ToLoveJasonThorn
by
EllaMaise
Copyright
Copyright?2015byEllaMaise
Allrightsreserved.
Editor:EditingbyC.Marie
CoverDesign:EllaMaise
Permission
fromthisauthormustbegrantedbeforeanypartofthisbookcanbeusedfor
advertisingpurposes.Thisincludestherighttoreproduce,distribute,or
transmitinanyformorbyanymeans.
This
bookisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentsareeither
productsoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously.Anyresemblance
toactualevents,locales,orpersons,livingordead,isentirely
coincidental.
This
bookislicensedforyourpersonalenjoymentonly.Thisbookmaynotberesold
orgivenawaytootherpeople.Ifyouarereadingthisbookanddidnot
purchaseit,oritwasnotpurchasedforyouruseonly,thenyoushouldreturn
ittothesellerandpurchaseyourowncopy.Thankyouforrespectingthe
author’swork.
Disclaimer
Usually
whenabookisoptionedforthemovierights,itcantakeyearstogettothe
productionprocess—somanyhoopstojumpthrough.However,inthisbook,I
didn’twanttomakeyouwaitforayear—orquitepossiblylonger—forthefilming
tobegin,whichiswhyyou’llseethatitwasafairlyquickprocess.Or
maybe…justmaybeOlive’sbookwasjustthatawesome…
TableofContents
Disclaimer
Dedication
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven
ChapterTwelve
ChapterThirteen
ChapterFourteen
ChapterFifteen
ChapterSixteen
ChapterSeventeen
ChapterEighteen
ChapterNineteen
ChapterTwenty
ChapterTwenty-One
ChapterTwenty-Two
ChapterTwenty-Three
ChapterTwenty-Four
ChapterTwenty-Five
ChapterTwenty-Six
ChapterTwenty-Seven
ChapterTwenty-Eight
ChapterTwenty-Nine
ChapterThirty
ChapterThirty-One
ChapterThirty-Two
ChapterThirty-Three
Epilogue
BooksbyEllaMaise
AbouttheAuthor
Acknowledgements
This
bookisforeveryonewhooncelovedaboyandfeltthosebutterfliesoverwhelm
theminthebestpossibleway.
And,well,iftheboydidn’tloveyouback,shameonhim!Whata
jerk.
ChapterOneOlive
UptothedayImetJasonThorn,mydreams
weremadeoffluffywhiteclouds,prettypinkdresses,tastyapplepies,andof
course,ourneighborKara’sbigbrother.
“Idon’twanttohearanotherwordabout
this,Jason.Youarealwayswelcometostayhere,sweetheart.”
Iwasabouttogodowntohelpmymomset
thetablewhentheirvoicescarrieduptomeandIstopped.
“See,Itoldyouitwouldbeokay.Comeon,
let’sgouptomyroom.”
“Holdon,Dylan.Notsofast.”
Iheardmom’scoffeecupsoftlyclinkon
thekitchencounterafewsecondsbeforeIheardherspeakagain.
“Jason,areyousureyoudon’twantusto
callanyone?Maybetheyshouldcheckonyourmomandmakesureeverythingis
okay,orwecancallyourfatherandlethimknowthatyouarespendingthe
nightwithus.Ibethewouldbeworriedifhecalledyourhouseandcouldn’t
reacheitheroneofyou.”
Mymomwasasoft,compassionatewoman—soft
asinshecarriedaheartthatwaspurelymadeofshinyliquidgold.I’dheard
mygrandpatellhersocountlesstimesforputtingupwithmyfather,soasa
childIknewithadtobetrue.Therewasalsoasideofherthatcouldbeseen
asviciousattimes,asshewasfiercelyprotectiveoftheonesshecountedas
herfamily.
Otherthanthat,shewasasweetheart,as
myfatherlikedtocallher.Shehadthissecretwayofmakinganyonesmile,
evenwhentheyweresadaboutsomething.Iknewthatbecauseshealwaysmademe
laughwhenwewereatthedentist,whichwasabigscaryplaceforasix-year-old
(almostseven!).Ifshewasintheroom,chanceswereshe’dhaveyoubeamingup
atherinnotime.
Itwasn’tjustmeandmybrother;shehad
thesameeffectonmyfriendstoo.Wheneveritwasherturntopickusupfrom
school,theyalllookedupatherwiththesebig,sillysmilesstretchedacross
theirfaces.Actually,nowthatIthinkaboutit,theyremindedmeofBuzz,the
puppyKarahadgottenafewweeksbefore.Oh,howmuchIlovedwatchingKara’s
brotherNoahplaywiththatpuppy;I’dalwaysthoughtwecouldbuyafewpuppies
forourselvesafterheaskedmetomarryhim.
Sigh…
Anyway,Ihadn’tbeenallowedtohavethe
puppyinthehouse,andofcourseIwouldnevereversneakhiminwhenevermy
momwasout—sshh,don’ttellanyone—butIdidseethefacesthelittle
guymadewhenhewantedsomethingfromKara.
Allinall,backthen,Ibelieveditwas
toughtobeakid,buthavingamomlikeminemadeeverythingabiteasier.
That’swhyI’dalwayswantedtobelikeher.I’dwantedtomakepeoplehappy,
makethemforgetabouttheirworriesforawhile,betheirsunshine,asshewas
ours.
Therehadbeenonlyoneteeny-tinyissue…the
blaringfactthatIdidn’thaveagoldenheartbecauseIwasnevergoodat
beingpeacefulorgraceful,wheremymom,ontheotherhand,wastheepitomeof
thosetraits.
Itwasn’tmyfaultthough;itwasalways
Dylanwhomademeangry.Ifblameweretobeassigned,itwouldfallsquarely
onDylan’sshoulders,notmine.
Dylanwasmybigbrother,theonewhokept
ruiningeverythingforme,probablysincethedayIwasborn.Unfortunately,I
didn’trememberthoseearlyyearsofmyexistence,butIwasprettysurethathe’d
beenmessingwithmebackthen,too.Accordingtomymomanddad,afewdays
aftertheybroughtmehomefromthehospital,hetoldthemtheyshouldtakeme
backtowherethey’dfoundme—nexttothegarbagecans.
Canyoubelievetheaudacity?Mylovingbig
brother.
Itdidn’tevenendwithacleverlyveiled
threateither.Irememberedmyselfthathewouldstealmystrollerandrun
aroundwithmeinthepark.Why,hewasprobablytryingtokillmewithsheer
excitement!
Atanearlyage,I’dcometotheconclusion
thatIwouldgettohavemyowngoldenheartwhenDylanwouldn’tbearoundto
throwmeoffofmygame.Wheneverhewasaround,chanceswerehe’ddosomething
andI’dlosemycool,whichwouldleadtousgettingintoascreamingmatch.
Therewasnothinggracefulaboutscreaming
yourlittleheartoutatsomeonebecausetheywouldn’tplayMyLittlePonywith
you.
Jason’scarefullychosenwordsbroughtme
backtothepresentwhereIwasplasteredtothewalljusttotheleftofthe
staircase,listeninginonthem.
“Thankyou,Mrs.Taylor,butIdon’tthink
myfathercaresaboutwhereI’mspendingthenight.And…um…mymomwillprobably
beokayinthemorning.I’msureshejustfellasleep.It’smyfaultreally;I
should’vecheckedthetimeandmadesureIwashomebeforesix.”
“Wewereplayingcatchonthestreet,
Jason.Like,rightinfrontofyourhouse.Idon’tthinkyouaretheonetoblame
here.Andwhogoestosleepatsix,Mom?EvenOlivestaysuplaterthanthat.”
“Dylan,”mymomsaidinalowvoicebefore
sighing.
Igrinned,feelingproud.Icouldstayup
prettylate.SometimesIcouldevengountilnine.
Therewascompletesilenceforafew
moments,andthenthefeetofthechairscrapedthefloorassomeonegotup
fromthetable.
“Okay,Jason.”Iheardmom’sstrainedvoice
breakingthethicksilence.WhowasthisboytheykeptcallingJason?Maybehe
waspartofthefamilythathadmovedinacrossthestreetafewhousesdowna
fewdaysago?
HowcomeDylanhadn’tintroducedmetohis
newfriend?
“Youarealwayswelcomeinthishouse.I
wantyoutorememberthat,okay?”
“ThankyouMrs.Taylor.Iappreciateit.”
“Whydon’tyougoandgetcleanedupwhile
Igetdinnerready?Afterdinnerwe’llcallyourdadandmakesureheknowsyou
aresafe.”
“That’snotreallynecess—”
“Let’ssayit’sformyownpeaceofmind.”
“Comeon,Jason.”Iheardmybrothermurmur.
“I’llshowyouthenewvideogamemydadboughtme.”
Oh,aboutthat…I’dalwaysthoughtitwas
quiterudeofhimtohoardallthetoys.Heneverletmeplaywithhim.
Iturnedonmyheelsandwasabouttorun
backtomyroomtocheckoutwhothenewboywasthroughthesmallopeningof
mydoorwhenmymomsaid,“Dylan,canyoustayandhelpmesetthetablefirst?
ThenyoucanjoinJasonupstairsuntilIcallyouguysdownfordinner.”
“Sure,Mom,”mybrotheransweredreadily.
“Thebathroomistheseconddoortotheleft,Jason.Myroomisnexttoit.
I’llberightup.”
“IsthereanythingIcanhelpwith,Mrs.
Taylor?Iwouldn’tmind.”
“Oh,youaretoosweet,Jason.Howabout
youbeourguestfortonight,andanytimeyoucomebyaftertoday,you’llgive
meahand,too,okay?AndyoucallmeEmilyfromnowon.”
“Okay,Mrs.Tay—umm…Emily.Thankyouso
muchforlettingmestayheretonight.I’llbeinyourroom,then,Dylan.”His
footstepsstartedupthestairs
Istoodstillandpatientlywaitedforthe
ownerofthosefootstepstoreachme.SinceDylanwasn’twithhim,Icouldsay
hiandwelcomehimtoourneighborhoodwithoutgettingintotrouble.
ArghDylan…Justbecausehewasfouryears
olderdidn’tmakehimthebossofme.
Wouldhebeblond?Maybehewouldhavedark
eyesanddarkhairandbealldreamy,exactlylikeKara’sbigbrother,Noah,
whohadturnedeighteenjustafewweeksbefore.Mymomthoughthewasalittle
toooldforme,butshehadalsooncesaidagirlshouldalwaysdreambig.
WhileIlovedmymomdearly,clearlyshewasn’trightallthetime.
Anyway,sincethisJasonseemedtobe
friendswithDylan,Ihighlydoubtedhewouldbesomethingtodreamabout.
Suddenlymystomachgotallflutteryfor
somereason.Ifrownedandsmootheddownmydress.Dylan’sfriendornot,he
wouldbeaguestinourhouseandIthoughtIshouldbewelcomingsincehe
soundedverystressedoutaboutstayingwithus.
Tommy,oneofmybestfriendsfromschool,
believedthatwewouldgetmarriedoneday,butI’dneversaidyestohim.I’d
neverevengottenexcitedwheneverwewereonplaydates.
First,IsawJason’ssneakers.Istill
remember:theywerewhiteandverycleanforaboyhisage.Ithoughtmaybehe
wouldn’tbethatbadandmakefunofmelikeDylan’sotherfriends.
Puttingonmybestsmile,Islowlylifted
myheaduptomeethiseyes.Hisstepsfalteredwhenhesawmehidingnextto
thewall.Igotagoodlookathimandmysmileslowlyvanishedasmymouth
droppedopen.
Jason?Jasonwhat?
Butterflies?Werethosetinyfluttersinmy
stomachbutterflies?Theonesmymomhadtoldmeabout?Itsurefeltlikeit.
Thousandsofthem.Werethesethesamebutterfliesmymomhadfeltwhenshe’d
metmyfather?
Whatwashislastname?
Iwanted—noscratchthat,Ineeded
hislastnametobemylastname.
Notthedayafter,nottenyearsortwenty
yearslater.Ineededittohappenthatday—rightatthatmomenttobeexact.
Heseemedsurprisedtoseemeforasecond,
butrecoveredfasterthanIdid.Hegavemeastupidlycutesmilewithadimple
showingonhisleftcheek.
“Youhaveadimple,”Ibreathedout,
totallylostinthattinylittlecrevice.Itwasalmostmagical.
Iclosedmymouthandfelttheheatrise
uptomycheeks.Imanagedtoreturnhissmilewithawobblyone.
“Hey,littleone.YoumustbeDylan’s
littlesister.I’mJason.”
“Hi,”IgreetedsheepishlyasIgavehima
smallwave.
Hissmilepickedupanotch,andIfeltmy
faceflushagain.Tuckingaloosehairbehindmyear,Ismiledbigger.
Oh,boy
Hewassocute.
Iclearedmythroatandextendedmyhand,
justlikeIsawmydaddowhenhewasmeetingsomeonenew.“I’mOlive.Myfriends
callmeLivorOlibecausetheythinkIhaveaweirdname.”
Quirkinghisbrow,helookedatmyhand
thenuptomyeyesashegaveitagoodshake.“Dotheynow?”heasked,andI
noddedenthusiastically,hidingmyhandbehindmybackagain.“Ithinkyouhave
agoodname,littleOlive.ItwouldbehardforsomeonetoforgetanamelikeOlive.
Youhaveverybeautifulgreeneyes;I’dsaythenamesuitsyou.”
Beautiful?
Beautiful?!
Iwasnevergoingtowashmyhandagain.
Mysmilegotbigger,andIbelieveitwas
thefirstmomentIfellinlovewiththemysteriousboywhohadanadorable
dimpleandwasgoingtospendthenightrightacrossfrommyroom.
“Areyouournewneighbor?”Iasked.Hehad
tobeournewneighbor.Ihadtoseehimagain.
“Yes,wemovedinlastweek.”
Inodded.Thatwasgoodnews—moretimefor
ustobetogether.
“Sinceyoulikemyname,wouldyouliketo
marryme?”Iasked.
Hisfaceturnedredandheopenedand
closedhismouthafewtimes.
Finallyhelaughedandsaid,“What?”
Ishrugged.“Mydaddoesn’twantmetoget
marriedforatleastanotherthirtyyears,butIdon’tthinkweshouldwait
thatlong.So,canwegetmarriedsooner?”
Hescratchedhisheadandevenmadethat
lookcute.“Ithinkwearetooyoungtogetmarried,littleone.”
Crushed,Ilookeddownatmyfeet.“Mydad
saysthat,too.I’vealwaysthoughtIwouldmarryNoah,ourneighbor,butmy
dadisprettysetagainstthat.Evenmymomthinksheistoooldforme.I
thinkIcanwaitforyoutogetolder,though.”Inoddedtomyself.“Makesure
youwaitformetoo.Okay.I’mgonnagodownandhelpmomwithdinner.Dylan
alwaysscrewsitup.Youknow,”Istarted,clutchingmyhandsbehindmybackas
myeyesfelltohisshoes.“Ihelpedherbaketheapplepieandthevanilla
sauceearlier.I’llmakesureyou’llgetthebiggestslice.You’llloveit,and
I’llgiveittoyoufirst.”
Iknewguyscaredaboutfoodbecausemydad
hadalwaysappreciatedagoodhome-cookedmeal.Mylittlehearthadfallenin
loveforthefirsttimeandIwashopingJasonwouldfallforme,too,afterhe
tastedthepie.
Hechuckledandtouchedhisfingertomychin.
Surprisedatthecontact,myheadflewup,myeyeshuge.WhenIsawhissmiling
face,IhadtobitedownonmylipsoIwouldn’tgrinlikealittlegirl,which
wouldsurelybeadeadgiveawaythatIwasinlovewithhim.
“Thankyou,littleone.I’msureit’sdelicious
ifyouhadahandinit.Ibetterletyougothen.I’lllookforwardtoseeing
youatdinner.”
Passingbyme,hetuggedapieceofmy
hair,hissmilestillgoingstrongonhislipsasheheadedforthebathroom.
IfidgetedwithmyhandssoIwouldn’twave
himagoodbyeandsighlikemyfriendAmandadidwhenevershesawDylan.
Inside,Iwasdancingontheclouds.
Hehadtouchedmyhair.
Hehadtouchedmychinandlookedintomy
eyes.
Jason.
Ourone-dimplednewneighbor.Had.Touched.
Me.
Ah…
Iwasprettysurehe’dfalleninlovewith
me,too.Imeanwhyelsewouldhesmile,lookintomyeyes,andtouchme,ifhe
hadn’t?
Right?
Right?!
ChapterTwoOlive
Sevenyearslater…
“Thankyouforlettingmehaveyourphone,
Amanda,”IwhisperedasIwashidinginmycloset.
“Whyarewewhispering?”
“SoDylanandJasoncan’thearme.”
“Areyousureyouwanttodothis?Imean,
comeonOlive,whatifherealizesit’syoutextinghim?”
“ButIdowanthimtorealizeit’sme.”I
thoughtaboutthatforasecond,andthenchangedmymind.“Well,okay,maybe
notatfirst,buteventually.”
Amandasighedontheotherendoftheline.
“I’mnotsosurethisisagoodidea,Liv.WhatifhetellsDylan?”Shegasped.
“Whatiftheyrecognizethenumberandthinkit’sme?”
“Oh,stopit.Howcouldtheypossibly
recognizeyourcousin’snumber?Ifyoudon’topenyourmouth,noonewillknow.
Andit’sjustfortonight.Iwon’ttexthimagain.Myparentsaregone,heis
stayingover,it’stheperfecttiming.”
“Olive!”Mybrotherbangedonmydoor.“The
pizzaishere,comedownifyoudon’twanttofindanemptybox.”
“Breakthedoordown,whydon’tyou,”I
mutteredtomyself.Openingthedoorofmylittlecloset,Iyelledback,“I’m
coming!”
“Okay,I’mheadingdownstairs.Whattimeis
it?”IaskedAmanda,gettingupfromthefloor.
“Nine.Whenwillyoutexthim?Youhaveto
letmeknowwhatheissaying.”
“Ican’ttextyouwhileI’mtextinghim.
I’llbetooexcited.I’llcallyoutomorrowtoletyouknowhowitwent.”
“Nope,I’mcomingforbreakfastthen,who
knowswhenyou’llcallme.Plus,Ineedtogetthephonebacktomycousin.
Theyareleavingtomorrowafternoon.”
“Fine,thenI’llseeyoutomorrow.Wishme
luck.”
Throwingthephoneonmybed,Itookadeep
breathandlookedatmyselfinthemirror.Mystrawberryblondehairwas
fallingdownonmyshouldersinsoftwaves,myeyesweresparkling,andmyface
wasflushedwithexcitementoverthepossibilityofwhatmighthappenlater
thatnight.
Ilookeddownatmyshakyhandsandlaughed
atmyself.
AllIwantedforthatnightwastotext
JasonandtalktohimasifIwassomeoneelse,likeanadmirer.Yousee,I’d
haditallplannedfordays.Iwasgoingtotexthim,ofcoursekeepingmy
identityasecret,preferablywhenDylanwasnotbyhisside,andthensimply
talktohim.MaybeIcouldaskhimwhohewouldwanthisadmirertobe…Wouldn’t
itbesomethingelseifhesaidme?
Sofartheplanwasworkingsmoothly.
Dependingonhowtherestofthenightwent,Iwouldmakemymoveaccordingly.
“Olive!”mybrotherthunderedfrom
downstairs.
Closingmyeyes,Itookadeeprefreshing
breath,hidthephoneundermypillow,andwalkedoutofmyroom.
“Whatareyouyellingfor?IsaidIwas
coming,”IsaidwhenIspottedDylansittingaloneinfrontoftheTV.
“Pourthedrinksandbringoutthepizza,”
heanswered,notevenlookingatme.
“Whycan’tyougetupanddoityourself?”
Ishotback.
“Justgetonwithitalready.I’maboutto
startthemovie.”
Iopenedmymouthto—
“HilittleOlive,”someonewhisperedright
nexttomyear,causingmetojump.
“Jason,”Iwhisperedback,myhandsjumping
tomychesttokeepmyheartinplace.“Youscaredme.”
Hechuckled,showingmethedimple.“I
know.”
Ilaughedback,myeyesshiningwithlove
fortheboyI’dknownforsevenyearsnow.
Tuggingatapieceofmyhair,hewinked
andwalkedpastmewithacoldwaterbottleinhishand.HepushedoverDylan
andsatrightnexttohim.
EyeingthesmallseatnexttoJason,I
asked,“Doyouwantanythingotherthanwater?”
Turninghishead,hesmiledatme.“Thank
you,beautiful.I’mgood.”
Imeltedintoasmall,veryhappypuddleon
mymother’sfavoritecarpet.
“Stopflirtingwithmysister,you
shithead,”Dylanmuttered,butIwastoooccupiedwithmydreamstotellDylan
toshush—notthathewouldlistentome
GrabbingDylan’ssodaandafewpaper
platesforthepizza,Iwentbackintothelivingroom.
“Pouryourowndrink,”Isaid,droppingthe
bottlealittletooharshlyonthecoffeetableinfrontofhim.
“Howmanyslicesdoyouwant,Jason?”I
asked,kneelingonthefloorandnotquitemeetinghiseyes.
Dylansighedandmuttered,“Herewego
again.”
Hedidn’tlikethatIalwaysgavethefirst
sliceofpizza—orcake,orpie,oranytypeoffoodactually—toJason
Puttinghiswaterbottledown,Jason
reachedouttohelpmeup.“Youarenotsittingonthefloor.”Hepulledmeup
tothecouch.“I’llhandlethepizza.”
Ploppingdownnexttohim,Ilethimdivvy
uptheslicesbetweenthethreeofus.
“Twoslicesgood?”heasked,givingmethe
firstshare.
Bestillmyheart.
“Yes,thankyou.”
Whenheleanedbackandshotmeanother
quickwink,IforgotallaboutmypizzaandreveledinthefactthatIwas
abouttospendtwohourssittingrightnexttoJasonwatchingamovie.Itwas
theperfectnighttotexthim.
“Whatarewewatching?”Iasked,takinga
smallbitefromthehugeslice.
“Nothingyou’llenjoy.Wearealready
spendingourFridaynightbabysittingyourasssoyoudon’thaveasayinthe
moviechoices.”
“Don’tbeanasshole,Dylan,”Jasonmurmured
withhismouthfull.
“Soyou’resayingyouprefertostayin
tonightinsteadofgoingoutwiththegirls?”
Asmyeyesfilledwithtearsof
embarrassmentandsomethingelseIcouldn’tname,Iputmyplatedownand
attemptedtogetup,onlytobepulledbackbyJason.
“Children,”hesaidinatonesimilartomy
dad’s.Hiswarmhandwasstillclosedovermywrist,keepingmeseated—ormore
likeparalyzed.“IpromisedEmilyIwouldbabysitbothofyoujustincaseyou
decidedtodaywasthedaytokilleachother.So,cutthecrapandstartthe
moviealready.Thegirlsaren’tgoinganywhere,Dylan.”
Stillembarrassed,Iclearedmythroatto
gettheirattention.“Youguysdon’thavetostayinforme.I’llbeokay,
Dylan.YouknowIdon’tmindstayingalone.”
Lookingatmymiserableface,Dylanfinally
shookhisheadandreachedforhisplate.“Nah,it’sokay.Jasonisright;the
girlsaren’tgoinganywhereandwe’vewantedtowatchthisforweeks,nowisas
goodatimeasany.”
Themoviestartedandtheybothsettled
backasallmyexcitementforthenightslowlytrickledoutofme.
WhenDylanjumpedupandsaid,“I’llget
thelights,”Iwasstillplayingwiththepaperplateinmylap.
Couldhehaveagirlfriend?
Iwassurehedidn’thaveone.Neitherdid
Dylanactually,notsincehe’dbrokenupwithhison-again,off-again
girlfriendVicky.
“Don’tworry,littleone,it’snotahorror
movieoranything.It’saction,you’lllikeit,”Jasonwhisperedintomyear
beforeDylantookhisseatagain.
Hearinghimusethepetnamehe’dalways
likedtocallme,ImanagedtoputasinceresmileonmyfacewhenIlookedup
athim.
“Thankyou.Youguyscanleaveafterthe
movie,youknow.Iwon’ttellMomandDadwhentheycomebacktomorrow.”
“Areyoukidding?Iwaslookingforwardto
aquietnightin.Pizzaandamoviewithabeautifulgreen-eyedgirlbymy
side?”Hegavemealightshovewithhisshoulder.“Yourbrotheristhestupid
one,notme.”
Dylanturnedoffthelightsandhoppedback
ontohisseat.LuckilythistimeIwasmeltingintoanotherpuddleonmy
mother’snot-so-favoritecouch.Istayedthatwayuntiltheendofthemovie
becauseJason’sshoulderstayedplasteredtominetheentiretime.
Abouttodiefromsensoryoverload,Istill
hadastupidsmileonmyfaceasIheadedtomyroomforthenight.
Letthetextingbegin…
***
Around1:30AM,huddledundermycovers,I
listenedtoDylan’sbedroomdooropenandcloseforthesecondtime.TheTVin
hisbedroomwason,buttheirvoiceswerelow.Eithertheydidn’twanttowake
meuportheywereabouttogotosleep,thoughIhighlydoubtedthatwasthe
case.
Reachingforthephoneundermypillow,I
triedtogetahandleonmybreathinganderraticheartbeats.
AsmuchasIwasdyingtotextJason,Iwas
alsoscaredoutofmymind.
Myfingersascoldasice,Iquicklysent
thefirsttextofthenight.
Me:HiJason.
Original,Iknow.
IwaitedtoseeifIwouldhearhisphone
gooff,butIcouldn’thearanything.Myheartinmythroat,Isatupinbed
anddroppedmyheadbackontheheadboard.MaybeAmandawasright.Maybe,this
wasn’tthebestideaI’devercomeupwith…
Jason:Whoisthis?
Theremighthavebeenasqueakthatescaped
frommymouthwhenthephonelitupinmyhandwithoutasound.Inthedarkness
ofmyroom,anunexplainablerushgoingthroughmybody,Istartedtalkingto
Jasonasastranger.
Me:Idon’tthinkyou’dknowevenifIsaid
myname.
Jason:Wecan’tknowifyoudon’ttryme.
Me:MynameisMichelle.Wegotothesameschool.
Jason:Hmm…You’reright.Idon’tthinkI
knowaMichelle.
Me:Can’texactlysayI’msurprised
Jason:Andwhywouldthatbe,mynewfriend
Michelle?
Alreadylostinadifferentworld,my
fingersstoppedflyingoverthebuttonswhenIheardDylan’sdooropenand
closequietly.NotknowingwhetheritwasmybrotherorJason,Ihidthephone
underthecoverssothelightwouldn’tdrawattention.
Me:Therearealwayssomanypeoplearound
you.Doesn’tgivemanyopportunitiesfornewpeopletointroducethemselves,I
guess.Butthenagain,maybeyoualreadyknowme.
Jason:That’sinteresting.Ourfriendshipis
sonew,MichellewhoisnotreallyMichelle,andyou’realreadylyingtome?
Me:Iwouldn’tsayit’slying.Let’ssayI’m
oneofyourmanyadmirersandalittleshyoneatthat.Justwantedtotalkto
you.
Jason:Let’splayyourgame.Whatwouldyou
liketotalkabout?
Me:Ihavenoidea.Maybeyoucanstartwith
whereyouareandwhatyouaredoing?
Jason:Easyenough.AsI’malreadysureyou
arenotaMichelle,youmustalreadyknowmyfriendDylan,I’moverhisplace.
Me:IknowofhimandIknowthatyouare
closefriends,that’saboutit.
Jason:Wouldyoulikemetointroduceyou
two?It’llbelikeasecondintroductionforus,too.
Me:Notnecessary.
Jason:Asyouwish,newshyfriend.What
elsewouldyouliketotalkabout?
Me:DoyouhaveanyguessesastowhoIcould
be?
Jason:Oh,anothergame.Yousurearefull
ofgamestonight,mysterygirl.
Me:It’snotexactlyagameforme.
Fiveminutespassedbutnotextscamein.When
ithittheten-minutemark,Igotanxious,worryingifhealreadyknewwhoI
wasandhadputastopit.Gettingupfrommybed,Istartedpacingmysmall
bedroom.Whenthespacewasn’tenough,Isneakedoutofmyroomandquietlywent
downstairstogrababottleofwateranddistractmyselfwithsomethingelse.
Paddingintothekitcheninatanktopand
pajamabottoms,IstoppedshortwhenIfoundJasonstaringoutthesmallwindow
overthesink.
“Jason?”Iwhispered.
Turningtome,hewhisperedback,“Hey,
littleone.”Hischocolateeyeslookedtiredforhisyoungage.“Whatareyou
doingupsolate?”
Spyinghisphoneonthekitchencounter,I
forcedmygazeaway.“Baddream,Iguess.Couldn’tgobacktosleep.”Acting
nonchalant,Iopenedthefridgeandtookoutabottleofwater.“Whatwereyou
lookingat?”
“Justatmyhouse.”
“Yourmomokay?”
“Idon’tknow,Olive.Ireallydon’tknow.”
Lettingoutadeepsigh,heabsentlyreachedforhisphoneandwalkedoverto
me.
“Youcantalktomeifsomething’sonyour
mind.”
Hestoppedrightinfrontofme,hiseyes
almostinvisibleinthedark.
“Ican?”
“Ofcourse.Iknowyouworryaboutyour
parentssometimes.Icanlistenifyouneedto.”
“You’reright,littleOlive.Idoworry
aboutthem,buttheyarethelastthingIwanttotalkabout.”
“I’msorry,”Imumbled,lookingdownatthe
floor.
“Noneedtobe.Comeandgetusifyouneed
anything,allright?Idon’tthinkwe’llgotosleepforafewhoursyet.”A
gentletugatmyhairandhewasgone.
IwaitedafewminutesbeforeIpaddedback
upstairs.
JustasIwasabouttogointomyroomand
runforthephone,Dylanpeekedoutofhisroom.
“Whatareyoudoing,Olive?”
Damnit!Didn’thehaveanythingelsetodo
otherthanmakemylifemiserable?
“Whatareyoudoing?”Iaskedback,
alittlepeevedandalittlenervous.
Hecockedhishead,hiseyebrowsknitted.
“Gobacktobed,Olive.It’slate.”
“Iwasdoingexactlythatbeforeyou
stoppedme.”Iliftedthewaterbottleinmyhandsohecouldsee.“Iwent
downstairstogetadrink,Dylan.Iwasn’tdoinganything.”
Neitheroneofusbackedup.Justbecause
hisfriendwasstayingover,Icouldn’tleavemyroomtogetadrink?
“Leaveheralone,man.”IheardJason’s
voicecomingfrombehindDylan.
“Goodnight,Dylan,”Isaidatlast,then
slippedintomyroomwithoutwaitingforananswer.Whoknewwhatwasuphis
ass…
Jumpingintomybed,Isearchedforthe
phoneundermycoversandhadasmallfreakoutwhenIcouldn’tfindit.I
relaxedwhenIrealizeditwasundermypillow.
Thesillyexcitementrushingovermeonce
again,IcheckedthemessagesonlytofindnonewtextmessagesfromJason
Settlingdown,ItoldmyselfthatIwould
onlysendoneothertextandthenmaybetrymyluckinthemorningbefore
Amandacametogetthephone.
Me:What?Noguesses?I’msurprised.
Jason:Sorry,Iwasbusy.Whichgamewerewe
playingagain?
Seeingmyfirstopening,Icouldn’thelp
myselfandjumpedonit.Wouldhementionme?
Me:Busy?Busywithwhat?Alreadyfounda
newfriend,huh?Youreallyarequick.
Jason:Youamuseme.Iwascorneredby
Dylan’ssister.Notexactlyinthearmsofanothergirl.
Notknowingmyheartwasabouttoget
brokenfortheveryfirsttime,Iswallowedthepaintheword‘cornered’had
causedandforcedmyselftotexthimback.
Me:It’salmost2AM,andyouwerewith
Dylan’ssister?Thissoundsgood.Dotellmemore.
Jason:Sheisjustalittlekid.Aclingy
onemaybe,sinceshealwaysfollowsmearound,butstillakid.Shesometimes
forgetsthat.I’mmuchmoreinterestedinwhoyouare.I’mreadytoplay.Are
youreadytobediscoveredbyme?
Ireadthetextathousandtimes,ormaybe
itwasamillion.Atearescapedfromthecornerofmyeye,andIdrewthe
coversovermyselfandlayback.
Gently,Iputthephonedownandpushedthe
coversoffofmyfacetostareatmydarkceiling.Atsomepointitbuzzedwith
twonewmessages,butIignoredthem.No,that’snottrue,Irememberreaching
forthephoneanddeletingeverythingbeforetheunexpectedwordscouldhurtme
again,butatthatpointitwasallblurryforme.Icouldn’treadthemevenif
Iwantedtotorturemyself.
Clingy?
Cornered?
Myheartbrokenintopieces,suddenlyI
couldn’tbeartoseeJasoninthemorning.Couldn’tbeartosleepintheroom
acrossfromhimagain.
Swingingmylegsdownfromthebed,I
didn’trealizeIhadkickedmyownphoneintomyclosetdoor.
Secondslater,Dylanburstintomyroom.
“Didyouhea—Olive,whathappened?”
Wipingatmytears,Ilookedupatmy
brotherandmorefreshtearssliddownmyalreadywetcheeks.
Whenhesatdownonmybedandgentlyput
hishandonmyback,Ithrewmyarmsaroundhimandhidmyfaceinhisneck.
Hisarmscamearoundme.
Warmandsafe.
Iheardfootstepsatmydoor,butIwastoo
scaredtoliftmyheadandcomefacetofacewithJason.Ididn’tthinkIwould
everbeabletolookhimintheeyeagain.
MybreathhitchingagainstDylan’sneck,I
said,“I’msorry,justabaddream.”
“It’sokay,littlesis,”Dylansaid.He
hesitated,thenadded,“I’msorry,too.”
Thenextfewdayswerepurehellforme,having
Jasonsleeprightacrosstheroomfrommine,sittingrightnexttohimatthe
dinnertable.TheworstwaswhenIlookedathimandfoundhimsmilingatme
butknewitmeantnothingatall
Maybeitneverhad.
ChapterThreeJason
ThefirstthingIsawwhenIopenedmyeyes
wasEmily’sworriedfacehoveringoverme.
“Goodmorning,”Isaid,yawningthroughthe
words.“Whattimeisit?Didwemissbreakfast?”Sittinguponthemakeshift
bedI’dmadeuseofalmosteveryotherdayforthelastsevenyears,Irubbed
myeyesandtriedtowakeup.
“Jason.Honey.”IheardEmily’sstruggle
withthosesimplewordsandbecamealertatonce.
ThenmygazefellonDylan,whowassitting
ontheedgeofhisbed,hisheadinhishands.Ilookedupandsawhisfather,
LoganTaylor—afireman,amanIrespectedmorethanmyoldman—standinginthe
doorway.Hiseyeswereashardassteel.
“What’sgoingon?”Iaskednoonein
particularassomethinguglystartedtofinditswayintome.
Emily,thewomanIlovedquitepossibly
morethanmyownmom,satdownnexttomeandgrippedmyhandinhersmall,
delicateone.Shehadburnmarksonthatarm,almostuptohershoulder,but
theyneverbotheredmeliketheysurprisinglybotheredalotofpeople,youngand
old.
“Jason,Idon’tknowhowtosaythis.”
Anotherburstofsilence.
“Cansomeonepleasesaysomething?
Dylan?What’sgoingon,man?”Stillnosound.“Okay,youguysarestartingto
scareme.”
“Logan,”Emilymurmurednexttome,her
eyesdesperatelyfocusedonherhusband.
Dylan’sfathershookhishead,droppedhis
arms,andsteppedintotheroomtositnexttoDylan,rightacrossfromme.
Whenmybestfriendliftedhishead,Isaw
hisbloodshoteyes.
Mygazewentbacktohisfather’ssteely
ones.Theywereeasiertolookat.Angerwasalwayseasiertohandlethan
emotion;Ihadlearnedthatfrommyownfamily.
“I’mready,”Isaid,keepingmyeyeson
Logan.“Pleasetellmewhat’swrong.”
Ididn’tknowit,butIwasnotactuallyready
forthewordshewouldgiveme.Nowherenearready.
“Son,”hestarted,becausethat’swhatI
wastohim.“Youcanhandlethis.”
Itwasn’taquestion,butInoddedanyway.
“Yourmotheroverdosedonhersleeping
pillslastnight.Sheisgone.”
Iblinked,once.
Inodded.
Myvoicethickandrough,Iasked,“Who
foundher?”
“Apparentlyyourfathercamebackfromhis
tripthismorning.Hecalledanambulance,butLorelaiwasalreadygone.”
“Iunderstand.Whereismyfather?”
“Heisatthehospital.Italkedtohima
fewminutesago.”
Helpless,Inoddedagain.WhatelsecouldI
do?WhatelsewasIsupposedtodo?
“Thankyou,”Isaid,givingEmily’shanda
quicksqueeze.“Thankyouforbeingtheonestotellme.”
EverysinglepersonintheroomIwas
sittinginhadbeenmoreofafamilytomethanmyowncouldeverbe.I
appreciatedthefactthatIcouldseetheconcernintheireyes,theirconcern
forme.Ineversawanythingevenclosetoitinmyownmother’seyes.Her
alcoholmeantmoretoherthanherownson.
Islowlygotup.“Ishouldgetback…home,I
guess.”
ButIhadneverhadahome,hadI?Thiswas
ahome.Thehouseacrossthestreet?Notsomuch.
DylanandLogangotupwithme,butI
lookeddownatMrs.Taylor.Hereyeswerefulloftears.Shehadthesameshade
ofgreeneyesasherdaughter,justasstrikingasOlive’s.Itwassoothingto
lookat.
Ileaneddownand,surprisingmyself,
brushedasmallkissonhercheek.
“Pleasedon’tcry,Emily.It’sokay.It’ll
beokay.”
Itsoundedmorelikeaquestiontomyears.
Sheslowlygotupandbrushedatearaway,
mytear.Iwasn’tevenawarethatIwascrying.Herwarmhandcuppedmycheek
andshestaredrightintomyeyes.“Ofcourseitwillbeokay,Jason.Youhave
us.”
Inodded.
Unexpectedly,IfoundmyselfinDylan’s
armsnext.“I’msosorry,man,”hesaid,holdingontome.IfeltEmily’shand
atmyback,asoothingcaress.Loganwasstandingnexttous,watchingoverhis
family.
Iwasfamilytothem.
I’dearnedthatplaceamongthem.
***
“Areyousureyoudon’twanttostayhere
andfinishschoolwithDylan?Icantalktoyourdadagain,”offeredLogan.
TheTaylorfamilywasoutontheirfront
lawn.EvenlittleOlivehadcomeouttosaygoodbyewithtear-filledeyes.I
smiledather.Icouldseesparklesinhereyes,sadsparklesmaybe,but
sparklesnonetheless.Shewassofulloflifeandhadthemostbeautiful,
captivatinggreeneyes.Sorichandalive.Thekindthatyoulookedatandlet
yourselfhappilydrownin.Iknewsomeidiotwasboundtobreakherheartvery
soon,butIwouldn’tbetheretoprotectherheartrightalongsideherbrother.
Iwouldn’tbewiththepeopleIconsideredmyfamily.
Instead,IwouldbeinLosAngelesliving
inanunfamiliarhousewithastrangerIcalledDadwhoIhadneverhadthe
chancetogettoknow.ForaquicksecondIwonderedifhewasblaminghimself
forherdeath.Hecertainlyhadn’tbeentherewhenhispresencecould’vemadea
difference.Maybetheendingwouldn’thavechanged,maybeafewyearsdownwe
would’vestillendedupinthesamesituation,butwewouldneverknow.Itwas
toolateforeverything.
AsforwhatIthought…Iblamedlife,and
him.Hewastheonewho’dchosentoleaveusbehindwhenhecould’vebeena
lawyerinSanFranciscojustaseasily.Hewastheonewho’dchosentoignore
mymother’squicklydeterioratingmentalhealth,ordepression,whateveryou
wantedtocallit.Andthenhe’dbeentheonewho’dignoredmewhenIsaidhis
wifewasbecominganalcoholic.
Intheend,thechoicestheyhadmadewere
changingmylife.
“Heisn’tchanginghismind.Believeme,I
tried,”Isaidfinally.
Ishrugged.Everythinghadchangedexcept
mydad’sdecision:wewereleaving.Or,moreaccurately,hewasforcing
metoleaveeverythingbehind.
Kickingatthegrassundermyfoot,I
stoppedinfrontofEmily,thekindest,mostcaringhumanbeing.Amotherwho
couldneverbetrulymine.
“Idon’tknowwhattosay,”Iadmitted,
wordsburninginmychestasmyeyescontinuedtolookdownatmysneakers.
“Jason?”
Warm,gentlehandscuppedmyfaceand
lookedintomyeyes.
“DoyourememberwhatIsaidtoyouthe
firsttimewemet?”Shesmiled,hereyesshiningjustlikeherdaughter’s.
“You’realwayswelcomehere.Thatwillneverchange.LosAngelesisn’tthatfar
away;I’mexpectingyoutocomebackwheneveryouwanttoorneedto.Doyou
hearwhatI’msaying?”
“Yes.”Inodded.“Idon’tknowhowtothank
youforeverythingyou’vedoneforme,foreverythingyou’vebeenforme.”
“Idon’tneedathankyou,Jason.Justmake
sureyoucomebacktous.”Shehesitated,onlyforhalfasecond,thenpulled
medownandkissedmycheeks.“Makesureyoutakecareofyourself.”Onelast
lookinmyeyes,andsheletmego.
Iwishedshewouldn’t.
“Son,”Logansaidashegavemeaquick,
unexpectedhug.“YouheardwhatEmilysaid,thisisyourhometoo.Andyou
alwayscomebacktoyourhome.Don’tforgetthat.Wewillmissyou.”
ItseemedlikeIwasn’tcapableofdoing
anythingotherthannodthatday.
IglancedatOliveanddespitemy
situation,mylipstippedup.
“Catgotyourtongue,too,huh?”Shejust
staredatmewiththosesad,sadeyes.OliveTayloralwayshadsomethingtosay—always.
“You’vegotnothingtosay,littleone?”Iasked,chuckling,thesound
completelywrongandrough.
“I’mreallysorryaboutyourmom,butI
hopeyou’llbehappyinLA.”
ThecoldtoneandwhatIwasseeinginher
eyesdidn’tmatch,butbeforeIcouldsayanything,Dylangotupfromthesteps
hewassittingonandOlivehuggedherdad’swaist,shuttingmeout.
Evenso,Ireachedoutandgentlytouched
hersofthair,tuggingitgentlybeforelettingitgoforthelasttime.
“Ihopesotoo.Andthankyou,littleone,
Iwillneverforgetyou.”
Atearsliddownfromhereye,andbeforeI
knewwhatIwasdoing,Ireachedouttocaptureitwithmyfingertip.
Sheclosedhereyesandhuggedherdad
tighterwhenItouchedher,butdidn’tsayanything.
Ilookedattheteardropthatrestedonmy
fingertipforalongtimeandfeltatugonmyheartstrings.
“Man,”Dylansaid,savingmefrommy
confusingthoughts.
Ireleasedabigbreathanddroppedmy
finger.
“Thissucks,”hesaid.
Ichuckled.“You’retellinme.”
“Iwantyoutocomebackthefirstchance
youget,andyouarekeepingintouch.”
Isnappedasharpsalute,causinghismouth
totwitch.
Hittingmychinwithhisknuckles,he
groaned.“Oh,man.Ican’tbelieveI’mgonnamissseeingyourshittyfaceevery
day.”
“Dylan!”Emilyadmonished.
“Sorry,Mom.”Rubbingthebackofhisneck,
Dylanlookedatmesheepishly.“We’lltalk?”
“We’lltalk,”Ipromised.
“Jason,”myfathercalledoutfromthecar
waitingacrossthestreet.
“Ibettergo,”Isaid,takingafewsteps
back.
GivingDylanaquickhugandaslaponhis
back,Isaid,“Takecareofyourfamily,man.”
“Youmakesureyoutakecareofyourself,
too.”
Mychestheavy,Ilookedatallofthemone
lasttimeandwalkedaway.Iwasn’tstrongenoughtostrideawayfromthem
withoutturningback.Inthetimeittookmetocrossthestreet,Ilookedback
threetimes.
Diditmakemeabadpersontobehappyto
seethemsad?HappybecauseIfeltloved?LovedandwelcomeasI’dneverbeen
before?
Howtheystoodtogetherasafamilywasburned
intomymindasahappymemory,andthenIgotintothecaranddisappeared
fromtheirlife.
ChapterFourOlive
Myemotionswagingawarinsideme,Iclung
tomydadandwatchedJasongetintotheblackMercedes.Theimageofhim
turningtolookatuswithadimpledsmilebeforehegotintothecarwouldbe
burnedintomymindasasadmemoryforyearstocome.
Thenlikeeveryotherfleetingmomentin
life,myfirstloveslowlyfadedintotime.
ChapterFiveJason
Eightyearslater…
Pushingtheprivatebackdoorofthenightclub
openwithmyshoulder,Idraggedthegigglingmessoutwithme.Sinceshewas
busypawingatmewiththoseclaw-likefingers,shetrippedoverherownfeet,
rightingherselfatthelastmoment,hergigglinggettingevenlouder.Gripping
herwaisttomakesureshedidn’tfaceplantinthosespiky-heeledshoes,I
checkedthealleytomakesurewewerealone.Assoonasthedoorclosedandthe
heavybassofthemusicdriftedawaytoabuzz,ItookJenna’shandoffmydick
andslammedherbackagainsttheconcretewall,eatinguphermoaninahungry
kiss.
Wait,ishernameGemma?
“Takemehome,Jason,”shesaid,herwords
slightlyslurring.Shewasn’tdrunk—ifshewere,Iwouldn’tdothiswithher—but
forsomereasonshechosetoactlikeshewas.Ididn’tcareforhergames.“Take
mehomeandI’llshowyouafewnewtricks.”
Moregiggling.
Jamiemaybe?
Fuck!
“Thisisbetter,babe.Don’tyoufeelthe
thrill?”Iaskedinalowvoiceasmylipsghostedoverherskinagainsther
throat.“Anyonecanwalkoutonus.Doesn’tthatexciteyou?”
Whatthehellishernameagain?Shehadn’thadabigroleinthemovie,butwe’dsharedthesame
setforaboutamonth.Shetwirledandskippedaroundmewhenevershefoundme
aloneinacorner,watchingthecrewwork.Shewhispereddirty,dirtythingsin
myear—atleastdirtyforagirlherage—whennoonewasaround.Atlast,after
countless‘fuckmeeyes’hadbeenthrownmywayatthewrappartythatnight,little
brunettebeautyJessie(???)wasabouttogetthefuckofherlife
againstaconcretewallinthebackalleyofaclub.Lookingatherflushed
skinandalreadydazedeyes,Icouldseethatitwasn’tbotheringherinthe
slightestthatshewasabouttogetfuckedlikeacheaphooker,outintheopen.
Thatwasallshewouldbeforme,andmostlikely
fortheothersthatwouldcomeafterme—producers,agents,etc.
“Aww,youcan’twaittoslideyourdickinto
mypussy,canyou?Ican’twaiteither.IknewyouwerecrazyaboutmeJason,”
shewhisperedintomyearrightbeforeshelickedit,tryingtokillmyear
withthestabbingmotionsofhertongue.
Christ!
Ipushedherfaceaway.
Herhigh-pitchedvoicebuzzedaroundinmy
head,makingmetooawareofthealcoholIhadconsumed.
Ignoringherwords,IliftedJenna’sskintight
silverdressupandoverherhips,makingsuretocaresshertonedthighsas
shemoanedagainstmyneck,herheartracing.
Shekeptmumblinginbetweensloppykisses,
butItunedheroutandletmyselfgetlostinherbody.
Atthatpoint,Iwasn’tfeelingmuch,just
somesortofhousemusicpoundinginmyheadmakingittoohardtothink
clearly.Mydickwasdefinitelyfeelingsomethingasitstrainedagainstmy
jeans,dyingtogetintohertightpussy.
“Youknewyouweregonnagetfucked
tonight,didn’tyou…babe?”
Damnit!I
stillcouldn’trememberhername.
“Yes.Yes.Iknewyoucouldn’tstayaway.”She
gaspedasmyfingersfoundtheirwaytoher…butterfly?Whatthehell?Normally
Iwouldn’tcare,but,well,sueme,Iwasacuriousbastard.
Itookastepbackfromheroctopusarms
andlookeddowntofindasparklingbutterflyholdingtwoflimsystrapsaround
itwings.Herpussywasopenforalltoseeinhercrotchlesspanties—ifyou
couldevencallthempanties,thatis
“Huh,”Imuttered.“Iguessthatmakesmy
jobeasier.”
Mydickwasstillroaringtogetinto
actionsoIshruggedherhandsoffmyshouldersandtookoutacondomfrommy
backpocket,pullingitonprettyquicklyconsideringmybuzzedstate.
Liftingherthighashighasitwouldwrap
aroundme,Ienteredherinaquickdeepthrustasshegaspedindelight.
“Jesus,youfilledme,”shesaidin
surprise.
“Youlikethat,babe?Isthatwhatyou’ve
beenafterforsolong?Gettingfilledupproperly?”Anotherthrustandher
eyesflutteredclose.
“Yeah,it’sbetterthanwhatI’veheard.”
Hervoicewasalldreamy,whichmademehesitanttokeepfuckingher.Ididn’t
dodreamy.Aone-timequickfuckthatwouldgetusbothoffwasmoremykindathing.
Dreamyledtocomplicatedstuff,andeventhoughIlikedtobelievethatasan
actorIcouldsellagooddream,orhell,evenbeagooddream,Iwasn’t
fuckedupenoughtothinkthatIwouldfindmyownhappyendingwithmycareer
choice.NoteveryonewouldtoleratethelifestyleIled
Don’tgetmewrong,Ilovedmyjob.Itwas
theonlythingthatmadeanysortofsenseinmylife.However,everything
else?Theconstantisolationforcedonyou,thepaparazzihoundingyou,
everyonedissectingyoureverylittlemove…Afterawhileitfeltliketherewas
anoosearoundyourthroatthatwasbeingtightenedbyeveryoneinyourlife.
Yes.That’sexactlyhowIfelt.
Indifferent.Tired.
TheonlytimeitseemedlikeIwas
breathingagainwaswhenIwasonamovieset,pretendingtobesomeoneelse.
Inaway,mylifewasaplay.
“Ohmygod,Jason.Yes.Yes,Iknewit
wouldbelikethiswithyou.”Shemoanedasherwordsslurred.Ipickedupmy
pace.Thiswastheonlytimeshe’dbegettingfuckedsenselessbyme;I
should’vebeenfocusedonher.
“Keepitquiet,”Ihissedinherearasher
criesstartedtogethigher.“Youdon’twanttogetcaughtgettingfuckedin
thestreet,doyou?”
“Ido.Ido.Yes!Yes!”
Idroppedmyheadtohershoulderandraced
forthefinishline.Thequickerthiswasover,thequickerIcouldgetbackto
myhouse.
Grabbingherass,Iwrappedbothofher
skinnylegsaroundmywaistandkeptdrillingintoher.Hersharpcriesechoed
inthedarkalley,blendingwiththemusicthatwascomingthroughthewallsof
thenightclubherbackwasagainst.
“Oh,fuckme,Jason,”shescreechedinmy
ear.
“That’swhatI’mtryingtodo,”Isaidthrough
grittedteeth.Withallhershrieking,Iwasalreadysoberingup
Iclosedmyeyesandtriedtofocusonthe
taskathand.Whenshesuddenlytippedovertheedgetofuckingdreamland,I
sworeandcameafterherasshekeptsqueezingmydickrhythmically.
Tippingmyheadback,Ifelteverymuscle
inmybodyrelaxandexperiencedtheblissIappreciatedsomuch,evenifit
wasonlyforafewseconds.
That’sexactlywhenIheardtherunning
footstepscomingfrombehindus.Lookingovermyshoulder,Isawthefirstof
manyblindingflashlights.
“Fuck,”Iswore,myhandsquicklygetting
ridofthecondombeforetheycouldgettous.
Jennaslumpedbackonthewallandsighed,
anevenmoredopedupsmilebeginningtoformonherlipsasshestartedtofix
herhair.
Zippingupmyfly,Ipulleddownherskirt
forherasshewastoobusyalreadybeaminguptoourintrudersovermy
shoulder.
Shit!They
werealmostonus.Thankfully,mybodywasbigenoughtohideherfromtheir
camerassoIdoubtedtheyhadgottenanyshotsofwhatwe’dbeendoingjust
secondsbefore.Atbest,theywouldthinkI’dtakenheroutforaquickmake
outsession.
“Jason!Jason!Isthisanewrelationship?”
theonewiththemustacheyelled.
Click.Click.Click
“Didyourlovestartonset?Aretherumors
true?”
“Whenareyougoin’publicwiththis?”
Click.Click.
“Didyoustartarelationshiptopromote
yournewmovie?”
“Jason!Talktousman!Whatwereyouguys
doingbackhere?”
Afewofthemsnickered.
Click.Click.Click.
What’s-her-namethrewherarmsaroundmy
neckandbeamedatthecameras.“Howdidyoufindusbackhere?Thiswas
supposedtobesecret.Wewerebeingclever.”
Myfaceamaskofcalm,Igentlyshruggedoff
herarmsyetagainandopenedtheprivatebackdoortopushherbackintothe
club.
Hereyeswereasbigassaucersandshecouldn’t
doanythingbutgapeatmeasIclosedthedooronherfaceandturnedtoface
thepapsstillshoutingquestionsatme.Thankfully,therewereonlysevenor
eightofthem.
“Jason!ThereisaclipofyouwithZoey
whereitlookslikeyouaregettingbusyinyourcar.Nowyouarewith
Jennifer,anycomments?”
Ah!Sothat
washername.
“Haveaniceevening,guys,”Isaidinabored
tone,ignoringtheirquestions.Iputmyhandsinmypocketsandtheyparted
formetopass,theirvoicesgettinghigherandhigherinmyhead.Ididn’t
specificallyhearwhattheyweresaying,butIknewIwouldbegettingaphone
callfirstthingthenextmorningfrommyagent,TomSymond,whohadbecomeagood
friendovertheyears,andofcoursemypublicist,Megan.
Afewminuteslater,Iwasinmycarracing
backtoBelAir,stillasedgyandemptyasI’dbeenatthebeginningofthe
night.
ChapterSixOlive
“Canyoupleaseremindmewhyyoucouldn’t
comewithmeagain?”IwhisperedtoLucyonthephoneasIpressedmyforehead
tothewallinthecornerofthewhitewaitingroomwhereIsat,waitingtobe
calledin.
“Babe,calmdown.Ifitwasn’tthelittle
bitch’sclass,youknowI’dbethereholdingyourhandeverystepoftheway.
Thewomanalreadyhasitoutforme;Ican’tgivehermoreammo.Bythetime
yougethome,I’llhavethetequilashotsreadytocelebrate.Focusonthat.
It’llhelp.”
Iclosedmyeyes.Iwassecondsawayfrom
throwingup.Tocalmdownandfocusonsomethingelse,Istartedtopaceupand
downinmylittlecorner.Happythoughts,Iencouragedmyself.
Happy,happythoughts.
TherewasablondegirlsittingontheU-shaped
whitecouch.She’dbeenbusytextingawayandthentakinguselessselfiesfor
thelasttenminutes.Shewasalldolledupandhadasoveryobviouslyfake
tanthatwasalreadygoingsplotchyonher.Shehadn’tletthatthing—that
phonethathadmickeyearsonit—downevenforasecondeversinceshe’d
steppedinthroughthedoors.
Imean,forgod’ssake,howmanyfreaking
picturescanyoutakewhilesittingintheexactsamespot,smilingthesame
fakesmile?I’dstoppedcountingafterthirty.
Lookingathermakinganotherpoutyfaceas
shesqueezedherbreaststogetherwithherarms,Igroaned.
“IthinkI’mgonnathrowup,”Iwhispered
intomyphone.
“Ohshutup.Pullupyourbiggirlpanties
andbraandwowthemwithyourprettylittlesmile.”
“Sinceyouaredoingsuchacrappyjobwith
thebestfriendgig,atleastremindmewhyCharcouldn’tcomewithme?”
Lucyletoutalongbreath.“Charlotte
wouldbetremblingrightbesideyouifyoutookherwithyou.That’swhywe
didn’ttellherwhereyouweregoing,remember?”
Idid.Shewasright;ifCharlottewerethere,
theywouldrememberusastheshakingduo—notthebestfirstimpressionyou’d
wanttomakewithanyone,letalonethestudiopeoplewhowereinterestedin
adaptingyourbookintoafuckingmovie.
“Ihateyou.”
“Iloveyoutoo,myanxiousbabe.”
“Lucy,”Istartedagaininamiserable
tone.“Themeetingwasat2:30,it’salmost3.MaybeIshouldleave?Maybethey
madeamistakeschedulingthis.Imean,whoamIkidding,right?Clearly,this
isn’thappening.Idon’twanttowaitaroundtoseesomeonejumpoutand
scream,‘Jokesonyou,sucka!’Ijustwannacomehome.CanIcomehome,please?”
“No,youcan’tcomehome.Iforbidyouto
comehomebeforeyoutakethatmeetingandcomebackwithgoodnewsandlotsa
money.Now,closeyoureyes.”
“Why?”
“Doit,Olive.”
“Fine.Myeyesareclosedshut.Youcan
comeandprythemopenifyouwanttowinthebestfriendoftheyearaward.”
“Ialreadyowntheshitoutofthataward,
babe,sothat’sauselessthreat.Areyoureyesclosed?”
“Yes,”Ihuffed.
“Ok.Now,imagineyouareariver.”
“Ahhh,”Igroaned.Notthiscrapagain.
“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Calmingyouthehelldown.”
“BytellingmeI’mariver?”
“Yes.Now,shutupandimaginethatyou’re
ariver.Youareflowing;nooneandnothingcanstopyou.Youfeelthe
sunlightonyour…whateveranditmakesyouhappy.Youareatwinkleoflaughter
intheair.Then,youturnintoasmallwaterfall,no,youturnintoamajestic
waterfallandthenyo—”
“Ok,ok,Lucy.”Icuthershortbeforeshe
couldsputtermorebullshit.“I’mcalm.Youcalmedmedown.I’macoldriver
thathearstwinklesoflaughterintheairandthenturnsintoamajestic
waterfallthing.”
“Great,goodforyou.Now,IsawJameson’shot
asswalkbymesoIgottagoandtakeabiteoutofthat.”Itriedtocutin,
butsheshushedme.“MakemeproudandI’llmeetyouatthehouse.Byeeeeee!”
Iopenedmymouth,butshehadalreadyhung
uponme.Iloweredmyphoneandsmiledtomyself.Shehadn’tcomeanywhere
nearcalmingmedown,butshealwayshadawayofmakingmesmile.
Ilookedaroundtheblackandwhiteoffice.
Everythinglookedsoexpensive:theartonthewalls,thefurniture,thecarpet,
eventhedamnwindowslookedallexpensiveandshiny.Feelingnaked,nervous,
scared,excited—didImentionnaked?—Itookastepforwardtogositdownnext
totheclickerhappychick,butwhenIsawhertakeaselfiestickoutofher
bag,Idecidedagainstit.
Pacingitwas.
Mygazelandedonthewomenthatsatbehind
thehuge,crescent-shapedreceptiondesk.Theyalllookedlikemodels,not
secretaries.Notasinglehairontheirheadwasoutofplacewhileminewasa
crazywavymess.Iglanceddownatmyclothes…Well,obviouslyIdidn’tfitin
withtheirpencilskirt,blouse,andhigh-heeledofficeattire,butIlooked
good.Justafewhoursbefore,Lucyhadforcedmetowearablackbandeauskirt
withasimplewhiteshirtandathinleatherjacket.Ofcourse,shehadtried
toforcemetowearhighheels,butIhadgottenawaywithwearingmylucky
combatboots.IlikedtothinkIlookedchicandrelaxedinafashionablesort
ofway.However,itwasn’thelpingmenotfeeloutofplaceatall.
Ifocusedonthebrunettethathadtoldme
thatIneededtowaitafewminutesbecausetheexecswererunninglate.That
fewminuteshadturnedintofortyminutesexactlyoneminuteago.
Please,don’tjudgeme.NormallyI’mcool
withwaiting.Hell,anyothertime,Iwould’velovedtositdownnexttothe
photochickandtakepicturesofhertakingpicturesofherselfandhavea
laughaboutitwithLucyandCharlottewhenIgotbackhome.But,minuteshada
reallyslowwayofmovingwhenyouwereabouttoloseyourcoolandthrowupin
frontofahandfulofstrangers.Icouldn’tbeheldresponsibleforallthe
daggersIwasthrowingatthemodel-secretaries.
Hell,shameonthem.Whatkindofcruel
peopleweretheythattheywereplayingwithmyemotionslikethis?AsfarasI
wasconcerned,theydeservedalltheimaginarysharplittledaggers.
Finallythebrunettemetmyeyes,heldher
fingertohereartolistentowhoeverwastalkingontheothertheendofher
bluetooththingy,thennoddedonce
“MissTaylor,”shecalledtome.
Iclosedmyeyes,tookadeep,shakybreath,
andwalkedovertoher.
Shewasalreadyupfromherseatand
walkingtowardme.Wemetinthemiddle.
“I’mariver.Icanflowpeacefully,”I
mutteredtomyself.
“Excuseme?”
“Oh,nothing.Sorry.”Igaveherashaky
smile.
“I’llwalkyoutoMr.Thomas’office.They
arereadyforyou.”
“Thankyou,”Isaid,tryingvery,veryhard
tokeepmyhandsatmysidesinsteadofdoingsomethingcrazylikeslippingmy
handintoherstostealsomeofhercool.
Thatwouldn’tbeweird,right?
Shegavemeasinceresmile,thefirstone
actually,andledthewaydownthelonghallway.
Weturnedright,passingmoreexpensive
paintings,andsomemovieposters,thenwetookaleftturn,thistimepassing
awholebunchofsmalloffices.Eachtimewepassedanopendoor,Iwasready
tojumpoutofmyskinwithnervousness.Whenwemadeyetanotherturn,Iwas
startingtofeellikeahamstertryingtogettoitstreat.Thentherewasonly
abigdoorinfrontofus.
Icametoahalt.WasIreallydoingthis?
Wasthisreallyhappening?
Shit!
WhowasIkidding,thiswasgoingtobea
completedisaster!
Iwasnomajesticwaterfall.Notevenclose.
Thebrunettestoodnexttothedoorandher
handpausedonthehandlebeforeshepulleditopen.Clearly,shewaswaiting
formetocomecloser,butIwashavingnoneofthat.Iliftedmyeyesuptohers.
Fightorflight?
Iwassecondsawayfromflight.
Damnit!
Howmanyturnshadwemade?CouldIeven
findmywayoutofthatlabyrinthofhellwithouther?
Itookaninvoluntarystepbacktotestthe
watersandthenextthingIknewshewasstandingrightnexttome,askingifI
wasokay,herhandsurprisinglystrongatmyback.
Imadeanawful,awfulmewlingsoundinmy
throatandthenstartedcoughing.WhenIwasdonewithallthatnonsense,her
facehadsoftenedup.
“Sorry,”Imurmured.
“Youarenervousaboutthemeeting?”
“Itcan’tbethatobvious,”Isaid,trying
tochuckle.
“Youhavenothingtobenervousabout.I
lovedyourbook,”shestated,shockingthehelloutofme.
Myeyeswidened.“What?Youdid?Youread
mybook?YouactuallyknowwhoIam?Didyousayyoulikedthebook?”Iasked,
holdingmybreath.Well,sheobviouslyhadgoodtaste;itwasadamngoodbook
afterall.
“Yes,Idid,andofcourseIknowwhoyou
are.Andrightafterthismeeting,ifyouaccepttheiroffer,alotmorepeople
willknowaboutyourstory.Youhititbig.”
Ididn’twanttohititbigorgetbigger.
Ididn’twanttogetanything.Atthatmoment,allIwantedwastogetinmy
bedandhideundermycovers.
“Butyouhavetogoinnow.”Icouldsee
shewaswaitingformetomovealready.“Mr.Thomashasapackedscheduleand
heisalreadybehind.”Shecheckedherdaintylittlewatchthenlookedbackat
me.“Goonnow,thereisn’tmuchtimeuntilhisnextappointment.”
Iwasn’tbudging.
BeforeIknewwhatwashappening,shehadopened
thedoorandwasusheringmeinside.
CatchingmyselfbeforeIfelldownonmy
face,Icametoahaltandheardthedistinctsoundofadoorclosing.Ilooked
overmyshoulder.
Shewasgone.
Thetraitor!
Iturnedaroundandfoundmyselffaceto
facewiththreesuit-wearingmen.
ForasecondIdidn’tknowwhattodo,but
thenImentallyshookmyselfoffandwalkedtowardthem.
Iwasalreadyinforit,mightaswelllook
likesomeonewhoknewwhattheyweredoing.
Thebaldone—IwasassuminghewasBobby
Thomas—cameforwardandmetmehalfway,quicklyofferingmehishand.
“Hello,MissTaylor,I’mBobby.”Hegreeted
mewithaneasysmileonhisface.Ifhiseyeshadn’tbeenfixatedonmy
breasts,Iwouldhavesaidhelookedfriendly.
Annoyed,Iangledmyfaceandcaughthis
attention.“NicetomeetyouMr.Thomas,”Isaidpointedly.
“We’llhavenoneofthat.CallmeBobby.By
theendofallthiswe’llgettoknoweachothermuchbetter.”
Iforcedasmileonmyfaceandgentlypulled
myhandoutofhisgrasp.
Theothertwodidn’tgetupfromtheir
seat,buthadtheireyesonmeagain,assessingme.
Walkingbymyside,Bobbyledmetothe
longtableinfrontofthefloortoceilingwindows.
Managingtolookaround,Inoticedthatwe
wereinsomekindofconferenceroom,whichdidnothingtocalmmynervesdown.
Iwasbeyondoutofmydepthhere
“Olive,thisis—canIcallyouOlive?”
“Sure,”Imumbled,distractedbyhishandresting
onthesmallofmyback.
“Great.Olive,I’dliketointroduceyouto
theyoungestmemberofourcompany,KeithCannon.”
Withthosepaleblueeyesandsharp
cheekbones,KeithCannonmadeaveryimpressivefirstimpression.
“NicetomeetyouKeith.I’mOliveTaylor.”
Ismiledupathimandshookhiswarmhand.
Hehadlong,strongfingers.Histeethlookedalittletoowhite,alittletoo
blindingtobenatural,butitwashardtofindnaturalinLA.
Nexttohim,ashorter,youngerguywhowas
busilytypingawayonhislaptopgotupandbrisklyshookmyhandasBobby
continuedwiththeintroductions.
“Thisisprobablyveryexcitingforyou,and
ifweagreeonourterms,hewillbethescreenwriterforthemovie.It’s
importantthatwereflecteverythinginyourstoryontothebigscreenaswell
asyoumanagedtodoinafewhundredpagessoIwantedyoutomeetHarry
Schumanandhearouthisideas.Heisactuallyhereforournextmeeting,but
we’rerunningalittlelatetoday,sosinceheisalreadyhere,wewantedhim
tositinonthiswithyou.”
Inoddedandafterthepleasantriestookmy
seatacrossfromthem.
“Weunderstandthatatthistimeyouhave
nobookagent,Olive.Isthatright?”Keithasked.
“Yes,”Ianswered.“Thiswasn’tsomethingI
wasexpectingtohappen.Atall.I’manindieauthor,andasyoumustalready
know,SoulAcheismyfirstnovel,whichmakesallthisevenmore
surreal.”
“Weunderstandthatitcouldbealittle
overwhelming,butyoudefinitelyimpresseduswithyourstoryandwewantedto
getyourattentionbeforeanyoneelsecouldstealyou.”
“Keithisright.”Bobbytookoveragain.
“Wewantyoutolookatthisasthefirststepofourpartnership.Youdon’t
havetodecideonanythingtoday,butyoushouldknowthatweareextremely
eagertotakeonthisproject.Youshouldalsobeawarethat—excuseme.”Hepaused
whenhisphonepingedwithanewtextmessage.Liftinghiseyes,heabsently
wavedhishandinagesturethatsaid‘keepgoing’.
“Ineedtocheckonsomething,butplease
goonwithoutmeforafewminutesandI’llberightback.Wemightevenhavea
surpriseforyou,Olive.Ithinkyou’lllikeit.”
IforcedasmileonmylipsandthenBoobie
Bobbywasgone.
“Let’sgettoit,shallwe?”Keithasked
andgotanodfrombothHarryandme.“AsBobbyjustmentioned,weare
interestedinoptioningyourbook.But—”Heliftedhishandasiftostopme
fromcuttingin.
I’mallears,Keith.Nooneisstopping
you.
“Wewantedtosetthismeetingsowecould
gettoknoweachotherbetterandseeifwecanimpressyou.Aftertoday,if
youlikewhatyou’rehearing,I’dbehappytosetupalunchmeetingsowecan
gooverthedetailsandpresentyouwithanoptionagreementfortheexclusive
rights.”
“Okay,”Inodded,becausethatmadesense,
right?Hewasn’tsayinganythingscary,notatall.
Keithnoddedbackatmewithabigsmilethat
showcasedhisblindingpearlywhitesagainandkeptgoing.“So,essentially,Olive,
wewanttostaytruetoyourstoryasmuchaswecan.Youcapturedsomany
heartsfromsomanydifferentagegroups,sowewanttokeeptheheartofyour
story.Theonlydifferenceisthatwewanttoelevateitevenmore.Polishthe
maincharacters,maybedoafewsmallchangeshereandthere,addafewnew
secondarycharacters,bignamesfromHollywoodofcourse.Wehaven’tdecidedif
wewanttochangetheendingyet,butthat’sjustthedetailsI’msureyou’re
notinterestedin.”Linkinghishandstogetherontopofthetable,helooked
straightatme.“Wewantthemovietogeteveryone’sattention.”
Somewhereinthemiddleofhisexplanation
ofthestudio’sintentionswithmybook,hadhejustsaidthatIwouldn’tbe
interestedinthechanges?Whatonearthwashetalkingabout?
“Itallsoundsgreat,butmaybeweshould
takeafewstepsback,”Isaid.“IreallyfeellikeI’moutofmydepthhere.
Whenyousayafewsmallchanges…?”
“I’vereadyourbook,MissTaylor,and
whileeverythingwasgreatforabookformat,foramovieitwon’ttranslate
thesameway.Makingchangeswillbenecessaryatcertainparts,”Harrysaid,
speakingforthefirsttime.
“We’llwalkyouthrougheverything.”Keith
assuredme,cuttingin.“Usuallyittakestime—aroundayearorpossiblyeven
morethanayear—togatherfundingforthemovie,tofindtherightdirector
forthestory,therightactors,theproductioncompany,andmanyothersteps…but
wewanttousethebuzzofyourbooktoouradvantageandkeepthemomentum
going.Sinceyoudon’thaveabookagent,Iwouldhighlysuggestyoutofind
oneorhavealawyergooverthecontractwe’llbepresentingyouatournext
meetingsotherewon’tbeanyissuesinthefuture.”
“Sure,sure.Butwhataboutthosechanges?”
Iasked,feelingmoreoverwhelmedbythesecond.
Keithmusthaveseensomethingonmyface
becausehissmilesoftened.
“Idon’tthinkweaskedyou,wouldyoulike
tohavesomethingtodrink?Somethingtocelebrate,maybe?”
“No,I’mgood.Thankyou.”
“Nexttimethen.Sodoyouhaveany
questionsforme?”
IglancedatHarry,buthewashavingnone
ofit.
“IthinkIdo.Firstofall,it’svery
excitingtohearthatyou’reinterestedinmybook,buttobehonest,the
changesyoumentionedyouwanttomakeare…Idon’tknowhowtoputitinto
wordsactually.Thethingis,I’vespentyearsonthisnovel.WhileIdowant
toseemycharacterscomealiveonthebigscreen,I’mnotsureifit’sworth
ittogothroughthiswholethingonlyforittoendupcompletely
unrecognizable.”Everywordinthatbookheldaspecialplaceinmyheart.
“Youarenotinterestedinsellingthe
movierights?”
“Ididn’tsaythat.Actually,Ididsome
researchandIbelieveinsomecasesauthorscanactasaconsultant.Would
thatbeanoptionforme?WillIhaveanysayinthemakingofthemovie?”
“Olive,trustme,allauthorsfeelthesame
wayasyoudoatfirst,butwhentheprojectgoesforwardandtheproduction
starts,everythingchanges.Thescreenplayisn’twrittenyet,sowecan’t
reallycommentonanychanges,butI’lldefinitelymakesurethatyouare
includedintheprocess.”
Thankfully,Iwassmartenoughtoknowthat
havingasayinthescreenplayandbeing‘includedintheprocess’werenowhere
thesamething.
“Let’stalkaboutthecasting,”hesaid
whileIwasstilltryingtodecidehowtoanswer.
“Isn’titalittleearlyforthat?”I
asked,fidgetinginmyseat.
“That’soneofthefirstthingswefocuson
becausesecuringtherightactorfortherolewillchangeeverything.We
alreadyhaveafewnameswethinkwouldbeaperfectfitforIsaacand
Genevieve.”Hecheckedthenotesinfrontofhim.“ForIsaac,yourmain
character,wehaveonespecificactorwearetryingtogetintouchwith,but
forGenevievewehaveapoolofnameswearegoingthrough.Doyouhaveanyideas,
maybesuggestionsforthecasting?”
“Well,whenIpicturetheminmymind,I
don’tseethemasotherpeople.”
Lie,Olive.Liethroughyourteeth.
“Iwouldlovetohearthenamesyou’reconsidering
though,”Iadded.
Rightattheendofmysentence,thedoor
toourleftopenedandBobbywalkedbackintotheroomwithanothermanright
besidehim.Keith’sgazeshiftedtowardthemtoo,andbeforeIknewwhatwas
happening,Jasonwalkedinbehindthem,playingwiththephoneinhishand.
AsinJasonfuckingThorn.
Mymouthdroppedopen.
Shit!
MyJason.
Double,tripleshit!
No,notmy,myJason.
Shit!Shit!Shit!
Inshockandstuckinmyseat,mymouthwas
stillhangingwideopenwhenBobbychuckled,drawingmyattention.I’msureI
wasasighttosee.
“Olive,Iwant—”Bobby’smouthwasmoving,
butnoneofitwasgettingthroughtome.
RememberthepeacefulwaterfallLucytried
totrickmeintobelievingIwas?
Itwasgone.Alldriedup.Itwasa
disaster,really.
Iwasanavalanche—themotherofall
avalanchestobeprecise.
Jumpingupfrommyseatinarush,Iturned
mybacktothembeforeJasoncouldnoticeme.MaybeIwasactingcrazy,but
thereweren’tthatmanyOlivesintheworld.Whatifherememberedme?Remembered
myname?
Damnit!
Whatifhesawmylastnameonthebook
coverthatwassittingsoprettilyinthemiddleofthetable?
Searchingforaquickexit,Ifoundnone.
SurelyitwouldhurtabittoomuchifItriedtobreakthewindowandjump
out.Noticingthebarcartnexttothewindow,Ishakilymademywaytowardit.
DamnthatKeithguy,whydidhekeep
callingmyname?
Reachingforthepitcherofwaterthathad
floatinglemonandlimeslicesinit,Igrabbedaglassandstartedpouring.
Sincemyhandswereshaking,someofitdidn’tlandintheglass,butwho
cared.Assoonasitwashalffull,Ichuggeditdownandpouredanotherone.
Alcoholwould’veworkedmuchbetter,but
waterwasdoingthetrick.
Someonetouchedmyarm,andIwasashamed
tosayIalmostlostmygriponthepitcher,makinganevenbiggerfoolof
myself.
“Olive,areyouokay?”
NoticingitwasjustKeith,Islowly
loweredthepitcherdownandclungtomyglass.
“Ah,sorry.Idon’tknowwhatcameoverme.”
Itriedtosmile,buttohimitprobablylookedmorelikeagrimace
Keithchuckled.“It’snoteverydayyousee
amoviestarthisclose.Iunderstandyourexcitement.”
Heunderstoodnothing.Whywashetalking
aboutJasonasifhewasananimalinazoo?
“Let’stakeourseatsagainsowecan
introduceyoutwo.You’dlikethat,wouldn’tyou?”
ActuallyI’dhatethat,thankyouvery
much.
TherewentmyhopesthatmaybeKeithwould
beniceenoughtosmugglemeoutofthere.
“Sure,”Imumbled,usingtheglassofwater
asashieldinfrontofmyface.
WhenIglancedatthetable,Isawthat
HarrywasgoneandBobbyhadtakenhisseat.Nexttohimsatthemanwhohad
walkedinnexttoBobby.
Andthen,therewasJason…
Itriednottolookathimatall.
DearGod,pleasehelpmebreathe
StillusingtheglassasmyshieldasI
keptsippingwater,Isatdownrightacrossfromtheunknownguy—whohadan
amusedexpressiononhisface—andthenIjumpedalittleandsloshedwateron
myselfwhenKeithpulledoutthechairnexttomineandsatdown.
Jesus…get
agrip,Olive.
Iwasreadytojumpoutofmyskinandrun
awaytofindLucysoIcouldkillher.Surelythiswasallhappeningbecause
shehadn’tcomewithme.
Keithstartedtheintroductions.“Thisis
Jason’sagent,TomSymond,andthisistheauthorImentionedtoyou,Tom,
OliveT—”
“Soverynicetomeetyou,”Isaidina
loudervoicethanKeith’s,interruptinghimbeforehecouldsaymylastname.
TomSymondchuckled,roseup,andreached
formyhand.
ThenIhadtogetup,too.Don’tyoujust
hatebeingcivilsometimes?Aswewereshakinghands,Islippedandglancedat
Jasonsincehewasbeingsoquiet.WhenInoticedhewaslookingatmewitha
frownonhisface,Iquicklylookedaway,satdown,andreachedformybeloved
waterglass.
“JasonThorniswhowewantfortheroleof
Isaac.Wethinkhe’llbeperfect,”Keithstartedupagain.
Damn,buttheguytalkedtoomuch.
“Westillhavealotofthingstotalk
about,Keith,solet’snotgetaheadofourselves,”saidTom.
Inoddedenthusiastically.Whatkindof
hellwasIinthattheyhadbroughtintheONEactorthatIwouldbe—
“OliveTaylor?”
Oh,god…
Deathcouldbesopeaceful.Myownheaven.
Didn’tthatsoundnice?Breathingwassooverratedanyway.
“Olive?”Jasonaskedagaininasurprised
voice.Therewascompletesilenceintheroom.
Mystomachgrumbled.
Anyoneupthere?Killme.
Killmenow.
“Nicetomeetyou…Mr.JasonThorn,”Isaidmiserably
whennobodyelsespokeforseveralseconds,silentlyshavingoffyearsofmy
life.
OfallthethingsIcould’vesaidatthat
moment,ofallthethingsIcould’vebeendoinginsteadofsittingthere
shakinglikealeaf…
“Littleone,”hesaidoncehegotupfrom
hisseat.Therewasaffectioninhisvoice.Definitelysurprise,too,but
mostlyaffection.
Allthehairsonmybodystoodup.
Jasonwasalreadyroundingthetablecoming
towardme.Noescapenow.
Defeated,Iletgoofmywaterglassand
pushedmychairbacktofaceJason.
Oncehereachedme,onlytwostepsseparated
us.Twoshortstepsafternotseeinghimforsomanyyears.
“Olive,”hesaid,hislipscrackingintoa
biggrin.Hiseyestookineveryinchofmybody,causingmetoblush.
Thenhewasinmyspace,hishandscradling
myalreadyflushedface.Involuntarily,Itookastepback,myassalmost
sittingonthetable.Hejustcamewithme.
“Littleone,lookatyou.”Helaughed,
triggeringasmileonmyface.“Ican’tbelieveit,Olive.Fuck,lookatyou,”
herepeatedagain.
Thedimple?Itwasstillasheartwarmingto
seeasithadbeenthefirstdayI’dmethim.
“Hi,”Isaid,liftingmyhandinalittle
wave.
Hethrewbackhisheadandlaughed.
Wow
“Mr.JasonThorn?That’swhatyousayto
me?”
“Yeah,sorryaboutthat,”Imumbled,my
faceheatingup.
“Jason?”hisagentaskedfrombehind.“You
knowher?”
“Yeah,Iknowher,”Jasonanswered,his
eyesstillonme.“Iwasherfavoritepersoninthewholewideworld.Shesaid
soherselfwhenshewaseightyearsold.”Hetiltedhishead,hiseyes
narrowing.“Orwasitmaybeseven?”
“Probablyseven,”Imutteredandclosedmy
eyes.Yup,Ihaddonethat,becausehehadbeenexactlythatforme.
“Oh,thisisanicesurprise,”Bobbycut
intoourunexpectedreunion.“Wedidn’tknowyoutwokneweachother.Thiswill
definitelybeaplusfortheproject.”
Jasonwinkedatme.
Myheartfluttered.
Thenhishandsfinallyleftmyfacealone,
onlytograbmyhandandturnbacktoTom.
“Youcanhandlethis?”
“Ofcourse,butIthinkyoushouldstay.
We’llkeepitshort,”Tomresponded.
What?
“Youcantakecareofeverything.”
“Jason,waitaminute.”
Yes,Jason!Waitaminute!
HisgazelandedonBobby.“I’min.Youcan
goovereverythingwithTom.”
Hewasin?Inwhat?INWHAT?Certainlynot
mybook?
“Areyoudonewithyourmeetingwith
Olive?”heaskedKeithnext.
Hello,people!AmInotstillstanding
here?
Keith’sgazefoundmystartledonebefore
heansweredJason’squestion.“I’llsendyouthecontractandpersonallycall
youtoschedulealunchdate.We’llgoovertheoptioningagreementwithyou
andmakethenecessarychangesthen.”
Iwasstartingtofeeldizzy.HadIsaid
okaytotheirproposalalready?
Absentmindedly,Inodded.
“Callmewhenthemeetingisdone,Tom,”
Jasonsaidashepulledmebehindhim.
“Ican’tbelievethis,”hemutteredassoon
aswewereoutthedoorandinthemazeagain.
Otherthanbeingshockedintosilence,I
justhopedhehadbeeninthebuildingenoughtimestoknowhowtogetoutof
thedamnthing.
OnehandengulfedinJason’s,theotherflailing
behindmewithmyhandbag,Itriedtokeepupwithhisbigstrides.
Isthisreallyhappening?
JustwhenIsawthelightandthoughtwe
werefinallyout,Iwaspulledintoanemptyofficeandthosedarkchocolate
eyesofhisfocusedcompletelyonme.
“Olive,youarebeautiful,”hesaidafter
wetookineachotherinthethicksilence.“You’vegrownupsomuch.”
Fuck.
“Ididdothat.Youlookverygood,Jason.
It’snicetoseeyou.”
Wasthatmyvoicethatwastrembling?He
wasstillmyfirstcrushandmyfirstheartbreak,buthewasalsoJasonThorn.The
JasonThornwhowasonlytwenty-sixandhadtwoOscarnominationsunderhis
belt,butIwasn’tgoingtothinkaboutwhatwasunderhisbeltbecausethat
wouldbebad.Reallybad.Hewasoneofthemostversatileleadingactorinthe
industry.DidImentionhewasthebest?Hewasmorethanjustanactor.Hewas
astar—atroubledone,Ishouldsay,butstillabig,shinystar.Anyother
womanwouldbejumpingonhimiftheyeverfoundthemselveslockedinaroom
withhim,whichIbelievedtheyusuallydid.
I,however,wasslowlysteppingbacktoward
freedom.
“That’sit?That’sallyou’regonnasayto
me?”
ThelastdayI’dsmiledupathim,hehad
managedtostomponmyheartwithasimpletextmessage,notevenknowinghe
wasstompingonit.Thelasttimehehadtuggedmyhairasagoodbyehadbeen
thelasttimeI’deverheardfromhim.
Sure,hehadtextedandcalledDylanfor
thefollowingfewweeks,butafterthatIdon’tthinkevenDylanheardfromhim
again.Oneyearlater,wehadwatchedhisfirstmovieasafamilyinthesame
livingroomwherehehadspentcountlesshourswithus.
“I’mtooshocked,Idon’tknowwhattosay
really,”IblurtedbeforeIcouldsaysomethingstupid.
“Iamtoo,but,god,lookatyou,little
one.”Anotherslowperusalofmybody.“Ididn’tevenrecognizeyouwhenI
firstwalkedintotheroom.Whataretheodds?”
“Right?”Ichucklednervously.“Whatare
thedamnodds…”
“Youhavetotellmeeverything.”
“Everything?Whatdoyoumean?”
“Dylan?IshehereinLA.too?Howabout
yourmomanddad?Iseveryoneokay?”
“Yes.Theyareallfine.MomandDadstill
liveinSanFrancisco.Samehouse,actually.DylanisinD.C.Heisateacher,
andmarriedtothesweetestgirl.Canyoubelievethat?”
Ikeptwalkingbackwards.
Smallsteps,Olive.You’resocloseto
freedom.
“Actually,Ican.”Hissmilegoteven
biggerashesatontheedgeoftheofficedesk.“Hewantedtobeateacher
eversincemiddleschoolorsomethinglikethat,andfamilywasalways
importanttohim.Nowonderhecouldn’twaittostarthisown.”
Finallyreachingthedoor,Irestedmy
backagainstitandwaitedfortheperfectmomenttoescape.
“God,Olive,youcan’tevenimaginehowmuch
Imissedyouguys.”
“Whenyoustoppedcalling,theymissedyou
too.”
Hearchedaneyebrow.“So,youdidn’tmiss
me?”
Youhurtme,youbig,sexymeanie,Iwantedtosay.
“Um,sure.Ofcourse.”
Hisdimpledisappearedandhestraightened.
Whenhestartedwalkingtowardme,Ihadnowheretorun.
“What’swrongwithyou,littleOlive?”
Reachingout,hetuggedastrandofmyhair,agesturesooldthatittuggedat
somethinginmyheart.“I’mnotyourfriendanymore?”
Hehadremembered.Thehair-tuggingthinghe
hadstarteddoingeverysingletimehesawmewaslikeawarm‘hello’fromhim.
Iusedtoloveit,thinkinghecouldn’tkeephishandsoffofme.Ihadbeenin
lovewithhim.Youcouldcallitacrush,butforme,itwaspurelove.He’d
beenmyoneandonlywishoneverysingleoneofmybirthdays.
“Iwould’vethoughtyou’dbehappytosee
me,too,Olive.Ifnothappy,hell,maybealittleexcited.Myegoistakinga
realbeating.”
“Sorry,”Isaid,wincingalittle.“It’s
beena…aweirdday,tosaytheleast.”
“Stillnotadmittingthatshemissedme,”
hemutteredalmosttohimself.Hiseyesseemedtobetakingineveryinchofmy
face,yetIchosetofocusonaspotoverhisshoulder.Hisfacewasn’tstrange
tome,asminewastohim.AndIrememberedthattenderlookalltoowell.
Hell,itwasjustoneofthethingsthatmademeswoonforhim.
“You’reawriter,”hecommented,asifthe
thoughthadjustoccurredtohim.
“Lookslikeit.”
Hehitmewiththatdimpleagain.“Tonight
I’llbereadingyourwords.”
Panicking,Isaid,“Oh,youreallydon’t
haveto.It’snoteventhatgood.It’smyfirstbookandthesepeopleareplain
crazy.”Hissmilegotbiggerandbigger.“Imightevenbegettingpunkedright
now.I’mbeingserious,youwouldn’tevenlikeit,Jason.Andwhatkindofamovie
starareyouthatyouhaveenoughtimetoreadabook?”
Therewassexinthatbook!Pounding.
Fucking.Sucking.Orgasming.
Oh,deargod.Therewerewordslikecock
andpussy!
Hechuckled.“Nowyou’veintriguedmeeven
more.I’llhavetoreaditassoonasIgethome.Plus”—heliftedafingerwhen
Iopenedmymouthtoobjectagain—“IjustsaidI’mintothestudioexecswho
areinterestedinturningyourbookintoafeaturefilm.IthinkIshouldknow
whatI’msigningupfor,don’tyouthink?”
“Whydidyouevensaythatifyouhaveno
ideawhatit’sabout?”
“Myagentdraggedmehere,sayingitwasa
goodchoiceforme.I’mguessingheknowsaboutyourbookandItrusthim.”
“Fine.Yougodothat.Ihavetogo.”
Takingasteptomyright,Iopenedthedoor.“Itwassogoodtoseeyou.Goodbye
now.”
Hiseyeslitup.“There’sthelittleOlive
Iknow.”
BeforeIcouldpullmyhandaway,he
grabbeditasifhewasgettingreadytowalkakidacrosstheroad.
Whydidmyheartfluttersomucheverytime
hetouchedmeeventhoughitwasobviousthathestillsawmeashisbest
friend’slittlesister,thekiddo?
“Whatareyoudoing?”IaskedasIwas
beingpulledtowardfreedom.
“I’lldropyouoffwhereveryouwantto
go.”
“Youdon’tevenknowwhereIlive.Whatif
it’sanhouraway?I’mseriouslystartingtodoubtyourmoviestarstatus.”
Again,thatchuckle.“It’llbefun.I
promisetoentertainyoutheentirehour,littleone.”
“It’snotanhour.Seriously,Icanget
thereinlikenotime.”
“Thenyouwon’tsuffertoomuchinmy
presence.”
“Wereyoualwaysthisstubbornwhenyou
werelittle?”Iasked,startingtogetalittleannoyedaboutbeingpulled
aroundlikeadoll.
“Oh,sweetheart,”hesaidsoftly,looking
overhisshoulder,theannoyingdimplewinkingatme.“Youwerealwaysthe
littleone,notme.”
ChapterSevenJason
AfterpushingareluctantOliveintomy
car,Iroundeditandgotinasshewasmumblingsomethingaboutkilling
someone.
Amused,Iasked,“Arewegoingonakilling
spree?”
Istillcouldn’tbelievemyeyes,thatshe
wasactuallythere.
Frowning,shelookedatme,herhand
jerkilypullingontheseatbelt.“What?”
“Easytherekiller.”Ismiledandleaned
overhertotakecareofherlittledilemma.
MynosewasalmosttouchinghercheekMmm.
Shesmelledlikeapples,freshandsweet.
Ifeltherstiffen.
MylittleOlive.
Securingher,Ileanedbackandmyeyes
zeroedinonherpartedlips.“Thereyougo.”
“Thankyou,”shemumbled,lookinganywhere
butme.Ilookedaway,too.
“So,youweremutteringaboutkilling
someone?”
“Lucy.Myfriend.”
“Whatdidshedotodeservesuchagruesome
death?”
Startingthecar,Idiscreetlyglancedat
her.
Thelittlegirlwhohadalwaysgivenmethe
biggestsmileswaslonggone.Whileitlookedlikeshehadn’tchangedatall,I
kneweverythinghadchanged.ItlookedlikeIwasn’tthereceiverofanysmiles
anymore.
“Ican’tbethatbadofcompany,canI?”I
askedbeforeshecouldreplyaboutherfriend.
Shegavemeasmallsmile.Notoneofher
beautifulonesthatusedtolightuphereyesandflushhercheeks,butstilla
sincereonenonetheless.
“No,youarenotthatbad.Youcandropme
offatUSC,I’llfindmyfriends.”
“Yougothere?”
“Yes.”
“Comeon,Olive.Don’tbelikethat.Tellme
moreaboutwhatyou’vebeenupto.Istillcan’tbelievewefoundeachother
hereoutofalltheotherplacesinLA.”
“Acoffeeshoporsomethinglikethat
would’vebeenmorelikeit,wouldn’it?”
“Exactly.Astudioexec’soffice?Nowayin
hell.”
Shechuckled.“Itisalittleweird,isn’t
it?”
“Weird?Idon’tknow,probably.Younever
wereanordinarygirl,though.”
Stoppingattheredlight,Ifacedher.She
waslookingoutthewindow,herhandsrestingonherlapintightlittlefists.
Ituggedatastrandofherstrawberryblondehair—whichlookedmuchlighter
thanithadyearsbefore—andshelookedatme.Ismiledandsaid,“Hi.”
Shebitonherlowerlipandsmiledbackshyly.
“Hiback.”
“Imissedyou,littleone.Ididn’teven
knowhowmuchuntilIsawyou.”Hersmilefalteredabit,butshemanagedto
turnitintoalopsidedsmile,whichlookedstrangelyattractiveonher.
ThelightturnedgreenandIhadtogivemy
attentiontotheroad,specialcargoandallthat.Severalminutespassedbywith
neitheroneofussayinganything,thenwebothspokeatthesametime.
“Didyou—”
“CanI—”
Ichuckled.“Yougofirst.”
“Ijustwantedtoaskwhyyoustopped
callingDylan.Forawhilethere,heusedtogettouchyifsomeonementioned
you.Ithinkhedidn’twanttoshowhowupsethewas.Iknowit’snoneofmy
businessandyoucertainlydon’thavetoanswerifyoudon’twantto,butI’ve
alwayswondered.”
Whenthecarinfrontofmestoppeddueto
traffic,Ichangedlanesandsloweddown.Rubbingthebackofmyneck,Ilet
outadeepbreath.
“Youdon’thavetoanswer,”sherepeated
beforeIcouldformananswerinmymind.Ididn’thaveagoodenoughreasonto
givetoher.
“No,it’sokay,littleone.Iknowitwasa
shittythingtodoaftereverythingyourfamilyhaddoneforme.Tobehonest,
thefirstfewweekswerereallyhard.Maybeyouremember,”Isaid,glancingat
her.“MyfatherandIwereneverclose,andmymother’sdeathdidn’tchange
anythingonthatfront.ThedayIleftyouguys,hedidn’tevenspeakoneword
tometheentireridehere.Whenwefinallymadeit,heshowedmetoanempty
roominabighouseandwentbacktohisclients.Justlikethat.Ibarelysaw
him,andhecertainlydidn’tcarewhatIwasdoing.Unfortunately,itonlygot
worseafterthat.Ididn’twanttobethatkidwhoonlycalledtocomplain.
And,don’ttellyourmom,butIthinkifIhadtalkedtoEmilyabouthowIwas
doing,Iwould’vebrokendownandcriedlikeababywhenIheardhercallme
sweetheartinthattoneofhers.LyingtoDylanwassurprisinglyeasier.”When
shedidn’tsayanything,Icontinued.“Andintime,withschoolandthenthe
moviestuff…”
Itsoundedlameeventomyownears.
“I’msorryyouhadaroughtimewhenyou
firstgothere,butyoumustbesohappynow.I’mgladthingsturnedoutfor
thebetter.Whenwewatchedyourfirstmovie,IthinkIsawMomwipeawaytears
morethanafewtimes.”
“Shecriedforanactionmovie?”
“Youwereshot,andwell,Ithinkshecried
becauseshewasproudofyou.”
Anarrowstraighttomychest.Whenmy
motherhadpassedoutfromherdailydrinking,consequentlylockingmeoutfor
thenight,Emilyhadtakenmein.Afterthatnight,I’dstayedattheirhouse
morethanIhadatmyown.She’dbeenabettermomtomethanmyowncouldever
be.DylanwasmybrotherandOlive…well,Olivehadbeenmyfriend,too.They
weretheonlyfamilyI’dknown.Itwasassimpleasthat.
“Youreallydidn’tmissme?”Iasked,
tryingtodiffusetheheavyquietinthecar.“Didn’twaitbythephoneformy
call?Comeon,don’tbeshy.Youcantellme.”Iwatchedheroutofthecorner
ofmyeye.
Shelaughed.Itwasbeautifultowatch.
“Idefinitelydidn’twaitbythephone.”
“Butyouadmittomissingme,don’tyou?”
“Maybe,”shesaidsoquietlythatIwasn’t
evensureifI’dheardherright.
Whenherphonerang,shegavemean
apologeticlookandansweredit.
“Whereareyou?No.Okay.Yes,the
meetingisover,I’monmywayback.Ok,I’llbehomesoon.No!No,wait
inside.Lucy,Isweartogod,ifIfindyououtside—Hello?Lucy?Damnyou!”
“Somethingwrong?”Iasked,amused.
“No,it’sokay.Well,goodnewsforyou,
youdon’thavetodrivemeallthewaytoUSC.We’reclosertothehouse.”
“Lucyisyourroommate?”
“Oneofthem.”
“Howmanyroommatesdoyouhave?”
“WithLucy,three.”
“Isithard?”
“Notreally.Imean,we’reallfriends,so
Iguessit’seasierthanitwouldbeiftheywerecompletestrangers.”
Aftershegavemetheaddress,wewere
quietfortherestoftheride.Fuck,butIcouldn’tstopglancingather.She
hadthesamelittlenose,thatsamesparkinhereyes,yetshewassodifferent
thanwhenIhadlastseenher.Theworstpart?Shehadboobs—boobsbigenough
thatthey’dcushionedmyarmwhenIhadaccidentallyencounteredthemasI
securedherin.
Fuckme,butmylittleOlive—thesame
littlegirlIhadprotectedfromshittybullies—wasnotsolittleanymore.
“Isthistherightstreet?”IaskedwhenI
tookarightturn.
“Yes.Youcanstophere.Itookenoughof
yourtimealready.”
“Don’tbelikethat.Tellmewhichbuilding
itis.”
“MaybeIdon’twantyoutoknowwhereI
live.”
Igaveheranexasperatedlook,andshe
gavemeanannoyedone,whichonlymademelaugh.
Shehuffedandpointedtoanoldbuilding.
“Doyouseethosethreepeoplewaitingthere?”
“Thatoldbuilding?”
“Yeahthatone.”
Comingtoastopinfrontofthebuilding
shehadpointedout,Iturnedofftheengine.
“Isthisplacesafe?”Iasked,leaning
towardhertoglanceatthebuildingthroughherwindow.
“Safeenough.”WithaquicknessIwasn’t
expecting,sheopenedthedoorandgotout.Leaningdowntolookatmethrough
theopendoor,shesaid,“Thankyoufordroppingmeoff,Jason.Itwasreally
nicetoseeyouagain.I’mgladwedidthis.Don’treadthebookbecauseitkinda
sucksifyouaskme.Haveanicelife.Bye.”
Sheshutthedooronmysmilingface.Ah.ShewasactingasifshecouldgetawaythateasilynowthatI’dfoundher.
Chucklingtomyself,IreachedformyRay-Bans
andsteppedoutofthecar.Followingher,Iwatchedagirlseparatefromthe
othertwoandrunstraightintoOlive’sarms,allscreamingandjumping.
Theothergirlhadanequallybigsmileon
herfacewhenshefinallyreachedthejumpingduo.Theguy?Hedidn’tlookthat
happyatall.
“Startfromthebeginning,youhavetotell
useverything.Dotheywantthemovierights?Didyousayyes?Howmuchdid
theyoffer?WhowillplayIsaac?”Iheardherfriendaskrapidly.Icouldn’t
hearOlive’sanswers,butIwasawarethatshewastryingtoherdthemback
towardthebuilding.
Andshehadn’tnoticedme—yet.
“Olive,”Isaidnexttoherearwhenher
friendfocusedontheothertwoandwaslookingoverhershoulder.
“Jesus!”shescreamedturningaround.
ChapterEightOlive
Myheartbeatinginmythroat,Iturned
aroundtofindJasonsmilingatme.
“Notsofast,littleone,”hesaid.
Grabbinghisarm,Imanagedtopullhima
fewstepsaway.“Whatareyoudoing?Theywillrecognizeyou!”
Ichancedalookbehindme.FromwhatI
couldseeofthethreeopenmouths,itwasalreadytoolate.
“Sowhat?Iwanttomeetyourfriends.”
“Jason.Areyousureyouareokay?
Shouldn’tyoube…Idon’tknow,alittlemoreconcernedaboutbeinginpublic?”
“Nooneisaround.It’sokay,Olive.Relax,
Iwon’tembarrassyou.Ipromise,”hesaidinadifferenttone.
Myheartclenched.“Itwasn’tthat.I’m
sorry.Let’sintroduceyouthen.”
Lucywasthefirstonetoclosehermouth
andgrinlikeacatthatwasabouttobatheinthecream.
“YoumustbeLucy,theonewhoisfacinga
bloodydeath,”Jasonsaid,givingherasinceresmile.
“Yep,that’sprobablyme.”Lucyhadthat
starrylookinhereyeswhenshefinallyshookJason’shand.
“ThisisCharlotte,andMarcus.”Itook
overwhenLucyfinallyletgoofhishand.
“Nicetomeetyouguys,”Jasonsaid
WhenLucyglancedatmequestioningly,I
sighed,“Jasonhadameetingaftermine,andtheywererunninglate,andthen
hewasinmymeetingsoherecognizedmeandofferedtodropmeoff.”
Thatshortbuttothepointexplanation
wouldonlyholdheroffuntilwegotintoourapartment.
“Youtwoknoweachother?”Marcusasked
withaconfusedfrownonhisface.
Marcuswasacompletelydifferentmatter.
Hewasmyroommateandmyex,andthemoremybooktookoff,themore
annoyedhegot.
IfeltJason’shandonthesmallofmy
back.Itwasalighttouch,butitwasenoughtomakemyentirebodybuzzwith
excitement.
Stupid,traitorousbody
“Jasonwasmybrother’sbestfriend.Heused
topracticallylivewithus,”IsaidtoMarcus.
“Younevermentionedthat.”
“I’msorry?Ididn’tthinkyouwouldbe
interestedinknowingthat.”
Lucycutin.“Oh,shutup,Marcus.Iknew,
andfrankly,that’senough.Wouldyouliketocomeup?”sheaskedJason,
softeninghertone.
“Iwouldloveto,butI’mafraiditwill
havetowaituntilnexttime.”Turningtome,hesaid,“CanIseeyourphone?”
“Why?”Iaskedsuspiciously.
“IwanttogetDylan’snumber.”
Ah,right.It
wasn’tlikehewouldwantmine.Nodding,Itookitoutofmybagandhanded
itover.
“Olive.”Gettingmyattention,Chartouched
myarm.“I’mdyingtohearwhathappenedatthemeetingandifyousaidyes,
butIhavetomeetwithmystudygroup…”Sheglanceddownatherwatch.“In
halfanhour.I’llcatchupwithyouwhenIgetback,ok?”
“Sure,we’lltalkwhenyougetback.”
Blowingusaquickkiss,sheslippedaway.
BeforeIcouldaskJasonwhyitwastakingso
longtogetDylan’snumber,Marcuscaughtmyeyes,shookhishead,turned
around,andleft.
“What’swrongwithhim?”IaskedLucy,
makingsureJasoncouldn’thear.
“Whoknows?Heisinoneofhismoods,I
guess.Don’tworryabouthim.”
Jasonhandedmyphoneback,ourfingers
touchingforaquicksecond.
Thoseold,childishbutterfliesI’dthought
werelonggone?Theyallcamebackwithavengeance,whichscaredmemorethan
anythingthathadhappenedthatday.
“IputmyownnumberinthereandIwant
youtocallmewheneveryouneedanything,ok?”
AsifIwouldeverrepeatthatmistake
again.
“SinceIhaveafeelingyouwon’tdothat,
I’llmakesuretotextyouassoonasIstartreadingthebook.I’llletyou
knowwhatIthink.”
“You’renotgoingtoletitgo,areyou?”
Hisgringrewbigger.“Notachancein
hell,littleone.”
AfterhesaidgoodbyetoLucy,helookedat
meonemoretime.Then,cuppingmyfaceyetagain,hepressedanunexpected
kissonmyforehead,renderingmecompletelyspeechless.
“I’llseeyousoon,”hesaid,andthenhe
wasgone.
“Now,”Lucystartedasshehookedherarmin
mineandstarteddraggingmetowardourbuilding.“I’mgonnaholdmytongue
untilwetakethosestairsup,getinyourroom,closeyourdoor,andlaynext
toeachotheronthatbed.Thatshouldgivebothofusenoughtimetotakein
whatjusthappened.However,whenourheartsfinallystopgoinghaywireover
thatfinepieceofass,you’llanswereverysinglequestionIask.Isthat
understood?Nodifitis.”
Inodded.
***
“Waitaminute.Hepulledyououtofthe
meeting?Butdidyousayyesbeforehedraggedyouout?Isthisawesomemovie
happeningornot?”
Iwasjustasbaffledasshewas.“Itlooks
likeitis.”
Weweresittingnexttoeachotheronmy
bed,facingthewindowthatlookedouttoanalreadydarkeningsky.Myroomwas
onlybigenoughtofitaqueenbedandasmallcloset/dresser,butsincemybed
wasslightlybiggerthanherfullone,itwasourregularmeetingspotforlate
nighttalksandsnacks.
“Andwhyarewenotmoreexcitedaboutthis
huge,hugelife-changingthing?You’rekindamakingitsoundlikeit’snothing.”
“SeeingJasoneclipsedthatlittlenugget.
Oh,Lucy.”Closingmyeyes,Isighedandfellbackontomypillows.“Iacted
likeatotalidiot.IwasmortifiedwhenIsawhimwalkinthatdoor,butthen
whydidIfeelthatrushwhenhegrabbedmebymyhand,orwhenhelookedatme
asifhewasreallyseeingme?Whydid…”Istruggledtofindtherightwords.“Why
didmyheartfeellikeitwasburning?”Ithrewmyarmovermyeyesand
releasedasigh.“ButthenIrememberedhowmuchithurttoreadwhathethought
ofmethatnight,andIcouldn’tlookhimintheeyes.IcalledhimMr.
JasonThornforcryingoutloud!Imadeacompletefoolofmyselfinfront
ofeveryone.”
LucygentlylaydownnexttomeandI
openedmyeyestolookintoherstormygrayones.
“Butthewaterfalltrickworked,didn’tit?
YouwereallcalmandcollecteduntilHotnessOverloadwalkedinandyour
ovariesexplodedalongwithyourheart.”
Ismiled.“That’sonewaytoputit,I
guess.”
“Doyoustilllovehim?”sheaskedaftera
longbeatofsilence.
Ichuckled.“Alongwithmillionsofother
women.Whodoesn’tloveJasonThorn?”Lucyignoredmyanswerandpointedlykept
lookingatmeuntilIgaveup.“Heisnotthesamekidwhosleptrightacross
frommyroom,Lucy.I’mnotinlovewithhimlikethatanymore.”
“Idon’tbelieveyou,mygreenOlive.”She
boppedmynosewithherfingertip.
“Itdoesn’tmatterwhetheryoudoornot.I
doubtI’llseehimagainanytimesoon.”Ipattedherarm.“Don’tworrythough,
I’lltakeyoutoseehisnextmovie.Youcanstillsalivatewhileyouare
watchinghisabs.Isn’tthatcomingoutlikenextmonth?”
Afterseeingandtalkingtohimagainafter
somanyyears,wouldn’titbeasolidkickinmystomachwhenIsawhimkiss
hiscostar?AndrightwhenIwasstartingtogetusedtoseeinghiminalip
lock.
Shesighed.“No,stilltwomonthsaway.And
anyway,it’snotthesameasseeinghimfacetoface.Doyouthinkhewould’ve
takenhisshirtoffifyou’daskednicely?I’mforeverruinedafterseeinghim
showthatdimpletoyouandthenkissyourfreakingforehead.IfIdidn’tknow
youstilllovedhim—”
“Idon’tlovehim.”
“Iwould’vejumpedonhimandquite
possiblylickedthatdimplewhilemyhandsaccidentallywanderedtoplaces
everygirlwouldgivetheirfirstborntogetapeekat.”Shedidawholebody
shudder.
“Ahh,don’tbedisgusting.”Imadeafunny
faceather.“Anddon’tdothattoanyguywhenI’maround,please.”
“Why?Lickingisanaturalurge.Whenyou
thinkofit,youactuallystarttolearnhowtolickproperlywhenyouarejust
kid.Allthoselolliesandicecreamsyoulickedtodeath?Thatwasjust
training.Doyouthinkhewouldn’tloveitifyoulickedhisdimpleandlet
yourhandsroamaroundforbit?”
“Heseesmeashissister,Lucy.Ofcourse
hewouldn’tlikehavingmytongueanywherenearhisface,ormyhandforthat
matter.”
“Sayswho?”
“Sayseveryguywho’shadabestfriend’s
littlesisterfallinlovewithhim.Whenyouthinkaboutit,itactuallydoes
soundalittleannoying.Thereheistryingtohaveafamilymoment,whichhe
didn’tgetathisownhome,andthereIampoppingupwhereverhegoes,
stickingtohimlikeaglue.Hewasjustniceenoughnottosayanythingtomy
face.”
Lucyturnedfullytowardme,hereyes
sparklingwithmischief.“Maybehe’llfallinlovewithyouthistimearound.
ThenIcouldseehisabsanytimeIwanted.Damn,Icouldquitepossiblyget
awaywithcoppingafeel.”
“I’dsaydon’tholdyourbreath.Igaveup
onthatdreamexactlysevenyears…fourmonths,andsomedaysago.NotthatI’m
countingoranything.”
Lucysnorted.“Ofcoursenot.”
Myphonepingedwithanewtextmessageand
beforeIcouldevenliftmyheadoffthepillows,Lucywasoffthebedanddigging
intomyhandbag.
“Whoisit?”Iasked.“IsitChar?Canyou
textherbackandremindhertobuytoiletpaperonherwayback?Therewasno
wayIwasgoingtoasktheJasonThorntostopatthegrocerystoretobuy
sometoiletpaper.Whyareyousmirking,Lucy?Whatdidshesay?”
“Oh,IhaveafeelingI’mgoingtolove
this,”sherepliedwithanevilgrinonherfaceasshetypedawayananswer.
“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
Shethrewthephoneatme,almostbreaking
mychinintheprocess,andranoutofmyroomstraighttoherown.
Perplexed,Ilookeddownatthetext
messageIhadgotten…andevidentlyanswered.
Jason:TheMarcusguy,yourboyfriend?
Me:No,justtheex.I’monehundredpercent
single.
“Ihateyousomuch!”IyelledasIheard
theansweringcacklecomingfromherroom.Thephonepingedwithanewone
again.
Jason:Good.Idon’tlikehim.
Quickly,Itypedback.
Me:Whyonearth?
Jason:Ididn’tlikethewayhetreatedyou.
Me:Youonlysawhimforafewseconds,howwould
youknowhowhetreatsme?
Jason:Ihaveeyes.
Me:Howsurprising.Ihadn’tnoticed
Jason:Justgotoffthephonewithyour
brotheraftertalkingtoyourparents.Allisgood.Hesayshi.Afterdinner,
I’mgoingtodownloadyourbookandstartgettingreadyformyupcomingrole
Me:Gladyouwereabletopatchthingsup.
Talktoyouinafewyears.
“Olive?”IheardLucyyellfromthesafety
ofherownroom.“Thesuspenseiskillingme!”
“Istillhateyou,”Iyelledback.
“Oh,Iloveyoutoo,but,Imeantwhatis
hetexting?”
“You’llneverknow.”
Shecameoutofherroomandgavemethe
mostinnocentlookwiththosepoutyredlipsandinnocenteyes.
Justwhenshewasabouttositdownnextto
me,Marcusappearedatmydoor.
“Olive,canwetalkforasecond?”
Istraightenedupandinvitedhimin.
LucyeyedMarcusforafewsecondsbefore
shelookedatmeandsaid,“I’mgoingtohopintheshowerbeforeIgotobed,
Ihaveanearlyclassinthemorning.BeforeIsleep,I’mgonnastalkyour
Amazonrankingforawhile.TalktoyoulatermygreenOlive.”
Theythreweachotherhostileglancesas
MarcusenteredmyroomandLucygotout.Itwasn’tthatLucyhatedMarcusasa
person—they’dactuallybeenfriendswitheachotherlongerthantheyhadbeen
withme—shejusthatedthefactthatMarcushaddumpedmebecausehethoughtI
wasspendingtoomuchtimewiththefictionalcharactersI’dcreatedinmy
mind.HeneverthoughtIwouldactuallypublish,letalonebesuccessfulonmy
firsttryasawriter.Honestly,neitherhadI,butthatwasn’tthepoint.
Closingthedoor,hecrossedhisarmsacross
hischestandleanedbackonthewall,watchingmewithsilenteyes.Whenhe
didn’tlikesomething,healwaysdidthat.Alwaysstaredyoudownuntilyou
squirmedinyourseatbeforeheactuallyopenedhismouthtoletyouknowwhat
waswrong.
“Isthiswhatyouwanttodowithyour
future,Liv?”
Ohandalso,heneverevercalledmebymy
fullname.Hefounditridiculous.
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Charsaidyouskippedaclasstoday.”
“Yes,”Isaidslowly,wonderingwherehe
wasgoingwiththat.“Ihadameeting.”
“Isthatwhat’simportanttoyounow?
HangingaroundmoviestarsandsquealingwithLucy?”
“Iknowonemoviestar,Marcus,onlyone,and
Jasoninsistingongivingmearidehomeisn’texactlyhangingaroundabunch
ofmoviestars.LikeIsaiddownstairs,Iwassevenyearsoldwhenwemethim,as
afamily,notjustme.Hewasbarelyeleventwelvehimself.Hewaslikeasecond
brothertome.”
IwonderedhowmanytimesIwouldhaveto
liewithastraightfacebeforethedaywouldend.Butitwasn’texactlyalie,
wasit?Hedidseemeashissister.Itwasmeandmyheartwhohadmuddledthe
watersinmyownhead,andallofthataside,IstillcaredwhatMarcusthought
ofme.
DespitewhatLucyandCharthought,forthe
shortyearweweretogether,I’dbeenallinwithMarcus.Hewasintelligent,
interestedinme,confidentinhimself,andhadavisionforhisfuture—oneI
wantedtobepartof.HavingarelationshipwithsomeoneIalreadysharedahouse
withhadbeenoddlyexciting.Andthesex?Thatwasgoodtoo,especiallywhen
weweresneakingaroundCharandLucy.
Ithadfeltlikewewererightforeach
otheruntilhedecidedtoslowlytearmedownandmoldmeintosomethingI
wasn’tevergoingtobe.
Hequirkedhisbrow.“Areyousure?You
didn’tlooklikesomeonewhohadseenherlonglostbrothertomedownthere.”
“Whydoyoudothistome?”Iasked,
genuinelycurious.
Hetiltedhishead.“Whatdoyoumean?”
“Questionmyeverymove.Underminemy
decisions.MakemefeellikeIcouldn’tpossiblydoanythingrightinyour
eyes.Ipublishedabook,Marcus.Peopleareactuallyreadingit.Alot
ofpeoplearereadingit.Afuckingmoviestudiowantstooptionmybook.Why
can’tyoubehappywithme?Forme?Whyareyoubringingmedownlikethis?”
“That’snotwhatI’mdoing,Liv,”hesaid,
comingtositdownnexttome.Heliftedhishandasifhewasabouttogripmy
thigh,butthenletitrestonthebed,nexttomyknee.“Youlostsomuch
weightwhileyouweretryingtowritethisbook.Hell,sometimesyoudidn’t
evenhavetimetoshowerbeforeyourclasses,letalonehangoutwithme.Our
relationshipendedbecauseofthisbook,becauseyouweremoreinlove
withyourfictionalcharactersthanyouwerewithme.Evenwhenyouarenot
writing,youarelostinyourdreams.”
“That’snotwhyitended,Marcus.I’dbeen
writingthisbookforyears,longbeforeyou,butyoualreadyknewthat.When
westartedsomething,youknewhowmuchitmeanttome,finishingthis
book.”
“Maybethat’swhatyouwanttobelieve,but
it’snotwhathappened,Liv.Ithoughtonceyoupublished,youwouldtake
thingseasier,patchthingsupbetweenus,butnowIcanseethatit’schanging
youfortheworse.”
Shocked,Iresponded,“I’veskippedone
singleclass.Howcoulditpossiblyhavechangedme,Marcus?AndevenifIwas
skippingclassesleftandright,youalsoknowthatI’menoughontopofmyclasses
thatI’mgraduatingearly.”Neitheroneofussaidanythingforashorttime.
ThenIsoftenedmyvoiceandtriedagain.“DidIunknowinglydosomethingthat
wouldmakeyouthinklikethis?Ifthat’sthecase,ifIdidsomethingorsaid
somethingthathurtyou,I’msorry.Nomatterwhathappenedbetweenus,you
knowIcareaboutyou.”
“Icaredaboutyoutoo,Livy.”
Pasttense.
Herosefromhisseatandstoppedbythe
door.“Whenyoudecidetocomebacktoreality,Ireallyhopeitwon’tbe
alreadytoolate.”
“I’msorrytohearyouthinklikethis,
Marcus.Truly,Iam.”
WhenIdidn’tsaywhathewasobviously
expectingmetosay,henoddedcurtlyandleftmealoneinmyroom.
Feelingslightlyangryathimforsomehow
managingtopullmedownwhenIhadeveryrighttofeelexcitedaboutmy
accomplishment,Ijumpedoutofmybed,pulledthedrapesshut,andturnedoff
thelights.
WhenIwascomfortablysnuggledundermy
covers,IclosedmyeyesandtriedtoignorethefactthatMarcusstillhad
enoughpowerovermetogetundermyskin.
Soonenough,Ifellintoafitfulsleep
whereIwasstillalittlegirlwhodreamedandwishedforthingsshecould
neverreach.
***
Whenadoorslammedshutwithenoughforce
towakethedead,Istartledawakewithagasp.Catchingmybreath,Ihadto
blinkafewtimestogetmybearingsandrealizethatIwasinLosAngelesand
notinmychildhoodhome.Pattingthebedinsearchofmyphone,Igaveupwhen
Icouldn’tfinditandinsteadgotuptocheckonLucy.
“Lucy,”Iwhisperedandknockedonherdoor
quietly.Whentherewasnoanswer,Iopeneditandsawshewasalreadydeepin
sleep.Closingherdoor,Ipaddeddowntothekitchentograbawaterbottle
andgetbacktomyroombeforeIcamefacetofacewithMarcus,justincasehe
wastheonewhohadslammedhisdoor.
WhenIwassafelybackinmyroom,Iturned
onthelightsandfinallyfoundmylostphonedownonthefloorbythebed.
Seeingthetwonotificationsfornewtext
messagesfromJason,myheartdecideditwastimetohaveaheartattack.I
huggedthephonetomychest,tookadeepbreath,andexhaled.Wantingtobe
aloneinthedark,Iturnedoffthelightsagainandgotbackinbed.Myphonewas
stilltightlyclaspedinmyhands.
Justlikeitwasyearsandyearsago,Ithought.
NowthattherewasnobodyaroundandIwas
allalonewithmythoughts,everythingthathadhappenedthatdayseemedlikea
dream.SeeingJason’snamelightupmyscreenwasdoinginexpressiblethingsto
myheart.
BeforeIcouldworkmyselfinto
hyperventilation,Iopenedhistexts.
Jason:Icanseewhyyoudidn’twantmetoreadthis.
Ohshit!
Jason:Areyouawake?
Myheartstutteredtoanalmoststop.
Doeshehateit?
Hehatesit
Thelasttexthadbeensentfifteenminutes
ago.
Icontemplatedsaying,Yes,I’mawake,
butdecidedagainstit.Wehadseeneachother,talkedtoeachotherenoughfor
aday.Ididn’twanthimtoseemeastheoldOlivewhotrailedafterhimto
gethisattention.
Ifhewantedtosayhowmuchhehatedmybook,
tomorrowwasjustasgoodasanyday.
ChapterNineOlive
Someonepokedmycheek.“Wakeywakey,
sleepyhead.It’stimetogetup.”
“Goaway,”Imurmured,diggingmyhead
deeperintomypillow.
“It’salmostnineo’clock,”whinedLucyabove
me.“Youhavetogetup.”
IopenedmyeyesandsawLucy’supturnedface
loomingovermewithanoverlybrightsmile.Quickly,Iclosedmyeyesshut.
“You’relikethoseannoyinghousecatswe
alwayswatchonFacebook,”Imumbled.“WhydoIhavetogetup?Idon’thavea
classtoday.”
“Becauseweneedtogetoutandcelebrate
yesterday’smeeting.AndI’mnotacat—I’moffended,woman.I’macutepuppy
everyonewantstotakehome.”
Unabletostopmyself,Iyawnedagainand
reluctantlyopenedmyeyes.Thankfully,shewasnolongerinchesawayfrommy
face.
“Whattimeisit?”
“Nine.”
“We’recelebratingatnineinthemorning?
Whosebrilliantideawasthat?I’mgonnasayno.Comebackatareasonable
hour.”
“Comeon,Olive.”Shepulledatmycovers.
“Youdon’thaveaclass,butIdo.Sogetup,getup,getup.”
“Jesus,youarelikeafive-year-old.”
“Ifyoudon’twantmetodumpabucketof
coldwateronyou,you’llgetup,getyourselftogether,andbebythedoorin
lessthanhalfanhour.”
“Fine,”IsnappedasIswungmylegsdown
andpushedathershoulder.“Getoutofmyway.”
Sheclappedherhands.“That’sthespiritI
waslookingfor!”
Intwentyminutes,Iwasallready
togoout,butneitherLucynorCharwereready.
“I’mabouttogooutandcelebrateonmy
own,”Iyelled,standingbythefrontdoor.
“I’mcoming!”Lucyyelledatthesame
momentCharopenedherdoorandslippedoutofherroom.
“Youhaveaclass,too,Char?”Iasked,
noticingthebigbundleofbooksshewascarrying.
“Unfortunately,yes.ThenIhaveanother
studysessionwiththegirls.”
“Yousureareworkinghardlately.Isthere
anythingIcanhelpwith?”CharwasashyandsweetblondewhowasanEnglish
majorlikeme,butunlikeme,shehadnointerestincreativewriting.
“That’sniceofyoutoaskwitheverything
you’vegotgoingon.Imighttakeyouuponthatofferwhenfinalsaregetting
closer.”
“Ofcourse.Actually,itwouldhelpmea
lot,too.”AsmuchasIhatedgivingintoMarcus’words,Ididn’twanthimto
berightaboutwhathesaid,especiallywhenIwassoclosetograduating
early.
“Yourbookisstilldoingamazingonthe
rankings!”AjumpingandscreamingLucycamebarrelingtowardme.
“Herewegoagain,”Charmutteredwitha
smileinhervoiceasIbracedmyselfforimpact.
Twosecondslater,Lucy’sarmswerearound
myneckandwewerejumpingupanddown,celebratingherexcitementovermy
bookforthe…thousandthtime?Ifitwasn’talreadythethousandth,weweresurely
gettingprettyclose.
ThetruthwasIwasstayingawayfromchecking
reviewsandrankingsandallthatstuffbecauseIwasscaredshitlessthatall
ofitwouldtumbledownonmeatanymoment.Lucywaslikeabloodhoundanyway;
shehadrefreshedthosepagesalmosteveryhour,onthehoureversincethebook
hadgoneuponAmazontwomonthsbefore.MyfearwasalsothereasonIwas
tryingtolockdownmyexcitementaboutthepossibilityofseeingIsaacand
Evieonthebigscreen.OnceDreamCatchStudiosprovidedmewiththe
contract—iftheywereseriousaboutit—andIsignedit…thenIwouldeithersit
downandcryforafewdays—happytears,ofcourse—orIwouldpullaLucyand
gocrazyalloverthetown—naturally,withherbymyside.
“Stillinthetophundred?”Iasked,the
slighttingeofhopeinmyvoicemorethanclear.
Sheflickedherhairoverhershoulder.
“Trytopfive,woman.You’restillkillingit.”
I’dstayedasthenumberonebestselling
bookonmorethanafewplatformsforalmostsixweeks,andIwasstillinthe
topfiveaftertwomonths?Igaveintotheurgeandcompletedanotherjumping
sessionwithLucy,notnoticingMarcusleaningagainstthedoorframeand
watchingus.
Thenwewereoutoftheretocelebratewith
lattesandcroissants.
Itwaswellwortheverydamncaloriethat
wentstraighttoourhips.
***
Itwasalmostfouro’clockwhenJason’s
nameflashedonthescreenofmyphone.Iwasalone,sittinginourliving
room,staringblanklyatanemptyworddocument,tryingtofigureoutwhich
directionmymindandheartwantedtoleadmethistimearound.Needlessto
say,neitherofthemwasspeakingtomeatthatmoment.
Urgingmyhearttostopflutteringaround
likeawildbirdinmychest,Itookadeepbreathandansweredthecall—atthe
sametimewonderingifitwasweirdofmetogetsoworkedupoverasimple
phonecall.
“Hi.”
“Hey,littleone.I’mnotinterrupting
anything,amI?”
“Nope.HowcanIhelpyou?”Iaskedbefore
tippingmywaterbottleagainstmylipstowetmysuddenlyparchedthroat.
“Soformal.”Heclucked,andIcouldalmost
seehimshakinghisheadasasmallsmilestretchedacrosshisface.“Soon
enough,I’llwinyouover.Youalreadylovedmeonce;I’llmakeithappen
again.”
SputteringwateralloverthecheapIkea
coffeetablethatwasstationedinfrontofthecouch,IcougheduntilIcould
speakwithoutgulpingbreaths.
“What?”IwheezedoutwhenwhatIwantedto
saywas,Oh,Jason,I’mstillheadoverheelsforyou,maybeevenmoreso
“What’sgoingon,Olive?Areyouokay?”
“Yeah.Yeah,”Irepliedinaroughwhisper.
“Justwaterdownthewrongpipe.I’mfine.”
“Well,okay.Youscaredme;Ithought
someonewasstranglingyou.”
“Yeah,nothingthatexciting.”
“Beingstrangledisexcitingtoyou?”
“Notforme,butdefinitelyforsome
people.Don’tknockit’tilyoutryitandallthat.”
Heseemedtothinkaboutitforasecond,
thenclearedhisthroatbeforespeakingagain.“Ok,wearenotgoinganywhere
nearthat.Youshouldn’tevenknowaboutstufflikethat.”Ididaladylike
snortbutheignoredme.“Youneveransweredmytextslastnight.”
“Yeah,Ididn’twanttobotheryou.”Igot
upandwenttostandnexttothewindow,countingthecarsthatpassedonour
street.
“Iwastheonewhotextedyou;whywouldI
bebotheredwhenyouactuallywentaheadandansweredthem?”
“Itwaslate.Ijustthoughtyouwouldbe
occupied,orout.Whydidyousayyouwerecallingagain?”
“You’reterribleattryingtochangethe
subjectsmoothly,littleone.Fromnowon,youcananswermytextswhenever.I
forgottotellyouyesterday,butpleasemakesurenooneelsegetsmynumber
fromyourphone,allright?It’spurehellwhensomebodygetsaholdofit.”
“Ifyouareworriedaboutmyfriends,don’t
be.Lucyistheonlyonewhoknowsmypasswordandshewouldneverdoanything
likethat.Shemight’velookedalittlecrazywithallthejumpingand
screamingyesterday,butsheisn’tsomeonewhowouldstealyournumberandthen
botheryou.”Ipausedandthoughtaboutitforasecond.“However,shemight
gropeyouifsheeverseesyouagainsoyoucanworryaboutthatifyouwantto,
butthat’sasfarasshewouldgo.Still,ifyouareregrettinggivingmeyour
number,Icandeleteitrightnow.”
“Thistryingtogetridofmethingisa
hugeblowtomyego,littleone.Ihopeyou’llstopbeforeyoudosome
permanentdamage.”
“Ididn’tmeantosound…well,mean,Ijust
don’twantyoutoworryaboutit.”
Feelingtoowiredtojuststandinone
place,Istartedpacingthelivingroomfromwalltowall.Whywasn’thejust
tellingmewhathethoughtofthebook?Evenifhe’dreadafewpages,surely
hewouldhaveanopiniononit.
“I’mnotworrying,andthereasonI’mcalling
rightnowisbecauseIwantedtoletyouknowthatItalkedtoKeith,theguyfrom
themoviestudio,andtheywillsendtheoptioningagreementtomyagent
insteadofdirectlytoyou.”
Istoppedmypacing.“What?Whywouldthey
dothat?”
“BecauseIdon’twantthemtotake
advantageofyou.Tomwillgooverthecontractforusthenwe’llmeetatmy
housesoyoucansignitifyouarehappywitheverythingtheyareoffering.
Justletmeknowwhenyou’llbefreeandI’llarrangeit.Itneedstobeinthe
nextfewdaysbecauseIhavetoleaveforCanadaonFriday.I’llbeoutoftown
forafewmonths.”
“Oh,”Imumbled,mostlytomyself.That
littlepieceofnewssettleddowninthepitofmystomach,soIbitdownonmy
thumbandtriedtocomeupwiththerightthingtosay.“Thisistoomuch,
Jason.DespitewhatIsaidyesterday,I’msureyoudon’thavethiskindoftime
onyourhandstobabysityouroldbestfriend’slittlesister.”
Hecoughedandroughlycursedontheother
endoftheline.
“Youokay?”Iasked.
“Yeah.Sorry.Look,thisisn’taboutDylan.
Thisisaboutyou.Wouldn’tyouletDylanhelpyouifhewasinmyplace?At
theveryleast,youcanseemeasastand-inforyourbrother.Iwon’tlet
anyonetakeadvantageofyourwork,Olive.You’llgetwhatyoudeserveand
nothingless.”
Whathe’djustsaidhurledmebacktomy
heartbrokenfifteen-year-oldselfagain.ItlookedlikenomatterhowmuchI
grewup,hewouldneverseemeasanythingbutasister.
Idumblynoddedandrealizedhecouldn’tsee
methroughthephonesoIforcedmymouthtoopenandgivehimthewords.
“Thankyou,Jason.Iappreciateit,”I
said,inadulltone.“Uh,Ihavetogorightnow.Myfriendsarewaitingfor
me,butI’lltextyoutoletyouknowwhichdaysI’llbefree.Youcanarrange
thetimeaccordingtoyourschedule.Idon’twanttobeabiggerburdenthenI
alreadyam.”
“Littleone,”hesaid,softeninghistone.
“Youcouldn’tbeaburdentomeevenifyoutried.”
“Thankyou.GoodbyeJason.”
Beforehecouldsayanythingelse,Iended
thecallthenpoweredoffmyphonecompletely.
Itwasachildishandstupidmove,butI
didn’twanttoriskhearinghisvoiceagainontheoffchancehedecidedto
callmebackwhileIwasbusyfeelingsorryformyself.
Laterthatnight,afterIhadalongtalk
withmymom,IlearnedthatshehadaskedJasontolookafterme.Sincehewas
beingcastasIsaac,shehadthoughtwewouldbeworkingtogether.Ihadto
explaintoherthatIwouldn’tbeinvolvedinthefilmingprocess.
Afterdoingsomeresearchonthesubject,
I’dalreadylearnedthatnodirectorwantedtheauthortogetinthewayofhow
hewantedtoshapethemovie.Hewasthebigdoganditwouldmeannothingto
himwhethertheauthorwashappywiththeprocessornot.
Detailsofthemovieaside,Iwasn’tsure
howIshouldfeelaboutJasonhelpingmeoutasafavortomyfamily.
IspentsometimethinkingaboutwhatI
shoulddo…okay,maybenotalotoftime.Afterall,whointheirrightmind
wouldpassupthechanceofspendingmoretimewithJasonThorninhisown
house?Imean…comeon.EventhoughIwasn’tasbraveasLucyandwouldn’tgrope
himatfirstcontact,therewouldbenostoppingmefromoglinghisbodyand
thatdamndimpleofhis.
Iwasdonefeelingsorryformyself.
“Bringiton,JasonThorn,”Imutteredwith
arenewedconfidenceinmyself.Afterallthoseyears,I’dbecomethemasterof
lovinghimfromfaraway.Itwouldbestupidofmenottotakeadvantageofour
situation.
Reachingformyphone,Isenthimaquick
textlettinghimknowthatIhadnoclassesonThursday.
AfterIwentthroughmynightlyroutineand
returnedtomyroom,hisansweringtextwassittingprettyinmyinbox.
Jason:I’llpickyouupat6PMandwe’llwait
forTomatmyhouse.Untilhecanjoinus,pleasetrynottobruisemyegomore
thanyoualreadyhave,littleone.
Ifellasleepwiththebiggestgrinonmy
face.
ChapterTenOlive
Thursdaymorning,Islowlywokeupfrommy
dreamlesssleepandbecameawareofaheavyarmlyingacrossmystomach.
“Whatthehell?”IsaidgroggilyasI
forcedmyeyesopenandfoundLucysprawledalloverme.
Atthesoundofmyvoice,shesnuggled
closerandthrewoneofherlegsovermine.
“Lucy,”Igroaned,tryingunsuccessfullyto
pushheraway.“Gobacktoyourownbed,dammit.Foronceletmesleepin
peace.”
“Ican’t,”shemuttered,notevenbothering
toopenhereyes.“Jamesonfellasleepafteroursexathon.Imighthave
accidentallyfriedhisbrain.NomatterwhatIdohewon’tbudge.”Herface
snuggledclosertomybreasts.“Mmmm.Howdoyoumakeyourboobsfeelsosoft
yetsofirm?Ilovesleepingonthem.Best.Damn.Pillows.Ever.”
“I’mthinkingIshouldsleepwithmydoor
lockedfromnowon.”
“Icanpicklocks,remember?”
“Right.Well,Ican’tgobacktosleepwith
youpawingallovermesogobacktoyourowndamnbed.”
“Ican’tsleepinthesamebedwithhim.”
Blindly,shepattedmyface.“Thisiscomfy.Yougobacktosleeptoo,youare
breathingtoomuch.”
“Sorrytoinconvenienceyou,youcrazy
octopus.Whythehellcan’tyousleepinthesamebedwithhim?”
“Because.”Shestretchedoutthewordasif
shewastalkingtoachild.“Itwasaone-nightstandandheisbreakingthe
rules.IfIfallasleepwhenheisinthesamebedwithme,itwillturnintoa
relationship.”
“Andwhatiswrongwiththatagain?You
salivateeverytimeyouseetheguy,nottomentionthisisprobablythe20th
timeyou’vehadaone-nightstandwithhim,whichisn’tthewayone-night
standsworkatall.Havearelationshipwiththeguyforgod’ssakeandsaveus
allthetrouble,please.”
“Aurmmyusleepmy,”shemumbled,already
fallingasleeponme.
“Lucy!”Iyelled,loudenoughtowakeher
up.
Shejoltedawake,hersleepyeyesmeeting
mine.“What?Wherearewegoing?Who’sdead?”
“Youareabouttobeifyoudon’tgetoff
me.”
“Tonight,youneedtofuckJasonThorn’s
brainsoutorwe’regonnahavetofindsomeonetogetyoulaid.Likepronto.”
Huffing,sheturnedherbacktomeandcomfortablysettleddown,hoggingmy
pillowsandmuttering,“Alwayssoselfishaboutherboobs.”
“I’mstartingtofeelsorryforJameson.”
“Don’t.Unlikeyou,hegotitgoodandhard
lastnight.”
“Pleasestoptalking.Idon’tneedthe
details.”
“Notgivingawayanydetails,youprude.
Justsaying,itwasprettysatisfying,andyoucouldusesomeofthat
satisfaction,too.I’mstillsoreinalltherightplaces.”
“Gotit.Thanks.Now,gobacktosleep.I’m
beggingyou.”
Whentherewasnoanswerfromher—whichwas
abigsurprise—IclosedmyeyesandhopedIwouldgetafewmorehoursof
sleep.
Afewminuteslater,Lucyspokeup.Again.
“Olive?Areyouawake?”
“No,”Igroaned.
“Good.AreyougoingtofuckJasonThorn’s
brainsouttonight?BecauseIdowantdetailsofthat.Likeeverylittledirty
detail.Ishefatandcurvy?Shortandfat?Veiny?Thickandlong?Canyou
imaginehowluckyyou’dbeifthatwasthecase.Behonest,youneversneaked
intothebathroomwhenhewastakingashower?Ibetevenateighteenhisjunk
wasimpressive.”
“Areyoudone?Whattimeisitanyway?”I
mumbled.
“6AM.”
“I’mgoingtokillyou.”
“Sureyouwill.Andno,I’mnotdone.I
wantmoredetails.Ineedmoredetails.Likehowdoeshekiss?Doeshe
kissthewayhekissedinFastMoneyordoeshekissthewayhekissed
inWhat’sLeftofMe?”Icouldfeelherturninginbedtofaceme,
gettingmoreintoit.“Imeanit’simportanttoknowthesedetails,youknow?
What’sthereality?Willhegentlycupyourfacewhenhekissesyou?Orwillhe
threadhisfingersthroughyourhairandroughlyholdyouagainsthisbody?
“You’vespentalotoftimethinkingabout
this,haven’tyou?”Iaskedfinally.
“Whothehelldoesn’t?”
“IfIeverfindoutanyofit,I’llmakesure
toletyouknowsoyoucandieinpeace.Canwepleasegotosleepnow?”
“CanIspoonyou?”
“Willitgetyoutosleepfaster?”
“Promise.”
“Justthearm.”
“Justthearm,”sherepeated.
Shesnuggledcloserandslowlyputherarm
aroundmywaist.“Thankyou.”
Tryingtobeasgentleaspossiblewithmy
words,Isaid,“IthinkJamesonisakeeper,Lucy.”Underthetoughexterior
sheshowedtotheworldwasthesweetestandmostromanticgirlI’deverknown.
ShewasevenmushierthanIwas,andthatwassayingsomething.Theonly
problemwasthatshenevertrustedamanenoughtoshowherweaknesses.Despite
that,theguysleepingintheroomrightnexttouswasprovingtobea
stubbornone.Ialwayslikedaguywhoknewwhathewantedandwasn’tafraidto
toughitoutuntilhegotit.Inthiscase,mymoneywasonJameson.
“AndIthinkweneedtocomeupwith
aplanonwhatyoushoulddowithJasonThorn.”Istartedtoprotest,butshe
talkedoverme.“No,hearmeout.Youareaknockoutwhohasbrains,andyou
alreadyhaveaconnectionthere.”
“Canwetalkaboutthissomeothertime?”
“Beforeyouleaveforyourdatetonight?”
“It’snotadate,we’rejustgoingovermy
contractwithhisagent.It’sa…workthing.”
“Yousaytomato,Isaytomato.”
“God,youtalktoomuchinthemornings.”
AfterthatIcompletelytunedheroutand
finally,afterseveralminutesoftryingtoengagemeinaconversationabout
Jason,shegaveupandletusgetsomesleepinpeace.
***
“IthinkI’malittleinlovewithyour
car,”IsaidafewminutesafterIgotinJason’scarthatnight.
“Yeah?”heasked,smirking.
“Yeah.Ilovethemidnightblack,andthe
redleatheraccents.Oh,andhiseyesaresocutewhenyoulookathimfromthe
front.”
“Him?MySpyderisn’tahe,woman,and
nothingaboutheriscute.Sexy?That’sahellyes.Cuteeyes?No.”
Ishrugged.
I’dhadChardistractLucyformeasI
escapedfromthehousebeforeshecouldcornermeanddiscusshernewlymade
plans.She’devenmadealistwiththetitleHowtoGetJasontoFallCrazy
inLovewithGreenOlive.Herreasoningbehindtheimportanceofthelist?
Sheneededhimtofuckmybrainsout.InherprettylittlemindshethoughtI
washerbestbetforgettingsomeanswerstoherquestions.Allinall,having
effectivelyescapedthatlineofthinking,Ifeltprettygoodaboutthe
evening.TherewasnothingworsethanhavingLucymakingyouherpetproject.I
wasalreadystrugglingwithbeingnearJasonasitwas;Ididn’tneedtothink
abouthowcertainpartsofhimlookedwhenhewasnaked.
Hishomewasonahillsideoverlookinga
breathlessviewofBeverlyHills.Strangely,upuntilIsawthebeautiful,ornate
steelgates,Ihadn’tfeltoutofplacewithhim.Afterhedidsomethingonhis
phoneIcouldn’tquitesee,thegatesopenedandhedroveupthedriveway,
stoppingtheenginewhenwereachedtheenormouswhitedoorsofhishome—or
smallmansionwasmorelikeit.
“Wow.”IbreathedoutasIsteppedoutof
thecar.“Thisisamazing,Jason.”Lookingaroundinaweatthewell-keptgarden
thatsurroundedtheplace,Ihadthesuddenurgetotakeoffmyshoesand
simplywalkaroundonthegrass.
“Youlikeit?”heaskedwithanodd,innocent
smileonhishandsomeface.“Youdon’tthinkit’soverthetop?”
“You’reafull-blownHollywoodstar,
Jason,”Isaid,unabletotakemyeyesoffofeverylittledetailaroundthe
house.“Itwouldbedisappointingifyouhadarun-downhouse.Yourgirlfriends
mustgoevenmorecrazyoveryouafterseeingthisplace.”Asifasincere
smilefromhimwasn’tenoughtomakeyouhandoveryoursoultothedevil.
“You’rethefirstgirlI’vebroughthere.”
Iglancedaroundonelasttimeandwalked
tohisside.“Whatdoyoumean?”
Hescratchedthebackofhisheadthen
gesturedformetofollowhimtothefrontdoor.
“IguessyoucouldsayI’malittleweird
aboutthat.Thisismyhome,myescapefromademandingindustry,inaway.I’m
constantlysurroundedbythousandsofpeoplewhenI’moffsomewherefilming.Forget
aboutfilming,everyoneknowseverydetailofmylifewhetherIwantthemtoor
not.WhenIcomehome,Iwantthisplacetobeuntaintedbyallthat.Idon’t
evenhaveastaffthat’saround24/7.Ilikemyprivacyalittletoomuch,”he
saidasheopenedthedoorandinvitedmein.
Alittletooexcitedaboutseeinghishome
forthefirsttime,Isteppedinside.“So…you’resayingtherearenooutrageous
Hollywoodpartiesinmyfuture?Damn,Iwashopingtosnaganinvite.”
Helaughed.Thethroatysoundwasentrancing.
Aswewalkedthroughanarrowhallway,our
armsalmosttouching,Icouldn’ttakemyeyesoffofhimandhissmilingeyes.
“HowaboutI’llpromisetotakeyouwithme
ifI’meverinvitedtoanoutrageousHollywoodparty?”
“Yesplease.”
WhenthehallwaycametoanendandIsaw
theopenplanofthelivingroomandthekitchen,Igaspedandwalkedaheadof
himstraighttothefloor-to-ceilingglasswallsthatrevealednotonlya
killerview,butanexpansivebackyardwithaninfinitypoolandahottub.
Myfaceaninchawayfromtheglasswindow,
IfeltJasoncomeupbehindme.“Cantheyburymehere?Willyouletthem?
Please?Ijustwantmyghosttositoverthereandlookdownatthecity,and
maybewalkaroundthegrasseverynowandthen.Iwon’tbothertohauntyouat
all.”
Hechuckledagain.“Ididn’tthinkyou’d
enjoyitthismuch.”
“Areyoukiddingme?Iwouldgivepretty
muchanythingtocometothisplaceattheendofeveryday.”Givingthepoola
longinglook,IfacedJason.
“Seriously,thisisamazing,whatyou’ve
accomplished,whatyou’vebuiltforyourself.Itwillprobablymeannothingto
you,butI’mproudofyou.Soproudtohaveknownyouwhenyouweren’tsucha
hotshot.”Givinghimasmallsmile,Ishrugged.“I’malsogladthatyoulived
withusforaslongasyoudidbackthen.OtherwiseIwouldn’thavegottenthe
opportunitytoannoyyouasmuchasIprobablydidwhenIwasakid.”
Ifeltafamiliartugonmyhairashe
hookedhisarmaroundmyneckanddrewmetohisside.Iletmyshakyhandrest
onhischest,nearhisheart.Whenhislipstouchedmyforeheadandhedidn’t
loosenhisholdonme,Iclosedmyeyesandletmyheartenjoythepeace.
Whenhedrewback,myheartwasgoinga
mileaminute.Lookingintomyeyes,hesmiled.“Youhaveneverinyourlife
annoyedme,littleone.IfIdidn’thaveyoulookingafterme,whowould’vealways
givenmethefirstandbiggestslicesofthosepiesyoumadewithyourmom?”
Ichuckled.“Doyourememberthefirsttime
youcametoourhouse?Ipromisedyouthebiggestsliceoftheapplepieand
endedupgivingyouhalfofthedamnthing.Icanstillseetheshockonyour
facewhenIbroughtitover.”
Hiseyestwinkledwithlaughter.“Howcould
Iforget?Youlookedsopleasedwithyourself,justwaitinginfrontofmeto
hearwhatIthoughtofyourbakingskills.”
“Yeah,well,Iwasn’tsohappywhenmymom
swoopedinandtookthethingrightoutofmyhandsbeforeIcouldgiveitto
you.”
“Youbroughtmefiveslicesworthofpie,
littleone.Afteryourmom’sdinner,Ibarelyhadenoughroomtoeatone
piece.”Hisvoicehadgonequietwhenhiseyesmetmine.
“Well,Iwasheartbroken,”Isaid,equally
softly.
Hisdimplebeckoningmetotakeavery,
verysmalltaste,Jason’seyeslookeddownatmewithsuchawarmnesstothem
thatIdidn’tknowwhattodoorwhattosayforseveralseconds.
CouldIhandlebeinghisfriend?
CouldIignoremyheartbeggingand
screamingagainstmychest?
Didheevenwanttobemyfriend,orwas
thisjustaone-time-onlyfavorkindathing?
Theloudringtoneofhisphoneburstour
littlebubble,andhetookhisarmsawayfrommetoanswerthecall.
“Tom?Yes.Takeyourtime,we’llbeokay.
Fine,callherandcomeupwithanewstrategythen.”Endinghiscall,he
turnedtome.“He’llbehereinanhourorso.IhadAlvinbringinChinese
takeout,youhungry?”
“Alvin?”
“Myassistant.You’llmeethimsoon
enough.”Ashepaddedtowardhisbeautifulkitchen,Ifollowedafewsteps
behindhim,admiringthewayhisshouldersmovedwitheveryrelaxedstep.
Don’tlookathisass,Olive.Just
don’t.
Outsidetheglasswalls,theskywasslowly
darkening,andsuddenlytheentirebackpatiolitupwithdimlights,making
theentireplacelook…magical.
“Olive?”Jasoncalledmynameinanamused
tonewhenhespottedmestrayingtowardtheglasspanelstotakeacloserlook.
Withasigh,Imadeitbacktothelong
kitchenbarasJasontookoutmorethanafewtakeoutbagsfromoneofthe
cupboards.
“What’sfordinner?”Iaskedhoppingonto
oneofthebarstoolsandalmostslidingrightoffofit.
Jesus,whyinthehellwouldtheymakethe
seatsosmall?
Tryingtobeallcovertaboutit,Ipushed
myselfuponthefootrestagainandtriedtositonitsidewayssoitwould
looklikeIwasactuallysittingcomfortablyonthestupidthing.
Asmyarmsstartedtoburnfromtryingto
balancemyself,IgaveupandjumpeddownbeforeIfelloffagain.
Aftertakingoffmyleatherjacket,I
roundedthehugeislandandcametostandnexttoJason.
Peeringintooneoftheboxes,Iasked,“Oh,
chickenchowmein,dowehavebeef,too?”
“Thankfully,wehavetwobeefchowmeinand
twochickenchowmein,andallthisextrastuff.”
“Great.CanIhelpwithanything?”
“I’mtryingtofindthechopsticks,”he
mutteredasheemptiedallthebagsonthecounter.“Canyoucheckthedrawers
toyourleft?Ishouldhavesomeextraonessomewhereinthere.”
“Sure.”Pickingupalltheemptypaperbags
andsettingthemaside,Ileaneddownandtriedtofigureouthowtoopenhis
drawers.Sincetherewerenohandles,Ilightlypushedatthefirstone,andit
openedautomatically.
Irolledmyeyes.
Richpeople.
Itwasfullofknives,impressivelyorganized
bysize,butnochopsticks,soIpusheditback.
WhenIlightlytouchedtheseconddrawer,suddenly
thethirdonesnappedopen,hittingmejustbelowtheknee.Igaspedinpain
andhadtotakeastepbackwiththeunexpectedforceofit.
Theonlyproblemwas,insteadoffindingmy
balancelikethegracefulhumanbeingIwassupposedtobe,thebackofmy
thighshitanotherdrawerJasonhadopenedbehindme,andIlostmybalance.In
thatsplitsecond,IacceptedthefactthatIwasabouttofallrightonmyass;
Ijustwisheditdidn’thavetohappenrightinfrontofJasonfuckingThorn.
However,insteadoffeelingmyasshitthe
floor,Ifeltonehandfirmlyclosearoundmyleftboobasanarmhuggedmeright
undermybreasts.Foramoment—foralooongmoment—bothofusstood
still,mybottomparalleltothefloor.Jason’shandflexedonmybreastasif
hewascheckingthesizeofit,andtheotherdroppedlowertowardmystomach.
“Fuck,”hecursedinaraspyvoiceright
nexttomyear,andthewordsentshiversdownmyspine.
Please,howcouldIhavenotclosedmyeyes
tolivethatshivertothefullest?AndsowhatifIdidarchintohistouchjust
alittlebit?Maybebarelyheldbackamoan?Whocouldblameme?Iwasjusta
human,afterall.
Whenhesuddenlypulledawayhisrighthand
frommystomachasiftouchingmehadburnedhisskinoff,mylegsshookandI
reachedforthefirstthingIcouldgrabonto.
Hishand.
Theonethatwasstillcoveringmyboob.
Andfine,ifyoureallyneedmetoadmitit,
atsomepointImighthavekindofsqueezedhishandandthatmighthave
inadvertentlyforcedhimtosqueezemyboob.OrmaybeIhadgropedmyselfwith
hishand?Whothehellknows,andmoreimportantly,whothehellcares?Hands
touchboobsallthetime,allovertheworld.Ibet,atthatexactmoment,a
lotofboobswerebeingtouched.
“Littleone.”Hegrowledandhischest—oh,
deargod,hischest—hitmyback,holdingmefirmeragainsthim.
Onedeepbreath.
Twodeepbreaths
Hishandwasstillonmyboob,andmyhandwas—not
sosurprisingly—stilloverhiswhenIsaid,“I’msosorry.Just…justgivemea
secondtogetmybalanceback.”
Hisarmwrappedaroundmymiddleagainandhe
hoistedmeup.
WhenIwasnolongerparalleltothebeautiful
hardwoodfloorandfeltlikeIcouldmasterstandingstraightallbymyself
again,Ireluctantlyletgoofhishand,whichwasrestingcomfortablyonmy
breast.
AssoonashemadesureIwasokay,he
liftedbothhishandsoffmeandslowlytookafewstepsback.
Notknowingwhattosay,Ilookeddownand
sawthedamnchopstickssittingintheopenthirddrawer.
Iclearedmythroat,afewtimesactually.
“Ifoundthem.”
“Great,”hesaidafewsecondslater,his
voiceallrumbly.
Jesus!Talk
aboutdreamscomingtrue.
Nothavingthecouragetolookathim,I
snatcheduptwosetsofchopsticks,pushedthefreakingdrawerclosed,and
walkedbacktotheglasspanels.
Eventhoughmyfacewasprobablyasredas
afriggingtomato,Iwasgrinninglikecrazy.WhenInoticedtherewasnowayI
couldfigureouthowtoopenthepanels,Idecideditwouldbewisertowait
forJasonbeforeIbroughtthehousedownonus.
Twotakeoutboxesinhishand,hecameto
standbesidemewithasmallremotecontrol.
Whenalltheglasspanelssurroundingthe
livingroomandthekitchenareaopenedup,Itookmyfirststepouttoheaven
andtookadeepbreathofthecrispair.
“Itsmellsamazing,”Isaidinalowvoice,
notquitehavingthecouragetolookathisfaceyet.
“Itsmells…likegrass,”hesaid.
“Iknow.Iloveit.”Itookafewmore
steps.“Canwesitbythepool?”
“Wehaveatable.”Hepointedtowardabig
tableonthepatio.
“Isawthat,butIwanttodipmytoesin.”
Hishandtouchedmybackandheguidedme
towardthepool.
Pushingthechopsticksintomypocket,I
tookoffmyshoes,bentdown,androlledupmyjeans.WhenIwashappywiththe
length,Istraightenedupandstoodattheveryedgeofthepool.
“It’samazinguphere,Jason.”Whenhe
didn’tanswer,Iglancedbackandsawhimtakingoffhisshoesandsocks.Ibit
downonmybottomliptokeepmyselffromsmilingandturnedbacktofacethe
amazingview.
Takingthechopsticksoutofmypocketso
theywouldn’tbreakwhenIsatdown,Iloweredmyselftothegroundanddipped
mylegsintothepool.
Iclosedmyeyesandturnedmyfaceup
towardtheskywithasmallsmileonmyface.Therewasaquietsplashofwater,
andIknewJasonwassittingdowntoo.
“Thankyouforinvitingmeuphere,”Isaid
finally,openingmyeyestoglanceathim.
Hiseyeswerealreadyonme.Smilingback,
heshookhisheadandhandedmemydinner,grabbinghischopsticksbeforeI
couldhandthemtohimmyself.
“YouaredifferentfromwhatI’musedto,
littleone.DifferentfromthelittlekidIremember,”hesaidaswestartedeating
ourdinnerinacomfortablesilence.
“Differenthow?”
“Idon’tknowyet.”
Ithoughtaboutitforaminute,thenina
conversationaltonesaid,“Maybeit’stheboobs?”
Chokingonhisfood,hecoughedforagoodminute
whileIsatthereserenely,lookingstraightahead.
Atlast,inastrangledvoice,hesaid,
“Yeah.Itmightbetheboobs.”
Yup,hehadnoticedmyboobs.
Scoreoneformyboobs!
***
WhenTomfinallycamearound,itwasalmost
nineo’clock.
“I’msorryI’vekeptyouguyswaitingfor
solong.Iwaswithanotherclient.”
“Please,Ishouldbetheonethankingyou
forsparingtimeformeinyourhecticschedule,andIhavenoideawhat
percentageyoutakeforthesekindsofthings,butpleaseletmeknowsoI
can—”
“That’sbeentakencareof,youdon’thave
toworryaboutit,”Jasoncutin.
“But—”
“It’sokayMissTaylor—”
“PleasecallmeOlive,”IinterjectedasI
reachedoutforthepapershehadpushedinfrontofme.
Smiling,hecontinued.“Olive,it’sa
prettystandardcontract,butwe’llstillgooveritsoyoucandecideifthere
isaclauseyouaren’tfeelingcomfortablewith.”
Inodded.Iknewnothing,nothingatall
aboutthisstuff.
“Thefirstgoodnewsis,”Tomstartedas
JasongotupfromhisseatnexttometogetTomadrink.“Thisprojectis
neverhittingthe‘developmentlimbo’.”WhenIstaredathimblankly,he
explainedinabitmoredetail.
“Afteraproducerorastudiooptionsthe
movierightstoabook,thetimelineisusuallyaroundtwelvetoeighteen
monthsorsometimesevenlongertogettheproductionstarted,andevenafter
that,thereisnoguaranteethatitwilleverhappen.Inyourcase,theywant
tocapitalizeonthebuzzthat’sbeengoingaroundyourbook,meaningsince
they’vealreadysecuredabignamelikeJason,therestofitwillcomethrough
quickly.”
Reachingup,heacceptedthewhiskey—or
maybebourbon,eitherwaytheybothtastedterrible—fromJasonandkeptgoing.
“JasonwillbeinCanadaforawhilefor
anothershooting,thenhehaspressjunketswiththeothercastmembersofThe
Witness.Becauseofthat,theyareaimingtostartfilmingwhenJasonis
backinthecity.So,Olive,ifyousignthecontract,thisisdefinitely
happening.ThecastingforthesmallercharacterswillgetdonewhileJasonis
inCanada,buttheywillholdoffonchoosingtherightpersonforEvieuntil
JasoncanspareafewdaysandcomebacktoLA.”HeturnedtolookatJason.
“Weneedtoarrangeyourscheduleaccordingly.Theywantyoutositinonthe
auditionsforEvieanddoascreentestwiththeremainingfew.Youcancome
backonyourdayofffromthefilming.”
“Screentest?”Iasked,lookingbetween
JasonandTom.WhenIsaidIknewnothing,Imeantit.
“Ascreentestisamethodtheyuseto
determinethesuitabilityofanactororactressfortherole.Sincethebook
iscenteredonJasonandEvie’srelationship,theyhavetohaveastrongon-screen
chemistry.Itdoesn’tmatterifsomeoneacestheaudition.Theyneedtoseehow
sheworkswithJason,sohe’llhavetocomehereforthoselaststepsoftheaudition
process.”
“Theydon’twantmetoauditionatall?”
Jasonasked,frowningatTom.“IcandoareadingfromOlive’sbookinsteadof
waitingforthescreenplaytobedone.”
Tomtookasipofhisdrinkandshookhis
head.“Sincetheyknowyouareinterested,theywantyouinit,andyou’ve
alreadyestablishedyourselfasastrongactor.Theydon’tneedyoutoaudition.
Buttheotherstuff…”TomglancedatmebeforehardeninghisgazeonJason
again.“Theotherstuffweneedtotalkabout.Otherwise,everythingyou’ve
workedonwillgoupinflames.Youhaven’tseenyourcontractyet;thestudio
hassomerestrictionsoveryourpersonallife.”
“Fine.Igetit,”Jasonsnappedathim.“Leave
myshitoutofthis.You’llgetyoursaytomorrowatourmeeting.Justgo
throughOlive’scontracttonight.”Jason’sharshvoicemademeturntolookat
him.Withoutsayinganotherword,hegotupanddisappearedfromoursight.
Alittleconfused,Ihadtoforcemyselfto
focusonTomwhenhestartedtalkingtomeagain.
Accordingtomycontract,Iwouldn’thave
anysayonthefinalscript.Iftheyendedupchangingtheend—liketheyhad
hinted—Ididn’thavetherighttothrowafitoverit.SinceIwasanewauthor
andnotyetestablished,Tomdidn’tseeawaywherehecouldgetthemtomodify
thatspecificclause.Theoptionfeewasaflatfee,buttheinitial‘purchase
price’forthemovierightswouldbethreepercentoftheinitialfunding—witha
capofcourse.ThatwassomethingTomhadalreadynegotiatedfor,andIwould
begettingpaidwhenproductionstarted.
Intheend,wedecidedthattherewereonly
afewpointsworthnegotiatingbeforesigningit,andapparently,themost
importantonewaswhereandhowtheywouldbeusingtheauthor’scredit—meaning,
mynameandthebook’stitle.
Whenwewerefinallydonewitheverything,
Tomleft,andIfoundmyselfalonewithJasonagain.
“Theyactuallywantmybook,Jason,”I
said,huggingmykneesasIsatonthefancycouch.
“Theyhadyouintheiroffices,little
one,”heremindedmeashecametositnexttome.“Ofcoursetheywantyour
book.Didyouhaveanydoubt?”
“Yeah.Ithinkupuntilthismoment,I
didn’ttakethemseriously.”
“Andnow?Howdoyoufeel?”
Restingmytempleonmyknees,Ilookedat
himthroughblurryeyes.Iwashavingtroublecontainingmysmile.“You’re
probablygoingtofreakout,butImightstartcryingatanymomentnow.”
Icouldalreadyfeelmynosetingling
Hestoodupandofferedmehishand.“Come
on,I’llgiveyouabighug.Ifyouaregoingtocry,well,youdeservetohave
ahugwhileyoucry.”
CanIswoon?Andmaybetakehimdown
withmesowecoulddosomenaughtythings?
Smilingthroughmytears,Itookhishand.
AssoonasIwasonmyfeet,Ithrewmyarmsaroundhisneckandhuggedhim.My
toeswerebarelytouchingthefloor.
Ihadworkedsohardandforsolongon
thatbook.Myheartwasineverypageofit.Mysecrets,mydreams,mytears.
IthadtakenalotoftimeformetobehappywitheverysinglesentencethatI’d
written.
Andnowthatsamebookhadbroughtmeto
Jason’sarms.
Swallowing,Ileanedbackandlooked
straightintothosewarmbrowneyes.ThesameeyesI’dstolenglancesatacross
thedinnertablewhenIwasoldenoughtoknowIwasirrevocablyinlovewith
mybrother’sfriend.ThosesameeyesI’dshylymetwhenhewasonlyakid.
ThoseeyesI’dwatchedonthebigscreenforyears,longingaftersomethingI’d
neverhad,missingsomethingonlyhecouldmakemefeel.
FeelinghappierthanI’deverfeltinmy
life,Ismiled.“Mystorywillbeonthebigscreen.”
“Itwill,littleone.”Hesmiledback,his
darkbrowneyesholdingmygaze.Thedayafter,Iwouldobsessabouthowlong
hehadlookedintomyeyes,butatthatmoment…Ichosenottoquestionevery
unexpectedlittleglance,everyextrasecondofeyecontact.
“Thankyousomuch,Jason.Foreverything,
thankyousomuch.”
“Ididn’tdoanything,sweetheart.Thisis
allyou.”
“Thebook,yes,butthis.”Igesturedto
thecopyofthecontractIwouldbesigningifthestudioacceptedthechanges
wewanted.“ThisIwould’vescrewedupifIhadtodoitallbymyself.”
“Webothknowthatyou’dhavebeen
perfectlyfine,Olive.”
Therewasaslighthesitationonhispart,
butwhenhepressedanotherpreciouskissonmyforehead,Iclosedmyeyesandheld
ontohimtighter,certainIwouldhavetroublelettinghimgothistimearound.
ChapterElevenJason
“Okayguys,weneedtomakethisquick.I’m
goingstraighttotheairportafterthisisdone,”IsaidassoonasIentered
mypublicist’soffice.Alvinwasrightbehindme,typingawayathisphoneat
aninhumanpace.Iassumedhewasmakingsureeverythingwasreadyforour
arrivalinCanada.
“Alvin,”Megansaidasshegotupfromher
seatacrossfromTom.“Youarewaitingoutside.Closethedoorbehindyou.”
Aftergettingaquickconfirmationfromme,
hewasoutoftheroom.
“Okay.Layitonme.What’sthedamage?”I
tookmyseatinthemiddleoftheleathercouch,drapedmyarmsovertheback,
andforcedmybodytorelax.Thispartofmyjob,talkingaboutmyimage,my
fuck-ups…thiswasthepartIhateddeepinmybones.
Megangatheredsomepapersfromherdesk
drawerthentookherseatagain.Theybothhadequallygrimfaces.
“What?”Iaskedwhentheyglancedateach
other,obviouslytryingtodecidewhoshouldgofirst.
AfewsecondspassedandTomsighed;anyman
wouldwiltunderMeganMcDowell’shardstare.Shewasthebestpublicistout
there,thetoughestofthemall,butthatdidn’tchangethefactthatshewas
theonlywomanTomhadasoftspotfor.
“Megangotanemailthismorningandit
changeseverything.”
“Explain.”
“Lastweek,didyouhavesexwithJennifer
Widner…inthatalley,beforethepapsswarmedyou?”
Therewasnousedenyingit.IfIdid,they
couldn’tdothejobIpaidthemtodo.So,Ididn’t.“Yes.Theycouldn’thave
gottenanyshotsthough.Itwasaclosecall,I’llgiveyouthat.”Icheckedmy
watch.“Anyway,youbothsawthepicturesfromthatnight.Itwasimpliedthat
wewerehavingsex,buttheydidn’tgettheshots.Youalreadygavemea
lectureonit,Megan.”Istoodup.“Ifthiswasjusttoremindmetobehavein
Canada,there’snoneed.”
“Sitdown,Jason,”Meganorderedinacurt
tone.
Tomwasrubbinghisforehead;something
seriousmusthavehappenedforhimtoshowhisdiscomfortsoopenly.Notmuch
stressedhimanymoreafterworkingformefromtheverystartofmycareer.
“What’sgoingonhere?”
Shehandedmeapieceofpaper.Itwasa
copyofasingleemailsenttoMegan’semailaccount.
Ireadthecontentsofit.ThenIreadit
again.
“Isthisajoke?”Iasked,raisingmy
eyebrows.
“Unfortunately,itisn’t,”Meganreplied.
“You’rebeingblackmailed.”
Ilookeddownatthepaperinmyhands
again.“Fortwomilliondollars?”Iballedupthepaperandtosseditaway.
Leaningforward,IlookedstraightintoTom’seyes.“Ifyou’replayingme,if
thisissomethingyoutwoconcoctedtogethersoI’llgetscaredandcleanupmy
act,youtellmerightnow,Tom.IfIfindoutlater,youwon’tbehappy.
Neitheroneofyouwill.”
Tom’sjawhardenedandIsawhishandsform
intotightfists.“YouthinkIwoulddothistoyou?Ontopofeverythingelse,
areyououtofyourmindtoo?”
“I’mnotstupid,Tom.Thatalleywasempty.
IfsomeonewasfilmingmehavingsexwithGemma,orwhateverthehellhername
is—”
“Youdon’tevenrememberherfuckingname?”
“Iwould’veseenit,”Icontinuedoverhis
risingtone.“Thosepapscameoutoffuckingnowhereafterweweredone.
Bythetimetheygottous,itonlylookedlikeweweremakingoutor
something.”
“Obviouslysomeonewasthere,Jason,”Megan
counteredanddrewmyattentionfromTom’sangryface.“Whatgoodwoulditdo
ustomakeitlooklikesomeoneisblackmailingyou?Stopactinglikeyouknow
nothingaboutthisindustry.Whetheritwasapaporsomestrangerjustwalking
by,theyhaveyouontape.”
“I’mnotpayinganyoneanything,”Ispit
out.“Wedon’tevenknowiftheyhavewhattheysaytheyhave.”
“Irepliedtohisemail,askingforproof,”
Megancountered.“I’mhopingwe’llhearbacktoday.Asyou’vealreadyread
yourself,ifyoudecidenottopay,he’llsellittowhoeverpaysthebigbucks.
I’msurethey’llbemorethanhappytotakeitoffhishands.Wewillsend
ceaseanddesistletters,butonceit’sonline,youknowthatwhateveryoudo
itwillalwaysbeoutthere,andthatwillscrewyourcareerinamatterof
seconds.Atthispoint,we’rebeyonddamagecontrol.”
“Isthisanewkink?”Tompipedup.“You
havetofuckthemoutintheopen,whereanyonecangetafreeshow?”
“Watchit,”Iwarnedhimwearily,allthe
fightseepingoutofme.
Clearlynotdonewithme,hegotupfrom
hisseatandstartedtopaceintheexpansiveroom.
“Thisisthefifthincidentthisyear,”he
said,rubbingthebridgeofhisnose.“Onlythisyear,Jason.Thefirstfew,we
managedtosquash,butifthereisavideoandyourefusetobuyitbeforeit
goestoatabloidoranewsoutlet,thereisnothing,absolutelynothing
wecandotosweepitundertherugthistime.DoyouunderstandwhatI’m
tellingyou?”
Stoppingnexttome,hecontinuedonhis
tirade.“Doyouevengraspthefactthatyou’velosttwoprojects?Twovery
importantprojectswithsomebignames,andyoulostthembecauseoftheconstant
negativityinthepress.Theyaren’ttalkingaboutthemoviesyou’remaking.
Andnowthis?You’renotauselessrealitystar,Jason.Stopactinglikeit.If
youwereforty,I’dsayyouweregoingthroughamidlifecrisis,butyouhave
noexcuseforyourrecentbehavior.None.”Hewaitedforananswer,butI
wasn’tgivingone.“Whatdoyouthinkwillhappen?Noneofthestudio
executivesarehappywithyou.Thepressjunketsyouweresupposedtodo?The
wholeEuropeantourforTheWitness?Youarekickedout.Theydon’twant
youtobethecenterofattentionwhenyouaresupposedtobetheretopromote
theirfuckingmovie.You’llonlygototheopeninginLondon.You’refuckingup
yourentirecareer.”
Isaidnothing.Uptoapoint,hewas
right.OfcourseIknewthat.Iwasliterallyfuckingmycareerawayfor
nothingandIhadnocompellingexplanation.Iwasn’tdamagedbecausemymom
hadcommittedsuicide,orbecausemydadhaddiedfromaheartattackwhilehe
wasinbedwithahighlypricedcallgirl.Theydidn’thavethatkindofahold
onme.Theyhadbeenmybiologicalparentsandthatwastheendofit.
“Igetit,andyouareright,whichiswhy
IgaveyoumywordthatIwouldcoolitdown.”
“Coolitdown?”Helaughed.“You’renot
gettingit,myfriend.YourlittleOlive’smovie?Theoneyouaresurprisingly
excitedtobeapartof?Forgetaboutit.Thesecondthepublicseesthisvideo,
thestudiowillcutyouout.Itoldyoutheyhadrestrictions.Theydon’tevenwant
youtohavearelationshipwhileyou’refilmingandpromotingtheirmovie.Do
youthinkthey’llbeokaywithhavingyourvideoouttherewhiletheyare
gettingreadytoannounceyourinvolvementwiththeadaptation?”
Isatupstraighter.“Youtoldmeyourself
theydon’twantanyoneelse.TheywantmetoplayIsaac.”
“Yes,Jason.”Henoddedandletouta
sarcasticlaugh.“That’sexactlywhatItoldyou.I’msurprisedyouwere
actuallylisteningtome.”
Helosthissmileandgavemeahardlook,
waitingforsomething.
Themeaningofwhathewastryingtotell
mefinallysinkingin,Isprungup.“Shesignedthecontract,damnit!They
can’tgiveuponitjustbecauseIscrewedup.Thishasnothingtodowith
Olive’sbook.”
“You’reright,itdoesn’t.Butwhatdothey
care?Olivesigningthecontractmeansnothingatthispoint.Itisjustan
option.Youknowhowthesethingswork;letenoughtimepassandtherights
willreverttoher.”
Fromthecornerofmyeye,IsawMeganrise
upandgetonhercomputer.
“TheyonlyreachedouttoOliveTaylor
becauseItoldthemthatIwouldgetyouonboard.You’vereadthebook.Iknow
you’vereadthebook.Thinkaboutitforasecond.It’salmostasifitwas
writtenforyou.Whywouldtheywantsomeoneelsewhenyouaretheperfectfit?”
Turningaround,Ifacedhimagain.“What
thehellareyoutalkingabout?”
“Sometimesyoucanbesostupid,”hesaid,
groaning.Heapproachedmeasifhewasnearingadangerousanimal.“Yousaid
youwerechildhoodfriendswithOlive,right?”
Inoddedcurtly.“Ipracticallygrewupin
thesamehousewithher.Herbrotherwasmybestfriend.”
“Yeah,well,Ibelieveherinspirationfor
Isaacwasyou.”
“No.”
“Whythehellnot?”
“Idon’tdodrugs,Ineverdid.Youknow
this.AndGenevieveisIsaac’sfriend.Theyneverliveinthesamehouse.Olive
was…”Eventhoughshehadbeenmyfriend,Icouldn’tquitesayit.“Olivewas
myfriend’ssister.It’sdifferent.”
Herolledhiseyes.“Sowhat?Sheisa
writer.Sheusesherimagination.Thatversionofyoudoesdrugs.Thisversion
ofyoufuckseverythingthatmoves.Inpublic.Thatversionofyouisher
friend.Thisversionofyouwasherbrother’sfriend.It’sthesamefucking
thing!Themovieisn’taboutdrugs.It’saboutIsaacandGenevieve.Maybeshe
wantedtowriteahappyendingfortheboyshewasinlovewithwhenshewasa
kid.WhatthehelldoIknow?”Takingabreath,heloweredhisvoice.“AllI’m
sayingis,theexecswantedyoubecauseyouwereperfectfortherole:
Hollywood’stroubledboyfinallyfallinginloveonthescreen.Isaacisa
strongcharacter;hewould’vechangedthingsaroundforyou.Openedupnew
venues.Iwantedyouinthisprojectbecauseitwasgoingtohelpyourimagein
thepublic’seyeifitwasdoneright.Youmightseeitasjustanothermovie,
buttheviewerswould’veseenmorethanthat.Intheend,theywould’veleft
thetheaterthinkingaboutalltheheartacheyou’dgonethrough.Finally,they
would’veseenadifferentsideofyou,someonewhoiscapableoflove.”
“Nowyou’rejusttryingtopissmeoff.”
“Youthinkso?Showmeonestable
relationshipyou’vehadinthelastfewyears.”
Iranmyhandthroughmyhairandpickedup
thepacingwhereTomhadleftoff
“Itdoesn’tmeanI’mnotcapableoflove,
Tom.ForChrist’ssake,whyareweeventalkingaboutthis?I’mjustnot
lookingforanythingserious,especiallynotwithsomeonewhoisinthis
industry.Anddon’ttalktomeasifyoudon’tknowmyschedule.Idon’thave
timeforaseriousrelationship.Itisn’tasifIneverhadanyloveinterests
inthemoviesI’vebeenin.”
“Don’tgivemethat.You’veneverbeenina
relationshipwiththisintensity—onscreen.Sleepingwithyourcostarwhileyou
arerunningawayfrombulletsandbombsdoesn’tcount.”
Meganwavedherhandatusandhervoice
stoppedwhateverTomwasaboutspew.“Ithinkyouguysneedtoseethis.”
IreachedhersiderightafterTomdid.There
wasavideoonthescreen.Sheclickedplay.
Wewereallsilentaswewatchedtheforty-second
video.
“That’sit?”Iaskedonceitstoppedbefore
eitherofthemcouldstartupagain.
Meganspuninherchairtofaceme.The
fireinhereyeswasvisiblefromthatclose.“That’sit?That’swhatyouhave
tosay?”
“It’safuckingforty-secondvideosome
creeptookwithhisphone’scamera.Whatdoyouwantmetosay?”
“So,”shestarted,linkingherhandsinher
lap.“Whatyou’resayingis,noonewillunderstandthatthisisyou”—she
glancedbackatthescreen—“clearlyfuckingJenniferWidner’sbrainsout?
Becausemyeyesareworkingperfectlyfine,Jason,andIcanseeyourhips
pumpingintoherwhileherdressisscruncheduparoundherwaist.Icanalmost
makeoutyourdickgoingintoher.”Iwinced—notexactlywhatyouwanttohear
comingoutofyourpublicist’smouth.“Orareyoutellingmeyouwerejustdry
humpingheroutinthealley?Becauseifyouareabouttosuggestwetellthe
mediathat,I’llhavetoinformyouthatitwon’tworkbecausewecanclearly
seethecondomyouarethrowingawaywhenyourealizetherearepapsaround.
Whichisexactlywhenourlittlecameramanzoomsinonyourfaceandthenthe
fuckingCONDOMyoufilled.”
Iflinchedandgotbacktomyseatwithout
makinganyfurthercomment.
“Doweknowifthereismoretothevideo
thanthat?”IheardTomaskMegan
“Itdoesn’tsay.Thankfully,thereisno
sound.”
“I’mnotpayinghim,”IsaidfromwhereI
wassitting,interruptingthem.Ilookedawayfromtheirblankstares.“I’m
sorry.Iwon’tdoit.Hecansellittowhoeverhewants.Iwon’tmakehimrich.
ForallIknow,hewilljustforwardittoeveryoneafterhegetshismoney.”
Tomwalkedtowardmeandsatdown.“Look,
Jason.Thisisn’tajoke.Thiswillruinyou.Ifthishadbeentheonlything,
youwould’vebeenfine.Hell,wewouldbelaughingaboutit.Butthepictures
withZoeyinyourcarandeverythingelsebeforethat…Theywon’tletthisone
gothateasily,notwhentheyhaveprooflikethat.”
Leaningback,IlookedatMegan.“Youhave
thebestteaminHollywood.Dosomething.Hell,findmeagoodgirltodate,
someonetogogroceryshoppingwithatWholeFoodshandinhandeverynowand
then.Diverttheirattentionfromthis.JasonThorndatingsomeonewouldbe
moreofashockingstorythanablurrysextape,”Iaddedwithdisgust.
“Doyouthinkeveryoneisstupidandwon’t
seethroughthepublicitystunt?”Tomasked,gettingallworkedupagain.
“Everyidiotisgettingintoafakerelationshipthesedays.Noonewillbuyit
withyou.”HiseyesflickedtowardMegan,whowasstaringatmesilently.
“Aren’tyougoingtosaysomething?”
Sheshrugged.“He’sright;datingsomeone
won’thelpyoudealwithallthiscrap.Withthetimingofthis,they’llsee
rightthroughit.However,ifwefindsomeone—”
Aknockonthedoorinterruptedher
sentence,andasecondlaterAlvin’sheadpoppedin.“We’regoingtomissour
flight,boss.Weneedtoleaverightnow.”
Iwavedmyhand.“I’llbeoutinfive
minutes.”
Whenheclosedthedoor,Igaveallmy
attentionbacktoMegan.“Youweresaying?”
“You’renotgoingtolikeit.”
“Sofaryouhaven’tsaidanythingIliked,
whychangeitnow?”
“Ifwe’regoingtolieabouta
relationship,wehavetogobiggerthanthat.Youhavetodosomethingthat
willprettymuchswallowthiswholethingupalongwithyourprevious
transgressions.”
“Outwithit,”Isaidimpatiently.
Tappingherlongfingernailsonherdesk,
sheletoutalongbreath.“We’llhavetofindyousomeonetomarry.”
Istaredatherblankly.Then,lookingatTom’s
interestedgaze,Ilaughed.“Ithinkyou’vebothlostit.I’mnotpayingyouto
comeupwithastupidsolutionlikethat.Theywon’tbelievethatIwentahead
andgotmyselfagirlfriend,butthey’llbelievethatImarriedsomeonefor
love?Doyouevenhearyourself?”
“You’renotpayingtheguyoff.”She
shrugged.“SoI’mtellingyouthathavingyourpicturestakenwithafakegirlfriend
won’tmakeallthisgoaway.Youhavetodosomethingbigandstopallofthis
atonce.Andwhatdoesitmattertoyou?I’mnottellingyoutofallinlove
withher.Afakegirlfriend,afakewife—it’llpracticallybethesamething
foryou.Theonlydifferenceisyou’llhavetoliveinthesamehouseforafew
years.”
“Liveinthesamehouse?Afewyears?”I
laughedharder.“You’recrazy.Tom,youcan’tpossiblyagreewithher.”
“Doyouhaveabetteridea?”heshotback.
“Thepublic’sperceptionofyouhastochange;ifthisisthewaytodothat…”
Glaringatthemboth,Igotupfrommyseat
andwalkedtothedoor.Iwastemptedtofirethembothonthespot,butthey
werethebest,andapparentlyIwasn’tinaplacewhereIcoulddowhateverthe
hellIwantedanymore.
Istoppedbythedoor.“I’mnotpaying
anyone.Lethimreleaseittowhoeverhewants.”Openingthedoor,Isawan
impatientAlvinliftinghisbrowsandtappingathiswatch.
“Jason.”Tom’sresignedvoicestoppedme
frommovingfarther.
“Ifthis…afterthisgetsout,you’ll
stillgetoffers,buttrustmetheywon’tbethesameoffersyou’regetting
rightnow.You’vebeenplayingwithfire,andfrankly,you’reabouttogoupin
flames.”
Mygriponthedoortightening,Iturnedto
facetheduo.Overthepastfewyears,wehadbuiltagoodrelationshipamongus.
TheyknewwhoIwasandwhereIwantedtogointhisindustry,andIalways
appreciatedtheirguidance.Theyhadnevercorneredmelikethis.Theyalwaysoffered
meoptions.
“IwantOlive’smovie,”IsaidtoTom.“Do
whateveryouhavetodototiemetoit.Leakthenewstodaybeforethisgoes
outifyouhaveto.Idon’tcarewhatyoudo,justdosomethingsotheycan’t
backaway.”
Itwasreluctant,buthenodded.“I’lldo
mybest.”
ToMegan,Isaid,“Idon’tlikeyour
solution,Megan.Igetwhereyou’recomingfrom,but…anyway,itdoesn’tmatter.
Ihavetothinkaboutit.Iassumeyoudon’thaveanyblushingbridesreadyfor
metochoosefrom?”
Calmly,sheshrugged.“Imighthaveafew
names.”
“Ofcourseyoudo,”Imuttered.Ignoring
her,Icontinued.“WhenIgetbackfromCanada,youcanshowmeyourlistand
I’llthinkaboutitmore.That’saboutallIcandorightnow.”
Iturnedaroundtoleave.
“Jason,inCanadayouhaveto—”
“Don’tworry,Tom,”Iinterruptedhim.“I’m
notplanningonlettinganyonecomenearmydick.Notanytimesoonanyway.”
ChapterTwelveOlive
“Whatareyoudoinginthere,Olive?”Char
asked.
Idrewmyheadoutofthefreezerand
lookedatherovermyshoulder.“Haveyouseenmyicecream?Ihiditbehind
thepeas,butit’snotthere.”
Shelaughed.“I’mafraidyou’retoolate,I
sawLucyinhalethatlastnight.”
“Damnyou,Lucy,”Imuttered,givingupon
mysearch.
“Areyounervous?”
“Nervous?Who,me?Aboutwhat?”
Tiltingherhead,shewaitedexpectantly.
Rollingmyeyes,Imumbled,“Hehasn’tbeen
gonethatlong,justafewmonths,andhetextedmeeverynowandthen,but
yeah,I’mexcitedtoseehimagain.”EventhoughIknewIshouldn’thavebeen,
Iwas.“Andasifthat’snotenoughexcitementformyfragileheart,I’mgonnameet
thecastingdirectorandactuallybetherewhentheypickwho’llplayEvie.I’m
definitelyfreakingecstaticaboutthat.”
“You’resolucky.Iwonderwho’llcomeinto
auditionforher.IfKeiraKnightleyisthere,youhavetotakepictures.Aton
ofthem.Fromeverysingleangle.”
“Ah,Char,”IsaidasIhoppeduponthe
counterempty-handed.Iwantedtoeaticecreamtocalmdownmynerves.“Talking
aboutKeiraKnightleyisn’thelpingatall.IfIseeKeiraKnightley,I’mgoing
toembarrassmyselfevenmorethanIdidthelasttimetheysawme,andIdon’t
wanttothinkaboutthat.”
Walkingaroundme,sheopenedthe
refrigeratorandtookouttwosmallboxesofapplejuice—takingadvantageofa
sale,wehadboughtthemthedaybefore.Handingoneofthemover,shejumped
onthecounterrightacrossfromme.
Isighed.“Mysavior.”
“Iwouldofferalcoholtotaketheedge
off,butI’mthinkingthatwouldn’tbeveryhelpfulinyourstate.”
“No,itwouldn’t,”Isaid,withawince.
“I’lldrinktomyheart’scontentwhenwegoouttonight.Stillcoming,right?
Don’tbailonuslikeyoudidlasttime.It’skaraokenight.”
“Nobailingnecessary.Iwouldn’tmiss
karaokenight.So,howdoesitfeeltobeanearlygraduate?Whatareyour
plansnow?”
“Ihaven’tdecidedhowIfeelaboutityet.
I’mhappy,ofcourse,butalittlesad,too,Ithink.Ipaidoffallmystudent
loanswiththemoneyImadefromthebook,sothat’ssomething.Ifeelaslight
asafeather.Don’thavealotofmoneyleftinthebank,butatleastIwon’t
havetoworryaboutloans.”
Sheshookherjuiceboxbeforejabbingthe
strawintoit.“Yeah,I’mnotlookingforwardtopayingstudentloansevery
month.IwishIhadthetimetowriteabook,too.”
Itwasn’tanythingIhadn’theardthepast
fewmonths.I’dquicklylearnedthatwhenyouwriteabook,andsurprise,
surprise,you’remakingmoneyoffofit—evenifit’sonlyfiftybucksa
month—suddenlyeveryonearoundyouturnsintoawriter.Ofcourse,they’reamuch
betterwriterthanyou,onlytheydon’thavethetimetositdownandgointo
la-lalandbecausetheyaresoverybusywithreallifealready.
“Oh,you’rethinkingofwritingabook?”I
askedmildlyasIinspectedthejuiceboxinmyhand.
“Well,I’mEnglishlit,too,soyeah,I’ve
thoughtaboutit.Imean,evenyouwroteone,”shechucklednervously.
Raisingmyeyebrows,Ilookedather.“Even
Iwroteone?”
“Oh.”Shewentpoker-faced.“Thatdidn’t
soundright.Ijustmeant,younevermentionedthatyouwerewritingabookand
thenbam,youpublisheditonyourown.Itwasjustsurprising.”
Lucyhadbeenmybetareadersincetheday
she’dstolenmylaptoptoseewhatIwasalwaysworkingon,butIhadn’thad
thecouragetosharemywordswithanyoneelse.Itwasn’tbecauseIdidn’tlike
Charlotte,itwasjustbecauseIwastoonervousaboutthewholething
Inthesilencethatfollowedherwords,she
tookfewlongsipsfromherapplejuicebeforeputtingitdownonthecounter.
“Anyway,thereasonIaskedaboutyourplans…Iwaswonderingifyouwere
thinkingaboutmovingout?”
“Movingout?Ofhere?”
“Yeah.Imeanwehaveonemoresemester,
butsinceyou’regonnahavemoneycominginfromthemovie,too…”Sheshrugged.
“Ijustthoughtmaybeyou’dgetyourownplace.”
“Youtryingtogetridofme,Char?”I
asked,slightlyamused,slightlywary.
“Ofcoursenot.”Shejumpeddownandtossed
theboxintothegarbagecan;shehadn’tevenfinishedit.“YouknowLily,right?”
Inodded.“Well,herboyfriendtossedheroutsosheislookingforaplaceto
stayfortherestofthesemester.Isaidmaybeyourroomwouldbevacantif
youdecidedtomoveout.”
“SorrytohearthataboutLily,butI’mnot
consideringleaving.Ilikelivingwithyouguys.”
“Oh.”Shelookedgenuinelyconfused.“The
wayyou’vebeenactingaroundMarcuslately,Ithoughtyouwereuncomfortable
here.”
“Marcuswasmyfriendforayearbeforewe
startedourrelationship;we’vebeenlivingtogetherforalmostthreeyears
now.I’mnotuncomfortablearoundhim,Char,wejustdon’thangouttogetheras
muchasweusedto.Otherthanthat,Ihavenoproblemswithhim.Heistheone
actingweirdafterthisbookdealhappened.”
“Iunderstand.”Sheavoidedmyeyes
“Well,”Istarted,edgingoffthecounter
togetdown.“I’mgladwedidthis.”
“Areyouangryatme?”
“No.IsthereareasonIshouldbe?”
“No.ThencanIaskyousomethingelse?”
Isettledbackagain.“Sure.About?”
Ipulledtheshortstrawintomymouthand
sighedahappysighwhenthecoldapplejuicehitmytongue.
“JasonThorn.”
Intrigued,Igesturedforhertogoahead.
Charlottedidn’taskmanyquestions.Shewatched.Shelistened.Shewasshyto
thepointthatitwaspainfultowatchsometimes.
“WhenyousawthatvideoofJasoninthat
alley…”
Myfacefell.Whywassheevenaskingme
aboutthat?
“Wereyouupset?”
Dobirdsshit?
Whatthehell?
Lettinggoofthestraw,Iraisedan
eyebrow.“Whereareyougoingwiththis,Char?”
“Nowhere.”Avoidingmyeyes,sheplayed
withthecoffeemachineIhadboughtwithLucythedayIgotmyfirstpayment
fromAmazon.“Ijustdon’twanttoseeyougethurt.Heisamoviestar,Liv.I
sawyoutwotogetherthatday—whenhewasdroppingyouoff—”
“YouleftassoonasyoumethimChar.”
“Iknow.Iknow.ButIseehowexcitedyou
geteverytimeyou’retalkingabouthim.”
“So?”
“Marcusthinksyou’re—”
“Idon’tcarewhatMarcusthinks,Char.And
toansweryourinitialquestion,yes,Iwasupsettoseeit,butnotbecauseI
wasjealousoranythinglikethat.Idon’thaveasayinhislife.Hell,I’m
nothingmorethanafriendoranoldfriend’ssistertohimrightnow.”I
shrugged.“I’mnotstupidenoughtothinkotherwise.SowhatifIenjoyhanging
outwithhim,wouldn’tyou?It’snotnewsthathe,um,enjoyshavingsex,for
lackofabetterword.DidallthosepeoplewhobashedhimonTVandonline
thinkthathewasavirginorsomething?”
Shenoddedthoughtfully.“Iheardthat
afterthevideowasreleased,hewasbootedoutfromafewmovieprojects,and
therewererumorsthathewasactuallylosinghisroleinyourmovie,too.”
“Obviously,hedidn’t.”Ihoppeddownfrom
thecounterandtossedthenowemptyjuiceboxintothegarbagecan.
“Well,still.Itseemslikeheisaticking
bomb.Ijusthopethathewon’truinyourmovie,too.”
Theapartmentdooropened,andMarcusand
Lucywalkedin.
IfocusedonChar.“Heisadamngood
actor,Char.Hecanhaveanyrolehewants.They’llforgetaboutthevideoina
fewweekswhensomeothercelebritycheatsonhiswifewiththenanny,then
everyonewillfocusontheminstead.What’sgottenintoyoutoday?”Iasked,
frowningather.
“Whatdoyoumean?”shemumbled,not
lookingatme.
“Hi,Liv,”Marcusgreetedmeonhiswayto
thefridgeandoh-so-casuallybrushedakissonmyhair.
Startled,Iturnedtohimashetooka
waterbottlefromthefridgeandwalkedrightout.“Whatwasthat?”Iaskedto
hisback,pullingmyselftogether.
Heglancedbackoverhisshoulder.“Isaid
hi.Oristhatbanned,too?”
Lucybuggedhereyesatmefromthedoorway.
“Somethingiswronginthisapartment
today,”Iannounced.
Myphonepinged.
Thankgod!
“MyUberishere.I’mleaving.”
“ButIjustgothere!”Lucywhined.“You
didn’tevenhearwhatJamesondidtometoday.”Shewidenedhereyesatme.“In
anemptyclassroom!”
“Herockedyourworld?”Iasked,raisingan
eyebrow.
Shegavemeawolfishgrin.“Thathedid.”
“See,I’mallcaughtupnow.Textmewhen
we’releavingforkaraokenight,andI’llgetbackheretogetready.”
Igrabbedmypurseandwalkedoutthedoor,
notmeetingMarcus’eyes.
***
Finallyreachingthebuildingwherethe
auditionswerebeingheld,IgotoutofmyUberandstoodtheretostareatthe
buildingforamoment.WasIexcitedbecauseIwasabouttoseemycharacters
cometolife?OrwasIexcitedbecauseI’dgettospendsometimewithJason
again?
“Olive!”
IturnedaroundtoseeJasongettingoutof
hiscar.Thewayhesteppedoutandclosedthedoorofthatridiculouslysexy
carofhis…then,asifinslowmotion,puthisRay-Banson…
Damn…
Miniorgasmattack
Thenhegotcloserandcloser,andIgotan
evenbetterlookatmydimple—mine,becauseIwasstakingmyclaimonthatdamn
thing.Afterall,I’dseenitbeforeallofhislovingfans.Firstcome,first
served,right?
“Hi,”Imanagedtosputterwhenhereached
me.
“Hitoyoutoo.”
Wejuststoodthereandstaredateach
otherforamoment,hissmilegettinggoofier.
ShouldIhughim?CouldIhughim?
Wasthatevenallowed?WhywasIsoweird?
Finally,helaughedandsaid,“Comehere.”He
gavemeasidewayshugandlookeddownatme.“Imighthavemissedyouabit
morethanyoumissedme,littleone.It’sgoodtoseeyou.”
Notthebestthinghecould’vesaid,but
thenagainI’dtakeanythingthatcameoutofhismouthwhenhewashuggingme.
Withmyheadtiltedback,Ilookedupathim.
Reachingup,Iliftedhissunglassesandfinallylookedintohiseyes.
“Nicetoseeyou,too,Mr.JasonThorn.”
Laughing,hekissedmytemple.Hadhislips
lingeredformorethantwoseconds,orwasitjustme?Didthosetwoextra
secondsmeansomething?Whygofortheforeheadandnotthecheek?Didithave
adifferentmeaning?
Differentmeaningornot,myheartgavea
happysighandthebutterfliesprettymuchfaintedfromalltheexcitement
Jasonwasgivingthem.Iclosedmyeyesandsavoredthemoment.
Afterwereachedthefloorwherethe
castingcrewwassituated,hetookhistimetointroducemetoeveryone.The
wholesetuphadarelaxedvibe,nothingscaryatall.Thecastingdirector,Bryan,
hisassistant,andacameramantotapetheauditionsweretheonlyonesleft
behind,andJasonseemedtoknowthemall.
“I’mnotlate,amI?”Jasonaskedafter
shakinghandswitheveryone.
Hiseyesonthepapersinfrontofhim,the
castingdirectorwavedhishandoverhishead.“Justontime,asalways.Have
youlookedthroughthescriptwehaveready?”
Thescriptisready?!
JasonnoddedatBryanandtookthepapers
theassistanthandedhim.“Igotthemthismorning.”Afterturningafewpages,
heasked,“Whichscenedoyouwanttogooverforthis?”
“We’lltrythefirsttimehefindshisway
backtoGenevieve.”
“Ok.Great.”GlancingatthecornerwhereI
wassitting,Jasonlookedatmeandwinked.
Igavehimalamethumbsupandsmiled.
Clearlyamused,heshookhisheadand
turnedbacktothedirector.
“Who’scominginforEvie?”heaskednoone
inparticular.
“We’redowntothreenames.We’llseehow
youdooncameraandthengofromthere.”
WhenIsawthefirstactress,Claudia
Colbert,walkin,Iwasveryproudofmyselffornotlosingmycool.Even
thoughnobodywaspayingattentiontome,IstillthoughtIdeservedapaton
theback.
Shewaswearingasimplewhiteteewith
blackjeansandToms.HerhairwasinaponytailthatwaseffortlessinawayI
couldneverachieve,andfromwhatIcouldsee,shehadnomakeupon.Whileus
mortalshadtohaveatleastsomeconcealeron,ofcourseshe’dbeenblessedwith
greatskinontopofeverythingelse.
SheshookhandswithJason,talkedwiththe
directorforafewseconds,thentookherplaceinfrontofthecamerawithher
scriptinherhandandwaitedforJasontotakehisplace.
“Youguysready?”Bryanasked,givingthem
allhisattentionashegotupandsatdownnexttothecameraman.
BothJasonandClaudianodded.
“Let’sstartreadingfromthetop.Iwant
torecordtheendingfromtwodifferentanglessowe’llstopandtakethelast
partagain.”Whentheystartedreadingtheirlines,Bryanwaswatchingthem
throughthelittlescreenthatwasonthetable.Itriedtoleantomyleftto
takeapeek,buttheywereinmyway,soIsettledbackandfocusedonhearing
IsaacandEvieforthefirsttime
“Howcouldyouleaveme,Evie?”Jason
asked,alreadysoundinglikeadifferentperson—tired,broken,hopeless.Hewas
becomingIsaacrightinfrontofmyeyes.
Claudiatookasteptowardhimandtilted
herheadtotheside.“I’veneverleftyou,Isaac.Itried,butIcan’tleave
you.ButIwon’tcomeafteryoueither;Iwon’tforcethisonyou.”
Jason’svoiceturnedharshashelaughed.
“Forcethisonme?Whatisthis,Evie?Isthereevenanythingleftofusinyou?”
Shetookanothersteptowardhimandlifted
herhand,butthendroppeditasbothofherhandsformedfists.
“DoIdisgustyounow?Isthatwhyyou
can’ttouchme?”Jasonallbutspitthewordsatherashiseyestookinher
movements.
Claudiaflinchedandshookherhead,her
voicebeatenandsmall.“Idon’twanttohurtyouanymore.”
Jasondroppedthepapersandclasped
Claudia’swrists,liftingthemupandpullingheragainsthischestinone
quickmoveIwasn’texpecting.“Youthinkyourtouchcanhurtme?Youkilledme
themomentyouletmegoinyourheart,Evie.”
“Isaac,”Claudiamurmured,andwhenshe
lookedupatJason,thereweretearsswimminginhereyes.
Holycow!IfonlyIhadsomepopcornand
tissues.
“Youweretheonewholeftme,”she
continued.“YoubrokemyheartintosomanypiecesthatIneverfully
recovered,Isaac.Butnoneofitmatters,doesit?Youaren’theretostay.You
willneverstay.”
Whooaaathere!
Thatwasmostdefinitelynotmydialogue.
Theyhadturnedaperfectlyromanticsceneintoacheesyone.
Shelookedheartbroken.
Isawateardropfallfromhereyesand
Jasonletgoofherwristsasiftheyhadburnedhim.
“Icameback.Icamecrawlingbacktoyou,”
Jasonchokedout.Leaningdown,hecuppedhercheeksinhishands,forcingher
tolookathim.“Evie.You’remyonlyone.”
Theybothclosedtheireyesandrested
theirforeheadsagainsteachother’s.
“Takemewithyou,”shewhisperedintothe
silence.“Don’tleavemebleedingagain.Don’tletthemtakeyouawayfromme.”
Jasonkissedhernose,hereyes,andthendrew
backafewinches,hishandsstillholdingherface.“Sayyoustillloveme,
Evie.Givemethewords.”
Shestooduponhertiptoesandwhispered
herloveforhimagainsthislips.Thentheyweregoingateachotherasifthe
worldwasending.
Well,minekindaendedanyway.Iwas
supposedtowatchthistakeplaceinfrontofmyeyestwomoretimeswithtwo
differentactresses?WhatintheworldhadIbeenthinkingwhenI’dtoldJason
Iwouldlovetocomealong?
Someonesaycut,goddamnit!
Thenitwasoverandtheyparted.Bryan
thankedthemandaskedforanothertakefromadifferentangle.Irefusedto
watchitforthesecondtime.Seeingthesamesceneinamoviesetwouldbea
differentstory,butinhere,withonlyafewpeoplearound…itlookedintimate,
real.Eachandeveryoneofuswasanoutsider,intrudingupontheirmoment
Finally,Bryanwashappywithwhathegot,
andafterthankingClaudia,theysentheraway.
Iwatchedthesamethinghappenwithtwo
otherbeautiful,verywellknown,verytalentedactresses.Thethirdone,
LindsayDunlop,prettymuchblewitoutofthepark.Bryanaskedhertodo
threedifferentsceneswithJason.Attheendofitall,theyhadtheirEvie,and
LindsaywassmilingjustasbigasJason.
EventhoughIwasn’tbeingspecifically
ignoredoranything,Iwasstillstickingoutlikeasorethumbsittinginthe
cornerlikethat.IhadafeelingIwasjusttherebecauseJasonThornhad
broughtmein.Theydidn’tcarethatIwastheauthoratall.
Feelingoverwhelmedwiththekisses,the
acting,thewords…Isneakedoutoftheroom—notthatIneededtosneakout.No
onegaveadamnaboutwhatIwasdoing.
Iwasdiggingintomybaglookingformy
phonewhensomeonecamearoundthecornerandcollidedwithme.Istumbled
back.
Asecondofshock,thenIyelpedinpain.
Iglanceddownatmyfrontandsawthatmy
entireshirtwassoakedwithsomekindofgreenliquid.Itsmelledlikecoffee,
butitwasgreen.
Scalding
greenliquid.
“Jesus!Areyouokay?”someoneasked.
“Oh,shit!Shit!Shit!”Myeyesburning
withtears,Idroppedmybagontothecarpetedfloor.Peelingtheshirtaway,I
startedtoblowonmyskintofindsomerelief.
Somegirlcamerunningtotheguy’sside.
“Sir,iseveryth—”
“Gogetmesomethingtocleanherupwith,”
theguysnappedatthegirl.
“OliveTaylor?”Hesoftenedhisvoicefor
me.
Hearingmyname,IlookedupandsawKeith,
theexecwiththebleachedteeth,hoveringoverme.
“Oh.Hello,”Isaid,mylowerlipslightly
trembling.Ipeekedintomyshirtandrealizedmychestwasalreadyred.
Wonderful
ThegirlreappearednexttousandhandedKeith
awettowel.
“Letme,”Keithmurmured,takingastep
towardme.
Iwasintoomuchpaintodeclinehishelp,
soIpushedmyhairoutofthewayandlethimgentlypressthecoldtowelonto
myskin.
“Thankyou,”Imurmured.“Thatfeels
great.”
Hemetmyeyesandgavemeanapologetic
smile.Hewasprobablyinhismidthirties,butforhisage,helookedgood—minus
theteethsituation.Whenheslowlyreachedtheswellofmybreasts,I
swallowedandlookedaway.
Maybeawettowelwasn’tthebestsolution,
butitwasworking.Fornow.Istillhadtolosetheshirtsomehow.Itwascompletely
soakedthroughandrightthencompetinginawett-shirtcontestwasnotonmy
to-dolist.
Justasheopenedhismouthtosay
something,someonegrabbedmywristandIwaswrenchedawayfromKeith.Myhead
jerkedupandIsawJasonpushingmebehindhisback,glaringdaggersatKeith.
“Whatthehelldoyouthinkyou’redoing
touchingher?”
“Jason!”Igasped,alittlebelatedly.His
handwasstillaroundmywrist,buthistouchwasgentle.
Keithappearedcalm,butuponhearing
Jason’stone,heraisedhisbrows.
“Jason,”Isaid,tuggingathisarm,trying
togethisattention.“Thereiscoffeealloverme,hewastryingtohelp.”
“Itissmoothie,Olive,”Keithsaidlooking
atmewithasmallsmile.
Hotsmoothie?!
Seriously?
“Bygropingyourbreasts?”Jasongrowled.He
lookeddownatmewithhisflushedfaceandIfrownedupathim.
“Jesus,”heexclaimedwhenhefinally
droppedhiseyesenoughtogetalookatme.“Jesus!”herepeated.Lookinginto
myeyes,heasked,“Areyouokay,littleone?”
“I’llbefine.”IlookedatKeithoverhis
shoulderanddecidedanapologywasinorder.
“I’msosorry.Iwasn’tlookingwhereIwas
going.Thankyouforyourhelp.”IlookedatJason,liftedmyarm,andeyedmy
wristthatwasstillinhisgrasp.“Ifyoucanletmego,I’lljustleave.”
Hedidn’tletmego,butatleasthisface
wasn’tflushedwithangeranymore.
GlancingatKeith,hesaid,“Sorry,man.
WhenIsawyoutwo…Iassumedwrong.”
“Understandable.Sheisyourfriend.”
Jason’smouthtightened.
Whatintheworldisgoingon?
“Ihopewe’llseeeachothersoon,Miss
Taylor,”Keithsaidtomeandwalkedawayfromus.
Jasondroppedmywristandgentlybrushed
thehairthathadfallenovermyshouldersawayfrommychest.
“We’regoingtotheemergencyroom.”
“No,we’renot.What’swrongwithyou?”I
asked,genuinelycurious.“Hewashelpingme.Whatdidyouthinkhecouldbe
doingoutintheopenlikethis?”
Hehadthedecencytolookaway.
“HowcanIhelp?”heaskedinstead.
Isighed.“Youshouldgobackinthere,
Jason.Iwasleavinganyway.”Again,Ipeeledtheshirtawayfrommyskin.If
anotherUberwascloseby,maybeIcouldmakeitbacktotheapartmentwithout
beingseenbytoomanypeople.
“We’redonewiththereading.”Heputhis
handonmybackandurgedmeforward.“Let’sgo.Ishouldhaveanextrashirt
inmycar.We’lllookatthedamageasyouchangeandthendecideifwe’re
goingtotheemergencyroomornot.”
“Fine,Mom,”Imumbled,andhegavemea
darklook.
“Yourcarreallylooksadorablefromthe
front,”Isaid,oncewereachedtheparkinglot.
“It’saVenomGTSpyder,Olive.It’snot
anadorablecar.”
Ishruggedbehindhisback.Tome,theeyes
andthesmallmouthlookedadorable.
Unlockingthedoors,heleanedinand
reachedforsomethingbehindhisseat.
Agrayt-shirt.
“Takeoffyourshirt,”hesaid,
straighteningupandturningtome.
“What?”Igapedathim.
Hisfingersreachedouttoliftthehemof
myshirt,butIslappedhishandaway.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Ihissedquietlyas
twogirlshurriedpassedhiscar,theirphonesgluedtotheirears.
“Olive,”hestarted.“Ineedtoseehowbad
itis.Takeitoff.”
Hishandscameatmeagain.Islappedhis
handharder.
“Youwantmetotakeoffmyshirtoutin
theopen?”
Hemetmyeyes.“We’reintheparkinglot.
Noonewhoisn’tsupposedtobeinhereisallowedtobeinhere.Noonewill
seeyoubetweentheSUVandmycar.Goon.”
Hereachedatmeagain.
So,naturally,glaringathim,Islapped
hishandevenharder.
Thistimehelaughed.
“Don’tmakemetakeitoffforyou,Olive.
Idon’twanttohurtyou.”
“Yourcardoesn’tevenreachyourchest,
Jason.Idoubtitwilldomuchtohidemefromsight.”
“FacetheSUV.I’llturnaroundandcover
yourback.OrwecangostraighttotheER.Yourchoice.”
“No,”Isnapped.
“ThendoasIsay.”
Inarrowedmyeyesathim.“You’re
annoying.”Afterashortstaringcontestthatonlyendedupmakingmehot,I
wasthefirstonetoturnaway.
Grumblingundermybreath,Igingerly
liftedmyshirtoffofmystomachandtookitoff.Itwasn’thurtingasmuchas
ithadafewminutesbefore,butIwouldn’tsaynotorubbingsomeicecubeson
mychesteither.Droppingtheshirttotheground,I…
Shit!The
extrashirtwasstillinhishands.
“Handmethedamnshirt,”Iwhispered,
lookingtomylefttoseeifanybodywaswalkingaround.
“Whyareyouwhispering?”heaskedright
overmyshoulder,hishotbreathticklingmyneck.
Theannoying-hot-jerkchuckledwhenI
squealedandjumpedaround.
“Youweresupposedtoturnaround,”I
accusedhimhotly.
Hiseyesdroppedtomychest.Hisjaw
hardening,hequicklylookedupandaway.
“Whatisthat?”hegrittedthrough
histeeth.
Coveringmybreastswithmyforearm,I
snapped,“They’rebreasts.Whatdoesitlooklike?”
Didhethinktheyweretoobig?Heprobably
did.Idefinitelydidn’thavethosesmallelegantbreastswhereyoucouldgoto
bedwithoutwearingabra.
“Whyaren’tyouwearingsomethingwhiteand
simple?”
Despitethestupidsituation,Ilookeddown
atmychestandlaughed.“WhydoyoucarewhatIwear?Andwhatiswrongwith
thisone?”
Helookedupatthesky.“It’s…itdoesn’t…do
anything.Youcanseethroughit.”
“So?”Iasked.
“Youaren’tsupposedtowearstufflike
that.”
“Sayswho?I’msureyoumust’veseenmuch
betterstuffthanthis.”Itookadeepbreathandletitout.“Justgivemethe
damnshirt,Jason,”Isaidimpatiently.“Itwasn’tmyintentiontodisgustyou
orembarrassyouorwhateveritishappeningrightnow.”
“Disgustme?”Hiseyesshotbacktomyeyes.
“Olive,”hesaid,takingasteptowardme.
Icuthimoffbeforehecouldtellme
somethingbrotherlyandpissmeoff,or—evenworse—breakmyheartevenmore.
“Jason,therearepeoplearound.Please
givemetheshirtsoIcancovermyself.”
Hisjawticked,buthehandedmehisshirt,
andIquicklypulleditovermyhead.
“Thankyou.”
HetookyetanotherstepandIplasteredmy
backagainsttheSUVbehindme.Heliftedtheshirtup,justalittle.This
timeIdidn’tslaphishandaway.He’dalreadyseenmoreofmethanI’dbeenready
toshowhim.
Hegentlytouchedmystomach,thenstartedrunning
thebackofhisknucklesovermyslightlyirritatedskin.
Thatthingthatresidesinyourchest?Took
wingsandflewaway.
Theotherthingthatwasinmyskull?Turned
tocompletemush
Isuckedinabreath,myheartbeatsuddenly
slowingdowntothepointwhereIwasn’tsureifIwasstillaliveorhad
steppedintoheaven.WhenIliftedmyheadup,hewasstaringdownatme—right
intomyeyes.
BythenIwastheperfectexampleofoneof
those‘Mybodyisready’gifs.
“Itdoesn’tlookasbadasyour…chestarea,”
hesaid,softlydroppingtheshirtoverhishand.
Hedidn’tbackaway.
Ididn’tlookaway.
Hishandwasstillinthere.
Onmystomach.
Undermyshirt.
Thenhesighedandpulleditaway.Suddenly
Icouldbreatheagain.
Insteadofbegginghimtotakemeright
againstthecarlikeIdesperatelywantedto,Isaid,“I’llbeokay.I’llput
somethingonwhenIgethome.It’snotasbadasitlooks.”
Hewasn’thappy,butheopenedhiscardoor
andhelpedmegetin.
JasonThorn,mychildhoodcrushandnow
moviestar,hadtouchedmystomach,gently,andIwasn’thyperventilating.
Huh…
MaybeIwasgettingthehangofthisobsession/love
thing.
ChapterThirteenJason
IthadbeenonehoursinceI’ddropped
OliveoffandIwasonceagainsittinginMegan’soffice,workingondamage
control.Sofar,I’dlookedthroughtwelveheadshots,recognizingsomeofthe
girlswhilehavingnoideawhotheotherswere.TheonethingIknewfor
certain:Ididn’twantanyofthem.
“I’mstartingtodoubtyourPRskills,
Megan,”Isaidafterdroppingthephotographsbackonherdesk.
Shestaredatmeblanklyasshetookasip
ofhergreenteaandslowlyputitdownonherdesk.
“It’sbeenwhat?Amonth?Twomonths?You
stillhaven’tdecidedonagirl,Jason.I’mnotaskingyoutomakealifelong
commitmenthere.Pickonesowecandrawupacontractandmoveonfromthis.”
“I’mnotmarryingsomebloodthirstynew
actresswhowillbeinthisjusttogetmoreexposure.I’mnotsigningonto
cartingheraroundtoeventsandallthispublicitycrap.Marryingherwillbe
enoughtortureonitsown.”
Shetiltedherhead.“Whyexactlydoyou
thinkwe’redoingthis,Jason?Itwillbeawin-winforbothsides.Whyelse
wouldtheymarryyou?”
Ouch.
“Inyourcase,youneedthepositive
exposure.Youneedtoremindthepublicandfranklyeveryoneinthemovie
industrythatyou’renotjustsomeexhibitionistandinfactadamngoodactor.
Inhercase,whomeveryoudecidetomarry,she’lluseyouforherowngain,
whateverthatis.That’showthegameisplayed.”
Irubbedmyforeheadandleanedbackinmy
seat.“Idon’tlikethis,Megan.Idon’tlikeitatall.”
“Look,Jason,”shestarted,leaningover
herdesk.“You’reanamazingactor.Youhavethepotentialtobecomeoneofthe
bestsinthisindustry,butthat’snotwhatthemediaiscirculatinganymore.
Haveyoureadthetabloidslately?”
“YouknowIdon’ttouchthose.”
“Yeah,youdon’t,butpeopledo.
Theylovethegossip,theylovetolearnthedirtysecretsofcelebrities,and
theydefinitelylovetotearthemapartattheirfirstmistake,andeverytime
afterthat.Thosefactswillneverchange.Whetheryoulikeitornotdoesn’t
matter.You’vebeeninthisgamelongenoughtoknowtherules.”Shestopped
andtookanothersipofhertea.Iwantedtotakethatdamncupandthrowitagainst
thewall.“Doyouknowwhatthey’llreadtomorrow?”
“What?”Isnarled.
“Aspecialinterviewwithacollegegirl
fromCanada.Apparently,youtwofuckedallovertheplaceinToronto,andshe
isgivingtheinsidescooponyourrelationship.”Sheraisedaneyebrow,
waitingformyanswer.
Dumbfounded,Ishookmyhead.“Whatcollege
girl?Whatthehellareyoutalkingabout?Ihaven’ttouchedanyonesincethe
alleyincident.”
“That’snotwhatsheissaying.”
“Andnowyou’regoingtobelievethe
tabloidsoverme?”
“Itdoesn’tmatterwhatIbelieve.I
knowyoudidn’ttouchanyonebecauseI’vebeenincontactwithAlvin.”Myeyes
narrowedandsheshrugged.“Inordertoprotectyou,Ineedtoknowwhat’s
happeninginyourlifebeforeotherscanlearnaboutit.So,yeah,ofcourse
I’mkeepingtabsonyou.Thepointis,tomorroweveryonewilleatupthestory.
Itdoesn’tevenmatterwhetherit’strueornot,orthattherearenoexclusive
picturesattachedtotheinterviewthistimearound.Everyonewillbelieveitsimply
because,well,it’swhatyoudo.”Anothershrug.“It’sthefirstthingthat
popsintotheirmindswhentheyhearthenameJasonThorn.”
“Therearenoexclusivepictures,blurryor
not,becausenothinghappenedinToronto.”Isighed.NomatterwhatIsaid,I
knewIcouldn’twin.“You’regivingmeadamnheadache,Megan.”
“Iwishaheadachewasyouronlyconcern.
Anypublicityisn’tgoodpublicityinyourcase,Jason.Denialcanonlyworkup
toacertainpointandtheyarenothavingwhatwe’reservingthemanymore.You
wanttobeknownforyourwork,notyourpersonallife.That’swhatyoutoldme
whenyouhiredme,andyouwereright,becausethat’stheonlywayyou’llkeep
gettingthebigroles.Otherwiseyou’lljustgetlostinthiscircusbecauseno
onewillbeinterestedinhavingyouontheirteam.”
“Andmarryingsomegirlwillsolveallof
myproblems.”Igaveherabitterlaughandrosefrommyseat.Theskywas
tingedwithpinkandsoftorangehueswhileinthere,inthatoffice,myown
worldwasfillingwithdarkclouds.
“Ididn’tsayitwillsolveallyour
problemsatonce.Italldependsonhowyouactafteryou’remarried.You’re
gonnahavetoplaythegoodhusbandroleforquitesometime.Nosteppingout
onyourwifeeither.Idon’tcareifyouaddaclauseintothecontract,
agreeingtohavesexjustwitheachother,butyou’renotgoingoutthereto
takeoutyourdickandkeepdoingwhatyou’vebeendoing.”
“I’mnothavingsexwithanyone,”I
growled.
Shewavedherhand,dismissingme.“Of
course,beforeallthathappenswe’llhavetomakeitlooklikeyou’vebeen
datingforamonthortwobeforeyougetmarried.Leaksomecozyphotosofyou
twotogether.Thenwe’llcomeupwithagoodstoryandyou’llelopeor
something.”
“Agoodstory,”Irepeated,runningmyhand
downmyface.“Myentirefuckinglifeisturningintoahorrorstory.”
“Well,nexttimeyou’llremembertokeepit
inyourpantsandwewon’tbeinthissituationagain.”
“Thanksfortheadvice,”Imocked.
“Gohome,Jason,”shesaidwearily.“Ihave
tomakeafewphonecallsandseewhoelseIcanaddtoyour‘futurewife’
pile.”
“Great,”Imuttered,headingtowardthe
door.
“I’llbewaitingforyouat4o’clock,
tomorrow.Don’tmakemechaseyou.Youhavetochoosesomeonesowecanstartshaping
thestory.Thisisn’tsomethingthatcanhappenovernight.”
Iheadedoutwithoutsayinganotherword.
***
Me:Whatareyouupto?
Olive:I’mabouttoscreamforMercyforthe
secondtimetonight.
Me:What?!
Olive:LOL!Notthatkindofscreaming.Unfortunately,
it’sonlykaraokenightandLucywantsmetocelebratethemoviedealby
singingmyheartout.We’redoingCharliePuth’s‘MarvinGaye’intenminutes,
forthesecondtime…Ibelieveit’llhappenafewmoretimesbeforethenight
ends.
Iwasbackathome,butthelongerItried
torelaxandreadthemostlycompletescriptBryanhadgivenme,themoreIwas
startingtofeellikeatrappedanimalinmyowndamnhome—whichsoonenoughwouldn’t
evenbemyownhome.Iwouldbesharingitwithanunknownroommate.
Tryingtoforgetaboutmyownlife,I’ddecided
totextOlivetoseeifshewasfreetotalkaboutthescript.Afterall,nobody
knewIsaacbetterthanher,andeventhoughI’dreadthebookthoroughly,
twice,itwouldhelpifIcouldgetdeeperintoIsaac’shead.Maybeaskwhat
shewasthinkingwhenshewaswritingfromhispointofview.Shecouldgiveme
detailsabouthispast,thingsthatonlyshecouldknow.
AsforIsaac’sunfilteredsexscenesinthe
book…Ididn’tthinkIwasreadytogotherewithOlive.Afterreadingthebook,
IunderstoodwhyOlivedidn’twantDylanorherdadtoreadit.Bothofthem
wouldeitherhaveaheartattack,orsimplyhavetroublelookingintohereyes
again,whichwouldbeagreattragedy.Hereyes…theywereoneofakind,alluring
andintriguinginawaythatmadeyouwanttogetclosertoherjustsoyou
couldstudyandmemorizethedepthofthecolors,findthosehazelspecks
hidinginthebrightgreenandwatchhowtheysparkledwhenshesmiledatyou.
Thenightshecametomyhousetomeetwith
Tom,IfoundoutthatIhadnotroubleatalllookingatanypartofherbody,
includinghereyes,whichprobablymademeacompletebastard.
Readingherlasttextagain,Irealized
whatIwasfeelingwasdisappointment.I’dbeeneagertotalktoher,topick
herbrain,toseeheragain.Wasn’tthatwhyIhadinvitedhertositinonthe
screentesting?Hadn’tIfelthappywhenI’dseenherstandinginfrontofthe
building,smilingatmeasIjoggedtoherside?Andinthatbriefmoment,
hadn’tIcompletelyforgottenaboutDylanbeingmyfriend,andOlivebeinghis
littlesister?
Notlikingwheremythoughtswereheading,
Itossedthescriptasideandshookmyhead.Maybenothavingsexwasgetting
tome.MyphonepingedwithanewtextfromOlive.
Olive:Whatareyouupto?
IsmiledandwalkedoutsideasItextedher
back.
Me:EnjoyingmyfreedomwhileIcan.
Olive:Whatdoesthatmean?
Me:Nothingimportant.Ihavepartofthe
scriptsoIwasactuallythinkingofcallingyoutoseeifyouwerefreeto
discussIsaac.Pickyourbrainalittle.
Olive:I’vebeenwithIsaacforalmostthree
years.He’sbeenmydayandnight.Heissobroken,butstillperfectjustthe
wayheis.Let’stalkabouthim.Let’stalkabouthimforhours.
Me:Arewestilltalkingaboutthesame
Isaac?
Olive:TherecanonlybeoneIsaacinmy
heart.ThoughhegavehishearttoEvie,he’llforeverbeinmine.
Me:I’mthinkingyou’realittleonthe
drunkside,littleone.
Olive:It’sLongIslandIcedTeanight!!!
AndIdon’twanttobethelittleoneanymore,Jason??Iwanttobebig
Olive.I’vegrownup,I’mnotclingyorstickyanymore.
Nothavingacluewhatshewastalking
about,IhesitatedforashortmomentbeforecallingAlvin.
“HiAlvin.”
“Hey,boss.What’sup?”Therewasa
rustlingsoundinthebackground.
“Sorryman.Badtiming?”
“It’sfine.Didyouneedsomething?”
“Yeah.Ineedyoutofindmea…acollege
bar,probably.Theyarehavingakaraokenight.”
Icouldhearhislaptopcometolife.
“O-kay.Isthereanywaywecannarrowthatdown?Otherwisethelistwillbe
longerthanyou’dwant.”
“ItshouldbesomewherenearUSC.I’lltext
youheraddresssoyoucancheckthebarsaroundtheapartment,too.”
“Andthis‘her’we’retalkingaboutis
OliveTaylor?”
“Yes,”IreplieddistractedlyasIwalked
backintothehouse.IfIwasgoingout,Iwouldneedtochange.
“You’renotconsideringgoingouttofind
herinabar,areyou?”
“AndifIam?”
“I’dsayyoumustnothaveenoughofMegan
chewingyourassandyou’rejonesingformore.”
Ilaughed.“Don’tworry,shewon’thear
aboutthis.”Istoppednexttomybed.“Andifyoudon’twanttogetfired,
you’renotreportingthattohereither.Getbacktomeassoonasyoucan.I’m
textingyouheraddress.”
Endingthecall,Itextedhimtheaddress
ofherapartmentandwenttomyclosettochangeintosomethingmorecollege-y
toblendinwiththerestofthefratboys.
Fifteenminuteslater,Iwasonmywayto
attempttofindOliveinoneofthefivebarsAlvinhadtexted.
***
ItwasatthefourthbarthatIfinallyfound…something.
Andbysomething,ImeanOliveandthefriendshehadintroducedmetothat
day—Lucy?Charlotte?—uponthesmallmakeshiftstagejustabouttostarta
song.
Shelooked…damnitbutshelookedgood.Her
hairhadclearlybeenhaphazardlyputintoamessybun,buttherewerestilla
fewlocksthathadescapedandwererestingoverhershoulders,framingand
drawingattentiontoherbeautifulsmilingface.Shewaswearingashortdress,
whichseemedtositalittletightonherbreasts.
WhythehellamIlookingather
breasts,again?
Shit!
Whenthemusicblasted,theystarted
swayingtothebeat.Thenreachingup,sheletherhairloose,shookherhead,
andlookedatherfriendwithabigsmileonherfaceasshemouthedsomething
Icouldn’tunderstand.Justasshehadsaidonthephone,theystartedtosing
‘Let’sMarvinGaye’fromthetop.Thenstartedtheslowhipandshoulder
movements.Thesapswhowerelinedupinfrontofthestageateitallup,catcalling
andwhistling.
Lookingdownatthefloor,Ipulleddownmy
baseballhat,tryingnottodrawattentiontomyself.Iwalkedinfartherandfound
adarkcornerclosetothestage.Iwantedtogrababeerfromthebar,butit
wasn’tworthgettingrecognizedfor.AssoonasIknewOlivewassafewithher
friends,Iwouldleave.Myhandsinmypockets,Ileanedbackagainstthewood
wallandwatchedthewholethingwithbewilderment,amusement,andfascination.
WhenOlivesmiledandbitherbottomlipas
herfriendtookoverthesong,Iwascompletelymesmerizedbyher.
Suckerpunched.
Thenthechoruscameandtheyweresinging
togetheragain.Atonepoint,Olivegaveherbacktoherfriend,glancedover
hershoulder,andwithaplayfullookonherface,winkedather.Iwouldhave
betmillionsofmydollarsthateveryhot-bloodedmale’sattentionwasonher,
notherfriend,butitdidn’tevenlooklikeOlivecaredforanyofthe
attentionshewasgetting.Eventhoughherfriendwasafierybrunette,she
couldn’tholdacandletoOlive’sbeauty.Iftheyhadthechance,morethanhalf
ofthoseidiotswouldgoafterherwithoutasecondthought.
WithoutevenrealizingwhatIwasdoing,I
walkedclosertothestage.BlendinginhadbeeneasierthanI’dthoughtit
wouldbe,soIdidn’tseeaproblemwithbeingmoreintheopen.
Acollegebarwasn’texactlytheplace
peoplewouldexpectmetohangaround,afterall.Evenifafewofthemthought
Ilookedlikesomeonetheyknew,withtheamountofalcoholintheirsystem
theywouldn’trememberathingbythemorning,andifsomeonestartedtotake
pictures,Iwouldjustheadout.
Myeyesgluedtothestage,specificallyon
Olive,Ididn’tseetheguynexttomeandtookanelbowinmyside.Grunting
inpain,Iloweredmybaseballcapjusttomakesurenoonecouldseemyentire
face.Icouldn’tstaytheretheentirenight,butIknewIwasn’tgoing
anywhereuntilItalkedtoOliveandmadesureshewasn’tpawedbyanydrunken
idiots.
Ididn’ttrustanyofthosebastardsnotto
pullanythingonherassoonasshewasoffthestage.
Asmuchasthecrowdwasgettingheated,
Oliveandherfriendseemedtoenjoysingingtoeachother,laughingand
smilingtheentiretime.Whentheywereattheoppositeendsofthestage,
OlivecrookedherfingeratherfriendandIfoundmyselfafewstepscloserto
thestage.
Damnit,Jason!
Whenshescreamedformercy,Iwasright
therewithher.Myphonestartedbuzzinginmypocket.SeeingMegan’snameon
thescreen,Iignoredhercall.Suddenly,flusteredandangryforsomereason,
IwasabouttoturnaroundandleavewhenIheardsomeoneyell,‘I’llgiveyou
allthehealingyouneed,alldamnnightbabe!’
Stupidshitfacedbastards.
So,Istayed.
Iwoulddropherhomemyself.ThatwayI
wouldfeelbetter,knowingshewassafe.
Whentheywerefinallydonewiththesong,
IwasmorethanreadytodeckafewguysIhadsetmyeyeson.Dylanwouldwant
metoo,wouldn’the?
AssoonasOlivegotdownfromthestage,
theguyI’dseenwhenI’ddroppedheroffatherapartmenttookherhandandled
boththegirlstotheendofthebarwhereafewmoreoftheirfriendswere
sitting.Headingtowardthem,InoticedOlivepullingherhandoutofhisand
linkingherarmwithherfriend’sagain.
WhenIwasalmostbytheirside,myeyes
metwithherfriend’s—theoneshehadbeenonthestagewith—andsherecognized
meatonce.Hadsomeoneelsealsorecognizedme?Takenpictures?Wasthatwhy
Meganwascalling?
WhenIwasstandingrightbehindOlive,her
friend’sgrinhadbecometoobigforhersmallface.
Thatonewastrouble.
Iclearedmythroat,butOlivedidn’thear
me,notwiththestupidblastingmusic—noneofthemdid.Iglancedather
friend,butshewaslookinganywherebutme.
Sighing,IputmyhandonOlive’swaist.
Thetouchfeltfamiliar—maybealittletoo
much.
Shewhirledaround,herhairsmackingmein
theface;itsmelledlikefruit.Edible.
Fuckme.
Notedible.
NotmylittleOlive.
WhenIwassafefromthehairattack,she
wasstaringatmewithafrownonherface,thensheslightlyliftedmybaseball
capandrecognizedmeatonce.Herexpressionturnedfromcutefurytoa
fuckingbeautifulsmile.
Itwasgoodtoknowsheknewhowtohandle
strangerstouchingher:hittheminthefacewiththehairwhipandthenfrown
upatthemuntiltheyslitheredaway.Myonlyhopewasthattheywouldn’tcarry
herawayalongwiththem.
“Jason!”Shebeamedupatmeandthrew
herselfinmyarms,trustingmetocatchher.
Gruntingattheunexpectedweight,Ihadto
takeastepbacktosteadyus.Laughing,Inudgedherchinupfromwhereitwas
buriedinmychest.
“Yousmellsoooogood,”sheslurred
slightly.“DidyoucometoseebigOlive?I’mnotsolittleanymore,amI,
Jason?Yousawthat,right?”
ShelookedsovulnerableandhopefulthatI
hadahardtimefindingtherightwordstospeak.
Myhandactingonitsown,Icradledher
faceandwatchedherclosehereyesfortwosecondsthensoftlyopenthemupto
gazerightbackintomine.
“No.Iguessyou’renotthatlittleanymore,
mylittleOlive.”
Shescruncheduphernose.“You’restill
callingmelittle.”Shakingherhead,shesaid,“Youneedsooomuchhelpwith
findingtherightnicknames.Youalwaysdid.”
Laughing,Ileaneddowntoherearandasked,
“DoI,now?Wouldyouliketovolunteertohelpmeonthatfront?”
Shenoddedeagerly,hersmileblooming
again.
Itwasdamnimpossiblenottosmiledownat
her.
Foramoment,westoodthereglancingat
eachotherandmysmileslowlymeltedaway.
Iwasdoingsomethingwrong.
Iwasfeelingsomethingwrong.
Thenthankfully,herfriendwasthere,
clearingherthroatassheputahandonOlive’sback.
“Lucy,”Oliveyelledoverthemusic
excitedlyasshesteadiedherselfagainstmychestandsawherfriend.
Shewasdefinitelyalittledrunk.
Iwantedtotughercloser.
Lucysmiledather.“Maybeyoushouldlet
Jasontakeyouhomebeforesomebodyrecognizeshimhere.Peopleseemstobe
lookingyourway,”sheadded,lookingatmeapologetically.
Iglancedaroundandsureenough,there
wereafewpeoplecloseby,whisperingastheykepttheireyesonus.
“Ishould?”Oliveasked.
“Youdefinitelyshould,”Lucyrepeated,
pattingherarm.
“Okay,”agreedOliveandturnedtofaceme.
“Youshouldtakeyouhomebeforesomebodyrecognizesme,Jason.”
Ismiled.“Okay,let’sgetyouhomethen,
youlittledrunk.”Myeyesfixedonherlips,Ireachedupandwipedthe
moistureaway,dragginghermouthopenslightly.
ShebitdownonherlipwhereIhadjust
touchedher.
Holdingbackagroan,Ilookedather
friend.“Thankyou,Lucy.I’msorryifIintrudeduponyournight.Iwasjust
worriedabouther.”
“It’sokay.Wecandothisanytime,and
she’salreadyonherwayovertoamajorhangover,betterwecutheroffnow.
Sheisalightweight.”
Icouldseethat,andforsomereason,I
preferredalightweightOlivetoaheavydrinker.Nodding,IgrippedOlive’s
handtosteerherawayfromherfriends,butherotherfriend,Charlotte
stoppedus.
“Here,”shesaid,handingmeakeyover
Lucy’sshoulder.“Olivedoesn’thaveoneonher.”
“Char,Iloveyou,”Oliveexclaimed,and
pushingLucyoutoftheway,gaveherfriendabighug.
“Hey,”Lucyyelled.
“Iloveyou,too,Olive.”Charlottelaughed
alittlestiffly.“I’llseeyoubackatthehouse.”
Shenoddedandcamebacktomyside,
holdingherhandoutjustlikeshehaddonewhenshewasonlytenyearsold.
Thememoryhitmeinthebackofthehead
outofnowhere.WhenDylanandIhadfoundhersittingontheschoolsteps,she
wassilentlycryingbecausesomekidhadmadefunoftheburnscarsonhermom’s
arms.WhileDylanhadflownupthestepstofindthelittleshitwhohadupset
hissister,Olivehadsimplyheldoutherhand,silentlyaskingmetostaywith
her.
Myeyesonherupturnedhand,mymindstuck
inamemoryIhadn’tevenbeenawareIremembered,Ireachedforit,justlike
I’ddoneyearsbefore,andheldontight.
Ifeltmoreeyesonme,soIlookedto
Lucy’sleftandsawtheguy,Marcus,sizingmeupwithanot-so-happylookon
hisface.
Ignoringhimandsayinggoodbyetoher
friendsagain,IpulledOliveoutofthebarandontothestreet.
Cleanair.
WhenwereachedtheblackSUV,Olive
suddenlystopped.Ilookedbackather.
“What’swrong?Areyoufeelingsick?”
“No.”Shesquintedhereyes.“Idon’tthink
so.Whereisyourcar?”Shelookedtoherrightandleft,tryingtospotmy
Spyder.
“Ididn’ttaketheSpyderouttonight,that
wouldbetootelling.Comeon,thisismine,too.”
“Oh,man,”shegroaned,herfacecrestfallen
asshestartedpettingthecar.“Thismonsterisyours,too?Howmanycarsdo
youhave?”
“Five,”Ianswered,amusedathertone.
Shegroanedlouderandhershoulders
slumped,butshedidn’tobjectwhenIunlockedthedoorandhelpedherin.
“You’regettingfartherandfartheraway
fromme,JasonThorn,”shemumbledasIwastryingtobuckleherin.
Misunderstandinghermeaning,Ilaughedand
said,“That’sbecauseyouaredrunk.I’mrighthere.Let’sgetyoutoyourbed
soyoucansleepitoff.”
“Let’s,”shemurmured,rightbeforeI
gentlyclosedthedoor.
***
Ourdrivetoherapartmentwasquietasshe
dozedoffinthepassengerseat.Iparkedthecarinfrontofthebuildingand
jumpedouttohelpherdownbeforeshefellonherface.WhenIslowlyopened
thepassengersidedoor,shewasstillsleeping.IwasconsideringwhetherI
shouldcarryherupstairsorifthatwouldbepushingitwhensomejackassdrove
byusandsomeoneleanedoutthewindowandshoutedsomethingatus.
Fuckingidiot.
Olive’seyesopenedwithasmallfrown.
“Jason?”sheasked,hervoicealldrowsy
andsexy.
Shit!
“Yeah,it’sme,sweetheart.Canyouwalkif
Ihelpyou?”
Herfacestillconfused,shealmosttoppled
downtheseatwhenshetriedtotakeastepoutintothinair.
“Whoa,easythere,”Isaid,grippingher
waist.Herdresshadriddenupanditseemedinsistentonflashingmeherwhite
lacyunderwear.“O-kay.Ithinkit’swaypastyourbedtime,Olive.Howabout
yougivemealittlehelpsoIcangetyouupwhileyouarestillintact.”
“Whatareyoudoinghere?”sheasked,her
eyeshalfclosed.
Ilockedthecar,sneakedmyarmaroundher
waist,andhalfcarriedheruptotheirapartmentasshehungontome.
Whenwewerefinallyinside,Ihadtrouble
locatingthelightswitchandeventuallygaveuponitaltogether.Fuck
eyesight,especiallywhenmyfriend’ssisterwasalmosthalf-nakedinmyarms.
“Olive?Areyouawakeenoughtotellme
whichroomisyours?”
“Huh?”
“Sweetheart,”Imumbled,takingherweight
assherestedherheadagainstmychest.Igrippedherchinandtiltedherhead
up.Hereyesopened.
“Jason.”Shelookedatmeasifshewas
seeingmeforthefirsttime.Therewasthatsmileagain.
“Hithere,”Isaid,brushingawayherbangs
fromherface.
Sheputbothofherhandsonmychestand
hiccupped.“Hi.”
Ichuckledandheldherupasherknees
buckled.Regainingherbalance,shelookedaroundforamomentthenturnedher
hugeeyesatme.“Whatareyoudoinginhere?”
“Cametodropyouoff.Canyoushowmeyour
room?”
Sheliftedherhandandpointedtoher
left.
“WhereareLucyandCharlotte?”
“They’restillbackatthebar,remember?People
werestartingtonoticemesoIhadtoleavewithyou.I’msurethey’llbehere
soonenough.”
Shehalfshruggedandyawnedthroughthe
motion.
WeenteredherroomandIstoppedshort.This
washerroom?Justabedagainstthewall?Notthatshehadanyspacefor
anythingelse,butstill.Glancingtomyright,Isawasmalldresserinthe
corner,butthatsadpieceoffurnituredidn’tevencount.
“Sorry,”shesaidinasmallvoice.Ihad
noideahowshe’dguessedwheremythoughtswere,butshehititrightonthenose.
“Consideringwhereyoulive,thisapartment”—shegesturedtoherroomwithher
hand—“thisroommustlookverysmalltoyou.”
“Comeon,”Isaid,ignoringherwords.As
soonasIloweredheronthebed,shegruntedandfelltoherside.
“Canyouputmylegsonthebed?Please?I
don’tthinkIhaveitinmetoliftmyarmsandgetundressed.”
“Believeme,that’sgoodnewsforme,”I
mutteredquietlyandkneelednexttoherbed.Ididn’tthinkitwouldbewise
ofmetodealwithahalf-nakedOlive.Pullingthehighheelsoffofherfeet,
Igentlygrippedheranklesandliftedthemup.
Eitherway,shedidn’tneedtoget
undressed;herlegswererightthereforalltosee.Asifthatwasn’tenough
torture,shestretchedherarms,groaned,andstartedtoturnherhipsthisway
andthatway,causingherdresstoshimmyup.Leaningoverher,Ipulledthe
edgeofherdressdownalittleandmyknucklescaressedthesoftskinofher
thighs.
AsoftmoanescapedherlipsandIfroze.I
wasfascinatedbythegoosebumpsthathadappearedonherlegsafterthesmall
contact.WhileIwasdistractedbythatsoftmoanandherlegs,shechose
exactlythatmomenttoflipontoherstomachandhugherpillow.
“Goddamnit!”IcursedasItriedtopull
outmyhandfromunderneathher.WhenIfinallymanagedtodosoafterpalming
placesIshouldn’tevengetcloseto,Iletoutalongbreathandstraightened
up.
ThenIsawherroundass.“Oh,forgod’s
sake…”
“Jason,”shemumbledwhenIwasstill
staringathersleepingform.
Asmall,helplessgrowlescapedfrommy
lips.“Yes?”
Shesmiled,buthereyeswerestillclosed
whensheasked,“WillyoustayinDylan’sroomagain?Iknowyouwerehis
friendandnotmine,butIusedtogetsoexcitedwhenyoustayedover.Even
afteryoubrokemyheart,Icouldn’thateyou.Notreally.”
Thinkingshewastalkingaboutmeleaving
aftermymother’ssuicide,Isatdownonthebedandbrushedawaythefew
piecesofhairthatwerecoveringherface.
Lookingaroundtheroom,Isawaneatly
foldedbluethrowontheedgeofherbed.SinceIknewitwouldbedamnnear
impossibletoliftherfromthebedandgetherunderthecovers,Ioptedto
usethethrowtoatleastcoverherlegs.
InsteadofleavinglikeIshould’vedone,I
tookaminutetowatchoverher.ThenIleaneddownandbrushedasmallkisson
hertemple.“I’msorryforbreakingyourheart,sweetheart.Inevermeantto
hurtanyofyou.”
TryingtobequietsoIwouldn’twakeher
up,IhesitatedtoleaveonceIwasatthedoor.Herbreathinghaddeepenedand
shelookedlikemyOlive.
Notminemine…butstill…maybe…Oh,I
wasfucked…
Iwasn’treadytoadmititaloud,butI
mighthavelikedtouchingherbareskinalotmorethanIshouldhave,bothat
theparkinglotandjustthen.
Eitherway,Iwasn’tintrouble.I
shouldn’tbe.
Atleastnotyet.
Hollywood
heartthrobJasonThornspottedgettingcozywithamysterybeauty
Just
weeksago,themoviestarshockedeveryonewhentheback-alleyfootageofhim
andJenniferWidner,25,havingaquickiewasrevealedalloverthemedia
outlets.Whileitwastakendownratherquickly,it’snotsomethingwe’ll
forgetanytimesoon.
However,
inthesephotos,JasonThorn,26,seemstohaveforgottenallabouthiscostar
Jennifer,andhisallegedCanadaquickie,whowasalloverthetabloidsjust
lastweek.Whilewehaveyettoidentifytheyoungwomanintheseintimatepictures,
Jasonseemscompletelyenrapturedwithher.
Aneyewitness
claimed:‘HershirtlookedcompletelyruinedandJasonwashelpingheroutof
itintheparkinglot.Wethoughttheywereabouttogetbusyrighttherein
theopen—theheatbetweenthemwasthatpalpable.Whileshelookedalittle
flustered,theycouldn’ttaketheireyesoffofeachother.Aftershehadthe
shirton,Jasoncaressedherstomach.WewereshockedwhenJasonThornjust
backedoffaftertheshortbutintimatetouch.Theylookedcompletelyinlovewith
eachother.’
After
seeingthesesnapsofthepair,ourteamagrees,especiallytheonewhereJason
isgreetingthemysterywomanwithakissonhertemple.Anyoneelseswooning?
The
rumorsarestillcirculatingthatJasonhaslosttwomajorrolesbecauseofhis
sexcapadesmakingtherounds.However,hedoesn’tseemtooworriedaboutit.
Wouldn’tyouagree?
Thepair
wasphotographedleavingtogether,butoursourcessaytheydidn’theadto
JasonThorn’spadinBelAir.
Sofarwe
haven’theardanythingbackfromJason’sreps.Doyouthinkthisisjust
anotherflingwherethemysterywomanwillendupinanotheralleywithJason
Thorn?Ordoesitlooklikethemoviestarischanginghiswaysfortheladyin
question?Itwoulddefinitelybeafirst,don’tyouthink?Eitherway,we’ll
keepyouintheloop.
ChapterFourteenJason
“Whatareyoudoinghereateightinthe
morning,Megan?”Ihalf-growledassheenteredmyhouse.“Ithoughtourmeeting
wasattwelveo’clock.”Rubbingmyeyes,Itriedtofocusonherasherheels
snappedwithefficiencydownthehallwayandintothelivingarea.Shelooked
waytooreadytostartherday,whereIwasstillhopingtogetridofher
quicklysoIcouldgetbacktobed.
“Youhaven’tbeenonline,”sheguessed
correctlyanddroppedherpurseontheottoman.
“Iwassleeping,Megan.Infact,I’mstill
sleeping.Can’tthiswaituntilourmeeting?”
“I’mafraidnot.”Bending,shefishedher
phoneoutofherbag.“Youmightwanttoputsomethingon.Notallofuswant
toseeyouhalf-nakedintheearlymorning.”Shewavedherhandatmybody
dismissively.
Iyawnedandlookeddownatmynakedchest.
“Whatisthisabout?I’mstillkeepingit
inmypantsifthat’swhatyoucameheretocheck.”
Shetextedsomeoneonherphone,putit
down,andpickedupanotheroneofherphones.Itwastooearlytohandleher.
“Tomwillbehereinafewminutes,”she
said,notlookingupfromherphone.
“Great,”Iyawnedagain.“JustwhatI
neededatthishour,bothofyourfacesupinmy—”
“StopwhiningandgochangewhileImakea
call.I’llletTomin.”
“Thebastardalreadyhashisownsecurity
code;hecanlethimselfin.Hebetterbebringingmesomecoffeeand
breakfast.”
“Tomsaidhe’dcallAlvinover,he’llbring
whateveritisthatyouliketohave.”
“Nowyouarehandlingmyownassistant,
too,Megan?Youdon’thaveenoughpeoplearoundyoutocontrol?”
Shegavemeahardlook,dismissingme
withoutanotherword.
“Justgreat,”Imutteredundermybreathas
Ilefthertodowhateverthehellshewastheretodo.
WhenIemergedoutofmyroom,freshly
showeredandproperlyclothedasperMegan’swishes,TomandAlvinhadjoined
Meganinthelivingroomandwerehavingaquietconversation.
“Whatisthisemergencythatcouldn’twait
afewmorehours?”IaskednooneinparticularasIsatdownrightacrossfrom
them.
“Wehavetomakeastatement,”Megan
startedasshecrumbledamuffinandtookasmallbite.Alvinhandedeveryone
theircoffee.Afterthankinghimandpickingupmyownblueberrymuffin,I
triedtogiveallmyfocustoMegan.“Ididn’twanttosayanythingwithout
talkingtoyoufirst.”
“ThenwhyareTomandAlvinhere?Anda
statementaboutwhat?”
“IthoughtTomwouldwanttobeinonthis
convo.”Shegaveasmallshrug,keepinghereyesawayfromTom.“Andyoutrust
hisopinions.”
“Youhaven’tbeenonlineyet?”Alvinasked,
hidingasmirkbehindhiscoffeecup.
Iraisedaneyebrow.
“AndIwastheonewhocalledAlvinsince
ifyougivethegoahead,he’llbeoneofthefewpeoplewhoisinonthis,”
TomsaidashegaveAlvinahardstare.
IglancedbackatAlvin,buthegavemea
shrugthatclearlysaid,‘Ihavenoideawhat’sgoingoneither.’
“AreyouabouttotellmeI’mgoingtodie
orsomething?”
MeganandTomsharedalookIcouldn’teven
begintodecipher.Takingasipofmyblackcoffee,Iwaitedforthemtospill
whateveritwastheycouldn’twaittotellme.
“Ithinkwefoundyourgirl,”Meganfinally
announced.Tomwasstillavoidingmyeyes.
“Thisisaboutthat?”Iscratchedmy
stubbleandleanedbackinmyseat.“Ithoughtsomeoneelsehadcomeout
claimingIhadsexwiththemintheelevatororsomethinglikethat.What’s
onlinethen?”Iasked,relaxingintomyseatevenmore.
MegantiltedherheadasTomsighed.“Is
thereanothergirlabouttocomeoutandclaimthat,Jason?”
Igaveheragrin.“Idon’tthinkso.”
Sheraisedaneyebrowandwaitedfor
somethingthatwasn’tcoming.
Tombrokeoureyecontactbyrepeatingher
earlierwords.
“Sheisright,Jason.Ithinkwefoundthe
rightgirlforyou.Thisistheperfectopportunityforustouse.Wecan’t
missthis.”
“Ibelievethat’ssomethingI’lldecide,not
you,andcertainlynotMegan.Andwhatopportunityareyoutalkingabout?”
Meganpoweredonhertabletandlookedme
squareintheeye.“Youneedtothinkaboutthisbeforeyoumakeadecision.We
couldn’thavespunabetterstorythanthisandwedidn’tevendoanything.
Thisispure,organicPR.Ifyouthinkaboutit,you’llseethatyourself.This
istheperfectsolution,Jason.AllI’maskingisforyoutothinkaboutthis.
Doyouunderstandme?”
Ilookedatherunblinkinglyandsaid,“I
canseethatwhoeverthisgirlis,theideaofherbeingmydotingwifeis
excitingyouforsomereason,butItoldyoubefore,Megan,Iwon’tmarrysome
girlandhaulheraroundtoeventstogethernoticed.IfI’mabouttosharea
housewithher,Ishouldatleastgetalongwithherasaperson.”
Tomsmiled.“Idon’tthinkthatwillbean
issuewiththisgirl.”
Afterrubbingmytemple,Isighedandextended
myhandtoMegan.Ihaddugmyowngrave,andnowitwastimetolieinit.“All
right,giveittome.”
Wisely,shehandedmethetabletwithout
sayinganotherword.
WhenIsawthefirstphotoofmekissing
Olive’stemple,Ilookedupwithafrownonmyface.
“Whatisthis?SomeonetookOlive’spicture
yesterday?”
“Keepscrollingdown,”Megansaid.
Iscrolleddownasshe’dinstructed,and
allIcouldseewerepicturesofOliveandmefromthedaybefore.Beforewe
headedintothebuildingasIwasjoggingtoherside,mekissinghertemple,a
zoomedinphotoofherclosedeyes—inadamnredcircle—asIwaskissingher
temple.Itdidn’tendthere.Therewerethepicturesofheraftershehad
changedintomyshirt.Asmyangerstartedtorise,Iwasthankfulthatthey
hadn’tmanagedtogetanyshotsofherwhileshewashalf-nakedinherbra,but
theydidhaveshotsofmecaressingherstomachasweclearlystoodalittle
tooclosetoeachother.Ihadn’tnoticedthatIwasstandinginchesawayfrom
herlips.
Theyweren’tthebestquality,somewere
evenblurry,buteveryshotlookedintimate.
Andblurryornot,wewerebeamingateach
other.
“Whatthehellisthis?Whotookthese?”I
asked,onlythennoticingthatAlvinwaslookingatthephotosovermy
shoulder.
“Theywereeithertakenbysomeonewho
worksinthebuildingorjustsomeonewhowasvisiting.Nooneknewyouwere
goingtobethere,andtheshotsarenothighenoughqualitytobefromapap,”
saidMegan.“Thereisanarticleattachedtoit.Readit.”
Agreeingwithherassessmentabouttheimages
havingbeencapturedabystander,Iscrolledfartherdownandgottothe
article.
Myangerreachedawholeotherlevel.I
roseupfrommyseatandtossedthetabletonthecouchbetweenTomandMegan.
Everyonewassilent.
“IhavetocallDylanandtheirparents.If
someonetellsthemaboutthis,they’llmisunderstand.”
“Dylan?”Alvinaskedfromwherehestood,
hisarmscrossedagainsthischest.
“Olive’sbrother.Myfriend,”Iclarified,
glancingatTom.ThatbastardknewIwasfriendswithOlive’sbrother.
“Wecanuseher,”Meganinterruptedbefore
IcouldeventhinkofwhereI’dleftmyphonethenightbefore.
“Whatdidyoujustsay?”Iaskedsoftly.
SurelyIhadn’theardherright.
TomsilencedMeganwithasharplook.“Come
on,let’sjustsitdownforaminute,Jason.Likeyousaid,it’sprettyearly.
I’msureneitherhernorherfamilyhasseenanythingyet.You’llcallthemas
soonaswearegone.”
EventhoughIdidn’twanttoadmitit,he
wasright.Iwouldn’twanttoalarmOlive’smomanddadbycallingatan
ungodlyhour,especiallywhentherewasadefinitechancethattheyknew
nothingaboutthephotos.
Isatmyassbackdownandreachedformy
coffee.AfterIswallowedalmostallofitdown,Igotupandtossedthecup
intothegarbagecaninthekitchen.
“Ok,whohasthis?”IaskedwhenIwasback
andmytemperwasslightlymoreundercontrol.
“Itdroppedonlineaftermidnight.Itried
callingyou,butyouweren’tanswering,whichiswhyIthoughtIshouldcome
hereinthemorninginsteadofwaitingforourmeeting.Weneedtogetaheadof
thisandmakeadecision.”
“Youwereright,thankyoufornotwaiting
untilourmeeting.Idon’twantthemtolearnaboutitfromsomeoneelse.Idoubt
Olivehasseeniteither.Atleastnotyet,notafterhernightout.”
Alvincoughedbehindmeandwalkedtoward
thekitchen.“Sinceyouarehavingthismeetingearly,I’llgoandrearrange
yourschedule.”
“Whatnight?”Meganasked,lookingat
Alvin’sretreatingback.
Iwavedmyhand.“JustincaseImissed
someonetakingpicturesofme,IwasinacollegebarwithOlive.Shewas
celebratinghermoviedealwithherfriendsandIwasinandoutoftherewith
herintenminutestops.Otherthanherfriends,nobodyrecognizedme,sothere
isnothingtoworryabout.”
“Jason,wasthatasmartthingtodo?”Tom
asked.“Especiallywhenyouaretryingtolaylow?Theycould’vewrittenyouup
withacollegegirliftheyhadgottenawhiffofyourscentinthere.”
“Iftheyhadpictures,trustme,they
would’vereleasedthemwiththerestofthis.Iwasokay.”
Megan’ssharpeyeswerestillonme.“So,
whatisyourdecision?”
“Decision?Aboutwhat?”
“Wehaveanopportunityhere,Jason.It’s
uptoyouifweuseitornot,atthispoint.Ifyouaccept,allI’mgoingto
doisreleasewhosheistothemediaandgiveashortbackstoryofhowsheis
yourchildhoodfriend—”
“Sheismychildhoodfriend’ssister,”
Igrowled.
Meganjustkeptgoing.“Andhowsheisthe
authoroftheadaptation…Well,everythingwillfallintoplaceeveneasier
thanweexpected.Noonewillassumeyourmarriageisfake.Allthey’llseeis
twofriendsfallinginloveafterseeingeachotheragainaftersomanyyears.The
publicwilllovethestory.It’stheperfectcover,Jason,andyou
“No,Megan.Nomatterhowperfectthisall
soundstoyou,Iwon’tuseOlive.No.”
“Whosaidyou’llbeusingher?YourPRteam
willbeusingyourstory.Notyou.Sheisyourfriendisn’tshe?Wouldn’tshe
wanttohelpyou?You’realreadyfriends,sowhatifyouliveinthesamehouse
forafewyears?”
“Sheisright,Jason,”Tomjumpedin.“I
don’tthinkOlivewouldmindhelpingyou,andI’msureyourememberwhatItold
youaboutthebook…Ithinkshemightbemorethanokaywiththis.”
Idroppedmyheadintomyhands.Olive,my
wife?Dylanwouldskinmealive.Himaside,Ididn’tevenwanttothinkofwhat
herparentswouldthinkofme.
“Here.”Tomhandedmethetabletagain.
“LookatthesephotosandtellmeI’mnotright.”
“Thechemistrybetweenyoutwospeaksfor
itself,Jason.Youalreadylookhalfinlovewithherinthese.Itwouldn’t
takemuchtomakepeoplebelievethatyoumarriedfortherightreasons,”said
Megan.
IgrabbedthetabletfromTom—maybea
littletooforcefully—andglancedatthewebsitewhereourphotoswere
plastered.
Funnilyenough,wedidlookinlove.
Yeah,Iwasdefinitelyintrouble.
ChapterFifteenOlive
“Wakeup!Wakeup!Wakeup!Wakeup!”
“Goaway,”Igroaned,tossingapillowover
towherethesoundwascomingfrom.
“Youhavetogetup,Olive.You’reallover
theinternet.”
OfcourseitwouldbeLucytryingtowake
meup.ItwasneverthesweetChar.Why,youask?BecauseCharwasn’tacruel
person.NotlikeLucy.Lucyhadarealproblemwithpeoplesleepingpeacefully.
Shewasaproblemallonherown.
“Awesome.Goodnight,”Imumbled.Iturned
mybacktohervoice.
Thebedsankwithherweightwhenshesat
nexttomyhip.
“Idon’tthinkyou’regettingit,Olive.”
Herhandgrippedmyshoulderandsheforcefullyturnedmeonmyback.Shealso
hadthepowerofashe-hulkeventhoughshewasonlyfivefootthree.
“Idon’twanttogetit.Myheadhurts,
Lucy,”Ipleaded,narrowingmyeyesatherasIslowlypulledthecoversover
myface.“ComebackinafewhoursandI’lllistentowhateveryouwant.I’ll
evennod.”
“Fine.Iguessyoudon’tcarethatyour
cozypictures…withJasonThorn…areplasteredallovertheinternet.”
“What?”IshoutedasIsatupalittletoo
fastformypoorbrain.“Ow,ow,ow.”
“Here.”Sheplacedherlaptoponmylapand
waitedformetotakealookwithanannoyinglyawakeandexcitedface.
AsIscrolleddown,witheachpictureI
saw,myeyesgotbiggerandbigger.
“Holyshit,”ImumbledwhenIstartedto
readthearticle.
“Iknow,right?You’regonnahaveJason
Thorn’sdimpledbabies.I’mgonnabethecoolaunt.I’llbabysit.I’llcomeand
watchyourhalf-nakedhusbandwhileI’mbabysitting.”
Ilaughed;granted,itwasalittleforced,
butitstillcountedasalaugh.“Areyouonsomething?”Iscrolledthroughthe
picturesagain.Icouldn’tstoplooking.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
ShelookedatmeasifIwasstupid,then
sighedandmadeherselfcomfortableinmybed—again—bylyingdownbeside
me.
“Youhavetostopgettinginbedwithme,”
Imumbled,tryingtopushheroffthebed.
“Heisinlovewithyou,youareinlove
withhim.Thisishappening.”Shebrushedherpalmstogether.“Mydreamsare
comingtrue!”
“Yourdreams?Please,tellmewhat
you’reonsoIcanmakeitmylifemissiontojoinyouinla-lalandoneday.”
“Oh,shutup.”Asneakymaneuverandshe
wasrightunderthecoverswithme,stealingmypillow.Ipushedatherlegs
andgotdownfromthebed.
“WhatamIgonnado?”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“It’snotJasonwholooksinloveinthese
photos,Lucy,it’sme!Can’tyouseethat?”
“And…?”
“Andhe’llnevertalktomeagain.Dylan
willlosehisheadwhenheseesthese.”
“Clearlyyou’vegoneblindfromtypingaway
atallhoursonyourlaptop.”Sherolledhereyesandmadeherselfevenmore
comfortableonmybed.“Youbothlooksmittenwitheachother.”
“Babe?”Iheardavoicerightoutsidemydoor.
Imademyeyesgoasbigastheycould.
“Jameson?Again?”ImouthedtoLucy
ThenJameson’sheadpeakedin.
“Oh,hereyouare.”Hedidn’tevenknock!“I
thoughtIheardyourvoice.”Heopenedthedoorwider,andIgotagoodlookat
hisnakedchest,andthenlower…
“Ohgod!Jameson,yourpenis!”Iscreamed,
myeyeshurting.“Putsomeclothesonforfuck’ssake!”IgroanedasIcovered
myeyeswithmyhand.
“Oh,hi,Olive.Ididn’tseeyoubehindthe
door.”Helaughed.“IthoughtLucyhadsneakedintoyourroomtogetsome
sleep.”
Ipeekedthroughmyfingers.Lucywasjust
lounginginthebed,enjoyingtheviewwithasatisfiedsmirkonherface.Then
IglancedatJameson;Itriednottolookdown,butwell,isn’titalways
impossibletodothat?Wellatleasthewascoveringhismanpartswithhis
hand,notthathewasdoingagoodjobofit.
Igroanedlouder.
“Babe,Ihaveanearlyclass.Ifyou’re
good,I’mleaving.”
SheshruggedandJamesonwinkedather.
“Congratsonthebook,Olive.Can’twaitto
seethemovie.”
“Thanks,”Imuttered,lookingoverhis
shoulderinsteadofinhiseyes.WhenJamesonfinallyleftandIheardLucy’s
dooropenandclose,IturnedbacktolookatLucy.Herhairwasallmussedup
andshehadamischievousgrinonherface.
Shewiggledhereyebrows.“Hehasagood
sizeonhim,doesn’the?Whichiswhywedon’tcallita‘penis’likeyoujustdid.
That’salmostlikeaninsult.”
Ishookmyhead.Shewasimpossible…but,
yeah,hedidhaveagoodsizeonhim.Goodforher.“Isthatwhyyou
madehimyourboytoy?”
“Andyouwouldn’t?Didn’tyouseethesize
ofhismonsterjustaminuteago?Andthosetattoos?Damn…eventhinkingabout
itisma—”
“Ifyoufinishthatsentence,I’mgoingto
deckyou,Lucy.”
Shelaughedandopenedherarms.“Doyour
best,mysterybeauty.”
Igroanedandleanedmybackagainstthe
door,justincase.Ididn’twanttohaveasecondlookatJameson’smanparts.
“WhatamIgonnado?”
“Nothing.”
“Whatdoyoumeannothing?”
Sheshruggedandpattedthebed.Iwalked
overandsatdown,tryingnottofidgetanymorethanIalreadywas.
“You,mylovelyfriend,aregoingtowait
untilJasoncallsyou,”shesaid.
“Whatmakesyouthinkhe’llcall?”
“Hispeoplemust’veseenthisalready.Trust
me,he’llcallyouwhenheseesit.”
***
ItwasthreehourslaterandIwaslounging
onthecouchwithmylaptopgluedtomyfingers.
Someoneunlockedthedoorandmyheadflew
up.SeeingthatitwasjustChar,Igreetedher.
“Hey.You’rehomeearly.”
“Yeah,ProfessorKindleyhadanemergency
andendedclassearly.”Tossingherhandbagandhernotebooksintoherroom,
shecametositnexttome.“Whatareyoudoing?”
“Blanklystaringatthescreen.”
“Nothingnew,huh?”
“Nope.Istartwritingafewpages,but
thenIgobackanddeleteeverythingIwrote.IthinkImightbeaone-hit
wonder.It’slikeallmycreativejuicesjustdriedup.OrmaybeIwasnever
creativeinthefirstplace,andtheoneIwrotewasjustafluke.”
“I’mprettysureitdoesn’tworkthatway,
Olive,”Charsaidasshestartedmassaginghertemples.
“Headache?”
“Yeah.Ihaven’tbeenfeelingwellever
sinceIopenedmyeyes.”
“Youwantmetocooksomechickensoupfor
you?”
“Nah,I’mgood.Thanksthough.Doyouhave
anyideaofwhatyouwanttowrite,oryoujustcan’tfindthefirstwords?”
“Oh,I’mfindingthefirstwords,alright,
butIcan’tgetintothestoryandendupjusttossingthewholething.”
Shelookedatmewithherbrightblueeyes.
“Thenitisn’ttherightstoryforyoutowrite.You’llknowwhenit’sthe
rightone.”
“I’mnotsosureaboutthat.Myfingersare
itchingtowrite,butIhaveabsolutelynothing.Nada.”
“LetmeknowifIcanhelpyouwith
anything.Plottingorotherwise.”
Iputmylaptopdownonthefloorandgot
up.“I’mgoingtomakeyoutea.”Isaidovermyshoulder.“Yourvoiceis
startingtocrack.”
Shegroanedandreachedformylaptop
“DidJasoncallaboutthephotosyet?”
“Nope.”Ifilledthekettlewithwaterandwhile
waitingforittoboil,Iopenedthecupboardtochoosefromtheteaswehad.“Do
youwantherbalteaorjustregularblacktea?”
“I’llhaveherbaltea,please.”She
whistledsoftly.“Youshouldseethecommentsonthesephotos.”
IlookeduptoseeCharscrollingthrough
thephotosagain.Takingdowntwomugs,Iputtheteabagsinthem.“They’re
talkingshit?”
“No,”shereplied,lookingoverher
shoulder.“Actuallytheythinkyouguyslookadorabletogether.Morethanafew
sayyouarehisnewgirlfriend,anewactressorsomething.”
Isnorted.“I’maddinghoneytoyourtea
andIdon’twanttohearanycomplaintsaboutit.”Charhatedhoneywitha
passion;whenevershegotsickwehadtopracticallyforceitdownherthroat.
Ireachedfortheboilingwaterandpoureditinourmugs.
“Thanks,motherOlive.”
“You’rewelcome,beautifulchildofmine.”
Grabbingthemugs,Iwalkedbacktothecouchandhandedhertheherbaltea.
Thelaptopstillonherlap,sheextended
herneckandsniffedatmytea.“Whatareyouhaving?Itsmellsbetterthan
mine.”
“Justblacktea,EarlGrey.”Sittingnext
toher,Iglancedatthescreen.
“Thisoneismyfavorite,”saidChar,scrolling
downtoanotherpicture,theonewhereJason’shandwasoutofsightandunder
myshirt.“Youbothlooklostineachother.”
“Well,weweren’tlostanywhere,Ihadweird
hotsmoothiespilledallovermeandhewasjustmakingsureIwasokay.Idon’t
knowwhatkindofacreeptookourphotos,buttheysomehowmanagedtocapture
somethingthatwasn’teventhere.Theyareagoodstalker,I’llgivethem
that.”
“IthinkI’mwithLucyonthisone,”she
admitted,andIsharplyturnedtolookather,almostspillinghotteaallover
myself,again.“Ok,don’tkillmeyet,”shesaid,liftingherhandsasifto
wardmeoff.“Ijustdon’tthinkyoucouldcapturesomethinglikethisifthere
wasabsolutelynothingthere.Imean,it’snotlikeyouarestillin
lovewithMarcus,right?”
“Ofcoursenot.Andwell,wealreadyknow
thatI’mstillinlovewithJasonsobothLucyandyouareseeingthat.”
“Olive.”Sheclosedthelaptopandplaced
itnexttoher.“Youprobablydon’twanttogiveyourselffalsehope,but…”
“But…?But,what?”
“Jasonisn’treallylookingatyouasif
youarejusthisbestfriend’slittlesister.Atleastnotinthesephotos.”
Shegesturedtowardthelaptop.“OfcourseIhavenoideahowheistreatingyou
whenyouguysaretogether.”
Iwavedheroffandtookasipofmytea.“He
isjust—”
MyphonestartingringingandCharlifted
aneyebrowasIlookedatherinpanic.
“Whereisyourphone?”sheasked.
“Idon’tknow,inmyroom?”
Thephonekeptringing.
Shetiltedherhead.“Well,aren’tyou
gonnagetit?”
Ishookmyheadvehemently.“I’mscared.”
“Ofwhat?”
Thedamnphonestoppedringingandstarted
backupagain.
“ItcouldbeDylan.Ican’tdealwithhim
rightnow.Godknowswhathe’llsay.Whenwewerekids,hedidn’tlikeme
runningaroundJasonthatmuchsohesureashellwon’tbehappyaboutthose
photosifheseesthem.”
“Whatifit’sJason?”sheasked.
Thatwasevenworse.“Well,ifit’shim,
whatifhe’sangry?”
“Atyou?”Shefrowned.
“Doesn’tmatteratwho.”
Thrustinghermugatme,sheroseup.
“You’rebeingridiculous.”
Bothmugsinmyhand,Iyelledafterher.
“Char,don’tlook!Idon’twanttoknow.Please.”
“Toolate,”shesaid.Keepinghereyeson
me,sheleanedagainstthedoorframeandansweredmyphone.
“Hi,Jason.No,I’mOlive’sfriend,
Charlotte.”
Makingasadfaceather,Ishookmyhead
andwhispered,“I’mnothere.Out!Out!I’mgone.SayIvanished.”
Charlotterolledhereyes.“Uhhuh.Yes,
sheisrighthere.Ofcourse.Takecareofyourself.”
Igroanedloudly.
Shedroppedthephonenexttomeand
grabbedhermugfrommyhand.
“I’mgonnagoandtrytosleepthis
headacheoff.Thanksforthetea.Talktoyoulater.”
“Traitor,”Iannounced.“Theminuteyou
trustsomeone,theyturnintoatraitor.Allofyoupeoplearetraitors!”
Sheclosedherdoorwithoutasecond
glance.
Sighing,Isteeledmyselfandreachedfor
myphone.
“Hello?”
“Whoisthetraitor?”Jasonaskedinan
amusedtone.
“Allmyfriends,”Irepliedtiredly.I
closedmyeyes,lettingmyheartdoitsownthingandflutteratthesoundof
hissoftyetstillrumblyvoice.
Hechuckled.“Howareyoudoing,Olive?”
“Stillbreathing,sothat’ssomething.”
“Youweren’tthatdrunkyesterday.
Stillgotahangover?”
“No,no,I’mfine.It’snothing,really.
I’mjusthavingtroublewriting.”
“Hmmm.Didyouseethephotos?Isthatwhy
youcan’twrite?”
IthoughtaboutpretendingIhadnoidea
whathewastalkingabout,butintheend,Ididn’tthinkIcouldwingit.
“Yeah,Lucyshowedthemtomethis
morning,”Iadmitted.
“Areyouangryatme?”
Ifrownedandtookasipofmytea.“Why
wouldIbeangryatyou?”
“Forthethingstheywroteinthearticle,
andwell,gettingphotographedwithme.It’sbecomeapartofmylifesoI’mused
tonothavinganyprivacy,butyoudidn’tasktobeplasteredalloverthe
internet.Didyoutalktoyourparents?Didtheyseethem?”
“Yeah,no.I’mhopingtheywon’tcome
acrossthem.Andiftheydo…well,itwasnothingafterall,right?I’msure
theyalreadyknowthat.It’snotlikewearehavingasecretrelationshiplike
theyaresaying.”
“Right.”
Drawingmylegsup,Irestedthemugonmy
knee.“And,hey,atleasttheysaidIwasbeautifulinthearticle.Thathasto
begoodformyego,right?”Ilaughedawkwardly.Afterall,ithadfeltgoodto
becalledbeautiful,especiallywhenstandingnexttoJason.
“Ofcourseyouarebeautiful,Olive.You
don’tneedtohearitfromthetabloidstobelievethat.”
Iprettymuchmeltedandbecameonewith
thecouch.
“Thankyou,”ImumbledwhenIcouldform
words.“Areyouangryatme?”Iaskedwhentherewasagapofsilence.
“Angryatyou?WhythehellwouldIbe
angryatyou?”
“Idon’tknow.”Ileanedforwardandput
themugonthesmallcoffeetable.“Afterallthatother…stuffthatcameout,
maybeyoudidn’twanttobeseenwith…hell,Idon’tknow.”Silently,Ihitmy
foreheadwiththepalmofmyhand…andthenhititagain.
“No,sweetheart,I’mnotangryatyou.”
Sweetheart?
Meltedforthesecondtime.
“Nowthatwe’veestablishedthatneither
oneofusisangrywiththeother,Iwantedtoaskyououttodinner,”hesaid.
“Dinner?Me?Likeout,out?”
“Yes.IhavesomethingIwanttotalkto
youaboutandthoughtmaybewecouldgooutandhaveanicedinnertogether.
Betterthanbeingcoopedupinmyhouse.”
“Idon’tthinkyoucaneverfeelcoopedup
inyourhouse,Jason.Ifyoudo,thereissomethingverywrongwithyou.”His
housewasprettymuchheavenonthisearth,atleastforme—especiallywhenhe
wasinit,too.
Hewassmiling;Icouldhearitinhis
wordswhenhespoke.“I’mgladyoulikemyhouse,Olive.EventhoughIagree
withyou,Ithinkforthis,Iwouldliketotakeyouout.”
“ShouldIbescared?Areyougoingtogive
mebadnewsaboutthemovieorsomething?Becauseitprettymuchsoundslikethat,
andI’mnotabigfanofbadsurprises.”
“Everythingisgoinggreatwiththemovie.
Thefilmingstartsinafewweeks.You’llbeatthesetwithmesoyoucansee
itforyourself.”
Atthat,Isatupstraighter.“Iam?I’ll
beonsetwithyou?”
“Ithoughtyou’dwanttosee;wasIwrong?”
“No.No.Iwouldlovenothingmorethanto
bethere.Ifyoucantakemewithyou,IpromiseIwon’tevenbotheryou.Even
oncewouldbeamazing.”
“We’lltalkaboutitmoretonightat
dinner,okay?You’refree?”
“Yes.Yes.Dinner.Tonight?”Myschedule
waswideopenforhim.Inanycase,theonlydateIhadwaswithmylaptop.“Where
shouldIcome?”
“I’llbetherearoundseveno’clock.You
thinkyoucanbeready?”
Iloweredthephoneandcheckedthetime.
Itwasalmostfiveo’clock.
“Ofcourse.”
“Great.I’llseeyoulater,sweetheart.”
Sweetheart…
Gah…He
wasmysweetheart.
“Yeah.Seeyoulater.”
Hangingup,IrantoChar’sroom.
“He’sgoingtotakemetotheset!”I
announcedassoonasIthrewopenthedoor.Shewasonherphone,texting.“Oh,
sorry.Youbusy?”
“No.No.Comein.”Shewavedmeinand
pushedthephoneunderherpillow.“Soyou’regoingtotheset.When?”
Iwalkedinandsatattheedgeofherbed.
“Hesaidthefilmingwouldstartinafewweeks.God,itallfeelssosurreal,
Char.IthinkI’mstartingtofreakoutontheinside.It’sactuallyrealand
it’sactuallyhappening.”Iwasalreadybouncingonthebed.
Shesmiled.“Itdefinitelyisreal.”
“Hesaidhewantedtotalktomeabout
somethingsohe’stakingmetodinnertonight.Ishouldgetready.Ihaveto
hopintheshowerfirst.”Iroseup,butdidn’tmove.Iwantedtoaskforher
help,butshe’dbeenactingweirdlately.Onedaycold,onedayhot…Ididn’t
knowwhattomakeofit,butthoughtitwasthepressureofthelastsemester.
“WhenIgetoutcanyouhelpmepick
somethingtowear?I’vebeenstaringatmylaptoptheentireday,Ifeellikea
mess.”
“Ofcourse.Yougoaheadandgetintothe
shower.I’llbeinyourroomwhenyougetout.”
“Thankyou,Char,”Isaidandkissedheron
thecheek.
Shesmiled.“Youdon’thavetimetoget
mushy.Goahead.”
Iskippedallthewaytomyroom.
***
ThatnightwhenJasonpickedmeup,Iwasa
bigballofenergy.Icould’veusedapeptalkfromLucy,butshewasstudying
withothergirlsfromherclass,andCharwas…wellotherthanbeingsick,she
wasn’tthebestpersontogotowhenyouneededapeptalk.
WhenJasoncalledmetoletmeknowhewas
justafewminutesawayfromtheapartment,Ichosetowaitforhimoutsideto
avoidMarcus’intenseglares.
HisSpyderpulledin,andIpracticallyran
tothepassengersidebeforehecouldgetout.
“Whyareyouwaitingoutside?What’s
wrong?”heaskedassoonasIwasinside.
Itookadeepbreathandhisscenthitme.
Myeyesrolledintothebackofmyhead.
“Huh?”Iaskeddistractedly.“Yeah.Nothing.
Ididn’twanttomakeyouwait.”
“Youlookbeautiful,Olive,”hesaid,his
eyesmovingovermeslowly.
SinceIhadnoideawherehewastakingme,
Charhadthoughtitwouldbethesafestbettokeepitsimplewithablack
dress.Iranmyhandsovermythighs,smoothingandpullingthedressdowna
littleintheprocess,whichwasn’tallthathelpful,soIlinkedmyhandsin
mylapandletitgo.Whileitfeltlikeitwastooshortatthatmoment,I
knewitlookedgoodonmewhenIwasstanding.Iespeciallylikedhowitlooked
fromtheside;thedresscurvedaroundmyassperfectly.
“Wherearewegoing?”IaskedafterIwas
buckledinandhepulledawayfromthecurb.
“IthoughtSohoHousewouldbebestfor
privacy.Atleastwewon’tgetphotographed.”
“Oh,theprivateclubthingy?Youhaveamembership?”
“Yeah.I’mnotahugefan;Ipreferthe
privacyofmyownhome,butsometimesIhavetomeetindustrypeopletherefor
lunchorotherbusinessmeetings.”
“Iunderstand.”Didthatmeanwewereabout
tohaveabusinessmeeting?
Therestoftheridewasawkwardlyquiet.
Apparentlyneitheroneofushadanythingmoretosay,whichIdidn’tthink
bodedwellforme.
Afterhepulledintothegarageand
completedthecheck-in,hecasuallyputhishandjustabovemybum—practically
jumpstartingmyheart—andguidedmetotheelevators.
Whenthesilencebecametoomuch,Iasked,
“Iseverythingallright?”Ididn’tmindcomfortablesilences,butIhada
feelingthatsomethingelsewasgoingonwithhim.Helookeddistracted.
Hewasfrowningwhenhelookeddownatme.
“Yeah.Why?”
Igavehimasadsmile.“Idon’tknow.You
aren’ttalking.Youseemtenseandnotsohappytobehere.”
Hiseyessoftenedandhegentlytuggedat
myhair.“It’snotyou,littleone.Justhadastressfulday.”
Nodding,Iswallowedandlookedawayfrom
hiswarmeyes.
Exitingtheelevatoratthetopfloor,we
walkedupthestairsandthroughthesomewhatcrowdedbar,andthenintothe
coolestdiningareaI’deverseeninmylife.
Theentirerooftopwasfilledwithlush
olivetreesandotherplants.Thelanternsandtwinklelightshangingthrough
thebrancheslitupthewholespaceandcreatedtheperfectsetupfora
romanticevening.But,fromthelookonJason’sface,Icouldseethatthiswas
farfromaromanticeveningforhim.TryingtoignorethebeautifulviewofLA,
wefollowedthefrontdeskgirltoatablethatwasmostlyoutofthesightof
theotherpatrons.
“Jason!”someguyyelledjustaswewere
abouttositdown.Icouldn’tseetheownerofthevoice,butJasonwavedatsomeone
andsatdownacrossfromme.
“Oneoftheproducersofmylastmovie,”he
explainedwithasmileonhisface.Ismiledbackathim.
Withoutanyfurtherconversation,we
orderedourdrinksandfood,andthenIsimplywaitedforJasontospillthe
beans.
“Ithoughtyouwouldenjoytheatmosphere
here,”hesaidrightasawaiterbroughtourdrinks.Jasonhaddownedhis
whiskeybeforethepoorguycouldevenplacemyLemonDropinfrontofme.He
orderedanewoneforhimselfandsuddenlypushedbackhisseatandroseup.
“Ineedtosayhitoafewpeople,I’llbe
rightback,”hesaidandwalkedawayfromme.
Staringathisbackinshock,Ireachedfor
mycocktail,tookasip,andthenanotherbigone.
ThewaitercamebackwithJason’ssecond
drink,butJasonhadn’treturnedyet.Ihadtoforcemyselftosmilewhenhe
gavemeasnobbishlook.
“Awesome,”Imuttered,takingoutmyphone
totextLucy.
Me:I’msittingonabeautifulrooftop,
surroundedbyolivetreesandtwinklelights—alone.
Lucy:Whatdoyoumeanalone?
Me:Idon’tknowwhatexactly,butsomething
iswrongwithJason.Wejustsatdown,orderedourfoodanddrinks,andhe
jumpedupandlefttosayhitoafewpeople.
Lucy:Thatdoesn’tsoundtooominous.I’m
surehe’llbeback.
Me:Well,itis.He’sbeenactingweirdfrom
themomentIgotintohiscar.Noeyecontact,nonothing.
IleanedforwardalittletoseeifIcould
spothim.Sureenough,hewasstandingnexttoagroupoftenortwelvepeople
whowerehavingdinner.Abeautifulblondewomanjoinedthegroupandinstead
ofsittingdown,shecametostandnexttoJasonwhenshesawhim.Shetouched
hisarm,leanedintowhispersomethingintohisear,andsaidsomethingfunny
enoughtomakeJasonthrowbackhisheadandlaugh.Thenhishandsneakedaround
herwaist…andIsatmyassbackdown.
Perfect.
RememberingIwasn’toutwithJasonbut
withJasonThorndidn’teasemyworries.I’dtaketheotherguyanyday.
Me:Idon’tthinkI’mfeelingwell.Iwant
tocomehome,Lucy.
Lucy:Hey,it’llbeokay.Youareacat.A
purring,contentone.I’msurehewantedtotalktoyouaboutthemovie.Didn’t
yousaysoyourself?Ifheupsetsyou,I’llkickhisass,don’tworry.
Therewasnowaythatcatcrapwouldwork
thistime.
BeforeIcouldtextback,Jasonreturnedto
thetable,mutteredanapology,gavemeastrangelook,andreachedforhis
drinkagain.
Feelingdeflated,Iplayedwiththeedgeof
thetableandkeptsippingmydrinkasItriedtofocusonthebeautifulview.
Atsomepoint,heaskedafewquestions
abouthowmynewnovelwascomingalong,andIansweredallofhisquestions
withunnecessarilylonganswers.Eventuallythough,Igaveuptryingtoengagehim
inconversationwhenhestartedtextingwithhisagent.
Ourfoodcame—wehadbothordered
salmon—and—surprise,surprise—weateinsilence.
Ifpickingatthepoorfishcountedas
eating,thatis.
Myphonevibratedtwice,butIdidn’tcheck
toseewhoitwas.Nomatterhowmanytimesshetexted,Iwasnocat—especially
notapurringone.Halfwayintoourawkwardandverydisappointingdinner,I
gaveuponthefoodtooandjustleanedbackinmyseattogazeatthecity
skyline.Ihatedsulkingingeneral,butsittingacrossfromJasonand
sulking…well,itwasallkindsofwrong.Evenso,therewasnowayIcouldact
likeIwashavingthetimeofmylifeatthatmomenteither.
“Olive?”
Solostinmyownhead,IflinchedwhenI
heardJason’sthickvoice.
“Yes?”
Hetiltedhisheadandfurrowedhisbrows.
“Areyouokay?”
“Idon’tknow.Areyou?”Iaskedback.
Hescratchedathisstubble.“Whatdoyou
mean?”
“You’vebarelysaidawordtomeeversince
wesatdown,Jason.Notthatyouwereachatterboxinthecar,butyou
literallyspokemaybetwentywordstome.Sinceyouweretheonewhoinvitedme
out,Ihavenoideawhat’shappening,butI’mgoingtowaituntilyoufinish
yourdinnersoyoucantakemehome.Betteryet,ifyoucantellsomeoneto
callmeacab…dotheyevendothathere?Anyway,iftheydo,Icangetmyself
home.”
Afewtablestoourleft,agroupofpeople
roaredwithlaughter,drawingmyattentionawayfromJason.Whycouldn’twebe
laughingwithjoylikethat?Jasonwasgoingtotakemetoamovieset,the
moviesetthatwasbeingsetupfortheworldI’dcreated.Iwasgoing
toseeIsaac’sroom,touchthebedwherehewokeEvieupinthemiddleofthe
nightjustbecausehecouldn’twaittokissherforthefirsttime.Ishould’ve
beentheonelaughingmyassoffwithjoy,notsulkinginfrontofasexgod.
Hewasn’tmysexgod,butIwasinhis
vicinity,andGodhadgivenmeeyesforsuchoccasionsafterall.
IglancedbackatJasonandsawhis
troubledexpression.
“Fuckme,”hemutteredalmosttohimself.
Iwouldhappilyfuckyouifthat’syour
problem.
Reachingforhissecondglassofwhiskey,
hedrankthelastbitinonebiggulp,pushedhischairbackwithaloudnoise,
andcametomyside.
Ihadtocranemynecktolookupathim.
Heofferedmehishand.“Comeon.Ican’t
dothisherewithallthesepeoplearound.Let’sgo.”
“Gowhere?”Iasked,myeyessuspiciously
jumpingbetweenhishandandeyes.
Clearlydonewithwaitingformetodecide,
hepulledbackmychairwhileIwasstillsittinginitandtookmyhand
himself.
GrabbingthesmallclutchIhadborrowed
fromChar,Ilethimpullmeawayfromoursadtableandtriedtoignorethe
warmththatwastravellingallovermybodyfromfeelinghiswarmskinonmine
again.
Evenholdinghandswithhimcouldcountas
accomplishingchildhooddreams,right?Andithadalreadyhappenedmorethan
once.Ishould’vecountedthenightasasuccess.OnlyIhadnoideawhatwas
comingnext.
Talkaboutchildhooddreams…
ChapterSixteenOlive
Insteadofdrivingmehome,hedroveus
backtoBelAir,totheheaventhatwashishome.
“Doyouwantsomethingtodrink?”heasked
assoonaswewereinside.
“I’mgood.Thankyou.”
“I’llgetsomethingformyselfthen.”
Hepouredhimself…Ididn’tevencarewhat
itwasatthatpoint.Ijuststoodinthemiddleofhislivingroom,hugging
myselfandgenerallyfeelinglikecrap.
“Maybeyoushould’vedroppedmeathome,
Jason,”Isaidwhenhekepthisbackturnedtome.“Idon’tthinkthisnight
outwasagoodidea.Ifthisisaboutyoutakingmetotheset,or,hell,I
don’tknow,totellmethatyouthinkmybookiscrap…ormaybeit’saboutthe
photos,thatwouldmakemoresense,bu—”
“Stop,Olive.Juststop,”heinterrupted
me.
Hefinallyleftthebottleofalcoholalone
andwalkedtomyside.Cuppingmycheeks,helookedintomyeyes.“Yourbook
wasamazing.You’reamazing.Stopthinkingbadlyaboutyourself.Ihaveto…no,
Ineedtotellyousomething,oraskyousomething.Hell…”Heletmyfacego
andturnedhisbacktome,again.“I’malreadymakingamessofthis.Ijust
don’tknowhowtosayit…wheretostart.”
“Well.”Idroppedtheclutchontothecomfy
lookingarmchair.“I’mhalfconvincedyou’retryingtotellmeyouhavetokill
me,soitcan’tbeworsethanthat.Justtellmeandgetoveritwithalready.”
Herakedhishandthroughhisalready
sexilymesseduphairandletoutadeepbreath.“You’reright.Okay.Youliked
sittingoutsidelasttime,solet’sgoout.”Grabbingmyhand,hewalkedus
outside.
“Youhavechaiselounges,”Isaidwhenwestepped
outside.Thereweresixofthemandtheylookedgorgeousnexttothepool.
Therewerealsomorethanafewgiantcushions,theonesthatyoucancurlup
andcomfortablysleepon.“Youdidn’thavethemthelasttimeIwashere.”
“Yeah,IaskedAlvintofindsomething
comfortabletositonforwhenIhadguestswhowantedtositclosetothepool
insteadofatthetable.”
Hehadgottenthembecauseofme?
Iwasunabletoholdbackmysmile.
Wearrangedthecushionsclosertothepool
andsatdownfacingeachother.
“I’vedancedarounditenough,soherewe
go,”hestarted.Isatupstraighter,readyforwhateverhewasabouttothrow
myway.
“Mypublicistwantsmetogetmarried,
Olive.”
Wait.What?Iwasn’treadyforthat!
“Comeagain?”
“Ilostafewjobsafterthealleyvideo
scandal;apparentlytheydon’tthinkI’mseriousenoughaboutmywork,andno
majorstudiowantstodealwiththat.Theydidn’twantthenegativepress
aroundmetoaffecttheirmovie,sotheyendedmycontracts.Tomthinksthat’ll
onlybethestartifthingsdon’tchange.”
Wait.What?
Iwasbarelyhearingawordofwhathewassaying.
Hewasgettingmarried?
WasIcursed?Becausetherewasnowaythis
wasfair.I’dlongagogivenuponmychildhoodcrush,butnowafterseeinghim
again,spendingtimewithhimagain…nowhewasgettingmarriedto
someone?
“Waitasecond.”Ishookmyhead.“Idon’t
understand.Whatdoesthathavetodowithyougettingmarried?”
“It’swhattheydointhisindustry,Olive.
Theypaintyoualifeforthepublic.Theyshapeyouintosomethingnew,
somethingthatfitsintotheirstandards.It’sallanillusion.Sometimeseven
inyourprivatelifeyouhavetokeepacting.Yougetanewgirlfriend;your
publicistssitdownanddrawupacontract.Everythingendsupinacontract
“Sowhynotgetagirlfriend?”
Apretendgirlfriendwasstillbad,butawife?!
I’dreadenoughromancenovelstoknowthatthosemarriagesalwayshadashot
atareallove,andwhatwomaninherrightmindwouldn’tfallinlovewith
Jasonafterspendingsometimewithhim?
Heshookhishead.“No.Theythinkthe
mediawillseerightthroughthat,andifthepublicandeveryoneelsethinks
I’mplayingthem,it’llonlyburymycareerdeeperintotheground.Longstory
short,MeganthinksthatifIgetmarriedandactthepartforafewyears,
everyone’sopinionaboutmewillchange.Inthemeantime,I’llbeabletofocus
onmyworkinsteadofdealingwiththerippleeffectsmyactionscauseinthe
media.”
Myheartsinkingfurtherandfurther,I
triednottoshowwhatIwasfeeling—pureagony—onmyface.
“Thencongratulationsareinorder,I
guess,”Isaid,properlytakenback.“Wow.You’regettingmarried.Youalready
announcedit?”
Helaughed,anditwasn’tahappylaugh.
Farfromit.“Yeah,no.”
Notlookingathim,Ileanedtomyleftand
pushedmyhandintothepoolwater.Itwasachillynight,butIwashardly
feelinganything.
“MypublicistandTomhavebeenshowingme
headshotsofsomenewactressesforquitesometimenow,butIcouldn’tchoose
one.”Hecontinuedtobreakmyheart.“Well,nowtheychosesomeoneforme.”
Headshots?Thatwasfreakinghilarious.
Choosingawifebylookingatheadshots?Obviously,Hollywoodwasn’tmything.
Whereisthelove,people?
Iforcedmylipstotiltup.“Whoisthe
luckylady?”
Insteadofansweringme,hesaidthe
strangestthing.“Doyourememberthefirstdaywemet?ThefirstdaywhereI
foundyouhidingnexttothewallupstairs?”
Mysmileturnedgenuine.“Bitsandpieces.”
False.OfcourseIrememberedthatday.
“Then,”hesaidasheshiftedinhisseat.
“Letmeansweraquestionyouaskedmebackthen.”Hepaused,thensaid,“Yes.”
Istaredathim,clueless.“What?”
HadIaskedhimifhelikedpieornot?Ididn’t
rememberaskinganything.
“Yestowhat?”
“Youdon’tremember,”hemumbledashe
scrubbedhisstubble.Takingadeepbreath,heremindedme,“Youaskedmeto
marryyou…so…wouldyouliketomarryme,Olive?”
Ilaughed.LikeabigLOLlaugh.ThenIsaw
hisface.“What?You’reserious?”
Abig,giantlumptookresidenceinmy
throat,almosttothepointofsuffocatingme.Couldhehearmyheartbeat?See
howmyhandswerestartingtoshake?“You’renotserious,right?”Iaskedat
last,mysmilelonggone.
Hegavemeasarcasticlaugh.“Apparently
ourphotosmadeeveryonebelievethatwewereinlovewitheachother,and
sincewealreadyhaveapast,Meganthinksthepublicwon’tquestionour
marriage.Theoppositeactually.”
“Ourmarriage?”Imanagedtochokeout.He
wasactuallyserious.Itwasrightthereinhiseyes.
“Ifyouacceptthatis.”
“Wow.”Iscrambleduptomyfeetandwalked
awayfromhim.“Wow.”
Apartofmewasscreaminginsidemeto
jumponhim,monkeystyle,andshout‘Yes!Ofcourse,I’llmarryyou.YES!’until
myvoicegrewhoarsesohewouldgetthepoint.Afterall,I’dbeenwishingfor
thismomenteversinceIwaseightyearsold,hadn’tI?Theotherpartof
me…well,therewasnootherpartofme.Apparently,Iwasjustonegiant,
mushy,JasonThornlover.
IjumpedwhenJason’shandtouchedmy
shoulderandheturnedmetofacehim.Ihadn’tevenheardhimgetup.
“I’mmostlikelyscrewingthisup.Letme
explainalittlemorebeforeyouanswer.”
Imusthavenodded,becausehecontinued.
“Ifyouaccept,we’llgetmarriedinaweek
ortwo.”
Igavehimasarcasticlaugh.Didhethink
givingmethatinformationwouldhelp?Becauseitdidn’t.Notatall.
Hekeptgoing.“Ofcourse,you’lllivehere
withmeuntilthedivorce.”
Weweren’tevenmarriedyet,andhewas
alreadyplanningforadivorce?
“InthecontractI’vesignedwiththe
studioforSoulAche,theyaddedaclausethatsaysIcan’tbeina
relationshipwhilewearefilmingthemovieandthroughthepromotionphaseof
it.However,sinceyouaretheauthor,usgettingmarriedwouldbeapriceless
promotionforthem.”Hestoppedtalkingandlookedintomyeyes.“MeganandTom
thinkyoumighthavehadmeinyourmindwhenyouwroteyourbook.”
Myheartliterallystoppedbeating,longer
thanitshouldhave.Istoodfrozenuntilhespokeagain.
“Butthatcan’tbetrue,right?”
“Ofcoursenot.”Ishookmyhead.
“Right.Well,thepublicwillthinklike
MeganandTom,”hemuttered,hiseyesstillsearchingmine.“Theythinkthe
executiveswillbehappyaboutthenewssinceitwillonlydrawmoreattention
tothemovie.Whenthestorygetsoutthatwe’retogether,everyonewilltalk
abouthow,aftersomanyyears,wefoundeachotheragain,howthemoviestar
fellinlovewiththeauthoroftheirownstory.Inthemovie,practicallyall
they’llseeismefallinginlovewithyou.Themoretheytalkaboutus,the
moreyourbookandtheirmoviewillbementioned.And,well,you’llbethegirl
whomademegiveupmyoldways.”
Iopenedmymouth,buthestoppedmeand
tookmyhandsinhis.
“Yes,thiswillhelpmegeteveryoneoffof
mybacksoIcangetbacktodoingwhatIlovedoingwithoutallthismedia
crap,butitcanalsobeagoodthingforyourcareer,too.Yournextbookis
prettymuchguaranteedtobeanotherbestsellerbeforeyouevenfinishwriting
it.”
Ididn’tlikehearingthat.Notatall.I
didn’twantpeopletoreadmywordsjustbecauseIwasmarriedtotheir
favoritemoviestar.Iwantedtomakemyownpath,notwalkinJason’sshadow.
“Thetruthis,Olive,I’dtakemarryingyou
overmarryingsomegirlIdon’tknowanyday,somegirlwhoisjustlookingto
getapiggybackridebymarryingme.”
Lucky,luckyme.
Wasn’tthatthemarriageproposalevery
girldreamedtheywouldgetfromtheloveoftheirlife?
“Wearefriends,right?”heaskedwhenI
keptsilent.
Stillshell-shocked,Iwastryingveryhard
tokeepupwithhim.Inodded.Iguessedwecouldbecalledfriends.“Itmight
befunlivingtogetheragain.You’llhaveyourownroomrightacrossfrommine,
justliketheolddays,exceptthistimethereisnoDylantobotheryou.I’ll
mostlybegone,filming.”Helookedaroundhisheavenlybackyard—ifthatexpansive
spacecouldevenbecalledabackyard,thatis—andgavemyhandsasqueeze.
“Youcanhavethisplacealltoyourself,Olive.Itwouldbeeasiertowrite
hereinsteadofinahousefilledwithroommates,right?”Hiseyescamebackto
me.
“I’mnotevenwriting,”Isaidstupidly.
“What?”
“IthinkI’mfreshoutofcreativity.
Nothingnewiscoming,sothatmighthavebeenmyfirstandonlybook.”
Hetiltedhisheadandshowedmehis
hypnotizingdimple.
“MaybewhenyoumovehereIcanhelpwith
yourcreativityissues.”
Myeyesgotstuckonhismouth.
Whatthehellisthatsupposedtomean?
Iforcedmyeyesawayfromhislips.Iwasdreaming
ofanalternateworldwherewewerekissing.Whentheloveofyourlifeasks
youtofreakingmarryhim,youlaughwithjoy,maybeevenshedafewhappy
tears,andeventuallykiss,right?Butthiswasn’tmychildhooddreamcoming
true,wasit?No,thiswouldjustbelivinginthesamehousewithJasonThorn,
actinglikewewereinloveonlywhenwereoutinpublic,maybeholdinghis
hand,kissinghimonthecheek.
CouldmyheartsurviveJasonThorn?
“So,whatdoyouthink?”
“About?”
“Marryingme…”
DidhereallynotseehowIfeltabouthim?
Notevenalittle?
“I’mnotsureifI’mcapableofthinking
rightnow,Jason,”Iadmitted.
“You’llbesavingme,Olive.”
Butwhatwouldhappentomeintheprocess?
Thatwastherealquestion.Myheartwaswillingtogoalongwithwhathewas
proposing;afterall,therewasnowayIcouldattendhisweddingknowingit
could’vebeenmeuptherestandingrightnexttohim—evenifitwasalie.But
mymindwasn’tthinkinganyofthat;itwasgivingoutallkindsofwarning
signs.
“CanIthinkaboutit?”
“Ofcourse,”hesaid,lettingmyhandsgo.
Iwascold.Verycold.
Notknowingwhattodowithmyself,I
huggedmyelbowsandlookeddownatmyfeet.
Hisfingertiltedmychinupandheducked
lowtocapturemyeyes,soIgavethemtohim.Hewassmilingthen,hiseyes
kind.“It’sokayifyoudon’twanttosayyes,littleone.It’snotsomethingI
thoughtIwoulddothisyeareither.”
Washegettingclosertome?Involuntarily—yeah,
no,itwasverymuchvoluntarily—Itookastepforwardtoclosethedistance
betweenus.Hiseyesweremybeacon.
Whatdidheseeinmyeyes?
Hisgazedroppedtomyneck.Heliftedhis
handandhisfingertipstouchedthearchofmyneck.Istoppedbreathingand
swallowed.Hisgazejumpeduptomineasifthemotionstartledhim.Thenhis
fingertipstrailedupandaroundmyneckandtangledinmyhair,hisgentle,
unexpectedtouchcausingmybodytotremble.
MyeyesfellclosedandIbreathedinhis
scent.
Hewasstandingsoclosetome.
Tomyheart.
HisthumbcaressedmycheekbonesandI
tiltedmyheadintohistouch.
“Olive,”hewhispered.
Thatvoice…
Ishivered,gotwet…Mybodydidallkinds
ofthingsthatalwayshappeninromancenovels.
Hewasgoingtofreakingkissme!
Ifithappens,don’tfreakout,Olive.
You’reacalmwaterfall,apurringfucking
cat.
Atfirst,herestedhisforeheadagainst
mineandwejuststoodlikethatforamoment,breathingeachotherin.
Gently.Slowly.
Hisnosetouchedmine.
Then,nothing.AbsolutelyNOTHING!His
phonestartedringingandhishandsstiffenedagainstmysuddenlyheatedskin.
Foramomentthere,ithadfeltlikehewasrighttherewithmeandtherewas
nooneelseintheworldotherthanus—butthen,nothing.
Hisdamnphonewasacockblockerafter
all.
Hiseyesstillfocusedonme,hetookafew
stepsback,answeredhisphone,andonlythenbroketheeyecontact.Hadhis
eyesdarkened?WasIstartingtoseethings?
Iliftedmyfingerstotouchmylips.How
couldIfeellikehislipshadcaressedmineeventhoughhehadn’teventouched
me?
IwalkedbackinsidetowhereIhadleftmy
clutchandpickeditup.
WhenJasoncameinside,Iwasreadytoleave
beforeIdidsomethingstupid.
Iwasgoingcrazy.
ChapterSeventeenOlive
ThemomentIwasinmyapartment,Iwalked
straightintoLucy’sroom.MyhandswerealreadycoveringmyeyeswhenIsaid,
“Fortheloveofallthecutepuppiesoutinthewholeworld,ifthereareany
penisesdangling,tuckthemaway.”
IheardLucy’slaugh.“I’malone,you
dork.”
Droppingmyhandsdown,Iclosedherdoor
andleanedbackagainstit.Lucystraightenedupinherbedandputdownher
laptop.“Whathappened?Youneveransweredmytexts.”
Itookadeepbreathandthenslowlyletit
go.
“JasonaskedmeifIwouldliketomarry
him.”
Lucystaredatmeunblinkingly.
Liftingmyhand,Ilookedatitandthenup
toLucyagain.“Myhandsareshaking.”
“Excuseme?”
“Myhandsareshaking,”Irepeated.
“Notthat.Couldyourepeatwhatyousaid
beforethat?Idon’tthinkIgotthat.”
“HeaskedmeifIwouldmarryhim.”
“Okay.AmIdreamingorareyoureallyinmy
room,tellingmethatJasonThornproposedtoyou?”
Icoveredmyfacewithmyhandsand
groaned.
“Couldyoucomehereforasecond?”Lucy
askedcalmly.
Afterafewsteps,Iwassittingright
besideher.Reachingout,shepinchedmyleg.
“Ialreadytriedthatonmywayover.Nota
dream.”
“Holyshit!”shebreathedout,coveringher
mouthwithherhands.“Holyshit,woman!Didyouputaspellonhimor
something?Damnbutyou’refast.”
“Lucy,Ineedyoutolistentomevery
closely,canyoudothatforme?”
“Sure,IbelieveI’mcapableofhearing
whatyouareabouttosay.Bytheway,I’mveryimpressedandequallyshocked
rightnow,ifyoucouldn’ttell.”
“Yeah,Idon’tthinkyou’llbethat
impressedafteryouhearthewholestory.”
Huggingherpillowtoherstomach,she
motionedformetogoon.
“Apparentlythealley—”
“No,wait!”Shepressedherfingeragainst
mylipsandjumpeddownfromherbed.“I’mgonnagetthetequilaIhidinthe
kitchen.Weneedshotstocelebrate.”
“Wearenotcelebratinganything,Lucy!”I
hissedbehindherback,butshewasalreadygone.
Whenshecamebackshewasholdingtwoshot
glassesandahalffulltequilabottle.Shehandedmetheshotglassesand
pouredthetequila.
“We’renotcelebrating,”Isaidagain.
“Fine.Bottomsupanyway.Ineedalcoholin
mysystemtolistentothis.Humorme.”
Wetooktheshotsandshetookherseat,
thetequilabottleclutchedtightlyinherhands.
Istartedagain,“Apparentlythealleyvideo
didmoredamagethanwehadthought.”
“Howcome?”
“Noquestions,”Iwarned.
Sheopenedhermouth,butIclosedmyhand
overitbeforeshecouldaskanythingelse.“Ineedtotellitallatonce,
okay?I’mhavingahardtimestayingcalmrightnowasitis.I’mlettingyou
go,butnoquestions.”
Shenodded,soIpulledmyhandback.
“Ok,heregoesnothing.LikeIsaid,
apparentlythevideomessedthingsupbigtimeforhim.Becauseofthat,his
publicistandagentwanthimtomarrysomeone.”Hereyesgrewhuge,butinstead
ofspeaking,shetookamouthfulfromthebottle,grimacingwhenitburneddown
herthroat.“Youknow,becomeafamilymanorwhateverthehelltheyare
thinking.Sotheyhavebeenshowinghimheadshots.Freakingheadshots,canyou
believethat?”
Keepingsilent,shenodded
enthusiastically.
“Well,Ican’t.Anyway.Longstoryshort,
hedidn’tlikeanyofthepotentialbridestheywereshowinghim.Enterme.
Whenourphotoswentpublicandeveryoneseemedtothinkwewereblissfullyin
love,hispublicistsuggestedthatIwouldbetheperfectbride-to-bebecause
ofourpasttogether.Hesaidnoonewouldthinkitwasapublicitystuntto
clearthenegativepressaroundhim.Hemustagreewiththeirbrilliantidea
becauseheaskedmeifIwouldliketomarryhimandbecomehisroommate.”
“CanItalknow?”
“Yes,please.”
“Good.Okay,justasecond.”Shetook
anotherswigfromthebottleandofferedittome.Itooktwobigsips.
“So,yousaidyes,right?”sheaskedasI
waswipingmymouthwiththebackofmyhand.“Tellmeyoudidn’tsayno.
Becauseifyoudid,ImighthavetopunchyouintheeyeandIdoubtthatwould
lookgoodonthecoverofthosetabloids.”
“Ifreakedoutandleft.”
“Clearlyyou’velostyourmind.”
Pushingmeaway,shegotupfromthebed
andplacedthebackofherhandonmyforehead.
“Youdon’tseemtohaveafever.”
Islappedherhandaway.
“WhatamIgonnado,Lucy?”
Sheleaneddownsowewereeyetoeyeand
emphaticallysaid,“You’regoingtomarryJasonfreakingThornofcourse.”
Ifellbackonherbed.“Idon’tthink
that’sagoodideaLuce.”
“Whythehellnot?”
“It’snotgoingtobearealmarriage.What
ifhebr—”
“No.”Sheshovedherfingerinmyface.
“You’renotgonnastartwithallthewhatifthishappens,whatifthathappens
crap.”
“Didyouhearsomething?”Iasked,rising
upfromthebed.
Tiltingherhead,shelookedbackather
doorandlistened.“I’mnothearinganything.”
“Soundedlikesomeoneopenedadoor.Who’s
home?I’mnotsupposedtotalktoanyoneaboutthis.Igotmywarningright
beforehedroppedmeoff.”
“Marcusisn’tinandCharisnotfeeling
well.LastIcheckedshewassleeping.”
Irelaxed.“Still,let’skeepitdown.”
“Thisfakemarriage,thisisyour
opportunity,Olive.Thisisyourchancetomakehimfallinlovewithyou.”
“I’mnotsureifwearestilltalkingabout
thesamethinghere.”
“Look,”shestartedinher,‘I’mavery
patientperson’tone.“You’restillinlovewithhim,aren’tyou?Alwayshave
been,andIbelieve,alwayswillbe.Isawthosephotos,Olive.Heisintoyou.
Youcan’tfakethatkindofchemistry.Okay,maybeheisnotinlove,atleast
notyet.I’llgiveyouthatmuch.Butyouhavetogiveyourselfachance.You
saidyou’llbelivingwithhimforcryingoutloud.Whatmoredoyouwant?”
Myreluctancealreadydissolving,Iturned
myhopefuleyesuptoLucy.“You’reright.Iknowyouareright.Iwantto
marrythefuckoutofhim.ButheisalsothefuckingJasonThorn,Lucy.
Ifhewasanormalguy,justworkinganormaljob,Iwouldn’teventhinktwice
aboutit.ButheisJasonThorn.Imean,hecoulddomuchbetterthanme.”
Shesmiled.“Buthechoseyou,didn’the?
Andwhatthehell,let’ssayitdidn’tworkout.Whatdoyouhavetolose?Your
nexttenbooksarealreadybestsellersifyoumarrytheguy.”
“Whyareyouthesecondpersontosaythat
tometonight?”Fallingbackonherbed,Ireleasedalongbreath.“Iwantto
marryhimsobad,Lucy.”
Lucyclimbedupandlaydownnexttome.
“What’sholdingyouback?”
“IthinkI’mscared.Tobethatcloseto
him,tofallindeeper.HealreadybrokemyheartoncewhenIwasjustakid,
andhedidn’tevenknowhewasbreakingit.Thistimearoundhe’llruinme.”I
closedmyeyesandtookadeepbreathtoclearmymind.“Icamethiscloseto
jumpingonhimandholdingonfordearlife.”Iliftedmyhandandgesturedhow
muchwithtwoofmyfingers.
Turningonmyside,IlookedatLucy.“Did
IevertellyouthatIaskedhimtomarryme?ThefirstdayIsawhimatour
house?WhenIwaseightyearsold.”
Sheproppedherselfupononeelbowand
studiedmyface.“Nope.Tellmenow.”
IrecountedeverythingIcouldremember
fromthatday.“EvenIhadforgottenaboutthat,butapparentlyhestill
remembers.”
Therewasamomentofsilence.
“IthinkI’mgoingtosayyes.”
“Damnrightyouare!”
“ShouldItexthimorsomething?”
Shechuckledandwhackedapillowonmy
face.“Nodumbass.Lethimthinkaboutyouuntilhehearsback.You’lltellhim
tomorrow.”
Ipushedthepillowawayfrommyface.“So,
whatamIsupposedtodonow?”
“Gotosleep?”
“Yeah,Idon’tthinkthat’shappeninganytime
soon.”
“Doyouwanttomakeaplan?”Hereyeswere
twinklingwithmischief.
“Aplanforwhat?”
“AplanforhowtomakeJasonThornfallin
lovewithyou.”
“I’llpass.”
“Butit’llbefun!”
“Ihavenodoubtaboutthat,butIalready
haveaplan.”Scootingdownfromthebed,Ibackedawaytowardthedoor.“I’ll
justlovehimrighttohisface.”
“That’smygirl!Show’emhowit’sdone.”
“Ifitallblowsupinmyface,you’llhelp
mepickupthebitsandpiecesofmyheart,right?”
Shejumpeddownfromthebedandgavemea
bighug.
“Hoesoverbros.Always.”
“Greattohear.I’lljustgoandtryto
calmdowninmyroom.”
“I’mstillgonnamakealistofwhatyou
candotohim.Justincaseyouneedit.ThereisthisthingIdotoJameson
thatmakeshimextra,extrahorn—”
“Okay,loveyou.Haveagreatnight.”
LeavingLucy’sroomasquietlyaspossible,
IlaydownonmybedandwatchedtheceilingforhoursbeforeIfinallyfell
asleepwithasmallsmileetchedonmyface.
The
mysterybeautyisnotamysteryanymore!
Ahhh,sorryladies,lookslikeourveryownsexgod
JasonThornisoutofthesexpoolfornow.
Yourememberthemysterybeautyhewascaught
withrecently?Sheisnotamysteryanymore.We’velearnedthatthestrawberry
blondeisOliveTaylor,achildhoodfriendofJasonwhoisalsotheauthorof
thenewNewYorkTimesBestSellerthatisbeingadaptedforthesilverscreen.
Canyouguesswhotheleadingactoris?Youguessedright!JasonThornwillbe
takingontheroleofIsaac,atroubledactorwhoreconnectswithhisfirstand
onlylovewhoheleftbehindyearsbefore.DoyouthinkMissTaylorwrotethe
booktogetheroldfriend’sattention?Ifso,itdefinitelyseemstobe
workingforher.Afterclaimingthenumberonespotoneverybestsellerlist,
isshelayingclaimtoourbadboy,too?
Thecouple,whohavebeenthetalkofthetown
thislastweek,werespottedattheexclusivehotspot,SohoHouse.Accordingto
oursource,thepairhadalovelydinnertogetherinthemaindiningarea.“They
weretalkingtoeachotherwiththeireyes,andtheywereabsolutelybeaming
withhappiness.Theyweredefinitelyonadate,”thesourceadds.“Thereisno
waytheyarejustfriends.Theirinteractionwasintense.”
ThehunkystarleftMissTaylor’ssideonly
once,andthatwastogreetagroupofbusinessassociateswhowerehaving
dinnerjustafewtablesawayfromthem.Theromanticoutingendedearlywhen
Jasondecidedhecouldn’twaittofinishhisdinner,grabbedthebestselling
authorbyherhand,andranfortheexit.
“ItwasthemostromanticthingI’veeverseen
inmylife.Oneminutetheyweresmilingateachother,sippingtheir
cocktails,thenextminutetheywerehandinhandrunningfortheexit,”
anotheronlookersaid.
YouthinkJasonisinlovewithhischildhood
friend?Thepeoplewhowatchedtheireverymoveonthehotdateseemtothink
so.
Doyouthinkhe’llkeepher?Willshebethepop
tohissexycorn?
ChapterEighteenJason
“Thedamnbastardsarequick,”Isaidafter
readingthearticletheyhadonus.Iputthetabletonthetable,nexttomy
emptylunchplate.“Thethingis,Ihavenoideawhotheseonlookersarewhowatched
yesterday.Thewaytheyaredescribingthings…theonlytruethingonthereis
thatIonlylefthersideonce.Therestiscompletebullshit.Webarelysaida
wordtoeachothertheentiremeal.”IshookmyheadandreachedfortheFrench
friesonTom’splate
“Thewaytheyaretellingthestoryworks
foryousoI’dsaystopcomplaining.”
Lickingthesaltonmythumb,Ikept
silent.IhadmadeafoolofmyselfinfrontofOlivethenightbefore.I’d
thoughtIwouldbreachthesubjectwhilewewerehavingdinner,butforsome
reasonitseemedwrongtoaskOlivetomarrymeasifwewereoutonabusiness
meeting.IntheendI’dstillfuckeditallup,butatleastwe’dbeenalone
whenithappened.Itwasn’tlikeitwouldhavemadeadifferenceifI’dgotten
downononekneeandaskedhertomarrymetosavemycareer.Therewasnogood
waytoasksomeonetomarryyousotheycouldhelpyougetoutofthegraveyou’d
dugyourselfinto.
Speakingofthat,Istillhadn’theardback
fromOlive.
“Shehasn’tansweredyet.Don’tgettoo
excited.”
“It’llbeahugeboosttoherwriting
career.She’dbeafoolnottosayyes.It’llchangeherlifemorethanit’ll
changeyours,”Tominterjected.
“Sheisnotlikeallthesewomenyouknow,”
Isaid,gesturingaroundthecafé.
“Allthesewomen?”
“Youknow,thewomeninthisindustry,or
themodelsyouseemtoenjoyeverynowandthen.”
Heraisedhiseyebrows.“AndcanIaskwhat
makeshersodifferent?”
Ishrugged.“SheisOlive.Iknowher.If
sheaccepts—andthatisabigif—it’llmostlikelybebecauseshewantstohelp
me.Ithinksheisalsohalfinlovewithmyhouse,sothat’sdefinitelyaplus
onmyside.”
Tomsnickeredandshookhishead.“You’rea
blindsonofabitch.”
Frowning,Iasked,“Whatthehellisthat
supposedtomean?”
Hesighedandheldhishandup.“Nothing.
Don’tgetallworkeduponme,butIhavetosay,you’realsoaluckysonofa
bitch.”
“I’llaskagain,whatdoyoumean?”
“ImeanyourOliveisnotexactly
hardontheeyes,isshe?Evenwhenyouarescrewedyouluckout.”
“Yeah.”Iclearedmythroat.“Sheis
beautiful.”Andshewasallgrownup,too,whichwasadangerouscombination
forme.
“SofartheonlythingMeganhasleakedto
themediaisthatyouwerechildhoodfriendsandyou’replayinginthemovie
adaptationofherbook.Everyoneisrunningwiththeirownversionofthe
story.IfOlivesaysyes,you’llhavetobeseentogetherafewmoretimesand
startplayingthehappycoupleinfrontofthecameras.Thenwe’llleakthenews
ofthemarriageafterit’salldone.”
“Areyoumypublicistormyagent?”
“Iseemtobedoingeverythingforyour
sorryassthesedays.”
“Yeah,wellhopefullytheywon’tbetalking
aboutmeformuchlonger.I’mtiredofreadingmynameandseeingmyfacein
thetabloids.”
Ourwaitercamebyandpickedupourempty
plates.
“IsthereanythingelseIcangetyou?”
“I’mgood,thankyou.”IlookedatTom.
“You?”
“I’llhaveanespresso,”Tomsaid.
“WereyouabletogetintouchwithJackson
Merritt?”IaskedwhenTomwassippinghisespresso.
“Youknowyoulostanothercontractafter
theinterviewwiththeCanadiangirl.Yournextyeariswideopenrightnow.Maybe
weshouldconsidertheoffersyou’recurrentlygettinginsteadofgoingafter
thedirectorsandmoviesyouwanttobeapartof.Theyarenotbadoffers.”
“NothinghappenedwiththedamnCanadian
girl.HowmanytimesdoIhavetorepeatmyself?”Igrowled,gettingthe
attentionofpeopleclosetoourtable.
“Keepitdown.”
“IworkedhardtogetwhereIam,Tom,”I
said,loweringmyvoice.“JustbecauseImessedupinmypersonallifedoesn’t
meanI’lllaydownandleteveryonepullmetopieces.I’mdamngoodatmyjob.
I’mgettingmarriedandkeepingalowprofile,aren’tI?Ifit’snotgoingto
helpmysituation,whyamIdoingit?”Ireclinedinmyseatandlookedright
intoTom’seyes.“Sincemyscheduleisopen,IwanttobeinJackson’smovie.
Justafewmonthsback,theywereaftermefortheleadroleandwehadto
declinebecauseitwasclashingwithmyschedule.Nowit’snot.Iwantthat
part.Makeithappen.”
“Easythere,”hesaid,pushingbackhis
espressoasheleanedtowardme.“Westillhavetimebeforewegoafteritwith
allwehave.Let’sjustseehoweverythingsettlesdowninamonthortwo.If
theydon’tcomeontheirown,thenwe’llgoafterthem.Youusedtotrustme,
Jason.That’swhyweworkwelltogether.Iwon’tcometoyouwitharolethat
won’ttakeyouastepaheadofalltheothers,butyouhavetoletmedomy
job.”Hiseyeshardenedonme.“Wecan’tletothersseehowallthiscrapis
affectingyourcareerandyou.Justkeepitinyourpants,getOlivetomarry
you,andwe’llgetyoubackontrack.”
Tiredofmyowndamnlife,Irubbedmy
foreheadanddecidedtolistentoTom.
Myeyesfelltomyphonewhenitstarted
vibratingonthetable,Olive’snameflashingacrossthescreen.
“It’sOlive,”ImutteredtoTom,myeyesbriefly
meetinghis.
“O-kay.Whyareyounotanswering?”
“What?”Ilookedupathimwithafrownon
myface.
“Thephone.Aren’tyougonnaanswerit?”
“Iwill,”Ireplied,butmadenomoveto
answerit.Instead,IpickedupthephoneandglancedatTomagain.“What’s
happeningrightnow?”
HelookedjustasconfusedasIfelt.“You
tellme,buddy.”
Ithoughtaboutitforasecondortwo,
thenlaughed.“Fuckme,butIthinkI’mactuallyafraidtohearhersayno.I’m
notsureI’llgothroughwiththisgeniusmarriageplanofMegan’sandyoursif
Oliveisn’tin.”
Thephonestoppedvibratinginmyhand.
WhenTomlaughed,itwasabig,‘hey
people,lookatme,I’mhavingthetimeofmylife’laugh.Thebastard!
“Youlikeher,don’tyou?Youactuallylike,
likeher.”
Hewasstartingtogetonmynerves.“Of
courseIlikeher.She’salwaysbeenimportanttome.”
Heliftedbothhishandsup,hislaugh
dyingdowntoachuckle.“Ishould’veknown…Youdidn’tevenputupafight
whenhernamecameup,notlikeyoudidwithallthoseothergirls.Yousonof
abitch.Oh,thisisgoingtobefuntowatch.”
“Shutup,”Isnarledathim.
Risingfrommyseat,Iwalkedawayfromour
tableanddialedOlive’snumberwhenIwasstandinginthelittlegardenthatserved
asthecafé’sbackyardforsmokers.
“Jason!”sheansweredinaterrifiedvoice.
Myentirebodylocked.“What’swrong?”
“Jason,I…I’mstuckhere.Therearepeople
outsidethecafé.”
“Calmdown,Olive.Whatdoyoumeanthereare
peopleoutside?”
“Imeantherearetenormaybemorepeople
campedrightoutsideofthecafé.I’mmortified,Jason.”
“Okay,sweetheart.Takeadeepbreath,and
startfromthebeginning.”
ShedidasIsaid,tookadeepbreath,and
seemedtocalmatleastabit.“Okay,sorry.I’matacafécalledDreamers,
it’snearcampus.IwassupposedtomeetwithLucyandCharforlunchbetween
theirclasses,soIbroughtmylaptopandcamehereearly,hopingtogetina
fewwordswhileIwaswaiting.I’msorryI’mrambling.”
“It’sokay.Tellmewhoiswaiting
outside.”
“Well,LucyandCharcouldn’tmakeit,soI
decidedtoheadbackhomesinceIcouldn’tgetintomystory,butthepaparazzi
ishere,Jason.Ididn’tevennoticethembeforeIwalkedoutside,butoneof
themyelledmynameandstartedsnappingpicturesandaskingquestions.I’m
backinthecaférightnow,buttheyarestilloutthere.”
“Fuck,”Imuttered,turningtoheadbackto
thetable.“Didyouseethenewsaboutus?”
“Ifyoumeanthestorieswherethey
describewhatweatelastnight,thenyes,Lucyshovedtheminmyfacethis
morning.Whatdoesthathavetodowiththis?”
“Givemeasecond,”IsaidtoOliveonceI
reachedTom.ThenItoldTom,“Ineedtoleave.Papsarecampedoutsidethe
cafésheisin,andshecan’tleave.”
“Doyouneedme?”Tomasked,hisbusiness
facebackon.
“No,I’llhandleit.I’llcallyoulater,
okay?”
“Fine,”henodded.“Butdon’tforgetto
callMeganafteryouhaveyouranswerfromOlive.Shehastohandleallthis
andstartspinning.”
Igrunted,grabbedmycarkey,andleftthe
caféasquicklyaspossible.
“I’monmyway,Olive.”
“Thankyou.HowdidtheyevenknowIwashere?”
“Someonemust’verecognizedyouandtipped
themoff.ThereisalreadyahashtagonTwittergoingonforus.”
“Perfect.”Shesighed.“Idon’thaveacar,
Jason.Iwalkeddownhere.It’saten-minutewalk,butIcan’tjustwalkwith
themtrailingme.”
“No.Youstayput,I’mcomingtogetyou.
I’msorryOlive,Ishould’veknownthiswouldhappen.Textmeyourexact
address.Now.”
Endingthecall,Igotintomycarandfloored
it.
***
Ienteredthecaféinabigcommotion.
Olivewaswrong.TherewereatleasttwentypapswaitingoutsideandIknew
morethananyonehowrelentlesstheywere.Whentheysawmecominginforthe
save,theyknewtheyhadstruckgold.
Lookingaroundtheinteriorofthecafé,it
onlytookmeafewsecondstospotOlivealmostcoweringbehindherlaptopin
thecorner.
Irushedtoherside.
Shenoticedmeandjumpeduptoherfeet,
herfaceaswhiteasasheet.“Thankyouforcomingsoquick,”shesaidina
lowvoice,hereyesdartingaround.
“Areyouokay?”Myhandsactingontheir
own,Icuppedherfaceandgazedintoherdazedeyes.
Herhandslandedontopofmineforabrief
momentasifshewantedtoassureherselfthatIwastherewithher.Thenjust
asquickly,shedroppedthemdown.“I’mfine.Ijustdidn’tknowwhattodo,
whattosaytothem.Theywereallyellingatonce,andtheownerofthecafé
isn’thappyaboutthis.”Shediscreetlymotionedtoherrightwithherhead.
“Theyalreadyaskedmetoleaveonce.”
MyeyesdartedaroundandIsawastern
womanstandingbehindthecounter,staringatus.
IturnedbacktoOlive.“We’llleaveina
minute.Mycarisparkedjustaroundthecorner.”
“Jason,Ilooklikecrap.”Shelookeddown
atherselfandtouchedherhair,whichwasinamessybunontopofherhead.
Tomeshelookedjustasbeautifulasshehadthenightbefore.“Ijustcame
heretohavelunchwiththegirls.Callmevain,butIdon’twanttoseemyself
plasteredeverywherelikethis.”Shegesturedtome,andadded,“Especially
nexttoyou,notwhenyoulooklikethat.”
“JasonThorn?AreyoureallyJasonThorn?”
someoneasked.Iturnedaroundtoseewhowastalkingtome.
“Oh,youare.Youreallyare.CanItakea
selfiewithyou?Ijusthavetoshowthistomyfriends,theywillnever
believemeifIdon’thaveproof.”
Iforcedasmileonmyfaceandnodded.“Of
course.”
Ineverturneddownafanwhowasasking
foranautographorapicture.Itwasn’tmything,butatthatmoment,Iwished
itwas.Itookthedamnselfiewithherfaceinchesawayfrommineasshe
huggedmeasifwe’dknowneachothernotmerelyforsecondsbutformonths.
Assoonassheleft,fiveotherpeople
foundthecouragetoapproachmeandaskedforautographsandpictures.
WhenIturnedback,Olivehadsatdownand
waslookingdownatherclosedlaptop.Iknewweneededtohaveaquicktalk
beforemorepeopleswarmedus.Atthisrate,wewereboundtohavetrouble
leavingtheplaceifeveryonestartedpostingthatIwashere.
ItookOlive’shandinmineandpulledher
up.
“Whereisthebathroominthisplace?”I
askedasIgrabbedherlaptopwithmyfreehand.
“There,”shepointedtoanarrowhallwayin
theback.
Idraggedherbehindmeandmadesureto
lockthedoortothetinybathroomoncewewereinside.
“Ifwestaylonger,morepeoplewillhear
thatI’mhereandwe’llhavearealproblemonourhands.Weneedtoleave
rightnow.”
Shenodded.
“Butbeforewegooutthere,Ihavetoask
you…I’msorry,Idon’twanttopressureyou,Olive,butIneedtoknowsoI
caneither—”
“Yes,”sheinterruptedmeinarushedbut
cleartone.“Ifyouaretalkingaboutthe…thingyouaskedyesterday.It’syes.”
Myheartsighed.Smilingather,Irelaxed.
HerhandwasstillinminesoIsqueezedit.“Yes?”
Shenibbledonherbottomlipandmy
attentionshiftedfromherbrighteyestoherfullpinklips.“Yes,”she
repeatedalittlesofter.
Iclearedmythroatandforcedmygazeaway
fromthedangerthatwasherinvitinglips.“Sowearedoingthis?”
Shesmiledandnodded.“Ithinkweare.”
Myeyesstillonher,Ireachedback,unlocked
thedoor,andwasabouttostepoutwhenshepulledmeback.“Wait,givemethe
laptop.”Ihadcompletelyforgottenaboutit.Ihandeditovertoherandshe
pusheditintoherhugehandbag.Iwentforherhandagain,butshedrewback.
“Justwait.”
Weweregonnagetstuckinthedamnbathroom.
Reachingup,shetookasmallclipoutof
herhairanditallcametumblingdownaroundherface.Pushingherfingers
throughit,shegaveitafewgoodshakes,andthenlookedupatmewitha
prettyflushonherface.
Igroaned.Damnit,nowallIcouldthink
washowitwouldfeeltohavehervibranthairwrappedaroundmyhand.Damnit
allagain—nowwithhersexybedhair,shelookedlikeshehadjustbeenfucked.
Byme.Whichwastheexactexclusionthepaparazziwouldcometo.
“Youshouldn’thavedonethat,littleone.”
Sheglancedatthemirror.“DoIlook
worse?ThisisallIgot.I’msorry.”
“Allyougotwouldprobablykillme,soI’d
saythisismorethanenough.Comeon,weneedtoleave.”
Thistimeshewastheonereachingformy
hand.
“Wearenotsayingoneword.Don’tlook
directlyintothecameras,justfollowmyleadandwe’llletmypublicist
handletherest.”
Shenoddedandwesteppedoutofthe
bathroom.Therewereafewpeoplewaitingforustogetout,butforthefirst
timeinmycareer,Iapologizedandturnedallofthemdown.
ThemomentIsteppedoutofthecaféwith
Oliveclingingtomyhand,thepaparazziwerereadyforroundtwo.Everysingle
oneofthemwereshoutingrandomquestionsatus,snappingpicturesnonstop.
Olivewaslookingatthegroundandher
stepswerehurried,butIstillhadtoslowdownalittlesoshecouldkeepup
withmylongstrides.Suddenlysheliftedhergazeandoureyesmet.Weboth
smiledateachother.BeforeIcouldenjoythemomentmyself,everypaparound
ussawthequickexchangebetweenusandwentintoafrenzy,yellingournames
louder.
Eventhoughthepaparazziwereinourway,
wefinallymadeittomySpyderinonepieceandIopenedthepassengerside
doortohelpOlivein.
AsIfinallydroveawayfromthemadness,I
knewexactlywhichshottheywouldusethenextday.
ChapterNineteenJason
“Thatwassomething,”Olivesaidaftera
fewminutesofsilencehadpassed
Iglancedatheroutofthecornerofmy
eyetomakesureshewasactuallyokay.“Welcometomyworld.Youokay?”
Sheliftedherarmsinfrontofher.“A
littlebitontheshakierside,butstillinonepiece.You?”
“Theyrarelygettomeanymore.Youget
usedtowalkingdownastreetwithcamerasflashingallaroundyou.”
“Comeswiththejob,Iguess.”
Unfortunately,itdid.Mostofthetime,Icould
getawaywithwearingsunglassesandabaseballhatandsimplyblendin,butit
didn’tworkeverysingletime.“Ithinkweshouldheadstraighttomypublicist’s
office.Weneedtoplanhowwe’regoingtohandlethis.”
“Now?”
“Yeah.Runningawaywon’twork.Wecan’tbe
trappedinacafélikethisasecondtime.Theywon’tjusttrailme;they’ll
focusonyou.Themorewestaysilent,theharderit’llbetoshakethemoff.”
“I’msorry,Ishould’vehandleditbetter,”
shesaidinsmallvoice.
Takingaleftturn,Ikeptmyeyesonthe
roadbutreachedouttograspherhand.Iwasstartingtodothatalotlately.
Holdingherhand.Keepingherclose.Breathing
herin.Touchingher.Lookingatherass.Andmoreimportantly,fuckingseeing
her.
“Ifanythinglikethiseverhappensagain
whenI’mnotaround,Iwantyoutocallmeimmediately.IfIcan’tcomemyself,
I’llsendsomeonewhocanhelpyou.Ifwe’regoingtodothis,Ineedtoknow
youfeelcomfortable.Idon’twantyoutobescaredtogooutbecauseofme.”
“It’sokay,Jason.”Shecoveredmyhand
withhersmallone.“IfyoutellthemwhoIam,orthatwe’retogether,I’m
surethey’lleventuallybackoff.”
Isighed.“Idon’tthinkso.Thatwill
probablytakesometime.Thisistoojuicyforthemtoignore.”
Whenshepulledherhandaway,Ihadto
pullaway,too.
Ihandedhermyphoneandaskedhertodial
Alvin’snumber.
“Iseverythingokay,boss?Tomjustcalled
meandsaidyoumightneedhelp.”
“It’sokay,Alvin.Wehandledit.Canyoufind
outwhereMeganis?Ifsheisattheoffice,Iwanttogostraighttoher.
Oliveiswithme,andIthinkweneedtositdownandhaveatalk.”
“GivemeafewminutesandI’llgetbackto
you.”
WhenAlvincalledback,Iwashalfwayto
Megan’soffice.
“Sheisnotattheoffice,boss.Sheis
wrappingupalunchmeetingatChateauMarmont.”
“Finethenwe’reheadingthere.”
“Isuggestedthesamething,butshesaid
you’dneedtohaveaprivateconversation.Shesaidtotellyoushe’llbeback
atherofficeinfifteenandtomeetherthere.Doyouwantmetogetbackto
her?”
“Noit’sfine.I’mminutesaway,we’llwait
forher.”
Whenwemadeit,herassistantwasalready
waitingforusandledusintoMegan’soffice.
“IknowIdidn’task,butIhopeyouhavetime
forthis,”IsaidtoOliveoncewewerealone.
“Themeeting?Yes,ofcourse.IknowIhave
tosignthings.”Shegavemeaquestioninglook.“Atleast,I’massumingIdo.”
“Youdon’thavetosignanythingyoudon’t
wanttoOlive.Itrustyou.”
WewereinterruptedwhenMegan’sassistant
camebacktoletusknowMeganwasafewminutesawayandtoaskifwewanted
anythingtodrink.
Webothdeclined.
“Whatisshegoingtotalktousabout?”
Oliveaskedoncetheassistantleft.
“Aren’tyougoingtosit?”
Shelookedaroundasifshewasonlythen
seeingthebigsectionalonthefarleftsideoftheofficeandthesetof
armchairsinfrontofMegan’sdesk.
“I’mgood,”shesaidafteramoment.
Iwalkeduptoherandheldherbyher
shoulders.“Shewon’tleakanythingwedon’twanthertoleak.Forthat,she
needstotalktobothofus.Basically,wehavetocomeupwithagameplanfor
themarriagething.Thatis,ifyouareabsolutelysure,Olive.”
Rubbingherpalmsupanddownherthighs,
shenoddedandlookedatme.“Iam.Likeyousaid,ifnothingelse,it’llbe
fun.”
Iletmyhandswanderdownfromherarms
andlinkedourhandstogether.
“It’llmostdefinitelybefun,”Imurmured,
herbeautifuleyespullingmein.
“ThatisexactlyhowIwantpeopletoseeyou,”
Megansaidasshebargedin
Olivegaveaslightjerk.Isighedand
lookedattheceiling.
“Hellotoyou,too,Megan.”Droppingoneof
Olive’shands,Iturnedustofacemydearpublicist.“Olive,thisisMegan,a
beautifulpaininmyass.”
Megan’ssmilewassortofsavage,butshe
stillreachedoutandpattedmycheek.“Youwouldbelostwithoutme.”
“Ifyousayso,”Imutteredandgave
Olive’shandasqueeze.
ShewasalreadysmilingatMeganandIwas
havingahardtimelookingawayfromherlips.Shegavemyhandatug,butI
didn’tseewhyIshouldhavetoletitgosoIheldon.Whensheturnedthose
greeneyesonmewithasmallfrown,Ihadtoforcemyhandtolethersgo.
Immediately,sheextendedherhandtoMeganandtheyshookhands,exchanginga
fewpleasantries.
“Okay,let’ssitdownandhaveachat,”
Megansaidasshetookherseatbehindherdesk.
Olivechosetositontheedgeofherseat,
herbodygivingoffallkindsofstresssignals:jumpylegs,coldhands,lip
biting…
Lipbitingcouldbefun,though.Icould
makelipbitingintoafunactivityforher.
“Iassumeyou’vecometoanagreement,”
Meganinterruptedmythoughts—andgoodthingshedid.
“Yes,”Oliveagreedandturnedhereyeson
me,waitingforananswer.
Ismiledatherandstoleasmalloneright
backfromher.
“Youshouldsavethegooglyeyesforthe
press.Youdon’thavetoactaroundme,too.”
Icould’vekilledMeganrightthen.Olive’s
startledgazeflewawayfromme,andIcouldhardlygethertolookatmefor
morethanafewsecondsfortherestofthemeeting,whichwasn’tanything
excitingatall.
“Firstandforemostweneedtoapplyforaconfidential
marriagelicenseandgetthatoutoftheway.Wedon’twantthemtofindout
aboutitontheirown.”
“Isn’tthemfindingoutaboutthemarriage
thewholepurposeofthisthing?”Oliveasked.
“Itis,”Meganagreed.“Butwewantthemto
learnaboutitwhenwearereadyforthemtolearnaboutit.”Meganturnedher
gazetome.“IneedyoutobuyOlivearing.Doitbeforeyouleave.Wewant
hertobeseenwearingit.”
“We’llgoandchoosesomethingtogether?”I
offeredtoOlive.
Beforeshecouldanswer,Meganjumpedin.
“No.Wedon’twantanyonetotalkaboutthis.Youknowwhat,forgetwhatIsaid.
They’llprobablybetrailingyou,andwedon’twanttogivethemthattidbit
yet.TalktoAlvin,he’llhandleeverything.”
Seeminglysatisfiedwithherownplan,she
noddedtoherselfandgaveusmoredetailsonwhenweshouldbeseenandhowwe
shouldactoutinpublic.
“I’llprintyououtalistbeforeyou
leave.Iwantyoutobephotographedalmosteverydayatanyofthoseplaces
untilyouleaveforLondon.”
“Whenisheleaving?”OliveaskedMegan.
“I’mrighthereyouknow,youcanlookat
me,too,”Isuggestedlazily.
Hercheeksheldanappealingblushwhenshe
finallylookedatme.“Sorry.”
Igaveheralonglook.“I’mheadingto
Londonnextweek.It’sonlyforafewdays.”
“Andyouaregoingwithhim,”Meganadded,
lookingatOlive.
“Iam?”shesqueaked.
“Yes.Andyou’llstartwearingyourringat
theLondonpremiere.Ifyougetquestionsyoucananswerthemaslongasyou
keeptheanswersshort—butdon’ttalkaboutgettingmarried—andchangethe
subjectbacktopromotingthemovie.Youtwobeingtheretogetherwillbegood
PRforthemovie,too.Otherthanthat,Idon’twantyoutotalktothepress
aboutOlivebeforeyouleave.Whenyouarebeingphotographedhereinthecity,
justbeyourselves,smileforthecameras…Idon’tknow,maybeholdhands,but
keepitmild.Wewanteveryonetobetalkingaboutyou,andsofarnooneis
sureifyouaretogetherornot.SeeingyoutwoattheLondonpremierewitha
ringonherfingerwillbeananswerenoughonitsown.”
“Don’tIhavetosignanything?”Oliveasked
whenMeganwasdonewithherinstructions.
Meganglancedatmewithaquirkedeyebrow.
Istaredback.
“Jason’slawyerswillhandlethatpart,”
sheansweredeventually.KeepingherstareonOlive,sheleanedforward.“It’ll
beinthecontract,butyoucan’ttalkaboutthistoanyone.Notyourparents,
notyourfriends.Don’tevenrepeatittoyourselfafterthispoint.Ifitgets
outthatthiswasarranged,itwillundoeverythingwearetryingtodo.”
“Well,”Olivemuttered,wincingslightly.
Megan’svoicewasharsh—harsherthanI
wouldallowhertousewhenspeakingtoOlive—whensheasked,“Whodidyou
tell?”
“Megan,”Isaidinlowvoice,silencing
her.
“ImentionedittoLucy,butIswearshe
won’ttellasoul,Jason,”Oliverushedtosay,hereyesfocusedsomewhereover
myshoulder.
Iduckedalittleandcaughthereyes.
“It’sokay,littleone.Itrustyou,andifyoutrusther…”Ishrugged.“It’s
done,Megan.Somoveon.”
BythetimeweleftMegan’sofficeaftergoing
overafewmoredetailsofhowweshouldactinpublic,bothOliveandIwere
prettymuchbraindead.
“Wow…”Olivebreathedoutoncewewere
sittinginthecarandjuststaringoutthewindshield.Ididn’tevenattempt
tostartthecar.“WhoknewIhadtobecarefulaboutsomanythings.Imean,
comeon,wasshereallyseriousaboutmelookingalittletoolongatanyother
actors?Orthepart—whichwasmyfavoritepart,bytheway—whereshesaidI’d
havetodiscourageyouifyouwantedtohaveaquickieinLondon?”
“I’mafraidshewasverymuchserious.
Also,myfavoritepartwasaboutyoulookingatme—ohsorry,notlooking”—I
watchedheroutofthecornerofmyeyeasIcontinued—“gazingatme
adoringlyinthephotos.Youthinkyoucanlookatmeadoringly,little
one?Iwouldn’tmindworkingonit.”
“Howthoughtfulofyoumy
soon-to-be-hubby.”
“Ah,”Igroanedandclosedmyeyes.“Call
meanythingbuthubby.Forsomereason,Ihatethatword.Hubby,hubster…”I
shookmyhead.“Justno.Callmehusband,”IsaidinahuskyvoicebeforeI
noticedwhatIwassaying.
Shechuckled.“Fine,I’llfindanotherpet
name.Howaboutmyyyy…Well,lookslikeIlostafewbraincellsinthere,
can’tthinkofanythingrightnow.I’llcomeupwithsomething,don’tworry.”
Ismiledtomyself.“Can’twaittohearit,
sweetheart.”ThatwasdefinitelysomethingIwouldlookforwardtoo.
“Areyoureadytobackoutyet?”Iasked
mildlyaswesilentlywatchedafewguyspointandwhistleatmySpyderasthey
walkedpast.
Shetwistedinherseattofaceme.“Isaid
yes,Jason.Iwanttohelp;Iwon’tbackout.Butifyouchangeyourmind…”
“No,”Irepliedafterabriefpause,and
thenIletmyheaddropbackontheheadrest.“You’restilltheonlygirlI
wanttogetfakemarriedto.”
Shegaveashort,amusedlaughandrested
hertempleagainsttheheadrest.“Yay?”
Iturnedmyheadtofindherstudyingme.A
secondlater,Iwastuggingherhair,stealinganothersinceresmilefromher.
“Inafewweeks,it’llalldiedown,don’t
worry,”Ireassuredher.“Anditwon’tbeallbad,Ipromise.”
“I’mnotworried.Notexactly.Imean,it’s
probablyeverygirl’swishtogetmarriedtoyouthesedays.Fakeornot,it’ll
be…something.So,no,I’mnotworried.ButIthinkyoushouldbe.”
“Why?”
“Well,ifwecan’ttellanyoneaboutthis,”
sheshrugged,herlipskickingupatthecorners.“I’mnotgoingtobetheone
whotellsmyparentsIgotmarriedsohastily.IfIhavetolie,sodoyou.”
Nowitwasmyturntowince.“IthinkIcan
charmyourmomanddad,butDylan…Yeah,I’mnotlookingforwardtothattalk.”
Closinghereyes,shefacedforwardagain.
“So,wearegettingmarriedrightafterwegetbackfromLondon.It’sgoingto
beaquickthingatyourhome.Nofriends,nonothing.Thatnight,Imovein
withyou,andwhenthefilmingstartsforSoulAche,I’mtoaccompany
youtothemoviesetforthefirstfewdayssotheycangetmorecandidshots
ofusandessentiallystartpromotingthemovierightwhenthefilmingstarts.”
“Thatprettymuchsumsitup,”Imuttered,
rubbingmyeyes.
“You’renotIsaacandI’m…notEvie,they
getthatthough,right?”sheaskedalittlehesitantlywhenIstartedthecar.
“Intheireyes,wewillbewhoeverthey
wantustobe,littleone.”
ChapterTwentyJason
Doyouknowwhathappensafteryoustartacting
likeyou’reinlovewithagirl?Or,hell,forgetaboutbeinginlove,doyou
knowwhathappenswhenyouactlikeyou’redatingeachother?Fallingforeach
other?No?
Letmetellyouwhathappens:youstartto
getlostinyourownfuckinggame.Youbegintothinkyou’reactually
datingeachother.Whatthefuckareyousupposedtothinkwhenyou’reholding
hands,lookingintoeachother’seyes,laughing,andjustfuckingenjoyingyour
life?
Only,itisaspecialkindofhellwhere
youcan’treapthebenefitsofdatingasyouwouldifyouwereactuallyfucking
dating.
ThedaysafterourmeetingwithMeganpassed
inaflurryofactivity.AsmuchasIhatedseeingmyselfoneverymediaoutlet
outthere,Icouldn’tdenythefactthatIdidn’tminditthatmuchwhenOlive
wasinthesameshotwithme.Afterlookingatsomanydamnphotosofthetwo
ofustogether,laughing,smiling,andholdinghands—alwaysholdinghands—Icould
seewhatTomandMeganhadinitiallyseen.
Welookedgoodtogether.
Happy.
IwasafraidIwasstartingtobelievein
theliewehadsometiculouslycreated.IwasstartingtobelievethatOlive
belongedwithmeandonlyme.
Latenightmoviedate?
Check
Shoppingatthefarmers’market?
Check
Coffeedate?
Check
Lunchdate?
Check
Dinnerdate?
Check
WewerefollowingMegan’sinstructionstoa
T,andaswewentthroughherlistonebyone,wehadawholecrewofpaparazzi
followinguseverywhere—andwhenIsayeverywhere,Imeaneverywhere.They
allseemedtohaveforgottenaboutmysexcapadesandchosetofocusonournew
loveinstead.Judgingbyallthearticlesandvideoseveryonekeptposting,
peoplewerelovingit.EveryonewhoreadOlive’sbook—whichwasalargenumber
ofpeople—wererootingforOlivetowinmyheart.Theyalllikedtheideaoftheir
troubledmoviestarfallingforanordinary,girl-next-doortype.
Whattheydidn’tknowwasthatOlivewasnothing
shortofextraordinary.
***
AfteralongflighttoLondon,wefinally
madeittoourhotelroom.“Isthisourroom?OrshouldIsaypalace?”Olive
askedafterturninginacircleandtakingeverythingin.
“Highceilings,bigwindows,twofreaking
balconies.”
Ichuckled.“Itakeityouapprove.”
“Idefinitelyapprove.I’mveryhappythat
you’repickingupthebill,though.”
Keepingmyeyesupandawayfromherass,I
trailedafterherandlistenedtohercommentsabouteveryroominthesuite.
“Jason!”shegaspedonceshereachedthemain
bathroom.ShelookedoverhershouldertomakesureIwasfollowingher.Notso
fortunatelyforme,shehaditall,especiallywhenshebentforwardtocheck
outthe…the…Icouldn’tevenseewhatshewastryingtolookat.Hershirtrode
upandallIcouldseewasthatdamnassofhers.
“Jason,didyouseethis?”
Shehadrightedherselfandwaslookingat
me,hergreeneyessparkling.Iknewshewasexcitedabouteverylittlething
becauseeventheplanefoodhadmadeherhappy.
“Everythingisallcompartmentalized,
it’ssocute.Isn’titcute?Andtheykeepgivingusfreechampagne,and
snacks,andDanishpastries.I’mliterallyinheavenrightnow.”
Ididn’tseeanyofit;allIcouldfeel
washergettingundermydamnskin
Aftershehadeatentwoofmypastrieson
topofherown,shehadfallenasleepallsnuggledupagainstme.
Ihadn’tmovedaninchtherestofthe
flight.
“Yes?”Iasked,focusingonherfaceagain.
“Thereisavintageclawfoottubinhere.”
Hervoiceechoedinthetiledbathroom.
“Great,”Imuttered,quicklyturningaway
fromherbeforeIlostmydamnmind.ThethingsIcoulddotoherinthat
tub…Ididn’tneedavisualofherstandingnexttoit.
Afewminuteslatershefoundmeinmy
room.“Thereareonlytwobedroomshere,”shecommentedfromthedoorway.
Iliftedmybrowandstaredather.“Two
isn’tenough?Howmanydidyouexpecttofind?”
“No,it’snotthat.It’ssobig,Ijust
assumeditwouldbemorethantwo.Thereisadiningroomsoifwewantto
inviteournon-existentfriendsoverfordinner,thatwillbeusefulIguess.
Anyway,you’retakingthisroom?”sheaskedassheenteredtheroomandsaton
thebed.“Theotherbedroomisbigger;whydon’tyoutakethatone?I’dbemore
comfortableifyoutookthatone.”
Whenwe’dlandedattheairporttheskyhad
alreadybeendarkening,butIstillpartedtheblindssothecitylightswould
illuminatetheroomwithoutmehavingtoswitchthebrightlightson.
Iturnedaroundtomoveoutoftheroom,
butOlivewassprawledonthebed,lookingupattheceiling.
“Okay,giveittome.”Oh,howIwishI
could.“Whatisouritineraryfortonight?Isitsomethinglikethis?At8,
exitthehotel,makesuretogetphotographedhandinhandwithJasonThorn.At
8:30,entertherestaurant,handinhandwithJasonThorn.At9:30,exitthe
restaurant,laughingandclingingtoJasonThorn.”
Grinning,Isatdownnexttoherandlooked
atherupturnedface.“Ididn’tknowmyhandwascausingyousuchgrief.”
“Yourhand…Holdingyourhandisnogrief
atall.It’sjustweirdhowdetailedsheisonherlists,asifshehasto
mentionthatIneedtosmilewhenI’mlookingatyou.WhatdoesshethinkI’m
goingtodo?Slugyouinpublicorsomething?And,hell,maybeI’mhavinga
momentandIjustwanttolookatyouforasecond.”
Myfingersstoppedplayingwiththeendsof
hersofthair.MyvoicecameouthuskywhenIspoke.“Tellmemoreaboutthis
momentandI’lltrytoanswerasbestasIcan.”
Sheturnedtohersideandsquintedher
eyesatme.Beforeshecouldanswer,mydamnphonevibratedwithanewtext.
“It’sMegan.Wehaveacarwaitingtotake
ustodinner.Apparentlysheisjoiningus.”
Olivegroanedandcoveredhereyeswithher
arm.“Sheisgoingtogooverhergameplanfortomorrow.We’rescrewed.”
***
ThedinnerwasexactlywhatOlivehad
predicteditwouldbe:Megangivingeachofusdetailedinstructionsonwhatto
say,whatnottosay,etc.Towardtheend,shefocusedcompletelyonOliveand
explainedwhatwouldhappenatthepremierethenextday.WhenneitherOlive
norIcouldkeepoureyesopenanymore,sheagreedtoendthenightandweall
returnedtoourrooms.
Ieyedthealarmclockonmyleftsideand
noticedithadbeenonlyelevenminutessinceIhadleftOlivealoneonthe
balconyaftergivingheraquickkissonherforehead.Itwastheclosestwe
hadgottentoarealkisssofar,alwaysaforeheadkiss,orsometimesaneven
moreinnocentcheekkiss.I’dalreadydiscoveredthatIpreferredforehead
kissesoverthecheekkisses.ThewayshelookedatmeafterIgaveherone
alwaysundidsomethinginsideme,soItookwhatIcouldget.
Anotherminutepassed.Wasshestill
talkingtoherfriends?Itwasthefirstnightwe’dbesleepingunderthesame
roof,andIwashavingtroubleguidingmythoughtsawayfromthatfact.
Finally,Iheardadoorbeingclickedshut,
thensoftfootstepstookherfartherawayfrommyroomtoherownbedroom.Maybe
Ishould’vefoundasuitewithonlyonebedroom.
Itookadeepbreathandletitallout.
WhenIheardOlive’sear-piercingscream,I
wasoutofmybedandrunningforherinseconds.AssoonasIhittheliving
room,shecollidedwithmybarechest,knockingtheairoutofme.
“Whatisit?”Iaskedurgently,myheart
racinginmychest.Whenshekeptshakinginmyarms,tryingtocatchher
breath,Igrippedherelbowsandpushedherawayfrommybody.“What’swrong?”
Herchestrisingandfallingrapidly,she
metmyeyes.“Someoneisinmyroom.”Herbreathhitched.“Thecloset.”
Justasshefinishedherwords,Ihearda
softclattercomingfromherroom.Igrippedherarmtighter.“Gotomyroom.
Now.Callthehotelsecurity.”Shenoddedsharply,butdidn’tmove.“Go,
sweetheart.It’sgonnabeokay,”Isaid,softeningmytone.Sheranwithout
questioningmefurther.
WhenIenteredherroom,Icaughtthefaint
smellofOlive,thescentofherperfume:freshapplesandflowers.AsIwalked
fatherin,aheaviersmellcloudedtheoneIwasstartingtorecognizewhenever
Olivewasnear.
“Hotelsecurityisontheirway.Ifyou
don’twanttogetinmoretrouble,youshouldcomeoutofthere.”
Aslenderblondestrolledoutofthe
walk-inclosetatmywords.Shewaswearingablacklingeriesetthatleft
nothingtotheimagination.Imadesuretokeepmyeyesonherfaceandnotan
inchbelowthat.
Iballedmyfistsandtookadeepbreath.
“Howdidyougetin?”Iasked,tryingso
veryhardtokeeptheangerthatwasburninginsidemeoutofmyvoice.
WhatifOlivehadn’tnoticedthis
person’spresenceinherroomandthislunatichadmanagedtohurther?
Sheshruggedandofferedmeasmallsmile.
Itwasn’tthefirsttimesomefanorstalkerhadpaidahotelemployeetoget
intomyroom,buthavingOliveherewithme…
Itchangedthings.
Hereyesroamedmynakedchestandshe
foundthecouragetotakeasteptowardmeasshelickedherlips.Icrossedmy
armsovermychest.
“Iguessedyouwouldbringherherewith
you,butIwantedtogiveyouoptionstonight.I’mgameforathreesome,too,”
shesaid.
Iclenchedmyjawandhadtoforcemyselfto
notthrowheroutonherassonthespot.
“Jason?Iseverythingokay?”Olive’ssoftly
spokenwordscamefromrightoutsidetheroom.
“It’sokay,Olive.”Iraisedmyvoice.
“Openthedoorsosecuritycangetinhereasfastaspossible.”
Turningtothelunatic,Isawtheshocked
expressiononherface.“Perhapsyouwanttoputonyourclothesbeforemore
peopleseeyoulikethis.”
“But…butIloveyou,”shesaid,taking
anotherstepforward.“Please,givemeachance.Ireallyloveyou,Jason!I’ve
watchedeveryoneofyourmoviesahundredtimes!”
Igrittedmyteethandturnedawayfromher
towaitforsecurity.
“I’lldowhateveryouwant,Jason.Justgive
meonenight,please,”shebeggedinsteadofputtingclotheson.“Ionlywantone
chance.I’llletyoudoanythingyouwanttome.Idon’tevencareifyoufuck
meinfrontofabunchofpeople.Whatevergetsyouoff,I’mdownwithit.”
Hearingraisedvoicescomingfromoutside
theroom,Iwalkedoutwithoutglancingbackather.Iwasdoingmydamnedest
toignoreherwords.Shewasstillbeggingme,herpleasbecomingdesperate.
Theheadofthehotelsecurity,Daniel…something,whoIhadmetaswechecked
in,reachedmebeforeIcouldgettothem.
“What’stheproblem,sir?”
“Someonemanagedtogetintotheroomand
hideinthecloset.IsuggestyoutakeheroutofhereimmediatelyorI’llbe
pressingcharges.”
“That’simpossible.Oursecurity—”
Iheldupahand.“Idon’thavetimetogo
overthiswithyou.Sheobviouslyfoundherwayin.Getheroutofhere,right
now.”Hiseyeshardenedandbeforehecouldmovetowardtheroomwiththetwo
othermenthatwerestandingrightbehindhim,thegirlcamerunningoutside,still
inthesamegetup.
“Youtookhimfromme,”shecriedasshe
rantowardthedoor.WhileIwasthinkingshewasfinallygettingout,oneway
oranother,myeyescaughtsomethinginherclenchedfists:ataser.
ShewasrunningtowardOlive.
IgrowledOlive’sname,tryingtowarnher
asmyheartleapedtomythroat.BeforeIcouldreachOlivewhereshewas
standingnexttotheopendoorortakeoutthefuckinglunatic,oneofthe
securityguystackledthegirldownonthehardwoodfloorandrestrainedher
handsbehindherback,forcefullypryingtheweaponoutofherhands.
OnceIreachedOlive’sside,Iwasshaking
justasmuchasshewas,ifnotmore.Holdingherfaceinmyhands,Iforced
hertomeetmygaze.“Youokay?”
Hermouthopened,butnowordscameout.
Shegaveasmallnod.
Iburiedherfaceinmychestandwilledmy
hearttoslowdown.
Sheisokay.Sheisfine.
“Getherthefuckoutofhere,”I
growledwhenthesecurityguysseemedtobetakingtheirsweettimewiththe
wailinggirl.
IpulledOliveasfarawayfromthedooras
possible.Herskinwascoldundermytouch.
“Sir,doyouwantusto—”
“Getout,”Iroared,finallyfedup.Thankfully,
theyobeyed.
Beforethelastonecouldclosethedoor,
Meganpeeredinthroughthesmallopening.“Whatthehellisgoingonhere?
What’swithalltheyelling?”Shelookedoverhershoulder.“Didsomeonetryto
getin?”
LettinggoofOliveforasecond,Iwalked
towardthedoorandcloseditonMegan’sface.Iwasinnoconditiontotalkto
her.
ThistimeIwasgentlerwhenIheldOlive’s
faceinmyhands.Sheliftedherfaceandhereyeslockedwithmine.“I’mso
sorry,Olive.”ShehadstiffenedwhenI’dtouchedheragain,butseemedtorelax
asIslowlycaressedhercheekswithmythumbs.Ididn’tlikethefactthather
facewasstillpale,butshedidn’tseemtoshakeanymore.
Shegrabbedmyforearms.“Itwasn’tyour
fault.IthinkIoverreactedalittle.It’sjust…”Hereyesbrokecontact.“When
theclosetdooropenedandIsawherreflectioninthemirror…”
“Don’tapologize,sweetheart,”Isaid
gruffly.Itwasmyowndamnfaultfornotbringingmyownbodyguard.“I’m
sorry,Olive,”Imurmuredagainandpulledheragainstmychest.
Afewsecondslater,herarmstentatively
closedaroundmywaistandthetensionquicklyleftmybody.
“Youtooktenyearsoffofmylife,”I
mutteredagainstherhair.Iwasholdingherheadinplace,rightovermy
heart.
“It’sokay,Jason.Calmdown.I’mokay.”
Didsheevenknowhowmuchshehadscared
me?“Don’tdothatagain,”Isaid,pullingawaysoIcouldlookdownather.
“Don’teverstandaroundlikethatagain.”
Herbrowsdrewtogether,hercoloringslowly
comingbacktoherface.“Iwaswait—”
“Don’targuewithmeeither.Youshould’ve
waitedinmyroomaftersecuritygothere.”
HerfrowndeepenedandImatcheditwithmy
own.
“You’resleepingwithme,”Iannounced
beforeshecouldgetawordin.
Thatmadeherfrowndisappearcompletelyas
herprettylittlemouthdroppedopen.
Somanythingstodowiththatmouth.
Somanythingstosaylookingintothose
captivatingeyes.
“Whatdoyoumean?”sheasked,hereyes
narrowingwhenIlethergoandgentlypushedhertowardmyroom.
“Thebedisbigenough,Olive.You’llsleep
inmyroomwithme.”
“Okay,”shereplied,finallystartingto
walk.
“That’sit?Noargument?”
“Well,Ididgetscared,anditwasyour
fanscaringtheshitoutofmeafterall,sotheleastyoucandoissleepwith
me—toprotectmeofcourse,sooo…yeah,I’llgladlysleepinyourbed.”She
lookedatmeoverhershoulder,hereyesallinnocent.“It’snotlikeyou’ll
touchme,right?”
Holdingbackmylaugh,Ishookmyhead.“No
touching,don’tworry.”
“Phew.”Shewhistled,pretendingtoswipe
imaginarysweatfromherforehead.“ForasecondthereIwasoutofmymind
withworry.Let’sgotobed,then.”Westoppednexttothebed,myhandbarely
touchingherback.
“Oh,”shesaid,fullyturningtomeasshe
stoodbetweenthebedandme.
TherewasachancethatIwasstandinga
littletooclosetoher.
Hergazedroppeddowntomychestandher
eyesslightlywidenedasifshewasjustrealizingtherewasahalf-nakedman
rightinfrontofher.Whenhereyesstartedtotraillower,myskinprickled
andIhadtofightwithmybodytonotreacttoherbeautifulwanderingeyes.“I…I
shouldtakeashowerfirstsoI’lljust…”Hereyesjumpedbetweenmyeyesand
collarbone.“I’llheadtotheotherroomandgrab…mythings.I’llberightback.”
Shepattedmyarmandranaway.
Chuckling,Igotintobed.
Twentyminuteshadpassedwhenshefinally
putherkneeontherightsideofthebedandclimbedupnexttome.Therewas
toomuchspacebetweenourbodiesforustoevercomeincontact,butinstead
oflyingontheveryedgeofthebedlikeIwasdoing,shequietlygotunder
thecoversandsettledinthemiddle.
Itensed.
Maybeshejustwantedtolayinthemiddle
sowecouldsharethecoverswithouthavingtopullonthem?Ormaybeshewasa
turner,andtoavoidtumblingdown,sheneededtofallasleepfarawayfromthe
edge?Eitherway,Iwouldstayonmysidesoitwasokay.
Everythingwouldbefine.
Anothertenminutespassedandthanksto
Olive’stossingandturning,Iwasstillwideawake.
Everysingletimesheturned,moved,fluffed
herpillow,orquietlysighed,mybodygotareminderofherpresenceandof
courseactedaccordingly.Hell,evenherbreathingwasstartingtogettome.
Groaning,Iturnedtomyrighttoseeher
backfacingme.
“Jas—”shestartedtowhisper,butbefore
shecouldfinishmyname,Ireachedout,splayedmyhandonherstomach—thank
godshewasatleastwearingsomething—andpulledherbackagainstmychest.
Shegaspedandherbodystilled.Fora
moment,Ididn’tknowwhatIshoulddowithmyhand,butthenIdecidedtorest
mypalmonthebed,stillkeepingmyarmagainstherstomach,cagingherin.At
leastthiswayshewouldstoptossingandturningandwewouldfinallygoto
sleep.
“Jason?Areyousleeping?”shewhispered,
notturningherhead.
“Whatdoyouthink?”Imuttered.
“Sorry.Icanleaveifyouwant—”
Mycheststillcushioningherback,I
pulledmyhipsafewinchesback—justtomakesureshewouldn’tfeelanything
shewasn’tsupposedtofeel—andgaveherbodyagentletugwithmyarm.
“Gotosleep,Olive.”
“Oh,okay,”shemurmured.
Afewminuteslater,justwhenIwasabout
tofallasleep,shestartedtowiggleherbottom.Thelittleminxmanagedto
restherassrightabovemydick.Onewrongmoveandmyalreadyragingdick
wouldhavebeenrestingrightagainstherround,shapelyass—notthatIhadspent
muchtimelookingatit…
Whileherbreathinghaddeepenedshortly
aftershe’dmadesureherasswasperfectlyplacedtotortureme,ittookme
hourstofallasleep,battlingwiththeurgetomoveforward,justafew
inches,justtoletmydickcopafeel.
***
Myeyesstillclosed,Itookadeepbreath
andsmiledtomyself.Icouldfeelthemorningsunfilteringthroughtheopen
blinds,warmingmyskin.Itfeltgood.Theotherthingthatfeltmorethangood
wasOlive’sscentinmyroom.
WhenItriedtoliftmyarmtostretch,I
noticedaheavyweightonit.Openingmyeyes,Ifoundmynoseinchesawayfrom
Olive’sforehead.
Shit!
Atsomepointinmysleep,Ihadcradled
herinmyarmsandherleghadsomehowgottenthrownoverme,pressingmy
morningwoodintomystomach.ItriedtoseeifIcouldmoveaway,butitonly
mademattersworse.WhenOlive’shipsmovedandherthighpressedfirmer
againstmydick,Icouldn’tholdbackmygroan.
Shiftinginplace,shesnuggledcloserand
buriedherfaceinmythroat.
Oh,fuckmeforfuck’ssake!
Withmyfreehand,Ireachedtograbher
thighandpushitdown,butmyhandrestedover…herbareskin?BeforeIcould
stopmyself,myhandcreptupandmyfingertipstouchedthesideofher
underwear.
SweetJesus…
Hadshebeennakedwhenshe’dgotteninbed
withme?Wasshecrazy?
Itippedmyheaddownandlookedather
throughmyhalf-closedeyes.Shestillhadhershirton,butitwasallbunched
uparoundherwaist.
Droppingmyheadbackonthepillow,I
sighedandbelatedlynoticedthatIhadstartedmassagingherthigh,right
underherass.
Afterstillingforasecond,Ipulledback
myhandquickly.
Shemadeasoft,sweetnoiseinhersleep
andtriedtoclimbontopofme.
“Ohgod,”Igroanedquietly.Imanagedto
holdherinplacebeforeshecouldclimbuponmylap.Whenshesuddenlypulled
herlegawayandturnedtoherotherside,Isighedinrelief.Weweren’t
touching.Don’tgetmewrong,herasswasstillfreeofhershirtandifI
droppedmyeyesalittlelower,Icouldfindheaven,butIwasabletorestrain
myself.
Ipalmedmycock,andyeah,Ihadonehell
ofamorningwoodIwouldhavetotakecareofintheshower.Proppingmyself
onmyelbow,IlookeddownatOliveandsighed.
Shelookedsoinnocentinhersleep,so
beautiful,andshewasgoingtobemywifeinjustafewdays.
Justtoseeifshewouldwakeup,Itouched
herarmwithmyfingertipsandgentlytrailedthemdowntoherwrist.
Nothing.
Imademywaybackuptohershoulder,but
sheonlyburroweddeeperintoherpillow.
Feelinglikeapropercreep,Idecidedto
getupandtakecareofmyselfintheshowerbeforeIdidsomethingstupid.No
reasontoplaywithfire.
Leaningdown,Iplacedasmallkissonher
temple,andshereleasedasoftmoan.
Anoisethatmydicklikedalittletoo
much.
Badidea,Jason.Worstfuckingidea
Rollingawayfromher,Ijumpedintotheshower
andtookcareofmywaywarddickunderthehotwater.
ChapterTwenty-OneOlive
Afterspendingalmosttheentiredayonmy
ownbecauseJasonhadthingstodo,wewerenowinalimousinewithMegan,
headingtowardthetheaterwherethescreeningforthepremierewouldtakeplace.
“YouremembereverythingItoldyou,
Olive?”askedMeganafterhertalkwithJasonwasfinallydone.
Ittookalotformetonotrollmyeyes.
“Yes,Megan.I’llletJasondomostofthetalkingwhileIjustsmileandtry
tolookprettynexttohim.”IheldupafingerasifI’djustremembered
something.“Oh,sorry,Ialmostforgot—I’llalsomakesuretosomehowshowoff
myringwithoutappearinglikeI’mshovingitineveryone’sfaces.”
Jasonchuckledandextendedmehishand,
palmup.“We’realmostthere,comeon.”
Smilingsheepishlyathim,Itookhishand.
Istillcouldn’tmeethisdamneyes.ItriednottothinkaboutthetalkI’d
hadwithLucyjustthatmorning.
Me:ISLEPTINTHESAMEFREAKINGBEDWITH
JASON!
Lucy:Didyouseehisdanglybits?!Start
describing.Now.
Me:No,Lucy!Ididn’tseehis…anything.And,
ifIdoevergettheprivilegeofseeingit,I’mnotcallingit“danglybits”.
Lucy:You’renofun.Thenwhatthehellwere
youdoinginhisbed?Tellmeyoudidn’twatchhimsleeplikethecreeperyou
are.
Me:SometimesIquestionourfriendship.
Lucy:It’llpass,don’tworry.Comeon,
spillit.
Me:Longstoryshort,therewasacrazyfan
waitinginhisroom,whichhappenedtobemyroom.Aftershewasremoved,he
wantedmetosleepwithhimsohecouldkeepmesafe.
Lucy:Swoon.Didyouhearthethud?Ijust
faintedonthefloor.I’mcallingyou!
BeforeIcouldtypeinthatIcouldn’t
talk,herfacewasalreadylightingupmyscreen.
“I’msupposedtogetreadyforhairand
makeupinafewminutes,Ican’ttalk,”IsaidassoonasIansweredhercall.
“Hellotoyou,too,mybestfriend.Jeez.
Hairandmakeupyousay?Willyouevenremembermynameinafewdays?”
“Iwastheonewhotextedyoujustafew
secondsago.”
“Well,Icouldn’tshowmyexcitement
throughtexts,youhadtohearmyvoice.Youwantedtohearmyvoice,didn’t
you?”
Iopenedthebalconydoorandstepped
outsidetomakesurenoonecouldhearme.
“Ok,youdidgood.Ihavemoretotell,but
youcan’tfreakoutokay?Becauseifyoufreakout,I’llfreakout,andIcan’t
freakout.”
“Jesus,you’realreadyfreakingmeoutwith
allthedon’tfreakouts.”
“Ireallyhavetogobeforetheycomein.I
don’twanttoenrageMegan.Anyway,likeItoldyou,wesleptinthesamefreaking
bed,”Isaid,jumpingupanddownalittle.Iwasgettingexcitedjusttalking
aboutit.
“Yes,yes.Keepgoing,keepgoing!”
“Inthemiddleofthenight,Iwokeup
becauseIfeltsomethingonmyleg.”
“Whaaaaat?”shescreechedontheotherend
oftheline,andIhadtopullthephoneawayfrommyear.“Wasithisdangly
bit?”
“No,Lucy.Hisdickdidn’tmagicallygrow
legsandwalkovertome.Hewasstillasleep,buthishandwasonmyleg,and
hewas…”Iloweredmyvoiceandlookeddownatthefloor.“Massagingmythigh.”
Lucygasped.“Hetouchedyourleg.Thisis
scandalous.Goon.Ilovethis.”
Ibitmyliptokeepfromgrinning.“Then
hepulledmylegoverhislapandI—”
“Ohmygod!”LucyscreamedbeforeIcould
finishmysentence.“Hepulledyourlegoverhiscock!Youfelthiscock!Jameson
doesthatwhenheisawake!”
“Thanksforstealingmythunder,”I
muttered,butIwasstillsmiling.
“Olive?”Jason’svoicepulledmeoutofmy
thoughts.“We’rehere.Youreadytodothis?”
IlookedouthiswindowandwhenIsawwhat
waswaitingontheothersideofthedoor,Isuddenlydidn’tfeelsogoodafter
all.Iwasgettingusedtothepaparazzi—Ievenhadmyownfavoritesamongthem—but
this?IcouldunderstandwhyMeganwassohellbentonmakingsuremyentire
focuswasonJasonandonlyJason.
“Hey,”Jasonsaidsoftlynexttome.I
lookedathim,mypanicbarelyheldatbay.
Iwasscrewed.
“Youokay?”heasked.
“Wedon’thavetimeforthisrightnow,
Jason,”Meganinterjected.
“IhaveallthetimeforOlive.Ifyou’re
sodeterminedtogetoutthere,you’remorethanwelcome.”Hegesturedtothe
doorwithhishand.
Megantookahugebreath,gavehimadeath
glare,andsaid,“Trytobequick.”Thenshewasoutofthecar,leavingus
alone.
“Youokay?”herepeated.
“Therearesomanypeopleoutthere,”I
replied,myeyesstillfocusedonallthepeoplescreamingbeyondthered
carpet.
Jason’sfingerscaughtmychinandmy
attentionshiftedtohim.“Iwon’tletyououtofmysight.Wouldthatmakeyou
feelbetter?”
Hiseyesweresogentleonme.Hecared
aboutmemorethanhecaredabouteverythingthatwaswaitingforhimout
there.SomeoneknockedonthewindowandIjoltedinmyplace.
Ilookedoutthroughthebackwindowofthe
carandsawthatwewereholdinguptheline.
“Don’tmindthem.”Jasonturnedmyheadto
himagain;thistime,histhumbgentlybrushedtheundersideofmybottomlip.
Itookafewdeepbreathsandnoddedto
him.“I’dreallyappreciateitifyoudidn’tforgetaboutmeoutthere.”
“Olive,”hemurmured,hisheadslightly
tiltedtotheside.“I’mafraidit’stoolateformetoforgetaboutyouat
all.”Myeyesdroppedtothedimple.
Didhemeanthat?
WhileIwasbusybeingstupidaboutadamn
dimple,someoneyankedopenhisdoorandleanedintothecar.
“Mr.Thorn?”
“Comeon,”Jasongrumbledashepulledme
bymyhand.“Let’sgetthisoverwithsoyoucanseemekillabunchofguys
withnoshirton.”
Iclosedmyeyesand,withhishelp,
steppedout.
Allthescreamingandyellingthaterupted
allaroundusassoonastheyspottedtheirfavoriteactorforcedmetoopenmy
eyesandfacethemusic.
Jason’shandtightenedaroundminefora
briefsecondashesearchedforsomethinginmyeyes;whateverhesawmusthave
satisfiedhimbecausehewalkedforwardandgentlytuggedatmyhandtofollow
him.
Withmyfreehand,Ifurtivelysmoothed
downmyfullskirtasItriedtokeepupwithhim.Ohyeah,Iwaswearingafreaking
whiteBurberrydressthatIdidn’tevenwanttoknowthepriceof.Jasonhadhad
hisownstylist,Jewel,choosesomethingformeaswell,andaftergoingover
myoptions,wehaddecidedtogowiththeBurberrydress.Itwasthemost
beautifulthingI’deverputon.Thestraplessbustiertopfitmyskin
perfectlyanddidwondersformybreastswhilethefullskirtmanagedtomake
itlookevenmorefeminine.Ineverwantedtotakeitoff,especiallyafterI’d
caughtJasonsneakingpeeksatmybreastsmorethanafewtimes.
However,sincehehadsuchananguished
expressiononhisfacewheneverhiseyesdroppedlowerthanmychin,Icouldn’t
besureifhelovedthedressasmuchasIdidorhatedit.
NexttoJasonThorn,whowaswearinga
blacksuitthatmadeeverysinglewomaninhisvicinitylosetheirminda
little,I’dactuallyfeltadequatebeforewehadleftthehotel.Butnow…asmy
eyeslandedonhiscostarsandotheractorsandactressesthatwereeither
givinginterviewstothepressorposingforpictures,Ifeltassmallasan
antamongthem.
Whenourfeethittheredcarpet,Jason
pulledmetohisleft,towardthescreamingfans.Icouldn’tevenguessthe
numberofthem.Thebarriersandthestrategicallyplacedsecurityguards
seemedtobarelyholdthembackthewaytheypushedateachothertogetcloser
toJason.Someofthemwerecrying.
Jasonneverletgoofmyhandaswewalked
towardthem,butatsomepointaguywearingagraysuitapproachedustotalk
tohiminquiettonesandthenMeganwaspullingmeawayfromJason,forcingme
todrophishand.Briefly,heglancedatmeoverhisshoulderwithasmall
frownonhisface,butthenhadtofacehisfansandsignanythingand
everythingtheyshovedathim.
AmovementonJason’sleftcaughtmyeye
andIsawakid,barelyolderthaneightornine,runningtowardJason.Hehadmanaged
toslipawayfromoneofthesecurityguards,butbeforehecouldgettoJason,
anotheronecaughthim.ThecommotionmusthavecaughtJason’sattention—asit
dideveryoneelse’ssincethekidwasyellingandstrugglingtogetoutofhis
captor’shold—becauseheturnedandmotionedtotheguytoletgoofthekid.
Hekneeledinfrontoftheboywhenherantohim.Wecouldn’thearwhatthey
weresayingtoeachother,butthekidwasbeamingatJasonwithbarelycontained
excitement.HeshovedsomethinginhishandandJasonsigneditwithasmileon
hisface.ThekidlookedmywayandsaidsomethingtoJasonthatwasfunny
enoughtomakehimlaugh.Thekiddroppedhiseyesfromme,butJasoncaughtmy
eyeandsentmeawinkashemessedupthekid’shair.Thesamesecurityguard
cameandescortedtheboybacktohisdad.Afterthat,hechattedsomemoreand
signedafewmorearms.
WhenIthoughthewasfinallydone,he
lookedatmeoverhisshoulderandmotionedformetocometohisside.
IlookedatMegan,butshehadherbackto
meandwasbusyonherphone,soIshruggedandtentativelywalkedtoward
Jason.Itwasimpossibletohearanythinghewassaying,butasIgotcloser,I
sawthathewasholdingsomethingthickinhishand.Abook.
Myfreaking
book.
Doingmybestnottoshowmybafflement,I
madeittohissideandlookedathim,atalossastowhyhewantedmethere.
Hiswarmhandtouchedmyneckandheleaned
downtowhisperinmyear,“Theywantyoutosigntheirbook.”
“Me?”Imouthedtohimwhenhelookeddown
atme.
Henodded,smiled,andhandedmethebook.
Someonecametomysideandhandedmeapen.Inadaze,Isignedmorethan
twentybooks.
Twentyfreakingbooks!
WhenMeganappearedatoursidetotell
Jasonthatweneededtokeepmoving,Jasongrabbedmyhandinhis—whichmadeeveryone
screamevenlouder—andwemadeourwayacrossthecarpetsothephotographers
couldtakeJason’sphotos.
Thereweresomanyflashesgoingoff,so
manypeopleyellingJason’sname—andmyname.
IfeltlikeIwasinadream,ormaybeit
wasanightmare;Icouldn’tdecide
Whenwewerestandingrightinfrontofthe
cameras,Jason’shandlandedonmybackandhepulledmeclosertohisfront.
PerMegan’sinstructions,Iliftedmyhandtoshowofftheringandputiton
Jason’sstomach—ahardstomachthatcontractedatmytouch,astomachIhad
eyedforagoodamountoftime,andmaybeeventouchedonceortwicewhilehe
wassleepingthenightbefore.
Justwhenalltheflasheswereaboutto
blindmeforeternity,oneofthemyelled,“Jason!Akiss!Onewithakiss!
Itriedso,sohardtonotreact,tonot
grinliketheCheshirecat,butwhenJasongazeddownatmeandItiltedmy
headuptomeethiseyes,Ihadthebiggestsmileonmyface.
Whileeveryonearounduswasstillyelling,
Jason’shandtouchedmycheekandeverysinglepersonaroundusdisappearedfor
me.Itwasdeadquietinmymind.Itwashappening.Iwassecondsawayfrom
kissingmydreamguy.
Iwatchedhislipsdescendasmyheart
triedtoforceitswayoutofmychest.Mylittlebutterfliesweregetting
readyforthetakeoffoftheirlife.
But…
Butitdidn’thappenlikeithadhappened
inthedreamsI’dhadaboutJasoneversinceIcouldremember.Notevenclose.
WhileIwaswaitingfortheverybestfirst
kissinthehistoryoffirstkisses,Jasononlygavemeapeck.Afreakingpeck!
Hislipspressedagainstmineforonlytwoseconds,threetops.
Ifeltcheated.
And,well,sinceI’ddreamedaboutkissing
himforsuchalongtime—suchalong,longtime—Ihadahardtimenot
showingthedisappointmentIfeltonmyface.Forasecondthere—averyquick
second—Imighthavescrunchedupmynoseindistasterightafterhepulledaway
fromme.Justasquickly,Iputasmileonmylipsandlethimpullmeawayto
anotherstationwherehewouldbegivingshortinterviewstonumerousmedia
outlets.
FollowingMegan’sinstructions,Istoodback
alittleanddidmybesttokeepagenuinesmileonmyface.
Icouldn’tevenfoolmyselfintothinkinghe
justdidn’tlikePDA;theguyhadbeenpicturedinwayworsesituations.I
couldn’tevencounthowmanyphotosI’dseenthroughouttheyearswherehis
tonguewasdownthethroatofsomeactressormodel.
Evidently,hereallydidseemeasnothing
morethanafriend.Hell,evenIcould’vedoneamuchbetterjobatkissingmy
friend.
“You’renotsmiling.Smile,”Meganwarned
mefromherspotnexttome.
Ishowedhermyteethandshesighed,
shakingherhead.
WhenJasonwasdonewithallthe
interviews,thetimecameforhimtojoinhiscostarsforthegroupshots.
Closetothefinishline,right?Afterthe
mostdisappointingkissinhistory,whatelsecouldhappenthatwouldruina
beautifulnightevenmorethanitalreadyhadbeen?
JenniferWidnercouldhappen,folks.And
sheactuallydidhappen.Sheappearedoutofnowhereandtookherplacenextto
Jasonandtheirothercostars.Shecould’vestoodnexttoanyoftheothers,
but,nope,shechoseJason,andsheputherhandonhischestjustlikeIhad
doneminutesbefore.
Imaginemysurprisewhenshecaughtmyeye
andwinkedatme.
IwasstandingwayofftothesidesoI
couldn’tseeJason’sfacetotellifhehadseenherwink.Theyposedforaton
ofpicturesandwhenJasoncamebacktomyside,hestillhadhisdimpledsmile
onhisface.
Me?Notsomuch.
***
Attheendofthenight,afterallthe
crazinesshadended,wemadeittoourhotelroominonepiece.IbidMegana
goodnightandthankedherforallherhelp.Withoutherfirminstructions,I
would’velookedlikeafishoutofwater,atleastmorethanIalreadyhad.
AfterJasonandIenteredoursuiteandhe
madesuretolockthedoor,Iputafewpacesbetweenusandlookedathimwith
atiredsmileonmyface.“Itwasabeautifulnight,Jason.Thankyoufor
everything.”NotexactlysurewhatIshoulddo,Iputmyhandonhisarm,
hesitatedforamoment,andthenleaneduptogivehimasoftkissonhis
cheek
WhenIbackedaway,hisdimplewasoutto
play,butIwasdoneforthenight.Ididn’tevenhaveenoughstrengthtoappreciate
thewayhewaslookingatme,hiseyestravelingmybodyfromheadtotoe,or
howgoodhelookedwithhisshirtsleevesallrolledup,orhow…thelistwenton.
Reachingdown,Ipulledmyheelsoffmyfeetandwincedinpain.
Myfeetweregone.Dead.
“Youneversaidwhatyouthoughtaboutthe
movie.”
“Oh,Ididn’t?Sorry.Itwasamazing.You
weregreat.Thankyouforbringingmehere.”
Hissmilebrightenedhisface.
LiftingtheshoesupinawaveasIbacked
up,Isaid,“I’mheadingtobed,sogoodnight.Andagain,thankyouJason.”He’d
hadthesecuritycheckeveryinchofthesuitesoIknewwewerefan-freethat
night,whichmeantIhadnoreasonnottosleepinmyveryownroom
Hisbrowsdrewtogether.“You’regoingto
bed,now?”
“Megansaidourflightchangedandwe’re
leavingearlytomorrow.”Ishrugged.“Alsomyfeetarekillingme,soyes,I’m
endingthenight.”Igavehimanothersmallwaveandturnedaround,buthis
voicestoppedmebeforeIcouldescape.
“You’resleepinginthere?”Hisvoice
wasn’texactlyharsh,butitwasn’tassoftasithadbeensecondsbefore
either.
Ilookedovermyshoulder.“Yeah.Goodnight
Jason.”
Stridingdirectlytothebathroom,Ifilled
themagnificentclawfoottubwithhotwater,tookoffmyequallymagnificent
dress,andsighedwithreliefassoonasmytoessunkintothewater.
***
Inthemiddleofthenight,Iwokeupwhen
Ifeltsomethingmovinginmybed.Forasecond,Iwasconfused,butthenI
realizeditwasn’tadream.Iscreamedandtossedthecoversatwhoeverwasin
mybed—asifthatwouldbeenoughtoscareawaytheintruder—androlledawayto
jumpdownandsomehowgettoJason.
Whenastronghandlandedonmystomachand
draggedmebackagainstahardchest,Ilostmybreath.
“Stopyelling,”Jasongrumbledbehindme.
“Jason?”Iwhispered.“Jason!”
Myheartstillbeatingagainstmythroat,I
slappedathishandwhereitstilllaidonmystomachandyelledabitmore
justforgoodmeasure.
“Areyoucrazy?Ialmosthadaheart
attack.”
“HowwouldIknowyouwouldwakeup?”
“WhatdoyoumeanhowwouldIknowyou
wouldwakeup?”Itriedtorollovertofacehim,buthisarmtightenedaround
mywaistanddrewmecloseragainsthim.
ThistimeIlostmybreathforanentirely
differentreason.
“Don’tmove.I’mtryingtosleep.”
“Oh,andwhatdiditlooklikeIwasdoing?
Cartwheels?”
Whenhejustgrumbledunderhisbreathand
otherwisekeptsilent,Iasked,“Whatareyoudoinghere,Jason?Couldn’tyouhave
knockedandwokenmeupbeforeyoucrawledintomybed?Ithoughtoneofyour
crazyfanswasinbedwithme,thinkingIwasyou!”
“Well,itwasn’t.It’sjustme.Whatthe
hellisthatnoise?”
“What?Oh,cracklingfireandwindinthe
trees.”
“Cracklingfireand…wind…inthetrees,”he
repeated.
“Yes.”Iturnedmyheadtolookathimover
myshoulder.Hewasgivingmea‘you’reoutofyourgoddamnedmind’look.“What?
ItrelaxesmebeforeIfallasleep,”Isaid,takingoffense.
“Canyousleepwithoutit?”
“Ofcourse.Ijustlikelisteningtoit.”
Mybodywasallstiff,buthishand
caressingmyarmslowlyhelpedmerelaxandsettlebackintohim.
Heputhischinonmyshoulderandeyedmy
phonewhereitsatnexttomypillow.Hishotbreathwasticklingmyneck,butfor
themostpartImanagedtostaystill.
“Thewindiskindacreepy,Olive.”
“Icanchangeittorain.”
Pressinghisfacedeeperintomyneck,he
chuckled.
“Let’shearthatone.”
Quickly,Istoppedthewindandchangedit
to‘rainonroof’.
Hehummedtohimselfforafewsecondsthen
approved.“Ilikethiscombomuchbetter.”
“Thereiswaterfallorocean,too.”
“No,keeptherainandyourcracklingfire.
Doyourememberhowyouusedtositbyyourwindowandlistentotherainwith
youreyesclosed?”
“OfcourseIdo.”Buthowdidhe?
“Youalwayshadasmileonyourfacewhen
youdidthat,yourmindmilesaway.Yourmomusedtogetsofrustratedwithyou
whenyouwalkedoutintherainwithoutanumbrella.Yougotsickeverysingle
time,butnothingcouldstopyou.”
“Yeah,”Iagreedinathickvoice.“AndI
rememberyoutryingtostallherwheneveryousawmetryingtosneakout
withouthernoticing.”
“Well,it’shardtotrickyourmom.It’sa
two-manjob.”
Weweresilentforawhileafterthat
“IthinktheACinmyroomisbroken.I
didn’tseetheneedtocallsomeoneupjusttocheckoutwhat’swrongwhenwe
haveanotherperfectlywarmroom.”
“So…?”
“So,wehavetosharethebedforanother
night.Youcangobacktosleepnow.”
“Icanstillhearmyheartbeat,Jason.I’m
prettysureIwon’tbegoingbacktosleepanytimesoon.”
“Letmesee,”hewhispered,andsuddenly
hishandwasmovingupwardfrommystomachtowardmyheart.
Carefullyskippingmyboobs—darnit!—his
handrestedovermyheart.
“Hmm,you’reright;Icanfeelyour
heartbeat.”
Icouldn’tspeak.Nowordswhatsoever.
Hetookadeepbreathagainstmyneck,
causingmyentirebodytoshiver,andsaid,“Gotosleep,Olive.”Then,
finally,hishandmovedawayfrommyheartandwentbacktomystomach.Maybea
minuteafterthat,hisbreathingevenedoutandhefellasleep.
Justlikethat.
Istayedawakeforhours.
Engaged
toabadkisser?
DidyouseethenewphotosofHollywood’smost
talkedaboutcouple?Whiletheywerephotographedalloverthecitylastweek
andgenerallylookedhappytogether,thingsseemtohavetakenabadturnfor
OliveTaylor.
ThenewauthorandHollywood’sheartthrob
attendedJasonThorn’slatestmoviepremiereinLondonlastnight.Whilethey
bothlookedamazingtogetherandstoletheirfans’heartsbysigningeverything
thatwashandedtothem,itallchangedwhenitwastimetoposeforthe
cameras.
Fordaysnow,rumorshavebeenswirlingthatthe
newcoupleisconsideringtyingtheknotafterlosingsomanyyearsthat
could’vebeenspenttogether.Inthesecondphoto,youcanclearlyseethat
MissTaylorisproudlysportingadiamondringonherfinger.Wearethinking
therumorsaretrue!Howmanyofyouladieswoulddietobeinherplace?
Butthen,theunthinkablehappens.Whenthe
coupleisaskedtoshareakissforaphoto,Jasongivesherapeck!Apeck,
people!Thehandsomestar,whoisknownforhissexualprowess,whowe’veseen
devournumerouswomenonthebigscreen,givesMissTayloronlyapeck!Andthe
funnythingisyoucanseethedisappointmentonherfacesoclearly.
Weweredefinitelyexpectingamuchmoreheated
kissfromthecouple,andconsideringthelookonOlive’sfaceafterthewhole
thingwasover…darewesayJasonThornisagoodactor,butactuallyabad
kisserinreallife?
ChapterTwenty-TwoOlive
Ithadbeenexactlyaweekandahalfsince
wehadreturnedfromthemoviepremiereinLondon.Aweekandahalfsinceall
thetabloidsmadethepictureofme—theonenobodycouldseemtostoptalking
about—theircover.WhileJasonneverevenmentionedtheexistenceofit,Megan
hadbeenfuming.ShehadcalledmemorethanafewtimesjusttomakesureI
wasawareofhowmuchIwasscrewingthingsupforJason.Afterthatspecificconversation,
I’dexpectedtogetacallfromthemanhimselfwherehewouldgentlyletme
knowthatourfakeweddingthingwasoff.
Thatcallnevercame.
Whilewebarelysaweachothertheweek
aftergettinghome,I’dkeptmyselfbusywithpackingandwritingthefirstfew
pagesofmynewnovel.AsmuchasIwashappythatmymusewasback,Iwasjust
asunhappyaboutthefactthatIcouldn’ttellmymomanddadorevenDylan
aboutwhatwasgoingoninmylife.Atfirst,theyhadn’tbelievedthat
somethingwasgoingonbetweenJasonandmeandchosenottolistentothe
press,butaftertheysawthephotosofthepremiere,theyhadcalledandasked
mepointblankifeverythingwastrue.Ihatedlyingtothem,butIhadno
otheroptionifIwantedachancetomakethingsrealwithJason.
Needlesstosay,neitheroneofthemwere
happywithme.Whilemydadonlyspoketomeforafewseconds,mymomwas…she
wassadandworriedthatIwasmakingamistake.BecausethefilmingforSoul
Achewasabouttostart,Icouldn’tevengotothemuntilJasonhadfree
timetocomewithmebecausetherewasnowayIwasfacingthemalone.Noway
inhell.
So,thatmorning,inJasonThorn’smillions
ofdollars’worthofBelAirhome,IhadofficiallybecomeOliveThorn.Other
thanLucy,Tom,andMegan,therewerenowitnessestoourholymatrimony.Even
Charcouldn’tmakeitbecauseshehadafulldayofexams.
Twohoursafterour‘wedding’,Jasonhad
leftmewithLucybecausehehadtobeonsetforrehearsalsandsomeother
stuff.Awhileafterthat,Lucyhadhadtoleaveforaclass.
Whichleftmynewlymarriedassallalone
inJason’shome.Asthehourspassed,Igavemyselfatourofhishouseand
happilydiscoveredthathehadahugemediaroomwithincrediblycomfortable
leatherseats.Afterwalkingaroundaimlessly,inandoutofhishouse,I
forcedmyselftositdownnexttothepoolwithmylaptopandgetsomewordsin.
WhentheskystartedtodarkenandIwas
stillalone,Idecidedthatitwouldbeagoodideatostartcelebratingmy
veryownweddingdaywithadrink.Thenonedrinkledtoanother,andthenanother.
Ididawesome.Happyfuckinghoneymoon
tome!
ThenextthingIknewIwasdialingLucy’s
number.
“BeingJasonThorn’swifeisnot”—I
hiccupped—“asglamorousasIthoughtitwouldbe.”
“Areyoudrunk?”Lucyasked.
“Sowhat?SowhatifIam?Wereyouhaving
sexwithJameson?Becauseifyouwere,goodforyou.Goodforeveryonewhois
havingsex.Technicallyit’smyhoneymoon,anddoyouknowhowmuchsexI’m
havingrightnow?Nada.Zilch.Exactlythatmuch.Thinkaboutthat.Yourmind
isblown,right?”
Lucylaughedforagoodminute.“Yours
soundsblown,allright,”shesaid,stillchuckling.“Ithinkyoushouldslow
downonthedrinks.”
“Youwouldthinkthat,right?Imean,if
JasonThorncan’tblowyourmind,whotheheckwill?Butishehereblowingmy
mindrightnow?Nope.MyvaginaisperfectlyuntouchedbyaJasonThornpenis.
Hell,evenmylipsareuntouched.”
“Ithoughthewouldcomebackbynow.”
Therewasarustlingattheendofherlineandshemurmuredsomethingto
someone.
“YouwerehavingsexwithJameson!Iknew
it!Everyoneishavingsexrightnow!”
“Doyouwantmetocome?Andjustforthe
record,youhornynewlywed,Iwasn’thavingsexwithJameson.Wewere…wewere
justlyinginbed.Heissleepingactually.”
Isatupstraighterandalmostknockeddown
mychampagneglass.“You’refallinginlovewithhim!”
“Okay,nowyou’rejustramblingnonsense.I’ll
bethereassoonasIcan.”
“No,”Iwhined,takingthelastgulpofmy
champagne.“Iwannacometoyou.I’msecondsawayfromgoingtohisroomand
justrubbingmyselfalloverhissheets.Ican’tstayhereforlong.”
“Itsoundslikeyoualreadydidthat.”
“Notexactly.Soooo,wouldyouliketotell
meabouthowyouareinlovewithJamesonbutprettymuchscaredoutofyour
mindtohope?”
Silence.
“Ok.Holdtight.I’mcomingtogetyou.”
***
“Hesmellsso,sogood,Lucy.Ismelled
everythinginhisroom.Itwasso,sogood.Whydon’tyousmelllikehim?”I
leanedforwardinherarmsandtriedtosniffherhair.“Youstilldon’tsmell
likehim.”
“I’mthinkingthat’sagoodthingright
now.Trytostaystillforaminute!We’regonnafalldownthestairsthen
you’llnevergettosmellhimagain.”
“Ican’tfall.Iwanttosmellhimandlick
himallover.”
“Good,thenhelpmealittlesowecanget
youuptheselastfewstepsandinabed.”
Ihummedasongthatwasstuckinmyhead
andmanagedtomakeitinfrontofourapartment’sdoorwithLucy’shelp.“I
didit!”Iyelled,liftingupmyarms.“Ididit!Now,whatdoIwin?Onenight
withJason?”
Lucy’shandclampeddownonmymouth.“Be
quietforgod’ssake,”shehissed,andinsteadoftakingoutherkey,she
knockedonthedoor.
Marcusopenedit.“Whatisgoingon—”
“Marcus,”Icriedandthrewmyselfinhis
arms.
Catchingmeatthelastsecond,heglanced
atLucybeforelookingdownatme.
“Igotmarried,”IannouncedasIshovedmy
ringinhisface.“See?”
“Idosee,”hesaid,pullingmeupinhis
armsasIstartedtoslidedown.
“What’swrongwithher?”heaskedto
someoneovermyshoulder.IlookedbackandrememberedthatLucyhadbroughtme
backhome.ThenInoticedthatmyhandsweretouchingbareskin.
IfrownedatMarcus’nakedchest.“Whyare
younotwearinganything?”
“Ithinkyoulosttheprivilegetoask
that,don’tyouthink?”
Myfrowndeepened.“WhyshouldIlost
privy-le…privilg—”
“Oh,stopityoutwo,”Lucyexclaimedfrom
behindmyback.“Eitherhelpmegetherin,orgetoutofourwaysoIcan—”
Beforeshecouldfinishherwords,Iwas
upandinMarcus’arms.
“Whoaaaa,”Ichuckled.“Younevercarried
mebefore,Marky.Whydidn’tyouevercarryme?Idon’tthinkI’mfeelingso
good,”Iadded,restingmyheadonhisshoulder.
Charlottewasleaningagainstherdoorframe,
herfaceunreadable.“Char,Imissedyoutoday,”Isaid,holdingoutmyhandto
her,butsheshookherheadandclosedherdoor.
“Whereareyougoing?”askedLucy,following
ushurriedly.“Takehertomyroom.”
“What’swrongwithChar?”Iasked,butboth
MarcusandLucyignoredme.
“Marcus,areyouhearingme?”sherepeated.
Marcusopenedhisdoor,carriedmetohis
bed,andgentlyplacedmeinthemiddle.
Icurledintomyselfandmurmured,“My
stomachisdoingsomethinginside.”
“Whatdoyouthinkyouaredoing,Marcus?”
“I’mtakingcareofher.Someonehasto.”
“WhatthehelldoyouthinkIwasdoing?”
“You’rebeingtooloud,”Isaid,cringing
andgrabbingontothesheetssoIcouldstopspinning.
“Comeon,Olive.Let’sgotomyroom.”
“Letherbe,”interjectedMarcus.“Jameson
isstillinyourroomandOlive’sroomispracticallyempty.Sheneedstosleep
itoff.Wherethehellisherso-calledhusband?”
“That’snoneofyourconcern,Marcus,”I
heardLucysay.
Someonesatdownbesidemeandstartedto
brushthehairawayfrommyface.Itfeltnice.Whycouldn’tJasonbrushmy
hairaway,too?Itmust’vebeenMarcus.Icouldn’trememberLucyhavingsuch
bighands.“Ithinkitis.Doesn’tlooklikeyouaredoingaverygoodjobof
lookingafterher,Lucy.”
Igroanedandturnedmybacktothem.Iwas
tootiredtolistentothembicker.
ChapterTwenty-ThreeJason
Fuming,IstoodinfrontofOlive’soldroommate
andex-boyfriend,tryingmybesttonotdecktheguy.
“GetmeOlive,”Igrowledforthesecond
time.
“Sheisnotinastatetoseeyourightnow,
man.Isuggestyoucomebackinthemorning.”Hetriedtoclosethedoorinmy
face.
Ihadcomehomelate,onlytofindanempty
bottleofchampagneandOlive’slaptopnexttothepool,butnoOlive.
WhenI’dtriedtocallher,Ifoundher
phoneinherownroomrightacrossfrommine.Worriedoutofmymind,I’dgone
throughherphone,calledherfriendLucy,andlearnedthatshewasattheir
place.
Ihitthedoorwithmypalmandforcedhim
toopenit.“Olive,”Iyelledintotheapartment.InsteadofOlivecomingout,
asleepy-eyedLucyappearedbehindthedouchebag.
“What’sgoingonhere?Jason?Areyouhere
togetOlive?”
“Yes,”Igrittedthroughmyteeth,keeping
myeyesonMarcus.“CanyoutellherthatI’mhere?”
GrabbingontoMarcus’arm,Lucytriedto
pullhimback,buthewasn’tbudging.Thatsonofabitchhadhiseyesonme,
too.
“Haveyoulostyourmind,Marcus?Heisher
husbandforgod’ssake.”
Hegaveanunamusedlaugh.“AsifIwould
believethatwastrueafterthewayshecamehere.”
MyeyesflewtoLucy’swithadifferent
kindofworry.“IsOliveokay?Didsomethinghappen?”
“Asifyoucareabouther,”Marcusspat.
Lucy’sfacesoftened.“Sheisfine,Jason.
Shejustdrankalittletoomuch.Sheissleepingitoff,that’swhyIsaidon
thephonethatyoucouldcomeandgetherinthemorning.”
Fedupwiththeidiot,Ibulldozedmyway
intotheirapartment.
“Hey!”heyelledafterme.
Justcomeatmeboy,Ithought.ComeatmesoIcantakeitoutonyou
“Whereisshe?”Iasked,lookingatLucy.
Charlotte,theotherroommate,waswatching
everythingunfoldcalmlyinfrontofanopendoorway.Itookasteptowardher
andsheshookherhead.“SheissleepinginMarcus’room.”
IwhirledonMarcus,mypatiencecompletely
gone.“Yousonofabitch!Didyoutouchher?!”
“Whatdoyoucare?You’renothingtoher.”He
raisedhisvoiceandpuffeduphischest,comingtowardme.BeforeIcould
reachhimandmessuphisprettylittleface,Lucygrabbedmyforearm.
“Stopit,bothofyou!Hedidn’t,Jason.Jeez.”
SheshotanannoyedlookatMarcus.“Noonedid.Iwassleepingnexttoher.
Comeon,”sheexplainedinarushandpulledmetowardanothercloseddoor.
Myhandswereitchingtolayitontheguy,
butIletLucy’ssmallframepullmeawayfromhim.
IenteredtheroomafterherandsawOlive
sleepinginthemiddleofthebed,herlegspulledupintoherstomach.Allmy
angermeltedoffmeandmyheartsettleddown.Iwouldhavetositdownand
thinkaboutwhatthatmeant.
Puttingonekneeonthebed,Islidmyarms
underherbackandkneesandliftedherupinmyarmsasgentlyaspossible.I
tookadeepbreathandcaughtherbeautifulscent.
Hereyesblinkedopenandasweetsmile
spreadacrossherface.“Jason,”shemumbledquietly.Sherestedherhead
againstmychestandclosedhereyesagain.
Shereekedofalcohol.
Iclearedmythroattosoftenmytone.“It’s
me,sweetheart.I’mtakingyouhome.”
“Idon’twannago,”shemurmured.“Wewere
havingsex.”Sheloopedherarmsaroundmyneckmoresecurelyandpushedher
facefartherintomyneck.
Mybodyrespondedtoherscentasitalways
seemedtodolately,butIshookitoff.Nothere.
Myfrownbackinplace,mygazesnapped
backtoLucytoseeherbarelyholdingbackherlaughter.
“Whatthehellisshetalkingabout?”I
forcedoutwithagrowl.
“Nothing,nothing,”shesaidhurriedly.
“I’massumingshewasdreamingofyoutwohavingsex.Shewasblubberingabout
honeymoonsonherwayoverhere.”
What?
“Oh.”
Well,okthen.
Carryingherbacktothelivingroom,Isaw
Marcuswaitinginfrontofthedoor,hishandscrossedagainsthischest,his
facedarkwithanger.
“Don’tyouevergetinmyway
again,”IsaidinalowvoicewhenIpausednexttohim.
“Idon’tcarewhothehellyouare,but
whenyouendthischaradeandleaveherinamess,I’llbetheonetakingcare
ofher.”
Lucyreachedaroundhimandopenedthedoor
forme,butIcouldn’tmovefrommyspot.Iwasontheedge,havingtrouble
justlettinghimgowithoutdoingsomedamage.
“YoushouldtakeOlivehome,Jason,”Lucy
said,stillholdingthedooropenforus.“Sheisshivering.”Ilookeddownat
Oliveandsawthatherarmswerecoveredingoosebumps.
NotmeetingMarcus’gazeagain,Isaida
quickthankyoutoLucyanddrovebackhomeasfastasIcouldsoIcouldget
Olivebackinherbed,whereshebelonged.
***
Parkingmycarinthegarage,Irestedagainst
myseatandletoutadeepbreath.Olivewascurledupnexttome,snoring
softly.Roundingthecar,Iopenedthedoorandcalledhername.
“Olive,we’rehome.Wakeupsweetheart.”
“Goaway,”shemumbledwithoutevenopening
hereyes,keepingherbackturnedtome.
“Olive,baby,canyouhelpmesowecanget
inthehouseandgotobed?”
Noanswer.
Okthen…
Ileaneddownandcarefullycradledherin
myarmsagain.Shedidn’tevenhesitatetoputherarmsaroundmyneckand
snugglecloser.
“You’resowarm,”shemumbled,herlips
movinginasoftcaressagainsttheskinofmyneck,causingmetogrindmy
teethtogethertokeepmyselffrommoaningorworse…Amomentlater,shefell
asleepinmyarms.
GettingabarelyconsciousOlivebackin
thehouseprovedtobeharderthanI’dthoughtitwouldbe.WhenIfinallydid
managetogetusinsidewithoutanypermanentdamage,Ifalteredbetweenthe
doorsofourrooms.Ishould’veputheronherownbed,butIwantedtokeepan
eyeonherthroughoutthenight,justincaseshegotworse.FromwhatIcould
smell,she’dhadmorethanjustabottleofchampagneonherown.
WhenIputheronmybed,shedidn’teven
openhereyestoseewhereshewas.Ireachedoutandswitchedonthesmall
bedsidelampjustsoIcouldseeifshewasallright.Thesoftyellowlight
illuminatedtheroomandhelpedmetoseeOlive’sfacemoreclearly.Myeyes
fellonherclothes,andItriedtodecideifIshouldtakethemoff.Deciding
againstitprettyquickly,Irubbedthebackofmyneckandletherbe,heading
tothebathroomtotakeaquickshower
Ireturnedtotheroomandfoundhertrying
tounbuttonherjeansandnotdoingaverygoodjobofit,thoughshehadbeen
successfulwithtakingofhershirt—thankfully,herbrawasstillon.Itwas
anotherlacynumberwhereIcouldseethroughandmakeoutherarousednipples,
butatthatpointanythingwasbetterthannothing.
“Olive,stop.”Ihurriedtohersideand
putmyhandonhers.“Stop.”
Asmalllineappearedbetweenherbrowsand
shesquintedatme.“Hot.Iwantitoff.”Forgoodmeasure,shekickedherlegs
andfumbledwiththeflyofherjeans.
Islappedmypalmonmyforeheadandturned
offthelightbeforeIreachedforherjeans.
Asmyfingersmadecontactwithhersoft
skinofherstomach,atinglewentthroughmyspineandIhadtoclosemyeyes.
Mydicktwitchedinmybriefs,cursingme.
Iwholeheartedlyagreed.
Nowthatshehaddecidedtobehelpful,she
tiltedupherhipsintomyhandsandhelpedmeeasethejeansoffdownher
legs.Ikeptmyeyesawayfromherbodythewholetime.Tostaybusy,Iturned
mybacktoher,foldedherjeans,andputthemonmydresser.ThenIreached
fortheshirtshehadthrownrightacrosstheroomandfoldedthattoo.
WhenIfacedthebed,Icouldeasilymake
outOlive’sformlyingonherfacerightinthemiddle.Herpantieswerewhite
lacetoo.Theylookedwonderfulonherfull,roundedass.Nothingflatonmy
Olive.Nothingwhatsoever.
Foramoment,whenIcouldfinallypeelmy
eyesawayfromherass,Iwonderedifsheenjoyedsleepingsprawledacrossthe
bedjusttotortureme,becauseitsureseemedlikeshedid.Ipickedupanold
shirtofminefrommyclosettoputonher.Ashotassheseemedtothinkthe
roomwas,Ididn’tthinkshewouldbeveryhappytofindherselfinjusther
underwearwhenshewokeup.
Itwouldn’thurtmetohavehercoveredup
either.
Bringingbackaglassofwaterfromthe
kitchen,Iwokeherupsoshecouldtakeafewsips.Insteadoftakingthe
glassfrommyhands,sheclosedherownovermineanddrankitallinafewbig
gulps,allthewhilegrumblingtoherself.
Assoonasshewasdone,sheploppedonto
thepillowsagain.Afterstrugglingwiththecovers,Imanagedtopullthe
shirtoverherandsighedinrelief.
Thatwasn’tsohardnowwasit?
Gettingintobedwasmucheasierforme.I
madesuretostayonthefarsideofthebedandkeptmyeyesonOlivetomake
sureshewasstillbreathing.ImusthavefallenasleepbecauseIjoltedawake
whenIfeltOlive’shairticklingmyarm.WhenIlookeddownshewaslyinghalf
overmeand…wasshe…rubbingherselfonmyleg?
Christ!
Igroanedandreacheddowntograbher
thigh,butinamaneuveryouwouldn’texpectfromadrunkshehadmanagedto
climbontomystomach.
“Olive,”IhissedwhenIfeltthedampness
ofherunderwearonmylowerstomach.Hereyeshalfopen,sheglanceddownat
meanddrowsilyasked,“Arewehavingsexyyet?”
DespitethedangeroussituationIhadfound
myselfin,IchuckledandthenletitturnintoagroanwhenOlive’ships
startedtomoveoverme.Itightenedmyfingersonherthighsandstoppedher.
Ifshedidanotherdownwardmove,mydickwouldbeinhotwater.
“Sweetheart,whatareyoudoing?”
“Iwannaconsummatenow.”
IgroanedlouderandclosedmyeyessoI
couldfocusforasecond.Olive’ssmallhandslandedonmychestandshe
startedtobunchupmyshirt.“Off,”sheordered.
“Nothingiscomingoff,”Isaid,finally
comingtomysensesandgentlytippingheroffmybodyandbackontothebed.
InsteadoffightingmeonitlikeIexpectedherto,shesighedandmuttered,
“Ineedit.”Thenshestartedtoliftoffherownshirt.
Igrippedthehemandpulleditdown.“Your
clothesarestayingontoo,Olive.”
“ButIwantitsomuch,Jason.”Shelooked
atmeinthedark,hereyesglazedandherforeheadpuckered.Herhandsletgo
oftheshirtandfoundtheirwaytomylips,thenmycheeks.“Iusedtolove
watchingyousmile,”shewhispered,halfclosinghereyesasifshewas
imaginingourchildhood.Herfacetookonawistfulexpression.“Iusedtolook
atyouwhenIwassurenoonewouldnoticeandjustwaitforittoappear.Your
dimple,Imean.Itmademesogiddy.Willyoushowittome,now?LucysaidI
shouldlickit.”Sheliftedhereyebrows.“CanI?”
Shakingmyhead,Ismiled.“Sweetheart,you
aredrunk.Howaboutwegotosleep?”
Shehuffedandpunchedthemattress
lightly.“ButIwant…”
“Whatdoyouwant?”Iaskeddistractedlyas
Ibrushedawaythestrandsofhairshewastryingtoblowawayfromherface.
“IwantJason.”Sheutteredthewordsso
softlyandinsuchawaythatitremindedmeofagirlmakingabirthdaywish,
eyesclosingtightlyjustbeforeblowingoutallthecandles.Suchaninnocent
andsimplewish,yetallthemorepowerfultorendersomeonespeechless.
Thenjustlikethat,aswitchwentoffand
hervoiceturnedhusky.“Iwanttocome.”Whimperingsoftly,sheliftedher
hipsoffthebed.
“Olive,youhavenoideawhatyou’re
saying.Let’sgotosleepsoyoucansoberup,okay?”
“Canyougivememytoy,Jasonwhoisnot
Jason?Ireallyneedit.”BeforeIcouldaskwhatthehellshewastalking
aboutshegrabbedmywristandpushedmyhandintoherunderwear.
Death.
Pure,sweetdeath.
Iwasgoingtoburninflames,bothinhell
andinlife.
Iclosedmyeyesandtriedtobreathe
throughit,butitonlymademattersworsewhenIinhaledinherscent.Don’t
judgeme—Ididtrytopullmyhandaway,butshewasfasterthanme,andbefore
Icouldreactsheflattenedherhandovermine.
“I’msoaked,”shemoanedasshestartedto
touchherselfwithmyfingers.
“Olive,”IhissedwhenIfeltherwetness
allovermyfingers.“Olive,pleasestop.”Itriedtopullmyhandaway,but
sheheldontomywristwithherfreehandtomakesureitstayedwhereitwas.
Pushingmyforeheadagainsthertemple,I
whispered.“Olive,you’rekillingme,sweetheart.Please,letmyhandgo.”
God.
Herlegsfellopenandshepushedoneofmy
fingersfirmeragainstherclit.
Herscentwasdrivingmecrazy,hersoft
pantingreachingrightdowntomydickasifshehadhermouthwrappedaround
me.Pullingmyhipsbackjustincaseshedecidedtogoformysweatpantsandgot
ideasbecauseIwashardasarock,Ijerkedmyhandawayfromherwetness
beforeshecouldstopmeagainandbrushedakissonhertemple.
“You’restilldrunk,Olive.Youdon’tknow
whatyou’redoing.”
Unexpectedly,shefullyturnedtomeand
buriedherfaceagainstmythroat,herweightforcingmetofallonmyback.
WhenIfeltawetnessonmyskin,Iheldherjawbackandlookedatherface.
Tomyuttershock,shewassilentlycrying.
“Baby,what’swrong?”Iasked,clearingher
tearswithmythumbs.
Herbeautifuleyesmetmineandshebroke
myheartintovery,verysmallpieces.“Ijustwanttoconsummatesotheywon’t
takehimawayfromme.”Shesniffledandhidherfaceagainstmyneckagain.
Jesus.Howcouldshestillbedrunkoffher
ass?ExactlywhathadshehadwhileIwasgone,andforhowlong?
“Baby,”Iwhispered,tryingtocalmher
down.
Iknewthiswasn’tmyOlivetalking,butif
shehadn’tbeensodrunk,wecould’ve…hell…donesomethingaboutthis.Talk?
Fuck?Whateversheneeded.
“CanIhavemytoynow?”sheasked,still
sniffling.
Goddamnit!
Maybeshesleptwithastuffedtoyor
something?
Ihadmyfingerscrossed,but…
“Isthistoyyou’reaskingfor…isitsomething
youusetomakeyourselfcome,sweetheart?”
Hertear-filledeyesmetmineasshenodded
andnibbledonherbottomlip.
TherewasnowayIwasgoingthroughher
stufftofindaplasticdick.TherewasalsonowayinhellIwasletting
myselfhaveher,nomatterhowmuchmydickdisagreedwithme.
“Openyourlegs,sweetheart,”Iwhisperedfinally.
Ifshecouldhavetheorgasmshewasclearlydesperatefor,maybeshewouldgo
tosleep.
Whensheletthemfallopenandgotmore
comfortableonthebed,Iliftedherlegandputitinbetweenmythighs,
holdingheropenforme.Myhandwouldbetheonlythingshewouldgettonight,
butitwouldbemorethanenoughtosatisfyher.
Iplacedmyhandonherstomachandshe
moaned,archingintomytouch.Shewaskillingme—aslow,beautifuldeath,but
adeathnonetheless.Iwhisperedencouragementsintoherearandsherelaxed
furtherintothemattress.
“Afteryougetwhatyouneed,you’regoing
tosleep,okay?”
Shenoddedreadily.Itookadeepbreath,only
topullherscentindeeper.
Swirlingmyfingeraroundherclit,I
watchedherthrashundermytouch,moaningandwhimpering.
Mydickthrobbedinmypants,dyingtoget
outandplaywithher.Iclosedmyeyesandfocusedonhersoft,wetskin.
Everynowandthen,Istoppedtouchingher,draggedmywetfingersupagainst
herstomach,andwatchedherliftupherhipstohavemyfingerback.Iwas
fascinatedbyeverymoveshewasmaking.
WhenIwasgettingclosetolosingmymind,
Istrokedandcaressedherfaster,myfingersfirmagainstherclit.That
seemedtoturnheronevenmoreandshemoanedlouder,beggingmeformore.
“Shhh,sweetheart.Igotyou.”
“Jason,”shewhisperedinbetweenher
moans.Mynamespillingoutofherlipswaslikeacaressonmypoundingheart.
Imoanednexttoherearandwatchedher
bodytremble.
“Isthiswhatyouneeded,baby?”I
whisperedback.
“Yes.Yes.”
“Good,”Imumbled.Ipressedakissonher
temple.
Whenherhandreachedoutandclampeddownon
mythigh,herfingersdigginginsoclosetomydick,Igroanedandwatchedher
loseherselfinherorgasmashercriesalmostpushedmeovertheedge,too.
Shetriedtocloseherlegsonme,butIpushedthemapartagainandkept
strokingheruntilshecalmeddownandstartedtowhimpersweetly.
Pullingmyhandoutofherunderwear,I
brushedanotherlingeringkissonhertempleandlethercurlintomeasshe
triedtocatchherbreath.Soon,herbreathingevenedoutandshefellasleep
inmyarms.
IthadbeenalongtimesinceI’dfeltthe
wayOlivewasmakingmefeel—iftherehadeverbeenatime…
I’dmissedsomething.I’dmissedwhatwas
happeningbetweenus.Shewasn’tDylan’ssisterinmyeyesanymore.Shewasmy
littleone,justliketheveryfirstdaywe’dmet.Andnowshewasmywife.
Everytimeshelookedintomyeyeswithher
heartwideopen,shewaspullingmeindeeper.Asmuchasthiswholethinghad
startedasacharade,Ididn’tknowifIwouldbeabletolethergowhenthe
timecame.
Icurledmyselfaroundhersmallframeand
tuckedhercloseragainstmyburningbody.Itwasn’tenough.Slippingmyarm
underherhead,Ipulledoneofherlegsovermythighandmadesureshewould
stayjustlikethat.
Withasoftsmileonmyface,Iwhispered,
“Sweetdreams,wife.”
Ittookamomentforthatsinglewordto
hitmeinthegut.
Ittookanothertofeelhowrightit
sounded.
Itwasashameshewouldn’tremember
anythingpastthepointofmecarryingherintohernewhomewhenshewokeup
thenextmorning.
ChapterTwenty-FourOlive
“Howcouldyounottellmethisbefore
today?”
“Megansprungitonmeattheverylast
minute,Olive.Don’tworry,it’llbefun.You’lllikeit.”
“Areyousure?AreyouverysurethatI
willlikeit,Jason?”Inarrowedmyeyesathimandwatchedhislipstwitchas
hefocusedonsomethingonhisphone.Iheardachucklecomefrombesidemeso
IturnedmygazetoAlvinandliftedabrow.
IhadmetJason’sassistantjustafewdays
beforewhenwe’dliterallyrunintoeachotheratthehouse.Ididn’tknowmuch
abouthim,butheseemedtobeanokayguy.Hewasdefinitelyontopof
everything.FromwhatIhadseenforthepastfewdays,hewaspractically
runningJason’slife.Kudostohim.
“Didyouknow?”Iaskedhim.
“Ofcourseheknew,Olive.Hearrangesmy
schedule.”
“Whatthebosssays,”Alvinagreedwith
him.
“Great.Awesome.Neitheroneofyouthought
itwouldbehelpfultomentionaheadoftimethatI’dbeinamagazineshoot.
Asin,maybe,Idon’tknow,afewdaysbefore?”Ikeptfidgetingwithmy
hands.
“Stopfidgeting.Otherthanmakingyoufreak
outlikeyouaredoingrightnow,howwouldithavebeenhelpful?”askedJason.
Igavehimadisbelievinglook.“IfI
could’vestartedfreakingoutafewdaysbefore,rightnowIwouldbemuch
calmer,Jason.Also,doesn’tMeganneedtoinstructmeorrehabilitatemeor
somecraplikethat?HowamIsupposedtoknowwhatIcansayandwhatIcan’t?”
Hefinallyliftedhiseyestomeetmygaze.
“Youdon’tneedinstructionsforaphotoshoot,Olive.Justbeyourself,and
I’llhandletherestofit.”
Photoshoot.
EverytimeIheardtheword,Istartedshakingalloveragain.
Apparently,Megan’sideaofannouncingour
happymarriagetotheworldwastoannounceitthroughthemostfuckingpopular
women’smagazineontheplanet.Ilearnedthattherehadbeenatalkofdoinga
liveinterview,butthankfullythatideahadn’ttakenhold.Aphotoshootwas
thelesserevilinmybook,butitdidn’tmeanIwasoverthemoonwiththatoutcome
either,especiallywhenIlearnedaboutitthemorningof.
“We’rehere,”Alvinannouncedasourcar
stoppedinfrontofarelativelysmallindustrialbuilding.
Ireleasedabigbreathandexitedthecar
afterthem.
“Holycrap!”Iwhisperedwhenwesteppedinside
thebuilding.Itwasafullyfurnishedloft,anditlookedspectacular—apart
fromallthepeoplerunningaround,thatis.AsItookineverythingaroundme,
Iforgotallaboutmynervousness.Puttinghishandonthesmallofmyback,
Jasonguidedmefartherin.
Secondslater,beforeIcouldtakeinmy
fill,Alvinwaswalkingtowarduswithquickstepsandawomanbyhisside.
Whenhadheevenleftourside?
Iforgotallabouttheloftandfocusedonthe
womannexttohim.Bythetimetheywerestandinginfrontofus,shehad
practicallyeye-fuckedJasonandhadasalaciousgrinonherface.
“Hello,Mr.Thorn.”Jasonreachedforthe
woman’soutstretchedhandandshookit.
“Please,callmeJason.It’sJulie,right?”
Hergrinturnedbrighterwhensherealized
Jasonrememberedhername.
Shenodded.“Yes.Wearesoexcitedtowork
withyoutoday.”
Finally,theyletgooftheirhandsandshe
continued.“Ourmakeupandhairstationsarereadyforthebothofyou.Assoon
asyou’rereadywecanbegintheshootandthentheinterviewwilltakeplaceon
thefirstfloor,afterwehavetheshots.”
Iclearedmythroatandcaughther
attention.
Atlast.
Hercheeksflushed,butonlyslightly.
“Nicetomeetyou,Olive.I’mJulie.”
Ishookherhandandtriedtogivehera
genuinesmile.“Nicetomeetyou,too,Julie.”
Sheclappedherhandsonce.“Okay.Letme
takeyoutohairandmakeup,thenI’llintroduceyoutoourphotographer.”She
wasstilltalkingdirectlytoJason.Apparently,Iwasjustanafterthought.
Jasongrabbedmyhandandmyheartgavea
smalljump.Iwasgettingusedtotheannoyingthingcatchingmeoffguard;I
kepttellingmyselfthathewasjustaguy,buttheheartwantswhatitwants,
right?Well,minewasdeadsetonthrowingitselfatJason’sfeetuntilhe
pickeditupforhimself.
Loserheartofmine.
Iresistedtheurgetorollmyeyesand
trailedafterthem.
Almosttwofreakinghourslater,wewere
finallyready.Thankfully,theykeptmymakeuponthelighterside,murmuringthat
theywereafteranaturallooksinceIwasalreadya‘nobody’.Okay,maybethey
didn’tuseexactlythosewords,but,trustme,themeaningwasthere.
Whatever.Irockedthenaturallook.
Thenstartedthewardrobedecisions.There
wereracksofclothing.Racks.Theyspentmorethananhourdecidingon
therightwardrobeforus.Atonepoint,theyaskedmeifI’dbeokaywith
beingcoveredupinawhitesheetwhileJasonwashalfnaked,butJasonvetoed
thatideabeforeIcould.Consideringtheyendedupchoosingonlythree
outfits,thewholeprocessseemedabitexcessivetome.Thenagain,whatdidI
know?
Thefirstoutfitweallagreedonwasadress
similartotheoneI’dwornattheLondonpremiere.Nothingtoorisqué,nottoo
muchcleavage,nottoomuchlegs,butdefinitelyalittleplayful.Thesecond
onewasforacasuallooktheyweregoingforwithblackjeansandawhite
t-shirtthatwouldbetiedattheback,showcasingabitofmystomach.
Thethirdoutfit…thatonewasmyfavorite
ofthemall.Itwaswhite,backless,hadcutoutsinthefront,andwasvery
formfitting.
Itwasperfection.
Howitwouldlookonme?Ihadnoidea.
Theywantedmeinthethirdonefirst.A
girlfromtheteamcametomysideandhurriedlyshowedmeintoamakeshift
fittingroomwhereIcouldchangeintothedress.
Igotintothedress,allright,butIdecided
nottogobackoutthere.Whilethedresslookedamazingonthehanger,on
me…itwastoomuch.Thebackwasalmostshowingmybuttcrack,andthe
front…well,thefrontwasshowingtoomuchbreastwithoutshowingtoomuchskin.
WhenIhadaskedforthebra,thegirlhadjustshakenherhead.Icouldalmost
makeoutmynipples.
“Olive?”Jason’svoicecamefromright
outside.“Youready?”
“Jason,”Iwhispered,crossingmyarms
againstmychestasifhecouldseethroughthethickcurtain.Ifhegotalook
atthem,Iknewmynippleswouldgivehimashow.“Ican’tgoouttherelike
this.”
“Whatdoyoumeanlikethis?”
“Imean–”
ThebeigecurtainpartedandJasonwalked
straightintome.
“Whoaa,”hesaid,grabbingontomy
shouldersasIwobbled.Oncewewereokaytostandonourown,heletgoofmy
shouldersandtookastepback.“What’swrong?”
“Jason,”Istartedmiserably,myface
falling.“It’stoomuch.Theywon’tgivemeabraandmybreastsare…”Iopened
myarmstogivehimalookandhiseyesbulged.
“Whoaa,”hesaidagain,hiseyesgetting
bigger.
“Yes,exactly.Andthenmyback…”Iturned
andlookedathimovermyshoulder.“Itlookssobadonme.”
Bythenhisbrowswereuptohishairline
andhiseyesweregluedtomyass.
“Myasslookshuge,doesn’tit?Jason,
please.Idon’twannadothis.I’mnotcutoutforthis.”
Whenhiseyesstayedonmyassandhe
startedrubbinghisforehead,Ifacedhimagainandpulledonthelongsleeves
ofmydress.
“Christ,”hesaid.
“Christ,what?What?!”Iraisedmyvoice.
“They’llmakefunofme.I’mnotfat.It’sjustthisdress…”
Hiseyesfinallymetmineandhetiltedhis
head.“WhatareyoutalkingaboutOlive?”
Irubbedmyeyes.“Youlooklikethat,”I
explained,gesturingtohisbody,thentomine.“AndIlooklikethis…”Icould
feelthetearsgatheringinmyeyes.
Didheneedmoreexplaining?
Hisvoicegentled.“Sweetheart,I’llask
again.Whatareyoutalkingabout?Youlook…youlookfuckingstunning.IfI
could,Iwould…”Hiseyesdroppeddowntomybreasts,butthenquicklybackup.
Hetookasteptowardmeandheldmyfaceinhishands.“Don’tgetmewrong,
I’mnothappyaboutthedresseither,butI’mafraidit’snotforthesame
reasons.Idon’twantanyonetoseeyouinthis.”Anotherglanceatmychest.“It’s
agoodthingtherearemostlywomenoutthere.I’llgocrazyiftheyspend
anotherhourchoosinganotheroutfit.Whatdoyousaywegooutthere,give
themafewgoodshots,andcallitaday,huh?Thenwecanmeetyourfriends
andheadtotheparty.Youwerelookingforwardtothat,remember?Thefaster
wewrapthisuphere,thefasterwe’llgettoyourfriends.”
Withmyfreakout,thesmallpartyhad
completelyslippedmymind.Theproductioncompanyhadcloseddownabarfor
thatnightsothecastandcrewcouldgettogetherandminglebeforethe
filmingstartedafewdayslater.Iwasassumingmostofthemalreadykneweach
other,butwhenJasonaskedifIwantedtogoandmaybetakethegirlswithme,
I’djumpedattheidea.
“YoupromiseIdon’tlookthatbad?”
Somethingflashedinhiseyesandhisvoice
wasgruffwhenheanswered.“Promise.”
HeheldouthishandformeandItookit
withouthesitation.
“We’llstarttheshootonthesecond
floor,”thephotographer,Amelie,saidoncewewerebyherside.“Then
dependingontheshots,we’lltakeafewdownhereormaybeonthestairs.
We’llseehowitgoes.”
Jasonnoddedhisagreementandguidedme
towardthestairswithhishandonthebareskinofmyback.Thewaymyentire
bodyachedwhenhewastouchingme…itwassomethingelse.
Amelieandhersmallteamwentaheadofus,
andIstoppedoncewereachedthebottomofthestairs.
“Jason,”Iwhisperedandtuggedathishand
togethisattentionbeforehecouldstartclimbingup.Therewassomething
differentinhiseyeswhenhewaslookingatme,somethingthatwasmakingmy
heartdofunnythings,butIbrusheditaway.“Ifyoudon’twantmetoflash
Alvinandeveryonewhoisstilldownstairs,thereisnowayIcangoupthese
stairswiththisdress.UnlessIbunchitupand—”
Withoutawarning,Jasonleaneddownand
liftedmeupinhisarms.Iwastoolatetoholdbackmyscreamashestarted
upthestairs.Myhandsflewtomybacktomakesureeverythingwascovered,
butJason’sforearmwasalreadytakingcareofthatlittleproblem.
Everyonewaslookingatus—evenAlvin,who
wastrailingbehindus,hadasmallsmirkplayingonhislipsasIclungto
Jason’sshoulders.Takingadvantageofthesituation,Iclosedmyeyesand
restedmyforeheadagainsthiswarmneck.ItwasallIcoulddotonottrace
hisbulgingbicepswithmyfingers.BeforeIcouldsavorthemoment,wewereat
thetopofthestairsandhegentlyputmebackonmyfeet.IsworeIcould
heareverywomanintheloftreleaseasighandfallalittlebitmoreinlove
withmyhusband.
Jasonclearedhisthroatanddistractedly
reachedformyhandagain.
“Okay.Iwantyouguysinfrontofthis
wall,”Ameliesaid,placingusinfrontoftheconcretewall.
Moreblindinglights,great.
Takingourplace,IlookedatAmeliefor
moreinstructions,butwhatdidshedo?Sheliftedhercameraandstarted
takingpictures.Baffled,IlookedupatJasonandhesmiledatme.
“WhatamIsupposedtodo?”Ihissedat
Jason.ItriedtoforcemylipsintoasmileasIlookedatthecamera,butI
couldonlyguesshowawfulitlooked.
ThenJason’slipswereatmyearandhe
whispered,“You’resupposedtoloveme,mybeautifulwife.”
Tingles…
Mymouthdroppedopen,butJason’s
expressiondidn’tevenwaver.Hiseyesonme,heleanedagainsttheconcrete
wallandpulledmeflushagainsthischest,myfronttohisfront.Noweveryone
hadaclearlookatmybarelycoveredassandnakedback,butatJason’swords
I’dalreadyforgottenallaboutthat.
“What?”Iwhispered,keepingmyeyesonhis
face.
“Perfect,”thephotographerannouncedfrom
somewherebehindme.“Iwanttocaptureyournaturalchemistry.Please,Olive,
trytorelaxabitmoreandforgetaboutus.”
Bequietlady
Jasonburiedhisfaceinmyneckandspoke
softly—onlyformyears.“Theyhavenoideathatwe’remarried,buttheyknow
we’reengaged.”Heliftedhisfacefrommyneckandlookedintomyeyes.“You
shouldlookatmelikeyouloveme,Olive,thewayI’mlookingatyou.”
Saywhat?
Hadhelosthismindinthesmallamountof
timeithadtakenhimtogetdressedinawhiteshirtandblackslacks?
Heliftedhiseyesfrommineandlooked
overmyhead.“Amelie,isitokayifyougiveusafewseconds?”
Theclickingstopped.
Jasonkissedmynose.“You’llhavetobea
littlemoreconvincingifwewantthemtothinkweareinlove.I’llhave
to…touchyou.”
“Touchme?”Isqueaked.
Hiseyesdroppedtomylipsandhenodded.
“Andyou’llhavetotouchmelikeyouactuallylikeme.”Reachingdown,hetook
myhandandputitonhischest.
“Ofcourse.You’reright,”Isaid,barely
recognizingmyownvoice.
“It’llbeoversoon.Youwon’tsufferfor
toolong,don’tworry.”
“Sure.Nosuffering.Oversoon.Gotit.”
“Youready?”
Irelaxedmyshouldersandnodded.Actand
looklikeIlovedhim?Child’splay.
Whenhegavetheokay,theshootstartedup
again.
Jasonstraightenedfromthewallandtook
mewithhim.Hishandstillonmyback,hekeptmeclosetohisbody,my
breastsproperlysquishedbetweenus.
“Olive,canyoulookatthecamerawhile
Jasonisfocusingonyou?”
ItookmyeyesoffJasonandlookedatthe
damncamera.
“Great.Nowplaceyourhandsonhischest
andslightlyleanintohim.”
Iwasalreadyplasteredtotheguy,howwas
Isupposedtoleanintohim?
IchancedaglanceatJasonandmyheart
stuttered.Wasthishowhewouldlookatmeifhewasinlove?Hiseyesheated,
hislipsslightlyparted,hisbreathinguneven.
Iclosedmyeyesandsuckedinabreath.I
coulddothis.Icouldjustletmyselfenjoyhisclosenesswithoutmessingthis
wholethingup.
Iwantedtoplay,too.
NotevenhearingwhatAmeliewassaying,I
slowlyslidmyhandupfromhischestandghostedmyfingersoverhisdark
stubble,rightwherehisdimplewashiding.Hiseyesdarkened,andIwaspulled
evenmorefirmlyagainsthischest.
Whoa!My
nippleslikedthatverymuch.
Tohisquestioninglook,Isaid,“Iwantto
play,too.”
IroseonmytiptoesandstoppedwhenIwas
abreathawayfromJason’slips.“DoIlooklikeI’minlovewithyou?”Iasked
quietly,myeyesfirmlyfocusedonhispartedlips.
TakeitMy
lipsarerightthereKissme.Justonce.
Hedidn’t.
Keepinghisheatedgazeonmine,hekissed
thecornerofmylips.“Welooklikewe’recrazyforeachother,”hewhispered,
hishandtighteningatmyback.Hisheadtiltedforwardandhislipsghostedon
mythroat.“Welooklikewecan’tbeartotakeourhandsoffofeachother.”
Withaquickmaneuver,heturnedmeagainst
thewallandrestedhisforeheadagainstmine.Ihissedandbitmylipwhenthe
coldconcretemetmybareskin.Archingmyback,Iroundedmyarmsaroundhis
neckandmadesuretopushmybreastsagainsthischest.
Ameliewastoourright,makingsureto
captureeveryintimatemoment.
Whatdidsheseethroughthelens?
Couldsheseethatwewereonlyplaying?
Hishandcurledaroundmywaistandhegave
measmirkrightbeforehepulledmylowerhalfagainsthisown.Now,itwas
onlymyheadpressedagainstthewall.
WhenIfelthis…hardon…cock…penis…dangly
bits(asLucywouldsay)…Igroanedandclosedmyeyes.
Sohewasn’texactlyoblivioustome.That
couldcountasagoodstart,right?Icouldworkwiththat.
“Welooklikeweareabouttofuckeach
other,”hewhisperedintomyear.
MyeyesclosedontheirownandIkissed
hischeek,rightwherehisdimplewas;IknewIcouldfinditevenwhenmyeyes
wereclosed.“You’refuckingmerightnow,Jason.”
Becausehewas.Hemightaswellhavepulled
mydressupandenteredmerightthere,rightinfrontofeverybody.Mybody
wassureashellreadytotakehim
Henippedmychinwithhisteeth—nottoo
soft,nottoohard—andIsuckedinabreath.Hedrewhisheadbackandordered
metoopenmyeyesinahuskyvoice.IdidasIwastold.
BecauseIwasagoodgirllikethat.
WhatIsawinhiseyes…Everythingaround
usmeltedaway.Allthelights,Amelie,Alvin,everysinglepersoninthe
buildingmeltedawayanditwasjustus.ItwasjustmyJasonandme.
Notthemoviestar,notJasonThornwhomeverywomanwassalivatingfor.Right
atthatmoment,hewasjustmine.
Mydream
boy.
Mychildhood
crush.
Myfirst
love.
Myonly
love.
Andnowmypretendhusband.
Aneternitypassed.
Ibitmybottomlip.
Hiseyesflared.“Isitthatgood,Olive?”
Hiseyesheldmecaptivejustasmuchashisbodydid.
“Thebest,”Iwhisperedachingly.
Slowlyheloweredhisheadagainand
capturedmybottomlipbetweenhislips.ThenIfelthistonguegentlylicking
thatsaidbottomlip.
Please,insertanotheroneofthose‘My
bodyisreadygifs’.Holymoly!
“Placeyourhandsonhischest,”whispered
Amelienexttous.
Holyshit!Wherehadshecomefrom?Hadsheheardus?
Ididn’tevencare,justdidasIwastold.
Islidmyhandsdownfromhisneck,makingsurethatmyfingertipsgrazedhis
skinbeneathhiscollarandstoppedwhenIfelthiserraticheartbeats.
Iheardafewmoreclicks.
“Thatwasamazingguys.Wardrobechange,”
Amelieannouncedbesideus,breakingourconnection.Iwasstillinhisarms,
hestillhadn’tletmego,butheeasedhimselfoffofme.Iswallowedand
Jason’seyesslowlycooleddown.
Damn,buthewasagoodactor.
Thesamegirlcameandsweptmeawayforawardrobe
change,whichwasprobablyforthebest.
Therestofthephotoshootwastamer,and
insteadofgoingatitonourown,bothJasonandIfollowedAmelie’s
instructions.Itfeltsafertodoso.Igotaforeheadkiss,andanotheroneon
mycheek.
Whenwesatdownfortheinterviewandtold
themthatwewereactuallymarried,thelooksontheirfaceswerepriceless.
ChapterTwenty-FiveJason
WehadaquickdinnerwhereLucyandOlive
managedtomakemelaughmultipletimeswiththeirstoriesbeforeweheadedto
thebarwherethecastandcrewweremeetingup.Morethanaparty,itwasa
waytoreconnectwitheachotherandgettoknowthenewpeoplebeforefilmingate
upallourtime.IfOlivewassadthatCharlottecouldn’tmakeit,shedidn’t
showit,butIcouldseethatsomethingaboutherfriend’sabsenceinherlife
wastroublingher.Ididn’taskquestions.
WhileLucyhadpreferredjeansandsome
numberwithalotofcleavage,Olivewaswearingasparkly,metallicgrayskirt
withacasualwhiteshirt.Herhairwasstilldampfromtheshowershehadtaken
aftertheshootandshebarelyhadanymakeupon,andshelookedperfectinmy
eyes.
Stillreelingfromourphotoshoot,Iwas
havingtroublelookingawayfromher.Everylittledetailseemedtomatter
somehow.Thewayhercheekswereflushedfromlaughingsomuch,thewayIcaught
herlookingatmeunderherlashes,thewayhereyessparkledwheneverI
reachedouttoholdherhand.Itwasbecomingimpossibletonotnoticeevery
littlethingabouther.
ImpossibletonotlikeeverythingIwas
seeing.
Ihadbeenforcingmyselftosleepinmy
ownroomeversinceshehadcriedinmyarmsbeforecomingonmyfingersthat
night,butmypatiencewasstartingtowearthin.
Iwassecondsawayfrompryingherlegs
openandtakingherformyself.Everyinnocentlook,everyinnocenttouch,
everysecretsmile…everythingjustpushedusclosertoourinevitable.
Chuggingdownmysecondbeerofthenight,
IkepttrackofOliveandLucyfromthecornerofmyeye.Iwantedtogiveher
alonetimewithherfriendbecauseevenIcouldseehowmuchtheyweremissing
eachother.Theyhadn’tstoptalkingeversinceLucyhadsteppedfootinthe
car.Ihadn’tmeantformyscheduletokeepherawayfromherfriends,butin
mylineofwork,yougotusedtonothavingyourfreedom.
Theyweredoingtequilashotsandchasing
themwithbeers.Shedidn’tlooklikeshewasdrunk,andshecertainlywasn’t
actinglikeit,butIcouldn’tbesure.Iftheyhadanotherroundofshots,I
wasgoingtointerfere.AsmuchasIwouldhavelovedtodealwithdrunkOlive
again,Iwantedhertobestonecoldsoberwhenwegotbackhome.
Anhourintotheparty,afewofthecrew
membershaddecidedtosetupthekaraokemachineandproceededtosingtheir
heartsout,becomingthenight’sdefactoentertainment.Everynowandthen,
theywerehoppingbackontothestagetotortureeveryone’sears.Otherthan
them,nooneelsehadpickedupthemic,whichwasablessingifyouaskedme.
Iwassittingatthebarwiththeassistant
director,TylerCameron,aguyIhadworkedwithbeforeandrespected,whenIfirst
heardOlive’svoicethroughthespeakers.
“Helloeveryone,I’mOlive.”Shecoughed
andtappedthemicwithherfinger.
Someoneletoutaloudwhistle.
“Ibelievethat’syourwife,Jason,”Tyler
said,lookingoverhisshoulder.HewasthefirstguyatthepartythatI’d
toldthatweweremarried.Tylerwasn’taguywhowouldrepeatittoanyone
else,especiallyafterI’daskedhimnotto.
Wife.Yes.Right.Iwasmarried.
Iturnedinmyseattofacethestage.
“Thatsheis,”Isaid,myeyestakinginthecurvesofherbody.Leaningback,
Irestedmyelbowonthebarandtookagulpofmybeer.
Therewasasmileinhervoicewhenshe
said,“IjustlostabettomyfriendLucythere.”Shepointedtoabeaming
Lucyandgotawhistlefromher.“Soastheloser,I’msupposedtomakeyour
earshurtforalittlewhile.Ihopeyoucanbearwithme.It’saslowone,so
youshouldbeokay.”
“Ishervoiceanygood?Idon’tthinkIcan
handleanymorescreechingforthenight,”Tylersaidashegavehisfullattention
toOlive.
“Oh,she’sgood.Don’tworry.”
“Youlookokay,Jason,”hesaid,eyeingme
cautiouslybeforeOlivestartedhersong.
ItookmyeyesawayfromOliveasshetried
togetonthebarstool.“Whatdoyoumean?”Iasked.
“IknowbetterthantobelieveanythingI
readinthetabloids,butafterallthosephotosandvideos…well,youlooked
likeyouwereabombreadytogooffatthewrongmove.I’mgladyou’reback
withus,andifsheisthereason…well,goodforyou.”
Insteadofansweringhim,Igruntedand
gaveallmyattentionbacktoOlive.
Asalways,shehadn’tbeenabletogeton
thebarstool,sowhenshestartedEdSheeran’ssong“KissMe”,shewasstanding
up,onehandwrappedtightlyaroundthemic,theotherrestingonthebarstool.
Afterawhile,whenthesongpitchedhigher
andhersweetvoicechargedthroughthespace,everyoneseemedtobeshocked
intosilence.Tylerspokeupagain.“Sheseemstobegoodatalotofstuff,
yourwife.”
Inodded;thatwasallIcouldmanageat
thatmoment.
Somewhereinthemiddleofthesong,after
hereyeshadfinallyfoundmineinthecrowd,hervoiceturnedsoftandhusky
asshegentlyorderedmetokissher.IheldhereyesbecauseIneededthat
connectionsinceitfeltlikewewerebusyfallinginlovewitheachother.She
wasseeingme,andmaybeforthefirsttime,Iwasseeinghertoo.Hervoice
calledtomeasmuchashereyesdid,butthenshehidthosebeautifuleyes
fromme,andIfoundmyselfcrossingtheroomtogettoher.
Iwantedhertolookatme.
IwantedhertoseemewhenIwas
kissingher.
AndIneededhertokissmeback.
Whenthesongendedandsheopenedher
eyes,Iwasstandingrightinfrontofher.Shesmiledatmeasifshe’dknown
shewouldfindmetherewaitingforher.
Takinganotherstep,Iclosedthespace
betweenus.Pryingthemicoutofherhands,Ilaiditonthebarstool.Myhand
curledaroundherneckandIasked,“Doyouseeme,Olive?”
Thequestionwasimportanttome,her
answerevenmoreso.Itwouldn’tbethemoviestarJasonThornkissingherinto
oblivioninafewseconds.Itwouldbeme.Jason.Herfriend.Themanwhowanted
tomakeherhis.
Ashiverwentthroughherbodyasshe
liftedashakyhandtoputonmycheek.Hervoicewasnothingmorethana
whisperwhensheansweredme.“I’vealwaysseenjustyou,Jason.”
Thenmylipswereonhers,andherlips
wereonmine.Wekissedlongenoughtocoveryears.Infrontofeveryone,her
lipsbecamemineandItookherbreathformyself,becauseIneededitmore
thanshedid.
Iwasawareofthewhistlesandallthe
applause,butIcouldn’thear,couldn’tfeelanythingbeyondthewomaninmy
arms.Inmymind,itwasjustthetwoofus.Standinginthemiddleofadark
room,wewereineachother’sarms,wherewehadlockedourselvesinandtossed
awaythekeywithoutasecondthought.Shetiltedherheadandmytongueslid
deeperintohermouth.
Itwasn’tenough.
Burningwiththeneedtoconsumeher,I
grippedherwaistandleanedmybodyoverhers,forcinghertoarchherback,
andkissedhermoredesperately.
Harder.
Deeper.
IputeverythingI’dstartedtofeelfor
herinthosepastfewweeksintothekissandoffereditbacktoher.
Ourfirstkiss.
Iwantedittobegoodforher,changeher
worldinsomeway.Iwantedittobeherbestfirstkissofallthefirst
kissesshehadexperienced.
Itwasmyfirsttimetouchingherheart
afterall;sheneededtoremembereverysecondofit.
Herarmswentaroundmyneckandherfingers
slidintomyhair.
Igroaned.
Shewhimperedintome,herbodyshaking
withfinetremors.
Shewouldrememberitall.
WhenIwantedmorefromher,Islidmyhand
upandreachedforherponytailtopullherheadback,justenoughsoshecould
catchherbreathwhileIkissedtheedgesofhermouthwhereshehidthose
secretsmiles,theonesshesavedforwhenshewaswritingonherlaptop,lost
inadifferentworldshewascreatingfromthestart,brickbybrick.Iwanted
toownthosesecretsmilesjustasmuchIwantedtoownherbeautifulheart.Iwanted
tobethereasonfortheirexistence.
Whensheignoredeveryoneandcapturedmy
mouthforherself,Iwentwillingly,givinghermoreofmytongueandtakingjust
asmuchfromher.
ThenIkissedheragain.
Andagain.
Andagain.
Andagain.
Ikeptoneofmyhandsonthebackofher
headandlettheotheroneslowlycupherasssoIcouldpullhermorefirmly
againstmyrapidlylengtheningandthrobbingcock.
Ifwehadn’tbeenclingingtoeachother,
thehungerIfeltforher,thewaymyworldwasspinning…itwouldhavebrought
medowntomyknees.
Myheartwasreadytobehersifshewanted
totakeitforherselfandkeepitforaneternity.
Icouldn’tstop.
Notwhenmybodywasachingtofeelher
handsonme.
Notwhenhermouthwasgivingmesomething
Iwasdesperatetohavefromherandonlyher,eventhoughIhadn’trealizedI
neededit.
Especiallynotwhenshewasclingingtome
asifIwasbreathinglifeintoher.
Thenshewaspullingawayandlookingatme
withlustandalittlebitofsurpriseinhereyes.
“Hello,”shewhisperedhoarsely.Inipped
atherlipsandshegavemeoneofhersecretsmiles.
Myfirstone.
“Yousuretookyourtime,”shesaid,hiding
herfaceagainstmyneckassoonasthewordsleftherdelectablemouth.Her
warmbreathwaswhisperingherlongingagainstmyskin.
Ignoringtheroomfullofpeoplearoundus,
Iasked,“You’vebeenwaitingformetokissyou?”
Shecameoutfromhidingandlookedintomy
eyeswiththesweetestgrinonherface.“EversinceIwasalittlegirl.”
Kissingmeonthecheek,sheadded,“Thankyouformakingmydreamcometrue.”
Myheartachedwithloveforalittlegirlwho
insomewayshadalwaysbelongedtome.“Wasitworththewait?”Iasked,my
voicegruff,myheartthunderinginmychest.
Shescruncheduphernose,hereyesfocused
onmylips.“Thejuryisstillout.Youthinkwecantryagain,maybe?”
“Guys?”Lucywhisperedurgently,justbelow
thestage.
Olivestiffenedinmyarmsforamomentas
ifshe’djustrememberedthebarfullofpeopleweweregivingashow,butI
caressedherbackandshemeltedagainstme.ThenwebothglancedatLucy.
“I’mfuckinglovingwhatisgoingonhere”—she
motionedbetweenOliveandme—“butpeoplehavebeenfilmingthewholething.
Sinceyoulooklikeyou’rereadytogoateachotheronstage,Ithoughtmaybe
you’dwanttoknowbeforeyoustartlosingyourclothes.”
Shit!
“Weshouldleave,”IsaidtoOliveand
quicklygotherdownoffthestage.Nomatterhowquicklyweleft,Iknewwe
wouldbethetalkofthenight.Withthevideosandthenewsofourmarriage,
maybeevenmoresointhecomingdays.
ChapterTwenty-SixOlive
IletJasonpullmebehindhimasweexited
thebarandcamefacetofacewithahandfulofpaparazziswarmingus.The
biggestgrinI’deversportedinmylifefelloffmyfaceandIreachedfor
Lucy’shandsoshewouldn’tfallbehindastheflashesstartedtogooffinches
awayfromourfaces.Jason’shandtightenedonmineandheslowedhispace,
fallingastepbehindustoherdustowardtheprivateparkinglot.Iglanced
atLucyandsawthatshewaskeepinghereyesdownandtryingtokeepupwith
ouralmostrunningpaceinherspikedhighheels.
Thepapskeptaskingmequestionsinstead
ofJason,andIfeltmypanicspikewhentheystartedtocloseinonus.When
oneofthem—ablondguywiththecompletesurferlook—gotalittletooclose
formycomfortandcausedmetoalmostknockLucydowninmyhastetogetaway
fromhim,Jasonletgoofmyhandandshovedthepaparazzowithanot-so-gentle
pushonhisshoulder.IletLucypullmecloser,butJasonhadstoppedwalking
tofacetheman,sowehadtostop,too.
“Don’tputyourhandsonme,man,”theguy
saidwithahalfgrowlasheloweredhiscamera.“Justdoingmyjobhereand
takingafewpicsoftheprettyladies.”
WashegoadingJason?
“Idon’tcarewhatthefuckyourjobis.I
don’twantyougettinginherface.”
IcurledmyhandaroundJason’sarmand
triedtoforcehimtokeepwalkingbeforethingsescalatedbetweenthem.
Thejerksmirkedandsaid,“Easeupman,
maybesheneedssomeonetogetinherface.Ihearyou’renotquite
doingitforher.”
Afewoftheothersletoutlowchuckles
andkepttapingthewholething.Theywereeatingitallup.Jasontookastep
forward,andthenanotherashismuscleskepttensingunderneathmyhandwhere
Iwastryingnotsosuccessfullytoholdhimback.
“Olive,dosomethingorhe’sgoingtolose
it,”Lucymurmuredurgentlyinmyear.
“Jason,”IsaidsharplywhenIsawhis
handshadballedintofists.“Weneedtogo.”
Hiseyesstillonthesmirkingidiotand
hisjawset,hegavemeasharpnodandstartedforwardagain.Thepapskept
followingusandeventhoughtheywerekeepingtheirdistancethistimearound,
thequestionskeptcirclingaroundmyreactiontohislacklusterkissatthe
premiere.
Iwashalftemptedtostopwalkingandjust
flingmyselfinhisarmssowecouldhavearepeatofourfirstkiss—obviously
theonewe’djusthadthatnight,becausetherewasnowayIwasacceptingthe
premierekissasmyfirstfromhim—andshutthemthehellup,butgettingout
ofthereasfastaspossibleseemedlikeabetteridea.
MaybeI’dhaveachancetomaulhimin
publicsomeothertime?
Reachingthecaranddrivingawayfromthe
smallcrowddidn’thelpJasonloosenupatall.AsmuchasLucydidherbestto
lightenourmoods,Jasondidn’tuttermorethanafewwords.
AssoonaswedroppedLucyoff,Jason
reachedforhisphoneandcalledhispublicistwithoutspeakingawordtome.
“Megan.Yeah.Sorryforinterrupting.I’mcalling
togiveyouaheadsup.AfewpeoplefromthecrewtookvideosofOliveandme
kissingonstage.Yeah,wewereatthecrewparty.Fine.”
IquicklyrealizedthatIdidn’tlikethem
doingdamagecontrolaboutsomethingthatwassodamnnearmagicaltome.
Rubbingmyhandsonmythighs,Iturnedmyheadandwatchedthecarspassingby
us.
Iwonderedwheretheyweregoing,whothey
weregoingtoreachattheendoftheirjourney.Maybetheyweren’tgoing
anywhere,justsailingthroughlife.
You’renotevenmakinganysense,Olive.
Shutupyourbabblingmind.
“Yeah,Iknow,”Jasonclipped.“Wedidn’t
promiseexclusivitytothemagazinewiththemarriagething.Sure.Goaheadand
makeacommentonthevideosthen.No.That’snotall.”
Hepausedbeforelettingoutabigsigh.I
feltlikeanintruderlisteninginontheirconversation,butitwasn’tlikeI
couldgetawaytogivethemprivacyeither.
Thebestdayofmylifewasslowlybeingruined
bydamagecontrol.
“Someonemusthavetippedoffthepaps
becauseasmallgroupofthemwaswaitingforuswhenweleftearly.Oneof
themgotalittletooclosetoOlivesoIgavehimashove.”
Iclosedmyeyesandrestedmyheadonthe
window.
“No.Hedamnneartrippedher,”Jasonshouted
suddenly.Despitebeingrightnexttohim,Icouldn’thearwhatMeganwas
saying.Icouldhearherrisingvoiceallright,butIcouldn’tmakeouther
words.
“I’mnotapologizing,”Jasongrowledat
her.“Iwon’thaveanyonecrowdherjustbecausesheistoopolitetotellthem
tobackoff.Icalledtogiveyouaheadsup.Nowyouknow.Dowhateveryou
wantwithit.”
Withthoselastwords,hehunguponher.
Fortherestoftheride,hedidn’tspeak
tome,soIdidn’tthinkitwouldbeagoodideatoforceaconversationon
him.Maybehewasalreadyregrettingkissingme?Ormaybehehadbeenplaying
andIwastoodensetonoticewewereacting?Couldhebethatcruel?Ormaybe
hewasangryaboutthepapsmentioningthephotofromthepremierethatmadeso
manyheadlines…
Ifhewasangryaboutthat,Ididn’tknow
howtofixit.I’dwaitedforhimtosaysomethingaboutitthedaythepicture
hadgoneonline,butIwastoochickenshittomentionitonmyown.Whenhe
didn’tbringitupandchosetoactlikenothingwaswrong…well,whypokethe
bearright?However,maybeifIapologized,hewouldsoftenatleastenoughto
speakagain.
Gaah…Hewas
makingbothmyheartandmyheadhurtwithhisloudsilence.
Wespottedthepaparazzilyinginwaitin
frontofhishousethemomentheturnedthecornerontohisstreet.
“Damnit!”Jasongrowled,speedingup
towardthegatebeforetheycouldgetbetweenthecarandthegateandblock
ourentrance.
Ishieldedmyfacewithmyhandasthey
startedtolightuptheirflashestogetaglimpseintothecar.Ihadnoidea
iftheycouldseethroughtheblackwindowsornot,butinanycaseIwasn’tin
themoodtoforceasmile.
Jasonmanagedtogetusinwithoutany
problems.
“Eitherthereissomethingnewgoingon
thatwedon’tknowabout,ortheyknowwe’remarried,”Jasonsaidashedrove
thecarupthedriveway.
Soundlessly,Inoddedinagreement.
Aftertheshortrideup,whenwewere
safelytuckedawayfromunwantedeyes,Ijumpedoutassoonasthecarwas
parked.
Jasonhadgivenmemyownkeytothehouse,
butIstillwaitedforhimtoletusin.Nomatterwhathesaid,thislittle
palacewashis,notmine.Iwasmorelikeaglorifiedroommatethanawife
WhenJasoncameupnexttome,Iavoided
eyecontactandwaitedforhimtounlockthedoor.
Truthbetold,Ihadplannedtoruntomy
roomandhidethereforafewmonths,butassoonaswewalkedinandJason
closedthedoorbehindus,hegrabbedmyhandandpinnedmetothewall.
Mybreathcameoutinawhooshasmyback
hitthewall,hard.
“Jason,”Igasped,shocked.
Hecapturedmyfaceinhishandsandmy
heartskyrocketedwhenIsawthelookonhisface.
“Doitagain,”hegrowled.
Myeyesonhis,mybreathinghard,Iquietly
asked,“Dowhat,Jason?”
“Kissmelikethat.Again.”Italmost
soundedlikeathreat.
Iswallowedandlookeddownathislips.
“Thatwasn’tme,”Iwhispered,myvoicebarelyfunctioning.“Youkissedme.”
Ifistedmyhandsandpressedthemagainstthewall.Mybodywasshakingwithyears
ofwantandneedforhim.
God,I’dwantedthisboytolookatmelike
hewaslookingatmeatthatmomenteversinceI’dlearnedabouthowaboy
shouldkissagirl.Hewasmyperfectguy.
“Oh,no,sweetheart,”hesaidasheranhis
noseagainstmyneck,breathingmein.Hewasbreathingmein!“Thatwasallyou.”
HislipsghostedovermineandItooka
quick,sharpbreath.Whenhebackedoffaninchortwo,takinghiswarmthaway,
Ifoundmyselfgoingafterhimlikeapuppetbeingplayed.
Hetiltedhishead.“Kissme,Olive,”he
repeatedagain,hiseyeslockedonmine.
Starvedforhim,Ilaunchedmyselfintohis
arms.MyarmswentaroundhisneckandIroughlypulledhimdowntomylips.
Thatwasalltheinvitationheneeded.Hepushedmebackagainstthewalland
letmetakewhatIwanted.
WhenItiltedmyheadtodeepenthekiss
andtastedhistongueonmine,hegroaned.Bendingdown,hishandreachedunder
myskirtforthecurveofmyassandhehoistedmeupagainstthewall.
Isquealedintohismouth,buthedidn’t
breakourkiss.ThatwasthepointwherehetookoverandgavemesomethingI’d
neverhadwithanyotherguy.
Iwrappedmylegsaroundhiswaistandheld
ontighter,threadingmyfingersintohishairandpullingonthemslightly.
Hegroaned,asoundthatwassoroughand
deliciousthatitvibratedthroughmeandcausedevenmoreheattopoolbetween
mylegs,anareathatwasnowinclosecontactwithhisjean-cladcock.I
tightenedmylegsaroundhim,dyingtogetalittlemorefrictionagainsthis
hardness.AsifheknewwhatIneeded,hishandstightenedonmyassandhe
thrusthishipsrightwhereIneededhim.Pronto!
HebrokeourkissandItookabiggulpof
airashegrazedmyjawlinewithhisteethandthenmoveddownovermythroat.
Hisbreathingwasjustaserraticasminewas.Whenhegavemeanotherthrust,
hittingthe—perfect—spot,Igaspedandthrewmyheadback,hittingthewall
withathudthatprobablycausedmetolosemorethanafewbraincells.
Beingkissedbyhimwaswortheveryone.
Thenhislipswereonmineandsuddenlywe
weremoving.IheldhisfaceinmyhandsandtookasmuchasIcouldfromhis
lips.Ididn’tevencarewherehewastakingmeaslongashekeptkissingme
likethat.
Whenmyasshitsomethingsolid,Iopened
myeyesandlookedaroundwhileJason’shandswereworkingtogetoffmy
pantiesundermyskirt.WewereinthekitchenareaandIwassittingonthe
kitchenisland.
Hot!
Iwasabouttoscorebigtime!
Thepantiesgotcaughtupinmyshoesand
hepracticallysnappedthemoff,startlinganothergaspfromme.Thelights
comingfromhisbackyardwereenoughformetoseehisdarkeyesburningwith
heat.Heatforme.Hisbighandskeptcaressingmythighs,butotherwisehelet
mehavemylookaswepanted,outofbreath.
Hiseyesstillonme,helickedhislips,
slippedhishandsinbetweenmythighs,andspreadthemwideopen,makingspace
forhisbody.
Ileanedforwardandrestedmyforehead
againsthis.OureyeswereopenandIwasfallingsodeepwithhim—noturning
back,doneforlifedeep.
“WillyoubewetformewhenItouchyou?”
hewhisperedagainstmymouth.Hisfingersweretoyingwithme,caressingan
imaginarytrailfrommykneeuptowardmypussy,neverquitetouching,but
gettingtoodamncloseformetositabsolutelystill.
Myheartbeatingoutofmychest,Inodded.
“Sowet,”Iwhispered.
“Good,”hemutteredinathickvoice,and
finally,finallyhisfingertipstouchedmerightthere
Myeyesclosed.Imoanedandthrewmyhead
back.
Hishandleftmeandhecuppedmyneck,
bringingmyforeheadbacktorestagainsthis.
“No,baby.Iwantyoutolookintomyeyes
whenImakeyoucome.Iwantyoutoremember.”
AsifIcouldeverforgethimtouching
me…
Hegavemehisfingeragain,butthistime,
hedidn’tcaressorplay.Hepushedtwoofhisfingersinsideme,literally
takingmybreathaway,andpressedhisthumbfirmlyagainstmyclit.
Mylegsshaking,Iclosedmyeyesandtook
adeepbreath.Hewasn’tmovingandIneededhimtomovereallybad.Itwasn’t
goingtotakemorethanafewsecondsformetocome.AfewthrustsandIwas
goingtoloseit.
“Please,”Iwhisperedandcuppedhisface,staring
intohiseyeslikehewantedmetodo.
“Youwantme?”heasked,hisvoice
unrecognizable.
“Yes,”Isighed.I’dwantedhimforyears.
I’dlongedforhimwhenhewassleepinginmybrother’sroom,soclosebut
stillfaraway.Thenwhenyearshadpassed,I’dlongedforhimsecretly,watching
hismovies,holdinghimclosetomyheartevenwhenhewasimpossibleformeto
have.“Yes,”Irepeatedwithmorefeeling.
“Thenkissme,Olive.”
Thistime,Ididn’thesitate.Holdinghis
facetomylips,Ikissedhimsoftly.Hisfingersgavemeasmallthrustand
histhumbrubbedmyclit,justassoftlyasmykiss.Ihookedmylegsaround
hiswaistandpulledhimclosertome.Tiltinghisheadwithmyhands,Ikissed
himdeeper.Itwasstillsoft,butIthrustmytonguedeeperintohismouthto
tasteallofhim,toplaywithhistongue.
Hisfingersstartedthrustingdeeper,my
wetnessseepingoutofmeallaroundhisfingers,andImewledintohismouth
asItriedtopushmyhipsforwardtotakemoreofhim.
Whenhehitaspecificspot,Itoremy
mouthawayfromhisandheldontohisshoulders,myfingerscurlingin.
“Holycrap,”Iwhispered,spreadingmy
thighswider.“Jason.”
Warmthstartedtocreepallovermybody,
everyinchofmyskineruptingingoosebumps.Iwasalmostthere,soItold
himexactlythat.
“I’msoclose,”Imurmured,myeyesclose.
HeaddedanotherfingerintomeandI
archedmyback.
Sofuckingclose.
Itwasgoingtobeoneofthoselong,
intenseorgasms.Nothingcrazy,atleastnothingtoocrazy,butstill
oneofthosesweet,I’mburningalloverinagoodwaykindoforgasms.
Hegavemehisfingerswithslow,deep
thrustsashisthumbghostedovermyclit,makingmepracticallylosemymind
Lettinggoofhisshoulders,Ileanedback
andproppedmyselfonmyhands,openingmylegsevenwider,askingformore.
“Jason,please,”Imumbledwhenhedidn’t
quickenhispaceandletmefly
“Youneedithard?”heaskedwithalow
growltohisvoice.
Ibitmylipandnodded.
“Tellme,”heordered.“Tellmewhatyou
like.”
Iopenedmyeyesandgazedathim,barely
holdingmyselftogether.Tohearthefrictionhisfingerswerecausing,toknow
thathewasawareofhowwetIwasforhim…KnowingIwasblushing,justa
little,IspokewhenIwasstillgettinglostinhisintensegaze.“Harder.
Faster.”
Thatwasallheneeded.Hisfingerswent
deeper,histhumbpressingharder.Asoftmoanescapedfrommylips,mixedwith
hisname,andIfeltithappen.Itstartedrightbetweenmylegsandspread
throughmyentirebody.MytoestwitchedandIgroanedlouderasJasonkeptthrusting
indeeper,stretchingmeopenandpullingmoreandmoreoutofme.
ItlastedlongerthananyotherorgasmI’d
everhad,anditwasjustwithhisfingers.
Iwasmorethanreadytotryouthiscock.
WhenIfounditinmetoopenmyeyesand
lookatJason,hewasasighttosee.
Breathuneven,eyesblazing,hekept
workingmeuntilthelasttremorsleftmybody.Thenhetookhisfingersoutof
meandhishandwentbehindmyback,pullingmetohiswaitinglips.
Hiskisswassavage.Webiteachother,licked
eachother,completelydevouredeachother.Wetookasmuchaswegave.Itwas
amazing.Thebestofthebest.Ithoughtitcouldn’tgetanybetter.
Twistingmyhairaroundhishand,hepulled
myheadback.Iknewmycheekswereflushedandmylipswereswollen,butI
neededmore.Iwashungryformoreofhim.
Iletmyhandslowlydropfromhisshoulders
tohischest,thentowardthethickbulgeinhisjeans,thebulgeIcould
barelymakeoutinthedark.Whenherealizedwheremyhandwasgoing,hecaught
mywristandstoppedme.
“Notdonewithyouyet.”
Withthosewords,hetookoffmyshirtand
gazedatmyfullbreastsslightlyspillingoutofmybra.
Hishandsreachedformybreasts,buthe
didn’ttakethebraoffofme.Instead,hecuppedthem,slightlyliftingtheir
weightupasifhewassizingthem.
“Iwanttodosomanythingstoyou,
Olive,”hesaidwhenhecouldtakehiseyesoffmybreasts.
“Iwantyoutodosomanythingstome,”I
whisperedback,myheartpickingupspeed.
Hequirkedhiseyebrow.“Doyou,now?”
“Yes.”
“Good.I’lldoeverysinglethingthatis
possibletodotoyou.Isthatgoodforyou,littleone?”
Mybraintingled.Iwasstartingtolove
howhesoundedwhenhewascallingme‘littleone’.Inodded.Findingalittlecourage,
Iadded,“Iwanteverything,Jason.”
Hiseyeswenthalf-closedandhislips
kickedupattheedges.“AndIwantjustyou,Olive.Liedown,then.Youmadea
messonmyfingersandIneedtocleanyouup.”
Iflushedandhesitatedforasecond.Should
Iapologize?
“Comehere,sweetheart,”hesaid,noticing
myreluctancetoliedown.
WhenIwasinhisfaceagain,hecuppedmy
cheekandkissedmytinglinglips,coaxingmetoopenuptohim.
“Willyouletmetasteyou?Becauseyour
scentismakingmecrazyandIneedtolickyouupprettybad.”hewhispered
intomymouth.
WhileIwasdistracted,hisfingerspulled
downthecupsofmybraandhetwistedmynipplewithonehand,causingmeto
groanandwhimper.
Whenourlipsparted,hespokegruffly.
“Liedownforme,baby.”
Idid.Alittletimidlymaybe,butmyback
stillhittheisland.
Jasonspreadmylegsopenandstareddown
atme,hiseyesmovingovermybreasts,andthenslowlydown.
Henudgedmypussyopenwithtwoofhis
knuckles,spreadingmywetnessallover.Thenwithaslowslideofhisfingers,
hespreadwhatwasleftonthemovermynipples.
Whenhismouthclosedaroundthehardpeak
andhesucked,myeyesflutteredclosedandanelectricshockranthroughmy
body,causingmetotwitch.Whilehewasstilldevouringmybreasts,licking
andbiting,hegentlyliftedmylegsandpulledthemoverhisshoulder,letting
thebacksofmykneesrestonhisshoulders.
Thenhishandsheldmyhipsandhishead
dippedlower,bitingandlickingonhisway.Whenhehadfinallyreachedhis
goal,Iwasaquiveringmess.
“Suchaprettypussy,”hewhispered,his
hotbreathonmysensitivefleshdoingallkindsofthingstome.
Thenhelickedme,frombottomtotop,
pressinghistonguefirmlyagainstmyclitandthenswirlingitaround.I
archedmyneckandswallowed.
Lookingatmeashedroppedsmallkisseson
theinsideofmythigh,heasked,“Howmanymenhaveyoulettouchyoulike
this?”
“What?”
“Howmanymenhavegottentoseeyoulike
this?Allwet,hot,andpink?”
Dammit…
Againwiththeblushing.IhaddatedthreeguysintotalandapartfromMarcus,
youcouldbarelycallthemmen.OnewasfromhighschoolafterJasonhadleft
us.TheotheroneI’donlydatedforafewmonthsmyfirstyearincollege.Out
ofallofthem,Marcuswastheonlyonewhohadgonedownonme,sohowdidI
evenanswerhisquestion?
Hequirkedhiseyebrow.“You’recounting?”
Hismouthloweredandhesuckedmyclit.
Mybodyquiveredagain.
Ishookmyhead.“No.Ijust…I’mnotsure
howtoanswer.”
Hepushedasinglefingerinsidemeand
waitedformyanswer.
“Onlyonewentdownonme,”Isaidsoftly.
“Marcus,”heguessedmenacingly.
Iwasn’tgoingtoanswerthat
Headdedanotherfinger.“Jason,”I
whispered,aneworgasmalreadyloomingahead.
“Fromnowon,hedoesn’tgettotoucha
singlehaironyourhead,”hegrowledfrombetweenmylegsandstartedlapping
upallmyjuices.Mybodyshudderedandmyhandsreachedforhishair,my
fingersroughlygrabbinganythingthatwaslongenoughtoholdonto.
Icouldn’tdecideifIwasmoreturnedon
bythefactthattherewasalegitimatepossibilityofhimbeingjealousof
Marcusorbyhowgoodhewaswithhistongue—probablyahealthymixofthetwo.
Hislicksbecomefirmerandhestartedtoswirl
histonguearoundmyclitashisstubbledidwonders,scrapingagainstmy
tenderflesh.Liftingmyhipsuptohismouth,Imoanedandmyfingers
tightenedinhishair,holdinghimdown.
RealizingwhatIwasdoing,Iquicklylet
goandJasonstoppedwhathewasdoing.
I’mtellingyou,hewasmakingmagic
“Don’thesitatewithme.Notnow,Olive,”
hesaid,liftinghisheadfrombetweenmylegs.Hislipswereallredand
glistening.Iwantedtodevourhim,andIwasplanningto.“Grabontomyhair
anddowhateverthehellyouwanttodotome.”
Ovariesexplosion!
Iliftedmyhandsandthreadedmyfingers
throughhishairagain,slightlygripping.Hiseyesheldminecaptivethe
entiretime.IhadafeelingheneededtohavemeasmuchasIneededtohavehim,
whichwasmind-boggling.
HistonguestrokedthroughmyfoldsandI
startedtohavetroublekeepingmyhipsdown.Heyankedmeforward,myass
almostrestingontheedge.
Whenhecoveredmyclitwithhismouthand
startedtosuckinpulses,Icriedouthisname,pushingandpullingathis
head.
Itwastoomuch.
“Jason…Ican’t…oh,god…youhavetostop.”
Hepushedtwoofhisfingersbackinside,curled
themup,andfoundmyG-spot.Ifellovertheedgeagain,justlikethat.Legs
twitching,bodyshaking,mycriesringinginmyears…I’dliketothinkitwasa
beautifulsight,butIknewitwasn’t.Findingpurchaseonhisshoulders,I
liftedmyhipsupanddown,tryingtoprolongitasmuchasIcould.
WhenitwasalldoneandIstopped
contractingaroundhisfingers,allmyboneshadfallenoutofmybodyandI
hadbecomeaveryhappynoodle.
Jason’sheadliftedfrombetweenmylegs,
butnotbeforehegavemeone,last,slowlick,sendingaslighttremor
throughoutmybody.WhenIfelthislipsagainstmine,Ismiledlazilyand
suckedhistongueintomymouth.
Hemoanedandletmeplaywithhismouth
foraslongasIwanted.
ThenIwasinhisarmsagain,mylegsbarely
wrappedaroundhisback,onearmcirclinghisneck,theothergrippinghishair
inatightfist,andweweremoving.
Iwasashighasakite,alldopeyand
smiley.IdoubtIwould’vemindedifhe’dtakenmetohellinhisarms.
WhenmybackhitasoftmattressandI
bounced,Iopenedmyeyestoseethathehadbroughtmetohisroom.
Therewasjustenoughlightcomingfrom
outsideformetowatchhimtakeoffhisshirtandthengoforhisjeans.While
hekepthiseyesonme,Iproppedmyselfuponmyhandsandchosetowatchhim
undressforme.
Thoseabs…
SecondOvariesexplosion.
IhadaverydetailedplanofhowIwas
goingtolickandkisseveryline.
“Moveup,Olive,”hesaid,gesturingwith
hischinbeforehetookoffhisbriefs.
Anditwasagoodthing,too,becauseI
wasn’tsureifIcouldwatchhimtakeoffhisbriefsandnotsaysomethingthat
wouldsurelyembarrassme,soIpushedmyselfuptowardthepillows.Themoment
Iwassettleddown,Jasonwascrawlingontopofme,hishandsoneitherside
ofmyface.
Whenourgazesmet…
Iwasagoner.
Hiseyesstillstaringdownatme,he
reachedtohisleftandopenedadrawer,presumablytakingoutacondom—I’d
alreadygonethroughhisroomandknewthat’swherehehadafewofthemlying
around.
Heputtheedgeofthefoilpacketinmy
mouthandpulleditawaywhenIhaditbetweenmyteeth.
“Putitonme,Olive,”hemurmuredagainst
myneck,droppingthecondomonmystomach.
HowwasIsupposedtomovemyarmsorany
partofmybodywhenhewaskissingandlickingmyskinlikethat?WhenI
didn’tmove,henudgedmyneckwithhisnose.
“Please,Olive.Icanbarelyholdit
together.”
Withshakyhands,Ireachedforthecondom
Icouldn’tsee,andthenreacheddownandtouchedsomethinghardandthick,something
thatbobbed.BeforeIcouldattempttoputitonhim,Jason’slipswereonmine
andhewasgroaningintomymouth.Forgettingaboutthecondom,Islippedmy
armsaroundhisshoulders,butbeforeIcouldgetintoit,hestoppedand
pulledhislipsaway.
“Don’tstop.Putiton,baby.”Hisvoice
wassothick,soseductive.
“But,howamI—”
Hispushedmylegsopenwithhiskneesandthen
hiscockwasstrokingmypussy.
Ohmygod…
Igroanedandletmylegsopenwiderfor
him.
“Ifyouwantmeinsideyou,lookatmeand
putiton,”herepeatedagain.
Barelyholdinghisstare,Ireacheddown
andgrabbedthethicklengthofhiscock,strokingitonce,twice.
Growlingdeepinhisthroat,Jasonbiton
myneck,gentlysuckingtheskin.
BecauseIwasdyingtohavehiminsideme,
Istoppedplayingandslowlyrolledthecondomonhim.
Androlled.
Androlled.
Androlled.
Holycrap!
Themomentmyfingerslefthim,Jason
pushedhishipsforwardandtheheadofhiscockpushedatmyopening.Igasped
withequalamountsofpleasureandpain.
Fromsomewhereinthehouse,Jason’sphone
startedringing.
“Don’tthinkaboutit,”hemurmuredand
pushedinalittlebitdeeper.
Ididn’tthinkaboutit.Iarchedmyneck
andmoanedquiteloudly.
“More?”heaskedinbetweenmyheavy
breathing.
“Yess,”Imoanedashekeptpushingin
withoutwaitingformyanswer.Thenhewasretreatingandeasingbackinagain.
Mybodygettingusedtohim,Itriedto
holdhisstaretolethimseehowgooditfelttohavehimgodeepinmybody.
Whentheheadofhiscockhitthatmagical
spot,myeyesflutteredclosedandhestoppedmoving.Noretreating.Nopushing
backin.
Iwascompletelyfull,ineverywaythat
counted.Itfeltlikemywholebodywastremblingunderhim.Hedroppedtohis
kneesbutkepthisbodyovermine.Isensedhisfingerspushingmyhairaway
frommyfaceandthenhislipswereagainstmytemple,leavingatenderkiss.I
openedmyeyesandgazedintohis.
“Olive,”hewhispered.
Oneword.
Howcouldheaffectmelikehedid?Howcould
onewordoutofhismouthtouchmyheartlikethat?
“Inallthewaysthatmatter,I’myour
first,Olive.Doyouunderstand?”
Hedidn’thaveanyideahowrighthewas.
Inallthewaysthatmattered,hewasmyfirst,andafterthiswholedeal
ended,hewouldprobablybemylast.Noone…nothingwouldevermakemefeel
likehewasmakingmefeelrightthen.
Inodded.
Hiseyesopen,hetouchedhislipstomine.
Gently,softly.Iclosedmyeyestohidemyfeelingsandkissedhimback.He
pulledhishipsbackandpushedindeep.Hard.
“You’reperfectsweetheart.You’reperfect
andnowyouareallmine.”
MybrowssnappedtogetherandIgaspedinto
hismouth.Hedidn’tbreakthekiss.
Anotherdeepthrustrockedmybodyforward
andheateupmymoan.
“Jason,”Igroanedwhenhegavemeenough
spacetobreathe.
“Isitjustasgoodforyou?”heasked.
Therewassomethinghiddeninhisvoice,somethingthattoldmehewas
surprised.
Igavehimalazygrin.
Hesmiledback.“Lookatyoutakingmeall
in,”hesaidsoftly.“Goodgirl.”
Anotherdeepthrustandmybreathhitched.
“You’resofuckingdeep,”Igasped
“Youlikeit,sweetheart?Youlikeit
deep?”Knowingwhathewasdoing,hehitthatspotandIwhimpered.“Sweetheart,”
hemuttered,gettingmyattention.“Talktome.”
“Itfee-elssoogo-od,”Iwhimpered.Tomy
horror,Ifeltatearslidedownfrommyeyeandintomyhair.
Jasoncuppedmyfaceandwipedthecoming
tearswithhisthumbs.
“Easy,baby.”
“I’msorry,”Iwhisperedashekeptworking
hiscockintome,hismovementsgentle.“Just…alittleoverwhelmed,Ithink.”
“Iknow,”hemurmuredashekissedmy
closedeyes.“Iknow,baby.”
Hetookme,bodyandsoul.Soft,long
strokesalternatedwithhard,shallowones.Iwasspent.Ourmoansechoedinthe
roomandeverynoisehemadespurredmeonmore.
“You’recreamingaroundmycock.Areyou
gonnacomeforme,beautiful?”Jasonasked.Hismouthwasnexttomyear,his
heavybreathswarmingmyneckandsendingshiversthroughmyentirebody.All
thewhilehewasslidinghiscockasdeepasitcouldgo.
“Jason,ithurtssogood,”IwhisperedasI
heldontohisforearms,diggingmyfingersintohisflesh,tryingtomovemy
hipswithhisthrusts.
Thepressureinsidemewasbuildingand
buildingandbuilding…Itwasdrivingmecrazy.
Completelyoutofmymind.
“Jason,I’mgonnacome,”Igasped.
“Yes,baby,Icanfeelit.Icanfeelyou
squeezingmycockalready.”
“Faster,please.”
“No.”
Onedeepthrust.
“Thiswillfeelbetter.Wehavenoreason
torush.Justletitgo,sweetheart.Giveittome.”
Hekeptworkinghiscockintomeathisown
pace,notquickening,notslowingdown.
Islidmyhandsupandontohisshoulders
andfelthismusclesstrainingundermyhands.Hewassolidundermyfingers,so
real,andhewashavingahardtimeholdingitalltogether,justlikeme.I
managedtomovemyhipsunderhisbodyandsuddenlytheheadofhiscockhit
whereIneededittohitandIlostit.
“Kissme,Jason,”Igasped,myhands
tighteningonhisarms.HetookmymouthandIletitallgo.Iletitallseep
outofme.EverythingIhadbeenholdingontoforsuchalongtime.
WhenIstartedtocontractaroundhimmore
violently,myorgasmrippingthroughmybody,Jasonburiedhimselfdeepintome
andstartedgrinding.TheintensityofmyorgasmsweptthroughmybodyandI
startedcryingagain.Asmytearsslidoverourlips,Icuppedhisfaceand
kissedhimdeeper,givinghimmytongue.
Mybodywasshakinglikealeaf.
“Shit,baby.”Ifelthisgroanvibrate
throughmyentirebodyandhestartedrammingintome.Hard,deepstrokesthat
managedtopullsomethingmorefromme.Anothersmallshockwentthroughmeand
thenJasonwasemptyinghimselfinme.
Mychestfillingwithawarmfeeling,I
nippedathislipsuntilhishipssloweddownandheletoutalonggroan.
Buryinghisfaceagainstmyneck,hestilledinsideme.Afterdroppingsmall
kissesonmyskin,heliftedhisheadandgavememydimple.
“Hey,”hewhispered.
Proppingmyselfuponmyelbows,Iarched
myneckandkissedhisscruffycheek,rightwherehisdimplelivedtotorture
meandtheentirehumanpopulation.
Whenmyheadhitthebedagain,hewas
smilingevenbigger.
“Howareyoufeeling?”heasked,atouchof
worryinhisvoice.
“Perfect,”Ianswered,grinningupathim.
“Ihavetotakecareofthecondom.”
“Now?”
Hekissedmynose.“Yes,sweetheart.”He
gentlyslidoutofme,hiscockstillsemi-hard,andthenhewasoffthebed,
headingtowardthemasterbathroom
Withouthimfillingme,Ifeltsoempty.What
now?Thiswasn’thowI’dimaginedmynightwouldend.Whatwouldhappennow?
Wasthisaone-timethingforhim?Afterhavinghimandknowinghowitfeltto
havehim…ifIdidn’thavehimagain,wouldIdiefromheartache?
Wasthathowitworked?
BeforeIcouldthinkofsomethingtosay,
hewasbackbymyside,gatheringmeupinhisarmsandsettlingusunderthe
covers.Itdidn’tescapemynoticethathehadputonapairofbriefsbeforegetting
intobed.
Ilaystill,notevenmovinganinch.
Hewassilent,buthishandsweresliding
upanddownmyarm.Whatdidthatmean?
Itfeltgoodtobeinhisarmsagain.Yeah,
Iwasnakedandhewasnot,butitwasstillgood.Hehadn’tleftmealonehis
room.Itwassomething.
Ishould’veopenedmydamnmouthandsaid,
whatnow?Oranythingreally.ButIdidn’t.NeitherdidJason.
Ihadquestions,butIfearedhisanswers.
Butwhydidn’thesaysomething?
Nottoolongafterhegotinbedwithme,
hisarmstilledovermywaistandhefellasleep.
JasonandOlivecapturedonvideowhileengaginginapassionate
kiss!
Oh,boy!Ladies,didanyofyounottakeacold
showerafterwatchingthevideoofJasonThornkissingOliveTayloronthe
stage?Wedon’tknowaboutyou,butwesuredid.Severalofthem.
Asifthat’snotenough,wearehearingrumors
fromasourceclosetothecouplethattheyquietlygotmarriedinJason’sBel
AirhomeandaretryingtokeepitonthedownlowsotheycaneaseOlive’s
familyintotheunexpectedmarriage.OursourcerevealsthatJasonwastoo
anxioustohaveanextendedengagementandinsteaddecidedtosurpriseOlive
withastress-freewedding.Everyonebelievestheyaretrulysmittenwitheach
other.
WhilealotofJasonThornfansareshockedand
notsurewhattomakeoftherumors,Olive’sownfansseemedtosupportthis
unionwholeheartedly.Afterwatchingthatkiss,wedon’tthinktherumorsare
falseatthispoint.
Andcanwetalkmoreaboutthevideo,please?Oh,
whatwewouldn’tgivetobeaflyonthewallinJasonThorn’shometowatch
whathappenedwhentheywerealone…Afterakisslikethat,notonlydidJason
showeveryonewhatapassionatekississupposedtolooklike,healsoshowed
thatOliveTaylorisquitepossiblytheluckiestgirlintheworld.Asifwe
didn’tknowthatalready…
Astheyleftthebarwherethecastandcrewwere
havingapartybeforethefilmingforSoulAchestartedthenextday,Jason
almostgotintoafightwithaphotographerbecausetheygotalittletooclose
tohissweetheart.Whoknewhewouldbeajealoushubbyafterallhis
discretions?
Fornearlythepasttwoyears,JasonThornhas
beenknownforhissexualappetite.DoyouthinkOliveTaylor—orshouldwesay
OliveThorn—willbehisonlyfocus,orwillthestarhavemoredistractions
everynowandthen?
ChapterTwenty-SevenJason
Iwokeupfeelinglikemybloodwashumming
inmyveins.MyhandsmetsoftfleshandIgroaned.Iwasburningfromtheinside
out.MyhipsflexedandIheardasmallmoan.
Smiling,Iletmyhandswanderupapairof
thighs.
“Mmmm,whatareyoudoing,littleone?”I
murmuredandsqueezedOlive’ships,successfullystoppingherupwardmovementwhile
mydickwassnugglyrestinginsideher.
Feelingherweightonmychest,Iopenedmy
eyesandlookedintohersparklinggreenones.Hesitantly,shepressedherlips
overmineandliftedherheadtostaredownatmeagain.Freeingmyrighthand,
Igatheredherhairinmyfist,helditawayfromherface,andpulledherback
down.Whenshepartedherlipsforme,Ikissedherthewayshewasalways
supposedtobekissed,thewayshedeservedtobekissed.Shemoanedandopened
hermouthwider,turningthekissintoliquidlust.
Shewaswelcometodoso.
Hell,shewaswelcometowakemeupevery
morningbyclimbingontomydickforaride.
Inippedherlipsandshestopped,her
breathingragged,herhipsrestless.
Holdingontothebackofherwaist,I
flippedusoverandhadherundermeinasecondwithoutbreakingour
connection.
“Youshould’vewokenmeupifyouneeded
more,baby,”IwhisperedasIthrustintoher.Shehidherfaceinmyneckas
sheletoutalong,sexymoan.
Herlegswerehuggingmyhips,butwithmy
secondthrustsheletthemfallopenandliftedherhipsinsyncwithmy
leisurelythrusts.
“Ijust…”
Shebitherbottomlip,hereyebrows
drawingtogether.
“Youjust,what,sweetheart?”
Shegazedintomyeyeswithsuchlonging
thatIcouldn’tlookawayfromher.
“Ijustwantedtomakesurelastnight
wasn’tadream.”
IthrustasdeepasIcouldgoandreveled
inthewayherbodytrembledundermineasshearchedherneckandletout
anotherdeepgroan.
“Andyoudecidedtorideme?”
“Yesss,”shehissed,throwingherheadback
whenIgrindedintoher.
Herpussywassodamnhot,suckingmydick
in,squeezingme.Notabletostop,Ipulledbackandfilledheragainand
again.
Herhandswereroamingmychest,hertouch
wakingsomethinginsideme.WhenIstartedpoundingintoher,herbreathscame
outingaspsandsheletoutsultry,incoherentmews.
Eachtimemycockdisappearedinsideher,ripples
ofpleasurerockedmybody.
“Jason,”Olivemoanedunderme,herhands
overherhead,palmsrestingagainsttheheadboard.Islowedmypoundingand
roughlypulleddownherbra.Whyhadwenottakenitoffthenightbefore?Oh,
right,Ihadbarelybeenabletothink,letalonecareaboutlosingthebra.As
longasIhadaccesstowhatwasunderneath,Ihadn’tcared,butnowIwanted
itoff.IwantedeveryinchofherskinonmineasIburiedmyselfintoher.
“Whenyouwerewritingthosesexscenes
wereyouthinkingofyourboyfriend?”Iasked,myvoiceallfuckedup.
Shehesitated.
“Answerme,Olive.”
Ipulledoutmydick,lovingthewayshe
triedtograbontoitwithhermuscles,thenslammeditbackin.
“No,”shegasped,graspingthebedsheetswith
smallfists.
“Whowereyouthinkingof?”
“Ican’ttell.”
“Oh,youwill,sweetheart.”
Idroppedmyheadtoherbreastsandsucked
hernippleinmymouthasIstartedgrindingintoher.Ilovedhowshearched
herbacktofeedmemore.
“Doyouwantmetostop?”Ibarelyheld
backmyhips.Shelookedgorgeousunderme,takingmycocksonicely.
Thelittlewitchstartedtomoveherhips
underme.
Grittingmyteeth,Isaid,“Youcanget
yourselfoff,babybutitwon’tbethesameashowI’mgoingtogetyouoffon
mydick.Whowereyouthinkingof,Olive?”
“You,”shewhispered,turningherheadaway
fromme.
Istartedthrobbinginsideher,soIpicked
upmypaceagain,drivingintoher.
“Sowhattheysayistrue,youreallywere
thinkingaboutmewhenyouwroteIsaac,”Isaidconversationallyasifeven
thinkingaboutitwasn’tkickingupmyheartrate.
Hereyeswerelazywhensheopenedthemto
lookatme.
“Yes,”shewhispered,hervoicescratchy.
“Doyouwantmetotalkdirtytoyou,baby?
LikeIsaac?”
Leaningdowntoherear,Istoppedwhenmy
lipswereonlymillimetersawayandbreathlesslywhispered,“Doyouwantmeto
takeyouhard,too?Fuckyouintooblivion?”
Asananswer,shetangledherhandsbehind
myheadandtookmylips,playingwithmyheartlikenooneelseeverhad
Aboldcaressofhertongueandeverything
wenthazy.Wrenchingmylipsawayfromhermouth,Istraightenedmyarmsandlooked
downtoher.
“Allyouhavetodoisask,sweetheart.
I’llgiveyoueverythingyouneed.”
MybodysurgedintohersandIlookeddown
towatchmythickcockdisappearintohersweetheat.Icataloguedeverycurve
anddipofherbody.Shewassodamntightandalreadybreathless,herclever
handstouchingeveryinchofmybodyshecouldreach.
WhenIrealizedmycontrolwasshotto
hell,Igotoffofhertostandonmyknees.
“Holdontotheheadboard,baby.”
Whenshereachedupandcurledherfingerson
theheadboard,Ihookedmyarmsunderherkneesandputherlegsovermyopen
thighs,makingsuretoholdherlegsopenforme.
Wipingoffthesweatonmyforehead,I
grabbedherhipsandslowlyfedmydicktoherpussy,revelinginherloud
swearingandmoans.
“Oh,god,”shemumbledwhenIwasallin.
“Fuck,yes,”Isaidinreply.
Thenmyfingersdugharderintoherflesh
andIfuckedherlikeIhadn’tfuckedherthenightbefore.Whilethenight
beforehadbeenamazing,ithadbeenmorethanjustsex.This…thiswaspure
pleasure.Itwashard,deep,anddefinitelyoutofcontrol.
Ilovedit.
Shelovedit.
EverytimeIsurgedintoherbody,I
bottomedout.Iwasdrinkinginhersharpcriesandgaspingbreaths.Whenher
headhittheheadboardfromtheforceIwaspoundingintoher,Itriedtoslow
mypacedownbutitwastoolate,forbothofus.
“Fuck,Jason…shit,fuck…Yes,yes,please…”
Hereyesrolledbackintoherheadandher
bodyfrozeundermyhands.HerreleasecoatedmeinarushandIgroanedlouder
thanhercries.
Shetookagaspingbreath.
Thenanother.
AsIkeptpoundingintoher,sheslowly
camedownfromherorgasm,herlegsrelaxed,andsheopenedhereyes.Itwas
enoughtoignitesomethinginsideofme,soIletitallgoandjoinedherin
oblivion.
Iwastryingtocatchmybreathandslowly
keepthrustingintoherwhenshesplayedherfingersovermycontractingabs,looking
atmeasifshewasreadytolickmeupandeatme.Outofmymindwithneed
forher,Idroppedtomyelbows,heldherheadinbetweenmyhands,andgave
hertherawestandmostpassionatekissI’deversharedwithanyone
Whenwewerehalf-dead,Idroppedakisson
hernoseandtriedtoignoremythrobbingcock.Iwasreadytogoallover
again.
“Weneedtorepeatthisafewtimesaday.
Youokaywiththat,sweetheart?”
Asananswershekissedmeandinthe
middleofourkissgavemealazysmile
“Also,whenmybrainisfunctioning,remind
metoaskhowyoumanagedtorollacondomonmewithoutwakingmeup.Ormaybe
wecantalkaboutnotusingthematallifyou’rereadyforthat.”
“Ivoteonnotusingthematall,”she
murmuredinasoftvoice.
Ismiled.“Good.We’llhandleitassoonas
possible.”
ItwasbyfarthebestmorningI’deverhad
inmyentirelife.
***
Whenwegottotheset,everythingwas
readyforthefirstdayofthefilming.Olivewasbesideherself,herbeautiful
eyestakingineverythingwithacontagioussmileonherface.BeforeIhadtogo
informakeupandhair,IintroducedhertothedirectorTannerPaceandaton
ofothers.WhenIhadtoleaveherwithAlvintogoandrunlineswithLindsay
Dunlop,Ifeltasmallacheinmyheart.Iwantedtokeepherbymysideatall
times,haveherhandinmine,lipsonmine,permanently.
However,Icouldn’tdothat.
AfteranhourofrehearsalwithLindsay,I
checkedthetrailerbutcouldn’tfindanytraceofOliveorAlvininthere.
Walkingaroundthelot,Ifoundthembothmunchingonfruitandcandies,next
tothecraftservicearea.
“Jason!”Oliveexclaimedwhenshesawme
headingtheirway.Hersmilehadn’tdiminishedabit,andherexcitementwas
justascontagiousashersmile.
“Thereyouare,”IsaidwhenIreached
theirside.HookingmyarmaroundOlive’swaist,Ileaneddownandtookabite
ofthestrawberryinherhand.ThenIloweredmyheadandcapturedhermouthin
aquickkiss.
Whenitwasover,hereyeswerehalf-closed
andglazed;maybeithadn’tbeensuchaquickkissafterall.Lickingherlips,
shemurmured,“Strawberry.Yummm.”
Ilaughedandsaidhitotheelectricians,
whoweregettingcoffeefromtheotherendofthesetup.
KeepingOliveclosetomyside,Ifaced
Alvin.“Didn’tyouguysmakeittothetraileryet?Ilookedtherefirst.”
“Olivewantedtoseethesetfirst.”
OlivescrunchedhernoseandgaveAlvinan
apologeticlook.“Yeah,sorryaboutthat.It’shardtoexplainhowitmakesyou
feelwhenyouseesomethinginreallifethatwascreatedinyourmind.”She
turnedthosegreeneyesatme.“Youshould’veseenAlvin’sfacewhenIteared
up.EventhebedcoversonEvie’sbedhavethesamefeatherpatternIwrotein
thebook,Jason.That’sthebedwheretheysharedtheirfirstkiss.”
Ismileddownather.“Theauthorapproves,
then?Doessheapprovetheleadingactor,too?”
Shenoddedenthusiastically.“Idefinitely
approvetheleadingactor.Iapprovehimthemost.”
“Iwantedtoshowyouaroundmyself,but
I’llsettlewithshowingyoumytrailer.Sinceyoubroughtyourlaptopwith
you,I’massumingyou’llwanttowrite?”
“Yes,IfiguredI’dfindaquietcorner.I
didn’twanttobeinyourwaytheentireday.”
“Youwouldn’tbe,sweetheart.Ispendmost
ofmytimeinthetrailerinbetweentakes,andIenjoywatchingyouwrite.”I
gatheredherhairanddroppeditbackoverhershoulder.“Youwanttogoseeit
now?”
Itriednottolooktooeager,butIwas
dyingtogetheraloneforafewminutes.Thatkisshadn’tbeenenoughtoquench
mythirstforher,andithadbeenafewhourstoomanysincethelasttimeI’d
hadhernakedandwrithinginmyarms.
“Boss,”AlvininterruptedbeforeOlive
couldgiveheranswer.“AsmuchasIlovetospendtimewithyourlovelywife,
I’mafraidIneedtoleavesoIcantakecareofthehousewhileyou’renot
actuallyinit.Isthereanythingelseyouneedfrommehere?”
“Right.Didtheyassignaproduction
assistantalready?”
“Yes,Italkedtohim.Heshould’vealready
droppedthecallsheetinyourtrailer.Anythingelseyouneed,youletme
know.”
“I’llbeokay.We’lltalklater.Rightnow,
I’llgospendsomemoretimewithmylovelywife.”
AlvinleftandIwalkedthroughthestudio
lotwithOlivetowardwheremostofthetrailerswerekept.
“You’rekidding,right?”sheaskedoncewe
werestandinginfrontofthetwo-storymonster.
“WhywouldIkid?”
“Thisisgigantic,Jason.”
“It’snotmine,actually.Idon’tcarethat
muchabouthavingabigone.Theproductioncompanyofferedformetousethis
oneduringfilming,andsinceIknewyouwouldbecomingwithme,Ithought
you’denjoyhavingabiggerspacetoyourself.Comeon,I’llshowyouinside.
You’llbemorethancomfortableenoughtoworkinhere.”
Restingmyhandonherback,Iurgedherto
moveforward.
“Soyou’resayingIcancometotheset
withyouandworkinyourtrailer?WheneverIwant?”
Imethergaze.“Iassumedyou’dwantto
comewithme,littleone.Ifnottowrite,thenmaybetowatchtheshooting.”
Sheavertedhergaze,butnotbeforeIsaw
herbrilliantsmile.Walkingaheadofher,Irippedoffthecallsheetthe
productionassistanthadsecuredonthedoorandunlockedthetrailer.
“Theydon’tgoin?”
“NotwhenI’mnotinhere.Yousawwhat
happenedinLondon.Eventhoughthisplaceisprettywellguarded,Iwouldn’t
trustanyoneinhere.”Iheldoutmyhandforhertotake.“Youshouldkeepit
lockedwhenyouarealoneinhere,too.”
Holdingontomyhand,shetookthenarrow
stepsupandenteredthetrailer.
“Holycrap,Jason.I’minlovewithyour
home,butthis…thisisprettyclosetolovetoo.”
Wantingtofeelherbodyclosetomine,I
wrappedmyarmsaroundherabdomenandrestedmyheadontopofhers.Whenshe
placedherhandsovermine,Iwasgrinninglikeakid.
Getittogether,man.
“Thisistheloungearea,”Iexplained,
standingnexttothewhiteleathersectional.Itookafewstepsforward,
shufflingherwithme.“Throughhere,thereisthemakeupstation/officearea
andasmallkitchenette,asyoucansee.”Itookasmallstepforwardandlet
myhipsrestagainsthersoshecouldfeelhowmuchIwasaffectedbyour
closeness.Iheardherquickintakeofbreathwhenmyerectionnestledagainst
herfuckingfantasticass.
Betterspeedthisup.
“Throughtheotherdoor,thereisa
bathroomandwardrobearea.Upstairsthereisascreeningroom.”Donewiththe
tour,Iturnedherinmyarms,pushedabuttononthewalltoclosethedoor
thatseparatedtheloungeareafromtheofficespace,andbackedherupagainst
it.
Bythen,Iwasmorethanreadytohaveher
again.
Touchingmylipstohers,Iwaitedtosee
whatshewoulddo.Shekissedmeback,butitwassofterthanwhatIwanted.
Notwantingtoscareherawayondayone,Ikeptitsoft,butstillletmy
tongueouttoplaywithhers.Bythetimeweweredone,shewasbreathlessand
Icouldseeredflamesinhergreeneyes.
MyvoicewashuskierthanIexpectedwhenI
spoke.“Areyouokaywitheverythingthat’sbeenhappening?”
Seeingherred,swollenlipsdidsomething
tome,soIreachedupandtracedhersoftlipswithmythumb.
Sheavoidedlookingatmebutnoddedher
head.Ileanedincloserandwhisperedintoherhair.“Canyoulookatme,
baby?”
Thenshedid,andfuckme,butshewas
beautiful.Iwentforherlipsagain,andthistimeshewasjustaseagerasI
was.
Herhandtimidlyreachedundermyshirtand
sheresteditagainstmystomach.Involuntarily,Ithrustmyhipsintohers.
BeforeIcouldliftherupandtakehertothecouch,someonestartedpounding
onthedoor.
“Jason,Tannerneedstotalktoyouabout
somechangeshewantstomakeinthefirstscene.”
“I’llberightthere!”Iyelled.
IrestedmyforeheadagainstOlive’sand
sighed.Focusingonherpartedlips,Idiscreetlyrearrangedmyself.“Idon’tthink
Icanmakeitmorethanafewhourswithouthavingyouagain,”Iwhisperedover
myfranticheartbeat.
Whatwashappeningtome?
“Go,”shesaid,takingherhandawayfrom
myskinandplacingitonmychest,overmyshirt.“I’llsnooparoundinyour
trailersomemore.Yourtourwasprettylame.”
“Allyouneedtofocusonisme,woman.”
Shelaughedandhalfheartedlypushedatmy
chest.“Go.Willyoucomebackandtakemetowatchthefirstscene?”
Reluctantly,Ilethergoandrubbedmy
face.“Letmecheckthecallsheet.”
Shecametothetablewithmeandlookedat
thepaperovermyarm.“Oh,thefirstsceneisthesameoneyoureadatthe
audition.Ithoughtitwouldbethefirsttimetheysaweachotherontheempty
street.”
“Moviesarealmostnevershotinsequence.
SinceI’minLAanddon’thaveanyothershoots,theydon’thavetoschedule
thescenesaroundme,butIthinkLindsayhasanothercommitmentandshe’ll
havetobeawayfromthesetoncertaindays.They’llwanttotakecareofthe
sceneswehavetogetherfirst.”
“Ok,”shesaid,hereyesstilltakingin
thecallsheet.Ismiledandhandedittoher.
“Doyouwanttokeepit,maybe?”
“Yes!”Sherippeditoutofmyhandsand
turnedherbacktome.
IlaughedandpulledawayherhairsoI
couldbrushasmallkissonherneck.“I’llbebacktogetyouforthefirst
scene,sweetheart.Begood.”
Whycouldn’tIkeepmyhandsandlipsaway
fromher?
Twentyminuteslater,Iheadedbacktothe
trailerandcollectedOlivesothePAcoulddriveustothelocation.
LeavingOlivetositonmychairbehindthe
cameras,Itookmyplaceinfrontofthem.Halfanhourlater,Lindsaywasin
placeandwewerereadytostart.
Beforethedirectorcouldcalloutaction,
IglancedbackatthespotwhereIhadleftOlive,butIcouldbarelymake
outherfacewithallthelightsthatweredirectedatus.Closingmyeyes,I
relaxedmybodyandthoughtaboutIsaac.HearingOlive’svoiceinmymind,I
tookineverydetailshe’dgivenmeabouthim.Shehadsoundedlikeshewas
actuallyinlovewithhim,butIunderstoodthatkindofcommitmentalltoo
well.Shewouldn’tbeagoodwriterifshecouldn’tfallforhercharacters,
thegoodandthebad.
Irelaxedmyshouldersandletoutadeep
breath.WhenIopenedmyeyesandlookedatEvie,IwasIsaac,theIsaacOlive
hadgivenherheartto.
“Action!”Tanneryelled.
Itallbegan.
***
Twohoursofshootinglater,Ifoundmyself
nexttoOlive,grippingherhandtightly,hergriponminejustasstrong.
“Ihaveanhourinbetweentakes,”Isaid
asIcheckedthewatchonmywrist.“Youwanttoheadbacktothetrailer?I
couldusesomequiet.”Ineededtogetheralone.
Shefollowedmewithoutapeep.
ThePAdroppedusoffatthecraftservice
stationandIgotmyselfcoffeeandOlivesometea.Sincethetrailerwasn’t
faraway,IsentthePAawaysoIcouldhaveOlivetomyselfaswewalkedthe
shortdistance.
Abiggroupofpeopleexitedoneofthe
warehousesthatwasonthewaytomytrailerandswarmedaroundus.Wehadto
slowdownourstepsandletthempasstowardthesmallfaketown.Ifigured
theymusthavebeentakingabreakfromshooting.
WhenOlivesuddenlystoppedmoving,I
haltedandglancedbackather.
“What’sgoingon?”Iaskedasshejerked
herhandfrommineandstartedwavingitinfrontofherface.“Olive,whatare
youdoing?”
“Isthatabee?”shesqueaked,hurriedly
backingaway.
“Iguessso.Why?What’swrong?”
“Ohmygod,therearemore!”sheyelledand
jumpedonthebenchthatwasclosesttoher.
Bythenafewpeoplehadstoppedand
startedwatchingher,tryingtounderstandwhatthecommotionwasabout.
Ijoggedtoherside.“Olivestopjumping,
you’regonnafallandbreakyourneck.”
“Jason!Jason,youhavetohelpme!”
Yup,therewereonlytwobees,thoughthese
twowerepersistentsuckers.
“Baby,”Isaid,chuckling.“Quitwaving
yourhandsaroundandjumpingawayifyoudon’twantthemtostingyou.”
“They’recomingafterme!HowcanIstop!
Getthemawayfromme,please.”
“Okay.”Isighedandcaughtherbehindher
knees.Withouthesitation,shejumpedintomyarmsandwrappedherselfaround
me,herfacehidinginmyneck.
ShewhimperedandIhadtobitebackmy
laugh.
“Ididn’tknowyouwereafraidofbees,
Olive.”
“Aretheygone?”shewhisperedintomyneck.
Icouldbarelymakeoutherwords.
“Actually,theyarestillflyingaround,
butIwon’tletthemgettoyou,don’tworry.Noone’stakingyouawayfromme,
noteventheseevilbees.”
Shegroaned,butherholdonmewasmore
relaxed.“Don’tmakefunofme.I’veneverbeenstungbyabee,soifthey
stingme,Imightdiewithinminutes.”
ThistimeIcouldn’tholditback;I
laughed,tighteningmyholdonherwaistsoIwouldn’tdropher.Feelingeyes
onus,Iglancedbehindmeandsawafewpeopletapingthewholespectaclewith
theirphones.
Great.More
mediacoveragewasexactlywhatweneeded.
“I’mprobablyallergic.Thatmustbewhy
theyarewaitingtogettome.Aretheygone?Ifnot,waveyourhandssothey
won’tgetclosetous.”Olivewasoblivioustowhatwashappeningaroundusso
Iquickenedmypace,knowingshewouldn’twanttobefilmedwhilewrapped
aroundme.Also,evenifitmademeabastard,Ilikedherwrappedaroundme.
Iftheyfilmedit,photographedit…sowhat?Shewasmywifeafterall.
“I’mprettysureifIwavemyhandsaround
that’llonlypissthemoffmore,andthenthey’llstealyouawayfromme.”
Lightly,shehitmyshoulderandmuttered,
“Isaiddon’tmakefunofme.I’mdeadserious.”
Ipattedherassandsmiledintoherhair.
“Iknow,baby.It’sokay,we’realmostatthetrailer.I’llprotectyou.”
“Arewegoingtothehospital?”
“Olive,theydidn’teventouchyou,
sweetheart.”
“Butwhatifoneofthemisinmyhair?If
heisanywherenearmyhead,I’llbedeadinseconds.”
Hernosewasticklingmyneck,butthenI
feltsomethingdifferent.
“Olive?”
“Yes,”shemumbledback.
“Didyoujustsniffme?”
Herbodytightenedagain.“No.No.Isniffled.
IwascheckingtoseeifIwasabouttocry.Youknow,readyingmyselfjustin
case.”
“Isee.”
Mybodyshakingwithlaughter,Imanagedto
openthedoortoourtrailerandcarriedmywifeinside.Walkingtowardthe
couch,Igentlylayherdownonit.
Withasmilegluedtomyface,Ilooked
downather.Shegenuinelylookedscared.Pushingherbangsawayfromhereyes,
Isaid,“Don’tmoveamuscle,beautiful.”
BeforeIcouldextractmyselffromher
arms,herhandreachedupandtouchedmydimple.Tiltingmyhead,Ikissedher
fingerandlefthersidesoIcouldgotothebathroomandbrushmyteeth.I
hadkissedLindsay,orIshouldsayEvie,atotaloftwentytimes.Ididn’t
wantthelingeringtasteofherinmymouth.Itwasn’tthatLindsaywasn’ta
professionalaboutit,IjustwantedOlive’stasteback.
AssoonasIwasdone,Iwascrawlingon
topofherandreachingforherlips.Shehadn’tsaidanythingaboutthe
filming,andwhileIwascurioustohearwhatshethoughtaboutthesceneswe
hadshot,kissingherwashigheronmyprioritylist.
Nudgingherlipsopen,Isneakedmytongue
insidehermouthandgentlytiltedherheadbacksoIcouldsinkintoher.I
didn’tknowhowlongIkissedherlikedthat,drinkingherin,memorizingher
scent,butwhenIslidmyerectionagainsttheseamofherleggings,herlittle
moanreachedthroughthethickfogthatwasblindingme.
Endingthekiss,Irestedmyforeheadon
hersandlistenedtoherheavybreathing.
“Whatdidyouthink?”Iaskedinaheavy
voicewhenIcouldthinkmoreclearly.
“Youwereamazing,”shewhisperedasshe
lookedintomyeyeswithherheartshiningrightattheedges.
Amused,Iasked,“Lindsay?”
Shemadeacute,funnyface.“IthinkI’m
okaywiththefictionalEviehavingherhappyendingwithIsaac,butwatching
itinreallife…actuallywatchingherkissyousoooomanytimes,andfromso
manydifferentangles?Notsosureaboutthat.”
Ilaughedandkissedheragain.
“That’swhyIwasdyingtogetyouback
here.IthinkIprefertokisstheauthor.”
“Howdoesitworkexactly?Imean,howcan
younotfeelsomethingforherandthengoaheadandkissherlikethat?”
“Like…what?”
“Likeyouwantedtoeatherup?”
“Iwanttoeatyouup,Olive.CanI?”
“I’mserious,though.”
“Baby,nothingaboutthosekisseswas
intimate.Didn’tyouseehowmanytimeswehadtostoptomakesurethe
directorwashappywiththeangleandthelighting?It’sIsaacandEviekissing
atthatmoment,notLindsayandJason.Now,IreallywantittobeJasonand
Olivekissing,”Imurmuredintoherearandleftatrailofsmallkissesonher
neck.
Archinghernecktogetmore,shelifted
herhips.
Igroanedandpushedherhipsbackdownto
thecouchwithmyhand.“I’mafraidifwestartwiththat,Iwon’tbeableto
getbacktotheset.”
Ignoringmywarning,shepulledmedownby
myneckandkissedthefuckoutofme.
Bythetimetherewassomeonebangingon
thedoor,Iwasfuckingherthroughourclothes.
Iwrenchedmylipsawayfromhersand
snarledatwhoeverthehellwasatthedoor.
“Startingthesceneinten,Jason!”someone
yelledfromtheotherside.ItsoundedliketheAD.
IrestedmyheadonOlive’sshoulder.“Be
thereinaminute.”
Watchinghowfastherchestwasrisingand
fallinggavemeimmensepleasure.Ididthattoher.Itookher
breathaway.
Pushingupwithmyhands,Ilookeddownat
herflushedface.Hereyesweredilated.
“Ilovethislookonyou,Olive,”Isaid,
feelingsomanythingsallatonce.
“Whatlook?”sheaskedbreathlessly
“Thislookthatsays,I’vebeenfucked
soverywell.”
Shelaughed.“Idon’trememberbeing
fucked.”
Iliftedaneyebrow.“Youdon’t?Maybewe
shouldamendthat.”
Herexpressionserious,shenodded.“We
definitelyshould.Iwantyousobad,Jason.Inme.Onme.”
Igroanedandhidmyfaceagainsther
throat.Theypoundedonthedooragain.
“Weneedtoleave.”
“I’llstayhere.Thekissingandallthat
wasstartingtogettome.Plus,IwantsomeofittobeasurprisewhenI’m
watchingthemovie.IfeelmotivatedenoughtowritemoresoIshouldtake
advantageofthat.”
“Ok,sweetheart.”Ikissedhernoseand
slowlybackedawayfromherbody.“IfIcan’tcomebackinbetweentakes,I’ll
makesuretohavesomebodybringyoulunch.”
“Whendoesshootingendtoday?”
“Ithinkclosertoeight.Tannerwantsto
shootsomeofthestreetshotstoday.Whydoyouask?”
Sittingcross-leggedonthecouch,she
straightenedhershirtandlookedaway.“Noreason.Ithoughtmaybewhenweget
home,wecould…”Herwordstrailedoff.
“Wecouldwhat,baby?”
Shestayedsilentbutbitherlip,drawing
myattention.
Placingmyhandsoneithersideofher
hips,Igotinherfaceandaskedagain,“Wecouldwhat,Olive?Whatdoyou
wantfromme?”
Sheliftedhereyesandmetmygaze.“I
wantyou.”
“Yougotme.”
“DidI?”sheasked,tiltingherhead.
Inippedherlipsandshesquealed.“Does
mywifewantherhusbandtofuckher?Isthatwhatyouaretryingtoask?”
Hergazesoftenedandsheplacedahand
overmycheek.“Canhe?”
“Oh,baby,”Imurmured,breathinginher
uniquescent.“Youwanttobeproperlyfucked,don’tyou?”
“Mr.Thorn?Everyoneiswaitingforyouon
set.WhatshouldItellthem?”ThistimeitwasthePAtheyhadassignedto
me—youcouldtellfromtheuncertaintyinhisvoice.
“Forgod’ssake!I’mcoming,”Ishouted
again.
IsighedandsaidtoOlive,“Holdthat
thoughtuntilIgetback.”
Bythetimewewereshootingthemartini
shot,ithadalreadygottendarkoutsideandIhadn’tseenorheardfromOlive
forhours.AfteraquicktalkwithTannerandLindsayaboutthenextday’s
schedule,Iwasheadingstraighttoher,hopingthatshewasstillinthe
trailer.
Iunlockedthedoorandgotin,but
couldn’tfindheronthefirstfloor.Headinguptothescreeningroom,Ifound
hercurleduponthecornerofthecouch,herlaptoponherlap,herfingers
tappingfuriously.WhenIgotcloseenoughtoseeherface,Inoticedthetears
fallingfromhereyes.
“Olive,what’swrong?”
Sheflinchedandherfingersstoppedmoving
foramomentasshelookedupatme.
“Sorry,”shesniffled.“Ididn’thearyou.
Canyoujustgivemeasecond?Ineedtofinishthisscene.”
“Ofcourse,”Isaid,alittledumbstruck.I
satdown.Shegavemeasmallsmileandthenturnedhereyesbacktothe
screen.
Sittingbesideher,myhandswereadamant
thatsheneededthemonherskin,soIreachedoutandgatheredherhaironthe
othersideofherneck.Smallgoosebumpsappearedonherskin,butIdoubted
sheevennoticedmetouchingher.
Afterseveralminutespassedandshewas
donewithwhateverwasmakinghercry,shetwistedinherseatandfacedme.My
handswereonherfaceinasecond.“Sweetheart,whyareyoucrying?”Iasked,
wipingawayhertears.Shemust’vebeencryingforalongtimeforhereyesto
besoredandpuffy.
Shegaveamiserablelaughandwipedather
facewiththebackofherhand.“Herfather…herfatherdied.”
“Aww,baby,whosefatherdied?”Ibrusheda
smallkissonhermouth,tastedhersaltylips,andleanedback.Iwasstill
strokingherjawline,quitepossiblytoassuremyselfthatshewasokay
“Maya’s,”sherepliedasfreshtearsstarted
spillingdownhercheeks.Noticingmyquestioninglook,sheclarified.“Thenew
bookI’mworkingon.Mayaistheheroine.Herfatherhadcancer,andshewas
withhim…hislastnight,holdinghishand,andthenhenevermadeitto
morning.Heknew…hewasn’tgoingto,andhelovedhersomuch.”
Herbreathhitchedandthetearsstarted
comingfaster.
“Oh,baby,”Iwhisperedwithasmall
chuckle,andthenshewasinmyarms,herfaceburiedinmyneck.Shewasso
warm,sobeautiful,bothinsideandout
“Andthen,”shecontinued.“Andthenshe
metthisjerkinahotelandheheardhercryingfromnextdoorandbargedinto
herroomwhen…”Anothersniffle.“Whenshewasreadingherfather’sletters.”
Istrokedherhairandthenherback.My
heartwasbreakingintoamillionpiecesasshecriedherheartoutforher
characters.
“That’sgoodthough,isn’tit?”Iasked
softly.Pullingtherestofherbodyintomylap,Iletherstraddlemeand
plasterherselftomychestasIstartedtostrokeherthighstocalmherdown.
“Shewon’tbealone.I’msureyou’llmaketheguyhelpher.”
Sheputhersmallhandsonmyshouldersand
liftedherheadup.“He’dbeenajerktoherbeforethatsotheydon’tlike
eachotherthatmuch,buthe’llbeworriedwhenheseeshercrying.”
IbrushedherhairbacksoIcouldseeher
splotchybutstillbeautifulface.“Willtheyfallinlove?”
Shegavemeasmallsmile.“Verymuchso.”
“Goodforthem,”Iwhispered,lovinghow
shewaslookingatme.Hereyeshadavulnerabilityinthem,yetitmadeher
lookallthemorepowerfulsomehow.
“Butfirstshe’llaskhimtohavesexwith
her,”shesaid,hersmileturningwicked.That’swhenIrealizedexactlywhere
shewassitting.Returninghersmile,Igatheredallofherhairinmyhands
anddroppeditbackoverhershoulders.
“Ithoughttheydidn’tlikeeachother,
littleOlive.Doesshereallywanthimtohavesexwithher?”
Shenoddedeagerlyandwiggledhersexyass
alittlebacksoshecouldsettledownmorefirmlyonmynewlyawakening
erection.
“Ibetherlipslooksobeautifulallred
andswollen,justlikeyoursdonow.Ibethejumpsonthatidea.”Igripped
herchinandpressedmythumbonherbottomlip,pullingonitgently.
SherolledherhipsandIhadtodropmy
headbackandclosemyeyestoholdittogether.Restinghercheekonmy
shoulder,shewhispered,“Notreally.Hedidn’twanttotakeadvantageofher
whenshewasupset,butshe’llchangehismind.”
“Ibetshewill.Ibethecanneversayno
toher,”Isaid,notmovingmyheadaninch.IfIlookeddownatherandthose
lips,Iwasgoingtoloseit.
Herwarmlipspressedagainstmyneckand
myhandstightenedonherthighs.WhenIfeltherbodyleanawayfrommine,I
openedmyeyestoseeherreachingforherbag.Isteadiedherhipstokeepher
whereshewas.
Afterstrugglingtofindsomethinginher
bag,shewhippedoutacondom,lookingprettyproudofherself.
Ichuckledandpulledherchestback
againstmine.“Youwantmetomakeitallbetterbaby?”
Anotherhiprollandafirmnod.
“Up,”Isaid,spankingherasslightly.
“Takeoffyourpantsandclimbon.”
Hereyesglancedatthenarrowstaircase,
andIspokebeforeshecouldstartworryingaboutpeoplecomingup.
“Everyoneknowsnottocomeuphere,
sweetheart,andIlockedthedoorwhenIcamein.Don’tworry.”
Iunbuttonedmyjeansandloweredthe
zipper.Sheonlyhesitatedforasecondortwo,butwhenshesawmydick
proudlystandingup,waitingforher,shewasrollingdownherleggingsand
steppingoutoftheminaheartbeat.
Mybloodroaringinmyveins,Iquickly
rolledthecondomonandheldoutmyhandtoher.SheclimbedonandIgrabbed
herwaistasIloweredherdownonme
Thatfeeling.
Thatfirstslidewhereshetookmeintoher
bodyandhereyesflutteredclosed…Itwasthemosteroticandbeautifulthing
I’deverseenonawoman’sface.Hereyesstillclosed,shebitonherlipand
gavemeahalf-smileasifshewasdrunk.Hell,shehadn’tstartedmovingyet
andIwasalreadyfeelingdizzy.Insteadofgoingallthewaydown,sheheldon
tomyshouldersandliftedherselfup,keepingtheheadinherbody.Thenon
thenextdownwardmove,shesankallthewaydowntomybaseandwewaited
untilherlegsstartedshaking.
Ineverstoppedtouchingher,strokingherthighs,
pushingmyhandsunderhershirt,caressingherbareskin.
Oddly,itwasevensexytobehalf-clothed
withher.Itfeltforbiddentoslidemyhandsunderhershirtandinbetween
herthighs.Everymoan,everytremblebelongedtome.Whensherestedherpalms
onmypecsandstartedrisingandfallingfasterandfaster,itwasallIcould
dotonotspillmyselfinsideherbeforeshecouldfindherownrelease.
Shelookedamazing.Thelipbiting,the
half-liddedeyes,herpussyhuggingmydicksotightly,theeyecontact,the
moans…Iwassimplymesmerized.
Iwasfallingdeeperanddeeperforherand
weneededtohaveaseriousconversationifthiskeptpickingupspeed.
Suddenly,sheslowedhermovementsand
leaneddownformylips.InsteadofkissingmeasIwasexpectinghertodo,
shestoppedwhenourlipsweretouching.“Whyareyoulookingatmelikethat?”
shemurmured.
“Ismybabyshy?”Iaskedinaheavyvoice.
Shehidherfaceinmythroatagain,but
keptworkingmycockintoherpussy.
Puttingmyhandsunderherass,Iurgedher
totakemedeeperandfaster.
Whensheletoutalongmoan,Iasked,
“Thatgood,baby,huh?”
“Yesss,”shewhispered,herfingers
threadingintomyhair.Herlipsgrazedmyear.“Iloveitwhenyoutalktome
whenwearedoingthis.”
Ipushedherhipsdownandforcedallofme
intoher.“Whenwedowhat,sweetheart?”
Shetriedtomoveup,butIheldherdown.
“Tellme,baby.Whenwedowhat?Iwanttohearyousayit.”
Shelickedmyearlobeandthenwhispered,
“Whenyoufuckme,Jason.Isthatwhatyouwanttohear?”
IslidmyselfalittledownandOlive
squealedinmylap,roundingherarmsonmyneck.
“That’sexactlywhatIwanttohear,baby,”
Isaidwithagrowlandstartedfuckingherfrombeneath.
Shegroanedandmoaned.Shecurledher
littlefingersaroundmybicepsandheldonfortherideasIstretchedher
openandtookeverythingshewaswillingtogiveme.WhileImadehersee
stars,Ikepttalkingtoher,revvingherupmore,enjoyingthewayshegotall
wetaroundmydick.
Closertotheend,shewhimperedmyname,
herbreathhitching.
“Ilovehowyoutakeallofmewithouta
singlecomplaint,Olive.Iloveit.Iloveit,”Imurmuredintoherear.
Whenwecame,wecametogether.
Myteethgrazingherneck.
Herfingersclutchingmybiceps.
Myhandsgrippingherhips,holdingherin
place.
Herwholebodytrembling.
ChapterTwenty-EightOlive
“Lucy,whatareyoudoing?”
Herheadpeekedoutfrombehindthefridge
door.“I’malley-catting.Whatdoesitlooklike?”
Istaredatherunblinkinglyfrommyspot
onthecouch.
Hersmilewidened.“YouseewhatIdid
there?Alley?Jason?Alley-catting?”
Silence.
Iheavedasigh.“Itwasn’tasfunnyasyou
wouldthink,Lucy.”
ItwasaThursdayandJasonhadleftat
5:00AMforanearlyshoot.TheirschedulewasintenseandIwantednothingto
dowithit—notthatIdidn’tenjoyspendingtimeinhistrailerandfocusingon
mywriting,butIcouldbarelyfocuswhenhewasaroundme.
“Oh,comeon,itwas.Don’tbreakmyheart
bysayingI’mnotfunny.Idon’twanttospendmyentirenighttellingjokesto
everyonearoundmetoassertmyfunniness.”
Ignoringher,Iasked,“So,howisitgoing
withthenewroommate?Char’sfriend,Lily,right?”
“Yes,Lily.”Shescruncheduphernoseasif
shehadsmelledsomethingbad.“Notthatsureabouther.I’mgivinghermore
time.”
Finallyclosingthefridgedoor,she
ploppeddownnexttomeandhandedmeanapplewhilesheclutchedabowlof
blueberriesinherhand.
Ilookedattheappleinmyhandandthen
toLucy.“Whatisthisfor?”
“Nowthatyouaregettingitonthereg,
youneedtoeathealthiertokeepupwithJasonThorn.”Shecockedherhead,
butstaredintentlyintoherbowl.“Becauseyoudoneedtokeepupwithhim
don’tyou?Heisamachineinbed,isn’the?”
Iraisedmybrowsandtookabitefrommy
apple,butotherwisestayedsilent.
Pickingupablueberry,shegavemeaside
glance.“Well?”
Ishookmyhead.“Sorry,I’mnotfalling
forthat.Nosexdetails.Alreadytoldyouthat,Idon’tknow,athousandtimes
today?”
Sheputherbowldownonthecouchand
pulledherlegsuptofaceme.“You’renofunatall,Olive.HowamIsupposed
tolivevicariouslythroughyouifyoudon’tgivemethedetails?WhatdidI
everdotoyoutodeservesuchcruelty?”
Itookanotherbiteofmyappleandpicked
upmylaptopfromthegargantuanottoman.BeforeIopenedit,Itwistedtoface
Lucy.
Hereyeswereexpectant,herexcitement
writtenalloverherface.
“Let’smakeadeal,”Isaid.
“Great.Let’s.Ilovedeals.”Sheheldout
herhandtome.
Itookherhandandstaredstraightinto
hereyes.“YoutellmeaboutJamesonandI’llgiveyouafewsmalldetails
aboutJason.”
Sheshookmyhandenthusiastically.“Done.
YoualreadysawJameson’spenis,soyouknowthatheishung.”
Squeezingmyeyesshutasifthatwould
erasethememoryofthatimage,Iheldupmyhand,palmout.“Notthat.
God,no.Notbeddetails.IthinkIheardmorethanenoughfromthenextroom
tohaveanideaofhowheisinbed.Tellmewhatyou’redoingwith
Jameson.”IwincedwhenIsawthelookonherface.“Notintheliteralsense.
Tellmeifyouareinlovewithhim.”Thenitwasherturntowince.“Tellme
what’sgoingon,Lucy.EversincethisbookstuffandJasonstuffhappened,all
weevertalkaboutisme.EventhoughI’mquiteawareofhowmuchyoulove
talkingaboutthoseparticularsubjects,I’mmoreinterestedinyourlife.”
“Nothingexcitingisgoingoninmylife.I
likeyoursmuchbetter.”Shepoppedafewblueberriesintohermouthand
avertedhergaze.
“Lucy,please,justtellmewhyyouwon’t
datetheguy.Heiscrazyforyou.”
“Howdoyouevenknowheiscrazyforme?”
“Please,”Isaid,fightingtheurgetoroll
myeyes.“Haveyouevenseenhowtheguylooksatyou?I’lladmitheishotas
fuck.”Shegavemeaquickgrin.“Andstillheislikeapuppyfollowingyou
around.Youkeepkickinghimoutofyourbed,butwheneveryouturnaroundhe
jumpsrightbackin.”
“Hereallyishotasfuck.Wedidgood,
didn’twe?”
Iwavedmyhanddismissively.“Ihaveno
ideawhatI’mdoingrightnow,butyoudefinitelydidgood.Youshouldholdon
tohim,Lucy.”
Sheputdownherbowlofblueberriesand
sighed.“IfItalkabouttheannoyingbastard,you’llgivemeafewdetails
abouthowJasonisinbed?”
“Yes.”
“Fine.Thisiscalledblackmailbytheway,
ifyoudidn’tknow.”
Iquirkedmyeyebrowandwaitedforherto
goon.
“Fine.Ineverintendedtosleep
withhimmorethanonce,okay?Thenitjustgotoutofcontrol.Andyoudon’t
seehimatschool;it’snotlikeheisrunningaroundafterme.Heisflirting
witheverythingthatmovesandhasavagina.Ihavenoideawhyhekeepscoming
backformore.”
“Areyousureabouttheflirting?Imean,
doyouknowifheissleepingwithanyoneelse?Ifheis,Ihavenoideahow
theheckheiskeepingup.”
“OfcourseI’msure.Idon’tthinkheis
sleepingwithanyoneelsethough.”
“Ithinkheistryinggetyourattention
withalltheflirting.I’mtellingyou,thatguyisheadoverheelsinlove
withyou.Heisjustwaitingforyoutodosomethingaboutit.”
Sheroseupfromthefloorandwentbackto
thekitchen.“I’mgoingtousethisstateoftheartespressomachineandnot
talkaboutfreakingJamesonanymore.”Shepointedherfingeratmeandwiggled
hereyebrows.“AndIbelieveyouowemesomedetailsaboutyourbeloved
husband.Gimme.”
“Pfff,”Isnorted.“Husbandmyass.”
Playingwiththebuttonsontheespresso
machine,shelookedatmeoverhershoulder.“GetyourassoverheresoIcanactually
hearyou.”
Reluctantly,Iliftedmyselfupfromthe
comfycouchandmademywaytowardher.NowayinhellwasIgoingtotryto
sitonthosebarstoolsthough.Iprettymuchhatedallsixofthemwitha
burningpassion.
“Okay,youhavealimitoftwoquestions.
Choosewisely.”Ileanedoverthecounterandrestedmychinonmyhands
“Stopgrinning,youdork.”Shelaughedat
myexpression.“Okay.Justletmethinkaboutitforasecond.Closingher
eyes,shedonnedherthinkingfaceandstartedhumming.“Okay,Iwon’taskif
hewasanygood,because,duh…yourlipsareabouttosplitfromallthat
grinningyou’redoing.Iwon’taskifyoucame,becauseagain…duh…Ifeellike
Iwannaaskhowlonghelasts…nah,Iwon’taskthateither.”
Mygrinturnedintolaughter.“Comeon.I
saidsmalldetails.Asksomethingthat’sbeeneatingatyouforallthese
years.”
“Fine.Ishebig?Ijustgottaaskthat.”I
openedmymouthtoanswerbutshecoveredmymouthwithherhand.“No!Don’t
sayit;showmehowbig.”
“Okay.”Grinning,Iliftedmyhandsand
slowlystartedpartingthem.Hersmilegotwiderandwider.
“Yowza!Damnwoman.Whatisthateight,
nineinches?Youluckedout.Damn.”
Blushingalittle,Ilaughed.“Okay,doyou
haveasecondquestion?”
“Crap.IfI’dknownyouwereactuallygoing
toanswerthem,I’dhavemadealist.Ican’tdecideonthebestquestionwhen
youputmeonthespot.Okay,doeshetalkwhenyou’re,youknow…doingit?I
mean,isheadirtytalker?Becauseifheis,Imightjustpassoutrighthere
inhiskitchen,andthenyou’llhavetonursemebacktohealthandI’llgetto
stayhere.”
“Youdon’thavetopassouttostayhere,
Lucy.”
Alreadyfanningherself,shesaid,“Go
ahead,answer.Heisadirtytalker,isn’the?Hehastobe.”
“Yes.”
Hereyesalmostpoppedoutoftheir
sockets.“Thatwasn’tayesornoquestion,woman!Youhavetogivememore
thanthat.”
“Sorry.”
Shedroppedtoherkneesandputherarms
ontheedgeoftheislandIwasleaningon.“Pityme,Olive.Fortheloveof
ourfriendship.Please.”
“Yeah.Noway.”
Shetookadeepbreathandslowlyletit
out.“Ihateyou.Okay.Okay,Icanlivewiththis.Holyshit,butyouare
lucky.”
WasI?
Hewasdefinitelybeyondamazinginbed,
bestI’deverhad,butwasIreallylucky?
“I’mnotsosureaboutthat.Imean,ishe
justsleepingwithmebecausehecan’tsleepwithanyoneelserightnow?Arewe
datingnow?Arewehusbandandwife?Whatthehellarewe?”
“Easythere.”Shegotupfromthefloorand
madeittotheespressomachineagain.“You’llfigureitout.”Sheglancedat
meoverhershoulder.“Eventually.I’dsay,justkeeplivinginthemomentfor
now.Mymoneyisonyoustayingmarried,though,justsoyouknow.Isawyou
guystogether.Thereisnowayhe’llletyougo.”Turningherbacktome,she
playedwithafewbuttonsonthemachine.“Doyouhaveanyideahowtowork
thisthing?”
“Notatall,butIwouldassumeyouhaveto
plugitinfirst.”
Shehuffedandwentforthekettle.“Teait
isthen.”Herphonepingedwithanewtextandsheabandonedthekettletoget
toit.
“Whoisit?”Iaskedwhenshemadean
annoyedsound.
“Noone.”Shedroppedthephonebackinher
bagandcametomyside.“Theteawillhavetowaitthough.Ihavetohead
out.”
“Iseverythingokay?”Istraightenedfrom
theislandandfacedher.
Sherubbedhereyesandbouncedonher
toes.“Look,”shestarted.
“Uh-oh.”Thatwasnotagoodstarttoany
conversation.
“Nouh-oh.It’sjustthatI’mnotsureifI
shouldtellyouthisornot.Imeanitshouldn’taffectyouinanyway…but
maybeitwill…Ahhell.”
“Coughitup,Lucy.”
“IsawMarcusandCharkissing,”she
blurtedoutallatonce.
“MarcusandourCharlotte?”Ifrowned.“No
way.Areyousureitwasthem?Imean…how…when?”
“Sincetheyweredoingitinourliving
room…yeah,I’mprettysureitwasthem.”
“Whoaa…”Itookastepbackandleaned
againsttheedgeofthebarstool,makingthedamnthingscratchthefloor.“I
didnotseethatcoming.Doyouknowhowithappened?Imean,our
CharwithmyMarcus?Really?”
“YourMarcus?”Lucyaskedgently.
“You’reright.Notmine,Iguess.Could
thatbewhyshe’sbeenshuttingmeoutlately?DidshethinkIwouldgetmador
something?Shebarelyrespondstomycallsandtexts.Iassumeditwasbecause
ofherworkload,butnow…”
“Tobehonest,Ihadnoideaeither.I
thinkMarcusstillhasathingforyou.Healwaysdid,evenafterthebreakup.
Youshould’veseenhimwhenJasoncametocollectyourdrunkass.Ithoughtfor
surehewasgoingtoclockMarcuswiththewayhewasacting.Thenagain,from
whatIsaw,itdidn’tlooklikehewaskissingCharforthefirsttimeeither.”
“Idon’tfeelanythingforMarcus.Notany
more,”Isaidcarefully.Sowhydoesthisleaveabadtasteinmymouth?
“But,itwasn’tlikeChardidn’tseehowsadIwasafterhedumpedme.Shewas
righttherewithusalmostfromthebeginning.Wasshelustingafterhimall
thistime?”
“Ihavenoidea,babe.Iwanttohearmore
aboutthatmyself,sodon’tworry,I’llletyouknowwhatIlearn.Charisnot
sochummywithmeeithereversinceLilymovedin,butI’mgoodwithMarcus.
I’llaskhimandseewhat’sgoingon.”
“WhatdoIdo?DoIsayanythingtoherif
bysomechancewetalk?Notthatsheisdyingtogetintouchwithme.”ImetLucy’s
gazeandasked,“AmIoverreacting?Iftheyareinlove,I’dbehappyforthem,
butisn’titweirdthatthishappensjustafewweeksafterImoveout?Itjust
feelsweird.”
“Don’tthinkaboutit,okay?Youhaveother
thingstofocusonrightnow.IfCharchoosesnottotalktoyoubecauseof
Marcus,screwit.I’lltalktoMarcusandwe’llknowmoreaboutwhat’sgoing
on.”
Inodded.“Sure,butyoudon’thaveto.I
mean,it’snotourbusiness,isit?”
“Ihavetoleave,butwe’lltalklater,
okay?”
Ihuggedhertightly.Iftherewasone
thingIdidn’tlikeaboutJason’shouse,itwasthatLucywasn’tlivingitwith
me.“Imissyou,”Imurmuredintoherhair.
“Oh,babe,Imissyou,too.Especiallyyour
comfybreasts.”Shestoodnexttomeandpeeredoutside.“Youguyscouldalways
adoptme,youknow.Iwouldn’tmindcallingJasonDaddyatall.”
“Ah,please,getout.”
Holdingherhandsup,shebackedaway.
“Justasuggestion.Youguysareinamarriagenow;youshouldn’tmakeabig
decisionlikethatwithouttalkingtoyourhunkyhusband.”
“Sure,I’lldothat.”
Shegavemeamiserablesigh.“Asifyou
leavingisnotbadenough,nowI’mforcedtosleeponthecouchwhenJameson
staysover.Nocomfybreasts,nospooning…”
Istalkedhertowardthedoorwithabig
grinonmyface.“PoorLucy.I’mgettingallthespoons.AndI’mbeggingyou,
please,sleepinthesamebedwiththepoorguy.Atleastgivehimthatmuch.”
Shenarrowedhereyesatme.“You’rethe
worstfriendonplanetearth.”
“Thanks,Itry.”
***
ItwashoursafterLucyhadleftandI’d
stoppedwanderingaroundthehousetryingtodecideifIshouldcallCharto
seewhatwasgoingonornot.Itwasn’tthatIwasjealous;IknewMarcushad
datedothergirlsafterme—hehadevenbroughtafewofthemhome.Ithad
stung,butIhadn’tbeenjealous.Hell,Iwasfakemarriedtomychildhood
crush,whowasItohaveanopinionontheirlives?
But,beingwithmyfriend?Kissingher?
Sleepingwithher??
Iwasn’tfeelingverymotivatedtogetback
tothestoryIwasworkingon,butIforcedmyselftositdownandgetsome
wordsinsinceIhadplannedtowriteuntilJasongothome.Whenthescene
turnedfromemotionaltoanotherhotsexscene,Ithoughtitwouldbeagood
ideatogetontumblranddosomeresearch,lookatsomeeroticpictures
and…youknow,getmotivated.
SinceIknewJasonwouldn’tbehomeforat
leastanotherthreehours,IconnectedmylaptoptohisginormousTVvia
Bluetoothandstartedscrollingthroughsometastefulblackandwhites.After
jumpingfromonetumblrsitetoanother,Ifoundanewsitethathadallkinds
ofaudiorecordings—masturbation,edging,threesomes,fisting(holyshit!),
dirtytalk,moans,andgoodol’mfhavingsex.
Curiousandadmittedlyexcited,Ipressed
playononeofthe‘dirtytalk’soundclipsandimmediatelyflinchedwhena
deepvoiceechoedinJason’shouse:Youlikegettingyourpussyfuckedupby
thisbigcock,don’tyou?
Iwasscaredoutofmywits.Ihadnoidea
thatJasonhadin-wallspeakersinthehouse.Iloweredthevolume,butitwas
stillan…experience,tosaytheleast.
Notlikingthegirlcallingtheguy‘daddy’
andmewlingunnecessarily,Istoppedthatoneandpressedplayonanotherclip.
Andthenanother.
Andanother.
Andanother.
Ididn’tmindwatchingporn,butIdidn’t
likegoingthroughamillionvideosjusttofindsomethingthatwouldactually
exciteme.Iwasn’tafterastorylineoranythinglikethat,butwhenthegirl
isscreamingallovertheplace,fakingit,oryoudon’tfindaguyattractive,
nomatterhowmanyincheshehas,itishardtogetintowhattheyaredoing.
So,havingthefreedomtoimaginewhomever
IwantedtoimaginewhileIlistenedtosexyskinslapping,somedirtywords,
andprettygoodmoaning,Iwasahappygirl.
OnceIfoundaten-minute,homemadesound
clipofaguythatwasgroaningandmoaningjustasmuchasthegirlwas,I
closedmyeyesandpicturedJasonandmehavingsex.
Thatrightthere?Instantarousal.
Openingmydocument,Istartedtoputdown
thewordsandsoonenoughIwaslostinthem.
“Boo!”
ThemomentIfeltsomeone’sbreathonmy
neckandheardthevoice,Iscreamedatthetopofmylungsandtossedmy
laptoprightovermyhead.
BythetimeIrealizeditwasJasonwhohad
scaredmeoutofmymind,Iwasalreadystandinginthemiddleoftheottoman,
holdingmychestandbeggingmyhearttostayputwhereitbelonged.
“Whatdidyoudothatfor?Areyoucrazy?!”
Iscreamed,stillbreathless.
Jasonwasrubbinghisheadandlookingat
measifIwastheonewhohadlosthermind.“Youthrowyourlaptopatmyhead
andyouarecallingmecrazy?”
Mylaptop.
“Ohno!”
Ijumpeddownfromthesafetyofthe
ottomanandranformylaptop.“No,no,no,no.”Icouldn’tloseallthestuff
Ihadwritten.
BeforeIcouldgettoit,Jasonleaneddown
andlifteditupfromthefloor.IjerkeditoutofhishandsassoonasIwas
nexttohim.Whilethescreenwasshatteredinthetopleftcorner,the
documentIwasworkingonwasstillopenThankgod.Ihadn’tlosteverything
I’dspenthoursworkingon.
“Arewewatchingporn,littleone?”Jason
askedwithasuggestivevoicefrombehindme,andjustlikethat,thelittle
scareIhadexperiencedsecondsbeforeturnedintosomethingelse.
Somethingliketerror
IgroanedanddovefortheTV,whichwas
displayingagifofaverysexydudehammeringintoaprettybrunetteonthe
screen.However,itwasafailedattemptbecauseJasonwasquickerthanme.
“NotsofastmylittleOlive,”hemurmured
ashecurledhishandsontheedgeofthecouchandsuccessfullycagedmein.
Asifallofthatwasn’tenoughtocausemajormortification,thesecondJason
pinnedmebetweenthecouchandhisgorgeousbody,thecoupleinthespeakers
pickedupspeedintheirlovemaking,makingallkindsofskin-slappingnoises,
groaning,andcursing.Itsoundedlikesomeonewasgoingatitinchesawayfrom
ourfaces.
Jasontookmylaptopfrommyhandsand
gentlytosseditonthecouch.
“Well,mybeautifulwife,isn’tthis
somethingtocomehometo.”
“Ohmygod,”Igroanedandclutchedathis
shirtwithbothhands,thenproceededtopushmyforeheadagainsthisshoulder.
Icould’vehappilyhiddenthereforyears.
WhenJason’scheststartedtoshakewith
quietlaughterundermyhead,Iburrowedcloser.
“Please,justkillme,”Igrumbledintohis
shirt.
“Oh,Icouldn’t,sweetheart,”hesaid,
nudgingmychinupwithhisfingers.
Hehadthatlookonhisface,that
specificlookthatperfectlymatchedtheerectionIwasfeelingagainstmyhip.
Thewoman’smoansreachedtheircrescendo
andshefinallycame.
Hallelujah!
Secondslater,herpartnerjoinedherwith
hisownrelease.
Thenblissfulsilence.
Whycouldn’thavetheyfinishedjustafew
minutesearliersoJasonwouldn’tthinkIwasapervert?Wasthattoomuchto
ask?
“So…”Jasonbrokethesilenceashelooked
downatmeexpectantly.
“Welcomehome,”Isaid,forcingasmileon
myredface.“Howwasshootingtoday?Didanythinginterestinghappenonset?
Whichscenesdidyou—”
Heinterruptedme,whichIthoughtwas
quiterude.
“Idon’tthinkthosearetheright
questionstoasktoday,mydearwife.”
Thatlastword…Itmeltedmyheartand
mybrain.
“Areyouhorny?I’mnottakingcareof
you?”heaskedwhileIwastryingtorecoverfromcompletelymeltingintoa
puddle.
“Huh?”
“Youheardme.”Hetuckedahairbehindmy
ear,hisfingerslingeringonmyskin.
“Iwasjustdoingresearch,”Imumbled,
unabletolookintohiseyes.
“Research,huh?”
“Yep.TherewasasexsceneandIneededa
littleinspiration…andI…well,IthoughtitwouldbemoreauthenticifIwasin
themood.”
“Hmmm.”Hefinallybrokeoureyecontact
andbentdowntonuzzlehisnoseagainstmyneckashebreathedmein.
Hotguysniffingmealert!
Everysinglehaironmybodystoodupand
mybody—actingcompletelyonitsown—archedtowardhim.
“Let’sseeifyouareproperlyinthemood
then.”
Inmynextbreath,hisbighandswereat
thebackofmythighsandaloudsquealleftmylips.Iquicklywrappedmyarms
aroundhisneckasheliftedmeup.
“I’mgettingusedtothiswholecarryingme
awaything,”Imurmured,stillavoidinghiseyes.
“Ijustwantyoutogetthewhole
experienceright,youknow,feelitinyourboneskindathing,soyoucanwrite
agoodsexscene.”
“Allforthegreatergood,yousay?”
“Exactly.”
Whenhedippedmedownandmybackmetthe
couchpillows,Ithoughthewoulddumpmethere,butinsteadhekeptoneofhis
handsfirmlyaroundmywaist,reachedformylaptop,andopenedthesitethat
hadthesoundclips.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Iasked,myvoice
tingedwithabitofpanic.
“JustwanttoseeifIcanmakeyouscream
louderthanher.Howlongisthisthing?”heaskedafterpressingplayonthe
sameonethathadbeenplayingwhenhe’dbustedme.
Stillhugginghimwithmyarmsandlegs,I
answeredhisquestion.“Aroundfifteen,twentyminutes,Ithink.”
“Wewilldefinitelybeatthem,”hemurmured
assoftlickingsoundsfilledthehouse.
“AreweinaracethatI’mnotawareof?”
Hestraightenedusupandstartedtoheadtowardhisbedroom.
I’mtellingyou,hearingsounds—especially
lickingandslurping—comingfromthewallswastheweirdestthingever.
“Don’tyouwanttoplaywithme?Screammy
namewhileI’mpoundingawayatyou?”
Igroaned.Eveniftheaudio-pornhadn’t
donethetrick,Jasonwasdefinitelygettingmetherewithhiswords.“That
doessoundgood,but…”
“Nobuts,sweetheart.Letmehelpyouwith
yourresearch.”
Thenmybackhithisbedwithathumpand
hislipstookmymouthinascorchingkiss.
Withfrantichands,Ireachedforhisshirt
atthesametimehereachedformine.Itookhisoffinahurryassoonashe
gavemeanopeningandhetookcareofmineevenquicker.Seeingtheoutlineof
hiscockstrainingagainstthethickmaterialofhisjeansdidnothingtohelp
mecalmdownandtakeiteasyasIstruggledtoopenthedamnbutton.
Inseconds,hehadmecompletelynaked
underhim.WhenIwasbreathlessfromhiskiss,hesteppedoffthebedandtook
offhisjeansandbriefsallonhisown.Hisdarkeyesneveroncestrayedaway
frommine.
Hiserection—orwhateveryoucalledthat
monster—wasstandingupproudlyasmyattentionfocusedonthethickveinIwas
dyingtotracewithmytongue.
Puttinghishandsundermyknees,heslowly
pulledmetohimself,towardtheedgeofthebed.Inseconds,mylegswere
beingspreadopenandhisheadwasrightbetweenmylegs,lickingmeclean.
Whenhewasdone—ormoreaccurately,whenI
wasdonefor—hecrawledontopofme,hiserectionincrediblyhardandwarmagainst
myleg.
“Pointoneforus,”Imurmured,myvoicea
littlehoarsefromallthebeggingandmoaning.Thegirlwasstillbeggingfor
herrelease.
“Youweresoakingwet,Olive.Wasthatall
forme,orwasittheaudiothatgotyouthishot?”
“Both,Ithink,”Isaid,lookingawayfrom
hispersistentgaze.
“Youarefullofsurprises,”hemurmured
andlickedmylips,partingthemopensohecouldslidehistongueinside.
Inthebackground,whenthegirlcameina
rush,Jasonwasstilllazilykissingthefuckoutofme.
“Nowthattheycaughtup,whatnow?”he
askedashepressedsmallkissesonmyjawline.Hisfingersweredoing
somethingwickedtomynipplesashemadehiswaydowntowardthem.
Thesoundsofskinslappingandotherwet
soundsfilledtheroomandbeforeIcouldordermybraintoanswerhis
question,Jasonsaid,“IthinkIknowwhatthatsoundis.”
Thenextsecond,Iwasflippedontomy
stomachandJasonwaskneelingoverme,mylegsclosedupbetweenhisthighs.
“Pushyourassupforme,beautiful.”
IdidwhatIwastold.Thenhischestwas
plasteredtomyback.Hewasburningup,ormaybeitwasme?
“Thankyou,”hemurmuredagainstmyneck
andpulledallofmyhairtooneside.
Theguyintheaudioletoutalonggroan
ashekeptfuckingthegirl.
Jasonlickedmyearlobeintohismouthand
gentlybitintoit.“Isthismakingyouhot,baby?”
“Yes…”Imoaned,liftingmyassupto
invitehimin.
“Youareburningforit,aren’tyou,
sweetheart?Youwanttobefuckedlikeher?”
Outofwordsthatwouldmakeanysense,I
nodded.
“Canyouhearhowhardandfastheis
fuckingher?”Agentlebiteonmyneckandmyeyesflutteredclosed.Theguy
reallywasgoingatitatfullforce,makingthegirlcryoutwithpleasure.
“Shit,baby.Ibetsheisonfuckingcloudninerightnow.CanIfuckyou
harderthanheisfuckingher?”hewhispered,hissoftvoicecausingallsorts
ofshiverstorunthroughmybody.Hisfingertipsweretracingmyspinewhenhe
asked,“Doyouwantmeto?”
“Yes,Jason.Please,”Imumbled.
Thenhewasoffmyback,andIheardhim
tearopenacondomandrolliton.Nexthishandsweremassagingmyasscheeks.
“Oneday,yourassisgoingtobethecauseofmydeath,”hemumbledalmostto
himself,guidinghiserectionintome,stretchingmewideopen.Igroanedas
loudashumanlypossible.Itriedtopushuponmykneestoforcehimtoslide
itinfasterormaybetogetawayfromhim;IhadnoideawhatIwasdoing,
onlythatmybodyhadcomealiveandIcouldfeeleverysofttouch,everylittle
pressureagainstmyskin.
Andboywastherepressure.
Hepulledslightlyback,butthenpressed
hisentirelengthintome.
Mylegswereshakingwhenhepressedhis
kneesagainstmyhips,cagingmeunderhim.Iliftedmyarmsupandhuggedmy
pillow,buryingmyfaceintoit.
Whenhisabswerepressingagainstmyback
andhiselbowswereproppedoneithersideofmyshoulders,Itookmyfaceout
ofmypillow.
“Itmustfeelgoodhavingallofmeinside
youlikethat.Beinginsideyou…”Hetookadeepbreath.“Fuck,butitfeels
amazing,Olive.”
“Toogood,”Imanagedtosayinawhisper.
“IthinkIoweyouanorgasm.Theyare
aheadofus,sweetheart.”
“What?”Ihadcompletelyforgottenabout
theaudiocouple.Everyinchofmyskinwaspricklingwithawarenessunder
Jason.Iwastoofargonetohearanythingotherthanhisbreathandmyown
heavybreathing.
Hepulledback,almosttohistip,and
pushedbackin—hard.
Mybreathhitched.“Yes!”
“Youlikedthat,huh?”
AnotherhardthrustandIwasclawingatmy
pillow.Hepickedupspeed.
Ashekeptfuckingmeintopurebliss,he
loweredhisheadnexttomyearandsaid,“IthinkIwouldlovetocomehometo
thiseverysinglefuckingdayfortherestofmylife.”
Myheartstopped.
Thenitstartedbackupagainasmyorgasm
caughtmeoffguardwhenJasonpushedallthewayinandstartedgrindinginto
me.
Myscreamsweredefinitelylouderthanthe
girl’s,Icantellyouthatmuch.
Therewillneverbeenoughwordsto
describesharingtheperfectmomentwiththepersonyoulove,withtheperson
you’vebeeninlovewithformostofyourlife…but…assweatdrippeddownfrom
Jason’sforeheadontomyshoulderandhishipskeptslammingintomethroughmy
spectacularorgasm,IdecidedthatIdidn’tneedanywords.
Hearinghisdeepmoan,knowingthathewas
enjoyingitjustasmuchasmewasenoughonitsown.
HeslowedhismovementsandImanagedto
stoptremblingunderneathhim.Histeethgrazedmyshoulderandanothershiver
wentthroughmybody.Iwasamess.
“Ah,sweetheart…Thesoundsyoumakewhen
youcomeforme?Sofuckingdirty.”
Adeepthrustfromhimandashameless
mewlingfromme.
“Iloveit.Icanfeelitmybones.Andthe
wayyouclenchonmycock,thewayyoupullmein?Itkillsmeeverysingle
fuckingtime.”Hekissedmyneckandgentlyslappedmyass,pullingagaspout
ofme.“Ithinkwearecaughtupontheorgasms.Doyouwantmetolickyouall
cleanagain,asI’mguessingfromthesoundstheyaremakingtheyaredoing
too,ordoyouwanttorideme?”
Hepulledoutofme,buthisheatdidn’t
leavemybody.
“Havetosay,myvoteisonyouridingme,
baby.Iwanttowatchyourfacewhenyoucomeallovermycock.Icanalways
lickyoucleanattheend.”
Ididn’tmakehimasktwice.Whilewecould
stillheartheguylickinghisgirl,IpushedJasonontohisbackandsunkdown
onhiscock.
“Yes,sweetheart.Oh,fuck!Yes.Justlike
that,Olive.Takeitallin,baby.”Myhandsfoundtheheadboardandwithout
playingaround,Istartedridinghim.Iwasallshakyanddefinitelywas
mutteringsomeobscenitiesatsomepoint,butitwasallperfect.Beingwith
himfeltperfect.Ourkindofperfect.
Beautiful.
JustlikeI’dalwaysdreamed.
WhenIcamealloverhim,Ilethimwatch
whathedidtome,whathegavetome.
Everything.
***
“IfI’mnothelpingyouwithyourresearch
inonewayoranotherthenexttimeyou’rewritingasexscene,Ithinkwe’re
gonnahaveproblemssweetheart.”
Attheend,wehadheldonlongerthanthe
audiocouple,IhadcomemoretimesthanIcouldcountorremember,andeach
timeI’dbeenlouderthanher.
Wehaddefinitelywon,onallcounts.
“IthinkI’mhavingastrokeorsomething.
Ican’tfeelcertainbodyparts.”
Jasonchuckledandhisfingertraileddown
frommyshouldertowardmyhip.Iwasalreadyhalfpassedoutandlyingonmy
face.Whenhisfingerhitthecurveofmyass,hepushedthecoversoffmyback
andhishandstartedmassaging.Itriedtowiggleawayfromhishand,but
beforeIcould…
“Hey,”headmonishedmewithaserious
voice.“You’restayingrightthere.”
Igroaned.“Ifyoustartdoingthat,Iwill
startfeelingthings,andI’mnotsureI’mfunctioningenoughforthat.”
Continuingtomassagemyassfirmly,he
kissedmyneckandshushedme.“Thankgodtheaudiodoesn’treplayitself;it’s
dangeroustolistensomethinglikethatwithyouaround.”
“Mmmm,”Imumbled,actinglikeIwas
half-asleep.
“Comeon,”hesaidinanamusedtone.
“Don’tgetshywithme.Ilovethatyoulikeplaying.Youwereburningforme
theentiretime.Ibethearingthembesovocaldidn’thurteither.”
HegatheredmeupinhisarmsandInestled
againsthischest.Itwasn’tevenseveno’clock,butIsnuggledincloser.
WhenIdidn’tmakeanycomments,he
chuckledagainandbrushedakissonmytemple.“Okay,haveityourway.For
now.Whatdidyoudotoday?Imissedyouonset.”
“Lucycameoverforanhourorso.”ThenI
rememberedthatIhadn’taskedhispermissionforthat.“Isthatokay?Her
comingover?”
“Ofcourseit’sokayforyourfriendsto
comeover,Olive.Youdon’tneedmypermissionforthat.”
“ButIknowyousaidyoudon’tlikehaving
peopleinyourpersonalspace.”
“Imeantindustrypeople.Unfortunately,I
don’thavethatmanyfriends.It’shardtotrustpeoplewhenyouareoutinthe
openasmuchasIam,andsinceIpreferarelativelyquieterlife,Idon’t
havethatmanypeopleclosetome.Speakingoffriends,thereissomeoneImet
veryearlyinmycareer,Devlin.HelivesinNewYorksoIdon’tgettoseehim
thatoften,butheisopeningupaclub/loungehereandheinvitedus.Would
youliketogo?Wecaninviteyourfriends,too.Ifeelbadthatyou’rehaving
troublemeetingwiththemwithoutaseaofcamerasfollowingyouaround.”
Iextricatedmyselffromhisarms,pulled
thecoverovermyselftomakesurenothingwasshowing,andstaredatthe
ceiling.
“Ifyou’reokaywithit,thatcouldbefun.
Lucywouldlovetocome,andmaybeIcanconvincehertoinviteJameson,her
on-again,off-againone-nightstand.ButCharlotte…I’mnotsureaboutthat
rightnow.”
Jasonproppedhimselfuponhiselbowand
lookeddownatme.
God…What
wasitaboutthisguythataffectedmesomuch?Evenwhenhewasn’tshowingoff
thatdamndimpleofhis,youkeptstaringathimjustforthesheerpleasureof
it,andofcoursethepromiseofthatdimplewasn’tsomethingtoturnyournose
upat.
“Iseverythingallrightwithyoutwo?”
ForcingmyselftolookawaysoIwouldn’t
tacklehimandclimbonforonelastride,Isaid,“Apparently,LucysawChar
andMarcuskissingintheapartment.”
“And…”
“Andsheismyfriend.Isn’ttheresupposed
tobeagirlcodeofsomesortthatsaysyoushouldn’tdateyourfriend’sex?”
Histonewasdifferent,bothsofterand
tighteratthesametimewhenheasked,“DoyoustillhavefeelingsforMarcus?
Areyoujealousofher,Olive?”
Iglancedathim.“Theanswertothefirst
questionisadefiniteno.Beingjealous?Notsure,butIdon’tthinkso.
MarcusandI…We’vebeenoverforalongtime,and…heck.No,I’mnotjealousof
him.It’sjustsortofaweirdthingforCharlottetodobehindmyback.Ifshe
hadatanytimetoldmethatshehadfeelingsforMarcus,Iwould’vegotten
overit,andiftheyloveeachother…Iwouldbehappyforthem.Imean,she
hasn’teventalkedtomeaboutitsoIhavenoideawhat’sactuallygoingon.
Justafewshortmonthsago,thedayIwasmeetingwiththeproductionpeople,
Marcuscametomyroomtotellmehethoughtwewouldgetbacktogetheronce
I’dfinishedmybook.AndnowheiswithChar?Idon’tknow.It’snotangeror
jealousyI’mfeeling.It’ssomethingelse,butI’mnotsureIcannameit.”
“Iunderstand.ThewayMarcusactedwhenI
cametogetyourlittledrunkassfromtheirapartment,Iwouldn’thaveguessed
hehadhiseyesonanyonebutyou.”
“Yeah,IheardaboutthatfromLucy,too.”
“Well,”hestartedashegotupfromthe
bed,completelynaked.
Don’tlook,Olive.Don’tdoit
Butofcourse,Ilooked.
Atleastdon’tlookdown.
Oh,butIdid.
“Theinvitationisopen;youcaninvite
whomeveryouwanttoinvite.DevlinwillhaveaVIProomreservedforusso
we’llhaveprivacy.”
ChapterTwenty-NineOlive
Twodayslater,weweregettingoutofthe
carinfrontofDevlin’sclub,MadPlay.ThelogofortheclubwastwoMsintertwined
witheachotherinageometricshape.Ihadnoideawhatitmeantsinceit
wasn’ttheinitialsoftheclub,butitwascoolashell.
JasonandIhadmetwithhisfriendover
dinnerbeforeheheadedtohisclubaheadofus.Eventhoughwehadbarely
spentanhourtogether,hewasverycharmingthroughouttheentirediner—maybe
alittletoocharming,thekindthatwouldsweettalkyououtofyourpanties
ifgiventhechance.
ImagininghimwreakinghavocinNewYork
withasingleJasonhadledtoamultitudeofscenariosgoingthroughmymind.
Thosetwowouldbreakheartsleftandright,andtheyprobablyalreadyhad.On
asidenote,IhadlovedhowJasonhadintroducedmeashiswife.Iwasn’tsure
ifhewouldlethimknowthiswasallaplayforthepubliceye.Sincemybest
friendknew,I’dassumedhewouldsharethatwithDevlin,justlikeAlvinwas
inonthewholething.
SpeakingofAlvin,hewassupposedtomeet
usattheclubwithhisgirlfriend,butasfarasweknewhehadn’tmadeit
yet.
Thebiggestsurpriseofthenight,
however,wasgettingatextmessagefromLucythatsaidCharandherfriend
Lilywerecomingwithher.Nothavinganyideahowthatwouldgodown,I
decidednottodwellonitforthetimebeing.
Sincetherewouldbedrinkinginvolved,
Jasonhadadriverdropusoff.WhenIsawallthepaparazzihuddledinfront
oftheclub,IheldontoJason’shandtighterandexitedthecarrightafter
him.
Wrappinghishandmoresecurelyaround
mine,heputhisotherhandatthesmallofmybackandguidedmetowardthe
entrance.Thebulkyguardatthefrontdidn’tevencheckournamesaswewere
usheredinbeforethepaparazzicouldswarmus.
“Doesitevergeteasier?”Iasked,
slightlybreathlessfromjoggingtheshortdistance.Themusicwasloudenough
thatJasonhadtoleandowntohearwhatIwassaying.Irepeatedmyquestion
whenhewascloseenough.
“Thepaparazzi,theconstant
following…doesitevergeteasier?”
Heshookhisheadinadistractedmanner
andcurledhisarmaroundmywaist,pullingmeclosetohisbodyasabeautiful
blondeapproacheduswithasmilingface.Ofcourse,sheonlyhadeyesfor
Jasonandignoredmecompletely.Iwasgettingusedtoit.
Really.
Idefinitelydidn’twannagougehereyes
outoranything.
Thatwouldbegruesome.
“HelloMr.Thorn.MynameisDrew.We
werewaitingforyou.Ifyoucanfollowme,I’lltakeyoutoDevlin.”
Jasondidn’treply,gaveherastiff
nod,andprettymuchshatteredthegirlsdreams,judgingbythelookonher
face.
Smug,Istoodabitstraighterandgave
thegirlabrilliantsmilewhenshefinallygavemeadismissingglance.
Fuckher.
Afterwalkingthroughahallwayfilled
withmirrorsandlights,wefoundourselvesatthemouthoftheclubwhereyou
couldseetheseaofbodiesdancingundertheflashinglights.Aremixofthe
latestsongbyTheWeekndwasblastingthroughthespeakersandfromwhatI
couldsee,itlookedlikeeveryonewashavingthetimeoftheirlives.
Aswestartedfollowingthegirl,
skirtingaroundthegyratingbodies,Jasonpositionedmeinfrontofhimand
kepthishandsonmeatalltimes.
Trustinghimtoguidemeintheright
direction,Itookoutmyphonefromthesmallclutchinmyhandsandsenta
quicktexttoLucyaskingiftheyhadarrived.
BythetimewemadeittoDevlin’sside
andtheblondegaveJasononelastlonginglook,Lucyhadtextedback,saying
theywerealreadyinside.Aftersendingonelasttextthataskedhertomeetus
atthebarareawherewewere,IgaveallofmyattentiontoJason.
“Yourfriendsarehere?”heaskedas
soonasItuckedmyphonebackintomypurse.
“Yes.Itoldherwhereweare.”Ilooked
aroundmeandnoticedthatnoonewasbotheringJason.Noonewascomingatus,
beggingtotakeapicturewithhimorhavehimsignanyoftheirbodyparts.
“Marcus?”heasked,hisvoicetighter
thanIwould’veliked.
“No,”Isaidshortlyandturnedmyeyes
toDevlin.“Areyousureit’ssafeforJasontobedownhere?”
Devlinletoutasexylaugh.IfJason
hadn’tbeenmyJason,theguyIwantedtohavebabieswith,Iwouldhavebeen
contentwithjustwatchinghisfriend.“Aww,howsweetofyourlittlewifeto
beworriedaboutyou,Jason,”heyelledtobeheard.
Jason’sthumbbrushedtheundersideof
mybreast.
“So,whatdoyouthinkofmynewplace?”
Devlinasked,openinghisarms.
Sure,let’signorelittleOlive.
Despitefeelingannoyedatbeing
dismissedagain,Ihadtoadmit,hisplacedidlookamazing.Thegeneral
colorschemeofthevenuewasblack,white,andgold.Therewerewhiteballoons
dippedingoldpaintfloatingaroundtheplaceandmyhandswereitchingto
stealafewofthem.
“Itlooksamazing,”Isaid,lookingat
thefemalebartendersthatwerewearingprettygolddresses.Theguyswere
wearingblackslackswithwhitebuttondowns,complementingthegirls
perfectly.Thewholeconceptwassimple,butsexy.
“Whatshesaid,”Jasonsaidwithasexy
chinlift.
Lookingsatisfiedwiththeanswer,
Devlinnodded.“WhatcanIgetyouguys?”heasked,leaningtowardus.
“IhavetobeonsettomorrowsoI’ll
onlyhaveoneandI’lltakethatlater,”Jasonansweredhisfriendbefore
glancingdownatme.
“I’llhaveaLongIsland,”Imurmured,
lookingupathim.
God,wasitagoodtimetolickthat
dimple?Orthoselips,Iwouldhavebeencontentwithlickingthoselips…
Smilingatmeasifhecouldhearmy
thoughts,hefittedhishandaroundmyneckandbrushedasmallkissatthe
edgeofmymouth.
“Happy?”heasked,showingmeabitof
hisdimple.
Holdingontohisforearm,Ileanedup
andkissedhisdimpleasmyanswer.WhenIleanedback,hisdimplewasoutfull
force.TakingmydrinkfromDevlin,IrestedmybackagainstJason’schestand
listenedtothemtalkasIwaitedforthegirlstofindus.
Despitethethumpingmusic,IheardLucy
yellingmynamebeforeIactuallysawthem.Jasontookmydrinkfrommyhand
beforeIsplasheditallovermyprettydress.
“Youlookamazing,”IsaidtoLucy,
twirlingheraroundtocheckoutherdress.Shewaswearingablacklacedress
withaplungingneckline.Surprisingly,itwasn’tthatshort.“I’mguessing
Jamesoniscoming?”Iasked,liftinganeyebrow.
Sherolledhereyes,butherlipstipped
upwithasmile.“Maybe.”
“Maybeisgood.I’lltakethoseodds.”
ShegavemeabriefhugandthenIsawCharandLilycomingthroughthecrowd
behindus.
WhenCharspottedme,shegavemea
smallsmile.ForthelifeofmeIcouldn’tseeanythingwrongwithit.Letting
goofLucy,IhuggedCharandsaidhitoLily.I’donlyseenherafewtimes
aroundcampus,butshelookedkind.
AfterthegirlssaidhitoJasonand
Devlin,theyorderedtheirdrinks.WhenJason’sarmsneakedaroundmewhileI
wastalkingtoLily,Iturnedmyheadtolookathim,buthisattentionwason
Devlintellinghimastoryabouttheirmutualfriend.
“Canwetalkforafewminuteswhenwe
findaquietspot?”Charasked,leaningtowardme.
Ismiled.“Ofcourse.”
Sowhatiftheyweretogether?Iwasn’t
Marcus’keeper,andifCharactuallyhadfeelingsforhim,evenifthey’d
startedwhenweweredating…Well,Ihopedtheywerehappy,oratleastwould
be.So,Iwouldlistentoherandbeokaywithwhatevershewantedtotellme.
“Comeon.Let’sdance,”Lucysaid,
pullingLilytothedancefloorwithher.Motioningformetofollow,she
turnedherbackandstarteddancingwithamorethanreadytoletlooseLily.
“Doyouwantmetoshowyoutheprivate
rooms,Jason?”Devlinasked,savingmefromhumiliation.AsmuchasIlovedthe
atmosphereofaclub,Iwasn’tthebestdanceroutthere.Sure,Icouldshake
myass,doadip,jumparound,andthatsortofstuff,butIwasn’tdrunk
enoughtojumponthedancefloorquiteyet.
“Youcanstaywithyourfriendsifyou
want,”Jasonsaid,pushingmywavyhairawayfrommyface.
Ifittedmyhandintohis.“No,Iwant
tocomewithyou.”
AfterlettingCharknowthatwewere
goinguptocheckouttheprivaterooms,weleftthegirlsdownstairsand
followedDevlinuptothethirdfloorwheretheVIProomswerelocated.
“Thereisasecurityguardwaitingright
outsideeveryoccupiedroom,andyou’llhaveyourownbartendertoprepareyou
whateveryouwantfromthebar,”Devlinsaid,lettingusintoadimlylitroom.
Tomysurpriseitwasn’tcutofffrom
therestoftheclubatall.Attherightsideoftheroom,therewasasmall
balconywitharailingwhereyouhadabird’seyeviewoftheentireclub.
Sincetheprivateroomswerelocatedonlyontheleftsideofthebuilding,
therewasnowayanyonecouldseewhowasintheprivateroomsorwhattheywere
doinginthere.Idoubtedanyonelookingupfromthedancefloorcouldmakeout
anythinginthedarkeither.
Ahugeleathersectionalcoveredan
entirewallandinfrontofit,therewasanequallybigleatherottoman.The
chandelierthathungfromtheceilingwastheonlylightsourceintheroom.In
thefarleftcorneroftheroomtherewasasmallbar,fullyloaded,presumably
forthoseA-listerswhodidn’twanttowastetimewaitingfortheirdrinksto
arrive.
Asecurityguardcameinsideandpulled
Devlintothecorneroftheroom,speakinginhushedtones.
“Youwanttobringyourfriendsup
here?”Jasonasked,comingtomysideasItookintheroom.“It’snice,but
youwillbeprettyisolatedfromthecrowd,though.”
“Guys,”Devlinsaid,grabbingour
attention.“IsitokayifIjoinyoulater?Theguysarehavingaproblemat
thedoor.Ibettergohandlethat.Please,inviteyourfriendsupandusethe
roominanywayyouwant,Olive.IfyoucallouttoAnthony,whoisguarding
thedoor,he’llmakesuretosendabartenderuphere.”
“Everythingokay?”Jasonasked.
Hegavehimanodandpattedhimonhis
shoulder.“Nothingtoworryabout.Afewuninvitedpeoplemakingaruckus
outside.I’llcomebackwhenthingsaremoresettleddown,okay?”
DevlinleftandIbracedmyselfonmy
elbowsontherailingasIgazeddownatthedancefloor.TheDJchangedthe
musicandthedarknotesofKatyPerry’s“DarkHorse”filledthespace.Itwas
amoreeroticremixofit,thebasslowerandmorepowerful.
WhenIcouldn’thearJason,Ilooked
overmyshouldertoseehimclosingthedoorandturningthelightsoff.Then
hecametowardmeandpositionedhimselfbehindme.Hisarmswentaroundmy
waistandhestraightenedmeupfromtherailing.
“Don’thangovertherailinglikethat,”
hemurmurednexttomyear.Iturnedmyheadandshowedhimmyneck.Whenhe
ghostedsmallkissesonmyskin,Icouldfeelhislipstipuptoasmile.
“Thankyouforinvitingmyfriends,”I
said,feelingthemusicworkingitswayintomybloodstream.
Jasonmust’vefeltthechangeinmymood
becausehishandsstartedtravelinglowerandwhenhegotaholdofmyhips,he
pulledmebackandletmefeelhislengtheningerection.
“Youlookbeautiful.Ilikeyourdress.”
HebitintomyearlobeandIcouldn’tholdbackthemoanthatescapedmylips.
“It’soneofthedressesyourstylist
leftwithmefortheLondonpremiere.”Iwaswearingablackandbrown
AlexanderWangV-neckdress.Morethansexy,Ifeltbeautifulinit.Thehemof
thedresswasalsoshapedinV,andtherewasanopenslitintheback,too.
FeelingJason’sshirtbrushmybareskinthroughthatsmallopeningheightened
mypleasure.
“Hmmm,”Jasonmurmured.Iguesshe
didn’tcareaboutthedressthatmuch.“Weshouldgetyourfriendsuphere.I
don’tthinkI’mafanofsharingyou,butwedidinvitethemafterall.”My
toescurledinmyshoesfromthepleasurehiswordswerecausing.
Ilinkedourhandstogetherandpulled
thembackuptomywaist,ormorelikejustundermybreasts.
“I’llgogetthem,”Isaid,closingmy
eyesandmovingmyhipsalongwiththerhythmofthemusic.
Ididn’twanttogoanywhere.
“Doesmybabywanttoplayagain?”Jason
askedashebenthisheaddowntomyneckandgentlysuckedonmyskin.
Igroanedandlethimpushmylowerbody
againsttherailing.“Don’tsaythatwhenwecan’tdoanythingaboutit.”
Lettinggoofhishands,Iliftedmineupandwoundthemaroundhisneck.
Pullinghisheaddowntomylips,Ikissedhimslowly.Thenwithagrowlheslipped
histongueinsidemymouthandtookthingsfurther.
Themusicpoundinginmyhead,Ialready
feltdrunk.Thefunnythingwas,Ihadonlytakenafewsipsfrommydrink.
“Whosayswecan’tdoanythingabout
it?”
Hegrippedmychin,alittlemoreaggressively
thanIwasexpecting,whichonlycausedmorewetnesstoseepintomypanties.
HekissedmeuntilIwasseeingstarsbehindmyclosedeyelids.Whenoneofhis
handsskimmedmydressandcuppedoneofmybreasts,Imoanedintohismouth
andthreadedmyfingersintohishair.
Whenweseparatedtotakeseveralgasps
ofbreath,Iwassmiling.
“Whatareyousmilingat?”heasked,his
voiceraspyfromallthekissing.
“Nothing.”Hegavemeadisbelieving
look.“Nothing,”Irepeated.“It’sjust,IthinkIlikekissingyoualittle
toomuch,andsomehowyouseemtolikeitalmostasmuchasIdo.”
“Andthatsurprisesyou?”
“Yeah.”Hewouldn’tunderstand,but
yes…finallykissingsomeoneyou’dlongedtokissforsomanyyearsandactually
havinghimkissyoubackwithjustasmuchpassion…itwasindescribable.The
onlythingIcouldsaywasthatitdidsomethingtoyourheart,somethingthat
knockedyouonyourasswiththeunexpectedforceofit.
“Myheartisbeatingjustforyou,
Jason,”IwhisperedagainsthislipsasImadesuretolookintohiseyes.Did
heunderstandhowmuchIlovedhim?HowlongIhadlovedhim?BecauseIcould
almostfeelitpouringoutofme.
Thedooropenedandtheconnection
betweenusbroke.
Lucy’sheadappearedinthedoorway.“Is
itokayifwecomein?”
Itookastepawayfromthehotbody
thatwasplasteredtomybackandwenttoopenthedoorwidersothegirls
couldgetin.Lucyhadthebiggestgrinonherface,butmanagedtokeepher
mouthclosed.
Twotequilashotsandoneandahalf
LongIslandIcedTeaslater,Charpulledmeawayfromourlittlegrouptothe
smallbaratthecorner.
“IknowLucytoldyouthatshesawus,
butit’snotwhatyouthink,Olive,”shesaid,puttingdownherpinkcocktail
ontheglasssurface.
“Honestly,I’mnotthinkinganything.
I’mtryingnotto.Ifyouguyshavestartedsomething,I’llbehappyforyou.”
Hereyeshardenedforamoment,but
beforeIcouldevenguesswhatitwasthatIsawinhereyes,itdisappeared.
“Youdon’tunderstand,Liv.”
Againwiththename…
WhenLilyletoutabiglaughthat
reachedacrosstheroomtous,Ilookedovermyshouldertoseeherlaughing
withJasonandLucy.IsmiledwhenJasoncaughtmyeye,tookasipofhis
drink,andgavemeawink.
ChartouchedmyarmsoIturnedbackto
heragain.
“MarcusandI…”Stoppingmid-sentence,
shepickedupherdrinkandtookabigswallow.“Wemighthaveslept
together…whileyouwerestillwithhim.”
Mystomachdroppedandmyeyebrows
reachedalmostuptomyhairline.Iswallowedandgentlyputmydrinkdown.
“Pleasesayyoudidn’tdothat.”
Shegavemeasmall,sadsmile.“Idon’t
knowhowithappened,Olive.Isweartoyou,itwasn’tmorethanafewtimes,
butIknowthatdoesn’tmakeitanybetter.I’msorryIhaven’ttoldyoubefore
today.”
Afewtimes?
“YousleptwithMarcuswhileIwasstill
withhim?WhenyouknewIlovedhim?NowayCharlotte.Youwouldn’tdothat
to.”
“Youguysweregrowingapart.”Shetook
adeepbreath.“RememberthetimeyouwentbackhometoSanFranciscofora
week,afteroneofyourfights?”Ididn’tsayanything,didn’tevennod.She
sighed.“Ithappenedthen.Wewerebothhalf-drunkthefirsttimeit
happened—notsodrunkthatwedidn’tknowwhatweweredoing,butyouknow…it
madeiteasiertooverlookthefactthatyouweretogether,Iguess.”
Howniceofthem.
“I’massumingnotsodrunktheother
timesithappened,”Isaidinastonytone.
Sheshookherheadandlookeddown.“I’m
sorry,Olive.Ineverthoughtthiswouldhappentome.”
“Toyou?Whathappenedtoyou,
Charlotte?”
“You’remybestfriend,Olive.Doyou
thinkIwasthrilledtorealizeIhadfeelingsformybestfriend’sboyfriend?
Canyouunderstandhowmuchithurttoseehimwithyouafterwhathappened
betweenus?”
“Wow.ShouldIsaysorryforthe
inconvenience?”
Itookastepback.
Shegrabbedmyarmandstoppedmebefore
Icouldgetawayfromher.
“Pleasedon’tbeangrywithme,Olive.
Youdidn’tloveMarcus.Webothknewit.Youneverlovedhimlikeyoulove
Jason.”
“Howcanyoudecidethatforme,
Charlotte?OfcourseIlovedMarcus.MaybeIshouldremindyouthathewasthe
onewhodumpedme,nottheotherwayaround.”Ipulledmyarmbackandshe
droppedherhand.“Whydidyouthinkitwasagoodideatotellmethisnow?
Whybother?SomuchtimehaspassedandyoucanactuallyhaveMarcusallto
yourself.Whynotjustkeepittoyourself?”
“IthinkMarcusisholdinghimselfback
becausehethinksyou’llgobacktohim.WhateveryoudecideIwantedyouto
haveallthefacts.Wegottogether—”
Iliftedmyhandupandcutheroff.“I
don’tthinkIwanttohearanythingmoreCharlotte.”Ishookmyheadin
disbelief.“AreyouabouttotellmethatIshouldtalktoMarcusandtellhim
thatwearenevergettingbacktogether?Isthatwhyyoutoldmethis?Tomake
sureIwouldnevergobacktohimifJasondumpedme?”
“Girls?What’sgoingon?”Lucycameup
behindus.Ihadn’trealizedthatourvoiceswerecarryingovertothem.
“Olive,”Charlottesaid,ignoringLucy.
“It’snotlikethat.Ididn’tthinkyou—”
“That’stheproblem,Idon’tthinkyou
arethinkingatall,”Isaidandturnedmybacktoher.“Canwegodowntothe
bathroomorsomething?”IaskedLucy.Iwasjustrealizingthatmyhandswere
shaking.Shelookedintomyeyesandnoddedwithoutaskinganything.
Myeyeswerestartingtowater.
IglancedatJason,buthewasina
conversationwithLily,hisbrowsfurrowed,soIslippedoutbeforehecould
seethestateIwasin.Ididn’twanthimtothinkthatthiswasaboutMarcus.
Lucygrabbedmyhandassoonaswewere
outoftheroomandsteeredmedownstairs.
Wefoundabathroomonefloordownthat
wasjustfortheprivaterooms,soassoonaswegotin,Lucyguidedmetosit
downonthebenchinfrontofthemirrors.Ifmymindhadn’tbeenreelingwith
whatCharhadjusttoldme,Iwould’veenjoyedthedécorinthebathroom,but
unfortunately,IcouldbarelyseeLucykneelinginfrontofme.
“What’swrong,Olive?WhatdidChar
say?”
Afewtearsescapedmyeyesandsliddown
mycheeksbeforeIcouldwipethemaway.“ShesleptwithMarcuswhilewewere
stilltogether.”
Lucystraightenedupthensatdownnext
tome.“Saythatagain?”
Inoddedandwipedawaymoretears.Why
wasIevencrying?WasIreallysadbecauseMarcushadliedtome,hadcheated
onmewithmyfriend?Ithoughtaboutit,butitdidn’ttakehold.Itwasn’t
whatMarcushaddonethatwasbreakingmyheart.ItwasCharlotte.
Igotupandstartedtopaceinfrontof
Lucy.“WhyamIevencrying?Thisissostupid.”
“Canyoustartfromthetopandtellme
exactlywhatshesaidtoyou?”
InoddedandtoldhereverythingChar
hadsaid.
“I’msorry,Olive.Idon’tknowwhatto
say.AllIcanthinkiswherethehellwasIwhentheyweresneakingintoeach
other’srooms?”
“LookslikeIwaswhereveryouwere.I
wouldneverhavethoughtCharwoulddosomethinglikethis.”
“AreyougoingtotalktoMarcus?”
Agirlstumbledintothebathroom,
headingstraighttowardthestalls.
“WhywouldI?”Iasked,gettingoutof
thewaybeforeshecouldtakemedown.
Lucy’sphonestartedtovibrateinher
hand,sosheheldupafingertomeandansweredherphone.
“Jameson,whereareyou?”Herbrowsdrew
togetherandsheshotupfromherseat.“What?Whichhospital?”
Atherwordsmybodyfroze.
“Yes.Iunderstand.Thankyou.”
Endingthecall,shesatbackdown,then
shakilytriedtostandbackup.
“Hey,easythere,”Isaid,helpingher
up.“Tellmewhathesaid.”
Insteadofansweringme,shesaid,“He
wassupposedtobeherebynow.”
“Lucy,”Isnappedmyfingerinfrontof
herfaceafewtimes.“Focus.WhatdidJamesonsay?”
“Itwasn’tJameson.Itwasanurse.
Jamesonwasinanaccident,he…heisgoingintosurgeryinhalfanhour.”
Iwaitedtohearmore,butshejust
stoodthere,staringatmehelplessly.
“Comeon,weareleaving,”Isaid,
pullingheralongwithme.
Weexitedtheclubinahurryandjumped
intothefirstcabwesawsittingatthecurb.Thankfully,therewereno
paparazziaroundtocaptureourdeparture.
“Jason,”Lucysaidinatearfulvoice.
“Youdidn’ttellJasonyouwereleaving.”
“Iknow.Idon’thavemyphonewithme
soI’llhavetotexthimfromyourphone.Let’sjustfocusongettingto
Jamesonbeforehegoesintosurgery,okay?Thehospitaliscloseenough,we
shouldmakeitthereintime.”Igaveherhandasqueeze.Shehadn’tletgoof
iteversincewe’drunoutofthebathroom.
HergriptightenedonmineandIheard
herbreathhitch.
“Canwepleasegoalittlefaster?”I
beggedthecabdriver.
Lucydroppedherheadonmyshoulder.
“Youwereright,theotherday.Ilovehim,”sheconfessed,thenmoreheatedly,
added,“AndIhatehimformakingmefallinlovewithhim.”
“Baby,”Isaidgently,tryingnotto
laugh.“I’msureheisalreadyawareofthatfact.Evenyourprofessorsknow.”
“Ialwayspushhimaway.”Hervoice
broke.“Ididn’teventellhimthatIhatehim.HeshouldknowhowmuchIhate
himformakingmefallinlovewithhim.”
Maneuveringmyarmfromunderherhead,
Ihuggedhertomeandheldon.“Ifhedoesn’tknow—eventhoughI’mprettysure
hedoes—you’lltellhimbeforehegoesintosurgeryokay?He’llbehappyto
finallyhearthewordsfromyourmouth.We’realmostthere,sweetheart.”
Assoonasthecabdroppedusatthe
emergencyentrance,werushedinsideandfoundanursethatcouldhelpus.We
madeittohissidejustbeforetheytookhimintotheoperatingroom,but
seeinghimunconsciousandallbangedupdidn’thelpLucycalmdownatall.
Beforetheycouldwheelhimawayfromus,IheardLucy’sheatedwhisper,since
youmademefallinlovewithyou,youbettergetwellsoonsoIcantorture
youforwhatyoudidtome!
Hisdoctorassuredusthateventhough
hisinjurieswereserious,theyweren’tlifethreatening.Apparently,his
motorcyclehadcollidedwithaspeedingcar.Hehadabrokenlegandmultiple
fracturestohisshoulderbladeandforearmalongwithvariouscutsand
bruises.
“Tellmeheisgoingtobeokay,Olive,”
Lucysaidoncewesatdowninthewaitingroom.
“Heisgoingtobeokay,Lucy.
Youheardhisdoctor,heisingoodhands.”Shenoddedandkeptsilent.
“Youshouldcallhisfriends,”Isaid
aftersometime.“I’msurehe’dliketoseethemonceitisokayforhimto
havevisitors.”
“Here,Iforgot.”Shehandedmeher
phone.“YoushouldcallJasonfirst.I’msureheiswonderingwherethehell
youare.I’llcallJameson’sfriendsafterthat.”
Itookthephone.“I’llberightback.
Don’tmovefromthisseat.”
Meetingmyeyesforthefirsttimesince
we’dgottenthephonecall,shegavemeasmallsmile.“Thankyou,Olive.”
Ihuffed.“Forwhat?”
“Forholdingmeup.Forrunningoutof
therewithoutasecondthought.”Hereyesstartedtowater,butshehadasmall
grinonherfacewhenshesaid,“I’mnotsureIcould’veleftJasonThornbehind
foryou.”
“I’msureenoughforbothofus.You
wouldn’tleavehissideforamoment.Youmadethatprettyclear.”Isaid.“And
savethosecrocodiletearsforJameson;I’msurehe’llbehappytoseehowmuch
youcare.”
Shegavemealaugh;itwasshaky,butI
wouldtakeit.“Thatbastardwouldlikethat,wouldn’the?Hewouldprobably
puffouthischestandleteveryoneknowthatIcriedforhim.”Sighing,she
shookherhead.“Goaheadandcallyourhusband.I’llwaitrighthere.”
Notwantingtogotoofarawayfrom
Lucy,IfoundaquietcornerwhereIcouldstillkeepLucyinsightandquickly
dialedJason’snumber.Itrangseveraltimesandthenhisvoicemailpickedup.
IlefthimashortmessagethatexplainedwhereIwasandwhathadhappenedand
askedhimtocallmebackbeforehecamecharginginthere.Itwashisfriend’s
nightandhedidn’thavethatmanyfriendsaroundhim;Ididn’twanthimto
leaveabruptlywhentherewasnothinghecoulddoatthehospital.
TakingmyseatnexttoLucyagain,I
shookmyheadather.“Heisn’tpickingup.IlefthimavoicemailandI’msure
he’llgetbacktomewhenheseesit.”
Wesettleddowninourseatsandthe
waitinggamestarted.
Afterfourhours,Jamesonwasoutof
surgery.
Afterthosesamefourhours,therewas
stillnocallfromJason.
***
At5:30AM,IwasusingLucy’skeyto
getintotheapartment,andIwasdoingsomemajorprayingandbeggingto
anyonethatwaslisteninguptherethatIwouldn’tcomefacetofacewith
CharlotteorMarcus.WhenImanagedtosneakintoLucy’sroomwithoutwaking
anyoneup,Isighedabreathofrelief.Ididn’tactuallyknowifanyonewas
home,buttobeonthesafeside,Itriedmybestnottomakeanynoiseand
packedupachangeofclothesforbothLucyandme.Ileftthebuildingjustas
quietlyasIhadcomein.
Atthatmoment,Iwasmoreworriedabout
nothearingbackfromJason.Atfirst,I’dthoughtmaybehewasangryatmefor
notlettinghimknowIwasleavingwithLucy,butthenIthoughtmaybehe
wasn’tangryatallbutjustcouldn’tcometothehospitalbecauseeveryone
wouldrecognizehim.Ialsothoughtthatwasalameexcuse.
Butthen,whywouldn’thecallmeback?
Whywouldn’therespondtoanyofmyvoicemails?Hadsomethinghappenedbackat
theclubthatIwasn’tawareof?
Maybeanearthquakehadhit?
WhenImadeitbacktothehospital,
LucywassittingexactlywhereIhadlefther.
“Anywordfromthedoctors?”Iaskedas
Iputdownthesmallbagontheseatinbetweenus.”
“StillinICU.They’llletmeknowwhen
Icanseehim.Ileftvoicemailsforafewofhisfriends,I’msurethey’llget
downhereassoontheygetit.”
“Hisfamily?”
Sheshookherheadandfinallylookedat
me.Shelookedbetterthanbefore,butIcouldseethatshewasstrugglingto
situpstraight.Whataclusterfuckofanightforbothofus.
“Hehasanauntandagrandma,butthey
liveinFlorida.I’mnotsureifthey’llbeupforthetravel.I’lllethim
callthemhimself.Whydidn’tyouchangeyourclothesbackattheapartment?”
“Wasn’tsureifanyonewashome.”Igave
herahalf-shrugandtightenedmyhandonthebag’shandle.“Didn’twantto
riskwakingthemupwiththenoise.”
Shenoddedandturnedherheadtothe
nursesstation.Irubbedmyeyesandroseupfrommyseat.“Comeon,westick
outlikeasorethumbinthesedresses.We’llbebackinaminute.”
IguidedareluctantLucytowardthe
restroomsandquicklychangedintomorecomfortableclothes.Whiletheleggings
andflatswereactuallymyownstuffIhadleftattheapartmentwhenIwas
moving,thebaseballteewashersanditsatalittletoosnugonmychest.
“Howaremyleggingsnotcuttingoffat
yourknees?”Lucyaskedonceshewasdonechanging.
“They’renotyours,”Iexplainedwitha
smile.“Someofmine.Imusthaveleftthembehind.”
“Oh.Okay.”
“Lucy,youdon’tlooksogood.Howabout
yourestyoureyesforafewminuteswhileIwaittohearbackfromthe
doctor?”Shelinkedherarmwithmineandwewalkedbacktoourseats.
“Youdon’tlooksofineeither,”she
pointedout.
“Thanks.Howkindofyou,”Isaidina
flattoneandshegavemeasmallchuckle.I’dtakethatone,too.“Comeon,if
thedoctorcomesout,I’llwakeyou.”
Oncewereachedourseats,Lucynoticed
adoctorwearingscrubstalkingtoamiddle-agedwomanandherhandtightened
onmyarm.
“It’snotthesamedoctor,don’tworry,”
Isaid,pattingherhand.Itdidn’tescapemynoticethatthewomanwascrying
abucketoftears.
“Thankyouforcomingwithme,Olive,”
shesaidagainaswesatbackdown.
“WhereelsewouldIbe?”
Shetookagoodlookatme,thenrested
herheadonmyshoulderandclosedhereyes.“IbetbythetimeIwakeupJason
willcall.Here,takethis.”Reachingforherpocket,shehandedmeherphone.
“It’sonvibratesokeepitonyou.”
“Thanks,”Isaid,turningthephoneover
andoverinmyhands.
Inafewminutes,shewasoutlikea
light.WhileLucysleptonmyshoulder,thewaitingroomfilledandemptied
severaltimes.Noneofthevoicesdisturbedhersleep.
Earlyinthemorning,whenthedoccame
totakeherbacktoJameson’sroom,shealmostlookedlikehernormalself.
Ichosetowaitinthewaitingroomfor
awhilelonger.Afewminutesaftersheleft,herphonestartedgoingcrazy
withnotificationsinmyhand.ThinkingitwaseitherJasonoroneofJameson’s
friends,Iswipedatthescreen.
Busted!!!IsItAlready‘TheEnd’forOurFavoriteNewlyweds?
Lastnight,JasonThornandhisblushingbride
attendedtheopeningofJason’sfriendDevlinParker’snightclub,MadPlay.
Untilnowallwe’veheardfromseveralsourcesclosetothecoupleisthatthey
areintenselyhappyandinlove.Doyourememberthosesetphotosweshared
onlyafewdaysagowhereJasonwascarryingOlivetotheirtrailer?Well,
folks,seemslikethereistroubleinparadise.
Wegotthesephotosfromananonymoussourcewho
wasinthenightclubwhiletheincidentoccurredandmanagedtocaptureJason
Thorngettingcozywithablondewhoismostdefinitelynothiswife.Asyou
canseeinthefirstphoto,thegirlissittingonhislapandwhisperinginto
hisearwhilehisheadisrestingonthewall.
Whilethecouplewaspicturedtogetherentering
theclub,atthismomentwedon’tknowwhenOliveTaylorleftthehunkyactor
alone.ItappearsthatnotalliswellwithHollywood’slatestfavoritecouple.
Let’sfaceit,noneofuswouldmindsharinga
bedwithJasonThorn,butwewereoverthemoonabouthismarriagetothe
bestsellingauthor,OliveTaylor.Theirlovestory,thebook,Jasonbeingherfirst
crush…ourpointis,weweredefinitelyrootingforOlivetostealJason’sheart
forgood.However,theserecentlyleakedphotosshowedusagainthata
Hollywoodmarriagedoesnotequallong-lastingweddedbliss.
Weallknowhowthesayinggoes:‘Aleopard
can’tchangeitsspots.’Maybethefateofthisshortmarriagewassealedfrom
theverybeginning.Whatdoyouthink?
Sofar,JasonThorn’sPRteamisrefusingto
makeanycommentsonthephotosandwearestilltryingtolocateOliveTaylor
togethersideofthestory.
ChapterThirtyJason
“Youneedtowakeup,man.”
WasthatDevlin?Whatthehellwashe
doingatmyhouse?“What?”Icroaked,tryingtopushthroughthefogandopen
myeyes.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Fingerssnappedinfrontofmyface,and
thenIheardAlvin’svoice.“Doyouthinkweshouldcalladoctor?”
“Alvin?Whatthefuck?”
Iforcedmyeyesopenandhadtoclose
themrightbackwhenthebrightlightspiercedintomybrain.Igroanedand
coveredmyfacewithmyhands.“Somebodyshutoffthefuckinglights!”
“It’sdaylightboss,Idon’tthinkwe
canshutthatoff.”
Shieldingmyeyeswithmyhand,I
squintedupatAlvin’sworriedface,thenlookedaround.Iwaslyingona
couch…Ijoltedupandthatbroughtallkindsofpaintomyhead.
Jesus!HowmanydrinksdidIhave
lastnight?
“Wherearewe?”Icroaked.
“Inmysuite,”saidDevlinwitha
sufferingsighashehandedmeabottleofcoldwater.
“Thanks,”Imumbled.Idrankthewhole
thingtothelastdropanddroppedthebottleonfloor.WhenIwasdone,I
clearedmythroatandlookedaroundatmysurroundingsagain.“Whyarewein
yoursuite?”
DevlinglancedatAlvin.
“Fuck,”Icursed,droppingmyheadinto
myhands.“Myheadispounding.Whattimeisit,Alvin?AmIlatetoset?”
“Jason,”Devlinsaidinaserioustone.
“Yeah?Didn’tyoueverheardofblinds,
youlittlebastard?”
“Howdoyoufeel,Jason?”heasked
insteadofgivingmeananswer.Shit.Iwassecondsawayfromvomiting
allovertheirshoes.
“Brutal.Isuggestyoupointmeinthe
directionofthebathroom.Rightnow.”
WhenIwasdonepukingmygutsout,I
feltworsethanIhadwhenI’dwokenup,ifthatwasevenpossible.
Istumbledoutofthebathroom.“Alvin,
whattimeisit?”
“Sitthefuckdownforaminute,”Devlin
barked.
“Keepyourdamnvoicedownforfuck’s
sake.Whatthehelldidyougivemetodrinklastnightanyway?”
“Ididn’tgiveyouadamnthing,Jason.”
Iploppeddownonthecouchagainand
startedmassagingmytemples.Alvinwasstillhoveringaround,butDevlinsat
rightacrossfromme.Hedidn’tlookanybetterthanIdid.
Frowning,IturnedtoAlvin.“Where’s
Olive?”
“Look,”DevlincutinbeforeAlvincould
sayanything.“Look,Jason.You’reintrouble.Hell,I’mintrouble.”
“Explain,”Iordered,steelingmyself.
IfhehaddoneanythingtoOlive,ifhehadsaidanythingtoupsether—
“I’vebeenquestioningmystaff,the
onesthatcameincontactwithyouintheclub.And—”
“Why?”
“Shutupandlisten.Wethinksomeone
spikedyourdrink.”
“What?”Ithunderedandscrambledupto
myfeet.“WhereisOlive,Alvin?”Iyelled,ignoringmybraincursingmefor
thequickmovement.
“Wedon’tknow,boss,”Alvinanswered
quietly.
“Whatthefuckdoyoumeanyoudon’t
know?Herfriends?Wherearethey?Askthem.”
“Look,”Devlinstartedagain,andItook
astepforward.Ifhesaidlookonemoretime,Iwaspunchinghisgoddamned
face.
“Iwaslatelastnight.WhenIfinally
madeittotheclubandDevlinescortedmeuptoyourprivateroom,Ifoundyou
beingalittletoofriendlywithoneofOlive’sfriends,”Alvinexplained,
stealingthewordsfromDevlin’smouth.“Idon’tknowwhathappened,butIknow
youwouldn’tcheatonOlive.Notlikethat.”
Myeyeswidenedinshock.Irakedmy
handsthroughmyhairandturnedtoAlvin.Devlinwassittingwithhishead
bowed,quiet.
“Areyoufuckingwithme?Fuck!I
wouldn’t.Never.Ididn’t.Damnit!”IgrowledasIpickedupavasethatwas
onthetableclosetomeandthrewitatthewall,bleaklywatchingitshatter
intopieces.
“Whatdidyousee?WhatwasIdoing?”I
askedthroughgrittedteeth.Iwastryingtospeakcalmly.
“Shewasinyourlap,man.”
Goddammit!
Istartedpacingandwhenthewallwas
rightinfrontofme…Ijustpunchedit.
Itseemedlikeagoodideainthat
moment.Withthefurybuildinginsideme,Icould’vebroughtdownthewhole
buildingdownjustwithmyhands.
Ignoringmybloodyknuckles,Islowly
walkedbacktothecouchandsatdown.Myheartwasracingoutofmydamn
chest
“Pleaseexplain,”Ifinallysaidwhenmy
breathingwasundercontrolandIdidn’tfeellikekillinganyoneandeveryone.
Alvinsatdownontheotherendofthe
couch,keepinghiseyesonmetheentiretime.“Idon’tknowmuch,Jason.
That’showwefoundyou.Don’tyourememberanything?Shewasinyourlapand
youweremakingout,Iassume.Idon’tknow,man.Maybenot?Herhandswereall
overyouandyouwerejustsittingtheredazed.”
“Whichone?”
“Whichone,what?”
“Whichoneofherfriends?”Igritted
betweenmyteeth.
HeglancedatDevlinsoIliftedmyhead
tolookathim,too.“Lily,”Devlinsaidafterthinkingaboutitforaminute.
“IrememberOliveintroducingherasLily.Oneoftheblondes.”
“Noonewasintheroom?”
“Justyoutwo.Couldshebetheonewho
spikedyourdrink?Becausenoneofmystaffwoulddosomethinglikethat.I
handpickthem,youknowthat.Andeveniftheycould,whywouldthey?”
“SheisOlive’sfriendforfuck’ssake,
whywouldshedosomethinglikethat?”
“Exactlyhowmuchdoyouremember?”
Alvinaskedagain.
Ithoughtaboutit.Whatthehelldid
Iremember?IrememberedgoinguptotheprivateroomwithOlive.Iremembered
kissingher,wantingtodomuchmoretoherthanjustkissing.Icouldstill
feelherlipsonmine,herhandsinmyhair.ShealwaystrembledwhenIkissed
her,asifmytouchsentsmallshockwavesintoherbody,andIloveddrinking
italldown.Isimplylovedbeingnearher,touchingher…
Ishookmyhead.
“Notmuch.Idon’trememberOlive
leaving.IremembertalkingtoLucyandLily,butthat’sit.Didyoucallher?”
Alvingrimaced,andIhatedit.“We
couldn’tfindyourphone,butherhandbagwasnexttoyou,andherphonewasin
it.But,”headdedhastilybeforeIcouldexplodealloveragain.“Icalled
Lucy.Sheisn’tansweringrightnow,butI’llkeepcalling.Don’tworry,
Jason.”
“Tellhimtherest,”Devlinsaiddarkly.
“Whatrest?”Iglancedbetweenthem
Anothergrimace.Thisonewasworse.If
IneversawAlvingrimacelikethateveragain,itwouldbetoosoon.
“Someoneleakedphotosofyouandthe
girl.EverymediaoutletisrunningwiththestoryofyoucheatingonOlive.”
ChapterThirty-OneOlive
Icontemplatedgettingonabus,butIhad
enoughmoneytohoponaplane.Iwasadamnbestsellingauthornow;theleast
Icoulddowasbuyaplaneticketbackhomewithoutcountingeverycentinmy
bankaccount.
SoIdidjustthat.
First,IracedtoJason’shouse.Being
marriedtoafuckingactorhaditsperks,likehowyoudidn’thavetocarry
yourwalletwithyouwhenyouweregoingoutwithsaidactor.Thesmallest
clutchcouldholdyourphoneandmaybealipstick,butthat’sit,whichiswhy
Ihadtostopbythehousetograbafewpersonalitems,achangeofclothes,
andofcourse,myID.
Ididn’twanttothinkaboutit,butitwas
hardnottonoticethathehadn’tcomebackhome.Wherehe’dspentthenight…I
didn’twanttothinkaboutthateither.
By12:30PM,IwasinSanFrancisco.
At2:00PM,Iwasstandinginfrontofthe
doorofmychildhoodhome,wherethiswholemesshadstarted.
Itookadeepbreathandliftedmyarmto
knockonthedoor.
Mydadopenedthedoor,andwespentafew
silentsecondslookingateachother,whichonlycausedmylipstotipdownand
tearstostartflowingfreelydownmycheeks.
“Baby,”hesighed.
Iwipedatmytearsangrily.WhywasIeven
crying?
“Iknowyouareangryatme,but—”
Iburstintomoretears.
Pathetic,Iknow.
Butthen,Iwasinmydad’sarmsandhewas
whisperingthemostbeautifulwordsintomyear.
Itwasworthbeingapatheticlittlewimp.
There,Iwassafe.
Itfeltsogoodwhenhewashuggingmeso
tightly.Icouldletgoofeverythingandknowthathewouldtakecareofhis
girllikehealwaysdid.Whocouldhurtyouwhenyourdadhadhisbigarms
aroundyou?Whowoulddarebreakalittlegirl’sheart?Didn’teverywomanfeel
likealittlegirlwhentheirdadgavethemagoodhug?Didn’teveryonejust
wanttostaythereuntilthemonsterswentaway?
No?
Well,goodforyouandyourindependence
then.Popsomechampagneandcelebrate.Congrats,youmadeitintoadulthood.
Me,notsomuch.Iwouldtakemydad’shugsoveranything.
“Logan,whoisat—Olive?Oh,sweetheart.”
WhenIheardmymom’svoiceandfelther
handsoftlybrushingmyhair,Iburiedmyfaceharderintomydad’schestand
letthemlovetheirlittlegirl.
ChapterThirty-TwoJason
Afterlivingthroughtheworstmorningof
myfuckinglife,wehadfinallyfoundLucyatthehospitalwithherboyfriend.
Shelookedlikeamessherself,andIcouldn’timaginewhatshe’dgonethrough
whilewaitingforherboyfriendtocomeoutofsurgery.I’dlearnedthatOlive
hadbeenwithhertheentiretime,whichwasprogresssincewecouldn’tfind
heranywhere.ShehadleftwithLucyandspenttheentirenightatthehospital
whileIwasoutofit.
Itwasamiracleweevenmanagedtogetthat
outofhermouth.ShehadseenthenewscoverageandwasjustasfuriousasI
was,ifnotmore.Theonlydifferencewasshewasreadytoattackmeand
havemyballsforherfriend,notthebastardwhohadspikedmydrinkor
takenthephotos.
Ittooksometime,butweexplainedwhat
wasgoingonandshelookedlikeshewantedtobelieveus.Aftersomebegging
onmypart,shetoldmethatOlivehadflowntoSanFranciscohoursago.
At10:00PM,Iwasonaplane—fuckwaiting
foraprivatejet—flyingtoSanFrancisco.
***
Itwasweirdbeingintheneighborhood
whereyouspentabigandveryimportantchunkofyourchildhood.Allthe
houseslookedthesameasIremembered;eventhedamnairsmelledlikeithad
backthen.Thehousemymotherhaddecidedtotakeherownlifeinwasstill
thesame,too.Sure,itlookedmorelivedin,andtherewereflowersthat
hadn’tbeentherewhenIwasateenager,butitwasrightwhereithadbeen,
tuckedamongthememoriesIwantedtoforget.
Ihopedthefamilywhowaslivinginitnow
wasahappierandmorefunctionalonethanourshadbeen.Ihopedthekidswho
weregrowingupinthehouseweren’twitnessingtheirmotherslowlylosingthe
lightinhereyesfornogoodreason.Ihopedthattheyhadanotherhousethey
couldspendtheirtimeinifthingsweren’tgoingthatgreatforthem,someone
tocareaboutthemlikeLoganandEmilyhadcaredaboutme.
Rightthen,standinginfrontoftheir
houseinthemiddleofthenightdidn’tfeelasscaryasIhadthoughtitwould
feelwhenIwasontheplane.Itwasmorelikecomingbackhome,andthatwasa
goodfeelingforsomeonewhohadn’thadagoodhomeformostoftheirlife,
someonewhohadlostbothhisparentsalongthewayandforaverylongtime
hadn’thadarealthingtoholdontowhenthingsgotrough.
Maybeitwasn’tasscaryasIhadinitially
thoughtitwouldbe,butIwasstillamess.Apartfromfeelinglikeamess,I
alsolookedlikeafuckingmess.
Afterspendingtenminutesinfrontof
theirhouse,notknowinghowOlive’sparentswouldreacttoseeingme,not
knowingifOlivewouldevenagreetoseeme,Isuckeditupandknockedon
theirdoor.
WhenDylanopenedthedoorandhiseyes
hardenedwhenhesawwhowasstandingontheirporch,Iwasstilltryingtoget
overtheshockofseeingmybestfriendaftersomanyfuckingyears.
Dylandidn’thavethatproblem.
Mylipsspreadoutinasmile,butthatwas
amistakebecausehiswholebodytightened.Insteadofbeinghappytoseeme
againlikeI’dhopedhewouldbe,hesteppedoutofthehouseandquietly
closedthedoorbehindhim.
“Whatareyoudoinghere,Jason?”
“Dylan.Shit,man.”Itriedtostopmy
smilefromspreadingoutmore,but…hell,hewasmybestfriend,andithadbeen
yearssinceI’dseenhim.“Man,it’sreallyfuckinggoodtoseeyou.”
Hisexpressiondidn’tchange.
“I’llaskagain.Whatareyoudoinghere?
Don’tyouthinkyoudidenoughdamagetoheralready?”
Idroppedmysmile,butitwastoolateto
bracefortheimpacthiswordscaused.Ifhewantedtoactlikeapieceof
shit,sobeit.SocouldI.
“Icanseethatyoudon’tcaretoseeme.I
guessit’sagoodthingIdidn’tcometoseeyoueither.I’mhereformywife.”
“Wife?”Hegaveahumorlesslaugh.“Cutthe
crap,Jason.Webothknowthatit’sjustagameforthepubliceventhoughshe
refusestoadmitthat.Youareusinghertolookgoodandsheistoostupidto
careaboutiteventhoughsheknowsitherself.”
“Youdon’tknowanythingaboutus,Dylan.”
“Aboutus?Thereisnoyouand
her,Jason.Doyouknowthatsheisinlovewithyou?Hell,she’sbeenin
lovewithyouformostofherlife.Areyougoingtokeepplayingthisgame,
knowingitwillkillsomethinginherwhenyoufinallygetboredwithit?”
Iloweredmyheadandsqueezedmyhands
intofists.
“Idon’twantyoutoseeher,andIwant
youtoturnaround—”
“Idon’tcarewhatthehellyouwant,
Dylan,”Isaidinalowvoice.Hestoppedspeaking.“Iwillgetthroughthat
doorevenifIhavetodeckyoutodoit.”
Heliftedaneyebrowandcrossedhisarms
againsthischest.“Tryit,”hesaid.“Givemeagoodreasontofuckupyour—”
“I’minlovewithyoursister,youidiot.”
Itookastepforward,gettingintohisface.
Hiseyesnarrowedonmeandhetookastep
forwardwithclenchedfists.“Youlyingsonofabitch.”
Beforehecoulddoanything,thedoor
behindhimopenedandhisfatherwalkedout.
“That’senough,Dylan,”hesaidina
gravellyvoice,shuttingthedoorgently.
Ifroze.MyhandsflexedandIswallowed.
InfrontofmestoodthemanIhad
idolized,amanwhoknewhowtotakecareofhisfamily,amanwhodidn’tshy
awayfromshowinghislovetohischildren,tohiswife…eventotheneighbor’s
kid.
Justlikethehousesaroundus,helooked
justthesame.Hehadmorewhitehairandthesmilelinesaroundhiseyeswere
deeper,butthosebigshoulders,thestance,andeverythingelsethatmadehim
whohewasjustthesame.
Hell,whydidhehavetocomeout?I
couldn’tdeckLogan.IwouldhappilygetintoafightwithDylan,butnotwith
hisfather.
Itookastepbackandtriedtoloosenup
mymuscles.
“Idon’tlikethereasonyouarehere,but
it’sstillgoodtoseeyou,Jason,”Logansaidafterforcefullymovinghisson
outoftheway.Therewasasmallsmileplayingonhislips.MaybeIstillhad
ashotatgettingtoOlive.MaybeLoganwouldbelieveme.
Feelinglikeaseventeen-year-oldagain,I
rubbedthebackofmyneckandlookeddownattheground.SurelyIwasn’t
tearingup…right?
“Youhavenoideahowgooditistosee
you,too,sir.”
Henodded.“I’massumingyou’rehere
becauseyouwanttoseeOlive?”
IgaveDylanahardlookandkeptmyeyes
onhimasIansweredhisfather’squestion.
“Yes,I’mhereforOlive.”
“You’renotseeingher,”Dylansaidashe
tookanothersteptowardme.
Thebastardwasjustitchingtogethisass
kicked.
“Dylan,that’senough,”Logancuthimoff
again.“Simmerdown.”Turningtome,hesaid,“Let’shaveatalkbeforeyousee
her,isthatokay?”
“Ofcourse,”Iagreedaswebothsatdown
ontheporchsteps.Wisely,Dylanchosetostandnexttothedoorinsteadof
gettinginmyface.Ifhethoughtheevenhadachanceofstoppingmefrom
goingintogetOlive,hewasinforasurprise.
Iwouldfuckhimupwithoutasecond
thought.
“Oliveisnotsayingmuch,soyou’llhave
tobetheonetotellmeexactlywhat’sgoingonhere,Jason.Iwanttohearit
inyourownwords,notsomespeechyourpeoplepreparedforyou.”
Ifrowned.“I’lltellyouanythingyouwant
toknow.Iwon’thideanythingfromyou.”
“That’snotthevibeIgotfromOlive.I
thinkshewastryingtoshareaslittleaspossiblewithus.”
Ishookmyheadandrubbedmyforehead.
“Thatwasbefore.”
“Andnow?Didsomethingchange?”
“Yes.”Irubbedmyforeheadsomemore.
“Yes,everythingchanged.”
“YoumarriedOlivesoitwouldlookgood
foryou,isthattrue?”
Iflinched.Jesus!Aninterrogation
wasnotwhatIneeded.
“Yes.”Isighed.“Yes,mypublicistthought
itwouldsavemycareeraftereverythingI’ddone.WhenIsawOliveandacted
like…andtheneveryoneelsesawustogether…”
Ididn’tfinishmysentence.
“Isee.Andnow?Whatisdifferentnow?”
Iliftedmyheadandlookedintohiseyes.
Icouldn’tdecideifhewasangrywithmeornot,butIansweredhonestly.“I
fellinlovewithyourdaughter,sir.”Lookingovermyshoulder,IgaveDylana
hardlook.“That’swhatchanged.”
“Andyouthinkmydaughterlovesyoutoo?”
BreakingeyecontactwithDylan,Ifaced
forwardagain.“Idon’tknow,”Iadmitted.“ButI’mhopingthattheansweris
yes.”
“Sowhyisshehere?Wesawthenews.If
youareinlovewithherlikeyousayyouare,whathappened?”
Itoldhimeverythingthathadhappenedthe
nightbefore,exceptthepartwheremydickwasroaringtogetintohis
daughter’stightlittlebodyinpublic,ofcourse.ThatIkepttomyself.
ThemoreItalkedandexplained
everything—notjustthatmydrinkhadbeenspiked,buteverythingthathad
happenedbetweenOliveandme—themoreDylan’sstancerelaxedandhegotcloser
tous.
AfterItalkedforIdon’tevenknowhow
long,Logansmiled,pattedmyshoulder,androseupfromthesteps.
“I’llleaveyoutwofriendstocatchup.
Oliveissleeping,butyoucanstayheretonightandtalktoherinthe
morning,Jason.I’msureEmilywouldlovetoseeyou,too.”
StoppingnexttoDylan,headded,“She
isn’takidanymoreDylan.Sheisoldenoughtomakeupherownmindabout
Jason.Don’tinterfere.”
Whenhegotinsideandclosedthedoor,
Dylantookhisdad’sspot.
“Soyoureallyloveher,huh?Haveyoutold
herthat?”heasked,soundingtired.
Ialreadyfeltdeadonmyfeet.
“Howniceofyoutobelievemenow,”Isaid
alittlepointedlyasIglaredathim.Fuck,Iwastoodamntiredtofightwith
himifhedecidedtobeajerkaboutthis.“Givemeabreak.Ijustrealizedit
today.Ispentmyentiredaytryingtofindoutwhereshewashiding.”
“Yousoundsurprisedeverytimeyousayit,
andyoukeepsayingitoverandover.”
“Ifyouhaveaproblemwithmebeingin
lovewithher,keepheroutofit.Idon’twantyoutosayanythingthatwill
upsether,”Igrindedout,lookingatthehouseacrossthestreet.Iwondered
ifMr.andMrs.Kealeystilllivedthere.
“You’reprotectingmysisterfromme?”
“Yes,”Isaidsimply,givinghimahard
glare.“Youneverknewhowtokeepyourmouthshutaroundher.Iwon’tletyou
saysomethingstupidandbreakherheart.Idon’tcareifyouareherbrother
ornot.”
HecockedaneyebrowandgavemealookI
couldn’tevenbegintoname.
“Huh,”hegrunted.
Weweresilentforseveralmoments.
“WhatareyoudoinginSanFrancisco,
anyway?”Iaskedwhenthesilencebecametooheavy.Iwantedtogoinandtalk
toOlive,butLoganhadsaidshewassleeping.Wassheokay?Wassheangry?
Sad?Disappointedinme?
“Mywife’sbestfriendhadababy.
We’revisitingfortheweekend.”
Thatmadesense.
Moresilence.
“Didyoufeelanythingforherwhenwewere
kids?”Dylanasked.
Ihadaskedmyselfthesamequestionover
andoveragain,butIstilldidn’thaveananswer.
“Idon’tknow,”Isaidwithasigh.“I
don’tthinkso.ImeanshewasmyOlive,too,youknow.Iwasyourfriend,but
IenjoyedbeingaroundherasmuchasIenjoyedbeingaroundyoursorryass.”
Thatmadehimchuckle,soIrelaxedmore.“But,no.Iwouldn’tcallitlove.
Shewastooyoung.Yeah,maybeshehadacrushonme,butitwasprobably
becauseIwastheonlyboythatwasaround.Idon’tthinkitwasanythingbig.”
“Youwouldthinkso,”hesaidashekicked
asmallstonewithhisfoot.
“Whatdoesthatmean?”
Heshookhisheadandrubbedhisface.“It
wasmorethanjustacrush,man.Iwasconstantlywarningherawayfromyou
withoutbeingtooobviousaboutit.Doyourememberagirltextingyou,just
beforeyour…beforeyouhadtomove?”
Ithoughtaboutit,butIcouldn’tremember
anythingspecific.
“Someonefromourclass?”
“No.Arandomgirl.”
“HowthehellamIsupposedtoremember
that?”
“ItwasOlive.”
“What?”Iturnedmyheadtolookathimso
fastthatIheardsomethingsnap.ThenIchuckled.“IthinkIwouldknowif
Olivetextedme.Ihadhernumber.”
Anotherannoyingsigh.“Ithinkshe
borrowedthephonefromherfriendorsomething.Mypointis,shewastryingto
talktoyou.Evenbackthen,shewastakingrisksjusttobeclosetoyou.I
havenoideawhatherplanwaswithtextingyou,but—”
“Andyouknowthishow,again?”
“I’mtryingtotellyou,youidiot.You
toldmeyouweretextingwithagirl,thenwhenyouweredownstairsIwentinto
Olive’sroomtocheckonherandfoundaphoneinherbed.Sinceitwasn’ther
ownphone,Ipokedaround,andimaginemysurprisewhenIfoundyourtexts.”
“Whatdidyoudo,Dylan?”
“WhatdoyouthinkIdid?Itookyourphone
andtextedher.”
ChapterThirty-ThreeOlive
WhenIfirstrealizedthatI’dfallen
asleep,therewasstilldaylightoutsideandIcouldhearDylan’sraisedvoice
comingfromdownstairs.Ignoringhim,Ipulledthecoversovermyheadand
resumedmysleeping.Ididn’twanttodoanythingelseanyway.
Thesecondtime,IwokeupbecauseIwas
suffocatingunderthecoversanditwasstilldaylight.Switchingtoalighter
cover,Ilostsomeofmyclothes,too.
ThethirdandfourthtimeswerebecauseI
wasuncomfortableinmyownskin.
ThenIstartedtossingandturningtoo
much.Isimplyhatedeverything.Atleastitwasfinallydarkoutside.
Thefifthtime…ThefifthtimeIwokeup
becausesomeonewasgettinginbedwithme.
Ididn’topenmyeyes,butIknewitwas
Jason;I’dknowhisscentanywhere.Mybodytensed,butItriednottomakeit
tooobviousandtriedevenhardertokeepmybreathingundercontrol.
Dylanwaspissedoffenoughfortheentire
family;hewouldn’thavelethiminthehouse,letaloneclimbupinbedwith
me,sowhatwashedoinghere?Ididn’thavetowaittoolongforananswer.
“Yourmomfixedmethecouch,butIsneaked
uptoyourroom,”Jasonwhispered.“Wehavetobequietsoyouridiotbrother
doesn’tbustinheretryingtoprotectmywifefromme.”Hepaused.“Youhave
noideahowweirditistobebackhere,Olive,buttobesneakingintoyour
roomlikethis…forsomereasonthatdoesn’tfeelweird.”
Ididn’tmove,buthecontinued.
“Olive…”Therewasalongsigh.“WhendidI
startmissingyouthismuch,sweetheart?WhendidI…”Anothersigh.“Iwasso
worriedwhenAlvinsaidtheydidn’tknowwhereyouwere.”
Moresilence.
Slowly,hepulledthecoversdown,andhis
fingertipstouchedmybareshoulder.
Damnit!Why
hadIthoughtitwassmarttosleepinatanktopandmyunderwear?Ishould’ve
letmyselfsuffocateinpeace.Whenhisfingertipsreachedmyhipandhe
realizedthatIwasn’twearingmuchunderneaththecovers,hesuckedina
breathandletthecoverrestonmythighs.
Myheartbeatinginmythroat,Iwaitedto
seewhathisnextmovewouldbe.Maybehehadcometosaywehadtogeta
divorce?Ifthesewereourlastmoments,Iwantedtosavoreverysecondofit.
Iknowwhatyou’rethinking,butdidyou
hearthepartwhereIalreadyacknowledgedthefactthatIwaspathetic?
“Isyourheartstillbeatingjustforme,
Olive?”heaskedsoftly,hisvoicelowandsweet.
Iclosedmyeyestighter.
“Iwonderifyoucanfeelmytouchinyour
dreams…ifthat’swhyyourheartisbeatingsofast.”
Hissoftwordsawhisperonmyskin,Ilet
hisfingertipstraileveryinchofmybody,seducingmyheartbeforemymind
couldputastoptoit.
“Imissedyou,baby.IfIkissyou,Olive…”
Ifeltthetouchofhiswarmlipsonmyshoulderjustbeforehemovedcloser.A
shiverwentdownmyspineandIwastoolatetoholdinmysmallgasp.Jason
continuedasifhehadn’theardme.“IfIkissyouwillyouwakeupandplay
withme?Iwanttofeelyourlipsonminesobadly,Olive.Willyoupleasestop
pretendingtobeasleep,baby?”
HeknewIwasawake.Tootiredforgames,I
openedmyeyestoadarkroom.“Whatareyoudoinghere,Jason?”Iwhispered
aftersometime.
“Willyoulookatme,sweetheart?Please.”
Iturnedtofacehim,butwewerealittle
toocloseformycomfort,mychildhoodbedbeingtoosmalltokeepa
respectabledistancebetweenus.Still,IbackedawayuntilIwaslyingonthe
veryedgeofthebed.Ikeptmyeyesdownonthesheets.
“CanItellyouwhatIrememberfromlast
night?Willyoulistentome?”
“DoIhaveanyotherchoice?Youareinmy
bedandIhavenootherplacetorunto.”
Icouldbarelyseewiththeonlylight
comingfromoutside,buthestillliftedmychinsoIcouldlookathiseyes.I
focusedonthestubbleonhischeeks.
BecauseI’marebellikethat.
“Ineverwantyoutorunawayfromme
again,littleone.Ifyoudo,Iwillalwayscomeafteryou.Iwantyouto
rememberthat.Thatbeingsaid,Iwillnevergiveyouareasontorunawayfrom
meeither.”
Again,Istayedsilent.
“ThelastthingIrememberfromlastnight
isgoinguptotheprivateroomswithyouandtryingtofigureoutwhatIcould
saytoconvinceyoutoletmehaveyouupthere.”
HisfingertipstouchedmylipsandI
flinched.Heignoreditandgentlystrokedmylips.
“ThenIkissedyou,Olive,didn’tI?I
alwaysrememberkissingyou.”
Iwouldneverforgethowitfelttohave
hislipsonmineeither.Itwouldalwaysstaywithme.
Damnthosetearsrushingtomyeyes!
“IalsoremembertalkingtoLucyandLily,
butafterthatIremembernothing,Olive.”Hepausedforaminute.“Doyouknow
whereIwokeupthismorning?”
Iflinchedagainandbracedmyself,but
insteadofcontinuingwithhisstory,hebrushedmyhairback.
“You’reshiveringsweetheart.Iwishyou
wouldcomeclosersoIcouldwarmyou.”
Ididn’tmove.Whenhewassatisfiedwith
myhairplacement,hesighedandpickedupfromwherehehadleftoff.“Iwoke
upinDevlin’shotelsuite.Alvinwasthere,too.Theythinksomeonespikedmy
drinkbecauseIwasactingweird,andwhenIwokeupIcouldn’tevenremember
whereyouwere.”
Itensed.
“WillyoucomeclosersoIcanholdyouin
myarms?You’reabouttofalloff,andI’mafraidDylanwillbargeinto
protectyoufromme.”
“Heknowsyou’reinmyroom?”
“Notyet,andI’dliketokeepitthat
way.”
Helinkedhishandwithmineandgaveita
gentletug.Reluctantly,Iscootedforward.WhenIwascloseenough,hishand
sneakedaroundmywaistandhepulledmeflushagainsthischest,restinghis
headontopofmineasIdiscreetlybreathedinhisscent.
Hislongsighsoundedlikehewasrelieved.
“Idon’tknowhowI’mgoingtomakeyou
believeme,Olive,butIhopeyouwill.WhileIwassleepingitoff,Devlin
questionedhisentirestaff,butotherthanthatonedrink,Ididn’thave
anything.Noonecould’veslippedanythingintomydrinkbecausethebartender
prepareditintheroom,yousawityourself.”
Somewhereinthehouse,someoneopeneda
doorandwefellsilent,ourbodiestensewiththeinterruption.Afewseconds
later,thebathroomdooropenedandclosed.
Whenthecoastwasclearagain,he
continued,talkinginhushedtones.“ItookAlvinwithmeandwenttoyour
apartmenttolookforLucy,butshewasn’tthere.WhenIfoundLilyinstead,I
kindalostit.Imighthavescaredheralittle,butitwasworthitbecause
sheadmittedtomessingwithmydrinkwithCharlotte.AccordingtoLily,itwas
Charlotte’sideatotakepicturesofmetoleaktothepress.Idon’tknowhow
muchofitisalie,butthatwaswhatshewasgoingwith.”
Ihadn’tevenrealizedIwascryinguntil
Jasonliftedhishandtosoftlywipeawaymytears.
“Asiftheyhadn’tdoneenoughdamage,one
ofthemalsocalledthetabloidsasananonymoussourcetosaythatour
marriagewasfake.”
Bewildered,Ishookmyhead.“Itcouldn’t
beLily.Idon’tevenknowherallthatwell.ButIsweartoyou,Ididn’ttell
Charlotteeither.OnlyLucyknows.”
“It’sokaysweetheart,itdoesn’tmatter.
Meganpulledsomestringsandtheywon’ttakethetipseriously.”Hislips
touchedmyforeheadandinsteadofpullingback,hestayedjustlikethat.
“Ibroughtyourphonewithme.Whydon’twe
callLucyandyoucanhearitfromher,too,”hewhispered.
Reachingbehind,hetooksomethingoutof
hisbackpocketandhandedittome.Myphone.Ibarelyhadanybatteryleft.
IdialedLucy’snumber.
“Lucy?Hi.”
“Hey,babe.Howareyouholdingup?”
“Shouldn’tIbetheoneaskingyouthat?
HowisJameson?”Itriedtotalkasquietlyaspossible.
“Heisawakenow.Heisalreadymakingmy
lifemiserable.Frankly,I’mmoreworriedaboutyourightnow.Youpromisedyou
wouldcallmewhenyoumadeithome.”
“Yeah,I’msorry.WhenIsawmydad,I
just…”
“It’sokay,Olive,Iunderstand.I’m
assumingloverboymadeitthereandthat’swhyyouarecalling.”
Mylipstwitched,butthatwasallIcould
manage.
“Idon’tknowexactlywhathetoldyou,but
heistellingthetruth,mylittlegreenOlive.ItalkedtoCharlotteafew
hoursago,ormorelikefoughtwithher.ThenightIbroughtyoutothe
apartmentandMarcuscarriedyouawaytohisroom,well,that’sapparentlywhen
sherealizedMarcuswoulddropherlikeahotpotatothemomentyouwantedto
getbackwithhim.Ithinkthat’swhyshetoldyouthatshe’dbeenwithMarcus
whileyouguyswerestilltogether.Ifyouaskme,Ihavemydoubtsaboutthat
aftereverythingthat’shappenedsinceyesterday.”
ThemoreLucytalked,themoreconfusedI
wasgetting.Messingwithsomeone’sdrinkwasawholedifferentballgamethen
justcheating,ormadeupcheating,orwhatever.Heck,wherehadsheevenfound
apillthatwouldmessJasonuplikethat?
“Mytakeisthatshetoldyouaboutthe
cheatingsoyouwouldn’tgobacktoMarcus,andshemessedwithJasonsoyou
couldn’thavehimeither.Theworstofitisshemadeitsoundlikeshedidyou
afavorbecauseitwas‘boundtohappenanyway’.ThebitchhasnoideaJasonis
inlovewithyou.”
“Youaretheonlyonewhothinksthat.”
“Ohplease,it’sonlyyouwhodoesn’tthink
that.”
“Mybatteryisdying,Ihavetogo,Lucy.
CanIcallyoutomorrow?”
Shemadeasoundthatclearlymeantshewas
annoyedwithme.“Fine.I’llcallyoulater.Don’tbestupidaboutthis,Olive.
Youbetterhavegoodnewsformetomorrow.Andtrytoaskhimwhathethinks
aboutadoptingme.Heisevenhotterwhenheisfuming.Beagoodfriendfor
onceandaskhim.”
ShehungupwhileIwasstillshakingmy
head.
Ipushedmyphoneunderthepillow.
“So?”Jasonaskedintothesilence.“Doyou
believeme?”
“Ididn’thavetocallLucytoconfirmwhat
yousaid,Jason.Ibelieveyou.Thistypeofstupiddramaissupposedtohappen
withthecostaryouareworkingwith.I’msupposedtohateLindsay,notmybest
friend.Sheissupposedtofallinlovewithyouandthenmesswithour
marriage.”
“Isthatwhatissupposedtohappen?”he
murmured,asmallsmilecurlingaroundhislips.
“Yes,”Isaidmiserably.“That’swhat
happensinbooks.Thereisalwaysanevilcostarorex.Itwasn’tsupposedto
happenlikethis.I’mreallysorryforwhatmy—”
Hislipscrashedintomineandtheangels
startedsingingaboveus.
Withhisunexpectedmovement,Igaspedinto
hismouth;hemadesuretotakeadvantageofthatopeningandslippedhis
tongueinside.Iclutchedhisshirtandpulledhimclosertome,hisfingers
bitingintomyflesh,butrightwhenIwasgettingmoreintothekiss,he
pulledaway.
“That’sallIwantedtohear,”hesaid
roughly,hishotbreathmixingwithmine.
Islowlypriedmyfingersopen,letgoof
hisshirt,andtookadeepbreathtoclearmymind.
“Thisisnotagameanymore,isit?”I
asked.
“Ithoughtaboutthatonmywayoverhere.
I’mnotsureifiteverwas,baby.”
“Sowhathappensnow?”
“Tomorrow,I’mtakingyouhomewithme.”
“Andthenwhat?Weactlikenothing
happened?”Itwistedawayfromhimandploppedontomyback.“I’mnotsureif—”
“Don’tfinishthatsentence.Yes,weact
likenothinghappenedbecausenothinghappened.Youaremywife,Olive.You
alreadymadethemistakeofsayingyes,andI’mnotlettingthatgo.Youcan’t
takeitback.”
SeeifI’mlettingyougo,buddy.
Inmynextbreath,Jasonwasontopofme
andwasmakinghimselfaplaceinbetweenmylegs.
WhenIfelthiserection,Igasped.“What
areyoudoing?”Iaskedinpanic,glancingatthedooroverhisshoulder.
“Fallinginlovewithyou.”
“Rightnow?You’refallinginlovewithme
rightthisminute?Sure.”
Dippinghisheaddown,hegentlynippedat
mylips.
“No,youlittlesmartass.Ialreadyfell—a
littletoohardifyouaskme.Nowit’syourturn.”
“Myturnforwhat?”
“TosayyoulovemesoIcanclosemyeyes
andfallalltheway.”
“Ididn’texactlyhearyousayyouloveme
sowhyamIsayingit?Ithinkyoushouldsayitfirst.”
Hetiltedhisheadandthistimeloweredit
slowly,givingmetheoptionofstoppinghim.Whenourlipswerebarely
touching,hemurmured,“Kissme,Olive.”
Withoutmeaningto,Iliftedmyheadupand
gentlykissedhislips.Thebastardwasplayingwithme.“What’swiththe
orderingaroundallofasudden?”
“Shutupandkissme,woman.”
“Ithi—”
Heshutmeupandkissedme,forseveral
minutes—severalgloriousminutes.Whenitended,wewereboth
breathless.“Sayit.Please,”hemurmuredagain,ghostingsmallkissesaround
mylips.
“Iloveyou,JasonThorn,”Iadmitted.
I’velovedyouforadisturbinglylong
time.
Myheartwasgoingcrazy.Thebutterflies
hehadawakenedinmetheveryfirstdayI’dseenhimweremultiplyingbythe
second,andIfeltsick.
Andvulnerable.
Andhopeful.
Soveryhopeful.
Hiseyesclosedandthenherestedhis
foreheadonmine.“ThenightIcametothebarandsawyousingingwithyour
friend…that’swhenIstartedfallingforyou.”
“Canyousaytheactualwords?”Iasked.
Hesmileddownatme.“Iloveyou,my
beautifullittleOlive.Mywife.”
Breathein.
Breatheout.
Keeprepeatingthat.Youcandoit!
“Okay.Thatwasokay,”Isaid,pattinghim
ontheshoulderandbarelyholdingbackaheartattack.
Hechuckledquietly.“Somyloveis
acceptable?”
Imadeanoncommittalsound.“Eh,sure.Why
not?”
Hestartedkissingmyneckwhilehewas
stillchuckling,soIclosedmyeyestokeepmysanity.“Youaremorethanten
yearslate,butdamnifitisn’tgoodtohearthosewordsinthisroom,”I
whisperedquietly.
Hishandsneakedundermytopandhe
startedstrokingmywaist,slowlymovingupward.“Whatelsedidyouwantto
hearordointhisroom?I’mallaboutmakingyourdreamscometrue.”
SuddenlythedoortomyroomopenedandI
sawDylan’sshoulder.Hewastryingnottopeekin.
“You’vebeeninhereforanhournow,you
sonofabitch.DidyouthinkIwouldn’tnotice?Howaboutyougetyourassout
ofmysister’sroomandwehaveanicelittlechat,youpieceofshit!”Dylan
whisperedfuriouslyandclosedthedoorwithoutwaitingforananswer.Nota
secondhadpassedwhenheopeneditagain.“I’mwaitingforyou!”
BuryingmyforeheadagainstJason’sneck,I
quietlylaughed.
Whenthedoorhadopenedthefirsttime,
hishandhadfrozenonmyskin,hiswholebodygoingtaut,butassoonasDylan
closedthedoor,hestartedstrokingagainandsighed.
“IguessIwasn’tassneakyasIthoughtI
was.”
“Iguessnot,”Isaidandstartedlaughing
again.
“He’snotgonnamakethiseasyonme,is
he?”
Idroppedmyheadonthepillowandlooked
athishandsomeface.“Doesn’tlooklikeit.”
“IthoughtIwouldbehappiertoseehim,
andforasecondthereIthoughtIwas,butitlookslikeIwaswrong,”hesaid
withanotherheavysigh.“Atleastitwasn’tyourfatherwhobustedus.Thank
god.”
Ismiledwithoutsayinganything.
Hefellsilent,too,andsmiledbackatme.
“Iloveyousoverymuch,Jason,”Isaid,
havingahardtimekeepingitin
Hissmilegrewbigger.
“There’sthatdimple,”Imumbled,reaching
withmyfingertotouchit.
“Youlikeit?”heaskedroughly.
Inodded.
“TherearealotofthingsIlikeabout
you,too,wife.”
“Likewhat?”IaskedbreathlesslyasIlost
myselfalittlebitmoreinhiseyes.
“Likethatlittlebirthmarkyouhaveon
yourwaist,”hemurmured,hisfingertipsfindingitinthedarkasifhehad
painteditonthere.“Likethatlittlesmileyoualwayshaveonyourlipswhen
youarewritingandyouthinknooneislookingatyou.”
Therewasarudeknockonthedoorand
Jasonsighed.
“DoyouknowwhatelseIlearnedtoday?”
Jasonaskedconversationallyashepushedhimselfupwithasigh.“Ilearned
thatyoutextedmewhenIwaseighteen,pretendingtobesomeoneelse.”
Ilostmybreathandmysmilemeltedoffmy
face.“Wh-hat?”
“Interestingisn’tit?BecauseIcertainly
thoughtso.Andyouknowwhat?ApparentlyItextedyoubacksayingmyfriend’s
sisterwasbeingsticky,orsomethinglikethat.”
Bythenhehadalreadygottenoutofmybed
andwasstandingovermeasIheldthecoversinadeathgripinmyhands.
“YouknowwhyIcan’trememberwhatmy
exactwordswere?Because—waitforit—itwasn’tmewhowrotethem.Hilarious,
isn’tit?”
“What?”Irepeatedagain.“Whatdoyou
mean,itwasn’tyouwhowrotethem?”
“Oh,youdidn’tknow?Itwasyourloving
brothertryingtoprotectyoufromme.Ormaybetheotherwayaround,whoknows
withhim.”
“Youcan’tbeserious.”
“Oh,butIamsweetheart.Iam.”
Ithrewthecoversoffandscrambledoutof
mybed.“I’mgonnakillhim!”
Ionlymanagedtotaketwostepsandthen
Jasonpulledmebackagainsthischest.
“Easytheretiger.Wecankillhim
together,butfirstwearsomepantssohewon’thavealegitimatereasonto
killmefirst.”
Iturnedinhisarms,roseuponmy
tiptoes,andkissedhimpassionatelyuntilhishandswereframingmyfaceand
tiltingmyheadtotheside.Icould’veeasilyfaintedwiththeintensityof
it.
“I’mnotsticky?”IaskedonceIcouldfind
thewillpowertostop.
“Ilovedyou.Youweremylittleone.I
wouldnevercallyousticky.And…”Heletgoofmyfaceandsuddenlyliftedme
upinhisarms.“Nowthatyouareallgrownup,Idon’tmindyoubeingsticky
atall.Infact,Ican’twaittogetyouhomesoyoucangetstickyallover
me,sweetheart.”
EpilogueJason
“Jason!”Iliftedmyheadupandsawmy
wiferunningtowardme.
Myheartratespikingup,Imether
halfway.“What’swrong,Olive?Whathappened?”
Sheheldherchestandtriedtocatchher
breath.“Howcould…howcouldyounottellmeabout…justasecond,IthinkI’m
havingaheartattack.”Shebentdownandrestedherhandsonherknees.
Igrabbedhershouldersandstraightened
herbackup.“Olive,talktome,what’swrong?”Shewavedherhand
dismissively.“Givemeaminute,I’mangryatyou.”
“Whatthehellfor?”
“HowcouldyounottellmethatAdam
Connor,theAdamConnorhadmovedinnextdoor?WhydidIhearitfrom
Lucyinsteadofyou?Itrustedyou,damnit!”
Iblinked.“Sweetheart,Idon’tkeeptabs
ontheneighbors.Ididn’tknowAdamwasmovinginnextdooranymorethanyou
did.”
Hereyeswidenedslowly,makingherlook
comicalasshestaredupatme.“Youknowhim?YousaidAdam,likeyouactually
knowhim,”shewhined.“YouknowAdamConnor?”
Shewastryingthepatheticactwithme.
Again.
Itiltedmyheadandgaveherapointed
look.“Trynottofaintoveranotherguyinfrontyourhusband,littleone.
It’snotagoodlookonyou.”
Herlittlefingerscurledaroundmy
shouldersandshedroppedherforeheadagainstmychest.Takingadvantage,I
immediatelywrappedmyarmsaroundherandpulledhercloser.
Wearingagoofysmile,shelookedupatme.
“You’llintroduceus?Imeanme?Andyeah,maybe,Lucy,too?Bothofus?To
AdamConnor?TotheAdamConnorwhoisgoingtoliverightnextdoorto
uswithhislovelykid?Youwillwon’tyou?Ah,IknewIlovedyouforgood
reason!”
“Olive,”Isighed.“Yourhusbandisamovie
star,too,woman.Howfastareyoukickingmetothecurbforanotherone?You
don’tseemerunningaroundtofindotherauthors.”
Shepattedmycheekandsighed.“Canyou
introduceussoon?Idon’twanttofindLucyhidinginthebushestryingtoget
alookathimovertheshortwall.”
Ishookmyheadandforcedhertoturn
around.“Comeon,it’stime.”
Shehuffed,butstartedwalkinginfrontof
me.
“TellmeagainwhyIhavetobepartofthis
prankyouallareplayingonLindsay?”
“Becauseyouarehelpfullikethat?”Iwas
steeringhertowardourtrailerwherethemakeupgirlswouldputawigonher
soshecouldbearapassingresemblancetoLindsay.Whatshedidn’tknow,
however,wasthattheprankwasactuallyforher.
“Whenareyouguysshootingthelast
scene?”sheaskedassheslippedherhandinmine.“Iwanttobetheretowatch
thatone.IwanttohearTanneryell,That’sawrap,folks!”
“We’llstartthatonerightafterthe
prank.”
“Andwhenareyougoingtosharewhatthe
prankreallyis?I’mgonnawearawiganddowhatexactly?Jumponheror
something?”
Myimpatientlittlefirecracker.“Youdon’t
havetodoanythingsweetheart,juststandingtherewillbeenoughforthe
pranktowork.”Liftingherhand,Ikissedthebackofit.
Itwasn’tlikeIwaslyingtoheranyway;
allshehadtodowasstandontopofanXanddoonesimplething.Shegaveme
asidewaysglance,butenteredthetrailercooperativelywhenIgaveher
backsidealittlepush.Icouldn’twaittogetherhomethatnight.
Halfanhourlater,thesunhadgonedown,
anditwascompletelydarkoutsidewhenweemergedfromthetrailer.Iwalked
herbacktothesetwherethelastsceneofhermoviewouldbeshot.
“Peoplearegivingmefunnylooks,Jason,”
shehissed,leaningclosertome.“Ithoughtyousaidtherewouldbeother
peoplelookinglikeLindsay.”
“It’llbeokaysweetheart,”Iassuredher.
WhenTannersawus,hemotionedformeto
keepwalkingwithhishand.FromwhatIcouldsee,everyonewasexactlywhere
theyweresupposedtobeandtheywerewaitingforus.
“Ihaveasurpriseforyou,baby,”Isaid,
oncewewerestandingontopoftheXtapedontheground.
“Jasonwhat’sgoingon?”sheaskedurgently
whenthecrewturnedthelowlightsonandwewereinthespotlight.
“Weareshootingthelastscene.”
Hereyebrowsrising,shepulledatmyhand,
butIwasn’tlettinghergoanywhere,notagain.“Whatdoyoumeanweare
shootingthelastscene?”shesqueaked.
“Iloveyou,Olive,”Isaid,taking
pleasureinwatchingherheartshineinhereyes.ShedidthateverytimeI
toldherIlovedher,andItoldherhowmuchIlovedherasoftenaspossible.
Iwasjustaspatheticasher.
“AndIloveyou,”shesaidback.
“Thiswasourstoryfromthevery
beginning,littleone.Ifyouhadn’twrittenthisbook,Iwould’veneverfound
you.Hell,maybewewerewrittenforeachotherfromtheveryfirstdaywemet,
butitwould’vetakenmealongtimetofindyouonmyown.”Ikissedhernose.
“Sothankyouforfindingme.Thankyouforwritingyourselfintoourhappyand
inevitableending.”Ikissedheragain.“ItalkedTannerintolettingmeshoot
thisscenewithyou.Everyonewillthinkit’sLindsay,butwhenwewatchit
togetherforthefirsttime,we’llknowthatI’mkissingthewomanIloveand
nooneelse.”
“Jason!Getready.We’llstartwithcamera
twoforthefirsttake!”Tanneryelledatus.
Olive’sfacesoftenedandhereyesfilled
withtears.“You’regoingtokissme?Infrontofthecameras?”
Ipushedthehairbehindherear.Itwasn’t
anywherenearassoftasherownbeautifulhair,butitwouldhavetodo.“You
saythatasifIneverkissyou,wife.”
“Youdon’tkissmenearlyenough,”she
murmuredagainstmylips.Shewasn’tfightingmypullortryingtoescapeany
more,soIpulledhermorefirmlyagainstmychest.
IwassmilingwhenImurmured,“I’mtrying
todomybest,butIkeepfallingshortapparently.Maybeyoushouldtake
mattersintoyourownhands.”
“Everyonelockitdown!”Tannergavehis
lastwarningandthesetfellsilent.
“Whatnow?”Olivewhispered.Shewashaving
ahardtimestandingstill.
“Now,”Isaid,framingherfacewithmy
handssothecameracouldn’tpickupthesmalldifferencesbetweenmyOliveand
Lindsay.
“Thecurtain!”Tanneryelled;secondslater
coldfakerainstartedtosoakintoourskin,makingOlivesquealloudly.
“Jason!I’mgoingtokillyou!”
Notlettinggoofherface,Ismiledinto
hereyes.
“You’returningouttobequitethemurderer,
baby.Ithoughtapluviophilelikeyouwouldappreciatethis.It’sasmall
changetoyourbook,butIthought…”
“It’sperfect,”shesaid,tiltingherhead
backandlaughing.“Theyareprettymuchhosingusdownwithwater,butI’ll
takeit.Areyoureallymine?”sheaskedwhenshehadhairplasteredallover
herface.
“Action!”
“Iam,sweetheart,”Iwhisperedagainsther
lipsasmychesttightened.“Iloveyousomuch,Evie,”Isaid,knowingTanner
wouldpickupourwordsandusethemwhenhewaspiecingeverythingtogether.
Fakerainpouringdownonus,Ikissedher
softlyandslowly,countlesstimes.Atonepoint,Tannerswitchedcameras,but
therewasnoonethatcouldpullOliveawayfromme.Shewasmine.Iwouldn’t
letanyonetakeheraway,notevillittlebeesandcertainlynotAdamConnor.
Everytimewecameupforabreath,I
whisperedherhowmuchIlovedherandhowmuchIwantedtogetintoherpants
whenwegothome.Assoonasshewassmiling,Iwouldkisshertenderly,
drinkinginherhappiness.
Whenherbodystartedshakingagainstmine,
Ihuggedhertightertomyself.
“Ikeptmypromisetoyou,”Isaid,kissing
theedgesofhermouthasshetookdeepbreaths.Theworldfadedawayandit
wasjustthetwoofstandinginthemiddleofafakeroad.“ItoldyouthatI
wouldneverforgetyouOliveThorn,anditlookslikemyheartnever
did,sweetheart,”Ituggedapieceofherhair,thefamiliargesturemakingher
lipswobble.“Myworldisalessscaryplacewithyouinit,baby.Iwillkiss
youathousandtimeseverydayifthat’swhatittakestokeepyouinlovewith
mefortherestofourdays.”
Hertearsmixedinwiththerain,butshe
wasstillsmilingupatmewhenshesaid,“Youstolemylittleheartwithjust
onedimple,yousneakylittlethief.Inevermanagedtofalloutoflovewith
youafterthat.Idon’tthinkIknowhowto.”
“Ineverwantyoutolearn.I’llgiveyou
asmanyorgasmsasyouwantalongwiththekisses.”
Ikissedher.
“WhydoIfeellikeyouaretryingtosell
yourselftome?Imightconsidertakingyouifyoupromiseyou’lldomeinthe
screeningroomatyourhouse.Maybewecandoitwhilewearewatching
something?Orlistening?AndIwanttodoitinthepoolatleasttwice.ThenI
wantdoitinDevlin’sclub,inoneofthoseprivaterooms.Andmaybewe
can—”
Ikissedheragain.“Iseeyou’regonna
workmelikeaslave.Youknowthattheyarerecordingus,don’tyou?”
HereyeswidenedinshockandIheardafew
chucklescomingfromthecrewmembers.
“Killme.Someonestrikemewithfake
lightning,anything,please.Itwilllookperfectforthemovie.Theauthor
diedwhilefilmingthelastscene.Thinkabouttheboxofficenumbersor
whateverthehell…”
Ichuckledandwentforherlipsagainas
Tannerchangedanglesandtoldustokeepgoing.
Leaningintoherear,Iwhispered,“Iwill
fuckyouanywhereandanytimeyouwant,Olive.Crookyourlittlefingeratme,
andI’lltakeyouinaheartbeat,baby.”
“Jason,givemeanotherkissandwe’llwrap
thisup.Holdherfaceinyourhandsandgoforit,”Tanner’svoiceechoedto
us.
“Theselips?”Itouchedherlowerlipwith
mythumb.“Ineverwantyoutofeelsomeoneelse’slipsagainstwhat’smine.I
amitforyou,Olive,theone,therightone—whateveryouwanttocallit,I’m
that.”
“Action!”
Ikissedhersomemore,takingmytimeand
tiltingherheadinmyhands,sinkingdeeperintoheruntilIdidn’tknowifit
washerbreathinglifeintomeorifitwasmebeinggreedyandtaking
everythingshewasgivingmesofreely.
WhenIwasdonekissingher,Iknewmy
handsweren’tshakingbecauseofthecold.
“Iloveyou,littleone,”Iwhispered,out
ofbreathatlast.
“Surprisingly,you’vebeenthebestkindof
heartache,JasonThorn.”Shesmiledagainstmygreedylipsandeverythingwas
perfectinawayithadneverbeenbefore.
“That’sawrap,folks!”
The
End
BooksbyEllaMaise
Were
youintriguedbythenewnovelOlivewasworkingon?Ifyouwere,youcanread
thatemotionalandoh-so-verysexybookrightnow!
Lost
Prelude(Alexander&Maya#1)
MynameisMaya,andI’mnotthesamegirlIwasamonthago.
ThereisanemptinessIcarryaroundinmychestnow.Abrokenheartcausedby
grief.
TherearealsodarknightswhereIhavetroublebreathingasIfeeltheheavy
weightoflossrushingthroughmyveins,painfulmomentswhereIcanremember
myentirebeingscreaminagonyasIheldontomyfather’scold,lifelesshand.
Thenthereisalwaysaherotoeverystory,isn’tthere?AherowhoIdespised
fromthemomentheopenedhismouth.HisnameisAlexander.HeismyinevitableIneverexpectedtofind.Theonemy
brokenheartleadsmeto.Hisexistence,histouch,everythinghedidtomake
mypainbearablewillleaveamarkonmeforever.
Yet,IknowthatwhenI’mgone,he’llonlyremembermeasafadingmemory.
LostPrelude
Lost
Heartbeats(Alexander&Maya#2)
MynameisAlexander,andI’mnofuckinghero.
NotwhenIcouldn’tevensavethelittleheartbeatsIwassupposedtoprotect
withmylife.
Whenafistclosesaroundmyheartafteradeathbringsmetomyknees,I
finallygoafterthewomanI’dbeencravingformonths.Notjustbecauseher
beautifulfaceistheonlythingthatslipsthroughthepainwhenIclosemy
eyes,butbecauseshehassecretlycarvedaplaceforherselfinmyheart–
leavingmewithnochoice.
ButifIdothis,ifImakemyselfbelievethatIdeserveher,willthechoices
Imakeruineverythingbetweenus?Willsheacceptthefactthatshedoesn’t
gettoleavemetwice?
Lost
Heartbeats
AbouttheAuthor
I’manavidreader.Therefore,abig
dreamer.Ilovenothingmorethantoescapereallifetofindthoseveryfew
magicalmomentsinabook.Ilovehowithasthepowerofstealingyourworries
away,puttingasmileonyourface,andofcoursesometimesmakingyoucrushon
fictionalcharacters.IfIcanmanagetodoevenoneofthosethingsfora
reader,Iwillbeahappywriter.
Ican’tevenbegintodescribehowexciting
itistogivelifetonewcharactersandfallforthem.It’sadifferentkind
ofaddictionI’mdeterminedtokeepalive.
I’mstillsearchingformyownhappy
ending.Untilthathappens,I’lllivevicariouslythroughmyowncharacters.
ConnectWithMe
Facebook
Twitter
Goodreads
Website
Togettheinsidescoopofmybooks,hearaboutnewreleases,extra
materials…
Signupformynewsletter!
Newsletter
Acknowledgements
Firstofall,Ioweahugethankyoutomy
newfriend,Jasmine.DidIevertellyouthatIloveyourname?No?Well,Ido.
Ithinkit’sjustasbeautifulasyourheartis.Maybealmostasbeautifulas
Olive’sname?Didyouaskguystomarryyouwhenyouwerelittletoo?Seriously
though,Ioweyoubigtime.Forreadingsnippetsevenbeforethebookwas
completeandgettingsoexcited.Forbetareadingandleavingtonsofcommentsas
youwerereadingthrough,forlaughing,forsmiling,cheeringOliveandJason,
forenjoyingthesexscenesasmuchasyoudid!Foreverything,really.Idon’t
thinkI’llletyougo,soyou’reprettymuchstuckwithme.AndI’mprettysure
youcandealwiththat.Right?Youloveme,right?!
Anotherbig,bigthankyoutomylovelyand
awesomeeditor,Caitlin.IknowImessedupyourscheduleabit—okay,maybea
lot—but,still,thankyousomuchforbeingsokindaboutit.Andyou’llnever
knowhowhappyitmademetohearthatyouenjoyedJason’sandOlive’sstory.
Tomyfriendswhoarealwaysthereforme:
Eryn,NatashaG,Rita,NatashaM,Suzette,Tanya,Athena.Thankyouallfrom
thebottomofmyheartforholdingmyhandatalltimes.
Andlastbutnotleast,thankstoallthe
bloggerswhospreadthewordofmynovels.Sheprobablywon’treadthis,but
especiallyahumongousthankyoutoNatashaTomicforsharinganythingand
everythingIsentherwayfromtheverybeginning.
Tomyreaders…Iwouldn’tevenknowhowto
begintothankyou.Youareamazing,eachandeveryoneofyou.Yousimply
rock!Ihopethiswasanenjoyablereadforyou<3
No comments yet