskiing.Hechattedherupabouttheslopes,andthenheputacutehatonherhead
“YouneedtogetthepinkPatagonia.Totallymakesyourgorgeousgreenspop.”
Sherolledhereyesandshookherheadatthedude.“Stupidsentenceslikethataren’tgoingtogetyouthePatagoniacommission.Notfromme,atleast.”
Hesmiledandadjustedthehat,pullingitdownontoherforehead.“It’snotnicetocallmyheartfeltcomplimentstupid.”
Shelaughedandsaid,“I’mnotbuyingthehat.”
Suddenly,Jackwasrightbesideher.Shefelthispresencebeforeshesawhim,andshesmiledupathimashereachedoutahandandtuggedononeofthehat’sdanglingstrings.
“Ilikeit,”hesaid,lookingatherinawaythatseemedobsceneinpublic.Hiseyesdidn’twaverfromhers,andtheheatinthemnearlyscorchedheririses.Shedidn’tevenknowhowtorespond.Heturnedhisattentiontothesalesguyandsaid,“We’lltakeit.”
Theymovedtothecashregister,andassoonasJackpaidforthehat,hemaneuveredherthroughthesmallstoreandintoachangingroom.“IthinkIseearelative.”
“Youneedanumberforthechangingroom,”thesalesguyshouted.
Beforeshecouldsayaword,thedoorclosedandJack’smouthwasonhers,feedingherwildkissesthatmadeherpulsebeathardashishandsrestedonthewalloneithersideofherface.Themirrorwasatherbackashepressedagainsther—everyhardbitofhim—andshekissedbackwithasmuchhungerasshefeltfromhim.
Hecursedagainstherlipsandraisedhishead.Hegaveheradirtygrinandsaid,“Ithinkthey’regone.”
“Yousure?”Sheraisedherthumbanddraggeditoverhislowerlip.Haditalwaysbeenthisfull?“Imean,theycouldstillbelurking.”
Hiseyeswereheavy-liddedashelightlybitdownonherfinger—wow,howdidthatfeelhot—andthentookastepbackfromher.Hedraggedhishandsthroughhishair.“I’mafraidyourboyfriendoutthere’sgonnacallthecopsonus,andyoursisterwillkillusifwegetarrested.”
“Oh,yeah.”Shekeptforgettingaboutthewedding.“Whattimeisit?”
Heglancedathiswatch.“5:05.”
“Weshouldprobablyheadbacksowecanshowerandgetreadyfortherehearsal.”
“Afteronemorecoffeestoutatthebrewery…?”
“Fine.”Sherolledhereyesandsaid,“Youbetterchug,though,becauseittakesalongtimetomakethisgirllookpresentable.”
“Justwearthehatandcallitgood.Theguyisright—makesyourgorgeousgreenspop.”
“Onthatnote,”shesaidastheyleftthefittingroomandwalkedtowardtheexit,“canyoupleasenotinterruptnexttimeI’mbeingcomplimentedbyabro?Imight’vegottenluckyifyouhadn’tsteppedin.”
Hemessedupherhairandputhisarmaroundherneck.“Sorry,mybad.”
Aftertheygotback,Jackdecidedtogoworkout.Thatway,hesaid,shecouldhavetheroomtoherselfforanhourtogetreadybeforeheneededtoshower.
“Yousure?”Shecrossedherarmsandwatchedashegrabbedrunningshoes,shorts,andaT-shirt.“Iwaskidding—Icangetreadyprettyfast.”
“I’mdyingtogetinaquickmountainrun,”hesaid,walkingtowardthebathroom.“AndIneedtolift.Icangetreadyfordinnerinfifteenminutes,sothetimingwillbeperfect.”
Afterheleft,Hallietookalong,luxuriousshower.Shewashavingthetimeofherlifeplayingboyfriend/girlfriendwithJack,andshewishedtheweekendwouldneverend.
Partofherfeltlikesheshouldslowdownandexaminethe“why”ofherenjoyment,butshequicklypushedthatthoughtoutofhermind.
HalliedidherhairandthenappliedsomeeyeshadowforasmokyeyelookwhilehalfwatchingaTopChefmarathon.Whenshewasfinished,shesteamedafewwrinklesoutofherdressandputiton.
Hersister,theattentionwhore,washavingallthebridesmaidswearwhitetotherehearsal,whilesheworeascarletgown,andthenthecolorswouldbeflippedforthewedding.She’dbeenobsessedwiththeideasinceTaylor’sversionofRedcameout,andshe’dfoundamanwhowasall-inonhertheatricalside.Itwouldbeamazingforthephotos,butsinceitwashersister,Halliejustconsidereditannoyingandmelodramatic.
Shedidloveherdress,though.
Itwaslongandwhite,aflowyfabricthathuggedherbodybutwasn’tstucktoit.Oneshoulderhadawhiterufflethatcutdiagonallytoherwaist,whiletheothershoulderwasbare.Halliethoughtitlookedlikesomethingshe’dweartooneofDiddy’swhitepartiesifshewerefamousenoughtobeinvited,ifhestilldidthose…and,nowthatshewasthinkingaboutit,ifhewasevenstillcalledthat.
ShewasputtingonherpearlearringswhensheheardJackatthedoor.Shewasreadyforhimtomakefunofherforlookingpositivelybridal,butwhensheopenedthedoorandsaid“Marryme”inherbestMaebyFünkevoice,hedidn’tcrackasmile.
Hiseyesmovedalloverher,fromherhairtoherfaceanddownthelengthofherdress,beforehejustsaid,“Wow.”
“Iknow,”shesaid,rollinghereyes.“She’smakingallthebridesmaidswearwhitetonight.It’ssoover-the-top,butshe’sthebride.”
Sheturnedawayfromhimandwenttograbherbeadedhandbagfromthenightstand.“I’mgoingtogodowntoChuck’ssoyoucanhavesomeprivacy—”
“No.”
“Huh?”Shelookedathimoverhershoulder,andasheclearedhisthroat,hereyesdroppeddowntohisneck,hissweat-dampenedshirt,andthenhislegs.
Oh,God,thoselegs.Hehadthick,chiseledcalves.
Shewassuchasuckerforagoodcalf.
Hehadverybitablecalves,ifthatwasathing.
Hesaid,“Juststay.IneedtenminutestopsinthebathroomandI’mready.”
“Yousure?”Shestraightenedandturnedaround,butshewashavingtroublewithwords.Outofnowhere,shewaszappedwiththeawarenessthathewasgoingtobeshowering,naked,justthroughthatdoorinmereminutes,gettingallwetandsoapyand—oh,my.
“Yep.”
“Okay.Cool.”Shewalkedovertothemirrorthathungbetweenthehotelfridgeandthedeskandleanedalittleclosertocheckherlipstick.
“Don’tmove.”Jackwalkedoverandsteppedbehindher,andtheylookedateachotherinthemirror.“You’reonlyhalfwayzipped.”
“Oh.”Halliesuckedinabreathwhenshefelthisfingersonherzipper,hisotherhandonherlowerback,andtheheatofhisbodybehindher.Throughthemirror,shewatchedhiseyesonherbackasheslowlyslidupthezipper.Shesawtheclenchofhisjawandtheflareofhisnostrils,andhowhislefthandlingeredafterthezipperreachedthetop,restingonherlowerback.Afteramoment,hesteppedback,clearedhisthroat,andsaid,“Okay—howlongdoIhave?”
Sheblinked,confusedforasecond,beforelookingaroundhiminthemirrorattheclock.“Uh,fifteenminutes,”shesaid.
Henoddedandwalkedtowardthegarmentbagthatwashangingnexttothebathroom.“Easypeasy,”hesaid,beforegoinginthebathroomandshuttingthedoorbehindhim.
Jack
Hewasprettysuretheweekendwasgoingtokillhim.
Heturnedontheshower,butnomatterwhathedid,hecouldn’tgettheimageofHallieinthatwhitedressoutofhishead.Herwavyhair,redlipstick,pearlearrings—shelookedlikeafuckingbride.
Whatwasthatexpression—amanplansandGodlaughs?
Yeah,someonewascacklingatthatmomentathisidioticfakerelationshipplan.
HetoedoffhisrunningshoesandpulledhisshirtoverhisheadbeforehegrabbedhisphoneandtextedHallie.
Jack:Ishould’vesaidthisbefore,butyoulookincredible.
Heknewshewaswrinklingherbrowasshereadthemessage.
Hallie:Whyareyoutextingmefromthebathroom?
Jack:BecauseIdon’twantthissentimenttogetcaughtupinourgames.YourbuddyJack—notfakeboyfriend—istellingyouinapurelysubjectivestatementthatyoulookabsolutelystunning.
Hallie:WellifI’mbeinghonestwithmyreal-lifebestie,notmyfakebf,I’mhavingthebesttimevacationingwithyouandIdon’twantittoend.
Jack:Same.
Heputdownthephone,shedhisremainingclothes,andgotintheshower.
HewishedhehadanyfuckingcluewhatHalliewasthinking.Whatshewasfeeling
Becauseitappearedtohimthatshewasenjoyingtheirlittlegamejustasmuchashewas.Butsheseemedcasualashellaboutit—blasé,even,whichmadehimthinkshewasstillhiswingwomanandjust“leaningin”totheweekendofpretend,whateversheevenmeantbythat.
Andifthatwasthecase,hecouldn’tbarehissoultoherandrisklosingherasafriend.
Hequicklyshaved,brushedhisteeth,andcombedhishairbeforegettingdressed,andwhenhewalkedoutofthebathroomandlookedatherinthatdressagain,leaningbackonthebedandlookingatherphone,hisnecktiefeltlikeitwasstranglinghim.
Hisphonebuzzedasheslidhisfeetintohisdressshoes,andhepulleditoutofhispocket.
Hallie:Don’tletthisgotoyourhead,butyoulookhandsomeAF.Like,Iwanttocallyoubeautiful,butIfeellikeyou’llbeinsulted.
Jacktriedtoswallow,buthisthroatwasfuckedupallofasudden.
Hetextedback:Areyoureadytogo,TB?
Hekepthiseyesonhisphonebutheardhergiggleasshetexted:Iam.ButIfeellikeIshouldwarnyou—yourgirlfriendgetsalittlehandsywhenshedrinkswine.
Hecouldn’tnotgrin,andherespondedwith:ThenIfeellikeIshouldwarnYOU—whenmygirlfriendgetshandsy,Iusuallyfindthenearestbroomclosetorelevatorandmakeherscream.
Hedidlookatherthen,halfsmilingbecauseheknewhe’dshutherup,andheinstantlyregrettedit.Becausefirst,hermouthdroppedopenandhercheeksgotred;theresponsehe’dbeenshootingfor.Butthen—holyballs—shepuckeredhercrimsonlips,tiltedherhead,lookedhimstraightintheface,andraisedaninterestedeyebrow.
Fuckmylife,hethought,ashepulledopenthedoorandhelditforher.ChapterTWENTYHallie
“Sowewantthebridalpartyoutinthehallway,”Hallie’smothershouted,“andeveryoneelseintheballroom.”
HallierolledhereyesandsaidtoJack,whowasholdingherhandandpatientlywaitingfortherehearsaltogetunderway,“I’llbeback.”
“I’llbeintheballroom,apparently.”
Shestartedpullingaway,buthejerkedherbackandkissedthetipofhernose.Hiseyeswerewarmashesmileddownather,andherstomachdidthetiniestlittleflipasshehadnochoicebuttosmileback.
Shewasgrinningasshewalkedoutintothehallway,lostinherownthoughts.Somuchsothatshedidn’tevenseeBenuntilhesaid,“Hey,Hal.”
Shestoppedwalkingandlookedathim,irrationallyirritatedbyhisuseofhershortenedname.“Ben.Hi.”
Hesmiledandsaid,“Youlookgreat.”
“Thanks.”Sherubbedherlipstogetherandlookedataspotjustpasthisshoulders,becauseshedidn’twanttoseehiswarmbrowneyes.Shesaid,“Yeah,you,too.”
OfcourseBenwasthekindofperfectguywhocouldn’tabidetheelephantintheroom,sohesaid,“Listen,Idon’twantthisweddingtobeawkward—”
Sheheldupahand.“Itwon’t.”
“—soIhopeyou’llacceptmyapology.”
Shedroppedherhandanddidlookathiseyesthen,shockedbyhiswords.Apologizinghadneverreallybeenhisthing,evenwhenhe’drippedherheartout.Halliecrossedherarms,suddenlycold,andsaid,“For…?”
“Foreverything.”HesqueezedtheFijiwaterbottlehewasholding,likehewasnervous,andsaid,“I’msosorry.”
Shelookedathimandwasseriouslyconflicted.Partofherwantedhimtosufferforever,becauseshecouldstillfeelthepainofhisrejection.Shemightnotwanthimanymore,butshe’dbelyingifshesaidthatcertainsongsdidn’ttakeherrightbacktothatSeptemberandstillfillherwithanachingmelancholy.
Butalargerpartofheralsodidn’tcare.Shelookedathim,athisbeautifulface,andallshefeltwasnostalgia.
Sheswallowedandsaid,“It’shistory,Ben—allisforgotten.”
Hiseyebrowswentupandheturnedhisheadalittle,likehewasn’tsurehe’dheardhercorrectly.“What?”
“I’moverit,sowe’recool.”
“Wow.”Hesmiled,lookingtotallysurprised,andshewonderedifshe’deverbeabletolookathimandnotfeelatinybitsad.She’dneverwanttogetbacktogetherwithhim,butshe’dprobablyalsoneverfeelnothingforhim,either.“Ican’tbelieveyou’rebeingthisniceaboutitall.”
“Why?”sheasked,andtheybothsharedasmile.Becausethelasttimethey’dspoken,shemight’vecalledhimSatan(amongstotherchoicewords)andtakenhisbelovedWorldSeriesbaseball.
Sheshruggedandsaid,“Youweren’tthathardtogetover,Scarf.”
Jack
Jack:Areyoucoldorjustreallyhappytobeatthisrehearsal?
Hallie:Firstofall,youwillnotmakemelookdownatmyownbreastswithyourchildishbehavior.
Jacklaughedquietlyandlookedupfromhisphonelongenoughtoseeherstickouthertongueathim.Shelookeddownatherdeviceandstartedtypingagain.
Hallie:Secondofall,IgotsenttotheprincipalinjuniorhighbecausewhenJonCarsonsaidthatexactsamethingtome,Iwentonarantinthelunchroomabouthowheobviouslyknewnothingaboutnipples.IgotintroubleforsayingNIPPLESandhegotoff.
Jack:Ibethedid.
Hallie:You’reanidiot.
“Hallie,forGod’ssake,”hermothersaid,puttingherhandsonherhipsandyelling,“canyouputdownyourphoneforfiveminutessowecanhaveadamnrehearsalhere?”
Hallierolledhereyesandsetherphoneontheemptyseatbesideher.
Jacklaughedagainfromhisspotinthegallery.Theweddingwasgoingtobeoutsidethefollowingday,buttheywererehearsinginsidebecauseanotherweddingwasgoingontoday.
Everyoneelseintheroomhadaroleinthewedding,butJack’sonlyjobwastositandwatchthetrainwreck.Hal’smomandsisterbothseemedtobeintenseabouteverysingledetail,andHal’sexwouldn’tstopstaringatHal,butshehadspenttheentiretimelookingboredbecauseshewasonherphone.
Textinghim.
Busted,hetexted.
Hewatchedherabsolutelyignorehermother’swarningassheglancedatherphoneandquicklysent:Quitgettingmeintrouble.
Hallie
“Thatisdisgusting.”
HallielookedupfromherphoneandatCarolyn,hersister’smaidofhonor,whohappenedtobestandingnexttoherandgrinningwithhernosewrinkled.“What?”sheasked.
“Thewayyourboyfriendwatchesyou.Iwanttovomitwithjealousy.”
HalliefollowedCarolyn’sgazetoJack,whowasgivingherthatsarcasticlittlesmirksheloved.“He’sactuallybeingabrat—that’swhatthatlookis.”
“Idon’tmeanthisminute,”shesaid,glancingtowardHallie’smom,whowashavingashitfitabouttheviolinist.“Imeanthatsincewegothere,yourboyfriendhasbeensittingtherestaringatyouasifyou’rethemostamazingthinghe’severseen.”
Hallieneededtoremembertotellhimtotoneitdownalittlesohedidn’tcomeoffasaclingycreep.Hewasgoodatlookingatherlikeshewasamazing,though;thelookhewasgivingheratthatmomentdidwildthingstoherstomach.
Sheopenedhermouthtodownplayit,butrememberedthatshedidactuallywanteveryonetothinkJackwastheperfectboyfriendwhoworshipedthegroundshewalkedon.
“He’sjust,um,”shesaid,tryingtothinkoftherightwords.“Jackisjustveryfocused.”
“Well,bravo,Hallie,”Carolynsaid,lookingdownrightwickedasshegazedatJack.“Afocusedmanishardtofind.”
???
“Okay,soIbribedtheservertoputusatChuckandJamie’stable.”
“What?”Hallieaskedastheywalkedintothelodge’sgreatroom.Jackhadimmediatelyreachedforherhandwhentherehearsalended,andshe’dyettofindawaytoone-uphimintheircurrentsituation.
“Theservertoldmethatthereisn’taheadtable,soyouandIwerealreadyseatedtogether.”Histhumbstrokedoverherpalmandshefeltiteverywhere.“IjusthadherflipitsowegettositbyyourfriendsinsteadofyouruncleMarcoandauntTam.”
Hallielookedupathismischievousfaceandwonderedhowhecouldbesoperfect.MarcoandTamwereloud,obnoxiouspeople,andthatwould’vebeentheworst.Shesaid,“Mysister’sgoingtokillyou.”
Hesaid,“Areyou,though?”
“Youarethegreatestboyfriendintheworld.Icouldnever.”
Hepulledouthisphoneandsentatext,andherphonebuzzed.
Shepulleditoutofherpocketandreadthemessage.
Jack:ButyoucouldkillME,yes?
Shesmiled,pulledherhandfree,andreplied:I’vespenthoursdaydreamingaboutthatverything
Jack:Freak.
Hallie:I’mnot,butyourgirlfriendtoldmeyouliketeethonyourneck.
Jack:Don’ttellherwhatI’mabouttotellyou—thisisjustbetweenHal’n’Jack
Hallie:Yay!Thecountry’n’isback!
Jack:Toldyouwe’dreviveit.
Hallie:You’renothingifnotdependable.Anyway,whatdon’tyouwantmetotellyourbeautiful,charminggirlfriend?
Jack:Whenshekissedmynecktoday,Iwas*this*closetobegginghertogobacktotheroomwithme.
Atthethought,Hallie’sstomachdippedandshefeltalittlelight-headed.So…youwantedhertogobackformorebiting?
Jack:Biting’n’more.’N’muchmore.
“Wouldyoutwoputyourphonesaway?”Chuckyelledfromhisseat.“Comeon,itlookslikeyou’reatourtable.”
HallieandJackwalkedovertothetable,andHalliewasgladthemomenthadbeenbroken,becauseshe’dbeenabouttobegherbestfriendfor“?’n’more”allnightlong.ShetooktheseatbetweenChuckandJackandimmediatelyreachedfortheglassofwinebesideherplateanddrainedit.
“Youdrankthatveryfast,younglady,”Jacksaidinalowvoicenexttoherear.
Sheglancedathimandrolledhereyeswhenhegaveherthatfunnylittlesquintthatcalledheroutonherflusteredstate.
TheroomwassetuptoputHallie’ssisterinthespotlight.Therewasatableinthecenteroftheroomcoveredinwhitelinenstoaccentuateherandherhusband-to-be’sbloodredformalwear(yes,Rileyhadoptedforaredsuittomatchhisbride).Ahuge,glowingchandelierhungovertheirtable,literallyputtingtheminthespotlight.
Everyoneelsewasseatedatwhitetablesdispersedaroundtheroominnear-darkness,asidefromthecandelabracenterpieces.
Halliehadtohandittohersister;thegirlknewhowtocreateamood.
“Sowhat’dyoutwodoallday?”Chuckhadalreadyloosenedhistie,anditwasverycrooked.“Ifiguredwe’drunintoyousomewhere.”
“Wejustwalkedaroundthetown,”Halliesaid,thinkingaboutthewayJackhadbeennervousabouttheirfacadeandtheirsleepingsituation.Thewayhe’dreferredtotheirfriendshipassomethingtoprotect.“Whataboutyouguys?”
ChuckandJamielaunchedintoastoryaboutgettingstuckhikingwithfamily,butHalliecouldn’tfocus.HerskinwaspricklywithawarenessofJack’sproximity,ofzippersandcalvesandsoapyshowers.
Whatwaswrongwithher?
Theminutetheyfinishedtheirstory,Halliestoodandsaid,“I’mgettingadrink.”
Shewalkedovertothebar,regrettingthatdecisioninstantlybecauseshe’dbeenabletoavoidrelativesalldaybysneakingawaywithJack,butnowshehadnoescape.Bythetimeshefinallyhadavodkacranberryinherhand,she’dspokentoahandfulofcousinsandthreeuncles.
AndnoneofthathadclearedJackoutofherhead.
Themealwasfinallyserved,butshewasn’tevenhungry.Shewastoo…antsytoeat.Shemindlesslyparticipatedindinnerconversation,andshewasbeyondgratefulthatJackhadswappedtheirseats,becauseChuckandJamiewerekeepinghimentertained,soHalliewasabletosilentlyspiralinpeace.
Iwas*this*closetobegginghertogobacktotheroomwithme.
“Hal.”
“Huh?”
Jackwaslookingatherquestioningly.Hisblueeyessearchedherfaceforsomethingandapparentlydidn’tfindit,becausehesaid,“Comeoutsidewithmeforasec?”
Herheartstartedpoundinginherchestandshejustnodded.
“We’llberightback,”hesaidtothetableashelinkedhisfingerstightlybetweenhersandledheroutoftheroomandintothehallway.Hermindwasspinning,butshecouldn’tthinkofanythingspecific,whichwasbizarre.Shejustfelt…nervous…?
Hedidn’ttakeheroutside,didn’tstopuntilhereachedanunlabeledcloset.Hepulledopenthedoor,ledherinside,thenclosedthedoorbehindthem.Theclosetsmelledlikeamixofbleachandcleanlaundry,anditwasdarkexceptforthetinybitoflightcomingthroughthedoorvents.
Shecouldbarelyseehisface.
“Whatareyoudoing?”shesaidasheturnedsoherbackwasagainstthedoor.
“Whyareyoufreakingout,Hal?”hesaid,hisvoicedeepandalittlehuskyinherear.
Shewantedtodenyit,butthiswasJack.Heknewhertoowell.Herbreathingfeltshallowasshesaid,“Idon’tactuallyknow.”
Shecouldsmellwhiskeywhenhespoke.“DoesithavetodowithwhatIsaidaboutbeggingyoutogobacktothehotelroom?”
Sheswallowed.“Imean—”
“Iknewourgameswereabadidea.”Shecouldfeeltheclosenessofhisbody,eventhoughtheyweren’ttouching,andhesaid,“I’mnotlosingyouoversex.Fortherestoftheweekend,IthinkweshouldfakedatewithoutanyofthePDAbullshit.”
Disappointmentsurgedthroughher;hissuggestionwaskindoftheoppositeofwhatshe’dbeenthinking.Shesaid,“Well,waitaminute—that’salittlerash,don’tyouthink?”
Hechuckleddarklyinherear.“Thenwhatdoyousuggest?”
“Um,”shesaid,notwantingtogiveuptheintimacythey’dsharedsincearrivinginColorado,“maybewejustsetahardandfastruleaboutsex.”
“Thatithastobehardandfast?”hegrowled,andshefelthisteethonherearlobe.
“YouknowwhatImean,perv,”shesaidinanear-whisper.
“Ido.”Henuzzledhisnoseagainstherneck,hisbreathstreakingoverherskin.“Wesolemnlyswearnottohavesexthisweekend,nomatterhowmanytimesyoubiteme.”
“Exactly.”Shelaughed.“Andnomatterhowniceyourcalvesare.”
Heliftedhishead.“Mycalves?”
“I’msodistractedbythem,youdon’tevenknow,”sheconfessed.
Hestartedlaughing,andthesoundfilledthedarkness.
“Weshouldprobablygobacknow,”Halliesaid,notwantingtobutknowinghermotherandsisterwouldn’tputupwithherabsenceforlong.“I’msuresomeonewillbegivingatoastsoon.”
“Wait.”Hisphonelitupthedarkness,andsheheardhismessagesendbeforeherphonebuzzed.
Shepulleditoutofherpocket.
Jack:Sincewe’vedoubleddownonthisweekendbeingaone-off,canIkissyou?
Shestaredatthetextforalongmoment,wonderinghowtorespond,andthensheturnedoffherphoneandsliditbackintoherpocket.Shesaid,“We’vekissedmultipletimessinceyoupickedmeupthismorning.You’reaskingpermissionnow?”
Thehardlineofhisjawwascaughtinthelightofhisphone.“I’mnotaskingasyourfakeboyfriend.”
Hallie’sheartbeatpickedupagain.Shefeltachillontheskinofherneckasshesaid,“So…youwanttokissme?”
Hisphone’sdisplaytimedoutandturnedoff,andsheheardaroaringinherearsasshewaitedforhisanswer.
“Justonce,”hesaid,hisvoicegravelly.“JackandHallieforreal,beforethingsgobacktonormal.”
Sheseriouslythoughtshemightfaint.Shestruggledforwordsandallshecameupwithwas,“Myhandsareshaking.”
Shefelthishandsonthesidesofherface,andshecouldhearherowntremblybreathing.Hismouthcamedownonhers,butinsteadofthehot,arrogantkissesshe’dbecomeaccustomedtosincetheairport,thiswas…different.
Itwasanintimate,sexualkiss,thekindofkissthatwasusuallysharedinadarkenedbedroom,withonebodystretchedoutontopoftheother.Wide-openmouths,slantingfortheperfectconnection,thewarmthofhisbreathonherlips,thefeelofhisfingertipsonherskin.
Histonguetangledwithhersandteased,histeethnippingatherlowerlip,andshefeltherselfrearingup,desperatetomeethimkissforkiss,andtodowhateverittooktokeephimfromeverstopping.
Shereachedoutandgrabbedthelapelsofhissuitjacket,pullingherselfclosertohim,pressingherbodyagainsthis.Hegrunted,andshefelthishandssqueezeherwaist,slidedowntoherass,anditwasherturntoletoutanoisewhenshefelthishardnessgrindagainsther.
“Don’tyoudarestop,”shebreathedintohismouth,andsheletherheadfallbackashislipsmoveddowntoherthroat.
“Ihaveto,Hal,”hepantedintoherneck,suckingherskinashepressedhisbodyintohers.“Beforewemessupeverything.”
“Yeah,”shesaid,agreeingwhilealsomovingherhandssoshecouldfeelhisthickhairbetweenherfingers.“Goodidea.”
“So…arewestopping?”Heliftedhismouth,butshecouldstillfeelhisbreathonherthroatwhenhespoke,andhesoundedlikehe’ddowhatevershesaid.
“Yes,”shesaid,lettinggoofhishairandsayingonanexhale,“Iguessso.”
“ThankGod,”hereplied,hisvoiceasleepydrawl.“BecauseIhavearollonmyplatethatIhaven’tgottentoyet.”
“Therollsaretrash,”shesaid,herhandsstillshakingasshefumbledtogetherselftogetherinthedark.
“Whydoyouhavetoruineverythingforme?”heasked,hisvoiceteasinginthequietdarkness.
Shetouchedherhairandsaid,“Howarewegoingtoexittheclosetwithoutlookinglikeacoupleofhorndogs?”
“That’seasy.Juststepoutwithauthority,likewehadeverylegitimatereasontobeinhere.”
Hallietouchedherlipsandthenrememberedshe’dbeenwearingredlipstick.“Crap,canyouseemyface?”
Jack’sfacemovedcloser.“Alittle…?”
“Imighthavemakeupsmearedallovermyface.Shit.”
“Here.”Beforeshecouldstophim,heraisedhisphoneandtookapicturefrompoint-blankrange,andtheflashwasblindinginthetinycloset.
“Gah,whatareyoudoing?!”
“Tryingtohelp—”
Hedidn’tfinishthesentence,becausehelookedathisphoneandstartedlaughing.Thedisplayilluminatedhisface,andwhenhecouldn’tstoplaughinglongenoughtoexplain,heturneditaroundandshowedher.
Thepictureofherwaspositivelygarish.
Hereyeswerehalf-open,herlipstickwassmudged,hernostrilswereflared,andthephotowassoupclosethatyoucouldn’tseemorethanhereyes,nose,andupperlip.Shelookedliketheghostofadrunkclown.
“I’mnotlaughingatyou—”hetried,butcouldn’tfinish.
“Iknow,”shesaid,lookingatthepictureandlosingit.Shestartedbellylaughingwithhim,andneitheroneofthemcouldstop.Herestedhisforeheadonthedooraboveherwhilehetriedtocalmdown,andshecouldfeeltearsruiningwhatwasleftofhersmokyeyeasshecackled.
Shealmostcouldn’tbreathe.
Everytimeshetriedtostoplaughing,shepictureditagain.
Shescreamedwhenthedoorflewopenbehindthem,droppingthembothoutoftheclosetandontothelobbyfloor.
Ahousekeeperstoodthere,blinkingatthemwithherhandonthedoorknob.
HalliequicklyscrambledoutfromunderJackandintoasittingpositionasthebrightlightsassaultedhereyes.Shelookedathim,lyingonthehotelfloorwithredlipsticksmudgedalloverthebottomofhisfaceandhairstickingupeverywhere.Helookedasshell-shockedasshefelt.
Hesatup,andthenhelookedather.
Thatgrincrawledallthewayuphisfacebeforehethrewhisheadbackandstartedlaughingalloveragain,evenasthehotelemployeestaredblanklyatthem.
Thatwasthemomentsheknew.ChapterTWENTY-ONEJack
“Soit’scigarsandscotchontheeastpatioforthegentsandcosmosonthewestpatiofortheladies.”
JackwatchedHallie’ssisterputthemicrophonebackonthestand,andhethoughtitwasinterestinghowdifferenttheywere.Lillieseemedgreat,butHalliewasjustso…Hal
“Areyoufreakingkiddingme?”
Speakofthedevil.
HeturnedaroundasHallieapproached,lookingputtogetheragain.Nomoreeyemakeupsmears,nomoreredlipstickallover.Hemissedthemess.Heplayedinnocentonherremarkandsaid,“Pardon?”
“Wherearewe—VictorianEngland?Thegentlemenwillretireforscotchandcigarswhiletheladiesresttheirdelicateconstitutions?”Shewatchedastherehearsalguestsstartedheadingfortheirrespectivepatios.“WhatifIwantacigar?”
Helookedatherlips.Couldn’tkeephiseyesoffthem,allofasudden.Heasked,“Whatexactlyisaconstitution?”
Hallieshrugged.“Idon’tknow,butI’mpositivemineisjustasstrongasyours.”
“Youwish.”Hepatteddownapieceofherhairthatwasstickingup.“Doyouevenwantacigar?”
“Notreally,”shesaid,smoothingdownthesamepieceofhairwhilefinallymeetinghiseyes.“ButIdon’twantadamncosmo,either.”
“C’mon,Jack,”Chucksaid,walkingoverandgivingachinnodtowardtheeastexit.“Timeforusgentstogetourstogieson.”
“Iwanttogowithyouguys—”
“Getoverhere,Hal,”Hallie’smotherhalfshoutedfromthewestexit.“Please?”
“Git,”Chucksaid,givingHallieatinypush.“Gobeagoodlittlefemale.”
“Screwyou,”shesaidtoChuck,andthenshepointedatJackandsaid,“Bereadytoholdmyhairtonight,becauseifIhavetodrinkcosmoswithmymotherandtalkaboutwhathappensontheweddingnight,sweartoGodI’mgettinghammered.”
HeandChuckwerestilllaughingwhensheturnedandmarchedaway,andtherewasnothinghecoulddobutwatchhergo.
Whatafuckingforce.
???
“So,canIaskyouaquestionaboutHal?”
Jackslowlyshookhisheadandexhaledapuffofcigarsmoke,watchingitriseinthenightsky.“Ifyoumust,Chuck.”
Chuckclearedhisthroatandsaid,“So,thingsaregoodwithher?”
Jacktiltedhisheadandlookedattheguy.Hereally,reallylikedChuck.Chuckwasnerdyandniceandfunnyashell.Jacksaid,“Yeah.”
“Soyoulikeheralot?”
“Yeah.”Jacklookedattheothersideofthepatio,wherethegroomsmenwereplayingsomestupiddrinkinggame,andsaid,“Ido.”
“Here’sthething.”Chuckfrownedandsaid,“DidshetellyouanythingaboutBen?”
“Who’sBen?”heasked,fullyknowingitwasHallie’sex.
“Who’sBen?”Chuckloweredhiseyebrowsandsaid,“BenMarks,herex…?”
“Oh,thatguy.”Jackraisedthecigartohismouthandlookedoveratthemaninquestion,whowastalkingtoHallie’sdad.Helookedlikethekindofguywhoenjoyedtalkingaboutwhathesmelledinhiswine.“Idon’tknowmuchabouthim.”
“I’llgiveyouthedirt,butyouneverheardthisfromme,okay?”
Jackgaveanod.
“HallieandBendatedforafewyearsandwerelivingtogether.”
Holyshit.“Years?”
Chucknodded.“He’sthiswannabesophisticate,passive-aggressiveassholewhomadeherfeellikeshitaboutherself.ConvincedhertodothingslikeplaytennisandbuyaVolvo.”
“AfuckingVolvo?”
“Yes.Shit.IhatethatguyandalsoVolvos.”Chuckleanedbackinhispatiochairandlookedupatthedarksky.“ItseemedlikehemadeherfeellikeherHallie-nesswasembarrassingorsomething—I’mparaphrasing,bytheway.Thisismyanalysisafterseeingthemtogetherforyears.”
Jackfuckinghatedthatguy.
Didn’treallymindVolvos,though,hethoughtashetookalongdrinkofwhiskey.
“Oneday,outoftheblue,BencamehomeandtoldHalliethathe’dhadanepiphany.Herealizedthathewasinlovewiththeideaofher—whathethoughtshecouldbe—butnotactuallyher.”
Jackloweredhisglass.“Whatthefuckdoesthatevenmean?”
“Thathedidn’tloveher.Thathelovedwhathewantedhertobebutshenever,like,gotthereforhim.”
“Shit.”JackpicturedHalliecryingafterAlexbrokethingsoffandfeltlikeanevenbiggerassholeforcausingthat.Shemightnothavehaddeepromanticfeelingsforhim,butshedidn’tneedanotherguytomakeherfeellikeshewaslessthan.
Becauseshewasfuckingeverything.
“Betweenyouandme,”Chucksaid,leaningalittlecloserandloweringhisvoice,“IdisconnectedBen’scarbatterylikethreetimesafterthat,justtofuckwithhimandmakehimlateforwork.”
“Thatisawesomelypsychotic,”Jacksaidwithalaugh,puffingonhiscigarandlookingattheassholeHallieusedtolove.“IthinkIreallylikeyou,Chuck.”
“Youknowthatfuckerhadnoideawhatwaswrongwhenitwouldn’teventurnover,”Chucksaid,chuckling.
TheconversationsoonturnedtoVolvos.Chuckwasclearlyacarguy—andaVolvohater—andsawsomethinginJackthatmadehimthinktheywereofalikemind.Jackjustlistened,enjoyingthecigarandtryingtoimaginenotfindingHallietobeenough.Hecouldn’t.
“Hey,jackasses.”Shecameoutofnowhereinthedarkness,justwalkingacrossthegrass,andJackfounditalittlehardtobreathe.Halliewasstillwearingthewhitedress,buthercurlshadcomeundone,leavingherhairalittlewildandwavy,andshewasnolongerwearinganyjewelry.Hersmilewasbigandhereyesweretwinklingandherhighheelsweredanglingfromherfingers.
“I’mtelling,youscandalouspieceofshit,”Chuckteased.
“Shhhh,”shesaid,glancingtowardtherestofthegroomsmen,whohadnowswitchedtoplayingcards.“Iranallthewayaroundthebuildingandhadtoclimbthatfence.”
Jackwaslookingatthefenceshe’dpointedtowhenshesnatchedthecigarfrombetweenhisfingersandsatdownonthegroundbetweenhisandChuck’schairs.Shelookedupathim,herheadleaningbackinawaythatexposedtheentiretyofhergracefulthroat,andshesaid,“Youdon’tmind,doyou?”
Hewatchedhertakeapuffandthoughtitwason-brandforHalthatshelookedcompletelynaturalsmokingacigar.
“Youknow,you’regoingtoruinthebackofyourdress,sittingonthecementlikethat,”Jacksaid.
“Ialreadygotchocolateallovertheruffle—see?”Shemovedtheruffle,whichappearedtobeaffixedinplacewithsilverducttape,andhesawthatitsundersidewassplatteredwithabig,brownstain.
“Pleaseexplaintheducttape.”
“Thebartenderhelpedme.Bartendersalwayshaveahandytoolkit,”shesaid.
“Andthechocolate?”
“IhadDoorDashbringmeaFrappuccinoandthenIdroppeditonthepatio.”
Chucksnorted.“You’vebeenfuckingbusysincewesawyouanhourago.”
“Yeah,Ihave,”shesaid.“Also,JamietoldmethatifIevermadeittotheotherside,Iwassupposedtotellyouthatherphoneisdead,shefakedsick,andnowshe’supintheroom.”
“Sweet.”Chuckstoodand,withoutanotherword,justleft.
“Listen,Jack,”Halliesaid,lookingathiscollarinsteadofhisface.Sheseemedcasual,butsomethingweirdwasgoingonwithher.“Mymotherisgoingtobelookingformeverysoon,andI’mnotgoingback—theycan’tmakeme.IthinkI’mgoingtojustcallitanightandgouptotheroom.”
“Hal.”
“Yeah?”
“Lookatme.”
Hergreeneyeslookedbrightasshelookedathimandsaid,“What?”
“Arewecool?Youokayafterthewhole…closetthing?”Henoticedthegoosebumpsonherarmsandinstinctivelybegantakingoffhisjacket.
Sherolledhereyesandgavehimagrinashedrapeditoverhershoulders.Shestoodandpulledittighteragainsther,lookingeventinierassheburrowedintothejacket.“I’mfine,andthankyouforthejacket,youchivalrousdelight.”
Hesetdownhisglassandstood.“Let’sgo.”
Hereyebrowsdippeddown.“Youdon’thavetoleavethepartyjustbecauseIam.”
Heshrugged,wantingnothingmorethantobealonewithherintheironly-one-bedroom,evenifsexwasoffthetable.“Iwantto.”
Thankfully,noonenoticedastheyleftthepatioandwentbackintothehotel.HewantedHalliealltohimself.ChapterTWENTY-TWOHallie
Hallierambledaboutthepatiopartyastheywalkedtotheroom,herheartpoundinginherchestasshethoughtthroughherplan.Shewasscaredtosayanythingforfearofmessinguptheirfriendship,butshewasequallyscaredoflettingtheperfectweekendendwithouteverdaringtomakesomethinghappen.
Withoutpossiblytakingastepforward.
“Andtheyactuallytookthemicrophoneawayfromyou?”Jacklaughedastheysteppedintotheelevator.“Whatabunchofbuzzkills.”
“Okay,well,Iwasactuallybeingreallyobnoxious.”
“You?Impossible.”
Shelovedthewayhiseyesgotcrinklyaroundtheedgeswhenhewasteasingher.Shehitthebuttonfortheirfloorandsaid,“Idiscoveredthatfalsettomadethemicsqueal,soImight’veselectedaBeeGeessongandhitithard.”
Herolledhiseyesandsaid,“Whywouldtheyeverletyousingkaraoke?”
“Whywouldn’tthey?Ihavethevoiceofanangel.”
Theygotoffontheirfloorandwalkeddownthehallway.Halliekepttryingtogetherselftojustsayit,tocalmlytellhimhowshefeltandwhatshewanted,butshecouldn’tbringherselftoutterthewords.
Theywerestuckinherthroat,sosherambledincessantlyaboutnothing.
Jackopenedthedoorandtheywentintotheroom,andasHallielookedatthatoneverybigbed,thewordswouldn’tcomeout.
Sayit,Hal.
Sayit,youpussy.
Sayyyyy.Itttttt.
Shespunaroundandlookedupathishandsomeface.“Um,Jack?”
Hestartedlooseninghistie,andshefeltlight-headed.“Yeah?”
“Ithink,um,well,Iwasthinking.That.”
Heraisedoneeyebrow.“That…?”
“Thatsincewe’rebothstayinginthisroom,uh,together,maybeweshould,um.Maybeweshould…”
Hewhippedoffthetieanddroppeditbyhissuitcase,hisgazeintense.“Shouldwhat?”
Sheswallowed.“Weshould,um,taketurnsusingthebathroom.”
Hiseyesnarrowedasheunbuttonedhistopbutton.“Asopposedto…usingitatthesametime…?”
“No.”Sherolledhereyes.“Ijusthavetowashmyface.CanIhavethebathroomfirst?”sheasked.
Hegaveheraweirdlook.“Ofcourse.”
“Awesome.”Halliewentovertohersuitcaseandpulledoutthesuper-safe,not-sexypajamasshe’ddecidedtobringonthetrip:heroversized,knee-lengthflannelnightshirtandapairoftall,fuzzysocks.Shewalkedpasthimandwentintothebathroom,anditwasn’tuntilthedoorwasclosedandlockedthatshesilent-screamedandwantedtosmackherselfintheface.
We’readults,Jack,andwe’veslepttogetherbefore.Sincewedon’thaveemotionalbaggage,whynotsleeptogetheragain?Weobviouslyhavesexualchemistry,soIsaywedowhateverfeelsrightthisweekendandthenleaveitallinVail.Aslongaswedon’tfeelanythingotherthansexualattraction,itwon’tbeaproblem,right?
Shefeltahellofalotmorethanthat,butnowaywasshegoingtoputitoutthere.No,herplanwastothroweverysinglethingintothefakerelationshipthisweekend,andmaybebythetimetheyreturnedhome,theywouldsharetheirmutualfeelingsforeachother.
Crazierthingshadhappened,right?
Butshehadtosayitcasuallyenoughsohewouldn’tgetfreakedagain.Obviouslyhewasworriedshe’dgetemotionallyattached—hencetheclosetconversation—sosheneededhimtobelievethatshewouldn’t.
Shetookoffthewhitedressandchangedinto—ugh—theworld’sleastsexypajamas.Shefluffedupherhair,putonvanillalotion,spritzedherbellybuttonwithChanelNo.5,andpulledonhertalltubesocks.
Wow,notevenaninchofexposedskin.
Whenshecameoutofthebathroom,shewassurprisedtoseeJackstandingoutonthebalcony,inthedark.Thelightsfromtheirroomilluminatedhistallform,andshecouldseehe’dstrippeddowntohiswhiteundershirt,dresspants,andbarefeet.“Whichsideofthebeddoyouwant?”sheasked.
Heturnedaround,lookedather,andscowled.“Thatiswhatyou’resleepingin?”Hesteppedbackinside,slidingthedoorclosed.
“Shutup,”shesaid,rollinghereyes.“Iknowit’s—”
“Youdon’thaveanypantsyoucanwear?”
Shepaused.“What?”
“Pants.”Hepointedtoherlegs,hiseyebrowsallbunchedtogether,andrepeated,“Pants.Youdon’thaveanyyoucansleepin?”
Shenarrowedhereyes.“No…?”
Hesighed.“Wecan’tsleepinthesamebedifyou’renotwearingpants.Comeon,Hal.”
“Areyoukiddingmerightnow?”Sheheardhervoicerisetoanirritatingpitch.“Youthinkmypajamasare,what—inappropriate?”
Hesaid,“They’renotinappropriateunlesswe’resharingabed.”
“Thenthey’reinappropriate?”sheasked,wonderingifhewaslosingit.
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes.”
Sheputherhandsonherhips.“Whatiswrongwithyou?”
“Hal,Ididn’tbringanypajamapants,”hesaid,asifthattotallyexplainedhisreactiontoherpajamas.“Isleepinmyboxers.”
“So?”
“So…?”Hegesturedwildlywithhisrightarm,likeapointhadjustbeenmade.
“So,I’veseenboxersbefore,Jack.”
Hemadeanoisethatwasacrossbetweenagroanandagrowl.“You’rebeingobtuseonpurpose.”
“I’mnot.”Somuchforgatheringthecouragetobeghimtosleepwithher.Shesighedandsaid,“I’mgoingtogetinbedwhileyougowashup.Iwillbeburiedundercoverswhenyoucomeout,myinappropriateflannelshiddenfromtheworld,andyoucanjustsqueezeyoureyesshutandduckunderthecoversonyourside.Wewillbefine.”
Hedraggedahandthroughhishairandsaid,“Ijustthinkweneedtoproceedwithcaution.”
“Gochange.”Halliewalkedawayfromhim,goingtohersuitcasetofindthebookshe’dbroughtforthetrip.Hedidn’tsayanythingashebrushedpastherandwentintothebathroom,andafterthedoorclosed,sherolledhereyesathimsohardtheyprobablywouldgetstuck,justlikehermotherhadalwayswarned.
ShewaslyingonhersidereadingwhenthemattressdippedandJackgotunderthecovers.HesmelledlikeIrishSpringsoap,andherentirebodytingledathiscloseness.Shethoughthewasgoingtojustsleep,buthequietlysaid,“Hal?”
“Yeah?”Hervoicewasalmostawhisper,stuckinsideofhertightthroat.
“Ididn’tmeantooverreact.”Hisvoicewaslowandgravelly,anditdidthingstoherwhenhesaid,“I’msorry.”
Sheturnedover,andjustlikethat,hisgazewasfocusedonherastheylaysidebyside,face-to-faceinbed.Asifthatweren’tenoughtomakeherspontaneouslycombust,hisnakedchestwasjustrightthere.Shesaid,“You’relookingoutforus—Igetit.We’recool.”
Onesideofhismouthkickedupalittle.“Oh,well,thankGodwe’recool.”
Theysharedasmile,moreintimatethananythey’deversharedastheirheadsrestedonmatchingpillows,andshereachedoutherindexfingerandtracedthecenterlineofhisstrongnose.“IfIsaysomething,doyoupromisetoforgetitifyoudisagree?”
Acrinkleappearedbetweenhiseyebrows.“Okay…?”
“Okay.”Hallieliftedherheadandmovedherpillowclosertohissotheirpillowsweretouching,andshelaidherheadbackdown.Shelookeddownathischest,becauseshecouldn’tdarelookathisface.“Iknowwhatwesaidinthecloset,butIthinkwecanhavesexanditwilltotallybefine.”ChapterTWENTY-THREEJack
Hefeltlikehe’djustbeenjoltedwithacattleprod.“What?”
Whatintheactualfuck?
Thesmellofherswirledaroundhisheadassheleanedonherelbowandsaid,“Hearmeout.Ithinkwecanabsolutelyhaveaweekendfullofamazingsex,andnothinghastochange.”
Helaythere,frozeninplace,asshestartedrambling.
“We’readults,Jack,andwe’veslepttogetherbefore.Sincewedon’thaveemotionalbaggage,whynotsleeptogether?Weobviouslyhavesexualchemistry,soIsaywedowhateverfeelsrightthisweekendandthenleaveitallinVail.Aslongaswedon’tfeelanythingotherthansexualattraction,itwon’tbeaproblem,right?”
Hewaspissedandturnedonanddisappointed,allatthesametime.BecauseeverymoleculeofhisbeingwantedHalliePiper.Shewasallheeverthoughtaboutanymore.Andwhenhe’dturnedaroundandsawherinthatstupidflannelnightgownandhot-as-hellknee-highsocks,he’dwantedtodroptohiskneesandbeghertolovehimforever.
Soyeah…itwasasweepingunderstatementtosayhewantedtohaveaweekendfullofsexwithher.Especiallynowthatshewaslyinginchesawayfromhimunderthesameheavyblanket.Hewantedtogetridofthatnightgown,leavethesocks,andexploreeveryinchofhistinybartender.
Buthecouldn’tenjoythethought,becauseshekeptsayingshitlikewehavenoemotionalattachmentandit’spurelyphysical.Shesmiledthatfunnygrin—hisfavoriteone—andsaid,“Sowhynotspendtherestoftheweekenddoingeverythingacoupledoes,Jack?Wecanpromisetotelleachotherifwestarttofeelsomething.Then,ifthathappens,we’llstopandgobacktohowitwasbefore.”
Hesighed.
“Thinkaboutit.Ifyoustartwonderingifyouhavefeelingsforme,youcanjustsay‘Imightfeelsomething’andwe’llflipitrightbackbeforeitbecomesathing.It’llbeliketappingout.”
Toolatetofuckingtapout,hethought,sohesaid,“It’saterribleidea,Hal.”
Aflickerofsomethingcrossedoverherface—hurt?—butjustlikethat,hersmilewasbackinplace.“CanIaskyouaseriousquestion,then?”
God,hewantedtokisshersobadly.Helookedathermouthandsaid,“Sure.”
“Areyouworriedaboutme,oryou?BecauseIamabsolutelypositiveIwillnotcatchfeelingsforyou.Athousandpercent.So…areyouafraidoffallingforme?”
Hegroundhisteethtogethersohardthathisjawfeltlikeitmightbreak,buthemanagedtogiveherasmile.“Fuck,no.”
Herchinraised.“Sowhynot,then?”
Jack’schestburnedashelookedatherfierce,orneryfaceasshepromisedtoneverfallinlovewithhim.Heshruggedandsaidthetruth.
“Becauseit’stoogoodwithusforitnottobecomeahabit.”
Shewrinkledherforehead.“Idon’t—”
“Howmuchdoyourememberaboutthatnight,Hal?Forreal.”
Hallie
Shit.
She’dbeencasualaboutthehotelnightsinceit’dhappenedbecauseshe’dbeenmortifiedbyherpoordecisions.She’dteasinglyactedlikesheonlyhadfleetingmemoriesbecauseitwaseasiertoblowthewholethingoff,butthetruthwasthatsherememberedallofit.
Every.Single.Hot.Minute.
Sheclearedherthroatandsaid,“Um…allofit?”
“Wait.”Hiseyebrowswentstraightup.“What?”
Shebitdownonherlipandnodded.
“Youlyinglittleshit,”hesaid,laughing,tuggingonastrandofherhair.“Well,thenyouhavetoknowwhatImean.”
Shedid.Sheknewexactlywhathemeant.Butshewantedhimsobadlythatshesaid,“Idon’t,actually.”
Hiseyesnarrowed,callingherbluffwithoutsayingaword.
“What?”shesaid.
“Okay.Y’knowwhatwe’regoingtodoinsteadofhavingsextonight?”
Sherolledhereyes.“Sleep,likesex-hatinglosers?”
Hemovedhisfacealittlecloserandnippedatherchin,thenpulledback.“We’regoingtotalkaboutthatnight.Ingreatdetail.”
“Whywouldwedothat?”Shewatchedherhandasitreachedout,seeminglyofitsownaccord,andwoveitswayintohishair.
“Becausewhenwe’redone,you’llconcedemypointthatifwesleeptogetheragain,we’llstartsleepingtogetherallthetimeuntilwedie.”
“Cockymuch?”
Heputafingeroverherlipsandsaid,“Itallstartedinthekitchen.Youremember?Youweresittingonthecounterandyousaid‘MylipsarecoldfromtheRumpleMinze,’andIsaid—”
“?‘Letmewarmthemup.’?”Sherememberedhischarminggrin.“Andthenyousaid,‘God,please.’?”
Hislipsslidintoaflirtyhalfsmile.“Insteadofanswering,youclimbedontomylap.”
Hallie’scheekswarmedasshethoughtaboutthatmoment,abouthowcharmedshe’dbeenbyJack.“Idid.”
“SweartoGod,Inearlylostitrightthere,”hesaid,lookingsexyandsweetallatthesametimewithhisheadonthefluffypillow.“Youweresofuckinghilarious,butthenyoupulledsomewizardshitandturnedintoadamnedseductress.”
“Shutup,”shesaid,rollinghereyes.
“Seriously.”Helookedupattheceiling,likethescenewasbeingreplayedforhim.“Justlikethatyouwereonmylap,inmyhands,andmytonguewasonyourmintylips.”
Shefeltlikeclosinghereyesandjustlisteningtothesexybedtimestory,butinsteadsheadded,“Whichwasgreatuntilyoutrippedovertheboxofbananas.”
They’dstartedkissingandhestood,holdingherwhileshewrappedherlegsaroundhiswaist.He’dstartedwalking,intendingontakingthemsomewhere,butthenhetripped.
“Icould’vecrushedyou,”hesaidaroundaquietlaugh.
“Butinsteadyourecoveredandstumbledyourwaytotheserviceelevator.”Hallieclosedhermouth,positiveshecouldn’ttalkabouttheelevatorwithoutspontaneouslycombusting.
“Finally.Theserviceelevator.”Jackgaveherawolfishgrinbeforescoochingjustalittleclosertoheronthebed.“Iwouldreallyliketohearitfromyourpointofview,TinyBartender.Tellmeabouttheelevator.”
Jack
Jackwouldneverforgetwhat’dhappened.
Betweenkisses,they’djokedthattheyshouldjuststoptheelevatorandgoatit.He’dhadherpinnedagainstthewall,kissingthehelloutofher,andthenshe’ddoneit.
She’dhitthebuttonandstoppedtheelevator.
“Weweregrindingliketeenagers,”Halliesaid,grinning,bringinghimoutofhisflashback.“AndIstoppedtheelevator.That’sit.Wekissedinthatelevatorforaverylongtime.”
“Really.”
“Yes,”shesaid,nodding.
“That’syourrecollection,”hesaid.
“Yes,”shesaid,laughing.
“Ithinkit’smoreofamatterofwhatwekissed,don’tyou?”
“Oh,myGod,Jack!”
“That’swhatyousaidintheelevator,”hesaid,laughing,“whenIwaskissingyour—”
“No.”Sheputherhandoverhismouth,hercheeksredashereyesdanced.“That’senough.”
Hemovedhisfacefrombehindherhand.“Areyoureadytoadmitthatwewouldbecomefriends-with-benefitsaddictsifweslepttogether?”
Sherubbedherlipstogether.“Iwillconcedethatyoumighthaveatinypoint.”
God,whywashesuddenlyobsessedwithhermouth?Allofasudden,hewaslikeapredatorandherlipswerehisprey.
Heprompted,“And…?”
“Andfine.Nosex.”
“Areyousure?”
“AmIsure?”Shelookedathimlikehewascrazy.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“Ijustmeanifyouwanttodiscussthisfurther,I’dbemorethanhappytotalkaboutsexagainsthotelroomwalls,andsexonhotelroomdesks—which,ifIrecall,wasyourabsolutefavorite—”
“Whycan’tyoushutup?”Halliemoaned,shovingherhandsoverhismouth.“Isaidyouwereright,sostoptalking!”
Hetickledunderherarmtogethertoletgo,andthenherolledontopofher.Instantmistake.He’ddoneittoremindherhewasthewinner,tolordhisvictoryoverherandpinherdown,butthefeelofherbodyunderneathhiswastoomuch.
Sheblinkedupathim,lookinglikeshefeltexactlywhathewasfeeling,andwhispered,“Itwasreally,reallygood,wasn’tit,Jack?”
Helookeddownatherface,herfunny,stubborn,beautifulface,andhecouldn’tfindhisvoice.
Sohejustnodded.ChapterTWENTY-FOURHallie
Hallieleanedoverthebedandwhispered,“Jack.”
Heopenedhissleepyblueeyes,andshewantedtorubherhandoverthemorningscruffonhisjaw.Theblankethadriddendowntohiswaist,andshewashavingtroublefocusingwithhishalf-nakedtorsolaidoutbeforeher.
“Quitdrippingonme,”hesaid,rubbinghiseyesandsittingup.
“Sorry.”Shemovedherhead,butthatjustdrippedmorewateronhim.“Justgotoutoftheshower.”
“Didyou?Icouldn’ttell.”
“Areyoualwaysgrumpyinthemorning?”Shesatdownontheedgeofthebedandthoughthelookedlikeanadorablelittlebratashewaswakingup.“Thisisfascinating.”
“I’monlygrumpywhenIfindmyselfinareal-lifeonly-one-bedtrope.”
Shelaughedatthat.“Don’tblameme.Ifwe’drailedlastnight,youprobablywould’vesleptlikeababy.”
“Idon’tthink‘railed’istheproperderivativeofgettingrailed,”hegrowled,andshethoughtitwasfunnyhowmuchdeeperhisvoicewasinthemorning.
“Ifyou’drailedme—isthatbetter?Ifwe’drailedthehelloutofeachother?”Shesnortedatthatandsaid,“Ooh,that’sagoodone.”
“Whyareyousoperkythismorning?”
“Well,”Halliesaid,andpaused.Shewasridiculouslypeppybecauseshe’dhadablastspendingthenightwithJack.Hadtheysharedanightofpassion?Nope,notevenclose,really.Butsleepinginthesamebedashim,hearingthesnufflysleepingnoiseshemade,wakinguptohisarmrestingoverherinhissleep—she’dlovedeverybitofit.“Therearedonutsinthelobby.”
Heshotheralook.“Thiselfinmoodisdonut-inspired?”
“Absolutely.”Lies.Shewasalsoinagoodmoodbecauseshe’ddecidedthatsinceJackwastheAntiSex,shewasgoingtoplaytheone-upgamebig-timefortheentireday.Afterall,itwasthelastdayofthetrip.Theyweregoinghometomorrow.Shestoodandsaid,“That’swhyIwokeyouup.Wantmetosnagoneforyou?”
“No,thanks.”Hepushedbackthecoversandgotoutofbed,andHallie’seyeswentstraighttohiscalves.Okay,notstraighttothem.Theymayhavemadeapitstopathisboxerbriefs,butasshewatchedhislegsflexwitheverystephetooktowardhissuitcase,shedecidedshewasgratefulhelikedrunning.“Idon’tusuallyeatuntilaftermyrun.”
Hallietiltedherhead.“Areyousureyoushouldberunningaroundthemountainsbyyourselfthisearlyinthemorning?”
Heunzippedhisbag.“Whywouldthatbeanissue?”
“Bears.Idon’twantyoutogetyourfaceeatenoff.”
“Awww.Sosweet.”Hereachedforapairofbasketballshorts.“I’llbefine,Hal.”
“I’mgoingfordonuts,then.”
“Enjoy.”Helookedatherthen,likehewasfinallyawakeenoughtoseeher,andwhenhegaveheraslowsmile,shefeltitinherfingertips.
Thatwasreallythelasttimetheyweretogetherthatday.WhileJackwasrunning,Halliewassummonedtohermother’sroomtohelptieribbonsontinybottlesofbubbles.Aftershefinished,shewasinformedsheonlyhadanhourbeforeshehadtoheadtothesalonwiththerestofthebridesmaids.
Whenshegottoherhotelroom,Jackwasn’tthere.
Shetexted:Whereareyou?Pleasetellmeabeardidn’teatyou.
Jack:You’dmissme,wouldn’tyou?
Hallie:IwasreallylookingforwardtoembarrassingyouwithmyoffensivePDAtoday.
Jack:IranintoChuck,whowantedmetogowithhimtogetediblessincethey’relegalhere.
Hallie:Thatremindsme,IneedtotextRuthieandcheckonTig.
Jack:Doyouwantanyedibles?
Hallie:Baby,I’mashitshowonmyown.Idon’tneedhelp.
Jack:Baby?
Hallie:Weird,sorry,thatcameoutnaturallyandI’mnotbeingsarcastic.
Jack:DoesthatmeanIcanuseapetnameforyou?
Hallie:Likewhat?
Jack:Umm…sunshine?
Hallie:No
Jack:Punkin?
Hallie:That’soffensivetoredheads.
Jack:Myapologies.Um…howaboutShortcakes?
Hallie:That’ssoFonzie.
Hallie:OKAY.ThereasonIwastextingwastoletyouknowthatI’mheadingtothesalon,andthenwe’regettingournailsdoneandhavingaspecialbridalpartyluncheon.
Jack:Whenwillyoubeback,PuddingPop?
Hallie:Probablywon’tbe,NumbNuts.Areyouokaymeetingmeatthewedding?
Jack:Ofcourse.
Halliethrewherselfintobridalpartymania,optingtobetheexcitedlyenthusiasticsisterasopposedtothecynicaldickshe’dbeenabouttheweddingthusfar.Shegothernailsdone,gotablowout,andpretendedachickensaladwasthemostdeliciousmealshe’deverhad.
Atlunch,hermotherwavedherovertowhereshewasanimatedlychattingwithtwoofHallie’saunts.
“Hey,”shesaid,feelingalittlenervousasthetriosmiledatherinaweirdway.
“Almahasaquestionaboutyourboyfriend,”hermothersaid,gesturingtowardHallie’stinyauntwithflame-redhair.
Uh-oh.Halliegaveapolitesmileandsaid,“Yes?”
“DidhereallydesigntheLarssonCenterinZurich?”
“What?”Shelookedatherseniorauntandhadnoideawhatthewomanwastalkingabout.“Zurich,asinSwitzerland?”
“Well,ofcourse,Hal,”Hallie’smothersaid,lookingirritated.“WhatotherZurichisthere?”
“Well,I’msurethere’sprobablyaZurich,Indiana,orZurich,SouthDakota,somewhere,”shesaid,tryingtofigureoutwherethisJackinformationwascomingfrom.
“UncleBobwastalkingtoJackabouthisjob,andafterhesaidheworksforSullivanDesign,well,yourunclegoogledhim.”
“Hegoogleseveryone,”Hallie’smomsaid,andhertwoauntsnoddedinagreement.
“Hereallydoes.”
“It’saproblem.”
Halliesaid,“Okay…so…?”
“Accordingtothewebsite,he’sdesignedparksandurbanareasallovertheworld.Wewantedtoaskyou,though,becauseyourmomthoughthewasalandscaper.”
Halliestoodthere,stupefied,asshemulleditover.She’dassumedhedidlandscapingwhenshesawhewasalandscapearchitect,butwasthatnotaccurate?Hediddressnicelyandputinalotofhours,andhehadsaidhehadatonoffrequentflyermilesbecauseofbusinesstravel.
Sheliedandpretendedtoknowwhattheyweretalkingabout,butasshewalkedawayfromthem,shegoogledhimaswell.Andholyshit,hewasaseniorassociatewhohadindeeddesignedurbanareasallovertheworld.
Hehadamaster’sdegreeinlandscapearchitecture,forGod’ssake.
Whatintheactual?
Shedidn’thavetimetogiveitmorethought,though,astheweddingdaystartedcrankinguptofullthrottle.Halliedideverythinghersisteraskedofher,andbythetimeshezippedherselfintohercrimson-redbridesmaiddressinthehugewhitepreptentonthemountaintop,shewasreadyforadrink.
Justbeforetheweddingplannerlinedeveryoneup,HalliehuggedLillie,andforthefirsttimesincetheengagement,shefeltnothingbuthappinessforhersister.
Bencaughthereyerightafterthehugandgaveherafatherlyaww-that’s-so-sweetsmile,andsheaccidentallyflippedhimoff.
Oldhabitsandallthat.
ShegotinlinebesideChuckandactuallyfeltalittlenervousasthemusicstarted.Herdetail-orientedsisterhadselectedoneofthoseamazingEdSheeransongsthathasthepowertomakeanyonecry,butshewasn’tlameenoughtojustplayitonaBluetoothspeaker—oh,no.Shehadastringquartetplayingthemusicalongwiththerecording,soitgenuinelysoundedlikeol’Eddiewashidinginthebushessomewhere,crooninghislittleEnglishheadoff.
Astheysteppedoutofthetenttomaketheirwaydowntheaisle,Hallie’sbreathcaughtinherthroatasshelinkedarmswithChuck.Theairsmelledlikeautumnleaves,andthewhiteflowerpetalpathstretchedoutinfrontofthem,leadingtoanarchthatwassetinthemiddleofastunningcopseofaspentrees.Totheirleftwasaclear,flowingcreek,andtotheirright,beyondtherowsofwhitechairsandguests,wasatallmountain,toweringoverthemwithitsstretchingpines.
Itwasbreathtaking.
“Damn,”Chuckmuttered.
“Damn,indeed,”Halliesaid,giggling,butthenhergigglesdiedwhenhereyeslandedonJack’sface.
Jack
Thequartetstartedplayingandhestood,alongwiththeotherguests,turningtoseethebridalparty’sprocession.Hewasimpatient,though;hehadn’tseenHalallday,andhewantedtogettheceremonyoverwithsohecouldspendmoretimewithheratthereception.
Hewasdistractedbyhisthoughtsofherashisgazeturnedtothecreek,memoriesofthenightbeforeplayingbackinhismind,whenhefeltherpresence.
Thestringswereclimbingtohigherpitches,andthesingerwascrooningabouttellingsomeonehelovedthem.
AndjustasJackfeltthewordsinthemiddleofhischest,thereshewas.
Halliewaswalkingdowntheaisle,dressedinredandcarryingabouquetofwhiteroses,andshewassmilingathim.Athim.
Shit.
Hefeltlikehecouldn’tbreatheashelookedather,whichwasn’tthatdifferentfromhowhe’dfeltthenightbeforeasthey’dsharedabed.Asthey’dgraduallymovedclosertoeachotheroverthecourseofthenight,underthewarmthoftheheavydowncomforter.
Whenhe’dwokenupatthreea.m.andherbacksidehadbeensnuggledagainsthim,herbreathingsoftandsweet,hehadn’tmoved.Hewasprettysurehisjob,asthemaninanonly-one-bedtrope,wastosuffer.
Well,sufferhehad.
He’dlaintherelikeachump,wideawakeforwhatfeltlikehours.Theweirdestpartwasthatherbody’sclosenesshadtormentedhimlessthantheoverallclosenessofher,thefeelingofHalliesleepingbesidehim.Eventuallyhe’djustthrownhisarmoverherandheldherthere,likeitwasnormalforthemtobesharingabed.
Which,coincidentally,waswhenhe’dfinallyfallenbacktosleep.
“They’resobeautiful,”Jamiesaid,cryingbesidehimasshesmiledatChuck.Somethingaboutthewaythosetwooddballslovedeachothermadehimfeel…fuck,somethinghedidn’tlike.Patheticallyenvious.
BecauseasgreatasitwastoplaythegameofpretendwithHallie,kissingherandholdingherhandlikeshewashis,hecouldn’tforgetherwords,wordsshe’dsaidwithtotalcertainty.
IamabsolutelypositiveIwillnevercatchfeelsforyou.
Theceremonywassweetandmadehimalittlesofterthanweddingsusuallydid,ifhewasbeinghonest.Halliegotthehiccupsduringhersister’svows,andbetweenhertinysqueaks,herwhisperedsorries,andtheresultantlaughterfrombothHalandtheweddingguests,hewasprettysureeveryoneinattendancefellforherjustashardashehad.ChapterTWENTY-FIVEHallie
“Mymindisblown,”Chucksaid,tossingbackoneoftheshotsHalliehadpouredforthetwoofthemandsetonthetableinfrontofthem.“Youguysareincrediblyconvincing.”
Hallietookhershot,feelingthewhiskeyburndownherthroat.“It’seasy,becausewe’rebestfriendsandwehavesexualchemistry.”
“So.Um.”Chuckgrabbedhiswaterbottleandtookalongdrinkbeforewipinghismouthandsaying,“Tellmeagain—whyaren’tyoureallydatingifyouhavechemistryandyou’rebestfriends…?”
Hallietiltedherhead.“Itsoundssimple,doesn’tit?”
“Incredibly.”Chucklookedtowardthedoorofthemultipurposechanging/gatheringroom,throughwhichmostofthebridalpartyhadjustexited.Pictureswereover,andtheywerereadytoparty.
“It’scomplicated.Jackthinkswehavetoomuchchemistryandwewon’tstopbonkingifwestartbeingfriendswithbenefits.”Hallieslidherfeetbackintotheredpumpsandpulledhercompactoutofherbag.“Hethinksthatwewouldhavesexuntilweweredeadandruinourfriendship.I,ontheotherhand,thinkhe’soneofthoseguyswhoneedstobeinarelationship,soIdon’twanttobehislow-hangingfruit,thepersonhegetsintoarelationshipwithbecauseit’seasyandwehadagoodbonk.”
“He’snotyourdoucheyex.”Chuckleanedoverandcheckedhishairinthecompactshewaslookinginto.“AndIfeellikeheactuallydoeslikeyou.”
Sheopenedherlipstickandraisedittohermouth.“Ithinkwebothlikeeachother,butnotenoughorintherightwaytoriskthefriendship.”
“Listentomerightnow.”Chuckstoodasshefinishedapplyingherlipstick.“Riskthefuckingfriendship.”
Shestoodaswellandshowedhimherteeth.“Lipstick-free?”
“You’regood,”hesaid,thenbaredhisteeth,towhichsheresponded,“Youare,too.”
“Seriously,though,ifyoutwoareperfectforeachother,fuckeverythingelse.”
Halliepickedupherbagandsaidthewordsthathurthersoul.“Ican’tbearthethoughtoflosinghim,though,Chuck.Ican’t.”
ThebreakupwithBenhadbeenawful.Outofnowhere.She’dassumedtheywereclosetogettingengaged,andshe’dbeenabsolutelyinlovewithhim,andthenhe’dtoldherthathedidn’tloveherandshewasn’tenough.
She’dbeendevastatedanddestroyed,butshefeltlikelosingJackasafriendwouldbeathousandtimesworse.
“Hal.”Chuckgrabbedherbagfromherfingersandtuckeditunderhisarm;heknewshehatedclutches,whichwaswhatmadehimanabove-and-beyondfriend.“Youwon’tlosehim.Youwon’t.Anddon’tyouthinkthepossibilitiesofloveareworththerisk?”
“Shit.Yes.”Shetookadeepbreathandnodded.“IneedanothershotifI’mgoingtomakehimfallinlovewithmetonight.Caretojoinme?”
“I’dbedelighted.”
???
Becauseofbridalpartyobligations,ittookforeverbeforeHalliewasfinallyabletomeetupwithJack.Afterthepictures,sheandChuckhadtositattheheadtablewhileeveryonemadetoasts,andthenshehadtosittherewhileeveryoneelsegottheirfoodfirst.
ThankGodforphones.
Jack:Youlookbored.
Hallie:That’sbecauseIambored.
Jack:Wannaplayagame?
Hallie:AbsolutelyIdo.
Sheglancedinthedirectionofhistable,butitwashardtoseehimbecausepeopleweremillingabouttheballroom.
Jack:Let’scallityell,beat,orkill.
Hallie:wtfyouanimal.
Jack:Chooseonepersonheretopubliclyyellat,onewhoseassyou’dliketokick,andoneyou’dliketomurder.
Hallie:Wow.
Jack:I’llstart.IwouldliketopubliclyyellatyourcousinEmily,whoisseatedbesidemeandwillnotstoptellingmeaboutherfoodallergies.
ThatmadeHalliegrin;Emilywasalot.Shetexted:Igetthat.Sowhatabouttheass-kicking?
Jack:That’seasy.Iwouldliketokickyournewbrother-in-law’sass,becausehisfraternityfriendsareabunchofblowhardswho’vewastedfartoomuchofourtimewiththeirstupidtoasts.Heshouldhavebetterfriends.
Hallie:Ibackyouonthis.MayIassist?
Jack:Ofcourse.Chooseyourweapon.
Hallie:Cakeknife.
Jack:Excellentchoice.
Hallie:Andnow,forthemurder…
Jack:Thisobviouslyhasnothingtodowithyou,butIwouldreallylovetowringtheneckofBenMarks.
HallielookedupfromherphoneandcranedhernecktofindJack.Shecouldn’t,butshewasalittletakenabackthatheevenknewBen’slastname.
Hallie:Itwasthescarf,wasn’tit?
Jack:Certainlydidn’thelp.ButeverytimeIlookathim,Iwanttohurthimformakingyoufeellikeyouweren’tenough.
Halliewasn’tlaughinganymore.Shetexted:DidItellyouthat?
Jack:Chuckdid,buthewasdrunkanditwasaslip.Pleasedon’tgetmadathim.Buthere’sthething,Hal.It’sfineifitwasn’tmeanttobeforyouandBen,butyouhavetoknowthatyouaremorethanenough.You’reperfect,andifhewastoofuckingstupidtoseethat,it’sonhim.
Halliecouldnolongerreadthetextinfrontofherastearsblurredhereyes.Sheblinkedfasttoclearhervisionbeforetexting:You’renotallowedtobethisnice.You’rescrewingupmymakeup.
Jack:Sohowshouldwekillhim?
Hallieshookherhead,andatthatmomentthecrowdsclearedjustenoughforhertoseeJack’sfaceashesmiledather.Shetexted:IthinkdeathbypoisonisaveryhumanewaytoputScarfoutofhismisery.
Thetoastsfinallyended,andHallieandChuckbailedontheweddingpartyandwenttositbyJamieandJack.Astheyapproachedthetable,HallietookaminutetoadmireJackwhilehewasn’tlooking.
Hissuitandtiewereblack,andsomethingaboutthewholelookwasridiculouslysexy.Helookedlikeacolognead.Helookedliketheguywho’dbeonthecoverofaromancenovelaboutbillionaires.Hewasdashingandgorgeous,andherheartstutteredalittlewhenhelookedupatherfromhischair.
“So,”hesaid,hiseyescrinklingaroundthecorners.“Thosehiccups.”
“Whydidn’tyouscaremeorsomething?”Shegrabbedthechairnexttohimandscooteditcloser,pushingbackthewarmthshefeltforhimoverwhathe’dsaidaboutBen.“Ithoughtyouweremyfriend.”
“WhatexactlyshouldIhavedone—shouted?”
“Sure.”Shegrabbedhishandinbothofhersandstartedplayingwithhisfingerswhilesheleanedinclose.“Anythingwould’vehelped.”
Atinywrinkleformedinbetweenhiseyebrowsashelookeddownattheirhands.
Shesaid,“Idon’twanttosoundlikeacreep,butyoulookincrediblyhot.”
Helookedatherandraisedaneyebrow.“Areyouhittingonme,TB?”
“Littlebit.Bytheway,ChuckandIdecidedthatwe’renotgoingtodancetogetherforthebridalpartydance—he’sgoingtodancewithJamieandI’mdancingwithyou.”
Heraisedaneyebrow.“DoIhaveto?”
“Oh,myGod,youdon’tknowhowtodance,doyou?”
Hesmirkedandsaid,“Actually,mynanamademetakeballroomdancing.”
“Shutup.”
“Seriously.”Hepickeduphisglassandsaid,“Forthreeyears.”
“Soyoucan,like,waltz?”
Heraisedhisdrinktohismouth.“Sohard.”
“Youcanwaltzthecrapoutofme?”sheasked,laughing.
“Andthenyou’llbegmeformore,honey.”
Asitturnedout,hewasn’tlying.
WhentheDJfinallycalledfortheweddingpartytohitthedancefloor,JackledheraroundlikehewasFitzwilliamDarcyataNetherfieldsoiree.
“DearGod,areyouliterallyPrinceCharming?”Halliesaid.
Jackputhismouthtoherearandsaid,“Yes,butdon’ttellanyone.Peoplelosetheirshitoverroyals.”
“Mylipsaresealed.”Shelaughed,squeezingthewarmhandthatheldhers.“Bytheway,Ilovethefeelofyourmouthonmyear,incaseyou’rewondering.”
“Isthatright?”heasked,hislipsmovingovertheshellofherear,clearlyonpurpose.
Sheshiveredashetookhistimetopullbackhismouthfromherskin.“MaybeI’mjustsensitive,though.Tellme,doesitdoanythingforyou?”
Sheraisedherheadandbrushedherlipsagainsthisearlobe,thennuzzledhisneckwithhernose,wantingtoburyherwholeselfinhim.
“Quitit.”Helookedatherhotly,hiseyesintense.“Youknowitdoes.”
“Ican’thelpmyself.”Shelaughedagain,thinkingthecouplesofyesteryearmight’vebeenontosomethingwiththiswholedancingthing.“Makingyoulookatmelikethatisdownrightintoxicating.”
“Youenjoymakingmeweak?”heaskedasheguidedheraroundthedancefloor.
“Ienjoymakingyoufeel.”
“Sadist.”
Theshotswerekickingin.Shedidn’tfeelfuzzy,oranywhereclosetodrunk.Justrelaxedenoughtosay,“IfItellyousomethingaboutfeelsonourlastnightoffakedating,doyoupromisetoforgetitlater?”
Hedidn’tanswerbutjustlookedather,andtheheatofhishandonherlowerbackteasedherskinthroughthedress.
Shesaid,“It’snotgoingtochangeanything,andit’snotlikeI’mfallingforyousodon’tgetallweirdedout.ButI’mprettysureIfeelsomething.”
“What?”
“Itwon’taffectourfriendship,andIdon’twant—”
“Sayitagain.”
“Jack—”
“Allofit,Hal.”Hepulledupandstoppedsotheywerejuststandingonthedancefloor.Hiseyeswereunreadable.“Tellme.”
Sheregrettedopeningherbig,fatmouth,becauseshehadafeelinghewasfreakingout.Still,shesaid,“It’snotabigthing.IjustthinkImighthavesomefeelingsforyouthatIcaneasilyforgettomor—”
Hekissedher.
Rightthereonthedancefloor,astheweddingpartymovedtoasweetsongaboutforever,Jackwrappedhisarmsaroundherwaistandkissedthehelloutofher.Herarmsslidaroundhisneckandsheangledherheadjustalittle,absolutelyfinewithlettinghimdevourhermouthinthemiddleofhersister’sweddingreception.
Shedidn’twanthimtoeverstop.
“Hal,”hesaidagainstherlips,notevenattemptingtostopkissinghertospeak.
“Hmmmm,”shesighed.
“Youaresogettingrailedtonight,”hegrowled.
Thatmadeherstartlaughing,andwhensheopenedhereyes,hewassquintingdownatherinthatwaysheadored.
Therestofthereceptionwentbyinablurbecauseshecouldn’tfocusonanythingbutJack.Shesuddenlyhadthisgreaterawarenessofhim,thisbuzzingelectricalconnection,andshehadnointerestinanythingbuthim.
Cakecutting,“ElectricSlide,”chocolatefountain—theywerealljustwhitenoiseinthebackgroundasJackgrinnedatherinawayshefeltdowntohertoes
Jack
“Hey,Jack,canyoudomeafavor?”
Jack,who’dbeenstandingnexttothebar,watchingHalliedoastupidlinedancewithChuckandhersister,lookedatHallie’smomandsaid,“Ofcourse.”
“Sincefoodserviceisdone,thecaterersleft,butIwanttomakesurethiscaketoppergetsputinthefreezersoRileyandLilliecanhaveitfortheiranniversary.Here’sthekitchenkey—canyouputitinthefreezerforme?”
“Noproblem.”Jacksetdownhisglass,tookthekey,grabbedthesectionofthecakeshewantedtosave,andtookitintothekitchen.HefoundashelfforitinthebackofthefreezerandwasclosingthecoolerdoorbehindhimwhenHalwalkedin.
“Hey.”Shegrinnedathimlikehewasexactlywhatshe’dbeenlookingfor.“You.”
Shepushedhischest,givinghimalittleshovesohisbackwaspressedagainstthefreezerdoor.
Goddamn.Helikedhersomuchitwasstupid.
“There’salotofboozeinthatsmile,”hesaid,lookingdownatherhand.Thesightofhershortredfingernailsonhischestdidsomethingtohim.Eversinceshe’dsaidshehadfeelingsforhim,hefeltlikeawildanimalonaleash,strainingtogetather.
“It’sonlytenpercentwine,”shecorrectedinthatbreathyvoicehe’donlyeverheardwhenhewaskissingher.“Ninetypercenthappiness.”
Andthen,becauseofherhighheels,sheeasilyreachedupandpressedherlipstohis.Heinstantlyfellintoher,tanglinghisfingersinherhairandlosinghisdamnmind.Hermouthwassoftandtastedsweet,likechampagne,andhewantedtosipatituntilhefuckingdrowned.
Godhelphim.
Herhandsflexedonhischest,grasping,anditwaslikeanelectricshockthathefelteverywhere.Hetrailedhismouthdowntoherthroat,whereherskinsmelledliketheChanelNo.5she’dleftonthevanityintheirroom,andhewantedtoconsumeher.
Theskinonherthroat,justunderherear,underneaththecurtainofhaironthebackofherneck—hewantedtotasteeveryinchofit.Shemadeanoiseinthebackofherthroat,ademand,andhemovedbehindher,liftingherhairinhisfistsohecoulddraghisteethoverhernape.
“Jack,”shesaidaroundasigh,slappingherpalmsagainstthefreezerdoor,“thatis…”
Shetrailedoff,andhesaidagainstherskin,“Hot?”
“Mmmm,”shebreathed,pressingherbacksideagainsthisfront.“Iwasgoingtosay‘wicked.’?”
Hewrappedahandaroundherwaistandpulledherback,closer,soshewasflushagainsthisbody.“Youmakemethatway.”
“Whattimeisit?”sheasked,makingalittlenoiseashenibbledattheskinbetweenhershoulderblades.Theredbridesmaiddressexposedhalfofherback,andhewouldbeeternallygratefultoLillieforselectingthestyle.
“Almostten,”hesaid,unwillingtoleaveherbodytoverify.
“Dammit,weonlyhaveafewminutesbeforethebouquettoss,”shesaid,hervoicealmostawhisper.“Pleasehurry,Jack.”
Herwordsalmostmadehimdizzywithlust,andheclenchedhisteethashesaid,“By‘hurry,’youmean…”
Sheansweredhimwithherhandsonhisbelt.
Hallie
Apparentlythatwasallittook.
Jackmutteredastringofobscenitiesashehurriedtomultitaskthingslikebeltsandzippers.Shefeltshewasgoingtodiewaitingasheslidhishandsupherdress,hisfingersdrawingalineupthesidesofherthighsasheraisedtheskirtandbuncheditinhishands.
Andthenhewasthere—oh,God.
Theygroanedinunison,andafterthathishandswereonherhipsandshemight’velostconsciousnessashedroveherabsolutelywild.
“Thisdoesn’tcount,”hesaid,hisvoicethickandhot,“asourfirsttimepost-hotel.”
“Don’t,”shereplied,bendingalittlelowerandarchingherback,makinghimgrowl,“bebossy.”
“Honey,”herasped,andthenherkneesnearlygaveoutashetouchedherwithatalentedhand.“Atthismoment,Iwillbewhateveryouwantmetobe.”
“Jack?”
TheybothfrozeatthesoundofHallie’smother’svoice.Shestartedknockingonthekitchendoor,pounding,andJacksaid,“Shit.”
“Don’tyoudarestop,”Halliesaid.
“Yourmother—”
“Islockedout.”
Hegroanedintoherneckandsaid,“Ididn’tlockthedoor.”
“Idid.”Shelookedathimoverhershoulder.
Heliftedhisheadandhiseyeswerehotblueonhers.“Youdid?”
Shenodded.
“Youfuckinghero,”hesaid,makinghergaspashestartedmovingagain.
Shelaughedandmoanedatthesametime.
Hemutteredintoherhair,“Iwanttoseeyourface.”
“What?”
“Yourface.”Heturnedher,breakingcontactforonlyasplitsecondbeforeslidingrightbackinsideher.
“Well,hello,”shebreathed,hereyesheavyashesmirkeddownather.
“Better,”hesaid,hisfacegoingallintenseashishandsfoundherassandheliftedher,pinningheragainstthefreezerdoorwithhisbigbody.
“Somuchbetter,”shewhispered,lettingherheadfallbackagainstthedoorasshegraspedathisbackandhecontinuedmovinginawaythatmadeherwanttoscream.
“Likethehotel,”hepanted,attheexactsecondshewhispered,“Thisisjustlikethehotel.”
Sheopenedhereyesandsmiledathim,butitquicklyfellawayashisbodypushedherharder,droveherdeeper,ashisblueeyespenetratedhersinthehottestway.
“Hal,”hebitout,hisnostrilsflared,themusclesinhisneckstrainingabovehisshirt,“God,I—”
Sheraisedhermouthandswallowedwhateverhewasgoingtosayinadesperate,wild,hungrykiss.
???
“YourmomthinksI’mevil,”Jacksaid,lookingoverHallie’sheadtowardwherehermotherwasseated.
Theywerestandingbesidethegifttable,whereHalliehadbeeninstructedtocounthowmanypackageswouldneedtobecarrieduptohersister’sroom.
“Shejustdidn’tunderstandwhythedoorwaslocked,”Halliesaid,grinning.ShewashavingtroublenotgrinningasshetalkedtoJackliketheyhadn’tjusthadscreaminglyhotsexinthebanquetkitchen.“Andwhyittooksolongforustoopenit.”
“You’reenjoyingthis,”hesaid,managingtolookdisgustedandamusedallatthesametime.
“Amnot.”Shelookedathishandsomeface,heardthenotesof“AGroovyKindofLove”comingoutoftheDJ’sspeakers,andwasalittlenervousabouthowhappyshefeltatthatmoment.
“Thenwhyareyousmiling?”
Sherolledhereyes.“BecauseI’mhappy.”
Hetiltedhisheadandnarrowedhiseyes.“Idon’tknowifItrusthappyHallie.”
“Youshould.”Shegrabbedhistieandpulledhimalittlecloser.“Becauseshe’sobsessedwiththewayyoumovearoundakitchenandisdesperatelythinkingofawaytolureyoubackinforroundtwo.”
“Ifyou’rethere,”hesaid,sweetlybrushingatendrilofhairbehindherear,“I’mthere.”
Atmidnight,thereceptionwasstillraging.Halliehadplannedonhelpingwithcleanup,buteverytimeJacklookedather,shetoyedwiththeideaofbeingtheworstsisterintheworld.ShewasseriouslycontemplatingjustsneakingawaywithhimwhenherfatherappearedwithBenathisside.
“Hal,yourmomsentmetogetyou.She’sinthepreproom,tryingtofigureoutwhosestuffiswhose.Canyouhelp?”herdadasked.
“Um.”SheglancedatBen,simultaneouslyirritatedbyhispresenceandabsolutelyneutral,emotionallyspeaking.
Herdadgaveheraknowinglookandsaid,“Benvolunteeredtohelp.Isn’tthatnice?”
“Sonice,”Jackmuttered,anditdefinitelydidn’tsoundlikeacompliment.
“Yeah.”Halliedidn’tcareaboutBenandjustwantedtoknowhowquicklyshecouldbeupinthehotelroomwithJack.Sheaskedherdad,“Howlongdoyouthinkit’lltake?”
Hesighed.“Youknowyourmother.”
“Ugh.”HallieturnedbacktoJackandsaid,“Justheaduptobed.GodonlyknowswhenI’llbedone.”
“CanIhelp?”heasked,andastheireyesmet,sherealizeditwastheirlastnightthere.Theirlastnightfakedating.Theirlastnightsharingaroom.
Thelookhegavehersaidhewasthinkingtheexactsamething.
Theyweredowntomerehours.
“It’snotyourproblem,man,”Bensaid,givinghimacharmingsmile.“You’rejustaweddingguest.IfIwereyou,I’dtakethatexcuseandrun.Maketheweddingpartydotheirjobs.”
JacklookedatBenlikehewantedtohithim.
ThenhelookedatHallie—reallylooked—almostasifhewassearchingforherdecision.
Shehadnoideawhattosay.ShewantedJackbyhersidenomatterwhatshewasdoing,butshedidn’twanthimtofeelforcedtohelp,either.
“Doyouhaveyourroomkey?”Jackasked,hiseyesunreadable.
“Oh.”Shenarrowedhereyesandtriedtorememberifshe’dgrabbeditwhilealsotryingtoanalyzethenuancesoftheirsituation.“Idon’tknow.”
“Noworries.I’malightsleeper.”Heclearedhisthroatandsaid,“I’llhearwhenyouknock.”
Theyexchangedanotherlook—lustandlongingandsomethingelseshecouldn’tputherfingeron—beforehesaidgoodnighttoherdadandthenlefttheballroom.
Halliehadn’tevenmadeittothepreproomwhenherphonebuzzed.
Jack:Imissyourmouthalready.
Shesmiledandtyped:Mywordsofwisdom?
Jack:No,yourgorgeouslipsandthewaytheyfeelwhenyousuckmytongueintoyourmouth.
Hallie:Damn,Marshall—thisisaPG-13show.
Jack:Thensomeone’sgoingtobepissedwhenItellyouthatIcan’tstopthinkingaboutthewayyourasslookedwhenyourhandswereonthatcoolerdoor.
Halliefeltthatinherstomach.
Shetexted:Confession:thatmightbethehottestI’veeverhad
Jack:MIGHT?Hal.
Hallie:IjustmeanIcan’tdecidebetweenup-against-the-freezer-doorandon-top-of-the-hotel-room-desk.
Jack:Confession:MyfavoritepartofhotelnightwasactuallyyourRumpleMinzelips.
Hallie:Merekissing??
Jack:Thatfalling-off-a-buildingfeelingthefirsttimeyoukisssomeoneisjustperfection.
Halliesetherhandonherstomachwhenshereadthat.God,Jackwasaheadydrug.Hewouldbealottorecoverfrom,anditwasterrifying.Shetexted:Soyou’resayingitcould’vebeenanyone.
Jack:AnyonewhoknewhowtomakeaperfectManhattan,tellaridiculousjokeabouttheKansasCityChiefs,climbonmylaptogetmyattention,andhavethenameHalliePiper.
Hallie:Nicesave.
Jack:Thankyouverymuch,TB.
Shewasabouttodropherphoneintoherpocketwhenshesawtextingbubbles.Shestaredatthescreenasshewalked,andwhenthetextfinallycamethrough,shefeltbreathlessasshereadhismessage.
Jack:Itcouldn’thavebeenanyonebutyou.
AsshefollowedBenandherdad,Jack’swordskeptplayingthroughherhead,overandoveronaloop.
Imissyourmouthalready.
MyfavoritepartofhotelnightwasactuallyyourRumpleMinzelips.
Itcouldn’thavebeenanyonebutyou.ChapterTWENTY-SIXJack
Jacktookoffhisjacketanddroppeditonthebed,tiredandfrustratedatthesituation.
Halliewashereforhersister’swedding,sothatwasthepriority,hereasonedasheundidhistieandyankeditoff.Ofcourseshewouldstayandhelpout,hemused,untuckinghisshirtwithajerkandundoinghisbuttons.Whatkindofasisterwouldshebeifshedidn’t?
Andthefactthatherdoucheyex-boyfriendwashelping,too,hadnothingtodowithhissuddenfoulmood.
Heknewitwasallpartofbeingabridesmaid,butashecontinuedtoundress,hehadtoadmittobeingselfishlydisappointed.Theentireweekendhadleduptothatnight,forthem,andafterhearinghersaythatshehadfeelingsforhim,he’dbeenchampingatthebittospendtheentirenightworshipingherintheirking-sizedbed.
Hewantedawholenightbeforetheweekendcametoanend.
Jackslidoffhisbeltandwasunbuttoninghispantswhenheheardtheknockatthedoor.
Itcouldn’tbeher.Hewantedittobe,buttherewasnowayshewasfinishedwithherpost-receptiontasks.Ifitwasher,itjustmeantsheneededsomethingfromtheroom.
Hedroppedthebeltonthepileofhisclothingandwalkedovertothedoor.
Whenhepulleditopen,Halliewasstandingthere.Shelookedfocused.And…nervous?Heraisedaneyebrow.“What’dyouforget?”
“Thatweonlyhaveafewhoursleft.”Hereyeswentdowntohischest,thenhisstomach,andhefelthergazelikeatouchasshelookedathisunbuttonedpants.Shetookadeepbreath,raisedhereyestohisface,andsaid,“Iwanttofeeleverythingbeforewegobacktonormal,Jack.”
Hewantedtosaytheydidn’thavetogobacktonormal.Heneededhertoknowthatwhathewantedfromherwasahellofalotmorethantextingandbeingeachother’swingmen.Instead,heheardhimselfsay,“Don’tyouhavetohelpyourmom?”
Sheshruggedandsaid,“ItoldthemIhadtogodosomethingimportant.”
“Suchalittleliar,”hesaid.
“Iwasn’tlying.”Sheraisedherchin,andthattinydefiantmotionmadehimfeelsomekindofway.“Andmyfavoritepartofhotelnightwaswhenyouofferedtoletmeuseyourtoothbrush,bytheway.”
“What?”
“Wewere,um,finished,”shesaid,steppingintotheroomashemovedbackandheldthedoor,“andinsteadofpassingoutordoingwhateverabuzzedpersonmightdoduringaone-nightstand,youaskedmeifIwasokay.Youlookedintomyeyesandwaitedformyanswer,andafterIsaidIwasfine,youofferedtoletmeuseyourtoothbrush.”
Thedoorslammedshutbehindher,andhesaid,“Istillcan’tbelieveyourememberthatnight.”
Shesaidinabreathyvoice,“Ithinkaboutitallthetime.”
Hefeltwarm,likehewasburningup,andallhecouldseewasher.HalliePiperwassurroundinghim,fillinghim,andhecouldfeelherinhiseverymolecule.Hisarmswentaroundher,toherzipper,ashismouthcamedownonhers.
“Jack,”shewhispered,andthesoundofhisnameonherlipsmadehimfuckinginsane.Heopenedhismouthoverhers,needingtotasteher,andasalways,kissingHalliefeltlikesomekindofreward.
Hot,wet,andlikeagatewaydrug,herkissessuckedhiminwiththepromisesofthingshe’dyettofeel.Herteethandtonguerespondedtohimlikethey’dbeenjoltedawake,andhegroanedintohermouthasshemadehimburn.
Hestartedloweringthezipperonthebackofherdress,hisfingertipsgrazinghersoftskin,butthenhefrozewhenhefeltherfingersonthebuttonofhispants.
Hallie
Onetwist,andtheluxurioussuitpantsfelltothefloor.
Herheartwasinherthroat,notbecauseshewassomenervousteenagerbutbecauseithadneverfeltthis…intimatebetweenthembefore.Notipsiness,nojokes,norushtothefinish;itwasjustJackandHallie,aloneinthedarkhotelroomwiththeirtruefeelings.
“God.Hal,”hebitout,hisvoicetightandteethclenchedasshetouchedhim.
AsHallieranherhandsoverJack’sbodyandhismouthcamedownoverhers,herdressslidtothefloor.Hewrappedhishandsaroundherwaistandledhertothebed,wherehewaslightning-fastatgettingherstretchedoutonthebigmattress,naked.
Itwaseverybitthewildstormofthekitchenandtheinfamoushotelnight,butmoreintensebecauseoftheabsolutethoroughness.Jackwasn’tjusttouchingher,hewasreachingeverysinglenerveendinginherbodywithhishandsandfingersandmouth.ShewrithedandarchedandsighedandmoanedasJackexploredeveryinchofher.
“Jack,”shesaid,exhalinghisnameashismouthtraveledbackupherbodyandhoveredaboveherlips.Hiseyeswereheavy-liddedandsensual,andhelookeddownrightwickedashetracedherlowerlipwithhistongueandrepliedwithalowgrowl
Shedidn’twanttobeg,butsheneededhiminsideher.Shescratchedhernailsoverhisbackandarchedup,tryingtogetcloser.
“Hal.Shit.”Hiseyesclosedforasplitsecondandhelookedpained,butwhentheyopened,hegaveheradirtysmileandthenhewasthere,hotandhard,exactlywhereshewantedhim.
“Yes-yes-yes-yes,”shechantedinawhisper,losingherselfinthesinfulfeelofJackslidingdeepintoherbody.Shemovedwithhim,diggingherfingernailsintohisbackassheattemptedtoholdhimagainstherownbodyastightlyasshecould.
Shefeltlikeshewasgoingtogointocardiacarrestfromtheheat.Notonlywasitimpossiblygoodwiththem,physically—sogood,holyshit—ashemovedinsideher,buteverymovementwasenhancedbythisoverwhelmingnewemotionshefeltforhim.
Shedidn’tknowexactlywhatitwas,butsuddenly,hefeltlikemore
Hisfacewasdarkandfullofintensityashelookedintohereyesandmovedfaster,deeper,andshewashavingadifficulttimereconcilingthefactthatthisfantasyloverwasherone-night-stand-turned-best-friend.
“Nothinghaseverfeltasgoodasyou,”hesaid,hisvoicethickandlowagainstherskinashekissedherneckandhisbighandsgrippedherhips.“Asthis.”
Nothingintheworldhadeverfeltthatgood,butsheonlymanagedtomoanJack’snameandbitehisshoulderinresponse.Shewastoolostinhimandwhathewasdoingtoherbodytoformactualwordsandcoherentsentences.
Hegroanedandgrittedhisteeth,lookingslightlyanimalisticasheslidhishandsunderneathher,changingtheangleandbringingherevencloser.Shewonderedifitwerepossibletoblackoutfrompleasuretoointenseashedrovehertowardthatdeliciousedgebetweenecstasyandpain.
Shemight’vesaidhisname,orscreamedit,buttheflashofthewhite-hotendingwasblindinginawhirlthatremovedherfromtheroomaltogether.
Jack
“ThisisthemostridiculousthingI’veeverdoneinbed,”hesaid,watchingHalliecrosstheroominhisdressshirtandherknee-highsocks(asperhisrequest).
Shegrinnedathimandbroughtthetrayover,thecombinedlightofthemutedTVandtheroaringfireinthefireplaceilluminatingherapproach.“SomehowIdoubtthat,butI’mhonoredtointroduceyoutooneofmybeddingspecialties.”
Heshookhisheadslowly.“Thisisjustaterribleidea,TB.”
“No,it’snot.”Shelaughed,settingdowntheroomservicetrayontheirbed.“Aslongasyoupullthecomfortertight,nocrumbsgetinthebed.Youshakeoutthetoplayerwhenyou’redoneandyou’regoodtogo.”
Hewatchedhersitdowncriss-cross-applesauceinfrontofthetray,andherealizedthatthatwasoneofthethingsthatmadeherso…whateverthefuckshewasthathewasobsessedwith.Hallienevertriedtobecooloranythingotherthanwhatshewas,which,atthemoment,wasahungrysexgoddesswho’dorderedfrenchfriesfromroomserviceatthreeinthemorning.
“Youhavetobehungry,too,”shesaid,takingtheheavylidofftheplate.“You’vebeenworkingveryhardforhours.”
“Ashaveyou,”hesaid,andshegavehimastupidlyhugesmile.
Hemessedupherhairandstoleafry,towhichsherespondedbydeliveringastinginghandslap.
TheyturnedupthevolumeontheTVandwatchedarerunofNewGirlwhiletheyconsumedtheirfrenchfries,arguingaboutwhowasthebestcharacter.HethoughtitwasWinston,whileshethoughtNick,buttheybothteeteredontheedgeofmakingSchmidttheirnumberone.
Aftertheykilledthefoodandstartedgettingtired,sheledhimtothebathroom,wheretheybrushedtheirteethsidebysidebecauseHalliewasconvincedthevinegarandsugarinketchupwouldrottheirteethwhiletheyslept.
Everytimeshetriedgargling,shegotthegigglesbecauseJackwaswatchingherandthenshechokedonthemouthwash.Theywerebothlaughingtheirassesoffbythetimehethrewheroverhisshoulderandhauledherovertothebed,andwhentheyfinallylaydownandshuttheireyes,hecouldn’trememberatimehe’dbeenthatfuckinghappy.ChapterTWENTY-SEVENHallie
“Hal.”
Sheopenedhereyes,andtherewasJack,smilingdownather.Sunlightwascomingthroughthewindow,buthewasstillburiedunderneaththecoversbesideher,likehehadbeenallnight.Hishairwasamess,hiseyesweretired,andhewassogorgeousitwasalmosthardtolookathim.
“Goodmorning,”shesaid,reachingupahandtotouchhisjaw.
“Goodmorningtoyou,”hesaid,andthewayhelookedathermadeherfeeladored.“Youtoldmetowakeyouupatseven,andit’sseven.ButI’mabouttohopintheshower,soifyouwanttosnooze,I’llwakeyouupwhenI’mdone.”
“Noruntoday?”sheasked.
“I’mtoopatheticallyintomyfakegirlfriendtoleaveforanhour,”hesaid,kissingherforeheadbeforegettingoutofbed.“Gobacktosleep,andI’llwakeyouwhenIgetout.”
Shewatchedhimwalkacrosstheroomandshethoughtyoucouldprobablybounceaquarteroffthattight,muscularassofhis.She’dprobablytestthatlater,justtomakehimlaughandgetnakedagain.
God,howwasshehavingthosethoughts?HowwasshesuddenlythinkingthatsheandJackwouldmoveforwardasmorethanfriends?Shecouldstillhearhissexygrowlwhenthey’dbeengoingwildinthebed—nothinghaseverfeltasgoodasyou—andshealmosthadtopinchherselftobelieveitwasreal.
ShewasinlovewithJack,andthingswerelookingincrediblypromising.
Shegiggled,thenoiseechoingoffthewoodbeamsoftheirroom,andshefeltlikesinging.
Jack
Hestuckhisheaddirectlyunderthespray,lettinghotwaterslidedownhisfaceandneck.
Jackwasexhaustedinthebestpossibleway.
Hepushedhishairbackandsquirtedbodywashintohishands,rubbingthemtogetherbeforelatheringhishair.
“Ican’tbelieveyouusebodywashasshampoo,”Halliesaid,andJackfeltapinchinthecenterofhischestasheturnedaroundintimetoseehersteppingintotheshower.Shewassofuckinghot,hisnakeddreamgirlwiththewildredhair,butitwasthesmileonherlipsthatmadehimmeltforher.
Shegrinnedathimlikesheknewhimbetterthananyoneelseintheworld,liketheysharedamassivesecret,andtherewassomethingaboutthelookthatalmostdroppedhim.Itwaseverything,andhewantedtokeepherwithhiminthathotelroomforeversoonlyhecouldenjoyit.
“It’sallthesame,”hesaid,buthisthroatwasdryandscratchy.“Soapissoap.”
Herhandsreachedforhis,herfingersslidingthroughhistostealthelatherhe’dbuilt.Shetiltedherheadup,waitingforhimtokissher,asshesetherslickhandsonhim.Hisbreathwhooshedoutofhisbody—shitshitshitshit—andhecoveredhermouthwithhis,voraciouslydevouringherasshemovedbubblyfingertipseverywherehe’deverdreamedabouthertouching.
Hisfingersspearedthroughherhairashermouthbecamehisfeast,becamethecentralizedspotforhimtounleashhispassionateresponsetoherwickedhands.Hescrapedhisteethalongthosesexylips,desperatetoconsumeeverysinglebitofher.
Hislegswereshakingasshekeptslidingthoseslipperyfingertipsoverhim,andwhenitwastoomuch,tooclose,hewrappedhisarmsaroundherwaistandliftedher.Startled,shestilledherhandsashehauledheroutoftheshower.
Steamfilledthebathroomashotwatercontinuedfallingfromtherainforestshowerhead,andJacksetatowelonthevanitywithonehandbeforeliftingherontopofit.Hereyeswereheavy-lidded,likeshewasstrugglingtokeepthemopen,andtheyflutteredclosedwhenhesteppedbetweenherlegsandslidinsideher.
Theymoanedatthesametime,hersaneedyrequestwhilehiswasdeepandguttural.
Hefuckinglovedthatsound,lovedthathewastheonedrawingthatreactionfromher.
Sheleanedbackonherarms,lettingherheadfallbackashedrovehertomadnesswithhisstrongbody.Hismouthtookadvantageofherposition,liftingwaterdropletsoffherwetskinwhileheexploredherwithhistongue,andheknewhe’dneverforgetthehotlookinhereyesasshewatchedhimlickalloverher.
Hefeltherheelsdigintohislowerback,andshewrappedherarmsaroundhisshoulderswhileherbodytightenedandflexedaroundhim.Everymovementtheysharedwasfuckingsexualperfection—scorchingintoxicationthathewastotallyundertheinfluenceof—andhehadthefleetingrealizationthathe’dneverhadsexlikethatbefore.
Inhisentirelife.
Itwasgreatsex,thekindofsexyoucouldn’tquiteveniftheworldwasendingaroundyou,butitwaslacedwithadisconcertingsentimentalitythatmadehimwanttopullHalliecloserandkissherontheforehead.
Whichignitedsomethinginsidehimthatmadehisalreadysweatybodyfeelhotallover.
Jacktightenedhisgriponherhipsandgavehimselfuptoallofit,goingwildwithHallieasshepantedlikeasprinterandclutchedathisshoulders.Heburiedhisfaceinherneckasthefinishrushedthroughhim,andhe’dbarelyrefocusedonhissurroundingswhenheheardHalliesay,“Nowthatwasabrilliantstarttothemorning,Marshall.”
Hallie
“Ican’tbelievehowpissedyourmomlooked,”Jacksaidastheyboardedtheirflight.
“Yeah,sheunloadedonmeinthebathroom,andI’mfairlycertainshethinksyou’remybadinfluence.”Halliegiggled,andcouldn’tbelievethathermother’sragewasn’tstressingheroutatall.“BeforeyouIwasanangel.”
“Wonderful,”hesaid.
“It’llbefine.NexttimewetalkI’lltellheryousavedmefromdrowningorsomething,andit’llbecool.”
“Thissoundsabsolutelylikesomethingthatwon’twork,”heteased,squeezingherfingers.
Shelovedthathe’dimmediatelygrabbedherhandattheairport,evenwithoutrelativesinsight.Theirfakedatingwasofficiallyover—everyoneelsewasleavingthefollowingday—buthewasstilltreatingherthesame.
Andafterthenightandmorningthey’djustshared,shewasn’tsurprised;ithadbeenintimateandperfect,waymorethanjustarollintheonly-one-bedhotelroom.
Butatinypartofherwasconcernedbecausetheyhadn’thadtimethatmorningtoreallytalkaboutwhattheirrelationshipwouldbeuponreturninghome.Neitherofthemhadsaidexactlywhattheywanted,butshewastooafraidtobringitup.
Oncetheywereintheair,sheleanedherheadonhisshoulderandfellsoundasleep.Shesleptthroughtheentireflight,andwhenhereyelidsflutteredopenastheflightattendantannouncedtheirdescent,Jacksmiledatherinawaythatmadeherremembereveryhotdetailfromthenightbefore.
“Whyareyousotired,TinyBartender?”heasked,hisvoicedeepandgravellyasheranhishandupanddownherspine.“Longnight?”
“Idon’twanttoovershare,”shewhispered,raisinghermouthtohisear,“butImetaguyataweddingandherailedmeallnightlong.”
“Hesoundsfit,”Jacksaid.
“Youhavenoidea,”shesaid.“Itwaslikeasexualbootcamp,butwithfrenchfriesandTV.”
Thatmadehimthrowhisheadbackandlaugh,thesamewayhehadwhenthey’dfallenoutoftheclosetduringtherehearsaldinner,andsheknewitwasover.
ShewasheadoverheelsinlovewithJackMarshall.ChapterTWENTY-EIGHT
“I’mgoingtotherestroom,andI’llmeetyouatbaggageclaim.”
“Deal,”Jacksaid,grabbinghercarry-onfromhershoulderandputtingitoverhis.
“Don’tditchme,”shesaid,laughing,andthenhesteppedontotheescalatorandheadeddownstairs.Shewalkedtowardtheclosestbankofpublicrestrooms,butshefeltmorelikeskipping,shewassohappy.
“Hallie?”
Halliestoppedandturned.ItwasAlex.
“Oh.Hey.Whatareyoudoinghere?”Shestoodthereasherantocatchupwithher,butshewassurprisedathowunaffectedshefelt.Notevenherbruisedegocaredanymoreaboutthisblondman,smilingandapproachingcautiouslylikehewasafraidshe’dslughim.
“Last-minuteworktrip—talkaboutasmallworld.Doyouhaveaquicksecond,sincewebothendedupinthesameplace?”
Shelookedbehindhim,thenbackathisface.“Well,Imean,Ikindofhavetogo—”
“Justonesecond.Please?Obviouslytheuniversewantedustomeetup.”
Sheshruggedandsteppedoutofthefoottraffic,settlingbesidetheairportbookstore.Sheknewshelookedroughwithnomakeupandamessybun,butshereallydidn’tcare.
“Ijustwanttoapologize,”hesaid,lookingincrediblyserious.“Iamsosorry,Hallie.”
Whatwaswithallthemenfromherpastapologizingtoherallofasudden?
Shewavedahandandsaid,“It’sokay.”
“Iregretitsomuch,andIdon’tknowifyou’deverconsiderit,butI’dlovetotakeyououttodinner.”
Shegaveatinyshakeofherhead.“That’sverynice,butIdon’tthinkso.”Shepaused,andbecauseshewasgenuinelycurious,shesaid,“CanIask,though,what’schangedsinceyouthoughtweweren’tmeanttobetogetherlastweek?”
Heswallowedandsaid,“Iwasanidiot.Rememberhowwetalkedaboutdatingappsandorganicchemistry,andhow—”
“Howyouthoughtfatewasmoreimportantthananythingelse?Yeah.”HalliewasstartingtogetimpatientbecausesheknewJackwaswaitingforher.Also,shestillneededtousetherestroom.“Iremember.”
“Well,whenyourfriendtoldmeaboutthebet,Igotmad,tobehonest,becausethingsweregoingsowellthatIwantedtobelieveitwasfate.WhenIfoundoutitwasn’t—”
“What?”Alarmbellsstartedringinginherheadathismentionofthebet.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
“Jack.IranintohimwhenIwasleavingyourplace,thedayhebroughtyouthecattoysIhadinmycar…?”
“Oh,yeah.”Halliefeltalittleconfusedbywhathewastalkingabout,butsherememberedJackbringingupthetoysAlexhadgottenforTigger.“Um—”
“Wewereshootingtheshitintheparkinglot,andwhenIgushedaboutyouanditbeingfate,hetoldmeaboutthebet.”
“What,um—”
“Yourbetonwho’dfindsomeonefirst.”
“Oh.”Halliefeltlikeshewasmissingsomething,butshewasn’tsurewhatitwas.“Hementionedthattoyou?”
“IthinkhejustwantedtosettherecordstraightthatyouandIweredefinitelynotfated.”
HallienarrowedhereyesandlookedatAlex.WhywouldJacktellhimabouttheirbet?JackhadknownhowmuchshehadlikedAlex.Whywouldheinterjectthatintoaconversationwithaguyhebarelyknew?
Andwhyhadn’thementionedittoherwhenAlexhaddumpedher?
“Listen,Alex,thebetwasjustourwayofmotivatingeachothertokeeptryingtofindsomeone.Therewasnothing—”
“Oh,Iknow—that’swhathesaid,too,”Alexsaid.“Honestly,Igottheimpressionhewastryingtomakesomethinghappenwithyou,andIwasintheway.Butthatdoesn’tmatter.”
Shesmiledeventhoughshefeltunsettledbytheirentireconversation.“Itdoesn’t?”
“No,thescrewupwasallmine.Listen,canItextyoulater?”Heleanedinalittlecloserandsaid,“Thisisaweirdplacetochat,andIwouldreallyliketofinishthisconversation.”
Shenoddedandsaid,“Sure.”
Aftershewalkedawayfromhim,Halliestartedfilteringthrougheverythinginherhead.Shewasonautopilotasshewenttotherestroom,washedherhands,andsteppedontotheescalator.Jack’swords,Alex’swords,Olivia’swords—theyallloopedthroughhermind,andbythetimesheapproachedthebaggageclaimarea,shehaditfiguredout.
Anditfuckingsucked.
She’dbeenJack’slow-hangingfruit,justlikeOliviahadpredicted,andwhenhe’dseenherconnectingwithsomeoneelseafterhe’dgottendumped,afterhe’dspenttwoweeksinMinneapolisbeingsadandlonelyabouthisuncleMack,he’druineditforher.
WhyelsewouldhehavekepthisconversationwithAlexasecret?
Whenhe’dbeenholdingherinherbedroom,makingherfeelbetteraboutherbreakupwhileshebawled,therightthingtodowould’vebeentosay,Itoldhimaboutthebet—that’sprobablywhy.
Buthehadn’tsaidaword.
He’dlethercryhereyesoutwithoutevenmentioningit.
Andthenhe’dofferedtoswoopinandbeherPrinceCharming.
Shehadnoideawhattomakeofthisinformationaftereverythingthathadhappenedbetweenthemlastnight.Ithadbeenanamazing,perfectnightforher,butwhatexactlyhaditmeanttohim?
God,wasshejustoverthinkingeverything?
Sheknewshewas,butontheotherhand,she’dthoughtBenwasabouttoproposewhenheactuallyhadrealizedthatshewasn’tsomeonehecouldlove,ashardashetried.SowhatifJackwashappyrightnowwithhiseasilypicked,low-hangingfruit?Woulditlast?Orwouldheultimatelyrealizethatashardashe’dtriedtomakeherthesolutiontohisloneliness,shewasn’ttheone?
“Ithoughtyougotlost.”
Hallieturnedaround,andtherewasJack,grinningdownatherwiththeirluggagepiledinfrontofhim.Hissmilemadeherstomachdrop,andassheturnedherlipsupintoasmile,shekindofwantedtocry.
Shesaid,“IjustsawAlex.”
Hissmiledisappeared.“Theblondclown?”
Shenodded.“Hewantstocallmelater.Hesaidheregretsbreakingthingsoff.”
HisAdam’sapplemovedwhenheswallowed,butthatwastheonlychangetohiscountenance.Hedidn’tlooklikehehadanythingatalltoconfess.“Yougonnawaitbythephone,TB?”
Sheshruggedandtriedtosoundteasingwhenshesaid,“Iguesstimewilltell.”
Heslidhisfingersbetweenhers.“I’lljusthavetokeepyoutoobusytohearthephone,then.”
Theytooktheshuttletohiscar,andHalliethoughtitfeltlikeit’dbeenyearssincethey’dlefttown.Jackkeptholdofherhand,buttheywerebothquiet,anditfeltliketherewasahuge,unspokenissuehoveringoverthem.
Whentheygottohiscar,shecalledRuthietocheckonTiggerandtellhertheywereontheway.Ruthiesaidshecouldn’tbeartopartwithhercatbabyandmighthavetoborrowhimthenextday.
“Sohefinallystoppedhittingher?”Jackasked.
“Apparentlyso.”
Theysettledintosilenceashepulledawayfromtheparkinglot,andHalliewasrelievedwhenhetookaworkcall.Shewasabletogetinherownheadandthinkwhilehediscussedtheconcretefinishthatwasgoingtobeusedinanupcomingproject.
Theonelessonshe’dlearnedfromtheBenbreakup—thankyou,Dr.McBride—wasthatthemostimportantthingwasforhertobehonestwithherselfabouthowshefeltabouteverylittlething,goodorbad.
Soherfirsthonestadmission:ShelovedJack.ShewantedJack.Whatshewanted,morethananythingintheworld,wastopretendshe’dnevertalkedtoAlexattheairport.ShewantedtothrowherselfintobeingwithJack,livingliketheyhadovertheweekend.
Buthersecondhonestadmission:Shewouldratherloseanyromanticpossibilitieswithhimnowthangothroughwhatshe’dgonethroughwithBenlater.Thathadbeenhell,andshewaspositiveitwouldbetentimesworsewithJack.
Herthirdhonestadmission:Shewasn’tmadhe’dtoldAlexaboutthebet—itwasn’tasuper-swornsecretoranything—butshewaslividthathehadn’tmentioneditsometimebetweenAlexdumpingherandnow.
“Youokay?”
HallieglancedoveratJackashedrovealongthefreeway—shehadn’tevenrealizedhe’ddisconnectedthecall.
“Oh.Yeah.”Shesmiledandherthroatwastight.“I’mjustsotired.”
“Same.”
Shelaidherheadbackontheseatandclosedhereyes,preferringtofeignexhaustionovermakingconversation.Becauseherfourthhonestadmissionwasthatsheknewexactlywhatshehadtodo
Anditmadeherwanttoweep.
Jack
Fuuuuuck.
Hewasn’tusuallyinsecure,butHalliehadbeenquietanddistantsincerunningintoAlex.Sheseemedweirdabouthimcallingherlater,almostasifshewasopentoit,whichmadeJackwanttotossherphoneoutthedamnwindow.
Hecouldn’tstophisbrainfromthinking,overandoveragainlikeafuckingdemonicchant,ShestillwantsAlex.
Jackpulledintotheparkinglotofherbuildingandgrabbedherluggagefromthetrunk,andtheywentuptoherapartment.RuthiespenttwentyminutestellingHallieeverythingTiggerhaddoneinherabsencewhileHalsnuggledthehugetabby,sohehadafewminutestogethisshittogether.
WhenRuthiefinallyleftandHallieclosedthedoorbehindher,hepulledHalintohisarms.Theyweregreattogether,andAlexshowingupattheairportwasjustablipthey’dbothforgetafterfivesecondstogetherinherapartment.
Butinsteadofbeingherplayfulself,Hallielookeddeadseriousasherwaryeyesstaredintohis.Soserious,infact,thatheactuallyfeltapangofnervousnessslicethroughhisbelly.
“What’sup,TinyBartender?”Hekissedthetipofhernose,thecenteroftheconstellationofmini-freckles.“Youlooktroubled.”
Sheswallowedandsaid,“Nah,I’mjustalittle…introspectiveasweleavethefakedatingbehind.”
“Introspective,huh?”Hisheartstartedpounding—stupid,that—ashegotreadytotellherexactlyhowhefelt.Ifshewasreadytotalkabouttheirrelationship,Godhelphim,hewasreadytoputhimselfoutthereandconfesstoeveryoverpoweringfeelinghehadforher.
Shenoddedandsetherhandsonhischest.“Thisisourlastnightofpretend,andpartofmeisgoingtomissit.”
“Ithasbeenfun,”hesaid,alittleconfusedbyherreferringtothatnight,thatmoment,aspretendwhenitwasonlythetwooftheminherapartment.
Also—whatthefuck—thenightbeforedefinitelyhadn’tbeenpretendforeitheroneofthem.
“Agreed.”Shelookedsadasshesaid,“Thelinesgotalittleblurryovertheweekend,butyouweretheperfectfakeboyfriend,andI’msograteful.”
Hedidn’tsayanything,becausehisthroatwastootighttospeak.Itwasallthereonherface,inthefatalisticwayshelookedupathim.
Holyshit.
Shewasendingthings.
Itwasoverbeforeit’deverstarted.
Hallie
Shewasdyinginsideandwantedsobadlytocrawlintoherbedandcryhereyesout.Butnotbeforehavingonelastnightwithhimasmorethanfriends.
“Itotallygetitifyouwanttogohomeandgetbacktonormal.Thereareprobablygirlsinthedatingqueuerightnow,waitingforyourresponse.”Shetriedtosurrounditinasarcasticlaugh,butnonecameout.“Ipersonallywillnotbegettingbackontheappuntiltomorrow,becauseI’mfartootired.”
“Hal.”Hisblueeyeswerestormy.“Whatthehellare—”
“Butifyou’reinterested,I’mgameforonelastnightofpretend.OnelastnightofHallieandJack,thecoupleatthewedding,havingmind-blowingsex.”
Itsoundeddesperatetoherears,butshewaswhenitcametoJack.Shewasdesperateforonefinalnight.
Hisjawflexed,andhelookedpissedashiseyestraveledalloverherface.Ittookalongmomentbeforehesaid,“Letmegetthisstraight.Thatwholefakedatinggameisoverandwe’rebacktobeingfriends,butyouwanttofuckonelasttime?”
“Forgetit,”shesaid,mortifiedbytheinsultingwayhe’dsaidit.“Ididn’t—”
“I’min,”hegrowled,andthenhislipswereonhers.
Itwasangryandhot,hismouthopeninghersandkissingherwithawildaggression.Hishandscameuptoholdherfacesohecouldabsolutelygoferalwithhisteethandtongue,andshegrabbedhisbicepsbecauseshefeltlikesheneededsomethingtoholdonto.
Hemadeasoundinthebackofhisthroatbeforesuckinghertongue,beforetreatinghermouthlikeitwasajuicy,ripepeachthathewantedtoeatwhole.
Justlikethat,shewasinhisarmsandhewascarryingherintothebedroomasshewrappedherlegsaroundhiswaist.Hiseyesweredarkashedroppedherontothebedandcrawledupherbody,hismouthonlyleavingherslongenoughtoremoveclothing.
Herhandswereshakingasshefumbledwiththezipperofhisjeans,andtheneverythingchanged.
Hisexpressionstayedjustasserious,justashyper-focusedandintense,buthisbodygentled.Histouchessoftened.Hismouthgrewworshipfulinsteadofravenous.
Itbrokeherheart,becauseitwastoomuch.
Andwhenhefinallysliddeepinsideher,shehadtoclosehereyestoholdbackthetears.Itwassogood,likeitalwayswaswithJack,andshetriedtojustloseherselfinthephysicalityofitall.
Don’tthink,don’tthink,don’tthink.
“Openyoureyes,”hesaid,hisvoicegruff.“Please?”
Shedid,andhisthroatmovedasheswallowedandlookeddownather.Shesawtheflareofhisnostrils,theflexofhisjaw,andastheireyeslocked,theyexchangedpowerfulunspokenwords.Goodbye.Onelasttime.Shereareduptokisshim,needinghismouthonhers.Shelockedherhandsaroundhisneckandsealedhermouthonhisashemadeherdizzywiththewayhemovedinherbody.
Thentheyreachedthepointofnoreturn,whereemotionsceasedtomatterasrawlusttookover,andwhensheshiftedherweighttoflipthem,soshewasontop,hecursedlikeasailor.
Hisfingersheldherhips,diggingintoherskinashewatchedhermove,butwhenhesatstraightupandkissedher,takingherfaceinhishands,shewasdone.
Shemoanedintohismouthaseverymuscleinherbodyclenchedandflexed,andasecondlaterhewasbitingherlowerlipandgroaningintohers.
Jack
Heturnedandmoved,slidingthemonthesheetssotheywerelyingsidebyside.Hallie’seyeswereclosed,herbreathinglaboredastheybothcamebacktothemselves.Hefeltemotionalashelookedatthefrecklesonhernose,thebowofherlip,andlikeapatheticfool,hetouchedthecurveofhercheekandsaid,“Areyousureyouwanttobedonewiththis,Hal?”
Hereyesopened,andhehatedthewaytheylooked.Hurt,distant—hecouldn’tputhisfingeronwhathesaw,butitwasn’tgood.Sheblinkedfastbeforeshesaidinapinchedvoice,“Absolutely.”
Hegaveanodandsatup,gettingoutofbedandgrabbinghispantsfromthefloor.Therewasaroaringinhisears,andeventhoughheknewhedidn’twanttoknow,heheardhimselfask,“IsthisbecauseofAlex?”
Heshovedafootintooneofthepantlegs,unabletosaytheguy’snamewithoutgrittinghisteeth.Becausehonestly,hewassofuckingjealousitwasalmostpainful.
“Um,Iguessyoucouldsaythat,”shesaid,hertoneflat,andherresponserippedhisheartoutofhischest.
Heturnedbacktothebedandshewasstandingnow,thesheetwrappedaroundherbody,herarmscrossedoverherchest.Heswallowedandmuttered,“Awesome.”
Shesquintedathimandsaid,“Whydidn’tyoutellmethatyoutoldhimaboutthebet?”
Hishandsstilledonhisbutton.“What?”
“Beforethewedding.”Sheglaredathimandsaid,“ItsoundstomelikeyougotdumpedbyKayla,soyoudecidedtotellAlexaboutthebettogetmedumped.”
Hefelteverythingrushtoahaltasherealizedhowitlooked.Whatshethought.Howitseemed.Heshookhisheadandsaid,“No,itwasn’tlikethatatall.Ijusttoldhimaboutthebetbecausethatjackassthoughtfatebroughtyoutwotogether.Thatyouweremeanttobe.”
“Whydidyoucare?”Sheinhaledthroughhernose,hereyesflashing,andshesaid,“Anditwaslikethat,Jack,becauseyou’rewhollyresponsibleforhimbreakingupwithme.”
Hegroundhisteethtogethersoharditfeltliketheymightshatter.Whydidhecare?BecauseIhavehugefuckingfeelingsforyou,HalliePiper.
Notthathecouldtellherthatnow
Shesaid,“Ican’tbelieveyouletmecryoverhimwithouttellingmethetruth.”
Hewantedtoapologize,becausehedidfeelliketrashaboutthat,buthismouthcouldn’tformthewordswhenshewaslookingathimlikethat.
Likeshewaslividbecausehe’druinedherrelationshipwiththatguy.
BecauseshewantedAlex,nothim.
“Myapologies,Hal,”hesaidashefinishedputtingonhispants,feelinglikeachumpforgrabbingatthechancetosleepwithheronelasttime.Hehadn’tbeenabletoresistbeingclosetoheragain,evenknowinghe’dregretitafterward.
Hell,ifhewerebeinghonest,he’dbeenhalfhopingitwouldchangethings.
“Sure,”shesaid,bitingdownonherlowerlipandyankingupthesheetalittlehigher.
Lookingathersuddenlyfeltphysicallypainful,andhehadtogetthehelloutoftherebeforehemadeafoolofhimself.“I’vegottogomovemycarbeforeitgetstowed.”
Hepulledontherestofhisclothes,andashegrabbedhiskeysfromthekitchencounter,shesaid,“Bye,Jack.”
Andthenshewentbackintothebedroomandclosedthedoor.
Well,fuck.ChapterTWENTY-NINEHallie
Jack:CanIcallyou?
Halliedroppedherphoneonherdesk,sighed,andhatedthewayherheartwasracingatthesightofhisnameonherphone.
Becauseithadbeentwoweeks.
Twoweeksofradiosilence.
Atfirst,she’dbeengladhehadn’ttexted—sheneededacleanbreak,emotionallyspeaking,fromtheirgames.She’dcriedthroughhershowerandhalfwaytoworkthemorningaftertheirlasttime,whereuponshedecidedtonutupandknockitoff.
Jackwasherverybestfriend,andthatwasallthatmattered.
Butthen…henevercameback.Hedidn’tcallherandhedidn’tsendasingletext.
Inherwildestdreams,shewouldn’thaveimaginedhewouldjustdisappearfromherlife.
Shemissedhimsomuchitwasalmostunbearable.Sheclosedoutofherspreadsheetandtexted:It’s6pmandI’mswampedandtryingtofinishsoIcanleave.
Beforeshecouldaddtothat,herphonestartedringing.
“Sonofabitch,”shewhispered,justbeforesheansweredwithaterse,“Hello?”
“Hey.How’swork?”
Howcouldthesoundofhisvoicebesooverwhelming?Shelookedatthewallclockandsaid,“Great.What’sup?”
“Doyoumaybewanttogetsomefoodtonight?”Hesoundedserious,andshehatedthatthatwaswhatthey’dbecome:seriouspeoplewhodidn’ttalkanymore.“Iwashopingmaybewecouldeatandkindoffigureoutwhat’sgoingonwithus.”
Herbrainscreamed,Wherethehellhaveyoubeenfortwoweeks?!
Shesighed.“I’mbehindandhavetoplaycatch-up.Sorry.”
“Whatabouttomorrownight?”Jackasked.
Shewasn’tsurewhyshesaidit,butshesaidinherbreeziestvoice,“Iactuallyhaveadate.”
“Oh.”Sheheardhimclearhisthroatbeforehesaid,“Throughtheapp?”
“Yeah.”
“Stilltryingtowinthebet,then?”
Asif.Asifsheevenfeltlikedatingagain.Andhowdareheteaseher,liketheywerefriendsorsomething.Shetriedsoundinglighterstillwhenshesaid,“OfcourseIam.Ineedavacation,Jack.”
“NotasmuchasIneedthatWorldSeriesball.WanttogetTacoHutafterward?”
Areyoufreakingkiddingme?Shepowereddownhercomputerandsaid,“Soundsgood,butIthinkthisdatemightbeagoodone,wheretacoswon’tbenecessary.”
“Isthatright?”Hisvoicewasdeep.
Sheswallowed.“Yes.”
Thesilencefeltloudandslow-moving,andsheopenedhermouthtosaysomething,anything,whenhesaid,“Iguesswe’llplayitbyear,then.”
“Iguessso.”
“Where’sthedate?Charlie’s?”
“Yes,but—”
“Seeyoutomorrow,Hal,”heinterrupted,andthenhewasgone.
Shehungupthephoneandcursedloudlysinceherofficedoorwasclosed.Dammitdammitdammit!Hadshelosthermind?She’dagreedtomeetAlextotalk,butitwasn’tadate,andshedefinitelydidn’twanttoseeJack.
Shit.
Sheshould’vejusttoldhimno,butherbrainhadshortedouttheminuteshe’dheardhisvoice.
Jack
“Oh,myGod,”Oliviascreamed,staringathimlikehe’dsproutedasecondhead.“Soyouhaven’ttalkedtohersincethatnight?”
“Shutthefuckup,Liv,”hemuttered,flippingoffhissisterasshefreakedthehelloutoverhisridiculoussituation.HelookedatColinandsaid,“Howdoyounotbangyourheadonthewalleverydamndayforhavingtodealwithher?”
ColingrinnedandlookedatOlivia.“Ifindbetterwaystochannelmyaggression.”
“Iamgoingtopuke.”JackpickedupthebottleofDosEquisandsaid,“Forreal.That’sdisgusting.”
ColinandOlivialaughed,andasmuchasitpainedhimtoadmitit,theyreallywereagreatcouple.Somehowtheirdifferencesmadethemperfectforeachother.
Fuckers.
“Soyou’reinlovewithHallie.”
“No.”Hegroanedandsaid,“Imean,kindof.Yes.Yes,Iam.”
Livviesaid,“Butsheonlywantstobefriends.”
“Maybenoteventhat.”
“Eventhoughyouslepttogetherwhilepretendingtobeacouple.”
“I’msorry—areyougoingtocontinuesynopsizingmysituation?Becauseit’sreallyfuckingannoying.”
“Sorry,”shesaid,laughing.“I’mjusttryingtofigureitallout.”
“Ifyouaskme,”Colinsaid,“thisisallabouttheblondclown.”
“What?”Oliviaasked.
“What?”Jackrepeated,shockedbecausehehadn’teventoldthemaboutthepost-sexconversation.He’dcasuallymentionedthey’dseenhimattheairport—thatwasall.
“Everythingwasgreatuntilshesawtheotherdudeattheairport.”Colinraisedhiswhiskeytohismouthandsaid,“Sheobviouslyeitherhasfeelingsforhimoristryingtofigureoutifshedoes.”
ThatmadeJackwanttopunchsomething.He’dstartedtotextHallieaboutahundredtimessincethey’dlastbeentogether,buteverysingletimehestoppedhimself,becauseshit,whatifshewasalreadyofficialwithAlex?
Hedidn’tknowifshewantedhimatall,butsomethinginsidehimneededtogiveitonelastshot.
Oliviasaid,“No,don’tlistentohim,Jack.Ithinkshedoesn’tknowwhattodowithherfeelingsforyou.”
“Youguysarenohelpwhatsoever.”He’dstoppedbytheirplacesolelybecausehedidn’twanttogohomeandbealone,butherealizedashesattherethathedidn’tfeelanybetterwhenhewaswithpeople,either.“I’mgoinghome.”
“Youneedtotellherhowyoufeel,”Oliviasaid.
“Ithinkshe’sright,Godhelpme,”Colinsaid.“Justtellherhowyoufeel,becauseyourfriendshipisalreadyfucked.Youwillneverhaveitbackthewayitwasbefore,soyou’vegotnothingtolose.”
“Wow,you’rereallyshittyatthis,”Jacksaid,terrifiedColinwasrightabouthisandHallie’sfriendship.Ironically,itwaswhathe’dbeenafraidoffromthebeginning.“NowIjustwanttogosobintomypillow.”
“You’llbefine,”Oliviasaid,walkingtothefreezerandopeningthebottomdrawer.“Ijustmadeicecreamcake.”
Hesetdownhisbeer.Everythingsucked,butmaybeicecreamcakewouldmakehimfeelbetter,right?
Wrong.
BecausetheminutehelookeddownatthebowlOliviasetinfrontofhim,herememberedeatingicecreamwithHallieonthefloorofherlivingroomandthewayshe’dlickedherbowllikeadamncat.
Therewasnoonequitelikeher,andhewasterrifiedhe’dlostherforever.ChapterTHIRTYHallie
“Yougetit,though,right?”
HallienoddedandsmiledalittletoobrightlyatAlex,forcinghereyesnottoroamtheestablishmentinsearchofJack.“Ido.Itmakesperfectsense.”
Shecouldheartherainpouringontheroof.It’dbeenoneofthosechillyautumndayswheretherainfellinsheetsanddidn’tstop.Sincethesecondshe’dopenedhereyesthatmorning,it’dseemedliketheperfectweatherforherstupidnon-datedatenight.
Alexpickeduphiswaterandtookadrinkbeforesaying,“Itwasdumb,honestly.”
“Weallhaveourexpectationsthatwe,”shesaid,herheartpoundinginherchestasshesawJackwalkin,“um,expect.”
Alexnodded.“Right?Itwasadumbthingtogethungupon.”
“Itiswhatitis,”shesaid,watchingasJackbellieduptothesideofthebar.Hewaswearingjeansandathickfishermansweater,andhesatdownonastoolthatputhimdirectlyinherlineofsight,whichwasablessingandacurse.Hewassoattractive,andherlovesickeyesweredyingtodrinkhimin,buthewasalsotheworld’sbiggestdistraction.
Especiallywhenhelookedoveratherandgaveherachinnod.
ShelookedbackatAlex.
“Listen,I’vegottobehonestwithyou,”shesaid,notwantingtoleadhimon.“Ireallylikeyou.Youseemlikeagreatguy.Thishasnothingtodowithyou,butI’mreallynotlookingtodateanyonerightnow.”
Hiseyesnarrowed,likehewastryingtofigureherout,buthedidn’tlookmad.“Okay,soI’mgoingtoaskyouwhatyouaskedmeattheairport.What’schangedsincebefore?”
“Well,”shesaid,notsurehowtoexplainit,“let’sjustsayIkindoffellforsomeoneelse.Itdidn’tworkout,butitleftmewithverystronganti-datingfeelings.”
“Gotit.”Hereachedoutahandandsetitontopofhers.“Isityourbestieatthebar?”
Hereyesshotuptohis.“What?”
Heshrugged.“Isawhimcomein.Actually,Isawyouseehimcomein.”
“Alex,Iamsosorry—”
“Nope.”Hesmiledandsaid,“Igotavibefromhimbothtimeswemet,soIcan’tsayI’msurprised.”
Sheswallowed.“There’snothinggoingonwithus,Ipromise.Andtherewasn’twhenyouandIweredating,either.”
“Iknow.”Heswirledtheliquidinhisglassandsaid,“Areyouokay,bytheway?”
Shesmiled.Hereallywasaniceguy.“Iwillbe.Youknowhowitis—lovejustsucks.”
“Truerwordshaveneverbeenspoken,”hesaid,smilingbackather.“Wecanstillhavedinnerasfriends,though,right?Ifeellikewe’veearnedit.”
Sheliftedherglassofwineandnodded.“Wehaveearnedit.”
Jack
“CanIgetanotherwater,please?”
Jackslidhisemptyglasstowardthebartenderashetriedgettinghisshittogether.AfterdowningawhiskeywhilewatchingHalliesmileatAlex,hedecidedhe’dbetterswitchtowaterbeforeheendedupdyingofalcoholpoisoning.
Butwhatintheactualfuck?
Firstofall,howthehelldidshelooksobeautifulandsofuckinghappy?He’dimagined,likehim,shewasstrugglingtomoveonwithouttheirfriendship.He’dimaginedthatshemissedhimatleastafractionoftheamounthewasmissingher.
Butshelookedlikeeverythingwasperfect.
Hehadn’tplannedadateforthatnight,becausewhatwasthepointofdraggingsomenicepersonalongwhenallhewasinterestedinwasHallie?Buthe’dexpectedhertobewithsomerando,notAlex.
Andhedefinitelyhadn’texpectedthemtobefawningallovereachotherliketheywerehavingthebesttime.Hekeptsittingthere,poundingwaterandwaitingforhertolooklikeshemightwanttobail,butthesoundofherlaughterkeptslicingthroughhimlikeafuckingmachete.
Hepulledouthisphoneandwasabouttotextherwhenshelostit.Shestartedcrackingupatsomethingtheguysaid,withthatsamecontagiousbellylaughthatshe’dlaughedintheirhotelroombathroomwhenshetriedtogargle,andJackwasdone.
Hewasout.
Helaidacoupleofbillsonthebar,stood,andleft.
Hallie
He’sleaving?
Halliejumpedup,herchairsqueakingonthefloorasshestood.HereyeslandedonAlex,andhegesturedforhertogo.Shestartedtowardthedoor,havingnoideawhatshewasgoingtosay,buthowcouldhejustbailonher?
Shepushedthedoorandwentoutside,therainimmediatelypouringdownonher.Shelookedtoherleftandsawthebackofhissweaterashewalkedaway.
“Wait!”Halliestartedrunningassheyelled,“Jack!”
Hestoppedandturned,hishairalreadysoaked.
“Wheredoyouthinkyou’regoing?”sheyelled,finallystoppingwhenshewasafootawayfromhim.“You’rejustbailing?”
Hiseyebrowswentdownastheheavyraindrenchedthetwoofthem.“Youdidn’tlooklikeyouneededmyhelp.”
“Youweretheonewhosaidyouwantedtodothis—youcalledme—yetyou’reditchingme.Again.Whatiswrongwithyou?”
“What’swrongwithme?”Hesquintedatherlikeshewasoutofhermindandsaid,“YoufailedtomentionthatyourdatetonightwaswithAlex.Whywouldyouletmemeetyouatthebarjusttowatchyouhaveafuckingloveconnection?”
“Areyoumad?”Hewastheonewhowasoutofhismind,shethought.“Atme?”
“Yes,I’mmad!”heyelled.“Ithoughtweweregoingtotalkaboutus,butinsteadyou’recanoodlingwiththatguyrightinfrontofme!”
“What‘us’?”Shepokedafingerintohischestandsaid,“Whatusisthere?Ihaven’theardfromyouinweeks,andnowyouthinkyouhavearighttosaytheword‘us’?”
“Hallie—”
“Whydidn’tyouatleasttextme?”Shehatedthetearsinhereyes.“Afterthatnight,whywouldn’tyouatleastsendmeatexttosay‘Hey’or‘Ihateyou’or‘Ramenisonsaleatthefuckingsupermarket’?Anythingwould’vefeltatleastlikesomethingbetweenus.Howcouldyoujustleavemeallalone?”
“Iwastryingtofigureoutmyfeelings,Hal.”Hepushedbackhiswethairbeforeadding,“IwantedtobesureofwhatIfeltbeforetalkingtoyouabouthowyoufelt.”
“Whatdoesthatevenmean?”
“DoyouwantAlex?”heyelleddownatherthroughtherain.
“Jack—”
“Doyou?”
“No.”Sheshookherhead,hersoakedhairslappingmorewaterinherface.“Ineverdid.”
Hegrabbedherarmandpulledherclosertothebuildingthey’dstoppedinfrontof,sotheywereunderanawning.Helookeddownatherandsaid,“Christ,Hal,thisisn’thowIwantedtotellyou.Butthethingis—IthinkI’minlovewithyou.”
Jack
Hewatchedashermouthdroppedopeninshock,andthenitsnappedshut.Shelookedupathimwiththosebiggreeneyes,butnowordscameout.
Shejuststaredathim.
“Maybesaysomething,Hal,”hesaid.
“Okay,I’llsaysomething.”Shewasshiveringalittle,butherfacewasfullofhotanger.“Thatisaterriblethingtosay,youdick.”
Herwordshithimlikeapunchinthestomach,andhetriedreadingherexpressionashesaid,“ItellyouIloveyouandyoucallmeadick?”
“Youdidn’ttellmeyouloveme,yousaidyou‘think’you’reinlovewithme.”Shewasgrittingherteeth,lookingmadashellassheshiveredinthedampnightair.“Whodoyouthinkyouare—Darcyintherain,tellingElizabeththathelovesherinspiteofherinferiorbirth?”
Hehadnocluewhattosaytothat.
“Ittookyoutwoweeksofradiosilencetocomeupwiththegeniusepiphanythatyoumaypossiblybeinlovewithmebutyoureallyaren’tahundredpercentsure?”
Fuck.Wrongwordchoice.
Shesaid,“IknewIwasinlovewithyoutheminuteyoufelloutofthestupidclosetattherehearsaldinner.Itdidn’ttakemeafuckingfortnighttogetto‘possibly.’?”
Hopeshotthroughhim,evenasheopenedhismouthtodefendhimself.Ifshe’dbeeninlovewithhimattherehearsaldinner,shehadtostillhavefeelingsforhim,right?Andwhythehellhadn’tshesaidanythingthatnight?Hesaid,“IfI’mDarcyintherain,thenyou’reMr.Smith,toostubborntohearwhatI’mtryingtotellyouasyourambleonaboutthewayIwordedmyfeelings.”
Shesquintedathim.“WhointhehellisMr.Smith?”
“Boiledfuckingpotatoesareanexemplaryvegetable—thatisMr.Smith!”
“Wait.”Hermouthformedabig,gapingO.“AreyoucallingmeMr.Collins?”
Henoddedandsaid,“I’mtryingtotellyousomething,butyou’retoocaughtupinyourownthoughtsandopinionsabouteverythingtohearmywords,Mr.Collins.”
Jackcouldn’tbelievehewascommunicatinginHallie’sbizarrolanguage,buttheyweretalking,andshewasfinallylistening,sohewasgoingtorollwithit
Hallie
Hallie’smindracedasshelistenedtohiminsultherinthemostwonderfulway.Shestillfelthotandangry,butshealsofeltlikesomethingwashappening.
Hesaid,“Forgivemefornotwantingtoputalabelonmyfeelings,butIdon’tknowshitaboutlove,okay?AllIknowisthatyou’veruinedeverysinglethingaboutmylife.”
Shescoffed.“Ihave?”
“Yes.”Heswallowedandsaid,“Ican’tdrivebyaBurgerKingwithoutthinkingoffrenchfriesinbed;Ican’thearaBritishpersonspeakwithoutrememberingyourfuckingawfulaccent;Ican’tseeadiamondadwithoutpicturingyourstupidgrinningfaceattheBorsheim’scounter;andIcan’thearmyphonebuzzwithoutwishingitwouldbesomeasininetextfromyou.”
“Jack.”Shefeltalittlelight-headed.Itwasn’taromanticconfessionofundyinglove,butitwaseverythingshe’deverwanted.
Hesaid,“Everythinginmylifewasfinebefore,butnowit’ssodifferentandIhateit.”
“Ihateit,too,”shesaid,steppingjustatinybitcloser.
Heranhisthumboverherwetcheek.“I’msosorryIhaven’tcalledyou.”
Sheshivered.“Me,too.”
“IknowI’vescrewedeverythingup,Hal,”hesaidashepushedherwethairoffherforehead.“ButImissyousomuchIcanhardlybreathe.”
“Me,too,”sherepeated.
“AndIknowIdidn’tsayittherightway,butIamsoinlovewithyou.Andnotjustinlovewithyou,bytheway.Ialsolikeyoumorethananyoneelseintheworld.You’refunnyandsmartandbeautiful,andwheneveranythinghappenstome,funny,awful,orwonderful,you’rethefirstpersonIwanttotell.”
Shelaughedashereyesfilledwithtearsagain.“Oh,myGod,didour‘its’getswitched?”
Hisfacecamecloser,hiseyesseemingtogetbrighterashe,too,rememberedtheirconversationaboutwhatthey’dbeenlookingforinapartner.Hesaid,“Well,thatwouldmeanthatyoufeellikeIcompleteyou.”
Shewasn’tgoingtosayit,butsheraisedherchin.Shelookedintohisdarkblueeyesandsaid,“Yeah,itwould.”
Hemadeanoisethatwassomewherebetweenanexhale,alaugh,andagroanbeforehesoftlyplacedhisfingersunderherchin,raisingherheadasheloweredhis.Itfeltlikecominghomewhenhislipswereonhersandshewasbreathinghisbreath.
Itturnedhotfast—teeth,tongues,andwild,seekingmouths—andHalliewasdownforallofitastheraincontinuedtopouraroundthem.Sheraisedherarmstohisshouldersandshepressedherrain-soakedselfagainsthim,needingtobecloser.ShewaslostineverylittlebitofJackMarshall.Hepulledbackslightly,lookeddownather,andsaid,“There’sagreatlittletacoplacedownthestreet.Doyouwanttogrababiteandtalk?”
Shenodded.“I’dlikethat.”
HepointedtotheUrbanOutfittersacrossthestreet.“CanIbuyyouadryoutfitfirst?”
“Thatwouldbelovely.”Halliegrinnedashegrabbedherhand,andtheysteppedbackoutintotherainandstartedwalkinginthatdirection.Sheyelledovertherain,“Thankyou.”
“Anytime,”hereplied,alsoyellingoverthedownpour.
“I’mbuyingadryoutfitforyou,too,”Halliesaid,“andyouhavetowearwhateverIchoose,okay?”
Hedidn’tanswerastheysprintedacrossthestreet,andsheassumedhehadn’theardheroverthedeluge.ButassoonashethrewopenthedoortoUrbanOutfittersandtheybothgotinside,hepulledhertoastop.Hismouthslidintohiswide,full-throttlesmileastheybothpushedbacktheirhairandwipedtheirdrippingfaces,andHalliefeltherselfwarmingfromtheinsideoutwhenhesaid,“HalliePiper,Iamyours.Dressmehoweveryouseefit.”
Jack
“Idon’tthinkyoucanbemadatmeeveragain.”JacktookasipofhisbeerandgavetheTacoHutwaitressapolitesmile.Shewaslookingathimandopenlylaughingasshesetdowntheirfood.“IthinkI’veearnedyoureternalforgiveness.”
Hallieshookherheadseriously,buthereyesweredancingwhenshesaid,“Youthinkjustbecauseyou’rewearingthat,we’resquare?”
Hestood,justsoshecouldlookagainatwhatshe’ddone.Animal-printworkoutpants,croptop,fuchsiapashmina,yellowChuckTaylors,andaredfedorawithapatchthatsaidEATME.Hedidaspinandhelduphishands,waitingforananswer,andHalliestartedlaughingagain.
“Ican’tbelieveyouworeit.”
“OfcourseIworeit,”hesaid,sittingbackdownandgivingheralook.Heseriouslywoulddresslikethateverydayifitmeanthecouldhaveher.“Iloveyou.”
Sherolledhereyesandteased,“Areyousure,though?Maybeyoujustthinkyouloveme.”
Ashardasithadbeenforhimtogethisheadaroundhisfeelings,everything—justlikethat—hadbecomecrystalclear.Maybeitwasherabsenceinhislifeforthepastcoupleofweeks,buthesuspecteditwascommonsensekickinginafterbeinglateasfucktotheparty.
“Listen,TinyBartender.”Hegrabbedtheplateofnachosandsliditinfrontofher,becausetheybothknewshelovedselectingthefirstchip.“Youhavebewitchedmebodyandsoul,andIloveyouthreetimes.Pleasetellmemyhandsarecoldsowecangetonwithourlivesalready.”
Shepickedachipthatwasdeadcenter,coveredinbeefandcheese.Asshecarefullyliftedit,tryingnottoloseanyoftheredonions(butshealwaysdid),shesaid,“ButwhatifIonlythinkyourhandsarecold,Jack?Imean,howcanIbesure?”
“You’renevergoingtoletthisgo,areyou?”heasked,lovingherstupidgrinasshelordedhisscrewupoverhim.
Sheshookherhead,andhergrinturnedsofter.Lessteasing,moresweet.“I’mgoingtobebringingthisupforalong,longtime.”
Therewasapromiseinherwords,andJackfeltliketheluckiestguyintheworld.
Sohepulledouthisphone.
Jack:I’monadate,andIthinkshe’sTheOne.IsitbadformtorushherthroughdinnerbecauseI’mdyingtogetherinthesack?
Hewatchedherpullherphoneoutofherpocket,readthemessage,andsmile.
Shetextedquickly.
Hallie:Seriously,dipshit,“inthesack”isawful
Wasitweirdthathekindofwantedtocrywithhappiness?
Herespondedwith:Howabout“I’mdyingtodothedeedwithher”?
Hallie:Ifeellikethatimpliesyouwanthertohelpyoumurdersomeone.
Jack:I’vegotit.I’mdyingtoengagewithherinthephysicalactoflove.
“PutthephonedownbeforeIpuke,”Halliesaid,settingherphoneonthetableandlaughingasshetookabiteofherchip.“Iknowyourdate,andshe’sall-inforgettingrailedafterdinner.Sohurryupandeat.”
Hesetdownthephone,grabbedhisfork,andscoopedhalfoftheentirenachoplatterontohisplate.“FromyourlipstoDitka’sears.”EPILOGUEChristmasEve
“Thisisamazing!”Jack’sdadkeptstaringatthebaseball,turningitaroundinhishandsohecouldseeallthesignatures.“Ican’tbelieveyougotmethis,Jackieboy!Didyouseeit,Will?”
HallieandJacksharedagrinfromwheretheyweresittingonthefloorbytheChristmastree.Sincethey’dbothfoundeachotherontheappatthesametime,hewontheballandshewonhisairlinemiles.
“Yeah,Dad,Isawit,”Jack’sbrothersaid,mutteringJackieboyunderhisbreathlikeitwasanobscenity.
“Iknittedyouascarfwithmyownhands,”Oliviasaid,glaringatherdadfromherspotonthecouchbesideColin.“Butsure,astupidbaseballisamazing.”
“Youdon’tgetit,”Jacksaid,shakinghishead.“Youweren’tthere.”
“Becauseyoudidn’tinviteme,”Oliviasaid.
“Youhatebaseball.”
“Doesn’tmeanIwouldn’tliketobeinvited,”shesaid,rollinghereyes.“Assbags.”
“Language,Olivia,”Jack’smomsaid,lookingatHalliewithwideeyeslikeshewasshockedbywhatOliviahadsaid.“Iapologizeforher.”
“It’sokay,”Halliesaid.
“Yeah,Halcurseslikeadamnsailor,”Jackteased.
“Idonot!”
“JacksonAlan,”hismotherwarned,“knockitoff.”
Hallie’smouthdroppedopenbeforeshewhispered,“YournameisJacksonAlan?Likethecountrysinger,onlyflipped?”
“Mymotherlovescountrymusic,”hesaid,soundingembarrassed.
TheyhadChristmasEvedinnerwithhisfamily,andwhentheywerefinallyfinishedandonthewayhome,Jacksaid,“Yourpresentisinthegloveboxifyouwantit.”
“Classy,”shesaid,yankingopenthegloveboxasfastasshecould.
Shedidn’tseeanythingwrappedinholidaypaper,buttherewasamanilaenvelopewithhernameonit.Sheglancedoverathimandsaid,“Ifyou’resuingmeforsomething,Marshall,IsweartoGodIwillcutyou.”
“Openit,”hesaid.
Sheranafingerundertheseal,thenreachedinahandandpulledoutthepapers.Shestartedflippingthroughthem,onebyone,andshewasblinkingbacktearsbythetimeshefigureditout.
“You’retakingmebacktoVail?”Itlookedlikehe’dmadereservationsforthesameroomthey’dbeeninthefirsttime,onlythistimetheyweregettingtherebytrain.“Forsevennights?”
“Ten-daytriptotal.”Heglancedover,puthishandonherknee,andsaid,“ItwasthebestvacationI’veeverbeenon,exceptforthewholeterrified-of-blowing-my-cover-and-losing-my-best-friendstress.Sohowaboutwegobackwithoutalltheworryandfamilyandex-boyfriend?”
“Thisistheverybestpresentever!”shesquealed,claspingallthepaperworktoherchestwithonehandandputtingherotherhandoverhis.“Thankyou,Jack.”
That’sonlypartofthepresent,hethought,picturingtheringboxinhisclosetassheteasinglyrainedkissesoverhisfacewhilehedrove.Heknewitwasprobablytoosoon,buthealsocouldn’tstophimself.Halliewaseverythinghe’dneverknownhewanted,anditseemedunwiseforhimtodraghisfeetwhenhisforevergirlwasrightthereinfrontofhim.
“You’rewelcome,”hesaid,watchingtheneighborhoodChristmaslightsrushbyashedrove.
“YouhavetowaituntilChristmasmorning,”Halliesaid,turninguptheMichaelBublésongplayingontheradio,“foryourbestpresentever.”
Anditoccurredtohim,whenhewokeupundertheChristmastreethenextmorningwithHallie’scatsittingonhisneckandherkneeinhisback,thathealreadyhadit.ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
ThankYOU,readerofthisbook,forreadingthisbook!YouareapartofmydreamcometrueandI’mforevergrateful.Seriously.Idon’twanttosoundlikeacreep,butIloveyou,man.
ThankyoutoKimLionetti,forputtingupwithmyexclamationpoint–ladenemailsandforbeingagenuinelygreathumanwhomIadore.YouaremorethanIknewIneededinanagentandI’msoluckytohaveyou.
AngelaKim—yourtitleshouldbeSuperEditor,orperhapssomethinglikeVicePresidentofAwesomeEditing.(You’regoodenoughtobepresident,butwhowantsthatjob,right?)Iloveworkingwithyouandamthrilledthatthepartyisn’tover.
ThewholeBerkleyteam,honestly,butespeciallyBridgetO’Toole,ChelseaPascoe,andHannahEngler;thankyousomuchforworkingsodamnhard.AndNathanBurton—Iloveyourcoverssomuch.PleaseneversaynotousbecauseIwillcrybig,fattearsofsadness(andI’manuglycrier).
ThankyousomuchtoBookstagramandBookTok.Youareincrediblecreators,doingamazingworkinthenameofbooks,andwedon’tdeserveyou.SpecialthankstoHailieBarber,HaleyPham,andLarissaCambusanoforbeingespeciallykindtomylittlebabies.
AndTHEBERKLETES.Iadoreyouallsomuch,andIcan’tquitebelieveIgettocallyoumyfriends.Pleasedon’teverkickmeoutofyourclub.
Randomhumanbeingswhomakemehappy:LoriAnderjaska,AndersonRaccoonJones,Cleo,@lizwesnation,Caryn,Carla,Aliza,Chaitanya;messagesfromyoumakemydaysbrighter.Thankyouforbeingyou.
Also—myfavoriteMinnesotarelatives,theKirchners:IjustfeltlikeIshouldmentionyouherebecausewehadablastvisitingyou,weloveyou,andIswearwedidn’tmeantobringyouCOVID.
Andthefamily[Alexa,play“WeAreFamily”bySisterSledge]:
Thankyou,Mom,foreverything.Withoutyou,noneofthiswould’vehappenedforme.Iloveyoumorethanyou’lleverknow.
Dad—Imissyoueveryday.
MaryLee—youtrulyaretheNICESTpersonintheworld,theGoodSister,andIcan’twaitforournextroadtrip.
Cass,Ty,Matt,Joey,andKate—rememberthattimeIhalf-listenedtoyouwhileworkingonmylaptop?Yeah,I’msorry.Forallthosetimes.ButI’msureyougotawaywithalotwhenIwashandingout“uh-huhs”willy-nilly,sowe’regood,right?YouaremyfavoritepeopleandItelleveryonewe’rebestfriends.
Andlastly,Kevin.Idedicatedthisbooktoyou,soIfeellikeIdon’treallyhavetoaddanythingmore,doI?Imean,Ilikethewayyou’rehappiestwhenyou’rereadingbooksoutside.IlikethewayyoutellmetodrivedefensivelyandwatchoutforinattentivedriversEVERYTIMEIleavethehouse.Ilikethewayyoudon’tseemtomindthatIsuckathomemaker-ing.IthinkIlikeeverylittlethingaboutyou.Thanksforbeingcool.PhotobyJacksonOkun
LYNNPAINTERlivesinOmaha,Nebraska,withherhusbandandpackofwildkids.SheisacommunitycolumnistfortheOmahaWorld-Herald,aswellasaregularbloggerfortheirparentingsection.Whensheisn’treadingorwriting,shecanbefoundeatingherfeelingsandshotgunningcansofRedBull.
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