TwistedGames
TwistedBookTwoAnaHuangCopyright?2021byAnaHuang
Allrightsreserved.
Nopartofthisbookmaybereproduced,distributed,ortransmittedinanyformorbyanyelectronicormechanicalmeans,includinginformationstorageandretrievalsystems,withoutwrittenpermissionfromtheauthor,exceptfortheuseofbriefquotationsinabookreviewandcertainothernoncommercialusepermittedbycopyrightlaw.
Resemblancetoactualpersonsandthingslivingordead,locales,oreventsisentirelycoincidental.
TWISTEDGAMES:
CoverDesigner:QuirahCasey,TemptationCreations
Editor:AmyBriggs,BriggsConsultingLLC
Proofreader:KristaBurdine
Photographer:WanderAguiar
Model:ChristophLeitnerToallthegirlswhosaidfuckPrinceCharming,
givemeascarredknight.Contents
Playlist
Synopsis
NotetoReaders:
PartI
1.Bridget
2.Rhys
3.Bridget
4.Rhys/Bridget
5.Rhys
6.Bridget
7.Bridget
8.Bridget/Rhys
9.Bridget
10.Rhys
11.Bridget
12.Rhys
13.Bridget
14.Rhys
15.Rhys
16.Bridget
17.Bridget
18.Bridget
19.Rhys
20.Bridget
PartII
21.Bridget
22.Rhys
23.Bridget
24.Bridget
25.Rhys
26.Bridget
27.Bridget
28.Rhys
29.Bridget
30.Rhys
31.Bridget
32.Bridget
33.Rhys
34.Bridget
35.Rhys
36.Bridget
37.Bridget
38.Bridget
39.Rhys
40.Bridget
41.Rhys
42.Rhys
43.Bridget
44.Bridget
45.Rhys
46.Bridget
47.Rhys
48.Bridget
49.Bridget
50.Rhys
51.Rhys
Epilogue
BooksbyAnaHuang
KeepintouchwithAnaHuang
Acknowledgments
AbouttheAuthor“Queen”—LorenGray
“Castle”—Halsey
“Arcade”—DuncanLaurence
“YouShouldSeeMeinaCrown”—BillieEilish
”Telepatía”—KaliUchis**
“Stay”—Rihanna
“Uncover”—ZaraLarsson
“SecretLoveSong”—LittleMix
“TheyDon’tKnowAboutUs”—OneDirection
“Minefields”—Faouzia&JohnLegend
“WildestDreams”—TaylorSwift
“PrincessesDon’tCry”—Aviva
“Fairytale”(SlowedVersion)—AlexanderRybak
“IGuessI’minLove”—ClintonKane
**FortheChapter18vibesmorethanthelyricsShecanneverbehis…buthe’stakingheranyway.
Stoic,broody,andarrogant,elitebodyguardRhysLarsenhastworules:1)Protecthisclientsatallcosts2)Donotbecomeemotionallyinvolved.Ever.
Hehasneveroncebeentemptedtobreakthoserules…untilher.
BridgetvonAscheberg.Aprincesswithastubbornstreakthatmatcheshisownandahiddenfirethatreduceshisrulestoash.She’snothingheexpectedandeverythingheneverknewheneeded.
Daybyday,inchbyinch,shebreaksdownhisdefensesuntilhe’sfacedwithatruthhecannolongerdeny:hesworeanoathtoprotecther,butallhewantsistoruinher.Takeher.
Becauseshe’shis.
Hisprincess.
Hisforbiddenfruit.
Hiseverydepravedfantasy.
***
Regal,strong-willed,andboundbythechainsofduty,PrincessBridgetdreamsofthefreedomtoliveandloveasshechooses.
Butwhenherbrotherabdicates,she’ssuddenlyfacedwiththeprospectofaloveless,politicallyexpedientmarriageandathronesheneverwanted.
Andasshenavigatestheintricacies—andtreacheries—ofhernewrole,shemustalsohideherdesireforamanshecan’thave.
Herbodyguard.
Herprotector.
Herultimateruin.
Unexpectedandforbidden,theirsisalovethatcoulddestroyakingdom…anddoomthemboth.NotetoReaders:
Thisstorytakesplaceoverfouryearsandincludesseveraltimejumps,especiallyinPartI,inordertobringustothepresent.Ithasoverlappingtimelineswiththeprecedingbook,TwistedLove
PartItakesplacethroughtheepilogueofTwistedLove(thepast);PartIItakesplaceafter(thepresent)
ItisrecommendedbutnotnecessarytoreadTwistedLovefirstinordertounderstandwhathappens.PartI
1
Bridget
“Spankme!Master,spankme!”
IstifledalaughatmybodyguardBooth’sfaceasLeathertheparrotsquawkedinhiscage.Theparrot’snamesaidallyouneededtoknowaboutitspreviousowner’ssexlife,andwhilesomefoundhimamusing,Boothdidnot.Hehatedbirds.Hesaidtheyremindedhimofgiantflyingrats.
“Oneday,heandLeatheraregoingtogetintoit.”Emma,thedirectorofWags&Whiskers,cluckedhertongue.“PoorBooth.”
IheldbackanotherlaughevenasIfeltasmallpanginmyheart.“Probablynot.Booth’sleavingsoon.”
Itriednottothinkaboutit.Boothhadbeenwithmeforfouryears,buthewasleavingforpaternityleavenextweekandstayinginEldorraaftertobeclosertohiswifeandnewborn.Iwashappyforhim,butIwouldmisshim.Hewasnotonlymybodyguardbutafriend,andIcouldonlyhopehisreplacementandIhadthesamerapport.
“Ah,yes,Iforgot.”Emma’sfacesoftened.Shewasinherearlysixties,withshort,gray-streakedhairandwarmbrowneyes.“Lotsofchangesforyouinashorttime,mydear.”
SheknewhowmuchIhatedgoodbyes.
I’dbeenvolunteeringatWags&Whiskers,alocalpetrescueshelter,sincemysophomoreyearofcollege,andEmmahadbecomeaclosefriendandmentor.Unfortunately,she,too,wasleaving.She’dstillbeinHazelburg,butshewasretiringastheshelterdirector,whichmeantIwouldnolongerseehereveryweek.
“Oneofthemdoesn’thavetohappen,”Isaid,onlyhalf-joking.“Youcouldstay.”
Sheshookherhead.“I’veruntheshelterforalmostadecade,andit’stimefornewblood.Someonewhocancleanthecageswithoutherbackandhipsactingup.”
“That’swhatvolunteersarefor.”Igesturedtowardmyself.Iwasbelaboringthepoint,butIcouldn’thelpit.BetweenEmma,Booth,andmyimpendinggraduationfromThayerUniversity,whereIwasmajoringininternationalrelations—asexpectedofaprincess—Ihadenoughgoodbyestolastmeforthenextfiveyears.
“Youareasweetheart.Don’ttelltheothers,but…”Sheloweredhervoicetoaconspiratorialwhisper.“You’remyfavoritevolunteer.It’sraretofindsomeoneofyourstaturewhodoescharitybecauseshewantsto,notbecauseshe’sputtingonashowforthecameras.”
Mycheekstintedpinkatthecompliment.“It’smypleasure.Iadoreanimals.”Itookaftermymotherinthatregard.ItwasoneofthefewpiecesofherIhadleft.
Inanotherlife,Iwould’vebeenaveterinarian,butinthislife?MypathhadbeenlaidoutformesincebeforeIwasborn.
“Youwouldmakeagreatqueen.”Emmasteppedasidetoallowastaffmemberwithawrigglingpuppyinhisarmstopass.“Truly.”
Ilaughedatthethought.“Thankyou,butIhavenointerestinbeingqueen.EvenifIdid,thechancesofmewearingthecrownareslim.”
AstheprincessofEldorra,asmallEuropeankingdom,Icameclosertorulingthanmostpeople.MyparentsdiedwhenIwasakid—mymotheratchildbirth,myfatherinacaraccidentafewyearslater—soIwassecondinlinetothethrone.MybrotherNikolai,whowasfouryearsmysenior,hadbeentrainingtotakeoverforourgrandfatherKingEdvardsincehewasoldenoughtowalk.OnceNikolaihadchildren,Iwouldbebumpedfurtherdownthelineofsuccession,somethingIhadzerocomplaintsabout.IwantedtobequeenasmuchasIwantedtobatheinavatofacid.
Emmafrownedindisappointment.“Ah,well,thesentimentisthesame.”
“Emma!”oneoftheotherstaffmemberscalledout.“We’vegotasituationwiththecats.”
Shesighed.“It’salwaysthecats,”shemuttered.“Anyway,Iwantedtotellyouaboutmyretirementbeforeyouhearditfromanyoneelse.I’llstillbehereuntiltheendofnextweek,soI’llseeyouonTuesday.”
“Soundsgood.”Ihuggedhergoodbyeandwatchedherrushofftodealwithaliteralcatfight,thepanginmychestgrowing.
IwasgladEmmahadn’ttoldmeaboutherretirementuntiltheendofmyshift,oritwould’vebeeninmyheadthewholetime.
“Areyouready,YourHighness?”Boothasked,clearlyeagertogetawayfromLeather.
“Yes.Let’sgo.”
“Yes,let’sgo!”Leathersquawkedasweexited.“Spankme!”
MylaughfinallybrokefreeatBooth’sgrimace.“I’llmissyou,andsowillLeather.”Istuffedmyhandsinmycoatpocketstoprotectthemagainstthesharpautumnchill.“Tellmeaboutthenewbodyguard.What’shelike?”
Theleavescrunchedbeneathmybootsaswewalkedtowardmyoff-campushouse,whichwasonlyfifteenminutesaway.Iadoredfallandeverythingthatcamewithit—thecozyclothes,theriotofearthycolorsonthetrees,thehintofcinnamonandsmokeintheair.
InAthenberg,Iwouldn’tbeabletowalkdownthestreetwithoutgettingmobbed,butthatwasthegreatthingaboutThayer.Itsstudentpopulationboastedsomanyroyalsandcelebrityoffspring,aprincesswasnobigdeal.Icouldlivemylifelikearelativelynormalcollegegirl.
“Idon’tknowmuchaboutthenewguard,”Boothadmitted.“He’sacontractor.”
Myeyebrowsshotup.“Really?”
TheCrownsometimeshiredprivatesecuritycontractorstoservealongsidetheRoyalGuard,butitwasrare.Inmytwenty-oneyears,I’dneverhadabodyguardwhowasacontractor.
“He’ssupposedtobethebest,”Boothsaid,mistakingmysurpriseforwariness.“Ex-NavySEAL,top-notchrecommendations,experienceguardinghigh-profilepersonalities.He’shiscompany’smostsought-afterprofessional.”
“Hmm.”AnAmericanguard.Interesting.“Idohopewegetalong.”
Whentwopeoplewerearoundeachothertwenty-four-seven,compatibilitymattered.Alot.Iknewpeoplewhohadn’tmeshedwiththeirsecuritydetails,andthosearrangementsneverlastedlong.
“I’msureyouwill.You’reeasytogetalongwith,YourHighness.”
“You’reonlysayingthatbecauseI’myourboss.”
Boothgrinned.“Technically,theDirectoroftheRoyalGuardismyboss.”
Iwaggedaplayfulfingerathim.“Backtalkingalready?I’mdisappointed.”
Helaughed.DespitehisinsistenceoncallingmeYourHighness,we’dsettledintoacasualcamaraderieovertheyearsthatIappreciated.Excessiveformalityexhaustedme.
WechattedaboutBooth’simpendingfatherhoodandmovebacktoEldorrafortherestofourwalk.Hewasnearburstingwithprideoverhisunbornchild,andIcouldn’thelpasmallstabofenvy.Iwasnowherenearreadyformarriageandkids,butIwantedwhatBoothandhiswifehad.
Love.Passion.Choice.Thingsnoamountofmoneycouldbuy.
Asardonicsmiletouchedmylips.NodoubtI’dsoundlikeanungratefulbrattoanyonewhocouldhearmythoughts.IcouldgetanymaterialthingIdesiredwithasnapofmyfingers,andIwaswhiningaboutlove.
Butpeoplewerepeople,nomattertheirtitle,andsomedesireswereuniversal.Unfortunately,theabilitytofulfillthemwasnot.
MaybeIwouldfallinlovewithaprincewho’dsweepmeoffmyfeet,butIdoubtedit.Mostlikely,I’dendupinaboring,sociallyacceptablemarriagewithaboring,sociallyacceptablemanwhoonlyhadsexmissionarystyleandvacationedinthesametwoplaceseveryyear.
Ipushedthedepressingthoughtaside.IhadalongwaytogobeforeIeventhoughtaboutmarriage,andI’dcrossthatbridgewhenIgotthere.
Myhousecameintosight,andmyeyeslatchedontotheunfamiliarblackBMWidlinginthedriveway.Iassumeditbelongedtomynewbodyguard.
“He’searly.”Boothraisedasurprisedbrow.“He’snotsupposedtoarriveuntilfive.”
“Punctualityisagoodsign,Isuppose.”Thoughhalfanhourearlymightbeoverkill.
Thecardooropened,andalargeblackbootplanteditselfonthedriveway.Asecondlater,thebiggestmanI’deverseeninreallifeunfoldedhimselffromthefrontseat,andmymouthturnedbonedry.
Holy.Hotness.
Mynewbodyguardhadtobeatleastsixfootfour,maybeevensix-five,withsolid,sculptedmusclepackedontoeveryinchofhispowerfulframe.Longishblackhairgrazedhiscollarandfelloveronegunmetal-grayeye,andhislegsweresolongheateupthedistancebetweenusinthreestrides.
Forsomeonesolarge,hemovedwithsurprisingstealth.IfIhadn’tbeenlookingathim,Iwouldn’thavenoticedhimapproachatall.
Hestoppedinfrontofme,andIsworemybodytiltedforwardacentimeter,unabletoresisthisgravitationalpull.Iwasalsostrangelytemptedtorunmyhandthroughhisthickdarklocks.Mostveteranskepttheirhairmilitary-styleshortevenafterleavingtheservice,butclearly,hewasn’toneofthem
“RhysLarsen.”Hisdeep,gravellyvoicerolledovermelikeavelvetycaress.Nowthathewascloser,Ispottedathinscarslashingthroughhislefteyebrow,addingahintofmenacetohisdarkgoodlooks.Stubbledarkenedhisjaw,andahintofatattoopeekedoutfrombothsleevesofhisshirt.
Hewastheoppositeofthepreppy,clean-shaventypesIusuallywentfor,butthatdidn’tstopaswarmofbutterfliesfromtakingflightinmystomach.
IwassoflusteredbytheirappearanceIforgottoresponduntilBoothletoutasmallcough.
“I’mBridget.It’snicetomeetyou.”Ihopedneithermannoticedtheflushcreepingovermycheeks.
IomittedthePrincesstitleonpurpose.Itseemedtoopretentiousforcasual,one-on-onesettings.
Idid,however,noticeRhysdidn’taddressmeasYourHighnessthewayBoothdid.Ididn’tmind—I’dbeentryingtogetBoothtocallmebymyfirstnameforyears—butitwasanothersignmynewguardwouldbenothinglikemyoldone.
“Youhavetomove.”
Iblinked.“Ibegyourpardon?”
“Yourhouse.”Rhystiltedhisheadtowardmyspaciousbutcozytwo-bedroomabode.“It’sasecuritynightmare.Idon’tknowwhosignedoffonthelocation,butyouhavetomove.”
Thebutterfliesscreechedtoahalt.
We’dmetlessthantwominutesago,andhewasalreadyorderingmearoundlikehewastheboss.Whodoeshethinkheis?“I’velivedherefortwoyears.I’veneverhadanissue.”
“Itonlytakesonetime.”
“I’mnotmoving.”IpunctuatedmywordswithasharpnessIrarelyused,butRhys’scondescendingtonegratedonmynerves.
AnyattractionI’dfelttowardhimcrumbledintoash,dyingthequickestdeathinmyhistorywiththeoppositesex.
Notthatitwould’vegoneanywhere.Hewas,afterall,mybodyguard,butitwould’vebeennicetohaveeyecandywithoutwantingtodrop-kickhimintothenextcentury.
Men.Theyalwaysruineditbyopeningtheirmouths.
“You’rethesecurityexpert,”Iaddedcoolly.“Figureitout.”
Rhysgloweredatmebeneaththick,darkbrows.Icouldn’trememberthelasttimeanyonehadgloweredatme.
“Yes,YourHighness.”Hisinflectiononthelasttwowordsmadeamockeryofthetitle,andtheembersofindignationinmystomachstokedbrighter.
Iopenedmymouthtorespond—withwhat,Iwasn’tsure,becausehehadn’tbeenoutrighthostile—butBoothcutinbeforeIsaidsomethingIwouldregret.
“Whydon’twegoinside?Itlookslikeit’sabouttorain,”hesaidquickly.
RhysandIlookedup.Theclearblueskywinkedbackatus.
Boothclearedhisthroat.“Youneverknow.Rainshowerscomeoutofnowhere,”hemuttered.“Afteryou,YourHighness.”
Weenteredthehouseinsilence.
Ishruggedoffmycoatandhungitonthebrasstreebythedoorbeforemakinganotherstabatcivility.“Wouldyoulikesomethingtodrink?”
Irritationstillstabbedatme,butIhatedconfrontation,andIdidn’twantmyrelationshipwithmynewbodyguardtostartonsuchasournote.
“No.”Rhysscannedthelivingroom,whichI’ddecoratedinshadesofjadegreenandcream.Ahousekeepercamebytwiceamonthtodeepclean,butIkepttheplacetidymyselfforthemostpart.
“Whydon’twegettoknoweachother?”Boothsaidinajovial,too-loudvoice.“Er,ImeanyouandRhys,YourHighness.Wecantalkneeds,expectations,schedules…”
“Excellentidea.”ImusteredastrainedsmileandgesturedRhystowardthecouch.“Please.Sit.”
Forthenextforty-fiveminutes,weranthroughlogisticsforthetransition.BoothwouldremainmybodyguarduntilMonday,butRhyswouldshadowhimuntilthensohecouldgetafeelforhowthingsworked.
“Thisisallfine.”Rhysclosedthefilecontainingadetailedbreakdownofmyclassandweeklyschedules,upcomingpublicevents,andexpectedtravel.“Letmebefrank,PrincessBridget.Youarenotmyfirst,norwillyoubethelast,royalI’veguarded.I’veworkedwithHarperSecurityforfiveyears,andI’veneverhadaclientharmedwhileundermyprotection.Doyouwanttoknowwhy?”
“Letmeguess.Yourdazzlingcharmstunnedthewould-beattackersintocomplacency,”Isaid.
Boothchokedoutalaugh,whichhequicklyturnedintoacough.
Rhys’smouthdidn’tsomuchastwitch.Ofcourseitdidn’t.Myjokewasn’tComedyCentralworthy,butIimaginedfindingawaterfallintheSaharawouldbeeasierthanfindingadropofhumorinthatbig,infuriatinglysculptedbody.
“Thereasonistwofold,”Rhyssaidcalmly,asifIhadn’tspokenatall.“One,Idonotbecomeinvolvedinmyclients’personallives.Iamheretosafeguardyoufromphysicalharm.Thatisall.Iamnotheretobeyourfriend,confidant,oranythingelse.Thisensuresmyjudgmentremainsuncompromised.Two,myclientsunderstandthewaythingsmustworkiftheyaretoremainsafe.”
“Andhowisthat?”Mypolitesmilecarriedawarningheeitherdidn’tnoticeorignored.
“TheydowhatIsay,whenIsayitforanythingsecurity-related.”Rhys’sgrayeyeslockedontomine.Itwaslikestaringatanunyieldingsteelwall.“Understand,YourHighness?”
Forgetloveandpassion.WhatIwantedmostwastoslapthearrogantexpressionoffhisfaceandkneehiminthefamilyjewelswhileIwasatit.
IpressedthepadsofmyfingersintomythighsandforcedmyselftocounttothreebeforeIresponded.
WhenIspokeagain,myvoicewasfrigidenoughtomakeAntarcticalooklikeabeachparadise.“Yes.”Mysmilesharpened.“Luckilyforusboth,Mr.Larsen,Ihavenointerestinbeingyourfriend,confidant,or‘anythingelse.’”
Ididn’tbotherdignifyingthesecondpartofhisstatement—theoneaboutmedoingwhathesaid,whenhesaidit—witharesponse.Iwasn’tanidiot.I’dalwaysheededBooth’ssecurityadvice,butI’dbedamnedifIfedintoRhys’sinflatedsenseofself.
“Good.”Rhysstood.Ihatedhowtallhewas.HispresenceobliteratedeverythingelseinthevicinityuntilhewastheonlythingIcouldfocuson.“I’llassessthehousebeforewediscussnextsteps,includingupgradingyoursecuritysystem.Rightnow,anyteenagerwithaccesstoYouTubetutorialscanbypassthealarm.”Heshotmeadisapprovingglarebeforehedisappearedintothekitchen.
Myjawdropped.“He—you…”Isputtered,uncharacteristicallyspeechless.“Why,Inever!”IturnedtoBooth,whowastryingtomeltintothegiantpottedplantbythefrontdoor.“You’renotleaving.Iforbidit.”
Rhyscouldnotbemybodyguard.Iwouldmurderhim,andmyhousekeeperwouldmurdermeforstainingthecarpetwithblood.
“Heprobablyhasfirst-dayjitters.”Boothlookedasuncertainashesounded.“You’llgetalongjustfineafterthe,ah,transitionperiod,YourHighness.”
Perhaps…ifwemadeitoutofthetransitionperiodalive.
“You’reright.”IpressedmyfingerstomytempleandtookadeepbreathIcandothis.I’ddealtwithdifficultpeoplebefore.MycousinAndreaswasthespawnofSatan,andaBritishlordoncetriedtogropemeunderthetableatMonaco’sRoseBall.HeonlystoppedafterI“accidentally”stabbedhishandwithafork
Whatwasonesurlybodyguardcomparedtoentitledaristocrats,nosyreporters,andevilfamilymembers?
Rhysreturned.Surprise,surprise,hisglowerhadn’tmelted.
“I’vedetectedsixsecurityvulnerabilitiesweneedtoaddressASAP,”hesaid.“Let’sstartwithnumberone:thewindows.”
“Whichones?”Staycalm.Stayreasonable.
“Allofthem.”
BoothcoveredhisfacewithhishandswhileIcontemplatedturningmyhairpinintoamurderweapon.
RhysandIdefinitelyweren’tmakingitoutofthetransitionalive.2
Rhys
PrincessBridgetvonAschebergofEldorrawouldbethedeathofme.Ifnotliteraldeath,thenthedeathofmypatienceandsanity.Ofthat,Iwascertain,andwe’donlybeenworkingtogetherfortwoweeks.
I’dneverhadaclientwhoinfuriatedmeasmuchasshedid.Sure,shewasbeautiful(notagoodthingwhenyouwereinmyposition)andcharming(toeveryoneexceptme),butshewasalsoaroyalpaininmyass.WhenIsaid“right,”shewentleft;whenIsaid“leave,”shestayed.SheinsistedonspontaneouslyattendingcrowdedeventsbeforeIcoulddotheadvancework,andshetreatedmysecurityconcernsliketheywereanafterthoughtinsteadofanemergency.
BridgetsaidthatwasthewaythingshadworkedwithBooth,andshe’dbeenfine.IsaidIwasn’tBooth,soIdidn’tgiveadamnwhatshedidordidn’tdowhenshewaswithhim.Irantheshownow.
Shedidn’ttakethatwell,butIdidn’tgiveashit.Iwasn’theretowinMr.Congeniality.Iwasheretokeepheralive.
Tonight,“here”meantthemostcrowdedbarinHazelburg.HalfofThayerhadturnedoutforTheCrypt’sFridaynighthalf-offspecials,andIwassurethebarwasovermaxcapacity.
Loudmusic,loudpeople.Myleastfavoritekindofplaceand,apparently,Bridget’smostfavorite,consideringhowvehementshe’dbeenaboutcominghere.
“So.”HerredheadedfriendJuleseyedmeovertherimofherglass.“YouwereaNavySEAL,huh?”
“Yes.”Iwasn’tfooledbyherflirtytoneorpartygirldemeanor.I’drunin-depthbackgroundchecksonallofBridget’sfriendsthemomentItookthejob,andIknewforafactJulesAmbrosewasmoredangerousthansheappeared.Butshedidn’tposeathreattoBridget,soIdidn’tmentionwhatshedidinOhio.Itwasn’tmystorytotell.
“Ilovemilitarymen,”shepurred.
“Ex-military,J.”Bridgetdidn’tlookatmeasshefinishedherdrink.“Besides,he’stoooldforyou.”
ThatwasoneofthefewthingsIagreedwithheron.Iwasonlythirty-one,soIwasn’tancientbyanymeans,butI’ddoneandwitnessedenoughshitinmylifetofeelancient,especiallycomparedtofresh-facedcollegestudentswhohadn’tevenhadtheirfirstrealjobyet.
I’dneverbeenfresh-faced,notevenwhenIwasakid.Igrewupindirtandgrit.
Meanwhile,Bridgetsatacrossfromme,lookinglikethefairytaleprincessshewas.Bigblueeyesandlushpinklipssetinaheart-shapedface,perfectalabasterskin,goldenhairfallinginloosewavesdownherback.Herblacktopbaredhersmoothshoulders,andtinydiamondsglitteredonherears.
Young,rich,andregal.Theoppositeofmeineveryway.
“Negative.Iloveoldermen.”Julesuppedthewattageofhersmileasshegavemeanotheronce-over.“Andyou’rehot.”
Ididn’tsmileback.Iwasn’tdumbenoughtogetinvolvedwithaclient’sfriend.IalreadyhadmyhandsfullwithBridget.
Figurativelyspeaking.
“Leavethemanalone.”Stellalaughed.Fashiondesignandcommunicationsmajor.Daughterofanenvironmentallawyerandthechiefofstafftoacabinetsecretary.Socialmediastar.MybraintickedoffallthethingsIknewaboutherasshesnappedaphotoofhercocktailbeforetakingasip.“Findsomeoneyourownage.”
“Guysmyageareboring.I’dknow.Idatedabunchofthem.”JulesnudgedAva,thelastmemberofBridget’sclosefriendgroup.AsidefromJules’sinappropriatecome-ons,theywereadecentbunch.CertainlybetterthanthefriendsoftheHollywoodstarletI’dguardedforthreeexcruciatingmonths,duringwhichIsawmore“accidental”genitalflashingsthanI’dthoughtIwouldeverseeinmylife.“Speakingofoldermen,where’syourboo?”
Avablushed.“Hecan’tmakeit.HehasaconferencecallwithsomebusinesspartnersinJapan.”
“Oh,he’llmakeit,”Julesdrawled.“Youinabar,surroundedbydrunken,hornycollegeguys?I’msurprisedhehasn’t—ah.Speakofthedevil.Thereheis.”
Ifollowedhergazetowhereatall,dark-hairedmancutapaththroughthecrowdofsaiddrunken,hornycollegeguys.
Greeneyes,tailoreddesignerclothing,andanicyexpressionthatmadethefrozentundraofGreenlandlookliketropicalislands.
AlexVolkov.
Iknewthenameandreputation,evenifIdidn’tknowhimpersonally.Hewasalegendincertaincircles.
ThedefactoCEOofthecountry’slargestrealestatedevelopmentcompany,AlexhadenoughconnectionsandblackmailmaterialtobringdownhalfofCongressandtheFortune500.
Ididn’ttrusthim,buthewasdatingoneofBridget’sbestfriends,whichmeanthispresencewasunavoidable.
Ava’sfacelitupwhenshesawhim.“Alex!Ithoughtyouhadabusinesscall.”
“Thecallwrappedupearly,soIthoughtI’dswingby.”Hebrushedhislipsoverhers.
“IlovewhenI’mright,whichisalmostalways.”JulesshotAlexaslyglance.“AlexVolkovinacollegebar?NeverthoughtI’dseetheday.”
Heignoredher.
Themusicchangedfromlow-keyR&Btoaremixofthelatestradiohit,andthebarwentwild.JulesandStellascrambledoutoftheirseatstohitthedancefloor,followedbyBridget,butAvastayedput.
“Youguysgo.I’llstayhere.”Sheyawned.“I’mkindatired.”
Juleslookedhorrified.“It’sonlyeleven!”Sheturnedtome.“Rhys,dancewithus.Youhavetomakeupforthis…blasphemy.”ShegesturedatwhereAvawascurledintoAlex’ssidewhilehewrappedaprotectivearmaroundhershoulders.Avamadeaface;Alex’sexpressiondidn’tsomuchasbudge.I’dseenblocksoficeshowmoreemotionthanhim.
Iremainedseated.“Idon’tdance.”
“Youdon’tdance.Alexdoesn’tsing.Aren’tyoutwoabundleofjoy,”Julesgrumbled.“Bridge,dosomething.”
Bridgetglancedatmebeforelookingaway.“He’sworking.Comeon,”sheteased.“Aren’tStellaandIenough?”
Julesletoutanaggrievedsigh.“Isuppose.Waytoguilt-tripme.”
“Ilearnedthesubtleartofguilt-trippinginprincessschool.”Bridgetpulledherfriendsontothedancefloor.“Let’sgo.”
Tonoone’ssurprise,AvaandAlexcalleditanightsoonafter,andIsatatthetablebymyself,keepinghalfaneyeonthegirlsandtheotherhalfontherestofthebar.Atleast,Itried.MygazestrayedbacktoBridgetandBridgetalonemoreoftenthanI’dlike,andnotjustbecauseshewasmyclient.
I’dknownshewouldbetroubletheminuteChristiantoldmeaboutmynewassignment.Told,notasked,becauseChristianHarperdealtinorders,notrequests.ButwehadenoughofahistoryIcould’veturneddowntheassignmenthadIwantedto—andI’dreallyfuckingwantedto.MeguardingthePrincessofEldorrawhenIwantednothingtodowithEldorra?Worstideainthehistoryofbadideas.
ThenI’dlookedatthepictureofBridgetandsawsomethinginhereyesthattuggedatme.Maybeitwasthehintoflonelinessorthevulnerabilityshetriedtohide.Whateveritwas,itwasenoughformetosayyes,albeitreluctantly.
NowhereIwas,stuckwithachargewhobarelytoleratedme,andviceversa
You’reagoddamnedidiot,Larsen.
ButasinfuriatingasIfoundBridget,Ihadtoadmit,Ilikedseeingherthewayshewastonight.Bigsmile,glowingface,eyessparklingwithlaughterandmischief.NoneofthelonelinessI’dspottedintheheadshotChristiangaveme.
Shethrewherhandsintheairandswayedherhipstothemusic,andmygazelingeredonthebareexpanseofherlong,smoothlegsbeforeItoreitaway,myjawtightening.
I’dguardedplentyofbeautifulwomenbefore,butwhenIsawBridgetinpersonforthefirsttime,I’dreactedinawayIneverhadformypreviousclients.Bloodheating,cockhardening,handsitchingtofindouthowhergoldenhairwouldfeelwrappedaroundmyfist.It’dbeenvisceral,unexpected,andalmostenoughtomakemewalkawayfromthejobbeforeIstarted,becauselustingafteraclientcouldonlyendindisaster.
Butmypridewonout,andIstayed.IjusthopedIwouldn’tregretit.
JulesandStellasaidsomethingtoBridget,whonoddedbeforetheyleftforwhatIpresumedwasthebathroom.They’dbeengoneforonlytwominuteswhenafratboy-lookingtypeinapinkpoloshirtbeelinedtowardBridgetwithadeterminedexpression.
Myshoulderstensed.
IrosefrommyseatrightasFratBoyreachedBridgetandwhisperedsomethinginherear.Sheshookherhead,buthedidn’tleave.
Somethingdarkunfurledinmystomach.IftherewasonethingIhated,itwasmenwhocouldn’ttakeafuckinghint.
FratBoyreachedforBridget.Shepulledherarmawaybeforehecouldmakecontactandsaidsomethingelse,herexpressionsharperthistime.Hisfacetwistedintoanuglyscowl.Hereachedforheragain,butbeforehecouldtouchher,Isteppedinbetweenthem,cuttinghimoff.
“Isthereaproblem?”Istareddownathim.
FratBoyoozedtheentitlementofsomeonewhowasn’tusedtohearingnothankstoDaddy’smoney,andhewaseithertoostupidortooarroganttorealizeIwastwosecondsawayfromrearranginghisfacesothoroughlyaplasticsurgeonwouldn’tbeabletofixit.
“Noproblem.Iwasjustaskinghertodance.”FratBoyeyedmelikehewasthinkingoftakingmeon.
Definitelystupid.
“Idon’twanttodance.”BridgetsteppedaroundmeandstaredFratBoydownherself.“Ialreadytoldyoutwice.Don’tmakemetellyouathirdtime.Youwon’tlikewhat’llhappen.”
ThereweretimeswhenIcouldforgetBridgetwasaprincess,likewhenshewassingingoff-keyintheshower—shethoughtIcouldn’thearher,butIcould—orpullinganall-nightstudysessionatthekitchentable.
Nowwasnotoneofthosetimes.Regalicinessradiatedfromhereverypore,andasmall,impressedsmirktouchedmymouthbeforeIsquashedit.
FratBoy’suglyscowlremained,buthewasoutnumbered,andheknewit.Heshuffledoff,muttering“Stupidcunt”underhisbreathashedidso.
JudgingbythewayBridget’scheekspinkened,sheheardhim.Unfortunatelyforhim,sodidI.
Hedidn’tmakeittwofeetbeforeIgrabbedhimhardenoughheyelped.OnestrategictwistofmywristandIcouldbreakhisarm,butIdidn’twanttocauseascene,sohewaslucky.
Fornow.
“Whatdidyousay?”Adangerousedgebledintomyvoice.
BridgetandIweren’teachother’sfavoritepeople,butthatdidn’tmakeitokayforanyonetocallhernames.Notundermywatch.
Itwasamatterofprincipleandbasicfuckingdecency.
“N-nothing.”FratBoy’spunybrainhadfinallycaughtupwiththesituation,andhisfacereddenedwithpanic.
“Idon’tthinkitwasnothing.”Itightenedmyhold,andhewhimperedinpain.“Ithinkyouusedaverybadwordtoinsulttheladyhere.”Anothertightening,anotherwhimper.“AndIthinkyoubetterapologizebeforethesituationescalates.Don’tyou?”
Ididn’tneedtospelloutwhatescalatesmeant.
“I’msorry,”FratBoymumbledtoBridget,whoblinkedbackathimwithanicyexpression.Shedidn’trespond.
“Ididn’thearyou,”Isaid.
FratBoy’seyesflashedwithhate,buthewasn’tstupidenoughtoargue.“I’msorry,”hesaidlouder.
“Forwhat?”
“Forcallingyoua…”Heshotafearfullookinmydirection.“Forcallingyouabadname.”
“And?”Iprompted.
Hisbrowcreasedinconfusion.
Mysmilecontainedmorethreatthanhumor.“Say,‘I’msorryforbeingalimp-dickedidiotwhodoesn’tknowhowtorespectwomen.’”
IthoughtIheardBridgetchokebackasmalllaugh,butIwasfocusedonFratBoy’sreaction.Helookedlikehewantedtopunchmewithhisfreehand,andIalmostwishedhewould.Itwouldbeamusingtoseehimtrytoreachmyface.Itoweredoverhimbyagoodeightinches,andhehadshrimparms.
“I’msorryforbeingalimp-dickedidiotwhodoesn’tknowhowtorespectwomen.”Resentmentpouredoffhiminwaves.
“Doyouaccepthisapology?”IaskedBridget.“Ifyoudon’t,Icantakethisoutside.”
FratBoypaled.
Bridgettiltedherhead,herfacepensive,andanothershadowofasmileghostedmymouth.She’sgood.
“Isuppose,”shefinallysaidinthetoneofsomeonewhowasdoingsomeoneelseahugefavor.“There’snousewastingmoreofourtimeonsomeoneinsignificant.”
MyamusementtemperedsomeoftheangerrunninghotinmyveinsatFratBoy’searliercomment.“Yougotlucky.”Ireleasedhim.“IfIeverseeyoubotheringheroranotherwomanagain…”Iloweredmyvoice.“Youmightaswelllearnhowtodoeverythingleft-handedbecauseyourrightonewillbeoutofcommission.Permanently.Nowleave.”
Ididn’thavetotellhimtwice.FratBoyfled,hispinkshirtbobbinginthecrowduntilhedisappearedouttheexit.
Goodriddance.
“Thankyou,”Bridgetsaid.“Iappreciateyoudealingwithhim,eventhoughit’sfrustratingittooksomeoneelsetointervenebeforehegotthehint.Isn’tmesayingnoenough?”Herbrowpuckeredwithannoyance.
“Somepeopleareidiots,andsomepeopleareassholes.”Isteppedasidetoallowagroupofgigglingpartygoerspast.“Justsohappenedyouranintoonewhowasboth.”
Thatearnedmeasmallsmile.“Mr.Larsen,Idobelievewe’rehavingacivilconversation.”
“Arewe?Someonechecktheweatherinhell,”Ideadpanned.
Bridget’ssmilewidened,andI’dbedamnedifIdidn’tfeelasmallkickinmygutatthesight.
“Howaboutadrink?”Shetiltedherheadtowardthebar.“Onme.”
Ishookmyhead.“I’montheclock,andIdon’tdrinkalcohol.”
Surpriseflashedacrossherface.“Ever?”
“Ever.”Nodrugs,noalcohol,nosmoking.I’dseenthehavoctheywreaked,andIhadnointerestinbecominganotherstatistic.“Notmything.”
Bridget’sexpressiontoldmeshesuspectedtherewasmoretothestorythanIwaslettingon,butshedidn’tpresstheissue,whichIappreciated.Somepeopleweretoodamnnosy.
“Sorrythattooksolong!”JulesreturnedwithStellaintow.“Thelineatthebathroomwasinsane.”HereyesrovedbetweenmeandBridget.“Everythingokay?”
“Yes.Mr.Larsenwaskeepingmecompanywhileyouguysweregone,”Bridgetsaidwithoutmissingabeat.
“Really?”Julesarchedaneyebrow.“Howniceofhim.”
NeitherBridgetnorItookthebait.
“Calmdown,J,”IheardStellasayasIreturnedtothetablenowthatI’dhandledthesituationwithFratBoyandherfriendswereback.“It’shisjobtolookafterher.”
Damnright.Itwasmyjob,andBridgetwasmyclient.Nothingmore,nothingless.
Bridgetglancedatme,andoureyeslockedforasplitsecondbeforeshelookedaway.
Myhandflexedonmythigh.
Sure,Iwasattractedtoher.Shewasbeautiful,smart,andhadaspineofsteel.OfcourseIwasattractedtoher.Thatdidn’tmeanIshouldorwouldactonit.
Inmyfiveyearsasabodyguard,I’dneveroncecrossedmyprofessionalboundaries.
AndIwasn’tabouttostartnow.3
Bridget
Oneoftheworstthingsabouthavingaround-the-clockbodyguardwaslivingwiththem.Ithadn’tbeenanissuewithBoothbecausewe’dgottenalongsowell,butlivinginclosequarterswithRhysputonmeonedge.
Suddenly,myhouseseemedtoosmall,andeverywhereIlooked,Rhyswasthere.
Drinkingcoffeeinthekitchen.Steppingoutoftheshower.Workingoutinthebackyard,hismusclesflexingandhisskingleamingwithsweat.
Itallfeltstrangelydomesticinawayithadn’tfeltwithBooth,andIdidn’tlikeitonebit.
“Aren’tyouhotinthoseclothes?”IaskedoneunseasonablywarmdayasIwatchedRhysdopush-ups.
Eventhoughitwasfall,thetemperaturehoveredinthehighseventies,andabeadofsweattrickleddownmyneckdespitemylightcottondressandtheice-coldlemonadeinmyhands.
Rhysmustberoastinginhisblackshirtandworkoutshorts.
“Tryingtogetmetotakemyshirtoff?”Hecontinuedhispushups,notsoundingtheleastbitwinded.
Warmththathadnothingtodowiththeweatherspreadacrossmycheeks.“Youwish.”Itwasn’tthemostinspiredanswer,butitwasallIcouldthinkof.
Honestly,IwascuriousaboutseeingRhysshirtless.NotbecauseIwantedtosneakapeekathisabs—whichIgrudginglyadmittedhadtobefantasticiftherestofhisbodywasanythingtogoby—butbecauseheseemedsodeterminednottobeshirtless.Evenwhenheleftthebathroomafterashower,hewasfullydressed.
Maybehewasuncomfortablegettinghalf-nakedinfrontofaclient,butIhadafeelingnotmuchdiscomfitedRhysLarsen.Ithadtobesomethingelse.Anembarrassingtattoo,maybe,orastrangeskinconditionthatonlyaffectedhistorso.
Rhysfinishedhispushupsandmovedontothepull-upbar.“Yougonnakeepoglingme,oryougotsomethingIcanhelpyouwith,princess?”
Thewarmthintensified.“Iwasn’toglingyou.Iwassecretlyprayingforyoutogetheatstroke.Ifyoudo,I’mnothelpingyou.Ihave…abooktoread.”
DearLord,whatamIsaying?Ididn’tmakesenseeventomyself.
AfterourmomentofsolidarityatTheCrypttwoweeksago,RhysandIhadsettledrightbackintoourfamiliarpatternofsnarkandsarcasm,whichIhated,becauseIwasn’tatypicallysnarkyandsarcasticperson.
AshadowofasmirkfilledthecornersofRhys’smouth,butitdisappearedbeforeitblossomedintosomethingreal.“Goodtoknow.”
Bynow,IwassureIwasbeetred,butIliftedmychinandreenteredthehousewithasmuchdignityasIcouldmuster.
LetRhysbakeinthesun.Ihopedhedidgetheatstroke.Maybethen,hewouldn’thaveenoughenergytobesuchanass.
Sadly,hedidn’t,andhehadplentyofenergylefttobeanass.
“How’sthebook?”hedrawledlater,whenhe’dfinishedhisworkoutandI’dgrabbedtheclosestbookIcouldfindbeforeheenteredthelivingroom.
“Riveting.”ItriedtofocusonthepageinsteadofthewayRhys’ssweat-dampenedshirtclungtohistorso.
Six-packabsforsure.Maybeevenaneight-pack.NotthatIwascounting.
“Sureseemsthatway.”Rhys’sfaceremainedimpassive,butIcouldhearthemockingbentinhisvoice.Hewalkedtothebathroom,andwithoutlookingback,headded,“Bytheway,princess,thebookisupsidedown.”
Islammedthehardcovershut,myskinblazingwithembarrassment.
God,hewasinsufferable.Agentlemanwouldn’tpointsomethinglikethatout,butRhysLarsenwasnogentleman.Hewasthebaneofmyexistence.
Unfortunately,Iwastheonlypersonwhothoughtso.Everyoneelsefoundhisgrumpinesscharming,includingmyfriendsandthepeopleattheshelter,soIcouldn’tevencommiseratewiththemoverhisbane-of-my-existence-ness.
“What’sthedealwithyournewbodyguard?”Wendy,oneoftheotherlong-termvolunteersatWags&Whiskers,whispered.ShesnuckapeekatwhereRhyssatinthecornerlikearigidstatueofmusclesandtattoos.“He’sgotthatwholestrong,silentthinggoingon.It’shot.”
“Yousaythat,butyou’renottheonewhohastolivewithhim.”
Itwastwodaysaftertheupside-downbookdebacle,andRhysandIhadn’texchangedanywordssinceexceptgoodmorningandgoodnight.
Ididn’tmind.Itmadeiteasiertopretendhedidn’texist.
Wendylaughed.“I’llgladlychangeplaceswithyou.Myroommatekeepsmicrowavingfishandstinkingupthekitchen,andshelooksnothinglikeyourbodyguard.”Shetightenedherponytailandstood.“Speakingofchangingplaces,Ihavetoheadoutforstudygroup.Doyouhaveeverythingyouneed?”
Inodded.I’dtakenoverWendy’sshiftenoughtimesbynowtohavetheroutinedownpat.
Aftersheleft,silencedescended,sothickitdrapedaroundmelikeacloak.
Rhysdidn’tmovefromhiscornerspot.Wewerealone,buthiseyesrovedaroundtheplayroomlikeheexpectedanassassintopopoutfrombehindthecatcondoatanyminute.
“Doesitgetexhausting?”IscratchedMeadow,theshelter’snewestcat,behindtheears.
“What?”
“Beingonallthetime.”Constantlyalert,searchingfordanger.Itwashisjob,butI’dneverseenRhysrelax,notevenwhenitwasjustthetwoofusathome.
“No.”
“Youknowyoucangivemorethanone-wordanswers,right?”
“Yes.”
Hewasimpossible.
“ThankGodIhaveyou,sweetie,”IsaidtoMeadow.“Atleastyoucancarryonadecentconversation.”
Shemeowedinagreement,andIsmiled.Isworecatsweresmarterthanhumanssometimes.
TherewasanotherlongstretchofsilencebeforeRhyssurprisedmebyasking,“Whydoyouvolunteeratananimalshelter?”
Iwassostartledbythefacthe’dinitiatedanon-security-relatedconversationIfrozemid-pet.Meadowmeowedagain,thistimeinprotest.
IresumedmypettinganddebatedhowmuchtotellRhysbeforesettlingonthesimpleanswer.“Ilikeanimals.Hence,animalshelter.”
“Hmm.”
Myspinestiffenedattheskepticisminhisvoice.“Whydoyouask?”
Rhysshrugged.“Justdoesn’tseemlikethekindathingyou’dliketodoinyourfreetime.”
Ididn’thavetoasktoknowwhattypesofthingshethoughtIlikeddoinginmyfreetime.Mostpeoplelookedatmeandmadeassumptionsbasedonmyappearanceandbackground,andyes,someofthemweretrue.Ienjoyedshoppingandpartiesasmuchasthenextgirl,butthatdidn’tmeanIdidn’tcareaboutotherthingstoo.
“It’samazinghowmuchinsightyouhaveintomypersonalityafterknowingmeforonlyamonth,”Isaidcoolly.
“Idomyresearch,princess.”ItwastheonlywayRhysaddressedme.HerefusedtocallmebymyfirstnameorYourHighness.Inturn,IrefusedtocallhimanythingexceptMr.Larsen.Iwasn’tsureifitaccomplishedanything,sincehegavenoindicationitbotheredhim,butitsatisfiedthepettypartofme.“Iknowmoreaboutyouthanyouthink.”
“ButnotwhyIvolunteeratananimalshelter.So,clearly,youneedtobrushuponyourresearchskills.”
Heflickedthosesteelygrayeyesinmydirection,andIthoughtIspottedahintofamusementbeforethewallscrasheddownagain.“Touché.”Hehesitated,thenaddedreluctantly,“You’redifferentfromwhatIexpected.”
“Why?BecauseI’mnotasuperficialairhead?”MyvoicechilledanotherdegreeasItriedtocoveruptheunexpectedstingofhiswords.
“Ineversaidyouwereasuperficialairhead.”
“Youimpliedit.”
Rhysgrimaced.“You’renotthefirstroyalI’veguarded,”hesaid.“You’renoteventhethirdorfourth.Theyallactedsimilarly,andIexpectedyoutodothesame.Butyou’renot…”
Iarchedaneyebrow.“I’mnot…?”
AsmallsmileghostedacrosshisfacesofastIalmostmissedit.“Asuperficialairhead.”
Icouldn’thelpit.Ilaughed.
Me,laughingatsomethingRhysLarsensaid.Hellmust’veicedover.
“Mymomwasahugeanimallover,”Isaid,surprisingmyself.Ihadn’tplannedontalkingaboutmymotherwithRhys,butIfeltcompelledtotakeadvantageofthelullinournormallyantagonisticrelationship.“Igotthegenefromher.Butthepalacedidn’tallowpets,andtheonlywayIcouldregularlyinteractwithanimalswasbyvolunteeringatshelters.”
IheldoutmyhandandsmiledwhenMeadowpawedatitlikeshewasgivingmealowfive.“Ienjoyit,butIalsodoitbecause…”Isearchedfortherightwords.“Itmakesmefeelclosertomymom.Theloveforanimalsissomethingonlyweshared.Therestofmyfamilylikesthemfine,butnotinthesamewaywedo.Ordid.”
Ididn’tknowwhatpromptedmyadmission.WasitbecauseIwantedtoproveIwasn’tvolunteeringasaPRstunt?WhydidIcarewhatRhysthoughtofme,anyway?
OrmaybeitwasbecauseIneededtotalkaboutmymomtosomeonewhohadn’tknownher.InAthenberg,Icouldn’tmentionherwithoutpeopleshootingmepityinglooks,butRhyswasascalmandunruffledasever.
“Iunderstand,”hesaid.
Twosimplewords,yettheycrawledinsidemeandsoothedapartofmeIhadn’tknownneededsoothing.
Oureyesmet,andtheairdevelopedanotherlayerofthickness.
Dark,mysterious,piercing.Rhyshadthekindofeyesthatsawstraightintoaperson’ssoul,strippingpastlayersofelaborateliestoreachtheuglytruthsunderneath.
Howmanyofmytruthscouldhesee?Couldheseethegirlbeneaththemask,theonewho’dcarriedadecades-longburdenshewasterrifiedtoshare,theonewho’dkilled—
“Master!Spankme,Master!”Leatherchosethatmomenttoletlooseoneofhisnotoriouslyinappropriateoutbursts.“Pleasespankme!”
Thespellshatteredasquicklyasithadbeencast.
Rhysflickedhisgazeaway,andIlookeddown,mybreathgustingoutinamixtureofreliefanddisappointment.
“Mas—”LeatherquietedwhenRhysleveleditwithaglare.Thebirdruffleditsfeathersandhoppedarounditscagebeforesettlingintoanervoussilence.
“Congratulations,”Isaid,tryingtoshakeofftheunsettlingelectricityfromamomentago.“Youmightbethefirstpersonwho’severgottenLeathertostopmid-sentence.Youshouldadopthim.”
“Fuckno.Idon’tdofoul-mouthedanimals.”
Westaredateachotherforasecondbeforeasmallgiggleslippedfrommymouthandtheironcurtainshieldinghiseyesliftedenoughformetospotanotherglimmerofhumor.
Wedidn’ttalkagainfortherestofmyshift,butthemoodbetweenushadlightenedenoughthatI’dconvincedmyselfRhysandIcouldhaveafunctionalworkingrelationship.
Iwasn’tsureifitwasoptimismordelusion,butmybrainalwayslatchedontothesmallestevidencethingsweren’tsobadtocopewithdiscomfort.
Thewindnippedatthebareskinonmyfaceandneckaswewalkedhomeaftermyshift.RhysandIhadfoughtoverwhethertowalkordrive,butintheend,evenhehadtoadmititwouldbesillytodrivesomewheresoclose.
“AreyouexcitedtovisitEldorra?”Iasked.WewereleavingforAthenberginafewdaysforwinterbreak,andRhyshadmentioneditwouldbehisfirsttimeinthecountry.
I’dhopedtobuildonourearlierflashofcamaraderie,butI’dmisjudgedbecauseRhys’sfaceshutdownfasterthanahousepartyraidedbycops.
“I’mnotgoingthereforvacation,princess.”HesaidtherelikeIwasforcinghimtogotoaprisoncamp,notaplaceTravel+Leisurehadnamedtheninth-bestcityintheworldtovisit.
“Iknowyou’renotgoingforvacation.”Itriedandfailedtokeeptheannoyanceoutofmyvoice.“Butyou’llhavefreeti—”
Thehigh-pitchedsquealoftiresrippedthroughtheair.Mybraindidn’thavetimetoprocessthesoundbeforeRhyspushedmeintoanearbyalleywayandpressedmetightagainstthewallwithhisgundrawnandhisbodycoveringmine.
Mypulsekickedintohighgear,bothatthesuddenspikeofadrenalineandtheproximitytohim.Heradiatedheatandtensionfromeveryinchofhisbig,muscledframe,anditwrappedaroundmelikeacocoonasacarspedpastblastingmusicandleakinglaughteroutofitshalf-openwindows.
Rhys’sheartbeatthumpedagainstmyshoulderblades,andwestayedfrozeninthealleywaylongafterthemusicfadedandtheonlysoundleftwasourheavybreathing.
“Mr.Larsen,”Isaidquietly.“Ithinkwe’reokay.”
Hedidn’tmove.Iwastrappedbetweenhimandthebrick,twoimmovablewallsshieldingmefromtheworld.He’dbracedonehandprotectivelyagainstthewallnexttomyhead,andhestoodsocloseIcouldfeeleverysculptedridgeandcontourofhisbodyagainstmine.
AnotherlongbeatpassedbeforeRhysre-holsteredhisgunandturnedhisheadtolookatme.
“Yousureyou’reokay?”Hisvoicewasdeepandgruff,andhiseyessearchedmeforinjurieseventhoughnothinghadhappenedtome.
“Yes.Thecartookaturntoofast.That’sall.”Iletoutanervouslaugh,myskintoohotforcomfortbeneathhisfierceperusal.“Iwasmorestartledbyyouthrowingmeintothealley.”
“That’swhyweshould’vedriven.”Hesteppedback,takinghisheatwithhim,andcoolairrushedtofillthevoid.Ishivered,wishingI’dwornathickersweater.Itwassuddenlytoocold.“You’retooopenandunprotectedwalkingaroundlikethis.Thatcould’vebeenadrive-by.”
Ialmostlaughedatthethought.“Idon’tthinkso.Catswillflybeforethere’sadrive-byinHazelburg.”Itwasoneofthesafesttownsinthecountry,andmostofthestudentsdidn’tevenowncars.
Rhysdidn’tlookimpressedbymyanalogy.“HowmanytimesdoIhavetotellyou?Itonlytakesonce.Nomorewalkingtoandfromtheshelterfromnowon.”
“Itwasliterallynothing.You’reoverreacting,”Isaid,myannoyancereturningfullforce.
Hisexpressionturnedtogranite.“Itismyjobtothinkofeverythingthatcouldgowrong.Ifyoudon’tlikeit,fireme.Untilthen,dowhatIsay,whenIsayit,likeItoldyouonthefirstday.”
Anytraceofoursemi-trucefromthesheltervanished.IwishedIcouldfirehim,butIdidn’thaveasayoverstaffingdecisionsandnogoodreasontofireRhysotherthanwedidn’tgetalong.
I’dbeensosureourshelterinteractionmarkedthebeginningofanewphaseinourrelationship,butRhysandIhadtakenonestepforwardandtwostepsback.
IpicturedusflyingtoAthenbergwithnothingexceptourfamiliaricysilencekeepinguscompanyforhoursandgrimaced.
ItwasgoingtobealongChristmasbreak.4
Rhys/Bridget
RHYS
BridgetandIarrivedinAthenberg,Eldorra’scapital,fourdaysaftermyno-more-walkingdecreeopenedasecondfrontinourongoingcoldwar.TheplaneridehadbeenchillierthanawinterdipinaRussianriver,butIdidn’tcare.
Ididn’tneedhertolikemetodomyjob.
Iscannedthecity’snear-emptyNationalCemetery,listeningtotheeeriehowlofthewindwhistlethroughthebaretrees.Adeepchillsweptthroughthecemetery,burrowingpastmylayersofclothingandsinkingdeepintomybones.
Todaywasthefirstsemi-freedayonBridget’sschedulesincewelanded,andshe’dshockedthehelloutofmewhensheinsistedonspendingitatthecemetery.
WhenIsawwhy,though,Iunderstood
Imaintainedarespectfuldistancefromwhereshekneeledbeforetwotombstones,butIwasstillcloseenoughtoseethenamesengravedonthem.
JosefinevonAscheberg.FrederikvonAscheberg.
Herparents.
I’dbeentenwhenCrownPrincessJosefinediedduringchildbirth.IrememberedseeingphotosofthelateprincesssplashedacrossmagazinesandTVscreensforweeks.PrinceFrederikhaddiedafewyearslaterinacarcrash.
BridgetandIweren’tfriends.Hell,weweren’tevenfriendlymostofthetime.Thatdidn’tstopthestrangetugatmyheartwhenIsawthesadnessonherfaceasshemurmuredsomethingtoherparents’graves.
Bridgetbrushedastrandofhairoutofherface,hersadexpressionmeltingintoasmallsmileasshesaidsomethingelse.Irarelygaveadamnwhatpeopledidandsaidintheirpersonallives,butIalmostwishedIwerecloseenoughtohearwhatmadehersmile.
Myphonepinged,andIwelcomedthedistractionfrommyunsettlingthoughtsuntilIsawthemessage.
Christian:Icangetyouthenameinlessthantenminutes.
Me:No.Dropit.
Anothermessagepoppedup,butIpocketedmyphonewithoutreadingit.
Irritationspikedthroughme.
Christianwasapersistentbastardwhoreveledindiggingintotheskeletonsofotherpeople’spasts.He’dbeenbuggingmesincehefoundoutIwasspendingtheholidaysinEldorra—heknewmyhang-upsaboutthecountry—andifheweren’tmybossandtheclosestthingIhadtoafriend,hisfacewould’vemetmyfistbynow.
ItoldhimIdidn’twantthename,andImeantit.I’dsurvivedthirty-oneyearswithoutknowing.Icouldsurvivethirty-onemore,orhoweverlongittookbeforeIkickedthebucket.
IreturnedmyattentiontoBridgetjustasatwigsnappednearby,followedbythesoftclickofacamerashutter.
Myheadjerkedup,andalowgrowlrumbledfrommythroatwhenIspottedatelltalepoufofblondhairpeekingfromthetopofanearbytombstone.
Fuckingpaparazzi.
Theassholesqueakedandtriedtofleewhenherealizedhe’dbeencaught,butIstormedoverandgrabbedthebackofhisjacketbeforehecouldtakemorethanafewsteps.
IsawBridgetstandupoutofthecornerofmyeye,herexpressionconcerned.
“Givemeyourcamera,”Isaid,mycalmvoicebelyingmyanger.Paparazziwereaninescapableevilwhenguardinghigh-profilepeople,buttherewasadifferencebetweensnappingphotosofsomeoneeatingandshoppingversussnappingphotosoftheminaprivatemoment.
Bridgetwasvisitingherparents’graves,forfuck’ssake,andthispieceofshithadthenervetointrude.
“Noway,”thepaparazzoblustered.“Thisisafreecountry,andPrincessBridgetisapublicfigure.Ican—”
Ididn’twaitforhimtofinishhissentencebeforeIyankedthecamerafromhishand,droppeditontheground,andsmasheditintosmithereenswithmyboot.
Ididn’tlikeaskingtwice.
Hehowledinprotest.“Thatwasafive-thousand-dollarcamera!”
“Consideryourselfluckythat’sallthatgotbroken.”Ireleasedhisjacketandstraighteneditforhim,themovementmoreathreatthanacourtesy.“Youhavefivesecondstogetoutofmysightbeforethatchanges.”
Thepaparazzowasindignant,buthewasn’tstupid.Twosecondslater,he’ddisappearedthroughthetrees,leavingthepiecesofhisnowuselesscamerabehind.Aminuteafterthat,Iheardanengineturnoverandacarpeeloutoftheparkinglot.
“Irecognizehim.He’sfromtheNationalExpress.”Bridgetcameupbesideme,lookingnotatallsurprisedbytheturnofevents.“Thetrashiestofthetabloids.They’llprobablyrunastoryaboutmejoiningaSatanicringorsomethingafterwhatyoudidtohiscamera.”
Isnorted.“Hedeservedit.Ican’tstandpeoplewhodon’trespectothers’privacy.”
Asmallsmileflittedacrossherface,thefirstshe’dgivenmeindays,andtheearlierchillabated.“He’spaparazzi.It’shisjobtoinvadeothers’privacy.”
“Notwhenpeopleareatthefuckingcemetery.”
“I’musedtoit.UnlessI’minthepalace,there’salwaysachancewhatIdowillendupinthepapers.”Bridgetsoundedresigned.“Thankyoufortakingcareofthat,evenifyourmethodwasmore…aggressivethanIwould’veadvised.”Ahintofsadnessremainedinhereyes,andIfeltthatstrangetuginmychestagain.MaybeitwasbecauseIrelatedtothesourceofhersadness—thefeelingIwasallaloneintheworld,withoutthetwopeoplewhoweresupposedtolovememostbymyside.
I’dneverhadthatparentallove,sodespitetheholeitleft,Ididn’tunderstandwhatIwasmissing.Bridgethadexperiencedit,atleastonherfather’sside,soIimaginedthelosswasevengreaterforher.
You’renotheretorelatetoher,asshole.You’reheretoguardher.That’sit.Nomatterhowbeautifulorsadshelooked,orhowmuchIwantedtoerasethemelancholycloakingher.
Itwasn’tmyjobtomakeherfeelbetter.
Isteppedback.“Youready?Wecanstaylongerifyouwant,butyouhaveaneventinanhour.”
“No,I’mready.IjustwantedtowishmyparentsaMerryChristmasandcatchthemuponmylife.”Bridgettuckedastrandofhairbehindherear,lookingself-conscious.“Itsoundssilly,butit’stradition,andIfeellikethey’relistening…”Shetrailedoff.“LikeIsaid,it’ssilly.”
“It’snotsilly.”Atightnessformedinmychestandspreaduntilitchokedmewithmemoriesbestleftforgotten.“Idothesamewithmyoldmilitarybuddies.”TheonesburiedintheD.C.area,anyway,thoughItriedtomakeitouttotheotherplaceswhenIcould.
Iwasthereasontheyweredead.TheleastIcoulddowaspaymyrespects.
“DoyoustayintouchwithyourfriendsfromtheNavy?”Bridgetaskedaswewalkedtowardtheexit.
Ikeptaneyeoutforanymorepaparazziorne’er-do-wells,buttherewasnooneelsearoundexceptforusandghostsfromthepast.
“Acouple.NotasoftenasI’dlike.”
Myunithadbeenmyfamily,butafterwhathappened,itbecametoohardforthesurvivorstokeepintouch.Weremindedeachothertoomuchofwhatwe’dlost.
TheonlypersonIkeptinregulartouchwithwasmyoldcommanderfrommyearlydaysintheNavy.
“Whatmadeyouleave?”Bridgettuckedherhandsdeeperintohercoatpockets,andIresistedtheurgetodrawherclosersoIcouldsharesomeofmybodyheat.Itwasdamncold,andhercoatdidn’tlookthickenoughtoprotectherfromthewind.
“Itgottoomuch.Thedeployments,theuncertainty,thefunerals.WatchingthemenIservedwithdierightinfrontofme.”Thetightnesssqueezed,andIforcedmyselftobreathethroughitbeforecontinuing.“Itfuckedmeup,andifIhadn’tleftwhenIdid…”Iwould’velostwhatwasleftofmyself.Ishookmyhead.“It’sthesamestoryasalotofvets.I’mnoonespecial.”
Wereachedthecar,butwhenIopenedthedoorforBridgettogetin,sherestedherhandonmyarminstead.
Istiffened,hertouchburningthroughmyclothesmoreeffectivelythananychillorflame.
“I’msorry,”shesaid.“Bothforwhathappenedandforprying.”
“Igotoutyearsago.IfIdidn’twanttotalkaboutit,Iwouldn’t.It’snotabigdeal.”Ipulledmyarmawayandopenedthecardoorwider,buttheimprintofhertouchlingered.“Idon’tregretmytimeintheNavy.Theguysinmyunitwerelikebrotherstome,theclosestIeverhadtoarealfamily,andIwouldn’tgivethatupfortheworld.Butthefrontlinestuff?Yeah,Iwasoverthatshit.”
I’dneversharedthatwithanyonebefore.Thenagain,I’dhadnoonetoshareitwithexceptmyoldtherapist,andI’dhadenoughissuestoworkthroughwithherwithoutdelvingintowhyIleftthemilitary.
“Yetyouchosetobeabodyguardafter,”Bridgetnoted.“Notexactlyadanger-freeoccupation.”
“Ihavetheskillstobeagoodbodyguard.”AlotofformerSEALswenttheprivatesecurityroute,andChristianmayhavebeenabastard,buthewasapersuasivebastard.He’dconvincedmetosignonthedottedlinelessthanadayafterIreturnedtoU.S.soil.“Don’tthinkI’veeverbeeninasmuchdangerassinceyoubecamemyclient,though.”
Herbrowscrunchedinconfusion,andIalmostsmiled.
Almost.
“Myriskofrupturinganarteryincreasedtenfold.”
Bridget’sconfusioncleared,replacedwithanoddcombinationofdelightandexasperation.“Gladtoseeyoufoundyoursenseofhumor,Mr.Larsen.It’saChristmasmiracle.”
Achuckleescapedmythroat,thesoundsoforeignIbarelyrecognizeditasmyown,andsomethinginmysoulstirred,nudgedawakebythereminderotherthingsexistedbesidesthedarknessthathadhauntedmeforsolong.
SurpriseflaredinBridget’seyesbeforesheofferedatentativesmileinreturn,andthesomethinglifteditsheadatthefurtherencouragement.
Ishoveditbackdown.
Alaughwasfine.Anythingelsewasnot.
“Let’sgo.”Iwipedthesmileoffmyface.“Orwe’llbelate.”
***
BRIDGET
IfIcouldsumupmyrelationshipwithRhyswithonesong,itwouldbeKatyPerry’s“HotNCold.”Oneminute,wewerefightingandgivingeachotherthecoldshoulder.Thenext,wewerelaughingandbondingoverjokes.
Okay,bondingwastoostrongawordforwhathadhappenedinthecemeteryparkinglot.Actinglikenormalhumanbeingstowardeachotherwasmoreaccurate.AndRhyshadn’tsomuchlaughedasslippedupwithahalfchuckle,butmaybethatconstitutedalaughinhisworld.Icouldn’tpicturehimthrowinghisheadbackwithmirthanymorethanIcouldpictureTheRockdancingballet.
ButiftherewasonethingI’dlearnedoverthepastmonth,itwasIneededtotakeadvantageoftheupsinourrelationshipwhenIcould.So,aftermyplanned“surprise”visittoalocalhighschool,whereIgaveaspeechontheimportanceofkindnessandmentalhealth,IbroughtupatopicI’dbeenavoidingforthepastweek.
“IusuallystayinEldorralongerfortheholidays,butI’mgladwe’reheadingbacktocampusearlierthisyear,”Isaidcasuallyaswesettledintoourseatsatarestaurantbytheschool
Noanswer.
JustwhenIthoughtRhyswouldignorethebait,hesaid,“Spititout,princess.Whatdoyouwant?”
Theregoesthegrumpinessagain.
Asmallfrowntouchedmyface.IfeltlikeakidaskingpermissionfromaparentwhenItalkedtohim,whichwasridiculous,butheradiatedsuchauthorityIsometimesforgothewasmyemployeeandnottheotherwayaround.
Well,technically,hewasacontractorwiththepalace,butthatwasaminordistinction.
“MyfavoritebandiscomingtoD.C.inJanuary.AvaandIalreadyboughtticketstoseethem,”Isaid.
“Bandnameandlocation.”
Itoldhim.
“I’llcheckitoutandletyouknow.”Rhyssnappedhismenuclosedwhenourserverapproached.“Burger,mediumrare,please.Thankyou.”
Iplacedmyorderandwaitedfortheservertoleavebeforerepeatinginatightvoice,“Ialreadyboughtthetickets.”Translation:I’mgoingwhetherornotyoulikeit.
“Refundableones,Ihope.”Hissharpgazeglidedthroughtherestaurant,notmissingasingledetailaboutthepatronsorroomlayout.
Aaaandtherewentthedowninourrelationship,justlikeclockwork.
“Yourjobisn’ttorunmylife.Stopactinglikeanoverprotectiveparent.”Myfrustrationmounted.Iwouldratherhatehimallthetimethanhavemyemotionsswingbackandforthlikeabrokengauge.Itwasexhausting.“Howareyoustillemployed?I’msurprisedyourpreviousclientshaven’tcomplainedtoyourcompanyaboutyour…your…”
RhysarchedaneyebrowwhileIfumbledfortherightwords.
“Youroverbearingtendencies,”Ifinishedlamely.Dammit.Ineededabiggerarsenalofbetterinsults.
“BecauseI’mthebest.Theyknowit,andsodoyou,”hesaidarrogantly.Heleanedforward,hiseyesdarkening.“YouthinkIwanttoparentyou?Idon’t.IfIwantedkids,I’dgetmyselfanofficejobandshackupinsomecookie-cuttersuburbanhomewithapicketfenceandadog.I’minthisfieldofworktosavelives,princess.I’vetakenplentyof‘em,andnow—”Hestoppedabruptly,buthiswordslingeredintheair.
Iflashedbacktohiswordsfromtheparkinglot.Itgottoomuch.Thedeployments,theuncertainty,thefunerals.WatchingmenIconsideredbrothersdierightinfrontofme.
Rhyshadn’tgoneintodetailaboutwhathappenedwhenhewasinthemilitary,buthedidn’tneedto.Icouldonlyimagine.
Guiltandsympathyblossomedinmystomachandcurledaroundmyheart.
ThatwaswhyIvacillatedsomuchinmyfeelingstowardhim.IdislikedRhys’sattitudeandactions,butIdidn’tdislikehim,becauseIunderstoodwhyhedidwhathedid.
Itwasaconundrum,andunfortunately,Ididn’tseeawayoutofit.
“Itonlytakesoneslipup,”Rhysfinished.“Onesecondofdistraction,andyoucouldwalkintoaminefieldandgetblowntohell.Onelapseofjudgment,andyoucouldendupwithabulletinyourhead.”Heleanedback,shuttersfallingoverthosegunmetaleyes.“Sono,Idon’tgiveafuckifyoualreadyboughttickets.I’mstillgonnachecktheplaceout,andifanythinglooksoff,you’renotgoing.Endofstory.”
Mymindswirledwithadozendifferentresponses,buttheonethatcameoutwasn’ttheoneI’dintendedtosayatall.
“We’renotinawarzone,”Isaidgently.“Wedon’thavetobeonguardtwenty-four-seven.”
Rhys’sjawhardened,andeventhoughhe’dgottenoutoftheNavyyearsago,Iwonderedhowlonghe’dbeenfightinghisowninnerbattles.
“Lifeisawarzone,princess.Thesooneryouunderstandthat,thesaferyou’llbe.”
Whilemylifewasn’tperfect,itwasfarbetterthanmostpeople’s.Iknewthat.I’dgrownupinabubble,protectedfromtheworstofhumanity,andIwasincrediblyprivilegedforthatreason.ButtheideaoflivinglifelikeIwasatwarwithiteverydaymademeindescribablysad.
“There’smoretolifethantryingnottodie.”IkeptmygazeonRhysasourserverbroughtoutourordersandsetthemonthetable.“It’sjustaconcert.IpromiseI’llbefine.”5
Rhys
I’llbefine,myass.
Bridget’swords,spokenwithsuchconfidenceamonthago,hadcomebacktobiteher,andbyextensionme,intheproverbialbehind.Afterlookingintotheconcertvenue,I’dexpresslytoldhernottoattendtheperformance,whichtookplaceinsomesketchywarehousethatshould’vebeenshutdownforbreakingathousandandonesafetycoderegulations.Thebuildingwasonestronggustofwindawayfromcollapsing.
YetBridgethadgoneagainstmyordersandsnuckoutinthemiddleofthenighttoattendthedamnconcert,onlytogetkidnappedafterward.
Thatwasright.Fuckingkidnappedbyamercenarywho’dgrabbedherandAvaoffthestreet.
Itwasn’teventheconcertthatpissedmeoff.IfBridgethadinsistedongoing,Iwould’vegonewithher,becauseshewastheclient.Icouldn’tphysicallyrestrainherfromdoingwhatshewanted.
No,Iwaspissedaboutthefactshe’dgonebehindmybackandthewholekidnappingincidentcould’vebeenavoidedhadshebeenhonestwithme.
IglancedintherearviewmirrortoreassuremyselfBridgetwasstillthere.AsfuriousasIwas,thesightofherinthebackseat,bruisedbutsafe,easedsomeoftheicyterrorthathadgrippedmesinceIwokeupandrealizedshewasgone.
Luckily,I’dhadtheforesighttoplantasecrettrackingchipinherphoneafewweeksearlier,andit’dledmetoPhiladelphia,whereIfoundherandAvatiedupandatthemercyofagunmanforhire.Thewholesituationresultedfromalong,sordidsagainvolvingAlexVolkov,Alex’spsychounclewho’dkidnappedAvaasleverageagainsthisnephew,andyearsofsecretsandrevenge.
Ihonestlydidn’tgiveashitaboutthedrama.AllI’dcaredaboutwasgettingBridgetoutoftheresafely,andIhad,ifonlysoIcouldtearherapartwithmyownhands.
“Ava’sstayingwithustonight.”Bridgetsmoothedahandoverherfriend’shair,herbrowknitinaworriedfrown.“Idon’twanthertobealone.”
Avalaycurledupinherlap,hersobssofterthanbeforebutstillfrequentenoughtomakemewince.Ihadnocluewhattodoaroundcryingpeople,especiallyoneswhosenowex-boyfriendconfessedtolyingtoherduringtheirentirerelationshiptogetrevengeonthemanhe’dthoughthadmurderedhisfamily.AndthatwasonlytheCliffsNotesversionofwhathadhappened.
Itwasfucked-upshit,butAlexVolkovhadalwaysbeenalittlefuckedupinanImightmurderyouifI’minabadmoodkindofway.Atleasteveryonewasalive…exceptforhisuncleandthegunman.
“Fine.”Thewordricochetedthroughthecarlikeabullet.
Bridgetflinched,andasmallkernelofguilttookrootinmystomach.Itwasn’tenoughtodrownoutmyanger,butitwasenoughtomakemefeellikeanassholeasIpulledupinfrontofherhouse.She’dbeenthroughhell,andIshouldlethersleepofftheeventsofthepasttwenty-hoursfirstbeforeIlaidintoher.
Keyword:should.ButI’dnevercaredmuchaboutwhatIshoulddo.WhatmatteredwaswhatIneededtodo,andIneededBridgettounderstandshecouldn’tfuckaroundwithmyrules.Theyweretheretoprotecther,dammit,andifanythinghappenedtoher…
Freshterrorstabbedatme.
Weenteredthehouse,andIwaiteduntilAvaretreatedtoBridget’sroombeforeIjerkedmyheadtomyright.“Kitchen.Now.”
Bridgetwrappedherarmsaroundherchest.Anotherwaveofangercrashedovermeatthesightoftheraw,reddenedskinwheretheropeshaddugintoherwrists.
Ifthemercenaryweren’talreadydead,I’dcarvehimupmyself,andIwouldtakealonger,sweetertimethanAlexhad.
Shewalkedintothekitchenandbusiedherselfmakingacupoftea,avoidingmygazetheentiretime.
“Everythingworkedout,”shesaidinasmallvoice.“I’mokay.”
Aveinpulsedinmytemple.“You’reokay,”Irepeated.Itcameoutasasnarl.
Westoodfivefeetfromeachother.Meinthedoorway,myfistsclenchedatmysides;Bridgetbythesink,herhandswrappedaroundhermugandhereyeshugeinherpaleface.Herusualcool,regaldemeanorhaddisappeared,strippedbarebytheeventsofthepasttwenty-fourhours,andIdetectedaslighttrembleinhershoulders.
“Imadeamistake,but—”
“Amistake?”Firescorchedmyveins,searingmefromtheinsideout.“Amistakeisshowingupatthewrongclass.Amistakeisforgettingtolockthedoorwhenyouleavethehouse.It’snotgettingkidnappedandalmostkilledbyapsychobecauseyousnuckoutlikeahighschoolerbreakingcurfew.I’dsaythatwasmorethanamistake.”
MyvoicerosewitheachworduntilIwasyelling.I’dneverlostmycoolwithaclientbefore,butBridgethadanuncannyabilitytowringeveryemotionoutofme,goodandbad.
“It’snotlikeIwantedtogetkidnapped.”SomeofthefirereturnedtoBridget’seyes.“Theconcertwasperfectlysafe,despitewhatyousaid.Itwasonlyafter…”Shetookadeepbreath.“Theyweren’ttargetingme.TheytargetedAva,andIhappenedtobewithher.Itcould’vehappenedatanytime.”
Theveininmytemplepulsedharder.“No.Itcouldn’thavehappenedanytime.”Istalkedtowardher,mymouthflatteningwithgrimpleasurewhenIsawhereyeswideninfear.Good.Sheshouldfearme,becauseIwasabouttorainhellalloverhernaivelittleparade.“Doyouwanttoknowwhy?”
Bridgetwiselychosenottoanswer.ForeverystepItookforward,shetookonebackuntilherbackpressedagainstthewall,herwhite-knuckledhandsstranglinghermug.
“BecauseIwould’vebeenthere,”Ihissed.“Idon’tgiveaflyingfuckwhetheryou,Ava,orfuckingBigBirdwasthetarget.IfI’dbeenthere,Iwould’veneutralizedtheassholebeforeheeverlaidahandonyou.”Itwasn’tarrogance;itwasthetruth.TherewasareasonIwasHarperSecurity’smostin-demandagent,anditwasn’tmypersonality.“WhatdidItellyouwhenwefirstmet?”
Bridgetdidn’trespond.
“What.Did.I.Tell.You?”Iplantedmyforearmonthewallaboveherheadandmyhandbythesideofherface,effectivelycagingherin.WeweresocloseIcouldsmellherperfume—somethingsubtleandintoxicating,likefreshflowersonasummerday—andseethedarkringaroundherpupils.I’dneverseeneyeslikethatbefore,sodeepandblueitwaslikestaringstraightintothedepthsoftheocean.Theywerethekindofeyesthatluredyouinandsuckedyouunderbeforeyouknewwhatwashappening.
ThefactInoticedthosestupidthingsinthemiddleoftheworstdayofmycareeronlypissedmeoffmore.
“Dowhatyousay,whenyousayit.”Ahintofdefiancetemperedherwhisper.
“That’sright.Youdidn’t,andyoualmostdied.”IfIhadn’tgottentherewhenIhad…Mybloodicedover.Alexhadbeenthere,butthatcrazyfuckerwasasliabletoshootBridgetashewastosaveher.“Doyouknowwhatcould’ve—”Istoppedmid-sentence.Iwasyellingagain.Iclenchedmyjawandforcedmyselftotakeadeepbreath.“IknowyouthinkI’moverbearingandparanoid,butIdon’tsay‘no’becauseIwanttotortureyou,princess.Iwanttoprotectyou,andifyoukeepdefyingmeateveryturn,you’regonnagetyourselfandthosearoundyoukilled.Isthatwhatyouwant?”
“No.”Thedefiancewasstillthere,butIdidn’tmissthesuspicioussheeninBridget’seyesortheslightwobbleinherchin.
Toughloveworked,andsheneededabigheapofit.
Still,IsoftenedtheharshedgeofmyvoicewhenIspokenext.
“Youneedtotrustme.Stopfightingmeoneverything,andforfuck’ssake,don’tsneakbehindmyback.Talktomefirstnexttime.”
“EverytimeItrytotalktoyou,weendupfightingandtheconversationgoesnowhere.”Bridgetstaredatme,daringmetosayotherwise.Ididn’t.Iwasusedtodoingthingsmyway,andmywaywasusuallyright.“Trustisatwo-waystreet.Youplacedasecretchipinmyphone—”
“It’sagoodthingIdid,oryou’dprobablybedeadrightnow,”Igrowled.
Shepressedherlipstogether,andmygazeinadvertentlydroppedtohermouth.Lush,pink,andcapableofmoresassthanonewouldexpectfromaprimandproperprincess.Excepttherewasnothingprimandproperaboutwhatlaybeneathhersurface…oraboutthethoughtsrunningthroughmymind.
Itwastheworstpossibletimeformetobethinkingaboutanythingremotelyrelatedtosex.She’dgottenkidnappedlessthanforty-eighthoursago,forChrist’ssake.Butadrenalineandarousalhadalwaysgonehandinhandforme,andifIwerehonest,therewereveryfewinstanceswhenshedidn’tturnmeon.EvenwhenIwaspissedather,Iwantedher.
Mycockthickened,andmyhandsclenchedintofistsoncemore.I’dguardedthemostbeautifulwomenontheplanet—moviestars,supermodels,heiresses,manyofwhomhadmadeitcleartheyweremorethanwillingtosubmittomyordersbothinsideandoutsidethebedroom—butI’dnevertakenthemupontheiroffers.Neverbeentemptedto.
Figuredtheonewomanwho’dratherseemeburnthantouchmewastheoneIendeduplustingafter.
“YousaidIneedtotrustyou.HowcanIdothatifyoudon’ttrustme?”Bridgetslippedintohernegotiationvoice,whichIrecognizedfromthecountlesspubliceventsI’daccompaniedherto.
Thevoiceirkedmebeyondbelief.I’dmuchratherhersnapatmethantreatmelikesomedamnstrangersheneededtogetoffherback.
“Iproposeacompromise.Takeoutthechip,andI’lldowhatyousay,whenyousayit,aslongasit’ssecurity-related.”Bridget’sgazeburnedintomine.“Ipromise.”
Un-freaking-believable.Shewasinthewronghere,andshewasnegotiatingwithme.
AndIwasthinkingofsayingyes.
“WhyshouldIbelieveyou?”Mybreathcameoutinaharshexhale,andasmallshiverrolledthroughherbody.Icouldseehernipplesclearlythroughthethinblacksilkofherdress.Hardandpebbled,beggingformytouch.Maybeitwasbecauseofthechill—theonethickwallsanddouble-glazedwindowscouldn’tquitekeepout—butjudgingbyBridget’sflushedcheeks,Iwasn’ttheonlyoneawareofthechargedairbetweenus.
Mynostrilsflared.Iwasstillhardasarock,andIloathedit.Loathedher,fortemptingmethisway.Loathedmyself,fornothavingmoreself-controlwhenitcametoher.
“Idon’tbreakmypromises,Mr.Larsen.”BridgetinsistedoncallingmebymylastnamethesamewayIinsistedoncallingherprincess.Itirritatedusboth,butneitherofuswouldbackdownfirst.Storyofourentirerelationship.“Dowehaveadeal?”
Myjawtickedinrhythmwithmypulse.One.Two.Three.
Myfirstinstinctwastosayhellno.Thechipwastheonlyreasonshewasaliverightnow.Butthiswastheclosestwe’devergottentoatruce,andwhileIhadnoproblemplayingthebadcop,IwouldmuchratherworkwithacooperativeBridgetthanbreathedownherneckeveryday.
“Fine,”Igroundout.“Westartwithatrialperiod.Fourmonths.Youkeepupyourendofthebargain,andIbackoff.Ifyoudon’t,Iwillhandcuffyoutomeuntilyoucan’tevenpissinpeace.Understand?”
Herlipsthinnedfurther,butshedidn’targue.“Afour-monthtrial.Fine.”Shehesitated,thenadded,“Onemorething…”
Disbelieffilledmyveins.“You’vegottobekiddingme.”
Redstainedhercheeks.“Youcan’ttellanyonewhathappened.Especiallynotthepalace.”
“You’reaskingmetolie.”IwasrequiredtowriteupeveryincidentwithaclientandsubmitittoChristian.Thelastguywhohadn’t…let’sjustsayheregrettedhisdecision.Bigtime.
“Notlie,omit,”Bridgetcorrectedme.“Thinkaboutit.Ifmygrandfatherfindsoutwhathappened,you’llbefired,andyourreputationwillbetrashed.”
Appealingtomyego.Nicetry,princess.
“Myreputationcanhandleit.”Iraisedaneyebrow.“Ithoughtyou’dbehappytogetridofme.”
Theredonhercheeksdeepened.“Youknowwhattheysay.Betterthedevilyouknow…”
“Hmm.”Asidefromtheoccasionalcivilinteraction,wecouldn’tstandeachother,myhardcockandherhardnipplesnotwithstanding.Lustwasonething,butifwekeptthisup,we’dkilleachother.Nottomention,IwouldbebreakingallsortsofrulesifIkeptwhathappenedinPhiladelphiasecret.IshouldreportittoChristianandlethimdealwiththepalace.Hewasbetteratthatdiplomaticcrap,anyway.
ButthethoughtofwalkingawayfromBridgetandneverseeingheragaincausedastrangetwingeofdiscomfort.Asinfuriatingasshewas,shewasoneofthemoreinterestingclientsI’dhad.Smarter,kinder,lessspoiledandentitled.
“Idon’tsupposeyourrequesthasanythingtodowiththefactyou’llneverbreatheasecondoffreeairagainoncethekingfindsoutwhathappened.”Mybreathtickledherear,andanothershiverrolledthroughher.“Hmm,princess?”
Forsomeonesecondinlinetothethrone,shehadquiteabitofleewayinhercomingsandgoings.ButifKingEdvardfoundoutsomeonehadkidnappedhispreciousgranddaughter,hewouldhaveherunderlockandkey.
Bridgetswallowedhard.“Doesitmatter?Wewantthesamethingintheend.Tomaintainthestatusquo.Youkeepyourreputation;Ikeepmyfreedom.”
Keepthestatusquo?Hardly.
Itwouldbesoeasytogiveintothedesireroaringthroughmyveins,towrapherhairaroundmyfistandfindoutjusthowmuchheatshehidbeneaththatcoolexterior.ShewanteditasmuchasIdid.Icouldhearitinherraggedbreaths,seeitinthewayshelookedatme,feelitintheslightarchofherbodyagainstmine.
Apparently,Iwasn’ttheonlyoneridinghighonangerandadrenaline.
Thinkwithyourbighead,Larsen.Notyoursmallone.
Iclosedmyeyesandforcedmyselftosilentlycounttofive.WhenIopenedthemagain,theyclashedwithBridget’s.
Graystormsagainstblueskies.
“Yougotyourselfadeal.Butifyoubreakitorgobehindmybackagain…”Myvoicelowered,darkandfullofunspokenthreats.“You’llfindoutthehardwaywhathappenswhenyoubargainwiththedevil.”6
Bridget
TrialMonthOne
“You’rejoking.”Ipulledtheblackvestoutofthepackage,lettingitdanglefrommyfingerslikeadirtypieceoflaundry.
Rhyssippedhiscoffeeanddidn’tlookupfromhisnewspaper.“Idon’tjokeaboutsafety.”
“Thisisabulletproofvest.”
“I’maware.Iboughtit.”
Inhale.Exhale.“Mr.Larsen,pleaseexplainwhyIneedabulletproofvest.WhereamIsupposedtowearit,class?Mynextvolunteershift?”
“Toprotectyouagainstbullets,andsure.Ifyou’dlike.”
Amuscletwitchedbeneathmyeye.It’dbeenamonthsinceweagreedtoourdeal,andIgotit.I’dmessedup.Inevershould’vesnuckoutwithAva,butshe’dbeensodownaboutherrelationshiptroubleswithAlexandI’dwantedtocheerherup.
Obviously,ithadbackfired,bigtime.
Thekidnappingincidenthadthrownabucketofcoldwaterovermypreviouslyrosyoutlookonpersonalsafety,andIwascommittedtoactingmoreresponsibly.IhatedadmittingwhenRhyswasrightbecausehewassuchanarrogantassaboutitmostofthetime,butheputhislifeonthelineformeeveryday.However,healsoseemedintentonmakingmerenegeonthedealbythrowingthemostoutrageoussuggestionsmyway.
Likeafreakin’bulletproofvest.
“Iboughtthevestasajust-in-caseitem,”Rhyssaidmildly.“Nowthatyoumentionit,weshouldtakeitforatestspinnexttimeyou’reinpublic.”
Takeoutthechip,andI’lldowhatyousay,whenyousayit,aslongasit’ssecurity-related.Ipromise.
Igrittedmyteeth.Rhyshadtakenthechipout,andIdidn’tbreakmypromises.
“Fine.”Alightbulbflashedinmyhead,andaslowsmilespreadacrossmyface.“I’llputitonnow.”
Hefinallyraisedhishead,hisfacedarkwithsuspicionathoweasilyI’dcapitulated.“Wherearewegoing?”
“Shopping.”
IftherewasonethingRhyshated,itwasaccompanyingmeshopping.Itwassuchastereotypicalmaleweakness,andIfullyintendedtoexploitit.
Mysmilewidenedwhenhisfacedarkenedfurther.
Thisisgoingtobefun.
Anhourlater,wearrivedattheHazelburgMall,afour-storymeccaofstoresIcouldtortureRhyswith.Luckily,itwaswinter,whichmeantIcouldhidemostofthevest’sbulkbeneathachunkysweaterandcoat.
AccordingtoRhys,he’dboughtalighterversionforme,butthevestwasstillhot,heavy,andawkward.Ialmostregrettedmyshoppingrevengeplan,butRhys’sferociousscowlmadeitallworthit…untilcatastrophestruck.
IwastryingonclothesinourdozenthboutiqueofthedaywhenIgotstuckinadress.I’daccidentallygrabbedthewrongsize,andtheunforgivingmaterialdugintomyribcagewhiletrappingmyarmsabovemyhead.Icouldn’tsee,andIcouldbarelymove.
“Shit.”Irarelycursed,butthesituationcalledforit.Oneofmylifelongirrationalfearswasgettingstuckinclothinginastore.
“What’swrong?”Rhysdemandedfromoutsidethedressingroom.“Iseverythingokay?”
“Yes.”Ipinchedthesidesofthedressandtriedpullingitupagain,tonoavail.“I’mfine.”
Tenminuteslater,Iwassweatingandpantingfromexertionandthelackoffreshair,andmyarmsachedfrombeingheldupsolong.
Shit,shit,shit.
“Whatthehellisgoingoninthere?”Rhys’sannoyancecamethroughthedoor,loudandclear.“You’retakingtoolong.”
Ihadnochoice.Ihadtoaskforhelp.“Canyoucallasalesassistantover?Ineedtheirhelpwitha,uh,clothingissue.”
Therewasalongpause.“You’restuck.”
Flamesofembarrassmentlickedmyskin.“Justcallsomeoneover.Please.”
“Can’t.Oneemployeeleftforlunch,andtheotherissixpeopledeepattheregister.”FiguredRhyswouldbetrackingeveryone’smovementswhilehewaitedforme.“I’llhelp.”
IfIcouldseemyreflection,IwassureI’dseeamaskofhorrorstaringbackatme.“No.Youcan’tcomeinhere!”
“Whynot?”
“BecauseI’m…”Half-naked.Exposed.“Indecent.”
“I’veseenhalf-nakedwomenbefore,princess.EitherletmeinsoIcangetyououtofwhateverjamyou’rein,orsittightforthenexthourbecausethat’showlongit’sgonnatakethecashiertogetthroughtheweekendcrowd.They’removingslowerthanaturtleonmorphine.”
Theuniversehatedme.Iwassureofit.
“Fine.”Iforcedthewordout,theflamesofembarrassmentburninghotter.“Comein.”
Thedressingroomdoorsdidn’thavelocks,andasecondlater,Rhys’spresencefilledthetinyspace.EvenifIhadn’theardhimenter,Iwould’vefelthim.Heexudedanintenseenergythatchargedeverymoleculeofairuntilitvibratedwithhim.
Raw.Masculine.Powerful.
Iheldmybreathasheapproached,hisbootssoftonthelinoleumfloor.Forsomeonesolarge,hemovedwiththegraceofapanther.
Thedresscoveredmychest,butmylacepantieswereonfulldisplay,andItriednottothinkabouthowmuchskinIwasshowingasRhysstoppedinfrontofme.HewascloseenoughIcouldfeeltheheatradiatingfromhisbodyandsmellhisclean,soapyscent.
Tensionandsilencehummedinequalmeasurewhenhegrippedthehemofthedressabovemyheadandpulled.Itsliduphalfacentimeterbeforeitstoppedagain,andIwincedwhenthefabricdugintoafreshsectionofflesh.
“I’mgoingtotryfromthebottomup,”Rhyssaid,hisvoicedetachedandcontrolled.
Bottomup.Meaninghehadtoputhishandsonmybareskin.
“Okay.”ItcameoutsqueakierthanIwould’veliked.
Everymuscletensedwhenherestedhispalmsonthetopofmyribcage.Hesmoothedhisthumbsbrieflyoverthechafedareawherethedresshaddugintomyskinbeforehehookedhisfingersbeneaththematerialasmuchashecouldandincheditup.
Icouldn’tholdmybreathanymore.
Ifinallyexhaled,mychestheavinglikeitwastryingtopushitselfdeeperintoRhys’srough,warmtouch.Thebreathssoundedembarrassinglyloudinthesilence.
Rhyspaused.Thedresswashalfwayupmyshouldersnow,enoughtobaremybra-cladchest.
“Calmyourbreathing,princess,orthisain’tgonnawork,”hesaid,soundingatouchmorestrainedthanhehadaminuteago.
Heatscorchedmyskin,butIwrestledmybreathingundercontrol,andheresumedhiswork.
Anotherinch…another…andIwasfree
Freshairassaultedmynostrils,andIblinkedtoadjusttothelightafterbeingtrappedinthedressforthepasttwentyminutes.
Iclutchedthematerialinfrontofme,myfacehotwithembarrassmentandrelief.
“Thankyou.”Ididn’tknowwhatelsetosay.
Rhyssteppedback,hisjawlikegranite.Insteadofresponding,hepickedupthebulletproofvestandT-shirtI’dwornbeneathitandcrookedhisfinger.“Comehere.”
“Icanputitonmyself.”
Again,noresponse.
Isighedandwalkedtowherehestood.Iwastootiredtofight,andIdidn’tresistwhenheslippedtheT-shirtovermyhead,followedbythevest.Iwatchedhiminthemirrorwhileheworked,adjustingthevestandstrapsuntilitsatcomfortablyonmytorso.Istillheldmydressinfrontofme,anglingitsoitcoveredmyunderwear.
Ididn’tknowwhyIbothered.Rhysshowedasmuchinterestinmyhalf-nakedformashewouldinafoammannequin.
Astrangeneedleofirritationprickedatme.
Rhysfinishedfixingthevest,butbeforeIcouldstepaway,hishandsclosedaroundmybicepsinanirongrip.Theyweresolargetheyeasilyencircledmyarms.
Helockedeyeswithmeinthemirrorandloweredhisheaduntilhismouthhoverednexttomyear.
Myheartskippedafranticbeat,andIclutchedthedresstighterinfrontofme.
“Don’tthinkIdon’tknowwhatyou’vebeendoingallday.”Rhys’sbreathwhisperedacrossmyskininadarkwarning.“Iindulgedyouthistime,princess,butIdon’tlikegames.Luckyforyou,youpassedthetest.”Heslidhishandsupmyarmsuntiltheyrestedonmyvest-cladshoulders,leavingatrailoffireintheirwake.“Youneedtolearnhowtofollowinstructionswithoutarguing.Idon’tcareifyouthinkI’mbeingridiculous.Asecond’sdelaycanmeanthedifferencebetweenlifeanddeath.Isayduck,youduck.Isaywearabulletproofvesttothefuckingbeach,youwearthevest.Understand?”
Mygripstrangledthedress.“ThevestwasatesttoseeifIwouldwearit?Thatisso…underhanded.”Anentiredaywastedonastupidtest.Indignationunfurledinmystomach.“Ihatewhenyoudostufflikethis.”
Agrimhalf-smiletouchedRhys’slips.“I’dratheryouhatemealivethanlovemedead.”Hereleasedmyshoulders.“Getdressed.We’releaving.”
Thedoorshutbehindhim.
Icouldfinallybreatheeasyagain,butIcouldn’tstophiswordsfromechoinginmymind.
I’dratheryouhatemealivethanlovemedead.
Theproblemwas,Ididn’thatehim.Ihatedhisrulesandrestrictions,butIdidn’thatehim.
IwishedIdid.
Itwouldmakemylifealotsimpler.
***
TrialMonthThree
“Ican’tgo.”
“Whatdoyoumeanyoucan’tgo?”Jules’sdisbeliefoozedovertheline.“We’vebeentalkingaboutthefestivalsincesophomoreyear.Wehavecoordinatedoutfits.Stellarentedacar!Wemightdieontheroadbecauseshe’saterribledriver—”
“Iheardthat!”Stellayelledinthebackground.
“—butshe’stheonlyonewithalicense.”
“Iknow.”IglaredatRhys,whosatonthecouchpolishingaknifelikeapsycho.“Acertainbodyguarddeemeditunsafe.”
MyfriendsandIhadplannedonattendingtheRokburymusicfestivalforyears,andnow,Ihadtosititout.
“So?Comeanyway.Heworksforyou,nottheotherwayaround.”
IwishedIcould,butwewerestillinthetrialperiodofourdeal,andRhys’sconcernsweren’ttotallyoffbase.RokburytookplaceatacampgroundanhourandahalfoutsideNewYorkCity,andwhileitlookedlikeablast,somethinginevitablywentwrongeveryyear—afestivalgoer’stentcatchingfire,adrunkengroupfightleadingtoseveralhospitalizations,apanic-inducedstampede.Itwasalsosupposedtostormtheweekendofthisyear’sfestival,whichmeantthecampgroundwouldprobablyturnintoagiantmudpit,butmyfriendswereriskingit,anyway.
“Sorry,J.Nexttime.”
Julessighed.“Tellyourmanhe’shotashellbutatotalbuzzkill.”
“He’snotmyman.He’smybodyguard.”Iloweredmyvoice,butIthoughtIsawRhyspauseforamillisecondbeforeheresumedpolishinghisknife.
“Evenworse.He’srunningyourlifeandyou’renotgettinganydickfromit.”
“Jules.”
“Youknowit’strue.”Anothersigh.“Fine,Igetit.We’llmissyou,butwe’llcatchupwhenwe’reback.”
“Soundsgood.”
Ihungupandsankintothearmchair,FOMO—FearofMissingOut—hittingmehard.I’dboughtthefestivalticketsmonthsago,beforeRhysstartedworkingforme,andI’dhadtosellthemtoarandomjuniorinmypoliticaltheoryclass.
“Ihopeyou’rehappy,”Isaidpointedly.
Hedidn’trespond.
RhysandIhadsettledintoamorefunctionaldynamicoverthepastthreemonths,buttherewerestilltimesIwantedtochuckatextbookathim.Likenow.
Whenthedayofthefestivalrolledaroundthefollowingweekend,however,Iwokeuptotheshockofmylife.
Iwalkedintothelivingroom,bleary-eyed,onlytofindittransformed.Thefurniturehadbeenpushedtotheside,replacedwithapileofboho-printedpillowsandcushionsonthefloor.Thecoffeetablegroanedbeneathvarioussnacksanddrinks,andtheRokburyfestivalplayedoutinrealtimeon-screen.Thepiècederésistance,however,wastheindoortentdecoratedwithstringlights,whichlookedexactlyliketheonespeoplesetuponthefestivalgrounds.
Rhyssatonthecouch,whichwasnowpressedflushagainstthewallbeneaththewindow,frowningathisphone.
“What…”Irubbedmyeyes.Nope,Iwasn’tdreaming.Thetent,thesnacks,theywereallthere.“Whatisthis?”
“Indoorfestival,”hegrunted.
“Youputthistogether.”Itwasastatementofdisbeliefmorethanaquestion.
“Reluctantly,andwithhelp.”Rhysglancedup.“Yourredheadedfriendisamenace.”
Ofcourse.Thatmademoresense.Myfriendsmust’vefeltbadIwasmissingthefestival,sotheyputtogetheraconsolationparty,sotospeak.Butsomethingdidn’taddup.
“Theyleftlastnight.”
“Theydroppedeverythingoffbeforehandwhileyouwereintheshower.”
Hmm,plausible.Itooklongshowers.
Appeasedanddelighted,Igrabbedanarmfulofchips,candy,andsodaandcrawledintothecushionedtent,whereIwatchedmyfavoritebandsperformtheirsetsontheTV.ThesoundandpicturequalitywassogoodIalmostfeltlikeIwasthere.
Admittedly,IwasmorecomfortablethanIwould’vebeenattheactualfestival,butImissedhavingpeopletoenjoyitwith.
Anhourin,Ipokedmyheadoutfromthetent,hesitant.“Mr.Larsen.Whydon’tyoujoinme?There’splentyoffood.”
Hewasstillsittingonthecouch,frowninglikeabearwho’dwokenuponthewrongsideofthecave.
“No,thanks.”
“Comeon.”Iwavedmyhandaround.“Don’tmakemepartyalone.That’sjustsad.”
Rhys’smouthtuggedinasmallsmirkbeforeheunfoldedhimselffromhisseat.“Onlybecauseyoulistenedaboutnotattendingthefestival.”
Thistime,Iwastheonewhofrowned.“Yousayitlikeyou’retrainingadog.”
“Mostthingsinlifeareliketrainingadog.”
“That’snottrue.”
“Showuptowork,getpaid.Wooagirl,getlaid.Study,getgoodgrades.Actionandreward.Societyrunsonit.”
Iopenedmymouthtoargue,buthehadapoint.
“Nooneusesthewordwooanymore,”Imuttered.Ihatedwhenhewasright.
Hissmirkdeepenedafractionofaninch.
Hewastoolargetofitinthetentwithme,sohesettledonthefloornexttoit.Despitemycajoling,herefusedtotouchthefood,leavingmetoinhalethesnacksonmyown.
Anotherhourlater,I’dingestedsomuchsugarandcarbsIfeltalittlesick,andRhyslookedboredenoughtofallasleep.
“Itakeityou’renotafanofelectronicmusic.”Istretchedandwinced.Thelastbagofsaltandvinegarchipshadbeenabadidea.
“ItsoundslikeaMountainDewcommercialgonewrong.”
Ialmostchokedonmywater.“Fairenough.”Iwipedmymouthwithanapkin,unabletohidemysmile.RhyswassoseriousIdelightedwheneverhisstonymaskcracked.“So,tellme.Ifyoudon’tlikeEDM,whatdoyoulike?”
“Don’tlistentomuchmusic.”
“Ahobby?”Ipersisted.“Youmusthaveahobby.”
Hedidn’tanswer,butthebriefflashofwarinessinhiseyestoldmeallIneededtoknow.
“Youdohaveone!”IknewsolittleaboutRhysoutsidehisjob,Ilatchedontothemorselofinformationlikeastarvedanimal.“Whatisit?Letmeguess,knitting.No,birdwatching.No,cosplay.”
Ipickedthemostrandom,un-Rhys-likehobbiesIcouldthinkof.
“No.”
“Stampcollecting?Yoga?Pokémon—”
“IfItellyou,willyoushutup?”hesaidcrankily.
Irespondedwithabeatificsmile.“Imight.”
Rhyshesitatedforalongmomentbeforesaying,“Idraw,sometimes.”
OfallthethingsI’dexpectedhimtosay,thatwasn’teveninthetophundred.
“Whatdoyoudraw?”Mytoneturnedteasing.“Iimagineit’salotofarmoredvehiclesandsecurityalarms.MaybeaGermanShepherdwhenyou’refeelingwarmandfuzzy.”
Hesnorted.“ExceptfortheShep,youmakemesoundboringasshit.”
Iopenedmymouth,andhehelduphishand.“Don’tthinkaboutit.”
Iclosedmymouth,butmysmileremained.“Howdidyougetintodrawing?”
“Mytherapistsuggestedit.Saiditwouldhelpwithmycondition.Turnsout,Ienjoyit.”Heshrugged.“Therapistisgone,butthedrawingstayed.”
Anotherboltofsurprisedartedthroughme,bothatthefacthe’dhadatherapistandthathespokesofreelyaboutit.Mostpeoplewouldn’tadmittoitsoeasily.
Itmadesense,though.He’dservedinthemilitaryforadecade.Iimaginedhe’dlivedthroughhisfairshareofscarringexperiences.
“PTSD?”Iaskedsoftly.
Rhysjerkedhisheadinaquicknod.“ComplexPTSD.”Hedidn’telaborate,andIdidn’tpresshim.Itwastoopersonalanissueformetopryinto.
“I’mdisappointed,”Isaid,changingthesubjectsinceIcouldfeelhimclosingoffagain.“I’dreallyhopedyouwereintocosplay.YouwouldmakeagoodThor,onlywithdarkhair.”
“Secondtimeyou’vetriedtogetmetotakemyshirtoff,princess.Careful,orI’llthinkyou’retryingtoseduceme.”
Heatconsumedmyface.“I’mnottryingtogetyourshirtoff.Thordoesn’teven—”IstoppedwhenRhysletoutalowchuckle.“You’remessingwithme.”
“Whenyougetriledup,yourfacelookslikeastrawberry.”
BetweentheindoorfestivalsetupandthewordsyourfacelookslikeastrawberryleavingRhys’smouth,IwasconvincedI’dwokenupinanalternatedimension
“Idonotlooklikeastrawberry,”IsaidwithasmuchdignityasIcouldmuster.“AtleastI’mnottheonewhorefusestogetsurgery.”
Rhys’sthick,darkbrowslowered.
“Foryourpermanentscowl,”Iclarified.“Agoodplasticsurgeoncanhelpyouwiththat.”
MywordshungintheairforasecondbeforeRhysdidsomethingthatshockedmetomycore.Helaughed.
Areallaugh,notthehalfchucklehe’dletslipinEldorra.Hiseyescrinkled,deepeningthefaint,oddlysexylinesaroundthem,andhisteethflashedwhiteagainsthistannedskin.
Thesoundslidoverme,asroughandtexturedasIimaginedhistouchwouldbe.
NotthatIhadeverimaginedwhathistouchwouldfeellike.Itwashypothetical.
“Touché.”Theremnantsofamusementfilledthecornersofhismouth,transforminghimfromgorgeoustodevastating.
Andthatwaswhenanothercatastrophehappened,onefarmoredisturbingthangettingstuckinatoo-tightdressinapublicdressingroom.
Somethinglightandvelvetybrushedagainstmyheart…andfluttered.Justonce,butitwasenoughformetoidentifyit.
Abutterfly.
No,no,no.
Ilovedanimals,Itrulydid,butIcouldnothaveabutterflylivinginmystomach.NotforRhysLarsen.Itneededtodieimmediately.
“Areyouokay?”Hegavemeastrangelook.“Youlooklikeyou’reabouttobesick.”
“Yes,I’mfine.”Irefocusedonthescreen,tryingmybestnottolookathim.“Iatetoomuch,toofast.That’sall.”
ButIwassoflusteredIcouldn’tfocusfortherestoftheafternoon,andwhenitfinallycametimeforbed,Icouldn’tsleepawink.
Icouldnotbeattractedtomybodyguard.Notinawaythatgavemebutterflies.
They’donlyflutteredwhenwefirstmet,butthey’ddiedquicklyafterRhysopenedhismouth.Whyweretheyreturningnow,whenIhadafullgraspofhowinsufferablehewas?
Getyourselftogether,Bridget.
Myphonebuzzedwithanincomingcall,andIpickeditup,gratefulforthedistraction.
“Bridge!”Julesbubbled,clearlytipsy.“Howareyouholdingup,babe?”
“I’minbed.”Ilaughed.“Havingfunatthefestival?”
“Yessss,butwishyouwerehere.It’snotasfunwithoutyou.”
“WishIwasthere,too.”Ibrushedastrandofhairoutofmyeye.“AtleastIhadtheindoorfestival.Thatwasabrilliantidea,bytheway.Thankyou.”
“Indoorfestival?”Julessoundedconfused.“Whatareyoutalkingabout?”
“ThesetupyouplannedwithRhys,”Iprompted.“Thetent,thecushions,thefood?”
“MaybeI’mdrunkerthanIthought,butyou’renotmakinganysense.Ididn’tplananythingwithRhys.”
Shesoundedsincere,andshehadnoreasontolie.ButifRhyshadn’tplanneditwithmyfriends,then…
Myheartratekickedupanotch.
Julescontinuedtalking,butI’dalreadytunedherout.
TheonlythingIcouldfocusonwasnottheone,butthethousandbutterfliesinvadingmystomach.7
Bridget
TrialMonthFour
Bythetimegraduationrolledaroundamonthlater,I’dcorralledthebutterfliesintoacage,butanerrantoneescapedtwice.Once,whenIsawRhyspettingMeadow,who’dwornhimdownwithheruttercuteness.AnothertimewhenIsawthewayhisarmmusclesflexedashecarriedgroceriesintothehouse.
Itdidn’ttakealottogetmybutterfliesgoing.Hussies.
Still,despitetheannoyingcritterslivingrent-freeinmystomach,ItriedtoactnormalaroundRhys.Ididn’thaveanotheroption.
“DoIgetamedaloracertificateofrecognitionformyincrediblerestraintoverthepastfourmonths?”Itjustsohappenedthelastdayofmytrialperiodcoincidedwithmygraduationceremony,andIcouldn’tresistteasingRhyswhilewewaitedforAvatosetuptheshotonhertripod.Shewasourunofficialphotographerforgroupphotostoday.
“No.Yougetatracker-freephone.”Rhysscannedthequad,hissuspiciousgazedrillingintosuburbandadswithbeerbelliesandWASP-ymomsdressedinhead-to-toeToryBurchalike.
“It’sbeentracker-freethisentiretime.”
“Nowitstaystracker-free.”
Apparently,Rhyshadneverheardofmatchingsomeone’senergy.Iwastryingtobelighthearted,andhewasmoreseriousthanaheartattack.
Really,Bridget?Thisistheguyyouwanttoflutterfor?
BeforeIcouldcomeupwithawittyresponse,Avawavedusoverforphotos,andRhyslingeredbehindwhileIsqueezedintotheshotwithJules,Stella,Josh,andAva,whowascontrollingthecamerathroughanapponherphone.
I’ddealwithmyinappropriateflutterslater.Itwasmylasttimeoncampuswithmyfriendsasastudent,sortof,andIwantedtoenjoyit.
“Yousteppedonmyfoot,”JulessnappedatJosh.
“Yourfootgotinmyway,”Joshsnappedback.
“LikeIwouldintentionallyputanypartofmybodyinyourway—”
“IneedtoLysolmyselftogetyour—”
“Stopit!”Stellaslashedherhandthroughtheair,startlingeveryonewithhersharptone.ShewasusuallythemostZeninourgroup.“OrI’llpostthecandidandveryunflatteringphotosIhaveofthebothofyouonline.”
JoshandJulesgasped.“Youwouldn’t,”theysaidatthesametimebeforeglaringateachother.
IstifledalaughwhileAva,whousuallyplayedreluctantmediatorbetweenherfriendandbrother,crackedasmile
Eventually,wewrangledeveryoneintoarespectablegroupshot,thenanother,andanother,untilwetookenoughpicturestofillahalfdozenalbumsanditwastimetosaygoodbye.
Ihuggedmyfriendsandtriedtoswallowthemessyballofemotioninmythroat.“I’llmissyouguys.”
JulesandStellawerestayinginD.C.toattendlawschoolandworkasanassistantatD.C.Stylemagazine,respectively,butAvawasheadingtoLondonforayear-longphotographyfellowship,andIwasmovingtoNewYork.
I’dconvincedthepalacetoletmestayintheU.S.asEldorra’sroyalambassador.IfaneventrequiredaroyalEldorranpresence,Iwasthepersonforthejob.Unfortunately,asmuchasIwantedtostayinD.C.,mostoftheeventstookplaceinNewYork,sothereIwouldgo.
IhuggedAvathehardestandlongest.BetweenherfamilydramaandbreakupwithAlex,she’dgonethroughhellthepastfewmonths,andsheneededextralove.
“You’lladoreLondon,”Isaid.“It’llbeafreshstart,andyouhavethelittleblackbookofmust-visitspotsIgaveyou.”
Avaflashedasmallsmile.“I’msureIwill.Thanks.”Sheglancedaround,andIwonderedifshewaslookingforAlex.Nomatterwhatshesaid,shewasn’toverhim,andsheprobablywouldn’tbeforawhile.
Ididn’tspothiminthecrowd,butIwasn’tsurprised.Forasupposedgenius,hecouldbequitetheidiot.He’dsaidanddonesomehurtfulthings,buthecaredaboutAva.Hewasjusteithertoostubbornortoostupidtoactonit.
ImadeamentalnotetopayhimavisitbeforeIleftforNewYork.Iwastiredofwaitingforhimtopullhisheadoutofhisass.
Afteronelastroundofhugs,myfriendsdriftedoffwiththeirfamiliesuntilitwasjustmeandRhys.
MygrandfatherandNikolaihadwantedtocome,buttheycanceledtheirtripatthelastminutebecauseofsomediplomaticcrisiswithItaly.Theywerebothdistraughtovermissingmygraduation,butI’dassuredthemitwasokay.
Anditwas.Iunderstoodtheresponsibilitiesthatcamewiththecrownandtheheir.Butitdidn’tmeanIcouldn’twallowinabitofself-pity.
“Youready?”Rhysasked,histoneashadegentlerthanusual.
Inodded,tampingdowntheflickeroflonelinessinmystomachaswewalkedtoourcar.Graduation,movingcities,sayinggoodbyetoeverythingI’dlovedforthepastfouryears…itwastoomuchchangeintooshortatime.
IwassolostinmythoughtsIdidn’tnoticewewereheadingintothecityinsteadofhomeuntilIspottedtheWashingtonMonumentglowinginthedistance.
“Wherearewegoing?”Istraightenedinmyseat.“You’renotdraggingmetosomewarehousesoyoucanbutcherme,areyou?”
Icouldn’tseeRhys’sface,butIcouldhearhiseyeroll.“IfIwantedtodothat,Iwould’vedonesothedayaftermeetingyou.”
Ifrowned,moreinsultedthanreassured,butmytartreplydiedonmylipswhenheadded,“Figuredyouwouldn’twanttostayhomeandordertakeoutongraduationnight.”
Ididn’twanttostayhomeongraduationnight.Itseemedsosad,butitseemedsaddertoeatdinnerbymyselfinsomefancyrestaurant.
IhadRhys,buthewaspaidtobethere,andhewasn’texactlyachattyconversationalist.Andyet…heknewexactlywhatIneededwithoutmeutteringaword.
AnotherbutterflyescapedinmystomachbeforeIshoveditbackintoitscage.
“Wherearewegoing,then?”Irepeatedmyquestion,intrigueedgingoutmyearliermelancholy.
Hepulledupinfrontofastripmall.Thereweren’tmanyofthoseinD.C.,butthisonecontainedallthetrappingsofasuburbanoutpost,includingaSubway,anailsalon,andarestaurantnamedWalia.
“BestEthiopianspotinthecity.”Rhyscuttheengine.
Myhearttripped.Ethiopianwasmyfavoritecuisine.Ofcourse,Rhyscould’vechosenitatrandomwithoutrememberingthefact,whichI’dletsliponetimeduringadrivehome.
“Idon’tbelieveyou,”Isaid.“BestEthiopianisonUStreet.”
Itwasn’t.OnetasteofWalia’sinjerasourdoughflatbreadandtibswotbeefhalfanhourlater,andIknewRhyswasright.ItwasthebestEthiopianspotinthecity.
“HowdidInotknowaboutthisplace?”Idemanded,breakingoffanotherpieceofinjeraandusingittoscoopupthemeat.InEthiopianculture,thebreadwasaneatingutensilasmuchasitwasfood.
“Itfliesundermostpeople’sradar.IguardedanEthiopianVIPforafewmonths.OnlyreasonIfoundoutaboutthisplace.”
“You’refullofsurprises.”Ichewedmyfood,thinking.AfterIswallowed,Isaid,“Sinceit’smygraduationnight,let’splayagame.It’scalledGettingtoKnowRhysLarsen.”
“Soundsboring.”Rhysflickedhiseyesaroundtherestaurant.“IalreadyknowRhysLarsen.”
“Idon’t.”
Heheavedalong-sufferingsigh,andIfoughttheurgetocheerbecausethesighmeanthewasabouttocave.Itdidn’thappenoften,butwhenitdid,Ireveledinitlikeakidinacandystore.
“Fine.”Rhyssatbackandfoldedhishandsoverhisstomach,thepictureofgrouchiness.“Onlybecauseit’syourgraduationnight.”
Ismiled.
Bridget:one.Rhys:zero.
Fortherestofdinner,IpepperedhimwithquestionsI’dalwayswantedtoask,startingwiththesmallstuff.
Favoritefood?Bakedsweetpotatoes.
Favoritecolor?Black.(Shocker).
Favoritemovie?ReservoirDogs.
AfterIexhaustedthebasics,Imovedontomorepersonalterritory.Tomysurprise,heansweredmostofmyquestionswithoutcomplaint.Theonlyonesheskirtedwerethoseabouthisfamily.
Biggestfear?Failure.
Biggestdream?Peace.
Biggestregret?Inaction.
Rhysdidn’telaborateonhisvagueanswers,andIdidn’tpushhim.He’dalreadygivenmemorethanI’dexpected,andifIpushedtoohard,hewouldshutdown.
Eventually,Iworkedupthecouragetobringupsomethingthathadbeenneedlingmeforthepastfewweeks.
Thehoneywinehelped.Itmademeallwarmandbuzzy,anditerodedmyinhibitionswitheverysip.
“AbouttheindoorfestivalyousetupforRokbury…”
Rhysstabbedatapieceofbeef,ignoringthetableofwomenoglinghimfromthecorner.“Whataboutit?”
“Myfriendsdidn’tknowwhatIwastalkingaboutwhenImentionedittothem.”I’dcheckedwithAvaandStellatoo,justincase,andthey’dbothstaredatmelikeI’dgrowntwoheads.
“So?”
Ifinishedmywine,mynervesjumpingallovertheplace.“So,yousaidmyfriendshelpedyouwiththesetup.”
Rhyschewedquietly,notansweringme.
“Didyou…”Astrangelumpformedinmythroat.Iblameditontoomuchfood.“Didyoucomeupwiththeidea?Andsetitupallbyyourself?”
“It’snotabigdeal.”Hecontinuedeatingwithoutlookingatme.
I’dknownitwashimsincemyphonecallwithJules,buthearinghimconfirmitwasawholeothermatter.
Thebutterfliesinmystomachescapedallatonce,andthelumpinmythroatgrew.“Itisabigdeal.Itwas…verythoughtful.Aswastonight.Thankyou.”Ispunmysilverringaroundmyfinger.“ButIdon’tunderstandwhyyoudidn’ttellmeitwasyouridea,orwhyyoudiditall.Youdon’tevenlikeme.”
Rhys’sbrowscrunched.“WhosaidIdidn’tlikeyou?”
“You.”
“Ineversaidthat.”
“Youimpliedit.You’realwayssogrumpyandscoldingme.”
“Onlywhenyoudon’tlisten.”
Ibitbackatartreply.Thenightwasgoingsowell,andIdidn’twanttoruinit,evenifhemademefeellikeamisbehavingchildsometimes.
“Ididn’ttellyoubecauseitwasinappropriate,”headdedgruffly.“You’remyclient.Ishouldnotbe…doingthosetypesofthings.”
Myheartcrashedagainstmyribcage.“Butyoudidit,anyway.”
Rhys’smouthflattenedintoadispleasedline,likehewasangryathisownactions.“Yes.”
“Why?”
Hefinallyliftedhiseyestomeetmine.“BecauseIunderstandwhatit’sliketobealone.”
Alone.
Thewordstruckmeharderthanitshould’ve.Iwasn’tphysicallyalone—Iwassurroundedbypeopleallday,everyday.ButnomatterhowmuchItriedtopretendIwasanormalcollegestudent,Iwasn’t.IwasthePrincessofEldorra.Itmeantglamourandcelebrity,butitalsomeantbodyguardsandround-the-clockprotection,bulletproofvestsandalifethatwasplanned,notlived.
TheotherroyalsIknew,includingmybrother,werecontentwithlivinglifeinafishbowl.Iwastheonlyoneclawingatmyinsides,desperatetoescapemyownskin.
Alone.
RhyssomehowrecognizedthatinherenttruthaboutmebeforeIdid.
“Thoughtfulandobservant.”Hewasobservantofhissurroundings,butIhadn’texpectedhimtobesoobservantofmehesawpartsofmeI’dhidfrommyself.“Youreallyarefullofsurprises.”
“Don’ttellanyone,orI’llhavetokillthem.”
Thetensioncracked,andasmall,genuinesmileblossomedonmylips.“Humoroustoo.I’mconvincedalienshavehijackedyourbody.”
Rhyssnorted.“I’dliketoseethemtry.”
Ididn’taskanymorequestionsafterthat,andRhysdidn’tofferanymoreanswers.Wefinishedourdinnerincompanionablesilence,andafterhepaid—he’drefusedtoentertaintheideaofsplittingthecheck—wewalkedoffthefoodinanearbypark.
“You’rereallylettingmewalkaroundherewithoutmyvest?”Iteased.Thebulletproofvesthunginthebackofmycloset,unusedsinceourtriptothemall.
AnimageofRhys’shandsonmyskininthedressingroomflashedthroughmymind,andmyfaceheated.
ThankGodit’sdarkout.
“Don’tmakemeregretit.”Rhyspausedbeforeadding,“You’veprovenyoucanhandleyourselfwithoutmebreathingdownyourneck.”Hesaiditalmostgrudgingly.
Ihadbeenmorecarefulwithmyactionsinrecentmonths,evenwithoutRhys’sexplicitinstructions,butIhadn’texpectedhimtonotice.He’dneversaidanythingaboutituntilnow.
Apleasantwarmthunfurledinmystomach.“Mr.Larsen,wemightnotkilleachotherafterall.”
Hismouthtwitched.
Wecontinuedwalkingthroughthepark,wherewepassedcouplesmakingoutonthebenches,teenshuddledbythefountain,andabuskerplayinghisheartoutontheguitar.
Iwantedtostayinthatpeacefulmomentforever,butdinner,alcohol,andalongdayconspiredtodriveexhaustionintomybones,andIcouldn’tholdbackasmallyawn.
Rhysnoticedinstantly.“Timetogo,princess.Let’sgetyoutobed.”
MaybeitwasbecauseIwasdeliriousfromfatigueandthehighemotionoftheday,ormaybeitwasbecauseofmyrecentdryspellwiththeoppositesex,butamentalimageofhim“gettingmetobed”flashedthroughmymind,andmyentirebodyflushed.
Becauseinmyimagination,weweredoinganythingbutsleeping.
ImagesofRhysnaked,ontopofme,underme,behindme…theyallcrowdedmybrainuntilmythighsclenchedandmyclothesraspedagainstmyskin.Mytonguesuddenlyfelttoothick,theairtoothin.
Myfirstsexualfantasyabouthim,andhewasstandinglessthanfivefeetaway,staringrightatme.
Iwasaprincess,hewasmybodyguard.
Iwastwenty-two,hewasthirty-two.
Itwaswrong,butIcouldn’tstop.
Rhys’seyesdarkened.Mindreadingdidn’texist,butIhadtheeeriesensehecouldsomehowcrawlinsidemybrainandpickouteverydirty,forbiddenthoughtIhadabouthim.
Iopenedmymouth—tosaywhat,Iwasn’tsure,butIhadtosaysomethingtobreakthedangerouslychargedsilence.
BeforeIcouldutteraword,however,agunshotrippedthroughthenight,andchaosensued.8
Bridget/Rhys
BRIDGET
Onesecond,Iwasstanding.Thenext,Iwasontheground,mycheekpressedtothegrasswhileRhysshieldedmybodywithhis,andscreamsrangoutthroughthepark.
Itallhappenedsoquicklyittookmybrainseveralbeatstocatchupwithmypoundingpulse.
Dinner.Park.Gunshots.Screams.
Individualwordsthatmadesenseontheirown,butIcouldn’tstringthemtogetherintoacoherentthought.
Therewasanothergunshot,followedbymorescreams.
Aboveme,RhysletoutacursesolowandharshIfeltitmorethanIheardit.
“Onthecountofthree,we’rerunningforthetreecover.”Hissteadyvoiceeasedsomeofmynerves.“Gotit?”
Inodded.Mydinnerthreatenedtomakeareappearance,butIforcedmyselftofocus.Icouldn’tfreakout,notwhenwewereinfullviewoftheshooter.
Isawhimnow.ItwassodarkIcouldn’tmakeoutmanydetailsexceptforhishair—longishandcurlyontop—andhisclothes.Sweatshirt,jeans,sneakers.HelookedlikeanyofthedozensofguysinmyclassesatThayer,andthatmadehimallthemoreterrifying.
Hehadhisbacktous,lookingdownatsomething,someone—avictim—buthecouldturnaroundanysecond.
RhysshiftedsoIcouldpushmyselfontomyhandsandknees,keepinglowasIdidso.He’ddrawnhisgun,andthegrouchybutthoughtfulmanfromdinnerhaddisappeared,replacedbyastone-coldsoldier.
Focused.Determined.Lethal.
Forthefirsttime,Iglimpsedthemanhe’dbeeninthemilitary,andashiversnakeddownmyspine.Ipitiedanyonewhohadtofacehimonthebattlefield.
Rhyscounteddowninthesamecalmvoice.“One,two…three.”
Ididn’tthink.Iran.
Anothergunshotfiredbehindus,andIflinchedandstumbledoveralooserock.Rhysgrabbedmyarmswithfirmhands,hisbodystillshieldingmefrombehind,andguidedmetothethicketoftreesattheedgeofthepark.Wecouldn’treachtheexitwithoutpassingdirectlybytheshooter,wheretherewasnocoveratall,sowewouldhavetowaituntilthepolicearrived.
Theyhadtobeheresoon,right?Oneoftheotherpeopleintheparkmust’vecalledthembynow.
Rhyspushedmedownandbehindalargetree.
“WaithereanddonotmoveuntilIgivetheokay,”heordered.“Mostofall,don’tletanyoneseeyou.”
Myheartratespiked.“Whereareyougoing?”
“Someonehastostophim.”
Acoldsweatbrokeoutovermybody.Hecouldn’tpossiblybesayingwhatIthoughthewassaying.
“Itdoesn’thavetobeyou.Thepolice—”
“It’llbetoolatebythetimetheygethere.”RhyslookedgrimmerthanI’deverseenhim.“Don’t.Move.”
Andhewasgone.
IwatchedinhorrorasRhyscrossedthewide-openexpanseofgrasstowardtheshooter,whohadhisgunaimedatsomeoneontheground.Abenchblockedmyviewofwhothevictimwas,butwhenIcrouchedlower,Icouldseebeneaththebench,andmyhorrordoubled.
Itwasn’toneperson.Itwastwo.Amanand,judgingbythesizeofthepersonnexttohim,achild.
NowIknewwhyRhyshadthatexpressiononhisfacebeforeheleft.
Whowouldtargetachild?
Ipressedmyfisttomymouth,fightingtheurgetothrowup.Lessthananhourago,I’dbeenteasingRhysoverbreadandwineandthinkingofallthethingsIstillneededtopackbeforeweleftforNewYork.Now,Iwashidingbehindatreeinarandompark,watchingmybodyguardruntowardpossibledeath.
Rhyswasanexperiencedsoldierandguard,buthewasstillhuman,andhumansdied.Oneminute,theywerethere.Thenext,theyweregone,leavingbehindnothingmorethananempty,lifelessshellofthepersontheyusedtobe.
“Sweetheart,I’mafraidIhavebadnews.”Mygrandfather’seyeslookedbloodshot,andIclutchedmystuffedgiraffetomychest,fearspiralingthroughmybody.Mygrandfathernevercried.“It’syourfather.There’sbeenanaccident.”
Iblinkedawaythememoryintimetoseethemanonthegroundturnhisheadafractionofaninch.He’dspottedRhyssneakingupbehindtheshooter.
Unfortunately,thesmallmotionwasenoughtotipoffthegunman,whospunaroundandfiredathirdshotatthesametimeRhysdischargedhisgun.
Acryleftmymouth.
Rhys.Shot.Rhys.Shot.
Thewordscycledthroughmybrainliketheworld’smosthorrifyingmantra.
Theshootercrumpledtotheground.Rhysstaggered,butheremainedstanding.
Inthedistance,policesirenswailed.
Theentirescene,fromthefirstshottonow,hadplayedoutinlessthantenminutes,butterrorhadawayofstretchingtimeoutuntileachsecondcontainedaneternity.
Dinnerfeltlikeyearsago.Graduationmightaswellhavehappenedinanotherlifetime.
Instinctpropelledmetomyfeet,andIrantowardRhys,myheartinmythroat.Pleasebeokay.
WhenIreachedhim,he’ddisarmedthegunman,wholaybleedingandmoaningontheground.Afewfeetaway,themantheshooterhadbeentargetingalsolaybleeding,hisfacepalebeneaththemoonlight.Thechild,aboywholookedaboutsevenoreight,kneltbyhisside,hiseyeshugeandterrifiedashestaredatmeandRhys.
“Whatthehellareyoudoing?”Rhysbitoutwhenhesawme.
Iscannedhimfranticallyforinjuries,buthewasstandingandtalkingandgrumpyasever,sohecouldn’tbetoohurt.
Theboy,ontheotherhand,neededreassuring.
IignoredRhys’squestionfornowandcroucheduntilIwaseyelevelwiththeboy.
“It’sokay,”Isaidgently.Ididn’tmoveanycloser,notwantingtospookhimfurther.“Wewon’thurtyou.”
HeclutchedwhatIassumedwashisfather’sarmtighter.“Ismydadgoingtodie?”heaskedinasmallvoice.
Aclogofemotionformedinmythroat.Hewasaroundmyagewhenmydaddied,and—
Stop.Thisisn’taboutyou.Focusonthemoment.
“Thedoctorswillbeheresoon,andthey’llfixhimrightup.”Ihoped.Themanwasfadinginandoutofconsciousness,andbloodoozedaroundhim,stainingtheboy’ssneakers.
Technically,theEMTswerecoming,notdoctors,butIwasn’tabouttoexplainthedistinctiontoatraumatizedkid.“Doctors”soundedmorereassuring.
Rhyskneltnexttome.“She’sright.Thedoctorsknowwhatthey’redoing.”HespokeinasoothingvoiceI’dneverheardfromhimbefore,andsomethingsqueezedmychest.Hard.“We’llstaywithyouuntiltheygethere.Howdoesthatsound?”
Theboy’slowerlipwobbled,buthenodded.“Okay.”
Beforewecouldsayanythingelse,abrightlightshoneonus,andavoiceblaredthroughthepark.
“Police!Putyourhandsup!”
***
RHYS
Questions.Medicalcheckups.Morequestions,plusafewclapsonthebackforbeinga“hero.”
Thenexthourtestedmypatienceasnothinghadbefore…exceptforthedamnedwomaninfrontofme.
“Itoldyoutostayput.Itwasasimpleinstruction,princess,”Igrowled.Thesightofherrunningtowardmewhiletheshooterwasstilloutintheopenhadsentmorepaniccrashingthroughmethanhavingagunpointedatmyface.
Itdidn’tmatterthatI’ddisarmedtheshooter.WhatifhehadasecondgunI’dmissed?
Terrorrakeditsclawsdownmyspine
Icouldhandlegettingshot.Icouldn’thandleBridgetgettinghurt.
“Youwereshot,Mr.Larsen.”Shecrossedherarmsoverherchest.Isatinthebackofanopenambulancewhileshestoodbeforeme,stubbornasever.“You’dalreadyneutralizedthegunman,andIthoughtyouweregoingtodie.”
Hervoicewobbledattheend,andmyangerdissipated.
OtherthanmyNavybuddies,Icouldn’trememberthelasttimeanyonereallycaredaboutwhetherIlivedordied.ButBridgetdid,forsomeunknownreason,anditwasn’tjustbecauseIwasherbodyguard.Isawitinhereyesandhearditinthefaintwaverofherusuallycool,crispvoice.
AndI’dbedamnediftheknowledgedidn’thitmeharderthanabullettothechest.
“I’mfine.Bulletgrazedme,isall.Didn’tevengoundertheskin.”TheEMTshadbandagedmeup,andI’dbegoodasnewintwoorthreeweeks.
Theshooterhadbeensurprisedandfiredusinginstinct,notaim.AquickdodgeandI’descapedwhatwould’vebeenamuchnastierwoundtomyshoulder.
Thepolicehadhauledhimintomedicalcustody.Theywerestillinvestigatingwhathappened,butfromwhatI’dgathered,theshooterhaddeliberatelytargetedthekid’sfather.Somethingaboutabusinessdealgonewrongandbankruptcy.Theshooterhadbeenhighasakite,tothepointwherehehadn’tcaredaboutexactinghisrevengeinaparkfullofpeople.
Thankfully,he’dalsobeensohighhekeptramblingabouthowthekid’sfatherhaddonehimwronginsteadofshootingtokill.
Theambulanceshadtakenthekidandhisfatherawayawhileago.Thefatherhadsufferedheavybloodloss,buthe’dstabilizedandwouldpullthrough.Thekidwasokaytoo.Traumatized,butalive.I’dmadeitapointtocheckonhimbeforetheyleft.
ThankGod.
“Youwerebleeding.”Bridgetbrushedherfingersoverthebandagedwound,hertouchsearingstraightthroughthegauzeintomybones.
Istiffened,andshefroze.“Didthathurt?”
“No.”Notinthewayshe’dmeantanyway.
Butthewayshewaslookingatme,likeshewasafraidImightdisappearifsheblinked?Itmademyheartachelikeshe’drippedoffapieceofitandkeptitforherself.
“Betthiswasn’tthewayyoupicturedyourgraduationnightgoing.”Irubbedahandovermyjaw,mymouthtwistingintoagrimace.“Weshould’vegonestraighthomeafterdinner.”
I’dusedthelameexcuseofwalkingoffourfoodtojustifythetriptothepark,butintruth,I’dwantedtoextendthenightbecausewhenwewokeup,wewouldgobacktowhatwewere.Theprincessandherbodyguard,aclientandhercontractor.
Itwasallwecouldbe,butthathadn’tstoppedcrazythoughtsfrominfiltratingmymindduringdinner.ThoughtslikehowIcould’vestayedtherewithherallnight,eventhoughInormallyhatedansweringquestionsaboutmylife.ThoughtsaboutwhetherBridgettastedassweetasshelookedandhowmuchIwantedtostripawayhercooldemeanoruntilIreachedthefireunderneath.Baskinitswarmth,letitburnawaytherestoftheworlduntilweweretheonlyonesleft.
LikeIsaid,crazythoughts.I’dshovedthemasidethesecondtheypoppedup,buttheylingeredinthebackofmymindstill,likethelyricstoacatchysongthatwouldn’tgoaway.
Mygrimacedeepened.
Bridgetshookherhead.“No.Itwasagoodnightuntil…well,this.”Shewavedherhandaroundthepark.“Ifwe’dgonehome,thekidandhisdadmighthavedied.”
“Maybe,butIfuckedup.”Itdidn’thappenoften,butIcouldadmititwhenitdid.“Mynumberonepriorityasabodyguardistoprotectyou,notplaysavior.Ishould’vegottenyououtofhereandleftitatthat,but…”Amusclerolledinmyjaw.
Bridgetwaitedpatientlyformetofinish.EvenwithherhairmussedanddirtsmearingherdressfromwhenI’dpushedherontotheground,shecould’vepassedforanangelinthefucked-uphellofmylife.Blondehair,oceaneyes,andaglowthathadnothingtodowithherouterbeautyandeverythingtodowithherinnerone.
Shewastoobeautifultobetouchedbyanypartofmyuglypast,butsomethingcompelledmetocontinue.
“WhenIwasinhighschool,Iknewakid.”Thememoriesunfoldedlikeablood-stainedfilm,andafamiliarspearofguiltstabbedatmygut.“Notafriend,buttheclosestthingIhadtoone.Welivedafewblocksawayfromeachother,andwe’dhangoutathishouseontheweekend.”I’dneverinvitedTravistomyhouse.Ihadn’twantedhimtoseewhatitwaslikelivingthere.
“Oneday,Iwentoverandsawhimgettingmuggedatgunpointrightinhisfrontyard.Hismomwasatwork,anditwasaroughneighborhood,sothosethingshappened.ButTravisrefusedtohandoverhiswatch.It’dbeenagiftfromhisoldman,whodiedwhenhewasyoung.Themuggerdidn’ttakekindlytotherefusalandshothimrightthereinbroaddaylight.Noone,includingme,didadamnthingaboutit.Ourneighborhoodhadtworulesifyouwantedtosurvive:one,keepyourmouthshut,andtwo,mindyourownbusiness.”
Anacridtastefilledmymouth.IrememberedthesightandsoundofTravis’sbodyhittingtheground.Thebloodoozingfromhischest,thesurpriseinhiseyes…andthebetrayalwhenhesawmestandingthere,watchinghimdie.“Iwenthome,threwup,andpromisedmyselfIwouldneverbesuchacowardagain.”
What’syourbiggestregret?Inaction.
I’djoinedthemilitarytogainapurposeandfamilyI’dneverhad.IbecameabodyguardtoabsolvemyselfofsinsIcouldnevercleanse.
Livessavedinexchangeforlivestaken,directlyorindirectly.
What’syourbiggestfear?Failure.
“Itwasn’tyourfault,”Bridgetsaid.“Youwereakidtoo.Therewasnothingyoucould’vedoneagainstanarmedattacker.Ifyou’dtried,youmighthavediedtoo.”
Thereitwas.Anotherhitchontheworddied.
Bridgetlookedaway,butnotbeforeIcaughtthesuspicioussheeninhereyes.
Iclenchedandunclenchedmyfists.
Don’tdoit.ButI’dalreadyfuckedupmultipletimestonight.Whatwasonemore?
“Comehere,princess.”Iopenedonearm.Shesteppedintoitandburiedherfaceinmynon-injuredshoulder.Itwasthemostvulnerablewe’dbeeninfrontoftheothersincewemet,anditchippedawayatsomethinginsideme.
“It’sallright.”Ipattedherawkwardlyonthearm.Iwasshitatcomfortingpeople.“It’sover.Everyone’sfineexceptfortheshitheadwiththegun.ThoughIguesstonightwasabadnighttoleavethebulletproofvestathome.”
Herchokedlaughvibratedthroughmybody.“Isthatajoke,Mr.Larsen?”
“Anobservation.Idon’t—”
“Joke,”shefinished.“Iknow.”
Wesatinthebackoftheambulanceforawhilelonger,watchingthepolicesealoffthecrimescenewhileItriedtotampdownthefierceprotectivenesswellinginmychest.Iwasprotectiveofallmyclients,butthiswasdifferent.Morevisceral.
Partofmewantedtopushherfarawayfromme,andanotherpartwantedtodragherintomyarmsandkeepherasmine.
ExceptIcouldn’t.
Bridgetwastooyoung,tooinnocent,andtoooff-limits,andI’ddamnwellbetternotforgetthat.9
Bridget
Somethingchangedthenightofmygraduation.Perhapsitwasthesharedtrauma,orthefactRhyshadvoluntarilyopeneduptomeabouthispast,butthelongstandingantagonismbetweenustransformedintosomethingelse—somethingthatkeptmeawakelateatnightanddrovethebutterfliesinmystomachnuts.
Itwasn’tacrush,exactly.Morelikeattractionpairedwith…curiosity?Fascination?Whateveritwas,itputmeonedge,becauseonthelistoftheworstideasIcouldhave,sneakingoutandgettingkidnappedwasnumbertwo.Developingnon-platonicfeelingsformybodyguardwasnumberone.
Luckily,myscheduleinNewYorkkeptmesobusyIbarelyhadtimetobreathe,muchlessindulgeininappropriatefantasies.
RhysandImovedtoManhattanthreedaysaftergraduation,andthefollowingsummerwasawhirlwindofcharityboardmeetings,socialfunctions,andhousehunting.
BythetimeAugustrolledaround,I’dsignedtheleaseonabeautifulGreenwichVillagetownhouse,worndowntwopairsofheelsfromtrekkingthroughthecity,andmeteveryoneonthesocialcircuit,someofwhomIwishedIhadn’tmet.
“It’sslipping.”Rhysscannedthesurroundingcrowd.
WewereattheopeningforanewUpperEastSideexhibitcelebratingEldorranartists,whichnormallywouldn’tbeabigdeal,buttheguestlistincludedactionmoviestarNateReynoldsandthepaparazziwereoutinfullforce.
“What?”IsaidthroughmysmileasIposedforthecameras.Theappearancesgottiresomeafterawhile.Therewasonlysomuchsmiling,waving,andsmalltalkagirlcouldstandbeforeshekeeledoverfromboredom,buttheywerepartofmyjob,soIgrinnedandboreit.Literally.
“Yoursmile.It’sslipping.”
Hewasright.Ihadn’tevennoticed
Ire-uppedthewattageofmysmileandtriednottoyawn.God,Ican’twaittillI’mhome.Istillhadaluncheon,twointerviews,aboardmeetingfortheNewYorkAnimalRescueFoundation,andacoupleoferrandstorun,butafterthat…PJsandsweetsleep.
Ididn’thatemyjob,butIwishedIcoulddosomethingmoremeaningfulthanbeawalking,talkingmannequin.
Andsoitwent.Dayafterday,monthaftermonthofthesamething.Fallturnedintowinter,thenintospringandsummer,thenfallagain.
Rhysstoodnexttomethroughitall,sternandgrumpyasalways,buthe’ddialeddowntheoverbearingattitude.Forhim,anyway.Comparedtoanormalperson,hewasstilloverprotectivetothepointofneuroticism.
Ilovedandhatedtheshiftinequalmeasure.LoveditbecauseIhadmorefreedom,hateditbecauseIcouldnolongerusemyirritationasashieldagainstwhateverwascracklingbetweenus.
Andtherewasathing.Ijustwasn’tsurewhetherIwastheonlyonewhosawit,orifhedidtoo.
Ididn’task.Itwassaferthatway
“Doyoueverthinkaboutdoinganythingexceptbodyguarding?”Iaskedonararenightin.Foronce,IhadnoplansotherthanadatewiththeTVandicecream,andIlovedit.
ItwasSeptember,almosttwoyearssinceRhysandIfirstmetandoverayearsinceImovedtoNewYork.I’dgonefulloutwiththeseasonaldecorations,includingafallwreathoverthefireplace,earth-tonedcushionsandblankets,andaminipumpkincenterpieceforthecoffeetable.
RhysandIwerewatchingascrewballcomedythat’dpoppedupinmyNetflixrecommendations.Hesatramrodstraight,fullydressedinhisworkoutfitwhileIwascurledupwithmyfeetonthesofaandapintoficecreaminmyhand
“Bodyguarding?”
“It’saword,”Isaid.“Ifit’snot,I’mdeclaringitonebyroyaldecree.”
Hesmirked.“Youwould.Andtoansweryourquestion,no,Idon’t.ThedayIdoisthedayIstop‘bodyguarding.’”
Irolledmyeyes.“Itmustbenicetoseeeverythinginblackandwhite.”
Rhys’sgazelingeredonmeforasecondbeforehelookedaway.“Trustme,”hesaid.“Noteverythingisblackandwhite.”
Inexplicably,myheartskippedabeat,butIforcedmyselfnottodemandhetellmewhathemeant.Itprobablymeantnothing.Itwasathrowawayline.
Instead,Irefocusedonthemovieandconcentratedonnotlookingatthemansittingnexttome.
Itworked.Sortof.
Ilaughedatsomethingacharactersaid,andInoticedRhyslookingatmeoutofthecornerofmyeye.
“It’snice,”hesaid.
“What?”
“Yourrealsmile.”
Forgetaskippedbeat.Myheartskippedawholesong.
Thistime,however,Icovereditupbypointingmyspoonathim.“Thatwasacompliment.”
“Ifyousayso.”
“Don’ttrytoplayitoff.”IwasproudofhownormalIsoundedwhenmyinsidesweredoingthingsthatwereanythingbutnormal.Fluttering,skipping,twisting.Mydoctorwouldhaveafieldday.“We’vepassedamilestone.RhysLarsen’sfirstcomplimenttoBridgetvonAscheberg,anditonlytooktwoyears.Markitdown.”
Rhyssnorted,buthumorfilledhiseyes.“Oneyearandtenmonths,”hesaid.“Ifwe’recounting.”
Whichhewas.
Ifmyheartskippedanymoresongs,it’dhavenoplaylistleft.
Notgood.Notgoodatall.
WhateverIfelttowardRhys,itcouldn’tdeveloppastwhatitwasnow.So,inanefforttoridmyselfofmyincreasinglydisturbingreactionstomybodyguard,IagreedtogoonadatewithLouis,thesonoftheFrenchambassadortotheUnitedNations,whenIranintohimataneventamonthaftermymovienightwithRhys.
Louisshowedupforourdateatseveno’clocksharpwithabouquetofredflowersandacharmingsmile,whichwiltedwhenhesawthescowlingbodyguardstandingsoclosebehindmeIcouldfeeltheheatfromhisbody.
“Theseareforyou.”LouishandedmetheflowerswhilekeepingawaryeyeonRhys.“Youlookbeautiful.”
Alowgrowlrumbledbehindme,andLouisnoticeablygulped.
“Thankyou,they’relovely,”Isaidwithagracioussmile.“LetmeputtheminwaterandI’llberightback.”
MysmiledroppedwhenIturnedmybacktoLouisandfacedRhys.“Mr.Larsen,pleasefollowme.”Onceweenteredthekitchen,Ihissed,“Stopthreateningmydateswithyourgun.”
Ihadn’tneededtoseehimtoknowhe’dprobablypushedhisjacketasidejustenoughtoflashhisweapon.
Louiswasn’tthefirstguyI’ddatedinNewYork,thoughthelasttimeI’dgoneonadatehadbeenmonthsago.Rhyskeptscaringoffmyromanticprospects,andhalfthemeninthecitywereafraidtoaskmeoutforfearhewouldshootthem.
Ithadn’tbotheredmeuntilnowbecauseIhadn’tcaredformypreviousdates,butitwasannoyingwhenIwasactivelytryingtomoveonfromwhateverweirdholdRhyshadonme.
Rhys’sglareintensified.“He’swearingshoelifts.Hedeservestobethreatened.”
Ipressedmylipstogether,butaquickglanceatLouis’feetthroughthekitchendoorwayconfirmedRhys’sobservation.Ithoughtheseemedtaller.Ihadnothingagainstshoeliftsperse,butthreeinchesseemedexcessive.
Unfortunately,whileIcouldoverlooktheshoelifts,Icouldn’toverlooktheutterlackofchemistrybetweenus.
LouisandIdinedatalovelyFrenchrestaurant,whereIstrugglednottofallasleepwhileherambledonabouthissummersinSt.Tropez.Rhyssatatthenexttablewithaglowersodarkthedinersonhisothersiderequestedtomovetables.
Bythetimedinnerended,Louiswassoflusteredbythemenacingpresencelessthanthreefeetawayheknockedoverhiswineglassandnearlycausedaservertodrophistrayoffood.
“It’sallright,”Isaid,helpingamortifiedLouiscleanupthemesswhiletheserverfussedoverthestainedlinentablecloth.“Itwasanaccident.”
IglaredatRhys,whostaredbackatmewithoutahintofremorse.
“Ofcourse.”Louissmiled,butthemortificationinhiseyesremained.
Whenwefinishedcleaningup,heleftageneroustipfortheserverandbidmeapolitegoodnight.Hedidn’taskmeonaseconddate.
Iwasn’tsadaboutit.Iwas,however,pissedatacertaingray-eyedpaininmybutt.
“YouscaredLouishalftodeath,”IsaidwhenRhysandIreturnedhome.Icouldn’tcontroltheangerfromseepingintomyvoice.“Nexttime,trynottounnervemydatesomuchhespillshisdrinkalloverhimself.”
“Ifhescaresthateasily,he’snotworthyofbeingyourdate.”Rhyshaddresseduptoadheretotherestaurant’sdresscode,butthetieanddinnerjacketcouldn’tmasktheraw,untamedmasculinityrollingoffhiminpotentwaves.
“Youwerearmedandglaringathimlikehekilledyourdog.It’shardnottobenervousunderthoseconditions.”Itossedmykeysonthesidetableandslippedoffmyheels.
“Idon’thaveadog.”
“Itwasametaphor.”Iunpinnedmyhairandranmyhandthroughthewaves.“KeepitupandI’llenduplikeoneofthosespinstersfromhistoricalromancenovels.You’vescaredoffeverydateI’vehadinthepastyear.”
Onethingthathadn’tchangedafterallthistime?MyrefusaltocallhimanythingexceptMr.Larsen,andhisrefusaltocallmeanythingexceptprincess.
Rhys’sscowldeepened.“I’llstopscaringthemoffonceyougetbettertasteinmen.Nowonderyourlovelifeisinthedumps.Lookatthetwerpsyouinsistongoingoutwith.”
Ibristled.Mylovelifewasnotinthedumps.Itwasclose,butitwasn’tthereyet.“You’reonetotalk.”
Hecrossedhisarmsoverhischest.“Meaning?”
“MeaningIhaven’tseenyoudateanyonesinceyoustartedworkingforme.”Ishruggedoffmyjacket,andhisgazeslidtomybaredshouldersforafractionofasecondbeforereturningtomyface.“You’rehardlyqualifiedtogivemedatingadvice.”
“Idon’tdate.Doesn’tmeanIcan’tspotworthlessidiotswhenIsee‘em.”
Ipaused,startledbyhisadmission.WhileRhyswasalwaysbymysideduringtheday,hewasoffdutyafterIturnedinforthenight.Sometimeshestayedin,sometimeshedidn’t.I’dalwaysassumedhewas…busyonthenightshedidn’t.
Astrangemixtureofreliefanddisbeliefcoursedthroughme.Disbelief,becausewhileRhyswasn’tthemostcharmingguyontheplanet,hewasgorgeousenoughformostwomentooverlookhissurlyattitude.Relief,because…well,I’drathernotexaminethatreasontooclosely.
“You’vebeencelibatefortwoyears?”ThequestionslippedoutbeforeIcouldthinkitthrough,andIregretteditinstantly.
Rhysarchedaneyebrow,hisscowlmorphingintoasmirk.“Youaskingaboutmysexlife,princess?”
Embarrassmentscorchedmycheeks,bothatmyinappropriatequestionandathearingtheword“sex”leavehismouth.“Ididnosuchthing.”
“Imaynothaveattendedafancycollegelikeyou,butIcanreadsubtext.”Amusementflashedinthosegunmetaleyes.“Fortherecord,datingandsexaren’tthesamething.”
Right.Ofcourse.
Somethingunpleasantreplacedmyearlierrelief.Theideaofhim“notdating”someoneirkedmemorethanitshould’ve.
“Iknowthat,”Isaid.“Idon’tdateeveryoneIhavesexwith,either.”
WhatamIsaying?Ihadn’thadsexinsolongIwassurprisedmyvaginahadn’tsuedmeforneglect,butIwantedto…what,proveRhyswasn’ttheonlyonewhocouldhavecasualsex?Getariseoutofhim?
Ifso,itworked,becausehissmirkdisappearedandhisdrawlhardened.“Andwhenwasthelasttimeyouhadnon-datingsex?”
Iliftedmychin,refusingtobackdownbeneaththeweightofhissteelystare.“Thatisahighlyinappropriatequestion.”
“Youaskedfirst,”hegroundout.“Answerthequestion,princess.”
Breathe.IheardthepalacecommunicationssecretaryElin’svoiceinmyhead,coachingmeonhowtohandlethepress.Youcan’tcontrolwhattheysay,butyoucancontrolwhatyousay.Don’tletthemseeyousweat.Deflectifnecessary,takebackthepower,andguidetheconversationwhereyouwantittogo.Youaretheprincess.Youdonotcowerinfrontofanyone.Elinwasscary,butshewasgood,andItookheradvicetoheartasIstrugglednottorisetoRhys’sbait.
One…two…three…
Iexhaledandsquaredmyshoulders,lookingdownmynoseathimeventhoughhetoweredovermebyagoodseveninches.
“Iwillnot.Thisiswhereweendtheconversation,”Isaid,myvoicecold.Beforeitgoesanymoreofftherails.“Goodnight,Mr.Larsen.”
Hiseyescalledmeacoward.Minetoldhimtomindhisbusiness.
Theairpulsedwithheavysilenceduringourstaredown.Itwaslate,andIwastired,butI’dbedamnedifIbackeddownfirst.
JudgingbyRhys’sbullishstance,hehadthesamethought.
Wemight’vestoodthereforever,glaringateachother,haditnotbeenforthesharptrillofanincomingcall.Eventhen,IwaitedformyphonetoringthreetimesbeforeItoremyeyesawayfromRhysandcheckedthecallerID.
Myannoyancequicklygavewaytoconfusion,thenworry,whenIsawwhowascalling.Nikolai.MybrotherandIrarelyspokeonthephone,anditwasfivea.m.inEldorra.Hewasamorningperson,buthewasn’tthatmuchofamorningperson.
Ipickedup,awareofRhys’sgazeburningintome.
“Nik,iseverythingallright?”
Nikolaiwouldn’tcalloutoftheblueatthishourunlessitwasanemergency.
“I’mafraidnot.”Exhaustionweigheddownhiswords.“It’sGrandfather.”
Panicexplodedinmystomach,andIhadtoholdontothesidetableforsupportasNikolaiexplainedthesituation.No.NotGrandfather.HewastheonlylivingparentalfigureIhadleft,andifIlosthim…
Rhysmovedtowardme,hisfacenowdarkwithconcern,buthehaltedwhenIshookmyhead.ThemoreNikolaispoke,themoreIwantedtothrowup.
Fifteenminuteslater,Iendedthecall,numbwithshock.
“Whathappened?”Rhysremainedafewfeetaway,buttherewasacertaintensenesstohisposture,likehewasreadytomurderwhoeverhadbeenontheotherendofthelineforcausingmedistress.
Allthoughtsofourstupidargumentfled,andthesuddenurgetothrowmyselfintohisarmsandlethisstrengthcarrymeawaygrippedme.
Butofcourse,Icouldn’tdothat.
“I—it’smygrandfather.”Iswallowedthetearsthreateningtospilldownmycheeks.Cryingwouldbeahorriblebreachofetiquette.Royalsdidn’tcryinfrontofotherpeople.Butatthatmoment,Iwasn’taprincess.Iwasjustagranddaughterscaredtodeathaboutlosingthemanwho’draisedher.“Hecollapsedandwasrushedtothehospital,andI…”IraisedmyeyestoRhys’s,mychestsotightIcouldn’tbreathe.“Idon’tknowifhe’sgoingtomakeit.”10Rhys
BridgetwantedtoleaveforEldorrarightaway,butIforcedhertogetsomesleepfirst.We’dhadalongday,andwhileIoperatedfineonminimalshuteye,Bridgetgot…cranky.
Sheinsistedshedidn’t,butshedid.Iwouldknow.Iwasoftentheoneonthereceivingendofhercrankiness.Besides,therewasn’tmuchwecoulddoaboutthesituationatelevenatnight.
Whileshesleptortriedtosleep,Ipackedthenecessities,bookedaplaneusingherusualchartercompany’stwenty-four-hourVIPhotline,andcrashedforafewhoursbeforeIwokeupintimetofetchuscoffeeandbreakfastfromtheclosestbodega.
WeleftthehousejustasthesunpeekedoverthehorizonandrodetoTeterboroAirportinsilence.Bythetimeweboardedthecharterjet,Bridgetwaspracticallyvibratingwithrestlessenergy.
“Thankyouforarrangingeverything.”Shefiddledwithhernecklaceandshookherheadwhentheflightattendantofferedheraglassofjuice.“Youdidn’thaveto.”
“It’snotabigdeal.Itwasjustacall.”Nothingmadememoreuncomfortablethanovertgratitude.Inanidealworld,peoplewouldacceptanicegestureandnevermentionitagain.Madethingslessawkwardallaround.
“Itwasn’tjustacall.Itwaspackingandbreakfastand…beinghere,Iguess.”
“It’smyjobtobehere,princess.”
Hurtflashedacrossherface,andIimmediatelyfeltliketheworld’sbiggestjackass.Waytokicksomeonewhenthey’redown,Larsen.
IfIwereanyonebutmeandshewereanyonebuther,Iwouldtrytoapologize,butasitstood,I’dprobablymakethingsworse.Prettywordsweren’tmystrongsuit,especiallynotwithBridget.EverythingcameoutthewrongwaywhenItalkedtoher.
Iswitchedsubjects.“Youlooklikeyoucouldusemoresleep.”
Shewinced.“Thatbad,huh?”
Andthat’swhyIneedtokeepmymouthshut.Irubbedahandovermyface,embarrassedandirritatedwithmyself.“That’snotwhatImeant.”
“It’sokay.IknowIlookhorrible,”Bridgetsaid.“Elin,ourcommunicationssecretary,wouldpitchafitifshesawmelikethis.”
Isnorted.“Princess,youcouldn’tlookhorribleifyoutried.”
Eventhoughshelookedmoretiredthanusual,withpurplesmudgesbeneathhereyesandherskinlackingitsusualglow,shestillblewotherwomenoutofthewater.
Bridget’seyebrowsshotup.“Wasthatanothercompliment,Mr.Larsen?Twointwoyears.Careful,orI’llthinkyoulikeme.”
“Takeithoweveryouwant,”Idrawled.“ButI’lllikeyouthedayyoulikeme.”
Bridgetcrackedagenuinesmile,andIalmostsmiledback.Despitemywords,wegotalongfinethesedays,asidefromtheoccasionalargument.Ourinitialtransitionhadbeenrough,butwe’dlearnedtoadaptandcompromise…exceptwhenitcametoherdates.
Notasingleoneofthosefuckershadbeenworthhertime,andtheywereluckyIhadn’tgougedtheireyesoutforthewaythey’dogledher.
IfIhadn’tbeenwithheronthedates,theywould’vetriedsomethingforsure,andthethoughtmademybloodboil.
InoticedBridget’seyesstraytothein-flightphoneeveryfewminutesuntilIfinallysaid,“It’sbestifitdoesn’tring.”
PrinceNikolaihadpromisedtocallherwithanyupdates.There’dbeennonesofar,butinthissituation,noupdatewasagoodupdate.
Shesighed.“Iknow.It’sjustdrivingmecrazy,notknowingwhat’sgoingon.Ishould’vebeenthere.Ishould’vemovedbackaftergraduationinsteadofinsistingonstayingintheU.S.”Guiltwashedoverherface.“WhatifIneverseehimagain?Whatifhe…”
“Don’tthinkthatway.We’llbetheresoon.”
Itwasaseven-hourflighttoAthenberg.Alotcouldhappeninsevenhours,butIkeptthatparttomyself.
“Heraisedus,youknow.”Bridgetstaredoutthewindowwithafar-offexpression.“Aftermyfatherdied,mygrandfathersteppedinandtriedhisbesttofilltheparentalroleforNikandme.Eventhoughhe’sthekingandhasatononhisplate,hemadetimeforuswheneverhecould.Heatebreakfastwithuseverymorninghewasn’tawaytraveling,andheattendedallourschoolactivities,eventhestupidlittleonesthatdidn’treallymatter.”Asmallsmiletouchedherlips.“Once,herescheduledameetingwiththeJapaneseprimeministersohecouldwatchmeplaySunflowerNumberThreeinmyfifth-gradeschoolplay.Iwasaterribleactress,andevenmyroyalstatuswasn’tenoughtolandmeaspeakingrole.”
MylipsquirkedatthementalimageoflittleBridgetdressedupasasunflower.“Startinganinternationalincidentatageten.WhyamInotsurprised?”
Sheshotmeamockaffrontedlook.“Fortherecord,Iwaseleven,andtheprimeministerwasquiteunderstanding.He’sagrandfatherhimself.”Hersmilefaded.“Idon’tknowwhatI’ddoifsomethinghappenedtohim,”shewhispered.
Wewerenolongertalkingabouttheprimeminister.
“Thingsalwaysworkthemselvesout.”Notquitetrue,butIcouldn’tthinkofanythingelsetosay.
Ireallywascrapatthiswholecomfortingthing.ThatwaswhyIwasabodyguard,notanurse.
“You’reright.Ofcourse.”Bridgettookadeepbreath.“I’msorry.Idon’tknowwhat’scomeoverme.Idon’tusuallygoonlikethis.”Shetwistedherringaroundherfinger.“Enoughaboutme.TellmesomethingaboutyouIdon’tknow.”
Translation?Distractmefromthefactmygrandfathermayormaynotbedying.
“Likewhat?”
“Like…”Shethoughtaboutit.“Yourfavoritepizzatopping.”
Itwasaquestionshehadn’taskedduringourimpromptuQ&Asessionduringhergraduationdinner.
“Don’teatpizza.”Agrinslippedthroughattheshockonherface.“Kidding.Workonthegullibility,princess.”
“Intwoyears,I’veneverseenyoueatone.It’spossible,”shesaiddefensively.
Mygrinwidenedafractionofaninch.“It’snotmyfavoritefood,butI’mapepperoniguy.Simpleisbest.”
“Icanseethat.”BridgetflickedhereyesovermyplainblackT-shirt,pants,andboots.Someclientspreferredtheirbodyguardstodressup—suit,tie,earpiece,thewholeshebang—butBridgetwantedmetoblendin,hencethecasualgetup.
Herperusalwasn’tsexual,butthatdidn’tstopmygroinfromtighteningashergazeslidfrommyshoulderstomystomachandthighs.ThenumberofspontaneousbonersI’dpoppedaroundherwasembarrassingconsideringIwasagrown-assman,notahormone-riddledschoolboy.
ButBridgetwasthekindofstunningthatcamealongonceinalifetime,andherpersonalitymadethingsworse,becausesheactuallyhadone.Agoodone,atthat,atleastwhenshewasn’tdrivingmenutswithherhard-headedness.
ItookthisjobthinkingshewouldbespoiledandstuckupliketheotherprincessesI’dguarded,butsheturnedouttobesmart,kind,anddowntoearth,withjustenoughfireshiningthroughhercoolfacadetomakemewanttostripeverylayeroffheruntilshewasbaredtomeandmealone.
Bridget’sgazelingeredontheregionbelowmybelt.Mycockswelledfurther,andIgrippedmyarmrestswithwhite-knuckledhands.Thiswassomessedup.Shewasworriedabouthergrandfatherdying,andIwasfantasizingaboutfuckinghertenwaystoSundayinthemiddleofthegoddamncabin.
Ihaveseriousissues.Theleastofwhichwasacaseofblueballs.
“Isuggestyoustoplookin’atmelikethat,princess,”Isaid,myvoicelethallysoft.“Unlessyouplanondoingsomethingaboutit.”
ItwasperhapsthemostinappropriatethingI’deversaidtoher,andwayoutoftheboundsofprofessionalism,butIwasteeteringontheedgeofsanity.
DespitewhatI’dimpliedyesterday,Ihadn’ttouchedawomansinceItookthisjob,andIwasslowlygoingcrazybecauseofit.Itwasn’tlikeIdidn’twantto.Iwenttobars,Iflirted,andIgotplentyofoffers,butIfeltnothingeverytime.Nosparks,nolust,nodesire.Iwould’veworriedaboutmyboydowntherehaditnotbeenformyvisceralreactionstoBridget.
Theonlypersonwhomademycockhardthesedayswasmyclient.
Ihavetheworstfuckingluckontheplanet.
Bridgetjerkedherheadup,hereyeswide.“I’mnot…Iwasn’t—”
“Askmeanotherquestion.”
“What?”
“Yousaidyouwantedtoknowmoreaboutme.Askmeanotherquestion,”Isaidthroughgrittedteeth.AnythingtogetmymindoffhowmuchIwanttohikeupthatskirtofyoursandfindoutjusthowwetyouareforme.
Becauseshewas.Mylong,recentdryspellaside,Ihadenoughexperiencewiththeoppositesextospotthesignsoffemalearousalfromamileaway.
Dilatedpupils,flushedcheeks,shallowbreathing.
Check,check,andfuckingcheck.
“Oh,um.”Bridgetclearedherthroat,lookingmoreflusteredthanI’deverseenher.“Tellme…tellmeaboutyourfamily.”
Talkaboutsplashingabucketofcoldwaterovermylibido.
Istiffened,mydesiredrainingawayasItriedtofigureouthowtorespond.
OfcourseshewantstoknowabouttheonethingIhatediscussing.
“Notmuchtotell,”Ifinallysaid.“Nosiblings.MotherdiedwhenIwasakid.Neverknewmyfather.Grandparentsalsogone.”
MaybeIshould’veleftthelastpartout,consideringhergrandfather’ssituation,butBridgetdidn’tappearputoff.Instead,hereyesflickeredwithsympathy.“Whathappened?”
Noneedtoclarifywhoshewasaskingabout.Motherdearest.“Drugoverdose,”Isaidcurtly.“Cocaine.Iwaseleven,andIfoundherwhenIcamehomefromschool.ShewassittinginfrontoftheTV,andherfavoritetalkshowwason.Therewasahalf-eatenplateofpastaonthecoffeetable.Ithoughtshefellasleep—shedidthatsometimeswhenshewaswatchingTV—butwhenIwalkedover…”Iswallowedhard.“Hereyeswerewideopen.Unseeing.AndIknewshewasgone.”
Bridgetsuckedinabreath.Mystoryneverfailedtoelicitpityfromthosewhoheardit,whichwaswhyIhatedtellingit.Ididn’twantanyone’spity
“Youknowwhatthefunnythingwas?Ipickeduptheplateofpastaandwasheditlikeshe’dwakeupandyellatmeifIdidn’t.ThenIdidtherestofthedishesinthesink.TurnedofftheTV.Wipeddownthecoffeetable.OnlyafterallthatdidIcall911.”IletoutahumorlesslaughwhileBridgetstaredatmewithanunbearablysoftexpression.“Shewasalreadydead,butinmymind,shewouldn’treallybedeadtilltheambulanceshowedupandmadeitofficial.Kidlogic.”
ThosewerethemostwordsI’dspokenaboutmymotherinovertwodecades.
“I’msosorry,”Bridgetsaidquietly.“Losingaparentisnevereasy.”
Shewouldknowbetterthananyone.She’dlostbothherparents,oneofwhomshe’dnevermet.Justlikeme,excepttherewasapossibilitytheoneIhadn’tmetwasstillalivewhilehershaddiedinchildbirth.
“Don’tfeeltoosorryforme,princess.”Irolledmywaterglassbetweenmyfingers,wishingitcontainedsomethingstronger.Ididn’tdrinkalcohol,butsometimesIwishedIdid.“Mymotherwasabitch.”
Bridget’seyeswidenedwithshock.Notmanypeopletalkedabouttheirmother’sdeath,thenturnedaroundandcalledsaidmotherabitchinthesamebreath.
Ifanyonedeservedthetitle,though,DeirdreLarsendid.
“Butshewasstillmymother,”Icontinued.“TheonlyrelativeIhadleft.Ihadnocluewhomyfatherwas,andevenifIdid,itwasclearhewantednothingtodowithme.Soyeah,Iwassadaboutherdeath,butIwasn’tdevastated.”
Hell,I’dbeenrelieved.Itwassickandtwisted,butlivingwithmymotherhadbeenanightmare.I’dconsideredrunningawaymultipletimesbeforeheroverdose,butamisguidedsenseofloyaltyheldmebackeachtime.
Deidremayhavebeenanabusive,alcoholicjunkie,butIwasallshe’dhadintheworld,andshewasallI’dhad.Thatcountedforsomething,Isupposed.
Bridgetleanedforwardandsqueezedmyhand.Itensedasanunexpectedjoltofelectricityrocketedupmyarm,butIkeptmyfacestoic.
“Yourfatherhasnoideawhathe’smissingouton.”Hervoicerangwithsincerity,andmychesttightened.
Istareddownatthecontrastofhersoft,warmhandagainstmyrough,callousedone.
Cleanversusbloodstained.Innocenceversusdarkness.
Twoworldsthatwerenevermeanttotouch.
Iyankedmyhandawayandstoodabruptly.“Ineedtogooversomepaperwork,”Isaid.
Itwasalie.I’dfinishedallthepaperworkforalast-minutetriptoEldorralastnight,andIfeltbadaboutleavingBridgetalonerightnow,butIneededtogetawayfromherandregroup.
“Okay.”Sheappearedstartledbythesuddenchangeinmood,butshedidn’tgetachancetosayanythingelsebeforeIwalkedawayandsankintotheseatbehindhersoIdidn’thavetofaceher.
Myheadwasallovertheplace,mycockwashardagain,andmyprofessionalismhadtakenatwenty-storyjumpoutthewindow.
Iscrubbedahandovermyface,silentlycursingmyself,Christian,heroldbodyguardforhavingafuckingbabyandleavinghispost,andeverythingandeveryonewho’dcontributedtothemessIwasin.Namely,lustingoversomeoneIshouldn’twantandcouldneverhave
ItookthisjobthinkingIhadoneobjective,butnowitwasclearIhadtwo.
ThefirstwastoprotectBridget.
Thesecondwastoresisther.11Bridget
RhysandIdidn’ttalkagainontheplane,buthe’dtakenmymindoffmygrandfather’ssituationenoughIcrashedafterheleft.Ihadn’tsleptawinkthenightbefore,andIwasoutlikealightformostoftheflight.
Whenwelanded,though,allmynervescamerushingback,anditwasallIcoulddonottosnapatthedrivertogofasteraswespedthroughdowntowntowardthehospital.EverysecondwespentataredlightfeltlikeasecondIwaslosingwithmygrandfather.
WhatifImissedseeinghimalivebyaminute,ortwo,orthree?
Awaveoflightheadednesshitme,andIhadtoclosemyeyesandforcemyselftotakedeepbreathssoIdidn’tdrownbeneathmyanxiety.
Whenwefinallyarrivedatthehospital,wefoundMarkus,mygrandfather’sPrivateSecretaryandright-handman,waitingforusbythesecretentrancetheyusedforhigh-profilepatients.I’dspottedthecrushofreportersoutsidethemainentrancefromthecar,andthesightmademyanxietytriple.
“HisMajestyisfine,”Markussaidwhenhesawme.Helookedmoredisheveledthanusual,whichinMarkus’sworldmeantoneofhishairswasoutofplaceandtherewasasmall,barelynoticeablecreaseinhisshirt.“HewokeupjustbeforeIcamedown.”
“Oh,thankGod.”Ibreathedasighofrelief.Ifmygrandfatherwasawake,thingscouldn’tbetoobad.Right?
Wetooktheelevatortomygrandfather’sprivatesuite,whereIfoundNikolaipacingthehalloutsidewithafrown.
“Hekickedmeout,”hesaidbywayofexplanation.“HesaidIwashoveringtoomuch.”
Icrackedasmile.“Typical.”IftherewasonethingEdvardvonAschebergIIIhated,itwasbeingfussedover.
“Yeah.”Nikolailetoutahalf-resigned,half-relievedlaughbeforehesweptmeintoahug.“It’sgoodtoseeyou,Bridge.”
Wedidn’tseeortalktoeachotheroften.Weliveddifferentlives—NikolaiascrownprinceinEldorra,measaprincesstryingherbesttopretendshewasn’toneintheU.S.—butnothingbondedtwopeoplelikeasharedtragedy.
Thenagain,ifthatweretrue,weshouldbethickasthievessinceourparents’deaths.Butthingshadn’tquiteworkedoutthatway.
“It’sgoodtoseeyoutoo.”Isqueezedhimtightbeforegreetinghisgirlfriend.“Hi,Sabrina.”
“Hi.”Shegavemeaquickhug,herfacewarmwithsympathy.
SabrinawasanAmericanflightattendantNikolaimetduringaflighttotheU.S.They’dbeendatingfortwoyears,andtheirrelationshiphadgeneratedamediafirestormwhenitfirstcametolight.Aprincedatingacommoner?Tabloidheaven.Coveragehaddieddownsincethen,partlybecauseNikolaiandSabrinakepttheirrelationshipundersuchtightwraps,buttheirpairingwasstillverymuchgossipedaboutinAthenbergsociety.
PerhapsthatwaswhyIfeltsuchpressuretodatesomeone“appropriate.”Ididn’twanttodisappointmygrandfather,too.He’dwarmeduptoSabrina,buthe’dhadaconniptionwhenhefirstfoundoutabouther.
“He’swaitingforyouinside.”Nikolaiflashedalopsidedgrin.“Justdon’thoverorhe’llkickyououttoo.”
Imanagedalaugh.“I’llkeepthatinmind.”
“I’llwaithere,”Rhyssaid.Heusuallyinsistedonfollowingmeeverywhere,butheseemedtoknowIneededalonetimewithmygrandfather.
IgavehimagratefulsmilebeforeIsteppedintothehospitalroom.
Edvardwas,aspromised,awakeandsittingupinbed,butthesightofhiminahospitalgownandhookeduptomachinesbroughtbackanonslaughtofmemories.
“Daddy,wakeup!Pleasewakeup!”Isobbed,tryingtobreakoutofElin’sgraspandruntohisaside.“Daddy!”
ButnomatterhowloudIscreamedorhowhardIcried,heremainedpaleandunmoving.Themachinenexttohisbedletoutaflat,steadywhine,andeveryoneintheroomwasyellingandrunningaroundexceptformygrandfather,whosatwithhisheadloweredandshouldersshaking.They’dforcedNikolaitoleavetheroomearlier,andnowtheyweretryingtogetmetoleavetoo,butIwouldn’t.
NotuntilDaddywokeup.
“Daddy,please.”I’dscreamedmyselfhoarse,andmylastpleacameoutasawhisper.
Ididn’tunderstand.He’dbeenokayafewhoursago.Hewentouttobuypopcornandcandybecausethepalacekitchenranoutandhesaiditwassillytoasksomeonetofetchsomethinghecouldeasilygethimself.Hesaidwhenhegotback,wewouldeatthepopcornandwatchFrozentogether.
Buthenevercameback.
Ioverheardthedoctorsandnursestalkingearlier.Somethingabouthiscarandsuddenimpact.Ididn’tknowwhatitallmeant,butIknewitwasn’tgood.
AndIknewDaddywasnever,evercomingback.
Ifelttheburnoftearsbehindmyeyesandafamiliartighteninginmychest,butIpastedonasmileandtriednottoletmyworryshow.
“Grandpa.”IrushedtoEdvard’sside.I’dcalledhimGrandpawhenIwasakidandnevergrewoutofit,butnow,Icouldonlysayitwhenwewerealonebecausetheaddresswastoo“informal”foraking.
“Bridget.”Helookedpaleandtired,buthemusteredaweaksmile.“Youdidn’thavetoflyallthewaybackhere.I’mfine.”
“I’llbelieveitwhenthedoctortellsmeso.”Isqueezedhishand,thegestureasmuchreassuranceformyselfasitwasforhim.
“I’mtheking,”heharrumphed.“WhatIsay,goes.”
“Notformedicalmatters.”
Edvardsighedandgrumbled,buthedidn’targue.Instead,heaskedaboutNewYork,andIcaughthimuponeverythingI’dbeendoingsinceIsawhimlastChristmasuntilhegottiredanddozedoffinthemiddleofmystoryaboutLouis’sunfortunatewinespill.
He’drefusedtotellmehowheendedupinthehospital,butNikolaiandthedoctorsfilledmein.Apparently,mygrandfatherhadarare,previouslyundiagnosedheartconditionthatwasusuallylatentinpatientsuntilextremestressoranxietytriggeredit.Insuchcases,theconditioncouldleadtosuddencardiacarrestanddeath.
InearlyhadcardiacarrestmyselfwhenIheardthat,butthedoctorsassuredmemygrandfather’scasehadbeenmild.He’dfaintedandhadbeenunconsciousforawhile,buthedidn’tneedsurgery,whichwasagoodthing.However,theconditiondidn’thaveacureandhewouldneedtomakemajorlifestylechangestoreducehisstresslevelsifhedidn’twantamoreseriousincidentinthefuture.
IcouldonlyimagineEdvard’sresponsetothat.Hewasaworkaholicifthereeverwasone.
Thedoctorskepthiminthehospitalanotherthreedaysformonitoring.They’dwantedtokeephimaweek,butherefused.Hesaiditwouldbebadforpublicmorale,andheneededtogetbacktowork.Andwhenthekingwantedsomething,noonerefusedhim.
Afterhereturnedhome,NikolaiandItriedourbesttoconvincehimtooffloadsomeresponsibilitiestohisadvisors,buthekeptbrushingusoff.
Threeweekslater,wewerestillatanimpasse,andIwasatmywits’end.
“He’sbeingstubborn.”Icouldn’tkeepthefrustrationoutofmyvoiceasIguidedmyhorsetowardthebackofthepalacegrounds.Edvard,sickofbothNikolaiandInagginghimtoheedthedoctor’swarnings,hadallbutkickedusoutofthepalacefortheafternoon.Getsomesun,hesaid.Andleavemetostressinpeace.NikolaiandIhadnotbeenamused.“Heshouldatleastcutbackonthelate-nightcalls.”
“YouknowhowGrandfatheris.”Nikolaicameupbesidemeonhisownhorse,hishairtousledfromthewind.“He’smorestubbornthanyouare.”
“You,callingmestubborn?That’srich,”Iscoffed.“IfIrecallcorrectly,you’retheonewhowentonahungerstrikeforthreedaysbecauseGrandfatherwouldn’tletyouskydivewithyourfriends.”
Nikolaigrinned.“Itworked,didn’tit?Hecavedbeforedaythreewasover.”Mybrotherwasthespittingimageofourfather—wheat-coloredhair,blueeyes,squarejaw—andsometimes,theresemblancewassostrongitmademyhearthurt.“Besides,thatwasnothingcomparedtoyourinsistenceonlivinginAmerica.Isourhomecountryreallythatabhorrent?”
Thereitis.Nothinglikeabeautifulfalldaywithasideofguilt.“Youknowthat’snotwhy.”
“Bridget,Icancountthenumberoftimesyou’vebeenhomeinthepastfiveyearsononehand.Idon’tseeanyotherexplanation.”
“YouknowImissyouandGrandfather.It’sjust…everytimeI’mhome…”Itriedtothinkofthebestwaytophraseit.“I’munderamicroscope.EverysinglethingIdo,wear,andsayisdissected.Iswear,thetabloidscouldturnmebreathingwrongintoastory.ButintheU.S.,noonecaresaslongasIdon’tdoanythingcrazy.Icanjustbenormal.Orasnormalassomeonelikemecanget.”
Ican’tbreathehere,Nik.
“Iknowit’salot,”Nikolaisaid,hisfacesoftening.“Butwewerebornforthis,andyougrewuphere.Youdidn’thaveanissuewiththeattentionbefore.”
Yes,Idid.Ijustnevershowedit.
“Iwasyoung.”Wecametoastoponourhorses,andIstrokedmyhorse’smane,takingcomfortinthefamiliarfeelofitssilkyhairbeneathmyhand.“Peopleweren’tasviciouswhenIwasyoung,andthatwasbeforeIwenttocollegeandexperiencedwhatbeinganormalgirlfeelslike.Itfeels…good.”
Nikolaistaredatmewithastrangeexpression.IfIdidn’tknowbetter,Iwould’veswornitwasguilt,butthatmadenosense.Whatcouldhebeguiltyabout?
“Bridge…”
“What?”Myheartpoundedfaster.Histone,hisexpression,thetightsetofhisshoulders.Whateverhehadtosay,Iwouldn’tlikeit.
Helookeddown.“You’regoingtohatemeforthis.”
Itightenedmygriponmyreins.“Justtellme.”
“BeforeIdo,IwantyoutoknowIdidn’tplanforthistohappen,”Nikolaisaid.“IneverexpectedtomeetSabrinaandfallinlovewithher,nordidIexpectthisiswherewe’dbetwoyearslater.”
Confusionmingledwithmyapprehension.WhatdoesSabrinahavetodowiththis?
“Iwantedtotellyouearlier,”headded.“ButthenGrandfathergothospitalizedandeverythingwassocrazy…”Histhroatbobbedwithahardswallow.“Bridge,IaskedSabrinatomarryme.Andshesaidyes.”
OfeverythingI’dexpectedhimtosay,thatwasn’tit.Notbyalongshot
Ididn’tknowSabrinawell,butIlikedher.Shewassweetandfunnyandmademybrotherhappy.Thatwasenoughforme.Ididn’tunderstandwhyhewouldbenervousabouttellingme.“Nik,that’samazing.Congratulations!DidyoutellGrandfatheralready?”
“Yes.”Nikolaiwasstillwatchingmewithaguiltylookinhiseyes.
Mysmilefaded.“Washeupset?Iknowhewasn’thappywhenyoustarteddatingbecause—”Istopped.Icyfingerscrawleddownmyspineasthepiecesfinallyclicked.“Wait,”Isaidslowly.“Youcan’tmarrySabrina.She’snotofnobleblood.”
Thatwasthelawtalking,notme.Eldorra’sRoyalMarriagesLawstipulatedthemonarchmustmarrysomeoneofnoblebirth.Itwasarchaicbutironclad,andasthefutureking,Nikolaifellunderthelaw’sjurisdiction.
“No,”Nikolaisaid.“She’snot.”
Istaredathim.ItwassoquietIcouldheartheleavesrustleastheyflutteredtotheground.“Whatareyousaying?”
Dreadballoonedinmystomach,growingandgrowinguntilitsqueezedalltheairfrommylungs.
“Bridget,I’mabdicating.”
Theballoonpopped,leavingpiecesofdreadscatteredthroughoutmybody.Myheart,mythroat,myeyesandfingersandtoes.IwassoconsumedbyitIcouldn’tspeakforagoodminute.
“No.”Iblinked,hopingitwouldwakemeupfrommynightmare.Itdidn’t.“You’renot.You’regoingtobeking.You’vebeentrainingforitallyourlife.Youcan’tjustthrowthataway.”
“Bridget—”
“Don’t.”Everythingaroundmeblurred,thecolorsoftheleavesandskyandgrassblendingintoonecrazy,multicoloredhellscape.“Nik,howcouldyou?”
Normally,Icouldreasonmywayoutofanything,butreasonhadfled,leavingmewithnothingexceptpureemotionandasickeningsensationinmystomach
Ican’tbequeen.Icanticanticant.
“YouthinkIwanttodothis?”Nikolai’sfacetightened.“Iknowwhatabigdealitis.I’vebeenagonizingoveritformonths,tryingtofindloopholesandreasonsIshouldwalkawayfromSabrina.ButyouknowwhatParliamentislike.Howtraditionalitis.Theywouldneveroverturnthelaw,andI…”Hesighed,suddenlylookingmucholderthanhistwenty-sevenyears.“Ican’twalkawayfromher,Bridge.Iloveher.”
Iclosedmyeyes.OfallthereasonsNikolaicould’vechosenforabdicating,he’dpickedtheoneIcouldn’tfaulthimfor.
I’dneverbeeninlove,butI’ddreamtofitallmylife.Tofindthatgrand,sweepinglove,thekindworthgivingupakingdomfor.
Nikolaihadfoundhis.HowcouldIbegrudgehimsomethingIwouldmyselfgiveupmysoulfor?
WhenIopenedmyeyesagain,hewasstillthere,sittingtallandproudonhishorse.Lookingeveryinchthekinghewouldneverbe.
“When?”Iaskedinaresignedtone
Asmidgeofreliefsoftenedhisexpression.He’dprobablyexpectedmoreofafight,butthestressofthepastmonthhaddrainedallthefightoutofme.Itwouldn’tdoanygood,anyway.Oncemybrothersethismindonsomething,hedidn’tbackdown.
Stubbornnessraninourentirefamily.
“We’llwaituntilthefuror’sdieddownoverGrandfather’shospitalization.Maybeanothermonthortwo.Youknowhowthenewscycleisthesedays.It’llbeoldnewsbythen.We’llkeeptheengagementasecretuntilthentoo.Elin’salreadyworkingonapressstatementandplan,and—”
“Wait.”Ihelduponehand.“Elinalreadyknows?”
ApinkflushstoleoverNikolai’scheekboneswhenherealizedhismistake.“Ihadto—”
“Whoelseknows?”Thud.Thud.Thud.Myheartsoundedabnormallyloudtomyears.IwonderedifIhadaheartconditiontoo,likemygrandfather.IalsowonderedwhatwouldhappenifNikolaiabdicatedandIdiedrightthereinthesaddle.“Whoelsedidyoutellbeforeme?”
Ibitoutthewords.Eachonetastedbitter,coatedwithbetrayal.
“JustElin,Grandfather,andMarkus.Ihadtotellthem.”Nikolaididn’tbackdownfrommyglare.“ElinandMarkushavetogetoutinfrontofthis,politicallyandpress-wise.Theyneedtime.”
Awildlaughemergedfrommythroat.I’dnevermadesuchaferalsoundinmylife,andmybrotherflinchedatthesound.
“Theyneedtime?Ineedtime,Nik!”Freedom.Love.Choice.ThingsI’dalreadyhadsolittleof,goneforever.OrtheywouldbeafterNikolaiofficiallyannouncedhisabdication.“Ineedthetwo-and-a-halfdecadesyou’vealreadyhad,preparingyouforthethrone.Ineednottofeellikeanafterthoughtinadecisionthat’llchangemyentirelife.Ineed…”Ineedtogetoutofhere.
Otherwise,Imightdosomethingcrazy,likepunchmybrotherintheface.
I’dneverpunchedapersonbefore,butI’dwatchedenoughmoviestogetthegist.
Insteadoffinishingmysentence,Iurgedmyhorseintoacanter,thenafull-ongallop.Breathe.Justbreathe.
“Bridget,wait!”
IignoredNikolai’sshoutandspurredthehorsefasteruntilthetreeswhizzedbyinablur.
Bridget,I’mabdicating.
Hiswordsechoedinmyhead,tauntingme.
Ihadnever,notonceinmylife,entertainedthepossibilityNikolaiwouldn’ttakeoverthethrone.He’dwantedtobeking.Everyonehadwantedhimtobeking.He’dbeenready.
Me?Ididn’tthinkI’deverbeready.
WhendidNikolaiproposetoSabrina?Howlonghadeveryoneknown?WashisplannedabdicationpartofthereasonforGrandfather’scollapse?
Ididn’trememberseeinganengagementringonSabrina’sfingeratthehospital,butiftheywerekeepingitunderwrapsuntiltheannouncement,shewouldn’tbewearingone.
IwasinthedarkaboutsomethingthataffectedmemorethananyoneexceptNikolai,andIwassoconsumedbymyinnerturmoilIdidn’tnoticethelow-hangingbranchspeedingtowardmeuntilitwastoolate.
Painexplodedonmyforehead.Ifelloffmyhorseandlandedonthegroundwithahardthud,andthelastthingIrememberedseeingwasthestormcloudsrollinoverheadbeforedarknessswallowedmewhole.12Rhys
IsensedtroublebeforeIevenenteredthepalace’sreceptionhall,whereIheardPrinceNikolaitalkinginlowmurmurs.Thehairsonthebackofmyneckprickled,andthoughIcouldn’tmakeoutwhatBridget’sbrotherwassaying,thestressedpitchofhisvoicesetalarmsblaringinmyhead.
Mybootssqueakedagainstthereceptionhall’soverlypolishedmarblefloors,andNikolaifellsilent.Hestoodinthemiddleofthesoaringtwo-storyspacenexttoElinandViggo,theDeputyHeadofRoyalSecurity.I’dmemorizedeverystaffmember’sfaceandnamesoIwouldnoticeifanyonetriedtosneakinbydisguisingthemselvesasapalaceemployee.
Igavethegroupacurtnod.“YourHighness.”
“Mr.Larsen.”Nikolairespondedwitharegalnodofhisown.“Itrustyou’reenjoyingyourdayoff?”
Sincethepalacewassoheavilyguarded,IwasofftheclockwhenBridgetwasathome,whichwasmostdayssincehergrandfather’shospitalization.Itfeltstrange.Iwassousedtobeingbyhersidetwenty-four-sevenI…
Youdonotmissher.Idismissedtheridiculousideabeforeitbecameafullyformedthought.
“It’sbeenfine.”I’dtrieddrawingagain,butIhadn’tgottenmuchfurtherthanafewlinesonpaper.Iranoutofcreativity,inspiration—whateveryoucallit—monthsago,andtodayhadbeenmyfirsttimepickingupmysketchbooksince.
I’dneededsomethingtooccupymyhandsandmind.
Somethingthatwasn’tfive-ninewiththefaceofanangelandcurvesthatwouldfitperfectlybeneathmypalms.
Oh,forfuck’ssake.
Ihardenedmyjaw,determinednottofantasizeaboutmyfuckingclientinfrontofherbrother.Orever.
“Where’sPrincessBridget?”Accordingtoherschedule,shewassupposedtobehorsebackridingwithNikolai.Buttheskieslookedreadytopour,soIassumedthey’dcalleditadayearly.
NikolaiexchangedglanceswithElinandViggo,andtheneedleonmytroubleradarinchedclosertotheredzone.
“I’msureHerHighnessissomewhereinthepalace,”Viggosaid.Hewasashort,heavysetmanwitharuddyfaceandapassingresemblancetoaScandinavianDannyDeVito.“We’relookingforheraswespeak.”
Theneedlepushedpasttheredzoneintothewhite-hotemergencyzone.“Whatdoyoumean,you’relookingforher?”Myvoiceremainedcalm,butalarmandangerbubbledinmystomach.“Ithoughtshewaswithyou,YourHighness.”
ElinglaredatViggo.Shedidn’thavetospeakformetohearherscream,Viggo,youidiot.
Whateverwashappening,Iwasn’tsupposedtoknowaboutit.
Nikolaishiftedhisweight,discomfortslidingacrosshisface.“Shewas,butwegotintoanargumentandshe,ah,tookoffwhilewewereriding.”
“Howlongago?”Ididn’tgiveadamnifIsoundeddisrespectful.Itwasapersonalsafetyissue,andIwasBridget’sbodyguard.Ihadarighttoknowwhathappened.
Nikolai’sdiscomfortvisiblyincreased.“Anhourago.”
Theangererupted,edgingoutthealarmbyahair.“Anhourago?Andnoonethoughttocallme?”
“Watchyourtone,Mr.Larsen,”Elinadmonished.“You’respeakingtotheCrownPrince.”
“I’maware.”Elincouldtakeherglaresandshovethemupherassalongwiththestickpermanentlyresidingthere.“Noonehasseentheprincesssince?”
“Agroundskeeperfoundherhorse,”Viggosaid.“Wetookitbackto—”
“Foundherhorse.”Aveinpulsedinmyforehead.“Meaningshewasn’tridingitandshehadn’treturnedittothestablesherself.”Nomatterhowangryshewas,Bridgetwouldneverleaveananimalbehind.Somethinghadhappenedtoher.PanicgratedagainstmyinsidesasIbitout,“Tellme.Haveyousearchedthegrounds,orjustthepalace?”
“HerHighnesswouldn’tbeoutthere,”Viggoblustered.“It’sstorming!She’sinside—”
“Unlessshefelloffherhorseandisunconscioussomewhere.”Jesus,howthehellhadherisentothedeputysecuritychiefposition?Therewerehamsterswithmorebrainsthanhim.
“Bridgetisanexcellentequestrian,andwehaveafewpeoplesearchingoutside.Shecould’verunofftooneofherhidingplaces.Sheusedtodothatasakid.”NikolailookedatViggo.“ButMr.Larsen’sright.Itdoesn’thurttobeextrathorough.Shallwesendextramentocheckthegrounds?”
“Ifyouwish,YourHighness.I’lldrawupthequadrants…”
Un-fucking-believable.
IwashalfwayoutthedoorbeforeViggofinishedhismoronicsentence.ToobadtheHeadofSecurity,whowasactuallycompetent,wasonvacationbecausehisdeputywasagoddamnedidiot.Bythetimehefinisheddrawinghisquadrants,Bridgetcouldbeseriouslyhurt.
“Whereareyougoing?”Elincalledafterme.
“Todomyjob.”
Ipickedupmypace,cursingthesizeofthepalaceasIsprintedtowardtheclosestdoorleadingoutdoors.BythetimeIhitthegrounds,mypanichadescalatedintofull-blownterror.ThunderboomedsolouditrattledthedoorasIshutitbehindme,anditwasrainingsohardthegardensandfountainsblurredinfrontofme.
Theestatewastoolargeformetosearchitallbymyself,soIhadtobestrategic.Mybestbetwouldbetostartattheofficialhorsebackridingtrailinthesoutheastcornerandgofromthere,thoughtherainwould’vewashedawayanyhoofprintsbynow.
Luckily,thepalacehadafleetofmotorizedcartstoferryguestsaroundthegrounds,andImadeittotheridingtrailintenminutesinsteadofthehalfhouritwould’vetakenmeonfoot.
“Comeon,princess,whereareyou?”Imuttered,myeyesstrainingtoseepastthethicksheetofwaterslantingthroughtheair.
ImagesofBridgetlyingontheground,herbodytwistedandbroken,flashedthroughmymind.Myskinturnedicecold,andthewheelslippedagainstmysweatypalms.
Ifanythinghappenedtoher,IwouldmurderViggo.Slowly.
Iscouredthetrails,buttwentyminuteslater,Istillhadn’tfoundher,andIwasgettingdesperate.Shecouldbeindoors,butmyguttoldmeshewasn’t,andmygutwasneverwrong.
Maybeshewasinanareathecartcouldn’treach.Itwouldn’thurttocheck.
Ikilledtheengineandjumpedout,ignoringtheharshstingofraindropsonmyskin.
“Bridget!”Therainswallowedhername,andIletoutalowcurse.“Bridget!”Itriedagain,mybootssinkingintothemuddygroundasIsearchedtheareanearthetrail.Therainplasteredmyshirtandpantstomyskin,makingithardtomove,butI’dweatheredworsethanapunythunderstormasaSEAL.
Iwasn’tgivingupuntilIfoundher.
IwasabouttomoveontoadifferentsectionofthegroundswhenIspottedaflashofblondeoutofthecornerofmyeye.Myhearttripped,andIfrozeforhalfabeatbeforeIsprintedtowardher.
Pleaseletitbeher.
Itwas.
Isankontomykneesbyherside,mychesthollowingatthepalenessofBridget’sfaceandthelarge,purplishbruiseonherforehead.Asmalltrickleofblooddrippeddownthesideofherface,turningpinkwhenitmingledwiththerain.Shewasunconsciousandcompletelysoakedthrough.
Asnarling,protectivebeastroseinmychestwithsuchferocityitstunnedme.
Viggowasasgoodasdead.Ifhehadn’tdraggedhisfeet,ifsomeonehadfuckingcalledmeandtoldmeBridgetwasmissing…
Iforcedmyselftopushtheangerasidefornow.Ihadmoreimportantthingstofocuson.
Icheckedherpulse,whichwasweakbutsteady.ThankGod.Iquicklyscannedtherestofherforsignsofinjury.Normalbreathing,nobrokenlimbs,andnobloodexceptforthecutonherforehead.Herhelmetwasaskew,anddirtsmearedhercheeksandclothes.
Thebeastinmychestsnarledagain,readytoripnotonlyViggobutNikolaitoshredsfornotprotectingher,oratleastbeingthereforher.
Heprobablycouldn’thavedoneanythingtopreventBridgetfromfallingoffherhorse—judgingbyherhelmetandpositionontheground,thatmust’vebeenwhathappened—butthebeastdidn’tcare.Allitknewwasshewashurt,andforthat,someonehadtopay.
Later.
Ineededtogethertothedoctorfirst.
IcursedagainwhenIrealizedIhadnocellservice.Thestormmust’veknockeditout.
StandardmedicaladvicesaidIshouldn’tmoveaninjuredpersonwithoutprofessionalspresent,butIhadnochoice.
IscoopedBridgetupinmyarmsandcarriedhertothecart,supportingherneckwithonehand.WemadeithalfwaywhenIheardalowgroan.
Myhearttrippedagain.“Princess,youawake?”Ikeptmyvoiceeven,notwantingtopanicandscareher.
Bridgetletoutanothergroan,hereyesflutteringopen.“Mr.Larsen?Whatareyoudoing?Whathappened?”Shetriedtotwistherheadtolookaround,butIstoppedherwithafirmsqueezeonherthigh.
“You’reinjured.Don’tmoveunlessyouabsolutelyhaveto.”Wereachedthecart,andIsethercarefullyinthepassengerseatbeforeItookthedriver’sseatandturnedontheengine.Relieffloodedmyveins,sothickitalmostchokedme.
Shewasokay.Shemighthaveaconcussion,judgingbythebruise,butshewasconsciousandtalkingandalive.
“Doyourememberwhathappened?”Iwantedtospeedbacktothepalace,whichhadanin-housedoctor,butIforcedmyselftodriveslowlytominimizeanybumpsandjerkymovements.
Bridgettouchedherforeheadwithawince.“Iwasridingand…therewasabranch.Ididn’tseeituntilitwastoolate.”Shesqueezedhereyesshut.“Myheadhurts,andeverything’sblurry.”
Dammit.Concussionforsure.
Myhandsstrangledthewheel,whichIpicturedasViggo’sneck.“We’llbeatthepalacesoon.Fornow,justrelaxanddon’tforceyourselftotalk.”
Ofcourse,shedidn’tlisten.
“Howdidyoufindme?”Bridgetspokeslowerthanusual,andthefaintnoteofpaininhervoicemademystomachlurch.
“Ilooked.”Iparkedthecartnearthebackentrance.“Youshouldfireyourdeputysecuritychief.He’samoron.IfIhadn’tfoundyou,he’dstillhavehispeoplesearchingtheinsideofthepalacelike—what?”
“Howlongdidyoulookforme?”Bridgetgavemeastrangelook,onethatmademyhearttwistintheoddestway.
“Don’tremember,”Igrunted.“Let’sgetyouinside.You’resoaked.”
“Soareyou.”Shestayedinthecart.“Didyou…youlookedformeintherainbyyourself?”
“LikeIsaid,Viggoisamoron.Inside,princess.Youneedthatcutandbruiselookedat.Youprobablyhaveaconcussion.”
“I’mokay.”ButBridgetdidn’targuewhenIslippedmyarmaroundherwaistandherarmaroundmyneck,lettingherusemeasacrutchaswewalkedinside.
Luckily,thedoctor’sofficewasn’ttoofarfromthebackentrance,andwhenshesawthestateBridgetwasin,shesprangintoaction.
WhileshepatchedBridget’sforeheadupandgaveheramorethoroughcheckforinjuries,Idriedoffinthebathroomandwaitedinthehall.Ididn’ttrustmyselfnottolookatBridget’sbruiseandcutandnotlosemyshit.
Thesoundofrapidfootstepsfilledthehall,andmylippeeledbackinasnarlwhenIsawNikolairunningtowardme,followedbyViggoandElin.Oneofthestaffmust’vealertedthemwhentheysawmeandBridget.
Perfect.Ineededtoletoffsomesteam.
“IsBridgetokay?”theprinceasked,hisfaceworried.
“Forthemostpart.Thedoctor’scheckingheroutnow.”IwaiteduntilNikolaiwasinsidethedoctor’sofficebeforeIturnedmyattentiontoViggo.
“You.”IgrabbedthecollarofViggo’sshirtandliftedhimuntilhisfeetdangledintheair.“Itoldyoushewasoutside.Anydamnpersonwithcommonsensewouldknowshewasoutside,yetyouwastedanhoursearchingindoorswhileBridgetwasunconsciousintherain.”
“Mr.Larsen!”Elinsoundedscandalized.“Thisistheroyalpalace,notadivebarwhereyoubrawlwithotherpatrons.PutViggodown.”
IignoredherandloweredmyvoiceuntilonlyViggocouldhearme.“Youbetterpraytheprincessisn’tseriouslyhurt.”
“Areyouthreateningme?”hesputtered.
“Yes.”
“Icouldfireyou.”
Ibaredmyteethinasemblanceofasmile.“Try.”
TheHeadofRoyalSecurityoversawmycontract,butViggocouldn’tfindawayoutofhisassifsomeoneplantedneonlightsmarkingtheway,muchlessfiremewithouthisboss’sapproval.
IreleasedViggo’scollarandsethimonthegroundwhenthedoctor’sdooropened.
“Mr.Larsen,Viggo,Elin.”Ifshesuspectedthere’dbeenascuffleoutsideheroffice,shedidn’tshowit.“I’vefinishedthecheckup.Comein.”
MyangeratViggotookabackseattomyconcernoverBridgetaswecrowdedintotheminiclinic,whereBridgetsatonthehospitalbed.Shedidn’tlookhappytoseeNikolai,whostoodnexttoherwithatightexpression.
ThedoctorinformedusBridgetdid,indeed,haveaconcussion,butsheshouldrecoverintentofourteendays.Shealsohadamildwristsprainandthebeginningsofanastycold.Nothinglife-threatening,butshewouldbeuncomfortableforthenextfewweeks.
IglaredatViggo,whoshrankbehindNikolailikeacoward.
Istayedaftereveryoneelseleft,andthedoctortookonelookatmyfacebeforemurmuringanexcuseandslippingoutthedoor,leavingmeandBridgetalone.
“I’mfine,”BridgetsaidbeforeIcouldopenmymouth.“AfewweeksofrestandI’llbegoodasnew.”
Icrossedmyarmsovermychest,unconvinced.“Whatthehellhappened?Nikolaisaidyouranoffafteryoutwogotinanargument.”
Herfaceshutdown.“Siblingsquabble.Itwasnothing.”
“Bullshit.Youdon’trunoffinanger.”
Nottomention,Bridgethadn’tspokentohimoncewhilehewasintheroom,whichwastelling.Shewouldneverignoreherbrotherunlesshe’dreallypissedheroff.
“There’safirsttimeforeverything,”shesaid.
Afrustratedgrowlroseinmythroat.“Dammit,princess,youneedtobemorecareful.Ifsomethinghappenedtoyou,I—”Ibrokeoffabruptly,swallowingtherestofmywords.Idon’tknowwhatI’ddo.
Bridget’sfacesoftened.“I’mfine,”sherepeated.“Don’tworryaboutme.”
“Toofuckin’late.”
Shehesitated,seemingtodebatesomethingbeforeshesaid,“Becauseit’syourjob.”
Thequestionhungintheair,loadedwithadeepermeaning.
Myjawflexed.“Yes,”Ifinallysaid,myheartdoinganoddlittletwistagain.“Becauseit’smyjob.”13Bridget
Thenextfewweeksweremiserable,notonlybecauseIwassickandhealingfrommyinjuries,butbecausethelullinmypublicschedulegavemeplentyoftimetofreakoutaboutNikolai’sabdication.
Iwasgoingtobequeen.Maybenottomorroworamonthfromnow,butoneday,andonedaywasfartoosoon.
Iliftedmywineglasstomylipsandstaredupatthenightsky.ItwasthreeweekstothedaysincemyconversationwithNikolai.
Myconcussionhadhealed,andI’dlongsincerecoveredfrommycold.Istillhadtobecarefulwithmywrist,butotherwise,Iwasupandrunningagain,whichmeantIhadtoattendmeetingaftermeetingabouthowandwhentoannouncetheabdication,howtohandlethefallout,plansformypermanentmovebacktoEldorra,andamillionotherthingsthatmademyheadspin.
Thatmorning,myfamily,Markus,andIagreedonanofficialannouncementamonthfromnow.Orrather,everyoneelseagreed,andIwentalongwithitbecauseIdidn’thaveachoice.
Onemonth.Onemoremonthoffreedom,andthatwasit.
Iwasabouttotakeanotherdrinkwhenthedoortotherooftopcreakedopen.Istraightened,mymouthfallingopenwhenIsawRhysstepoutside.Judgingbythewayhiseyebrowsshotup,hewasassurprisedtoseemeasIwashim.
“Whatareyoudoinghere?”weaskedatthesametime.
Ihuffedoutasmalllaugh.“Mr.Larsen,thisismyhouse.Ishouldbetheonlyoneaskingthatquestion.”
“Ididn’tthinkanyonecameouthere.”Hetooktheseatnexttome,andItriednottonoticehowgoodhesmelled,likesoapandsomethingindescribablyRhys.Clean,simple,masculine.
Wewereontherooftopofoneofthepalace’snorthtowers,whichcouldonlybeaccessedviatheservicehallwaynearthekitchen.Comparedtothepalace’sactual,terracedrooftopgarden,itwasnothing,barelybigenoughforthechairsI’dbribedastaffmembertohelpmebringup.ButthatwaswhyIlikedit.Itwasmysecrethaven,theplaceIescapedtowhenIneededtothinkandbeawayfrompryingeyes.
Idrainedtherestofmywineandreachedforthebottleatmyfeet,onlytorealizeitwasempty.Irarelydranksomuch,butIneededsomethingtoeasetheanxietyfollowingmearoundlikeablackcloudthesedays.
“Justme.Mostpeopledon’tknowaboutthisplace,”Isaid.“Howdidyoufindit?”
“Ifindeverything.”RhyssmirkedwhenIscrunchedmynoseathisarrogance.“Ihavethepalaceblueprints,princess.Iknoweverynookandcrannyofthisplace.It’smy—”
“Job,”Ifinished.“Iknow.Youdon’thavetokeepsayingit.”
He’dsaidthesamethinginDr.Hausen’soffice.Iwasn’tsurewhyitannoyedmesomuch.Maybebecause,forasecond,Icould’veswornhisworryformewentbeyondhisprofessionalobligations.Andmaybe,forasecond,Icould’veswornIwanteditto.Iwantedhimtocareaboutmeasme,notashisclient.
Rhys’slipsquirkedbeforehisgazetraveledtomyforehead.“How’sthebruise?”
“Fading,thanktheLord.”Itwasnowapaleyellowishgreen.Stillunsightly,butbetterthantheglaringpurpleitusedtobe.“Anditdoesn’thurtsomuchanymore.”
“Good.”Hebrushedhisfingersgentlyoverthebruise,andmybreathstuttered.Rhysnevertouchedmeunlesshehadto,butatthatmoment,hedidn’thaveto.Whichmeanthewantedto.“Yougottabemorecareful,princess.”
“You’vesaidthatalready.”
“I’llkeepsayingituntilyougetitinyourhead.”
“Trustme.It’sinmyhead.Howcanitnotbewhenyoukeepnaggingme?”
Despitemygrumbles,Ifoundastrangecomfortinhisnagging.Inaworldwhereeverythingelsewaschanging,Rhysremainedwonderfully,unrelentinglyhim,andIneverwantedthattochange.
Hishandlingeredonmyforeheadforanothermomentbeforehedroppeditandpulledaway,andoxygenreturnedtomylungs.
“So.”Rhysleanedbackandlacedhisfingersbehindhishead.Hedidn’tlookatmeasheasked,“Whodoyouusuallybringuphere?”
“What?”Icockedmyhead,confused.Ineverbroughtanyoneuphere.
“Twochairs.”Henoddedatmine,thentheonehewassittingin.“Who’sthesecondonefor?”Histonewascasual,butatightcurrentranbeneathit
“Noone.Therearetwochairsbecause…”Ifaltered.“Idon’tknow.IguessIhopedI’dfindsomeoneIwantedtobringuphereoneday.”Ihadsilly,romanticnotionsofmeandmysteryguysneakingupheretokissandlaughandtalkallnight,butthechancesofthatweregrowingslimmerbytheminute.
“Hmm.”Rhyswassilentforasecondbeforehesaid,“Youwantmetoleave?”
“What?”Isoundedlikeabrokenrecord.
MaybethehittomyheadhadscrambledmybrainsbecauseI’dneverbeenthisinarticulate.
“Seemslikethisisyoursecretspot.Didn’trealizeIwasintrudingwhenIcameuphere,”hesaidgruffly.
Somethingwarmcascadedthroughmystomach.“You’renotintruding,”Isaid.“Stay.Please.Icouldusethecompany.”
“Okay.”
Andthatwasthat.
Icouldn’tholdbackasmile.Ididn’tthinkIwouldenjoysharingthisspacewithanyoneelse,butIlikedhavingRhysherewithme.Hedidn’tfeeltheneedtofillthesilencewithunnecessarysmalltalk,andhispresencecomfortedme,evenifheirritatedme,too.Whenhewasnear,Iwassafe.
Istretchedmylegsoutandaccidentallyknockedovertheemptywinebottle,whichrolledacrossthefloortowardRhys.Ibenttopickitupatthesametimehedid,andourfingersbrushedforasecond.
No,notevenasecond.Amillisecond.Butitwasenoughtosendelectricitysizzlingupmyarmanddownmyspine.
Iyankedmyhandaway,myskinhot,ashepickedupthebottleandplaceditontheothersideofhischair,awayfrombothourlegs.
Ourbrieftouchfeltindecent,likeweweredoingsomethingweweren’tsupposedtodo.Whichwasridiculous.Wehadn’tevenplannedit.Itwasanaccident.
You’reoverthinking.
Thecloudsshifted,unblockingpartofthemoon,andlightspilledacrossthetower,illuminatingpartofRhys’sface.Itappearedgrimmerthanithadamomentago.
Evenso,hewasbeautiful.Notinaperfect,Greekgodsculpturekindofway,butinapure,unabashedlymasculineway.Thedarkstubble,thesmallscarslashingthroughhiseyebrow,thegunmetaleyes…
MystomachdidaslowrollasIstrugglednottofocusonhowalonewewereuphere.Wecoulddoanything,andnoonewouldknow.
Nooneexceptus.
“Heardwe’releavingnextweek,”Rhyssaid.Imight’veimaginedit,butIthoughthesoundedstrained,likehe,too,wasfightingbacksomethinghecouldn’tquitecontrol.
“Yes.”Ihopedmyvoicedidn’tcomeacrossasshakyasitdidtomyownears.“Mygrandfather’sconditionissteadyfornow,andIneedtowrapupmyaffairsinNewYorkbeforeImoveback.”
Irealizedmymistakebeforethewordsfullyleftmymouth.
Ihadn’ttoldRhysaboutNikolai’sabdicationyet,whichmeanthedidn’tknowaboutmyplanstomovebacktoAthenberg.Permanently.
Rhysstilled.“Moveback?”Hesoundedcalm,butthestormbrewinginhiseyeswasanythingbut.“Here?”
Iswallowedhard.“Yes.”
“Youdidn’tmentionthat,princess.”Stillcalm,stilldangerous,liketheeyeofahurricane.“Seemslikeanimportantthingformetoknow.”
“It’snotfinalized,butthat’stheplan.I…wanttobeclosertomygrandfather.”Thatwaspartlytrue.He’drecoverednicelyfromhishospitalvisitandhehadpeoplemonitoringhimaroundtheclock,butIstillworriedabouthimandwantedtobeclosebyshouldanythinghappen.However,ascrownprincess,IwasalsorequiredtoreturntoAthenbergformyqueentraining.Iwasalreadybehindbydecades.
Rhys’snostrilsflared.“Whenwereyouplanningtotellmethis?”
“Soon,”Iwhispered.
ThepalacewaskeepingNikolai’sabdicationundertightwraps,andIwasn’tsupposedtotalkaboutituntilclosertotheofficialannouncement.Icould’vetoldRhysIwasmovingbacktoEldorraearlierusingtheexcuseIjustgavehim,butI’dwantedtopretendeverythingwasnormalforawhilelonger.
Itwasstupid,butmymindhadbeenallovertheplacelately,andIcouldn’tmakesenseofmyownactions.
SomethingflickeredinRhys’seyes.IfIdidn’tknowbetter,Iwouldthinkhewashurt.“Well,nowyoucanfinallyberidofme,”hesaidlightly,buthisfacemightaswellhavebeenetchedfromstone.“I’lltalktomybossonMonday,getthepaperworkstartedforthetransition.”
Transition.
Mybreath,myheart.Everythingstopped.“You’reresigning?”
“Youdon’tneedmehere.YouhavetheRoyalGuard.Iresign,orthepalacereleasesmefrommycontract.Sameending.”
Thethoughthadn’tcrossedmymind,butitmadesense.ThepalacehadhiredRhysbecausetheyhadn’twantedtopullanyRoyalGuardmembersawayfromtheirfamilywhenIwaslivingintheU.S.NowthatIwasmovingback,theydidn’tneedacontractor.
“ButI…”Idoneedyou.
RhysandImaynothavegottenalonginthebeginning,butnow,Icouldn’timaginenothavinghimbymyside.
Thekidnapping.Graduation.Mygrandfather’shospitalization.Dozensoftrips,hundredsofevents,thousandsoftinymomentslikethetimehe’dorderedmechickensoupwhenIwassickorwhenhe’dlentmehisjacketafterIleftmineathome.
He’dbeenwithmethroughitall.
“So,that’sit.”Iblinkedawaytheachebehindmyeyes.“Wehaveonemoremonthandthenyou’lljust…leave.”
Rhys’seyesdarkenedtoanearblack,andamusclejumpedinhisjaw.“Don’tworry,princess.Maybeyou’llgetBoothasyourbodyguardagain.It’llbelikeoldtimesforyoutwo.”
Iwassuddenly,irrationallyangry.Athim,hisdismissivetone,theentiresituation.
“MaybeIwill,”Isnapped.“Ican’twait.HewasthebestbodyguardIeverhad.”
Itwasalowblow,andjudgingbythewayRhysstiffened,ithititstarget
“Good.Thenit’sawin-winallaround,”hesaidinacold,controlledvoice.Hestoodandwalkedtotheexitwithoutlookingback.
Thedoorslammedbehindhim,causingmetojump.
Theachebehindmyeyesintensifieduntilastraytearslippeddownmycheek.Iwipeditawayangrily.
Ihadnoreasontocry.I’dchangedbodyguardsplentyoftimesbefore,andIwasusedtopeopleleaving.Rhyshadn’tevenbeenwithmeforthatlong.Boothhadbeenwithmeforfouryears,andIhadn’tcriedwhenheleft.
Anothertearfell.Iwipedthatoneawaytoo.
Princessesdon’tcry.Elin’sdisapprovingvoiceechoedinmyhead.
Shewasright.
IrefusedtospendmylastmonthoffreedomagonizingoverRhysLarsen,ofallpeople.WewouldreturntoNewYork,Iwouldsortmyaffairs,andIwouldsoakupeveryminuteofmyremainingtimeasamereprincess,notqueentobe.
Forgetproprietyandprotocol.IftherewaseveratimetolivemylifethewayIwanted,itwasnow.
AndifRhyshadaproblemwiththat?Toobad.14Rhys
3weekslater
Somepeoplehaveshittydaysorshittyweeks.I’dhadashittymonth.
ThingsbetweenmeandBridgethadbeenchillysinceshetoldmeshewasmovingbacktoEldorra,andIhatedthatwashowwewerespendingourlastdaystogether.
Ourlastdaystogether.
Mychestclenchedatthethought,butIforcedmyselftoignoreitandfocusonthetaskathand.Iwasstillontheclock.WehadaweekleftinNewYork.Afterthat,IwouldaccompanyherbacktoAthenberg,whereIwouldstayanotherweekuntilhernewguardfullytransitionedintotherole.
Wedidn’tknowwhothenewguywouldbeyet,butIalreadyhatedhim…thoughnotasmuchasIhatedtheguyBridgetwasdancingwithrightnow.
WewereintheVIProomofBorgia,afancynightclubindowntownManhattan,andBridgethadherarmswrappedaroundthepretty-boydouchewho’dbeenoglingherallnight.Irecognizedhim—VincentHauz,anelectronicsheirandnotoriouswomanizerwhospentthemajorityofhisdaysdrinking,partying,andkeepingthecity’sdrugdealersflushwithcash.HeandBridgethadattendedafewofthesameeventsinthepast.
I’dneverwantedtoriphisarmsoffuntilnow.
Apersononlyhadtolookathisfacetoknowwhatkindofthoughtswererunningthroughhismind,andtheyhadnothingtodowithdancing.Atleast,nottheverticalkind.
MybloodburnedasBridgetlaughedatsomethingVincentsaid.Iwaspositivehewasn’tcapableofsayinganythingwittyevenifsomeonethreatenedtotakehisinheritanceaway,butBridgetwasalsodrunk.She’dalreadydownedtwococktailsandfiveshots—I’dcounted—andIcouldspotthealcohol-inducedflushonhercheeksfromacrosstheroom.
Sheworeasparklingsilverdressthatbarelycoveredherbottomandapairoflethal-lookingheelsthattransformedherfromtalltoAmazonian.Tousledgoldenhair,longlegs,skingleamingwithafaintsheenofsweat—shewasmagnificent.Andnotherself.
NormalBridgetwould’veneverwornadresslikethat—notbecauseshecouldn’t,butbecauseitwasn’therstyle—butshe’dbeenactingstrangesincethatnightontherooftop.Wilder,lessinhibited,andmorepronetoquestionabledecisions.
Caseinpoint:VincentHauz.Shedidn’tliketheguy.She’dsaidsoherselfonetime,andyetthereshewas,cozyinguptohim.
Hepulledhercloserandslidhishanddownherbacktocupherass.
BeforeIknewwhatIwasdoing,I’dshovedmywayacrossthedancefloorandclampedmyhandonVincent’sshouldertightenoughheflinchedandpulledbackfromBridgettoseewhotheinterloperwas.
“CanIhelpyou?”Histonedrippedwithdisdainashelookedmeover,obviouslyunimpressedbymylackofdesignerclothesandfancyaccessories.
Toughshit.Maybehe’dbemoreimpressedbymyfistinhisface.
“Yes.”Ibaredmyteethinasemblanceofasmile.“RemoveyourhandsfromherbeforeIremovethemforyou.”
“Andwhothefuckareyoutotellmewhattodo?”Vincentsneered.
Themanwho’sabouttopummelyourfaceintoapulp.
BeforeIcouldrespond,Bridgetcutin.“Noone.”Sheglaredatme.“I’mfine.Gobacktoyourpost.”
ThehellIwill.
IfBridgetwereanyonebutmyclient,I’ddragherintothebathroom,bendherover,andspankherassrawforherinsolenttone.
Instead,Iglaredbackather,strivingtokeepmytemperundercontrol.
Shewantedtoparty?Fine.Shewantedtogivemethecoldshoulder?Fine.ButovermydeadbodywouldshehaveanythingtodowithVincentfuckingHauz.ThemanmustbecrawlingwithSTDs.
Vincent’seyesping-pongedbetweenusbeforerealizationdawned.“You’rethebodyguard!”Hesnappedhisfingers.“Dude,youshould’vesaidso.Don’tworry.”HewrappedanarmaroundBridget’swaistandpulledhercloserwithaleeringsmile.“I’lltakegoodcareofher.”
Fuckpummelinghisface.Iwantedtoknockallhisteethout.
Unfortunately,thatwouldcauseascene,andrulenumberoneofbodyguarding,asBridgetcalledit,wasnottocauseascene.So,Ididthenextbestthing.ItightenedthegripIstillhadonhisshoulderuntilIheardasmallcrackabovethemusic.
VincentyelpedandreleasedBridget,hisfaceawashwithpain.“Whatthefuck,man?”
“WhatdidIsayaboutremovingyourhandsfromher?”Iaskedcalmly.
“You’reinsane,”hesputtered.“Bridget,whoisthisguy?Firehim!”
IignoredhimandturnedtoBridget.“It’stimetogo,YourHighness.”Wewereattractingattention,whichwasthelastthingIwanted,butfuckifIwasgoingtoletthiscreeptakeadvantageofher.“Youhaveanearlymorningtomorrow.”
Shedidn’t.Iwasgivingheranout—oneshedidn’ttake.
“Goodidea.”BridgetbrushedoffmywarningstareandplacedahandonVincent’schest.Mypulsebeatanangrydrumbeatbeneathmycollar.“I’llleavewithVincent.Youcantaketherestofthenightoff.”
“Youheardher.”VincentwrenchedhimselffrommygraspandtookastepbehindBridget.Coward.“Getouttahere.I’llbringherhomeinthemorning.”HeranhiseyesoverBridget’schestandbarelegs,hisgazelecherous.
Themandidn’thaveasinglebraincellinhisover-inflatedhead.Ifhedid,hewouldberunningforhisliferightnow.
“Wrong.Thisiswhatyou’regoingtodo.”Ikeptmyvoicefriendly.Conversational.Butbeneaththepoliteveneerranarazor-sharpbladeofsteel.“You’regoingtoturnaround,walkaway,andneverspeak,touch,orsomuchaslookinherdirectionagain.Considerthisyourfirstandfinalwarning,Mr.Hauz.”
Iknewhisname.HeknewIknewhisname.Andifhewasstupidenoughtoignoremywarning,Iwouldhunthimdown,ripoffhisballs,andfeedthemtohim.
Vincent’sfaceflushedamottledpurple.“Areyouthreateningme?”
Iloomedoverhim,relishingthefearthatskitteredthroughhiseyes.“Yes.”
“Don’tlistentohim,”Bridgetsaidthroughgrittedteeth.“Hedoesn’tknowwhathe’stalkingabout.”
Vincenttookanotherstepback,oozinghatred,butthefearinhiseyesremained.“Whatever.I’moverthisshit.”Hestormedawayanddisappearedintothecrowdofdrunkenpartygoers.
Bridgetspuntowardme.“Whatisyourproblem?”
“Myproblemisyou’reactinglikeadrunk,spoiledbrat,”Isnapped.“You’resoshit-facedyouhavenoideawhatyou’redoing.”
“IknowexactlywhatI’mdoing.”Shestaredupatme,allfireanddefiance,andheatcurledinsideme.Ididn’tknowwhatitwasaboutherangerthatturnedmeonsomuch.MaybeitwasbecauseitwasoneofthefewtimesIcouldseeherandnotthemasksheshowedtheworld.“I’mhavingfun,andI’mleavingwithaguyattheendofthenight.Youcan’tstopme.”
Ismiledcoldly.“You’reright.Youareleavingwithaguy.Me.”
“No,I’mnot.”Bridgetcrossedherarmsoverherchest.
“Youhavetwooptions.”Ileanedincloseenoughtosmellherperfume.“Youcaneitherwalkoutofherewithmelikeanadult,orIcanthrowyouovermyshoulderandcarryyououtofherelikeachild.Whichonewillitbe,princess?”
Shewasn’ttheonlyonepissedtonight.
Iwaspissedshe’dspentthelasthalfhourlettingaweasellyfuckerputhishandsalloverher.Iwaspissedwewerefightingwhenwehadtwoweekslefttogether.Mostofall,IwaspissedathowmuchIwantedherwhenIcouldn’thaveher.
IftherewasonethinghermovebacktoEldorramadeclear,itwasthatourrelationshipwasatemporaryone.Italwayshadbeen,butithadn’thitclosetohomeuntilnow.
Attheendoftheday,shewasaprincess,andIwastheguythey’dhireduntiltheydidn’tneedmeanymore.
CrimsonstainedBridget’shighcheekbones.“Youwouldn’tdare.”
“Tryme.”
“Youforgetyou’renotthebosshere,Mr.Larsen.”
Thetemperatureofmysmiledroppedanothertendegrees.“Youwanttotestthattheory?”
Herlipsthinned.Forasecond,Ithoughtshemightstayjusttospiteme.Then,withoutsayingawordorsomuchaslookingatme,shepushedpastmeandwalkedtowardtheexit,hershouldersstiff.Ifollowedher,myscowldarkenoughtomaketheotherclubbersscatterlikemarblesbeforeme.
WetookthefirstcabwefoundbacktoBridget’stownhouse,anditbarelystoppedbeforeBridgetjumpedoutandspedwalktothefrontdoor.Ipaidthedriverandcaughtupwithherinfourstrides.
Weenteredthehouse,ourfootstepsechoingonthewoodfloors.Whenwereachedthesecondfloor,Bridgetopenedherbedroomdoorandtriedtoslamitinmyface,butIwedgedmyarminthegapbeforeshecoulddoso.
“Weneedtotalk,”Isaid.
“Idon’twanttotalk.You’vealreadyruinedmynight.Nowleavemealone.”
“Notuntilyoutellmewhatthehell’sgoingon.”Mygazeburnedintohers,searchingforahintastowhatwasgoingoninthatbeautifulheadofhers.“You’vebeenactingstrangeforweeks.Something’swrong.”
“Nothing’swrong.”Bridgetgaveuptryingtobarmefromherroomandreleasedthedoor.Ipusheditallthewayopenbutremainedinthedoorway,watching.Waiting.“I’mtwenty-three,Mr.Larsen.Twenty-three-year-oldsgooutanddrinkandsleepwithguys.”
Amuscletickedinmyjaw.“Notthewayyou’vebeendoingsincewegotbacktoNewYork.”
Notthesleepingwithguyspart,thankGod,butthegoingoutanddrinking.
“MaybeI’mtiredoflivinglifethewayIshouldandwanttolivelifethewayIcould.”Bridgetremovedherjewelryandplaceditonherdresser.“Mygrandfatheralmostdied.Oneminutehewasstanding,thenexthecollapsed.What’stosaythesamethingwon’thappentome?”
Herwordsheldaringoftruth,butnotthefulltruth.Ikneweveryinflectionofhervoice,everymeaningbehindeverymovement.Therewassomethingshewasn’ttellingme.
“So,youdecidedyouwanttospendyourpotentiallastmomentwithVincentfuckingHauz?”Iscoffed.
“Youdon’tevenknowhim.”
“Iknowenough.”
“Please.”Bridgetspuntowardme,furyandsomethinginfinitelysadderglitteringinhereyes.“EverytimeIsomuchassmileataman,youbulldozeyourwaybetweenuslikeaterritorialbear.Whyisthat,Mr.Larsen?Especiallywhenyoutoldmeinnouncertaintermswhenwefirstmetthatyoudon’tgetinvolvedinyourclients’personallives.”
Ididn’tanswer,butmyjawcontinuedtotickinrhythmwithmypulse.TickTick.Tick.Abombwaitingtogooffandblowupourlivesasknewit.
“Maybe…”Bridget’sexpressionturnedcontemplativeasshetookasteptowardme.Mistakenumberone.“Youwanttobeintheirplace.”Shesmiled,butthehauntedlookremainedinhereyes.“Doyouwantme,Mr.Larsen?Theprincessandthebodyguard.Itwouldmakeanicestoryforyourbuddies.”
Mistakenumbertwo.
“Youwanttostoptalkingnow,YourHighness,”Isaidsoftly.“Andbevery,verycarefulwhatyoudonext.”
“Why?”Bridgettookanothersteptowardme,thenanother,untilshewaslessthanafootaway.“I’mnotafraidofyou.Everyoneelseis,butI’mnot.”Sheplacedherhandonmychest.
Mistakenumberthree.
Hergasphadn’tfullyleftherthroatbeforeIspunheraroundandbentheroverthenearbydresser,onehandgrippingherchinandforcingherheadbackwhiletheotherclosedaroundherthroat.Mycockpressedintoherass,hardandangry.
I’dbeenonedgeallnight.Hell,I’dbeenonedgefortwoyears.ThemomentBridgetvonAschebergenteredmylife,I’dbeenonacountdowntodestruction,andtonightmightjustbethenighteverythingwenttohell.
“Youshouldbe,princess.Youwannaknowwhy?”Igrowled.“Becauseyou’reright.Idowantyou.ButIdon’twanttokissormakelovetoyou.Iwanttofuckyou.Iwanttopunishyouformouthingoffandlettinganothermanputhishandsonyou.Iwanttoyankupthattinyfuckingdressofyoursandpoundintoyousohardyouwon’tbeabletowalkfordays.Iwantallthosethings,eventhoughIcan’thavethem.Butifyoudon’tstoplookingatmelikethat…”Itightenedmygriponherchinandthroat.Shestaredatmeinthemirror,herlipspartedandhereyesdarkwithheat.“Imighttakethemanyway.”
Theywereharsh,bitterwords,drenchedwithequalpartslustandanger.Theyweremeanttoscareheroff,butBridgetlookedanythingbutscared.Shelookedaroused.
“So,doit,”shesaid.Istilled,myhandflexingaroundherthroatasmycockthreatenedtopunchaholethroughmypants.“Fuckmethewayyoujustpromised.”15Rhys
HearingthewordfuckleaveBridget’smouthinthatposh,propervoiceofhers…
Ittookeveryounceofself-controlIhadnottodowhatI’dsaidIwoulddo.Whatshe’daskedmetodo.
ButeventhoughIwantednothingmorethantothrowcautiontothewindandsayfuckit,I’dgiveherexactlywhatwebothcraved,Ididn’t.Bridgetwasstilldrunk.Maybenotasdrunkasshe’dbeenhalfanhourago,butintoxicatedenoughtohavecompromisedjudgment.
Ihadnoclueifthiswasherorthealcoholtalking.Hell,she’dbeenreadytogohomewithVincentHauz,andshehatedhim.
“Thatwasn’tapromise,princess.”Myfingersdugintoherskin.
“Itsoundedlikeonetome.”
Jesus.TemptationwassocloseIcouldalmosttasteit.AllIhadtodowasreachoutand…
Whatthehellareyouthinking,Larsen?myinnerconsciencesnarled.She’syourclient,nottomentionagoddamnedprincess.Getthehellawayfromherbeforeyoudosomethingyouregretevenmorethanwhatyou’redoingnow.
Itdidn’tmattershewasonlymyclientfortwomoreweeks.Shewasstillmyclient,andwe’dalreadyshatteredalmosteveryprofessionalboundarytonight.
“ThisiswhatImeant,”Ibitout,unsurewhoIwasmorepissedat,herorme.“You’reactinglikeadifferentperson.TheBridgetIknowwouldn’tbeaskingherbodyguardtofuckher.Whatthehellisgoingonwithyou?”
Herfacehardened.“Ididn’tsignupforaheart-to-heart,Mr.Larsen.Eitherfuckme,orI’llfindsomeoneelsewhowill.”
SheletoutasmallyelpwhenIbentherfullyoverthedressersoherbodywasataninety-degreeangleandhercheekpressedagainstthewood.
IleaneddownuntilIwassoclose,Iheardhereveryshallow,pantingbreath.“Dothat,”Isaid.“Andyou’llberesponsibleforaman’sslow,bloodydeath.Isthatwhatyouwant,princess?”
Bridget’shandsclenchedintofists.“Youwon’ttouchme,andyouwon’tletanyoneelsetouchme,either.Sotellme,whatthehelldoyouwant,Mr.Larsen?”
You.
Myfrustrationwitheverything,mywholedamnlife,reachedaboilingpoint.“Iwanttoknowwhyyou’vebeenactinglikeanimpulsiveteenagerinsteadofagrown-asswoman!”
BridgetwasthemostlevelheadedpersonIknew.Atleast,shehadbeenbeforeherpersonalitytransplant.
“BecausethisisthelastchanceIhave!”sheyelled.Ihadnever,notonceinthetwoyearsI’dworkedwithher,heardherraisehervoice,anditshockedmeenoughIloosenedmyholdonherandsteppedback.Bridgettwistedoutofmygraspandstraightenedtofaceme,herchestheavingwithemotion.“Ihaveoneweekleft.Oneweekuntil…”
Sudden,icyterrorgrippedme.“Untilwhat?”Idemanded,bilerisinginmythroat.“Areyousick?”
“No.”Bridgetlookedaway.“I’mnotsick.I’mjustgettingtheonethingmostpeopledreamof.”
Confusionchasedawaymybriefflashofrelief.
“ThetitleofCrownPrincess,”sheclarified.Sheslumpedagainstthedresser,herfaceweary.“Beforeyousayit,Iknow.First-worldproblemsandallthat.Therearepeoplestarving,andI’mcomplainingaboutinheritingathrone.”
Myconfusiondoubled.“ButPrinceNikolai…”
“…Isabdicating.Forlove.”Bridgetflashedahumorlesssmile.“Hehadthegalltofallinlovewithacommoner,andforthat,hehastogiveuphisbirthright.BecausethelawforbidsthemonarchofEldorratomarryanyonenotofnobleblood.”
Of,forfuck’ssake.Whatwasthis,theseventeenthcentury?“That’sbullshit.”
“Yes,butit’sbullshitwehavetofollow.Includingme,nowthatI’mnextinlinetothethrone.”
Mymouthcurledintoasmallsnarlatthethoughtofhermarryinganotherman.Itwasirrational,butnothingaboutmyreactionswasrationalwhenitcametoher.BridgetcouldwipeawayeverysenseoflogicandproprietyIhad.
Shecontinued,oblivioustomyturmoil.“Thepalaceismakingtheofficialannouncementnextweek.I’mnotsupposedtotellanyoneuntilthen,whichiswhyIhaven’tsaidanything.”Sheswallowedhard.“Aftertheannouncement,I’llofficiallybetheheirtothethrone,andmylifewon’tbemineanymore.EverythingIdoandsaywillreflectthecrown,andIcan’tletmyfamilyorcountrydown.”Shetookadeepbreath.“That’swhyI’vebeengoingalittle…crazylately.Iwanttosavorbeingnormalforthelasttime.Relativelyspeaking.”
IwassilentasIdigestedherbombshell.
Bridget,thefutureQueenofEldorraHolyshit.
Shewasrightinthatmostwomenwouldkilltotradeplaceswithher.ButBridgetwasthegirlwhoonceranoutinthemiddleofathunderstormanddancedintherain.WhospentherfreetimevolunteeringatananimalshelterandwouldratherstayhomewatchingTVandeatingicecreamthanattendafancyparty.
Toher,becomingqueenwasn’tadream;itwasherworstnightmare.
“Itwasneversupposedtobeme.Iwasthespare.”Bridgetblinked,hereyesbrightwithunshedtears.Mychestsqueezedatthesight.“Itwasneversupposedtobeme,”sherepeated.
Igraspedherchinandtiltedituntilshewaslookingatme.“You’realotofthings,princess.Stubborn,infuriating,apaininmyasshalfthetime.ButIpromiseyou,you’renotaspareanything.”
Sheletoutaweaklaugh.“Thatmightbethenicestthingyou’veeversaidtome.”
“Don’tgetusedtoit.”
Anothersmalllaugh,onethatfadedasquicklyasithadcome.“WhatamIgoingtodo?”Bridgetwhispered.“I’mnotready.Idon’tthinkI’lleverbeready.”
“You’reBridgetvonAscheberg,”Isaid.“You’llbeready.”
Bridgetexcelledateverythingshedid,andbeingqueenwouldbenoexception.
“Inthemeantime…”IhopedIdidn’tregretwhatIwasabouttosay.“You’regoingtoliveyourlifethewayyouwant.Aslongasitdoesn’tinvolveVincentfuckingHauz.”
IfIeversawthatfuckeragain,Iwouldbreakeveryboneinhisbodyjustfortouchingherandoccupyingspaceinherthoughts.Hedidn’tdeserveanyinchofher.
Bridgetbrightenedabit.“Doesthatmeanyou’llfuckme?”
Definitelystilldrunk.
Igroaned,wellawareoftheerectionthathadn’twanedatallthisentiretime.“No,princess.That’snotagoodidea.”
Shefrowned.“Butit’sonmybucketlist.”
Oh,Jesus.Iwasalmostafraidtoask,but…“Youhaveabucketlist?”
Bridgetnodded.“ForbeforeIreturntoEldorra.”Shetickedofftheitemsonherfingers.“One,gosomeplacewherenooneknowsorcareswhoIam.Two,eatandreadandsunbathealldaywithouthavingtoworryaboutaneventlaterorwakingupearlythenextday.Three,doanadrenalinerushactivitymygrandfatherwillyellatmefor,likebungeejumping.Andfour,haveanorgasmIdidn’tgivemyself.”Hershouldersslumped.“It’sbeenawhile.”
Fuck.NowthementalimageofBridgetgivingherselfanorgasmwouldforeverbeetchedinmymind.
Iscrubbedahandovermyface.HowthehelldidIgetmyselfintothissituation?ThenighthadgonesofarofftherailsIcouldn’tseethetracksanymore.
“Oneisprobablyoffthetable,”Bridgetsaid.“Butyoucanhelpmewithfour.”
Shewasgoingtoachievesomethingneithermymothernorthemilitaryhad.Shewasgoingtokillme.
“Gotobed,”Isaidinastrainedvoice.“Alone.You’redrunk,andit’slate.”
Bridgetstaredatmygroin,wheremyobviousarousaltentedmypants.“But—”
“No.”Ineededtogetoutofthere.Stat.“Nobuts.You’llthankmeinthemorning.”
Beforeshecouldprotestfurther,Ileftandheadedstraighttomybathroom,whereItooktheworld’slongest,coldestshower.Itdidnothingtoslaketheheatofmyarousal.NeitherdidfistingmycockuntilIreachedawhollyunsatisfyingorgasm.
Onlyonethingcouldtaketheedgeoffmyfrustration,andI’dturneditdownlikeanidiot.
Ishutoffthefaucetanddriedmyself,resignedtoasleeplessnight.
Meanwhile,theterribleideathathadbeenbrewinginthebackofmymindsinceBridgettoldmeaboutherbucketlistwouldn’tgoaway.Instead,itsoundedmoreandmorelikeagoodidea.
Itwascrazyandpossiblydangerous.Ihadnotimetoprepare,anditwentagainstallmytrainingandprotectiveinstincts.
ButIcouldn’tgetBridget’ssadeyesorwordsoutofmind.
Iwanttosavorbeingnormalforthelasttime.
“I’mgoingtoregretthis,”ImutteredasIsteppedoutofthebathroomandflippedopenmylaptop.
Itdidn’tmatter.
BecauseasmuchasIwantedBridgetsafe,Iwantedherhappymore.16Bridget
Wasitpossibletodieofhumiliation?
Forty-eighthoursago,Iwould’vesaidno,butasIatebreakfastacrossthetablefromRhys,Ifoundmyselffirmlyintheyescamp.Iwouldeitherexplodefromhowredmyfacewasormeltintoapuddleofmortification,whichevercamefirst.
“Morebacon?”Hepushedtheplateinmydirection.
Ishookmyhead,unabletomeethiseye.
Iwokeupthatmorningwithapoundingheadache,throbbingheatbetweenmylegs,andahorrificallyclearmemoryofthethingsI’ddone—andsaid—lastnight.
Fuckmethewayyoujustpromised.
Four,haveanorgasmIdidn’tgivemyself.It’sbeenawhile.
Ichokedonmytoastandbrokeintoacoughingfit.
Rhys’seyebrowsrose.“Youokay?”He’dbeencoolandcalmallmorning,likenothinghadhappened,andIwasn’tsurewhetherIwasrelievedoroffended.
“Yes,”Igasped.Igrabbedmywateranddownedhalfofituntilthecoughssubsided.
“Youshouldeatmorecarbs,”hesaidmildly.“Mighthelpwiththehangover.”
“HowdoyouknowIhaveahangover?”
“Youhadfiveshotslastnight,allcontainingdifferentliquors.It’sasafeguess.”
Hisacknowledgmentthatanypartoflastnighthappenedonlyintensifiedmyembarrassment.IwishedIcouldwipealltheeventspost-Borgiafrombothourminds.
SinceIcouldn’t,IwastemptedtoplayitoffandpretendIdidn’trememberwhathappened,butIdidremember,andifIdidn’taddressit,itwouldhauntmeforever.
“Listen.Aboutlastnight…”IforcedmyselftolookatRhys.“Iwasdrunkandnotthinkingclearly,andIsaidsomethingsIshouldn’thavesaid.I’msorryifitmadeyouuncomfortable.”
SomethingakintodisappointmentflickeredacrossRhys’sfacebeforeitdisappeared.“SodidI,”hesaid.“Calliteven.”
Idon’twanttokissormakelovetoyou.Iwanttofuckyou.Iwanttopunishyouformouthingoffandlettinganothermanputhishandsonyou.Iwanttoyankupthattinyfuckingdressofyoursandpoundintoyousohardyouwon’tbeabletowalkfordays.
Abeadofsweatpoppedoutonmybrow.Ishiftedonmystool,tryingtoeasethethrobbinginmyclit,butitonlymadethingsworse.
Ishouldn’thavesaidthethingsI’dsaid,butthatdidn’tmeanIhadn’tmeantthem.WhenRhyshadmebentoverthedresserwithhiscockpressedagainstme…
Igulpeddowntherestofmywatertoeasetheheatflamingacrossmyskin.
“Inthatcase,thebestpathforwardistopretendlastnightdidn’thappenandneverspeakofitagain.”
Ireallyneededmorewater.Andairconditioning.Andpossiblyanicebath.
“Finebyme.”Rhysleanedagainstthecounterandrestedonehandonthecountertopwhilesippingcoffeefromthemuginhisotherhand.Itwasacasual,everydaymovementthathadnobusinessbeingashotasitwas.“Exceptforonething.”
Oh,God.“Andthatwouldbe…?”
“Yourbucketlist.”Thosegunmetaleyesdrilledintome.“YoureallywanttodoallthosethingsbeforegoingbacktoEldorra?”
NotwhatI’dexpectedhimtosay.
IbreathedasighofreliefbeforeIrememberedbucketlistnumberfourandblushedalloveragain.“Yes,butmostofitprobablyisn’tpossible.”
Itwasmoreafantasylistthanabucketlist.IknewthatwhenIcameupwiththeitems,butagirlcouldhope.
“WhatifItoldyoutheywere?”Rhysplacedhismuginthesinkbeforeturningtofacemeagain.
“I’dsayyouwerebullshittingme.”
Hismouthcurledupintoasmallgrin,andtinglesracedacrossmyskin.Rhysdidn’tsmileoften,butwhenhedid,itwasdevastating.
“Alwaysnicetohearyoucurse,princess.”
Fuckmethewayyoujustpromised.
Thememorymust’vecrossedmymindatthesametimeitdidhis,becausehissmilefadedandhiseyesheatedwhileIsankalittlelowerinmychair.
“No,I’mnotbullshittingyou,”hesaid,hisvoicerougherthanithadbeenasecondago.“Icanmakeyourbucketlisthappenifyouwantmeto.”
Iwasn’tbraveenoughinthelightofdaytoaskhimifthatincludednumberfour.
“Whywouldyoudothat?”
“It’smygooddeedfortheyear.”
Typicalnon-answerfromRhys,butintrigueedgedoutmyannoyance.
“Okay,I’llbite,”Isaid.“Whatdoyouhaveinmind?”
“Nowhat,where.”Rhyssmiledagainatmysurprise.“We’regoingtoCostaRica.”17Bridget
Twodayslater,welandedinCostaRicalikeRhyshadpromisedanddrovetwohoursfromtheairporttoasmalltownonthePacificcoast.
Istaredoutthewindowatthecountry’slushlandscape,myheadspinningfromhowfasteverythinghadmoved.Icouldn’tbelieveRhys,Mr.SafetyandSecurityhimself,wastheonewhosuggestedalast-minutetrip,butIwasn’tcomplaining.Ihadn’tvisitedCostaRicabefore,andfourdaysinatropicalparadisesoundedlike,well,paradise.
We’dfinishedpackingthetownhouse,andI’dturnedinmykeysthatmorning.EverythingelseIneededtodo,Icoulddoonline.Iwas,forallintentsandpurposes,freeuntilwereturnedtoNewYork.
“Thisisit.”Rhyspulledupinfrontofasprawling,two-storyvilla.“Bucketlistnumberone.”
GosomeplacewherenooneknowsorcareswhoIam.
Thatwasdefinitelythecasehere.Thehousewasnestledhighinthehillsandtheonlyresidencearound.HowhadRhysevenfoundthisplace?
Mychesttightenedwithemotionasweunpackedoursuitcasesfromthebackofourrentalcarandwalkedtowardtheentrance.“Howdidyoupulleverythingtogethersofast?”
Rhyswouldneverletmegoanywherewithoutdoingtheproperadvanceworkfirst,butithadonlybeenforty-eighthourssinceItoldhimaboutmylist.Forhimtohaveresearchedthetown,bookedthecharterjetandvilla,andhandledthemillionsofdetailsthatcamewithroyaltravelinsuchashorttime…
“Icheatedabit,”headmitted,unlockingthefrontdoor.“AnoldNavybuddyofminemoveddownhereacoupleofyearsagoandownsthisplace.He’sonvacationrightnowandletmeborrowitforafewdays.Ivisiteveryyear,soIknowthetownandpeoplewell.It’ssafe.Quiet.Undertheradar.”
“ExactlywhatIneed,”Imurmured.Thetightnessinmychestintensified.
Rhysshowedmearoundthevilla.Thewallswereallglass,offeringgorgeousthree-hundred-sixtyviewsofthesurroundinghillsandthePacificOceaninthedistance.Everythingwasopen,airy,andmadeofnaturalstoneandwood,andthehouse’sdesignmadeitseemlikeitwasflowingintoitssurroundingsinsteadofdominatingthem.Myfavoritefeature,however,wastheinfinitypoolonthesecond-floorterrace.Fromacertainangle,itlookedlikeitfedstraightintotheocean.
Rhys,beingRhys,alsowalkedmethroughthesecuritysetup.Tinted,bulletproofglassallaround,state-of-the-artmotionsensors,anundergroundpanicroomstockedwithayear’ssupplyoffood.ThatwasallIgatheredbeforeIzonedout.
Iappreciatedthesecuritymeasures,butIdidn’tneedadetailedbreakdownofthemakeandmodelofthesecuritycameras.Ijustwantedtoeatandswim
“Remindmetosendyourfriendabigthankyou,”Isaid.“Thisplaceisincredible.”
“Helovesshowingitoff,usuallybylettingpeoplestayhere,”Rhyssaiddryly.“ButI’lltellhim.”
Itwasalreadyclosetotwo,sothefirstthingwedidafterwefinishedthetourwaschangeandheadintotownforlunch.Thetownwasatwenty-minutedrivefromthevillaand,accordingtoRhys,hometolessthanathousandpeople.NotasingleoneofthemseemedtoknoworcarewhoIwas.
Bucketlistnumberone.
Weateatasmall,family-runrestaurantwhoseowner,around-facedolderwomannamedLuciana,litupatthesightofRhys.Shesmotheredhimwithkissesbeforeembracingmetoo.
“Ay,quebonita!”sheexclaimed,lookingmeover.“Rhys,estunovia?”Howbeautiful!Rhys,issheyourgirlfriend?
“No,”RhysandIsaidatthesametime.Weglancedateachotherbeforeheclarified,“Sólosomosamigos.”We’rejustfriends.
“Oh.”Lucianalookeddisappointed.“Oneday,you’llbringagirlfriend,”shesaidinEnglish.“Maybeit’llbeyou.”Shewinkedatmebeforeusheringustoatable.
Iblamedmyblushontheheat.
Insteadoforderingoffthemenu,RhystoldmetotrustLuciana’sjudgment,andIwasgladwedidexactlythatwhenthefoodcameouttwentyminuteslater.Olladecarne,arrozconpollo,platanosmaduros…allsodeliciousIwouldbegLucianafortherecipeshadIhadanykitchenskillsbeyondscramblingeggsandmakingcoffee.
“Thisisincredible,”Isaidafterswallowingamouthfulofchickenandrice.
“Lucimakesthebestfoodintown.”
“Yes,butthat’snotwhatImeant.Imeantthis.”Igesturedatmysurroundings.“Thetrip.Thewholething.Youdidn’thavetodothis.”
EspeciallysinceRhyswaspayingforeverythingoutofpocket.Iassumedhisfriendlethimborrowthevillaforfree,buttheflight,thecarrental…theyallcostgoodmoney.I’dofferedtoreimbursehim,buthe’drespondedwithsuchadarkglareIhadn’tbroughtitupagain.
“Consideritmygoodbyepresent,”Rhyssaid,notlookingupfromhisplate.“Twoyears.Figureditwasworthatrip.”
Thechickenthathadbeensodeliciousasecondearlierturnedtoashinmymouth.
Right.Ialmostforgot.Rhysonlyhadtwoweeksleftasmybodyguard.
Istabbedatmyfood,myappetitegone.“Doyouhaveanewclientalreadylinedup?”Iaskedcasually.
Whoeveritwas,IalreadyhatedthemforgettingabeginningwithRhysinsteadofanending.
Rhysrubbedahandoverthebackofhisneck.“I’mtakingashortbreak.MaybeI’llcomebacktoCostaRica,orheadtoSouthAfricaforabit.”
“Oh.”Istabbedharderatmychicken.“Soundsnice.”
Great.He’dbeplayingworldtravelerwhileIwasattendingqueenlessonsatthepalace.Maybehe’dmeetsomebeautifulCostaRicanorSouthAfricangirlandthey’dspendtheirdayssurfingandhavingsex—
Stopit.
“Whataboutyou?”Rhysasked,histonealsocasual.“Knowwhoyournewguardisyet?”
Ishookmyhead.“IaskedforBooth,buthe’salreadyassignedtosomeoneelse.”
“Funny.Ithoughtthey’dbemoreaccommodating,consideringyou’rethecrownprincess.”Rhyscuthischickenwithalittlemoreforcethannecessary.
“I’mnotcrownprincessyet.Anyway,let’stalkaboutsomethingelse.”Ourconversationwasdepressingme.“Whatfunthingsaretheretodoaroundhere?”
Theanswerwas,notmuch.Afterlunch,RhysandIwalkedthroughtown,whereIpickedupsomesouvenirsformyfriends.Wecheckedoutanartgalleryfeaturinglocalartists,tookacafebreakwhereIhadthebestcoffeeI’devertasted,andshoppedforgroceriesatthefarmer’smarket.
Itwasasimple,ordinaryday,filledwithmundaneactivitiesandnothingparticularlyexciting.
Itwasperfect.
Bythetimewereturnedtothevilla,Iwasreadytopassout,butRhysstoppedmebeforeIcouldcrash.“Ifyoucanstayupawhilelonger,there’ssomethingyoushouldsee.”
Curiositywonoutoverexhaustion.
“Thisbetterbegood.”Ifollowedhimoutontotheterraceandsankontooneofthewickerchairsbythepool,whereIstifledayawn.“IgetcrankywhenIdon’tgetenoughsleep.”
“Trustme,Iknow.”Rhyssmirked.“Goodofyoutoadmititthough.”
Iwatchedasheturnedoffallthelights,includingtheoutdoorfloodlights.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Heneverturnedoffallthelightsuntilrightbeforehewenttobed.
Hesatdownnexttome,andIspottedaflashofhisteethinthedarknessbeforeheangledhischinup.
“Lookup,princess.”
Idid.AndIgasped.
Thousandsuponthousandsofstarssplashedacrosstheskyaboveus,sonumerousanddenselypackedtheyresembledapaintingmorethanreallife.
TheMilkyWay,rightthereinallitssprawling,glitteringglory.
Ithadn’toccurredtomewecouldseeitsoclearlyhere,butitmadesense.Wewerehighinthehills,milesawayfromthenearestbigcity.Therewasnooneandnothingaroundexceptus,thesky,andthenight.
“Ithoughtyoumightlikeit,”Rhyssaid.“It’snotsomethingyouseeinNewYorkorAthenberg.”
“No.It’snot.”Emotiongrippedmychest.“Andyouwereright.Iloveit.Worthstayingpastmybedtimeandgettingcrankyfor.”
Hislowchucklesettledinmybellyandwarmedmefromtheinsideout.
Westayedoutsideforanotherhour,juststaringattheskyandsoakinginthebeauty.
Ilikedtothinkmyparentswereupthere,watchingoverme.
IwonderedifI’dturnedoutthewaythey’dhoped,andiftheywereproud.IwonderedwhattheywouldsayaboutNikolai’sabdication,andwhethermymotherknewIwastheonewhoshould’vediedthatdayinthehospital,nother
Sheshould’vebeenqueen,notme.
Atleastsheandmyfatherweretogether.Theywereoneoftheluckycoupleswhostartedoffinanarrangedmarriageandendedupfallinginlove.Myfatherhadneverbeenthesameaftermymom’sdeath,orsoeveryonetoldme.I’dbeentooyoungtoknowthedifference
Sometimes,Iwonderedifhe’dlostcontrolofhiscaronpurposesohecouldjoinhersooner.
IturnedmyheadtolookatRhys.MyeyeshadadjustedtothedarkenoughthatIcouldmakeoutthetinybumpinhisnoseandthefirmcurveofhislips.
“Haveyoueverbeeninlove?”Iasked,partlybecauseIreallywantedtoknow,andpartlybecauseIwantedtopullmythoughtsoffthemorbidpaththey’dtaken.
“Nope.”
“Really?Never?”
“Nope,”Rhyssaidagain.Hecockedaneyebrow.“Surprised?”
“Alittle.You’reold.Youshould’vebeeninloveatleastthreetimesbynow.”Hewastenyearsolderthanme,whichwasn’tthatoldatall,butIlikedteasinghimwhenIcould.
Adeep,richsoundfilledtheair,andIrealizedwithshockRhyswaslaughing.Thedeepest,loudest,realestlaughI’dpulledoutofhimyet.
Itwasbeautiful.
“Oneloveforeverydecade,”Rhyssaidwhenhismirthfaded.“Bythatcalculation,youshould’vebeeninlovetwicebynow.”Theintensityofhisstarepiercedthroughthedarkness.“Sotellme,princess.Haveyoueverbeeninlove?”
“No.”Ireturnedmyattentiontothestars.“ButIhopetobeoneday.”18Bridget
Wespentfourglorious,perfectdaysinCostaRica.
Iwokeuplate,wenttobedlate,andspentmydayseating,sunbathing,andreadingaromancenovelI’dpickedupattheairport.Bucketlistnumbertwo.
Onourthirdday,RhysdroveustwohourstoMonteverdeforziplining.Hesaidthecompanywasthebestintheareaandhe’dzip-linedwiththemseveraltimeshimself.
Still,hisfacewastautwithtensionasIpreparedtogodownthelongestzipline.We’donlydonetheshortercablesuntilnow,andtheywerefun,butIwasreadyformore.
TheoneIwasabouttogetonstretchedhighabovethecloudforest,solongIcouldn’tseetheotherendofit.Amixtureofexcitementandnervestwistedinmystomach.
“Checkheragain,”Rhyssaidafterourguidegavemethethumbsup.
Noonebotheredarguing.Rhysmadetheguidetriple-checkmyharnessbeforeIwentdowneveryline,andarguingwasfutile.
“Ifyougetstuck,don’tpanic,”Rhyssaidaftertheguideokayedme—again.“We’llcomegetyou.”
“By‘we’ll,’hemeansme,”theguidejoked.“Butyes,wewillcomegetyou.Don’tworry,miss.”
“Ihadn’tthoughtaboutgettingstuckuntilnow,sothankyouforthat,”Isaidwryly.
Rhys’ssternexpressiondidn’tbudge,butallthoughtsofhisgrumpinessdisappearedwhenIgotintoposition.Theguidegavemeapush,andIfinallyraceddowntheline.Thewindwhippedthroughmyhair,andIcouldn’tholdbackahugegrin.
Ziplininglookedscaryfromtheground,butonceIwasintheair?Itwasexhilarating.
Iclosedmyeyes,savoringthewindandthefeelingofbeingawayfromitall.Noworries,noresponsibilities,justmeandnature.
WhenImadeittothenexttreetopplatform,Iwasstillridinghighfromthezipline,andIcouldn’tresistteasingRhysagainwhenhelandedshortlyafterme.
“See?I’mfine,”Isaid.“Youdidn’thavetopickuppiecesofmefromtheground.”
Hedidnotlookamusedatall,butIdidn’tcare.
Bucketlistnumberthree,check.
Forallhisoverprotectiveness,Rhyswasmorerelaxeddownhere.Notfullyrelaxed,mindyou,buthe’dditchedhisall-blackoutfitsforshortsand—gasp—whiteT-shirts,andheagreedtomostoftheactivitiesIwantedtodowithminimalcomplaint,includingparasailingandanATVtour.
Theonethingherefusedtodo,however,wasgetinthepoolwithme,andonourlastnight,Imadealast-ditchefforttochangehismind.
“I’veneverheardofaNavySEALwhodoesn’tswim.”Isteppedontotheterrace,whereRhyswasdrawinginhissketchbook.Hehadn’tshownmeanyofhissketchesyet,andIhadn’tasked.Artwasdeeplypersonal,andIdidn’twanttoforcehimtoshowmeanythingifhedidn’twantto.“Comeon.It’sourlastday,andyouhaven’ttakenadvantageofthisonce.”Isweptmyarmatthegleamingpool.
“It’sapool,princess.”Rhysdidn’tlookupfromhisbook.“I’vebeeninpoolsbefore.”
“Proveit.”
Noanswer.
“Fine.IguessI’llswimbymyself.Again.”Ishruggedoffmycover-upandletthefilmywhitematerialcascadetothefloorbeforeIwalkedpastRhystowardthewater.
Imayhavewalkedmoreslowlythannormalandaddedanextraswaytomyhips.
Imayalsohavewornmyskimpiest,mostscandalousbikini.Idid,afterall,haveonemorebucketlistitemtocheckoff.
I’dbeendrunkwhenI’dtoldRhysaboutmybucketlist,butIwassobernow,andIstillwantedhimtohelpmefulfillitemnumberfour.
Iwasattractedtohim;hewasattractedtome.Thatmuchwasobviousafterwhathappenedinmyroompost-Borgia.Hewasn’tgoingtobemybodyguardmuchlonger,andnoonewouldknowunlesswetoldthem.
Onewild,passionatehookupwithmysexybodyguardbeforeItookonthedutyofalifetime.Wasthattoomuchtoask?
IwadedintothepoolandbitbackasmilewhenIfelttheheatofRhys’sgazeonmyskin,butIdidn’tturnarounduntilI’dreachedthefaredgeofthewater.BythetimeIlookedathim,Rhys’sheadwasbentoverhissketchbookagain,buthisshouldersheldatensionthathadn’tbeentherebefore.
“Areyousureyoudon’twanttojoinme?”Icajoled.“Thewaterfeelsamazing.”
“I’mgood,”hesaidcurtly.
Isighedandletitgo…fornow.
Whilehesketched,Iswamlapsaroundthepool,revelinginthewateragainstmyskinandthesunshineonmyback.
WhenIfinallycameupforabreak,itwasnearsunset,andthewarmthofgoldenhourcastahazy,dreamlikeglowoverthesurroundings.
“Lastchance,Mr.Larsen.”Islickedmyhairbackandblinkedthewateroutofmyeyes.“Swimnoworforeverholdyourpeace.”
Itwascheesy,butitmadeRhys’slipscurvebeforetheyflattenedintoasternlineagain.“YougonnastopbuggingmeifIsayno?”
Igrinned.“Probablynot.”
Myheartjumpedwhenheclosedhisbook,setitonthetable,andstood.
Ihadn’texpectedhimtogivein.
Rhyswalkedtothepool,pullinghisshirtoverhisheadashedidso,andIlosttheabilitytobreathe.
Broadshoulders,perfectlysculptedmuscles,absonecouldgratecheeseon.Absolutemasculineperfection.
Mycorepulsedasmyeyesatehimup.Tattoosswirledacrosshischest,bothbiceps,andonesideofhisribcage,andadeepVcutarrowedtowardwhat—basedonwhatI’dfeltwhenhe’dbentmeovermydresser—wasaveryimpressivepackage.
Rhysenteredthewaterandswamtowardme,hisbig,powerfulbodyslicingthroughtheliquidblueasgracefullyasadolphin.
“There.I’minthepool.”Hecameupbesideme,alockofdampdarkhairfallingoverhiseye,andIresistedtheurgetopushitoutofhisface.“Happy?”
“Yes.Youshouldgoshirtlessmoreoften.”
Rhys’seyebrowsshotup,andmycheeksflamedbeforeIquicklyamended,“Youseemmorerelaxedthatway.Lessintimidating.”
“Princess,it’smyjobtobeintimidating.”
IfIneverheardthewordsit’smyjobagain,itwouldbetoosoon.
“YouknowwhatImean,”Igrumbled.“You’realwayssoonedgeinthecity.”
Heshrugged.“That’swhathappenswhenyouhaveC-PTSD.”
ComplexPTSD.I’dlookeditupafterhetoldmehehadit.Symptomsincludedhyper-vigilance,orbeingconstantlyonguardforthreats.UnlikeregularPTSD,whichwascausedbyasingulartraumaticevent,complexPTSDresultedfromlong-lastingtraumathatcontinuedformonthsorevenyears.
Myheartsqueezedatthethoughtofwhathemust’vegonethroughtobediagnosedwiththecondition.“Doesthearthelp?”
“Kindof.”Rhys’sfacewasunreadable.“ButIhaven’tbeenabletodrawanythinginmonths.”Hejerkedhischintowardthetable.“Iwasjustmessingaround.SeeingwhatIcameupwith.”
“Whenyoudo,Iwanttoseeit.Iloveagoodsecurityalarmsketch,”IjokedbeforeIrememberedweonlyhadoneweeklefttogether.
Mysmilefaded.
Rhyswatchedmeclosely.“Ifthat’swhatyouwant.”
Iwantedalotofthings,butnoneofthemhadtodowithart.“CanItellyousomething,Mr.Larsen?”
Hedippedhishead.
“I’mgoingtomissyou.”
Hewentstill,sostillIthoughthedidn’thearme.Then,inanuncharacteristically,achinglysoftvoice,hesaid,“I’mgoingtomissyoutoo,princess.”
Sodon’tgo.Therehadtobeawayhecouldstay.Hewasn’tpartoftheRoyalGuard,buthe’dbeenwithmefortwoyears.Ididn’tseewhyIhadtochangeguardsjustbecauseIwasmovingbacktoEldorra.
Exceptfor,ofcourse,thefactRhyswouldhavetomovetoEldorrawithme.Hemayhavelivedwithmeallthistime,buttherewasadifferencebetweenlive-inprotectionintheU.S.andmovingtoadifferentcountryforanindeterminatelengthoftime.Plus,he’dresignedfirst.
EvenifIconvincedthepalacetoextendhiscontract,wouldhebewillingtoaccepttheoffer?
I’dbeentooafraidtoaskincasehesaidno,buttheclockwasticking.
AloudpopwentoffinthedistancebeforeIcouldbroachthesubject,andRhysturnedsharplytoseefireworksexplodeinthesky.
Herelaxed.Ididn’t,becauseIfinallyunderstoodwhyhe’dnevertakenhisshirtoffaroundmebefore.
Hisback—hisstrong,beautifulback—wascoveredwithscars.Theycrisscrossedhisskininangry,near-whiteslashes,pepperedwithafewroundmarksIwaspositivewerecigaretteburnscars.
JudgingbythewayRhys’sshoulderstensed,hemust’verealizedhismistake,buthedidn’thidethemagain.Therewasnopoint.I’dalreadyseenthem,andwebothknewit.
“Whathappened?”Iwhispered.
Therewasalongsilencebeforeheresponded.“Mymotherlikedherbelt,”hesaidflatly.
Isuckedinabreath,andmystomachlurchedwithnausea.Hismotherdidthattohim?
“Noonesaidordidanything?Teachers,neighbors?”Icouldn’timagineabuseofthatlevelgoingunnoticed.
Rhysshrugged.“TherewereplentyofkidsinbadhomesituationswhereIcamefrom.Someofthemhaditalotworsethanme.Onekidgetting‘disciplined’wasn’tgoingtoraiseanyeyebrows.”
IwantedtocryatthethoughtofyoungRhyssoalonehewasnothingmorethanastatistictothosewhoshould’velookedoutforhim.
Ididn’thatealotofpeople,butIsuddenlyhatedeveryonewhokneworsuspectedwhathe’dbeengoingthroughanddidn’tdoadamnthingaboutit.
“Whywouldshedothis?”Ibrushedmyfingersoverhisback,mytouchsolightitwasbarelyatouch.Hismusclesbunchedbeneathmyfingers,buthedidn’tpullaway.
“Letmetellyouastory,”hesaid.“It’saboutabeautifulyounggirlwhogrewupinasmall,shittytownshe’dalwaysdreamedofescaping.Oneday,shemetamanwhowasintownforafewmonthsforbusiness.Hewashandsome.Charming.Hepromisedhe’dtakeherwithhimwhenheleft,andshebelievedhim.Shefellinlove,andtheyhadapassionateaffair.Butthen,shegotpregnant.Andwhenshetoldthismanwho’dclaimedtoloveher,hegrewangryandaccusedheroftryingtotraphim.Thenextday,hewasgone.Justlikethat.Notraceofwherehewent,anditturnedouteventhenamehegaveherwasfake.Shewasalone,pregnant,andbroke.Nofriendsandparentstohelpherout.Shekeptthebaby,perhapsoutofhopethemanwouldreturnforthemoneday,butheneverdid.Sheturnedtodrugsandalcoholforcomfort,andshebecameadifferentperson.Meaner.Harder.Sheblamedthekidforruiningherchanceathappiness,andshetookoutherangerandfrustrationonhim.Usuallywithabelt.”
Ashespoke,hisvoicesolowIcouldbarelyhearhim,thepiecesfellintoplaceonebyone.WhyRhysrefusedtodrink,whyherarelytalkedabouthisfamilyandchildhood,hisC-PTSD…perhapsitwastheresultofhischildhoodasmuchasithadbeenhismilitaryservice.
Asmallpartofmeempathizedwithhismotherandthepainshemust’vegonethrough,butnoamountofpainjustifiedtakingitoutonaninnocentchild.
“Itwasn’ttheboy’sfault,”Isaid.AtearsliddownmycheekbeforeIcouldstopit.“Ihopeheknowsthat.”
“Heknows,”Rhyssaid.Herubbedmytearawaywithhisthumb.“Don’tcryforhim,princess.He’sallright.”
Forsomereason,thatmademecryharder.ItwasthefirsttimeI’dcriedinfrontofanyonesincemydaddied,andIwould’vebeenembarrassedhadInotbeensoheartbroken.
“Shhh.”Hewipedawayanothertear,hisbrowsdrawnintoadeepfrown.“Ishouldn’thavetoldyou.It’snotthebestwaytoendavacation.”
“No.I’mgladyoudid.”Ireachedupandcoveredhishandwithminebeforehecouldpullaway.“Thankyouforsharingitwithme.Itmeansalot.”
ItwasthemostRhyshadopeneduptomesincewemet,andIwasn’ttakingitforgranted.
“It’sjustastory.”Buthiseyeswerestormywithemotion.
“There’snosuchthingasjustastory.Everystoryisimportant.Includingyours.”Especiallyyours.
Ireleasedhishandandswamaroundtohisback,whereIbrushedmyfingersoverhisskinagainbeforepressingthesmallest,gentlestofkissesononeofthescars.“Isthisokay?”Iwhispered.
Hismusclesbunchedfurther,sotensetheytrembledbeneathmytouch,butherespondedwithatightnod.
Ikissedanotherscar.Thenanother.
EverythingwassilentexceptforRhys’sraggedbreathsandthefaintroaroftheoceaninthedistance.
I’dstoppedcrying,butmyheartstillachedforhim.Forus.Foreverythingwecouldneverbebecausewelivedintheworldwelivedin.
Butrightnow,therestoftheworlddidn’texist,andtomorrowhadn’tcomeyet.
Lastchance.
“Kissme,”Isaidsoftly.
Ashudderrolledthroughhim.“Princess…”Thenicknamecameoutlowandrough.Pained.“Wecan’t.You’remyclient.”
“Nothere.”Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhimandplacedonehandonhischest,wherehisheartpumpedfastandhardbeneathmytouch.“Here,I’mjustme,andyou’rejustyou.Bucketlistnumberfour,Mr.Larsen.Remember?”
“Youdon’tknowwhatyou’reaskingme.”
“Yes,Ido.I’mnotdrunklikeIwasthenightafterBorgia.IknowexactlywhatI’mdoing.”Iheldmybreath.“Thequestionis,doyou?”
Icouldn’tseehisface,butIcouldpracticallyseethewarraginginsidehim.
Hewantedme.Iknewhedid.ButIdidn’tknowwhetherthatwasenough.
Thewaterrippledaroundus.Morefireworksexplodedinthedistance.Andstill,Rhysdidn’tanswer.
JustwhenIthoughthewouldshutmedownandwalkaway,heletoutalowcurse,turned,andyankedmetohim,andIonlyhadtimetodrawaquickbreathbeforehishandfistedmyhairandhismouthcrasheddownonmine.19Rhys
BridgetvonAschebergwouldbethedeathofme.I’dknownthatthemomentI’dseteyesonher,andmypredictionwasplayingoutinrealtimeasIdevouredher.
Thedeathofmyself-control,myprofessionalism,andanysenseofself-preservationIhad.NoneofthatmatteredwhenItastedhowsweetshewasorfelthowperfectlyhercurvesfitinmypalms,likeshewastailor-madeforme.
Twoyearsofwatchingandwaitingandwishing.Ithadallcomedowntothis,anditwasevenbetterthanI’dimagined.
Bridget’sarmswrappedaroundmyneck,herbodypliantbeneathmine.Shetastedlikemintandsugar,andatthatmoment,itbecamemyfavoritetasteintheworld.
Ipushedheragainstthesideofthepoolandtightenedmygriponherhair,mymouthnotleavingherstheentiretime.
Itwasn’tasweetkiss.Itwashard,demanding,andpossessive,borneoutofyearsofpent-upfrustrationandtension,butBridgetmatchedmeinchforinch.Shetuggedonmyhairinreturn,hertonguetanglingwithmineandherlittlemoansgoingstraighttomycock.
“Isthiswhatyouwant?”Ipinchedhernipplethroughherbikinitop.Thatfuckingbikini.Myeyesnearlyfelloutwhenshe’dwalkedpastinherget-upearlier,andIwasgladshe’dneverwornittothebeach.Ifshehad,I’dhavetokilleveryfuckerwholaideyesonher,andtherewereotherthingsI’dratherdoonvacation…liketakemysweettimeexploringeveryinchofherlusciousbody.“Hmm?”
“Yes.”Bridgetarchedintomytouch.“Butmore.Please.”
Igroaned.Definitelythedeathofme.
IgaveheranotherhardkissbeforeIhookedherlegsaroundmywaistandcarriedheroutofthepoolandupthestairstoherroom.ForwhatIhadinmind,Ineededmorethanapoolledgetoworkwith.
Iplacedheronthebed,soakinginhowbeautifulshelooked.Wethair,gleamingskin,faceflushedwitharousal.
Iwantednothingmorethantoburymyselfinsidehersodeepshe’dneverforgetme,buteveninmylust-fueledhaze,Iknewthatwasn’tpossible.
Ifwecrossedthatbridge,Iwouldneverlethergo,anditwouldruinusboth.Ididn’tgiveashitaboutme.Iwasalreadyruined.
ButBridget?Shedeservedmorethanme.
Shedeservedtheworld.
“Bucketlistnumberfour.Tworules,”Isaid,mywordsfilledwithgravel.“One:ifwedothis,itstayshere.Thisroom,thisnight.Wedon’ttalkaboutitagain.Gotit?”
Itwasharsh,butithadtobesaid—forbothoursakes.Otherwise,Icouldalltooeasilylosemyselfinthefantasyofwhatcouldbe,andthatwasmoredangerousthananypredatororenemy.
Bridgetnodded.
“Two:nofucking.”
Confusioncrossedherface.“Butyousaid—”
“Thereareotherwaystomakesomeonecome,princess.”Ipalmedherbreastandsweptmythumboverhernipplebeforetakingasmallstepback.“Nowbeagoodgirlandtakeoffyourbikiniforme.”
Asmallshiverrippledthroughherbody,butshekneltonthebedanddidasIasked,untyingfirstherbikinitopthenherbottomswithagonizingslowness.
JesusChrist.Iwasn’tareligiousman,butiftherewaseveratimetobelieveinGod,itwasnow.
SinceIcouldn’ttouchherwithmyhands—notyet—Icaressedherwithmyeyes.Boldandrough,mygazedraggingfromherfull,firmbreaststothesweetpussyalreadyglisteningwithherwetness.
“Touchyourself,”Iordered.“Letmeseewhatyou’vebeendoingallthosenightswhenyou’realoneinyourroom.”
Adeepblushbloomedacrossherbody,turningivoryintorose,andIwantedtotraceitspathwithmytongue.Markherwithmyteethandtouch.Proclaimtotheworldwhoshebelongedto,whosheshouldbelongto.
Me.
Myfistsclenchedatmysides.
Despiteherblush,Bridgetdidn’ttakehereyesoffmeasshecaressedherbreasts,squeezingandpinchinghernipplesbeforeonehandslidbetweenherlegs.
Soon,shewaswhimperingwithpleasure,hermouthfallingopenandherbreathsturningshallowassherubbedherclitandfingeredherpussy.
Meanwhile,myeyesdevouredherthewayalionwouldtearintoagazelle.Fierce.Ravenous.Destructive.
Mycockwassohardithurt,butIdidn’ttouchit.Notyet.
“Youthinkingofme,princess?”Iaskedsilkily.“Hmm?Areyouthinkingofhowmuchyouwantmetopinyoutothebedandtonguefuckthatsweetlittlecuntuntilyoucomeallovermyface?”
Bridgetwhimperedasherfingersworkedfasteratmyfilthywords.Shewasstillkneeling,herthighstremblingfromherministrations.“M-maybe.”
“It’sayesornoquestion.Tellme,”Igrowled.“Whodoyouthinkaboutwhenyou’refingerfuckingyourtightcunt?”
Bridgetshudderedasherheadtiltedbackandhereyesflutteredclosed.“You.”
“WhatamIdoingtoyou?”
Shemoaned.
Istalkedtothebedandgraspedherchininonehand,forcinghertomeetmygazeagain.“What.Am.I.Doing.To.You.”
“Fuckingme,”shegasped.Iwascloseenoughtosmellherarousalandheartheslicksoundsofherfingersslidinginandoutofhercunt.“WhileI’mbentoverthedresser,andIcanseeyoubehindmeinthemirror.Pullingmyhair.Takingmefrombehind.Fillingmewithyourcock.”
Fuck.Ihadn’tcomeinmypantssinceIwasafreshmaninhighschool,butIwasalreadyclosetoblowingmyload.
“You’vegotafilthymouthforaprincess.”Igrippedherwristwithmyotherhand,forcinghertostill.Bridgetwhinedinprotest,butIdidn’tbreakmyhold.
Icouldtellshewasabouttocome,buttonight,allherorgasmsbelongedtome.
Ipushedherdownonthebedandpinnedherwristsaboveherhead,deftlytyingthemtogetherwiththestringsfromherbikinitop.
“Whatareyoudoing?”AmixtureoftrepidationandanticipationfilledBridget’sface.
“MakingsureIcantakemysweettimewithyou,princess.Nowliebackandletmecheckoffthelastbucketlistitemforyou.”
Icapturedhermouthinanotherkissbeforemovingmywaydownherneck.Collarbones.Shoulders.WhenIreachedherbreasts,Ilickedandsuckedonhernipplesuntilshewaspantingandtryingtowriggleoutofhermakeshiftbindings,buttheknotwastootight.
OneofthemostusefulskillsIlearnedintheNavy?Howtotieagoodknot
ItuggedgentlyonhernipplewithmyteethwhileIpushedonefingerinsideher,thentwo,stretchingherout.
Agroantoreoutofmythroat.“You’redrenched.”
“Please.”Bridget’sskinwashottothetouch.“Ineed…Ineed…”
“Whatdoyouneed?”IkissedmywaydownherstomachuntilIreachedherpussy.IpushedmyfingersdeeperinsideherbeforeIdraggedthemout,thenthrusttheminagain.Enoughtobringhertotheedge,butnotenoughtotipherover.
“Ineedtocome,”shemoaned.“Rhys,please.”
Istilled.“Whatdidyoucallme?”Iliftedmyhead,andshestaredbackatmewithlustandsomethingelseshininginthosegorgeousblueeyes.
“Rhys,”sherepeatedinawhisper.
ThesoundofmynameonherlipsmaybethemostbeautifulthingI’deverheard.
IexhaledasharpbreathbeforeIresumedmyministrations.“You’llcome,princess.ButnotuntilIsayyoucan.”
IloweredmyheadagainandgentlyscrapedmyteethoverherclitbeforeIsuckedonit.Betweenthatandthefingerfucking,shewasdrippingalldownherthighs,andIlappedeverydropuplikeamanstarved.
Sofuckingdelicious.I’dneverbeenaddictedtoanything,butIwasaddictedtothetasteandfeelofherpussy.
Bridgetgroundagainstmyface,hermovementsfranticanddesperate,andherpleadingwhinesgrewlouderthelongerIateherout.
Ifinallytookpityonher,pressingmythumbagainstherclitandcurlingmyfingersuntiltheyhitthespotthatwouldmakehershatter.
“Come,”Iordered.
ThewordbarelyleftmymouthbeforeBridgetarchedoffthebedwithasharpcry.Shecamesolongandhardittookagoodfiveminutesforhertremblestosubside,andthesightofherorgasmingwasalmostenoughtomakemeforgettheruleI’dimposed.
Nofucking.
Iuntiedherandstrokedthefaintredmarkswherethestringshaddugintoherskin.
Bridgetlayinabonelessheaponthebed,butwhenImovedtogetoffthebed,shestoppedme.
“You’reforgettingsomething.”Shestaredattheobviousbulgeinmyshorts.
“Trustme,I’mnotforgettinganything.”Itwashardtoforgetwhenitwassoharditcouldhammernails.
“Thenletmetakecareofthatforyou.”
Isuckedinabreathwhenherfingersbrushedagainstme.“Thatwasn’tpartoftheplan.”
“Theplanchanged.”Bridgetpulleddownmyshorts,hereyeswideningasshetookinmysize.
“Bridget…”Myprotestmorphedintoagroanwhenshewrappedherhandsaroundme.
“Yousaidmyname.”Sheflickedhertongueovertheheadofmycockandlappedupthebeadsofpre-cumbeforeshetookmefullyinhermouth.
Ididn’trespond.Icouldn’t.
Everythinghadceasedtoexistexceptforherwarmtharoundmycock,andIwasprettysureheavenitselfcouldn’tfeelbetterthanthis.
Mybloodcoursedthroughmyveinslikeliquidfire,andmyheartpumpedwithamixtureoflustandsomethingelseI’drathernotnameasItangledmyhandsinBridget’shair.
Sofuckingbeautiful.
Shetriedtofitallofmedownherthroat,butIwastoobigortheangletooawkward.Sheletoutasmall,muffledsoundoffrustration,andIraspedoutalaughbeforeIwithdrewandrepositionedheruntilshelayonherbackagain.
“Tellmeifit’stoomuch.”IslidthetipofmycockacrossherlipsbeforeInudgeditintohermouth.IpausedeveryfewinchestoletheracclimatetomysizeuntilIwasfinally,blissfullyburiedallthewaydownherthroat.
Fuck.Itwasn’toftenIhadtorelyonmyoldtrickofnamingbaseballrostersinmyhead,butrightnow,thoughtsoftheWashingtonNationalsweretheonlythingkeepingmefromcuttingournightshort.
Bridgetchokedandsputtered,hereyeswellingwithtears,andIpulledoutuntiljustthetipremained.
“Toomuch?”
Sheshookherhead,hereyesdarkandeager,andIpushedmyselfinsideheragainwithagroan.
Weworkeduptoarhythm—slowlyatfirst,thenfasterasshegotmorecomfortable.Bridget’ssputtersgraduallyeased,replacedwithmoansthatsenttinyvibrationsshootingupmycock,andshereacheddowntofingerherselfwhileIpinchedandplayedwithhernipples
“That’sit,”Igrowled.“Takeeveryinchdownyourthroatlikeagoodgirl.”
SweatbeadedonmyskinasIdroveinandoutofhermouthuntilIcouldn’ttakeitanymore.Thesilkywarmthofhermouth,thesightofherplayingwithherselfwhileherthroatbulgedaroundmycock…
Myorgasmslammedintomelikefireworksandexplodedbehindmyeyes.Ipulledoutatthelastminuteanderupted,coveringherchestwiththickropesofcum.IcamesofuckinghardIalmostsanktothefloorafterward,andthatneverhappened.Ever.
BythetimeIwasfinished,Bridgethadcomeagaintoo,andthesoundsofourraggedbreathsmixedwiththeheavyscentofsexintheair.
“Wow.”Sheblinked,lookingalittleshellshocked.
Ilaughed,myhead—bothofthem—stillbuzzingfromtheaftershocks.
“Ishouldbetheonesayingthat.”IgaveheraquickkissbeforeIscoopedherupfromthebedandcarriedherintothebathroom.“Let’sgetyoucleanedup,princess.”
Afterourshower,duringwhichIcouldn’tresistfingeringhertoanotherorgasm,Ireplacedthesheetsbeforesettingherbackdownonthebed.Exhaustionandsatisfactionlinedherface,andforonce,sheletmefussoverherwithoutcomplaintasItuckedherbeneaththecoversandsmoothedherhairoutofherface.
“Bucketlistnumberfour.Don’tsayInevergaveyouanything,”Iteased
Bridgetmanagedtoyawnandlaughatthesametime.“Bucketlistnumberfour,”shemurmuredsleepily.“Itwasperfect.”Sheblinkedupatme,herblueeyesalittlesad.“Iwishwecouldstayhereforever.”
Mychestsqueezed.“Metoo,princess.”Igaveheranotherkiss,thesoftestofthenight,andtriedtoetchthetasteandfeelofherinmymemory.
Aftershedriftedoff,Isatandwatchedhersleepforawhile,feelinglikeatotalcreepbutunabletolookaway.Herchestroseandfellwithsteadybreaths,andshehadasmallsmileonherface.Shelookedmorecontentthanshehadinweeks,andIwishedIhadthepowertomakethemomentlastforeverlikeshewanted.
Ifwedothis,itstayshere.Thisroom,thisnight.Wedon’ttalkaboutitagain.
Myrule.OnewehadtofollowbecauseBridgetwasn’tjustmyclient.ShewasthefutureQueenofEldorra,andwiththatcamelayersofcomplicationsandbullshitIhatedbutcouldn’tdoanythingabout.
Isweptmygazeoverheronelasttime,takingineverydetail,beforeIhardenedmyexpressionandleft.
Bucketlistnumberfour.
Nomatterwhatmyheartsaidorwanted,tonightwasafulfillmentofherwishes.
Thatwasallitwas.
Thatwasallitcouldbe.20Bridget
Iwokeupthenextmorningsorebutsmiling.Ihadn’twokenupinsuchagoodmoodinages,andittookmeaminutetorememberwhy.
Bitsandpiecesfromlastnightcamebacktome,slowlyatfirst,thenallatonce,andIblushedwhenIrememberedthefilthythingsI’dsaidanddoneinthisveryroom.
ButIcouldn’tstopsmiling.
Ineedtomakebucketlistsmoreoften.
Ilingeredinbedforawhile,reluctanttobreakthedreamyhazeenvelopingme,butwewereleavingtodayforNewYorkandIneededtogetupsoon.
WhenIdid,Ifoundmytravelclotheslaidoutformeonthedresser,andIrealizedtherestoftheroomwasspotless.Nowaywardshoeslitteringthefloor,nobikinishangingoverthechairormakeupscatteredoverthevanity.
Rhysmust’vefinishedpackingforme.I’dcrashedsohardIhadn’tevenheardhim.
MysuspicionswereconfirmedwhenIwentdowntothelivingroom,whereIfoundhimwaitingnexttoourluggage.GonewerethecasualT-shirtsandboardshortshe’dwornthepastfewdays;intheirplacewashisusualall-blackoutfit.
Ifeltasmallpanginmychest.ImissedVacationRhysalready.
“Goodmorning,YourHighness,”hesaidwithoutlookingupfromhisphone.“Breakfastisreadyinthekitchen.Ourflightisatnoon,soweshouldleaveinthenextforty-fiveminutes.”
Mysmilefaded.YourHighness.Notevenaprincess.
We’dagreedtokeepwhathappenedlastnighttolastnight,butIhadn’texpectedsuchaone-eightysosoon.Rhyswasalmostcoldernowthanwhenwe’dfirstmet.
“Thankyou.”IwassocaughtoffguardIcouldn’tthinkofanythingelsetosay.“Forpackingandbreakfast.”
“You’rewelcome.”
Mygoodmoodfromearlierdrainedaway,butIhidmydisappointmentasIatebreakfastalonewhileRhyscheckedtomakesureeverythinginthehouselookedokaybeforeweleft.
Hesavedthekitchenforlast,maybebecauseIwasinthere.
“Mr.Larsen.”Itdidn’tseemrighttocallhimRhys,giventhechillhangingbetweenus.
“Yes?”Heopenedthenow-emptyfridgeandgaveitacursoryscanbeforeclosingthedoor.
“Ihaveapropositionforyou.”
Hetensed,andIcouldn’tholdbackabittersmile.
“Notthatkindofproposition,”Isaid.“AndbeforeIsayit,Iwantyoutoknow,ithasnothingtodowith…recentevents.”IhopedIwasn’tmakingafoolofmyself,butifIwas,sobeit.IfIwantedsomething,Ineededtovoiceit.Otherwise,IhadnoonetoblameexceptmyselfwhenIwaswrackedwithregretsoverwhat-ifs.“You’reagoodbodyguard,andI’malreadygoingthroughenoughchangeswithNikolai’sabdication.IwouldlikesomeonebymysidewhoI’mcomfortablewithduringthetransition.”
Rhyswassostillheresembledastatue.
“IfIputintherequest,IthinkthepalacewouldbeamenabletoextendingyourcontractuntilI’mmorecomfortableinmynewrole.”Itookadeepbreath.“Itwouldmeanyou’dhavetomovetoEldorratemporarily,andIunderstandifthatwouldbetoomuch.ButIwantedtogiveyoutheoption.Incaseyouwantedtostay.”
Ihadn’tliedwhenI’dsaidithadnothingtodowithlastnight.Theideahadbeenbrewingforweeks,andI’dkeptputtingitoff.Butweweregettingdowntothewire,andifIdidn’tspeakupnow,itwouldneverhappen.
Rhysfinallyblinked.“Whendoyouneedananswerby?”
Ifoughtbackanotherwaveofdisappointment.Ofcourseheneededtothinkaboutit.Itwasahugecommitment.Butstill,I’dthought…
“Withinthenextweek,beforeyourcontractofficiallyends.”
Henodded,hisexpressionneutral.“I’llletyouknowmyanswerbeforetheendoftheweek.Thankyoufortheopportunity.”Rhysleftthekitchen,andIstaredatthespotwherehe’dbeenstanding.
Thatwasit.
Nosmile,nohintastowhetherhewashappyorsurprisedoruncomfortable.JustI’llletyouknowmyanswerbeforetheendoftheweek,likewewerenothingmorethanprofessionalacquaintances
ItriedeatinganotherbiteoftoastbeforeIgaveupandburiedmyfaceinmyhands.
BridgetvonAscheberg,whathaveyoudone?
***
RhysandIdidn’tspeakduringourlongcarridetotheairportortheflightitself.ThingsbetweenusweresostrainedIalmostwishedlastnighthadn’thappened,butIcouldn’tbringmyselftoregretit.
Theaftermathwasn’tpretty,butthemomenthadbeenbeautiful.
Bucketlistnumberfour.
It’dbeensomuchmorethanabucketlistitem,butthatwouldbemysecrettokeep.
“Youdon’thaveto,but…canyoujoinmetomorrow?”IaskedasRhyssetmysuitcasedowninmysuite.We’dlandedinNewYorkafewhoursago,andwewerestayingatThePlazauntilIleftforEldorraintwodays.Nikolaiwouldannouncehisabdicationtomorrow,andIhadmypressconferenceafterthat.Thethoughtmademeslightlysicktomystomach.“Forthespeech.”
Forthefirsttimethatday,Rhys’sfacesoftened.“Ofcourse,princess.”
ItwasfunnyhowmuchI’dhatedthenicknameatfirst,butnowitmademyheartflutter.
Laterthatnight,Itriedtosleep,butmymindracedwithamillionthoughtsandworries.CostaRica,Rhys,whetherhewouldstayonasmybodyguard,thepublic’sreactiontoNikolai’sabdicationandengagementtoSabrina,mygrandfather’shealth,mydebutascrownprincess,mymovebacktoEldorra…
Isqueezedmyeyesshut.Breathe.Justbreathe.
Eventually,Ifellintoarestlesssleep,plaguedbynightmaresofgettingcrushedbeneathagiantcrowninfrontofthepalacewhileeveryonepointedandlaughed.
Thenextmorning,Iwokeupearlierthanplannedtogetreadyformypressconferenceandcoverthedarkcirclesbeneathmyeyeswithmakeup.Iskippedbreakfast,nottrustingmyselftoholdthefooddown,butwhenRhysshowedupatseveno’clocksharpaspromised,heinsistedonorderingeggsandasmoothiefromroomservice.Nocoffee.Hesaiditwouldhelpwithmyanxiety,andsurprisingly,itdid.
Nikolai’sspeechstartedateight,andwewatchedinsilenceasmybrother—cladinhismilitarydressuniform,hisfacetautbutdetermined—deliveredthewordsthatwouldchangeEldorranhistoryforever.
“…IherebyannouncethatIamabdicatingmytitleofCrownPrinceofEldorraandremovingmyselffromtheroyallineofsuccession.Thisdecisiondidnotcomeeasy…”
Theaudience’sgaspswereaudibleeventhroughthescreen,butNikolaiforgedon.
Mostimportantdecisionofmylife…
Myloveforthecountry…
Succeededbymysister,PrincessBridget…
Isatstock-stilltheentiretime.I’dknowntheabdicationwascoming,butitwassurrealtoseeandhearNikolaiannounceiton-screen.
Afterheendedhisspeech,thecameraswitchedtoavisiblystunnednewsanchor,butRhysturnedofftheTVbeforeIheardwhattheanchorhadtosay.
“Doyouneedamoment?”Heradiatedsuchnaturalconfidenceandauthorityitalmostsoothedfrazzlednerves.
Almost.
Ihadmyownpressconferencecomingupsoon,andIwantedtothrowup.
Yes.Preferablyamillionmoments.
“No.”Iclearedmythroatandrepeatedinastrongervoice,“No.Let’sgo.”
Icheckedmyhairandclothesonelasttimebeforeweexitedmysuite.Everythingaroyalfamilymembersaidandworeinpublichadhiddensymbolism,andI’ddressedforbattletodayinasleekChanelsuit,heels,andasubtleruby,gold,anddiamondbroochthatreflectedEldorra’sflagcolors.
Themessage:incontrolandreadytotakeover.
Thereality:acompletemess.
AsRhysandItooktheelevatordowntothelobby,acertainnumbnesssetin,makingtheworldaroundmefuzzy.
Tenthfloor…ninthfloor…eighthfloor…
Mystomachsankfurtherwitheachfloorwepassed.
Whenwereachedthelobby,theelevatordoorsswishedopen,andIsawathickcrowdofreportersclusteredaroundthehotelentrance,heldbackonlybysecurity.Theirshoutingreachedacrescendowhentheysawme,andeveryoneinthelobbyturnedtostareatthesourceofthecommotion.
Me.
I’ddealtwiththepressplentyoftimesinthepast,butthiswasmyfirstencounterwiththemascrownprincess.Itshouldn’tbeanydifferent,butitwas.
Everythingwasdifferent.
Mybreathsturnedshallow.Pinpricksofdarknessdancedattheedgeofvision,andmystepsfaltered.
“Breathe,princess,”Rhyssaidquietly.Somehow,healwaysknew.“Youarethefuturequeen.Don’tletthemintimidateyou.”
Inhale.Exhale.
Hewasright.Icouldn’tstartmyfirstdayinmynewrolescaredandtimid.EvenifallIwantedwastoruntomysuiteandnevercomeoutagain,Ihadresponsibilitiestofulfill.
Icandothis.
IwasthefutureQueenofEldorra.Itwastimetoactlikeit.
Itookadeepbreath,straightenedmyshoulders,andliftedmychin,ignoringthestaresoftheotherhotelguestsasIwalkedtowardtheexitandthebeginningofmynewlife.PartII
21Bridget
Sixweekslater
“HisMajestyisreadytoseeyou.”Markussteppedoutofmygrandfather’soffice,hisfacesopinchedhelookedlikehe’djustswallowedalemonwhole.
“Thankyou,Markus.”Ismiled.Hedidn’tsmileback.Hemerelygaveaquicknodofcourtesybeforehespunonhisheelsandmarcheddownthehall.
Isighed.IfIthoughtmybecomingcrownprincesswouldimprovemyrelationshipwithEdvard’sclosestadvisor,Iwassadlymistaken.Markusseemedmoredispleasedthanever,maybebecausethepresscoverageaftermybrother’sabdicationhad…notbeengreat.
Alsonotgreat?Mynickname:Part-TimePrincess.Apparently,thetabloidsdidnotappreciateallthetimetheirfuturequeenhadspentawayfromEldorra,andtheydelightedinquestioningmycommitmenttothecountryandgeneralsuitabilityforthethroneeverychancetheygot.
Theworstpartwas,theyweren’tcompletelywrong.
“I’llseeyoutomorrowfortheribbon-cutting,”ItoldMikaela,who’daccompaniedmetomymeetingwithElinearlierregardingimagedamagecontrol.
“Soundsgood.”MikaelasnuckapeekatEdvard’shalf-opendoor.“Goodluck,”shewhispered.
Wedidn’tknowwhymygrandfatherwantedtospeaktome,butweknewitwasn’tgood.Hedidn’tsummonmetohisofficeunlessitwasserious.
“Thanks.”Imusteredaweaksmile.
Mikaelahadbeenmybestfriendgrowingupandwascurrentlymyright-handwomanduringmytrainingtobequeen.ThedaughterofBaronandBaronessBrahe,shekneweverythingabouteveryoneinEldorranhighsociety,andI’drecruitedhertohelpmetransitionbackintoAthenbergsociety.Ihadn’tlivedhereinsolongIwascompletelyoutoftheloop,whichwasunacceptableforthefuturequeen.
Ihadn’texpectedhertosayyestosuchabigtask,buttomysurprise,she’dagreed.
Mikaelagavemyarmaquicksqueezebeforeleaving,andIsteeledmyselfasIenteredEdvard’soffice.Itwasahuge,mahogany-paneledroomwithdouble-heightceilings,windowsoverlookingthepalacegardens,andadesklargeenoughtonapon.
Edvard’sfacecrinkledintoasmilewhenhesawme.Helookedfarhealthierthanhehadintheweeksfollowinghiscollapse,andhehadn’tshownanysymptomssincethebigscare,butIstillworriedabouthim.Thedoctorssaidhisconditionwasunpredictable,andeverydayIwokeupwonderingifthatwouldbethelastdayI’dseemygrandfatheralive.
“How’straininggoing?”heaskedafterIslippedintotheseatoppositehim.
“It’sgoingwell.”Islidmyhandsbeneathmythighstotampdownmynerves.“Thoughsomeoftheparliamentarysessionsarequite…”Tedious.Snoozeworthy.SoboringIwouldratherwatchpaintdry.“Verbose.”
Nobodylikedhearingthemselvestalkmorethanaministerwhohadthefloor.Itwasamazinghowlittleonecouldsayusingsomanywords.
Unfortunately,amonarch’sdutiesincludedattendingparliamentarysessionsatleastonceaweek,andmygrandfatherthoughtitwouldbeusefulformetogetacquaintedwiththeprocessnow.
EversinceIreturnedtoEldorra,mydayshadbeenjam-packedwithmeetings,events,and“queenlessons”fromthemomentIwokeuptothemomentIwenttosleep.Ididn’tmind,though.ItkeptmymindoffRhys.
Dammit.Mychestsqueezed,andIforcedmyselftopushasideallthoughtsofmyoldbodyguard.
Edvard’schucklebroughtmebacktothepresent.“Adiplomaticwayofputtingit.Parliamentisadifferentbeastthanwhatyou’reusedto,butitisanessentialpartofgovernment,andasQueen,you’llneedagoodrelationshipwiththem…whichbringsmetowhyIaskedyouheretoday.”Hepaused,thensaid,“Actually,therearethreethingsIwantedtodiscuss,startingwithAndreas.”
Confusionmingledwithmywariness.“MycousinAndreas?”
“Yes.”AsmallgrimacecrossedEdvard’sface.“He’llbestayinginthepalaceforafewmonths.He’sduetoarriveonTuesday.”
“What?”Iquicklycomposedmyself,butnotbeforemygrandfatherfrownedatthebreachofpropriety.“Whyishecominghere?”Iaskedinacalmervoice,thoughIwasanythingbutcalm.“Hehashisownhouseinthecity.”
Andreas,thesonofmygrandfather’slatebrotherPrinceAlfred,was—howshouldIputthistactfully—acompleteandutterass.Ifentitlement,misogyny,andgeneralasshole-nesscouldwalkandtalk,theywouldcomeintheformofoneAndreasvonAscheberg.
Luckily,he’dmovedtoLondonforuniversityandstayedthere.Ihadn’tseenhiminyears,andIdidn’tmisshimonebit.
Exceptnow,hewasnotonlyreturningtoEldorrabutstayinginthepalacewithus.
Killmenow.
“HewouldliketoreturntoEldorrapermanently,”Edvardsaidcarefully.“Becomemoreinvolvedinpolitics.Asforwhyhe’sstayinghere,hesaidhewouldliketoreconnectwithyousinceyouhaven’tseeneachotherinsolong.”
Ididn’tbelievethatexcuseforasecond.AndreasandIhadnevergottenalong,andthethoughtofhimanywherenearpoliticsmademewanttorunforthehills.
Unlikemostconstitutionalmonarchies,wheretheroyalfamilystayedpoliticallyneutral,Eldorrawelcomedroyalparticipationinpoliticsonalimitedbasis.Iwisheditdidn’tifitmeantAndreaswouldhaveahandinanythingthatmightaffectpeople’slives.
“Whynow?”Iasked.“IthoughthewasbusylivingthepartylifeinLondon.”
Andreashadalwaystalkedabiggame,braggingabouthisgradesandsubtlyhintingatwhatagoodkinghewouldmake—sometimestoNikolai’sface,backwhenNikolaihadbeenfirstinlinetothethrone—butthatwasallit’dbeen.Talk.Theclosesthe’dgottentoactuallytakingpartinpoliticswasmajoringinit.
Edvardraisedonethick,graybrow.“He’snextinlineforthethroneafteryou.”
Istaredathim.Hecouldn’tbeimplyingwhatIthoughthewasimplying.
SincemymotherhadbeenanonlychildandIdidn’thaveanychildren,AndreaswasindeedsecondinthelineofsuccessionnowthatNikolaihadabdicated.Itriedtopicturehimaskingandshuddered.
“I’llbefrank,”Edvardsaid.“Andreashashintedatcertain…ambitionsregardingthecrown,andhedoesnotbelieveawomanisupforthejob.”
Oh,howIwishedAndreaswasintheroomrightnowsoIcouldtellhimwheretoshovehisambitions.“PerhapsheshouldtellQueenElizabeththatthenexttimewevisitBuckinghamPalace,”Isaidcoolly.
“YouknowIdisagreewithhim.ButEldorraisnotBritainorDenmark.Thecountryismore…traditional,andI’mafraidmanymembersofParliamentsecretlyholdthesamesentimentasAndreas.”
Icurledmyfingersaroundtheedgeofmychair.“It’sagoodthingParliamentdoesn’tappointthemonarchthen.”
Imaynotwanttorule,butIwouldn’tstandforanyonetellingmeIcouldn’trulebecauseofmygender.Nevermindthefactthemonarchywasmerelysymbolic.Wewerethefaceofthenation,andtherewasnowayinhellI’dletsomeonelikeAndreasrepresentus.
Edvardhesitated.“That’stheotherreasonIwantedtospeakwithyou.Parliamentmaynotappointthemonarch,butthereisthematteroftheRoyalMarriagesLaw.”
Atightcoilofdreadformedinmystomach.TheRoyalMarriagesLaw,enactedin1732,wasthearchaiclawrequiringmonarchstomarrysomeoneofnobleblood.ItwasthereasonNikolaiabdicated,andI’davoidedthinkingaboutitasmuchaspossiblebecauseitmeantmychancesofmarryingforlovewereslimtonone.
Itwasn’tsimplyamatteroffindinganoblemanIliked.Potentialmarriagepartnerswerechosenformaximumpoliticalgain,andIwasn’tna?veenoughtohopeforalovematch.
“Idon’thavetomarryyet.”Ifoughttokeepthetrembleoutofmyvoice.“Ihavetime—”
“Iwishthatweretrue.”Edvard’sfacecreasedwithamixtureofguiltandtrepidation.“Butmyconditionisunpredictable.Icouldcollapseagainanyminute,andthenexttime,Imightnotbesolucky.NowthatNikolaihasabdicated,there’sevenmorepressuretoensureyou’rereadyforthethroneassoonaspossible.Thatincludesfindinganacceptablehusband.”
Marriagetechnicallywasn’tarequirementforthemonarch,butEldorrahadn’thadanunmarriedrulerin…well,ever.
Bileroseinmythroat,bothatthepossibilityImightlosemygrandfatheratanyminuteandattheprospectoflivingouttherestofmylifewithamanIdidn’tlove.
“I’msorry,dear,butit’sthetruth,”Edvardsaidgently.“IwishIcouldshieldyoufromtheharshtruthsoflifethewayIusedto,butyou’regoingtobequeenoneday,andthetimeforsugarcoatingisover.Youarethelastpersoninourdirectlineofsuccession,theonlyonewhostandsbetweenAndreasandthecrown”—weshudderedinunison—“andmarriagetoarespectablearistocrat,ideallywithinthenextyear,istheonlywaytoensurethethroneandthecountryremainsingoodhands.”
Idroppedmyhead,resignationfillingme.IcouldabdicatethewayNikolaihad,butIwouldn’t.AsmuchasIresentedhimforputtingmeinthisposition,he’ddoneitforlove.IfIdidit,itwouldbeoutofpureselfishness.
Besides,thecountrywouldn’tsurvivetwoabdicationssoclosetoeachother.Wewouldbethelaughingstockoftheworld,andIwouldnevertarnishourfamilynameorthecrownbypassingitontoAndreas.
“HowamIsupposedtofindahusbandsosoon?MyscheduleisalreadysofullIhardlyhavetimetosleep,muchlessdate.”
Mygrandfather’seyescrinkled,andhesuddenlylookedmorelikeamischievousyouththanakingwho’druledfordecades.“Leavethattome.Ihaveanidea,butbeforewegetintoit,there’sonelastthingweneedtodiscuss.Yourbodyguard.”
Thewordbodyguardmademyhearttwist.“Whatabouthim?”
Iwasstillgettingusedtomynewbodyguard,Elias.Hewasfine.Nice,competent,polite.
Buthewasn’tRhys.
Rhys,who’drejectedmyoffertoextendhiscontract.
Rhys,who’dwalkedawayamonthagowithoutlookingback.
Rhys,who’dgivenmethemostperfectfourdaysofmylifeandactedlikeithadmeantnothingtohimafterward.
Maybeithadn’t.MaybeI’dimaginedtheconnectionwehad,andhewasbusylivinghisbestlifeinCostaRicaorSouthAfricarightnow.
Bucketlistnumberfour.
AfamiliarburnspreadthroughmychestandbehindmyeyesbeforeIsetmyjawandcomposedmyself.
Princessesdon’tcry.Especiallynotoveraman.
“WereceivedaratherunusualcallfromHarperSecurity,”Edvardsaid.
HarperSecurity.TheagencyRhysworkedfor.
“IsRh—Mr.Larsenokay?”Mypulsequickenedwithterror.Washehurt?Dead?
Icouldn’tthinkofanyotherreasonhisemployerwouldcall,consideringhewasnolongercontractedwiththepalace.
“He’sfine.”Edvardgavemeastrangelook.“However,theyhadanoddrequest.Wenormallywouldn’tentertainsuchanidea,butChristianHarperhasaconsiderableamountofinfluence.He’snotsomeoneyousaynotolightly,evenifyou’retheking,andheaskedforafavorofsortsonbehalfofMr.Larsen.”
Iwasgrowingmoreconfusedbytheminute.“What’sthefavor?”
“Hewantstorejoinyourpersonalsecuritydetail.”
IfIhadn’tbeensitting,Iwould’vefallenoverinshock,andthatwasbeforeEdvardadded,“Permanently.”22Rhys
“Thatmakesuseven.”
IstuckmyphonebetweenmyearandshouldersoIcouldgrabmysuitcaseoutoftheoverheadbin.“Itoldyoualreadythatitdoes.”
“Iwanttomakesureitsinksin.”Christian’sdrawlseepedovertheline,itssmooth,lazyveneerhidingtherazorbladesbeneaththesurface.Itreflectedthemanbehindthevoice,adebonaircharmerwhocouldkillyouwithonehandandasmileonhisface.
Manyapersonhadfailedtolookbeyondthesmileuntilitwastoolate.
ItwaswhatmadeChristiansodangerousandsuchaneffectiveCEOoftheworld’smosteliteprivatesecurityagency.
“Ididn’trealizeyou’dbecomesoattachedtotheprincess,”headded.
Myjawflexedattheinsinuation,andInearlybowledoveranoldermanwearinganunfortunatemudbrownjacketinmyhastetogetofftheplane.“Ididn’tbecomeattached.She’stheleastannoyingclientI’vehad,andI’msickofrotatingbetweenrandompopstarsandspoiledheiresseseveryfewmonths.It’sapracticaldecision.”
Intruth,IknewI’dfuckeduplessthantwenty-fourhoursafterIturneddownheroffertoextendmycontract.I’dbeenontheplanebacktoD.C.,andIwould’veforcedthepilottoturnbackifdoingsowouldn’thavelandedmeontheno-flylistandresultedinaveryunpleasantdetentioncourtesyoftheU.S.government.
ButChristiandidn’tneedtoknowthat.
“SoyoumovetoEldorra,thecountryyouhatemost.”Itwasn’taquestion,andhesoundedlessthanconvinced.“Makessense.”
“Idon’thateEldorra.”Thecountrycamewithalotofbaggageforme,butIhadnothingagainsttheactualplace.Itwasameproblem,notathemproblem…forthemostpart.
ThewomanwalkingnexttomeinanIHeartEldorraT-shirtstaredatme,andIglaredbackuntilsheblushedandhurriedpast.
“Ifyousayso.”AnoteofwarningcreptintoChristian’svoice.“IagreedtoyourrequestbecauseItrustyou,butdon’tdoanythingstupid,Larsen.PrincessBridgetisaclient.ThefuturequeenofEldorra,atthat.”
“Noshit,Sherlock.”Christianwastechnicallymyboss,butI’dneverbeengoodatkissingass,notevenwhenIwasinthemilitary.It’dgottenmeintomyfairshareoftrouble.“Andyoudidn’tdothisbecauseyoutrustme.YoudiditbecauseIspentthepastmonthdealingwithyourmess.”
IfIhadn’t,Iwould’vetakenthenextplanebacktoEldorraafterIlandedinD.C.
Thenagain,ifIhadn’t,Christianmightnothaveagreedtopullhismanystringsforme.Hedidn’tdoanythingpurelyoutofthegoodofhisheart.
“Eitherway,rememberwhyyou’rethere,”hesaidcalmly.“YouaretoprotectPrincessBridgetfrombodilyharm.That’sit.”
“I’maware.”Iexitedtheairportandwasimmediatelyhitwithablastoffrigidair.WinterinEldorrawascoldasshit,butI’dsurvivedcolderintheNavy.Thewindbarelyfazedme.“Gottago.”
Ihungupwithoutanotherwordandtookmyplaceinthetaxiline.
WhathadBridget’sreactionbeenwhenshefoundoutIwasreturning?Happy?Angry?Indifferent?Shehadn’trefusedmyrequesttobereinstatedasherbodyguard,whichwasagoodsign,butIalsowasn’tsurethepalacegaveherachoice.
Whateveritwas,I’ddealwithit.Ijustwantedtoseeheragain.
I’dleftbecauseIthoughtitwastherightthingtodo.We’dagreedwhathappenedinCostaRicawouldstayinCostaRica,andI’dtriedmybesttodistancemyselfafterward.Togiveusbothafightingchance.Becauseifwestayedneareachother,wewouldendupinaplacethatcoulddestroyher.
Bridgetwasaprincess,andshedeservedaprince.Iwasn’tthat.Notevenclose.
ButitonlytookadayawayfromherformetorealizeIdidn’tgiveadamn.Icouldn’tactonmyfeelings,butIalsocouldn’tstayaway,sohereIwas.Beingbyhersidewithoutactuallybeingwithherwouldbeaspecialformoftorture,butitwasbetterthannotbeingnearheratall.Thepastsixweekswereevidenceofthat.
“Youdroppedthis.”
Mymusclescoiled,andIdidaquickfive-secondassessmentofthestrangerwhocameupbehindme.
Helookedtobeinhisearlytomid-thirties.Sandyhair,expensivecoat,andthesofthands—bothinfullview—ofsomeonewho’dneverdonemoretaxingphysicallaborthanliftingapen.
Nevertheless,Ikeptmyguardup.Hewasn’taphysicalthreat,butthatdidn’tmeanhecouldn’tbeathreatinotherways.Plus,Ididn’ttakewelltorandompeopleapproachingme.
“That’snotmine.”Iflickedmyeyestothecrackedblackleatherwalletinhishand.
“No?”Hefrowned.“IthoughtIsawitfalloutofyourpocket,butit’ssocrowded.Imust’veseenwrong.”Heexaminedme,hishazeleyespiercing.“American?”
Irespondedwithacurtnod.Ihatedsmalltalk,andsomethingaboutthemanunsettledme.Myguardinchedupfurther.
“Ithoughtso.”ThemanspokeperfectEnglish,buthehadthesamefaintEldorranaccentasBridget.“Areyouhereonvacation?NotmanyAmericanscomeinthewinter.”
“Work.”
“Ah,Icamebackforworktoo,inamannerofspeaking.I’mAndreas.”Heheldouthisfreehand,butIdidn’tmove.
Ididn’tshakerandomstrangers’hands,especiallynotattheairport.
IfAndreaswasfazedbymyrudeness,hedidn’tshowit.
Heslidhishandintohispocketandsmiled,butitdidn’tquitereachhiseyes.“Enjoyyourstay.MaybeI’llseeyouaround.”
Tosome,itmight’vesoundedfriendlyorevenlikeacome-on.Tome,itsoundedvaguelylikeathreat.
“Maybe.”Ihopednot.Ididn’tknowtheguy,butIknewIdidn’ttrusthim.
Ireachedtheheadofthetaxiline,andIdidn’tspareAndreasanotherglanceasItossedmysuitcaseinthetrunkandgavethedriverthepalace’saddress.
Ittookalmostanhourtoreachthesprawlingcomplexthankstotraffic,andmybodytightenedwithanticipationwhenthefamiliargoldgatescameintoview.
Finally.
It’donlybeensixweeks,butitfeltlikesixyears.
Itwastruewhatpeoplesaidaboutnotknowingwhatyouhaduntilitwasgone.
Aftertheentranceguardclearedme,IcheckedinwithMalthe,theheadsecuritychief,thenwithSilas,theheadoftheroyalhousehold,whoinformedmeIwouldstayinthepalace’sguesthouse.Heshowedmetothestonecottage,locatedfifteenminutesfromthemainbuilding,andrambledonabouthouseholdrulesandprotocoluntilIinterruptedhim.
“IsHerHighnesshere?”IstayedattheguesthouseeverytimeIcametoEldorra,andIdidn’tneedtolistentothewholesonganddanceagain.
Silasheavedadeepsigh.“Yes,HerHighnessisinthepalacewithLadyMikaela.”
“Where?”
“Thesecond-floordrawingroom.She’snotexpectingyouuntiltomorrow,”headdedpointedly.
“Thankyou.Icantakeitfromhere.”Translation:Goaway.
Heletoutanotherhugesighbeforeleaving.
Afterheleft,Itookaquickshower,changed,andheadedbacktothepalace.Ittookafullhalfhourformetoreachthedrawingroom,andmystepsslowedwhenIheardBridget’ssilverylaughthroughthedoors.
God,I’dmissedherlaugh.I’dmissedeverythingabouther.
Ipushedopenthedoorsandsteppedinside,myeyesimmediatelyzeroinginonBridget.
Goldenhair.Creamyskin.Graceandsunshine,cladinherfavoriteyellowdress,whichshealwaysworewhenshewantedtolookprofessionalbutrelaxed.
Shestoodinfrontofagiantwhiteboardwithwhatlookedlikedozensoftinyheadshotstapedtoit.HerfriendMikaelawaswavingherhandsaroundandspeakinganimatedlyuntilshenoticedme
“Rhys!”sheexclaimed.Shewasapetitebrunettewithaheadofcurlyhair,freckles,andanunnervinglyperkypersonality.“Bridgettoldmeyouwerecomingback.It’ssogoodtoseeyouagain!”
Itippedmyheadingreeting.“LadyMikaela.”
Bridgetturned.Oureyesmet,andthebreathstolefrommylungs.Forsixweeks,I’donlyhadthememoryofhertoclingto,andseeingherinpersonagainwasalmostoverwhelming.
“Mr.Larsen.”Hertonewascoolandprofessional,butafainttremorranbeneathit.
“YourHighness.”
Westaredateachother,ourchestsrisingandfallinginsync.Evenfromhalfwayacrosstheroom,Icouldseethepulseflutteringatthebaseofherthroat.Thetinybeautymarkbeneathherleftear.Thewayherdresshuggedherhipslikealover’scaress.
IneverthoughtI’dbejealousofadress,butherewewere.
“You’rejustintime.”Mikaela’svoiceshatteredthespell.“Weneedathirdopinion.BridgetandIcan’tagree.”
“Onwhat?”IkeptmyeyesonBridget,whoremainedfrozenwhereshestood
“Whatshouldrankhigherwhenitcomestoaromanticpartner,intelligenceorasenseofhumor?”
Bridget’sshouldersstiffened,andIfinallydraggedmygazeawayfromhertoMikaela.“Rank?”
“We’rerankingtheguestsforBridget’sbirthdayball,”Mikaelaexplained.“Well,Iam.Sherefuses.Butthere’sgoingtobesomanymenthere,andshecan’tdancewiththemall.Weneedtonarrowitdown.There’sonedanceslotleft,andI’mtornbetweenLordRafeandPrinceHans.”Shetappedherpenagainstherchin.“Thenagain,PrinceHansisaprince,somaybehedoesn’tneedasenseofhumor.”
MywarmthatseeingBridgetagainvanished.
“What,”Isaid,myvoiceafulltwooctaveslowerthannormal,“areyoutalkingabout?”
“Bridget’sbirthdayball.”Mikaelabeamed.“It’sdoublingasamatchmakingevent.We’regoingtofindherahusband!”23Bridget
Iwantedtodie.
Iftheflooropenedupandswallowedmewhole,I’dbethehappiestpersononearth.Orunderearth,asthecasewouldbe.
Sadly,IremainedinthedrawingroomwithawhiteboardcoveredwithpicturesofEuropeanbachelors,astone-facedRhys,andanobliviousMikaela.
“It’stheeventoftheseason,”shecontinued.“Thetimingisrushed,butElin’steamisworkingonitaroundtheclockandinviteswentoutthismorning.DozensofpeoplealreadyRSVP’dyes.”Sheletoutadreamysigh.“Allthosehandsomemen,alldressedupinoneroom.Icouldsimplydie.”
Yes,thebigideamygrandfatherhadalludedtotheotherdayinhisofficewasathinlyveiledmatchmakinggala.I’dprotested,horrifiedatthethoughtofspendinganentireevening—mybirthday,noless—makingsmalltalkanddancingwithover-inflatedegosdisguisedashumans.
I’dbeenoverruled.
Apparently,mytwenty-fourthbirthdaywasagoodexcusetoinviteeveryeligiblebachelorinEuropetotheparty,anditwascomingupinafewweeks,whichmadeforperfecttiming,evenifitwas,asMikaelahadsaid,rushed.
“Ididn’trealizeyouwerelookingforahusband,YourHighness,”Rhyssaidsocoldlygoosebumpseruptedonmyarms.
Thecurrentofelectricityrunningbetweenusfroze,turningtoice.
Atthesametime,indignationkindledinmystomach.Hehadnorighttobeangry.Hewastheonewho’dleftandinsistedonkeepingthingsbetweenusprofessionalafterCostaRica.Hecouldn’tpossiblythinkhecouldwaltzinhereagainaftersixweeksbecausehechangedhismindandexpectmetohaveputmylifeonholdforhim.
“It’sapoliticsandpublicimagething,”MikaelasaidbeforeIcouldanswer.“Anyway,whatwerewetalkingabout?Right.”Shesnappedherfingers.“LordRafeandPrinceHans.Nevermindaboutthat.PrinceHansrankshigher,ofcourse.”Shemovedhisheadshottotheyessideoftheboard.
“I’llleaveyoutoitthen,YourHighness.Iwasjustcheckingin.”Rhys’sfaceshutdown,andfrustrationstabbedatme,joiningthecocktailofemotionscoursingthroughmyveins—excitementandgiddinessatseeinghimagain,annoyanceathishypocrisy,lingeringangeroverhisinitialdeparture,andasmidgeofguilt,eventhoughweweren’tdating,we’dneverdated,andIwasfreetodancewitheverymaninAthenbergifIwanted.
Ifwedothis,itstayshere.Thisroom,thisnight.Wedon’ttalkaboutitagain.
Thatwashisrule,sowhydidIfeelguiltyatall?
“Mr.Larsen—”
“I’llseeyoutomorrow,YourHighness.”
Rhysleft.
BeforeIknewwhatIwasdoing,Ifollowedhimoutthedoor,myspinehardeningwithdetermination.
Iwouldnotgetdrawnintoanendlesscycleofwhat-ifsagain.Ihadenoughtoworryabout.IfRhyshadaproblem,hecouldtellmetomyface.
“Whereareyougoing?”Mikaelacalledafterme.“Westillneedtofigureoutthedanceorder!”
“Ladies’room,”Isaidovermyshoulder.“Itrustyou.Orderthemhowyouwish.”
IquickenedmystepsandcaughtupwithRhysaroundthecorner.“Mr.Larsen.”
Thistime,hestoppedbutdidn’tturnaround.
“Theballwasmygrandfather’sidea.Notmine.”Ididn’towehimanexplanation,butIfeltcompelledtogiveoneanyway.
“It’syourbirthday,princess.Youcandowhateveryouwant.”
Isetmyjawevenasmystomachflutteredatthewordprincess.“So,you’reokaywithmedancingwithothermenallnight?”
Rhysfinallyturned,thoseinscrutablegrayeyesflickering.“Whywouldn’tIbe?Itsoundsliketheperfectsolution.You’llfindaniceprince,marry,andrulehappilyeverafter.”Amockinginflectioncoloredhiswords.“Thelifeofaprincess,exactlyasitshouldbe.”
Somethinginsidemesnapped,justlikethat.
Iwasangry.AngryatNikolaiforabdicatingandrunningofftoCaliforniawithSabrinaafterwardsotheycould“takesometime”forthemselves.Angryatnothavingcontrolovermylife.Andmostofall,angryatRhysforturningourreunionintosomethinguglyafterwe’dbeenapartforsixweeks
“You’reright,”Isaid.“Itistheperfectsolution.Ican’twait.MaybeI’lldomorethandance.MaybeI’llfindsomeonetokissandtakeupto—”
Twosecondslater,Ifoundmyselfpinnedtothewall.Rhys’seyesweren’tflickeringanymore.Theyhaddarkened,turninggrayintonear-blackthundercloudslikethekinddrenchedthecityinspringtime.“Notagoodideatofinishthatsentence,princess,”hesaidsoftly.
I’dprovokedhimonpurpose,butIhadtofightashiveratthedangerrollingoffhim.
“Takeyourhandsoffme,Mr.Larsen.We’renotintheU.S.anymore,andyou’reoversteppingyourboundaries.”
Rhysmovedincloser,andIstruggledtofocuswhenIwassoconsumedbyhim.Byhisscent,hisbreathonmyskin.Bymemoriesoflingeringlooksandstolenlaughsandsunsetsinapoolhalfwayacrosstheworld.
“Fuckmyboundaries.”Everywordcameoutslowanddeliberate,likehewantedtoetchthemintomyskin.
“Whatafirstdaybackonthejob.It’sjustlikeoldtimes.”Ipressedmybacktighteragainstthewall,tryingtoescapethesearingheatfromRhys’sbody.“Whyareyouhere,Mr.Larsen?YouwereperfectlyhappytowalkawaywhenIaskedyoutostay.”
“IfyouthinkIwasanythingclosetohappythesepastsixweeks,”hesaidgrimly,“Youcouldn’tbemorewrong.”
“Youwerehappyenoughtostayawayforthatlong.”Itriedandfailedtohidethenoteofhurtinmyvoice.
Rhys’sfacesoftenedasmidge.“Trustme,princess.IfIhadachoice,Iwould’vebeenbackfarsoonerthanthat.”
Thevelvetytipsofbutterflywingsbrushedmyheart.
Stopit.Staystrong.
“Whichbringsmebacktomyquestion,”Isaid.“Whyareyouhere?”
Amusclejumpedinhisjaw.Hehadn’tshavedthatday,andthickerstubblepepperedhisfacethanIwasusedto.
Icurledmyhandsintoloosefists,resistingtheurgetorunthemovertheshortblackhairsonhischeekandthescaronhiseyebrow.JustsoIcouldreassuremyselfhewasactuallythere.
Angryandinfuriating,butthere.
“BecauseI—”
“AmIinterruptingsomething?”
Rhysmovedoffmesofastittookmeafewsecondstoprocesswhathappened.OnceIdid,andIsawwhohadinterruptedus,mystomachsank.
Becausestandingattheendofthehall,wearingahalfcurious,halfsmirkingexpression,wasnoneotherthanmycousinAndreas.
“IwasonmywaytomyroomwhenIheardsomethingandcametoinvestigate,”hedrawled.“ApologiesifI…intruded.”
RhysspokeupbeforeIcould.“Whatthehellareyoudoinghere?”
“I’mBridget’scousin.”Andreassmiled.“IguessIwillseeyouaroundafterall.Smallworld.”
Myheadwhippedbetweenthem.“Youknoweachother?”Howwasthatpossible?
“Wemetattheairport,”Andreassaidcasually.“Ithoughthedroppedhiswalletbut,alas,Iwasmistaken.Wehadanicelittlechat,thoughInevercaughtyourname.”HedirectedthelastpartatRhys,whowaitedafewbeatsbeforeanswering.
“RhysLarsen.”
“Mr.Larsenismybodyguard,”Isaid.“Hewas…helpingmegetsomethingoutofmyeye.”
Secretly,Ikickedmyselfforbeingsocareless.Wewereinasidehallwayofaquieterpartofthepalace,buttherewereeyesandearseverywhere.Ishould’veknownbetterthantogetintoitwithRhyswhereanyonecouldpassbyandoverhear.
JudgingfromRhys’sexpression,hethoughtthesamething.
“Really?Howconsiderateofhim.”Andreasdidn’tsoundconvinced,andIdidn’tlikethewayhewassizingusup.
Idrewmyselfuptomyfullheightandstaredhimdown.Iwouldn’tlethimintimidateme.Notinmyownhome.
“Youmentionedyouwereonyourwaytoyourroom,”Isaidpointedly.“Don’tletusstopyou.”
“Firsttimewe’veseeneachotherinyears,andthisisthegreetingIget.”Andreassighed,pullingoffhisgloveswithdeliberateslownessbeforeslippingtheminhispocket.“You’redifferentnowthatyou’recrownprincess,dearcousin.”
“You’reright,”Isaid.“Iamdifferent.I’myourfuturequeen.”
Andreas’ssmileslipped,andIsawRhyssmirkoutofthecornerofmyeye.
“I’mgladyoumadeitheresafely.”Iextendedasmallolivebranch,ifonlybecauseIhadnodesiretoengageinoverthostilitieswithmycousinforthenextmonthorhoweverlongheplannedonstayinghere.“ButIhaveameetingIneedtoreturnto.Wecanchatlater.”
Bylater,Imeantnever,hopefully.
“Ofcourse.”AndreastippedhisheadandcastonelastglanceatmeandRhysbeforedisappearingdownthehall.
IwaitedagoodtwominutesbeforeIallowedmyselftorelax.
“Yourcousinseemslikeashithead,”Rhyssaid.
Ilaughed,andthemoodbetweenusfinallylightened.
“Notseems.Heis.Buthe’salsofamily,sowe’restuckwithhim.”Itwistedmyringaroundmyfinger,tryingtofindatactfulwaytobringusbacktoourearlierconversation.“AboutwhathappenedbeforeAndreasinterrupted…”
“IcamebackbecauseIwantedtocomeback,”Rhyssaid.“And…”Hepaused,likehewasdebatingwhethertosaywhathewasabouttosay.“Ididn’twantyoutobealonewhileyou’redealingwithallthisshit.”Hegesturedtowardourlavishsurroundings.
Alone.
Itwasthesecondtimehe’dsaidit.Firstonmygraduationnight,andnow.Hewasrightbothtimes.
I’dtriedandfailedtonametheempty,gnawingfeelingthat’dhauntedmesinceRhysleft.TheonethatcreptuponmewhenIlayinbedatnightandtriedtothinkofsomethingIlookedforwardtothenextday.Theonethatwashedthroughmeattheoddestmoments,likewhenIwasinthemiddleofaneventorpretendingtolaughalongwitheveryoneelse.
Now,Ihadanameforit.
Loneliness.
“Well.”Ismiled,tryingtohidehowmuchhiswordshadaffectedme.“It’snicetohaveyouback,Mr.Larsen.Atleast,whenyou’renotactinglikeagrade-Ayou-know-what.”
Hechuckled.“It’snicetobeback,princess.”
ThiswasthereunionI’dwanted.Ididn’tlikeAndreas,butatleasthe’dbrokentheicebetweenmeandRhys.
“So,wheredowegofromhere?”Nomatterwhatwesaid,hewasn’tjustmybodyguard,anddeepdown,webothknewit.
“Wegowhereveryougo,”Rhyssaid.“Ikeepyousafe.Theend.”
“Youmakeitsoundsosimple.”Whenrealityissocomplicated.BetweenCostaRica,hisdeparture,andhisreappearancerightwhenpressuretofinda“suitable”husbandboredownonme,IfeltlikeabugstuckinawebofsecretsandresponsibilitiesIcouldn’tfreemyselffrom.
“Itissimple.”Rhysspokewithsuchquietconfidenceitresonatedinmybones.“ImadeamistakewhenIleft,andI’mfixingit.”
“Justlikethat.”
“Justlikethat.”Thecornerofhismouthtippedup.“ThoughIimagineyou’llmakeitasdifficultformeaspossible.”
Iletoutasoftlaugh.“Whenhavethingseverbeeneasyforus?”
ButeventhoughIwasstillupsetwithRhysforleavinginthefirstplace,Irealizedsomething.Theempty,gnawingfeelinghaddisappeared.24Bridget
“MightIsay,youlookabsolutelybeautifultonight,YourHighness,”Edwin,theCountofFalser,saidasheguidedmeacrossthedancefloor.
“Thankyou.Youlookquitehandsomeyourself.”Withhissandy-coloredhairandathleticbuild,Edwinwasn’thardontheeyes,butIcouldn’tsummonmuchenthusiasmbeyondmyblandcompliment.
Afterweeksoffrenziedplanning,thenightofmybigballwasfinallyhere,andIcouldn’tbemoreunderwhelmed.Mydancepartnershadallbeendudssofar,andIhadn’thadachancetosomuchasbreathesinceIarrived.It’dbeendanceafterdance,smalltalkaftersmalltalk.Ihadn’teatenanythingotherthanthetwostrawberriesIsnuckfromthedesserttablebetweendances,andmyheelsfeltlikerazorbladesstrappedtomyfeet.
Edwinpuffedouthischest.“Idoputalotofeffortintomyappearance,”hesaidinapoorattemptatahumbletone.“Athenberg’stoptailorcustomizedmytuxedo,andEirik—recentlynamedbyVogueasEurope’stophairstylist—comestomyhouseeverytwoweeksformaintenance.Ialsobuiltanewgyminmyhouse.Maybeyou’llseeitoneday.”Heshotmeacockysmile.“Idon’twanttobrag,butIbelieveit’llmatchanythingyouhaveinthepalace.Top-of-the-linecardiomachines,DISKUSdumbbellsetsmadeofGrade303non-reactivestainlesssteel…”
Myeyesglazedover.DearGod.IwouldratherlistentomylastdancepartneranalyzeAthenberg’strafficpatternsduringrushhour.
MydancewithEdwinthankfullyendedbeforehecouldexpoundfurtheronhisgymequipment,andIsoonfoundmyselfinthearmsofmynextsuitor.
“So.”IsmiledgailyatAlfred,thesonoftheEarlofTremark.Hewasafewinchesshorterthanme,andIhadadirectviewofhisbaldingspot.Itriednottoletitdeterme.Ididn’twanttobeoneofthoseshallowpeoplewhoonlycaredaboutlooks,butitwouldbeeasiernottofocusonhislooksifhegavemesomethingelsetoworkwith.Hehadn’tlookedmeintheeyeoncesincewestarteddancing.“Ihearyou’requitethe,er,birdconnoisseur.”
Alfredhadbuiltanaviaryonhisestate,andaccordingtoMikaela,oneofhisbirdsfamouslypoopedonLordAshworth’sheadduringtheEarl’sannualspringball.
Alfredmumbledareply.
“I’msorry,Ididn’tcatchthat,”Isaidpolitely.
Anothermumble,accompaniedbyacrimsonflushthatspreadallthewaytohisbaldspot.
Ididusbothafavorandstoppedtalking.Iwonderedwho’dforcedhimtoattendtonightandwhowashavingaworsetime—himorme.
Istifledayawnandlookedaroundtheballroom,searchingforsomethinginterestingtoholdmyattention.Mygrandfatherheldcourtwithafewministersinthecorner.Mikaelahoverednearthedesserttable,flirtingwithaguestIdidn’trecognize,andAndreassnakedthroughthecrowd,lookinglike,well,asnake.
Iwishedmyfriendswerehere.I’dvideochattedwithAva,Jules,andStellaearlierthatday,andImissedthemsomuchithurt.IwouldmuchratherspendmybirthdayeatingicecreamandwatchingcheesyromcomsthandancingmyfeetoffwithpeopleIdidn’tevenlike.
Ineedabreak.Justasmallone.JustsoIcouldbreathe.
“Apologies,”IsaidsoabruptlyasurprisedAlfredstumbledandnearlyknockedthetrayoutofapassingserver’shand.“I’m…notfeelingwell.WouldyoumindifIcutourdanceshort?I’mterriblysorry.”
“Oh,notatall,YourHighness,”hesaid,hiswordsfinallyaudibleandfilledwithrelief.“Ihopeyoufeelbettersoon.”
“Thankyou.”IsnuckapeekatElin.Shehadherbackturnedasshechattedwiththesocietycolumnistcoveringtheparty,andIslippedoutoftheballroombeforeshesawme.
IhurrieddownthehalluntilIreachedtherestroomtuckedintoaquietalcove,half-shieldedbyagiantbronzebustofKingFrederickI.
Ilockedthedoor,satonthetoiletseat,andkickedoffmyshoeswithasighofrelief.Mydresspoufedaroundmeinacloudofpalebluesilkandtulle.Itwasagorgeouscreation,asweremystrappysilverheelsandthediamondnecklacerestingagainstmycollarbone,butallIwantedwastochangeintomypajamasandcrawlintobed.
“Twomorehours,”Isaid.Ormaybeitwasthree.Itcouldn’tbemorethanthree.Imust’vealreadydancedwitheverymanintheroom,andIwasnoclosertoahusbandthanI’dbeenatthebeginningofthenight.
Iclosedmyeyesandrestedmyheadinmyhands.Don’tthinkaboutit.
IfIstartedthinking—abouthowtheentirenationwaswatchingmeandhowoneofthemenintheballroomwaslikelymyfuturehusband—Iwouldspiral.AndifIstartedthinkingaboutoneparticularman,gruffandscarredwitheyesthatcouldmeltsteelandhandsthatcouldmeltme,Iwouldenduponapaththatcouldonlyleadtoruin.
I’davoidedlookingatRhysallnight,butIknewhewasthere,dressedinadarksuitandearpieceandoozingsuchrawmasculinityseveralfemaleguestsflutteredaroundhiminsteadoftheprinceswhowereusuallyhotcommoditiesatsuchparties.
Wehadn’thadanytimealonesincethatdayoutsidethedrawingroom,butthatwasprobablyagoodthing.Ididn’ttrustmyselfaroundhim.
IstayedinthebathroomforanotherfewminutesbeforeIforcedmyselftoleave.Otherwise,ElinwouldhuntmedownanddragmebacklikeIwasanerrantchild.
Islippedmyshoesbackonwithasmallwince,openedthedoor—andwalkedstraightintoawall.
Asix-foot-five,unsmilingwall.
“DearLord!”Myhandflewtomychest,wheremyheartbeattripletime.“Youscaredme.”
“Sorry.”Rhysdidn’tsoundsorry.
“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“Youlefttheparty.I’myourbodyguard.”Heraisedaneyebrow.“Puttwoandtwotogether.”
ClassicRhys.Iftherewasarudewaytoansweraquestion,he’dfindit.
“Fine.Well,I’mreadytoreturntotheparty,soifyou’llexcuseme…”Isidesteppedhim,buthegrabbedmyarmbeforeIcouldgoanyfurther.
Timestoppedandnarrowedtowherehislargehandencircledmywrist.Hisnaturaltancontrastedwithmywinterpaleskin,andhisfingerswereroughandcallused,unlikethesmooth,softhandsofthelordsandprincesI’ddancedwithallnight.Aknee-weakeningdesiretofeelthemslideovermyskin,brandingmeashis,overtookme.
Bucketlistnumberfour.
Mybreathingsoundedshallowinthetiny,intimatealcove.Itwasn’tright,thepowerthismanhadoverme,butIwashelplessinthefaceofmyheart,hormones,andtheindomitableforcethatwasRhysLarsen.
Afterwhatfeltlikeaneternity,butinrealitywasonlyafewseconds,Rhysspoke.“Ididn’tgetachancetosaythisearlier,”hesaid.“Buthappybirthday,princess.”
Thump,thump,thump,wentmyheart.“Thankyou.”
Hedidn’tletgoofmywrist,andIdidn’taskhimto.
Theairbetweenusthickenedwithunspokenwords.
Iwonderedifwewould’veworkedinadifferentlife,adifferentworld.OneinwhichIwasjustawomanandhewasjustaman,unburdenedbytherulesandexpectationsofothers.
AndIhatedmyselfforwonderingthosethingsbecauseRhyshadnevergivenmeanyindicationhewasinterestedinmebeyondphysicalattractionandprofessionalobligation.
None,exceptforthefleetingmomentswhenhelookedatmelikeIwashiswholeworld,andheneverwantedtoblink.
“Howareyouenjoyingtheball?”
Imight’veimaginedit,butIthoughtIfelthisthumbrubthesoftskinofmywrist.
Thump.Thump.Thump.
“It’sfine.”Iwastoodistractedbywhatmightormightnotbehappeningtomywristtocomeupwithabetteranswer.
“Justfine?”Thereitwas.Anotherthumbrub.Icould’veswornit.“YouspentquiteabitoftimewiththeEarlofFalser.”
“Howdoyouknowwhichonetheearlis?”
“Princess,Iknoweverymanwhoeventhinksabouttouchingyou.Muchlessonewhoyoudancedwith.Twice,”Rhysadded,thewordlethallysoft.
Itshould’vefrightenedme,butinstead,myskintingledandmythighsclenched.
Whatiswrongwithme?
“That’squiteatalent.”I’donlydancedwithEdwintwicebecausehe’dinsisted,andIwastootiredtoargue
Rhys’ssmiledidn’tquitereachhiseyes.“So.TheEarlofFalser.Ishetheone?”
“No.”Ishookmyhead.“NotunlessIwanttospendtherestofmylifehearingabouthisclothesandgymequipment.”
Rhyspressedhisthumbagainstmypoundingpulse.“Good.”
Thewayhesaiditmadeitsoundliketheearlhadescapeddeathbyahair’sbreadth.
“Ishouldreturntothedance,”Isaid,eventhoughthatwasthelastthingIwanted.“Elinmustbegoingcrazy.”
“Going?”
Ilaughedmyfirstreallaughofthenight.“You’reterrible.”
“Butnotwrong.”
ThiswastheRhysI’dmissed.Thedryhumor,theglimpsesofhishiddensoftness.ThiswastherealRhys.
“Howdoestwenty-fourfeel?”heaskedaswewalkedbacktotheballroom.
“Liketwenty-three,excepthungrierandmoretired.Howdoesthirty-fourfeel?”He’dturnedthirty-fourduringtheweekswe’dbeenapart.I’dthoughtaboutcallinghimonhisbirthdaybutchickenedoutatthelastminute.
“Likethirty-three,exceptstrongerandsmarter.”
Agrintouchedhismouthatmyhalf-amused,half-annoyedhuff.
Whenwereturnedtotheball,wefoundElinwaitingforusattheentrancewithherarmscrossedoverherchest.
“Good.Youfoundher,”shesaidwithoutlookingatRhys.“YourHighness,wherehaveyoubeen?”
“Ihadtousetheladies’room.”Itwasonlyhalfalie.
“Forfortyminutes?YoumissedyourdancewithPrinceDemetrios,whojustleft.”Elinsighed.“Nevermind.Therearemorepotentialsuitorshere.Go,quickly.Thenightisalmostover.”
ThankGodforthat.
Iresumedmydances.Elinwatchedmelikeahawk,andIwastooterrifiedtolookinRhys’sdirectionlestsomethingshowonmyfacethatIdidn’twanthertosee.
“AmIthatboring?”
“I’msorry?”IdraggedmyattentionbacktomycurrentpartnerSteffan,thesonoftheDukeofHolstein.
“Youkeeplookingovermyshoulder.Eitherthere’ssomethingfascinatinghappeningbehindme,ormyin-depthanalysisofthepalace’sarchitecturalstyleisn’tasscintillatingasIthought.”
Ablushwarmedmycheeks.“Myapologies.”Noneofmypreviousdancepartnershadpickeduponmywanderingattention,andI’dassumedhewouldn’teither.“Thatwasterriblyrudeofme.”
“Noapologiesnecessary,YourHighness.”Steffan’seyescrinkledinagood-naturedsmile.“Imustadmit,Icould’vecomeupwithabetterconversationtopicthanthehistoryofneoclassicism.That’swhathappenswhenI’mnervous.Ispoutallsortsofuselessfacts.”
Ilaughed.“Thereareworsewaystodealwithnerves,Isuppose.”
Myskinsuddenlyburned,andIstumbledforasecondbeforeIcaughtmyself
“Areyouallright?”Steffanasked,lookingconcerned.
Inodded,forcingmyselfnottolookatRhys,butIcouldfeeltheheatofhisstareonmyback.
FocusonSteffan.HewasthemostenjoyabledancepartnerI’dhadallnight,andhecheckedeveryboxforaneligiblePrinceConsort:funny,charming,andhandsome,nottomentionthebluestofbluebloods.
Ilikedhim.Ijustdidn’tlikehimromantically.
“Itseemsourtimehascometoanend,”Steffansaidwhenthemusicwounddown.Thenightwasfinallyover.“Butperhapswecouldgooutsometime,justthetwoofus?ThenewskatingrinkonNyhausenisquitenice,andtheyservethebesthotchocolateinthecity.”
Adate.
IwantedtosaynobecauseIdidn’twanttoleadhimon,butthatwasthewholepointoftheball—tofindahusband,andIcouldn’tgetahusbandwithoutdatingfirst.
“Thatsoundslovely,”Isaid.
Steffangrinned.“Excellent.I’llcallyoulaterandwe’llsetupthedetails.”
“It’saplan.”
Ilefttogivemyclosingspeechthankingeveryoneforattending,andaftertheguestsfilteredoutonebyone,Ihurriedoutoftheballroom,eagertoleavebeforeElincouldgetaholdofme
Imadeithalfwaytotheexitbeforesomeoneblockedmypath.
“YourHighness.”
Istifledagroan.“LordErhall.”
TheSpeakerofParliamentstareddownhisnoseatme.Hewasatall,spindlymanwithgrayinghairandeyeslikeareptile’s,coldandpredatory.Hewasalsooneofthemostpowerfulpeopleinthecountry,hencewhyhereceivedaninvitedespitenotbeingintheeligiblebacheloragerange.
“HisMajestyandImissedyouatyesterday’smeeting,”hesaid.“Wediscussedthenewproposedtaxreformlegislation,whichI’msureyouwouldhavecontributedgreatlyto.”
Ididn’tmissthemockingundertone.IsometimesattendedtheweeklymeetingsmygrandfatherhadwiththeSpeaker,andErhallhadinsinuatedmultipletimeshethoughtIhadnobusinessbeingthere.
HewasoneoftheParliamentmembersEdvardhadreferredtowhenhe’dsaidtherewerepeoplewhodidn’twanttoseeawomanonthethrone.
“Indeed,”Isaidcoolly.“You’vebeentryingtopasssimilarlegislationforyears,haveyounot,Mr.Speaker?Itdoesseemitcouldbenefitfromnewideas.”
Erhall’smouthtightened,buthisvoicewasdeceptivelylightwhenheresponded.“Ihopeyouenjoyedtheball,YourHighness.Husbandhuntingissurelyatoppriorityforaprincess.”
Everyoneknewthetruepurposeoftheball,butnoonewasstupidoruntactfulenoughtovoiceitoutaloud…exceptforErhall,whowieldedenoughpowerhecouldgetawaywithinsultingthecrownprincessatherownparty.TherewereevenrumorshemightbethenextPrimeMinisterwhenheinevitablyranfortheoffice.
Iresistedtheurgetoslaphim.Thatwouldplayrightintohisgame.NoonewouldbehappierthanErhallifmypublicimagetookahit,whichitwouldifIwascaughtattackingtheSpeakerofParliamentonmybirthday.
“Letmebefrank,YourHighness.”Erhallsmoothedhistie.“Youarealovelyyoungwoman,butbeingthemonarchofEldorrarequiresmorethanaprettyface.Youhavetounderstandthepolitics,thedynamics,theseriousissuesathand.Yourbrotherwastrainedforit,butyouhaven’tevenlivedinEldorraforthepastfewyears.Don’tyouthinkitwouldbebestifyouhandedtheresponsibilitiesofthecrowntosomeonemoresuitedtotherole?”
“Whomightthatbe?”Myvoicedrippedpoisonoushoney.“Someonemale,Ipresume.”
Itwasunbelievablewewerehavingthisconversation,butnoonehadeveraccusedParliamentofmovingforwardwiththetimes.
Erhallsmiled,wiseenoughnottogiveadirectanswer.“Whoeveryouthinkbest,YourHighness.”
“Letmebeclear,Mr.Speaker.”Myfacewashotandblotchyfromhumiliation,butIpushedpastit.Iwouldn’tgivehimthesatisfactionofseeinghe’dgottenundermyskin.“Ihavenointentionofabdicating,steppingaside,orhandingmyresponsibilitiestoanyoneelse.”NomatterhowmuchIwantto.“Oneday,I’llsitonthethrone,andyou’llhavetoanswertome—ifyouarestillinpowerthen.”Erhall’sfacedarkenedatmynot-so-subtledig.“Therefore,it’sbestforeveryoneinvolvedifwehaveacivilrelationship.”Ipaused,thenadded,“Onthatnote,Isuggestmonitoringyourtonewhenspeakingwithmeoranymemberoftheroyalfamily.Youareaguesthere.That’sit.”
“You—”Erhalltookasteptowardme,thenblanchedandquicklysteppedback.
Rhyscameupbesideme,hisfaceexpressionlessbuthiseyesdarkerthanathundercloud.“Ishebotheringyou,YourHighness?”
Erhallglaredathimbutwiselykepthismouthshut.
“No.TheSpeakerwasjustleaving.”Iflashedapolitesmile.“Weren’tyou,Mr.Speaker?”
TheSpeaker’slipsthinned.Hegavemeatightnodandacurt“YourHighness”beforespinningonhisheelandmarchingaway.
“Whatdidhesaytoyou?”MenacerolledoffRhysinpalpablewaves,andIwascertainhewouldhuntErhalldownandsnaphisneckifIgavetheokay.
“Nothingworthrepeating.Really,”IrepeatedwhenRhyscontinuedglaringatthespotwhereErhallhadstood.“Forgetabouthim.”
“Hewasabouttograbyou.”
“Hewouldn’thave.”Iwasn’tsurewhatErhallhadplannedtodobeforeRhysshowedup,buthewastoosavvytolosehiscoolinpublic.“Please,dropit.Ijustwanttosleep.It’sbeenalongnight.”
Ididn’twanttowastemoreenergyonErhall.Hewasn’tworthit.
Rhyscomplied,thoughhedidn’tlookhappyaboutit.Thenagain,herarelylookedhappy.
Heescortedmetomyroom,andwhenwearrivedatmydoor,hepulledsomethingoutofhissuitpocket.
“Yourbirthdaypresent,”hesaidgruffly,handingmearolled-upsheetofpapertiedwitharibbon.“Nothingfancy,butIhaditandthoughtyoumightlikeit.”
Mybreathcaught.“Youdidn’thavetogetmeanything.”
Weneverboughteachotherbirthdaypresents.Themostwedidwasbuyeachotherameal,andeventhen,wepretendeditwasforsomethingotherthantheother’sbirthday.
“It’snotabigdeal.”Rhyswatched,shoulderstense,whileIcarefullyuntiedtheribbonandunrolledthepaper.
OnceIsawwhatwasonit,Igasped.
Itwasme.
Adrawingofme,tobeexact,inapoolsurroundedbyhillswiththeoceaninthedistance.Headtippedback,smileonmyface,lookingfreerandhappierthanIeverrememberedfeeling.Thecurveofmylips,thesparkleinmyeyes,eventhetinymolebeneathmyear…
He’dcaptureditallinexquisite,painstakingdetail,andlookingatmethroughhiseyes,IbelievedIwasthemostbeautifulwomanintheworld.
“It’snotjewelryoranythinglikethat,”Rhyssaid.“Keepitifyouwantortossit.Idon’tcare.”
“Tossit?”Iclutchedthedrawingtomychest.“Areyoukidding?Rhys,thisisbeautiful.”
Mywordshungintheair,andwerealizedatthesametimeI’dcalledhimbyhisnameagain.MyfirsttimedoingsosinceCostaRica.
Butitfeltrightbecause,atthatmoment,hewasn’tMr.Larsen.HewasRhys.
AndRhyshadgivenmethebestgiftI’deverreceived.Hewasright—itwasn’tafancypurseordiamondjewelry,butIwouldmuchratherhaveonesketchfromhimthanahundredTiffanydiamonds.
Anyonecouldbuyadiamond.Nooneexcepthimcould’vedrawnmethewayhedid,anditdidn’tescapemynoticethiswasthefirsttimehe’deversharedhisartwithme.
“It’sallright.”Heshrugged.
“It’snotallright,it’sbeautiful,”Irepeated.“Seriously,thankyou.I’lltreasurethisforever.”
IneverthoughtI’dseetheday,butRhysblushed.Actuallyblushed.
Iwatchedinfascinationastheredspreadacrosshisneckandcheeks,andthedesiretotraceitspathwithmytonguegrippedme.
Butofcourse,Icouldn’tdothat.
Icouldtellhewantedtosaysomethingelse,butwhateveritwas,hethoughtbetterofit.“It’snosecurityalarm,butIcansavethatforChristmas,”hesaidwithalopsidedsmile.
Igrinned,giddyfromthecombinationofhisgiftandhisjoke.TherewasnothingIlovedbetterthanseeingthenormallyseriousRhysjokearound.“I’llholdyoutothat.”
“Goodnight,princess.”
“Goodnight,Mr.Larsen.”
Thatnight,IlayinbedandstaredatRhys’sdrawinginthemoonlightfilteringthroughthecurtains.IwishedIwasthatgirlagain.Notyetcrownprincess,soakingupthesuninaremotetownwherenoonecouldfindme.ButIwasn’t.
PerhapsIlovedRhys’sdrawingsomuchnotonlybecausehewastheartist,butbecauseitimmortalizedaversionofmyselfIcouldneverbeagain.
Igentlyrolledthesketchupandtuckeditintoasafecornerofmybedsidedrawer.
Part-TimePrincess.
BeingthemonarchofEldorrarequiresmorethanaprettyface.
Letmebeclear,Mr.Speaker.Ihavenointentionofabdicating,steppingaside,orhandingmyresponsibilitiestoanyoneelse.
Untilnow,I’dbeenapassiveparticipantinmyownlife,lettingothersmakemydecisions,thepressrunroughshodoverme,andthelikesofErhallcondescendtome.
Notanymore.Itwastimetotakemattersintomyownhands.
ThegameofEldorranpoliticswasabattlefield,andthiswaswar.25Rhys
Someoneoncesaidhellwasotherpeople.
Theywereright.
Specifically,hellwaswatchingotherpeopleswanaroundanicerink,drinkinghotchocolateandmakinggooglyeyesateachotherliketheywereinthemiddleofagoddamnHallmarkmovie.
Itwasn’tevenChristmasseason,forfuck’ssake.Itwasworse.
ItwasValentine’sDay.
AmuscleflexedinmyjawasBridget’slaughterfloatedover,joinedbySteffan’sdeeperlaugh,andtheurgetomurdersomeone—someonemalewithblondhairandanamethatbeganwithS—intensified.
Whatwassofuckinghilarious,anyway?
Icouldn’timagineanythingbeingthatfunny,leastofallsomethingSteffantheSaintsaid.
BridgetandSteffanshouldn’tevenbeonadaterightnow.Itwasonlyfourdaysafterherbirthdayball.Whothehellwentonadatewithsomeonetheymetfourdaysago?Thereshouldbebackgroundchecks.Redtape.Twenty-four-sevensurveillancetomakesureSteffanwasn’tsecretlyapsychokilleroradulterer.
Princessesshouldn’tgoonadateuntiltherewasatleastayear’sworthofdatatocombthrough,inmyopinion.Fiveyears,tobeonthesafeside.
Unfortunately,myopinionmeantjackshittotheroyalfamily,whichwashowIfoundmyselfatAthenberg’sbiggestice-skatingrink,watchingBridgetsmileupatSteffanlikehe’dcuredworldhunger.
Hesaidsomethingthatmadeherlaughagain,andhisgrinwidened.Hebrushedastraystrandofhairoutofherface,andmyhandtwitchedtowardmygun.MaybeIwould’vepulledit,hadreportersnotpackedtherink,snappingpicturesofBridgetandSteffan,recordingontheircameras,andlive-tweetingthedatelikeitwasanOlympicevent.
“Theymakesuchacutecouple,”thereporternexttome,acurvybrunetteinabrightpinksuitthathurtmyeyes,cooed.“Don’tyouthinkso?”
“No.”
Sheblinked,clearlysurprisedbymycurtresponse.“Whynot?Doyouhavesomethingagainsthislordship?”
Icouldpracticallyseehersalivatingattheprospectofajuicystory.
“I’mstaff,”Isaid.“Ihavenoopinionsaboutmyemployer’spersonallife.”
“Everyonehasopinions.”Thereportersmiled,remindingmeofasharkcirclinginthewater.“I’mJas.”Sheheldoutherhand.Ididn’ttakeit,butthatdidn’tdeterher.“Ifyouthinkofanopinion…oranythingelse…”Asuggestivenotecreptintohervoice.“Givemeacall.”
Shepulledabusinesscardoutofherpurseandtuckeditintomyhand.Ialmostletitfalltothefloor,butIwasn’tthatmuchofanasshole,soImerelypocketeditwithoutlookingatit.
Jas’scameramansaidsomethingtoherinGerman,andsheturnedawaytoanswerhim.
Good.Icouldn’tstandnosypeopleorsmalltalk.Besides,Iwasbusy—busytryingnottokillSteffan.
I’drunabackgroundcheckonhimbeforetoday’sdate,andonpaper,hewasfuckingperfect.ThesonoftheDukeofHolstein,oneofthemostpowerfulmeninEldorra,hewasanaccomplishedequestrianwhospokesixlanguagesfluentlyandgraduatedtopofhisclassfromHarvardandOxford,wherehestudiedpoliticalscienceandeconomics.Hehadawell-establishedrecordofphilanthropyandhislastrelationshipwithanEldorranheiressendedonamicabletermsaftertwoyears.Basedonmyinteractionswithhimsofar,heseemedfriendlyandgenuine.
Ihatedhim.
Notbecausehegrewupinalifeofprivilege,butbecausehecouldfreelytouchBridgetinpublic.Hecouldtakehericeskating,makeherlaugh,andbrushherhairoutofhereye,andnoonewouldblinkaneye.
Meanwhile,allIcoulddowasstandthereandwatch,becausewomenlikeBridgetweren’tmeantformenlikeme.
“You’llneveramounttoanything,youlittlepieceofshit,”Mamaslurred,hereyesmeanandhatefulassheglaredatme.“Lookatcha.Uselessandscrawny.Ishould’vegottenridofyouwhenIhadthechance.”
Istayedquiet.ThelasttimeItalkedback,shebeatmesohardwithherbeltI’dbledthroughmyshirtandcouldn’tsleeponmybackforweeks.I’dlearnedthebestwaytohandleherbadmoodswastohopesheeventuallyforgotIwasthere.Thatusuallyhappenedaftershewashalfwaythroughwhateverbottleshewasdrinking.
“Ifitwasn’tforyou,I’dbeoutofthisstinkin’townbynow.”
Resentmentpouredoffherinwaves.Mamastoodbythetable,wearingherfadedpinkrobeandchain-smokingacigarette.Hercheekswerepaleandsunken,andeventhoughshewasonlyinherlatetwenties,shecouldpassforherforties.
Ituckedmyhandsbeneathmyarmsandtriedtoshrinkintomyselfwhileshecontinuedtorant.ItwasFridaynight.IhatedFridaynightsbecauseitmeantIhadanentireweekendofjustMamaandme.
“Wasteofspace…nothinglikeyourfather…areyoulisteningtome,youpieceofshit?”
Istaredatthecracksintheflooruntiltheyblurredtogether.Oneday,Iwouldgetoutofhere.Somehow,someway.
“Isaid,areyoulisteningtome?”Mamagrabbedmyshouldersandshookmesohardmyteethrattled.“LookatmewhenI’mtalkingtoyou,boy!”ShebackhandedmesohardIstumbled,thepainmakingmyearsring.
Mybodytwisted,andIsawitcoming,butIdidn’thavetimetobracemyselfbeforethecornerofthediningtablesmashedintomyheadandeverythingwentblack.
Iblinked,andthesmellofoldspaghettisauceandvodkafaded,replacedbythatoffreshiceandJas’soverpoweringperfume.
BridgetandSteffanskatedover,andthecameraswentcrazy.
Click.Click.Click.
“…forawhile,”Steffansaid.“ButIwouldlovetotakeyououtagainwhenIreturn.”
“Areyougoingsomewhere?”Iasked
Itwasinappropriateformetobuttintotheirconversation,butIdidn’tgiveafuck.
Steffancastastartledglanceinmydirection.“Yes.Mymotherfellandbrokeherhipyesterday.She’sfine,butshe’srecoveringatourhouseinPreoria.She’squitelonelywithmyfatherhereinsessionforParliament,soI’llbestayingwithheruntilshefeelsbetter.”
Heansweredwithfullgraciousness,whichonlyannoyedmemore.Theharderhewastohate,themoreIhatedhim.
“Howsad,”Isaid.
Steffanpaused,clearlyunsurehowtoreadmytone.
“Hopefully,sherecoverssoon.”Bridgetshotmealookofmildrebuke.“Now,aboutthathotchocolate…”
SheguidedhimtowardthehotchocolatestandattheotherendoftherinkwhileIfumed.
TakingapermanentpositionasBridget’sbodyguardmeantI’dhavetodealwithseeingherdateotherpeople.Iknewthat,andthatwouldbemycrosstobear.
Ijusthadn’texpectedittohappensosoon.
She’ddatedinNewYork,butthathadbeendifferent.Shehadn’tlikedanyofthoseguys,andshehadn’tplannedonmarryingoneofthem.
Acidgnawedatmygut.
Thankfully,thedateendedsoonafter,andIwhiskedherintothecarbeforeSteffancouldpullanyfirstdatekissbullshit.
“Initialrecoveryforabrokenhiptakesonetofourmonths,”Isaidaswedrovebacktothepalace.“Toobadforhislordship.Whatshittytiming.”
Evenfatedidn’tthinkitwasagoodpairing.Ifitdid,itwouldn’thavepulledSteffanawaysosoonafterhemetBridget.
I’dneverbelievedinfate,butImighthavetosendherabig,fatthankyoucardlater.Imighteventossinsomechocolatesandflowers.
Bridgetdidn’ttakethebait.“Actually,it’sperfecttiming,”shesaid.“I’llbeawayfromAthenbergforafewweeksaswell.”
Ieyedherintherearviewmirror.Thatwasfuckingnewstome.
“It’snotconfirmedyet,sodon’tgivemethatlook,”shesaid.“I’veproposedgoingonagoodwilltouraroundthecountry.Meetwithlocalsandsmallbusinesses,findoutwhat’sontheirmindsandwhatissuesthey’refacing.I’vegottenalotofcriticismfornotbeingintouchwithwhat’shappeninginEldorra,and,well,they’reright.”
“That’sagreatidea.”IturnedontoKing’sDrive.
“Youthinkso?”AnoteofrelieftemperedtheuncertaintyinBridget’svoice.
“I’mnoexpertonpolitics,butitsoundsrighttome.”
Bridgetmaynotwanttobequeen,butthatdidn’tmeanshewouldn’tmakeagreatone.Mostpeoplethoughtthemostimportantqualityinaleaderwasstrength,butitwascompassion.Strengthmeantjackshitwhenyoudidn’tuseitfortherightreasons.
LuckilyforherandforEldorra,shehadbothinspades.
“Thekingstillhastoapproveit,”shesaidafterweparkedandwalkedtothepalaceentrance.“ButIdon’tanticipatehimsayingno.”
“Youmeanyourgrandfather.”Royalsdidthingsdifferently,butitweirdedmeouthowformaltheywerewitheachothersometimes.
Bridgetflashedaquicksmileasweenteredthegrandfronthall.“Inmostcases,yes.Butinmatterslikethis,he’smyking.”
“Speakingoftheking…”
Webothstiffenedatthenewvoice.
“…Hewantstoseeyou.”Andreasswaggeredintoview,andirritationcurledthroughme.Ididn’tknowwhatitwasabouthimthatbuggedmesomuch,butBridgetdidn’tlikehim,andthatwasgoodenoughforme.“Howwasthedate?Didyougetamarriageproposalyet?”
“Youneedtofindanewhobbyifyou’rethatinvestedinmylovelife,”Bridgetsaidevenly.
“Thankyou,butIhaveplentyofhobbiestokeepmeoccupied.Forinstance,IjustcamefromameetingwithHisMajestyandLordErhallonthetaxreformlegislation.”AndreassmiledatBridget’ssurprise,whichshequicklycoveredup.“Asyoumayknow,I’minterestedintakinguppolitics,andtheSpeakerwaskindenoughtoletmeshadowhimforafewweeks.Seehowitallworks.”
“Likeanintern,”Bridgetsaid.
Andreas’ssmilesharpened.“Onewho’slearningquitealot.”Heslidhisglancetowardme.“Mr.Larsen,goodtoseeyouagain.”
WishIcouldsaythesame.“YourHighness.”IloathedaddressinghimwiththesametitleasBridget.Hedidn’tdeserveit.
“HisMajestyiswaitingforyouinhisoffice,”AndreastoldBridget.“Hewantstoseeyou.Alone.Now,ifyou’llexcuseme,Ihavesomepressingmattersthatrequiremyattention.Thoughnoneasexcitingasadateatanice-skatingrink,I’msure.”
Ittookallmyself-controlnottoknockallhisteethout.
“Saytheword,andIcanmakeitlooklikeanaccident,”IsaidafterAndreaswasoutofearshot.
Bridgetshookherhead.“Ignorehim.He’sbeenasataniclittleturdsincewewerechildren,andhethrivesontheattention.”
Astartledlaughroseinmythroat.“Tellmethewords’sataniclittleturd’didn’tjustleaveyourmouth,princess.”
Sherespondedwithaslysmile.“I’vecalledhimworseinmyhead.”
That’smygirl.
ItwasnicetoseeglimpsesoftherealBridgetshinethrough,evenwhenshewasweigheddownwithalltheroyalbullshit.
Whileshemetwiththeking,Ireturnedtotheguesthouse,thoughIsupposeditwasmyactualhousenowthatIwasworkingherepermanently.
I’djustenteredmyroomwhenmyphonerang.“Yeah.”
“Hellotoyou,too,”Christiandrawled.“Peoplehavenophonemannersthesedays.It’ssuchashame.”
“Gettothepoint,Harper.”Iplacedhimonspeakerandyankedmyshirtovermyhead.IwasabouttotossitinthelaundrybasketwhenIpaused.Lookedaround.
Icouldn’tputmyfingeronit,butsomethingwasoff.
“Alwaysthecharmer.”TherewasashortpausebeforeChristiansaid,“Magda’sgone.”
Ifroze.“Whatdoyoumean,gone?”
I’dspentamonthguardingMagdaatChristian’srequestuntilanotherhand-selectedguardfinishedhiscontractwithhispreviousclientandtookover.ItwaswhyIcouldn’treturntoEldorraearlier.
“Imean,gone.Roccowokeupthismorning,andshe’ddisappeared.Notrippedalarms,nothing.”
“Youcan’tfindher?”
Christiancouldfindanyoneandanythingwitheventhesmallestdigitalfootprint.Hiscomputerskillswerelegendary.
Hisvoicechilled.“IcanandIwill.”
IsuddenlyfeltsorryforanyonewhohadahandinMagda’sdisappearance.ButtheydeservedwhatwascomingtothemiftheywerestupidenoughtocrossChristianHarper.
“Whatdoyouneedmetodo?”
“Nothing.I’lltakecareofit.Justthoughtyoushouldknow.”Christian’sdrawlreturned.Evenwhenhewasfurious,asIimaginedhemustbeovergettingone-upped,hecouldactlikeeverythingwasjustdandy…beforeheguttedtheoffendingpartylikeafish.“Howgoesitwiththeprincess?”
“Fine.”
“Heardshewentonadatetoday.”
Aveinpulsedinmyforehead.FirstAndreas,nowhim.Whydideverypersoninsistonbringingthatup?“Iwasthere.Butthankyouforthebreakingnews.”
Thebastardlaughed.
Ihungup,cuttinghimoff.Itwasturningintoahabit,butifhehadaproblemwithit,hecouldtellmetomyface.
Thenagain,ChristianhadbiggerproblemsonhishandsifMagdawasmissing
Ilookedaroundmyroomagain,tryingtopinpointthesourceofmyearliernaggingfeeling.Thewindowswereclosedandlockedfromtheinside,allmybelongingswerewheretheyshouldbe,andnothingwasphysicallyamiss.
Butmygutwasneverwrong,andsomethingtoldmesomeonehadbeeninhererecently…someonewhoshouldn’tbe.26Bridget
MygrandfatherwantedtoknowhowmydatewithSteffanwent.
Thatwasright.ThereasonthekingsummonedmetohisofficeimmediatelyafterIreturnedtothepalacewassoIcouldgivehimadetailedbreakdownofmyfirstdatewiththefutureDukeofHolstein—andpotentialfuturePrinceConsort.Hedidalsoapologizefornotincludingmeinthe“emergency”taxreformmeeting,whichErhallcalledatthelastminute.IwasconvincedErhalldidsoknowingIwouldn’tbeabletoattendbecauseofmydatewithSteffan,butIcouldn’tproveit.
Edvard,meanwhile,wasconvincedSteffanwastheone.Basedonwhat,Iwasn’tsure,butIimaginedSteffan’stitle,photogeniclooks,anddiplomaticdemeanorhadsomethingtodowithit.
Mygrandfatherwasn’ttheonlyone.Thepressandpublicwentwildforthephotosofusattheice-skatingrink,andeveryonewasalreadybuzzingaboutour“burgeoningrelationship”eventhoughI’dspokentoSteffantwiceinmylife.
Still,ElininsistedIcapitalizeontheattentionwithanotherdate.Itwouldbea“private”onewithnoreporters—togivetheillusionofintimacy—butwouldlater“leak”tothepress.Iagreed,ifonlybecauseshewasright.ThePart-TimePrincessheadlineshaddisappeared,replacedbybreathlessspeculationoverthenew“love”inmylife.
Ifonlytheyknew.
Onpaper,Steffanwouldmaketheperfecthusband.Hewasgood-looking,intelligent,kind,andfunny,andhewasbyfarthebestoptionoutoftheso-calledeligiblebachelorswho’dattendedmybirthdayball.
Therewasonlyoneproblem:nochemistry.
None.Zip.Nada.
IhadasmuchromanticinterestinSteffanasIdidthesucculentplantinmyroom.
“It’sbecauseyouhaven’tkissedhimyet,”MikaelasaidwhenItoldheraboutmydilemma.“Atleastkisstheman.Youcantelleverythingbasedononekiss.”
Shemayberight.
So,attheendofmyseconddatewithSteffan,Iworkedupthenervetokisshim,eventhoughitseemedfartoosoon.ButhewasleavingforPreoriatomorrow,andIneededtoknowifthiswouldgoanywhere.Icouldn’tspendweekswondering.
“Imustadmit,Iwassurprisedyouwantedtomeetagainsosoonafterourfirstdate.”Hegavemeashysmile.“Pleasantlysurprised,thatis.”
WewalkedthroughtheRoyalBotanicGardens’large,heatedgreenhouse.Lushflowersbloomedaroundeverycorner,scentingtheairwiththeirsweetperfume,andstringsoflightstwinkledoverheadliketinystars.Itwasasromanticasettingasonecouldhopefor,andItriedtofocusonSteffaninsteadofthescowlingbodyguardshadowingoureverymove.
Iflookscouldkill,Rhyswould’veputSteffansixfeetinthegroundbynow.
ThatwasanotherreasonIwashesitanttokissSteffan.Itseemed…wrongtodothatinfrontofRhys.
God,IwishedI’dthoughtthisthroughbeforehand.
“Ihadfun,”IsaidwhenIrealizedIhadn’trespondedyet.“ThanksforagreeingeventhoughI’msureyou’rebusypreparingforyourtriptomorrow.”
“Ofcourse.”
Steffansmiled.
Ismiled.
Mypalmsslickedwithsweat.
Justdoit.Onetinykiss.Youhavenothingtofeelguiltyabout.YouandRhysaren’tdating.
“I’mnotsurewhy,butIhavethestrangestdesiretogivearundownofallthefunfactsIknowaboutflowers,”Steffansaid.“Didyouknowtulipswereworthmorethangoldinseventeenth-centuryHolland?Literally.”
That’swhathappenswhenI’mnervous.Istartspoutingallsortsofuselessfacts.
AsubtlehintfromSteffanhewantedakisstoo.Hehadnoreasontobenervousotherwise.
Idiscreetlywipedmypalmsonmyskirt.Don’tlookatRhys.IfIdid,Iwouldnevergothroughwithit.
“That’sfascinating.”IwincedwhenIrealizedthatwasthesortofanswersomeonegavewhentheyfoundthesubjectanythingbutinteresting.“Truly.”
Steffanlaughed.“I’mafraidthere’sonlyonewaytostopmefromboringyoudeathwithmyfloralknowledge,YourHighness,”hesaidsomberly.
“What’sthat?”Iasked,distractedbythesensationofRhys’sgazeburningaholeinmyside.
“This.”BeforeIcouldreact,Steffan’slipswereonmine,andeventhoughIknewthekisswascoming,IwasstillsostunnedIcouldonlystandthere
Hetastedfaintlyofmint,andhislipsweresoftastheybrushedagainstmine.Itwasanice,sweetkiss,thekindcameraszoomedinoninmoviesandmostwomenswoonedover.
Unfortunately,Iwasn’toneofthem.Imightaswellbekissingmypillow.
Disappointmentcrashedintome.I’dhopedakisswouldchangethings,butitonlyconfirmedwhatIalreadyknew.Steffan,forallhiswonderfultraits,wasn’tforme.
MaybeIwasna?veforthinkingIcouldfindafiancétowhomIwasattractedtoandwhosecompanyIenjoyed,butIwasonlyinmytwenties.Nomatterhowmucheveryonetriedtorushme,Iwasn’treadytogiveuponmyhopeforloveyet.
Ifinallygatheredenoughofmywitstopullback,butbeforeIcould,aloudcrashshatteredthesilenceinthegreenhouse.
SteffanandIjumpedapart,andmyeyesfellonRhys,whostoodnexttoabrokenpotoflilies.
“Myhandslipped.”Hisvoiceheldnotanounceofapology.
Thatwas,forlackofabetterterm,uttercrap.Rhysdidn’tslip.Hemaybelargerthantheaverageperson,buthemovedwiththelethalgraceofapanther.
Thatwaswhatheremindedmeofrightnow—apantherpreparingtopounceonunwittingprey.Tautface,coiledmuscles,andeyestrainedwithlaserintensityonSteffan,whoshiftedwithdiscomfortbeneathhisstare.
“Attentionallguests,thegardensareclosinginfifteenminutes.”TheannouncementblaredoverthePAsystem,savingsfromthemostawkwardmomentofmylife.“Pleasemakeyourwaytotheexits.Thegardensareclosinginfifteenminutes.Visitorsinthegiftshop,pleasefinalizeyourpurchases.”
“Iguessthat’sourcue.”Steffanheldouthisarmwithasmile,thoughhekeptawaryeyeonRhys.“Shallwe,YourHighness?”
We’dbookedthegreenhouseforourselves,thoughtherestofthegardensremainedopentothepublic.Wecouldprobablystaylongerifwewanted,butIhadnodesiretodragoutthenight.
ItookSteffan’sarmandwalkedtotheexit,wherewesaidgoodbyewithastiltedhalf-hug,half-kissonthecheekandpromisestomeetupagainwhenhereturnedtoAthenberg.
RhysandIdidn’tspeakuntilwereachedourcar.
“You’repayingfortheflowerpot,”Isaid.
“I’lltakecareofit.”
Theparkinglotwasemptyexceptforahandfulofcarsinthedistance,andtensionrolledbetweenus,sothickIcouldpracticallytasteit.
“IknowhefitstheimageofPrinceCharming,butyoumightwanttokeeplooking.”Rhysunlockedthecardoors.“I’veseenyoukissacatwithmorepassion.”
“Isthatwhyyouknockedoverthelilies?”
“My.Hand.Slipped,”hebitout.
MaybeitwasthewineI’dhadatdinner,orthestresswasgettingtome.Whateveritwas,Icouldn’thelpit—Iburstintolaughter.Wild,hystericallaughterthatleftmegaspingforbreathandclutchingmystomachrightthereinthemiddleoftheparkinglot.
“Whatthehellissofunny?”Rhys’sgrumpytoneonlymademelaughharder.
“You.Me.Us.”Iwipedtearsofmirthfrommyeyes.“You’reanex-NavySEALandI’mroyalty,andwe’reinsuchdenialwemightaswellapplyforEgyptiancitizenship.”
Hedidn’tcrackasmileatmyadmittedlylameattemptatajoke.
“Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout.”
“Stopit.”Iwastiredoffighting.“Iaskedyoubefore,andI’maskingyouagain.Whydidyoucomeback,Mr.Larsen?Therealanswerthistime.”
“Igaveyoutherealanswer.”
“Theotherrealanswer.”
Rhys’sjawclenched.“Idon’tknowwhatyouwantmetosay,princess.”
“Iwantyoutosaythetruth.”
Iknewmytruth.Ineededtohearhis.
Mytruth?Therewasonlyonemanwho’devergivenmebutterflieswithakiss.OnemanwhosetouchsetmeonfireandmademebelieveinallthefantasticalthingsI’ddreamedaboutsinceIwasachild.
Love,passion,desire.
“Truth?”
Rhystookasteptowardme,thehardsteelinhiseyesgivingwaytoturbulentthunderstorms.
ItookaninstinctivestepbackuntilmybackhitthesideofourSUV.Therewasanothercarnexttous,andthetwovehiclesformedamakeshiftcocoonthatcrackledwithelectricityasheplantedhishandsoneithersideofmyhead.
“Thetruth,princess,isIcamebackknowingthiswaswhatIsignedupfor.Toseeyoueverydayandnotbeabletotouchyou.Kissyou.Claimyou.”Rhys’sbreathwashotagainstmyskinasheloweredonehandandsliditupmythigh.Itsearedthroughthethicklayersofmyskirtandtightsuntilmypussyclenchedandmynipplestightenedintohardpoints.“IcamebackdespiteknowingthetortureI’dhavetogothroughbecauseIcan’tstayawayfromyou.Evenwhenyou’renotthere,you’reeverywhere.Inmyhead,inmylungs,inmyfuckingsoul.AndI’mtryingveryhardnottolosemyshitrightnow,sweetheart,becauseallIwantistocutoffthatfucker’sheadandserveitonaplatterfordaringtotouchyou.Thenbendyouoverthehoodandspankyourassrawforlettinghim.”Hecuppedmebetweenmylegsandsqueezed.Iwhimperedwithamixtureofpainandpleasure.“Sodon’t.Push.Me.”
Athousandemotionsranthroughmyveins,turningmelightheadedwitharousalanddanger.
BecausewhatRhysjustsaidwasdangerous.Whatweweredoing,feeling,wasdangerous.
ButIcouldn’tbringmyselftocare
“Rhys,I—”
Theblareofacaralarmslicedthroughthestillnightair,followedbyaburstoflaughterinthedistance.Iblinked,someofthehazeclearingfrommyhead,yetIdidn’tmove.
Rhyspushedhimselfoffmewithahardsmile.“There’syourtruth,princess.Happy?”
Itriedagain.“Rhys—”
“Getinthecar.”
Ididasheasked.Iwasn’tstupidenoughtopushhimrightnow.
“Weneedtotalkaboutthis,”Isaidoncewewereontheroad.
“I’mdonetalking.”
Frommyseatintheback,Icouldseethemusclesinhisneckcordedwithanger,andhegrippedthesteeringwheelsotighthisknucklespopped.
Hewasright.Therewouldbenomoretalkingtonight.
IstaredoutthewindowatthepassinglightsofAthenberg.IfIthoughtmylifewascomplicatedbefore,itwasnothingcomparedtothemessIfoundmyselfinnow.27Bridget
TwoweeksaftermydatewithSteffan,IleftformygoodwilltourwithMikaela,Rhys,anotherbodyguardnamedElliott,thepalacephotographerAlfred,Alfred’sassistantLuna,andHenrik,areporterfromtheEldorraHerald.
Everyonelovedmyidea,includingmygrandfather,andthepalacehadworkedaroundtheclocktoputtogethertheperfectitineraryonshortnotice.Wehitallthecountry’smostimportantregions,includingthemanufacturinghubofNorthernKurtlandandtheoilandenergycenterofHesbjerg.IfeltlikeIwascampaigningforanofficeI’dalreadywon,somewhatundeservingly,thankstogeneticlottery.
ButIhadtodoit.Afteryearsoflivingabroad,IneededtoreconnectwiththepeopleofEldorra.Understandthewaytheylived,whatproblemskeptthemupatnight,andwhattheywantedthatwaswithinmypowertogive.Inpractice,theprimeministerandParliamentruledthecountry,buttheroyalfamily,asaninstitution,wieldedconsiderablymorepowerinEldorrathaninothercountries.Itboastedaneighty-ninepercentapprovalrating—farhigherthananypolitician—andthemonarch’sopinionsheldalotofsway.
IfIweretobeagoodqueen,Ineededtogetbackintouchwiththepeople.Itdidn’tmatterthatIdidn’twantthecrown.Itwouldbemineonedayregardless.
“It’sjustusandahandfulofstaff,”Ida,theownerofthedairyfarmwewerevisiting,said.“Ourfarmisonthesmallerside,butwedothebestwecan.”
“Itlookslikeyou’redoingalovelyjob.”Iwalkedthroughthebarn.Itwassmallerthantheotherswe’dvisited,butitwaswell-kept,andthecowslookedhealthy.However,Inoticedhalfofthestallswereempty.“Aretheothercowswiththefarmhands?”
Behindus,Alfred’scameraclickedandwhirred.ThePart-TimePrincessheadlines,whichwerealreadyfadingthankstomydateswithSteffan,hadallbutdisappearedduringthetour,replacedwithpicturesofmetouringfactoriesandreadingtoschoolchildren.
Iwould’vedonethetourevenifnoonecoveredit,though.Ienjoyedmeetingwithlocals,farmorethanIdidanothertediousgala.
“No.”Idashookherhead.“Thedairyindustryisn’tdoingsowell.Milkpriceshavegonedownovertheyears,andalotoffarmsintheareahaveshutdown.Wehadtosellsomeofourcowsforextracash.Plus,thereisn’tenoughdemandformilktojustifykeepingsomanyofthemaround.”
Despiteherwords,sadnessflittedacrossherface.Thefarmhadbelongedtoherfamilyforgenerations,andIcouldonlyimaginehowdifficultitmustbetoseeitshrinkyearafteryear.
“Haveyoucontactedyourministerabouttheissue?”
Accordingtomybriefingmaterials,thedropinmilkpricesresultedfromatradefightbetweenEldorraandafewothercountriesinEurope.TradeandtariffpoliciesfellunderParliament’spurview.
Idashrugged,lookingresigned.“Weusedtowritetoourofficials,butweonlygotformresponses,sowestopped.Noonelistenstousanyway.”
Ifrowned.ThewholepointofParliamentwastorepresentconstituents’concerns.Whatweretheydoingifnottheirjob?
“Youcanwritetome,”Isaidonimpulse.“Allofyourfriendsandneighborscanwritetome.Ifyouhaveanissueyouwantaddressed,writeoremailmeandI’llbringitupwithParliament.Ican’tguaranteelegislation,butIcanatleastmakesureyourvoicesareheard.”
Elincoughed,andHenrikthereporterscribbledfuriouslyinhisnotepad.
Idablinked.“Oh,Icouldn’tpossibly—”
“Iinsist,”Isaidfirmly.“Elin,canyoupleasesharethemailingandemailaddresseswithIdabeforeweleave?Actually,pleasesharethemwitheveryonewe’vemetsofar.”
Elinrubbedhertemple.“Yes,YourHighness.”
Shewaiteduntilwereturnedtotheinnthatnightbeforelayingintome.
“PrincessBridget,thepointofthistouristocreategoodwill,”shesaid.“NotmakethingsmorecomplicatedwithParliament.Doyoureallywantrandompeoplewritingtoyouaboutthesmallestproblem?”
“They’renotrandompeople,they’reEldorrans.”IsatinthecommonroomwithRhyswhileElinstoodbythefireplace,herhandsonherhips.Henrik,Alfred,Luna,andElliotthadalreadyretiredtotheirrooms.“I’mnotchangingpolicy.I’mmerelyhelpingpeoplegettheirvoicesheard.No,”IsaidwhenElinopenedhermouth.“I’mnotarguingaboutthis.It’sbeenalongday,andwehaveanearlymorningtomorrow.”
Hermouthpinched,butsheconcededwithareluctant,“Yes,YourHighness.”
Shewasamasteratchoosingwhichbattlestofight,andapparently,thisonewasn’tworthfighting.
Shedisappearedupthestairs,leavingmealonewithRhys.
Hesatinthecorner,staringattheflamesinthehearthwithabroodingexpression.Whateverwasbotheringhim,itwasn’tusandwhathappenedintheparkinglotoftheRoyalBotanicGardens.Itwassomethingelse.He’dbeenmoodierthanusualsincethetripstarted
“Pennyforyourthoughts,”Isaid.We’dbarelytalkedtheentiretrip,unlessgoodmorningandgoodnightcountedastalking.
Rhysfinallylookedatme.Thefirelightflickeredoverhisface,castingdancingshadowsoverhisstrongjawandchiseledcheekbones
“Youseemhappy,”hesaid.“FarhappierthanI’veseenyouatthosefancypartiesyougotoinAthenberg.”
Henoticed.Ofcoursehehad.HewasthemostobservantmanI’devermet.
“Iloveit,”Iadmitted.“Meetingpeople,hearingtheirconcerns,havingsomethingconcretetocontributeatmynextmeetingwiththeSpeaker.IfeellikeIcanfinallydosomethingmeaningful.LikeIhaveapurposeinlife.”
Thatwasonethingthathadbuggedmesomuchaboutbeingaprincess.Yes,themonarchywassymbolic,butIdidn’twanttospendmylifejustsmilingforthecamerasandgivinglifestyleinterviews.Iwantedsomethingmore.
ButmaybeI’dbeenthinkingaboutmyroleallwrong.Maybe,insteadofconformingtowhatbeingthecrownprincesshadalwaysmeant,IcouldshapeitintowhatIwantedittobe.
AsmallsmiletouchedRhys’slips.“Ialwaysknewyouwouldmakeagreatqueen.”
“I’mnotqueenyet.”
“Youdon’tneedacrowntobequeen,princess.”
Thewordsslidovermyskin,leavingatrailoftinglesintheirwake.IletmyselfsoaktheminforaminutebeforeIchangedthesubject,painfullyawareofwhoandwhatwewere.
Notinglesallowed.
“Areyouenjoyingthetrip?”Iasked.“It’snicetobeoutofthecity.”
Hissmilefaded.“It’sfine.”
“Justfine?”PerhapsIwasbiased,butEldorrawasbeautiful,andwe’dvisitedsomeofthecountry’smoststunningregions.
Heliftedthosebroadshouldersinahalfshrug.“I’mnotthebiggestfanofEldorra.Almostdidn’ttakethisjobsoIwouldn’thavetovisit.”
“Oh.”Itriednottotakeoffense.Ifailed.“Whynot?”
EldorrawaslikeSwitzerlandorAustralia.Noteveryonelovedit,butnoonehatedit.
ThesilencestretchedforseverallongbeatsbeforeRhysreplied.
“MyfatherwasEldorran,”hesaid,hisvoiceflatandemotionless.“Hepromisedmymotherhewouldbringherhereandthey’dlivehappilyeverafter.Sheneverquitegaveuponthatdream,evenafterheleftanditbecameclearhewasn’tcomingback.ShekepttalkingaboutEldorra,howshewasgoingtoleaveourshittownandmovehere.Shehadpostcardsandmagazinearticlesabouttheplacealloverthehouse.ThatwasallIheardgrowingup.Eldorra,Eldorra,Eldorra.Shelovedthefantasyofthecountrymorethanshedidme,andIgrewtohateit.Itbecameasymbolofeverythingwrongwithmychildhood.Still,Imight’vegottenovermyhang-upeventually,but…”
Rhys’shandclenchedandunclenchedaroundhisknee.“Oneofmylastdeploymentswasajointmission.BoththeU.S.andEldorrahadagentswho’dbeencaughtbytheterroristgrouptheyweretracking,andweweresupposedtoretrievethem.Fordiplomaticreasons,wehadtokeepourmissionunderwraps,whichmeantnoairsupport.Weweredeepinhostileterritory,outnumberedandoutgunned.Ourbiggestadvantagewastheelementofsurprise.”
Coldforebodingtrickleddownmyback.
“Thenightofthemission,oneoftheEldorransoldiers—abrash,hotheadedtype—strayedfromtheplan.We’dclashedfromthebeginning,andhehatedwewereusingmyplaninsteadofhis.”Rhys’sexpressionwasbleak.“Insteadofwaitingformysignallikeweagreedupon,hefiredwhenhesawoneofthegroupleadersleavethecompound.Theoneinchargeoftorturingtheprisoners,accordingtoourintel.Itwasahigh-profilekill…butithadn’tbeenourpriority,anditgaveawayourlocation.Everythingwenttoshitafterthat.Wewereswarmed,andoutoftheeightmeninmysquad,threesurvived.Theagentsdidn’tmakeitoutalive,either.Itwasatotalfuckingbloodbath.”
Hiswordstrippedsomethinginmymemory.AunitofEldorransoldiershadallbeenwipedoutinajointmissiongonewrongafewyearsago.Ithadreceivednonstopnewscoverageforaweek,andIbetitwasthesamemissionRhyswastalkingabout.
Horrorandsympathygrippedmychest.“I’msosorry.”
IshouldbeloyaltoEldorra,andIwas,butloyaltydidn’tmeanblindness.Everyonemessedup,andinRhys’scase,thesoldier’smistakehadcosthimthelivesofthoseheloved.
“Don’tbe.It’snotyourfault.”Rhysrubbedahandoverhisface.“Ithappenedyearsago,andyeah,itaddedtomyhugefuckinghang-upsaboutEldorra,butwhat’spastispast.Can’tdoadamnthingaboutitnow.”
Wefellsilentagain,eachlostinourownthoughts,beforeIworkedupthecouragetoask,“Whydidyoutakethejobasmybodyguardthen?IfyouknewitmeanthavingtovisitEldorra.”
Rhys’sexpressionrelaxedintoasmirk.“Yougotarealprettyface.”Hissmirkwidenedatmyexasperatedhuff.“Idon’tknow.Guessitfeltrightatthetime.”
“Wealwaysendupwherewe’remeanttobe,”Isaidsoftly.
Hiseyeslingeredonmine.“Maybe.”
HehatedEldorra,yethe’dnotonlytakenthejobbutmovedherepermanently.Forme.
“Well.”Iforcedasmile,hardlyabletohearmyselfovertheroarofmyheart.“Ishouldturninforthenight.Earlymorningtomorrow.”
RhysrosewhenIdid.“I’llwalkyoutoyourroom.”
Thesoftcreakofthewoodenstairsbeneathourfeetmingledwiththesoundsofourbreaths—mineshallow,Rhys’sdeepandeven.
Didhefeelit,theelectriccurrentrunningbetweenus?Orwasitonlyinmyimagination?
Perhapsnot,becausewhenwearrivedatmyroom,Ididn’topenthedoor,andhedidn’tleave.
Goosebumpspepperedmyflesh,eitherfromRhys’sproximityorfromtheair-conditioningblastingthroughthehall
Evenwhenyou’renotthere,you’reeverywhere.Inmyhead,inmylungs,inmyfuckingsoul.
Hisconfessionfromtheparkinglotechoedinmyhead.Wehadn’ttalkedaboutthatnightsince,butmaybewedidn’tneedwords.
Rhys’seyesdippedtomybreasts.Ifollowedhisgazeandnoticedforthefirsttimejusthowthinmyblousewas.Iworealacebra,butmynipplesweresohardtheyshowedclearlythroughthetwolayersofflimsymaterial.
Ishouldleave,butRhys’smoltengazepinnedmeinplace,erasingmyearlierchillandleavingadeep,fieryacheinitswake.
“Youknowwhatyousaidearlier?Abouthowwealwaysendupwherewe’remeanttobe?”Hegrazedhishandoverthesideofmyneck,andmyheartthuddedsohardagainstmyribcageIhalfexpectedittoleapoutofmychestandintohisarms.
Icouldn’tbringmyselftospeak,butImanagedasmallnod.
Theheavinessoftheaircaressedmelikeaboldlover’stouch,andIknew,deepinmygut,Istoodonadangerousprecipice.Theslightestmovementfromme,andIwouldfall.
ThequestionwaswhetherIwantedtosavemyself,orifthepleasurewouldbeworththeeventualpain.
“Perhaps…”Rhys’stouchskimmeddownmyneckandoverthecurveofmyshoulder.Ishivered,myskinblossomingwithathousandmoregoosebumps.“Iwasalwaysmeanttofindmywaytoyou.”
Oh,God.
Everyounceofoxygendisappearedfrommylungs.
“Youshouldgointoyourroom,princess.”Hisvoicewasfullofgravel,darkandrough.“Gointoyourroomandlockthedoor.”
Ishookmyhead.“Idon’twantto.”
Whateverwashappening,itwasdifferentfromCostaRica.Wedidn’thaveabucketlistorexcusestofallbackon.Itwasjusthimandme,makingachoicethathadbeenalongtimecoming.
Rhysgroaned,andwiththatonesound,Iknewhe’dmadehischoice.
Breathe.Evenwhentherewasnooxygen,noair,nothingbuthim.Breathe.
Hedippedhishead,butinsteadofkissingmymouth,hekissedthehollowofmythroat.Itwassosoftitwasmoreawhisperofbreaththanakiss,butitwasenoughtomakemykneesweaken.
Iwasalightningrod,andRhyswasthestrikethatlitmeupfromtheinsideout.
Iclosedmyeyesandstifledamoanashedraggedhismouthupmyneck,inchbyinch.Justasthelazypossessivenessofhistouchlulledmeintoasemi-stupor,heyankedmetowardhimwithonehandandsankhisteethintothecurvebetweenmyneckandshoulder.Hard.Almostashardasthethickarousalpressingagainstmystomachandcausingmycoretothrobwithneed.Rhys’sotherhandclampedovermymouth,mufflingmysurprisedyelp.
“Tellme.”Hisvoicelowered.“Whatwouldyourboyfriendthinkaboutthis?”
Boyfriend?Ittookaminutebeforeitclicked.Steffan.
We’dgoneontwodates.Hardlyenoughtobeconsideredmyboyfriend,nomatterwhatthepresssaid.
ButIhadafeelingthatargumentwouldn’tholdswaywithRhys,wholoosenedhishandenoughformetogaspout,“Steffan’snotmyboyfriend.”
Theairthickenedwithdanger.
“Idon’tlikehearinghisnameonyourlips.”Lethallysoftwords,eachonedeliveredwiththeprecisionofaguidedmissile.“Butyouwentondateswithhim.Youkissedhim.”Rhys’svoicedarkenedfurther,andhepressedmefurtheragainstthewallwhilewrappingonehandaroundmythroat.“Didyoudothattobaitme,princess?Hmm?”
“N-no.”Iwassoakingwet.Thedarknessofthehall,theroughnessofRhys’svoice,itallwentstraighttotheheatpulsingbetweenmylegs.“Ihadtodatesomeoneaftertheball.AndIdidn’tthinkyoucared.”
“Icareabouteverythingyoudo.EvenwhenIshouldn’t.”Rhys’sgriptightenedonmythroat.“Onelastchance,princess.Tellmetostop.”
“No.”
IwasalltooawarethatElin,Mikaela,andtherestofthegroupslumberedbehindthedoorsoneithersideofus.Itwouldonlytakeonelate-nightbathroombreak,onelightsleepertohearusandblowthesituationtohell.
Butsomehow,thedangeronlyintensifiedthethrillrunningthroughmyveins.Whateverthiswasbetweenus,ithadbeenbuildingsincethemomentRhyssteppedoutofhiscaroutsidemyhouseatThayer,andIcouldn’tstopitevenifIwantedto.
Rhyshissedoutabreathandreleasedmythroat,onlytocurlhishandaroundthebackofmyneck.Heyankedmetohimagain,crushingmymouthtohis,andmyworldimploded.
Tongues,teeth,hands.Wedevouredeachotherliketheworldwouldendandthiswasourlastchancetofeelsomething.Perhapsitwas.ButIwouldn’tthinkaboutthatnow,notwhenourbodiespressedsotightagainsteachotherwemightaswellbeone,andIwasfalling,fallingintoanabyssIneverwantedtogetoutof.
Mikaelahadbeenright.Youcouldtelleverythingfromakiss.
ItuggedonRhys’shair,desperateformore.Moreofhistouch,histaste,hisscent.Iwantedtofilleveryinchofmysoulwiththisman.
Hedrewmybottomlipbetweenhisteethandtugged.Igasped,soarousedIcouldfeelmywetnessslickingmythighs.
“Quiet,”herasped.“Orsomeonewillhear.”HeswepthispalmupmyinnerthightomycoreandletoutalowgroanwhenhediscoveredhowwetIwas.“You’rekillingme,princess.”
Herubbedhisthumbovermyclitthroughmydrenchedpanties,andIfoughtbackamoanasIarchedintohishand.Heslidmypantiestotheside,and—
Abedcreakedbehindthedoornexttomine.
RhysandIfrozeinunison,ourbreathingharsh.
We’dgottensowrappedupinwhatweweredoingwe’dforgottenallaboutthepeoplesleepingjustafewfeetaway.
Weheardanothercreak,followedbytheshuffleofsomeonegettingoutofbed.Henrik,ifthedirectionofthesoundwasanyindication.
Rhyscursedunderhisbreathandpulledhishandaway.Itwasthesmartthingtodo,butIstillwantedtoweepatthelossofcontact.
Heopenedthedoortomyroombehindmeandgentlypushedmeinside.“Tomorrownight.Gazebo,”hesaidinalowvoice.“We’llgotogether.”
Therewasagazebobehindanabandonedfarm,aboutafifteen-minutewalkfromourinn.We’dpassedbyitonourwayintotown.
“Andprincess…don’tbotherwearinganyunderwear.”
Thethrobbingbetweenmylegsintensified.
RhysclosedmydoorrightasHenrik’sopened.TheirvoicesfilteredthroughwoodasItiptoedtomybedandclimbedin,myheadspinningfromtheeventsofthepasthour.
Wouldthepleasurebeworththeeventualpain?
Ionlyhadtolistentothefranticbeatsofmyhearttoknowtheanswer.28Rhys
I’dtriedtoresist.Ireallyhad.
PerhapsIwould’vesucceededhadBridgetbeenbeautifulandnothingelse.Beauty,onitsown,meantnothingtome.Mymotherhadbeenbeautiful,untilshewasn’t—andIdon’tmeanphysically.
Butthatwastheproblem.Bridgetwasn’tbeautifulandnothingelse.Shewaseverything.Warmth,strength,compassion,humor.Isawitinthewayshelaughed,inherempathyasshelistenedtopeople’sproblemsandhercomposureastheyrailedtoherabouteverythingtheythoughtwaswrongwiththecountry
I’dknownshewasmorethanaprettyfacelongbeforethistrip,butsomethinginsidemesnappedlastnight.Maybeitwasthewayshe’dlookedatme,likeshethoughtIwaseverythingtoowhenIwasnothing,ormaybeitwastheknowledgeshecouldberippedawayfrommeatanymoment.ShecouldgetengagednextweekandIwouldloseeventhepossibilityofherforever.
Whateveritwas,iterasedeverybitofremainingself-controlIhad.CostaRicahadbeenacrack,butthis?Thiswasfull-onobliteration.
ThegrassrustledasBridgetandImadeourwaythroughthefieldstowardthegazebo.We’dsnuckoutaftereveryonehadgonetosleep,andeventhoughitwaslate,themoonshonebrightenoughwedidn’tneedthelightsfromourphonestoguidetheway.
Waswhatweweredoing—whatwewereabouttodo—abadidea?Fuckyes.Ourswasastorydestinedforatragicending,butwhenyouwerealreadyonatrainheadedoffthecliff,allyoucoulddowasholdontightandmakeeverysecondcount.
Westayedsilentuntilwereachedthegazebo,whereshewalkedtothemiddleandtookitallin.Besidesthechippedpaint,it’dwithstoodthetestoftimesurprisinglywell.
“Noonecomeshere?”sheasked.
“Notasoul.”I’ddonemyresearch.Thetownhadasmallpopulation,butitsprawledacrossvastacresoffarms.Theinnwasthenearestinhabitedbuilding,andeveryonetherewasasleep.I’dmadesureofthatbeforeItextedBridgettomeetmeinthelobby.
“Good.”Herresponsecameoutslightlybreathless.
SouthernEldorrawasfarwarmerthanAthenberg,andwecouldgetawaywithnotwearingjacketsevenatnight.I’ddonnedmyusualuniformofT-shirt,combatpants,andboots,whileBridgetworeapurpledressthatswirledaroundherthighs.
Idrankherin,notmissingasingledetail.Thewispsofhaircurlingaroundherface,thenervousanticipationinhereyes,thewayherchestroseandfellintimewithmyownunevenbreaths
Partofmewantedtomarchover,hikeupherskirt,andfuckherrightthenandthere.Anotherpartofmewantedtosavorthemoment—thelastwild,beatingsecondsbeforewedestroyedwhateverwasleftofourboundaries.
Iwasarulefollowerbynature.ItwashowI’dsurvivedmostofmylife.ButforBridget,Iwouldbreakeveryruleinthebook.
Itonlytooksixweeksofbeingapartfromherandanothersixoffuckingagonyformetoacceptthetruth,butnowthatIhad,therewasnogoingback.
“So.”Bridgettuckedastrandofhairbehindherear,herhandtrembling.“Nowthatwe’rehere,whatdoyouhaveplanned,Mr.Larsen?”
Ismiled,slowandwicked,andasmall,visibleshiverrippledthroughherbody.
“Ihavelotsofplansforyou,princess,andeverysingleoneendswithmyfingers,tongue,orcockinsideyoursweetlittlecunt.”
Ididn’twastetimebeatingaroundthebush.Thishadbeentwoyearsinthemaking,eversinceIsteppedontoherdrivewayandsawherstaringbackatmewiththosebig,blueeyes.
BridgetvonAschebergwasmineandminealone.Itdidn’tmatterthatshewasn’tminetotake.Iwastakingheranyway,andifIcouldtattoomyselfontoherskin,burymyselfintoherheart,andetchmyselfontohersoul,Iwould
Hereyeswidened,butbeforeshecouldrespond,Iclosedthedistancebetweenusandgraspedherchinwithmyhand
“Butfirst,Iwanttomakeonethingclear.Fromthispointon,you’remine.Noothermantouchesyou.Iftheydo…”Myfingersdugintoherskin.“Iknowseventy-ninewaystokillaman,andIcanmakeseventyofthemlooklikeanaccident.Understand?”
Shenodded,herchestrisingandfallingmorerapidlythanusual.
“Imeanit,princess.”
“Iunderstand.”Definitelybreathless.
“Good.”Iswipedmythumboverherbottomlip.“Iwanttohearyousayit.Whodoyoubelongto?”
“You,”shewhispered.Icouldsmellherarousalalready,sweetandheady,andIcouldn’tholdbackanylonger.
“That’sright,”Igrowled.“Me.”
Igrabbedthebackofherneck,pulledherclose,andcrushedmylipstohers.Shewrappedherarmsaroundmyneck,herbodywarmandpliantagainstmineasIplunderedhermouth.Shetastedlikemintandstrawberries,andIwantedmore.Neededmore.
Myheartwasalouddruminmychest,beatingintimewiththethrobbinginmycock.Allofmysensessharpenedtonear-painfulclarity—thetasteofheronmytongue,thefeelofherskinbeneathmyhands,thesmellofherperfumeandthesoundsofherlittlewhimpersassheclungtomelikeweweredrowningandIwasherlastlifeline.
IbackedBridgetupagainstoneofthewoodenbeams,shovedherdressuparoundherhips,andpartedherthighswithmyknee.IreachedbetweenherlegsandhummedinapprovalwhenIfoundherslickandbareforme.
“Nounderwear.Goodgirl,”Ipurred.“Becauseifyou’ddisobeyedmyorder…”Inippedherbottomlipandthrustafingerintohertight,wetheat,smilingwhenIheardhergasp.“I’dhavetopunishyou.”
HerhipsbuckedupwhenIpushedanotherfingerinsideher.Iworkedtheminandout,slowlyatfirst,thenspeedingupuntilIwasknucklesdeepinsideherandthefilthysoundsofmyfingersfuckinginandoutofhermingledwithhermoans.
Bridget’seyeswerehalf-closed,hermouthhalf-open.Herheadfellbackagainstthebeam,exposingtheslenderlengthofherthroat,andherentirebodytrembledasshenearedorgasm.Islowedmypaceatthelastminute,earningmyselfafrustratedgroan.
“Please.”Sheclutchedatmyarms,hernailsdiggingtinycrescentsintomyskin.
“Pleasewhat?”Ithrustmyfingersintoheragain,hard,untilherbodybowedandsheletoutatinyyelp.“Pleasewhat?”Irepeated.
Sweatbeadedmyskin,andmycockstrainedatmypants,soharditcouldpoundnails.Iwasfuckingdying,desperatetogetinsideher,butIcouldalsowatchherlikethisallnight.Nofakesmiles,noinhibitions,justpleasureandwildabandonmentasherpussyconvulsedaroundmyfingersandcoatedthemwithherjuices.
Sofuckingbeautiful.Sofuckingmine.
“Fuckme,”shegasped.Hernailsdugharderintomybicepsuntilatinybeadofbloodwelledonmyskin.“Pleasefuckme.”
“Suchadirtymouthforaprincess.”IworkedmycockoutofmypantsandslidonacondomusingmyfreehandbeforeIyankedmyfingersout,liftedherup,andhookedherlegsaroundmywaist.“Youknowthere’snogoingbackafterthis.”
“Iknow.”Bridget’seyeswerewideandtrustingandglazedwithlust.
Mychestclenched.Ididn’tdeserveher,butfuckit,Iwasbeyondcaring.
NooneeversaidIwasagoodman,anyway.
IpositionedthetipofmycockatherentranceandwaitedforaheartbeatbeforeIslammedintoherwithoneforcefulthrust.ShewassowetIslidinalmostfrictionlessly,butIcouldstillfeelherpussystretchingandstrugglingtoaccommodatemysize.
Bridgetcriedout,herwallsclampingaroundmelikeavise,andIletoutastringofcurses.
Hot.Wet.Tight.Sotight.
“You’rekillingme,”Igroaned.Idroppedmyforeheadtohersandclosedmyeyes,picturingtheunsexiestthingsIcouldthinkof—broccoli,dentures—untilImusteredenoughcontroltocontinue.
Islidmycockoutuntiljustthetipremained,thenslammedforwardagain.Andagain.Andagain.
Isetupafast,deep,brutalrhythm,makinghertakeeveryinchofmeuntilmyballsslappedagainstherskinandhermoansbecamescreams.
“Shh.You’llwakepeopleup,princess.”Ipushedthenecklineofherdressdown.Herbreastsbouncedwitheachthrust,hernipplespebbledwitharousal,andthesightalmostsetmeoff.
Igrittedmyteeth.Notyet.
IloweredmyheadandlickedandsuckedonhernippleswhileIsavagelyfuckedinandoutofhertight,clenchingpussy.
Bythatpoint,Iwasmoreanimalthanman,drivenbynothingmorethanaprimalneedtoburymyselfintoherasdeepasIcouldandclaimhersocompletelywewouldnevergeteachotheroutfromunderourskin.
Thunderboomedinthedistance,mufflingthesoundsofmygroansandBridget’ssqueals.
Dimly,Irealizeditwasabouttorainandwedidn’thaveanumbrellaoranythingtocoverusonceweleftthegazebo,butI’dworryaboutthatlater.Rightnow,theonlythingthatmatteredwasus.
“Rhys.Oh,God,”Bridgetsobbed.“Ican’t…Ineed—”
“Whatdoyouneed?”Igrazedmyteethoverhernipple.“Youneedtocome?Hmm?”
“Y-yes.”Itcameoutasahalfplea,halfmoan.
Shewaswrecked.Herhairamess,herfacestreakedwithtears,herskinslickwithsweatandhotwitharousal.
IliftedmyheadanddraggedmymouthupherneckuntilIreachedherear,whereIwhispered,“Comeforme,princess.”
Ipinchedhernippleandfuckedintoherwiththehardestthrustyet,andsheexploded,hermouthfallingopeninasoundlessscreamwhilehercuntstrangledmycock.
Thunderboomedagain,closerthistime.
IheldBridget’slimp,shakingbodyupagainstthebeamuntilshecaughtherbreath.Onceshedid,Isetheronthefloor,turnedheraround,andbentherover.
Ihadn’tcomeyet—theoldtrickofrecitingbaseballrostersstillworked—andmybodyvibratedwithbarelycontrolledtension.
“Again?”shepantedasIslidmycockalongherslickfolds.
“Sweetheart,Iwouldn’tbedoingmyjobifyoudidn’tcomeonmycockatleastthreetimestonight.”
ThestormbrokerightasIpushedintoher,andrainlashedsidewaysatusasIfuckedheragainstthewoodenbeam.Lightningrippedthroughthesky,illuminatingthepalecurveofBridget’sshoulderassheclungtotherailingfordearlife.She’dturnedherheadsidewayssohercheekpressedagainstthewood,andIcouldseehermouthfallopenasshestruggledtocatchherbreathbetweenmythrusts.
Iwrappedherhairaroundmyfistanduseditasleveragetomakehertakemedeeper.
“Thisisforallthetimesyoudidn’tlisten.”Isqueezedherassbeforedeliveringasharpslapthatmadeheryelp.“ThisisforBorgia.”Slap.“Andthisisforthegardens.”Slap.
Mypent-upfrustrationovertheyearsbloomedacrossherskininpink,andadarkchuckleroseinmythroatwhenBridgetbuckedharderagainstmewitheachslap.
“Youlikethat?”Ipulledherheadbackbyherhairuntilshewaslookingupatmewithtear-filledeyes.“YoulikegettingyourassslappedwhileIpoundthattightroyalpussywithmyhardcock?”
“Yes.”Thewordbrokeintoamoan,andherkneesbuckled.
Ihissedoutabreath.God,shewasfuckingperfect.Ineveryway.
Iwrappedonearmbelowherwaist,holdingherup,andbentoverheruntilmychestpressedagainstherback.Icoveredmostofherbodywithmine,shieldingherfromthesplashesofrainasIburiedmyselfsodeepinsideherIdidn’tthinkIwouldevergetout.
Ididn’twantto.Thisrighthere,thiswasallIwanted.
Bridget.JustBridget.
“Oh,God,Rhys!”
Thesoundofmynameonherlipsassheshatteredaroundmeagainfinallydidmein.
Icamerightafterherwithaloudgroan,myorgasmrippingthroughmewiththeforceofahurricane.IsworeIlostmyhearingforasecondthere,butwhenIcamebacktomysenses,everythingseemedamplified.Thesmelloftherainandearthmingledwithsexandsweat,thesoundofthewaterpatteringagainstthewood,thecoolnessofthedropletsonmyoverheatedskin.
Bridgettrembledbeneathme,andIliftedherupandplacedherdeeperintothegazebo,awayfromtherain.
“Youokay,princess?”MybreathsfinallyeasedintosomethingresemblingnormalasIslidthestrapsofherdressbackontohershouldersandsmoothedherhairoutofherfacebeforegivingherasoftkiss.
Iwasn’tasweet,loveytypeofguyinanyareaofmylife,butperhapsI’dbeentooroughwithher.IfIhadmyway,wewould’vedonethisinaproperroomwithaproperbed,butthewallswerepaperthinattheinn.
Bridgetnodded,stillshakingsomewhat.“Wow.”
Ichuckled.“I’lltakethatasagoodthing.”Ikeptanarmaroundher,stillholdingherup.Afierceprotectivenesswashedovermeasshepressedherfaceintomychest.
God,thiswoman.ShehadnoideathethingsIwoulddoforher.
Westayedinthegazebountiltherainstopped,whichthankfullydidn’ttakelong.Iwould’vebeenhappytostaythereforever,butIwantedtomakesureBridgethadtimetoshowerandgrabsomeshuteyebeforeourmorningcalltime.
“Youdon’thavetocarryme.Icanwalkagain.”BridgetlaughedasIscoopedherupinmyarmsandsetoffbacktotheinn.“Idon’tknowabouttomorrow,though.IhaveafeelingI’mgoingtobesore.”
“Ground’swetandit’sdark,”Isaid.Acloudhaddriftedoverthemoon,andIhadtowalkslowlytomakesureIdidn’tstepinanythingIdidn’twanttostepin.“BetterifIcarryyou,sweetheart.”
Shedidn’trespond,butshetightenedherarmsaroundmyneckandpressedasoftkisstomyjawthatmademyhearttwistinthestrangestway.
Thenagain,nothingaboutmylifehadbeennormalsinceBridgetvonAschebergcameintoit.29Bridget
Afterournightinthegazebo,RhysandIdidn’tgetanymoretimealoneduringthetour.ButwhenwereturnedtoAthenbergafewdayslater,wemanagedtosneakintrystsdespitemypackedschedule.
Theguesthouseatmidnight,aftereveryonehadgonetosleep.Thesupplyclosetonthethirdfloorofthestaffquartersduringlunchhour.Myfavoriterooftopabovethekitchen.Noplacewasoff-limits.
Itwasrisky,dangerous,andoutofcharacterforbothofus,givenhowpracticalweusuallywere,butwecouldn’thavestoppedifwewantedto.We’dwaitedtoolongandneededittoomuch.
Itwasacrazyridethatwouldeventuallyhavetoend,andwhilewenevertalkedaboutthefuture,we’dcometoasilentagreementtoenjoyeverysecondwecould.
But,asmuchasIwantedtospendallmydaysandnightswithRhys,Ihadotherresponsibilities,andthreeweeksaftermyreturntoAthenberg,Ifoundmyselfinmygrandfather’soffice,waitingforErhalltofinishspeakingsoIcouldpresentmyagendaitems.
“Letmeguess.Youhaveanothercitizenissueyou’dliketobringup.YourHighness,”Erhalladdedtightly,nodoubtrememberingmygrandfatherwasalsointheroom.
Irespondedwithaserenesmile.“Yes.Thatiswhatwedo,isn’tit?HelpthecitizensofEldorra?”
Erhall,Edvard,Andreas,andIsataroundEdvard’sdeskfortheking’sweeklymeetingwiththeSpeaker.ItwasmythirdsuchmeetingsinceIreturnedfrommygoodwilltour,whichhadbeenasmashsuccess.HenrikranaglowingprofileofmeintheEldorranHerald,andmypublicapprovalratingshotskyhigh,nearlyrivalingthatofmygrandfather’s.
Ipersonallydidn’tcaremuchaboutratings,butitwasoneofthemostpowerfulweaponsinmyarsenalsinceIdidn’tholdanyactualpoliticalpower.IalsotookgreatpleasureinthefactErhall’sratingwasnearlytwentypointslowerthanmine.
“Ofcourse.”Erhallsmootheddownhistie,lookinglikehe’djustsuckedonalemon.“Whatwouldyouliketodiscuss?”
I’dbuiltonmyimpulsivedecisionatIda’sfarmandcreatedanofficialCitizenLettersprogrambywhichEldorranscouldwriteoremailmewiththeirconcerns,andIacknowledgedeveryone.Themostimportantones,IbroughttoErhall’sattentionduringtheweeklymeetings.Heprobablywouldn’tdoanythingaboutthemajorityofthem,butIhadtotry.
“It’sabouttheroadsinRykhauver…”Ilaunchedintomypresentation,ignoringAndreas’ssmirk.Ihatedthathewasthere,buthewasstill“shadowing”Erhall,andsincehewassecondinlinetothethrone,nooneobjectedtohimjoiningthemeetings.
Itdidn’tmatter.HewouldneverbeKing,notifIhadanythingtosayaboutit—and,ascrownprincess,Ihadplentytosay.
“I’lllookintotheissue,”Erhallsaid.CodeforI’mgoingtopretendthisconversationneverhappenedafterIleavethisroom“Now,YourMajesty,aboutthetaxreform…”
Edvardcastasympatheticglanceinmydirection.Herefrainedfromfightingmybattlesformebecauseitwouldn’tlookgoodifIrantohimforhelpeverytimeErhallwasajerk,butI—
OhGod.Inearlyjumpedoutofmyseat.
Erhallpausedandgavemeastrangelookbeforeresuminghisspeech.
Ipressedmythighstogetherbeneaththetableasthesilentbutpowerfulvibrationsresumedbetweenmylegs.
I’mgoingtokillhim.
RhyshadorderedmetowearavibratoralldayandI,likeanidiot,hadagreed.It’dsoundedhot,andRhyshadaminute-by-minutebreakdownofmyday.He’dkeptthevibratoroffduringmymeetings,sowhy—
Myeyesfellonthegrandfatherclockinthecorner.
Dammit.Wewererunningover.Fifteenminutesover,tobeexact.RhysprobablythoughtIwasoutbynow.
AbeadofsweatformedonmyforeheadasItriednottomoan,squirm,ordoanythingthatmightgivemeaway.
“Areyoualright?Youlook…flushed.”Andreasraisedhiseyebrows,hiseyessharpashestaredatme.
“Yes.”Iforcedasmile.“Perfectlyallright.”
“Youdon’tlooksowell,”Edvardsaid,soundingconcerned.
DearGod,everyminutetheyspentaskingaboutmewasanotherminutethemeetingdraggedon.Itneededtoend,soon,beforeIcameinthemiddleofadiscussionaboutfreakingtaxlegislation.
“It’sjustalittlehotinhere.Please,don’tstoponmyaccount,”Imanaged.
Thevibrationsratchetedupanotch,andmynailsdugintomyskinsoharditleftlittlegroovesinmypalms.
Edvardlookedunconvinced,butheandErhallresumedtheirconversationwhileAndreaswatchedmewithnarrowedeyes.
Normally,Iwouldgivehimanicystarerightback,butIcouldn’tconcentrateonanythingexceptthethrobbingofmyclitandtheraspofmynipplesagainstmybra.
Thankfully,themeetingendedsoonafter.IbidEdvardahastygoodbye,gaveErhallacurtnod,andignoredAndreascompletelybeforeexitingasnormallyasIcould.Ididn’twanttoraisetheirsuspicionsanyfurtherbyrunningfromtheroom,evenifIwasahair’sbreadthawayfromorgasming.
TheinstantIwasinthehall,thevibrationsceased.
Ofcoursetheydid.
Ismoothedahandoverthefrontofmyskirtandmanagedtowalksemi-normallytomyoffice,whereRhyswaitedforme.
MyheartleapedwhenIsawhimleaningagainstmydesk.Eyesdark,armscrossedoverhischest,hisposecasualandarrogant.
“Thatwascruel.”Ipinnedhimwithasternstareevenasmyclitthrobbedagain—notfromthevibrator,butfromthesightofhim.Thestubble,thetattoos,thewayhelookedatmelikeIwastheonlypersonintheworld…Stop.Focus.“Iwasinameeting.”
“Itwassupposedtoendhalfanhourago.”
“Itranover.”
“Clearly.”Rhys’seyeslitupwithawickedgleam.“Comehere,princess.”
Ishookmyhead,eventhoughIwassoturnedonthefaintestgustofairagainstmyskincausedmybreathtoquicken.Itwastheprincipleofthematter.“No.”
“Thatwasn’tarequest.”
Mynippleshardenedintoachingpointsathisauthoritativetone,andIfoldedmyarmsovermychesttohidethem.“Youcan’ttellmewhattodo.”
“Come.Here.”Hisvoicedroppedtoadangerouslysoftdecibel.“BeforeIbendyouovermylapandspankyousohardyouwon’tbeabletositfordays.”
Mycoreclenchedatthementalimage,andIalmostrefusedsohecoulddoexactlythat.Butafterhoursofteasing,Icouldn’twaitanymore,andIwalkedforwardonshakylegsuntilIstoodinfrontofhim.
“There.Thatwasn’tsohard.”Rhysgrabbedthebackofmyneckandpulledmetowardhim.“Remember.Inpublic,you’remyprincess,butinprivate,you’remywhore.”HisotherhandreacheddownandpinchedmyswollenclituntilIsquealed,andthebeginningtremorsofanorgasmrockedthroughme.“You’lldowhatIsay,whenIsayit,andyou’lltakemycockhoweverIwant.Won’tyou?”
OhGod.Anotherrushofmoisturefloodedbetweenmylegs.
“Yes,”Ibreathed.
Thewordhadn’tfullyleftmymouthbeforeheswalloweditwithahard,knee-bucklingkiss,andanyvestigesofresistancecrumbled.
Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhisneck,revelinginthetasteandfeelofhim.We’dbeeninsatiablesincethenightinthegazebo,andIstillcouldn’tgetenough.
Thesneakingaround,thelate-nighttrystsandloadedglancesinroomsfullofpeople…itcouldallcrashdownaroundusatanysecond.Butforonceinmylife,Ididn’tcare.
I’dneverfeltmorealive.
“Howwasyourday,sweetheart?”Rhysbreathedagainstmylips,histonegentlingfrommomentsago.
“Good.Frustrating,”IsaidpointedlybeforeI,too,softenedmyvoice.“Imissedyou.”
Ihadn’tseenhimsincebreakfast.
Hiseyescrinkledintoabeautifulsmile,andmyheartsoaredsohighIthoughtImightfloatofftheground.
IfIcouldhaveanythreethingsintheworld,itwouldbeworldpeace,myparentsback,andRhys’ssmilesforever.
“Imissedyoutoo.”Hegavemeasofter,lingeringkissbeforeheslidhishandupmyinnerthighagainandalowgroanescapedhisthroat.“Youaresoaked.”Histonereturnedtothehard,commandingoneIwasusedto.“Bendoverandliftyourskirt.”
Iobeyed,theprospectofhavinghiminsidemesoonmakingmyfingersshakeasIbentoverthedeskandyankedmyskirtovermyhips.
“Takeoffyourunderwear.”
Islippedmyhandintothewaistbandofmypantiesandshimmiedthemdownuntiltheypooledaroundmyankles.
HeatroseonmycheekswhenIrealizedRhysnowhadanunimpededviewofmyvibratorandthemessit’dleftbehind—mypantiescompletelydrenched,mythighsslickwithmyjuices.
Still,Iwasturnedonenoughtobrushpastmyembarrassment.
Igrippedtheedgeofthedesk,mybodytautwithanticipation,buttherewasonlysilence.Nowords,notouch.
Itwistedmyheadinconfusion.
Rhysstoodbehindme,hiseyesravenousashesoakedmein.Betweenhishungrystareandmycurrentposition,Ifeltlikeasacrificiallambwaitingforaliontopounceanddevourme.
“Spreadyourlegswider.Letmeseethatprettypussydrippingforme.”
Heatscaldedmefromheadtotoe,butIdidasheasked.
“Sobeautiful.”Hepalmedmyasswithbothhandsandsqueezed.“WhatwouldthegoodcitizensofEldorrasayiftheycouldseeyounow,hmm?Theirprimandproperprincessbentoverandspreadwide,waitingforahardcocktofuckher.”
Wasitpossibletocomefromwordsalone?BecauseIwasthisclosetodoingso.
“Notjustanycock,”Ipanted.“Yours.Nowareyougoingtokeeptalking,orareyouactuallygoingtofuckme?”
Rhyslaughed.Hemadequickworkofhisbeltandpants,andmymouthdried.Iwouldnevergetoverhowhugehewas.Thick,long,andhard,theheadalreadydrippingpre-cum.
“That’sright.”Hepulledthevibratoroutandpositionedthetipofhiscockatmyentrance.“Mine.Onlymine.Anddon’tyouforgetit,princess.”
Hedroveintomewithonedeepthrust,andmyinitialyelpturnedintoaseriesofwhimperingmoansashepoundedmefrombehind.Theymingledwithhisgrunts,thecreakingofthedeskasitshookbeneaththeforceofhisfucking,andthesoundoffleshslappingagainstflesh.Adelicious,filthysymphonythatmuddledmythoughtsuntilallIcouldfocusonwasthefeelofhimthrustinginandoutofme—
“Bridget?Areyouinthere?”
Mikaela.
Ittookafewsecondsforhervoicetopenetratemysex-drenchedfog,butonceitdid,myeyesflewopenandItriedtostandup,onlyforRhystopushmedownagain.
“Notdonewithyouyet,princess.”Hethrustintomeagainandclappedahandovermymouthtomufflemymoan.
“Rhys,she’srightoutside,”Ihissedwhenheloosenedhisholdenoughformetospeak.Idesperatelywantedtocome,butmystomachchurnedattheprospectofbeingcaught.
Icould’vepretendedIwasn’tthere,butMikaelaandIhadascheduledmeetingI’dcompletelyforgottenaboutuntilnow.
“Thedoor’slocked.”
“Shecouldhearus.”
Wespokeonlyloudenoughfortheothertohear,buttomyparanoidears,wemightaswellbeshouting.
“Thenyoubetterkeepquiet,hmm?”Rhys’shotbreathslidovermyskinashereachedaroundtopinchmynipples.Anotherjoltoflustrocketedthroughme.
“Bridget.”Mikaelasoundedimpatientnow.“Thedoor’slocked.Iseverythingokay?”
“Y-yes.I’m”—Rhysslammedintomewithaparticularlybrutalthrust—“coming!”
Mylastworddevolvedintoagaspasmyorgasmcrashedovermeinatidalwave.
Iburiedmyfaceinmyarmsandbitdowntostiflemyscreams.
Rhys’sbreathingchanged,andasecondlaterhecamewithaquietgruntbeforeslidingoutofme.
Wedidn’thavetheluxuryofbaskinginpost-coitalbliss,andtheaftershocksofmyorgasmwerestillripplingthroughmeaswecleanedourselvesup.
“Oneminute!”IcalledoutforMikaela’sbenefit.
IglaredatRhys,who’dfixedhimselfupinrecordtimeandlookedlikehewastryingnottolaugh.“Thisisn’tfunny.”
“Nicedoubleentendrethereattheend,”hesaidwithasmirk.
I’mcoming.
IflushedasIfinishedstraighteningmyclothesandhair.AquickglanceinthemirrortoldmeIstilllookedabitdisheveled,butIcouldblamethatonrunningaroundthepalaceallday.
“Ialmostmissthedayswhenyouwereanoverbearing,overprotectiveass.”
“Thenyou’llbepleasedtohearI’mstillanoverbearing,overprotectiveass.Andprincess.”Rhys’svoicestoppedmewhenIwashalfwaytothedoor.“You’reforgettingsomething.”
Myfaceflamedwhenheheldupthevibrator.
“Youaretryingtogetusintotrouble.”Isnatchedthevibratorfromhimandwrappedithastilywithatissuebeforeshovingitinsideadeskdrawer.I’ddealwithitlater.
“It’sMikaela.Shedoesn’tnoticeanythingthatdoesn’thavetodowithpartiesandsocietygossip.Youcouldshoveanelephantinfrontofherandsheprobablywouldn’tnotice.YouthinkIwould’vedonethathaditbeenMarkusorElinatthedoor?”
Okay,Mikaelawasn’tthemostobservantpersonontheplanet,butRhyswasexaggerating.Inthiscase,though,Ihopedhewasright.
Iopenedthedoorandfinallyletmyannoyed-lookingfriendin.
“Whattooksolong?”shegrumbled.“Ihavetomeetmymother—”ShestoppedwhenshesawRhys.“Oh,hey,Rhys.Whatareyoudoinghere?”
HewastechnicallyoffdutywhenIwasinthepalace,andIscrambledtothinkofaplausibleexcuse.
“Weweregoingoversecurityplans,”Iimprovised.“ForNik’swedding.Someofitis,uh,confidential.WhichiswhyItooksolongtoanswer.”
NikolaiandSabrinawerestillinCalifornia,buttheyweregettingmarriedinAthenbergandpreparationswereinfullswing.
Mikaelafrowned.“Justthetwoofyou?IthoughttheRoyalGuardwashandlingthat.”
“Personalsecurityplans,”Iamendedquickly.
“Oh.”TheconfusioninMikaela’seyescleared.“Isnowstillagoodtimetomeet?Icancomebackifnot.”
“Nowworks,”Isaid,eventhoughallIwantedwastoshowerandtakeanap.Iwasjustgratefulshedidn’taskanymorequestionsaboutwhyittookmesolongtounlockthedoor.Myexcusewould’veunraveledfasterthanacheapsweaterunderanyscrutiny.
“I’llseeyoulater,YourHighness.LadyMikaela.”Rhysinclinedhisheadandleft,butnotbeforeshootingmeawink.
Ibitbackasmile.
“It’stoobad,”Mikaelasaid,hereyeslingeringonhisbacksideatadlongerthanIwould’velikedbeforethedoorshutbehindhim.
“Whatis?”IabsentmindedlyshuffledsomepapersonmydeskandtriedtopushasidethementalimagesofwhatI’dbeendoingonthatexactspottenminutesago.
“ThatRhysisabodyguard.”Mikaelareturnedherattentiontomeandploppedintothechairoppositemine.“Heissogorgeous.Idon’tknowhowyouseehimeverydaywithoutdrooling.Ifheweren’tacommoner…”Shefannedherself.“Iwouldbealloverthat.”
Myentirebodystiffened,formultiplereasons.
“Justbecausehedoesn’thaveatitledoesn’tmeanhe’slessthananyonewhodoeshaveone.”
Ishould’vegonealongwithwhatshesaidbecauseLordknowsIdidn’twanttoencourageanyattractionshehadtowardRhys,butIhatedtheimplicationaristocratswerebetterjustbecausetheywereluckyenoughtobebornintoatitledfamily.
Mikaelablinkedinsurpriseatmysharptone.“Ofcoursenot,”shesaid.“Butyouunderstandthesocialdynamics,Bridge.Gettinginvolvedwiththestaffissotacky.AndI’mthedaughterofabaron.”Anunusualnoteofbitternesspunctuatedthelastsentence.“Mysocialstandingisn’thighenoughtosurvivethatkindofscandal.”
Thearistocracyhadastricthierarchy,andbaronsandbaronessessatatthebottom.IsuspectedthatwaspartofthereasonMikaelaworkedsohardatnetworkingandstayingontopofsocietygossip—toovercomeherperceivedlowerstatus,eventhoughherfamilywasstillwealthierthantheaverageEldorran.
“LikeIsaid,toobad,butatleastIcanlookathim.”Mikaelabrightenedagain.“You’resoluckytohaveahotbodyguard.Ornot,sinceyoucan’thookupwithhim.”
Shelaughed,andIforcedmyselftojoin.
“Ofcoursenot,”Isaid.“Thatwouldbecrazy.”30Rhys
Iwasaddicted.
Me,themanwho’davoidedmostaddictivesubstancesallhislife—drugs,smoking,alcohol,evensugar,toanextent—hadfoundtheonethingIcouldn’tresist.
Strength,resilience,andlight,wrappedupinfivefeetnineinchesofcreamyskinandcoolcomposurethathidaheartoffireunderneath.
Butfuck,ifshewasanaddiction,Ineverwantedtobecured.
“AreyougoingtopaintmelikeoneofyourFrenchgirls?”Bridgetteased,stretchingherarmsoverherhead.
Mycockjumpedwithinterestatthesightofherdrapedoverthecouch,naked,thoughlet’sbehonest,therewereveryfewthingsBridgetdidthatdidn’tinterestmycock.
Shehadararedayoffafterhermorningmeetings,andwe’dspenttheentireafternooninahotelroomontheoutskirtsofAthenberg.Ifanyoneasked,Bridgetwastakingaspaday,butinreality,allwe’ddonewasfuck,eat,andfucksomemore.Itwastheclosestwe’devergotten,andthatwecouldget,toarealdate.
“Carefulwithteasingme,princess,unlessyouwantawartonyourportrait,”Ithreatened.
Shegrinned,andthesighthitmelikeapunchinthegut.
Iwouldnevertireofhersmiles.Herrealsmiles,nottheonessheshowedthepublic.I’dseenBridgetnaked,infancygowns,andinlingerie,butshewasnevermorebeautifulthanwhenshewasherself,strippedofallthepretenseshertitleforcedhertowear.
“Youwouldn’t.”Sherolledoverandproppedherchinonherhands,whichrestedonthearmofthecouch.“You’rewaytoomuchofaperfectionistaboutyourart.”
“We’llseeaboutthat.”Butshewasright.Iwasaperfectionistaboutmyart,andthepieceIwasworkingonmightbemyfavoritesofarasidefromtheoneofherinCostaRica,whichhadfinallybrokenmyartist’sblock.“Hmm,let’ssee.I’lladdathirdnipplehere…ahairywartthere…”
“Stop!”Bridgetlaughed.“Ifyou’regoingtogivemewarts,atleastputthemsomewhereinconspicuous.”
“Allright.Onyourbellybuttonitis.”
Thistime,Iwastheonewholaughedwhenshetossedathrowpillowatme.“Yearsofgrumpiness,andyousuddenlyhavejokes.”
“I’vealwayshadjokes.Ijustnevertoldthem.”Ishadedinherhair.Itspilleddownherback,followingthegracefulcurveofherneckandshoulder.Herlipspartedinasmallsmile,andhereyessparkledwithmischief.Ididmybesttomakethecharcoalsketchrealistic,thoughnothingcomparedtotherealthing.
Wefellintoacomfortablesilence—mesketching,Bridgetwatchingmewithasoft,slumberousexpression.
IwasmorerelaxedthanI’dbeeninalongtime,despitestillbeingonhighalertaboutsomeonepossiblysnoopingthroughmyguesthouse.I’dupgradedthesecuritysystemandaddedhiddencamerasthatfeddirectlytoafeedIcouldaccessonmyphone.Nothingoutoftheordinaryhadhappenedyet,soitwasawait-and-seegame.
Fornow,I’denjoyoneoftheraremomentsBridgetandIcouldspendtogetherwithoutworryingaboutsomeonecatchingus.
“Doyouevershowyourarttoanyone?”sheaskedafterawhile.Sunsetcreptcloser,andthegoldenlateafternoonlightbathedherinanotherworldlyglow.
“Ishowittoyou.”
“Besidesme.”
“Nope.”NotevenChristianhadseenmysketches,thoughheknewtheyexisted.Dittowithmyoldtherapist.
Bridgetliftedherhead,herlipspartinginsurprise.“SoI’m…”
“ThefirstpersonIshowed?Yeah.”Ifocusedonfinishingmysketch,butIfelttheweightofherstareonmyface.
“Mr.Larsen.”
“Yes?”Idrawled,pickinguponthesensualnoteinhervoice.
“Comehere.”
“Youorderingmearound?”
Bridgetflashedanothergrin.“Maybe.I’mintroubleandIneedyourhelp.”
Isetdownmypencilwithasigh.“You’renotintrouble.Youaretrouble.”
Istrodeovertothecouch,andshesquealedwhenIpickedherupandsetherinmylap.Mycocknestledagainstherpussy,withonlythematerialofmybriefsseparatingus.“I’mhere.Nowwhat?”
“Now…”Shepushedherselfuponherkneessoshecouldpulldownmybriefs.“Youhelpmeout.I’malittletense.”
Ihissedoutabreathwhenshesankontomycock.“You’reinsatiable.”Forsomeonesoregalinpublic,Bridgetwasafirecrackerinthebedroom.Orlivingroom,orshower,orkitchencounter.
Hergrinwidened.“Youloveit.”
Mychucklemorphedintoagroanasshesettledintoanexquisiterhythm.“Yeah,princess.Ido.”Iwatchedher,takingalmostasmuchpleasureintheflushedarousalonherfaceasIdidinthesensationofherpussygrippingme.
Halfanhourlater,afterwewerebothbreathlessandsated,Icurledanarmaroundheraswelayonthecouch.ThatwasmyfavoritetypeofmomentwithBridget—thepeacefuloneswherewecouldjustbetogether.Wegotsofewofthose.
“Howdidyougetthis?”Shebrushedherfingersoverthescaronmyeyebrow.“Younevertoldmeaboutthisone.”
“Hititonatable.”IstrokedBridget’sarmabsentmindedly.“Mymotherflewintooneofherragesandbackhandedme.Ifell.IwasluckyIdidn’thitmyeye,oryou’dbefuckingapirateimpersonator.”
Bridgetdidn’tsmileatmyfailedattemptatajoke.Instead,shebrushedherfingersoverthescaragainbeforepressingherlipstoitinasoftkiss,thewayshehadforthescarsonmybackinCostaRica.
Iclosedmyeyes,mychestheavyandtight.
I’dtalkedaboutmymothermorewithBridgetthanIhadanyoneelse,includingmyoldtherapist.Itwasn’tsohardanymore,butBridgethadawayofmakingeventhehardestthingsformeeasy.
Relax.Talk.Laugh.Simplethingsthatmademefeelalmosthumanagain.
“Doyoueverthinkaboutfindingyourfather?”sheasked.“Forclosure.”
“Thoughtaboutit?Yeah.Actedonit?No.”IfIwanted,Icouldtrackmyfatherdowntomorrow.Christianhadtoldmemorethanonceitwouldtakelittlemorethanafewpressesofabuttonforhimtodigupthatinformationforme,butIwasn’tinterested.“Ihavenointerestinmeetinghim.IfIdid,I’dprobablygetarrestedformurder.”
Myfatherwasapieceofshit,andasfarasIwasconcerned,hedidn’texist.Anymanwhocouldleaveawomanhighanddrylikethatdidn’tdeserverecognition.
EvenifallIwantedwasafamily,Iwouldrathereatnailsthanwasteenergyseekinghimout.
“It’scrazyhowmuchourparentsshapeourlives,”Bridgetsaid.“Withtheirchoices,theirmemories,theirlegacies.”
Ashadowofsadnesspassedthroughhereyes,andIknewshewasthinkingaboutherownparents.Onegoneatchildbirth,theotherpassingjustafewyearslater,andshe’dhadtogrieve,asachild,withmillionsofeyeswatchingher.
Irememberedseeingaphotoofherwalkingbehindherfather’scasketasakid,herfacescrunchedinanobviousattempttoholdbacktears,andthinkingthateventhoughIhadashittyhomesituation,atleastIcouldcryatmyparent’sfuneral.
“IthinkpartofthereasonI’msoscaredaboutbeingqueenisI’mafraidofnotlivinguptomymother’slegacy.Ofdisappointinghersomehow.”Bridgetstaredattheceiling,herexpressionpensive.“Inevermether,butIreadandwatchedeveryinterviewIcouldgetmyhandson.Thehomevideos,thestoriesfromthestaffandmyfamily…shewastheperfectprincessanddaughterandmother.Shewould’vemadeagreatqueen.Betterthanme.ButIkilledher.”Hervoicecaught,andsomehow,Iknewthatwasthefirsttimeshe’devervoicedthosewords.
Adeepachepiercedmyheart,anditonlygrewwhenIsawtheunshedtearsinhereyes.
Istraightenedandcuppedherfaceinmyhands.“Bridget,youdidnotkillyourmother,”Isaidfiercely.“Doyouunderstand?Youwereababy.Youarenotguiltyjustbecauseyouwereborn.”
“Theydidn’tplanforme.”Atearslippeddownhercheek.“Iwasanaccidentalpregnancy.Ifitweren’tforme,she’dstillbealive,andshewouldbequeen,andthingswouldjustbebetterforeverybody.”
Fuck.Somethingcrackedinmychest,hardenoughitwould’vealarmedmehadInotalreadybeensotornupoverBridget.TherewereveryfewthingsintheworldIcouldn’twithstand,butBridgetcryingwasoneofthem.
“Notforme,”Isaid.“Notforyourfriends,family,oranyofthepeoplewhoselivesyou’vetouched.Yourmothermadeachoicetohaveyou,andnooneblamesyouforwhathappenedtoher.Itwasamedicalsituationthatcould’vehappenedtoanybody.Ithadnothingtodowithyou.”
“Iknow.”Hervoicecracked.
Igrippedhertighter,desperateforhertounderstand.Ididn’tknowwhyitwassoimportant.Ijustknewitwas.“Doyourememberwhatyoutoldmeduringthetour?Wealwaysendupwherewe’remeanttobe,andyouwerealwaysmeanttobehere.”Withme.
Bridgetletoutahalf-laugh,half-sob.“Mr.Larsen,Idobelievethat’sthemostwordsyou’veeversaidtomeinonesitting.”
“I’msurethat’snottrue.Ifitis,Iexpectaroyalmedal.”
Shelaughedagainandwipedhereyes.“I’msorry.Idon’tusuallybreakdownlikethis.Idon’tknowwhat’sgottenintome.”
“Noneedtoapologize.”Irubbedaremainingtearawaywithmythumb.“Justtellmeyouunderstand.”
“Yeah,”shewhispered.“IthinkIdo.”
Ikissedthetopofherhead,myheartstillaching.IfonlyshecouldseeherselfthewayIsawher.
Beautiful,smart,strong.Perfectineverywaythatmattered.
Bythetimeweleftoursuite,thesunhaddippedbelowthehorizonandBridgethadregainedhercoolcomposure,thoughahintofvulnerabilityremainedinhereyes.
Wewalkedinsilencetowardtheelevator,onceagaintheprincessandherbodyguard.Butwhenweturnedthecorner,shestoppedsosuddenlyIalmostranstraightintoher.
MysensessnappedintohighalertasIscannedtheareaforvisiblethreats
Noweapons.Nopaparazzi.
ButwhatIsawwasalmostworse.
“Bridget.”Steffan’seyeswidenedwithamixtureofsurpriseandalarm.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”31Bridget
“Steffan.”Myheartthumpedwithpanic,eventhoughIwasn’tdoinganythingwrong.Notatthatsecond,anyway.“Ididn’tknowyouwerebackintown.”
“I—uh,yes,”hestuttered,lookinguncharacteristicallyflustered.“Itwasalast-minutedecision.Iwasn’tsupposedtobebackuntilnextweek,butIhadanemergencyinthecityandIneededtogetbackstraightaway.Iwasgoingtocallyoutomorrowaftereverythingsettled.”Hiseyesslidtohisleft,andIrealizedhewasn’talone.
Apetite,prettywomanwithcurlydarkhairstoodnexttohim,herfaceredandherarmswrappedtightaroundherwaist.
“YourHighness.”Shedippedintoasmallcurtsy,herlipsfixedinastrainedsmile.
“ThisisMalin.”Steffan’sdiscomfortvisiblyincreased.“Shegavemearidebacktothecity.”
“Didn’trealizefuturedukesneededtohitchrides.”AbladeofsuspicionsharpenedRhys’sotherwiseeventone
Theplayful,gentleRhysfromearlierintheafternoonhaddisappeared,replacedbythestoic,composedbodyguardIknewsowell.
“Shewascomingbacktothecityanyway,soitmadesense.”Steffan’seyesflickedbetweenmeandRhys.
Somethingdidn’taddup.Ifhehadanemergencyinthecity,whywasheatahotelontheoutskirtsofAthenbergthislateatnight?
Thenagain,Iofallpeoplewasn’tgoingtoquestionwhyhewashere.
Thefourofusstoodinthehall,eacheyeingtheotherswarily.Theelevatorpingedinthedistance,andtheairconditioninghummedwithanxiety.ThetensionwassothickIcouldslicethroughitwithafingernail.
“Thehotelisn’tinthecity,”Rhyssaid.Hehadn’tmovedasingleinchsinceweranintoSteffanandMalin.
MalinlookedatthegroundwhileSteffanranahandthroughhishair.“Ihadadinnermeetingattherestaurant.AndMalinwas,uh,kindenoughtowaitwhileIfinished.Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Headdressedthelastparttome,andIrealizedIhadn’tansweredhimthefirsttimeheasked.“Itookaspaday.Wewerejustleaving.”
IavoidedlookingatRhys,afraidthemovementwouldsomehowgiveawaywhatwe’dreallybeendoingallafternoon.
WhatdoesaheadturnmeaninEldorran?Oh,justthatIfuckedmybodyguardinadozendifferentpositionsoverthecourseofsixhours.
“Ofcourse.Ididn’tmeantoholdyouup.”SteffansteppedasidesoIcouldpass,butbeforeIcould,Malinspokeup.
“Steffan,wasn’ttheresomethingyouwantedtoaskHerHighness?”ShefixedhereyesonSteffan,whoselipsthinnedashestaredbackather.Someunspokencommunicationpassedbetweenthembeforeheturnedtome.
“Thiswasn’thowIwantedtodoit,”hesaidwithahintofapology.“Butsincewe’rehere,Ididhavesomethingtoaskyou.PleaseforgivemeifI’mbeingpresumptive,but,ah,wouldyouliketobemydatetoPrinceNikolai’swedding?”
Rhysfinallymoved,hisbodyshiftingclosertomineandhishandslidingtowardthegunathiswaistband.
“I…”OfallthethingsI’dexpectedSteffantoask,thathadn’tbeenoneofthem.We’dexchangedafewpolitetextsafterourdateattheRoyalBotanicGardens,butwehadn’tspokeninweeksand,tobehonest,hehadn’tcrossedmymindagainuntilnow.
IalsosuspectedheandMalinhadamorecomplicatedrelationshipthanheleton,perhapsevenaromanticone.Heclearlyhadn’twantedtoaskmeout,andshewasstaringattheflooragainwithafrown.
Butiftheyweretogether,whywouldshepushhimtogoonadatewithme?
“IwasgoingtoaskwhenIcalledyoutomorrow,”Steffanadded.Hesmiled,andIglimpsedtheoldfriendly,relaxedSteffanagain.“We’dmentionedmeetingupafterIreturned,andsincetheweddingiscomingup,Ithoughtyoumightliketogotogether.Unlessyoualreadyhaveadate…”
NikolaiandSabrina’sweddingwasinamonth,andtheywereduebackthisweekendforthefinalpreparations.IwasabridesmaidalongwithSabrina’ssisterandbestfriendfromtheU.S.
“Idon’t.”Iwasexpectedto,butIhadn’teventhoughtaboutit.I’dbeentoowrappedupintheCitizenLettersprogram,training,andRhys.
Ihesitated,debating,beforeIfinallyanswered,“Iwouldbehappytobeyourdate.Thankyouforasking.”
Rhysstiffenedfurthernexttome.
“Excellent.”Steffanclearedhisthroat.“Let’shashthedetailsoutlater,shallwe?I’mlookingforwardtoit.”
“Me,too.”
“You’dmakealovelycouple.”TherewassomethinginMalin’svoice.Ahintofwarning,maybe?Oranimositymixedwithsadness.Icouldn’tpinpointit,butwhateveritwas,itmadeSteffanflinch.
“Thankyou.”Ittookallmytrainingnottoinjectaquestionmarkattheend.WhatwasIsupposedtosaytosomethinglikethat?
AnotherawkwardsilencefellbeforeIfinallyexcusedmyselfandleftSteffanandMalinstandinginthehall,glaringateachother.
Rhyswaiteduntilwewereintheelevatorbeforehesaid,“They’refucking.”
Thethoughthadcrossedmymind,butitdidn’tmakesense.“Youdon’tknowthat.”
“Trustme.Icantellwhenpeoplearefucking,andtheyare.”
Westeppedoutoftheelevatorandintothelobby.“Iftheyare,whydidsheencouragehimtoaskmeout?”
“Idon’tknow.Maybethey’reintogroupplay.”Rhysdidn’tlookatme.
Hewaspissed.Hedidn’tsayit,butIcouldfeelit,andIdidn’thavetoguesswhathewasangryabout.
“Ihadtosayyestothedate,”Isaidafterwegotinthecar.“EveryoneexpectsmetobringsomeonetoNik’swedding.”
EdvardandElinhadnotforgottenaboutmyhusbandsearchandkeptbringingitupateveryturn,buttherewasn’tmuchtheycoulddowithSteffangone.Nowthathewasback…
Morecomplications.LesstimewithRhys.
Frustrationcurledinmystomach.
“Isee,”Rhyssaidinaneutraltone,buttherewasnothingneutralaboutthedangeremanatingfromhimlikeheatoffsunbakedasphalt.
IhatedthatIcouldn’tbringRhysasmydateandthatwehadtohideandsneakaround,eventhoughtheonlythingkeepingusapartwasastupidaccidentofbirth.Itwasthetwenty-firstcentury,butwemightaswellbelivingintheeighteenth.
Thefrustrationsharpenedandstabbedatmyinsides.
Howdidwegofromourglorious,dreamyafternoontogethertothissofast?
“You’restillexpectedtomarrysoon.”Rhysmadearightturn,hishandssotightonthewheelhisknucklesturnedwhite.
“Yes,”Isaidquietly.
Thepastfewweekshadbeenourversionofahoneymoon,oneinwhichwecouldbetogetherwithoutworryingaboutthethundercloudsinthedistance.Butthestormhadarrived,anditwasabouttorainalloverourparade.
Iwasthecrownprincess,andhewasmybodyguard.
Nomatterhowmuchitfeltlikeforever,wewouldeventuallyhavetopartways…unlessIdidsomethingdrastic.
Somethingnoonehadeverdonebefore.
LikerepealtheRoyalMarriagesLaw.32Bridget
Problem:Icouldn’trepealthelawonmyown.Ineededbackup,andIhadlimitedoptions.Ididn’twanttotellRhysuntilIhadamoreconcreteplan,andIcertainlycouldn’ttellmyfamilyoranyofthepalacehandlers.MyfriendsinD.C.weretoofarawayandremovedfromEldorranpoliticstohelp.
TherewasonlyonepersonleftIcouldtrust.
“Youwanttowhat?”Mikaela’smouthhungopenasshestaredatmelikeI’dsproutedasecondhead.“Bridget,theRoyalMarriagesLawisalmostasoldasthecountryitself.It’simpossibletooverturn,especiallywiththosefuddy-duddiesinParliament.”
“It’snotimpossible,it’simprobable,”Icorrected.“There’sadifference.Andimprobablethingscanbecomeprobablewiththerightstrategy.”
“Okay.What’sthestrategy?”
“Idon’tknowyet.”
Shegroaned.“Bridge,thisiscrazy.Whyareyougoingtoallthetroubletooverturnthelaw?IthoughteverythingwasgoingwellwithSteffan.Imean,hewasgoneforawhile,buthe’sbackandasdeliciousasever.Andhe’syourdatetoNikolai’swedding.”Shesippedherteaandsetitonthetable.“AmImissingsomething?”
Ibitmylip.ShouldIspillthebeansaboutRhys?ItrustedMikaela,butIdidn’tquitetrustherreactiontothenews,givenwhatshe’dsaidinmyofficeaboutdatingthestaff.
“Thelawisarchaic,”Isaid.“It’snotjustforme.It’sforallthekingsandqueensafterme.Ifitwasn’tforthelaw,NikolaiwouldstillbecrownprinceandhappilyengagedtoSabrina.”
“Okay,butlawscan’tberepealedunlesstheSpeakerbringsthemotiontothefloorandathree-fourthsmajorityofParliamentvotesinfavor,”Mikaelapointedout.“Whenwasthelasttimetheyrepealedalaw?”
Fifteenyearsago,whentheyrepealedalawprohibitingspeedlimitsofhigherthanfifty-fivemilesperhourthroughoutthecountry.
Theoddsweren’tinmyfavor.
“I’llfigureitout.”Erhallwouldbedifficult,butIwouldthinkofawaytopersuadehim.“Willyouhelp?”
“You’recrazy.Thisiscrazy.”
Butforallhergrumbling,Mikaelareluctantlyagreed,andforthenextweek,Ithrewallmyenergyintocreatingaworkableplan.IanalyzedeveryrepealedlawinEldorranhistory—thereweren’tmany—andstudiedthedifferentministersinParliament,dividingthemupbasedonhowlikelytheyweretopassthemotion.Ihadn’tfiguredoutastrategyforErhallyet,soIlefthimforlast.
However,itwasn’tuntilmynextcheck-inwithElinthatsomethingclicked.SomethingsosimpleIfeltlikeanidiotfornotthinkingofitbefore.
“HisMajestyisdelightedyou’reattendingPrinceNikolai’sweddingwithSteffan,”Elinsaidwithanapprovingnod.“Coveragehasbeenpositivewiththegoodwilltourandwedding,butwewanttokeepthemomentumgoing.Plus,wewanttomakesureeverythingisinplaceforwhenyoueventuallytakethecrown.Nothingsaysstabilitylikeagoodmarriagewithagood,solidconsort,andLordknowsweneedsomestabilityaftertheabdication.”
“Idon’tseehowmarriageaffectstheabilitytorule,”Isaid,stiflingayawn.Istayeduplatelastnightdoingresearch,andIwaspayingthepricetoday.
“Itaffectspublicopinion,YourHighness,”ElinsaidinatonethatsuggestedIshouldknowthisalready.“Nooneisimmunetopublicopinion.Noteventheroyalfamily.”
Ifroze.“Whatdidyoujustsay?”
Sheraisedaquestioningbrow.“Nooneisimmunetopublicopinion,noteventheroyalfamily.”
Alightbulbwentoffinmyhead,andIalmostjumpedoutofmychairinexcitement.“Elin,you’reagenius,”Ibreathed.“Anabsolutegenius.Youdeservearaiseimmediately.”
“Excellent.PleasetellHisMajestythenexttimeyouspeakwithhim.”Shecheckedherwatch.“That’sallIhavefortodayunless—”
“No.”Iwasalreadyupandhalfwaytothedoor.“Thiswasalovelymeeting.I’llseeyounextweek.”
Ipracticallyranintothehall.
“YourHighness,pleaseremember,princessesdon’trun!”Elincalledafterme.
Iignoredher.TheideasrushedinsofastIcouldn’tkeepup.Someweremoredeviousthanothers,butatleastonehadtowork.Ithadto.
Parliamentaryelectionswerecomingupinthefall,andIwasstillridinghighfromthegoodwilltour.IfIcouldgetthepublictobackarepeal—
Islammedintoabrickwall.
“Whoa.Whereareyouofftoinsuchahurry?”Rhys’samusedvoicecutthroughthechatterinmybrainashegrippedmyarmsandsteadiedme.
Ismiled,myheartskippingatthesightofhim.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
Wedidn’thaveameetupscheduled,butscheduleswereoverrated,anyway.
“ThoughtI’dexplore.Seeifanythinginterestingishappening,orifanyprincessesneedprotecting.”Hismouthformedasmall,teasinggrin.
“Hmm.”Iadoptedathoughtfulexpression.“Idon’tknowaboutprotecting,butIcanthinkofafewthingsthatmightinterestyou.”
Therewasnooneelseinthehall,evenso,wekeptourvoiceslow.Intimate.
HeatturnedRhys’seyesintomoltensilver.“Yeah?Likewhat?”
“Likeatourofthethroneroom.”IslowlywalkedbackwarduntilIreachedthedoorleadingintotheceremonialspace,andwecastaquicklookaroundbeforeslippinginside.
I’dplannedtobrainstormwaysIcouldgetthepublictosupportarepeal,butthatcouldwait.Ihadn’tseenRhysallday.
“So,thisisathroneroom.”Rhyslookedaroundthelavishspace.Withitsmassivecrystalchandeliers,thickcrimsoncarpetandwallcoverings,andgoldtrim,itwasthemostover-the-toproominthepalace,butweonlyuseditfortheoccasionalknightingceremonyorofficialfunction.Noonecameinhereunlesstheyhadto.“LooksexactlythewayIpicturedathroneroomwouldlook.”
“Don’tactlikeyouhaven’tstudiedeveryinchofeveryroominthepalacealready.”
Rhysgavemeaslowsmile,andmystomachflipped.“Youthinkyouknowmesowell.”
“Ido.”
“Hmm.”Hewalkedclosertomeuntilweweremereinchesapart.“ThendoyouknowwhatI’mgoingtodorightnow?”
Iheldmybreath.“What?”
Heleaneddownandwhispered,“I’mgoingtosityouonthatnicelittlethroneoverthereandeatyourprettycuntoutuntilyoubegmetostop.”
Igaspedoutalaughashepickedmeupandtossedmeoverhisshoulderwiththeeaseofsomeonepickinguparagdoll.“Youcan’t!Noonesitsonthethroneexceptthemonarch.”
Rhyssetmedownonthegoldandvelvetchair.
“It’sgoingtobeyoursoneday.Mightaswellgetusedtoit,”hesaid.“Howdoesitfeel?”
“I…”Ilookedaround.Theroomseemeddifferentfromthisvantagepoint.Bigger,moreintimidating.“Strange.Andscary.But…notasscaryasIthought.”
Inmymind,thethronewassolargeI’dnevergrowintoit,butnowthatIwasactuallysittinginit?Itseemedmanageable.
“Becauseyou’rereadyforit.”Rhyssaiditlikeitwasn’tevenaquestion.“You’reafuckingqueen,anddon’tletanyonetellyouotherwise.Includingyourself.”
Mymouthtippedupwhilemyheartmeltedintoapuddle.“Ifyouevergiveuponthebodyguardgig,youcouldmakeakillingasamotivationalspeaker.”
Hechuckled.“Notmotivation,justthetruth.Thethronesuitsyou.Now…”Hekneltbeforemeandspreadmythighs.“HowcanIserveyou,YourHighness?”
Heatconsumedmybodyashepulledmyunderweardown.
“Rhys,”Ihissed,mypulseracingwithamixoflustandanxiety.“Someonewillcatchus.”
Theoddswereslim,buttheyweren’tzero.
Hiswolfishsmilecausedmytoestocurl.“Thenwebettermakeitworthit.Hmm,princess?”
Ididn’tgetachancetorespondbeforehedrapedmylegsoverhisshoulders,dippedhisheadbetweenmythighs,andallmyprotestscrumbledintoash.
Rhysdevouredmewiththehungerofamanlostinthedesert,suckingonmyclitandthrustinghistongueinsidemeuntilmyvisionwenthazy.Iwrithedandwhimpered,slidinghalfwayoffthethroneuntilmylegsonhisshouldersandhiscrushinggriponmyhipsweretheonlythingskeepingmefromcollapsing.
Toomuch.Notenough.Everywhere.More.
Icouldn’tthinkstraight.
Mymoansechoedintheroom,bouncingoffthetapestriesandportraitsofpreviouskingsandqueens,allofwhomglaredatmedisapprovinglywhilemybodyguardtonguefuckedmeintoobliviononthethrone.
Hesuckedhardonmyclit,andIyelpedattheoverloadofsensation.Itriedtopullaway,butRhys’shandsclampedaroundmythighslikeironbands,forcingmetoholdstilluntilmybodyconvulsedandcameapart.
BeforeIcouldgathermyselfbacktogether,hewasupandinsideme,hisbigbodyshieldingmefromsightshouldanyonewalkinandhiscockdrivingintomeforcefullyenoughtosendthechairinchingbackwitheachthrust.
Sowrong.Thiswassowrong,butIcouldn’tbringmyselftocareasRhysgrabbedmyanklesandplacedmylegsonhisshouldersagain,bendingmenearlyinhalf.
“Nowthisishowaqueenshouldbetreated,”hesaid,hiseyesdarkandravenousastheydroppedfrommyfacetowherehiscockpumpedinandoutofme.“Don’tyouagree?”
“Mmphungh.”Imoanedsomethingunintelligible,unabletospeak.Tothink.
Iwaspuresensation,fireinsideandout,andthelastcoherentthoughtIhadbeforeanothervolcanoeruptedandmeltedmeintonothingwas,sometimes,it’sgoodtobequeen.33Rhys
OurtrystinthethroneroomwasthelastbitofalonetimeBridgetandIhadbeforeherbrotherandfuturesister-in-lawarrived,andshegotsweptupinaflurryofpre-weddingobligations.Ithoughtnormalweddingsweretedious,butroyalweddingswereoffthecharts.
Onthebrightside,itmeantBridgetdidn’thavetimetoseeSteffan,either.Thefuckerwasbackintown,andthethoughtofseeingthemonanotherdatemademybloodburn.
I’vegoneofftherails.Hell,I’dgoneofftheentirefuckingtrack.I’dneversomuchasgoneonathirddatewithawomaninthepast.Nonehadinterestedmeenough.AndnowIwasthinkingofkillingoverone.
Bridgethadmyheadwellandtrulyfucked.
“Getittogether,”Imuttered,slammingajaroftomatosauceonthecounter.“It’soneday.”
Exceptitwasn’tonlyonedaybecauseeventually,shewouldhavetomarrysomeonenoble.Someoneblue-blooded.Someonenotme.
Furyandpainrippledthroughme,andIforcedmyselftofocusonthetaskathandbeforeIspiraledtoofardownthatpath.Itwouldn’tendwellformeoranythinginthekitchen.
I’djustturnedonthestovewhensomeoneknockedonthedoor.Bridgetwasatsomepre-weddingnightthingwiththerestofthebridesmaids,soitcouldn’tbeher.Whoelsewouldvisitatthistimeofnight?
Iturnedthestoveoffagainandcheckedthesecuritycamera.
Yougottabeshittingme.
Iexitedthekitchen,crossedthelivingroom,andopenedthefrontdoor.“Whatthehellareyoudoinghere?”
Andreasraisedhiseyebrows.“I’mgettingoffendedbytherudegreetingsyouandBridgetinsistongivingme.Perhapsshecangetawaywithit,butIamaprince,andyouarenot.”Therewasanoddnoteinhisvoicewhenhesaidthat,butitdisappearedsoquicklyIwonderedifI’dimaginedit.
“Youshowupatmydoorunannounced,yougetwhatevergreetingIwanttogive.”Mysmilecontainedmorethreatthanhumor.“Begladyou’renotstaringdownthebarrelofmygun.”
Andreascluckedindisappointment.“Andtothink,Icameheretohelp.”
“Idoubtthat.”
“ContrarytowhatBridgetmayhavetoldyou,I’mnotabadguy.Iwantwhat’sbestformyfamilyandcountry.”Hestraightenedthecuffsofhisshirt.“Forexample,Ifinditquiteadmirable,howNikolaiabdicatedfortruelove.Attheendoftheday,he’stheonewhohastolivehislife,andhechosehappiness.Goodforhim.”
Impatiencespiraledthroughme.“Doyouhaveapoint,ordoyoujustlikehearingyourselftalk?”
“Idoenjoyhearingmyselftalk,”Andreassaid.“UsuallybecauseIspeakthetruth.ButNikolai’sweddingmademewonder…whichwouldBridgetchooseifshehadthechoice?Herheartorhercountry?”
Myhandclosedaroundthedoorknob.Iwasthisclosetoslammingthedoorinhisface,princeornot.“She’snotabdicating.Whateverschemeyouhaveinmind,it’snotgonnawork.”
“Youmightberight,inwhichcaseIfeelsorryformycousin.Stuckinamarriageofpoliticalconveniencefortherestofherlife.”SympathycrossedAndreas’sface,butitdidn’tfoolme.“She’saromantic,evenifshetriestohideit.Grandloveandallthat.Sadly,that’snotalwaysinthecardsfortheheirtothethrone.”Hepaused.“Thenagain,SteffanHolsteincouldverywellbeanexception.Theymakeagood-lookingcouple,don’tyouthink?”
Amusclepulsedinmyjaw.
“LikeIsaid,Ilookoutformyfamilyandcountry.”Andreas’seyesflickered.“Iwanteveryonetobehappy,andwhileSteffanseemslikeperfectlyadequateconsortmaterial,Bridgetwouldbefarhappierifsheabdicated.”
“Soyoucanbeking,”Isaidflatly.
Heshrugged.“Sheneverwantedtobequeen,anyway.Whynotpassthethronetome?”
“Youknow,thisallsoundslikeapersonalproblem.Foryou,”Isaidcoldly.“Don’tunderstandwhyyou’retellingmeallthis.”
Andreas’ssmilemademyguardshootstraightup.“AnAmericancontractorwhomovedtoanothercountrysohecanbetheprincess’spermanentbodyguard?Ithinkyoudo.”Heturned,butbeforeheleft,headded,“Thankyouforindulgingme,Mr.Larsen.It’sbeenquiteanenlighteningconversation.”
Bridgetwasright.Hewasasataniclittleturd,nottomentionadangerousone.Ifhedidn’tknowaboutBridgetandme,heatleastsuspectedIhadfeelingsforher.
Ishutthedoorwithaslam.
WasAndreastheonewho’dsnoopedthroughtheguesthouse?Icouldn’tthinkofagoodreasonwhyhe’ddothatunlesshe’dhopedtofindsomethingincriminatingaboutBridget,inwhichcasehewasshitoutofluck.
Whatwasthepenaltyforpunchingaprinceintheface?Whateveritwas,itmightbeworthit.
Myphonerang,andIanswereditwithoutglancingatthecallerID.“What?”Ibarked.ItwasprobablyChristianagain,callingtothrowmedeeperintoashittymood.
“DidIcatchyouatabadtime?”Bridget’samusedvoiceflowedovertheline.
Mymusclesrelaxed,andIblewoutabreath.“Thoughtyouweresomeoneelse,princess.”Ileanedagainstthewall.“Aren’tyousupposedtobeatthebridesmaidthing?”
“Yes.Isnuckintothebathroom.Ican’ttalkforlong,butthewedding’stomorrowand…”Bridget’svoicelowered.“Imissyou.”
Wesaweachothereveryday,butIknewwhatshemeant.Imissedthemomentsthatbelongedonlytous.
“Imissyoutoo,princess.”Ismiledarealsmilethistime.“AnychanceIcanconvinceyoutosneakoutthebathroomwindowsowecanendthenightwithabang?Sotospeak.”
Shesnortedoutalaugh,whichshecutoffhalfwaywithagasp.
Ibrokeintoalaughofmyown.“Didyoujustsnort?”
“No.”
“Notveryprincess-likeofyou.”
“Ididnotsnort.”Icouldpracticallyseeherfaceglowingredontheotherendoftheline.Shewassofuckingadorable.“Anyway,Ican’tsneakoutthewindow.We’reonthethirdfloor.”
“Thirdfloor’snotthathigh.”
Bridgethuffed.“Easyforyoutosay.You’renottheoneatriskofdying.”
“Trustme,princess.Iwouldratherendmyownlifethanaskyoutodoanythingthatmighthurtyou.”
Ihadn’tmeanttosaythosewords.Theyjustfellout,likethey’dbeenthereallalongandwerewaitingfortherightmomenttomakethemselvesknown.
Funnythingwas,Iwasn’tupsetorembarrassed,eventhoughtheycametooclosetoaconfessionforcomfort.Theyjustfeltright.
EverythingwithBridgetfeltright.
“Iknow,”shesaid,sosoftandwarmshemightaswellberighttherenexttome,caressingme.“Itrustyou.”
Achargedsilencestretchedovertheline,filledwithother,unspokenwordswaitingfortheirmoment,andmyheartthuddedlikeitwaswarningmenottoscrewup.
“We’vecomealongway,haven’twe?”Idrawled,finallybreakingthetensionbeforeIdid—orsaid—somethingIwouldregret.Somethingneitherofuswasreadytoacknowledge.“Fromfightinglikecatsanddogstofuckinglike—”
“Rhys.”
“What?YouletmeeatyououtonthethronebutIcan’tsaythewordfucking?”
“You’reimpossible.”Amusementsoftenedheradmonishingtone.“I—”Iheardaknockinthebackground,followedbymuffledvoices.Bridgetmust’vecoveredthephonewithherhand.“Sorry,thatwasSabrina,”shesaid,hervoiceclearer.“Ihavetogo,butI’llseeyoutomorrow.”Hervoicesoftenedfurther.“Goodnight,Mr.Larsen.”
“Goodnight,princess.”
IwaiteduntilshehungupbeforeIendedthecall.
Istoodthereforalongwhile,mymindfilledwithimagesofacertainblondeasIstaredaroundmyroyalguesthouseinEldorraandwonderedhowthehellIgotwhereIwas.34Bridget
“Iseverythingokay?”SabrinaaskedafterIexitedthebathroom.She’dknockedtocheckonme,andIrealizedI’dbeengoneforalmosthalfanhour.
“Yes.Ijusthadtodealwithsomelast-minuteprepforaneventnextweek,”Isaid,ashamedofhoweasilythelierolledoffmytongue.“Apologies.”
“Noneedtoapologize.”Sabrinagesturedtohersisterandbestfriend,who’dpassedoutonthecouchwhileTheDevilWearsPradaplayedon-screen.“Atleastyou’reawake.”
Iletoutasmalllaugh.“Weshouldgotosleepsoon.Youhaveabigdaytomorrow.”
“You’reprobablyright.Ican’tbelieveit’salmosthere.”Sabrinafiddledwithherengagementring,lookingoverwhelmedandalittlelost.“Itfeelssurreal.Iwantedasmallwedding,but…”
“Yougotathree-ringcircus?”Isankontothecouchnexttoher.“Welcometotheroyallife.EvenifNikabdicated,he’sstillaroyalbyblood,andeverythinghedoesisareflectionofthecrown.”
“Iknow.IjusthopeIdon’tembarrassmyself.”Sabrinagavemeanervoussmilebeforeherexpressiongrewserious.“Bridget,Iknowwedon’tknoweachotherthatwell,butIwantedtothankyouforagreeingtobepartofmybridalparty.Truly.Itmeansalottome.”
“Ofcourse.You’regoingtobemysister-in-law.”
WhenNikolaifirsttoldmeabouthisabdication,Iresentedher.Itwasn’tsomethingIwasproudof,butitwastrue.Ifhehadn’tmetSabrina,he’dstillbeCrownPrince,andI’dbelivingmylifeinNewYork.
ButasIstaredathernow,IrealizedIwouldn’tgobacktomylifeintheU.S.evenifIcould.Ithadbeenanillusionoffreedom,nothingelse.I’dbeentrappedinthesamedayin,dayoutmonotonyoffakesmilesandmind-numbingevents.Beingcrownprincesscamewithmorerulesandasmallercage,butitalsocamewithmorepurpose,andthatwastheonethingthat’dalwaysbeenmissinginmylife.
Somehow,somewherealongtheway,I’dgrownintomynewrole.ItwouldtakeawhilebeforeIwasfullycomfortablewithit,butIwasgettingthere.
“Yes.Goodones,Ihope.”Sabrinasqueezedmyhand.“IloveNikolai,andI’dbelyingifIsaidI’mnothappyheabdicated.ButIalsoknowwhatahugeburdenitplacedonyou,andforthat,I’msorry.”
“Noapologiesneeded.Youdidnothingwrongexceptfallinlove.”
Iknewthat.I’dalwaysknownthat.Butitwasn’tuntilIsaiditatthatmomentthatanylingeringresentmentIhadtowardNikolaiandSabrinafadedaway.
Itwasn’ttheirfault.Therewerenowrongchoices.IfNikolaihadchosenthethroneoverSabrina,itwould’vebeendevastatingforhim,butitwould’vebeenunderstandable.Ifhe’dchosenSabrina,ashehad,thatwasunderstandabletoo.Loveorcountry.Animpossiblechoicewhenthefutureofanationrestsonyourshoulders.
Theonlythingatfaultwasthesystemthatforcedhimtochoose.
“Mybrotheradoresyou,”Iadded.NikolaiandIweren’tsuperclose,butIknewhimwellenoughtospotthedifference.HechangedintoadifferentpersonwhenhewasaroundSabrina,ahappierone,andIwouldneverbegrudgehimthat.
Sabrina’sfacelitup,erasingsomeoftheearlierstress.“Itstillfeelslikeadreamsometimes,”sheadmitted.“TomeetsomeonewhoseesmeforwhoIam,faultsandall,andlovesmeregardless.”Shesqueezedmyhandagain,hereyeswisebeyondhertwenty-fiveyears.“Ihopeyoufindthatkindofloveoneday,too.Whetherit’swithSteffanorsomeoneelse.”
Trustme,princess.Iwouldratherendmyownlifethanaskyoutodoanythingthatmighthurtyou.
Iforcedasmile.“Oneday.”
Butlaterthatnight,asIstaredattheceilingandthoughtaboutRhys,Steffan,andmyless-than-certaineffortstorepealtheRoyalMarriagesLaw,Icouldn’thelpbutwonderiftherewasonlyroomforonehappyendinginthiskingdom…andifitwasn’talreadytoolateformine.35Rhys
Asexpected,PrinceNikolaiandSabrina’sweddingwasamadhouse.Halfthecity’sroadswereclosed,helicoptersbuzzedoverheadcapturingaerialfootageoftheprocession,andthousandsofpeoplecrowdedthestreets,eagerforaglimpseofthefairytaleunfoldinginreallife.Pressflewinfromallovertheworld,breathlesslycoveringeverydetailfromthelengthofSabrina’sweddingdresstraintothestar-studdedguestlist.TheonlyreportersallowedinsidetheactualceremonywerethosefromEldorra’snationalnewspaperandbroadcaster,who’dreceivedexclusivefirstcoveragerights,butthatdidn’tstoptheothersfromfightingforthebestviewoutsidethechurch.
Bridgetspentthedayrunningarounddoingwhateverbridesmaidsdid.Whiletheygotreadyinthebridalsuite,IkeptwatchinthehallwithSabrina’sbodyguardJoseph,whowasalsoanAmericancontractorsinceNikolaihadgivenuphisrightstotheRoyalGuardwhenheabdicated.
WhileJosephrambledonabouttheexploitsofhispreviousclient—unprofessionalashell,butIwasn’ttheman’sboss—Imonitoredthesurroundings.Therewasallsortsofpotentialforabigdayliketodaytogowrong.
Luckily,allseemedquiet,andbeforelong,thedooropenedandSabrinasteppedout,beaminginherfancywhitegownandveil.Thebridesmaidsfiledoutafterher,withBridgetroundinguptherear.
Sheworethesamepalegreendressastheotherbridesmaids,butsheglowedinawaynooneelsecould.MyeyeslingeredontheshadowofhercleavageandthewaythedresshuggedherhipsbeforeIdraggedthemuptoherface,wheremybreathgotstuckinmythroat.
Halfthetime,Icouldn’tbelieveshewasreal.
Bridgetflashedmeasecretivesmileasshepassedby,hergazesweepingovermysuitandtiewithappreciation.“Youcleanupnice,Mr.Larsen,”shemurmured.
“Sodoyou.”Ifellintostepbehindherandloweredmyvoiceuntilitwasbarelyaudible.“Can’twaittotearthatdressoffyoulater,princess.”
Shedidn’trespond,butIsawenoughofherprofiletospottherosyglowonhercheeks.
Igrinned,butmygoodmooddidn’tlastlong,becausewhenweenteredtheweddinghall,thefirstpersonIsawwasSteffanfuckingHolsteinsittinginoneofthefrontpews.Shinyshoes,haircoiffed,andeyesfixedonBridget.
Iwasconvincedhewasfuckingthewomanwesawhimwithatthehotel,butifhedidn’tstoplookingatBridgetlikethat,Iwasgoingtoriphistongueoutandchokehimtodeathwithit.
Iforcedmyselftofocusontheceremonyandnottheviolentthoughtsswarmingthroughmyhead.Ithadn’tbeenincludedinElin’sinstructions,butIassumedmurderingahigh-rankingguestinthemiddleofaroyalweddingwasfrownedupon.
BridgettookherplaceatthealtarwhileIremainedinthesideshadows,drinkingherin.Shestoodonthesidefacingme,andasNikolaiandSabrinarecitedtheirvows,shecaughtmyeyeandgavemeanotheroneofherlittlesmiles,thekindsosubtleonewouldmissitunlesstheywereattunedtohereverymicroexpression.
Myshouldersrelaxed,andmymouthtippedupinitsownghostofasmile.
Amomentjustforus,stolenbeneaththenosesofhundredsofpeopleinAthenberg’sgrandestchurch.
Aftertheceremonyended,everyonedrovetothepalace’sballroomforthegrandfirstreception.Thesecond,moreintimateeveningreceptiontookplaceatToloseHouse,NikolaiandSabrina’snewresidence,whichwaslocatedonlyaten-minutewalkfromthepalace.Onlytwohundredofthefamily’sclosestfriendsandrelativesreceivedinvites,nopressallowed.
Itwaswheretheguestsreallyletloose…andwhereIhadtowatchBridgetandSteffandancetogether.Oneofhishandsrestedonherlowerback,andshesmiledatsomethinghesaid.
Jealousyclawedatme,sharpandruthless.
“Theymakeanice-lookingcouple,”Josephsaid,followingmygaze.“Theprincessandtheduke.Fairytaleshit.”Heshookhisheadandchuckled.“Toobadshe’dnevergoforanaverageJoelikeyouorme,huh?Iwouldfuck—”
“Becarefulwhatyousaynext.”Lethalquietrazoredmywords.“Orit’llbethelastthingyousay.”
Steffanmaybeuntouchable,butJoseph?Icouldtearhimapartandusehisbonestopickmyteeth.
Hemust’veknownittoo,becausehefellsilentandmovedaninchawayfromme.“Itwasajoke,”hemuttered.“Takeyourjobabittooseriously,don’tyou?”
“Showsomerespect.That’sthecrownprincess.”Andyou’renotworthyofscrapingthedirtoffhershoes.
HowthehellhadSabrinaendedupwithJosephasherbodyguard?Themanhadthesocialtactofabrick,andthatwascomingfromme,someonewhocouldn’t—andwouldn’t—kissassifsomeonegluedmylipstoone.
Josephwassmartenoughnottotalkagain.Hestoodafewfeetawaywithasurlyexpression,butIdidn’tgiveacrapifhewasoffended.Ihadotherthingstoworryabout.
Thesongchanged,butSteffanandBridgetremainedonthedancefloor.Iknewshewasstayingoutofsocialobligation,butitdidn’tsuckanylesstoseethemtogether,especiallysinceJosephwasright.Theydidmakeawell-matchedcouple.Bridget,angelicandregal.Steffan,clean-cutanddebonairinhisfancytuxedo.
Thentherewasme,tattooedandscarred,hauntedbythethingsI’ddoneandthebloodonmyhands.
Byallaccounts,Steffanwasthebetter,andeasier,optionforBridget.Hergrandfather,thepalace,thepress…theywereallsalivatingforaPrincessandtheDukelovestory.
Ididn’tgiveaflyingfuck.
Bridgetwasmine.
Shewasn’tminetotake,butIwastakingheranyway.Herlaughs,herfears,herjoyandherpain.Everyinchofherbodyandbeatofherheart.Allmine.
AndI’dhadenoughofwatchingherinanotherman’sarms.
Ileftmypostandstalkedacrossthedancefloor,ignoringJoseph’snoiseofprotest.Iwasbreakingeveryruleofprotocol,butitwaslateandmostguestswerealreadytoodrunktopayattentiontome.Iwasanemployee,beneathmostoftheirnotice,andinthatinstance,itworkedinmyfavor.
“YourHighness.”Adarkedgebledthroughmyotherwiseevenvoice.“Sorrytointerrupt,butJulescalled.There’sanemergency.”
IwasholdingBridget’sphonewhileshedanced,sotheexcusemadesense.
Alarmcrossedherface.“Oh,no.Itmustbeserious.Shenevercallsforemergencies.”SheglancedatSteffan.“WouldyoumindterriblyifI—”
“Ofcoursenot,”hesaid.Therewasnotraceoftheawkward,uncomfortableSteffanfromthehotel.“Iunderstand.Please,takethecall.I’llbehere.”
Ibetyouwill.MaybeIcouldbribeaservertoslipsomethingintohisdrink.Notenoughtokillhim,butenoughtoincapacitatehimfortherestofthenight.
IhandedBridgetherphonetokeepuptheruseasweexitedthereceptionroom,butIsaid,“Julesdidn’tcall.”
“What?”Herbrowknitinconfusion.“Thenwhydidyou—”
“Hewasgettingtooclose.”Iclenchedmyteethsohardmyjawhurt.
AbeatpassedbeforeBridget’sfacecleared.Sheglancedaroundbeforewhispering,“YouknowIhadtodancewithhim.”
“Youdancedwithhimtwice.”
“Rhys,he’stechnicallymydate.”
Itwasthewrongthingtosay,andjudgingbythewayBridgetwinced,sheknewit.
IstoppedinfrontofwhatIknewwasthelibraryfrommypre-weddingadvancework.“Getin,”Isaidcurtly.
AhardswallowdisturbedthedelicatelinesofBridget’sthroat,butsheobeyedwithoutargument.
Ifollowedherinsideandlockedthedoorbehinduswithasoftclick.Theroomwasn’tfullyfurnishedyet,anditwasemptysaveforarug,atable,andalargemirror.Thelightswereoff,buttherewasenoughmoonlightstreamingthroughthecurtainsformetospotBridget’swaryexpression.
“Itoldyou,Ihadtobringhim,”shesaid.“Everyoneexpectedmetobringadate,anditwould’vebeenweirdifIonlydancedwithhimonce.”
“Stopsayingtheword‘date.’”Itcameoutsoftanddangerousenoughsheshivered.
IwalkedtothetablebythewindowandleanedagainstitwhilewatchingBridgetthroughdark,hoodedeyes.
Possessivenessandangergrippedme—notather,butatoursituationandaworldwherewewereforcedtosneakaroundlikecriminals.Ihatedhavingtohideher,us.Iwantedtheworldtoknowshewasmineandminealone.Iwantedtotattoomyselfintoherskinandsinkintohersofuckingdeepshecouldnevergetmeout
“Takeoffyourdress,”Isaid.
“Rhys—”
“Take.It.Off.”
IheardBridget’sbreathhitchfromacrosstheroom,butshedidn’targueagain.Instead,shereachedbehindheranddidasIasked,keepinghereyesonminetheentiretime.
Otherthanourharshbreaths,thesoftmetallicslideofthezipperwastheonlysoundbreakingthesilence.
Iremainedstill,mymusclescoiledwithtension.
Icouldn’tclaimherthewayIwantedoutsidethesewalls,butrighthere,rightnow,whenitwasjustthetwoofus?
Iwasgoingtotakeheruntilwewerebothutterlyruined.36Bridget
Mydresspooledaroundmyankles,leavingmeinonlymylacebraandthong.Trembleswrackedme—fromanticipationortheslightchillintheair,Iwasn’tsure.Probablyamixtureofboth.
RhyswassilhouettedagainstthemoonlightsoIcouldn’tseehisface,butIcouldfeeltheheatofhisgazeasitrakedoverme.Darkandpossessivelikealover’stouch,leavingatrailofdeliciousgoosebumpsinitswake.
Iwetmylips,dyingtotouchhim,butknowingitwasinmybestinterestnottomoveuntilhetoldmeto.
“Bra.Off.”
Twosecondslater,whitelacejoinedgreensilkonthefloor.
Ireacheddowntoshimmyoutofmyunderwear,butalowgrowlhaltedmymovements.
“Ididn’ttellyoutodothat.”Rhys’seyeslingeredonmybreasts,andmynipples,alreadysohardtheycouldcutglass,pebbledfurther.“Keepyourunderwear,gloves,andheelson,”hesaid,stillinthatdeceptivelysofttone.“Andcrawltome.”
Mybreathgustedoutinshockevenasmycorespasmedattheorder.
I’dnevercrawledforanyoneinmylife—whileIwasallbutnaked,noless.EvenifIwasn’tthefuturequeen,itwouldbedegrading.Humiliating.Depraved.
AndI’dneverbeenmoreturnedon.
Isanktomyhandsandknees,shiveringagainatthefeelofthecoolwoodflooragainstmybareskin.
AndIbegantocrawl.
Theroomwasn’tthatbig,buttheanticipationmadeitseemendless.Halfwayacross,Iglimpsedmyselfinthefull-lengthmirrormountedonthewall,andmyskinburnedatthesight.
Istillworetheelegantelbow-lengthglovesthatcamewithmybridesmaidoutfit,butwhenpairedwithonlymyheelsandthong,theylookedobscene.
Mybreathinggrewchoppier.Iwassowetmythighsslidagainsteachother,andbythetimeIreachedRhys,Iwasdrippingalldownmylegs.
Istoppedathisfeetandlookedup.Icouldseehimmoreclearlynow,buthisexpressionremainedunreadableexceptforthefireblazinginhiseyes.
“Goodgirl.”Hefistedmyhairwithonehandandusedtheothertounbucklehispants.Hiscocksprungout,thickandhard,theswollenheaddrippingwithpre-cum.
God,Ineededtotastehim.Noonehadeverturnedmeonasmuchashedid.Everyword,everytouch,everyglance.Iwanteditall.
Istaredathimwithpleadingeyes.
Rhyshadn’tfinishednoddingbeforeItookhiminmymouth,savoringhisgroansandthewayhepulledmyhairasIeagerlylickedandsucked.
“Whatwouldyourpeoplesayiftheycouldseeyounow,princess?”hegrunted,pushinghiscockdeeperuntilithitthebackofmythroat.Ispluttered,myeyeswateringfromthesheersizeofhim.“Crawlingandchokingonyourbodyguard’scock?”
Imoanedoutanunintelligibleresponse.Myhanddriftedbetweenmylegs,butIdidn’tmakecontactbeforeheyankedmeupandcapturedmymouthinahard,punishingkiss.
HewasstillangryaboutSteffan.Icouldtasteitonhistongue,feelitintheroughnessofhishandsashesqueezedmyass.
“You’remorethanjustabodyguardtome.”Ineededhimtounderstandthat,evenamidourlust-drenchedhaze.
“Yeah,Icangetyouoff,too,”Rhyssaidcaustically.“Betnoneofthelily-liveredaristocratsouttherecanfuckyouthewayyouneed.”
Ididn’ttakethebait.“It’smorethanthat.”
ItwastheclosestI’dcometovoicingwhatwasinmyheart.
SomethingvulnerableflickeredinRhys’seyes,andhistouchgentledforasecondbeforehisfacehardenedagain.Hespunmearoundandbentmeoverthetable,pressinghisbodyagainstmineuntileveryinchofhimmeldedintoeveryinchofme.
Heloweredhismouthtomyearandtangledoneofhishandswithmine.“Iwantyoutoknowsomething,princess,”hesaid,hisvoiceahoarseraspagainstmyskin.“There’snotmuchintheworldIwanttoclaimasmine.I’veseenanddonetoomuchshitinmylifetobelieveinforever.Butyou…”Hegraspedmychinwithhisfreehand.“Youbelongtome.Idon’tgiveafuckwhatthelaworanyoneelsesays.Youaremine.Understand?”
“Yes.”Isqueezedhishand,myheartandbodyachingforcompletelydifferentreasons.
Rhysexhaledaharsh,shudderingbreathandpulledback.Iwasabouttoprotestbeforeheroughlypartedmythighsandyankedmyunderweardown.
Theballofanticipationinmystomachcoiledtighter.
“There’ssomethingelseyoushouldknow.”Hedraggedtwofingersthroughmywetnessbeforeshovingtheminmymouth,forcingmetotastemyjuices.Anunbiddenmoanslippedoutattheunfamiliartangonmytongue.“Idon’tlikeitwhenotherpeopletouchwhat’smine.Especiallywhenit’sadatewho’snotme.”
IknewI’dbeenintroubletheminuteIsaidthat.
“Butmaybeyouneedalessontodrivethatpointhome.”Rhysrubbedhisthumbovermyswollenclitbeforehispalmlandedwherehisthumbhadbeen.Mybodyjerked,andayelpofsurpriseandpaintorefrommythroat,butRhys’sfingersinmymouthmuffledthesound.
Hispalmlandedonmypussyagainwithaloudslap.Andagain.Andagain.
Iwasshaking,myeyesfilledwithtearsasrazor-sharpsensationspikedthroughme.Myentireworldhadnarrowedtothepulsingheatbetweenmylegsandthemanwhodoledoutpainandpleasureinequalmeasure.
“Whodoesyourpussybelongto?”Rhysremovedhisfingersfrommymouthandsqueezedmybreast.
“You,”Igasped,clutchingtheedgeofthetablesohardmyknucklesturnedwhite.
“Sayitagain.”Hard.Demanding.Authoritative.
“You!Mypussybelongstoyou.”Myvoicebrokeinasobashedeliveredanotherstingingslaptomyclit.
“That’sright.Itbelongstome,anddon’tyoueverforgetit.”Slap.
Iletoutakeeningwail,tryingtoscrabbleawayandpushbackharderagainsthimatthesametime.Icouldn’ttellwhetherIlovedorhatedwhatwashappening,onlythatIwasdrippingandburningandeveryscrapeofmynipplesagainstthewoodentablesentanotherjoltofheatstraighttomythrobbingclit.
“Areyougoingtodancewithyourdateagain?”Rhys’svoicesoundedremarkablyeven,iftightlycontrolled.
Ishookmyhead,thetearsslidingdownmycheeks.
“Good.”Slap.“Youaresowet,princess.”Slap.“Youshouldseehowprettyandswollenyourclitlooksrightnow.Likeit’sbeggingformetospankitharder.”SLAP.
Itwastoomuch.Thewords,thebrutal,filthypunishment,thefactweweredoingthisjustaroundthecorneranddownthehallfrommyfamilyandfriends.
Iexploded.Hard.Long.Violent.Earsbuzzing,kneesbuckling,showersoflightsburstingbehindmyeyes.Iwould’vefallentothefloorhadRhysnotheldmeupwhilethestrongestorgasmofmylifetorethroughmelikeanelectricstorm,andIhadtodropmyheadandburymyfaceinmyarmtostiflemyscreams.
Iwasstillridingoutthewavesofmymind-shatteringreleasewhenIfeltRhys’stonguegentlystrokemyclit,lickingandsoothinguntiltheburnfaded.
JustasIgatheredmyselftogether,hestoodandslowlypushedhiscockinsideofme.Hewithdrewequallyslowly,untiljustthetipremainedinside,andpaused.Iinhaled,butmyfirstrealbreathofthenightbrokeintoasquealwhenhesuddenlyslammedintomewithaviciousthrust.Hisfistinmyhairkeptmeinplaceashebottomedoutwitheachdownwardstroke,andthecontrastbetweenthegentlenessofhisentryandthesavagefurywithwhichhenowfuckedmescrambledmysensestothepointwhereIcouldonlyholdontothetablefordearlife.
Inandout.Harderandfastereachtimeuntilthetinglesatthebaseofmyspinecamebacktolife,andIcrashedovertheedgeagain.
“Oh,God,Rhys.”
“That’sit,princess.”Hepressedakisstomyshoulder,hismovementsgrowingjerkier.Hewasabouttocome,too.“Suchagoodgirl.Comeforme.”
Idid,endlesslyandunashamedly,breakingintoamillionpiecesaroundhim
AndasRhys,too,camewithaloudgroan,Iwonderedifheknewheownedeveryoneofthosepieces—notjustofmybody,butalsomyheart.37Bridget
RhysandInevermadeitbacktothereception.Bythetimehefinishedwithme,therewasnowayIcould’vefixedmyselfupenoughtofaceotherpeople,soweslippedoutasidedoorandsnuckbacktothepalace.Bysomemiracle,noonesawus.
Itwashorribleformforabridesmaidtoleaveearlywithoutaword,butthepartyhadalreadybeenwindingdownbythetimeweexcusedourselves,andmostpeoplehadbeentoodrunktonoticemyabsence,anyway.
Idid,however,feelawfulaboutleavingSteffanhighanddry.Icalledhimthenextmorningandapologizedprofusely,claimingmyfriend’semergencytooklongerthanexpected.Hewas,asexpected,graciousaboutit.Hehadn’tbeenasjumpyduringthereceptionashe’dbeenatthehotel,buthe’dbeendistracted,andIsuspectedhemight’vebeenrelievedbymyabruptdeparture.
“Wheredidyougo?”MikaelaaskedafterIwrappedupmycall.Wewereinmyroom,brainstormingwaystogetErhalltobringtherepealmotionfortheRoyalMarriagesLawtothefloor.“Youdisappearedhalfwaythroughthereception.”
“Oneofmycollegefriendscalledwithanemergency.”IavoidedhergazeasIstudiedErhall’sparliamentaryvotingrecord.
“Really?”Shesoundeddoubtful.“Eventhoughyou’reindifferentcountries?”
“Sheneededadviceonapersonalissue.”
Anotherlie.Theywerepilingup,oneafteranother,andsoonIwouldn’tbeabletodigmyselfout.
Iturnedthepagewithmoreforcethannecessary.
“Okay.”Ahintofdoubtremained,butMikaeladidn’tpresstheissue.“Ionlyaskbecauseyourcousinwaslookingforyou.”
Ifroze.“Andreas?Hewaslookingformeatthereception?”
“Yeah,hesaidhehadsomethingimportanttotellyou.”
Myheartratekickedintooverdrive.You’reoverreacting.I’dthoughtAndreashadalreadyleft.I’dheardhimsaygoodbyetoNikolaiandSabrinalongbeforeRhysandIexited.HadIheardwrong,orhadhereturnedforsomereason?DidheseemeandRhysleave?Evenifhehad,hecouldn’thaveknownwhatweweredoing…unlesshefollowedus.ButifAndreasdidknow,hewould’vethrownitinmyfacetheminutehecould,andanentiredayhadalreadypassed.
MyheadspunasIranthrougheverypossiblescenario.
“DidyoutellhimwhereIwas?”
“No,”Mikaelasaidslowly.“Ididn’tknowwhereyouwere.Remember?”
“Right.Sorry.”Ipressedmyfingerstomytemple,tryingtosortthroughmythoughts.“Mybrainisfriedrightnow.Canwepickthisuplater?”
“Sure.Ihaveadinnerreservationsoonanyway.”Worryslidacrossherfeaturesasshepackedherbagandslungthestrapoverhershoulder.“Areyousurenothingelseisthematter?You’vebeenactingweirdforweeks.”
“Yes,I’mjuststressed.Ineedavacation.”Iforcedalaugh.“I’lltalktoyoulater.Enjoydinner.”
AfterMikaelaleft,IsetmynotesonErhallasideandansweredthatweek’slettersfromcitizensinstead.Themailvolume,bothphysicalandelectronic,hadgrownsomuchI’dhadtobringonassistants,butIstilllikedtoreplypersonallywhenIcould.Besides,itwasagooddistractionfrommyworriesoverAndreas.
IwasreadingtoomuchintoonethrowawaycommentfromMikaela.Andreascould’vebeenlookingformeforanynumberofreasons,andhehadaskewedideaofwhatwasimportant.He’dprobablywantedtocomplainaboutbeingseatedatthewrongtableforthereceptionorsomething.
I’dmadeithalfwaythroughthepileofletterswhenmylaptoppingedwithanewemailnotification.Ialmostignoredit,butsomethingcompelledmetoclickintoit,andmysuspicionspikedwhenIsawthesender’semailmessage—arandomstringofnumbersandlettershostedbyadomainI’dneverheardof—andtheone-linemessage.
Notcarefulenough,YourHighness.
IstaredattheMP4fileattachedtotheemail.Noname,nohintastowhatitcontained.
NotopeningstrangefilesfromunknownsenderswasComputerSecurity101,butthiswasanemailonlymyclosecirclehad.Ihadaseparateoneforpubliccorrespondence.
Thenagain,itwasn’tdifficulttofindanemail,evenaprivateone.
Mycuriosityoutweighedmyreservations,andIclickedonthefile.
Forgiveme,computersecuritygods.
Thevideopoppedupandauto-played.Itwassodarkandgrainyittookmeaminutetofigureoutwhatwashappening,butwhenIdid,alltheblooddrainedfrommyface.
IclutchedtheedgeofmydeskandstaredinhorrorattheclipofmeandRhysinNikolai’slibrary.Evenwithnosound,itwasdamning—mebentoverthetable,himgrippingmyhairandpoundingintomefrombehind.
Itwasdarkenoughwewould’vebeenunrecognizablehadInotturnedmyheadhalfwaythroughthevideo.Rhys’sfacenevershowedoncamera,buthishair,height,andbuildmadehisidentityaforegoneconclusion,anditwouldn’ttakemucheditingtocleanupthequalityandbrightenitenoughthatanyonewhowatchedwouldknowexactlywhowasdoingwhat.
I’mgoingtobesick.
Myskinfelthotandclammy,andastrangebuzzingfilledmyearsasquestionafterquestionracedthroughmyhead
Wheredidthevideocomefrom?Whocouldhavegottentheirhandsonitsoquickly?Whoknewwheretolook?
Judgingbytheangle,thecamerahadbeeninsidetheroom,eventhoughNikolaiandSabrinahadbeenadamantaboutnothavingsecuritycamerasintheirprivatequarters.Someonemust’veplanteditthere.WeretheyhopingtocatchNikolaiandSabrinadoingsomethingandcaughtRhysandmeinstead?Butwhywould’vetheyhaveplantedacamerainanunfinishedlibrary,ofallplaces?Whynotthebedroomsoroffice?
Mostimportantlyofall…whatdidthesenderwant?38Bridget
Iwasamessofnervesfortherestoftheweek.Itriedtohideit,buteveryonenoticed—Rhys,Mikaela,myfamily.Iblameditonstress,butIwasn’tsureanyonebelievedme.
Ididn’ttellanyoneaboutthevideo.Notyet.Thesenderhadn’tcontactedmesince,andmyrepliestotheiremailallbounced.IconvincedNikolaiandSabrina’ssecurityteamtosweeptheirhouseforbugsasa“preventativemeasure,”buttheydidn’tfindanything,noteveninthelibrary.
Itshould’vemademefeelbetter,butitonlyputmemoreonedge.Whoeverthesenderwas,theycouldmoveinandoutofoneofthecity’smosthighlyguardedbuildingswithoutbeingdetected,andthatwasn’tgood.Atall.
MytopsuspectwasAndreas,buthewasn’tthetypetoholdback.IfhehadadamningvideoofmeandRhys,hewouldholditovermyhead.Tauntmewithit.Probablyblackmailme.Hewouldn’tsenditonceandnotfollowupagainforalmostaweek.
He’dlookedformeatthereception—Istilldidn’tknowwhatfor,asIhadn’tseenhimsincetheweddingandhehadn’tcontactedme—butthatwaswhileRhysandIwereinthelibrary.
Ifitwasn’tAndreas,whocoulditbe?Andwhenwouldtheothershoedrop?
Becausetherewasanothershoe.Iwassureofit.
“Something’sbotheringyou,”Rhyssaidonourwaybacktothepalacefromacharityshopribbon-cuttingceremony.“Don’ttellmeit’sstress.It’snot.”
Imusteredaweaksmile.“Youthinkyouknoweverything.”
IshouldtellRhys.He’dknowwhattodo.Butasmall,stupid,selfishpartofmewasafraidofwhattellinghimwoulddotous.Ifhefoundoutsomeoneknewaboutus,wouldhewithdrawandbreakthingsoff?
IfIdidn’ttellhim,though,thevideocouldblowupinourfaces,andI’dlosehimanyway.
Myheadachedwithindecision.
“Iknoweverythingaboutyou.”Rhys’swordsrolledoverme,deepandconfident.
Justtellhim.GetitoverwithlikerippingoffaBand-Aid.Otherwise,thesecretwouldhangovermyheadforGodknewhowlong,likeaguillotinewaitingtostrike.
BeforeIcouldbroachthesubject,however,thecarstopped.I’dbeensocaughtupinmythoughtsIhadn’trealizedwewereheadingawayfromthepalaceinsteadoftowardit.
Rhyshadparkedonthesideoftheroad,nexttoaforestontheoutskirtsofAthenberg.I’dcampedthereoncewithNikolaiinhighschool—understrictsupervision,ofcourse—butIhadn’tbeenbacksince.
“Trustme,”hesaidwhenhenoticedmyconfusion,whichonlyincreasedasheledmethroughtheforest.Acleartrailsnakedbetweenthetrees,sootherpeoplemust’vetakentheshortcut,eventhoughtheforesthadamainentrancewithagiftshopandparkinglot.
“Wherearewegoing?”Iwhispered,notwantingtobreakthereverenthushblanketingthetrees.
“You’llsee.”
Crypticasalways.
Isighed,equallyannoyedandintrigued.
Partofmewantedtotellhimaboutthevideonow,butIcouldn’tverywellruinthemoodbeforeIsawthesurprise,couldI?
Excuses,excuses,myconsciencewhispered.
Iignoredit.
Whenwearrivedatourdestination,though,Icouldn’tholdbackasmallgasp.“Rhys…”
Westoodinaclearing,emptyofeverythingexceptforalarge,beautifulgazebo.Ididn’tevenknowtheforesthadagazebo.
Myheartpinchedattheclearcallbacktoourfirsttimetogether.
“Ifwegetcaught,pullrank.”Rhysheldouthishand.Itookitandfollowedhiminsidethewoodenstructure.“We’reprettyfarfromthemaintrailthough,soweshouldbefine.”
“Howdidyoufindthisplace?You’reliketheGazeboWhisperer.”
Helaughed.“Iplannedonhikingheresometimeandstudiedthetrailmaps.Thegazeboisn’tasecret.Mostpeoplearejusttoolazytocomeallthewayouthere.”
“Why…”Itrailedoffagainwhenhefiddledwithsomethingonhisphoneandsoftmusicfilledtheair.
“Wenevergottodanceatthewedding,”hesaidsimply.
“Youdon’tlikeitwhenIdance,”Ihalf-joked,tryingtohidetheemotionwellinginmychest.
WhathappenedinthelibraryduringNikolai’sreceptionwouldforeverbeetchedinmymind.
“Iloveitwhenyoudance.Butonlywithme.”Heplacedhisfreehandonthesmallofmyback.
“Youdon’tdance.”
“Onlywithyou.”
Theburnintensified.“Careful,Mr.Larsen,orI’llthinkyouactuallylikeme.”
Hismouthcurledintoagrin.“Baby,we’rewaybeyondlike.”
Thebutterfliesinmystomachexploded,andasweet,goldenwarmthfilledmyveins.
Forthefirsttimeindays,Ismiled
IsteppedintoRhys’sembrace,andweswayedtothemusicwhileIburiedmyfaceinhischestandinhaledhisclean,comfortingscent.
Ourdanceswouldalwaysbeours.Secret,private…forbidden.
Partofmecherishedthemomentsthatbelongedtousalone,butpartofmewishedwedidn’thavetohide.Weweren’tadirtysecret.Wewerethemostbeautifulthinginmylife,andIwantedtoshareitwiththeworldthewayallbeautifulthingsdeservedtobeshared
“Where’dyougo,princess?”Heskimmedhisknucklesdownmyback,andIsmiledthroughtheacheinmyheart.
Heknewmesowell.
“I’mrighthere.”Itiltedmyfaceupandkissedhim.Wetookitslowandsweet,exploringeachotherwiththeleisureofpeoplewhohadallthetimeintheworld.
Exceptwedidn’t.
Thekiss,themusic,thegazebo…itwastheperfectmoment.But,likeallmoments,itcouldn’tlast.
Eventually,itwouldend,andsowouldwe.
***
“Bridget,wakeup!”
Thenextmorning,loudpoundingrousedmefrommysleep.
Igroaned,mybodyresistingmovementevenasmyheartinvoluntarilygallopedatthesheerpanicinMikaela’svoice.
“Bridget!”Morepounding.
“Onemoment!”IforcedmyselfoutofbedandthrewonadressinggownbeforeIopenedthedoor,takinginMikaela’swideeyesandnervousexpression.Herskinwaspalerthanusual,makingherfrecklesstandoutlikeadarkconstellationacrosshernoseandcheeks.
Shelivedonlyafewminutesfromthepalace,butshewouldn’tbeheresoearlyunlessitwasanemergency.
“Whatisit?”
Wasitthevideo?
Mystomachlurched.God,Ishould’vetoldRhysyesterday,butIhadn’twantedtodestroyourtimeatthegazebo,andthen…then…
Oh,whowasIkidding?Ihadplentyoftimetotellhimafterward.I’djustchickenedoutlikeacoward,andnow,thechickenswerecominghometoroost
Breathe.Staycalm.Youdon’tknowwhat’sactuallyhappeningyet.
“It’s…”Mikaelahesitated.“Bridge,turnonTheDailyTea.”
TheDailyTeawasacelebritynewsandentertainmentmediacompanythatincludedthecountry’smost-readmagazineandoneofitsmost-watchedtelevisionstations.Someconsideredittrashy,butithadahugeaudience.
Mikaelafollowedmetothesittingroom,whereIpickeduptheremotewithshakyhandsandturnedontheTV.
“…reportsPrincessBridgetisinarelationshipwithherbodyguard,anAmericancontractornamedRhysLarsen.”TheDailyTeahost’svoicetrembledwithexcitement.“LarsenhasbeenbyhersidesincehersenioryearattheprestigiousThayerUniversityintheU.S.,andsuspicionsabouttheirrelationshiphaveaboundedforyears…”
Foryears?Thatwas,forlackofbetterwords,utterbullcrap.RhysandIhadn’tevenlikedeachotheryearsago.
Iwatched,disbeliefsearingthroughme,ascandidpicturesofusflashedon-screenwiththehost’svoiceovercommentary.UswalkingdownthestreetwithRhys’shandonmylowerback—tosteermearoundapuddlewhenIwasn’tlooking,ifIrememberedcorrectly.Rhyshelpingmeoutofthecaratacharitygalawhileoureyeslockedontoeachother.Mestandingalittletooclosetohimatanoutdooreventafewmonthsago,butonlybecauseitwasfreezingandIneededthebodywarmth.
Allinnocentmomentsthat,framedinacertainwayandcapturedatacertainsecond,madethemlooklikemorethantheywere.
Thenthemoredamningphotossurfaced.RhysglaringatSteffanduringourice-skatingdate,lookingforalltheworldlikeajealousboyfriend.HimpressingmeagainstthecarintheparkinglotoftheRoyalBotanicGardens.Usleavingthehotelwherewe’dspentthatonegloriousafternoon,ourheadsbentclosetogether.
Howthehellhadsomeonecapturedthosepictures?Otherthantheicerink,wehadn’tspottedanypaparazzifollowingus.Thenagain,we’dbeendistracted—horriblyso.
Onthebrightside,therewasnomentionofthesextape.IfTheDailyTeahadgottentheirhandsonit,itwouldbetheonlythingtheytalkedabout.
“Isthistrue?”Mikaelaasked,hereyeshuge.“Tellmeit’snottrue.”
“They’rejustpictures,”Ideflected.
Ibreathedalittleeasier.Onlyalittle,becauseitwasstillahugemess,butitwasfixable.Theydidn’thavethevideo.“Wecan—”
“BRIDGET!”
MikaelaandIexchangedwide-eyedglancesasmygrandfather’sbellowthundereddownthehall.
Uh-oh.
***
Anhourlater,Isatinmygrandfather’sofficewithElin,Markus,andNikolai,who’dinsistedonjoiningtheemergencymeeting.Mikaelahadbeenpolitelybutfirmlydismissed.Iwasn’tsurewhereRhyswas,butitwouldonlybeamatteroftimebeforehewasropedintotheconversation.
“YourHighness,youmusttellusthetruth.It’stheonlywaywecanhelpyoufixthis.”WheneverElinwaspissed,herlefteyewouldtwitch,andrightnow,itwastwitchinghardenoughtopopabloodvessel.“Isthereanytruthtotheallegations?”
I’dreachedaforkintheroad.
Icouldeitherlieanddragoutthecharade,orIcouldtellthetruthandletthechipsfallwheretheymay.
IfIdidthelatter,Rhyswouldbefired,buthewasprobablyalreadyonthechoppingblockwhetherornottheallegationsweretrue.Hewastoohighprofilenow,andpeoplewouldgossipregardless.Thepalacecouldn’taffordthatkindofdistraction.
ButifIlied,Icouldatleastbuyussometime.Notalot,butsome,andthatwasbetterthannothing.
“Bridge,youcantrustus,”Nikolaisaidgently.“We’reheretohelpyou.”
Notreally,Iwantedtosay.You’reheretohelpthecrownanditsreputation.
Perhapsthatwasunfair,butitwastruetovaryingextents.Theydidn’tcareaboutme,Bridget.Theycaredabouttheprincess,thecrown,andourimage
Mygrandfatherandbrotherlovedme,butwhenitcamedowntoit,theywouldchoosewhatwasgoodfortheroyalfamilyasaninstitutionoverwhatwasgoodforme.
Ididn’tfaultthemforit.Itwaswhattheyhadtodo,butitmeantIcouldn’ttrustthemwithmybestinterests.
TheonlypersonwhohadeverseenmeandputmefirstwasRhys.
Ilookedaroundtheroom.Therewasmygrandfather,whoseexpressionremainedneutralevenasangerandworryflickeredinhiseyes.Markus,tight-facedandtight-lipped,whowasnodoubtfantasizingaboutwringingmyneck.Elin,whoforoncewasn’tlookingatherphonebutwasinsteadstaringatmewithbatedbreath.Andfinally,Nikolai,byfarthemostsympatheticofthebunch,thoughwarinesscreasedhisbrow.
ThenIthoughtaboutRhys.Hisroughhandsandroughvoice,andthewayheheldme.Kissedme.Lookedatme,likeheneverwantedtoblink.
Baby,we’rewaybeyondlike.
Itookadeepbreath,steeledmyself,andtookaforkintheroad.
“Theallegationsaretrue,”Isaid.“Allofthem.”
Iheardasharpintakeofbreathallaround.MarkuspinchedhistemplewhileElinflewintoaction,herfingersmovingoverherphonefastenoughtostartaCategoryFourhurricane.
DisappointmentcarveddeepgroovesintoEdvard’sface.“Mr.Larsen’semploymentisterminated,effectiveimmediately,”hesaid,histonesharperthanI’deverheardit.“Youwillendtherelationshipandneverseeorspeaktohimagain.”
Hespokenotasmygrandfather,butasmyking.
Mynailsdugintomythighs.“No.”
Anothersharpintakeofbreathfromeveryonepresent.
Edvardstraightened,theremainingneutralityinhisfacegivingwaytoanger.I’dneverdisobeyedhim,notwhenitcametothebigthings.Ilovedandrespectedhim,andIhateddisappointinghim.
ButIwassickandtiredofotherpeopledictatinghowIshouldliveandwhoIshouldbewith.WhileIwouldneverhavethefreedomofanormalperson,onewhohadn’tbeenbornintothislife,Ihadtodrawthelinesomewhere.HowwasIsupposedtoruleacountryifIcouldn’tevenrulemyownlife?
“Ican’tstopyoufromfiringRhys,”Isaid.“ButI’mnotendingmyrelationshipwithhim.”
“Oh,forfuck’ssake.”ItwasthefirsttimeI’deverheardMarkuscurse.“YourHighness,heis—was—yourbodyguard.Heisacommoner.Youarefirstinlinetothethrone,andthelawdictates—”
“Iknowwhatthelawdictates.Ihaveaplan.”
Well,halfaplan,butifIroundedup,itwasafullplan.IknewwhatIneededtodo,Ijustneededtofigureouthowtodoit.TherewereahandfulofministersIwascertainwouldsupportarepealoftheRoyalMarriagesLaw,buttheothersneededoverwhelmingpublicsupportforpoliticalcover.
However,ifIbroughtuptheissuenow,withtheallegationsfloatingaround,ImightaswellwaveasignscreamingIt’strue!I’minarelationshipwithmybodyguard!
Edvard’sfacereddenedwhileMarkusglaredatme.
“How?”Mygrandfather’sadviserlookedlikehewantedtochuckoneofthethousand-pagelawtomesliningthewallsatme.“IfyouthinkParliamentwilloverturnthelaw,trustme,theywon’t.WewentoverthiswithPrinceNikolai.Forthemtoevenconsiderit,theSpeakerhastointroducethemotion,andLordErhallhasmadeitveryclearhewouldneverdoso.”
“Electionsarecomingup,”Isaid.“IfIcould—”
Aloudthudinterruptedme.
Forasecond,IthoughtMarkushadfinallycrackedandthrownsomethinginhisanger.ThenIheardNikolai’salarmedshoutandrealized,withice-coldhorror,thatthesoundwasn’tofsomethinghittingtheground.
Itwasofsomeone—mygrandfather,whohadcollapsedoutofhischairandontothefloor.39Rhys
“…reportstheKingisinstableconditionafterhisheartattackfourdaysago.Thepalaceasksthepublictopleaserespecttheroyalfamily’sprivacyatthisdifficulttime,whilewell-wishershaveleftthousandsofcardsandflowersoutsidethepalace…”
Thenewsanchor’svoicedronedfromtheTVinthecornerasIstareddownattheguardinfrontofme.
“Letmebeclear,”Isaid,mycalmvoicebelyingthefurychurninginsideme.“I’mgoingtoseePrincessBridgettoday,onewayoranother.Don’tmakethisthehardway.”
Theguarddrewhimselfuptohisfullheight,whichwasstillagoodsixinchesshorterthanme.“Areyouthreateningme?”
Ismiled,andhegulped.“Yes.”
“Nowyoulisten.I’maRoyalGuard—”
“Idon’t.Give.A.Shit.”IenunciatedslowlyandcarefullyincasehewastoodumbtonoticeIwasthisclosetoshovingasyringeinhisthroatifhedidn’tgetoutofmyway.
Westoodoutsidetheking’sprivatewingofthehospital.It’dbeenfourdayssincetheallegationsaboutBridget’sandmyrelationshipbrokeandthekingsufferedaheartattack.
Fourdaysofnotseeingher,talkingtoher,orknowingwhethershewasokay.
Fourdaysoffuckinghell.
Thepalacehadterminatedmycontractthesamedaytheallegationscameout,citingconcernsovermyabilitytodomyjobduetomy“increasedmediaprofile.”
Ididn’tcareasmuchaboutthetermination,whichI’dexpected,asIdidnotseeingBridgetbeforesecurityescortedmeoffthegrounds.Shehadn’tansweredmycallsortextssincethatday,andIneededtoknowshewasokaybeforeIlostmymind.Hell,Iwasalreadyhalfwaythere.
“You’renotherbodyguardanymore,”theguardsaid.“Onlyfamilyandapprovedstaffareallowedinside.Howdidyougetinhere,anyway?”
Whilepartofmeappreciatedhimstandinghisgroundsincehewasright,Iwasn’tallowedin,amuchlargerpartwasfastrunningoutofpatience.
“Notyourconcern.WhatyoushouldbeconcernedaboutissteppingasidebeforeyouhavetoexplaintotheHeadofRoyalSecurityhowyouendedupwithabrokennose.”
Intruth,I’dhadtodisguisemyselflikeafuckingpopstarhidingfromthepresstogetpastthepaparazzicampedoutsidethehospital.NewsofBridgetandmehadtakenabackseattotheking’shospitalization,butmyfacehadbeensplashedalloverEldorranTV,andIcouldn’trisksomeonespottingme.
ThingsatthehospitalweresocrazyIsnuckuptotheVIPfloorandtheking’sprivatesuitewithoutdetection.Itdidn’tsaymuchabouthospitalorroyalsecurity,evenifIcouldevadeguardsandcamerasbetterthantheaverageperson.
Theguardopenedhismouth,butbeforehecouldspewmorebullshit,thedoorswungopen.Myheartsoaredforasecondattheflashofblondehair,onlytocrashbacktoearthwhenIsawElin’sfrown.
“Mr.Larsen,”shesaid.“IthoughtIheardyourvoice.”Shenoddedattheguard.“I’lltakeitfromhere.”
Reliefspreadacrosshisface,andImadeanoiseofdisgust.I’dtrainedeighteen-year-oldNavyrecruitswithmoreballsthanhim.
Elinopenedthedoorwider,andIwastednotimeinpushingpasttheguardandintotheking’swing.Ididn’tseeBridget,butshecouldbeinanyofthehalfdozenrooms.Theplacewasbiggerthanmostpeople’shouses.
“Iassumeyou’reheretoseePrincessBridget.”Elincrossedherarmsoverherchest,perfectlyputtogetherasalwayswithherbun,suit,andheels.Notahairoutofplaceorawrinkleonherclothing.
Idippedmychin.“Whereisshe?”
“Theking’sroom.Thirddoorontheleft.”
Suspicionunfurledinmystomach.Thisistooeasy.“Justlikethat?”
Elingavemeahardsmile.“You’realreadyhere,Mr.Larsen,andit’ssafetoassumeyouwon’tleaveuntilyouseeher.Idon’tengageinfutileexercises,soplease.”Shegestureddownthehall.“Goahead.”
Mysuspicionrampedupanothernotch,butfuckit,Iwouldn’tlookagifthorseinthemouth.
Iwalkedtotheking’sroomandstoppedinfrontofthedoor,mybreathknottinginmythroatwhenIsawBridgetthroughthesmallwindow.
Shesatnexttohergrandfather’sbed,holdinghishandandlookingsmallerandmorevulnerablethanI’deverseenher.Evenfromadistance,Ispottedthepalenessofherfaceandtherednessofhereyes.
Somethinggrabbedmyheartandtwisted.Hard.
Iopenedthedoorandsteppedinside.“Hey,princess.”Ikeptmyvoicesoft,notwantingtodisturbthehushedquietorwakeuptheking.Sunlightstreamedthroughthewindowsoneithersideofthehospitalbed,addingatouchofcheertothesombermood,buttherewasnoavoidingthebeepingmonitors,orthetubesstucktoEdvard’schest.
Bridget’sshouldersstiffened,andafewbeatspassedbeforeshefacedme.“Rhys.Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“Icametoseeyou.”
Somethingfeltoff.Maybeitwasthewaysheavoidedmyeyesorthetightnessofherexpression,butshe’dgonethroughhellthepastfewdays.Icouldn’texpecthertothrowherselfintomyarmswithabigsmile.“How’syourgrandfather?”
“Better.Weak,butstable.”Shesqueezedhishand.“They’rekeepinghimhereafewmoredays,buttheysaidhecouldbedischargednextweek.”
“That’sgood.Can’tbetoobadifthey’relettinghimleave.”
Bridgetnodded,stillavoidingmygaze,anduneaserippleddownmyspine.“Let’stalkinanotherroom.Hejustfellasleep.”
Shegavehergrandfather’shandanothersqueezebeforewesteppedintothehall.Elinwasgone,andonlythesmellofantisepticandfaintbeepsfromthemonitorontheothersideofthedoordisturbedtheair.
“Here.”Bridgetledmetoaroomtwodoorsdown.“ThisiswhereI’vebeensleeping.”
Myeyessweptoverthespace.Ithadapulloutcouch,akitchenette,andabathroom.Athickblanketdrapedoverthebackofthecouch,andahalf-emptybottleofCokesatonthetablenexttoapileofmagazines.
IpicturedBridgetsleepingherealone,nightafternight,waitingtohearifhergrandfather’sconditionhadworsened,andaneedleofpainjammedintomyheart.
Iwantedtosweepherupinmyarmsandholdhertight,butastrangedistancestretchedbetweenus,givingmepause.Shestoodonlyafewfeetaway,yetitmightaswellbemiles.
“I’msorryIhaven’tansweredyourcallsortexts,”shesaid,fiddlingwiththeblanket.“It’sbeenacrazycoupleofdays.Thepalaceistryingtofigureouthowthepressgottheirhandsonthosephotosofus,andbetweenthatandmygrandfather’shospitalization—”
“Igetit.”Wecoulddealwithallthatlater.“Andyou?Howareyoudoing?”
“Aboutaswellasyou’dexpect.”Shefinallylookedatme,hereyestiredandmissingtheirusualsparkle,andtheneedleofpainpierceddeeper.“NikandIhavebeenstayinghereovernight,buthewenthometotakecareofsomepaperwork.HeandSabrinaarepostponingtheirhoneymoonuntilGrandfather’sbetter.”Sheletoutaweaklaugh.“Whataweddingpresent,huh?”
Yeah,itsucked,butIdidn’tgiveacrapaboutNikolaiandSabrina.Ionlycaredaboutonepersonintheworld,andshewashurting.
“Comehere,princess.”Iopenedmyarms.
Bridgethesitatedforabeatbeforeshefinallyclosedthedistancebetweenusandburiedherfaceinmychest,hershouldersshaking.
“Shh,it’sokay.”Ikissedthetopofherheadandstrokedherhair,aheavinesssinkingintomybonesatthesoundofhersoftsniffles.I’dweatheredartilleryfire,nighttimemissionsinsubarctictemperatures,andmorebrokenbonesandnear-fatalinjuriesthanIcouldcount,butBridgetcryingcameclosertobreakingmethanallthosethingscombined.
“No,it’snot.Ialmostkilledhim.”Bridget’svoicewasmuffled,butherpainshonethroughloudandclear.“Hehadaheartattackbecauseofme.”
Itightenedmyhold,herpainseepingthroughmyskinuntilitbecamemyown.“That’snottrue.”
“Itis.Youweren’tthere.Youdon’tknow…”Shepulledback,hernoseredandhereyesglassy.“Wewerehavinganemergencymeetingaboutthenewsof…youandme.Iconfessedtheallegationsweretrue,andwhenhetoldmetoendthingswithyou,Irefused.IwasarguingwithMarkusaboutitwhenhecollapsed.”Sheblinked,herlashesglitteringwithunshedtears.“Itwasme,Rhys.Don’ttellmeitwasn’tmyfault,becauseitwas.”
Adeepfissuresplitmyheartinhalf.Bridgetalreadyblamedherselfforhermother’sdeath.Toaddtheguiltfromhergrandfather’sheartattackontopofthat…
“It’snot,”Isaidfirmly.“Yourgrandfatherhasanunderlyingcondition.Anythingcould’vesetitoff.”
“Yes,andthistimeitwasme.Hewassupposedtocutbackonhisstress,andIgavehimayear’sworthinoneday.”Bridget’slaughsoundedhollowasshesteppedallthewayoutofmyembraceandwrappedherarmsaroundherwaist.“WhatagreatgranddaughterIam.”
“Bridget…”Ireachedforheragain,butsheshookherhead,hereyesfixedonthefloor.
“Ican’tdothisanymore.”
Everythingfellsilent.Myheartbeat,mypulse,thehumofthefridgeandthetickingoftheclockonthewall.
CouldIstillbealiveifmyheartwasn’tbeating?
“Dowhatanymore?”MyvoicesoundedstrangeinthevacuumBridget’swordscreated.Lower,moreguttural,likeananimalensnaredinatrapofitsownmaking.
Itwasastupidquestion.
Iknewtheanswer.Webothknew.Apartofmehadbeenexpectingthismomentsinceourkissinadarkhallwayalifetimeago,butstill,Ihoped.
Bridgetblinked,thosebeautifulblueeyesshimmeringwithheartachebeforetheyhardened,andmyhopediedaswift,fierydeath.
“This.Us.”Shegesturedbetweenus.“Whateverwehad.Ithastoend.”40Bridget
Don’tlookathim.
IfIlookedathim,Iwouldloseit,andIwasalreadyhalfoutofmymind.Thestress,guilt,andexhaustionofthepastfourdayshadseepedintomybones,turningmeintoawalkingzombie.
ButIcouldn’thelpmyself.Ilooked.
Andmyheartpromptlysplinteredintoevenmorepiecesthanitalreadyhad.
Rhysstaredatme,sostillhecould’vepassedforastatuehaditnotbeenforthepainflickeringinhiseyes.
“Had?”Thatcalm,eventoneneverbodedwell.
“Itwasfunwhileitlasted.”Thewordstastedbitteronmytongue,likepoisonpillsofliesIfedmyselftogetthroughthenexthourandpossiblytherestofmylife.“Butpeopleknow.Everyone’swatchingus.Wecan’tcontinuewhatever…thisis.”
“Fun.”Stillinthatdangerouslycalmvoice.
“Rhys.”Iwrappedmyarmstighteraroundmyself.Thehospitalstaffhadsetthetemperaturetoacomfortableseventy-threedegrees,butmyskinfeltlikeicebeneathmypalms.“Pleasedon’tmakethisanyharderthanithastobe.”
Pleaseletmyheartbreakinpeace.
“ThehellIwon’t.”Hisgrayeyeshaddarkenedtoanearblack,andaveinthrobbedinhistemple.“Tellmesomething,princess.Areyoudoingthisbecauseyouwantto,orbecauseyoufeellikeyouhaveto?”
“Idon’tfeellikeIhaveto.Idohaveto!”Frustrationsearedthroughme,sharpandhot.Didn’thegetit?“It’sonlyamatteroftimebeforethepressconfirmstheallegations.ElinandMarkusandmyfamilyalreadyknow.Whatdoyouthinkisgoingtohappenonceit’salloutintheopen?”
“YourMajesty!”
“Grandfather!”
Nikolai,Markus,andElinrushedtoEdvard’ssidewhileIstoodthere,unabletomove.
Ishouldjointhem.Makesurehewasokay.
Butofcoursehewasn’tokay.He’djustcollapsed…becauseofmeandwhatIsaid.BecauseIthought,foronesecond,Icouldhaveasemblanceofcontrolovermylife.
Ifhedied,thelastconversationwehadwouldhavebeenanargument.
“YouwillendtherelationshipandneverseeMr.Larsenagain.”
“No.”
Somethinginsidemeshriveledintoahusk.
“Bridget…”
Thesoundofmyname,deepandraw,scrapedagainstmywillpower,leavingdentsinsomethingthathadneverbeenstrongtobeginwith.Notwhenitcametohim.
Iclosedmyeyes,tryingtofindthecool,unshakableversionofmyselfIpresentedtothepublic.Theonewho’dsmiledthroughhoursofstandingandwavingwhilemyfeetbledthroughmyheels.Theonewho’dwalkedbehindmyfather’scasketandheldbacktearsuntilIcrumpledintoaballinthebathroomduringthewake.
ButIcouldn’t.I’dneverbeenabletohidewhoItrulywasfromRhys.
Iheardhimwalktowardme.Smelledthatclean,masculinescentthathadbecomemycomfortscentovertheyearsbecauseitmeanthewasnearandIwassafe.FelthimrubawayatearIhadn’tevennoticedhadescapedwithhisthumb
Don’tlookathim.Don’tlookathim.
“Princess,lookatme.”
Ishookmyheadandsqueezedmyeyesshuttighter.Myemotionsformedatightknotinmythroat,makingitnearimpossibletobreathe.
“Bridget.”Firmerthistime,morecommanding.“Lookatme.”
Iresistedforanotherminute,buttheneedtosavemyselffromfurtherheartachepaledcomparedtomyneedtosoakineverylastbitofRhysLarsenIcould.
Ilookedathim.
Graythunderstormsstaredbackatme,cracklingwithturmoil.
“Themesswiththepictures,we’llfigureitout.”Hegraspedmychinandrubbedhisthumbovermybottomlip,hisexpressionfierce.“Itoldyou,you’remine,andI’mnotlettingyougo.Idon’tcareiftheentireEldorranmilitarytriestodragmeaway.”
IwisheditwerethateasyandIcouldsinkintohisfaith,lettingitsweepmeaway.
Butourproblemswentwaybeyondthepicturesnow.
“Youdon’tgetit.Thereisnohappilyeverafterforus.”Weweren’tafairytale.Wewereaforbiddenloveletter,tuckedintothebackofadrawerandretrievedonlyinthedarknessofnight.Wewerethechapterofblissbeforetheclimaxhitandeverythingcrumbledintoash.Wewereastorythatwasalwaysmeanttoend.“Thisisit.”
Mymotherdiedgivingbirthtome.
MyfatherdiedonhiswaybackfrombuyingsomethingI’daskedhimtoget.
MygrandfatheralmostdiedbecauseI’drefusedtogiveuptheonethingthatevermademehappy.
ThatwaswhatIgotforbeingselfish,forwantingsomethingforme.Futurequeensdidn’tliveforthemselves,theylivedfortheircountry.Thatwasthepriceofpower.
NomatterhowmuchItriedtochangereality,itremainedthetruth,anditwastimeIgrewupandfacedit.
Rhys’sgriponmychintightened.“Idon’tneedahappilyeverafter.Ineedtobebyyourside.Ineedyouhappyandhealthyandsafe.GoddammitBridget,Ineedyou.InanywayIcanhaveyou.”Hisvoicebrokeforthefirsttimeinallmyyearswithhim,andmyheartcrackedinresponse.“IfyouthinkI’mleavingyoutodealwiththisbullshitalone,youdon’tknowmeatall.”
Troublewas,Ididknowhim,andIknewtheonethingthatwouldmakehimsnap,butIcouldn’tbringmyselftosayitrightnow.
Onelastselfishthing.
“Kissme,”Iwhispered.
Rhysdidn’tquestionthesuddenshiftinmytone.Instead,hecurledhishandaroundthebackofmyneckandcrushedhislipstomine.Deep,hard,andpossessive,likenothinghadchangedbetweenus.
HealwaysknewwhatIneededwithoutmesayingit.
IdrankupeverydropofhimIcould.Histaste,histouch,hisscent…IwishedIcouldbottleitallupsoIhadsomethingtokeepmewarminthenightsandyearstocome.
Rhyspickedmeupandcarriedmetothecouch,wherehepulledmyskirtupandmypantiesdownandsankintomewithexquisite,deliberateslowness.Stretchingme.Fillingme.Breakingmeintoathousandpiecesandputtingmebacktogether,overandoveragain.
Evenifmyheartached,mybodyrespondedtohimthewayitalwayshad:eager,willing,anddesperateformore.
Rhyspalmedmybreastandswipedhisthumbovermynipple,playingwiththesensitizednubuntilafreshwaveofheatcrestedinmystomach.Allthewhilehepumpedintome,theslow,leisurelyslidesofhiscockhittingaspotthatmademeseestars.
“Rhys,please.”
“Whatdoyouwant,princess?”Hepinchedmynipple,thesuddenroughnessoftheactioncausingmymouthtofallopenwithagasp.
You.Forever.
SinceIcouldn’tsaythat,Isettledforapanted,“Faster.Harder.”
Heloweredhisheadandreplacedhishandwithhismouth,swirlingandlickingwhilehepickedupthepace.Mynailsdugintohisback,andjustasIteeteredovertheprecipice,hesloweddownagain.
Inearlyscreamedwithfrustration.
Faster.Slower.Faster.Slower.
RhysseemedtointuittheprecisesecondIwasabouttocome,andhevariedhisspeed,edgingmeuntilIwasadripping,whimperingmess.Finally,afterwhatfeltlikeaneternity,hegroanedandslammedintome,hismouthclaimingmineinabruisingkissashefuckedintomesohardthecouchinchedacrossthefloorwithasqueak.
Lightsexplodedbehindmyeyes.Iarchedup,mycryswallowedbyhiskissasanotherorgasmtorethroughmeandleftmedrained.
Rhyscamerightaftermewithasilentshudder,andwesankintoeachother’sarms,ourheavybreathsminglingasone.
Ilovedsexwithhim,butIlovedthequietmomentsafterwardevenmore.
“Again.”Iwrappedmylimbsaroundhim,notreadytobreakfreeofourcocoonyet.Justalittlemoretime.
“Insatiable,”hewhispered,runningthetipofhisnoseupmyneckandalongmyjawline.
Ismiledatthereminderofourafternoonatthehotel.Ourlasttrulyhappytimetogetherbeforeeverythingwenttohell.
“Youloveit,”Isaid.
“Yeahprincess,Ido.”
Wespentthenexthourlikethat,climbinghighandcrashingdowntogether.
Itwasperfect,aswereallourstolenmomentstogether.Wefuckedhardandfastandmadelovesweetandslow.Wepretendedthiswasourlife,notjustasnapshotintime,andIpretendedlikemyheartstillbeatinmychestwhenthepieceslayscatteredatourfeet.
“There’snootherway,YourHighness.”Elin’seyesflickeredwithsympathyforasecondbeforeitvanishedandherexpressionhardenedagain.“Ithastobedone.”
“No.”Ishookmyhead,denialdiggingitsclawsdeepintomyskin.“It’stoosoon.He’sfine.Thedoctorssaid—”
“Thedoctorssaidhe’llrecover…thistime.Thefactis,HisMajestywashospitalizedtwiceinoneyear.Wecan’triskathirdhospitalization.”
“Wecancutbackonhisworkload,”Isaiddesperately.“Havehisaideshandlethemorestrenuouspaperworkandmeetings.Hecanstillbeking.”
ElinglancedatMarkus,whostoodinthecornerlookinggrimmerthanI’deverseenhim.
“We’ddiscussedthiswithHisMajestyafterhisfirsthospitalization,”hesaid.“Heexpresslysaidthatifhecollapsesasecondtime,hewouldstepdown.”
Ivaguelyrememberedmygrandfathersayingsomethinglikethatintheweeksafterhisfirstcollapse,butI’dbeensofocusedonNikolai’sabdicationtheimplicationsofithadgonerightovermyhead.
“Irealizethisisperhapsnotthebesttimetodiscussthis,”Elinsaidwithanotherflickerofsympathy.“ButHisMajesty’sconditionisstable,andweneedtostartpreparationsrightaway.”
“Preparations.”Somethingterribletookrootinmystomachandspread.Itseepedintomychest,myneck,myarmsandmylegs,numbingmefrominsideout.
ElinandMarkusexchangedglancesagain.
“Yes,”Elinsaid.“Preparationsforyourcoronationasqueen.”
I’dthoughtIhadmoretime,bothwithRhysandtoconvinceParliamenttorepealtheRoyalMarriagesLaw,butIdidn’t.Timewasup.
“DoyourememberCostaRica?”Rhys’slipsbrushedagainstmineashespoke.Helayontopofme,hispowerfulbodyswallowingmeup,buthe’dproppedaforearmonthecouchsohedidn’tcrushmewithhisweight.
“HowcouldIforget?”Itwasoneofthehappiestmemoriesofmylife.
“YouaskedmeifI’deverbeeninlove.Isaidno.”Hepressedasoftkisstomymouth.“Askmeagain,princess.”
Mylungsconstricted.Breathe.
ButthatwashardwheneverythinghurttothepointwhereIcouldn’trememberwhatitfeltlikenottohurt.Myheart,myhead,mysoul.
“Ican’t.”IforcedmyselftopushRhysaway.
Myskinimmediatelychilledattheabsenceofhisheat,andsmallshiverswrackedmeasIgotoffthecouchandwalkedtothebathroom.Icleanedmyselfandstraightenedmyclotheswithshakyhandswhilehisgazeburnedaholeinmybackthroughtheopendoor.
“Whynot?”
“Because.”Tellhim.Justtellhim.“I’mgoingtobequeen.”
“Wealreadyknewthat.”
“Youdon’tunderstand.”Iwashedmyhandsandreturnedtotheroom,whereIfinallylookedathimagain.Tensionlinedhisfaceandnotchedadeepgroovebetweenhisbrows.“Idon’tmeansomeday.ImeanI’mgoingtobequeeninninemonths.”
Rhysfroze.
“That’snotall.”Icouldbarelyspeakpastthelumpinmythroat.“BecauseoftheRoyalMarriagesLaw,Ihaveto—”
“Don’tsayit.”HisvoicewassoquietIalmostdidn’thearhim.
“Ihavetomarryoratleastgetengagedbeforemycoronation.”Therewouldalreadybebacklashagainstmetakingthethronesosoon.Youneedallthepoliticalgoodwillyoucanget,Markushadsaid.Ihatedit,buthewasright.“I—”
“Don’t.Fucking.Sayit.”
“I’mmarryingSteffan.Healreadyagreed.”
Itwasn’tamarriageoflove.Itwasapoliticalcontract.Nothingmore,nothingless.MarkushadreachedouttotheHolsteinsyesterdayandmadethemsignanNDAbeforemakingtheproposition.They’dagreedafewhourslater.It’dallhappenedsoquicklyitmademyheadspin.
Justlikethat,Ihadafiancé,atleastintheory.Pertheagreement,Steffanwouldofficiallyproposenextmonth,afterthefurorovermygrandfather’shospitalizationdieddown.Asabonus,theengagementwoulddrivetheallegationsaboutmeandRhysoutoftheheadlines,asElinhadnotsosubtlypointedout.
Rhysunfoldedhimselffromthecouch.He’dalreadyfixedhisclothes.Allblack.Blackshirt,blackpants,blackboots,blackexpression.
“Thefuckyouare.”
“Rhys,it’sdone.”
“No,”hesaidflatly.“WhatdidItellyouinthegazebo,princess?Isaidfromthatpointon,noothermantouchesyou,andImeantit.Yousureasfuckaren’tmarryingsomeoneelse.Wehaveninemonths.Wewillfigure.It.Out.”
Iwantedtoagree.Iwantedtobeselfishandstealmoretimewithhim,butthatwouldn’tbefairtoeitherofus
I’dalreadyhadRhysforthreeyears.Itwastimetolethimgo.
Nomorebeingselfish.
“WhatifIwanttomarrysomeoneelse?”
Rhys’snostrilsflared.“Don’tlietome.YoubarelyknowSteffan.Youwentonthreefuckingdateswiththeguy.”
“Royalmarriageisn’taboutknowingsomeone.It’saboutsuitability,andthefactis,he’ssuitableandyou’renot.”IhopedRhysdidn’tnoticethewobbleinmyvoice.“Plus,SteffanandIhavetherestofourlivestogettoknoweachother.”
Ashudderrippledthroughhisbody,andhurtslashedacrosshisface,sorawandvisceralitcutthroughmysoul.
“I’mthecrownprincess,andIneedtoactlikeone,”Isaid,hatingmyselfmorewitheverysecond.“Inallareasofmylife.Ican’tbewithabodyguard.I…”Tearscloggedmythroat,butIpushedpastthem.“I’mmeanttobewithaduke.Webothknowthat.”
Rhysflinched.Onetinymovement,butitwouldhauntmeforever.
“Sowe’reover.Justlikethat.”Itcameoutlowanddangerous,edgedwithpain.
No,notjustlikethat.You’llneverknowhowmuchmyheartisbreakingrightnow.
“I’msorry,”Iwhispered.
IwishedIcouldtellhimI’dneverbeenhappierthanwhenIwaswithhim.
IwishedIcouldtellhimitwasn’taboutthethroneorpower,andthatifIcould,Iwouldgiveupakingdomforhim.
ButI’msorryweretheonlywordsIwasallowedtosay.
TheemotionwipedcleanfromRhys’seyesuntilIwasstaringatsteelwalls,harderandmoreguardedeventhanwhenwe’dfirstmet.
“No,YourHighness,”hesaid.“I’msorry.”
Hewalkedout.
Oneminute,hewasthere.Thenext,hewasgone.
Icrumpled,mykneesgivingoutbeneathmeasIsankontothefloorandhottearsscaldedmycheeksanddrippedoffmychin.MychestheavedsohardIcouldn’tdrawenoughoxygenintomylungs,andIwassureIwoulddierightthereonthehospitalfloor,justafewfeetawayfromthebestdoctorsandnursesinthecountry.Buteventheywouldn’tbeabletofixwhatI’djustbroken.
“Youhavetomove.”
“Ibegyourpardon?”
“Yourhouse.It’sasecuritynightmare.Idon’tknowwhosignedoffonthislocation,butyouhavetomove.”
“Haveyoueverbeeninlove?”
“No.ButIhopetobeoneday.”
“Goodnight,princess.”
“Goodnight,Mr.Larsen.”
Snippetsofmemoriescrowdedmybrain,andIpressedmyfaceintotheblanketdrapedoverthecouch,mufflingmysobs.
“YourHighness?”Elin’svoicefloatedthroughthedoor,followedbyaknock.“CanIcomein?”
No.IwouldbehappyifInevertalkedtoyouagain
ButIhadresponsibilitiestofulfill,andanengagementtoplan.
Iforcedmysobstoslowuntiltheytaperedoff.
Deep,controlledbreaths.Headtiltedup.Tensedmuscles.ItwasatrickI’dlearnedthathadcomeinhandyquiteafewtimesovertheyears.
“Onemoment,”IsaidafterIgotmyselfundercontrol.Ipushedmyselfoffthefloorandsplashedwateronmyfacebeforefixingmyhairandclothes.Iopenedthedoor,myspinestiff.“Whatisit?”
IfElinnoticedanylingeringrednessaroundmyeyesornose,shedidn’tmentionit.“IsawMr.Larsenleave.”
MychinwobbledforasplitsecondbeforeIpressedmylipstogether.“Yes.”
“So,it’sdone.”Sheregardedmewithasearchinglook.
Irespondedwithashortnod.
“Good.It’stherightthingtodo,YourHighness,”shesaidinafargentlertonethanIwasusedto.“You’llsee.Now.”Shesnappedbacktoherusualbriskself.“ShallwegoovertheplansforLordHolstein’sproposal?”
“Sure,”Isaidhollowly.“Let’sgoovertheplansfortheproposal.”41Rhys
Myfirsttasteofalcoholburned.Sodidthesecond.BythetimeImadeitthroughhalfthebottleofwhiskey,however,it’dstoppedburningandstartednumbing,whichwasthebestIcould’vehopedfor.
InthetwodayssinceBridgetendedthings,I’dspiraled.Hard.Ihadn’tleftmyhotelroomsinceIreturnedfromthehospital–partlybecauseIhadnowheretogoandpartlybecauseIhadzerointerestindealingwiththepaparazzi.Ihadenoughproblemswithoutgettingchargedwithassault.
IliftedthebottletomylipsasIwatchedTheDailyTea.ThehospitaldischargedEdvardyesterday,andnowthatthekingwasnolongerinmortaldanger,thepresshaddivedbackintobreathlessspeculationaboutmeandBridget.
Iftheyonlyknew.
Thewhiskeyseareddownmythroatandpooledinmystomach.
Ishouldturntheshowoffbecausehalftheshittheycameupwithwasuttercrap—liketheirclaimsBridgetandIhadanorgywithacertainpopstarcoupleinthesouthofFrance—butasmasochisticasitwas,theirvideoclipsofherweretheonlywayIcouldgetmyfix.
Iwasn’taddictedtoalcohol,notyet,butIwasaddictedtoBridget,andnowthatInolongerhadher,Iwasgoingthroughwithdrawal.
Clammyskin,nausea,difficultiessleeping.Oh,yeah,andagiantfuckingholethesizeofAlaskainmychest.Thatwasn’tlistedontheAddictsAnonymouswebsite.
Ican’tbewithabodyguard.I’mmeanttobewithaduke.
Dayslater,andthememorystillcutdeeperthanaserratedhuntingknife.Bridgethadn’tmeantit.Iknewthat.Thewordswerecruel,andshewasanythingbutcruel.Buttheymirroredmydoubts—abouthowIwasn’tgoodenoughandhowshedeservedbetter—toomuchforthemnottoaffectme.
Ihitthebottomofthebottle.Itosseditasideindisgust,hatingmyselfforsinkingsolowI’dturnedtoalcoholandhatingmyselfevenmoreforleavingthingsthewayIhadwithBridget.
I’dwalkedoutonherintheheatofthemoment,whentheangerandhurthadoverriddeneverythingelse,andI’dregretteditbeforeIevenhitthelobby.
She’ddonewhatshethoughtshehadto,anditfuckingbrokemyheart,butitwasn’therfault.
Asifoncue,thecameracuttoashotofBridgetexitingthehospitalwiththekingandherbrother.Shewaselegantandpolished,asalways,buthersmilelookedemptyasshewavedtothepress.Sadandlonely,twothingsInever,everwantedhertobe.
Mychestburned,anditwasn’tfromthewhiskey.Atthesametime,somethinghardenedwithinme:determination.
Bridgetwasn’thappy.Iwasn’thappy.AnditwasaboutdamntimeIdidsomethingaboutit.
Ididn’tgiveafuckwhatthelawsaid.Shewasn’tmarryingSteffan.I’dvisiteveryministerinParliamentandforcethemtorewritethelawifIhadto.
Someoneknocked.“Housekeeping.”
Myspineturnedrigidatthefamiliarvoice.
Twosecondslater,Ithrewopenthedoorwithascowl.“Whatthefuckareyoudoinghere?”
Christianarchedaneyebrow.“Isthattheproperwaytogreetyourboss?”
“Fuckyou.”
Helaughed,butthesoundlackedhumor.“Charmingasalways.Nowletmeinsowecancleanupyourmess.”
Igrittedmyteethandsteppedaside,alreadyregrettingthisday,thisweek,andmywholedamnlife.
Hewalkedin,hisgazeskimmingovermyhalf-unpackedsuitcaseandtheremainsofmyroomservicedinneronthecoffeetablebeforerestingontheemptywhiskeybottle.Surpriseflashedacrosshisfacebeforehecovereditup.
“Well,thisissad,”hesaid.“You’reatthenicesthotelinAthenbergandyoucouldn’tspringforthefiletmignon?”
Onthesurface,Christianlookedlikethestereotypicalcharming,good-naturedplayboyheportrayedhimselftobe.Eventhoughhewasthirty-one,hecould’vepassedforhismidtolatetwenties,andheusedittohisadvantage.Peoplelookedathispretty-boyfaceandtailoredItaliansuitsandunderestimatedhim.Theydidn’trealizehewasawolfinexpensiveclothinguntilitwastoolate.
“Whatareyoudoinghere,Harper?”Irepeated.
Iknew,ofcourse.He’dchewedmeoutonthephonelastweekafterthenewsaboutmeandBridgetbroke,butIhadn’texpectedhimtoflyheresosoonwithMagdastillmissing.
Ishould’veknownbetter,whichprovedjusthowfuckedintheheadIwasaboutBridget.Icouldn’tthinkstraight.AllIcouldthinkaboutwaswhereshewas,whoshewaswith,andhowshewasdoing.
Itdidn’tmatterthatshe’drippedmyheartouttheotherday.Ifanyonehurtmyprincessinanyway—physically,mentally,oremotionally—therewouldbehelltopay.
“Takeawildguess.”Christianleanedagainstthecounter,thepictureofinsouciance,buthishardgazebeliedhiscasualpose.“Yourclient,Larsen.Afuturequeen.”
“They’retabloidrumors,andshe’snotmyclientanymore.”Ineedanotherdrink.
Iunderstoodnowwhypeopleturnedtoalcoholforcomfortnow.Itfilledapartofourselveswe’dlost,oratleastitgavetheillusionofdoingso.
“Youforget.Iknowwhenyou’relying.”Christian’svoicedroppedseveraldecibels.Hisangerburnedcold,nothot,anditwaswhenhegotquietthatpeopleranandduckedforcover.“EvenifIdidn’t,youthinkIdidn’tlookintothesituationmyself?Whatyoudidisafireableoffense.”
“Sofireme.”Ihadenoughmoneysaveduptotidemeoverforanicelongwhile,andtheprospectofplayingbodyguardtoanyonebutBridgetheldzeroappealforme.
Thethoughtcrystallizedandtookroot.
“Actually,youknowwhat?Iquit.”
Christianstaredatme.“Justlikethat.”
“Justlikethat.”Mymouthflattenedintoagrimline.“Ifuckedup,andI’msorry.ButI’mdonewiththebodyguardgame.”
Hetappedhisfingersonthedresser.Watching.Thinking.“Iassumethingswiththeprincessareover,consideringthewhispersI’mhearingabouther,SteffanHolstein,andanupcomingengagement.”
Alowgrowlrumbledfrommythroat,butheignoredit.
“Whyareyoustillhere,Larsen?Livinglikeahermitanddrinking.”Hislipcurledwithdistaste.ChristianownedoneofthemostextensiveandexpensiverarealcoholcollectionsintheU.S.Hehadnothingagainstdrinking,butIassumedhetookoffenseatthewayIdidit.“Youdon’tdrink.”
“Apparently,Ido.”
“It’stimetoleave.Isaythisnotasyourboss,butasyourfriend.This…”Hegesturedaroundtheroom.“…ispathetic.Nottomention,yourvisaexpiressoon.There’snouseindraggingouttheinevitable.”
IwasinEldorraonaspecialvisathankstomypreviousemploymentwiththepalace,butitexpiredattheendofthemonthnowthatIwasnolongerworkingforthem.
“You’renotmybossanymore,”Isaidcoldly.“I’llleavewhenIwant.”
“JesusChrist,whathappenedtoyou?Useyourhead,Larsen,”Christiansnapped.“Theoneonyourshoulders,notbetweenyourlegs.Orisherroyalpussythatgood—”
Asnarlrippedoutofmychest.Hedidn’tgettherestofhissentenceoutbeforeIcrossedtheroomintwolongstridesandslammedhimagainstthewall.
“Talkaboutherlikethatagain,andI’llfeedyouyourteeth.”
Christianlookedunfazedeventhoughhewastwosecondsawayfromgettinghisfacepoundedin.“It’sneverbotheredyoubefore.Andcarefulwiththesuit.Ijustgotitcustommade.”
“You’vedonealotformeovertheyears.”Dangerthickenedtheair,sopotentIcouldalmosttasteit.I’dbeenspoilingforafight,andhemightjustgiveittome.“Butifyoudon’twatchwhatyousay,thisistheendofourfriendship.”
Heassessedmewithsharpeyes.“Well,well.”Ahintofsurprisedamusementcoloredhistone.“IneverthoughtI’dseetheday.RhysLarseninlove.”
Inlove.
I’dneverbeeninlove.Neverwantedtobeinlove.Hell,Ididn’tevenknowwhatlovewas.ItwasalwayssomethingI’dheardabout,notexperienced,untilImetawomanwhocrackedmyironcladdefenseslikenoonehadbefore.SomeonewholovedtherainandanimalsandRockyRoadicecreamonquietnights.Someonewhosawallmyscarsanduglinessandstillfoundmeworthy,andsomehow,someway,she’dfilledthecracksinasoulIneverthoughtwouldbewholeagain.
Imightnotknowwhatlovewas,butIknewIwasinlovewithBridgetvonAscheberg,tothepointwhereevenI—themanwhowassogoodatdenyinghimselfanythinggoodinlife—couldn’tdenyit.
Therealizationhitmelikeabulletinthechest,andIloosenedmyholdonChristian.
“Nodenial,”heobserved.Heshookhishead.“Ihavenothingagainstlove,otherthanthefactIfindittedious,boring,andutterlyunnecessary.Peopleinlovearethemostinsufferableontheplanet.”Heglancedatapieceoflintonhissuitwithdisdainbeforebrushingitoff.“Butifthat’swhatyouwant,goforit.Justnotwiththeprincess.”
“Mypersonallifeisnoneofyourbusiness.”
Hisgazeturnedpitying,andIwantedtopunchhimalloveragain.Itwasadecentsummaryofourfucked-upfriendship.Oneofuswantedtokilltheotheratanygiventime.It’dbeenthatwaysincewemetinTangier,whereI’dsavedhimfromaslow,torturousdeathatthehandsofawarlordhe’dpissedoff.
Sometimes,likenow,IwishedI’dlefthimtothewarlord’smercy.
“LeaveEldorra.Now.Beforethingsgetevenmoreoutofcontrol,”Christiansaid.“Nomatterhowmanydetoursyoutake,yourstoryonlyhasoneending.Cutitoffbeforeyou’reintoodeepandyoucan’tgetout.”
Toolate.Iwasalreadyintoodeep.
“Getout,”Isaid.
“YouthinkI’mbeingheartless,butI’mtryingtohelpyou.ConsideritmyrepaymentforTangier.”
“Get.Out.”
“Youreallywanttodothis.”Itwasn’taquestion.
“LetmeworryaboutwhatI’mgoingtodo.”
Christiansighed.“Ifyouinsistoncontinuingdownthisroad,Ihavesomethingthatmightbeofinterest.Ididalittlediggingafterthoseheartwarmingphotosofyouandtheprincesssurfaced.”Hereachedintohisjacketpocketandpulledoutasmallenvelope.“Youwanttolookatthis.Soon.”
Ididn’ttakeit.“Whatthehellisit?”
NevertrustaChristianHarperbearinggifts.Thatshouldbeeveryone’smottoinlife.
Butnothingcould’vepreparedmeforwhathesaidnext.
“Theidentityofyourfather.”Hepaused.“Andyourbrother.”42Rhys
Itwasfunnyhowonemomentcouldchangeyourlife.
Onemoment,mymotherwasalive,thenshewasn’t.
Onemoment,mysquadmateswerealive,andthenexteverythinggotblowntohell.Literally.
Onemoment,Iknewmyplaceintheworld,onlyforittogetturnedupsidedownwiththesimpleunfoldingofapaper.
Lastnighthadbeenamindfuckineveryway,andIwasstilldebatingthesoundnessofmydecisiontopaymybrotheravisitasIstaredatthetownhouseinfrontofme.Therewasn’tasmuchsecurityasI’dexpected,thoughthetownhousewasinoneofthesafestneighborhoodsinnorthernAthenberg.
Untilnow,theonlybrothersIhadweretheonesinmySEALunit.Theideaofhavingarealbrother?Itkindoffuckedmeup,tobehonest.
Iwalkedtothefrontdoorandknocked,myskincrawlingwithanticipation.
Christianhadleftthatmorning.Hishadbeenthequickesttripinthehistoryofinternationaltrips,buthehadamessonhishandsintheU.S.soIcouldn’tblamehim.
Itwasjustlikehimtodropabombshellthenleave,though.
Mybrotheransweredonthesecondknock.IfhewassurprisedtoseemestandingonhisdoorstepunannouncedonaThursdayafternoon,hedidn’tshowit.
“Hello,Mr.Larsen.”
“Hello,brother.”Ididn’tbotherbeatingaroundthebush.
Andreas’ssmiledisappeared.Heregardedmeforalongmomentbeforeheopenedthedoorwiderandsteppedaside.
Iwalkedin,myshoessqueakingontheshinymarblefloor.Otherthanafewtouchesofwhite,everythinginthehousewasgray.Lightgraywalls,grayfurniture,grayrugs.Itwaslikesteppingintoanexpensiveraincloud.
Andreasledmetothekitchen,wherehepouredtwocupsofteaandhandedmeone.
Ididn’ttakeit.Ihadn’tcomefortea.
“Youknew.”Igotstraighttothepoint.
Heappearedputoutbymyrefusalandplacedtheextramugonthecounterwithafrown.“Yes.”
“Whythefuckdidn’tyousayanything?”
“Whydoyouthink,Mr.Larsen?TheworldthinksI’maprince.Iamaprince.DoyoureallythinkI’djeopardizethattoclaimkinshipwithanAmericanbodyguardwho,Imightmention,hasbeenquiterudetomeineveryinteractionwe’vehad?”
IstaredAndreasdown.“Howdidyoufindout?”
WhenChristianhandedmethepaperwithmyfather’sandbrother’snames,I’dalmostthrownitout.Iknewinmygutopeningitwouldleadtotrouble.Butintheend,Icouldn’tresist.
Twonames.
AndreasvonAscheberg,myhalf-brother.
ArthurErhall,myfather.
Ourfather.
IwasrelatedtothetwopeopleIdespisedmostinEldorra.Gofigure.
Andreaswassilentforalongwhile.“WhenIfoundoutNikolaiwasabdicating,Iwas…worried.AboutBridget.She’dnevercaredmuchforthethrone,andIdidn’tthinksheevenlikedEldorrathatmuch.Shecertainlyspentenoughtimeawayfromittogivethatimpression.Ithoughtshewasn’tsuitedfortheroleofqueen.”
BarbedwiredugintomyheartatthesoundofBridget’sname.
Blondehair.Sparklingeyes.Asmilethatcouldlightupevenmycold,deadsoul.
It’donlybeenthreedays,andIalreadymissedhersogoddamnedmuchIwould’vecutoffmyrightarmforthechancetoglimpseherinperson,butshe’dbeenlockeduptightatthepalacesincesheleftthehospital.ProbablybusyplanningherengagementtoSteffan.
Acidseepedintomyveins,andIforcedmyselftofocusonwhatAndreaswassayinginsteadofspiralingagain.
“Irealizeyoudon’thaveahighopinionofme,butIdowantwhat’sbestforthecountry.Eldorraismyhome,anditdeservesagoodruler.”
Ibristledattheimpliedinsult.“Bridgetwouldmakeadamngoodruler.”
“Yes,well,you’rebiased,aren’tyou?”Andreasdrawled.“Ihadsomeonedigintowhatshe’dbeendoingduringhertimeinNewYork.Figureoutwhereherheadwasat.Theymentionedyoutwoseemed…close.Closerthantheaveragebodyguardandclient.”
“Bullshit.Iwould’venoticedatail.”
“Youweredistracted,anditwasn’tone.Itwasmultiple.”Andreaslaughedatmydarkexpression.HowthefuckhadImissedatail?“Don’tfeeltoobad.Theyweren’ttheretohurther.Justgatherinformation.Iwascuriousaboutyou,thebodyguardwhoseemedtohavemycousinsoenamored,soIhadmypeopledigintoyourbackground,includingyourparentage.”Hissmilehardened.“ImaginemysurprisewhenIfoundoutwehadthesamefather.Smallworld.”
Histoneremainedlight,butthetensenessofhisjawsuggestedhewasn’tasunbotheredashewantedmetothink.
Thestorywasplausible,exceptformemissingthetail.Ihadbeendistracted,butIdidn’tthinkI’dbeenthatdistracted.
MymindflashedbacktomyuncharacteristicconfrontationwithVincentinBorgia,thelast-minutetriptoCostaRica,andthethousandsoftinythingspre-Bridgetmewould’veneverdone.
Idonotbecomepersonallyinvolvedinmyclients’lives.Iamheretosafeguardyoufromphysicalharm.Thatisall.Iamnotheretobeyourfriend,confidant,oranythingelse.Thisensuresmyjudgmentremainsuncompromised.
Iscrubbedahandovermyface.Fuck.
“Saythat’strue.Wanttoexplaintomehowyou’reaprincewhenyourfatherisamerelord?”
Erhall.Ofallthepeople,ithadtobeErhall.
Bileroseinmythroatatthereminderwewererelated.
Andreas’seyesshuttered.“MymotherhadanaffairwithErhall.Myfather—myrealfather,evenifhewasn’tmybiologicalone—didn’tknowuntilshetoldhimbeforeshedied.Sixyearsago,cancer.Iguessshewantedtogowithaclearconscience.Myfatherdidn’ttellmeuntilbeforehedied,threeyearsago.”Hebarkedoutashortlaugh.“Atleastmyfamilycantakesecretswiththemtotheirgraves.Literally.”
“DoesErhallknow?”
“No,”Andreassaidalittletoosharply.“Andhewon’t.Myfatherwastheonewhoraisedme,notErhall.Myfather…”Ashadowflickeredacrosshisfaceanddisappeared.“Hewasagoodman,andhelovedmeenoughtotreatmelikehisownsonevenafterhefoundoutIwasn’t.Erhall,ontheotherhand,isasnivelingweasel.”
Isnorted.Atleastweagreedonsomething.
Andreas’ssmirkreturnedashetookanothersipoftea.“Here’sasecretforyou.Idon’twantthethrone.Neverdid.I’dstepupifIhadto,ofcourse,butIwouldmuchratherhavesomeoneelsefillthatrole—aslongasthey’recapable.Thethroneisthemostpowerfulseatbutalsothesmallestcageinthepalace.”
“That’suttercrap,”Igrowled.“You’vemadeyourintentionsclearmultipletimes.ThemeetingswiththekingandSpeaker,the‘helpful’visittomyguesthousethenightbeforeNikolai’swedding.Rememberthose?”
“Bridgetneededapush,”hesaidcoolly.“Iwantedtoseeifshe’dfightforthecrown.ButIalsocamebackbecause…”Hehesitatedforabriefsecond.“IwantedtogiveErhallachance.Seeifwecouldconnectsomehow.That’swhyIaskedtoshadowhimduringhismeetings,moresothanmewantingtobeking.Asfortheguesthouse,Iwastryingtohelpyou.I’mnotanidiot,Mr.Larsen.OrshouldIcallyouRhys,nowthatwebothknowwe’rebrothers?”
Iglaredathim,andhechuckled.
“Mr.Larsenitis,”hesaid.“IknewsomethingwasgoingonwithyouandBridgetlongbeforethenewsbroke.Ididn’thaveconfirmation,butIcouldseeitinthewayyoulookedateachother.It’satoughchoice,loveorcountry.Nikolaimadehis.Bridget,well,Iguessshemadehers,too.ButbeforesheagreedtomarrySteffan”—theacidinmyveinsthickenedandpooledinmystomach—“youtwohadashot.ThoughtI’dgiveyoualittlenudge.Youaremybrother,andsheismycousin.TwoofthefewfamilymembersIhaveleft.Consideritmygooddeedfortheyear.”
“Whatcharity,”Isaid,mysarcasmevident.“Youshouldbesainted.”
“Laughallyouwant,butIwaswillingtopushyoutwotogetherbecauseyouweresoclearlyinlove,evenifitmeantIhadtotakeupthemantleshouldBridgetabdicate.Isthatnotasacrifice?”
Itwasasacrifice.ButIwasn’tadmittingthattoAndreas.
Myheadpoundedwiththevolumeofnewinformationrushingin.TherewaseverychanceAndreaswasbullshittingme,butmyguttoldmehewasn’t.
“Ialmosttoldheraboutourfather,youknow.AtNikolai’sweddingreception.Itdoesn’thelpmuchwiththeRoyalMarriagesLaw,sinceitrequiresthemonarchtomarrysomeoneoflegitimatenoblebirth.YouwerebornoutofwedlockandneveracknowledgedbyErhallashisson—hedoesn’tevenknowyouarehisson—soyoudon’tqualify.”Andreasfinishedhisteaandsetitinthesink.“ButshedisappearedfromthereceptionandbeforeIcouldtalktoher,TheDailyTeaallegationsbroke.”Heshrugged.“C’estlavie.”
Dammit.I’dhoped,nowthatIknewIwasthesonofalord…
“Ifitdoesn’thelpwiththelaw,whywouldyoutellher?”Idemanded.
“BecauseIhaveanideaofhowitmighthelpinaroundaboutway.”Andreassmiled.“ItmightevenhelpyougetBridgetbackifyouworkfastenough.Holstein’sscheduledtoproposenextmonth.I’mwillingtohelpyou…”
“But?”Therewasalwaysabutinthesekindsofgames.
“Butyoustoptreatingmelikeanenemyandas…perhapsnotabrother,butafriendlyacquaintance.Weare,afterall,theonlydirectfamilyleftbesidesourlovelyfather.”SomethingflickeredacrossAndreas’sfacebeforeitdisappeared.
“That’sit.”Suspicioncurledinmystomach.Itseemedtooeasy.
“That’sit.Takeitorleaveit.”
Somethingoccurredtome.“BeforeIanswer,Iwanttoknow.DidyoueversnooparoundmyguesthousewhenIwasn’tthere?”
Hegavemeanoddlook.“No.”
“Thetruth.”
Andreasdrewhimselfuptohisfullheight,lookingaffronted.“Iamaprince.Idonotsnooparoundguesthouses…”theworddrippedwithdisdain,“…likeacommonthief.”
Ipressedmylipstogether.Hewastellingthetruth.
Butifhewasn’ttheculprit,whowas?
Isupposeditdidn’tmatteranymore,consideringInolongerlivedthere,butthemysteryrankled.
Idid,however,havemoreimportantthingstofocuson.
Ididn’ttrustAndreas.Hemaybehonesttoday,andhemaynotwanttostealthecrownfromBridget,butthatdidn’tmeanhewouldbehonestalways.
Unfortunately,Iwasrunningoutofbothtimeandoptions.
IhopeIdon’tregretthis.
“Youridea,”Isaid.“I’mlistening.”43Bridget
ThepalaceassignedBoothasmybodyguardagain.I’dbeeninaterriblemoodsinceRhysleft,andthepalacehandlersassumeditwouldhelpifsomeoneIknewandlikedreplacedhim.
BoothtooktheroleafterEdvardleftthehospitaltwoweeksago,andwhilenoonecouldreplaceRhys,itwasnicetoseeBooth’ssmilingfaceagain.
“Justlikeoldtimes,huh,YourHighness?”hesaidaswewaitedforElinandSteffaninmyoffice.Iusuallydidn’thaveaguardinthepalace,butmeetingswithexternalguestswereanexception.
Iforcedasmile.“Yes.”
Boothhesitated,thenadded,“Alothaschangedovertheyears.I’mnoMr.Larsen,butI’lltrymybest.”
AfierceachegrippedmychestatRhys’sname.“Iknow.I’mgladtohaveyouback.Truly.”
Andyet,thoughtsofdarkhairandgunmetaleyes,scarsandhard-wonsmilesstillconsumedme.
TherewasatimewhenIwould’vegivenanythingtohaveBoothasmybodyguardagain.Intheimmediateweeksafterhisdeparture,I’dcursedhimeverydayforleavingmealonewithRhys.
Insufferable,domineering,arrogantRhys,whorefusedtoletmewalkontheoutsideofsidewalksandtreatedeveryvisittoabarlikeamissionintoawarzone.Whoscowledmorethanhelaughedandarguedmorethanhetalked.
Rhys,who’dplannedalast-minutetripformesoIcouldfulfillmybucketlist,eventhoughitmust’vegoneagainsthiseveryinstinctasabodyguard,andwhokissedmeliketheworldwasendingandIwashislastchanceatsalvation.
Theacheintensifiedandspreadtomythroat,myeyes,mysoul.
Hewaseverywhere.Inthechairwherewe’dkissed,thedeskwherewe’dfucked,thepaintingwherewe’dlaughedoverhowtheartisthaddrawnoneofthesubject’seyebrowsalittlehigherandmorecrookedthantheother,givingherapermanentexpressionofsurprise.
EvenifIlefttheoffice,hewouldstillbethere,hauntingme.
Thedooropened,andIcurledmyhandaroundmykneetosteadymyselfasElinandSteffanwalkedin.
“Thankyouforcoming,”IsaidasSteffantooktheseatoppositeme.Itwasmyfirsttimeseeinghiminpersonsincehe’dagreedtotheengagement.
Hegavemeasmilethatlookedalmostasforcedasminefelt.“Ofcourse,YourHighness.Wearegoingtobeengaged,afterall.”
Thewayhesaidit,IwonderedifIhadn’tbeentheonlyoneforcedintothisarrangement.He’dseemedeagerenoughonourfirsttwodates,buthe’dbeendistantanddistractedsincehereturnedfromPreoria.
MymindflashedbacktothetensionI’dpickeduponbetweenhimandMalin
AnawkwardsilencefellbeforeElinclearedherthroatandpulledoutherpenandnotebook.“Excellent.Shallwestartthemeetingthen,YourHighness?Topoftheagendaisthetimingandvenuefortheproposals.LordHolsteinwillproposeinthreeweeksattheRoyalBotanicGardens.It’llbeagoodcallbacktoyourseconddate.We’lltellthepressyou’vebeeninregularcorrespondencewhilehewasinPreoriasoitdoesn’tseemliketheproposalcameoutofnowhere…”
Themeetingdraggedon.Elin’svoiceblurredintoarunningstreamofnoise,andSteffansatstraight-backedinhischairwithaglassylookinhiseyes.IfeltlikeIwasattendingabusinessmergernegotiation,whichIwas,inaway.
Justthefairytalegirlsdreamof.
“…yourhoneymoon,”Elinsaid.“Thoughts?”
HerexpectantgazeyankedmeoutoftheplaceI’dmentallyescapedtowhileshedronedonaboutmediainterviewsandoutfitoptionsfortheproposal.
Iblinked.“Excuseme?”
“Weneedtodecideonahoneymoonlocation,”sherepeated.“Parisisclassic,ifcliche.TheMaldivesarepopularbutgettingtootrendy.Wecouldchoosesomewheremoreunique,maybeinCentralorSouthAmerica.Brazil,Belize,CostaRica…”
“No!”
Everyonejumpedatmyuncharacteristicshout.Booth’seyesgrewround,andElin’sbrowcreasedwithdisapproval.OnlySteffan’sexpressionremainedneutral.
“No,notCostaRica,”Irepeatedmorecalmly,myheartpounding.“Anywherebutthere.”
IwouldratherhoneymooninAntarcticawearingnothingbutabikini.
CostaRicabelongedtomeandRhys.Nooneelse.
Bucketlistnumberfour.
Haveyoueverbeeninlove?
No.ButIhopetobeoneday.
Lookup,princess.
Anow-familiarburnpulsedbehindmyeyes,andIforcedmyselftobreathethroughituntilitpassed.
“It’stoosoontotalkaboutthehoneymoonanyway.”Myvoicesoundedfaraway,likethatofonespeakinginadream.“We’renotofficiallyengagedyet.”
“Wewanttoironoutthedetailsassoonaspossible.Planningaroyalmarriageandcoronationinthesameyearisnosmallfeat,”Elinsaid.“Thepresswillwanttoknow.”
“Let’sgetthroughtheproposalfirst.”Mytonebrookednoopposition.“Thepresscanwait.”
Shesighed,hermouthsopinchedIworrieditwouldfreezethatway.“Yes,YourHighness.”
Afteranhour,themeetingfinallyended,andElinrushedofftoanothermeetingwithmygrandfather.Edvardhadbeendoingwellafterhishospitalization,butwehadn’tdiscussedRhysorwhathappenedinhisofficebeforehisheartattackyet.
Ihadnoissueswiththat.Iwasn’treadyforthosediscussions.
Meanwhile,Steffanremainedinhischair.Hisfingerstappedoutarhythmonhisthighs,andtheglassylookinhiseyesgavewaytosomethingmoresomber.“MayIspeakwithyou,YourHighness?Alone?”HeglancedatBooth,wholookedatme.
Inodded,andBoothslippedoutoftheroom.
Oncethedoorshut,Isaid,“YoucancallmeBridget.ItwouldbeoddifwewereengagedandyoustillcalledmeYourHighness.”
“Apologies.Forceofhabit,Your—Bridget.”Discomfortcrossedhisfacebeforehesaid,“Ihopethisdoesn’tmakethingstooawkward,butIwantedtospeakwithyouregarding,er,Mr.Larsen.”
Everymuscletightened.IftherewasonepersonIwantedtodiscussRhyswithlessthanmygrandfather,itwasmyfuturefiancé.
“Iwon’taskyouwhetherthe,uh,newsistrue,”Steffanaddedhastily.Heknewitwas.Rhys’sglowerthroughoutourfirstdate,thecrackedflowerpotattheRoyalBotanicGardens,thedayheranintousatthehotel…Icouldseethepiecesclickingtogetherinhishead.“It’snotmybusinesswhatyoudidbeforeour…engagement,andIknowI’mnotyourfirstchoiceforahusband.”
Guiltwarmedmycheeks.Ifwemarried,Iwouldn’tbetheonlyonetrappedinalovelessunion.“Steffan—”
“No,it’sfine.”Heshookhishead.“Thisisthelifewewereborninto.Myparentsmarriedforpoliticalconvenience,andsodidyours.”
True.Butmyparentshadlovedeachother.They’dbeenlucky,untiltheyhadn’t.
“Youdon’tloveme,andIdon’texpectyouto.We…well,we’veonlyspokenafewtimes,haven’twe?ButIenjoyyourcompany,andI’lltrymybesttobeagoodconsort.Perhapsthisisn’tthefairytaleloveyoumayhavedreamedof,butwecouldhaveagoodlifetogether.Ourfamilies,atleast,willbehappy.”Otherthanthetwingeofbitternesscoloringhislastsentence,Steffansoundedlikehewasrecitingfromateleprompter.
Istudiedhimwhilehestaredatthedesk,hisfacetautandhishandsgrippinghiskneeswithwhite-knuckledhands.
Imorethanrecognizedthatexpressionandstance.Thesedays,Ilivedthem.
“IsitMalin?”
Steffan’sheadjerkedup,hisexpressionresemblingthatofadeerinheadlights.“Pardon?”
“Thewomanyou’reinlovewith,”Isaid.“IsitMalin?”
Steffan’sthroatflexedwithahardswallow.“Itdoesn’tmatter.”
Threewords.Oneconfirmationofsomethingwebothalreadyknew.
Neitherofuswantedthis.Ourheartsbelongedtootherpeople,andifwemarried,itwouldbecomfortable.Pleasant.Secondbest.
Butitwouldn’tbelove.Itwouldneverbelove.
“Ithinkitmattersquitealot,”Isaidgently.
Steffanreleasedalongbreath.“WhenImetyouatyourbirthdayball,Ihadeveryintentionofpursuingyou,”hesaid.“Youarelovely,buttheninPreoria…shewasmymother’saidewhileshewasrecovering.Itwasonlyusinthehousebesidesmymother,andslowly,withoutmeevenrealizingit…”
“Youfellinlove,”Ifinished.
Hecrackedasmallsmile.“Neitherofusexpectedit.Wecouldn’tstandeachotheratfirst.Butyes,Ifellinlove.”Thesmilefaded.“MyfatherfoundoutandthreatenednotonlytocutmeoffifIdidn’tendtherelationship,buttoensureMalinneverworkedagaininEldorra.Hedoesn’tbluff.Notwhenarelationshipwiththeroyalfamilyisatstake.”Steffanrubbedahandoverhisface.“Apologies,YourH—Bridget.Irealizethisisextremelyinappropriateformetoshare,consideringourarrangement.”
“It’sallright.Iunderstand.”Morethanmostpeoplewould.
“Ihadafeelingyoumight.”
Ibroughtupsomethingthathadbeennaggingmesinceourhotelencounter.“Ifyouweretogether,whydidshepushyoutoaskmeout?”
Sadnessflickeredinhiseyes.“Thehotelwasourlasttimetogether,”hesaid.“MyfatherhadreturnedtoPreoriaanddismissedherasmymother’saide,sowehadtogosomewherewherewewouldn’t…wherewecouldbealone.Sheknewaboutyouandwhatmyfatherexpectedofme.Itwasherwayoflettingusgo.”
ItriedtoimaginemyselfpushinganotherwomanintoRhys’sarmsandrecoiledatthethought.
IbarelyknewMalin,butIhurtforher.
“I’msorry.”
“Metoo.”
SilencelapsedforabeatbeforeSteffanclearedhisthroatandstraightened.“ButIdoenjoyyourcompany,Bridget.Weshallmakeasuitablematch.”
Asadsmilecurvedmylips.“Yes,weshall.Thankyou,Steffan.”
Istayedinmyofficeafterheleft,staringatthelettersonmydesk,theroyalseal,andthecalendarmountedonmywall.
Threeweeksuntilmyproposal.
Sixmonthsuntilmywedding.
Ninemonthsuntilmycoronation.
Icouldpictureitallalready.Thedress,thechurch,theCoronationOath,theheavyweightofthecrownonmyhead.
Isqueezedmyeyesshut.Thewallspressedinfromallsides,andtheroarofbloodpoundedinmyears,blockingouteveryothersound.
I’dgrownaccustomedtotheideaofbeingqueen.Partofmewasactuallyexcitedtotaketheroleandbringitintothetwenty-firstcentury.Themonarchyhadsomanyoutdatedcustomsthatnolongermadesense.
ButIhadn’texpectedittohappensosoon,norhadIexpectedittohappenwithoutRhysbymyside,evenifitwasonlyasmybodyguard.
Sternandsteady,grumpyandprotective.Myrockandanchorinthestorm.
Breathe,princess.Youarethefuturequeen.Don’tletthemintimidateyou
IwonderedifRhyshadleftEldorrayet,andifhe’drememberusten,twenty,thirtyyearsfromnow.
Iwonderedif,whenhesawmeonTVorinamagazine,hewouldthinkaboutCostaRicaandstormsinagazeboandlazyafternoonsinahotelroom,orifhe’dflippastwithnothingmorethanasparkofnostalgia.
IwonderedifIwouldhaunthimasmuchashehauntedme.
“Iwishyouwerehere,”Iwhispered.
Mywishbouncedoffthewallsanddriftedthroughtheroom,lingering,beforeitfinallyfadedintonothing.
***
Hourslater,Iwasstillinmyofficewhenmygrandfathershowedup.
“Bridget,I’dliketospeakwithyou.”
Ilookedupfrommypileofcitizenletters,myeyesbleary.I’dbeenworkingsincemymeetingwithElinandSteffan,andI’ddismissedBoothlongago.
Workwastheonlythingkeepingmegoing,butIhadn’trealizedhowlateit’dgotten.Thelateafternoonsunslantedthroughthewindowsandcastlongshadowsonthefloor,andmystomachrumbledwithanger.Ihadn’teatensincemyyogurtandapple—Icheckedtheclock—sevenhoursago.
Edvardstoodinthedoorway,hisfacetiredbuthiscolormarkedlybetterthanithadbeenafewdaysago.
“Grandfather!”Ijumpedoutofmyseat.“Youshouldn’tbeupsolate.”
“It’snotevendinnertimeyet,”hegrumbled,walkinginandsittingacrossfromme.
“Thedoctorssaidyouneedrest.”
“Yes,andI’vehadenoughthepasttwoweekstolastmealifetime.”Hischinjuttedoutatastubbornangle,andIsighed.Therewasnoarguingwithhimwhenhewaslikethis.
IftherewasonethingEdvardhated,itwasidlehands.He’dcutbackonworkasthedoctorshadinstructed,butsincehisdutiesaskinghadpreventedhimfrompickingupanyhobbiesovertheyears,hewasgoingoutofhismindwithboredom—afactheneverfailedtomentionwheneverhesawmeorNikolai.
“CitizenLettersprogram?”Heexaminedthedocumentsonmydesk.
“Yes,I’mfinishingupthisweek’sbatch.”Ididn’tmentionthebacklogofemailsintheofficialinbox.Evenwithtwoassistantshelpingme,wewereswamped.ItturnedoutthecitizensofEldorrahadalottosay.
Iwasoverthemoonabouttheprogram’ssuccess,butweneededtohiremorestaffsoon.Professionalizeitinsteadoftreatingitasasideproject.
“ThereareafewitemsI’dliketobringupatthenextSpeaker’smeeting,”Isaid.“IimagineErhallwillbethrilled.”
“Erhallhasn’tbeenthrilledsincehewasfirstelectedSpeakertenyearsago.”Edvardsteepledhisfingersbeneathhischinandstudiedme.“You’redoingwell.Holdingyourground,evenwhenhetriestoundermineyou.You’vereallycomeintoyourownthesepastfewmonths.”
Iswallowedhard.“Thankyou.ButI’mnoyou.”
“Ofcoursenot,butyoushouldn’ttrytobe.Noneofusshouldstrivetobeanyoneexceptourselves,andyouarenolessthanmeoranyoneelse.”Edvard’sexpressiongentled.“Iknowit’soverwhelming,theprospectofbecomingqueen.Didyouknow,Iwasawreckformonthsbeforemycoronation?”
“Really?”Icouldn’timaginemyproud,regalgrandfatherbeingnervousaboutanything.
“Yes.”Hechuckled.“Thenightbeforetheceremony,IthrewupintheDowagerQueen’sfavoritepottedplant.Youshould’veheardherscreamwhenshediscoveredthe,ah,giftIleft.”
Asmalllaughbubbledinmythroatatthementalimagehiswordscreated.Mygreat-grandmotherhaddiedbeforeIwasborn,butI’dheardshe’dbeenaforcetobereckonedwith.
“Thepointis,it’snormaltofeelthatway,butIhavefaithinyou.”Edvardtappedtheroyalsealonmydesk.“Yourcoronationiscomingsoonerthananyofusexpected,butyouwillbeagoodqueen.Idon’tdoubtthatforasecond.”
“Ihaven’tevenfinishedmytraining,”Isaid.“Niktrainedallhislifetotakeover,andI’veonlybeenatitforafewmonths.WhatifImessthingsup?”
Coldincheddownmyspine,andIpressedmyhandagainstmykneeagaintokeepitfrombouncing.
“Nooneexpectsyoutobeperfect,evenifitmayseemthatway,”Edvardsaid.“Iadmit,there’slessleewayforakingorqueentomakemistakes,butyoucanmakethem,aslongasyoulearnfromthem.Beingaleaderisnotabouttechnicalknowledge.Itisaboutyou,asaperson.Yourcompassion,yourstrength,yourempathy.Youhaveallthatinspades.Besides…”Hiseyescrinkledintoasmile.“There’snobetterwaytolearnthanonthejob.”
“Withmillionsofpeoplewatching.”
“It’sajobforthosewhothriveunderpressure,”heacknowledged.
Mylaughsoundedrustyafteraweekofnon-use.
“DoyoureallythinkIcandoit?”Uncertaintygnawedatme,andItriednottothinkofwhatmymotherwould’vedoneinmyplace.Howmuchmoregracefullyshewould’vehandledallthis.
“Iknowit.You’realreadytakingchargeintheSpeaker’smeetings,goinghead-to-headwithErhall,andthepeopleloveyou.”EdvardradiatedsuchconfidenceitremindedmeofRhys,whohadneveroncedoubtedmyabilitytodoanything.
Youdon’tneedacrowntobequeen,princess.
God,Imissedhim.MorethanIthoughtIcouldevermisssomeone.
“I’malwayshereifyouwanttotalkaboutanythingpertainingtotheCrown,butthat’snotwhyIcametoday.”Edvardexaminedme,hiseyesincisivedespitehisrecenthospitalization.“Iwanttotalkaboutyou,Bridget.Nottheprincess.”
Warinesscreptintomyveins.“Whataboutme?”
“Youaredeeplyunhappy,mydear.YouhavebeensinceIleftthehospital.”Awrysmilequirkedhislips.“Formyownsake,I’llassumeit’snotbecauseyou’redevastatedImadeitoutalive.Butitjustsohappensthetimeframecoincideswithacertainupcomingproposalandthedepartureofacertainbodyguard.”
ThedeskblurredbeforeIblinkedandmyvisioncleared.“I’mfine.Youwereright.Itwastimetoendthings,andSteffanwouldmakeafineconsort.”
“Don’tlietome.”Edvard’svoicedeepenedwithregalauthority,andIflinched.“Youaremygranddaughter.Iknowwhenyouarelying,andIknowwhenyou’remiserable.Rightnow,you’reboth.”
Iwiselychosenottoreply.
“Iwas—andstillam—quiteupsetaboutyourrelationshipwithMr.Larsen.Itwasreckless,andthepressisstillhavingafielddayoverit.But…”Heheavedasigh,filledwithsadnessandsympathy.“Youare,firstandforemost,mygranddaughter.Iwantyoutobehappyaboveallelse.Ithoughtwhatyouhadwasacasualaffairbutjudgingbythewayyou’vebeenwalkingaroundlikeaheartbrokenzombie,Iassumethatwasn’tthecase.”
IpinchedmyselfbeneaththedesktomakesureIwasn’tdreaming.Thesharpstingconfirmedthephrase“heartbrokenzombie”reallyhadleftmygrandfather’smouth.
Butasoutofcharacterasthephrasewas,hewasn’twrong.
“Itdoesn’tmatter,”Isaid,echoingSteffan’ssentimentearlierthatday.“It’stoolate.IwastryingtorepealtheRoyalMarriagesLawbeforeitbecameanissue,butthere’snotenoughtime.”
“Ninemonths,ifIremembercorrectly.”
“Threeweekstilltheproposal,”Ipointedout.
“Hmm.”Thesoundcameoutloadedwithmeaning.
Hecouldn’tbesayingwhatIthoughthewassaying.“Grandpa,youwantedmetobreakupwithRhys.You’vebeenpushingmetomarrySteffanallthistimeand…”Amessyballofemotiontangledinmythroat.“YouhadaheartattackwhenIrefused.”
Horrordrenchedhisexpression.“Isthatwhatyouthink?”Edvardstraightened,hiseyessuddenlyfierce.“Bridget,itwasn’tbecauseofyouoranyonething.Itwasbecauseofanaccumulationofstress.Ifanything,itwasmyfaultfornotlisteningtoyouandNikolai.”Hegrimaced.“Ishould’vecutbackonmyworkload,andIdidn’t.Myheartattackwasunfortunatetiming,butitwasnotyourfault.Doyouunderstand?”
Inodded,theballofemotionexpandinguntilitfilledmynoseandears.Mychestfelttootight,myskintoohot,thentoocold.
“Idon’tblameyouforwhathappened.Notonebit,”hesaid.“Andbyroyaldecree,Iorderyoutostopblamingyourself.”
Icrackedasmallsmileatthesametimeahottearscaldedmycheek.
“Oh,sweetheart.”Edvardletoutanother,heaviersigh.“Comehere.”
Heopenedhisarms,andIwalkedaroundthedeskandhuggedhim,breathinginhisfamiliar,comfortingscentofleatherandCreedcologne.SomeofthetightnessI’dcarriedaroundsincehisheartattackeased.
Ihadn’trealizedhowmuchI’dneededhisimplicitforgivenessuntilnow.
“Youaremygranddaughter,andIwantyoutobehappy.”Edvardsqueezedmetight.“Wecan’tbreakthelaw,butyou’reasmartgirl,andyouhaveninemonths.Dowhatyouhavetodo.DoyouunderstandwhatI’msaying?”
“Ithinkso,”Iwhispered.
“Good.”Hepulledbackandkissedmeontheforehead.“Thinklikeaqueen.Andremember,thebestrulersarethosewhocanwieldboththecarrotandthestickinequalmeasure.”
Thebestrulersarethosewhocanwieldboththecarrotandthestickinequalmeasure.
Edvard’swordslingeredlongafterhe’dleftandthelateafternoonsunmorphedintothecoolbluesoftwilight.
Ipickedupmyphone,mymindracingwiththeimplicationsofwhatIwantedtodo.
Ihadonecardleftupmysleeve,butIhadn’tentertainedthenotionuntilnowbecauseitwasmanipulative,underhanded,andwentcompletelyagainstmymorals.
Itwasn’tacarrotorastick.Itwastheequivalentofanuclearbomb.
ButwhileIhadninemonthsintheory,IrespectedSteffantoomuchtohumiliatehimbybreakingupwithhimafterhisproposalshouldIsucceedinrepealingtheRoyalMarriagesLaw.Ialsocouldn’tnotgothroughwiththeproposalwithoutagoodreason.Itwouldsendthepalaceintoatailspin.
So,IhadthreeweekstogetErhall,whodespisedme,tobringforwardamotionhe’dgoneonrecordasbeingagainstandconvincethree-fourthsofParliamenttooverturnoneofthenation’soldestlaws.
Thenuclearbombwasmyonlyfeasibleoption.
IscrolledthroughmycontactslistuntilIreachedthenameIwaslookingfor.Ihesitated,mythumbhoveringoverthescreen.
DidIreallywanttodothis?WouldIbeabletolivewithmyself?
Thisisthelifewewereborninto.
Wehaveninemonths.Wewillfigure.It.Out.
Baby,we’rewaybeyondlike.
Idialedthenumber.Heansweredonthefirstring.
“I’mcallinginmyfavor.”Iskippedthegreetingandgotstraighttothepoint.Ifanyoneappreciatedefficiency,itwashim.
“Iwasexpectingyourcall.”IcouldpracticallyseeAlexVolkov’ssmileoverthephone,icyandhumorless.“WhatcanIdoforyou,YourHighness?”44Bridget
I’dlostmymind,askingAlexforhelp.HemightbedatingAva,andhemightbeless…sociopathicsincethey’dgottenbacktogetherlastyear,butIstilltrustedthemanasfarasIcouldthrowhim.
Yetforallhisfaults,hetrulylovedAva,andheowedmeforkickinghisassintogearbeforeIleftforNewYork.IfIhadn’t,he’dstillbemopingoverherandterrorizingeveryonearoundhim.
Ourcallfourdaysagohadbeenshortandsuccinct.ItoldhimwhatIwanted,andheconfirmedhecouldgetit.Ididn’tdoubthisabilitytopullthrough,becausethiswasAlexweweretalkingabout,buthehadn’tgivenmeadeliverydateandI’dbeenonpinsandneedlessince.
“YourHighness.”Boothspokeatalowervolumethanusual,andhisbodyvibratedwithnervousenergyaswewalkedtomyroom.We’djustreturnedfromaneventattheNationalOperaHouse,andI’dbeensodistractedbythoughtsofmyplanIhadn’tquestionedwhyBoothwasaccompanyingmetomysuitewhenheusuallybidmegoodbyeatthepalaceentrance.
“Yes?”IarchedaneyebrowatBooth’sfurtiveglancesaroundtheemptyhall.Hewasagoodbodyguard,buthewouldmakeaterriblespy.
“Readitwhenyou’realone.”Heslippedapieceofpaperintomyhands,hiswordsalmostinaudible.
Ifrowned.“What—”
Amaidturnedthecorner,andBoothsteppedbacksofasthenearlycrashedintotheporcelainvaseonanearbysidetable.
“Well,”hesaid,hisvoicenowsoloudIflinched.“Ifthat’sall,YourHighness,I’llbegoing.”Hedroppedtoawhisperagain.“Don’ttellanyoneelseaboutit.”
Hewavedandspeed-walkeddownthehalluntilhedisappearedaroundthesamecornerthemaidhadrounded.
Myfrowndeepened.
Whatintheworld?Itwasn’tlikeBoothtobesocryptic,butIdidasheaskedandwaiteduntilIshutthedoorbehindmebeforeIunfoldedthepaper.Boothwasn’tasecretnotestypeofperson.Whathad—
Timestopped.Mybloodrushedtomyface,andmystomachswoopedatthefamiliar,messyscrawlbeforeme.
9p.m.tonight,princess.Twochairs
Noname,butIdidn’tneedone.
RhyswasstillinEldorra.
Awhooshofreliefdartedthroughme,followedbyanxietyandatwingeofpanic.Wehadn’ttalkedsincethehospital,andwehadn’texactlyendedthingsonagoodnote.Whywashereachingoutnow,two-and-a-halfweekslater?HowhadheconvincedBoothtosneakmeanote?What—
“Bridget!”
Forasecond,Ithoughtthecallofmynamecamefromoutsidemyroom,butthenIlookedupandsawthepetitebrunettestandinginmysuite.
Another,whollydifferentkindofdisbelieffloodedme.
“Ava?Whatareyoudoinghere?”IhastilyshovedRhys’snoteintomypocket,whereitsearedthroughthesilkandintomyskin.
Herfacebrokeintoawidesmile.“Surprise!I’mheretoseeyou,ofcourse.AndI’mnotalone.”
Oncue,Julesswannedintothesittingroomdressedinafamiliar-lookinggreencoat.“Goodafternoon,YourHighness,”shesang.
Icockedmyhead.“Isthatmycoat?”
“Yes,”shesaidwithzeroshame.“Iloveit.Itmakesmyhairpop.”Theemeraldcolordid,indeed,makeherredhairpop.“Yourclosetiseverything.Ineedanin-depthtourlater.”
“Youalreadyhadanin-depthtour,courtesyofyourself.”Stellacameupbehindher,cladinasleekwhitedressthatmadeheroliveskinglow.Asthefashionbloggerinourgroup,herclosetrivaledmine,thoughherclothingchoicesweremorecasual.“Youspenthalfanhourexamininghershoecollection.”
“It’scalledresearch,”Julessaid.“I’mgoingtobealawyer.Powerheelsareessentialforstompingallovertheopposition.”
IletoutasoftlaughasIhuggedmyfriends,myshockgraduallymorphingintoexcitement.Ihadn’tseentheminpersonsinceImovedbacktoEldorra,andIhadn’trealizedhowmuchI’dmissedourface-to-facechatsuntilnow.
However,Iheldoffongreetingthelastpersoninthegroupwithahug.
“Alex.”InoddedatAva’sboyfriend,whichseemedtootameawordtodescribehim.Boyfriendsweresweetandkind.Alex,withhiscoldeyesandcolderdemeanor,wasanythingbut,thoughhisexpressiondidwarmadegreewhenhelookedatAva.
“Bridget.”
Neitherofusgaveanysignwe’dinteractedbeyondthesetypesofgroupsettings.IfeltbadhidingmycallfromAva,butthelesssheknewaboutwhatwewereupto,thebetter.Plausibledeniabilitymattered.
“Wesawwhathappenedonthenews,withyourgrandfatherandRhys.”Ava’sbrowknitwithconcern.“Wewould’vecomesooner,butJuleshadtowrapupherinternshipandIcouldn’ttaketimeoffuntilnow.Howareyouholdingup?”
“I’mallright.Mygrandfather’salotbetter.”Ipurposelydidn’tmentionRhys.
“Iknewsomethingwasgoingonwithyouandyourhottiebodyguard.I’mneverwrong,”Julesjokedbeforeshe,too,turnedserious.“Doyouneedanythingfromus,babe?Maybesomepaparazziassyouneedkicked?Adecoywhileyousneakofftoamidnightrendezvouswithyourlover?Icandyemyhairblonde.”
“J,you’relikethreeinchesshorterthanher,”Stellasaid.
Julesliftedoneshoulder.“Minorissue.Nothingheelswon’tsolve.”
Ilaughedagain,evenasRhys’snoteburnedaholeinmypocket.9p.m.Twochairs.“Howdidyouguysgetinhere?”
“WeworkedwithNikolaionthesurprise,”Julessaid.“Toobadhe’staken.Yourbrother’shot.”
“We’reherefortheweekend,”Stellaadded,brushingastraycurloutofherface.Withhergreeneyes,tannedskin,andleggygrace,shewasthemostgorgeouspersonI’devermet,andwhileshewasfullyawareoftheeffectherlookshadonothers—especiallymen—sheneverflauntedit.“Iwishwecouldstaylonger,butwecan’ttakethatmuchtimeofffromwork.”
“It’sokay.I’mjustgladyou’rehere.”Theknotoflonelinessinmystomachloosenedaninch.AsmuchasIwantedtorereadRhys’snoteoverandoveragainuntilImemorizedeveryswoopandcurveoftheletters,Ialsowantedtohangoutwithmyfriends.Ithadbeenfartoolong.“Tellme.WhatdidImiss?”
SinceIdidn’thaveanymeetingsfortherestoftheday,IspenttheafternooncatchingupwithmyfriendswhileAlextookaseriesofbusinesscalls.Itoldthemaboutmytraining,goodwilltour,andbirthdayball.Theytoldmeabouttheirjobs,theirdatingfails,andtheirroadtriptoShenandoahNationalPark.
Eventually,wepassedthelighttopicsandreachedtheelephantintheroom
“YouandRhys.”Avasqueezedmyhand.“Whathappened?”
Ihesitated,debatinghowmuchtotellthembeforeIsettledonabrief,sanitizedversionofthestory,startingwithwhenIlearnedaboutNikolai’sabdicationandendingwithourbreakupinthehospital.Irecountedeverythingwithoutbreakingdown,whichIconsideredamajorwin.
OnceIfinished,myfriendsgapedatme,theirexpressionsrangingfromshocktosadnesstosympathy.
“Holyshit,”Julessaid.“YourlifeisaHallmarkmovie.”
“Notexactly.”Hallmarkmovieshadhappyendings,andminewasstillupintheair.
“Isthereanythingwecando?”SympathycreasedStella’sface.Foronce,shewasn’tonherphone,whichwasamajorfeat,sinceshepracticallylivedontheinternet.
Ishookmyhead.“I’llfigureitout.”
IfAlexcomesthrough.Iglancedatwherehestoodbythewindow,speakingrapid-fireRussianintohisphone.
“It’llworkout,babe.”Julesradiatedconfidence.“Italwaysdoes.Ifitdoesn’t,declaremartiallawandtellthemyou’rekeepingyourcrownandhotbodyguard.Whataretheygoingtodo,guillotineyou?”
Mylipsinchedupintoasmile.IcouldalwayscountonJulestocomeupwiththemostoutrageousideas.“Itdoesn’tworklikethat,andtheymight.”
“Fuck‘em.I’dliketoseethemtry.Iftheydo,Alexwilltakecareofit.Right,Alex?”Jules’svoicetookonateasing,singsongquality.
Alexignoredher.
“Stopprovokinghim,”Avasaid.“Ican’talwayssaveyou.”
“I’mnotprovokinghim.It’sacompliment.Yourmancangetanythingdone.”WhenAvaturnedaway,Julesleanedinandwhispered,“He’stotallywhipped.Watch.”Sheraisedhervoicetoapanickedlevel.“OhmyGod!Ava,areyoubleeding?”
Alex’sheadsnappedup.Lessthanfivesecondslater,heendedhiscallandcrossedtheroomtoaconfused-lookingAva,whosehandfrozehalfwaytothesconesonthetable.
“I’mfine,”AvasaidasAlexsearchedherforinjuries.SheglaredatJules.“WhatdidIjustsay?”
“Ican’thelpit.”Jules’seyessparkledwithmischief.“It’ssomuchfun.It’slikeplayingwithawinduptoy.”
“Untilthetoycomesaliveandkillsyou,”Stellamurmuredloudenoughforeveryonetohear.
AlexstaredatJuleswithdispleasurescrawledalloverhisface.Hisfeaturesweresoperfectitwasalittleunnerving,likeseeingacarefullysculptedstatuecometolife.Somepeoplewereintothat,butIpreferredmenwithalittlemoregrit.Givemescarsandanosethatwasslightlycrookedfrombeingbrokentoomanytimesoverperfection
“PrayyouandAvastayfriendsforever,”Alexsaid,icyenoughtoelicitarashofgoosebumpsonmyarms.
Julesdidn’tappearfazedbytheimpliedthreat.“Firstofall,AvaandIwillbefriendsforever.Secondofall,bringiton,Volkov.”
Avasighed.“DoyouseewhatyouleftmeinD.C.with?”shemutteredtome.
Imadeasympatheticnoise.
Myfriendsstayedforanotherhourbeforetheyleftfordinner.Ideclinedtheirinvitationtojoin,sayingIhadsomeofficialbusinesstotakecareofbeforetomorrow,butIpromisedtogivethemapalacetourinthemorning.
Isnuckapeekattheclock.
Threemorehoursuntilninep.m.
Nervescascadedthroughmystomach.WhatwouldIsayonceIsawRhys?Whatwouldhesay?Ididn’twanttotellhimaboutmyplanuntilIwassureIhadthepiecesinplace,andhemightnotapprove,anyway.Mymethodsweren’taboveboardbyanymeans.
“I’llberightout.”AlexkissedAvaontheforehead.“I’mgoingtousetherestroomfirst.”
Aftereveryonefiledout,IturnedtoAlexandcrossedmyarmsovermychest.“Ittookyoulongenough.Andyoucould’vegivenmeaheadsupyouwerecoming.”
“IrunaFortune500company.Idohaveotherbusinesstoattendtobesidesyourpersonallife.”Hestraightenedhisshirtsleeve.“Youmightalsowanttolookupthedefinitionof‘surprise.’Avainsisted.”
Isighed,notwantingtogetintoadrawn-outargumentwithhim.“Fine.DoyouhavewhatIneed?”
AlexreachedintohispocketandretrievedaUSBdrive.“InformationonallonehundredeightymembersofEldorra’sParliament,asrequested.”Information,AKAblackmailmaterial.“OnceIhandthisovertoyou,mydebtispaid.”
“Iunderstand.”
Hestudiedmeforalongmomentbeforehedroppedthedriveintomyoutstretchedhand.
Myfingersclosedaroundthetinygadgetwhilemyheartskitteredlikeafrightenedrabbit.Ican’tbelieveI’mdoingthis.Iwasn’tablackmailer.ButIneededleverage,fast,andthiswastheonlywayIcouldthinktogetit.
IhopedIwouldn’thavetoresorttousingtheinformation.However,withtheclocktickingdownandmyprivateappealstoministerspolitelybutfirmlyrebuffed,Imightneedto.
“Ihavetosay,I’mimpressed,”Alexdrawled.“Ididn’tthinkyouhaditinyou.Maybeyou’llmakeagoodqueenafterall.”
Ofcoursehethoughtgoodleadershiprestedonmanipulationanddeceit.HisfavoritephilosopherwasprobablyMachiavelli.
“Alex,”Isaid.“Don’ttakethisthewrongway,butyouareacompletedick.”
“Oneofthenicerthingspeoplehavesaidaboutme.”Hecheckedhiswatch.“Iwouldsaythankyou,butIdon’tcare.Itrustyoucantakeitfromhere?”HenoddedattheUSBdrive.
“Yes.”Somethingoccurredtome.Ishouldn’taskbecauseIhadafeelingIwouldn’tliketheanswer,but…“Youhaveablackmailfileonmetoo,don’tyou?”
ThoughIhadn’tdonemuchinmylifethatwasblackmail-worthyexceptformyrelationshipwithRhyswhenit’dbeenasecret…andwhatIwasdoingnow.
Theirony.
Alex’slipscurvedacentimeter.“Informationispower.”
“Ifanythingleaks,Avawillneverforgiveyou.”
Itwastheonlythreatthatworkedagainsthim.
Ididn’tthinkhewouldrevealanything,butoneneverknewwithAlexVolkov.
Hisexpressionchilled.“Thatconcludesourbusiness,YourHighness.”Hepausedatthedoor.“IsuggestlookingatArthurErhall’sfamilyfilefirst.There’ssomeinformationthereyou’llfindveryinteresting.”
Hedisappearedintothehall,leavingmewithnothingbutaflashdriveandasickfeelinginmystomach.
DrawingAlexintothesituationhadbeenahorribleidea,butitwastoolateforregrets.
IretrievedmyburnerlaptopandpluggedtheUSBin.Ididn’ttrusthimenoughtopluganythinghegavemeintomypersonalcomputer.
IpulledupErhall’sfile.Finances.Pastrelationships.Family.Politicaldealsandscandalsthathadbeencoveredup.Iwastemptedtodiveintothelastone,butIclickedonthefamilyfilefirst,asAlexhadsuggested.
Atfirst,itlookednormal,justarundownofErhall’slineageandinformationabouthisex-wife,who’ddiedinaplanecrashyearsago.Thenmyeyessnaggedonthewordchildrenandthetwonameslistedbeneathit.
Myhandflewtomymouth.
OhmyGod.45Rhys
Shewasn’tcoming.
Istoodontherooftopofthepalace’snorthernmosttower,myjawtightasIwatchedtheminutestickbyonmywatch.
Sixminutespastnine.Seven.Eight.
Bridgetwasalwayspunctualunlessshehadameetingthatranover,andshedidn’thaveanymeetingsthatlateatnight.
Tick.Tick.Tick.
Uncertaintycoiledinmystomach.It’dbeenagamble,reachingouttoBoothandsneakingintothepalace,butI’dbeendesperatetoseeher.
I’dknowntherewasachanceBridget,stubbornasshewas,wouldn’tshowup.ButIalsoknewher.Nomatterwhatshesaid,she’dwantedtoletmegoasmuchasIwantedtoleaveher,andIwasbankingonthefactthepasttwoweekshadbeenhellforherasmuchasithadbeenforme.
Partofmehopedithadn’t,becausethethoughtofherhurtinginanywaymademewanttowanttoburnthepalacetothefuckingground.Butanother,selfishparthopedI’dhauntedherasshehadme.Thateverybreathwasastruggletodrawenoughoxygenintoherlungs,andeverymentionofmynamecausedasharpneedleofpaintopierceherchest.
Becausehurtmeantshestillcared.
“Comeon,princess.”Istaredattheredmetaldoorandwilledhertowalkthroughit.“Don’tletmedown.”
Twelveminutespastnine.Thirteen.
Therhythminmyjawpulsedintimewithmyheartbeats.
Fuckit.Iftonightdidn’twork,I’dtryagainuntilIsucceeded.I’dfoughtandwonimpossiblebattlesallmylife,andtheoneforBridgetwasthemostimportantoneofall.
Ifshecouldn’torwouldn’tfightforus—becauseofherguilt,herduty,herfamily,oranyotherreason—I’dfightenoughforusboth.
Fourteenminutespastnine.Fifteen.
Dammitprincess,whereareyou?
EitherBridgethadn’treceivedthenote,orshe’dchosennottocome.
Boothhadtextedsayinghe’dgivenherthenote,andItrustedhim.Iwouldn’thavereachedouttohimotherwise.Ifwhathesaidwastrue,then…
Painlancedthroughme,butIforcedmyselftopushitaside.I’dwaitallnightifIhadto,incaseshechangedhermind,andif—
Thedoorbangedopenand,suddenly,shewasthere.Outofbreath,cheeksflushed,hairflutteringacrossherfacefromthewind.
Mypulseratchetedupseveralnotchesinthespaceofamillisecond.
Istraightened,airfillingmylungsasIfinallycamealiveagain.
Bridgetremainedinthedoorway,onehandonthedoorknob,herlipspartedandherchestheaving.
Themoonlightsplashedacrosstheroof,turninghergoldenhairsilverandilluminatingtheslendercurvesofherbody.Thewindcarriedafainthintofherlushjasminescenttowardme,andhergreendressflutteredaroundherthighs,baringhershouldersandthelong,smoothexpanseofherlegs.
Ilovedthatdress.SheknewIlovedthatdress.Andsomethinginsidemeunclenchedforthefirsttimeinweeks.
“Hi,”shebreathed.Hergriptightenedonthedoorknoblikeshewastryingtosteadyherself.
Mymouthcurved.“Hi,princess.”
Thespacebetweenushummed,sotautwithanticipationandunspokenwordsitwasaliving,breathingthingthatpulledusclosertogether.NomoreofthedistanceI’dfeltinthehospital.Shewasinmyskin,mysoul,theveryairIbreathed.
EverythingI’dgonethroughthepasttwoweekstogetherehadbeenworthit.
“Apologiesforbeinglate.IranintoMarkusandgotropedintoaconversationaboutthecoronation.”Bridgetbrushedherhairoutofherface,andIdetectedasmalltrembleinherhand.“Itturnsoutthearchbishop—”
“Comehere,baby.”
Ididn’tgiveafuckaboutMarkusorthearchbishop.Ineededher.Onlyher.
Shefrozeatmylowcommand,roughenedbyweeksoflonging.Forasecond,Ithoughtshe’dturntailandrun,whichmightbesmart,consideringthepent-upfireragingthroughme.Butthensherantowardme,herhairstreamingbehindherinthewind.
Icaughthereasilywhileourmouthscrashedagainsteachother.Tonguesdueling.Teethscraping.Handsroamingovereveryinchoffleshwecouldaccess.
Twoweeksmightaswellhavebeentwoyears,basedonthewaywedevouredeachother.
Icuppedherassandnippedherbottomlipinpunishmentforforcingustowasteallthetimewecould’vespenttogether.ForthinkinganythingshesaidcouldmakemegiveherupwhenshewastheonlythingI’deverwanted.
EvenifIdidstupidshitlikewalkoutintheheatofthemoment,I’dalwaysfindmywaybacktoher.
“I’msorry,”Bridgetwhispered,hervoicethickwithemotion.“ForwhatIsaidatthehospital.Idon’twanttomarrySteffan,andIdon’t—”
“Iknow.”Iskimmedmypalmoverherback,overheatedfleshflowingintocoolsilk,andanothersmallshiverrippledthroughher.“I’msorryforwalkingout.”
Regrettwistedmyinsides.Ourseparationhadbeenasmuchmyfaultashers.Ishould’vestayed.Foughtharder.
Thenagain,she’dneededthespacetosortthroughherthoughts.Hergrandfather’sheartattackhadbeenfreshinhermind,andthere’dbeennochanginghermindthatday.
“Ithoughtyouweren’tcoming.”Myhandlingeredonthesmallofherback.“RemindmetokillMarkusthenexttimeIseehim.”
Shereleasedasmalllaugh.“Done.”Bridgettippedherchinupuntilhereyesmetmine.“I…”Sheappearedtothinkbetterofwhatshe’dbeenabouttosay.“Howdidyougetinhere?Ifanyonesawyou…”
“Theydidn’t.NavySEAL,remember?”Idrawled.“Icanevadeafewpalaceguards.”
Sherolledhereyes,andmymouthtwitchedatthefamiliarsightofheramusedexasperation.Fuck,I’dmissedher.This.Us
“AndBooth?”
“NearlyscaredtheguytodeathwhenIshowedupathishouse,butIcanbeprettypersuasive.”It’dtakenlessconvincingthanIthought.AccordingtoBooth,Bridgethadbeeninafunksincethehospital,andhe’dhopedseeingmewouldhelp.Hewasn’tstupid—he’dguessedBridgetandIreallydidhavesomethinggoingon.
BoothcouldlosehisjobifsomeonefoundouthewassmugglingnotesfrommetoBridget,buthe’dtakentheriskanyway.
Iowedthatmananice,coldbeerandasteakdinnerinthefuture.
“Ihadn’texpectedyoutoreachoutafterwhathappened,”Bridgetsaid.“Ithoughtyouwereupsetwithme.Ithought…”Herthroatflexedwithahardswallow.“Youmight’veleft.”
“Idid.Hadtoleavethecountrytogetanewvisa,”Iclarifiedwhenhereyebrowsshotup.“Sixmonthsasatourist.”Iflashedacrookedsmile.“GuessIhavetogetan‘ILoveEldorra’T-shirtnow.”
Thetiniestofsmilescrossedherlips.“So,you’restayingforsixmonths?”Shesoundedbothrelievedandsad.
Sixmonthswasalongtimeandnowherelongenough.
“No,princess.I’mstayingforaslongasyou’rehere.”
Bridget’seyesflaredwithdelightbeforehermusclestensedagain.“How…why…”
“Letmefigureoutthehow.Asforthewhy…”Ipressedhertightertome.“I’mnotleavingyou.Ifyou’reinEldorra,I’minEldorra.Ifyou’reinAntarctica,theSahara,orthemiddleofthefuckingocean,I’mthere.I’masmuchyoursasyouaremine,princess,andalawisn’tkeepingmeaway.Idon’tcarewhatapieceofpapersays.I’llburndowntheentirefuckingParliamentifIhaveto.”
Athousandemotionspassedoverherface.“Rhys…”
“I’mserious.”
“Iknowyouare.AndsomethingmustbewrongwithmebecauseI’veneverbeenmoretouchedbytheprospectofarson.”Herquicksmilefaded.“Butthere’ssomethingIneedtotellyou.Severalthings,infact.”
Warinessfilledmeathertone.“Okay.”
“It’sfunnyyoumentionedburningdownParliament.Ihaveanidea…notphysicallyburningitdown,”sheaddedhastilywhenmyeyebrowsrose.“ButawaytorepealthelawbeforeSteffanproposes.”
Thebeastinmychestsnarledathisname.Andreas’splandidn’tsolvetheshort-termproblemofBridgetandSteffan’sengagement—anditwouldbeashort-termproblem—butI’ddealwithitmyself.NowayinhellwouldBridgetwearanotherman’sringonherfinger.
“Idon’tknowifIcangothroughwithit,though.”Atouchofvulnerabilityenteredhereyes.“It’snotexactlyaboveboard.”
“Whatisit?”
PinktingedBridget’scheeksbeforeshestraightenedandsaid,“Blackmailtheministersintoopeningthemotionandvotingforarepeal.”
Waitonefuckingsecond.“Repeatthat.”
Shedid.“LikeIsaid,it’snotthemostaboveboardstrategy,but—”
Astranglednoiseemergedfrommythroat,cuttingheroff.
Herbrowknitintoafrown.“What?”
“HaveyoubeentalkingtoAndreas?”Ifshehadn’t,itwastooironicforwords.
Herfrowndeepened.“No.WhywouldItalktoAndreasaboutthis?Hewantstostealthecrown.”
Notexactly.AndreasandIhadspentafairamountoftimetogetherhashingouttheplan,andwhileIstilltrustedhimonlyasfarasIcouldthrowhim,Iknewhedidn’twantthecrown.Heenjoyedhiscarefreelifestyleasaprincewithoutresponsibilitiestoomuch.
“Becausehehasasimilaridea,thoughhisonlyappliestoErhall,notallofParliament.”Mymouthtippedup.“Youalwayswereanoverachiever.”
“Whyareyoutalkingto…”Bridget’seyeswidened.“Youknow.”
Mysurprisemirroredhers.Howdidshe…thenithitme.HerblackmailonErhall.Itmust’veincludedinformationaboutmeandAndreas.
ButbeforeIsaidanything,Iwantedtomakesurewewereonthesamepage.I’dbeenworkinguptotherevealaboutmyparentage;Ididn’twanttojustdropthebombshellonherincaseIassumedwrong.“IknowaboutAndreas.”Iwatchedhercarefully.“Thathe’s…”
Atensesilencevibratedbetweenus.
“Yourbrother.”
“Mybrother.”
Wespokeatthesametime,andthereitwas.Mysecret,outintheopen.
Afterthirty-fouryearsofnofamilyexceptmymother,who’dbarelycountedasfamily,itwasstrangetothinkIhadabrother.
“So,it’strue.”Bridgetreleasedalongbreath,thevestigesofshocklingeringonherface.“Howdidyoufindout?”
“Christiandidsomediggingandtoldme.IconfrontedAndreas.”Ifilledherinonwhathappenedathistownhouse,aswellasAndreas’splantoblackmailErhallwiththeinformationaboutmebeinghisson.Erhallcouldn’taffordascandalaheadofelections,andalong-lostlovechildfellsquarelyunder“scandal.”
“I’malittleterrifiedIcameupwiththesameideaasmycousin.”IcouldseethegearsspinninginBridget’smindasshedigestedtheinformation.“Howdoyouknowwecantrusthim?”
“Idon’t,butwehaveleverage.Hedoesn’twantanyonetofindoutErhallishisfather,or…”
“…hecouldlosehisroyalstatus,”Bridgetfinished.“Afateworsethandeathinhiseyes.”
“Yeah.”
Thewholesituationwassofucked.Ihatedplayingmindgames,andweweretrappedinthemosttwistedwebofgamesandone-upmanshippossible.Ialsodidn’tlovetheideaofblackmail,butifthat’swhatIhadtodo,I’ddoit.
Bridgetexaminedme,thosebeautifulblueeyessympathetic.“Itmust’vebeenashock,learningaboutErhallandAndreas.Iknowyouhavemixedfeelingsaboutyourfather.”
Thatwasonewaytoputit.AnotherwaywasIdespisedhimevenmorenowthatIknewhisidentity.
“He’snotmyfather.”Erhallwas,atbest,aspermdonor.“ButIdon’twanttotalkabouthimrightnow.Let’sfocusonyourplan.”
IhadalotofshittosortoutwhenitcametoErhall,butIcoulddothatlater.
Bridgetpickeduponmycueandchangedthesubject.
“Okay.So.”Sheliftedherchin.“We’rereallydoingthis.BlackmailingtheSpeakerofParliament.”
Despiteherbravado,anoteofnervousnessranbeneathherwords,andthefierceneedtoprotecther—fromtheworld,fromherowndoubtsandinsecurities—consumedme.
IwishedshecouldseeherselfasIsawher.Fuckingperfect.
Iframedherfacewithmyhands.“Ifwedoit,wedoittogether.Youandmeagainsttheworld,princess.”
Hersmilesentwarmthcrashingagainstmyribcage.“Iwouldn’thaveanyoneelsebymyside,Mr.Larsen.”Shetookadeepbreath.“WemightneedtheinformationtopushErhall,butIwanttotrysomethingbeforeweresorttodoingthesamewithParliament.Allthistime,I’vebeentreatingthetabloidsasmyenemy,butmaybetheycanbeanally.”
Sheexplainedherplan.ItwaseasierthanblackmailingonehundredeightyofEldorra’smostpowerful,butitwasalsoamajorgamble.
“Yousure?”Iaskedaftershefinished.“It’sabigrisk.”
Bridgethadthemosttoloseifitdidn’tpanout.
“Yes.Ican’tbelieveIdidn’tthinkofitearlier.”Shepaused.“Actually,Ican.Iwasscaredofwhatpeoplewouldsayandthatitwouldlessenmylegitimacyasaruler.ButI’mtiredofbeingafraid.Withgreatriskcomesgreatreward,right?”
Asmallsmiletouchedmylips.“Absolutely.”
Bridgetwas,afterall,mygreatestriskandmygreatestreward.
Sheliftedonehandandtangledherfingerswithmine.“Imissedyou.”
Themoodshifted,transitioningfromthebriskpracticalityofourplantosomethingsofterandachinglyvulnerable.
“I’mrighthere.I’mnotleaving.”Isweptmythumboverherbottomlip.“Itakecareofwhat’smine,andyou’vebeenminesincethemomentIsawyououtsideyourpoorlysecuredhouseatThayer.UntilIfixedit,ofcourse.”
Asmiletuggedathermouth.“Youcouldn’tstandmebackthen.”
“Doesn’tmatter.Youwerestillmine.”Icurledmyhandaroundthebackofherneckwhilekeepingmythumbonherlip.“Minetofightwith.Minetoprotect.Minetofuck.”Myvoicedropped.“Minetolove.”
Bridgetsuckedinanaudiblebreath.
“InCostaRica,youaskedifI’deverbeeninlove.Isaidno.”Iloweredmyheaduntilourforeheadstouchedandherlipswerescantinchesfrommine.“Askmeagain.”
ItwasthesamerequestI’dmadeatthehospital,butthistime,Bridgetdidn’tbreakourgazeassheasked,“Haveyoueverbeeninlove,Mr.Larsen?”
“Onlyonce.”Islidmyhandupfromhernecktothebackofherhead,cuppingit.“Andyou,princess.Haveyoueverbeeninlove?”
“Onlyonce,”shewhispered.
Iexhaledsharplyherwordssankintomysoul,fillingcracksIhadn’tknownexisted.
UntilBridget,I’dneverlovedorbeenloved,andIfinallyunderstoodwhatthefusswasabout.ItwasbetterthananybulletproofarmororoblivionIfoundatthebottomofthebottleduringmyshort-livedaffairwithalcohol.
Alcoholwasfornumbing,andIdidn’twanttobenumb.Iwantedtofeeleverygoddamnthingwithher.
IpulledBridgetcloseuntilourbodiespressedflushagainsteachother.“Damnright,”Isaidfiercely.“Onlyonce.Firstandlast.Don’tforgetthat,princess.”
Ifistedherhairandtuggedherheadback,mymouthpressinghotandinsistentagainstherswhileImaneuveredustoachair.
TherewerenightswhenItookmytime,savoringeveryinchofherbodybeforeIgaveuswhatwebothwanted,andtherewerenightslikethis,whenourdesperateneedtojustbetogetheroverrodeeverythingelse.
“Rhys…”ShegaspedasIpushedherskirtuparoundherhipsandrippedherpantiesoff,tooimpatienttoshimmythemdownwhenshewassitting.Itossedthetornsilkonthefloorandpushedherlegswiderwithmyknee.
“Ilovewhenyousaymyname.”Isankintoher,swallowinghersmallcrywithmykissandpushingdeeperuntilIwasburiedtothehilt.
Wehadtomuffleourmoanssotheydidn’tcarryonthewind,andsomehowthatonlyheightenedtheintensityofthemoment,likewewerecontainingallouremotionsinthissmallbubblewhereweweretheonlyoneswhoexisted.
“Harder,please.”Bridgetarchedintome,hernailsdigginggroovesintomyskin,herwarmskincontrastingagainstthechillofthenightaironmyback.
Iheldontothebackofthechairforbetterleverageandgaveherwhatsheaskedfor,agroanrippingfrommythroatwhensheburiedherfaceinmychesttomuffleherscream.“Youfeelsogood,princess.”
Mybloodranwhite-hotasIslammedintoheragainandagain,mymusclesflexingfromtheeffort.Shewasslickandtight,herbreathhotagainstmyskinassheclenchedandshatteredaroundmewithawordlesscry.
Myorgasmfollowedsoonafter,racingthroughmewithsuchintensityittookmetwiceaslongtorecoverthanusual.
Whentheaftershocksfinallysubsided,IpushedmyselfuponmyarmssoIdidn’tcrushBridgetwithmyweight,butshewrappedherlegsaroundmywaist,keepingmeclose.
“Roundtwo?”Ibrushedastrandofhairoutofherface.Shelookedsleepyandlazyandcontent,anditstillboggledmymindshewasreal.
Notonlyrealbuthere,withme.
Sheletoutasoftlaugh.“You’reinsatiable,”shesaid,turningthewordI’dusedforheragainstme.
“Whenitcomestoyou?”Ikissedherjaw.“Always.”
Bridget’seyesturnedliquidbeneaththemoonlight,andherholdonmetightened.“Iloveyou.”
Anotherbreathrushedoutofme.
“Iloveyoutoo,”Isaid,myvoicegruffwithlong-buriedemotion.
Ikissedheragain.
Hermouthagainstmine,herlimbswrappedaroundmybody,ourbreathsandheartbeatsminglinguntiltheywereone…I’dlivedinhellmywholelife,anditwasn’tuntilnowIglimpsedwhatheavenfeltlike.
ButasourkissdeepenedandIsankintoheronceagain,IrealizedIwaswrong.
Bridgetfeltbetterthanheaven.Shefeltlikehome.46Bridget
AftermynightwithRhys,Ikickedmyplanintohighgearandprayeditworked.Ididn’tfeeltoobadaboutpressuringErhall,butitwasn’tsmarttoalienateallofParliament.Ididn’tbelieveinrulingthroughfear.
ThatwashowIfoundmyselfstandinginfrontofthreedozenjournalistsonSunday,threedaysaftermyrendezvouswithRhys.Weweregatheredonthepalace’snorthlawn,andbehindthepressgaggle,spectatorspressedagainstmetalbarricades,eagerforanin-personglimpseofaroyal.
Myfriendshadleftthatmorning.I’dfilledtheminonmyplans,butI’dwaiteduntiltheywereontheplanebacktotheU.S.beforeholdingthepressconference.Ididn’twantthemtohavetodealwiththecrazinessthatwasabouttoensue.Theyhadn’tbeenhappy—they’dwantedtobehereformoralsupport,butthiswassomethingIhadtodoonmyown.
“Goodafternoon.”Myvoiceechoedacrossthegrounds,andthenoisequieted.“Thankyouforcomingonsuchshortnotice.Irealizeit’saSunday,andtherearelikelyotherplacesyou’dratherberightnow,likebrunchoryourbed”—asmallrippleofstartledlaughter.Theyweren’tusedtomembersoftheroyalfamilyspeakingsoinformally—“soIappreciateyourattendance.ButbeforeItakequestions,IwouldliketosayafewwordsaboutwhyIbroughtyouhere.”
Ilookedaroundattheexpectantfacesstaringbackatme.Thump.Thump.Thump.Despitemypoundingheart,Iwasstrangelycalm.ItwaslikeI’dexpendedsomuchenergyworryingaboutitbeforehandIhadnoneleftforthemomentitself
Rhyswasright.Thiswasahugerisk,andElinnearlyhadacoronarywhenshefoundoutaboutthelast-minutepressconference,butIwasdoneplayingitsafe.
IfIwantedsomething,Ihadtofightforit,evenifmeantthepossibilityofcrashingandburninginfrontoftheentireworld.
IfIwasn’tbraveenoughtostandupforwhatIwanted,Ihadnohopeofstandingupforwhatthepeopleneeded.
“IamaproudcitizenofEldorra.Ilovethiscountryandthepeopleinit,andI’mhonoredtoserveasyourprincess.Ialsohopethatwhenthetimecomes,Iwillbeaqueenyoucanbeproudof.”Breathe.Youcandothis.“However,I’mawaretherehavebeenconcernsaboutmydesireandsuitabilitytoservesinceIbecamecrownprincess.Thoseconcernshaven’tbeenentirelyunfounded.”
Awaveofmurmursgreetedmystatement,butIpushedforward.
“IthinkIcanspeakforeveryoneherewhenIsaynoneofuscouldhavepredictedtheeventsthathaveledmetowhereIamtoday—ninemonthsoutfrommycoronationasthequeenofthisgreatcountry.”Itookadeepbreath.“WhenIfirstfoundoutaboutmybrotherPrinceNikolai’splansforabdication,Iwasscared.ScaredoftakingonaroleI’dneverexpectedtohave,scaredIwouldn’tliveuptothetitleandfailmyfamily,mycountry.Butfearisnoreasontostaystill,andthankfully,Ihaveawonderfulteamtoguidemethroughtheintricaciesrequiredofsuchanimportantrole.Earlierthisyear,Ispentthreeweeksearliertravelingaroundthecountry,meetingandgettingtoknowcitizensjustlikeyou.Howtheylived,whatconcernskeptthemupatnight…”
Icontinuedmyspeech,talkingaboutnotonlythetourbuttheCitizenLettersprogramandtheagendaitemsIbroughtbeforeParliamentbeforeIhitthemostimportantpartofmyspeech.“I’vecometorealizebeingqueenisnotjustaboutrepresentingthecountryasitis.It’saboutmovingthenationforwardandkeepingthetraditionsthatmakeEldorrasuchaunique,wonderfulplacewhilesheddingtheonesthatholditback.ThatistrueofthereformsI’vehelpedpushthroughParliament.ItisalsotrueoftraditionsbindingtheCrowntooutdatednormsandexpectations…suchastheRoyalMarriagesLaw.Whichbringsmetomynextpoint.”
Moremurmurs,louderthistime.
Itookanother,deeperbreath.Herewego.
“Asyoumayknow,informationcametolightlastmonthaboutanallegedrelationshipbetweenmyselfandmyformerbodyguard,RhysLarsen.Thoseallegationswereofficiallydenied.ButIamheretodaytotellyoutheyaretrue.”
Themurmursexplodedintoaroar.Thereportersjumpedfromtheirseats,shoutingandthrustingtheirmicrophonesatme.Behindthem,thecrowdwentwild
Cameraflashes.Shouts.Amillionphonesraisedintheair,aimedatme.
Myheartrateslowedandroaredinmyears.
ItriednottopictureElin’sormyfamily’sreactions.Theymustbefreakingout.I’drefusedtotellthemwhatIwouldsaybeforehand,andI’dinsistedtheystayinthepalacefortheevent.
Todaywasallonme.
Iraisedmyvoicetospeakabovethedin.“IamalsoheretodaytotellyouIamstillinarelationshipwithMr.Larsen.”
Pandemonium.
ItwassoloudIcouldn’thearmyselfthink,butmyspeechwasover.Itwastimetoturnitovertothereporters—oneinparticular.
“Yes.”IgesturedatJas,thereporterfromTheDailyTea.
“YourHighness.”Thecrowdquietedtohearherquestion.“WhatabouttheRoyalMarriagesLaw?Youwillbecrownedasqueeninlessthanninemonths,andthelawrequiresyoutomarrysomeoneofnoblebirthbeforetheceremony,”Jassaid,justaswe’dagreedupon.
ItwasamazingwhatthepromiseofthefirstexclusiveinterviewwiththeQueenofEldorracouldaccomplish.
Ismiled.“Thankyou,Jas.Youbringupagoodpoint.ButwhiletheRoyalMarriagesLawrequiresthemonarchtomarryanoble,itdoesnotrequirethemtobemarriedbeforethecoronation.Thatbeingsaid,Ibelieveitistimewerethinkthelaw.Itwascreatedintheeighteenthcentury,whenEldorraneededthealliancessecuredthroughroyalmarriagetosurviveasanation,butitisnolongertheeighteenthcentury.Europeisnolongeratwar.AndIbelieveitislongpasttimetorepealtheRoyalMarriagesLaw.”
“YouwouldneedtheSpeakertobringthemotiontothefloorandatleastthree-fourthsofParliamenttopassarepeal,”Jassaid,rightoncue.“ThisissuecameupduringtheabdicationofformerCrownPrinceNikolai.Thereweren’tenoughvotes.”
“Thatistrue.”Ipaused,forcingthecrowdtowaitforwhatIhadtosaynext.Keeptheminsuspense.Elin’svoiceechoedinmyhead.Wedidn’tagreeoneverything,butsheknewwhatshewasdoingwhenitcametothepress.“Whathappenedwithmybrotherwasatragedy.Hewould’vemadeawonderfulking,buthehadtochoosebetweenloveandcountry,andhechoselove.Ithinkthat’ssomethingallofuscanrelateto.Whilewe,asaroyalfamily,strivetorepresentthecountryandservethecitizensofEldorrathebestwecan,wearealsohuman.Welove,andwegrieve…”Myvoicecaughtasmyparents’facesflashedthroughmymind.“Andsometimes,wehavetomakeimpossibledecisions.Butneithermybrothernoranyonestandinghereshouldhavetomakethatchoice.Whetherornotthemonarchmarriesanoblehasnobearingontheirabilitytoserve.TheRoyalMarriagesLawisarelicfromatimethatnolongerexists,andIappealtoParliamenttoreconsidertheirstanceontheissue.”
Thatwaswhatmywordssaid,butmyrealappeal—thewholepointofmyspeech—wasdirectedtothepublic.Addresstheirconcernsaboutmefromthestart,connectwiththememotionallyviamyconfessionaboutbeingscaredtotakeonmyrole,remindthemofthegoodI’ddoneandmyexperiencewithParliament,andexplainthelogicofwhythelawneededtoberepealed.
Ethosandlogos.
I’dmeanteveryword,butI’dalsospenthoursstrategicallycraftingthespeech.IfIwantedtosucceedasqueen,Ineedednotonlytoplaythegamebutdominateit,andpublicopinionmeanteverythingwhenIhadnorealpoliticalpower.
Ofcourse,therewasoneimportantpartofthepressconferenceleft.
Pathos.
“Youkeepmentioningthechoicebetweenloveandcountry,”Jassaid.“DoesthatmeanyouareinlovewithMr.Larsen?”
Thecrowdhelditsbreath.Theentirecountry,itseemed,helditsbreath.
Inthedistance,acarhonked,andabirdswoopedoverhead,itswingsflappingagainsttheclearbluesky.Neitherdisturbedtheheavyhushblanketingthelawn.
Iwaitedforonebeat.Two.Then,withasmallsmile,Isaid,“Yes.Iam.Thatisall.Thankyoutoeveryoneforcomingtoday.”
Ileftthepodiumtoafrenzyofshoutsandcheers.
Mylegsshook,andmyheartthunderedasIwalkedtothebackofthepalaceIdidit.Icouldn’tbelieveit.
ButIcouldn’tcelebratejustyet.Ihadonethingleftonmyto-dolist.
Isteppedintothemarble-flooredbreezewaybythepalace’ssideentrance.Rhyswaitedintheshadowsofthecolumns,hisgrayeyesburningwithamoltenflame.“Youdidgood,princess.”
Isteppedintohisembrace,mypulsehammeringinmythroat.“It’snotoveryet.”Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhisneckandwhispered,“Kissmeliketheworld’swatching.”
Hisslowsmiledrippedthroughmelikerich,smoothhoney.“Gladly,YourHighness.”
Rhys’smouthdescendedonmine,andIheardthesoft,telltaleclickofacamerashutterfromthenearbybushes.
“Thinktheygotit?”Hislipsbrushedagainstmineashespoke.
“Definitely.”
Hegrinnedandkissedmeagain.Deeperthistime,moreinsistent,andIpressedagainsthim,lettinghistouchandtastesweepmeaway.
Thefirstkisswasfortheworld.Thisonewasforus.47Rhys
1weeklater
“YourHighness!”Erhall’sassistantjumpedupfromherdesk,hereyeswide.“I’msosorry.Idon’tknowwhathappened,butwedon’thaveyouonthecalendar.Theremust’vebeenamix-up—”
“It’sallright,”Bridgetsaidwithagracioussmile.“Ididn’tmakeanappointment,butwewouldliketospeakwiththeSpeaker.Isheavailable?”
“Oh,um.”Theflustered-lookingwomanrifledthroughherpapersbeforesheshookherhead.“Yes,ofcourse.Please,followme.”
SheledusthroughtheSpeaker’schamberstowardhisoffice.Thethickbluecarpetmuffledthesoundsofourfootsteps,andmymusclesknottedwithtension.
We’rereallydoingthis.
Iwasn’tscaredofErhall,butthiswouldbemyfirsttimeseeinghimsinceIfoundouthewasmyfather.Biologically,anyway.Hehadn’tdonejackshittoearnthehonorthetitledeserved.
Erhall’sassistantknockedonhisdoor.Noanswer.Sheknockedagain.
“What?Itoldyounottodisturbme!”hebarked.
Thewomanflinched.“Mr.Speaker,HerHighnessPrincessBridgetisheretoseeyou.And,um,Mr.Larsen.”Shecastaquick,awedglanceinmydirection
Ifoughtagrimace.
Afterthepastweek,everyoneinEldorra—hell,everyoneintheworld—knewmyfaceandname.They’dtakenoverheadlinesfromTokyotoNewYork,andthefootagefromBridget’spressconference,aswellasthe“candid”photosandvideosofuskissingafterward,hadplayedonrepeatoneverynewschannel.
Thepressspunthestoryasareversefairytaleaboutaprincessandherbodyguard,andthecommentatorsranwithit,penningentirearticlesandop-edsaboutlove,duty,andtradition.
Thepublicateitup.AccordingtoBridget,Parliamenthadbeeninundatedwithcallsaboutrepealingthelaw,andthehashtag#LoveOverCountryhadbeentrendingallweekonsocialmedia.
Lovewasthemostuniversalemotion.Noteveryoneexperiencedit,buttheyallwantedit—eventhosewhosaidtheydidn’t—andBridget’spressconferencehadtappedintothatcoreneed.Shewasn’tjustaroyalanymore.Shewasahumanand,moreimportantly,relatabletoeverypersonouttherewhocouldn’tbewiththepersontheywantedforwhateverreason.
Therewasnothingmorepowerfulthanpowerpeoplecouldrelateto.
Bridget’splanhadworkedbetterthanwecould’vehoped,butitwasdisconcertingseeingmyfacealloverthenewsstandsandhavingpeoplestopandstarewhereverIwent.
ButI’dagreedtotheplanknowingitwoulddestroyanysemblanceofprivacyIhadleft,andifsteppingoutoftheshadowsandintothespotlightwaswhatittookforustobetogether,I’ddoaninterviewwitheverygoddamnedmagazineoutthere.
Bridget,Erhall’sassistant,andIwaitedfortheSpeaker’sresponsetoBridget’svisit.
Iheardtheslamofadeskdrawerfollowedbyseveralbeatsofsilencebeforethedoorswungopen,revealinganirritated-lookingErhall.
Theknotsinmymusclesdoubled.Myfather.Ididn’tknowwhatI’dexpected.Maybeatuginmystomachatthesightofthemanwhowastechnicallyonehalfofme,ortheloathingthathadsimmeredbeneaththesurfaceforoverthreedecades,waitingforthedaywhenIcouldunleashitinahailoffistsandbloodandcurses.
Instead,Ifeltnothing.NothingexceptavaguedistasteforErhall’soverlycoiffed,gel-slickhairandangeratthetight,bordering-on-disrespectfulsmilehegaveBridget.
“YourHighness.Please,comein.”Histoneindicatedhewaslessthanpleasedbythesurprise,andhedidn’tacknowledgemeaswesteppedintohislarge,oak-paneledoffice.
BridgetandItooktheseatsacrossfromhim.Theofficereflectedtheman,coldandemptyofanypersonaleffectsexceptfortheframeduniversitydegreeshangingonthewalls.
IstudiedErhall,tryingtoseetheresemblancebetweenus.Ispottedahintofitintheangleofhischeekbonesandtheslopeofhisforehead.Itwasn’tobviousenoughstrangerswouldlookatusandguesswewererelated,butitwasthereifonelookedcloselyenough.
Iblinked,andtheresemblancedisappeared,replacedbyapinchedvisageandcold,calculatingeyes.
“So.”Erhallsteepledhisfingersbeneathhischin,hislipsaspinchedastherestofhisface.“Thecrownprincessherselfvisitingmeinmyoffice.TowhatdoIowethehonor?”
“IhaveanagendaitemforParliament’snextsession.”Bridgetradiatedauthority,andprideflashedthroughme.She’dcomealongwaysincethedaywesatinherhotelsuiteinNewYork,watchingNikolai’sabdicationonTV.She’dlookedlikeshewantedtothrowupduringhisspeech,buttherewasnotraceofthatscared,uncertaingirltoday.“OpenthemotiontorepealtheRoyalMarriagesLaw.”
Erhallstaredatherforasecondbeforelaughing.Loudly.
Asnarlrumbledinmythroat,butIforcedmyselftoremainsilent.ThiswasBridget’sshow.
“Ithoughtthiswasanothercitizenwrite-inissue,”Erhallsaid.“I’mafraidIcan’tdothat.ThelawisoneoftheoldestinEldorra,andas…movingasyourpressconferencewas,it’stradition.Nottomention,wehavefarmoreimportantissuesathand,includingthewaterpollutionproblemyoubroughttoourattentionlastmonth.YouwantcleandrinkingwaterforthepeopleofHedelberg,don’tyou?”
Bridgetsmiled,notblinkinganeyeathisheavy-handedthreat.“I’mafraidyoumisunderstandme.Thatwasn’tarequest,andItrustParliamentiscompetentenoughtohandlemorethanoneissueatatime.Ifit’snot,Isuggestachangeinhowyourunthechamber,Mr.Speaker…orachangeintheSpeakershipaltogether.”
Erhall’schucklesvanished,andhisfacehardened.“Withallduerespect,YourHighness,ParliamentconsultstheCrownasacourtesy,butnoone,notevenHisMajesty,dictatesthelaw.”
“Thenit’sagoodthingI’mnotdictatingthelaw.”Bridgetcrossedherlegs,herpostureflawlessasshestaredhimdown.“I’mtellingyoutorepealone.Itisoutdatedandholdsnopracticalvalueforthecountryorthepeople.Withoutvalue,traditionisnothingbutanimitationofthepast,andthepeopleagree.Arecentpollputpublicapprovalforarepealatninety-threepercent.”
Erhall’schestpuffedwithindignation.“Ibegtodiffer.Traditionisthefoundationofthiscountry,thisoffice,andyouroffice.Wecannotgoabouttearingitdownwilly-nilly.Sono,I’mafraidIcannotbringthemotiontothefloor.NomatterhowmanysouvenirT-shirtsthey’resellingwithMr.Larsen’sfaceonthem,”headdedwithasmallsneer.
BridgetandIexchangedglances.
Areyousure?
Yes.Doit.
Short,succinct,andsilent.Themostefficientconversationwe’deverhad
“YoushouldcaremoreaboutMr.Larsen’spublicprofile,”Bridgetsaid,hermildtonegivingnowarningbeforeshedroppedthebombshell.“Consideringhe’syourson.”
Mostexplosionsweredeafening,rattlingteethandeardrumswiththesheerforceoftheenergyexpelled.Thisonewassilentbutahundredtimesdeadlier,itsshockwavesslammingintoErhallbeforeheeversawitcoming.
Icouldpinpointthemomenttheimpacthit.Hisfacedrainedofcolor,andthesmugself-satisfactiondisappearedfromhiseyesastheybouncedbetweenmeandBridget.Backandforth,backandforth,liketwopingpongballsstuckinapendulum.
“That’s—he’s—that’salie,”Erhallsputtered.“Idon’thaveason.”
“Michigan,summerofeighty-six,”Isaid.“DeidreLarsen.”
Ididn’tthinkitwaspossible,butErhall’sfacepaledfurtheruntilitmatchedthecolorofhisstarchedbutton-down.
“Judgingbyyourreaction,yourememberher.”Ileanedforward,myfacecreasingwithagrimsmilewhenhescootedbackaninchinresponse.Afaintsheenofperspirationglistenedonhisforehead.“She’sdead,bytheway.Turnedtoalcoholanddrugsafterapieceofshitlowlifeabandonedherwhenshetoldhimshewaspregnant.OverdosedwhenIwaseleven.”
IthoughtIcaughtaflashofregretinErhall’seyesbeforehecovereditup.
“I’msorrytohearthat.”Amuscleworkedinhisjaw,andhereachedforhistieonlytolowerhishandbeforemakingcontact.“ButI’mafraidIdon’tknowaDeidreLarsen.Youhavememistakenforsomeoneelse.”
Myhandsflexedintofists.Bridgetslidahandontomyknee,hertouchcoolandreassuring,andIexpelledalongbreathbeforeIforcedmyselftorelax
Iwasn’theretobeatdownonErhall,atleastnotphysically.Wehadamoreimportantgoaltoaccomplish.
“That’snotwhattheDNAtestssay.”Ireachedintomypocketandslappedthepapers,courtesyofAndreas,onthedeskwithathudthatmadeErhalljump.“Takealookifyoudon’tbelieveme.”
Hedidn’ttouchthem.WebothknewwhatIsaidwastrue.
“Whatdoyouwant?”Erhallrecoveredsomeofhiscomposure.“Money?Atitle?”Heraisedaneyebrow.“Monthlybondingactivities?”
Despitehismockingtone,hestaredatmewithastrangeexpressionthatalmost…
No.ThedayIwillinglyengagedinanyformof“bonding”activitywithhimwasthedayiciclesformedinhell.
“HerHighnessalreadytoldyou.”ItiltedmyheadinBridget’sdirection.Shessatcalmlynexttome,herexpressionneutral,almostbored,asshewatchedourconversation.“WewantyoutoopenthemotiontorepealtheRoyalMarriagesLaw.”
“AndifIdon’t?”
“Youmightfindthenewsaboutyourlong-lostlovechildsplashedacrossthefrontpageofthenextDailyTea,”Bridgetsaid.“Hypotheticallyspeaking,ofcourse.Journalistscangettheirhandsonthedarnedestthings.”Sheshookherhead.“It’stoobadtheywon’twaituntilaftertheelections.Youhavequiteastrongopponentthisyear.Justahintofascandalcouldtipthingsinhisfavor.ButwhatdoIknow?”Hersmilereturned.“I’mjusta‘prettyface.’”
Erhall’sfacechangedfromchalkwhitetobrightpurpleinzero-point-twoseconds.Itwould’vebeenalarminghaditnotbeensosatisfying.“Areyoublackmailingme?”
“No,”Bridgetsaid.“I’mencouragingyoutodotherightthing.Becauseyouwilldotherightthing,won’tyou,Mr.Speaker?”
Icouldtellhewasstrugglingtoholdbacksomechoiceepithetsasthewheelsspuninhishead.
Ifherefused,heriskedlosinghispoliticalcareeroverthescandalanillegitimatechildwouldcause.Herepresentedoneofthemosttraditionalcountiesinthecountry,andhisvoterswouldnotrespondwelltothenewshehadachildwithanAmericanwaitressoutofwedlock.
Ifhecaved,hewouldlosethepowerplay,becausethat’swhatthiswas.Itwouldn’ttakemuchforErhalltobringthemotiontothefloor,butdoingsomeantBridgetgainedtheupperhand.Politicswasagameandlosingamatch—especiallytosomeoneErhalldeemedinferiorfornootherreasonthanhergender—hadtosting.
Thegrandfatherclocktickedinthecorner,thepassingofsecondsdeafeninginthesilence.
Finally,Erhall’sshouldersslumped,andathrillofvictorydartedthroughme.“EvenifIbringthemotiontothefloor,Parliamentwillneverpassit,”hesaidspitefully.“Publicopiniononlytakesyousofar.”
Bridget’ssmiledidn’twaver.“LetmeworryabouttherestofParliament.Youdoyourpart,andtheworldneverhastoknowaboutyourindiscretion.YoumightevensitinthePrimeMinister’sseatoneday.Butremember,Mr.Speaker,I’mgoingtobequeen.AndIwillstillbequeenlongafteryourpoliticalcareerisoverandyou’rehawkingyourmemoiraboutyourglorydaysonmorningtalkshows.So,it’sinyourbestinteresttoworkwithmeandnotmakethingsdifficult.Don’tyouagree?”
Erhallwasanasshole,buthewasn’tanidiot.“Fine.I’llopenthemotionatthenextsessionofParliament,”hesaid,tonesullen.
“Excellent.”Bridgetrosefromherseat.“Idoloveaproductivemeeting.Mr.Larsen,isthereanythingelseyou’dliketoadd?”
IstaredatErhall.Whilecertainthingshesaidanddidpissedmeoff,myoverallfeelingstowardmyfatherhadshiftedfromloathingtoindifference.
Whateverholdhehadoverme,itwasgone.
“Ispentmylifebuildingyouupinmymind,”Isaid.“Youwerethedecisionthatchangedtwolivesirrevocably,themonsterwhochangedmymotherintothemonstershebecame.Icould’vefoundoutyouridentityalongtimeago,butIchosenotto.ItoldmyselfitwasbecauseIdidn’ttrustmyselfenoughnottokillyouforwhatyoudid”—Erhallflinchedandscootedbackanotherinch—“butthetruthis,Iwasscaredoffacingtheghostthathadhauntedmemyentirelife,evenwhenIwasconvincedghostsweren’treal.Whatwashelike,themanthatwastechnicallyonehalfofme?HowwouldhereactwhenhefoundoutIwashisson?”
ThemuscleinErhall’sjawjumpedagain.
“Well,Ifinallyfacedhim,andyouknowwhatIrealized?”Ilookedhimstraightintheeye.Notaniotaofanythingotherthanapathypassedthroughme.“He’snotamonster.He’sasad,patheticlittlemanwhowastoomuchofacowardtoownuptotheconsequencesofhisactions,andIwasteddecadeslettinghimhavemorepowerovermylifethanhedeserved.Sono,Idon’tandwillneverwantyourmoney,yourtitle,oranyformofrelationshipwithyou.AsfarasI’mconcerned,myfatherisdead.Hediedwhenhewalkedawaythirty-fouryearsago.”
ErhallflinchedasI,too,stood,myheightthrowingashadowoverhishunchedform.Inodded.“Haveagoodday,Mr.Speaker.”
BridgetandImadeithalfwaytothedoorbeforehesaid,“Arrangedmarriagesaren’tonlyforroyals,Mr.Larsen.PeoplehavebeenforcedintolovelessmarriageslongbeforeHerHighnesswasborn.”
Ipausedandlookedback,myeyeslockingwithErhall’s.Iglimpsedanotherflashofregret,butitwasn’tenough.NotforwhathedidtoDeidre,andnotforwhathedidtome.Therewasnoexcuseforhowhe’dhandledthesituation.
Insteadofresponding,Iclosedtheremainingdistancetotheexitandlefthimthere,sputteringandaloneinhiscold,oversizedoffice.
Bridgetwaiteduntilweenteredtheelevator,awayfromthepryingearsandeyesofErhall’sassistant,beforeshespoke.“Weshouldmakeourroundsonthespeechcircuit,”shesaid.“We’dmakeakilling.”
Alaughrumbledinmythroat.Aheavyweighthadliftedoffmychest,allowingmylaughtertoflowmorefreely.
“Hardpassforme.I’mnottypicallyaspeechkindaguy.”
“Youdidgoodinthere.”Bridgetsqueezedmyarm,themovementconveyingmorethananywordscould,beforeaglintofmischieflituphereyes.“IthoughtErhallwouldruptureanartery.Imagineifwe’dmentionedAndreastoo.”
AndreashadbeenadamantaboutneverlettingErhallknowthetruthabouthim.Hehadmoretolosethananyofusifthetruthabouthisparentagecametolight,andIhadnoproblemkeepingthesecret—partlybecauseIrespectedhischoice,andpartlybecauseitkepthiminline.Evenifhedidn’twantthecrown,hewasstillonmywatchlist.AnyonewhocouldpossiblythreatenBridgetwas.
“So.Battlenumberonewon,”IsaidastheelevatorstoppedonthegroundflooroftheParliamentbuilding.“What’snext?”
Bridget’smischiefgavewaytodetermination.“Next,wewinthewar.”
“Damnrightwewill.”
Iheldoutmyhand,andshetookit,hersmall,softpalmnestlingperfectlyinmybigger,rougherone.
Thedoorswhooshedopen,andwesteppedouttoafrenzyofcameraflashesandreportersshoutingquestionsovereachother.
Outoftheshadowsandintothespotlight.
I’dneverexpectedglobalrecognition,butImeantitwhenIsaidIwouldfollowBridgetanywhere—includingintothemiddleofamediafirestorm.
Youready,Mr.Larsen?
Bornready,princess.
BridgetandIkeptourhandsclaspedtogetheraswewalkedthroughthestorm.
Onebattledown,onewartowin.
GoodthingIwas,andalwayswillbe,asoldierforonequeen.48Bridget
Forthenextmonth,Ilaunchedintocampaignmodetowoo,orthreaten,enoughministersintovotingyesonarepeal.Somewereaneasysell,othersnotsomuch.Butonehundredphonecalls,elevenin-personvisits,twenty-threemediainterviews,andcountlesspublicappearances—bothscheduledand“candid”—ofmeandRhyslater,thebigdayfinallyarrived.
RhysandIsatinmysuite,watchingthevoteplayoutonTV.I’dstress-atemywaythroughtwopacksofOreoswhilehesatnexttome,hisfaceimpassivebuthisbodyvibratingwiththesamerestlessenergytunnelingthroughmyveins.
Thecurrentvotecount:ninetyyay,thirtynay,andtwoabstentions,withfifty-eightmorevotestogo.Weneededonehundredthirty-fiveyaysforarepeal.Itlookedgood,butIwasn’tcountingmychickensuntiltheyhatched.
“LadyJensen.”Erhall’ssourvoicerangthroughthemahogany-paneledchamberon-screen.
“Yay.”
“LordOrskov.”
“Yay.”
IsqueezedRhys’shand,myheartthumping.I’dslottedOrskovintothemaybecolumn,sohisvotewasabigwin.
“They’llpassit.”Rhys’squietconfidencesoothedthefrayededgesofmynerves.“Iftheydon’t,wehaveourbackupplan.”
“Whichis?”
“BurndownParliament.”
Ihuffedoutalaugh.“How’sthatsupposedtohelp?”
“Idon’tknow,butit’dbedamnsatisfying.”
Anotherlaugh,anothereasingofnerves.
Fifty-sevendown.Fifty-six.Fifty-five.
Thevotecontinueduntilonlytwoministerswereleftandwewereoneyayshortofarepeal.Ifeitherofthemvotedyes,wewerehomefree.
IsqueezedRhys’shandagainasErhallcalledonthenextminister.
“LordKoppel.”
“Nay.”
IdeflatedwhileRhysletoutastreamofcurses.Ihadn’texpectedKoppeltovoteyes,butitwasdisappointingnonetheless.
Regretroseinmythroat.Ishould’vedugouttheblackmailfileonKoppel.I’dtriedtokeepmycampaignaboveboard,neveroutrightthreateninganyoftheministersexceptErhall,butperhapsI’dmiscalculated.Iwouldn’tbethefirstpersoninhistorywho’dgottenscrewedoverbytheirconscience.
Youdidwhatwasright.
Thehairsonthebackofmyneckprickled.Istraightenedandlookedaroundmysuite,butitwasemptysaveforRhysandme.Still,Icould’veswornIheardasoftfemalevoicewhispertome…avoicethatsoundedsuspiciouslylikemymother’s,basedontheoldtapesI’dwatchedofher.
ThisiswhatIgetforstayinguplate.I’dbeentoowiredtosleepmuchlastnight,andIwasclearlydeliriousfromexhaustion.
On-screen,asmugsmileslashedacrossErhall’sface,andIcouldtellhewasprayingfortherepealtofail.He’dopenedthemotionaspromised,buthisgleehadbeenvisibleeverytimesomeonevotednay.
“LadyDahl.”
Ignawedonmybottomlip.
Dahlwasthelastministerleft.ShehadoneofthemostunpredictablevotingrecordsinParliament,andshecouldgoeitherway.NoneofmycallstoherhadyieldedanythingmorethanapoliteThankyou,YourHighness.I’llthinkaboutit.
TherestlessenergyemanatingfromRhystripleduntilitwasnearaudibleinthethicksilenceofmysuite.TheOreossloshedinmystomach,andIwishedIhadn’tbingedonsomuchsugarinsuchashorttime.
Dahlopenedhermouth,andIsqueezedmyeyesshut,unabletowatchthemomentthatwouldchangemylife—forbetterorforworse.
Please,please,please…
“Yay.”
Yay.Ittookaminuteformybraintoprocessthatoneword.Whenitdid,myeyesflewopenintimetoseeanirritated-lookingErhallsay,“Withafinalvotecountofonehundredthirty-fiveyay,fortynays,andfiveabstentions,ParliamentofficiallydeclarestheRoyalMarriagesLawof1723repealed.Thechamber…”
Itunedouttherestofwhathesaid.Iwastoobuzzed,myskinracingwithtinglesofelectricityandmyheaddizzywithdisbelief.MystunnedgazemetRhys.“Didthatreallyhappen?”
Hiseyescrinkledintoasmallsmile.“Yeah,princess,itdid.”Fierceprideandrelieflinedhisface.
“Wedidit.”Icouldn’twrapmyheadaroundit.ThelawhadbeenthebaneofmyexistencesinceIbecamecrownprincess,andnow,itwasgone.IcouldmarrywhomeverIwantedwithoutgivingupthethrone.IcouldmarryRhys.
Theimportofwhathappenedfullysankin.
“Wedidit!”IsquealedandflungmyselfintoalaughingRhys’sarms.Everythingwentblurry,andIrealizedIwascrying,butIdidn’tcare.
Somanymonthsofagonizingoverthelaw,somanyearlymorningsandlatenightsandconversationsthatmademewanttotearmyhairout…allworthit,becausewedidit.
I’mproudofyou,honey.Thesoftfemalevoicereturned,andemotionwelledinmythroat.
Itdidn’tmatterwhetherthevoicewasrealorafigmentofmyimagination.Allthatmatteredwasitwasthere,closerthanit’deverbeen.
Thanks,Mom.I’mproudofme,too.
Rhys,mygrandfather,andNikolaihadallreassuredmeIcoulddomyjobasqueen,butIhadn’tquitebelievedthemuntilnow.MyfirstrealvictoryinParliament.Ihopedmyrelationshipwiththeministerswouldbemorecooperativethancombative,butIwasn’tna?veenoughtothinkit’dbesmoothsailingfromhereonout.There’dbeplentyofuphillbattlestocome,butifIwononce,Icouldwinagain.
Rhyscapturedmymouthinadeep,tenderkiss.“Youdidit.I’mjustalongfortheride.”
“Nottrue.”Isnuggledclosertohim,soeuphoricIwould’vefloatedrightoffthegroundhadhenotsecuredhisarmsaroundmywaist.“Youwerethereforeverything,too.”
Theinterviews,themeetings,thepublicappearances.Allofit.
AdeepsoundrumbledinRhys’schest.“Lookslikeyou’restuckwithme,princess.”Hegrazedhisknucklesovermyspine.“Should’vethoughtthisthrough.”
“AmI?”Iadoptedathoughtfulexpression.“Icouldalwaysbreakupwithyouanddatesomeoneelse.There’samoviestarI’vealways—”Isquealedagainwhenhestoodandtossedmeoverhisshoulder.
“Rhys,putmedown.”Iwassmilingsobigmycheekshurt.“Ihavecallstoanswer.”Iwavedmyhandinthegeneraldirectionofmyphone,whichhadbeenvibratingwithnewmessagesandcallssincethevoteconcluded.
“Later.”Rhys’spalmlandedwithahardsmackonmyass,andIyelpedevenasheatsearedthroughmeattheimpact.“Ineedtoteachyoualessonaboutjokingwithme.Especiallyaboutothermen.”
Wasitwrongmypantiesdampenedatthewayhisvoiceloweredintoapossessivegrowl?Perhaps.ButIcouldn’tbringmyselftocareashekickedthedoortomybedroomfullyopenandtossedmeonthebed.
“Whatkindoflesson?”Iwasalreadysowetmythighswerestickywithmyarousal,andRhys’sdarksmileonlymademewetter.
“Getonyourhandsandknees,”hesaid,ignoringmyquestion.“Andfacetheheadboard.”
Icomplied,andmyheartcrashedagainstmyribcagewhenthebeddippedbeneathRhys’sweight.Heyankedmyskirtupwithonehandandmypantiesdownwiththeother,themovementsoforcefulIheardtheunmistakableripofsilktearing.
Ineededtosetasideamonthlybudgettoreplacealltheunderwearhe’druined,butIwasn’tcomplaining.
“We’llcelebratethevotelater.”Rhysdraggedhisfingerthroughmyslicknessandovermysensitizedclit,andatinywhimperescapedmymouth.“Butfornow,let’sseeifyoustillthinkyou’refunnyafterI’mdonewithyou.”
ThatwasthelastwarningIreceivedbeforealoudthwackfilledtheroom,andablushofpainmingledwithpleasureburstontomyskin.
Iloweredmyheadjustintimetostiflemyscreamwithmypillowbeforeanotherburstofsensationjoinedthefirst.
Hewasright.Wecouldcelebratethevotelater.Fornow,weneededtoworkoffallthetensionandanxietyfromthepastmonth,and—
IgaspedwhenRhysfilledmefrombehind,andsoon,everythoughtmeltedawayexceptfortheblissofhistouchandthefullnessinmyheart.49Bridget
Wespenttherestofthedayandnightinmyroom,onlysurfacingforfood,butthenextmorning,realityintruded,andIwasforcedtoextricatemyselffromRhys’sarms.
AshighasIwasridingfromourvictory,Ihadonebigissuelefttodealwith.I’dwaiteduntilafterthevotebecauseIcouldn’taffordtobedistractedbeforethen,butitwastimetofaceitonceandforall.
RhysstayedinthebedroomwhileIwaitedformyguestinthesittingroom.
IheardaknockbeforeMikaelapokedherheadin.“Youwantedtoseeme?”
“Yes.Please,sit.”
Shewalkedinandploppedintotheseatnexttome.“I’vebeendyingtotalktoyou,butyoudidn’tanswermycallsyesterday.Iassumeyouwere…busy,butohmygod,thevote!Wehavetocelebrate!That’sama—”
“Whydidyouleakthephotosofmetothepress?”Iskippedthebuildupandgotstraighttothepoint.Icouldn’tstomachsmalltalkwiththeproverbialblackcloudhangingoverus.
Ikeptmyvoiceneutral,butIdugmynailssodeepintothecouchcushiontheylefttinyindentations.
Ihadn’twantedtobelieveitwhenRhystoldme.Partofmestillhopedhewaswrong.ButMikaela’spalefaceandpanickedeyestoldmeallIneededtoknow.
Itwastrue.
Betrayalstabbedatmewithsharptalons,puncturingmypreviouslycoldcalm.
Ididn’thavealotoffriendsinEldorra.Ihadacquaintancesandpeoplewhosuckeduptomebecauseofmytitle,butnorealfriends.Mikaelahadbeentheoneconstantbymyside,andI’dtrustedher.
“I…Idon’tknowwhatyou’retalkingabout,”Mikaelasaid,avoidingmyeyes.
“Rhys’soldcompanytracedthephotosbacktoyourIPaddress.”Rhys’soldbossChristianwasapparentlyacomputergenius,andRhyshadaskedhimtohelpfindtheleaker’sidentity.I’dknownforweeksMikaelacouldbetheculprit,andI’dhadtopretendnothingwaswronguntilIconfrontedher.
Iftheroyalthingdidn’tworkout,Imighthaveasecondcallingasanactress.
Mikaelaopenedhermouth,closedit,thenopeneditagain.“IthoughtIwashelpingyou,”shesaidweakly.“Shetoldmeitwouldhelp.”
“Iknow.”
Thetalonsofbetrayaldugdeeper.
Christianhadfoundsome…interestingtextmessageswhenhe’dlookedintoMikaela’scorrespondencewithTheDailyTea,andtheyhadthrownmeforasmuchofaloopasthediscoveryMikaelawastechnicallytheleaker.
Thefactithadn’tbeenMikaela’sideadidn’tlessenthesting.Sheshould’veknownbetter.
Iheardanotherknock.
“Comein.”Ididn’ttakemyeyesoffMikaela,wholookedlikeshewantedtosinkintothecouchandnevercomebackup.
Elinwalkedin,sleekandpolishedinherwhiteEscadasuitandthree-inchpumps.HereyesflickedoverMikaelabeforesettlingonme.“Yourequestedtoseeme,YourHighness.”
“Yes.WewerediscussingtheleakedphotosofRhysandme.”Ifinallytoremygazeawayfrommyfriend—ex-friend—andmetElin’scoolblueone.“Mightyouknowanythingaboutthat?”
Elinwasn’tdumb.Shepickeduponmyinsinuationimmediately,buttohercredit,shedidn’tfeignignoranceormakeexcuses.
“Ididittohelpyou,YourHighness,”shesaidafteronlyonemissedbeat.
“Byleakingprivatephotosofme?Howwasthatsupposedtohelp?”
“Theywerenotprivatephotos.”Annoyancecreptintohertone.“Theywereperfectlyinnocentphotosframedinasuggestivemanner.Iwould’veneverleakedtrulyincriminatingimages.ButifIhadn’tdonethat,youandMr.Larsenwould’vecontinuedcarryingonyourrecklessactions,andsomethingmorescandalouswould’vepoppedup.Itwasonlyamatteroftime.Don’tthinkIdidn’tnoticewhatyoutwotriedtohidebeneathmynose.Ididn’tholdthisjobforsolongbybeingoblivious.”
Dammit.Ishould’veknownElinwouldcatchontoouraffair.
Shewasright.Wehadbeenreckless,toocaughtupinourhoneymoonphasetotaketheusualprecautions.Butthatdidn’tmakewhatshedidright.
“Andthevideo?”
I’dfinallytoldRhysaboutthevideofromNikolai’sreceptionafewweeksago.He’dbeenupsetIkeptitasecretforsolong,butsincenothinghadcomeofit,he’dcalmeddownafter,oh,fivedays.Hehad,however,alsoaskedChristiantolookintowho’dsentit,andwhenIlearnedElinwasbehindthevideoaswell,I’dnearlyfallenoutofmyseat.
Thesurprisesneverstoppedcoming.
Mikaela’seyesbouncedbetweenmeandElin.“Whatvideo?”
Weignoredher,toolockedinourstaredown.
“It’sacrimetoplantcamerasinaprivateresidence,”Isaid.“Especiallyaprivateroyalresidence.”
“PrinceNikolaiknewaboutthecameras.”Elindidn’tsomuchasblink.“Thesecuritychiefconvincedhimtoinstallsecretsurveillancewhilethehousewasunderrenovation.Toomanycontractorsgoinginandout.Itwasaprecautionarymeasure.”
Ipaused,absorbingtheinformation,beforeIsaid,“Blackmailisalsoillegal.”
“Ididn’tblackmailyou,norwouldIeverdoso.”Elin’sbrowsdrewintoatightfrown.“IsentyouthevideohopingitwouldpromptyoutobreakoffyourrelationshipwithMr.Larsen.Whenyoudidn’t,Ihadtoleakthepictures.”
“Youdidn’thavetodoanything.Youcould’vetalkedtomeaboutitfirst,”Isaidcoldly.“Foracommunicationssecretary,you’renotgreatatcommunicating.”
“Itwouldn’thavechangedathing.You’restubborn,YourHighness.Youwould’vetoldmeyouwereendingthingsandgonerightbacktohim.Ihadtoforceyourhand.Plus,TheDailyTeareporterwesentthephotostohadalreadybeensnoopingaround,hopingtofinddirt.Securityfoundhimtrespassingonthegrounds.Hewasquitepersistent,thatone,almostlikehehasapersonalgrudge.”Elintiltedherhead.“HansNielsen,formerlyofTheNationalExpress.Ringabell?”
Several.HanswasthepaparazzowhosecameraRhyshaddestroyedinthecemeterylastyear.Apparently,he’dmovedupthecareerladderandheldagrudge.
Iflashedbacktoafewweeksago,whenRhystoldmehesuspectedsomeonehadsnoopedaroundhisguesthousewhilehe’dbeenlivingthere.IbetitwasHans,consideringithappenedbeforeRhysandIhadgottentogetherandElinhiredaphotographertotrailus.
Ididn’ttellElinanyofthat,though.
“Regardless,thepicturessatisfiedhimandkepthimfromdiggingfurther,”ElinsaidwhenIdidn’trespond.“Imustsay,inhindsight,yourpressconferencewasinspired,andyouandMr.Larsenmadeitwork.Yesterday’svotewasabigwin,sonoharm,nofoul.”
Funnyshecalledthepressconferenceinspirednowwhenshe’dthrownamassivefitoverit.
“Noharm,nofoul?”Irepeated.“Elin,youwentbehindmyback,createdascandal,anddraggedMikaelaintoit!”
Mikaela,who’dbeenwatchingtherapid-fireexchangebetweenuswithwideeyes,loweredherhead.
“Ineededago-between.Icouldn’thavethephotostracedbacktome.”Elinheavedadeepsigh.“Honestly,YourHighness,itallworkedout.Ifedthepressasmallerscandalsotheywouldn’tstumbleontoalargerone.Iwasprotectingtheroyalfamily.Thathasalwaysbeenmynumberonegoal.”
“Perhaps.”Isteeledmyspine.“Iappreciateyourservicetothefamilyovertheyears,butI’mafraidit’stimewepartways.”
MikaelasqueakedwhilethecolorleachedfromElin’sface.
“You’refiringme?Youcan’tfireme.HisMajesty—”
“HasgivenmetheauthoritytomakewhateverstaffingchangesIseefit,”Ifinished.Ipressedmyhandstightagainstmythighstokeepfromshaking.Elinwasoneofthepalace’slongest-servingemployees,andI’dalwaysbeenslightlyterrifiedofher.Butwhileshewasgreatattheexternalpartofherjob,Ineededsomeonewhoworkedwithme,notsomeonewhosnuckaroundbehindmybackandtriedtodictatemyactions.“Yousteppedovertheline,andyoulostourtrust.Mineandtheking’s.”
Elinclutchedherphone,herknuckleswhiterthanhersuit.Finally,shesaid,“Asyouwish.I’llhavemydeskclearedoutbytheendoftheweek.”Amuscletwitchedbeneathhereye,butotherwise,sheshowednoemotion.“Isthereanythingelse,YourHighness?”
Briskandefficienttotheend.
“No,”Isaid,feelingstrangelymelancholy.ElinandIhadneverbeenclose,butitwastheendofanera.“You’redismissed.”
Shegavemeatightnodandwalkedout.Shewasn’tonefordramatics,andsheknewmewellenoughtoknowwhenI’dsetmymindonsomething.
“Youtoo,”ItoldMikaela.
“Bridget,Iswear—”
“Ineedtothinkthingsthrough.”MaybeIwouldforgiveheroneday,butherbetrayalwasstillfreshandnothingshesaidrightnowwouldpenetratethehurt.“Idon’tknowhowlongthat’sgoingtotake,butIneedtime.”
“Fairenough.”Herchinwobbled.“Ireallywastryingtohelp.Elinwassoconvincing.Ididn’tbelieveheratfirstwhenshesaidyouandRhyshadsomethinggoingon.ButthenIthoughtaboutthewayyoulookedateachother,andthattimeyoutooksolongtoanswerthedooratyouroffice…itallmadesense.Shesaidyouwouldgetinhugetroubleif—”
“Mikaela,please.”Ipressedmyfingerstomyforehead.Ithurtalmostasmuchasmyheart.IfIwereoldBridget,perhapsIwould’veletwhatshedidslide,butIcouldn’taffordtoletthingsslideanymore.IneededpeopleIcouldtrustaroundme.“Notrightnow.”
Mikaelaswallowedhard,herfrecklesstarkagainstherpaleskin,butsheleftwithouttryingtomakeexcusesagain.
Iexpelledasharpbreath.TheconversationhadbeenshorterbutharderthanI’dexpected,evenafterweeksofmentalpreparation.
Isupposednothingcouldfullypreparesomeoneforfiringoneoftheirlongest-servingemployeesandsayinggoodbyetooneoftheiroldestfriendsinthespanofhalfanhour.
IheardRhyscomeupbehindme.Hedidn’tspeak.Hejustswepthispalmsovermyshouldersandmassagedthemuscleswithhisthumbs.
“I’dhopedyouwerewrong.”IstaredatwhereMikaelahadsat,thestingofbetrayallingeringonmyskin.
“Princess,I’mneverwrong.”
Ireleasedahalflaugh,breakingsomeofthetension.“Icanthinkofafewinstanceswhenyouwere.”
“Yeah?Likewhen?”Rhyschallenged,ahintofamusementshiningthrough.
Ideepenedmyvoicetomimichim.“One,Idonotbecomepersonallyinvolvedinmyclients’lives.Iamheretosafeguardyoufromphysicalharm.Thatisall.Iamnotheretobeyourfriend,confidant,oranythingelse.Thisensuresmyjudgmentremainsuncompromised.”Irevertedtomyregularvoice.“How’dthatworkoutforyou,Mr.Larsen?”
Hestoppedmassagingmyshouldersandcurledonehandaroundmythroat.Mypulsejumpedasheloweredhisheaduntilhislipsgrazedmyear.“Mockingme?Doyouneedarefresherlessonalready,YourHighness?”
Anotherpieceoftensioncracked.
“Maybe.Youmightwanttobrushuponyourteachingskills,Mr.Larsen,”Isaid,playingalong.“Thelessonsshouldlastlongerthanacouplehours.”
AnotherlaughescapedwhenRhyspickedmeupandswungmearounduntilwefacedeachother,andmylimbswrappedaroundhisneckandwaist.
“IknewyouweretroublethemomentIsawyou.”Hesqueezedmyass,hard,butthosesteel-grayeyesweresoftasheexaminedme.“Youdidwhatyouhadtodo,princess.”
Despitethegruffdelivery,hissingleshortsentencecomfortedmemoreanentirespeechfromsomeoneelsecould.
“Iknow.”Irestedmyforeheadagainsthis,tightnessballooninginmychest.“ButtherearesofewpeopleIcanturntohere,andIjustlosttwooftheminoneday.”
Toomuchwaschangingtoofast.Someofitwasgood,someofitwasnerve-wracking.Eitherway,Icouldbarelykeepup.
“Youhaveme.”
“Iknow,”Irepeated,softerthistime.
“Good.Andfortherecord…”Rhys’slipstiltedupintoasmallsmile.“I’veneverbeenhappiertobewrong.Fuckpersonallyinvolved.That’snotgoodenough.Iwanttobeinyourmind,inyourheart,andinyourfuckingsoulthewayyouareinmine.Youandme,princess…”
“…Againsttheworld,”Ifinished.ThetightnessinmychestnolongerhadanythingtodowithElinandMikaela.
“That’sright.You’reneveralone,princess,”hewhisperedagainstmymouth.“Rememberthat.”
RhysandIhadn’tofficiallycelebratedyesterday’svictoryyet,butashekissedme,Irealizedwedidn’tneedchampagneandfireworks.We’dalwaysbeenbestwhenitwasjustus,nopompandcircumstancerequired,andthebestcelebrationwasbeingtogetherwithouthavingtohide.
Noshame,noguilt,noimpendingvoteortoughconversationswithsoon-to-beex-friendsandex-employeeshangingoverourheads.
Justus.
Thatwasallweneeded.50Rhys
“Youcan’tsitbyaqueen’ssideifyoudon’tknowwhichforktouse.You’llembarrassyourselfatstatefunctions.”Andreascrossedhisarmsoverhischest.“DidyounotlookatthediagramIsentyou?”
“They’re.All.Forks,”Ibitout.“Theyservethesamefunction.”
“I’dliketoseeyoutrytouseanoysterforktoeatsteak.”
Adullachethrobbedatmytemple.We’dbeenreviewingdinneretiquetteforthepasthour,andIwasonesecondawayfromstabbingAndreaswithoneofhisbelovedforks.
He’dofficiallymovedoutofthepalaceandbackintohistownhouselastweek,aftertheparliamentaryvote,andwewerereviewingplacesettingsinhiskitchen.
I’daskedhimtohelpmeacclimatetothewholeroyallifestylething.Diplomaticprotocol,who’swhoinEldorransociety,andsoon.
Ialreadyregrettedit,andwehadn’tevenfinishedourfirstlesson.
BeforeIcouldrespond,thedoorbellrang,savingAndreasfromdeathbyutensil.
“Studythediagram,”hesaidbeforeansweringthedoor.
Mytemplethrobbedharder.Ishould’veaskedthepalace’sprotocolofficeforhelpinstead.Theywerehumorlessautomatons,butatleastIdidn’twanttomurderthemeveryfiveminutes.
Iheardfaintvoices,followedbythesoundoffootsteps.
“Rhys?”
IlookedupandsawBridgetstandinginthedoorwaywithBooth.Iwasn’tsurewhowasmoresurprised,herorme.
“Whatareyoudoinghere?”weaskedatthesametime.
“ItseemsI’mnowthemostpopularpersoninthefamily.”AndreassteppedaroundBridget.“Ironic.”
ShewalkedtomeandgavemeaquickkissbeforeslidingacoolglanceinAndreas’sdirection.“You’renotthemostpopularpersonanywhereexceptinyourhead.”
Ididn’tbotherhidingmysmile.SnarkyBridgetwasoneofmyfavoriteBridgets.
Andreasarchedaneyebrow.“Caretoexplainwhyyou’reherethen,YourHighness?Iassumedyou’dbetoobusytovisitlittleol’me.”
Goodquestion.Bridgetwassupposedtobeatacoronationplanningmeeting.
“Mymeetingendedearly,soIthoughtI’dcomebytosaythankyou.Ididn’tgetachancetosayitbefore,butIappreciateyouhelpingRhyswithErhall.”Itcameoutgrudgingly.Bridget’srelationshipwithAndreashadwarmedafewdegreessinceshefoundouthe’dbeentryingtohelpherinhisownfucked-upway,buttheywouldneverbebestfriends.Theyweretoodifferentandhadtoomuchhistory.
Andreas’sfacebrokeoutintoadeviousgrin.
“Don’tbeadick,”Iwarned.
“Me?Never.”hedrawledbeforeturningtoBridget.“Iappreciatethegratitude,cousindearest.Doesthismeanyouowemeafavorinthefuture?”
Shenarrowedhereyes.“Don’tpushit.”
Andreasshrugged.“Itwasworthashot.Whileyou’rehere,maybeyoucanexplainplacesettingstoyourboyfriend.Idrewaperfectdiagram,butalas,it’snotenough.”
Bridget’sconfusionmorphedintoamusementwhenIexplainedthesituation,glaringatAndreasthewholetime.
“Hedoesn’tknowhisforks,”AndreassaidafterIfinished.“I’mtryingtocivilizehim.Imagineusingasaladforktoeatpasta.”Hesniffedwithdisdain.
“Iknowthemenoughtostabyouwithoneofthem,”Isaid.
Boothsnortedfromthedoorway.
“Theviolenceisanotherthingwehavetoworkon.”Andreasfinishedhiswhiskeyandsetitonthecounter.“You’redatingaprincessnow.Youcan’tgoaroundstabbingpeople.”
“Oh,IthinkpeoplewillunderstandoncetheyfindoutwhoI’mstabbing.”
Bridgetlaughed.“Forgetabouthim,”shetoldme.“I’llhelpyou.”SheturnedtoBooth.“I’mfinehere.Rhysiswithme.Ibelievethere’safootballmatchyouwanttowatch?”
Footballasinsoccer,notAmericanfootball.ItwasoneofthethousandsmallthingsIhadtogetusedto.
Booth’sfacelitup.“Ifyouwouldn’tmind,YourHighness.”
SinceitwasgettinglateandAndreashadnogroceriesexceptformilkandeggs,weorderedtakeoutwhileBoothwatchedhisgameinthedenandBridgetandAndreasfoughttoteachmeaboutplacesettings.EventuallyIgotthehangofit,andwemovedontonobilityranks.Itwasn’thardtoremember.Aftertheroyalfamily,dukesandduchessesrankedhighest,followedbymarquesses,counts,earls,andbarons.EldorrahadasimilarhierarchytoBritain.
“YoumightmakeagoodPrinceConsortafterall.”Andreaswipedhismouthwithanapkinandcheckedtheclock.“Ifyou’llexcuseme,IhaveacallwithanoldfriendfromOxford.Don’tdestroythekitchenwhileI’mgone.”
“Goodtohear.YouknowhowIliveforyourapproval,”Ideadpanned.
“Ido.”Heclappedmeontheshoulderonhiswayout,andmyannoyanceratchetedupanothernotch.
Icouldn’tbelieveIsharedDNAwiththatguy.
WhenIturnedbacktoBridget,shewastrying,andfailing,tosuppressasmile.
“What’ssofunny?”
“YouandAndreas.YoubickerlikeNikandIdo.”Hersmilewidenedattheincomprehensiononmyface.“Youbickerlikesiblings.”
Siblings.
Itdidn’thitmeuntilthatmoment.I’dknownAndreaswasmybrother,buthewasmybrother.Areal,albeitannoying,oneIsawregularly.Wearguedallthetime,butmaybethatwasjustwhatsiblingsdid,likeBridgetsaid.
Iwouldn’tknow.I’dbeenaloneallmylife…untilnow.
Mystomachswoopedwiththeoddestsensation.
“Istilldon’ttrusthimfully,”Isaid.Cynicismwashard-wiredintomyDNA,andwhileAndreashadn’tdoneanythingshadysinceIconfrontedhimaboutbeingmybrother,it’donlybeentwomonths.
“NeitherdoI,butlet’sstickwithoptimismfornow.Besides,it’llbeniceforyoutohaveabrotherhere.EvenifIwishhewereless…”
“Andreas-y?”
Bridgetlaughed.“Yes.”
“Hmm.We’llsee.”
Idrewhercloserandkissedherforehead.IcouldhearBooth’sfootballgameintheden,andourtakeoutcontainerslayscatteredonthekitchenislandalongwithAndreas’semptywhiskeyglassandtherumpleddiagramhe’ddrawnforme.
Itdidn’tlooklikearoyalgathering.ItlookedlikeanormalWednesdaynightathome.
AndasBridgetwrappedherarmsaroundmywaistandAndreasreturned,grumblingaboutadelayedbachelortriptoSantorini,Ifinallyidentifiedtheoddsensationgrippingme.
Itwasthefeelingofhavingafamily.51Rhys
Threemonthslater
“Rhys!”Luciana’sfacecreasedintoahugesmile.“Comoestas?”ShelookedBridgetoverwithatwinkleinhereye,andwhenshespokenext,herwordsheldateasingnote.“Estunovia?”
IlaughedandtangledmyfingerswithBridget’s.“Si,esminovia.”
“Iknewit!”Lucianasaidwithdelight.“Finally.Come,come.Ihavefoodforyou.”
Sheusheredustothesametablewe’dsatatduringourlasttriptoCostaRica.Icouldn’tbelievethathadonlybeenayearago.Somuchhadchangedsincethen.
Hell,somuchhadchangedinthepastthreemonthsalone.BridgetandIcouldfinallyenjoybeingtogether,evenaspreparationsforhercoronationrampedupandIslowlyacclimatedtothespotlight.Ididn’tenjoytheattention,butIwasmorecomfortablewithit,andthatwasthebestIcouldhopefor.
“Thiswasagoodidea.”BridgetsighedwithhappinesswhenLucianabroughtoutafeastofmeatandrice.“Ineededavacation.”
Ismirked.“Ialwayshavegoodideas.”
Bridgethadn’twantedtogoonatripuntilafterhercoronation,butIcouldtellshewasbucklingunderthestress.Sheneededagetawaytoreset.Plus,mymouthcouldbeprettydamnpersuasive,especiallywhenIuseditforpurposesotherthantalking.
Itwasourfirstvacationasanofficialcouple,andI’dchosenCostaRicanotonlyforsentimentalpurposesbutbecausenooneintownkneworcaredBridgetwasaprincess.Evenafteralltherecentpresscoverage,theytreatedherastheywouldanyoneelse—warmandfriendly,sometimesinquisitive,butneverprying.
“Fivedaysinparadise,”Idrawled.“Swimming,sunbathing,fucking—”
“Rhys.”
“What,youdon’tliketheitinerary?”
“Loweryourvoice,”shehissed,herfacethecolorofthetomatoesonherplate.“Peoplewillhear.”
“Noone’slistening.”
Weweretheonlyonesonthetrip.NoBooth,noentourage.Ittookahelluvalotofconvincing,butthepalacefinallyagreedtomyplan.IwasstillqualifiedtoguardBridget,evenifIwasnolongerofficiallyemployedinthatcapacity.
SinceIquitworkingforChristian,I’dtakenonafewfreelancesecurityconsultinggigs.Ididn’tneedthemoney—HarperSecurityhadpaidverywell,andIwasn’tabigspender—butI’dgooutofmymindwithboredomifIdidn’thavesomethingtooccupymydays.
“Youdon’tknowthat.”Bridgettuckedastrandofhairbehindherear.Sheworeatanktopandshorts,andherskinalreadyglowedfromthesun.Nomakeuporfancyclothes,andshewasstillthemostbeautifulsightI’deverseen.“Peoplecoulddefinitelybelistening.”
“Trustme.Iknow.”Theclosestpeopletoussatthreetablesover,theireyesgluedtothesoccergameonTV.“Eveniftheyare,ain’tnothingwrongwithfuck—”
“Rhys.”
Ichuckledbutstoppedtryingtogetariseoutofherlestherfaceexplodefromembarrassment.ItneverfailedtoamazemehowprimBridgetwasinpubliccomparedtohowwildshewasinbed.Itmadeoursexevenhotter,knowingIgottoseeasideofhernooneelsedid.
Afterlunch,wewalkedaroundtownforabitbeforeIconvincedhertoreturntothevilla.
Icouldn’twaitmuchlonger.
“Ihaveasurpriseforyou,”Isaidaswedroveupthehill.Icouldn’tresistdroppingahint,andtalkingkeptmyfocusofftheknotofnervesinmystomach.
Iwasn’tusedtobeingnervous.
Bridgetperkedup.“Ilovesurprises.Whatisit?”
Ikeptonehandonthesteeringwheelandtwinedthefingersofmyotherhandwithhers.“Itwouldn’tbeasurpriseifItoldyou.”
“IlikesurprisesI’mpreparedfor,”shesaid.“Justahint?”
Ishookmyheadwithagrin.I’dbeendoingalotmoreofthatlately—grinning.
Somethinghadchangedoverthepastfewmonths.Thedark,heavycloudthat’dhungovermeallmylifehaddissipated.Itstillcamebacknowandthen,butsunnydayswerethedefaultnow,notthunderstorms.
Itwas…strange.Thedarknesshadbeenaprotectiveshield,andwithoutit,Ifeltstrippedbare.Defenseless,whichwasnotsomethingIeverwantedtofeel.Butinmomentslikethis,whenitwasjustmeandBridget,Ididn’tneeddefenses.She’dbrokenthroughallofthem,anyway.
“Hereweare.”Iparkedinfrontofthevilla.“Surprise.”
Bridgetlookedaroundslowly.“Okay…”Sheshotaconfusedglanceinmydirection.“Ihatetotellyouthis,butwe’vebeenherebefore,remember?Luggagedrop-offthismorning?Bucketlistnumberfour?”
“Trustme,that’snotsomethingI’lleverforget.”Mymouthquirkedupatthewarmrosecreepingoverhercheeks.“Butthat’snotthesurprise.Thisis.”Iheldupasetofkeys.“Iboughtthehouse.”
Hermouthfellopen.“What?”
“Mybuddywasthinkingofsellinganyway.Heandhisfamilyaremovingfurtherdownsouth.So,Iboughtit.”Ishrugged.
Wecouldstayinthenicesthotelsintheworld,butIwantedaplacethatbelongedtous.
“Rhys,youcan’t…”Bridget’seyesdartedtothevilla.“Really?”
“Yep.”Mygrinwidenedwhenshesquealedinadecidedlyunprincess-likemannerandjumpedoutofthecar.
“We’recominghereeveryyear!”sheyelledoverhershoulder.“Andweneedmorehammocks!”
Ifollowedherinside,alaughrumblingfrommychestasshevisitedeveryroomliketheywerelong-lostfriends.
Ilovedseeingherlikethis,wildandcarefree,herguarddownandherfacelitwithasmile.Arealone.
“Ilovethisplace.”Sheslidopentheglassdoortotheterraceandsighedwhenshesawthepool.“Perfection.”
“WhydoyouthinkIboughtit?”
Ateasingsparklebrightenedhereyes.“Rhys,areyouasecretromantic?”
“Idon’tknow.”Ireachedintomypocketandpulledoutasmallvelvetbox,theknotofnervesinmystomachdoubling.Bridgetsuckedinanaudiblebreath,butotherwiseeverythinghushed—thewind,thebirds,theroarofthePacificinthedistance.Itwasliketheentireworldhelditsbreath,waitingtoseewhathappenednext.“Youtellme.”
Iopenedthebox,revealingtheglitteringdiamondringthathadburnedaholeinthebackofmydresserdrawerfortwomonths.I’dwantedtowaituntiltheperfectmoment.Nowitwashere,andIfeltlikeaneighteen-year-oldwalkingintoNavytrainingforthefirsttimeagain,determinedbutscaredashellabouthowthenextchapterofmylifewouldunfold.
Aproposalwasinevitable.Iknewit,Bridgetknewit,theworldknewit.Butjustbecausesomethingwasinevitabledidn’tmeanitwasn’timportant,andthiswasthemostimportantmomentofmylife.
“I’mnotthebestatflowerylanguage,soI’llkeepitsimple.”Fuck,wasmyvoiceshaking?Ihopednot.“Ineverbelievedinlove.Neverwantedit.Ididn’tseethepracticalvalueand,tobehonest,Iwasdoingjustfinewithoutit.ButthenImetyou.Yoursmile,yourstrength,yourintelligenceandcompassion.Evenyourstubbornnessandhardheadedness.YoufilledapartofmysoulIalwaysthoughtwouldbeempty,andyouhealedscarsIneverknewexisted.AndIrealized…it’snotthatIdidn’tbelieveinlovebefore.It’sthatIwassavingitallforyou.”
AhalfsobbledthroughthehandpressedtoBridget’smouth.
Itookadeepbreath.“Bridget,willyoumarryme?”
Thequestionhadn’tfullyleftmymouthbeforeBridgetthrewherarmsaroundmeandkissedme.“Yes.Yes,yes,athousandtimesyes!”
Yes.Oneword,threeletters,anditfilledmeupsocompletelyIwassureI’dneverhungeragain.
Islippedtheringonherfinger.Itfitperfectly.
“There’snotakingitback,”Isaidgruffly,hopingshecouldn’thearthehitchinmyvoice.“You’rereallystuckwithmenow.”
Bridgetletoutanotherhalfsob,halflaugh.“Iwouldn’thaveitanyotherway,Mr.Larsen.”Shecurledherfingersaroundmine.“Youandme.”
Adeep,pleasurableachespreadinmychest,warmingmemorethanthelateafternoonsunevercould.
Ididn’tknowwhatI’ddonetodeserveher,butshewashere,shewasmine,andIwasneverlettinghergo.
“Youandme.”Icuppedherfaceandbrushedmylipsoverhers.“Always.”Epilogue
RHYS
Sixmonthslater
“DoyousolemnlypromiseandsweartogovernthePeopleofEldorraaccordingtotheirrespectivelawsandcustoms?”
“Isolemnlypromisesotodo.”Bridgetsatinthecoronationchair,herfacepalebutherhandsteadyontheKing’sBookasshetookherofficialoath.Hergrandfatherstoodbesideher,hisfacesolemnbutproud,andtherestofthecathedralwassoquietIcouldfeeltheweightoftheoccasionpressingintomyskin.
Aftermonthsofplanning,thebigdaywasfinallyhere.Inafewminutes,BridgetwouldbecrownedQueenofEldorra,andI,asherfiancé,wouldofficiallybethePrinceConsortinwaiting.
Itwasn’tsomethingI’deverdreamedoforthoughtIwanted,butIwouldfollowBridgetanywhere,fromthesmallest,shittiesttowntothegrandestchurch.AslongasIwaswithher,Iwashappy.
IstoodwithNikolai,Sabrina,Andreas,andtheothervonAschebergsinthefrontrow,closesttothecoronation.TheceremonytookplaceinthesprawlingAthenbergCathedral,whichwaspackedwiththousandsofhigh-profileguests.Headsofstate,foreignroyals,celebrities,billionaires,theywereallthere.
Iclaspedmyhandsinfrontofme,wishingthearchbishopwouldspeedthingsup.Ihadn’ttalkedtoBridgetallday,andIwasitchingtogettothecoronationballsowecouldhavesomealonetime.
“WillyoutoyourpowercauseLawandJustice,inMercy,tobeexecutedinallyourjudgments?”thearchbishopasked.
“Iwill.”
PrideseepedthroughmeatBridget’sstrong,clearvoice.
Shecompletedheroath,andacollectivehushfelloverthecathedralwhenthearchbishopliftedthecrownfromEdvard’sheadandplaceditonhers.
“HerMajestyQueenBridgetofEldorra,”thearchbishopdeclared.“Longmayshereign!”
“Longmayshereign!”Irepeatedthewordsalongwiththerestoftheguests,mychesttight.Besideme,Nikolaidippedhishead,hisfaceshiningwithemotion;nexttoBridget,Edvardstoodramrodstraight,hiseyessuspiciouslybright.
ThearchbishopfinishedtheceremonywithafewversesfromtheKing’sBook,anditwasdone.
Eldorraofficiallyhadanewruleranditsfirstfemalemonarchinoveracentury.
Alow,electrichumreplacedthehush.ItskitteredthroughthesoaringhallandovermyskinasBridgetrosefortheexitprocession;judgingbythewaytheotherguestsshiftedandmurmured,Iwasn’ttheonlyonewhofeltit.
Itwasthefeelingofwatchinghistorybeingmade.
IcaughtBridget’seyeduringherprocession,andIflashedheraquickgrinandawink.Hermouthcurvedintoasmilebeforeshetampeditdown,andIfoughtbackalaughatheroverlyseriousexpressionassheleftthechurch.
“Thatwasthelongestceremonyever.”Andreasyawned.“I’mgladIwasn’ttheonewhohadtositupthere.”
“Goodthingyou’llneversitupthere,then.”MyrelationshipwithAndreashaddevelopedintosomethingresemblinggenuinefriendshipoverthemonths,buthispersonalitystillleftalottobedesired.
Heshrugged.“C’estlavie.LetBridgetshouldertheburdenofanationwhileIlivelikeaprincewithnoneoftheresponsibilities.”
NikolaiandIexchangedglancesandshookourheads.WhileAndreasandInevermissedanopportunitytosneakadigattheother,IhadamucheasierrelationshipwithNikolai.Anotherbrother,albeitbymarriageratherthanblood,andIdidn’twanttomurderhimhalfthetime.
Aftertheformalexitprocession,theguestsfiledoutofthecathedral,andsoon,Ifoundmyselfinthepalaceballroom,impatientlywaitingforBridgettoarrive.
Onlyfivehundredpeoplereceivedinvitestothecoronationballcomparedtothethousandsattheceremony,butthatwasstilltoomanypeople.Allofthemwantedtoshakemyhandandsayhi,andIindulgedthemhalf-heartedlywhileeyeingthedoor.AtleastmylessonswithAndreascameinhandy—Irememberedeveryone’stitlesandgreetedthemaccordingly.
MypulsekickedupanotchwhentheSergeantatArms’announcementfinallyrangthroughtheballroom.“HerMajestyQueenBridgetofEldorra.”
Triumphalmusicplayed,thedoorsopened,andBridgetsweptin.Sheworealightergownthantheornateaffairshe’ddonnedfortheceremony,andshe’dreplacedhercrownwithamorewearabletiara.
Shewavedtothecrowd,herpublicsmilefirmlyinplace,butwhenoureyesmet,ahintofplayfulnesscreptin.
IexcusedmyselffrommyconversationwiththePrimeMinisterofSwedenandmademywaythroughthecrowd.Foronce,Ididn’tneedtousemyheightorbuild—everyonepartedwhentheysawmeapproaching.
TheperksofbeingthefuturePrinceConsort,Isupposed.
BythetimeIreachedBridget,shehadhalfadozenpeoplefightingforherattention.
“YourMajesty.”Iheldoutmyhand,cuttingoffawomanwho’dbeengushingoverherdress.Thecrowdfellsilent.“MayIhavethisdance?”
AgrinplayedatthecornersofBridget’smouth.“Ofcourse.Ladies,gentlemen,ifyou’llexcuseme.”
Shetookmyhand,andwewalkedawaywithsixpairsofeyesburningintous
Bridgetwaiteduntilwewereoutofearshotbeforesaying,“ThanktheLord.IfIhadtolistentoLadyFeathertoncomplimentmyoutfitonemoretime,Iwould’vestabbedmyselfwiththespikesfrommytiara.”
“Wecan’thavethat,canwe?Iverymuchlikeyoualive.”IrestedmyhandonthesmallofherbackasIguidedheracrossthedancefloor.“So,you’reofficiallyqueen.Howdoesitfeel?”
“Surreal,butalso…right.”Sheshookherhead.“Idon’tknowhowtoexplainit.”
“Iunderstand.”
Idid.Ifeltmuchthesameway.Iwasn’ttheonewho’dbeencrowned,ofcourse,butwe’dwaitedandplannedforsolongitwasstrangetohavetheceremonybehindus.We’dalsohadtimetogetusedtotheideaofBridgetbeingqueen,andnowthatshewas,itfeltright.
Wealwaysendupwherewe’remeanttobe.
“Iknowyoudo.”Bridget’seyesglowedwithemotionbeforeshemadeaface.“Ican’twanttogetoutofthisdress,though.It’snotasbadasmycoronationdress,butIswearitstillweighstenpounds.”
“Don’tworry.I’llripitoffyoulater.”Iloweredmyheadandwhispered,“I’veneverfuckedaqueenbefore.”
AchuckleroseinmythroatatthedeepblushspreadingoverBridget’sfaceandneck.
“DoIhavetostopcallingyouprincessnow?”Iasked.“Queendoesn’trolloffthetonguequiteasnice.”
Shenarrowedhereyes.“Don’tyoudare.Byroyaldecree,you’reneverallowedtostopcallingmeprincess.”
“Ithoughtyouhatedthenickname.”
Ispunheraround,andshewaiteduntilshewasinmyarmsagainbeforesaying,“AsmuchasyouhatewhenIcallyouMr.Larsen.”
Iusedto.Notanymore.
“Iwasjoking.”Mylipsgrazedherforehead.“You’llalwaysbemyprincess.”
Bridget’seyesshonebrighter.“Mr.Larsen,ifyoumakemecryatmyowncoronationball,I’llneverforgiveyou.”
Mysmilewidened,andIkissedher,notcaringifPDAwasagainstprotocol.“Thenit’sagoodthingIhavetherestofourlivestomakeituptoyou.”
***
BRIDGET
Threemonthsaftermycoronation,RhysandIreturnedtotheAthenbergCathedralforourwedding.
Itwasasgrandandluxuriousasonewouldexpectofaroyalwedding,butIworkedwithFreja,thenewcommunicationssecretary,tokeepthereceptionassmallaspossible.Asqueen,Icouldn’thaveafriends-and-family-onlypartyfordiplomaticreasons,butwecuttheguestlistfromtwothousandtotwohundred.Iconsideredthatamajorvictory.
“I’mjealous,”Nikolaisaid.“Youonlyhavetwohundredpeopletogreet.Myhandsnearlyfelloffatmyreception.”
Ilaughed.“Yousurvived.”
Westoodnearthedesserttablewhiletherestoftheguestsate,drank,anddanced.Theactualweddingceremonyhadgoneoffwithoutahitch,andasmuchasIenjoyedseeingmyfriendsandfamilyletloose,IwascountingdowntheminutesuntilIcouldbealonewithRhys,whowascurrentlytalkingtoChristianandafewofhisfriendsfromtheNavy.
Hehadn’texpectedhismilitarybuddiestocome,sincehehadn’tspokentotheminsolong,butthey’dallshowedup.Whateverworrieshemight’vehadaboutseeingthemagain,theyseemedtohavedisappeared.Rhyswassmilingandlaughingandlookedperfectlyatpeace.
“Barely,”Nikolaijokedbeforehissmilefaded.“I’mgladthingsworkedoutforyouandRhys,”headdedsoftly.“Youdeserveit.WhenIabdicated,Ididn’tthink…Ineverwantedtoputthatkindofpressureonyou.AndwhenIrealizedwhatitmeant…whatyouhadtogiveup…”
“It’sokay.”Isqueezedhishand.“Youdidwhatyouhadtodo.Iwasupsetwhenyoufirsttoldme,butitallworkedout,andIenjoybeingqueen…forthemostpart.EspeciallynowthatErhallisnolongerSpeaker.”
Erhallhadlosthisseatbyhalfapoint.I’dbelyingifIsaidthenewshadn’tgivenmeimmensepleasure.
Ihad,however,worriedNikolaiwouldbeupsetorjealousabouttherepeal.WouldhebebitterIgottostaywithRhysandkeepthecrown?Buthe’dbeennothingbutsupportive,andhe’dadmittedheenjoyedhisnewlifemorethanhe’dexpected.Ithinkpartofhimwasactuallyrelieved.
Nikolaihadgrownupthinkinghewantedthethronebecausehedidn’thaveachoicetonotwantit,andnowthathewasfreedfromthoseexpectations,hewasthriving.Meanwhile,I’dtakenupthemantleandgrownintotherole.
Ironic,thewaythingsturnedout.
“Yes,hewasabitofatoad,wasn’the?”Nikolaigrinnedandglancedovermyshoulder.“Ah,itseemsmytimeisup.I’lltalktoyoulater.IneedtosaveSabrinabeforeGrandfatherforceshertonameourbabySigmundafterourgreat-great-uncle.”Hehesitated.“Areyouhappy,Bridget?”
Isqueezedhishandagain,amessyclogofemotiontanglinginmythroat.“Iam.”
DidIfeelliketheweightoftheworldwasonmyshoulderssometimes?Yes.DidIgetangry,frustrated,andstressed?Yes.Butsodidalotofpeople.Theimportantthingwas,Inolongerfelttrapped.I’dlearnedtomastermycircumstancesinsteadoflettingthemmasterme,andIhadRhysbymyside.NomatterhowterribleofadayIhad,IcouldgohometosomeoneIlovedwholovedmeback,andthatmadeallthedifference.
Nikolaimust’veheardthesincerityinmyvoice,becausehisfacerelaxed.“Good.That’sallIneedtoknow.”Hekissedmycheekbeforehebeelinedtowhereafive-months-pregnantSabrinasatwithourgrandfather,who’dspenthispost-rulingdaysfussingoverhisfuturegreat-grandchildandtryingtofindasuitablehobbytofillhistime.
EdvardhadforcedRhystoteachhimhowtodrawforafewweeksbeforeitbecameclearhistalentsdidnotlieintheartisticrealm.He’dsincemovedontoarchery,andI’dhadtoaddahazardpaybonusforthestaffaccompanyinghimtopractice.
IturnedtoseewhathadmadeNikolaileave,andmyfacebrokeintoasmilewhenIsawRhysapproaching.
“Longtimenosee,”Iteased.We’donlyhadonedancetogetherbeforewewerepulledawaybyvariousfriendsandfamily.
“Don’tremindme.Myownwedding,andIbarelyseemywife,”hegrumbled,buthisfrowneasedwhenhedrewmeintohisarms.“Weshould’veeloped.”
“Thepalacewould’vehadsomethingtosayaboutthat.”
“Fuckthepalace.”
Istifledalaugh.“Rhys,youcan’tsaythat.You’rethePrinceConsortnow.”TheKingConsorttitledidn’texistinEldorra,soeventhoughIwasthequeen,hewascalledthePrinceConsort.
“WhichmeansIcansayitevenmorethanbefore.”Rhysgrazedmyjawwithhislips,andgoosebumpsofpleasuredottedmyarms.“SpeakingofPrinceConsort…whatbenefitscomewiththeposition?”
“Um.”Itriedtothinkthroughthefoginmyheadashecaressedthenapeofmyneck.“Acrown,alovelyroominthepalace,medicalbenefits…”
“Boring.Boring.Evenmoreboring.”
Ilaughed.“Whatdoyouwantthen?”
Rhysliftedhishead,hiseyesgleaming.“Iwanttobend—”
“Higuys,I’msosorryforinterrupting.”Avaappearedbesideus.Shelookedlovelyinhermintgreenbridesmaiddress,butherfacewasetchedwithconcern.“HaveyouseenJulesandJosh?Ican’tfindthemanywhere.”
“She’safraidthey’vemurderedeachother,”Alexadded,comingupbehindher.
Avarolledhereyes.“You’reexaggerating.”
“Notbymuch.IsawJuleswithaknifeearlier.”
“Ihopetheyhaven’t.Badpressifthere’samurderatmywedding,”Ijoked.“Butno,Ihaven’tseenthem.Sorry.”
Still,Isweptmyeyesaroundtheroomjustincase.
Booth,whomI’dinsistedattendasaguestinsteadofaguard,wasdeepinconversationwithhiswifeandEmma,who’dflowninafewdaysagosowecouldcatchupbeforethewedding.Apparently,she’dgottenmoreattachedtoMeadow’scuddlinessandLeather’sfoulmouththanexpected,andshe’dadoptedbothfromtheshelter.Iwasdelighted,especiallywhenEmmapromisedtosendmepicturesandvideosofthemoften.
SteffanwasdancingwithMalin.I’dcalledhimaftermypressconferencetoapologizefornotgivinghimaheadsup,buthehadn’tbeenupsetatall.Hesaidit’dgivenhimthecouragetostanduptohisfather,andconsideringhewasattendingthemostpublicizedeventoftheyearwithMalin,itmust’veallworkedout.
Christianstoodintheshadows,chattingwithAndreas,buthiseyesstrayedtosomething—someone—onthedancefloor.IfollowedhisgazeandwincedwhenIsawStella.
That’snotgood.OrmaybeIwasreadingtoomuchintothesituation.
EvenMikaelawasinattendance,hangingoutwithsomeofouroldschoolfriends.I’dinvitedherasanolivebranch,butitwouldtakeawhilebeforeItrustedheragain.
Almosteveryonewhoplayedamajorroleinmylifewasthere…exceptJulesandJosh.
“Ihaven’tseenthemeither,”Rhyssaid.
Avasighed.“Thanks.Ijustwantedtocheck.Sorryforbotheringyou,andcongratsagain!”ShedraggedAlexaway,probablytolookforherbrotherandJules,eventhoughAlexlookedlikehewouldrathereatnails.
“Well,thatruinedthemood,”Rhyssaiddryly.“Wecan’tevenhaveaconversationwithoutgettinginterrupted.”
“Perhapsweshouldwaituntilafterthereceptionbecausethat’llkeephappening.IalreadyseeFrejacomingtowardus.Unless…”Iloweredmyvoice,asparkofmischiefkindlinginsideme.“Wehide.”
Westaredateachotherforabeatbeforeaslowsmilespreadacrosshisface.“Ilikethewayyouthink,princess.”
Rhysleftfirst,slippingoutundertheauspicesofusingtherestroom,andIfollowedsoonafter.Wecouldn’tbegonelong,butwecouldstealafewmomentsforourselves.
“YourMajesty!”FrejacalledasIpassedher.“Whereareyougoing?Weneedtodiscuss—”
“Ladies’room.I’llbeback.”IquickenedmystepsandcontainedmylaughteruntilIreachedthesmalldrawingroomwhereRhyswaswaiting.
“It’slikewe’resneakingaroundagain.”Ishutthedoorbehindme,myheartracingwiththetwinthrillsoffinallybeingalonewithhimanddoingsomethingweweren’tsupposedtodo.
“Justlikeoldtimes,”hedrawled.Thelightswereoff,butenoughmoonlightfilteredthroughthecurtainsformetoseethecarvedplanesofhisfaceandthetenderheatinhiseyes.
“So,tellme.”Iloopedmyarmsaroundhisneck.“Wasthiswhereyouexpectedtoendupasakid?Hidinginaroyaldrawingroomwithyourwifeonthenightofyourwedding?”
“Notexactly.”Rhysbrushedhisthumbovermybottomlip.“Butsomeoneoncetoldmewealwaysendupwherewe’remeanttobe,andthisiswhereI’mmeanttobe.Withyou.”
Forgetbutterflies.Anentireflockofbirdstookflightinmystomach,soaringintothecloudsandtakingmewiththem.“Mr.Larsen,Idobelieveyou’reasecretromanticafterall.”
“Don’ttellanyone.”Hecuppedmyassandsqueezed.“OrI’llhavetospankyouagain.”
Ichokedoutalaughrightbeforehismouthcrasheddownonmineandeverythingelse—Freja,thereception,thehundredsofpeoplegatheredintheballroomjustafewdoorsdown—ceasedtoexist.
Kidnapping,blackmail,betrayal…ourpathtowherewewerenowwasanythingbutconventional.Iwasn’tastorybookprincess,andRhyswasn’tPrinceCharming.
Ididn’twantustobe.
Becausewhilewhatwehadwasn’tatraditionalfairytalebyanymeans,itwasours.Anditwasforever.
THEEND
Hehatesher…almostasmuchashewantsher.PreorderTwistedHatenowforasteamyenemiestoloversromancefeaturingJoshandJules.
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ThankyoutoeveryoneforreadingBridgetandRhys’sstory!Thiscouplehasconsumedmeformonths,andnowthatthey’refinallyoutintheworld,IhopeyoulovethemasmuchasIdo!
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TomyalphaandbetareadersBrittney,Brittany(withana),Yaneli,Sarah,Rebecca,Aishah,andAllisynforyourconstructivefeedback.Youhelpedmakethestoryshine,andIamsogratefulforyourhonestyandattentiontodetail.
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xo,AnaAbouttheAuthor
AnaHuangisanauthorofprimarilysteamyNewAdultandcontemporaryromance.Herbookscontaindiversecharactersandemotional,sometimestwistyroadstowardHEAs(withplentyofbanterandspicesprinkledin).Besidesreadingandwriting,Analovestraveling,isobsessedwithhotchocolate,andhasmultiplerelationshipswithfictionalboyfriends.
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