underthestars
CottonwoodCove~Book2laurapavlovToallthedreamerswhobeattotheirowndrum…
Keepdreamingmyfriends.Weonlygetonechanceatthislife,so,danceinthecloset,singintherainandembraceeverythingthatmakesyouunique.
Thebrightestlightswerenevermeanttobedimmed.
Theyweremeanttolightuptheroom.
Hugs&Love,Lauracopyright
UndertheStars
CottonwoodCove,Book2
Copyright?2023byLauraPavlov
Allrightsreserved.
Nopartofthisbookmaybereproducedortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans,electronicormechanical,includingphotocopying,recording,orbyanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystemwithoutthewrittenpermissionoftheauthor,exceptfortheuseofbriefquotationsinabookreview.
Thisisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,brands,media,andincidentsareeithertheproductoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously.Anyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,events,orlocalesisentirelycoincidental.
LauraPavlov
https://www.laurapavlov.com
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CoverPhotography:MadisonMaltby
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UndertheStarscontainsmaturecontentthatmaynotbesuitableforallaudiences.Clickthelinkbelowforcontentwarnings.
contentwarningscontents
Chapter1
Chapter2
Chapter3
Chapter4
Chapter5
Chapter6
Chapter7
Chapter8
Chapter9
Chapter10
Chapter11
Chapter12
Chapter13
Chapter14
Chapter15
Chapter16
Chapter17
Chapter18
Chapter19
Chapter20
Chapter21
Chapter22
Chapter23
Chapter24
Chapter25
Chapter26
Chapter27
Chapter28
Chapter29
Chapter30
Chapter31
Chapter32
Chapter33
Chapter34
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
KeepUpOnNewReleases
OtherBooksbyLauraPavlov
FollowMeoneGeorgia
Nomoredirtbags.
I’mofficiallyclosedforbusiness.
Nowandforever.
Imadethissilentpromisetomyselfasmyhandsgrippedthesteeringwheel,snowflakesfallingfromtheskyandsplatteringacrossthewindshieldasIwatchedtheroadinfrontofme.
“Icursethegroundyouwalkon,DikotaSmith,”Ihissedtomyself.
HewasthereasonIwaseveninthiscurrentsituationwhereI’dneededtolietomyfamilyandborrowacarfrommybrother’sfiancée.
Myex-boyfriendbroughtthetermdouchebagtoanall-newlow.
IwasgratefulthatLilahadloanedmehercartotaketomyinterview,asitwasfreezinginCottonwoodCovetoday,andIdidnotwanttowalk.
Ihadn’ttoldmyfamilythetruthaboutmycarbecauseIknewmysiblingswouldlosetheirminds,andmyparentswouldbeupset—I’dhavetofiguresomethingoutinthemeantime.
I’dwaithimoutandhopethatthemorallychallengeddickweaselwouldcometohissensesandnoonewouldbethewiser.
I’dputDikotainmyrearview,andthatwasexactlywhereIintendedtokeephim—justassoonasIgotmycarback.
Todaywasafreshstart.Anewbeginning.
AndIwashereforit.
Mymomhadtakenmeshoppingforanewoutfitformyinterview,whichshe’ddeemedagraduationgift,asI’djustwalkedatmycommencementceremonylessthanaweekago.
Thetownwassofestivethistimeofyear.IdrovedownMainStreet,wherelightswerestrungaroundeverylightpost,andtheyzigzaggedoverheaddownthelengthoftheentirestreet.Daylightdidnotdothemjustice.I’dbeendowntownlastnighthavingdinnerwithfriends,andithadbeenalllitupandlookedlikeawinterwonderland.CottonwoodCovewasnotonlymyhome,itwasmyhappyplace.
LancasterPresshadmovedintothelargethree-storybrickbuildingnotfarfrommybrother’srestaurant,Reynolds’,afewmonthsago.IwasinterviewingforapersonalassistantpositionforMaddoxLancaster,whowasthepresidentofthecompany.
I’dheardthathewasanintimidatingrichguy,abitofaplayboy,andarecentresidentofmyhometown.Apparently,they’dmovedthebusinessoutofthecity,andhe’dboughtoneofthelargespechomesintown.Everyonewastalkingaboutit.Small-towngossipandallthat.Yeah,itwasarealthing.
Personally,Ididn’tknowthatthiswastherightcareerpathforme,butIneededajob,seeingasIwastemporarilyhomelessandcarless.
Yes,Ihadaflairforthedramatics
Obviously,Ihadarockstarfamily,andIcouldborrowacarfrommyparentsoranyofmyfoursiblings,andIwasn’ttechnicallyhomeless,asIwascurrentlylivingwithmybrotherHughandhisfiancée,Lila.ButIwantedtoprovethatIcoulddothingsonmyown.Beingtheyoungestoffivekidswhenallyouroldersiblingswereabsolutewinnerswasn’talwayseasywhenyouweren’tsurewhatyouwantedtodowithyourlife.
So,firstthingsfirst.
Getajob.
Getmyownplace.
Andgetmycarback.
I’dalreadymadeitpasttheinitialscreeningwithhumanresources,whichwe’ddoneremotelyviaaZoommeeting.ButthefinaldecisionwouldbeuptoMaddoxLancaster.
Ipulledinbehindthebuildingandglancedinthemirroronelasttimebeforedabbingonalittlebitofpinklipgloss.Iopenedthecardoorandsteppedoutside,wishingI’dlistenedtomymother,who’dinsistedIweartightsbeneathmyskirt.I’drefusedbecauseIwasalreadywearingthiswinter-whitesuitwithapencilskirtandblazerwithgoldbuttons.Ilovedit,butIwantedtokeepthingsyouthful.Iwastwenty-twoyearsold,afterall.So,I’dpaireditwithsometanheeledbooties,whichLilathoughtlookedadorable,eventhoughmymotherhadinsistedIwearmynudeheels.
Listen,Iwasapplyingtobeapersonalassistant,notarocketscientist.Andtheoutfitwasalreadyprettyformalforme.So,thebootiesandallthebanglesonmywristmadeitfeelmorelikeme.
I’dcallthislookhipster-bossbabechic.
WhenIpulledtheofficedooropen,Iimmediatelyrecognizedthewomansittingbehindthedesk.
“Hi,Virginia.Ididn’tknowyouwereworkinghere.”
Shelookedup,andawidegrinspreadacrossherface.“Iwasthrilledtoseeyouonthecalendar,Georgia.I’vebeenworkingheresincetheyopenedthedoors.Ihopeyougetthejobbecauseit’salittleintensearoundhere,”shewhispered.“IfyouknowwhatImean.”
Theentrywaywasprettygrand,withtwoblackleathercouches,andtherewereframedbookcovershangingonthewalls.Graystainedconcretecoveredtheexpansivefloors,andexposedbrickranfromthefloortotheceilingupthewallbehindthefrontdesk.
“Really?Didalotofpeoplemoveherefromthecitywhenthecompanyrelocated?Oraretheemployeesmostlynewhires?”
“Yes.It’sagoodmixofboth.Butluckyforme,theofficemanagerdidnotwanttomoveherefromthecity.”Sheglancedaround,makingsurenoonewaslisteningbeforecuppingherhandsoverhermouthandwhisper-shouting.“Thebigguycanbeabitintimidating,andhe’salreadygonethroughthreePAssinceweopenedthedoors.Apparently,heisn’teasytoworkfor.ButIinterviewedwiththeman,andwhew,”shesaid,fanningherface.“Heisalooker.He’skindofterrifying,andIhaven’tseenhimsmileyet,butaslongasyoudoyourjob,he’llleaveyoualone.He’sallbusiness.Andhe’scurrentlyinterviewingJoeyBurnsforthepositionthatyou’reapplyingforrightnow.”
You’vegottoloveCottonwoodCoveifnotjustforthesheerfactthatyoucangetthelowdownoneverythinggoingoninamatterofminutes.
“JoeyBurns?”Iasked.Igrewupwiththeguy,whoIoftenreferredtoasPufftheMagicDragon.Hewasapot-smokingskater.
“Theoneandonly.”
“Whywouldhewanttobetheassistanttothepresidentofapublishinghouse?”Ileanedoverhertalldesk,peeringaroundthedecorativebrick,seeingpeoplebuzzingaround.Theofficehadaverycoolvibe.Glasswallsframedindividualworkspacesfromthefloortotheceiling,withadeskandsomeshelvesinsideeachone.Therewereironstairsthatranalongthesidewall,leadinguptothesecondlevel.
“WordonthestreetisthatJoeywasresponsibleforthatfireathisparents’houselastmonth.Apparently,someonewastoohightoputouthisowndoobie,orfatty,orwhateveryoukidsarecallingamarijuanacigarettethesedays.”Sheshookherheadwithdisgust,andItriednottolaugh.Shewasinhermid-sixties,alwaysdressedincolorfulclothing,andherdarkhairwascroppedshort,showingoffherbighoopearrings.“Hisparentshavekickedhimout,andhe’slivingwithhisbrothernow,soIguessit’stimeforhimtoputonhisbig-boypantsandgetajob.”
“Anyoneelseapplyingforthegig?”Iasked,asIlookeduptoseefeetdescendingfromthestairs.TherewasonepairofVanswithsomedarkskinnyjeans,andthentherewasapairofblackloaferswithblackdressslacksendingjustattheankle,exposingasliveroffancysocks.
IfeltconfidentthatIcouldbeatoutJoeyforthisposition,whohadmostlikelygreetedthemaninterviewinghimbycallinghimDude.Thekidsufferedfromchronicredeyes,andhisfavoritewordhadalwaysbeen,whoa,withdudefollowinginaclosesecondplace.
“AliciaRogersalsoappliedfortheposition.Shewashereyesterday.Thatwomanstillhasastickupherass,though,youknow?Iprayshedoesn’tbeatyouout.”
Twosetsoflegscontinuedtoappearinmyperipheral.Joey’sheadwasalreadymakingitswaydownthesteps,buttheothermanmustbetallbecausehewasstillalllegsandtorso.
IglancedbackatVirginiawithagroan.“Thatwomanhadmearrestedfording-dongditchingwhenIwasinhighschool.Shehasabadcaseofrestingbitchface,andherfrozen,unmovingeyebrowstotallyfreakmeout.”
Imean,therewasgoodBotoxandthentherewasBotoxgonebad.Aliciarepresentedthelatter.
“Irememberthatarrestscandal.ButBugsdidn’tholdyoudownatthestationlong,didhe?”
Ichuckled.MaxBugster,a.k.a.Bugs,hadgonetoschoolwithmyoldestbrotherCage,andhe’dtakenmeinhissquadcarforicecreamaswelaughedourbuttsoffaboutawomancallingthecopsbecauseateenagerrangherdoorbellandran.
“Nope,hedidn’t.Andjustthinkingaboutitkindofmakesmewanttoding-dongditchhertonight,”Isaid.
“Callmeifyoudoit.Imaybeold,butI’dbehappytodrivethegetawaycar.”
Icoveredmymouthtokeepfrombellowingoutinlaughter.IlovedVirginiaHawkson.Sheliveddownthestreetfrommyparentsandhadalwaysbeenacharacter,tosaytheleast.
Butmylaughterhaltedasbothmencameintofocuswhentheyhitthegroundfloorandwalkedinmydirection.
Andholyhotpresident.
Thismanwassomething.
MymouthwentdryasItookhiminashestrodebesideJoey,whowasholdingaskateboardunderhisarm.
MaddoxLancasterwasimpossibletolookawayfrom.Hehadtobesomewherearoundmybrothers’height,andallthreeofthemwerefairlytall.I’dguesshimtobeagoodsixfoot,threeinches.Hisbrowneyeslockedwithmine.
Dark.
Deep.
Mysterious.
Hishairwasdarkandstyledinawaythatmadeitlookeffortless.Jawchiseled,shouldersbroad,andhedidn’tlookpleasedasheapproachedthedesk.
“Whoa,Dude.IsthatGeorgiaReynolds?”Joeysaidwithabigsmileonhisface.
“Hey,Joey.Howareyou?”
“Well,Ijustgotscoldedforcomingtoaninterviewhigh,sothere’sthat.But,Iamhigh,sothere’sthat.”Hewinkedashisheadfellbackinlaughter.“ButIdon’tthinkthebossherewastooimpressed.Iprobsdidn’tgetthegig,didI?”
Heturnedtolookatthemanbesidehim,whomadenoattempttohidehisannoyance,andVirginiabrokeoutinafitofgiggles.IbitdownhardonmybottomliptokeepfromlaughingwhenBossman’sgazelockedwithmine.
“It’ssafetosayyouwon’tbereturning,Joey,”hesaid,hisvoicedeepandlackinganyhumor.“YoumustbeMs.Reynolds.”
Inodded,butbeforeIcouldextendmyhand,hebarkedatme.
“I’mMaddoxLancaster.Followme.”
IwidenedmyeyesasIglancedonelasttimeatVirginia,givingaquickwavetoJoeyasIfollowedthemanupthestairs.Myfeetclickedagainsteachofthemetalsteps,andhelookedoverhisshoulder,andhiseyesmoveddownmylegstomybootiesinadisapprovingscowl.
Damn.Mymomwasalwaysright.Ishouldhaveworntheheels.
Whenwegottothetopofthestairs,hewalkeddownthehallway,withmedoingmybesttokeepup.Theofficesupstairswerenotopenwithglasswalls.TherewerefiveofficesfromwhatIcouldseeonthislevel,andtheonlyglasswallappearedtobelongtoaconferenceroomwithatablethatlookedlikeithadseatingforfifteentotwentypeople.
Hecametoastopatthelastdoorattheendofthelonghallway,andhemotionedformetoenter.
“Takeaseat,”hesaid,histoneascoldashiseyes,whichweresodark,theyalmostlookedblack.Hemovedaroundthedeskandsatintheleatherchairacrossfromme.Hetypedsomethingintohiscomputerandthenlookeduptomeetmygaze.“I’mhopingyouaren’tgoingtooffermeagummytotaketheedgeoff.”
Ichuckled,eventhoughhewasn’tsmiling.“Nope.Nogummieshere.Justarésumé.”
IreachedintothebriefcasethatLilahadloanedmeandpulledoutthepeach-coloredpaperthathadlightcreamflowersinthebackground,andIhandeditovertohim.
Heraisedhisbrows.“Yourrésuméisfloral?”
“Soismypersonality,”Isangout,butgrumpyBossmandidnotsmileorchuckle.Ididnoticehislipstwitchabitbeforehestraightened.
“I’mnotlookingforabigpersonality,Ms.Reynolds.I’mlookingforapersonwhocangetthejobdone.I’mabusyman.Idon’thavetimeforridiculousanticslikecomingstonedtoanintervieworthewomanyesterdaywhobad-mouthedmyemployeewhogreetedher.”Heleanedbackandfoldedhishandsonthedesk,hisgazeboringintome.Icrossedmyarmsovermychest.Ifhethoughthewasgoingtointimidateme,hewasmistaken.Ihadthreebrothers,myoldestbrotherbeingagigantic,grumpythorninmyside,soIdidn’tscareeasily.ButIwaspleasedtohearthatAliciaRogershadshownhertruecolorssoquickly.Mycompetitionwasweak,andIwasnotsorryaboutit.
“Well,I’mcertainlynothigh,andIwon’tbetalkingaboutVirginia,becauseIhappentobeabigfan.I’mheretotellyouwhyI’mthebestpersonforthejob,sopreparetobedazzled,Mr.Lancaster.”Ileanedforwardinmychairandintertwinedmyfingerstogether,restingthemonmylap.
Iglancedaroundathowsterilehisofficewas.TherewasadegreefromHarvardhangingonthewall.Shocker.HereekedofIvyLeaguesuperiority.ImaynothaveattendedanIvyLeaguecollege,butIhadmorelifeexperiencethanmost.IlivedthatYOLO—youonlyliveonce—lifebetterthananyoneIknew
“Notlookingtobedazzled,”hegrumpedasheglanceddownatmyrésumé.“Iseeyourecentlygraduatedfromcollege.Youwereanartmajor?”
“Imajoredinarthistoryandminoredinbusiness.Thisisapublishingcompany,soIfeelconfidentthatI’dbringgreatvaluetothispositionwiththecombinationofskillsthatmyeducationaffordedme.”
Heclearedhisthroatashereadfurtherdownmyrésumé,hisbrowsfurrowingwhenhegottothebottom.“Howdoesbeingtalentedatunusualsportsbringvaluetotheposition?Howdidthatevenmakeitasabulletpointonyourrésumé?”
Ismiled.“Thankyouforbringingthatup.I’mhappytotellyou.Youknowhowmostpeopleshineatfootballorsoccerorswimming?”
Heraisedabrow.“Okay…”
“Idon’t.Ihavefoursiblingsthatwereallprettyamazingateverytraditionalsport.Icouldneverbeatthematanythingbackthenbecausetheywereolderandfaster.”
“Isthereapointtothisstory?”heasked,hisvoicedryandlackinganyhumor.
“Iknow.You’reanxious.Igetit.”Ishrugged.“Mypointis…Ihadtoberesourceful.IhadtofindsomethingthatIcouldbethebestat.Andgofigure,Iwasafreakingrockstaratunusualsports.”
Heranahanddownhisfaceandthenlookedupatmelikehewastornbetweenkickingmeoutofhisofficeandaskingmetotellhimmore.“Whatsports?”
“Badminton.Let’sjustsay,myhighschoolPEteachersaidIcouldpursueplayingcollegiately,butIdidn’tfeelapassionforit.”
“Gofigure.Youdidn’tfeelmovedbytheshuttlecock?”Heraisedabrow,andIswearhislipsturnedupinthecornersjusttheslightestbit.
“Ah,you’refamiliarwithit.Nope.Itjustwasn’tsomethingIwantedtopursuefulltime.So,incollege,Ijoinedapickleballleague,andI’mproudtosaythatIwasthecountychamplastyear.”
“Pickleball?Whowereyouplaying?Isn’tthatanelderlysport?”
Irolledmyeyes.“Doyourresearchbeforeyouoffendmeandtheamazingsportyou’rereferringto,please.Pickleballisopentoallages.AndIwonthegold,whichleadsmetomypoint.”
SowhatifafewofthepeopleIbeatusedcanesonthecourtsandhadtochuganEnsuretohavetheenergytogooneroundwithme?
Awinisawin.
“Areyougoingtomakesaidpointtoday?”Hisgazenarrowed.
“I’madaptable.Icanfigureanythingoutandmakeitwork.Icanfindtalentwherenooneelseseesit.”
“Youaren’tapplyingforajobasaneditor.You’reapplyingforajobtobemyassistant.Andthetalentissittingrightinfrontofyou.”
“Ifyousayso,Bossman.”Ismirked.Hewasusedtointimidatingpeople,anditwasimportantthatheknewitwouldn’tworkonme.Yes,Iwantedthejob.ButIalsohadmydignity.“I’mahardworker,I’mwillingtolearn,andI’lldowhateverIneedtodotogetthisjob.”
Ileanedbackinmychairandraisedabrow.
Theshuttlecockwasinhiscourt.twoMaddox
WasIinsomesortofalternateuniverse?First,Igetmovedtothisgodforsakentowntoopenanofficehereafewmonthsago,permygrandfather’sinsistence.Manyofouremployeeswerenowworkingremotely,sohedidn’tfeeltheneedtohavesuchalargeofficeinthecity.Financially,thiswasawisemove.SanFranciscoisoutrageouslyexpensive.So,withmybrotherofftherailsatthemoment,andmydickheadfathervacationinginEuropewhilehepretendedtorunourrealestatecompany,IwassenttoCottonwoodCove.
I’djustexperiencedasecondhandhighfromthestonerkidwho’daskedmeifIwantedtocomeoverlatertoplayvideogameswithhimandgetlit.
Hiswords,notmine.
Ididn’tmindleavingthecityandthetrafficbehind,butIneededagoodteamaroundmetomakethiswork.Myfatherhadfailedatthehelmtheselastfewyears,andmygrandfatherwaslookingtometobringsomelifebackintothispublishinghouse.Thiscompanyhadbeenhisbaby,hisprideandjoy,andhispassion.Sure,hewasoneofthelargestrealestatemogulsinthecountry,butLancasterPresshadbeenoneofthelongest-standingpubhousesintheworld,evenifournumberswereatanall-timelow,andwehadn’tsignedabigauthorinquiteawhile.So,mygrandfathershiftedmyfatherintotherealestatebusinessandputmeatthehelmtoleadthiscompany.
AndIwasdeterminedtobringusbacktothetopofourgame.
ButIcouldn’tdoitwithaweakteam,andnoteveryonehadwantedtomovetothissmalltown.Luckily,I’dgottenafewgoodpeopleonthemarketingteamtomakethemove,andourtwotopeditorswholivedinthecitywerewillingtorelocateimmediately.Oncetheyrealizedthecost-of-livingadvantages,theywereallin.
ButIneededmorepeople,andsofar,thepoolofcandidatesinCottonwoodCovewasn’tveryimpressive.
“Okay.We’veestablishedyourabilitytodominateageriatricsportandshinewithashuttlecock.Whatelsedoyouhave?”Iraisedabrowatthegorgeouswomansittinginfrontofme.
Herskinwastan,herhairwasblonde,andhereyeswereararesapphireblue.ShewasthequintessentialCaliforniagirl,withdimplesandwhiteteethandthewholenineyards.Apersonalityfordays,whichprobablyscoredherpointswithmostpeople.Unfortunately,Iwasn’tlikemostpeople.IneededafuckingpersonalassistantsoIcouldstopwastingtimesettingappointments,orderingofficesupplies,andspinningmywheels.I’dgrownuparoundassistantswhomanagedbothmygrandfather’sandmyfather’slives.Andtheysureasshitwerenotbraggingabouttheirbadmintonskills.
Mylastthreeassistantshadbeendisasters.Onehadcalledinsickmoreoftenthanshecametowork.Onehadfuckedupmycalendarsobadly,causingmetomissanimportantmeeting,amongstashittonofothererrors,whichleftmenochoicebuttofireher.Andthelastonehadsqueezedmythighunderthetableatlunchwithaclient,movingherfingersdangerouslyclosetomydickbecauseshethoughtitwouldrelaxme.
Shewaswrong.
I’dsentherasspacking,aswell.
Ididn’tmixbusinesswithpleasure,andIneededanassistantwhocouldhandlemorethanonetaskatatime—andthreateningtograbmydickwasnotoneofthem.
“Well,I’mveryorganized.IhandledtheentireReynoldsfamilycalendargrowingup.Andletmetellyou,fiveteenagersandtwoadultsgoinginsevendifferentdirectionsisnoteasytomanage.Iwasateachingassistantfortwoofmyprofessors,andtheybothsentoverexcellentrecommendations.”Shereachedintoherbagagainandhandedmetwolettersthatwerealsoprintedonpeachfloralpaper.
Whyintheworldwouldshethinkthiswouldimpressme?Itwasdistracting.Annoyingeven.Iscannedtheletters,andIwouldbelyingifIsaidIwasn’trelievedtoseethatthey’dsungherpraises.Theyravedaboutherworkethic,andoneprofessorcalledherarayofsunshine.IsupposethattrumpedthecloudofcannabisthatI’djustinterviewedandthewomanfromhellyesterdaywho’dbitchedabouteveryoneintownandtootedherownhornaboutbeingasocialoutcast.
Myoptionswerelimited,andtimewasticking,soI’dneedtobitethebulletandhiresomeonealready.
“Youshouldhaveledwiththis.It’sbetterthanthegiftforoddsports.”Isetthelettersaside.“Thisisnotatypicalassistantjob,Ms.Reynolds.”
“I’mnotatypicalgirl.”Shesmirked.
“Doyouneedthisjob?”ItwasanimportantquestionbecauseIwasn’theretoplaygames.
“Absolutely.”Sheclearedherthroatandleanedforward.Shemetmygazehead-on.Mostpeopledidn’t.“Listen,Idon’thavealotofpersonalassistantexperience,butI’mareallyhardworker,andI’maquicklearner.”
Ididn’tdoubtit.She’dgraduatedmagnacumlaude,sothattoldmethatsheknewhowtofocusandpushherself.
“Thispositiongoesbeyondjustofficework.Ineedsomeonetorunerrands,handlethingsatmyhouse,and,ifneeded,jumponaplaneandtravelatamoment’snotice.You’dbeinchargeofschedulingmyappointments,possiblysittinginonmeetingsandtakingnotes,andoccasionallyreadingmanuscripts.So,asyoucansee,you’dbewearingseveralhats.”
“Ilovehats.I’veyettofindonethatIcan’tpulloff.”Shesmiledsobigitwashardnottojoinher,asidefromthefactthatheranswermadenosense.
“Youwon’tactuallybewearinghats.It’sametaphor.”
“Thatwasalittlecondescending,Bossman.I’maware.Iwasbeingfunny.Apparently,asenseofhumorisnotinthejobdescription.”
Smart-ass.AlthoughIlikedthatshewaswittyandnotsomeairhead.I’dhavetosetsomegroundrulesifIgaveherthejob,whichwaslookingverylikelybecausetherewasnooneelseintherunning.
“Howaboutwelosetheattitudeandkeepthingsprofessional?”Iwaitedforhertonod,butforwhateverreason,shecontinuedsmilinglikethiswasallingoodfun.Itwasn’t.Iwasfuckingserious.“Areyouareader?”
“Ofpeople?”sheaskedbeforesherubbedherhandstogetherlikeshecouldn’twaittotellmeallaboutherskills.
“Ofbooks,Ms.Reynolds.We’reapublishinghouse.”
“Oh.Yes.Ofcourse.”Shelookedoffasifshewereindeepthought,andjustasIwasabouttospeak,shecontinued.“Imean,Imainlyreadindieauthors.Nooffense.Ijusttendtoleanthatway.ButI’dbeopentoreadingauthorsthatyousign,ofcourse.”
Interestingthatsheknewthedifferencebetweenatraditionallypublishedauthorandaself-publishedauthor.Mostpeopledidn’t.Self-pubbedauthorswerefloodingthemarket,butunderstandingthemarketwasnotsomethingI’dexpectedfrommypersonalassistant.
“Whydoyouleantowardreadingindieauthors?”
“Well,Ireadpredominantlyromance.Mycousin,AshlanThomas,isatraditionallypublishedromanceauthor,andIbeta-readforher.She’sfabulous.Butotherwise,therearejustsomanyauthorstochoosefromintheself-publishedworldofromance.Mostarefemale,ifI’mbeinghonest,andIguessIappreciateabadasswomanwhoiswillingtomakeherdreamshappen,right?Thatmeanstheydoitall.Theywrite,theymarket,andtheysell.It’shardnottorespectit.”
I’dneverthoughtofitlikethat.Butthatwasn’twhatwedidhereatLancasterPress,andsheneededtorememberthat.I’dhadnoideathatAshlanThomaswashercousin,butI’dsavethatlittlesidenoteforanothertime,assigningherwouldbegreat,seeingasshewasanewer,butverypopularauthor,andhernamewasgettingalotofpraise.
“Youdorealizethatwe’reatraditionalpublisher,right?”Iraisedabrow.
“Yes.Butyouhiredmetomanageyou,notchoosethetalent.”
“Ihaven’thiredyouyet,andifIdo,itwouldbetoassistme,notmanageme.”
“Tomato,tomahto.AndI’mopentoreadingwhateveryougiveme.YoujustaskedwhatIread,andIwasbeinghonest.”
Iappreciatedit,evenifIwasn’tsureIlikedheranswer.
“Andhowmanybookswouldyousaythatyoureadayear?”WhywasIevenaskingthat?ShewasmyPA,notaneditororacoverdesigner.Whatshereadwasirrelevant,yetIwascurious.
Ifoundmostpeoplewhohadopinionsonauthorsandthebookworldwereusuallyalltalk.Whenitcamedowntoit,alotofpeoplethathadthesestrongopinionsonlyreadtwotothreebooksayear,sotheiropinionswerebasedonnothingatall.
“Hmmm…”Shethoughtitover,andIwantedtochuckle.She’djustmadethisgrandstatement,andnowshemostlikelycouldn’tbackitup.“Ithinkthreehundredayearwouldbeaconservativeguess.Iusuallyreadabookaday,butsometimesittakesmeabitlonger,sothat’sprobablyclosetoaccurate.”
Itriedtohidemysurprisewithaslownod.“Isee.ThatcouldbeusefulifIneedyoutotakeaquicklookatsomesubmissionsthatmyeditorssendformyapproval.”
“I’dbethrilledtodothat.Andtrustme,Iwon’tforgetthatpickingupyourdrycleaningandgettingyourcoffeeisalsopartofthejob.IknowI’llbewearingmanyhats.”
“Shouldn’tbetoohardforthecountypickleballchamp,”Isaid,keepingmytoneevenasIfoughttheurgetolaugh.Iwasn’tnormallymuchofajokester,butIcouldn’thelpmyself.
Ispentthenextfortyminutesgoingoverthedetailsoftheposition,thepay,andthebenefitspackage.
“DoesthismeanIhavethejob?”sheasked,doingsomesortoflittleshimmywithhershoulders.
Therewasnodoubtthatshewascharmingandgorgeousandmoreintelligentthansheletonatfirstglance.
Butshewasalsounprofessionalandabitofasmart-ass.Ofcourse,mybrotherandmostofmytenuredemployeeswouldsayIwasastickinthemud,sotherewasthat.
I’dhavetomakesuresheunderstoodthatIwasthebossandsheworkedforme.Thiswasajob,andifshewasn’tsteppinguptotheplate,I’dhavenoproblemcuttingher.Itdidn’tmatterhowcuteorsexyshewas.
Andgoddamn,wassheeversexy.
“Youhavethejob.”Ipushedtomyfeet.“Beheretomorrowmorningat8:00a.m.sharp,andwe’llgetyouallsetup.Idon’ttoleratetardinessorexcuses.I’mabusyman,andIneedsomeonewhocankeepup.”
Shepushedtoherfeetandsalutedme.“Iwillnotletyoudown,Bossman.”
“YoucancallmeMr.Lancaster,”Igrumped.
Oncethatwasoutoftheway,Iglancedatmywatch,awarethatIhadameetinginfiveminutes,soIwalkedtothedoorandhelditopen,extendingmyarm.“Welcometotheteam.HRwillhaveyourpaperworkreadytosigninthemorning.”
Shesquealed,andmyeyeswidened.“Thankyou,Mr.Lancaster.Ican’twaittodazzleyou.”
Onceagain,shewascompletelyunprofessional.
Butwhenhersmallhandlandedinmine,Ididn’twanttoletgo.
Andthathadmeyankingmyhandawayimmediately.Iheldmyarmoutforhertoleave,andwhensheturnedaroundtosaygoodbye,Iletthedoorshut.
Weweren’tgirlfriends.
Ididn’tdosmalltalk.
Ineededtomakethatclearrightoffthebat.
AndthatwasexactlywhatIintendedtodo.threeGeorgia
IwasgratefulthatI’dwornpantsthismorningbecauseitwasbone-chillinglycoldtoday.WhenI’ddrivenhomefrommyinterviewyesterday,I’dpassedthelotownedbyoneofmybrother’sbestfriends,Brax,wherealotofthelocalshadtheircarsforsale.Unfortunately,acarwaswellbeyondmybudgetatthemoment,butIdidhavesomegraduationmoneyinthebank,soI’dpurchasedthecutestwhitescooter.Itevencamewithamatchinghelmet,andthewholethingwasonlytwohundredbucks.ItwasthetemporarysolutionIwaslookingfor.Ididn’tknowhowlongIcouldpullofftheexcusethatmycarwasintheshop.Mybrother,Hugh,wasalreadyannoyedthatI’dleftitatanautoshopinthecitywhenhisgoodfriend,Roddy,wouldhaveworkedonithereinCottonwoodCoveandgivenmeadeal.
No,duh.
Iwasn’tadipshit.
Iwasasurvivor.
Ihadagiftforbuyingtime,andthatwasexactlywhatIwasdoing.Mycarwasnotintheshop.Ithadbeenstolen.
Well,stolenmightbeabitharsh,seeingasIknewthethiefalltoowell.
DikotaSmith,a.k.a.myinsaneex-boyfriend,hadtakenmycarandwasholdingithostage.He’drefusedtogiveitbacktomeuntilIagreedtostartseeinghimagain.
Isurecanpick‘em,right?
Ilovedfindingbrokenthingsandtryingtoputthembacktogether.TheproblemwithDikotawasthathewasbrokenbeyondrepair.Theguyneveractedlikehewasintomeuntilanotherguyshowedmeanykindofattention,orwhenI’dfinallycalledofftherelationship
Thenhesuddenlycouldn’tlivewithoutme.
So,he’dtakenmykeysthelasttimeIsawhimandhaddrivenawayinmycar.He’dhiddenitsomewhereandwouldn’tgiveitback.
Andthiswasn’teventheworstthingthathe’ddonetome,butIwasn’tgoingtoruinmygoodmoodthinkingaboutit.
Obviously,Icouldgotothepoliceoraskmyfamilyforhelp,butthewholethingwasembarrassing,andIwasjusthopinghe’dcometohissensessoon.Unfortunately,ithadbeenseveralweeks,andhewasstillblowingupmyphoneaboutgettingbacktogetherandactinglikealunatic.
Blockhim?
Sure.I’dloveto.Buttheguyhadmycar,andIwanteditback.
IparkedmyscooterbehindLancasterPressandrubbedmyhandstogether,thankfulforthewhitefurryglovesI’dgrabbedthismorningbeforeIleft.Mynosewasfrozen,andIreachedformybagthatwassittinginthebasketbehindmyseatandhurriedtothefrontdoor
Iwasobviouslythefirstoneherebecausethedoorwaslocked.I’dcomeearly,hopingtoimpressmygrumpybossonmyfirstdayonthejobaswellassneakoutofthehousebeforeHughorLiladiscoveredthatIwasdrivingascooter.I’dbeenforcedtoparkitafewblocksawayfromthehousesotheywouldn’tseeit.
Anotherdownsidetothescooterwasthefactthatitwasfreezingoutside,andIcouldn’tturnontheheatandwaitinsidelikeIwouldifitwereacar
Myphonevibrated,andIpulleditfrommycoatpocketandjoggedinplaceasIreadthemessagesinournever-endingsiblinggroupchat.Ihadthreeolderbrothersandoneoldersister,andwewereallveryclose.
Brinkley
Goodlucktoday,Georgie!You’regoingtokillit.
Hugh
Youleftbeforebreakfast?Wewantedtofeedyou.Ithoughtyoustartedat8:00a.m.?
Iwantedtomakeagoodimpression.
HadIknownI’dbewaitingoutside,I’dhavebeenlesseagertobethisearly.
Cage
Thatisawinningattitude.Earlybirdgetstheworm.
Finn
Tequiladrinkersalsogettheworm.I’monsetthismorning,orI’ddefinitelystillbeinbed.You’vegotthis,girl!Dazzlethebillionaire.
Brinkley
Didyoutellhimthatyouwerethecountypickleballchamp?
Yep.Hedidn’tseemtoodazzled.
Hugh
Didyoushareyourridiculousknowledgeofseventiesmusic?
Nope.IthoughtI’dpullthatoutatalaterdate.
Istartedjumpingupanddownbecausejogginginplacewasnotworking,andmyeyeswerewatering.IfearedmytearswouldfreezeonmycheeksifIdidn’tstartwarmingup.
Cage
Justbeyourself.Youalreadyhavethejob.Andhey,ifitdoesn’tworkout,youcanalwayscomeworkforme.I’vegotanappointmentwithasickpigandaduckwithdigestionissuesthismorning.Doesitgetanybetterthanthis?
Finn
Apigandaduckwalkedintoabar…
Hugh
Andtheducksaid,“Besuretogivemethebill.”
MyheadfellbackinlaughterasIcontinuedsprintinginplaceasfastasIcould.
“Mygod.Howlonghaveyoubeenstandingouthere?It’sfreezing,”MaddoxLancastersaid,startlingthehelloutofmeasIspunaround.Igaspedanddroppedmyphonebeforelosingmybalanceandslammingmyheadintothebrickwallandnearlyfallingtotheground.
Twostronghandsfoundmyshouldersandsteadiedme,andhisdarkbrowneyesstudiedmewithconcern.
“Oh,hey,”Isaid,tryingtopullmyselftogetherasImovedtoreachformyphone,buthestoppedmeashebentdowntograbit.
Hehandedmemyphoneandunlockedthedoor,holdingitopenformetowalkinsideaheadofhim.Heflippedonthelights,andIpulledtheglovesandhatoffmyheadandquicklytriedtopatmyhairintoplace.Mylipswerestillfrozen,andmyteethwerechattering.ThiswasnottheimpressionIwashopingtomake.
Hestudiedmeforafewseconds,butitfeltlongerbecausehedidn’tsmile,andhelooked…annoyed?Angry?Concerned?
“Isyourheadokay?”heasked,hisvoicedeepandgrowly.
“Yes.Ofcourse.Myhathasalotofpadding.”Ihelditbythegiantpom-pomontopandshookitinfrontofmyselflikeafool.
“Whydidn’tyouwaitinyourcar?”
“Ididn’tdrivemycarhere.It’sintheshop.”Iclearedmythroatbecausethemanhadawayofmakingmefeellikehecouldseethroughme.Henarrowedhisgazelikehewasn’tbuyingit
Hedidn’tevenknowme.
HowdidheknowIwaslying?
Obviously,hewascorrect,buthedidn’tknowthat.
“DidyoudrivethatwhitebicycleIsawparkedinthelothere?”heasked,anditcameoffverycondescendingandrude,whichIdidnotappreciate.
Isquaredmyshoulders.Hemightbemynewboss,buttherewasnoreasontobeanasshole.I’dcomeearlyandhadfrozenmyassoffoutside,andIdidn’tneedtobetreatedlikeachild.
“It’sahigh-poweredscooter,andyes,it’smytemporaryformoftransportation.Italsohasnothingtodowithmyjob,soIdon’tappreciateyouactinglikeI’vebrokentheruleswhenIwasthefirstonetoarrivetoday,onmybicycle.”Iglaredathim,andthefeelingstartedtocomebackinmyhandsbecausetheywerefistedatmysides.
Thecornersofhislipsturnedupjusttheslightestbit,andhenodded.“Fairenough.I’mimpressedyoubeatmebecauseI’malwaysthefirstonehere.Howaboutwegetyouakey,soifyoueverarrivebeforeme,you’llbeabletocomeinside?”
“Okay,”Isaid,myangerstartingtodissipate.
Ifollowedhimthroughthebottomfloor,andheshowedmewheretheemployeebreakroomwas,andIgaspedthatitwasstockedwithproteinbars,fruit,nuts,andenergydrinks.
“Itakeityoulikesnacks?”
“Doesn’teveryone?”IshruggedasIfollowedhimdownthehallway,andhepointedoutdifferentoffices.Thereweretwoofficesforeditors,awholeareaforthemarketingteam,andevenabigspacetobrainstormideaswithcouchesandbeanbags.
“Ah…I’mabigfanofthebeanbag.Ihadahugehotpinkbeanbaginmyroominhighschool,andIwouldsleeponitmostnights,”Isaid.
Hepausedandlookedatme.“Interesting.Youdriveahigh-poweredscooterandsleeponabeanbag.”
Hewassuchapompousasssometimes.Butdamn,hewasgood-looking.Heworeablacktrenchcoat,agrayscarf,andhelookedlikehe’djuststeppedoffaphotoshootforafashionmagazine.Ihadafeelingtherewasamorecasualguybeneaththisfa?adesomewhere,andifanyonecoulddighimout,itwouldbeme.
“WhatcanIsay?I’magirlofmanytalents—”Mywordswerecutoffwhenweturnedthecorner,andIcametoascreechinghalt.
“What’swrong?”Heshovedhishandsintohiscoatpocketsashewatchedme.
“Thereisaping-pongtablehere?ItoldyouthatIexcelatunusualsports.”
“Letmeguess.You’rethecountychampionofping-pong?”Hewastryingtobesarcastic,buttherewashumorinhistone.
“Iguessyou’lljusthavetoseeforyourself.Doyouplay?”
“Ping-pong?”Heraisedabrow.“That’sahardno.”
“Thenwhydoyouhaveatableattheoffice?”
“Becausestudiesshowthatcreativepeopleneedoutlets.Ihadtheteamvoteonwhattheywantedbroughtin,andthiswasthewinner.Butit’sonlyusedwhenthereissomethingtocelebrate,atlunchtime,orafterworkingforseveralhourswhenthewholeteamtakesabreak.Idon’tmicromanagemyemployees.Itrustthem.Iftheydotheirjob,I’mhappy.So,theyhaveaspacetohavealittlefun,andtheyappreciateit.Thiswassimilartooursetupinthecity.”
Iglancedovertoseealargewhiteboardwithnameslistedandnumbered.Icouldn’twaittojumpinandgetonthatlist.
Hestartedwalkingagain,andIfollowedhimaswemadeourwayupthestairstothetopfloor.
“Thesearetheadministrativeoffices.Thisisyourspacehere.”Hemotionedtothedeskoutsidehisoffice.Itwasalarge,whitemoderndesk,L-shaped,withlotsofdrawersandstoragecabinetsonthewallbehindit.Itwasn’tenclosed,soI’dbeoutintheopen.Isetmybriefcasedownandunzippedthetopandpulledoutthephotoofmyfamilyandsetitonthedesk,beforereachingbackinsideandfindingthegold“G”thatlookedlikeapaperweightandsettingitinthecornerbeforepullingoutmypadofinspirationalsayingsandsettingitonthesideofthedesk.Ilikedtostartthedaywithapositivemantratokickthingsoff.
Hesmirked.“Youcameprepared.Isthatyourfamily?”
“Yep.That’sallofus.”
“There’salotofyou.”
“YoucanneverhavetoomanyReynolds,”Isaid,bitingdownonmybottomlip.
“Idon’tknowaboutthat.Oneseemslikeplenty,sofar.”
Ouch.Hereallywasn’tafanofmine.I’dhavetoworkonthat.
“So,willIbeworkingforeveryoneonthisfloor?”
“Absolutelynot.Youaremyadmin.Ifanyonestartstaskingyou,letmeknow.Grabanotebook—thereareafewinthedrawer—andmeetmeinmyoffice.We’llgoovereverythingyou’llbedoingforme.”
Iglancedinthedrawerandsawtheblandspiralnotebooksandshutitimmediately.Ireachedintomybagandpulledoutmycheetahnotebook,alongwithmypinkpen.Islippedoffmycoat,droppedmykeysinmytopdeskdrawer,andhurriedintohisoffice.
He’dtakenoffhiscoat,andhisfittedblackdressshirtstrainedagainsthisbroadshoulders.Heworeblackpants,blackexpensive-lookingloafers,andablackbelt.
“Wow.Someone’schannelingtheirinnerJohnnyCashtoday.”
“Isthatacheetahnotebook?”Hecompletelyignoredmeashiseyesscannedmyfaceandthenmoveddowntomywaist.Heslowlyperusedmypinksilkblouse,andInervouslypressedthenonexistentwrinklesoutofmycreamdresspants.
“Itis.Doyouhavesomethingagainstthecheetah?”
“Areyoualwaysasmart-ass?”heasked,foldinghishandstogetherandrestingthemonhisdesk.Hewasanintimidatingmaninaway,butforwhateverreason,hedidn’tscareme.Iimaginedmostpeoplesquirmedunderhisdeathglare.
“Well,itdependsonwhoyouask.Mostofmyfamilymemberswouldprobablysayyes.Myfriendswouldprobablyagree,too,”Isaid,inabitofaramble
Hegroanedandhelduphishands.“YoudounderstandthatI’myourboss,correct?”
Obviously,Iknewhewasmyboss,ashe’dinterviewedme,andhewasthepresidentofthecompany.Bossmanreallywantedtodrivethisonehome.
“Ido.”
“Thenlet’sleavethesmart-asscommentsatthedoor.”Heraisedabrow,andInodded.
ThinkofwhatMomalwayssays…Youdonotneedtoshareeverythoughtthatrunsthroughyourmind.
“Gotit,Mr.Lancaster,”Isaid,plasteringawidesmileonmyface.
Heleanedbackinhischairandclearedhisthroat.“Good.Tellmewhyyou’redrivingthatridiculouscontraptioninthecold.”
“Mycarisintheshop.”I’dalreadytoldhimthat,butIwastryingnottobeasmart-ass,soIwouldn’tremindhimthathealreadyknewtheanswertothatquestion.
“Whenwillitbeready?”
“Soon,Ihope.”
“Andyoucan’tborrowacarfromoneofyourmanyfamilymembers?”heasked,andtherewasthatcondescendingtoneagain.ButIwouldnotreact.
“Idon’twanttoaskthem.I’mtryingtoprovethatIcandothingsonmyown.Ijustgraduatedfromcollege,soit’stimetobeagrown-up.”
Hislipstwitchedtheslightestbit,andifIwasreadingMaddoxLancastercorrectly,I’dsaythathelikedmyanswer.ButIhadthefeelingthathe’dneveradmitit.
“Iunderstandthat.So,let’sgooveryourduties.”
Ipulledthefeathercapoffmypinkpenandslippeditontotheback,crossedmylegs,andbalancedthenotebookonmylap.
Heproceededtospendthenextthirtyminutesgivingmethemostexhaustivelistofduties.Iwouldbedoingeverythingfromgettingcoffee,orderinglunchfortheoffice,sittinginonhismeetingsandtakingnotes,topickinguphisdrycleaningandsettingdinnerreservations.Hewouldalsooccasionallyhavemereadblurbsandgivefeedback,andwe’dbeaddinginotherthingsashesawfit.
So,basically,I’dbeacoffeeanderrandgirlifIdidn’tprovethatIwasupformore.
ButIplannedtoimpressthehelloutofhim.
Oddsportsmaybemyspecialty,butdifficultmenwereaclosesecond.
Gameon,Bossman.fourMaddox
OurteamwasfindingtheirrhythmhereinCottonwoodCove.Mynewassistanthadtwoweeksunderherbeltandhadstartedherthirdweekwiththesamegusto.She’dsurprisedmewithherworkethicseveraltimesalready,althoughthiswasstillatrialperiod.
I’dlearnedthatmanypeoplecomeoutofthegatestrongwithanewjob,andthenthey’dfizzleout.GeorgiaReynoldshadhandledeverythingI’dthrownatherwitheasethusfar,whichwassayingalotbecauseI’dbeenknowntogothroughassistantsfasterthanmostpeoplewentthroughacupofcoffee.AndI’dhitherwitheverythingIhadinmyarsenal.SendingheronbullshiterrandsandgivinghertasksIdidn’tthinkshe’dfinish;yeteverysingletime,she’dcomebackwithasmileonherface.Iexpectedalotfromthepeoplewhoworkedforme,andIrewardedthemwellforit.Ihadn’trewardedheryetbecauseitwastoosoon.Thejurywasstilloutonwhethershe’dmakeithere.
IftherewasapopularitycontestatLancasterPress,Georgiawouldbethequeenoftheoffice.Everyonelovedheralready,andshe’donlybeenhereforafewweeks.Sheknewhowtoturnonthecharm,andIadmiredpeoplewhoknewtheirstrengthsandcapitalizedonthem.Wheremostpeoplemadeanefforttobefriendly,therewasagenuinenesswithherthatwasraretofindinpeople.Hernamewasatthetopofthewhiteboardfortheongoingping-ponggamethattheyallplayedeverydayontheirlunchbreak,asshe’dwastednotimetakingpart.Sheonlytooktwentyminutesadayforlunch,whichInoted,becauseIwaspreparedtocallheroutifshespentanhourinthebreakroomwiththestaffplayinggames.She’dgodown,playonegame,apparentlydominate,andtheneatherlunchatherdeskwhilesheworked.She’dalsobroughtdonutsinthelasttwoFridaystocelebrateherfirstweekonthejob,andthispastweekforVirginia’sbirthday,andthathadwonherbigpoints.Ibelievedindoingsomethingspecialforemployeesthathadbeenwithyouforfive,ten,andeventwentyyears.Butapartytocelebrateaweekonthejob?Whothefuckdidthat?
Likemostnewemployees,Iwaspreparedforhertogoataslowerpaceatthestartofweektwoandthenagainatthestartofweekthree.Itwascommon,andIhadnointentionsofeasinguponher.Butshe’duppedhergamelastweekandhadn’tlostanounceofsteam.
I’djustarrivedattheoffice,andIparkednexttothatgoddamnwhitecontraptionthatshedrovetowork,whichpissedmeoff.Itwascoldashellout,andsheshouldn’tbedrivingsomethingthatwasn’tsafe.AndwhythefuckdidIcare?
I’dcomeearliertoday,anattempttobefirst,butshe’dbeatmeagain.Ididn’tneedtobeherethisearly,butthefactthatshehadarrivedbeforemeeverydaysinceshe’dstartedhadmegettingoutofbedalittleearlierthanusual.
Andhowlongdoesittaketofixafuckingcar?
Washerfamilyokaywithherdrivingthisdeathtraponwheelstoworkeveryday?
Whydiditannoymesomuch?
MaybeIwasjustinamoodbecauseI’dwokenupwitharagingbonerafteradreamaboutmyassistantstraddlingmeatmydeskwhilewearingnopanties.
Itwasn’tthefirsttimeI’ddreamtofhereither.Andthatshitpissedmeoff.
Iwasn’tthatguy.
Ididn’tfantasizeaboutwomenIworkedwith.
Whenitcametowomen,Iwasalwaysincontrol.
So,Ihadabadcaseofblueballs,anditonlyaddedtomyalreadyirritabledisposition.
Imoseyedintotheoffice,andIwasimmediatelyhitwithseventiesmusic,asIhadbeeneverydaysinceshe’dstarted.FromKarenCarpenter’s“ClosetoYou”totheKnack’s“MySharona”,thegirlblaredhermusicuntilI’darriveeverymorning,andthenshe’dhustleandturnitoffwithnoargumentfromme.Iwasn’tafanoftheseventies,soI’djustusemyShazamappthatcouldtellmethenameofasongrightonmyphone.Thatway,whenIcomplainedaboutittoher,IwouldactlikeIknewwhatIwascomplainingabout.IdidnotneedtoShazamtoday’ssong,asevenIwasabletorecognizeAbba’s“DancingQueen”.Imademywayupthestairsandfoundherinmyofficewithherbacktomeasshestoodatthefilingcabinet,singingatthetopofherlungsalongwiththemusicthatwasplayingfromherphone.
ShesanglikeshewasonanepisodeofTheVoiceandshimmiedherhotlittlebodydowntothefloorlikeitwasherlife’spassion.ItwassortofhowshedideverythingfromwhatI’dassessedovertheselastfewweeks.
Everythingwithherwasupbeat.Likearayofsunshineallthefuckingtime—asidefromtheattitudethatshegaveme.However,shewasn’tthatwaywithanyoneelseatworkfromwhatI’dobserved.Shewastoobusyspreadingpixiedusteverywhereshewent,likeamodern-dayfuckingTinkerBell.Theproblemwas,Ididn’tcareforpixiedust.NordidIcareforloudmusicboomingthroughmyofficeatseventhirtyinthefuckingmorning.OrthefactthatIcouldn’ttakemyeyesoffherperfectlyround,peach-shaped,tightlittleass.Imovedtowardmydeskandhitherphonewithmyfisttopausethemusic,andshejumpedandturnedbeforetrippingoverherownfootandflyingacrossmydesk
LikeIsaid…shewasafuckingfairy.
ButthisTinkerBellhadjustexposedherwhitelacethong,whichdidnothingtocoverhergorgeousasswhenherskirtflewupandsheslidacrossmydesk.
Herblondehairfellallaroundhershoulders,andsheblinkedupatme,quicklyadjustingherskirtandmovingtoherfeet.
“Oh,hey.Youscaredme.”
“DidI?Howisthatpossible?”Ihissed.Becauseforwhateverreason,seeingherbareassfirstthinginthemorninghadmydickgoinghard,again,andthatshitpissedmeoff.
A.Sheworkedforme.
B.IwasalwaysincontrolofhowIreactedtoothers.
“Howiswhatpossible?”sheasked,actingalloffendedasshereachedforherphone.
“HowdidIscareyouwhenyouknewIwasarriving?Anddidn’tIaskyoutostopwiththeannoyingmusic?”
“Iseewe’reinanotherfabulousmood,”shesaid,raisingabrow.Shehadagiftforinsultingmewithkindness,soIcouldn’twriteherupbecausewhatshe’dsaidwasactuallynice,eventhoughwebothknewshedidn’tmeanit.“Foryourinformation,Isetmyalarmonmyphonefor7:40a.m.,whichiswhenyou’vearrivedeverydaysinceIstartedhere.You’reearlytoday.Ihadplannedtostopspreadingjoyat7:40On.The.Dot.Butnow,I’llbringinthedarkcloudat7:30a.m.instead.Andfortherecord,thereisnothingannoyingaboutAbba.TheMamaMiafandomwouldnottaketookindlytoyouinsultingthatsong.”
“Ithoughtweweredonebeingasmart-ass?”Imovedaroundmydesk,tryingtoadjustmyragingbonerwithouthernoticing.Itwasn’taneasytaskhousingthebeastwhenhewasworkedup.
“Iamdonebeingasmart-ass,Bossman.IwasjusttellingyouthatIhadaplan,andyousortofmesseditup.Whyareyouhereearlytoday?”
“Onceagain,I’mtheboss,andyou’retheemployee.Thatisnotaquestionyouneedtobeasking.”Isatinmychairandraisedabrow.“Goflutterbacktoyourdesk,TinkerBell.I’vegotworktodo.”
“IloveTinkerBell.She’smyfavoritefairy.Thankyou.”Sheslammedthedrawerofthefilecabinetandplasteredafakesmileonherface.
“Itwasn’tmeantasacompliment.”Imotionedwithmyheadforhertoleave.Thegirlwasgivingmeamigraine,andI’donlybeenhereforfiveminutes.
Ididnotappreciatestartingthedaywithsomefucked-upMamaMiamusic.
Aragingboner.
Andabadheadache.
Thephonerang,andIcouldhearherbeingallchippertowhoeverwasontheotherline.Sheendedthecall,andthenmydeskphonerang.Seeingasweweretheonlytwopeopleintheoffice,Isqueezedmyeyesclosedforaminute,pinchedthebridgeofmynosewithmyfingerandthumb,andletoutalongbreathbeforepickingupthephone.
“You’resittingfivefeetfromme;youdon’tneedtousethephone.Youcouldhavejustspokenfromyourdesk.”
“Thatwouldn’tbeveryprofessional,wouldit?”
“Whatdoyouneed?”
“Hildacalled.She’ssick,”shechirped.
“WhothefuckisHilda?”
“Thisisdisappointing,Bossman.She’syourhousekeeper,andshesaidsheworksfivedaysaweekforyou.ShecalledyouMaddy,soIassumedyouwereclose.”
Igroaned.ThewomanhadnevercalledmeMaddy,andIknewmyassistantwasfuckingwithme.“IcallherMrs.Miller,andshecallsmeMr.Lancaster.What’swrongwithher?”
“Shefeelsfine,butshehaslaryngitis,soshewon’tbecomingtoworktoday.”
“Idon’tneedhertosing.She’stheretoclean.Ifshefeelsfine,whycan’tshegotowork?”Ihissed,justasshestartedtospeak,andIcutheroff.“Nevermind.Myheadispounding.I’lltakeacupofcoffee.”
“Please?”
“Please,what?”Iasked.
“CanIpleasegetacupofcoffee?”shesaid.
“Areyouaskingmetogetyouacupofcoffee?”
“I’mjustremindingyouthatthewordpleasegoesalongway.Justagoodthingtokeepinmind.I’llbeinwithyourcoffeeshortly,Boss.”ShehungupbeforeIcouldrespond.
Whatthefuckkindofmindgamewasthis?
Ididn’tlookupatherwhenshesetthemugonthedeskwithanapkinandabanana,whichwasthoughtful,seeingasIhadn’taskedforone,butIusuallygrabbedonewhenIfirstgothere.
Iglancedupjustassheleftmyoffice.Herpencilskirthuggedhercurvesinalltherightplaces,andIcursedmyselfforlooking.Tanlegs,fuck-meheels,andabodythatcoulddropamantohisknees.
Anddamn,wouldIdroptomykneesforthatwoman.
Ipickedupmycellphoneandtypedhercontactinfoin.I’dbeenmeaningtodoitbuthadn’tgottenaroundtoityet.Ididn’twanttocallherontheofficephoneaftershamingherforcallingme.ButIdidn’twanttoinviteanewconversationeither,becausemydickwasfinallysettlingdown,andIneededhertostayatherfuckingdeskforawhile.Shewasmyassistant,andIshouldhavehernumberinmyphoneanyway.
Thankyouforthecoffeeandthebanana,Tink.
Tink
Whoisthis?
Ichuckledbecauseshewasfunnyashell,evenifIwouldn’tadmitittoher.
Didyoubringsomeoneelsecoffeeandabanana?
Tink
Bossman?
Obviously.
Tink
Isthisyourwayofapologizing?
No.Thisismywayofthankingyouforthecoffeeandthebanana.
Tink
You’rewelcome.Now,ifwecangetyoutosayplease,changeyourtasteinmusic,softenthewayyoudeliveryourrequests,andtrysmilingeverynowandthen…itwillbeawin.
Don’tholdyourbreath.
Tink
Ah…didyouknowthatIhadabriefstintwithsynchronizedswimming?Holdingmybreathisanothersecrettalent.
You’refullofsurprises.Getbacktowork.
Tink
<ThumbsUpEmoji>
Isetmyphonedownjustasvoicesstartedtofilltheoffice.GeorgiaputacallfrommygrandfatherthroughtomeandheldupherhandasshepulledmydoorclosedsoIcouldhaveprivacy.
“Maddox,howarethingsgoingoverthere?”heasked,hisvoicealwaysgrufffromhisearlyyearsasasmoker.
“Good.We’vegotapileofnewmanuscriptstogothroughandavirtualmeetingwithArthurHobbsthisafternoon.”
“Great.Doeshehavenewpagesforyou?”heasked.ArthurwasanumberoneNewYorkTimesbestsellingauthor,andwe’dpublishedmorethantwodozenbookswithhimoverthelastdecade.WewereintalkswithParamountforamoviedeal,andthemanwasoneofourmostimportantclients.
“He’sworkingonit.He’sinabitofaslump,butwe’lltalkitthroughwithhim.Helenaisn’tconcerned.”Ileanedbackinmychair.HelenaRosewoodwasourchiefeditorandabrilliantwoman.She’dbeenworkingatLancasterPresssinceI’dbeenakid,andthewomanhadaneyefortalent.
“Well,ifsheisn’tconcerned,thenIdon’tthinkweneedtobe.”Hepausedasadeepcoughbellowedfromhislungs.Iwaited.Askingifhewasokaywouldinfuriatehim.Hewasatougholdgoat—hiswords,notmine.Arealestatemogul,abrilliantbusinessman,andhismostpreciouscompanywasLancasterPress.Heclearedhisthroat.“How’sthehouse?Yousettlinginokaythere?”
“Thehouseisnice.Thetownissmall.Thingsareslowhere.”Ileanedbackinmyleatherchairandcrossedmyarmsovermychest.I’dfoughtthemovehere,butsolelybecauseIdidn’twanttoleavethecity.Itwasawisemoveforthecompany.Wedidn’tneedtobelocatedonthebusieststreetinSanFranciscoanymore.Itservednopurpose,andwecouldhavealotmorespacehere.Withsomanythingsbeingremotenow,therewasnoreasonnottomove.MygrandfatherhadremovedmyfatherfromhispositionaspresidentofLancasterPress,andwiththeshiftoftitletome,itwastheperfecttimetorelocate.Startfresh.
“Slowisn’talwaysabadthing,myboy.AndyouaretrulytheonlyonethatItrusttogetthiscompanybacktowhereitwas.Yourfatherisstillpissedatme.”
“He’llgetoverit,”Isaid,myvoiceharsherthanImeantittobe.
Myfatherwasthedevil.Hejustcovereditwellwithhisfakesmilesandfancysuitsforthepress.TheonlyplustoleavingthecitywasthatIwouldn’thavetoseehisfaceveryoften.Westillhadatonoffamilyobligations,andIwouldn’tbegettingoutofthosewithahelicopteraccessibletotakemetoandfromthecityatamoment’snotice
“RememberwhatItoldyouaboutanger,”hesaid,andthewayhepausedafterwardmadeitclearthathe’djustlithiscigarandwaspuffingaway.
ThemanhadCOPDandachronicsmoker’scough,yethe’dnevergoneadaywithouthiscigar.
“Yeah,yeah.Angeronlyhurtsthepersoncarryingit.Igotit.”Ireachedformycoffeeandtookasip.“How’ssemi-retirementtreatingyou?”
“Reallywell.Iemailedyousomethingthatcaughtmyinterest.MaraSkyeisaself-publishedauthorwhoismakingarealnameforherself,andwordonthestreetisshe’sshoppinghernextbookandisinterestedinatraditionaldeal.Imayormaynothavegottenthefirstfewchaptersofthebook,sowe’dhavefirstcrackatherifyouthinkit’sworthit.Butweweregivenaveryshortleadtime,sowe’dhavetoactquickly,asin—today.”Mygrandfatherkneweveryliteraryagentontheplanet,sowordonthestreetusuallymeantitwasactuallyhappening.“Ithoughtyoucouldfindsomeonetotakealookatit.Shewriteshistoricalromance,notmything,butIreadthefirstfewpages,andshe’sgotagreatvoice.MaybeNadiacouldtakealooktoday,becauseifwewanttomakeithappen,weshoulddoitbeforetheystartshoppingit.”
“Sure.I’llhaveherlookatitthismorning.I’llletyouknow,andthenperhapsyoucouldstopbeatingaroundthebushandgivemeheragent’sinformationsoIcanreachoutdirectly,”Isaid,shakingmyheadbecausethemanwasstillfindingwaystokeephisnoseinthebusiness.
“Letmeknowwhatyouthinkfirst,andI’llsetupthemeetinginthecityforyouandTedHagger,andmaybeI’lljustpopinforascotch.”Hebarkedoutalaugh.
“Ahhh,ofcourse,she’swithTedHagger.”Thedudewasatotaldouchebag,buthesomehowmanagedtosigneveryauthorwewanted.Icouldn’tstandtheman.“IthoughtGrandmotherwasgoingtokeepyouincheckwiththisretirementplan.”
“She’strying.Ican’thaveyourubbingTedwrong.You’restilllearninghowtocontrolthattemperofyours,andremember,wedon’tneedtoliketheagent.It’stheauthorwewant.So,ifthatmeansbowingdowntoTedHaggertomakethathappen,that’swhatyoudo.”
“Icanplaynice,Grandfather.”
“Sure,youcan,”hesaidoverhislaughterthatwasmixedwithaharshcough.“Youforgetthatyou’remefiftyyearsago.You’llcalmdownwithage.Whatyouneedisagoodwomantokeepyouincheck.Noneofthisplayboyshit.That’sforkids.”
Irolledmyeyes.Hewasoneofmyfavoritepeopleontheplanet,whichwassayingalotsincemostpeoplebuggedtheshitoutofme.Buthewasold-school.Hiswaywastherightway,theonlyway,whetheryouagreedwithhimornot.
“I’mdoingjustfine.I’llgetonthismanuscriptrightawayandkeepyouposted.”
“Allright.I’llspeaktoyoulatertoday.”
Wesaidourgoodbyes,andIpulledupmyemailandforwardedthefirstthreechapterstoNadia,andaskedhertogetonitimmediately.Shewasn’tmyfavoriteeditorattheofficebecauseshetendedtobeabitharshandwasquicktosaynoaftermanyyearsinthebusiness.Butherfortewasmainlyhistoricalromance,sothisshouldgotoher.
Therewasalightknockonthedoor,andIcalledoutforwhoeveritwastocomein.GeorgiaReynoldsstrolledinwithamuginherhandandmadeherwayovertome.Visionsofbendingherovermycherrywooddeskfilledmythoughts,andIinternallycursedmyself.
“Isawthatyouwereoffthephone,soIthoughtyoumightneedafreshcupofcoffee.”Shesetitdownandpickeduptheemptymug.Shewasfiguringoutmyhabitsquickly.Idrankaboutfourcupsofcoffeebeforelunch,andsheseemedtoknowrightwhenI’dneedthenextone.
“Thatwasthoughtfulofyou,”Isaid,myeyesroamingdownherbodybeforesnappingbackuptomeethersapphireeyes.
“WhatcanIsay,I’mathoughtfulgirl.”Shesmirked,headingformydoorasIwatchedherassswaybackandforthinherblackpencilskirt.
“Hey,haveyoueverheardofMaraSkye?”
Shewhippedaround,herjawfallingopenandaccentuatingherplump,pinklips.
AndIwonderedhowthey’dfeelwrappedaroundmycockthatwassuddenlythrobbingagainstmyzipper.
FuckingTinkwasgoingtobethedeathofme.fiveGeorgia
IgaspedandgapedandmadeallsortsofdramaticsoundsbeforeIfoundmyvoice.“HaveIheardofMaraSkye?”
“That’swhatIasked.Yes.”Heraisedabrow,lipspursedasthosedarkbrowneyesdrilledintome.
“Istheskyblue?IsMrs.Runitheranoldhorndog?”Ithrewmyfreehandintheair,tryingtothinkofanevenbetterexample.“Areyouastubborn,infuriatingman?”
Hebarkedoutalaugh.Anactuallaugh.Itwasalmostmoreshockingthanthequestionhe’djustaskedme.
“Well,Idon’tknowwhothefuckMrs.Runitheris,butI’mguessingshe’sahorndog.What’syourpoint,Tink?”
Ilikedthenicknamethathecalledme.Itwascute,anditmeanthewasgettingcomfortablewithme,evenifhismoodsweregivingmewhiplash.
“MaraSkyeisthemostbrilliantauthorI’veeverread.She’smyunicorn.Adefiniteone-clickauthorforme.”
“Idon’tknowwhatanyofthatmeans,butitsoundsgood.Howwouldyouliketotakealookatthefirstthreechaptersofanunreadmanuscriptthatwassubmittedtous?”
IstartedwalkingincirclesandtakingdeepbreathsbecauseifyouhadtoldmethreeweeksagothatI’dbehere,Iwouldneverhavebelievedit.IwasgoingtoreadtheunreadchaptersofMaraSkye?WhatuniversewasIlivingin?Itwasn’tthatlongagothatIwasinabarfightingwithmypsychoticex,whowassingingtherewithhisband,asherefusedtotellmewheremycarwas.
Andnow…IwasworkingatLancasterPressasthepersonalassistanttothesexiest,mostannoyingmanontheplanet,andhewasgoingtoletmereadthesesecretchapters.
Hellstotheyes.
“Iwouldlovetoreadthem.”Icametoastop,mylegsalittlewobblyfromalltheturning,butIletoutalongsigh.
Hislipsturnedupinthecornersjusttheslightestbit,whichI’dcometolearnwasasmuchofasmilefromMaddoxLancasterasyou’deverget.“Ijustemailedittoyou.But,thisisforyoureyesonly.Youcan’tsharethiswithanyone.AndNadiaislookingatitnow,aswell,andshewon’tbethrilledtoknowIletmyadminseeit,soyouonlyreportbacktome.Gotit?”
“Gotit,Bossman.Youwon’tregretthis.Iwillgiveyoudetailedfeedback.”Isalutedhimwithmyfreehand.
“I’msureyouwill.”
Ihurriedoutofhisofficeandracedovertomydesk,settinghisemptymugbesideme.Ipulledupthemanuscriptandstartedreading.
Andjustlikethat,IwasinIreland,anditwas1933.
ThiswomanwasthemostcaptivatingwriterI’deverread.Iwasenthralled.Iwantedmore.
Andhello,CaptainJoryWalker.
Herheroeswerealwaysalittlebitalphawithasideofchivalryandaheavysplashofdirtytalk.
Itypedupmynotes,rereadthemthreetimes,andthensentthemtoMaddox.
Therestofthemorningflewby,andIhurrieddownstairsformytwenty-minutechampionshipping-ponggame.Thedefendingchampionalwaysplayedthenewcontendereachday,andsofar,I’dstayedatthetopofthelistsincemyfirstdayworkinghere.
Thankstomyüber-competitivesiblings,Icouldhandlethepressure.Whenweplayedgames,weplayedtothedeath,andIdidn’tscareeasily.
IwentbackandforthwithFreddy,oneofthemarketingguys,foraveryshorttime,andIbeathimsoquicklythateveryonewasgivinghimahardtime.
“Sorry,Freddy.IwasjustonmyAgametoday.”Iwinced.
“Don’tapologize,Georgia.Youswearyouhaven’tplayedcompetitively?”heasked,andeveryonelaughed.
Ilovedtheofficeenvironment.Itwasalotoffun.Ofcourse,youhadyourofficebuzzkills,aseverycompanydid.NadiaWrightbeingatthetopofthatlist.Shewasinhermid-sixties,hadareallywickedcaseofrestingsourpussface,andshewasn’tafanofthegamesorthelaughtergoingonduringourlunchbreak—oranything,really.
“Nope.ButIdothinkthepickleballcompetitionspreparedmeforourping-pongtournaments,”Isaidovermylaughter.
“Maybeyou’rejusttalentedateverything,”Craigpurred.Themanwasatotalflirt.He’dmovedherefromthecityaspartofthemarketingteam,aswell.Hewasgood-looking,andheknewit.
“Isthatthebestyoucancomeupwith?”Sydneyrolledhereyes.Shewasmyfavoritenewfriendattheoffice.Shewasmyage,hadalsomovedherefromthecity,andwasoursocialmediaexpert.Sheworkedonallthegraphicsandteasersforthecompany.
IglanceduptoseegrumpyNadiacomingdownthestairsfromhermeetingwithMaddox,andIglanceddownatmyphonetocheckthetime.
“Gottogo,guys.I’llseeyouonmynextbreak.”Iwavedandrushedaway,andmybootiesclackedasIranupthemetalstairsbeforesettingmyphoneonmydesk.
“Tink,getinhere!”mybossshoutedfromhisoffice,andIhurriedinside.Themanwasimpatientanddemanding,yetIkindoflovedit.Icouldhandleanythinghethrewatme.
“What’swrong?”Iasked,andhemotionedformetoclosethedoorandcomeinside.
“Takeaseat.”Hepulledsomethinguponhismonitorandthenlookedatmefromtheothersideofhisdesk.“IreadthroughyournotesabouttheMaraSkyebook.Youreallylikeditthatmuch?”
“Likeisanunderstatement.Ithinkit’sgoingtobeherbestyet.Didyoureadit?”
“Idid.Ilikedit,too.ButNadiadidn’tcareforit,norissheafanofMara’swork.”
Myeyesbulgedoutofmyhead.Thewomanspecializedinhistoricalromance,andshedidn’tlikeMaraSkye?“IthinkNadiaWrightshouldchangehernametoNadiaWrong.”
Hebarkedoutalaugh,andthesoundwassostartlingIcouldn’thelpbutlaughalongwithhim.Thatwastwicetodaythathe’dlaughed.Iwantedtopatmyselfonthebackforthisenormousaccomplishment.
“Nadiahasanissuewithself-publishedauthorstobeginwith,soIhaveahunchthatmighthavemoretodowithitthantheactualwriting.”
“Yeah.Sheseemsprettytoughtoplease.”Irolledmyeyes.“Mara’swritingisall-consuming.Noonepullsmeinquitelikeher,andthisnewbookdiditinspades.Theonlyotherpersonthatcanhookmethatquicklyismycousin.”
“I’dliketotalktoheratsomepoint,ifyoueverwanttomakethathappen.We’dlovetoworkwithheronhernextseries,butheragentisn’tafanofmygrandfatherbecauseheturneddownafewsubmissionsthatshe’dfeltstronglyabout.ButI’mherenow,somaybeshe’dreconsider?”
“Icangetyouameeting,forsure.Ican’tpromiseyouanythingmorethanthat,butshe’dmeetwithyouwithoutquestion.She’sthebest.”
“Aren’tyoujustfullofsurprises?”
“Itrytobe,”Isaid,pushingtomyfeet.“Trustme,youdon’twantsomeoneelsetogetthisbookwithMara.She’sthebestofthebest.”
“I’llmakethecallnowandinquireabouttakingthenextstep.ButI’vegotanissueatthemoment,andIneedyoutofigureitout.”
“What’swrong?”
“IhaveaZoommeetingwiththeboardofdirectorsinanhour,andIleftmysportscoatathomethismorning.Hilda’ssick,soshe’snottheretorunitovertome,andIhaveacallwithArthurHobbsinfiveminutes,soIdon’thavetimetoleave.”
“Givemeyourkeys,”Isaid,movingtowardhisdesk.“I’llgopickitup.Justtellmewhereitisandwhatyouwant,andI’llbebackbeforeyouknowit.”
Henarrowedhisgazeashestudiedme.“HowdoyouknowwhereIlive?”
“It’sCottonwoodCove,Bossman.Youboughtthelargesthouseintown.Everyoneknowswhereyoulive.”
Hesqueezedthebackofhisneckandnodded.“Allright.I’lltextyouthecodetothegatetogetontothepropertyandthenthecodeformykeypadonthegarage.Primarybedroomisdownstairs,andmyclosetisoffthebathroom.”
“IthinkI’mcapableoffindingthecloset.”Iplacedmyhandsonmyhips.“WhatamIbringingback?”
“Mysportscoatsarealltogetheronthefar-leftsideofthecloset.Getmethenavytweedcoat.Anddon’tbesnoopingaround,”hesaid,raisingabrow,buthislipstwitchedagain,whichmeanthewasteasingme.
“I’llmakeadealwithyou.GetmeafewmorechaptersofMara’sbook,andI’llbebackwiththatjacketinnotime.”
“Oh,you’recallingtheshotsnow?”
“Ithinkyouknowtalentwhenyouseeit.That’sallI’msaying,”Isaid,walkingbackwardtowardthedoor.
Thewayhiseyesroamedmybodyhadmesqueezingmythighstogether.Heunbuttonedhissleevesandrolledthemupafewtimes,exposinghisforearms,andthemovewassosexyInearlylostmybalance,butIstraightenedquickly.
“Go.Getbackbeforemymeeting,”hedemanded,andIpulledthedoorclosedbehindme.
IgrabbedmycoatandhurriedbackdownstairsandslippedontoScooty.Yes,I’dnamedhim.Igrewattachedtothingseasily.Ipulledmyhelmetonovermyhatanddroppedmypurseintothebasketbehindmyseat.Luckily,itwasn’tsnowinganymore,andthesunwasout.Islippedonmysunglassesandmademywaytothebighouseontopofthehill.Iglancedaroundafewtimes,makingsuremysiblingsweren’tontheroad.I’dmanagedtokeepScootyhiddenthusfar.HughwouldhaveafitifhefoundoutIwasridingascootertowork.HethoughttheLancastersweresendingacarformeeachmorning,whichwaswhyIhadtogetoutofthehousesoearlybeforetheycaughtmerunningdownthestreettomyscooter.
Justanotherdayinthelifeofagirlwhohadtohidethefactthatherex-boyfriendhadstolenhercar.
Iapproachedthepropertyandtypedinthecodetotheirongatethatsurroundedtheestate.Oncetheyopened,Irolledupthecirculardriveway,mymouthgapingopenasItookitin.I’dseenthehousefromadistance,butIhadn’tbeenthisclosetoitbeforetonoticeallthestoneworkanddetail.ThepositioningofthehouseallowedforwhatIcouldonlyimaginewasanepicwaterview.Thefrontdoorwasadarkwood,anditlookedgrandandheavy.Iparkedmyscooterinfrontofthegarage,whichwasalsoadarkwoodwithblackmetalaccents.
IreachedformyphoneandpulledoffmyglovesasItypedinthegaragedoorcode.Evenhisgaragewasgrand.Theflooringwasawhiteshinyconcretewithspecklesofblackandgold.Therewererusticlightshangingabove,andhehadthreesportscarsparkedinhere,whichIfiguredwasthereasonhe’dofferedmetoborrowoneofhiscars,whichI’dobviouslyrefused.
Ihurriedinside,knowingIneededtobeinandoutofhereandbackonmyscooterintwenty-fiveminutestomakeitbacktotheofficeontime.
Darkwoodfloorsranthroughoutthehouse,andrusticbeamssimilarincolorhungontheceilingabove.Icouldn’thelpbutlookinthekitchenreallyquick,anditwasasbreathtakingastherestofthehouse.Darkwoodcabinetswithtwograndblackislandsandwhitestonecountertopsthroughout.Manlyyettotallystylish.
Thehousewasfurnishedlikesomethingoutofamagazine,sohe’dclearlyhaditprofessionallydecorated.
IrandownthehallwaytowhereIassumedhisbedroomwas,andIpausedasItookitin.Theentirebackwallwascoveredinwindowswithviewsoftheocean.Hishousewassetonahill,soitwouldbeatrekdowntothewater,butIimaginedyoucouldseeitfromeveryroominthehouse.Copperbeddingcoveredthefour-posterbed,andIwastemptedtogojumponitjustforshitsandgiggles,butIwasaprofessional—Icouldn’tdoanythingsochildish,couldI?
IchuckledasIwalkedintohisbathroomandtookintheblacklanternsthathungabovethegrandspace.Therewasawalk-inshowerthatcouldholdtwentypeoplealongwithanoversizedfreestandingtub.
I’dneverseenanythinglikeit.I’dneverbeenveryimpressedbymoney,norcaredaboutthingslikethisbecauseIlovedthehomeIgrewupin,andI’dneverwantedforanything.
Asidefromthehopeofgettingmycarback.
Butthiswas…awholedifferentworld.
I’dgetlostinaplacelikethis.
IimmediatelywonderedifMaddoxevergotlonelyhere.IthinkI’dbescaredlivinginaplacelikethisbymyself,asafootballteamcouldbehidingoutinahouseofthissize,andyouwouldn’tknowit.
ButforallIknew,hedidn’tspendhisnightsalone.Maybehehadagirlfriend.Hehadn’tsharedhisprivatelifewithme.Sure,wespentalotoftimetogetherwithhimtellingmewhattodoeverysecondoftheday,butitwasneverpersonal.
Maybehehadawoman.
Orlotsofwomen.
Istrolledintotheclosetandcametoanabrupthalt.Ididn’tneedtoturnthelightsonbecausetheywereonsomesortofsensor,andtheentireclosetlitupwhenIsteppedinside.
Holyhell.
ThiswasnotsomethingI’deverevenseeninthemoviesorinamagazine.IquicklyFaceTimedBrinkley,andsheanswered,butshewaswhispering.
“Whyareyouwhispering?”Iasked.
“I’mjustheadingintoameeting.Wherethehellareyou?”ShekepthervoicelowwhenIturnedthecameraandscannedthecloset.
“Bossman’shouse.Heneedsacoatforhismeeting.Lookatthisplace.”
“Damn.He’sevengotanottomantositonwhenyouputonyourshoes.Myapartmentisthesizeofapostagestamp,soIcanbarelyfindaplacetositinthefamilyroom.”Shechuckled,stillkeepinghervoicelow.
“Ohmygosh.There’saspeakerformusic.IthinkImightneedtohavealittlefun.Gotoyourmeeting.I’llcallyoulater.”
“Don’tgetintrouble,”shesaid,usinghernormalvoicenow,whichwaswellaboveawhisper,andIlaughedbeforeendingthecall.
Iconnectedmyphonetohisspeakerandhitplayonmyfavoriteseventiesplaylist.Myeyescaughtonanentiresectionofbaseballcapswithlightingaboveeachshelf.Therewasasectionforsuits,andevenhisjeanswerepressedandhungperfectlyintheirownarea.Hehadanentireshelfforcufflinksandcologneandalltheothermanlystuffthatwealthypeopleapparentlyhad.
Ifoundaverycool-lookingbrownsuedecowboyhatsittingonashelfbyitself,andIpoppeditonmyheadandglancedinthemirror.
“You’reright,Mom.I’veyettofindahatthatdoesn’tworkforme.”Ichuckledtomyselfas“I’mComingOut”byDianaRossplayedthroughthespeaker.IpausedwhenIfoundhisnavysportscoat,andthenIhungitonthedoorbeforemygazecaughtonthemostluxuriousblackvelvetsuitjacket.Islippedmyarmsthroughthesleevesandmoanedathowsoftandwarmitwas,evenifitcompletelyengulfedme.
Andthenoneofmyall-timefavoritesongscameon…andIknewwhatthatmeant.
Danceparty.sixMaddox
Thisdayhadturnedintoashitshow.ArthurHobbshadgottenonthecallandthenabruptlytoldmehewasnauseousandproceededtodryheaveintothephonebeforeviolentlyvomitingwhileIwasonspeakerphone.I’dlethimknowwecouldrescheduleandendedthecall,notevencertainhe’dheardme.
Ididn’tdowellwithgaggingandheaving,andIusedthattimetotakealookatGeorgia’snotesagain.I’dreadthethreechaptersofMara’swork,andIagreedwithmyassistant.Eventhoughthatwasn’tthegenreItypicallyread,IknewgoodworkwhenIreadit.ItwasagiftI’dbeengivenfrommygrandfather,whowasaniconicmaninthepublishingworld.
Nadiahadtornaparttheopening,whichwasnearperfectioninmyopinion.So,I’dgottenonthephonewithmygrandfatherandtoldhimaboutmyassistantbeinganavidreaderandlovingthesubmissionandthatIagreedwithher.
He’dheardTedwasgoingtoshopthisstorytootherhousesstartingtomorrow,sohetoldmetorescheduletheboardmeeting,andhe’dbookedameetingwiththatdickheadTedHaggerinthecityfordinner.Hetoldmetobringmyassistantandtakethehelicopterandnottobelate.
Theproblemwas,mygoddamnassistantwasn’tansweringherphone.Inolongerneededthejacketshe’dgonetoget,butwe’dbothneedtopackabagandgetourassesonthehelicopterinanhour.
Ijumpedinmycaranddrovebacktomyhouse,findingherridiculousscooterparkedinmydriveway.Itinfuriatedmethatshedrovethatthing,evenafterI’dofferedheratemporaryloaner,asIhadmultiplecars,andshe’dturnedmedown.Shewasattachedtothestupidthingshewasdriving,andshesaidshedidn’tneedhandouts.
Well,sheneededagoddamncar,andIdidn’tcarehowshegotit.
Ijoggedinside,andwhenIopenedthedoor,musicboomedthroughmyentirehouse.
Whattheactualfuck?
Wasshethrowingaparty?
IheldupmyphoneandShazamedthesongandshookmyhead.
“SlowRide”byFoghat.
Hertasteinmusicwasasbadashertasteintransportation.
Imovedthroughmybedroomandintothebathroom,pausingasIstoodagainstthewallwithaviewintomycloset.Shecouldn’tseeme,butIcouldseeherperfectly.
Shewasstandingontopofmyleatherottomaninherbooties,whichwasanargumentforanothertime,becauseIwouldn’tcarerightnowifshe’dspray-paintedthewalls.
Iwascompletelymesmerized.
Shewaswearingmyblackvelvetjacketthatcoveredthebacksofherthighs,becauseallIcouldseewasasetofgorgeouslegsandherbooties.Maybeshewasnakedbeneath?Thatwouldbequitethefantasy.ShehadacowboyhatonherheadthatI’dneverworn,butitwasmygrandfather’s,andhe’dgivenittome.
Shebeltedoutthelyricstothesong,whichwouldnowgodownasmyall-timefavoritesongforever.Shedancedandwiggledandshookherass.
Fullyinvestedinherperformance.
Aslowerparttothesongstartedtoplay,andshebentherkneesandturnedjustenoughformetoseeherplayingtheairguitar,andInearlyblewmycoverwhenIrealizedshewasholdingacanofshavingcreaminherhand,whichshewasclearlyusingashermicrophone,andshetosseditdownontheottoman.
Shebrokeoutintothechorusbeforedoingsomesortofrockstarjumpthroughtheairandlandingonthefloorandthenspinninginmydirectionwhenhergazelockedwithmine.
Shesangthewordsonemoretime,hervoicemuchsofter.“Oh,heythere,Bossman.Um,Iwasjustheadingback.”
Shehurriedtowardmyspeakerandturneditoff,andtheroomfellsilent,asidefromtheheavypantingcomingfromhermouth.Imovedinsidethecloset.Herchestwasrisingandfallingfromherstadium-worthyperformance,andsheblinkedupatmeafewtimes.
“Onascaleofonetoten,howmuchtroubleamIin?”
Fuck.Iwantedtolayheroutonthatottomanandburymyfacebetweenherthighs.
Touchherandtasteherandmakehercryoutmyname.
Mychestpressedagainsthers,andItippedthehatbacksoIcouldseehereyes.“Thislooksgoodonyou.”
“Ibetitwouldlookmuchbetteronyou,”shewhispered.Thescentoforangeblossomandcinnamonfloodedmysystem.“Iwasjustgrabbingyourcoat,andIgotalittledistracted.”
“Icanseethat.”
“Areyoumad?”Hertongueswipedoutandranalongherplumpbottomlip,andmydickdoubledinsizeasheragedagainstmyzipper.
Backthefuckoff,man.
Sheworksforyou.
She’stoosweet.Toogood.Tootempting.
Completelyoff-limits.
Ibackedaway,reachedforthehatonherhead,andsetitontheshelfwhereitbelonged.
“NotexactlywhatItoldyoutodo.Butwedon’thavetimetoargueaboutit.”Islippedmyhandbeneaththeblackvelvetjackettohelpheroutofit,andmyfingertipsgrazedthesoftskinofherneck,andIabruptlytuggedthecoatoffher.ImovedacrosstheclosetandgrabbedmyovernightbagandtossedinafewitemsofclothingbeforegrabbingafreshsuitthatI’dweartonight.Ihadatoiletrybagreadytogo,asItraveledoften,andmyassistantstoodtherequietlyforthefirsttimesinceI’dmether.
“Let’sgotoyourhouse.Youneedtopackabag.”
“Ineedtopackabag?”Shejoggedtokeepupwithmeaswemadeourwaythroughthehouse.“You’reforcingmeoutofCottonwoodCove?”
IwasgladIhadmybacktoherbecauseIcouldfeelthesmilespreadacrossmyface.Shewascuteashell,andIenjoyedmessingwithher.
Ipulledthefrontdooropenassheslippedintohercoatandfoundherglovesandhatonmyentrytable.Imotionedforhertostepoutsideandwalkedtowardmycarbeforepullingthepassengerdooropen.
“Ihavemyowncarhere,”shesaid,lookingatmelikeIhadthreeheads.
“Youdon’thaveacar.”
“Myactualcarisintheshop,andthisismy—”Icutheroffbeforeshecouldfinish.Iheldmyhandsuptostopher.
“Inthecar.Now,”Igrowled.
Shedidn’tevenhaveasmart-asscomeback.Shejustclimbedinside,andIraisedabrow,waitingforhertobuckleherselfin.
“Whatareyou?Myfather?”
“I’myourfuckingboss.Buckleup.Now.”
Sheglaredatmeandreachedforherbelt,andIslammedthedoor.ShewasthemostinfuriatingwomanI’devermet.Arguingaboutdrivingafuckingmotorizedbicycleinthemiddleofwinter.IknewherbrotherownedReynolds’,themostpopularrestaurantandbarinCottonwoodCovebecauseitwasallanyoneinthisgodforsakentowntalkedabout.I’dbemakingavisittherethisweekandaskinghimhowhewasokaywithhissister’scurrenttransportationsituation.
BecauseIhardlyknewher,andIwasn’tokaywithit.
Iopenedmytrunkandwalkedovertohermotorizedpieceofshitandremovedthehelmetfromthehandlebarsbeforepickingthewholethingupandmaneuveringitintomytrunk.Itwasdefinitelyheavierthanabicycle,butstill,itofferedhernoprotection.
Iclosedthetrunkandclimbedintothedriver’sseat,startingthecarupandpullingoutofthedriveway.
“Wheredoyoulive?”
“Why?”sheasked,turningtofaceme.“Itwasjustafreakingsong.You’reoverreacting.Haveyouneverperformedintheclosetortheshowerortheprivacyofyourownhome?”
“Whatthefuckareyoutalkingabout?”Ihissed.“Doyoueverjustanswerasimplequestionwithoutaskingoneinreturn?”
“AreyoureallyfiringmebecauseIdancedinyourover-the-top,fancy,pretentiouscloset?Newsflash,Genius:Noteveryonehasaclosetlikethat.So,Ihadalittlefun.Sueme.No,whydon’tyoujustfireme?I’vedoneeverythingyou’veaskedofmeforthelasttwoweeks.I’vecomeearlyeverysingleday.I’vebroughtdonutsandcookies,andI’mthemostdominantping-pongplayerinthatgoddamnoffice.I’vebeenfriendlywitheveryonewhoworksthere,andI’vemanagedtoignoreNadiaWrong’scondescendingcomments.I’vemadesureyourcoffeeisfresheverytwoandahalfhoursbecausemysisterBrinkleysaidthat’sthecutoffforstalecoffee.Irushedout,inthecold,mindyou,togetyourstupidblazer,eventhoughyoubashmyformoftransportationconstantly…”Shewasshouting,andthenherwordsbrokeonasob,andIswervedtothesideoftheroadandputthecarinpark.
“NadiaWrong,huh?”Isaid,tryingtomakelightofiteventhoughmygoddamnchestsqueezedatthesightofherwithtearsstreamingdownherfaceandherbottomliptrembling.
Itphysicallypainedmetoseeherupset.
Iwasnotamanwhoreactedtothesightofawomancryingthatway.
Itwasnormallymycuetotapout.
Getthehelloutofthere.
Butforwhateverreason,Iwasfightingtheurgetopullherclose.
“That’swhatyoutookfromallofthat?”Sheswipedathercheeksandshookherhead.
“It’sveryfitting.”Ileanedforward,usingthepadofmythumbtoswipebeneathhereyes,oneatatime.“Stopcrying.Now.”
“Youcan’ttellmetostopcrying.”Shethrewherhandsintheair.
“Ican,andIjustdid.So,yourargumentisalreadyflawed,perusual,Tink.”
“I’mnotgivingyoumyaddressuntilyoutellmewhyyou’refiringme.”Herbottomliptrembled.
“Forfuck’ssake.I’mnotfiringyou.We’regoingtothecity.Youneedabagbecausewe’restayingthenight.”
“I’mgoingtothecity?Withyou?”Hereyeswidenedasshewaitedforananswer.
“Correct.We’remeetingwithMaraSkye’sagent.He’sanasshole,butweneedtoclosethisdealbeforeheshopsit.So,couldyoupleasetellmetheaddresstoyourhomesoyoucangrababag?We’lldiscusstherestofyourinsultsonthehelicopter.”
Shenodded.“Takethisstreetdowntothestopsignandmakearight.”
Sheproceededtodirectmetoherhouseandthenaskedmetopullover.
“Isthisit?”Iasked,glancingoutthewindowattheranchhousesetonalargelotthatwasagoodtwohundredfeetfromwhereI’dstoppedthecar.
“Umm…youknowhowyouaskedmetoansweraquestionandnotaskonemyself?”
“Yes.Weneedtogetgoing,Tink.Idon’thavetimeforgames.”
Shebitdownonherbottomlipandfidgetedwithherhands.“Ineedtotakethescooterouthere.Mybrotherlivestwoblocksaway,andI’mstayinginhiscasita.It’slikeaguestroomwithitsownentrance.”
“Iknowwhatacasitais.Whythefuckarewetakingoutyourhunkofjunktwoblocksfromhishouse?”
“Becausetheydon’tknowthatIdrivethis.Idon’twantmyfamilytoworryaboutme.Theythinkmycarisintheshop.”
Igroaned.Everythingwaslikeafuckingriddlewiththisgirl.“Whereisyourfuckingcar?Nomorestories.Justspititout.Youcantellme.”
Sheletoutalongbreathandlookedoutthewindowbeforelookingbackatme.“Myex-boyfrienddidn’ttakeourbreakupwell,andhestolemycarrightbeforeIgraduatedandcamehome.Hewon’tgiveitbacktome.So,everyonethinksit’sintheshop.IboughtthescootertogetmetoandfromworkuntilIfigureoutwhattodo.”
Myhandsfistedinmylap.ImadeanefforttocalmmyselfdownbeforeIspoke.“Howdidhestealthecar?”
“Hetookthekeys,andhehasithiddensomewhere.Iwenttothebarwhereheandhisbandperforminthecitytwiceandtriedtogethimtotellmewhereitis,buthewon’tgiveitbackuntilhegetswhathewants.”
“Whothefuckdoesthat?Whatdoeshewant?”
“Hewantstogetbacktogether.”Sheshrugged.
Iranahanddownmyface.Thiswascompletelyunacceptable.Thisdickheadwasholdinghercarhostage,andthatshitwouldnotflywithme.
“What’shisname?Andwhat’sthenameofhisband?”
“Why?”
“Youjustdiditagain.Youansweredmyquestionwithaquestion.Ifyouwantmetogetthatfuckingglorifiedbikewithamotoroutofmycarandleaveithere,youneedtotellmehisnamenow.”
“DikotaSmith.AndhisbandisTheBurnout.”
“Wasthatsodifficult?”Igrumpedbeforegettingoutofmycarandyankingthepieceofshitoutofthetrunkandparkingitthere.
Weweresilentaswedrovetoherbrother’shouse,andIwaitedinthecarassheraninsidetopackherovernightbag.ItookthattimetocallWeston,amanwho’dworkedformyfamilyformanyyears.Hewassortofaprivateinvestigatorslashbodyguardslashfix-it-man.Adudeofmanytalents,Iguessyoucouldsay.Hewasonmyfather’spayrollatalltimesbecausemydadhadatendencytoneedalotofcleanupinhislife.
Ifilledhiminonthesituationandaskedtoseewhathecouldfindout.I’dbeinthecitytonight,andIhadnoproblemgoingandhavingachatwithhershitheadex-boyfriend.
I’dbegettingthatcarbackifitwasthelastthingIdid.
Iwasherboss,afterall.
ItwastheleastIcoulddo.sevenGeorgia
I’dsprintedinsidethehouseandpackedmynicestblackdressfordinnerandgrabbedapairofheels.AmeetingwithanagentinthecitywasdefinitelynotsomethingIcouldwearbootiesto.Itossedinmypajamasandachangeofclothesfortomorrowbeforegatheringallmymakeupandtoiletriesandtossingthemintoabagbeforehurryingbackoutside.
Thisdayhadbeenexhausting,andnowIwasheadingtothecityonahelicoptertomeetwithmyfavoriteauthor’sagent.
I’dbeencaughtbymybossdancinginhisclosetwhilewearinghiscoatandhat.
Thathadtogodownastheworld’smostembarrassingmomenttodate.
Well,unlessitwasbeatoutbythefactthatI’djustcriedinfrontofhimbecauseIthoughthe’dfiredme.AndthenI’dbeenforcedtofillhiminonmyblackmailingex-boyfriend.
Ifyoulookeduptrainwreckinthedictionaryrightnow,there’dbeaphotoofme,holdingacanofshavingcreamanddancinginmygrumpyboss’scloset.
We’ddrivenbacktotheofficeinsilence,andhe’dhurriedmeupthestairsandthroughasidedoorIhadn’tevenknownwasthere,whichledtotherooftopofthebuildingwherehekepthishelicopter.
Iwasgettingacrashcourseinthelifestyleoftherichandfamoustoday.Closetsthatwerelargerthanmyentireapartmentbackinthecityandhelicopterpadsontopofbuildings.
Maddoxhadbothofourbagsinhishandandrestedhisfreehandonthesmallofmybackasheledmetowardthehelicopter.AmanwhointroducedhimselfasBenjaminstoodoutsideandopenedthedoorandnoddedatmeasIclimbedinside.
Oncewewerein,thetwomenexchangedafewwords,thenwewereupintheairandI’dyettospeakaword.
“Youokay?”Heleanedclose,andhislipsgrazedmyear.Isqueezedmylegstogetherandglancedoutthewindowbeforelookingathim.
“Yeah.Ididn’tletmyfamilyknowIwasleaving.”
Hestudiedmeforamomentasifthethoughtofmyfamilynotknowingmywhereaboutswasaforeignconcepttohim.“Whydon’tyousendthematext.”
Inodded.Isentmyparentsaquicktextlettingthemknowandthenjumpedintothesiblinggroupchat.
Hey.I’minahelicopter,headingtothecityforwork.I’llbehometomorrow.
Brinkley
Fancyclosetsandnowyou’reinahelicopter?Go,Georgie,go.
Finn
DidImissaconversation?Whatarewetalkingabout?
Cage
Thisiswhyyoushouldn’tgetadog.Youcan’tjustleaveanytimeyouwantwhenyouhaveadog.#teachablemoment
Hugh
Stopbeinga#buzzkill,brother.Havefuninthecity.
Brinkley
Whereareyoustaying?Ibetit’ssomewhereswanky!
“We’restayingattheFourSeasons,”Maddox’sdeepvoicesaidasheleanedovermyshoulderandreadmytexts.
Iquicklyputmyphonedowninmylapandshothimalook.
“It’snotingoodtastetoreadsomeone’stextsovertheirshoulder.”
“Saysthewomanwhojustdancedaroundmycloset.ForallIknow,youweresniffingmyboxers,”hesaid,hishandbrushingagainstmine,andIdidn’tpullaway.Weweresittingawfullycloseinthebackofthehelicopter,andtherewasasuddendip,whichmademejumpandsquealatthesametime.
Benjaminglancedoverhisshoulderandapologized,andMaddoxchuckledbeforehispointerfingerstrokedthebackofmyhand.“You’reallright.”
Therewereafewmoredips,andIgaspedacouplemoretimesbeforeIturnedandburiedmyfaceinhischestuntilwewereontheground.
Letmetellyou,sageandsandalwoodhadawayofsoothingthenerves.Themansmelledlikestrengthandconfidenceandsexyman.AndIwashereforit.
Oncewewereontheground,hetippedmebackandclearedhisthroat,andIstraightened.
“Sorryaboutthat.I’mnotusedtothisformoftransportation.”Ireachedformypurseandunbuckledmyself.
“Saysthewomanwhodrivesanunsafe,shittypieceofmetalaroundtown.”
IrolledmyeyesandsteppedoffwhenBenjaminopenedthedoor.“Thanksfortheride,Benjamin.Thoselittlesqueakshadnothingtodowithyou;theywereallaboutme.”
Hechuckled.“I’llseeyoutomorrow.Havefuntonight.”
Therewasacarwaitingforusjustafewfeetaway.“Wow.You’vegotallsortsofpeoplewaitingonyouhere,huh?”
“That’stheonebenefittothemoveoutoftown.Icandrivemyowncar.Havesomeprivacy.Nopressinmybusiness.”
“Ahhh…thelifeofawealthysocialite,”Iteasedaswebothslippedintothebackofthecar.MaddoxintroducedmetoJaydenthedriver,andwesaidaquickhello.“What’sthedownsidetoCottonwoodCove?Notenoughhotwomen?”
Heglancedoveratmeandlookedlikehewasgoingtosaysomething,buthestoppedhimself.“Imissthefoodinthecity.Meetingwomenhasneverbeenaproblemforme.”
Iwantedtocallhimoutforbeingcocky,butIknewitwasthetruth.Themansmelledlikesexonastick,hewasagoodfoottallerthanmewithbroadshouldersandahardbody,afacethatshouldbesplayedacrossamen’sfashionmagazine,andhehadaclosetthatmostwomenwouldgiveakidneyfor.
Hewasthewholedamnpackage.
Andhewasclearlybrilliant,becausehe’dlistenedtomeaboutMaraSkyeoverhisglass-half-emptyeditorwho,wassupposedtobeaprofessional.
“HowaboutItreatyoutoReynolds’whenwegethome?”Isaid.Heraisedabrow,andIquicklyexplainedthatIwasn’tmeaningitasadate.“Imean,asaprofessionalcourtesy.Youtookmyadviceaboutthebook,andI’mgrateful.AndagoodslabofribswillhaveyousingingthepraisesofthefoodinCottonwoodCove.”
“Firstofall,youaren’ttreating.I’myourboss.”
“Easythere,alphadog.Mybrotherownstheplace.Iwasjustbeingashow-off.Iwouldn’tactuallybepaying.”Ichuckled,andJaydenbarkedoutalaughfromthefrontseat,earninghimawarninglookfromMaddox.
“Gladweclearedthatup.Secondly,Ireadthefirstthreechapters,andIagreedwithyou.That’sthereasonwe’regoingtothismeeting.Andlastly,I’mabitofafoodsnob,soit’llbehardtoswayme.”Hepausedwhenthecarpulledinfrontoftheswankyhotel.“Okay,here’stheplan.Youhaveyourownroom,asdoI.We’llgochangeclothesandthenmeetdownstairsinanhour.”
“You’restayinghere,too?”
“WouldyoupreferIdidn’t?”Herolledhiseyes.
“No.Ijustassumedyouhadahomehere.Oracondoorapenthouseorsomethinglikethat.”
Jaydenopenedthedoor,andMaddoxmotionedformetogetout.Wesaidourgoodbyestothedriverandthenmadeourwayinside.MaddoxLancasterwassomesortofbigshothereinthecity,becausefromthemomentwesteppedinsidethelobby,everyonehustledaroundus.
Theygavehimhiskeys,tookourbags,andheledmetotheelevatorslikehe’dstayedheremanytimesbefore.
Oncewewereontheelevator,hestoodontheoppositewallfromme.IleaneddowntosmellmypitstomakesureIdidn’tstinkbecausehesurewaskeepinghisdistancenowthatweweren’tonthehelicopter.
Nope.
Ismelledlikeanorangecreamsicle.
Everybodylovesacreamsicle,right?
“Idohaveanapartmenthere,butwearen’tstayinglongenoughformetogothere.Ourmeetingishere,soI’lljuststaythenightatthehotel,aswell.”
“Hmmm…youmuststayhereoftenbecausethehotelstaffsureseemstoknowyou.”
Hismouthremainedinastraightline.“Mygrandfatherownstheplace.Igrewupcominghere.”
“Damn.Mygrandfatherownsanappleorchard,whichIthoughtwasprettycool,butaFourSeasonsisimpressive.”
“Realestatedevelopersowneachindividualproperty,andtheFourSeasonsoperatesthem.Mygrandfatherinvestsinthingsthathethinkswillbeprofitable.So,ifitwasagoodbuy,he’dbethefirsttogobbleupanappleorchard,too.”
Thedoorsopened,andhemotionedformetostepoff.
“Goodtoknow.Ithoughtyouweregoingtosayyoubringallyourladieshere.Thatyou’reoneofthoseguyswhodoesn’ttakewomentohishomeandjustmeetsthemathisswankyhotelroom.”IwaggledmybrowswhenhepausedatthedoorandlookedatmelikeIhadthreeheads.
“You’vebeenreadingalotoffiction,Isee.AndyouseemalittleconsumedbywhoIspendtimewithoutsideofwork,”hesaid.Itwasn’taquestion.Itwasastatement.
“Don’tflatteryourself.Ijustfiguredagood-lookingmanlikeyourselfwhohasaccesstothefinesthotelinthecity…itseemslikeagoodplaceto…”IshruggedbecauseIdidn’tknowwhyIwassayingthisaloud.
Hemovedcloser,crowdingmeasmybackhitthedoorofwhatIassumedwasmyroom,seeingaswe’dstoppedhere.“Good-looking,huh?”
“Idon’tthinkit’sasecret.Thepresshasdubbedyouthehottestbachelorintown.”Mytongueswipedouttowetmylipswhichwerecompletelydrynow,andItriedtoplayitcoolwithashrug.
“Areyoukeepingtabsonme,Tink?”
“Iworkforyou.It’smyjobtoknowwhatyoudoandwhoyou…whatever.”
“WhoIfuck?”Heraisedabrow.
Isuckedinabreath,alittleshockedathisnearnessandthatwewerespeakingtooneanotherlikethis.
Hesmirkedandsteppedback.“Catgotyourtongue?”
“No.I’mfine.AndIdon’tcarewhoyou…fuck.”
“Good.Keepitthatway.Idon’tdatewomenwhoworkforme.”
Amaniacallaughescapedmylipsashesidesteppedmeandslippedthekeyintothedoor.“Please.Youaremostdefinitelynotmytype.”
“That’sright.Youdateguyswhostealyourcarandblackmailyou.”Hepushedthedooropenandhandedmethekeyjustastheguywithourbagscamewalkingdownthehall.Maddoxleaneddownclosetomyear.“Butfortherecord,Tink,I’meveryone’stype.”
Maddoxstoodthereholdingthedooropen,andItoldtheconciergewhichbagwasmineandthenfollowedhiminsidebeforehemadehiswayacrossthehalltowhatlookedlikethecornersuite.
“Youcantaketheotherbagacrossthehall.”Maddoxmotionedtohisdoorbeforeturningbacktome.“I’llseeyouinforty-fiveminutes.You’llbetakingnotesandobserving.”
Ididn’tsayanything.Ijustletthedoorclosebehindmeandmovedacrosstheroomandfellontomybed.
Mybosswasabitofaconundrum.
Broodyandmysterious,yetprotectiveandthoughtfulatthesametime.
Heclearlyhadahealthyego.
Myphonevibrated,andIpulleditoutofmypurse.
Dikota
Youcan’tignoremeforever,baby.Eventually,you’llwantyourcarback
Igroanedandtossedmyphoneontothebedbeforemakingmywaytothebathroom.Tonightwasabignight.
Ihadaseatatthetableinameetingthatcouldleadtosomethingamazing
Iwasn’tgoingtoworryaboutmycrazyex,mycurrentcarsituation,orthefactthatmybosswasconsumingmyeverythought.
Bothawakeandasleep.
I’dhadadirtydreamaboutthebastardlastnight.
Probablybecausewewerespendingsomuchtimetogetherandhehadawayofgettingundermyskin.
Althoughinmydream,hewasn’tundermyskin.Hewasburiedbetweenmythighs.
IhadahunchBossmanknewhowtopleaseawoman.
ButI’dbekeepingthosethoughtstomyself.eightMaddox
ItextedGeorgiatoletherknowIwasheadingdowntothebarandtomeetmethere.Shestrolledinwearingablackdressandsomehot-as-fucknudeheels.
Nobootiestoday.
Herhairwaspulledbackandtiedinsomesortofknotatthenapeofherneck,andshelookedfuckingstunning.
Professional.Sexy.
Fuckingbreathtaking.
I’dkeptmyfaceneutral,notwantingtoletherseethatIwaspantingontheinside.Forfuck’ssake,thiswasmyemployee.Myassistant.
Iwasnotacliché—thattitlehadalwaysbelongedtomyfather.
“So,unlesshedirectlyasksyouaquestion,justtakenotesandnod.Whenwe’redealingwithguyslikeTedHagger,thelesswesay,thebetter.Lethimdothetalking.Lethimtalkhimselfintoafuckingcorner.WejustneedagreenlightthatwecansignMara,andthenwedon’tsayanotherword.That’showdealsgetlost.”
“Gotit,Bossman.I’mready.I’llbetheperfectassistant.You’llhardlyknowI’mthere.”Shechuckled,andIrolledmyeyes.
Butthesmelloforangeblossomsandcinnamonwasfloodingmysystem,sotherewasnochanceinhellIwouldn’tknowshewasthere.
“There’smyboy.”Mygrandfather’sgruffvoicepulledmefrommyunprofessionalthoughts.
Ipushedtomyfeet,andsodidGeorgia.
“Goodtoseeyou.”Ipulledhiminforahug.“Thisismyassistant,GeorgiaReynolds.ItoldyouthatshewasabigfanofMara’swork.”
Heclaspedherhandinhis,andheraisedabrowashetookherin.
Shewasstunning,nodoubtaboutit.
“Well,Ithinkyou’llbeverypleasedtoknowthatMaraSkyeisactuallyjoiningustonight,”hesaid.
Georgia’smouthfellopen.Herplump,pinklipsmakingaperfectO.Thoughtsoffillingthatsweetmouthwith—
Oh,forfuck’ssake.
Ineededtopullmyshittogether.
Iwasn’tthatguy.Womendidn’taffectme.Iwaspoliteenough,aconsiderateloverwhoalwayspleasedmywomenbeforemyself,butIdidn’tgapeorfantasizeorthinkofanythingbeyondthatmoment.
Anicedinner,lightconversation,andagreatfuckingrompinthehay.
Thatwasme.
Noattachments.
Ever.
“MaraSkyeiscomingtodinnertonight?”Georgiawhisperedandwrappedbothherhandsaroundmygrandfather’shand,whichheclearlyfoundendearingbecausehebeameddownather.
“Sheis.”Hesmiledbeforeturningwhensomeonecalledouthisname.TedHaggerstrolledintothebarwearinganexpensivesuitandwavinghishandsaround,whichwasimpossibletomissbecausethedudehadringsonalmosteveryfingerandafancywatchonhiswrist,andhemadesureeveryonesawthem.
Helookedlikeacheesedicktryingtoflaunthismoney.
IleaneddownclosetoGeorgia’searasmygrandfatherextendedhishandtoTed.
“Keepyourcoolwhenshegetshere,Tink.”
ShenoddedandsighedbeforeGrandfatherintroducedus.Icouldn’tstandtheguy,butI’dbepolitebecausewewantedtosignMara,andweneededhimtomakethathappen.
Ofcourse,theassholepressedhislipstothebackofGeorgia’shand,andittookeverythinginmenottoyankhimbyhisover-gelled,slicked-backhairandremindhimthiswasabusinessdeal.
Ididn’tneedhimpantingallovermyassistant,forfuck’ssake.
“Maddox,whathasitbeen?AyearsinceIsawyoulast?”
Iwishedthatweretrue.Butwe’dseenoneanotheratasocialeventthreemonthsago.
“Somethinglikethat.Thanksformeetingwithusonsuchshortnotice.”
“Ofcourse.Mara’sonherway,sowecanheadtothetableandwaitforherthere.I’massumingwe’llbeorderingthebestbottleofwinetheyhave,asIamrepresentingthehottestauthoroutthererightnow.”Hislaughwashigh-pitched,fake,andannoyingashell
Mygrandfatherchuckled,asheknewhowtoplaythegamebetterthanIdid.“Absolutely.Whateveryouwantisonustonight.Thanksforgivingmethefirstoptiontosignher.”
Wewalkedtothehostessstand,andsheledustothetableinthebackoftherestaurant.Theplacewaspackedtonight,butitwasquieterbackhere.Thishadalwaysbeenmygrandfather’sfavoritespot,andI’dgrownupcominghere.
WetookourseatsandtheslimyjackassmadesuretotaketheseatbesideGeorgia,whichpissedmeoff.Isatacrossfromher,andmygrandfathersatattheheadofthetable.WesavedthespotbesidemeandacrossfromTedforhisclient.
“So,Georgia,youworkforthisguy,huh?”Tedsmirked,hiseyesroamingherfaceandchestsoblatantly,Iclearedmythroattoremindhimwewereallwatching.
“Ido,yes.”Herfacewashard,notsomethingI’deverseenfromherbeforenow.Shedidn’tlikehim,thatmuchIcouldtell,butsheremainedprofessional,andthathadthecornersofmylipsturningupjusttheslightestbit.
“Well,whenyougettiredofthathokeylittletown,justknowwe’realwayshiringatmyfirmhereinthecity.Infact,I’minthemarketforanewassistant.”
ThebastardwastryingtostealmyemployeewhileIwasbuyinghimdinner?ThedudewentthroughPAsfasterthan—well,fasterthanIdid,butfordifferentreasons.Iwasaworkaholicwhodemandedperfection,whichcouldbetoomuchforpeopleattimes.Hehadareputationforbeingawomanizer,andtherewererumorsofmultiplewomencomplainingtoHRathisfirm,buthe’dalwaysmanagedtobuyhiswayoutofit.Ididn’tlikehimsittingbesideGeorgia.
Ididn’tlikehimbreathingthesameairasher.
“Ted,I’llsaythisonce,andIwon’tsayitagain.We’dlovetoworkwithMara,butifyouevertrytofuckingpoachmyemployeeagain,Iwillreachacrossthistableandteachyousomefuckingmanners.Idon’tgiveashitifitcostsusadeal.Yougotme?”
“Whoa,whoa,bigguy,relax.It’sjustbusiness,brother.ButIcanseeyou’reveryattachedtoyourassistant.”Hechuckled.
MygrandfatherglancedatmebeforeturninghisattentionbacktoTed.“Tomakesurewe’reclear,wearen’tdesperate,Ted.WehappentobethebiggestpublishinghouseintheUnitedStates,andwealreadyhavesomeofthemostinfluentialauthorsontheplanetworkingwithus.Maraistalented,andwe’dliketoworkwithher,butyouwillnotdisrespectouremployees.We’llwalksofastyourheadwillspin.”
“Ah,theappledoesn’tfallfarfromthetree,Isee.”Heshrugged,completelyunfazed.Thedudehadfalloutswithmorepeoplethannot.Thiswasnothingforhim.“Georgia,you’vegotsomeloyalemployersrighthere.”
“Well,youknow…beingfromahokeylittletownandall,IconsidermyselfluckytobeworkingwithLancasterPress.Andussmall-towngirlsareprettyloyal,too,Mr.Hagger.”Shesmiled,butitwasn’tgenuine.Shewastryingtobeprofessionalwhilestickingittohimasmuchasshecould.
AndIfuckinglovedit.
Henodded.“There’sjustsomethingaboutasmall-towngirl.AmIright,gentlemen?”Hewaggledhisbrows,likethiswasalljustsomefunbanter,whileeveryoneelseatthetablewasonedge.Andthenhelookedupandpushedtohisfeet.“Ah…heresheis.Mara,thankyouforjoiningus.”
Hemadetheintroductions,andIwatchedasGeorgiabitdownonherbottomlip,tryingtokeepherselffromreactingtoomuchassheshookherhand.Wealltookourseats,andTedorderedtwobottlesofthemostexpensivewineonthemenu,andweplacedourdinnerorders,aswell.
Igotrightdowntobusiness,tellingMarathatwewerebeyondimpressedwiththesamplethatshe’dsentover,andwewereinterestedinmakingheranoffertonight.
“Well,thisisfabulousnews.ItoldTedIonlywantedtoworkwithLancasterPressonthisone.Signingadealwithyouallhasbeenonmybucketlistforawhilenow.Iknowyouweren’tinterestedinthelastseries,butIwashopingthisonewouldpiqueyourinterest.”Shesmiledandthenglancedatheragentbeforeturningbacktome.“ItoldTedifyoupassedonthisone,IwasgoingtodrivetoCottonwoodCovemyselfandconvinceyouofallthereasonswhyyoushouldsignme.”
We’dneverreceivedasubmissionfromMaraSkyebefore,atleastnotinthelastdecadethatI’dbeenwiththecompany.Professionally,throwingTedunderthebusmightnotbethewisestmove,butthefactthathewaslickinghislipsasheglancedoveratmyassistantleftmewithnochoice.
“Well,Iassureyou,wewouldneverturnyoudown.Thisisthefirsttimewe’vereceivedasubmission,asfarasIknow,andwejumpedatthechancetoworkwithyou.”
MygrandfatherchuckledbecauseheknewwhatIwasdoing.Weweren’tcoveringforthisasshole.“I’mprettyancient,sounlessyousubmittedtousatatimethatIwasn’trunningLancasterPress,I’dknowaboutit.”
Mara’sgazenarrowedasshelookedbetweenusandheragentinconfusion.
“Well,nosensegettinghunguponthepast.Weallknowthatpaperworkcanfallthroughthecracks.Let’sfocusonthehereandnow,”Tedsaid.
He’donlysubmittedtousthistimebecauseshewasgoingtogoaroundhim.ThisguywasabiggerdickheadthanI’dgivenhimcreditfor.
“That’sfine.Wecantalkaboutitlater,Ted.”Mara’sfacedidnothideherdispleasure.“Tonight,Iwanttofocusonthefuture.So,youreallylikedit?”
“Welovedit,”mygrandfathersaid.“Georgia,here,isabigfan.She’sreadallofyourwork,andshegushedaboutthissubmission.”
Maraclappedherhandstogether.“Stop.Really?Thatmeanstheworldtome,Georgia.Thankyou.”
“Areyoukidding?Thankyou.Youareaone-clickauthorforme.Iliterallystayupallnightwhenyourbooksrelease.”
“Well,fromnowon,I’llbesendingyouanARCforallofmybooks,”Marasaidwithabigsmileonherface.AdvancedReaderCopieswerepopularinthebookworld.
“Oh,wow.Thatwouldmeansomuchtome.Ibeta-readformycousin,andnowIcanbeanARCreaderforyou,”Georgiasaid,raisingherglass.“Iwilldrinktothat.”
Everyoneraisedtheirglass,andMaratookasipbeforeturningherattentionbacktoGeorgia.
“Whoisyourcousin?”
“AshlanThomas.HernameisAshlanKingnow,butshewritesunderhermaidenname.”
Mara’smouthfellopen.“I’mahugefanofAshlan’swork.I’vereadeverythingshe’swritten.”
Theywentbackandforthasourfoodwassetdowninfrontofus.GeorgiaagreedtohaveAshlancometoCottonwoodCovewhenMaracameforavisit.We’dgottenofftheprofessionaltrackwiththeconversation,butwiththewaythesetwowerebonding,itonlyworkedinourfavor.
Georgiaglancedupatmeandmanagedtosteertheconversationbacktothepresent.“So,Maddoxdoesn’tnormallyreadhistoricalromance,butheadmittedthathe’dbeenpulledinbythisone,too.Ithinkyou’vegotanewfanonyourhands.”
Maraturnedherattentiontome,andwediscussedsomeofthestrengthsofheropeningandwheresheplannedtotakethestory.Mygrandfatherwascompletelycaptivatedbyherasshewalkedusthroughtheconflictandthewaysheplannedtogivethemtheirhappilyeverafter.
“Brilliant.Whendoyouthinkyoucouldhavethenextfewchapterstous?”
“Thebookisdone.IthoughtTedtoldyouthat.Wejustdidn’twanttooverwhelmyouwiththewholethingifyouweren’tinterested.”
Ifinishedchewingandreachedformyglassofwine.“We’remorethaninterested.Wecanhaveacontractreadyforyoutomorrowifthenumberswediscussedworkforyou?”Wewereofferingherafour-bookdeal,whichwedidn’tdooften,butshe’dfeltpassionateabouttheseries,andweknewshewastalentedashell.
“Yes.I’mreadytosignwithyourightnow.”Sheclaspedherfingerstogetherandchuckled.
“Consideritadonedeal.We’llsendsomethingovertoyourofficetomorrow,Ted.”Mygrandfatherdidnotlookpleasedwhenheturnedhisattentiontoheragent,whohadclearlybeenlyingaboutsubmittingtousinthepast.
“Great.We’lllookitoverandgetitbacktoyouquickly.”TedglanceddownathisphoneasifhehadsomethingmoreimportantgoingonthanthefactthatwehadverballyagreedtosignMara.
Shewatchedhimforalongmomentbeforeturningbacktotherestofus.“Howaboutwekeepintouch?Let’sexchangenumbers.”
ShehandedherphonetoGeorgia,andsheagreedtoputhernumberandourofficenumberinhercontacts,andthenshesentherselfatexttoensureshehadMara’snumber,aswell.
Ted’sheadsnappedup.“Thatwon’tbenecessary.I’vegottheirinformation.Well,Idon’thaveGeorgia’snumber,andIshouldprobablygetthatincaseIcan’treachthebigguyoverhere.”
Irolledmyeyes.Hehadnoreasontocontacther.“Ifyoucallmydirectline,Georgiawillanswerandpatchyouthrough.Thatshouldsuffice.”
Yeah,IshutthatshitdownfastandglancedatGeorgiatomakesureshedidn’thandthatassholeherphone.
“Well,I’llgiveyouacallattheofficetomorrow,Georgia.”Hesmiledandslippedhisphoneintohiscoatpocket.
WefinisheddinnerandcelebratedwithafewdessertsasMaraandGeorgiatalkedbooks.Tedtoldushemighthaveanotherclientinterestedinsigningwithus,butIfiguredhewasfullofshitandjusttryingtokissourassesafterbeingcaughtinalietonight.
Weallstoodandsaidourgoodbyesandmygrandfathertoldmehe’dcallmeinthemorning.TedwalkedMaraout,andfromthelooksofit,shewasblastinghimalittle,astheirconversationlookedheated.
GeorgiaandIwalkedtowardtheelevators,notsayingawordaswewaitedforthedoorstoopenandsteppedinside
“Youdidwelltonight,”Isaid,standingontheoppositewallfromherbecauseIneededdistancefromthiswoman.Herscent.Hereyes.Hersmile.Itwasdoingcrazyshittome,andthatdidn’tsitwell.
“Thankyou.Iloveher.She’samazing.Heragentisarealtool,though,huh?”
“Yeah.Unfortunately,he’sgotsomeofthebiggestauthorsoutthere,andworkingwithhimisinevitable.Butyouhandledhimwell.”
“Thankyou.Didyoujustcomplimentmetwiceintwominutes,Bossman?”Hervoicewasallteaseasthedooropened,andImotionedforhertostepofffirst.
Iwasagentleman,afterall.
IthadnothingtodowiththefactthatIhadaperfectviewofherassswayingfromsidetosideasshewalkeddownthehall.
“Don’tgetcocky.Istillthinkyoudriveapieceofshit,andyoudiddancearoundinmycloset,sotherearestillthosetwothingsonthetable.”IchuckledasIpausedinfrontofmydoor,andshestoodacrossfrommewithherbackagainstherdoor.
“I’vegotsomemoves,don’tI?”
ThebestfuckingmovesI’deverseen.
ButIwouldn’tsaythat.
Iwasherboss,afterall.
“Goodnight,Tink.”
Andwiththat,Iturnedandslippedinsidemyroom.
I’dgottenatextfromHeather,awomanI’dseenonandoffovertheyears,butforwhateverreason,Iwasn’tinthemoodforcompany.
BecauseIcouldn’tgetmygoddamnassistantoutofmyhead.nineGeorgia
IdroppedontomybedandpickedupmyphonetoseethesiblinggrouptextandcatchuponwhatI’dmissedoutontonight.
Finn
IjusthadtodoasexscenewithJessicaCarson,andshe’sevenhotterinperson.Ithinktheyaregoingtomakehermynewloveinterest.<pantingfaceemoji>
Cage
Well,that’saroughdayattheoffice.You’regettingnakedwithJessicafuckingCarson,andI’mcheckingtheeyesightoftheWilsons’hamster.WheredidIgowrongwhenchoosingmycareerpath?
Brinkley
JessicaCarsonissohot,butIsawherinaninterview,andshewasalittlefullofherself.IjusthadtogointothelockerroomwithabunchofsweatyNFLplayers,andIsawmoreassesthananyoneshouldseeatonegiventime.Butwow,thosearesomegoodbuttsonthosemen.
Hugh
There’salothappeninghere.Sexscenes,hamsters,andmultipleasses?Georgie,anythingyouneedtoshare?
Brinkley
She’sinameetingwithMaraSkyerightnow.Althoughherbossisawfullysexy.Evenifhe’sabroodybastard.Butaren’tthosethebestkind?
I’mhere.Themeetingwasamazing.Sheisgoingtosignafour-bookdealwithLancasterPress,andshetalkedtomethewholenight.IthinkI’vefoundmycalling.Nobodywasnudeatthetable,though.
Cage
Iknewyou’dfindyourniche.Andyouwereabletocombineyourbusinessdegreewithyourloveforreading.Proudofyou,Georgie.
Finn
Hey,Ijusthadasexscenewithoneofthehottestupcomingactressesontheplanet.Areyouproudofme,Cage?
Hugh
I’mguessinghe’senvious,forsure.Youneedawoman,Cage.Spendingyourdayswithpigsandchicksandhamstersisn’thealthy.<laughingfaceemoji>
Brinkley
It’sbetterthanallthefancyboutiquedogsyouwereseeingwhenyouwereinLA.Don’tknockthesmall-townlife.
Cage
Saysthegirllivinginthecity.
I’msogladyou’reraisingGracieinCottonwoodCoveandnotinLosAngeles.I’llbehometomorrow.LetherknowI’mgoingwithyouguystoseeSantathisweekendlikeIpromised.J.R.isthebestSantaever.
Finn
Heis,butisMr.WeberstillrunningSanta’svillageanddressingasanelf?ThatmanwasthreesheetstocrazytownlastChristmas.Heburpedinmyface,andhereekedofItaliansausageandpeppermintSchnapps.Ican’teatacandycanewithouthavingflashbacksnow.
Hugh
Hewasattherestaurantlastnight,tippingbackthewhiskeysoursandwearingagreenjumpsuitandahat.It’ssafetosayhe’sstilladrunkelf.
Cage
Mygod.Thatmanwasadrunkelfwhenwewerekids.Howishisliverstillworking?
Brinkley
RemembertheyearwedidthatChristmasphotowithmeandGeorgieonSanta’slapandyouguysstandingaroundhimforthefamilyholidaycard,andMr.Weberphotobombedus?
Yes.Momwassomadwhensheorderedtwohundredandfiftycards,onlytoseeanelfwithunusuallyredeyesjumpingupinthebackground.<eyerollemoji>
Cage
Well,ifheburpsonmydaughter,I’mgoingtohaveawordwithhim.
Brinkley
IwouldpaymoneytoseeyougoallpapabearprotectiveonMr.Weber.
Hugh
Whydon’tyouguysallcomehavedinnerattherestaurantaftertakingGracietoseeSanta,andI’llhaveMomandDadcome,too?
Perfect.Goingtobed.I’llbehometomorrow.
Imovedtothebathroomandranabubblebathinthefancytub.Ipinnedupmyhairandclimbedin.Iwasdeepintomybetareadfrommycousin,Ashlan.IoftenreadonmyKindleapponmyphone,andatextfromMaddoxappearedatthetopofthescreen.
Bossman
IjustemailedyouacopyofthecontractthatwearesendingtoMaratomorrowmorning.Checkitoverforme,andthenwewillforwardittoherandthatdouchedickagentofhers.
IlaughedsohardInearlydroppedthephoneinthetub.
I’mgladyou’redealingwithherandnotjusthim.Idon’tgetagoodvibefromhim.
Bossman
Good.He’sbadnews.Tellmewhyyouandyourexbrokeup.
Thatwasrandom.Whywasheaskingaboutthatnow?
Nicesegue.Whydoyouwanttoknow?
Bossman
Youjustansweredanotherquestionwithaquestion.
AtleastI’mconsistent.Answerthequestion,please.
Bossman
Becausemyemployeedrivesamotorizedbicycleinthesnowduetothefactthatherasshatex-boyfriendstolehercar.He’sblackmailingyou.So,Iwanttoknowwhyhe’stakingthebreakupsohard.
Iletoutalongsigh.
Itwasalotofthings.Wedidn’thavemuchincommon.Butthestrawthatbrokethecamel’sbackwaswhenIwenttooneofhisconcerts.Iwasinthebackroomofthebar,waitingforhim.Afirealarmgotpulled,andIrantotrytofindhimwhenIcouldhavejustrunoutthebackdoor.
MyfeetslippedasItexted,andthewatersloshedoverthesideofthetubandbubblescoveredmyhands.
Bossman
Areyougoingtotellmewhathappened?I’mguessingyoudidn’tusethebackdoor?
That’swhatshesaid!LOL.Yousetmeupforthatone.Iwasn’tdonewiththestory,butIgotbubblesonmyhands,andIhadtowipethemoff.
Bossman
Ridiculoussenseofhumor.Whyareyouplayingwithbubbles?
I’minthetub.Iaddedbubbles,andtheygotonmyhand.Anyway…
Bossman
Isitappropriatetobetextingyourbosswhenyou’renakedinthetub?
Isitappropriateformybosstobetextingmethislateorinquiringaboutmyex?
Bossman
Touché.Finishthestory.You’reinthebackroom.Thefirealarmgetspulled.
Iruntofindhim,right?Becauseiftheplacegoesupinflames,youshouldmakesureyourpartnerissafe.TherewasanexitrightnexttotheroomIwasin,andIdidn’ttakeit.Irantothestagetofindhim.Buthe’drunoutthefrontdoor.NotacareintheworldaboutmakingsureIgotout.AndIfoundhimtalkingwithhisbandmatesandlaughingafterward.Hedidn’tcometofindme.So,IknewIwasdoneinthatmoment.
Bossman
Whothefuckdoesthat?
DikotaSmith.
Bossman
It’sastupidname.So,youdumpedhim.Andthenhestoleyourcar?
Iwishitwerethatsimple.Idumpedhim.Hetriedtogetmeback,andIignoredhim.So,hesleptwithmyroommatebecausehewashavingatempertantrum.
Bossman
Youcan’tmakethisshitup.Andthenhestoleyourcarafterboningyourroommate?
Ifoundthemnakedinherroom,andIwasstunned.Myroommatewascryingandapologizing,andDikotasaiditwasmyfaultbecauseI’ddumpedhim.ThenhegrabbedmykeysoffthecounterandleftbeforeIrealizedit.
Bossman
Thiswouldn’tevenworkinfiction.Itakeityouandtheroomiearen’tfriendsanymore?
Wearenot.Andshesatnexttomeatgraduation,whichwassuperawkward.Shekeepscalling,buttherereallyisn’tanywaytocomebackafterthat.
Bossman
Andyourfamilydoesn’tknowhetookyourcar?
Theydon’tknowanyofit.Theywouldbeupset.Mybrotherswouldprobablyhurthim.Brinkleywouldgivethembothaverbalshowdown.I’vegotithandled.
Bossman
Bydrivingascooterinthesnow.
Doyouhavesiblings?
Bossman
Oneyoungerbrother.He’dmostlikelystealyourcarandsleepwithyourroommate,soifyoumeethim,stayawayfromhim.
Gotit.Ireallylikeyourgrandfather.Doyourparentslivehere,too?
Bossman
Showandshareisover,Tink.Getsomesleep.
Overandout,Bossman.
Bossman
That’swhatshesaid.Night.
Ilaughedbeforesettingmyphonedownandreachingforatowelanddryingoff.Ipulledonmypajamasandclimbedintobed.
AndIfellasleeptothoughtsofmybosstellingoffthemanwhoofferedmeajobtonight.
MaddoxLancasterwasfullofsurprises.
***
Theweekhadflownby.IwashurryingtogetoutoftheofficebecausetonightIwasgoingwithmybrother,Cage,totakemyniece,Gracie,toseeSanta.ThewholefamilywasmeetingatReynolds’after,andithadbeenafewweekssincewewerealltogether.
Brinkleylivedinthecity.
FinnwasawayfilminginasmalltownbetweenCottonwoodCoveandSanFrancisco.
AndHughandCagehadbeenbusywithwork.
Isawmyparentsoften,butithadbeenafewdays,andtheywereexcitedtohearaboutmytripandhowmymeetingwentwithMaraSkye.
We’dbeenswampedattheoffice,asMaddoxkepthisscheduleprettypacked,andbetweenthetripshehadcomingupandthecontractsthatweregoingout,Icouldbarelycatchmybreath.
I’dsomehowmanagedtostayatthetopofthewinner’scircleinping-pongattheoffice,andIreallyenjoyedmyjob.
Itwasbusyandfunandchallenging.
Mybosswasstillexhaustingandneedy,butIdidn’tminditbecauseMarahadsignedthecontract,andMaddoxhadgivenmeacopyofthemanuscripttoread.Hewasn’tgivingthisparticularbooktoNadia,who’dinitiallyturneditdownbutthenbacktrackedwhensheheardthatLancasterPresshadsignedher.He’ddecidedtohavehischiefeditor,Helena,workonit.Andhewaslettingmemeetwithhertodiscussthingssincedeclaringmeahistoricalromanceexpert.
I’dbeenstayingupwaytoolateatnighttoread.I’djustfinishedthemanuscriptlastnight,anditwasdefinitelyMara’sbestwork.
Andwe’dbeentextingnonstopaboutit.
MaraSkyeandIwerepracticallygirlfriends.
Mycousin,Ashlan,wasoverthemoonthatMaraknewwhoshewas,andwe’dsetupadaytogotolunchinacoupleweeks,afterwegotthroughtheholidays,whenthey’dbothagreedtocometotown.
Lifewasgood.
I’djustbeeninatwo-hourmeetingwithHelenadiscussingthebook,andMaddoxbuzzedherofficelookingforme.
“Thebossneedsyou.Thanksfortalkingthisthrough.You’vegotagoodeye,Georgia.AndIknowIshowedyouthecoverartwewereconsideringforthisone,butIthinkyoumightberightaboutitlookingmorelikeafantasybookthanahistoricalromancebook.Ihavetheteamworkingontheconceptthatwediscussedafewdaysago.”
Inwhatworlddidanyonelistentomeandmyideasaboutsomethingsoimportant?
Ishookmyheadandsmiled.“Wow.Thankyousomuchforlettingmebeapartofthis.”
Thedoorswungopen,andMaddoxstoodthere,lookingirritated.Hisjawwasset,shouldersstiff,andoneeyebrowraisedashislipsremainedinastraightlinewhenhelookedatme.“I’vecalledandtexted.You’reneeded.Now.”
Helenachuckled.“Sorry.Itwasmyfault.”
Hehelduphishandtoherwithaforcedsmile.“It’sfine.Let’sgo,Tink.”
He’dstartedopenlycallingmebythenicknameintheoffice,andSydneythoughtitwashilariousbecauseitwassounexpectedcomingfromhim.Butnooneelsecommentedaboutit.Ithinktheyallknewweworkedcloselytogetherandwe’dformedafriendship.
“Whereisthefire?Weweretalkingaboutthebook,”Iwhisper-hissedaftersayinggoodbyetoHelena.
Wespentalotoftimetogether.
Hetextedmeendlesslyforthingsheneeded.
Dayandnight.
Hetookthepositionofpersonalassistanttoawholenewlevel.Andpatiencewasnothisstrongsuit.
“Twohoursismorethanenoughtime.Comewithme.”Hewassobossyandirritatedmostofthetime,yetIlovedit.
Iwokeupinagoodmoodeveryday.
I’dsomehowfoundmypurposehere.
Heledmedownthestairs,andafewpeopleyelledouttomeabouttheping-pongmassacretoday,whereI’dliterallydestroyedCraigashe’dbeateneveryoneallweekandwantedtochallengemeforthetitleonceagain.
“Getbacktowork.Ping-pongisover,”Maddoxgrowled.
“Saysthemanwhoneverplays,”Isaid,asIfollowedhimoutthedoorandaroundthebuilding.Itwasfreezing,andheseemedcompletelyunfazed.
Heturnedandhandedmeasetofkeys,andtheresatmypiece-of-crapcar,lookinglikeithadamassivemakeover.Hadhepaintedit?Itusedtobeafadedgray,andnowitwasamatteblack.
“Isthatmycar?”
“Yes.”
“How’dyougetitback?”
“Igotitbackwhenwewereinthecity.Thatnight.Butitwasinterribleshape.Hadhestrippedthepaintjob?Itwasahorriblegray,anditlookedlikeshit.”
“No.ThatwasthewayIboughtit.Don’tberude,MoneyBags.Wedon’tallhaveoptionsaboutthecolorwhenpurchasingourfirstcar.ButIseeyouwentwithblack.Thecolorofyourcold,jadedheart?”Iteased,asImovedarounditandglancedinside.“It’samazing.Thankyou.Idon’tknowwhattosay.”
“Well,thisisthrilling.You’veneverbeenatalossforwords.Sometimeslessismore,Tink.”
“Saysthemanwhopublisheswordsforaliving.”Iraisedabrowandrubbedmyhandstogetherasthesnowstartedtofallfromabove.
Hesurprisedmewhenhepulledhissuitcoatoffandwrappeditaroundmyshoulders.Hecouldbesogrumpyoneminute,butthenhe’dcatchmeoffguardthenextbydoingsomethingnice.
He’dgonetothecitytogetmycarforme.
MaybeBossmanactuallyhadaheart.tenMaddox
“So,didhejustgiveyouthecarwhenyouaskedforit?”Georgiaaskedme,asshetippedherheadbacktoletthesnowfallonherprettyface.
“He’spathetic.IcouldhavesnappedhiminhalfifIwantedto.So,no,hedidn’tputupafight.Hewhinedandbitched,andIcountedtothree,andhehandedoverthekeys.Itoldyou…you’vebeendatingboys,notmen.”
Ithadbeenalltooeasy.ThebarthatherdipshitexhadbeenperformingatwasaleasedspaceownedbyLancasterProperties.I’dmadeacallandwastakenintoabackroom,andtheshowwastemporarilystoppeduntilafterourlittlemeeting.Thepussyhadcriedandsaidhestilllovedher.ItoldhimtostopcontactingherorI’dbepayinghimanothervisit,andIwouldn’tbeasfriendlynexttime.
AndImeantit.
“Whatareyou?Thedatingexpertnow?”Shesmirked.Ilovedhowsaltyshewaswithmewhenshewaspuresunshinewitheveryoneelse.Ibroughtsomethingoutofher,andIenjoyedit.
“Idoverywell.Thankyouforasking.”
“Ihaven’tseenanydatesonyourcalendar,”shesaid,hergazesearchingmine.
“Ikeepmypersonallifeseparate,Tink.”Iraisedabrow,likingthewayherlittlehandsfistedbeforesheshovedthemintomysuitcoatpockets.Thesnowwasstartingtocomedownharder,andIdidn’tmindstandingoutherewithheratall,eventhoughIwasfreezingmyballsoff.Itwasworthittohavethismomentwithherwithoutfourhundredfuckingpeopleinterruptinguswithfirestoputout.
“IwouldhearaboutitifyouweredatinganyonehereinCottonwoodCove.Virginiagetsallthescoopintown,”shesaid,hervoicefulloftease,butIcouldseeinhereyesthatshewasanxiousformetoanswer.
Shewasright.
Ihadn’tbeenout.
Notoncesincethedayshe’dcometointerviewwithme.
AndIneededtoblowoffsomesteam.Stopfantasizingaboutmyassistant.
“Iactuallyhaveadatetonight.We’regoingtoyourbrother’srestaurantbecause,accordingtoYelp,it’sthebestintown.AndIdolikeimpressingmywomen.”
Icouldn’thidethesmileonmyface.Hell,Ismiledallthetimenow.Shebroughtoutasoftersideofme,whichI’dnormallydespise,butIdidn’tminditatthemoment.Shelookedjealous,andIlikeditsomuchthatIcouldn’tstopsmiling.Howtwistedwasthat?
“Really?”
“Notsurewhythat’ssurprisingtoyou,butyes.Really.”
“That’sactuallyfabulous.MyfamilyishavingdinnertheretonightafterwetakemyniecetoseeSanta.Can’twaittomeetyourgirlfriend.”
“Idon’tdogirlfriends,”Isaid,andsheshivered,soIturnedhertowardthebuildingandplacedmyhandonherlowerbacktoleadherinside.
“So,whatdoyoudo?Justbuythemdinnerandhaveyourwaywiththem?”sheasked.Oncewesteppedinside,shelookedupatmewithherdarkblueeyeswideandcurious.
Ileaneddownclosetoherear.“IbuythemdinnerandthenIrocktheirfuckingworld.”
Shecrossedherarmsoverherchestaswestoodintheentryway,afewfeetawayfromnosyVirginiaHawkson,whothankfullylookeddeepinconversationassheheldthephonetoherear.
“Aoneanddone?”Sheraisedabrow.
“Nah.Igetalotofrepeatcustomers.”IchuckledbecauseIknewIwasinfuriatingher,andIenjoyedit.“HeatherisawomanI’veseenmanytimes,andshe’scomingheretonight.Nopunintended.”Iwinked.“ShewaspissedIdidn’tmaketimeforherwhenIwasinthecitybecauseIwasbusydealingwithyourlittlefucker,andsheinsistedondrivingheretonighttoseeme.”
Ididn’tknowwhatthehellwasgoingonwithme,buteversinceourtriptothecity—nah,scratchthat,eversinceshewasshakingherassintheclosetto“SlowRide”,I’dadjustedmyboss-employeerelationshipwithher.Georgiabroughtoutadifferentsideofme.Shewaseasytobewith.IlaughedmorethanIeverhad,andIdidn’tmindit.Hell,evenI’dnoticedthestuffyaloofnessthatI’dperfectedunderthetutelageofmyfatherhadfaded.Georgiawasdoingthingstomephysicallyandemotionally,andIlikedit.
Hertongueswipedouttowetherlips.“Wow.Goodforyou,andgoodforher,ifthatworksforyouboth.I’dnevertakepartinthatkindofdeal.”
Herclawswereout,andIlikedit.
“Andwhyisthat,Tink?”
“Becausethatmeansyou’rebothallowedtodowhateveryouwantwhenyouaren’ttogether.”
“Correct.”
“I’dneverbewithamanwhowaswillingtosharemewithsomeoneelse.Iwanttobewithamanwhocouldn’tstandthethoughtofanothermantouchingme,”shesaid,onebrowraisedasifshe’djustputmeinmyplace.
“AndisthathowDikota,thecarthief,was?Whenhewasn’tfuckingyourroommate?”Ishouldn’thavesaidit.Itwasn’tnice.Butshewasgettingundermyskinbecauseeventalkingaboutanothermantouchingherbotheredme.
Thisconversationwascompletelyunprofessionalandinappropriateforamillionreasons,andIdidn’tgiveafuck.GeorgiamatteredtomemorethanIwantedtoadmit.
Sheclearedherthroatandkeptherfaceeven,butIsawthehurtinhereyes.
Iwasanasshole.
Sheneededtoknowthat.
“ThanksforthrowingthatinmyfacewhenyouareoneoftheonlypeoplethatIsharedthatwith.But,ifyoumustknow,hewasactuallyquitepossessive,yes.AndIwasdonewithhimlongbeforehestrayed,butthatwouldhavebeenadealbreakerformeeitherway.Idon’tshare,Bossman.”
“Goodforyou.YoushouldholdoutforMr.Perfect.AndIassureyou,it’snotthatpunkinthecity.”
“YouthinkI’mgoingtotakedatingadvicefromyou?”shesaid,glancingdownatherphonewhenitvibrated.“It’sgettinglate.Ineedtogosendthoseemailsandthengettomybrother’shousetogoseeSanta.IguessI’llseeyouandyourwomanoftheeveningatReynolds’.”
Ibarkedoutalaugh.“Iguessyouwill,Tink.”
Shepulledmycoatoffhershouldersandchuckeditatmebeforeheadingthroughtheofficeandbackupstairs.Shegotstoppedseveraltimesbecauseeveryonelovedher.
Itookmytime,watchingthewayshemovedupthestairs.Thewayherleanlegselegantlytookonestepaftertheother.Itwaswrong,butIcouldn’thelpmyself.Thiswomanwasconsumingmythoughts.AndIwasdreadingdinnerwithHeather.
I’dagreedtohercomingtotownbecauseshewasrelentlessaboutgettingtogether,andIknewIneededtogetlaid.Ithadbeentoolong,anditwastheonlychanceIhadatgettingGeorgiaReynoldsoutofmyhead.
***
HeatherOliviawasthedaughterofawealthybanker,andshewasdefinitelylookingforawealthyhusband.I’dbeenupfrontwithherfromthemomentwemetwhenshe’dpursuedmehard.IwasalwaysclearwiththewomenthatIspenttimewith.Ienjoyeddinner,anicebottleofwine,andashowortheoperanowandthen.IlikedhavingadatetotaketoeventsthatIhadtoattend.ButIdidn’twantanythingdeeperthanthat.Iknewwherethatled,andIwasn’tinterestedinit.Ididn’topenmylifetothewomenthatIspenttimewith.Everyone’sversionofthefairytalewasdifferent.Mymotherhadthoughtmyfatherwasherprinceonawhitehorse,andthoughhe’dsetherupinacastleandgivenherthefinestthingsinlife,she’dsoonlearnedthatitcameatacost.Thathedidn’tmeanitwhenhesaid,“Tilldeathdouspart.”
Hewasaselfishprickwithawanderingeyeandanice-coldheart.He’dhumiliatedheratherlowestpoint,chippingawayatherasherbodydeterioratedrightbeforeoureyes.
Lovewasoverrated.Itwasbullshit.Iwasn’theretosaythatitdidn’tworkforsomepeople.Mygrandparentsweretherarecouplethatgotitright.ButIwasmorethanawarethatmostofthewomenwhohadattemptedtosinktheirnailsintomewereaftertwothings.
TheLancasternameandtheLancastermoney.
Itcamewiththeterritory.
IwasfairlycertainthatHeatherwantedboth.
Butwe’dbeendoingthissporadicallyfortwoyearsnow,anditwasclearthatIwasn’tgoingtochangemymind.Yetshekeptcomingback.
She’dtakenacarserviceherebecausethewomanwasapamperedprincess.Shedidn’tworkorhaveanyrealambitionsbeyondshoppingandfindingahusbandwho’dkeepherlivinginthelapofluxury.ThatwaswhyIwasn’tsurewhyshehadn’tmovedontosomeoneelse.Someonemorelikelytogiveherwhatshewanted.
Shewasgorgeous,nodoubtaboutit.
IarrivedatReynolds’andwastakentoatableinthebackoftherestaurant.Theplacewasfairlybusy,chatterandlaughtersurroundingme.Darkwoodcoveredthefloors,andstoneaccentsonthewallsofferedalotofcharacter.Itdefinitelyhadarustic,coolvibe
IlookeduptoseeHeatherwalkingmyway.Herblackhairwasstraightandshiny,andsheworeaskintightreddressthatclungtoherandendedjustbelowherknees.Sheworeablackfurcoatthatwentalmosttotheground,andsky-highfuck-meheels,perusual.Headsturnedasshemovedtowardmebecauseshestoodoutlikeasorethumbinhere,asmostpeopleweredressedinjeansandsweaters.Ipushedtomyfeetandgaveheraquickhug.
“Goodtoseeyou.”
“Well,Ihadnochoicebuttocometoyou,obviously.Ican’tbelieveyou’relivinginthisgodforsakentown.Isitjusttheworstlivinghere?”sheaskedasIslippedhercoatoffhershouldersandsetitontheemptychairbesideus.Ipulledoutherchair,andshetookaseat,andIsettledacrossfromher.
“Actually,ithasn’tbeensobadlately.It’sgrowingonme.It’speaceful.There’snopresssnappingpictureseverytimeyougotofuckingdinner.Notraffic.Andtheofficeisthriving,soIhavenocomplaints.”
“Well,whygetalldressedupifnooneisgoingtotakephotosofyouandpostthem?”Shechuckled.“I’mguessingtheshoppingisnotgreathere.I’msuretherearesomeboutiques,butyouknow,Ilovemynamebrands.I’mhopingtoseeyournewhousewhileI’mhere.Iwasdisappointedyoudidn’thavememeetyouthere.”
Ofcourse,shewas.Myplantomeetherherewasintentional.Ididn’tbringwomentomyhomeoften.Inormallytookthemtothehotelinthecity,evenwhenIwaslivingthere.Georgiahadbeenspotonwhenshe’dmadethatstatement,butIsureasshitwasn’tgoingtoadmitit.Ididn’tlikeinvitingpeopleintomypersonalspace,nordidIeverspendthenightwithawoman.Ihadmyreasons,andImadethatclearupfront.IknewHeatherwashopingtocomehomewithme,andIalsoknewthatIneededtogetlaid.
ButIhadn’tdecidedhowthatwouldgodownyet.
I’dprobablytakehertoahotelhereinCottonwoodCove,andthenIcouldheadhomeafter.
BeforeIcouldanswer,therewasaruckusafewfeetaway.Alargegrouphadentered,andforwhateverreason,theyweregarneringalotofattention.
TinkerBell.
ThismustbetheinfamousReynoldsfamily.Georgiahadherheadtippedbackinafull-bodiedlaughasanotherwomanwithlong,darkhairstoodclose,sayingsomethingtoherwithabigsmileonherface.Therewasabigdudewithlonghair,andhisarmwaswrappedaroundanotherwomanwithdarkhair.Atallerdudeheldalittlegirlinhisarms,andanotherguyhuddledaroundthem,tellingastorywithhisarmsflyingallovertheplace.Anolderattractivecoupleheldhandsandstoodtherewatchingthemwithcompleteadoration.
Likesomethingoutofagoddamnmovie.Theywereallunusuallygood-looking,anditwasobvioustheywereallcloseandcomfortablewithoneanother.Thehostesswho’dseatedusapproachedthebigdudewiththelonghairandthewomanbesidehim,andtheybothsaidsomethingtothegroupbeforeheadingintheoppositedirection.Thatmustbethebrotherwhoownedtheplace.Therestofthegroupmadetheirwaytoatablenotfarfrommine.
Georgiawastalkingamileaminutewhenhergazefoundmine,andshehalted.HereyesmovedtoHeather,andshesaidsomethingtoherfamilyastheytooktheirseats,andshewalkedtowardmytable.
Mydickreactedimmediatelyatthesightofher,whichpissedmeoff.HewassupposedtobereactingtoHeather,nottomyemployee.
Sheworeapairofdarkskinnyjeans,bootsthatdidn’thaveaheel,butcameupherlegs,endingjustaboveherknees.Itsomehowmanagedtobesexyasshit.Sheworeacreamturtlenecksweater,andherhairfellinbig,fatwavesaroundhershoulders.
“Hey,”shepurredassheapproachedthetable.
“Hey,Georgia,thisismyfriend,Heather.Heather,GeorgiaismyassistantatLancasterPress.”Imotionedtomydate.Heather’sredlipsformedastraightlineassheglancedupatmyassistantwiththewarmthofaniceberg.
“Hi,it’snicetomeetyou,”Georgiasaid,extendingahand.Heatherlookeddownatherhandforanawkwardamountoftime,beforetakingjustthetipsofGeorgia’sfingersinhergraspforalloftwosecondsbeforecompletelylookingawayandmakingitclearthatshewasn’tinterestedinchatting.
Itpissedmethefuckoff.
Iknewshecouldbecold,butI’dneverseenherbehavelikethis.
“Nicetomeetyou,”Heathersaid,butshewaslookingatmeandnotatthewomanstandingatourtable.
“Hello?Yoo-hoo?Ithinkyouseemestandinghere,”Georgiasaid,leaningherhandoverthetableandwavingitupanddowninfrontofmydate’sfaceasaloudlaughescapedmymouth.
Theballsonthisgirl.
Heatherstartledandgasped,turningtolookather.“Iseeyou.”
“Ahhh…well,Iseeyou,too.”Georgiasmirked.Herwordshadmoremeaninginthemthanthesimpleacknowledgementshe’dmade.
“Well,Ithinkyou’reofftheclocknow,so…”Heathersaid,herlipsturningupinthecorners.
“I’mneverreallyofftheclockwithBossman.”Georgiaactedcompletelyunfazedbyhowrudemydatewasbehaving.Iwasnothappy,andIwoulddefinitelyletHeatherknowit.“Youtwohaveaniceevening.”
Sheturnedonherheelsandmarchedovertohertable.Theolderman,whoIassumedwasherfather,savedaseatforherbesidehim,andthewayhelookedatherwasthewayafatherwhoadoredhischildshouldlookatthem.I’dneverbeenonthereceivingendofthatkindofadorationfrommyfather.
Ourservercametothetable,andweorderedourdrinksanddinner.IwantedtogetthingsmovingbecauseIwasalreadydonewiththisdate.Aftershesteppedaway,Ilookedatthewomansittingacrossfromme.
“Thatwasuncalledfor.Youwererude.”
“She’syourassistant,notaclient.Ididn’tthinkIneededtotrywithher.”Shelookedupatme,oneeyebrowraisedinchallenge.
“So,youpickandchoosewhoyoumakeaneffortwith?”Ihissed,asthewaitresssetourwineglassesdown,andItookasip.
“Ofcourse.Idon’twasteenergyonpeoplewhoaren’timportant.Andshe’snotimportant.”
Mybloodboiled.
Shecouldn’tbemorewrong.
AndIcouldn’twaittosendheronherwaytheminutewefinishedeating.
Mydickwouldhavetowaitformyrighthandonceagaintonight.
I’drathergetoffthinkingofmyassistantforthemillionthtimethisweekthanspendthenightwiththiswoman
Check,please.elevenGeorgia
MyfatherwastalkingaboutourmanytripstoseeSantaovertheyears,andGraciewasbusydrawingapictureofherandSanta.
Ithadbeenadorable,andmyphonewasfilledwithpicturesofGraciesittingonhislap,givinghimthelongversionofherwishesforChristmas.IsnappedafewpicsofCagestewingasMr.Weberfollowedhimaround,talkingnonstop.CagekeptwhisperinginmyearthathewasgoingtogiveanastyYelpreviewaboutbeingfollowedaroundbyanelfthatwasthreesheetstothewind.
AsifanyoneinCottonwoodCovereliedonthosereviews.Thiswasasmalltown.Everyonekneweverything,soreviewsweren’treallynecessary.Butmystubbornolderbrotherneededtotakehisaggressionoutsomewhere,soIwouldn’tpointitoutandruinhisfun.
Myeyeskeptmovingtothetableafewfeetaway,wheremybosssatwiththeicequeen.Thewomandidn’teventrytofakeit.
Sheputtheitchinbitch,nodoubtaboutit.
Myphonevibratedonthetableaseveryonecontinuedlaughingandtalkingandtellingstoriesasourfoodwasplacedinfrontofus.
Bossman
Sorryaboutthat.Iletherknowshewasrude.
Rudeissomeonenotsayingthankyou.Yourdatecouldgivethedevilarunforhismoney.Notsurewhatyouseeinsomeonewhogivesoffmajormean-girlvibesandhasthewarmthofanicesculpture.
Bossman
Didn’tyourlastboyfriendstealyourcar?
Yes.He’snothere,though,ishe?
Bossman
Fairenough.WoulditbeallrightifIcameoverandmetyourfamily?IpromiseIwon’tinsultyou.
They’dliketomeetyou.Iwouldn’tletthemcomeoverforfearyourdatemightpullthestickoutofherassandbeatthemwithit.
Bossman
Wisechoice.I’llbeovershortly.
CagewasrantingaboutSantawhenMaddoxapproachedthetable,andeveryoneturnedtolookathim.
Themanjusthadawayofdrawingeveryone’sattention.
Itwasmorethanhisheightandhisgoodlooks.Itwashisdemeanor.
“I’msorrytointerrupt.Ijustwantedtointroducemyself,”hesaidbeforemynieceinterrupted.
“You’reAuntGeorgie’sbossman?”
Everyonelaughed,andMaddox’slipstwitchedinthecornersbeforeasmiletookoverhisface.
“Yes.I’mMaddoxLancaster,andIjustwantedtosayyouhaveraisedanamazingyoungwoman.She’sdoneafantasticjobsofar.”
“She’sthebest.Nodoubtaboutit,”myfathersaid.“I’mBradfordReynolds,andthisismywife,Alana.”Hewentontointroduceeveryoneatthetable,andMaddoxmadehiswayaround,shakingeveryone’shands.Itwasunexpectedbutappreciated.
WhenhegottoGracie,sheheldupherhandforahigh-five.Maddoxgentlytappeditwithhishandandbentdowntomeethergaze.“DidyougoseeSantatonight?”
Shegasped.“Didhetellyou?”
Iusedmyhandtocovermymouthtokeepfromlaughing,expectingMaddoxtocorrectherandtellherthatIhadlethimknowwhereweweregoing.Butinstead,heshockedtheshitoutofme.“Hedid.Iranintohimonmywayinhere,andhetoldmetolookforthecutestgirlintheplaceandtellherthatshewasatthetopofhislist.”
WherethehellwasMr.Moody?Maybehe’dalreadyhadsexwithhisevilqueen,andhewasmorerelaxednow.
Everyoneatthetablesmiled,includingCage,whichsaidalot.
“Thankyou,Bossman.ItoldDaddyIwasgoingtobethebestgirlthisyear.”
Maddoxpushedbacktostandandsmiledather.“Ithinkyoudidit.Itwasnicetomeetyouall.I’llletyougetbacktoyourdinner.”
Hesaunteredbacktothetable,andBrinkleyleanedinclosetome.“Holyshitballs.Myovariesjustexploded.He’ssofreakinghot.Andsexy.Hedoesn’tseemthatmean…NotthatIwouldcarewhenhelooksthatgood.”
Ilickedmylips,tryingtocalmmyracingheartbecauseIfeltthesameway.“Hewasdefinitelybeingnicertoyouguysthanhenormallyis.HeprobablyknowsI’vetoldyouhowrudeheis,sohe’stryingtomakemelooklikeI’mbeingdramatic.ButIguessIhaveseenthesoftersideofhimafewtimes.He’sjustprettyintenseatwork.”Icouldn’ttellherwhathedidformeregardingmycarbecauseI’dhavetotellherthewholestoryandIdidn’twanttogothere.
“Well,hedefinitelylikesyou.”
“Hecan’tstandme,”Isaidwithachucklebecauseshewasobviouslymisreadingthat.
“Hehasn’ttakenhiseyesoffyousinceyouwalkedin.Idon’tthinkhisdateistoopleasedaboutit,nordoIthinkshe’llbegettinganytonight.”Shelaughed.
“Don’tberidiculous.Iworkforhim.Heremindsmeofthatconstantly.Andhe’safewyearsolderthanmeanyway,sohedateswomen,notcollegegrads.”
“Youareawoman.Andsowhatifhe’safewyearsolder?Definitelynottoooldforyou.You’vebeendatingtheselosers,andthatrightthereisarealman.”
“Whatarewewhisperingabout?”mymotherasked.
“Nothing.Workstuff.”Ishrugged.
“Well,yourbossseemsveryimpressedwithyou,”Momsaid.
“Hedoesseemimpressed,doesn’the?”Brinkleyteased.
“Well,heshouldbe.She’samazing,”Lilasaidasshewinkedatme.“Sheworkssuchlonghours.Wehardlygettoseeher.”IlovedlivingwithHughandLila,butshewasright.Iusuallygothomesolatetheywerealreadyinbed.AndIleftearlytoavoidthemseeingthescooter,butnowthatMaddoxhadgottenmycarback,Icouldtakemytimeinthemornings.
“Thankyou.Igotmycarbacktoday,”Isaidproudly.
“Ahh…soyourbosswon’thavetosendacartogetyoueverymorning,huh?”Hughasked.
“Nope.Icandrivemyself.”IhatedthatI’dliedtothem,butsometimes,littlewhitelieswerenecessarytospareeveryonealotofdrama.
“LookslikeourGeorgiegirlisgrowingup,”Cageteasedashepoppedanonionringintohismouth.
“Ineedtoheadbacksoon,”Finnsaid,rubbinghisbelly.“Ihavetobeonsetearlyinthemorning.”
“I’lldropyouoffonmywaytothecity.”Brinkleyreachedforherwaterandtookasip.“Gladwesnuckinafamilydinnerthisweek.”
“Well,it’sabigdaywhenourgrand-girlgetstoseeSanta,”myfathersaid.
“Andyourgrand-girlisatthetopofthelist.Bossmansaidso.”
IglancedovertoseeMaddoxandhisdateleavingtherestaurant.Washetakingherhomewithhim?
Mystomachwrenchedatthethoughtofherinthatbeautifulhome.
Thethoughtofherwithhim.
“Youokay?”Finnasked,ashedroppedanarmaroundmyshoulder.“Youlookalittlepale.”
“No,I’mfine.Justtired.”
“Yourbossseemslikeacoolguy.NotwhatIexpected,”hesaid.“Ithoughthewasgoingtobethisrich,arrogantprick.”
“Well,heisrich.Hecanbeveryarrogant.Andhedefinitelyhashisprick-ishmoments.”Buthe’dtakenmetothatmeetingandintroducedmetomyunicornauthor.Heletmereadtheentiremanuscript.Andhehadgottenmycarbackforme.Themanwasfullofsurprises.“Buthehasareallydecentsidetohim,too.”
“Wasthathiswife?”Finnasked.“Shewasprettyhot.”
“Sheisnothiswife,”Ihissed.
“Ohhhh,down,girl.Istruckanerve.”
Weallstoodfromthetableandmadeourwayoutside,andIturnedtohughimgoodbye.“Notatall.Shejustwasn’tverynice.Andshe’snotthatpretty,isshe?”
Helaughedandshookhishead.“No.Iwasmistaken.She’sextremelyunattractive.”
“Whoarewetalkingabout?”Cagepokedhisheadin.“Thehottiewithyourboss?Isthathiswife?”
“No.”Irolledmyeyes.“He’snotmarried.”
“Iwasjusttellingherhowunattractiveshewas,”Finnsaid,hisvoicealltease.
“Thewomaninthereddress?”Cagewasn’tpickinguponthesocialcues.“Bigbreasts,bigass,prettyface?”
“Shehadsevererestingbitchface,”Igrumped.
“Bitchescanstillbehot,”Cagesaid,andFinnshothimalook,asmythreebrothershadalwaysbeenabletocommunicatewithoutwords.“Butthatwomanwasdefinitelynothot.Definitelynot.”
NowitwasmyturntolaughasIturnedtoCageandhuggedhim.“Goodnight,brother.”
“ThanksforgoingwithustoseeSanta.Loveyou,Georgie.”
“Loveyou,too.Itwasfun.”IleanedforwardandkissedGraciegoodbyeasshepattedHugh’scheekswithherlittlehandsasheheldher.
“Loveyou,”shesaidasCagetookherfromourbrother,andIhuggedmyparentsgoodbye.
IclimbedintothetruckwithHughandLila,andweheadedhome.Wechattedaboutmybossontheshortdrivehome,andtheyaskedatonofquestionsabouthim.Whenwegottothehouse,theyaskedifIwantedtowatchamovie,butIwasexhausted,soIturnedthemdownandmademywaytomyroomtocurlupwithagoodbookandforgetaboutthisnight.
WhywasIinabadmood?
Bossmanwasallowedtodate.WhydidIcare?Hewasmyboss.
Nothingmore.
***
Thenextweekhadbeenbusierthaneverasweweretryingtogetasmuchdonebeforetheholidaybreakaspossible.Christmaswasrightaroundthecorner,andIhadjustfinishedmyholidayshoppingthispastweekend.
Maddoxwasrunningmeragged.Weworkedlonghours,asIneverlefttheofficeuntilhedid.I’dtakencareoforderingallthecorporategiftsthisyear,andhe’dalsotaskedmewithshoppingforeveryoneonhispersonalChristmaslist.IwasthrilledtoseethatHeatherwasnotonthelist,butmaybehe’dshoppedforheronhisown…Andinsteadofdoingwhatheusuallydid,whichwasgettingallofhisgiftsfromoneplaceforeveryoneinhisfamily,Itookthetimetoinquireabouteachpersonandtheirspecificinterests.Itwasalot,butI’dgotteneverythingdone
Andtonight,Ihadadate.
Afterseeinghimoutwiththatawfulwoman,he’dmotivatedmetoputmyselfoutthere.
OrmaybeIjustwantedtotellhimthatIhadadate.
Ihadn’taskedhimaboutHeatherafterthatnight,andwecontinuedonwithbusinessasusualthispastweek.He’dordereddinnerinforusmostnights,andIateinhisofficewhileweworked.
Buttonight,Ineededtoleaveearly,andI’dlethimknowthatafewdaysago.Ihadn’tsaidwhy,justthatIwouldneedtoleaveatanormalhour.Hehadn’taskedanyquestionsatthetime,somaybehedidn’tcare.
MydeskphonebuzzedjustasIshutmycomputerdown.
“Yes?”Isaid,asIknewitwashim.Wewerethelasttwopeopleattheoffice.
“Didyouorderdinner?Ifeellikepasta.Howaboutyou?”
“Iorderedyoudinner,andIgotyouthepasta.Itwillbedeliveredinthirtyminutes.Butremember,Ihavetoleavetonight,soIwon’tbeeatinghere.”
“Whereareyougoing?”
WhywasIsoexcitedtotellhim?
“Ihaveadate.”
Silence.
Crickets.
Thesoundofhimtypingonhiskeyboardhalted.
“Areyouthere?”Iasked.
“Yes.Youaren’tgoingoutwiththatturdlickerthatstoleyourcar,areyou?BecauseIwillnotgooutofmywayagaintogetyourcarbackifyouare.Idon’tbelieveinsecondchances,Tink,soit’saoneanddoneforme,”hegrowled.
Irolledmyeyes,eventhoughhecouldn’tseemesittingouthereatmydesk.“No.Notthatit’sanyofyourbusiness,butI’mgoingoutwithaguyIwenttohighschoolwith.Jake’sgreat,andhewilldefinitelynotstealmycar.Butthankyouforremindingmeofmybiggestmistake,onceagain.”
“Hey,Ican’thelpitifyouhavehorridtasteinmen.”
“Well,aftermeetingyourdate,I’dsaywehavesomethingincommon.”
“Mydatesdon’tstealfromme,”hehissed.
“No?They’rejustgold-diggingicequeenswithnopersonality?”
“Well,yourwhiny-assexcriedlikealittlebitchwhenIconfrontedhim.Ithinkyoustillwinfortheworstpickofalltime.”
“Iwillnotletyouruinmydatetonightwithyoursourattitude.I’mleaving.Youwillhavetoansweryourownphoneandgodownstairsandgrabyourdinner.I’mofftheclock,Bossman,”Ihissed.
HeappearedinthedoorwaysofastIjumpedoutofmychair.“Isthatwhatyou’rewearing?”
“No.I’mgoingtowearsomethingextrasexy,”Isaid,plasteringabigsmileonmyfaceasIslippedonmycoat
“Well,don’twearanythingtoorevealing.WehavethatmeetingtomorrowwithArthurHobbs,andIcan’thaveyouinthereifyou’resick.”Hecrossedhisarmsoverhischest.
“I’mnotsick.I’llbethere.”
“Ifyoustayoutlateandyouaren’thereontime,thathelicopterwillleavewithoutyou,”hesaid,hisvoicedarkandangryashemovedclosertomeandtuggedmycoatclosedatthetop.
“HaveIeverbeenlate?”Iraisedabrow.“Doyouhaveaproblemwithmegoingonadate?”
Hislipspursed,andhescoffed.“WhythefuckwouldIcareifyouwentonadate?”
“Idon’tknow,Bossman.Youseemalittleirritated.”Iglanceddownathishandsonmycoat.
Heletgoofmeandtookastepback.“I’mirritatedwhenpeopledon’tdotheirjob.”
“AndI’mirritatedwhenpeoplegivemewhiplash.”Igrabbedmypurseandstormedawayfromhim,headingforthedoor.
“Thatmakesnosense.Remember,sometimeslessismore,Tink!”heshouted,andImademywaydownthestairs.
Lessismore,myass.
Hewasapompous,arrogantjerk,andIwasnotgoingtolethimruinmynight.
Igotinmycaranddrovehomequicklytochangeclothesandfreshenmymakeup.
ImadeittotheCottonwoodCaféjustthirtyminuteslater.Thewomanthatownedtheplace,Mrs.Runither,wasarealmenace,andsheconstantlyaskedpeoplewaytoomanypersonalquestions,butthisiswhereJakePruitwantedtomeet.
IwasstillfumingaboutmyexchangewithMaddoxwhenIsteppedinside,andMrs.Runithergreetedme.
“GeorgiaReynolds.Lookatyou.Jaketoldmehe’smeetingyouhere,andI’mguessingyoutwowillbebumpingandgrindinginnotime,”shepurred.“ButIwanttoknowaboutthatbossofyours.He’sveryeasyontheeyes.Doeshehaveawoman?”
Igroaned.“I’mnotamadam.I’mapersonalassistant,forgod’ssake.Idon’tmanagehissexlife.Andshameonyouformakingeveryoneuncomfortablewhentheycomehere,andalltheywantissomefreakingmacaroniandcheese.”
Hereyeswidened.Thewomanhadaskedmeaboutmysexlifeonetoomanytimes.She’dpesteredmeaboutmyvirginityforyearsanddecidedtoannouncetomyparentsatdinneronenightthatshecouldtellIwasnolongeravirginwhenI’dcomehomefromcollegemyfreshmanyearforavisit.Iwasobviouslymortified,andwe’dlaugheditoffandallagreedshewasnotplayingwithafullstack,butithadn’tbeenlostonmethatshe’dbeencorrect.Shehadsomesortofsexsnifferthatcoulddetectwhensomeonewasdoingit.
AndIwasoverit.
BecauseIhadn’tdoneitinquitesometime,andworkingforamanwhohappenedtobeeverywoman’swetdreamwasnothelpingmycurrentsituation.
Iwashornyandhangry.
Itwasaterriblecombination.
“Well,then…let’sgetyousomemacandcheese,”shesaid,forcingasmileonherfacebeforegrumblingunderherbreath.“Clearly,someoneisn’tgettingany.”
IrolledmyeyesandmademywaytothetablewhereJakewassitting.Hesmiledandwaved.Ihadn’tseenhiminawhile,ashe’dgonetotheEastCoastforcollege,andhedidn’tseemtocomehomemuch.Buthe’dalwaysbeenagoodguy.
“Well,aren’tyouasightforsoreeyes,GeorgiaReynolds,”hesaidashepushedtohisfeetandhuggedme.
Hewasgood-looking.
Smelledlikeapinetree.
Andhehadagoodjobasanaccountant.
ButallIcouldthinkaboutwasthesexybastardwho’druinedmynight.twelveMaddox
ThegoddamnedpastawasnotthesamekindthatI’dhadtheothernight.
Wasshepurposelyfuckingwithme?
Ipickedupmyphoneandtextedher.
Theysentthespaghettiandmeatballs,andyouknowIdon’tlikeredsauce.
Tink
Well,sometimes,shithappens.Iwillcalltheplaceandhavethemsendoverthecorrectorder,yourhighness.<crownemoji><middlefingeremoji>
It’shighlyunprofessionaltoflipoffyourboss.Forgetthepasta.I’mheadinghome.I’lleatsomethingthere.
Tink
I’llsendthecorrectpastatoyourhouse,then.
IknewIwasbeingahugedick.Iwasn’tmadaboutthepasta.Therewashardlyevenanysauceonit.Iwaspissedthatshewasonadate,whichmadenosenseatall.
Justskipit,Tink.They’llprobablyfuckitupagain,andI’mnoteventhathungry.Justgohavefunwithyourdate.
Tink
Isthatanapology?
Definitelynot.
Butkindof,yes.Ididn’tapologizeoften,butIknewIwasinthewrong.
Tink
Whydon’tIgopickupthepastaandbringittoyourhousemyselfsoIcanmakesurethatit’stherightone.Wouldthatbebetter?
Nowshehadmyattention.
Nothavingfunonyourdate?
Istaredatmyphonelikeafuckingteenagerwaitingtowatchaporno.
Tink
No.Myarrogant,ridiculous,grumpy,hot-headedbossputmeinabadmood.Andmydatehasbeentalkingabouthisex-girlfriendforthelastfortyminutes,andhejustfinishedcryingabouttheirbreakup.Aworkemergencywouldcomeinhandyrightaboutnow.
IsmiledbecauseIcouldn’thelpmyself.
I’mnotridiculous.
Tink
That’stheonlythingthatoffendedyoufromthatcomment?
WhatcanIsay?Youknowmewell.I’llorderdinnerforbothofusfromReynolds’.Meetmeatmyhouseintwentyminutes.I’vegotsomecontractstogooverwithyouanyway.
Ididn’t.ButIwantedhertocomeover.
WanteditsobadIcouldbarelyseestraight.
Tink
Good.Ihaven’teatenbecauseIwastoopissedofftoeat.
Well,allowmetoturnyourmoodaround.
Tink
There’safirstforeverything.
Suchasmart-ass.
IquicklycalledindinnerfromReynolds’becauseIknewshelovedthefoodatherbrother’srestaurant.IorderedusboththeribsasI’dnoticedhereatingthemthenightI’dbeentherewithHeather.I’dbeenfantasizingaboutthewayGeorgiahadlickedthesaucefromherfingerseversince.Ialsoorderedoneofeverysingledessertonthemenuasmywayofapologizing.
AndthefactthatIwasactuallybuzzingaboutgrabbingdinnerandmeetingheratmyhousehadmeslightlyfreakedout.
ButIdidn’tcare.
ThatwashowfargoneIwasforthisgirl.
I’dbeenpissedoffsinceshe’dleft,anditwasallbecauseshe’dtoldmethatshewasgoingonadate.
Whatkindofsickbastardhasahissyfitoverawomanthathehasn’tevenadmittedhehadfeelingsforgoingoutwithsomeoneelse?
Inmydefense,Ididn’tevenknowIwascapableofhavingfeelingsforsomeoneelseuntilthiswomanflutteredherwayintomylife.
Thatwashowlongithadbeen.
IpulledintoReynolds’andjoggedinside.
“Heythere,handsome,”thehostesssaid,makingmeextremelyuncomfortable,seeingasshewasclearlyateenager
“Hello.IhaveapickuporderforMaddoxLancaster.”Ididn’tsmile.Ididn’tneedthischildmisreadingme.
“Maddox,nicetoseeyou,”HughReynoldssaid,comingaroundthehostessstandwithalargebagoffood.“Thanksforordering.”
“Ofcourse.”Iwasn’tabouttotellhimitwasforhissister.
“Georgiacalledaheadtomakesuretheydidn’tmessuptheorder.Shetoldmeaboutthemix-upattheotherplace.”Hechuckled.
Wow.Theseweresomeclosesiblings.Theytalkedalot.Ididn’thavethatkindofrelationshipwithmybrotherbecauseweweren’tbigontheemotionalstuffinmyfamily.
Clearly.
AndnowherbrotherprobablythoughtIwasabigpussyforcomplainingaboutthefood.
Ithadnothingtodowiththefuckingredsauce.
“Yeah.Iprobablysoundlikeanasshole.Iwasjustinamood.”Ishrugged.
Hestudiedmeforalongmomentandthenclappedmeontheback.“Beenthere,man.Noworries.Hopefullywegotitright,andthisisjustasignthatyoushouldbeeatingallyourmealshere.”
Inoddedandtookthebagfromhim.“Thefoodisdamngood.Thankyou.”
“Hey,Maddox,”hesaid,asIstartedtostepaway.
“Yeah?”
Hemovedcloser,aswewerestandingofftothesidefromthehostessstandnow,andtheplacewasbusyonceagain.Clearly,theyhadthebestfoodintown.Butnoonewaspayingusanyattention.
“Georgiaisallsunshineandsmiles,butshehasatenderheart.”
Whatthefuckdidthatmean?Iknewshesaidtheirmomwasatherapist,somaybetheywereallveryopenaboutthistypeofshit.
“Well,she’sprettysweettoeveryoneatworkasidefromme,soIdon’tknowwhatthat’sabout,”Isaid,tryingtomakelightofwhateverthefuckweweretalkingabout.
Hechuckled.“Ithinkyouknowexactlywhatthat’sabout,myfriend.”
Ididn’t.ButIassumedheknewtherewasabitofagrayareawithus,becauseGodforbid,shedidn’ttellherfamilyeverything.
“Ithinkshehatesmemostofthetime.”
“Georgiadoesn’thavethecapacitytohate.She’sexactlywhatyouthinksheis—allgoodness,man.She’salwaysbeenthatway.Just…don’tgothereunlessyoureallywanttogothere,allright?Yougotme?”
Inowknewwhyshedidn’ttellherfamilyabouthercarbeingstolen.Thisguywasmysizeandlookedlikeasalt-of-the-earthdude,buthealsogaveoffthevibethathe’dhuntmedownandkillmeslowlyifIhurthissister.
“Igotyou.”
“Good.Andnicemovewithallthedesserts.That’llscoreyoubigpointswithher.She’sgotasweettooth.Seeyoulater,brother.”Hebarkedoutalaughbeforeclappingmehardontheshoulderandturningaroundtowalktowardthebar.
WhydidIfeellikeIwasleavingwithabagoffoodbutalsoawarning?
Like,enjoytheribs,buddy,butifyoufuckup,you’regoingtofindahorse’sheadinyourbedtomorrowmorning.
WhenIgottothehouse,Ihurriedinsideandturnedonthefireplaceandsetthefoodoutonthetable.
Thedoorbellrang,andIshookoffwhateverthefuckIwasfeeling.
Nervous.
Excited.
Iwasn’tthatguy.Thiswasdinner.Withanemployee.
Sowhatifmyrighthandhadbeenhardatworkforweekswiththoughtsofher?
Ihadn’tactedonanything.
Yet.
Ididn’tdorelationshipsorfeelingsoranyofthatshit.
AndHughReynoldswasright.Hissisterwasallgoodness.Thekindofgirlthatdeservedthatfairy-talebullshit.
Ipulledthedooropen,andshestoodthereinalightbluetrenchcoat.
“Hey,Bossman.I’mstarving.”Shemarchedrightpastmetowardthekitchenlikesheownedtheplace.Maybeafterherover-the-topsingingperformanceinmycloset,shekindofdid.
Ipoureduseachaglassofwineandsethersinfrontofherbeforesittingdownatthetableacrossfromher.
Ipickedupmyforktodivein,andsheheldupherglassandraisedabrow.Idroppedmyforkanddidthesame.
“Cheerstoyouforacknowledgingthatyouwerewrong.Evenifyoucouldn’treallysayit,yousortofdid.”
“I’lldrinktothat,butonlybecauseI’mthirsty.”Ismirked.
Weclinkedourglasses,andItookasip,mygazeneverleavinghers.
“Howwasthedate?”
“Well,IthinkIgothimbackwithhisex.Wetalkeditthrough,andthenIhelpedhimsendheratextmessage,andthey’retalkingagain.So,Iguessitwassuccessful.”Shesmiled.
Andmygoddamnchestsqueezed.
AsmilefromGeorgiaReynoldswasbetterthananygiftI’deverreceived.Myfamilyhadashittonofmoney,andmaterialthingsweretheonlywaytheyknewhowtoshowlove,sothatwassayingsomething.
“Ofcourse,yougotthembacktogether.DoalltheReynoldskidschanneltheirinnertherapist?Yourbrotherseemslikeaprettydeepdude.Isawhimattherestaurant.”
“Hugh’sgotthebiggestheart,buthepretendstobethisbig,toughguy.AndCageactslikeagrump,buthe’dgiveyoutheshirtoffhisback.Finnisalover,andhedoesn’ttrytohideit.Brinkleyistoughasnails,butloyaltothecore.So,Iguess,yeah,they’veallgotmagicalqualities,youknow?”Shebitdownonherbottomlipasshethoughtaboutit.“Tellmeaboutyourbrother.”
“Mybrotheris…angry.Hehatesourfather.HatesthepressurethatcomeswithbeingaLancaster.Wantsnothingtodowiththefamilybusiness,asidefromspendingthemoney.Andthere’splentyofit,sonoonereallyfightshimonit.”
“Hesoundslikehe’sjustlost.”Herdarkblueeyeswerefilledwithempathy.“Moneycanonlybuyyouthings.Itcan’tbuyyouhappinessorlove.Whyishesoangry?”
IfinishedeatingmyribanddroppedtheboneontotheplateasIthoughtitover.Ididn’tdodeepconversations—ever.
Ilikedtokeepmyprivatelifeprivate.
ButItrustedGeorgiaReynoldsforreasonsthatIcouldn’tfullycomprehend.
Iletoutalongbreath.“Ourfatherisanasshole.Notlikethetypeofassholesthatyouknow,orevenlikethelastoneyoudated.He’sarealdarkfucker.”
“Tellme.”
“DoIneedtohaveyousignanNDAfirst?”Iteased,butitwasn’treallyajoke.Iprotectedoursecretsjustlikeeveryoneinourfamilydid.
“Ifyoutellmesomethingandyousayit’sasecret,Iwilltakeittothegrave.I’mnotgoingtosellyouout.Idon’tneedthemoney.IhaveeverythingIwantalready.”Shechuckled,butIcouldtellthatshemeantwhatshesaid.Ifounditfascinatingthatawomanwhohadbeenbasicallycarlessnotsolongago,whoalsohappenedtoliveinacasitainherbrother’shouse,claimedtohaveeverythingthatshewanted.I’dbeensurroundedbypeoplewhohadeverymaterialthingunderthesunmyentirelife.
Bighousesandfancycars.
Vacationsthatmostpeoplecouldn’tevendreamof.
Jewelryandpursesandeveryluxuryitemonecouldwant.
Yettheywereallmiserableintheirownway.
Andthisgirlreallydidhaveeverythingthatshewanted.Iadmiredit.Irespectedit.
Apartofmelongedforit.
“Myfatherhasbeeninthepressovertheyearsforbeingabitofadouchebag.Butthatdoesn’tevenscratchthesurface.Hewasanabsenteefather,anabsenteehusband,andaselfishprickofahumanbeing.Buthehasaridiculousamountofmoney,sohegetsexcusedforhisactionsconstantly.”
Sheforkedabiteofmashedpotatoesasshelistenedintently,likewhatIwassayingwasthemostimportantthingshe’deverheard.
“Andwhereisyourmother?”
Istartledabitatherwords,surprisedthatshedidn’tknow.“Youdon’treadthetabloids,huh?MymotherpassedawaywhenIwasaseniorinhighschool.ShefoughtLouGehrig’sdisease,alsoreferredtoasALS,fortwohardyears.”
Sheshookherheadashereyesfilledwithtears.
Thisgirlhadsomuchempathyandheart—sheremindedmeofmymotherinalotofways.
“I’msosorry,Maddox.”Hervoicewasjustawhisper.
“I’msurprisedyoudidn’tgoogleme.Herfightwiththediseasewasrampantontheinternet.Thebillionaire’swife’slifethatcametoatragicendwaytooearly,”Ihissed.
“Iwouldnevergoogleyou.Iliketomakeassessmentsaboutpeopleonmyown.I’mreallysorryaboutyourmom.Thatmusthavebeenunbelievablyhard.”
Harddoesn’tevenbegintodescribeit.
Whenyouhaveoneparentwholovesyouunconditionallyandthenthat’stakenaway…Well,itmakesyouacold,ruthlessbastardwhenitcomestopersonalrelationships.
JustanotherreasonthatIshouldbestayingfarawayfromthiswoman.
Butsometimes,allthereasonsintheworldjustdon’tmatter.
Becausewantingherseemedtobetrumpingeverything.thirteenGeorgia
Myheartached.I’dcomeoverherewantingtogivehimapieceofmymind,andinstead,Iwantedtowrapmyselfaroundhimandmakeeverythingbetter.
Icouldn’tfathomthatkindofloss.Mycousinshadlosttheirmom,myaunt,fartooyoung,andithadbeenahorribletimeforallofus.
Griefwasacruelbeast.
“Areyouandyourbrotherclose?”Iasked,becauseafterallthey’dbeenthrough,Icouldn’timaginenotleaningononeanother.
“Weareinourownway.Buthereallyshutdownaftermymother’sdeath.Hell,Iguesswealldid.Wyleisarecklessandangryguy.”
Theheavinessinmychestmadeithardtobreathe.
“I’mguessinghe’sprobablylonely.Didhelivewithyourfatherafteryourmotherpassed?”
“No.Hedespisesourfathermostofthetime.”Heletoutalongbreathandstaredatmeforamomentasifheweredecidinghowmuchhewouldshare.“ALSisabrutaldisease.Myfatherdidn’thandleitwell,tosaytheleast.He’dmarriedasupermodel,andapparently,they’dbeenridiculouslyinloveatonepoint.Atleast,thatwaswhatshe’dtoldus,andIdorememberhimbeingaroundalotmorebeforemymomgotsick.Buthecheckedoutaftershewasdiagnosed.Obviously,wehadthemoneyandtheresourcesforthebestcare,sowehadanursethatlivedwithusfulltimethatlastyear,ontopofthestaffthatwasusuallyaround.Mymotherrefusedtogotoahospital,asshewantedtobeinherhome,surroundedbyfamily.Butmyfatherwasoutbeingphotographedwithwomen,withnotacareintheworldabouthowthatwouldmakemymotherfeel,whileshewaslosingcontrolofherbodyandherspeecheverysingleday.”
“Ohmygosh,”Iwhispered,tryingtospeakoverthelumpinmythroatthatwassothickitwasdifficulttotalk.“Andyouweretherewithheruntiltheend?”
“WyleandIwerebothwithher.Shewasstillmentallythere,youknow?AndIlearnedtodecipherherspeechthoselastfewweeks,eventhoughmostpeoplecouldn’tunderstandwhatshewassaying.I’dcalledourfatherandbeggedhimtocomehomeduringthattime,buthewasoffinEuropewithsomerandomwoman.Hewantednothingtodowithmymomonceshewassick.So,Iwatchedhersufferphysically,butevenmoresoemotionally.”
“That’shorrible.Henevercamebacktosaygoodbye?”
“No.Hehadn’tbeenhomeinweeks,whichiswhenthingsgotreallybad.Heclaimshecouldn’twatchit.He’saselfishasshole.Hethoughtthenurseswouldhandleeverything.Butmymomdidn’twanttodiewithawomanshebarelyknewatherbedside.”
“So,whathappened?”
“ItwasChristmasEve,andwewereallsupposedtogotomygrandparents’thenextday.Apparently,myfatherwasgoingtograceusallwithhispresenceandreturnhomethefollowingmorninglikesomesortoffuckingChristmasmiracle.Momwasinawheelchairatthattime,soshewasnolongerwalkingandhadn’tbeenforawhile.ButIknewthingswerebadbecauseshewaschokingallthetimeandhadrefusedtobeputonaventilator.Shedidn’twanttoextendherlifeatthatpointbecauseshedidn’tfeellikeshewasreallyliving,youknow?”
“Icanunderstandthat.”
Henoddedbeforehelookedawayandthenturnedbacktofaceme.“Agaspingsoundwokemefrommysleepthatnight.I’dhearditbefore,butthenursewasalwaystheretryingtosettleher.Ididn’thearanyonetalkingtoher,soImademywaydownthehallandfoundhergaspingforairinherbed.Icalledoutforhelp,buttherewasnonurse,nostaff.Noonewasthere.”
Hisshoulderswerestiff,hiseyesdistant,andmychestsqueezedatthesightofhim.“Wherewerethey?”
“Welearnedthenextmorningthatshe’dsenteveryonehome.Ithinksheknewshewasattheend.Shedidn’twantthemthere.Theyrespectedherwishes.AndIwasfuckingtherewithher.Isawhertakeherlastbreath.”
“Maddox,”Iwhispered,mybottomliptrembling.“WasWylewithyou?”
Heshookhishead.“Itriedtoshieldhim.Toldhimtogogethisphoneandcall911.Itriedpoundingonherbackasshechokedinmyarms.Andwhenshefinallystoppedcoughingandchoking,IattemptedCPR.Butshewasalreadygone.”Maddoxhadbeenthereforhismother’slastbreath,onChristmas,noless.He’dsteppedupforhisbrother.Forhisfamily.Butwho’dbeenthereforhim?
“Maddox,I’msosorry.”
“Yeah.Itwasatoughtime.Itriedtobethereformybrotherbecausehewasdrowningingrief.Buthewasneverthesameaftershepassed.AndthenIleftforHarvardthatfollowingyear,andwewereallstillgrieving.We’dwatchedhersufferforsolong,andthenshewasgone.”
“Andyourfather?”
“Hestayedawayforawhileafterourmother’sdeath.Obviously,heattendedthefuneral,butwedidn’tspeaktohim.I’msuretherehastobesomeshamethereforthewayheabandonedherduringherdyingdays.Imean,onewouldhopehefeelssomething,butIjustdon’tknow.Sonow,wedothefamilythingsweneedtodotogether.Heattendsthepress-worthyevents—graduations,weddingsforfamilymembers—andweallputonfakesmilesandactlikeoneunitedfamily.Hesaidalltherightthingstothepresstomakehimselflooklikethegrievinghusbandaftershepassedaway.Paintedhimselfthevictim.Butthetruthis,mymotherlovedacold-bloodedasshole,andheisn’tcapableoflovinganyoneback.”
Imovedtomyfeet,andhiseyeswidenedwhenIwalkedovertohim.Imotionedforhimtopullhischairback.Hedidn’tfightitanddidasIasked.Isatdownonhislap,myarmswrappingaroundhisneck,andIburiedmyfacebeneathhisjaw.
Hedidn’tmoveatfirst,buthedidn’tpushmeawayeither.Afterseveralminutes,hisarmscamearoundme,andonehandtangledinmyhair.
Wesatlikethatforseveralmoreminutesbeforehespoke.
“You’retoogood,GeorgiaReynolds.”Hepulledback,andhisdarkbrowngazesearchedmine.
“You’retoogood,MaddoxLancaster.Youjustdoeverythingyoucantohideit.”
Heshookhishead.“I’mnotpretendingtobesomeonethatI’mnot,Tink.ThisiswhoIam.”
“Andwhoisthat?”Iasked,myfingersgentlytracingthescruffalonghisjaw.
Iwantedthismansofiercelythatmybodyachedforhim.
Evenwhenhemademeangry,Istillwantedhim.
“I’mfocusedonwork.AndwhenI’mnotworking,I’maprettyselfishguy.Idemandalotfromthepeoplearoundme.”Hishandmovedtomyjaw,andthepadofhisthumbtracedalongmybottomlip.“Idon’tdorelationships,Tink.YousawmewithHeather.That’sasdeepasIgo.”
“Ithinkyouwentprettydeeptonight.Tellmeaboutyourmombeforeshegotsick.Whatwasshelike?”Iranmyfingersthroughhishair,andheclosedhiseyesbriefly,lettingmeknowthathewasenjoyingit.
Hisdarkeyesopenedandfoundminebeforeheclearedhisthroatandletoutalongbreath.“Mymomwasanamazingperson.Theabsolutebest.Butlifewasn’tfairtoher.Shegotahorribledisease,andshehadapiece-of-shithusband.AndwhenWyleandIwouldgetmadandsayshitabouthim,shewouldalwaysstopusandsaythatshefeltliketheirrelationshipbroughtherthetwogreatestgifts.”
“Youandyourbrother,”Iwhispered.
Henodded.“Yep.Thethreeofuswerethickasthievesgrowingup.Dadwastravelingforworkmostofthetime.Herfavoritethingtodowastogooutonourbalconyatnight,underthestarsandstareupatthesky.Itwassomethingshe’dstartedwithuswhenwewerereallyyoung,andwe’ddoiteverynightbeforewe’dgotobed.Itwaswhatshelookedmostforwardtowhenshewassick.I’dpushheroutonthebalconyinherwheelchair.”Hiseyeswerewetwithemotion,andheclearedhisthroat.
“Ilovethat.Whatwouldyoulookfor?”Iasked,watchingashisfacesoftenedwhenhespokeofhismother.
“We’dlookatthedifferentsizesandshapes,andmymomwouldseepatternsthatWyleandIdidn’tsee.She’dclaimthatshecouldseeaheartinthestars,orafairy,andwe’dbothbedesperatetoseeit,youknow?Butmainly,we’dpointouttheplanetsandshe’dtalkabouthowtheheavenswereshiningdownonus.Mymotherhadanamazingimagination.She’dworkedwithmygrandfatherforseveralyearsatLancasterPressbeforeshegotsickbecausereadingwasherpassion.”
“So,shewasclosewithyourgrandparents?”Iasked.
“Yes.Theyadoredher.She’darrangedforWyletomoveinwiththemforhislasttwoyearsofhighschoolaftershepassed.Sheknewmyfatherwouldn’tbethere,andshewantedmetogotocollege.Ithinkshefearedthatifshehadmadeitanotheryear,Iwouldn’thaveleft.”
“Wassherighttoworryaboutthat?”
“Yes.Iwouldhavestayedwithheruntiltheend.”Maddoxshrugged.“Shewasloyalandkindandjust—”Helookedawayforaminute.“Shewasgoodtothecore.Andeverythingfellapartaftershewasgone.Imean,withmyfather.TheangersettledwithWyleandme,andwecouldn’tstandtobearoundhim.”
“Itsoundslikeyourmomwasthegluethatheldyoualltogether.”
Henodded.“Shewas.”
“Hey,Ihaveanidea.”
“Youalwaysdo,Tink.Let’shearit.”
“Yougotallthesedesserts,andyouhavethisbeautifulview.Whatifwegositoutbackandeatthem?”
“Underthestars,”hesaid,hisgazesearchingmine.
“Yeah.Ibetit’stheplaceyoufeelclosesttoher.”
Hestudiedmeforalongmoment.“Ineversitunderthestarsanymore,soIwouldn’tknow.”
“Comeon.”Ipushedtomyfeet,missingthefeelofhisarmsaroundmetheminuteIpulledaway.
“It’sfreezingoutside,”hesaid.
Imovedtothecouchandgrabbedmycoatandhatandstartedcoveringup.“Wecanbundleup,andyouhaveafireplaceoutthere.Don’ttellmeyou’reafraidofthecold.”
Hewasupnow,shakinghisheadashereachedforhiscoatthatwassittingonabarstoolinthekitchen,andheslippedintoit.Hepulledanavybeanieoverhisheadandgrabbedthebagsfilledwithdessertsoffthecounter.
“Thereisn’tmuchI’mafraidof,Tink.AndIlikethecold.”
“Oh,yeah?”
“Yeah.Unlikeyou,Iprefertraditionalsports.You’dhaveahardtimekeepingupwithmeontheslopes.”Heglancedoverhisshoulderandsmirked.
Oncemygloveswereon,myhatsecuredonmyhead,andmycoatzippedallthewayupjustbeneathmychin,wemadeourwayoutside.
Maddoxhadthefirepitupandblazingwithinminutes,andweweresettledonthecozyL-shapedcouch.Hehandedmeaplasticforkandstartedopeningallthecontainers.
Wesampledeachone,bothagreeingthatthepeachcobblerwasthestandout,althoughthebuttercakewasaclosesecond.Hetoldmeabouthisfamilyvacationstodifferentskiresortsalloverthecountry,andIcouldjustpicturehimracinghisbrotherdownthemountain.
ThissideofMaddoxwassovulnerable.Sogenuineandraw.Ilovedthathetrustedmeenoughtoshareitwithme.
“Showmehowtostargaze,”Isaid,asItippedmyheadbacktolookupatthegorgeoussky.Twinklinglightssparkledoverhead,andheshovedthedessertsoutoftheway,placingthecontainersinapileonasidetable.Hepulledmeclose,slidingmybodyalongthecouchuntilmythighwastouchinghis,andhewrappedanarmaroundme.Ileanedmyheadonhisshoulderaswebothlookedup.
“Youseetheonesthataren’ttwinkling?”heasked.
“Yes.”
“Thoseareplanets.”
“Andthetwinklingonesarestars,right?”
“Yep.”
“It’sprettypeacefulunderthestars,isn’tit?”
“Itis.It’sbeenawhilesinceI’vedonethis.”
Ipointeduptotheskyatthewaythestarswereclusteredtogetherinacoolpattern.“Look.It’sacrown.”
Hechuckled.“Iactuallyseeit.”
Wesatinsilence,staringupatthesky,justthesoundofourbreathsfillingtheairaroundus.
“Doyoufeelclosertoherhere?”Iasked,keepingmyvoicelowandsoft.
Hedidn’tanswerforafewseconds.“Iactuallydo.Thanksforbringingmeouthere.”
“I’llmeetyouunderthestarsanytime,Bossman.”
Wesatthere,staringattheskyforthelongesttime.He’dswitchedtheconversationovertomyfamily.AskingwhatitwaslikegrowingupwithallthosesiblingsandlaughinghisassoffatsomeofthestoriesItoldhimaboutthethingswegotintowhenwewereyoung.
“Itsoundslikeaprettymagicalchildhood,huh?”
“Itwas.”
“Itexplainsalotaboutyou,”hesaid,turningtolookatme.Thelightfromthemoonilluminatinghishandsomeface.
“Whatdoesitexplain?”Ismiledupathim.
“Whyyou’resuchalittlefairy,spreadingallthatjoywhereveryougo.”
Ilaughednow.“I’mhardlyafairyallthetime.ButItrytolivemybestlife,youknow?ButIcanbesalty,asyou’veseen.”
“I’veonlyseenitwithme.Andyouhavegoodreasontobecautiouswithme.That’syourinstinctswarningyoutoputupyourguard,”hesaid,hishandmovingaroundthebackofmyneckasIpusheduponmykneestofacehim.
“OrIjustfeelcomfortableenoughwithyoutobemyself.”
“Iguessthefeeling’smutualbecauseI’venevertalkedtoanyoneaboutmyfamily.Butapparently,I’masuckerforafairy.”Hesmiled,hiswhiteteethonfulldisplay,andIthinkitwasthefirstrealsmileI’deverreceivedfromMaddox.
“Apparently,I’masuckerforthebroody,mysterioustype,”Isaid,myfaceinchingcloser.
“Whatyouseeiswhatyougetwithme,Georgia.”Itwasthefirsttimehe’dusedmyrealnamesincethedaywe’dmet.
“WhatifIlikewhatIsee?”
“Impossible.”Thepadofhisthumbmovedacrossmybottomlipslowly.
“Why?”Iwhispered.
“Forstarters,I’myourboss.”
“So.We’llbeacliché.I’vebeencalledworse.”Ilaughed,buthisfacewashard.
“I’mnotthatguy,Tink.Idon’tdorelationships.”
“Well,let’srevisithowmylastrelationshipwent.Heendedupinbedwithmyroommateandthenheldmycarhostage.MaybeIshouldn’tbearelationshipgirlanymore,anyway.MaybeIshouldswitchthingsup.”Iraisedabrow.
“Idon’tfuckmyemployees,”hehissed,andIcouldseehowconflictedhewaswhenIsearchedhisgaze.
“Well,relax,Bossman.Idon’tfuckpeopleI’mnotdating.”Ishrugged,buthisfacewassoclose,andIjustwantedtopressmymouthtohis.
Icouldpracticallytasteit.
HiseyeswidenedatwhatI’dsaidbeforezoninginonmymouthagain.“Thenit’sdone.Wekeepthingsprofessional.”
“Well,Imean,Iwassittingonyourlapinthekitchen,andnowwe’realltangledup,lookingatthestars,soI’dsaywe’vealreadykindofmessedthatup.”
“How?Wehaven’tcrossedtheline.”
“Wearefriends,right?”
“Idon’thavefemalefriends.”
“You’vealsonevertalkedtoanyoneaboutyourmother,amIcorrect?Andyougotmycarbackforme,andwe’vesharedalotaboutourfamilies.Haveyoudonethatwithanotherwoman?”
“No.Never.Mylastbriefrelationshipwasincollege,andshewasconstantlycryingbecauseshesaidIwas,andIquote,‘acold,closed-off,cockybastard.’”
“Iagreewithallofitasidefromtheclosed-offpart,”Isaid,andwebothlaughed.
“So,you’remyfirstfemalefriend,Tink.”
“WhatdidItellyouaboutbeingaproatunusualthings?Lookatthis.Anotherfirst.”
“Yeah,”hesaid,histhumbfallingfrommymouth,andIcouldfeelhimpullingaway.
“But,”Isaid,andhiseyeslockedwithmine.“Idon’tthinkonekisswouldhurt.We’recurious.We’refriends.Friendssometimeskiss,right?”
“Dothey?”Hesmirked.
“Sure.Imean,wespendalotoftimetogether.We’rebothsingle.We’refriends.Weknowitdoesn’tmeananything.Itwouldjustbescratchinganitch.”
“Onetime.Onekiss,”hesaid.Itwasn’taquestion;itwasademand.
“Puckerup,Bossman.”
Hedidn’thesitate.Hismouthcoveredmine,andmylipspartedwithinvitation.Histongueswoopedin,anditslidslowlyinandoutwithpurpose.Hishandswereeverywhere.Onmyface,myneck,myback.Ididn’tknowwhenI’dmovedontohislap,straddlinghim,becauseeverythingwasablur.
I’dneverbeenkissedlikethis.
AndIknewthatonetimewouldneverbeenough.fourteenMaddox
Herlipsweresoft,andIinstantlyregrettedthatwewereoutside,becausetherewerefartoomanyarticlesofclothingbetweenus.
Oneanddone.
Itwouldn’thappenagain.
Butdamn,ifitwasn’tthebestfuckingkissofmylife.
I’dtornherhatoff,needingtorunmyhandsthroughhersilkyhair.
Shewasgrindingupagainstme,andmydickwassohardIthoughtitmightburstthroughthezipper.
Alittlemoanescapedherlips,andIcontinuedtoexplorehermouthwithmytongue,wantingmore.
Needingmore.
HadIeverwantedawomanthewaythatIwantedher?
Thiswasdangerous.Reckless.Sheworkedforme.
Thoughtsofmyfatherfloodedmyhead,andIquicklyreacted.Themanwasawalkingcliché.I’dlostcountoftheassistantshehadcrossedthelinewithovertheyears.
Iplacedahandoneachcheekandpulledherback.
Hereyeswerewild,andherlipsswollenfromwhereI’dkissedher.
Inippedatherbottomliponelasttime.
“That’sit.Onetime.Wegotitoutofoursystems.”
Hergazesearchedmine.AndIsawitallthere.
Thehurt.Theconfusion.
Andthenshequicklyrebounded,herfacehard.“Yep.Itwasn’tevenallthatgreatanyway.”
Sheslidoffmylap,andIreachedforherhat.
Ididn’tcorrectherbecausewebothknewshewaslying.
Hell,Igotit.Iwasdoingthesamething.
Thisshitwasnotgoingtohappen.Iwasn’tthatguy.
Ipushedtomyfeetandturnedoffthefire.
Shehelpedmegatherupthedesserts,andIglancedovermyshouldertoseeherlookingupattheskyonelasttime.
Andmyfuckingchestsqueezed.
ThatwasthekindofshitIavoided.Thishadbeenamassivefuck-up.Sharingsomuch.Crossingtheline.
Thepullwastoostrong,toomuch.
Anditseriouslyscaredtheshitoutofme.
Wemadeourwayinside,andshesetdownthefewcontainersshe’dbroughtinandreachedforherpurseandkeys.“Thanksfordinner.”
“Yep.Bigdaytomorrow.Don’tbelate.”
Shestudiedmeforaminutebeforenodding.“Never.Seeyouinthemorning.”
Iwalkedhertothedoorandwaiteduntilshewasinhercarbeforesteppingbackinside.Ithoughtaboutallthatwe’dsharedtonight.
Ilikedhearingaboutherfamily,andI’dbelyingifIdidn’tadmitthatitfeltgoodtotalkaboutmymotherwithsomeonethatIwasn’tworriedwasgoingtosellmeout.Thepresslovedgettinganyounceofgossipaboutmyfamily.We’dshieldedmymotherfromthepressthoselastfewmonths,andthoughpeopleknewthatshe’dlostherbattletoALS,theydidn’tknowwhatshe’dgonethrough.
IguessI’dfindoutrealquickhowtrustworthyGeorgiaReynoldswas.BecausenothingthatI’dtoldherwaspublicknowledge.
ThestargazingwassomethingonlyWyleandIknewabout.
Ipickedupmyphone.Ithadbeentoolong.IhatedthedistanceIfeltwithmybrother.Itmademeresentmyfatherevenmore.Hisdestructivebehaviorhadcostusallsomuch.
Hey.Howareyoudoing?
Iwaited.Henormallydidn’trespondrightaway,butthethreelittledotsweremovingonthescreen,soIfiguredhewastypingsomething.
Wyle
I’mactuallydoingwell,brother.LookingforwardtoseeingyouonChristmas.
WealwaysspentChristmasatmygrandparents’house.Butithadneverbeenthesamesincemymother’spassing.SomethingaboutfindingyourmomwithoutapulseonChristmasEvehadawayofchangingtheholidayvibe.Butourgrandparentsalwaysdidtheirbesttomakeitacelebration.Theywereclosetoourmother,too,andweallgrievedhardthistimeofyear.Asidefrommyfather,whoactedasifitwerejustanotherdaytoopenpresentsandeatafancymeal.Themanwasheartless.
Me,too.Whydon’tyoucomestaywithmeinCottonwoodCoveforafewdaysafter?Ithinkyou’dlikeithere.
Wyle
Arethereanygood-lookingwomenthere?
IthoughtofGeorgia,andIgrowled,eventhoughIwassittingherealone.Mybrotherwasabitofawomanizer,andhe’dbealloverher.I’djusthavetomakesurethatdidn’thappen.
Yes.Thereareplentyofbeautifulwomenhere.<eyerollemoji>
Wyle
Dadhasbeencallingme,butIhaven’tpickedup.Haveyouseenhimlately?
Iwasbackinthecityafewweeksago,andwehadlunch.Sameshit.Differentday.Yes,I’vemissedafewcalls,too,butwe’llseethebastardsoonenough.
Wyle
Missyou,brother.I’llseeyousoon
ThatwasthemostI’dgottenoutofWyleinawhile.Hewasofftravelingthispastyear,andIwashopinghe’deventuallymovebacktothecityormaybeevencomeworkwithmehereorwithmyfatherattherealestatecompany.
Imademywaytothebathroomandturnedontheshower.Myphonedinged,andIlookeddowntoseeatextfromGeorgia.
Tink
Thanksfortrustingmeenoughtoshareyourmom’sstory.I’mhappywe’refriends,Bossman.
Ithoughtaboutbringingupthekiss.AskingifshethoughtitwasasgoodasIdid.ButIwasn’tgoingtoplaywithfire.I’dbeenburnedtoomanytimesinmylife.
Me,too.Goodnight,Tink.
***
ThenextfewdayswerebusyaswehadthingsinmotionwithMaraSkye.I’djustfinishedaZoomcallwithParamountandArthurHobbs,andthingsweremovingforwardthere.Notonlyweremyeditorsreadingsubmissions,butmypersonalassistant,whonowcalledherselfmy“bestie”andalsohappenedtobethewomanwhostarredineveryfuckingfantasyIhadnow,wasalsoreadingsubmissionsforme.
IwentdownstairsfortheholidaypartythatGeorgiahadorganizedfortheoffice.ItwasthedaybeforeChristmasEve,andwe’dbecloseduntilthedayafterNewYear’s.Normally,wejustbroughtinlunch,but,ofcourse,myassistanthaddecoratedthewholeplaceandhadturnedthisintoquitethecelebration.
Personally,IfuckinghatedChristmas.Itremindedmeofsadnessanddarknessanddeath.IhighlydoubtHallmarkwouldbeputtingthatsentimentontheircards,butitwashowIfelt.Somehow,though,whenIcamedownthestairsandsawGeorgiainagreenfitteddresswithred-and-white-stripedtightsandagreenhatonherhead,myhatredfortheholidaysdissipatedabit.
“Whatthehellisthis?”IaskedwhenIstoppedinfrontofher,andmyeyesscannedhergorgeousbody.She’dbeenwearingadifferentoutfitearlier.
“I’mthehost,soIjustchangedintomyelfcostume.”
Ifshewasanelf,IwasgoingtoembracefuckingChristmasbytheballs,becauseshelookedlikethesexiestbundleofholidayjoyI’deverseen.
“Sincewhendoelveslookthisgood?”Iasked,leaningclosetoherearbeforeIcouldstopmyself.I’dbeenreallytryingtokeepmydistancesincetheworld’shottestkiss,butjustonelookatherinthistightlittlegreennumber,andIcouldn’tseestraight.
“Areyouactuallyinagoodmood?”shepurred.“Howaboutyoutrytotakemeoutoftheping-pongchampionship?There’snooneelselefttochallengeme.”
“Yousureyouwanttoriskit?You’reontoprightnow.”
“I’dbeokaywithyoubeingontop,”shesaidasshewaggledherbrows.Howthefuckdidthisjustturnintoasexualconversation?
Thepullwasjustsodamnstrongwithher.Iwasexhaustedfromfightingitmostdays.
“Areyougoingtochallengeher,boss?”Freddyaskedasheheldaglassofwineinhishandandwalkedover.
“Sure.I’mupforthechallenge.”
Georgiadidsomesortoflittlejumpandhopandtwirl,andeveryonelaughedasshemadeherwaytohersideofthetable.Irubbedmyhandstogetherbeforepickingupthepaddleandtappingitagainstthetable.
“Don’tholdbackonme,Bossman,”shesaid,aseveryonestoodaroundthetableeatingthefoodfromReynolds’thatshe’dorderedandsippingtheircocktails.Holidaymusicplayedthroughthespeakers,andIglancedoverather
“Nomercy,Tink.”Yes,Icalledherbyhernicknameinfrontofthestaff.ItwasobviousthatmyrelationshipwithGeorgiawasabitdifferent,butshewasmypersonalassistant,soweworkedcloselytogether.Theydidn’tseemfazedbyit,nordidIgiveafuckiftheywere.
Herheadfellbackinlaughterjustasshebouncedtheballonthetableandhititoverthenet.Backandforthwewent.
She’dsurprisedmewithhowskilledshewas.ButI’dgrownupplayingeverysportunderthesun,andIwasprettydamnskilledatanythingwithaballandaracket.Everyonewatchingkeptgaspingaswejustwentbackandforthforwhatfeltlikefartoolongforagoddamnping-pongmatch.So,Iturneduptheheatandscoredafewpoints,andshedidthesame.Itwasatiegame,andeveryonewasfartooinvested,butIimaginedithadalotmoretodowiththefactthattheywerealmostonvacation,sotheywereinagoodmoodandlookingtohavealittlefun.
Gamepoint.
I’dfiguredhergameoutfairlyquickly.Shewasweakontheleftsideofthetable.EverytimeIwantedtoscoreapoint,Ijusthitittothatsideofthetable,andshemissedit.
Hersmilewaswide,andhereyesdancedwithmischief.“Gamepoint,Bossman.Oneofusisawinner,andoneofusisaloserafterthisone.Areyouready?”
Takeherout.Hitittotheleftsideofthetable,dickhead.
ButwhenIlookeduponelasttimeandthosesapphireeyeslockedwithmine,Ididn’tcareaboutwinning.Ijustwantedtoseehersmile.
Itwasjustagoddamnping-ponggame.I’dhadenoughwinsinmylife.
So,Isentittotherightside,andshequicklyresponded.ImadesomewhatofanefforttolooklikeIwastryingtogettoitjustastheballbounced,andImissedit.
Theroomeruptedincheers,andIglancedoveratherwatchingmeasshesetherpaddledown.
Iwalkedaroundthetableandextendedmyarm.“Goodgame,Tink.You’rethechamp.”
Shenoddedashersmallhandslidintomine,andshewhispered,“Didyoujustgivemethatwin?”
“DoIstrikeyouasamanwhowouldintentionallyloseatanything?”
Shestudiedmeforamomentbeforesomeonepulledherawaytocutthecake.Istoodinthebackoftheroomandtookitallin.ItlookedlikeMr.andMrs.Claustookabigshitinmyofficespacewithalltheredandgreenandwhitegarland,buteveryonewashavingagoodtime,andthatwasallthatmattered.
“She’sbeengoodforthisplace,”HelenaRosewoodsaidasshesaddledupbesideme.
“Yeah.Ithinkyou’reright.”
“Shemightevenbegoodforyou.It’snicetoseeasmileonyourfacenowandthen,Maddox,”shesaid.Thewomanhadknownmebothbeforeandaftermymother’sdeath.Iwasfairlycertainthatsheknewtherewasaheavinessthathadstayedwithmealltheseyearsafterherpassing.
“It’sascowl,notasmile,”Isaid,andshechuckledbeforehuggingmegoodbye.
“MerryChristmas.I’llseeyouaftertheholidays.”Sheturnedonherheelsandwalkedoutthedoor.
Theplacewasthinningout,andeveryonewassayingtheirgoodbyes.GeorgiawasgatheringtrashwithVirginia,whowaswearingsomesortofredandgreenheadbandthathadspringsonitwithlittleballsontopandlookedabsolutelyridiculous,butitalsomademelikehermorethatshe’dwearitbecauseIknewwho’dconvincedhertodoso.
Imademywaybackupstairstofinishupsomeemailsbeforecallingitaday.Ithadgrowncompletelyquietdownstairs,soIfiguredeveryonehadleft,butIknewTinkwouldneverleavewithoutsayinggoodbye.IhadagiftforherthatIwasn’tgoingtogiveherinfrontofeveryone.
Theofficelinerang,andIheardhervoicerightoutsidemyoffice.Shedidn’tsoundenthusiastic,soIwonderedifitwassomeonecallingtosellussomething.Sheputthecalleronholdandappearedinmydoorway.
“Hey.It’syourfather.Hesaidhe’dcalledyourcellphoneseveraltimesandhasn’tbeenabletoreachyou.Hesaidit’surgent.”
FearcoursedthroughmyveinsasIthoughtofmygrandparents,butI’dspokentomygrandmotherthismorning,andshe’dseemedfine.However,myfatherhadnevertriedthishardtoreachme.
Inodded.“Igotit.Youcanclosethedoorandheadhome.MerryChristmas,Tink.”
Hermouthopenedlikeshewasgoingtosaysomething,butinstead,shenoddedandpulledthedoorclosed.
“What’ssourgent?”Iasked,myvoicelackinganysignofemotionwhenIpickedupthephone.
“MerryChristmastoyou,too.I’vebeentryingtoreachyouandWyleforafewdays.Youcan’treturnaphonecall?”
“I’vebeenbusy.”Ineverreturnedhiscallsthistimeofyear.ItwasareminderofhowmuchIdespisedhim,andIdidn’twanttohearabouthisfancytripstoEuropeoranyofhisbullshit.
“Well,sohaveI,Maddox.I’vegotnews.”
“Letmeguess.Peoplehavediscoveredwhoyoureallyare,andyouneedmetolieforyou?”
Hechuckled.“You’rehilarious.Nope.Igotmarried,son.Andshe’shavingababy.You’regoingtohaveanewlittlebrotherorsister.Ifthatisn’tthebestnewstomakethisholidayevenmorespecial,Idon’tknowwhatis.”
“Areyoufuckingkiddingme?Youditchedyourfirstwifewhenshewasdying.Doyoureallythinkmarriageisagoodideaforyou?”Myfatherhadn’tchangedsincemymother’spassing.Ithadn’tbeenawake-upcallorarock-bottommoment—he’djustcontinuedon,goingthroughwomenatarapidrate,makingpromisesheneverkept,andusinghismoneytomakeuglysituationsgoaway
“Yourepeatthatagain,andI’llhaveyourgrandfatherstripyouofeverytitlehe’sgiventoyou,youpretentiousprick.Youhavethelifethatyouhavebecauseyouaremyson.Youdon’tknowwhatit’sliketowatchthewomanyoulovedierightinfrontofyoureyes.Doyouhearme?”
“You’reshouting,soofcourse,Ihearyou,”Igrowled.“AndIdoknowwhatit’sliketowatchsomeoneIlovedierightinfrontofmyeyes,becauseIwasfuckingthere.Wylewasfuckingthere.YouwereoffdoingGodknowswhatwithGodknowswho.”
“Wearenotdoingthisrightnow.WewillbethereforChristmasdinner,andtherewillbeaphotographertheretotakefamilyphotos.Wewanttomakeitofficialbeforenewsofthebabybreaks.We’llhaveareceptiononNewYear’sEve.It’sasmalleventthatwe’llhostatthehotel.Therewillbearedcarpetandphotographers,soyoubestmakesureyouandWyleareboththere.Andyou’llputonafriendlyfacetomorrownight.Areweclear?”
“Doyouhaveanyfuckingremorsefortheshityou’vedone?”
“Maddox,you’remyson.Iloveyou.Iunderstandthatyou’reangry.Andyes,Ihavemadealotofmistakesinmylife.ButyourmotherisnotdeadbecauseI’manasshole.She’sdeadbecauseshegotanawfuldisease,andittookherfromus.WhenyouandWylecanfinallyadmitthatandstopblamingme,maybewecanallmoveforward.I’llseeyoutomorrow.Iexpectyoutobethere,asdoyourgrandparents.It’llbelikeoldtimes.We’llhaveafamilydinner,andyou’llbepolitetomywifeandposeforpicturesandallthatshitthatwe’vealldoneamilliontimes.So,stoppoutingandgetonboard.”
Italwaysshockedmehowmuchmygrandparentstoleratedfrommyfather.Buthewasanonlychild,andeventhoughtheydidn’tagreewiththewayhelivedhislife,theylovedhimunconditionally.
Thewayaparentshould.
Thewaymymotherlovedmybrotherandme.
IendedthecallandsentatexttoWylebeforeseeingthegrouptextfromourgrandfather,lettingusbothknowthatwewereexpectedtobetheretomorrownightandonNewYear’sEve.
Themessagewasclear.
Ourfamilywouldbesupportingmyfatherandhiswife.
AndWyleandIwerenoexception.
Iwalkedovertomyminibarandreachedforthebottleofwhiskey,pouringadoubleandtippingmyheadbackasthecoolliquidrandownmythroat.
AndthenIfilleditagain.
Andagain.fifteenGeorgia
Iheardaglassshatteragainstthewall,andIpacedoutsidehisofficedoor.I’dheardshoutingearlier,andthenI’dseenthelightonthephonegooff,soIknewhewasnolongeronthecallwithhisfather.Andithadbeenanhour.Hisdoorhadn’topened.He’dtoldmetoleave,butIcouldn’tleavehimknowingthathewasupset.
Plus,IhadagiftforhimoutinmycarthatIhopedtogivehimbeforeChristmas.Iknockedonthedoor,andhedidn’tanswer,soIpusheditopen.
Maddoxsatbehindhisdesk,hishairadisheveledmess,coatflungonthefloor,andhisshirtwasunbuttonedabit,thesleevesrolledup,exposinghismuscledforearms.Abottleofwhiskeysatonhisdeskandbrokenglasspooledonthefloorafewfeetaway.
“IthoughtItoldyoutogohome,”hesaid,hiswordsslurred.
“Ididn’twanttoleaveyouifyouwereupset.”
Hestudiedmeforthelongesttime,andIsuddenlyfeltveryself-consciousinmyelfcostume.
“Whyareyousofuckinggood,Tink?”
Imovedtowardhimjustashetippedhisheadbackanddownedmorebooze.
“Tellmewhathappened.”
“Why?You’vegotthisperfectfuckingfamily,andgoddamn,youdeserveit.Idon’thavethat.AndIdon’tneedtobringyouintomyshit.Doyougetthat?”
Hewasangry,andhepouredanotherdrinkbeforeItriedtotakethebottlefromhim,buthesetitbackdowninfrontofhimself.
“We’refriends.Thisiswhatfriendsdo.”Ireachedforhisglass,buthejerkeditawayanddownedtheliquidbeforeIcouldstophim.
Hewipedhismouthwiththebackofhishand.“Yeah?Youthinkso?”
“Ido.”Imovedcloser.
“Well,I’mafriendwhowantstofuckyou,GeorgiaReynolds.Howaboutthat?”Heraisedabrow,pushingtostandbeforefallingbackintohischairandlaughing.“Yeah.That’swhatagoodfriendIam.Ithinkaboutbendingyouovermydeskeveryfuckingday.Aboutkissingyouandtastingyouand—”Heshookhishead,andthenhisgazelockedwithmine.“I’manasshole,Tink.Youbestrunforthehills.”
Holywowsers.
Ibentdowninfrontofhim.“Stopit.I’mtakingyouhome.”
Hepouredanotherdrinkandtippedhisheadbackagain.I’donlyeverseenhimhaveaglassofwineortwo.I’dneverseenhimoutofcontrolorsloppy
“He’sfuckingmarried.Mydad,”hewhisperedashishandsfoundeachsideofmyface,andhelookedatme.Hiseyeswerewetwithemotion,andalltheairleftmylungsatthesadnessIsawinthatbeautiful,darkgaze.“He’shavinganotherfuckingchild,Tink.Andshe’sgone.It’slikeshewasneverhere.”
“So,talkabouther.Celebrateher.Don’thideyourmemoriesofherfromtheworld.Fromyourself.”
Heshookhisheadandtookanotherdrink.“I’msofuckingtired.Gohome,GeorgiaReynolds.”
“I’mnotleavingyouhere.”
Hegroaned,andhisheadfellbackagainsthisleatherchair,andhiseyesclosed.Itriedtoleanforwardandgethimtohisfeet,buthewasdeadweight.HegrumbledsomethingIcouldn’tmakeout,andIpushedtostand,pacingaround,tryingtofigureoutwhattodo.Icouldn’tmovehim;hewastooheavy.IhurriedtotheloungeandmadehimacupofcoffeewhilechewingonmythumbnailasItriedtodecidewhattodo.
Iwasnotleavinghim.
Thatwasn’tanoption.
IpickedupmyphoneandsentatexttoHugh,notinthefamilygroupchat,becauseIdidn’tneedeveryoneknowingwhatwasgoingon.
Mybossisupsetaboutsomething,andhedranktoomuch.Ican’tpickhimuptodrivehimhomebecausehe’stooheavy,andIcan’tleavehimhere
Hugh
I’monmyway.Getsomecoffeeinhimifyoucan.Bethereinfive.
IsmiledasIstareddownatmyphone.Therewasn’tonesiblingthatwouldn’thaverespondedthesameway.Iwasluckytohaveafamilywhowasalwaysthereforme.
Maddoxdidn’thavethat.
Hehadjetsandhelicoptersandfancyhouseswithclosetsthatwerebiggerthanmybedroom.
Butfamilyandlovewerenotsomethingthatyoucouldbuy.
Imademywaybacktotheoffice,andhelookedprettypeacefulwithhiseyesclosedasheleanedbackinhischair,andhisbreathsweretheonlyaudiblesoundintheroom.
Hisdressshirtwasunbuttoned,andalittlebitofdarkchesthairwasshowing.Igentlytouchedhisforearm,andhiseyessprungopen.Theveinswerebulgingagainsthisgoldenskin.
“Tink,”hewhispered.
“Hey,canyoutrytodrinkafewsipsofthiscoffeeforme?”
“Whyareyouhere?”HislipspartedwhenIputthemugtohislips,andhetookasip.
“I’mnotleavingyou,sostopwastingyourenergy.”
Henodded,andwesatinsilenceasIgotafewmoresipsintohim.
“You’retoofuckinggood,”hegrumbled,justasaloudruckushadmeturning,andallthreeofmybrotherswalkedthroughthedoorway.
Somuchforkeepingthisquiet.
“Youbroughteveryone?”Ihissed,settingthemugonhisdesk.
“Weweretogether.LilaandBrinksarewaitingforyouatmyhouseforyourgirls’nightthing,andwewereheadingtoReynolds’forsomefoodandbeers.”HughwasalreadypushingmeasideandlookingatMaddox.“Youokay,brother?”
“Andwhydidyoucallhimandnotme?”CageaskedashecamearoundtheothersideofMaddox’sdeskwithFinnonhisheels.
“BecauseIfiguredyou’dgivemealectureaboutstayinghereafterhours.”Ishrugged.
“Well,youshouldn’tbeherewhenthere’snoonetowalkyoutoyourcar,andit’sdarkoutside,”Cagegrumped.
“Iwouldhavewalkedhertohercar,”Maddoxsaidwithslurredwords.
Finnbarkedoutalaugh.“Idon’tthinkthatwasgoingtohappentonight.AndwhywasInotyourfirstcall?”
“Becauseyouweren’tsupposedtogetintotownuntillatetonight,”Isaid,shakingmyhead.ThefactthattheywereallupsetthatIhadn’tcalledthemfirstwascomical.
“Hey.Whogivesashitwhoshecalled?We’rehere.”HughtriedtopullMaddoxtohisfeet,buthefellbackintothechair.
“Justleavemehere.I’llsleepitoff.”
“We’renotleavingyouhere!”Ishouted,becauseIwastiredofhimsayingthat.
MybrothersallturnedandgapedatmebeforeHughbentdownandgotclosetomyboss’sface.“I’mgoingtopickyouup.Donotfightmebecausewe’llbothfallifyoudo.”
“I’mtootiredtofightyou,”Maddoxgrunted.Hughpulledhimoverhisshoulder,andseeingastheywerebothaboutthesamesize,itlookedkindofhilarious.HughpushedtostandwithMaddoxdrapedoverhisshoulder.“Yoursisterissofuckingpretty,isn’tshe?”
“Oh.Yes.Okay.”Cageraisedabrowatme.
“Allright.Let’sdothis.”Finnlaughed.
Wehurriedouttothecar,andIaskedmybrothertoputMaddoxinmycar,butherefusedtodothat.Hesethiminthefrontseatofhistruck,andCageandFinnhoppedinmycar,withCageinthedriver’sseat,ofcourse,insistingthatIridewiththem,andHughfollowedusaswealldrovetoMaddox’shouse.
“So,what’sthestorythere?”Cageasked.
“Nostory.He’smyboss,andIjustdidn’tfeelrightleavinghimalonewhenhe’dhadsomuchtodrink.”
“Youdidtherightthing,Georgie.Heseemslikeaprettycooldude.Youlikeworkingforhim,right?”Finnasked.
“Yeah.It’sagreatjob.I’mgettingtodoalotmorethanIthoughtIwould.Maddoxhasmereadingsubmissionsnow,andI’vegottentomeetafewauthors,whichhasbeenamazing,andhe’sjustsosmart,youknow?He’sreallygoodathisjob,”Isaid,andlookeduptoseeCagewatchingmeintherearviewmirror.
“Youlikehim.”Heraisedabrowbeforeturningthecornerandpausinginfrontofthelargeirongates.IgavehimthecodeandhetypeditinbeforedrivingupthelongdrivewayleadingtoMaddox’shouse.“Hassomethinghappenedbetweenyoutwo?”
“Ofcoursenot,”Isaidwithagasp.Isharedalotofthingswithmysiblings,butsomethingswereoff-limits.AndmykisswithMaddoxwasjustforme.
“Well,it’sinterestingthathegushedabouthowprettyyouare.”Cageputthecarinpark.
“He’sdrunk.Hetoldmethatthecoffeemugwasprettybeforeyouwalkedin.”Irolledmyeyesbecausehehadn’tsaidthat,butIdidn’tneedCagegettinginmybusiness.
“Hedoesseemtolikeyoualot,Georgie.”Finnglancedoverfromthefrontpassengerseatandwaggledhisbrowsatme.
“You’reridiculous.”Ipushedoutofthecar.
Theybothknewtherewassomethinggoingon.Butwasthere?Nothinghadhappenedasidefromonekiss.
Oneglorious,sexykiss.
Ihurriedacrossthedrivewayandtypedinthecodetothegaragekeypad,andweallmadeourwayinside.MaddoxwaswalkingnowwithonearmaroundHugh
Iwenttothekitchenandputonapotofcoffee,andweallsatthereforthenexthouraswewatchedthisbeautiful,big,broodymansoberup.Hewasquiet,andIknewhewasmortifiedthatI’dcalledmybrothers.ButhesippedhiscoffeeandlistenedasHugh,Cage,andFinnallmadesmalltalk.
Maddoxsatforwardandranahanddownhisface.“Thanksforgettingmehome.I’msorryaboutthat.Igotsomenewsfrommyfather,andIlostmyshitforaminute.I’msorryforinvolvingyoursister.Ihonestlythoughtshe’dgonehome.”
“Youdon’tneedtoapologize,man.We’veallbeenthere.You’reafriendofGeorgie’s,whichmakesyouafriendofours.”Hughclappedhimontheshoulder.
“Shedidn’tknowwewereallcoming,sodon’tbetoohardonher,”Cagesaid,asheturnedandwinkedatme.Hecouldbesweetwhenhewantedtobe.
“I’mnotgoingtobehardonher.Ishouldn’thaveputherinthissituation.That’sonme.Youguyscanheadout.I’vetakenenoughofyourtime.I’mfinenow.”
“Yougotplansfortheholidays?”Hughasked.
“Yep.I’mheadingtothecitytomorrow.”
“Well,ifanythingchanges,there’salwaysroomformoreattheReynolds’housewhenitcomestofood.Ourmothermakesenoughforasmallarmy,andeveryoneiswelcome.”CageextendedahandtoMaddox.
“Thankyou.IthinkmygrandmotherwouldlosehershitifIdidn’tshowup,butIappreciatetheinvite.”
“Here.Unlockyourphoneforme,”FinnsaidashepushedtohisfeetandhandedMaddoxhisphone.Maddoxhandeditbacktomybrother,whoquicklytypedintothedevice.“Ijustputmynumberintoyourphoneincaseyouneedanything.”
“YouhaveaniceChristmas,allright?”hesaidashewobbledabitwhenhepushedtohisfeet.“Thanksagainforcleaningupmymess.”
Hughdidthathalf-dudehug,andFinndidthesamebeforetheyallthreemadetheirwaytothefrontdoor.
Istoodinfrontofhim.“Haveasafetriphome,okay?”
“Yeah.Sorryforruiningyournight.”Heleanedforwardandkissedmycheek.“MerryChristmas,Tink.”
“Youdidn’truinmynight,”Isaid,reachingforhishandaswestoodtherestaringatoneanother.“Youcancallmeifyouwanttotalk.”
Heclearedhisthroat,andhisgazemovedbeyondme,wheremybrothershadalljustwalkedoutthefrontdoor.“You’vedoneenoughforme.I’llseeyouinaweek.”
Mychestachedwhenhepulledhishandaway.Ihadn’tgonemorethanadaywithoutseeinghimsinceI’dstartedthisjob.He’dalwaysfoundthingsthatweneededtodoatleastonedayontheweekend,andwespokeseveraltimesaday.Butthewayhewastalkingsoundedlikehewouldn’tbeintouchforawhile.Istillhadn’tgivenhimhisgift.Itwasinmytrunk,butmybrotherswerewaitingoutside,andIcouldtellMaddoxwasreadyformetoleave,soI’dgiveittohimwhenhegotback.
“Okay,safetravels.”IheldupahandawkwardlybecauseIwantedtowrapmyarmsaroundhimandmakehimtalktome.
Iwantedhimtobegmetostay.
ButIknewbetter.Maddoxwasn’tgoingtodothat.
Imademywayoutside,fightingthelumpthathadsettledinthebackofmythroat.
Becausesomewherealongtheway,MaddoxLancaster’spainhadbecomemypain.
IknewthathewashurtingbecauseIfeltit.
Ifeltallofit.sixteenMaddox
Iwokeupwithapoundingheadacheandmademywaytothekitchenforalargeglassofwater,twoTylenol,andahotcupofstrongcoffee.Whatafuckingshitshowyesterdayhadturnedinto.IwasembarrassedthatI’dbeensloppyinfrontofGeorgiaandherbrothers.
Iwasn’tthatguy.
Iwasnevernotincontrol.
Iknewbetter,andI’dslipped.
I’dletmyfather’sshitaffectme,whichwassomethingIwasworkinghardnottoallowtohappenanymore.
Ipushedtomyfeetandheadedformycloset.I’dslepthalfthedayaway,andIneededtopackabagasI’dbestayingtwonightswithmygrandparents.Georgiahaddoneallmyshoppingforme,refusingtogeteveryoneinmyfamilythesamething.She’dclaimedthatjustbecauseitwasanexpensivegift,itdidnotmakeitagoodone.Shethoughtthateveryoneshouldreceiveagiftthatwaspersonaltothem.So,she’daskedeighteenmillionfuckingquestionsabouteveryoneinmyfamily,andshe’dshoppedandwrappedallthegiftsforme.TheywereinalargeshoppingbagbymyfrontdoorsothatIwouldn’tforgetthem.
She’dtakencareofallthecorporategiftsaswellastheemployeegifts.Thegirldidn’tmissabeat.Ihadn’thadtobuyonegiftthisyear,asidefromtheonethatI’dgottenforher.ItwastheleastIcoulddoaftershe’ddoneallmyshoppingformeandorganizedtheofficeparty.So,I’dtakenheradviceandgottenhersomethingpersonalthatIthoughtshewouldlike.
Ihadn’tgivenittoherbecauseI’dgottenridiculouslydrunkandleftitsittinginmydeskdrawer.
Ididn’twanttogiveittoherlate.Iwantedtogiveittohernow.She’dbeenthereformelastnightwhenI’dactedlikeadrunkasshole.
Itossedmythingsinmybagandtookaquickshower.Thehotwaterbeatdownonmyback,andIpressedmyheadagainstthewallasthoughtsofGeorgialeaningdowninfrontofme,onehandoneachsideofmyface,floodedme.
Thoseeyes.
Thoselips.
Igrippedmydickasmemoriesofourkissinvadedmyeverythought.
Whatitwouldfeelliketotouchher
AndIletmyselfgothere.
Findmyrelease.
Iwasn’tproudthatIwasbasicallygettingoffdailytothoughtsofmyassistant.Ihadn’tbeenwithawomansincethedayshe’dstartedworkingforme.
Thishadneverhappenedtomebefore,andIwasstilltryingtowrapmyheadaroundit.
She’dputsomesortoffuckingcurseonmebecauseIthoughtofnoonebuther.
Icleanedmyselfup,turnedoffthewater,andgotdressedquickly.
Isentaquicktexttomypilot,Benjamin,tolethimknowwe’dbeleavingabitlaterthanI’doriginallyplanned.
Ineededtostopbytheoffice,grabhergift,andfigureoutwherethefuckherfamilylivedbecauseshe’dtoldmethatshe’dbestayingatherparents’housethenextfewdayswitheveryonehomefortheholidays.Icouldn’tgotoherfamily’shomewithoutagift,soI’dneedtostopandgrabsomethingforthem,aswell.
Iwasn’tacompleteasshole.
Inevershowedupsomewhereempty-handed,especiallyonChristmasEve.
ButtherewerealotoffuckingReynolds,andIwasn’tabigshopper,soI’dhavetofiguresomethingout.
***
Afterfourstopsinthecheeriestfuckingtownontheplanet,I’dstoppedforabitetoeatatCottonwoodCafé.Tinkhadwarnedmeaboutthisplace,andshewasnotkidding.Thewomanwhoownedtherestaurantwasodd,tosaytheleast.She’dslowlyperusedmybodyandpausedwhenhereyesmovedbelowmywaist,makingmeincrediblyuncomfortable.
“Excuseme.Ijustwantedtograbasandwichtogo.I’minahurry.”
“Areyoualwaysinahurry,Mr.Lancaster?”theolderwomanwithtoo-plumplipsandashittonofcleavagehangingoutofherdress,andnotthegoodkindofcleavage,purred.“Areyouinahurrywhenyou’rewithawoman?”
First,I’dbattledcrowdsatthebakeryandthenagainatthegourmetgrocerystorethatwaswillingtoputtogetheranicegiftbasketofwine,crackers,andchocolateforGeorgia’sparents.I’dgottenherbrotherseachabottleofgoodwhiskey,becauseshe’dmentionedthattheylikedthat,andI’dgottenhersisterandherbrother’sfiancéeanicebottleofwine,andIstillhadtofigureoutwhattogetthatlittlenieceofhersbecauseIknewnothingaboutkids.Andnow,Iwasdealingwithahornyoldbirdwholookedlikeshewantedtoclimbmelikeatree.
Ialsohadaraginghangoverandfeltlikeshit.
“Idon’tknowwhat’shappeninghere,butIwouldlikeasandwichtogo.”Igaveherapointedlook,hopingshe’dgetthemessage.
“GeorgiaReynoldsworksforyou,doesn’tshe?”
Maybethiswomancouldhelpmeafterall.“Yes.Shedoes.Ineedtodropsomethingofftoher,butit’ssortofasurprise.WouldyouhappentoknowwheretheReynoldslive?Iamfairlycertainshe’satherparents’housetoday.”
Aloud,boisterouslaughescapedbeforeshepulledherselftogether.“EveryoneknowswheretheReynoldseslive.”
“Well,noteveryone,becauseIdon’t.Wouldyoumindjottingdownthataddresswhenyougrabmemyturkeyonrye?”Ihandedhermycardbecausethewomanhadyettotakemyorder,andIwasdonewaiting.
“Ofcourse.Letmegetthatforyou,handsome.”Shechuckledanddidsomesortofawkward-as-fuckshimmy,andIlookedaway.
Awomaninhermid-thirtiesstoodafewfeetfrommeholdingthehandofalittlegirlwholookedtobeaboutthesameageasGeorgia’sniece,soIwalkedover.
“Excuseme,”Isaid,andthewomanturnedandsmiledatme.
“Hi.Doweknowoneanother?”
“No,no.I,uh,thisisabitawkward.Ineedtogetagiftforalittlegirlwholooksaboutyourdaughter’sage,andI’venevershoppedforakidbefore.CanyoutellmewhereIshouldgo?”
Shechuckled.“Ahhh…noworriesatall.TheTipsyTeaisthecutestlittleboutiqueintownforkids.Theyhaveallsortsofgifts,andit’sapartyplace,too.They’llhelpyououtthereforsure.”
“Thankyou.Iappreciateit.”InoddedandsentmypilotaquicktextthatI’dbereadyinanhour.
“Hereyougo,darlin’.TheReynolds’addressisinsidethebag,alongwithmyphonenumber,justincaseyouneedanything.Anytime.Dayornight.NowyoucomebackandseeMrs.Runitherrealsoon,okay?”thecrazy-asshorndogsaid.Peoplewhoreferredtothemselvesinthethirdpersonfreakedmethefuckout.
“Thankyou,Ithink,”Igrumbledbeforetuckingmysandwichundermyarmandhurryingtothedrunkenteaplacethewomantoldmeabout.
TheTipsyTea.
Ipulledthedooropen,andtherewasasetofidenticaltwingirlsinthecornerhavingabsolutemeltdownswhiletheystompedandshoutedattheirmother.
Ishivered.
Iknewnothingaboutkids,justthatInormallystayedawayfromthem.
ButGeorgia’snieceseemedliketherealdeal.
“Hello,canIhelpyou?”awomansaid,withabigsmileonherface.
“Yes.Ineedagiftforalittlegirlaboutthistall,”Isaid,holdingmyhanduptojustbelowmywaist.“She’sagoodonefromwhatIcantell,andIneedtobringsomethingforherwithitbeingChristmasEve.”
“Okay,I’mMatilda,andIownthisshop.Doyouknowthelittlegirl’sname?”sheasked.Onlyinasmalltownwouldtheyaskthenameofthepersonyou’regiftingtoorgiveyoutheaddressofthehomeyou’relookingfor.Thereweredefinitelyperkstosmall-townliving.
“HernameisGracieReynolds.Doyouknowher?”
Sheclappedherhandstogetheronce.“Ahhh…she’sthesweetestlittlegirlintown.Howmuchwouldyouliketospend?”
“Howevermuchitcoststogethersomethinggood.”Ishrugged.Ididn’thaveafuckingcluehowmuchakid’sgiftwouldcost.
Shechuckled.“Well,it’shardtoknowwhatherfatherhasgottenherforChristmas,butIknowsomethingthatwouldprobablyberealfunforher.”
“Whatisit?”Anddiditgetmethehelloutofthisplacesoon?Becauseoneofthedeviltwinshadjustbithermother’sshin,andIwasgettingtwitchytogetthefuckoutofhere.
“Well,youcouldgetheranexperience.”Sheclappedherhandstogetheragainasifthiswerethebestideaanyonehadeverthoughtof.
“Anexperience?CanyouputthatinagiftbagsoIcantakeittoher?”
Shechuckled.“Ofcourse.Wecoulddoateapartyforuptoeightpeople.Imean,ifyou’rewillingtospendthemoney.Allthegirlsintownwanttocomeandhaveateapartyhere,andshe’sneverhadone.Thatway,shecouldbringhergrandmotherandherauntsandafewfriendsifshewants.”
“She’dlikethat?”Iasked,diggingoutmywalletfrommybackpocket.
“Oh,yes.Wedolittlesandwichesandcookiesandtea,andthegirlsdressup.It’sreallysomething.”
Ihandedhermycard.“Perfect.Andyoucanwrapthatup?”
“Yes.Thisissosweetofyou,”shesaidasshepulledoutsomesortofcertificate,chargedmethreehundredbucks,andtiedafancybowonthebagjustassomethinghitmehardintheback
IturnedaroundtoseeSatan’sspawnsmirkingandnoticedsomesortofblondedollatmyfeet.Thethinghadpeggedmeintheback,anditwasclearthatshe’dthrownit.Ilookeddownatthelittleredheadwithfrecklesandwildeyesbeforebendingdownandpickingupthedoll.“Didyoujustthrowthisatme?”
“Isuredid.Whatareyougoingtodoaboutit,mister?”
IturnedbackandlookedatMatildaassherangmeup.Hereyeswerewide,andherfacewasflushed.
“Whataremyoptionshere?I’mguessingIcan’tdomuch,amIright?”Iaskedthestoreowner.
Shelaughedalittleandglaredatthemother,whowasstandingseveralfeetawayandtalkingonherphone,whiletheothertwinwastearingthingsoffhangersanddroppingthemonthefloor.Butthelittleshe-devilwasstandingrightbesidemewithherarmscrossedoverherchestasshewaitedforananswer.
Likeshewasafuckingmobboss,andIwasherlittlebitch.
“Unfortunately,thisisjusthowtheyareeverytimetheycomeinhere,”Matildawhispered.
Fuckthat.Thiswomanwasrunningabusiness,andshewaskindenoughtosellmesomesortofexperience.Shedidn’tdeservethis.NordidIdeservetobeassaultedbyagoddamnchild.Isignedthecreditcardreceiptandplacedmycardinmywallet,whichIslippedintothebackpocketofmyjeans.
Ibentdown.“I’lltellyouwhatI’mgoingtodoaboutit,Red.I’mrealgoodfriendswithSanta,andI’llbesuretolethimknowthatyoujustpeggedaninnocentmaninthebackwitharubberBarbie.Howaboutthat?”
Matildalaughed.Thelittledemonranaway,screamingathermother,andInoddedasImademywayoutthedoor.
Ihadacarfullofgifts,andIquicklytookafewbitesofmysandwichasIpulledtheaddressfromthebag.Ofcourse,she’dwrittenherphonenumberonthenote,andtherewerebigorangelipsoverthenumber,likeshe’dkissedthepieceofpaper.
Ishivered,droppedtherestofthesandwichbackintothebag,anddrovedownthesnow-coveredstreetstotheReynolds’house.ItwaslituplikesomesortofChristmaswonderland.Therewerelightsoneveryinchoftheirhouse,justasthesunwasstartingtogodown.Atthisrate,Iwouldjustbarelymakeitontimefordinneratmygrandparents’.
Iparked,pulledoutallthebagsandthegiftbasket,andImademywayuptothedoor.Itwascoldashelloutside,andIstartledwhenmultipleblowupsshotupandsprungtolifeasairfilledthemwhenIpassedby.TherewasalargeSantaClaus,apackofreindeer,andatrain.Thesepeoplewentallout.Theywereobviouslyontimers,andI’darrivedattherightmomentforthebigshow.
Iknockedonthedoor,andHughopeneditwithasmirk.“Well,well,well…thisisasurprise.”
“Yeah.Tellmeaboutit.Ihadsomethingtodropofftoyoursister,butthenIdidn’twanttolooklikeanassholeandcomeempty-handedonChristmasEve,”Isaid.
Helaughedandreachedforthelargegiftbaskettohelpmeout.“Dude.You’vegotnothingtoworryabouthere.Comein.”
Musicflowedfromthenextroom,anditwasasongIrecognized.“IWillSurvive”,anotherGeorgiafavorite.
“Doyoualllistentothesameunusualmusic?”Iaskedashetookafewbagsfromme.
Awidegrinspreadacrosshisface.“Nope.You’rejustintimeforthebigmoment.Cagehaswonourfamilybackgammontournamenteveryyearforthelastdecade,andGeorgieisabouttobeathim.So,sheandBrinksplaythissongwhenevertheyaccomplishanythingbig,andapparently,she’salreadygotitblaringthroughthespeakers,readyforhercelebration.”
Whenwecamearoundthecorner,thewholefamilywasgatheredaroundalargefarmhouse-styletableinthekitchen.Itsmelledliketurkeyandapplesandcinnamon,andmystomachstartedgrumbling.I’dbarelyeatenmuchofmysandwichbecauseI’dlostmyappetitefrombeingpissedoffthatI’dbeenattackedbyachild.
Noonenoticedusstandingagainstthewall,andHughsmirked,likewehadthebestseatsinthehouseforwhatwasabouttogodown.Hesetthebasketonthefloor,andIplacedthebagsdownbesideit.
Tinkshookthediceandrolled,andbeforeIevenknewwhatwashappening,shejumpedtoherfeetandshouted.Hersisterwasonherfeet,jumpingupanddownwithher.Everyonewaslaughing,andGeorgiaandBrinkleyturnedtotheirolderbrother,whowassittingthereacrossthetable,rollinghiseyes.
Theystartedshoutingalongwiththemusic.
Singingoutsomethingabouthimgettingupandwalkingoutthedoor.
Theywerelaughinghysterically,andCagejoinedin.
Graciestarteddancingwithheraunts.“AuntGeorgiebeatDaddy.Hegotstogetoutthedoor,right?”
Morelaughter.
Jesus.ThiswaslikeagoddamnHallmarkmovieoverhere.
Justgenuinehappiness.Itwouldbeimpossibletomissit.
“Right,babygirl,”Cagesaid,pushingtohisfeetashissisterscontinuedtosingridiculouslyloud,andHugh’sfiancéejoinedin,dancingwiththem.“Andyourauntiesareterriblewinners.”
Graciegasped,putbothhandsoverhermouth,andeveryonelookedather.Shepointedrightatme.“Daddy!Santasentthebossmanheretoseeme!”
IbarkedoutalaughbecauseshewasprobablythecutestthingI’deverseen.
Someoneturnedthemusicoff,andthewholeroomfellsilent.
“Waytomakeaguyfeelwelcome.Whyareyouallsoquiet?”HughsaidoverhislaughterasLilawalkedintohisarms.
Theyallshruggedandthenrushedovertosayhello,andGraciemovedinfrontofmeandreachedherarmsout.Ijuststaredather,confusedaboutwhatshewasdoing.
“Hugs,Bossman.”Ilookedatherfather,whonoddedwithasmirk,andIpulledherintomyarms.
Shewrappedherhandsaroundmyneckandlaidherheadonmyshoulder,andInearlystoppedbreathing,unsureaboutwhattodo.Shesmelledlikepumpkinspiceandpineapple,whichseemedlikeanoddmix,butonlittleGracieReynolds,itjustsmelledlike…sweetness.
“Thankyou,”Iwhisperedashercurlstickledmynose.
Shepulledback.“Whoareallthosepresentsfor?”
“GracieReynolds,wedon’taskthat,”Cagesaid,takingherfrommyarms
Georgiawasjuststaringatme,hermouthgapingopen.
Thosedarkblueeyeslockedonmine.
Justliketheyalwayswere.seventeenGerogia
IwascomingoffanepicbackgammonwinandwascompletelystunnedtoseeMaddoxLancasterstandinginourkitchen.Howdidheevenknowwheremyparentslived?Hehadn’ttextedmetoday,soI’dassumedhe’dalreadyleftforthecity,butnowthesexiestmanontheplanetwasstandinginourkitchen,withgiftsformyfamily.
“Hey.Thisisanicesurprise.Whatareyoudoinghere?”Iasked,movingclosertohim.
“Ihadsomethingtodropofftoyou,andIjustwantedtowishyouallaMerryChristmas.”Hebentdownandpickedupthelargebasketandhandedittomyfather,justasmymotherwrappedherarmsaroundhim.
“Thatwassokindofyou,Maddox.Thankyou.”
“Yeah,noproblem.”Heclearedhisthroat,andIthoughtmychestwasgoingtoexplodeasIwatchedhimfumbleashehandedoutallthebags.He’dgottensomethingforeveryone.AndthenhebentdowntomeetGracie’seyesafterCagesetheronthefloor.“Andthisoneisforyou.”
Shelookedatthebag,andwhenshesawTheTipsyTealogo,herentirefacelitup.
“Bossman,”shewhispered,andtheentireroomeruptedinlaughter.Graciewascrazyforthatstore.ItwaswhereItookherwheneverwehadalittledateday,andwe’dgopickoutsomestickersoralittletreat.
“It’sherfavoritestore,”Isaid
Shepulledoutwhatlookedlikeagiftcertificate,whichmademelaugh,becauseIcouldn’tevenimagineMaddoxinsidethatcutelittlestore.Shestudieditforaminutebeforethrowingherlittlebodyintohisarmsandwrappingherchubbylittlehandsaroundhisneckagain.
“Whatisit?”Cageasked.
Graciepulledbackandlookedatitagain.“Idon’tknow,butit’sfrommyBossman.”
Mysister,Brinkley,glancedoveratmeandwaggledherbrows.Everyonewassmittenwiththetalldrinkofwaterwho’djustwalkedinunexpectedly,includingmyniece.
“Letmesee,babygirl,”Cagesaid,leaningdownandtakingitfromherhand.“Oh,wow.Ateapartyforeight.”
Graciestartedjumpingupanddownandcheering.
“Thatwasreallykindofyou,”CagesaidasheclappedMaddoxonthebackwhenhepushedtostandagain.
“Gladyoulikeit.MerryChristmas.IneedtoheadoutbeforemygrandmothercallsagaintomakesureI’monmyway.”Helookedoveratme,theonlyonenotholdingapackage,aseveryoneelsetoreintotheirbagsandthankedhim.
IntypicalReynoldsfashion,therewereendlesshugsandgushing,andittookeverythinginmenottolaughbecausehelookedsouncomfortableashewasn’tabighugger.ButIcouldtellhelikeditbecausethecornersofhislipsturnedupeachtimesomeoneapproachedhim.
Igrabbedmycarkeysfrommypurse.“I’llwalkyouout.”
WemadeourwaythroughthehouseandpausedintheentrywaysoIcouldgrabmycoatandputiton.
“Youdon’tneedtowalkmeoutside,”hesaid,reachingintohiscoatpocketforasmallbluebox.
Tiffanyblue.
“Ihaveagiftforyouinmycar,butwitheverythingthathappenedyesterday,Inevergottogiveittoyou.”
“Iwasanasshole,andI’msorry.Ihadsomethingforyou,aswell,andIdidn’twanttoleavetownwithoutgivingittoyou.”Heheldoutthebox,andmyheartracedsofastIwascertainitwouldexplodefrommychest.
Itookoffthewhitesatinbowandliftedthelid,staringdownwithabsolutesurpriseatthestunningdiamondstaronagoldchain.
Heclearedhisthroat.“I’mnotmuchofashopper,asyouknowfromdoingallmyholidayshoppingforme.Butyousaidgiftsshouldbesomethingtheotherpersonwouldlike.Isawthis,anditremindedmeofyou.ThanksforshowingmethatIcansitunderthestarsagain.”
Myvisionblurredasmyeyeswerewetwithemotion,andIpulledthenecklaceoutandstudiedit.“It’sstunning.”
“Yeah?Soareyou,Tink.I’msorryforthethingsthatIsaidtoyoulastnight.Theywereinappropriate.”
“Ididn’tmindit.”Iwaggledmybrows.“Ithinkaboutit,too,youknow?”
Hemovedcloser.“Whatdoyouthinkabout?”
“Us.”
Hescrubbedahandoverhisfaceasifhedidn’tknowhowtorespond.Ihandedhimthenecklaceandturnedaround,liftingmyhairforhimtohelpmeputiton.
Hisfingersgrazedthesensitiveskinbehindmyneck,andIwishedwecouldfreezethismomentrighthere.
“Thereyougo,”hesaid,hisvoicedeepandgravelly.
Iturnedaroundandwalkedtothemirrorhangingabovetheentrytablebythefrontdoorandadmiredit.
“Iloveit.Thankyou.Comeon,Iwanttogiveyouyourgift.”
Hemovedclosertome,tracinghisfingersoverthependantrestingbetweenmycollarbones,beforefindingmyzipperandpullingitupjustbelowmychin
Irolledmyeyes.“YouknowIcanzipmyowncoat,right?”
“MaybeIlikedoingthingsforyou.”
Iwasgoodwiththatresponse,soIpulledopenthefrontdoor,andhefollowedmeoutsidetomycar,whichwasafewfeetfromhis.Ipoppedthetrunkandpulledoutthelargeboxcoveredincutesnowmanwrappingpaperwithawhiteandredtullebow.Heundidthebowandtoreoffthepaper,whichItossedinmytrunkbeforeslammingitsowecouldleanagainstthecar.Helookeddownattheboxwithapictureofatelescopeontheoutside.
“Ilovethis.Thankyou.Mymomalwayshadoneonourdeck.”
“Nowwhenyousitunderthestars,you’llhaveabetterview,”Isaid,bitingdownonmybottomlip.
“WhatifIlikethisviewbest?”hesaid,hishandcuppingonesideofmyface,andIcouldn’tmove.
“Maybeyoushouldstopbeingafraidoftakingwhatyouwant.”
“Whatdoyouwant,Tink?”
“Iwantyoutokissme.Nostringsattached.JustakisssoIcanhavethattoholdmeoverforanotherweek.”
Hechuckledandmovedcloser.Mybuttrestedagainstmycar,andhismouthcoveredmine.Hishandstangledinmyhair,andhekissedmewithadesperationthatIfelt.BeforeIrealizedwhatwashappening,heliftedmeofftheground,andmylegscamearoundhiswaist.Myhandswrappedaroundhisneckbeforerunningmynailsthroughhishair,andhegroaned.Histonguetangledwithmine.Icouldkissthismanforever,anditstillwouldn’tbelongenough.
Hisphonestartledusbothwhenthealarmwentoff,andhepulledback.Hiseyessearchedmineasheturnedthealarmoffonhisphone.
“I’vegottogo.”Hisforeheadfellagainstmine.“I’vepostponedBenjamintwicealready,andheneedstogettothecitysohecancelebratewithhisfamily,aswell.”
Hisheadpulledawayfrommine,buthecontinuedholdingmethere.MyhandsfoundeachsideofhisfaceasIsmiledathim.“Thanksfortoday.Ican’tbelieveyoudidallthis.AndyouevenwenttoTheTipsyTea.”
“Neveragain.Thatplaceisdangerous.Igotattackedthere.”Heraisedabrow,butIcouldhearthehumorinhisvoice,evenifhewastryingtohideit.
“Whathappened?”
“Somefuckinglittledevilwithredhairandfreckleschuckedadollatmyback.Thatwasaftersheandherdoppelg?ngerdestroyedthestore,andoneofthembittheirmotherintheleg.Andthenthelittlehellionsquaredhershouldersinchallenge.LikeIwasjustsomepussythatshecouldintimidate.”
Myheadfellbackinhystericallaughter,butIgroanedwhenIfelthiserectionpokemeinthebottom.Thismanhadmesoturnedon,yetsoentertained,mybodydidn’tknowwhattodowiththat.
“ThosearetheWarrentwins.KressaandKatelyn.They’reprettyfamousintownforbeinghellions.Themomhaslong,blondehairandisalwaysonherphone?”
“Yep.Shedidn’tdoanythingtointervene,soIpulledouttheSantacardandtoldthekidIwasgoingtoreportbacktohimaboutherbehavior.Thelittleshitdidn’tlikethat,butI’msureshe’sstillovertheretorturingMatilda,whowasfartoonicetoputupwiththat.”
“IloveMatilda.IworkedatthatstoreonesummerwhenIwasinhighschool.She’sthebest.”Isighedwhenheslidmedownontomyfeet.“Lookatyou,MaddoxLancaster.You’repracticallyalocalnow.”
“Yeah?Well,IgotsexuallyharassedbytheoldladyatCottonwoodCafé.AndthenIwasassaultedatthefuckingdrunkteapartystore.So,thelocalshavenotbeenallthatwelcoming.”
Icoveredmymouthwithmyhandtomufflemylaughter.“Ipromise,it’saveryfriendlytown.”
“There’sonlyoneresidentIreallygiveashitabout.”Hishandfoundthesideofmyneck.“ButyouknowI’mnogoodatthis,Tink.Idon’tdate.Andobviously,youworkforme,sowe’vegotthatissue,too.”
“Howaboutwedon’tgetaheadofourselvesrightnow?Youwantedtokissme,andIwantedtokissyou.Ithinkwe’dbothlikeforittohappenagain,andit’snoone’sbusinessbutours.”Irestedmyhandsonhischest.
“Ilikethesoundofthat,”hesaidashenippedatmybottomlipandgrowled.“I’llcallyoulater.MerryChristmas.”
Hepickedupthetelescopeandwalkedbackwardtowardhiscar.
“MerryChristmas,Bossman.”
Heplacedthepackageinhistrunkbeforeclimbingintohiscar,turningiton,androllingthewindowdown.“I’mnotleavinguntilyou’reinside.Go.”
Ilaughed.“Sobossy.ThisisCottonwoodCove.Youdon’tneedtoworry.”
“Well,Igotattackedbyafive-year-oldtoday.I’mfairlycertainit’snotsafeanywhere.”
IlaughedasIwalkedupthewalkwayandwavedbeforepushinginside.Whenthedooropened,Iheardaloudcrash,followedbymuffledlaughter,andturnedtoseeHugh,Lila,Brinkley,Finn,andCageallrunningfromthebigwindowinthelivingroomasthelamponthesidetablelayonthefloorwiththeshadehalfoffofit.
“Seriously?You’respyingonme?”Ithrewmyhandsintheair.
“Thatwassomekiss.Somebodycallthefiredepartmentbecausethisbitchisabouttogoupinflames.”Brinkleyputanarmaroundmywaistandbellowedoutinlaughter.
“Iwastryingtostopthemandinsisttheygiveyousomeprivacy,butthenwhenhepulledyouup,Icouldn’tlookaway.”Lilawasonmyothersidenow,smilingatme.
“Ifeellikesomeonepouredacidinmyeyes.Youcan’tbemakingoutinthedrivewayonChristmasEve,Georgie,”Cagehissed.“It’sjust…wrong.”
“Wrong?Youspyingonmeiswrong,youbighypocrite.”
“Ifit’sanyconsolation…Finn,Cage,andIallcoveredoureyeswhenhekissedyou.Wedon’twanttoseethat.Wewerejustcuriousiftherewasmoregoingonthanyouweresayingbecauseitsureseemedliketherewas,”Hughsaidasherightedthelamponthesidetable.
“Andclearly,wewerecorrect.AndCageistraumatizedbecausehedidn’trealizewhatwashappeningandcoveredhisfacealittletoolate.”Finnbarkedoutalaugh.
“Servesyouright.It’snoneofyourbusiness.”Ituggedoffmycoatandhungitonthecoatrackbeforewalkingintothediningroomwitheveryonefollowing,justasmymotherandfatherstartedputtingplattersdownonthetable.
Therewerewhiteandgoldplates,andwhiteflowersrandownthelengthofthelargetablewithgreenbranchesinbetween.Mymotherlovedatheme,andsheenjoyeddecorating.Shewasatherapistbyday,butshecouldgiveMarthaStewartarunforhermoneywhenitcametoentertaining.
“IagreewithGeorgie,”mymothersaid,lookingupandsmilingatme.“Itoldyoutoleaveheralone.She’sagrownwomanwhocanhandleherselfjustfine.”Mychestsqueezed.Thereweretimesthatbeingtheyoungestoffivesiblingswasexhaustingbecauseeveryonetreatedmelikeababy.Andmyparentswereguiltyofitmorethananyone.Buthearingmymomsupportmemeanttheworldtome.IwasworkinghardtofindmywayasIhadlandedmyfirstrealjob,andIwaslookingformyownplacetolivenowthatIhadincomecomingin.
“AuntieGeorgieisabiggirl,”Graciesaidasshesatatthetablewatchingmyparentssetthefooddown.Shehadalittlepieceofpaperandsomecrayons,andshewasdrawingsomethingcolorful.
“Itdoesn’tmatterhowoldsheis.Wejustwantedtomakesureshewasokay,”Cagesaid,leaningdownandkissingmeonthecheek.
“Well,Ilikehim.Showuswhathegaveyou,seeingashedidn’tgiftyouinfrontofus,eventhoughweallgottoseethatkiss,whichwassmokinghot.”Brinkleysmirked.
Mybrotherslaughed,myfatherscowled,andmymotherrolledhereyes.Lilatriedtohidehersmile,andGracielookedateveryonewithconfusion.
“Hegavemethisbeautifulnecklace,”Isaid,twirlingthestarbetweenmyfingers.
Momwalkedoverwithhermouthhangingopenasshelookedatit.“Wow.That’sstunning.Itseemslikeyoutwohaveaveryspecial…friendship.”
“Uh,Idon’tkissmyfriendsorgivethemdiamondnecklacesforChristmas,”Cagesaid.
“Youdon’thaveanyfemalefriends.”Finnraisedabrow,andeveryonelaughed.
“IsBossmanyourboyfriend,AuntieGeorgie?”Gracieasked.
“No.Hedoesn’treallydate,sothat’snotgoingtohappen.Buthe’sagoodfriend.”
WhoI’dliketohaveendlesssexwith.
“Sure,heis.”Brinkleylaughedasshetookherseat.
Everyonemovedaroundthetable,andtheconversationandlaughterflowed.Butmyhandkeptmovingtomyneck,andIcouldn’tstopthinkingaboutthatkiss.
Abouthim.eighteenMaddox
Iarrivedjustintimefordinnerandjoggedupthewalkwaywithbagsinmyhands.Ididn’tevenknowwhatGeorgiahadendedupgettingeveryone.I’dgivenherideasformyfamilymembersandtoldhermyfathermightbebringingarandomwomanwithhim,althoughIhadn’tknownatthetimethatitwasgoingtobehisnewwife,whoI’dyettomeet.ButIcouldn’treallybeexpectedtobringagiftforawomanI’dfoundoutaboutyesterday.
Bentleyopenedthedoorandgreetedme,ashe’dbeenworkingformygrandparentssinceIwasborn.Theirhomewasmassive,withalargecrystalchandelierhangingoverthegrandfoyer.Whiteandblackmarblecoveredthefloorsthroughoutthespace.
“Maddox,it’ssonicetoseeyou,”theoldermansaidashereachedformybags.
“Thankyou.It’sgreattoseeyou,too.MerryChristmas.”Islippedoffmycoat,andhetradedmethebagsformyblacktrenchcoat.Ileanedcloseandwhispered,“Anydramayet?”
Hechuckled.“No.They’reintheparlorhavingcocktailsandappetizers,andthenewlywedsseemveryhappy.”
“Wyle’shere,right?”
“Yes.Andthefirstthingheaskedwhenhewalkedinafewminutesagowasifyouwerehereyet.Ithinkhe’sanxiouslywaitingforhis—”Hepausedashethoughtitover.
“Wingman?”Iteased.We’dalwayssaidthatwhenwewereyoung.
“Yes.That’sit.Wouldyoulikemetobringthepackagesinforyou?”heasked,asheslungmycoatoverhisarm.
“I’vegotit,butthankyou.I’llseeyouinalittlebit.”
Henodded,andImademywaydownthelonghallway.Theirhomewasveryformal,butitwastheoneplacethatfeltlikehometomebecauseI’dspentsomuchtimeherewhenIwasgrowingup.MyfatherhadsoldthehomeIgrewupinshortlyaftermymotherpassedaway,asnoneofuswantedtobethere.Thishadbecomehomebase.Wylehadlivedhereduringhislasttwoyearsofhighschool,andthiswaswhereIcamewhenIvisitedduringcollege.
WhenIwalkedintotheparlor,mygrandparentsweretalkingwithmybrother,andtherewasnosignofmyfatherorhis…newwife.
“Maddox!”mygrandmothershriekedwhenshesawmeandpushedtoherfeet.Shehadgrayhairthatwasalwaysinsomesortofstiffhairstyleendingatthenapeofherneck,andsheworehertrademarkblackskirtthatendedbelowherkneesandawhitesilkblouse.Idroppedthebagsbesidemeonthefloorjustbeforeshewrappedherarmsaroundmeandhuggedmetight.ShewastheclosestthingthatIhadtoamothernow,andIlovedherfiercely.Theonlythingweeverdisagreedaboutwasmyfather.
Heronlychild.
Shelovedhimdespiteallhe’ddone,andshedesperatelywantedWyleandmetorepairourrelationshipwithhim.
Iwoulddoalmostanythingforthiswoman.
I’dwalkthroughfire.Takeabullet.
ButbeingclosetomyfatherwasnotsomethingIwouldconsider.
Ididn’ttrusthim.Ididn’tlikehim.
Hell,Iheldhimpartiallyresponsibleformymother’sdeath.BecauseeventhoughALShadclaimedherbodyandsuckedthelifefromherdayafterday—herbrokenheartalsocontributedtothatbrutalexperience.
Therewasnocomingbackfromthat.
Afterhuggingher,mygrandfatherwasnext,followedbyWyle,whohuggedmesotightitwasborderingonpainfulandthenleanedclosetomyearandwhispered,“Buckleup.Youaren’tgoingtobelievethisshit.”
Herewego.
Mrs.Winters,who’dbeenworkingformygrandparentsforthelastdecade,camearoundwithaglassofchampagneandhandedittome.
“Thankyou,”Isaid,notingthateveryonehadaglasssittingonthetableinfrontofthecouchastheyallreturnedtotheirseatsandreachedfortheirdrinks.Isatonthebluevelvetchairbesidethecouchandtookasipofthebubblywhenmyfatherwalkedintotheroomfromtheotherentryonthefarsideoftheroom,withClaireStraussbesidehim.“Maddox,myboy.Ifiguredyou’dbedelightedtoseeyournewstepmotherisadearfriendofthefamily.”
Ispewedchampagnefrommylips,andmybrotherbarkedoutalaugh.ClairewasthedaughterofJohnStrauss,whowasmyfather’sclosestfriend.We’dpracticallygrownuptogether,andmymomhadalwayspushedformetodateher.ButClairehadalwaysfeltmorelikefamilythanapossiblegirlfriend,andI’dneverconsideredcrossingthatline
Obviously,myfather’smorallineinthesandwasnonexistent.
ButIdidnotseethiscoming.Shewasmyage,forstarters,andIhighlydoubtedJohnwouldbeokaywiththis.
IpushedtomyfeetasMrs.Wintershurriedovertohandmeafewnapkinsandhelpedmecleanup.“Excuseme.Youcaughtmeoffguard.”
Iclearedmythroatandreluctantlytookhishandwhenheextendedittome.Becausethatwasascloseasourrelationshipwent.Ahandshakewasastruggle.
“Hi,Maddox.Nicetoseeyou,”Clairesaidasshewalkedinforahug.Ipattedherontheback,tryingtofigureoutwhyinthehellshewouldbewithmyfather.“It’sbeenawhile.We’vegotalotofcatchinguptodo.”
Obviously.You’reboningmyfatherandcarryinghisevilspawn.
“Nicetoseeyou,too.”Isteppedbackandforcedasmile.
Wylehadabiggrinonhisfacewhenmyeyesfoundhis.Hethoughtthiswashilarious.Hedespisedmyfather,buthedidn’ttakeshitasseriouslyasIdid.Helaughedmostthingsoff,evenwhenhewasangry.
Andmygrandparentswereactinglikethiswasn’tthestrangestfuckingthingontheplanet.
“Isn’tthiswonderfulnews?”mygrandmothersaid.
Idon’tknowifwonderfulistherightword.
Iwouldn’tbringupthefactthatWyleandIhadactuallytakenbubblebathswhenwewerekidswithournewstepmother.
“Yes,itreallyis.Right,brother?”Wyleasked,andhecouldn’thidethemischievousgrinonhisface.
“It’sdefinitely…veryunexpected.Howhaveyourparentstakenthenews?”IaskedasIsippedmychampagne.
“Theywere,um,surprisedatfirst.Butnowthatwe’reexpectingourfirstbaby,Ithinktheyaremoreopentoit.”Shesmiledandreachedformyfather’shand.Clairewassmartandkindandconfident,alwayshadbeen.So,thiswasbaffling.Shewasn’tdoingitforthemoney,asshecamefromaverywealthyfamily.Ididn’thaveafuckingcluewhatshewasthinking.
Ihadtogiveittomyfather,hewasputtingonagoodshow.Likethiswasthehappiestmomentofhislife.
IhadabriefflashofamomentwhenmymotherandfatherwerelaughingwhenWyleandIwereyoung.Ioccasionallyrememberedhappymomentswhenloveandlaughterhadfilledourhome.ButIalsorememberedhimdemandingmymothertravelwithhimoftenwhilewestayedwiththenanniesorwithmygrandparents.Myfatherwasacontrollingman,andheexpectedalotofthepeopleinhislife.
Andafterhiswifegotsick,hepulledawaymoreandmoreeachday.He’dbegoneforweeksatatime.Andlifewaseasierwhenhewasn’thome,sowe’dsettledintoournewnormalduringthoseyears.
“They’llcomearound.We’vealwaysbeenfamily,andnowit’sofficial,”Dadsaid.
Ididn’tknowthathegraspedtheseverityofknockingupandmarryinghisbestfriend’sdaughter.Itcertainlywasn’tthebestwaytoofficiallybecomefamily.
“Dinnerisready,”Mrs.Winterssaid,andI’dneverbeensogratefultoendaconversation.
TherewasatallChristmastreeintheparlor,andtherewasusuallyoneintheformallivingroom,aswell.Ihadn’tbeeninthereyet.Otherwise,mygrandmotherkeptthingssimplethistimeofyear,knowingthatWyleandIstruggled.
IthitmeinthemomentthattodaywasChristmasEve,andnormally,Iwouldn’tbethinkingofanythingotherthanthelossofmymother.ButI’dbeensodistractedinCottonwoodCove,shoppingforGeorgia’sfamilyandthenmakingoutwithherlikeafuckingteenagerinherparents’driveway.Iwasalmostintoogoodamoodtobebotheredbythefactthatmyfatherhadmarriedmychildhoodfriend.NorwasIfeelingthedarknessthatusuallyoverwhelmedmeonthisday.
Wesettledaroundthedarkcherrywoodtable,setwithsterlingsilver,linennapkins,andmygrandmother’sfancyplates.Myphonevibratedinmybackpocket,andIpulleditintomylapandturnedofftheringer,knowingmygrandmotherwouldblastmeifshesawit.Shehadastrictruleaboutnotusingphonesatthetable.
However,knockingupyourbestfriend’sdaughter,who’shalfyourage,wasn’tahardlineforher.
Theruleswerealwaysbentformyfather.Mygrandparentstoleratedhim,andmymotherlovedhimuntilshetookherlastbreath.Sheneversaidabadwordabouthim,eventhoughhe’dbeenterribletoher.I’dneverunderstandwhyhewastheonlyonewhodidn’thavetolivebyanyrules.
IlookeddowntoseeaselfieofGeorgia.Itwasthebottomhalfofhergorgeousfacewithherslenderneckandthenecklaceondisplay.
Tink
Iloveitsomuch.Ihopeyoumadeittheresafely.Myfamilycan’tstopgushingaboutyou.AndGracieexpectsyoutoattendtheteapartynow.#anothertriptothetipsytea
Ineedtoseeyourface.
ThatwasallIcouldthinktosay,becauseitwastrue.Somethingaboutherface,hereyes,hersmile—itcalmedme.
Comfortedme.
Thephotocamethrough,andshewasclearlylaughingbecausehermouthwaswideopen,andevenhereyesweresmiling.Andmyheartrateslowed.Myangerdissipated.
Shewasbetterthanashotofwhiskey.
Ituckedmyphonebackintomypocketasserversfilledourwineglassesandplateswithsilverdomeswereplacedinfrontofus.Mybrotherleanedcloseashesatbesideme.Myfatherwasdeepinconversationwithmygrandfather,andmygrandmotherwasaskingClaireallsortsofquestionsaboutthebaby.
“I’vegottogiveittotheolddude.He’snotaspredictableasIthoughthewas,”Wylesaid.
“Youcouldn’thavegivenmeaheads-upbeforetheywalkedin?”IhissedandnoddedatMrs.Winterswhenshesettheplatewiththesilverdomeinfrontofme.
“AndmissoutonyouspewingCristalalloverthevelvetchair?Hellstotheno,brother.Thatwaspriceless.Maybethebestgiftyou’vegivenmeinawhile.”
“Nice.”Ishookmyheadandliftedmywineglasstomylips.Thebubblywasnotgoingtobeenoughtogetmethroughthisdinner.
“Howlongdoweneedtostay?”
Inowunderstoodwhyourfatherneededoursupport.JohnStrausswasawealthybankerinthecity,andClairewasawell-knownsocialitewho’dbeeninthepressalotaftershe’ddatedanactorafewyearsago,andpeoplebecamefascinatedwithher.Itwasmainlyduetoherlavishlifestyle,butthiswoulddefinitelybebignewsthatshe’dmarriedthemucholderbestfriendofherfather,whowasbestknownforbeingaselfishplayboyandtravelingtoexoticplaces.
“Iplannedtostaytwonights,butIthinkweshouldheadbacktomorrownight.”Thetruthwas,IwantedtofinishmyconversationwithGeorgia.Ihadn’tbeenlaidinmonths,andforwhateverreason,itwasn’tgoingtohappenaslongasshewasonmymindandinvadingmyeveryfuckingthought.She’dtoldmenottooverthinkit.SheknewwhoIwas,andifshewasokaywithit…Iwasn’tgoingtofightit.
“Imetsomeone.I’mgoingtoflyhertomeetmeinthecityforafewdays,andthenI’llmeetyouinCrystalCove,”hesaid.
“It’sCottonwoodCove.AndIthoughtyouaskedmeiftherewereanywomentherebecauseyouweresingle.Whendidyoumeetsomeone?”
“Lastnight.IwasinNewYork,andshe’safriendofafriend,andwehititoff.Atleastforrightnow.”Hesmirked.
“Allright,”Mrs.Winterssaid,andeveryonestoppedtalking.“Dinnerisserved.”Theridiculouslyformaldomeswereliftedfromourplates,andthesmellofbeeftenderloinandrosemarypotatoesfloodedmysenses.
Mygrandfatherraisedaglassandwaitedforusalltodothesame.Claireheldherwaterglassupandglancedoveratmewithasmile.Thewholethingwasawkward.We’dbeenfriendsforaslongasIcouldremember.We’devenspentfamilyvacationstogether.Nowshewascarryingmysibling?
“Cheerstoanothergreatyeartogether.TothisnewadventureforDavisandClaireandtheirnewbaby,andtomygrandsons,whoarebothamazing,andtomybeautifulbride,whoIloveendlessly.Let’seat.”
Mygrandmotherblushed.Sheactuallyblushed.They’dbeenmarriedforoverfiftyyears,andtheystillhadthatspark.Iknewitexisted.I’djustseentheothersideofit.Theuglysideoflove.Theonethaterodesanddestroysandeventuallysucksthelifefromyou
IshookitoffaswelistenedtoWyletellusabouthistravels,andClairesharedherplansforthenurseryinthenewhometheywereclosingonnextweek.Weate,wedrank,andthenwemovedintotheformallivingroomtoopengifts.
WealwaysdiditonChristmasEvenow,asChristmasmorningwasnolongerwhatitusedtobe,andnoonewaspretendingthatitwas.
IreceivedmoregiftsthanIneededfrommygrandparents,fromclothingandshoestocolognetofancycufflinksandanewwatch.Myfathergifteduscash,whichwastypicalforhim.Itwasn’treallysomethinganyofusneeded,butIdidn’tnormallyputthoughtintogifts,sowhowasItojudgeaboutthat?
Thesurpriseoftheeveningwaswatchingeveryoneopentheirgiftsfromme.Mygrandmothergaspedwhensheunwrappedthegorgeouscharmbraceletwithcharmsrepresentingmygrandfather,myfather,me,andWyle.Allherboys.Hereyeswerewetwithemotion,andherhandclaspedherheart.
“Thankyou.Ilovethis,”shesaidsoftly,almostatalossforwords.
“Youalwayswereakiss-ass.Apparently,you’veuppedyourgame,”Wylewhisper-hissedinmyearasmygrandparentsopenedthewineandcheesebasketfromhim.
Ismirkedasmygrandfathertuggedoffthebowofthelargeboxsittingonhislap.Whenhepulledoffthelid,hejuststareddown,notsayingaword.
Whatthefuckdidshegethim?
“Maddox,”hesaid,hisvoicewobbly.“Verythoughtful,myboy.”
AfirsteditionofTheGreatGatsbyforhislibrary.Georgiahadaskedmewhathisfavoritebookwasinpassingafewweeksago,butIhadn’tknownwhy.Ithoughtshewasjustcurious,becausesheaskedalotofquestionsallthetime.
ButGeorgiaReynoldsreallywasafuckingrockstar.
Wylegroanedasheleanedclosetome.“Nextyear,we’regoinginongiftstogether,youdickmonger.”
Ilaughed,andtherestofthenightwasuneventful.MyfatherwassurprisedthatI’dgottenhimapairofsuperfancyblackvelvetslipperswithhisinitialsmonogrammedonthem.
Iwasjustassurprisedashewas.
AndClaireappearedoverjoyedwiththesoft,oversizedwhiteblanketthatI’dgottenher.
ButthemostsurprisinghadbeenWyle’sgift.AframedphotoofmeandWylewhenwewereyoungsatbesideamorerecentoneofthetwoofus.She’dobviouslygoneontoFacebooktofindthese,andmybrothergapedashetookinthephotographs.Andthenhereachedinsidetheboxandpulledoutasuperfancycamera.I’dsharedwithGeorgiathatmybrotherhadrecentlyfoundaloveforphotographyduringhistravels,andithadannoyedmethathe’dtakenallthesegreatphotosfromhisphone.
Sheclearlylistened.
“Damn,brother.Ineedtostepupmygamenextyear,”hesaid,clappingmeontheshoulder.“Thankyousomuch.”
Hespentthenexthourlookingathiscameraandallthedifferentcomponentsthatitcamewith,andweatedessertandtalked,andtherewerenofireworks.
Noblowups.
Nodrama.
Andmostimportantly,I’dsurvivedthenight.Christmaswasusuallytheworsttimeofyearforme,butifIcouldgetthroughtomorrowaseasilyastoday,Iwouldbeheadinghomeunscathed.
Ididn’tknowwhenithappened,butCottonwoodCovehadstartedtofeellikehome.
AndIknewthereasonforit.
Tink.nineteenGeorgia
Iwasinmyroom,andHughandLilahadgonedowntothecovetohangout.Itwasfreezingoutside,soIdidn’tknowwhatthosetwodiddownthere,nordidIwanttoknow.IwasdeepintoanewbookthatMarahadsentme.
Christmasmorninghadbeengreat.We’dallbeenatmyparents’,andthereweretoomanygifts,toomuchfood,andanabundanceoflaughter.
ItwasmykindofChristmas.
IwaschargingmynewKindlethatBrinkleyhadgottenme,andmyparentshadgivenmeabunchofnewclothesthatIcouldweartowork.Ofcourse,CagegotmeasubscriptiontoKindleUnlimited,justashedideveryyear,becausehesaiditwasthebestbangformybuck.FinnhadgottenmepajamasandslipperswhichIcouldn’twaittoslipinto,andHughandLilahadsurprisedmewiththemostgorgeouscashmeresweater.
ThehighlighthadbeenwatchingGracieopenhergifts.Thegirlgaspedovereverylittlething,andshewasthrilledthatIhadgivenherapairoflittleearrings,whichmeantIwastakinghertogetherearspierced.IthadtakensomeworktogetCagetoagree,buthe’dfinallygivenmethethumbs-up.
Maddoxhadbeentextingmeallmorning,shockedbythegiftsthatI’dpurchasedforhisfamily.Hewasveryimpressedbyhowthoughtfultheywere,butitwaseasyoncehe’dansweredafewsimplequestions,anditdidn’thurtthathe’dtoldmetospend“whateveritcosts.”Withabudgetlikethat,I’dhadalotoffun.
ItwasamazingwhatyoucouldfindoutonGooglewhenyousearchedgiftsforthewealthiestofpeople.
Myphonevibrated,andIjumped.
Bossman
Whatareyouwearing?
Thatwasrandom.Longunderwear.Wewenttobogganingearlier.Howaboutyou?
Bossman
Nice.Doyoustillwantmetokissyouagain?
Ichuckled.ItwasallIthoughtabout.Myfingerandthumbfoundthestarcharmatthebaseofmyneck.
I’mnotonetowaver.Absolutely.You?
Bossman
Yes.Howwouldthatworkwithmebeingyourboss?
I’dbeyourbossinthebedroom.
Ifellbackinlaughter,knowingthatwasgoingtogetaresponse.
Bossman
Georgia.That’smostdefinitelynotgoingtohappen.
Fine.Youcanbethebossinboth.Noonehastoknowatwork.You’vemadeitclearthatyoudon’tdorelationships,sowhycomplicatethings?It’llbeafling,andwe’llgobacktobeingfriendsafter.
Bossman
You’refinewiththat?
Yes.Stopoverthinkingeverything.
Bossman
Ican’t.
Foraguywhodoesn’tdorelationships,yousurethinkaboutitalot.
Bossman
Onlywithyou.
Why?
Bossman
Becauseit’syou,Tink.Andyou’rekindofmyfavoritepersonrightnow.WhichissayingalotbecauseIdon’tlikemostpeople.
Myeyeswatered,andmychestsqueezed.
Iloveyou,too.
You’remyfavorite,too,MaddoxLancaster.Evenwhenyou’restubbornandgrumpy…you’restillmyfavorite.
Bossman
Openyourdoor.
Didhesendmesomething?
Ijumpedtomyfeetandopenedthedoorleadingoutside,andtherestoodthesexiestmanintheworld.Darkjeans.Blacktrenchcoat.Tall.Broad.Intensestare.
Ithrewmyselfintohim.“Whatareyoudoinghere?Youtoldmeyouweren’tcomingbackuntiltomorrow.”
“Idon’twanttowaitanymore.Ican’tstopthinkingaboutyou,sohereIam.”
“Wow.Youreallywantme,don’tyou?”IteasedasIwalkedbackwardanddroppedtositonmybed.
Hestormedpastmetowardthecloset,asifheknewwherehewasgoing.“You’veneverbeenhere.Howdoyouknowwheretheclosetis?”
Hecameoutholdingahotpinkdufflebag.“Thisplaceisunusuallysmall,soit’snottoochallengingtofindacloset.AndIdidgotoHarvard,remember?”
Ibarkedoutalaughandhurriedtothecloset.“Whatarewedoing?”
“Packyourthingsforafewdays.You’restayingwithme.”
IeyedhimasIreachedformyturtlenecksweaterandpulleditonovermyheadbecauseitwascoldoutside.Andhestartedpullingsweatersoffthehangersandtossingthemintothebag.
“Afewdays?Youweren’tsureyoucouldevenhandlemorethanakiss.Nowyou’rekidnappingme?”Ilaughed.
Hetuggedmeagainsthisbody.“Doyouwantthis,Tink?Becauseit’sallIfuckingthinkabout.”
“Forsomeonewhodoesn’tdorelationships,you’reawfullybossyabouthowthisallworks.”
“We’llfigureitoutaswego.Butrightnow,Iwanttotakeyouhome,”hesaid,hisvoicedeepandcommanding.
Youdon’thavetoaskmetwice.I’dfantasizedaboutthismanforweeks.
“Soundsfair.IneedtotellmybrotherandLilasomething,andthisissortofasecret,right?Isn’tthathowflingswork?”
Hegroaned.“Aretheygoingtoreportustohumanresources?Notthatitreallymatters,seeingasIownthecompany.”
“Ofcoursenot.They’realreadysuspiciousbecausetheycan’tmindtheirownbusiness.Buttheywouldnevertellanyone.Theyknowit’snotanythingbig.Butwhyisitasecretifyouownthecompanyanyway?”IrolledmyeyesasIstaredupathim.Iwasn’tabouttotellhimthattheyfullyspiedonuswhenwewereoutsideandIclimbedhimlikeaspidermonkey.Themanwouldprobablyfreakout.Imovedtothebathroomtopackupmytoiletries,andhefollowed.
“There’snosenseinvolvingpeoplewhenit’stemporary,right?We’vegotafewdaysoffwork,soaren’tyoutheonewhosaidweshouldtakeitonedayatatime?”Hestoodbehindme,andIlookedupatthemirrortoseehisbrowsfurrowedashestudiedme.Itwasobviousthatthiswasnotsomethinghewasusedtodiscussing.
“Yes.However,youjustpackedabagformetocomestaywithyouforacoupleofdays.So,you’vealreadychangedtherules.”
“Fucktherules.Wecanmakeupourownaswego.”
“Ilikethewayyouthink,Bossman.”Imovedbackouttotheroom,andhetookmytoiletriesanddroppedthemintothepinkbag.ItypedoutaquicktexttoLila,askinghertofindtherightwaytoletmybrotherknowI’dbegoneforafewdayswithmyboss.
Shesentbackabunchofheadexplodingandfireemojis,whichmademelaugh.
“Youready?”heasked,asheshovedhishandsintohispockets.
“Iwasbornready.”Ichuckledbecausethiswasreallyhappening.AndIwasn’tnervousoranxiousorevenlettingmyselfoverthinkthefactthatIwasabouttohavesexwithmyboss.
WhoalsohappenedtobethesexiestmanI’devermet.
Plus,Ifiguredhewasprobablyexperienced,sohe’dknowhiswayaroundawoman’sbody,unliketheotherguysI’ddatedovertheyears.
Heslungmydufflebagoverhisshoulderandopenedthedoor.Iturnedaroundtolockthedoor,andthesnowwasstillfalling.HesurprisedmebywrappinganarmaroundmyshoulderandpullingmecloseashehurriedmetohiscarlikeIwasgoingtofreezeifIstayedouthereonemoreminute.
MaddoxLancasterwasfullofsurprises.Hecouldbeverythoughtfulwhenhewantedtobe.
Hehelpedmeintothecarandreachedformybuckle,whichItuggedfromhishand.“I’vegotit.”Icertainlydidn’tneedthemanspoilingmeoversomethingthatwouldbeoverbeforewereturnedtoworkaftertheholidays.
Thiswasmyfirstfling.
Iwasamodern-daywoman,butI’dalwaysbeeninarelationshipwiththepersonIwashavingsexwith.
Butthoserelationshipshadhardlyturnedout,somaybethiswouldbetheanswertoallmyromanticproblems.
Findaguyyouliketohangoutwithandhavesexwithhimacoupleoftimes.
Howhardcouldthatbe?
Nopunintended.
“I’mgladyou’rehere,Tink.”Heclearedhisthroataswedrovetheshortdistancetohishouse,beforeglancingoveratmewhenhepulledintohisgarageandturnedoffthecar.Itwasclearthathewasuncomfortableaboutthewholething.
“Ithoughtyouwereaplayer?”Isaid,gapingathim.
“Whatthefuckareyoutalkingabout?Iam.”
“Well,whydoyouseemso…”Ishruggedasawidegrinspreadacrossmyface.“Awkward.Isn’tthissortofyourthing?”
Herolledhiseyes.“Firstofall,nothingaboutthisismything.Idon’ttalkabouthavingsexwithawoman.Wejustdoit.It’sjustsortofknownthemomentthatwegettogether.Everythingaboutthisisdifferent.You’redifferent.So,Idon’twanttotraumatizeyouorfuckthisup.”
Iunbuckledmyseatbeltandslidacrosstheseatandontohislap.“Ihardlythinkyourockingmyworldisgoingtotraumatizeme.Comeon.Ithoughtyoudidn’thaveaworkingheart.Don’tgoallsoftonmenow.”
Hethrustintomybottom.“Youdon’teverneedtoworryaboutanythingaboutmebeingsoft.”
Iturnedandstraddledhislap,andhiseyeswidened.“Youaren’tusedtobeingfriendswithawoman,andnowwe’regoingtocomplicatethings.Igetit.Butyouneedn’tworry.Iknowexactlywhatthisis,andIamsohereforit.”
“Andwhenwegobacktowork?”
“I’llgetyourcoffeeandreadthemanuscriptsyousendandorganizeyourcalendar.Iprobablywon’tevenrememberthis.Imean,I’vehadthreeboyfriendsinmylife,soI’mnotavirgin.Butsexhasreallyneverbeenallthatnoteworthyforme,norwouldIhavehadahardtimebeingaroundthemoncewearen’ttogether.Itwasn’tveryspectacular,youknow?Maybethere’ssomethingwrongwithme,ormaybeit’sjustnotmything.So,Ithinkmaybeyou’remakingthisabiggerdealthanitis.Iwillactcompletelyprofessionalafterward.Scout’shonor.”Iheldupmytwofingers.
“Icanpromiseyouonething,Tink,”hesaid,ashislipsfoundtheirwaydownmyneck.
Istartedgrindingupagainsthimoninstinct,andmyheadfellback.“Whatdoyoupromise?”
“Thiswillbemorethanfuckingnoteworthy.Andfortherecord,mycockfindsthewordnoteworthyoffensive.Andsexisdefinitelyyourthing.You’vejustbeendatingboysupuntilnow,andyou’veneverbeenwithaman.ButIplanonstartingthingsoffbydroppingtomykneesandburyingmyheadbetweenyourthighs,lickingandtastingyouuntilyoucryoutmynameoverandoveragain.”
Holyshitballs.
Myheadpoppedup,andIheldonehandoneachsideofhisfaceasItriedtocatchmybreath.
“Wow,you’rereallybringingthedirtytalk.”Ibitdownonmybottomlip.“Butfortherecord,I’veneverdonethat.”
“You’veneverdonewhat?”Heplacedhishandbeneathmychinandforcedmyeyestomeethis.
“Youknow…hadanyoneburytheirfacebetweenmythighs,asyousoeloquentlyputit.”
WhywasIpanting?
“Noonehasevertastedyou,Tink?”Histonguecameoutandmovedacrosshisplumplipsslowlyashestudiedme
Iclearedmythroatandshookmyhead.“Nope.”
“Howisthatpossible?”
Iletoutalongbreath.“So,myhighschoolboyfriend,Scotty,hadanutallergy.Thekidwouldn’tputanythinginhismouthwithoutcheckingwithhismother,soobviously,thatwasoffthetable.”
Heshookhisheadindisbelief.“Un-fucking-believable.Scottymissedthefuckout.Andfortherecord,I’driskgoingintoanaphylacticshockjustforatasteofyoursweetpussy.”
“You’reinsane,”Iwhisperedovermylaughter.
“Andtheothertwo?”
“Myfirstcollegeboyfriend,Bruno,wasjustmoreofawham-bam-thank-you-ma’amtypeoflover.Youknow?”
“No.Idon’t,”hesaiddryly,hiseyessearchingmine.“LikeIsaid,you’vebeendatingboys.”
“AndthenDikotahadatonguepiercing,soIwasn’tabouttoriskanysortoftechnicalissuesdownsouth.So,Iputthekiboshonthatwithhim,notthathetriedanyway.Hewasaveryselfishlover,ifI’mbeinghonest.”
“Whatasurprise.Hestoleyourcar,fuckedyourroommate,andchasedhisownpleasure.Thedickheadwasverypredictable,”hehissed.
“So…youwillbeenteringaterritorynomanhasbeenbefore.”Ichuckled.
“Thatturnsmethefuckon.Iwanttobethefirsttotasteyou.Tomakeyoufeelsogood,you’llneverforgetwhowenttherefirst.”
Diditjustgetreallyhotinhere?
Inodded.“Ilikethesoundofthat.”
“Yeah?AndI’dlikethesoundofyoucomingonmylips.”
“Oh.My.Gosh,”Iwhispered.“IthinkI’dbeopentothat.”
“That’sallIneededtohear.”Hismouthcrashedintomine,andmylipsparted,invitinghimin.
Ourtonguestangledashepushedthecardooropenandmanagedtostepoutwithmeinhisarms.Mylegscamearoundhiswaist,andourmouthsneverlostcontact.
Icouldn’tthink.
Icouldn’tbreathe.
Itangledmyhandsinhishairandkissedhimharder.
Iwasnotgoingtooverthinkthis.Iwasgoingtoenjoyeverylastsecond.
Orminutes.
Ormaybeevenhours.twentyMaddox
Icarriedherintothehouse,mymouthonhers,asIwalkedstraighttothebedroom.Idroppedherontomybed,herblondehairfallingallaroundherlikeagoddamnedangel.AndIfuckingmissedhertheminutemylipsweren’tonhers.
Herbrowspinchedtogetherasifsheweredeepinthought.
“Hey,there’snopressurehere.Areyouhavingsecondthoughts?”Iasked,waitingforhergazetomeetmine.
“Ofcoursenot.ButIneedtoaskyousomething.”
“Ask,”Idemanded.
“DidyousleepwithHeatherthatnight?”sheasked.
“Hell,no.Isentherasshomerightafterdinner.Iwaspissedatthewayshe’dtreatedyou.”Ipaused.“Butthatdoesn’tmeanwhatyouwantittomean.”
“WhatdoIwantittomean,Bossman?”
“ThatI’mthekindofguywhodeservesallyourgoodness.”
“Whydoyouthinkyoudon’tdeservegoodness?”Shereachedupandranherfingersalongthescruffofmyjaw.
“Trustme.IhaveeverythingIneed.Butyou…youshouldhavesomeonewhocangiveyouwhatyouwant.Whatyoudeserve.”
Iwasjusttheselfishbastardthatwantedherinspiteofit.Knowingitcouldn’tgoanywhere.Knowingthiswouldmostlikelyendindisaster.Istillwanteditsobadlythattherewasnowaytostopitatthispoint.
Unlessshesaidshewantedtostop.
“You’reoverthinkingitagain.Thisisafling,sowewillkeepitcasual.”
“Whatdoessaidflingentail?”Mylipsmovedtoherneck,andIsuckedandlickedrightbeneathherear,andshemoaned.Mydickwasstrainingsohardagainstthezipperonmyjeans,desperatetobeunleashed.
“Well,Ithinksexisthefoundationofagoodfling,right?Idon’tknow.Thisismoreyourareaofexpertise.”Herbreathswerecominghardandfast.
IcontinuedmovingalongherneckanddowntohercollarboneasIspokeagainstherskin.“Correct,Tink.Lotsofsex.”
Shetuggedmyheaduptolookatme.
“Therearesomerules,Bossman.”
Herwarmbreathtickledmycheek.“Tellme.”
“Well,I’mallaboutthatYOLOlife.”ShepausedwhenIlookedatherwithconfusion.“Youonlyliveonce.”
“Whatthefuckdoesthatevenmean?Andfortherecord,I’venevertalkedsomuchbeforesex.”Mytonguetraileddownherneck.Thiswasenoughtalk;itwastimetomakeherfeelgood.
Shetuggedmyheadbackupandplacedonehandoneachsideofmyface.
“Iwassaying,IamallabouttheYOLOlife;however…therearestillrules.”
“Tellme.”Iraisedabrowimpatiently.
“Ifwearegoingtohavesex,thenweonlyhavesexwithoneanother.Andwhenwe’redone,thenwecangobacktodoingwhateverwewant.”
Ithoughtitover.“I’veneverplayedbyanyoneelse’srules,butIhaven’thadsexwithanyonesincethedayyoustrolledintomyofficeandbecamethebiggestpainintheassI’veevermet.Plus,Idon’twantyouhavingsexwithanyoneelserightnow.So,thismeansthatyourpussybelongstomeforthetimebeing.You’reallmine,GeorgiaReynolds.”
“Oooohhh…Ilikehowpossessiveyouareaboutourfling.That’sapleasantsurprise.”
Igrowledandgrippedherhips,grindingmymassivecockagainsthercoreasIstoodbetweenherthighs.
“Lookatme,”Idemanded.
Hereyesfoundmineasherbreathsgrewlouder,andIcontinuedtorockagainstherasIspoke.“Lotsofsex.Onlywitheachother.Wekeepitasecret.Actprofessionalattheoffice.Andwhenwe’retiredofit,thenitends,andtherearenohardfeelings.Yousureyou’reokaywiththat?”
“Don’toffendme.Iusuallygetboredfairlyquickly.IthinkIcanhandleamutualagreementtosleeptogetheruntilwedon’twanttodoitanymore.I’mguessingthisnon-relationshiphasthelifespanofayogurt.Igiveitaweek.Andthenwecangobacktobeingcoworkerswhoannoyoneanother.”
“Noonegetssickofmydickinaweek,Tink.You’llbebeggingforittheminuteyouhaveataste.”
Shesuckedinalongbreath,andIlovedthewayshereactedtomyfilthymouth.“Youtalkabiggame,Bossman.Whydon’tyouputyourmoneywhereyourmouthis?”
“HowaboutIputmymouthonyourpussy?”Ileaneddownandchuckledagainstherearandnippedatthesensitiveskinthere.
“Youareanoverachieveratthedirtytalk,aren’tyou?”sheasked,herwordsbreathyandlacedwithneedasIpushedtotoweroverher.
“IaimtobethebestatwhateverI’mdoing,Tink.”
“Whathappensifwedoitonceandwedon’tlikeit?”sheasked.Normally,Iwouldbehighlyannoyedatallthischatterbeforewegotdowntobusiness,butIfuckinglovedthewayshesharedeverythoughtthatenteredherhead.
“Youaredoubtingthewronghorse.Andbyhorse,ImeanthatI’mhunglikeone.I’veneverleftawomanunsatisfied.”IsmirkedasIreachedforthehemofhersweater.Shehadfartoomanyclotheson.
“Sococky,”sheteased.
“Iputthecockincocky,Tink.”
ShelaughedandsatforwardsoIcouldtugtheclothingoffher.
“Okay,bigtalker.Let’sseeyouworkyourmagic.”
Itossedhersweaterandherlong-sleevedshirtsheworebeneathitontothefloor.Sheworeapeach-coloredlacybra,andmymouthwateredatthesightofher.
“Fuck.Thesetitshauntmydreams.”Ireachedaroundherbackandunsnappedherbrawithonehand,andshefellbackontothebed.Icoveredherperkytitswithmybighands,andtheywerefuckingmadeforme.Aperfecthandful.
Igrazedmyfingersoverthem,tweakingherhardpeaks.
“Really?Theyaren’tthatgrand,”shewhispered,andIrealizedinthatmomentthatshewasprobablytalkingbecauseshewasnervous.Noonehadevermadeherfeelgood,andIplannedtorectifythattonight.I’dmakeherfeelsogoodshe’dneverforgetit.
“They’reworksoffuckingart.”Mymouthmovedtocoveronebreast,andshegasped.MyhandworkedtheotheroneasIlickedandsuckedasshearchedherbackandnearlycameoffthebed.Imovedfromonetothenext,takingmytime,asmyhandmovedtothebandofherbottoms.Islippedbeneaththewaistbandandmovedbetweenherthighs,pushingthestrapoffabricoutofmywayandfindinghersoaked.
Fuckme.
I’dneverbeensoturnedoninmylife.
“Sofuckingwet,Tink.Thisisdefinitelyyourthing.”Ichuckledagainstherbreastasherfingerstangledinmyhair.
Ipulledaway,removingmyhandandmymouthfromherbody,andthelossofcontactborderedonpainful.Hergazesearchedmine,eyeswild,assheplacedahandonherchesttocalmherbreathing.
“Toomanyclothes.Ineedyounaked.Ican’twaitanylonger.”Igrippedthewaistbandofherbottomsandtuggedthemdownasmyfingersmovedalongherlean,tonedthighsbeforeItossedthemontothefloor.Peachpantiesthatmatchedherbrawerewaitingbeneath,andIwasnotapatientman.MyfacecamedowntorestattheapexofherthighsasIbreathedherin.Imovedbackandslowlypulledherpantiesdownherthighs,fightingtheurgetoripthemoffherbody.
Shereachedup.“Iwantyounaked,too.”
Ituggedmysweaterovermyheadandletitdropinaheapbesideherclothing.Shepusheduptorestonherelbowsandlickedherlipsashergazemoveddownmychestandabs.“Impressive.Dropthepants,Bossman.”
Istudiedher,becausenormallyIlikedtotakecontrol.Butitturnedmeonthatshewasaskingforwhatshewanted.
IkickedoffmyshoesbeforeIundidthebuttonandzipperonmyjeansandshovedthem,alongwithmybriefs,downmylegs,kickingthemawayfromme.Istoodtherelookingather,mycockstandingstraightup,engorgedandeager.
“Wow.Youareachiseledgod,MaddoxLancaster.”Herwordswerebreathy,andmycockreactedbypuffinghimselfupevenmore,ifthatwerepossible.Imovedbetweenherlegs,pushingherbackasIstrokedhercheek.
“Youlikewhatyousee,Tink?”
“Yes.Howaboutyou?”
“Ifmydickgetsanyharder,it’llexplode.You’resofuckingbeautiful,”Isaid,leaningdownasmymouthcapturedhers.
I’dneverbeenonefortalkduringsex.Oroverlytellingawomanshewasgorgeous.Sure,I’dgiveanoccasionalcompliment,butIcouldn’tsayenoughtothiswoman.ShewasperfectinawayI’dneverexperienced.
AndIwantedhermorethanI’deverwantedanythingoranyone.
MytonguemovedinandoutofhermouthbeforeInippedatherbottomlipandtraveleddownherneck,stoppingateachofherbreasts.
Igavethemequalattentionasmyhandstrokedbetweenherlegs,andshemoaned.
Ikissedmywaydownherflatstomach,pullingbacktoseechillbumpscoveringhergoldenskin.
Iteasedher,runningmyhandbackandforthandfindingherevenmoresoakednow.Myfingerteasedherentrance,pushingintheslightestbit,andIstartledathowtightshewas.Ipulledbackbeforeslippingmyfingerintomymouth,andIgroaned.
“Sofuckingsweet,Tink.”
Hereyeswidened,lipspartedasshestaredatmewithsurprise.“Thankyou.”
Jesus.HadshereallyneverbeenwithamanwhowantedherthewaythatIdid?
Ismirked.“Areyousureyou’reokaywiththis?”
Shenoddedfrantically,whichmademechuckle.IslowlypulledhertotheedgeofthebedandpushedherlegsfartherapartbeforeIdroppedtomykneesonthefloor.Iliftedeachlegandplaceditovermyshoulder,lookingatheronelasttime.
“Relax.I’vegotyou,okay?Thisisgoingtofeelreallyfuckinggood.”
“Okay.”Thewordwasshaky.
Itookmytime.Mytongueswipedalongherfolds,teasingandtaunting,asshestartedtowrithe.Herfingersyankedatmyhairasmymouthfoundherclit,andIsuckedhard,movingmyfingerswheremytonguehadjustbeen.
Istrokedhergentlyatfirst,waitingforhertofindherrhythm.
Herbreathingwasoutofcontrol,andIcontinuedtosuckherclitandflickmytonguealongtheoutsideasshebuckedupagainstmymouth.IwatchedherasIslidonefingerin,andshetensedatfirstbeforerelaxing.Sofuckingtight.Ididn’tknowhowmydickwouldeverfit.
Imovedinandoutofherbeforeslidinginasecondfinger.Icouldfeelherclenchingaroundme.
“Maddox,”shewhisper-hissed.
Herbodyrockedfasterandfaster.Ifollowedherrhythm,pumpinginandoutofher,asmytongueandlipsfoundthesamerhythmasIteasedherclitrelentlessly.
ThelittlenoisesthatescapedhersweetmouthhadmesohardIcouldbarelyseestraight.
Herhipsbuckedfasterandfaster.
Desperateandneedy.
Shepantedandgasped.
AndIfeltitbeforeithappened.Thewayshetightenedaroundmyfingers,thewayherhandsgrippedmyhair,thesoundofhervoicecryingoutmynameasshecameapartforme.Istayedrightthere,waitingforhertorideouteverylastbitofpleasure.
“Ohmygosh,”shesaid,onceherbreathingsettled.“Wow.”
Ipusheduptolookatherasherchestcontinuedtoriseandfall.
“Haveyounevercomebefore,Tink?”IaskedasImovedontothebed,pullingheruptosettleagainstmychest.
“Iknowhowtopleasemyself,butyou’rethefirstmantogivemeanorgasm,”shesaid,hervoicelowandsexy.
Iwasn’tsurewhythatmademesofuckinghappy,butitdid.
Iwantedtobeherfirst.
Iwantedtomarkherforever.
Makehermineineveryway.
Mine.twenty-oneGeorgia
Hestrokedmyhairashisarmswrappedaroundme.Mybodywasstillcomingdownfromtheepicorgasmthathadjusttornthroughme.
I’dneverexperiencedanythinglikeit.
Andnowhewasholdingmeinhisarms,hishardchestbeneathmycheekasheheldme.
Ifthiswaswhataflingwasallabout,Iwassohereforit.
Relationshipswereoverrated.Dikotaneverwantedtocuddleaftersex.Hesaidheneededalonetimetoprocess,andwewouldbothjustliethere,staringattheceiling.
Butthis…theafter-orgasmcuddlewasaclosesecondtowhatI’djustexperienced.
Andtherewastheelephantintheroomthatwouldbeimpossibletoignore.
Myhandsliddownbetweenus,wrappingaroundhisenormouserection.Itwasthick,long,andhardasafreakingrock.
MaddoxLancasterreallywasallman.
Hisbodywasachiseledmasterpiece.I’dlostcountofhisabs,asmyeyeshadscanneddownhischestwithadmiration,butthenhe’ddroppedhispantstothefloor,andI’dgawkedinaweatthemanandhismassivepenis.
I’dneverseenanythinglikeit.
Isuckedinabreath,feelinghimgrowinmyhandasIstrokedhim.Howwasthatpossible?
Andhowthehellwasthisenormousthinggoingtofitinsideme?
Hechuckledoverhisrapidbreaths,asifhewerereadingmythoughts.
“You’llbefine,Tink.We’lltakeourtime.”Hehissedoutabreathwhenmythumbstrokedoverthetip,feelingtheslicknesstherebeforeslidingbackdown.
“Okay.Doyouhaveacondom?”
“Yes,”hesaid,hisvoicegruff.HereachedovertothenightstandandpulledopenthedrawerbeforetearingatthefoilpacketwithhisteethanddroppingthewrapperontothefloorasIcontinuedtostrokehim.
Ipushedupontomyknees,droppedmyhandfromwhereI’dbeengrippinghim,andhelditouttohim.“Showmehowtodoit.”
Hestudiedme.“Lotsoffirststonight,huh?”
Heplacedthecondominmyhandandguidedmetothetipofhisginormousschlong.Wasginormousevenaword?
Ifnot,itneededtobe.BecausetherewasnootherexplanationforwhatIwasseeing.
HishandcoveredmineasIrolledthelatexoverhim.
Hestartledmewhenhereachedformyhipsandshiftedmeoverhim.StraddlinghishipswithmykneesasIhoveredaboveMountCockasaurus.
Yes…MaddoxLancaster’sdickdeservedanickname.Thatwashowspectacularitwas.
“Youcancontrolthespeedandhowmuchyoucanhandle,okay?”hesaid,hisgazelockedwithmine.“Ifitdoesn’tfeelgood,westop.Thereareotherthingswecando.”
“Okay,”Isaid,positioningmyselfjustabovehim,histipteasingmyentrance.AndIwantedhimsobadlythatIwasdeterminedtomakethiswork.Isliddownjustalittle,flinchingattheintrusion.Hishandscameupandcoveredmybreasts,tweakingmynipples,asagroanslippedfrommylips,andItookhiminalittlebitmore.
Inchbygloriousinch.
I’dpauseandallowmyselfaminutetoadjusttohissizeashecontinuedexploringmybodybeforehetuggedmyheaddowntohismouth.
Hekissedmeslowlyatfirst,histongueslippinginandout,asItookhiminalittledeeper.Hekissedmeharderasonehandtangledinmyhairandtheothertracedupanddownmyback.Itwassosoothing,themixofpleasureandpain,Icouldn’tgetenough.Isliddown,takinghimallthewayin,andwebothfrozeforamoment.
Itwasuncomfortableatfirst,almosthardtobreathe.ButIsatupandletoutafewbreathsasIlookeddownathim.
Hisdarkeyeswerehooded,hislipsplumpfromkissingme,andhisfingerswerestilltracingmybreasts.
“Sofuckingbeautiful,Tink.”
Thewayhewaslookingatme,touchingme.
I’dneversharedamoreintimatemomentwithamanbefore.
Iwasindeeptrouble,andIknewit
ButIcouldn’tstopitifIwantedto.
Islowlyliftedupashisfingersintertwinedwithmine,andIcamebackdownjustasslowlyatfirst.Ididitagainandagain.
Somewherealongtheway,thepainhadturnedtopleasure.
Icouldfeelhimeverywhere.
OurhandsconnectedasItookmytimeridinghimoverandover.
Hegroanedashishandsuntangledfrommine,andhegrippedmyhipsbeforesittingforward,andhislipssealedoveronebreast.Helickedandsucked,andwefoundourrhythm.
Hemovedtotheotherbreastashecircledmynipplewithhistongue,andmyheadflewbackasIarchedintohim.
Faster.
Harder.
Icouldn’tgetenough.
Hisfingersmovedbetweenus,andhetouchedmejustwhereIneededhimto.
Itightenedaroundhim,mybodystiffeningasthemostpowerfulcurrentrippedthroughme,andIshookandtrembleduncontrollably.
“Fuck,”hehissedashepumpedintomeonce.
Twice.
Andthenhewentrightovertheedgewithme.
Agutturalsoundlefthisthroat,andhecontinuedmovinginsideme,tuggingatmyhairashepulledmymouthtohis.
I’dneverfeltanythinglikethis.
Thismadetheearlierorgasmseemlikeapracticeround.
Myarms,myhands,myfingers…everythingtingled.MychestpoundedsohardIcouldhearthethumpinginmyears.
Ourlaboredbreathsfloodedtheroomasasliverofmoonlightilluminatedhishandsomeface.Westayedthisway,withmeontopofhimandhisarmswrappedaroundme,untilwebothwereabletoslowourbreathing.
Andthenhepulledbacktolookatme.
“Whatthefuckareyoudoingtome?”hewhispered.
Irestedmyhandonhischeek.“Thesamethingyou’redoingtome.”
Henoddedbeforeslidingmeoffhimandlayingmeonthepillowbeforepushingtostandandwalkingtothebathroom.Ipresseduponmyelbowstowatchashismuscledbuttflexedwitheachstridefromhislong,thickthighs.Hisbroadshoulderswerecuttoperfection,andhisbackwasaworkofart.
“Icanfeelyoureyesonme,Tink.”
“I’mnottryingtohidethefactthatI’mstaring.”Ichuckled,butmyvoicewasbarelyrecognizable.Itwasallhuskyandsexedup.Hadhispenisbeensobigthatithadbumpedmyvocalcords?
Thethoughthadmelaughingharder,andMaddoxcamestridingoutofthebathroom,morebigdickenergythananyonemanshouldhave.
Butheworeitwell.
Hedoveontopofmeandtippedmeback.Hishandsfoundmineagainandinterlockedourfingersashepinnedthemabovemyhead.
“What’ssofunny,Tink?”
“Ijustcan’tbelieveeverythingthatjusthappened,youknow?”Isaid.
Herolledontohisback,pullingmewithhim.“Ididn’thurtyou,didI?”
TherewasasoftersidetothismanthatIdidn’tthinkheshowedmanypeople,andIwashonoredthatheshowedittomeoften.
“Um,no.Imean,atfirst,itwasashocktothesystem,”Isaid,glancingupandsmilingathim.“Butthenitwasjust…amazing.”
“Youfeltsofuckinggood.Idon’tknowifI’llevergetenoughofyou,Tink.”
Iranmyfingersoverhischest,acrossthelightdustingofdarkhair,andtracedeachofhisdistinctabs.“Careful,Bossman.Youdon’twanttogofallinginlovewithmenow.”
Hedidn’tlaugh.Hedidn’tsayaword.
Theenergyintheroomshifted.
IwantedtotellhimthatIwasalreadyhopelesslyinlovewithhim.
ButIknewitwouldfreakhimout.
ItwassometofallfortheguythatIcouldn’thave.
Becausethismanhadmadeitclearthatthiswastemporary,butthatdidn’tstopmefromwantinghim.
“Tellmewhatitwaslikegrowingupinahousewithallthosekidsandallthatlovethere,”hesaid,surprisingmewiththequestion.Hisfingersgentlytracedupanddownmybackandneck
“Crazy.Chaotic.Fun.Frustrating,”Isaid.“Beingthebabyofthefamilycanbedifficultsometimes.Everyonethinkstheyknowwhat’sbestforme.Butatthesametime,IneverhaveadayinmylifewhereIdon’tknowhowmuchI’mloved.”
“That’sthedream,right?”hesaid,hisvoicelowandserious,asifhewasdeepinthought.
Ipusheduptolookathim.“Iseethewayyourgrandfatherlooksatyou,Maddox.AndIdon’tknowyourdadoryourbrotheroryourgrandmother,butI’mguessingtheyloveyoufiercely,too.”
Hesmiled.OneofthoseraresmilesthatIgotfromhim.Perfectlywhiteteeth,handsomeface,andasmilethatreachedhisdarkeyes.“That’sbecauseyou’reallgood,Tink.Youthinkeveryoneislovable.”
“Idon’t.ButIknowyouare.”
BecauseI’mcrazyinlovewithyou.
Maddoxwrappedhisarmsaroundmealittletighter,andIlistenedtothesoundofhisbreaths.Thewayhischestroseandfellwithmeagainsthim.Therhythmicbeatingofhisheartsoothedme.AndIdozedoff,feelingmorerelaxedandcontentthanI’deverbeeninmylife.
WhenIopenedmyeyes,theroomwaspitchdark,soIknewitwasstillnighttime.Iglancedaroundtheroom,andMaddoxwasgone.Ireachedformyphoneandsawthatitwasjustaftertwoo’clockinthemorning,andIsetitbackdownonthenightstand.
Ipushedtomyfeetandfoundhissweateronthefloorandpulleditovermyhead.Thewarmthofthecashmeredrapedoverme,fittingmorelikeadress,andIpaddedthroughthebedroomandoutintothehallway.
Wherecouldhehavegone?
Itwasthemiddleofthenight.
“Maddox?”Iwhispered.
Iheardwhatsoundedlikeamuffledvoiceindistress,andIhurriedtowardthebedroomattheendofthehallway.WhenIpushedthedooropen,Maddoxhadhishandsupashecontinuedtoyell,anditsoundedlikehewassaying“help,”butitwashardtotell.
Imovedtothesideofthebed,andIreachedforhishands.“Hey,it’sme.You’reokay.”
Hepulledhishandsawayandflailedalittlebit,butImovedcloser,myhandsoneachsideofhisface.“Maddox.Maddox.”
Ikeptmyvoicecalm.I’dheardmymomtalkaboutpatientswhohadnightterrors,andIknewIwasn’tsupposedtowakehim,butIcouldn’tstandseeinghimsoupset.
Icontinuedsayinghisname,andheeventuallystoppedshouting,andhiseyesshotopen.
Helookedterrifiedatfirst.Confused.Devastated.Icouldn’tplaceallthethingsIsawinhisdarkgaze.
“You’reokay,”Iwhispered.
“Tink?”Heblinkedafewtimesbeforesittingupandrubbingahandoverhisface.
“Icamelookingforyou.Ididn’tknowwhereyouwent.”
Helookedsovulnerablewhenhisgazemetmine.Itnearlytookmybreathaway.“Idon’tnormallyspendthenightwiththewomenthatI’mwith.Idon’tdosleepovers.”
Yethe’daskedmetostaywithhimforafewdays?Itappearedwewerebothhavinglotsoffirsts.
“Whydidn’tyoutellmethat?”
“Idon’tliketoadvertisethefactthatIhavenightmares,Georgia.It’snotsomethingI’mproudof.”
Ipushedhimdowntolieonhisback,andIslippedintothebedbesidehim,myfingersmovingalonghisjawinanattempttocomforthim.“Norshoulditbesomethingyouareashamedof.Lotsofpeoplehavenightmares,Maddox.”
Heletoutalongbreath.“Fuck.Thisiscomplicated.Iwantedyoutostayhereforafewdays,butIthoughtifIsleptinanotherroom,Iwouldn’twakeyouup.”
“Hey,”Isaid,pushinguponhischesttolookathim.Theroomwasdark,butenoughlightwascomingthroughtheblindstomakeouthisfeatures.“Youdidn’twakemeup.Iwokeuponmyownandcamelookingforyou.”
“I’msorryIwasn’tthere.Ishouldhavetoldyou.”
“Iforgiveyou.You’reactuallyprettycuddly,Bossman.”
“You’retheonlywomanI’veeverwantedtoholdaftersex,”hesaid,hisvoicelowandhesitant,asiftheadmissionwassomethinghewasuncomfortablesharing.
“Doyouthinkit’smypickleballskillsthatmakemespecial?”Isaid,myvoicealltease.
“OrthewayyoujustrodemelikeafuckingjockeyattheKentuckyDerby.”
Ilaughed.“Let’sgobacktosleep,okay?”
“IfIdoanything—”Hepaused.“OrifIshoutanditscaresyou,Iwantyoutoleave.”
“Youdon’tscareme,Maddox.”Iwrappedmyarmsaroundhischestandfellbackasleep.
Iwasn’tscaredthatMaddoxwouldhaveanightmare.
Iwasonlyscaredthathe’dmostlikelybreakmyheart.twenty-twoMaddox
WhenIwokeupthefollowingmorning,IlookedaroundwhenIrealizedGeorgiawasgone.Isurgedtomyfeet,worriedthatI’ddonesomethingtofrightenher.
Jesus.I’dfuckedupinvitingherhere.WhatwasIthinking?
Iwasn’t.
Iwantedherwithme,andIwentforit.
Andnowsheknewaboutthenightmares.
OutsideofWyle,shewastheonlyone.
Ihurrieddownthehallway,andthesmellofbaconfloodedmysenses.Ilookedinmybedroom,andshewasn’tthere,soIpulledonapairofjoggersandmyHarvardhoodieandmademywayouttothekitchen.
I’dgivenHildatheweekofffortheholidays,notthatsheevercookedwhenshewashere.
“MySharona”playedthroughthespeakeronthecounter,butthevolumewaslow.Obviously,shedidn’twanttowakeme.Shehadherbacktome,butIcouldseethatshewaswearingmyblacksweaterthatdrapedoverherpetiteframeandendedathermid-thigh.Sheworemygrandfather’scowboyhat,andshewasswayingherhipstothemusicasshecrackedanegginthepan.
Sofuckingsexy.
IjusttookaminutetoenjoytheviewbeforeIspoke.“Whatarewedoinginhere?”
Shejumped,droppedtheeggonthefloor,andletoutalittlesqueal.
Ichuckledandwalkedcloser,reachingforsomepapertowelsandwipingupthemessasshewatchedme.
“Sorry.Didn’tmeantoscareyou.”
OnceItossedtherawegginthegarbage,shereachedforthecleanerandwipeduptheremnantsoftheeggonthefloortomakesureitwasgone.Sheplacedherhandsonherhipsandsmiledupatme.
“Allthatgoodlovin’mademehungry.Ihopeit’sokaythatImadeusbreakfast.”
“Ofcourseitis.”Ishovedmyhandsintothepocketsofmyjoggerstokeepfromreachingforher.
Icouldn’tgetenoughofher,andthathadneverhappenedtomebefore.
“Iwasthinkingaboutthiswholeflingexperience,andIfeellikethismightbemything.Imisjudgedtheideaofit.”Sheturnedaroundandcrackedanotheregginthepanbeforeslippingonapairofovenmittsfrommydrawerandpullingthesizzlingbaconfromtheoven.Shehadtwoplatesout—she’dclearlyalreadyfoundherwayaroundthekitchen—andstartedplatingourfood.Itsmelleddamngood.
“Whatarewetalkingabout?”Iasked,pouringuseachaglassoforangejuice,asshecarriedtheplatestothetable.
“We’retalkingaboutflings.Imean,thisisgreat.Ihadtwoorgasms,Isleptlikeababy,andnowwe’reeatingbreakfasttogether,andit’stotallycomfortable.ThisflingisbetterthananyrelationshipI’veeverhad.”Sheshruggedandreachedforapieceofbaconandbitoffthetop.
Thatwasbecausenothingaboutthiswaslikeatypicalfling.Ineveraskedawomantostaywithmefordaysortosleepatmyhouse.NorwouldIhaveeversleptwithawomaninmyarmsorenjoyedeatingbreakfasttogether.
IspentsomuchtimewithGeorgiadaily,andnowwe’daddedfabuloussextotheequation—thebestsexI’deverexperiencedinmyentirefuckinglife,ifIwerebeinghonest.AndnowIwasfuckedbecauseIonlywantedmore.
Nothingaboutthiswasafling.
ButI’dmostlikelyfuckitup,soIwouldn’tadmitthattoherjustyet.
“Isee.”Iforkedsomehashbrownsandpoppedthemintomymouthandgroaned.Damn,shewasagoodcook.“Thisisdelicious.”
“SeewhatI’msaying?Thisisawin-winforeveryone.”
Inodded,fightingbacktheurgetosmile.“Thanksforstayinglastnight.I’msorryaboutthenightmare.”
“Don’tberidiculous.Ittakesalottoscareme,Bossman.Finnusedtosleepwalk.OnenightafterI’dwatchedasuperscarymovie,hecamewalkingintomybedroominthemiddleofthenightandjuststoodovermybed,staringatme.Iopenedmyeyesandscreamed.Hescaredthebejesusoutofme.”Herheadfellbackinlaughter.
“Whatdidyoudo?”IstudiedherasIforkedsomeeggs.
“Well,Ididn’tknowhewassleepwalking,soIlungedfromthebedandkarate-choppedthepoorbastardinthethroat.Ithoughthewasmessingwithme.Butmyparentscamerushingin,andeveryonewokeup,andthenwerealizedFinnwasn’tawake.Hewasn’thappythenextmorningtolearnthatI’dassaultedhiminhissleep.Henevercameintomyroomagain,buthedoesoccasionallysleepwalk.It’sjustlikehavinganightmare,andthere’snoshameinthat.”Shetookasipoforangejuiceandthenlickedherlipsaftershesetherglassdown,andmydickimmediatelyresponded.
“I’vehadthesamenightmareforyears,”Iadmitted.Hell,itwasouttherenow,Imayaswellexplainit.
“Whathappensinyournightmare?Doyouremember?”
Isetmyforkdown.“It’salwaysthesamething.Mefindingmymomchokingandgaspinginherbed.NotknowingwhatthefuckI’mdoing,butIattemptCPRandthere’snochange.Inmynightmare,itgoesonandon,butinreality,itallhappenedveryfast.Butit’svivid,anditalwaysfeelslikeI’mthere.Relivingtheworstmomentofmylifealloveragain.”Iclearedmythroat.I’dnevertalkedaboutitwithanyone.Yes,WyleknewIhadthem,butwedidn’tdiscussthedetails.
AndGeorgiahadprovenherselftrustworthy,asnothingI’dsharedhadevercomebacktobiteme.
Shewasn’tlookingtosellmeoutormakeaquickbuck.
“Howoftendoyouhavethem?”
“Ihonestlydon’tknowbecauseIlivealoneandsleepalone.”
“Soyoureallyneverfallasleepwithyourlovers?”shesaiditsodramaticallyitwasimpossiblenottolaugh.
“YousayitlikeI’msomesortofmaleescort.Therearealotofwomenwhoaredownforagooddinner,goodsex,andthenyoupartways.It’snotthatuncommon.”
“Igetthat,”shesaid,andherlipsturnedupinthecornersbeforeshesetmygrandfather’shatonthetable.“Buttheafterisprettydamngood,right?OrmaybeI’mjustanaffectionateperson.ButIdon’tknow,Bossman,Ilikedsleepingwithyou.Maybeit’sbecauseyouworkmetothebone,soit’sjusthabittobenearyou.”Shesmirked.
“Thebone,huh?I’vegotadifferentboneforyou.”
“Sodirty.”Shepausedforaminuteandglancedoutthekitchenwindowbeforeturningbacktome.“Youknowhowyoudidn’tlikemeridingonthescooter,evenbeforeyouknewme?Youknewitwasdangerous,right?”
“Yes.Don’tevengetmestartedaboutthatmotorizedpieceofshit.”Iraisedabrow.
“Well,sometimes,someoneontheoutsidelookingincanseethingsmoreclearly.”Sheclearedherthroatandtookasipofherjuice.“Ithinkyouhavealotoftraumafromfindingyourmamathewayyoudid.ButIthinktalkingtosomeonecouldreallyhelp.”
Irolledmyeyes.“Isn’tthatwhatwe’redoing?”
“Weare.AndI’lltalktoyouaboutitasoftenasyou’rewilling.ButI’mnotatrainedprofessional.SoIwouldn’tknowhowtohelpyouwiththenightmares,youknow?Andyoudeservetosleeppeacefullywithoutbeinghauntedbyamemory.”Hergazewasfilledwithsomuchempathyitmademychestsqueeze.
“Don’tpityme,Tink.”
“Iwouldneverpityyou.Youannoymefartoomuch.”Shechuckled.“I’mjustmentioningitbecausemymomisafabuloustherapist,andshe’shelpedalotofpeople.”
“Idon’tneedashrink.”
“JustFYI…ifyoutalktomymom,neversaythatword.It’satriggerforher.Shefindsitoffensive.She’satherapist,notashrink.SosheknowsthingsaboutthisthatyouandIwouldn’t.”
“Oryoucouldjustridemeagain,orsitonmyfaceandkeepmeawake,”Isaid,reachingforthelastpieceofbacononmyplate.
“I’dbehappytodoeither,”shesaid,hercheeksflushingpink,andIfuckinglovedit.
“I’llthinkabouttalkingtoyourmom,okay?”Iheldupmyhandswhenshestartedclappinglikeshe’dwonsomebigprize.“I’mnotmakinganypromises.”
“I’lltakeit.”
“So,whatdoyouwanttodotoday?”Iasked,becauseIhadheralltomyselfforafewdays.Itwasn’tlikewereallyhadtohideifwewentouttoeat,becausewediditoftenduringourworkdaystogetheralready.Wecouldmakeitlooklikewewerediscussingbusiness.OrwasIjusttryingtofindawaytomakewhatweweredoingokay?IfIwerecapableoftherealdeal,I’djustletitbeknownweweretogetherandtalktomygrandfather.She’dhavetochangejobpositions,obviously;itwouldbehighlyunprofessionaltobefuckingmyassistant.
WhichwasexactlywhatIwasdoing.
ButIwasn’tabouttoloseheratworkwhentherewasverylittlechancethiswouldlastpasttheweekend.
I’djustenjoythistimewithher.We’dbothbeovertheattractionbynextweek,andwe’dgobacktobusinessasusual.
“Let’sgocross-countryskiingtoday.Iknowagreattrail.”
“Cross-countryskiingissoboring,isn’tit?Whydon’twejustgodownhillskiing?”
“Itoldyou…Iexcelatuntraditionalsports.Isuckatdownhill.Ihatethechairlift.AndIdon’tlikegoingthatfast.”Sheshrugged,andshelookedsoinnocentandsweetassheconfessedherlackofskills.Itmademewanttobuildupherconfidence.
“Whatifwedoonedayofeach?Andwhenwegodownhillskiing,I’lltuckyouinfrontofmeandcontrolthespeed.”
“Wow.ThisislikefindingoutthattheTinManhasaheart.Lookatyou,softy.”
“WhatdidItellyouaboutcallingmesoft?”Isaid,rushingtomyfeetandpullingherfromthechair.Iflippedherovermyshoulder,andmyhandfoundherassasIjoggeddownthehallwaywithher.ShewaslaughinghystericallywhenIdroppedherontothebed.
Hereyesscannedmyjoggerstoseemyeagerdickpointingather.Hehadamindofhisown,andhehaditbadforGeorgiaReynolds.
“Well,clearly,softisnottherightwordforyou.Howaboutwetakecareofthatintheshowertogether?”
“Youwanttoshowerwithme,Tink?”Iasked,asImovedcloserandliftedherarmsbeforetuggingmysweateroverherheadandfindinghercompletelybarebeneath.
Shesuckedinabreathandnoddedbeforereachingforwardandpullingmyjoggersdownmylegsandthenpushingtoherfeetandslidingherhandsbeneathmyhoodie.
Thiswoman’stouchdidsomethingtome.ItmademefeelthingsI’dneverallowedmyselftofeel.
Ireachedforherhandandledherintothebathroombeforeturningontheshower.I’dnevershoweredwithawomanbefore.
Italwaysfelttoointimate.
ButIwasallaboutfirstswiththisgirl.
Shesteppedintotheoversizedwalk-inshowerfirst,herheadfellback,andshelaughedasthewatersprayeddownonhergorgeousface.
“What’ssofunny?”Iheldheragainstmybody,mythrobbingcockpokingatherlowerbelly.
“Ijustcan’tbelieveI’mshoweringwithmyboss.IguessI’vetakeninappropriatetoawholenewlevel.”
Ididn’tlikeherjokingaboutbeingunprofessional.Iwasherfuckingboss.Iwastheonewho’dcrossedtheline.ThetruthwasGeorgiawasoverqualifiedforthejobshe’dbeengiven.IshouldhavemovedhertoadifferentdepartmentafewweeksagowhenI’dstartedgivinghermanuscriptstoread.
“There’snothinginappropriateaboutyou,”Ihissed,tippingherchinupsohergazewouldmeetmine.
“Buckleup,Bossman.I’llshowyouinappropriate.”
AndbeforeIcouldprocesswhatwashappening,she’ddroppedtoherkneesandgrippedmydickbeforeguidingitbetweenherlips.
AndjustwhenIthoughtthingscouldn’tgetbetter,GeorgiaReynoldsgavemethebestblowjobofmylife.twenty-threeGeorgia
I’dneverbeenafanoftheblowjobbefore.I’davoideditatallcosts…butnottoday.I’denjoyedit,whichwashardtowrapmyheadaround.
I’dcometolearnoverthelasttwenty-fourhours,thatpleasingMaddoxLancasterwasacompleteturn-onforme.Thewayhe’dgroanedandthrustandcompletelycomeundone—itwasasighttosee.
Itmademefeelempoweredandsexyandwanted.
AndhereIstood,withthisbeautifulmanwhohadjustreturnedthefavorbydroppingtohiskneesandburyinghisheadbetweenmythighsuntilIcriedouthisnameandcouldbarelystand.He’dthenfolloweditupbywashingmyhair.
Nomanhadeverwashedmyhairbefore.
Hemassagedmyscalp,andIgroanedashecarefullyrinsedmyhair,makingsurethesoapdidn’tgointomyeyes.
Ilatheredupmyhandswithsoapandproceededtowashhisbodyashestoodtherewithhisarmscrossedoverhismuscularchest,watchingme.
Flingornofling,thissurpassedallexpectations.
Ifitendedtomorrowandnomanevertouchedmeagain,Iwouldnotcomplain
“Youkeepcoveringmycockinsuds,andI’llhaveyoudroptoyourkneessoIcanfuckthatsweetmouthofyoursagain.”Hisvoicewasgruff,eyeshoodedashewatchedme.
Ichuckledandrinsedoffmyhandsandturnedoffthewater.
Hewrappedatowelaroundmebeforedoingthesametohimself,andwespentthenextforty-fiveminutesgettingdressedandreadyfortheday.
Together.
Wetalked,andwelaughed,andhestayedinthebathroomafterhewasdone,watchingmeapplymymakeupandblow-drymyhair.
Andwewereoutthedoorshortlyafter.
Cross-countryskiing,herewecome.
***
“We’regoingtoofast!”Ishoutedasheguidedmedownthemountain.Hislegswereoneachsideofmine,hisarmswrappedaroundme,andifIwasn’twearingmywhiteskibibsandmatchingjacket,Iwouldfeeltheerectiondrivingintomylowerbackevenmore.
I’dinsistedwecovereveryinchofourfaces,justincasesomeonefromtheofficespottedusouthere.Cross-countryskiinghadbeenmucheasier,aswewerecompletelyalonealldayonthetrail.
Buttheresortsherewerebusy,sothiswastheplan.Andconsideringitwasfreezingoutside,beingbundledupwasn’taproblem.
“Stopwhining.We’rebarelymoving,”hegrumpedagainstmyear,whichwascoveredinmyfavoritewhitesnowhatwithanoversizedpom-pom.
We’dspentthelastfivenightstogetherathishouse.I’donlyleftoncetogolookatarentalhousethathadcomeonthemarketwhileMaddoxhadsomeworktocatchupon,andI’dstoppedbymyplacetograbmyskiclothes.
ThecrazythingwasIwasn’tboredorirritatedorreadytoleave.
Ikeptwaitingforhimtocallitdone,buthehadn’tyet.Andwehadn’tdiscussedit.We’dhadendlesssex,eateneverymealtogether,watchedatonofmovies,andhadourtwooutingstryingoutourskisonbothaflatsurfaceandalargemountain.
Wewouldbeheadingbacktotheofficesoon,andIdidn’tknowwhatthatmeant.We’djustgobacktobeingbossandemployee?
Thatwastheplan,andIwasn’tgoingtofightitbecausethisflinghaddoneworldsofgoodformyconfidence.InowknewwhatIwantedoutofarelationship,andIwouldnolongersettleforselfishassholeswhochasedtheirownpleasureorstolemycar.So,Iwouldn’tregretthis,evenifitwasshort-lived.
Evenifithurt,whichIknewitwould.
ButI’dkeepthatalltomyself.I’dmadethisdeal,andIwasgoingtoenjoyitwhileitlastedanddealwithrepercussionslater.
Maddoxhadn’thadanothernightmaresinceourfirstnighttogether,anditwasthefirstthingheaskedmeeverymorning.
Wecametoastopatthebottomofthemountain,andhemovedinfrontofme,pullingoffhisgoggles.
“Youdidbetterthattime,asidefromendlesslycomplainingaboutthespeed.”Hisdarkeyessearchedmygoggle-coveredgaze.
Ipoppedthemupslightlysohecouldseeme.“Good.Weneedtogetgoing.”
Iletmygogglesfallbackagainstmyface,andhechuckled.He’dlaughedmoreoverthelastfewdaysthanhehadinalltheweeksI’dknownhim.Andthatmademehappy.
Attheveryleast,wewerefriends.
Iwasjusttheonewho’dfalleninlovewithmyfriend.
Myunattainable,broody,grumpy,gorgeousfriend.
“Remember,ifmybrotherhitsonyou,youhavetobefirmwithhim.”Weunsnappedourskisanddroppedthemoffinthelodge,tradingoutourskibootsforourshoesbeforewemadeourwaytotheparkinglot.Hepulledthepassengerdooropenformeandhelpedmeinsidebeforereachingformyseatbeltandpullingitacrossmybodyandsnappingitintoplace.Ididn’ttrytostophim.I’dlearnedthatthesewerethewaysthatMaddoxshowedmehecared.Byworryingaboutmycarorbucklingmyseatbelt,givingmemoreorgasmsthananyonewomandeserved,orencouragingmetotrythingslikedownhillskiing,eventhoughIdidn’tenjoyit.Myhandswerefreezing,andhegotintothedriver’sseatandcrankeduptheheat.IusedmyteethtotugoffmygloveswhenIfeltmyphonevibrateinmypocket.
“Isn’tyourbrotherbringingadate?”
“Idon’tknow.Thedudeisverysecretive.”
“Hmmm…itmustruninthefamily.”IfoundmyphoneandthensquealedwhenIreadtheemailfromthepropertymanager.“Igotthehouse.Icanmoveinovertheweekend.I’llbeinmyownplacebeforewegobacktowork.”
Maddoxstaredstraightaheadasheturneddownthefinalstreetandthenintohislongdriveway.Oncehepulledintothegarage,heturnedoffthecarbutdidn’tsayanything.
“Hello?Didyouhearme?”
Heturnedtofaceme.Helooked…agitated.
Upset.
Disappointed,maybe?
WasIreadingintothings?
“Congratulations.I’mhappyforyou.”
“Youcan’tmusterupalittlemoreenthusiasm?”
“Ithoughtyouwerestayingwithmeuntilwewentbacktowork.WhatifIhavesomeonemoveyouinsoyoudon’thavetoleave?”
Myjawfellopen.Foraguywhoonlyhadflings,he’dsurprisedmemoretimesthanIcouldcount.He’dbeenattentiveandthoughtful,andwetalkedaboutthingsI’dnevertalkedaboutwithanymanbefore.
HewantedtoknowwhatIlikedinthebedroom—whichwasallthingsMaddoxLancaster.Whatmydreamswere.Whatmyfavoritesubjectinschoolwas.Favoritemovie.
Imean,Iwasn’taproatthiswholething,butI’dbeeninyearlongrelationshipsthatdidn’tgothisdeep.
“Idon’tevenreallyhaveanyfurniture,ifI’mbeinghonest.Sotherewon’tbealottomovein.I’vegotmydishesandmykitchenstuff,somecutedecorations,andthingstohangonthewall.Itwon’ttakelong.”
“Whatwillyousleepon?”
“I’llprobablygetmybedfrommyparents’house.”
“That’smadness,”hehissed.
Ituggedthegogglescompletelyoffmyheadnowthatwewereinthegarage.“It’snotmadness.Thisishownormalpeoplelive.Theysaveupandthenfurnishtheirnewplace.Thefirststepwasgettingthehouse.Thenextstepwillbefurnishingit.”
Hestudiedmeforalongmoment,ahabitIwasgrowingusedto.“Ihavesomethingsinstorage.Whydon’tIsendthemover?”
“Whatkindofthings?”Iraisedabrowbecausethishadcomeoutofleftfield.
“Abed.Acouch.Atableandchairs.Iwasn’tabletousethem.”
“Youweren’tabletousetheminyourmansion?”Ipressed.Thewholethingseemedsuspicious.
“Correct.Usabnormalpeoplesometimespurchasetoomanythings,andtheydon’tfit.”Hepushedoutofthecarandcamearoundtoopenmydoor,butIwasalreadyout.
“ItjustseemsoddthatyouhaveallthethingsthatIneed.”Ifollowedhiminside.
Hewhippedaround,andmychestslammedintohis.“IhaveextrafurniturethatI’mnotusing,Georgia.Andyouneedfurniture.Stopmakingthismoredifficultthanitneedstobe.”
“Fine.I’llpayyouforit,”Isaid,oureyeslockedononeanother.
Hegroaned.“Areyoureallygoingtomakemesayit?”
“Saywhat?”
“IhavemoremoneythanIknowwhattodowith.Idon’tneedyoutopaymeforfurniturethatI’mnotusinganyway.Isn’tthiswhatfriendsdo?”Hesmirked.
Myshouldersrelaxed.“Isuppose.So,wereallyarefriends,aren’twe?”
“Well,ifyouwereareallygoodfriend,you’dletmetakeyoutothebedroomandhavemywaywithyoubeforemybrothergetshere.”
“Icouldlivewiththat,”Isaidovermylaughter.
“Good.”Hekickedoffhisshoesandtossedhiscoatontothecouch.“Don’taskyourparentsforthebed.I’vegotone,andI’llgetitallmovedoverthere.”
“You’resosexywhenyoutalkaboutfurnitureandmoving,”Isaidoverafitofgiggles.Herushedmeandtossedmeoverhisshoulder.
“I’llshowyousexy,GeorgiaReynolds.”
Hecarriedmetohisbedroomanddroppedmeontothebed.Hebentdownandtuggedoffmybootsoneatatimeandtossedthemontothefloor.HepeeledoffeachitemofclothingthatIwore,oneatatime.
“Howmanypiecesofclothingcanonewomanpossiblywear?”hegrouched,andIlaughedandshookmyhead.
“Itwascoldoutthere.”
Oncehehadmecompletelybare,hestareddownatme.“Yeah?HowaboutIwarmyouup,baby?”
Mychestsqueezed.Ididn’tknowifitwasthewaythathewaslookingatme,orthathe’djustcalledmebaby.
Isuckedinabreathandnodded.Hetuggedhissweateroverhisheadandpushedhisjeansdown,alongwithhisbriefs.I’dnevertireofseeingthismannaked.
Hecrawledoverme,hismouthcrashingintomine.
Andthenhekissedhiswaydownmyneckandmychest.Hishandswereeverywhere.
“Iloveyourfuckingbodysomuch,Tink.Iwanttomarkyouasmineineveryway.”
Fling.Fling.Fling.
It’snotreal.
“Iwantyou,”Iwhispered.
Hesettledbetweenmythighsandlookedatmewiththemostmischievouslookonhisfacebeforeheburiedhimselfthere.Hetookhistime.Teasingandlickingandbringingmejusttotheedgeandthenpullingback.
“Please,Maddox.”
Hepausedandhisgazelockedwithmine.Hislipswereshinywithmydesire,andIsquirmedbeneathhim.Heslippedafingerinsideme,andthenanother,beforehismouthsealedovermyclit.
Andthatwasallittook.Iwentrightovertheedge,justlikeIalwaysdidwithhim.
Itriednottothinkaboutthefactthatitwouldallbeendingsoon.
Becauserightnow…thisfeltlikeforever.
BeforeIevencaughtmybreath,heglancedattheclockandremindedmethathisbrotherwouldbehereshortly.So,webothhurriedintothebathroomtotakeaquickshower,whereIdroppedtomykneesandreturnedthefavor.Thewaterfelldownhismuscledchestwhenhefoundhisreleaseandaferalsoundescapedhislips.ItwasthesexiestthingI’deverseen.
After,wedriedoffquickly,bothofusstillfloatingfromthehighwe’djustexperienced.
“AreyousureyouwantmeherewithWyle?”Iaskedaswehurriedouttothekitchenonceweweredressed.
“Yes.We’refriends.Whywouldn’tIwantyoutomeetmybrother?I’vemetyourfamily.”
Ishrugged.“That’strue.AndI’mlookingforwardtomeetinghim.”
Thedoorbellrang,andMaddoxpouredmeaglassofwineandthenmadehiswaytothedoor.
“Ithoughtyouwerebringingsomeone.”IheardMaddoxask,andavoicethatwasverysimilartohischuckled.
“Yeah.Thatdidn’tworkout.Shewasastage-fiveclinger.”Whentheycamearoundthecorner,WyleLancaster’sgazemovedtome.
HeresembledMaddoxwithhisdarkeyesandintensestare,buthishairwaslighter.Hewasmaybeaninchortwoshorterandnotasleanashisolderbrother.ButhewasfitandgorgeousanddefinitelyhadtheLancastergoodlooks.
“Whodowehavehere?”
“ItoldyouIwasinvitingafriend.ThisisGeorgiaReynolds.SheworksforLancasterPress.”Maddoxclearedhisthroatandmovedaroundthebartopourhisbrotheraglassofwine.
“Ahh…andwhatdoyoudoforthecompany,Georgia?”hepurred.Hedidn’thavehisbrother’sbroodydemeanor.Themanwasdefinitelyaflirt,andhereachedformyhandandkissedthebackofit.
BeforeIcouldrespond,Maddoxslappedhishandawayfromme,whichmadeusbothlaugh.“She’smyadministrativeassistant.Don’tbeinappropriate.”
Wylehadabiggrinonhisface,andhenodded.“Isee.You’rehisadmin,andyoueattogetherwhenyouaren’tworking?Isthatallowed?”
Well,he’djusthadhisheadburiedbetweenmylegsthirtyminutesago,soI’mguessingwe’vebrokenmultiplerules.
“Wewereworking.”Maddoxhandedhimtheglassofwineandthenlookedatme.“He’sjustfuckingwithme.Thisguyhasneverfollowedaruleinhislife.”
“Thisistrue.Butmybrothertendstosticktocertainrules.So,thisisanicesurprise.”Heclinkedhisglasswithminejustasthedoorbellrang.
“Ihatesurprises,”MaddoxsaidashemovedtowardthedoortogetwhatIassumedwasthedinnerthathe’dorderedforthethreeofus.
“So,whatrulesisitthatyourbrothersticksto?”Iasked.
“Well,Georgia,thismaysurpriseyou,butmybrotherwouldnormallynotbediningwithawomanheworkedwithwhentheofficewasclosed.”Hewinkedandleanedclosetome.“Norwouldheeverbringawomantoacasualdinnerwithhisbrother.Hetakesdatestoevents,nottodinnerathishome.Butthisisn’tanevent,isit?”
ItookasipofwinetothinkabouthowIwouldrespond.“Thisisn’tadate.We’rejustfriends.”
“Maddoxdoesn’thaveanyfemalefriends,unlessyoucountournewstepmother.”Heturnedwhenhisbrotherwalkedinbeforeglancingbackatmequickly,keepinghisvoicelow.“Ihaveahunchyou’respecial.”
WasIspecial?
WouldIbespecialnextweekwhenwereturnedtoournormallives?
Isurehopedso.twenty-fourMaddox
Whenthedeliveryarrivedathernewplace,herbrotherseyedthefurnitureandthensmirkedatme.Allthreeofthemwerethere.Herparentshadbeenthere.Hersisterwasthere.Hugh’sfiancéewasthere.
Theyallcameouttoseeherputherclothesinhercloset.
TheonlyonemissingwaslittleGracie,whowasonsomesortofplaydate,whateverthehellthatmeant.
GeorgiahadafewthingsthatwouldgoonthedeskthatI’dalsoliedandsaidthatIhad.
I’dorderedeverythingfromafurniturestoreinthecityaftershe’dtakenmeovertoseehernewplace,andI’dthenhadtohiremoverstobringitallhereandpretendthatitwascomingfromastoragelockerandnotdirectlyfromastore.
Becausethegirlwasproudandwantedtoproveshecoulddothingsonherown.
Butthetruthwas,shealreadyhad.
She’dbeenfarmorethananassistanttomeatthispoint,andnotbecauseIwasfuckingher,butbecauseshe’dworkedherassoff.
Iwascountingthisasabonusthatshe’dmorethanearnedfromherdiligentworkethic.
Hugh,Cage,andFinnstoodoutsidewithme,waitingforthefurnituretoarrive,becausetheythoughtthey’dhavetohelpmoveitin.
I’dbeensurroundedbytheReynoldsfamilyallday,andI’drepeatedmybullshitexcusethatI’djustbeenintheneighborhoodandwantedtoofferhelptomyassistantonhermove.
Herbrothersknewtherewassomethinggoingonbetweenus.She’dbeenstayingatmyplaceforaweek.Ididn’tthinkthatherparentsknewwhatwasgoingon,sothey’dbeenoverlygratefulthatIwassuchahands-onboss.
Theirwords,notmine.
ButIwasahands-onboss,wasn’tI?
Hell,I’dhadmyhandsalloverherjustafewhoursago.Tomorrow,wewereheadingbacktowork,sothiswasourlastnightdoingourso-calledfling.Andthewholethingseemedcrazynow.I’dmadeupallthesedamnrules,andnowIhadnointentionoffollowingthem
“Hmmm…arewesupposedtobelievethatthisstuffisused?”Hughsmirkedasheclappedmeontheshoulder.
Thetwoguysthathadjustarrivedstartedunloading,andIleanedclosetothem.“Youmadesureallthetagsandwrappingwasoffofeverythingalready,right?”
“Yep.Andwethrewawayalltheevidencelikeyouasked,”oneofthesmart-assessaid,andallthreeofGeorgia’sbrotherslaughed.
“It’snotevidence.It’strash.”Ishookmyhead.Morelaughter,asIwasobviouslycompletelycaughtatthispoint.Wewatchedastheystartedpullingeverythingoutofthetruck.Therewasacouch,coffeetable,desk,bed,dresser,anddiningtableandchairs.
GeorgiawasinsidethehousewithLilaandBrinkleyunloadingsomedishesanddécorthatshe’dbroughtfromherapartmentinthecity,whichhadapparentlycomefurnished.Herparentshadgonetothemarkettoloadherupwithgroceries.
“Prettyslick,dude.Isthispartoftheemployeebenefitspackage?”Cagesaid,andhebarkedoutalaugh.
“Shehasgoneaboveandbeyondatwork.She’sfarmorethananassistant,soit’smoreofabonus.”
“Ignorehim.He’sstillpissedbecausehegotwokenupinthemiddleofthenightbecauseMrs.Lamprosethoughtherturtlewasdying,”Finnsaidbeforecoveringhismouthtohidehislaughter.
“Thedamnthinghadthehiccups.Thesepeopleareinsane,”Cagehissed.“Whofuckingcallstheirvetinthemiddleofthenightaboutthehiccups?”
Ishrugged.“Ididn’tevenknowturtleswenttothedoctor.”
“It’scalledsmall-townmadness,”Hughsaid.“Thisisreallyniceofyou,brother.”
Inodded.“It’snotabigdeal.”
ThetwodudesfinishedunloadingjustasGeorgiawalkedoutwithLilaandBrinkleybehindher.
“Wow.Thiswasallinyourstorageshed?”Georgiaasked,assheranherfingersoverthewhitedresserandgapedatallthefurniture.“Itlooksbrand-new.”
“Mydecoratorover-ordered,soI’mgladwecanuseitsomewhere,”Isaid
BrinkleynarrowedhergazeatmeasGeorgiaandLilaranoverandploppeddownonthecouch,whichwassittinginthemiddleofthedriveway.
“Howyoudoing?”oneofthemoversaskedashemovedclosertoGeorgia.
Washefuckingkiddingme?
Hewashittingonmyfucking—friend
“She’sdoingfine,”Igrowled,whichonlyearnedmemorelaughs.ThefuckingReynoldsfamilyapparentlyfoundhumorineverything.“Andyoucangoaheadandstartcarryingitin.”
Andthenextfewhourswereabsolutemadness.
Herparentswerethere.Everyonewashelpingputthingsaway,herbrothersweremakingendlesssmart-asscommentseverytimetheywerealonewithmeinaroom,anditwasn’tahorribledaylikeI’dexpectedittobe.
Theywereallsayingtheirgoodbyes,andIwasreadytobealonewithher.Ineededtotalktoheraboutextendingour…situation.
We’dlosttoday,soaddingafewmoredayswasn’tgoingtohurtanything.
Weweregrown-ups,afterall.Wecouldbeprofessionalatwork.
“Ijustcan’tgetoverwhatagreatbossyouare,Maddox,”Bradfordsaidasheshookmyhand.
“I’mhisonlyfriendintown,Dad.Leavehimalone,”Georgiasaid,andshewincedatmeasifshewerenervousIwasbotheredbythecomment.
Iwasn’t.
IactuallywantedtotellhimIwasahellofalotmorethanherboss.ButwhenIfuckeditallupinafewdays,Iwouldn’twantherfamilyhatingme.
“Ofcourse.She’sdoingagreatjobatwork.Andshe’sright,she’sbeenreallyhelpfultomesinceImovedtotown.”
“I’llbetshehas,”Brinkleysaidunderherbreathasshestoodrightbehindme.
NextwasGeorgia’smom,whohuggedme,huggedherdaughter,andthenmadeherroundstoeveryonethere.
Itwasn’tevennormalhowlovingthesepeoplewere.Myfatherwasnormallyblackmailingustomakeusshowuptosomething.
Everyonewasmakingtheirwayoutthedoor,andIwasfascinatedbyhowlongthiswholedeparturetook.Shewasn’tleavingthecountry.Shewasonlymovingafewblocksaway.
ThelastpersonoutthedoorwasBrinkley,andshesmiledatmebutraisedabrowbeforeshespoke.“Thatwasreallynicethatyouhadallthatfurnituresittinginstorage.ThanksforhelpingoutGeorgie.”
“Ofcourse.Happytohelp.”
Shethenreacheduptohugmeandleanedclosetomyear.“Butifyouhurther,Iwillhuntyoudownandtortureyouslowly.”
Ididn’thidemysurpriseatherwords,butthenherheadfellbackinlaughter.“Youaretooeasy,Bossman.I’mkidding.”
“What’sgoingonoverhere?”Georgiaaskedasshecamebackinsidefromwalkingherparentsout.
Brinkleypointedtwofingersathereyesandthenbackatme.“Heknowswhat’sgoingon.”
Morelaughter.
Icouldn’tkeepupwithallthewarningsandjokes.
“Loveyou.I’llseeyoutomorrow,”Georgiasaid.“Thanksforhelping.”
Brinkleywavedatbothofusandwalkedoutthedoor.
Andwewerealone.
“So,yousurvivedafulldaywiththeReynoldses.”Sheshrugged.“Ididn’tthinkyouweregoingtostaythewholetime.”
“Well,Ineededtobehereforthefurniture.Makesureitallgotdeliveredcorrectly.”AndIwantedtobewithher,ascrazyasthatsounded.
“Thanksforeverything.IfeelbadthatIruinedourlastnight.ThattookalotlongerthanIthoughtitwould.”
Imovedtothecouchandsatdown.Herbrothershadhungphotosandartonthewalls,andtheplacelookedlikeshe’dlivedthereformonths.TheReynoldsfamilywasasimpressiveasanexpensivedecoratorwithateamofprofessionalsworkingforthem.
“Aboutthat…Iwantedtodiscusssomeoptions,”Isaidasshewalkedoverandsatbesideme.
“Whatkindofoptions?”
“Well,seeingaswelostourlastday,Iwouldn’tmindlengtheningtheagreementifyouwereopentoit.Itmightbeawkwardbeingatworkwithmebossingyouaround,though.”
Shethrewherheadbackinafull-bodiedlaugh.“Youcouldtrynotbossingmearound,seeingasIamprettydamngoodatmyjob.ButIwouldbeopentotheextensionoption.”
“Yeah?”Iasked,andI’dbeafuckingturtlewiththehiccupsifmychestdidn’tsqueezewithexcitement.
Shemovedsoquicklyshecaughtmeoffguard.Shewasonmylapandstraddlingme,onehandoneachsideofmyface.“I’mnotboredwithyoujustyet,Bossman.”
“Areyoureallygoingtomakemesleepheretonight?”
“Didyouseethatfree-standingclawfoottubinmybathroom?”
“Idon’ttakebaths.”
“Youalsodon’tsleepinbedwiththewomenyouhavesexwith,andwechangedthat,didn’twe?Takeabathwithme.”Sheputherhandstogetherlikeshewaspraying.
Istudiedherprettyface.Herhairwastiedbackintwobraidsthatfelloverhershoulders,andsheworeapairofdenimoverallswithahoodedsweaterbeneathit.AndallfuckingdayIthoughtaboutunhookingthosebucklesanddraggingherintothebathroom.
“I’llmakeadealwithyou,”shesaid.
“Letmehearit.”
“Iknowyoudon’thaveclotheshere.Andthebedisn’tmadeyet.Sohowaboutwesoakinthatcutetubtogether,becausethat’ssomethingI’veneverdonewithamanandIdon’tthinkyouhaveeither,soitwouldbeanotherfirstforbothofus.Andthenwe’lldryoff,andI’llpackupsomeworkclothesandsleepatyourhouse.Butaftertonight,wetaketurnsateachother’shouseuntilthisarrangementisover.Fairisfair.”
Thiswasherargumentwithcross-countryskiing,whichwasafairlymiserablesport,ifIwerebeinghonest.Itwasslow,andtherewasnoexcitement,butthefactthatshe’dpackedlunchforusandletmefollowbehindherandwatchhercuteassmaneuverthroughthetrailmadeittolerable.
“Fine.Deal.”Ipushedtomyfeet,andherlegswrappedaroundmywaistaswemovedthroughhertiny,littleone-bedroomhouse.Itwascute,anditfeltlikeGeorgia,andIdidn’tactuallymindbeinghereatall.
Becauseapparently,Ilikedbeingwherevershewas.
AndthatwassomethingIcouldn’twrapmyheadaround.Isetheronherfeet,andherphonebuzzed,andshepulleditfromherbackpocket.
“It’satextfromyourbrother.Hesaidyouaren’tansweringyourphone.”
“Isthatbastardstilltextingyou?He’ssofuckingneedylately,”Ihissed.SheandWylehadhititoff,whichwasnosurprisebecausehelikedeveryone,andshewasoneofthemostlikablepeopleI’deverknown.
He’dpulledmetothesideafterourdinnerandtoldmenottofuckitup.I’dremindedhimwewerejustfriends,buthesawrightthroughit.
AndGeorgiahadtakenusallaroundtownthefollowingday,showinghimaround.Shedidn’tmakeusweardisguisesorstayincognitobecauseshesaidhavingmybrotheralongwithuschangedthedynamic,andnoonewouldbetalkingaboutit.
WylehadgonebacktoNewYork,butwe’dhadagoodvisit.
Icheckedmyphoneandsawallthescreenshotsofthestorybreakingaboutourfathermarryinghisbestfriend’sdaughter.Andthefactthattheywereexpectingababywasapparentlythebigstoryoftheday.
Itextedhimbackandtoldhimitwouldeventuallyblowover.
ButafterseeinghownormalGeorgia’sfamilywasandthenreadingthisshitaboutmyfather,itirritatedme.
“Hey.Whathappened?Where’dyougo?”SheturnedoffthewaterinthetubonceitwasfullandreachedforthehemofmysweaterbeforetuggingitupuntilIhelpedherpullitovermyhead
“ThatstorybrokeaboutmydadandClaire.Itwillprobablybethetalkoftheofficeforawhile.”Ireachedforheroverallsandunbuckledthem.ThedenimfelltothefloorinaheapbeforeItuggedherhoodieoverherhead.
ShelookedupatmeasIreachedaroundherandunhookedherbra.“Heiswhoheis,Maddox.Thathasnothingtodowithyouandwhoyouare.Tuneoutallthenoise.”
“AndhowdoyourecommendIdothat,Tink?”Inippedathermouth.
“Youmakepeacewithit.Youhavenocontroloverhimorhischoices,soyoucan’tbeheldaccountableforthem.You’reagoodman,MaddoxLancaster.That’sallthatmatters.”
Goddamn,shewassweet.
“Yousoundlikeatherapist.”
“Meh.Theappleneverfallsfarfromthetree.Now,dropyourpantsandgetinthetub,Bossman.”
Ilaughed.Hell,I’dneverlaughedmorethanIhavesinceI’dmether.
So,Ididwhatshesaid,andIclimbedintothetubthatlookedlikeitwasolderthandirt.
Andthensheslippedinaftermeandsettledbetweenmylegs.
Andforthefirsttimeinmylife,Ididn’tmindtakingabathatall.
BecauseIdidn’tmindanythingaslongasshewaswithme.twenty-fiveGeorgia
We’dbeenbackattheofficefortwoweeks,andI’djustbeenbumpedfromthetopoftheping-pongchampionshipbyCraiginmarketing,andIgroanedwhenIsetmypaddledownindefeat.Theguyhadapparentlybeenpracticingwhilewe’dbeenoffworkforthatweekafterChristmas,andI’dbeentoobusyboningBossmantothinkaboutping-pong.
EveryonewasclappingmeonthebackandtellingmeI’dgetbackupthereagain,andIalmostfeltbadforCraigthatnooneseemedthrilledbyhiswin.
“Goodgame.Yousmokedme,”Isaid,smilingupathimwhenhesethispaddledownandcametomysideofthetable.
“So,Iwonthegame,butcanIwinthegirl?”Hewaggledhisbrows.
What?Wheredidthatcomefrom?
Ilaughednervously.Sure,Craighadflirtedwithmeafewtimes,butnothingextreme.“Ithinkmovingyournametothetopofthewhiteboardisabigenoughwinfortheday,right?”
Hemovedcloser.“I’mserious,Georgia.I’vebeensneakingoutonmybreaksandmakingFreddyplaywithmeeverydayjusttoimpressyou.”
Damn.I’dbeenmuchhappierwhenIwassittinginthetopspot.Beatingmedidnotmakemewanttodatehim;itmademewanttogetbetterandbeathim.
“Well,Iamimpressedwithyourping-pongskills,Craig,”Isaid,takingastepbackuntilmybutthittheedgeofthetable.
“Isthattheonlythingyou’reimpressedwith?”hepurredandcrowdedmeonceagain.Iwasn’tlovingthissideofCraig.NorwasIimpressedwithhislackofabilitytoreadtheroom.
“Ithinkyou’reagreatguy,butI’mseeingsomeone.”WasIseeingsomeone?Imean,Iwasinthemidstoftheworld’slongestflingthathadbeenextendedmultipletimes.Butwhatwerewe?Weweren’tanythingofficial.
Butitfeltlike…everything.
HowsadwasitthatthebestrelationshipI’deverhadwasn’tevenanactualrelationship?Itwasasecret.
Adeliciouslydirtylittlesecret.
“Really?Itseemslikeyou’realwaysatwork.Ididn’tthinkyouwouldhavetimeforaboyfriend.”
Wow.Waytoanalyzemylifewithabsolutelynoknowledgeorfacts.Weliterallyspenttwentyminutesadaytogetherinagroupwhileplayingping-pong.
Notetoself…Craigwasabitjudgy.Ithinkhisping-pongsuccesswasalreadygoingtohishead.
“It’snotserious,butwearen’tseeingotherpeople.”
“Well,whatifItoldyouIwasaseriousguy?”
“Iwouldthankyouforthatinformation.”Ishrugged.Whatthehellwasgoingon?
“Whenyournot-seriousrelationshipimplodes,I’llbehere,Georgia.”
Hewassointense.Heappearedtobeaguywhowasmaybethreeminutesawayfromgrabbingaboomboxandrestingitonhisshoulderandserenadingme.
Thishadcomeoutofleftfield.
“Georgia,”adeepvoicebarkedfrombehindme.IwhippedaroundtoseeMaddoxstandingthere,lookingbroodyasalways,andIdidn’tmissthewaytheveinsinhisneckwerebulgingandhishandswerefistedathissides.“Lunchisover.Myoffice.Now.”
Hello,Bossman.
Ilikedseeinghimallworkedup.
Craigjuststoodthere,andIhadnochoicebuttoputmyhandsonhischestandpushhimbackgentlyatfirst,andthenharderwhenIrealizedhewasn’tbudging.
“Excuseme.”Islippedbetweenhimandtheping-pongtableandmademywaytowardthestairs,wheremyever-angryboss-slash-loverglaredpastmeatthemanwho’djustaskedmeout.
Ihurriedupthestairsandintohisoffice,andhewashotonmyheelsbeforeslammingthedoorandfacingme.
“Whatthefuckwasthat?”
“Whatdoyoumean?”
“WithAnus-hole,”hegrowled,movingclosertomeashishandswrappedaroundmywrists.
“Anus-hole?”
“Thatasshole,Craig.That’shislastname.”
Laughterbellowedfrommybelly,andmyentirebodyshook.“HisnameisCraigAnistilo.”
“Samething.Whatthefuckwasthatabout?”
“Heaskedmeout.Itwasnotabigdeal.”
“Andwhatdidyousay?”Hetightenedhisgriponme,pullingmeagainsthisbody.
“Isaidno.ItoldhimthatIwasseeingsomeone,butitwasn’tserious.”
Hisgazesoftened,andhereleasedmywrists.“He’sfuckingfired.”
“What?”Igapedandshookmyhead.“Youcan’tfirehim.”
“Isureasfuckcan.Iownthecompany.Heshouldn’tbeaskingoutcoworkers.It’sunprofessional.”
“That’srich,seeingasyou’refuckingyourassistant,”Ihuffedandmarchedtowardthedoor.
Hewasfast.Hemovedaroundmeandstoodagainstthedoor.“IsthatwhatI’mdoing?Fuckingmyassistant?Spendingeverydaywithher,everynight?Talking,laughing,takingfuckingbubblebaths?Ithinkit’sabitmorethanthat,yeah?”
“Don’tplaythevictimcard.Theballhasbeeninyourcourttheentiretime.You’retheonewhowantstokeepitcasual,notme.”Myvisionblurredasmyeyeswatered,andalumpformedinmythroat.
Hishandmovedtomyneck,hisfingersrestingonmycheek.“Idon’twanttokeepitcasual.Iwantyou,GeorgiaReynolds.Idon’twantsomedumbfuckaskingyououtattheoffice.Iwanteveryonetoknowthatyou’remine.Becauseyouare,andwebothknowit.”
“Icanlivewiththat,”Isaidasatearrolleddownmycheek,andhisthumbswipeditaway.“So,whatareyougoingtodoaboutit?”
“Well,you’refired,forstarters.”Heletmegoandmovedtowardhisdesk,backinbusinessmode.
“What?You’refiringme?”
“Ican’tbefuckingmyassistant,Tink.”
Ishookmyheadindisbelief.“Butyouownthecompany.”
“It’sstillinappropriate.”Hepickeduphisphoneanddialed.“Hi,Virginia.Putoutanadforanewfront-deskreceptionist.”Icouldhearhertalkingfranticallyinthebackground,andheheldthephoneawayfromhisfaceandrolledhiseyes.“No.Youaren’tfired.You’remynewadmin.”Moreshoutingashepulledthereceiverawayagainandwinkedatme,likehehadn’tjustfiredmeandleftmehanging.“She’snotfired,either.She’sbeenpromotedtocreativedirector.Sendoutanofficeemail,please,andleteveryoneknowaboutthechanges.Andalso,makeitknownthatthenewcreativedirectorandIaredating,aswell.Yourfirsttaskasmyadministospreadtheword.AndmakesureCraigisaware.”
Iheardhersquealingbeforeheslammedthereceiverdownandlookedupatme.
“I’mthecreativedirector?Doweneedtorunthisbyanyonefirst?”
“I’dalreadygottenitapprovedthismorningbytheboard.That’swhatIwascomingtotellyouwhenIfoundthatdickfuckerhittingonyou.”
“Whatdoesthisnewpositionentail?”
“You’regoingtodoexactlywhatyou’vebeendoing,minusthemonotonousstuff.You’llgiveinputwithcoverdesigns,continuereadingmanuscripts,givefeedbackonblurbs,andhelpmefindnewtalent.”
“WillIstillbepickingupyourdrycleaningandbringingyoucoffee?”Iraisedabrowandmovedclosertohim,comingaroundhisdesk.
“I’mnotlettingVirginiatouchmyclothing.Shespilledcoffeealloverthefrontdesktwicethisweekalready.So,yes.Ifyou’rewillingtohandlemydrycleaning,I’dappreciateit.Andthecoffee…”
IrestedmyhandsonhisshouldersasonelegcamearoundeachsideofhimsoIwasstraddlinghim.“Whataboutthecoffee?”
“Imean,noonemakesitasgoodasyou.”
“Youjustwanttofindareasontokeepmecominginhereforyou.”
“Iwanttofindareasontokeepyoucoming,GeorgiaReynolds.”Hislipsmovedtomyneck,andIfelthimhardenbeneathme.
“Ithoughtyoudidn’tdorelationships,Bossman,”Iwhispered,andmyvoicewashoarseandfilledwithdesire.
“That’sbeforeIstarteddoingyou.AndnowIcan’tgetenough.”Hekissedalongmythroatanddowntomycollarbone.“Iwanttotakeyoutodinnerandskidownamountainwithoutwearingenoughgeartosuffocatemyself.Iwanteveryonetoknowthatwe’retogether.”
“Mrs.Runitherwillbesodisappointed,”Igroanedashenibbledmyearlobe.“Shekeepsaskingmeaboutyou.”
Hisheadshotupwithconcernashisgazelockedwithmine.“ShepunchedmeinthedickyesterdaywhenIwenttopickupthatto-goorderforus.”
Awidegrinspreadacrossmyface.“Didshe?”
“Ithinkshewastryingtoslylygrazemygoods,butshestumbledandliterallyjunk-punchedme.Imean,thewomanisoldenoughtobemygrandmother.Whothefuckdoesthat?”
“She’sadirtyoldbird.”Ilaughed.“Youdidn’tmentionitwhenyougothomelastnight.”
Hesighed,asoftnessfillinghisdarkgaze.“BecauseImissedyou,andwhenIgothome,allIwantedtodowasfeedyou,getyounaked,andthensitwithyouunderthestars.”
“Webarelyate.”
“Exactly.”Hesmirkedbeforehisfaceturnedserious.“ThisisnotsomethingI’veeverdonebefore,Tink.I’mmostlikelygoingtofuckitup.”
“Well,yousuckedatthefling.Imean,obviously,itwasmyfirst,buteveryday,youwereaskingforanextension,”Iteased,grindingupagainsthiserection.HishandsgrippedmyhipsasIcontinuedtalking.“Maybeyou’llbebetteratthis.”
Hegroaned.“Standup.”
Ipoutedbutdidwhathecommanded.
“Bendovermydesk,Tink.Iwanttocelebrateyourpromotion.”Hetuggedupmyskirtandthenreachedintohiswalletandpulledoutacondom,tearingthetopoffwithhisteethashequicklycoveredhimself.Hishandslandedonmyass,andhesqueezed.“Doyouwantmetofuckyouinthisofficeonelasttimeasmyassistant?”
Inodded,desirepoolingbetweenmylegs.Hepulledmylacethongtothesideandswipedbetweenmyfoldsbeforemoaningagainstmyear.“Alwayssowetforme.”
“Always,”Iwhispered.
Heteasedmyentrancebeforeturningmyheadsohecouldkissme.Iwiggledagainsthim,eagerforhimtogivemewhatIneeded.Andwithonequickthrust,hepushedinsideme.Iusedmyhandtocovermymouthtomufflethenoisesthatwereescaping.
Itwasn’tourfirsttimehavingsexinthisoffice.Butitwasthefirsttimethatithadhappenedinthemiddleofthedaywithpeoplehere.
Butitwasalsothefirsttimethatithadhappenedwiththemanwhowasnowofficiallymyboyfriend.
Igrippedtheedgeofthedeskasdesirebuilt.
Hishandcamearoundmywaist,droppinglowerandtouchingmeexactlywhereIneededhimto.
HealwaysknewwhatIneeded.
“Fuck,”hehissedinmyear.“Sofuckinggood.”
“Yes,”Iwhispered,butIcouldn’tholdonanylonger.“Maddox.”
“Comeforme,baby,”hesaid,hisvoicelowanddemanding.
AndthatwasexactlywhatIdid.
Andnothinghadeverfeltbetter.
BecauseIwasundeniablyinlovewiththisman.twenty-sixMaddox
Relationshipswereunderrated.I’dbeenmissingout.Itwouldn’thavematteredbecausetherewasn’tanyoneintheworldthatIwouldhavewantedtodothiswithbeforenow.Lifehadawayofworkingout.Ofgivingyouwhatyouneeded.
AndIneededGeorgiaReynolds.
We’dbeenofficiallydatingfortwoweeksnow,andIhadnocomplaints.I’dalwaysfeltsuffocatedbythewomenI’dspenttimewithinthepast.Afewdateshadalwaysbeenenough.
Butmyappetiteforthiswomanwasinsatiable.
AndtodaywasproofofhowcrazyIwasaboutherbecauseI’dagreedtocometoHughReynolds’housetonightforapokergamethathewashosting.
Thiswasnottypicallymything.
Iwasn’tbigonguys’nightsorsmalltalk.
ButhangingoutwithGeorgia’sbrothersandtheirfriendswasnotasbadasI’dexpectedittobe.GeorgiaandIhadgonetodinnerwithherparentstwice,andI’devenbeentotwofamilydinnerssincewe’dmadeitofficial.Buthersiblingshadjustlaughedbecause,apparently,they’dknownweweretogetherbeforewe’deveradmittedit.
Iwasseatedaroundanoval-shapedpokertablecoveredingreenfelt.IsatbetweenHugh’sbestfriends,BraxandTravis.Finnwasacrossfromme,sittingbetweenHughandCage.We’dfinishedplayingandwerejustdrinkingandshootingtheshitnow,andTraviswasbitchingaboutFinntakingeveryone’smoney.
“Youtakeourmoneyandhavethenervetostareatyourphonethewholenight?”Travisgrumped.
Thedudemademeseemlikearayofsunshine.TraviswasalsoLila’sbrother,andhewasaself-proclaimedmoodybastard.Butheblameditonthefactthathisnewbabyboydidnotsleepmuch
“It’sReese,”Finnsaidashetypedintohisphone.“Wehaven’ttalkedmuchbecauseshe’sinadifferenttimezone.”
Ihadnoideawhatweweretalkingabout,andHughpickeduponit.“ReeseisFinn’sbestfriend.She’salsomymom’sbestfriend’sdaughter,andweallgrewuptogether.She’sbeeninLondonthepastsixmonths,andtheycan’tgoverylongwithouttalking.”
“They’reliketwofuckingschoolgirls.Whydon’tyoujustdateheralready?”Cagesaidoverhislaughter,andFinn’sheadshotupwithadeathglare.Imaynothaveknownthemlong,butIcouldrecognizewhensomeonehadcrossedtheline,andCagedefinitelyhad.
“It’sfuckingReese,asshole.She’smybestfriend.Andifyourecall,shewasengagedtosomeone.”
“Wasbeingthepointofmyquestion.Sheisn’tengagednow,”Cagesaidashereachedforhisbeerandtookapull.
Finnflippedhimthebirdandignoredhimashecontinuedtexting.
“He’dneverriskfuckingthatup,”Hughfinallysaid,reachingforsomepizzarollsinthemiddleofthetableandpoppingthemintohismouth.
“So,howaboutyou?”Braxasked,turninghisattentiontome.“YouandGeorgieareathing,right?Howdoesthatworkattheoffice?”
Itworksfuckinggreat.Wespenteverywakingminutetogether.Wehadsexatworkandathome.ButIobviouslywouldn’tbesharingthat.
“She’snotmyassistantanymore.She’sthecreativedirector,andshe’skickingassatwork.So,itworksjustfine.”
“Heknowshe’llbehunteddownandtorturedslowlyifhehurtsher,”Cagesaidashewinkedatme.
“I’mnotafraidofyouassholes.ButBrinkleyterrifiestheshitoutofme.EverytimeIseeher,shewhisperssomekindofthreatinmyear,butthenfollowsitwithafriendlygoodbye.”
Hughhadjusttakenalongpullfromhisbottle,andhecoughedsohard,Cagepoundedonhisback.
“I’mfine.”Hebarkedoutalaugh.“FuckingBrinks.She’sthemostterrifyingReynoldsoutthere.Georgiaisallsunshineandunicorns.ButBrinkley,man,shedoesn’tplayaround.Justdon’tfuckitup.”Hughsmirked.
“Trustme,there’saverygoodchanceI’llfuckitup.Thisisnewforme,”Iadmitted,becausetheywereallgooddudes.
“Listen,ifthesetwocanpullitoff,you’llbefine.”TravisflickedhisthumbatHughandBrax.
“Whenyouknow,youknow,”Hughsaid.“Man,didIgethithardwhenLilacamehomelastsummer.”
“HewassopussywhippedoverLila.Isawitlongbeforeanyofthesefuckersdid,”Braxsaid.
“DonotusethewordpussyandmysisterinthesamesentencewhenI’msittinghere.Idonotwanttohearthat.Andspeakingofpussy-whippedmotherfuckers,takealookinthemirror,dickhead.”
Theywentontotellmehowhe’dfallenhardforhisgirlfriendFrannie,andnow,theywereinseparable.Theywerelivingtogether,andhewasthinkingofproposingsoon.
Mystomachwrenched.Ididn’thaveafuckingcluewhatIwasdoing,butIknewIwascrazyabouther.
Ihadn’ttoldherthatIlovedher,whichwascowardly.BecauseIdid.ButIknewonceIsaidthewords,therewouldbenogoingback.
“Hey,don’toverthinkit.Everyonegoesattheirownpace.Ifoughtiteverystepoftheway,”Hughsaidashestudiedme.
“Thingsaregoingwell.”
“Youdoingsomethingspecialforherbirthday?”Cageasked.“Thegirllovesherbirthday.Shecelebratesitallmonth,sogetreadyforallthebirthdaytalk.”
Mychestsqueezed.Ididn’tknowwhenherbirthdaywas.We’dtalkedaboutsomuch,butthathadnevercomeup.Ishouldhavecheckedherfuckingpaperworkfromheremploymentfile.ThisistheshitIshouldknow.
Iclearedmythroat.“When’sherbirthday?Shehasn’ttalkedaboutit.”
Finnbarkedoutalaughwhenhesethisphonedown.“Hermiddlenameoughttogiveyouagoodhint.GeorganaValentineReynolds.”
“HerbirthdayisonfuckingValentine’sDay?”Iasked.Ofcourse,itwas.Itwassohertohaveaholidayforabirthday.
Everyonelaughed.
“Itsureis,”Cagesaid,shakinghishead.
“Youlookstressed.Don’tworryaboutit;it’snotfortwoweeks.You’vegottimetoplansomething.”
Inodded.“Butitshouldbegood,right?It’snotonlyherbirthday,butit’sValentine’sDay.Thisissomethingpeopleinrelationshipscelebratetheshitoutof.Fuck.Icouldtakeheronatrip?”Ithoughtitover.She’dmentionedwantingtogotoParissomeday.ButthenIrememberedwhatthefifteenthwas.“Shit.Thatwon’twork.Georgiahasaclientflyinginthenextday.It’sanauthorsheloves,andshethinksweshouldsignher.Butthewomanhasatightschedule,andthatwastheonlytimeshecouldmakeittoCottonwoodCove.Tink’srealexcitedaboutit,soIcan’taskhertomoveit.”
“Tink?”Travisraisedabrowandchuckled.
Fuck.HadIsaiditaloud?
“Saysthedudewhocallshiswife,shmoopie.”Hughgavehimshitandthenglancedbackatme.
“Youdon’tneedtotakeheranywhere.She’sallaboutsentiment.Hell,Lila’sfavoriteplaceisthecove.It’sourspot.Youfindaspecialplaceandbringsomefood.Somewine.Someflowers.”Hughshrugged.
“Whowouldhaveeverguessedyou’dbesuchasappybastard?”Cagesaid.“ButIagreewithhim.Womenlovethatromanticshit.AndGeorgieisprettytender-hearted.She’lleatitup.”
We’dgosomewhereoutsidesowecouldsitunderthestars.ThatmuchIknew.Butwedidn’treallyhaveaplaceoutsideofmybackyard.
“Whataboutthatbigpondwheresheusedtoskateallthetime?”Finnasked.“You’dhavetodriveupthemountainabit,butnoone’severoutthere.It’sprettydeadoverthere,sothatcouldwork.Georgieusedtomakemegowithherallthetimesoshecouldshowmehowgoodshewasonskates.”
“She’smentionedthatplace.Shelikesitthere,huh?Iguessit’sbetterthancross-countryskiing.”Ishrugged.
“I’mgladshehasyounowbecausethelasttimeshetookmecross-countryskiing,wewereoutthereforsevenhours.Ifrozemyassoff,”Hughsaid.
Ilaughed.“Ihearyou.Itwasalongday.Andboringashell.Butseeingherskatesoundsahellofalotbetter.AndthepondwillstillbefrozeninFebruary?”
Theyalllaughednow.
“WelcometoCottonwoodCove,brother.Itwon’tstarttowarmupuntiltheendofMarch,”Braxsaidoveramouthfulofpizzarolls.
Okay,soIhadaplan.I’dtakeheratnight.Underthestars.Apicnic.I’dbuyhersomenewskates.Maybedriveupearlierinthedayandsetthingsup.Icoulddothis.
MaybeIwasn’tsobadatthisboyfriendshit.
Iwasn’tdreadingit.Iwaslookingforwardtosurprisingher.
“You’vegotthis,”Finnsaid,holdinghisbottleupincheers.“Andshe’sgoingtothecitywithyouthisweekendforthereceptionforyourdadandhisnewwife,right?”
Mychestsqueezed.Iwasdreadinganeveningwithmydadandmychildhoodfriendwhowasnowknockedupwithhischildandtiedtohimforlife.Theywerethrowingareceptionatthehotel—apartyafterthevowssortofthing.Itwasforthepublicsincethey’dbeenrampantinthepress.Mygrandfatherthoughtitwouldbebesttoshowaunitedfrontofsupportforthenewlyweds.
“Yep.We’llgofortheweekend.”Iclearedmythroat.
“Relax,brother.Georgialoveseveryone,”Hughsaid.
Ididn’tdoubtthatforaminute.She’dseethegoodinhim.Iwaslookingforwardtohermeetingmygrandmother,andIknewshelovedmygrandfatherandWyle.ButIdidn’tliketheideaofmyfatherbeingaroundGeorgia.
NordidIliketheideaofthepressfindingoutweweretogetherandwhatthatwouldmeanforher.
I’dalwayskeptmyprivatelifeprivate,butthatwaseasybecauseIdidn’thaveanythingIcaredaboutbeforenow.
She’dbephotographedaswe’dalreadyagreedtoaredcarpetandgivingthemediaabitofashow.I’dbeenphotographedwithwomenbefore.ButIwasn’tdatingthem.Andoncetheyrealizedweworkedtogetherandshewasspendingtheweekendwithme,itwouldbenewsforahotminute.
AndIworriedthatmightfreakherout.
“Yeah.It’llbegood,”Isaid.
Hopefully,shewouldn’trunforthehillsafteraweekendwiththeLancasters.
***
We’dtakenthehelicoptertothecityafterwork,andwe’dbeenatthehotelforanhour.Weweregettingchangedforthereceptionnow,andIpouredmyselfagenerousglassofwhiskeyasIsatonthebed.Georgiahadgonewithhersistertofindadressafewdaysearlier,backinCottonwoodCove,andshehadn’tshownittomeyet.She’dshooedmeoutofthebathroomsoshecouldchange,andshewantedtosurpriseme.
Theeventwasblacktie,andIwaswearingatailoredblacktux.
Myphonevibrated,andIglanceddowntoseeamessagefrommybrother.
Wyle
Mydateisalreadyannoyingme.
Shocker.Whoisshe?
Wyle
RememberBrandy,thatgirlIwenttoprepschoolwith?Shestilllivesinthecity,andshereachedoutandofferedtobemyplusone.
Thegirlwhostalkedyourightbeforeyouleftforcollege?
Wyle
Stalkedisabitstrong.
Ithoughtyoufiledarestrainingorder.
Wyle
Iwasinhighschool.Iwasbeingdramatic.I’vecometolearnthatshe’sjustpassionate.
Whyissheannoyingyounowifshe’ssospectacular?
Wyle
Becauseshewon’tstoptakingselfiesofusandpostingthem.AndyouknowhowIfeelaboutbeingphotographed.She’ssomesortofinfluencer.
Goodluckwiththat,brother.Seeyoudownstairsintwentyminutes.
ThebathroomdoorswungopenandoutwalkedthemostbeautifulwomanI’deverlaideyeson.Thathadalreadybeenestablished,butthis—thiswasnextlevel.
Sheworeablackvelvetstraplessgownthathuggedhercurvesinalltherightplaces.Therewasaslitrunningupherleg,exposingherthighandmakingitsoshecouldstillwalkinthegown.Nude,sexy-as-hellheelswerestrappedaroundherdelicateankles,andshestoppedinfrontofme.Herhairwasslickedbackinaneleganttwistatthenapeofherneck,andittookeverythingIhadnottopressherupagainstthewallandpushintoherrighthere,rightnow.
Imovedtostand,myhandsfindinghersasourfingersintertwined.“You’resofuckingbeautiful.”
“Youlookprettygoodyourself,Bossman,”shewhispered.
“Yousureyou’reokaywithallofthistonight?Youknowthepressisgettingaphoto,andyourfaceisgoingtobeallovertheinternettomorrow.”
Shesmiledandliftedoneshoulderasshetippedherheadtotheside.“Iwanttobewithyou.So,ifthisispartofyourlife,thenitwillbepartofmine.”
Soloyal.
Sohonest.
Sowillingtogiveherselftome.
Sayit,dickhead.Stopbeingafuckingpussy.
Myhandcamearoundthesideofherneck,fingerssplayedacrosshergorgeouscheek.“Ineedtotellyousomething.”
Athickballlodgedinmythroat,makingitdifficulttospeak.NotbecauseIwasn’tfeelingit—itwastheexactopposite.
Ifeltitall.
Itwastoomuchinamillionways,yetIonlywantedmore,whichmadenosense.
Lovingsomeonewasnotinmyplans.
ButIwasintoodeep.Therewasnoturningback.
“Tellme,”shesaid.Shedidn’thideherconcernasshesearchedmygaze.“Areyouokay?Youcantellmeanything.”
ThiswaswhatIwastalkingabout.
Therewasnoturningback.
“I—”Ipausedtoclearmythroat.“Iloveyou,Georgia.”
I’dneversaidthosewordstoanywomanasidefrommymotherandgrandmother.AndnowI’dsaidthem,andIdidn’thavetheurgetorun.ButmyheartracedasifI’dcrossedsomeimaginarylinethathadmademevulnerableinaway.
Ididn’tmindit,though.
IwantedhertoknowhowIfelt.
NeededhertoknowhowIfelt.
Shesuckedinabreath,hermouthfallingintoaperfectO.AsifsheneverthoughtI’dsaythosewords.
NeitherdidI.Buthereweare.
“I’velovedyouforalongtimenow.”Sheblinkedafewtimesastwotearsslippeddownhercheek.Iranthepadofmythumboverhertearsandswipedthemaway.
“Me,too.Itjusttookmeawhiletogethere.”
“Itdoesn’tmatterhowwegothere.We’reherenow,andthat’sallthatmatters,”shewhispered.
Shewasright.
Nowwejustneededtofindournewnormaltogether.
IjusthopedafteranightwiththeLancasters,shewouldn’tberunningforthedoor.twenty-sevenGeorgia
MaddoxLancasterlovedme.
I’dknownitforawhilenow,butIneverthoughthe’dactuallyadmitit.
Ifeltiteverytimehelookedatme.Everytimehekissedme.
Hewasn’tamanwhotossedthosewordsaroundcasually.
Andhe’dtakenthatriskforme.
I’dhadafewguysI’ddatedbeforetellmetheylovedme,butitneverfeltlikethis.
ItwasthelookinMaddox’seyeswhenhe’dpledgedhislovetomethatfeltlikemyworldhadshiftedinaway.
Likenothingwouldeverbethesameagain.
Hell,whenDikotahadtoldmehelovedme,itwasoverabowloframennoodles,andhiseyeshadn’tlefttheTVscreen.ItwassortoflikeanIloveyou,canyoupassthesaltmoment.
I’dknownitwasn’tforever.
Nothinghadeverfeltlikeforeverbeforethismoment.
So,IwasgoingtoenjoyitbecauseIknewwhatwesharedwasrare.IknewthatMaddoxdidn’ttakethesewordslightly,andhewasamanwhomeantwhathesaid.
Helovedme.
Therewasnoquestion,andI’dneverexperiencedthatbeforenowoutsideofmyfamily.
Butthenhisphonerangacoupledozentimes,andhecursedwhenherealizedtheywerewaitingforusdownstairs,andwehadtohurryoutthedoor.
IknewthatMaddoxwasconcernedthiswouldoverwhelmme,butitdidn’t.Ijustfoundthewholethingodd,butIwaschannelingmyinnerroyaltonightandgoingwiththeflow.
“Onemore,”theguyintheflannelshirtwho’dbeenshoutingendlessquestionsatussaid,ashejoggedalongtheredcarpet,followingustotheendbeforewe’dsteppedinsidethehotel.
Wasitweirdashellthatwewerestayingatthishotel,andwehadtomakeourwayoutsidetowalktheredcarpetandreenterthehotel?
Yes.Notthebestuseoftime,butIguessthiswasmoreaboutappearancestonight,andeveryoneinthefamilyneededtobeseensupportingDavisandClaire’snuptials.
Ihadn’tevenmetthemyet,aswe’dbeenusheredoutthebackdoorofthehotelwherewe’dslippedintoafancyblackcar,andI’drequestedbeerinmychampagneflutebecauseIdidn’twanttogettootipsyonthebubblystuffbeforeImethisfamily.We’dsippedourcocktailsandpulledbackinfrontofthehotel,whereMaddoxproceededtogetoutofthecarandassistedmeandmygorgeousblackdressout,aswell.
Wewalked.Wesmiled.Therewereacoupleofphotographersouttheretakingpicturesandshoutingquestions.Lightflashesmadeitdifficulttosee,butIjustblinkedinbetweenstopswhenwe’dwalkandtrytorefocus.
Maddoxleanedinmultipletimesandremindedmenottorespondtotheirincessantquestions.
He’dalsodistractedmebywhisperingnaughtythingsinmyeartheentirewalkfromthecartothehotel.
“Ican’twaittogetyoubacktotheroomsoIcanslipmyhandsbeneathyourdress,slideyourpantiesover,andfuckyousenseless.”
“Ihavetokeepmyjacketbuttonedsotheywon’tseehowhardandswollenmycockisrightnowatjustthesightofyouinthisdress.”
I’dchuckledandtriedtoplayitoff,squeezinghishandinwarning,asdesirepooledbetweenmythighs.
Afterthelastphotowastaken,myhandsomedatehelduphishand.“That’sthelastone.”
“Mr.Lancaster,isthislovelyladyjustafriend,orisshesomeonespecial?”theeagerphotographershouted.
Maddoxpausedandglancedoveratme.Icouldseehiswheelsturning,tryingtodecidehowhewantedtohandlethings.“Thislovelyladyismygirlfriend,andshe’smostdefinitelysomeonespecial.”
“Howlonghaveyoutwobeentogether?”someoneshouted.
“Whoisshe?”anothermancalledout.
Maddoxintertwinedourfingersandlookedoveronelasttime.“Yougotyourstory.That’sallIhavetosayaboutit.Goodnight.”
Andthenheledmeinside.
Onceweenteredthelobby,therewassecurityeverywhere.Atleast,Iassumedthatwaswhotheywerebecausetheywerewearingblacksuitsandappearedtobespeakingintosomesortofearpieceastheireyesscannedtheareaaroundus.
Oneofthemenapproached.“Maddox,you’relookingwell.”
“Thankyou,Jared.Thisismygirlfriend,GeorgiaReynolds.”
Thesuitguynodded.“Nicetomeetyou.I’llescortyoubothtothebanquetroom.”
Theywereobviouslymonitoringwhocameinandoutofthelobby.Aswefollowedhimdownthehallway,Iglancedovertoseeanothermaninasuitfollowingbehindus.
Sheesh.Thiswasseriousbusiness.
“Thisonlyhappenswhenthereisabigevent.You’vebeentothishotelbeforewithme,andsecuritywasn’tnecessary.”Maddoxkepthisvoicelow,asifhewereconcernedthatthiswastoomuchforme.
“I’mnotfreakedoutbythis.Jaredseemsverynice.”Ishrugged,andthelargemanleadingustothepartychuckled.
“It’sherfirstfamilyevent,”Maddoxsaid,hishandtighteningaroundmine.
“Welcometothefamily.”Jaredpausedinfrontofadoorandheldouthishandforustostepinside.
Maddoxleaneddownclosetomyear.“Youreadyforthis?”
“Ofcourse.Stopworrying.Sofar,sogood,Bossman.”
Hekissedmyforeheadandpulledthedooropen.Myjawdropped,andtheextravaganceoftheroomnearlystolemybreath.Thereweremultiplecrystalchandeliersoverhead,alivebandplayingjazzmusic,andthereweretableswithwhitelinensandchairsaroundeachone.Thiswasn’talargeparty.Itwasintimate,yettherewasdefinitelysomethingveryformalaboutit.Startingwiththewayweenteredtheeventtothefactthattherewereseveralsecurityguardsstandinginthecornersoftheroomhere,aswell.
“Aboutdamntime,”Wylesaidasheglaredathisbrotherbeforesmilingatme.“Youlookbeautiful,Georgia.”
“Thankyou.Youlookveryhandsomeinyourtails.”
Thewomanbesidehimclearedherthroat,waitingforanintroduction.Sheworeabody-hugginglong,reddresswithcutoutsthatleftverylittletotheimagination.Butshepulleditoff,andgravitywasdefinitelyonherside.Shehadsomegiantknockers,andtheylookedliketheywerestandingtallandproudwithoutanysupportfromthegown.
“Sorry.ThisisBrandy.Brandy,youremembermybrother,Maddox.Andthisishisgirlfriend,GeorgiaReynolds.”
“Oh,my.You’realuckywomantolandoneoftheLancasterboys,huh?”BeforeIcouldrespond,shewhippedaround,herbackknockingmeinthechest,andsheheldherphoneaboveherheadandtookaphotoofus.“ShouldItagyou?”
“Um.Sure?”Ishookmyhead,startledbyhergreeting.
“What’syourusername?”sheaskedasshequicklytypedintoherphone.
“It’sjustGeorgiaReynolds.”IglanceduptoseeMaddoxshootinghisbrotheralook,andhedidn’thidehisannoyance.
“We’regoingtogogetadrink,”Maddoxsaid,tuggingmeawayfromBrandy,andWylefrowned,clearlynotwantingustoleavehimalonewithher.
“Thereheis.Yousurelooksharptonight,son.”AmanwhowasthesameheightasMaddox,butbuiltmorelikeWyle,stoodinfrontofusandshookmyboyfriend’shand.Hehaddark,familiareyes,thesameashisson’s.Hishairwasdark,withgraymixedin,anditworkedforhim.ButIcouldn’timaginemyfathershakingourhands.Thewholeexchangewasveryformalandcold.Itwasn’thardtoseethattheyweren’tclose.Theybehavedmorelikeacquaintances.Therewasabeautifulwomanbesidehimwholookedtobeaboutmyage,maybeafewyearsolder,andIassumedshethatmustbehisnewwife.
“Congratulations,Dad.ThisisGeorgiaReynolds.Georgia,thisismyfather,DavisReynolds,andhiswife,Claire.”I’dheardallthedetailsaboutherbeinghisbestfriend’sdaughterandachildhoodfriendofMaddoxandWyle’s.Iknewthatthiswasuncomfortableforthemtowraptheirheadsaround.Especiallywithalltheangeraroundthewayhe’dtreatedtheirmothertowardtheendofherlife.
“Georgia,it’sapleasuretomeetyou.Myfathersangyourpraises.Hetellsmeyou’vegotquiteaneyeinthepublishingworldandhavebroughtonafewnewauthorsatLancasterPress.”Heshookmyhand,aswell.“You’veobviouslybeenbusy,seeingasyoustartedashispersonalassistant,andnow,you’rehereashisdate.Theappledoesn’tfallfarfromthetree,doesit,Maddox?”
Hiswordsstartledmebecausehewassmilingandlaughing,yethe’djustinsultedme.Maddox’sentirebodystiffenedbesideme,andIcouldfeeltheangerradiatingfromhisshoulders.
“Davis,that’snotfunny.”Hiswifegavemeanapologeticlook.“Heythere,I’mClaire.Hisbetterhalf,obviously.”ShehadagenuinesmileandgavemeandMaddoxeachahug.
“I’msorryifthatcameoffharsh.Imeantnooffense.It’stheLancastersenseofhumor.”Davispattedmeontheshoulder,andMaddox’sgazemovedfrommetohisfather.
“It’snot.It’sjustyoursenseofhumor,whichisinteresting,seeingasyou’recelebratingyournuptialstoyourbestfriend’sdaughter,whoishalfyourage.”
Isqueezedhishandandsmiled.“Youdon’tneedtoapologize.I’maluckygirl,noquestion.Youhaveanamazingson,andI’mgladI’mnottheonlyonewhoseesit.Congratulationstoyouboth.I’msohappytobeheretocelebrateyourspecialday.”
“Thankyou,Georgia.Itmeansalottousthatyou’rebothhere.Iknowit’sabitstrangeforyou,Maddox,andIamsorryaboutthat.”Shelookedfrommetothebroodingmanbesideme,andhisshouldersrelaxedabit.
“It’sfine.Haveagoodnight.I’mgoingtogointroduceGeorgiatoGrandmother.”
Withacurtnod,Maddoxledmeaway.Igaveaquickwaveandhurriedtokeepup.
“Let’sgetadrinkfirst,”hesaid.“Icoulduseone.”
“Hey.”Ituggedonhishandtoforcehimtofaceme.“I’mnotupset.Thisisactuallyfunforme.I’veneverbeentoapartylikethis,andI’mhavingagoodtimebecauseI’mwithyou.Yourfatherdidnotoffendme.It’snotmyfirstrodeowiththebackhandedcompliment.Icanhandlemyself,sopleasestopworrying.”
“He’ssuchafuckinghypocrite,”hehissed.“Idon’tevenlikehimbeingaroundyou.”
“He’syourfather.Yourentirefamilyishere,andI’mlookingforwardtomeetingeveryone.Let’sgetthatdrinkandthengofindyourgrandparents.”
Hisfacerelaxed,hiseyessoftened,andhenodded.“Alwaysthelittlefairy,spreadingallthatgoodness,Tink.”
Ipusheduponmytiptoesandgavehimachastekissonthelipsjustasaserverapproached.“WhatcanIgetyoubothfromthebar?”
“Awhiskeystraightupforme,andtheladywillhavewhateverthebestbeeryouhaveis.Pouritintoawineglass,please.”
Thewomansmiledandnodded.“I’llfindyouwithyourdrinks.”
“Bossman,thefactthatyoujustorderedmeabeerinawineglassatthisfancypartymeansyou’renotnearlyasstuffyasIgiveyoucreditfor.”
Herolledhiseyes.“Keepupthatsmartmouth,andI’llshowyouhowstuffyIamwhenIburymyfacebetweenyourthighsandmakeyoucomesomany—”
“Maddox.It’sbeenwaytoolong.Introduceustoyourspecialfriend.”
Hedidn’tmissabeat.ThemancouldgofromdirtytalktosmalltalkfasterthanmostpeoplecouldchangeaTVchannel.
“John,it’sgoodtoseeyouhere.Thisismygirlfriend,GeorgiaReynolds.Georgia,theseareClaire’sparents,JohnandBevStrauss.Theywerealsoveryclosefriendsofmymother’s.”
“It’ssolovelytomeetyou,Georgia.We’veknownthishandsomeguysincehewasindiapers,”Bevsaid.
“It’sapleasuretomeetyou.I’msureyou’vegotsomegoodstories.”Ichuckled.“Congratulationsonyourdaughter’smarriageandthenewbaby.”
“Well,obviously,hermarryingoneofourbestfriendswasabitofasurpriseatfirst,butattheendoftheday,she’shappy.Andthat’sallthatmatters,”shesaid.
“Youwereallrightwiththis?”MaddoxkepthisvoicelowashestudiedJohn.
“WhathaveIbeentellingyoutheselastfewyears,Maddox?”HepausedtosiphischampagnejustastheserverfoundusandhandedMaddoxandmeeachourdrinks.Shewinkedatmewhensheglancedatthebeerinthewineglass,andIsmiled.
“Yeah,yeah.Lifeisallaboutforgiveness,”Maddoxgroaned.“Noteverythingisforgivable,John.”
“Agreed.AndtrustmewhenItellyouthatwedidn’tspeaktoyourfatherforsometimeallthoseyearsagowhenhewasactinglikeafoolwhileyourmotherwassick.Youknowthat.Andwedidn’tspeaktohimforweeksafterClairetoldusabouttheirrelationship.Butcuttingthemoffhurtsus,nothim.He’salwaysbeenaselfishman,Maddox.There’snoargumentthere.Buthe’snotthedevilthatyouthinkheis.HedoesloveyouandWyle,andIdobelievethathelovesourdaughter.Shecertainlyseemstolovehim.Weraisedhertobeastrongwoman,andweneedtotrustthatsheknowswhatshe’sdoing.”
Maddoxsippedhiswhiskeyandcontemplatedtheolderman’swords.“Ihopeyou’rerightaboutthat.AndIcertainlyhopehedoesbetterbyherthanhedidbymymother.”
“Thethingthatyoudidn’tseewastheyearsthatyourfathergrievedforyourmother,bothwhileshewassickandafterherpassing.YouandWyleweresoangrythatIdon’tthinkyouwereabletoseeit.Youblamedhim,andIdounderstandyourangeraboutwhathappened.But,Maddox,ALSisahorribleillness,andthat’swhattookherlife.Andcarryingallthisangeraroundisnotgoodforyou.”HeplacedahandonMaddox’sshoulder.
“Well,thankyoufortheinsight.Idoappreciateit,andIwillkeepitinmind.Buttonightisacelebration,solet’sfocusonthat,shallwe?”Maddoxtippedhisglassandthenpulledittohislips.
“Icouldnotagreemore,”Bevsaid,blinkinghereyesafewtimesastheywerewetwithemotion,andshelookedoverandsmiledatme.
“Allright.Nicetoseeyouboth.We’regoingtogosayhellotomygrandparents.Ifyou’llexcuseus.”
Wesaidourgoodbyesandwalkedafewfeetawaytowherehisgrandparentswerestandingandchattingwithanothercouple.
Whentheyturnedtolookatus,theyexcusedthemselves,andalltheirattentionwassuddenlyonme.twenty-eightMaddox
We’dbeenstandinghereforalmosthalfanhour,withmygrandparentsgushingoverGeorgia.Theylovedher.Iwasn’tsurprised.Shewasabreathoffreshair,especiallyamongstthisstuffygroup.
Shelaughedandtalkedwithherhandsflailing,andeveryoneinhervicinitywasdrawntoher.
Shewassunshineandgoodness.
SomethingIneverthoughtIdeserved
ButbeingthegreedybastardIwas,I’dtakentheleapwithher.
Andeverythingwaschanging.
Beingatmyfather’sreceptionwouldnormallybetortureforme,butIwashavingagoodtime.I’dreplayedJohn’swordsoverafewtimesinmyheadasIwatchedmygirlfriendandgrandmothertalkabouteverythingfromholidaygiftwraptotheirfavoriteflower.
“ALSisanillness,andthat’swhattookherlife.Andcarryingallthisangeraroundisnotgoodforyou.”
Therewasalotoftruthtoboth.WhatIcouldn’tgetpastwasthatshesufferedthroughthisbrutalillnesswithoutthemanthatshelovedbyherside.Thatwasalmostaspainfulasthephysicalpainthatshesuffered.Iresentedmyfatherforthat.AndIdidn’tknowhowtogetpastit.
Aftermylastnightmareafewdaysago,I’dagreedtogotalktoGeorgia’smother.ItwentagainsteverythingIbelievedin.
Ididn’tlikeaskingforhelp.Ihadfiguredmyownshitoutformostofmylife,andgoingagainstthatfeltunnatural.
IwasdatingGeorgia.Havinghermomasmytherapistseemed…wrong?But,apparently,thereisnowrongwaytoaskforhelp,accordingtotheballofsunshineIwasdating.
I’dtalkedaboutmymotherwithGeorgia,whichwasnotsomethingInormallydid.ButnowI’dbeinvitinganotherpersonintomytragicmemory,andIwasn’tsurehowIfeltaboutit.
“It’stimetotakeyourseats.Dinnerisabouttobeserved,”thewomanwhohadbeenbringingusourcocktailssaid,assheandafewotherserversusheredustoourassignedseats.
Wewereattheheadtablewithmygrandparents,Wyle,andBrandy,whohadtriedtotakeaselfiewithmeafewminutesago,andI’dshutthatshitdownbycoveringherphonewithmyhugehand.Thiswasn’tamediashow.We’dagreedtothephotooutfront,andthatwaswherethebuckstopped,asfarasIwasconcerned.Wylehadfinallyreachedforherphoneinfrustrationanddroppeditintohiscoatpocket,andshenoddedandapologized.
MyfatherandClairewereatourtable,aswell,andsowereherparents.
Wetookourseats,WyleandIeachsittingoneithersideofmyfather.Georgiawasthestaroftheparty,andIsatbackandchuckledasshetalkednonstoptoeveryoneatthetablelikeshe’dknownthemherwholelife.
Ithitmeinthatmomentthatmymotherwasverysimilar.Sheneverfitinattheseevents.Shewasdown-to-earthandfun,andpeopleweredrawntoherinthesameway.
Georgiahadeverythingundercontrol,andI’dbeenworriedfornoreasonatall.
Evenmyfather’sassholejokedidn’tcausehertomissabeat.Sheknewwhoshewas,andnooneelse’sopinionplayedapartinthat.
BecausetheworldwasGeorgiaReynolds’fuckingoyster.Shedidn’tcareaboutmoneyorexpensivethings;shewasjustcomfortableinherownskin.
Maybethatwaswhathaddrawnmetoher.
Therewasalightness,apeace,andaneasethatsurroundedmewhenIwaswithher.
LikeI’dfinallyfoundwhereIbelongedafterfeelingmisplacedforsolongsincemymother’spassing.
GeorgiaReynoldsfeltlikehome.
AndIfuckinglovedit.
Weate.
Wedrank.
Welaughed.
AndwhenGeorgiagotthebandtoplaysomeofhercrazy-assseventiessongs,shedraggedmeouttothedancefloor
Ithoughtmybrotherwasgoingtolosehisshitbecausehelaughedsohardatthesight.
Iwasthebroodybastardatfamilyevents—nottheguyhavingagoodtimeanddancingathisfather’sweddingreception.
LookslikeGeorgiaReynoldsjustgotherselfanotherfirst.
***
We’dbeenbackfromourweekendinthecityforacoupledays,andtheinternethadbeenfloodedwithphotosthedayaftermyfather’sweddingreception.MeadmittingthatIhadagirlfriendpubliclyforthefirsttimehadbeenabiggerstorythanmyfather’scelebrationwithhisnew,muchyoungerwife.
AndGeorgiahadn’tbeentheslightestbitfazedbyit.Shedidn’treadwhatwasbeingposted,andshelaugheditoffwhenpeopleintownwerecallingheracelebrity.
Shewasoneoftherarewomenwhocouldhandlethiswithoutbeingaffectedinanyway,shape,orform.
Herbrothershadsaidtheywerehavingaguys’nightthedayafterwereturned,butinstead,they’dtakenmeouttothepondwhereI’dbesurprisingheronherbirthday.Ahotelinthecitywouldhavebeenmypick,butthiswasGeorgia,andsittingoutsideinthefreezingcold,eatingribsandcakewithherputtinganice-skatingshowonformewasmuchmoreherspeed.So,I’dbeenorderingallsortsofstufftomakeitspecialforher.Ihadtwoguysthatwouldgooutthereearlyandgetthingssetupforus,andwhenweshowedup,theplacewouldlightuplikethefuckingFourthofJuly.
“I’mheadingouttomymeeting,”Isaid,pausinginthedoorwayasshestaredathercomputermonitor.GeorgiawasstillworkingfromherdeskwhileIinterviewedafewpeopleforVirginia’sposition.Weweretransitioningeveryonetotheirnewjobtitles,butGeorgiawascoveringthetasksasmyassistantaswellasthatofthenewcreativedirector.
Therehadbeenzerocommentsaboutherpromotionandthefactthatshewasdatingtheboss.Becauseeveryonehereknewhowhardsheworked,andtheyalsoprobablyknewI’dfiretheirassiftheysaidoneunkindwordabouther.
Shechuckled.“TellmymomIsaidhi.”
Iheldmyfingertomylips.ThelastthingIneededwasforeveryoneintheofficetofindoutIwasgoingtotherapy.ButI’dmadethispromisetoherthatI’dgoonce,andIwasamanofmyword,evenifI’dmopedallmorningaboutit.
“I’llbeback.”Ileanedoverherdesk.“TellfuckingCraigtostopvolunteeringtochallengeyouatping-pong.Helost.It’sover,”Ihissed.Yeah,mygirlhadreturnedfromourtripandsmokedhisass,andIlovedwatchingeveryminuteofit.Thedudehadspenthisvacationtimeplayingping-pongsothathecouldbeather,justsohecouldaskherout.Nowshewasbackatthetop,andheneededtosithisassdown.
“Maybeyoushouldmentionthishostilityyouhaveaboutsomeonechallengingmeatping-pongtomymother.”Sheraisedabrow.
Iwrappedahandaroundthebackofherneckandkissedherhardbeforeleaving.
Alana’sofficewasn’tfarfrommine,butitwascoldashelloutside,soIdrovethere.Ihurriedinsidejustasthesnowstartedcomingdownagain.ThatwasonethingIhadn’tfullygottenusedtoyet.Thebone-chillingcoldshowednosignofgoingawayanytimesoon
Ijoggedinsideandupthestairsandknockedonherdoor.Shepulleditopenandgavemeahug.
AlanaReynoldswasthatstorybookkindofmother.ShemadeSundaydinnersandgotexcitedaboutbuyingherchildrenthoughtfulpresentsandgenuinelylovedeachoneofthem.Itwasimpossibletomisswhenyouwereattheirhouse.BothsheandBradfordwereasgoodasitgets.
ThatwaswhyIwassurprisedthey’dwarmeduptome.
Iwasn’ttheeasiesttolove.Ittookmeawhiletowarmuptopeople.
Itusuallytookmealifetimetotrust.
Alanaguidedmetothecouchacrossfromherchair,anditwasexactlyhowI’dseenthisplayoutinmovies.MybrotherhadgonetotherapyafterMomwasgone,permygrandmother’sinsistence.Buthenevertalkedaboutit,justlikeInevertalkedaboutthenightmares.Webothalwaysshruggeditoffandsaidwewerefine.
“IsthisnormalthatI’mcomingtoyouwhenI’mdatingyourdaughter?”Iasked,sittingforwardonthecouchandfoldingmyhandstogetherwheretheyrestedonmyknees.
“Well,letmeaskyouthis.Ifyourgirlfriend’smotherwasn’tatherapist,wouldyoubegoingatall?”
Ithoughtoverthequestion.“No.”
“Iguesswehaveouranswer,then.Thisissomethingthatcanhelp,andifthisistheonlywaytogetyouhere,I’dcallitawin.”Shesmiled,herblondehair,thesamecolorasGeorgia’s,restedonhershoulders.“It’scertainlynotabnormaltome.Andeverythingwetalkaboutwillstayrighthereinthisoffice,okay?”
Inodded.Andwespentthenextfortyminutesdissectingmychildhood,myrelationshipwithmyparents,andthehorriblenightthatIfoundmymother.Ineverexpectedtogothisdeepsoquickly,butherewewere.
Divingintoabigpileoftraumatichorseshit.
“So,youwereangrywithyourfatherbeforeyourmother’spassing?”sheasked,black-rimmedglassesrestingonhernoseandeyesfilledwithempathy.
“Fu—sorry.Yes.”
“Maddox,Ihavefivechildren.Youarefreetospeakhoweveryouwanttospeakinhere.There’snojudgment.Thesearesensitivetopics,sodon’tcensoryourselfonmyaccount.”
“Okay.”Ishrugged.“Fuck,yes.He’dbeencaughthavingaffairsnumeroustimeswhileshewassick.Hewasn’tsly.Hewassloppy.Andthoughtless.Hehurtherterribly,andIfuckinghatehimforthat.”
“Icanimagine.ItwasabetrayaltoyouandWyle,too.Andseeingyourmotherhurtisnoteasyonachild,especiallywhilewatchingherbattleahorribledisease.”Shepausedandtappedherpenagainstherlips.“Wasthereevertalkofherenteringafacilitytowardtheend?Itseemslikeaverytraumaticthingfortwoteenageboystobedealingwithwhenyourfatherwasn’tpresenttosupportyou.”
Iscrubbedahanddownmyface.Thiswasnotmyfavoritetopic.“Shewasn’tparticularlykeenonleavingourhouse,andwiththeresourceswehad,shewasabletohavethebestcaremoneycouldbuy.ButIalsothinkmyfatherplayedaroleinthatdecision,fromwhatIoverheardonce.”
“Whatdidyouhear?”sheasked.
“Iheardthemarguingafewmonthsbeforeshediedwhenhe’dgracedusallwithhispresenceandthenvisiblywincedwhenhesawhowmuchshe’ddeterioratedsincehe’dlastseenher.Theywerearguing,andshesaidshedidn’twantustoseeherlikethisanylonger.Ithinksheknewshewasattheend,butshealsowanteduswithheratthesametime,ifthatmakessense?”
“Itdoes.Shewantedeverylastminutewithyou.Icanunderstandthat.Yetherneedtoprotectyouhadherdiscussingotheroptions?”
“Yes.Shementionedgoingtoahospital,butmyfatherdidn’tlikethatoptionbecauseitwouldmakethingsmorepublic.Shewasveryhiddenawayatourhome,aswasherillness.Ithinkifpeopleknewhowbadithadgotten,theywouldn’thavebeentookeenonseeingmyfatheroutthereflauntinghisaffairsandattendingeventsseveraldaysaweekwhilehiswifewasathomefightingforherlife.”
“So,hehiredthebestnursesandhadyouandWyletherewithheruntiltheend.Itsoundslikeitwashiswayofgivingherwhatshewanted,aslongasitdidn’tinvolvehimselfbeingthere.”
“Correct.”Iclearedmythroat.Thelumpformingtherewasmakingitdifficulttotalk.I’dneverthoughtaboutitthatway.
“Haveyoueveraskedyourfatherwhyhewasn’taround?”
“We’vearguedaboutitmanytimes.Thebottomlineis,he’sselfish.Hedidn’twanttobetheretoseeherdeteriorate.Herillnesswasamassiveinconvenienceinhislife.Andonceshegotsick,hehadnouseforher.”
Shenodded.“Doyouholdhimresponsibleforherdeath?”
“Inaway,yes.Ibelievehecontributedtohersuffering,attheveryleast,”
Isaid,movingtomyfeetbecauseIwasantsy.Iwalkedtowardthewindowandstaredoutsideatthefallingsnow.Carsweredrivingslowly,andthegrassyareanexttoherofficewascoveredinfreshwhitesnow.
“HealsoleftyouandWyletodealwithitall.Doyouresenthimforthat?”
Iletoutalongbreath.“No.I’mgratefulIwaswithhertilltheend.”
“Butalotofthatresponsibilityfellonyourshoulders,right?YoutriedtoshieldWylethebestyoucould,andyoucarriedallofthatweight.Nottypicalforahighschoolkid.”
“Wehadgoodnurses.Istillhadmyfairshareoffuninhighschool.Theillnesstookherfairlyquickly,andthingsdidn’tgetreallybaduntiltheveryend.So,Iwasfine.”
“Butyouwereachild.Andseeingyourmothertakeherlastbreathwastraumatic,amIright?Youweretheonlyonethereatthatmoment.”
“Sure.”Iturnedaroundtofaceher,myhandsshovedinmypockets.
“Ithinkallofthattraumaandallthisangertowardyourfatherisfesteringinsideyou,andthat’sthereasonforthenightmares.Butasyoutalkaboutitmoreandletgo,youwillbeabletomoveforward.Butyouhavetoletgoofsomeofthis,Maddox.”
“So,Ishouldjustforgivemyfatherforwhathedidtoher?Andthenwecanallliveahappylife?”MytonehadmorebitethanImeantitto.Butwhydidhejustgetapassfromeveryone?Afterwhathe’ddone,hedidn’tdeservethat.
“That’snotwhatI’msuggesting,Maddox.”Sheraisedabrow,andImademywaybacktothecouch,sittingbackdowntofaceher.
“Okay,let’shearit.”
Herlipsturneduptheslightestbitinthecorners,andhereyeswerefullofempathyasshewatchedme.“Ithinkweneedtotalkaboutyouranger,andthenputitintherightplace.Doesthatmakesense?”
Iscrubbedahanddownmyface.Iwasfuckingexhaustedfromthisconversation.Ididn’tlikediggingallthisshitup.“Notreally.”
“Fairenough.”Shechuckled.“So,yourmom’sdiseasetookherlife,correct?”
“Yes.”Iwastryingnottobarkather,butthequestionswerefrustratingme.
“So,wecanhateALSfortakingabeautifulwoman’slifefartooearly.It’sfairtobeangryabout.”
“Agreed.”
“Andwecanbedisappointedinyourfatherforbeingacrappyhusbandandacrappyfatherwhenallthreeofyouneededhimmost.”
Inarrowedmygaze.“It’swhathedidtomymotherthatangersme.Idon’tcareaboutthatman.”
“Isthattrue,Maddox?Wouldyoustillbeattendinghisreceptionandgoingtofamilyeventsifyoudidn’tcareabouthimatall?”
“Idon’thaveachoice.He’sfamily.”
“Youalwayshaveachoice.”SheheldherhandupwhenIopenedmymouthtospewsomethingangry.“WhatI’msayingis,yourfatherletyoudown.Heletyourmotherdown.Heletyourbrotherdown.Butheisn’tresponsibleforyourmother’sdeath.Hewasn’tthereforher,orforyou,butheisn’tthereasonthatshe’snothere.AndIthinkyou’remixingupthosefeelingsandholdinghimresponsibleforherdeath.Butthetruthisthatevenifhehadbeenadecenthusbandandagoodman,shestillwouldn’tbeheretoday.Isn’tthatright?”
Ileanedbackagainstthecouch,lettingmyheadtipsoIwaslookingupattheceiling.“That’strue.Butitdidn’thelpherwhenshewassuffering.”
“Agreed.Butyousaidthatyourmotherneversaidabadwordabouthim,right?Shelovedhimevendespitehisbetrayal.”
“Becauseshewasagoodfuckinghuman,”Ihissed.“Andhe’snot.”
“Andthatstinks,becauseyouhadaparentwhoalwaysputyoufirst,andshe’snothere.AndIthinkyou’reangryathimfornotonlythewayhetreatedyourmother,butforthewayhe’streatedyouandWyle.Imean,youstayed.Youweretherewithher.Whotookcareofyou?”
“It’sfine.Isurvived,didn’tI?”Myvoicewasbarelyrecognizableasitwaslacedwithpainandangerandgrief.
“Youdid.Butyouwereyoung,andyoushouldn’thavehadallthatresponsibilityonyourshoulders.So,youhaveeveryrighttobeangrywithyourfatherfornotshowingupforyouandyourbrother.Forbetrayingyourmother.Fornotbeingthefatherthatyouneeded.Thoseareallfairemotions,andyoucandecidewhattodowiththem.ButIthinkalittlepartofyoudoesn’twanttocompletelywritehimoff.”
“Ican’t.I’mforcedtoseehimatfamilyevents.”
“Really?Whatwouldhappenifyoudidn’tattend?”sheasked,andIpinchedthebridgeofmynose.
“Itwoulddisappointmygrandparents.They’vebeengoodtome,tomybrother,tomymother.SoIgoforthem.”
“Isthereanypartofyouthatwantsarelationshipwithhim?”
“No,”Igrowled,lookingawaybeforefinishingthestatement.“Imean,nowI’mevenmoretiedtohimbecausehe’sgoingtohaveababy.Ican’tturnmybackonmysisterorbrother.”
“Youareallowedtodowhatevermakesyouhappy,Maddox.AndwhatI’veseenofyouandGeorgia,Ithinkyou’rebothveryhappytogether.”
“Absolutely,”Isaid.“Withoutquestion,she’sthebestthingthat’shappenedtome.”
“Yousaidshe’syourfirstseriousrelationship.Thefirstwomanyou’velovedsinceyourmother’spassing,right?”
“Sheis.”
“Ithinkthat’sasignthatyou’rereadytomoveon.Toletgoofsomeofthissadness.Youdeservethat.Andwhetherornotyoucontinuearelationshipwithyourfatherisuptoyou.Butyouneedtoknowthatyou’realsoallowedtostophatinghim.Thatwouldnotbeasignofyoubeingdisloyaltoyourmother.SoIwantyoutothinkaboutwhatyoureallywantmovingforward.Don’tworryaboutyourgrandparents.Theyaregoingtoloveyourfatherandloveyouregardlessofwhateitherofyoudo.Ithinkthey’veproventhatbybeingsoforgivingofhisactions.”Shepushedtoherfeetandreachedformyhand,waitingformetolookupather.“You’reallowedtobehappy,Maddox.Yourmotherwouldwantthatforyou.”
Fuckme.
Thisshitwashittingeveryfuckingnerveinmybody.
Inodded,thelumpsothickinmythroatitwasdifficulttoswallow,letalonespeak.
So,Ididn’t.
Ipushedtomyfeet,andIjustwrappedmyarmsaroundherandhuggedher.
Andfortoday,thiswasenough.
Iwantedtostopthinkingaboutitandgethometomygirl.
ShewasallIneeded.
Andthatwaswhatmademehappy.twenty-nineGeorgia
Mylegsweregentlypushedapart,andIsquirmedagainstthesweetestsensationbetweenmythighs.Myeyesblinkedacoupletimes,andIstartledwhenIrealizedIwasn’tdreaming.Iglanceddowntoseeabare-chestedMaddox,hiseyeshoodedashelookedupatme,andhelickedhislipsasIwassprawledinthemiddleofhisbed.
“HappyBirthday,andHappyValentine’sDay,Tink.”
Well,thiswasdefinitelyoneforthebooks,becausenoonehadeverwokenmeuponmybirthdayquitelikethis.AndIwashereforit.
“Thankyou,”Isaid,myvoicesleepyandlacedwithneedasmyfingerstangledinhishair.
“Iwanttostartyourdayoffright.”Hedroppedbackdown,histongueflickingandteasingmymostsensitiveareabeforehismouthcoveredmyclit.Myheadfellback,andImoaned,thesensationsooverpowering.Isquirmedandwrithed,andhetookmerighttotheedgeoverandoverbeforepullingback.Hisfingerslippedinside,movingslowlyatfirstbeforeslidingasecondfingerinashistonguecontinuedworkingitsmagic.Andthistime…hedidn’tpullback.
Myentirebodystartedtoshake,andItuggedharderonhishairasstarsexplodedbehindmyeyes.Inearlyarchedoffthebed,butheheldmethere,hishandrestingovermylowerstomach,asIexploded.
“Maddox!”Ishouted,tremorsrockingthroughme.
Sopowerful.
Sostrong.
Soepicallydelicious.
Lookatme,beingallpoetic.Thatwaswhatthismandidtome.Andhestayedrightthere,lettingmerideouteverylastbitofpleasure
Oncemybodystoppedquakingandmybreathingsettled,heslidupthebedbesideme,onehandonmycheekandtheotheronmywaist.
“HappyValentine’sDay,birthdaygirl.”Hekissedmyforeheadandthenmynoseandmycheeksbeforestoppingonmylips.Ineverwouldhaveguessedthismanwassucharomantic,buthewas.He’dbeenactingawfullycockysincemybrothershadtoldhimwhenmybirthdaywas.Ihadn’tintentionallykeptitasecret.Itjusthadn’tcomeupyet.Ourrelationshipwasawhirlwindinsomeways.Andinotherways,itfeltlikeI’dknownthismanforever.
“HappyValentine’sDay.Ihaveapresentforyou.”
“Todayisallaboutyou.”
“No.It’salsoaboutus.”Hewouldn’ttellmewhereweweregoingtonight,buthe’dbeenverydistractedthelastfewdays,soIknewhewasuptosomething.
Hepressedupagainstme,andhiserectionpokedmeinthelowerbelly,whichmademelaugh.
“HowaboutIstartoutbyreturningthefavor?”Islippedmyhandinsidethewaistbandofhisjoggersandwaspleasedthattherewerenobriefstoworkthrough,asmyfingerswrappedaroundhisthick,harderection.
“I’dratherbeinsideyou,baby,”hesaidasIstrokedhimafewtimes.
“Itoldyouit’sbeenthirtydayssinceIgotonthepill,andI’veneverbeenwithanyonewithoutprotection.Yousaidthatyouhaven’teither,sowhatifwedon’tuseacondom?”IwhisperedbecauseIwasdyingtofeelhimwithnothingbetweenus.
Hishandfoundmycheek,andhepushedmyhairawayfrommyface.“Youwantmybarecockinsideyou,don’tyou?”
Icouldfeelmycheeksheat.Themanhadafilthymouth,andIwasembarrassedtoadmitthatIlovedit.Ibitdownonmybottomlip.“Ido.”
“Ido,too.Thereisnobettergiftthatyoucouldgiveme.”
Iwasalreadynaked,asI’dgrownaccustomedtosleepingthiswaynow.Hepushedtohisfeetandpeeledoffhisjoggerswithinseconds,whichmademelaugh,beforehedoveontothebed,shovingmylegsapartashesettledbetweenmythighs.
“Someone’seagerthismorning,”Isaid.
Hesmiledthiswidegrin,withperfectwhiteteethandsexyscruffpepperedaroundhisjaw.“That’sbecauseIhavesomanysurprisesforyoutoday.”
Mychestsqueezedathiswords.
“Ididn’tknowyouweresointosurprises.”
Hiseyessoftened.“Ineverhavebeen.NevercaredaboutValentine’sDay.Neverthoughtbirthdayswerethatbigofadeal.Butcelebratingthedaythatyoucameintotheworld—”Hepausedandlookedawayforamomentbeforehiseyesreturnedtomine.“It’smynewfavoritedayoftheyear,Tink.”
Mybreathlodgedinmythroat.
ThelovethatIfeltforthismanwassomethingIneverknewwaspossible.Itwaseverything.Ineverknewmyheartcouldcompletelybelongtoanotherperson,butitdid.
Heteasedmyentrancewiththetipofhiserectionbeforehemovedforward,slowly,hisdarkeyeslockedwithmineashefilledme.Inchbygloriousinch
Thefeelofhimbarewasindescribable.
Hishandsfoundmineandintertwinedourfingers,holdingthemjustabovemyhead.
Myeyessqueezedshut,andIgaspedoncehewasallthewayin.
“Eyesonme,baby.”Hisvoicewasstrainedyetcommanding.
Mygazesnappedopenandlockedwithhis.
Itwasmoreintenseaswewatchedoneanotherandfoundourrhythm.Hislargehandsstillcoveredmine,andsomethingshiftedbetweenus.AlovesostrongthatIdidn’tthinkeitheroneofussawthiscoming.
“Ifuckingloveyou,”hesaid.“Youknowthat,right?”
“Yes,ofcourse.Iloveyousomuch,”Iwhispered.
Sensationbuilt,andourpacequickened.Hereleasedoneofmyhandssohecouldslidehisfingersbetweenourbodies,knowingexactlywheretotouchme.
ExactlywhatIneeded.
Mybackarched,andIgroaned.
AndIexplodedagain.Mybodywasexhaustedandexhilaratedallatthesametime.
Hepumpedintomeoncemore.
Twice.
Andthenhegrowledmynameashefollowedmeintooblivion.
Ourbreathswerelabored,andoncewebothcalmeddown,hepulledoutofmeandwenttothebathroom.Hereturnedwithatowelandpresseditbetweenmylegs.Itwaswarmandsoothing,andhetookhistimecleaningmeup.
Thedoorbellrang,andIstartled.“Who’shere?”
“It’syourfirstpresent.Getdressedandmeetmeoutthere.”HetuggedhisjoggersonbeforepullinghisHarvardhoodieoverhishead,glancingovertowinkatmeasheslippedoutoftheroom.
IhurriedtomyfeetandgotdressedasquicklyasIcould.AsIpulledmyhairintoabun,Iglanceddownatmyphonetoseemultipletextsinthesiblinggroupchat.
Brinkley
HappyBirthdaytomyfavoritesister!IhopeyouandBossmanaredoingallsortsofnaughtythingstokickoffyourspecialday.AndHappyValentine’sDaytoeveryoneelse.
Cage
Whyinthemotherfuckinghellwouldyouputthatinagrouptext?Mayyouneverdonaughtythingswithanyone,Georgie.ButHappyBirthday.I’mendlesslyproudofyouandloveyou.HappyValentine’sDaytotherestofyouromanticsaps.
Finn
IagreewithCageonthisone.I’mgoingtoignorethatpartofthemessage,Brinks.Maybeyoutwocansharethatkindofshitonaseparatethread.HappyBirthday,Georgie.
Hugh
Dowhatevermakesyouhappytoday,Georgiegirl.Iloveyou,andI’mwishingyouakickassyear.Youdeserveallthegoodinlife.
Cage
Wow.Thatwasdeep.
Brinkley
CanwepleasetalkabouthowsappyHughisnowthathe’sinlove?Cage,you’reanendlessgrump.Finn,stopbeingCage’sbitch.
Hey,guys!Thankyouforthebirthdaywishes.Ican’tbelieveI’manotheryearolder.I’llbethirtybeforeIknowit.
Finn
You’retwenty-three…
Butsomeday,right?LOL.I’mhavingagreatdaysofar,butIwon’teventellyouallthenaughtythingsI’vedonealready.
Cage
Pleasedon’t.<pukingemoji>
Finn
Somethingsarebetterleftunsaid.<coveringeyesemoji>
Hugh
Youdoyou,Georgiegirl.<shruggingemoji><hearteyesemoji>
Brinkley
Gogirl,go.<thumbs-upemoji>
HappyValentine’sDay.Iloveyou.<blowingkissesemoji>
Ituckedmyphoneintomybackpocketandhurriedoutofthebathroom.
WhenIpaddeddownthelonghallwayandouttothegreatroom,IfoundMaddoxinthekitchenwithSalRoberts,afriendofmyfather’s.
“Hi,Sal,”Isaid,anditcameoutasmoreofaquestion.
Helaughed.“Hey,Georgia.HappyBirthday.”
ImovednexttoMaddox,whowasstandingononesideofthekitchenisland,whiletheoldermanstoodontheotherside.Salhadalargewhiterollofpaperthathe’djustpulledfromthekitchencounter.
“Thankyou.What’sgoingonhere?”
“I’llbeoutbacktakingsomemeasurements.I’llletMaddoxfillyouin.”Hesmirkedandmadehiswayoutthedoor.
Alargeblackboxsatontheislandwithawhitebowonit.Ireachedformycollarboneandrubbedmyfingersovermystarnecklace.Thisgiftwouldbereallyhardtotop.
“HappyBirthday,baby,”hesaid,pushingtheboxtowardme.
Iuntiedtheribbonandpulledoffthelid,andfoundfourpickleballracquetsandseveralsetsofballsinside.Myheadtippedbackaslaughterescaped.Damn.Hereallydidpayattention.
“Yougotmepickleballgear!”Isquealed.“Youreallydoloveme.”
Hetuggedmeintohisarms.“Imean,you’rethecountychamp,right?”
“Damnstraight,Bossman.Thankyou.So,what’sSaldoinghere?”
“Hughgavemehisnumber,andwe’vealreadymetafewtimesbeforetoday,butheneededtogetafewmoremeasurementsbeforetheybreakgroundnextweek.”
“Measurementsforwhat?”
“I’mhavingapickleballcourtputinthebackyardforyou.So,youcanplaywheneveryouwantnow.”WhatintheabsolutehellhadIdonetodeservethisman?
Henevertriedtochangeme.HelovedmejustthewayIwas.
Ilungedintohisarmsasheliftedmeoffthefloor,andmylegswrappedaroundhiswaist.
“Idon’tknowwhatIdidtodeserveyou,butIfeelliketheluckiestgirlintheworld.”
“I’mtheluckyone,Tink.”Hekissedme.“Andyou’llgetyourValentine’sgifttonight.”
“IalreadyhaveeverythingIwantrighthere.”
Andthatwasthetruth.
***
MaddoxandIhadpickeduptakeoutfromReynolds’,andherefusedtotellmewherehewastakingme.
Wetalkedanddroveupthemountainabit,andIquicklyfiguredoutwhathewasupto.
“Areyoutakingmetothepond?”Iaskedwithachuckle.
ItwasasifsomeonehadliterallyclimbedinsidemyheadandsharedeverysinglethingthatIwouldwantandputitallintooneday.
Hepulleddownthedirtroad,whichmadeitclearthathe’dbeenherebefore.Isawtwotruckscomingfromtheoppositedirection,whichwassurprisingbecausetherewasnevertrafficuphere
“Idon’tknowhowallthesepeopleknowaboutthepond.It’sprettyprivate.Onlythelocalsknowaboutthisplace,andnoonecomesuphereatnight,”Isaid,watchingastheybothpassedusonthenarrowroad.
Hejustsmiledandkeptdriving.Whenwecamearoundthecorner,mymouthfellopen.Thereweretwinklelightsinthetreesthatsurroundedthepond.Ithadalwaysbeenmyfavoriteplacetosneakawayto.
TheplaceI’dfirstlearnedtoskate.
SometimesI’ddriveherewhenIwasinhighschool,parkmycar,andjustbundleupandlistentomusicouthereanddaydream.
Itwasalwayssoclearatnight,andthestarsdancedinthedistancewhenIlookedoutthewindow.
Therewasalargeblanketandcandlesplacedinalinedownthedirtpathtowardthefrozenpond.
“It’ssobeautiful,”Iwhispered.
“That’swhatthoseguysweresettingupforus.”Hewinked.
“Isitafirehazard?”
Hebarkedoutalaugh.“Thecandlesareonbatteries,Tink.Hughgavemesomegoodideasforhowtolighttheplaceupatnight.”
“Istillneedtogiveyouyourgift,butnowIfeellikeacrappygirlfriendbecauseIdidn’ttransformyourfavoritespotandturnitintoawinterwonderland.”Ireachedovertheseattograbthepackagewhenwecametoastopafewfeetfromwhereourblanketwas.
“Don’tberidiculous.Yougavememygiftthismorning.”Hewaggledhisbrowswhenheturnedtofaceme.
Ipressedthebuttononthelightaboveusandhandedhimhisgift.MystomachflutteredwithnervesbecauseI’dwantedittobespecial.
Hepulledoffthefirstpackageandunwrappeditbeforeflippingthroughthepagesofthesmallrectangularbook.“Acouponbook,huh?”
Iclimbedovertheseat,movingontohislap,asheheldupthelasttwogiftssoIcouldsettleonhislap.Icouldnevergetcloseenoughtothisman.Hewrappedhisarmsaroundmeashereadeachonetohimself,laughingasheturnedeachpage.
“Goodforonelife-changingblowjob,huh?”Henippedatmyear.
“Ofcourse,that’stheoneyoufocuson.Notthedayofteachingyouhowtoplaypickleballorreadingaromancebooktoyoualoud.”
“Iloveit,”hesaid,andheturnedmyfacesohecouldkissme.“BestgiftI’veeverreceived.”
“You’retooeasy.”Ichuckledandpushedtheotherpackageinfrontofhim.HeopenedthewhiteboxwiththeredbowwrappedarounditandpulledouttheT-shirtthatread:Mygirlfriendwonthecountypickleballchampionship,andallIgotwasthisstupidT-shirt.
Hisheadfellbackinhystericallaughter.
MaddoxLancaster’slaughwasmusictomyears.
“Iloveit,baby.”Hekissedmycheek,andItooktheT-shirtandthecouponbookandplacedtheminthebackseat,pushingthefinalpackagetowardhim.
Hetoreoffthered-and-whitepolka-dotpaperandthenopenedthelidtothebox.Iheardtheinhaleofhisbreathashestudiedthephotosinthelargeframewithtwocutouts.
TherewasonepictureofhimandWyleandtheirmomsittingonthebackporchbeneaththestars.TheotherpicturewasofmeandMaddox,curledupontheoutdoorcouchinhisbackyard,withthestarstwinklingaboveus.
“Georgia,”hewhispered.“Wheredidyougetthis?”
“IaskedWyleifhehadagoodphotoofthethreeofyou,andheaskedyourgrandmother.Shesaidshehadboxesofphotosfromyourmom.So,thatnight,whenyouthoughtIwasdoingagirls’nightwithBrinkleyandLila,Ihadactuallygoneouttothecityandhaddinnerwithyourgrandparents,andwewentthroughabunchofboxesofphotos.WhenIsawthisone,IknewitwaswhatIwaslookingfor.”
Hiseyeswerewetwithemotion,andIturnedtofacehimsoIwasstraddlinghimashishandsranthroughmyhair,tuckingitbehindmyear.
“That’sexactlyhowIfeltwhenIfoundyou.”Hepulledmecloseandkissedme.“Thankyou.”
“Imean,it’snotapickleballcourtoratransformedice-skatingpond.”Ismiled.“ButI’mgladyoulikeit.AndIwantyoutoknowthatIloveeverythingyoudid,butifyoudidnothing,I’dbeokaywiththat,too.BecausethebestgiftI’veeverreceivedisyou.”
“Rightbackatyou,baby.Now,let’sgetyououttheresoyoucanshowmeallyourmoves.I’vegotonemoregiftforyouinthetrunk.Let’sgo.”
“There’snothinglefttogiveme,”Isaid,climbingoffhislapwhenhepushedthedooropen.Istartedjoggingdowntowardtheice.
“I’vegotskatesforyou!”heshoutedafterme,butIdidn’tstoprunning.
Ipausedattheblanketthathadflowersandabakeryboxthere.AndwhenIturnedaround,Isawhimwalkingmyway,wearinghisblackskicoatandcarryingourdinnerandanotherboxwithabowonit.
“I’llgiveyoualittlepreviewwithoutskates.AndthenI’llputthemonforthebigfinale.IcantwirlbarefootifIwantto,”Isaidovermylaughter,asImovedontothepondthatlookedlikeglasswiththemoonshiningdownonit.Iheldmyhandsouttothesidesandspunaround.
Hesetthefooddownontheblanketandshookhishead.“Allright,then.Letmeseeit.”
Imovedtothemiddleoftheiceandspunaroundashewatchedmeandhelduphisphonetotakeapicture.
“Okay,onemoretwirl,thenwe’lleat.”Imovedfartherontotheiceandheardacrunchingnoisebeneathmyfeet.Mystomachtwisted,knowingsomethingwaswrong,justastheicebeneathmeopenedup—andswallowedmewhole.thirtyMaddox
Therearemomentsinyourlifethatyouknowaregoingtobelife-changingtheminutetheyhappen.
I’dexperienceditbefore.
Idroppedthebagoffood,droppedmyphone,andstartedsprintingbeforeIcouldtrulyprocesswhatwashappening
“Georgia!”AvoiceIdidn’trecognizeleftmythroatasImovedquicklytowardthepond.
She’dbeentwirling.
Laughing.
Smiling.
Myangel.Mylove.
Andthensheliterallydisappearedbeneaththeice.
Therewasnowarning.
Likeshe’dsteppedintoaholeandfallenrightinsideit.I’dheardhergasp.Andthenshewasgone.
Terrormovedthrougheveryboneinmybody,butIknewIhadashorttimetogettoher,soIreacted.
Imadeittotheedgeandtuggedoffmycoat,knowingIwouldneedittobedrywhenIpulledherout.IdroppeddownonmystomachandslidasfastasIcouldtowardthecenterofthepond.Iknewsteppingontheicewouldbetoorisky.
Ineededtogettotheholeandgetherout.
“Georgia!”IscreamedasIgotcloser.SomethingbeneathmepoundedontheiceandIrealizeditwashertryingtogetout.
Iscreamedhernameagainastheholewasonlyinchesfrommyreach.
Ikeptmylowerbodyontheiceandshovedmyheaddowninsidethefreezingcoldwater.
AndthatwaswhenIsawthetintofredflowingaroundherasshefloatedinfrontofmeinherwhitecoat.
Isilentlybeggedhertogivemeherhand,butshewaslifeless,andherbodyswayedjustoutofmyreach.Ipushedfurtherintotheabyssandgraspedhercoatastheredwaterdarkened,andIrealizeditwasblood.ItuggedashardasIcould,slidingmybodybackasIpulledherheadthroughthehole,andbloodmovedfromthetopofherheadanddownherface.
Ipushedtomykneesandpulledheroutasagutturalsoundleftmylips.MyhandsshookasItouchedhereverywhere,coveringhercheeksandshakingher
“Baby,please,”Ibegged.IpulledherasfarasIcouldfromthecenteroftheicesowewouldn’triskfallingthrough.
Fuck.
Thewordrepeatedoverandoverinmyhead.
Oncewewereclosetotheedge,Ipressedmyeartohermouth,andshewasn’tbreathing.Herlipswereblue.Iturnedheronhersideandhitheronthebackaswaterspewedfromhermouth,andthenIleaneddowntolistenforabreath.
Nothing.
Fuckingnothing.
Iunzippedherjacket,placingonehandovertheother,andpumpedmyhandsintoherchestasIshoutedandwailedwordsthatweren’tcoherent.
“Twenty-nine,thirty,”Isaid.“Breathe,baby.”
Itippedherheadback,pluggedhernose,andbreathed.Isawherchestrise,andIleanedbackdownandgaveheranotherbreath.
Shecoughedandmadeawheezingsound,andIplacedmyearagainsthermouthagain,andthankedGodthatshewasbreathing,butshestilllaytherecompletelylifeless.
Asobescaped,andIswipedatmyface,unsureiftheyweretearsorwater.
Everythingmovedinslowmotion,andIknewIneededtoactfast.
Ipickedherupandtossedherovermyshoulder,grabbingmycoatasIsprinteduptowardtheblanket.Ireachedformyphoneandtheedgeoftheflannelblanket,yankingithardaseverythingflewintotheairaroundit,andIracedtowardthecar.IopenedthedoorandstartedstrippingherclothesoffofherasIdialed911onspeakerphone.Iwrappedherintheblanketandthenputmycoataroundher.
“Ineedhelp.Mygirlfriendfellthroughtheice.She’sunconscious.”Myvoicedidn’tsoundlikemyown.Itwasshrillandpanicked,andIwasonthevergeoflosingit.
Theoperatorshoutedallsortsofordersatme,andwhenIrealizedtherewasnowayforanyonetogettousquickerthanIcouldgethertothehospital,Imovedbehindthewheel,withGeorgiainmyarms,andraceddownthemountain.
“I’monmywaytothehospital.”IendedthecallanddemandedSiridialHughReynolds.
“Myman.Howdiditgo?”
AstrainedsobleftmythroatagainasIraceddowntheroad.
“Maddox.”Hugh’svoicewaslacedwithpanic.
“Shefellthroughthefuckingice!”Ishouted,findingmyvoicenow.“Idon’thavetimetogethertothecity.I’mgoingtotheclosesthospital.”
“ThehospitalisafewblocksfromReynolds’.You’reclose.Isshebreathing?”
Icouldn’tspeakagainasIlookeddownatherasshelaylifelessonmylap.“Breathe,baby!”
Iendedthecallandswipedatmyeyes.MyvisionblurredasIapproachedaredlight.Ilaidonthehornandflewrightthroughit,knowingthehospitalwasnotfar.Ipushedthegaspedaldownandspedintothehospitalparkinglot,drivingoveracurbtogettherefaster.WhenIpulledinfrontoftheemergencyroom,Iputthecarinparkjustasagroupofpeoplecameflyingoutthedoor,andIliftedGeorgiainmyarms,hurryingoutofthecar.Ididn’tknowhowtheyknewwewerecoming,butIfiguredHughmusthavemadeacall.Bloodpouredfromherheaddownherface,andthreemenreachedtotakeherfromme.
Ididn’tletgoatfirst,andIchokedonasob.
“Sir,weneedtoseewhat’sgoingon.Please,letustakeher.”
Iheldontoherhandwhentheytookherfromme,andIfollowedthemovertothegurneywheretheylaidherdown.
Herhandslippedfrommineastheyhurriedinside,andIfollowedthem,quicklyansweringtheirquestionsasfastasIcould,buteverythingwashappeningsofast.
“Howlongdoyouthinkshewasunderthewater?”oneofthemenaskedme,asanothergroupofpeoplehurriedinourdirectiontohelpwhenwemovedthroughthewaitingroom.
“Maybetwominutes?”Ishookmyhead.“Idon’tfuckingknow.Shewasn’tbreathingatfirst.Butshecoughedupalotofwater.IdidCPR,andshestartedbreathing.”
Theymovedhertowardthedoubledoors,andtheguytalkingstoppedme.“Youneedtowaithere.Wewilldoeverythingwecanandbeoutasquicklyaspossible.Wheredidtheheadinjurycomefrom?”
“Idon’tfuckingknow.Ithinkshehitherheadwhenshefellinormaybeshehititbeneaththeicewhenshewastryingtogetout,”Isaid,shakingmyheadwithdisbelief.
“Okay.Thankyou.We’llbeoutasquicklyaswecan.”
Istoodthere,staringatthedoubledoorswherethey’dtakenher,andragesuddenlytookover.NofuckingwaywasIstandingouthere.
Sheneededme.
Ipushedthroughthedoors,andtwoguysmovedtowardmeandaskedmetoleave,andIswung.
“I’mfuckingstayingwithher!”Iwailed,justastwoarmscamearoundmefrombehindandsqueezedtight.
“I’vegothim.He’sjustupset.”ItwasHugh’svoice.
“Weneedyoubothoutofhere.Wecan’thelpherifwe’refightingyou.”
Ithrewmyhandsintheairinsurrender,andHughwalkedbackwardthroughthedoorsashekeptholdofme.Oncewewereoutinthehallway,heturnedmearoundtofacehimandwrappedhisarmsaroundme.
“You’reokay.Breathe.Tellmewhathappened.”Hisvoicewaseerilycalm
Isteppedback,lookingdowntoseemyhandscoveredinblood.Myclotheswerecoveredinbloodandsoaked.“Idon’tknow.SherandowntotheicewhileIwassettingthefooddown.Andweweretalking.Wewerefuckingtalking.Andthenshejustfellthroughtheice.Therewasnowarning.Shewasjustgone.”
Ileanedagainstthewall.Icouldn’tcatchmybreath.
Icouldn’tfuckingliveinaworldthatGeorgiaReynoldswasn’tin.
NotnowthatI’dexperiencedlifewithherinit.
“Jesus.You’vegotbloodalloveryou.”Hereachedformyhandsandtookhiscoatoffandputitaroundmyshoulders.“Whereisthebloodcomingfrom?”
“Itwascomingfromherhead,”Isaid,staringdownatmybloodyhands.“Shewasunconscious.Sheneverspoke.”
“Wasshebreathing?”Hugh’svoicecracked,andmyeyessnappedup,andIsawthepanic.
“Notatfirst.IdidCPR,andshestartedbreathing.Butshewasn’tconscious.Idon’tknowwhatthefuckhappened.I’msofuckingsorry.Ilethergooutonthatice.Ifuckinglethergooutontheice!”Ishoutedandturnedandpunchedthewall.
Hughgrabbedmeagain,justasCageandFinncamerunningaroundthecorner.ThenexthourwasfilledwithallofGeorgia’sfamilymembersshowingup.Thereweretearsandquestions,andtheyhuggedme,repeatingoverandoverthatitwasn’tmyfault.Lilabroughtmedryclothes,andCageandFinndraggedmeovertothebathroomandforcedmetogointhestallandchange.WhenIcameout,Iwashedthebloodfrommyhandsandthenfellagainstthewallbesidethesink,slidingdowntothefloorandlettingmyselfbreakdown.Theymovedoneachsideofme,sittingonthefloorastheycriedrightalongwithme.
WhenBrinkleyarrived,shepacedforthelongesttimeandthenwentandgotahotteaandinsistedIdrinkitwhileshepacedsomemore.
Thenextfewhourswerebrutal.WeweretoldthatGeorgiahadsufferedatraumaticbraininjurywhenshe’dfallenthroughtheiceandmostlikelyhitherheadhardenoughtosplititopen.Shewasinacoma,andtheyhadnoideahowlongitwouldbeuntilshewokeup.
Icalledmygrandfather,whohadafriendthatwasaprominentneurosurgeoninSanFrancisco,andheflewonourhelicoptertogiveasecondopinion.Noonethoughtshewasinastatetobemoved,sowe’dbringdoctorshereanddowhateverittooktomakesureshegotthebestcare.
WewereabletositinherroomintheICU,andtheReynoldseshadallagreedtotakeshifts,asthehospitaldidn’twantmorethantwopeopleinherroomatatime.
Iwasn’tbigontakingshifts.
Iwashere,andIwasn’tleaving.
Whenthesuncameupinthemorning,Iblinkedafewtimes,myhandcoveringhersandmyheadrestingbesideherwaistonthebed.I’dsleptinthechairononesideofherbed,withAlanaontheother.
“Goodmorning,Tink,”Iwhispered.“Canyouhearme,baby?”
Nothing.
Shelookedpeaceful,notasignofdistressotherthanthegashthatthey’dstitchedupatthetopofherforehead.
Herhairwaswildandwavyfrombeingsubmergedinfreezingcoldwater.
IsqueezedmyeyesclosedasIrememberedhowshelookedwhenI’dpulledherout.Herlipswereblue,herbodylifeless.
Justlikemymotherhadbeen.
WasIfuckingcursed?
Thetwomostimportantwomeninmylifehadputtheirlivesinmyhands.
I’dfailedthefirsttime.
WehadnoideaifTinkhadsufferedalossofoxygentothebrain.Dr.Lexington,mygrandfather’sdoctorfriend,hadagreedwithDr.PruitthereinCottonwoodCove.
Timewouldtell.
Fuckingendlessyearsofschooling,andthatwasthediagnosis?
Timewouldfuckingtell?
Timehadneverbeenmuchofafriendtome.
Ithadtakenmymomtoosoon.
Irubbedmythumboverthebackofherlimphandandglancedovertoseehermothersleepingintheotherchair.
“Ididn’tgettogiveyouyourothergift.Itwasn’tjusttheskatesinthatbox,Georgia.Therewasakeytothehouse,”Isaid,myvoicecrackingonthelastword.“Ourhouse,Tink.Theonewiththepickleballcourt.IpromiseI’llplayasmuchasyouwantmetoifyouwakeup.Ifyouletmeknowthatyou’reinthere.”
Igaveherhandaslightsqueeze.Nothing.
Myheadfellforwardandrestedonourjoinedhands.
“Please,baby.Ineedyou.”
“Hey,”Alanasaid,andIraisedmyheadtolookather.“Howisshe?”
“Thesame.”
Webothknewthatthelongershestayedinthisstate,theworseitwouldbe.
“Maddox.”Shestoodandstrokedherdaughter’shairawayfromherface.“Yousavedherlife.”
Myeyeswidened.“AfterInearlykilledher?”
“Theicebreakingwasnotyourfault.Theboystoldyoutotakeherthere.Iwouldhavetoldyoutotakeherthere.It’sherfavoriteplace.Andyourespondedquickly.Idon’tevenknowhowyoupulledheroutoftheresofastandperformedCPRandgothertothehospital,allwithinminutes.Thatiswhyshe’shereandstillbreathing.”
“Ishouldhavegoneoutontheiceandcheckeditfirst.”
“Whywouldanyonethinktodothat?Andhonestly,ifyouhadgoneouttherefirstandfallenin,shewouldhavegoneafteryoujustlikeyoudidforher.Butshewouldn’thavehadthestrengthtopullyouout,andthenyou’dbothbegone.”Herwordsbrokeonasob.“Mydaughterisverystrong,Maddox.She’safighter.Alwayshasbeen.”
Dr.Pruittwalkedinandtalkedtousalittlemoreaboutthefactthatheknewnothingaboutherconditionorherfuture.
Ihatedhimforit.
Ihatedeveryonerightnow.
AnursecameintochangeherIV,andIsawabruiseonGeorgia’sarm,andIlostmyshit.
“Doesanyoneknowwhatthefuckthey’redoing?Youcan’tjustkeeppokingher!”Iraged,justasBradfordandHugharrived.AlanakissedmycheekandwenthometoshowerasherfatherandbrothersaidthattheywouldtaketurnscominginsothatIdidn’thavetoleave.
BecauseIwasn’tfuckingleaving.
Hughpulledmeoutintothehallway,handedmeacoffee,andtoldmetosettlethefuckdown.
“Punchingwallsandscreamingateveryoneisnotgoingtomakeherwakeupfaster,brother.”HeraisedabrowasIsippedtheblackcoffee.
“Howdoyouknow?Maybeshe’llwakeupandtellmetoshutthefuckup,”Isaiddryly.
Hughbarkedoutalaugh,butitwasn’tnearlyasloudasitusuallywas,andIdidn’tmissthedarkcirclesbeneathhiseyes.
TheReynoldseswereallsuffering,justlikeme.IwasjusttheonebeingatotaldickheadbecausethatwashowIusuallydealtwiththings.
“Youmightberight.There’snothingGeorgielovesmorethancallingpeopleoutiftheyaren’tbehaving.”Hescrubbedahanddownhisface.
“IsitbadthatIdon’twanttogiveupmyspotintheroom?Iknowyou’realltakingshifts,butIdon’twanttoleave,Hugh.”
“Nah,Maddox.Thisiswhereyouneedtobe,andweallrespectthat.Everyone’soutinthewaitingroom.Lilawenttogetbagelsandmuffins.Thefamilywillbetakingoverthishospitaluntilshewakesup.Andwecantaketurnscominginandoutoftheroom.Youstayrighttherewithyourgirl.She’llwanttoseeyoufirstwhenshewakesup.”
Inodded.“Thankyou.AndI’lltrynottoscreamatanyoneforthenexthourorso.”
Henoddedandforcedasmile.Butitwasn’tgenuine,becausenoneofuscouldsmilerightnow.Iturnedtowalkbackintotheroom,andheclappedhishandonmyshoulder.“I’msorryItoldyoutotakeherthere.I’msofuckingsorry.”
Jesus.Hewasblaminghimself,too?
Iturnedaroundandwrappedmyarmsaroundhim.“Don’tdothat.”
“Itwasmyidea.”
Ipulledback.“Ifyouwouldhaveseenherfacewhenwepulledup.Hell,Iprobablycouldhavegottenhertoagreetomarrymeinthatmoment,becauseshewassofuckinghappywewerethere.”
“Yeah.Shelovesthatfuckingplace.Dadmadesomecalls,andwe’retryingtofigureouthowthefuckingicecrackedinthesetemperatures.We’vebeenskatingonthaticeforyears.”
IshruggedjustasBradfordcalledmetocomebackin.
Ihurriedinside,hopingsomethinghadhappened,butitwasjustmoreupdatesaboutherheartratebeingslownow.
Itookbackresidenceinmychair,reachedforherhand,andpromisedherIwouldbetherewhenshewokeup.
Butthesunlightthatfilledtheroomduringthedaywoulddarkenintheevening.Anothernightwithoutmygirl.
Anothernightwherewecouldn’tsitbeneaththestars.
BrinkleyandFinnhadtakenshiftscominginwithmeduringthelatehours.
Cagehadcomeforseveralhoursandsatwithme.
LilaandHughweretherethefollowingmorning,takingturnsinthechairontheothersideofherbed.
Thedaysandthenightsblurred.
Alanahadurgedmetogohomeandsleepandtakeashower.ButIwasn’tleavinguntilIknewshewasokay.
Period.Endofstory.
Theroomhadfilledwithflowersfromeveryoneintown.
Thelargestarrangementthatarrivedwasfrommyfather,who’dcalledmemultipletimesadaytocheckonher.
WhothefuckwouldhaveguessedthatGeorgiaReynoldswouldbethereasonIwouldtakecallsfrommyfather?
Buthewasgenuinelyconcernedaboutherbecauseshe’dbeennothingbutkindtohim.
Wylecalledconstantly,asdidmygrandparents.
Everyonelovedher.
I’dputthemintouchwithAlana,whowasmuchbetteratupdatingpeople,becauseIdidn’twanttotalktoanyonebuttheonepersonIcouldn’ttalkto.
“I’mgoingtogodowntothecafeteriaandgetyouasandwich.Youhaven’teatenanythingtoday,”Alanasaidwhentheroomdarkenedandweweregettingreadyforourthirdnightofsleepinginachair.She’dleftduringthedayandbroughtfoodforeveryoneatthehospital,butIhadnoappetite.
Inodded,notbecauseIwantedfood,butbecauseIcoulduseaminutealone.Ididn’twanttobreakdowninfrontofGeorgia’smother.Hell,she’dgivenbirthtomygirl,andIknewshewashurting.Butholdingitinwaskillingme.
Iwrappedbothhandsaroundmygirl’sdaintyhand,andIletthetearsfall.
“Baby,Ineedyoutowakeup.IneverthoughtIwouldloveanyonethewaythatIloveyou.Andnowthatyou’veawakenedthat,Idon’tknowwhattodowithit.”Isniffedandtriedtostopthetearsfromfalling.“Ican’tbeinaworldthatyouaren’tin.Soplease,please,Tink.Don’tleaveme.”
Thelumplodgedinmythroatmadeitdifficulttobreathe.Ifellforward,myheadrestingonherhip.Herhandwrappedinmine.
AndthatwaswhenIfeltit.
Herfingermovedalongthebackofmyhand.Soothingandhealingandbringingmebacktolife.
Myheadsprunguptolookather.Hereyeswereblinking.Herhandsqueezingmineback.
Iglancedattheoutdatedclockhangingonthewall.
Forty-eighthoursandtwenty-nineminutesofpurehell.
Georgia’sdarkgazelockedwithmine.
Shewasawake.thirty-oneGeorgia
EveryonebustledaroundmeasItriedtoprocessallthatwashappening.
Dr.Pruitt,myparents,mysiblings—everyoneexplainingtheeventsofthelasttwodays.
Theonlyonenotspeakingwasmyboyfriend,who’dsatsilentlyinthechairaspeoplecameinandoutoftheroom
I’dheardhimwhenIwassleeping,orastheylikedtocallit,whenIwasinacoma.
I’dheardthemalltalkingaroundme.
ButMaddoxwastheoneI’dheardendlessly.Ihadflashesofthecarridetothehospitalwithhim,sobbingasheheldmeinhislap.Icouldn’trecallthespecificwords,butIfelttheimpact.Thepain.Thedesperationinhisvoice.
Andhereinthehospital,Iheardthewords.
Howbadlyheneededme.
ButIwasn’tleavingMaddox.Itwouldtakealotmorethananicebathandaconcussiontopullmeawayfromthisman.Iwasjustresting.Justtired.
ButIknewitwastimetowakeupbecausehissadnessrockedme.
Ihatedthathewashurting.
He’dcriedwhenmyeyeshadopened.Kissedeveryinchofmyfaceandranouttogetthedoctor,andthenmymothercamerunninginshortlyafter.
Andfromthatmomenton,there’dbeentoomanypeopleintheroom.Wehadn’tbeenalone.ButeverytimeIlookedoverathim,hewaswatchingme.
Silentlyobserving.
Helookedexhausted.
Darkcirclesthatwereamixofblackandpurplesettledbeneathhiseyes.Hisscruffwasovergrown,andhewaswearingHugh’shoodie,alongwithapairofjoggers.
MymothertoldmethatMaddoxhadneverleftthehospital.Nottogetsomethingtoeat.Nottogohomeandsleeporchangeclothesortakeashower.
He’drefusedtoleaveme.
Buthe’dbarelyspokentome,asallmysiblings,myniece,andmyparentscrowdedtheroomthemorningafterI’dwokenup.
“Hey,I’mgoingtoletyoubewithyourfamily,okay?I’mgoingtoheadout.”Maddoxkissedmyforehead,andwhenhepulledbackandmygazelockedwithhis,Iknewsomethingwasoff.
Helooked…sadanddistantandlost
Maybeitwasexhaustion,Iwasn’tsure.
“Yeah.Ofcourse.I’mfine.Thanksfor—”Myeyeswelled,andIlookedaway.They’dalltoldmewhathappenednumeroustimes,andIhadflashesofmemories,butIknewthatMaddoxhadsavedmylife.“Pullingmeout,andbreathingforme,andstayingwithme.”
Therewasn’tenoughthatIcouldsaytothankhim.Mywordswerejumbled,andeventhoughI’dsleptfortwodays,Iwasexhausted.
Heputhisfingertomylips.“Youaretheonewhosavedyourself,Tink.Younearlyburstthroughthatice.You’restrongerthanyouthink.Getsomerest.”
Hishandslippedfrommine,andImissedhimtheminutehebackedawayfromme.
Forwhateverreason,itfeltlikegoodbye.
I’dfoughttocomebacktohim,andnowheseemedtobetheonepullingaway.
***
Cage
Howdoesitfeeltobehome?Doyouneedanything?Areyouokaytobebyyourself?
Brinkley
She’sbeenhomeforfiveminutes.Perhapsyoucouldwaitalittlebitbeforeyoustartfiringoffthequestions.
Finn
Momsaidthatyoudidn’twanthertostaywithyoutonight.Yousureyou’reokaytobebyyourself?
Hugh
LilaandIcouldbringyoudinnertonight?
I’mgood,guys.Ihaven’tbeenaloneindays.Ijustwanttohavealittlequiettime,takeabath,andgetinbedearly.
Theelephantintheroomwasthefactthatmyboyfriendhadleftthehospitalthreedaysago,andIhadn’theardfromhimsince.I’dcalledandtexted,buthehadn’tresponded.Andtheywereallafraidtoaskaboutitbecausenoonewantedtoupsetme.Buteveryonehadclearlynoticedhisabsence.
Noonemorethanme.
Andithurtlikehell.
Brinkley
Yousureyoudon’twanttosleepatMomandDad’shousetonight?
Hugh
Youalsohavearoomatmyhouse.Youdon’tneedtobealone.
Iknowyou’reallworriedbecauseMaddoxhasdisappearedonme.ButI’magrown-up.Idon’tneedtosleepatMomandDad’soratHugh’shouse.Idoknowhowtobealone.I’mfinehere.
Hugh
He’sprocessing,Georgie.Itwasalot.Heblameshimselffortheaccident.Thedudewasanabsolutemess.
Cage
Noquestionthathelovesyou.Justgivehimtime.He’llcomearound.
Finn
Itwasscary.Wethoughtwe’dlostyou,Georgie.Everyonedealswiththingsdifferently.
Brinkley
Yeah.Idon’tgivefuckinggracetoanyonethathurtsmysister.So,ifhedoesn’tgethisacttogetherquickly,hecansuckit.There,Isaidit.
Finn
TherearetimesIfeellikeBrinkswouldbebettersuitedtobeamobbossthanasportsreporter.
Hugh
Yes.She’stotallygivingoffgangstervibesatthemoment.Youterrifymesometimes,Brinks.
Cage
Normally,I’dagreewithyou,Brinks.ButIsawtheman.Isawthetormentandthehurt.HegaveherfuckingCPRandbroughtherbacktolife.Ithinkhegetsapasswhilehefigureshisshitout.
Brinkley
Touché.Isupposehedoesdeservecreditforpullingyououtofthefreezingcoldwater,breathinglifebackintoyou,andhaulingassdowntothehospital.Evenmafiabossescangivepassessometimes.
YoudorealizeI’monthisthread,right?Iknowwhathedid,andI’mgrateful.I’mnotmadatMaddoxforrunning.He’sscared,andIgetit.Ijusthopehefindshiswaybacktome
Finn
Shouldyougofindhim?
Nope.HeknowshowIfeel.I’mnotamysteryinanyway,shape,orform.I’vebeenhonestwithhim.So,he’llhavetocomebackonhisown,otherwisethiswillkeephappeningeverytimehegetsscared.
Hugh
Fuck.Thatwasdeep,girl.
Cage
Youamazeme,Georgie.Idon’tgiveyouenoughcreditforhowmuchyou’vegrownup.I’mproudofyou.
Finn
DidsomeonestealCage’sphone?
Cage
<middlefingeremoji>
Brinkley
Fine.Weletthebastardlive.Fornow.Buthebestfigureouthisshitquickly.
Hugh
Orwhat?Horseheadinthebed?
Cage
Canwenottalkaboutdeadanimals,please?Itookafewdaysoffworktobeatthehospital,andMrs.RemingtonhasbeenblowingupmyphonewithtextslettingmeknowthatMr.Wigglesteinwasstillsingle.Guessthefuckwhat?I’mstillsingle.Thepugisnodifferentfromanyotherdudeouttheretryingtosurvive.
Finn
Thefactthatyouputyourselfinthesameleagueasthepugsaysalot.Youchoosetobesingle,brother.Thereisaslewofwomenwhowouldn’tmindbeingMrs.DoctorReynolds.
Brinkley
Wait.Ifyoumarryadoctor,youdon’tgettousethetitleofdoctorinyoursalutation,doyou?
Hugh
Nofuckingway.Ifyoumarryafootballplayer,youdon’tgettocallyourselfaquarterback.
Cage
Whatthefuckareyoupeopletalkingabout?Areyoudrunk?
Finn
I’mthreesheetstodrunkville.Itwasajoke.Duh.Youpeoplehavenosenseofhumor.
Hugh
Didyoujustsay,duh?Thatwordissoover.Hell,ithasn’tbeenusedinyourlifetime.
Brinkley
Let’sreelitbackin.Youstillthere,Georgie?
Yes.I’menjoyingtherivetingconversation.Gettinginthetub.Loveyou,guys.
Cage
Textwhenyougetout,please.Youdidhaveaseriousconcussion,andIknowthatyouwouldliketohaveusallcallthecomaa“longnap”,butthetruthis,youwereinacoma.
Finn
Wow.Youreallyareadoctor.Impressiveadvice,Dr.Reynolds.
Hugh
Well,evenifitwasalongnap,youshouldstillletusknowwhenyou’reoutofthetub.Youdidhityourheadhard.Idon’tneedtobeadoctortoknowthat’sdangerous.
Brinkley
I’matyourfrontdoor,Georgie.Openup.I’msleepingover.
Finn
Well,that’sanotherwaytogoaboutit.Shesaidshewantedtobealone,sowhynotgorightoverthereandinsistsheletyouin?<laughingfaceemoji>
Brinkley
<middlefingeremoji>
IpaddedtothedoorandpulleditopentoseemysisterholdingabagfromCottonwoodCafé.
“Igotyouthemacandcheese.Iknowit’syourfavorite.”Shewalkedinanddroppedthebagontothecounterbeforewrappingherarmsaroundme.
Thetearsstartedtofall.Andforthefirsttimesincemyaccident,Iletmyselffallapart.Icriedforwhathappenedandthetraumathatitputeveryonethrough.Icriedforthefactthatmyfavoriteplacewasnowtaintedbythishorribleaccident.Butmostly,IcriedbecausethemanthatIlovedwashurting,andIcouldn’thelphim.
“You’reokay,Georgie,”Brinkleysaid,andtherewasacrackinhervoicewhenshesaidmyname.
Ipulledbackandswipedatmyface.“Wow.YouwerewillingtodealwithMrs.Runitherjusttogetmemyfavoritepasta?”
“It’sthedutyofbeingabigsister.Butshedidn’taskaboutmetonight.Sheonlytalkedaboutyou.”Shemovedtowardthebagandpulledoutthetwocontainers,settingthemupatthelittleislandcounterwherethetwobarstoolssat.
“Really?That’ssounlikeher.”
“Well,shestartedoutbyaskingifyouwereokay.Butthenherquestionswereallaboutyouandthehotbillionaire,andifyouwereboinkinghim.Shecommentedonhisheight.Hishands.Thatheappearedtohavelargefeet.Andthathisbroodydemeanorprobablymadehimalioninthebedroom.”
Myjawhungopen,andmytearsturnedtolaughter.“Sheisunbelievable.”
Brinkleyhandedmeafork,andshesatbesidemeandtookabite.“Itisdamngood.Totallyworththeawkwardconversation.”
Igroanedasthewarmcheesehitmysystem.“Igetthefascinationwiththeman.Hell,I’vebeenfascinatedbyhimsincethemomentwemet.”
“Youlovehim,huh?”
“Ido.”
“Haveyoutoldhim?”
“Yes.We’vesaidittooneanotherandIheardhimsayitwhenIwas,”Ipausedtoholdmypointerandmiddlefingersoneachhandtomakeairquotes,“takingalongnap.Iknowhelovesme.I’veknownforawhile.”
“Damn.That’skindofhot.”
“What?”Ismiledandsearchedhergaze.
“Thathestayedbyyoursideduringyourhospitalizednaptimeanddeclaredhislove.Andthenheranawaywhenyouwokeupbecausethepainofalmostlosingyouwastoomuch.Soundslikeagreatromancebook.”
Ichuckled.“Yeah,butthat’swhyromancebooksarefiction.Livingthatisnotascharming.Youdon’twanttohavetogothroughhelltobetogether,youknow?ButI’llmentionittoAshlan.Shecouldprobablyusethatplotinoneofherbooks.”
Therewasaknockonthedoor,andIstartled.
“DoyouthinkBossmansentyoumoreflowers?”Brinkleychuckledassheglancedaroundmyapartmentattheendlessarrangementsthathe’dsentsincehe’dleftthehospitalandhadn’tsaidwherehewasgoing.
Imovedtomyfeet,andwhenIopenedthedoor,mymouthfellopen.Dylan,Everly,Ashlan,Charlotte,andVivianstoodthere.Vivianhadalargepinkbakeryboxinherhands.
“Whatishappening?”Ishouted,andtheyrushedtowardmeoneatatime.
Oncethey’dhuggedmeandBrinkleyandpulledofftheircoats,Vivianhandedmetheboxofpastries.
“Wethoughtyoumightwantsomecupcakeswhenyougotoutofthehospital.”Shekissedmycheek.
EverlyflickedherfingeratDylan.“Weneededtoseethatyouwereokay.Andmoneybagsoverherehadherhusbandsendthehelicopterforus,andthenwegrabbedherinthecity,andhereweare.”
“Weknowyou’reexhausted.We’rejusthereforafewhours.Wecaneatcupcakesandlaughlikeoldtimes.”Ashlanwrappedanarmovermyshoulderandrestedherheadthere.
“Youknew,didn’tyou?”Ichuckledandglancedatmysister.
“I’mareporter,Georgie,Iknowallthings.Ofcourse,Iknew.Plus,someonehadtotellthemwhereyournewplacewas.So,wefiguredI’dfeedyourealfoodfirst,andthenwe’dbingeonVivi’scupcakes.”Shecarriedthebakeryboxdowntothecoffeetable,andweallfoundspotsonthecouchandhuddledtogether.
“Ican’tbelieveyouguysarehere,”Isaid,andmybottomlipstartedtotremble.Tearsbrokefree,andoncetheystarted,Icouldn’tstopthem.
ButIfeltalltheloverighthereinthisroom,anditwasexactlywhatIneeded.
“Iknowyouwentthroughsomeserioustrauma,”Charlottesaid,“butBrinksgaveustheshortversionaboutwhat’shappeningwithMaddox.Boysaresofreakingstupidsometimes.Iswear,theyputusthroughhellbeforetheysweepusoffourfeet.”
Everlyreachedforatissueonthecoffeetableandwipedatthetearsfallingdownmyface.“It’sallgoingtobeokay,Georgie.Everyonehandlestraumadifferently.Trustme,Icanvouchforthat.Iwasarunnermyself.Sometimes,thefearoflosingsomeoneissooverpoweringyoucan’tthinkstraight.”
“Butnoonerunsforever.He’llfigureitout,”Vivisaid,handingmeachocolatecupcakewithpinkicingformedintotheprettiestflower.“Iknowtheseareyourfavorite.”
“Cupcakesmakeeverythingbetter,don’tthey?”Ashlansaidasshereachedforavanillapastryfromthebox.
“Theyreallydo.”Brinkleytookabigbiteofthepink,sugaryicingandgroaned.“Thisisagoodtemporaryfix.”
“So,tellusaboutMaddoxLancaster.Wolfknowshimandsayshe’sabrilliantguy,andhereallylikeshim,”Dylansaidbeforewincing.“Ordowehatehimnow?BecauseIcanblowupaphotoofhimandgetussomedarts,andwecanbeattheshitoutofhimonpaperifyouwant.”
IlaughedandIcriedallatthesametime.
Thoughmybodywasstillrecovering,andmyheartwasaching…familyalwaysmadeeverythingbetter.
Evenifmyheartwasbeyondrepair,Iwasn’talone.
Butthethoughthadmychestachingagain.
BecauseIwonderedifMaddoxwasalone.
Sufferingallbyhimself.
Andthethoughtofhimhurtingmademyentirebodyache.thirty-twoMaddox
Therewasaknockonmyhotelroomdoor,andIgroaned.I’dalreadyordereddinner,andIdidn’twanttobebotheredbyanyone.
I’dcomestraighthereafterI’dleftthehospital.
AfterIknewGeorgiawasokay.
Everythinghadcomecrashingdownonmewhensheopenedhereyes.
Ithadn’thappenedwhenshe’dfallenthroughtheice,orwhenI’dgivenherCPR.Almostlikemybodyhadbeeninfight-or-flightmode,andI’dfoughtlikehelltogethertothehospital.Tomakesureshewasokay.
Butfromtheminutethosesapphireblueshadlockedwithmine…TheminuteI’dheardherhoarsevoicespeak…
Mybodyhadhadavisceralreaction.
FlashbacksofmymothernotrespondingwhenI’dbreathedintohermouthanddesperatelypumpedmyhandsdownonherchest.Memoriesofherlifelessbodybeingtakenfromourhome.
IfeltlikeIwasrelivingitalloveragain.
AndIcouldn’tgetthethoughtofGeorgialyingontheicewithbluelips,herbodycompletelystill,outofmyhead.
AllowingmyselftolovesomeonethewaythatIlovedherhadbeenarecklessdecision.
I’dfuckedup.
BecauseIwouldnotsurvivelosingthiswoman.
Ilookedthroughthepeepholeandgroaned.WhythefuckwasWylehere?
Ipulledthedooropen.“DidyounotgetmytextthatsaidIwasfineandthatIdidn’twantcompany?”
Hestrolledpastme.“Ofcourse,Igotit.Ijustdon’tgiveafuckwhatyousaid.”
Imovedtotheminibarofmysuiteandpouredmyselfanotherwhiskeystraightupandtippedmyheadback,allowingthecoolliquidtowarmmythroat.
“So,what’stheplan,Maddox?You’rejustgoingtohideoutherebecauseyourgirlfriendalmostdied?Ithoughtyouwerethematurebrother.”
“Fuckyou.Youhavenoideawhatwentdown.YouhavenofuckingideawhatI’vegonethrough.Theshitinmyhead.”Ipointedmyfingerinhisface,andheslappeditaway.
“Don’tbeadick.I’veaskedyouhundredsoftimestotalktomeafterthatnightwithMom,andyoushutmedownoverandover.Sodon’tplaythatcardwithme,brother.TellmewhathappenedwithGeorgia.Iknowshefellthroughtheice,andyougothertothehospital.ButIwanttoknowwhat’sgoingoninthatheadofyours.What’sgotyousofuckedup?”
IshovedpasthimanddroppedtositonthechairnexttothedeskthatI’dbeenworkingat.“It’sjusttoomuch,youknow?Shealmostdied,Wyle.Itookheroutthere.Andshewasdancingoutonthefuckingicelikealittlefairy,andthen—”Ilookedawayandglancedoutthewindowatthetallbuildingsoutsideasthelastbitofsunlightdisappearedbehindtheclouds.“Shewasgone.Withoutwarning.AndwhenIpulledherout…”
Hepouredhimselfadrinkandpulledupachairbesidethetableandmoveditrightinfrontofme,ourkneesalmosttouching.“Thathadtobefuckingterrifying.Wasshebreathingwhenyoupulledherout?”
Isuckedinadeepbreathbeforelettingalltheairexitmylungs.“Herlipswereblue.Shewasn’tbreathing.Iturnedhertothesideandslappedherbackhard,tryingtoexpelthewaterfromherairways.AndthenIdidCPRuntilshestartedbreathing.AndtherewasallthisbloodandIdidn’tknowwhatthefucktodo.Icalled911,buttheycouldn’tgettherequickenough.So,Iwrappedherup,andshewascompletelylifeless.Unconscious.ButIknewshewasbreathing.”
Hecoveredmyhandwithhis,andIstartled.Lancastersweren’ttouchy-feelypeople.“ThathadtobringupsomememoriesaboutthenightyoufoundMom.”
“Itdidn’tatfirst.Notuntilaftershewokeup.Andthenithitmelikeatonoffuckingbricks.”Iscrubbedahandovermyface.“Fuck,Wyle.IfIlosther,I’dbedone.Sofuckingdone.HowdidIletmyselfgethere?”
“Youloveher,andlovingsomeoneisscaryashell.Butyou’rehidinghereinthecity,talkingabouthowshecouldhavedied,andyouwouldhavelosther—yetyouaren’twithhernow,whensheneedsyoumost?”
Myheadsnappedup.“Iwastherewhensheneededme.Ineverlefther.”
“Yeah.Youstayedwhenshewasinacoma,brother.Andthenyoutookofftheminuteshewokeup.That’salittlefuckedup.”
“I’mintoofuckingdeep,Wyle.Ineededtoknowshewasokay,butthisistoomuchforme.I’vegottobecarefulmovingforward.Ithurtstoomuch.AndItookheroutthere,youknow?WhatkindofshitboyfriendamI?InearlykilledheronValentine’sDay.ThefirstgirlI’veeverloved.I’mnotcutoutforthisshit.”
Hetippedhisheadbackandfinishedtheamberliquidinhisrocksglassandsetitdownonthedesk.“Listentoyourself.You’remakingnofuckingsense.Firstofall,herfallingthroughtheicehadnothingtodowithyou.Itwasshittyluck.Shithappens,Maddox—webothknowthat.Itwasoutofyourcontrol.Youcouldhavetakenhertoafancyrestaurantandgottenintoacaraccidentonthewaythere.Thatwouldnotbeanymoreyourfaultthanthiswas.Ashitboyfrienddoesnotplungehalfhisbodyintothefreezingwater,which,bytheway,youcouldhavefallenthroughthaticeyourself.Goingouttherewasrisky.Butyoudiditbecauseyouloveher.Youfuckingriskedyourlifeforher,man.”HeslappedmeonthearmwhenIstaredoutthewindowandwaitedformetolookathim.“Seeingherlikethat,I’msureitfuckedyouup.EspeciallyafterwhathappenedwithMom.ButGeorgiadidn’tdie,Maddox.She’saliveandwell.Andthere’salwaysariskwhenyoulovesomeone,butwe’reallgoingtodieeventually.There’snorisk-freewayaroundit.Itdoesn’tmeanthatyoustoplovingjustbecauseyoumightlosethatpersonsomeday.Guesswhat,Harvard,youwill.Weallwill.Youjusthavetolovethebestyoucanwhileyoucan,right?”
Hiseyessearchedmine,andIshookmyhead.“Whatthefuckishappeninghere?Whoareyou,andwhathaveyoudonewithmyunemotionalbrother?”
“Hey,Iguessthiswasawake-upcallforallofus.IthinkweallshutdownafterwelostMom,and,man,shewouldbesopissedaboutthat.Shewasallaboutfeelings,youknow?Aboutlovingoneanother.”
“Yeah.”Inodded.Iwassotired,andIdidn’tknowwhatthefuckIwasdoinganymore.
“Shewouldbesopissedatyourightnow.”Hebarkedoutalaugh.
“Fuckyou.Shewouldnot.Shenevergotmadatme.”
Awidegrinspreadacrosshisface.“True.But…youwentthroughallthoseheroicmeasurestosavethegirl.Hell,youbreathedlifeintoherandwouldn’tleaveherside.Andthenshewakesup,andyoutapout?That’sfuckedup,brother.”
Iscrubbedahanddownmyface.“Igetit.I’madumbass.Thetruthis,Ididn’tknowIwascapableoflovingsomeonethewaythatIloveher,andthatscarestheshitoutofme.”
“You’veneverbeenacoward.Manthefuckup.”
“Okay,canwegivetheoffensivepeptalkarestandletmeprocessthis?HowdidyouknowIwasevenhere?”Ihissed.
“HughReynoldsmusthavegottenmynumberoutofhissister’sphone.Hecalledme.Saidhewasworriedaboutyou.He’dgonebyyourhouse,andnooneattheofficehadseenyousinceyouleftthehospital.So,Icalledthehotel,foundoutyouwerehere,andcamerightover.Iwasactuallyinthecity,meetingwithGrandfather.IthinkI’mgoingtojointheworldagain.You’veinspiredme.IagreedtotakeapositionworkingwithDad.I’minterestedinrealestate.WhatcanIsay?”
“Well,aren’tyoujustfullofsurprises?”
Therewasanotherknockonthedoor,andIrolledmyeyes.“WhenItoldthefrontdeskIdidnotwanttobedisturbed,thatseemstohavebeenaninvitationtoknockonmydooreveryfivefuckingminutes.”
“Listen,I’mmeetingawomandownatthebar.ButIsentthissurprisetoyoumyself.You’rewelcome.”Hemarchedtothedoorandpulleditopen,andIstoodthere,stunnedtoseeAlanaReynoldsontheothersideofthedoor.
“Whatareyoudoinghere?”
“She’syourtherapist.HughandIboththoughtyouweredueforasession.You’vegotanhour,andthehelicopteriswaitingtotakeherhome.”Wyleshruggedandwinkedatme.
Thelittlefucker.
“I’msorryyoucameallthisway,”Isaid,holdingmyhandoutforhertowalkin.
“Goodluck,Alana.He’satoughnuttocrack,”Wylesaidashemadehiswayoutthedoorbeforelettingitshutbehindhim.
Ipulledachairoutbesidethetable,andshetookherseat.
“CanIgetyousomethingtodrink?”Iasked.
“I’mgoodfornow,butthankyou.”
Isettledinthechairacrossfromher.“ShouldyoubeawayfromGeorgiarightnow?”
Shesmiled.“Georgiaisokay,Maddox.Shewasreleasedfromthehospital,andhercousinsallflewtoCottonwoodCovetosurpriseher,andshe’sdoingreallywell.Istoppedbythisafternoonandsawallthearrangementsthatyousent.”
Iclearedmythroat.“IwantedhertoknowthatIwasthinkingofher.”
“Ithinksheknows.”
“Youdon’tseemlikeyou’repissedatme…”Ileanedbackinmychair.
“I’mnot.I’myourtherapistrightnow,andI’mheretotalkaboutyou.Youareclearlygoingthroughsomething,andIwanttohelpyou.”
“Ileftyourdaughterwhensheneededmemost,”Isaid,raisingabrow,almostbegginghertogetangrywithme.Thatwouldmakethingseasier.
Hereyeswidened.“Mydaughterneededyoumostwhenyoupulledheroutoftheiceandrushedhertothehospital.HowcouldIbeanythingotherthangrateful?IknowhowmuchyouloveGeorgia.”
“Idon’tknowwhyIran.Andnow,Idon’treallyknowhowtofixit.ThisfeelingthatIcouldloseher—it’soverpoweringme.I’mdrowninginfear,”Iadmitted.
Sheleanedforwardandtookmyhand.“Iknowwhyyouran.”
“Why?”
“Thosefirstfewdaysinthehospital,whenshewasinacomaandwedidn’tknowifshewasgoingtowakeup,youwereinshock.You’dexperiencedsomethingtraumatizing,justlikeshedid.Butyourswasn’tvisibletotheoutsideworld.Butthatfear,theflashbacksofthatterrorizingmoment,seeingherthewayyoudid…”Sheswipedatthetearrunningdownherface.“Doingwhatyoudidthatdaywasnoteasy.Youstayedcalmandincontrol.Youdidwhatneededtobedone.Andnow…it’snoteasyeither.Toprocessallthathappened.Torealizethatyoulovesomeonesodeeply,andthefearoflosingthemhitsyousmackdabintheface.Especiallywhenyoucombineallofthiswiththefactthatyou’vebeenthroughasimilartraumawithyourmother,andyoudidn’tgetthisoutcome.It’shumannaturetothinkofallthatcouldhavegonewrong.So…you’reprocessingitall,Maddox.”
“Butsheneedsme.”
“Georgiaisastronggirl.ButIdothinkyoutalkingtoheraboutthiswouldbehelpfulforbothofyou.Sheknowsyouloveher.That’snotwhat’shurtingher.”
“Whatdoyoumean?Isshenotrecoveringwell?”Ipushedtomyfeetasmyheartstartedracing.
Shestood,akindsmilespreadingacrossherface.“No.She’sphysicallyontheroadtorecoveryanddoingwell.She’shurtingbecausesheknowsthatyou’rehurting.Shedoesn’tlikeknowingthatyou’realoneanddealingwiththisonyourown.”
“Mysweetfuckingfairy,”Iwhisperedundermybreath,butAlanachuckled,whichmademethinksheheardme.
“Ihaveone-hundred-percentfaithinyou,MaddoxLancaster.”Shesqueezedmyhand.
“IguessI’vebeenbashingmyfatherforleavingmymotherwhenshewassick,andnow,lookatthewaythatIran.”Ishrugged.IhatedthethoughtthatIcouldbeanythinglikehim.“Iguessthatmakesmeahypocrite.”
“Youandyourfatherareverydifferentpeople,Maddox.Iknowthat.Youknowthat.Youdidn’tleaveGeorgiawhensheneededyou.Nooneisquestioningyourloyalty.Takingastepawaywhenyou’reterrifiedisokay.Whathedidwascompletelydifferent.Butmaybethere’sapartofyouthatcanforgivesomeofhisactions,becausetheystemmedfromfear.Yes,hemadesomereallybadchoicesafterthat,andthat’sonhim.Andwhatyoudomovingforwardisonyou.”
Sheleanedupandkissedmycheek.“You’reagoodman,Maddox.Ihaveallthefaithinyou.I’llseeyoubackinCottonwoodCovenextweekforourusualappointment?”
“Thanksforcoming.I’mgoingtofigurethisout.”
“Idon’tdoubtthatforaminute.”Sheheldherhandup.“I’vegotahelicoptertocatch.”
“Thanksagain,”Isaidasshemadeherwaydownthehallway.
Iclosedthedoorandsqueezedmyeyesclosed.
WhatthefuckwasIdoing?WasIreallygoingtoletfearstopmefrombeingwiththewomanIloved?
Fuckno.
Timetosoberupandgetmyshittogether.
Andbygetmyshittogether,Imeantgetmygirlback.
Becausenothingworkedwithouther.thirty-threeGeorgia
IwalkedintotheofficeandwasgreetedbyafacethatIdidn’trecognize.Shelookedtobealittleolderthanme,withakindsmile.
“Hey,I’mGeorgia.Youmustbethenewreceptionist?”
“Georgia,hey.Yes.I’veonlybeenhereforaweek.MynameisHalle,andIstartedwhenyouwereinthehospital.Everyonewassoworried.I’vebeensoexcitedtomeetyouasyouwereinameetingthedaythatIinterviewedwithyourboyfriend,”shesaid,beforecoveringhermouthandshakingherhead.“AmIsupposedtoknowthat?Anyway,Ihaven’tseenthebosssinceIstartedhere.Willhebeintoday,too?”
“That’sokay.It’snotasecretthatwe’retogether.”I’dleaveoutthefactthatIhadn’theardfromsaidboyfriendinseveraldays.“Hehasn’tbeenin?”
“No.NotsinceIstartedherelastweek.”
Somuchhadhappenedinthelastweekandahalf.Itfeltlikeyearshadpassed.
MaddoxandIhaddeclaredourlovetooneanother,I’dfallenthroughtheice,died,comeback,slippedintoacoma,recoveredasquicklyasI’dbeenwounded,andthemanwhomInormallyspoketoahundredtimesaday,whohadn’tleftmysidetheentiretimeIwasinacoma,hadleftwithoutsayingwherehewasgoing.
Butheownedthecompany.Hecouldn’thideforever.
“Well,he’llbeinsoon.It’sgreattomeetyou.Welcometotheteam.You’regoingtoloveworkinghere.”
Imademywaytowardthestairs,andeveryonecameoutoftheirofficestogreetme.They’dallsentflowersandcookiesandallsortsoftreatswhileI’dbeeninthehospital.Itookturnshuggingeveryone,andevenNadiaWrightlookedemotionalwhenshesqueezedmyhand.
“We’vemissedyou.Bothofyou.IsMaddoxcomingbacktoday?”
Alumpformedinmythroat,butIforcedasmile.“He’llbebacksoon.He’sjusttakingcareofafewthings.”
FreddyandCraigtoldmethey’dbewaitingformeatlunchtodefendmyping-pongtitle.
Sydneytoldmeshehadlotsofgoodofficescooptofillmeinon,andshefollowedmeupthestairs.“IwascryingattheofficeonedaybecauseI’dbeensoworriedaboutyou,andFreddyconsoledme.He’ssincetakenmetodinner,andwe’resortofsecretlydating.”
“Ilovethat.”Ishookmyheadandsmiled.“Twoofmyfavoritepeoplearedating.That’samazing.”
“Ahhh…wemissedallthatsunshineattheoffice,Georgia.Sohappyyou’reback.Where’stheboss?”
Iclearedmythroat.“Heistakingcareofafewthingsforhisfamily.He’llbebacksoon.I’llseeyouatlunch.”
“Thankyou.I’mguessinghe’stheonewhosentalltheflowersthismorning?”shesaidassheturnedtojogdownthestairs.
Ihadn’treceivedanyflowersthismorning.I’dgottenafewmorearrangementsyesterday,andIalwayssentatextlettinghimknowthatIreceivedthem,andImissedhim.Iwasn’tgoingtobeghimtocomebacktome.Notafterallwe’dbeenthrough.Iknewhewasgoingthroughsomething,andheneededtodoitonhisown.
Heneverrespondedtothetexts.Hejustsentmoreflowers.
Bossmanneverdidanythingtheeasyway.
Likepickingupaphoneandtellingmewhathewasgoingthrough.
Nope.Hejustfilledmyhousewithpeoniesandhydrangeasandeverysinglecardsaidthesamething.
Iloveyou.M.
“Georgia!”Virginiasquealedfrombehindmyolddesk.Mychestsqueezedatthesightofhersittinginmyspot.Theplacewhereitallstarted.
Thatfeltlikeitwassolongago.
“Hi!Thankssomuchforallthesweettreatsyoudroppedoffformeatthehospital.”
“Ofcourse.Boy,didwemissyou.Thebosscalledtomakesureyourofficewasallsetupforyouthismorning.”
“Oh,really?Didhesaywhenhewascomingin?”Iasked,tryingnottosounddesperate.
Shelookedatme,alittlepuzzled.Obviously,everyoneknewweweretogether,buttheydidn’tknowthathe’dleftafterI’dwokenuporthatwehadn’tspokenindays.
“Hedidn’tsay.ButI’mguessinghe’stheonewhosentyouallthegorgeousarrangements.Ihadthembroughtintoyouroffice.”
Imovedaroundthecorner,andshewasrightbehindme.Therewasanameplateonthewalloutsidemyofficethatread:GeorgiaReynolds,CreativeDirector
MybreathlodgedinmythroatwhenIsteppedinsidetoseethewhitedesk,floor-to-ceilingbookshelvesthatranalongonewall,andeveryopensurfacewascoveredwithafloralarrangement.
Ineededaminute.
IwasconfusedandtiredandsuddenlyfeelingangrythatthemanjustkeptsendingflowersthatIdidn’tcareaboutinsteadofshowingupandtalkingtome.
“I’mjustgoingtogetsettledinhere.Thanksforeverything.”
Shesmiled.“ShouldIbringyouacupofcoffee?”
“I’mokayfornow,butthankyou.”Iclosedthedoor,desperateforaminutealone.
Ithurtthateveryonewasaskingabouthim,andtheyallexpectedmetoknowwherehewas.
Becausehewasmyboyfriend,afterall.
AndthemanthatIloved.
Hedidn’tgettojustrunawayfrommeeverytimehewasscared.
Ipickedupmyphoneandletoutalongbreath.
Hey.Stopsendingthearrangements.Enoughflowershavebeensacrificedforthefactthatyou’retoocowardlytotellmewhat’sgoingon.
And,ofcourse,youaren’tgoingtoanswer.That’syourthing,right?Well,I’mdonewiththisridiculoussituation.
Yes,itwasscary.IhatethatourfirstValentine’sDaytogetheristaintedbyallthetraumathatwenton.Butyoudon’tseemerunningaway,doyou?
Idied.Youbroughtmeback.We’reallgood.Getoverit.
I’mthrowingalltheflowersinthegarbage.I’mnotacceptinganotherdeliveryuntilyouspeaktome.
Ispentthenextfewhoursgoingthroughemailsandreadingafewsubmissions.
“Hey,”Sydneysaidasshestoodinthedoorway.“Weorderedtakeoutinhonorofyourfirstdayback.Canyousneakawayforlunchnow?”
Sheglancedaroundtheroomatthefloralarrangementsandgasped.Ihadn’tliveduptothethreatofthrowingtheminthegarbage.Thatwasjustmehavingameltdown.“IwouldneverhaveguessedMaddoxLancasterwassucharomanticguy.Healwaysseemssointimidatingandgrumpytoeveryoneelse.Butwithyou…”Shemovedtooneofthearrangementsandleaneddowntosmellthepeonies.“He’sjustsodifferentwithyou.”
“Inwhatway?”IaskedbecauseIneededareminderatthemoment.
“It’ssomethingthat’shardtoexplain.Butyouknowhowwebothloveourromancebooks?”
“Yes.”
“Well,theheroisalwayssoconsumedbytheheroine,right?That’swhatwelovesomuch.Andthat’showMaddoxiswithyou.It’slikenooneelseexists.”Sheshruggedasshewalkedtowardthedoor.“Wewereallimaginingthathewasgluedtoyoursidewhenyouwereinthehospital,andnooneknewifyouweregoingtowakeupornot.Thatmusthavebeenterrifyingforhim.Youknow,whenyourealizeyou’vefoundyourpersonandthenyouthinkyoumighthavelostthem…Ahhh…Ican’timagine.”
IthoughtaboutherwordsasIfollowedherdownthestairs.Mychestwasheavy,andIstoppedintheloungewheretheyhadpizzaandsaladssetup.Therewasacakethatread:WelcomeBack!IthadaniceskateonitwithabigredX,whichactuallymademechuckleforthefirsttimesinceIthoughtabouttheaccident.
Myfatherhaddonesomediggingandfoundoutthatakidhadtakenhissnowmobileontheiceearlierthatday,andsomeonehadreportedhimtotheparkdistrict,andhe’dbeencited.Buttheyhadn’tmadeitouttochecktheiceforsafetyyet.
Notmanypeoplewentoutthere,sounfortunately,I’dmostlikelybeenthefirstpersontostepoutontheiceafter.
Ihadn’thadmuchofanappetitesinceI’dreturnedhomefromthehospital,butIpickedatmypizzaandtriedhardtofocusontheconversation.
ButmymindkeptwanderingtoMaddox
AndwhatSydneyhadsaid.
Ipulledoutmyphoneandsentanothertext.
Ignorethoseearliertexts.Theflowersarefine.Youcankeepsendingthemforaslongasyouneedto.Iloveyou,Bossman.
Freddyconvincedmetoplayagameofping-pong,andtheonlyreasonIwasbeatinghimwasbecausehekeptgettingdistractedbySydney,whowascheeringandgigglingasweralliedbackandforth.Myheadwasn’tinit.
Andmyheart…itwasn’tevenmineanymore.
“Lunchbreakisover,”adeepvoicesaidfrombehindme.“Getbacktowork.”
IwhippedaroundtoseeMaddoxstandingthereinapairofdarkjeans,acrispwhitebutton-up,andanavybluesportscoat.Heheldalargewhiteboxwithaprettyredribbontiedaroundit.
Everyonehustled,sayingtheirhellosandwelcomebackstohim,and,ofcourse,hecompletelyignoredthem.
Buthisdarkeyeswereonme.
“Suchleadingmanenergy,”Sydneywhisperedasshesqueezedmyarmandmovedtowardheroffice.
“Hey.”
“Hey,”Isaid,notmoving,theping-pongpaddlestillinmyhand.
“Igotyourtexts,andIknowyou’retiredoftheflowers,soIthoughtI’dcomeseeyouinstead.”
“Idon’tneedflowers,Maddox,”Iwhisperedasatearstreameddownmycheek.
“Whatdoyouneed,Tink?”
Isetthepaddledownwhenhemovedcloser,andIlookedupathim.“Ineedyou.”
“I’myours.Ihavebeensincethefirstdayyouflutteredintomyoffice.”Hesetthepackagedownontheping-pongtable,andhishandlandedonmyneck,fingersgrazingmycheek.
“Why’dyouleave?”
Hesuckedinadeepbreathandthenletitout.“BecausenearlylosingyoumademerealizehowmuchIloveyou,andthatscaredtheshitoutofme.Idon’twanttoliveinaworldthatyouaren’tin,Georgia.”
“Idon’teither.ButI’mnotrunningawayfromyoubecauseofit.”Iraisedabrowinchallenge.
“Well,ifyouran,Iwouldcatchyou.Everysinglefuckingtime.”
“Youcan’trunfromthis,”Iwhispered.
“Iknow.I’msorry,Tink.That’swhyI’mhere.Itwascowardly,andIdon’thaveanexcuseotherthanIwasterrifiedIwasgoingtoloseyou.Igiveyoumyworditwon’thappenagain.”Heleanedforwardandswipedatthetearsrunningdownmyfaceashisforeheadrestedagainstmine.
“Iacceptyourapology.Pleasedon’ttellmethatthosearetheskatesyouweregivingtomeonValentine’sDay,”Isaid,glancingatthewhitebox.
“Hellno.You’reneverputtingonanotherpairofskates,ifIhaveasayinit.We’rekeepingyouonsolidground,movingforward.”Hepulledbackandhandedmethebox.“ButtherewassomethingelseinthatboxwiththeskatesthatInevergottogiveyou.So,Iwentwithsomethingdifferent.”
Itookthebowoffashishandsettledonmyhip,andhesmiled.Ipulledoutapinkhelmetthathadmynamepaintedinwhiteontheside.“Whatisthisfor?”
“Pickleball,baby.I’mnotlettingyouplayanysportswithouttheproperequipmenteveragain.Infact,youshouldwearitwhenyouplayping-pong.Whoknowswhatcouldhappenwiththatlittleball?”
Myheadtippedbackinafitoflaughter.Itfeltsogoodtolaughagain.“Iamnotwearingthishelmetattheofficetoplayping-pong,youoverbearingbruteofaman.”
“Lookinsidethehelmet.There’sasurprisetuckedinthereatthetop.”
Iflippeditoverandsawsomethinggoldandsparkly.Tuggingthekeyoutoftheinteriorstrap,Ihelditup.“What’sthis?”
“Ahousekey.Iwantedtoaskyoutomoveinwithmebeforeyoufuckingplungedintotheice,andIthoughtmyworldhadcometoanend.”Hetuggedmeagainsthisbody.
“Youwantmetolivewithyou,huh?”Ibitdownonmybottomlip.
“Ireallydo.”
“I’monaleaseatmyrentalhouse,though.”Ishrugged,knowingthathewouldn’tcareaboutthat.
“Iboughtyourrentalhouseweeksago.I’myourlandlord,baby.AndIinsistthatyoumoveinwithyourboyfriend.I’vehatedeverysecondthatI’vebeenawayfromyou.”
“Me,too.”
“So,isthatayes?”Hebenthiskneessothathewasateyelevelwithme.
“It’salwaysayesforyou.”
Hismouthcrashedintomine,histongueslippinginside,withnotacareintheworldthatwewereinthemiddleoftheoffice.Iheardclappingandcheering,andwebothpulledaway.
Maddoxglancedoverateveryonewatchingandrolledhiseyes.“Doesnooneknowhowtoworkanymore?”
Hisvoicewasalltease,andhegentlykissedthestitchesthatstillremainedonmyforeheadbeforescoopingmeupandcradlingmeinhisarmsaseveryonelaughed.Hetookthestairstwoatatimeashehurriedmetomyoffice,passingVirginiaandholdinghishanduplikehedidn’thavetimeforquestions.IchuckledasIheldthekeyinmygriplikeitwasalifeline.
Ourlifeline.
Thestartofourfuture.
AndIcouldn’twaittogetstarted.thirty-fourMaddox
“Andthat’showyoudoit.Winnersgonnawin,andlosersgonnalose!”Georgiashouted,doingsomesortofcrazydanceasshetwirledaroundinherlittleskirtwithtightsbeneathitbecauseitwasstillchillyinCottonwoodCove.
SherefusedtowearthehelmetI’dboughther,eventhoughthefreakingballpeggedherinthecheekwhenshewasplayingwithherbrother,Cage,lastweek.He’dlookedoveratmesheepishlywhenI’dgrowledathim,andtherestofhersiblingsthoughtitwashilarious.
Normally,Idespisedlosing.Butlosingtothisgirlfeltlikeawin.
Ilovedherexcitementandenthusiasmforthesmallestthingsinlife.She’dalreadytaughtmesomuchaboutliving.HereI’dbeentheonebornintothiswealthyfamily,whereI’dneverwantedforanything.I’dtraveledtheworldandexperiencedthingsmostpeoplewouldneverexperience.YetGeorgiaReynoldswasteachingmeaboutlife.
Aboutliving.
Reallyliving.
Playingpickleball,picnicsatthepark,walkingalongthecove,andSundaydinnerswithfamily.
We’dbeenlivingtogetherfortwoweeks,andtosaythatthingsweregoodwouldbeamassiveunderstatement.
IwantedthingsthatI’dneverthoughtI’dwant.
Andtheyallrevolvedaroundher.
Ifollowedherinsideasthesunwasjuststartingtogodown,andshesaidthatshehadasurpriseforme.
“Whatareyouupto?”Iaskedaswewalkedthroughtheopeningatthebackofthehousethatwasallglass,andtheentirewallopenedtotheoutdoors.Weleftitopenwhenwewerehomebecausewewerebackeduptomountainsandagorgeousviewoftheocean.
“Iknowit’shardtolose,soI’mgoingtodosomethingniceforyou.Youjustsitdownonthatcouch,Bossman.I’llberightback.”
Irolledmyeyesbecauseshelovedtorubitinwhenshebeatme.Iactedannoyed,eventhoughIfuckinglovedeverysecondofit.
Isatbackonthelargesectionalcouchandglancedaroundtheroom.Therewerephotoshangingonthewallsnow.
Picturesofmybrotherandmeandeventhephotowe’dtakenatmyfather’sreceptionhunginagorgeousframeonthewall.Thephotoofmybrotherandmewithmymotherwasblownupandhangingamongsttheothers,aswell.PhotosofGeorgia’sfamilydonnedthewalls,too.Butmyfavoritephotowastheoneofmeandmygirlsittingunderthestars.Itwaswhatwedideverynightnowbeforewewenttobed.
Andascornyasitsounded,Ithankedmyluckyfuckingstarseverysingledayforthisgirl.
Forthewayshe’dbreathedlifebackintome.
Theironywasnotlostonme.EventhoughI’dbeentheonewho’dliterallyresuscitatedher,she’dactuallybeentheonetobringmebacktolife.
“Youready?”sheshoutedfromaroundthecorner.
“Bornready,baby,”Isaid,usingthewordsshe’dsaidtomesomanytimes.
“Alexa,play‘SlowRide’byFoghat,”sheorderedourlittlespeakerinthekitchen.
ThenextthingIknew,heroddchoiceofmusicstartedplayingloudly.Itwasthesongshealwaysplayednow,sinceI’dtoldherthatwasthedaythatI’dfalleninlovewithherwithoutevenknowingit.Thedayshe’ddancedaroundmyclosetlikeafuckingrockstar.
Shecamearoundthecornerwearingherpickleballskirt,minusthetights,alittlewhitetanktop,andmygrandfather’scowboyhat.Sheworeherinfamouswidegrinasshestrodetowardme,andherfeetwerebare.
Shestartedsingingthelyricstome,andIleanedback,enjoyingtheshow.
Shemovedcloser,climbingontomylap,onelegmovingtoeachsidesoshewasstraddlingme.
Myhandsmoveduphertoned,leanthighs,andshejustcontinuedsingingasshesmileddownatme.
Myfingersmovedtotheapexofherthighs,andIstrokedoverherthinlacepantiesasherheadfellback,andshegasped.
Wecouldn’tgetenoughofeachother.
Anditwasn’tforlackofeffort.
HerhandsfoundmyshouldersasIslippedmyfingersbeneathherpanties.
“Youwantaslowride,baby?”Ipurred,andshebitdownonthatjuicybottomlipofhersasIstrokedalongallherwetnessasshegroaned.
Ireacheddownandshovedmyjoggersdownmythighs,freeingmyever-eagercock,whocouldn’tgetenoughofthisgorgeouswoman.Hergazelockedwithmine,twodimplesonfulldisplayasshesmiledbeforeslidingdownmythickerection,inchbygloriousfuckinginch.
IheldherstillonceIwasallthewayin,becauseIjustwantedtosavorthemoment.BecausewhenIwaswiththiswoman,IwasexactlywhereIwantedtobe.
I’dfoundmyhomeandmyjoyandmyhappinessinthislittlebundleofabeautifulwomanwithsapphireeyes,aheartofgold,andthesweetestpussyknowntoman.
Igrippedherhipsandhelpedherslideupanddownmyerection,slowlyatfirst.Ituggedathertanktopandpulleddownthestraps,needingtoseeherbeautifulbody,nudgingherbradownasmymouthcameoverherperfecttits,oneatatime.Iflickedmytongueatherhardpeaksasshesuckedinabreathandherheadfellback.
Sherodemeintofuckingoblivion.
AndIneverwantedittoend.
Herhandsgrippedmyshoulders,andIknewexactlywhatsheneeded.
BecauseIkneweveryinchofthiswoman’sbody.
Imovedmyhandbetweenus,rubbinglittlecirclesoverherclit,justthewayshelikedit.
“Yesss,”shehissed,asshemovedfaster.
Iwrappedmyhandaroundherneckandpulledhermouthdowntomine,andIkissedherhard.Mytongueslidinandoutatthesamerhythmasmydick.
Shemoanedintomymouthjustassheexploded.
Herbodyshookaslittlegaspslefthersexymouth,andIpumpedintoheroncemore.
Andthatwasallittook.
Iwentrightovertheedgewithher.
JustlikeIalwaysdid.
***
Wyle
IthinkI’mgoingtobuyaplaceinCottonwoodCove.NowthatI’mlivinginthecity,IwanttohaveaplaceIcangotoontheweekends.
I’dbeentellinghimhowwetooktheboatoutthelastfewweekends,andheknewhowmuchIlikedlivingherenow.
Dadsaidhewantstogetaplaceherenow,too.You’reallsofuckingclingy.
Wyle
It’sallyourfault.
Howisthismyfault?
Wyle
Whenthegrumpiestdudeontheplanetislivinghisbestlife,peopletakenotice,dickhead.
BecauseI’mhappy,you’reallgoingtopunishmebymovinghere?
HeknewIwaskidding,becausehavingWylenearbyhadbeenreallynice.Myfamilywasslowlyhealingfromalltheangerandlossthatwe’dexperienced.Myfatherwasn’tmyfavoriteperson,nordidIeverthinkwe’dbeclose,butIwasn’tgoingtoicehimoutanymore.Clairewasagoodwoman,andtheywerehavingababy,andforwhateverreason,Ididn’twanttomissoutonthat.Westillhadworktodo,butweweremovingintherightdirection.
Wyle
Damnstraight.CanGeorgiasetmeupwithsomeofherfriends?
Well,thefactthatyouwanthertosetyouupwithmultiplewomenisabadsign.She’snotgoingtogoforthat.
Wyle
Idon’tknow.Yourgirlisprettysoftonme.ShebakedmemyfavoritecookieswhenIwasintownlastweek.Youbetterwatchyourback,brother.
Notafuckingchance.Shelikesthebroody,brillianttype.
Wyle
Eventhoughyou’reanarrogantfucker,I’mhappyforyou,Maddox.Youdeservethis.
Nowyou’regoingsoftonme?
Wyle
Nothingsoftoverhere,brother.AndifyoutellanyonewhatIsaid,I’lldenyitandtellthemthatyouusedtosleepwiththatpenguinstuffedanimalMomgotyouuntilyouwerethirteen.
Thatwasyou,asshole.Loveyou,too.
Wyle
Yeah,yeah,yeah.Loveyou,dickhead.Seeyouinafewdays.You’recomingtolookatspechomeswithmeonSaturday.
IlaughedwhenIsetmyphonedownandlookedbackatmycomputermonitor.Ournumberswereupthisyear,andwe’dsignedseveralnewauthorstoourclientlist,thankstomygirlfriend’skeeneyefordiscoveringtalent.
Ididn’tevenlikecallingherthat
Girlfrienddidn’tdoherjustice.
Becauseshewasn’tjustmygirlfriend,oracoworkerorevenafriend.
Shewaseverything.
Therewasaknockonthedoor,andbeforeIresponded,shewaspushingitopen.
Shestrodetowardmewearingawhitebutton-up,asexy-as-fuckblackpencilskirt,andapairofpinkstilettos.Shecamearoundmydeskandrestedherassontheedgeasherlegssettledbetweenmine.
“How’ditgo?”Iasked.
“Wesignedhertoatwo-bookdeal.Easybreezy,”shesaid,clappingherhandstogethertwiceandsmiling.“AshlanThomasisofficiallyaclientofLancasterPress.”
Georgiawantedtorunthemeetingonherownwithhercousin,asshewasbuildingherportfolioofclients,andthefactthatshewasworkingdirectlywithMaraSkyeandAshlanThomaswasimpressiveforsomeoneintheirfirstyearofpublishing.
Butsheknewbooks.
Sheknewthemarket.
Shehadabrillianteyefordesignandworkedcloselywiththecoverdesignerstocreatetheperfectpackaging.
“You’reamazing.Howdoesitfeeltohavetwoofthemostsought-afterauthorsoutthererequestingtoworkwithyou?”Myhandsrubbedalongtheoutsideofherthighs.
“Prettydamngood.It’scrazy,youknow?”
“What?”
“Well,whenIcametoworkhere,Ididn’tknowwhatIwantedtodowithmylife.I’djustgottenoutofamiserablerelationship.I’dstudiedartandreallylovedbeingcreative,butI’dfeltallthispressuretohaveajobthatcouldsupportme.”Sheshruggedasherhandfoundmine,andsheinterlacedourfingers.“AndthenIfoundyou,andeverythingliterallyfellintoplace.IknowwhatIwantinbothmypersonallifeandmyprofessionallife,andthat’sallbecauseIfellinlovewithyou,Bossman.YouhelpedmefigureoutwhoIwas.”
Ituggedherdowntositonmylapandwrappedmyarmsaroundher.“Andyouhelpedmefigureoutthattherewasmoretolifethanjustworkingandmakingmoney.”
Herheadtippedback,restingagainstmyshoulder,andshelookedupatme.“Whatmoredidyoufind?”
“ThatIcouldactuallyenjoythefuckinglifeI’dbeenbornintoinsteadofresentingit.ThatIdidstillknowhowtolaugh,eventhoughithadbeenalongtimesinceI’ddoneit.Andyou’refuckingfunny,baby.”Inippedatherbottomlip,andshechuckled.
“Whatelse?”
Mythumbtracedalonghercheekbone.“ThatIcouldloveagain,Tink.That’sthegiftyougaveme.Becauseafterlosingmymom,Ireallydidn’tthinkI’deverallowmyselftogothereagain.Toletmyselflovesomeonesomuchthatitwouldhurttolosethem.AndIfeltitthatdayyoufellthroughtheice.ThatterrorthatIknewIwouldneverrecoverfrom.Buthereweare,livingandloving,andthatdoesn’tevenscaremeanymore.”
“Sobasically,whatyou’retellingmeisthatyoucan’tlivewithoutme?”Herglossypinklipsturnedupinthecorners,twodimplesonfulldisplay,andsapphireeyesthatcouldseeintoasoulthatIdidn’tevenknowIhad.
“That’sexactlywhatI’msaying.Whichiswhywe’regoingtowrapyouinbubblewrapforthatfamilypickleballtournamentyouplannedforthisweekend.”
“Notachance.Ican’tsmokeeveryoneifI’mbeingconstrained.”Shelaughed.“Wyletextedthathe’sgoingtobehereforthetournament.”
“Hetoldme.He’slookingforahouseherenow,too.Lookatyou,healingallthebrokenLancastersandputtingusbacktogether.”
“Itoldyou,Ihaveaknackforoddsports.”
“Youhaveaknackformakingeverythingbetter,GeorgiaReynolds.”
“AndyouhaveaknackformakingmefeellikeI’mtheonlygirlintheroom,”shewhispered.
“Youaretheonlygirlintheroom.”MyvoicewasallteaseasIraisedabrowather.
Butshewasright.Itdidn’tmatterifwewerealoneorinaroomfullofpeople.
ShewastheonlyoneIsaw.
TheonlyoneIneeded.
“Suchasmart-ass,”shesaid,rubbinghernoseagainstmine.
“Youknowhowwesitunderthestarseverynightbecauseit’sourfavoritethingtodo?”
“Yeah?”Shepulledbacktolookatme.
“Well,whenyou’relookingupatthestarsandtalkingaboutallthethingsthatyousee,andIteaseyoubecauseIcan’tseeanyofit?”Ipaused,andmygazelockedwithhers.
“Yes.WhichiswhyIwantyoutogogetyoureyeschecked.”
“Idon’tneedmyeyeschecked,baby.ThereasonIdon’tseewhatyouseewhenyoulookupattheskyisbecauseI’malwayslookingatyou.Evenwithallthestarsoutatnight,Idon’twanttolookanywhereelse.BecauseIhaveeverythingIneed.EverythingIwant.It’srightinfrontofme.”
“YoujustbeatouteverybookboyfriendI’veeverputonapedestalwiththatconfession,”shewhispered.“You’retheperfectleadingman.”
“Oh,yeah?”MyfingerstangledinherhairasIpulledhercloser,herlipsjustabreathaway.
“Yeah.”Thewordcameoutallbreathy.“You’reridiculouslyhandsomeandprotectiveandbroody.Bossyashell.Butyou’resweetandromanticwhenwe’realone.Anddon’tevengetmestartedonyourfilthymouthwhenitcomestosex.You’rethewholepackage,Bossman.I’mtheluckiestgirlontheplanet.”
“Webothare.Iloveyou,Tink.”
“Iloveyou.Andwegettowriteourownhappilyeverafter,don’twe?”
“Damnstraight.We’vebeenwritingitsincethedayyoustrodeintomyoffice.”
Andthatwasthetruth.
Ididn’tevenbelieveinthathappilyeverafterbullshitbeforeImetGeorgiaReynolds.
ButnowIwasasappybastardwhowanteditall.
AndnowthatI’dfoundher,Iwasneverlettinggo.epilogueGeorgia
We’djustcleanedupafterhavingeveryoneoverfordinnerandaheatedgameofpickleball,whereFinngavemearealrunformymoney.Thebastardhadneverevenplayed,buthe’dclearlygottenthesamepickleballgeneasme.
Myparentshadcomebytowatch,andmydadbarbecuedsoMaddoxcouldrefthegames.EveryonebutBrinkleyhadbeenhere,asshe’dhadabigpressconferencetoattendforsomefamousfootballquarterbackthatshecouldn’tstand.Butmysisterneverletanythingoranyonekeepherfromgettingherstory.
CagehadtriedtoteachGraciehowtoplay,butteachingwasn’thisthing,ashehadthepatienceofaLabradorpuppy.So,sheandIhadhadalotoffunjusttossingtheballbackandforthtooneanother,tryingtogetitoverthenet.
Babysteps.
Wylehadstoppedby,andeveryoneinmyfamilylovedhim.HewasworkingwithBraxtofindahome.Braxownedtherealestatecompanyintown,andhe’dtakenhimouttoseeaspechomethatTravisandhiscompanyhadbuiltafewmonthsback.Heshowedusphotos,andwealllovedtheproperty,whichwaswalkingdistancefromourhouse.
HeandHughbothchallengedmetoanotherroundofpickleball,andIlovedeverymomentofit.Havingeveryonehere.Thesunwasshining,anditwasaperfectdayforabarbecue.
Butthen,CupidshotanarrowstraightintomyheartwhenIglancedovertoseeMaddoxbentdown,Gracie’sbacktohischest,withhishandscoveringhersassheheldtheracquet,andhegentlyswungherarmsbackandforth,lettingherfeelthemotion.
ThatwaswhenHughhadscoredapointagainstme.WhichwasasmallmiracleinitselfbecauseheandLilaweren’tremotelyfocusedonthegameastheyhadagreedtohaveanoutdoorweddingatourhousethissummer,seeingaswehadthebigyardwithviewsoftheocean,andtheycouldlookrightdownatthecove,whichwastheirfavoritespotintheworld.
ItwasMaddox’sidea.They’dbeentossingoutvenuestheywereconsidering,andnonehadfeltquiterightforthem.Hesuggestedtheydoatentedareaoutinthebackyard,andI’dgaspedwhenhealsosuggestedthepickleballcourtwouldmakeaperfectdancefloor.
I’dagreed,ofcourse.
Weddingsbeforepickleball.
Iwasreasonable,especiallywhenitcametolove.
Anditwouldonlybecoveredforafewdays,soIcouldlivewiththat.
So,they’dwalkedtheproperty,takingphotosandtalkingaboutpotentialideasforwheretosetthingsup.Andwe’dallgivensuggestions,aswell.
Everyonehadjustleft,andMaddoxandIweresettlingonthecouchtowatchamovie.
“YouwerereallysweetwithGracietoday,”IsaidasIleanedagainsthim.“Ithinkyou’dbeagreatdadsomeday.”
We’dtalkedaboutit—marriageandkids—often,anditwassomethingwebothwanted,butweweren’tinahurrytogrowourfamilyjustyet.Iwasjustfindingmywayinmynewcareerandenjoyingmylifewiththismanbesideme.
“IneverthoughtthatwouldbesomethingI’dwant,butyou’vechangedmyoutlookonalotofthings.”Hekissedmyforehead.“Myfearisthattheywon’tallbelikeher,youknow?Imean,Gracieisthebest.I’dhaveadozenkidsifIknewtheyweregoingtoturnoutlikeher.ButifwegetalittleshitlikeWyle?Thenwe’recompletelyfucked.”
Ilaughedhysterically,andhesmiledashewatchedme.Helovedhisbrother,buttheyalsolovedtogiveoneanotherahardtime.“Ithinkwe’llbefinewithwhateverweget.”
“Yeah.Ihopewehavelotsoflittlegirlsthatlookjustlikeyouandhaveallyourgoodness.It’llmaketheworldabetterplacetohavemoreGeorgia—”Hepaused.“Youwillbetakingmylastname.Youknowthat,right?”
“Youdon’twanttobeaReynolds?”Iteased.
“Ialreadyfeellikeone.Yourfamilyhasawayofseepingin.Answerthequestion,Tink.”
“Whenyouaskthequestion,Iwillbehappytotakeyourname…Imean,pendingIsayyes,”Isaidovermorelaughter.
Herolledhiseyes.“Well,IcanassureyouIwon’tbeaskingatanyfuckingice-skatingrink.ButI’llcomeupwithsomethingspecialwhenthatdaycomes.”
“MaybewecouldtakeadriveonScooty,andyoucouldaskmeasourhairisblowinginthebreezeandwe’recruisingdownMainStreet.WecouldgetsomemacandcheeseafterandgetsexuallyharassedbyMrs.Runither.”
“Notafuckingchance.I’mgoingtodazzlethefuckoutofyou.”
“Youalreadydoeveryday,”Isaid,becauseitwasthetruth.
I’dneverknownlifecouldbethisgood.I’dalwaysbeenahappypersonwithapositiveoutlook.ButIcouldn’thavedreamedupallthathadhappenedoverthelastfewmonths.
WhereI’dstarted.
WhereIwasnow.
WhoIwaswith,andhowhappyhemademe.
AndIwasagirlwhobelievedinfairytaleswholeheartedly.
Butthisone—thisonewasmyfavorite.
Myphonevibratedonthecoffeetable,andIleanedforwardandsawthatitwasBrinkley.Iansweredandputheronspeakerphone.
“Hey,howdidthepressconferencego?”
“Notfreakinggood,”shesaid,andhervoicecrackedonthelastword,causingmetoshootforward,mybackramrodstraight.Brinkleyrarelygotupset,andwhenshedid,itwasusuallyforagoodreason.
“Whathappened?”
“LincolnfreakingHendrixhappened.”Shesniffed.
“Whatdidhedo?”
“Everyonewantstoknowwhatthatarrogantbastardisgoingtodonextyear.Hiscontractisup,andhehasn’tannouncedwherehe’sgoingtoplay.Andhealwaysletsthatasshole,TexMcGuire,breakthebignews.Henevercallsonmeoracknowledgesmewhenwe’reallgatheredaftergames,nomatterhowpersistentIam.He’samisogynistpig.”
“Yes,you’vementionedthatbefore,”Isaid,glancingoveratMaddox,whowaslisteningattentively,aswell.
“So,Ifoundoutwherehewasbeforethepressconference.AndmaybeIsnuckintothemen’sbathroomwhenIsawhimgointhere.Imean,sowhat!”sheshouted.“Weallpee,right?It’snotfairthatallthemalereportersgetthebenefitofcatchinghimoffguardwhileI’minthewomen’sbathroomwithwho?Therearenoquarterbacksinthatbathroom.”
AsmalllaughescapedMaddox’slips,andIcoveredmysmile.“That’strue.”
“So,Icaughthimoffguard.Imean,it’snotlikeIsawhispackage.Hehadn’tunzipped.Butobviously,he’sgotissuestherebecausehefreakedoutonmeforbeinginthere.”
“Didhelayafuckinghandonyou?”Maddoxhissed.
“No,no,nothinglikethat.Butheshoutedaboutnoonegivinghimafuckingsecondtohimself.Guesswhat,genius?You’retheGOAToftheNFL.Youdon’tgetasecondtoyourself.That’sthedeal.”
“Didyousaythat?”Iasked,becauseBrinkleywaslikeadogwithabonewhenshewantedsomething.
“Idid.AndthenIjustaskedhimtotellmeifhehaddecidedwhohewasgoingtoplayfor.He’sthehottestfreeagentonthemarket.It’sthestoryeveryonewantstobreak.Andmyassholebosswantsthisstory.Atallcosts.Thosewerehisexactwords.”
“Anddidheansweryou?”
“Hedidnot.Hepointedhisfingerinmyfaceandsaidsomethinglike,shameonyou.Ishoutedthesamethingbackathimashestormedoutofthebathroom.Andthenhegoesandhasmebannedfromtheconference.Securityliterallyescortedmeoutofthebuilding.”
“No!”Igasped.“That’shorrible.”
“It’snoteventheworstpart.”
“Whathappened?”Maddoxasked,histonehard,butIcouldheartheconcern.
Andthatwaswhenithappened.Brinkleystartedcrying.IcouldonlythinkofthreetimesinmylifethatI’dseenmysistercry.OnewaswhenmymotherwashedherfavoritewhitecashmeresweaterwithHugh’sredfootballsocks.ThenextwaswhenwefoundoutthatourauntBethhadpassedawayfromcancer.Andthelasttimewaswhenwe’dfoundoutthatourfatheralsohadcancer,whichwasnowinremission.
“Brinks,”Isaid,myheartachingforher.
“HecalledmeoutpubliclyinthepressconferenceandsaidIcrossedaline.Heactuallysaidmynameonnationaltelevision.AndmybossjustcalledtotellmeIneededtotakeanunpaidleave.It’sthesamethingasbeingfired,buthe’skeepingthedooropenincaseIrecoverfromthisbecauseheknowsI’mgoodatmyjob.”
“Hey.You’vesaidforsolongthatyou’retiredofworkingforhimandyou’dratherbeafreelancereporter.You’reanamazingjournalist,Brinks.Thisisyourtimetotakethatleap.”
Itwasquietontheotherend,asidefromafewsniffs,andthensheclearedherthroat.“That’strue.Idohavealotofmoneysavedup,andIwouldn’tneedtopaythishighrentandstayinthecity.IcancomerentaplacebackhomeforafewmonthsuntilIfigureitout.”
“Yes.Thatsoundslikeagreatplan.Youcanbuildyourfreelancebusiness.”
“Ilikethesoundofthat.ButIamnotlivinginHughandLila’scasita,andI’msureashellnottuckingtailandlivingwithMomandDad.Ineedmyownplace.I’llfindacutehouse,andIcanworkfromhome,too,”shesaid,hervoicesoundingupbeatnow,likeshehadaplanandwasgoingtobeokay.
“Hey,wejusthadthefloorsredoneonthatrentalhousethatGeorgiawaslivingin,andIwasgoingtohaveafewmorerenovationsdonetoit,butit’syoursforaslongasyouneedifyouwantit,”Maddoxsaid,strokingmyhair.“Andit’salreadyfurnished.”
IsmirkedathimbecauseI’drecentlylearnedthatnoneofthatfurniturehadbelongedtohim.HehadpurchaseditallformesoIwouldn’thavetowait.
“Really?Youhaven’trenteditout?”
“Iwasn’tplanningonit.Ifiguredwe’djustofferittofamilythatcameintotown,”hesaid.
“Well,Iinsistonpayingrent.That’stheonlywayI’llagreetomovein.Idon’tneedahandout,evenifIwasjustpubliclyhumiliated.”
“YoufuckingReynoldsesandyourprideabouthandoutsisexhausting.Fine.Rentisonedollaramonth.Don’tbelate.We’llkickyourasstothecurb.”
Myboyfriendtriedtokeephisvoiceeven,butIheardthehumor.
“Deal.AndI’llmakeyouguysdinnerwheneveryouwant.”
“Youdon’tcook,”Iremindedher.
“Well,nowthatI’manunemployedsportsjournalist,I’llhavemoretimeonmyhands.MaybeI’llstartmakingjaminjars.Orgrowingmyownvegetables.Yes,that’swhatI’lldo.AndthenI’llgotoLincolnHendrix’snextgameandchuckbigmelonsathimfromthestands,”sheseethed.
“Thiskindofangerisn’thealthy,”Iremindedher.“Puthiminyourrearviewmirrorandmoveforward.Whenonedoorcloses,anotheropens.”
Shegroaned.“You’relikeawalkingmantra.Heclosedthatdoorinmyface,andpaybackisabitch.I’llwalkthroughthisnewdoor,butIwillfindawaytogetrevengeonthatguy.Fromnowon,weallcursethegroundhewalkson.Yougotit?”
Maddoxcringed.LincolnHendrixwashisfavoriteplayer.Hewasahugefan,andhe’dbeenanxiouslyawaitinghisannouncementaboutwherehewouldplaynextyear.
“Done!”Ishouted.“LincolnHendrixisenemynumberone.”
Maddoxrolledhiseyesbeforeturningbacktowardthephone.“Youneedhelptogetpackedup?”
“Nope.Myapartmentissmall,andIcanbeoutofthereinafewdays.Iloveyouguys.I’llseeyousoon.”
Sheendedthecall,andIleanedagainstMaddox’sshoulder.“Thanksforofferingherthehouse.Thatwasreallysweetofyou.”
“Baby,”hewhispered.“HowseriousissheaboutusallhatingLincolnHendrix?”
Iturnedinhisarmstofacehim.“She’sabitofagrudgeholder.Westillcan’tspeakofTimmyWilsonbecausehekickedherbikeoverattheparkwhenshewasinthirdgrade.”
“Shit.Isn’tLincolnallthreeofyourbrothers’favoriteplayer,too?”Hisvoicewassoconcerneditwasdifficultnottolaugh.
“Yep.They’rebigfans.”
“Andwealljusthatehimnow?”
Ishrugged.“It’ssortofwhatwedo.Iwon’ttellonyouifyoukeepyoursecretmancrushprivate.”
HemovedsofastIdidn’tseehimcoming.Hehadmeonmybackonthecouchashehoveredaboveme.“Ionlyhaveonecrush,andit’sonmyfuturewife.”
“Thereyougoagain.Don’tthreatenmewithagoodtime.Putyourmoneywhereyourmouthis,Bossman.”
Hismouthcrashedintomineinresponse,andmylipspartedininvitation.
BecauseIcouldn’tgetenoughofthisman.
AndIneverwould.
TheEnd
DoyouwanttoseeMaddoxproposetoGeorgia?ClickhereforanexclusiveBONUSSCENE!
TheProposal~BonusScene
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https://geni.us/ontheshoreacknowledgments
Greg,Chase&Hannah…youinspiremeeveryday!Iloveyoualways!
Willow,Foreverthankfulforyou!Yourfriendship,yoursupportandthelaughsthatneverend.Sohappytobeonthisjourneywithyou.Loveyousomuch!
Catherine,thankyouforyourendlessloveandsupport.I’mendlesslythankfulforyourfriendship.Loveyoualways!
Kandi,Iwouldnothavegottenthisbookdonewithoutyou!Thankyouforyourfriendshipandforallofyoursupport!IlovebeingonthisjourneywithyouandamsogratefulforYOU!Loveyou!
Nina,thankyouforguiding,listeningandsupportingmethroughthisjourney!Cheerstomanymoreyearstogether!Loveyou!!
ValentineGrinstead,Iabsolutelyadoreyou!SothankfulforYOU!Loveyou!
KimCermak,Ihonestlydon’tknowwhatIwoulddowithoutyou.Thankyouforkeepingmeontrack,helpingmewithreleasestress,andbeinganamazingfriend.IamforeverTHANKFULforyou!
ChristineMiller,Ican’tbegintothankyouforallthatyoudoformeEVERYDAY!!IamSOTHANKFULforyou!
SarahNorris,thankyouforthegorgeousgraphicsandalwaysbeingwillingtohelpevenwhenIrememberthingsatthelastminute!LOL!lamincrediblygratefulforYOU!
Meagan,mysweet,beautifulfriend!ThankyouforbeinganamazingbetareaderandforcreatingthemostbeautifulreelsandTikToksandforhelpingtogetmybooksoutthere!Yoursupportmeanstheworldtome!!Thankyousomuch!!
KelleyBeckham,thankyouforsettingupallthe“lives”withpeoplewhohavenowbecomeforeverfriends!Thankyousomuchforallthatyoudotohelpmegetmybooksoutthere!Iamtrulysograteful!
AmyDindia,thankyouforcreatingabsolutelyperfectreelsandTikToks.Iamendlesslygrateful!
Maren,Kat&theamazingSlackgirls…thankyouforthesprints,thelaughsandthefriendship!
Abi,Doo,Meagan,Annette,Jennifer,Pathi,Natalie,andCaroline,thankyouforbeingtheBESTbetareadersEVER!Yourfeedbackmeanstheworldtome.Iamsothankfulforyou!!
Madison,ThankyoufortakingthesegorgeousphotosfortheCottonwoodCoveSeries.Iaminlovewiththiscover!Thankyousomuch!!Xo
HangLe,thankyouforbringingMaddoxandGeorgia’sstorytolifesobeautifullyonthiscover.IamsogratefulforYOU!!
SueGrimshaw(EditsbySue),IwouldbecompletelylostwithoutyouandIamsogratefultobeonthisjourneywithyou.ThankyouforbeingthevoiceIrelyonsomuch!Thankyouformovingthingsaroundanddoingwhateverisneededtomakethetimelinework.IamFOREVERgratefulforYOU!
Ellie(MyBrothersEditor),Sothankfulforyourfriendship!Iamsohappytobeonthisjourneywithyou!Thankyouforalwaysmakingtimeformenomatterhowchallengingthetimelineis!Loveyou!
JulieDeaton,thankyouforhelpingmetoputthebestbooksouttherepossible.Iamsogratefulforyou!
JamieRyter,Iamsothankfulforyourfeedback!YourcommentsareendlesslyentertainingandtheygivemelifewhenIneeditmost!!Butthisbooktookthecake!BESTCOMMENTSEVER!!Iamsothankfulforyou!!
ChristineEstevez,thankyouforallthatyoudotosupportme!IlovewhenIgettoworkwithyouonprojects.Yourfriendshiptrulymeanstheworldtome!Loveyou!
CrystalEacker,Iamsothankfulforyou!Thankyoufordoingwhateverisneeded!YouaresuchanamazingsupportandI’mforevergrateful!
Jennifer,thankyouforbeinganendlesssupportsystem.Forrallyingreaders,posting,reviewinganddoingwhateverisneededforeachrelease.Yourfriendshipmeanstheworldtome!Ican’twaittohugyouSOSOON!!Loveyou!
Paige,mysweet,dancing,bookrecommending,fun,talented,amazingfriend.Thankyouforalwaysmakingtimeformybooksandforhelpingtogetthemoutthereintheworld!IamsoincrediblythankfulforYOU!Loveyou!
RachelParker,Iamsothankfulforyou!IlovethatIgettochatwithyouoneveryreleaseday!IwillkeepCharlotte’sswagcomingformanyyears!Loveyou!
SarahSentz,thankyouformakingtimeformeoneveryreleaseandhelpingspreadthewordaboutmybooks.Iamforevergratefulforyou!!
AshleyAnastasioandKaylaCompton,Iamsogratefulforyourendlesssupport!IlovethereelsandTikToksthatyoumake,andamsothankfulforyouboth!
Mom,thankyouforreadingallofmywords,andforthefeedbackandthelove!Iamsothankfulthatwesharethisloveofbookswithoneanother!Rideordie!!Loveyou!
Dad,youreallyarethereasonthatIkeepchasingmydreams!!Thankyouforteachingmetonevergiveup.Loveyou!
Sandy,thankyouforreadingandsupportingmethroughoutthisjourney!Loveyou!
Pathi,Ican’tputintowordshowthankfulIamforYOU!Thankyouforbelievinginmeandencouragingmetochasemydreams!!IloveandappreciateyoumorethanIcansay!!Thankyouforyourfriendship!!LoveyouFOREVER!
Natalie(HeadintheClouds,NoseinaBook),Thankyouforallthesupportthisyearandalways!Ican’twaittoseewhatthefutureholds,andIamsogratefultobeonthisjourneywithyou!Thecountdownison!!Loveyou!
Sammi,Iamsothankfulforyoursupportandyourfriendship!!Loveyou!
Marni,IloveyouforeverandIamendlesslythankfulforyourfriendship!!Xo
TotheJKLWILLOWS…Iamforevergratefultoyouforyoursupportandencouragement,mysweetfriends!!Ican’twaitforustoallbetogetherthisyear!!Loveyou!
Toallthebloggers,bookstagrammersandARCreaderswhohaveposted,shared,andsupportedme—Ican’tbegintotellyouhowmuchitmeanstome.Iloveseeingthegraphicsthatyoumakeandthegorgeouspoststhatyoushare.Iamforevergratefulforyoursupport!
Toallthereaderswhotakethetimetopickupmybooksandtakeachanceonmywords…THANKYOUforhelpingtomakemydreamscometrue!!keepuponnewreleases
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