Contents
Cover
TitlePage
ChapterOne
ChapterTwo
ChapterThree
ChapterFour
ChapterFive
ChapterSix
ChapterSeven
ChapterEight
ChapterNine
ChapterTen
ChapterEleven
ChapterTwelve
ChapterThirteen
ChapterFourteen
ChapterFifteen
ChapterSixteen
ChapterSeventeen
ChapterEighteen
ChapterNineteen
ChapterTwenty
ChapterTwenty-One
ChapterTwenty-Two
ChapterTwenty-Three
ChapterTwenty-Four
ChapterTwenty-Five
ChapterTwenty-Six
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
AbouttheAuthor
Announcement
ByTessaBailey
Copyright
AboutthePublisher
ChapterOne
ForaslongasAugustCatescouldremember,hisdickhadruinedeverything.
Inseventhgrade,he’dgottenahard-onduringapeprallywhilestandinginfrontoftheentireschoolinfootballpants.Sincehisclassmatescouldn’topenlycallhimWoodyinthepresenceoftheirteachers,they’dcalledhimTomHanks,instead.Itstuckallthroughhighschool.Tothisday,hecringedattheverymentionofToyStory
Trustyourgut,son.
Hisnavycommanderfatherhadalwayssaidthattohim.Infact,thatwasprettymuchallhe’deversaid,bywayofadvice.Everythingelseconstitutedadirectorder.Problemwas,Augusttendedtoneedalittlemoreinstruction.Adiagram,ifpossible.Hewasn’taget-it-right-on-the-first-trytypeofman.Whichwasprobablywhyhe’dmistakenhis“gut”forhisdick.
Meaning,he’dtranslatedhisfather’sadviceinto…
Trustyourdick,son.
Auguststraightenedthewineglassinfrontofhiminordertoforgoadjustingtheappendageinquestion.Theglasssatonasilvertray,secondsfrombeingcarriedtothepanelofjudges.Currently,thethreesmugelitistsweresippingaCabernetofferingthathadbeenenteredintotheBouquetsandBeginnerscompetitionbyanotherlocalvintner.ThecrowdofNapaValleywinesnobsleanedforwardintheirfoldingchairstohearthecritiquefromonejudgeinparticular.
NatalieVos.
Thedaughterofalegendarywinemaker.
VosVineyardheiressandall-aroundplagueonhisfuckingsanity.
Augustwatchedherfulllipsperchontheedgeoftheglass.Theywerepaintedakindoflushplumcolortoday.TheymatchedthesilkblousesheworetuckedintoaleatherskirtandhesworetoGod,hecouldfeelthecrushofthatleatherinhispalms.Couldfeelhisfingertipsrakingdownherbarelegstoremovethosehighheelswithspikesonthetoes.Notforthefirsttime—no,incrediblyfarfromthefirsttime—hementallykickedhimselfintheassforsabotaginghischancesoftakingNatalieVostobed.Shewouldn’ttouchhimthroughahazmatsuitnow,andshe’dtoldhimasmuchumpteentimes.
Hischancesofwinningthiscontestdidn’tbodewell.
NotonlybecauseheandNatalieVoswereenemies,butbecausehiswinesuckedbigsweatydonkeyballs.Everyoneknewit.Hell,Augustknewit.Theonlyonetocallhimoutonit,however,waspreparingtodeliverherverdicttotheaudience.
“Colorisrich,ifabitlight.Notesoftobaccoinfront.Citrusaftertaste.Veeringtowardacidic,but…”Sheheldthewineuptothesunandstudieditthroughtheglass.“Overallveryenjoyable.Admirableforatwo-year-oldwinery.”
Murmursandgolfclapsallaroundfromtheaudience.
Thewinemakerthankedthejudges.HeactuallybowedtoNataliewhileretrievinghisglassandAugustcouldn’tstifleaneyerolltosavehislife.Unfortunately,Nataliecaughttheactionandraisedaperfectblackbrow,signalingAugustforwardforhisturnatthejudgingtable,likeaprincesssummoningacommoner—anddidn’tthatfittheirrolestoaT?
Augustdidn’tbelonginthissunnyfive-starresortandspacourtyardonaSaturdayafternoonferryingwineonasilvertraytothesewealthybirdbrainswhooverinflatedtheimportanceofwinesomuchitfeltlikesatire.Hedidn’tbelonginsophisticatedSt.Helena.Wasn’tcutouttoselectthebestbunchofgrapesatthegrocerystore,letalonecultivatesoilandgrowthemfromscratchtomakehisveryownbrandofwine.
Itried,Sammy.
He’dreallyfuckingtried.ThiscontesthadagrandprizeoftenthousanddollarsandthatmoneywasAugust’slasthopetokeeptheoperationalive.Ifgivenanotherchance,hewouldbemorehands-onduringthefermentationprocess.He’dlearnedthehardwaythat“setitandforgetit”didn’tworkforshitwithwine.Itrequiredconstanttasting,correcting,andrebalancingtopreventspoilage.Hemightdobetterifgivenanotherseasontoprovehimself.
Forthat,heneededmoney.AndhehadabetterchanceofgettingNatalieinthesackthanwinningthiscompetition,whichwastosay,hehadnochancewhatsoever—because,yeah.Hiswineblewchunks.He’dbeluckyiftheymanagedtoletitrestontheirtastebudsforthreeseconds,letalonedeclarehimthewinner.ButAugustwouldtrytothebitterend,sohewouldneverlookbackandwonderifhecouldhavedonemoretobringthissecondhanddreamtolife.
Auguststrodetothejudge’stableandsettheglassesofwineinfrontofNataliewithalotlessceremonythanhiscompetitorshad,sniffed,andsteppedback,crossinghisarms.Disdainstaredbackathimintheformofthetwomostannoyinglybeautifuleyeshe’deverseen.Sortofawhiskeygold,ringedinadarkerbrown.Hecouldstillrememberthemomenttheexpressioninthoseeyeshadgonefromtake-me-to-bed-daddytoplease-drink-poison
Witch.
Thiswasherdomain,however.Nothis.Atsix-foot-threeandwithabodystillhonedforthebattlesofhispastlifeasaNavySEAL,hefitintothispanoramaaboutaswellasRamboatabakesale.Theshirttheentrantshadbeenaskedtowearforthecompetitiondidn’tfit,sohe’dhungitfromthebackpocketofhisjeans.Maybehecoulduseittocleanupthewinewhenthejudgesspititout.
“AugustCatesofZelnickCellar,”Nataliesaidsmoothly,handingglassesofwinetoherfellowjudges.Outwardly,sheappearedcoolasever,herunflappableNewYorkdemeanoronfulldisplay,buthecouldseeherbreathcomingfasterasshegearedherselfuptodrinkwhatamountedtosludgeinaglass.Ofthethreejudges,Nataliewastheonlyonewhoknewwhatwascoming,becauseshe’dtastedhiswineoncebefore—andhadpromptlycomparedittodemonpiss.Thatoccasionwasalsoknownasthenighthe’dblownhisoneandonlychancetosweatupthesheetswithPrincessVosherself.
Sincethatill-fatedevening,theirrelationshiphadbeennothingshortofcontentious.IftheyhappenedtoseeeachotheronGrapevineWayoratalocalwineevent,shelikedtodiscreetlyscratchhereyebrowwithamiddlefinger,whileAugustusuallyinquiredhowmanyglassesofwineshe’dplowedthroughsincenineA.M
Intheory,hehatedher.Theyhatedeachother.
Dammit,though,hecouldn’tseemtoactuallydoit.Notalltheway.
AnditallwentbacktoAugust’smistakinghisgutforhisdickasayoungster.
Asin,Trustyourdick,son
AndthatpartofhisanatomymightaswellbemarriedtoNatalieVos.MarriedwithsixkidsandlivingintheViennesecountrysidewearingmatchingplayclothesfashionedoutofcurtains,àlaTheSoundofMusic.IfallofAugust’sdecisionswereuptohisdownstairsbrain,hewouldhaveapologizedthenightoftheirfirstargumentandaskedforanothershottosupplyherwithwall-to-wallorgasms.Butitwastoolatenow.Hehadnochoicebuttoreturntheloathingsheradiatedathim,becausehisupstairsbrainknewalltoowellwhytheirrelationshipwouldneverhavegonepastasinglenight.
NatalieVoshadprivilegeandpolish—nottomentionmoney—comingoutofherears.
Atthirty-five,Augustwasbrokerthanafingerlessmime.
He’ddumpedallofhislifesavingsintoopeningawinery,withnoexperienceorguidance,andlosingthiscontestwouldbethedeathblowtoZelnickCellar.
August’schesttightenedlikehewasbeingstrappedtoagurney,butherefusedtobreakeyecontactwiththeheiress.Thegrowingachebelowhisthroatmusthavebeenvisibleonhisfacebecause,slowly,Natalie’ssmugexpressionmeltedawayandshefrownedathim.Leanedinandwhisperedforhisearsalone,“What’sgoingonwithyou?AreyoumissingWrestleManiatobehereorsomething?”
“Iwouldn’tmissWrestleManiaformyownfuneral.”Hesnorted.“Justtastethewine,compareittomoldygarbage,andgetitoverwith,princess.”
“Actually,Iwasgoingtoordainitassomethinglike…ratbathwater.”Shegesturedathimwithflutteryfingers.“Seriously,what’sup?Youhavemoreassholeenergythanusual.”
Hesighed,lookingoutattherowsofexpectantspectatorswhowereeitherintenniswhitesorleisurewearthatprobablycostmorethanhistruck.“MaybebecauseI’mtrappedinanepisodeofSuccession.”Timetochangethechannel.Notthathehadachoice.“Doyourworst,Natalie.”
Shewrinkledhernoseathiswine.“Butyou’realreadysogoodatbeingtheworst.”
Augusthuffedalaugh.“Toobadthey’renotgivingoutaprizeforsharpestfangs.You’dbeunmatched.”
“Areyoucomparingmetoavampire?Becauseyourwineiswhatsucks.”
“Justdownthewholeglasswithouttastingit,likeyouusuallydo.”
Wasthathurtthatflashedinhereyesbeforeshehidit?
Certainlynot.“Youarean—”shestarted.
“Readytobegin,MissVos?”askedoneoftheotherjudges,asilver-hairedmaninhisfiftieswhowroteforWineEnthusiastmagazine.
“Y-yes.Ready.”Sheshookherselfandpulledback,regainingherpoiseandslidingherfingersaroundthestemofthewineglasscontainingAugust’smostrecentCabernet.Agrooveremainedbetweenherbrowsassheswirledtheglassclockwiseandliftedittohernosetoinhalethebouquet.Theotherjudgeswerealreadycoughing,lookingateachotherinconfusion.Hadtheyaccidentallybeenservedvinegar?
Theyspatitoutintotheprovidedsilverbucketsalmostintandem.
Natalie,however,seemeddeterminedtoholdoffaslongaspossible.
Herfaceturnedred,tearsforminginhereyes.
Buttohisshock,theswallowwentdownherthroat,followedbyagaspforair.
“I’mafraid…”beganoneofthejudges,visiblyflustered.ThecrowdwhisperedbehindAugust.“I’mafraidsomethingmusthavegoneterriblywrongduringyourprocess.”
“Yes…”Theotherjudgelaughedbehindhiswrist.“Orastepwasleftoutentirely.”
Therowsofpeoplebehindhimchuckled,andNatalie’sattentionstrayedinthatdirection.Sheopenedhermouthtosaysomethingandcloseditagain.Normally,shewouldn’thesitatetocuthimoffattheknees,sowhatwasthis?Pity?She’dchosenthismoment?Thismoment,whenheneededtowalkoutofherewithsomesemblanceofpride,togoeasyonhim?
Nah.Nothavingit.
Hedidn’tneedthisspoiled,trust-fundbrattopullherpunches.He’dseenshitduringcombatthatpeopleonthiswell-manicuredlawncouldn’tevenfathomintheirwildestdreams.He’djumpedoutofplanesintopitch-blackskies.Existedonpurestubbornnessforweeksonendinthedesert.Sufferedlossesthatstillfeltasthoughthey’dhappenedyesterday.
Andyetyoucouldn’tevenmakedecentwine.
He’dfailedSam.
Again.
Afactthathurtadamnsightmorethanthisrichgirljudginghimharshlyinfrontofthesepeoplehe’dprobablyneverseeagainaftertoday.Infact,heneededNatalietojustdropthehammeralready,sohecouldshowherhowlittlehecaredaboutheropinion.Itwashisfriend’sdreamneverbeingrealizedthatshouldhurt.Notherverdict.
Augustproppedhishandsonthejudgingtableandleanedforward,seeingnothingbutthebeautiful,black-haireddreamhaunterandwatchinghergoldeneyesgowideathisaudacity.“You’renotwaitingforabribe,areyou?NotwithalastnamelikeVos.”HewinkedatherandleaneddownuntilonlyNataliecouldhearthewayhedroppedhisvoice.“Unlessyou’rehopingforadifferentkindofbribe,princess,becausethatcanbearranged.”
Shethrewwineinhisface.
Forthesecondtime.
Honestly,hecouldn’tevenblameher.
HewaslashingoutoverhisfailureandNataliewasaconvenienttarget.Buthewasn’tgoingtoapologize.Whatgoodwoulditdo?Shealreadyhatedhimandhe’djustfoundawaytostrengthenthatfeeling.ThebestthinghecoulddotomakeupfortheinsulttoNataliewastoleavetown—andthat’sexactlywhatheplannedtodo.He’dbeengivennochoice.
Withwinedrippingfromhisfive-o’clockshadow,Augustpushedoffthetable,swipedasleeveoverhisdampface,andstormedacrossthelawntotheparkinglot,failurelikeathornstuckdeadinthecenterofhischest.Hewasalmosttohistruckwhenafamiliarvoicecalledoutbehindhim.Natalie.Wassheactuallyfollowinghimaftertheshithe’dsaid?
“Wait!”
Fullyexpectingtoturnaroundandfindatwelve-gaugeshotgunleveledathishead,Augustturnedonabootedheelandwatchedwarilyasthegorgeouswitchapproached.Whydidhehavetheridiculousurgetomoveinafastclipbackinherdirectionandcatchherupinakiss?She’dbreakhisfuckingjawifhetried,butGodhelphim,hisdick/gutinsisteditwastherightthingtodo.“Yeah?Yougotsomethingelseyouwanttothrowinmyface?”
“Myfist.Amongother,sharperobjects.But…”Shejerkedashoulder,appearingtosearchfortherightwords.“Look,we’renotfriends,August.Igetthat.Iinsultedyourwinethenightweweregoingtohookupandyou’veresentedmeeversince,butwhatyousaidbackthere?Implyingmylastnamemakesmesuperior?You’rewrong.”Shetookastepcloser,herheelsleavingthegrassandfindingtheasphaltoftheparkinglot.“Youdon’tknowanythingaboutme.”
Hechuckled.“Goahead,tellmeallaboutyourpainandsuffering,richgirl.”
Shethrewhimawitheringsigh.“Ididn’tsayI’vesuffered.ButIhaven’texactlycoastedalongonmylastname,asyouseemtobelieve.I’vebeenbackinSt.Helenaforonlyafewmonths.ThelastnameVosmeansnothinginNewYork.”
Augustleanedagainstthehoodofhistruckandcrossedhisarms.“Ibetthemoneythatcomeswithitdoes.”
ShegaveAugustalook.Onethatsuggestedhewastrulyinthedark—andhedidn’tlikethat.Didn’tlikethepossibilitythathewaswrongaboutthiswoman.Mainlybecauseitwastoolatetochangehisactionsnow.He’dalwayshavetowonderwhatthehellhecouldhavedonedifferentlywithNatalieVos.Butatleasthecouldwalkawayfromthisphaseofhislifeknowinghe’ddonehisbestforSam.That’sallhehad.
“Didyoueverwanttogettoknowme?Orwasitjust…”Herattentiondroppedfleetinglytohiszipper,thenaway,butitwasenoughtomakehimfeellikehewasbackinthatmiddleschoolpeprallytryingnottogetexcited.“Justaboutsex?”
Whatthehellwashesupposedtosay?
Thathe’dseenheracrosstheroomatthatstupidWineDownNapaeventandfeltlikehe’dhadanarrowshotintohischestbyaflyingbaby?Thathispalmshadsweatbecauseofawomanforthefirsttimeeverthatnight?He’dalreadybeeninthatViennesecountrysideholdingapicnicbasketinonehandandanacousticguitarintheother.God,shewassobeautifulandinterestingandfuckinghilarious.Wherehadshebeenallhislife?
Oh,butthensomehowitallwenttoshit.He’dlethispridegetinthewayof…what?Whatwouldhavehappenedifhe’djusttakenherverbaldisapprovalofhiswineonthechinandmovedforward?Whatifhehadn’tequatedittodisapprovalofhisbestfriend’saspirations?Wasthereanyusewonderingaboutanyofthisshitnow?
No.
He’drunoutofcapital.Thewinerywasanunmitigateddisaster.HewasthelaughingstockofSt.Helena,andhe’ddraggedhisbestfriend’snamewithhimintothemud.
Timetogo,man.
“Oh,Natalie.”Heslappedahandoverhischest.“ObviouslyIwantedtotwirlyouaroundonamountaintopinViennawhileourchildrenfrolickedandharmonizedincurtainclothes.Didn’tyouknow?”
Sheblinkedafewtimesandherexpressionflattenedasshesteppedbackintothegrass.Augusthadtofisthishandstopreventhimselffromreachingforher.
“Well,”shesaid,hervoicesoundingalittlerusty.Dammit.“HavealovelyeveningathomewithyourSoundofMusicreferencesandcozynestofwinerats.Ihopeyou’repayingthemalivingwage.”
“Itwon’tbemyhomemuchlonger.”Hethrewahandtowardtheeventthatwasstillinfullswingbehindthem,thejudgestakingpictureswiththeaudiencemembers,morewinebeingservedonsilvertrays.“Thiscontestwasitforme.I’mmovingon.”
Shelaughedasifhewasjoking,soberingslightlywhenhejuststaredback.“Wow.Youreallycan’ttakealittleconstructivecriticism,canyou?”
Augustscoffed.“Isthatwhatitwas?Constructive?”
“IthoughtSEALsweresupposedtobetough.You’relettingwinemakingtakeyoudown?”
“Idon’thaveabottomlessbankaccountlikesomepeopleinthistown.Incaseitwasn’tclear,I’mtalkingaboutyou.”
Forsomereason,thatmadeherlaugh.Abeatofsilencepassed,thenshesaid,“You’vegotmeallfiguredout,August.Congratulations.”Sheturnedonthetoeofherhighheelandbreezedaway,movingthatleatherskirtsidetosideintheworld’scruelestpartingshot.“Mysincerecondolencestothetownwhereyouendupnext,”shecalledbackoverhershoulder.“Especiallytothewomen.”
“Youwouldn’tbesayingthatifyoudroppedthedisgustedactandcamehomewithme.”Forsomereason,everystepshetookintheoppositedirectionmadehisstomachlurchwithmoreandmoreseverity.“It’snottoolate,Natalie.”
Shestoppedwalkingandheheldhisbreath,notfullyawareuntilthisverymomenthowbadlyheactuallywantedher.Maybeevenneeded.Thecontinuedflowofhisbloodseemedtohingeonherresponse.“You’reright,it’snottoolate,”shesaid,turning,chewingherlip,eyesvulnerableinamannerthatstuckaswallowinhisthroat.I’llneverbemeantoheragain.“It’swaytoolate,”sheconcludedwithapinkiewave,herexpressiongoingfromdefenselesstovenomous.“Gotohell,AugustCates.”
Hisstomachbottomedout,leavinghimalmosttoowindedforareply.“Hell,huh?Youroldstompinggrounds,right?”
“Yup!”Shedidn’tevenbotherturningaround.“That’swhereImetyourmom.Shesaidshe’dratherliveinhellthandrinkyourwine.”
Acrankturnedinhisribcageasshemovedoutofearshot.Toofartohearhimovertheeventmusicthathadstartedup.Definitelytoofartotouch,sowhywerehisfingersitchingforherskin?HischanceswithNatalieweresubzeronow.Justlikehischanceatsucceedingasavintner.Withafinallonglookattheonewhogotaway,Augustcursed,climbedintohistruck,andtoreoutoftheparkinglot,ignoringthestrongsenseofleavingsomethingundone.
ChapterTwo
Nataliesearchedblindlyinthedarkforthebuttononhersoundmachine,crankingthesymphonyofrainandbullfrogstothemaximumlevel.JulianandHallietriedtobequiet.Theyreallydid.Butbedspringscreakatfouro’clockinthemorningforonlyonereason—andcreaktheydid.Nataliecoveredherfacewithapillowforgoodmeasureandrolledbackintothesheets,employingwhatshecalledtheStateCapitalsMethod.Ontheoccasionsherbrotherandhisnewgirlfrienddecidedtomakelovedownthehallwayintheguesthousetheyallshared,Natalieavoidedthattroublingimagerybynamingstatecapitals.
Montgomery,Juneau,Phoenix…
Squeaksqueaksqueak.
Thatwasit.
Nataliesatupinbedandpushedoffhersleepmask,givingthewinedizzinessamomenttodissipate.Nomoreexcuses.Itwastimetobitethebulletandgotalktohermother.ItwastimetogetthehelloutofNapa.She’dbeenlickingherwoundsfartoolong,andwhileshewashappybeyondwordsforJuliantohavefoundtheloveofhislife,shedidn’tneedtowitnessitinsurroundsound.
Shethrewoffthecoversandstood,herhipbumpingintothenightstandandknockingoveranemptywineglass.Oneoffour—asifsheneededanothersignthatshe’dturnedintoalushinthenameofavoidingherproblems.
Lifehadgroundtoastandstill.
Lookingoutthewindowofthebackbedroom,shecouldseethemainhousewhereshe’dgrownupandCorinne,hermother,currentlylived.Thatwasherdestinationinthemorning.Askinghermotherformoneywasgoingtostinglikeathousandwasps,butwhatchoicedidshehave?IfshewasgoingtoreturntoNewYorkandopenherowninvestmentfirm,sheneededcapital.
Hermotherwasn’tgoingtomakeiteasy.No,shewasprobablywaitingrightnowinfrontofaroaringfire,dressedinallherfinery,havingsensedthatNataliewasonthevergeofhumblingherself.Sure,they’dhadafewsoftermomentssinceNatalie’sreturntoSt.Helena,butjustunderthesurface,she’dalwaysbetheEmbarrassmenttoCorinne.
Natalietossedhereyemaskinthedirectionofthesad,emptywineglassquartetandploddedintotheensuitebathroom.Mightaswellgetthetalkoverwithearly,right?ThatwayifCorinnesaidnotoNatalie’sproposal,atleastshe’dhavethewholedaytowallow.AndthiswasNapa,sowallowingcouldbemadeveryfashionable.She’dfindawinetastingandcharmeveryoneinattendance.Peoplewhohadnoideashe’dbeenaskedtostepdownasapartnerofherfinancefirmforawildlymassivetradeblunderthatcost,oh,acoolbillion.
Norwouldtheyknowshe’dbeenkickedtothecurbbyherfiancé,whohadbeentooembarrassedtomeetheratthealtar.
BackinNewYork?Personanongrata.
InSt.Helena?Royalty.
Snort.Natalieshedhersleepshirtandsteppedbeneaththehotshowerspray.Andifshethoughtherbrotherdoingthedeedconstitutedanunwantedimage,ithadnothingonthememoryofAugustCatesyesterdayafternooninallhisbeefcakeglory.
Idon’thaveabottomlessbankaccountlikesomepeopleinthistown.
Ifonly.
Nataliedidn’thaveanythingtocomplainabout.Shewaslivinginabeautifulguesthouseonthegroundsofavineyard,forgod’ssake.Butshe’dbeenlivingoffhersavingsformorethanamonthnowandshecouldbarelyopenalemonadestand,letalonelaunchafirm,withtheamountleftover.Shehadprivilege,butfinancialfreedompresentedachallenge.Oneshecouldhopefullyovercomethismorning.Allitwouldcostwasherpride.
ThefactthatAugustCatesplannedtoleaveSt.Helenaimminentlyhadnothingtodowithhersuddenurgencytoleave,too.Nothingwhatsoever.Thatbig,incompetentbuffoonandhisdecisionshadnobearingonherlife.Sowhythepitinherstomach?Ithadbeentheresinceheapproachedthetabletohavehiswinejudgedyesterday.ThemanhadachipthesizeofDenveronhisshoulder,buthealwayshadkindofa…softnessinhiseyes.Arelaxed,observantqualitythatsaidI’veseeneverything.Icanhandleanything.
Butitwasmissingyesterday.
AnditcaughtNatalieoffguardhowmuchitthrewher.
He’dlookedresigned.Closedoff.
Now,dryingherhairinfrontofthefoggybathroommirror,shecouldn’tpretendthatholeinherbellywasn’tyawningwider.WherewouldAugustgo?Whatwouldhedonowthatwinemakingwasoffthetable?
WhowasAugustCates?
Partofher—apartshewouldneveradmittooutloud—hadwonderedifshewouldfindouteventually.Inaweakmoment.Orbyaccident.
Hadshebeenlookingforwardtothat?
Natalieturnedoffthedryerwithasnappymovement,ranthebrushonefinaltimethroughherlong,blackhair,andleftthebathroom,crossingtohercloset.Sheputonasleevelessblacksweaterdressandleatherloafers,addedaswipeofnudelipstickandsomegoldearrings.Bythetimeshewasfinished,shecouldseethroughtheguestroomwindowthatlightswereoninthemainhouseandshetookalongbreath,banishingthejitters.
TheworstCorinnecouldsaywasno,Natalieremindedherselfonthewayupthepaththatranalongsidethefragrantvineyard.Thesunhadn’trisenyet,butthebarestrimofgoldoutlinedMountSt.Helena.Shecouldalmostfeelthegrapeswakingupandturningtowardthepromiseofwarmthfromabove.Partofhertrulylovedthisplace.Itwasimpossiblenotto.Thesmelloffertileearth,thetradition,themagic,theintricateprocess.Thousandsofyearsago,someindustrious—andprobablybored—peoplehadburiedbottlesofgrapejuiceundergroundforthewinterandinventedwine,whichprovedNatalie’stheory:wherethereisawilltogetdrunk,dammit,thereisaway.
Shepausedatthebottomoftheporchstepsleadingtothemainhouse.Old-worldcharmoozedfromeveryinchofherchildhoodhome.Greeneryspilledoverflowerboxesbeneatheverywindow,rockingchairsurgedpeopletositandrelax,andthetrickleofthepool’swaterfixturecouldbeheardfromthefrontofthehouse,eventhoughitwaslocatedbehindit.Agorgeousmanorthatneverfailedtomakewineryvisitorsswoon.Theplacewasincredible.Butshehadmoreaffectionfortheguesthousethanthemanorwhereshe’dlivedfrombirthtocollege.Andrightnow,allitrepresentedwastheobstacleahead.
Amomentlater,sheknockedonthedoorandheardthesoundoffootstepsapproachingontheotherside.Thepeepholedarkened,thelockturned—andthenshewaslookingatCorinne.
“Seriously?”Nataliesighed,givingherstatelymotheraonce-over,takinginthesmoothedblack-grayhairandperfectposture.Evenherwrinkleswereartful,allowedontoherfacebyinvitationonly.“You’refullydressedatfiveo’clockinthemorning?”
“Icouldsaythesameaboutyou,”Corinnerepliedwithoutmissingabeat.
“True,”Nataliesaid,slidingintothehousewithoutaninvitation.“ButIdon’tlivehere.Doyouevenownabathrobe?”
“Didyoucomeheretodiscusssleepwear?”
“Nope.Humorme.”
Corinneclosedthedoorfirmly,thenlockedit.“OfcourseIownarobe.Normally,Iwouldbewearingituntilatleastseven,butIhavevirtualmeetingsthismorning.”Inanuncharacteristicmove,hermotherletasmilepeekthroughbeforeitwasquicklyquelled.“YourbrotherhasnegotiatedadealmakingustheofficialwineofseveralweddingvenuesdowntheCaliforniacoast.Heisreallyhelpingturnthingsaroundforus.”
“Yeah,heis.”Nataliecouldn’thelpbutfeelasparkofprideinherbrother.Afterall,he’dovercomehisownbaggagepertainingtothisplaceandlandedontheothersidemuchbetteroff.Atthesametime,however,Nataliecouldn’tignorethewistfulnessdriftingthroughherbreast.God,justonce,she’dlovesomeonetotalkaboutherlikeCorinnespokeaboutJulian.Likeshewasvital.Valued.Wantedandneeded.“It’shardtotellhimnowhenhe’sspeakinginhissternprofessorvoice.Takespeoplerightbacktoseventhgrade.”
“Whateverhe’sdoing,it’sworking.”Corinnesquaredhershouldersandmovedfartherintothefoyer,gesturingforNatalietoprecedeherintothelivingspaceandtotheright,overlookingtheramblingvineyardandthemountainsbeyond.TheytookseatsonoppositeendsofthehardcouchthathadbeentheresinceNatalie’schildhoodandwasalmostneverused.Vosesdidn’tgather
Theykeptmoving.
Sointheinterestoffamilytradition,NatalieturnedtowardCorinneandfoldedherhandsononeknee.“Mother.”Ifshe’dlearnedanythingfromphaseoneinthefinanceindustry,itwastolookapersonintheeyewhenaskingformoney,andshedidsonow.“Iknowyouwillagree—it’stimeformetogobacktoNewYork.I’vebeenincontactwithClaudia,oneofmypreviousanalysts,andshe’sagreedtocomeonboardwithmynewcompany.We’regoingtobesmall,moreofaboutiquefirm,butbothofushaveenoughconnectionstofacilitatesteadygrowth.Withacoupleofsmartplays—”
“Wow.”Corinneframedherjawwithathumbandindexfinger.“You’vebeenmakingimportantphonecallsinbetweenwinebinges.Ihadnoidea.”
Clang.Adinginthearmor.
Okay.
She’dexpectedthatandwaspreparedforit.Justkeepgoing.
Nataliekeptherfeaturescomposedinanattempttodisguisehowfastherheartwasnowbeating.Whywasitthatshecouldmakemillion-dollartradeswithoutherpulseskipping,butonebarbfromCorinneandshemightaswellbedanglingfromthesideofaskyscraperbyapinkie,coldsweatbreakingoutbeneathherdress?
Parents.Man,theytrulymesseduptheirkids.
“Yes,Ihavebeenmakingcalls,”Natalierepliedcalmly.Shedidn’tdenythewinebinges,because,yeah.She’ddefinitelydonethat.“Claudiaisworkingonliningupaninvestorrightnow,butbeforeanyoneintheirrightmindgivesusmoney,we’llneedtoregisteranewbusinessname.Weneedanofficeandsomeskinintheinvestmentgame,howeverlight.”Shetriednottobeobviousabouttakingabracingbreath.“Bottomline,Ineedcapital.”
Noteventheslightestreactionfromhermother.She’dseenthiscominganditburned,eventhoughthey’dbothbeenawarethistalkwasonthehorizon.
“Surelyyou’vesavedsomemoney,”Corinnesaidsmoothly,agray-blackeyebrowliftinggracefullytowardherhairline.“Youwereapartnerinaverylucrativeinvestmentfund.”
“Yes.Iwas.Unfortunately,thereisacertainlifestylethathastobemaintainedforpeopletotrustfinancierswiththeirmoney.”
“Thatisafancywayofsayingyoulivedaboveyourmeans.”
“Perhaps.Yes.”Ohboy,keepingherirritationatbaywasgoingtobeevenharderthanshethought.Corinnehadcomelockedandloadedforthisconversation.“Theexcessisnecessary,however.Partiesanddesignerclothingandvacationsandexpensiveroundsofgolfwithclients.MorrisonandIhadanapartmentonParkAvenue.Nottomention,we’dputdownanonrefundabledepositonourweddingvenue.”
Thatlastpartburned.Ofcourseitdid.
She’dbeenoffloadedbyamanwho’dclaimedtoloveher.
Butforsomereason,Morrison’sfacedidn’tmaterialize.No,insteadshesawAugust.Wonderedwhathewouldsayaboutasix-figuredepositonTribecaRooftop.Hewouldlooksooutofplaceamongtheweddingguests.He’dprobablyshowupinjeans,aballcap,andthatfadedgraynavyT-shirt.Hewouldcrushherexinanarm-wrestlingmatch,too.Whydidthatmakeherfeelbetterenoughtocontinue?
“Inshort,yes,Idohavesomemoney.IfIwassimplygoingbacktoNewYork,Icouldaffordtofindanapartmentandlivecomfortablyforafewmonths.ButthatisnotwhatIwanttodo.”Thekickofadrenalineinherbloodstreamfeltgood.Ithadbeenalongtime.Ormaybewhilegettinglittomournthelossofeverythingshe’dworkedfor,she’daccidentallynumbedherambition,too.Rightnow,inthismoment,shehaditback.Shewasthewomanwhousedtolookdownatrowsofanalystsfromherglassofficeanddemandtheyeattheircompetition’sballsforbreakfast.“Iwanttoreturnbetterthanever.Iwantmyformercolleaguestorealizetheymadeamistake…”
“Youwanttorubitintheirfaces,”Corinnesupplied.
“Maybealittle,”Natalieadmitted.“Imighthavemadeonehugemistake,butIknowifMorrisonTalbottheThirdhadmadethatbadcallinsteadofme,excuseswouldhavebeenmade.Heprobablywouldhavebeengivenapromotionforbeingarisk-taker.Theymetinsecretandvotedtooustme.Mypartners.Myfiancé.”Sheclosedhereyesbrieflytobeatbackthememoryofhershock.Betrayal.“Ifyouwereme,Mother,youwouldwantashottogobackandproveyourself.”
Corinnestaredatherforseveralbeats.“PerhapsIwould.”
Nataliereleasedabreath.
“Unfortunately,Idon’thavethemoneytoloanyou,”Corinnecontinued,herfacedeepeningeversoslightlywithcolor.“Asyouareaware,thevineyardhasbeendeclininginprofitability.Withyourbrother’sunexpectedhelp,we’returningitaround,butitcouldbeyearsbeforewe’rebackintheblack.AllIhaveisthishouse,Natalie.”
“Mytrustfund,”Nataliesaidfirmly,forcingitoutintotheopen.“I’maskingformytrustfundtobereleased.”
“My,timeshavechanged,”Corinnesaidwithalaugh.“WhenyougraduatedfromCornell,whatwasitthatyousaidatyourpostceremonydinner?Youwouldnevertakeadimefromusaslongasyoulived?”
“I’mthirtyyearsoldnow.Pleasedon’tthrowsomethinginmyfacethatIsaidwhenIwastwenty-two.”
Corinnesighedandrefoldedherhandsinherlap.“Youarewellawareofthetermsofyourtrustfund,Natalie.YourfathermightberacingcarsinItalyandparadingaroundwithwomenhalfhisagelikeafool,buthesetforththelanguageofthetrustandasfarasthebankisconcerned,he’sstillincontrol.”
Natalielungedtoherfeet.“Thelanguageinthatcontractisarchaic.Howcanitevenbelegalinthisdayandage?Therehastobesomethingyoucando.”
Hermotherletabreathseepout.“Naturally,Iagreewithyou.Butyourfatherwouldhavetosignoffonthechange.”
“Iamnotgoinggrovelingtothatman.Notafterhejustblewusoffandpretendslikewedon’texist.Notwhenheleftyoutododamagecontrolafterthefirefouryearsago.”
Corinne’sattentionshottothevineyard,whichwaslighteninginthepathofthesun.“Iwasn’tawareyoucared.”
“OfcourseIcare.Youaskedmetoleave.”
“Ohplease.Youcouldn’thavemadeitmoreclearyouwantedtogetbacktothealmightyratraceofNewYork,”hermotherscoffed.
Theyobviouslyrememberedthatperiodafterthefireverydifferently.Gettingintothesemanticsofthelasttimeshe’dbeeninSt.Helenawouldn’tdohercauseanygoodnow.“We’llhavetoagreetodisagreeonthat.”
Corinneappearedpoisedtoargue,butvisiblychangedcourse.“Myhandsaretied,Natalie.Thetermsofthetrustaresetinstone.Therecipientmustbegainfullyemployedandmarriedforthemoneytobereleased.IrealizethatsoundslikesomethingoutofRegencyEngland,notmodern-dayCalifornia,butyourfatherisold-schoolItalian.Hisparents’marriagewasarranged.It’sglamoroustohim.It’stradition.”
“It’ssexist.”
“NormallyIwouldagree,butthetermsofJulian’strustarethesame.Whenthecontractwassetforth,yourfatherhadsomegrandvisioninhismind.YouandJulianwithyourflourishingfamiliestakingoverthewinery.Grandchildreneverywhere.Success.”Shemadeanabsentgesture.“Whenyoubothleftwithoutanyintentionofjoiningthefamilybusiness,itbrokesomethinginsideofhim.Thefirewasthefinalstraw.I’mnotmakingexcusesforhim,I’mjusttryingtogiveyouadifferentperspective.”
Natalieloweredherselfbackdowntothecouchandimploredhermotherwithalook.“Please,therehastobesomethingwecando.Ican’tstayhereforever.”
“Oh,I’msosorrythatstayinginyourfamilyhomefeelslikeexile.”
“YoutrywakingupeverymorningtothesoundofJulianandHallietryingandfailingtostifletheirsexnoisesdownthehall.”
“JesusChrist.”
“Yes.TheycallforthesonofGod,too,sometimeswhentheythinkI’mnothome.”
Withawitheringeyeroll,Corinnepushedtoherfeetandstrodetothefrontwindow.“Youwouldthinkyourfather’shastydeparturewouldbruisetheloyaltyofhislocalfriendsandassociates,butIassureyou,ithasnot.Theystillhavehimuponapedestal—andthatincludesIngramMeyer.”
“Who?”
“IngramMeyer,anoldfriendofyourfather’s.He’stheloanofficerattheSt.HelenaCreditUnion,butmoreimportantly,he’sthetrusteeofyoursandJulian’strustfunds.Believeme,hewillfollowyourfather’sinstructionstotheletter.”
Natalie’sjawhadtobetouchingthefloor.“SomemanI’veneverheardof—ormet—holdsmyfutureinhishands?”
“I’msorry,Natalie.Thebottomlineisthat…shortofconvincingyourfathertoamendtheterms,thereisnothingIcando.”
“Iwouldn’taskyoutodothat.”Nataliesighed.“Notafterhowheleft.”
Corinnewassilentamoment.“Thankyou.”
Thatwasit.Theendoftheconversation.Therewasnothingmoretobesaid.Currently,Nataliewasthefurthestthingfromgainfullyemployed.Andevenfurtherfrombeingmarried.Thepatriarchywinsagain.She’dhavetoreturntoNewYorkwithhertailbetweenherlegsandaskforalow-levelpositionatoneofthefirmsshe’doncecalledrivals.Theywouldeatupherhumilitywithaspoonandshe’d…grinandbearit.Pullingtogetherenoughmoneytoopenherownbusinesswouldprobablytakeadecade,butshewoulddoit.She’ddoitonherown.
“Okay.”Resigned,hollow,Nataliestoodonshakylegsandsmoothedtheskirtofherdress.“Goodluckwithyourmeetingsthismorning.”
CorinnesaidnothingasNatalieleftthehouse,closingthedoorbehindheranddescendingthestepswithherchinup.Thismorning,shewouldheadintotown,getherhairandnailsdone.Attheveryleast,shecouldlookgoodwhenshelandedbackinNewYork,right?
Buteverythingchangedonthewaybackfromgettingthatbalayage—andlikesomeweirdnurseryrhymefromhell,itinvolvedacat,arat…andaSEAL.
ChapterThree
Heshouldhaveclosedthefrontdoor.
Nowthegoddamncatwasgone.She’dflownthecoopinprotestofhispreliminarystagesofpacking.Verypreliminary.He’donlytakenthesuitcaseoutoftheclosetandopeneditonhisbed.Aftersniffingit,climbinginside,andtakingafewlapsaroundhisluggage,Menacehadslunkofftothekitchen.Augustassumedshecouldn’tcarelessabouthispackingactivities,butheforgotthecardinalruleaboutcats.
Changeequaledassault.Andtheywerecasualintheirrevenge.
Nowherehewas,joggingalongthepathbetweenhisdisastrouswineryandtheroad,callingoutforadeafcat.Howhaditcometothis?
Menaceneverleftthehouse.Augustknewthatfirsthandbecauseaftershe’dshownuponedayoutoftheblueanddeclaredhimhernewcaretaker,he’dspenttwoweekstryingtocoaxherfurryassbackoutside.Apparentlyheshouldhavetriedpacking.
“Menace,”heboomed,handscuppedaroundhismouth.Maybeshecouldhearthevibrationsofhisvoiceintheair?“DoyouthinkbecauseI’mpackingthatI’mgoingtoleaveyouhere?DoyouneedtoberemindedthatIspenteighthundreddollarsatthevetlastweek?That’slong-termshit.Ididn’tevenknowcatscouldgetgingivitis.”
Silence.
Obviously.
Hisunlikelycompanionmeowedonoccasion,butitusuallyhappenedinthemiddleofthenightforabsolutelynoreasonthathecouldfigureout.He’dalwaysconsideredhimselfadogperson.No,hewasadogperson.Hejustlikedthisonecat.
Famouslastwords.
Upaheadneartheroad,therewasaflashoforange.Theresheis.
Augustpickedupthepaceofhisjog,startingtogetalittlenervousuponrealizinghowclosetheyweretotheroad.Andwhenhenoticedthedistinctrumbleofanapproachingvehicle,hestartedtosprint,sweatbreakingoutalonghisspine.
“Menace,”hebarked,cursinghimselffortakingoutthesuitcase.Afewmonthsback,he’dmovedherlitterboxdowntothelaundryroomandshe’dstoppedeatingforthreedays.Apparentlyhehadn’tlearnedhislesson.Dogsdidn’tbehaveinnonsensicalwayslikethis,buthedidn’thaveadog.Hehadadeafcatwhowastwosecondsfrombeingflattenedbyacar.Shewasmovingattoofastaclipandhewouldn’tmakeitintime.Maybethedriverwouldseeherandslowdown?Menacewasbrightfuckingorangeforcryingoutloud.
August’smouthwentdryatthescreechoftiresontheroadandamomentlater,hebrokethroughthetrees..
Onlytofindhistemperamentalfelinerolledoverontoherback,preening,twoinchesfromthefrontbumperofabluehatchback.Totallyunconcernedaboutherbrushwithdeath.Justanotherdaywreckingthelivesofhumansandgettingawaywithitbecauseofherpinknoseandtoebeans.Unbelievable.
Auguststartedtostepontotheroadsohecouldscoopupthecatandthankthedriverforbeingextravigilant,butahuskycrystoppedhiminhistracks.
Natalie?
He’dneverheardhermakethatsoundbefore—no,hisdreamsdidn’tcount—butAugustknewinstantlythatshewasthedriverofthecar.Asaresult,hisbodywentonhighalert.Thekindofalertthatcamefromtossingandturninglastnight,cursinghimselffornotbeingabletostopthinkingaboutthiswomanhedisliked,whilealsooddlyconflictedaboutsimplyleavingherintherearview.Hehadn’texpectedtoseeheragain,butthereshewas.
Pickinguphiscatandcradlingtheanimaltoherchestinaflurryofapologiesandnuzzlingandchinscratching.Ashewatcheddumbfounded,thecatleanedallthewaybackinNatalie’sarmsandlockedeyeswithhimfromherupside-downposition.Tellinghiminnouncertaintermswithherblandexpressionthatshehadotheroptions.Andthoseoptionswouldbepursuedifhemadeanotherfalsemove,likebrushinghisteethatthewrongtimeofday.
HeshouldletNatalieknowhewasstandingthere.Right.
Butitwouldn’thurttotakeafewsecondstoadmirethewomanfrombehind.Hell,itwashisfavoritepastime.Noticingthoselegs,especiallyinthedressshewaswearing.Thepointyshoesthathadjustenoughelevationtokeephercalvesflexed.SweetLord,thoselegswentonforever.Onhisdeathbed,hisfinalregretwouldbemissinghischancetofeelthemgluedtohiships.Thrashingaroundwhenshegotclose,thenwrappinghimbackupagainforthefinale.
“Poorbaby,”Nataliecroonedtothecat,rockingherlikeaninfant.“Ididn’tmeantoscareyou.Whereisyourowner?”shemurmured.
“Righthere,princess,”Augustcalled.Nataliespunaroundandhegulped.Damn.Shealwayslookedhot,buttherewassomethingextraspecialabouthertoday.“You’vegotabunchofblackshitonyoureyes.”
Herwholebodysortofdeflatedatthesightofhim.Completeexasperationinhumanform.“It’seyeliner,caveman.”
“Whyareyouwearingsomuchofit?”
Hershoulderbouncedupanddown.“MaybeIhadadate.”
Rudely,hisesophagustieditselfintoaknot.“Withwho?”
God,hehatedtheideaofheronadatemorethanhehated…anything.Justbecausetheyweren’tdatingdidn’tmeanshecouldjustdateanyoneelse,willy-nilly.Becausethatwasn’tirrationaloranything,right?
Sheswayedwiththecat,asiftryingtolulltheanimaltosleep.“Iwasn’toutwithanyone,”shemuttered.“Iwenttobuyfoundationandendedupinachairgettingmadeover.”
Hehidhisrelief.“Theysawthathigh-limitcreditcardcomingamileaway.”
Abrightsmile.“Shouldn’tyoubeoutclubbingawoolymammothorsomething?”
Augustsmirked.“Ishouldbepacking,butmycatranoff.”
Natalieadjustedherstancetojutthatshapelyhipout.“Youexpectmetobelievethisisyourcat?She’syourpet?”
“Moreaccurately,I’mherpet.”
Shescrutinizedtheanimal,liftingitupandleaningincloser.“Whyisn’tshewearingacollar?”
“Look,Idon’tknowwhatcatsallowcollarsaroundtheirnecks,butMenace”—hejabbedafingerintheanimal’sdirection—“isn’toneofthem.She’dprobablypretendtolikeitforanhourandthenI’dwakeuptofindadeaththreatwritteninbloodonmybathroommirror,signedwithapawprint.”
DidNatalie’slipsjumpalittleorwasthatwishfulthinking?
Becauseyeah,thewomanhadagorgeoussmile.He’dseenalotofitupclose.He’dtastedit.Monthshadpassedsincethatnightandtheknowledgethathe’dnevertasteitagainwasn’tgettinganyeasier.AtleastnotaslongashecontinuedtorunintoherinSt.Helena.Thisattractionhe’dbeenburdenedwithforNataliewasamotherfucker.Onceagain,hisdickruinedeverything—anditwasruininghisgetawayrightnow.Heshouldbepacking,startingthejourneytoforgettingaboutwhatmighthavebeenifhe’djustbeenlessofanasshole.Orifshewaslessofaspoiledbrat.
“Awww.Youwerejusttryingtoescapethesmelloffartsandstalebeer,weren’tyou,precious?”Nataliecroonedtothecat,layingthebabytalkonthick.
“Ifyou’retryingtoturnmycatagainstme,I’mprettysurethatshiphassailed.”
“Shehatesyou?”Foramoment,Natalieseemedsurprised,butshequicklybackpedaled.“Imean…shehatesyou.Obviously.”
“It’sminutetominute.Ineverknowwhat’scoming.”
“Whatpissedheroffthistime?”
Whydidhehesitatebeforeanswering?Noclue.“Packing.Itookoutmysuitcaseandshelitoutonadeathmission.”
Herexpressionseemedtofreezeitselfon.Shewasprobablyrestrainingherselffromcallinghimaquitteragain.“Oh.”Afewsecondstickedby,thenshestartedtowardhim,obviouslyintendingtohandoverthecat.“Well,thelastthingIwanttodoisdelayyourlongoverdueexitfromNapa.I’llletyougetbacktoit.”
August’ssmilewasbrittle.“Can’twaittoneverlookback.”
“Thewinegodsarecertainlyrejoicingthisday.”
“Youwouldknow,sincethewinegodsareyourparents.”
“Please.They’renotwinegods.”Nataliestartedtohandthecatintohisoutstretchedarms,butthefeline’sclawsweredugintotheblacksweatermaterialofherdress.Shetriedagain.Noluck.Menacewasn’tlettinggo.“Oh!Idon’twanttohurtherclaws.”
Hepushedahandthroughhishair.“She’spunishingme.”
“She’sshowingfavoritismtoyourleastfavoriteperson.I’mbeginningtothinkyou’renotexaggeratingaboutthiscat’sdiabolicalside.”
NatalieVoswasfarfromhisleastfavoriteperson,buthekeptthattohimself.Infact,upcloselikethis,hersmokyfloralscentwastakingjabsathisbrain,makinghimforgetwhatheeverhadagainstherinthefirstplace.Whocouldholdagrudgeagainstawomanthisbeautifulandsoftlooking,andsomuchshorterthanhimthathestartedtofeellikeanogre?Atleastuntilshesaid,“Areyougoingtohelpme?Orjuststandtherewithyourhairyknucklesontheground?”
“Myapologies,princess.You’reusedtopeoplesnappingtoattentiontoassistyou.”
“Ohshutup,August.Nottoday.”
Worrysnuckinandtookhold.“Why?Whathappenedtoday?”
Beforeshecouldanswer,acarapproachedontheroad,maneuveringitswayaroundNatalie’svehicle,whichwasstillidlinginthelaneheadedtowardVosVineyard.Ofcourse,Menacedidn’theartheapproachoftheoncomingtraffic,sowhenshecaughttheunexpectedmovementfromthecornerofhereye,shetensed,diggingherclawsintoNatalie’schest.
Nataliecriedoutinpain.
Augustexperiencedpanicthelikesofwhichhehadn’tseensincecombat,histhroatdroppingdownintohisstomachsohecouldn’tswallow.
“Jesus,princess.Okay.”Hishandswereuselessobjects,reachingforthecat’spawsandtugging,butsomehowmakingitworse.“I’madogperson.Idon’tknowwhattodoaboutthis.”
“Sootheher.”Nataliegaspedwhenthecatclungharder.“Calmherdown.”
“She’shardofhearing.Andpettingherisreallyamood-basedactivity.Sometimesshelikesit,sometimesshebecomespossessedbySatan.Idon’twanttomakeitworse.”
“Oh,comeon,you’relovingthis.”
“I’mnotlovingthis,Natalie.”NolongerabletostandthesightoftheclawsdiggingintoNatalie’sbody,hepulledthecatoffher,unfortunatelytearingherdressintheprocess—andrevealingseveralbleedingscratchesbelowhercollarbone.“Christ.”
Shelookeddownattheinjuriesandwinced.“It’sfine.”
“It’snotfine.”Hestormedtowardhercar,seeingtheclawmarkseverytimeheblinked.“Don’tmove.”
“Don’tordermearound.”
AugustignoredthatwhilethrowingopenthedoorofNatalie’scar,agrowling—yes,growling—Menacewedgedbeneathonearm.Thankstotheheightdifference,hewasjammedupagainstthesteeringwheeluntilheslidtheseatallthewayback.Hethrewthevehicleintodriveandpulleditontotheshoulder,tryingandfailingnottonoticethewayherscentlacedtheair.Whatwasinthoseshoppingbags?Thecontentswerewrappedintissuepaper,meaningherpurchaseshadtobefancy.Ofcoursetheywere.
Sowhywashercarthemostbasicofrentals?
Couldn’tsheaffordaMercedesorsomethingequallyhigh-end?
Tellinghimselftomindhisownbusinessandfocusonthetaskathand,Augustremovedthekeysfromtheignition,tookonelastwhiffoftheair,andclimbedout.
“Whatareyoudoing?”Nataliedemandedtoknow,herarmscrossedoverherrippeddress.“Ineedtogethome.”
“NotuntilIputsomethingonthosewounds.”Hewalkedpastherwiththehissingfeline.“Let’sgo.”
“Noway.Givememykeysback.”
“Nothappening.”
“Youexpectmetogothroughthewoodsandintoyourhomewithyou?AlonewithamanwhowouldhavenominatedmefortheSalemwitchtrialsinaheartbeat?”
ThatdrewAugustupshort.Frowning,heturnedtofaceNataliewhereshestillhesitatedatthetopofthepath.“Areyouafraidtobealonewithme?”
Shedidn’tanswer.Infact,shedidn’tseemtoknowtheanswer.
Whatevervitriollaybetweenthem,Augustwasnotokaywiththatindecision.“Natalie,thesightofthosescratchesonyouisabsolutelykillingme.I’djustassoonputamarkonyoumyselfthanIwouldpursueaballetcareer.”
Hermouthsnappedshut.Sheblinkedseveraltimesandflouncedforward,movingpasthimonthepath.“Ididn’tknowcatpeopleweresodramatic,”shemuttered.
“Onlywhentheirintegrityisinquestion,”hecountered,followingher.
“Sorry.I’llsticktoquestioningyourintelligence.”
“Thankyou.”
Hershouldersshookalittlebit.Withlaughter?Whynow,whenhecouldn’tevenseeherface?“Myonlyhopeisthatyouarebetteratrepairingwoundsthanyouareatmakingwine.”
“ConsideringI’vegivenmyselfstitchesinaduststormwithoutpainkillers—twice—I’dsayI’mupforpatchingyourkittycatscratches.”
Itwasn’tthathewassatisfiedwhenherstepfaltered,itwasthat…well,hewassickandtiredofthiswomanseeinghimasincapableandhaplessbecausehedidn’tknowhowtofermentsomefuckinggrapes.WasitimportantatthisstageforNatalietoperceivehimascapable?No.Hewasonthevergeofleaving.Andyethecouldn’thelpwantingthatapprovalfromher.Morethanhehadarightto.
Theywalkedinsilencetothehouse.Itwasasmall,California-styletwo-bedroomwitharedtileroofandbeigestuccoexterior.Histemporaryhomesatontheedgeoftheproperty,twobarnsintheneardistance.Onehe’dbeenusingforpoorlyattendedtastings,theotherforproductionandbarrelstorage.Spreadoutonallsideswererowsoffragrantgrapesstretchinguptowardthesun.Hecouldstillrememberthefeelingofsteppingontothepropertyforthefirsttime,hearingSamwhisperinhisearthatitwasperfect.Anditwas.Avibrantsliceofheaventhatheneverwouldhavebeenabletoimagineduringthosecountlessdaysinthedesert.Buthewasn’tcutoutfortheprocessittooktomakethevineyardruncorrectly.
Thewomanwaitingtobeletintohishouseknewitbetterthananyone.
Heslidhiskeyintothelockandtheirgazesmet,held,theweightofatireirondroppinglowinhisbelly.Thiswaswhatitwouldhavebeenlike,takingherhome.Gettinghishandsonher.Theywouldhaveshookthisfuckingtown
“I’mjusthereformedicalintervention,”shesaid,asuspiciousscratchinhervoice.
“I’mwellawarethat’sallyouwantfromme.”
“Good.”
“Butyou’relookingatmymouthprettycloselyforsomeonewhojustneedsaBand-Aid.”Hepushedopenthedoor.“Noharminpointingitout.”
ChapterFour
Natalieexpectedamess.Pizzaboxesanddirtygymclothesandbeerbottles.Maybeacoupleofsuspicioustissues.ButshecouldhaveeatenoffthefloorofAugust’slittlehouse.Itwasthatclean.Spiceswerelineduponthekitchencounterinfrontofacuttingboard.Thekitchenandlivingareawereconnectedandthespacewassmall,soaking-sizedeasychairwashisonlypieceoffurniture,angledtowardthetelevision.He’dmanagedtomakethesceneinvitingwitharugandabasketholdingablanket.Itwas…nice.
Actually,itbeatherwineglassgraveyardofaguestroombyamillionmiles.
“DisappointedthatIdon’thavecenterfoldstapedtomywall?”
“I’msurethey’rehiddenintheclosets,alongwiththerats,”shesaidbreezily,watchingthecatpranceoffwithanairofsuperioritytowardtherearofthehouse.
Augustcircledaroundtolookatherfaceandletoutaboominglaugh.“Lookatyou.You’reshocked.Youreallyexpectedmetoliveinafrathouse,didn’tyou?”Heenteredthebathroom,whichwasbehindthesoledoorintheshorthallwayleadingtothebedrooms,sheguessed.Flippingonthelight,hegesturedforhertofollowhimintothetinyroom.Shestartedinthatdirectionbutpausedonthethreshold,unsureaboutbeingcrowdedintosuchasmallamountofsquarefootagewithamanthatlarge.Amanshecouldn’tseemtostopbeingattractedto,despitethefactthathewasjudgmentalandrudeandseemedtoseetheabsoluteworstinher.“Didyoureallygiveyourselfstitchesinaduststormtwice?”
Augustpausedintheactofrootingthroughhismedicinecabinet.Hishand,holdingabottleofrubbingalcohol,droppedtothevanity.“Yeah.”
“Where?”
Heturnedslightly,proppingahiponthesink.“Why?Youwanttojudgemyhandiworkbeforeyoudeemmesuitabletofixyourroyalboo-boo?”
No.Shewastryingtodelaythemomentwhentheywouldbestandingcloseenoughtotouch,becausehescrambledherbraintothepointwhereshestartedtodebatethemeritsofsleepingwithhimevenafteroveramonthofinsultsandteasing.“It’sagoodpracticetoaskforcredentials.”
“Evenifthosecredentialsarehighonmyinnerthigh?”
“Bothofthem?”
“Oneofthem.”HeturnedawayandhoisteduphisT-shirt,baringaprofuselymuscledback,devoidofink,unlikehisarms,oneofwhichproudlyborethenavyinsignia.Notthatshewouldhavenoticedatattoowhenhisrightshoulderwassplitinhalfbyapuckered,painful-lookingscar.“Here’stheother.Notmybestwork,butIdidn’thaveamirroratthetime.”
“Yes.”Shetriedtoswallow.Couldn’t.God,hewasahumanbulldozer.She’dhavetoholdonfordearlifeinbedwithhim.Soundedterrible.Justawful.“Bestforyoutostayawayfrommirrors.”
Hedroppedhisshirtwithasnort.“Don’tactlikeyouweren’treadytoclimbmelikealadder,princess.”
Noliesdetected.Thatwasthen,however.Thiswasnow.“Shameyouhadtoopenyourmouth,isn’tit?”
Augustdraggedhistonguealonghisfullbottomlip.“Youwouldhavelovedmymouth.”
Herskinwasthetemperatureofthesun.“CanwegetthisoverwithorareyouhopingIbleedtodeath?”
Inthespaceofaheartbeat,hisexpressionwentfromarroganttoconcerned.“Sorry.Comehere.”
Theapologycaughtheroffguard.Somuchsothatshekindoflurchedintothebathroom,toostunnedtodoanythingbutreleasetherippededgesofherdressandwatchhimapplyrubbingalcoholtoacottonball,tryingnottonoticehisfresh,fruityscentwhilehedidso.“Whydoyousmelllikegrapefruit?”
“It’sthishandmadesoapIuse,”hesaidabsently,browfurrowedwhilehedabbedatherclawmarks,hisslow,warmbreathstirringherhairline.“Theoneandonlypersonwhoeverlikedmywineistoobroketobuyit,soshetradesmesoapforabottlehereandthere.”
“Howdidshelosehersenseoftaste?Hotsauceaccident?”
“Funny.”
“Whoisshe?”Thequestionwasoutbeforeshecouldwrangleitbackinherthroat.Shesoundedlikeajealousgirlfriend,kindoflikeAugusthadearlierwhenshe’dliedaboutbeingonherwaytoadate.Goodthingthismanwasleavingtown,becausetheirdynamicgrewmoreconfusingbytheday.“Nevermind.It’snoneofmybusiness.”
“No.It’snot,”hedrawled,rippingopenthewrappersoftwoBand-Aidsatonce.“ButI’mgoingtotellyouanyway,soyoudon’tsnapoffthecountertop.”
Natalie’sgazeflewdowntowhereherhandsweredeath-grippingtheledgeofthevanity,releasingthewhitemarbleasquicklyaspossible.“Therubbingalcoholstung.”
“Uh-huh.”Bottomlipfixedbetweenhisteethtotrapanobviouslaugh,helaidthefirstBand-Aidonherchest.Slowly.Smoothingiteversogentlyfromtoptobottomwithhisthumb.Andherstupid,duplicitoushormonesperkeduplikeahouseplantafterbeingwatered.NataliehadtoresistarchingherbackwhileheappliedthesecondBand-Aid,takinghissweettime,almostlikehewasenjoyingherconfusingdistress.“She’samotheroftriplets—theonewhotradesmesoap.I’mprettysureanythingthatgetsherbuzzedafterbedtimetastesgood.”
“Oh.TeriFrasier?Isawherintownlastweekpushingtheminastrollerasbigasatank.SheandIwenttoschooltogether.”
“Iknow.”
Hernosewrinkled.“Howdoyouknow?”
Augustappearedtobesilentlykickinghimself.“Youtwoseemedaboutthesameage,soIaskedher.”
“Why?”
Hehesitated.Didhisfacedeepenwithcolorslightly?“Justmakingsmalltalk.”
Atsomepointduringthethrustandparryoftheirconversation,he’dmovedincloser.Thesinkdugintothesmallofherback.Thatpartofherthathe’dexcitedmonthsago,butneverfulfilled,wasrequestingpaymentinfull.Hisjeanswouldfeelsogoodonhernakedinnerthighs.He’dpullherhairinthosebigfistsandshecouldfinally,finally,getthisoafoutofhersystem.Whatharmcoulditdo?Hewasleaving,wasn’the?
NatalielookedupatAugustthroughhereyelashes,herrighthandliftingwiththeintentionofexploringthosehardmusclesthroughhisshirt.“Iwasthinking—”
“Shementionedyouspentmostofyourtimedrunkbackthen,too.”Hechuckled.
Icecrystallizedonherskin,herhanddroppinglikeastone.
Hecaughtit,frowning.Searchingherexpression.“Wait.Whoa.Whatwereyougoingtosay?Youwerethinkingwhat?”
“Nothing.”
“Tellme.”
Disguisingtheuncomfortableweightinherchestwithasaccharine-sweetsmile,shescootedoutfrombetweenhishugebodyandthevanity,fleeingthebathroom.Butnotbeforethrowingapartingshotoverhershoulder.“Don’tletthedoorhityouintheassonthewayoutoftown,August.”
“Natalie,”hegrowled,stompingafterher.“Wait.”
“Can’t.Ineedfreshair.Yourstupidityisobviouslycontagious.”
“Ihaveyourcarkeys.”
Shehaltedwithonehandonthedoorknob,turned,andheldoutherhand.“Givethemtome.”
Hemadenomovetotakethemoutofhispocket.Instead,hejerkedhischininthedirectionofthebathroom.“Youweregoingtotouchmeinthere.”
“Asyoupointedout,mylifehasbeenaseriesofbaddecisions.”Ifthatlookonhisfacewasregret,shedidn’twanttoknow.Didn’twanttoexplorewhyhewasregretful,becausetherewasalreadyanotchinherthroatandpressurebetweenhershoulderblades.“Look,I’vehadaprettyroughday,soifIwasponderingamoveonyou,itwouldhavebeenpurelyoutoftheneedforadistraction.”
Sheexpectedhimtopounceonthatlastpart.Totryandpersuadehertospendthenextfewhoursdistractedinoneofthosebackbedrooms.Tohersurprise,hedidn’t.“Whydidyouhavearoughday?”
“I’mnotgivingyouthatkindofammunition.”
“WhatdoesitmatterifI’mleaving?”
Hehadherthere.
Anddamn,Nataliewassuddenlydesperatetogettheweightoffherchest.SherefusedtointerruptJulianandHallie’sfreakishhappinesswithherproblems.AllofherfriendswereinNewYork—mostlysurface-levelacquaintanceswhoalsoworkedinfinance.Totheircredit,whenshe’dmadethebadtradeandthefirmrequestedthatshestepdown,theyhadn’tabandonedher.Buttheiremailsandtextshadthinnedoverthelastfewweeks,agradualghostingthatleftthemwithaclearconscienceandherwithnoonetocall.
CouldsheventtoAugust?
Despitetheacerbicnatureoftheirrelationship,shecouldn’thelpbutfeellike…theykneweachother.Hewasnotastranger.
Sheshookoffthecomfortitgavehertoacknowledgethat.
No.Whatever.She’dtalktohimbecauseitwasafreechancetounload.Hewasleavingandwouldn’tbeabletouseanyoftheinformationtomakefunofher.
“I,um…”Shecrossedherarmsprotectivelyoverhermiddle,wonderingwhyhewatchedtheactionsoclosely.“You’llbegleefultoknowthatIhumbledmyselfthismorningbyaskingmymotherformoney.IaskedhertoreleasemytrustfundandIwasdenied.”
Hisbrowsknittogetherasheprocessedthat.“Trustfund.Shouldn’tthatbereleasedwhenyoubecomealegaladult?”
“Inmostcases,yes,butmyfathermadecertain…requirements.”
“Suchas?”
Wasshereallygoingtotellhimthis?Yeah.Whynot?Nothingcouldmaketodayanyworse.Notevenhisridicule.“NotonlyamIobligatedtobegainfullyemployed,Iamrequiredtobemarriedinorderforthetrusteetoreleasetheassets.Julian,too.”
Afullfivesecondstickedby.“You’relying.”
Itwasn’tanaccusation.Hewas…satisfyinglyshocked.“Nope,”shesaidslowly,hopingshewasreadinghimright.“MyfatherlivesinItalynow.Basically,he’sinflictinghiswillonmeallthewayfromthemotherlandandhisrulesarecirca1930old-school.BothmymotherandIwouldratherstickourfeetinalakefullofpiranhasthanreachoutandaskhimforafavorafterafour-yearsilence.Imagineifhesaidnoandwesacrificedthatfinalshredofpridefornothing?”Sheshrugged.“Also,IthinkthereisapartofmymotherthatenjoysNapabeingmyonlyoptionforawhilelonger.”
“Youronlyoptionforwhat?”Herearedbackalittle.“You’renot…broke.”
“Notbrokebroke.Butnotflushenoughto…”Shepausedtowetherdrylips.“I’mstartingmyownhedgefundinNewYorkalongwithacolleagueofmine,andweneedcapitaltoappearappealingtoinvestors.”
“That’swhatyouweredoingbefore.WallStreetshit?”
Sherolledhereyes.“Yes.Youknow,theshitthatpowerstheeconomy.”
Hesnorted,wavedthatoff.“You’dratherbeinanovercrowdedcitythanyourfamily’svineyardinNapa?”
“It’scomplicated.”
“Soundslikeyou’recomplicated.”
“I’lltakecomplicatedoversimple.”Sheheldherhandsoutforthekeys,wigglingherfingers,butheignoredthegesture.“August.”
“Onesecond.”Hefoldedhisarmsoverhispowerfulchest,clearedhisthroat.“Youdon’thaveanymarriageprospects,right?Youwouldn’tmarryjusttogetthatmoney,wouldyou?”
“Imight,”shesaid,eventhoughitwasn’treallyanoptionshe’dconsidered.Herprospectswerenil.Whatwasthepoint?
Wasitherimaginationordidlightningstrikeinthedepthsofhiseyes?“Idon’tlikeit.”
“Iwantthefirm.I…needthefirm.OtherwiseI’mgoingtobeknownforeverasadisappointment.Ascrew-up.Astorytheytellatcocktailhour.”
Shewassayingtoomuchnow.Thatlastpartdidn’tneedtobeaired.Itwashers.Butshecouldn’tdenythatthepressureinherchesteasedonthetailendoftheconfession.
“CanIpleasehavemykeys?”shesaidquietly.“Ineedtogo.”
Augustseemedtoshakehimself,buthisattentionneverstrayedfromherface.“Sure.Yeah.”Hehandedthemover,butwhensheturnedtoleave,hecaughtherwristinaloosegrip.“Hey,forwhateverit’sworth,Iknowwhatit’sliketofail.SankeverylastdimeIhadintothisplaceandthebanklaughedmeoutthedoorwhenIappliedforaloan.”
Thatgaveherpause.“WashisnameIngramMeyer?”
Heappearedtosearchhismemorybank.“Yeah.That’stheguy.”
“Whatacoincidence.He’smyfather’strustee,”Nataliemurmured,peeringupattheex-SEAL,seeinghimthroughfresheyes.Ormaybeshewassimplylookingathimtheoriginalway,asshe’ddonethenightthey’dmet.Whenhewasaperfectgentleman.Whenthey’dgravitatedtowardeachotherlikemagnets.
No.MorelikethebowoftheTitanicspeedingtowardtheiceberg.
He’sthesamemanwhohasbeenaninsufferablejerkformonths.Findingallofherweakspotsandpokingthemrelentlessly.Mostlikely,he’dsoftenedhisdemeanornowonlybecausehesensedachancetogetlaid.Nowaywasshegivinghimthatsatisfaction.Evenifitwouldmeansatisfactionforher,too.Somehowshejustknewitwould.Buttheirobviouschemistrywasneitherherenorthere.Thiswastheendoftheroad.
“Goodluckwhereveryouland,August,”shemurmured,pullingherwristoutofhisgrip,tryingnottoshowherreactiontohisswipinghisthumboverherpulse.“Ifyoufeelastrongwindbehindyouonyourwayoutoftown,that’swinecountrysighinginrelief.”
Hewinked,thensaunteredbackafewstepswithasmirkthatneverquitereachedhiseyes.“Maybe.Butyouweredefinitelygoingtokissmeinthebathroom,princess.”
“IfIwas,itwouldhavebeenpurelytoshutyouup.”
NotwantingAugusttogetinanotherjab,Natalieturnedandstalkedoutthedoor,sidesteppingthecat,who’dapparentlywitnessedthewholeconversationanddidn’tappeartobetheleastbitapologeticaboutassaultingher.She’dalmostreachedthepathleadingtotheroadwhenAugust’svoicerangoutfromacrossthefrontyard.
“It’snottoolate,Natalie,”hecalled,echoinghiswordsfromthecontestadayearlier.
SheturnedtofindAugustinthedoorwayofhishouse,forearmsbracedonthetopoftheframe,expressioncocky,aswathofstomachmusclesondisplay,bicepspoppingright,thenleft,thenright.Thenleftagain.Definitelynotturningheron.
“Bonehead,”shemutteredinthewakeofhislaughter.
Laughterthatdiedoutalmostasfastasitstarted.
Whydidherlegsfeelmoreandmorelikerubberasshehikedtothecar?
Leavingthisman’scompanyshouldmakeherfeelfreeasabird.
Itdid.
Right.
Withahardswallow,sheslidthekeysintotheignition.Andafteralongpausewhereinthemostinsaneideaoccurredtoher,shestartedthecarwithasnortanddroveaway.
***
Laterthatnight,Natalieleftthehousewithoutreallyknowingwhy.
Shewasn’tthetypetotakeaneveningstroll.
BackinNewYork,hermodusoperandihadbeentoworkhardalldayandcollapseonthecouchwithaglassofwineattheendofit.Tonight,however,shehadanunexplainedcaseofjitters.HallieandJulianwereoutonadoubledatewithHallie’sfriendsJeromeandLavinia,meaningshehadtheentireguesthousetoherself.SheshouldbeorderinganobsceneamountoftakeoutandwatchingBelowDeckreruns,butinsteadshefoundherselfwalkingstraightoutthefrontdoorintothefragranteveninginthedirectionofdowntownSt.Helena.
Maybeshewasinthemoodforsomeatmosphere.People.
Amoodlift.
Uponreturninghomeafewmonthsago,she’dgoneonseveraldates,hopingtofindthatperfectreboundtooccupyherwhileshewallowedinNapa.Butshortlythereafter,datinghadtotallylostitsappealandsherefusedtoexaminewhy.Refused.She’dswipedleftsomanytimeswithoutagoodreasonthatshe’dgottendisgustedanddeletedTinderaltogether.Man,herphonewasasilent,desolateplacethesedays.Sheshouldjustuseitasapaperweightoradoorstop.
ThelightsofGrapevineWaybeckonedasshewalkedalongthedirtpath,livejazzmusicfromoneofthemanycaféswindingtowardheronthebreeze.Augustwasrighttoquestionwhyshepreferredthecityoverthislushvalleyofgrapesandsunshineandmerriment.PeoplecamefromallovertoexperiencetheexquisiteblissofSt.Helena.ButasNataliesteppedontoGrapevineWayandhookedaright,stillwithnoideaofherdestination,shecouldn’tmusteranyaffectionforthetown.Itwasbeautiful,classy,inviting.Ajewelatthefootofthemountain.
Buttoher,itwouldalwaysbetheplaceshewasn’twanted.
Nataliestoppedatthewindowofaconfectionshopthathadbeentheresinceshewasachild.Ithadalreadyclosedfortheday,butasshepeeredinthroughthedarkenedglass,sherememberedoneofthetimessheandJulianhadbeenbroughtthereaschildren.
Juliancouldn’twalkthroughtheshopwithoutaclassmateflaggingherolderbrotherdown,askinghimtocomesitattheirtable.Eventhoughthefuturehistoryprofessorspokeonlyinbreadcrumbs,thosemonosyllableswereeitherfunnyorthoughtprovoking.And,moreimportantly,neverunkind.Asatrackstarandacademicwonder,he’dbeennothingshortofrevered.Popularityhadcomeeasily—anduninvited—toJulian.
ButNataliecouldalsoseeherselfthroughtheglass,workingovertimetobenoticedbyanyone.Herparents,herclassmates,thecoolteenagersbehindthecounter.Forsomereason,thesamewealththataddedtoJulian’spopularityseemedtoreflectnegativelyonher.Shewasn’tagiftedgenius.Shewasanaveragestudent.Didn’thavealotofathleticability.Allthatmoneyatherdisposalandshe’dprobablyjustcoastherwholelife,thankstobeingaVos
AroundthetimeNatalierealizedeveryonethoughtofherassomeonewho’dmerelywonthelastnamelottery,she’dstartedactingout.Playingpranksonherfriends.Alwaysacceptingthedare.Andwhenshegotolder,she’dbeentheonetosupplytheboozeandthrowtheragingpartiesthatgoteveryoneintrouble.Itjustseemedtobetheonlywayanyonenoticedoracknowledgedher.Ifshewasloud.Ifshewascrazy.Softlyapproachingherparentsforaffectionneverworked.TheywereeitherbusyortheirmeageramountoffreeparenttimehadtobespentonJulian,whoachievedhonorsandmedalsandscholarships.
Shesteppedbackfromtheglassandkeptwalking,atafasterclipthistime.Shewasn’tthatattention-starvedkidanymore.Afteranembarrassingstayinrehabafterhighschool,she’dacceptedhermother’shelpgettingintoCornell.Butshe’dgraduatedatthetopofherclassonherownmerit.She’dmadepartnerwithoutanyinterventionfromherparents.She’dproventoherselfthatshewascapableanddriven.
BeingbackinSt.Helena,however—andflatonherface—shecouldsensethatolditchunderherskin.Tocomebackbiggerandbetterandlouder.Todosomethingthatwouldgetherthepositivereinforcementshe’dalwayscravedbutcouldneverseemtoearn.Thatwaswhatthisfirmwouldbeforher.Awaybacktothetop.Awaytorespectherselfagain.
AfamiliarvoicereachedNatalie’searsthenandshestoppedinthemiddleofthesidewalk,agroupoftipsytouristswindingaroundherintheirmulesandsummerscarves.Upahead,parkedatthecurb,wasAugust.Asshewatched,heunloadedboxesofwineintothetrunkofheroldclassmate—andmotheroftriplets—TeriFrasier.
“Areyousureaboutthis?”Terilaughed,visiblyoverwhelmed.“Couldn’tyousellit,insteadofgivingitawayforfree?”
“We’vebeenoverthis,Teri.Icouldn’tevengivethiswineawaytoamandyingofthirstinthedesert.It’sallyours.”Hegesturedtothebackofhercarwhere,Natalieassumed,Teri’stripletsweresittingintheircarseats.“Besides,Ithinkyoudeserveitmorethananyone.”
“Letmegiveyousomesoap,atleast.”
“Nah,thanks,butyoukeepit.I’vegotenoughofasupplytoholdmeoverforayear.”Hepattedherontheshoulderandsteppedback.“YoutellyourhusbandIsaidhello,allright?”
“Willdo.”
Natalie’spulsewasjustaboutjumpingoutofherskin.Thiswasit.Reallyit.
Clearly,AugustwasonhiswayoutofSt.Helena.Givingawayhisfinalsupplyofwine,asifithadnovalue.Anditdidn’t.Tobeclear.Itwaslikedrinkinggasolinethathadbeenmarinatingwithdogshitforaweek.Buthearinghimacknowledgeitinsuchaself-deprecatingwaymadeherstomachdrop.
Herfingertipsstartedtobuzz,thewaytheydidbeforeaheftytrade.
OhGod,shecouldalmosthearthebadideacomingtowardheronaconveyorbeltofdoom.Justbumpingalong,gettingcloserandcloserevenasshetriedtotalkherselfoutofacknowledgingthepossibilityof…helpingAugustandherselfintheprocess.Sheshouldlethimdriveoutoftown,nevertodarkenthedoorwayofSt.Helenaeveragain.Theywereoilandwater.Hehadachiponhisbuffalo-sizedshoulderaboutherstatusandprivilegeinthistownthathewouldnevershed.AndNatalie
Well,offeringtohelpthismanandbeingrejectedwasjustaboutthescariestthingshecouldimagine.Allherlife,she’dofferedherselfasafriend,afiancée,acoworker,asister,andadaughter,andatsomepointherpresence—andevenlove—wasrejected.Shewasrejected.Fired,dumped,askedtogohome.Still,shedidn’tevenlikethisman.Sowhywasherheartbeatingatthepaceofahummingbird’swingsatthethoughtofhimsayingno?
Whydidshecaresomuch?
Don’tdoit.
Notworththesting.
NataliestartedtobackupintotheshadowstowaitoutAugust’sdeparture,butinthewakeofTeridrivingaway,heroundedthebackbumperofhistruckandspiedher,doingadoubletake.“Natalie?”Hepausedmid-stride,frowning.“Whatareyoudoinglurkingoverthereinthedark?”Hesnappedhisfingers.“Letmeguess.SuckingthesoulsfromchildrencaughtoutdoorsaftereightP.M.?”
“That’sright.Iwaituntilthey’vebeenstuffedfullofchickenfingersandicecreamallday.That’swhenIstrike.”Sheshrugged.“ButyouhavetheIQofachild,soIguessyou’lldo.”
“Yousuckedthesouloutofmemonthsago,princess.”
“YoumusthaveretainedsomeofitifyoumadeapointtogiveTeriyourwinesupplyonthewayoutoftown.”Herearedbackalittleattherare—andaccidental—compliment.“Imean…abrokenclockiscorrecttwiceaday,right?”
Hewasstillgivingherthatnarrow-eyedlook.
Nervesjumpedinherbelly.
Turnaroundandgo.
Shesaunteredforwardinsteadandwatchedhischestmusclestighten,hisspinestraighten.Didhedothateverytimesheapproached?Whywassheonlyrecognizingitnow?ThatproofofhisawarenesspushedNatalieovertheborderintobad-ideatown.Becauseatleastshewasn’tanafterthoughttohim.Evenifhecouldn’tstandher,atleastherpresencehadaneffectonhim.“SoIwasthinking…”
“Youwishyou’dkissedmeinthebathroomearlier.”
“I’dsoonerkissanactivelawnmower.”Sherealizedherhandsweregesticulatingwildlyandfoldedthematherwaist.“Actually,Iwasthinkingyoucouldusemyhelp.”
Hesnorted.Leanedbackagainstthetruckandcrossedhisthickarms.“Whatnow?”
Nataliekeptherfeaturesserene,evenastheharbingerofrejectionhungoverherheadlikeafreshlysharpenedmachete.“Youmentionedthebankrefusingyouasmallbusinessloan.ForZelnickCellar.Butif,um…”Allatonce,theludicrousnatureofheridearegistered,butshe’dsaidtoomuchtostopnow.“IfIwasanofficialemployee.Andattachedto…you…insomeway,well,youwouldalmostbeguaranteedanapproval.Asyou’vepointedoutonnumerousoccasions,mylastnamedoescarryalotofweightinthisindustry.”
Forseveralmoments,hestaredatherinsilence.“I’mwaitingforthepunchline.”
“Thereisnopunchline,youbaboon.I’msuggesting…”Shefeltlikeshe’dswallowedafistfulofdirt,herstomachbeginningtochurn.“I’msuggestingthat—”
“Holyshit.”Augustpushedoffthetruck,hisarmsdroppingslowlytohissides.“Earlier.YoutoldmeMommyandDaddywouldn’treleaseyourtrustfundunlessyou’remarried.”Hismouthopenedandclosed.Ahandrakedthroughhishair.“You’renotsuggesting…”Somethingshecouldn’tquitedefineflickeredinhiseyes.“You’renotsuggestingwegetmarried,areyou?”
Thewayhesaidit,likeshe’dproposedastrollthroughaminefield,hadNataliebackingupapace.Amarriagebetweenthemwouldbeaminefield.Eventhoughtheywouldbe…
“Fakemarried,”sheenunciated.“Forfinancialpurposes.Obviouslythiswouldn’tbearomanticunion.WewouldsimplyneedtoconvinceIngramMeyer,themanwhohastheabilitytosolvebothofourproblems.Wewouldjustbeinitforthemonetaryadvantages.”
Hisjawwasslackatthispoint.
Thesilencestretched,soshefilleditoutofnerves.
“Thewinetraineventistomorrowafternoon.Itsinauguralrideaftertheinteriorwasredesigned.We’recuttingtheribbon—”
“See,it’sshitlikethat—winetrainsandribboncuttingandredesignedinteriorsbeingabig-assdealthathadmelookingforwardtoseeingthebackofthistown.”
“You’vemadeitclearthatwinecultureistrivialtoyou,August.Also,thewayittastes.Lestweforget.”Shecrossedherself.“Anyway.Ifyouareinterestedinmyoffer,wecould…”Hercouragewasbeginningtowaneinthefaceofhisvisibleastonishment.“Wecouldmeetwithmyfamilyinaneutralsettinganddiscusshowtoproceed.”
“You’reactuallyserious,”hemusedwithaslow,incredulousheadshake.“Youjustproposedtome,Natalie?”
Speakingofsoulsbeingsuckedout,hersexitedherbodyinthatmomentandobservedthescenefromabove.Thereshewas,askingthismanshehatedtobeherhusband.“Desperate”wastheonlywordshecouldusetodescribeherself.Outofoptions,withnowheretoturn.Andthismanhadtobeenjoyingeverysinglesecondofit.Anymomentnow,hewouldtellhershewasevencrazierthanhe’doriginallythoughtandhe’dburnrubbertoescapeher.
Thepossibilityofthatpresseddownonherchest.
God,shewaswearyofbeingdismissed.Shecouldn’tletithappenagain,especiallyfromAugust.ItwouldcutespeciallydeepfromthisNeanderthal.Givinghimleverageoverherburnedlikeacattlebrandtothethroat.
“Forgetit,”shemanagedtopushpastdrylips.“Idon’twanttobemarriedtosomeonewhodoesn’tknowtoseizeagoodopportunity.”
Laughterburstoutofhim.“Marryingyouisagoodopportunity?”
Natalieturnedandstalkedaway,ignoringthetwistinherbreast.
Anarmwrappedaroundherwaistbeforeshemadeitthreesteps.
“Don’tgetpissed,”hesaidafewinchesaboveherhead.“Ionlymeantyou’dskinmealiveinmysleep.”
“Wewouldn’tsleeptogether,dingdong.Itwouldbeinnameonly.”
“Ifailtoseetheadvantageforme.”
Natalieresistedtheurgetorelaxbackagainsthischest.Hewassowarm.Andthatstupid,tatted-uparmcouldprobablyliftastationwagon.Whywasn’tshepullingaway?Anysecondnow.Shewould.Facingtheoppositedirectionwasjust…easier.Shecouldn’tseehisscornanddisbeliefthisway.“Letmelayitoutforyou,August.Wehavethesamemanstandinginthewayofoursuccess—IngramMeyer.Loanofficeratthebank,trusteeofmymoney,andoneofmyfather’smanyfanboys.IfI’mmarried,he’llreleasemystart-upcapitalfromhisclutches.Asforyou?MarryingandemployingaVoswillhelpyousecureasmallbusinessloan.”Shethrewanabsentgestureinthegeneraldirectionofhisvineyard.“Youcouldcontinuemakingwine.Maybeevenwinepeoplecanstandtoswallow,withmyhelp.Don’tyouwantthewinerytobeasuccess?”
“Idid.”Herbrowsdrewtogetheroverthegruffnoteinhisvoice.“Idid.ButIresignedmyselftothefactthatthisistheonethingI’mterribleat.”
“You’reforgettingbasichumanhygiene.”
“Imustnotsmellthatbad,”hesaidagainstthesideofherneck,hislipsbrushingthatsensitivepatchbeneathherear,warmbreathcoastingdownthecollarofhershirt—andthatarm.Itflexedwhereitbandedacrossherbelly,makinghiddenpartsofhertense,too,intheprocess.“Youknow.Sinceyou’remeltingonmelikeanM&Monthedashboardofahotcar.”
Natalietwistedoutofhisholdlikeashot,orderingherskintocooldownassheturned.Itwouldn’t.Washischestrisingandfallingfasterthanbefore?“Look,ifyouwanttoleaveSt.Helena,I’mnotgoingtostopyou.”
Alinesnappedinhischeek.“Thatwastheplan.”
“Planscanchange.”
Asoundlefthim.“Youmustreallywantthattrustfund.”
“Iwantanewstart.”Momentarily,sheletherselfbevulnerable.MaybebecauseshewasalreadyhalfwaythereaftermakingtheproposaltoAugust.Ormaybeshe’dalreadybeensawedopenafterhumblingherselfthismorningtoCorinne.Whateverthereason,shespokewithoutcensure.“Ineedanewstart.Ican’tjuststayhere,livingintheshadowofmyfamily.Mybrother.Imightaswellstillbethatseventeen-year-oldscrewupthateveryonejust…tolerates.I’mbetterelsewhere.I’msomething.I’msomeonewhenI’mnothere.”
Thesoundofhishardswallowreachedherthroughthecoolnightair.
Damn.Toomuch.
She’dgivenhimthemotherloadofammunition—andsincehewasobviouslynotintotheidea,sheneededtogetoutoftherebeforehecoulduseit.
“Goodluck,August,”shesaid,backingawayandeventuallyturning,pickingupherpace.“Itwouldhavebeenfunmakingyourlifehell.”
“Natalie.”
Shedidn’tstop.Didn’twantthisman,ofallpeople,toletherdowngently.Herpridewasallbutdismantled,butshecouldholdontoascrap.Speedwalkingdownthepathwaybacktotheguesthouse,however,shewonderedhowmuchlongershecouldmaintainhergrip.
ChapterFive
Augustadjustedhistieintherearviewmirrorofhistruck,grimacingatthesoundofamarchingbandbutchering“AmericatheBeautiful.”Acrossthestreet,theparkinglotofthetrainstationhadbeentransformedbytwohigh-ceilingedtents,royalbluecarpetlaiddownovertheasphalt.Waitersintuxedoscarriedaroundtraysholdingglassesofredwine,othersferriedhorsd’oeuvresamongguestsdressedtothenines.
Unbelievable.Allofthesepeoplehadgatheredtocelebrateatrainthatservedwine.Technically,anytrainintheworldcouldservewine,butthesesnootsinsuitslookedforanyexcusetorubelbowsintheirloafersandcommentontheorange-peelaftertasteoftheirdrink.He’dbeenlookingforwardtoneverhearingtheword“bouquet”everagaininhisfuckinglife,butherehewas.Abouttojointhisstuffed-shirtsoireeinhismonkeysuit.
Allbecauseofawoman.
Notjustanywoman,though.NatalieVos.
JesusChrist.Imustbeoutofmymind.
He’dbeenworryingaboutthestateofhissanitysincelastnight.She’dwalkedawayandhe’dgotteninhistruckwithoutstartingtheengine.Andthenhe’dsatthereforanhour.Two.Withacursethatwasvileevenbynavystandards,he’dstartedthetruckandgonebacktothevineyardhe’dneverexpectedtolayeyesonagain.He’dplannedtoconductthesalewitharealestateagentvirtuallywhilehespentsometimebackinKansasnearhisparentsandregrouped.
He’dmadehispeacewiththefactthathe’dnevermakewinedecentenoughtohonorthememoryofSam.He’dbeengoodwiththetruth—thathe’dgiventhistownhisbestdamnshotandgrapessimplyweren’thisareaofexpertise.Alleffortstobesuccessfulwereexhausted.He’dleftnothingonthebattlefield.
Untillastnight,whenNatalieslidanewopportunityacrossthetable.
Now?Augustcouldnolongerwalkawaysecureintheknowledgethathe’ddoneeverythinginhispowertobringSam’sdreamtolife.Therewasonemoretryavailable—sohehadtotakeitorguiltandlooseendswouldhaunthimfortherestofhislife.
Andthewoman.Shewouldhaunthim,too.
Natalieneededsomething—hertrustfund.Hecouldhelpgiveittoher.
Augustlikedtothinkhewouldhelpanywomanwhowasupagainstsomeancientbullshitcontractdesignedtoforceherintomarriage,butdeepdownheknewitwasjustthisone.Natalie.Damnittohell,whatwasitabouther?Everytimetheyweretogether,aneedleseweditselfinandoutofhisgut.Hispalmssweat.Hisdickpleadedwithhimtobenicersoitmighthaveachanceofseeingthelightofdayatsomepoint.Or,betteryet,thedarkofherbedroom.Theyfoughtliketheyhatedeachother,butsomehow,Lord,he’dbeenreadytodroptohiskneesinfrontofheronthatsidewalklastnight.
I’mbetterelsewhere.I’msomething.I’msomeonewhenI’mnothere.
Aftertheshockofhearingthatbreathyconfessionhadwornoff,he’djustgottenmad
Whothefuckmadeherfeellikethat?
Howlonghadshebeenfeelinglikecrapwithouthisknowingaboutit?
Thatsecondconcernhappenedtoberidiculous,bytheway.Therewereprobablyendlessthingshedidn’tknowaboutNatalieVos.Theirrelationshipdidn’texactlylenditselftoalotofquietheart-to-heartsinfrontofafire.Still,heshouldhaveknownaboutherinsecurity.Thatshewasbetteroffgone.Heshouldhavepickeduponit.Heshouldhaveshuthisstupidmouthandpaidbetterattention.
Asshe’dmadeabundantlyclear,itwastoolateforAugusttoromanceherinanyway.Attractionmightbeanundeniablecracklebetweenthem,butshewouldn’ttouchhimwithindustrialrubbergloves,letaloneherbarehands.Still,hecouldn’twalkawayfromNatalieifsheneededhim.Notwhenshe’dsuckeditupandaskedforassistancewhenitclearlyhadbeenverydifficulttosetasideherpride.No,he’ddwellonitforever.
Sohecrossedthestupidstreetinhishot,restrictivesuitwithhismolarsgrindingtogether,scanningthecrowdfortheblack-hairedgoddesshewouldnevergettosleepwithbutwouldapparentlybemarrying,becausehe’dlosthisfuckingmind.Itwassohotunderthetentthatheimmediatelystartedtosweat.Whydidthesepeopleinsistongatheringtocelebratefermentedgrapejuice?Hadnoneofthemheardofbaseball?Nowthatwasareasontogatheroutsideinthesun—
Natalie.
Upahead.
Hot.Damn.Asusual,whenAugustlaideyesonthewoman,hehadtosqueezehisthumbshardinthepalmsofhishands.Shehadtheseincrediblysmarteyesandasoftmouth.He’dneverfelttheneedtocategorizeanotherwoman’sfeaturesbefore.Hesortofstoppedatregisteringthecolorofsomeone’seyesandhair.Brown.Blue.Blond.Green.
Easy.
TherewasnothingeasyaboutlookingatNatalie.Allsortsofshitwashappeningonherfeaturesatonceandforsomereason,hewantedtokeepupwithallofit.Sometimesshemightlookbored,butshe’drubherlipstogetheroverandover,lettinghimknowshewasactuallyanxiousandhidingit.Othertimes,twolittlelinesformedbetweenhereyebrowslikeshemightbeconcernedaboutsomething,butshe’dhoistherchinupintheairlikeshedidn’thaveacareintheworld.Bottomline,Nataliewasn’tasimplecombinationofcolors,shewasanever-changingkaleidoscopehecouldn’tseemtostoppeeringinto.
Althoughtodaythecolorpurplewasfrontandcenter,becauseinaseaofmutedcolors,hershortlilacdressstoodout.Cuthigharoundherthroatwithalowbackandasoft,flutteryskirt.Thoselong,lithelegshadhisAdam’sapplebobbingupanddownagainstthestarchedcollarofhisshirt.Hecouldseethemalltangledupinhissheets.Couldseethembending,locking,beingpressedopenontothemattressbyhishands.
Thoseimageswouldneverbecomeareality,andyethe’dlovesomeonetotrytostophimfromfakemarryingthiskaleidoscopicwoman.
Onhiswayacrossthetent,hefinallynoticedNataliewasstandingwithhermother,herbrother,Julian,andtheblondewhomAugustassumedwasJulian’sgirlfriend.Theywerespeakinginlowtonesoverglassesofwine,seeminglyunawarethat,asthelegendaryVosfamily,theywereofinteresttoeveryguestinthetent.Classy,sophisticated.Aquietdynastythathadperhapsseenbetterdaysbutremainedlegendary.
Maybeitwouldbefuntomessthatimageupforawhile.
Funornot,thiswashappening.
BecauseifNataliewasdesperateenoughtoaskAugusttomarryher,thenshewouldeventuallyfindsomeoneelse—andtheveryideaofthatmadehisheadwanttoexplode.Maybethatuglythoughtbubblewaswhatspurredhimintoactingrash.She’dsuggestedtheyhaveacivilizedconversationabouttheirpotentialmarriagewhileinneutralterritory,right?Unfortunately,therewasnothingcivilizedaboutAugustanditwasgoingtobefunremindingher.Catchingheroffguard.
WhenAugustwasapproximatelytenyardsaway,Natalie’swineglasspausedhalfwaytohermouth,herattentionswivelinginhisdirection.Sheblinkedbacksurpriseandshiftedinherwhitehighheels,startedtosipherwine,stopped,thenglaredathim.Hewouldhavelaughedifhewasn’tabouttofinally,finallykissheragain.
“Hey,babe.SorryI’mlate,”Augustsaidsmoothly,cuppinghercheekanddrawingherin,asthoughkissingherweresecondnature.Asifhe’dmadeapracticeofit,wheninreality,hersmoke-and-flowersscenthadhistonguesecondsfromrollingoutofhismouth.Helethimselffeelthedistinctpleasureofwatchinghergoldeneyeswideninshock—andthenhecouldn’tfeelanythingatallbutrelief.Yeah,relief.Therewashermouth.
Perfectasever.Touchinghis.Jolting,thensoftening.
ThankGod.
Hewasonlygoingtocatchheroffguardalittle,needleher,maybeevenpunishherfordoubtingthathe’dcomethrough—butsheinhaledquicklyagainsthislipsandhewatchedupcloseashereyelashesflutteredandadumbfoundingone-twopunchoflustandsatisfactioncaughthiminthestomach.Theireyesclosedsimultaneouslyandtheysankin,justforasecond,atwistingfeastoflipsandaroughexhalethatsaidthisisfarfromenough.Butherewasn’ttheplaceformore,soheintertwinedtheirfingers,winkingatherwhennooneelsecouldsee—anddidhisdamnedesttorememberthiswasn’treal.Itwasjustoneenemyhelpingoutanother.
Yeah.
“I…um.”Natalieshookherself,brieflyshotaglancetohermother,whoseeyebrowswerenearlyburiedinherhairline.“August.I-Ithoughtyousaidyoucouldn’tmakeit.”
“August?Soformal.”Hegaveheraplayfulnudgeinthehip.“Whathappenedto‘myAdonis’?”
TempersnappedinNatalie’sexpression,butatleasttheirritationhelpedherfocus,whichhadbeenhisintention.“That’ssomethingIcallyouonlywhenwe’realone,”shesaidwithatoothysmile.“Youknow,kindoflike‘shitforbrains.’And‘ratking.’”
Augustlaughed.“Ilovehersenseofhumor,”hesaidtothegroup,absentlypluckingaglassofwineoffapassingtrayandtakingalongguzzle.Silencehaddescendedlikeaheavydrape,notonlyamongtheirfivesome,butacrossthetent.Untilnow,thisverysecond,Augusthadn’texactlyplannedonoutrightembarrassingNatalie.Itwassortofalast-minutespinonhisplan,bornofsexualfrustrationandthefactthatshetrulybelievedhewasasimpleton.HemightnothavealastnamethatpeoplewhisperedinreverenceonthestreetsofSt.Helena,buthewasn’tamoron.Holdinguphisendoftheirbattleofwitsseemedtobehisonlywayofmakingsuresheknewit.
Afullfifteensecondshadtickedpastandstillnoonehadcommentedonhisarrival.
“IthinkIspeakforthegroupwhenIsay…”thedumbstruckblonde—Hallie,wasit?—finallyventuredinastagewhisper.“H’whaaaaishappeninghere?”
Augustfeignedsurprise,shakingstiff-shoulderedNataliealittle.“Youdidn’ttellthem,hon?”Hedrainedtheremainderofhiswine,handingitofftoamanwhoonlylookedconfusedbytheemptyglass.Oops,notawaiter.“NatalieandIhavebeenseeingeachotherforawhilenow.JustlikeafineCabernet,wewantedtogiveourselvesroomtobreathe,sowe’vekeptitquiet,butIwasundertheimpressionweweresteppingoutintotheopentoday.”HesmileddownatNatalie,whowasveryclearlythreesecondsfromrippinghisthroatoutwithherteeth.“Yousaidyoudidn’twanttohideanymore.Yousaid,‘Let’sshoutitfromtherooftops,myAdonis.’”
Asoundhalfwaybetweenalaughandgrowlburstoutofher.“Idon’tthinkIusedthoseexactwords—”
“Nope,that’swhatyousaid.Verbatim.”
“Imusthavebeensleeptalking.”GoldeneyescrackledupatAugustandhellifthattemperwasn’tturninghimon.“Peopleareknowntotalkintheirsleep,”shecontinued.“Inrarecases,peopleareevenknowntomurderlovedonesintheirsleep.Didyouknowthat?Youmightwanttokeepitinmind.”
Augustdroppedhisheadbackandlaughed.“There’sthatsenseofhumoragain.OneofthemillionreasonsIcan’twaittocallyoumywife.”
Youcouldhearapindropinthetent.
“Whatwasthat?”Corinneinquiredinasmoothwhisper,thoughhercolorhadlightenedbyseveralshades.“Didhesay‘wife’?”
“That’sdefinitelywhatIheard,”Julianresponded,thosestudiouseyestravelingbetweenhissisterandAugust.“Whataboutyou,Hallie?”
“Don’tdragmeintothis.”Then,outofthecornerofhermouth,“Butifthatiswhatyousaid,there’safamilydiscountonfloralweddingarrangements.”
Apartfromthebrief,appreciativesmileJuliansenthisgirlfriend,thetensioninthetentremainedthickerthanaporterhousesteak.Allright,Augusthadgonetoofar.He’dbeenhavinghisfunwithNatalie,butnowhertemperhadfadedintosomethingclosetoregretandpanic.
ThankGodhe’drunthaterrandlastnight.
Struckwithpanic-inducedamnesia,hestartedslappingathispockets,tryingtolocatetheringbox—
CorinnedistractedhimbysteppingbetweenhimandNatalie,herfingersdiggingintobothoftheirforearms.“Listentomeverycarefully.You’vejustsetsomethingverydelicateinmotion.Doyouunderstand?”ShedrilledAugustwithalook.“Youobviouslythinkthisissomesidesplittingjoke,butashammarriagecoulddolastingdamagetoourfamilyname.”HerattentiontransferredtoNatalie,sharpeningsomuchthatAugustalmostdraggedNataliebehindhisbacktoshieldher.Wouldhave,ifhedidn’tsuspectthematriarchhadsomethingimportanttosay.Somethingheneededtohear.“IngramMeyerisinattendancetoday.Heisalwaysinattendance.Ateverything.HehaseyesandearsalloverSt.Helenaandtakeshisresponsibilitiesatthebankveryseriously.Ifhesuspectsthisrelationshipisallforshow,hewilldenythereleaseofyourtrustfundfasterthanyoumadethisidioticplan,Natalie.”
Pulserippling,Augustdidaquickscanofthecrowd,andsureenough,therewastheloanofficerfromthebank—tall,slender,andpastyinastrawhat.ThisguyhadbarelyglancedatAugust’sapplicationbeforedismissinghimcompletely.ThesamemanwhoheldNatalie’sfateinhisgrip.
“Eitherdroptheactnow,”Corinnecontinuedinalowhiss,“orunderstandthatthisneedstobeaseriousendeavor.You’renotjustconvincingthebank,you’reconvincingthewholetownofSt.Helenabecauseit’sallonegiant,plugged-inpipeline.You’llneedtosharearesidence,beseentogetherinpublic.Haveaproperwedding.Ifthat’sthedirectionofyourchoosing,thenactaccordingly.Now.Beforeyoutwomakethisfamilyouttobenothingmorethanabunchofcheapconartists.”
Wasittoolatetoleaveandtryhisentranceagain?
Natalie’sfeatureswerecarefullyschooled,asusual,butthebloodhaddrainedfromherface—andAugustloathedhimselfforcausingthatreaction.
Whydoyoudothingslikethis?
Notimetoexplorethemysteriesofhisuniversenow,becausehehadafeelingNataliewassecondsfrombackingout.Droppingtheact.Ofcourseshewas.Whowouldtrusthimwithsomethingsodelicateafterhe’denteredlikeabullwalkingintoachinashop?
Hecouldnotletthischanceslipaway.Hisdick/guttoldhimhe’dregretitforever.
Asfastashumanlypossible,Augustdrewtheringboxoutofhispantspocketandgotdownononeknee.
NatalieswayedbackwardalittleandAugust’sfreehandshotoutautomaticallytosteadyher.Shelookeddownathimwithoutbreathing,hergazetrippingbetweenhimandtheringbox,then…justonhim.Foramoment,therewasnooneelseinthetent.Onlythem.Andhewasslightlyalarmedbytheroughgrindinhischest,evenashewassecretlygratefulfortheriseofnerves.Shedeservedtohaveanervousmandownononeknee,didn’tshe?
Hellyes,shedid.
“WhatImeanttosay,Natalie,is…Iwouldliketocallyoumywife.”Hethumbedopentheblackvelvetboxwithouttakinghisattentionoffher.Couldn’thaveprieditoffwithacrowbar.Jesus,wasthereevenachanceshe’dsayyesnow?Hisheartliftedandwedgeditselfbehindhisjugular.“I’maskingyoutospendtherestofyourlifetryingnottomurdermeinyoursleep.Please.”
Didthecornerofhermouthjump?
Hadhesalvagedthis?
Timestoodstillwhileshepeereddownatthering,thoselinespoppingintoexistencebetweenherbrows.Consideringtheproposal?Jesus,comeon,Natalie.Sweatwasbeginningtodribbledownhisspine.He’dbeenonlife-and-deathmissionslessstressfulthanthis.
Finally,shewetherlipsandheldoutherlefthand,whispering,“Nopromisesaboutthemurderthing.”
August’sheartdroppedbackintoplaceandhishearingturnednormalagain.Whenhaditgrownsodistorted?Noamountofmentalorderscouldkeephisfingersfromshakingashetookoutthesmalldiamondringandslippeditontoherfinger.Notreal,heremindedhimselfagainafterstanding,lookingdownintoherstunnedface.InstincthadAugustpullingNatalieupagainsthischest,surprisecrashingintohimwhenshewrappedherarmsaroundhimandheldontight.
Peoplewereapplauding.EvenNatalie’sfamily.Whendidthatstart?
Well.EveryonebutIngramMeyerwasclapping.
Themanregardedthemthroughnarrowedeyesovertherimofhiswineglass.
Dobetterforher.
“Thanks,”shewhisperedintohisshoulder.“Youjusthadtoactlikeamegaasshole,didn’tyou?ButIguess…thanks.”
“Canwenegotiatemyconjugalrightsnow?”
Great.Waytodobetter.Hisdicktrulyruinedeverything.
“Nope,”Nataliesaid.
“Worthashot.”
Shesmiledupathimsweetly.“I’llgiveyouashot.Rightinthejunk—”
Avoicefilledthetent,cuttingofftherestofhersentence,thoughAugustwasprettysurehe’dgottenthegistofherthreat.Nataliewiggledalittleandhedroppedhisarms,butshelethimholdherhandastheyturnedtofacethemannowspeakingintoamicrophonetowardthesunnyedgeofthetent.Heworeanold-timeybowlerhatandacarnationonhislapel,andAugust’seyesnearlyrolledoutofhishead.
“WelcometothegrandreopeningoftheNapaValleyWineTrain,establishedin1864.Wearepleasedtohaveyouaboardasourfirstpassengersinournew,elegantsetting.ManyofthevintagefixturesandtheHonduranwoodpanelingaretheverysame—”
Severalpeoplelosttheirmindsoverthis.
PeopleinSt.Helenagotflusteredattheveryutteranceoftheword“vintage.”
“…butthesefeatureshavebeenrestoredtoamoresophisticatedleveloftheiroldglory.”Themanwiththemicrophonecranedhisneckandsearchedthecrowd.WhydidheseemtobelookingdirectlyatAugustandNatalie?“Ihearwehaveanunexpectedproposalinthehouse?Well,letmetellyou,thehappycoupleisinluck.Thereisn’tamoreromanticsettingthanNapaattwilightaboardourluxurioustrainand”—hepausedforeffect—“thisistheperfecttimetoannouncetheadditionofourspecialhoneymoonseatingonthesecondlevel.Alittlecornerofglass-domedopulencealltothemselvescalledtheLovers’Nest.Wehaveourperfecttestsubjects,havewenot?”
“Oh…”Nataliecalledpolitely.“Wedon’tneedanyspecialtreatment—”
“We’lltakeit,”Augustsaid,cuttingherofftoasmatteringoflaughs.
Hesqueezedherhand.
Sheburiedhernailsinthemeatofhispalmuntilhechoked.
Someonesnappedapicture.
ChapterSix
Everyonefiledontothetrain,shufflingonebyoneupthecarpetedsteps.
Natalie’sneckburned.Forgoodreason,too.Corinnewatchedherlikeahawkfromseveralpassengersback,asdidherbrotherandHallie.IngramMeyerandhisTommyBahamahattookuptherearoftheline,makingnopretenseaboutbeingzeroedinonAugustandNatalie.Hisbrowslookedsoskeptical,they’dalmostreachedthecenterofhisforehead,andhewasobviouslyunconvincedthatNatalieandAugustwereahappilyengagedcouple.
Maybesuchafeatwasimpossible.
Maybethiswasallahugewasteoftime.
“Thisisinsane,”Nataliewhispered.“I’minsane.”
Augustleaneddown,bringingthemnearlyeyelevel.Don’tlookathismouth.Natalierefusedtothinkaboutthesweepofexhilarationshe’dfeltwhentheirlipslockedtogether.Herbody’sunwiseresponsetothismanneededtobethefurthestthingfromhermind.Pushedwayoutintotheether,becauseitdidn’tmatter.Thisplanwasmeanttobeabusinessarrangement—andalreadyitwasonshakyground.Mightnotevenbeviableatall.
“What’sinsane?”Augustprompted.
“This.Me.Askingforyourhelp.Youjustwanttomakeafooloutofme.”
Momentarily,hecasthisgazedownward.“I’lladmitIcameonalittlestrongbackthere.I’mjust…I’mnevercomfortableatthesethings.”
“Soyouhavetomakeeveryoneelseuncomfortabletocompensate?”
“Correct.”
“Atleastyou’reanhonestdickhead.”
“Theweddingvowspracticallywritethemselves,”hemuttered,rubbingatthebackofhisneckwithhisfreehand.“Look,it’soutofmysystemnow.I’lldobetter.”
Natalieclosedhereyes,acutelyawareofCorinnewatchingthemfromherpositioninline.OfcourseCorinnehadspottedthesubterfugerightaway.Evenifthetrustfundwasn’thanginginthebalance,givingNatalieabigfatmotiveforahastymarriage,neverinNatalie’slifehadshegottenawaywithalietohermother.Corinnewasahumanpolygraphtestthatshe’dbeentakingandfailingsincebirth.
That’snotmyweed,Mom.
Ourtestdeterminedthatwasalie.
Natalieattemptedasmallsmileathermotheroverhershoulderandwasgivenanimpassivelookinreturn.IngramMeyerwatchedthewholeexchangehappen,visiblytakingmentalnotesbehindshrewdeyes.Hereallydidseeeverything,didn’the?Whointhiscrowdandthetownbeyondcouldbeconsideredhiseyesandears?Anyoneatanytime?Fakingthisunionwasgoingtobealotmorecomplicatedthanshe’dimagined.“I’mprettysureit’stoolate,Adonis,”shemuttered,hergazestrayingbacktoIngram.“Ithinkwe’vebeenmade.”
Augustshookhishead.“We’llsalvageit.”
“Doubtful.Ihopeyoucangetyourmoneybackforthisring.”AlinepoppedinAugust’scheek.Hisgianthandwasbeginningtosweatinsideofhers.Washeworried?Obviously.Hewantedthatbankloanasmuchasshewantedhertrustfundreleased.
Theywerealmosttothehostessstationwhenoneofthepassengerssqueezedpastthemtowardtheexit,crowdingNatalieclosertoAugust’sbig,warmbody.Theairwasbeginningtocool,thankstotheapproachingsunset,andshe’daccidentallyleftherblacksilkjacketinthecar.Inotherwords,theheathegaveofffeltincredibleonhergoose-bumpedarms.Andwhenshedidn’timmediatelymoveaway,heangledtowardherslowlyandcorralledhercloserwithaforearmtoherlowerback.
“Youwantmyjacket?”hesaidgruffly,hisbreathstirringherhair.
Thatdreadedpulsestartedbeatingbetweenherthighs,hertoestwitchinginherheels.“Ohsure.Aftercatchingmeoffguard,embarrassingmeonpurpose,andproposingpubliclywithoutsomuchasadiscussion,nowyouwanttobechivalrous.”
“Howlongareyougoingtostaypissed,Natalie?”
“Itonlyhappenedtenminutesago!”shewhisperedfuriously.“Wecouldhavehadacivilconversationandarrangedeverythingproperly.Butno.Youhadtohavetheupperhand.”
“I’msorry.Allright?Isthatwhatyouwanttohear?BecauseIam.”Hejerkedhischintowardtheopeningofthetrain.“Youalmostsaidno.”
“Ishouldhavesaidno.”Natalieshookherhead.“Ishouldjustbitethebulletandaskmyfathertoamendtheterms.”
Hissturdyframestiffened,longmomentspassingwhilethosewordshunginthescantspaceoffadingdaylightbetweenthem.“Hey.”Hedroppedhismouthtoherear.“We’reinthis.Quittalkingaboutbackingout.I’mtakingthisseriouslynow.”
“Doyoureallythinkyou’llbeabletotakethisruseseriouslyforanextendedperiodoftime,though?Because,accordingtomymother,wehavetoshareanaddress,August.Forthemarriagetobeconsideredviableandforthepurposesoftheloan.Andallyouwanttodoismakemelookstupid.Idon’ttrustyou.”Herheartthunkednoticeably,droppinglowerandlowerbythemoment.“OhmyGod,whathaveIdone?”
Hesurprisedherbypressingtheirforeheadstogether.“Natalie.”
“What?”
Threesecondspassed.Four.“Iwillnever,everletyoudownagain.Isthatclear?”
Thestrangestthinghappenedinthewakeofthatunexpectedvow.Theclamminessofherskinsubsidedandherpulseslowlyreturnedtonormal.Shefoundherselfnodding,even,becausehowcouldshedoanythingelsewhenshe’dneverseenhimlooksoserious?Orheardthatthreadofhonorsodeeplywovenintohistone.ThiswasAugusttheNavySEAL
Still,shewasn’t100percentreadytotakethatleapintotrustinghim.Notaftereverything.Notwhentheyweresofreshfromthestunthe’dpulled.“We’llsee,Iguess.”
“Youwillsee,”hecounteredwithouttheslightesthesitation.“NowareyoucomingwithmetotheLovers’Nestornot?”
WhenhadAugustpulledhercloser?
Betterquestion.Whenhadshepusheduponhertiptoessoherarmscouldreacharoundhisneck?Shestartedtoretracthertouch,butheshookhishead.“IfIwereyourrealfiancé,”hesaidquietly,forherearsalone,“thisishowI’dholdyou.Allthetime.Sothisishowweshouldstay.”
“Right.”Thebigslabsofhispecswereinchesfromhermouthandshehadthestrangesturgetosinkherteethintothem.Maybeevenhadapremonitionthathewouldenjoyit.Therewillbenoneofthat.“Later,wecanh-haveanactualdiscussionandlaydownsomegroundrules.Comeupwithatimelineforourrespectivegoals.Butfirstandforemost,letmereiterate,thereisgoingtobeabsolutelyzerosex.Icannotstressthatenough.”
“Ithasbeenstressful,princess.Believeme.”Histhumbbrushedacrossherlowerspineandahotshiverwentthroughher,headtotoe.“Remindmeagainwhywecan’thavesex.”
Hisvoicecrackedontheword“sex,”rightthereagainstherear,andaswallowgotstuckinherthroat.“Thereasonshavechanged,obviously,withthisshinynewdevelopment.Linesthatneedtobeclearwill…blur…ifwegothere.Buttheunderlyinglogicisthesame.Ican’tletmyguarddownaroundyou.”
Thatbighandflexedonherback.“Doyoualwaysletyourguarddownduringsex?”
“Imean…Ihave.”Shedrewthewordsout,registeringheranswerevenasshespokeitoutloud.“Sortof.Letitdown.ButIdefinitelycan’tletitdownwithsomeonewhoisgleefulaboutpointingoutmyshortcomingsandpokingfunatmyinsecurities.That’sjustself-sabotage.”
Hefrowneddownather.“Whataboutthefactthatyoupokefunatmyinsecurities,too?Wouldn’titbeself-sabotageforme,aswell?”
“Youareaman.You’dbegettingsex.Youwouldn’tcare.”
“Validpoint.”Hiseyesnarrowedfurther.“Soyou’resayingyouwouldcare?”
“I’msayingI’dbeatmyselfupovergivinginwhileyousnoreditupontheothersideofthebed.”
“You’resosureyouwouldn’tbesnoringrighttherebesideme?”
“We’renotgoingtofindout.”
“I’minclinedtoagreetoanythingrightnowtomakeyouhappy,Natalie,butI’mnotagreeingtoanynosexrules.Sorry.We’regrownadultsandifwebothwantsomething,weshouldbeabletotakeitwithoutconsultingsomearbitraryrulebook.”Hischestroseandfellashepulledherincloser.“Ifyoudon’tdirectlyaskmeforsex,I’llrespectthat.Butifyouwanttobefucked,you’regoingtogetit.Period,theend.”
Ohdamn.Thatpulsewasbackandnowadampsensationhadbeenthrownin.
Shewasawareofeveryerogenouszonesheowned.Herhipblades,theinsidesofherankles,herneckandthroatandbreasts.
Thiseveningcouldnotendquicklyenough.
“Ah,heretheyare,”croonedaman’svoicebehindNatalie.Sheturnedtofindthegeneralmanagerofthewinetrainapproachingwithhishatsittingjauntilyonhishead.“Thenewlyengagedlovebirds.Followmethisway,please.”Finally,NatalieunhookedherarmsfromaroundAugust’sneckandtrailedafterthemanager,coolaironceagainmakingherarmsprickle.“I’lltakeyoutotheLovers’Nest.”
“Caw,”Augustchirpedinherear,soundinglikeadyingcrow.“Caw.”
Natalieelbowedhiminthestomach.
Hechuckled.
Anddroppedhisjacketaroundhershoulders.
Iwillnever,everletyoudownagain.Isthatclear?
Hiswordsbouncedaroundinherheadoverandoveragainontheirwayuptothesecondfloorofthetrain.Hecouldn’tpossiblymeanthat,couldhe?Noway.Justlullingherintoafalsesenseofsecurity.Still,hermindcontinuedtoreplaythatintensevow,theseriousnessofhistone.Almostlikehe’dbeentryingtoengravethosewordsonherbrain.Yethe’dleftsomethingunspoken,buriedbetweenthelines.
Butno.That’sridiculous.
Themanagerledthemtothefarthestcornerofthetrain’ssecondfloorandstoppedinfrontofahigh-backed,redvelvetswivelchair,thesidescurvedforultimateprivacy.Itcouldfacethetraincarorthewindow,dependingonhowitwasturned.Withasmileofpureanticipationonhisface,themanagerhitabuttonandasmallfireplacebloomedtolifebeneaththepicturewindowthatwoulddisplaytheirviewofNapa’srollinghillsonthetrainride.
But…
“Thereisonlyonechair,”Nataliepointedout.
“Oh,isthere?”Themanfeignedsurprise.“Surelyit’sbigenoughfortwo.Youwon’tknowunlessyoutry!”
“Haveyouseenthisman?”ShejerkedathumbinAugust’sdirection.“He’stheactualYeti.Heprobablywon’tevenbeabletofitintoitbyhimself.”
Themanlookedmomentarilythrown,butheralliedwithatipofhishat.“I’llleaveyoutoyourowndevices,”themanagersang,backingaway,clearlycommittedtothebeliefthathewasdoingthemafavor.AndevenNataliehadtoadmit…thesettingwasnothingshortofsickeninglyromantic.Thepink-goldsunsetburnishedthevelvetswivelchairinaglowandthefirecrackled.Abottleofwinesatopenonasidetablewithtwoglasses.HadherrelationshipwithAugustbeenreal,she’dbeobligatedtoovulate.
NatalieturnedtoAugustwiththeintentionofinforminghimtheywouldjustsitinacoupleoftheregularseats,likethehandfulofinauguralridepassengerswhowerenowmakingtheirwayuptothesecondfloor.Beforeshecouldopenhermouth,however,hedroppedintothedeepswivelchair,stretchedhislonglegsout,andpattedhisthigh.“Yourthroneawaits,princess.”
“Iamnotsitting…”Realizingtheotherpassengerswerewithinearshot,sheloweredhervoicetoawhisper.“Iamnotsittingonyourlapinthispublicpleasureden.Whatdotheyexpectustodohere?”
Augustconsideredthecurvedandextendedsidesoftheswivelchairthatwereobviouslymeanttoblockthemfromview.“Somegropingattheveryleast.”
Pleasetellmethatmynipplesaren’ttingling.“Gropemeandlivetoregretit.”
“Fine.”Hesighed,runningahanddownhistie.“Youcangropeme.”
“Youmispronounced‘strangle.’”
Hisansweringlaughfellsilentafteramomentandheleanedforward.“Natalie.”Hetuckedhistongueintohischeek.“We’renotconvincinganybody.”
AfamiliarlaughcamefromthedirectionofthestairsandNatalieglancedovertofindHallie’sblondcurlsamongthecrowdofnewcomerstothesecondfloor.Whichmeantherbrotherwouldn’tbefarbehind.HalliewasspeakingwiththeBritishwomanwhoownedthedonutshopintown,FudgeJudy,andifmemoryserved,shelovedtogossip.EveryonefromthemayortotheteenagersofSt.Helenafrequentedtheshop.Behindthemwereseveralotherbusinessownersandladieswholunch—alleagertogeteyesonthenewlyengagedcouple.Beingstandoffishwithhersupposedfiancéwouldbenoticedandcommentedon.Maybe,accordingtohermother,evenreportedbacktoIngramMeyer?
NatalielookeddownatAugust,whowasnowstaringintothefire.Backinthetent,she’dmadeasplit-seconddecision.Eitherjumpintothissubterfugewithbothfeetandformaconvincingunion…orcallitoffimmediately—andputherselfbackatsquareone.She’dlookeddownatAugustononeknee,hisexpressionearnestandhopefuland…she’dfeltsomethingunnamed,butpoignant,moveinsideofher,causinghertochoosetheformer.NatalieandAugustwerenowengagedintheeyesoftheSt.Helenaelite.
Thismarriageofconveniencehadbeenheridea.Augustarrivingoutofthebluelikeawreckingballhadcaughtheroffguardoutside,butrightnow?Ifshedidn’tswallowherpride,thisplanwasgoingtosinkthembothbeforeitevenstarted.
Infinance,hercredowasgobigorgohome
Obviouslyithadn’talwayspaidoff,consideringshe’dgonebigand…gottensenthome.
Doubtswerepilingupaboutthewisdomofthisarrangement.Butitwasthesolutiontoherproblem.Awayforward.Andifshedidn’tseizeitwithbothhands,thechancewouldpassherby.Throughthecrowd,shemetHallie’seyes.Sawherbrother’stallframemovingintoviewanditoccurredtoher,ifshebroughtshameonthefamilyname,allofJulian’shardworktorestorethewinerywouldgodownthedrain.
God,shecouldn’tdothat.Nochance.
Therewasnomoretimetowaffle.
Withadeepinhale,Nataliesetdownherclutchonthesidetable,hesitatedamoment,thenparkedherbacksideonAugust’sthigh.Obviouslyhe’dexpectedhertostandforthewholerideorsitsomewhereelse,becausehiseyebrowsshotup,thatbigpawgoingtothesmallofherbackautomatically,hisfingerssplayingonthebaseofherspine.
“Ishouldprobablyjustkeepmymouthshut,”hesaid,hisvoicelowerbyseveraloctaves,“soIdon’tsayanythingtofuckthisup.”
“Thatwouldbethesmartestthingyou’veeverdone.”
“Yeah,wow.EngagedfortwentyminutesandI’malreadyachangedman.”ShewatchedinthereflectionofthewindowasAugust’sattentionrandowntheslopeofherneck.Felthisheartaccelerateagainsthershoulder.“ButIcan’thelpbutpointout…”
“God,yourefusetogetoutofyourownway.”
“Thatmaybeyou’reafraidtokissme.”
Shepinnedhimwithalook,herpulsequickeningovertheirposition—facesnomorethanafewinchesapart,hishandbracedonherbackprotectively,fingertipscurlingslightlyasifhewantedtopullhercloser.Allthewayintohislap.Hisfive-o’clockshadow,whichhadn’tbeenvisibleuponhisarrival,wasbeginningtodarkenhisjawandhistiewasslightlycrooked.Aruggedsoldierforcedintoasuitandamarriage.Forher.Withher.
Theywereateamwhethershelikeditornot.Nataliehadafeelingthenextthingoutofhismouthwouldputherfirmlyintheornotcamp.
“WhyamIafraidtokissyou?Besidesyouroverallrepellency,Imean.”
Hegaveacockyshrug.“You’rescaredtoenjoyit.”
“DoyouactuallythinkI’mgoingtofallforthis?”shesputtered.
“Fallforwhat?It’sthetruth.Youcan’tstandmyass,butifwekissed,you’dforget.”
“Tohateyou?”Shescoffed.“Notlikely.”
Asiftocallherbluff,aloudwhistlewentoffandthetrainlurchedforward,sendingNataliecrashingintoAugust’schest,herbuttslidingneatlyintohislap,whereshewasgalledtofindthatitfitlikeaglove.Hehissedinabreath,hishandleavingherbackinordertogriptheedgeofthevelvetchair.“Look,mightaswellwarnyou,I’mgoingtogethard.”
“Seriously?”Hisflyswelledbeneathherbottomrapidly,turningherskinflush.Notexcited.Shewasnotexcited.Maybeifshekeptrepeatingthosewords,theywouldbecometrue.“Beenawhile?”
“Tenminutesortenyearscelibate,I’dstillbehardwiththatbuttinpositionforagoodtime,Natalie.But,yeah,sincewe’reonthesubject,it’sbeenawhile.You?”
Shecouldn’tquitehidehersurprisethathe’dadmittedadryspelloutloud.Surprisedenoughtospeakherowntruthwithoutthinking.“Yes.Youweresupposedtobemyrebound.”
“Reboundfromwhat?”heaskedsharply,hischestmuscleshardeningagainsther.
That’sright.Hedidn’tknow.Ofcoursehedidn’t.Whywouldhe?“Iwasengaged.”Shestrovetokeephertonelight.“InNewYork.NowI’mnot.”
Ittookseveralmomentsforhimtoprocessthat,averitablecanyonformingbetweenhiseyebrows.“Why?”
“Idon’twanttotalkaboutit,okay?Notrightnow.”
Thoselongfingersflexedonherback.“Ishestillinthepicture?”
“No.”Forsomereason,shefeltcompelledtolookhimintheeyeandimpressheransweronhim.“No.YouandIjustgotengaged,August.Obviouslyhe’snot.”
Reliefseemedtomakehispupilsexpand.“Good.”
“Good?”
Severalsecondstickedbywhereinshefoundherselfstudyingtheindentinthecenterofhisbottomlip.Thestubbleappearingjustoverthefirmertopone.Andwhywastheresomething…annoyinglysexyaboutherfeetnottouchingthegroundwhilesittinginhislap?“That’swhatIsaid.Good,”herepeated,somethingflickeringinhiseyes.“Wouldn’twanttohavetofendoffanycompetitionformyfakefiancée,right?”
“Right.”Thattinysinkofdisappointmentshefeltwasincrediblyunhealthy.“Well,youdon’thavetoworryaboutthat.”
Amusclesnappedinhischeek.“Good.”
“Stopsaying‘good.’”
“Great.”Tensioncoiledbetweenthemlikeacopperspringandshecouldn’tquiteplaceafingeronthesource.Arousal—his,nothers—wastheobviousanswer,butthereseemedtobesomethingmore.Shewasbeingchallengedinsomeway,though,thatmuchwasobvious.Augusthadleanedin,bringinghismouthwithinaninchofhers.Theywerecompletelyshieldedfromtherestofthetraincar.Napadancedbyinallitsrich,sunset-drenchedsplendor,vineyardvinesthreadingtowardrollinghillsandfadingsunlight,butshewasbarelyawareofanyofit.Onlythisman’sbreathonhermouthandhisstrengthsurroundingher.“Justsowe’reclear,Natalie,Iwouldn’thaveanyproblemfendingoffsomecityboyinloafers.”
Pleasetellmethatmyvaginalwallsdidnotflexinresponsetothat.“Jesus.Leaveittoyoutohaveapissingcontestwithsomeoneyou’venevermet.”
Whywasshebreathingsofast?
Herwordstrippedoverthemselvesonthewayoutandheonlymovedcloser,hishandopeningwideonherhipandsqueezing,hislipsmakingthebarestcontactwithhers.“Rebound,huh?”
“Isthatwhatyou’remadabout?”
“WhosaidI’mmad?”
“Yourface.”
Theirlipswereallbutflushnow.“MaybeI’mjustpissedImissedmychancetohelpyoumoveonfromyourbrokenengagement.”
“Ihavemovedon.”
“Proveit,princess.”Eversobriefly,histonguetouchedtheseamofhermouthandfingersoflustrakedupherinnerthighs.“Convincethistrainfullofyourfellowwinesnobsthatyou’redyingtowalkdowntheaislewithme.”
Bastard.“Tothisday,nooneinSt.Helenahaseverbeatenmyrecordforshotstakenataparty.Sixteenshots,August.Ishouldbyallaccountsbedead.Beforeme,therecordstoodatfifteen.”
“Proudofyou,girl,butwhyareyoutellingmethis?”
“SoyouunderstandthatIdon’tlose.NotwhenI’mchallenged.”
Arumblewentoffinhischest.“Gettingthatmouthonminewon’tbealoss.”
Slowly,shewoundhistiearoundherfistandusedherbodytoguidehimbackintothedarkinterioroftheLovers’Nestchair,turningsoherbreastswerepressedhightohischest.“Areyousureaboutthat?”
“SureasI’veeverbeenaboutanything,”Augustsaidwithconfidence.
Butwhenshetwistedalittleinhislap,hegulped.
“Fuck”wasthelastthinghesaidbeforeNataliesettledhermouthoverhisandkissedhiminawaythatwaspureforeplay.Wetlipsdraggedrighttoleft,teasing,showinghimwhathermouthcoulddoelsewhere.Andbasedontherigidriseofhiserectionunderherbutt,hewasdefinitelythinkingaboutit.Alot.Sheframedhisbristledjawwithherrighthandandtuggedhischindown,openinghismouth,givinghertheaccesstolickdeep,once,twice,threetimes,leisurelyandsavoring,tastinghisheartygroanandfeelinghismusclestensetothepointofsnapping.“Iseewhatyou’redoingnow,”heutteredbetweenkisses.“You’regoingtogetmehotandleavemehanging,aren’tyou?”
“Congratulations,”shepanted.“You’renotasdumbasyoulook.”
Hetiltedherchinup,glazedeyeslookingdownather.“You’reunderestimatinghowmuchIloveachallenge,too,princess.”
Shewouldnotbemakingthatmistakeagain.
Beforesheknewwhatwashappening,August’sfingersslidupintoherhairandfistedathickbunchofit,usinghisgriptotiltbackherhead.Exposeherneck.Andthen…oh.OhGod.Histeethandthetipofhistongueandhislipsmovedlikeasensualtrioupthecurveofherthroat,thenovertotheright.Toaspotbehindherearthathadhertoesspreadingsoquickly,oneofherheelsfelltothefloorwithathwack.
“Ican’tbelieveyouwaiteduntilwe’reonatrainfullofpeopletokissmeagain.”Histeethclosedaroundtheshellofherearandrazedupanddown,upanddown.“Maybeyoudiditonpurposebecauseyouknowexactlywhatwe’dbedoingifwewerealone.”
“Fighting?”
“Fucking.”Helickedacirclebehindherear,tracedapathbacktohermouth,andsuctionedherlipsintoahardkiss.“ButI’dstartwithtwofingersindeepbetweenyourlegsandI’dkeepthemthereuntilyou’rewetenoughtotakeithard.”
Morevaginalflexing.Accompaniedbyasoftmoanshetriedtodisguisewithacough.
Foolingnoone.
Thetableswerequicklybeingturned
Shecouldseehiminhermind’seye,movingroughlyontopofherinamessofbedding,herankleslockedbehindhisbig,flexingback.Theywouldbeagitatedandsweatyandtryingtooutdoeachotheranditwouldbemind-blowing,butshewouldregretitafterward.Givingintothismanwhothoughtshewasnothingmorethanaspoiledbrat.
Timetoregaintheupperhand.
“MaybeI’dbegivinginsteadoftaking,”shemurmured,draggingafingerdownthefrontofhisshirtandtoyingwithhisbeltbuckle,revelinginthewayhisbreathstuttered.“Itmightbesogoodyouwouldn’tevenmakeittohomebase.”
“Princess,ifIhadtoslidehomeonabedofrazorblades,I’dmakeittothatbasewithyou.”Hebitoffasound.“Stopmovingthattightass,orIsweartoGod…”
“What?”Shecaughthisbottomlipbetweenherteethandrotatedherhips,enjoyingtheprivilegeofwatchinghiseyesglazeover.“Whatareyougoingtodoaboutit?”
“Cry,probably.”
Alaughhopscotchedoutofher.Agenuinegiggleathisstrainedadmission.
Eyesclosed,hesmiledagainsthermouth.
SomethingunexpectedleaptinNatalie’schestandherlipspausedintheactofteasinghimintoanotherkiss.Whattheheckwasthat?Undernocircumstancesshouldanythingbehappeningintheplacebetweenherbrainandhervagina.He’dbeenreadytoleavetown.Hewouldhavelefttownifitwasn’tforheroffertohelphimsecurealoan.He’dpeggedherasaspoiledrichgirl.Theyweren’teveninarealrelationship,yethe’dalreadyfirmlyrejectedeverythingabouther.Itwouldbeawasteoftimeandenergytryingtoprovehimwrong.Especiallywhentheirpotentialarrangementwasfoundedonthereleaseofherveryhealthytrustfund.
She’dbewastingherbreath.
“Comebackhere,”herasped,studyingher.“Tortureme.Icantakeit.”
Getup.Sheneededtogetup.
They’dalmostdefinitelybeenspottedkissinginthereflectionofthewindow.ThepurposeoftheLovers’Nesthadbeenserved.Sowhywassheleaninginagain,cravingthefullnessofhislipsandthewayhishandstraveledoverherslowly,memorizingthedipofherside,theshapeofherkneecaps,everywhere.
Natalie’smouthwashalfacentimeterfromAugust’s,herheartpoundingriotously.Thegauntletbetweenthemwasblurring.Thiskisswasgoingtobeallaboutpleasure.Exploring.Them.Desperately,shetriedtorecallalltheinsultsaboutherdrinkingandthewayhe’dintentionallyblindsidedherinthetent,butallshecouldfeelwashisheartbanginglikecrazyandherownleaptinresponsetotheproofthathewassoaffected—
“Natalie.”
Ittookherafullfivesecondstorealizehermotherwasspeaking.
Fromwhere?
NatalieliftedherheadandleanedtothesideandtherewasCorinne,armsfoldedacrosshertrimmiddle,regardingherwithanimpassiveexpression.“OhmyGod,”shewhispered.“Caughtmakingoutbymymother.DidIaccidentallyboardthetrainbacktomiddleschool?”
“Couldwespeakprivately,please?”Corinnecontinued.
“Oneminute.”
Natalieduckedbackintotheprivacyofthechair,willingherfacebacktoanormaltemperature.
August’sheaddroppedbackonagroan.“Christ.”
“Antichristismorehervibe,actually.”
Hischestroseandfellonapainedlaugh.“You’llhavetogivemeaminute.Or…sixty.Forthisthingtogodown.”
“Inthatcase,definitelydon’tthinkaboutmegoingdown,”shesaid,flutteringhereyelashes.
“Natalie,”hegrittedout.
Shedroppedhermouthtohisearandletoutawarmbreaththatmadehimshiverandclutchatthesideofherdress.“LookslikeIwin,ratking.”
Hisjawpopped.“Thistime.”
“Thisistheonlytimethiswillhappen.We’vemadeourpoint.”
“UnfortunatelyI’vestillgotmine,”hemuttered,noddingathislap.
“Gross,”shesnapped,eventhoughshefelttheflutteringofalaughbuildinherthroat,andclimbedoffhislap.“GetyourselftogetherwhileI”—shelockedeyeswithCorinne—“speaktomybeautifulmother.”
Corinnerolledhereyesandwalkedaway.
Nataliefollowed,smilingandthankingpeoplewhocongratulatedherasshepassed.Whentheyreachedaquietcornerofthetraincar,Corinnekeptaserenesmileonherface,buttherewasnomistakingthetemperinhereyes.“Don’tyouthinkitwouldhavebeennicetogiveusalittleprewarningbeforeropingyourbrotherandmeintothisstunt?”
“Yes,Ido,actually.Thatwasmyintention—”
“Inthespaceofthirtyminutes,youandthis…apehaveturnedusintoaspectacle.”
Allatonce,Natalie’sbloodrosetoarollickingboil.“He’sawarveteran.ANavySEAL.Don’tevertalkabouthimlikethatagain.”
Hermother’smouthsnappedshut,butsheregroupedquickly.Natalie,however,didnot.Sincewhenwasshesopassionateaboutdefendingthismanwhowassupposedtobeherenemy?Shecouldinsulthimuntilthecowscamehome,butsomeoneelseattempteditandshebittheirheadoff?“Youthrewwineinthisman’sfaceattheBouquetsandBeginnerscompetitiontwodaysago.Doyounotthinkeveryoneintownknowsaboutit?Doyounotthinkthey’rewonderinghowyoucouldgofromenemiestoengagedsoquickly?”
Natalie’scheeksheated.Atthisrate,shewasgoingtoburnoffalayerofskin.“Couplesargue.Youshouldknowthatbetterthananyone.It’snotsohardtoswallowtheideathatwewereinthemiddleofaspat.”
Theotherwomanwasalreadyshakingherhead.“Youaregoingtohumiliatethisfamily,thesamewayyoudidinhighschool.”
Natalierearedbacklikeshe’dbeenslapped.Herbodyretreatedfromthesharpreprimand—andherbackcameuphardagainstanimmovableobject.Startled,shetiltedherheadtofindAugustbehindher,frowning.Firstatherandthenathermother.“Everythingokay,princess?”
Corinnescoffedatthenickname.Nataliewatchedhermotherwageawarbetweenmannersandherobviousanger.Surprisingly,theangerwon.InsteadofshakinghandswithAugustandsayingsomethingtosmoothovertheuncomfortablesituationasshenormallywould,Corinnesailedpastthemwithatightsmileandapproachedadifferentgroup,launchingintoaboringroundofsmalltalkaboutthetrain’srestoredvintagefixtures.
“Howmuchdidyouhear?”Natalieaskedwithoutturningaround.
Abeatpassed.“Some.”
Basedonhisgrufftone,he’dheardthepartaboutherhumiliatingthefamily.“Great.IguessIspoketoosoon.”Shedidn’tknowwhattodowithherarms.Crossthem.Gesturewithoutpurpose.Hughermiddle.“Youwintonight’sbattle.”
Theystoodinsilenceamoment.ThenAugustsurprisedherbytakingholdofherrighthandandleadingherbacktowardtheLovers’Nest.Hedroppedintotheseatandpulledherdownafterhim.Shedidn’thavetheenergytofighthimorpretendhiswarmthwasn’twelcomeand,amomentlater,shefoundherheadtuckedbeneathAugust’schin,herlegsdrapedoverhisthighs,watchingNapagobyinthesilence.
“Let’scallitatiefortonight,”herumbled.
Natalie,experiencingtheshockofalifetime,closedhereyesandnodded.
Hisvoiceturnedsoothingagainstherear.“I’mgoingtorentatuxandyou’regoingtoputonaprettydress.Orpants.Ivaluemyballs,soI’mnottellingyouwhattowear,Ijustlikeyourlegs.Alot.Basically,theybelonginamuseum.”Shesniffedathank-youandhepattedheronthehead.“We’regoingtosaythevowsandthenI’mgoingtobringyouhometomypsychotic-asscat.Wemightevenbondovertryingtodefendourselvesagainstherfelineevil.Ifwemanagetosurviveeachother—andMenace—wearegoingtostickthisthingoutuntilyouhavethemoneytostartyourfirm.Okay?”
Hadanyoneevermadeanefforttoreassureherlikethis?
MaybeJulian,whenshefirstreturnedhomeandfelthorriblyoutofplacebeingbackinSt.Helena.Butherbrother’seffortsdidn’tstrikelikethis.Notsothoroughly.
HowoddthatitwouldbeAugusttocalmherdownafterhe’dspentsolongrilingherup.
“Okay,”sheagreed,testingahandonhischest.“Andyourloan.”
Apausewentby.“Yeah,princess.That,too.”
Andsheleftherpalmoverhisheartbeat,feelingthesteadypound,whilethetraintrundledonagainsttheendlesssky,hischineventuallycomingtorestontopofherhead.Maybethiswouldn’tbesobadafterall.
Ha.
ChapterSeven
FamiliarfacessmiledbackatNataliefromthesurfaceofherlaptopscreen.EverytimesheloggedintosocialmediatocheckonherNewYorkcolleagues,theirexpressionsandeventheirnamesbecamelessandlessrecognizable.Thepicturesofherformercoworkersonaprivaterooftophadbeentakenonlyyesterday,maybeevenwhileshe’dbeenmakingoutwithherarchnemesisaboardthewinetrain,butitwaslikelookingatphotographsfromthepast.
ThelongerNataliewasawayfromNewYork,themorethesepeopleandtheirglitzyactivitiesgrewunfamiliar.Thebounceofeuphoriaafterasuccessfulswap,theadrenalinethatsurgedwhentheopeningbellrang—hermemoriesofthosethingswerestartingtofadealongwiththescentofvictorycigars.Thosepiecesofherlifeweregrowingmuffledandshewantedthemback.Sharper.Shewantedtoexperienceitallagain,inperson
Whenshe’dfirstarrivedinSt.Helena,therehadbeenanalmostdesperatesenseofFOMO.Mustgetbackassoonaspossible.Mustnotletthemforgetaboutme.Itwasstillthere,beatinglikeanextrapulseinherbloodstream,buttheurgencyhadstartedtoloseitsgriponher—andthatsimplywouldn’tdo.Sheneededitback.FiveminutesinNewYorkequatedtofiveyearsanywhereelse.Peopleforgot.Businessmovedon.Theroadpavedrightoveryesterday’sstarandcalledthemaspeedbump.
Shebelongedonthatroof,makingthetoast.Celebratingabreaknecktradethataddedvaluetothefund’scoffers.Zeroesonthescreen.Whenshe’dbeenaddingthosezeroes,she’dbeenembraced.She’dbeenamemberofthewinningteam.
HereinSt.Helena?
Shewasthebumbling,cartoonishmascot.
Althoughyesterday,foraverybriefwindow,she’dbeenonatwo-personteam.Withthemostunexpectedofallies.August.Maybethat’swhyshewasawakesoearly—again—tryingtosearimagesfromherdesiredtimelineintoherbrain.BecauseithadbeenalittletooeasytocallatrucewithAugustandletherselfjust…be.Beokaywiththatbigarmslungaroundherhipandhispricklychinrestingontopofherhead,nuzzlingherhaireverysooften.
Wasitashowforthecrowd?
NataliesighedandstrokedafewkeysonherMac,goingtoalocationontheinternetsheabsolutelyshouldbeavoidingliketheporkspecialatanall-nightdiner.
Herex-fiancé’sInstagram.
Shehesitatedbrieflybeforetappingenter—andthentherehewasinallhissuited,boyishcharm.Herstomachturnedsouratthememoryofhimcalmlyaskingforherengagementringback.He’dbeenevencalmerwhileexplainingthatwhilehemightloveher,hecouldn’tlettheirrelationshipcosthimacareerhe’dworkedsohardfor.
Calmerstillwhileheaskedhertoleave.
Augustwouldn’tbreakupwithherthatway—thatis,iftheywereactuallytogether,insteadofmerelypretending.Therewouldbeshoutinganddoorslammingandinsultsfrombothofthem.Theywouldbringthehousedown.Whywassheeventhinkingaboutthis?Moreover,whywasshesuddenlytakingnoteofMorrison’sshouldersandmusingthattheycouldfitintoherfakefiancé’sshouldersthreetimes?Itwasn’tacompetition—
Nataliedrewinabreathasanewimagepoppeduponthescreen.Justposted.ApictureofMorrisononthebalconywheresheusedtohavehercoffeeoverlookingCentralParkSouth.Besidehimwasafamiliarblondeinawhitebathrobesippinggreenjuicefromaglass,rollinghereyesoverhavingthephototaken.Thatblonde…Krista,right?Natalieknewher.
Oneoftheirboardmember’sdaughters.
He’dtradedup.
Feelingoutofbreath,Nataliesmackedthelaptopshut.Shestoodupandwalkedahalfcirclearoundthebed.Herheartwasn’tbreaking.Thatdamagehadalreadybeendoneand,ifshewasbeinghonest,ithadbeentheeasiestparttomend.Butherconfidence?Thatwasadifferentstory—andittookanotherpoundingnow,aninvisiblemalletflatteningherlikeachickencutletbetweentwosheetsofwaxpaper.
“Deepbreath,”shemurmuredtoherself,stretchingherarmsupoverherheadandlettingthemfloatdownslowly.Backup,backdown.Shecouldspinthisjarringdiscoverythatherfiancéwasalreadymovingonintosomethingpositive.Whatdidn’tkillherwouldmakeherstronger.Thefactthatherexwassleepingwithabillionaire’sbeautifuldaughterwouldonlymakehercomebackmoresatisfying.She’dbelongagain.Notexactlyasbefore,butwithasimilarlife.She’dgetbackthatsenseof…beingwanted.Beingseen.
Decidingtograbacupofcoffeebeforegettingintheshower,Natalieopenedtheguestroomdoorasquietlyaspossibleandcreptout,notwantingtodisturbJulianandHallie,whoweresleepingontheothersideofthekitchen.Godforbidshewakethemup.Thebedwouldbecreakingintensecondsflatandhonestly,bearingwitnesstosomeoneelse’sorgasmquestwasthelastthingsheneededthismorning.
Shestuckapodinthecoffeemaker,placedamugunderthespout,andpulledtheleverdown,selectingthestrongestsetting.Andwaited.
WhywasAugust’sfacethefirstimagetopopintoherheadliterallyfiveminutesafterfindingoutherexwasdatingsomeonenew?Shedidn’tknow.Butitwasdefinitelyasigntoredrawthebattlelinestoday.Theymightbeworkingtogetherforagreatercauseinpublic.Inprivate,hisfavoritepastimewasscorningherforbeingbornintoprivilegewhilehe’ddonelifethehardway.
Although…shedidn’tknowalotaboutthepathhe’dtaken.
Maybesheshouldfindout.Justincaseanyoneasked.
Sheshouldprobablyknowatleastthebasicsaboutherfakefiancé.
“Psst,”cameahissfromthedarkness.
Natalielurchedfortheknifeblock,pausingonlywhenHalliesteppedintothedimkitchenwearingaStanfordshirtthatwentwellpastherknees.
“Jesus,”Nataliebreathed,slappingahandtothemiddleofherchest,positiveherheartwasabouttoexplodestraightoutofherribcage.“WhatareyoudoingsneakinguponmelikeanoldVictorianghostorsomething?Ialmosthurledabutcherknifeatyou.”
Halliepressedafingertoherlips.“Shhh.”
Natalietiltedherhead.“Nowyou’rereallyfreakingmeout.”
“Sorry,”Halliewhispered,creepingforwardbarefoot,eachofhertoespaintedadifferentcolor,ananklebraceletjanglingsoftly.“Idon’twanttowakeupJulian.”
“Really?Youseemtolovewakinghimup.Alongwiththedead.”
Herbrother’sgirlfriendpinkenedslightly,butshewasn’tthwartedbytheinnuendo.No,sheappearedtobeextremelyfocusedforsixA.M.“Canwechat?”
“Um…”Whatwasgoingonhere?Nataliepickedupherfreshlybrewedcoffeeandsippeditblackforaninitialkickbeforeheadingtothefridgeformilk.“Sure.What’sonyourmind?”
Whateverthereasonforthispredawnrendezvous,Halliewasdeadlyseriousaboutit.“I’mheretooffermyservices.”
Nataliedidadoubletakewhileaddingasplashofmilktohercoffee.“Inwhatway?”
Halliefrownedasiftheanswershouldbeobvious.“Why,foryourfakewedding,ofcourse.I’mheretohelp.”
“Don’tgetcomfortablecallingitthat.ThereareeyesandearseverywhereinSt.Helena,youknow.”Nataliemockshivered.“We’rejustgoingtoexchangevowsatthecourthouse,butIsupposeifyouwanttomakemeabouquet—?”
Hallie’sgigglestoppedhershort.“Thecourthouse.That’sadorable.Didn’tyouhearyourmotherdemandaproperwedding?”
Natalie’ssmilevanished,dreadcurlinginherstomach.“Yes,butthere’snowayshecouldplanaweddingwithinthetimeframeweneed.Right?Whatdoyouknow?”
“YourmothertoldJuliantohaveatuxedorentedbythisSaturday.”Hallietookhertimecontinuing.“Andthenshehadtogetoffthephonebecausethecatererwascallingontheotherline.”
“Caterer?”Nataliechokedout.
Sheshouldhaveseenthiscoming.NowayCorinnecouldgetdownwithacourthouseceremony.NotwiththepageantryandtraditionoftheVosnametouphold.
WhatwasAugustgoingtosayaboutthis?
Andwhydidhisverynametransportherbacktothewinetrain,wherehe’dwrappedherinwarmthandslowedtherateofherheartdowntoanormalpacewithsoftwordsinherear,hisstrongarmsgivingherthesensationofweightlessness?He’dmadeherfeelalmost…peaceful.Protected.Howcouldthesamemanwhomadeherwanttoscreechlikeabansheegetthatreactionoutofher?Nowaytoknow.Buttheeffectofhim…lingered.Hard.
“Therewasalsosometalkofgianttentrentals.Giant.”Thecorkscrewblondetiltedherhead,butitwashardtodiscernwhethershewassympatheticorexcited.“You’regettingthefullNapaweddingtreatmentwhetheryoulikeitornot.Corinneistakingtheflash-and-aweapproachtofoolingthelocalflavorandIwantin,too.I’managentofchaos,Natalie.Ican’thelpit,Icravethedanger.”
“HowdoIknowyou’renotonanundercovermission?”Natalienarrowedhereyesovertherimofhermug.“Areyouwearingawire,Welch?”
Withoutamoment’shesitation,herbrother’sgirlfriendliftedtheStanfordT-shirttorevealapairofrainbowpantiesandtwoveryimpressivetatas.ShedroppedtheshirtagainafteramomentandNataliehummedintoasip.“Whatkindofservicesareyouoffering?”
“Floralarrangements,obviously.Butalso…”Halliesteppedforward,comingfartherintothelight.“Literallyanythingnefarious.Namelybachelorettepartyplanning.Igotyou.”
“You’realittlenuts,aren’tyou,Hallie?”
“Iwroteyourbrothersecretadmirerlettersandgotjealouswhenhewrotemeback.”
“Goodpoint.”Natalietappedafingeragainstthesideofhermug.“Aren’tyougoingtoaskwhyI’menteringintothisphonyunionwithsomeoneIoncecalleddiseasedforeskin?Orareyounotaskingbecauseyoualreadyknow?”
“JulianandIhavebeentalkingabout…youknow.”Hallieflushedsorapidly,itwasawonderherlegshadenoughbloodinthemtokeepherupright.“Marriage.Toeachother.Andhemighthavementionedsomethingaboutatrustfundthatwillbereleasedoncethathappens.He’s,um…well,heaskedifI’dbeopposedtohimputtingthatmoneybackintothewinery.Whenthetimecomes.”
ApangcaughtNatalieinthethroat.“Well,he’salotmoreselflessthanIam.”
“No.”Hallieshookherhead.“He’sjustinabetterpositiontohelpatthismoment.”
“Iwouldhelpiftheyasked.IfIthoughttheywantedmyhelp—”Shecutherselfoffwithawaveofherhand,forcingasmile.“Iappreciateyouroffertohelp,crazypants.Iaccept.Iwillfeedyourneedforchaosaslongasyoukeepmysecretamongfamily.”
Hallieclosedhereyesslowly,handspressingtogetherbetweenherbreasts.“Thankyou.Iherebydeclaremyselfyoursecretminion.”
“Justdon’taskmetocallyouthat.”Natalieswitchedoffthecoffeemakerandsaunteredtowardthehallway,halfacupinhand.Beforeexiting,shestoppedinfrontofHallie,whowasallbutquiveringinexcitement.“Mybrotherhasnoideawhathe’sgotteninto,doeshe?”
“Actually,hedoes.”Thegardener’seyessparkled.“He’sfullyawarethatI’mcapableofdestructionandhelovesmeanyway.Maybehe’sthecrazyone.”
“Maybeso,”Nataliemuttered,shakingherhead.“I’vementionedIlikeyou,haven’tI?”
“Ilikeyou,too.”Halliewinkedandmeltedbackintothedarkness,whispering,“Let’sfuckshitup,”asshevanishedintotheblack.
Nataliestaredintothedarkforlongmoments,guiltbeginningtotickleherthroat.Nowshe’ddraggedherentirefamilyandHallieintoherscheme?Wasthisgoingtobetheliethatmultipliedintoathousandmore,whenthewholecharadecouldpotentiallybeavoidedwithonehumblingphonecalltoherfatherinItaly?
Yeah.
Herheadfellbackonhershoulders,asilentgroanissuedattheceiling.Onephonecall.Shecoulddoit.Preferablybeforeshedidanymoredamage—orimplicatedanymorelovedones.Butman,wasitgoingtosuck.
***
Nataliedoodledfuriouslyonanotepad,draggingthetipoftheballpointpenbackandforthinabluetrenchthatslowlyturnedblack.Inherear,thesoundofacallconnectingtoEuropebuzz-buzzed.Shebrokeoutinacoldsweat,glancedattheclock,anddidthetime-differencemathagain.EighthoursaheadinItaly.Itwouldbeearlyevening.Shehadnoideawhatherfather’sschedulewaslike,noideaifthiswasstillhisphonenumber,even.Butshedidn’twanttolookbackintenyearsandwishshe’dmadethisattempttoavertcatastrophe.
“Hello.”
Brisk.Gavenothingaway.Thatwasherfather.
God,therewasnooneonearthmoreintimidating,andshe’dcomeacrosssomegiantswhileinfinance.DaltonVoshadjudgmentaleyesandnotime.Alwaysrushing,ontothenextbestthing,asifhehadafearofleavingtheworldwithoutputtinghismarkonit.He’dbeenfranticinhisdesireforhistobethemostlucrativewineryinNapa.Assoonasthatwasaccomplished,he’dgotten…bored.WithSt.Helena.Hisfamily.
Thefirefouryearsagoseemedalmostunacceptable,likehecouldn’tadmitanaturaldisasterhadgottenthebetterofhim.AfterendinghisfraughtmarriagetoCorinneandsigningoverVosVineyard,he’dshiftedhisobsessivefocustoaFormulaOneteam,nodoubtinvestingagiantchunkofmoneythatthewinerycoulddesperatelyuse.
ItwasthereminderofwhatDaltonhaddonetohermotherthatmadeNataliethrowdownthepenandsitupstraight.“Hello,Father,it’sNatalie.”
“Yes.Yournumbercameup,”hesaid,almostdistractedly.“Howareyou?”
“Fine.I’minSt.Helena,actually.”
“Ah.”Ashortpause.“HowisCorinne?Exhausted,I’mguessing.It’snoteasyoperatingavineyard,asI’msureshe’srealizedbynow.”
“She’sthriving,actually,”Nataliesaidwithouthesitation.Sure,theremightbetensionbetweenherandCorinne,buttherewasn’tachanceinhellshe’dletthismanthinkhe’dbeenthestrongestthingabouthermother.Orthatshewasworseoffwithouthim.Anywomanworthhersaltwouldhavedonethesame.“Betterthanever.”
Noresponse.Infact,shecouldhearhimtypingsomethingontheotherend.
Aloofanddismissiveasalways.
Sheneededtomaketherequestbeforeshestartedshrieking.“I’mcallingbecauseIhavetheopportunitytostartmyowninvestmentfirminNewYork.Mycolleague,Claudia,andIarebranchingout—”
“Iknowyouwerefired,Natalie.Thebadtradethatalmosttankedyourentirefirmearlierthisyear.”Heclearedhisthroat.Achaircreaked.“I’mstillanavidinvestor.Yourcompanymighthavekeptitquiet,butmybrokerwasabletotrackdownthebehind-the-scenesdetails.”
Nausearolledintoherbellylikefogoveralake,astabbingacheforminginthedeadcenterofherforehead.He’dknownabouthergettingfiredandhe’djustcarriedonwithlifeasusual.Whywouldsheexpectanythingdifferent?Recover.Keepittogether.“Yes,well.I’mdown,butnotout.I’malreadyonmywaytorecoveringfromthat,actually,whichiswhy—”
“Whichiswhyyou’recallingaboutmoney.”
“Yes.”Shetookadeep,silentbreath,willingherselftokeepdownthecoffeeshe’ddrunk.“Iam.Callingaboutmytrustfund.Ithinkyouwillagreethatinthisdayandage,thelanguageiswildlyoutdated.”
“Imadethemoney,Natalie.Itisuptomehowtodistributeit.Ifyou’dmadesmarterdecisions,youwouldn’tbehavingthisissue.”
“Whatdoyouwantmetosay?Iscrewedup?IknowIdid.”Leaveitatthat.Hejustneededtohearhewasright.Lettinghimscorepointswouldburn,butshehadtokeepthegoalinmind.
Butthenhewentthere.Hewentthere
“Maybetheideaofgettingmarriedisnotsowildlyoutdatedafterall.Perhapsyou’remoresuitedtofamilylifethanbusiness,Natalie.”
Inotherwords,getbackinthekitchen.
Everyhaironherbodystoodstraightup.“Frankly,Father,Idon’tthinkamanwhoabandonedhisownwifeisinapositiontoextolthevirtuesofmarriage.”
AsnortfromDalton.Thenthelinewentdead.
Sheclosedhereyesandletthephonedroptoherlap.
Theweddingwasdefinitelyon.
ChapterEight
Augustswipedahandacrosshissweatybrowandtosseddownawrench.
Oneofthebestpartsofleavingthiswinerybehindwouldhavebeenneverseeingthishorizontalpresseveragaininhislifetime.Afterhesoldtheproperty,theantiquatedequipmentwouldbecomesomebodyelse’sproblem.Nowherehewas,fixingthetemperamentalpieceofgarbagefortheeighthundredthtime.
Givingwinemakinganotherpointlesstry.
MaybethistimehisCabernetwouldactuallykillsomebody.
Augusttookafewstepstowardtheworktablethatranalongtherightsideofthebarnandpluckeduphiswaterbottle,drainingmostofthecontentsinonegulpanddumpingtheremnantsoverthetopofhishead.Sighing,heleanedbackagainstthetableandscannedthebarn,hisgazelingeringontherowofoakbarrelsthatcontainedfermentinggrapesandtheirjuice,which,intheory,shouldageintowine.
Truthbetold,he’dbeenalittleanxiousaboutleavingthosebarrelsinhisrearview.He’dgrowntheircontentsfromthesoil,pickedthegrapeswithhisbarehands,andifhecouldjustfindtherightmanipulationofyeast,somethingwouldclick.Right?
Augustsnorted,rememberinghowmanypeoplehe’dwatchedspithiswineuplikebabiesafterafullbottleofformula.He’dhadsuchhighhopesthefirsttimehewalkedin.Theplacewouldbepackedfullofpeopledrinkingwinewithhisbestfriend’snameonthelabel.Somewhere,somehow,SamwouldseethatanddothatclapandlaughcombinationthatAugustcouldhearinhissleep.
Althoughhisattemptstosleephadbeeninterruptedbysomeoneelseentirelylastnight.Natalie.MemoriesofthemsharingthatLovers’Nestonthewinetrain.
Vividmemoriesthatweremakinghiscockaveryunhappycamper.
God,herassfitsoperfectlyintohislap.
August’sheadfellbackonagroan.Whycouldn’thejustbeatoffandgetitoverwith?Hewantedto.Badly.Themouthofhellopeningupinhisfrontyardnormallywouldn’tevenstophimfromstrokingoneout,ifnecessary—andChrist,itwasnecessarynow.Weirdly,hisupstairsbrainseemedintentonbombardinghimwithnonsexythoughts,though,interruptingthewholeself-hand-jobprocessinitsinfancy.
Mainly,hedidn’tlikethememoryofNataliedeflatingathermother’scriticism.
He’ddefinitelyenjoyedthewayshe’dcurledintohimforcomfort—couldn’thelpit—buthedidn’tlikethecause.Notonebit.Nataliebeingsadmadehisdicksoftbeforehecouldgetagoodrhythmgoing.Whatthefuck
Whenthesourceofhisdiscomfortappearedinthedoorwayofthebarnholdinganotebook,lookinglikeayoungprofessionalonherwayintotheboardroom,Augustcouldonlystare.Wasshestillupsetaboutlastnightorfeelingbetter?
Becausehisdickhadnoideahowtoact.
Hegothisanswerwhenshewrinkledhernose.“God,Icansmellyoufromhere.”
Definitelyfeelingbetter.
Withahumorlesslaugh,heswipedupthewrenchfromtheground.“Thisiswhatmanuallaborlookslike,Natalie.Haveyoueverseenitinreallifeorjustinmovies?”
Herwitheringsighfilledthebarn.“Igrewuponawinery,moron.Iknowwhatmanuallaborlookslike.”
“Nope.Youknowwhatitlookslikewhenotherpeoplearedoingit.”
Sheopenedhermouthtorespond,butsnappeditshutjustasquickly,avoidinghisgaze.Immediatelyhewishedtohaveitback.Whydidhecontinuetofallintothistrapwithher?Whydidtheyfighteverytimetheywereinthesameroom?Didshesteerthemintodisagreementsordidhecontinuallyputhisfootinhismouthwhereshewasconcerned?“Icametodiscussthe…exchangeofvows,”shesaid,presentinghimwithanunconcernedsmile,eventhoughhereyeswerevulnerableinawaythatmadehisgulletpinchtogether.Godsavehimfromhiskaleidoscopicwoman.“Unlessyousleptonitlastnightanddecidedtobackout.”
“I’mnotbackingout.”Thatlongbreathsheletoutmadehimwanttoshakeher.Orkissher.Orsomething.“Sowe’redoingnotebook-levelplanning,huh?”
“Guessyouhavetoputashirton.Unlessyou’verippedthemalldownthemiddlepretendingtobetheHulkinthemirror.”
“AsopposedtoaskingmymirrorifI’mthefairestoneofalllikeyoudo,ohevilone?”
“Bewareofpoisonapplesoncewe’remarried.Icouldinheritthisplaceandactuallymakesomedecentwine.”
“Youmeanyoucouldhireotherpeopletodoit?”
“Betterthanstubbornlytryingtodoitalonewithoutanyexpertisewhatsoever.”
“Doyouthinkyoucandobetter,princess?BecauseasfarasIcantell,youhavenothingtodowiththeactualproducingorbottlingofyourfamily’swine.Onlythedrinkingofit.”
Theshutterswentdown.
Shewentfromanimatedtoroboticinonesecondflat.
Andhisbrain,theupstairsone,startedtorecalltheothertimeshe’dpokedfunatNatalieforherpenchanttogettipsyonafrequentbasis.Hadshereactedthesamewaythoseothertimes?Yeah…Augustsuspectedmaybeshehad,butitwashardtotellwhentheywereswingingfromonebarbtothenextlikemonkeysonvines.
“Doyouwantmetostopneedlingyouaboutthedrinking?”heasked,approachingherfromtheothersideofthebarn.“Ican.”
Sheflippedopenthenotebooktothefirstpageandpretendedtomakeanote,eventhoughhecouldseethecapwasstillonherpen.“Ithardlymatters.Everythingyousaytomegoesinoneearandouttheother.”
“No,thedrinkingthingbothersyou.”
“You’remakingabigdealoutofnothing.”
“BecauseI’llstop.”
“We’resettingparametersnowforinsultingeachother?”
“Yeah.Lookslikeit.Thegoalisn’ttohurtyourfeelings.”
Thatsurprisedher.Andgotherattention.Good.“Whatisthegoal?”
“You’resodeterminedtoputmeinmyplaceonthepegbelowyou.MaybeI’mjusttryingtogetyoudowntothesamelevelsowecan…”
“Havesex?God,you’resopredictable.”
“Iwasgoingtosay,sowecanseeeyetoeyeagain.”
“Inbed.”
“Amongotherplaces.”
Likecuddlingontrains.Notthathecouldsaythatoutloudwithouthercrucifyinghim.
Hecould,however,getthisoneproblemsolved,couldn’the?Thiswomanshouldn’thavetoputupherguardaroundhim.Itbotheredhimagreatdealthatshedid.Helikedhersittinginhislapandtrustinghimahellofalotmore.“Yourmothersaidsomethinglastnightabout…anincidentwhenyouwereinhighschool?”
Hermusclesbraced,asifshedidn’texpecthimtobringthatupandwasnowpreparingtolayeronevenmorearmor.Nothappening.
“Natalie,Iburped‘WantedDeadorAlive’byBonJoviintoamicrophoneatmyhighschooltalentshowwhenIwasseventeen.Inawigandtasseledkneesocks.I’mnotheretopassjudgment.”
Agaspinglaughsnuckoutofher.“Lastplace,I’massuming?”
“Theydidn’treallygraspmyartisticvision.”
Sheranhereyesoverhim,asiftryingtopicturethescene,andpressedherlipstogethertosmotherasmile.Hesitating.Thenwithajerkyshoulderroll,sheconfessed,“Idotendtousealcoholasacopingmechanism.OfcourseIdo.I’manadultlivinginthisworld.”Shechewedtheinsideofhercheek,herexpressionrunningthegamutofemotionssoquickly,hehadtoconcentrateonkeepingup.Damn,shewassomething.“Backinhighschool,though,itwasmore…theimpetustoactoutandgettheattentionIneeded.Juliancamebyitsoeasily.Attentionforhisachievementsandhiswisewayofreasoningthroughaproblem.Ididn’thaveanyofhisattributesandIpanicked,Iguess.I’dstartedtofeelinvisible.WhenIdrankalotandactedreckless,peopleatleastpaidattention.TheythoughtIwasfunny.Thepartygirl.”
Augustwasdyingtoshoutthateveryonewhodidn’tpayattentiontohermusthavebeenuttermorons,buthewasafraidtointerruptwiththewrongsentimentandcausehertoshutdown.Godknewtheywerealreadyatoddsduetohispenchantforsayingthewrongshit.
Didn’tstophimfromwantingtoverballydefendher.Maybecuddlesomemore.
“Myparentscheckedmeintorehabfortwoweeks,toscareme,morethananything.I’dpulledonetoomanystunts—Ithinkthestrawthatbrokethecamel’sbackwasmebleachingagiantnumbersixty-nineintothefootballfieldthenightbeforehomecoming—”
“Nice.”
Theyfist-bumped.
Thenlookedshockedthatthey’ddoneit.
“…andmyreputationwasbeginningtocastthewineryinanegativelight.Soundsfamiliar,doesn’tit?”Hersmilewastight,butshewaslookingdownatherfistcuriously,asifstillabsorbingthefactthatithadbumpedintohis.“Itworked.Iwasreallyscared.”
Thosewords,deliveredinsuchamatter-of-facttone,causeddenialtoripthroughAugust.“Whoscaredyou?”hebarked.
“Me.”Awrinkleformedinherbrow.“Me.OnceIdidn’thavethepartymagictohidebehind,allIhadwasme.IneededtofigureoutwhatIwasgoodat.Besidesthrowingkeggers.”
AugustreallywishedhewasinapositiontopickNatalieupandbear-hugher—andmakehersweartoGodnoonehadscaredheratrehab—butthiswasimportantinformation.Heneededtolisteninsteadofjustreacting.“SowhenImakefunofyoufordrinkingtoomuchwine,youfeelunhappy,”hesaidveryslowly,piecingitalltogether.“Becauseyouwanttobeacknowledgedfortheotherthingsyou’regoodat?LikeWallStreetshit?”
Shedidn’tquitehideheramusement.“Waytoworkthroughit,bigguy.”
Heletoutthebreathhe’dbeenholdinginaheavyrush.“Ismynosebleeding?”
“No.It’sstillugly,butyou’regood.”Herlipstwitched,thenstilled.“Iguess…yeah.I’mnotsogoodattheWallStreetshitrightnow,sowhenyouconstantlyjokeaboutthedrinking—”
“Itremindsyouofbeingseventeen.Whendrinkingandpartyingwasallyouhad.”
“AndIfeelnotgreat.”Thecolorofhercheeksdeepened.“Aboutit.”
Awheeloffirespuninhisstomach.“Idon’tlikeyoufeelinglessthangreat.ThatImadeyou.I’msorry.”HetookasteptowardNatalieandtiltedupherchin,marvelingoverthesmoothlinesofherneck,thewayhereyelidsdroopedslightlyathistouch.Howcouldhecontinuallybeatoddswithsomeonesodelicate?“Nomorejokesaboutthewine.”
“Everythingelseisfairgame?”
“Imean,Ihavetopayyoubackforthatuglynosecomment,right?”
Forthebarestofseconds,Natalieleanedherfaceintohispalmandsighed,beforeshakingherheadandsteppingback.“Doyouthinkwecanavoidfightingforhalfanhourwhilewefigureouthowtoputthe‘civil’incivilceremony?BecauseCorinnehasbeenbusy—”
“Yes,ma’am,”hedrawled,followingherwithawink.“ButI’mleavingmyshirtoff.You’rewelcome.”
“MyGod.”Shewavedherhandfrantically.“Thestenchofyou.”
“Hardworkcomeswithaprice.You’dknowthatifyouevertriedit.”
“Youmean,like,diggingaholebigenoughforyourgrave?BecauseI’dbewillingtotrythat.”
“Burymewithasix-packof—”Augusthaltedmid-strideonhiswayoutofthebarn,coldwashingdownhisinsidesandhardeningintoice.Simultaneously,hiseyesstartedtoburnandhisbodysnappedtoattention,handwhippingtohisforeheadinasalute.Itwasn’tnecessary.Notinthissetting.Hewasn’teveninuniform.Butmusclememoryperformedtheactionatthesightofhiscommandingofficerwalkingtowardhimacrossthelawn.“Sir.”
“Atease,Cates.”
Hisarmdropped.Heforcedhimselftolookthemanintheeye,eventhoughaholewasbeingtornstraightdownhismiddle.“Ididn’tknowyouwerecoming.”
Thebarestflashofamusement.“YouknowIliketohavetheelementofsurpriseonmyside.”
Augustforcedalaughbutitcameoutrusted.Nearlythreeyearshadpassedsincethelasttimehe’dseenhiscommandingofficer,andithadbeenundertheworstcircumstancespossible.ThefuneralofhissonandAugust’sbestfriend,Sam.ThoughlookingCommanderZelnickintheeyewasextremelydifficult,Augustdidn’tallowhisgazetofalterasthemantreadcloser,hisattentiondriftingoutoverthevineyardwithopencuriosity.
AugustbecameacutelyawareofNataliebehindhim.Havingherpresentforthisreunionwastheequivalentofmakinganincisionfromthroattobellyandlettingherseeeverythingontheinside.Totallyexposed,utterlyvulnerable,nowheretohide.
Heturnedslightly,meetingNatalie’sinterestedgazeandholdingouthishandtoher.Hewasn’tsurewhy.Onlythatitseemednaturaltoreassureherthattheunexpectedappearanceofastrangerwasn’tathreatofanykind.Ormaybeheneededtofeelthewarmthofheragainsthissuddenlyclammypalm.Shedidn’thesitateforasinglesecondbeforetakinghishandandsqueezingit.Skirmishforgotten.Interestinghowtheycouldflipthatswitchsoquickly.Whatdidthatmean?
“Sothisistheplaceyou’vebuiltformyson.”CommanderZelnickstopped,claspedhishandsbehindhisback.Histonewasbriskasever,butwarmthseepedthrough.“Hadaweekoffandfinallydecidedtocomeseeitformyself.”
Christ.He’dalmostleftitbehindtwodaysearlier.Outofnecessity,sure,butthismanwouldhavearrivedandfoundanabandonedvineyard.Ifitweren’tforNatalie.
Hepulledhercloserwithoutthinking.“Yes.ForSam.It’saworkinprogress,”hemanagedaroundtheobjectinhisthroat.“Sir,IwouldlikeyoutomeetNatalieVos.Myfiancée.”PerpetuatingthephonyrelationshiptohisCOdidn’texactlyfeelgreat,butthewordswereoutintheopenbeforehecouldthinkbetterofthem.Justhangingthere,feelinglikethetruth.“Natalie,thisisCommanderBrianZelnick.”
Zelnicknodded,visiblyimpressed—andalittlesurprised.“Goodtomeetyou,Natalie.”
Ofcoursehewouldbesurprised.NotonlywasNataliebeautifulinapolishedway,shehadanairofsophisticationandsuccessthatsheworelikeanaura.Inotherwords,notthekindofgirlwhoendedupwithaloudassholewholikedtotradebattlewoundstoriesandhadlongagoearnedthenicknameBullhornamonghisfellowSEALs.
“It’sverynicetomeetyou,”shesaid,goingbacktoscrutinizingAugust.HecouldfeelthatshewantedtoaskaboutSamandhepressedathumbtothesmallofherwrist,hopingshewouldknowwhatitmeant.Thathe’dexplainlater.Andsomehowshedid.Sheinterpretedtheactionwithanod.“I’llletyoutwotalk.”ToAugust,shesaid,“I’llbeinside.”
NatalietuggedonherhandthreetimesbeforeAugustrealizedhewasstillholdingitinhisgrip.Finally,hereleasedherandtheywatchedherwalktowardthehouse,goinside,andclosethedoor.Augustandthecommanderturnedtogetherlikeasingleunitandwalkedsidebysidetowardtheedgeofthevines,theearthy,sun-heatedaromaofgreeneryandgrapescarryingintheirdirectiononalightbreeze.
AbeadofsweatrolleddownAugust’stempleashewaitedforhisCOtospeak.
Thismanhadassuredhimoncethathedidn’tblameAugustforwhathappenedtoSam—andtheCOneverrepeatedhimself.Nonetheless,Augusthadtoswallowthedeepurgetoaskforthosewordsonemoretime.God,heneededtohearthemandyet,theymadenodifference.He’dlethisfriendgetkilledfifteenyardsawayfromhim.
Fifteenfuckingyards.
“Iappreciatewhatyou’vedonehere,son,”saidZelnick,hisvoicemoregravellythanbefore.“Samwouldhave,too.”
Augustclearedhisthroathard.“Totellyouthetruth,I’mashitwinemaker,sir.Ithinkhe’dprobablybelaughinghisassoff.”
AlowchucklefromhisCO.“Ididmyhomework.Iknowithasn’tbeenanidealexperienceforyou.That’stheotherreasonI’mhere.”Heremainedsilentamoment.“You’vealwaysbeenabatteringram.Kickdownthedoor,askquestionslater.Buttherearecertainthingsinlifethatrequirepatienceanddiligence.Youmusthavelearnedsomeofthatlessonalready,ifyou’veconvincedthatwomantomarryyou.”
Patienceanddiligence.
Isthatwhathe’dbeenneedingwithNatalie?
Hememorizedthosetwowordsandtuckedthemawayforlater.
“You’resayingIcan’texpectperfectionrightaway,”Augustsaid.“Thatittakestime.”
“Yes.”ZelnickcrossedhisarmsandbracedhislegsapartinastancethatwassofamiliartoAugust,remindedhimsomuchofSam,thathehadtolookaway.“Thatbeingsaid,Iknowthatspendingtimeonaprojectlikethisequalsmoney.Alotofit.That’swhyI’mheretoinvest.”
ChapterNine
Nataliestoodatthewindowpeeringthroughtheblinds,Menacemakingfigureeightsthroughherlegs.ShestudiedtheripplethatwentthroughAugust’sback,herfingersrestlessonthesill.Ittookheramomenttorealizeshewastracingtheexactshapeofthatscaronhisrightshoulderandsheimmediatelystopped.Backedawayfromtheblinds.Wentbackandlookedoutagain.
Sothisistheplaceyou’vebuiltformyson.
Okay.Wait.What?
Whathadshemissed?
Andwhywasthisnewunknowntyingherstomachinknots?
Anideaoccurredtoherandshesteppedbackfromthewindowoncemore,turning,hesitatingforamoment,thenstridingintothekitchenandthrowingopencabinets.Searchingforabottleofwine.Maybeananswertotheriddlewouldbeincludedonthelabel,whichshe’dneverbotheredtoreadveryclosely.
Nothing.NotasinglebottleofAugust’swineinthehouse—he’dgiventhemallaway.
ShepulledoutherphoneandperformedaGooglesearchwiththenameofAugust’swinery.Severalcriticalreviewspoppedup.Hergazesnaggedonthewordsundrinkable,fermentedinadumpster,killitwithfire.Butofcoursehedidn’thaveawebsite.She’djustmovedontothesecondpageofsearchresultswhenthefrontdoorofthehouseopenedandAuguststoodoutlinedintheframe,histhickbodynearlyblockingoutallofthesun.
Histhroatappearedtobestuckinthemiddleofaswallow.
Nataliecouldn’tseemtomove,couldonlywatchhimashetookafewabsentstepsintothehouseandclosedthedoorbehindhim,hisheavyfootfallsmakingthefloorboardsgroan.Inthedistancewasthesoundofacarenginestartingandmovingoutofearshot.Hiscommandingofficerwasleavingalready?
“Didthe…meetingnotgowell?”
Augustpausedinthehallwayleadingtowardthebedroom.“Itwentfine.”Briefly,heglancedbackatheroverhisshoulderandshehurriedlycatalogedthetrenchbetweenhisbrows.“Thanksforgoingalongwiththewholefiancéethinginfrontofhim.He’sgoingtotelleveryonebackonbasethatI’mmarryingaknockout.”
Whenhekeptwalking,leavingthatknee-weakeningcomplimentinhiswake,Nataliestartedtoshiver.Hewasn’tbeinghimself.Itremindedheroftheafternoonofthewinetastingcompetition.Howhe’dretreateddeepintothatbig,goofyheadandcouldn’tseemtofindhiswayout.Soshefollowedhim.Allthewaytothebathroom.Whensheopenedthedoor,hewasstandingwithhishandsbracedonthesink,hisheadbowedforward.
“August,whoisSam?”
Afteramoment,hisheadcameup,andheturnedtowardher,hisexpressionweary.“Hewasmybestfriend.He…diedincombat.Killedduringaraid.Lastonein.Hewasthelastonein.I’mstillnotsurehowwemissedthetargetcomingdownthestaircase.Faultyintel,theysaid,asifithelps.”Whileshedigestedthatawfulandjarringinformationwithoutbeingabletotakeabreath,August’sfingersdrummedonthesideofthevanity.“Samhadthisdreamtobeawinemaker.Wealllaughedaboutit.CalledhimNapaDaddy.Buthewasseriousaboutdoingit.Leavingtheteamsonedayandbuyingasmallvineyard,likethisone.Thisishisdream,notmine.I’mjusttheonefuckingitup.”
Natalie’sstomachhungdownsomewhereinthevicinityofherankles.Everyterriblethingshe’deversaidtohimcameroaringbackinperfectclarity,makingherthroatfeellikeithadbeencuttoribbons.“August…”
“You’reright.”Hepushedoffthesinkabruptly,hishoarselaughfillingthesmallbathroom.“Ismellgod-awful.I’lltakeaquickshowerandthenwecantalkaboutweddingstuff,huh?”
Hedidn’twaitforananswer.Justleanedintotheshowerstallandtwistedthehandle,thesoundofwaterpeltingthetilewallfillingthesilence.Feelingnumbdowntohertoes,Nataliebackedoutofthebathroomandclosedthedoorbehindher.Guiltburnedinsideeveryoneofherorgans.Madeherlimbsfeellikedeadweight.Allthistime,he’dbeentryingtofulfillthisdreamforhislatebestfriendandeveryonehadbeenridiculinghimforit?
Therealityofthatwastoomuchtobear.
Natalie’shandstillrestedonthebathroomdoorknobandshewatchedthroughgrittyeyesasitturnedinhergrip,lettingherbackintothenow-fogged-upspace.WhatamIdoing?Noidea.Butsheknewthatshe’dbeenextremelyunfairtothemanontheothersideoftheshowercurtain.Hewasclearlyhurtingafterhavingpainfulmemoriesdredgedup…andshewantedverybadlytocomforthim.Inanywayshecould
Maybetheonlywayshecouldinthisexactmoment?
NatalieuntuckedherT-shirtfromthewaistbandofherskirt,pullingitoffoverherhead.Herskirtdroppedtothefloor,followedbyhersandals.Herfingershesitatedforonlyamomentonthefrontclaspofherbrabeforereleasingit.Baringherbreaststothehot,foggyroom.Tooeagertotouchhimtorealizeshestillworehermintgreenpanties,shewalkedslowlytothecurtainanddrewitback,steppingintothestall.
Or…squeezingintoit,rather.Augustoccupiednearlyeveryinchofspace.
Hestoodwithhisheadhangingforwardbeneaththespray,butthesoundofthecurtainbeingpulledbackandhersteppingintotheshowerhadthemeatofhisshouldersflexingdramatically—andheturnedwithanincredulousexpression.
“Natalie?Whatareyou…”Ifhewasacartoondog,histonguewouldhaverolledoutofhismouth.“Arethoseyourtits?”
“No,they’resomebodyelse’s.”
Apparentlythesarcasmdidn’tregister.Hewastoobusybracinghishandsonthewetshowerwallandleaningdowntolookatthem.“OhmyGod.They’reincredible.”Hechokedasoundandwinced.“Jesus.Myballshavenevergottensoheavysofastinmylife.Prettysureeverydropofbloodinmyheadjustwentsouth.Givemelike…eightsecondstomakesureI’mnotgoingtopassout.”
Seriously,thatwasn’taproblem.
Withhiseyesclampedshutandhisbottomlipbeingpulverizedbetweenhisteeth,Nataliewasgiventheopportunitytolookhimover.Startingfromthetopofhiswetwarrior’storsocoveredindarkhair,downhisegg-cartonstomachtothe…whoa,mama.Hisballswerenottheonlythingthatwashard.Ifthefinancialsectordidn’tworkout,maybeshehadafutureinsnakecharming.Hersexclenchedandturnedwarm,sowarm.Soready.Andifshewasbeinghonestwithherself,thiswasn’tinstantaneousarousal.Thisphysicalattractionhadbeenbrewingformonths.Plaguingher.Keepingherawakeatnight.God,itfeltincredibletostopfightingit.Toletherheartraceandherbodysoftenandknowthatreliefwasonthewayforbothofthem.Finally.Finally.
“Okay,”heexhaledaboveherhead.“IthinkI’mgood.”Hismouthdippedandfoundhersroughly,twosetsoflipsslipperyfromthesteam,suctioningherintoakissthatmadeherwhimperinherthroat,herpalmsflatteningontheridgesofhispecs,hernailsscrapingdownthroughthepatchofspringyhair.“Scratchthat,”hegroaned.“I’msomuchbetterthangood.”
“It’sgoingtofeelevenbetterinsideofme,”shewhisperedagainsthispantingmouth,herfingertipstravelinglower,lower.“It’slongoverdue,isn’tit,babe?”
“Babe?”Hecaughtherwristsbeforeshereachedhiserection,hisbreathpeltingherforehead.“Holdup.Whatisthis,Natalie?”
“I…”Shetriedtotugherwristsfree,buthedidn’tletgo,eyesnarrowedonherthroughtheswirlingmist.“Iwantyou.That’swhatthisis.Wewanteachother.”
“Noshit.Butwhynow?”
Natalieopenedhermouthbutnothingcameout.
“IsthisbecauseofwhatItoldyou?”Slowly,Augustpinnedherwristshighaboveherhead,hismouthhoveringaninchawayfromhers.“DoyouthinkI’mgoingtoletyoupityfuckme,princess?”
Beingcalledout,evenifitwasonlythepartialtruth,rankled.“Basedonthewayyourhard-onistryingtoentermybellybuttonrightnow?Yes,Ido.”
“It’sbeenawhile.He’sconfused.”Hepressedtheirforeheadstogether,lookinghersquareintheeye.“You’reconfused,too,ifyouthinkI’mgoingtoletyouexplainthisawaylaterwithsomenonsenseaboutfeelingbadforme.Nothappening.”
“Youweretryingtodosomethingnoble,”shewhisperedinarush.“Allthistime.”
Hisjawticked.“Thathasnothingtodowithus.”Theybreathedagainsteachother’smouthssolong,shelosttrackofwhowasinhalingorexhaling.Onlyknewherchestachedasmuchasthefleshbetweenherlegs,andAugustwassohard,shecouldalmostfeelthepainandhungerineveryvibratinginchofhisbody.“Ican’tfuckyouwhenyourheadisn’tintherightplace.”Hismouthmovedtoherear,openlipsrakingsidetosideoverit,thenupintoherhair.“ButI’dsellmysoultoyankthosepantiesdownandfingeryou,Natalie.ThefactthatI’venevermadeyoucomeeatsmealive.Doyougetthat?It’sthefirstthingIthinkaboutwhenIwakeupinthemorning.Stillhaven’tgivenNatalieanorgasm.Dayeighty-twoofnotmakingthosetwohotlegsshakeandkickthelampoffmysidetable.It’shell.Dayinanddayout.”
Herbrainwasstrugglingtomakesenseofhiswords.Theyweresexywords.Herbodylikedthemverymuch.Asforlogicandherpowerofdeduction?Circlingthedrain.“You…don’twantmetomakeyou—”
“Come?Yeah.Anothertime.Whenthereasondoesn’tpissmeoff.”Hetuckedhiscoarseindexfingerinsidethecenterofthewaistbandofherpanties,soclosetothetopofherslitthatshemoaned,herheadlandingwithathudagainstthetilewall.“SayyesifI’mallowedtopushthesepantiesdowntoyourknees.”
“Yes,”shesaidonashudderingexhale.Wasn’tshesupposedtohatetheabrasivewayhespoketoher?Yes?Didn’tshenormally?Whenhadthatsamemethodofcommunicatingbecomeaverbaldrugtohersenses?“Yes…you’reallowed.”
Withagroanthatshookherheadtotoe,hefistedthefrontofherunderwearsotightlythatshesworehewasgoingtoripitoff,butinsteadhepulledthemdownhard,hislaboredbreathsloudintheshowerstall.Braidingtogetherwithhergasps.Gaspsthatonlyincreasedinvolumewhenthathuge,thick-fingeredhanddraggedupherinnerthighandhegrippedherpussyroughly,massagingitwhileheheldherinthrallwithsplinteringeyecontact.“Nearlyhadthisthingmonthsago.I’vebeenhatingmyselfforblowingmyshot.”
Herteethwereliterallychattering.“Youcantakeyourshotrightnow.”
“No,”hegrittedout,partingherfleshwithamiddlefingerandenteringhersoswiftlywiththatsingledigitthatshescreamed,goinguponhertoesasshewasplasteredtothewallbyhisstrongbody,hismouthflushwithhers.“No,Iwantalotmorefromyounow.”
“Please,please,please.”Theshowerspraycamefromoverhisshoulderandrainedwaterdownbetweenthem,thefallofwarmmoisturepartingaroundhishandwhereitstartedtoworkher,pumpingthatfingerinandoutslowly,tooslowly,allwhilehewatchedherface.Heseemedtohuntforeverylittlereactionandexploitit,pressingdeeperwhenshewhimpered,pullingbackwhenshestartedtobreathehardandrockherhips.“Please,August.Ineedsomething.”
“You’llgetit.You’llalwaysgetitfromme.Justletmeenjoyyou.”Thejointofhisthumbpressedtoherwater-slickedclitandrubbed,makingherbackarchcompulsivelyoffthewall,starsdancinginfrontofhereyes.“JesusChrist.Youaresofuckinggorgeous,Natalie.Betyourubexpensivelotionandshitalloveryourselftwiceadaytolookso…”Helickedher.Fromthecurveofhershoulderallthewayupthesideofherneckandjawline,allwhilepressinghisfingerhighanddeep.“Damn.Damn,it’ssosmooth.You’dslideallovermelikeafuckingdream,wouldn’tyou,princess?”
Shecouldn’ttakethedirtytalkanymore.Itwasoverwhelmingher,alongwithhistouch,whichshedefinitelyhadn’texpectedtobeso…skilled.Andthesuddenproofthathe’ddefinitelydonethisbeforemadeherirrationallyannoyed.Tothepointthatwhenhestampedhismouthdownoverhers,shebitdownonhisbottomlipandpulledhard.“You’retoogoodatthis,”shesaidonanexpulsionofbreath.Then,onaquieterbreath,“Iloveit.ButIhateit.”
Watchingherwithafurrowedbrow,heslippedhismiddlefingerout,joineditwithhisringfingerandrubbedherclit,slowlyatfirst,thenwithmorepressure.Faster.LeadingtoanembarrassinglywhinymoanfromNataliethatshesworecamefromsomeoneorsomewhereelse.“Tellmewhyyouhatemebeinggoodatthis,”saidAugust,hislipsgrazinghers,sidetoside.“AndI’llkeepthisupuntilyourkneesbuckle.”
“Idon’twantm-mykneestobuckle.”
“Yes,youdo.”Faster.OhmyGod.“YouknowI’mgoingtocatchyou.”
“DoI?”shewhimpered.
Histeethsnappedatherjaw.“Yes.”
Dammit.Shedidknowthat.Whydidsheknowthat?Thereasonwasn’tclear,nothingwasclearrightnowsavethefactthatafusehadbeenlit,thefireracingacrossthegroundtowardthepowderkegthatwasNatalie’sbody.Goingtoblow,goingtoexplode.
Whenthattouchslowedslightly,shecriedout.
“Youwantmetokeepgoing,don’tyou?”heasked,mouthbusyonherneck
“StopandI’llkillyou.”
Thosetwofingersdelvedinsideher,twisteddeep,andpushedhigh.“Answerme,then,Natalie,”hegrowledagainsthermouthwhileshesilentlyscreamed,eyesblind,releaseshakingtheexitgates.“It’sonlysupposedtobeyouandme.That’swhyyou’rethrownoffbymyknowinghowtotouchawoman.Thatright?”
Yes.Wasthisjealousy?Shecouldn’tremember.Hadn’tfeltitsincehighschool.Notaboutanythingthatwasn’tjobrelated,atleast.“I’mnotadmittingthatoutloud.”
“Themurderinyoureyesdiditforyou.”Withtheirbreathingshallowandsteamcloudingeverycorneroftheshowerstall,bodiesglossywithcondensation,Augustaddedathirdfinger.Heswallowedhermoanwithakiss,workinghigh,higher,untilhefoundthis…thisplacethatshewaspositivehadneverbeensosensitive,andhetoyedwithitusingthepadsofhisbluntfingers.Andohno,ohno.Thepalmofhishandpresseddownonherclit,tighter,tighter,untilherbuttwasflattenedagainsttheshowerwall.“Ican’tevenfuckingrememberwhatit’sliketowantanythingbutthispussy,princess.Yours.Idon’tlookrightorleft.Noexceptions.Gotthat?”
Thatsoundeddangerouslyclosetoavowoffaithfulness—andshereallyshouldn’thavebeenrelievedorgratifiedtohearit.Notinthissetting.Aloneinhisshower,wheretheyweretheonlyonestowitnessit.Thatmadetheexchangereal.Notafarce.Furthermore,sheshouldn’tbeliftingupontohertoesandsealingtheirmouthstogether,kissinghimasiftorewardhim,thosefingerssimulatingsexbetweenherthighs.Pickingupthepacealongwiththeirkissuntilshecouldnolongerconcentrateonbothandherheadfellbackonhershoulders,agaspofhisnametrippingoverherlipsastheorgasmcrested—
“August,Jesus.Yes.Yes.”
“Goodgirl.I’vegotyou.”
Gother?Right.Becauseherkneeshadbuckled,aspredicted,andshedidn’tevenhavetheroomtobemiffedorembarrassedaboutthebracingleftarmhe’dcircledaroundherbacktokeepherupright.Shewastoobusyshakingthroughthemostintenseorgasminrecentmemory.Andheknewhowtogetherthroughit.Knewtostopadvancingandholdfirm,wedginghisrightpalmtighttoher
Sohot.Hisbeingsoturnedonbyherpleasurewassostupidlyhot.
Andunexpected.
Thiswholeencounter—andAugusthimself—wasturningouttobeunexpected.
AssoonasNatalie’sclimaxstartedtocool,heropenmouthonhisshoulderbecamescarilyintimate.Thelazycoastingofhislipsoverhertempleandintoherhairwasdecidedly…affectionate?
Whoa.Whathadjusttakenplacehere?GettingphysicalwithAugustwasnotpartoftheplan.Theyweresupposedtobeinafakerelationship.
Buttheirwet,tangledlimbsfeltthefurthestthingfromfake.
Theyweregettingmarriedsoshecouldsecurehertrustfund.Sohecouldgetabankloanandputittowardasecondattempttorunthisfledglingwinery.Theyweredoingthisformoney.Whatdiditmeaniftheysealedtheirunionwhileinanactualrelationship?Didthatmakethemarriagereal?Legitimate?
AtruelovematchbetweenherandAugustCates.
Thatwasthemostinsanepossibilityshe’deverheard.
Forone,shehadtogetbacktoNewYork.Herlifewasonpauseuntilshepickedupthebrokenpiecesofwhatshe’dbuilt.Two,theywouldendupmurderingeachother.
Andthree,shewasfreshfrombeingbootedbyherfiancéwithoutwarning,literallyleftoutonthecurblikeyesterday’strash.Theideaofopeningherselfuptothismanasafollow-up?Thismanwhomadeasportoutofpinpointingherflaws?No.Shemightaswellhandhimherdiaryandamegaphone.
Allright,theywerephysicallyattractedtoeachother.Notiptoeingaroundthatfact.
She’dgottenitoutofhersystem,right?
Yes…
Yes.
Totally.
Unfortunately,Augustwasstillhardagainstherbelly,hismouthmovingdangerouslyclosetohersagain.Hiseyescloudedwithneed.Ifhekissedher,she’dsinkdownagainandforgetthecommonsensepeptalkshe’djustgivenherself.Therecouldbenohavingacrushonherphonyhusband.Thatwouldonlyleadtoentanglements.OnesthatcouldpotentiallykeepherinSt.Helena,whereshewouldnever,everfeellikemorethananineptandunwantedteenager.
SheneededtogetthelustoutofAugust’ssystem,too,though,didn’tshe?
Otherwisetheitchscratchingwouldbeone-sided.Thereboundwouldbeleft…unbound.
He’dhavesomethingtoholdoverher.
Goinguponhertoes,sheslantedtheirmouthstogether,herfingertipsskatingdownhisstomach—andonceagain,hetrappedherwristattheverylastsecond.“Youdon’thaveasmuchofapokerfaceasyouthinkyoudo,”heraspedagainsthermouth.“I’dratherleavemycockhardthanletyoustrokeitjusttoreturnthefavor.”
Afingerofpanicsweptthroughhermiddle.Partlybecausethismanseriouslydidn’tlethergetawaywithanything,whichmadeherfeelnakedinmorewaysthanone.Andpartlybecause…therewasagenuineurgencyinsidehertogivehimthesamepleasurehe’dprovidedforher.“Isn’treturningfavorshowsexworks?”
Heshookhishead.“That’snothowit’sgoingtoworkwithus.”
“Us?”Thatpanicwasgoingofflikefireworksnow.She’dreallymuddiedthewatershere.Especiallyconsideringthattraitorouslittlepopofsatisfactionshegotovertheword“us.”Youneedtostop.“Thisisamarriageinnameonly,mydude.”
Augustvisiblyjudgedhersteadinessbeforeremovinghisarmfromaroundherwaist,slappingthatnewlyfreedhandontothetileaboveherhead.“Guessyouweren’tthinkingaboutthatwhenyouclimbedintomyshowerinnothingbutpanties.”
“Don’tworry,itwon’thappenagain.”
Drippingwet,hairstucktothesideofherface,Nataliepropelledherselfoutfrombehindthecurtainandstartedsnatchingclothesupoffthefloor.
“Holdup.Canwerewindasecond?”Augustsaidbehindher,cursingunderhisbreath.“I’mnotgoodatarguingwhilemydickisineggplantform.Bytheway,thiswasneveraproblemuntilImetyou.Mywholefuckingsystemisoutofwhack.”Hewhippedatowelofftherackandwrappeditaroundhiswaist,thenrakedfrustratedhandsthroughhishair.“Ijust…Look.I’malittletouchyabout…pity.BeingpitiedoverSamdying.Youknow?Ihaveahardtimeacceptingitfromanyone.Butespeciallyyou.”
Nataliepausedintheactoffasteningherbra.“Whyespeciallyme?”
“Idon’tknow.IgrewupworkingforeverythingIhad.Iwastaughttobeproudofmakingendsmeet.Grinding.TheaffluentNapacrowdlooksdownonthat.”
“AndI’magreatbigrepresentationofthisplacetoyou.”
Hedraggedahanddownhisface.“Shit.Ineedtoshutupuntilthereissomebloodbackinmyfuckinghead.Ijustkeepmakingthisworse.”
“YouthinkIcan’tgrind?YouthinkIcan’tworkhard?”Stop,girl.Shereallyneededtoquittalking.Shehadagoalandwasworkingonsecuringthemeanstoachievethatgoal.Therewasnoroomforsidetripsorrabbitholes.Still,she’dhadituptohereyeballsinimplicationsfromthismanthatshewasapamperedprincesswhodidn’tknowthevalueofaday’swork.EspeciallyrightontheheelsofthatphonecallwithDalton.“IcouldturnZelnickCellarintoanoperationalwinerywithadecentvintagewithonehandtiedbehindmyback.”
Hismusclesstiffened.“Look,theloanisonething.Butthehands-onstuff?That’smine.ForSam.Ididn’taskforyourhelpmakinghiswine.”Thenheaddedquietly,almostcontritely,“Please.Juststayoutofthebarn.Okay?”
Outofeverythingtheyarguedabout,whydidhisrejectingheraidseemtohitthebull’s-eye?
“IneedtobeanofficialemployeeatZelnickCellartofulfilltheotherconditionofmytrustfund,”sheremindedhim,tryingtokeepthestingofhisdenialoutofhervoice.“Andemployingme,havingmynametiedtoyourwine,helpsgetyoualoan.Idon’tlikebeingamemberofthisdysfunctionalteamanymorethanyoudo,butlet’snotgothroughthisfornothing.Usemyknowledgeaswell.”Shegavehimameaningfullook,yetsheknewheprobablywouldn’tunderstandtheimportanceofherbeingallowedtohelp.“Iwon’taskagain,August.Idon’tliketorepeatmyself.”
“Sureaboutthat?You’vecalledmeadumbassatleastninety-fourtimes.”
Yup.Herwordshadgoneinoneearandouttheother.
“Thereareexceptionstoeveryrule.”
“Good.Especiallyifthereisaruleagainstkissingmyfakewife.”
“Asithappens,thereis.”
Hisjawflexed.“Can’twaittobreakit.”
“I’llbreakyouruglynosebeforethathappens,”shesnorted,steppingoutofthebathroomintothehallway,sandalscradledtoherchest.
“Wait.Ithoughtweweregoingtotalkaboutweddingstuff,”Augustboomed,followingbehindher,hisgiant,wetfeetslappingonthefloorboards.“WhattimearewemeetingatthecourthouseonSaturday?”
“We’renot.”
“What?”Shelookedbackoverhershouldertofindhimstricken.“Justlikethat,thewholethingisoff?Iblewit?”
Everyonceinawhile,acommentslippedthroughthecracksthatmadeherveryawarethathewaslovablejustunderthesurface.Whycouldn’thekeepthatfacthidden?Itmadeherwanttoturnandwalkintohisstupidmusculararmsandwhackhimintheheadwithanencyclopediaattheexactsametime.
And,dammit,herangerathimtookadrasticnosedive.
Nataliepickedupspeed,headingtowardthedoor.“Relax,we’restillgettingmarried.”Shestopped.“Ididwanttogetyourthoughtsonthetimeline.Consideringeveryoneknowsaboutourpublicfightandsubsequentengagement,theyprobablyassumeit’sgoingtobevolatileandflameoutfast.Onemonthshouldbeenoughtimetoachieveourgoalsbefore…”
Augustnarrowedhiseyes.“Beforewhat?”
“Beforeweendit,ofcourse.Legally.”Hesaidnothing.“Areweagreedononemonth?”
Whenheonlyremainedsilent,shehadnochoicebuttoaccepthislackofargumentasayes.Whatelsecouldhepossiblysay?Hethoughttheyshouldstaymarriedlonger?
“So,um.Mymotherhastakentheleadonplanning.That’smainlywhatIcameheretotellyou.Traditionandkeepingupappearances,thosethingsareimportanttoher.It’sprobablygoingtobethesnobbiesteventthistownhaseverseen.Swansandharpsandcanapésongildedplatters.You’llneedtorentatux.”Shepausedwithherhandonthedoor.“Iunderstandifyouhavesecondthoughts.”
Exactlyfivesecondstickedby.“IwantaDJ.Myonlyrequestisthesong‘BrickHouse.’”
“OhmyGod.”Refusingtoacknowledgeherrelief,sheyankedopenthedoor,alaughburstingoutofheronthewaydownthesteps.“Why?”
Hegrinned.“You’llsee.”
Nataliehaltedbesidehercar,stoppedinhertracksbythesightofAuguststandinginthesunshineinatowel,lightplayingoverhisMountRushmoreofchestmuscles—andaveryprominenterectiontentingthewhiteterrycloth.Whatstruckhermostwashowunabashedhewas.Hedidn’tmakeasingleattempttohideit.“YestotheDJ.Hellnotothesong,”shemanaged,mouthdry,pullingopenthedriver’s-sidedoorwithalittletoomuchforce.
“Natalie,”hecalled,beforeshecouldclimbin.
“Yes?”sherespondedovertheroofofthecar.
“Canwewritejointshowersintoourvows?”
“No.Andhonestly,whywouldyouwantthat?”Pointedly,shenoddedathislap.“Didn’texactlyworkoutforyou.”
Hebracedhishandsonthedoorframeoverhishead.“You’releavingmyplacewithsmearedlipstickandbarefeet.I’lltakeahundredmoreshowersjustlikeit.”
“Jackass,”shemuttered,climbingintothecarandslammingthedoor.
Butforsomestupidreason,shewassmilingasshedroveaway.
ChapterTen
ThelastpersonAugustexpectedtoseewhenheopenedhisfrontdoorthenextmorningwasCorinneVos.Convincedshewasafigmentofhisimagination,heblinkedseveraltimesandrubbedhiseyes,buttheresheremained.Armscrossed,featurespinched,blockinghispathtotheoutdoorworkoutareahe’dbuiltbehindthebarn.
HesearchedherfaceforsimilaritiestoNatalieandfoundnone.MaybetherewasaglimmerofNatalie’slive-wirequalitydeepinthegoldendepthsofthematriarch’seyes,butithadbeensmotheredinjudgment.
“Howareyouthisfinemorning,Mr.Cates?”
Goodquestion.Theword“stunned”cametomind.
He’dspentalotofthenightpacing,wonderingifhe’ddonetherightthingbyacceptingthetwo-hundred-thousand-dollarinvestmentfromhisCO.Hedidn’twanttodeprivethemanofthechancetosupporthislateson’sdream.God,no.ButAugustwasalsopainfullyawarethatacceptingthemoneyfromhisCOmeant…henolongerneededasmallbusinessloanfromthebank.Whichmeanthetechnicallydidn’tneedtomarryNatalie.
Whenhemarriedher,itwouldbepurelysoshecouldgethertrustfund.
Howwouldshefeelaboutthatifsheknew?
Notthrilled,August’sguttoldhim.She’dprobablyratherchangeMenace’slitterboxthanbeindebtedtohim.Yeah.Ifhetoldherabouttheinvestment,shewouldwalk—andhereallydidn’twantNataliebitingoffhernosetospiteherface.Sheneededthattrustfund.Hewantedtohelp.Andhell,whatifshemarriedsomeoneelseinstead?Someonewhowouldbenefitfromherfamily’sinfluence?
Firesingedthewallsofhisthroat.
Maybeinthiscase,somethingswerebetterleftunsaid?
Atleastuntilthetimingwasright.
“I’mdoingallright,”hefinallyanswered.“You?”
“I’maswellascanbeexpected,Isuppose,”Corinneclipped,dragginghimoutofhisworryspiral.
“Wouldyouliketocomein?”
“No.”Shelookedpasthim,briefly.“I’mfineouthere,thankyou.”
Ofcourseshedidn’twanttocomeinsideforcoffee.Thiswomanprobablyneversteppedinsideanywherethatdidn’thaveafullstaffand—lestweforget—originalvintagefixtures.Withanexhaleintothecoldmorningair,shegesturedtothebarn.“Gettinganearlystartonproduction?Wecantalkwhileyouwork.”
“Actually,no.Iwon’tgetstarteduntillatertoday.Ihaveamakeshiftgymbehindthebarn.”Hejerkedhischinstraightahead,thoughitwasn’tvisiblefromtheirvantagepoint.“That’swhereIstartmymornings.”
“Anoutdoorgymonvineyardgrounds.Really.”Sheblinkedapproximatelysixhundredtimes.“Well,don’tletmekeepyoufromyourunorthodoxroutine.”
Hecouldn’texactlyholdaconversationwhilepushingamassivetireendoverend,soheshookhisheadandmimickedherstance,crossinghisarmsandleaningbackagainsttheporchrail.“ThisisaboutNatalie.”
“Yes.”Shestudiedhimforalongmoment.“Iknowwhatyoumustthinkofme.ThatI’mstuffyandcontrollingand…well,toputitplainly,I’msureyouthinkI’mabitch.”
“I’mnotgoingtopretendIlikedthewayyouspoketomy…toNatalie.ButIdon’tknowyouwellenoughtosaythat,Mrs.Vos.”
“YouwouldthinkI’mabitch,let’sbehonest.PerhapsIam.”Shepaused,droppedhercrossedarmsinfavoroffoldingherhandsatherwaist.“Butthatdoesn’tmeanIdon’twantwhatisbestformychildren.Imighthaveanoddwayofshowingit,buttheirhappinessisnosmallthingtome.Especiallysincethey’vecomehome,I…”Sheclearedherthroatandliftedherchin.“Well.I’vebecomeslightlymorevigilantwhenitcomestoourrelationships.Unfortunately,thedamageisnotalwayseasytoreverse.Forinstance,it’sveryhardtotakebackyearsofcriticism—whatIthoughtwastheconstructivekind—insteadofjustshowing…support.ButI’mtryingtodothatwithNatalie…inmyownway.”
DiscussingNataliewithouthertheretoanswerforherselffeltdisloyalandhedidn’tlikeit.Aweightsatheavieronhischestthelongershespoke.“Whichwayisthat?”
Abeatpassed.“IguessI’mstillfiguringitout.”Shesmoothedhershirtsleeve.“Idon’treallyhaveanexampletopullfrom.”
Augustsaidnothing.
“IalwaysthoughtshewouldfindherpurposefarawayfromNapa.Shedidforawhile.Thenagain,thisplace,myfamily,becamemyanchorwhenIwasNatalie’sage.Maybesheneedstobehere.Maybesheneedstobeshownthatrootsaren’talwaysrippedoutaseasilyastheywereinNewYork.Familyonesarestronger.”
Damn.
WhatexactlywasthecatalystforherleavingNewYork?
Ittookeverythinginsidehimnottopry,buthewouldn’tdigupastorythatNataliewasn’treadytotell.Hethoughtofherinthebathroom,listeningtohimexplainaboutSam.Howshe’dcometohimofferingcomfort.Whatifhegotthechancetodothesameforher?He’dgiveherwhateversheneeded,emotionally,physically.Noquestionsasked.
Maybesheneedstobeshownthatrootsaren’talwaysrippedoutaseasilyastheywereinNewYork.ThosewordsoccupiedeveryinchofspacebetweenhimandCorinne.
“Imightnotbeveryadeptatshowingaffection,butIamhere.Sheknewshecouldcomehometome.Iampermanentlyplantedinherlifeandmyrootsrundeep.Eventuallyshe’llrealizethatnoteveryoneripsouttheirrootsandleaves.Butitwouldseemtomethatafakemarriagewithnoactualcommitmentvaluewouldhavetheoppositeeffect.”
August’spulsegalloped.He’dusedallofhisbrainpoweryesterdaytryingtogettothebottomofNatalie’salcoholhang-ups,buthewouldtryminingformore.“Ifyoucouldtellmeexactlywhatyoucametosay,Mrs.Vos,itwouldbemuchappreciated,”hesaidfinally.
Sheinclinedherhead.“Ishouldputastoptothisrightnow.Thisout-of-the-blueweddingandinevitablequicksplithasthepotentialtoembarrassmyfamilyandthereputationI’veworkedsohardtocarrythroughbadtimesandgood—andtherehavebeentimesthatreputationisallwehad.Afarcelikethisonethreatenstomakeusapunchline.”Shetappedafingeragainstthebackofherhand.“I’msupposedtopaythecatererstoday.ButbeforeIspendafortuneoncrabrangoon…whatwouldyousayifIofferedyouacertainsumofmoneytoleaveandnevercomeback?”
“I’dsayburnit.”Hesaiditwithoutathought.Didn’tneedone.“Andhellyeahonthecrab.”
“SomehowIknewyou’dtellmewhattodowithmymoney.”Hereyesnarrowedslightly.“Isaw…something.Inthewayyouactedtowardmydaughtertheothernightonthetrain.Ican’treallyputmyfingeronwhatitwas.Perhaps…protectingyourinvestment?Afterall,beingmarriedtoaVoswillearnthisplacealotofattention.”Auguststartedtospeakup,notsureexactlywhatwouldcomeoutofhismouth,onlythathetookseriousobjectiontoNataliebeingreferredtoasaninvestment.ButCorinneheldupahandbeforehecouldspeak.“Somehowthattheorydidn’tstick.SoI’vecomeheretoaskyouonething.Ifyoucangivemeasatisfyinganswer,Iwillpaythecaterersandsmilemywaythroughyourweddingvows.”
“Askmeanything,”Augustsaid,lookingherdeadintheeye.Bringiton.He’doncewalkednineteenmilesinthepitch-blackwithasnakebite.Hiscommandingofficermighthavebeencordialduringhisrecentvisittothevineyard,buthe’donceaskedAugustifhehadapileofshitforbrains.Therewasn’taquestiononearththatcouldscarehim.
“Doyouhavegenuinefeelingsformydaughter?”
Allright,maybethatone.
DidhehavefeelingsforNatalie?
Augustalmostlaughed.
Honestly,heshouldhavejustsaidyes.Thatwouldhavebeenmorethanenough.Itwouldhavebeentrue—andtherewouldn’tbeanymistakingthat.Butforsomereason—andthisprobablyhadalottodowiththefuckingfeelingsthemselves—hewantedthiswomantoapproveofhim,fakeson-in-lawornot.Godhelphim,inthismoment,hedidn’twantthearrangementtobephony.Hewanted,maybeneeded,someonetotellhimhewasworthyofNatalie.
“I’velostcountofthefeelingsIhaveforyourdaughter.Pardonmeforsayingthis,butlustisreallyhighonthatlist.”Sherolledhereyes,soherushedtocontinue.“Butthat’sonlythebeginning,really.I,uh…Iworryabouther.Youknow?”Thatconfessionrippedaseamopenandtherestjustcamepouringout.“SometimesshelookssadandIgoadherintoafightjusttogetthekaleidoscopeturninginhereyesagain.Andwhenitcomesback,it’saloteasierformetoconcentrate.I’mnotgoingtolie,sometimessheirritatesme,butwaymoreoften,I’mjusttryingnottolaugh.She’sreallygoddamnfunny.Like,thegirlcanverballycutmyballsoffandIrespectthat,evenwhenI’mpissed.Doesthatmakesense?”Corinne’sfaceremainedtotallyblank,exceptforaneyebrowthatwasslowlycreepinghigher.“Idon’tknowwhatelsetosayexcept…ifsomeonehurther,Iwouldgoballistic,ma’am.Myheadacheseventhinkingaboutit.I’mactuallyafraidtofindoutwhathappenedinNewYork,because…”I’vemanagedtoholdmycardsprettyclosetothevest,butifIfindoutsomeonewrongedher,she’sgoingtoknowI’mthefurthestthingfromcasualwhenitcomestoher.“LikeIsaid,Idon’tlikeherbeingsad.I’dratherhaveherangryandI’mprettygoodatmakingthathappen.I’dalsoreallylikehertobehappywithmemoreoftenthanshe’sannoyed.I’d…loveit,actually.HappyNatalieisamissionIwanttogoonandnevercomeback.HaveIgottenofftrackhere?”
Forlongseconds,therewasnothingbutthesoundofthewind.“IthinkIgotwhatIcamefor.”
Jesus,thatsoundedominous.“Isthatagoodorbadthing?”
“Thatremainstobeseen.”
“Areyoualwaysthiscryptic?”Wasthataflashofasmile?Yeah,hethoughtitwas.Forthatbrieflittlewindowoftime,hecouldseearesemblancetoNatalieandhisheartclunked.“You’renotgoingtotrytostopthewedding,right?”
Heheldhisbreathafteraskingthatquestion.“Idon’tknow,”shesaid,turningandglidingaway.BacktowardhersilverLexus.“AmI?”
“I’mstartingtoseewhereNataliegetshervenom.”
Corinnepausedatthedriver’sside,lookingstartled.Andalittlepleased?“Thankyou.”
Augustshookhisheaduntilhisfuturemother-in-lawhaddrivenaway.
Hepushedthetirealotlongerthanusualthatmorning.
***
“Welcometoyourofficiallyunofficialbacheloretteparty.”
NataliestaredatHallie,tryingtomakesenseofthewordsthatwerecomingoutofhermouth.She’djustwalkedintoabarnamedJed’sthatwasmorethanalittleoutoftheway—offGrapevineWayandagoodthreeblocksdownasidestreet.Untilamomentago,whenshe’dstoppedinfrontoftherusticlodgefacadeanddouble-checkedtheaddress,shewasn’tawarethisplaceexisted.
BeforeshecouldrespondtoHallie,aloudthudechoedthroughthebuzzingestablishment,loudenoughtomakeherjumpandspinaround.“MyGod.Isthatmanthrowinganaxe?”
“Yes.”Hallieclappedherhandstogether.“It’sanaxe-throwingbar.I’vebeendyingtocomehereandthiswastheperfectexcuse.”SheloopedherarmwithNatalie’sandtuggedherthroughthethrongofpeopleinjeans,T-shirts,andflip-flops,makingNataliefeelutterlyridiculousinherblacksilktunicdressandstuddedgladiatorsandals.“MyfriendLaviniagotusatableinbackwhereit’ssemi-quietsowecangooverthedetailsforSaturday,akathebigday!”
“Great,”Nataliesaid.“I’mnotthrowinganaxe.”
“You’llchangeyourmindafteradrinkortwo.”
“Yes,lowermyinhibitions,thenhandmeaweapon.Whatcouldgowrong?”
BeforeHalliecouldanswer,awomansteppedintoherpathandenfoldedherinahug,thescentofsugarandchocolatewaftingoffherclothingwithsuchpotencythatNatalie’stastebudstingled.“Well,ifitisn’tthefuturebride’erself,”croonedthewomaninathickBritishaccent.“Iwantedtorentstrippers,butitseemswe’llbegettingsplitinhalfbyaxes,instead.”
Nataliecouldn’thelpbutlaughatthat.“Isupposebothwouldhavebeentoodangerous?”
Thewomantossedbackherblondhair.“Wecan’thavewangsgettingchoppedoff,darling.It’sbadluckbeforeawedding.”
Hallieusheredthembothtoatableinthecorner.“Natalie,IwouldintroduceyoutoLavinia,butIthinkyou’vejustbeenthoroughlyacquainted.”
“Speakingofwangs…”Laviniacontinued,droppingintoherchairacrossfromNatalie,“it’snicenottohaveanyaroundforonce.Fuckoff,lads.It’sladiesnight.”
“Howdidyoupryyourselfawayfrommybrother?”NatalieaskedHallie,swallowingasmile.
“Actually,heiskidnappingAugustaswespeak.”
“August?”Nataliebreathed.Shehadn’tseenhimintwodays.NotsincetheShower.He’dtextedheronce,askingforguidanceonhistuxedorental.“ShouldIgowithpurpleorpowderblue?”he’dasked.Towhichshe’dreplied,“Getonewithabibforthoseinevitablespillsatdinnertime,”accompaniedbyababyemoji.He’dalsosentamemeaboutshotgunweddingsthatdepictedamanstandingbesideawomanatthealtarwithagunbarrelpressedtohisback.
Acaseofwifeordeathreadthecaption.
Ridiculous.Still…
Whydidhearinghisnamemakeherfeelawakeforthefirsttimeindays?
Bothwomenwerestaringather.“Uh…”Nataliecrossedherlegshastily.“IsitevenpossibletokidnapaNavySEAL?”
“Maybehe’llgowillinglywhenhefindsoutit’shisimpromptubachelor…”Halliehedged.“Well,Iwouldsayparty,but…”
“Butit’smybrotherandthey’llprobablyjustwatchJeopardy!andeathamsandwiches?”
“Julianislearningtobemoreadventurous,”Halliesaid,flushingclearuptohertemples.“Hedidn’tmentionwheretheyweregoing,butI’mguessingsomewherequietwhereJuliancanreadAugusttheriotact.”
Nataliefrowned.“Theriotact?”
“Youknow…”Halliewavedatthewaitress.“HurtmysisterandI’llkillyou.”
“Right.”Nataliesnorted.“ThatsoundslikeJulian.”
“Doesn’tit?”Halliesighed,obviouslymissingNatalie’ssarcasm.
Forthelastfouryears,she’dbarelyspokentoherbrother.Notwhenshe’dgottenengagedtoMorrison.Ormadepartneratthefirm.JusttheobligatorybirthdayandChristmascallandnothingmore.Hedidn’tevenheartherInstagramposts.Aschildren,he’dbeentheonetoconsoleher,defendherfromunwantedmaleattentionatschool—inhisalbeitsharpandemotionlessmanner.Butwhenshe’demergedfromrehabatseventeen,anembarrassmenttotheVosnamewhilehewasalreadythrivingatStanford,she’dsortofassumedhislackofcontactwashiswayofshowingdisapproval.Orworse,thathewasn’tawareofheratall.
Nomatterwhatshedid,thereverseofthatdisapprovalnevercame,fromJulianorherparents.Notaftershe’dimprovedhergradesandgottenintoCornell.Notaftershe’dclimbedherwayuptheladderintheboy’sclubthatwasNewYorkfinanceorjointlypurchasedhercondowithMorrisononCentralParkSouth.IthadtakenthemaccidentallysharingtheguesthousetogethertomakeherrealizeJulianhadbeendealingwithhisownissuesthatwholetime.Itdidn’texcusehissilence,butsheunderstoodhimmorenow.
I’mgladyou’rehere.
Shecouldstillhearthoseclippedwordscomingfromherbrotherasthey’dwalkedupthepathtowardthemainhouseonenightjustoveramonthago.ThenightshemetAugustattheWineDownfestival,actually.Untilthen,shehadn’trealizedexactlyhowstarvedshe’dbeenforanyformofaffectionfromherfamily.HearingthatJulianhadgivenuphisThursdaynightinordertogetbetteracquaintedwithAugust…meantsomething.Itmeantalot.
Evenifhe’dbeenbulliedintoitbyhisgirlfriend.
Forthenexthour,theywentoverweddingplans.AtCorinne’sbehest,NatalieandAugustwouldbemarriedinthefrontyardofthemainhouse,overlookingthevineyard,atsunset.Adreamwedding,really,ifonlyitwerereal.Halliehadoutdoneherselfwiththeflowerarrangements,creatingatastefulcolorschemeofcreamandcrimsonwithpopsofblackribbon,somehowgraspingNatalie’sstylewithoutherhavingtosayaword.Corinnehadtakenchargeoftheceremonyarrangementsandatentforthereceptionwasalreadyintheprocessofbeingerectedanddeckedout.Natalie’sonlyrequesthadbeen“Small,please,”andithadobviouslybeenvetoed.
Hallieshuffledsomepaperworkaround.“Ifthereareanyspecificsongsyou’dliketheDJtoplay—”
“Anythingbut‘BrickHouse.’Please.”
“Ananti-playlist,”Laviniachimedin,herfourthmartinihoistedintheair.“Iloveit.Canwepleaseadd‘MamboNo.5’?Thereisn’tapersonalivethatlooksgooddancingtothatsong.WeneedfuckingAbba—andthat’sit,really.Abba.”
“FuckingAbba.Check,”Halliechirped,makinganote.“IalsoneedtoknowwhichsongyouandAugustwouldliketodanceto.”
Forsomereason,herwholebodyflushedhot.
DancingwithAugustwhileheheldherclose.
Infrontofeveryone.
Wouldsheevenhavetofakeherenjoymentofthat?
“Howabout‘You’reSoVain’?”
Hallie’snosewrinkled.“ByCarlySimon?”
“Theveryone.”Satisfiedwithherchoice,alreadypicturingthelookonhisface,Nataliesmiledaroundtherimofherglassonthenextsip.Butthecoldliquiddidn’tmakeitdownherthroat,becausethedooropenedandAuguststrodeinwithJulian.
Wow.Thewholeplacewentsilent.Ormaybethesudden,rapidpoundingofherheartwasdrowningouttheshufflingchairsandlaughter?Herbrotherbyhimselfwouldhavecausedastirbywalkingintoanybar.Hecarriedhimselflikenobilityandlookedperpetuallyannoyed—andyeah,shesupposedhewasprettydarnhandsome.
ButAugust.
HeenteredJed’swithanairofdangerthatshe’dneverquitenoticedbefore.Maybethefirstnighttheymet,whenshe’dclockedthenavytatanddeemedhimthestrong,capable,heroictype.Eversincethen,however,he’dmoreorlessbecometheloudmouthgoofballtowhomshewasnursingadestructiveattraction.Sheshouldhavefounditexasperatingthathewalkedintothebarasiftryingtoestablishhimselfasthealpha.Allswaggeringandhugeandscanningtheplacefortrouble—andtheexits.Oh.That’sright.You’remarryingaSEAL.
Therehadtobetwodozenwomeninthebar,buthisgazedidn’tstoponanyofthem.
Notuntilitlandedonher.
Oh,thiswasbad.
Shewastwococktailsdeepandthememoryofhisknowingfingerswastoofresh.
Also,dammit.Somethingakintojoyleaptinsideherathisappearance.Asifasuppressedpartofherwashappytoseethejerk.
“Ican’tbelievehepickedthesamebarasme.Anaxe-throwingbar,”HalliemurmuredtoNatalie’sleft.“Nexthe’llbegettinghisseptumpiercedandvaping.”
“Well,I’mnotabouttobethefifthwheel.”Laviniadrainedherdrinkandplonkedtheemptyglassonthetable.“Thehusbandisduehisbimonthlyshaganyway.”Shesalutedthemonherwaytowardthedoor,callingoverthenoise,“IwillseeyouattheweddingonSaturday.I’llbetheonlyoneinafascinator,sinceyouAmericansrefusetorespecttheirmajesty.”
“Bye,Lavinia,”Halliecalled,drawingJulian’snotice.
Julian’seyeswidenedslightlyandhegravitatedtowardHallie,asifentranced,asmilecurvinghismouth.Asmuchaslisteningtoherbrotherandhisgirlfriendslamtheheadboardintothewalleverymorninghadscarredherforlife,Nataliecouldadmittoswooningjustalittleatthestraight-edgedprofessor’sreactiontospottingthetroublemakergardener.ButasJulianandHalliereunitedwithquietmurmurstoherleft,shecouldseeonlyAugust.Obviously.Hisheadalmostbrushedthelowpendantlightthathungfromtheceiling.
Onedidnotmissabeingsoenormous
Infact,alotofwomeninJed’swerehavingthesameproblem.
Somewomenreallywentforthewholemuscle-boundherothing,apparently.
Natalietriednottocare.Shereallydid.ButwhenayoungwomanfannedherselfinNatalie’speriphery,shefoundherselfpushingupoutofherchairandplantingoneonAugust’ssurprisedmouth.“Hi,”shesaidbrightly,brushingbackherhair.“You’rehere.”
“Yeah.”Hisgazeping-pongedbetweenhermouthandeyes.“Canwetrythatagain?Iwasn’texpectingit.Mytongueisreadynow.”
“Idon’tthinkthisisanappropriatetimefortongue.”
“Whenwillitbe?”
Nataliedroppedherheadbacksoshecouldgroanattheceiling.“LiterallythirtysecondsintothisconversationandI’mexhausted.”
“Youthinkyou’retirednow?”Hewinked.“Waituntilaftertonguetime.”
“Don’teversay‘tonguetime’again.OrIsweartoGod.”
Augustchuckled,hishandsettlingintothecurveofherwaistnaturally,brushinghisthumbupanddownherribcage,asifhediditallthetime.Shewantedtopushhishandaway,becausethatlighttouchwasstiffeninghernipples.Ironically,thatwasthesamereasonshewantedhishandtoremainexactlywhereitwas.“ShouldIbeworriedthatwe’reinabarwhereweaponryisreadilyavailable?”
“Yup.”Shechoppedtheairwithherhand.“Watchyourwang,Cates.”
Heshuddered,glancingoverhisshoulderlongenoughtowatchsomeonethrowanaxe—badly—missingthebull’s-eyebyagoodtwofeet.“You’renottheonlyoneIhavetoworryabout,princess.PrettysureJulianwouldburyoneofthoseinmybackatanysignofpremaritaldiscord.Benicetomeforonce,huh?I’mtooyoungtodie.”
“Say‘tonguetime’againandwe’lltestthattheory.”Awaitressstoppedinfrontofthemandhelduphernotepadwithasmile,promptingAugusttoorderapintofBlueMoon.“Whatdidmybrothersaytoyou?”
Natalietriedtobecasualaboutposingthequestion.Shemustnothavepulleditoffentirely,though,becauseAugustseemedtolookdeeper.“Usualbrotherstuff.”
“Idon’tknowwhatthatmeans.”
“Whynot?”
Sheshruggedashoulder.“Wehaven’tbeenclose.Imean,hedidn’tevenmeetMorrison,letalonethreatenhimwithaxeviolence.”
“GuessI’mspeciallikethat.”Augustblewoutanextra-longbreath.“I’mnotgoingtoaskabouttheex-fiancé.I’mnotgoingtoaskabouttheex-fiancé.”
“That’sprobablyforthebest.It’snotaprettystory.”
Alowrumblereachedherears.
Washe…growling?Why?
Nataliehadnoidea.Butasubjectchangeprobablywasn’ttheworstidea.Thelastpersonshewantedtotalkaboutwasherex-fiancé.“Soaboutthewedding—”
“Youknow,tonightisn’ttheonlytimeJulianhasthreatenedtokickmyass.Thefirstnightyouthrewadrinkinmyface?HetoldmeifIeverspoketoyoulikethatagain,he’dbreakmynose.It’skindofthereasonIlikethedude.”
“Really?”Shelaughed.Butherthroatwassuddenlysotight,thewordemergedalittlechoked.“Ididn’t…Ididn’tknowthat.”
“Yeah.”Herfuturehusbandwatchedherclosely.Likehecouldseeeverythinggoingoninherheadanditfascinatedhim.Probablysquirrelinginformationawayforlatersohecouldpullitoutanduseitduringtheirnextargument,which,atbest,wouldlikelytakeplaceinthenextfiveminutes.“Hecaresaboutyou,Natalie.Yourmomcaresaboutyou,too.Butit’slikeyou’realltryingtokeepyourloveasecret.Whyisthat?”
“Idon’tknow,”shesaid,halfdefensive,half…honest.Shedidn’tknow.“Didyourfamilygoaroundmakingbigprofessionsofloveallthetime?”
“Notexactly.Notallthetime.Butitwassaid.Inbirthdaycards.OrwhenmymotherhadtoomuchtodrinkonNewYear’sandgotsappyandstartedsharingmemories.”Heacceptedhisbeerfromthewaitressandtookalonggulp,staringataninvisiblespotoverhershoulder.“ButIthinkmyparentsputmoreimportanceontellingmetheywereproudofme.IworkedasummerjobsoIcouldaffordabeat-upHondaAccord.WhenIsignedthepaperwork,myparentssaidtheywereproudofme.WhenIjoinedthenavy,theywereproud.Lookingback,Ithinkmaybethatwasmoretheirwayofsaying‘Iloveyou’thantheactualwords.”
ItunnervedNataliehowmuchshewantedhimtocontinuetalkingabouthisfamily.Butwantingtoknowthebackgroundofthepersonshewasfakemarryingwashealthyandnormal,right?“Whichismoreimportanttoyou?Loveorpride?”
Hestudiedherface.“Youanswerfirst.”
Wasitcrazytobehavingthisdeepconversationinthemiddleofaloudbar?Probably.Forsomereasonitdidn’tfeelstrange,though.Therewerenoformalitieswiththisman.Justjumpinginwithbothfeetandbeingpulledalonginthecurrent.“Iguess…prideismoreimportanttome.Prideissomethingthatcanbekept.Loveistoooftensquanderedwhenyougiveitaway.Peoplemightbecarelesswithyourlove,buttheycan’ttouchyourpride.Orputitontheirshelflikeatrophy.It’syours.”
Somethingabouthisdemeanorchanged.Sortofaswellingofhisshouldersandliftingofhischest,asifhewaspreparingforafight.Onherbehalf?“Yourexwascarelesswithyou.”
Notaquestion,astatement.
Flusteredbyherwillingnesstosharesorecklesslywiththisman,shereachedforherdrinkandstaredintoitsdepths.Shetookasip,coolingherthroat,feelinghisraptattentiononherthewholetime.“Yourturn.Loveorpride?”
“Love,”heansweredwithouthesitation.
Whydidsomethinginsideherbloomlikearoseoverhisanswer?“Really?”Hervoicewasmoreuneventhanamiddleschooler’s.“YoujusttoldmethatwholestoryaboutHondaAccordsandyourfamilyvaluingpride.”
“Iknow.”Heappearedthoughtful.“Butloveseemsmoreimportantnow.”
Don’taskwhy.“Why?”
“BecauseIcantellyoudon’tbelieveinit.AndIwantyouto.”
Shedefinitelyshouldn’taskwhytothatquestion.Ortrytoreadbetweenthelinesforsomethingthatwasn’tthere.“That’sverygenerousofyou,”shesaidquickly,feelingarareramblecomingonandtooflusteredtoavoidit.“Imean,thetwoareverycloselyrelatedattheendoftheday,right?Lovemeanslettinggoofyourpride,afterall.”
Helookedatherasifshe’djustsaidsomethingreallysmart.“Holyshit.Doesit?”
“Idon’tknow,August.I’mnotanexpert.”Hecontinuedtostareather.Forsolongthatshestartedtofidget.“What?”
“IwanttoknowexactlywhathappenedinNewYork.”
Natalieshookherhead.“No.”
“Whoisupforsomeaxethrowing?”Halliesang,comingalongbesidethem,faceflushed,averycockylookingJuliansaunteringupbehindher.“Wecandoteams.Coupleversuscouple.”
“Screwthat.”NataliesetdownherdrinkandhauledHallieagainstherside.“Menversuswomen.”
AsmilethreatenedthecornersofAugust’smouth.“WhoamItoobject?”
“Battleofthesexes.”Hallieflexedabiceps.“Let’sdothis.”
JulianandHallielefttosecuretheirfoursomealane,leavingAugustandNataliesizingeachotherupinthemiddleofthegrowingcrowd.“Caretomakeitinteresting?”heasked.“NotthatIhaven’talreadywonjustgettingtowatchyouthrowanaxeinthatshort-assdress.”
“I’mgoingtogetyousexualharassmenttrainingasaweddinggift.”
Hisexpressionbrightened.“Arewegettingeachothergifts?”
Natalieopenedhermouthwiththeintentionofcallinghimabonehead—again—butthegrouptoherbacksurgedforwardwithoutwarningandshestumbled,pitchingforward.Augustmovedlikelightning,catchingheraroundthewaistwithhisfreeleftarm,spillingnotasingledropofhisbeerintheprocess.Shesuccessfullyavoidedfalling,buthernoseburieditselfinthemiddleofhischest,smackdabbetweenhispecs,andthesmellofgrapefruitsoapandshavingcreammomentarilymadeherbrainfuzzy.Anditgrewfuzzierstillwhenhepulledhercloser.Protectively.Givingthepeoplebehindheradarklook.“Okay,princess?”
“Yes,I’mfine.”Sheinhaled—discreetly—afinaltime.
Ormaybenotsodiscreetly,becausehislipstwitched.
Finally,shemanagedtopullback,smoothingthefrontofherdress,wincingatthebreathlessnessinhertonewhenshesaid,“Youweresayingsomethingaboutawager?”
ChapterEleven
Itisauniversaltruththatpeopledon’tmakethebestdecisionswhiledrinkingalcohol.Infact,peoplecametoplaceslikethiswiththeexpressintentionofmakingquestionabledecisions.Tostopbeingresponsibleforawhileandletfatestirthepot.Caseinpoint,axethrowinginabar.Asamanwho’dundergoneextensiveweaponstrainingandknewhowshitcouldgowrongintheblinkofaneye,hewantedtocarryNatalieoutofthereoverhisshoulder.Thefactthatshewasanywherenearseveralbladeswasunsettlinghimtoadegreethatcouldn’tbeignored.
TheincreasingprotectivenesshefeltforhisfiancétoldAugust…
Thiswasn’ttemporary.
Theyweren’t.
Sorry,princess.Suckstobeyou.
Thiswomanstandinginfrontofhimwashisdestiny.Partofhimhadknownitthenighttheymet,whenshe’dmadehimlaughandmadehimhornyinthesamebreath.Jesus,shelookedbeautifultonightwithallthatdark,smudgymakeuparoundhereyesandherhair…itkindoflookedlikesexhair.Likeshe’dbeenrollingaroundinthesheets.Wasthatintentional?Fuck.Hewouldgiveupwatchingbaseballforadecadetosinkafistintoitrightnow.Moveherheadrighttoleft,tugitbacksohecouldgetalookatthatmouthupclose.
Don’tgetmestartedonherlegs.
Ifsomeonebrandishedanaxewithintenyardsofthosepins,he’dthrowthemoutofthisplacethroughtheplateglasswindow.Andherface.Man,helovedlookingatthosekaleidoscopicfeaturesastheybrightenedanddimmedandshifted.Theywerethereasonhe’dgottenseverelyofftrack.
Bottomline,heknewinhisbonesthatinfiftyyears,he’dstillwanttolookatherface.
Prettysurehe’dbestarvedfortheopportunity.
Hewasprotectivebynature—andbytrade—butthewayhefeltaboutNatalie’ssafetywasonawholeotherlevel.Itwasn’tjustherphysicalsafetyheseemedtoworryaboutatalltimes,itwasthesafetyofherfeelings.Herheart.I’mresponsible.Butjustlikeanyoperation,heneededtogetinthereandfindoutwhathewasdealingwith.Heneededintel.
Thatwaswheretheirpathfromtemporarytopermanentneededtostart.
AndifNatalieknewhe’dtakentheloanfromhisCOandwasmarryingherpurelybecausehewantedhertoachievehergoals—andfine,becausehecouldn’tstandthethoughtofneverseeingheragain—she’dstabhimtodeath.
Sohe’djustleavethatasecretfornow.Atleastuntilshestoppedhatinghim.
Lovemeanslettinggoofyourpride,afterall.
Thosewordscircledaroundandaroundhishead.Washereadytostoptryingtowintheirongoingbattleofwills?Maybenotcompletely.TotallylettinghisguarddownaroundNataliemightleadtohisballsbeingamputated.Hecoulddamnwellbeginmakinginroads,though
“August.”Shewavedherhandinfrontofhisface.“Battleofthesexes.Thewager.”
“Wager.Right.”
Ifthemenwin,youagreetogrowoldwithme.
Toomuch.
“Ifthemenwin,youtellmewhathappenedinNewYork.”
Alsotoomuch,buthisbigtraphadalreadyreleasedthechallenge—anddamn,hereallydidwanttoknowwhathaddrivenherbacktoNapa.Ifhewasbeingforcedtoprytheinformationoutofher,itcouldn’tbegood.
Natalie’sexpressionhadgrownshutteredontheheelsofhisthrowingdownthegauntlet,butalmostimmediately,shestraightenedhershouldersandpinnedhimwithalook.“Fine.AndifIwin,youhavetoletmehelpyouwithyourwineproduction.”
Ohboy.Noway.
Nataliehadteasedhimsobrutallyabouthisshitwinemaking,allowingherintotheinnersanctumofhisproductionlinewouldmakehimfeellikeanexposedwound.“Doyouactuallywanttohelporareyoujusttryingtoone-upme?”
Shepursedherlips,pretendingtoconsiderit.“Both.”
Letherhelp.What’sthebigdeal?
MakingthewinewassupposedtobehisgifttoSam.Notjustagift,though…moreofanatonementforlettinghimdie.ItwasAugust’spenancetoserveandhewasprotectiveofthejob.Itwashisworktodo.Hisamendstomake.Nooneelse’s.
“Picksomethingelse.Anythingelse.”
Insteadofbeingexasperatedbyhisstubbornness,sheseemedkindoffascinatedbyit.“Um…okay,fine.Fortheentiremonththatwe’remarried,you’renotallowedtocomplainabouthowlongItaketodomymakeup.”
“Done.”ThankGodshehadn’tmadeanissueaboutthewinething.Hedidn’twanttoexplainoutloudwhyhewassodefensiveabouttheoperation.“Butwekisstosealthewager.”
“Youcan’tjustmakeuprulesasyougo,ratking.Ahandshakesealsit.”
Hescoffedintohisbeer.“Someone’sscared.”
“Oh,I’mscared?”Speakingofpride.“PrettysureI’mtheonewhoclimbedintothatshower.Ordidyouforget?”
Tits.
Beautiful,beautifultits.
“Princess,thatisacorememory.It’llbewithmeinthefuckingafterlife.”
Shetossedhersexhair.“Good.”Soflippant.Excepthecaughtherblush.
Didshelikeknowinghe’dremembertheirshowerforeternity?
Yeah.Shedid.
“Getoverhereandkissme.”
Shesnorted,grippingthefrontofhisshirtandpullinghimdown.Butshehesitatedbeforetheirlipscouldtouch.Wettinghersandstaringathis.“Fine.”
Asifitwasnobigdeal.
Rightbeforetheirmouthsmet,however,shelookedupathimandprovedherselfwrong.Itwasaverybigdeal.Theykissedinthemiddleofthebarliketheywerealone.Augustabsentlysethisbeerontotheclosesttablesohecouldfinally,blessedly,sinkalltenfingersintoherhairandgotofuckingtownonthatmouth.Tongue,lips,teeth.Heusedeverythingathisdisposaltomakehermoanwhiletheyslantedtheirpartedmouths,sampled,tookdeeply.Anddeeperstill.I’mgoingtofigureusout,hetoldherwiththekiss,meaningitwitheverybreathinhisbody.I’mgoingtomarryyou,makethiswork
Whentheypulledbackforair,Natalielookedmorethanalittlestartled.
Hell,hewasstartled,too.Everytimetheykissed,heneededmore.Moreofher.
Shegatheredairintoherlungswiththeirlipsstillonlyinchesapart.“Webetterstop—”
“BeforeIcarryyouintothebackalleyandripthosepantiesdownagain?”Hedraggedherbottomlipdownwithhisthumb.“Yeah.Guesswebetter.”
Natalieknockedhishandasideandmarchedpasthimtowardtheaxe-throwingbooth,hergaitmorethanalittleunsteady.“W-wewerejustsealingthewager.”
“Whateveryouneedtotellyourself,princess,”hedrawled,pickinghisdrinkbackupandfollowinginherwake.
Afewmomentslater,whenAugustpickeduphisfirstaxe,hedidn’tevenputhisbeerdown.HelookedNatalierightintheeyeandthrewabull’s-eye,thendrainedhispintglasswhilesheandHalliestaredathimwiththeirjawsontheground.“Whatthe…”Nataliesputtered.“Youjust—”
Augustpointedtohimself.“SEAL.Remember?”Hesignaledthepassingwaitresswithhisemptyglass.“Wordtothewise,nevermakeabetwithoneofus.Especiallywhenweaponsareinvolved.Whatwereyouthinking?”
“I’mthinking…”Natalieshruggedajerkyshoulder.“Ihaven’thadmyturnyet.”Shesteppeduptothewooden,waist-highshelfthatblockedthebarfromtheaxe-throwinglane.“Icouldstillwin.”
“That’sright,”Halliepipedup,pattingherontheback.“Yougotthis,Natalie.Neverunderestimatebeginner’sluck.”
“Orawomanwithherprideontheline,”Augustsaidwithasmile.
You’redoingagreatjobofmakingthisrelationshippermanent,buddy.
“Abeautifulwoman,”headdedquickly.
Natalielookedathimlikehe’dlosthismarbles.Maybehehad.
Afterall,hewasneedlingherwhileshewasholdingasharpobject.
AsAugustwatched,staringatherassforonlyafewwell-worth-itseconds,Nataliepickeduptheaxeandsankitstraightintotheredbull’s-eye.Andshelitup.Hermouthfellopen,lightfloodinghereyes.Shegasped,handsflyinguptohermouth.Likeawomandidduringaproposal.Likeshemighthavedoneifhehadn’tturnedhisproposalintoagiantjoke.
Dammit.
SweartoGod,thewholebarblurredaroundthemasshecelebrated.
Jumpintomyarms.Doit.Pleasedoit.
Spoiler:shedidnot.
Shegavehimaprimsniffandtookherplaceofftotheside,waytoofarfromhim.“Canyoupleasecomeoverhere,Natalie?”hesaid.
“Why?”
“Peoplearethrowingaxesinhere.”
“Waytorecognizethetheme.”Shewavedhimoff.“I’mfine.”
“Please?I’dliketobecloseenoughtostepinfrontofyouifnecessary.”
Herfeaturesmomentarilysoftenedandsheeventuallyrolledhereyesandsaunteredover,nestlinginbesidehimoutofnecessity,thankstothebarbeingsocrowded,especiallyinthethrowingzone.Whistlingcasually,helethisarmcreepupandsettleontohershoulders,earninghimapointedlook,butthankfullyshedidn’ttrytopullaway.Theystoodlikeareal-life,honest-to-GodcouplewhileHallietookherturn—athrowthatnearlyendedupintheceiling—andthenJulian,whosethrowlandedintheringjustoutsidethebull’s-eye.Thatlackofperfectionreallyseemedtoannoyhim.
“Wecan’tallbeaheroonthefirsttoss,”Augustsaid,slappingtheprofessorontheshoulder.
“Therearedifferentkindsofheroes,”remarkedNatalie,drawinghisattention.
“Meaning?”
Shelookedlikeshewantedtotakebackhercomment.BothJulianandHallieappearedtobesurprised,too,bythestatement.Possiblyevenalittleuncomfortableaboutit?“Meaning…”Natalie’sthroatworked.“Mybrother.He…rescuedmefromthefire.”Shelaughed,butitdidn’tquitereachhereyes.“Didn’tItellyouthat?”
Augustwashavingahardtimehearingoverthesquealoftiresinhisbrain.“Whatfire?”
“Stopshouting,”Nataliewhispered,nudginghimintheribswithherelbow.
Washeshouting?“Whatfire?”hesaidagain,soundingstrangled.Feelingstrangled.
Everyoneremainedsilentforlongmoments.Julianbecamefascinatedbytheaxe-throwingrulespostedonthewall,crossinghisarmsandobservingthemasiftheywereapaintinginamuseum.“Fouryearsago,”Halliesaidfinally,quietly.“ThefirethatwentthroughNapa?ItdidalotofdamagetoVosVineyard.JulianandNataliewerehomefortheharvestwhenithappened,andtheywereabletohelpevacuatetheirparents,staff,andasmuchequipmentaspossible,butNataliegottrappedin—”
“Okay.Whoawhoawhoa.”Augustwasbeginningtosweat.“Natalie?Trapped?”
“Areyouallright?”askedthewomaninquestion.
“Yeah.”Nope.Notatall.“Wheredidyougettrapped?”
“Halliewastryingtotellyou,”Nataliepointedout.
“Itwasalotofinformationatonce.”HeswipedathisforeheadwiththehemofhisT-shirt.AndhispulsewasracingtoofasttoenjoythefactthatNataliebitherliphardattheflashofhisstomach.“I’mreadyfortherestnow.”I’llneverbereadyfortherest.
Itdidn’tescapeAugust’snoticethatJulianwasnolongerreadingtherules,butwatchinghimverycloselyinstead.Whocouldblametheguy?Augustwasrapidlylosinghiscool.BecauseNataliehadbeenindangerfromafirefouryearsago.Really?Afuckingfire?Hehadn’tevenbeeninthecountryfouryearsago.Notcloseenoughtodoanything.Thousandsofmilesaway.
“Thefireapproachedmuchquickerthananticipated.Hoursfasterthantheytoldusitwould.”AgroovesatbetweenJulian’sdarkbrows.“Shegotcaughtintheshedwhiletransportingequipmentbackandforthtothetruck.There’sonlyoneentranceanditwasblockedbytheflames.”
“ButJuliangotthereintime.Heranin,coveredmyface,andhustledmeout.”Augustdidn’trealizehowstiffhe’dturneduntilNatalieshovedhimalittleandhealmostpitchedsidewayslikeatopplingstatue.“Andit’sagoodthing,too,becauseI’malivetonight,inthisbar,tokickyourassinaxethrowing.”
Halliewhoopedandheldupaglassofwine.“Iknowthat’sright.”
“Yourturn,August,”Julianprompted.Washesmirking?
Augustcouldn’tevenfeeltheaxeinhishandwhenhepickeditup.Heturneditoverafewtimes,lookeddown,andfounditshaking.Damn.“Uh,doessomeoneelsewanttotakeaturn?”
“Turnsmustgoinorder,”Juliansaid,pointingattherulesheet.
Havingnochoice,Augustmadesurenoonewasstandingtooclose,thenthrewtheweapon—watchingwithasourstomachasitlandedintheouterring.NoonesaidanythingwhenhesteppedbackandgesturedforNatalietotakeherturn.Shelookedathimcuriouslyonherwayuptothebarrier,pickingupthehandleofherblade.Thistime,shecaughtthemiddlering,followedbyHalliedoingthesame.Juliangotabull’s-eye.Theywerealltalkingandplanningthenextround,butAugustcouldn’tconcentrateonwhatwasbeingsaid.AllhecouldseewasNatalietrappedandscared,andheneededtogetsomeair.Now.
“I’llberightback.”Augusttriedtosmilebutwasprettysurehejustlookedreadytohurl.“Juststeppingoutsideforaminute.”
“Hey.”Beforehecouldtakeastep,Nataliereachedoutandcaughthiswrist.“You’renotmadbecauseyoulostthewager,areyou?”
“Whatwager?”
Sheblinked.“Comeon,let’sgo.”Shepulledhimthroughthecrowdtowardthedoor.“You’rehavingamentalbreakdown.Eitherthatoryoujustrealizedyougaveupthechancetoridiculemeoverathirty-minutemakeuproutine,soyou’refakingamnesia.”
Christ,heneededtopullhimselftogether.“Iremember.”Theysteppedintothecrispevening,ontotheemptysidewalkoutsideJed’s,thelastremnantsoftheearliersunsetgivingtheairapurplishglow.Ormaybehereallywasjusthavingamentalbreak.Couldairtastepurple?“ButIwaskindofcountingonwinning.”
“Whathappened?”Natalieasked.
“I’mnotverygoodatfeelinghelpless.That’showIfelthearingthatstory.”Helookedherover,headtotoe,barelyresistingtheurgetoreachoutandrunhishandsalloverherskin.“You’reokay?Youdidn’tgetburnedanywhere?”
Hermouthopenedandclosed,herstanceshiftingsidetoside.“No.Itwasreallyscary,butbeyondthefactthatItriple-checkmysmokedetectorsnow,I’mfine.”
“Good.”Abeatpassed.“Howcanyoudoubtyourbrotherlovesyouwhenheranintoaburningshedtosaveyou?”Augustsaiditwithoutthinking,rakingastillunsteadyhanddownhisface.God,hereallyneededtothankJulianforwhathe’ddone.Hewould.
Soonashegotbackinside.
Infact,hewasgoingtoaskhimtobehisbestman.
“It’s…hisnature.Healwaysdoestherightthing.”Natalie’scheeksweredeepeningwithcolor.“Itgavehimaterriblepanicattackafterward.He’shadthisanxietysincewewerekidsandImadeitworsebecauseIwasn’tpayingattention.”
“Yeah,Natalie.Soinconsiderateofyou.Nexttime,trytopredictthefire.”
“Wow.Nice.Usinglogictomakemefeelbetter.That’slow.”Herlipstwitchedslightlytolethimknowshewasjokingandhisfuckingheartjustsortofwrappeditselfinabowforher.“Ispentalotoftimethinkingheblamedmeforhisepisodeafterthefire.Buthe…doesn’t.Hetoldmehedoesn’t.We’realotbetternowthatwe’vespentsometimetogether.”
“But?”
Herchinlifted.“Howdoyouknowthere’sabut?”
“Nat-tuition.”
Lipstwitching,shesizedhimupforacoupleofseconds.“Weallgoitaloneinthisfamily.Butthey…wereallreadytogoitalonelongbeforeIwas.NowJulianandmymotheraregettingcloserandI’mtheindependentone.I’mkindoflike,hey,remembereveryonetellingmetogetmyshittogetherandgostandonmyowntwofeet?Well,Idid.Andnoone…caredornoticed.NowI’msupposedtomakethisbigefforttoreconnect?No.IfoundwhatIwaslookingforsomewhereelse.Forawhile.AndIjustwanttogetitback.”
“InNewYork.”
“Yes,henceourimpendingnuptials.”Sheseemedjumpy.“Canwegobackinsidenow?”
“No.”Hetookastepinherdirectionandtiltedhishead,seeingherthroughfresheyes.Stillastoughasever,butwounded.Patchitup.That’swhathewantedtodo,buthehadnoideahow.“Theyshouldhavenoticed.Youshouldalwaysbenoticed.”
Thatcaughtheroffguardandshefumbledthroughathank-you.
“It’sahellofabalance,wantingyourfamilytobeproudwhilealsokeepingthematadistancesoyoucanbeyourownperson.”Whathewantedtosaynextfelttoopersonal.Itwasabouthisbestfriendandhisknee-jerkreactionwastokeepittohimself.Still,heforcedthewordsout,eventhoughtheyfeltliketheyweretravelingthroughbarbedwireinhisthroat.“Samstruggledwiththatalot—havinghisfatherasacommandingofficer.Theycutoffthefather-sonpartoftheirrelationshipoutofnecessity.Sotherewouldbenodistractingemotionsinthemix—thosecangetamankilledinourlineofwork,youknow?Butwhentheyhadsomedowntimeandwantedtoreconnect,itwasn’tsoeasy.Probablybecausethey’dseenhowsmoothlyeachcould…detach,youknow?”
“Yeah,”shebreathed.“That’sexactlyright.”
Holyshit,washeontosomething?Didhehavethepotentialtoactuallyhelpsimplybybeinghonest?Thebarbedwirewasstillthere,alongwiththedesiretoholdallofhisSammemoriesclose,buthewasdeterminedtomakeNataliefeelbetter.IfopeningupalittleaboutSam,atleastfortonight,washowheaccomplishedthat,he’ddothehardthing.“That’swhySamandIweresoclose.Hestayedwithmyfamilyonholidays.Mymomsenthimbirthdaycardswithtwenty-dollarbillstuckedinside.Mydadtookhimfishing,evenwhenIwasn’taround.Wewerebrothers.”
Emotionshoneinhereyes.“Wereyousurprisedtoseehisfathertheotherday?”
“That’sputtingitmildly.”Thescartissueonthebackofhisshoulderthrobbed.“IretiredearlyfromtheteamafterwelostSam.Ijustcouldn’toperatethesame.”NotafterwhatIlethappenonmywatch“TheCOandIdidn’tpartonbadterms,butitwas…Idon’tknow.Itwaslikehedidn’twelcomemedoingsomethingsodrasticoverSamwhenhewasjustplanningonstayingintheexactsameplace.Doesthatmakesense?”
Heappreciatedthewayshethoughtitoverforamoment.Then,“Yes.Itdoes.”
“Mostly,IwishSamwereheretoseehowmuchhisdadcaredallalong.Iwishhewereherefor…”Momentarilyunabletospeak,Augustgesturedbetweenthem.
“Forthewedding.”
Augustclearedhisthroathard.“Yeah.”
Theeveninghummedaroundthem,thebuzzcomingfrominsidemakingthesidewalkseemallthemoresilent.Intimate.Hecouldn’treadNatalie’sexpression,buthethoughttheremightbeatouchofwonderinitforsomereason.Andthen,“IgotforcedoutofmyhedgefundinNewYork,”sheblurted.“Formakingaseriouslybadtradethatlostthecompanyalotofmoney.Likeenoughtobuythreeprivateislandsandstillthrowaparty.Lostalotofrespectintheprocess.Iwastheyoungestpartner.Theonlywoman.Butovernight,Ibecamealiabilityandtheyfiredme.MyfiancébrokeoffourengagementbecauseInolongerfitintoourworld.”Sheliftedashoulderandletitdrop.“That’swhathappenedinNewYork.”
Damn.Hecouldn’timaginethiswomanmakingamistakepaintingherfingernails,letaloneonethatcostabunchofsuitstheirmansionfunds.Andevenmorepressing,whatmaninhisrightgoddamnmindwouldletNatalieVosgetaway?
Hewantedtoshoutabunchofwords—“thatspinelessmotherfucker”chiefamongthem—butthiswasavulnerablemomentforher.Evenhecouldrecognizeitwasn’tatimeforthreatsandanger,despitethefactthathesorelywantedtoletlooseonthewrongsdonetoher.Still,hereinedintheburstofadrenalineandkepthisvoicesteadyaspossible.
“Ifhebailedthatquickly,Natalie,heneverhadenoughintegritytodeserveyouinthefirstplace.”Hekepthisexpressionserious.“ThankGodyoufoundme.”
Herlipssortofquiveredupintoasmile.
Augustsmiledback.
Andhewasn’tentirelycertain,buthewasprettysurethey’dmadesomeheadwaytonight.Nottomention,he’dlearnedsomething.WhenhesharedthingswithNatalie,shesharedback.Heneededtorememberthat,becausehewantedtoknoweverythinggoingoninherhead.Wantedthatbadly.Fornow,hewasgoingtobaskintheglowofprogresswithawomanwho’doncecalledhimawalkingsewageplant.
“Shouldwecelebratethismeaningfulconversationwithakiss?Maybesomelightpetting?”Hehelduphishands,palmsout.“Orheavypetting.I’mdowneitherway—”
Shewasalreadywalkingpasthimwithaneyeroll.“JustwhenIthoughtyoumightbecapableofbasicdiscourse.”
Comingupbehindher,heblewaraspberryintoherneck.“ToldyouI’dneverletyoudown.”
Sheswattedhimaway.“Yourinterpretationoflettingsomeonedownisassbackward.”
“Assbackwardsoundsevenbetterthanheavypetting,”hesaid,wagglinghisbrows.“WheredoIsignup?”
“Righthere,”shesang,flippinghimthebird.
“Uh-huh.”Hewinked.“Irememberhowmuchyouloveanicemiddlefinger.”
Natalie’sgroanmingledwithAugust’sboominglaughontheirwaybackintothebar.
ChapterTwelve
“I’msorry.Didyousayyou’vegotusapotentialinvestor?”
NatalieskiddedtoahaltonherwayacrossthegroundsofVosVineyard.Herformercolleagueandfuturepartner,Claudia,haddroppedthatgood-newsbombshellonher,thenproceededtoshriekatsomeoneforstealinghercabwhileNatalieheldherbreaththreethousandmilesaway.
“Claudia?”
“Yes,I’mhere.Holdon,though,letmeorderanUber.”Preciselytwenty-sixsecondslater,shewasback.“WilliamBanesSavage.Madehismoneyintechinthenineties.SomethingaboutPentiumprocessors,likeanyoneknowswhatthefuckthatis.Buthe’soldandbored,withmoneytoburn,andwantstogethisfeetwetwiththeyoungscamps.IfyoucangetherebynextFriday,Icanarrangeadinnermeeting.”
“NextFriday?Asinaweekfromtoday?”WiththesoundsofNewYorkCityinherear,thevineyardaroundherfeltalmostlikeanalienplanet.“I’mgettingmarriedtomorrow.”
“Married?”Claudiamadeagaggingsoundontheotherend.“Whatthehellfor?”
“Rentmoneyforournewofficespace.Equipment.FundstotakePentiumprocessormanouttodinner—”
“I’vegotthegist.Damn.Sohe’sloaded?”
WhydidsheevenrevealthemarriagetoClaudia?NowtheywerediscussingAugustthesamewaythey’dbeendiscussingWilliamBanesSavage—asthoughhewereameanstoanend—andshedidn’tlikethatatall.Hewasalotmorethanthat.Lastnight,aftershe’dreturnedfromaxethrowing,she’dlainawakeinbed,replayingwhathe’dtoldheraboutSam.Abouthisownfamily.Howheheldthesepeoplesoclosetohisheart.Treasuredthem.WhatwoulditbeliketomeansomuchtoAugust?“Nevermind,”shecroaked.“SetupthemeetingfornextFridayandI’lldomybesttobethere.Worstcasescenario,wecancelandtellSavageI’mmeetingwithsomeonemoreimportant.He’llbeblowingupmyphone.”
“Gooff,AnnaDelvey.There’sthebitchIusedtoknow.”
Natalie’ssmilefeltstiff.“Ineverleft.”
Claudiasnort-laughed.“MyUberishere.I’llletyouknowwhenI’vegotdetails.Bye.”
“Bye.”
Forseveralsecondsaftersheendedthecall,Nataliestareddownatthedeviceinherhandtryingtocalmtheweirdlyunsettledsensationinhermiddle.Acoupleofweeksago,shewouldhavesoldhersoulforachancetogetbackonaplanetoNewYorkandmeetwithapotentialinvestor.Hertrustfundwouldestablishthenewfirm,buttheywouldquicklyneedclout.TheywouldneedsomeonetocomeonboardandsendasignaltootherinvestorsthatNatalieandClaudiawerenotonlyasafeplay,butashinynewendeavor.
Butleavingonlysixdaysafterthewedding?
Ofcourse,shewouldn’tbeleavingforgood.JustlongenoughtomeetwithWilliamBanesSavage.CouldshesneakoutofSt.Helenaforacoupleofdayswithoutthemassestakingnote?Wouldithurttheirchancesofappearinglegitimateifsheleftonasolotriplessthanaweekaftertyingtheknot?
HowwouldAugustfeelaboutit?
Natalieswallowedhardandkeptwalkingtowardherdestination—theVoswinecave.
It’snotliketheyweregoingonahoneymoonoranything,right?Businesswasbusiness.
Eventually,she’dbeleavingpermanentlyandAugustwaswellawareofthat.Thiswaswhatthey’dbothsignedupfor.Temporary.
Shetookahastyturnintotheproductionfacility,smilingattheemployeeswhoglancedover.Aftertheygotoverthesurpriseofseeingherthere,theynoddedback,returningtotheirtasks.Harvesthadtakenplacetowardtheendofthesummer,followedbythepressingofthegrapes.Now,firmlyintofall,theywereinthefermentationphase,whichwasaverycarefulsciencethatcouldtakemonths.Rowafterrowofbarrelswererackedontheirsides,employeescarefullystirringthenaturalyeasttokeepitfromsettlingatthebottomofthewoodenvessels,givingthewineoxygen,cultivatingtheflavor.
Nataliejourneyedpastthemtotherearofthefacility,openedthemetaldoor,andstartedthelongtrekdownfourflightsofstonestairs.Whenshereachedthebottom,thescentofwetmushroomstickledhernoseandthesightofthousandsofagingwinebottlesgreetedher,alongwithevenmorebarrels.Tableswerearrangedthroughoutthecaveforguestswhotouredthewineryandwantedtoexplorethegroundsbeyondgettingtipsyatthewelcomecenter.
DidZelnickCellarhaveawinecave?SheneededtoaskAugustaboutthat.AlotofwineriesinNapahadone,thoughtheyrangedinsize.Maybehecouldbringheronatourofhisundergroundcellar.Notthatshewantedtobealoneinthedarkwithhim,itwaspurelyoutofprofessionalcuriosity,sinceshewasnow,technically,anemployeeofhisvineyard—
Herheartjumpedintoherthroatwhensheheardvoicesapproachingfromdeepinthecave.Corinneand…wasthatJulian?
“It’sanimagingservicethattakeshigh-resolutionaerialphotographsofthevineyard,”Julianexplainedbriskly.“Thatway,wecanseewhichvinesareoverstressed,understressed.Itcanteachusalotaboutwhythetasteisinconsistentandhowtoirrigate—”
“Idon’tevenwanttoaskhowexpensiveaerialphotographsrun,”Corinnecutin.
“It’sbecomingabuilt-inexpenseforalotofwineries,”Julianreturnedinhisusualcalmandconcisemanner.“Overtime,itactuallyhelpsreducecostsbecauseresourcesarebeingdirectedtotherightplaces,ratherthanwasted.”
“Soundslikeawinner,”Nataliepipedup,steppingintoviewfrombehindarackofbarrels.“Whendidyoutwostartmeetinginanundergroundcavelikesupervillains?”
Corinnelookedstartledatherdaughter’ssuddenappearance,butJulianonlyseemedcurioustofindherthere.“Shouldn’tyoubeatyourfinalfitting?”Corinnedemandedtoknow.“It’snoteasytofindatailorwillingtomakealterationsonaweddingdresspracticallyovernight.”
“Don’tworry.Ijustcamefromplayingpincushion,”Nataliesaid,transferringherattentiontoJulian.Tryingherabsolutebestnottoletitshowonherfacehowitfeltbeingleftoutofthefamilymeetings.Allthetime,nowthatJulianhadgotteninvolvedinoperations.Shemightaswellbeaghost.“Whatwastheimagingserviceyouweretalkingabout?Thatsoundsinteresting.”
BeforeJuliancouldanswer,Corinnespokeagain.“Youneverexplainedwhatyouweredoingdownhere.”
Nataliejerkedashoulder.“Idon’tknow.Ijustcameforthequiet.”
Thatwaspartiallytrue.Asakid,shelikedtosneakdowntothewinecaveandsitwithherbackpressedupagainstthechillystonewall.She’dsitthereforhoursimaginingasearchpartybeingformedtofindherupaboveonthesurface.She’dfantasizeabouthowrelievedeveryonewouldbeifandwhentheyactuallyfoundher.They’dsnatchherupinabighugandmakeherpromisenevertohideawayagainwithouttellinganyonewhereshe’dgone.
Thatfantasynevercametrue,butpretendingmadeherfeelbetter.
Thisafternoon,shehadn’tcomedowntothecavetofantasizeaboutaworriedposseoflovedonessearchingforherwithflamingtorchesthroughswampsandvalleys.No,she’dcometodoalittlesoulsearching.She’dstoppedintowntodaytobuyacoupleofbottlesofwine…butdroveawayempty-handed.Drinkingwinehadbecomeacopingmechanismratherthanatoolofenjoyment.Ifshereallythoughtaboutit,shehadn’tenjoyedwineatallinweeks.Soon,hertrustfundwouldbereleasedandshewouldneedaclearheadtotakeadvantageoftheopportunity.Heronlyone.
“Hmm,”Corinnesaid,observingherthewayascientistexaminesaglassslide.“Doyouwanttocomebylateranddoaquickrundownoftheweddingarrangements?”Thebarestglimmerofasmileteasedhermouthbeforeitfled.“You’regettingmarriedtomorrowafternoon,youknow.”
Nataliewonderedifshe’dimaginedthattinysmile.HeavenknewCorinnewasn’thappyaboutNataliegettinghitchedtoAugust.“Yes,I’maware.And…sure.I’llstopbyafterdinner.”
Hermotherinclinedherhead.“IngramMeyerwasthefirsttoRSVP.Heholdsyourtrustfundinhishands,lestyouneedreminding.Itwon’treflectwellifyouappeartohavenoideawhat’sgoingontomorrow.”
Thiswaswhyshedrank.“Understood.”BeforeCorinnecouldremindherofanymorepressingresponsibilities,Nataliecontinued,“I’mpackedandreadytovacatetheguesthouse.HallieofferedtodropmythingsoffatAugust’splacethismorningwhileIattendedthefitting,soI’msurethatmissionwascompletedpromptlyandontime.”
Juliansnorted.Inanaffectionateway.Hisgirlfrienddidn’toperateundertheconstraintsoftimeandclocksandcalendars.Asaresult,hisinclinationtoscheduleeverysecondofthedayhadbeguntowane.Drastically.Andheappearedtobequitehappierforthechange.Why,hewasn’tevenwearingatieandwerethose…flip-flopsadorninghisfeet?
Beforeshecouldcommentonherbrother’sstartlingchoiceinfootwear,Corinneclearedherthroat.“We’rediscussingbusinessrightnow,Natalie.”
Natalieplasteredasmileonherface,refusingtoletthehurtofdismissalshow.“Julian,whenyouhaveachance,shootmethenameofthatimagingserviceyouwerespeakingabout.I’mjustcurious.”
“Stayandtalkaboutitwithus,”hesaid,splittingathoughtfulfrownbetweenCorinneandNatalie.“Ihaven’tevengottenstartedontheirmethodsofdiseasedetection.”
“Whoa.I’mtooyoungtodieofexcitement.”Natalielaughed,holdingupherhandsandbackingaway.“It’sfine.I’llseeyouguysbackonthesurface.”
“Natalie,”Juliancalledwhenshereachedthestairs,buthersmilewasbeginningtowane,soshekeptgoing,asifshedidn’thearhim.
It’sfine.
NextFridaynightwasrightaroundthecorner.Thatwaswhenshewouldproveherself.
Thatwaswhenshewouldshine.
Godknewshewasnevermeanttodothathere.
***
AugustproppedapictureofSamagainstthegravestone,satback,andcrackedopenacoldone.“Cheers,buddy.”
He’dwokenupevenearlierthanusualthismorningtomakethedrivedowntoSanJoaquinValleyNationalCemetery,whereSamwasburied.Callinghisparentsandinformingthemofthenewsabouthisweddinghadbeenfun.Funlikearootcanal.Hisearswerestillringingfromhismother’soutragedscreech.TheywereonacruisetoAlaska—whichhedidn’tevenknowwasathing—andobviouslycouldn’tmakeittoSt.Helenabytomorrow.He’dmanagedtoescapewithwhatremainedofhishearingbypromisingtobringNatalietoKansastomeetthemsoon.
Maybeheshouldjustcrawlintooneofthesegravesrightnow,becausehedidn’tknowwhenorevenifhe’dbepullingthatoff.Butitsurewasnicetothinkabout.Consideringtheywerebothtoughasnails,Natalieandhismotherwouldprobablysquareoffacrossthedinnertable,refusingtoblink.Augustwashereforit.
Proppinghimselfupfrombehindwithhisleftfist,heliftedthebeertohislipswithhisrighthand,tracingthenameonthegravestonewithhiseyes.“Icameheretoaskyousomethingimportant,man.Willyouwalkmedowntheaisle?”
Samstaredbackathimfromtheglossyphotograph,halfsmiling.AugusthadsnappedtheshotwithhisphoneattheendofdayoneofBUD/Straining,wherethey’dmet.Samlookeddog-tiredinthephoto,buttherewasatouchofexhilarationthere,too,likehewasrelievedtogetthroughthefirsttwenty-fourhours.
“Wait,you’retellingmeonlythebridegetstowalkdowntheaisle?”Augustrearedbackatouch.“Thatdoesn’tseemfair.I’vebeenworkingonmyrunwaystrutfornothing.”
Helistenedforaminute,tryingtoimaginewhatSamwouldsay.
“Natalie?Yeah,she’s…”Heletgoofabreath.“Wayoutofmyleague.RememberhowIusedtotellyounowomanwouldevergetmeunderherspell?Well,thisonecould.Shecouldhavemewhippedinthetimeittakestocrackanegg.”
Thewinddriftedthroughthesunnycemetery,rustlingthetrees.
“I’malreadywhipped,yousay?”Augustsmiledintohisnextsipofbeer.“Idon’trecallaskingforanopinion.”Heclearedhisthroat.“Butseriously,youknow,IhavenoideawhatI’mdoingthesedays.I’mtryingtoopenyourstupidwineryandIsuckatit.Outofnowhere,I’vegotafuckingcat.Stoplaughing.”Thebeerwassourinhismouthnow.“YouwerereallygoodatthethingsIwasn’t.Itaughtyouhowtofish,youremindedmewhenitwastimetobuynewsocks.Itoldyouthemustachemadeyoulooklikeaserialkiller,youtalkedmeoutofminingforBitcoin.Thebalanceisoffnow.But,uh…”
Heswipedathiseyesandshiftedintoadifferentposition.
“Idon’tfeeloff-balancewhenshe’saround.Imean,Ido.ShedefinitelymakesmefeellikeI’mjugglingdinnerplates.There’salsothisfeelinglike…”Hethoughtaboutitforafewseconds.“YouknowthefeelingyouhadwhenItookthispicture?Likethehardshitisover?Ifeelthatwithher.Orthatit’spossiblewithher,Iguess.Idon’tknow.Likeifwejustgetthroughthedifficultshit,allthestrainwewentthroughtoreachtheotherside…I’llrememberitlikeitwasajoy,insteadofbeinghard.”
Augustlistenedtothewind.
“Yes,she’shot,too,youdog.Thehottest.Don’tgetanyideas.”
Beerempty,heletthebottletipsidewaysinthegrass,thendecidedtodothesamehimself,lyingwithhischeekpressedtotheground.
“Iknewyou’daskaboutthewinesoonerorlater.LikeIsaid,it’sgoingterribly.Harvestistheeasypart.Pickthegrapesatnight,keepthemcold.Crushthegrapes—yes,Ileftthestemsandskinonduringfermentationtobringthetanninstolife.We’remakingaCabernet.Iknowthatmuch,dick.”Heexhaled.“Nowtheredstuffisinthebarrelsandthat’swhereIgottrippeduplastyear.Didyouknowpeopleaddeggwhitesandclayandsulfurandallkindsofshittobringouttheflavorofthegrape?Thereisnorecipe.It’sall…trialanderrorscience.Andthatwasyourdeal.I’mtheonewhogiveswedgiestothescientists.”
Herolledoverontohisbackandlookedupintotheclouds,sighingalittlewhenoneofthemtooktheshapeofNatalie’slips.
“Ifyouwerehere,Iknowwhatyou’dbesaying.Askforhelp,August.”Histhroattightenedupunexpectedly.“It’sweird,though.IknowIshould,butIcan’t.Iwassupposedtodothisforyou.Iwassupposedto…haveyourbackatalltimes.Ifailed.I’msorry.”
Whenhisvoicecracked,heknewitwastimetogo.
Withonemorehardclearingofhisthroat,Augustrolledbackupintoasittingposition,collectedthepicture,foldeditonthecrease,andcarefullytuckeditintohispocket.“I’llbebacksoon,ifyou’relucky.”Hefist-bumpedthegravestone.“Loveyou,man.Wishmeluck.”
ChapterThirteen
ItwastheantithesisofhowNataliehadpicturedherwedding.
Thethemeofherthwartednuptialshadbeenmodern.Chic,black-tie,smokyjazz,andchandeliers.Arooftopceremonyatdusk,followedbychampagneandminglingwithcolleagues.Makingprofessionalinroadsatherownweddinghadbeenagiven.Although,inamannerofspeaking,shewasdoingthesamehere.Marryinginthenameofreturningtotheworldoffinance.Thefast-paced,oftenugly,no-time-to-crybusinessofinvesting.
Butshenever,notonce,envisionedherselfgettingmarriedinSt.HelenainthefrontyardwhereshehadoncewokenupbeneathanoverturnedunicycleandLudacrisblaringfromherBluetoothspeaker.Don’tgetherwrong,thesettingwasunmatched.MountSt.Helenawasclearasabellinthedistance,smotheredinsunshine.Thevineyardseemedtobeputtingitsbestfootforwardtoday,rowsoflushgreensandrichbrownsrolledoutlikeshinyribbonsintheflatteringafternoonlight.
Nataliewalkedaroundtheperimeterofthetentwherethereceptionwouldtakeplaceintotheevening.Itwassmallerthanshe’dexpected,basedonhermother’sdescription,thankGod.She’dconvincedhermothertokeeptheguestlistontheintimatesideandforonce,theyhadn’targuedaboutit,thoughonlyonemanonthelistseemedtomattertoday—IngramMeyer.AtleasttoNatalieandAugust.ForCorinne,theweddingwasasmuchaboutimageasitwasabouthelpingthemsucceed.Wasn’tit?
Ahundredyardsahead,NataliecouldseeHalliebustlingaroundinrippedjeanshortsandasky-bluehaltertop,securingbig,brightboughsofcrimsonrosestotheaislechairswheretheceremonyitselfwouldstartinaboutanhour.
Nataliedidn’tevenhaveherdressonyet.
Hairandmakeupwasdone—she’dtakencareofthatherself.
Everythingwasbeinghandled.Allsheneededtodowasgetfakemarried.
Justgetthroughtoday,staymarriedforonemonthtomaketheunionbelievableandnotblemishtheVosnamewithascandal.Thenshe’dbeonherway.
IttookNatalieseveralmomentstorealizeshewasscanningtheyardforAugust.
Shouldn’thebehere,withonlyanhourtogobeforetheceremony?
Hadhechangedhismind?
Whenthey’dpartedwaystwonightsagoafteraxethrowing,everythinghadseemedfine.Meaningshe’dcalledhimalumberingtwatandhe’dmadekissingnoisesatheruntilshe’dslammedthedoorofherUberonhim.Allperfectlynormal.
Funny,whileponderingthepossibilitythatAugusthadgoneAWOL,shedidn’timmediatelythinkofhertrustfund.Shewaskindof…worried?ThatmaybehewashavingahardtimegoingthroughwiththeweddingwithoutSam?
Shereachedintothepocketofherrobeandtookoutherphone,smoothingherthumbovertheglassscreen.Shouldshecallhim?Seeifheneededtochat?Aslittleasaweekago,theveryideaofholdingaconversationofanylengthwiththeworld’sworstwinemakerwouldhavebeenlaughable.Andhey,theyweren’tbestfriendsnoworanything.Ha!Thatwouldbetheday.Buttalkingtohimdidn’tquitesuckasmuchasithadbefore?Itwaskindofnicehowshecouldbeasmeanandsarcasticasshewantedandhesimplyrosetotheoccasion.Shedidn’thavetopretend.She’devenbeenhonestwithhimaboutherfamilywoesandafterward,she’dbeenjustalittlebitlighter.
Maybepretendingtobemarriedtohimwouldn’tendinWorldWarIII.
Itwouldn’tbeawalkinthepark,either.Buttheymightnotkilleachother.
RightasNataliewaspreparingtocallhermissingfiancé,histruckroaredintotheparkinglotandskiddedtoahalt,kickingupadustcloud.Everyoneonthelawnstoppedandturnedtowatchthegiantgroomclimboutofhistruck—carefullycradlingamarmalade-coloredcattohischest,pattingitsheadsoothingly.
Menacewashere.Wearingacattuxedo.
Natalieduckedbackbehindthetenttolaugh,gettingitoutofhersystemasquicklyaspossible,beforeschoolingherfeatures.WhensheheardAugustexchangeahellowithHallie,shesteppedoutintotheopen.
Augustspottedher,jerkedback,andheldthecatupinfrontofhisface.“JesusChrist,Natalie.I’mnotsupposedtoseeyou.”
Sheimploredtheskyforpatience.“You’renotsupposedtoseemeinthedress,August.”
Stillhedidn’tlowerthecat.“That’snotthedress?”
“It’sarobe.”
“Ahhh.”Finally,thecatwasbackagainsthischest.“Whateveritis,youlookhotinit.”
Natalieshookherheadathim.Toobadsomanylocalswerewithinearshot,settinguptablesinsidethetent,caterersarrangingchampagneflutesandplacesettings.“Youlookveryniceinyourtuxedo,aswell.”
Theliedetectortestdetermines…thatisnotalie.
AugustCateswasfine.Rugged.Totallyateasewithhisenormousbodyandthickmuscles,whichwereaccentuatedtoperfectioninthestarchedblackjacketandpants.Shecouldtellhe’dshaved,butgrowthwasalreadyapparentonhiscutjawandupperlip,somehowmakingthebowtielooksofter.Likeitcouldbewhippedoffatanymoment.He’dtriedtotamehishair,butthewindinhistruckmusthavegottenholdofit,becausesomepieceswererefusingtostayinline.Honestly,though,whocaredabouthairwhenhisshoulderscouldseatapartyoffour?
Hesaunteredcloser,hisrighthandstrokingthecat’sbackabsently.“Yeah,Icanseeyoulikemeinatux,princess.”
Shesmirkedathim,hopingtheheatinhercheekswasn’tturningthemred.“Niceofyoutoshowup.”
“Aw,”hedrawled.“Wereyougettingworried?”
“Thatyouslippedinapuddleofyourowncavemandroolandhityourhead?Yes.Iwas.”
Hissmileshowedoffarowofstrong,whiteteeth.“WereyouabletogetadressmadeofDalmatianfuronshortnotice?”
“Hadoneinmyclosetalready,asamatteroffact.Ijusthadtofindagoodman.”Thecornersofhermouthlifted.“Andbygood,Imeanstandingupright,withapulse.”
“Gosh,Natalie.YousureknowhowtomakeanAdonisfeelspecial.”
“Itisourweddingday,afterall.”Nowthatshe’dmadesuretheywereonevenfooting,inthatsafebickeringspacewheretheytendedtolive,Nataliewascomfortableenoughtodrawanobjectfromherrobepocketandholditouttohim.“YoumentionedweddinggiftsandIjustpickedupasmallthing.It’sreallyjustaverysmallthing.Likeyousaid,thiswasshortnoticeand…”Stoprambling.“IfoundyourFacebookprofile,whichyouhaven’tpostedanythingoninlike,sevenyears,buttherewasapictureofSam,and…”
Shecouldn’tseemtostopmovingasheturnedthelaminatedpictureoverinhishand,readingthewordsthatwereprintedthere.Thenback.Rightsideupagain.Hesaidnothing,justlookeddownatthesmallcardwithhisbrowpuckered.
“ThisistheU.S.Navyhymn,”hesaidquietly,finallylookingupather.
“Yes.”Shetuckedastrandofloosehairbackintoherlowchignon.“Ihadtogoogleitobviously.Idon’tjustknowhymnsoffthetopofmyhead.”
“Natalie…”
“Samcan’tbehere,butyoucanputthatinyourpocketand…Idon’tknow.Maybeit’llfeelatinybitlikeheis.LikeIsaid,it’sjustasmallthing—”
Hemovedquickly,hisfirmmouthpressingtohersandcuttingheroffmid-sentence,stayingthereforalongmomentwhileneitheroneofthemseemedtobreathe.“No,it’snot,”hesaid,releasingherlips,butstayingclose.Socloseshe’dtiltedherheadallthewaybacktoreceivethekiss.“Thisisn’tsmall,princess.”
Shecouldn’tthinkofanadequateresponsetothatandtalkingatallseemedlikeitmightbedifficult,soshejustnodded,thepressureonherchestincreasingthelongerheheldhereyes,searchingthem.
“Yourpresentisbackatthehouse,”hesaid,carefullytuckingthepictureintohisbreastpocket.
“Great.”Shehadtoswallowbecauseherthroatwasutterlydry.“Ican’twaittoopenmylubefromthegasstation.Whichflavordidyougetme?”
“Tropical.Obviously.”
“Pitywe’llneveruseit.”
“Iknow,right?”Helethisgazetraildownherbodytotheknotofherrobe.“Youdon’tneedanyhelpinthatdepartment.Notwhenyou’vegotmetolookat.”
“That’sbeautiful.Ifonlywe’ddecidedtowriteourownweddingvows,youcouldhaveincludedit.”
“WhosaysIdidn’twritemyown?”
Thatgaveherseriouspause.Washejoking?“Didyou?”
Augustheldupthecat’spawinalittlewaveandstrolledpasthertowardthehouse.“Idon’tknow,didI?”
“August!”
“Meetyouattheendoftheaisle,Natalie.”
Herintendedhadjustmovedoutofearshotwhenherphonebuzzedinherpocket.
Whenshesawherfather’snameonthescreen,thewarmfuzziesshe’d—admittedly—gottenfromherconversationwithAugustvanished.Itcouldn’tbeacoincidencethathe’dcalledonherweddingday.Shesteppedintoasmalltentattheedgeofthepropertythatappearedtobesetupasacoatcheck.Andsheanswered.
“Father.”
TherewasashortburstofItalianontheotherend,thenDalton’svoicecamethroughclear.“Natalie.”Hissighwaswovenwithresignation.“You’regoingtocalloffthisridiculousspectacleimmediately.WhatarepeoplegoingtothinkwhenI’mnotinattendanceatmyowndaughter’swedding?”
Thatrenderedhermomentarilyspeechless.“WhotoldyouIwasgettingmarried?Iknowdamnwellitwasn’tmymother.”
“IhavealotoffriendsintheValley.Abetterquestionis:Whodidn’ttellme?”
“Andjusttorecap,you’remoreupsetabouthowthisreflectsonyou…thanthefactthatyouaren’tcloseenoughtoyourfamilytobeinvitedtoyourdaughter’swedding?”
Hislong-sufferingsighwasinterruptedbysomeoneelsespeakingtohiminItalian,awomanthistime.Daltonrespondedtoherinkind.Beforehespokeagain,Natalieknewshewouldn’tgetasatisfyinganswertoherquestion.Butshenevercouldhaveexpectedwhathesaidinstead.“Isthiswhatyouwant,Natalie?Toforcemyhand?”Apauseensued.“Fine.CallofftheweddingandI’llreleaseyourtrustfund.”
“You…”Nataliewasimmediatelywinded.“Idon’tunderstand.Nowy-you’reofferingtoreleasethemoney?Whatmadeyouchangeyourmind?”Thegroundseemedtobequakingbeneathherfeet,soshesatdownonanoverturnedcrate.“IsthisonlyaboutsavingfaceinNapa?Youdon’tevenlivehereanymore,butyou’restillworriedpeoplewillthinkyourdaughtermightbemarryingformoney?”
“Marryinganobodyformoney,”hesnappedinanice-coldtone.“Anobodywhoisalaughingstockwhodoesn’tknowagrapefromanolive.Tyinghimselftomylegacy.”
“Actually,it’smylegacy,”Nataliepushedthroughherteeth,angersweepingthroughheratsuchanalarmingrate,shealmostfelloffthecrate.“Mylife.”
AndshewouldbebestservedmarryingAugust.Becauseshewouldhateherselffortherestofherlifeifshegavein,tooktheeasyroad,afterDaltonhadabandonedthem.Withoutapologyorregret.ItwasmorethanresentmentthatkeptherfromoutrightagreeingtotakehertrustfundinexchangeforjiltingAugust,though.Shecouldn’tquitedescribethenauseathatroiledinherstomachatthethoughtofcallingoffthiswedding.Wassheactually…excitedtowalkdowntheaisle,becauseofthemanwhowouldbewaitingattheend?
Nowayshewasgoingtoanswerthatdefinitively.Noteventoherself.
Onethingshedidknow,thispieceofworkshecalledafatherwasn’tgoingtoinsultamanwho’dliterallystoppedinhistracksonthewayoutoftownandstayedtohelpher.
Notachance.
“AndI’msorrytodisappointyou,Dalton,butitisarealmarriage.AugustCatesisanincredibleperson,actually.DidyouknowhemovedtoSt.Helenatoopenawineryinhisfriend’sname?Hisfriendhadthisdream,buthediedbeforehecouldfulfillit,soAugustisdoingitforhim.Yes,eventhoughhe’sawfulatwinemaking.Idon’texpectyoutounderstandintegritylikethat.Youmadewinebecauseyouwantedtobethebest.Hemakesittohonorafriend.August…helistenstomeandtriestounderstandmewhenIcanbarelyunderstandmyselfmostofthetime.Hewantsmetobelieveinlove.Hesaidthat.Outloud.”
Shestoodupandstartedtopace.
“He’sreliable.Andfunny.He’soneoftheonlypeopleI’veevermetwhogenuinelymakesmelaugh.Idon’thavetofakeit.AndIcareabouthim.”OhGod,wasshereallydoingthis?MarryingAugustforsomeindefinablereasonwhenherticketbacktotheEastCoastwaswithinhergrasp?Yes.Yes,shewas.“I’mnotcallingofftheweddinginexchangeforgettingthemoneynow.Yourrulesarebullshit,butapparently…I’mfollowingthemanyway.I’mmarryinghim.”
“Myrulesmightbebullshit,butyou’regoingtowishyoudidn’thavetofollowthem.Turndownmyofferandyou’llbeobligatedtoconvinceIngramMeyerthatyou’renotacoupleofbrazencons—andbelieveme,itwon’tbeeasy.”
“Good.Iwelcometheopportunity.Arrivederci,Father.”
***
August’spalmsstartedtosweatattheverymomenttheweddingmarchstarted.
Allright,thiswasreallyhappening
Thiswashisweddingday.Augusthadneverimaginedhisownwedding,perse.Buthe’dalwaysassumedhisparentswouldbethere.Sam,too.He’dfiguredonalotmorepeopleinnavaluniformsandfewerpeopleinstatementscarves.Hedidn’tknowanyoneinattendanceverywell.Julianstoodtohisright,givinghimasteadyprofessorlookthatcausedAugustabeatofpanic.Didheforgettoturninhishomework?No,thiswashisweddingdayandhe…neededsomereassurance.Someonetosmackhimintheheadandremindhimhewasmarryingaten.
Becausehewas.Thatwaswhathereallyneeded.ToseeNatalie.Sheknewhim.Theykneweachother.Shewashisclosestfriendinthetent,forbetterorforworse.
I’llmakeitforbetter.Won’tI?
Yeah,youwill,saidSam’svoiceinhishead.You’remorethanstubbornenough.
August’shandautomaticallyrosetohispocket,hispulsecalmingwhenhefelttheoutlineofthelaminatedpicture—
Ohshit.
Oh…shit.
August’semotionswererawtobeginwith,butwhenNatalieappearedatthetopoftheaisle,thebreathquiteliterallyfledfromhislungs.Hethoughtshe’dlookedincredibleintherobe.Butnow?Whywashegettingemotionaloverafuckingdress?Ithadnosignificancetohim.Itwasexpensivelooking,withlong,flowing,sortofsee-throughmaterialonthebottomandasparkly…boobboosterontop?Itdidn’thavestraps,justatightsectionofsparklingbeadsthatpusheduphertits.
Howwashejustsupposedtoactnormalwhenshelookedthisway?Thecombinationofthedressandherhairandmakeup…thiswasabride.
Hisbride.
Shewaswalkingtowardhimonasatinrunner,allbyherself,nomantoguideherthere.Wassheallrightcomingdowntheaislealone?Hewishedthey’ddiscussedthat.Juliancouldhavedoneit,right?Somaybeshewantedtodoitalone?Natalie’sbrotherstoodacrossfromHallie,whoheldabouquetofrosesandbaby’sbreathinherhands.AlotlikeNatalie’s,butmuchsmaller.
Hisfuturewifewashalfwaydowntheaislenow.Gettingmoreandmorebeautifulwitheverystepshetook.Damn,evenhershoesweresparkly.
ThemusicswelledalongwithAugust’sthroat.
Howdidhegethere?How?Hehadnoearthlyclue,butheknewonething.Therichestmanintheworldcouldn’tpayhimtobeanywhereelse.
EspeciallywhenNatalie’seyesfoundhisandheldon,asifgatheringstrength.Shewasnervous.Sweatwasslippingdownhisspine,soyeah,hecouldrelate.Theysharedanexaggeratedbreathwhilestaringateachotherand..
JesusChrist,washecrying?
Yeah.Actualmoisturefloodedhiseyes.Toomuchtoblinkaway.
Nataliepausedeversoslightly,lookingdumbfounded.
“Sorry.”Helaughed,swipinghissleeveacrosshiseyes.“Who’scuttingonions?”
Thetentfullofstrangerslaughed.ExceptforJulian,whoAugustcouldfeelstaringathim,speculating.Corinnesatinthefrontrow,Menacecurledatherfeet,lookingbackandforthbetweenAugustandNatalieandforsomereason,hershouldersseemedtorelaxoverwhatevershesaw.Augustwouldhavegivenamilliondollarstofindoutwhatitwas,becausehehadnoideawhatwashappeninginhischest.Afuckingracket,that’swhat.
She’dbroughthimapictureofSam.
She’dprinteditout,foundthehymn.Haditalllaminated.
Untilshehandedoverthecard,he’dhadnoideahowbadlyheneededit.Again,hefelttheslightweightofitbehindhispocketsquareanditcalmedhim.Someonehadhisback.Thepersonhe’dgrowntotrustthemostoutofanyoneinhislife…waspresent.Inhisthoughts,ifnotphysically.Andhehadthewomaninfrontofhimtothank.
Thewomanclutchingherflowerswithwhiteknuckles.
Calmherdown.
“Yourtitslookinsane.”
Shelookedlikeshewantedtoclockhimovertheheadwithherbouquet.
Butatleastthebloodwasbackinherfingers.
Damn.Hehaditsobad.
ChapterFourteen
NataliewatchedinhorrorasAugustunfoldedthepieceofpaperthathe’dremovedfromthepocketofhistuxedo.Yellowlegal-padpaper,tobeexact,onwhichlineshadbeencrossedoutandarrowshadbeendrawn.
Itlookedlikethefirstdraftofafootballplaybook.
WhatinGod’sactualnamewashegoingtosay?
Moreimportantly,hadsheactuallypassedonanoffertogethertrustfundandremainsingle?Withhermoneyinhand,sheprobablycouldhaveevenaffordedtoreimburseCorinneforthecatering.Sure,thelast-minuteflakeoutwouldn’thavebeengoodforherrelationshipwithCorinneortheVosfamilyreputation,butneitherofthosethingswerestellaratthemomenttobeginwith!
Although,wow.Ifshe’dtakenthemoneyandskedaddled,shewouldhavemissedthesightofAugustinfrontofanaltar—aportableone,sure—lookingatherinaweddingdresswithtotal,unabashedawe.Itwasn’teverydayagirlwasprivytothatcompellingofamoment.
Mygoodness,he’sbeautiful,too.Abig,beautiful,battle-wornpresence.
She’dmeanteverywordshe’dsaidtoherfather.Godhelpher.Whatnow?
Followthroughonherwordtotheman.Sheowedhimthat.Hedeservedthatmuch.
Butthatwasallshecouldoffer.Allhecouldexpect.
TheywerehalfwaythroughthetraditionalvowswhenAugustclearedhisthroatandflattenedthewrinkledpaperonhisthigh.Outofthecornerofhereye,Natalienoticedhermothershiftingnervouslyinherseat.SheknewAugustwasaloosecannonwhonevertriedtohidehisdisdainforSt.Helena’seliteandeveryguestatthisweddingfitthatprofile,includingIngramMeyer.
Augustreachedforthemicrophoneandthepastorhandeditoverwithaglancetowardtheweddingplanner.Heshrugged.Augustclearedhisthroatdirectlyintothemic,sendingatrilloffeedbackthroughthetentandasmatteringofmurmurs.“NatalieVos.Wow.Hereweare.Gettingmarried.”Heturnedthepapertowardhersoshecouldseehe’dwrittenthoseexactwords,beforegoingbacktoreading.“Ipromisetotakeyoursideineveryargument—unlessit’stheoneyou’rehavingwithme,thenit’sfairgame.ButthepointI’mtryingtomakeisthatwemightfight…”Hescannedtheroomwithapointedlook.“ButGodhelpanyoneelsewhotriestofightwithyou.Theywillanswertome.”
Oh…myGod.Whywerehereyesburning?
Thiswasn’tevenreal.Whydidhisspeechfeel…important?
Whydidthewholedayfeelsignificant?
“Ialsopromisetoprotectyoufromthisdayforward.Fromcatclawstofirestodrunkpeoplewithaxes.You’realwaysgoingtobesafe.I’llmakesureofit.Youcancallmenomatterwhereyouare,andI’llcome.”
Therewasmore.
Awholesecondhalfofapage.Hecouldn’tseemtocontinue,though.Maybebecausetheguestsweresosilent.Maybehegotself-conscious.Whateverthereason,Augustcoughedintohisfist,foldedupthepaperhastily,andshovedthevowsbackintohispocket.“Wecankeepgoingnow,”hesaidwithabriefsmile,handingthemicrophonebacktothepastor.
Instead,Nataliejustdroppedherbouquetofflowers,tookalungingstep,andkissedhim.Smackonthemouth,rightthereinfrontofeveryone,herhandssmoothingupthelapelsofhisblackdressjacket.“AreyoukissingmebecauseofwhatIsaidaboutyourtits,princess?BecauseImeantit.Theyarehotassh—”
“FortheloveofGod.Shutup.”
“Done.”
Shekissedhimagain,ignoringthedangerousstingingbehindhereyes.ThekissthreatenedtogrowmoreintenseuntilAugustsqueezedherwaistandbrokeawaywithalowwhistle,hiseyelidsathalf-mast.
Theyfinishedrecitingthewordsthatofficiallymadethemhusbandandwife,butshestumbledovereverysinglesentence,thankstothewayAugustwaslookingather.
***
Apparently,thebrideandgroomdidn’tgettospendawholelotoftimetogetheratthewedding.FilethatunderinformationAugusthadn’tbeenunawareofuntiltoday.
Atleast,theynevergottobealone
EveryoneelseunderthetentseemedtobegettingtonsoffacetimewithNatalieandhewasn’tevengoingtopretendnottobejealous.Wheneverhegotherattention,someonecamebyandstruckupaconversationwithher.Men.Women.Children.Eventhecatwasinherlapforawhile,rolledoveronitsbacklikealazyqueen.
Obviouslyeveryonewantedtotalktohiswife,shelookedlikeafuckingangel.
Insixtyyears,whenhethoughtbackonhiswedding,hewasgoingtorememberthis—chasingheraroundthecandlelittentjusttryingtogetheralone.Sohecould…what?
Hewasn’tevenpositivethisweddingmeantanythingtoNatalie.Notthewayitmeantsomethingtohim.Ifhermotiveswentbeyondunlockinghertrustfund,theyremainedunclear.Andhewantedtoknowwherehestoodwiththiswomaneverytimehelookedather.Startingtoday,he’ddoeverythinginhispowertomakeithappen.
August-style,ofcourse.
“It’snicetoseeyouagain,Mr.Cates.Underbettercircumstances,ofcourse,”saidavoicetohisright.AugustturnedtofindnoneotherthanIngramMeyerstandingathiselbow,holdingaplateofcake.Whoworeastrawhattoawedding?Wasittheguy’ssignaturefashionpieceorsomething?“I’mIngramMeyer.”
Augustshooktheman’sfreehand.“Yes,Ibelievethelasttimewemet,youtoldmenottoletthedoorhitmeinthetuchusonmywayoutofthebank.”
“Youweren’tsopolite,either,asIrecall,butthat’sallwaterunderthebridgenow.”Themanwasregardinghimalittletoocloselytobepolite,butAugustsaidnothing.MakingagoodimpressiononthismanwasimportanttoNatalie.IngramheldthepursestringsandAugustwouldn’tmessupNatalie’schancetountiethem.
“Enjoyingtheparty?”
“Iam.Corinnealwaysoutdoesherself.”Ingrampaused.“Althoughnotusuallyonsuchshortnotice.”
ApricklerodeupthebackofAugust’sneck.“NatalieandIaregratefultoher.”
“Yes.”Ingramcantedhisheadtotheleft.“HowdidyouandNatalieVosmeet?”
“NatalieCates,”Augustcorrected,forcinganaffablesmile.“WemetatWineDownNapa.”God,she’dbeenbeautifulthatnight.Andeverynightsince.Backthen,though,therewasn’taspeckofvitriolbetweenthem.Justthatweightlessexcitement.“Shewastheretorepresentthevineyard—”
“Andshe’dhadalittletoomuchwine,likewealldoatthoseevents,”Juliansaid,approachingunexpectedlyonAugust’sleft.Givinghimaquicknod.“AnonlinewinebloggerwastryingtosnapNat’spictureinatipsystate,butAugustblockedtheirshot.”
DidI?
Yeah,heguessedhehad.Thewholenightwasablurofanythingbut…her.
Thewayshe’dsmiled.Hersmoke-and-flowersscent.
Howhe’dlosthisbalancethemomenthesawherandnevergotitback.
“Iwaspositiveinthatmomentwe’dbeseeingalotmoreofhim,”Julianfinished,raisinghisglassandsharingafleetingsmilewithAugust.“AndIwasright.”
Ingramconsideredbothoftheminturn.“Whatanicestory.”Hetookhistimetakingabiteofcake,chewingitwhilelookingoverthecrowd.“CorinneinvitedmetodinneratthevineyardonMondaynight.I’mlookingforwardtohearingmoreabouthowthisunioncametobe.”HetippedhisstrawhattoJulianandAugust.“Enjoyyournight.”
“Sametoyou,”Augustsaid,smilingwithteeth.
“Bastard,”Julianmutterednearhisear.
“Yeah.Someonefindaprincesstokissthatguyandturnhimbackintoafrog,”Augustagreed,rubbingatthenapeofhisneck.“Thanksforhavingmyback,man.Iforgotaboutthewholethingwiththephotographer.”
“Ididn’t.”Julianswirledhiswine.“Ialsorememberwhenshethrewwineinyourfaceandyouonlylookedangryatyourselfforarguingwithherinthefirstplace.”
“Yeah,thatsoundslikeme.”
Julianshookhishead.Sighed.“You’reinlovewithher.”
Suddenly,Augustcouldn’tswallow.
Themusicswelledinhisears.
WasheinlovewithNatalie?Noidea.Ifthekeytoherhappinesswasatthebottomoftheocean,he’dstraponsomeflippersandgogglestodivedownandgetit.Ifsheshowedanysignsofillness,evenacommoncold,hewouldconsiderbringinghertotheER.IfsheaskedhimtodresslikeZackMorrisatHalloweensoshecoulddresslikeKellyKapowski…he’dalreadyhavesuggesteditfirst.Didallofthatequallove?
Tohim?Yes.
Helovedher.Really,reallybad.
Itcouldn’thaveseemedlessnaturalforJuliantolayhisarmacrossAugust’sshoulders,buthedid.Briefly.“Ihavefaithinyou.”Hesteppedback.“Ialsohavefaiththatshewouldn’thavegonethroughwiththisunlesssomethingwasthere.”
“Thanks,Julian,”hemanagedthroughhisparchedthroat.
“Andifyouhurther,I’llbreakyournose.”
“Heardyouthefirsttwotimes.”
WhenJulianreturnedtohisgirlfriend’sside,Augustpickedupanuneatenplateoffoodfromoneofthetablesanddugintoitwithatinyfork.Coldseabasswasnotthemostappetizingofchoices,butGodknewhe’deatenworse
HowtogetNatalie’sattention.Howtoget…
TheDJboothreleasedaslowplumeoffogoutontothedancefloor.
Augustsmiledmid-chew,finallylandingonaplan.
Afewminuteslater,theopeningstrainsof“BrickHouse”filledthetentandNatalie’sshoulderbladestwitched,thenshewasturningaroundandsendingdaggersathimwithhereyes.Heonlywinkedback.Whenthelyricskickedin,Auguststruttedoutontothedancefloorandpointeddirectlyathisnewwifewithanopenchallenge.Atfirst,hewaspositiveshewasgoingtothrowtheclosestheavyobjectathishead,buttohiseverlastinghappiness,shejoinedhiminthecenterofthefloor,causingthedrunkguestsinattendancetoapplaud.
“Areyouserious?”Nataliemouthedathimoverthemusic.
Augustunbuttonedhistuxedojacketwithaflourishanddroppeditonthedancefloor,movingontothecufflinksnext.Rollinguphissleeves.Andthenhestartedtodance—althoughevenhecouldadmitthatthattermshouldbeusedlooselywhenappliedtohisseriesofexaggerateddiscomovesandjumpspins.Nottomentionalotoffingerguns.He’ddevelopedthisroutineyearsagoasawaytoshakethemalaisethatoftenovercamehisteamwhenthey’dbeenawayfromtheirfamiliestoolongand,frankly,itwasridiculous.Butitwashim,whereasthisweddingwasdefinitelynot.
NotunlesshecountedNatalie.
Thiswomanwas…him.Shewaswhyhe’dcome.
“I’mnotdancingtothis,”sheshoutedoverthemusic.
“Areyouserious?Thissongwaswrittenaboutyou,”Augustcalledback,groovingcloser.
“Iwasn’tevenbornwhenthissongwaswritten.”
“TheCommodoresmusthaveseenyoucoming.”Hesnaggedherwristandspunheraround,noticingthebeginningsofasmilecreepingin.“Ontheotherhand,Ididnot,”hesaid,leaningdowntospeakintoherneck.“Seeyoucoming,thatis.”
Hereyesshottohis,afurrowappearinginherbrow.Asiftryingtodecipherwhetherornothewasputtingheron.“TheonlyreasonI’mgoingtodancewithyourightnowisthis.Mymotherpicked‘(I’veHad)TheTimeofMyLife’fromDirtyDancingasourfirstdancesong.Idon’tknowwhatinthehellshewasthinking.Everyoneexpectsaliftattheendofthatsong.Oradancingflashmob.Sheclearlydidn’tthinkitthrough.”
“Heroversightismygain.Whichsongdidyoupick?”Herubbedhischin,asifhehadn’talreadyspenthoursponderingthis.“Letmeguess.‘You’reSoVain’?”
Natalie’smouthdroppedopen.
“Knewit.Getmoving.”Heperformedaprettystiltedversionofthehustle.Notbecausehewasn’tamazingatit,butbecauseNataliewasonthevergeofgivingupthefight.ShewasstartingtobumphershoulderstothemusicandLord,whenNatalieallowedherselftoenjoyhim,evenforjustafewminutes,itwaslikeholdingapuppyinonehandandafoot-longhoagieintheother.Bliss.“Fortherecord,though,IcouldhaveliftedyouJohnnyCastlestyle.”
Nataliewasalreadyshakingherhead.“Thisdresshasaboutfortypoundsofcrystalssewnintoit.Iwouldhaveknockedyouout.”
“I’mknownforabsorbingblowstotheheadwithoutlosingastep.”
“Shouldwetestthattheory?”
“No,butweshoulddefinitelytestthelifttheorywhenwegethome.”
Theywereinthemiddleofthedancefloorhavingthisconversation,andAugustwasprettydamnsureNataliehadnoideashewasdancing.Asifhedidn’talreadyfindthiswomanattractivebeyondhumancomprehension,shehadtogoandlookgoodcuttingarug,too.Justeffortlessandfluidandsexy.Inrhythm.Howwasitevenfair?
“You’reproposingthat,afterwe’vebothconsumedourfairshareofchampagne,wegohomeandtrytheDirtyDancinglift?”
Hewinkedather.“You’redamnright,princess.”
Shepitchedtowardhim,laughing.“Doyouthinkthey’llgiveuslollipopsifwe’rebraveenoughintheemergencyroom?”
“Maybewe’llgetluckyandenduponSexSentMetotheER.”
“Inyourwildestdreams,Cates.”
“Inyourwildestdreams,Cates.”
Nataliejoltedslightly.“OhmyGod,I’mNatalieCatesnow.”
Hisbowtiewassuddenlywaytootight.“Ithasacertainringtoit.”
Theshakeitdown,shakeitdownnowportionofthesongstartedandhehittherunningmanwhilesheeffortlesslyworkedtheBatusi.Shit,hewasfallingdeeperforherthelongerthissongwenton.Histeamwouldloveher.They’dworshipthegroundshewalkedonfornotputtingupwithhiscrapbutoccasionallygivingin,wouldn’tthey?“We’redoingthelift.”
“We’resonotdoingthelift.”
“Whatareyouafraidof?”
“Aconcussion,forone.”
Hescoffed.“YouseriouslythinkIwouldeverdropyou?Mybelovedwife?”
Thistimewhenshelaughed,hereyesweresparkling,thesoundpiercinghimrightinthemiddleofhischest.Althoughhewonderedifshewouldbelaughingifsheknewhewasn’tlayingitonallthatthick.Shedancedforanotherfewseconds,thenrolledhereyesupattheceiling.“Fine,we’lltryit.ButifIendupwithaninjury,you’llbewaitingonmehandandfootuntilI’vehealed.”
“I’ddothatanyway,ifyouaskedmeto.”
Ifthemusicwasn’tblasting,Augustwasprettysurehe’dhaveheardNataliegulp.“You’dwaitonmehandandfoot?”
“Yes.AtleastuntilIannoyedyouenoughtobebannedfromenteringyourroom.Evenonmybestbehavior,thatcouldhappenprettyquickly.”Shewasbitingherbottomliptokeepherfullsmilefrombloomingagain.Theywerecloseenoughnowthathecouldseetheindentationofherteethandthelightsheeninthehollowofherthroatthatwasproofofagooddancesession.Hishandswereonherhipsbeforeherealizedtheyweremovingand,praiseJesus,hereyelidsdroopedoncontact,followedbyameasuredintakeofherbreath.“Wefailatthelift,Ibecomeyourservant.Wesucceed…”
Hepressedanddraggedhisthumbsalongthecurveofherhipbones,tuggingherclosebytheskirtoftheweddingdress.
“What?”shesaid,thoughhecouldonlyreadherlipsashelookeddownatthemfromabove.Shemusthavebeenwhispering.
“Igiveyouaproperweddingnight,”hesaid.
Shehuffedanincredulouslaugh.“Prettysurethat’saprizeforyou.”
Hebroughthismouthtoherearandfelthisowneyelidsgrowheavyatthewaftofherscent.“Noliesdetected.I’mgonnalovegoingdownonyou,princess.”
Herquickreleaseofbreathbathedhisthroat,makinghisstonesfeelweighty,thenapeofhisneckbeginningtosweat.“That’s…yourprize?”sheasked,finally,hertonethreadbare
“Uh-huh.”Heslidhispalmsaroundtothesmallofherbackandcrushedhercloser,lettingherfeeltheresultingrumbleinhischest.“It’skindofatwo-partprize,tobefair.First,Ifinally,finallygettofuckingtasteit,Natalie.”Theybothshuddered.“Second,everytimeyoulookatmeinthefuture,you’llhavethisknowledgeinyoureyes.ThatIknowexactlywhereyourclitislocatedandwhatthehelltodowithit.”
Thesongended.
Sheshovedawayfromhimwithaflushedface.
Applausebrokeoutfromtheperimeterofthedancefloor,startlingher.AnditgratifiedAugusttonoendthatwhenshewasalarmed,shereachedforhiminstinctively,fingerscurlinginthestarchedwhitematerialofhisshirt.Beforeshecouldrecoverandstepawayfromhimagain,Augustwrappedanarmaroundherwaistandtuggedhercloser,leaningovertoplantakissonthecrownofherhead,theweddingphotographersnappingawaywithpopsoflight.
Ohyeah.Hisheartboomed.Theywereinthis.
TheapplauseandwhistlesdiedandNatalieeasedaway,leavingthedancefloorwithawarybackwardglanceinAugust’sdirection.Correction:hewasinthis.
Inordertogethisheartoffthechoppingblock,heneededtobringheralong.
Startingwithanoverheadlift.Jesus.
Onthewayoffthefloor,hepulledhisphoneoutofhispocketandstartedgoogling.
ChapterFifteen
ThelimousineridebacktoAugust’shomewasshort.
Buteffective.
Everythingtodayinvolvingthismanclassifiedaspotent.
Shecouldn’tevenblameitonthechampagne,becauseshe’dbarelystoppedtalkinglongenoughtodrinktwoglasses.Afterthey’dwalkedoutofthereceptionandeveryonethrewhandfulsofobligatoryriceatthem,Augusthadpulledherintohislapinthebackofthelimousineandproceededtopickthetiny,whitegrainsoutofherhair,hisfingertipsbrushingthenapeofherneckrepeatedly.Outofself-preservation,she’dcrawledovertotheoppositeseat,givinghimanaffrontedlook.
Butthedamagewasalreadydone.
Shewasturnedonbyherfakehusband.
Notjustbuzzingwithanelectricalcurrentofattraction,either.Thiswasafull-onmeteorshowerofhormones,thelikesofwhichshe’dneverexperiencedinherlife.Notforherformerfiancé.Notforanyone.
Sheneededtoshutthisdownimmediately.
Thiswasamarriageinspiredbyadvantages.Money.Eventuallyitwouldbeoverandtheywouldwalkaway,hopefullybetteroffthantheystarted.Thiswasnotalong-termsituationandintroducingthecomplicationsofsexwasavery,verybadidea.
Godforbiditturnedouttobegood.
Whatwouldshedothen?
Don’tpretendyoudon’talreadyknowitwouldbegood.
ThefactthatAugusthadevenmentionedherclitbodedextremelywell,let’sbehonest.Itwasn’tsomethingthattypicallyrolledoffaman’stongue—beforeorduringtheact—unlesshevaluedthewoman’spleasureasmuchashisown.ShewouldnothaveassumedthataboutthehulkingSEALwhohadsomehowgottenredweddingcakefrostinginhishair,eventhoughthey’dbothbeenhandedforks
Ontheotherhand,maybeitwasasignalthathedidexcelat…givingpleasure?
“You’rethinkingaboutmegoingdowntown,aren’tyou?”Augustdrawledfromtheothersideofthelimousine,thecatfastasleepbetweenhisfeet,purringloudenoughtodrownoutthelimo’sengine.“Howdoesitfeel?I’vebeenthinkingaboutitforoveramonth.”
Theyslowedtoastopinfrontofhishouseandthedriveralighted,hisfootstepsonthegravelloudinthesuddensilence.“Ithinkweshouldputthisbetoffuntilwe’rebothtotallysober.”
Aneyebrowwentup.“Youhadone,maybetwo,glassesofchampagne,Natalie.”
Hadhereallybeenpayingthatcloseattention?“Ifthat’strue,whyamIconsideringadangerousdanceliftwithoralsexastheprize?”
Agrinspreadacrosshismouth.“Maybeyou’redrunkonmycharisma.”
“Nope.”Herstupidheartwouldn’tslowdown.Slowdown.“That’sdefinitelynotit.”
ThedoorofthelimousineopenedandAugustexited,catcradledinhisleftarm,reachingintohelpherout.Hereleasedherfromhisgriponlylongenoughtotipthedriveratwentyandthrowhimasalute,beforerecapturingNatalie’shandandguidingherupthestepsofthehouse.
“Yousaidtherewasaweddingpresentwaitingformeathome,”shesaid,bracingherself.“Isthereabucketofwaterinside,restingprecariouslyabovethedoor?”
“EvenIamnotdumbenoughtoruinawoman’swedding-daymakeup,”hesaid,chuckling.“Bytheway,ifyoucandroptheword‘precariously’intoasentence,you’restone-coldsober.”Hesetthecatathisfeet,gavethefelineaquickscratchbehindtheears,thenunlockedthedoor,pushingitopen.NataliewastoodistractedbythestreakoffurdisappearingintothedarknesstorealizeAugust’sintention—andthenitwastoolate.
Shewasinhisarmsbeingcarriedoverthethreshold.
“Thisishighlyunnecessary.”
“It’straditionamongtheAdonisculture.”
Shesnortedandtriednottoenjoyherself.
“Natalie…”Hestoppedinthemiddleofthekitchen,stillholdingherwithoutanysignsofexertion—whichmadeherchancesofcomingoutontopofthebetfeelslim.“Igotyourpresentbeforeyougavememine.ThepictureofSam.IwasalittleslowontheuptakeandIdidn’trealize…wewereswingingforthefences,youknow?”
“Thatwasn’t…”Herlaughterwashalting.“Iwouldn’tcallthatswingingforthe—”
“Yes,itwas.”Histonewasfinal.Atadrusty.“Itwas.”
Chargedsilencetookuptheairaroundthem.“Okay.”
“Andessentially,Igotyouapieceofpaper.”
“Awhat?”
Hefinallysetherdown,butonlysohecouldslaphishandsoverhiseyes.“I’mashitgiftgiver.I’mabsolutelyawfulatit.WhenIwasseven,IgavemymotherapancakeforMother’sDay.Only,I’dbeenplanningahead,soithadbeenwrappedinmyclosetforthreeweeks.Ihaven’tgottenanybetter.”Hegesturedtoherroom.Thedoorwasopenandshecouldseeaframeproppedonthesmallnightstand.“IframedaticketstubfromWineDownNapa—youknow,theeventwherewemet?”Heshookhishead.“You’dprobablyratherforgetthatnight.”
Hadsheswallowedafistfuloffeathers?“No.Thatwasagoodnight,”shemurmured,recallingthefirsttimeshe’dseenhiminhisKisstheVintnerapron,aheadtallerthaneveryoneintheroom.Thatboominglaugh.“ButyouwereanexhibitoratWineDown.Youwouldn’thaveneededaticket.Wheredidyoufindthisone?”
Hejerkedabigshoulder.“Imighthaveaskedafewpeople.”Hecoughed.“Fewdozen.”
Ohmy.
“Let’sdothelift,”sheinterrupted,surprisingbothofthem.
“Wow.”Hisvoicewentfromsurprisedtogruff.“Youreallyswitchedgearsthere.”
Hello,understatement.Afewminutesago,she’dbeenintentonredrawingtheboundariesandbattlelinesofthisrelationship.Nowshewasthrowinghercommonsenseinthedumpsterbecauseofaframedticketstub.
MaybethisannoyingattractiontoAugusthadsimplybuilttoafeverpitch.TossintheundisputedfactthatNapaweddingscouldmakeacorpsefeelromantic,letaloneawarm-bloodedwoman,andherimmunitytohimwascurrentlypaperthin.Whateverthereason,shewantedanexcusetobetouchedbyhimandthiswastheperfectopportunity.Evenifsheendedthenightonagurneyinthebackofanambulance.
Youwon’t.
Youknowyouwon’t.
Augustwouldn’tdropher.Ever.Endofstory.Wasthatwhyshewantedtodothelift?Didsheenjoythewayhemadeherfeelphysicallysafe?Maybe.Yes.Itwasrefreshingtohavethatconfidenceinanotherperson.Ararity.Soshebackedacrossthekitchen,allthewaytothefarcorner,togiveherselfenoughrunningspace.Andthenshewentforit.
Ranrighttowardhiminaweddingdressandheels.
Themandidn’tevenblink.
Hesimplycaughtheraroundthewaistandliftedherupoverhishead,turningherinaslowcircle,givingheralopsidedsmilefrombelow.
“Don’tsayit,”shewhispered.“Don’truinit.”
“NobodyputsNatalieinacorner,”heblurted,followedbythatrich,abandonedlaughthatcollidedwithhergroan.“It’soutofmysystem,Iswear.”
“Toolate,I’malreadyfloodedwithregrets.”
“No,you’renot.”
“No…”Shesighedashesetherdown,pulsebeatingamillionmilesaminute.“I’mnot.”
Holyhell.
Hismouthwasclose.Veryclose.Thefingertipsofhisrighthandtracedhercheekbone,theirlipsgravitatingtowardeachotheruntiltheyweretradingbreaths.“Iwin,”herasped,touchingthetipofhistonguetothecenterofherupperlip.“Promiseit’llfeellikewebothdid,though.Yeah,Natalie?”
Wasshenodding?
Shelethimtakeherwristandhustleherdownthehallway,pastthebathroomtohisbedroom.Hedrewherinside,kickingthedoorshutwithadefinitiveslam.Andthentheyweremakingout.Althoughwasthatreallythepropertermforthewaytheyweremaulingeachother?Handsseekingandclutchingandexploringwhilehistonguesweptdeepinhermouth,turningherdelirious.
Augustwalkedherbacktothebedanddownshewent,histhickforearmsnakingbeneathherhipsandpullingherupthebeduntilthebackofherheadlandedonapillow.Hisheavybodypinnedherinplacelikehedamnwellbelongedthere.Andinthatmoment,hedid.Hebelongedtherelikeairbelongedinherlungs.
Hewastednotimebringinghismouthdownonhersagain,groaningwhileanglinghisheadright.Thesidesoftheirnosesmashedtogetherashishandsgatheredthehemofherweddingdresshigherandhigher.Uphercalves.Knees.OhGod.Whentheheavyskirtscrapedupherthighs,heliftedhishipstomovethebunchedmaterialoutofthewayanddroppedhislowerbodyintothecradleofheropenlegs,firmbearingdownonsoft.Pushing.Theybothcursed,Natalie’sbreathescapinginatremblingrush.
“Iwanttohavesex,”shegasped,twistingherfistsinthesidesofhistuxedopants,tugginghimhard.Intoher.Relishingthestiffnessthere.“Inevermissapill,andIwanttohavesex.”
Hisfaceburiedinherneckwithastrangledgrowl.“Natalie,Iwanttofuckyousobad,I’msurprisedGoddidn’tstrikemedownwhenIwalkedintothattenttoday.”HerolledhishipsandthefrictionmadeNatalie’svisiongoblack.“ButIcouldfuckyouuntilyourthighsturnintorubberandyou’dstillhateyourselfforgivinginwhenthesuncomesup.UntilIknowfordamnsurethatyou’llwakeupbesidemewithoutregrets,youonlygetmytongue.”
Shecouldn’targuewithhispoint.
Ifshebrokeherno-sexruleonnightone,hourone,she’dchalktheindiscretionuptotemporaryweddinghysteriaorbaddecisionmaking.Orshe’dtellherselfshe’dscratchedtheitchanditcouldn’thappenagain.Augustdidn’tseemtowanthertohaveregrets.
Augustwasalreadytalkingliketherewouldbeanexttime?
Amixtureofpanicandreliefhadhernearlygasping.
Ofcoursehewastalkinginthefuturetense.
Whatmanwouldn’twantbuilt-inbenefitstoanyrelationship?
Herthoughtsscatteredlikebrokennecklacebeadswhenhereachedbetweentheirlowerbodiesandgrippedhersexhard,sawinghismiddlefingerthroughherpanties,alongthatsensitivevalley.Partingher,wettingher.“You’dlovetogetfilledthefuckup.Iknow.ButIpromiseyou,princess,thisisgoingtobeahellofaconsolationprize.”
Thiswasn’therfirsttimeattherodeo.AfewmenhadtriedtheirGod’shonestbestdownthere.Techniqueshadbeenemployed,toyshadbeenengaged,andonce,evenediblelubehadenteredthemixtonosuccess.Juststickysheetsandtheartificialsmellofbananahangingintheairofherbedroomforaweek.ButsherememberedthewayAugusthadtouchedherintheshowerandhowhe’dgottenthedroponher,soshebracedherself,takingtwofistfulsofthecomforter.Shewasgoingtobepreparedthistime—
“Holy.Sh-sh…iiit,”shesaidonablastingexhalewhenhekissedandnuzzledher.Hedrewthepantiesdowntoherankles,threwthemunceremoniouslyoverhisshoulderintothedarkness,thenburiedhisfaceinthejunctureofherthighslikehewascompetinginapie-eatingcontest.Hisgroanheldequalpartsreliefandlust.Shecouldfeelhisfive-o’clockshadow
“Iswear,Natalie,whenI’mnotdreamingaboutyourpussy,I’mdaydreamingaboutit.I’vegonedownonyousomanytimes,imaginaryAugusthaslockjaw.NowIfinallygettoseeyouupclose.Andmyimagination?Apparentlyitsucks.”Hedraggedhistonguethroughherslitandpulledbackslightly,lickinghislips,shakinghishead.“Ihaven’tbeendoingthisprettythingjustice.Thatchangesnow.”
Hequicklyworkedthefrontbuttonsofhisshirtandtossedthegarmentaway,followedbytheno-nonsensestrippingofhistight,whiteundershirt,therigidflexofhard-earnedmusclecausingherfiststoyankthesheets,herhighheelstodigintothemattress.
“Oh,”shesaid,soundingdazed.“Iforgottotakeoffmyshoes—”
Augustpushedherthighsopenanddroppeddownontohisfront,onebigkneediggingintothebedandpushingforward.Hisopenmouthmetherfleshandhesuctionedit,theentirething,moaning,beforedelvinghistonguebetweenherfoldsagain,rakingitfromentrancetoapex,wherehislavishattentionmadehereyescross.Histonguestrokedherclitlikeitwashislong-lostlove.Nothurried,justthorough.Sothorough.Damn.Damn.
Inthespaceofaminute,thewholesituationwentfromcautiousoptimismtoimminentblastoff.Shewasonarollercoaster,crankingverticallytothehighestpointoftheride.Preparingtotaketheplunge.Herstomachturnedweightlessandaticklishthrobbeganwaydowndeep,backwhereshe’dneverfeltitbefore.Thiswasn’tgoingtobelikeoneofherself-inflictedorgasms.Itwasgoingtobuildandbuildandburyher,wasn’tit?OhGod,ohGod.
“August,please,”shewhimpered,herfingertipsflyingfromthecomfortertohishair,wrappingaroundtheshortstrands,holdinghiminplaceeventhoughheclearlyhadnointentionofvacatingthepremises.“K-keepdoingthat.Doit.Doit.That.”
Henodded,squeezingherthigh.Whywasthatintimatereassurancesosexy?
Rightthere.
Ican’tbelieveI’mthiswet.
Andhewaslivingforit,usingherreadinesstohisadvantage.Hepumpedtwohugefingersinsideofherwhileflickinghistongueagainstherclit.Oh.Mama.Washeserious?“Babe,please,”shepanted,noideawhoshewascallingbabe.Butsayingitagain,anyway,inthenextbreath,becausewhatelsetocallamanmakingherfeelthisgood?Herwholebodywassurface-of-the-sunlevelhot.Kneesshaking.Throatstrainedlikeshe’djustleftaHarryStylesconcert.Hadshebeenscreaming?Wasshescreamingnow?“Harder,babe.Please.Okay?”
Whatwassheaskingfor?
Noidea.
Buthegaveittoher,almostcompletelypullingouthisfingers,thenthrustingthemdeepandholdingthemtherewhilehislicksturnedrougher.Pinpricksoflightappearedinhervision,formingconstellationsontheceiling,andshetippedherheadback,lettingthepleasureplowthrough.Unequivocalhedonism.That’swhatthiswas.
Withstrandsofhishairwrappedaroundherfingers,sherakedherhipssidetosideagainsthismouthandhekepthistonguestiffforher,adaptingonthefly,trustinghertoknowwhatshewantedinthatmomentofeuphoria,alsoknownasthebestclimaxofherlife.Shewastremblingandmumblingtoherselfwhenshecamedownfromthehighestpeak.Augustkissedtheinsidesofherthighs,lookinglikehewasalreadyconsideringroundtwo,shouldermusclesbunchingasifhewasjustwaitingforthegreenlight.
“Redlight,”sheslurred,slappingahandtoherforehead,tryingdesperatelytocalmherbreathing.Nowayshecouldlethimdothattoheragain.Whoknewwhatlust-drunkNataliewoulddonext?Roundone:callhimbabe.Roundtwo:offertobearhimsons.
“I’dbehappywithasonordaughter.”Hegrinned.“Aslongasthey’rehappyandhealthy,right?”
Right.Great.She’dbeentalkingoutloud.
Howthoroughlyhadthismanscrambledherbrain?
Inthemiddleofkissingherthigh,hesmirked.
“Sosmug,aren’tyou?”shesaid,stillshortofoxygen,whichreallytookthestingoutofherrebuke.Hertonewasmorefawningthancritical.
Thiscouldn’tstand.Thenightcouldnotendlikethis.
He’dhavetheupperhandandhewouldbeinsufferable.She’dtotallylostherselfintheactandhewouldmissnoopportunitytoremindherhowshe’dessentiallyeruptedlikeVesuvius,calledhimanendearment,andlostpowertoherlimbs.Minuteslaterandherlegswerelimp.Restingonhisshoulders.Whendidthathappen?
Therewasonlyonewaytoeventhescales.
“Youdon’tthinkIcouldmakeyoucallmebabe?”
Hismouthpausedintheactofnuzzlingtheinsideofherknee.“Natalie…”
Havingapurposebreathednewlifebackintoherlimpbody.Sheallowedherlegstoslidefromtherockyslopesofhisshouldersontothebed,gatheringherselfintoakneelandturningaround,gesturingtothezipperofherdress.“Canyouhelpmeoutofthis?”
“I-Idon’t…”Hisvoicehaddroppedlowerthanabaritone.“Thatmightnotbeagoodidea.”
“Ineededhelptogetintothisdress.”Sheblinkedathiminnocently.“NowIneedhelpgettingoutofit.Simpleasthat.Besides,it’stradition.”
OneofhiseyebrowswingedupattheTword.“Really?”
Shenoddedearnestly,givinghimherback.
TheheatofAugust’shandsmettheareabelowhershoulderblades.Hehesitatedwithhisfingersonthezipper.“Whatexactlyareyouwearingunderthisdress?”
“Nothingexciting.”
Withouthimmakingasound,hisskepticismwasobvious.“Iknowwhenyouarelying.”
Shescoffed.“No,youdon’t.”
“It’stheonlytimeyousoundcasual.”
Nataliefrowned.Washeright?
“I’mgoingtoaskyouagain,what’sunderthisdress,princess?Ineedtobeprepared.”
“Astraplessbraandpanties.MyGod.You’reactingliketheremightbeasniper.”
“Samelevelofdangerasastraplessbraonthosetits,asfarasI’mconcerned.Iwasn’tlyingwhenItoldyoutheylookinsane.”
“Unzipthedress,bananabrain.OrI’llbesleepinginit.”Shelookedbackathimoverhershoulderandbrokeoutthebigguns.“Please,August?”shehalfwhispered,tryingtolookashelplessaspossible.“Ineedyourhelp.”
Hislipspartedonalongintakeofbreath,eyesdarkening.“Comehere,”herasped,pullingherbackwardintohislapanddrawingthezipperdownslowly.“I’vegotyou.”
Shehadhim,too.
Rightwhereshewantedhim.
Assoonastheopeningwasloose,shepushedthedressdown,liftingherhipstodivestherselfoftheheavymaterial.Sheusedherfoottoslideitoffthebedintoanivoryheap,herrearendlandingsoundlybackintoAugust’slap,elicitingagroan.
“Can’thelpbutnoticeyou’rehalfnakedinmylapallofasudden,”hehalfslurred.
“Noticedthat,didyou?”
“Traditionmeansnothingtoyou.”Hiswarmbreathslidalongherneck,knucklesfrombothhandstravelingupwardonherribcage.“Thiswasatrick.”
“Evilofme,wasn’tit?”Shecircledherhipsonhislap.“TherehastobesomewayIcanmakeituptoyou.”
“Natalie…”hewarnedthroughhisteeth.“Itoldyou.We’renothavings—”
“Youcantouchmyboobs.”
“Underthebraorover?”heblurted,thatbigchestheavingatherback.
Thecornerofherlipstickedup.Gotcha.
Shepulleddownthecupsofherstraplessbraandguidedhishandsthere,surprisedwhentheydidn’tjustgrabonorhandleherbreaststooroughly.SheshouldprobablystopbeingsurprisedbyAugustnow.Bythewayhegentlyplayedwithhernipples,dragginghisthumbsoverthem,sidetoside,hismouthbeginningtolickandnipatherneck.OhWow.Ifshedidn’tkeepcontrolofthissituation,shewouldwakeuptomorrowwithouttheupperhand.Shemightaswellraisethewhiteflagandsurrenderanyleverageshehadleft.
ClimbingoffAugust’slap,sheturnedaroundonherknees,allowingherselfasecondtosavorhischokedcurseatthesightofherbarebreasts—
Andthensheshovedhimontohisback.
Sherakedahandupandoverthedistendedcrotchofhisdresspants,strokinghimfirmlythroughthematerial.“Myturn.”
“Blowjob?”heasked,hoarsely.Openlyhopefulandvisiblyshocked.
Shenodded.
“Oh.Okay.Wow.Jesus.”Amonstershudderwentthroughhisgiantframeandhedroppedfullyontothebed,hismuscularchestrisingandfallingatarapidrate.“Whenyou’refucked,you’refucked,”hemutteredthickly,seeminglytohimself.
Hereacheddownandstartedunbucklinghisbelt.
Itshouldn’thavebeensohot.Really.Itshouldn’thave.
Butthosebigmittsfumblingwiththemetalbuckleandtheeagerflexofhisabdomenmadehertongueheavyinhermouth.Soeagerthatshewaskissinghisstomach,bitingthesinewthatraninadownward-pointingValonghiships.
“Biteharder,”hesaid,laboringtobreathe,hishandsdroppingawayfromthebelt.“Harder,please.”
OhGod.Whenhebeggedhertobiteharder,shewantedto.
Badly.
Shesuckedagustofairintoherlungsandshotforward,sinkingherteethintothemeatofhiship,drawingashoutfromAugustthatresonatedthroughherentirebody.“Fuckyes,”hegrowled.Therewasabriefpausebeforeheliftedhisheadtolookdownather.“Don’tbitemydick,obviously.”
Nataliegiggled.
Hegrinnedback.Abig,badwarriorwithaninconvenientcharmingside.Itwasalarming,theseverepinchshefeltinherchestatthatmoment,sosheclosedhereyesandlickedovertheropeofmusclethatranalonghissides,thendowntohisbellybutton,wettingapaththroughthosecoarsewhorlsofhishair.Herrighthanddelvedintohispantsand…okay,she’dexpectedthis.
OfcourseitwasXL.HewasXL.
Butshecouldn’tevengetherhandaroundhim.
“Justdothebestyoucan,”hegasped,onehandgrippingthesheets,theotheronecuppingthesideofherface.Butnottoguideherdown.Itwasalmostlikepregratitude.OhmyGod,Natalieisabouttosuckmeoff.OhmyGod.
Hadsheeverfeltconfidentduringsexbefore?She’dalwaysassumedso.Sheevenlikedtothinkofherselfasadventurous.
Butnow,withthismanalmosthyperventilatingatthethoughtofhermouthonhim,shefeltlikeagoddess.Seductive.SoconfidentinherselfandhisimminentenjoymentofherthatshewasalmostpurringwhenshedrewAugust’sshaftoutthroughtheopeningofhispants.
“Wow,”shewhispered,swallowing.“Wow.”
ItswelledfurtherandAugustbitoffacurse,hipstwistingright.“Nowthat’sthereactionamanwantsonhisweddingnight.”
Whatwasherwholeplanaboutkeepingtheupperhand?
Whateveritwas,shecouldn’trecallthedetails.Couldonlyleaninandrunhertongueupthesideofhisgorgeouslythickshaft,watchinghisthighmusclesbunchinresponse.Aburstofsteamescapedhisflarednostrils.Fromonelick.
She’dneverheldaman’sballsinherhand,butinstincthadherreachingforAugust’s,rollingthemgentlyinherpalm,andreally,therewasnowaytoavoidthem,becausetheywere,forlackofabetterword,prominent.
“Sonofabitch.I’msorry,thereisgoingtobealotofcursingheretonight.Now.Ohfuck,tugthemalittle.Rubthemfuckingrough.Yeah…oh…yeah.Nowdoitagainwhileyou’vegotthatmouthgift-wrappedaroundmycock.Yes.”
Natalie’sconfidenceclimbedhigher.Wow,hewasreally,reallyenjoyingeverythingshewasdoing.Shedidn’thavetowonderifhertonguewasintherightplaceorifshewasstrokinghimtoohardinherfist,becauseAugustwassendingaclearmessageanditreadHolyshit,I’veneverbeentouchedsoright.Neverfeltanythingthisgood.
Thatfearofrejectionorcriticismshenormallydreadedwasquitesimply…gone.
Theabsenceofthatburdenmadehermoreeagertogivehimpleasure,lipstravelingpastthepointshethoughtpossible,notworryingwhetherornottoomuchsalivawasvisibleorifitwasweirdtobemoaningwhilegivingsomeoneoral.Asifthepleasurewashers.
Wasn’tit,though?Withhim?
Whoa.
Easy,girl.
“Callmebabe,”shewhispered,gentlytracingherteethfromroottotipandwhirlinghertonguearoundhisswollenhead.“Butonlyifyouwanttofinish.”
“Babe,baby,princess,loveofmylife,I’lldoandsayanythingyouwant.Justdon’tstop.Don’tstopforme.I’msoclose.”
Okay,hedidnotmeanthewholeloveofmylifepart,obviously.Hewasjustlostinthemoment.Sowhydiditmakehernearlyswallowhimwhole,herpulsetappingwildlyinhertemples?Herlipsstretchedaroundhisamplelengthandwhenthetipofhimbrushedthebackofherthroat,hiskneesjerkedup,thehandthathadbeencuppinghercheeksinkinginherhairnow,ruiningherupdoinasplitsecond.
“Fuck,”hegroundoutthroughhisteeth.“Natalie.Fuck!”
Herfistmovedupanddowninrapidstrokes,sensingthebeginningofhispeak.Wasshestillmoaning?
Getagriponyourself.Hedidn’ttastethatgood.
Liar.Histastewassingularlyincredible.
Thescentofthatgrapefruitsoapclungtohispubichairandwiresmustbegettingcrossedinherbrain,becausesmellingthefruitwhiletakinghiminhermouthmadehimalmosttastelikeit,andsomehowsheknewshe’dneverpassupgrapefruitagainatthesupermarket.
“Ifyoudon’twanttoswallow,”hepanted,throatmusclesstrained,“nowwouldbeagoodtimetostop,butpleasedon’tstop.Please.Babe.Butifyouhaveto,pleaseletmerollyouoverandcomeonyourtits.I’maskingasanupstandingcitizenandservicemember.”
Therewassimplynowayshecouldstopnow.
Notwhenhemadehersmileduringablowjob
Thathadtodeservesomekindofaward—andshewasinthepositiontogivehimone.
Continuingtorapidlyfisthimupanddown,hermouthfollowedherhandalittlelowereachtimeandsheheardhisbreathingstutter,thegroanbuildinginhischest.Healternatedbetweensqueezinghiseyesshutandwatchinghermouthbringhimdeep,skatebacktothetip,thengodeepagain.Andfinally,theveinsonhisabdomenturnedbluntand…he…roared.Hername.
Hisspendhitthebackofherthroatsofastandinsuchabundance,shehadtostrugglethroughswallowingitquicklyenough,herhandstillbusy.Stillworkinghisslickshaft.Hisgripwastwistedinherhair,butshecouldfeelhimresistingtheurgetopushhermouthdownandholdherinplace.Andconsideringtheanimalstatehewasin,shefoundthatoddlytouching.Wasshelosingheractualmind?
Augustdeflated,hisarmsfallingtohissides.
Hissexremainedathalf-mast,stickyandsmooth.Somehowstillappealing.
“Ican’tbelievewhatyoujustdidforme,”hesaidbetweenheavybreaths,reachingdowntohaulherupagainsthischest.“Natalie,thewayyou…”Heshookhishead,plowedhislefthandthroughhishair,lookingtotallyandutterlydazed.“Damn,woman.”
Shepreened,testingapalmonhischest,herheadonhisshoulder.
Justtemporarily.Untiltheycaughttheirbreath.
“Look,I’vegotaboutthreepointeightsecondsbeforeI’munconscious,thankstoyou.SoI’mgoingtouseittotellyoutostay.Sleeprighthere.Onme.”Heleanedoverandkissedherforeheadhard,hislipsremainingthereforafewseconds.“It’sthesafestplaceyou’lleverbe.”
Sheignoredthefluttertrappedinherthroat.“Maybeit’stradition.”
“Tradition,”heagreed.
Theypassedoutcoldlessthantensecondslater.
ChapterSixteen
Augustrolledoutofbedwithasmileonhisface.
Ittookeveryounceofstrengthinhisbodytoignoretheimpulsetowhistlewhilepullingonhisdrawers.Damn.Nowthatwashowtwopeoplekickedoffamarriage.Anoralsexcompetitionwheretherewerenolosers.
Thesunhadn’tyetriseninthesky,buthewasanearlybirdoutofpractice.He’dthrowsomeeggsdownhisgullet,catchaworkoutbehindthebarn,andgetstartedonproduction.Butfirsthestoppedatthefootofthebedandadmiredtheview.Watchingpeoplesleepwascreepyashell.Noonewouldblamehimforstoppingtocheckouthisownwife’sass,though,right?Itwasinplainview.Nopantiesoranything.
“WhatamI?Amonk?”hemutteredunderhisbreath,turningatthedoorforonefinal,prolongedpeekbeforeclosingitbehindhimandheadingintothekitchen.Asquietlyaspossible,hepouredhimselfaglassoforangejuiceandscrambledupfiveeggs,eatingtheminasmanybites.Hepausedintheactofchewing,hislipstwitchingwhenasnorereachedhimfromthebedroom.Hedidn’trememberanysnoringfromlastnight.Thenagain,he’dbeenpassedoutcoldafterthebestblowjobofhisentirelife.
Nataliesnored.Good.They’ddrowneachotherout.
He’doncebeentoldbyhisteammatesthathesoundedlikeagrizzlywithacold.
Withasmileonhisface,Augustsethiseggbowlinthesinkandrinsedouttheemptyglassthathadheldhisorangejuice.Hehigh-fivedhimselfandslippedintothefrontyard,lockingthedoorandtestingittwice,nowthathehadawomantoprotect.Stretchinganarmacrosshischesttoloosenupthemuscle,hestrodetowardhismakeshiftworkoutarea,reachingintothebarntoflipontherearlight.
Thenhegottoworkonthepullupbar.
Dayoneasamarriedman.
Theirsexualchemistrywasfire.Morethanlifeitself,hewantedtogocrawlbackintothatbedwithNatalieandkissherawake.Getbetweenthoselegsandworkhimselfintoasweatgivingherorgasms.Nowthatwastheexercisehereallywanted.Butsomethingwouldn’tlethimtakeitallthewaywithNatalieyet.Notuntiltheygotonthesamepage.Hewasn’tsurehowhewouldfeeliftheyhadsexandshestillcarriedonliketheirmarriagewasasham.
Wrong.Heknewexactlyhowhewouldfeel.
Devastated.
Nofurtherproofnecessarythathewasfallingdeeperanddeeperinlovewithhiswife.Thatdamnbow-wieldingcherubhadlodgedadoublearrowinthedeadcenterofhischest.Eitheritwasgoingtopiercehisheartandkillhimorgivehimanewreasontolive.
You’realreadylivingforherandyouknowit.
Augustdroppeddownfromthepullupbarwithagulpandtrodacrosstheflattenedgrasstohissquatrack,whichhe’dboughtoffthelocalgymwhentheyupgradedtheirequipment.Heduckedhisheadunderneathandbracedtheheavybaracrosshisshoulders,steppingbackandkickingoffaroundofsquats.
HeandNataliecouldn’tbethatfarfromreachingcommonground,couldthey?
She’dsleptwithherbackplasteredtohischest,thightothigh.Theymighthavealotofshittoworkoutbetweenthembeforethemarriagewassolid—or“real”orwhatever—butshewascomfortablewithhim,right?Attheveryleast,shetrustedhiminhersleep.
Man.Hereallywantedfulltrustfromherwhenshewasawake,too.
Wanteditwithafiercepaininhisstomach.
Whatwasholdingherback?
Hismissionwastofigurethatoutandeliminatewhateveritwas.
Augusthadjustreturnedthesquatbartotherackwhenhisphonerang.Frowningoverwhowouldcallhimthisearly,heslippedhisphoneoutofhisbackpocket,hisshoulderstensingslightlyathisCO’snameonthescreen.
“Sir,”heansweredbriskly,hisspinestraighteningoutofhabit.“Goodmorning,sir.”
“Cates.I’msorrytocallthemorningafteryourwedding.I’msureyou’rebusy.”
Ifonly.Augustmentallysighed,flickingalookathisbedroomwindow.Whowouldknowifhejustcreptovertothewindowandtookonemorequicklookatthatbutt?
“It’snoproblem,sir.”
“I’mcallingbecausethetransferoffundsiscomingintoday.Twohundredthousand.”Hepausedtoclearhisthroat.“I’vemadetheinvestmentinSam’sname.”
AcordpulledinAugust’ssternum.“That’s…”Shit.Ithurttobreathe.“Youknewhimalotlongerthanme,ofcourse,butIthink…Iknowthiswouldmeanalottohim,sir.”
“Imighthaveknownhimlonger,butunfortunately,Idon’tthinkIknewhimbetter.ThisdreamofavineyardwassomethingIneverunderstood.Ortriedtounderstand,Isuppose.”ThestiltednatureoftheCO’swordsmadeitclearthattheadmissionwasdifficult.Hell,havingapersonaldiscussionatallwasn’treallytheman’sstyle,letaloneoneinvolvinganemotionaltopiclikehisson.“Maybethisismywayofremedyingthat.Afterthefact.”
Augusttiltedhisheadbackandbreatheddeeply.“I’mgoingtodomybestwiththemoney,sir.I’mnotgreatatthis.NotlikeSamwouldhavebeen.ButI’mgoingtotryanddoyoubothproud.”
“Don’ttry,Cates.Justdoit.”
Determinationhardenedhismuscles.“Yes,sir.”
TheCOhungup.Forlongmoments,Augustremainedinplacewiththephonestillpressedtohisear.Don’ttry,Cates.Justdoit.
Yes,thatwasexactlywhathewoulddo.StopfuckingaroundandcreatealastinglegacyinSam’sname.Sam’shonor.Didn’thisfrienddeservethat?Thiswasuptohim.Therewasnooneelsewhocouldmakethisdreamhappen.Nooneelsewhowoulddedicatethetime.Thisdreamwasonhisshouldersandheneededtofocusharder.Makeitareality
ThefrontdoorofthehouseopenedandtherewasNatalie,framedinthedoorway.Hairtangledallaroundherhead,hissheetwrappedaroundherbodylikeatoga.Shesquintedathimacrossthemistyyard.“I’mhavingtheweirdestdream.”Sheyawned.“Igotuptogotothebathroominthemiddleofthenightandyouwereworkingout.”
“Thisisn’tadream.”Augustflexedhisbiceps.“You’rereallymarriedtothis.”
“No.”Sherubbedathereyesandaffectionstuckinhisbellylikeaspear.“It’sstilldarkout.”
“It’sfiveo’clockinthemorning,giveortakeafewminutes.”Hesaunteredtowardheracrossthelawn,guiltkickingaroundinhisstomachoverthephonecallhe’djusttaken.“ThisiswhenIgetup.”
“Oh.”Anotheryawn,biggerthistime.“Inthatcase,Iwantadivorce.”
“Sorry,Iwon’tsign.”
Hersmilewassweetandsleepy.“Arsenicpoisoningitis.”
“You’dhavetoknowhowtocooksomethinginordertopoisonme,princess.”
Thatonemighthavezingedalittletoosharply,basedonherflushedcheeks.Hewasonthevergeofapologizingwhenshesaid,“Ican’tbelieveIsleptwithyou.”
“Wehaven’tslepttogetheryet.Whenwedo,you’llknowit.”
Why.Whycouldn’thestopantagonizingher?Hisbrainwastryingtoreachdownandclapitshandsoverhisdumbassmouth,butobviouslyitsarmsweren’tlongenoughanditcouldn’treach.“ThenIguessI’llneverknowit,”shesaid,shrugging.Abeatpassedandshelookeddownatthephone,stillinhisrighthand.“DidIhearyoutalkingtosomeone?”
“No.”
Fuck.
Hisstomachsentawaveofaciduptowardhismouth.
Hismindgavehimaclearroadmaptowardfixingthelieimmediately.AllitwouldrequireistellingherabouttheinvestmentfromhisCO.
Easy.
Sure.
He’djusttellNataliehe’dgonethroughwiththemarriagebecauseofhisfeelingsforher.Thathelovedherandwaspowerlesstodoanythingbuthelphersucceed.Notbecauseofherfamily’sinfluencewiththelocalloanofficer.She’dbetotallyfinewiththatandwouldn’tkickhisnutsackatall.
Apauselingeredbetweenthem,alinepoppingupbetweenherbrows.Shetookafinallookatthephone—he’dliedandsheknewit.
Fixitbeforeyoucrossthelineofnoreturn.
Havinghersuspiciousofhimwasworsethanweatheringalittleanger,right?
“Natalie,Ihavetotell—”
“I’mgoingtoNewYork,”sheblurted.“Infivedays.”
“What?”
Withoutanswering,sheturnedandslammedthedoor,leavinghimpantingoutinthecold,hisbreathformingcloudsofcondensationaroundhisface.Didthatjusthappen?Whatwashappening?He’dbeeneatingheroutlessthansixfuckinghoursago.Nowapparentlyhewasn’ttheonlythinggoingsouth.Theirshort-lived,unspokentrucewasjoininghim.
“Natalie,”hegrowledthroughhisteeth,stormingintothehousebehindher.Justintimetowatchherdisappearintoherbedroom,thewhitesheettrailingbehindherontheground.Thecatpouncedonthedragginglinen,wrestlingwithitbrieflybeforeshootingoffintothedarkness.“Comebackhere.”
Hetriedthehandle,expectingtofinditlocked,andhewasn’tdisappointed.
“Openthedoor.”
“Why?”shecalledthroughtheheavywood.
“Youcan’tjustdropabomblike‘I’mgoingtoNewYork’andstrutaway.”
“Oh,I’mtheonewhostruts,bicepflexer?”
“That’sfair.”Helaidhishandsflatonthedoor,willingittodissolve.“I’msorryforimplyingthatyoudon’tknowhowtocook.”
“Idon’t,”hethoughtheheardhersay,veryquietly.
Andthattinyadmissionsethisthroatonfire.“Natalie,please.Ijustwanttotalk.”
Noresponse.
She’snotangryaboutthecookingjoke,fuckwit.She’slockedyououtbecauseyouliedandshe’smorethansmartenoughtoseethroughit.“IwasonthephonewithmyCO.”Augustscrambledtoopenthecalllog,gotdownonhisknees,andslidhisphoneunderherdoor.“We’rebothearlyrisers.”
Thelongerthesilencestretched,themorehewantedtobanghisheadagainstthedoor.Butfinally,therewasalowcreakofthefloorboardsinthebedroom,ashiftingofshadows.Heexhaledinaudiblyandclosedhiseyes,thepressureebbingslightlyfromhischest.Heneededtotellhertherest.ConfesswhyhisCOhadcalled.Butheneededtoclearuponethingfirst.
“DidyouthinkIwasonthephonewithanotherwomanorsomething?”
Thatwouldbetheday.Otherwomenmightaswellbeinvisiblesincehe’dmetthisone.
“No,”shesaidrightaway,andherelaxedhisshoulders.“Ididn’tthinkthat.”
Hedroppedhisforeheadagainstthedoor.“Good.”
“Althoughtechnically…we’reonlymarriedonpaper.I-Iguessyou’reallowed,right?”
Hisshouldersbunchedrightbackup,accompaniedbyasharptwistofdenialinhismiddle.“Wrong.There’sonlyyouforme.”God,sayingthatoutloudwaslikefreefallingandlandingonacloud.“Andthere’sonlymeforyou.”
“Untilthisisover.”
“Right,”hesaid,grindinghisjaw.“Pleaseopenthedoor.”
Secondspassed.“I’drathernot.”
Augustinhaledslowlythroughhisnose,thenletitbackout.“Babe.”
Wasthatherbreathcatching?“Isthatacodewordnoworsomething?”
“Yeah.Itis.Becauseweprobablyboththinkit’sastupidendearment,amIright?”
Shehummedintheaffirmative.
“SoifI’mwillingtohumblemyselfenoughtosayit,I’mserious.Andviceversa.”Aheavybeatpassed.“Babe.”
“Oh,forcryingoutloud,”shegrumbled,openingthedoorandthrustinghisphoneoutathim,whichcausedhertonearlydropthesheetkeepinghermodest.Shegathereditbackupwithhastymovements,buthewasn’treallyregisteringanythingbutthepalenessofherface.Somethinghadchanged.Shewasn’tascomfortablewithhimasshewasbefore.Evenifshewastryingtopulltogetheracasualair.“Look,Ioverreacted.”Shepushedfiveslenderfingersthroughherhair.“Morrisonusedtobesecretive,andIguessit’sasorespot.Wewerehiredbythefirmatthesametime,sowewereincompetitionalotinthebeginning.Itneverreallywentaway.Helikedtocompareportfolios,butonlywhenhewasahead.Whenhisnumbersweredown,hehidit.Hidmoney.Insistedonkeepingseparatefinances.Anyway…it’snotimportant.”
Thefloorhadturnedintoquicksand,andhewassinking.Someofthissoundedsickeninglyfamiliar.“Itsoundsimportant.”
“Maybeitis.Yeah.”Shethoughtforafewseconds.“Myfatherhasbeenholdingmoneyovermyhead,too.MaybeIdothinkit’saredflagwhenpeopleusemoneyasaweapon.Orhidetheirfinancialstatus.Whatelsearetheyhiding,youknow?Ijustthinkbeingupfrontisasignofgoodcharacter.”Shewavedahand.“LikeIsaid,Itotallyoverreacted.Youwerejusthavingaphonecall.”
Hisstomachfeltlikeatomatothathadbeenleftoutinthesunforaweek.Holyshit.Natalie’sexhadplayedmindgameswithmoney.Herfathercontinuedtodothesame.Nowhewashidingatwo-hundred-thousand-dollarchunkofgreenfromher?Alsoknownasthesupposedreasonhewasmarryingherinthefirstplace.She’dgottenmarriedbasedonhowhe’drepresentedhimself—awinemakerwho’drunoutofcapital.
Thathadn’tbeentruefornearlyaweek.
Priortotheirwhole-asswedding.
Whatwouldshedoifhetoldherthetruthnow?Nothinggood.Shewasalreadythreateningtoflythreethousandmilesawayandhehadn’tevenconfessedyet.
“What’sthisbullshitaboutyougoingtoNewYork?”
“There’saninvestorwhoiswillingtomeetwithme.”
Augustrearedbackslightly,takingnoteofthewaysheheldthatsheetlikeashieldandhatingit.“Whydoyouneedaninvestorwhenyourtrustfundisbeingreleased?”
“Mytrustfundisagoodstart,butadditionalfundscouldmakeusmoreviablefromthejump.Anotableinvestorwouldmakeuscompetitiveandattractmoreofthem.”
“Sosixdaysafterourwedding,you’regoingtobail.How’sthatgoingtolook?”
Hedidn’tgivetwocrapsabouthowthingslooked,buthewaswillingtosayjustaboutanythingtopreventherfromleavingSt.Helenawhentheyweren’tyetonsolidground.
“I’llonlygoforonenight.NoonewillnoticeI’mgone.”
“Iwill.”
Lipsparting,shesearchedhisface.“Right.I’msureyouwanttogettheballrollingwiththesmallbusinessloan.I’llcallonMondaymorningandsetupameeting.”
“No,”hesaidtooquickly,clearinghisthroat.HandmeashovelsoIcandigmyselfdeeperanddeeper.Whatelsecouldhedobutkeephistruereasonsformarryinghertohimself?Itwasmorethanobviousshewasaboutahundredstepsbehindhiminthelovedepartment,notevenclosetodrawingeven.Thetruthmightknockheroffthetrackcompletely.“Imean,we’rehavingdinnerwithMeyeratyourmother’sonMondaynight.Icansetitupthen.”
Shetookinthatinformationwithadeepbreathandnodded.Wetherlips.“Okay.Thatworks,too.”
Hisheartpounded,hisarmsachingtowraparoundher.Therewasdefinitelystillsomenewdistancebetweenthemthathedislikedimmensely,buttheirconnectionwasstrongerthanwhenshe’dopenedthedoor.Right?
Hehadtotestthattheory.Orhewouldn’trelaxforasinglesecond.He’dbeinturmoil.
Proppinghisforearmonthedoor,heleaneddownveryslowly,bringinghismouthwithinaninchofhers.Turninghisheadslightly,henuzzledhernose,brushingtheirlipstogetherinawaythatmadethembothbreathefaster.
“Don’tgotoNewYork,princess.”
Natalieturnedherheadandtheirmouthsslantedhardovereachother,lipsopeningandseeking,tonguesdelving.Justonce.Andthenshepulledaway,leavinghisbodyhardandhisbreathcominginharshpants.
“Seeyouintherealmorning,August.”
Thedoorslammed.Again.Andhecouldn’thelpbutworrythatanemotionalonehadbeenlockedbetweenthem,too.
ChapterSeventeen
Nataliewokeupforthesecondtimethatday,butnowitwasmidafternoonandshewasgritty-eyedanddisoriented.HerargumentwithAugustintheweehoursofthemorningfeltlikeadream,butthequeasinessinherstomachtoldherno,ithaddefinitelyhappened.She’dattemptedtopeoplebeforecoffee,beforeherbrainfullywokeup—andshe’dactedlikeabozo.
Hadshereallystormedoffinasheetbecausehewouldn’tinitiallyexplainhisphonecall?DearGod.Thismarriagewassupposedtobeabusinessarrangement.She’dbeentheonetoproposeit.Andondayone,she’dactedlikesomekindofjealouslover.
Furthermore,she’dsleptinhisbed
Asfarfromabusinessagreementasonecouldget.
Nervousenergy—andadireneedfordistraction—forcedNatalieoutofthecomfortablemessofsheetswhereshe’dfallenasleeparoundsixA.M.Slowly,shecreakedopentheguestbedroomdoorandpeeredout,findingMenacestaringbackathercuriouslyfromthemiddleofthekitchentable.ButnoAugust.ThankGod.Sheneededtothoroughlywakeupandgetaholdofherlong-lostfacultiesbeforecomingface-to-facewithherhusbandagain.
Retreatingbackintothebedroomforclothesandhertoiletriesbag,sheclosedherselfintheirsharedbathroomamomentlater,sighingastheheavyaromaofgrapefruitsnuckupandambushedher.Memoriesrushedinfromthelasttimeshestoodinthisshower,gettingpleasurefromAugust.Scenes,nakedones,bombardedher,makinghermovementsclumsyasshetwistedthehandle,settingthewatertemperaturetoscalding.
Shewentthroughthemotionsofshowering—onlyallowingherselfoneortwoitty-bittysniffsofAugust’shomemadesoap—whilecontemplatinghernewroleasafakewifeandemployeeofZelnickCellar.Hertitledidn’thavetobeinnamealone.Shecouldhelpthisplacerunsuccessfully.Attheveryleast,shehadawholemonthtogiveAugustarunningstart.
Natalieturnedofftheshower,climbedout,andgotdressedinapairofshortsandaloose,long-sleevedshirt.Shewentbacktoherroom,driedherhair,andleftthehousewithapurpose:findawaytohelp.Sheshouldjuststaylockedintheguestroomandprayforhertrustfundtopromptlyarriveinherbankaccount.Butshe’dspentsomuchtimelaughingoffAugust’sattemptsatwinemakingwhenthecausewasagoodone.Aworthyone.
Andmaybeshewantedtobeapartofitsomehow.
Maybehishappinessmeantalittlesomethingtoher.
NataliestoppedintheentrancetotheproductionbarnwhenshesawAuguststandingbeforetherowofbarrels,stirringthesettledyeast.Thetemperatureinthebarnwasslightlywarmforthistimeofyearandtherewaseverychanceitwasaffectinghisprocess.Granted,hedidn’thavethebudgetforamoreadvancedfacility,buttheycouldcertainlyfindawaytocooldownthebarrelsbyafewdegrees.Hadhetestedthenitrogencontentofthegrapes?
Augustturnedsuddenly,hisexpressiongoingfromsurprisedtoslightlyguarded.“Sorry,whatwasthat?”
Voicingherprivatethoughtsoutloudwithoutbeingawareofitwasafunnewhabit.“Iwasjustwonderingifyou’dtestedthenitrogencontent.Ofthegrapes.”
Shewantedtogocloser.Wantedtopeerintothebarrelsherselfandsortthroughthetoolsonthenearbytable,justtoseewhathewasworkingwith,butAugust’sstiffshouldermusclescastaninvisiblebarrier.Ormaybeshewasimaginingthat?
Sure,he’daskedhertostayoutofthebarn.Butthatwaspreweddingandthey’dbeeninthemidstofanargument.Hadhisrequestbeenserious?
“Um…”Shesquaredhershouldersandtriedagain.“Howsoonafterthefirstrackingdidyouremovethelayerofgrosslees?”
“Grosswhat?”Afterwhatfeltlikeaneternity,Augustclearedhisthroat.“AreyoutalkingaboutthatthicklayerofshitthatappearedonthesurfaceafterIpressedthegrapesandputtheminthebarrels?”
Sheexhaled.“Yes.”
Thefactthattheywereonthesamepagerelaxedhisshoulders.“Idon’tknow.Iguess…aboutaweek.”
Problemnumberonedetected.Thegrossleesshouldberackedoffafteroneortwodays.Butshedidn’tsayitoutloud.Shesimplynoddedwhenhelookedbackatheroverhisshoulder.
“I’vegotthis,Natalie,”hesaid.“It’sallrightifyouwanttogobacktothehouse.Or…”
“Oh,”shesaid,alittlecaughtoffguard.Shewasnostrangertogoingtoe-to-toewithAugust,buthe’dneveroutrightdismissedher.“Ithoughtweweregoingtodigintotheissuesyou’rehavingwithproduction.”
“Yeah.It’sjust,uh…”Hecoughed.“It’sjustthatIfeellikeIhavetodothisforSamalone.It’smyresponsibility.Iwanttheresponsibility.”
Natalieignoredthewoundthatformedinthecenterofherbelly.JustlikeCorinneandJulian,AugustwantedthingsdoneacertainwayanditdidnotincludeNatalie.Shewasnotwelcome.Bothvineyardscouldbesinkingintotheredandstill,herassistancewouldnotberequired.Sameoldstory.ButwhydidithurtmorethatAugustwantedtomanageonhisown?Thathedidn’twantanyhelp—herhelp—withthewinemaking?ShewasusedtoherfamilybeingdismissiveofhereffortsbutAugust…again,hewasn’tsupposedtopushheraway.Itstung,evenifsheunderstoodthathisgriefoverSamcausedhimtoreactinwaysnoonecouldfullycomprehend.
Settingasidethehurt,shetookamomenttotrytoseethingsfromhisperspective.He’dgoneonthismissionforhisbestfriend.AugustwastheonlyonestandingherewhoknewwhatSamwanted.“Ihaven’tlostanyoneclosetome,butIthinkgriefcanbeexpressedinalotofdifferentways.”
August’sshouldersdroopedalittle,hiseyescastingguardedgratitudeinherdirection.“Iwouldn’ttalktotheguysaboutSam’sdeath.Ididn’teventellanyonebutmyCOthatIwascominghere,buyingthevineyard.Ididn’twantanyofthemtoasktobeinvolved.Isn’tthatfuckedup?”Herubbedathisthroat.“It’sjustthatIwasclosertohimthananyoneelseand…”
“Youwanttocarryalltheweightyourself.”
“Yeah.IfIgiveanyoneelsesomeoftheweight,itfeelslikeacopout.OrlikeI’mshirkingresponsibility.SoIjusthavetodoitalone.”
Nataliemarveledoverthefactthatshecouldexperiencesuchapiercingsenseofsympathyforsomeoneshe’doncethoughtwasabumblingogre.Occasionallystilldid.“Doyouthinkhewouldwantitthisway?Youcarryingalltheweight?”
Auguststoppedinthemiddleofnodding.“No.”Heletoutagustofbreath.“No,hedefinitelywouldn’t.Butthatdoesn’tchangeanything.”
“Yeah,”shesaidsoftly.“Youhavetodoityourway,August.You’retheonlyonewhoknowswhatthatis.”Theystaredateachotheracrossthebarnforseveralmoments,beforeNatalierealizedshewastheintruder.Washewaitingforhertoleavesohecouldcontinue?Thepossibilitymadeherspeakalittletooquickly.“Anyway,I’llletyougetbacktowork.Sorryforactinglikeajealouswifethismorning.”
“Ilikedyoubeingajealouswife—”Immediately,hebackpedaled.“No,wait.No.Ididn’tmeanthat.Ididn’tlikeyoubeingjealous,butIlovedyouexpectingmorefromme.”
Aweightslowlytraveledfromherthroattothecenterofherchest.
Hesaidthemostimpactfulthingssometimes.Andhemeantthem.
Butthepoorboneheadcouldn’tseethatsimplylettingherhelpwouldhavethebiggestimpactofall.Explainingthattohimwouldforcehimintosharingbeforehewasready.
Maybehewouldneverbeready.
“Ohwell.”Thebarriersshe’dbeentootiredtoengageatthecrackofdawnwerenowupandrunning,thankGod.Shesteppedbackwardoutofthebarnwithherchinraised.“I’mgoingforawalk.IoweClaudiaacallback—”
“Waitafewminutes,”hesaidquickly,fumblingthelongwoodenspoonalittle.“I’llcomewithyou.Showyouaround.”
“No,thanks.I’mfinetogoalone.”Beforeshecouldturnawayfromhisfrown,sherememberedsomethingandshesnappedherfingers.“Ohwait.I’vebeenmeaningtoaskyou.Doesthispropertyhaveawinecave?”
“Uh…yeah.”Heswipedawristacrosshisforehead,butthefrownremained.“Yeah,thereisanentranceattherearoftheeventbarn.Orwhatwasgoingtobetheeventbarn.”
“Youhadoneevent.”
“AndIsoldnegativethreebottlesofwine.I’mnotevensurehowthatmathispossible.”
“Halfofoneendeduponyourface.”
“Negativethreeandahalf.I’mcomingonyourwalk.”
Shewavedhimoff.“Icanfindthecavemyself.”
“Ihaven’tbeendownthereinmonths,butIrememberthereisnolightingandthestairsaresteep—”Hestartedtofanhisarmpits.“I’msweatingthinkingaboutyouinthecavealone.Justgivemeasecondtowrapuphere.”
“Don’tberidiculous.Iknowmywayaroundacave—andIhavemyflashlightapp.”
“Waitforme,”hegrowled.
“No.”
Thiswholeargumentwasbeginningtofeellikeithadahiddenmeaning,andshe’dwokenupthismorning—thesecondtime—anddecidedtouncomplicatetheirrelationship.ThemoretimeshespentwithAugust,however,themoreconvolutedtheirresponsibilitytoeachotherseemedtobecome.Andthey’dbeenmarriedlessthantwenty-fourhours.
Godsaveus.
Hefollowedheracrossthedirtpathbetweenthetwobarns,takingoffhisglovesandleatherapronashewalkedandleavingthemonthegroundinhiswake.Ridiculous.
Shepickedupherpace.
Hematchedit.
Andnowtheywererunning,becausenothingmadesenseanymore.
“Goddammit,Natalie.”
Sheroundedthecorneroftheeventbarnandspiedtheconcretestaircasewiththerustedmetalhandrail.“Whycan’tyouunderstandthatIdon’twantcompany?”
“Toobad.You’regettingit.”
“IlikebeingalonewhenI’minthecave.”Whenthatstatementsoundedconfusingtoherownears,shetriedtoclarify.“TheoneatVos,Imean.”
Hewasrightbehindhernow.Meresteps.“Howmuchtimedoyouspenddownthere?”Theywereevennow,damnhislonglegs.“Andwhatthehellfor?”
“Itdoesn’tmatter.”
“Soundslikeitdoesmatter.”
“No.”Shestoppedabruptlyatthetopofthestairsandturnedtofacehim.“Imean…itdoesn’tmatter.ThatI’mdownthere.NooneevernoticesI’mgone.”
“I’dfuckingnotice,”heshouteddownather.
Shefantasizedaboutpunchinghiminthatmoment.Hard.Shetrulydid.Thathecouldbesocaringandprotective,butstillnotrealizehowmuchitburnedwhenhelockedheroutofhisgrief,outofhiswinemaking—itwasfrustrating.Andsincewhendidshelethimhavethatpoweroverher?Howdidhemanagetosneakinsideherandrearrangethings?
“Youdon’tnoticeasmuchasyouthinkyoudo,”shesaid,pushinghimbackastep,thenstompingdowntheconcretestairstowardthecaveentrance.Afteramoment,histreadfollowedbehindherandwithoutturningaround,shecouldsensehispoorman-brainworkingovertime.Shealmostfeltatraceofpity.Almost.
Natalieopenedthedoorslowlyandwelcomedthescentofearthandmold.Beingthatthiscavehadn’tbeenusedinawhile,therewasmoredustinthestaleairthatescaped,butthecold,familiardarknesswaswelcomenonetheless.Sheopenedherflashlightappandshineditinfrontofher,notingthatAugustwasright.Thestairsweretreacherous.Buttheyweredryandthehandrailwasn’trustedasitwasoutside.Shefeltsafeenoughtoventureinside,descendingslowlyintotheunderground.
“Natalie…”Augustsaidthickly.“Holdon.IthinkIshouldgofirst.”
“Ipromiseyou,it’sokay.I’mnotscaredofabatortwo.”
“Bats?”
“Sure.Theylovecaves.Youcouldhaveawholecolonydownhere—”
“You’regoingtoofast.Slowdown.”
Ignoringhisoddtone,Natalieswungtheflashlightleftandrevealedalong,oval-shapedroom.Cobweb-coveredrackslinedthewall,empty,anddiscardedbottlesofwinelitteredthestonefloor.Moredarknesslaybeyondinwhatlookedtobeasecond,smallerroom.“Ohmygosh,thisisincredible,August.Youcouldfixthisupandhaveprivatepartiesdownhere.Oryoucouldmakeitastorageroom.Therearesomanydifferenttechniques…”
ShetrailedoffwhensherealizedAugusthadn’tansweredherinawhile.
Pausingmidwaydownthestairs,sheturned,usingherflashlighttoilluminatehisface—andfoundhimwhiteasaghost.Hiseyeswereclosed,sweatclingingtohisforehead.
“August,”shebreathed,alarmgrippingherwindpipe.
“I’msorry.Idon’tlikethis.Idon’t…”Hereachedforthecenterofhischest,almostlikeheexpectedsomethingtobethere.Thenhesmackedathiswaist,hisouterthigh.Searchingforagun,sherealized.Obviouslycomingupempty.
Thatwaswhenthesituationtheywereinstartedtoregisterdifferently.Theywereinneartotaldarkness,travelingintoanunfamiliarspace.Didthisremindhimofbeinginbattle?
Didthisremindhimof…whathappenedtoSam?
“Natalie,Ijustneedyououtofhere,okay?”heraspedhaltingly.
“Yes.Yes,okay.”
Shestartedtoretreatupthestairsasquicklyaspossible,butAugustmetherhalfwayandscoopedherintohisarms,joggingtherestofthedistanceandintothesunlight.Hetooktheouterconcretestepstwoatatime,atwhichpointhislegsjustseemedtogiveout.Stillholdingherinhisarms,hedroppedintoakneelinashadedpatchofgrassandinstinctively,Nataliecurledherselfaroundhim.Shewrappedeveryavailableappendagearoundthisshakingmanandclung,moisturepoolinginhereyes.
“I’msorry.OhmyGod.Ididn’t…itneveroccurredtomethecavemightbringbackbadmemories—”
“Ofcourseitdidn’toccurtoyou.Itshouldn’t.”Hisvoicejustsortofunraveledintohershoulder.“Idon’twantyouthinkingaboutterribleshitlikethat.”
Natalietightenedherarmsaroundhisneckandslowly,slowly,helaidthemdownsidewaysinthegrassandshecouldfeelthathisT-shirtwassoakedinsweat,hisheartstillgoingamillionmilesanhour.“Ishouldn’thavebargedmywaydownthere.IwasjusttryingtofindawaytohelpwhereIwouldn’tbeintheway.”
Heblewarockybreathintoherhairandpulledhercloser.“You’renotintheway,butIappreciatethat.”
Shestrokedhisbackwithherfingertipsandhesighed,thetensioninhismusclesebbingslightly.“Hasthishappenedbefore?”
“No.”Hecradledthebackofherskullinhishandandpressedherfacemoresecurelytohisneck,asifthepositioncomfortedhim.“No,IlefttheteamafterSamdied.Ididn’tseeanymorecombat.Icouldn’t.Therearedreamsoccasionally,butnoflashbacksorpanicattacks.Nothing…thisfuckedup.”
“Thisisn’tfuckedup,”shewhisperedfervently.
Hemadeasoundlikehedidn’tbelieveher.Alongminutepassed,hispulsebeginningtoslow.Thenhesaid,“Winemakingwastheheartofhim.Hewanteditsobad.AndIalready…Ifailedhimonce,Natalie.Iwasn’tsupposedtolethimdie.Iwassupposedtoprotecthim.”Aheavyswallow.“Hewouldn’thaveletithappentome.”
Natalie’stearsweresoakingintotheshoulderofhisT-shirtnow,atorturouswindinhermiddle.“I’mnotasoldier,August,andIdon’tknowanythingaboutwar,butIknowyourcharacter.AndIknowifyou’dhadtheslightesthintofathreattoanyoneyoulove,you’dhavedonesomethingtostopit.IknowthatlikeIknowthesunwillcomeuptomorrow.”Shekissedhissaltyskin.“Itwasn’tyourfault.”
Theyheldontoeachothertightlyintheafternoonsun,timepassingwithoutmeasure.NataliepushedthelingeringsadnessshefeltaboutAugustrefusingherhelpasfarawayaspossible,weighingitdownwithsympathyandunderstanding.Andanencroaching,never-experienced-beforefeelingthatwastooscarytoname.
ChapterEighteen
Goingtodinnerathismother-in-law’shouse.
Augustneverthoughthe’dbesoexcited.
HeandNatalieweredressedinbusinesscasualattireastheywalkedoutofthehousetogetherandcalledgoodbyetothecat.AugustopenedthecardoorforNataliesoshecouldslideintothepassengerseatandbalanceahomemadepieonherlap.Thiswasthekindofeveningthatmadethemarriagefeelreal,andgoddamn,helovedit,especiallysincethey’dbeenorbitingeachotherwithouttouchingorspeakingmuchsinceyesterday.
Whenhe’dlostitinthewinecave.
Yeah,therehadn’tbeenalotofconversationsincethey’dspenthoursclingingtogetheroutsidetheeventbarn,inhalingeachother’sexhales,herheartbeatlikeasongthathecouldfollowoutofthedarkness.There’dbeenalotofstaring,however.Alotofpassingeachotherinthekitchenoronthewayintothebathroomandlooking.Wantingtotouch.
AugustknewdamnwellNataliewaswaitingforhimtomakeamove—andbelievehim,nottakinghertobedwasunmitigatedtorture,butifyesterdayhadprovenanythingtohim,itwasthatheneededNatalietobeinhislifepermanently.Heneededtotakethissliceoftimeseriouslyandnotgetdistractedbyhersmoking-hot,one-of-a-kindrack.Heneededherforsixtyyears,notsixtyminutes.Whatelsewasamansupposedtobelievewhentheideaofhergettinginjuredmadeeverymoleculeinhisbodyscreamlikeachildwho’daccidentallywalkedintoatheaterplayingIt?
DescendingintothatcavehadbeeneerilysimilartoenteringthehideoutwithSamthreeyearsago.Thesamedustywaftofdecay,thesilenceandpitch-blacknessofitall.AndallhecouldthinkwasIcan’tloseher,too.Ican’t
Itwouldbesosatisfyingtomakeloveandforgetaboutalltheobstaclesintheirpathtomatrimonialbliss,butifhetookthatroute,he’dwakeuponedayandshe’dbeleavingforNewYork.Hisdickwouldhavegottenaworkout,fine.Butshewouldn’tbeanyclosertolovinghimback.Orbelievingtheycouldgothedistance.
Atthisrate,cheesyeightiessongswerewritingthemselves,butwhocouldblamehimwhenshelookedsogorgeousinhispassengerseat,herleftkneebouncingupanddowninanervousgesturethatthreatenedtoupendthepie.
“Hey.”Hetookhisrighthandoffthesteeringwheelandbrushedhisknucklealongtheoutsideofherknee,whichturnedouttobeabigmistake,becauseLordGodalmighty,shewassmoothandthatkneecapwouldfitrightintohispalm.Focus.“AreyounervousbecauseIngramMeyerisgoingtobethere?Becausewe’vegotthis,Natalie.Bytheendofthenight,he’sgoingtobesopositivethatwemarriedforlove,he’sgoingtosendusasecondweddinggift.Fingerscrossedonachocolatefountain.”
Sheappearedtobeonthevergeofrollinghereyes,butcuthimaslylookinstead.“Youknow,theonefromWilliamsSonomadoublesasafonduepot.”
Hesmackedthesteeringwheel.“Arewepositivenooneboughtusoneofthose?”
“Hallietookourgiftshome,andopenedandarrangedthem.Notasinglechocolatefountainthatdoublesasacheesecauldron,butthenagain,Iwouldn’tputitpastJulian’sgirlfriendtostealitforherself.Sheoncerobbedacheeseshopinbroaddaylight.”Shenoddedsolemnlyathisincredulouseyebrowraise.“Howareyousoconfidentwe’llconvinceMeyer?”
Becauseifthatmancan’tseeI’ddieforyou,he’sblind.
“I’mgreatatdinnerparties.AlthoughinKansas,wecallthembarbecues.”
Herlaughterwaskindofdazed.“Dinnerwithmymotherinherformaldiningroomisfarfromkickingbackwithacoldoneinsomeone’sbackyard.”
“Thatbad,huh?”Hisstomachbeggedhimnottoaskthenextquestion,buthell,hediditanyway.“Didyoueverbringyourex-fiancéhomefordinner?”
“Morrison?No.”
“Fuckyeah.”Hisfistpumpwassoinvoluntary,healmostpunchedaholeintheroofofthetruck.Pullback,tiger.“Imean,I’mgladyoudidn’thavetogothroughthewholestickyprocessofdetachingyourfamilyfromthedude,aswell.Youknowhowthatgoes.Youdon’tjustbreakupwithsomeone,youbreakupwiththeirfamilyandfriends.Suchamess.”
Nataliestared.
Anysecondnow,shewasgoingtocallhimonthatfistpumpandthebullshitthatfollowed.Instead,sheasked,“Doyou…knowhowthatgoes?Haveyouhadseriousgirlfriends?”
Somehow,Augustgotthesensethatthiswasadangeroustopic.“Myfatherusedtosaythatwomenaskquestionstheydon’treallywantanswered,andit’sourjobtofigureoutwhichonesaresafeandwhichonesaren’t.Andwewillalwaysbewrong.”
Nataliescoffedatthat,readjustingthepieonherlap.“Whatareyouimplying?ThatIdon’treallywanttoknowaboutyourpastgirlfriends?”
“Icanrelate,princess.IwanttohearaboutthisMorrisonprickaboutasmuchasIwantastaplegunpointedatmynuts.”
“Youasked.”
“Ilivewithawomannow.Maybeshe’srubbingoffonme.”
“Whatever.Justanswerthequestion.”Shechuckled.
Ohno.Thatchucklewasdeceiving.
Trustyourgut,son.
Orwasithisdick?BecausehisdicksaidtotellNatalieanythingshewantedtoknow.Giveheranythingshewantswithoutdelay.
“Yeah,Ihadaseriousgirlfriend,”hesaidslowly.Cautiously.“One.Inhighschool.Shelivednextdoor.Matteroffact,Ithinkshe’sstillinthehousebesidemymomanddad.”
“Whatwasshelike?”
O-kay.Nataliewasstillsmiling.Thisseemedfine.“Carol?She’sasweet,down-homeKansasgirl.Herpickleswonablueribbonatthestatefair.”
“Oh.”Thesmilelookedatadforcednow.“Wow.Shesoundslikemytotalopposite.”
Holdup.Thingsweregettingdicey.
“Whydidyoubreakup?”
“Natalie,areyousurethatpieisn’ttoohotonyourlap?Ican—”
“Imean,ifshe’ssosweet,whathappened?”
“DidIsaysweet?”ThatwasjustwhathismotheralwayscalledCarol.Asweet,down-homeKansasgirl.Itmusthavestuck.“Well.Shewantedtosettledownandgetstartedonafamilyrightaway,andIwasn’treadyforthat.Iwantedtoserve.”Herecitedthesetruthsveryslowly.“Soshegavemebackmyclassringandnowshe’smarriedtothechurchpastor.Lasttimemymotherupdatedme,theyhavefourkids.”
“Oh.”Natalieslumpedbackinherseat.“Andyou’rehappyforher?”
“OfcourseIam.Why?”
“Itsoundedlikeshewastheonewhogotaway.”
“No,thatwasmynextgirlfriend.”Hewinkedather.“Justkidding,princess.”
“Youknow,I’mholdingapie,”shesaidcalmly.Afewbeatspassedandhestartedtosensehewasn’tintheclearyetfromthedangerousnatureofthisconversation.“Butspeakingofpie,I’mjust…curious.You’reverygoodat…youknow.Indulginginalittlepieyourself.Sowhendidallthispracticeoccur—”
Hewasalreadyshakinghishead.“Natalie.”
“I’mjustsaying,itcouldn’thavebeenwiththepastor’spickle-makingwife.”
“Thisconversationendsnow.Ionlyhaveeyesforyourpie.”
“Justtellme,”shecajoled.
“No.”
“We’rebothadults!”
“OhmyGod,I…yeah,okay.Fine.IlostmyvirginitywhenIwastwenty-two.Kindoflateandthirteenyearsago,Natalie.Thegirlwasafriendofafriend’sgirlfriendandIcan’tevenrememberhername,butshe…shelookedatitandsaid,Youbetterlearnhowtomakeawomanstupidbeforeyoueventhinkofbringingthatthingintothemix.SheshowedmeafewtricksandIlistened.Okay?Andthatistheendofthisconversation.”
“Areyousureyoudon’trememberhername?”Shehadthenervetosounddisappointed.“IwashopingtosendheraChristmascard.”
“Veryfunny.”Hisfacewasonfire.“Ican’tbelieveItoldyouthat.”
“Why?”
“Becauseyou’remywife.You’resupposedtobelieveI’veexistedonlyforyousincedayone.”Inhisself-directedirritation,he’dbecomealoosecannonandcouldnolongerkeephimselffromerupting.MaybehewasworriedthathisconfessionhadputdoubtsinNatalie’sheadormaybehewasjusttiredofkeepingthetruthtohimself.Butforwhateverreason,hechosethemomenttheypulledupoutsideoftheVosestatetospillhisguts.“AndwhenIlookatyou,IswearIhave.Existedjustforyouallthistime.ItfeelslikeIhave.”
Shewasutterlybeautifulandvulnerableinthatmoment.
Alsopaleandfullofterror.
Awesome.
“Areyoujust…areyoumethodactingbecausewe’regettingreadytofakeitinfrontofIngramMeyer,or—”
“Nope.ImeantwhatIsaid.”Itwasanunderstatement.Amassiveone.Buthervisiblefeartoldhimtoreinitin.“Ihavefeelingsforyou,Natalie.”
Sheopenedhermouth,thenclosedit.Glancedoverhisshoulder,wherehecouldhearthefrontdoorofthehouseopening.Footstepsapproaching.“Canwetalkaboutthislater?”
***
Ihavefeelingsforyou.
Nataliewalkedintoherchildhoodhometryingdesperatelynottofumblethepie.Herfakehusbandhadjustadmittedtohavingfeelingsforher.Whatkindoffeelings?Theydidn’tgetthatfar.Didhemeanlust?Didhemeanhecaredabouther?Becauseshe’dalreadysortofsensedbothofthosethings,buttheyweren’tsupposedtospeakaboutitoutloud.Thatmadeitreal.Thatmadeitsomethingtheywouldhavetodealwith.
“Doyouwantmetocarrythepie?”Augustasked,restinghisfingertipsagainstthesmallofherback.Goosebumpssprungtolifeonthenapeofherneckasaresult,hereyelashesfluttering,thanksinparttotheconversationthey’dbeenhavingleadinguptohisconfession.She’dgonefromjealoustoturnedonfasterthananupside-downrollercoasterloop.Perhapsshewasintheminority,butamanwholistenedtoawoman’sadviceonsex,goingfrompupiltomaster?Thatwasunforgivablyhot,nomatterwhichwaysheslicedit.
Still,shewasn’tsupposedtogettummyfluttersoverphraseslikeIonlyhaveeyesforyourpie.Yethereshestood.Flutteringandflushedandtryingtocometotermswiththishugepresenceinherlifenowhavingfeelingsforherontopofeverythingelse.
Maybeevenherownfeelingsforhim.Big,dauntingones.
“No,it’sokay,”shewhispered.“I’vegotit.”
“Doyouwantmetocarryyouandthepie?Thoseheelslookuncomfortable.”
Briefly,sheglanceddown.“Iusedtowearshoeslikethiseverydayoftheweek.”Sheusedthepietogestureatthediningroomahead,wherevoicescouldbeheard,includingonebelongingtoIngramMeyer.“Theheelsmakemefeelmoreconfident.I…needsomeconfidenceatfamilydinners.”
Augustsearchedhereyes,nodded—andNataliewasfloodedwiththestrangestsensethathe’dseenexactlywhatwasgoingonupstairsinhernoggin.“Igotyou,princess.”
Sheblinkedupathim.“You’vegotme?”
“WhatdidIsayinmyweddingvows?Iwilltakeyoursideineveryargument,unlessit’swithme.Wereyoulisteningorjuststandingtherelookinglikeagoddess?”
Shewasblinkingveryfastnow.“Iwaslistening.”
“Good.”Heleaneddownandnudgedherforeheadwithhisown.“Igotyou.”
IttookNatalieamomenttorealizethey’dwalkedintothediningroomtogether,buttheextendedsilencefinallyregistered.Theyhadn’timmediatelytakentheireyesoffeachotherandnoweveryone—Corinne,Julian,Hallie,andIngram—wasobservingthemcuriously.Itwasaslow,reluctantpeelingofgazesandshefeltalmostdeliriousoverbeingthatclosetohismouthwithoutgettingkissed.ShewatchedasAugustfinallyfocusedonCorinne,whostoodstoicattheheadofthetable,offeringheragrin.“Hey,Ma.”
NataliecaughttheghostofasmilebeforeCorinnerolledhereyes.“Comein.Dinnerisalmostready.We’rehavinglamb.”Sheextendedahandtowardthemansittingtoherleft,whoforoncedidn’thaveastrawhatperchedontopofhishead.“I’msureyou’llrememberMr.Meyerfromthewedding.”
Theloanofficergavealazysalutewithhiswineglass.“Lovelytoseeyouagain.”
“Likewise,”sheandAugustsaidatthesametime.
CorinnepointedatthepieinNatalie’shands.“Whomadethat?”
“August,”Nataliesaid.“Obviously.OrI’dbecarryingitsremainsinaziplockbag.”
SheonlyvaguelynoticedAugustfrowningdownather.Why?Itwasnosecretshecouldn’tmakefoodtosaveherlife.Byrefrainingtodoso,shesavedeveryoneelse’s.Andhadn’themadefunofheraboutherlackofkitchenskillsasrecentlyasyesterday?
CorinneremainedstandinguntilAugustandNatalietooksidebysidespotsatthetable,theneveryonewasseated.
“So,”Halliehalfsquealed,leaningforward.“Whathaveyoubeendoingtogethersincethewedding?”CorinnecoughedandJuliansmiledintoasipofwine,andimmediately,thecurly-hairedblondejoggedbackthequestion.“I-Imean,besides…besidesgettingtoknoweachotherbettera-ashusbandandwife…”Shewinced,obviouslyrealizingshe’donlydugtheholedeeper.“Imean—”
“Well.I’vebeenworkingonmyfermentationtechnique,”Augustslippedinsmoothly.“WhenNatalieisn’tworkingonherlaptop,she’sbeenexploringthegrounds.Settlingin.”
Thatwasn’tthegreateststarttowardconvincingtheloanofficeroftheirundyinglove,andAugustseemedtorealizeitrightaway.Hereachedforherhandunderthetable,wherenoonecouldsee,andsqueezedit,appearingtrappedinhisthoughts.
Meanwhile,IngramMeyerswirledtheruby-redcontentsofhisglass.“NatalieistechnicallyanemployeenowatZelnickCellar,isshenot?Withhervastarrayofwinemakingknowledge,shemustbeahugehelptoyou.”
TherewasawrenchingsensationbelowNatalie’scollarboneandshereachedforherwater.Ahugehelp?Notlikely.Hewouldn’tevenletherinthedoor.Augustwatchedhersipwaterwithadeepgroovebetweenhisbrows,thenvisiblyshookhimselfintoanswering.“She…yes,she’sgotalotofknowledgetooffer.I’mverylucky.”
“I’msureshe’sgoingtobemoreofahelpontheadministrativeendofthings,”Corinnetackedonwithoutmissingabeat.Twowomenhustledoutfromthekitchenandstartedforkingsaladontooneofthesmallerplatesineachsetting.Corinnesaidsomethingtooneofthem,thenredirectedherattentiontoIngram.“Mydaughterhasaheadfornumbers,andI’msurethatwillbeamajoradvantageforZelnickCellar.Asfarastheproductionside,hercompanytitlewilllikelyrunalongthelinesofofficialtastetester.”
Nataliehadjustforkedupabiteofsalad,butpausedwhileeveryonechuckledatCorinne’sjest,thoughshenoticedthatAugustdidn’tlaugh.Atall.“It’strue.Iknowhowtostayinmylane.Especiallyifit’sthecheckoutlaneatthewinestore.”Morelaughs.ButnonefromAugust.“ZelnickCellarmightgiveVossomestiffcompetitioninafewyears.”
CorinneraisedaneyebrowatAugust.“Wouldn’tthatbesomething?”
“Itsurewould,”Ingramagreed.“I’msureasmallbusinessloanwouldgoalongwaytowardmakingthatfutureareality.”
CorinnegaveNatalieameaningfullook.
“Yes,”NataliesaidtoIngram.“Itwould.”WhenAugustsaidnothing,shesqueezedhishandunderthetable,andhenoddedoncewithoutmeetinghereyes.Whatwasgoingonwithhim?Heknewthisdinnerwasimportant.Well,ifhewasn’tgoingtomakeitcount,shewouldshowupforthebothofthem.“It’snotsofar-fetched,actually.I’veneverseenanyonesodedicatedtoteachinghimselftheartofwinemakingwithsofewtoolsathisdisposal.AugustcametoSt.Helenawithadreamandaseriousworkethic,whilesomanyjustshowupwithmillionsofSiliconValleydollarsandstate-of-the-artequipment,andtheynevertrulyunderstandthefinertransformationsthattakeplacewithinthegrape.ButAugustcontinuestotryandfailandtryagain—andeventuallyhe’sgoingtogetit.Iknowheis.Andwhenhedoes,it’sgoingtobeamazing,becausehe’sdoingitbyhand.Bythesweatofhisbrow.It’sgoingtomeansomethingmorethanmoney.”
She’dgottensolostinherspeech,shedidn’trealizeIngramhadloweredhisglasstothetableandwasregardingherseriously.Minusthesmirkforonce.“Weshouldallbesoluckytohavesomeonebelieveinusthewayyoubelieveinyourhusband,Ms.Vos.”
“Mrs.Cates,”shecorrectedwithaflusteredsmile.AndtherewasnowaynottobeflusteredwhenAugustwasusinghisgriponherhandtopullhercloser,allbutphysicallydraggingherintohislap.“Stopit,”shewhispered.
“No.”Hisvoicehadthickened.“Peoplesitonotherpeople’slapsatbarbecues.”
“Itoldyou,thisisn’tabarbecue,”shewhisperedback,laughterinhervoice.“Barbecuesdon’thavesaladplates.”
“Idon’tacknowledgesalads.Iseenothing.”
Outrightgigglingnow,NatalieslappedathistugginghandandAugustfinallysettledforhavingtheirchairspressedtogether,theirouterthighsflush.Finishedwiththeirimpromptuplayfight,theytoretheireyesoffeachotherandfoundtheroomriveted.
“Anyway,”Nataliesaidseriously,withaquicksmoothofherhair,“Iforeseegreatthings.”
“SodoI,”Augustagreed,lookingdownather.
Butshehadafeelingtheyweren’ttalkingaboutthesamethingatallandthepossibilitymadeherhearthammer.Madeithardtolookathimdirectly.Hewassomuch
Corinnefinallybrokeintotheextendedsilencethey’dleftintheirwake.“So,Ingram.JulianandIhavebeenlookingintothevalueofaerialcropmonitoring.Ofcourse,I’mnotsurethisistheseasonforit.We’reinarebuildingyearafterall.”
Juliansighedandsetdownhiswine.“Yes,we’reinarebuildingyear,butthat’sevenmoreofareasontomakeuseofthetechnology…”
Natalieperkedup.EversinceJulianhadbroughtupVineWatch,she’dbeenexaminingtheircompanyhistoryandplayingwithnumbersandstatistics.Tobehonest,she’dbeendoingthisresearchwhilesheshouldhavebeenworkingonstrategyforherupcomingclientmeeting.TheonetakingplaceinNewYorkonFriday—fourdaysfromnow.Shecouldn’thelpbutbefascinated,though.
“Natalie,”Augustsaidsuddenly,“aren’ttheytalkingaboutthecompanyyou’vebeenstalkingonyourlaptopforthelastfewdays?”
Everyone’sattentionswungtowardNatalie.
He’d…noticedwhatshewasdoingonherlaptop?
“Uh…”Beneaththetable,Augustplacedhishandonherthighandthewarmthwassomehowexactlywhatsheneeded.“Yes.IdidlookintoVineWatch.”
“Andwhatareyourthoughts?”Julianasked,openlycurious.
“Natalieisn’treallyuptospeedonwhat’shappeninghereatVos,”Corinneremarked.“Thetechnologymightbecutting-edgeandrightforsomeofthemorethrivingwineries,butwe’renotreadyforitquiteyet.”
“Withallduerespect,Mother,bythetimeyou’reready,you’llhavetoplaycatch-up,”Nataliesaid,shockingherself.Shestartedtowaveoffherownstatement,butAugustsqueezedherlegbeneaththetableagain,noddingatheronce.Slowly,shesetdownherforkandwetherlips.“VineWatchoffersawaytoreducethewinery’senvironmentalimpactbyconservingwaterandallocatingfertilizerinamannerthathelpseliminatesignificantwaste.Itdetectsdiseasesthatcouldpotentiallyspreadthroughouttheregionandaffectotherwineries.”Shepaused,alittlesurprisedtostillhaveeveryone’sattention.“Ithinkit’sgreatthatVosisrebuilding,butitneedstorebuildcorrectlyandthatincludesembracingnewscience.Responsiblescience.Ifitwereuptome,Iwouldn’tsimplybeconsideringthemasaserviceprovider,Iwouldbelookingtoinvest,becausesomedayverysoon,thiskindoftechnologyisgoingtobearequirementforwinemakers,notafunsideoption.”Shestraightenedherwaterglass.“I’vebeenincontactwiththeirchiefoperationsofficer.Asithappens,theyarebringingonaninvestoralready.Acompetitorofyours.Thetaxbreaksalonebeingaffordedtogreencompanieswillmaketheirinvestmentworthwhiletimesten—andtheywillbecalledvisionarieswhileeveryoneelsepilesonafterthefact.”
Nataliesippedherwater.
Noonesaidanythingforseveralmoments.
SheglancedupatAugusttofindhimlooking…awestruck?Corinne’sjawwashangingopenhalfwaytohersaladplateandunlessshewashallucinating,Julianwasn’tbotheringtohidehispride.Halliewasgleefullytoppingupeveryone’swineglass.
Itwasthefirsttimeshedidn’tfeellikeachildinherchildhoodhome.
“Well.”Herhusbandslappedahandonthetable.“Nowthatwe’reallsatisfiedthatmywifeisfreakingbrilliant,it’stimetobreakoutthebabyphotos,ifyoudon’tmind.”
***
Therewerenotenoughbabypictures.
Onemeaslyalbum?Athinoneatthat?
Augustwasoutraged.
WherewerethebadhaircutsandLittleLeaguephotos?HismotherwouldhavehadNatalieonhercouchinthedenforaweekmethodicallygoingthrougheachyearofhislifeonfilm,andNataliedeservedthatsameconsideration.ToCorinne’scredit,thelackofphotographicevidenceofwhatmusthavebeenabeautifullyimpishdaughterseemedtogiveherpause.
“Therehastobemore,”saidhismother-in-law,attemptingtorefillIngram’swineforthethirdtimesincedinnerended.Toputitbluntly,theguywassoused.They’dwonhimoverbeforethemaincourseandhe’dlethisguarddown,buttheclosertheygottotheendoftheevening,themoreAugust’sguardwentintheoppositedirection.
WhenIngramrefusedtherefillandstoodup,slappingthestrawhatbackonhishead,everyonestoodwithhim.EveryonebutAugust.
“Tonightwasapleasure,asalways,”hesaid,shakingJulian’shand.KissingCorinne’s.“TheonlythingthatcouldhavemadeitbetterwasDalton’spresence.St.Helenasurelymissesthatman.Iholdouthopethatwe’lllurehimbackfromItalysoonerorlater.”
Corinnemaintainedhersmileatthementionofherex-husband.Meanwhile,NataliesentAugustaneyeroll,andhelovedthat.Helovedthattheyweresittingbesideeachotheronthecouch,hisarmaroundhershoulders,andnowshewasgiftinghimlittlenuggetsofexasperation.Still,hisdreadremainedandamomentlater,heknewwhy.
“I’mquitesatisfiedthatthisisastrongmatchbetweentwoupstandingyoungpeople.IonlywishDaltonwereheretoseeitforhimself,”Ingramsaid,tippinghishat.“I’llfilethenecessarypaperworkinthemorningtoreleaseNatalie’strustfund.”
AugustexpectedNatalietothankhim.Tostandupandcheer.Something.
Instead,herchestseemedtobecrankingupanddown.“And…ameetingwithAugusttospeakaboutthesmallbusinessloan?Couldthatbearranged,aswell?”
“Yes,ofcourse,”Ingramreplied,havingnoideathatAugustdidn’trequirealoananylonger.No,theinvestmentfromhisCOhadarrivedinfullthatverymorning,hadn’tit?“Thoughmycalendarisjam-packedthisweek.I’lltakealookatmyschedulewhenIarriveatthebanktomorrowmorning.”
Finally,Natalieexhaled.“Thankyou.”
August’sthroatwasongoddamnfire.Theirplanhadworked.Nataliewasgoingtogethermoney.Thatwaswhathewanted.Butitputheronestepclosertonolongerneedinghim.
WhenNatalieblinkedupathimandsaidhisnamesoftly,Augustrealizedhewasstaringintospace,imaginingthedesolateworldhe’dbelivinginwhensheleft.She’dgethertrustfundandforgethisnamewithinayearortwo,whilehewasstillhungupontherealonewhogotaway.
Unless.
UnlesshecouldfindawaytoconvincehertheyweregreattogetherbeforeFriday.BeforesheleftforNewYork.Becauseonceshehadthatinvestorinherpocket,itwouldbeover.
Notreadytoadmitdefeatinanyway,shape,orform,hedrewNatalieontohislap,droppedhischinontoherhead,andflippedbacktothestartofthebabypicturealbum.
“Again.”
ChapterNineteen
Itwasastartlingcontrast,thewayAugustcouldlethergetcloseinsomeways,buthecontinuedtodoggedlyfendheroffinothers.Lastnightathermother’shouse,they’dbeeneachother’sone-personhypesquads.They’dcomfortedeachotherwithtouchesand…God,atsomepointitstartedtofeellikeshewasactuallyintroducingherhusbandintothefamily.She’dforgottenabouttheirarrangementrightupuntilIngramstoodtoleaveforthenight.
She’dwantedtoforgetagainontheridehome,butthesilencewastoodeafening.
Washewaitingforhertoannounceherreturnedfeelings?
Washewaitingforhertoannounceshewantedhimasherrealhusband?
ReadingAugustwasnexttoimpossiblethismorning,whenhewasworkinginthebarnwiththedoorclosed,aclearsigntostayout.Shewasn’twelcomethere.Anditwastoomuchofareminderofhowshe’dbeenraised.Allowedtoparticipateonlywhenitwasconvenientforeveryoneelseandtherewasnochanceshe’dscrewup.
Maybeshewouldscrewuphisoperation,evenworsethanitalreadywas.
Afterall,she’dflamedoutbrilliantlyinNewYork.
Ifhewerehurtingherintentionally,maybeshecouldfindthehearttobemadathim.
Butreally,hewasjustastubborn,determinedmanwhosawonlythegoal,notsparinganythoughtsaboutwhoheclimbedovertoreachit.Andinsteadofbeingmadathim,shemissedhim.Missedsittingshouldertothighwithhimlikeshe’ddonelastnight.Missedthesoundofhisbig,obnoxiouslaugh—andithadbeenonlyoneday.
Whethershe’dhurthimbyprotectingherselfandnotvocalizingherfeelingsorhewasshuttingherout,shestillwantedtohearthatlaugh.Shewantedthistimewithhimandshewantedtoexperienceittothefullestbecauseit…madeherfeelawayshecouldn’tadmityet.Notwithoutquestioninghervisionforthefuture.
Natalie’sattentiondriftedawayfromherlaptopandaroundthekitchen,landingonapackageofcookiesabovethestove.ShouldshemakeAugustsomefood?Heavenonlyknewthelastthinghe’dexpectwasforhertobringhimasnack.
Anideastruck.Aperfectwaytohearhislaughagain.
Sheclosedherlaptopandmadesurethedoorwaslocked,thenshespentthenextforty-fiveminutessettingherplansinmotion.
Atonetime,she’dbeenknowninthistownastheprankqueen.Butithadbeenawhilesinceshe’dplayedaprank.Funnyhowtheseriesofpranksexcitedhermorethanthechancetoguaranteeabilliondollarsinfinancing,butthatwasaproblemforanotherday.Fornow,shedesperatelyneededtolightenthetensionbetweenherandAugust.Andintheprocess,she’dgethimbackformakingherdanceto“BrickHouse”attheirwedding.
Closetoanhourlater,Natalieplatedthecookiesshe’dbeenworkingon,schooledherfeatures,andwalkedouttothebarn.ShestoppedjustinsidethedoorandwatchedAugustpulverizethegrapeslikethey’dstolenhisbike.Shakingherhead,shepickedupthecookieontherightedgeoftheplateandnibbledonit,bumpingherhipagainstthecreakybarndoortodrawhisnotice.
Whenheturned,Nataliewascaughtoffguardtofindhimlookingalittlehaggard.Sheconsideredcallingoffthewholeplanshe’dhatched,especiallywhenhesawherandbrightened,thatwearinessvanishingwithoutatrace.Likemaybehe’dbeenoutherefeelingjustasunbalancedasshe’dbeenatthekitchentable.
“Hey,”hesaid,takingaragoutofhisbackpocketandmoppinghisbrow.Aneagerstepforward.“YoufoundmyOreostash.”
“Mmmm.”Shetookaproperbiteoutoftheoneinherhand.“I’mnotsharing.Ijustbroughttheseoutheretotauntyou.”
Athercustomarybarb,shesawrelieflandslidedownhisentirebodyanditmadeherstomachhurt.Shewasright.He’dbeenoutherefeelingjustasterrible.
“Youbroughtmeoutasnack,princess.Thatcountsascooking.”
Sherolledhereyes.“No,itdoesn’t.”
“Anythingyouputonaplateisaculinarycreation.”
“Stoptryingtowalkbackyourbadcookinsults.It’snotworking.”
“You’resmiling.It’sworking.”HecamecloserandsnatchedoneoftheOreosofftheplate.“Howaboutthis?Inourhousehold,ifit’sonaplate,it’sconsideredanentrée.”
Tryingnottolooktoosmug,Nataliesighed.“Ifyouinsist.”
“Ido.”HesankhisstraightwhiteteethintotheOreoandchewed.“Hey,that’smysecond‘Ido’inlessthanaweek—”Hefroze.Chewedalittlemore.Thendoubledoverandspatthechewed-upglopontotheground.“Christ,whatdidyoudo?Replacethefrostingwithtoothpaste?”
“TheoldColgateswitcheroo,”sheconfirmedoverhisdryheaving.“Tooeasy.”
“Tellthattomyesophagus,”hechoked.
Alaughblewoutofher.
Augustlookedupandsmiled,histeethcakedincookie,turningherlaughintoafull-bodyguffaw.“Yourealizeyou’veincitedawar,”hesaid.
“Yes,sir.TheonlywarinwhichIcan—andwill—beataNavySEAL.”
Hethrewbackhisheadandletoutapunctuatedha.“Notinyourwildestdreams.”
Shecheckedhermanicure.“Ihopeyouhavegoodmedical.”
“Youaretoast,Natalie.Pumpernickel.Rye.Sourdough.Toast.”
Theywerestandingattheentranceofthebarn,grinningateachotherlikedummies.Nataliedidn’twanttoacknowledgehowmuchsteadiershefeltalready.Soshewouldn’t.Norwouldsheacknowledgethefactthatshewouldn’talwayshavetheoptionofgoingouttothebarnandantagonizinghimuntiltheygottotheothersideofwhateverwasbotheringthem.
Fornow,though…thankGodshedid.
Becausethethoughtofbeinganywhereelsemadehershudder.
She’dhavetogetoverit.Anotherday.
Natalieturnedandspeedwalkedtowardthehouse,feelingalmostbuzzedfromthegiddiness.Shecouldn’tseemtostopgigglingunderherbreath,thelightnessinherchestalmostsweepingherupofftheground.Mustbetheprank.Hadtobetheprank.
“Youknow,inmyhighschoolyearbook,IwasvotedMostLikelytoReplaceYourHandSanitizerwithGlue.”
August’slaughterboomedacrossthefrontyard.“Ohyeah?Wellinmyhighschoolyearbook,Iwasvoted—”
“ClassClown.FartChampion.GuyWe’llMisstheLeast.”
“Wrong,princess.MostLikelytoSurpriseYou.”Therewasashortpause.“IdothinkthatwasinreferencetothefactthatIusedtosneakupbehindpeopleandfart,butstill.”
Shehadtostophalfwayupthestairstothehouse,becauseshewasalmostblindedbytearsofmirth.Theywerestreamingdownherface,hersidestrembling.Thiswasdefinitelyworththetimeshe’dtakentolickthefrostingoutoffiveOreos.EspeciallywhenAugustfollowedherintothehouseamomentlaterandturnedtowardthebathroom.“I’mgoingtotakeashowerandthenit’son.You’renotgettingthebestofAugustCates.”Hetraveledhalfwaydownthehallwayandstopped.“Youdidn’tdoanythingtotheshower,didyou?”
“Whatcouldsomeonedotoashower?”sheaskedinnocently,sittingbackdownatherlaptop.“I’mgoingbacktowork.”
Eyesnarrowedintoslits,Augustturnedagainand,asecondlater,closedthebathroomdoor.Nataliebitdownhardonherlowerlip,listeningtohimopencabinetsandslowlypullbacktheshowercurtain,asifwaryofasnakejumpingout.Sheevenheardhimuncappingtheshampoobottleandtakingabigsniffofthecontents,whichshehadtoadmitwasprettywise.
Justtoopredictable.
Calmly,shestoodupfromthetable,openedthedrawercontainingtheplasticwrap,toreoffalongpiece,andattacheditacrossthehallwayentrance.ShesquintedaneyetojudgeAugust’sexactheightandlefttheplasticthere,waiting.Thatwaswhensheheardtheshowerstart,thepeltingsprayinterruptedbyhislargeframe.
Andtheresounding“Whatthefuck?”thatcarriedthoughthehouse,sendingthecatskiddingfromonedarkholetoanother.
Readytoexplodefromexcitement,Nataliesatdownatthetableandpretendedtotype,butkeptoneeyeonthehallway.Sureenough,Augustburstoutofthebathroomamomentlater,towelwrappedhaphazardlyaroundhiships,blindedbythechickenbouilloncubeshe’dhiddenintheshowernozzle.Andjustlikeadream,hewalkedstraightintotheplasticwrap,thefilmclingingtohisslimyfeaturesuntilhetoreitoff.
“Somethingwrong,honey?”sheaskedwithmockconcern.
“You’re…”hesputtered,turninginthedirectionofhervoicewhilesearchingtheimmediateareaforsomethinghecouldusetowipehisface.“You’reacriminal.”
Nataliegasped.“That’snowaytospeaktoyourbride.”
“Fine.You’reacriminalbride.ComingtoCBSthisfall.”
Allright,thatdeservedapapertowel.Whenwasthelasttimeshe’dlaughedthishard?Ordidn’tfeelliketheuncertaintyofthefuturewashangingaboveherheadlikeahundred-poundsackoffishguts?“Here,”shesaidalittlebreathlessly,standingupandhandingAugustthepapertowelrollhekeptonthecounter.“Ithinkyou’vehadenough.Fornow.”
“You,ontheotherhand…”Heswipedathisfacehastily,cleaninghiseyesoffenoughtopinherwithapredatorylook.“Haven’tevenbeguntofeelthewrath.”
“Oooh,lookatme.I’mshaking.”
“Youshouldbe.”
TherehadtobesomethingterriblywrongwithNataliethatshe’dneverbeenmoreattractedtoanyoneinherlife—andhewascurrentlywearingchicken-flavoredslimeandhismouthprobablytastedlikeminthell.Yetifhekissedherinthatmoment,shewouldhavebeenmoaningforhimtotakehertochickentowninaheartbeat.
Gulpingthroughthehumiliationofthat,sheswipedthescrewdriveroffthecounterwhereshe’dleftit,handingitover.“Fortheshowerhead.”Sheshrugged.“Idon’tthinktheymakeatoolbigenoughtofixyourpride.”
Heshookhisheadslowly.Sheexpectedahottaketocomeoutofhismouth.Instead,shegot“Samwouldhaveadoredyou.”Hisgazecarriedoverherface,asifmemorizingherfeatures.“That’snotaprank.”
“Thanks.Thankyou,”shesputtered,becauseshecouldn’tthinkofanythingelse.Orprocessthoughtsintowordswhenanerosionwastakingplaceinsideher.
Lookingsortofatalosshimself,Augustturnedonaheelandcreakedbacktowardthebathroom.“Sleepwithoneeyeopen,princess,”heshoutedbeforeclosingthedoor.
Shecaughthissmilerightbeforeitclosed.
***
Augustwascookingsomethingontheothersideofherbedroomdoor.
Itsmelledincredible.
Shedidn’ttrustit.
AfterroundoneofthePrankWar,they’dretreatedtotheirbattlestations.He’dgonebackoutsideandflippedhistireforawhilebeforeoccupyingthekitchenwithsomuchpresencethatshe’dfledlikeacowardtostopherselffromdoingsomethingstupidlikeslidingbetweenthatthick,badassbodyandthecounter,leavingtherestuptofate.
Itwasgettingdarkeroutsideandthereseemedtobesomecorrelationbetweenthesunsetandherlibido.Thedamnthinghadapersonalitynowanditwantedtoknowwhyithadn’tbeenpamperedsincetheirweddingnight.Shedefinitelyhadn’texfoliatedandlotionedherselftodeathhopingsomethingmightaccidentallyhappenagain.Ofcoursenot.
Theywereinthemidstofawar!
Whatwashisfirstmovegoingtobe?
Shedidn’tknowhisprankstyleyet.Whatifheshavedoffoneofhereyebrows?Thatwasexactlythekindofnonsubtleactionherhusbandwouldtake.Hadshegottenherselfintoodeep?WhywasexhilarationspinninginhertummylikeaFerriswheel?Whogotthismuchenjoymentoutofafakehusband?Wasshedoingitwrong?
Obviously,yes.
Apingonherlaptopsignaledanincomingemail.ShewasonthevergeofassumingitwasanadvertisementwhenshenoticedClaudia’sname.Whywasherbusinesspartneremailinghersolate?Withnosubjectline?
Frowning,Natalieopenedtheemailandfoundashortmessage:SorryifI’mthefirstonetotellyou,justdidn’twantyoutobeblindsidedthisweek.BelowthatcrypticstatementwasalinktoaNewYorkTimesarticle.
No,anengagementannouncement.
ForMorrisonandhisnewgirlfriend.
Herwholebodybeatonce,atingleatthecrownofherhead.Mostlyoutofshock.Afterthat,shewaitedforthejealousytoriseupanddragherunder.
Itneverdid.
Theywereliketwofictitiouscharactersonthescreen,smilingandtwodimensionalandsofaraway.Whatdidthosetwopeopledoforfun?Probablynotaprankwar.Theydefinitelywouldn’tdanceto“BrickHouse”attheirwedding.Butshehopedtheyhadtheirownversionsofthoseactivities.Shereallydid.Like,wow.Sheactuallyfoundherselftrulyhopingtheywouldbehappy.Howevolvedwasthat?
Thanksforlettingmeknow,Natalietypedback.I’llsendafruitbasket.
Shehitsendandsatontheedgeofthebedforanothermoment,stillalittlewaryofthetotallackofshitsshegaveoverMorrison’sbeingengaged.Whatdidthatmean?
Agruffrenditionof“LoveTrain”beingsunginthekitchendrewherattention.Shesetherlaptoponthebedsidetableandpromptlyforgotaboutthenews.Itwastimetofaceherfate.Nomoreputtingitoff.Whatevercomeuppancewasinherfuture,shewouldtakeitlikeawomanandimmediatelybeginplottingrevenge.Woulditbesugarreplacedwithsaltinaneveningcoffee?Ormaybeevenanold-schoolwhoopeecushion.ThatsmackedofAugust—
Assoonassheopenedherbedroomdoor,abucketofwaterturnedoverandraineddownonherhead.ItwaslikethatfamousscenefromFlashdance,exceptshewasn’twearingasexyleotardandtheabsolutesoakingwasn’tvoluntary.Nocinematicvaluewhatsoever
Standingatthestoveandlaughinglikeapsychotichyena,Augustsnappedapicturewithhisphone.“Photographicevidence.Betyouwishyou’dthoughtofthat.”
Nataliewasstillrenderedspeechlessbythedeluge.Nottomention,thefactthatherembarrassmentwasnowimmortalizeddigitally.Butwhenthebucketcameloosefromthedoorframeandplunkedhersquareonthehead,shethoughtonherfeet,grabbingontotheopportunityforquickrevengewithbothhands.
“Ouch.”Herhandflewtothespotwheretheemptybuckethadconnectedandsuckedinanunsteadybreath,blinkingrapidly,asifholdingbacktears.“Ow,myhead.Ouch.”
Augustwentstillasastatue,theblooddrainingfromhisface.“OhmyGod.”Hedroppedhisphoneanditbounce-skiddedunderthetable,buthedidn’tseemtonotice.“Areyouhurt?DidIhurtyou?”
Shegavealong,bravesniffandlookedatherhand,wincinglikeshe’dspottedblood.“I…Idon’tknow.Iprobablyonlyneedafewstitches.”
“Stitches?”Augustroared,stumblingintothetableandupsettingthesaltshaker.Thepoormanlookedonthevergeofpassingout.Hishandswereshakingasheturnedoffthestoveburnerswithjerkymovements,reachedforadishtowel,andstompedtowardher,chestheavingupanddown.“Comehere,princess.Ohfuck,I’msosorry.Thebucketwasn’tsupposedtofall.”
“I’mfeelingalittlefaint,”sherasped,pitchingtoonesideandclingingtothedoorframeofherbedroom.“Doyouthinkit’saconcussion?”
“No,”hebreathed,horrified.Whiteasasheet.“No,no,no…”
Okay.Jig’sup.Themanhadsufferedenough.
Rightbeforehecouldtugawayherhandtoexaminethenonexistentwoundontopofherhead,Nataliesmiled.“Gotcha,babe.”
Itwaslikewatchinganairmattressdeflateinfastmotion.Theairjustsortofblewoutofhimandhedoubledover,bracinghishandsonhisknees.“That’snotfunny,Natalie,”hewheezed.“IthoughtIsplityourheadopen.”
“Youdo.Butonlywithmigraines.”
Heliftedhishead,hiscomplexionstilllackingincolor.“You’rereallyokay?”
Suddenlyherheartweighedfourhundredpounds.
Andwasroughlythesizeofawatermelon,thewholethingseemingtopryapartherribsandprotrudefromherchest.Perhapssheneededanambulanceafterall.“Yes,I’mokay.Iwasjustgettingyouback.”
“Considermegotten.”
Hecommencedabreathingexercise—in,in,out,in,in,out—shesuspectedwasdesignedtocalmhim.Anditwasjustbarelyworking.Cometothinkofit,shewashavingaprettydifficulttimebreathing,too,herheartgallopinglikeaDerbywinner.
I’mfallingformyhusband.
Hardandfast.
Mightevenbewellpast…fallenforhimterritory.
Ohshit.
Andhewiggledalittledeeperintoherheartwhenhestraightenedsuddenlyandcrowdedherintothedoorway,brushingaroundthewethaironherheadgently,lookingdownatherfromabove.“Ijustneedtocheckformyself,”hesaid,hiswarmbreathonherforehead.“Idon’tseeanything.ThankGod.”Heclosedhiseyes,pressedtheirforeheadstogether.“Youscaredforty-sixyearsoffmylife.”
“That’saveryspecificnumber,”shewhispered,staringathismouth.
Diditalwayslooksodelicious?
Yes.Always.
“That’sthenumberoffightswe’vehadsincewemet,”hesaid,almosttohimself,hislipslingeringonherforehead.Kissingthecenterandremainingthereforlongseconds.“Which,coincidentally,isthenumberoftimesI’vewantedtokickmyselfafterward.Andbadnews,Idon’tseemelearningmylessonanytimesoon.I’magluttonforpunishment.”Hebrushedherhairbackfromhershoulder.“Yours.”
Herkneeswobbledliketheymightsendhersplatteringtotheground.“I’lldomybesttokeepmetingitout.”
“Good.”
Nataliewetlipsthathadbecomeparched,despitethefactthatabucketofwaterhadbeenoverturnedonherhead.“Ibettergetoutofthesewetclothes.”Shetiltedbackherheadsotheirmouthscouldrestontopofeachotherandjustlikethat,theywerestrugglingtobreathe.“Wanttohelpme?”
Augustswallowedaudibly,thentookalonginhaleandexhalethroughhisnose.“It’snotaquestionofwantingto.Ialwaysfuckingwantyou.Everyminute,everyhouroftheday.”Thewordsweren’tevenfinishedcomingoutofhismouthwhenshekissedhim,theirmutualgroanscomingfromdeepwithin.“ButItoldyouthenightwegotmarried.Beforewegothere,Iwanttoknowyou’renotgoingtowakeupwithregrets.Don’tyoudarerolloverinmybedtomorrowandactlikethiswasaone-nightstand.It’snot.”
“Whatisit?”shewhisperedagainsthismouth,almostterrifiedoftheanswer.
Funny,hedidn’tlookscaredatall.Onlydetermined.“We’regoingtofindout.”Thedeterminationflickeredatouchandsomevulnerabilityshonethrough.“Tellmehowyoufeelaboutme,Natalie.”
Herheartbeatspreadtoherentirebody,pulsingineverylimb,everyhairfollicle.“OhmyGod,whojustputssomebodyonthespotlikethis?”
“I’mdonewondering.”Hebackedherintothebedroomoneslowstepatatime.Mouthtomouth.Hisfingertipstracedgentlydownthesidesofherface,herthroat.ThentheytookholdofthenecklineofherT-shirtandtoreitstraightdownthemiddle,makinghercryout.“I’mdoneobsessingaboutyoueverywakingsecondandhavingnoideaifyou’reobsessingaboutme,too.”
Shestareddownatherrippedshirtinshock,eyesshootingbackuptomeethisincreasinglyintenseones.“Doyouwantmetoobsessaboutyou?”
“Yes.”Withgrittedteeth,heunsnappedthefrontofherbraandtuggeditdownherarms,throwingitcleartotheothersideoftheroom,alongwiththeremainsofhershirt.“Maybeyou’vebeenwithmeninthepastwhodon’twanttolabelshitorbetieddown.Well,that’snotme.Notwhenitcomestoyou.Iwantyoutocounttheminutesuntilwe’rebreathingthesameairagain,thewayIdo.”
Therewasquicksandshiftingbeneathherfeet,preparingtosuckherdown.“W-weonlymarriedformoney—”
Hismouthstampeddownonhersatanangleandshewentfromprotestingtheexistenceofherownfeelingstokissinghimeagerly,whimperingintothepossessivestrokeofhistongue.“Gosellthatliesomewhereelse,princess,”herasped,pullingheryogapantsandpantiesdowntoherknees,dragginghisnoseupwardoverherstomachandbetweenherbreastsonthewaybacktolookingherstraightintheeye.“NowamIjustgivingyouheadagain?Orareyougoingtoadmithowyoufeelaboutmesowecanfucklikeanimals?”
Hersexgaveaverydramatic,veryenthusiasticclenchinfavorofthelatter.Butspeakingofanimals,herheartwasstillhammeringlikeajackrabbit.Justadmithowshefelt?Whodidthat?ObviouslypeoplewhohadneverbeenonthereceivingendofaNothankyou,I’llpass
Nataliestoodpoisedontheedgeofacanyonbeingaskedtowalkatightropetotheotherside.Butthelongershelookedintohisseekingeyes,thesteadierthatropebecameuntilitturnedintoafull-fledgedbridge.“Idoit,too,”shewhisperedinarush.“Icounttheminutesuntilwe’rebreathingthesameairagain.”
“Okay.”Hewrappedhisarmsaroundher,hisrelievedexhaleblowingherhairinseveraldirections.“Damn.Okay.Thatwasn’tsohard,wasit?”
“That?Waslikestandinginthewoodssmearedinhoney.”
Hischucklewashalting.“Bravegirl.”Hesmoothedhispalmsdownhernakedhips,backupthesidesofherribcage,hislipsmovingonthesideofherneck.“Mygirl.”
Inthatmoment,itwasthetruth.Herbodybelongedtohim.Herheartlaydefenseless.
Justaskingtobemauled.
Whenhisstronghandsfinallyclosedaroundherbreasts,Natalie’snecklostpower,herheadtippingbackonabreathymoan.Inoneswiftmovement,hisropyforearmwrappedaroundthesmallofherbackandhekneltonthemattress,droppingherdownbeneathhim.Heryogapantswerearoundherknees.Nevertakinghiseyesoffher,hepulledherpantsandunderweardowntheremainingdistance,lettingthemslapwetlyontothefloor.Theyjoinedtheragthatusedtobehershirtashelickedhernipples.Justonceeachandshewasshaking
“HaveItoldyoulatelythatyourtitsareinsane?”hemurmuredintothevalleybetweenthetwomounds,histhumbsbrushingcirclesaroundthepuckeredpeaks.
“Onourweddingday.”
Heliftedhishead,grinning.“Tookawaythenerves,didn’tit?”
Don’tsmileback.Don’t—
Toolate.Shewasbeaminglikeaheadlight.“Itshiftedmypriorities.Fromtryingnottofainttotryingnottosockyouinthejunk.”
“Myjunkisdeeplygrateful.”Eyestwinkling,hewinkedather.“AndIpromisetomakeyoudeeplygratefulformyjunk.”
Thelaughsnuckoutbeforeshecouldtrapit.“You’resuchabozo.”
“I’myourbozo.”Thewordswerehalfmuffledbecauseheclosedhiswetmoutharoundherrightnippleandsuctionedlightly.HistongueprovidedfrictionatthesametimeandGod,God,herlegsjerkeduparoundhiships,herbackarchinginahalf-moonshape.Heusedhismouthonherbreastsforsolong,lappingandbitingsoftlyandthumbingherpeaks,shealmostremindedhimthey’dagreedonsex.Butwhenshestartedtogrowhotandagitated,sherealized—onceagain—thatthismanknewexactlywhathewasdoing.
“August.”
Hishandslidupandcuppedherface,tonguestillworking,working,workingherswollennippleandnow…therewassomekindoftuggingcordbetweensaidnippleandhercore.Itvibratedandhummed,sendingreverberationsthroughoutherbody.“Hmmm?”
“Canyouplease.”
“Please?”
“Beinsidemenow?”
Themovementsofhistongueweresoslowandsavoring,shewascaughtoffguardwhenheliftedhisheadandshefoundhispupilstakingupnearlyhisentireirises.“I’mnotenteringthepalacewithoutpayinghomagetothequeen,Natalie,”hesaid,outofbreath.
“Whatdoesthatmean?”
“Itmeans…”Helickedupthehollowofherthroat,allthewaytohermouth,capturingitinablisteringkiss.“IthoughtI’dblownmychancetohaveyoulikethis.I’mnotsurehowIwasabletogoonliving.Stillamystery.”Hesankhisfingersintoherhair,angledherhead,andtookhermouthinseveralslantingkissesthatscrambledherbrain,allwhilehisbig,fullydressedbodykeptherpinnedhardtothemattress,histhicknesstrappedbetweentheirbellieslikeataunt.“Bottomline,I’mnotgoinginlikesomeeageryoungpuppy.BadasIwanttounzipmyjeansandgiveyouhell,princess,ifyourlifedoesn’tflashinfrontofyoureyeswhenIfinallygetmycockinsideyou,Idon’tdeservetocallmyselfyourhusband.”
Nataliementallyreeled.
Openedhermouthtodisagreethatunzippingandgivinghellwasanegativething.
ButAugusthadalreadystrippedoffhisshirt—oh,themuscle—androlledoverontohisback.“Comehere.”Heranhistonguealonghisbottomlip,thatbroadchestbeginningtoheavefasterandfaster.“Letmelickit.”
Herbrainhadgoneoffline.“Idon’tunderstand.”
Augusteitherdidn’thearherorwaschoosingtoignoreherconfusion,becausehisteethweresinkingintothatglossybottomlipnow,hispalmstrokingtheridgeinhisjeans.“Christ,justthinkingaboutyousittingonmyfacemightfinishme.”
“Youwantmeto—”
“I’mnotabovebegging.”
Forgetthefactthatshe’dneverdonethatbefore.Notfromthetopposition.Butshe’dexperiencedtheforceofnaturethatwasAugust’stongueontheirweddingnightandthememorieswerenotjustglorious,theywerefresh.Hedidn’tneedtobeg.Hedidn’tevenneedtoaskhertwice.Shestraddledthemile-widemountainrangethatwashischest,whimperingwhenhetooktworoughhandfulsofherbacksideanddraggedherontohismouth.
Dragged.
Grindingherthere.Onhisstifftongue.
Andnow,ladiesandgentlemen,shewouldneveragainunderestimatetheeffectsofnipplestimulation.Therewasnoawkwardmomentoreasingintotheactofbeingpleasuredfrombelow.Notwhenhe’dalreadygottenherthiswet,thissensitive.Therewereonlythedesperatewrithesofherhips,theshallow,hiccuppingsoundsemanatingfromherthroat,August’smoans,andthewildurgencytoclimax.
Heenteredherwithhistongue,pusheditasdeepaspossible—andherwombitselfconstricted,herthighsgoingrubbery.“OhmyGod.OhmyGod.”Hismiddlefingerteasedherrearentrance,thatmagicaltonguedrivingin,out,in—andgoodbyereality,shewasnowaresidentofthestars.SherodeonarainbowunicornovertheMilkyWayandwavedatanastronaut.Herbodywasstillinthebedroom,thighssqueezingthesidesofAugust’shead,fingersclutchingshakilyattheheadboardwhilewaveafterwaveofpleasurerocketedthroughherlowerbody,tighteningandreleasingmuscles,brutalizingherinthebestwaypossible.
Evenaftertheorgasmcrestedandshecamebackdowntheotherside,shewasstilltrembling,herskinspeckledinsweat.SheactuallyhadtoblinkseveraltimestoalignhervisionagainandlookdownintoAugust’sface.Andhewassoturnedonbyherreactiontowhatthey’ddone,sovisiblyheated,thatsomehow,againstallodds,herownlustrosebacktothesurface.Unrecognizable,eagersoundsfellfromhermouthasshescootedbackwarddownhisbodyandfoundhe’dalreadyloweredhiszipper.Takenhisshaftinhishand.
“Thepill,yousaid?”
“Pill.Yes.”
“DoctorsaidI’mgood,Natalie.”
“Same.”
“Nocondom?”
Allshecoulddowasshakeherhead.
“Thensit,”hegrowledthroughhisteeth.
Speakingofeageryoungpuppies,that’sexactlywhatshedid—takinghisthicknessallthewayhome,notstoppinguntilheshoutedhername.
Deep,sodeep.
Fragmentsoflightexplodedbehindhereyes,herhipsmovingoftheirownvolition.Inasplitsecond,theywerefulfillinghispromiseoffuckinglikeanimals,hersex,neverwetterinitslife,bringinghiminsideoverandoveragain,herbuttslappingdownonthetopofhisthick,hairythighs.
“Don’tstop,don’tfuckingstop,”hepanted,fingertipsdiggingintothemeatofherbuttcheeks,hislowerbodyslammingupwardtomeetthebreathlessbucksofherhips.“Ifyousqueezeuparoundmytonguethatgoddamntightwhenyoucome,can’twaittofeelhowyougripthatdick.You’regoingtorideituntilIfindout.”
“Uh-huh.Yes,August.”
Ohyeah.Thiswasthenewher,apparently.Obedientasallget-out.
Howelsewasshesupposedtobehavewhenthismanhadunlockedsecretstoherpleasurethatshedidn’tevenknowwerebeingheldprisoner?Hewasmagic.Andhiserectpenis,Godhelpher,waspureperfection.NormallyNataliewouldhavecalledittoolarge.Shehadcalleditthatatfirstglance.Buttheforeplay—themothereffingforeplayturnedthat…eight?Nine-inch?…monsterintoajunglegym.Andithadacurveinit.Sheactuallyhadtothrowherhipsbacktoaccommodatethatslightbowandindoingso,herclitrubbedagainstthesolid,sosolidbaseofhissex,turningherintoamoaning,sweatingmess.
“There’salothappeningonyourbeautifulface,butnothingcomingoutofyourmouth.”Hesatupsuddenlyandshewhimpered,becauseeverytimethismanmoved,shefoundanewer,betteranglewithwhichtohappilytortureherself.“Tellmewhatyou’rethinking,”hedemandedagainsthermouth.“Whileyou’refuckingmesofuckinggood,Natalie,saywhat’sonyourmind.”
“Iloveyourdick,”sheblurtedinarush,holdingontohisshoulderssoshecouldmaneuverherselfevenfaster.“Iloveit.”
Hiseyeswerealmostblackbynow,upperlipcurled.“Whatdoyouloveaboutit?”
Whywassheshakingsoviolentlywhenshewasn’tevenhavinganorgasm?Didthismangiveherpre-orgasms?Wasthatpossibleorshouldshedonateherselftoscience?“It’s…y-youmademereadyforit,”shegasped.“Withyourmouth.”
“WhenIsuckedyourtits?”Hespankedherhardandshescreamedintohisshoulder.“OrwhenIstuckmytongueinyourpussy?”
Actualmoisturewasbeginningtooverflowfromhereyes,herteethchattering.Sogood,sogood,sogood.“Both!”
“Tellmethetruth.YouthoughtIwouldthrowyouintomissionary,comeinsixtyseconds,andfallasleep.Didn’tyou?”
“Yes.No,”shebabbled,rockingfuriouslyinhislap.“I-Idon’tknow.”
“Notwithmywife.”Withoutwarning,heflippedNatalieontoherbackanddroveherupthebedwithonesavagepumpofhiships.“I’llbeearningtherighteverysingledaytocomeinsidepussythisgood.”
Theorgasmslappedharderthistimeandshesoared,lovingit,lovingbeingobjectifiedandfuckedandreveredallatthesametime.Itwasinthewayheleaneddowntokissher,lettingherknowwiththatcherishingstrokeofhistonguethathewouldbetheretotakecareofherwhenitwasallover.Thatheadoredher.
Shecouldfeelthat.
Hemadeherfeelit.
Nowshewantedtoreturnthefavor.“You’vemorethanearnedit,”shewhispered,scrapingherfingernailsalonghisscalp.Rakedthemdownhisbackandhiseyesglazedover.Thenshecontractedtheintimatemusclesbetweenherlegsandwatchedhiscontrolstumble,hisjawflexing,astutteredversionofhernametumblingoutofhismouth.“Although…”
“Yeah?”heaskedhoarsely,hipsmovingfaster.“Yeah,princess?”
Shepositionedhermouthagainsthisear,flexedagain,andburiedhernailsintohisback.“DoyoureallyneedtoearnanythingwhenIwantyourcomesobad?”
“FUCK,”hebellowed,grippingontotheheadboardwithhislefthand,yankingupherrightkneeinhisotherone.Thebedcreakedominouslybeneaththem,fasterandfaster,whileheworkedthroughhisfinishingthrusts,finallyflatteningherwithasnarlandfillingherwithliquidheat.Shetookholdofhisasscheeksandyankedhimintighter,purringinhisear.Hecursed,panted,andgroanedthrougharenewedseriesofpumps,theirfleshconnectingandsmacking,handsstrainingtotouch,togainpurchase.Fromabove,hishugebodydominatedhersmalleroneinawaysheinstinctivelyknewshewouldcravefortherestofherlife.
Momentslater,theywerenothingbutatangleofsweatylimbs,theirlaboredbreathingslowinginthesmallroom.August’smouthtraveledalongtheslopeofhershoulder,kissingherbeneaththeearashisfingerstwinedthemselveswithhers.“Holyshit,”hemutteredintoherhair,soundingcompletelydumbstruck.“Holyshit.”
“Hmmm.”
“Seriously,Ishouldgetamedalforstayinghardthatlong.You…”Herolledhercloser,nuzzlinghismouthintoherneck.“I’veneededyou.”
“I’veneededyou,too,”shewhispered,astingcreepinginbehindhereyes.
Heliftedhisheadtofrowndownather.“Yousurethatfallingbucketdidn’thurtyou?”
Nataliefeltherselfplummetdeeperintothefeelingsthathadbeenbuildingforthismanandwouldn’tseemtostop,despitetheirveryoppositeobjectives.Despitetheoutwardreasonsthey’dmarriedandthedifferentdirectionstheywereheading.“I’msure.”
Herheartgaveaheavythud,sointensethatshereachedoutsuddenlyfortheglassofwateronthebedsidetable,justforsomethingtodowithherhands.Intheprocess,shebumpedherlaptopandthescreenbrightened.Shebarelynoticedatfirst.NotuntilAugusttappedherbarehip.“Whoisthat?”
“Whoiswho?”
AugustpointedoverhershoulderattheNewYorkTimesengagementannouncementstillverymuchvisibleonherscreen.TheglassofwaterpausedhalfwaytoNatalie’smouth.
ChapterTwenty
EverytimethingsbetweenhimandNataliestartedtofeelright,asnakehadtoslitherthroughthegrass,jumpup,andbitehimsquareinthetesticles.SweartoGod.Assoonashershouldersstiffened,heknewsomethingwasup.Andheknewhewouldn’tlikeit.
AsignificantpartofAugustdidn’twanthertoconfirmtheidentityofthesuited,smilinggoldenboyinthephotograph,becausehe’dalreadyputittogether.CentralParkspreadinthebackgroundgaveitaway.Thatfuckerwiththewhitestteethhe’deverseenwasNatalie’sex-fiancé.They’djusthadsexsoincrediblethathe’dheard“LucyintheSkywithDiamonds”bytheBeatlesplayingwhenhecameandthiswasgoingtoruinit,huh?
“Whoiswho?”Herquestionlingeredintheair,hereyeszippingtothescreen,widening,theglassofwaterstoppingbeforeshecouldtakeasipfromit.“Oh.”
“Oh?”
Shetookalongdrinkfromtheglassandsetitbackdownonthebedsidetable.“Thatwouldbemyex,Morrison,andhisnewfiancée.”Hersmilewastightandbrief.“Iwasn’tinternetstalking.Someonesentmetheannouncement.”
“When?”
Jerkyshouldershrug.“Idon’tknow,alittlewhileago.”
Itwasallcomingtogethernow.Hisstomachpitchedfirst,followedbythescrapingoutofhischest,leavingithollow.
No,nottotallyhollow.
Therewasabigbillowofgreensmokewaftingin,carryingjealousyonitsback.Sticky,grimy,andimpossibletoescape.“Alittlewhileago,asin,rightbeforeyouaskedmeforsex.”
“Askedyoufor…”Sheopenedhermouthandclosedit,nosewrinklingup.“Idon’tunderstandwhereyou’regoingwiththis.”
Augustlungedoffthebedtohisfeet,zippinghimselfbackintohisjeanswithnumbfingers.“Youneedmetospellitoutforyou?”
“ApparentlyIdo.”Hervoicehadgrownloudertomatchhis.“Yes.”
UnabletostandthesightofMorrison’ssmilingfaceanothersecond,hecrossedtotheothersideofthebedandclosedthelidofthelaptop.“YouwerefeelingshittyaboutyourexgettingengagedandIwasaconvenientegoboost.”
Thatmarkedthefirsttimehe’deverrenderedNataliespeechless.
Anditdidn’tfeelatenthasgoodasheexpecteditto.
Infact,itfelttheoppositeofgood.Itwasawful.
Shestaredupathimforseveralbeats,thenseemedtoblinkbacktearswhileturningherfaceaway.“Getoutofmyroom.”
Ittookhimamomenttofindhisvoice.“Denyit.”
“No,youhaveitcompletelyright.EverythingIsaidabouthavingfeelingsforyouwasabig,elaborateliesoIcouldgetsomeego-boostingsex.”Shestoodupandshovedhimtowardthedoor,buthedidn’tbudgeaninch.Couldn’tseemtomoveatall.“Doesn’tthatsoundexactlylikeme?”
Nope.
Nope,itcertainlydidnot.
Nowshewascoveringherselfwithapillow.Hidingfromhim.
Apologize.Rightthehellnow.
“Tellmethisisn’toneofthereasonsyou’regoingbacktoNewYork,”hegrowledinstead,becausehehadobviouslylostfullcontrolofhisfaculties.Thegreensmokegrowingthickerandthickerinsidehischestwasmanningallbattlestations.ThisfinanceguywasutterlyperfectforAugust’swife—whohewasfuckinginlovewith,bytheway—andthewholetimethey’dbeenmakinglove,she’dbeensadabouttheasshatmarryingsomeoneelse.
She’djustturnedhiminsideoutinthatbedandthepossibilityshe’dbeenonadifferentpagewaseatinghimalive.
“Iamnotrequiredtodenyanythingtoyou,”Nataliesaid,lipsbarelymoving.Uh-oh.Nowtherewasawholeslewofsnakesgunningforhisballs,fangsout.“Nothinghaschangedbetweenus.Theoriginalagreementstillstands.We’reinthisforthemoneyandthat’sit.Nowgetoutofmyroom.”
Hisheartclimbedupintohismouthandheswallowedit,thewholeachingmassofitgettingstuckinhisthroat.“OnceI’mout,it’sgoingtobereallyhardtoconvinceyoutoletmebackin.”
“Oh,youhavenoidea,shithead.”
“I’mjealous,Natalie,”hesaidhoarsely.“I’mjealous.”
“Youknowwhat,August?Idon’tcare.Youdon’tgettosaywhateveryouwantbecauseyou’refeelingaparticularway.Thatdoesn’texcuseanything.Youhavetolearntotaketheinformationgiventoyoubyyourbrainandstopyourmouthfrominterpretingitfirst.”
“Becauseithurtsyourfeelings.”
“Yes,”shewhispered,thenseemedtoregretit.“No.Out.”
Morethananything,hewasangrywithhimselfinthatmoment.Pissedbeyondmeasure.Frustrationbuilthigherandhigher,anyremainingthreadofcontrolslippingfromhisfingers.Hecouldn’tdoanythingright.Couldn’tmakeNataliehappyforlongerthanafewmeaslyminutesatatime.Couldn’tdojusticetoSam’sdream.Couldn’tinterpretbrainshit,either,apparently.Whatgoodwashedoinganyone?
GivingNataliebreathingroomwasprobablytherightthingtodo,buthecouldn’tseemtomakehimselfleavetheroom.Hesimplyremainedthere,aninanimateobjectwithhishandontheknob.No,hecouldn’twalkaway.That’swhatthey’dbothdoneattheendofeveryfight,sincethebeginning,andithadhurttheirrelationshipeverytime.
He’dloseherunlesssomethingchanged.
Herfeelingswerehurtbecauseofhim,andhewasn’tjustgoingtoabandonher.
Augustturnedaround.“WhatcanIdotomakethisbetter,Natalie?”
Herchinsnappedup.“Besideslightyourselfonfire?”
“Preferably.”
“Idon’tknow,August.”Shesighed.
“Tellmehowyoufeelrightnow.”Heventuredacautioussteptowardthebed.“Thatseemslikeagoodstart.”
“Mad.”Forasecond,hethoughtshemightleaveitatthat,butshethrewupahandandletitdrop.“Alittleempty.”
Ahoarsesoundlefthim.Anditoccurredtohimthatstormingawaywasdefinitelyeasier.Thiswasthehardpart.Hearingwhathe’ddonewrongandhowhe’dhurther.Wasthatwhatmadeamarriagelast?Doingthehardshit?“Whyempty?”
“BecauseIwas…”Sheglanceddownatthemessysheets.“Iletmyselftrustyouandyoudidn’ttrustmeback.Youmademedropmyarmorandthen,Idon’tknow,it’slikeI’mbeingpunishedforit.”
Herwordsdugintohimlikesliversofglass.Christ,thatwasworsethanhe’dimagined.Whatwouldhehavelearnedbynowifhe’djustspokentoherlikethisafteralloftheirarguments?He’dbewiserthanDoctorStrange.“God,I’msorry.”
“Iknow.”Shelaughedwithouthumor.“That’sthething.Iknowyou’resorry.Iknowthatsomanyofyourchoicesaren’tmadetohurtme,eventhoughtheydo.”
So…manyofhischoices?
Whatelsewashedoingtohurther?
Herackedhismemorybankandcameupwithnothing.“Natalie,whatamI…”Outofnowhere,anidealitupthenetherregionsofhisbrain.“Icanreadyoutherestofmyweddingvows.Willthatmakeyoufeelbetter?”
Wasthatreluctantinteresthesensed?“Therewasmore?”
“Yup.Don’tmove.”Onamissionnow,hejoggedthroughthehouse,whichsentMenaceintonearhysterics,andbargedthroughthehalf-opendoorofhisbedroom.Wheredidheputthem?Where?
Bedsidetable.
Augustsnatcheduptheyellow,linedpieceofpaperandranbackoutoftheroom,skiddingtoahaltafewsecondslateratthefootofNatalie’sbed.
Heclearedhisthroatdramatically,butshewasn’treadytosmileyet.Fairenough.He’dbeluckyifshesimplylostthathollowlookinhereyesbythetimehefinishedreading.
Don’teverhurtherfeelingsagain,yousonofabitch.
“YoucancallmenomatterwhereyouareandI’llcome.That’swhereIleftoff,right?”
Shenodded.
Good.Helovedknowingsherememberedexactlywhathe’dsaidatthealtar.
“Okay.NatalieVos,Ivowtohugyouwhenyou’resad.Encourageyouwhenyou’redown.Andtaketheblameforafightifitmeanswedon’tgotobedangry.”
“Noway.”Shesnorted.“Itdoesn’tsaythat.”
Heflippedthepaperaroundandhelditout,soshecouldseehewasrecitingthevowsverbatim.“Readitandweep,princess.”
Sheglancedatthepage,thenstudiedhernails,tryingandfailingtohideaglimmerofinterest.“Anythingelse?”
“Yeah.”Hepressedakneeintothebed.Thenanother.Walkinghimselfclosertoherdespitethegrowingstiffnessinhershoulders.“IfIevermakeyoucry,yougettogivemeapurplenurple.Saysitrighthereinboldprint.”
“I’mnotcrying.”
“Youwereclose,”hesaidmiserably.“Ihatedit.”
“Don’tcomeanycloser.I’mnotpurplenurplingyou.”
“Thosearethevows.”
“Youdidn’tsaytheminfrontofGod.Theydon’tcount.”
“Ijustsaidtheminfrontofagoddess.Theycount.”Hethrewasidethepieceofpaperandtackledherbackwardontothebedinabearhugthatmadehimfeellikecrying.Ifhe’dleft,ifhe’dwalkedawayafterthefight,hewouldn’thavehisarmsaroundherrightnowandthatwouldforeverbethewrongchoice.Heneededtokeephisarmsaroundthiswomancomehellorhighwater
Whenshesniffedalittle,hereachedforherhand,bringingitupbetweenthem.
Pressingherfingertipstohisnipple.
“Makeitcount.”Hiswifedidn’tneedthereminder.Shesecuredtwoknucklesaroundhisnippleandtwistedwithnothingshortofsavageryuntilheyelped,discomfortshootingthroughhispec.“Ow,ow,ow,ow,ow.”
Shetwistedharder.
“Natalie!SHIT.”
Finally,sheletgo.Andhadthenervetolookinnocentwhenheliftedhisheadtoshowherhisincredulity.“Youaskedforit,”shesaid,blinkingupathim.Smiling.
He’dmadehersmile.Afterafight.
Theblissofthatalmosteclipsedhispain.Almost.
“I’mafraidtolookdownandseeifmynippleisstillthere,”hechokedout.
Sheyawned.“Malenipplesdon’treallyserveafunctionanyway.”
Theylaughedandheheldhertighter,turningthembodilyontotheirsidesandmoldinghimselfaroundtheperfectbackofher.“Thatdoesit,”hegrowledintoherneck,kissinghersoftskininbetweeneachword.“Youhavetosleepwithmetonight.That’syourpunishmentfortryingtokillme.”
“OhmyGod.”Sheelbowedhimintheribs.“IhadnoideaImarriedsuchabigbaby.”
“I’mprobablybleeding,”hemuttered,tuckinghiskneesupbehindhers,smilingwhenshesnuggledhimback.“Wegood,babe?”Hepressedhislipstothebackofherneck.“Pleasetellmewe’regood.”
Littlebylittle,thetensionlefthermusclesuntilshewascompletelyrelaxedinhisarmsandhisheartconstrictedinresponse.“We’regood,August.”
Hebelievedher.
Buthealsobelievedhisdick/gutanditwastellinghimtheywerefarfromoutofthewoods.NewYorkwasstillonthehorizon.NottomentiontheinvestmentfromhisCOhe’dneglectedtotellherabout.Andearlier,hadn’tshesaidIknowthatsomanyofyourchoicesaren’tmadetohurtme,eventhoughtheydo?Whatevershewasreferringto,hiseyesneededtobemoreopentoitnow.He’ddobetter.
Becausehewantedtofallasleepholdingherforever.
ChapterTwenty-One
AboomofthunderjoltedNatalie’sentirebodyuprightinbed,August’sheavyarmdroppingfromaroundhershouldersdownintothesheets.Withinseconds,thatmuscularlimbwascurlingaroundherthigh,hoarse,unintelligiblemurmurscomingfromherhusband.Nodoubtaboutit,themanwasbeautifulwhenheslept.Abig,cozybrutewithobviousmorningwood.She’dexpectnothingless—
Anotherrollofthunderseemedtoshaketheentirehouse.Withagasp,hergazeflewtothewindow.Thestormsoundedlikeitwascomingfromtheirbackyard.HerdistressmusthavefinallywokenAugustbecausehesatupbesideherinbed,barechested,hisbrowchiseledwithconcern.Instantlyonalert.
Afteraquickglanceatthewindow,hestudiedherface.“Areyouokay?”
“Yeah.”
“Badstorm,”hesaid,pushingasetoffingersthroughhisbedhead.“Wemightbestuckinhereallday.”Thatsamehanddisappearedbeneaththecomforterandsheknewexactlywhathewasdoingunderthere.Theflexofhisforearmmusclesgavehimaway.“Can’tthinkofasinglethingwemightdotooccupyourselves.Canyou?”
Alittleoveraweekago,shewouldhavetakenanimmediatejabathim.Claimshewascallingthepolicetorequestimmediateevacuation.Oraskinmockhorrorifthey’dbeforcedtodrinkhiswineiftheyranoutofrations.Butnow,shesimplyturnedwet,alreadystarvedforAugust’sweightontopofher,thefrictiontheirwarmmorningskinwouldmakeashemoved.Slowatfirst.Thenhard.Thenfastandferocious.
Theywouldtalkafterthat.
Theyhadtotalk.
Eithertheystoppedendingupinbedlikethis,actinglikeareal-lifemarriedcoupleor…
Ortheyadjustedtheirplanfromonemonthto…longer?
Agooseeggstuckinherthroat.DearLord,theveryideawasscary.
Whatifsheactuallytriedtomakeitworkwiththismanwhoshehaddeep,messyfeelingsfor?Whatiftheyremainedmarriedpermanently?Itwouldrequirealotofshifting.Herexpectationsandaspirationsand…well,everything.She’dhavetoreimburseClaudiaforallofhertimeandhardwork,makesureherfriendwasn’tlefthanging.She’dhavetofind…apurposehere.Thefinancialsectordidn’toperateoutofNapa.Winewasheronlyoptionandsofar,Augusthadonlythrownuproadblockstopreventherfromhelping.
Hehadn’tyetcarvedoutaplaceforherinhisdailylife.Startingeachmorning,he’dshutheroutwhileheworked,insteadofacceptingherhelp.Lettingherin.
Perhapshisrejectionwasunconscious,buthediditnonetheless.ExplainingherreservationstoAugustwouldonlyforcehimtomakechangestoosoonandshecouldn’tfast-forwardhisgriefprocess.Butcouldshegambleherentirefutureonhimlettingherineventually?Whatifhedidn’tandshesignedupforanotherlifeliketheoneinwhichshe’dbeenraised?AlwaysbeingkeptontheperipheryoftheVosfamily,neverletintotheinnercircle.
Augustleanedover,skatinghismouthoverhers.Urgingherdownintothesheetsandcomingdownontopofher,lickingintoamoaningkissthatshotbulletholesthroughherworries.“Wokeupstarvedforthatthingbetweenyourlegs.”Hegroanedintoherneck.“Notsureifyou’restillalittlepissedfromlastnight,soI’maskingverynicelyifIcaneatit.”
Shereallyshouldgivehimanotherpurplenurpleforreferringtohervaginaasthatthing.Unfortunately,shelikedallthewordscomingfromhismouthandwantedmore.Immediately.“Yes,”shemurmured,lettingherkneesfallopenwhilehismouthtrailedeagerlydownward—
Natalie’sphonerangonherbedsidetable.
“No,”Augustwailed.Directlyagainsthersex.“PleaseGod,no.”
Therewasnowaytotrapthegiggle.Anyothertime,shewouldhaveignoredthecall,butshehappenedtoglanceoverandseeJulian’snameonthescreen.Herbrotherwouldn’tpickupaphoneunlesstherewasagoodreason.Shehadtoanswer.
“Sorry,it’smybrother,”shesaid,pushingherfingersthroughherhusband’shair.WhenAugustadmitteddefeatandrolledover,miseryetchedineverylineofhisface,shefinallypickedupherphoneandhittalk.“Hello?”
“Hey,it’sme,”cameherbrother’svoicefromtheotherend.
“Julian,hey—”
“Areyouwatchingthenews?”
“What?”shepulledawayfromthephonemomentarilytocheckthetime.NineA.M.“No,Ijustwokeup.Issomethinghappening?”
“Yes.IsAugustthere?He’snotansweringhisphone.”
Nataliefrowned,aweirdsortofclinchhappeninginhermiddle.“He’shere.I’llputyouonspeaker.”Shetappedthescreen.“Okay,you’vegotbothofus.”
“There’sbeenaflashfloodinSt.Helena,”saidJulian,withoutpreamble.Brisk,asusual,butslightlychoppy.“There’shelicopterfootageonthenews.Awholeroadturnedintoariverandthere’saminivanstuckinthemiddleofit.”Hepaused.“Kidsandamom.”
“OhmyGod,”Nataliebreathed,tossingasidethesheets,herfeetfindingthecoldfloor.
“Searchandrescuearedealingwithsimilarsituationsallovertheregion.They’rebringinginreservesfromothercounties,buttheroadsarecausingdelays.Thepoliceareatthescene,buttheirfirstattempttoreachthevanwasn’tsuccessful—”
Augustpulleduphispantsanddisappearedfromthebedroom.
Justboom.Gone.
Hisfeetpoundedacrossthefloorboardsofthekitchen.Thecreakofadooropeningandclosinginthehallway,adistinctclicksherecognizedasthelinencloset.Washetakingashower?Orwasthatwishfulthinking?Becauseshehadthesuddenfearthatherfake-for-nowhusbandwasheadingstraighttoaflashflood.
“He’s…Idon’tknowwhathe’sdoing.Holdon.”WithJulianstillonspeakerphone,Nataliejoggedfromthebedroomwithherstupidheartlodgedinherthroat.“August?”
Shefoundhiminthehallway.Butthismanwasastranger.
Gonewashisgoldenretriever,tonguelollingout,lazybeersatthelakekindofdemeanor.He’dbeenreplacedwithasoldier.Hisexpressionwashard,focused,themovementsofhishandspreciseandefficient.Andfromsomewhereinthelinenclosetshe’dopenedmultipletimes,he’dunearthedagiganticbackpack.Hecheckedthecontentsnow,nodded,threwitonhisback,andstrodeforthedoor.
“You’regoing?”Nataliemovedlikeaghostinhiswake.“You’regoing.”
“I’mgoing,”Augustsaidwithoutstopping.
“He’sgoing,”Julianechoed,soundingrelieved.
Relieved?Nataliefeltlikesomeonehadshovedastickofdynamiteintoherchest.Herfeetwerebarelyfunctioning,butsheranafterAugust,anyway,barefootinanightshirt.Outside.Withinseconds,shewassoakedtotheskin.SowasAugust,thoughheseemedalmostathomeintherain,cuttingthroughitlikesomekindofdeadlyassassininsweatpantsandnoshirt.
Hewasgoingtohelpthefamilystuckintheflashflood.
Justlikethat.
Herheartwastornintwodirections.Obviously,shewantedthosechildrenandtheirmothertoberescued,butshe’dseenwhatnaturewascapableoffouryearsagoduringthefire.Floodsweredangerous.Hewasoneman—notateamofSEALs.
Washegoingtobeallright?
NataliehunguponJulian,bloodpoundinginhertemples.ShewatchedAugustclimbintothedriver’sseatofhistruckanddidn’tevenhesitatebeforespringingtothepassengersideandthrowingherselfintothevehicle.
“Out,”hebarked,pointingatthehouse,intimidatingherforthefirsttimeeverintheirentireacquaintance.Butnotenoughtosendheroutofthetrucktowatchhimdriveoffintothestormfromhell.
“No.I’mcoming.Ican’tjustsitherew-wonderingifyou’reokay.”Warm,saltymoisturesplasheddownhercheeks,likeacartoonversionofcrying,andshebattedthetearsawaywithshakyfingers.“Don’tmakemedothat.Please.”
“Natalie…”Heshookhishead,restedtwofistsonthesteeringwheel.“Ifitcomesdowntorescuingyouorliterallyanyoneelseinthisfuckingworld,it’sgoingtobeyou.I’llbefocusedonyou.Iwon’tbeabletothinkaboutanythingelse.”
“Iwillbefine.IwillmakesureI’mfine.”Sheputonherseatbeltwithdifficulty,becauseherfingersweregoingnumb.“We’rewastingtime.”
Abeatpassed.
Withacurse,hegunnedthetruckinreverseandshotdownthetree-lineddrivewaywhileherheartpumpedintimewiththewindshieldwipers.
***
Itwassomuchworsethanshe’dimagined,andshe’dbeenpicturingtheapocalypse.Nofewerthantwodozenemergencypersonnelvehicleswereparkedathaphazardanglesalongtheroadleadingtothefloodedstreet.Ahelicoptercircledoverhead.Theoccupantsofnewsvanswerefightingwithpoliceofficerstogainentrytothecordoned-offscene.Andallthewhile,thedelugecontinuedtopour,thunderandlightningarguingwitheachotherinawaythatsuggestedtheywereinthethickofthisstorm.
Augustscreechedthetrucktoahaltatthepolicebarrier,thewindowalreadyrolledhalfwaydown.“PettyOfficerCates,formerlyofSEALteamfive.Icanhelp.”
Theywavedhimthroughandhehitthegas.
“H-howexactlyareyougoingtohelp?Doyouhaveaplan?”
“Nope.”
“Fuckohfuckohfuck.”
“I’mtrainedinswiftwaterrescue,butIneedtoassessthesituationupclosefromthegroundlevel.SeewhatkindoflandscapeandmanpowerI’mworkingwith.AndthenI’llhaveaplan.”Hehitthebrakesandthrewthetruckintopark.“Yourplan,Natalie,istostayinthistruckorsohelpmeGod,itwillbetheworstfightwe’veeverhad,”heendedonashout.
“I’mnotscaredofafight,”sheshoutedback.“I’mscaredyou’llgethurt.”
Augusttookalonglookatherface,seemingtoregisterherterrorforthefirsttime.Howpoliteofhim.Andhemomentarilysoftened,cuppingthesideofherface.“I’maddingittomyweddingvows.Iwon’tgethurt.It’swritteninstonenow,justliketherestofthem.”Hekissedherhardandtookonelastlookatherface.“MyGod,Iamfuckingcrazyaboutyou.”
Withthat,heshotfromthetruckwiththebackpackoveroneshoulder,leavingherreeling,herheartbleedingprofusely.ButinstinctkickedinasecondlaterandNataliemovedintothewarmspotleftbehindbyhisbody,watchinghimthroughthewindshield,thescrapeofthewiperbladessuddenlybecomingthesoundtracktoahorrorfilm.Heshoutedatagroupofhuddledmen,joinedthem.Afterabriefexchange,theymovedasonebigunittowardthetopoftheroad—andthat’swhentheirlocationfinallyregistered.
She’dtakenthisshortcutamilliontimesthroughoutherlife.Whentownwasjam-packedwithtouristtraffic,thisroadwasawaytoavoidit.Elevationwise,shesupposeditwasmuchlowerthanthesurroundingarea,butthatfacthadneverseemedimportantuntilnow.
Upahead,Augustdisappearedaroundabendintheroadwiththehuddleofrescueworkersandwithoutherhusbandinview,everythinginsideherscreamedtothrowherselfoutofthetruckandsprintafterhim.Butshewouldnotdistracthiminadangerousscenariolikethis.Absolutelynot.Ifhemadeamistakeandgothurtorkilledbecauseofher,shewouldneverforgiveherself.Shewasstayinginthedamntruck.
Buttherewasnoonearoundtostopthetruckfromcreepingforwardalittle.
Justsoshecouldkeeptabsonanydevelopments.
Augusthadleftthemotorrunning,sosheputthetruckintodriveandinchedslowlyaroundthepolicevehiclesandtheirflashinglights,stoppingwhentheverytopoftherushingwatercameintoviewbelow.
Andherbloodrancold.
Thevanwashalfwaysubmergedinturbulentwater.
TeriFrasier,ZelnickCellar’soneandonlycustomer,andhertripletswereholdingontooneanotherfordearlifeontheroofofthevan.
Forthefirsttime,shenoticedamanonthescenewithablanketwrappedaroundhisshoulders,wearingwhatlookedtobeasoddensuit.Hishystericaltonereachedthroughtherainandwindshieldandthoughthevoicewasmuffled,NataliesomehowknewitwasTeri’shusband.Helpless,watchingthewaterslowlyrisearoundhisfamily.
“Ohno.Ohno.”AchillrentthroughNatalie,makinghershiverevenharderthanbefore.Herricketybreathswerecausingthewindshieldtofogupsosheturnedonthedefroster,retreatingintotheseatandpullingupherkneestoherchest.“Please,please,please,August.Getthem.Getthemandbeokay.Please.”
Afewminuteslater,ayellowraftapproachedfromupstreamandtherewasAugust,steeringit,twoofficersbehindhim.They’dputAugustinahelmet,butthelifevestwasobviouslytoosmallforhisking-sizedbody,soitjusthungonhimloosely,flappingopeninthewind.HeshoutedsomethingatTeri,smiled,andshenodded.
“Iloveyou,”Nataliewhispered.“Iloveyou.Comeon.Please.”
Thetimingwasbarbaric.Whydidshehavetorealizeshelovedthebiglugrightbeforehewasabouttodosomethinglifethreatening?Itcouldn’thavehappenedwhilehewascookingeggsortryingtoreasonwiththecat?Nataliewasnevermorepositivethatshehadn’tlovedMorrison,becausethisbig,wild,terrifyingfeelinghadhappenedonlyonceinherlife.
Rightnow.ForAugust.
Sheunderstoodnow.Loveturnedtheheartintoaliability.Ifsomethinghappenedtohim,she’dnevergetthedamnthingtobeatproperlyagain.Itseemedtobebeatingforhimnow.
TimeseemedtofreezewhenAugustreachedthesideofthesubmergedroad.Fromhisbackpack,hepulledoutwhatlookedlike…agrapplinghook?Heraisedithighandburieditinthedirtandrockformationthatranalongtheroad,twistingandscrewingitintotheearth.Oneoftheofficersleaptoutoftheraftontotherocksandworkedtosecureitfurther,wrappingtheattachedcablearoundhisforearmseveraltimes.Augustthrewtheexcesscabletotheothersideoftheroad,whereawaitingofficercaughtit,securingalatchtothefrontofhisvehicle.
AssoonasthemanturnedandgaveAugustathumbs-up,hejumpedintotheragingcurrentofwaterandNataliealmostpuked.
Itcarriedhimseveralfeettowardthesubmergedvanandshestartedtocry,theheelsofherhandsdiggingintothehollowsofhercheeks.Hardenoughtohurt.ButherbreathcaughtasAuguststoppedsuddenlyandNatalierealizedhe’dhookedhimselftothecenterofthecablethatranperpendiculartotheroad.
“Okay,”shebreathed,shakinguncontrollably.“Isthatokay?Isthatgood?”
Noonewastheretohearhernonsensicalquestions.Orhearherchantherhusband’snameoverandoveragain,herfingernailsdiggingintoherknees,theseat.Thefactthatthetrucksmelledsoheavilyofgrapefruitwasn’thelping.Orwasittheonlythinghelping?Shedidn’tknow.ShecouldonlyholdherbreathasAugustmovedtowardtheminivan,instructingTeriandthethreechildrentoclimbontothehoodofthevan,whichwaspartiallybeneathwater.
Thewomanhesitated,visiblynervoustostepintothewateratall,butwhateverAugustsaidseemedtoreassureherandfinally,shesteppedin,handingthefirstofthethreechildrentohim.Hetookoffhislifejacketandwrappedthesmallchildastightlyaspossiblewiththebelt,thenheputtheyoungboyonhisbackandstartedmovingtowardthesideoftheroadbypullinghimselfalongthecable,handoverhand.Nataliecouldseehewastalkingtothecryingchildandmorethananything,shewonderedwhathewassaying.Probablyjustthebestthingsintheworld,becausehewasAugustfreakingCates.
Whenthechildwasreunitedwithhisfather,Natalieexpelledabreathshedidn’trealizeshe’dbeenholding,herheartstillflutteringasfastasahummingbird’swings.
“Whatthehell.I’mmarriedto,like,CaptainAmericaorsomething.”Shesniffed,thesceneblurringinfrontofher.“Ican’twatchthisthreemoretimes.Ican’t.”
Butshedid.
BythetimeitwasTeri’sturntohoponhisback,thewomannolongerlookedworried.Herkidswereoutofdanger.
Andthenitwasover.Theraincontinuedtocomedowninbuckets,butitwasover.
Atwhichpoint,nothingshortofanactofGodcouldkeepNatalieinthetruck.
ChapterTwenty-Two
Augusttrudgedupontotheshore,sweatpantswaterlogged,skinscrapedfromthedebristhathadpassedhiminthewater.Heacceptedablanketfromoneoftheemergencyworkersandwavedofftheapplause,relievedandgratifiedenoughjusttoseetheFrasierfivesomereunited.Buthehadonedestinationinmind.Thetruck.Thewoman.
Gettingherthehelloutofthereandbackintohishouse,whereitwassafe.
Andhedidn’tneedtowaitlongtoreassurehimselfshewasallright,becauseNataliewasrunningtowardhiminhernightshirt.
Itwasthemostbeautifulthinghe’dseeninhisentirelife—andeasilythemostterrifying.Theywerestillinavolatilesituationwiththeraincontinuingtocomedownatanalarmingrate.Iftheroadbehindhimcouldbefloodedinseconds,theonetheywerestandingoncould,too.Don’tgethimstartedonlandslidesandfallingtreesandpowerlinescomingdown.
“Getbackinthetruck,”hecalled,hisvoicehoarsefromshouting.
Ofcourseshekeptcoming.Didn’tslowdownatall.
Thenightshirtclungtoher,blackhairstuckindampcurlicuestoherneckandcheeks.Noshoes.Wasshehopingtoroundoffthisfinefuckingmorningwithatetanusshot?Orwasshemoreofahypothermiagirl?
Ifonlyshewasn’tthemostbeautifulsighthe’deverbeheldinhislife,maybehecouldholdontohisanger.Buthewasachingeverywhere,alloverhisbody,forhertouch,becausehe’dhadthesamerecurringthoughtduringtherescue.
WhatifthelasttimeIsawher,Iwasshoutingather?Whatifthat’showsheremembersme?Afterall,therewasalwaysriskinvolvedwitheverymission,nomatterhowbigorsmall.
AroundtenyardsawayfromAugust,shestubbedhertoeontheroadandthedinnerthey’deventuallygottenaroundtoeatingaroundmidnightnearlycamebackup.
“Natalie,”hegrowled,readytoadmonishherforleavingthesafetyofthetruckwhenhewasdamnwellonhiswaytobewithher,anyway.Butthelecturediedinhisthroatwhensheleaptintohisarmswithasob,herbodyshakinglikeawashingmachineduringthespincycle.“Hey.”Hekepthisvoiceassoftaspossible,butitwasthickerthanpancakebatter.“Everyoneisokay,princess.Everythingisfine.”
“Whatthehell,”shestrangle-whisperedintohisneck.“Like,whatthehell?”
Augustcarriedherovertotheopenpassenger-sidedoorofthetruck,buthewalkedslowly,becausetherewasnothinginthegoddamnuniversebetterthanholdingthiswoman,exceptformaybeholdingherinasafe,drylocation.“What’sthematter?You’veneverseenaflashfloodbefore?”
Sheclungharder.“No!”
“Civilians.”Hesighed,ticklingherribsalittle.“Stayoffthisroadduringstorms.Theelevationputsitlowerthanthecreekbed.”Shesaidnothing,sohepokedher.“Promiseme,Natalie.”
“Okay.Ipromise.”Sheleanedbackalittleandherpuffyeyesandred-tippednosenearlymadehimstumble.“Ofcourse,ifIevergotstuckoutthere,you’djuststraponaharnessandcomerescueme.Totallycalmandcasual,asifyou’reheatingupamicrowavedinner.”
Hetookstockofhisbody,catalogingthechaoticbuzzatthebaseofhisthroat,thevibrationsinhisfingertips.Theripplingofhisheart,whichwhippedintobreakneckspeedatherwords.“Fortherecord,I’mnotcalm.I’vegotenoughpent-upadrenalinetoflipthistruckandmayberunahalfmarathon.IfyouweretheoneIhadtorescue,Natalie…”Heshookhishead,andkeptrightonshakingituntilheprobablylookedinsane.“Iwouldn’thavebeencoolheadedenoughtoputontheharness.I’dhavejumpedinandswum.”
Thepictureshe’dpaintedinhishead—ofherselfstrandedontheislandofherbluecarinthemiddleofaswiftcurrent—madehisarmsandkneesweak,sohesetherdownsidewaysonthepassengerseatbeforehedidsomethinghumiliating,likecollapseinthemiddleoftheroad.Hewasattemptingtoreininhisstampedingadrenalineandittookhimamomenttonoticehowshewaslookingathim.Softly,withteeth-markedlipsandeyesheavywithmoisture,herbreastsshudderingupanddown.Vulnerableinawayhe’dneverseenherbefore.Wallsdown.
“Idon’tthinkonemonthisgoingtobeenoughanymore,”shesaidhaltingly,swipingathereyesandhiccuppingthroughagulpofair.“Wemightneedtorenegotiateourterms.”
Ohshit.Therewenthisheart.Boominglikeacannon.Didshemeanwhatshewassaying?Orwassheshakenupoverthewaterrescue?Hedidn’tcare.Hejustwantedhisbride.“Forgetnegotiations.”Heleaneddownandpressedtheirforeheadstogether.“Idon’tneedanyfancylanguagetoknowyoubelongwithme.”
Shegavehimatearfullydubiouslook.“It’snotthateasy.”
“Idon’twanteasy,”hesaidthroughhisteeth.“Neitheroneofuswantseasy.”
“So…what?Ican’tjust…”Therainwassoloudontheroofofhistruck,hehadtopresshisearalmosttohermouthtomakeoutthenextpart.“Ican’tjust…giveupNewYork.”
August’slungsfloodedwithoxygensofast,hegotlightheaded.Thewayshesaidthosewordsdidn’tsoundallthatconfident.No,shesoundedopentonegotiation.Asin,shewasconsideringthealternativetoreturningeast?Holyhell.“Yes,youcan.Youcanstaywithyourhusband,whowouldthrowhimselfintoafloodforyou.”
“That’s…”Wasshehavingtroublebreathing?ShouldheperformCPR?“That’sextremelyromantic,butwe’reprobablyjumpingtheg-gunbecausewejustwentthroughsomethingscary.”
Heshookhishead.“Ican’tbelievethatallittookwasastandardwaterrescuetomakeyouconsiderstaying.”
Awaterylaughburstoutofher.“Therewasnothingstandardaboutthat.Youwereheroic.Youwere…”Themusclesofherthroatworked.“Youcouldhavedied.”
“Me?Nah.I’mtoostubborn.”Whydidhisresponseseemtoupsethermore?Washerliptremblingnow?God,hedidn’tlikethat.Notatall.Makeherlaugh.“Outofcuriosity,howscarydoeslivingwithmepermanentlysoundtoyou?OnascaleofTVdinnertoflashflood.”
Notevenabeatofhesitation.“Likeback-to-backflashfloods.”
“Thanksforyourhonesty,”herespondeddryly.“We’lltryandworkitdowntoasummerstormwithnopossiblefatalities.”
Herattentiondippedtohismouthandthedamnthingwentdry,likeshe’dsnappedherfingersandwishedit.“Ilovethat,”shemurmured.“Ilovesomepartsofthestormbetweenus.”Forlongmoments,theylookedintoeachother’seyes.Herswereuncertain,buthopeful,andsobeautiful,sofathomless,achickenboneseemedtobestuckbehindhisjugular.Anditonlydoubledinsizewhenherlegsparted,eversoslightlyontheseat,allowinghishipstomoveinclosertoherheat.“AmIreallyconsideringstayinglongerthanamonth?Idon’thavearealjob,myfamilycouldtakemeorleaveme,andyou…webarelygetalong—”
“Wearethefuckingdreamteamandyouknowit.Wegotthis.”
“Notyet.Notcompletely.”Sheclosedhereyes.“Rightnow,thisverymoment,wedo,though.I’vegotyou.You’vegotme.Canyoupleasebringmehomeandtakemetobed?”
Frantically,Augustperformedanothercheckofhisvitalsandfoundtheadrenalinehadn’tebbedwhatsoever.Ifanything,ithadskyrocketedattheveryrealpossibilitythatNataliemightconsiderstayinginSt.Helena.Thathemightactuallyhaveashotatturningtheirmarriagefromoneofconveniencetoonethatwouldlast.
Forever.Forever,ifyouaskedhisheart.
Orhisdick.Becausethedamnthingwasforeverabackseatdriverthatwouldn’tbesilenced.AtthemeresuggestionofsinkingintoNatalie’swarm,wetpussy,dudewasgrowinglikeJack’smagicbeanstalk.Fuck.Hewasgoingtoloveonthatthingsohard,he’dsnaptheheadboardinhalf.Unfortunately,hemightsnapthegirlofhisdreamsinhalfintheprocess.“Youneedtogivemetwentyminutestoflipmytirewhenwegethome.”
Puzzlementknitherforeheadtogether.“Huh?”
“Theleftoveradrenaline,Natalie.Ineedtoworksomeofitofffirstor…”Hepointedattheapexofherverysmooth,veryspreadablethighs.“I’mgoingtooffendthequeen.”
Shedidadoubletake.Squintedoneeye.“Wait,soI’mtheprincessandmyvaginaisthequeen?”
“AndI’mherloyalsubject.Yes.”
Silencefell.
Butitwasinterruptedamomentlaterbyherlaugh.
Aclear,musicalsoundthattwistedhischestupinaknotandforcedahoarsechucklefromhisownmouth.Foreheadsflush,theirbodiesshookwithmirthinthemiddleofthestill-ragingstorm.“You’resuchaweirdo,”shegasped.
“Youcanlearntolivewithit.”
Shenodded,turnedserious.“Maybe.”Herfingertipstraveleddownthefrontofhistorsoandhesawactualstarswhentheytuckedinsidethewaistbandofhissweatpants.“Idon’twanttowaitforyoutoflipthetire.”
“Needtoflipthetire.Idon’twanttohurtyou.”
“Doyouthinkthisisturningmeoff?”
“Idon’tknow.Ijuststayonehundredpercenthonestwithyouandhopeforthebest.”
“Ohdear,”shewhispered,brushingherlipsalonghisjawline.“Thatturnsmeon,too.We’renotevengoingtomakeithome.”
Jack’smagicbeanstalkwasalmostatfullheight.“Tire.”
“Forgetthetire,”shepurred,touchinghertonguetohisearlobe.
Colorsandshapesblurredinfrontofhiseyes.“Whatt-tire?”
FootstepsapproachedfromAugust’srightandhemovedoninstinct,steppingbackfromtheVofNatalie’sthighsandpushingherkneestogether.Therewasonlyonepersonthathadtheprivilegeofseeingherpantiesandthatpersonhadbeenreducedtomonosyllables.
Someoneslappedhimontheback.
“Thankyouagainforyourassistance,Cates.”
Augustlookedbackoverhisshouldertofindoneofthepoliceofficersholdinghishandoutforashake.Butthankstohisbeanstalkbeingatfullmaturity,hecouldonlyturnpartiallyandslaphishandintotheofficer’swaitingpalm.“Don’tmentionit.”Theguyjuststoodtherenoddingandgrinning,shiftinginhisboots.Ohman,Augustknewthatlook.Hewassecondsfromgettinginvitedoutforabeerwiththebros.“Ineedtogetmywifehomebeforeshecatchesacold.”
Natalieranaknuckledownhishappytrailandhealmostswallowedhistongue.“TheonlythingI’mgoingtocatch,”shewhisperedforhisearsalone,“isthisdi—”
“Allright,youtakecare,man.Let’shaveabeersometime,”Augustblurted,pushingNatalie’slegsintothetruck,hisbloodthickeninglikehotgravy.Atthispoint,hedidn’tevencarewhosawhisboner,aslongashegotthewomanhomeinthenexttenminutes.Restinpeacetohisheadboard.Inafewlongstrides,hewasaroundthefrontbumper,divingintothedriver’ssideandreversingthroughthemazeofemergencyvehicles.“Oh,youaregoingtogetit,NataliequeenprincessCates.”
Sheslidgracefullyacrossthefrontrowofhistruck,pressinghermouthtohisshoulder.Kissing,licking…andbitingdowninwaythatsenthisballsupintohisthroat.
“Fuck.”
“Yes,please.”Shegrippedhiscockthroughthewetmaterialofhissweatpantsandinonebig,shudderingbreath,hefoggedupeverysinglewindowofthetruck.“AndIdon’tneedyoutotakeiteasyonme.Ourmake-upsexwasinterruptedthismorning.Maybeitshouldbealittle…”
“Rough.”Hefumbledforthedefrosterwithagrowl.“Youhavenoideahowbadyou’remakingithurt,princess.”
Thatmagichandofhersstartedtostrokehimupanddown.“Pulloverandshowme.”
“Natalie,”hegroaned,tryingtoblinkawaythetinydotsoflightspinninginfrontofhiseyes.“Ithinkyoumightbeshort-circuitingmybrain.”
“I’msorry,”shesaid,notlookingtheleastbitcontrite.Jesus,whatwascomingnext?
Whenshestrippedthesoakednightshirtoverherhead,hehadhisanswer.
Inamerescrapofpanties,sheresumedjackinghimoff,butthistimeherhandhadenteredtheendzone.ItwasinsidehissweatpantsdoingtheLord’swork,playingwithhisballsandtuggingonhiscockgently,withagripthatincreasedinpressure,thengotrough
“Sonofabitch,”hehissedthroughhisteeth,forcinghimselftobreatheandfocusontheroad.IfhecrashedhistruckwithNatalieinthepassengerseat,he’dprobablydiefromthehorroralone.“Ican’tpulloverintothewoods,Natalie.I’mnotriskingyougettingstruckbylightningor…God,anotherfloodedroad—”
“I’msafeaslongasyou’rewithme.”
Nowshewasstrokinghisego,too?Hewasmanenoughtoknowwhenhe’dlostabattle.“You’redamnrightyouare,princess.”
Herhandwasgoingforbrokenow.Wassomeonesingingoperaintherearcabofhistruckorwasthatallinhishead?“TakingaquickbreakfromourargumenttoletyouknowthisisthebesthandjobI’veeverhadinmylife.Andaboutninety-ninepercentofthosewereperformedbyme,anexpertonmyowndick.You’reabsolutelynailingit.”
Thoselipscurvedintoasmileagainsthisjaw,herlow-pitchedhumcoursingthroughhim.“Youknowwhatwouldfeelevenbetter…”
“Yourpussy?Yeah,it’sprettymuchtheonlythingI’mcapableofthinkingabout.”
“Pullover,”shecajoled,cuppingandmassaginghisballs.
Augustgrittedhisteethandsearchedforabreakinthetrees.Therewasonearoundheresomewhere.He’dusedittomakeaK-turnahundredtimesafterforgettingtobuycatfoodatthestore.Comeon,comeon.Pointofnoreturn.Hewasgoingtocomeinhispants.
There.
Everyounceofbloodinhisbodywaslocatedinhislap,makinghisdicksostiffthathewasdizzybythetimeheparkedthetruck,threwopenthedriver’ssidedooranddraggedNatalieacrosstheseat.Outintotherain.Hecouldn’tgetabreath,couldn’tthinkaboutanythingbutgettinginsideher,whereitwaswarmandhebelongedandshe’dgetpleasure.Christ,hewantedthatmorethananything.Tobringheroffsohardshe’dbedeliriousforaweek.“Allright,let’sgo.”Doorclosed,heliftedherupagainstitandpinnedherthere.Roughenoughtorockthevehicle.You’retwicehersize.“Natalie,I…theadrenaline…”
“IknowwhatI’mdoing,”shebreathed,archingherback.Givinghimalong,hotlookathertits.Thosestiff,rosynipples.“IknowwhatI’minfor.”
“Justtoclarify,though…”Mycockisgoingtoexplode.“Veryroughsex.Withme.Now.”
“Yes.”
“Noforeplay.”
“No,”shesaid,hertonereedy.“Please.Please.Iwantyoutousemetogetridoftheadrenaline.Now,August.”
Herpantieswererippedtooneside,hissweatpantsshoveddownandheenteredherinonefast,upwardpunchofhiships.Andaseriesofimagesfromhislifeflashedinfrontofhiseyes.Learningtorideabike,HellWeek,shoppingforsocksthatwouldactuallyfithisbig-assfeet.Notasinglemomentinhisexistencecomparedtothis.Fillinguphiswomanandfindinghersoakedasfuck,onthevergeofcomingfromonethrust.“Damn,princess,”hegrunted,rattlingthewindowofthetruckwithaseriesofquickdrives.“Speakingofflashfloods—”
“No.”
“Sorry.”
Theirmouthslockedintoakissandsheheavedabrokensoundfromherthroatthatmadehimfeelsickwithneed.Andshewasillwithwant,too.Hecouldtellbythewaysheclosedhereyessotightduringtheirbreathlesskiss,herlegswrappedsosecurelyaroundhiships,hesworetheywerebecomingapartofhim.Thewayshehadanorgasmalmostimmediately,hereyesfloodingwithanticipation,thengoingutterlyblank,headfallingbackagainstthewindow,thighsquiveringuncontrollably.“OhJesus,August,yes.Yes.Harder.”
Thiswomanwasatreasure.Hishipsweremovinginabatteringrhythm,cockharderthanafuckingmallet,herasssqueakingupanddownthewetdoorofhistruck,andshewasaskingformore.“Anythingyouwant.”
“No,anythingyouwant.”Shewasshakingsohardmid-climax,healmostcouldn’tmakeoutherwords.“That’swhatIwant.”
“Ohyeah?”Thetetherinsidehimloosenedandhesnappedhisteethagainstherear.“IwantyoutobendoverlikeagoodgirlsoIcanhititfilthyfromtheback.Howaboutthat?”
Augustlearnedsomethingabouttheirrelationshipinthatmoment.
Thiswomandidn’tlethimgetawaywithjackshit.
Notunlesshewasgivingherorgasms
Soapparentlyhe’dbedoingalotofthat.
AugustpriedNatalieoffthesideofthetruckandwrenchedthedriver’sdoorbackopen.Shedroppedherlegsfromhiswaistandspunaround,grippingtheedgeoftheseat,hipstiltedup,herpantieshalfintatters.Hetorethemtheremainingdistancedownherlegs,lickingthecrackofherassonthewayup,whichwassomethinghewouldn’tminddoingeveryhourfortherestofhislife,especiallywhenshemoanedandinchedopenalittlewider.Shepantedhisname,hersmoothbackpuffingupanddown.Andhell,hewaspowerlesstodoanythingbutlickthatprettypuckersomemore,pressingbetweenthosetightcheeksandworryinghistongueagainstit.“August.”
“Mmmm.”
Shesquirmedbackagainsthisface.Itwastrulyathingofbeauty.“August.”
Ifhekeptthisup,hewasgoingtotrysomethinghehadnogoddamnbusinesstryingtoday,whenhecouldn’tbesloworgentletosavehislife.“Coming,princess.”
Helungedtohisfeet,pressingforwardoverNatalie’sbackandjerkingherupontohertoes,herasstuckedlikeadreamintohislap.Thenhereacheddownandpushedhiscockhome,shudderingovertheenthusiasticwayshewelcomedhim.Shecriedoutandliftedherbutt,givinghimthatdeepaccessheneededsobadhisnutsalmostsworeoutloud.
“God,Ilovefuckingyou,”hegrowledagainstherspine,grippingherhipinhisrighthand,holdingontothesteeringwheelwithhisleft.“Ilovefuckingmywife.Ifeelitinmychest,youknow?It’sneverbeenlikethis.It’snevergoingtobelikethisagainforeitherofus.Allright?Wefoundit.”Hepressedhismouthtothenapeofherneck.“Youlovefuckingyourhusband.”Hispalmslippeddownwardfromherhip,delvingbetweenherpussyandtheedgeoftheseat,massagingherclitwithtwofingers.“Sayitbacktome.”
Sheheavedtwobigbreaths,tweakingherhipsbacktomeethisfastandfuriouspumps.“Ilovefuckingmyhusband.”
“Why?”
“It’ssogood.It’sjustsogood.”
“That’snotallthat’sgood,Natalie.”Hetookhislefthandoffthesteeringwheelandploweditintoherhair,tuggingherheadback.Lockingeyeswithherfromabove.“It’sgoodoutsideofbed,too.Youknowitis.We’rejustfiguringitout.I…”Thiswaswhathe’dsecretlybeenworriedabout,allhoppeduponadrenaline.Sayingthosethreewordstooearly.Scaringher.Don’tpushfortoomuchtoosoon.“Ineedmywife.I’llalwaysfuckingneedmywife.”
Herbreathcaughtandsheblinkedrapidlyseveraltimes.Herresponseprobablycouldhavebeendelayeduntillater.Therewasalotgoingon,betweenthepouringrain,thunder,thefactthathewasthrustingintoherbodylikehumankinddependedonhimhittingthatreleasebutton.Butshesurprisedhim,movedhim,bypushingherbackupagainsthischest,nuzzlingherhairintohishanduntilhisfingersloosenedautomaticallytostrokeherface.“Ineedmyhusbandsobadly,too.”
Ohboy.
Thatdidit.
Hisdizzinessincreasedduetothepalpitationsofhisheartandthepressurebetweenhislegs.Itwassystemoverload.Desperatetobringherwithhim,neverwantingtogoanywherewithouthereveragain,herubbedherclitthewayheknewwouldrollhereyesbackinherhead—andwithapairofstrangledmoans,theylostit.Augustdroppedhisfaceintothevalleyofherneckandcamelikeamotherfucker,roaringthroughsomeroughpunchesofhiships,makingherscream,kickingthatsecondorgasmintooverdriveuntiltheywereinaheap,drapedoverthefrontofthedriver’sseat.
Hekissedherhairwithwhatlittlestrengthhehadleft.“Aslongasyouneedme,Natalie,I’mwithyou.Whateveryoudecide,whateverhappens,I’myourgoddamnman.”
“Iknow.”
Severalsecondstickedby,hischestswellingwitheverysingleone.“Ilovethatyouknow.”IloveyouHekeptthosewordsfromrunningloosebydragginghislipsalongtheslopeofhershoulder.She’dadmittedsheneededhim,thatshewantedlongerthanamonth.Heneededtobegratefulandpatient.Fornow.“Goingtotakeyouhome—ourhome—anddoeverythingIcantomakesureyoudon’tforget.”
ChapterTwenty-Three
NataliewouldsaythisforAugust.
HewasmakingaveryconvincingcaseforstayinginNapa.
She’dlostcountofhowmanytimesthey’dmadelovelastnight—theonlymarathonshe’deverparticipatein.They’dcollapsedintobedafterreturningfromthewaterrescuethatafternoon,theirnakedskinpressedtogetherheadtotoe,limbsintwinedlikethey’dneverletgo.Hourslater,she’dwokenupachingforhim.Aching.Sobadlythattearshadescapedhereyeswhilesherodehim,hisfingersburiedandtwistinginherhair,hishipsslammingupwardwhiletheyfeastedoneachother’smouths.
Therestofthenightandsubsequentmorning—alotofwhichhadbeenspenttogetherintheshower—wereablur.Butthiswasn’t.Hewasbackinthebarnwithouther,andithurtmoreandmoreeverytime.Andmaybeitshouldn’t.He’dhesitatedinthedoorwayafewhoursago,doublingbackandsuggestingshehelpwiththeadministrativesideofZelnickCellar,likeCorinnehadsuggested…butitfeltalittlelikebeingplacated.Ordistracted.
SomuchofAugust’sheartwasmadeupofhonor,butitwasalltangledwithSam’smemory.Thewayhetoiledoverthewineonhisfriend’sbehalf.Thelaborwashisheart.Butlockingheroutoftheprocessmeanthewasstillguarded.Notlettingherinthewholeway.Andshewastrulydonesettlingforhalfmeasureswhenitcametolove.Thatwaswhatshe’dgottenfromherfamily,herfriends,hercolleagues,andMorrison.
Itwasallornothingnow.WithAugust.
Maybethiswasanotherdefinitivesignthatshelovedhim.
Fulltrustwasallshecouldaccept.
Sheneededtofocusonthepositive—theybothcontinuedtoevolvewithintherelationship.
He’dstuckaroundwithoutstormingoffduringtheirmostrecentfight.He’dmadevows.Beautifulones.Builtherupinfrontofherfamily.Madeherfeelsafeandcherished.Madeherlaugh.Toldherheneededher.
Thathewasherman.
DidthatmeanshecouldsimplycallClaudiaandshutdowntheirconceptinitstracks?HerlastremainingNewYorkfriendhadbeenloyalenoughtopromisetoleaveherjobandcomeonboardwithNatalie.She’ddoneatonoflegworkoverthelastmonth,filingpaperworktoregisterthemasabusiness,makingendlesscallstofindwillinginvestors.
NowitwasThursdaymorning,onedaybeforethescheduledmeetingwithpotentialinvestorWilliamBanesSavage.Thiscouldbeliftoffforthem.Thepayoff.
Wasshereallyreadytoscraptheirblood,sweat,andtears…
Nottomentionthecomebackshe’dbeendreamingaboutformonths?
Hereyesstrayedtothelockeddoorofthebarn,animpossible-to-missdaggertwistinginherbreastbone.Washemakingprogressinthere?Couldshehelpinaroundaboutway—anddistractherselffromlife-alteringdecisionsintheprocess?Yes.She’dcallthebankandsetuphisloanmeetingwithIngramMeyer.Thatwouldn’tsteponAugust’stoes,wouldit?
ThenshewouldcallClaudia.LetherknowthattheplantoreturnpermanentlytoNewYorkwasslightlylessfirmnow.Thatway,ifbysomemiracleshedecidedtostay,Claudiawouldn’tbeblindsided.Theywouldhavetimetomakesureherlivelihoodwasprotected.
Secureinherplan,Nataliepickedupthephoneandcalledthebank.
“Hello.ThisisNatalieCatesforIngramMeyer,please?”
Amomentlater,Ingram’sfamiliarvoicefilledherear.“Mrs.Cates—IhadafeelingIwouldbehearingfromyou.Iassumeyounoticedthenewzeroesinyouraccount.Unlessthereissomekindofdelay,themoneyshouldbetherebynow.”
Zeroes.
Account.
Hertrustfund.She’dactuallyforgottentocheckifithadbeentransferred.
Ifthatdidn’ttellNatalieherheartwasherewithAugust,nothingwould.
“Thankyou.Yes.I’msureit’sfine.”ShelookedacrossthefrontyardtofindAuguststeppingoutintothesunlight,pouringathermosofwateroverhishead.Anunexpectedswellinghitherinthedeadcenterofherchest,herheartpumpingsofastshestruggledthroughanindrawnbreath.Love.Forbetterorworse,shewasinlove.“I’mactuallycallingabouttheloanappointmentforAugust.Areyousureyoucan’tsneakusinthisweek?”
***
AugustwatchedNatalieapproachfromthehouseandeverythinginhisheadwentmomentarilysilent.Kindoflikedroppingfromahelointopitch-blackwater,everythingjustcutoutexceptforthesoundofhisheart.Boomboomboom.Ifhegotluckyenoughtowatchhisbridewalktowardhimonaregularbasisforthenextsixtyyears,he’d…dieahappyman?
No,notquite.
Aslongasshewasbreathing,he’dbenegotiatingformoretimewiththemanupstairs.
SurelyGodwouldunderstand.Nataliewashisfinestmasterpiece.
“Hey,”hesaid,feelingtotallyandutterlytongue-tiedinthepresenceofherlookingso…relaxed.Softinaloosedenimdresswithgoldbuttonsdownthefront,hairinsomekindofknotthatlookedlikeitcouldfalloutatanymoment.Maybeifhekissedher,itwouldjusttumbledown?Hellyeah.Soundedlikeagreatideatohim.
Youwon’tpersuadehertostaywithsex.
Whatwasthekeyingredient?Whatwashefailingtogiveher?Theanswerseemedjustwithinhisreach,buttheelusivethingalwaysslippedawaybeforehecoulddefineit.
Shedistractedhimfromhistroubledthoughtswithasmile.“Greatnews.IgotusanappointmenttomorrowmorningtomeetwithIngramabouttheloanforZelnick.Eightthirty.He’sgoingtosneakusinbeforebusinesshours,sincehehasmeetingsfortherestoftheday.”
AndAugust’sstomachhitthedirt.
Right.
Hestillhadn’ttoldherabouttheinvestmentfromhisCO.
Thathedidn’tneedcapitalfromthebankatall.
Fromthebeginning,thishadbeenaboutNataliegettingwhatsheneeded.Wouldshebelievethat,though,aftersomanymeninherlifehadusedmoneytocontrolher?AugustwantedtotrustthatNatalieknewbetterthantothinkthatabouthim.Thathewasdifferent.Butrightnow,whenhe’djustgottenhertoconsiderstayinginNapa,wasnotthetimetospringafalsehoodonher.AnythingthatmightcausehertomaketheEastCoastherfinaldecision.They’dmadeadeal—andhe’dbeenlyingbyomissionthewholetime.
Ifsheleftnow,whentheyweresoclosetofindingcommonground,he’dfuckingbreak.
Sowhatdidhedohere?
Iftheywenttothemeeting,Ingramwouldtakealookathisbankaccountandquestionwhyheneededfundswhenhisnumberswerealreadyhealthy,thankstohisCO.Andifhedidn’tgotothemeeting,Nataliewouldquestionhim.
Comeon,universe.
Hejustneededalittlelongertomakesureshewashis—permanently.
“August?”sheprompted,hersmileturningpuzzled.
“Yeah,princess.Tomorrowmorningateightthirtysoundsgood.”
***
AugusthadahabitofaskingSamforadvicewhenhehadnoideawhattodo.Sothatwaswherehewentintheweehoursofthemorning.Heleftthemostincrediblewomanontheplanetsleepingnakedinhisbed—painful,bytheway—andhemadethedrivetothecemetery,makingsuretoleaveenoughtimetogetbackforthebankappointment.
Ifhewentthroughwithitanddidn’tendupcallingNatalietocancel.Maybeitwaswisetotellherthetruthinfrontofwitnesses.
ThesunwasjustbeginningtopeekoverthehorizonwhenAugustsatdownexactlyfivefeetandnineinchesfromSam’sheadstone,notwantingtositonhisfriend.Hewastednotimeburyinghisheadinhishandsandblurtingouteverythingthathadtakenplacesincethemorningofthewedding.“IfIhadonewish,itwouldbeforyoutomeether,man.Sheissuchabadass.”Christ,hewaswellingup.“Itfeelslike…onemisstepandI’mgoingtoloseher.Ihopeitdoesn’tfeelthisriskyforever,butevenifitdid,Iwouldsticklikeglue.She’sworthwalkingthroughanendlessfieldoflandmines.”Heblewoutabreath.“Tellmewhattodoaboutthisbankmeeting,man.”
Usually,hecouldconjureSam’svoiceoutofthinair.Imaginewhathisfriendwouldsay.Butthistime,hisimaginationdidn’tcomply.Thesoundofhisfriend’svoicewasgrowingmoreandmorefaint;hecouldn’tgetthetoneright,hadnoideawhatadviceSamwouldgivehim—andthelackofreassuranceandfogginessofSam’smemorywastoomuchontopofeverythingelse.
Helaybackinthegrassandclosedhiseyes,takingdeepbreathssohisemotionswouldn’trunawaywithhim.Notwhenheneededtobepresentthismorning,becauseestablishinghismarriagetoNataliewashissolefocus.
Butwhenheclosedhiseyes,thestressofindecisioncaughtupwithhim.
AndhefellasleepdreamingofNatalie’ssmile.
***
8:52.
NoAugust.
Natalielookeddownatthescreenofherphone,willinghimtoreturnhercalls.Oroneofthenumeroustextsshe’dsent.TheywerelatefortheloanmeetingwithIngramandhonestly,theymightaswellnotevenbothergoinginsidenow.Ingramhadonlyathirty-minutewindowtospareandmuchofthatwasgonenow.
Thiswasn’tlikehim.
Thenagain…maybeitwas?
They’dbeenmarriedforonlysixdays.Maybeitwastotallywithinhischaractertoleavebeforeshewokeupwithoutanypriorwarning.Andnotjusttopushhistire—buttoleave.Offtheproperty.She’dgonelookingforhimaroundthehouseandinbothbarns,theunsettledfeelinginherstomachyawningwiderbythemoment.Wassomethingwrong?Didhehaveanemergency?Whydidn’thewakeheruptohelp?
Thenshe’dfinallyfoundthenote,attachedtoherfavoritecoffeemug.
WenttoseeSam.
Untilthatmoment,she’dneverspeculatedonwhenAugustmightbringhertoseeSam.Orifheeverwould.Butascloseasthey’dbeenyesterdayandlastnight,thewayshe’dbeensovulnerablewithhim,Augustgoingtothecemeteryalonefeltalittlelikebeingshutout.Again.Perhapsitwasn’tarationalreaction,buttellthattoherheartwhileitsanklikeasettingsun.Augusthadawholeprivatepartofhislife,hisgrief,andheguardeditlikealion.
Itwasapartofhimshe’dnevertouch.Shejusthadtoacceptthat.
She’djustgivenherselftothisman,notonlyinnamenow,butemotionally.
Lessthanadaylater,shefeltasifhe’ddroppedherwithoutasafetynet.
Reluctantly,shestartedhercarandpulledoutoftheparkingspaceinfrontofthebank.Shedidn’tfeellikegoinghome,though.ToAugust’shouse.Itwastooquietwithouthimthereandshewaslookingforsomereassurance,notmorequestions.
Tobefair,sheshouldhaveknownthattheVosestatewasthelastplacesheshouldgo.MaybeshewasamasochistormaybeshehadatinybitofhopethatherrelationshipwithCorinnewasgettingstronger.She’dsurprisedhermotherwithherresearchonVineWatch,right?Plus,ifsheandCorinnecouldrelatetoeachotheraboutanything,itwasamandisappointingthem.Sohomeshewent,withafrissonofhopeinherchest.
Itwasdousedthemomentshepulledintothecirculardrivewayandshesawtwohybridsparkedoutside.TheVineWatchlogowassilk-screenedontotheirwindows.Twomenandonewomaninkhakisandnavybluepoloshirtshadjustalightedfromthevehicles.AndJulianandCorinnewereapproachingthemtoshakehands.
She’dobviouslyjustcrashedtheirmeeting.
Ameetingtheywerehavingwithouther.Asifsheshouldbesurprised.
Yet,shewas?Obviously,shestillhadthecapacitytobehurtbyherfamily,becauseherstomachturnedcompletelyaroundandallshecoulddowasstare
Julianmusthavecaughtsightofher,becausehewassuddenlystandingbesidethedriver’s-sidewindow,signalingforhertorollitdown.
“Hey,”hesaidwarmly.“I’mgladCorinnedecidedtoinviteyoutothemeeting.Itoldher—”
“Shedidn’tinviteme,”Nataliesaiddully.“I’mherebyaccident.”
Ifthatdidn’tsumuphowshefeltabouteverything,thisentireday,maybeherentirelifeatthisverymomentintime,nothingdid.
Julianstraightenedhistie,openlybefuddled.“Isee.Shedidn’twanttointerruptyourfirstweekasamarriedcouplewithbusiness.Fortherecord,Iknewyou’dwanttobehere—”
“Itdoesn’tmatter,Julian,”shesaid,soundingnumb.Feelinghollow.
WhatamIdoinginthisstupidtown?
Nothinghadchanged.Shewouldalwaysbetheoddoneout.Inherfamily.Inhermarriage.NewYorkwastheonlyplaceshe’deverbeenaconsiderationtoothers.Itwastheonlyplaceherinputhadeverbeenvalued
Nothere.
Neverhere.
“IhaveabusinessmeetingtonightinNewYork,soI’llbewininganddiningatechbillionaireatScarpettaifanyoneneedsme,”shesaid,puttingthecarinreverse,blowingoffherbrother’srequestthatshestayandtalk.Sheignoredthephonewhenitstartedtoringonthewayhome,too.August.Whenhermotherstartedcalling,aswell,sheturnedthedeviceoffaltogether.Anditfeltgood.Itfeltgoodtoslipbackintothatmindsetofherearlytwenties,whenshe’dneedednoonebutherself.Natalieagainsttheworld.
Theywouldn’tevenmissher.
ThankGodshe’dnevercalledClaudiatocancelthemeetingwithWilliamBanesSavage.
AssoonasNataliewalkedthroughthedoorofAugust’shouse,sheopenedherlaptopandswappedhermidafternoonflightforthenextpossibleplanetoNewYork.Feelingincontrolforthefirsttimeinmonths,shesenttheboardingpasstoherphoneandtuckedthelaptopintoherpurse.OnehouruntilsheneededtoleavefortheairportandAuguststillwasn’thome.WashehavingahardtimewiththevisittoSam?
Notmyproblem.He’smadethatclear.
Paincarvedasliceoutofherchest,callingheraliar.Shehadtopauseintheactofpackinghersmallcarry-onbaginordertobreathe.ItseemedthatshuttingherselfofffromAugustwasn’tgoingtobeaneasyprocess.Notlikeithadbeenbefore,withherex.Witheveryex,really.IfrecoveringfrombreakupswasanOlympicsport,shewouldhavemedaledinallevents.Vaultingoverthetruth.Sprintingawayfromaccountability.
Shewouldn’twingoldsoeasilyintheAugustrelayrace.
Herchestwasadumpsterfire.Andleavingfortheairportwithoutsayinggoodbyewasn’tgoingtogiveherthevindicationshewanted.Thewayshekeptstaringatthefrontdoorofthehouse,hopinghewouldwalkthroughit,madethatobvious.
Thebarncaughthereyethroughthewindow.Off-limits.Shewasn’tallowedtogointhereandmesswithhisfermentationprocess.
Well,toobad.
Natalieshovedherfeetintosomeflatsandstompedoutofthebedroom,steppingoverthesprawledcatonherwaytothefrontdoor.Sheyankeditopen,hatingthewayhopethatAugust’struckwouldbeparkedoutsideroseinherchest.Itwasnot.Therewasnothingbutanemptyslabofconcretedecoratedwithoilstains.
Withherheartinhermouth,sheparadedintothebarn.ShewassurprisedtofindthatthefarthersheventuredintoAugust’soff-limitsworkshop,themorethebowstringsinsideherchestloosened.Sure,shedidn’thavehisexpressconsenttobeinthere,amonghisthings,butshe’dneverconsentedtohimmakingherfallinlovewithhim,onlytobecompartmentalized.Keptatadistance.Closebutnottooclose,thewayherfamilykepther.
Augustwasn’tsupposedtodothattoher,too.
Natalierealizedshewasstaringacrosstherowsofoakbarrelsthroughaveiloftears.Hernosewasonfireandthoseflamesfollowedatrailofkerosinetothedeadcenterofherchest,lightingupthatsad,sufferingorganandturningittoashes.Partially.
Somepartofitmusthaveremainedbeating,becausesheswipedathernoseandpulledoutthestopperfromthefirstbarrel,immediatelyrecognizingtheneedforfiltration.
Nobodywantedherhelp,especiallyAugust.
Well,thatwastoodamnbad,wasn’tit?
***
Ifellasleep.HowcouldIfallasleepwithherwaitingforme?
HowcouldIdothat?
WhenAugustpulledintohisusualspotoutsidethehouse,hisstomachwasalreadyabubblingcauldronofacid.Becauseshewouldn’tanswerhiscalls,theywentstraighttovoicemailandnow,herbluehatchbackwasgone.Natalie’scar.Wasgone.
Hedoveoutofthetruckandwithoutmissingabeat,startedshouting,“Natalie.”
Shewasn’tinsidethehouse.Heknewit,becauseifshewasanywhereinthevicinity,hewouldfeelthatwelcomepresence.Despitethatintuition,healmostkickeddownthedoorofthehouse,becausehisfingerswouldn’tworkwellenoughtounlockit,shoutinghernamethewholetime.
Whenhegotinside,itwasdeadsilent.Menacesatperchedontheedgeofadiningroomchair,herexpressionnothingshortofanarrow-eyedaccusation.Panicrising,hetookouthisphoneandcalledNatalie,cursingabluestreakwhenitwenttovoicemailagain.Maybeshe’djustgonetoVosVineyard?Maybeshe’dbeenpissedoffathimenoughtomovesomeofherthingsbacktotheguesthouse?Because,yeah.Hiswifewasnotinthebedroomsorthebathroomandherfuckingtoothbrushwasgone?afactthatmadehiswindpipeshrinktothesizeofapinhole.
“No.No,no,no…”
Julianwouldknowifshe’dgonetotheguesthouse.
He’dcallJulian.
Augustdidn’tnoticehishandwasshakinguntilhehitthenumberforNatalie’sbrother.“Yes?”answeredtheprofessoronthesecondring.
“IsNataliethere?”Augustbarkedintothereceiver.
“Shewas.Butsheleft.”Alongpause,somecreaking.“Thatwasovertwohoursago.She’snotansweringyourcalls,either?”
“Ifshewas,Iwouldn’tbecallingyou!”
“Goodpoint,”Juliansaid—andAugustreally,reallydidn’tlikethefactthatthisnormallyunflappabledudesoundedworried.“Allright.Takeadeepbreath.Shewasobviouslyupset,Ijustdidn’tthinkshe’dreallyleave—”
“She’supsetbecauseImissedourmeetingatthebankthismorning.Iknow.IwenttovisitSamandIcouldn’thearhimanymoreandIfellasleep.Shewouldn’tjustleavebecauseofthemeeting,though.Wouldshe?She’dbeheretofightwithme.She’ssupposedtobehere.”
Julianremainedsilentalittletoolong.
“What?”Augustasked,dreadcurdlinghisblood.
“CorrineandIhadameetingwithVineWatchthismorning.ItstartedjustafternineA.M.WhenNatalieshowedupinthedriveway,Iassumedshewashereforthemeeting.Butmymotherhadn’tinvitedher.”Hecursedunderhisbreath.“Ishouldhavedoneitmyself.”
Augustwasfrozeninthemiddleofthekitchenfloor.“Whywouldn’tyouinviteNatalietoameetingwithVineWatch?Sheknowsthatcompanyinsideandout.Betterthanbothofyouputtogether.”
“You’reright.Shedoes.”
Howwashestillbreathingwithafifty-tonanvilsittingonhischest.“So…”Hisswallowgotstuck.“Soyou’retellingmeImissedtheappointmentatthebank.AndthensheshowedupatVosandfoundoutyouwerehavingameetingwithouther.”
Mywife.
Mywife.
Wecrushedher.Icrushedher.
Augustwasbackoutsidenowandthechillofpanichadtakenfirmholdofhisjugularandbothlungs.Barn.Shewouldn’tbeinthebarn,buthehadtolookanyway.
He’daskedhernottogointhere.Nowhewasdesperatetofindherinside
Funnyhowfastthingscouldchange.
No.Itwasn’tfunnyatall.He’daskedhertokeepoutofthisplacewhereheperformedtheritualofwinemakinginhonorofhisfriend.He’drefusedtoinvolveher,justlikeherfamily.Pushedherawaywhereitcounted,whileexpectinghertocomecloserphysicallyandemotionally.Allthewhile…
He’dbeentheoneputtingupthebarrier.
“OhmyGod,I’msuchafuckingmoron.”
“August…”Juliansighed.“Ihaven’ttoldyoutheworstpart.ShesaidshewasgoingtoNewYork.HavingadinnermeetingatsomeplacecalledScarpetta.It’shardtotellifNatalieisbeingserioussometimes,butobviously…shewent.”
Jesus.No.Inthemiddleofthebarn,August’slegsweakened.Hedraggedhishanddownhisfaceandviewedthebarnandallofhisequipmentthroughraw,grittyeyes.
Nowondermywinesucks.Itneededher.Ineededher.
Hewasnobetterthanherfamily.She’dtriedsohardtogetin,tobeimportanttothem,untileventuallyshegaveup.He’dbeensooutragedonherbehalf.Whocouldkeeptheirdistancefromsomeonesoincredibleandsmartanddynamicandlively…?
Meanwhilehe’ddonetheexactsamething.
He’drejectedherhelp.He’drejectedher.Deniedthemachancetobecloserbecauseheinsistedonfeelinghiswayaloneinthedark.Hewaslikeamanwhorefusedtopulloverandaskfordirections,butahundredtimesworse,becausebeingvalued,considered…itmeantsomuchtohisNatalie.Hewassupposedtobehersafeplace,buthe’dbeenhurtingherallalong.
Nowshewasgone.
SomehowAugustknewsomethinghadchangedbeforeheevenreachedtherowofbarrels—andafterpullingoutafewstoppers,thedifferencewasobvious.Thewinehadlostalotofitscloudiness.Waslesssluggish.Andthetastewasn’ta100percentimprovement—notsosoon—butbyGod,itwasahellofalotbetter.
Shecouldhavebeenhelpingallalong.Andhisstupidpridehadkeptherlockedout.
“Ifuckedup,”hecroakedintothephone,fallingforwardontohiselbows.“Ihavetogo.”
“August,wait.”Augustbarelyhadthestrengthtokeepthephonepressedtohisear.“Itwasn’tsolongagothatIalmostruinedthingswithHallie.Iknowyoumustfeellikeabsoluteshitrightnow.GodknowsIdo—”
Augustwailedsomethingunintelligible.
“MymotherandIbothoweNatalieaseriousapology.Butyou’retheonewhohastoreachherrightnow.ActsoonerthanIdidwithHallie.You’llhavelessofaholetodigoutof.”
“I’vebeendiggingaholefromdayone,man.I’vereachedChinaatthispoint.”
“Startclimbingoutofitnow.”Julianpaused.“Womenhavethecapacityforforgivenessandcompassionthatmenwillneverfullygrasp.Shemightdecidetospareyourlife.”
That’sexactlywhatitwouldbe.Sparinghislife.Hecouldalreadyfeelthewilltolivedesertinghimslowly.“I’minlovewithyoursister.Ilovehersomuch.”
“We’veestablishedthis.”
“She’sonlybeengoneforalittlewhileandIalreadymisshersomuch—”
“August,thisisgettingweird.”
“Okay.Sorry.”Heclearedhisthroat,triedtoputsomesteelinhisvoice,butitsoundedsuspiciouslylikeasniffle.“Later,man.”
“Goodbye,August.Andgoodluck.”
Augustdroppedthedeviceandburiedhisheadinhishands.“Goddammit.”
She’dgonetoNewYork.Threethousandmilesoutofhisreach.
Thenyoubettergetyourasstotheairport,roaredSam’svoice,backandlouderthanever.Theyprobablydon’thaveanyextralegroomseatsleft,butyou’llsurvive.
IfAugustcouldhavepluckedthosewordsoutoftheetherandcrushedthemtohischest,heneverwouldhaveletgo.OfcourseSamhadgonesilent.August’sconsciencehadprobablybeenblockingthosementalechoesfromcomingthrough.
Comeon,August,youcanmakethisright.Ibelieveinyou.
Thatfinaldoseofconfidencefromhisbestfriendwasexactlywhatheneededtosprinttowardthehouse.Ifhiswifewasontheoppositecoast,thatwaswhereheneededtobe,too.
ChapterTwenty-Four
TherewasalowbuzzinthebackofNatalie’shead.
Ithadbeentheresinceshe’dlandedinNewYork.Itwasstilltherewhenshecheckedintothehotel,justoffParkAvenue,anditwasgrowingloudernowasthepotentialinvestorspoketoherfromacrossthepolishedtable,talkingabouthisrecenttriptoMykonos.Thatwashowthesemeetingsworked.Theydidn’ttalkaboutmoneyorinvestmentstrategies,itwasallsocialchitchatuntilthelastfiveminutes.Upuntilthatpoint,everytickoftheclockwasspentdeterminingwhethershehadreachedahighenoughsocialstandardtoevenassociatewith.
Inthenot-so-distantpast,shedidn’tevenhavetotakemeetings.Herportfoliodidthetalking.Butthatapproachdidn’tworkanymore.Hercompanymighthaveaskedhertostepdownquietly,butafteranextendedabsenceandwithoutasuccessfulfirmtobackherup,herstockasafinancierhaddroppedsignificantly.
“Youwouldn’tbelievethewater,”saidtheinvestor,crunchingintosomekindofcrostiniwithlobstersaladontop.“Wecouldn’ttellwhereitendedandtheskybegan.We’rethinkingofgoingbackforChristmas.ToomanytouristsinNewYorkinDecember.”
Basedonherresearch,hewasfromFlorida,butfine.Hateonpeoplejusttryingtohaveastinkingvacation.
“GreeceinDecember,”Natalieforcedherselftorespondinabright,interestedtone.“That’sthetimetogo,soyoucanavoidtheheat.”Wasthateventrue?Nataliedidn’tknow.Sheneededtogetherheadinthegamehere,butshecouldn’tseemtoconcentrate.HadAugustfoundherhandiworkinthebarn?Washeangrythatshe’doversteppedhisboundaryor…maybehewassurprisedhedidn’tutilizehersolutionsoonerandwoulduseit,evenifhedidn’tcomeupwithithimself?
Fatchance.Hewastoostubborn.
Anditwasreally,wildlyridiculoustomisshimsomuchthatherbodywassore.
Didtheyreallysleeptogetherforthefirsttimethisweek?
Itfeltlikethey’dbeenmakingloveforacentury.
“Ah!”Theinvestorbrokeintoherthoughtsbysignalingsomeoneoverhershoulder.“Iseeoneofmycolleaguesatthebar.Shallwesettleuphereandjointhem?”
MyGod,thiswholenightwasgettingawayfromher.She’dflownthreethousandmilestosecureachunkofthisman’smoney.ClaudiahadbustedherbehindtopinhimdownforNatalie.Nowthatshefinallyhadthechance,shewasblowingit?
Nataliementallyshookherselfandleanedforward.“Beforewedothat,Mr.Savage—andtonightisonme,ofcourse—Iwouldlovetotalktoyouaboutthenewventure—”
“Listen,MissVos,I’llbeplain,”heinterrupted,wipinghismouthwiththewhiteclothnapkinandsettingitaside.ShecouldseetherejectioncomingamileawayandallshecouldthinkwasI’mnotMissVosanymore.I’mMrs.Cates.“Iappreciatethefactthatyou’veflownallthewayfromNapatotakethismeeting,butI’mnotsureusgettingintobedtogetheristhebestplayforme.”
Ittookaphysicaleffortnottoopenlygagathisphrasing.“Iunderstandyourhesitationcompletely,ofcourse.I’vebeenoutofthegameforawhile,butthat’sanadvantage,notadrawback.I’mcominginwithafreshperspective.You’regoingtogetmorethanthesamestaleplaysfromme.Sure,myfirmistheepitomeofyoung,butyouhaveareputationasamaverick.Youtakegambles,aswell.Earlyoninyourcareer,youinvestedinmicroprocessorsbeforethatkindoftechbecameastandardadditiontoeveryportfolio.”
Hesmirked.“Mygamblepaidoff.”
Thosefourwordsmadeonethingpainfullyobvious.Savageknewshe’dbeenfired.Ofcoursehedid.Newslikethatdidn’tstayquietinthefinancialsector,especiallywhenshe’dbeensuchavisibleforcepriortodisappearing.Tonightwasthefirsttimeshe’dlookedanyonefromthefinanceworldinthefaceandhadherdemiseaddressed.Itwasaloteasierthanshe’dimagineditwouldbe.Almostlikethestingwasgone.Beingreveredbypowerplayerswasnolongerthemostimportantthinginherlife.Whatwas?
Ormorespecifically…who?
Nataliebreathedthroughawaveofloneliness.
“Yes.Itdidpayoff.Butlatelyyou’veplayeditsafe.Seethesemenatthebar?”Briefly,sheglancedoverhershoulderandherstomachlurched.Morrisonwasthere.Herex-fiancéhadjustpulledoutastoolforhisnewintended,thebartendersettingcocktailnapkinsdowninfrontoftheprettycouple,sayingsomethingtomakethembothlaugh.
OhGod,whyhadn’tshechosenadifferentrestaurant?
Thiswasatypicalhauntforanalysts.Sherecognizedseveralfacesatthebar.
Natalieturnedbackaround,prayingherfacewasn’tfuchsia.Keeptalking.“Tothesemen,safeequalsstagnant.Itmakesthembegintowonderifthereisacashflow.Ornothingbutdustystackslanguishingsomewhere,waitingtobeinherited.Isinvestingwithmeagamble?Yes.Butit’salsoasignaltothesharksthatyou’vegotmorethanenoughmoney.Moneytosetonfuckingfire,ifyouwantto.Maybethat’stheequivalenttoinvestingwithme.Ringingabellthatsays,‘Itakerisks,Iknowsomethingyoudon’tknow’?Itopensmoredoors.Itputsyournameinsomeone’smouthwhenthey’reconsideringwhotobringinontheinvestmentofthecentury.Itmakesyoufresh.”
Nataliesatbackinherchair.
Familiarfacesatthebarwerestaring.Shecouldfeelheatonherback.Theywereslowlynoticingshewasinthesameestablishmentasherexandhisfuturewife.Theywerehopingtoseefireworks.Morethanlikely,theyalsoknewshewastheretocourtthisman’sinfluenceandwerehopingtogetahintattheoutcome.Sharks,indeed.
Hadherspielworked?Itwasdifficulttotell.Savagenolongerhadhissmirk,buthelookedmoreirritablethaninspiredbyherspeech.Hewaswipingacornerofhismouthoverandoveragain,unnecessarily,whileconsideringNatalieclosely.“Ineedalittlemoretimetoconsiderit,”hesaidfinally,throwingdownthenapkin.
Okay.Thatwasmorepromisingthananoutrighthellno
Wherewasthesenseofvictory?Orevenhope?
Totallyabsent,that’swhere.
She’dgiventhepitchherbesteffort.Forherself.ForClaudia.
Mightaswelladmitit,though.She’dbeenhopinghe’dsayno.
“Thankyou,”shesaid,reachingouttoshakehishandfirmly.Thewaitersettheleatherbookletcontainingthebillinfrontofherandshedroppedhercardontopwithoutlookingattheprice,onpurpose,whichbroughtthesmirkbacktohisface.Afterthereceiptwassigned,theybothpushedbackfromthetableandstood.“Iappreciateyourtime,Mr.—”
“You’lljoinusforadrinkbeforeyoujetbacktowinecountry,won’tyou?”Heraisedaneyebrowwhileflickingaglanceoverhershoulder.“Unlessthere’ssomeoneyouwanttoavoid?”
Obviously,he’dseenherexarrive.ThiswaseitheratestofhermettleorhejustwantedtopayNataliebackforpointingouthislackofrisktakingatdinner.“IfImadeahabitofavoidinguncomfortablesituations,Iwouldn’tbehererightnowatall.”
Heinclinedhishead,asiftosay,Proveit
“Onedrink,then,”shesaid,tightly,turningonherheel.
Itwasworsethanshe’dexpected.Everyeyeintheplacewasfastenedonher.She’drubbedelbowswithmostoftheseanalystsandportfoliomanagersovertheyearsatthisveryplace,smilingwhiletheygloatedovertheirclientlist.Attendedacoupleoftheirweddings,even.Nowshewasnothingbuttomorrow’sgossipattheoffice.
MakingeyecontactwithMorrisonwasinevitableandeveryonewaswatchingtoseehowitwouldhappen.Nomatterhowshehandledthis,theywouldembellishthestoryorrecastherasscornedandjealous.Butinthismoment,theonlypersonwhomatteredwastheinvestorshewastryingtowoo.Although,God,beingtestedbythisdudewasgettingexhausting.Shewasbeginningtolosesightofwhyitmattered.
Shealsojustreally,reallywantedtogohometoAugust.
Swallowingthefistfuloftacksinherthroat,NataliefollowedWilliamtheremainingdistancetothebarandlethergazedriftacrosstowhereMorrisonwassittingwithhisfiancée.Givingthemawaveandsmilewasn’tnearlyashardassheexpected.Actually,itfeltkindofgood.Likeclosure.Butthatdidn’tstopeveryonearoundherfromwhispering.Snickeringintheirsinglemaltscotch.Havingyetanotherlaughatherexpense—
Thethoughtdiedinitsinceptionwhensomeoneelsewalkedintothebar.
August.
August?
No,hereyeshadtobeplayingtricksonher.
How…?
It…wasreallyhim.Therewasnomistakingthegiantex-SEALforanyoneelse.Hiswideshouldershadbeenwrestledintoanavybluesuitjacket,hishairbrushedbackandsemi-damp,hisfaceclean-shaven.HesuckedalltheunwantedattentionawayfromNatalielikeanextra-largevacuum.Menwho’dbeenhunkeredoverthebarstoodupstraighternow,asifcommanded,tryingtocompetewithAugust’sheightandswagger.
DearGod,theswagger.
Hewalkedinlikeeveryoneowedhimahundredbucks,buthewastoolazytocollect.
Wherehadhefoundatailorwhocouldcraftasuitbigenoughtofitthreenormal-sizedmen?Andtherewasnousepretendingitdidn’tmakehimlooklikesexontwothick,tireflippinglegs.Headtotoe,herfleshflushedandturnedtight
I’mflustered.I’mactuallyflusteredbymyhusband.
Probablybecausethelasttimeshe’dseenhim,he’dbeenfeedingherorgasmslikecandy.JustpoppingthemintohermouthlikeMentos.
More,please,sir.
Wait.
Natalieshookherself.Whatwashedoinghere?
TimeslowedconsiderablywhenshemetAugust’seyes.He’droundedthecornerofthebar,stridinginthatoverlycockywayrightinherdirection,andnowshewasactuallyjealousforthefirsttimethatnight.Becausethatsuitclungtohispowerfulbodythewayshewantedto—wrappedaroundeveryinchofhim,tiedinaknotandwornout.
WhenAugustwasafewfeetaway,however,somethingelserippledthroughthelust.
Joy.
Flat-outjoytoseehim.
Thatshewouldn’thavetowaittobebackinSt.Helena.Hewashere.
Heshouldhavebeenhereallalong.Theyshouldhavebeentogether
Thatwaswhatthebuzzinginherheadhadbeentryingtotellher.
Natalieheldherbreathasherhusbandcametoastoprightinfrontofher.Theloudconversationinthebarareahaddieddowntoahum.OrmaybethewavescrashinginNatalie’sheadweredrowningoutthesound?AndtheycrashedevenlouderwhenAugustleaneddownandkissedhercheek,hishandlandingpossessivelyonherhip.Squeezinginsilentcommunication.Imissedyou.Orwassheprojecting?
“Excusemeforamoment,Mr.Savage,”shemanaged,walkingthemoutofearshotfromherpotentialclient.ThescentofgrapefruitwashedoverNatalieandshegulpeditdowngreedily.“Whatareyoudoinghere?”shewhispered,pullinghimcloserbythelapelsofhisjacket,carefultokeepatleastaninchbetweentheirbodies.Aninchtheyboth,veryobviously,wereeagertoeliminateiftherushingofexhaleswasanyindication.
“Youwantthetruth?”Heturnedhisnoseintoherhairandbreatheddeeply.“I’vebeenthroughHellWeek,injuries,trainingthatnearlykilledme,givingmyselfstitcheswithoutsomuchasanAdvil.Andnoneofit,Natalie,isworsephysicaltorturethanbeingawayfromyou.”
Bloodrushedtoherearsandstartedpounding.Movementsaroundthemseemedtobehappeninginadream,allgrainyanddistant.Theinchbetweenthemshrankuntilitnolongerexisted,thefrontsoftheirbodiesmeeting,pressing,therateofherheartbeattripling.“Iwouldhavebeenhometomorrow.”
“Thatisn’tsoonenough.Anotherhourwouldn’thavebeensoonenough.”
Ifshedidn’tarmorherselfimmediately,shewasgoingdown.RIPNatalie.“I’mstillangryatyouformissingthemeeting.For—”
“Shuttingyouout.Good.Youshouldbe.Ifuckedup.I’vebeenfuckingupsincethestartwithyou.”Hisfisttwistedinthebackofherdress.“I’msorry.I’mnotmakingexcuses,butIwenttoseeSamyesterdayanditwasn’tthesameasitusuallyis.Icanusuallypretendhe’stheretalkingtomeandthistimeIcouldn’t.Ijustsortof…shutoff.”
Denialhitherlikeatruck.Oh…no.She’dlefthimtodealwiththatalone?
“ThenI’msorry,too,August.”Waseveryoneintherestaurantstaringatthem?Howcouldtheynotbe?ButwiththeirpryingeyesshieldedbythewallofAugust’sbody,shewasinalittleI-don’t-carecocoon.“It’shardtofocusonthatwhenyou’rewearingthissuit.”
Inherperiphery,shesawhiseyecrinkleatthecorner,lipstwitching.“Evenbetterthanmyweddingtux?”
Shesuckeddownanotherbreathofgrapefruit,thenpushedhimawayslightly.Onsecondthought,shetuggedhimatinybitcloser.
I’mlosingmymind.
Augusttookholdofherindecisivewristswithoutawordanddroppedhismouthtothespacerightaboveherear,rumbling,“Babe.”
Itwastheequivalentofputtingapininaballoon.Shejustunloaded.“Idon’tthinkI’mgoingtogettheinvestmentand…insteadofbusiness,itjustfeelslikeanothermanusingmoneytomakemedance,youknow?”ShewatchedthelumpmoveupanddowninAugust’sthroat.“Everyoneisstaringatme.TheythinkI’majoke.AndMorrisonjustarrivedoutofthebluewithhisfuturewife,sittingatthebar,makingmetheliveentertainmentfortheevening.”
Auguststiffenedatthementionofherex.“Howdoyoufeelaboutseeinghim?”
He’dmadehimselfvulnerablebygivingherthetruthwhenhewalkedin.Shecouldn’tdoanythingbutreturnthefavornow.“Idon’tfeelathing.”
Hischestshudderedupanddown,tensionebbingfromhisburlyframe.“AndwhenIwalkedin?”
“Ithought…youshouldhavebeenhereallalong.”
Agruffsoundlefthim,throatmusclesshiftinginapattern.
Heopenedhismouthtosaysomething,buttheywereinterruptedbySavage.
“Andwhomightthisbe?”askedthepotentialinvestor.Wasitherimaginationorhadheintentionallydroppedtheregisterofhisvoiceseveraloctaves?
“Mr.Savage,Iwouldlikeyoutomeetmyhusband,AugustCates.”
“Husband?”Themanrearedbackalittleandhetradedaglancewithafewofthemenbehindhimatthebar.“Itmusthavebeenawhirlwindromance.”HeputouthishandforAugusttoshake.Herhusbanddidn’tseemthrilledaboutlettinghergolongenoughtoconductthegreeting.“CallmeWilliam,please.Goodtomeetyou.Sorryyoucouldn’tmakedinner.”
Augustnodded.“Nicetomeetyou,too.”
Savagestudiedherhusband.“Areyousomekindofathleteorsomething?”heasked,rollingashoulder.
“I’maSEAL.Beenretiredjustoverthreeyears.”
“You’reshittingme!ANavySEAL.”Themandroppedhisdrinkontothebar,withnoawarenessthatitsplashedontothejacketoftheclosestpatron.“WhenIwasakid,IwantedtobeaSEAL.TalkedaboutituntilIwasblueintheface.Myfatherevensetupobstaclecoursesinthebackyardandcalledittoddlertraining.I’dlovetohearsomebattlestories.”
Herhusbandlookeddownather.“I’msureyou’veheardplentyofthemtonightfromNataliealready,though,right?Idon’tknowalotaboutthefinancialworld,butawomanonWallStreetwouldhavetofightharderthananyone,Iimagine.”
Savagelaughed.“HarderthanaSEAL?I’mnotsureaboutthat.”
August’seyesseemedtodarkenashade.“It’sadifferentkindoffighting.Andshehasfoughtherwaybackherewithalmostnosupport.Nooneencouraginghertodoit.Godonlyknowswhereherinnerstrengthcomesfrom,butI’lltellyousomething,it’smorethanI’vegot.It’senoughtokeepputtingherselfouttherewithnorewardandIfeelsorryforanyonewhodoesn’ttakesomeonewiththatmuchbraveryseriously.”
IttookeverythinginsideofNatalienottoburstintotears.Hewasright.She’dbeenkickingassandclawingherwaybackandthatefforthadgoneunacknowledged.Byanyone.Andshewasn’ttheonlywomanwhowentaboutherdailygrindonlyforpeopletoexpectmore,soshelikedtothinkallofwomankindcelebratedwithherinthatmoment.Whenherhusbandfinallygotit.Whenhefinallysawher.
TheinvestorhadgonefromjoculartothoughtfulduringAugust’sspeech.Heturnedhisattentiontohernow.“IfItrustyouwithmymoney,what’syourfirstplay?”
Natalietookadeepbreathandletitrip.“Obviouslywe’regoingwithaclassiclong/shortequitystrategy.Wemakethesmartinvestmentsthatputusaheadandgiveusroomtoplayandthenweshorttechnologies,pharma,oilbasedonboldpredictionsandmarkettrends.AndI’mnotjusttalkingabouttheUnitedStates.We’regoingtomonitormarketsandhowconsumersrespondineverygeographicallocationonthefaceoftheearth,takingeverythingdowntothefuckingweatherpatternsintoaccount.Ifyourmoneyisn’ttripledinthefirstquarter,I’llgiveyoubackeverycentofyourinitialinvestment.”
AmusclehoppedinSavage’scheek.August’spridewasevidentineverylineofhisbody,butshecouldn’trisklookingathimorshe’dlosehercool.
“I’llmovesomenumbersaroundandcallyouonMonday,”Savagesaidfinally,holdingouthishandforanothershakefromAugust,thenhetradedashakewithNatalieonemoretimeandrejoinedhisfriendsatthebar.
“Holyshit,thatwasincredible,”Augustwhisperedtoheroutofthesideofhismouth.
“Becool.PretendIgoofflikethatallthetime.”
“Done.Butlet’sgetoutofhere,princess,”heexhaled.“Thesepantsaretootightintheballregion.”
Natalieshookherheadtohidethecreepingamusement,breezingpastherhusbandandbeginningthejourneytowardtheexit.“Onlyyouwouldmaketheromanticgestureofflyingacrossthecountryandruinitwithballtalkin,like,eightseconds.”
Augustfollowedsoclosebehindher,shecouldfeelhisbodyheatthroughtheclingymaterialofherdress.“Eightsecondsisalifetimewhenamanhasnotesticularcirculation.”
“Isthisaploy?”sheaskedoverhershoulder.“Whenwegettomyroom,you’regoingtotellmeyou’remedicallyrequiredtogetyourpantsoffassoonaspossible?”
“Well,notnow,sinceyou’vecalledmeonit.I’llhavetosavethatideafornexttime.”
“Nexttime?”
Hegrunted.
TheywerepassingbyNatalie’sexandhisfiancée.BothofthemsippedtheirdrinksandlookedcoollyatNatalieandAugustastheypassed.Ormaybetheywerejustwary?Ifsherecalledcorrectly,sheandherpartner’sdaughterhadgottenalonggreatatcompanyfunctions.Thesituationitselfwassimplyawkward.JustnotforNatalie.Forsomereason,shefelttotallycomfortablestoppingbesidethecouple,layingahandonbothoftheirbacks,andsayingaheartfeltcongratulations.She’dneverreallylovedMorrison,sowhatwasthesenseinbegrudgingthefactthathe’dfoundloveelsewhere?
Herexsmiledathisintended.Shesmiledback.Simultaneously,theythankedNatalie.
ThenshetookAugust’shandandafteralittletugging—Augustclearlywantedtosaysomethingtoherex—theycontinuedtowardtheelevatorthatwouldbringthemdowntostreetlevel.“Whatwereyougoingtosaytohim?”sheaskedastheysteppedinside,thegolddoorssnappingtogetherinfrontofthem.
“Idon’tknow.AllIcouldthinkofwasJuliaRoberts’slineinPrettyWoman.Youknow?‘Bigmistake.Big.Huge.’Butthenyoudecidedtobematureaboutthewholedamnthing.Kindofcaughtmeoffguard.”Heshruggedthosebigshoulders.“That’sprobablyagoodthing.I’dratherberememberedforquotingsomethinglikeRambo.OrHappyGilmore.”
“Wow.Youreallyjustsummedupyourwholepersonalityintwomovies.”
Hegrinnedoverather.“Yourturn.”
Natalieletherheadtipback.Gonewasthestiffnessthathadbeenbuildingsincesheboardedherflight.Fun.Shewashavingfun.Didshealwayshavefunwiththisman,evenwhentheywerearguing?“WallStreet.AndBridesmaids.”
“Bam.Beautifullydone.”
“Thankyou.”
Withoutwarning,Augustbackedherupagainstthewalloftheelevator,hismouthstoppingjustawhisperabovehers.“YouknowI’mtryingtofollowyourleadandbemature,butIactuallywantedtopunchyourexintheface,right?”
Deepdown,shehad.She’dknownthatlikesheknewherownname.“Yes,”shebreathed.
“Good.Justsowe’reclear.”
“Hmm.”
Herbrainsaid,Sex.Sexrighthereandrightnow.
Unfortunately,theelevatordoorsopenedtorevealadozenpeoplestaringback.
Withamutteredcurse,Augusttookherhandandledherthroughthethrongofpeople,towardthestreet.“Whereareyoustaying?”heasked,guidingherthroughtheglassdoorofthebuildingandoutontothesidewalk.ItwasaFridaynightinapartoftownwherenotatonofbarswerelocatedanyway,somostofthepedestrianswereworkingstiffswho’dstayedlateattheoffice.Buttrafficroaredbyatitsusualbreakneckpace,hornsbleepingexpletives,musicdriftingoutofcarwindows,passersbyholdingconversationsontheirphones.
“I’moneblockdown,”shecalleduptohimoverthestreetnoise.
“Ah.”Henodded,pullingherclosertonavigatethesidewalktrafficwithafrown.“I’mallthewayeast.”
Nataliebattledthedisappointment.“You…bookedaroom?”
“Yeah,aboutthat,”heansweredslowly.“Believeme,IwishwewereinaplacewhereIcouldassumeI’mstayinginyourroom.Fuck.Youhavenoidea.Mydickisliketheendofahockeystickrightnow.Yourememberthewayitcurveswhenit’shard…”
“Yes,”sheallbutpanted.“Iremember.”
“Good.”Hetuckedhistongueintohischeekforasecond,seeminglytosubdueasmile,butitdroppedjustasquickly.“Itwasn’trightwhatIdid.”Shetuggedonhishandtoindicatethey’dreachedherhotelandtheyduckedintothelobbytogether.Thecitysoundswerereplacedwiththesoftmurmurofconversationandpianomusic.ButshecouldbarelyhearanythingoverAugust’svoiceandthepoundingofherheart,especiallywhenheguidedhertoaquietcornerofthelobbyandlookeddownatherwithsuchearnestintensity.“IaskedyoutogiveupeverythingandstayinNapa.IaskedyoutodropyourdefensesformewhenIwasn’twillingtodothesame.I’vebeenkeepingyouout,byrefusingtoletyouhelpmesolvemymainproblematthewinery.Iseethatnow,Natalie.AndIactedreallyfuckingsuperior,likeIhadmyendofthisrelationshipallfiguredout.Ididn’t.Iwastheweaklink.AndI’msorry.I’msorry.”
Hebroughtherhandstohismouthandkissedherknuckles,leavingherheartflutteringwildlyinherthroat.Overhistouch.Hiswords.Theperceptivenessofthem.
She’dunderestimatedhimyetagain,hadn’tshe?
“YouhavenoideahowbadlyIwanttocomeupstairswithyou.Honestly,everyoneinthelobbyisabouttoseeagrownmancry.Mydickmightjusthoprightoffmybody,assumeahumanform,andpunchmeintheface.But,uh…”Heblewoutalongbreath.“Isawyouinthatbartonightandyoulookedlikeyouwereintherightplace,allclassyandconfidentandpolished.Youknockedthatmotherfucker’ssocksoff.Thisiswhereyouwanttobelong,ifnothingelse.Ishouldhavelistenedtoyouinthebeginning.Maybe,uh…maybeI’mnotthebestthingforyou.Natalie…”Heleaneddown,kissedhermouthgently,remainingthereandbreathinghardforamoment.Then,swallowingaudibly,hetookastepback,miserywrittenoneveryoneofhisfeatures.“Ihavetoprotectmyselffromgettinginanydeeperhere,becauseyou’regoingtoleave,maybeyoushouldleave.Andeverytimewe’retogether,youandmebeingapartseemsmoreandmoreunthinkable.”
Beingapart?HeassumedherdecisionhadbeenmadetoleaveNapa.Permanently.
Ontheplaneridehere,thatwaswherehercompasshadbeenpointing.NewYork.
Forgood.
Nowshewasn’tsosure.Howcouldsheremoveherselffromthisman’slifewhenhe’dwalkedintonightandstitchedherbacktogetherjustbyexisting?ShewasdeeplyinlovewithAugustCatesandsomewherealongtheway,thatstartedmeaningmoretoherthanacomeback.
Alotmore.
Herindecisionwascausinghimtosuffer,sosheneededtomakeachoice.Now.Tonight.
Andwhenshelookedupatthisman,therereallywasnodecisiontomakeatall,wasthere?
ChapterTwenty-Five
Sothisislove.
Apainfulmotherfucker.
Thatoldsaying,Ifyoulovesomebody,letthemgo,actuallyhadreal-lifeapplicationsanditwasgallingandhorrible,tosaytheleast.ButJesus,whathe’dsaidwasthetruth.Shefitintothatbarfullofmillionairestonightlikesugarincoffee.Amuch-neededdoseofsweetamongthebitterness.Gorgeousandreadytotakeontheworld—itwasrightthereonherface.
He’dfeltlikeajackasswalkinginthere,stuffedintohissuit.Palmssweating.
Thetruthofwhyhe’dcomewouldn’tstayoutofhismouth.Hell,tellingNataliehowhefeltaboutherwasbecomingthisthingheneededtodotobreathe.Buttakinghertobedknowingshewouldcomebacktothiscityonedaysoonandstay?Mightaswellperformopenheartsurgeryonhimwithoutthepainkillers.
Thosefancyhotelelevatorswouldtakethemupstairs.Toaroomwithareallynicebedand,yeah,thatbusinessformaldressshewaswearingwouldcomeoffsoeasily.Justsliderightdowntothefloor.He’dgetonhiskneesandeatheroutuntilherheadspun.Shewouldn’tbenearlyaspolishedwhenhefinishedwithher.
“August,aboutwhatyousaid…”shebegan,thenpausedtoarchaneyebrow.“Icantellwhatyou’rethinkingabout.”
Augustsighed,resistingtheurgetoadjusthiserection.“Idoubtthat.”
Sheblinkedinnocently.“You’renotthinkingofgoingdownonme?”
NowitwasAugust’sturntoblink.Andhedid.Aboutninety-sixtimes.“DidyounothearawordIsaidbefore?Aboutprotectingmyself?”
“Yes,Idid.”Shetookalongbreath.“IheardyouandIunderstand.You’reright.Themoretimewespendinbedtogether,themoredifficultitwouldbetopartways.”
Thatsoundedlikeaprettydamngoodreasontogoupstairs,nowdidn’tit?
Augustgnashedhismolarstogetherandtriedtosmileatthesametime.
Everythinghurt.Hisheart,brain,anddickwereatrifectaofmisery.
“I’llwaitherewhileyougoupstairs.”Heshovedbothhandsinhispocketstokeepfromreachingforher.“Callmewhenyou’reinsidetheroomwiththedoorlocked.Andachairwedgedunderthedoor,too,princess.Youwouldn’tbelievehoweasyitistodisengagethoselittlesafetylatches.”
“August—”
“Please,Natalie,youhavetogo.I’mlosingmyresolve.YouhavenoideahowbadIneedyourightnow.”
Because,God,shewasbeautiful.Thewholelobbyhadtobestaringathiswife.Ifhecouldtearhiseyesoffherforasecond,hemightbeabletoconfirm.He’dhaveflownbackandforthbetweencoastsfortherestofhislife,justtobestandingtheretohearhervoice.Healsoknewalong-distancerelationshipbetweenthemwouldneverwork,becausehe’dresenteverysecondawayfromherandhestillhadaresponsibilitytoSam.AndnowtohisCO.
ThereminderofhiscommandingofficerforcedhimtorecallwhatNataliehadsaidbackinthebar.Idon’tthinkI’mgoingtogettheinvestmentand…insteadofbusiness,itjustfeelslikeanothermanusingmoneytomakemedance,youknow?
He’dcometoNewYorktolayhisfaultsatherfeet,buthecouldn’tbringhimselftotellherhe’dkeptatwo-hundred-thousand-dollarinvestmentasecret.Shewasalreadymostlikelyleavinghim,didhereallyhavetomakeherhatehim,too?Puthiminacategorywithherfather,theinvestor,andtheex-fiancé?Hisheartwouldn’twithstandtheblow.
Whatwasgoingoninherheadrightnow?Agroovehadformedbetweenhereyebrowsandsheappearedtobetrappedbetweenarockandahardplace.Wasthisit?Wasshegoingtoendthingsrighthereandnow?
“August,Ineedyoutowalkmetomyroom—”
“Natalie…”Histonguethickenedinhismouthandhishandsfeltstupidbecausetheyweren’tonher.“Ican’tdothatandnotcomeinside.”
Don’tthinkoftheirweddingnight.
Don’t—
Toolate.
He’dthinkofhermouththatnightinhisfinalmomentsonearth.
Rightnow,however,heneededtomakeitthroughafewmoreminutes.Afterwhichhewouldtakeacabbacktohishotelandgettohisroomasfastaspossible.Thenhewouldpullupthosepicturesthathe’daddedtohiscamerarollfromsocialmediaandstrokeoneouttoNatalieinherweddingdress.Ifthatwasn’tasignthathe’dgrownobsessedwiththiswoman,nothingwas.Heactuallygotoffrememberingthemomentshe’dvowedinpublictobehiswife.Thatcouldn’tbenormal.
Nataliegrippedthemeatiestpartofhisarmsandshookhim.“August.Iknow.Iknowyoucan’twalkmetomyroomwithoutcominginside.”Sheslidherpalmsup,alonghisshouldersandhigher,cradlinghisface.Itfeltsoincredible,hehadtostifleamoan.“Youdon’thavetoprotectyourself.That’swhatI’mtryingtotellyou.I’mcominghomewithyou.ToSt.Helena.I’mstayingthere.Withyou.Becauseofyou.”
What?
August’slungsweresuddenlyempty,thelobbysoundsdullingtoawhisperaroundhim.
HadsomeoneslippedhimanAmbienontheplaneandhewasdreamingthiswholescenario,becausehecouldhaveswornNataliejustsaidshewascominghomewithhim.
Hisentirebodywasonebigpulseandhecouldbarelygatherhisthoughtsovertheboomingnoiseitmade.“Idon’tunderstand.You’recomingbacktostay,eventhoughI’vebeenajackass?Eventhoughyouhavethetrustfund?Andtheinvestor?”
“You’rebetterthanallofthosethings,”shewhispered,eyesshining.
Hedoubledover,bracinghishandsonhisknees,doubtfinallygivingwaytojoy,whichspreadthroughhimlikewildfire.“Youbetternotbeprankingme.”
“Takemeupstairsandfindout.”
Theytookagiantsteptowardeachotheratthesametime,Natalietuckinghersmall,eleganthandintohislargerone.Theirfingersthreadedtogetherandheld.
Christ,whataprivilege.Thiswashappening.Itwasactuallyhappening.
TheelevatorridetoNatalie’sfloorwasablur.Hecouldn’tevenscrambleenoughbrainpowertokissher,becauseitwasalloccupiedwithreliefandshockandhappiness.Somuchhappiness.Doorsopened,feetmovedalongacarpetedhallway,andwithherroominsight,theirofficialreunionimminent,hisbrainfinally,blessedlycamebackonline.Mostly.
Whenhadhebackedherupagainstthedoor?Theirmouthswereabreathawayfromtouching,hertitsflattenedagainsthischest.Hewasburningalivewiththeneedtogiveheranorgasm.Hearingherdemands,feelingthosefingerstwistinhishair,herpussyclampingdown—
“Stopthinkingaboutit,August,anddoit.”Shelickedintohismouthslowly,dragginghisbottomlipthroughherteeth.“Bringmeinside.Putmeupagainstthewall.”
Ifahotelguesthappenedbyatthatmoment,theywouldhaveassumedNataliewasbeingmugged,hereachedforherbagsofast.“Key,princess.Key.”
Adesperatesoundbubbledoutofher,bothofthemfumblingtogettheclaspopenonherpurseandlocatethecard.Heslappeditupagainstthesensor,groaningwhenthelightturnedgreen,andwalkedherintotheroom,kickingthedoorshutbehindthem.AshornyasAugustwas,spurredonbyherrequestforwallsex,heexpectedtobetheaggressor.
Hewaswrong.
Natalieshovedthejacketoffhisshouldersandstartedtounknothistie,abandoningthetaskhalfwaythroughtoworkonhisbelt,leavingthetiesaggingaroundhisneck.Spoiler:nothingelsewassagging.AfactNataliediscoveredafewsecondslaterwhensheunzippedhisflyandstuckherhandinside,moldingitaroundAugust’scock.
“OhmyGod,”shemoaned,ridingherpalmupanddownthelengthofhim,makinghimpulse.Makinghimgrowimpossiblythicker.“IknowI’mbeingredundantatthispoint,butIneedyoutoknowyou…”
Hepressedherupagainstthewall,draggedhermouthintoafrantickiss.I’mkissingmywoman.ThankGod.“What?”hesaid,breakingforair.“Youneedmetoknowwhat?”
Hereyeswereglassy,dazed.Needy.“Youhavethebestdick,”shewhispered.“Imean,I-Iwasthinkingaboutitontheplane.Duringabusinessdinner.Ifyoumassproducedamoldofthisthing,alotofpeoplewouldbelessangry.”
“Nah,butit’sjustyours,Natalie,”herumbled,hikingupthehemlineofherdresswithroughhands,soturnedonnowhewasalmostinpain.Ifshekepttalkingabouthowmuchshelovedhiscock,hewasgoingtonutrightthereinherhand.“Youdon’treallywanttoshareitwithanyoneelse,”hesaidinbetweenkisses,hishipspumping,pushinghislengthinandoutofherperfectlytightfist.“Doyou,babe?”
Hetuggedherpantiesdown,overherknees,lettingthemfalltoherankles
“No,”shegasped,trembling.“Never.”
Shelookedvulnerableaftertheadmission,sohemadehisown,somethinginsidehimdemandinghematchherstepforstep.Emotionally,physically.Atalltimes.“Iwaspreparingmyselftoliveoffmemoriesofyoufortherestofmylife.Itwasgoingtokillme.”Hekneltdowninfrontofher,drawingherrightkneeupandsettlingthearchofherfootonhisshoulder.“Can’tbelieveIgettoliveoffyou,instead.Can’tbelieveyou’relettingmelive.”
Thetendernessinhereyesundidhimtothepointofdizziness.“There’snolettinghere.You’rethebestdecisionI’veevermade.”
AgruffsoundleftAugust,hisdesperationtobejoinedwiththiswomangrowingtothepointofpain.Hewantedtolockhimselftoheremotionally,physically.Anymanneravailable.Shewashiswifeandshe’dsoakedherselfinanticipationofhismouth,hiscock.Thesenseofresponsibilitytodeliver,togiveherpleasureandhealbothoftheirwounds,hadAugustsurgingforwardandkissinghermound.Travelinglower.Pushingapartherfleshgentlywithhistongueandfindingthatbud,greetingitcarefully,thenwithmorevigorashermoansincreasedinvolumeandherfingersrippedatthestrandsofhishair.“August.”
“Iknow,”hegrowledintothenextlick.“Iknowyoulovethat.”
Hetrailedthefingertipsofhisrighthandupherleftinnerthigh,leavingatrailofgoosebumpsbehind.Whileshewasstrugglingtobreathe,hetracedtheseamofherpussywithhismiddlefinger,thentuckeditdeep,allwhileflickinghistongueagainstherclit.Andshejustsortofmeltedbackagainstthewall,herfleshclampingaroundhisknuckle,beggingforasecondfinger.Sohegaveittoherinonepossessiveshove,thenkepthisdigitspumpinginandoutofherwhilehestood,takinghermouthfromaboveinastarvedkiss
“Againstthewall,yeah?”hepanted.“Beenthinkingaboutthat?”
“Yes.Becauseyou’resostrong,”sheblurted,immediatelyshakingherhead.“Idon’tknowwhyIkeepsayingthesethingsoutloud.”
“Keepdoingit.”Heliftedherupandpinnedhertothewall,pressingtheirforeheadstogetherandlookingherintheeye.“Neverhidefromme.”
“Iwon’t,”shebreathed,liftingherkneesandsettlingthemonhiships.“I…can’t.”
VictoryandelationandamillionotheremotionsrockedAugust.
Mywife.Mywife.
Hepunchedhishipsupwardandsankdeep,groaningintothewallbesideherheadwhileshewhimperedthroughherfirstorgasm.“Leftyouprimedforthatone,didn’tI?YoulovethewayItonguefuckit.”
“Yes.”Shecontinuedtogaspandsquirmbetweenhimandthewall,herthighsshakingaroundhiships,thosegoldeneyeslatchedontohis.“More.Moreofyou.”
“Asmuchasyouneed.”Hehookedhisarmsbeneathherkneesandstartedtodrivehard.Fast.“AsmuchasIneed,too.Goingtohaveyouupsidedownandbackwardtonight,thencarryyouallthewaybacktoCaliforniawhereyoubelong.Inourhome.Withyourman.”
“Yes.”Shehiccupped,herthighspressingintightaroundhisribs,cryingoutwhenheyankedthemopenwiderandincreasedthepaceofhisthrusts,boostingherupthewallwitheachone,hertitsbouncinginthenecklineofherdress.“OhmyGod,it’ssogood.”
“Mineisgood?”Hebitdownonthesideofherneck.“Crossedthemotherfuckingcountryforthistightwifepussy.”Thewaysheclenchedatthatadmission,growingwetter,hotter,aroundhisdrivingflesh,burnedawaythelastofhisleftoverself-preservation.Therewasonlyher.Shewasallheneededtosurviveandthetruthofthat,histruth,camepouringout.“Fuckit,I’mobsessedwithyou.Ican’trememberatimewhenIwasn’t.Givemetheorgasm.Giveittome,princess.Yours.Comeon.Ifuckingneedit.”
Nataliespearedherfingersintohishairandbroughthiminforawild,almostanimalistickiss,eagerlittlesoundscomingfromherthroat.Shewasclose,soclose—andthenhertremblesturnedtoanearthquake,herlipsreleasinghistocryout,herbodystillgettingpummeledupagainstthewall.Hisgruntsturnedtogrowls,hishipsslappingupwardbetweenherthighs,eagerlyexperiencingherorgasmalongwithher.Thethrobandclenchofhiswife
“Fuck,fuck,fuck.”August’sclimaxwaslikereachinglandafterparachutingatnightintotheocean.Forawhilethere,hethoughthe’ddie,andthencametherelief.Reliefsoutterlythorough,hislegsalmostgaveouthalfwaythrough,buthisbodywouldn’tallowhimtostop.Hedrilledherasstothewallandheld,shakingsohardhisteethchattered,musclesscreamingfromthestrain.“Natalie.Christ.OhChrist…Iloveyou.Iloveyou.”
Hischestnearlycavedinaftersayingthewords,buthecouldn’tholdthemback,becausetheybelongedtoher.Hebelongedtoher,andsheshouldknowit.Maybeshewasn’tquiteabletosayitbackjustyet.Andthatwasokay.Heshouldexpecthertobehesitantafterkeepingheratadistance.He’dwaitforever,fortherestofhislife,forthosethreewordsfromher,ifnecessary.Fornow,heshouldjustbegratefulshewascominghome.
Assoonashe’dfinishedcompletely,hestumbledonhalfnumblegstothebed,Nataliesafeinhisarms,andhelaydown,pullingherascloseaspossible,kissinghiswayacrossherhairline.Herwarmbreathbathedhisthroatandhewrappedhisarmstighter,drawingtheduvetaroundtheirhalf-nakedbodiesasbesthecouldwhentheywereontopofthecovers.“August,Idon’tthinkyourealizewhatitmeanstomethatyoucameallthewayhere,”shesaidsoftly.“Idon’tthinkyourealizehowvaluedandimportantthatmademefeel.Thankyou.”
Ittookhimamomenttoswallowthesidewayspencilinhisthroat.“You’rethemostimportantpersoninmylife,Natalie.Youalwayswillbe.”
Herfingertipswerebusyforamomentinhischesthair,beforetheystilledandsheexhaledslowly.“ThedayyourescuedTeriFrasierandherkidsfromtheflood…that’swhenIrealizedIwasinlovewithyou,butwhenyouwalkedintonight,I…youfeltlikemyhusband.Youweremyrealhusbandforthefirsttime,andIlovedyousomuch.Iloveyousomuch—”
“OhmyGod.”August’sbodymovedonitsown,tacklingherintothepillows,coveringherentirebodywithhis.Holdingherdownasiftotrapthewordsbeforetheyflutteredaway.Hisheartwasnolongerbeatinginhischest.Itwasupinthecloudssomewhere.Therewasastronglikelihoodhewascrushingherandwouldn’tthatbeironic?Womanadmitstolovingman,isimmediatelysmotheredtodeath.Buthewasn’tincontrolofhisownbody.Itwasfuckingshaking,hewassohumbledandgratefulandinlove.Soinlovehedidn’tknowhowonebody,evenhisbig-assone,couldcarryitall.“Youloveme,Natalie?”
“Totally.Completely.Iloveyou,August.”
Awarmbalmspreadacrosshissoul.“We’regoinghometorunthewinerytogether,okay?It’soursaswellasSam’s.I’lldobetter.”
Shecapturedhisfaceinherhands,herdampeyeslookingintohisequallymoistones.“I’lldobetter,too.You’renottheonlyonewho’simperfect.”
“Agreetodisagree.”Hekissedherhard.“TellmeagainthatI’myourrealhusband.”
“You’remyrealhusband,”shebreathed,atearslippingdownhercheek.“Nowshowme.”
Whensherolledoverandpressedherbareassintohislap,heneedednofurtherencouragement.He’dshowhereverysingleday,foraslongashelived.
ChapterTwenty-Six
Themorningafterthey’dreturnedfromNewYork,theairtastedsweeter,herchestfeltlighter,andshewasmoreoptimisticthanshe’dbeeninareallylongtime.Notthedesperate,edgykindofoptimismthatcamewithtryingtoclimbthefinanceworldladder,but…acalmsensethatshewasintherightplace.Thatshemightjustbeenough
WhilewaitingtoboardtheirflightatJFK,NataliehadcalledandexplainedeverythingtoClaudiaandofferedtocompensateherforallthetimeshe’dspentworkingontheirstart-up.Ofcourse,she’daccepted,becausesmartwassmart.Natalie’sloyalfriendmayhaveevenseemedalittlehappythathermarriagetoAugustwasgoingtostick.Notthatshewouldeveradmitit.NataliehadalsoleftamessagewithSavage’sassistantlettinghimknowtheywouldnolongerrequiretheinvestment.Unlesshefanciedputtinghismoneybehindawinerywithaone-starYelprating.
Nowordbackyet.
JulianandCorinnehadbeenwaitinginAugust’sdrivewaywhentheypulledup,havingbeenalertedoftheirarrivalbackinNapaviatextfromAugust.Hermotheractuallyapologized—andmeantit,unlessNataliewastotallymistaken.Hermothergenuinelyhadn’twantedtobotherNataliewithbusinesson“herhoneymoon”butwouldbeincludingherinallinteractionswithVineWatchgoingforward.
“Notonlythat,I’llbegratefulforyourinput,”hermotherhadsaid.
Yeah.Theairfeltdifferenttoday.Easiertoinhale.
Nataliestoppedshortinfrontoftheproductionbarn.
EvenafterAugust’sassurancethatnopartofthewinerywasoff-limitstoheranymore,shestillcouldn’tbringherselftosimplywalkinside.Herhusbandsteppedintoviewinsidethebarn,wavingatherfromtheduskyinterior,aleatherapronpulledonoverhiswhiteT-shirt.
“Morning,princess.”
Warmthtrickledthroughheratthehuskyfamiliarityinhisvoiceandshehadtoforceasipofcoffeepastthelumpinherthroat.“Morning.”
Hecleanedhishandsonaragalotlongerthanseemednecessary,allwhilelookingherover.“Iwashopingyoucouldhelpmeoutinheretoday.”
Herfingersflexedaroundthecoffeemug,happinesspoppinglikebubblesbelowherthroat.“You’resure?”
“Yeah,”hesaidgruffly,hisattentionfallingtothewinebarrelsbriefly,thenshootingbacktohereyes.“Ineedyou.”
Natalieshookherhead.“Youcantakesometimelettingmein,August.”
Helookedpreparedforthatresponse,becausehisexpressiondidn’tchangeoneiota.Hisvoiceremainedeven,thoughthelatterseemedtorequireaneffort.“You’rein,Natalie.You’reindeepandthat’swhereIwantyou.Ican’tdothisforSambymyself.Ineedyouwithme.I’veneededyouwithmeallalong.”Hepaused.“That’sprobablywhyIcouldn’thearhimtheotherday.HewasgivingmethesilenttreatmentuntilIpulledmyheadoutofmyass.He’sbacknow.”
Nataliebreathedinandoutverycarefully,positivetoobigofaninhalewouldsnapherinhalf.“I’msoglad,August,”shewhisperedunevenly.“I’mgladhe’sback.”
“IwastryingtobeatbackmyguiltfornotsavingSambydoingthisallmyself,butthetruthis…heneverwouldhavewantedthat.”Helookedaroundattheinteriorofthebarn,asifseeingitforthefirsttime.“Heneverwouldhavewantedmetosucceedathisdream…atthecostofyou.”Hiseyesfoundtheirwaybacktoher.“Becauseyou’remydream.He’dwantmetohaveyouasmuchashewantedthisplace.And…I’mtheonewhoisstillhere.He’dtellmetocuttheshit,quitfeelingguilty,andlivethisdreamwithmywife.”
Itwashardtofindwords,letalonetherightonesinthatmoment,soshesimplyspokefromtheheart.“YouwereluckytohaveSam,August.Buthewasluckytohaveyou,too.”
“Thanks.”Clearinghisthroat,heshovedtheragintohispockethastily.“Jesus,Ican’tbelieveIeveraskedyoutostayoutnowthatIwantyouinherewithmesofuckingbad,Natalie.”
“Okay,I’mcoming,”shesaidbreathlessly,desperatetostophisflowofwordsbeforehesaidsomething,afinalthingthatwouldmakehercrumble.“Okay.”Shecradledhermugagainstherchestandapproachedhim,herpulserippingintoanunrulyrhythmtheclosershecametoAugustandhisbigleatherapron.“Youdon’thavetobesodramatic.”
“I’mcompletelydramaticoveryou.Dealwithit.”
Sheslippedpasthimintotheproductionfacility,thefrontsoftheirbodiesbrushingtogetherandmakingtheirbreathcatch.“IfIhavetodealwithyourdrama,youhavetodealwithmyspeechabouttheintricaciesofagrape.”
“Done.”HefollowedbehindNatalie,leavingheralmostnoroomtobreathe.“I’mallears.Andmuscles,becauseobviously.Layyourintricaciesonme,princess.”
Nataliestoppedinfrontoftherackedbarrels,noticingimmediatelythatAugusthadspentthemorningfilteringtheonesshehadn’thadtimetodoonFriday.
ShelookedatAugusttofindaseriousexpressiononhisface,armscrossed
Hewasn’tjustpayingherlipservice,hewasactivelyfollowingherlead.
“Um…”Shewethersuddenlydrylips.Whywasherpulsegoingsofast?“Well.Thecharacterofagrapedependsonalotoffactors.Climate,soil,whetherthevineswerestressedorunderstressed,thetemperatureatwhichtheywerepickedandstored.I’msureyou’reawarebynowoftannins.Theyprovidetexture.Theygivethewinestructure.”Sheglancedbackattheequipmentbehindherthatwasnolongerinuse.“Youappeartohavegiventhewineashortmacerationtimeatawarmertemperature.That’sagoodpracticeforextractingthosetannins.Whereyou’regoingwrongisthefermentationperiod.”
“Thefiltrationhelped,”Augustsaidwithoutshiftinghisattentionfromherface.“Itastedsomeanddidn’twanttocurlupanddie.Butitstillneedsalotofwork.”
“Yes.We’veremovedthebacteriaandexcessyeast.Butweneedtocontinuetoblendourwine.Ithasn’tbeengivenenoughoxygen.”
“Sortofsymbolic,isn’tit?”Heswoopedinandkissedthesideofherneck,lingeringthereforasecond,wetterone.“Theblendingoftwolives…”
“Areyougoingtobethisromanticallthetime?”Shegaspedashislipsmovedhotlyoverherear.“Orisitallthebacteriatalkgettingyouworkedup?”
“I’mgoingtogiveyoualltheromanceyoucanstand,NataliequeenprincessCates.”Hissmilewasflirtatiousagainsthermouth.“Butmainly,it’sallthe‘ourwine’and‘weneedtocontinuetoblend’talk.Itmakesussoundlikeateam.”
“That’swhatweare,”shewhispered,heremotionsvibratinglikeatuningfork.“Isn’tit?”
“No,Natalie.LikeItoldyou…”Hisforeheaddroppedtohers.“We’rethedreamteam.”
Shesmiledontheheelsoftheirkiss.“Ithinkyoujustnamedourfirstvintage.”
“Firstofmany.”
***
Ahandfulofdayslater,onthewayhomefrombuyingAugustsockswithoutholes—seriously,hedidn’townasingleintactpair—Nataliehadthecraziesturgetopulloverandbuyflowers,too.TheshoppingtripwasquiteadeparturefromherusualroutineofpoppingintooneofSt.Helena’smanywinestoresaroundfourP.M.forabottle—andbackupbottle—ofCabernet.Whowasthispersonshewasslowlyturninginto?Shehadn’tevenblow-driedherhairthismorning,she’djustshoweredandletitdryinhaphazardwaves,becauseshecouldn’twaittomeetAugustinthefacility,wherehewasalreadyupandworking.
Eachmorning,whileshedrankhercoffee,shewatchedhimfromthewindowofthehouse,smilingintoeverysipashecontinuallyglancedoverhisshoulder,waitingforhertocomejoinhim.Visiblyeagertohavehispartnerincrimeoutinthebarnathisside.She’dgladlygivenupherblow-dryingtimeinthemorningsjusttowatchit.Observehowmuchhewantedhercompany.Howmuchhewantedheraround,allthetime.
Now,Nataliepulledontothedustyshoulder,parked,andgotout.ShehadgroceriesinthebackofthecarsoAugustcouldmakethemdinnertonight,becausesomethingswouldneverchange.Shewasn’tgoingtobecomeachef,inadditiontobecomingavintner.Therewasonlyonecookinthefamily,asevidencedbyherpitifulattemptateggsyesterday.Geniusmove,marryingamanwhowasaccustomedtosurvivingonfieldrations—he’dchokedthemdownwithoutblinkingandappearedonlymildlyseasickafterward.
Onherwaytotheflowerstand,herheartswelledsomuchthatherentirechestfeltlikeastruckfunnybone.Thegooeysensationmelteddownintoherfingertipsandtingledthere.Andshewalkedfaster,wantingtogethome.
Somethinginsideherwashealingatarapidrate,notonlybecauseofthislovestampedethathadtotallytrampledherbeneathitshooves.Butbecauseshe’dpushedforexactlywhatsheneededanddeserved.She’dacceptednothinglessandthereward…
Itremindedherofthewildbloomsthatburstfromallcornersoftheroad-sidestand.Colorful.Beautiful.Everytimeshelookedatoneofthebouquets,shesawsomethingnew,somethingdifferent.She’dspentalongtimeononesideofawall,withherfearofrejection,andAugusthadbeenbehindadifferentone.Theycouldn’tseeeachotheruntilthey’dbothclimbedoverandmetinthemiddle.Inaseaofflowers.
Orgrapes,asitwere.
“What’llitbe?Therosesorthelilies?”
Natalie’sheadcameup,apuzzledexpressiononherface.Shehadn’tnarroweditdowntotwooptionsyet.Wastheflowervendorspeakingtoher?
Agentlemanshehadn’tnoticedbeforehadapproachedfromtheoppositeendoftheshoulder.Wait…sherecognizedtheman.ItwasAugust’sCO.CommanderZelnick.WhatwashedoingbackinSt.Helena?
ThecommanderglancedatNataliefromthecornerofhiseyeandnoddedpolitely,butheobviouslydidn’trecognizeher—andnowonder.Lasttimeshemettheman,she’dbeeninaskirtandblousewithperfectlycoiffedhairandmakeup.Currently,shewasinaloosepairofboyfriendjeans,atanktop,andnobra,withsunburnedcheeks,andshelookedlikeshe’djustbeenthroughawindtunnel.
SheapproachedtheCOslowly,intendingtoreintroduceherselfandaskwhathadbroughthimbacktoSt.Helena,buthespoketothevendorfirst.“I’mnotsure.Imetheronlyonce,butIthinkshe’smoretherosestype.”
Wasitpossible…hewasheretovisitAugustandthoseflowerswereforher?Morethanpossible.Itwaslikely.Whoelsecouldthismanknowinatownwherehedidn’treside?
Astheflowersalesmanwentaboutwrappingtherosesinpaper,Natalieapproached,clearingherthroatsoftly.“Excuseme,CommanderZelnick.It’sme.Natalie.August’swife.”Therewasnowaytostopthesmilethatspreadacrosshermouthaftersayingthosewords,soshesimplyletitgrowandheldoutherhandforashake.“Ithinkyou’rebuyingmeflowers?”
Afteramomentofclearconfusion,hemerelylookedchagrined.“I’msorry.”Heshookherhandonce,firmly.“Ididn’trecognizeyou.”
Idon’trecognizemyselfthesedays
Atleastallthenew,goodparts.
Natalienodded.“Ithoughtasmuch.”Shegesturedtoherdustyjeans.“We’vespentsometimeoutworkinginthevineyardtoday,cultivatingthesoil.Irantothestoretograbsomeingredientsfordinner—morethanenoughforthree.Iassumeyou’reonyourwaytoseeAugust?”
“Iam.Havetokeepasoldieronhistoes.”Heacceptedthebouquetfromthevendor,hesitated,thenhandedthemtoherwithaslightblush,makingherlaugh.
“They’rebeautiful.Thankyou.Andyou’reright,I’mdefinitelytherosestype.”
“Excellent.”Hehandedthemanbehindthecounteratwentyandtoldhimtokeepthechange.“IsupposeI’llseeyouinafewminutesatZelnickCellar.I’minterestedtoseehowAugusthastakenadvantageofmyinvestment.Maybesomenewequipment,or…”
Hetrailedoff,expectingNatalietojumpinwithananswer.Shedidn’thaveone.
Investment?
Obviouslynotpickinguponthefactthatshewasstunned,themancontinuedonwhileunearthinghiscarkeysfromthepocketofhisslacks.“Iknowithasbeenonlyafewweeks,butI’meagertoseewhatimprovementshavebeenmade.”
Afewweeks.
ThecommanderhadgivenAugustmoney?Forthevineyard?
They’dbeeninsuchahappinesshazesincereturningfromNewYork,theyhadn’treallyspokenaboutthemissedappointmentwithIngramatthebank.They’dmadenomovetoreschedule.Augusthadn’tevenbroughtitup.IfhiscommandingofficerhadgivenAugustaninvestmentweeksago,hadheeverneededabankloaninthefirstplace?
Hadhebeenkeepingasecret,too?
Hadheevenneededtomarryher?
“Whatinvestment?”shecroaked.
***
Augusttooktheragoutofhisbackpocketandswipeditacrosshissweatybrow,asmilecurvinghislipswhenheheardacarpullupinfrontofthehouse.Honey,I’mhome.He’dbeenbeggingNatalietoutterthatphrasejustonceandshe’drefused,buthe’dgetitoutofhereventually.Maybetonight.Maybenow
Hestrippedoffhisshirt.
Wenttothebackdooranddidafewpull-upsonthedoorframe,hopingitwouldmakehismusclespop.Hiswifewasasuckerforthesepecs,whichwasonlyfair,becausehewasasuckerforher.TheweeksincereturningfromNewYorkwasnotjustthehappiestofhislife,itwasthehappiestofanyone’slife,andhe’dfightwhoeverdisagreed
Asifhecouldevenlocateenoughirritationinsidehimselftothrowapunch.Hewasallsunshineanddovesbelowtheneckthesedays.Hiswifewasreallyhiswife.Shewashappywithhim.Sheactuallyfuckinglovedhimback,thishumanworkofart.Witheverypassingday,hediscoveredmoreabouther,too.Herticklishspots,herverypreciseroutineintheshowerthatinvolvedaroundninedifferentproducts,allofwhichsmelledlikegoddamnheaven,thesillyvoicesheusedtospeaktothecatwhenshethoughthecouldn’thear.
Thehopefulwayshetalkedaboutherfamilyastheycontinuedtoreconnect,theintentwayshelistened,likeshecouldn’twaittobehisconfidant,thewayshesometimesjustneededarubberbandforherhair.Seriously,he’dstartedkeepingacollectionofthelittleblackbandsonhiswrist,becauseshecouldneverseemtofindone,despitethefactthattheywereeverywhereinthehouse.Sometimesallhehadtodotomakehersmilewashandherarubberbandsoshecouldputherhairupinoneofthosecrazyknots.Thefirsttimeithappened,she’dlookedathimlikehe’djustturnedhischairaroundforheronTheVoice
Theyfoughtovercontrolofthetelevisionremote.
Theyfoughtoveralotofthings.
Shecouldn’tcookforshit.
Andhelovedherwiththefireofathousandsuns.
Whichmadethosefightsendprettydamnquickly,becausehischeststartedtostingandallhewantedwastomakeherhappyagain.Ithelpedthatshedidn’tlikefightingwithhimanymore,either.She’dgrumpedathimthismorningbeforehercoffeeandtwominuteslater,she’dbeencrawlingontohislapatthediningroomtablewithapologykisses.Leadingtoapologysex.Hisnutswerebackinaknotrightnow,justthinkingabouthowshe’dpoutedthewordsorryagainsthismouth,straddlinghim.
Rockingjustonceonhislapandliquefyinghisbrain.
Wasitpossibletomarryheragain?Ordidhehavetowaitacertainnumberofyearstorenewtheirvows?
Thisphenomenalwomanhadsnuckoverbarriershedidn’tevenknowexistedinsidehim.She’dstartedhelpinghimbringSam’sdreamtolife…andslowlyitwasbecomingtheirdream,too.Yeah,itwasbecomingtheirs,andthatwasmorethanokay.Itwashislifenowandhedesperatelywantedtogoonlivingitforever.
Augustdroppeddownfromthedoorframeafterafewmorepull-ups,hisbrowknittingoverthearrivalofasecondcar.Whowasthat?
Whenhewalkedoutofthebarn,thepersonheneededtoseewasNatalie—andhedid.Briefly.Sheglancedathimwithastrangelookonherfaceassheslippedintothehousewithabunchofrosesinherarms,shuttingthedoorbehindher.Whatthehellwasthat?
Hestartedafterher,stoppingshortwhenhisCOclimbedoutofthesecondcar.
“Cates.”
Asalways,hisspinesnappedstraightatthesoundofhiscommandingofficer’svoice,buthisminddidn’tfollow.Notthistime.Somethingwasupwithhiswife.Whywashisnecktinglinglikedangerwasimminent?
CommanderZelnickapproachedwithhishandsclaspedbehindhisback.“Idon’tmeantokeepsurprisingyoulikethis,Cates,butIneverknowwhenI’mgoingtogetenoughfreetimetodriveupfromCoronado.”Henoddedatthebarn.“Itrustthingsareontheirwaytoimproving.”
“Yes,sir,”hesaidautomatically—anditwasthetruth—butahundred-poundweighthaddroppedinhisstomachandsomethingwasproddingtheedgesofhisconsciousness.“Sir,wouldyoumindwaitinghereamomentwhileIfigureoutmywife?”
Hedidn’tmeanittosoundridiculous,buthismouthwasn’tconnectingwithhisbrain.She’dstoppedtobuyflowers?Fortheirhouse?Whydidthatmakehimfeelliketherewasapotatosackracehappeninginsidehischest?Andwhyhadn’tshesmiledathim?
Wassomethingwrong?
Yes.Somethingiswrong.
He’dbeenavoidingthinkingaboutitduringtheirweekofbliss,butwiththeappearanceofhiscommandingofficer,themonumentalthinghe’dbeenkeepingfromNataliejumpedupanddugitsteethintohisjugular.Everytimehethoughthehadgatheredenoughcouragetotellherabouttheinvestment,herecalledthewayherfatherandex-fiancéhadmanipulatedherwiththecontentsoftheirbankaccounts.Orhertrustfund.Nottomention,theinvestorshe’dmetwithinNewYork.Howsheresentedtheirrefusaltobestraightforwardaboutmoney.
Alittlelonger,hekeptthinking.I’lltellherabouttheinvestmentoncesometimehaspassedsincemylastfuckup.Really,ithadbeenjustoveraweeksincehe’dsentherrunningtotheothersideofthecountry.Theyweresohappy.He’djustwantedmorethingsabouttheirmarriageintheprocolumnbeforeheaddeddeceptiveaboutmoneytotheconside.
“Ofcourse,gogreetyourwife,”theCOanswered,laughing.“Didn’trecognizeherattheflowerstand.Shelooksdifferent.Gooddifferent.Happier.”
“Thankyou,”Augustmanaged,pulserollicking.“Didyou…youdidn’tmentiontheinvestment,didyou?Ihaven’ttoldheryet.”
Themanonlylookedconfused.“Whynot?”
“It’scomplicated.”Augustsortofjustdoubledover,catchinghimselfwithhandsonhisknees,releasinganunsteadyexhale.“Youdidtellher.Sheknows.”
“Itcameup,yes.”
“Ohfuck.”
“Cates?”
“Sorry.Ohfuck,sir.”
Thiswasbad.Thiswasverybad.
Hisspleenwassecondsfromerupting,andhedidn’tevenknowwherehisspleenwaslocated.Oritsfunction.
Fixit.Fixitnow.
“IneedsometimewithNatalie,sir,”hesaid,winded.“Ifyouhearglassbreakingordoorsslamming,don’tworry,that’snormalaroundhere.”
“ShouldIcomebacklater?”
Augusttookadeepbreathonhisjourneytowardthehouse.“That’sprobablyagoodidea,sir.”
Withabrisknod,thecommandingofficerstrodetohiscar,asifabattleawaited.
Anditdid.Thebigone.
WhythehellhadAugustkeptthisfromherforsolong?Didn’theknowbetterbynow?
Augustpausedwithhishandonthedoorknob,thenopenedthedoorcarefully,waitingabeat,justincaseaplateorfryingpancameflyingathishead.“Princess?”
Noanswer.
Shit.I’mscrewed.
SilenttreatmentfromNataliewassomuchworsethanarguing,becausehedidn’tgettohearhervoiceanditmeantherfeelingswereinjured.Uttertorture.
“Natalie,”hesaid,easinghimselfinsidethehouse,“I’msorry.Iwasgoingto…”
Auguststoppedshortjustinsidethedoor,becauseasightgreetedhimthathewasn’texpecting.Nataliewasstandinginthemiddleofthekitchen,wringingherhands.Sheappearedtobe…nervous?Why?
Didpeoplegetnervousbeforetheyaskedforadivorce?
Probably.
Acidfloodedhisorgans,sothickhecouldtasteitinhismouth.
“I’msorry,”hesaidagain,hisvoiceintatters.“Iwasgoingtotellyou,butwe’resohappyandIdidn’twantyoutolumpmeinwithyourfatherandMorrisonandSavage.Listentome,it’snotwhatyouthink.Yes,IacceptedaninvestmentfromSam’sfather.Butitwasn’tbecauseIdidn’twantyourhelpwiththebankloan.Iwasn’trejectingyou,thewayIdidwithmakingourwine.Thatwasn’titatall,Natalie.Ijustwanted…”Hestrodeforwardandtookhershoulders,stoopingdownenoughtoputthemateyelevel,alarmedbeyondwordstofindhersfulloftears.ChristohChrist.IsworeIwouldnevermakehercryagain.“Iwantedyoutogetyourtrustfund.BecauseyouneededitandIloveyou.Iwasn’tsureyouwouldmarrymeifthedealwasone-sided.Imarriedyoubecausethefirsttimewemet,youtookmyhearthomewithyouinadoggybagandnevergaveitback.Ineverwantitback.”Hewastalkingincircles.Getittogether.“Keepingthissecretwasn’taboutpride.Oraboutmakingthewineryasuccessonmyown.Ijustwantedtodosomethingimportantforthewomanwhoismyreasonforgettingoutofbedinthemorning.Itwasalloutoflove.Nothingelse.”
Severalsecondspassedinsilence.
Then,tohissurprise,shenodded.
“Ihavetotellyousomething,too,”shewhispered,tremblinginhishandsinawaythatwascausinghimacutedistress.“OhGod,August…”
“Whatisit?Wecanhandleanything.”
Shesuckedinabreathandletitoutslowly.“Thedayofthewedding,myfathercalledandofferedtoreleasemytrustfund.”Shesearchedhiseyesasthetearsbegantodripfromherown.“Isaidno.Notbecauseofmypride,either,but…becauseIwantedtomarryyou.Icouldn’tputanametohowIfeltaboutyouatthetime,but…”Sheswipedathereyes,asobsneakingout.“Ilovedyou—Iknowthatnow.Iknowitsodeeply.”
Arushofunimaginablehappinessblewinandknockedhimoffhisfeet.
“Sorry,holdon.”Augustfellsidewaysintooneofthediningroomchairs,thepieceoffurnitureskiddingloudlyunderthesuddeninfluxofweight.“Ican’tbreathe.”
Nataliekneltdowninfrontofhim,fingersrushingoverhim,asiftocheckforaninjury.Whenshedidn’tfindone,sheclaspedhisfaceinherhands.“August.”
“I’mhere.Ijustcan’ttellifIwanttocryorthrowup.”
“Don’tdoeitherofthosethings.”
“Gotcha.”Hetookherfaceinhishands,too,marveling.Fuckingmarvelingoverthiswoman.Heprobablywouldstillbereelingfromtheunexpectedgiftofherconfessionahundredyearsfromnow.Andaslongasshewastheretoholdhim,thatwouldbequiteallright.
Appearingdazed,sheshookherhead.“So,technically,wedidn’thavetogetmarried.Wejust…wantedto?”
“Incorrect.Ihadtomarryyou.”
“YouknowwhatImean.”
“IknowthatIloveyou,”herasped,kissingherhard,memorizinghiswife’stear-stainedfaceandtheaffectionradiatingfromher.“Iknowthatnomatterhowithappened,itwasright.Ican’tbreatheforlovingyouandlovingyouistheonlywayIcanbreathe.”
Sheshotoffthefloorintohislap,whereshebelonged,plantingkissesalloverhisface,whichhewasalltoohappytositbackandreceive,hismindstillstrugglingtoplaycatch-up.God,ifyou’relistening,please,pleasegivemeacenturyjustlikethis.“Iloveyoujustasmuch,AugustCates,”shesaid,finally,againsthislips.“Despitethefights.Maybeevenbecauseofthem.Becausethereisnoonemoreworthyofbattlingfor.”
Hiswife,theloveofhislife,kissedhimwithtearsinhereyes.
Andatlasttheworldmadesense.
Epilogue
Eightyearslater
Overthecourseofeightyearsofmarriage,NataliehadseenAugustmadplentyoftimes.They’dalwaysbeen,andcontinuedtobe,hot-temperedindividualsandtheyranasuccessfulwinerytogether.Ofcoursetheyargued.Thebeautywasintheforgiveness—andtheydidforgivenessreallywell.Whethertheyfoughtovertemperaturemanagementofthewineorplantingstrategy,theydidn’tstaymadlong.Oneofthemusuallycavedafterfiveminutesofsilenttreatment.Andshemeant“caved”intheliteralsense,becausethewinecavewasusuallywheretheyendedupengaginginfrenziedapologiesoutofearshotoftheiremployees.
Yes,she’dseenAugustplentymad.Butneversomadastoday,whenhefoundouttheirdaughter’sdancepartnerhadn’tshownupforarecital.
“They’vebeenpracticingforfivemonthsandhedoesn’tshowupfortherecital?”Auguststartedtopace,ahandfuloffingersshovingthroughhiswind-blownhair,whichnowcontainedadustingofgrayatthetemples.“Howisshe?Isshe…”HewavedhishandsinagiantX.“Princess,don’ttellmeshe’scrying.”
Theywereoutsidetheschoolauditoriuminahugegroup.Natalie,August,Hallie,Julian,Corinne,andhernewhusband.August’sparentswerethere,too,havingflowninfromKansasforthebignight.Truthbetold,itwashardtokeepAugust’sparentsoutofNapa.They’ddiscoveredalate-in-lifepassionforCabernetandwerenowtheproudownersofsummerlinensandstrawhats,fittinginseamlesslywiththelocals.August’smotherreferredtoherstylishnewattireasher“winepants,”andNatalieadoredthewomantonoend.Afterall,she’draisedtheloveofNatalie’slife.Amanwho’dtakentoparentinglikehewasborntobeagirldad.
Whichwasaverygoodthing,becausetheyhadthree.
Parker,theoldestatseven.Parksforshort.
Elle,theyoungest,attwo.
Bothwerecurrentlyhomewithababysitter—thesamehomewhereAugusthadcarriedNatalieoverthethreshold.They’dsimplykeptaddingonrooms.
Thecatwasstillpunishingthem.
Samantha,theirmiddlegirl,wasaveryseriousfiveandahalf—andtonightwasherjazzrecital.Heroldersister,Parker,playedsports.Augustdedicatedalotoftimetocoachingherteams.WhenSamanthahadexpressedaninterestindance,hewasveryadamantthathegivethesamelevelofattentiontohismiddledaughter’sinterests,soshewouldn’tfeelslighted.Hemighthavestoppedshyofteachingthedanceclass,buthe’daskedsomanyquestionsatrehearsalsthattheteachereventuallystartedignoringhisraisedhand.
“Naturally,sheisalittleupset,butwehadsomecookiesandjuicewiththeinstructor,soshe’sgottenhercourageback,”Nataliesaid,layingahandonAugust’sarmanddrawinghimclose.“She’sokay.It’snotideal,butshecanstilldothedancewithoutherpartner.”
“There’sadipduringthesecondtransition,Natalie.”Augustlookedatherlongandhard.“Shecan’tdipherself.”
Herheartcrawledupintoherthroat.“Youknow,she’sgoingtogetthroughthis.It’sgoingtobeagoodlesson.Lifegivesuslemonssometimes—”
“Noonegivesmygirlslemons,”hesaid,visiblyoffended.“Thatgoesdoubleformywife,”hesaid,leaningdowntokissher.“Noonebetterbegivingyouanylemons.”
“Nooneisgivingmelemons.”
Hermouthseemedtobedistractinghimfromtheproblemathand.“Youlookinsanetonight,youknowthat,right?”hesaidinaloweredvoice,hisgazetravelingdownthefrontofherburgundysilkwrapdress,hisrighthandliftingtosqueezeherhip.“Iwasgoingtotellyouwhenwearrived,butyousprungthiswholemissingpartneronme.Damn,lookatyourlegs.Icouldliterallyeatyoualive.”
“Seeingasthoughourentirefamiliesarehere,”shewhispered,gesturingforhimtokeephisownvoicedown,“…thatmighthavetowaituntillater.”
“Youreadmymind.Cavedatetonight?”
“Wemightaswellputabeddownthereatthispoint.”
“Smartandhot.”Hepressedhislipstothecenterofherforehead,hisarmswrappingaroundherinabearhug.“How’dIgetthislucky?”
Shetookadeepinhaleofhisgrapefruitscentandforamoment,therewasnothingandnoonebutthetwoofthem.Thismanwhomshe’dmarriedundertheguiseofamarriageofconvenience,butwhomshe’dbeeninlovewithallalong.Thismanwho’dbecomeherbestfriend,businesspartner,biggestsupporter,andco-parent.Theywerethebestthingtoeverhappentoeachotherandneitheroneofthemtookitforgranted.
Lookingback,eightyearshadgonebyatthespeedofsound,andyeteverymomentwassovividthatshecouldreplaytheminslowmotion.Itwasalmostlikelivingthroughthosecherishedmemoriestwice.Theeveningthey’dopenedabottleoftheirfirstvintageanditactuallytasteddecent?AugusthadputNatalieonhisbackandrunthroughthevineyardwhileshewasstillholdingtheopencontainer.Theywerecoveredinwinebythetimetheycollapsedandmadeloveunderthemoon,thescentofgrapesandearthfillinghernose.Twoyearsofhardworklater,theirwinehadstartedpouringbetterthandecent,anditwasgoodtiming,becauseshe’djustfoundoutshewaspregnantwithSamantha
Funny,she’dneverenvisionedherselfasamother.Notuntilshemetsomeonewhoremindedhershewasfearless.Someonewhoimbuedherwithtwiceherstrength,becausetheywereateam.Ineverything.MadeNataliefeellikesuchavitalpartofafamilythatshestarteddreamingofexpandingit.August’sresponsetoherbroachingthesubjectofhavingkids?
Princess,Ithoughtyou’dneverask
Theydidn’tcomeoutoftheirbedroomforasolidforty-eighthours.
Tenmonthslater,Augusthadpassedoutfromsympathypainsinthedeliveryroomandhithisheadonametalcart,resultinginnineteenstitches.
Hestillhadthescarandclaimeditmadehimevenmoreattractive.
Nataliecouldn’texactlydisagree.Whodidn’tlikeareminderthattheirhusbandhadenoughempathyandloveinhisheartthathecouldloseconsciousnessoverit?
ThatwasAugust.Empathy,love…andunconditionalsupport.WhenshewantedtousehertrustfundtobuysharesinVineWatch,he’dsupportedherwithoutquestionandwatchedproudlyathersideasthatinvestmentquadrupledinthespaceofayear.She’dmanagedtoconvinceCorinneandJuliantodothesame,theirfaithinherhealingadeep-downwoundthathadbeenlurkingsincechildhood.TheVosfamilyhaddefinitelygrownclosersincethen.Familydinnersweremessier,thankstotheirgirls.JulianandHalliewerealsoparentstoabeautifulsetoffive-year-oldtwinboys.Oneofthemwasveryseriousandhadadeepobsessionwithsharks.TheotherwaswildtotheboneandhadoncebeenfoundhangingfromthediningroomchandelieratCorinne’s.
Onedayinthenot-too-distantfuture,thesecousinsweregoingtopaintSt.Helenared.
Fornow,theyhadadancerecitalcrisis.
“DoyouthinkIshouldgotalktoher?”AugustaskednowashesmoothedNatalie’shair.“OramIgoingtomakeitworse?”
“Youonlymakeeverythingbetter,”shesaidautomatically.
Hedippedhisheadonasmilethatwasalmostbashful.“Youdoingthatthingwhereyourewindthepastandgetallsentimentalonme?”
Shepressedherlipstogethertightlyandnodded.“Maybe.”
Slowly,hissmilegavewaytoaseriousexpression.“IfIhadonewish,itwouldbetoslowdownmytimewithyou,Natalie.Ahundredyearswon’tbeenough.”
Iftheykeptthisup,shewaseithergoingtoswoonorcryinfrontoftheirentirefamily.Withabiginhale,shestraightenedthecollarofhisdressshirt.“GotalktoSamantha.Sheneedsyou.”
Hestudiedherfaceforalongmoment,asifmemorizingeveryfeature,beforestridingaway.Nataliedidn’tknowwhatmadeherfollow.Maybeshewantedtoprovideparentalbackupifthewaterworksstartedagain.OrmaybeshejustwantedtowitnessamomentbetweenAugustandtheirmiddledaughter.Butforwhateverreason,shecreptinhiswaketowardthestageentranceandpeekedinthroughthecrackofthedoor.
TherewasSamantha,thespittingimageofNatalieatthatage,sittingonAugust’skneeinheremeraldgreensequineddressandmatchingminitophat.AsNataliehadfeared,herlowerlipwastremblingagain.Asstrongasherimpulsewastoentertheroomandcomfortherbaby,Natalieremainedinplace.Augusthadthis.
“Youknowwhat?”Natalie’shusbandgaveanexaggeratedlookoverbothshoulders.“Thatkidalwayshadsnotinhisnose,anyway.”
Samanthagiggle-sniffed.
“They’llsayhehaschickenpox,butweknowthetruth.Hecouldn’tkeepupwithyou.”
“No,”saidtheirdaughter,alwayslogical.“Hecould.It’sprollyjustchickenpox.”
“Ifyousayso,”Augustsaidskeptically.“Here’swhatIknow.I’mgoingtobesittingintheaudiencethinkingabouthowbraveyouare.Allofuswill.You’resobrave,Samantha.Justlikeyourmom.RememberthatstoryItoldyouaboutherwinningoverthatmeanieinasuitinNewYork?”
“Yeah.”
“Andtheoneabouthermarryingabigdoofussoshecouldfollowherdreams?”
Samanthagasped.“You’renotabigdoofus.”
“Iwas.Stillamsometimes.It’sagoodthingyougirlslovemeanyway.
“Rememberwhenwewerecleaningoutthewinecaveandabatflewout.Iscreamed,butyourmomdidn’tevenflinch.Yougetyourbraveryfromher.”
Theirdaughterwasquietforalongmoment,hertinythroatmusclesstartingtostrain.“Dad?”
“Yeah?”
“DoIhavetobebravealone?”
“Hellno,youdon’t,”saidNatalie’shusband,nohesitation.
Andthat’showAugustendedupdancingasSamantha’spartnerintherecital,withaminiaturegreen,sequinedtophatpinnedtohishead,everymoveexecutedflawlessly.YetanothermemorythatNataliewouldreplayagainandagainfortherestoftheirlives.
Acknowledgments
WhenIsatdowntowritethisenemies-to-loversbook,Iaskedmyself,“WhatistheonethingIneedtofeelsatisfiedafterabookabouttwopeoplefeuding?Whatisgoingtomakemefeelbetteraftertheharshlyspokenwords?”Theanswercametomerightaway.Ineedirrefutableproofthattheherohaslovedtheheroineallalong.Ihopeyou’llagreethatisexactlywhatwehavehere.AugustandNataliearesomeofmyfavoritecharactersI’veeverwritten—pleaseenjoythemandtheirstubbornwithasideofvulnerableways.
Thankyousomuchtoeveryonewhoworkedonthisbelovedbookofmine,withaspecialthankstomyincredibleeditor,NicoleFischer,whoneverfailstohelpastorysparkle.Thankyou,aswell,toDanielH.wholetmeaskhimquestionsaboutfinance.Istillcan’tdomath.
Andasalways,thankyoutothebestREADERSonearth.Yourtitslookinsane.
Love,Tessa
AbouttheAuthor
#1NewYorkTimesbestsellingauthorTESSABAILEYcansolveallproblemsexceptforherown,soshefocusesthoseeffortsonstubborn,fictionalblue-collarmenandloyal,lovableheroines.ShelivesonLongIsland,avoidingthesunandsocialinteractions,thenwonderswhynoonehascalled.Dubbedthe“Michelangeloofdirtytalk”byEntertainmentWeekly,Tessawriteswithspice,spirit,swoon,andaguaranteedhappilyeverafter.CatchheronTikTok@authortessabaileyorcheckouttessabailey.comforacompletelistofherbooks.
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Copyright
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